The Joe Rogan Experience - December 19, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1217 - Nimesh Patel


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 54 minutes

Words per Minute

188.16718

Word Count

21,611

Sentence Count

2,154

Misogynist Sentences

25

Hate Speech Sentences

41


Summary

Comedian and stand-up comic Ricky Gervais joins Jemele to discuss how he became the first Indian-American to ever write for SNL, how he got his start in comedy, and what it means to be gay in the 21st century. He also talks about how he came to be a standup comic, and why he thinks being gay is a bad thing. And he explains why he doesn t think being gay should be considered a "choice" in comedy. Plus, he tells the story of how he went from being the first Asian-American writer on SNL to writing for one of the most famous shows of all time, Saturday Night Live. And, of course, he talks about his new book, which is out now! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with the latest comedy news and subscribe to our newest episodes of and wherever you get your favourite podchips. Subscribe to our new episodes of Late Night with Jemele and Jemele! Learn more about your ad choices. Like, comment and tell a friend about what they're listening to this podcast! If they're cool with it, we'll be giving you a shoutout in next week's episode! Thank you for listening and spreading the word out to your friends about this episode of , and we'll send you a review! Cheers everywhere else on the internet about it! XOXOXOXOYOJemele is a podcast by Jemele is listening to it on Podchorex and we're watching it on the podchoreXO! and you can be reached at bit.ee/jemele.co.ee on Insta: Thanks for listening, too! Thanks, Jemele, and I'll be listening out for all the love and support is so much love and appreciation and support and support, and you're listening out there! - Thank you, Jeezy, JEANDSOME! Jeebus - Jemele? xOJee - Jeeves JELEXOJEEZYXOZYEZYIZYZY & JUICY XOYZOZOJEZOYE


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Two.
00:00:05.000 One.
00:00:07.000 Fucking kids today.
00:00:09.000 Fucking kids today.
00:00:10.000 Fucking kids today.
00:00:13.000 Hasn't everybody said that from the beginning of time?
00:00:15.000 I bet cave people were saying that shit.
00:00:16.000 Uh-huh.
00:00:17.000 You know?
00:00:19.000 It's just...
00:00:20.000 It is what it is, right?
00:00:22.000 Every new group comes up.
00:00:24.000 They try to reestablish themselves as smarter...
00:00:30.000 You know, there's the new group coming up.
00:00:32.000 They're going to change the rules.
00:00:34.000 I don't know what's so wrong with how we turned out.
00:00:37.000 You know what I mean?
00:00:38.000 We're a mess.
00:00:42.000 I think every generation is better than the next in terms of how...
00:00:47.000 This is the best times I've ever been for most people.
00:00:50.000 Right.
00:00:51.000 But I'm saying from how we handled things perspective...
00:00:56.000 Things seem, I'm like a fine human being.
00:00:58.000 You seem like a fine, like most human beings are fine and we were raised quite, I don't want to say differently, but a little better in my perspective than like what's happening now.
00:01:08.000 Like what is being corrected is strange to me.
00:01:11.000 To people that don't know the story, let's fill them in on your story and how we got together.
00:01:16.000 So you're doing a gig.
00:01:17.000 You're at Columbia.
00:01:19.000 So a few months ago, I got this group called the Asian American Alliance at Columbia University hit me up saying, hey, you know, we're big fans of your work.
00:01:28.000 I was the first Indian to ever write for SNL. And so that was a story in the Asian American Indian community.
00:01:34.000 And so they hit me up in, like, May or June.
00:01:36.000 Like, hey, come.
00:01:37.000 We have this show in November.
00:01:38.000 It's called Culture Shock.
00:01:40.000 It's a big, like, fashion culture kind of event.
00:01:43.000 And I've done, like, tons of these before, you know?
00:01:46.000 Because my sister and I, we both went to NYU, but my sister, like, helped put on these kinds of shows.
00:01:52.000 So I would attend them, and, like, I've seen them ever since high school.
00:01:55.000 Because I went to high school in Parsippany, New Jersey, which is, like...
00:01:58.000 A hyper-diverse kind of place.
00:02:00.000 At least with Asians and Indian people.
00:02:03.000 And I went to a few in high school.
00:02:05.000 I got laid after one of them when I was in high school.
00:02:08.000 Congratulations!
00:02:09.000 I lost my virginity after one of them.
00:02:10.000 They held a special place in my heart.
00:02:13.000 And so I went...
00:02:14.000 Thinking, okay, this is going to be fun.
00:02:16.000 And they know who they're getting in that, you know, the email says, we're fans of your work.
00:02:20.000 Like, we want you to come do the show.
00:02:21.000 It's about, like, representing Asian identities and all that.
00:02:24.000 I'm like, dope.
00:02:26.000 And that's, I get there at, like, 730, and I walk in, and I'm like, okay, I know all these kids.
00:02:32.000 I mean, they're, like, 20 or something, but, like, I know them.
00:02:34.000 I grew up with these kids, you know, like, Abigails and Prateeks or whatever.
00:02:37.000 Like, I know all these guys.
00:02:38.000 Right.
00:02:39.000 And immediately my comic hat turns on.
00:02:41.000 I'm like, okay, the show itself, the energy is dope.
00:02:44.000 But the show, like acoustically I'm looking, okay, there's a high ceiling, the lighting shit.
00:02:50.000 It's not set up for like a comedy event, but I still think, okay, this is going to go well.
00:02:55.000 8.30, 8.45, I get on stage.
00:02:59.000 And I'm like, I do some Columbia stuff because I went to Columbia for like a summer program.
00:03:04.000 I started making fun of the kids a bit.
00:03:06.000 And I say, do I have to give like a trigger warning?
00:03:08.000 Almost like joking.
00:03:09.000 Like, do I have to give a trigger warning?
00:03:10.000 Because I know...
00:03:11.000 You know, that's a thing.
00:03:12.000 And I say, like, be careful.
00:03:14.000 Some of this might be sexist.
00:03:15.000 Some of this might be racist.
00:03:16.000 You know, just buckle up.
00:03:18.000 And one girl boos.
00:03:19.000 And I'm like, you're booing?
00:03:22.000 Already?
00:03:23.000 It's like two minutes in.
00:03:24.000 And I'm like, well, look, I just listened to the set on the way here.
00:03:29.000 And I said, well, buckle up, you know, because this is the real world or whatever.
00:03:34.000 And then I go into material.
00:03:37.000 And it's going well.
00:03:38.000 This is one story I want to dispel.
00:03:40.000 I will fully own a bomb.
00:03:43.000 If I'm bombing, I know I'm bombing.
00:03:44.000 I will tell you I've bombed a billion times.
00:03:47.000 I'm doing fine.
00:03:48.000 60-70% of the set.
00:03:51.000 17 minutes in, I tell the joke where I say, effectively, you know, I don't think being gay is a choice, which I don't think it is at all.
00:03:59.000 But this is how you know, because there's gay black people, and no one's going to choose to be gay if they're already black, right?
00:04:05.000 No one's doubling down on hardship.
00:04:07.000 That's a funny joke.
00:04:08.000 Thank you.
00:04:10.000 That's a funny joke.
00:04:11.000 Thank you.
00:04:12.000 No black dude ever wakes up and thinks, you know what, this black shit, too easy.
00:04:16.000 I'm going to put on a Madonna halter top and some Jordans and tell an Indian dude how to live his life.
00:04:20.000 That's not a choice.
00:04:21.000 You were born that way.
00:04:23.000 And it bombs.
00:04:25.000 Like, there's silence.
00:04:26.000 Really?
00:04:26.000 Complete silence.
00:04:28.000 And then I say, you're exactly who I expected to be as a crowd.
00:04:32.000 And then I say, the only person that chooses...
00:04:35.000 This is also what was in print is that the offensive part to me, what I think is offensive, is the next part where I say the only person that chooses whether or not to be gay on a daily basis is Mike Pence, right?
00:04:46.000 We can all agree that...
00:04:48.000 Like, I don't know if he's gay or not, but no man hates homosexuals that much if he himself is not a homosexual.
00:04:53.000 He chooses not to be gay every day.
00:04:55.000 And that gets some laughs and applause, and I'm like, okay, cool.
00:04:58.000 And then I get back into it.
00:05:00.000 I'm rolling for about another two or three minutes.
00:05:03.000 I start talking to some...
00:05:05.000 I do a joke about how my dad landed in Newark when he...
00:05:14.000 What is she interrupting?
00:05:19.000 Is she heckling or is she...?
00:05:30.000 Fine kind of throwaway line.
00:05:31.000 This girl goes, that's not true.
00:05:33.000 I'm like, obviously...
00:05:35.000 I'm just kidding.
00:05:38.000 But I know what she's trying to do.
00:05:41.000 I'm just trying to talk to her.
00:05:42.000 And I'm going, trying to talk about...
00:05:44.000 Trying to get back into material.
00:05:47.000 And that's like probably minute 20 or something.
00:05:50.000 And then...
00:05:51.000 Out of my corner of my left eye, I see the three girls that invited me to do the show, initially in May or June, like, gather.
00:06:00.000 And I'm like, that's kind of strange.
00:06:01.000 I still talk to this girl for, like, another 30 seconds.
00:06:03.000 And then as I'm concluding my talking to her, because I realize that's not going to go anywhere.
00:06:08.000 They come on stage with microphones in like one trench coat and they're just like...
00:06:13.000 They're like, it's time for...
00:06:14.000 Literally, they say there's been a change.
00:06:16.000 Thank you, Nimesh.
00:06:16.000 There's been a changing program.
00:06:18.000 You know, we've received some comments from members.
00:06:21.000 You know, we think that's enough.
00:06:24.000 How long have you been on stage for?
00:06:26.000 20-something minutes at this point.
00:06:28.000 And it was that one joke that did it?
00:06:30.000 So I go, I'm like, first I'm like, I'm not even mad at this point.
00:06:35.000 I'm just like in shock.
00:06:35.000 I'm like, this is like an episode of Impractical Jokers.
00:06:38.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:06:39.000 I still have 45 minutes left.
00:06:42.000 I'm slated to do an hour.
00:06:44.000 I'm like, really?
00:06:45.000 And they say, yeah, there's been comments.
00:06:46.000 People are upset or offended.
00:06:49.000 And I'm like, I feel like we're having a good time.
00:06:50.000 And some of the crowd cheers.
00:06:52.000 And then I'm like, why do I got to go?
00:06:55.000 And one of the girls goes, the tech has to leave.
00:06:57.000 And I look at the tech has to leave.
00:06:59.000 This is all on YouTube.
00:07:00.000 Like someone put the YouTube video out of this particular part.
00:07:04.000 And I go, they better be leaving because I can see the tech people.
00:07:09.000 And I look at them like, you got to bounce, dude?
00:07:12.000 So the tech people, meaning the people that are coordinating the electronics that broadcast the show.
00:07:17.000 Exactly.
00:07:18.000 Whoever's running, I don't need tech.
00:07:20.000 I don't have fucking pyro.
00:07:21.000 The microphone's on.
00:07:23.000 What do you mean the tech has to go?
00:07:24.000 The tech people, they're coming up with lies.
00:07:26.000 Yeah, I mean, I understand why she lied because she's trying to save face and not to embarrass me or whatever, but I'm like, I'm not going to believe that shit that all three of you came out to be like, the tech has to go.
00:07:37.000 And then I go, is it because the tech has to leave or because I'm saying some things that made people uncomfortable?
00:07:45.000 And one of the other girls goes, we think there's a distinction between being uncomfortable and being disrespectful.
00:07:53.000 And I'm like, don't use your big words on me.
00:07:59.000 But in my brain, I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:08:04.000 I don't think I've been disrespectful at all.
00:08:06.000 And there are some people who are like, what the fuck is going on?
00:08:09.000 Majority of people are like, what the fuck is going on?
00:08:11.000 But there's a pocket of the crowd where the three Asian American Alliance leaders and the rest of the crew was waiting.
00:08:20.000 And I think some of them cheer when there's a distinction between disrespectful and being uncomfortable.
00:08:24.000 I'm like, I haven't been disrespectful in the slightest.
00:08:27.000 What are you talking about?
00:08:28.000 And then one girl goes, we think you're not entitled to be making some of the jokes you're making.
00:08:33.000 And I'm like, my trigger word is entitled.
00:08:38.000 I'm thinking...
00:08:39.000 And at this point, I'm like, I'm too...
00:08:42.000 Almost in shock, deer in headlights, kind of, to, like, even process anger.
00:08:45.000 I'm just like...
00:08:46.000 Now I'm just trying to assess what they're specifically saying.
00:08:49.000 Like, which joke specifically?
00:08:50.000 And they're like, we think that gay and black joke is particularly offensive or whatever.
00:08:56.000 And I'm like...
00:08:57.000 And then at this point, I'm like, instead of explaining that the joke is quite progressive...
00:09:02.000 I'm like, I literally got that joke from an audience member at Stand Up New York in like 2011. Like, I remember the conversation distinctly because it was such like one of these sort of, oh shit, that's a good bit moments.
00:09:14.000 Right.
00:09:14.000 And I tell them that.
00:09:16.000 And they were like...
00:09:17.000 You got it talking to a guy in the crowd?
00:09:20.000 Yes.
00:09:20.000 So I was on stage, and I used to live in Hell's Kitchen in New York, and there's like a gay black constituency that would always make fun of me when I was leaving my apartment.
00:09:30.000 But like ribbing me, you know what I mean?
00:09:31.000 Right.
00:09:32.000 And so, like, I'm trying to talk about that on stage at Stand Up New York, doing, like, a check spot or whatever, and I'm talking to the crowd, and then there's a gay black guy that, like, heckled me.
00:09:42.000 And I start talking to him, and then at some point, I'm like, this is how you know being gay can't be a choice, right?
00:09:47.000 And he starts dying, and we have, like, a good rapport.
00:09:49.000 I'm like, oh, perfect.
00:09:50.000 This is a great bit that I just got.
00:09:52.000 Right, right.
00:09:53.000 And so I tell them that, and they're like, no, you know, there's been a change, you have to go, and I'm like, effectively, I'm like, you're wrong for doing what you're doing right now.
00:10:04.000 I'm a generation older than you guys.
00:10:07.000 I know comedy better than anybody in this room.
00:10:09.000 That's for goddamn sure.
00:10:10.000 And I know disrespect, and I've been through a lot of shit.
00:10:14.000 Like, I know that what I'm saying right now hasn't been offensive in the slightest.
00:10:19.000 And I say, you can't isolate yourself from the real world.
00:10:23.000 Like, what are you going to do when some real bad shit happens in the world?
00:10:28.000 Like, if someone actually does something that's offensive.
00:10:30.000 Like, you can't handle things this way if you silence someone.
00:10:32.000 That's not progress or whatever.
00:10:35.000 And then they asked me if I have closing remarks.
00:10:37.000 Whoa, you have closing remarks?
00:10:39.000 Closing remarks.
00:10:40.000 You should have prepared some.
00:10:42.000 It's hard to come up with closing remarks out of nowhere.
00:10:44.000 On the spot.
00:10:44.000 I tried to save it.
00:10:45.000 I tried to save it with a bit, you know?
00:10:48.000 And it fucking bombs.
00:10:50.000 And I'm like, alright.
00:10:53.000 And I'm like, I'm still talking.
00:10:56.000 And then they cut my mic.
00:10:57.000 And I'm like, really?
00:10:58.000 I'm like, really?
00:10:59.000 You cut my mic?
00:11:00.000 Alright.
00:11:00.000 And then I'm like, alright, thank you.
00:11:02.000 Put the mic down.
00:11:03.000 And I bounce.
00:11:04.000 And then they try to...
00:11:05.000 Then they won't even let me talk to them backstage.
00:11:09.000 Like, one member's like, we gotta escort you out.
00:11:12.000 I'm like, you're gonna escort me out?
00:11:13.000 I'm a 6'1 Indian dude.
00:11:15.000 Like, I don't need escort from you, tiny person.
00:11:18.000 Like, I'll be fine.
00:11:19.000 I'm not here to fight anybody.
00:11:20.000 Even though I was, this is not the move you're gonna...
00:11:23.000 So, are they escorting you out because they want to kick you out?
00:11:25.000 Or are they worried about your safety?
00:11:26.000 No, they want to escort me out because they want to take me out.
00:11:29.000 Right, right, right.
00:11:29.000 And so, I go to...
00:11:31.000 I have a camera crew there.
00:11:34.000 Because I'm trying to film every hour that I do.
00:11:37.000 And I go to them, and I'm like, what the fuck?
00:11:40.000 If you watch a YouTube clip, I'm like, on stage, I look at them, I go to them, and then some of the members from the Alliance try to talk to me.
00:11:50.000 Like, we're so sorry that that happened.
00:11:53.000 That's not all of us, or we don't know what just happened.
00:11:56.000 In my head, I'm thinking, so much for the Alliance part of this whole thing, right?
00:12:00.000 I thought we were the same people.
00:12:02.000 We come from the same place.
00:12:03.000 So there's no other jokes they found offensive?
00:12:05.000 That was the only one?
00:12:06.000 That's what they said.
00:12:08.000 There's two or three things that said articles, which I made the mistake of just reading everything.
00:12:13.000 Don't ever do that.
00:12:14.000 Don't ever do that.
00:12:16.000 I read everything.
00:12:19.000 There's two or three articles that say I was badgering two people in the crowd.
00:12:24.000 And there's one girl who, maybe two or three minutes in, I talked to her for crowd work.
00:12:28.000 I asked where she's from, what she's doing, whatever.
00:12:31.000 And she gets up.
00:12:32.000 She stands and shows herself off to the crowd.
00:12:35.000 I make fun of her for a little bit.
00:12:36.000 And then this other girl, the Newark chick, that is like...
00:12:40.000 We get personal because she reveals that her father's not in her life.
00:12:44.000 The conversation just gets awkward.
00:12:46.000 She revealed that her father's not in her life while she was in the crowd?
00:12:50.000 I'm talking to her like...
00:12:52.000 I was like, what do your parents do or whatever?
00:12:56.000 And she's like, I don't know what my dad does.
00:12:58.000 I'm like, what do you mean?
00:12:59.000 He's like, oh, I don't know him.
00:13:00.000 I'm like, oh, but he's not in your life or whatever.
00:13:03.000 And she's like, yeah.
00:13:04.000 I was like, okay, I can sense that she's uncomfortable now.
00:13:08.000 To the point where I asked her, I was like, are you uncomfortable?
00:13:10.000 And she said, no.
00:13:10.000 I'm like, okay, cool.
00:13:11.000 I can make this worse.
00:13:13.000 And then I'm like, but I won't.
00:13:15.000 You seem like a nice person.
00:13:15.000 That's when they came out.
00:13:17.000 But the people are apologizing to me, and I'm like, Now I'm mad.
00:13:23.000 Now I'm like, once I leave the stage, now I'm livid.
00:13:26.000 But I know myself well enough to be like, I'm not going to talk to anybody if I'm angry because I'll just say some wild shit.
00:13:33.000 I could have billboard Philadelphia the whole thing.
00:13:35.000 You know what I mean?
00:13:36.000 This just went off on all these people for like 10 minutes.
00:13:38.000 What the fuck is wrong with us?
00:13:40.000 But I just went.
00:13:41.000 I was like, I gotta go.
00:13:42.000 I'm out.
00:13:43.000 And I took my crew and we just walked straight out of this fucking giant hall.
00:13:48.000 And...
00:13:50.000 And then, like, I'm waiting for my car and people from the show are, like, apologizing.
00:13:55.000 Not, like, just audience members.
00:13:56.000 Like, yo, we're so sorry.
00:13:57.000 That was fucked up.
00:13:58.000 That shouldn't have happened.
00:13:58.000 You were doing great.
00:13:59.000 Whatever.
00:14:00.000 And then, like, I get in my Uber to my next show.
00:14:05.000 After this, I have to do another hour.
00:14:08.000 At another show.
00:14:10.000 Where are you going next?
00:14:11.000 UCB East in Lower East Side.
00:14:13.000 From Columbia to Lower East Side.
00:14:14.000 It's like a 30-40 minute ride.
00:14:16.000 And we hop in the car and I'm like, first I'm going to text my agent.
00:14:21.000 I'm like, this just happened.
00:14:22.000 And he's like, do not say shit until you get paid.
00:14:25.000 I'm like, that's probably the right move.
00:14:27.000 Because I'm about to just fucking Instagram.
00:14:30.000 That's a real agent.
00:14:31.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:14:32.000 Yeah, he's a man.
00:14:34.000 Protect the shekels.
00:14:35.000 Yeah, he was just, do not say shit until you get paid.
00:14:38.000 I'm like, you're right.
00:14:39.000 Smart man.
00:14:39.000 And I'm just like, in my head, like, mad, listening to, like, Drake, just like, I gotta let enemies...
00:14:45.000 I'm just like, fucking everything that...
00:14:48.000 I think is wrong that we hear as like a narrative of like kids are soft all this kind of shit is playing like yes that's what it is like and I'm thankful that my crew was there because I'm venting to them because if they weren't there I'd be on some other shit.
00:15:04.000 But as I'm checking my Instagram, because I'm like, this is definitely going to be a fucking story on Instagram at the very least.
00:15:11.000 People are DMing me from the show.
00:15:13.000 Like, yo, we're so sorry that that happened.
00:15:15.000 That's so fucked up.
00:15:16.000 People are emailing me the same shit.
00:15:18.000 Was anybody saying, fuck you, you shouldn't have been there in the first place?
00:15:21.000 No, no one said that to me.
00:15:22.000 One girl who was the suite mate of one of the organizers DM'd me and just yelled at me basically.
00:15:31.000 I wrote to her, thank you for your support.
00:15:34.000 What did she say?
00:15:36.000 She said, let me find it.
00:15:38.000 Saved it?
00:15:39.000 Dude, my DMs just blew up.
00:15:42.000 Is this Twitter or Instagram?
00:15:43.000 Instagram.
00:15:45.000 My Instagram's not up.
00:15:47.000 I deleted it from my phone.
00:15:48.000 You deleted it from your phone.
00:15:50.000 I check it in the morning and then I delete it.
00:15:52.000 And then I check it at night and then I delete it again.
00:15:54.000 Really?
00:15:54.000 I just fucking hate...
00:15:56.000 When I was at SNL, I worked on Update.
00:15:59.000 And so I was constantly on my phone or on Twitter or on Instagram just checking news, reading shit.
00:16:04.000 And like...
00:16:06.000 It annoyed the shit out of me.
00:16:08.000 I hate the news.
00:16:09.000 Lo and behold, I am the news now for a bit, but I hate the news.
00:16:13.000 It's all bullshit.
00:16:14.000 And being in this cycle has confirmed my belief that it's all fucking nonsense.
00:16:19.000 But she effectively says, I hope you learned your lesson of respecting what you were hired to do and respecting strong young women and check your fucking ego.
00:16:31.000 And I was just like...
00:16:34.000 I was like, it took all of me not to just be like, just eviscerate.
00:16:39.000 Because I'm like, I'm good with, I'm not good at a lot of things, but I can eviscerate somebody in an Instagram DM. And so I didn't say shit to her besides thank you for your support.
00:16:49.000 But all these people are messaging me like, yo, we're so sorry that fucking happened.
00:16:53.000 And I'm like, alright, I'm not totally fucked with all these kids.
00:16:58.000 And I go to this show at UCB East and I'm taping an hour.
00:17:02.000 So I can't even process what just happened because my instinct is to just talk about this immediately.
00:17:08.000 But I can't because I have to tape this hour.
00:17:12.000 And so I get off stage, and the hour goes well, and as I'm leaving UCB East, three kids that were at the show at Columbia had come down from Columbia and followed me to UCB East, and they came up to me and apologized in person.
00:17:27.000 They're like, we're so sorry that happened.
00:17:29.000 We loved your set.
00:17:30.000 We don't know what the fuck is going on.
00:17:32.000 And that gave me a beat to be like, alright, you know?
00:17:36.000 Like, maybe everyone isn't this way.
00:17:40.000 Maybe it's just the people that have the fucking bullhorn that get to just say whatever the fuck they want and silence people that are, like, the minority, but they're, like, the vocal minority.
00:17:49.000 Whereas, like, all these people that are, like, actually on my squad are not as vocal as they can be.
00:17:55.000 They're more, like, quiet and apologizing in person.
00:17:57.000 Mm-hmm.
00:17:58.000 And so the next day, I don't think anything about it, but the Columbia newspaper hits me up.
00:18:05.000 I leave Columbia at 9.30.
00:18:07.000 The Columbia newspaper hits me up at 10.05 p.m.
00:18:11.000 Like, hey, do you have any comment?
00:18:12.000 I'm like, comment?
00:18:14.000 I'm hungry.
00:18:15.000 How's that for a comment?
00:18:16.000 I'm not going to talk to you right now.
00:18:18.000 Let me fucking process what's going on.
00:18:20.000 The next day, I'm still thinking about it, but I'm going down to open for Aziz in Atlantic City.
00:18:26.000 And open for him, and I'm telling him this story.
00:18:30.000 And he immediately hits on the fact that it's crazy that these kids came up to you and apologized.
00:18:37.000 And I'm like, I didn't even think about how insane that is, because I'm still mad.
00:18:43.000 But I'm talking to these kids.
00:18:45.000 I'm talking to Aziz and I'm just like, that is kind of crazy.
00:18:47.000 Because it's so easy to buy into the shit that everyone is a fucking soft motherfucker.
00:18:52.000 And then I think about it some more.
00:18:55.000 And then I think about all the gigs I've done college-wise before.
00:18:58.000 In the past year, I've been lucky to know.
00:19:00.000 I did Texas.
00:19:01.000 I did a school in Alaska.
00:19:03.000 I did a school in Ohio.
00:19:04.000 I did a school in Maryland.
00:19:05.000 And I've said much more offensive shit, like anti-Trump shit in the fucking redness of states.
00:19:11.000 It's all been fine.
00:19:13.000 I've never been kicked off stage before.
00:19:16.000 To me, this Columbia incident, even the students there seem like the exception rather than the rule of everyone's a soft person.
00:19:27.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:27.000 Does that make sense?
00:19:28.000 It does make sense, but what I think is...
00:19:31.000 Is young kids in particular that are in a position of power, right?
00:19:35.000 They're running something.
00:19:36.000 They have this idea of how people should behave that they want in their head.
00:19:41.000 And when you don't fit that mold, then they just decide to be outraged.
00:19:46.000 Yeah.
00:19:47.000 That's what happened here.
00:19:48.000 You need to look at the context of what you said.
00:19:50.000 First of all, you're a comedian, right?
00:19:52.000 You're obviously a guy with jokes about shit, right?
00:19:56.000 You're not saying anything negative about black people.
00:19:58.000 You're not saying anything about gay people.
00:20:00.000 You're essentially admitting that it's a hardship.
00:20:03.000 I mean, we all agree that black people experience racism and gay people experience homophobia.
00:20:09.000 Everybody agrees that.
00:20:10.000 So that joke makes perfect sense and it's funny.
00:20:13.000 Thank you.
00:20:14.000 I mean, it's stupid.
00:20:16.000 What they're doing is stupid.
00:20:18.000 But that's normal, man.
00:20:19.000 Dude, that's been going on forever.
00:20:20.000 I stopped doing colleges a long time ago, like the early 2000s.
00:20:25.000 I did a college in Florida.
00:20:27.000 And I remember thinking, they don't know enough.
00:20:30.000 This is not fun.
00:20:31.000 The only reason why I would do this is for money, because colleges pay a lot of money.
00:20:34.000 But they don't know enough.
00:20:37.000 If they're 18-year-old kids and they can get to a club that has an 18-year-old limit where you can get in at 18, they should do that.
00:20:45.000 And then they'll be with other 30-year-olds and people with life experience.
00:20:49.000 Yeah.
00:20:50.000 I don't want to perform at the whim of children.
00:20:55.000 And that's what these are.
00:20:56.000 These are children who are engaging in recreational outrage.
00:21:00.000 They're deciding to be outraged.
00:21:02.000 You know, it felt like with them particularly, it felt like...
00:21:07.000 I grew up fine.
00:21:10.000 I didn't grow up rich, but my parents had some money for a bit before things went...
00:21:13.000 We're average middle class people.
00:21:15.000 But like...
00:21:17.000 To me, it's like, I've been through some life, and so I know when people who haven't been through life get upset about shit.
00:21:24.000 It's always like, the thing with Texas and Ohio and Alaska is like, these are like the kids of blue-collar people.
00:21:31.000 The people who have been through some shit.
00:21:33.000 And maybe not even just blue-collar, but people who have been through some kind of life, a life experience, where they know that...
00:21:39.000 Things aren't just like, words can hurt, but for the most part, they're fine.
00:21:44.000 It's like when your fucking dad loses his job.
00:21:47.000 Well, it's also the intent of what you're trying to do.
00:21:49.000 Yeah.
00:21:50.000 Like, what are you trying to do?
00:21:51.000 You're trying to get laughs.
00:21:52.000 You're telling jokes and trying to get laughs.
00:21:53.000 That's what you're fucking hired to do.
00:21:55.000 Yeah, they take the context of...
00:21:57.000 People forget that comedian is a job.
00:22:01.000 That, like, I'm here, like, it's not who I am as a human being necessarily.
00:22:05.000 I will go for funny first.
00:22:08.000 Oh, yeah.
00:22:08.000 Funny over everything.
00:22:10.000 Well, you're a fucking New York City comedian.
00:22:12.000 Right.
00:22:12.000 You have to.
00:22:13.000 Right.
00:22:13.000 That's the only way it works.
00:22:15.000 It's so crazy what people, I think, I don't know if kids have changed or whatever.
00:22:21.000 No, no, no.
00:22:21.000 They haven't changed.
00:22:22.000 They just think that this is the thing to do now.
00:22:24.000 Look, when I was doing colleges way back in the day, I was in my 20s.
00:22:30.000 I did a college in Connecticut.
00:22:32.000 And right after I did the college, I was talking to the kids.
00:22:35.000 I would do my set, and then I would open up for Q&A. Yeah.
00:22:42.000 Oh, the fuck's going on my throat.
00:22:44.000 But it was...
00:22:46.000 I was probably 24, 25 maybe?
00:22:51.000 Maybe 25 at the oldest.
00:22:53.000 So I was just a couple years older than them.
00:22:55.000 And so it was fun for me to talk to them about what life is like when you actually have to pay your own bills and you're out free.
00:23:04.000 And some guy goes, you know, like I was doing the question thing, and some guy goes, I go, you know, I lift his hand up, he goes, tell a joke.
00:23:14.000 I go, tell a joke.
00:23:15.000 And I go, two Jews walk into a bar.
00:23:18.000 They buy it.
00:23:20.000 It's an old fucking street joke.
00:23:23.000 After the show, you know, the show goes great.
00:23:25.000 I say, thank you.
00:23:26.000 I really appreciate you guys for coming out.
00:23:28.000 It was really a lot of fun.
00:23:29.000 Thank you.
00:23:30.000 Good night.
00:23:30.000 So afterwards, I would always hang around and say hi to people.
00:23:33.000 There was no picture taken back then because you had to have an actual camera.
00:23:36.000 Nobody had a fucking camera.
00:23:37.000 Oh, it was a long time ago.
00:23:38.000 A long time ago.
00:23:39.000 I'm 51, so this is 90, 91, 92, somewhere around there.
00:23:46.000 So this one guy comes up to me and goes, The joke he said about Jewish people is very offensive.
00:23:52.000 And I thought he was joking.
00:23:53.000 I go, are you serious?
00:23:54.000 And he goes, yes, very offensive.
00:23:56.000 And he's like nervous and shit and like has a hard time looking me in the eye.
00:24:01.000 And I go, dude, I go, think about what the joke says.
00:24:04.000 It's about Jewish people being really good at business.
00:24:06.000 They walk into a bar, they decide to buy it.
00:24:09.000 There's nothing offensive about it at all.
00:24:12.000 You know what's crazy?
00:24:13.000 It's like people now and maybe forever have always heard shit and they immediately think this means if I'm thinking something bad about this, that means that someone is saying something bad.
00:24:24.000 It's not even that they're thinking bad about it.
00:24:25.000 They've decided this is a taboo subject.
00:24:27.000 Even if you're not even saying anything negative about it.
00:24:29.000 Like say if you do a joke about interracial relationships.
00:24:33.000 The best kind.
00:24:34.000 In a racial race, just say it.
00:24:35.000 If you just do a joke about that.
00:24:37.000 There are people that are going to put red flags up instantly and look to misinterpret anything that you say on purpose.
00:24:43.000 Because they don't want that thought in their head.
00:24:48.000 They don't want the thought of, you know, like, this guy's looking for anti-Semitism in that joke.
00:24:54.000 Two Jews walk into a bar, they buy it.
00:24:56.000 There's none there!
00:24:57.000 You could look all day long.
00:24:58.000 It's a joke about Jewish folks buying stuff.
00:25:01.000 There's nothing negative about it at all.
00:25:02.000 You're confirming a positive stereotype.
00:25:04.000 Yes!
00:25:04.000 It's like a big dick black guy joke.
00:25:06.000 It's not negative.
00:25:07.000 There's nothing negative about it.
00:25:08.000 Nobody gets upset that you think they have a big dick.
00:25:10.000 Unless they have a little dick.
00:25:11.000 Unless they have a little dick.
00:25:12.000 It's a lot of let down.
00:25:13.000 But it's...
00:25:15.000 It's young people that are also flexing, right?
00:25:18.000 They're free from the control of their parents.
00:25:20.000 And I find that you're dealing with that more in, like...
00:25:25.000 Rich or upper-middle-class families because I think they're more hands-on with their kids and more controlling and those kids get free they want to exert their own freedom and when they get free their parents they want to Establish they're different and that they have their own mind their own and then we're part of the new generation and the new generation is not going to tolerate racism cis hetero Activity and they just decide that they're gonna fucking put their foot down but It's a pattern that repeats itself over and over and over again.
00:25:55.000 It's just today they have social media.
00:25:57.000 And this is the difference.
00:25:58.000 The difference is they feel like they're empowered.
00:26:00.000 Because they get online and other morons that are the same age as them confirm with them.
00:26:05.000 You can just confirm any belief that you want.
00:26:08.000 That's another lesson I've gotten from this.
00:26:11.000 Yeah.
00:26:12.000 Confirmation bias is the wildest shit ever.
00:26:16.000 You can be like, there's one lady who wrote some shit that I'm anti-gay and anti-black and other people.
00:26:20.000 I'm like, in the comments, yes, this is clearly what he was saying.
00:26:24.000 I'm like, you took that from my set?
00:26:28.000 Me, I'm anti-gay and anti-black.
00:26:29.000 I don't think there's a solution here.
00:26:31.000 Yeah, I've looked at this hard for a long time.
00:26:33.000 No, we need safe spaces for comedians.
00:26:36.000 There's no solution because you're dealing with immature people in terms of literally the development of their frontal lobe.
00:26:44.000 They're not fully formed yet.
00:26:45.000 How much do you think of it as like...
00:26:47.000 I put it in the op-ed that I wrote, but I was thinking about how much of it...
00:26:53.000 Now is a function of the fact that we immediately get whatever we want in our hands.
00:26:59.000 You know what I mean?
00:27:00.000 There's instant gratification, so there's an instant kind of thought process where there's no real thinking that occurs.
00:27:05.000 It's more just like, this comes into my brain.
00:27:07.000 I hear gay black.
00:27:08.000 This has to be.
00:27:09.000 This is wrong.
00:27:10.000 It's coming out.
00:27:11.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:27:12.000 I mean, if you say gay black on stage today in a really liberal, very progressive environment...
00:27:17.000 You get this thing.
00:27:18.000 But you have to say something like super pro-gay and super pro-black, and it doesn't even have to be a joke.
00:27:26.000 You're better off just going for that applause break move.
00:27:32.000 Which is gross.
00:27:33.000 People want their comedians to be their leaders.
00:27:38.000 That's what it feels like.
00:27:41.000 They just want to laugh.
00:27:42.000 No.
00:27:43.000 When I say people, I mean like this next group of comedy.
00:27:48.000 Oh, these kids you're talking about?
00:27:49.000 But they don't, because the comedians that are going to be their leaders aren't even going to be funny.
00:27:53.000 They're going to fucking die.
00:27:54.000 They're starved to death.
00:27:56.000 Once you get out in the real world...
00:27:58.000 Fuck, man.
00:27:59.000 If you're not funny...
00:28:00.000 You're fucked, yes.
00:28:00.000 You have nothing.
00:28:01.000 But, like, it's like, if I went up there and I said, Asians are the shit, and fuck Whitey, I would have been out on the fucking chairs.
00:28:12.000 They would have carried me out.
00:28:13.000 Like, this is our motherfucker.
00:28:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:28:15.000 But, like, that's the thing.
00:28:16.000 I think, like, people want...
00:28:18.000 Like, I'm not a hero, man.
00:28:19.000 I'm just trying to be heard, you know?
00:28:21.000 Well, you're a comic.
00:28:22.000 Yeah.
00:28:22.000 Yeah, you're trying to be funny.
00:28:23.000 Yes, that's all it is.
00:28:25.000 I really believe that this is just a symptom of growing up.
00:28:28.000 And you're just giving these people the power to express themselves where there's no mature, wiser person that's around them that says, hold on, let's look at the context of what he's doing.
00:28:38.000 Let's examine what he's doing and then you're going to apologize to him because this is clearly a fucking joke.
00:28:43.000 You hired a guy to tell jokes.
00:28:44.000 He tells jokes and you say, not that joke.
00:28:47.000 Right, you know, this specific thing is strange because everyone's like, he did not respect what the event was.
00:28:54.000 I'm like, hey, I'm like, what?
00:28:57.000 I mean, I'm not your mascot here.
00:29:01.000 This is not a pep rally, dog.
00:29:03.000 I'm here to tell jokes.
00:29:04.000 You weren't hired to do a speech about this event.
00:29:07.000 Right, I'm here.
00:29:08.000 You were hired to do your act.
00:29:09.000 My fucking act.
00:29:10.000 I don't think they understand how long it takes to write an act.
00:29:12.000 It's...
00:29:14.000 That's another conversation.
00:29:17.000 Comedy is fucking hard work.
00:29:19.000 It's fucking hard.
00:29:20.000 You think I'm going to just go up there and just...
00:29:21.000 Yeah.
00:29:22.000 I mean, we were all out last night.
00:29:23.000 I ran into you.
00:29:24.000 You were at the improv as well, right?
00:29:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:26.000 Yeah, I mean, dude, we're grinding, right?
00:29:27.000 It's fucking...
00:29:28.000 Throwing shit up there, trying new bits.
00:29:31.000 It's tough.
00:29:32.000 Recording things, listening to them.
00:29:34.000 We're like, oh, this didn't work.
00:29:35.000 Now I've got to restructure it.
00:29:36.000 Now I'm going to go back and try to figure out how I can make this gay black joke.
00:29:39.000 Yeah.
00:29:41.000 Better.
00:29:41.000 The problem is the gay black joke, now everybody knows it.
00:29:43.000 Everyone knows it.
00:29:44.000 People are now going to go, do the gay black joke!
00:29:46.000 Gay black!
00:29:48.000 Hey, gay black!
00:29:49.000 People are going to start cheering for it.
00:29:51.000 Gay black, gay black, gay black.
00:29:53.000 My friend started a hashtag challenge, which I hope no one picks up, the Nimesh challenge, where if I'm on stage somewhere, you just come on stage and rip the mic out of my head.
00:30:05.000 You just fucked up.
00:30:06.000 Don't do that, please.
00:30:07.000 You definitely should have said that on this show.
00:30:10.000 Good luck.
00:30:11.000 Good luck in the next six months.
00:30:13.000 Oh, Christ.
00:30:14.000 I really don't think this is a big deal.
00:30:17.000 I just think there's a reason why all these different comedians have been saying...
00:30:21.000 I heard John Mulaney said this recently, and I really love John Mulaney, but I completely disagree with him.
00:30:25.000 He said the reason why comedians don't do college is that it's nothing to do with political correctness, it has to do with the money.
00:30:31.000 That is not true.
00:30:32.000 No.
00:30:32.000 He says that because his act is really good and really clean.
00:30:36.000 You can essentially do his act anywhere.
00:30:38.000 It's an excellent act.
00:30:40.000 But there's other guys like that, like Brian Regan.
00:30:43.000 He's got an excellent act.
00:30:44.000 He can do colleges anywhere.
00:30:45.000 Gaffigan, yeah.
00:30:46.000 Gaffigan, yeah, anywhere.
00:30:48.000 The reason why they don't do colleges is because the kids are too fucking sensitive.
00:30:52.000 That's 100% the reason.
00:30:54.000 Do you think that...
00:30:55.000 They don't make money at colleges.
00:30:56.000 You don't understand how much colleges pay.
00:30:58.000 They pay a lot of money.
00:30:59.000 I think to a lot of comics, it's just not worth the hassle.
00:31:03.000 It's not worth it.
00:31:03.000 If I didn't need the cash and I was like, Jerry, if I was whatever, the two and a half weeks that I've spent reading the news and answering emails and getting back into the shit of just like,
00:31:19.000 they said what?
00:31:20.000 If I didn't, I would easily give that up.
00:31:23.000 But here's the flip side.
00:31:25.000 This is probably one of the best things that's ever happened to you as a stand-up.
00:31:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:29.000 That's what everyone's saying.
00:31:30.000 Gigantic national attention.
00:31:31.000 The two things every comic has said is, one, do you get paid?
00:31:36.000 Yes.
00:31:37.000 And two is, good press, right?
00:31:41.000 I'm like, you fucking pricks.
00:31:43.000 But it's true.
00:31:44.000 No, it's great.
00:31:44.000 And you're going to feel the same way after time has sort of soothed the wounds over.
00:31:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:48.000 Right now, it's still raw and fresh, and you're still angry.
00:31:51.000 I'm still getting shit from comics.
00:31:53.000 That's been my favorite thing about all this, is just comedians talking shit.
00:31:58.000 One of my friends posted on Facebook, he said, I mean, who among us hasn't wanted to snatch the mic out of Nimesh's hand?
00:32:05.000 Just like pieces of shit.
00:32:07.000 Like, let me live, man.
00:32:08.000 Yeah.
00:32:09.000 But you would have done the same thing!
00:32:10.000 Of course!
00:32:11.000 We can't help it!
00:32:12.000 Of course!
00:32:13.000 The bomb hurried around the world!
00:32:14.000 My comic friends would come to the fuck you guys.
00:32:17.000 Dude, Jeff Ross who set this up.
00:32:18.000 Jeff is the one who connected us.
00:32:20.000 Shout out Jeff.
00:32:21.000 Shout out to Jeff Ross.
00:32:22.000 Jeff said something that I agree with so wholeheartedly.
00:32:26.000 He said, I'm almost a comedian before I'm an American.
00:32:29.000 Yeah.
00:32:29.000 He said that on this, right?
00:32:31.000 Yeah.
00:32:31.000 And I'm like, yeah.
00:32:33.000 Yeah, it's like, it's a rare person.
00:32:36.000 There's only, dude, how many of us are there in the whole country?
00:32:39.000 Is there even a thousand?
00:32:41.000 Like, real legitimate working ones?
00:32:43.000 I don't know, man.
00:32:44.000 How many headliners?
00:32:45.000 Is there 500?
00:32:46.000 Is there like legit, how many would you pay to see?
00:32:49.000 Is it a hundred?
00:32:51.000 Yeah, that's a good question.
00:32:52.000 I might pay to see a hundred dudes in the country.
00:32:54.000 Maybe in the world.
00:32:55.000 Let me be honest.
00:32:56.000 Yeah.
00:32:57.000 I might pay to see two dudes outside of the country.
00:32:59.000 Yeah.
00:33:01.000 International acts.
00:33:03.000 Fine.
00:33:04.000 Lovely people.
00:33:05.000 Good luck with that.
00:33:06.000 This shit's America.
00:33:09.000 I agree with Jeff wholeheartedly.
00:33:12.000 It's also like what he said about the instant you see a comic from, even if they're in England or South Africa, you immediately have that kinship.
00:33:21.000 You're a comedian.
00:33:22.000 You ever watch Comedians in Cars when Chris and Jerry do it?
00:33:26.000 I've never watched it.
00:33:27.000 Oh, it's great.
00:33:27.000 I mean, I like some of the interviews that he does, but Chris and Jerry have a moment where they're talking about going to a party and seeing each other, and Chris comes up to Jerry and just goes, Comedian!
00:33:39.000 You know?
00:33:40.000 They're the only two people that know each other.
00:33:42.000 And it's like, that's the kinship that I think you have as a comic.
00:33:47.000 But I forget what we're talking about.
00:33:48.000 How did we get on this?
00:33:48.000 Well, we're just talking about guys giving you shit.
00:33:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:33:51.000 I mean, that's the best part.
00:33:53.000 It's just like motherfuckers being like, you bombing motherfuckers.
00:33:57.000 You know?
00:33:58.000 Yeah.
00:33:58.000 I love it.
00:33:59.000 I love it.
00:33:59.000 New York is special in that way.
00:34:01.000 New York's extra mean because it's cold.
00:34:03.000 Oh, it's fucking brutal.
00:34:04.000 That's what it is.
00:34:05.000 LA out here, people are, first of all, they're trying to get acting gigs.
00:34:08.000 They're kissing ass and they're being fake.
00:34:10.000 And then on top of that, it's warm all the time.
00:34:12.000 Did you start in...
00:34:13.000 Where'd you start?
00:34:14.000 I started in Boston.
00:34:14.000 Boston, right.
00:34:15.000 Okay.
00:34:16.000 Boston, New York, L.A. But I've been to L.A. I've been, I mean, if you wanted to look at it on paper, although I always consider myself a Boston comic, I'm more of an L.A. comic than anything.
00:34:26.000 I've been out here since 94. Oh, shit.
00:34:28.000 I was thinking about it the other day.
00:34:29.000 You're a 30-year guy.
00:34:31.000 Yeah, 30 years.
00:34:32.000 30 years in stand-up.
00:34:33.000 That's a long time, man.
00:34:35.000 It's your life.
00:34:36.000 Your whole life as a human.
00:34:37.000 You said you were on stage at college in 1990. I was four.
00:34:41.000 Yeah, is it crazy?
00:34:42.000 I think it was 92. Now that I'm thinking.
00:34:45.000 Yeah, somewhere around 92. But either way, it's a long-ass time.
00:34:49.000 And the crazy thing is, dude, you still keep learning.
00:34:52.000 Like, you still keep learning.
00:34:54.000 Like, I'll still have a weird set, and I'll go, ah, why did I do it that way?
00:34:58.000 Or I'll have this idea in my head, let me just flip this around, and it'll fuck the whole joke up.
00:35:03.000 I'm like, ah, why did I say rescue first?
00:35:06.000 I should've said that later.
00:35:08.000 God damn it.
00:35:09.000 That goes just go back to how much work this shit is, where it's just that you forget how fucking much time you gotta invest.
00:35:16.000 I got two new babies right now.
00:35:17.000 Not real babies.
00:35:18.000 I have real kids, but I have two new comedy babies.
00:35:22.000 Even better.
00:35:22.000 And I'm watering them.
00:35:23.000 Yeah.
00:35:24.000 Like right now, they're like, ooh, I gotta give them some light.
00:35:26.000 I gotta make sure they get the right fertilizer.
00:35:28.000 Like right now, I have two bits.
00:35:30.000 One bit that's one day old.
00:35:33.000 I did it yesterday for the first time.
00:35:34.000 I've been working on it for a couple weeks.
00:35:36.000 I knew there was some life to it.
00:35:37.000 Yeah.
00:35:37.000 And I sat down, I wrote it out, and I said, okay, I'm gonna freeball this shit last night.
00:35:41.000 What's your process?
00:35:43.000 I have, over the last three or four years, actually five, since I did my Comedy Central special in 2014, I decided to change my process right before that, because I decided that I needed to do more specials,
00:36:00.000 because I went from, I did one in 2009 that I really liked, then I did one in 2012 that I half-assed.
00:36:07.000 And then I said, okay.
00:36:08.000 Because I wasn't at the store anymore, and I wasn't doing weekly sets.
00:36:13.000 So then I realized, okay, there's a very distinct process in terms of the work that you have to do.
00:36:18.000 First of all, you have to go up a lot.
00:36:20.000 You have to go up at least three or four days a week, and I would like to go multiple times a night, and I'd like to go to different environments.
00:36:29.000 Not just the store.
00:36:30.000 I'd like to do the improv.
00:36:32.000 I'd like to do the ice house.
00:36:34.000 I'd like to do different environments.
00:36:35.000 Mm-hmm.
00:36:36.000 Then, I have to write-write.
00:36:38.000 Like, sit in front of a computer and write.
00:36:40.000 And I like to do it high, and I like to do it sober.
00:36:43.000 I like to do it both ways.
00:36:45.000 And George Carlin had an interesting method that I think I'm starting to adopt, because I've been doing it a lot lately, even though it's subconscious, where I write out concepts sober, and then I fire up.
00:36:56.000 Then I spark up a joint, and then I go over it again when I'm high.
00:37:01.000 Like, the structure's already there.
00:37:03.000 And then I'll start putting the funny.
00:37:05.000 Then, after the writing part, there's like a lot of going over it and thinking about it.
00:37:11.000 I try to give it a little life before I bring it to the stage.
00:37:15.000 Then when I bring it to the stage, I write it out on paper.
00:37:18.000 I have to write it out on paper because that's how I remember where my bullet points are.
00:37:22.000 Then recording, always.
00:37:24.000 And then review of the recording.
00:37:26.000 Then rewriting after the review of the recording.
00:37:29.000 This process is like, this is my process.
00:37:32.000 And when I do it that way, I feel better.
00:37:35.000 I feel excited.
00:37:36.000 Like last night I came home.
00:37:37.000 I wrote until 2.30 in the morning.
00:37:38.000 I came home at 12.30.
00:37:40.000 I wrote for two hours.
00:37:41.000 And by the time I'm falling asleep in front of my laptop, I shut the laptop.
00:37:44.000 I know I'm done.
00:37:45.000 But I feel good.
00:37:46.000 I'm getting it in.
00:37:47.000 I know it's happening.
00:37:49.000 Like this is all live shit.
00:37:50.000 Working out.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, and I go to bed.
00:37:52.000 I feel good.
00:37:53.000 I go to bed.
00:37:53.000 I'm like, yes.
00:37:55.000 I'm like, this is alive.
00:37:56.000 This bitch is alive.
00:37:57.000 And you wake up and it's the first thing you think about.
00:37:59.000 Like, oh yeah, I got this.
00:38:00.000 I got this new bit.
00:38:02.000 Last night.
00:38:03.000 I did it for the first time last night.
00:38:04.000 And it did well at the comedy store, but then it crushed at the improv.
00:38:07.000 I'm like, woo, this motherfucker's alive.
00:38:09.000 What was the bit?
00:38:10.000 The bit is about old people getting STDs at nursing homes.
00:38:15.000 Fuck yes.
00:38:16.000 That is a phenomenon.
00:38:17.000 It's a new thing.
00:38:19.000 It's a new thing that's happening.
00:38:20.000 Why not?
00:38:21.000 I mean, just fucking throw your dick around if you're 85 years old.
00:38:24.000 Exactly.
00:38:25.000 Because no one needs condoms.
00:38:26.000 You ain't getting pregnant.
00:38:27.000 Exactly.
00:38:28.000 Exactly.
00:38:30.000 But then there's this other bit that I'm working on as well that's a little bit older about the dude from the missionary that got shot up by the arrows by the uncontacted tribe.
00:38:40.000 Of course.
00:38:41.000 My people did that.
00:38:42.000 That's what happens, though.
00:38:44.000 They came from Africa.
00:38:44.000 They lived in an Indian island.
00:38:47.000 But they immigrated from Africa 60,000 years ago.
00:38:51.000 Uncontacted tribe.
00:38:52.000 But the point being that the process, for me, it's the most important thing, I think.
00:38:57.000 Out of all this stuff, what it's really about is about focus and attention.
00:39:01.000 Focus and attention, thinking about that.
00:39:03.000 But the work, in terms of breaking it down, there's a bunch of things that I think comedians don't do that they really should do.
00:39:11.000 Mm-hmm.
00:39:11.000 And the number one thing is writing.
00:39:14.000 Actual writing writing.
00:39:16.000 Like sitting in front of a computer or a notebook and writing.
00:39:19.000 Most comedians like to just have a bit and they work it out on stage and they know how it worked and they improve it the next set.
00:39:25.000 And especially if you're doing the New York City trip where you're doing the cellar and then you're doing the stand and then you're doing all these different sets all around town and you're doing little short 10 minute sets here and there.
00:39:36.000 It's easy to just kind of keep working on it.
00:39:38.000 Just keep working on it.
00:39:39.000 But I think that it's critical to actually sit alone with the material and just look at it.
00:39:46.000 Look at it and try to go, how can I make this quicker?
00:39:49.000 What's a sneakier way to do this?
00:39:51.000 Or what else is in this that I'm missing?
00:39:53.000 I think that for me, I write now.
00:39:56.000 I just started doing...
00:39:57.000 Up until probably a year ago...
00:40:00.000 Maybe eight months ago, I was of the brain where I was like, I'll write a note, I'll write a bullet point or whatever, and I'll try to work it out.
00:40:07.000 And then I'll write something that I think is interesting as a joke.
00:40:11.000 But I saw, you know, opening for Aziz, working with Hassan, like working with people that are like crushing it.
00:40:18.000 Their process is like, they're maniacs.
00:40:22.000 Like you, where it's just like, yes, I have a codified process.
00:40:25.000 This is exactly how I'm going to do it.
00:40:27.000 This is what's worked for like 10, 15 years, however long I've been doing it.
00:40:31.000 And once I saw like that process, I'm like, oh, these motherfuckers, I think I work hard, but these guys work fucking crazy hard.
00:40:38.000 And it's like sort of emulate that process of like, I got to set aside at least 20, 30 minutes a day where I'm like literally right.
00:40:44.000 Even if it's the same thing over and over, it's just like, Yeah.
00:41:01.000 Yeah.
00:41:01.000 Yeah.
00:41:10.000 And it's all repetition now.
00:41:11.000 You've got to repeat the process to make it, otherwise this is a thing you did once.
00:41:15.000 And so now that's what I'm starting to do now.
00:41:17.000 Just physically fucking getting up and be like, okay, I've got to write this bit out.
00:41:21.000 Even if it's a bit I've done a billion times.
00:41:22.000 There's something in there that I've got to figure out.
00:41:25.000 Yeah, another thing to do that really works well to sort of get it in your head is a cork board.
00:41:31.000 To have a big old bulletin board and put index cards on that are the titles of your bits.
00:41:36.000 Mm-hmm.
00:41:37.000 And then I would put like index cards underneath it that are like the bullet points of that bit.
00:41:41.000 Oh, kind of like a storyboard for like a movie kind of shit.
00:41:43.000 Yeah, and you step back and look at them and then try to see if they make sense in order.
00:41:47.000 Like maybe I should flip it around.
00:41:49.000 Maybe I should do the bit about the guy getting bit by the dog before I do the bit about the monkey.
00:41:53.000 Yeah.
00:41:56.000 The difference between being bit by a monkey.
00:41:58.000 Maybe it's better to introduce this distrust of animals in this way.
00:42:04.000 Who knows?
00:42:05.000 It's about attention, though.
00:42:07.000 That's the thing.
00:42:08.000 It's attention and focus.
00:42:09.000 And these guys that you're saying that work really hard, it's not a coincidence that those guys are killing it.
00:42:13.000 Yeah.
00:42:13.000 I mean, there's something to it.
00:42:15.000 And there's also the recognition when you do start killing it.
00:42:19.000 Like, oh shit, this is rare.
00:42:21.000 Like, I'm in a rare spot.
00:42:22.000 I'm filling up these gigantic places.
00:42:24.000 People are coming out to see me.
00:42:25.000 I'm doing Netflix specials.
00:42:27.000 You gotta work harder now.
00:42:28.000 Yeah.
00:42:28.000 You gotta keep it up.
00:42:29.000 You gotta keep it up and you gotta realize that you are...
00:42:32.000 Like, Bill Burr said something once that I think was really, really...
00:42:36.000 Like, dead on the money.
00:42:37.000 He said, I know what it's like to be disappointed by someone that you go to see.
00:42:42.000 Like, you go to see a band.
00:42:44.000 He goes, I remember going to see a band when I was a kid and they half-ass it.
00:42:47.000 And, you know, like, you feel fucked over.
00:42:49.000 He goes, I don't ever want to do that to my fans.
00:42:50.000 Yeah.
00:42:51.000 I was like, aha.
00:42:52.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:42:53.000 Like, realize that you used to be a fan.
00:42:55.000 And I'll think of your fans as, like, how you would experience you.
00:42:59.000 They don't want someone phoning it in.
00:43:01.000 Yeah.
00:43:02.000 You know?
00:43:02.000 Yeah.
00:43:02.000 That's their night.
00:43:04.000 Right.
00:43:04.000 That is their night.
00:43:05.000 They came out to see someone they love, and it's like, you gotta fucking earn that love almost.
00:43:09.000 Yeah.
00:43:10.000 Yeah, and tickets are expensive, and they had to work to get those tickets, and a lot of people are doing jobs they fucking hate, and cutting back on other things to have enough money to go out and have a few drinks.
00:43:18.000 Yeah.
00:43:20.000 Yeah, there's a responsibility to it.
00:43:22.000 But there's also a lot of people that try to skirt that responsibility because the pressure of that responsibility is kind of overwhelming.
00:43:28.000 You think about it, it makes you nervous, and you just start, you fuck off, and you half-ass it.
00:43:32.000 Like, I'll be fine, man.
00:43:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43:34.000 But that's like college, right?
00:43:36.000 It's like cramming for tests.
00:43:37.000 It's like there's a lot of people that study all year long, and there's a lot of people that half-ass it up until the last minute, and then they just try to shove it all in all at once.
00:43:44.000 It's a weird kind of confidence that you need or delusional.
00:43:48.000 Delusional.
00:43:49.000 Delusional confidence where you're like, I'll be fine.
00:43:51.000 And I admit, I've done that a few times where I've just been like, fuck it, I'll work this out.
00:43:56.000 It'll be straight.
00:43:57.000 But the times where I've fucking sat and been like, this is the bit I gotta do.
00:44:01.000 I gotta make sure I hit it to the point where I'll just bring the notebook on stage and just be like, okay, I gotta make sure this goes the way I want it to go.
00:44:07.000 This is an old expression, how you do anything is how you do everything.
00:44:11.000 Or how you do everything is how you do anything.
00:44:13.000 And there's something to that, too.
00:44:16.000 There's something to not allowing yourself to think of yourself as someone who's a fuck-up.
00:44:21.000 Yeah.
00:44:22.000 Because as soon as you think, you say, I'm just a fuck-up.
00:44:24.000 You get that in your head, man.
00:44:26.000 And that's like the default setting, almost.
00:44:28.000 Where it's like, that's easy to do.
00:44:30.000 Human beings are like, I think people are hardwired to work.
00:44:34.000 But it's also very easy to just not do that and believe that it'll be fine or fuck this up.
00:44:41.000 It's a pressure alleviator because you put these expectations on yourself of success and there's a lot of pressure involved in meeting those expectations.
00:44:50.000 And one of the best pressure relievers is just fucking up so you lower your own personal expectations.
00:44:56.000 People drinking, doing all that kind of shit.
00:44:58.000 Well, just sabotaging your life.
00:45:00.000 There's a lot of people that will sabotage their life.
00:45:02.000 They start getting some success, and then the panic overwhelms them, and they'll just start taking pills or go fucking crazy.
00:45:09.000 I'm going to lose this.
00:45:10.000 I'm going to fuck it up anyway.
00:45:11.000 Yeah, I know that mentality.
00:45:12.000 It's really normal.
00:45:13.000 Yeah.
00:45:14.000 The psychological mindfuck that goes on when you're attempting to do anything, whether it's stand-up comedy, or I guess it would probably be the same with almost any art form.
00:45:25.000 Especially open-ended art form where you don't have a boss who's telling you, hey, you know, Namesh, you gotta get this fucking project in at 3 o'clock.
00:45:31.000 Yeah.
00:45:32.000 You know, like, if...
00:45:33.000 That's the crazy thing.
00:45:34.000 You forget, or what people don't know, is that comedy is the most entrepreneurial endeavor there is.
00:45:41.000 And that's why everyone thinks they can do it, because there's no capital investment.
00:45:46.000 It's all just mental investment and hard work.
00:45:49.000 Well, everybody thinks they can do it because they do most of it.
00:45:52.000 See, most of it is just talking.
00:45:54.000 So I can talk.
00:45:55.000 I can talk.
00:45:56.000 How come I can't talk like that?
00:45:57.000 I've made people laugh.
00:45:58.000 I can do it.
00:45:59.000 I'm funny at the office.
00:46:00.000 Dude, I'm funny all the time.
00:46:02.000 I'm going to do stand-up.
00:46:03.000 Like, how many people have you heard say, I think I'm thinking about doing stand-up, and you're like, oh, God.
00:46:08.000 I'm like, good luck, man.
00:46:10.000 You know, because...
00:46:11.000 Some people, I'm like, I know they have the work ethic to do whatever the fuck.
00:46:14.000 If my friends were super successful in most other endeavors, like that they do, like finance or doctors or whatever, apply the same work ethic to comedy, they might be successful if they're funny.
00:46:26.000 But a lot of people think they're funny and then just forget that fucking, the work part, where it's just like, yo, fuck, this is slave shit.
00:46:34.000 And there's no one whipping you.
00:46:37.000 No one but yourself.
00:46:38.000 Yeah, it's just, yo, get the fucking work done.
00:46:41.000 It's also, you're the writer, the producer, and you're the actor.
00:46:45.000 You're the person who does the whole thing.
00:46:48.000 The marketing expert, you gotta know.
00:46:49.000 All of the above.
00:46:50.000 Yeah, it's all fucking you.
00:46:52.000 It's a weird gig, and you have to be a self-starter, because if you're not the type of person that knows how to motivate yourself and get out of bed and get things done, you'll just fucking lay around until three in the afternoon, then you'll go eat a sub and have a cup of coffee, and then, ah, my set's in two hours, I think I'm gonna take a nap.
00:47:08.000 It'll be fun.
00:47:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:09.000 And then you feel like you did something because you wrote some shit in your moleskin right before you went up.
00:47:13.000 Yeah, it was fun, man.
00:47:14.000 I'm doing a lot of writing lately.
00:47:17.000 One moleskin, three years.
00:47:19.000 Yeah, with fucking ten words on it.
00:47:22.000 Yeah.
00:47:22.000 Yeah, it's a...
00:47:24.000 There's no fucking structure to it either in terms of, like, there's no education that you can get other than self-education.
00:47:31.000 You can't go to...
00:47:33.000 If you want to learn how to play the cello, you can take lessons.
00:47:36.000 Someone will teach you how.
00:47:37.000 I mean, there's a real clear process between, you know, being a symphony violinist.
00:47:43.000 You know, like, going to school, getting an education in music, becoming a symphony violinist, there's auditions.
00:47:47.000 Being Asian.
00:47:48.000 Yeah, that helps.
00:47:49.000 LAUGHTER There's a lot to it.
00:47:53.000 That is offensive!
00:47:54.000 Get off this stage!
00:47:57.000 You said something about an ethnicity, it must be bad.
00:48:00.000 I mean, there's no real clear process to becoming a stand-up comedian.
00:48:04.000 It's just, everybody's like, what do you do?
00:48:06.000 You go to an open mic, figure it out.
00:48:08.000 You're on your own.
00:48:09.000 Everybody just wants you to get it.
00:48:11.000 Tell me how you go from doing comedy to becoming a writer for SNL. Is there a shortcut?
00:48:17.000 Like, what's...
00:48:17.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:48:18.000 If I call this number and say abracadabra.
00:48:20.000 This is Lorne's number.
00:48:22.000 You tell him one joke, and if he laughs, you're hired.
00:48:25.000 Then you're in.
00:48:27.000 There's no way to teach someone how to be a comic, either.
00:48:32.000 That's the other thing.
00:48:33.000 The way you do jokes is different than the way...
00:48:36.000 Jamie would do jokes or different than the way, you know, fucking Judah Freelander would do jokes.
00:48:41.000 Everybody's different, man.
00:48:42.000 And there's no one who's right.
00:48:44.000 Like, if you went over Judah Freelander's act and went, no, man, you're doing this shit all wrong.
00:48:50.000 These gotta have actual punchlines.
00:48:51.000 You're just saying a bunch of shit that's not true.
00:48:53.000 You gotta stop this.
00:48:56.000 You know what I mean?
00:48:57.000 It's...
00:48:58.000 Judas is very fucking good.
00:49:00.000 He's hilarious.
00:49:01.000 He's the man.
00:49:01.000 He's hilarious, but his act is uniquely him.
00:49:04.000 You could never teach anybody how to do that.
00:49:06.000 No.
00:49:07.000 He had to figure that act out on his own.
00:49:10.000 He's developed it so well.
00:49:11.000 I think with comedy, the crazy shit is...
00:49:15.000 Is that everyone thinks they could do it in the sense that, like, oh, I could tell a joke, and I could...
00:49:21.000 Sure, a lot of people can tell a joke.
00:49:24.000 My mom can tell a joke.
00:49:25.000 Everyone can tell a joke, because it's written and shit, but it's so hard to cultivate...
00:49:31.000 Who you are, because you're also doing that.
00:49:33.000 Yeah.
00:49:34.000 You're like trying to figure out, oh, I got a bunch of fucking insane shit in my brain, and this is how I think it, and I got to figure out how I'm going to say it.
00:49:41.000 That's not necessarily how everyone else would say it, but this is how I feel about it, and I'm going to say it that way.
00:49:46.000 And then you have to take into account the economy of words.
00:49:48.000 You want to sneak it up on people.
00:49:50.000 You want to get the idea into their head before they've figured it out on their own.
00:49:54.000 Yeah.
00:49:55.000 So like, boom, like it pops them, like, ah!
00:49:57.000 Like, that's right!
00:49:59.000 Yeah.
00:50:00.000 It's like a little race.
00:50:02.000 You have to figure out a way to introduce it in a way that's unique and captivating and entertaining, but also quick enough to get into their brain before they figure out where you're going.
00:50:12.000 Because the worst thing is when you see a guy on stage and you're like, oh, I know where this is going.
00:50:16.000 And then he gets there.
00:50:17.000 And then a few people go, ha, ha, ha, ha, because they're fucking stupid.
00:50:21.000 What took so long, man?
00:50:22.000 I was there yesterday, dog.
00:50:24.000 Yeah, I saw it coming from the moment you...
00:50:26.000 Unless they can say it and you see it coming and it still hits you because it's so good.
00:50:30.000 It's so stupid.
00:50:31.000 That just has to be really good writing and a good delivery and a good idea.
00:50:36.000 You know, but it's also...
00:50:39.000 On the other hand, I mean, we're talking about how hard it is.
00:50:41.000 It's also the most fun shit of all time when it works.
00:50:44.000 When it pops off.
00:50:46.000 When you have a new bit, and you have that pause right before you deliver, and you're like, and I told him, that's not real.
00:50:54.000 And then everyone goes, bah!
00:50:56.000 Oh, I gotta hear the beginning of this now.
00:50:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:50:58.000 It's like you hit these punchlines and the whole audience laughs and roars and they're having a good time and it's one of the greatest feelings in life.
00:51:08.000 It's because you know but you don't know until it comes out of your mouth and you're like, oh, look what I did there.
00:51:16.000 Well, it's also you're making people feel good.
00:51:19.000 There's something about looking out.
00:51:20.000 You go to the improv last night, there's 190 people in that room, and you're looking out into the audience, and all these people are having a great time.
00:51:27.000 They're laughing and having so much fun.
00:51:30.000 I got all your numbers.
00:51:32.000 I got all your numbers.
00:51:33.000 You know what I mean?
00:51:34.000 I feel you.
00:51:35.000 I know why you're laughing at this.
00:51:38.000 I know why you're not laughing at something.
00:51:40.000 I know...
00:51:41.000 Who you are.
00:51:42.000 A little aspect of who you are because you're laughing at this bit and what you've been through.
00:51:46.000 And you're giving them a good feeling.
00:51:48.000 You're giving them a good thing.
00:51:50.000 It's a good exchange.
00:51:51.000 They came to see you.
00:51:52.000 They sat down.
00:51:54.000 They're willing to let you talk in front of a microphone raised above them on a stage.
00:51:59.000 This is a very unique arrangement.
00:52:02.000 Inhuman beings.
00:52:03.000 Yeah.
00:52:04.000 That this person, like, please welcome Jamie Vernon.
00:52:07.000 He goes up on the stage, gets up there, hey everybody, and it's an exchange.
00:52:12.000 It's a unique contract where you're like, okay, I'm going to give this person who has a microphone 10 minutes of my time, my precious time, and in that 10 minutes, you've got to make me feel better about my life.
00:52:25.000 That's nothing, or escape my life, or whatever it is people are seeking.
00:52:29.000 Well, you're making them feel good.
00:52:31.000 Like, when I go to see a comic and they kill.
00:52:33.000 Like, say, Dave Attell goes on stage and he's killing.
00:52:36.000 I'm feeling better because of his laughs.
00:52:40.000 Because of his jokes.
00:52:41.000 When he's cracking jokes about things, I'm like, I feel good.
00:52:45.000 It gets in your body.
00:52:47.000 Like, they're giving you a little drug.
00:52:49.000 Yeah, I mean, we're drug dealers.
00:52:52.000 Look, if you could get a drug, if you could go to the 7-Eleven and it was an over-the-counter thing, we could just buy some laughs.
00:52:58.000 Why are you saying 7-Eleven, man?
00:52:59.000 I don't know.
00:53:00.000 It's a convenience store.
00:53:02.000 That could have been a big faux pas.
00:53:04.000 I'm offended.
00:53:06.000 Okay.
00:53:07.000 Store 24. I'll go back to Boston.
00:53:09.000 But if you could buy something over-the-counter and it was a laughter drug, we could just take a pill and everything would be hilarious and funny.
00:53:18.000 Like, God, everybody would take that.
00:53:19.000 Yeah.
00:53:20.000 It's the greatest feeling ever.
00:53:21.000 Mm-hmm.
00:53:22.000 You laugh at something and you think it's really funny?
00:53:25.000 And nothing happens to you?
00:53:26.000 Yeah.
00:53:26.000 There's no negative side effects?
00:53:28.000 Nothing happens.
00:53:28.000 Nothing wrong.
00:53:28.000 Your girl might be mad at you if you laugh at something you're not supposed to laugh at.
00:53:31.000 What are you going to do?
00:53:33.000 Yeah, that's funny, man.
00:53:35.000 You know?
00:53:35.000 When you see girls getting upset and guys laughing.
00:53:39.000 Even last night, you could see the couples, and I told a joke, and I could see what girl is looking at what guy versus what guy is just laughing it up.
00:53:50.000 I have a fiancé now, but we got engaged three or four weeks ago, and I do this bit about her where I'm just like...
00:53:58.000 One night she got mad at me because I closed the door too loud because she was sleeping and I was drunk and I came home and I just accidentally closed the door and I was like that's how you like the bit is I say you know there's two ways to close the door as a man there's a regular way just close it like you've been taught your whole life and then there's another way if you live with your girlfriend you come home late she's sleeping you got to turn the doorknob push it into the frame and then release it so it doesn't make a noise or your relationship might end and you see guys just go and girls going we told you That's how you gotta do
00:54:28.000 it.
00:54:28.000 I'm just like, that, to me, is like the best, where it's like, I know everything that these motherfuckers are going through in this fucking moment.
00:54:35.000 And they're gonna go home and talk about, see, I told you that the door shit was too loud.
00:54:42.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:54:43.000 That's the fucking, that's my favorite part of doing any bit, where it's like, you could see a couple just react to some shit.
00:54:50.000 Well, I feel sorry for people that don't have a job where they can be creative.
00:54:54.000 I really do.
00:54:55.000 I think whatever you're doing, whatever it is, if you're a person who enjoys creating things, it's one of the most rewarding feelings of building something that wasn't there before, and then all of a sudden it's there, and you made it.
00:55:09.000 It's very hard.
00:55:11.000 Completing an act, if you start a set, have you recorded anything yet?
00:55:16.000 Like a special?
00:55:17.000 No, no, no.
00:55:18.000 I did a spot on Seth Meyers in July of last year.
00:55:22.000 That's your first?
00:55:23.000 My first on camera.
00:55:25.000 Oh, okay.
00:55:25.000 On TV then.
00:55:26.000 How was that?
00:55:26.000 Was it weird?
00:55:28.000 He seems like a nice guy.
00:55:29.000 Seth is the man.
00:55:30.000 I love Seth.
00:55:30.000 I met him before at Updates, so he came upstairs and would come hang out with us.
00:55:36.000 The show itself was great.
00:55:37.000 The process with the booker there was very simple because they're big fans of comedy.
00:55:43.000 Seth is obviously a fan of comedy, but the lady that books the show is also a big fan of comedy.
00:55:48.000 I was a bit nervous.
00:55:49.000 It was like my first time going on in front of like millions of people or whatever, whoever people watch that.
00:55:55.000 And I was just like, I gotta make sure that my writing and my jokes come off as fucking strong as possible.
00:56:01.000 And it went great.
00:56:02.000 You know, there's obviously some people trolls like talking shit on YouTube, but for the most part, everyone's like...
00:56:07.000 Ah, you keep reading those.
00:56:08.000 Dark, man.
00:56:10.000 It's so tough not to.
00:56:13.000 It's so tough.
00:56:14.000 Well, you're smart with the thing that you're doing with the Instagram where you delete it every day and then re-download it.
00:56:19.000 I gotta check if anyone's hit me up for a gig or some shit.
00:56:23.000 But otherwise, I'm just like, I fucking hate all of it.
00:56:26.000 Just don't look at it, man.
00:56:27.000 That's what I do.
00:56:28.000 I just don't...
00:56:29.000 I mean, you just develop habits.
00:56:31.000 But the problem is it's an itchy thing.
00:56:33.000 You get itchy.
00:56:35.000 Let me check real quick.
00:56:36.000 Take those times and just go over your notes.
00:56:39.000 When you get itchy and you want to look at your phone...
00:56:41.000 Who said this?
00:56:43.000 Someone said it really recently.
00:56:47.000 Oh, God.
00:56:48.000 I don't want to fuck it up.
00:56:50.000 Somebody said this in a tweet.
00:56:51.000 I want to say it was...
00:56:57.000 Ted Alexandro.
00:56:59.000 No.
00:57:00.000 Mark Normand.
00:57:01.000 It was Mark Normand.
00:57:02.000 He went up after...
00:57:04.000 I did talking about Columbia one night at the cellar, and he went up after me and immediately goes, I don't know why they're writing Nemesh up now.
00:57:11.000 He's been bombing for years.
00:57:13.000 Piece of shit.
00:57:16.000 It crushed.
00:57:17.000 Of course you did.
00:57:18.000 Norman's funny, man.
00:57:19.000 Oh, he's a man.
00:57:20.000 But he did a joke about how checking Twitter is like opening up an empty refrigerator and hoping that there's something new in there, and there never is.
00:57:31.000 You just go, fuck, let me check again.
00:57:33.000 There's nothing in there.
00:57:34.000 It's like that same feeling.
00:57:36.000 I botched his joke.
00:57:38.000 I ruined it.
00:57:38.000 But I got it.
00:57:39.000 But that is really what it is.
00:57:42.000 It's this weird compulsion.
00:57:44.000 Yeah.
00:57:45.000 This instantaneous gratification thing that you're getting off of some weird dopamine hit by touching that device and getting information to pop up, but it's not satisfying.
00:57:56.000 There's nothing there.
00:57:57.000 You ever been on safari?
00:57:59.000 A safari?
00:58:00.000 No.
00:58:01.000 In Africa, you mean?
00:58:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:02.000 No.
00:58:02.000 You gotta go.
00:58:03.000 I went in April.
00:58:04.000 I spent...
00:58:05.000 All my SNL money is gone on engagement ring and fucking...
00:58:08.000 And a safari?
00:58:10.000 Safari is expensive, and I don't mean to sound fucking...
00:58:12.000 Were you in one of those open-air Jeeps?
00:58:14.000 Yo, it's like...
00:58:16.000 That's when...
00:58:17.000 Up until like April...
00:58:18.000 I went in April, I was just like...
00:58:20.000 Not addicted to my phone, but using it too much, more or less.
00:58:23.000 But in Botswana, where we went, obviously there's no service or anything, and I'm just like, fuck this shit.
00:58:29.000 And the week, even just the week of not being on this thing, I was just like...
00:58:34.000 I feel so much better.
00:58:35.000 You can think.
00:58:37.000 Yeah.
00:58:37.000 And the whole time, you're in an open-air car and just like...
00:58:44.000 We're good to go.
00:58:55.000 Yeah, I hunt, and every year I do three or four trips where, like, for a week, I'm basically lost in the woods, disconnected.
00:59:05.000 It's the best.
00:59:06.000 Yeah.
00:59:06.000 It's the fucking best.
00:59:08.000 But what's interesting, even in the hunting world, a lot of people are, like, Instagramming while they're hunting, and they're doing Insta stories while they're out there in the forest.
00:59:16.000 Yeah.
00:59:16.000 It's good when there's no connection.
00:59:18.000 When there's no service and no connection, it's good.
00:59:21.000 You could just leave this shit away.
00:59:23.000 I broke my phone.
00:59:24.000 When I was in Hawaii, and I was on Lanai, which is kind of a remote island.
00:59:29.000 It's hard to get things there.
00:59:31.000 And so I just kept dropping my iPhone.
00:59:33.000 I dropped that shit like 10 times.
00:59:36.000 And I dropped it, and it just started making phone calls.
00:59:39.000 I would hold it up.
00:59:40.000 I would open up my contacts and go, watch this.
00:59:42.000 And I was showing my wife.
00:59:43.000 It just starts calling people.
00:59:45.000 And you hang up, and it starts calling another person.
00:59:47.000 Great bug.
00:59:48.000 It starts calling another person.
00:59:48.000 Hang up.
00:59:49.000 I just broke it.
00:59:50.000 It was just jacked.
00:59:51.000 And so I had to order a new one.
00:59:54.000 And then it got to a point where it wouldn't let me input my code and it wouldn't recognize my face.
00:59:59.000 It was like it was dead.
01:00:01.000 It was just fried.
01:00:03.000 It took three days to get one.
01:00:06.000 So for three days I had no phone.
01:00:08.000 And it was great.
01:00:09.000 It was great.
01:00:10.000 I felt better.
01:00:11.000 I felt better.
01:00:12.000 I was walking around.
01:00:13.000 But then I was like, I can't wait to get my phone.
01:00:15.000 But why?
01:00:16.000 I feel good without it.
01:00:18.000 Around people you love.
01:00:19.000 The people you need to reach.
01:00:22.000 You're not missing anything.
01:00:24.000 You're not missing anything, but you feel like you are.
01:00:26.000 I gotta check Twitter.
01:00:28.000 I gotta go on Instagram.
01:00:30.000 We're addicted to it to a point where it feels like cigarettes in the 50s.
01:00:35.000 Where it's like, no one Here it is, Mark Norman.
01:00:38.000 Social media is like looking in the fridge over and over.
01:00:40.000 You know there's nothing good, but you check it so many times that eventually you start consuming things you don't even like.
01:00:45.000 Yeah.
01:00:45.000 Oh, even better.
01:00:46.000 There we go.
01:00:47.000 Great tweet.
01:00:48.000 2,630 likes, son.
01:00:52.000 Mark is going to go up a lot now.
01:00:53.000 Yeah, probably.
01:00:55.000 But yeah, it's...
01:00:57.000 And my real fear is that this is one stage of a complete connection to electronics and to each other that's unhealthy and unproductive and unavoidable.
01:01:11.000 Because I don't think that we're going to end with...
01:01:13.000 Social media like Twitter and Instagram where it's like you just press a button get it it's gonna be Completely connected to your brain.
01:01:21.000 Yeah, we're gonna have that fairly soon I feel like within the next 10 years that's gonna be a normal thing that you could just pull up information Instantaneously it's almost like the the phone the other the watch thing feels almost like wearing a digital watch No, this is a regular watch.
01:01:36.000 This is my dad's rotto from like 1980 something Since they make such cool digital watches now, a lot of them look like that.
01:01:43.000 Yeah.
01:01:44.000 They look cool now.
01:01:45.000 Yeah, but that's, I think, the next step.
01:01:47.000 It's like, oh, I can just do this.
01:01:48.000 I don't even gotta...
01:01:49.000 What's the problem?
01:01:50.000 It's like you can't reach in your pocket to check your shit.
01:01:53.000 I got an iPhone watch, whatever the fuck they call that thing.
01:01:56.000 I watch, and I wore it twice.
01:01:58.000 Yeah.
01:01:59.000 I was like, what am I doing with this thing?
01:02:00.000 I don't even like it.
01:02:01.000 It buzzes.
01:02:02.000 Oh, okay, cool.
01:02:02.000 This person texted me.
01:02:03.000 You still gotta fucking go on this thing to say...
01:02:05.000 Yeah.
01:02:07.000 It's enough.
01:02:08.000 A phone is enough.
01:02:09.000 I mean, the only thing that's good for is your heart rate.
01:02:12.000 It monitors your heart rate when you run.
01:02:14.000 It's good for that.
01:02:15.000 Oh, the wrist thing?
01:02:16.000 Yeah.
01:02:16.000 Oh, very cool.
01:02:17.000 And it also logs the amount of time and miles that you put in and your heart rate variability and all that stuff.
01:02:23.000 There's some good aspects to it in terms of a fitness tracker.
01:02:26.000 But other than that, it's like...
01:02:29.000 To what end?
01:02:29.000 What are you doing?
01:02:30.000 Where's it going?
01:02:31.000 I don't run, so lucky for me.
01:02:33.000 When Elon was on the podcast, he was talking to me about his neural link thing that he's going to be coming out with.
01:02:39.000 He said back then, and this was, what was that, three months ago?
01:02:42.000 Just September, I think.
01:02:44.000 Yeah, somewhere around three months ago.
01:02:46.000 He said that they were going to be coming out with it within four to six months.
01:02:49.000 So that's any day now.
01:02:51.000 So I don't know what the fuck this is, but he said essentially it's going to open up the bandwidth between you and information.
01:02:58.000 It's going to radically change the way human beings access information.
01:03:05.000 It's like an internet thing?
01:03:07.000 He wouldn't tell me.
01:03:08.000 Oh my goodness.
01:03:08.000 That's all he would tell.
01:03:10.000 Neuralink?
01:03:11.000 Neuralink, yeah.
01:03:12.000 Because we were on air when he was saying it.
01:03:15.000 I oddly trust him to be a phenomenal, a net positive for the universe.
01:03:21.000 Oh, 100%.
01:03:22.000 You know, it's like Zuckerberg and other times, that's a net negative for us.
01:03:29.000 They are a lot of the reason why society has gone the way it has.
01:03:33.000 Because you can confirm whatever the fuck.
01:03:34.000 But Elon, I'm like, yeah, man, why not fucking build a car that you don't need any gasoline for?
01:03:40.000 Why not fucking send shit to this base?
01:03:43.000 I think he's a net positive force.
01:03:46.000 No, I'm 100% convinced he's a net positive.
01:03:48.000 I think he's a legitimate genius, and I don't think there's a whole lot of them.
01:03:52.000 I think Mark Zuckerberg is a smart guy who's very ambitious.
01:03:55.000 I think there's a big difference.
01:03:57.000 Zuckerberg's quote that I read recently, that what's good for the world is not necessarily good for Facebook.
01:04:03.000 I'm like, that's it!
01:04:04.000 Shut it down!
01:04:05.000 He said that?
01:04:06.000 Yep.
01:04:06.000 It's over.
01:04:07.000 Burn it to the ground.
01:04:09.000 Pull out.
01:04:10.000 Pull out.
01:04:10.000 Pull out.
01:04:12.000 What the fuck did you just say?
01:04:14.000 Bitch, how much money do you have?
01:04:15.000 Jesus Christ.
01:04:16.000 First of all, don't you have like 18 billion dollars?
01:04:18.000 How much more do you need, bitch?
01:04:20.000 You're sitting over here talking about what's good for Facebook?
01:04:23.000 It's not necessarily good for the world.
01:04:25.000 You got all the good.
01:04:26.000 You got all the good for 18 fucking hundred lifetimes.
01:04:30.000 Yeah, Jesus Christ.
01:04:31.000 He said that?
01:04:32.000 That's crazy.
01:04:33.000 Exactly.
01:04:34.000 My favorite Zuckerberg joke.
01:04:37.000 We were at Update, and this is when Zuckerberg is being grilled by Congress.
01:04:43.000 Yeah, when he's sipping water like this.
01:04:46.000 Yeah, and Chris Rock comes by, and he goes, you know what I didn't like about that trial?
01:04:51.000 There's nothing worse than watching someone being grilled by Congress when there's no stakes.
01:04:57.000 Nothing happens to Mark Zuckerberg even if this shit goes worse for him.
01:05:02.000 Nothing happens to that guy.
01:05:04.000 That's my fate.
01:05:05.000 You never think about it that way.
01:05:07.000 Nothing happens to him even if Facebook blows up.
01:05:11.000 Well, here's what could happen.
01:05:13.000 If Facebook...
01:05:16.000 If there was some sort of proof that they received some financial compensation to lean one way or the other.
01:05:26.000 Is that what's percolating right now?
01:05:29.000 No, but it could be.
01:05:31.000 This is what they were searching for.
01:05:32.000 What they were searching for is what they were trying to find out how is it that these Russian bots are able to disseminate propaganda so readily and so easily and so efficiently.
01:05:43.000 What are you doing to stop that?
01:05:46.000 How is all this stuff propagated?
01:05:48.000 Where is this coming from?
01:05:50.000 And the people that were asking were techno-ignorant.
01:05:54.000 And that was part of the problem.
01:05:55.000 Yeah, the Congress was like, Google makes the iPhone, right?
01:06:00.000 You see that shit recently?
01:06:01.000 They were asking to Google, they said, how come my niece has got bad words on her iPhone?
01:06:06.000 And someone has to tell them Google doesn't make the iPhone.
01:06:08.000 And the whole place roars like, bah!
01:06:11.000 When you can get Congress to laugh, like everybody's laughing at what a fucking idiot you are.
01:06:15.000 These are the people that are asking the questions.
01:06:17.000 That's terrifying.
01:06:18.000 Exactly.
01:06:18.000 You need people from like Aris Technica.
01:06:22.000 You need people from like, you know, CNET. You need people from, you need fucking techno guys.
01:06:29.000 Yeah.
01:06:29.000 People, men and women who really understand technology should be throwing those questions around.
01:06:34.000 Asians.
01:06:34.000 Yeah.
01:06:35.000 And people with autism.
01:06:37.000 You need people that really, truly understand what the complications are, what the ramifications are, and what they could have done to prevent these things.
01:06:48.000 I think that what happened with Facebook and what's happening with Twitter and a lot of these other things is no one anticipated the impact culturally they were going to have.
01:06:57.000 I was talking about this the other day with Sam Jay, maybe a few months ago, about how it's the democratization of information and how easy it is to pretend you know what you're talking about.
01:07:09.000 That's the majority of the problem.
01:07:11.000 Facebook, Twitter, all this shit.
01:07:13.000 Because it used to be you needed infrastructure to spread news.
01:07:18.000 You needed a fucking truck.
01:07:19.000 You needed a factory.
01:07:20.000 Now you don't even need pants.
01:07:22.000 You could just fucking...
01:07:23.000 You just gotta put like a weird fucking eagle on your website and it's like, this is the fucking news now.
01:07:28.000 You don't even have to have a website.
01:07:29.000 All you have to have is a popular Twitter account.
01:07:31.000 There's a lot of people out there that have popular Twitter accounts and when you go to their Twitter account and there's quite a few people that I follow that I don't follow.
01:07:39.000 What that means is I bookmark their page so they don't even know that I follow them because they're fucking insane.
01:07:45.000 I don't want them sending me DMs and I'll go and read their stuff and they are on there all day.
01:07:52.000 Yeah, man.
01:07:53.000 All day they're doing battle against the good and the bad, the dark forces and the light.
01:07:58.000 They're just fucking going after it.
01:08:00.000 And they develop these sort of news portal pages.
01:08:05.000 Yeah.
01:08:05.000 And you don't even know who the fuck these people are.
01:08:07.000 You don't know anything about them.
01:08:08.000 But their page, it's all battling.
01:08:11.000 And I follow people that are like hardcore right-wing people that are just battling the left.
01:08:15.000 They're hilarious.
01:08:16.000 Yeah.
01:08:16.000 It's so strange, man.
01:08:18.000 They're so silly.
01:08:18.000 And then I follow people that are hardcore lefties that are battling the right.
01:08:22.000 Everyone's a Nazi and everyone's alt-right.
01:08:25.000 You're alt-right for it.
01:08:27.000 It doesn't matter if you support every fucking single liberal principle there is.
01:08:32.000 The craziest shit about this whole Columbia shit is that I was featured on Breitbart.
01:08:41.000 They're finally like a brown dude.
01:08:44.000 I'm like, I cannot be...
01:08:46.000 I got emails from people at Fox News like, hey, do you want to come on this show?
01:08:50.000 They're like that Dinesh D'Souza guy, right?
01:08:52.000 Yeah, that fucking...
01:08:53.000 I hate that guy.
01:08:54.000 I was about to say something bad.
01:08:56.000 I just can't stand that motherfucker.
01:08:59.000 Well, he's the only brown guy that made it through.
01:09:01.000 Him and fucking Bobby Jindal.
01:09:03.000 They're trying to turn me into this motherfucker.
01:09:05.000 I'm like, I'm not coming on your fucking TV show so you can use me as your...
01:09:09.000 Everything's gone amok and PC... I wish free speech was under attack because some people need to shut the fuck up.
01:09:16.000 You know what I mean?
01:09:16.000 There's too much shit.
01:09:19.000 Everyone has a podcast.
01:09:21.000 You don't deserve to speak a lot of times.
01:09:25.000 It's crazy.
01:09:26.000 I used to tell everybody to get a podcast, but now I stopped.
01:09:30.000 Because, first of all, I don't think you can anymore.
01:09:33.000 I think over the last few years, it's gotten so saturated that it's almost impossible to break through.
01:09:39.000 Yeah.
01:09:40.000 On top of that, it's like some people...
01:09:43.000 You don't need everyone's opinion about it.
01:09:46.000 You should have to fucking work to develop, to have the right to have an opinion about some things.
01:09:53.000 Well, you definitely should...
01:09:56.000 Have a good opinion.
01:09:58.000 Yes.
01:09:58.000 It should be something well thought out.
01:10:00.000 Nuance.
01:10:00.000 There's no nuance anymore either.
01:10:02.000 Because everything's got to be black and white.
01:10:05.000 Especially with a lot of this younger generation where it's like, if something's not black and white, it goes fucking awry for them.
01:10:11.000 They want it to be black and white so they'll create a false narrative where it is black and white.
01:10:15.000 That's one thing you see a lot today where people pretend that someone is something and they do this reductionist thing where they boil it down to one thing.
01:10:24.000 Yeah.
01:10:24.000 You know, he went on stage and said anti-gay, anti-black jokes at Columbia.
01:10:31.000 This guy's a piece of shit alt-right fucking doorway.
01:10:34.000 He's a portal.
01:10:36.000 He's an Indian portal to the alt-right.
01:10:38.000 That's who you think I am?
01:10:40.000 You're a magic carpet to the alt-right.
01:10:43.000 Hey, man.
01:10:45.000 I wish I could just be offended all the time.
01:10:49.000 Yeah.
01:10:49.000 You can feel very hard to hurt my feelings.
01:10:51.000 Well, you're a comic.
01:10:52.000 Yeah, but it's just so crazy.
01:10:55.000 Find me a comic, it's easy to hurt their feelings, and they fucking suck.
01:10:57.000 They suck, yeah.
01:10:58.000 They have to.
01:10:59.000 It's fucking...
01:10:59.000 But what I was saying is, with this alt-right shit, everyone wants to put somebody in their own agenda.
01:11:06.000 This reductionist shit of just like, this is how I feel about it, and look at the points that make me seem smart and correct about this.
01:11:13.000 Yeah, and they're trying to do that online in front of everybody instead of like this internal examination of their actual feelings and how they really think about things and whether or not they make sense or whether or not it's objective.
01:11:24.000 Instead of that, they're broadcasting this in this sort of weird way that's at least...
01:11:30.000 Partially intentionally deceptive.
01:11:32.000 The acknowledgement that there is nuance.
01:11:38.000 Life is fucking complicated.
01:11:41.000 And ideas are complicated.
01:11:43.000 Especially ideas in terms of when you're talking about this cultural sort of battle that's going on right now.
01:11:52.000 They're attacking people who are clearly very left-wing.
01:11:58.000 But for not being left-wing enough.
01:12:00.000 They're running out of targets.
01:12:03.000 What bothered me was someone hit me up saying, you haven't spoke out against the white supremacists and people that are harassing this group and this blogger that's going off.
01:12:16.000 I'm like, first, of course I do not support any white supremacists or anybody fucking going after these kids for whatever reason.
01:12:25.000 What kids are they talking about?
01:12:27.000 The Asian American Alliance.
01:12:28.000 The Asian American Alliance posted some shit on Facebook and all these fucking crazy people have apparently been talking shit to them.
01:12:34.000 And I'm like, I don't condemn that action.
01:12:38.000 But second of all, does my mere existence not testify to the fact that I'm not pro- You're not pro-white supremacist?
01:12:47.000 Yeah, what the fuck?
01:12:48.000 Is my name Nicholas Patterson?
01:12:51.000 I'm fucking Nemesh Patel.
01:12:52.000 It's the most Indian motherfucking name I could think of.
01:12:55.000 Like, I'm going to call up someone at the KKK, like, hey, guys.
01:13:00.000 I'm on your side.
01:13:00.000 Yeah, thank you.
01:13:02.000 That is hilarious that you have not denounced white supremacists.
01:13:05.000 So they've decided that you haven't acted enough.
01:13:10.000 Sometimes there'll be a story online, and I'll get a tweet where someone say, your silence about this story is deafening.
01:13:16.000 What?
01:13:16.000 I was like, what fucking...
01:13:18.000 Bro, I don't even pay attention to half the shit.
01:13:20.000 I can't.
01:13:21.000 I can't keep up.
01:13:22.000 I cannot.
01:13:23.000 Someone had to tell me that that was happening before I was like, oh, okay, that's fucking whack.
01:13:29.000 I'll respond some way.
01:13:30.000 Also, I want to think about things before I respond.
01:13:33.000 Yeah.
01:13:33.000 You know, when the Louis C.K. thing went down, I got a lot of angry tweets.
01:13:38.000 One of them from a fucking journalist that I've done stories with.
01:13:41.000 I've done interviews with this guy before.
01:13:43.000 And he was talking shit about comedians that have not denounced Louis C.K. Yeah.
01:13:49.000 And I'm like, hey man, I, just like you, don't know what really happened.
01:13:53.000 I don't know the whole story.
01:13:54.000 I know what he said, and I know what she said.
01:13:57.000 And the whole thing seems to me like a big old clusterfuck.
01:14:01.000 Even...
01:14:01.000 Okay, let's put it this way.
01:14:03.000 Like, you can denounce his actions.
01:14:07.000 He said he did all this shit that he's been...
01:14:09.000 That's gross.
01:14:12.000 Yes.
01:14:12.000 And I think what he did was incorrect and wrong.
01:14:15.000 But the fact that, like, you should denounce that he should not be working again.
01:14:19.000 I'm like, you forget I'm also a comic.
01:14:22.000 And B, murderers make parole, dog.
01:14:24.000 Like, the fucking...
01:14:25.000 You got...
01:14:26.000 Where does it end almost?
01:14:28.000 There's some things that you should be way more upset about.
01:14:31.000 How about Hastert, the guy who's the Speaker of the House, who went to jail for fucking kids, and he molested a bunch of kids, and he only got 15 months.
01:14:40.000 What?
01:14:41.000 Yeah.
01:14:42.000 I didn't even know that.
01:14:43.000 That's crazy.
01:14:44.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:14:44.000 But meanwhile, everybody's ranting and railing about Louis C.K. Not that this diminishes what Louis C.K. did, but I'm saying there's some real horrors in the world.
01:14:53.000 And to choose to concentrate on a comedian who asked women, can I jerk off in front of you?
01:14:59.000 They said yes, and he did it.
01:15:01.000 He didn't hold anybody in a room against their will or force them to watch him.
01:15:07.000 What he did was just gross.
01:15:09.000 And he stopped doing it more than 10 years ago.
01:15:12.000 Right.
01:15:12.000 It's not good, but the fact that someone would think that I need to make a statement about it.
01:15:17.000 Like, bitch, I don't need to make a statement about anything.
01:15:19.000 I don't need to talk about anything I don't want to talk about.
01:15:22.000 Like, who are you?
01:15:24.000 It's so quick, we automatically, when I say we, I mean people at large, sort of assume the worst about a person immediately.
01:15:33.000 I think it's also this social media thing.
01:15:35.000 I don't think they really assume.
01:15:38.000 I think they just have this opportunity to express themselves in a way that they're going to get a reaction out of you.
01:15:42.000 This is the way to do it.
01:15:44.000 You know what's crazy is that we've been harping on this younger generation, but I've said some shit at Cellar and VU. Very anti-Trump shit.
01:15:55.000 And people have been like, like one night at VU, the sellers, one of their other clubs, I said, I forget what I said about Trump.
01:16:02.000 I basically fat shame him because I think he's a fat piece of shit.
01:16:05.000 But like, I said that in more articulate, in a joke form.
01:16:09.000 And some guy got up and was like, fuck this.
01:16:11.000 And it just bounced.
01:16:13.000 And I'm like, word dog, that's what you're mad about?
01:16:16.000 You're not mad about the fact that he is that?
01:16:19.000 That your president is a billionaire that doesn't use his money to just hire a personal trainer once in a while?
01:16:24.000 Like, an Adderall McDonald's diet is not the way you want your fucking president to be living his life, more or less.
01:16:30.000 And this person just got up and bounced and was just heated.
01:16:33.000 And I talked to him after, I was like, what?
01:16:35.000 What are you mad about?
01:16:37.000 So I think it's just- What did he say?
01:16:39.000 He was like, I don't like the words that you were using.
01:16:41.000 It's very crude.
01:16:42.000 Where's he from?
01:16:42.000 Nebraska?
01:16:43.000 Florida.
01:16:43.000 I was just like, look, man.
01:16:48.000 I didn't like the words you were using at the comedy cellar.
01:16:51.000 It was like vulgar.
01:16:52.000 I'm like, come on, man.
01:16:56.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:16:57.000 I feel like it's fixed.
01:16:58.000 Just have a safe space for comics.
01:17:01.000 There's a sign at the cellar now that says, swim at your own wrist.
01:17:04.000 You're coming down.
01:17:06.000 You're here to see us.
01:17:07.000 I'm not here to fucking sing and dance for you guys.
01:17:11.000 You guys are here.
01:17:12.000 This is an agreement that all you have to do is not laugh or laugh.
01:17:18.000 Well, it's also the people that are going down to see that stuff that like it expect you to do that kind of comedy.
01:17:25.000 Right.
01:17:26.000 They expect you to go hard.
01:17:27.000 Right.
01:17:27.000 That's what it's about.
01:17:28.000 If I go there and everybody's pulling back, all of a sudden I'm at the Tonight Show.
01:17:32.000 Yeah.
01:17:32.000 And all of a sudden I'm at a Jimmy Fallon monologue.
01:17:34.000 Like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:17:35.000 That's someone I came here for.
01:17:37.000 Right.
01:17:37.000 I came here to have a couple of drinks and hear some crazy shit from Greer Barnes.
01:17:40.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:42.000 I want to hear some real stand-up.
01:17:44.000 I don't want to hear this stupid shit.
01:17:46.000 People that can't handle some offensive stuff, you shouldn't be at a comedy club.
01:17:52.000 This is where people go to say offensive stuff.
01:17:56.000 It's like you don't want dirt in your hands and you're in a garden.
01:17:59.000 This is stupid.
01:18:00.000 Manage some expectations.
01:18:03.000 You know, just walk, like, hey.
01:18:04.000 But people politically, man, when you get into their, you know, their team, and you're shitting on their team, he's probably Republican.
01:18:10.000 Of course.
01:18:10.000 Probably has brain damage.
01:18:12.000 He's living in Florida.
01:18:13.000 There's probably something wrong with him.
01:18:14.000 Water's tough.
01:18:15.000 Everything's...
01:18:16.000 To me, it's like, it's like...
01:18:19.000 Politically, people are so like, that's part of their personality almost.
01:18:27.000 I've done a lot of political comedy.
01:18:30.000 And to me, it's like when you do that, you're almost talking to them as if their politics are their person.
01:18:38.000 And that's the kind of crazy thing.
01:18:41.000 My politics are not necessarily who I am as a human being.
01:18:45.000 I can...
01:18:48.000 We're good to go.
01:19:03.000 Yeah, it's an identity issue.
01:19:04.000 People find whatever team it is, whether it's progressive or conservative, and they just decide this is my identity, and they cloak themselves in it, and then they defend it.
01:19:15.000 And someone like yourself is saying jokes that...
01:19:18.000 Or contrary to that.
01:19:20.000 Yeah.
01:19:21.000 They just can't handle it.
01:19:21.000 I am talking shit about their quarterback.
01:19:23.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:24.000 Their quarterback.
01:19:24.000 Yeah, that quarterback is about to get fucking popped.
01:19:27.000 Yeah.
01:19:27.000 Jesus Christ, man.
01:19:28.000 He's about to get pulled off the field.
01:19:29.000 Jesus Christ, man.
01:19:31.000 Every day, it's like, he's still there, huh?
01:19:33.000 He's still there.
01:19:33.000 Dude, yeah.
01:19:34.000 I've never...
01:19:35.000 The fucking last two weeks, I never wanted more Trump to say something wild just so people would stop fucking...
01:19:42.000 Just so I'd stop seeing emails and fucking Google or it's about Nimesh Patel or whatever.
01:19:46.000 Just like...
01:19:47.000 Look, this guy's crazy, man.
01:19:49.000 Well, you shouldn't be Googling your name, first of all.
01:19:51.000 You definitely shouldn't be reading that stuff.
01:19:53.000 I deleted the Google alerts.
01:19:54.000 I deleted all that shit.
01:19:55.000 But yo, you know what's crazy?
01:19:56.000 My mom, once my mom, I didn't even tell my parents that that shit happened.
01:20:01.000 Oh, but they heard.
01:20:02.000 My dad works at a liquor store, and someone came in with a copy of the post, and on the second page is me.
01:20:10.000 He's like, that's your son, right?
01:20:12.000 And I was like, oh, fuck.
01:20:14.000 What did the post say?
01:20:15.000 Are they talking shit about you?
01:20:16.000 No, they were like, can you believe these fucking PC kids?
01:20:21.000 Good.
01:20:22.000 Dude, you're winning here.
01:20:23.000 And then...
01:20:25.000 And then I was like, it was still dead, because up until that point, everyone is sort of like, it's more just like pushing the narrative that everyone's kind of soft.
01:20:34.000 Thursday morning, like five days after it happened, I got a text from Lenny Marcus at like 8 o'clock in the morning saying, Hey man, you're trending on Yahoo!
01:20:44.000 I'm trending on Yahoo.
01:20:46.000 You're trending on Yahoo.
01:20:46.000 I'm number one on Yahoo News Thursday morning.
01:20:50.000 And then that day, my mom texts me saying, hey, what happened at Columbia?
01:20:55.000 I said, I didn't get in.
01:20:57.000 That was the only thing I said.
01:20:58.000 And then she calls me and she's telling me, what did you do?
01:21:01.000 Is your career okay?
01:21:02.000 I'm like, I'm fine.
01:21:04.000 These kids, they didn't like the joke I said.
01:21:07.000 And the real thing I didn't tell them is that even for them to get stand-up has been such an uphill battle.
01:21:14.000 For your parents?
01:21:15.000 Yeah, just to be like, what are you doing?
01:21:16.000 For the two years that I was unemployed and living at home and going to the city every night, because I'm from Jersey, so I would go to the city every night to do stand-up.
01:21:24.000 They were like, what the fuck is, what are you doing with your life?
01:21:28.000 And so even up until, they didn't come see me until seven years in.
01:21:33.000 That's good.
01:21:33.000 Yeah.
01:21:34.000 That's good.
01:21:34.000 You can get your legs under you.
01:21:35.000 Yeah, that brought him to the cellar.
01:21:37.000 It was dope, you know?
01:21:38.000 My parents came to see me, like, a year in.
01:21:40.000 They still think I suck.
01:21:42.000 Oh, shit.
01:21:42.000 Oh, shit, dude.
01:21:43.000 Bro, you can't do that, dawg.
01:21:45.000 They came to see me.
01:21:47.000 They came to see us still doing open mics, man.
01:21:50.000 Joe, we're gonna fix your room up again.
01:21:53.000 What are you doing?
01:21:54.000 Cleaning the basement out.
01:21:55.000 This is not gonna work.
01:21:56.000 Yeah, but so when my mom saw it, she called me and she's like, what happened?
01:22:00.000 I'm like, my career is going to be fine.
01:22:01.000 Don't worry about any of that kind of shit.
01:22:03.000 Better than ever.
01:22:03.000 This is a boost, mom.
01:22:04.000 Yeah, this would be a positive thing that happens.
01:22:08.000 I'm going through some shit now just from like fucking my own hoisted by my own petard situation, like reading the news and all this kind of shit.
01:22:15.000 This would be a positive thing.
01:22:17.000 And I didn't expect them to sign a codec.
01:22:19.000 They got it.
01:22:20.000 And I was like, that's the end.
01:22:21.000 That was just the facts of what happened.
01:22:23.000 Well, you've got some things on your side.
01:22:25.000 You've got tangible success to the point where it seems like you've got some momentum there.
01:22:31.000 It's going to be hard to stop that train with anything other than a real catastrophe.
01:22:34.000 Oh, yeah.
01:22:34.000 I mean, they also know that I haven't—it's also very apparent in every article that was, like, printed or whatever that most people are on my side, so to speak.
01:22:44.000 And I'm 100% confident I did nothing wrong as a human being or a comic, you know?
01:22:51.000 Yeah.
01:22:55.000 Would have been a thing I did, but I was like, I know these people.
01:22:58.000 These are my fucking brethren.
01:22:59.000 Like, I fucking took calculus with you people.
01:23:02.000 Like, I know the kind of shit that me and my Asian friends and my Indian friends would talk when we were in fucking school.
01:23:09.000 Like, this is fucking light work.
01:23:12.000 And so, maybe that.
01:23:15.000 But even that, I'm like, no, fuck that.
01:23:16.000 I'm not going to fucking think about that going awry, you know what I mean?
01:23:21.000 But yeah, it was crazy.
01:23:24.000 Yeah.
01:23:25.000 It's an educational experience and a net positive overall, without a doubt.
01:23:30.000 And it also gives us an opportunity to make fun of these kids, which I think they need.
01:23:34.000 They need to realize that the world thinks they're fools.
01:23:37.000 And I really believe that all...
01:23:39.000 I've read several articles on your case.
01:23:41.000 Your situation, rather.
01:23:43.000 Your case.
01:23:43.000 You caught a case.
01:23:45.000 I got comedy me too'd, you know?
01:23:47.000 All the articles that I've read were all essentially positive.
01:23:53.000 Yeah.
01:23:53.000 And they were all, you know, mocking these fucking little children.
01:23:57.000 I want to say for the record that...
01:24:00.000 This is on the record.
01:24:01.000 I still think that it was...
01:24:03.000 I still think that it's like the minority of that group.
01:24:06.000 Yes.
01:24:06.000 Especially at Columbia, for sure.
01:24:08.000 I'm sure.
01:24:08.000 You know, like, it's just that they happen to...
01:24:10.000 Like, because the majority of those kids were, like, amped and, like, had a good time.
01:24:14.000 And even if...
01:24:15.000 That can happen though where a majority can like you and a minority can stand up and then the majority doesn't do anything about it.
01:24:21.000 They just go, what?
01:24:22.000 That shit hurt my feelings.
01:24:24.000 Did it?
01:24:24.000 No, no, no.
01:24:25.000 Those kids saying like, let them stay, let them stay.
01:24:28.000 But it wasn't like a chorus, which is what I would have hoped.
01:24:30.000 But...
01:24:32.000 They're little fucking babies, and they need to hear it.
01:24:35.000 They need to hear their little babies, because that's how you grow up.
01:24:38.000 You do something ridiculous, and then people criticize you, and then you realize, oh, I'm kind of ridiculous.
01:24:43.000 Let me just check myself.
01:24:45.000 Then it hurts your feelings, and you fight it off for a little bit.
01:24:47.000 You try to pretend.
01:24:48.000 You battle it.
01:24:49.000 But overall, over the course of time, you're going to absorb that information, and hopefully those kids are going to grow and mature.
01:24:58.000 I mean, I have friends that were like, Completely progressive, weirdo, crazy, off the charts.
01:25:06.000 Like activists ten years ago, and now they're like way, way mellow, and they're just like, what was wrong with me?
01:25:13.000 I was virtue signaling, I was trying too hard, and they realized like a lot of what they were doing was just wasting energy, and it was just a lot of angst, and a lot of just trying to affect change in order to make themselves feel better.
01:25:27.000 You know, I mean, trying to push buttons in order to validate their existence.
01:25:32.000 That's what a lot of that specific incident felt like.
01:25:35.000 It was either like, no, we have an opportunity to assert our sort of rightness, however wrong it is, here.
01:25:44.000 We're going to take a stand.
01:25:47.000 I'm like, just chill, yo.
01:25:50.000 Just relax.
01:25:51.000 Chill the fuck out.
01:25:52.000 What the fuck?
01:25:53.000 Yeah, there's a lot of foolishness.
01:25:55.000 But this is the world we live in, and I think there's a big part of that accentuated by the fact that we have a maniac for a president.
01:26:01.000 Yo, yeah, that's what it is.
01:26:04.000 Because they feel like that evil needs to be combated at every turn because we didn't before, and we let this guy get into office, and now here he is, and the Mueller probe, and all this fucking craziness.
01:26:14.000 When Obama was president, shit felt a lot cooler.
01:26:17.000 You know what I mean?
01:26:18.000 Yeah.
01:26:19.000 We're going to be fine.
01:26:20.000 And now it's like Trump is president.
01:26:21.000 Everyone's like, oh, shit, man.
01:26:23.000 Bunker down.
01:26:24.000 Now we realize all you have to do is be popular and you can be president.
01:26:27.000 Like, that's insane.
01:26:28.000 Yeah.
01:26:28.000 It used to be you had to be qualified.
01:26:31.000 We used to think that you understood national policy, foreign policy.
01:26:34.000 You understood defense.
01:26:36.000 You understood exactly what's going on with the economy.
01:26:39.000 The basic English.
01:26:40.000 Yeah.
01:26:40.000 That guy doesn't know shit.
01:26:42.000 Yeah.
01:26:42.000 He's just trying to make money.
01:26:45.000 Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall?
01:26:47.000 Because what we're getting all the crazy is him when he knows cameras are on him.
01:26:52.000 I would love to see what he's like alone.
01:26:55.000 I would love to see him watch Fox News.
01:27:00.000 Power eating cheeseburgers.
01:27:02.000 He's a crazy person.
01:27:04.000 It's really weird, man.
01:27:06.000 It's unnerving.
01:27:07.000 I think a lot of what we're seeing, especially with this particular thing, is the thing where it's like you don't have control in any other facet of your life necessarily, so you're going to try to exert it in a way that you think is positive when,
01:27:23.000 in fact, you're doing the opposite of what your liberal sensibilities are.
01:27:29.000 Yeah.
01:27:29.000 I think it's also a trend, and I think that political correctness comes in waves, and it existed.
01:27:37.000 It was pretty strong in the 80s.
01:27:40.000 Political correctness was washing over people in the 80s.
01:27:43.000 Yeah, they're trying to destroy rap and shit.
01:27:45.000 Yeah, and it's coming back, and it'll go away again.
01:27:48.000 People get sick of it, and it'll be ridiculous, and people will rebel against political correctness.
01:27:54.000 But I think overall, the culture's trying to adjust.
01:27:57.000 It's trying to self-adjust.
01:27:59.000 We're trying to...
01:28:00.000 The actual culture, as a whole, is trying to eliminate racism and eliminate sexism and eliminate bias.
01:28:07.000 Which are good, noble goals.
01:28:09.000 They're good, noble goals.
01:28:10.000 Right.
01:28:10.000 But along the ways, you have these polar extremes of people that are doing it wrong.
01:28:15.000 Poor execution.
01:28:16.000 Yeah.
01:28:16.000 Terrible execution.
01:28:17.000 Terrible understanding.
01:28:18.000 Yeah.
01:28:19.000 And it's also strange to me, it's like, what utopia are you trying to create by silencing stuff?
01:28:26.000 Because just because you do that, just because you say, oh, you can't say racist shit, doesn't mean it goes away.
01:28:31.000 Or you can't say sex shit, doesn't mean...
01:28:33.000 That's more like you're treating the symptom and not the disease.
01:28:38.000 Right, but in their defense, you're talking about a very specific platform, right?
01:28:41.000 This is a stage.
01:28:43.000 If you had actually said something actually racist, then it would make sense that, hey, we don't want anybody telling racist jokes.
01:28:49.000 100%, right.
01:28:50.000 Yeah.
01:28:51.000 But they wanted it to be racist.
01:28:53.000 Yeah, that's the thing.
01:28:54.000 It's like, yo, just fucking take a minute, take a second to relax.
01:28:58.000 And what I was trying to get at is that what utopia have you read about that's ever been real?
01:29:05.000 Every book we read in high school, college, Brave New World, Lord of the Flies, or Animal Farm, The Giver, which we read in fucking middle school.
01:29:14.000 That's all a utopia, but there's fucking killing babies.
01:29:17.000 It all goes south.
01:29:18.000 All of it.
01:29:19.000 It's all a fucking false utopia kind of situation.
01:29:22.000 There is hate speech in the world, and you don't want it on your platform.
01:29:27.000 But you've got to decide what is hate speech, when is it really hate speech, and when is it just ignorance.
01:29:32.000 And sometimes the best way to combat bad speech is to let that speech play out and let good speech overwhelm it with logic and reason and a better argument.
01:29:43.000 That's really what freedom of speech is supposed to be all about, that we work all this out.
01:29:47.000 As soon as you start censoring voices and telling people that you're not going to allow them to talk, Boy, you create this atmosphere where you can start to choose what you're going to allow through and what you're not going to allow through.
01:30:01.000 And then you're going to start censoring things that are far more subtle.
01:30:04.000 You're going to start censoring things that don't seem reasonable.
01:30:08.000 But you've decided that it's already okay to censor.
01:30:11.000 So you've censored this person.
01:30:13.000 Now you're going to censor the next worst thing.
01:30:15.000 And then you're going to go down the line until it's just people that disagree with you.
01:30:18.000 And then you're like, oh, well, my world is perfect now.
01:30:21.000 In fact, it's actually just a bunch of people that are talking shit about you.
01:30:25.000 You just don't happen to know about it.
01:30:26.000 Are you familiar with what's going on with Patreon?
01:30:31.000 No, with that.
01:30:32.000 And that's like the podcast pay form thing, or you can pay for shit with Patreon?
01:30:36.000 Well, yeah, you can pay for things, but it's not necessarily just for podcasts, but people do use it for podcasts, but they use it for many things.
01:30:42.000 Okay.
01:30:43.000 But there's this guy, his name is Carl Benjamin, and he goes by the name of Sargon of Arkad.
01:30:49.000 And he considers himself a, what do you call, a classic British liberal.
01:30:55.000 Okay.
01:30:55.000 Which is more, leans more conservative than our idea of what a liberal is.
01:31:00.000 But essentially, it's more of like a libertarian.
01:31:02.000 How would you describe a classic British liberal?
01:31:07.000 Like, what would be the definition?
01:31:08.000 Like, Google that.
01:31:10.000 The first name would be Carl Benjamin.
01:31:11.000 I mean, that's a strong name.
01:31:13.000 Well, Sargon of Akkad is his screen name.
01:31:17.000 And he has a YouTube channel.
01:31:19.000 And he said something on a podcast, not even his own.
01:31:25.000 He was a guest on another channel.
01:31:28.000 And he said something about white supremacists.
01:31:32.000 He was talking about these white supremacists that are acting up and doing all these horrible things.
01:31:36.000 And he said, and this is, it's a poorly formed thought, but what he essentially said was, you guys are being niggers.
01:31:45.000 He says you act like white niggers.
01:31:48.000 This is his word.
01:31:49.000 See, this is what he's saying.
01:31:51.000 You're acting like a bunch of niggers just so you know you act like white niggers.
01:31:55.000 I'm sorry if you heard that word and it's offending you right now, ladies and gentlemen.
01:31:58.000 I'm just reading.
01:31:59.000 Exactly how you describe black people acting is the impression I get dealing with the alt-right.
01:32:04.000 I'm really...
01:32:05.000 I'm just not in the mood to deal with this kind of disrespect.
01:32:08.000 So that's a very...
01:32:10.000 It's a very poorly thought out way of expressing himself.
01:32:16.000 That's what I'm thinking.
01:32:17.000 I'm reading this and I think also...
01:32:20.000 Sometimes people like using that word to shock, and they think they can get away with it, and when you're using it...
01:32:27.000 What's the context of this?
01:32:31.000 But you also said here, look, you carry on, but you don't expect me to have a debate with one of your faggots.
01:32:36.000 Like, why would I bother?
01:32:38.000 Okay, now that is more egregious, because that is...
01:32:42.000 I mean, and if you're just dealing with censoring words, he's not using that saying, you're acting like the way you call gay people.
01:32:52.000 He's not saying that.
01:32:53.000 He's like calling someone a gay slur.
01:32:56.000 And he's saying it again and again.
01:32:57.000 So this was just what they had decided to use.
01:33:00.000 Now, I don't agree with any of these things he said.
01:33:03.000 When I'm reading this, I'm like, this is...
01:33:05.000 These are poorly thought out arguments.
01:33:09.000 This is a poorly thought out sentence.
01:33:11.000 Just stop scrolling there for a second.
01:33:14.000 Put that back up.
01:33:15.000 It's not well thought out.
01:33:17.000 Not at all.
01:33:17.000 It's not good.
01:33:20.000 But this has nothing to do with his Patreon page.
01:33:25.000 This doesn't even have to do with his...
01:33:27.000 His channel.
01:33:28.000 This is something.
01:33:29.000 He made this comment as a part of a longer, wide-ranging interview with a YouTuber named Michelle Catlin.
01:33:37.000 Catlin?
01:33:38.000 And you can watch the full interview on this.
01:33:41.000 It says, chatting with Sargon of Akkad about the liberalist community.
01:33:46.000 So, you know, it was free-flowing, and he said a bunch of really stupid things.
01:33:53.000 But what he was trying to say is that these people are behaving exactly the way when they try to say racist things about black people.
01:34:07.000 Essentially, they're behaving exactly the way they're describing, in a racist way, black people.
01:34:16.000 It's just not well thought out.
01:34:18.000 I mean, this guy needs a class in how to fucking be articulate.
01:34:21.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.
01:34:22.000 But that's what I'm getting from this.
01:34:24.000 So Patreon decided to remove him because of that.
01:34:27.000 And there's many people that feel like that's not exactly why they did it, that they were looking for an excuse, and it's really because of his anti-liberal bias.
01:34:38.000 So...
01:34:40.000 A lot of people are disgusted by the idea that Patreon is now censoring voices and deciding who should or should not be able to receive donations from their fans based on their own personal political biases.
01:34:58.000 So this is the argument now.
01:35:00.000 And it's an interesting thing that's popped up because people like Sam Harris, who is very left, I mean, he gets accused of being all right, which is kind of hilarious, but he's very progressive and, you know, he's a public intellectual and he's decided that this is a moment where he is going to pull his Patreon account down because he doesn't like the way they are choosing to censor people.
01:35:26.000 And de-platform people based entirely on something that has nothing to do with anything he's done on their platform and has something to do with something that was out there on another channel.
01:35:38.000 So it's one of those weird little battleground situations.
01:35:42.000 But do you think that Patreon's a private enterprise, right?
01:35:46.000 Yes.
01:35:46.000 So they can do whatever the fuck they want, no?
01:35:47.000 Essentially.
01:35:48.000 They can and did.
01:35:49.000 So then people can decide that they don't want to deal with Patreon because Patreon doesn't support free speech.
01:35:55.000 Because free speech...
01:35:57.000 The argument would go that free speech is not just supporting speech that you agree with.
01:36:04.000 True free speech is letting people express themselves.
01:36:07.000 Now, the way he expressed himself there, not very good.
01:36:12.000 Clumsy.
01:36:14.000 That's an understatement.
01:36:16.000 Your thoughts on it?
01:36:17.000 You've never seen this before.
01:36:19.000 What are your thoughts on it?
01:36:20.000 I'm like, dude, that choice of words is such a way to just...
01:36:26.000 If I'm a person reading that, my eye goes, you said what?
01:36:32.000 It's such an offensive word where you can't even go there.
01:36:34.000 It immediately distracts from the point that you're trying to make.
01:36:38.000 That's a good way of putting it.
01:36:42.000 I don't think that guy, I don't know if he's racist or not.
01:36:45.000 I don't think he is.
01:36:46.000 But your immediate reaction is like, this guy, you can't do that.
01:36:50.000 You have...
01:36:52.000 You have fundamentally destroyed whatever point you were trying to make because of your choice.
01:36:57.000 It's like you could be trying to save...
01:37:21.000 Damn, dawg!
01:37:25.000 You mean that wasn't vetted?
01:37:27.000 Oh, dude, he's gone over that with a fucking highlighter.
01:37:30.000 These are the key points he wants to hit on.
01:37:31.000 There's been a few websites.
01:37:33.000 I was trying to look up the ones exactly, but I know, for instance, on Twitch in the last year, they've changed things on the terms of service that kind of what you do broadly affects what you do on anyone's account.
01:37:44.000 The problem with that, what you're just saying right now, is the guy who's the CEO of Patreon actually went on Dave Rubin's show, The Rubin Report, and said that they're only concerned with things that happen on Patreon.
01:37:57.000 And that's what they focus on.
01:37:59.000 Then they changed that after this.
01:38:03.000 Because...
01:38:05.000 Here's the problem.
01:38:06.000 Like, I see their point with this particular thing that this guy said.
01:38:13.000 I see how they find that offensive, and if that becomes a thing that he does more than once, and becomes a thing that he uses that all the time, and uses that kind of language in that context a lot,
01:38:28.000 it's like, hmm, this is not, it's clunky.
01:38:34.000 We're good to go.
01:38:54.000 You people rally on about black people and call them this, and you say they're doing that.
01:38:59.000 This is what you do.
01:39:01.000 You are exactly what you're...
01:39:03.000 The only thing that's missing is that you don't have the right pigment to receive your own hate, your own self-hate.
01:39:10.000 You're doing the very things that you accuse, that you, in a racist way, accuse black people of doing.
01:39:16.000 It's stupid.
01:39:17.000 But the way to combat that, I don't...
01:39:22.000 When you start censoring people and taking away their ability to make a living by expressing themselves, I just don't think that's the way to go.
01:39:31.000 Because you're just going to receive backlash.
01:39:34.000 That's the thing.
01:39:36.000 That's one of those instances where it's like...
01:39:39.000 You've said a trigger word that is clearly a trigger word.
01:39:43.000 And what you just said is the way he should have said what he wanted to say.
01:39:48.000 In hindsight, if you gave them an opportunity, like you say, hey, Carl, here's a time machine.
01:39:54.000 Go back right before you said that and say it again.
01:39:56.000 What?
01:39:57.000 I was going to say, on Patreon, I'm reading their stance on it.
01:40:01.000 As a website, they don't host anything.
01:40:03.000 So to say that it's something that's happening on Patreon.
01:40:06.000 No, but they do host blogs.
01:40:07.000 Jordan Peterson wrote a blog on Patreon.
01:40:10.000 But that's what most of their content is, is links from other websites.
01:40:13.000 They have to take into account what you're creating as a creator.
01:40:19.000 Anywhere, almost.
01:40:20.000 Right.
01:40:20.000 This isn't even him as a creator, though.
01:40:23.000 This was him, a guest on someone else's show.
01:40:25.000 So this is not something that's his own content that he put out.
01:40:29.000 There's stances that he collaborates with other creators and this would be considered a collaboration.
01:40:33.000 Yeah.
01:40:34.000 As a YouTube creator, I guess.
01:40:35.000 I see that point.
01:40:36.000 I do not think that it's a wise thing to censor him, though.
01:40:40.000 Do you?
01:40:42.000 Get that motherfucker a PR coach, dog.
01:40:44.000 Jesus Christ.
01:40:45.000 At the very least, maybe that this is the first dance, which I think they're saying it is, definitely a warning or maybe a...
01:40:51.000 But here's the thing, man.
01:40:52.000 Here's the thing.
01:40:53.000 But here's the thing.
01:40:54.000 What he does is he's...
01:40:59.000 He's a commentator.
01:41:01.000 He sees life and he talks about it.
01:41:03.000 And I've listened to a lot of his stuff and it's very good.
01:41:07.000 He's a smart man.
01:41:08.000 A lot of it's very good.
01:41:09.000 This is not very good.
01:41:11.000 So the right way when it comes to these things is let the people who contribute To his Patreon, decide that they don't like what he's doing, so they're no longer going to subscribe.
01:41:23.000 That's the correct use of the platform.
01:41:25.000 The platform exists because people who are fans are able to contribute.
01:41:30.000 I say, Nimesh, I really like what you do.
01:41:32.000 I'm going to send you $100 every month.
01:41:34.000 And if someone wants to do that, they can do that.
01:41:37.000 And there's a lot of people that do do that.
01:41:38.000 When you say something that makes them offended, that makes them realize you're sloppy with your words, that makes them feel like you're a fool...
01:41:46.000 They go, you know what, I'm not sending that fucking guy money anymore.
01:41:49.000 Yeah, let the marketplace talk in that sense.
01:41:51.000 And then they pull back.
01:41:51.000 If he lost 30% of his market because of that, and then a bunch of blogs are written about how stupid what he said was, that's the correct response.
01:42:00.000 Correct.
01:42:01.000 I think.
01:42:02.000 But the problem with pulling out is, then guys like Sam Harris are pulling out, and they've lost somewhere around 20% of all their Patreon accounts because of this.
01:42:12.000 Because there's been a backlash.
01:42:13.000 And by the way, a backlash that's primarily coming from people who don't agree with what that guy said, but do agree that it's a very slippery slope to start censoring people.
01:42:25.000 That's a good moral stance to take.
01:42:27.000 Yeah.
01:42:27.000 It's kind of like, I forget which political figure said it.
01:42:32.000 It's like, I do not agree with what you're saying, but I will defend to the death your ability to say it.
01:42:39.000 Yes.
01:42:39.000 I think that's important because the only way that ideas get worked out is through discussion.
01:42:44.000 And as soon as you silence voices, then you no longer have that discussion.
01:42:48.000 Now, to YouTube's credit, he's still up on YouTube.
01:42:52.000 Mm-hmm.
01:42:52.000 Because this was a talk that he had that's available on YouTube.
01:42:55.000 You can listen to it on YouTube.
01:42:57.000 He still has his YouTube account.
01:42:59.000 And he's still able to, you know.
01:43:01.000 One of the things that we're seeing with deplatforming is it's sort of a cascading effect.
01:43:06.000 So dominoes.
01:43:07.000 Twitter takes you down, and then Facebook takes you down.
01:43:11.000 Who was the guy?
01:43:12.000 Not Limbaugh, but some other right winger that said some shit.
01:43:17.000 Gavin McGinnis?
01:43:18.000 Yeah.
01:43:19.000 Proud Boys guy?
01:43:19.000 They took him off of everything.
01:43:20.000 Yeah, he's off of everything.
01:43:21.000 Yeah.
01:43:22.000 Yeah, and that's that.
01:43:23.000 And with him, it's even...
01:43:25.000 He's like a hate speech guy, isn't he?
01:43:27.000 He's like fucking inciting violence and whatever.
01:43:30.000 He definitely did incite violence in that he wanted these Proud Boys to fight against Antifa.
01:43:40.000 And he felt like the Antifa people were thugs, and that they showed up at conservative events, and they threatened violence, and then he wanted the Proud Boys to fight them.
01:43:48.000 I actually had him on my podcast long before any of this shit went down, when I didn't even know what the fuck the Proud Boys was, and I was asking him.
01:43:55.000 I knew him as the co-founder of Vice, and I knew him as...
01:44:00.000 What I would basically say is he was essentially...
01:44:04.000 He was a shit talker.
01:44:06.000 He was a provocateur.
01:44:08.000 He was a clever provocateur.
01:44:10.000 He was kind of a funny guy.
01:44:12.000 The last time he came on the show, he was dressed like Michael Douglas from Falling Down.
01:44:16.000 He had the fucking briefcase and everything and the crazy tie.
01:44:20.000 But he did it on purpose.
01:44:22.000 He said he's dressing like Michael Douglas from Falling Down.
01:44:25.000 He's a guy who would trick people into coming in and talking with him on his YouTube channel, and they thought that he was liberal or progressive, and then he would, you know, he would basically talk them into a corner.
01:44:38.000 You know, like someone...
01:44:42.000 Yeah, he was doing a lot of that, and some of it was very clever that he was doing on his YouTube channel.
01:44:47.000 Then he got into this whole Proud Boys thing, and there's a video, you can watch the bizarre origins of the Proud Boys from a podcast that I did with Anthony Cumia from Opie and Anthony, and he explains how the Proud Boys initially were just a joke.
01:45:04.000 It was literally a joke, and they did it to make fun of a guy that was one of their interns.
01:45:11.000 I think so, yeah.
01:45:13.000 It's kind of a crazy story, man.
01:45:15.000 And then that shit took a real life of its own, and now they're fucking Junior KKK kind of shit.
01:45:19.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:45:20.000 That's crazy.
01:45:20.000 They all of a sudden, it got away from them, and they became an organization where you could just join.
01:45:27.000 So all these people joined, and then they act as a proud boy, and they were beating people up, and all this other crazy shit, and he's on the outside.
01:45:35.000 He got out.
01:45:36.000 He quit.
01:45:37.000 He denounced his position.
01:45:39.000 He realized his life is falling apart.
01:45:41.000 He was being labeled as...
01:45:42.000 They falsely claimed the FBI labeled them as a hate crime, but they didn't.
01:45:47.000 But the Southern Poverty Law Center did label them as a hate crime, and several other organizations did as well.
01:45:52.000 But the Southern Poverty Law Center, they have some pretty crazy shit that they've said as well.
01:45:57.000 They're a serious, liberal, progressive organization that occasionally oversteps the boundaries of logic and reason.
01:46:04.000 They...
01:46:05.000 But what he did was start an organization.
01:46:08.000 And I had a joke about vegans.
01:46:12.000 My joke about vegans was the problem with vegans is the problem with any other group.
01:46:16.000 If you get a group of a hundred people, what are the odds that one of them is going to be a fucking idiot?
01:46:21.000 Well, that's a hundred percent, right?
01:46:23.000 If we're being like really charitable, one out of a hundred is a fucking moron.
01:46:27.000 So if you get a group like vegans, where just anyone can join, and you have...
01:46:33.000 There's 300 million people in this country.
01:46:36.000 That means there's 3 million fucking idiots.
01:46:42.000 That's generous.
01:46:42.000 And a lot of them are vegan.
01:46:44.000 And the joke was that the problem is not the actual people with good ethics and morals that don't want animals to suffer.
01:46:51.000 The problem is you let a bunch of people with no identity join your gang.
01:46:56.000 And then they become a part of this plant-based gang.
01:46:58.000 This is the same thing with the Proud Boys.
01:47:00.000 I think some of them probably went into it thinking it was a goof.
01:47:03.000 And they were going to go there, and they thought these Antifa assholes, these 90-pound dorks swinging bike locks at people and calling everybody a Nazi and a fascist and trying to shut down every single conservative speech that was at any sort of university.
01:47:17.000 These people were preposterous.
01:47:18.000 They were calling Ben Shapiro a Nazi.
01:47:20.000 He's a fucking Jewish man who wears a yarmulke.
01:47:23.000 I mean, it's crazy to call him a Nazi.
01:47:25.000 Right.
01:47:26.000 Completely insane.
01:47:27.000 But he's conservative.
01:47:28.000 The alt-right and the alt-left, almost, right?
01:47:30.000 Yes, exactly.
01:47:31.000 And so their idea was to have something that would be there to balance out the alt-left.
01:47:38.000 And it got out of control.
01:47:40.000 And so he denounced it, and he stepped away from it, pulled away.
01:47:43.000 But it's too late.
01:47:44.000 Because he's now what you said.
01:47:46.000 See, you don't know him, but you said he's the hate speech guy.
01:47:49.000 You said he's that guy.
01:47:51.000 That's how everybody's going to see him.
01:47:52.000 Right.
01:47:53.000 So if you found out your sister was dating him, you'd be like, what?
01:47:56.000 You're dating the hate speech guy?
01:47:58.000 Like, that's who he is.
01:47:59.000 And you'd be like, no, no, no, no, it's not that.
01:48:01.000 It's like, it got away from him.
01:48:03.000 It just, it became this, it wasn't him anymore.
01:48:05.000 With all these people that joined that were actual racist.
01:48:08.000 Too late.
01:48:08.000 Yeah.
01:48:09.000 Doesn't matter.
01:48:09.000 Too late.
01:48:10.000 There's no room for that in this world.
01:48:11.000 I'm out the game.
01:48:12.000 Yeah.
01:48:12.000 So...
01:48:14.000 All these other groups, once he started getting deplatformed, these other groups got pressure to deplatform him.
01:48:22.000 Because they said, hey, you keep the hate speech guy?
01:48:25.000 You're telling me the hate speech guy's on YouTube?
01:48:27.000 And they're like, fuck.
01:48:28.000 Okay, we got to take him off.
01:48:29.000 And so that this domino effect does seem to take place.
01:48:33.000 So with this Sargon of Akkad thing, though, it doesn't seem to be taking place with him because people are examining what he said.
01:48:40.000 They're saying, well, this is a sloppy use of these words.
01:48:43.000 It's not wise what he did, but I do not think he's a racist, and I don't think he was promoting racism.
01:48:49.000 What he was doing was he was using words poorly.
01:48:54.000 Awfully.
01:48:55.000 But yeah, I mean...
01:48:56.000 But that's what he's guilty of.
01:48:56.000 Yeah, but that's the...
01:48:58.000 I mean, that's a good sign he's not being deplatformed, then.
01:49:02.000 If people are taking a beat to realize, like, oh, I don't hate gays and blacks.
01:49:09.000 That's the point.
01:49:11.000 This whole thing has been a lesson in patience, and that's good to hear that this guy is being afforded some patience about what...
01:49:19.000 In their defense, he's already been kicked off of Twitter.
01:49:22.000 He'd been kicked off of Twitter before.
01:49:24.000 I don't know what for, though.
01:49:26.000 Do you know what he got kicked off of Twitter for?
01:49:27.000 He got kicked off of Twitter previously.
01:49:30.000 So he already had that scarlet mark, you know?
01:49:34.000 People were already looking at him.
01:49:35.000 You mean he's been inarticulate on Twitter before?
01:49:38.000 No way!
01:49:39.000 Go get on!
01:49:41.000 I don't know what he had done if they had determined that he had harassed somebody.
01:49:46.000 What's that?
01:49:46.000 I guess this could be a new account.
01:49:48.000 I guess he's on it right now.
01:49:49.000 Is it a new account?
01:49:50.000 Might be.
01:49:51.000 How many followers does he have?
01:49:52.000 13,000.
01:49:54.000 Yeah, it's probably new.
01:49:55.000 He had a lot more than that.
01:49:56.000 He must have...
01:49:58.000 I wonder if he started a new account.
01:49:59.000 I say here, permanently banned account.
01:50:02.000 Let's see.
01:50:03.000 Yeah, he's permanently banned.
01:50:04.000 This is in April of 2017. Oh, so it's pretty old.
01:50:08.000 Isn't that funny?
01:50:09.000 April of 2017 is millions of years ago now.
01:50:12.000 The news cycle is so fast.
01:50:13.000 It's too fast.
01:50:15.000 It's weird, right?
01:50:16.000 Dude, I'm telling you, when I was at the show, it was like, a story would be hot Monday morning, and then Tuesday morning, it's like, what happened?
01:50:25.000 No one gives a shit.
01:50:27.000 No one gives a shit.
01:50:28.000 That's one of the more interesting things about this whole Trump story, especially the Mueller probe, is that there's been so many of those quick stories that have just piled up.
01:50:38.000 You remember that family where the son died in Iraq?
01:50:44.000 Yeah, and he didn't...
01:50:45.000 Sorry, let me cut you off.
01:50:47.000 He was...
01:50:48.000 He'd said something.
01:50:50.000 He had mocked...
01:50:51.000 Somehow or another mocked the family.
01:50:53.000 And people were like, this guy.
01:50:55.000 And a lot of people thought that was going to be the end of him.
01:50:58.000 And it's just like these things sort of pile up.
01:51:00.000 Oh, the Pakistani-American?
01:51:02.000 Yes.
01:51:02.000 Yeah.
01:51:05.000 There's been so many of those stories.
01:51:07.000 But accumulative, they are starting to pile up too much.
01:51:13.000 It's little drops that are coming.
01:51:16.000 He's been able to sort of roll with those punches and just sort of slide them off kind of.
01:51:22.000 But this Mueller thing, what I really like about the Mueller thing is that...
01:51:27.000 It's been a real slow build, and you get little hints of what's going on, but it's been like...
01:51:33.000 We were talking about this at the show while I was there.
01:51:37.000 FBI don't fucking...
01:51:39.000 They build a case.
01:51:40.000 Yeah.
01:51:41.000 They take their fucking time and they got all the time and money in the world to build.
01:51:46.000 And when they come, they don't come light.
01:51:48.000 Yeah.
01:51:49.000 It's not like they come heavy.
01:51:52.000 They're knocking on doors.
01:51:53.000 They're coming 100 deep.
01:51:54.000 And that's what's...
01:51:55.000 It's going to be 0 to 100 like that.
01:51:58.000 And that's going to be interesting to see what happens.
01:52:00.000 Especially Mueller.
01:52:02.000 You look at that guy.
01:52:02.000 There's a calculated...
01:52:05.000 Assassin.
01:52:05.000 He is taking his fucking time.
01:52:08.000 That's gotta be killing Trump.
01:52:09.000 He doesn't take shit.
01:52:10.000 And the beauty with Mueller is that you know he's an independent guy.
01:52:15.000 Yeah.
01:52:16.000 He don't take shit from nobody.
01:52:18.000 The crazy thing was that Trump was literally considering firing him.
01:52:22.000 Yeah.
01:52:23.000 But everyone's like, someone was like, hey man, you cannot do that.
01:52:27.000 That's the one that was, you cannot do that.
01:52:29.000 But when he fired Comey, that's when I realized, like, whoa!
01:52:33.000 Like, this guy could just do that?
01:52:34.000 He could just fire the head of the FBI? He's just testing.
01:52:37.000 He's just, can I do this?
01:52:39.000 Yeah.
01:52:39.000 Can I get rid of the attorney general that I think was supposed to be on my side?
01:52:44.000 Sessions?
01:52:44.000 Yeah.
01:52:45.000 Yeah, but he finds out, oh, no.
01:52:47.000 Jeff is also, as racist as he is, is a man of high ethical standards when it comes to, like, I'm not going to fucking do, I may hate minorities, but I respect the law.
01:52:59.000 Yeah.
01:52:59.000 You know, like, that's Jeff Sessions.
01:53:01.000 Did you find out what happened?
01:53:03.000 There wasn't a really good explanation of it.
01:53:05.000 It was just one of those things, like, he had a, I think he had a debate with Baked Alaska, and then the next day he was gone with no real explanation of why.
01:53:13.000 Probably said some anti-SAM and shit.
01:53:16.000 I don't know.
01:53:17.000 What's Baked Alaska?
01:53:18.000 I don't know what Baked Alaska is.
01:53:20.000 He's a guy.
01:53:21.000 He's a meme guy.
01:53:23.000 He was just a meme guy, but now he's essentially become this really right-wing sort of...
01:53:31.000 He's kind of in the Infowars camp as well, right?
01:53:36.000 Yeah.
01:53:38.000 But Baked Alaska has come up with some fucking hilarious memes.
01:53:41.000 Oh, okay.
01:53:41.000 Some of his memes are hilarious.
01:53:43.000 He had one with Alex Jones.
01:53:46.000 He's always had a bunch of them like that.
01:53:48.000 I've been out the game for that.
01:53:50.000 The meme game?
01:53:51.000 It's just all of it.
01:53:52.000 I feel old.
01:53:54.000 Wikipedia has an interesting label for it.
01:53:56.000 What does it say?
01:53:57.000 Far-right.
01:53:57.000 American far-right neo-nazi.
01:53:59.000 What?
01:54:00.000 Yikes.
01:54:00.000 He's a neo-nazi?
01:54:03.000 What kind of name is Antime?
01:54:06.000 What kind of name is Dimesh?
01:54:09.000 Proud.
01:54:11.000 Proud Patel, though.
01:54:14.000 Alright, man.
01:54:14.000 Let's wrap this bitch up.
01:54:15.000 I gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:54:17.000 For sure, dude.
01:54:18.000 Overall, man, I think you handled this really well.
01:54:21.000 Thank you very much.
01:54:21.000 I think this is definitely a positive for your career.
01:54:24.000 Yeah, thank you.
01:54:24.000 You're a funny dude.
01:54:25.000 You just continue.
01:54:26.000 Keep on moving on.
01:54:28.000 Thank you, man.
01:54:28.000 I appreciate you, brother.
01:54:29.000 My pleasure.
01:54:29.000 Thank you, man.
01:54:30.000 Appreciate you, too.
01:54:31.000 Thank you, man.
01:54:31.000 Oh, tell people how to get to your Instagram, your Twitter, all that jazz.
01:54:34.000 Yeah, sure.
01:54:35.000 I'm at FindingNemesh on Instagram.
01:54:37.000 Twitter, I have like 10 follows because I hate Twitter.
01:54:39.000 And then I'll be at the Punchline in Philly December 27th through December 29th.
01:54:44.000 Beautiful.
01:54:45.000 Go there and snatch the mic from him.
01:54:46.000 No, don't do that.
01:54:47.000 Just please.
01:54:49.000 Oh man, that's gonna happen.