The Joe Rogan Experience - January 22, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1229 - Richard Rawlings


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 58 minutes

Words per Minute

191.48016

Word Count

34,109

Sentence Count

3,853

Misogynist Sentences

131

Hate Speech Sentences

88


Summary

On this episode of the Gas Monkey Car Show, we sit down with the host of the hit TV show "Gas Monkey" and talk about how he got started with the show and how he built it into what it is today. Gas Monkey is a show about a group of guys who go out and buy and sell cars and have a good time doing it. It's a fun show to watch and listen to and it's a blast to be a part of the crew. We talk about the history of the show, how it came about, and what it's like to be on the show. We also talk about some of the cars he's been driving and some of his favorite memories of growing up in the late 80's and early 90's. It was a pleasure to have the chance to sit down and chat with him and talk with him about his life and his love of cars and what he's up to these days. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to Like and Subscribe to the show! and share it with a friend who needs a good ol' car show story like him! Thanks for listening! Love ya! -The Crew at CHAD'S Garage -Jon & Matt Jon & Matt, Matt, R.J. & Chris, Mike & Sarah, Chris, J.A. & Sarah Thanks Jon and Sarah, Matt, for coming to visit us at the show this week and talking about our favorite car show, Gas Monkey! Jon, you're the best in the business in the world! Sarah, Sarah, I love you, I'm glad you're here! Mike, I hope you like it, I know you'll come back next week! and I'll see you soon! Thank you! --Jon and Matt, Mike, too! Cheers! CHAD! Steve, Jon & Sarah! "The Crew" -Jon and Sarah -Mike, Mike & Brett, . Tim, Paul, Jody, B. & Brett , Paul, D. B. - Ben, JB, John, , J. & K. , D. & J. B., J. . . J. M. & G. & C. J., R. & A. J. , S. & M. & S. M., D. C.


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Three, two, one, boom.
00:00:06.000 And we're live.
00:00:07.000 What's happening?
00:00:08.000 How are you?
00:00:09.000 I am just stoked to be here.
00:00:10.000 I'm stoked to have you here, man.
00:00:12.000 It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:00:12.000 I love your show.
00:00:13.000 Thank you.
00:00:14.000 It's fun.
00:00:14.000 It's a fun fucking car show.
00:00:16.000 It really is, man.
00:00:17.000 It is.
00:00:17.000 I tell people I might be the smartest guy in the world and I figured out how to drink beer and play with cars and get paid for it.
00:00:22.000 Yeah, but it's a fun show.
00:00:25.000 You're not taking yourself too seriously.
00:00:27.000 You're having a good time.
00:00:28.000 You're buying and selling awesome cars.
00:00:31.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:00:33.000 It was a dream of mine to get it done.
00:00:34.000 It took eight years to get it sold, but here we are now.
00:00:39.000 Did it really?
00:00:39.000 Yeah, I started pitching the show in 2004. We didn't start until 2012. What were you doing before that?
00:00:48.000 Before television or before Gas Monkey?
00:00:51.000 Yeah.
00:00:51.000 I kind of had two stages in life.
00:00:53.000 I was a firefighter, police officer, medic before I was old enough to drink.
00:00:57.000 I mean, I'm talking 19 years old, carrying a gun.
00:01:00.000 Probably one of the smartest things for them to let me do.
00:01:02.000 Damn, you let you have a girl when you were 19?
00:01:04.000 I had a badge.
00:01:05.000 I was a cop.
00:01:08.000 Literally, I was a police officer.
00:01:10.000 So by the time I was 20, I was also a firefighter.
00:01:13.000 So I did that for a while and then moved into printing and advertising and then sold that and got into this.
00:01:20.000 So was it just like something you're always into cars and that's what led you to the show?
00:01:25.000 You know...
00:01:27.000 How would I tell the story diplomatically?
00:01:30.000 Realistically, I was watching the shows that were on TV at the time.
00:01:33.000 I've always been a car nut and a motorcycle guy and what have you, and I realized one night that my kids are never in the room watching it, and my wife's not in the room watching it.
00:01:44.000 The shows that were on were a little bit too much bravado, and I'm a tough guy.
00:01:49.000 So I dug it, and all my buddies dug it, but the wives and stuff.
00:01:52.000 And I was like, golly, they're missing a big chunk of the market here.
00:01:54.000 If you could tone down that part of it a little bit and still have a cool brand and still be a cool guy and get the moms and the kids in the room.
00:02:04.000 Hopefully it's a lot more successful.
00:02:05.000 And so that's that was kind of where the idea came from and I just went out and started it.
00:02:09.000 That's interesting.
00:02:10.000 So the marketing side of you kicked in.
00:02:13.000 Uh-huh.
00:02:13.000 So the marketing side of you went, uh, I think there's another way to do this.
00:02:17.000 Yeah.
00:02:18.000 I mean, I'm still a tattooed guy with some jewelry, but you know, I got a pit bull.
00:02:22.000 I got a poodle on a leash, not a pit bull on a chain.
00:02:25.000 Well, the show, it doesn't seem compromised.
00:02:28.000 That's what's interesting about it.
00:02:29.000 Cause it seems like a kind of a guy's show.
00:02:31.000 I never thought about it that way.
00:02:32.000 Well, The way I approached it was just like when I was a kid and my dad had a garage, not open for public garage, but he had a place that we kept his car.
00:02:43.000 The neighbors would come over and they'd tinker and they'd drink beer and that's what car guys do.
00:02:47.000 So we kind of took that approach of that's what Gas Monkey does.
00:02:50.000 We just drink some beer and play with some cars and goof around.
00:02:54.000 Just like Saturday afternoon, but all week long.
00:02:56.000 Did you have any of a background in automobile knowledge?
00:03:00.000 Did you know how to fix things?
00:03:03.000 Yeah, I've never really been the full fabricator.
00:03:07.000 I understand everything and how it works, but I'm probably more of a business guy.
00:03:12.000 So I was able to go out and hire good guys to do the fabricating stuff, and we've got a great team.
00:03:17.000 But I did have the car knowledge, and I had the eyeball for what was good and keeping up with what was going to be happening.
00:03:24.000 Things like that.
00:03:24.000 And that's kind of my strong suit is saying, okay, Porsches are fixed to be popular, so we're going to get into 356s or Broncos like the one you drove in or what have you.
00:03:34.000 And I keep my eye on the market.
00:03:36.000 That's interesting.
00:03:37.000 But you still do keep your eye on the market.
00:03:39.000 I saw that 68 that you have outside the 68 Chevelle.
00:03:42.000 Yeah.
00:03:42.000 68?
00:03:43.000 Is that what it is?
00:03:43.000 68 Convertible.
00:03:44.000 Goddamn, that's a nice car.
00:03:46.000 It's probably the best one I've ever seen.
00:03:48.000 I mean, from an original standpoint.
00:03:50.000 Yeah, it's mint.
00:03:51.000 I mean, it's got little scuffs out.
00:03:52.000 It's driven, you know, but it's in perfect condition.
00:03:55.000 It doesn't have any dents or anything wrong with it.
00:03:57.000 It was literally a little old lady from Pasadena.
00:03:59.000 I mean, the lady bought it brand new and she passed away a couple years ago and I bought it from her grandson.
00:04:05.000 Wow, what a cliche.
00:04:06.000 52,000 original miles and never been wrecked.
00:04:09.000 Old lady from Pasadena is a cliche.
00:04:12.000 I know, right?
00:04:13.000 It was technically Pomona, but you know.
00:04:15.000 Same shit.
00:04:16.000 Wow.
00:04:17.000 Yeah, that car.
00:04:18.000 I've said this on the show a million times.
00:04:20.000 I'm a giant fan of the time period of 1965 to somewhere around 1971, they fell apart.
00:04:28.000 Yeah.
00:04:28.000 You still get a 71 Challenger, a 71 Barracuda, still pretty sweet.
00:04:32.000 For sure.
00:04:33.000 But then you get into like 72, 73. They had to start putting the big bumpers on there with the shocks and everything just got ugly.
00:04:41.000 It just fell apart.
00:04:42.000 Then you got the gas crunched and then everything got four cylinders and it was a bad time in the late 70s for sure.
00:04:49.000 It was a bad time, but it's a good time now.
00:04:51.000 It's a really interesting time now for muscle cars.
00:04:55.000 The race is so crazy that they're putting out street legal cars you could buy from a dealer with 700 plus horsepower, and almost every dealer has one now.
00:05:05.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:05:06.000 I mean, I've got a demon myself, and that's 808 horsepower.
00:05:09.000 It's fucking crazy!
00:05:10.000 Now the new GT500 is out, that's going to have over 700 horsepower.
00:05:14.000 You know, you have the Camaro, what is it, 1LE, it's the, no.
00:05:23.000 What is it, LT1 1LE? No, what the fuck is the name of the...
00:05:27.000 It's something like that.
00:05:28.000 ZL1 1LE. ZL, yeah, that's it.
00:05:30.000 Yeah, ZL1 1LE, which is 650 horsepower, and then the new ZR1 has 750 horsepower.
00:05:37.000 They're just preposterous.
00:05:38.000 Oh, it's...
00:05:41.000 I think it could be a little dangerous, you know, when everybody out there thinking, hey, I can drive a 700 horsepower car because it's completely different than, you know, a normal one.
00:05:49.000 Well, did you see the video of the guy from one of the head guys at GM who took it on track, like, one of the first days they were releasing the car and he spun out on the first turn and slammed into the wall?
00:05:59.000 Well, I can't say much.
00:06:01.000 I wrecked a brand new Hellcat the other day racing at Woodward.
00:06:03.000 Did you really?
00:06:04.000 Yeah.
00:06:05.000 Oh no.
00:06:05.000 I went to Woodward Dream Cruise and they had a little celebrity matchup and I was racing and just lost it and hit the wall.
00:06:12.000 Took out the whole side of the car.
00:06:14.000 Were you on a track or were you on a strip?
00:06:17.000 It was a street track that they had right there on Woodward Avenue.
00:06:20.000 So they put up the blocks and you take off.
00:06:24.000 Yikes.
00:06:24.000 Yeah.
00:06:25.000 Yeah.
00:06:26.000 Those Hellcats are beautiful, but they're not that great at cornering.
00:06:29.000 It's still a giant car.
00:06:31.000 It's a big car.
00:06:32.000 Yeah.
00:06:32.000 Mustang and Camaro are going to do better in the corners for sure.
00:06:35.000 Yeah.
00:06:35.000 The Hellcat has so much front.
00:06:37.000 There's so much out in front.
00:06:39.000 I mean, it really does remind you more than any of those other cars, though, of those 1970 cars.
00:06:45.000 It really has that shape.
00:06:47.000 If you look at a 1969 Camaro, and then you look at a 2019 Camaro, you're like, uh...
00:06:53.000 I don't see it.
00:06:53.000 That's not the same thing.
00:06:54.000 But a Challenger really does look like that old car.
00:06:58.000 Well, Tim Kaniscus killed it.
00:07:00.000 I mean, that was his whole passion project the whole time he was running Dodge, and he just absolutely nailed it.
00:07:05.000 Yeah, no, they did.
00:07:06.000 They made a great-looking modern muscle car.
00:07:09.000 The other ones are just great-looking cars.
00:07:12.000 I mean, they are still muscle cars, but you don't really think about the old days when you see them.
00:07:17.000 Nah, they've tried, but they didn't get it as good as Dodge.
00:07:20.000 Now, you guys make some fucking great builds, too.
00:07:24.000 You know, you guys have done some really sweet custom builds.
00:07:27.000 Like, you were telling me outside that the longest you do a build for is 25 days.
00:07:32.000 We've got it down to about 25 from 32-ish when we started.
00:07:36.000 So when you see a car on the show, if it's a single episode, then we built that car in 25, 26 days.
00:07:43.000 That's crazy!
00:07:44.000 Start to finish, paint, interior, everything.
00:07:46.000 How do you do it so quick?
00:07:47.000 A lot of planning and we've learned over seven years now and 130 of them that, you know, We've just got our process in, and the crew that I have at the shop now is unbelievably phenomenal.
00:07:59.000 And there's only six guys doing it.
00:08:01.000 There's six guys that do it.
00:08:03.000 25 days, we're done.
00:08:04.000 That's insane.
00:08:05.000 But what about, like, if you're going to do a custom suspension or, you know, Art Morrison chassis or something like that?
00:08:11.000 It just takes some planning.
00:08:12.000 So literally what we do is we build the car three times.
00:08:15.000 This is what I tell everybody.
00:08:16.000 We'll say, okay, we're going to build this 68 Chevelle.
00:08:19.000 And so we decide how we're going to build it and what kind of parts we're going to use, what kind of suspension, wheels, motor.
00:08:24.000 We put all that down on paper.
00:08:26.000 And then if it works mathematically for the project we want to do, Then I go find the car.
00:08:32.000 Then when I find the car, we order every single part.
00:08:35.000 And we don't start that car until every single thing that was on that list is in-house, has been checked, and we're ready to go.
00:08:42.000 So now all we've got is actual fabrication time and human error, and we're ready to go.
00:08:48.000 Still seems like such a short amount of time.
00:08:50.000 I mean, all the builds that I've seen take seven months, nine months, a year.
00:08:53.000 It's just the shops are set up differently.
00:08:55.000 It may be one or two guys, or maybe they've got kind of, you know, assembly programs going on or what have you.
00:09:00.000 But we get in there like, you'll love the one we're building right now.
00:09:03.000 We're building a 77 International Scout.
00:09:07.000 And started with a really nice one.
00:09:09.000 Orange, white stripes, plaid interior.
00:09:11.000 I mean, the whole ball of wax.
00:09:14.000 Whacked the chassis out from under it.
00:09:17.000 Put in a full Chris Alston ChassisWorks chassis with only two-wheel drive.
00:09:22.000 And it's all 2018 Hellcat 8-speed automatic in it and slammed on the ground.
00:09:27.000 But it's still a removable top.
00:09:29.000 It's a great California truck.
00:09:30.000 I guarantee you that.
00:09:31.000 Oh, wow.
00:09:31.000 So you lowered it?
00:09:33.000 Yeah, we're calling it the Hellscout.
00:09:37.000 Wow, that's pretty badass.
00:09:38.000 It's going to be a wicked car.
00:09:40.000 Yeah, those Hellcat chassis, Jonathan Ward, the same guy who's doing this, who did my Bronco, the Icon, they're doing that with...
00:09:54.000 I think it's a Superbird.
00:09:56.000 One of those iconic Mopars from the late 60s, early 70s.
00:10:01.000 They're doing a full Hellcat chassis and the whole deal with that.
00:10:04.000 Oh, really?
00:10:05.000 That'd be wicked.
00:10:06.000 Yeah.
00:10:07.000 What company was the first one to really get stupid with these cars?
00:10:11.000 I guess it was kind of Corvette with the ZR1 with horsepower figures.
00:10:15.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:10:16.000 Corvette stepped out there with the ZR1 and started cranking it up.
00:10:20.000 Everybody was kind of in production.
00:10:21.000 You had the resurgence of Shelby.
00:10:24.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:10:25.000 There's Jonathan Ward's.
00:10:26.000 Wow.
00:10:27.000 Look at that thing.
00:10:27.000 That's good looking.
00:10:29.000 That is literally like trying to have a block, like a city block on wheels that you take around a corner.
00:10:36.000 Look how long that goddamn thing is.
00:10:39.000 Yeah, that's going to be a fresh car.
00:10:40.000 For sure.
00:10:41.000 Badass.
00:10:42.000 He does some awesome shit over there, too.
00:10:44.000 He's doing one that I don't think he can talk about.
00:10:47.000 I think he's keeping it under wraps, but he's got a bunch of cool shit.
00:10:50.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:10:51.000 Have you ever been there?
00:10:51.000 I have not.
00:10:52.000 It's right down the street.
00:10:53.000 I know.
00:10:54.000 Go visit afterwards.
00:10:55.000 We might.
00:10:56.000 I don't think I'm going to make my flight.
00:10:57.000 When's your flight?
00:10:58.000 I don't know.
00:10:59.000 I've got a couple of them on hold.
00:11:01.000 Notice I said I've got a couple on hold because I don't think I make enough money for a plane yet.
00:11:06.000 I'm going to talk to Disco on that.
00:11:08.000 What, like a private plane?
00:11:09.000 Is that what you're saying?
00:11:10.000 Yeah, I mean, we're all scrambling for something.
00:11:14.000 Yeah, that's the ultimate scramble, the private jet money.
00:11:16.000 But that is just so much fucking money.
00:11:18.000 That seems pretty ridiculous.
00:11:19.000 It is a little ridiculous.
00:11:20.000 Yeah.
00:11:21.000 But I'd like to have a tricked out one.
00:11:23.000 Gas monkey on it.
00:11:23.000 Big ol' monkey on the tail.
00:11:26.000 With a keg in it somewhere?
00:11:28.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:11:31.000 Now, when you do these shows and you bargain people down and then they watch the show, do people ever get pissed?
00:11:37.000 I've had a few.
00:11:40.000 And in the first few years, they were just excited, you know, that we were going to be doing something with the car.
00:11:47.000 And there's always an element of...
00:11:50.000 Of sentiment to it.
00:11:51.000 You know, it was their dad's or it was their mom's or grandma's or whatever and they want to see it go to a good home.
00:11:56.000 So you got several different kind of people.
00:11:59.000 They want you to not do anything or if you're going to fix it up, we want to see it, you know, all kinds of things like that.
00:12:05.000 Nowadays, it's a little more harder for me to get a decent deal because of the success of the show.
00:12:11.000 And I show up and they're like, oh, you're that guy on TV. No, I didn't say $10,000.
00:12:15.000 I said $13,000.
00:12:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:19.000 Well, I would imagine when people see what you sell them for after you fix them up, then they get a little upset.
00:12:24.000 Yeah, they can, but they don't understand the amount of work and time and money that we've put into it.
00:12:29.000 Most of the cars that we're building on the show now, we're putting at least $100,000 in and sometimes as much as $300,000.
00:12:35.000 Really?
00:12:36.000 Everything we're building now, when the new season comes out in June, people are going to be amazed because we're building this kind of stuff.
00:12:44.000 Wow.
00:12:45.000 And it's wicked cool.
00:12:47.000 Are you doing that in 25 days?
00:12:48.000 Yeah.
00:12:49.000 Fuck, man.
00:12:49.000 Just put together a good plan and execute it.
00:12:52.000 Well, it must be a thing now, because of the show, that people want to get a gas-monkey-built car.
00:12:58.000 They do, but...
00:13:01.000 How would I say this diplomatically?
00:13:03.000 If it weren't for employees, vendors, and customers, business would be great.
00:13:08.000 We don't do a lot for the customer until we've built it for ourselves, and then we sell it to them.
00:13:15.000 But as far as coming in off the street, we just like building what we want to build, honing our skills, and then we find a buyer.
00:13:22.000 Every once in a while, I'll have a guy come in and go, look, this is what I want, but I won't call you.
00:13:28.000 I won't come in there with a new steering wheel.
00:13:33.000 That's why a lot of times cars do take seven months or a year.
00:13:37.000 Because the guy that's having it's built is in there every other weekend going, oh, I don't know, maybe we move this over here and paint it purple.
00:13:43.000 Oh, yeah.
00:13:45.000 I get it.
00:13:46.000 Yeah.
00:13:46.000 No, it does seem like it would be way better to just build it how you like it and then sell it.
00:13:51.000 Well, yeah.
00:13:51.000 I mean, it's still a business decision.
00:13:53.000 I'm trying to build it to where I think it's going to do the most money at the end of the day and stay true with what's going on as far as that particular car and what's going on in the marketplace and technology and what have you.
00:14:06.000 And we do get a lot of calls where people come in and go, okay, I want that exact same thing.
00:14:11.000 You know, and so we'll build another one.
00:14:12.000 Well, sometimes you do buy cars and just sell them without doing anything to it, right?
00:14:18.000 Yeah.
00:14:19.000 That's what we call our B stories.
00:14:21.000 You know, we'll buy something, bring it in, maybe just put some wheels on it or whatever.
00:14:24.000 But usually it's just clean it up, get it run, and sell somebody else the dream because not everybody can afford a fully built car and or they want to do it themselves.
00:14:32.000 So we get them a good project.
00:14:34.000 Yeah, I don't think people realize how much money is involved in a fully built car.
00:14:38.000 Ridiculous.
00:14:38.000 Yeah.
00:14:39.000 Have you ever seen those Revology Mustangs?
00:14:42.000 I was looking at those last night.
00:14:44.000 It's a pretty intensive build.
00:14:45.000 Really interesting stuff.
00:14:48.000 It's essentially not really a Mustang.
00:14:51.000 I mean, it's kind of licensed by Ford.
00:14:53.000 It looks exactly like a Mustang and also all Mustang parts.
00:14:56.000 But it's got everything new.
00:14:58.000 It's just brand new, like a brand new thing.
00:15:02.000 SUV, you take the kids to soccer.
00:15:03.000 Yeah.
00:15:04.000 Except really fast and fun to drive.
00:15:06.000 And 1966, you know, 65, 66, like he's got a GT350. It's not really a 66 GT350. Every part of it, all the fenders, everything, it's all newly fabricated steel.
00:15:19.000 We're going to do that this season, too.
00:15:21.000 I'm going to build a car.
00:15:23.000 Back to original, like a 60. I haven't decided if we're going to do a Mustang or if we're going to do a Camaro.
00:15:27.000 Hey, there's this guy's car.
00:15:28.000 I mean, come the fuck on.
00:15:30.000 That is beautiful.
00:15:31.000 Well, we're going to build one that never existed.
00:15:34.000 Look how pretty that goddamn thing is.
00:15:35.000 He's killing it.
00:15:36.000 I want to see what one of those things is like in real life.
00:15:39.000 He's even got push-button start.
00:15:42.000 It senses when you're near the car, so it'll unlock for you.
00:15:47.000 But it seems like it's a super high-quality build, too.
00:15:52.000 Look how fucking pretty that is.
00:15:55.000 Well, the trick is how much work goes into it.
00:15:58.000 Because, yes, they do make these parts aftermarket and what have you.
00:16:02.000 But a lot of times, that's not the best stuff in the world.
00:16:04.000 So you end up fabricating that and massaging it in and making all the gaps right and what have you.
00:16:09.000 So you can't just expect that you're going to buy a...
00:16:13.000 Set a new front end, fenders and hood and everything.
00:16:15.000 It's going to work out perfect.
00:16:17.000 You're going to always have to massage it and get it right.
00:16:19.000 Well, I've been paying attention to this guy for a while, and essentially what he's been doing is honing the process over the last few years.
00:16:25.000 And he's got a company now that makes...
00:16:29.000 I think it's called Dynacorp that makes all the parts.
00:16:32.000 They make everything in terms of like the bodies.
00:16:34.000 Audi stamps.
00:16:35.000 Yeah.
00:16:36.000 And, you know, he's got his whole process down.
00:16:39.000 But when you watch him drive the cars, it seems like he's, I mean, it sounds perfect.
00:16:45.000 Like everything inside of it seems like completely locked down.
00:16:49.000 No squeaks or rattles.
00:16:50.000 It's really like a modern car.
00:16:52.000 For sure.
00:16:53.000 And there's a lot of shops that do an amazing job at doing that stuff.
00:16:57.000 That's what I like.
00:16:58.000 What I don't like, I mean, I like the way they look.
00:17:01.000 If I look at like a 67 GT500, I like the way they look.
00:17:06.000 But if you try to hit the brakes on one of those things, or if you try to make a turn with those old tires, everything's fucking that skinny, and the balance is all wonky.
00:17:17.000 It's like 1967 car balance.
00:17:19.000 We get a lot of that.
00:17:21.000 I've built a few cars for contests, and somebody will win.
00:17:26.000 And they're like, oh, I won this car.
00:17:27.000 And then they're like, this is horrible.
00:17:30.000 I'm like, that's because it's a stock 65 Mustang.
00:17:34.000 And what have you.
00:17:35.000 Because if you don't realize what you're buying, then yeah, it can be a disappointing process.
00:17:40.000 Yeah, those old cars, man, I mean, we've come a long way.
00:17:42.000 It's pretty amazing.
00:17:44.000 If you go back from, you know, a 1970 car to a 2019 car and you drive it and you hit the brakes and you do all the numbers, like stopping 60 to zero and handling.
00:17:55.000 I mean, the cars of today are pretty ridiculous.
00:17:58.000 It is absolutely amazing, the technology that's out, and the fact that we can use that technology is so much easier.
00:18:03.000 I mean, you can build these kind of cars, or anything you dream up, because you can literally do it right here with your, you know, your Google in your pocket.
00:18:10.000 Yeah.
00:18:10.000 Okay, I want to do this and this, and what have you.
00:18:13.000 So it ends up being, the cars that we're putting out are definitely just like a brand new car.
00:18:19.000 Yeah, but it's a really interesting time, too, for Restomods, you know, because so many people are into that now.
00:18:24.000 They realize that they like the looks of those old cars, but they're not really into the way they drove.
00:18:31.000 Correct.
00:18:31.000 Everybody's about comfort and Bluetooth and, you know, all that kind of stuff.
00:18:35.000 So I'm not really that way.
00:18:37.000 I'm a 32 Ford nut, and I kind of like cars the way that they drive.
00:18:41.000 More or less came out.
00:18:42.000 I mean, I'm all for maybe some disc brakes or safety or whatever, but I like the squeaking and having to learn how to drive it and figure it out.
00:18:49.000 The character of it?
00:18:50.000 Yeah.
00:18:51.000 Manual transmissions.
00:18:53.000 Exactly.
00:18:53.000 Yeah.
00:18:54.000 How much longer before the manuals did...
00:18:57.000 I think it's already got the nails in the coffin.
00:18:59.000 Seems like it, but then, you know, like American cars, they'll come out with cars like the GT350. You can't even get it with an automatic.
00:19:06.000 Fuck off.
00:19:07.000 They won't even sell it to you.
00:19:09.000 Yeah, and they're going to hold on with that as long as they can, but you know, your big competition cars, Porsche, Ferrari, Lambo, Mercedes, you know, you can't get a manual.
00:19:18.000 Wow.
00:19:18.000 Wow, everybody wants that Nürburgring time.
00:19:21.000 They all want that super fast Nürburgring time.
00:19:24.000 And unless you have a double clutch transmission, unless you have paddle shifts, you're going to miss a second here, a second there.
00:19:30.000 And then people are going to look at it.
00:19:32.000 It's so ridiculous that people look at those times.
00:19:35.000 Yeah, because the average show isn't going out there and doing that.
00:19:38.000 I mean, modern cars, I mean, like the ZL1 that we were talking about earlier, I think they're down to, the 1LE, I think is down to a 7 minute and real low seconds Nurburgring time, which is fucking crazy.
00:19:53.000 That's faster than a GT3 RS from a couple of years ago.
00:19:56.000 For sure.
00:19:56.000 For a $60,000 car that you could buy at a Chevy dealership.
00:20:00.000 Eh, probably closer to 80, but yeah.
00:20:02.000 Is it?
00:20:02.000 Yeah, I think it's like 78. Okay.
00:20:04.000 Yeah.
00:20:05.000 But they're...
00:20:05.000 Loaded.
00:20:06.000 Phenomenal car.
00:20:07.000 I agree that that Corvette and probably the Demon are two cars that are the most bang for the buck.
00:20:14.000 I mean, just get in and go.
00:20:16.000 The ZL1, or the ZR1, rather, is almost too stupid.
00:20:19.000 It's almost too ridiculous.
00:20:21.000 It's just like, if you're a regular person...
00:20:23.000 And you buy that and you try to take it somewhere.
00:20:26.000 For you to understand the limits of the grip, how much gas you can apply, for you to have an educated foot.
00:20:32.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:20:32.000 I mean, when they first started making those, what was it, seven or eight years ago, maybe a little longer, I had a client have me getting one.
00:20:40.000 He brought it back the next day, scared to death.
00:20:42.000 He goes, I just sell it.
00:20:43.000 I'll never drive it.
00:20:45.000 He goes, that is just stupid.
00:20:49.000 Yeah, I saw a picture of one the other day in my Google News feed that someone had bought and wrecked the next day.
00:20:54.000 Oh, yeah.
00:20:55.000 Smashed it.
00:20:55.000 I was just reading today.
00:20:57.000 Somebody sent me a link.
00:20:58.000 Did you see the episode where we built the F40? Look at that fucking car.
00:21:01.000 It's fucking wicked.
00:21:02.000 Good lord.
00:21:03.000 I'm doing something with that right now that I can't...
00:21:07.000 I guess I can.
00:21:10.000 Imagine everything you see there, the styling, the carbon fiber points, the lift in the front, everything, the wing, all of it.
00:21:19.000 But we're doing it with a 72 Riviera Boattail.
00:21:23.000 What?
00:21:23.000 Yeah, it's gonna be frickin' sick.
00:21:26.000 We've already chopped the top and brought it down so that it doesn't have that clam mouth and looking, you know, windshield.
00:21:32.000 And so we're taking all of a bunch of our styling cues and definitely all of our driving components ideology and we're cramming it into a 72 Rivie.
00:21:43.000 How does that fit?
00:21:44.000 Huh?
00:21:45.000 How's that going to fit?
00:21:46.000 Well, we're not taking the chassis and putting it over there.
00:21:49.000 We're making our own.
00:21:50.000 Right.
00:21:51.000 And we've worked with Chris Austin on it also for the rear.
00:21:53.000 But you're using that transmission, that engine.
00:21:55.000 Independent suspension.
00:21:56.000 Whoa.
00:21:57.000 Independent rear.
00:21:58.000 I got a video here if I can find it.
00:22:00.000 Isn't a 72 Riviera like a million pounds?
00:22:02.000 How much does the thing weigh?
00:22:03.000 It's a lot, but we're clearing all of that out.
00:22:05.000 We're working with Speed Corps, and we're doing a lot of...
00:22:08.000 The top's going to be carbon fiber, and so will the hood, the trunk, and maybe even the full front clip.
00:22:14.000 Speed Corps did a nasty 1970 Mustang for Robert Downey Jr. that I just saw online the other day.
00:22:20.000 Yeah.
00:22:21.000 With a supercharged Coyote engine in it.
00:22:23.000 Like a weird color, too.
00:22:25.000 Like a beige.
00:22:27.000 Like a weird kind of yellowish, funky color.
00:22:29.000 See, I like the funky colors.
00:22:30.000 Do you?
00:22:31.000 The crazier the better, yeah.
00:22:33.000 I just love it.
00:22:34.000 Our car is going to be like a weird muted gray with red and chrome and carbon.
00:22:40.000 I mean, we're getting pretty crazy with it.
00:22:43.000 We're about halfway through.
00:22:45.000 So it's a 72?
00:22:47.000 Boattail Riviera.
00:22:48.000 See if you can find one of those.
00:22:50.000 I'm trying to picture that.
00:22:51.000 I had a Riviera when I was in high school.
00:22:54.000 No, I didn't.
00:22:56.000 I had a Skylark.
00:22:57.000 So yeah, here you go.
00:22:58.000 Whoa.
00:22:59.000 That's a stock one, but then it'll turn into what we're building.
00:23:02.000 Look at that.
00:23:03.000 We just started chaining.
00:23:04.000 Yeah.
00:23:05.000 So that's a...
00:23:05.000 You know, a few people have built them into hot rods, but...
00:23:08.000 Wow.
00:23:09.000 If you stay on that video, it'll just feed to what it's going to look like when it's done.
00:23:14.000 Oh, I see what you did.
00:23:15.000 So you have...
00:23:16.000 Oh, wow.
00:23:16.000 That is crazy.
00:23:17.000 It's going to be nuts.
00:23:19.000 It'll probably be at SEMA this year in bare metal.
00:23:23.000 Whoa.
00:23:26.000 That's a beautiful car.
00:23:27.000 Don't have wagon wheels on it like that stupid thing, though.
00:23:30.000 Yeah, I'm not a fan of those.
00:23:31.000 That was a thing for a while.
00:23:33.000 That's going to be pretty fucking rad.
00:23:34.000 That's pretty badass.
00:23:36.000 Yeah, you don't see those.
00:23:38.000 You never see that car.
00:23:40.000 That's a rare car.
00:23:41.000 No, we found a one owner with zero hit, zero rust.
00:23:45.000 I mean, the metal orange is perfect.
00:23:46.000 What are those Australian cars that were in Mad Max?
00:23:48.000 It's finished now.
00:23:49.000 Ooh, damn.
00:23:50.000 That is going to look pretty nasty.
00:23:52.000 It's going to be slammed like that?
00:23:53.000 And it's going to be nasty, too.
00:23:55.000 We're aiming for around 1,300 horsepower.
00:23:58.000 What?!
00:24:01.000 We're building that one just for sheer shits and giggles and for fun, because nobody does that.
00:24:06.000 Well, somebody's gonna want it, for sure.
00:24:09.000 I hope they have a lot of money, because that's like a money pit right now.
00:24:15.000 Yeah, how much does something like that cost to build?
00:24:18.000 350. Wow.
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:20.000 To build.
00:24:20.000 And then how much would you like to make?
00:24:22.000 Well, you want to try to...
00:24:23.000 I always try to make at least 20%.
00:24:25.000 I mean, it's kind of my goal.
00:24:26.000 Right.
00:24:27.000 But...
00:24:27.000 That's reasonable.
00:24:28.000 Yeah.
00:24:29.000 Especially considering all the creative time and putting it together and...
00:24:33.000 Yeah, we do everything in-house.
00:24:35.000 I mean, it's...
00:24:36.000 Except for interior, we're doing every single thing in-house now.
00:24:38.000 I mean, we've come a long way since the beginning.
00:24:41.000 And when you have that kind of horsepower, what kind of rubber are you going to have on that thing?
00:24:45.000 Oh, it'll have 15 inches on each side.
00:24:48.000 I think we went with 24s and 22s and super, super wide.
00:24:54.000 Wow.
00:24:55.000 Yeah, you kind of have to, right?
00:24:57.000 And even then, it's probably going to spin out everywhere.
00:24:59.000 No, because we're using all the technology.
00:25:01.000 We're using the independent suspension.
00:25:02.000 We're using all the sensors, all the stuff that's in that brand new Vette.
00:25:07.000 So you can use traction control as well?
00:25:08.000 All of it.
00:25:09.000 Wow.
00:25:10.000 How do you adapt that over to an old car like that?
00:25:13.000 You just go through the systems.
00:25:15.000 We've got a guy working for us now that helped us run our standalone Hellcat.
00:25:20.000 Mm-hmm.
00:25:24.000 Mm-hmm.
00:25:31.000 And we end up with all the same technology.
00:25:34.000 So the sensors understand when a wheel's spinning.
00:25:37.000 And then they compensate with brakes or...
00:25:40.000 Horsepower, brakes, get your stupid light.
00:25:46.000 You can't do that.
00:25:47.000 So we'll be able to turn it all on and off just like a brand new car.
00:25:50.000 Oh, so will you have different modes, like a race mode, street mode, like that one?
00:25:54.000 Yeah, but what a lot of people...
00:25:56.000 What I try to do that I can't stand is they'll take something with that idea and they'll go, okay, I'm just going to pull the body off and cram this under there and weld it together and hope it works.
00:26:04.000 And we make everything adapt to the old car and still work, though, the way it's supposed to in a brand new car.
00:26:12.000 Yeah, I've seen, you know, there's a guy online that has, on Instagram, GT500 Super Swap.
00:26:19.000 He took an old GT500 body and put it on a GT500 from a modern chassis and piece it together like that.
00:26:28.000 But I was always thinking with a setup like that, you probably can't have airbags, right?
00:26:33.000 You can.
00:26:34.000 There's actually ways to add it into there.
00:26:36.000 But you get into the...
00:26:38.000 There it is.
00:26:38.000 Yeah, you get into the geometry and the direction of the airbag.
00:26:42.000 Look how beautiful that looks, though.
00:26:44.000 Yeah, but you don't want to play with the R&D of trying to put an airbag into something like that unless you really, really know what you're doing because a fraction of an inch off of being where it needs to be, that airbag could do more damage than good.
00:26:59.000 It's weird, though, because you're dealing with a totally different size body, too.
00:27:03.000 So I wonder how he's doing this.
00:27:07.000 It's easy.
00:27:08.000 It doesn't sound easy, but it is.
00:27:10.000 Is it really?
00:27:10.000 Have you done that before?
00:27:11.000 We haven't, but I understand the process.
00:27:14.000 And really, it's just cut, massage, move in, move out.
00:27:18.000 There's a company called Mag Motors.
00:27:20.000 Have you ever heard of them?
00:27:20.000 I don't think I have.
00:27:22.000 Go to magmotors.com.
00:27:25.000 What they're doing is they're putting a carbon fiber body on a modern GT500, but they're using a 67 Eleanor body, but they're making it out of carbon fiber.
00:27:37.000 So that one's gross.
00:27:38.000 Go to the silver one.
00:27:40.000 That white one looks disgusting.
00:27:41.000 I just hate the Eleanor bodies.
00:27:43.000 Do you really?
00:27:43.000 They're so overplayed.
00:27:44.000 How dare you?
00:27:45.000 It's just been done so many times.
00:27:48.000 But who cares?
00:27:48.000 It's amazing.
00:27:51.000 Yeah, those are the images.
00:27:52.000 But get it from the side so you get a better look at it.
00:27:55.000 That's a fucking beautiful car.
00:27:57.000 See, to me, it sits weird.
00:27:58.000 It looks like it sits a little too high, and it looks like they're worried.
00:28:03.000 I don't know anything about them, but to me, looking at it, it's like you need to get it down a little bit, get a little more attitude, get a deeper dish on the wheel.
00:28:11.000 Well, I think what they're doing is trying to use all the geometry of the modern car.
00:28:17.000 Correct.
00:28:17.000 So you end up with something that looks like it could go four-wheeling.
00:28:22.000 A little bit, right?
00:28:24.000 Yeah, it's definitely not slammed.
00:28:27.000 Yeah, in terms of looks, right?
00:28:30.000 Yes.
00:28:30.000 I mean, I'm sure the car runs and drives and performs unbelievably, but to me, it's missing a little something.
00:28:37.000 You know that company, Classic Recreations?
00:28:40.000 Have you seen them?
00:28:41.000 No, I don't think so.
00:28:42.000 They're doing similar cars like that, too, but they're doing it from the ground up.
00:28:47.000 There's a lot of people doing it because it's...
00:28:50.000 With technology coming the way that it has, it's not as hard to do as it used to be.
00:28:56.000 It's still a laborious task, don't get me wrong, but you can make all those systems work in anything.
00:29:02.000 See, a guy like you that's a car guy, you look at an Eleanor and you look at it like it's played.
00:29:07.000 But a person who doesn't see them all the time, who's not in the car industry, when was the last time you saw one of those fucking things on the street?
00:29:14.000 Shit, I was never seeing one.
00:29:16.000 There was like five of them for sale.
00:29:17.000 That's the thing.
00:29:18.000 If you go there.
00:29:19.000 But like, Fusion Motorsports, they're right down the street here.
00:29:22.000 They're the only licensed dealers.
00:29:24.000 They have some deal with the woman who was the wife of the guy who wrote Gone in 60 Seconds or produced or something like that.
00:29:34.000 So they make...
00:29:35.000 See, go to Fusion Eleanor.
00:29:38.000 They make some pretty sick ones.
00:29:40.000 But you think there's a played out?
00:29:42.000 Personally, yeah.
00:29:43.000 I'm just not an Eleanor Carr fan.
00:29:45.000 That is fucking beautiful.
00:29:47.000 Why do you hate America, Richard?
00:29:48.000 I don't hate America.
00:29:49.000 How could you not love that?
00:29:51.000 It's just, there's hundreds if not thousands of them out there.
00:29:55.000 Come on, bro.
00:29:56.000 You must hate America.
00:29:57.000 No way, man.
00:29:58.000 Secretly.
00:29:59.000 And I love the Mustangs.
00:30:00.000 I've got three of them myself, including a real 68 Shelby.
00:30:05.000 Is it the shape or the color scheme?
00:30:08.000 I think it's the shape.
00:30:09.000 I mean, to me, it's...
00:30:11.000 It's such a popular car in the movie that, you know...
00:30:14.000 Too many people did it.
00:30:15.000 And now everybody's doing it, and it's what have you.
00:30:19.000 Yeah, but I mean, how many of them are out there in comparison to, say, a modern ZR1? There's probably not nearly as many of those out there.
00:30:27.000 I bet you there's thousands of those out there.
00:30:27.000 You think so?
00:30:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:29.000 Really?
00:30:29.000 Yeah, there's different companies making tons of them.
00:30:32.000 All car people say that.
00:30:34.000 They say two cars they think are played out.
00:30:36.000 69 Camaros and these things.
00:30:38.000 Like, everybody does a 69 Camaro and everybody does an Eleanor.
00:30:41.000 Yeah, and the Duke's Hazard car.
00:30:43.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:44.000 Same thing.
00:30:45.000 Yeah.
00:30:45.000 Now, a badass 69 Charger, don't get me wrong, but painted orange with a flag on the top.
00:30:51.000 It's played out.
00:30:51.000 You can't do that anymore.
00:30:52.000 That flag is fucking persona non grata.
00:30:55.000 Yeah, that is.
00:30:56.000 For sure.
00:30:57.000 You believe they pulled that show off the air?
00:30:59.000 Did they?
00:30:59.000 Yes, because of the flag.
00:31:01.000 That shows off the air.
00:31:02.000 I thought it showed on some weird, obscure cable channel.
00:31:04.000 They pulled it off of TV Land.
00:31:06.000 Really?
00:31:07.000 Yep, TV Land.
00:31:08.000 I wrote a whole thing about it on Instagram, how ridiculous it was.
00:31:11.000 Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that.
00:31:12.000 I mean, it's like trying to erase it.
00:31:15.000 History or whatever.
00:31:16.000 Yeah.
00:31:17.000 Well, you live in Dallas, though.
00:31:19.000 It's a little easier to get by with a Confederate flag in Dallas.
00:31:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:23.000 We don't have a bunch of matcha chi drinkers and what have you like we do out here in California.
00:31:27.000 Matcha?
00:31:28.000 Yeah.
00:31:28.000 Freaking...
00:31:30.000 Living in Dallas, I have to do my business with the people out here in LA, and I'm getting off work before they've had their two chai lattes and walked their dog and showed up to the office.
00:31:43.000 I'm like, come on, guys.
00:31:44.000 Get up and get to work.
00:31:47.000 Then I get accused of, like, have you been drinking?
00:31:50.000 I'm like, yeah, it's 7.30 in the night here.
00:31:52.000 I've been off for two and a half hours.
00:31:54.000 People get upset at you if you've been drinking?
00:31:56.000 Well, no, when I'm trying to conduct some of the business calls that we do in the evenings because they haven't gotten to work yet.
00:32:01.000 And they ask you if you've actually been drinking?
00:32:03.000 Sometimes.
00:32:04.000 Really?
00:32:05.000 Is it because they know you from the show?
00:32:07.000 Well, I'm talking about my agents and managers and networks and whatever.
00:32:11.000 I'm like, yeah, because I've been off since 5 o'clock, guys.
00:32:15.000 Most people have a couple beers and sit around the shop.
00:32:18.000 Well, most people there, yeah.
00:32:20.000 Yeah, it's a different world out here.
00:32:22.000 It's a little bit of a culture shock.
00:32:24.000 It is.
00:32:24.000 I don't know.
00:32:26.000 I mean, I like it.
00:32:27.000 It's okay.
00:32:28.000 But I think if I was going to move Gas Monkey anywhere, it would probably be Scottsdale.
00:32:33.000 Scottsdale's nice.
00:32:34.000 It's freaking cool.
00:32:35.000 It's about a million degrees in the summer, though.
00:32:37.000 You ever go there?
00:32:38.000 Yeah, but it's a dry heat.
00:32:41.000 So's the sauna.
00:32:42.000 It's fucking preposterous.
00:32:44.000 I was in Phoenix last July, and we went outside.
00:32:49.000 We just stood there for a second going, this is ridiculous.
00:32:52.000 We should get used to this, because this is what global warming is going to be like in L.A. in just a few years.
00:32:56.000 Yeah, you guys are going to either be on fire from the volcanoes or global warming or whatever, or sliding into the ocean.
00:33:04.000 But I really like Scottsdale.
00:33:06.000 Fun fact.
00:33:07.000 Next week, they have me playing in the Scottsdale Open, in the Waste Management Open, there in the Celebrity Pro-Am.
00:33:14.000 Oh yeah?
00:33:15.000 Do you golf?
00:33:15.000 I absolutely suck at it.
00:33:17.000 Do you?
00:33:17.000 Like, horribly.
00:33:19.000 I've been a member of the same country club for about 19 years, and I've probably played about 50 rounds of golf in my life, and they've got me playing in the Pro-Am, the Celebrity thing, and I'm like, well, whoever gets teamed up with me...
00:33:31.000 That's in big trouble.
00:33:32.000 Are you going to tighten up before you go?
00:33:33.000 Are you going to take some lessons or anything?
00:33:35.000 No way, man.
00:33:36.000 I'm swinging.
00:33:37.000 Because the way I look at it is, all I'm going to do then is be pissed off that I can't do what the guy told me to do.
00:33:44.000 Right, so it's going to get much better.
00:33:46.000 And then it's like what I tell him on top of that is I'm like, okay, you think you're so good at golf because you can shoot 72 or whatever.
00:33:53.000 Well, mathematically, this is an 18-shot game.
00:33:57.000 Right.
00:33:58.000 You can figure it out mathematically.
00:34:00.000 Yeah, I mean, if you had some insane ability.
00:34:03.000 Well, yeah, but you don't have to have insane ability to figure out the mathematics of it.
00:34:08.000 It's an 18-shot game, guys.
00:34:11.000 Yeah, but no one's ever done that.
00:34:13.000 So how is it an 18-shot game?
00:34:15.000 Just mathematically.
00:34:16.000 That's like saying every fight is a one-punch fight.
00:34:19.000 Well, no.
00:34:20.000 It's more like saying that, because more fights are one-punch fights than ever a golf game is an 18-shot golf game.
00:34:27.000 I'm saying mathematically.
00:34:28.000 Propulsion, direction, etc.
00:34:30.000 and so forth.
00:34:31.000 You can get that ball from that spot to that hole every time.
00:34:34.000 It's possible with enough power.
00:34:38.000 Spin, what have you.
00:34:39.000 But that's literally like saying every fight is a one-shot fight.
00:34:43.000 No way.
00:34:43.000 Why?
00:34:44.000 Because a lot of fights are one-shot fights, but there's never been an 18-hole game that's played with 18 shots.
00:34:50.000 But there are hole-in-ones, so all you need is 18 of them together.
00:34:52.000 There's never been 18 of them.
00:34:53.000 It's never happened in the history of the human race.
00:34:55.000 I think the most they've ever done in an actual real tournament is two.
00:34:58.000 Someone's done two?
00:34:59.000 I think somebody did.
00:35:00.000 Wow.
00:35:00.000 I'd have to look it up.
00:35:01.000 But yeah, so one shot fight.
00:35:05.000 That'd probably be you fighting me.
00:35:06.000 You just hit me and I'd go down.
00:35:08.000 There's been quite a few that I've called.
00:35:12.000 One punch in the beginning of the fight.
00:35:13.000 Bam!
00:35:14.000 Someone gets hit and they go down.
00:35:15.000 At least three or four in the history of the fight.
00:35:17.000 Dwayne Ludwig, like six seconds.
00:35:20.000 First punch he threw.
00:35:22.000 That'd probably be me.
00:35:23.000 We already talked about working out, so I'd go down pretty quick.
00:35:26.000 I can't believe you've never worked out ever in your life.
00:35:28.000 I really haven't.
00:35:29.000 And you're thinking about starting.
00:35:32.000 More like just cardio and stuff.
00:35:33.000 I've turned 50 in two months, so I'm starting to feel it.
00:35:37.000 You know, I am a little bit.
00:35:38.000 It's a weird number, right?
00:35:39.000 It's a weird number, plus I look at my dad, and he's 23 years older than me, and I'm like, God, I've got 20 years left.
00:35:46.000 Holy shit!
00:35:49.000 Yeah, well, working now definitely holds off the Grim Reaper a little bit.
00:35:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:35:54.000 It keeps your body working better, but it takes effort.
00:35:57.000 You gotta be willing to do it.
00:35:58.000 Well, like I said, I just hope things work out.
00:36:01.000 Just hire a hot trainer.
00:36:02.000 Hire a chick that's gonna, you'll be motivated.
00:36:05.000 Or embarrassed.
00:36:06.000 Both.
00:36:08.000 You'll be embarrassed and that will get you motivated.
00:36:10.000 Yeah, this chick's like looking at me going, what is wrong with you?
00:36:13.000 What kind of man are you?
00:36:15.000 What kind of man?
00:36:16.000 Yeah, that is some embarrassing shit when a chick can lift more than you.
00:36:21.000 Yeah, well, I'm sure there's a lot of them.
00:36:23.000 Oh, there's a lot of them.
00:36:24.000 There's a lot of them around the block.
00:36:25.000 Yeah, well...
00:36:26.000 Right around the corner is a giant fucking bodybuilding gym.
00:36:29.000 For chicks?
00:36:31.000 For guys.
00:36:32.000 For everybody.
00:36:34.000 I mean, it's just savages.
00:36:35.000 I don't know.
00:36:36.000 I like an athletic build on a girl, but I don't know if I want her to have giant muscles and...
00:36:40.000 Yeah, there's a point of no return.
00:36:43.000 I don't want her to take bigger crunches than me.
00:36:45.000 Right.
00:36:45.000 Yeah.
00:36:46.000 There's a point where it gets creepy.
00:36:50.000 There's like a...
00:36:51.000 Yeah.
00:36:53.000 Roll over.
00:36:54.000 I'm holding her from behind, a little spoon, and I'm like, oh, is that you, Joe?
00:36:58.000 Yeah, like veins, right?
00:36:59.000 Like veiny forearms on chicks.
00:37:01.000 Like something about like veiny chest, like a girl with a veiny pecs.
00:37:07.000 Yeah.
00:37:07.000 No.
00:37:08.000 No, it didn't work.
00:37:08.000 It's a mistake.
00:37:09.000 They're not supposed to have pecs anyway.
00:37:11.000 They're supposed to have boobs.
00:37:12.000 Yeah.
00:37:12.000 But they have boobs combined with pecs.
00:37:15.000 That's where it gets real weird when they have fake boobs, but they also have pec muscles.
00:37:18.000 Oh, and you can feel the muscles underneath the fake boob?
00:37:20.000 Yeah.
00:37:21.000 He's like this water balloon that's floating on top of his sinew.
00:37:26.000 Yeah, they just get a little too crazy.
00:37:28.000 Now, that's one thing I do like about California here.
00:37:30.000 You know, the Southern California little blonde with all the tattoos and, you know, her little bikini on the beach and what have you.
00:37:37.000 They got those in Texas, though.
00:37:38.000 Eh, not as many.
00:37:40.000 They don't?
00:37:40.000 Yeah, we got them, but not as many.
00:37:42.000 I don't know.
00:37:42.000 Maybe I'm on Instagram too much.
00:37:46.000 It seems like every girl from Texas on Instagram has tattoos all over the place.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, but that's, you know, there's 20 of them, not hundreds of them.
00:37:55.000 Right, right, right.
00:37:56.000 Yeah, out here there's thousands.
00:37:57.000 They're everywhere.
00:37:58.000 Go to, like, Venice Beach.
00:38:00.000 It's hard to find a girl who doesn't have a tattoo.
00:38:01.000 That's unique these days.
00:38:02.000 That's a real rebel.
00:38:04.000 Yeah.
00:38:04.000 A girl with no piercings and no tattoos.
00:38:07.000 It's either rebel or boring.
00:38:09.000 Yeah.
00:38:10.000 Probably both.
00:38:14.000 She's rebelling against being exciting.
00:38:16.000 Yes.
00:38:17.000 I think the girl bodybuilder, though, what happens is people get into something and they forget how weird it is for everybody else.
00:38:23.000 So as they get deeper and deeper into it, they just want to excel at it.
00:38:27.000 They want to lift more weights.
00:38:29.000 They're trying to put more on the squat rack.
00:38:31.000 They're deadlifting.
00:38:32.000 Their neck gets big.
00:38:33.000 Yeah!
00:38:35.000 And I had a girl that worked for me for a long time that was real into it.
00:38:38.000 She was like this, I don't know what competition she does, but it was body sculpting and stuff.
00:38:43.000 And this girl's over there measuring florets of broccoli on a scale.
00:38:47.000 Oh, that's when they fucked up.
00:38:49.000 You want another one?
00:38:49.000 Yeah.
00:38:50.000 Whoa!
00:38:51.000 Oops.
00:38:52.000 Yeah.
00:38:53.000 Once they start measuring their food and counting their macros, like settle down.
00:38:57.000 Unless you're in some gigantic competition.
00:39:01.000 Cheers.
00:39:02.000 Cheers, sir.
00:39:02.000 Hell yeah.
00:39:03.000 I'll fix and break out some tequila for you in a minute.
00:39:06.000 Break it out, man.
00:39:07.000 We have cups?
00:39:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:39:08.000 You brought cups, too?
00:39:10.000 Unless this guy comes prepared.
00:39:13.000 Oh, you have gas monkey tequila?
00:39:14.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:39:16.000 You got your own tequila?
00:39:17.000 Dude, can I get a gas monkey t-shirt?
00:39:18.000 Do you have one?
00:39:19.000 I brought you one.
00:39:20.000 I fucking love that logo.
00:39:21.000 I got some of this crap down here.
00:39:23.000 Dude, I'll put one on right now.
00:39:24.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:39:27.000 Look at that.
00:39:28.000 Woo!
00:39:29.000 Got a couple of them here.
00:39:30.000 Nice.
00:39:32.000 Look at that, Jamie, huh?
00:39:34.000 Ellis.
00:39:37.000 Oh, yeah.
00:39:39.000 Nice.
00:39:40.000 Dude, that is cool.
00:39:41.000 Yeah, you guys have, like, the whole apparel line.
00:39:45.000 Dude, we have everything.
00:39:47.000 I mean, we've got tools.
00:39:48.000 We've got...
00:39:48.000 I saw a bath mat the other day at, like, Home Goods or something, and I'm like, I don't even remember approving that.
00:39:53.000 Yeah.
00:39:55.000 Is it for sure yours?
00:39:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:39:57.000 It's a licensed product.
00:40:00.000 Well, that's part of the thing, right?
00:40:02.000 You guys came up with a cool logo.
00:40:04.000 Yeah, and the monkey's, you know, he's that lovable character that's also a pain in the ass and kind of in there messing stuff up all the time, but you can't shoot him because he's just...
00:40:14.000 That's what he does.
00:40:15.000 He's a monkey.
00:40:16.000 And what have you.
00:40:17.000 So we did the gas monkey cinnamon tequila.
00:40:19.000 This is...
00:40:21.000 It's cinnamon?
00:40:21.000 Yeah.
00:40:23.000 It's 100% blue agave just swirled with a little bit of cinnamon.
00:40:26.000 Nice.
00:40:27.000 My kid's got a soccer game after this.
00:40:29.000 I'm going to be fucked up.
00:40:30.000 Good times.
00:40:31.000 Well, it's a good way to get through the game.
00:40:33.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:40:38.000 That's actually good.
00:40:39.000 It's good stuff.
00:40:40.000 Don't tell Ron White, but I think your tequila's better.
00:40:44.000 He'll get mad.
00:40:45.000 Really?
00:40:45.000 He can't hear this.
00:40:46.000 He'll get mad at me.
00:40:46.000 He loves his tequila.
00:40:48.000 We came up with this because the only tequila you ever find is made in America.
00:40:53.000 Really?
00:40:53.000 Because you have to do Jalisco, you know, real blue agave tequila is always Echua Mexico from Jalisco.
00:41:01.000 To get around that, I ship it in, in tankers, and then I do it here.
00:41:06.000 So we're switching our distillers right now, and we'll be made in Texas.
00:41:14.000 So you can't grow it in America?
00:41:16.000 You can't grow the agave in America?
00:41:17.000 You could, but a real tequila, just like champagne in France, you know, real tequila is always from Jalisco area and what have you.
00:41:28.000 How weird is that?
00:41:29.000 It's like Burgundy, right?
00:41:30.000 Burgundy is from...
00:41:31.000 Or Bordeaux.
00:41:32.000 Bordeaux, exactly.
00:41:33.000 A certain part of France.
00:41:36.000 That's funny.
00:41:37.000 I guess I kind of knew that.
00:41:39.000 I didn't think about that.
00:41:41.000 That's weird.
00:41:42.000 Whiskey can make anywhere.
00:41:43.000 We're literally sold out right now worldwide.
00:41:45.000 Really?
00:41:45.000 Yeah.
00:41:46.000 I took it to the troops.
00:41:47.000 We went and did a deal with the PX exchanges on all the bases in the world, and they wiped me out.
00:41:54.000 Wow.
00:41:55.000 And so we're having to make it right now.
00:41:57.000 We're completely sold out everywhere.
00:41:59.000 That's fucking great.
00:42:00.000 I had to borrow a couple of bottles from somebody that was hoarding them.
00:42:03.000 That is a fucking dope logo, though.
00:42:05.000 That monkey with the tongue hanging out.
00:42:07.000 Now, you have that on the outside of your garage.
00:42:09.000 Do you get a bunch of looky-loos and find out where you guys are?
00:42:11.000 Oh, we do it on purpose.
00:42:12.000 We've got a little spot where people can come by and see the cars.
00:42:14.000 We've got a building there, and then we've got a merch shop.
00:42:17.000 And inside the merch shop, you can go in the back, and there's like a party area where you can have a...
00:42:21.000 I don't sell beer or alcohol, but you can have a gas monkey energy drink or water and kind of feel like you're in the experience.
00:42:29.000 Wow, so you let people just come on down and say hi.
00:42:32.000 I really do.
00:42:34.000 Everybody can come by.
00:42:36.000 We're on Earthcam right now.
00:42:39.000 Pull up Earthcam, Gas Monkey.
00:42:41.000 We can see how many people are there.
00:42:42.000 Do you get stalked by weirdos because of the TV show?
00:42:45.000 Oh, yeah.
00:42:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:46.000 You know what really freaking sucks in Texas?
00:42:49.000 This is no bullshit.
00:42:50.000 I didn't find this out until we got stalked.
00:42:51.000 There it is.
00:42:52.000 Live cam.
00:42:53.000 What really sucks?
00:42:55.000 Somebody comes on my property and they're weird.
00:42:57.000 And I gotta tell them to leave.
00:42:58.000 Or they're aggressive or whatever.
00:43:00.000 And I go, get the hell off the property.
00:43:03.000 Get out of here.
00:43:03.000 Beat it.
00:43:04.000 For the next 24 hours, I'm responsible for them.
00:43:07.000 If they leave and get run over at the corner or whatever because I made them leave, I forced them from the property, they're my responsibility.
00:43:17.000 What?
00:43:18.000 It fucking sucks.
00:43:19.000 So if a guy shows up drunk and you say, hey man, you gotta get the fuck out of here, and the guy leaves and gets in a car accident...
00:43:25.000 He could say, hey, they made me leave.
00:43:27.000 What?
00:43:29.000 Yeah.
00:43:30.000 You know, so the drunk ones, I'll put them in an Uber, but I'm talking about just the crazy ones.
00:43:34.000 You know, we've got a homeless problem in Dallas.
00:43:36.000 It's starting to get to be about as big as you guys are having here.
00:43:39.000 And they'll wander on your property and we're like, hey, you got to beat it.
00:43:43.000 And then if they go down the street and get hit...
00:43:45.000 Yeah, I'm responsible.
00:43:46.000 Then you're responsible for their medical bills?
00:43:48.000 Can be.
00:43:49.000 What?
00:43:49.000 It's the stupidest freaking law on the planet.
00:43:51.000 Is that like a hospitality law?
00:43:54.000 Is it because you're a business?
00:43:54.000 I don't know because I don't sell alcohol, but it's because I'm a business and I made them leave.
00:43:58.000 They came to see me and I made them leave.
00:43:59.000 They didn't leave on their own accord.
00:44:03.000 So we have to call the cops to get them to carry those people out.
00:44:06.000 That's so weird.
00:44:07.000 I went to Jay Leno's garage, and he's telling me that, you know, Jay Leno's garage is not Jay Leno's garage.
00:44:13.000 It's Jay Leno's 11 garages.
00:44:15.000 Oh, I know.
00:44:16.000 I've been there.
00:44:16.000 I've done the Jay Leno show.
00:44:18.000 It's freaking crazy.
00:44:19.000 I mean, I knew that guy was a car nut, but I didn't know the magnitude until you go and you see these 11 warehouse buildings.
00:44:25.000 Just full.
00:44:26.000 Full cars.
00:44:27.000 He's got a real problem.
00:44:29.000 No, he's got a great problem.
00:44:31.000 He's got a great problem.
00:44:32.000 I'm only up to two buildings.
00:44:34.000 I need to start adding buildings.
00:44:35.000 How many cars do you personally own?
00:44:37.000 It's hard to answer because I own Gas Monkey and so we have inventory.
00:44:42.000 I tell everybody I usually keep between 50 and 60 cars.
00:44:46.000 That are yours?
00:44:47.000 That are sort of for sale.
00:44:50.000 Someone comes along and goes, man, I need that car.
00:44:53.000 You're like, what?
00:44:53.000 But there's about 10 that I won't sell, period.
00:44:56.000 What won't you sell?
00:44:57.000 I won't sell my Thomas Crown Affair Mustang, my Shelby.
00:45:02.000 What is that?
00:45:04.000 What year?
00:45:05.000 68. You can probably find a picture of that on the net, but it's a remake of the one they used in Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Bronson when he's on the island.
00:45:13.000 I never saw that movie.
00:45:14.000 It's all lifted.
00:45:15.000 I don't think I've never seen a Pierce Bronson movie.
00:45:18.000 Oh, dude.
00:45:18.000 Thomas Crown Affair is a remake of another Thomas Crown Affair movie, and the Mustang's just wicked cool.
00:45:25.000 So I had a client, a friend of mine had me build it for him, good friend, and I wanted the car.
00:45:31.000 Of course, I couldn't afford it then.
00:45:32.000 We didn't even have the TV show yet.
00:45:34.000 And so I built him this perfect rendition, 68 Shelby convertible Mustang, put BF Goodrich's on it, raised it all up high.
00:45:42.000 I mean, it's a perfect California cruiser.
00:45:44.000 And then when I got the show...
00:45:46.000 I call him up and I go, hey, can I borrow the car, buddy?
00:45:49.000 Because I want stuff sitting around the shop that I built.
00:45:52.000 I don't want other people's stuff here.
00:45:54.000 He goes, oh yeah, man, just send the truck down to pick it up.
00:45:57.000 This is three years later.
00:45:59.000 I send the truck down.
00:46:00.000 It gets back.
00:46:00.000 The car's got 42 miles on it.
00:46:02.000 It's been sitting there doing nothing in his garage.
00:46:04.000 He's down in New Orleans, so it's got some of that haze and shit from the salt air.
00:46:09.000 There it is.
00:46:11.000 The gas is bad.
00:46:12.000 Wow, that is really hot.
00:46:14.000 It looks like you're going four-wheeling in that fucking thing.
00:46:16.000 What is going on with the tire on the trunk?
00:46:18.000 That's the spare.
00:46:19.000 I know, but that's...
00:46:22.000 An odd placement.
00:46:23.000 That's just how it was in the movie.
00:46:25.000 Really?
00:46:25.000 Yeah.
00:46:26.000 Wow.
00:46:27.000 Golly, am I fat there or what?
00:46:29.000 Is that you?
00:46:30.000 I don't know.
00:46:31.000 No, that's not the one I built.
00:46:33.000 That's not you, bro.
00:46:34.000 That's another guy's car.
00:46:35.000 Some fucking asshole.
00:46:36.000 And it's just not quite right.
00:46:38.000 Mine is more absolutely perfect to the movie.
00:46:42.000 That's somebody else's rendition of it.
00:46:44.000 But anyways, I call my buddy.
00:46:46.000 I go, let me borrow the car, etc.
00:46:47.000 Gets there with 42 miles on it after three years.
00:46:50.000 It doesn't run.
00:46:51.000 The gas is bad.
00:46:51.000 Carburetor's all fucked off.
00:46:53.000 And of course, I call him up and go, you're a really shitty car owner.
00:46:57.000 I said, this thing is freaking badass and look what you've done to it.
00:47:00.000 Well, he has a considerable amount of money.
00:47:03.000 So the next day, the title shows up in the mail and he goes, you're right.
00:47:06.000 I'm a shitty car owner.
00:47:07.000 It's yours.
00:47:08.000 He just gave it to you?
00:47:09.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:47:10.000 Jesus Christ.
00:47:11.000 It helps to have close friends that have a lot of cash.
00:47:15.000 Well, you must obviously like you, too.
00:47:18.000 Nah, we're real good friends.
00:47:19.000 He's a bad motherfucker.
00:47:21.000 Well, I want to see what it actually looks like without the fat guy driving.
00:47:23.000 No disrespect, fat guy.
00:47:25.000 Yeah.
00:47:27.000 Looking at it, because I can see where...
00:47:29.000 If you don't work out at all, how do you stay thin?
00:47:32.000 Because you're a thin guy.
00:47:33.000 I guess it's just metabolism.
00:47:34.000 I do eat right.
00:47:35.000 I don't eat fast food.
00:47:37.000 But you drink.
00:47:37.000 I don't do sodas.
00:47:39.000 I haven't done sodas or anything like that in two decades.
00:47:42.000 But how often do you drink?
00:47:44.000 Every day.
00:47:45.000 Every day.
00:47:46.000 Doesn't that cancel out all the no sodas?
00:47:50.000 I don't know.
00:47:51.000 I mean, maybe it's because it doesn't have as much sugar.
00:47:53.000 I think you must have a beer drinker's metabolism.
00:47:56.000 You just know how to do it.
00:47:58.000 Yeah, it takes a lot of practice to get it to this point.
00:48:01.000 Your body's ready.
00:48:02.000 I'm ready for anything.
00:48:03.000 Everybody knows what the fuck to do.
00:48:04.000 It's like a marathon runner.
00:48:05.000 Everybody can't run fucking 15 miles a day, but someone who runs 15 miles a day can do it.
00:48:11.000 Yeah, that's one thing that's just monotonous to me running.
00:48:15.000 My wife's a runner, and I'm like, that's just silly.
00:48:21.000 Why do you want to get out and go run 20 miles?
00:48:24.000 I don't run 20 miles, but I run hills.
00:48:26.000 I run four.
00:48:28.000 Four is the most I run, but I run pretty steep hills.
00:48:32.000 There's your car.
00:48:34.000 Is that it?
00:48:36.000 That's the same fat guy right there, Jamie.
00:48:39.000 There's a couple versions of it, and a lot of the websites are pulling both pictures.
00:48:42.000 Drop down to the one right below that where your cursor is.
00:48:44.000 That one right there, that's the real one.
00:48:46.000 That one right there?
00:48:47.000 Yeah, that's the real one.
00:48:49.000 That's the real one, yeah.
00:48:50.000 This is a nice car.
00:48:51.000 It's so much fun.
00:48:53.000 I've got a banging, stupid sound system in it, so, you know.
00:48:57.000 Roll bar, the whole deal.
00:48:58.000 It'd be a great car to cruise around in California.
00:49:00.000 What kind of engines you put in that thing?
00:49:01.000 Just the typical small block.
00:49:03.000 It's a GT350, so it's got a small block 302 and what have you.
00:49:09.000 It's a pretty fun time.
00:49:11.000 It gets a lot of heads.
00:49:12.000 And then we were talking about cars I wouldn't sell.
00:49:14.000 I got that.
00:49:14.000 I got a 52 Fleetline.
00:49:15.000 That was the first car we ever built as Gas Monkey Garage.
00:49:18.000 What is a Fleetline?
00:49:19.000 I don't even know what that is.
00:49:20.000 You can type in 52 Fleetline Gas Monkey.
00:49:23.000 It's the fastback version of a 52 Chevy.
00:49:28.000 It kind of has the slope back.
00:49:29.000 Some people call it a torpedo back.
00:49:32.000 Look at that thing.
00:49:33.000 Yeah, not that one.
00:49:34.000 The picture on the far corner.
00:49:37.000 Yeah, that's us.
00:49:38.000 And it's all patinated out and kind of, you know...
00:49:41.000 Oh, so you kept it like that?
00:49:43.000 Yeah, that was the original body.
00:49:44.000 We chopped it, though, and it's got...
00:49:48.000 Wow, people love that.
00:49:49.000 Like, the original patinated out body.
00:49:52.000 Like, Icon does that.
00:49:53.000 They call them derelicts.
00:49:55.000 That's a good picture of the car, yeah.
00:49:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, derelicts.
00:49:57.000 Yeah.
00:49:58.000 And then we got, what else do we have?
00:50:00.000 I got my first Ferrari I ever bought.
00:50:01.000 I won't sell that, as far as the first one I ever bought for me.
00:50:05.000 What is it?
00:50:05.000 599 GTV 2009. Oh, that's a nice car.
00:50:09.000 Super good car.
00:50:10.000 And, you know, then...
00:50:12.000 I had a couple other Ferraris, but I'd probably sell those.
00:50:14.000 But that one, first one, I just probably never will.
00:50:18.000 Just because it's like a benchmark?
00:50:21.000 I'm a big proponent and believer in forcing yourself.
00:50:26.000 Forcing yourself?
00:50:28.000 To want more, to do more, to give yourself motivation.
00:50:31.000 A lot of people just save and save and save.
00:50:33.000 And I'm more like, okay, I'm going to do something that I probably shouldn't do right now so that I know I got to work hard to make sure I don't have to give it up.
00:50:40.000 Dude, I'm with you.
00:50:40.000 Yeah.
00:50:41.000 That's me.
00:50:42.000 I talk my friends into that shit.
00:50:43.000 I talk my friend Tony into buying a Corvette when he can't afford it.
00:50:46.000 Yeah.
00:50:46.000 I talk my friend Brendan into buying a GT3 RS. Yeah.
00:50:49.000 So it's the same thing.
00:50:51.000 I mean, I bought the car when I probably shouldn't, but the show was going and I was like, this will make me work harder.
00:50:56.000 It sits in the corner when I'm doing it.
00:50:58.000 I get up in the morning and I go, I gotta make sure that I can afford that, so let's go do it.
00:51:03.000 Dude, I believe in that wholeheartedly.
00:51:05.000 And people say you're ridiculous and I go, yeah.
00:51:08.000 Exactly.
00:51:08.000 Well, when I was young, when I first got into printing and advertising, shit, I could barely make rent.
00:51:14.000 I think I was buying my suits at a resale shop, but I would go to Neiman's and look around and think about what I was going to buy, just putting the motivation in my head.
00:51:24.000 I guess there's a big movement now with making your imagination bored or whatever.
00:51:28.000 Those people are assholes.
00:51:29.000 Yeah, my shit just wanted to be real.
00:51:31.000 Just put it in your head.
00:51:32.000 That vision board?
00:51:34.000 Yeah.
00:51:34.000 I get it if you're 20 and you're doing that and you don't know any better.
00:51:38.000 Yeah, my vision board's the old poster of the rock band with some weed in there.
00:51:44.000 That looks like a great vision.
00:51:46.000 Yeah, that's the real vision board.
00:51:48.000 Yeah, I'm a big believer in doing...
00:51:51.000 This is what I say to someone who can buy...
00:51:54.000 If you can actually buy a Ferrari, I'm like, listen, man, if you don't, who will?
00:51:59.000 If you're an 18-year-old kid and you got no money, and you said, man, if I had enough to buy a Ferrari...
00:52:05.000 Oh, God, I'd be so happy I'd buy that thing.
00:52:08.000 Well, you should do it if you can.
00:52:09.000 Yeah.
00:52:10.000 If you can, you should do it.
00:52:11.000 And is it too much money?
00:52:12.000 Yeah, it's definitely too much money.
00:52:14.000 That's part of the whole point of the whole thing.
00:52:17.000 Correct.
00:52:17.000 Yeah.
00:52:18.000 To me, I use it more as motivation.
00:52:21.000 Yes.
00:52:21.000 You know, can I afford this?
00:52:23.000 And then if you tell yourself no, you go, well, then I'm going to.
00:52:26.000 I'm going to afford it.
00:52:28.000 I'm going to figure it out.
00:52:29.000 Exactly.
00:52:29.000 I feel that way about everything.
00:52:31.000 So do I. That's been my mantra forever.
00:52:33.000 People are like, oh, you know, you got lucky you did this, you did that.
00:52:36.000 I'm like, I worked my fucking ass off my whole life.
00:52:38.000 Yeah.
00:52:39.000 Well, you definitely got lucky you didn't get hit by a meteor.
00:52:41.000 You got lucky for a lot of things.
00:52:42.000 Well, yeah.
00:52:43.000 You got lucky you didn't get home invaded.
00:52:45.000 You got a lot, a lot of luck.
00:52:46.000 There's a lot of luck.
00:52:47.000 But I'll tell you, your past guest, Mr. Elon Musk there, he kind of ruined it for us because now we actually have a possibility of getting in a car wreck in space.
00:52:57.000 Yeah, you could get in a car wreck in space because that car's just floating around out there.
00:53:00.000 What if that car slams into a fucking alien spaceship that's coming to save us and Elon Musk just frivolously shot that fucking thing into orbit?
00:53:09.000 He did!
00:53:09.000 He just shot it up there and they let him with a robot sitting in the front seat.
00:53:13.000 You know what we were joking around about?
00:53:14.000 Like, what if that guy in the front seat is actually a guy who fucked his wife and he decided to kill that guy and stick him in a fucking space suit and shoot him into orbit?
00:53:23.000 See, I don't get that.
00:53:24.000 Why do you want to be mad at the guy if he does that?
00:53:26.000 You gotta be mad at your wife.
00:53:27.000 I agree.
00:53:28.000 I'm with you on that, too.
00:53:30.000 I wouldn't be mad.
00:53:31.000 If I came home and a dude was banging my wife, I'd go, listen, bro, I get it.
00:53:35.000 You, though, you gotta go.
00:53:37.000 Me and your good talk.
00:53:41.000 Depends on what he looks like, too.
00:53:42.000 I mean, if he's like Aquaman, to her, I'd tell her, I get it.
00:53:46.000 Yeah, sometimes you gotta do that.
00:53:48.000 Yeah, I get it.
00:53:49.000 Yeah.
00:53:52.000 Oh, we're going again?
00:53:53.000 We're going again, bro.
00:53:54.000 This stuff will sneak up on you.
00:53:57.000 I've been getting snuck up on since the 80s.
00:54:00.000 Salute.
00:54:05.000 Perfect.
00:54:06.000 It's so good, though, isn't it?
00:54:07.000 It is good.
00:54:07.000 It's smooth.
00:54:08.000 I like the cinnamon, too.
00:54:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:11.000 And it's a party drink.
00:54:12.000 For a real tequila enthusiast, though, is that like sacrilege?
00:54:16.000 Is that like an electric Mustang?
00:54:18.000 Oh, yeah.
00:54:19.000 But that's what the monkey has always done.
00:54:21.000 You know, it's like playing the golf thing.
00:54:23.000 I decided to launch Gas Monkey Golf apparel line.
00:54:27.000 So I'll be wearing my golf shirt out there, and it's pretty crazy.
00:54:31.000 It's got a skull and all kinds of crap or whatever.
00:54:33.000 But whether I'm pushing the envelope as the monkeys, our tagline is snapping tees and filling holes.
00:54:43.000 Now when you bring that to the country club, do people say, sir, that attire is unforgivable here?
00:54:48.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:54:49.000 I've been thrown out of my own country club plenty of times.
00:54:51.000 Have you really?
00:54:52.000 And I've bought a lot of golf carts because I've crashed them because I thought it was fun.
00:54:56.000 You've been thrown out of your own country club?
00:54:58.000 A bunch of times.
00:54:59.000 Really?
00:55:00.000 For what?
00:55:00.000 Just raising too much hell.
00:55:02.000 You know, it's almost like the old Rodney Daydream movies.
00:55:06.000 You know, it's like, sir, you can't do that in here.
00:55:08.000 And I was like, ha, well, I'm going to do it twice.
00:55:11.000 Caddyshack.
00:55:12.000 All time.
00:55:13.000 Exactly.
00:55:14.000 Now, what do they say to you?
00:55:17.000 They usually just take me home, because I live on the course, so they'll drive me down there.
00:55:22.000 Oh, so you have a house on the course.
00:55:24.000 I did.
00:55:25.000 I live downtown in Dallas now, but...
00:55:28.000 The worst one was I decided to drive my Harley home on the golf course one night.
00:55:33.000 On the grass?
00:55:34.000 No, I stayed to the cart path.
00:55:35.000 I'm not a complete asshole.
00:55:37.000 But I did drive it home at about 1.30 or 2 in the morning, and my house is probably the furthest house from the clubhouse.
00:55:44.000 And that thing is friggin' loud when you're in that, you know, this trench of a golf course.
00:55:49.000 Right.
00:55:50.000 The cops were waiting on me when I got home.
00:55:52.000 Wow.
00:55:53.000 But thank God they were renting the cops.
00:55:55.000 I was like, you can't do anything.
00:55:56.000 I'm going inside.
00:55:57.000 Fake golf course cops?
00:55:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:55:58.000 You know, the community cops.
00:56:00.000 Community cops.
00:56:01.000 That's adorable.
00:56:02.000 I got a good one for you.
00:56:03.000 I actually got arrested at this country club.
00:56:05.000 Well, at my house.
00:56:08.000 I wouldn't say arrested because they ended up letting me go.
00:56:10.000 But they did come cuff me and put me away.
00:56:15.000 We're coming home from a Christmas extravaganza, which I do with my buddies every year right before Christmas.
00:56:20.000 We get a big card.
00:56:22.000 We pile in and we go Christmas shopping for our families and what have you.
00:56:26.000 Coming home loaded.
00:56:28.000 I supposedly threw a burrito from like Taco Bell or something and hit the guard.
00:56:35.000 So there's four, three or four of my buddies.
00:56:37.000 We get to my house.
00:56:38.000 We pig out on shitty Taco Bell food, you know, until everybody passes out.
00:56:43.000 And the next thing I know, the cop lights are on, banging on the door.
00:56:46.000 Get out here.
00:56:46.000 I come to the door going, Why?
00:56:49.000 You know, after you've been drinking and you do a bunch of food, you're fucking gone.
00:56:53.000 And so, long story short, they said, well, you're going to be arrested for assault if you don't go down and say you're sorry to this guy.
00:57:01.000 Assault with a burrito?
00:57:02.000 Correct, right?
00:57:04.000 Listen, if you charge a man with assault because he throws a burrito at you, you should turn in your card.
00:57:11.000 But we watched the tape.
00:57:12.000 It was not like throwing it at him.
00:57:14.000 It's not like I barreled him with a baseball right here.
00:57:16.000 I like chunked it to him to eat, but he didn't see it coming, and so it like slapped him and fell down.
00:57:20.000 So they cuffed me.
00:57:22.000 They take me down to the guardhouse.
00:57:24.000 They cuffed you?
00:57:24.000 Yeah, they put me in the back of the cop car cuffing.
00:57:26.000 Fake cops?
00:57:27.000 No, these are real ones.
00:57:28.000 Oh, real cops.
00:57:28.000 Yeah, he filed a report.
00:57:29.000 Oh, God.
00:57:30.000 And so...
00:57:31.000 This is how stupid it gets.
00:57:33.000 Shame.
00:57:33.000 By then, I'm so freaking loaded, right?
00:57:36.000 And I get there, and the burrito's still on the ground like it's evidence or some shit.
00:57:40.000 And they're telling me I gotta apologize to this guy, and all I can focus on is, there's a perfectly good fucking burrito right here.
00:57:46.000 I'm gonna eat this burrito.
00:57:47.000 So...
00:57:48.000 I sit down and literally start eating the burrito.
00:57:51.000 Oh, God.
00:57:52.000 And they're like, please just tell them you're sorry so you can go back home.
00:57:54.000 And I'm like, okay.
00:57:55.000 So I tell them I'm sorry.
00:57:57.000 I'm still eating the burrito.
00:57:58.000 And they just left me there, like a mile from my house at the card shack.
00:58:02.000 You walk home a mile drunk.
00:58:06.000 Well, did you see the guy since then?
00:58:08.000 Oh, gosh, no.
00:58:09.000 I was like, dude, that was perfectly, I mean, back, this was in the days before the sprinters were so popular, so it was like a stretch limo, which is, you know, you just really don't ride it anymore.
00:58:18.000 And I was like, that's a hell of a shot.
00:58:20.000 I came out of the back window, 120 inches up to the front, hit the guy square in the fucking chest.
00:58:25.000 I should get a medal for that.
00:58:28.000 Assault.
00:58:29.000 What kind of a man?
00:58:31.000 Might be a plus in here.
00:58:32.000 A salt with a burrito is probably the first time we've had that here in your little podcast room.
00:58:37.000 I definitely think it's the first time.
00:58:39.000 It seems like you'd just be able to say, hey, I just threw it to you because I was drunk.
00:58:44.000 I thought you were hungry.
00:58:45.000 That's really what it was.
00:58:47.000 I mean, you could hear me on the video going, hey, you want a burrito?
00:58:51.000 And it was pretty ridiculous.
00:58:54.000 The guy got his man card yanked for sure.
00:58:56.000 Yeah, what someone calls a salt.
00:58:58.000 Like, how dare you?
00:58:59.000 Some people get beat into a pulp, and you're calling a Taco Bell burrito flying your way.
00:59:04.000 That thing costs $1.99, dude.
00:59:08.000 And it's barely meat.
00:59:09.000 We were going over, like, how much of...
00:59:12.000 Like, there's a ruling on how much meat it actually has to be, where you can call it a beef burrito, but there's fillers in that shit.
00:59:22.000 Like, what is the filler?
00:59:24.000 Was it, like, silicone or something like that?
00:59:25.000 But it's something ridiculous, like 34% of it is not actually meat.
00:59:29.000 Ugh!
00:59:30.000 That's why, I mean, that was 10 years ago.
00:59:34.000 Yeah, back then it was probably 80% for the internet.
00:59:37.000 Yeah.
00:59:38.000 They just, they can pretend it's meat.
00:59:40.000 Well, the cool thing, Taco Bell now is starting to open all their ones up with bars inside there.
00:59:45.000 What?
00:59:45.000 Yeah!
00:59:46.000 Well, that's good for business, you know?
00:59:48.000 Get people more drunk because they don't care what the food tastes like.
00:59:50.000 Exactly.
00:59:51.000 Get them all tanked up, feed them some burritos, and send them on their way.
00:59:53.000 I haven't eaten Taco Bell in decades.
00:59:55.000 It's been since then.
00:59:57.000 You know, it's wild.
00:59:58.000 There's some real legit, because we're in LA. I mean, you're in Texas, but there's legit Mexican places near you, I'm sure.
01:00:04.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:04.000 But, like, there's legit taquerias here where, you know, you go in there, the Mexican soap operas are playing, nobody speaks English.
01:00:11.000 Novellas!
01:00:11.000 You gotta point the shit and say things.
01:00:13.000 You gotta roll your arse.
01:00:15.000 Lengua.
01:00:15.000 Lengua quesadilla.
01:00:17.000 Yeah.
01:00:17.000 You gotta speak the lingo.
01:00:18.000 See, I can't do the lingua stuff.
01:00:20.000 That's the tongue, right?
01:00:22.000 Yeah.
01:00:22.000 I can't do that.
01:00:23.000 Oh, shit.
01:00:23.000 Oh, I don't like it.
01:00:24.000 You never have it?
01:00:25.000 No.
01:00:25.000 I have tried everything.
01:00:26.000 I mean...
01:00:26.000 Oh, man.
01:00:27.000 You gotta try it.
01:00:28.000 Elk tongue tacos.
01:00:30.000 I just, why?
01:00:31.000 They're fucking delicious.
01:00:33.000 I don't know.
01:00:34.000 It's so good.
01:00:35.000 It's one of the most tender meats you could ever have.
01:00:37.000 Like the most tender pot roast ever.
01:00:39.000 Really?
01:00:40.000 It's amazing.
01:00:41.000 If I ever get a chance.
01:00:42.000 There's a place right here on Canoga, like maybe a few miles away from here.
01:00:46.000 How good is that place, Jamie?
01:00:47.000 When I come to California, I'm not trying to get some elk tongue, I promise you.
01:00:50.000 Well, elk tongue's in the freezer, but the cow tongue's what they have out here.
01:00:56.000 Yeah, cow tongue.
01:00:57.000 Elk tongue's mine.
01:00:59.000 But, uh, lengua quesadillas, you know, you don't fuck with that?
01:01:02.000 Mm-mm.
01:01:02.000 Lengua tacos?
01:01:03.000 Uh, no.
01:01:04.000 And I don't do the, uh, whatever that milk drink is.
01:01:06.000 What do they call that?
01:01:07.000 Oh, horchata?
01:01:08.000 Yeah, no.
01:01:09.000 Horchata's rough.
01:01:10.000 Because, you know, there's no fucking safety standards with that.
01:01:13.000 No one knows what's in there.
01:01:14.000 It could be anything.
01:01:15.000 Yeah, it's like really shitty eggnog, and eggnog is shitty.
01:01:18.000 It's at least 6% jizz, too.
01:01:20.000 At least.
01:01:20.000 For sure.
01:01:23.000 Depending on who's working there and how disgruntled.
01:01:27.000 But you do carne asada, right?
01:01:30.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:01:31.000 Yeah, I've got a couple of bars and restaurants down in Texas, and so we sell a lot of Tex-Mex fusion.
01:01:36.000 Tex-Mex is a different kind of flavor.
01:01:38.000 It's a different thing.
01:01:39.000 People that don't know what queso is, queso in Texas is like a staple.
01:01:47.000 Correct.
01:01:48.000 Yeah.
01:01:48.000 Out here, no one knows what the fuck queso is.
01:01:50.000 You say, I want to get some queso and chips.
01:01:52.000 They're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:01:53.000 Danny Trejo's does.
01:01:54.000 Yeah.
01:01:55.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:01:55.000 There's a few places.
01:01:57.000 There's a few legit Mexican places.
01:01:58.000 I like a real good, legit Lotus.
01:02:00.000 You know, the corn with all the mayonnaise and the sour cream in Yeah.
01:02:04.000 I could get down on some of that for sure.
01:02:06.000 Texas is a different fucking country.
01:02:08.000 It really is.
01:02:09.000 Well, where I'm at in Dallas, literally I can go to the corner gas station and there's a lady there just sawing the corn off the cob and puts it in the styrofoam cup and squirts all the crap in there.
01:02:19.000 I can make myself sick on that stuff.
01:02:21.000 Yeah.
01:02:23.000 Yeah, I wonder why Tex-Mex is so much different.
01:02:27.000 Because there's no California-Mex, right?
01:02:29.000 But Tex-Mex is a legit...
01:02:31.000 Well, y'all would never allow that word to be said anyways.
01:02:33.000 California-Mex?
01:02:34.000 We probably just pissed off 72,000 people.
01:02:38.000 That's just a regular podcast for me.
01:02:40.000 I know, right?
01:02:42.000 He said California Mex.
01:02:43.000 Try ordering license plate.
01:02:45.000 California is Mexico, asshole.
01:02:48.000 We stole it.
01:02:50.000 We stole it from the Mexicans.
01:02:54.000 Exactly.
01:02:54.000 Yeah.
01:02:55.000 What do you think about this wall bullshit?
01:02:58.000 Open it up.
01:02:59.000 Let all those poor people in here.
01:03:00.000 Give them jobs.
01:03:01.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:03:02.000 Tax it, yeah.
01:03:03.000 I mean, I don't want criminals.
01:03:05.000 I don't want criminals coming through.
01:03:07.000 How about we filter out gang members and criminals?
01:03:10.000 I wish there was a way to tell.
01:03:12.000 There's not.
01:03:13.000 I wish there was a way to tell whether someone's a piece of shit, a criminal.
01:03:17.000 I wish there was.
01:03:18.000 Or someone's just poor.
01:03:20.000 Because there's a lot of...
01:03:22.000 For sure, both sides are right.
01:03:24.000 This is how I look at it.
01:03:26.000 For sure, the people that don't want criminals coming in here are right.
01:03:29.000 For sure, the people that want border control to keep out gang members and drug dealers and evil people, they're right.
01:03:36.000 100%.
01:03:36.000 Look, I'm a fucking American taxpayer.
01:03:40.000 I have a family.
01:03:41.000 I fucking salute.
01:03:43.000 Right?
01:03:47.000 I believe in the law.
01:03:49.000 I believe in all those things.
01:03:51.000 But also, my grandparents are immigrants.
01:03:55.000 All of them.
01:03:55.000 Everybody that is related to me came over from Europe.
01:03:59.000 They all came over from Italy and Ireland.
01:04:01.000 All of them.
01:04:02.000 They all came over because their life sucked.
01:04:04.000 They want a better place.
01:04:05.000 If someone walks here from Guatemala, they don't walk here because they're lazy.
01:04:09.000 Yeah.
01:04:09.000 They walk here because they want a better life.
01:04:12.000 This is what America's made for.
01:04:13.000 So I say let them in.
01:04:14.000 I say let them in too, but I wish there was a better way to screen out the cunts.
01:04:18.000 If there was a better way to screen out the real shitty human beings, to stop, that would be ideal.
01:04:26.000 We need a cunt screener.
01:04:27.000 A cunt screener is the way to go.
01:04:29.000 I'm going to fucking tag that right now.
01:04:30.000 It doesn't exist right now.
01:04:32.000 If any of my people are listening, make sure you buy that dot com.
01:04:35.000 But the whole thing that all these fucking government workers aren't getting paid right now because of a wall.
01:04:40.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:04:41.000 And there's a billionaire.
01:04:43.000 You know, Donald, you believe in the wall that much.
01:04:46.000 Take five billion out of your fucking account.
01:04:49.000 Shove those shekels towards the wall.
01:04:51.000 He doesn't have five billion.
01:04:51.000 How much does he have, you think?
01:04:52.000 They say he's got three, but it's all paper, I think.
01:04:55.000 Right.
01:04:56.000 It's all just smoke mirrors.
01:04:58.000 Ones and zeros somewhere.
01:04:59.000 It's like his hair.
01:05:04.000 But, you know what?
01:05:05.000 We elected him, so we gotta deal with it.
01:05:07.000 Yeah.
01:05:09.000 And in our case, he was the better choice.
01:05:11.000 He was the better choice.
01:05:13.000 This is why he's the better choice.
01:05:15.000 To realize that our system is completely hosed.
01:05:17.000 That this guy could get in there and build that wall, lock her up, and everybody's like, check me.
01:05:25.000 It's a good example of how our system is the best system in the world, for sure.
01:05:33.000 This whole experiment and self-government is the best on the planet Earth, without a doubt.
01:05:39.000 But this guy...
01:05:41.000 It's not his fault.
01:05:42.000 That is who he is.
01:05:43.000 But he exploited it.
01:05:45.000 He showed everybody the holes in this fucking goofy system.
01:05:49.000 I know, but he's a reality star.
01:05:51.000 I could be president one day.
01:05:53.000 You could.
01:05:54.000 You and me.
01:05:55.000 Let's run.
01:05:56.000 It's the ticket.
01:05:57.000 The Rogan Rawlings ticket.
01:05:58.000 We could win.
01:05:59.000 And I'm not bullshitting.
01:06:00.000 You know we could win.
01:06:01.000 I could do that.
01:06:02.000 Dude, they did some fucking Vegas odds and they found out that I have better chances of winning than a lot of people.
01:06:09.000 That would be freaking rad.
01:06:11.000 Yeah, there's like a whole list of people who I had better...
01:06:13.000 I want to see you just like throwing them out.
01:06:18.000 I got this.
01:06:19.000 But, you know, I mean, no one's gonna, you know, it's not gonna work.
01:06:24.000 The most fun that I'm having right this second is not even in this room.
01:06:28.000 So my manager and my PR person are back there just waiting on me to fuck up on talking about politics.
01:06:33.000 Yeah, see, I don't have one of those.
01:06:36.000 My manager's awesome and my PR person is non-existent.
01:06:40.000 So, let's get round three going.
01:06:43.000 Let's go.
01:06:44.000 Here we go.
01:06:45.000 Salute, sir.
01:06:46.000 Salute.
01:06:47.000 America.
01:06:47.000 America.
01:06:51.000 Woo!
01:06:52.000 I'm telling you, it just keeps getting better.
01:06:53.000 Yeah, it does keep getting better.
01:06:55.000 It's good whiskey.
01:06:55.000 Or tequila.
01:06:56.000 Whatever the fuck it is.
01:06:57.000 I forget now.
01:06:59.000 Yeah, politics, that is the one thing that people say you shouldn't talk about.
01:07:03.000 But isn't that what helps us to talk about it?
01:07:07.000 It's just that people are so fragmented.
01:07:10.000 People fragment out everything you say, and they're like, well, you know, it's like you said something, but then they turn it into this one little sentence going, wait a second, he said these two descriptive adjectives and this fucking noun and this verb, and look at what he said.
01:07:23.000 He said we need cunt screening.
01:07:25.000 Yes.
01:07:26.000 You heard him.
01:07:27.000 I told my people to buy cuntscreening.com.
01:07:31.000 I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but we're going to use it.
01:07:33.000 Well, if we could just figure out a way to put microchips in everybody, we'll know where everybody is and what everybody did, and that way we'll know if you're a cunt.
01:07:42.000 You walk past this little thing and it goes, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
01:07:45.000 Yeah, you'll walk by, he throws burritos, but he's a good guy.
01:07:50.000 He owns 50 cars.
01:07:53.000 Well, a lot of them are for sale.
01:07:56.000 But we keep some pretty cool stuff in there.
01:07:59.000 But I'm a big 32 Ford guy, so I've got all the 32 Fords.
01:08:02.000 What is 32 Ford?
01:08:03.000 Why does that one...
01:08:04.000 Because that's like, to most...
01:08:07.000 Guys like myself, anyways, that's what started the hot rod movement.
01:08:11.000 They were cheap, they were plentiful.
01:08:13.000 The guys came back from WW2 and they bought a $20 32 Ford and it stubbed a V8 in it and that became the hot rod scene.
01:08:23.000 Right, because in 1947, a 32 Ford was like the old used car that you could get.
01:08:29.000 Yeah, you bought that thing for like $20, maybe even $10 or $5.
01:08:34.000 Now we're paying 50 for one that needs everything.
01:08:37.000 What was your first car?
01:08:38.000 My first car was a 73 Mercury Comet.
01:08:42.000 My first car was a 73 Chevelle.
01:08:44.000 Well, that's way cooler than a piss green Mercury Comet, I promise you.
01:08:48.000 It didn't last.
01:08:49.000 I drove it from the guy I bought it from, I got it home, and the next day the engine blew.
01:08:55.000 That's operator error.
01:08:56.000 No, let's just see.
01:08:59.000 This is a shitbox.
01:09:00.000 It was just a terrible car.
01:09:02.000 Mine had a straight six-cylinder, so it wasn't fast.
01:09:05.000 It wasn't cool.
01:09:05.000 It was that piss green from the 70s, and it was pea green interior, and the ladies didn't like it, and it had the squeaks and stuff.
01:09:15.000 I'd be pulling into high school and going over the speed bumps like...
01:09:20.000 And I'm like, shit.
01:09:22.000 This is not cool at all.
01:09:24.000 But by the time I graduated, because I always worked hard, mowed yards, rake leaves, whatever I could do, I was a hustler.
01:09:31.000 So by my senior year, I was driving a 77 Bandit Trans Am.
01:09:37.000 Now the ladies started paying a little bit more attention.
01:09:39.000 That's legit.
01:09:40.000 Those cars are still legit.
01:09:42.000 Those bandit Trans Ams.
01:09:43.000 That movie just revolutionized Trans Ams.
01:09:46.000 It revolutionized cars in movies.
01:09:48.000 When you had Burt Reynolds on your show, I have to say that I got sad.
01:09:53.000 When I saw him walk out, I was like, oh man, that's Burt Reynolds?
01:09:58.000 He's that broken down?
01:10:00.000 You know...
01:10:01.000 He was really bad, broken down at that point in time, but towards the end of his life, he came back kind of full circle.
01:10:07.000 He was a whole different kind of person about a year and a half, two years later.
01:10:11.000 How?
01:10:11.000 I don't know, but I don't know if he was just going through a bad spot.
01:10:15.000 But towards the end, he was hip, cool.
01:10:18.000 We did a lot of different things together that you'll see.
01:10:20.000 Really?
01:10:21.000 You know, and what have you.
01:10:22.000 But the cool thing that not a lot of people know, in my office I have the hat.
01:10:28.000 The hat with all the feathers and the what have you.
01:10:32.000 You have his hat?
01:10:33.000 Yeah.
01:10:34.000 So when I was filming at his house, Bert comes out.
01:10:37.000 He goes, hold on a second.
01:10:38.000 I'm like, get you something.
01:10:39.000 And he goes in, comes back out.
01:10:42.000 And he goes, I didn't ever know who I was going to give this to.
01:10:44.000 It's not that one.
01:10:46.000 It's the one from Smoking Man 2. That is two.
01:10:53.000 Well, fuck it.
01:10:55.000 It's sitting in there, and I've got a picture of him giving it to me.
01:10:59.000 And...
01:11:00.000 I had, like, man tears.
01:11:01.000 I mean, I had, like, my hair was growing on my arms and stuff, you know, standing up, and I'm like, dude, I can't take that.
01:11:07.000 And he goes, oh, you will.
01:11:08.000 And I'm like, okay, I mean, who's going to tell Burt Reynolds no?
01:11:12.000 And so it sits there as kind of a memorial, and he was a super cool guy, and he was really a car guy.
01:11:19.000 But also, there it is.
01:11:21.000 Wow.
01:11:23.000 Burt Reynolds giving you his hat.
01:11:25.000 Holy shit.
01:11:27.000 Yeah.
01:11:28.000 He was a badass, man.
01:11:29.000 So he didn't have a cane at this point in time.
01:11:31.000 So whatever it was, he must have some surgery or something like that?
01:11:35.000 I don't think so.
01:11:35.000 I think he was just frail at the time.
01:11:38.000 And he recovered?
01:11:39.000 Yeah.
01:11:40.000 This was four years ago, maybe.
01:11:43.000 And now, you know, he just passed away, but he came around, you know, he does the Barrett-Jackson stuff with us, and I've got a friend of mine that owns a company, Restore Muscle Car, that does just Trans Am type stuff, and it was cool.
01:11:58.000 Those Smokey and the Bandit years were when I was in high school.
01:12:02.000 81, I was a freshman in high school.
01:12:04.000 I was 84. So I remember watching those movies and saying, like, this guy, he's like having fun.
01:12:14.000 He was smiling.
01:12:16.000 And he was like, he was silly.
01:12:18.000 That's the secret to Gas Monkey.
01:12:19.000 I'm like fucking having a blast.
01:12:21.000 It's not a big fucking deal.
01:12:24.000 I mean, look at all the other ones that people don't talk about a lot, like Hooper or Stroker Ace, not to mention Cannonball and all the other ones.
01:12:32.000 I mean, they were literally a group of guys that kind of took over Hollywood for a small period of time and just had a blast.
01:12:39.000 Just had good times.
01:12:40.000 Yeah, they were like, hey!
01:12:41.000 You know, this might be fun to go film this movie for two weeks across America and fuck shit up.
01:12:45.000 Let's go do it.
01:12:46.000 Alright, cool!
01:12:47.000 Well, he was just silly.
01:12:48.000 He was, like, always smiling and silly.
01:12:51.000 And he had Jackie Gleason was the enemy.
01:12:53.000 Like, come on, man.
01:12:54.000 When you got Jackie Gleason is the evil guy?
01:12:57.000 I mean, you got a goddamn great movie.
01:12:59.000 Yeah.
01:12:59.000 That's silliness.
01:13:00.000 I need a Dr. Pepper.
01:13:03.000 Yeah.
01:13:04.000 And a Diablo sandwich.
01:13:05.000 Make it fast.
01:13:06.000 I'm gonna hurry.
01:13:07.000 I mean, it was just...
01:13:08.000 I mean, Jackie Gleason from The Hustler is a bad guy in a cop movie.
01:13:15.000 Yeah.
01:13:15.000 You son of a bitch!
01:13:18.000 Those are great fucking movies.
01:13:20.000 And Sally Fields is the girlfriend.
01:13:22.000 I mean, it was just fucking amazing, man.
01:13:25.000 Goddamn.
01:13:25.000 There you go.
01:13:26.000 I love those movies, man.
01:13:28.000 Dude, and getting to shave my goatee off and dress like that and do the show that I did was absolutely second to none.
01:13:37.000 I'm like, this is as cool as it gets.
01:13:40.000 I'm done.
01:13:41.000 Cool, like a cover tie.
01:13:42.000 What did you do with that car?
01:13:43.000 Did you sell it?
01:13:44.000 Yeah, we actually gave it away on Discovery.
01:13:46.000 Oh, really?
01:13:47.000 Yeah, so somebody got it.
01:13:48.000 It's a good car.
01:13:49.000 It's a really nice car.
01:13:51.000 Great-looking car, man.
01:13:52.000 Goddamn, those Trans Ams from that year, with the Firebird on the fucking hood.
01:13:58.000 God!
01:13:58.000 They're so ass-heavy, though, man.
01:14:00.000 Oh, yeah!
01:14:01.000 Dude, you can't...
01:14:03.000 Doesn't matter how good a driver you are, that thing is ass heavy.
01:14:06.000 It'll come around on you in a heartbeat.
01:14:08.000 Of course.
01:14:09.000 Mine I bought, my dad was actually mad.
01:14:11.000 They said, my parents told me that I couldn't get it because they said they couldn't afford the insurance and everything and they didn't know I was always hustling and doing stuff and what have you.
01:14:19.000 So I just showed up at home one day with it and they were like, we told you.
01:14:23.000 I said, I paid cash and I paid for a year's worth of insurance up front.
01:14:27.000 And my dad's like, Where the fuck did you get that money?
01:14:30.000 And I said, Dad, I've been working.
01:14:31.000 He goes, how much money you got?
01:14:32.000 So I take him to my room, I show him my shoebox, and he's like, Richard, that's more than I make.
01:14:39.000 What were you doing to make that money?
01:14:41.000 Oh, dude, I was a hustler back then, selling car stereos out of my trunk, you know, selling anything anybody would buy, raking leaves, mowing yards.
01:14:51.000 I mean, I was kind of a geeky kid at the time and a little bit on the small side, so I had a lot of free time.
01:14:55.000 I wasn't exactly banging the cheerleaders or anything.
01:14:59.000 You know, so I knew I just always kind of was a hustler and wanted to make some money.
01:15:05.000 Your dad had to respect that.
01:15:07.000 Oh, he did.
01:15:08.000 He did.
01:15:09.000 He was actually very impressed.
01:15:10.000 He was like, shit, son.
01:15:11.000 He goes, we don't have that much in our family bank account.
01:15:13.000 Wow.
01:15:15.000 And I was like, well, that.
01:15:18.000 But my dad is a phenomenal dude.
01:15:21.000 Worked three years.
01:15:23.000 You talk about a good dad.
01:15:24.000 You're a dad.
01:15:25.000 And so am I. But a good dad.
01:15:28.000 My mom left when I was two.
01:15:30.000 Ditched my dad with me at two and my sister at six or so.
01:15:34.000 Damn.
01:15:36.000 You know, it was the 70s.
01:15:38.000 So you would think that my dad would be like, I'm going to smoke this weed and drive away.
01:15:43.000 But instead, he buckled down, got two jobs, and he worked two jobs pretty much my whole life and provided for us.
01:15:51.000 And we definitely didn't have much, but we had a roof and we had food and shoes.
01:15:55.000 Are you still in contact with your mom?
01:15:57.000 No, not really, man.
01:15:59.000 I hate to say that out loud.
01:16:00.000 But my mom, she lives down in Florida.
01:16:03.000 I'm sure she's...
01:16:05.000 Whatever she is, but, you know, she's a little too much for me.
01:16:09.000 I have the exact opposite story.
01:16:12.000 Oh, yeah?
01:16:12.000 Yeah, my mom left my dad when I was five, and I haven't even spoken a word to my dad until I'm seven years old on.
01:16:20.000 No kidding.
01:16:21.000 Yeah.
01:16:21.000 Well, I've actually kept up with my mom, and we talk about it every two or three years, and it reminds me of why I don't talk to her anymore, so...
01:16:27.000 Then I'm good.
01:16:30.000 Well, I'm sure if I met my dad, it'd be the same thing.
01:16:33.000 But I have a stepdad who's a great guy.
01:16:34.000 I got real lucky.
01:16:36.000 Yeah, I had a stepmom and it didn't turn out super great, but she did teach me a little bit about math and, you know, how to run books because she was basically a thief.
01:16:47.000 But, uh, so...
01:16:49.000 I at least learned from the experience.
01:16:51.000 Only one stepmom, though?
01:16:52.000 That's rare.
01:16:53.000 Until I was out of high school, yeah.
01:16:56.000 Then my dad went on to marry a series of superly freaking just effed up individuals.
01:17:03.000 I mean, he just started running through them.
01:17:06.000 And I was like, Dad!
01:17:08.000 Did he marry any of them?
01:17:09.000 Yeah, he married two or three of them, I think.
01:17:11.000 Yeah.
01:17:13.000 There's something about people that get married five, six, seven times.
01:17:17.000 I respect that.
01:17:19.000 This is what I respect.
01:17:20.000 I respect people that keep fucking swinging.
01:17:22.000 Even though you go down in the fifth, you get back up, and you go down in the sixth, you go down in the seventh, but you're still there.
01:17:28.000 They're just looking for the party.
01:17:30.000 My dad was like that.
01:17:31.000 He was like, ah, it's a fucking good party, son.
01:17:33.000 Come on out.
01:17:34.000 I'm getting married.
01:17:36.000 He had one wife that one time I get there for family Christmas on either Christmas Eve or whatever.
01:17:42.000 It's like going to the dad's house with the young kids and what have you.
01:17:46.000 And we get there and she's all doped up on whatever pills were popular at the time.
01:17:52.000 And she's like, hey...
01:17:53.000 Come on.
01:17:54.000 Take your shirt off.
01:17:55.000 Come here.
01:17:55.000 Oh, no.
01:17:57.000 And I'm like, yeah.
01:17:57.000 And before it's Owen, she's crawling around on the floor and trying to take off her clothes.
01:18:02.000 And the whole family's sitting there like, what the hell is this, Dad?
01:18:07.000 And so now he's in an Alzheimer's home.
01:18:12.000 But yeah, that's the part about it's scary about turning 50. But He's like in there nailing all these chicks.
01:18:19.000 We go in there and he's like making out with some girl with a nasal cannula on and carrying her oxygen bottle.
01:18:26.000 And he's convinced that they've been married for a few years.
01:18:30.000 I have a bit in my act about the outbreak of STDs in nursing homes.
01:18:35.000 It's out of control because of Viagra.
01:18:37.000 Oh, it's not only just that.
01:18:39.000 These people, I mean, my dad has really advanced Alzheimer's, and he knows that he misses his Mustang, I took all his bicycles away, and I need to get laid.
01:18:54.000 That's it.
01:18:56.000 I mean, and he's in there just running around.
01:18:59.000 We got called, my sister and I take care of my dad in that manner.
01:19:02.000 And so we get called to the home, almost like being called to the principal's office as a parent.
01:19:09.000 And they're like, your dad's literally in here fucking everybody.
01:19:15.000 And I'm like...
01:19:19.000 I mean, I literally had the feeling of getting jinked in there to the principal's office like, your kid's a fuck up.
01:19:25.000 Your dad's fucking everyone.
01:19:27.000 But you had to be proud.
01:19:29.000 Oh, heck yeah!
01:19:31.000 What does he care?
01:19:32.000 What do y'all care?
01:19:33.000 Why do you care?
01:19:34.000 That's my point.
01:19:35.000 That's what I say about him in my acts.
01:19:37.000 Like, come on, man.
01:19:38.000 How do you want these people to die out?
01:19:39.000 Want their heart to stop while they're playing bingo?
01:19:41.000 Come on.
01:19:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19:43.000 Have a good time.
01:19:44.000 Just don't let them hurt each other.
01:19:45.000 Well, see, I'm in the healthcare business also, home healthcare.
01:19:49.000 You are?
01:19:49.000 Yeah, I've got a lot of different ventures.
01:19:51.000 How are you in the home healthcare business?
01:19:54.000 Home health care with my wife, 16, 17 years, maybe longer.
01:20:00.000 So in the state of Texas, it's probably the second or third largest home health care.
01:20:05.000 But I'm talking real home health care.
01:20:07.000 You've got to get shots.
01:20:07.000 You've got to get therapy.
01:20:09.000 These are RNs that are going in.
01:20:11.000 They're not people going to bathe grandma.
01:20:13.000 What is your business?
01:20:14.000 So you hire a bunch of nurses to take care of people that are at home?
01:20:17.000 Yeah.
01:20:18.000 It's prescribed through Medicare or insurance or whatever to where maybe somebody gets a knee or a shoulder replacement or maybe it's an injury or cancer or what have you.
01:20:29.000 And so it's a very rewarding business.
01:20:31.000 We probably have 3,000, 2,500, 3,000 patients at any given time all around the state of Texas.
01:20:38.000 That's amazing.
01:20:38.000 And so it's a fun business to be in that you're really getting to help people, but at the same time, This shit out there is crazy.
01:20:48.000 These guys are getting after it.
01:20:50.000 You go into the nursing home and it's like, damn, dude, this 78-year-old dude has had more ass than I had in the last week.
01:21:00.000 They don't have anything else to do!
01:21:02.000 Nothing!
01:21:02.000 Yeah, why not?
01:21:04.000 Why not?
01:21:05.000 My thought is why not?
01:21:06.000 Well, I bought my dad, you know, he's got his room that's kind of like an apartment or whatever, and I bought him stripper sheets.
01:21:12.000 Not stripper sheets, but twister.
01:21:15.000 Twister sheets with all the red and blue and green dots on it.
01:21:18.000 And I hung the board thing up behind his bed.
01:21:21.000 I'm like, Dad, if you're getting after it, you might as well have fun.
01:21:23.000 I mean, fuck bingo or freaking whatever.
01:21:26.000 So because he has Alzheimer's, does he remember when he gets after it?
01:21:30.000 I think it's that he's just so focused on it.
01:21:33.000 He was, what would you call him, a Casanova.
01:21:37.000 My dad got some serious ass my whole life.
01:21:41.000 As a teenager, I was like, God damn, my dad's banging everything.
01:21:45.000 Well, I guess when your wife leaves you with kids when you're young, you just realize, okay.
01:21:50.000 Forget about this long-term shit.
01:21:52.000 Yeah.
01:21:52.000 Let's just enjoy the moment.
01:21:54.000 Yeah, but my dad was a straight-up product of the 60s and 70s, so he would dye his hair blonde and his eyebrows blonde and shit and walk around looking like Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused.
01:22:06.000 All right, all right, all right.
01:22:08.000 Driving his Mustang.
01:22:10.000 He'd come pick me up from school.
01:22:12.000 What kind of Mustang did you have?
01:22:13.000 Back then, it was like a 72 fastback, you know, red and black with a four-speed.
01:22:17.000 And he'd be hammering it, and I'm like, you know, five, six years old.
01:22:22.000 I'd fall on the floor because nobody wore a freaking seatbelt back then.
01:22:25.000 And his idea of after-school care was the skating rink, because he knew that thing would be open until nine.
01:22:31.000 So, drop us off.
01:22:33.000 I'm at the skating rink eating a 99-cent corndog meal, and he'd come pick us up, usually around 10 or 11, with some irate skating rink owners sitting there pissed off.
01:22:43.000 He's like, Oh, wow.
01:22:45.000 He was a badass, though.
01:22:47.000 Or he is a badass, still.
01:22:48.000 I mean, he's nailing chicks in a freaking nursing home.
01:22:50.000 Come on!
01:22:53.000 It's so weird when you become an adult, isn't it?
01:22:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:22:56.000 You know, when you think about, uh-oh, round four, here we go.
01:22:59.000 Well, we've got to drink one from Raymond Rawlings.
01:23:01.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:23:01.000 Raymond Rawlings.
01:23:02.000 Raymond Miller Rawlings.
01:23:04.000 Baddest motherfucker that ever lived.
01:23:06.000 Salute.
01:23:07.000 For sure.
01:23:12.000 I mean, I guarantee you he got more ass than you and I did this whole week.
01:23:16.000 I believe it.
01:23:16.000 He's freaking probably banging one right now.
01:23:19.000 Yeah.
01:23:19.000 It's like, hey, what's that noise in the back?
01:23:20.000 Sounds like my son.
01:23:21.000 Is he on the TV? Plus, the goal is, or the bonus, rather, is that they can't get pregnant.
01:23:28.000 Well, you got that.
01:23:29.000 Yeah, I mean, it's over.
01:23:31.000 Yeah, well, I mean, that's not happening.
01:23:34.000 But you can still get some diseases and stuff.
01:23:36.000 Yes.
01:23:36.000 And they do.
01:23:37.000 Yes, they do.
01:23:38.000 But the thing is, where are they getting them?
01:23:41.000 Well, somebody had it, and then the next thing you know, all 100 people in that building have done it.
01:23:45.000 Right, but did they have it already?
01:23:47.000 Or are they getting it from the building?
01:23:50.000 Nah, they had it already.
01:23:52.000 They had it already.
01:23:53.000 So are you dealing with herpes, or are you dealing with the real weird ones, like syphilis and gonorrhea and shit?
01:23:58.000 The syphilis and gonorrhea is like, hey, you gotta treat this.
01:24:01.000 Where are you getting this?
01:24:03.000 Oh, no, it's prevalent.
01:24:04.000 It's everything.
01:24:05.000 Right, but the question is, like, are they getting it from outside sources?
01:24:08.000 Maybe.
01:24:09.000 Maybe.
01:24:09.000 I mean, who knows?
01:24:10.000 You had that, unfortunately, that just had the baby, you know, that's been invalid for 20-something years.
01:24:17.000 Oh, that's crazy.
01:24:18.000 Yeah.
01:24:18.000 That's a dark story.
01:24:19.000 Somebody knocked her up, and I'm like, holy shit.
01:24:21.000 Between 2007 and 2011, chlamydia infections amongst Americans 65 and over increased by 31%, and syphilis by 52%.
01:24:31.000 Yeah, but the problem with that is 52%.
01:24:34.000 All right, okay.
01:24:35.000 Let's say there's 100 cases, and then the next year, there's 150. All right?
01:24:43.000 That's 52%.
01:24:45.000 No.
01:24:45.000 That's not that big.
01:24:46.000 There's tens of thousands.
01:24:47.000 Hundreds of thousands.
01:24:48.000 There's millions of people.
01:24:48.000 Yeah.
01:24:49.000 Millions of people in nursing homes.
01:24:50.000 Hundreds of thousands.
01:24:50.000 My dad's probably in there going, come on, baby, I'm going to buy you some chlamydia.
01:24:54.000 I don't like the number of Because if there's four people and then the next year there's six, that's 50% increase.
01:25:02.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:25:02.000 I don't like numbers like that because you could make, oh my god, it's an epidemic.
01:25:06.000 I want numbers like human beings.
01:25:10.000 Yeah, well, I'm sure it's out there on the web, but like I said, my dad probably thinks chlamydia is a flower he's giving this girl.
01:25:18.000 I'm going to get you some chlamydias and we're going to have a good time.
01:25:21.000 Yeah, there's no condoms in nursing homes, you know?
01:25:25.000 43,000 reported cases of chlamydia among people 45 and older.
01:25:29.000 Okay, but I'm 45 and older.
01:25:31.000 That's normal.
01:25:32.000 45 and older, people are walking around, meeting new people.
01:25:36.000 43,000 seems like a very low number.
01:25:38.000 Super low.
01:25:39.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:25:40.000 That's why I don't like these percentage numbers.
01:25:43.000 See, from doing this podcast all these years, I understand when people can make things seem greater than they really are.
01:25:50.000 Go back to that, Jamie.
01:25:51.000 Do you have your AARP card?
01:25:53.000 No, but someone sent one to us, to me and Ari, to the comedy store, but I think that was some asshole.
01:26:01.000 43,000 sounds low.
01:26:03.000 Yeah, primary and secondary syphilis.
01:26:05.000 5,650 cases were reported in this age group.
01:26:08.000 But that age group, 45, the thing about 45 and older is 45-year-old people in 2019, it's not like 45-year-old people in the 60s.
01:26:18.000 Absolutely.
01:26:18.000 These animals are out there fucking hitting the gym and doing squats and flying to Thailand.
01:26:22.000 They're probably getting it from the sweat on the gym bench.
01:26:24.000 They could get staph, for sure.
01:26:27.000 I know a lady who almost died from staph from the gym.
01:26:32.000 She ignored.
01:26:32.000 She had some weird rash on her leg.
01:26:35.000 And no one told her that it was a staph infection.
01:26:37.000 And she went into shock and had fucking seizures from staph.
01:26:42.000 And she's...
01:26:43.000 36?
01:26:44.000 37?
01:26:45.000 Fuck.
01:26:46.000 She's my wife's friend.
01:26:48.000 That's crazy.
01:26:48.000 Dark shit.
01:26:49.000 Yeah, you don't want that.
01:26:50.000 Dark.
01:26:51.000 Dark.
01:26:52.000 Staph.
01:26:52.000 From a gym.
01:26:53.000 I don't want it.
01:26:54.000 That's why I don't go to the gym.
01:26:55.000 That's why I tell everybody, no staph.
01:26:57.000 I'm not getting it.
01:26:58.000 You gotta go to the gym dressed like a superhero.
01:27:00.000 You gotta wear tights.
01:27:04.000 I'm going to call myself Super Zero.
01:27:07.000 Tights and rash guards and fucking...
01:27:10.000 You're over there spraying all the chemicals everywhere.
01:27:13.000 Yeah, like two guns, two spray guns in each hand of alcohol.
01:27:18.000 Everything.
01:27:19.000 No, I like the spray gun with alcohol, but it's one with tequila and one with something else.
01:27:25.000 Do some fucking chin-ups, one in the mouth.
01:27:28.000 Yeah.
01:27:30.000 Yeah.
01:27:31.000 I've got staff twice from jujitsu.
01:27:33.000 Oh, yeah?
01:27:34.000 Yeah.
01:27:35.000 Ringworm three times, at least.
01:27:37.000 Staff twice.
01:27:38.000 I had ringworm once.
01:27:39.000 It's rough.
01:27:40.000 Ringworm's okay, but ringworm is basically athlete's foot.
01:27:43.000 Did you know the same thing?
01:27:44.000 Yeah, more or less, yeah.
01:27:45.000 You know you piss on your feet to make athlete's foot go away?
01:27:47.000 Yes.
01:27:48.000 Yeah.
01:27:49.000 Girls go, what?
01:27:50.000 Because girls can't aim with their piss.
01:27:53.000 No, I can.
01:27:54.000 I can help them.
01:27:55.000 I have this new patented...
01:27:56.000 I'm just coming up with this.
01:27:59.000 Gas monkey funnel.
01:28:01.000 Remember the fundal thing that they came up with, the sheenal?
01:28:05.000 Yeah, there is a thing that girls can use.
01:28:07.000 They stuff in their crotch that they can pee standing up.
01:28:10.000 I just think that's probably not very sanitary.
01:28:14.000 Well, urine is not really unsanitary.
01:28:16.000 It's not really that bad.
01:28:18.000 It's not a dangerous thing.
01:28:20.000 It's not like shit.
01:28:21.000 I haven't, but I wouldn't be scared of it.
01:28:24.000 I'm not scared of piss.
01:28:26.000 There you go, Miss Rogan.
01:28:27.000 Don't pee until he gets home.
01:28:30.000 This is the thing about jujitsu.
01:28:33.000 You're so used to dudes sweating on you.
01:28:36.000 Like, because you're always, like, guys are sweating.
01:28:39.000 Like, there was one time that I was rolling with a friend of mine, and he got on top of me, he mounded me, and he was sweating in my fucking face.
01:28:46.000 Like, his chest sweat was dripping in my face, and we were laughing about it.
01:28:50.000 I was like, dude, what the fuck?
01:28:51.000 You're sweating in my mouth, basically.
01:28:54.000 This is starting to get weird.
01:28:56.000 Well, it's just part of learning how to kill people.
01:28:59.000 To deal with the reality of training.
01:29:02.000 We're from Texas.
01:29:03.000 We just use guns.
01:29:04.000 No, that's not true.
01:29:05.000 There's a lot of jiu-jitsu schools in Texas.
01:29:06.000 I'm looking up stats on the STD thing for older people, and this says an article I found said only 5% of adults are using Medicare to take the STD tests.
01:29:16.000 So it could be way higher.
01:29:18.000 It's way higher.
01:29:19.000 They're just not getting tested.
01:29:20.000 It's way higher.
01:29:20.000 They're like, suck it up.
01:29:22.000 I was in Vietnam.
01:29:23.000 Yeah.
01:29:24.000 Come on, it's just a rash!
01:29:26.000 Yeah, I mean, the thing is, like, who's trying to stop these people?
01:29:30.000 Why stop them?
01:29:31.000 They're gonna die.
01:29:32.000 Let them get after it.
01:29:33.000 Yeah, why stop them?
01:29:34.000 I'd be going in there and passing out all kinds of lube and toys and just get after it.
01:29:39.000 Yeah, meth.
01:29:40.000 No, I wouldn't do that.
01:29:41.000 Why not?
01:29:42.000 I don't know, man.
01:29:43.000 Let them try it.
01:29:43.000 If you're gonna try meth, try it when you're 90. Yeah, that's an easy way out.
01:29:47.000 Well, it's not even a way out.
01:29:49.000 It's just a way forward.
01:29:50.000 Well, no.
01:29:51.000 We gave these ladies in my family weed for the first time when they turned 80. First time?
01:29:58.000 80 years old.
01:29:59.000 They had never done anything, so we gave them some brownies.
01:30:01.000 Wow.
01:30:02.000 And we told them, don't eat all the brownies at once.
01:30:05.000 Just eat a little bit, wait an hour, see how you feel, blah, blah, blah.
01:30:09.000 They're like, well, we're trying it.
01:30:10.000 We don't feel anything.
01:30:11.000 We don't feel anything.
01:30:12.000 We don't feel anything.
01:30:13.000 Next thing you know, it's like only an hour later and they've ate the whole pan.
01:30:17.000 Now they think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
01:30:20.000 They're like, just bring brownies.
01:30:22.000 Thanksgiving dinner?
01:30:23.000 Yeah, just bring brownies.
01:30:25.000 Just bring brownies and they just like melt with the universe.
01:30:29.000 Weed is tricky in Texas though, right?
01:30:31.000 Yeah, it's not legal yet.
01:30:33.000 It's gonna be.
01:30:35.000 In California though.
01:30:38.000 It's right here.
01:30:39.000 I got that Elon Musk trouble weed.
01:30:41.000 What is that?
01:30:43.000 This is what's called a blunt.
01:30:47.000 It's tobacco on the outside and marijuana on the inside.
01:30:52.000 A nursery car shit dropped Tesla stock 6% in one day.
01:30:57.000 Oh, my manager and PR person out there are just literally shitting their pants right now.
01:31:03.000 But it's legal.
01:31:04.000 Well, it's legal here, right?
01:31:05.000 Fuck it, I'll do it.
01:31:06.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:31:08.000 I believe in the law.
01:31:11.000 It's 100% legal here.
01:31:13.000 Get some of that, Jamie.
01:31:15.000 It is 100%.
01:31:16.000 Who's the dude that...
01:31:18.000 Oh, Mike Tyson just brought you some of his weed.
01:31:23.000 Is that how it comes?
01:31:24.000 This is the box of death and life, right here.
01:31:27.000 Wow!
01:31:27.000 This is Mike Tyson's box of death and life, yeah.
01:31:30.000 This is how hard Mike Tyson rolls.
01:31:32.000 Look at the size of these fucking joints he gave me.
01:31:36.000 I know the camera's not gonna be able to follow me, but I'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
01:31:40.000 Look at this shit.
01:31:45.000 Look at the fucking size.
01:31:50.000 Oh, that's just insane.
01:31:51.000 That's stupid.
01:31:52.000 That's you, bro.
01:31:53.000 I can't go.
01:31:54.000 You take that.
01:31:54.000 I can't take it with me.
01:31:55.000 You gotta smoke it before you get on the plane.
01:31:58.000 How do I get on the plane, then?
01:31:59.000 You just think.
01:32:01.000 Think, and you'll appear in seat 4C. That's the key.
01:32:08.000 I would recommend anything more than one more.
01:32:10.000 That's enough for me.
01:32:11.000 Alright, Jamie will take one more.
01:32:13.000 Yeah, he gave me these joints that would make you think about people you fingered in high school and want to find them on Facebook and apologize.
01:32:22.000 This is just, what is that?
01:32:24.000 That's a goddamn cigar of marijuana.
01:32:26.000 That's outrageous.
01:32:28.000 Mike Tyson has a whole ranch.
01:32:30.000 He has a whole, put in this new one.
01:32:34.000 He has this Tyson Ranch that he's growing marijuana, and he's going to have a resort destination where he's going to have fitness classes.
01:32:43.000 What is it?
01:32:44.000 Tiptoe through the tulips?
01:32:45.000 Exactly!
01:32:46.000 Tiptoe!
01:32:47.000 Tiptoe through the tulips.
01:32:51.000 He's got a place down in Palm Beach.
01:32:54.000 Where is it?
01:32:55.000 Palm Springs?
01:32:56.000 Palm Springs.
01:32:56.000 Palm Springs.
01:32:57.000 Palm Beach is in Florida.
01:32:59.000 Palm Springs, California.
01:33:00.000 Out in the desert, they're developing this enormous property where they're going to grow weed, and they're also going to have this huge place where people can go and have this resort.
01:33:09.000 Like a weed amusement park.
01:33:10.000 Yeah, literally.
01:33:11.000 They're going to have concerts there, like Coachella-type events.
01:33:14.000 What do they call it?
01:33:15.000 The Kush Fest or some shit?
01:33:16.000 Kind of.
01:33:18.000 Kindfest in February.
01:33:19.000 They're not fucking around.
01:33:20.000 The people behind it have deep pockets, and they're going hard.
01:33:24.000 Because what people have seen in Colorado, and people are starting to see in Washington State, and now in California, is there's this enormous amount of money involved in marijuana.
01:33:33.000 Like crazy, ridiculous, silly profit.
01:33:36.000 If you're doing it, and you're taxing it, and you're doing it responsibly, the way I look at it, it's no different than going to the store to buy a beer.
01:33:43.000 Any asshole can buy too much beer and do something stupid.
01:33:46.000 We've had four shots in an hour on a radio show.
01:33:49.000 Yeah, but I have a driver.
01:33:50.000 I have a driver.
01:33:51.000 That's good.
01:33:51.000 That's the way to do it.
01:33:52.000 Responsibly.
01:33:53.000 That's right.
01:33:54.000 I mean, owning a tequila company and bars and restaurants, you kind of have to...
01:34:00.000 Yeah.
01:34:00.000 It takes the fun out of it because I'm a driver.
01:34:02.000 I'm a car guy.
01:34:03.000 Everything else, but...
01:34:04.000 Yeah, but be responsible.
01:34:06.000 Always be responsible.
01:34:07.000 And, you know, the thing is also...
01:34:11.000 If you're a person who likes fun, are you trying to stop fun?
01:34:16.000 Like if someone wants to smoke a little weed, have a little tequila, drink a couple of beers, as long as people are being responsible.
01:34:23.000 Yeah, I don't see a drastic difference between alcohol or marijuana as long as you're obeying the laws, being responsible, paying your taxes.
01:34:31.000 Yes, I 100% agree.
01:34:33.000 I also talk about it this way.
01:34:35.000 Imagine if all the people in the world were you, me, and Jamie.
01:34:39.000 And if Jamie had decided that he thought that we were criminals and we're not allowed to drink alcohol anymore, Jamie's going to install prohibition in our small community, he'll be ridiculous.
01:34:52.000 He'll be like, fuck you, man.
01:34:54.000 Well, that's literally like the government telling you you can't do mushrooms or the government telling you you can't smoke weed.
01:35:00.000 It's just a grown man telling other grown men they can't.
01:35:05.000 Based on what?
01:35:06.000 It's not based on what we voted on.
01:35:08.000 Like, if people really knew the information involved in, like, the safety of marijuana, does it freak you out?
01:35:12.000 Yeah, of course it does.
01:35:13.000 Does it make you paranoid?
01:35:14.000 Yeah!
01:35:15.000 100%.
01:35:16.000 But does alcohol make you an asshole?
01:35:18.000 Fuck yes, it does.
01:35:19.000 Oh, yeah.
01:35:20.000 But do I think that everybody should have all of it?
01:35:22.000 CBS rejects Super Bowl.
01:35:24.000 I saw that.
01:35:24.000 Based on the benefits of medical marijuana.
01:35:27.000 Well...
01:35:28.000 In their defense, there's probably a bunch of people who are stockholders, and there's a lot of decisions that are made by lawyers.
01:35:36.000 Before people get angry about something that CBS decides to do, you have to understand that CBS is responsible for the employment of untold thousands of human beings.
01:35:47.000 They're going to have Bud Light ads right next to this.
01:35:50.000 They will.
01:35:50.000 Or whatever.
01:35:50.000 Yeah, they will.
01:35:51.000 They will.
01:35:52.000 But Bud Light ads are not going to affect anyone's bottom line.
01:35:56.000 I don't agree.
01:35:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:35:57.000 I don't agree.
01:35:58.000 But I just want people to understand that part of the problem is that the business aspect of this has not been fully established.
01:36:05.000 Once it's fully established, CBS and all these people are going to realize it isn't any different than Bud Light.
01:36:10.000 It's not any different than anything.
01:36:11.000 You can get fucked up on Bud Light if you just drink 20 of them.
01:36:16.000 You can be fucked up.
01:36:17.000 You can walk into trees.
01:36:18.000 Well, you can do it on cough medicine or whatever.
01:36:21.000 Yes, yes.
01:36:21.000 All that stuff's out there.
01:36:22.000 Anything.
01:36:22.000 I mean, how many pharmaceutical drugs can you get fucked up on?
01:36:25.000 And do we deny that some people who have serious injuries benefit greatly from pain pills?
01:36:30.000 No, they definitely do.
01:36:32.000 The thing about it all is you've got to be honest and let people form their own opinions, and part of being honest about these things is telling them the pros and the cons.
01:36:42.000 Everything is a pro and a con, including old people banging it out in nursing homes.
01:36:48.000 Exactly.
01:36:49.000 I mean, they're getting chlamydia.
01:36:51.000 You know, that's not good.
01:36:52.000 The pro and the con is my dad's a pro banging old ladies in a nursing home, but the con is he's probably got some stuff on his little wiener down there.
01:37:01.000 Yeah, he's probably passing some biological footballs.
01:37:04.000 But he's not getting pregnant.
01:37:06.000 Yeah, he's not getting pregnant.
01:37:07.000 No one's getting pregnant.
01:37:08.000 And listen, folks, people get colds.
01:37:11.000 They get the flu.
01:37:12.000 All sorts of weird things happen when people corral around other people.
01:37:15.000 What are we supposed to do?
01:37:16.000 Live like John Travolta and the boy in a plastic bubble and fucking lock ourselves in hermetically sealed chambers and never touch each other again?
01:37:23.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:37:24.000 This is true.
01:37:25.000 Just take your penicillin.
01:37:26.000 Walk it off.
01:37:27.000 That's what Napoleon did.
01:37:28.000 Walk it off, Gladys.
01:37:31.000 Gladys, I think you might have given him a thing or two.
01:37:34.000 Just hit the mass and kill.
01:37:35.000 You'll be good.
01:37:36.000 I wonder who's delivering these venereal diseases.
01:37:40.000 That would be fascinating if we found it was primarily women.
01:37:44.000 It was like 78% of women are the original source of the venereal disease.
01:37:49.000 Well, they pulled the apple down, right?
01:37:51.000 I don't believe that happened.
01:37:52.000 I think there was a bitch-ass man who blamed it on the chick.
01:37:59.000 When I heard that Adam and Eve story, I was like, yeah, right.
01:38:02.000 Maybe Adam was a bitch.
01:38:04.000 Maybe he blamed it on Eve.
01:38:05.000 He was the guy who could write, so he wrote things down.
01:38:08.000 He's like, Eve ate the apple.
01:38:10.000 I didn't do shit.
01:38:10.000 I listened.
01:38:12.000 I'm a good listener.
01:38:13.000 He probably ate the apple first.
01:38:14.000 He probably gave it to Eve.
01:38:16.000 You know, history's written by the winners.
01:38:19.000 This is correct.
01:38:20.000 And a lot of women, they let that shit go.
01:38:22.000 They're just like, let them talk.
01:38:23.000 Yeah, right down the night, I ate the apple.
01:38:25.000 Fuck you.
01:38:26.000 And he's like, fuck you.
01:38:27.000 Yep.
01:38:28.000 Adam and Eve.
01:38:29.000 I don't see Adam and Eve having that New York accent, though.
01:38:33.000 Where the hell did he get it?
01:38:34.000 New York wasn't there yet.
01:38:35.000 I feel like Adam and Eve would talk like British people.
01:38:37.000 Because anytime they have a movie where people talk like old-timey, whether it's Gladiator or whatever, everyone talks with an English accent.
01:38:44.000 You ever notice that?
01:38:45.000 Like, if we have to...
01:38:48.000 Right?
01:38:48.000 If we have to, there's like the suspension of disbelief.
01:38:52.000 Like, we don't know Latin.
01:38:54.000 They're talking Latin.
01:38:55.000 Who the fuck knows what that sounded like, right?
01:38:57.000 So when you're watching some old-ass movie about people talking Latin, they'll speak English, but they'll speak it with an English accent.
01:39:05.000 Right?
01:39:05.000 They'll only speak proper.
01:39:07.000 They always have some weird old-timey way.
01:39:10.000 You're not going to watch the movie.
01:39:11.000 You would never watch the movie otherwise.
01:39:13.000 Right, but you're right.
01:39:15.000 But why is that?
01:39:16.000 Because it's got to make it watchable.
01:39:18.000 That's why they ruin stories anyway.
01:39:19.000 But to English people, is that played out like Eleanor's are played out to him?
01:39:24.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
01:39:24.000 Absolutely.
01:39:25.000 To English people, they hear that accent every day.
01:39:27.000 That's a normal accent.
01:39:29.000 But to us, it's like, oh, this is like an old-timey language.
01:39:32.000 English people are like, why is Russell Crowe talking like he's from fucking London?
01:39:36.000 This is bullshit.
01:39:37.000 Yeah, I got a friend of mine, Big Chris, and he likes to say, well, we invented the English language.
01:39:44.000 And I'm like, yeah, you fucked it up.
01:39:45.000 Yeah, you guys made it so that people don't understand it.
01:39:48.000 That's stupid.
01:39:48.000 That's not smart.
01:39:49.000 We made it better.
01:39:50.000 We really did.
01:39:51.000 I hate to say that to you folks.
01:39:53.000 My rebuttal to him was, oh yeah?
01:39:54.000 Well, somebody from your town's still trying to be a rapper.
01:39:57.000 In their defense, though, they will always say to you, like, yeah, but listen, you guys respect our language more than you respect yours.
01:40:04.000 And it's true.
01:40:05.000 Like, American English is not as respectable as English English.
01:40:08.000 Because that's why they use those English people to sell, like, late night mops and shit.
01:40:13.000 Right?
01:40:13.000 Oh, they do, don't they?
01:40:14.000 They do!
01:40:15.000 Fucking non-stick frying pans.
01:40:17.000 It's always some man with a proper accent.
01:40:19.000 Look at this!
01:40:20.000 I can just fry these eggs and they slide right onto the plate.
01:40:24.000 Amazing!
01:40:25.000 Unbelievable!
01:40:26.000 And look, I'm going to throw a bag of nickels in there and scratch it up.
01:40:29.000 Look, not a scratch!
01:40:30.000 If that was a guy from Jersey that was selling you that, you'd be like, look at this asshole trying to lie to me about his bullshit frying pan, right?
01:40:38.000 And his fucking shitty mop.
01:40:40.000 But something about, like, English accents get us.
01:40:43.000 For sure.
01:40:45.000 They have a better, they have a more respectable version of our language.
01:40:48.000 But ours sounds better.
01:40:50.000 You could say it easier.
01:40:51.000 I understand it.
01:40:52.000 They understand us.
01:40:52.000 We don't always understand them.
01:40:54.000 I was literally just on a phone call with a lady in Europe before I got in here.
01:41:00.000 And I couldn't understand a word she was saying.
01:41:02.000 The thing is though, here's where I'm wrong.
01:41:04.000 Here's where I'm wrong.
01:41:05.000 They understand each other.
01:41:06.000 They fucking...
01:41:07.000 They'll start...
01:41:08.000 I was in...
01:41:10.000 Belfast, Northern Ireland, which is...
01:41:13.000 You might as well be in the cantina scene in Star Wars.
01:41:16.000 These motherfuckers, they barely speak English.
01:41:20.000 They speak English for sure.
01:41:22.000 They understand each other 100%.
01:41:23.000 But to me, I was talking to this guy, and he was drunk out of his fucking mind.
01:41:28.000 We were drinking dark beer.
01:41:29.000 Just me and this dude.
01:41:30.000 This is like early 2003. Early UFC. UFC in Dublin.
01:41:35.000 All I remember this guy saying, I'll fight any man.
01:41:38.000 Mm-hmm.
01:41:39.000 He was hammered.
01:41:39.000 To him, he was making perfect sense.
01:41:49.000 All I caught was, I'll fight any man.
01:41:51.000 This motherfucker might have said that a hundred times.
01:41:54.000 We just kept buying drinks.
01:41:56.000 Hammered.
01:41:56.000 With me and some dude with Belfast, we understood like 20% of what each other was saying.
01:42:02.000 You gotta use the translate thing on your phone.
01:42:05.000 It wouldn't work.
01:42:06.000 I'll fight any man.
01:42:07.000 Oh, what is this call?
01:42:09.000 This guy.
01:42:15.000 This guy's sober!
01:42:22.000 Pause it!
01:42:25.000 Now imagine being hammered, post UFC event, trying to mingle with the locals.
01:42:30.000 We're drinking dark beer and whiskey.
01:42:32.000 There's maybe 30 people around me that are yelling like that.
01:42:37.000 And I'm talking to this dude.
01:42:39.000 So all the people around me who are yelling, I'm fucking drunk.
01:42:43.000 No one knew.
01:42:44.000 No one knew what anybody next to him was saying.
01:42:46.000 Everybody's loud and hammered, and this guy is fucked up, and he's telling me this.
01:42:50.000 How to fight honeyman.
01:42:51.000 And I'm like, okay.
01:42:53.000 You go fight him.
01:42:54.000 That's so funny.
01:42:55.000 We've pulled up this video before, that exact guy.
01:42:58.000 How to fight honeyman.
01:43:00.000 On an old video a long time ago.
01:43:01.000 What is this one?
01:43:02.000 This is really old.
01:43:03.000 You're talking about this guy.
01:43:04.000 Oh, me telling me about this guy?
01:43:05.000 Yeah.
01:43:05.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:43:06.000 Here he is right here.
01:43:09.000 I guess it's a bird...
01:43:11.000 That's like fucking eight years ago or some shit.
01:43:13.000 What is that from?
01:43:14.000 You got two things playing at the same time.
01:43:17.000 There's two things playing.
01:43:18.000 There's something going on in the background.
01:43:20.000 Did you hear it?
01:43:21.000 Yeah.
01:43:23.000 Damn, I had a beard back then.
01:43:25.000 That's the same guy.
01:43:26.000 That's hilarious.
01:43:27.000 Now, that's like pikey language, right?
01:43:29.000 Yeah, I guess.
01:43:30.000 The first video I pulled up said he was from, I think I typed in Belfast or something.
01:43:34.000 But here's the thing.
01:43:35.000 Here's where I'm wrong.
01:43:36.000 They fucking understand each other 100%.
01:43:38.000 They understand every word they say.
01:43:42.000 So I'm wrong.
01:43:43.000 I'm just not in that environment.
01:43:45.000 Why don't you hang out and you'll get it.
01:43:47.000 It's got a flavor though.
01:43:48.000 They have a flavor that we don't have, right?
01:43:51.000 It's a dark old world flavor.
01:43:53.000 Hi, listen mate.
01:43:55.000 That's a fucking dude who just came over on a boat and he's shooting arrows at people.
01:43:59.000 They kept that same language.
01:44:03.000 And they're always looking to fight.
01:44:05.000 I'm ready.
01:44:07.000 Oh, I'm sure you get a bunch of that shit.
01:44:10.000 I'm a pretty friendly guy.
01:44:12.000 So most of that stuff I don't get.
01:44:14.000 The guys that I get are people that want to be like professional fighters.
01:44:18.000 Okay.
01:44:19.000 And they want to just talk about it a little bit.
01:44:20.000 And they're always very friendly.
01:44:21.000 You'd be amazed.
01:44:23.000 Like...
01:44:24.000 People that aspire to be professional fighters are some of the nicest fucking human beings you're ever going to run across.
01:44:29.000 Because they've figured out their own ego through competition to the point where they're not worried about putting out an image.
01:44:38.000 They know who they are.
01:44:39.000 And they're real friendly.
01:44:40.000 Some of the nicest people that I've ever met ever are professional fighters.
01:44:44.000 That's a weird thing for people to hear.
01:44:46.000 But I think that for men, there's something about trial through combat and just understanding what it's like to overcome unsurmountable obstacles for the average person.
01:44:59.000 It just makes them calmer.
01:45:00.000 There's a different kind of human.
01:45:02.000 They're more chill.
01:45:03.000 They are.
01:45:05.000 Believe it or not, my hairdresser for 15 years has been cutting my hair.
01:45:09.000 You probably don't have this problem.
01:45:12.000 I used to.
01:45:13.000 It was a real struggle.
01:45:14.000 He's bald-haired and he's a fighter.
01:45:19.000 Do you trust him?
01:45:20.000 I wouldn't trust a bald dude to cut my hair if I had a nice hair like you.
01:45:24.000 And he's a fighter.
01:45:26.000 He's going to give me a Z somewhere.
01:45:27.000 He's over there with all his muscles and shit hacking away at my head and I'm like, This is not really trustworthy at all.
01:45:34.000 Yeah, there was a video out that someone showed me.
01:45:36.000 Was it you?
01:45:37.000 Did you show me, Jamie?
01:45:40.000 I didn't even ask you what it was first.
01:45:42.000 That's how drunk we are.
01:45:44.000 Someone took a phone and it had a sound like a hair cutter and they run it by people's heads and they run away and people freak out on them.
01:45:54.000 Oh, there's nothing wrong with that.
01:45:55.000 They run it up the back of a girl's head.
01:45:57.000 It's a good practical joke.
01:45:58.000 I mean, it'd be way better with a real razor.
01:46:00.000 So mean.
01:46:01.000 It would be.
01:46:02.000 But that's a big deal for people.
01:46:04.000 Can't be cutting off their hair.
01:46:05.000 See, I've always wanted to shave my head at least once in life.
01:46:08.000 You never have?
01:46:09.000 Nah.
01:46:09.000 You should just get a crew cut.
01:46:10.000 You're a beautiful man.
01:46:11.000 Oh, thank you.
01:46:12.000 You have a fucking perfect shaved head.
01:46:13.000 You got a nice thick head of hair.
01:46:14.000 Yeah, I know.
01:46:15.000 But now, you know, contracts and crap.
01:46:17.000 They tell you, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:46:19.000 Gotta keep the same style, man.
01:46:21.000 No.
01:46:21.000 Continuity.
01:46:22.000 Really?
01:46:22.000 Which I kind of call continuity because it's like, do these people really believe I just did this in an hour or was it over the course of a few days, okay?
01:46:30.000 I mean, I always tell them, I'm like...
01:46:33.000 What do y'all think, as producers and networks and whatever, how bad do y'all think the American public is?
01:46:40.000 I mean, how unintelligent that you have to do a scene where I just walked in your door and sat down here and put on my headphones, and then they flipped me over somewhere else going, yeah, so I walked in the door and put on my headphones.
01:46:52.000 I mean, it's so insane.
01:46:54.000 And it's like the recipe.
01:46:56.000 It's like you have to tell them everything you do.
01:46:59.000 And then I set up for the shot and I have to walk out the door.
01:47:01.000 They're like, well, the audience won't know where you came from.
01:47:03.000 It's my fucking shop.
01:47:05.000 I'm here.
01:47:06.000 What do you mean I got to walk through that door?
01:47:08.000 They won't have any idea.
01:47:09.000 They'll be so confused.
01:47:11.000 It's insane.
01:47:12.000 And I've tried so hard to change the recipe a little bit.
01:47:14.000 I understand you have to do certain things, but why do you have to tell the audience what they just saw?
01:47:20.000 Period.
01:47:20.000 Yeah, they're not stupid.
01:47:23.000 If you make them stupid, you can make them stupid.
01:47:26.000 You'd never challenge them ever.
01:47:27.000 I think that as a society, we might be on our way to that, what was that show, Idiocracy?
01:47:32.000 Idiocracy, yeah.
01:47:33.000 Because I argue it all the time.
01:47:35.000 I love my show and I love what we do, but I'm like, why do I got to come out of the door, put my headphones on, and then go, so I got there and I put my headphones on.
01:47:43.000 It was unbelievable, especially after I came through that door.
01:47:48.000 It's so fucking stupid.
01:47:50.000 But they've always done it that way.
01:47:52.000 And I think of it the same way I think about CBS and their medical marijuana ads.
01:47:55.000 There's like a bunch of people that are just trying to protect jobs.
01:47:58.000 They're just like, we're going to make it easier.
01:48:00.000 Easier for people to know.
01:48:01.000 You can't have anything left to chance.
01:48:04.000 They've got to fill their numbers.
01:48:06.000 Well, they act like it's such a bad thing that they can't show that commercial.
01:48:09.000 But at the same time, we're selling boxes that say, this will kill you.
01:48:13.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:48:15.000 And people are buying them.
01:48:16.000 Yeah.
01:48:17.000 Why do you think they still break up shows with commercials?
01:48:20.000 Wouldn't it be more effective if they didn't do that?
01:48:22.000 It's just a monetization problem, I'm sure, but I think you could get a little more bang for your buck by having this episode by so-and-so.
01:48:30.000 Yes!
01:48:32.000 100%.
01:48:32.000 Not only that, I think instead of having two or three ads every five minutes or whatever they make it do, how about you just have a couple of product placements?
01:48:43.000 Correct.
01:48:43.000 On the show and have them cost more.
01:48:45.000 Exactly.
01:48:45.000 And then you've got to put it into the recipe.
01:48:48.000 So some guy like us, it's car guys that are watching the show and they're like, holy shit, he just bought that Porsche.
01:48:54.000 And then it goes commercial and it's like, I'm getting a beer and I'm going to sit back down on the couch.
01:48:58.000 And then the next five minutes is me going, so I went to LA and I bought a Porsche.
01:49:03.000 You already saw that part.
01:49:04.000 I just wasted that guy's time.
01:49:06.000 Yes, exactly.
01:49:07.000 Exactly.
01:49:08.000 And the only reason why you have to do it is because you imagine that people are coming in from these breaks.
01:49:13.000 They're just jumping in in the middle of it.
01:49:16.000 They might.
01:49:17.000 They might be doing that.
01:49:18.000 How about make them figure it out?
01:49:20.000 Correct?
01:49:21.000 Figure it out, bitch.
01:49:22.000 Rewind it.
01:49:23.000 They need to get rid of the Nielsen whole bullshit.
01:49:26.000 Is that real?
01:49:27.000 They're still counting cable boxes.
01:49:28.000 But are they even counting cable boxes?
01:49:30.000 They're not doing anything.
01:49:31.000 They have a Nielsen box, right?
01:49:32.000 So it's not even like a cable box.
01:49:34.000 There's only like a few thousand or whatever, and then they decide what the rating is, and it's like, are you kidding me?
01:49:38.000 Because I'll see my ratings, and I'm like...
01:49:40.000 I know it was more than that.
01:49:42.000 I own the internet company.
01:49:43.000 So I own a social media company.
01:49:46.000 I'm like, oh, we had way more viewers than that.
01:49:48.000 I wonder how they do really know and whether they just accept the fact that even if they don't know the real numbers, at least they have a reliable percentage that everyone can agree on.
01:49:58.000 So if everyone agrees on it, they'll set their advertising rates based on that agreement.
01:50:02.000 Yeah, more or less.
01:50:04.000 But the real ideology of it is we have...
01:50:09.000 We're good to go.
01:50:26.000 How many people there are because right now in the industry people think the viewers are way down and I actually tend to disagree.
01:50:33.000 I think they're up, just the way that we count them are bad.
01:50:37.000 It's definitely not good because I've never been counted.
01:50:42.000 I've never fucking filled out a Nielsen thing.
01:50:44.000 I've never used a Nielsen box.
01:50:46.000 I don't know anybody who has.
01:50:48.000 Neither do I. I met one dude once that said that his brother was like...
01:50:53.000 Can you even find a picture of a Nielsen box?
01:50:55.000 Does it exist?
01:50:57.000 You know that DirecTV has some numbers, right?
01:51:00.000 They must have some numbers.
01:51:01.000 It's all digital.
01:51:02.000 Hell yeah, they got numbers.
01:51:03.000 Down to the...
01:51:03.000 Why wouldn't they know?
01:51:05.000 Even if they're not using it as some sort of a rating system that affects the ratings of a television show, you would think that they would want to know how effective their product is.
01:51:13.000 If you can measure that, why wouldn't you measure that?
01:51:16.000 And they've just never changed it.
01:51:18.000 They really do need to, though.
01:51:19.000 It'd be way cool if they did.
01:51:21.000 It would be weird.
01:51:22.000 It'd be weird if you found out what everybody was watching.
01:51:25.000 What if, like, Keeping Up With The Kardashians is like a billion people an episode?
01:51:31.000 We've found that most of the world is going, what the fuck?
01:51:35.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:51:37.000 Actually, the world still looks at him and goes, what the fuck?
01:51:40.000 Yeah, but what if most of the world...
01:51:42.000 What do you think is like...
01:51:45.000 The biggest disparity has got to be satellite and cable, right?
01:51:51.000 Because they're not allowed to measure those.
01:51:53.000 The mobile phone thing, like mobile phones, they say Netflix specials, like comedy specials, they say 40-something percent of people plus watch them on their phones.
01:52:03.000 Yeah.
01:52:04.000 I mean, I've started to watch everything on my iPad and my phone.
01:52:08.000 I don't really watch TV anymore.
01:52:09.000 I watched the UFC on my phone, on ESPN+. I was like, wow, this is crazy.
01:52:16.000 I'm watching live fights on my phone with a regular connection, not Wi-Fi.
01:52:20.000 This is a weird time.
01:52:22.000 Yeah.
01:52:22.000 I remember when we were younger, we spent thousands of dollars for the giant TV in the box.
01:52:28.000 Yeah.
01:52:29.000 It had the projectors.
01:52:31.000 Well, the thing about the phone is it's kind of selfish.
01:52:34.000 It's like personal.
01:52:35.000 If you're watching a movie on your phone, that's just you watching that movie.
01:52:39.000 Yeah, you're not going to get it.
01:52:40.000 You can't sit next to your wife and watch a movie on your phone.
01:52:43.000 No one's going to deal with that.
01:52:44.000 Even if you're on a plane, that would suck.
01:52:46.000 Exactly.
01:52:47.000 But watching a fight on a phone, it's way less interesting than watching it on a big screen, but you could take it everywhere.
01:52:54.000 So eventually they're going to get that into some large thing, like a hologram or some shit, or augmented reality.
01:53:02.000 It's not going to be too much longer before they're doing all the AI. Yeah.
01:53:06.000 Augmented reality, I think, is really what's interesting to me.
01:53:10.000 Well, isn't Netflix doing something with that right now, with that one show they have out where you can pick the different endings?
01:53:15.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:17.000 That's the Black Mirror show.
01:53:20.000 Yeah.
01:53:21.000 They have a movie.
01:53:22.000 Yeah.
01:53:23.000 Go back to that article again.
01:53:24.000 It's not a new article, it's just an example of one.
01:53:27.000 I was going to say that the TVs have been known to watch what's on your screen and send that data back to a database based off of everything that's currently live on TV. The same thing happens with audio streams and Shazam.
01:53:42.000 There's a couple of different companies that do that.
01:53:44.000 So they sell you data.
01:53:46.000 Yeah, so then they'll sell that back to advertisers.
01:53:49.000 Sort of like the same way what's happening with some of these apps.
01:53:52.000 That's how people found out that companies are tracking you because there's third-party companies that are selling that data once they have it because they don't need it for everything.
01:54:01.000 See, the problem with this kind of shit with people is that that's not what the agreement was.
01:54:06.000 The agreement wasn't that you tell people what I'm watching.
01:54:09.000 The agreement was I buy a TV from you.
01:54:11.000 That was the agreement.
01:54:12.000 Like, when you say, oh, we're gonna sell the data from the people that are watching your TV, you're like, okay.
01:54:18.000 Well, yeah, but the bed is coming in from your cable.
01:54:21.000 I guarantee it's buried in your cable deal.
01:54:23.000 Yeah, the South Park joke.
01:54:23.000 We get to keep it.
01:54:24.000 Oh, does South Park have a bid on that?
01:54:26.000 Well, that whole human centipede thing, the terms of service, like, no one's reading it, but you're agreeing to becoming...
01:54:31.000 I haven't seen that episode.
01:54:32.000 ...like a joke becoming a fucking thing.
01:54:33.000 So how's it go?
01:54:34.000 I'm sorry?
01:54:35.000 Like, just agreeing to the terms of service.
01:54:36.000 Like, you don't know what you're doing, and, like, the joke on that was that you're agreeing to become a human centipede.
01:54:41.000 Yeah.
01:54:43.000 I never saw a human centipede either.
01:54:47.000 I've been to a couple bars.
01:54:48.000 I've seen some.
01:54:52.000 Yeah, they're going to get us in weird ways, but they're just trying to find out who's watching what.
01:54:58.000 The thing is, should your TV be able to just watch you?
01:55:00.000 Should it be able to have a line on what you're watching?
01:55:03.000 Because I know people now that just use Netflix, and they don't have anything.
01:55:08.000 They have an internet connection that's hooked up to their television.
01:55:11.000 Television connects to Netflix automatically.
01:55:12.000 It's like one of the native apps.
01:55:14.000 Yeah, but if you're connected to the internet, you're getting watched, you know, is what most people would say.
01:55:19.000 I'm so paranoid about it, I have a little piece of duct tape on my camera on my iPad.
01:55:24.000 It's a good move.
01:55:24.000 Yeah.
01:55:25.000 It's a good move.
01:55:25.000 I don't need that on there.
01:55:26.000 But the thing is, it's like, yeah, but why are you selling data?
01:55:33.000 Because someone wants to buy it.
01:55:35.000 Yeah, but why are you allowed to just collect data from people?
01:55:38.000 It's pretty much in the contract you sign, I guarantee it.
01:55:41.000 Literally, there should be two prices.
01:55:44.000 This should be one where you're allowed to collect data.
01:55:47.000 You can collect data from me, but it costs like 50 bucks more.
01:55:51.000 A year.
01:55:53.000 And the other one where, you know, you can't collect my data.
01:55:57.000 I have to pay a little bit more money.
01:55:59.000 That's kind of happening.
01:56:01.000 There are, like, apps you can use that'll track how much you're walking in exchange for letting you turn on that.
01:56:08.000 They'll give you stuff.
01:56:09.000 Right.
01:56:09.000 Like, whatever.
01:56:10.000 If it's useful to you, I don't know.
01:56:11.000 What are you talking about?
01:56:12.000 Like, if you walked by a McDonald's, they can serve you up a McDonald's ad?
01:56:16.000 For sure.
01:56:17.000 No shit.
01:56:17.000 Yeah.
01:56:18.000 Well, that's the ultimate goal, right?
01:56:20.000 It's to figure out where you are and target you with something.
01:56:23.000 Yeah.
01:56:24.000 Yeah.
01:56:24.000 So my friend Adam Greentree was on here and we were talking about, he lives in Australia.
01:56:28.000 And he lives, he travels like deep into the outback where it takes like three days to drive in.
01:56:33.000 And I said, everybody has Toyota trucks because those fucking things never break.
01:56:37.000 They don't.
01:56:37.000 They don't.
01:56:38.000 And so he gets ads all of a sudden out of nowhere on his phone every time he goes to a website that says Toyota trucks.
01:56:44.000 He's like, what the fuck?
01:56:45.000 He goes, I didn't Google it.
01:56:47.000 Those are called cookies.
01:56:48.000 Well, it's kind of called cookies, but it's not something that came from a search.
01:56:52.000 It's something that came from something in his phone is listening.
01:56:56.000 We said the word Toyota trucks.
01:56:59.000 It registered it, and it added it to his queue of his Google search.
01:57:03.000 I got so many messages from people after we brought this up.
01:57:07.000 So many messages from people that brought...
01:57:08.000 When we brought this up the other day, I got tons of messages.
01:57:11.000 Like, you guys mentioned...
01:57:12.000 Do they think it's real?
01:57:13.000 ...say X, and they started getting served ads for that.
01:57:16.000 Like I said, I just said chlamydia.
01:57:18.000 I don't know.
01:57:22.000 Penicillin, Inc.
01:57:23.000 He tried to buy stock.
01:57:26.000 It's like, he's got so much chlamydia, we're going to sell him all the penicillin.
01:57:29.000 But it would be smart.
01:57:32.000 Not to interrupt.
01:57:33.000 My assistant just said, just bought...
01:57:36.000 Stock and chlamydia?
01:57:37.000 Cuntscreener.com.
01:57:39.000 We actually own it.
01:57:41.000 Kaz Monkey actually owns Cuntscreener.com now.
01:57:50.000 The border wall is a fucking tough question.
01:57:52.000 A certain amount of people are just going to be mad at you.
01:57:54.000 You fucking cucks.
01:57:55.000 Why don't you go over there and suck all those Mexican dicks?
01:57:58.000 I don't know about that.
01:57:59.000 Some people are going to get there.
01:58:01.000 They're going to get angry.
01:58:02.000 I might go down and chase some Latino ladies for sure.
01:58:06.000 It's such a hot fucking topic.
01:58:09.000 But that's also, if you open yourself up to comments.
01:58:13.000 Well, somebody brought one up the other day that was a general discussion question and said, you know, why don't we just do DNA for the sake of your board?
01:58:20.000 We take your fingerprints.
01:58:21.000 We take everything else.
01:58:22.000 We check you all out.
01:58:23.000 Why don't we just do the DNA? And I get the privacy part of it for later on.
01:58:28.000 But at the same time, you're solving a lot of problems from the very beginning.
01:58:32.000 Okay, this person just came out of here and they've done nothing.
01:58:36.000 Right.
01:58:37.000 So now if they ever do anything...
01:58:39.000 We know to go shoot them in the back of the head.
01:58:41.000 Well, we certainly could do that, but we would have to place a gigantic priority on getting the very best people in law enforcement.
01:58:51.000 You would have to eliminate all shitheads.
01:58:54.000 You would have to pay those cops way more and treat them With the respect that they deserve as people that literally are protecting you from violent criminals.
01:59:03.000 I was one, I know.
01:59:04.000 I'm a huge supporter of cops.
01:59:06.000 I've been around cops most of my life because of martial arts.
01:59:10.000 I know a lot of cops.
01:59:12.000 And this is a weird issue with people where they fuck the police.
01:59:16.000 No.
01:59:17.000 You're saying fuck the police, you might as well say fuck the humans.
01:59:20.000 If someone does something bad to someone, we don't say fuck all humans.
01:59:26.000 If someone murders someone, we say fuck that guy, and then you start breaking it down to whatever group you're not a part of.
01:59:32.000 So it's fuck that...
01:59:34.000 X-generation guy.
01:59:36.000 Fuck that Lebanese guy or whatever nationality he is.
01:59:39.000 Fuck that straight guy.
01:59:41.000 Or if he's gay and he killed somebody, fuck that gay guy.
01:59:45.000 But it's just humans.
01:59:46.000 We're all individuals.
01:59:48.000 No matter what it is.
01:59:50.000 No matter what we're talking about.
01:59:52.000 And as soon as you start breaking everybody down into groups, like, oh, fuck these people.
01:59:57.000 You can't do that with everybody.
01:59:59.000 They're just because of...
02:00:01.000 What's that?
02:00:01.000 Then it just becomes a fight.
02:00:02.000 Everybody's bitching.
02:00:03.000 You can't do that.
02:00:05.000 You can't do that.
02:00:07.000 We're all fucking in this thing together.
02:00:09.000 Correct.
02:00:12.000 Goddamn, we're drunk, right?
02:00:14.000 Probably too drunk.
02:00:15.000 We're not drunk yet.
02:00:18.000 You only had one hit of that weed.
02:00:20.000 That's all I needed.
02:00:21.000 I'm probably going to be in trouble for that.
02:00:22.000 Did they give you a hard time about that?
02:00:24.000 Who knows.
02:00:25.000 The way I look at it is, it's legal in California where I'm at, so it's legal.
02:00:31.000 Exactly.
02:00:32.000 How many people used to go down to Mexico to watch whatever or do whatever?
02:00:37.000 I'm amazed that people are still bringing in weed from Mexico.
02:00:41.000 That shows me a real lack of American ingenuity.
02:00:44.000 That's outrageous.
02:00:45.000 Well, the Canadians are the ones that are growing the most weed now.
02:00:48.000 What do you Google it, Jamie?
02:00:49.000 Cuntscreener.com currently will redirect you to this podcast.
02:00:58.000 Did it really?
02:00:59.000 Oh, that is so fucking stupid.
02:01:02.000 The internet is undefeated.
02:01:04.000 I gotta give a shout out to my people.
02:01:06.000 They set that up.
02:01:07.000 That's amazing.
02:01:09.000 Your people did that that quickly?
02:01:10.000 Yes.
02:01:11.000 You got some rock solid human beings working for you.
02:01:13.000 So we're automatically directed to Cutscreener.com.
02:01:16.000 I hope Discovery Channel doesn't get hit with a wave of protests.
02:01:21.000 What channel are you on?
02:01:22.000 Discovery.
02:01:23.000 Yeah, it is Discovery.
02:01:23.000 They have a giant network, though, right?
02:01:25.000 How many different channels are on the Discovery Network?
02:01:28.000 Total channels, I think, is like 80 or 90 or something.
02:01:31.000 That's crazy.
02:01:31.000 It might be more than that.
02:01:33.000 That's crazy.
02:01:34.000 I mean, they have some channels that I've never even heard of, like the Brick Wall Channel.
02:01:38.000 I have no idea.
02:01:39.000 Just insane stuff.
02:01:41.000 They divide it all down.
02:01:42.000 I think there needs to be a little consolidation in the market.
02:01:45.000 Yeah, well, you know, it's...
02:01:48.000 Everybody loves Top Gear, right?
02:01:50.000 Like, Top Gear is probably, like, one of the greatest car shows of all time.
02:01:53.000 I never really watched it.
02:01:55.000 How dare you!
02:01:56.000 I'm telling you.
02:01:57.000 How dare you, Richard Rawlings!
02:02:00.000 But it's, uh...
02:02:01.000 Is it dead now?
02:02:02.000 Or is it still...
02:02:02.000 Well, they've...
02:02:03.000 They're the Grand...
02:02:03.000 What is it?
02:02:04.000 The Grand Tour?
02:02:05.000 Or something like that?
02:02:06.000 Something like that.
02:02:06.000 On Amazon.
02:02:08.000 Amazon picked it up.
02:02:08.000 I haven't watched a single episode of the new one.
02:02:10.000 But the old one was the shit.
02:02:12.000 And part of it that was fun was that, you know...
02:02:16.000 Those guys were kind of nuts.
02:02:18.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:02:19.000 Yeah.
02:02:19.000 That's what we do, you know, at Gas Monkey.
02:02:21.000 We cut loose, we have fun, we light stuff on fire, break it, whatever.
02:02:25.000 Yeah.
02:02:26.000 And there was some violence.
02:02:28.000 What's his name, the head guy?
02:02:31.000 Clarkson, was it?
02:02:32.000 Jeremy?
02:02:33.000 Jeremy Clarkson.
02:02:33.000 Got into a little trouble.
02:02:34.000 Punch some producer, right?
02:02:35.000 Oh, trust me.
02:02:37.000 I don't know if that producer deserved it or not, but I've had to reserve myself quite a few times.
02:02:43.000 People get crazy.
02:02:45.000 You're putting a show together.
02:02:46.000 It's a lot of work.
02:02:49.000 Especially those guys, the producers, the camera guys, the sound guys, the people that are sitting in the discovery offices and all that, they have jobs.
02:02:56.000 This is my life I'm putting on every single day.
02:02:59.000 And so not only do I have my whole life on it and in it, but then I have to deal with filming it.
02:03:05.000 And I've tried to explain that to them because they don't care to a point if the show does well or bad because there'll be another Richard down the road.
02:03:12.000 Right, right.
02:03:13.000 Yeah, there's a lot of high volume approach when it comes to those kind of like cable shows.
02:03:19.000 They just try to bang out as many as they can.
02:03:23.000 High volume, you know?
02:03:24.000 And they have a formula that they try to follow and they have a lot of like set up scenarios where people get in trouble for things where they're not really getting in trouble.
02:03:33.000 It's just all set up in advance, you know?
02:03:35.000 It's almost scripted, right?
02:03:37.000 A lot of reality shows.
02:03:38.000 Some of them can be.
02:03:39.000 You just poured the fifth shot.
02:03:41.000 How dare you?
02:03:42.000 I think it's the fourth.
02:03:44.000 Or is it fifth?
02:03:44.000 I think it's the fifth.
02:03:47.000 But I think it's that they...
02:03:50.000 I was telling myself this morning I should cut back on drinking.
02:03:54.000 I tell myself that every morning.
02:04:00.000 But it's so wild because I've known as the guy that likes to drink some cold Miller Lights and hang out in the garage.
02:04:05.000 So even on my own bars and restaurants and stuff, and they'll come in, they're like, I'm buying you a beer.
02:04:09.000 And I'm like, sir, you really don't have to.
02:04:11.000 I own the place.
02:04:12.000 Oh, I'm buying it.
02:04:13.000 I'm like, you really don't have to.
02:04:14.000 They're like, no, I'm buying it.
02:04:15.000 And I'm like, ring him up, Sally.
02:04:18.000 Well, it makes people feel good.
02:04:19.000 People like buying people shit like that.
02:04:21.000 That's a beautiful thing about booze.
02:04:23.000 People like buying people a drink.
02:04:25.000 Let me buy you a drink.
02:04:26.000 All right!
02:04:27.000 It's like a nice gesture.
02:04:29.000 Exactly.
02:04:29.000 People don't buy people sandwiches, right?
02:04:32.000 They buy people drinks.
02:04:33.000 Oh, I'm down for a pizza, sandwich, anything, anytime.
02:04:35.000 I'm going to buy you an herbal tea.
02:04:37.000 No one's ever said that.
02:04:39.000 Yeah, no.
02:04:39.000 Well, we're in California.
02:04:40.000 I'm sure they're saying it right now.
02:04:42.000 They probably said that.
02:04:42.000 Would you like matcha or just the regular herbs or what?
02:04:45.000 People probably said that.
02:04:46.000 Just try to appear spiritual.
02:04:48.000 I'd like to buy you an herbal tea.
02:04:50.000 Yes.
02:04:50.000 I'd like to purchase you with Bitcoin an herbal tea.
02:04:57.000 I had a girl ask me just the other day, she goes, your aura seems different.
02:05:02.000 Interesting.
02:05:04.000 I'm like, I don't get that, lady, at all.
02:05:07.000 She goes, well, I see you every year here at Bear Jackson, and your glow is different.
02:05:12.000 Your glow is different.
02:05:13.000 I'm like, well, I'm still using the same Tom Ford Axe body spray thing.
02:05:18.000 People have weird things they say to people to fuck with them.
02:05:22.000 Are you gaining weight?
02:05:23.000 Are you gaining weight, Richard?
02:05:25.000 Your aura's different.
02:05:27.000 Yeah, you look so thin.
02:05:28.000 Is your diet okay?
02:05:30.000 Is your diet okay?
02:05:31.000 My diet's great.
02:05:33.000 Your aura's different, Richard.
02:05:35.000 I'm trying to figure out what's wrong.
02:05:37.000 Are you not happy?
02:05:38.000 Are you not happy?
02:05:39.000 Oh, I'm perfectly happy.
02:05:41.000 What's wrong?
02:05:42.000 What's wrong?
02:05:42.000 Like, what's wrong with you, crazy?
02:05:43.000 Okay, fine.
02:05:44.000 Fuck it up.
02:05:45.000 That's what they're hoping.
02:05:46.000 They're hoping you're ready to crack.
02:05:48.000 I can't take it any longer.
02:05:49.000 It's a fucking...
02:05:50.000 They're just juking you.
02:05:52.000 Come on.
02:05:52.000 I know you're scared.
02:05:54.000 Exactly.
02:05:54.000 Yeah.
02:05:55.000 They're tricking you.
02:05:56.000 Tricking you and revealing some shit.
02:05:58.000 Your aura's off, Richard.
02:06:00.000 Something's wrong with your aura.
02:06:02.000 You should probably be able to punch people that say that.
02:06:05.000 We should definitely go, hey, fuck off.
02:06:07.000 Auras aren't real.
02:06:08.000 Bitch, you need to draw the aura.
02:06:09.000 Show me what the...
02:06:10.000 You gotta have some science behind this.
02:06:12.000 The whole ideology of fuck off is my thing.
02:06:15.000 So the gas muggy ring?
02:06:16.000 Yeah.
02:06:17.000 Underneath it says fuck off.
02:06:19.000 I'm shaking your hand.
02:06:20.000 How you doing?
02:06:23.000 That's hilarious.
02:06:25.000 You should always be able to say fuck off.
02:06:27.000 If you can't say fuck off, but you have to be judicious, right?
02:06:30.000 You have to say fuck off when fuck off is appropriate, but you have to also salute people when they're not full of shit.
02:06:37.000 Yeah.
02:06:38.000 Yeah.
02:06:38.000 He's like, you're definitely not the person I'm telling the fuck off.
02:06:40.000 You're alright.
02:06:41.000 You're a good dude.
02:06:42.000 You're alright, man.
02:06:43.000 You gotta have positive and negative.
02:06:45.000 Like someone who's telling you they're reading your auras.
02:06:49.000 Okay, you might be able to.
02:06:50.000 I mean, I don't know what the fuck you're seeing.
02:06:52.000 I barely know what I'm seeing.
02:06:53.000 I have no idea if what I'm seeing is really even remotely similar to what you're seeing.
02:06:57.000 I'm just assuming.
02:06:59.000 There you go.
02:07:00.000 It's just a guess.
02:07:01.000 Some people like weird fucking cars, right?
02:07:04.000 Some people are really into certain cars you go, I don't get it.
02:07:09.000 Yeah, like a Pinto hatchback or something.
02:07:10.000 Some people are really into those.
02:07:12.000 Pintos are popular with some groups.
02:07:14.000 Some people are really into gross looking shit.
02:07:17.000 I don't know what they're seeing.
02:07:19.000 Maybe they're seeing something different than me.
02:07:21.000 Well, it's just probably a combination of their childhood, their upbringing, what have you.
02:07:25.000 But isn't, like, is it possible that, like, personal taste is a lot like sprinting speed?
02:07:32.000 Like, not everybody is going to be Carl Lewis, right?
02:07:37.000 Not everybody is going to be some, who's another fast guy?
02:07:42.000 Hussein Bolt.
02:07:42.000 Hussein Bolt is the fastest ever, right?
02:07:44.000 He's supposed to be, yeah.
02:07:45.000 He's the fastest ever.
02:07:47.000 Not everybody can do that.
02:07:48.000 So, isn't it possible that that would also apply to taste?
02:07:54.000 There's people out there that really get what's wrong with your fucking shitty taste.
02:07:58.000 Yeah.
02:07:59.000 And there's other people out there that likes fox-bodied Mustangs.
02:08:03.000 I'm really into fox-body.
02:08:04.000 I think it's the best-looking car of all time.
02:08:06.000 It's the best ever.
02:08:07.000 I just left Barrett-Jackson, and when you see something roll across the stage, and you're just like, bleh, why in the hell did somebody just buy that?
02:08:13.000 Why are you buying that?
02:08:14.000 I don't get it.
02:08:14.000 And they're over there clapping, and they're all happy, ordering drinks for their friends.
02:08:18.000 Look, I just bought an 81...
02:08:21.000 Yeah.
02:08:21.000 Thunderbird Turbo.
02:08:23.000 I brought a Mustang 5.0 like Vanilla Ice had in this video.
02:08:29.000 We're going in dangerous waters there.
02:08:31.000 My buddy sold one at Barrett last year.
02:08:33.000 It's the Vanilla Ice car.
02:08:35.000 It's not the worst car in the world, but if you had to compare, what is that, like, 87, 88?
02:08:42.000 Like, what was that car?
02:08:43.000 What year was that?
02:08:44.000 The Vanilla Ice car?
02:08:45.000 89?
02:08:46.000 Was it 89?
02:08:47.000 Okay.
02:08:48.000 That 5.0?
02:08:49.000 Mustang 5.0?
02:08:50.000 Maybe it was 87. He had a drop top down so his locks can flow, didn't he?
02:08:55.000 Something like that.
02:08:56.000 Yeah.
02:08:57.000 You know, he grew up just up the street from where I grew up.
02:09:00.000 I met him at a UFC, I believe.
02:09:02.000 I believe he was very nice.
02:09:04.000 There it is.
02:09:05.000 Bam.
02:09:06.000 My friend Kevin Chason had one of those, but he didn't have a convertible.
02:09:10.000 Rolling in my 5.0.
02:09:12.000 We were like fucking 20 years old.
02:09:14.000 That car, back in the day, was the shit.
02:09:18.000 If you had one of those cars, you were a fucking hero.
02:09:21.000 It was fast.
02:09:21.000 It was fun.
02:09:22.000 It was also like, it was the car to have.
02:09:24.000 It had like 230 horsepower.
02:09:26.000 Did it really?
02:09:27.000 Probably.
02:09:27.000 A 5.0?
02:09:28.000 I wonder.
02:09:29.000 It might not have had any more, but it was good because we were all stupid and we didn't know how to drive anyway.
02:09:33.000 But those cars were, at that time, for whatever reason, Like, whatever was wrong with people, that was a good-looking car.
02:09:42.000 But if you looked at that car compared to, like, a 69 Mach 1, like, get the fuck out of here.
02:09:48.000 How did you do this?
02:09:49.000 Go to a 69 Mach 1. That's the best car ever.
02:09:53.000 Go to a black 1969 Mach 1. Absolutely best car ever.
02:09:56.000 It's one of them.
02:09:58.000 I mean, there's some arguments out there of one or the other, but it's in the fucking race for sure.
02:10:04.000 It's in the top three.
02:10:05.000 Go to a Black 69 Mach 1. Get the fuck out of here.
02:10:08.000 That's a resto mod piece of shit.
02:10:10.000 Find a real one.
02:10:11.000 It's true.
02:10:12.000 That is a resto mod, but the shape is in order.
02:10:15.000 There you go.
02:10:15.000 That's a Boss 9 car.
02:10:16.000 That's correct.
02:10:17.000 There's a Mach 1. Oh, look how good that is.
02:10:19.000 The one down there, the big picture.
02:10:21.000 It's a 70. Oh, is it a 70?
02:10:22.000 Yeah, you've got to have four headlights on the 69. Oh, that's right.
02:10:25.000 It's the missing side lights.
02:10:29.000 71 Mach 1 was what Keanu Reeves had.
02:10:32.000 Well, that's what it changed.
02:10:33.000 No, he had a Chevelle, didn't he?
02:10:35.000 No, he had a Chevelle after they stole his fucking Mustang.
02:10:38.000 That's why he went on a killing spree.
02:10:40.000 Yeah, that's what it was.
02:10:41.000 Dude, they did the ultimatum, okay?
02:10:43.000 They killed his dog and they stole his Mustang.
02:10:46.000 There you go.
02:10:47.000 You gotta go kill those people.
02:10:47.000 Yeah, they killed some Russians.
02:10:49.000 There you go.
02:10:50.000 I actually did some promo for that show.
02:10:51.000 It was pretty good.
02:10:52.000 That fucking movie...
02:10:53.000 Here's what's...
02:10:54.000 There it is.
02:10:55.000 There's the John Wick Mustang.
02:10:56.000 There it is.
02:10:57.000 The guy was talking to him in Russian about his Mustang.
02:11:01.000 Fuck, that's a good car.
02:11:03.000 The show was great because the kid was just a total fuck-up.
02:11:06.000 The father's like, what do I do with this?
02:11:08.000 Do I kill my kid or kill this dude?
02:11:11.000 And then he came with what I said.
02:11:13.000 We were talking about your Chevelle, your 68 Chevelle.
02:11:15.000 I go between 68, 69 and those 1970s.
02:11:18.000 Sometimes I look at those 70s and I go, God damn, that's the perfect car.
02:11:22.000 They look a little tougher.
02:11:23.000 It's a madman's car.
02:11:25.000 Look at that one.
02:11:26.000 Woo!
02:11:26.000 I need one.
02:11:27.000 Look at that goddamn thing, that Mach 1, 69. We're going to build one on the show.
02:11:31.000 Oh!
02:11:32.000 Hopefully this year.
02:11:33.000 That's a fucking beautiful car.
02:11:36.000 Yeah, 69 Mach 1 and the Boss 429. I need to get into building some of these movie cars because I've seen some of them up close and they're shit.
02:11:46.000 Go to Classic Recreations, Boss 429. Go to this.
02:11:50.000 You need to see this.
02:11:51.000 He made this murdered out 1969. And it's, look at that thing!
02:11:59.000 How dare you!
02:12:00.000 Now that's perfect.
02:12:01.000 Woo!
02:12:02.000 That's perfect right there.
02:12:03.000 Jesus Christ!
02:12:05.000 Look at that goddamn car!
02:12:07.000 Yeah, whoever owns that right now, give me a call, I might buy that.
02:12:09.000 Holy shit!
02:12:10.000 That's pretty awesome.
02:12:12.000 That's about as America as an eagle killing a terrorist.
02:12:17.000 Exactly.
02:12:18.000 Right?
02:12:22.000 Look at that fucking car, man.
02:12:24.000 Don't go away from that picture, Jamie.
02:12:26.000 Go back to that picture.
02:12:27.000 Good lord.
02:12:29.000 That's pretty good.
02:12:31.000 There's not a better looking car.
02:12:33.000 There's just different.
02:12:35.000 Nothing's better looking than that.
02:12:37.000 It doesn't exist.
02:12:39.000 I don't give a fuck what anybody says.
02:12:41.000 There's nothing better looking than that car.
02:12:44.000 There's just different.
02:12:45.000 I agree.
02:12:46.000 We've had a few Boss 429s through the shop, but definitely not a modern one like that.
02:12:50.000 There's a gang of evil cars from that day, but there's not a better looking one than that.
02:12:55.000 Dude, people just, I mean, the manufacturers were just trying to one-up each other.
02:12:59.000 I mean, it was kind of just the wild west of automobile and like, I'm going to, I'll do you, no, I'll do you.
02:13:04.000 And I wish, you know, we're sort of in that again right now.
02:13:07.000 Yeah, right now.
02:13:08.000 Dodge and Chevy and Ford are kind of doing the same thing right now.
02:13:12.000 They are, and it's also elevated everybody's interior game.
02:13:15.000 Keep that up there.
02:13:17.000 Don't you take that down.
02:13:18.000 God, it's like shutting down porn.
02:13:19.000 What's wrong with you?
02:13:20.000 Everybody's interior game stepped up, too, because it used to be like the Germans and the Japanese had much higher build quality with the interiors, but Corvette has had to step up its game considerably.
02:13:32.000 The new Corvette's a very nice interior.
02:13:34.000 Tony Hinchcliffe has one.
02:13:36.000 Stand-up comedian extraordinaire, Tony Hinchcliffe.
02:13:38.000 He's got a Grand Sport, which a lot of people think is the best because it's not too overpowered.
02:13:44.000 It's still got the wide body.
02:13:46.000 But I look at the interior, I go, this is a nice interior, man.
02:13:49.000 It's not like it used to be.
02:13:50.000 It used to be the car's fast as fuck, but the seats are wonky.
02:13:53.000 And there's nothing in it.
02:13:54.000 Nothing!
02:13:55.000 You have a two-spoke steering wheel that you can actually bend it.
02:14:00.000 Those cars were terrible.
02:14:02.000 I just noticed, are these fake clouds in the air?
02:14:04.000 Yeah.
02:14:05.000 What's the point?
02:14:05.000 What they are is these lights that used to have clear covers, and instead we got this thing from Octolights, and they're a company that makes, it's like a photograph of clouds that you could see through.
02:14:19.000 So we put it over the top of the light itself.
02:14:24.000 Did Octomom start that?
02:14:25.000 Octolights.
02:14:26.000 Oh, gotcha.
02:14:30.000 There's only six lights in here, not eight.
02:14:33.000 Well, in the old place, we had them.
02:14:34.000 They were stars.
02:14:35.000 But the news place, the lights, these are LED lights.
02:14:38.000 They're just not as bright.
02:14:39.000 So we had to change it to clouds.
02:14:40.000 I've got the new Rolls with the star.
02:14:43.000 Oh, you have that?
02:14:44.000 Yeah, I've got a Wraith.
02:14:46.000 And it's got the shooting star every once in a while.
02:14:49.000 Oh, really?
02:14:49.000 Yeah, so a lot of people don't know that the star pattern that they put in the headliner in the car...
02:14:55.000 Is the exact star pattern from, I guess, the original factory or whatever.
02:15:01.000 Oh, wow.
02:15:01.000 And, you know, what have you.
02:15:03.000 But...
02:15:04.000 Unbelievable.
02:15:05.000 You're riding along, you got stars above you.
02:15:08.000 It's freaking rad.
02:15:09.000 Yeah, my neighbor has one of those.
02:15:10.000 That car is epic.
02:15:11.000 It's an epic.
02:15:12.000 He's got the Wraith, the two-door?
02:15:14.000 He's got the four-door.
02:15:15.000 Nah, I got the two-door.
02:15:16.000 But you get in it and you go, this car is preposterous.
02:15:19.000 It's so quiet.
02:15:20.000 It's like you're barely connected to the outside world.
02:15:23.000 Look at that.
02:15:24.000 There you go.
02:15:24.000 Starlight Rage.
02:15:26.000 Those suicide doors?
02:15:27.000 Mm-hmm.
02:15:28.000 Look at that fucking ceiling, man.
02:15:30.000 You're barely connected to the world.
02:15:32.000 Barely.
02:15:33.000 You barely pay attention.
02:15:34.000 Oh, I jump in there and my poodle, Fifi, jumps in.
02:15:38.000 I got a standard black poodle, this big girl.
02:15:42.000 And she jumps in there and just rides around, looking at people.
02:15:45.000 Didn't they develop poodles for some specific hunting reason?
02:15:49.000 Yeah, they were hunters.
02:15:50.000 Yeah.
02:15:51.000 Like, people think of poodles, they think of poodles as like a rich person, a Beverly Hills dog.
02:15:56.000 The Bel Air poodles.
02:15:58.000 Yeah.
02:15:59.000 No, they were bred as hunters and what have you.
02:16:01.000 As a matter of fact, mine, I call her Fifi, that's her name, and she brought a rabbit in one night.
02:16:07.000 She comes to bed, I'm laying there, and I'm like, what is she messing with?
02:16:11.000 So I reach down in the dark and...
02:16:12.000 Pull up this rabbit.
02:16:14.000 I'm like, what the frick?
02:16:17.000 But they softmouth them.
02:16:20.000 It's in their genes.
02:16:22.000 They don't kill them.
02:16:22.000 They bring them to the master as a shine of respect, a show of respect, plus they don't kill it.
02:16:31.000 So she brought a live rabbit into my bed.
02:16:35.000 That rabbit must have been having a tough day.
02:16:37.000 Oh, dude, but it went all freaking possum on you.
02:16:41.000 It just laid there.
02:16:42.000 And I carried it out, put it down.
02:16:43.000 Did it run away, eventually?
02:16:45.000 About ten minutes is what it took it to come out of frozen state.
02:16:48.000 I mean, it just got ate by a poodle and brought into bed with me.
02:16:51.000 It probably feels like as long as it's alive, just go with this.
02:16:55.000 Just go limp and hope you're just a toy.
02:16:58.000 Just hope it happens.
02:16:59.000 Yeah, that's the good thing about...
02:17:00.000 Phoebe's got her own Instagram.
02:17:02.000 She's doing well.
02:17:02.000 Oh, nice.
02:17:03.000 Yeah, she's always showing off.
02:17:04.000 Domestic dogs, right?
02:17:06.000 Like, they don't need to eat.
02:17:07.000 They don't need to kill you to eat.
02:17:09.000 So they're only grabbing you.
02:17:11.000 So rabbits are probably like, just keep it together and he'll just eventually get bored.
02:17:15.000 Exactly.
02:17:15.000 He doesn't really want to eat you.
02:17:16.000 What is that?
02:17:17.000 It's a poodle.
02:17:18.000 What?
02:17:19.000 1649. Get the fuck out of here.
02:17:21.000 It's an engraving of it.
02:17:23.000 How about in 1649?
02:17:24.000 They already fucked dogs up to that point.
02:17:28.000 Because all dogs come from wolves.
02:17:32.000 There's Phoebe right there.
02:17:33.000 One of the weirdest stories that came out of genetics is understanding that all dogs came from wolves.
02:17:43.000 They didn't think that, I think.
02:17:44.000 I'm pretty sure they thought that all dogs were like a combination of a bunch of different things, like wild dogs and different things that eventually became like a mastiff or something.
02:17:55.000 But now they realize, no, Every single dog, from a Chihuahua to a Great Dane, comes from a wolf.
02:18:03.000 Yeah, but, I mean, there's some dogs that, what do you do with them?
02:18:06.000 I mean, you've got a 150-pound Mastiff that just lays there and slobbers.
02:18:10.000 I had a 140-pound Mastiff.
02:18:11.000 He lived to be 13 years old.
02:18:13.000 He was awesome.
02:18:13.000 He's a great dog.
02:18:14.000 No, they're great dogs, but they're just there.
02:18:17.000 And they're huge.
02:18:18.000 They're smart and they're big.
02:18:20.000 And I don't like take, I don't mind, I mean, especially here in California, you've got to pick up the dog's crap.
02:18:25.000 But, you don't in Texas?
02:18:26.000 I don't want to pick up a crap that's bigger than mine.
02:18:28.000 In Texas, you find dogs that you just shoot at.
02:18:32.000 No, you gotta pick it up.
02:18:33.000 It's everywhere.
02:18:35.000 There's people walking along, and that just cracks me up.
02:18:38.000 I'm like, I'm gonna follow this giant animal around and pick up its shit.
02:18:42.000 That's the least of your worries.
02:18:43.000 The real problem is it doesn't understand how big it is, and it knocks people down stairs and shit.
02:18:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:18:47.000 You gotta be real careful.
02:18:48.000 If you have steep stairs and a big dog, you have to really train that motherfucker correctly.
02:18:53.000 You gotta let him know, hey, you can't jump on the four-year-old at the top stair, you fucking dummy.
02:19:00.000 But he's a dog.
02:19:01.000 He just loves you.
02:19:02.000 They love you.
02:19:02.000 You get big dogs.
02:19:04.000 Like my friend Johnny Cash was my dog.
02:19:08.000 And my friend Joe sold him to me.
02:19:10.000 And he was a trainer of dogs for movies and shit.
02:19:14.000 You know the movie The Incredible Hulk?
02:19:16.000 The one with Eric Bana, when Nick Nolte plays his dad, and Nick Nolte's the bad guy, and he's like a scientist, and he sticks the Hulk serum into these dogs, and he turns these dogs into these big, giant, hulking mastiffs.
02:19:29.000 Well, the original dog was actually my friend's dog, and he was a trainer of these dogs, and he brought him to Fear Factor.
02:19:37.000 And on Fear Factor, these dogs were just laying around, like, super chill.
02:19:40.000 Like...
02:19:41.000 That's the cartoon dog, but there was like a real dog before that.
02:19:45.000 The dog was...
02:19:46.000 He's a Regency Mastiff, and his name was Curly.
02:19:51.000 So, anyway, this guy, he developed these, he raised these dogs and made them to, he bred them to this place where they just had no aggression.
02:20:02.000 No aggression to dogs, no aggression to people.
02:20:05.000 This dog was like a hulk, just a giant mass of muscle.
02:20:09.000 But you can come up to it, anybody can come up to him.
02:20:11.000 Pet it, little kids were petting it, and he was like gently kissing their face.
02:20:15.000 He was the sweetheart of sweethearts.
02:20:17.000 What kind of place do we run in here?
02:20:18.000 You only got one more?
02:20:19.000 We got more people out there.
02:20:20.000 I'm good.
02:20:23.000 But anyway, he's a big dog, but he's a super sweetheart.
02:20:26.000 It's all about, like, breeders.
02:20:28.000 Like, how they breed them.
02:20:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
02:20:30.000 What kind of dogs do you have?
02:20:31.000 Just Fifi, the poodle.
02:20:34.000 Standard poodle.
02:20:36.000 How much does Fifi weigh?
02:20:37.000 Probably 60. It's a reasonable shit.
02:20:40.000 You're cleaning up a reasonable handful.
02:20:42.000 I know.
02:20:43.000 Yeah.
02:20:44.000 Several times a day.
02:20:45.000 It's like, if you have, like, an English Mastiff...
02:20:48.000 No, you don't have the one bag.
02:20:50.000 You've got two bags.
02:20:51.000 You've got a hunk of shit.
02:20:52.000 And then you've got to figure out how to roll this one and roll this one.
02:20:56.000 You've got a pot roast of shit that comes out of that animal's asshole every few hours.
02:21:01.000 It's insane.
02:21:03.000 Yeah, those poor fellas and gals don't live very long, though, unfortunately.
02:21:08.000 That's what's sad, those really big dogs.
02:21:10.000 Like eight, nine years, they're done.
02:21:12.000 Mine lived to be 13, which is extraordinary.
02:21:14.000 That's pretty old.
02:21:15.000 But he was hurt and...
02:21:17.000 I had to put him down.
02:21:19.000 He couldn't walk.
02:21:20.000 I would have to carry him to his food and then carry him back outside so he can go to the bathroom.
02:21:25.000 It was bad.
02:21:28.000 The trials and tribulations of big dogs.
02:21:30.000 Next on the JRE. You can tune in on cuntscreener.com.
02:21:42.000 That might be one of the greatest things that's ever happened in the history of this show.
02:21:45.000 Is cuntscreener.com trending yet?
02:21:48.000 For sure.
02:21:49.000 For sure.
02:21:50.000 And people are going to be mad at us.
02:21:52.000 Why did you have to use a derogatory term for a month's vagina?
02:21:56.000 Why can't it be a dick screener?
02:21:58.000 These guys are dicks.
02:21:59.000 They're assholes.
02:22:01.000 Dicks and assholes.
02:22:02.000 And yet you chose cunt.
02:22:04.000 Well, we were thinking about manhole, but it's the same.
02:22:07.000 Yeah, well...
02:22:09.000 Australia has the proper use of the word cunt.
02:22:11.000 There's too much reverence to that word in America.
02:22:14.000 People get confused about it.
02:22:16.000 In Australia, they just throw that bitch around like it's a beach ball.
02:22:19.000 Oh yeah, they do.
02:22:20.000 I've had some Australians on my show, yeah.
02:22:23.000 I'm from Texas, I'm like, holy shit, he's saying that word a lot.
02:22:26.000 Hey, these fucking cunts.
02:22:27.000 He's a good cunt.
02:22:29.000 That's my favorite.
02:22:30.000 He's a good cunt.
02:22:31.000 He's a good cunt.
02:22:31.000 And they mean that you might as well be replacing the word cunt for dude.
02:22:36.000 Because it's all about intent.
02:22:38.000 To them, it's basically saying, hey, he's a good dude.
02:22:40.000 He's a good dude.
02:22:41.000 And they're saying, he's a good kind.
02:22:43.000 There you go.
02:22:44.000 It's not bad.
02:22:48.000 I've got to have a set of these.
02:22:49.000 Not steal those.
02:22:50.000 This is Plasticell.
02:22:52.000 They're a company that they make these one-off little dolls.
02:22:57.000 You touched it, you've got to pour it.
02:23:00.000 These are hand-painted.
02:23:02.000 No kidding.
02:23:02.000 Yeah, this guy's a beast, man.
02:23:05.000 Plasticel on Instagram.
02:23:06.000 He makes all this stuff.
02:23:08.000 That's pretty rad.
02:23:09.000 No, he's wicked.
02:23:11.000 He made one for my dog.
02:23:13.000 He did John Wick and his dog, too.
02:23:15.000 Oh, he did John Wick and his dog.
02:23:16.000 That's from John Wick.
02:23:18.000 Dose.
02:23:19.000 Not John Rick Uno.
02:23:20.000 Don't get him twisted.
02:23:21.000 Here we go.
02:23:26.000 Now you have to couch surf tonight.
02:23:27.000 Maybe it was from John Wick 1. No, it was.
02:23:30.000 I'm wrong.
02:23:31.000 It was from John Wick 1 that he had the pit bull.
02:23:33.000 Yeah, it was.
02:23:34.000 Yeah.
02:23:35.000 Yeah, John Wick 2, they killed the beagle, and then he had the pit bull.
02:23:38.000 Yeah.
02:23:39.000 And they started going and killing Spree.
02:23:41.000 Doesn't he have a 3 out now?
02:23:42.000 Is there another one?
02:23:43.000 They're working on it?
02:23:44.000 Yeah.
02:23:44.000 It's coming out soon?
02:23:45.000 Yeah, he's a cool cat.
02:23:46.000 I ran into him at Deus Ex Machina down in Santa Monica, Venice area, and he was on one of his bikes.
02:23:53.000 Super cool, rad dude.
02:23:55.000 Just, hey, what's up, man?
02:23:57.000 Keanu Reeves must be one of the nicest, coolest people on the planet, because no one has a bad word to say about that guy.
02:24:03.000 Never.
02:24:03.000 Ever.
02:24:04.000 He might be what we should all aspire to be.
02:24:07.000 We should all aspire to be Keanu Reeves.
02:24:09.000 Or he might have some really crazy secrets.
02:24:11.000 No!
02:24:11.000 I don't know.
02:24:12.000 I bet he's the nicest.
02:24:13.000 It seems like everybody runs into him.
02:24:15.000 I'm sure there's some people that ran into you where they caught you the wrong way and it all went sideways for a little bit.
02:24:21.000 Nah, not really.
02:24:22.000 I mean...
02:24:27.000 Fucking Keanu Reeves!
02:24:29.000 You got it going on.
02:24:30.000 But the point what I was going to get to is one of the things that those movies did was they elevated the profile of those muscle cars.
02:24:39.000 Because people saw that movie and they went, this guy...
02:24:42.000 There's something about him.
02:24:43.000 I know he's murdering people.
02:24:44.000 I know he's the best at murdering people.
02:24:45.000 I know he killed three guys in a bar with a pencil.
02:24:48.000 I know that.
02:24:48.000 But look how fucking cool he looks.
02:24:51.000 He's got the dopest suits.
02:24:53.000 He's killing people.
02:24:54.000 He's not killing people in an Under Armour rash guard, okay?
02:24:57.000 He's killing people in the dopest suits.
02:24:59.000 He's stabbing people in the neck.
02:25:00.000 And he's driving a 70 Chevelle SS. But the trick is, unlike your aforementioned and loved Eleanor, it wasn't plasticized.
02:25:09.000 It was a real freaking muscle car.
02:25:10.000 It didn't have shit hanging all over it and extra side pipes.
02:25:13.000 You're right.
02:25:13.000 You're right.
02:25:14.000 But you're also wrong.
02:25:15.000 Because Eleanor, look at that.
02:25:17.000 God damn it.
02:25:19.000 If I'm going to kill somebody, I'm doing it just like that.
02:25:22.000 God!
02:25:23.000 Come on.
02:25:23.000 He's got Kragers on it.
02:25:26.000 A Chevelle SS from 1970 with Kragers.
02:25:29.000 It's torque press.
02:25:30.000 American torque press.
02:25:31.000 Are they?
02:25:32.000 Yeah.
02:25:32.000 Look how good he looks.
02:25:33.000 That Kragers style.
02:25:37.000 That's a classic white wall tire.
02:25:40.000 I mean, come on, man.
02:25:41.000 Or white letter tire.
02:25:43.000 Raised white letters.
02:25:44.000 Come on, that's classic.
02:25:45.000 You know you can get your own now?
02:25:47.000 You can get your name on it?
02:25:48.000 You can do anything.
02:25:49.000 There's a thing that sells like these stickers.
02:25:53.000 Gas monkey tires.
02:25:53.000 I should, but you can actually order stickers now that are the rubber letters that fuse themselves into the rubber on your tire, so you end up with a white letter like that, and you can put anything on there.
02:26:04.000 Wow.
02:26:05.000 Like Joe Rogan or, you know, CuntScreen.com.
02:26:13.000 For sure someone's going to send you and me photos of their car, a 1970 Chevelle, rolling around with cuntscreener.com.
02:26:21.000 Oh no, the company that does it's going to send us sets for our cars.
02:26:25.000 I don't think...
02:26:27.000 I don't think they'll let you in the golf course with that shit after the burrito incident.
02:26:30.000 I guarantee you they'll make it on small little golf cart tires, too.
02:26:33.000 I need a set of tiring for a 10-inch wheel.
02:26:37.000 Yeah, I need a smaller font, please.
02:26:40.000 I'm trying to fix this electric golf cart.
02:26:42.000 That's hilarious.
02:26:43.000 Oh, I've got a golf cart I drive in my neighborhood that's insane.
02:26:45.000 It's a Polaris, like, four-seater with the little truck bed.
02:26:50.000 And I drive it all around my neighborhood because I've got a nice little neighborhood.
02:26:54.000 I can get to the grocery store.
02:26:55.000 I get to get something to eat.
02:26:55.000 I get to go to the bar or whatever.
02:26:58.000 So I race total hell with this thing.
02:27:00.000 I drive through people's yards.
02:27:01.000 I'm a great neighbor because I'm really fun, and if I do absolutely fuck something up, I will definitely pay for it.
02:27:06.000 But at the same time, they're like, okay, does it have to have 32,000 speakers on it and a 50-inch television screen?
02:27:18.000 White wall tires don't exist.
02:27:20.000 What happened to white wall tires?
02:27:22.000 But they only exist on classic cars.
02:27:25.000 Oh yeah, you're not going to see them on anything new.
02:27:26.000 What happened?
02:27:27.000 The lettered tires are starting to get more popular with brand new ones, but the whitewall?
02:27:31.000 No.
02:27:31.000 Remember the four or five inch whitewall?
02:27:33.000 Alright, I'm going to talk to you about a polarizing issue.
02:27:36.000 Yeah.
02:27:37.000 Ready?
02:27:38.000 I'm ready.
02:27:38.000 Raw welt Porsches.
02:27:41.000 I have no idea what you're talking about.
02:27:43.000 You don't know what I'm talking about?
02:27:44.000 No.
02:27:44.000 Those wide body, weird, Japanese style...
02:27:48.000 Body kits they put on old Porsches.
02:27:50.000 Was it like Liberty Walk shit?
02:27:52.000 Giant, wide-ass bodies.
02:27:55.000 R-A... You got it?
02:27:57.000 I don't know anything about this.
02:27:58.000 Here it is.
02:27:58.000 R-A-U-H-W-E-L-T. How the fuck do you not know about this?
02:28:03.000 Because I can't afford collaboration.
02:28:05.000 But no, these are old cars.
02:28:07.000 These are not the most expensive cars in the world.
02:28:09.000 Well, that's an old accordion bumper that's been smoothed out.
02:28:11.000 So it's like 78, 79. But you see the bolt-on bumpers, or excuse me, the bolt-on fender flares?
02:28:17.000 I like that.
02:28:18.000 The rear and the front, yeah.
02:28:19.000 Well, there's a gentleman out of Japan.
02:28:22.000 and he does all of these raw welt cars by hand and uh go to him um what is the the guy's name so i could uh give the guy his props but that dude right there with the i love rw t-shirt on he's uh his name is akira nakai and he all raw welt cars he does himself so he'll fly out from japan he sawzalls your fenders off Puts these flares on the front and the rear.
02:28:50.000 There's some amazing videos of him.
02:28:52.000 Because he's a real character.
02:28:54.000 He's chain smoking cigarettes the entire time.
02:28:57.000 And he's like measuring this shit.
02:28:58.000 He does it all by hand.
02:29:00.000 He lays the caulking around the edge by hand.
02:29:03.000 The weather sealing.
02:29:04.000 That's the guy right there.
02:29:05.000 I'm going out on a limb then.
02:29:06.000 I'm going to invite him to come to Texas and do my wraith.
02:29:11.000 I wonder if he does anything other than Porsches.
02:29:13.000 Well, I've been considering doing a wide body on my Wraith just for the hell of it, and I would let him come do it.
02:29:19.000 If he would be interested in it, that would be an amazing episode.
02:29:22.000 But if you wanted to just do what he does and get a Porsche, that's kind of his style.
02:29:30.000 He takes these things and makes them fucking cartoonish wide.
02:29:34.000 Look how wide that motherfucker is.
02:29:36.000 That just cracks me up.
02:29:36.000 You're dealing with like 20-inch tires.
02:29:39.000 That's freaking super cool.
02:29:40.000 They're outstanding.
02:29:42.000 My deal with Gas Monkey, you say, okay, well, I could actually tell you.
02:29:46.000 Yeah, we can do that.
02:29:47.000 But I'm like, this guy's known for it.
02:29:49.000 Bring his ass in.
02:29:50.000 Let's have some fun.
02:29:51.000 Let's watch his talent.
02:29:52.000 I got a situation I'll set up for you.
02:29:54.000 Look at that green Porsche right there.
02:29:55.000 That's what I need.
02:29:56.000 Rutledge from Top Gear.
02:29:58.000 You know Rutledge Wood?
02:29:59.000 I know the name.
02:30:00.000 He's a nice guy.
02:30:01.000 Super nice guy.
02:30:02.000 He's been on this podcast before.
02:30:03.000 He's doing one of those cars, and he's doing it with an LS swap.
02:30:08.000 So instead of using an air-cooled engine...
02:30:10.000 We already did it.
02:30:11.000 Oh, you already did that?
02:30:12.000 Yeah.
02:30:13.000 Damn.
02:30:14.000 It's a good move.
02:30:15.000 Why is it so prohibitive?
02:30:17.000 Oh, I don't know.
02:30:18.000 It's Porsche people, you know.
02:30:20.000 They're crazy.
02:30:20.000 The Seinfelds of the world, and God bless you, Seinfeld.
02:30:22.000 They're like, oh, it's not original.
02:30:24.000 Purists.
02:30:25.000 We did a 996, like a 2000, 2001 convertible, and did the LS swap.
02:30:32.000 And we finished that in late 2016, and I had a brand new 2017 911 Turbo S in the Signal Green.
02:30:42.000 And if I didn't mess with the buttons, if I didn't turn off all the stuff, I could not get away from that car until about 140 miles an hour.
02:30:49.000 Whoa.
02:30:49.000 Couldn't get away.
02:30:51.000 Look at this thing.
02:30:52.000 That's ours.
02:30:53.000 That's ours.
02:30:53.000 This is it.
02:30:54.000 Look at that.
02:30:54.000 Good lord.
02:30:56.000 Oh, we went freaking...
02:30:57.000 Oh, you changed the headlights, too.
02:30:59.000 So 996, you went with a 997 headlight?
02:31:01.000 Yep.
02:31:01.000 That car was so freaking rad.
02:31:05.000 Yeah, and it is.
02:31:06.000 Oh, and you went with 911 GT3, the front, where the bumper is, the open vents.
02:31:11.000 Oh my goodness.
02:31:12.000 Car was freaking great.
02:31:13.000 How dare you.
02:31:13.000 Really teared it up.
02:31:15.000 That's beautiful.
02:31:15.000 Where is it?
02:31:16.000 A friend of mine owns it.
02:31:18.000 I told him, I said, you can buy the car, but if you ever sell it, you got to ask me first.
02:31:22.000 Dude, fuck him.
02:31:23.000 I know, right?
02:31:24.000 Fuck him for owning that.
02:31:25.000 Fuck Tony.
02:31:26.000 Tony, you suck.
02:31:27.000 You have that car.
02:31:28.000 The thing about those cars, it's so weird that you're not allowed to do that.
02:31:33.000 Look at that.
02:31:35.000 That was three years ago, man.
02:31:37.000 Oh my goodness.
02:31:40.000 Again, put that right next to the Mustang Mach 1. It's not better.
02:31:46.000 It's just different.
02:31:47.000 They're both fucking incredible.
02:31:49.000 They both have the same reaction.
02:31:51.000 That car, which is a 2000...
02:31:53.000 One?
02:31:54.000 That was like a zero or a one, yeah.
02:31:56.000 That car, the way it's modified, the way it's put together, it is so fucking pretty.
02:32:01.000 If you had that next in that 69 Mach 1, it's just different tastes.
02:32:06.000 It's a different feel, but that's a fucking amazing car.
02:32:09.000 And maybe in the future, you might look at that one even better when you consider it a performance.
02:32:14.000 That's my other car, a tuner we built down there, the 280Z, the green one.
02:32:19.000 Ooh.
02:32:20.000 Yeah.
02:32:22.000 I always wanted a 240. That's a 280 with 13,000 original miles, and we went nuts with that and did the whole Lexus swap, F22Js, whatever.
02:32:32.000 White leather tires.
02:32:33.000 Oh, yeah.
02:32:34.000 Bringing them back.
02:32:35.000 That car was cool.
02:32:36.000 Nitto tires.
02:32:37.000 I sold it to a customer, no bullshit, for a pretty amazing amount of money for a 280Z. And it was being shipped, and the truck burned to the fucking ground.
02:32:47.000 Oh!
02:32:49.000 Yeah.
02:32:50.000 What happened?
02:32:50.000 Who knows?
02:32:51.000 But the whole trailer burned to the ground.
02:32:54.000 Well, you know how there's been these fires out here?
02:32:56.000 No, this is in the Northeast, but still.
02:32:59.000 Do you know about California?
02:33:00.000 California's had some pretty crazy fires.
02:33:01.000 There's a guy up the street that had a really nice 3 Series BMW. Burnt to the ground.
02:33:07.000 It's still sitting there.
02:33:08.000 I took pictures of it.
02:33:09.000 I put it on my Instagram.
02:33:10.000 You need to call me.
02:33:12.000 Here's what I think we do, because there have been some really amazing cars that have burned with the fires that happened this past year.
02:33:19.000 The panels are still good, though.
02:33:21.000 Don't worry about the panels.
02:33:22.000 We take them.
02:33:23.000 I need to make you this for in here, this conference table.
02:33:26.000 You take it and...
02:33:27.000 Yeah, that's from my neighborhood.
02:33:29.000 Okay, so you take the real special car that burned down, you blow everything out, you clear coat it so it doesn't stink and what have you.
02:33:34.000 We put a glass top on it and you have a conference table called burning up the competition.
02:33:41.000 Ooh.
02:33:42.000 You know, or whatever.
02:33:43.000 But I think some of those really expensive burned out cars would make really cool conference tables.
02:33:48.000 Yeah, good art projects.
02:33:50.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:33:51.000 In your background.
02:33:51.000 You got lucky, bitch.
02:33:52.000 Just having a big plaque.
02:33:54.000 You could have been me.
02:33:55.000 You got lucky, bitch.
02:33:56.000 You weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time.
02:33:59.000 Yeah.
02:33:59.000 I'm a big fan of those E46 M3s, those 2000-ish...
02:34:05.000 I do not know my...
02:34:07.000 You don't know, German?
02:34:08.000 God damn it, Richard.
02:34:10.000 How dare you?
02:34:11.000 Dude, I'm an American hot rodder.
02:34:13.000 Custom silver E46 M3. See, he was saying so many numbers, I was worried he were baiting me to see if I'd like...
02:34:21.000 Yeah, those are cool.
02:34:22.000 There was no E46 M3. No, E46 is like, it's a super well-balanced, 50-50 balanced car from like 2002, 2003. And many people think it's like the gold standard for M3s.
02:34:36.000 Because M3s, there's something that happened to M3s.
02:34:39.000 And right now, I like the fact that an M3 became an M4. Like, stay right there.
02:34:44.000 Don't move.
02:34:46.000 M3, that's a fucking good looking car because an M4 is a totally different thing than an M3. It's beautiful and it's amazing.
02:34:53.000 Like an M4 from BMW is an amazing driver.
02:34:58.000 Like if you want to drive that car every day, you'll be super pleased.
02:35:01.000 The performance is unprecedented in the M world and most of the car world.
02:35:06.000 The only things that are faster are like fucking GTRs and Corvettes that are ZR1s or 06s or shit, but...
02:35:13.000 It's different, because an M3 was really light.
02:35:17.000 It was really light and uncomplicated.
02:35:19.000 There wasn't any traction control, or if there was, it was minimal.
02:35:24.000 Mostly it was just anti-lock brakes.
02:35:25.000 And it was, you know, a 3,000-pound car.
02:35:28.000 And it had 333 horsepower and is perfectly balanced for the right amount of thrust, the right amount of grip with the tires, because they weren't the widest tires, but they were wide enough.
02:35:39.000 They had a little bit of fender flare.
02:35:40.000 They made them wider than the standard 3 Series.
02:35:42.000 And it's just a perfect, understated-looking car.
02:35:46.000 When you look at that E46 M3, you look at that car, you're like, that's a fucking good neutral zone.
02:35:52.000 Like, they nailed it.
02:35:53.000 Cool.
02:35:54.000 If anybody has one of those, I'm buying...
02:35:57.000 You can reach me at CassMucky.com.
02:36:00.000 I sell it?
02:36:00.000 Did I sell it?
02:36:02.000 I sold it, right?
02:36:03.000 Well, what we do is we buy like 10 or 20 of them.
02:36:05.000 Then we sell one at auction for like 15 times what they normally bring and then we sell the rest of them.
02:36:09.000 But look at that car.
02:36:10.000 That's pretty damn good.
02:36:12.000 It's a good car.
02:36:13.000 You want...
02:36:13.000 There's a balance to that car.
02:36:15.000 It's not like a Ferrari 488 or some shit like that where it's so outrageous everybody gets light.
02:36:22.000 Now, see, you got me there because I don't like rear engines.
02:36:26.000 Oh, you don't?
02:36:27.000 Not in the Ferrari type stuff, because to me, if you've got a front-engine B12, you're a connoisseur.
02:36:33.000 Look at that.
02:36:34.000 If you've got one behind you, then you just got a contract of some sort, and you might not have that car next week.
02:36:39.000 Look at that car.
02:36:41.000 Alright, do you own one?
02:36:42.000 No.
02:36:43.000 I think I need to.
02:36:44.000 Alright, cool.
02:36:45.000 I need an E46 M3 in my life.
02:36:47.000 Look at that.
02:36:49.000 It's perfectly understated and yet flashy.
02:36:53.000 It's like a balance of things.
02:36:54.000 So what's the value on that right now?
02:36:56.000 Because I'm serious, I don't watch that kind of car.
02:36:58.000 They're not crazy.
02:37:00.000 They're not crazy.
02:37:00.000 Because I think people overlook them.
02:37:02.000 They overlook them for more extravagant, like E92 M3s, which is like the V8 ears.
02:37:08.000 So if you could buy one, what would you pay for one right now?
02:37:10.000 I don't I mean, just a nice California one, no rust.
02:37:13.000 I have brain damage, so I have critical thinking skills.
02:37:16.000 See, I don't know.
02:37:17.000 Off.
02:37:17.000 I'd have to call my buddy Dennis on something like that, because I just don't know those kind of cars.
02:37:21.000 There's something about that car that's very appealing, because it's a balance issue.
02:37:25.000 It's not, like, there's something about the Mach 1 that's like, holy shit, you know, like, America!
02:37:30.000 Fuck yeah!
02:37:31.000 Yeah!
02:37:33.000 So here's what we do.
02:37:34.000 We put it out to the people listening.
02:37:37.000 Bring us a nice one-owner, low-mile M3 that hasn't been ragged out.
02:37:42.000 E56? E46. E46 M3 that hasn't been ragged out.
02:37:46.000 And I'll bid against you and we'll see who gets it.
02:37:49.000 I had two M3s in a row, at least two M3s in a row from BMW for the V8 years, because it was so good.
02:37:56.000 It was my daily driver.
02:37:58.000 It was so good.
02:37:59.000 After I would get out of it, I was like, this car has everything I like.
02:38:02.000 It's understated, and yet it's wicked.
02:38:04.000 It's got V8 power, but yet it's not preposterous, like the wheels don't break loose every time you hit the gas.
02:38:11.000 It has a double-clutch transmission, so it's good in traffic, and it also has a whale, because it's got this high-revving V8, and it's so many things that I like.
02:38:19.000 I got two of them in a row.
02:38:21.000 So they're gonna send us one on the old interwebs.
02:38:24.000 They're not gonna send us shit.
02:38:26.000 BMW? I got a pretty good reach.
02:38:28.000 I think I can get out there.
02:38:29.000 You can get ahold of BMW? No, I can get ahold of the people that own one in their garage right now that are probably at their golf club.
02:38:36.000 So we'll just bid against each other to see who gets it.
02:38:40.000 Because I don't know what they're worth.
02:38:41.000 Well, how about I let you get it and I'll just buy a different one.
02:38:43.000 I'm not stupid, bro.
02:38:44.000 How about we do this?
02:38:48.000 Let's buy two of them and race.
02:38:50.000 I'm not good at racing.
02:38:52.000 Straight line?
02:38:53.000 Round line?
02:38:53.000 Curves?
02:38:54.000 See, I don't care who gets there first.
02:38:55.000 I just like driving.
02:38:57.000 Yeah.
02:38:57.000 No bullshit.
02:38:58.000 No bullshit.
02:38:58.000 I heard that from your wife.
02:39:00.000 You son of a bitch!
02:39:09.000 But for real, I like watching racing, but I really don't care if you get there first.
02:39:13.000 All I care is about going sideways and correcting and hitting the turn at the proper apex and stomping on the gas and knowing when to break and knowing when to dig in.
02:39:24.000 If you get ahead of me, I don't give a fuck.
02:39:26.000 I really don't.
02:39:27.000 I'm just trying to have fun because I'm not a professional racer.
02:39:30.000 If that's all I wanted to do, if I was Danica Patrick, then that's what I'd be into.
02:39:36.000 But I'm not.
02:39:37.000 I really just like driving cars.
02:39:39.000 Yeah, me too.
02:39:40.000 I'm not a racer at all.
02:39:41.000 If you and I drove, I would let you win because I like you.
02:39:44.000 Oh, come on.
02:39:48.000 Yeah, and I'd let you win because I like you.
02:39:50.000 So we're just going to be sitting at the starting line drinking beer.
02:39:55.000 Look at that.
02:39:56.000 Look at that.
02:39:57.000 Look at that.
02:39:57.000 2001 E46 M3. Whoa.
02:40:00.000 Oh, and it's convertible.
02:40:02.000 I don't want a convertible.
02:40:03.000 Yeah, I think that if you're going to drive a car, then you don't want a convertible.
02:40:07.000 I have one convertible.
02:40:08.000 Find us a hard time.
02:40:09.000 I have a 1965 convertible.
02:40:11.000 We'll buy it.
02:40:12.000 Hey, let's find one on there and I'll buy it right now.
02:40:14.000 We'll call the guy.
02:40:16.000 I know a guy who's selling one of those.
02:40:18.000 Here you go.
02:40:20.000 What, do you got one?
02:40:21.000 8500?
02:40:22.000 Look at that.
02:40:24.000 E46 Coupe.
02:40:25.000 Six speed.
02:40:26.000 Low miles.
02:40:27.000 13,900.
02:40:28.000 You can't even buy a 69 Mach 1 for anywhere near that.
02:40:31.000 Not even near that.
02:40:32.000 That's a good car, too.
02:40:33.000 I would love that car.
02:40:34.000 Got some stereo.
02:40:35.000 He keeps it covered.
02:40:36.000 I'm a fan.
02:40:38.000 I'm a fan.
02:40:38.000 I'm a fan.
02:40:40.000 I just think that there's some years that people are sleeping on.
02:40:43.000 How far is Palos Verdes?
02:40:45.000 Super close.
02:40:46.000 Okay, if he could be here in the next 20 minutes before we get it done, or however long.
02:40:49.000 Not that close.
02:40:50.000 It's basically at Long Beach.
02:40:51.000 It's like an hour and a half.
02:40:52.000 Fucking hell, Long Beach from here is like four hours.
02:40:55.000 At 3 p.m., it's four hours.
02:40:58.000 Yeah.
02:40:59.000 What sad is that?
02:40:59.000 What do they got in Long Beach?
02:41:00.000 Nothing.
02:41:01.000 Just last, Snoop Dogg.
02:41:02.000 The Queen Elizabeth whatever, or the Queen Mary.
02:41:05.000 The Queen Mary, yeah.
02:41:07.000 There's a laugh factory down there in Long Beach.
02:41:08.000 There's a lot of things in Long Beach.
02:41:10.000 See, I've always wanted to try comedy.
02:41:12.000 Really?
02:41:13.000 I just...
02:41:15.000 You want to try it tonight?
02:41:16.000 No.
02:41:17.000 Okay.
02:41:17.000 I'm not exactly prepared.
02:41:19.000 I can make it happen.
02:41:20.000 I just don't know how.
02:41:21.000 I mean, I know that it's a very rigid process, and you have to really refine.
02:41:27.000 And I've looked at it, I've studied it, and I'm like, I think I could probably try that one day.
02:41:31.000 You're a funny dude.
02:41:32.000 I think you could do it.
02:41:33.000 100%.
02:41:33.000 No bullshit.
02:41:34.000 You 100% could be a comedian.
02:41:36.000 I need to go to comedian school.
02:41:38.000 It doesn't exist.
02:41:39.000 Oh, really?
02:41:40.000 Yeah.
02:41:40.000 This is what you've got to do.
02:41:41.000 You've got to make friends with professional comedians who'll be honest with you.
02:41:45.000 One of the beautiful things about comedy is that it's very much a brothership and a sisterhood.
02:41:52.000 For sure.
02:41:52.000 I've seen it.
02:41:52.000 Yeah.
02:41:53.000 There's a brotherhood and a sisterhood that exist with comedies.
02:41:56.000 There's no institutions.
02:41:58.000 Even though it's like one of the favorite things of people, people love to laugh.
02:42:03.000 It's one of the rare things that gives you a very specific reaction.
02:42:06.000 Like, if you go to see a movie and it's like a rock movie, like Jumanji or something, it's fun, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's exciting, but there's a bunch of shit going on.
02:42:15.000 You go to see stand-up, you go to see Kevin Hart do stand-up, you're going there because Kevin Hart is a drug dealer, okay?
02:42:22.000 That drug is laughter.
02:42:23.000 Yeah.
02:42:24.000 He's here to hit you with some fucking high-level, gigantic arena laughter, and you gotta walk out of there going, holy shit, that was fun.
02:42:32.000 Yeah.
02:42:32.000 Woo!
02:42:33.000 Like he gave you some drugs.
02:42:34.000 Oh, no.
02:42:35.000 I think I might try one day.
02:42:37.000 You can do it.
02:42:37.000 Maybe I'll give it a shot.
02:42:38.000 I get an open mic.
02:42:39.000 Go out there and go, hey, I'm Richard from cuntscreener.com.
02:42:45.000 You can do it.
02:42:48.000 There's a lot of places.
02:42:49.000 Addison Improv, good spot.
02:42:52.000 Yeah, Addison Improv's great.
02:42:53.000 It's a great spot.
02:42:53.000 Not only is that great, right next door is the Kobe Steakhouse.
02:42:58.000 Yes.
02:42:58.000 And you can get all the chop-chop.
02:43:00.000 And if you get hammered, you can go to that piano bar.
02:43:02.000 Is that piano bar still there?
02:43:03.000 Piano bar's still there, but right next to Kobe is the Memphis.
02:43:08.000 It's a lounge, Memphis Lounge, and that's always a good time.
02:43:12.000 I've met a few of my wives there.
02:43:16.000 I've worked there many times.
02:43:18.000 That's a fun place to work.
02:43:19.000 I used to love to do that circuit.
02:43:21.000 What I would do is Cap City in Austin, and I would do the improv.
02:43:25.000 Well, there is an improv in Addison, but there's another improv too, right, that I haven't done.
02:43:32.000 Is that in Fort Worth?
02:43:32.000 I think so.
02:43:34.000 I think there's one like 40 minutes away or some shit.
02:43:36.000 Yeah, it's like Fort Worth or Bedford or something.
02:43:38.000 And then there was a laugh stop in Houston.
02:43:40.000 That was the run.
02:43:41.000 Yeah.
02:43:42.000 Well, see, if you come back to Dallas, you need to do Gas Monkey Live.
02:43:46.000 I hold about 2,000-something people.
02:43:49.000 What is it?
02:43:49.000 You have a concert place?
02:43:51.000 Yeah, I've had Motley Crue there.
02:43:53.000 Dude, I graduated high school in 87. Somebody told me two things.
02:43:56.000 One, you're going to build a car that Hot Wheels is going to make.
02:43:59.000 And two, you're going to have Motley Crue at your bar.
02:44:01.000 I'm like, no way.
02:44:02.000 That's incredible!
02:44:03.000 Yeah!
02:44:04.000 So is this the place that you were building on your show?
02:44:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:44:07.000 Do you have a 2000 seat place there?
02:44:10.000 Yeah, I think we're 22...
02:44:11.000 Look at the fucking size of that place!
02:44:13.000 Holy shit!
02:44:14.000 What's really bitching about this is the stage is solid concrete.
02:44:20.000 It's not raised.
02:44:21.000 So the reverb and the sound that we get out of there, even the guys from Crew, when they played, it was a deal with Dodge and me and them and Baugh.
02:44:30.000 They were supposed to come in and play like 41 minutes or something, and they played for like an hour and a half, and we're like, we hadn't played anything like this in decades, and the sound is fucking insane.
02:44:39.000 Wow.
02:44:39.000 Yeah.
02:44:40.000 That is so cool.
02:44:41.000 Dude, you're like an uber businessman.
02:44:43.000 You just dip your toes in everything.
02:44:45.000 I call myself an entrepreneur, because I've always put my hands in the shit.
02:44:49.000 Yeah.
02:44:54.000 So yeah, right across the street.
02:44:56.000 I mean, you got a restaurant, bar, you're making cars, doing television.
02:45:00.000 Live music venues.
02:45:00.000 That's the live music venues, yeah.
02:45:02.000 We're doing energy drink, Gas Monkey Energy.
02:45:05.000 Tequila.
02:45:06.000 Killing it.
02:45:06.000 We're in every 7-Eleven in the U.S. What?
02:45:09.000 With Gas Monkey Energy.
02:45:11.000 It's a better energy drink.
02:45:12.000 It's powered with all kinds of B vitamins and our sugar.
02:45:17.000 We use real honey.
02:45:18.000 It's a better deal all the way around.
02:45:20.000 Wow, you get it from slave bees.
02:45:22.000 Yeah, well, I didn't know there was any other kind.
02:45:25.000 Crack the whip.
02:45:26.000 Get in the box, B! I had a bit about that, about how you're a vegan.
02:45:29.000 One of the most crazy things about being a vegan is you can't eat honey.
02:45:34.000 Did you know that?
02:45:35.000 Honey's probably the oldest substance.
02:45:38.000 For nutrition in the world.
02:45:40.000 It's one of them.
02:45:41.000 It's definitely in the top million.
02:45:43.000 But these bees are not like your slaves.
02:45:48.000 You can't just force them to make honey.
02:45:51.000 Yeah, you can.
02:45:52.000 You stick them in the box.
02:45:53.000 They don't care.
02:45:54.000 They don't even know what's going on.
02:45:57.000 Do you think there's any honey bee trafficking going on?
02:45:59.000 Yes, for sure.
02:46:00.000 And it's awful.
02:46:01.000 It needs to stop, and it's mostly by white people.
02:46:04.000 I was leaving L.A. the other day, and this lady had like 24 eggs, and they were scanning them.
02:46:11.000 Well, you never know.
02:46:12.000 Who carries eggs?
02:46:12.000 They make fake eggs.
02:46:14.000 They do, and you could put drugs in that fake egg.
02:46:17.000 It's not bullshit.
02:46:18.000 It really is.
02:46:20.000 Look, if you're a drug dealer and you're making millions of dollars off cocaine, an egg of coke, imagine how fucking valuable an egg filled with coke would be.
02:46:29.000 Yeah.
02:46:29.000 Like a rock of coke that big?
02:46:31.000 Take a guess, Jamie.
02:46:33.000 How about like an ostrich egg filled with coke?
02:46:36.000 I'm sure you can Google that.
02:46:37.000 Ostrich egg full of coke.
02:46:39.000 It's a million dollars.
02:46:39.000 Yeah.
02:46:40.000 I don't know.
02:46:41.000 A good goose egg?
02:46:42.000 I haven't done anything like that since I was a really, really small child.
02:46:46.000 Ostrich egg filled with coke.
02:46:48.000 Google that.
02:46:49.000 Don't be scared.
02:46:50.000 It probably comes up.
02:46:52.000 That's the problem with Google.
02:46:54.000 You're sitting there thinking with your buddy or shooting the shit, and you're like, oh, I just thought of something really cool, and you Google it, and you're like, ah, fucked up.
02:46:59.000 It's probably someone getting arrested for having it up their ass.
02:47:02.000 Did you see that CIA spy kit where they had to stick it up their ass?
02:47:07.000 Fugitive ostrich farm fraudster Martin Evans extradited...
02:47:11.000 Told you!
02:47:13.000 It's there!
02:47:15.000 Does that guy have an ostrich egg up his ass?
02:47:17.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:47:18.000 Johannesburg!
02:47:19.000 He was doing drug dealing with ostriches or something.
02:47:22.000 Oh!
02:47:23.000 How did he get the drugs in the ostrich?
02:47:26.000 Through his...
02:47:29.000 It would be beak, not nostrils.
02:47:31.000 Well, they have nostrils.
02:47:32.000 They're weird, man.
02:47:33.000 Well, no, I knew a guy...
02:47:34.000 You know, I've done a lot of the world rallies and...
02:47:37.000 The gumball 3000s and the bull runs and all this.
02:47:40.000 So one guy appeared on the scene for a few years and it was kind of weird.
02:47:43.000 He was like there but he wasn't there and he was kind of not really competing but he had all these expensive cars.
02:47:50.000 Turns out that that's all he'd been doing for four or five years was shipping these cars from town to town on regular shipping trucks full of trucks.
02:48:01.000 Who's gonna search a Lamborghini Murcielago?
02:48:04.000 Right.
02:48:04.000 You would just assume he's there for the gumball rally.
02:48:07.000 Yeah!
02:48:07.000 Meanwhile, he's a dope dealer.
02:48:09.000 Exactly.
02:48:10.000 Now that guy, I think he's in the jail now.
02:48:13.000 One of the things about cars, right, is that cars, they, they, uh, Men's baser instincts respond to cars.
02:48:21.000 Something about a Lamborghini.
02:48:24.000 There's something about those cars.
02:48:27.000 You want to slightly escape from society's constraints.
02:48:32.000 Oh yeah, but I'm not a fan with those cars.
02:48:36.000 I do it with the old cars.
02:48:37.000 Yeah.
02:48:38.000 I like the old shit.
02:48:39.000 I mean, I have some big stuff.
02:48:40.000 Don't get me wrong.
02:48:40.000 I'm not a new fan of the Murcielagos either.
02:48:42.000 It's just something about them.
02:48:42.000 You can't see out of them.
02:48:43.000 Well, they're so weird.
02:48:44.000 It's so wide and big and crazy.
02:48:47.000 You can't see.
02:48:48.000 You can't get in and out.
02:48:49.000 I mean, it's so I'm rich too.
02:48:53.000 Yeah.
02:48:53.000 Every now and then on Sunset, in front of the Comedy Store, you see these guys...
02:48:56.000 Horrible.
02:49:00.000 Flying by the Comedy Store, and the cars are like five fucking miles wide.
02:49:04.000 Each car, they're super wide.
02:49:07.000 Yeah, and you always know the asshole that doesn't know what he's doing because he's pushing in the clutch and...
02:49:11.000 Yeah, but there's no clutch.
02:49:12.000 There's no clutch.
02:49:13.000 Well, not anymore.
02:49:14.000 He's putting it in neutral and doing it.
02:49:16.000 It literally doesn't exist anymore.
02:49:17.000 These guys that drive around and they're like, you know, look at me.
02:49:20.000 And I'm like, dude, just drive this freaking car.
02:49:22.000 You don't even get the satisfaction of watching them stall out anymore, though.
02:49:26.000 Like someone who doesn't know how to do it.
02:49:30.000 This is true.
02:49:31.000 I stalled out in my Bronco the other day, man.
02:49:33.000 And I was like, this is for everybody around me that was looking at this car that got jealous.
02:49:37.000 That's for you.
02:49:37.000 Feel better about yourself.
02:49:39.000 I fucking stalled out.
02:49:40.000 I'm a loser.
02:49:40.000 I'm a loser.
02:49:42.000 Ah, fuck.
02:49:46.000 Everybody had to wait an extra three seconds.
02:49:48.000 And they're all like, you fucking loser.
02:49:52.000 Nah.
02:49:52.000 That's a pretty badass bronco.
02:49:54.000 It's a badass bronco.
02:49:55.000 But you ever been to La Cienega Boulevard right when it hit sunset?
02:49:58.000 Uh-huh.
02:49:59.000 That's a steep-ass hill, bro.
02:50:00.000 Yeah, you gotta come around.
02:50:01.000 A lot of dudes would manual stall out on that motherfucker.
02:50:05.000 Yeah, we started the Gumball 3000 there one time.
02:50:08.000 Oh, really?
02:50:08.000 We started on that hill.
02:50:09.000 You had to clear that light just to go.
02:50:11.000 Yeah.
02:50:12.000 That's a good move.
02:50:13.000 Dude, they screwed up all the time.
02:50:14.000 That's a good move.
02:50:15.000 Yeah.
02:50:16.000 They should have never mowed down the House of Blues, though.
02:50:19.000 Well, they mowed it down.
02:50:20.000 What the hell?
02:50:20.000 Here's the thing.
02:50:21.000 I agree with you 100%, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:50:24.000 I'm not scared.
02:50:27.000 Round number, what is this?
02:50:28.000 Six?
02:50:29.000 I don't know.
02:50:30.000 The thing about the House of Blues that was badass, though, when it went away.
02:50:33.000 Salute, my friend.
02:50:34.000 Yes, sir.
02:50:35.000 My new friend.
02:50:36.000 Salute.
02:50:36.000 You're going to teach me comedy.
02:50:40.000 100% help you out.
02:50:42.000 When it was down, when they tore it down, from the comedy store, you could see across and you see all the beautiful lights.
02:50:48.000 The lights in the Hollywood Hills, I had a buddy of mine who bought a house off of Doheny, which is way above the hills.
02:50:56.000 You'd go to his backyard, he would look out at the lights, he'd be like, This doesn't even seem real.
02:51:01.000 It's like a Blade Runner.
02:51:02.000 Like, most people see the lights when you're down in them.
02:51:06.000 But when you're above Hollywood and you're looking down, it's one of the most spectacular views in all of history.
02:51:13.000 It's way better than any New York City view.
02:51:16.000 Because you have a view on top.
02:51:18.000 Look at that.
02:51:18.000 That's what you see.
02:51:19.000 Yep.
02:51:19.000 And I'm telling you, man, this is dog shit compared to my friend Larry's house.
02:51:23.000 You'd look out there, you'd look at that, and you'd go, holy shit, that's incredible.
02:51:27.000 It was mesmerizing.
02:51:29.000 The image was stunning.
02:51:31.000 That's pretty rad.
02:51:32.000 I know a couple people that have houses up there.
02:51:34.000 I know Dane Cook's got a crazy house up there.
02:51:36.000 Like, a lot of guys have houses up there that look down.
02:51:39.000 I've always wanted to meet him.
02:51:40.000 He's a rad dude.
02:51:41.000 Yeah, he's at the comedy store all the time.
02:51:44.000 What was that show he did?
02:51:46.000 My Best Friend's Girl or whatever?
02:51:48.000 I think it was a movie.
02:51:49.000 Yeah, a movie.
02:51:50.000 That is probably one of the better movies out there.
02:51:53.000 It's pretty fucking hilarious.
02:51:54.000 What's your all-time favorite movie?
02:51:56.000 If there was one movie...
02:51:59.000 Smokey the Bandit.
02:52:00.000 Goddamn.
02:52:01.000 That's a good call.
02:52:02.000 Every time.
02:52:04.000 That's a good call.
02:52:05.000 And if I had to get in depth and think about it, I might go with Stroker Ace, where the giant smoke tower fell and he goes right under it.
02:52:12.000 Because these guys were doing their own stunts.
02:52:14.000 That shit was real.
02:52:15.000 That wasn't CGI. They were doing it.
02:52:17.000 What was that one movie with the girl?
02:52:20.000 Her name was Domino.
02:52:23.000 He was a detective.
02:52:24.000 Was it called Domino?
02:52:27.000 I don't remember.
02:52:28.000 Was that what it's called?
02:52:31.000 Was it called Domino?
02:52:34.000 During Cannonball Run when they drove the car into the pool.
02:52:37.000 Like the NASCAR looking thing.
02:52:39.000 They did that because they were fucking drunk.
02:52:41.000 They were loaded.
02:52:42.000 And they were partying and the cameras just happened to be rolling.
02:52:45.000 That wasn't planned.
02:52:46.000 It wasn't part of the script.
02:52:47.000 They did it because they thought it was funny.
02:52:50.000 What is it called?
02:52:50.000 Sharky's Machine.
02:52:51.000 That's right.
02:52:52.000 Sharky's Machine.
02:52:54.000 Goddamn.
02:52:55.000 What year is that?
02:52:55.000 81. I was 14 years old.
02:52:57.000 I remember watching this movie on TV. I was like, Goddamn, I wish I was Burt Reynolds.
02:53:03.000 And the woman who was like his girlfriend.
02:53:05.000 Oh my God, she was so hot.
02:53:07.000 Look at her.
02:53:09.000 Leg warmer days.
02:53:11.000 Genetics.
02:53:12.000 Yeah, they had leg warmers back then.
02:53:14.000 No one had an ass.
02:53:15.000 They didn't even figure out asses.
02:53:18.000 When did they figure out asses?
02:53:19.000 Sir Mix-a-Lot, ladies and gentlemen.
02:53:21.000 White people were in a daze.
02:53:23.000 We didn't even know what an ass was.
02:53:24.000 Sir Mix-a-Lot came along and changed the game.
02:53:27.000 He came along with Baby Got Back.
02:53:29.000 And we were like, wait, wait, wait.
02:53:31.000 Oh my god, that is better.
02:53:32.000 It was like everybody just got smelling salts under their nose.
02:53:35.000 Yeah, and then the Kardashians fucked it up for all of us.
02:53:38.000 Everybody woke up.
02:53:39.000 They did, but they didn't.
02:53:40.000 They'd exploited a hole in the system.
02:53:43.000 You know, like Jennifer Lopez had strong ass game way before them, but it was a legit Latina ass game.
02:53:50.000 Correct.
02:53:50.000 From years of dancing and fucking running upstairs and shit.
02:53:54.000 Right?
02:53:55.000 Correct.
02:53:56.000 Whatever the fuck she did.
02:53:57.000 Well, also she's like four foot two.
02:53:59.000 Is she?
02:54:00.000 Yeah, she's pretty short.
02:54:01.000 She's probably five foot one or something.
02:54:03.000 She's pretty short.
02:54:04.000 Pack it all in a small area.
02:54:06.000 You gotta get it in.
02:54:09.000 But those movies, man, like Burt Reynolds movies, for whatever, Deliverance doesn't get the respect it deserves.
02:54:14.000 That is one of the all-time greatest drama movies of all time.
02:54:19.000 I actually have a picture when I was filming with Burt at his house somewhere in my phone.
02:54:24.000 I'll never find it.
02:54:25.000 But...
02:54:26.000 I was in his memorabilia room, which also doubled as his weight room, and there was stuff everywhere.
02:54:32.000 And I was texting away.
02:54:33.000 I was dealing with a problem.
02:54:34.000 And somebody snapped a picture of it.
02:54:36.000 And the deliverance canoe is laying up against the wall.
02:54:42.000 And there's all these different memorabilia things in there.
02:54:44.000 And when I say memorabilia like that, it was like a hoarding room.
02:54:48.000 Everything was in there.
02:54:50.000 And it was unbelievable.
02:54:51.000 It's like the most surreal thing because I'm hammering away and there's like everything behind you.
02:54:57.000 Look at that, dude.
02:54:58.000 Yeah, here's the other thing about that movie.
02:54:59.000 By the way, Burt Reynolds, University of Florida, played football, was a fucking stud.
02:55:05.000 Yeah.
02:55:06.000 That movie introduced me to the world of compound bows.
02:55:09.000 I didn't even know what a compound bow was until I saw that movie.
02:55:12.000 I don't know what a compound bow is now.
02:55:13.000 For bow hunting, bro.
02:55:15.000 I don't pro hunt, man.
02:55:16.000 I know.
02:55:18.000 Burt Reynolds.
02:55:19.000 Bro Reynolds.
02:55:21.000 I was thinking of Bo.
02:55:22.000 Bo Jackson is a big bowhunter.
02:55:25.000 Bo Jackson, I was going to say, is also a big bowhunter.
02:55:28.000 But something about that movie, who was the guy who was getting fucked when they were like, squeal like a pig?
02:55:33.000 What was his name?
02:55:34.000 The actor?
02:55:35.000 Oh, this guy.
02:55:37.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
02:55:38.000 Ned Beatty.
02:55:39.000 Thank you.
02:55:40.000 Ned Beatty.
02:55:40.000 Goddamn, is that guy a good actor.
02:55:42.000 Holy shit, you were so scared for him.
02:55:45.000 Well, What's-His-Face did it later on in the movie.
02:55:49.000 Who was the other actor that did it in another movie later on?
02:55:53.000 Was it Pulp Fiction or...
02:55:55.000 Bruce Willis?
02:55:56.000 No, he got caught and he's down there and he's like, we're never going to talk about this again, right?
02:56:02.000 What was that?
02:56:02.000 Fing Rhames in Pulp Fiction.
02:56:04.000 Because the gimp came out.
02:56:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:56:06.000 That was what it was.
02:56:08.000 That's right.
02:56:08.000 That's right.
02:56:09.000 We're never going to talk about this.
02:56:12.000 This didn't happen.
02:56:13.000 Do you think Quentin Tarantino would come on?
02:56:16.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:56:17.000 When he's got that new movie coming out, definitely.
02:56:18.000 When's his new movie coming out?
02:56:20.000 I think they're either just wrapping, filming it right now, or it's like they're getting close.
02:56:24.000 Maybe they just finished.
02:56:24.000 On a scale of 1 to 10, how high do you think he's willing to get?
02:56:28.000 Blast off.
02:56:29.000 Why not?
02:56:30.000 Unless he doesn't.
02:56:31.000 I don't know that he doesn't.
02:56:32.000 He does.
02:56:34.000 What else is he going to do?
02:56:37.000 Go through life pretending?
02:56:38.000 He's probably just coming to talk about movies.
02:56:40.000 He loves movies.
02:56:41.000 Good.
02:56:41.000 Me too.
02:56:42.000 I love his movies.
02:56:46.000 It's 310. Should we wrap this bitch up?
02:56:48.000 I don't know, man.
02:56:49.000 What do you got?
02:56:50.000 I'm trying to see if any of my social crap is flowing in here.
02:56:54.000 Don't look at that stuff.
02:56:55.000 Well, you know, you might give us something good to talk about.
02:56:58.000 You entered into a new dimension of social media within the last three hours.
02:57:01.000 I suggest you leave your phone alone much more often.
02:57:04.000 I was just checking to see if they gave us anything good to talk about.
02:57:07.000 They definitely didn't.
02:57:08.000 It's three hours and ten minutes and I'm squeezing my bladder tight.
02:57:14.000 Well, how do we end it?
02:57:15.000 We just end it.
02:57:17.000 Yeah.
02:57:19.000 Number seven?
02:57:20.000 Definitely.
02:57:21.000 Number seven.
02:57:23.000 Jihad to everyone.
02:57:24.000 Thank you to you all.
02:57:26.000 Thanks for everybody for listening to this podcast.
02:57:29.000 Gas Monkey Apparel and Clothing.
02:57:33.000 GasMonkeyGarage.com.
02:57:35.000 GasMonkeyGarage.com.
02:57:36.000 The television show.
02:57:37.000 Tell them when.
02:57:38.000 Fast and Loud on Monday nights coming in June.
02:57:40.000 Right now we got Garage Rehab on Tuesday nights.
02:57:43.000 Misfit Garage will be coming back out.
02:57:45.000 Demolition Theater.
02:57:46.000 I have a lot of shows on TV. DVR, motherfuckers.
02:57:49.000 It's your friend.
02:57:50.000 Use that DVR. Can they get it on Netflix or anywhere else?
02:57:53.000 They can get it anywhere, man.
02:57:54.000 Everywhere?
02:57:55.000 It's like the number one automotive motorcycle thing going on.
02:57:58.000 Number one, bitches!
02:58:00.000 Ah, I love it.
02:58:01.000 Hey, I had a great fucking time.
02:58:03.000 Thank you, brother.
02:58:04.000 That was really, really fun.
02:58:05.000 Yes, sir.
02:58:06.000 For sure.
02:58:06.000 All right.
02:58:07.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:58:07.000 Bye.