The Joe Rogan Experience - February 04, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1237 - Sebastian Maniscalco


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 56 minutes

Words per Minute

173.7996

Word Count

20,294

Sentence Count

2,007

Misogynist Sentences

31

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend, comedian, writer, and all-around great guy, Matt Friesen. We talk about what it's like to be a stand-up comedian, how he got into comedy, and how he stays on top of his game. We also talk about how he keeps track of so much information in his head, and some of the things he does to keep it all straight in his brain. I think you're going to love this one, and I hope you do too! Enjoy the episode, and remember to tweet me if you like what you hear. Timestamps: 3:00 - How Matt keeps it real 4:30 - How he keeps his mind sharp 6:20 - What do you do to keep your brain sharp? 7:00 - How do you keep track of things in your head 8:15 - What are some of your favorite things to do with your brain 9:40 - How often do you remember things you remember 10:15 - Can you remember something you see or hear 11:30 12:40 13:20 What's your favorite thing to do in life? 15:00 | How do I keep my brain sharp ? 16:30 | What do I do to remember things? 17:00 // 16:35 | What are you do with my brain? 18:10 19:40 | Can I remember things 21: What's my brain do I can I can do 22: What s my favorite thing I do in my head? 25:00 / 22: Can I do with a pen and paper? 27:30 Do you have a pen & pen? 26:30 // 27:50 28:30 +28:30 / 29:00 +33:30 Can you do more? 35:00/35:00 Do you remember a certain thing I m going to do more than one thing in a conversation 29:10:30/36: What is your brain do you like to remember? 32:40 / 35:50 / 36:40 +35:40/35 +36:00 & 37:00 My brain can do a better job with my memory 36:00 Is there a better way to remember something?


Transcript

00:00:01.000 There we go.
00:00:03.000 Four, three, two, one.
00:00:07.000 And we're live, you fucking handsome bastard.
00:00:09.000 Look at you.
00:00:10.000 Oh yeah, stunning.
00:00:14.000 What's going on, man?
00:00:15.000 What's going on?
00:00:17.000 Well, I've done this once before, and I've watched you throughout the years.
00:00:24.000 And when I come in here, I get a little nervous.
00:00:32.000 Why?
00:00:34.000 You're a guy who knows a lot about everything, and I don't know a lot of...
00:00:42.000 I don't know a lot about everything.
00:00:43.000 I know enough to make it seem like I know a lot about everything.
00:00:46.000 Whatever you're doing, you know more than I do, right?
00:00:51.000 Like we were on your treadmill out there.
00:00:53.000 Right.
00:00:54.000 And you go, it's 13%, what did you say?
00:00:59.000 13% more difficult than regular running.
00:01:01.000 Okay.
00:01:02.000 I forgot the fact, what you just said, from the time we walked in...
00:01:09.000 I lost it, so I don't have the retention that I wish I had.
00:01:15.000 I gotta get you some alpha brain.
00:01:17.000 I need something.
00:01:18.000 Do we have any here?
00:01:19.000 Is that what I'm missing in my diet?
00:01:22.000 Alpha brain?
00:01:22.000 I don't know.
00:01:24.000 What's interesting, though, is that people will come up to me with shit that happened just a few years ago, and I'm like, I don't remember that at all.
00:01:31.000 I think you have a certain amount of room in your brain, and my brain is always deleting stuff that it doesn't think it needs anymore, and then shoving in new things.
00:01:40.000 Sometimes someone will tell me about something.
00:01:42.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:01:43.000 And they're like, you don't remember?
00:01:45.000 There was the guy with no arms who drove us around.
00:01:47.000 I went, what?
00:01:48.000 What?
00:01:49.000 And then I have to go, oh yeah!
00:01:50.000 It's like I find the folder in my head and like, oh there it is!
00:01:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:01:55.000 And then we went to the pool hall!
00:01:57.000 And then I'll remember.
00:01:59.000 Gotcha.
00:01:59.000 But if, yeah, it's just...
00:02:03.000 For whatever reason, I only keep things that I'm interested in.
00:02:09.000 Gotcha.
00:02:10.000 I just wish I could retain a lot of the things I either see or hear to then recall it in a conversation.
00:02:17.000 You can, but you've got to write things down and you've got to want to recall things.
00:02:21.000 Yeah, that's a problem.
00:02:23.000 I don't do a lot of writing as far as like a notepad or anything to just take notes.
00:02:27.000 When you write your act, do you write it in your head or do you write it on paper or computer?
00:02:32.000 It's audio.
00:02:32.000 Just audio.
00:02:33.000 I go to the comedy store, I record it and I listen to it on the way home and then I go, oh, maybe I'll do this next time, maybe I'll do that.
00:02:41.000 I'll take that out, this out.
00:02:43.000 So there's no writing.
00:02:45.000 My act is more recalling stories than sitting in a room going, oh, I think this is funny.
00:02:51.000 Right, right.
00:02:52.000 So that's kind of how I work.
00:02:53.000 But, yeah, the reason I say that to start off is just like I see you go down a lot of different paths on the podcast, and I often go, man, if I was sitting in that chair, could I add to the conversation?
00:03:06.000 And a lot of times it's, no.
00:03:09.000 No.
00:03:11.000 I can't.
00:03:12.000 Just because, for whatever the reason, I just feel like I need to be a little bit more well-read.
00:03:20.000 How often do you read?
00:03:22.000 Like, I read the Goggins book.
00:03:24.000 Yeah.
00:03:24.000 Great fucking book.
00:03:25.000 Yeah.
00:03:26.000 Sad life that dude had, huh?
00:03:28.000 Sad life, but then on the flip side, inspiring to a guy like myself, where I'm running, say I'm working out, and I thought of this guy, I go, you know what, let's put another mile into this.
00:03:42.000 So, yeah, I mean, I'm just now starting to get into a little bit more books than I have in the past, because in the past, to be honest with you, I haven't really read much.
00:03:54.000 I try to read one new thing a week, and the way I try to do it is I use a lot of audiobooks, but I also read books.
00:04:04.000 I go back and forth in between them, between reading and audiobooks.
00:04:07.000 But I find for whatever reason I retain more with audiobooks than I do with reading.
00:04:12.000 Maybe it's my ADD or something like that, because when I'm reading I kind of have to back up sometimes.
00:04:17.000 I'll go through a whole paragraph where I'm thinking about some other shit while I'm reading.
00:04:21.000 Yeah.
00:04:22.000 And then I gotta go, okay, asshole, back up, reread that, go over it again, you know?
00:04:27.000 That's what I find.
00:04:28.000 My mind wanders, like you're saying.
00:04:31.000 The audiobook definitely is a better option.
00:04:33.000 Yeah, I think all stand-up comedians have scattered brains, at least in some way.
00:04:38.000 All of us are a little fucked up.
00:04:41.000 I think we have to be.
00:04:42.000 I think the mind works in a weird way in a comedian's head.
00:04:46.000 I think it has to be a little bit fragmented and thinking a lot of different things at once in order to operate.
00:04:53.000 I mean, you're doing it on stage, I think.
00:04:55.000 You're doing your comedy, and I'm self-evaluating, going, is this working right now?
00:05:01.000 Should I go off into another bit?
00:05:03.000 Should I talk about my family?
00:05:05.000 I see they're liking family stuff.
00:05:07.000 So I think...
00:05:08.000 That's what we're doing when we're performing, and then sometimes I think that bleeds to everyday life.
00:05:14.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:05:15.000 Yeah, when you're doing a bit, are you thinking about what you're, are you like, do you have a bit on deck?
00:05:21.000 Like while you're in the middle of the bit, do you like go from there, I'm going to talk about, you know, the gym or the, you know, the this or the that?
00:05:28.000 It's funny, and I don't know if you go through this.
00:05:31.000 Do you ever go through, well, first of all, when you're doing comedy, do you have a beginning, middle, and end, and do you know where you're going throughout that whole set?
00:05:41.000 Or do you, in the moment, go, you know what, I'm going to do the bit about that, that, that.
00:05:46.000 Or is it set?
00:05:47.000 It's both.
00:05:48.000 It depends when.
00:05:50.000 Like, right now, I don't have a lot of material.
00:05:53.000 Because my Netflix special came out in October, so November, December, January.
00:05:59.000 I have basically three months worth of new shit, which is about 40 minutes of all told material.
00:06:05.000 And then I have 20 other minutes that are...
00:06:10.000 They're in the baking stage.
00:06:12.000 I'm not ready to take them out of the oven.
00:06:14.000 I fuck around with them.
00:06:15.000 I'll shove them in the middle a bit sometimes.
00:06:18.000 But they're not 100% legit.
00:06:21.000 They need to be fleshed out.
00:06:23.000 But one of those became one of my best bits now.
00:06:26.000 It's weird how that works.
00:06:28.000 Sometimes you'll just find this one part of it that makes it work and boom!
00:06:32.000 All of a sudden the bit's turbocharged.
00:06:33.000 Mm-hmm.
00:06:34.000 So, because of that, I usually decide that day usually what I'm going to open with, and then I leave the middle part up to my imagination, and then I decide what I'm going to close with.
00:06:49.000 But when I'm ready to do a Netflix special, I basically have it all mapped out.
00:06:53.000 I basically have a starting point and I have an end point.
00:07:17.000 Yeah.
00:07:19.000 And I always film four shows.
00:07:20.000 So I'm like, if it's a real show, I'll fuck around.
00:07:24.000 I've been filming before and I fuck around.
00:07:26.000 I go down a dark road and there's no one there.
00:07:28.000 I'm like, alright, turn around.
00:07:30.000 Thank God for editing.
00:07:33.000 Yeah, I think that's the way to do it, though, to be kind of in the moment and go with how you're feeling when you're filming something, just because that's the way you would be anyway, right?
00:07:43.000 But sometimes, I've learned in the past, when I'm filming something, I feel like, man, I'd like to get everything that I want out on this special show.
00:07:52.000 And I don't want to forget anything.
00:07:54.000 Because there'll be nights where I'll be performing and I forgot a bit.
00:07:59.000 I'll be searching in my head for the bit and I'm like, I know there's another something that goes along this.
00:08:06.000 But then I just jump off it and go into another routine.
00:08:11.000 So for me, I don't know, I like to keep it different every night.
00:08:14.000 Just try and...
00:08:17.000 It's weird now that a Netflix special, one came out, and I don't really subscribe to...
00:08:26.000 If I have a Netflix special out and you come to a live show, you're going to see some of those bits that I did in the Netflix special.
00:08:36.000 I don't retire the act.
00:08:39.000 I know some guys go, okay, it's out there.
00:08:41.000 I'm not doing this on my live show.
00:08:44.000 Myself, I still like to do some of that material because I enjoy doing it.
00:08:50.000 And I also have some new stuff.
00:08:54.000 And I don't know how long that lasts.
00:08:58.000 I know some people were like, oh, I saw that on Netflix.
00:09:03.000 Why am I going to pay to see it?
00:09:05.000 Live, if I could see it at home, but there's something about going out, I believe, to a live show and seeing a live performance.
00:09:13.000 There's different nuances that you might see in a bit or an add-on.
00:09:17.000 Sometimes I add on to the joke.
00:09:20.000 My jokes are sometimes never finished, so I keep adding on.
00:09:25.000 That's the way I've kind of worked at my entire career.
00:09:29.000 Yeah, Gaffigan does it that way.
00:09:32.000 Brian Regan does it that way, where guys will call out bits.
00:09:36.000 Like, if you go to see Gaffigan and he doesn't do Hot Pockets, you're going to get fucking mad.
00:09:41.000 There's a lot of people like that.
00:09:43.000 I retire my material, but I have brought stuff out before if people asked.
00:09:48.000 Like, someone asked me to bring up explaining Kim Kardashian's to the aliens the other night, and I was amazed that I could remember it, but I remembered it.
00:09:56.000 But for the most part, I retire shit because I feel like, in my mind, if I don't retire things, I'm not going to work on new things as much and limit myself.
00:10:07.000 And then I always feel like my newest bits are better than my older bits because even though I've been doing stand-up for 30 years, I still think I get better at it.
00:10:16.000 I think it's a constant state of self-evaluation and self-analysis and going over the material and then realize, you know, you have enough good sets and bad sets and great sets.
00:10:29.000 You have enough that you kind of recognize the characteristics of each one and where they go wrong, and then you get better at having less bad sets and even less good sets and more great sets.
00:10:39.000 And I think that, for me, One big part of that is constantly writing.
00:10:46.000 I write right.
00:10:47.000 I sit down and I write right.
00:10:49.000 And I write one hour every night after shows.
00:10:53.000 That's one big one.
00:10:54.000 I write during the day.
00:10:55.000 But the big one for me seems to be at night when I come home from the store and I'm jazzed up.
00:11:01.000 And also it's great too because everyone's asleep.
00:11:04.000 It's just me and the dog.
00:11:05.000 And I just fucking sit at that desk and I'll just work until my eyes start falling.
00:11:10.000 Blinking and I start getting really tired and some of my best shit I've ever come up with is that way Wow after shows because I'm all I'm juiced up and then I also have a process of listening to the show in the car because you know that's one of the coolest things about Bluetooth audio that you get your phone you record it on your phone and then in the car home you can listen and And you can go,
00:11:33.000 ah, I fucked that up.
00:11:34.000 Or, oh, I should have done it this way.
00:11:36.000 Or maybe if I do that.
00:11:37.000 Or you have an idea.
00:11:38.000 Like, I'll pause it.
00:11:39.000 I'll go, oh, I got another idea.
00:11:40.000 And then I'll make a new voice note.
00:11:42.000 And then I'll go home and I'll listen to it again.
00:11:45.000 I'll listen to my set again and I'll pause it and then start working on stuff.
00:11:49.000 And that's how I've been able to expand all these bits pretty quickly.
00:11:53.000 That's interesting.
00:11:54.000 I find my best bits come out of just living my life.
00:11:59.000 And, you know, I have a daughter.
00:12:01.000 We went to the zoo.
00:12:03.000 And the nuances at the zoo that I picked up on.
00:12:09.000 I'll call my mother and I'll tell her a story.
00:12:12.000 And that's kind of my barometer of whether or not this thing is going to work on stage.
00:12:15.000 And then I'll go to the comedy store and kind of flush it out there.
00:12:19.000 But yeah, I mean, I've just never been the guy who...
00:12:26.000 Well, you don't have to.
00:12:28.000 Obviously, it's working for you.
00:12:29.000 There's a lot of guys who don't do it that way.
00:12:30.000 Bill Burr doesn't do it that way.
00:12:32.000 He's one of the best ever.
00:12:33.000 A lot of guys who just don't write.
00:12:35.000 For me, I feel like it's all about how much time and energy I put on things.
00:12:40.000 And if I put more time and energy just working on my act because I'm writing, then it's going to be better.
00:12:46.000 That's just how I look at it.
00:12:48.000 Yeah, everybody's got their own process.
00:12:51.000 I'm fascinated to hear guys like yourself.
00:12:55.000 Seinfeld's another guy that every word is planned out.
00:12:58.000 And you can hear it with him, too.
00:13:00.000 You really hear it.
00:13:01.000 His act is like a scalpel.
00:13:04.000 He's slicing the perfect slice.
00:13:07.000 He knows exactly how to say it.
00:13:10.000 He's got perfect timing.
00:13:12.000 His use of words.
00:13:14.000 Whether or not you...
00:13:17.000 Any comic can appreciate that.
00:13:20.000 Any comic can appreciate the way he does that.
00:13:22.000 There's a lot of guys who are like that, who just have that.
00:13:25.000 Did you ever watch Jenny at all?
00:13:26.000 I have, and his timing, I think, was...
00:13:30.000 I think timing in comedy is something, a bit of a lost art.
00:13:36.000 I don't think a lot of comedians are really taking to timing.
00:13:41.000 Like they have in the past.
00:13:44.000 And I don't know if they're scared of the silence.
00:13:47.000 Because a lot of timing is silent.
00:13:50.000 And a lot of guys and women tend to not relish in those moments of silence where sometimes it's comedy gold.
00:13:59.000 A lot of people run through the material.
00:14:01.000 And for me, as an audience member, I like someone who kind of...
00:14:06.000 Gives you, as an audience member, a little beat or maybe some time to kind of marinate in the joke a little bit, opposed to kind of blowing through the material.
00:14:16.000 Don't you feel that, like, when you're in a large audience, that's even more critical?
00:14:20.000 Because you have, like, there's thousands of people, and it seems like a big pause, like, in between punchlines, or you give a person a chance, give this whole group of people a chance to think about how ridiculous what you just said was.
00:14:34.000 It enhances it.
00:14:35.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:14:36.000 I mean, especially, like you said, in a large audience, which is even more fearful for a comedian to let the joke breathe.
00:14:44.000 Yeah.
00:14:44.000 Because God knows, you know, if you got a thousand people and then you got 20,000 people, I mean, you know, 19 more thousand people...
00:14:55.000 Could yell or scream or say something.
00:14:58.000 Anything can go wrong.
00:14:59.000 Yeah, but man, to stop and just let that joke breathe a little bit and then maybe have it percolate.
00:15:05.000 There's times where I'm on stage and I'll go...
00:15:11.000 Yeah.
00:15:27.000 Yeah, and you also realize that you're not rushing anything.
00:15:31.000 Yeah.
00:15:32.000 You got a hold of it.
00:15:33.000 Yeah, at least for myself, my act is more like a...
00:15:37.000 It needs to kind of sit.
00:15:41.000 I don't really do well on five-minute talk shows, doing a four-and-a-half-minute set on Fallon.
00:15:49.000 I need to go out there.
00:15:52.000 It takes me two minutes to...
00:16:12.000 We're good to go.
00:16:17.000 We're good to go.
00:16:35.000 The first time I did a stand-up set on TV, I said, I need the microphone.
00:16:42.000 I can't go out there.
00:16:43.000 I've been doing comedy for, what, 12 years it had been, and then I got like a Leno.
00:16:48.000 I go, I need...
00:16:49.000 A physical microphone.
00:16:51.000 Yeah, I'm used to this.
00:16:52.000 I'm not going to go out there all of a sudden now, and like you said, what am I going to do with my hands?
00:16:57.000 So every time I do a late-night set, I need a microphone.
00:17:00.000 Do you still do those?
00:17:03.000 No, not anymore.
00:17:04.000 I like to do...
00:17:06.000 It's like comedy on the couch, you know?
00:17:08.000 It's like you go on Fallon or what have you, and it's all premeditated.
00:17:12.000 Burr's the master at that.
00:17:13.000 Oh, he's so good.
00:17:14.000 He's the master.
00:17:15.000 He's the best at sitting down there and saying something fucked up, and they're just like, you know?
00:17:19.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:17:21.000 He's good.
00:17:22.000 He's just got a great way of handling the couch.
00:17:25.000 Yeah, he makes it sound like just two guys talking and then there's cameras filming it.
00:17:31.000 Sometimes it could look like, okay, you asked the question, I give the answer.
00:17:36.000 But for whatever reason, it's so natural for him.
00:17:38.000 It's like, this guy looks like he's talking at a diner.
00:17:41.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:17:43.000 No, he's mastered the art of not giving a fuck.
00:17:47.000 He's very comfortable.
00:17:49.000 But that's who he is all day.
00:17:52.000 He just ramps it up a couple extra clicks when he goes on stage.
00:17:57.000 When you're hanging out with him, that's Burr.
00:17:59.000 Yeah, it's not a far departure from what we're seeing.
00:18:02.000 He's got one thing down, too.
00:18:03.000 That guy does not fuck with social media.
00:18:05.000 He's not doing nothing.
00:18:06.000 Oh, he's not even on it.
00:18:08.000 I guess he posts stuff.
00:18:10.000 Well, you know, I follow him on Instagram and every once in a while I'll see something.
00:18:15.000 Yeah.
00:18:15.000 Which, you know, for me, I've kind of weaned off the social media a little bit.
00:18:22.000 I know a lot of guys live on it and they take you into their lives and here's, you know, like here, I follow Burt Kreischer.
00:18:29.000 I knew you were going to say Burt Kreischer.
00:18:30.000 Yeah.
00:18:32.000 I'm wondering if the people around Burt Kreischer are going to him.
00:18:37.000 All right, Burt, you want to lose the phone?
00:18:39.000 We're having dinner here.
00:18:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:42.000 Because, man, he really gives you a bird's eye view into not only his family life, but he's on a ski lift and he's got skis and this and that, which I appreciate.
00:18:54.000 It's just for me, I don't know, is there some...
00:18:58.000 A little sense of privacy every once in a while.
00:19:15.000 And, you know, he's doing really well, but he was gone for long stretches of time, away from his family, and he wasn't getting to do much stand-up.
00:19:23.000 And he and I had a conversation about it, and I said, Stu, you're too funny to be just working for a television show.
00:19:30.000 Anybody can do a television show, but not everybody can do stand-up the way you did stand-up.
00:19:35.000 And he, somewhere along the line, decided, alright, fuck this TV shit.
00:19:40.000 And I'm just going to concentrate on stand-up.
00:19:43.000 And a big part of that was social media.
00:19:45.000 So a big part of it for him was, you know, every year we have this Sober October crew.
00:19:51.000 It's Ari, Tom Segura, me, and Bert, and we do a one-month challenge.
00:19:56.000 Yeah.
00:19:57.000 Last year was a fitness challenge, and before that it was a hot yoga challenge, and before that they had to lose weight.
00:20:04.000 So we've only done it twice.
00:20:06.000 But it's a big thing, social media-wise.
00:20:09.000 A bunch of people hop on board with it, a bunch of people join in, and they take a month off boozing, too.
00:20:15.000 And for Bert, that's fucking hard.
00:20:18.000 That guy goes hard in the paint with the booze.
00:20:21.000 So for him, that...
00:20:23.000 The Sober October stuff and the weight loss stuff propelled his career.
00:20:27.000 I mean, everything started taking off.
00:20:28.000 The Netflix special started taking off.
00:20:30.000 Stand-up shows are sold out everywhere.
00:20:32.000 People know him.
00:20:33.000 They know he takes off his shirt when he goes on stage now.
00:20:35.000 It's a totally different thing.
00:20:36.000 So I get it with him because that's what brought him to the dance, social media.
00:20:41.000 Absolutely.
00:20:42.000 And that guy's figured it out.
00:20:43.000 I'm just using Burt as an example of a guy who's on social media a ton and has figured out a way to weave that into his kind of aura and what he does professionally.
00:20:57.000 But for me, I feel I get a little...
00:21:02.000 I feel like everything I do on social media has to be funny.
00:21:06.000 If I do a post, I feel like it has to be funny.
00:21:09.000 I feel a little bit intimidated to put something out that's just me doing X, Y, and Z. And that's where I feel I fail at social media, and I feel like I've kind of weaned off it.
00:21:22.000 And sometimes I look at my Instagram or my Twitter, it looks like a...
00:21:26.000 I'm going to be here.
00:21:28.000 I'm going to be here.
00:21:29.000 Here's my shows.
00:21:29.000 There's no real kind of substance to it at all.
00:21:33.000 Yeah, that bothers some people.
00:21:34.000 But the good thing is, I mean, I get what people go, all you do is promote your shows.
00:21:39.000 Yeah, but I'm promoting my shows.
00:21:40.000 You know, this is where I am.
00:21:41.000 If you like my shows, that's where I'm going to be.
00:21:43.000 I get it.
00:21:44.000 But...
00:21:47.000 We're good to go.
00:22:04.000 Which is weird because I do do other things, whether it's podcasting all the time or doing the UFC commentary.
00:22:11.000 If I watch some fights and I start posting about MMA, I'm not trying to be funny.
00:22:15.000 It's just what it is.
00:22:18.000 You're living in a lot of different worlds.
00:22:20.000 And I look at your Instagram, you're cooking meat, right?
00:22:25.000 But for me, I'm thinking, how the hell does he get the meat from top to bottom, like medium rare throughout?
00:22:34.000 For me, that's more of a learn...
00:22:36.000 I can teach you, Sebastian.
00:22:39.000 I can teach you.
00:22:40.000 You know what the key is?
00:22:42.000 Cooking it slowly.
00:22:43.000 That's the key.
00:22:44.000 So you got this grill.
00:22:47.000 It's a Traeger.
00:22:48.000 It's a pellet grill.
00:22:49.000 Pellet grill.
00:22:50.000 I'll get you one.
00:22:51.000 You want one?
00:22:51.000 No.
00:22:52.000 If it gets my meat the way it gets your meat, I would love one.
00:22:55.000 I'll have them send you one, 100%.
00:22:56.000 Perfect.
00:22:58.000 Do you know what one of those are?
00:23:00.000 Do you know how they work?
00:23:01.000 No.
00:23:01.000 It's fucking fantastic.
00:23:04.000 Say if someone wants to make a desk like this out of hardwood, like this oak, The sawdust, they take the sawdust from sawmills and they compress it and they make these little tiny pellets.
00:23:15.000 And so there's no chemicals, no nothing, it's just wood.
00:23:18.000 And then the way a pellet grill works, there's a bunch of really good companies that make them.
00:23:23.000 I use a Traeger, but I've used a Yoder, that's a great one too, and Green Mountain Grills, that's a great one.
00:23:29.000 They all work the same way.
00:23:30.000 They have a heating element and a worm drive.
00:23:32.000 So you have this big bucket of these pellets.
00:23:35.000 And then the worm drive feeds the pellets into this heating element.
00:23:39.000 And the heating element makes the pellets catch fire.
00:23:42.000 So once they catch fire, it's a matter of how much pellets and how much fan to keep the...
00:23:48.000 That's what it looks like up there.
00:23:51.000 See, look at this, Joe.
00:23:52.000 I'm looking at this, and I'm like, that looks like a lot of work.
00:23:57.000 First of all, you've got to get a side pellet catch-all.
00:24:02.000 But it's there.
00:24:02.000 It comes with the whole thing.
00:24:03.000 Yeah, but then you've got to go buy the pellets.
00:24:06.000 I'll have it delivered to you.
00:24:08.000 I'll have it delivered.
00:24:09.000 I'm trying to get more people to cook like this because it's just wood and fire.
00:24:12.000 It's the best.
00:24:13.000 There's no chemicals, there's no bullshit, no lighter fluid, no gas, no nothing.
00:24:18.000 So your entire meat process is on this grill.
00:24:22.000 Except the end.
00:24:23.000 At the end, this is a different grill than I have, because this one has a thing on the side.
00:24:27.000 If you see that thing on the right-hand side, that looks like a direct flame thing.
00:24:34.000 Looks like it's got gas as well, right?
00:24:36.000 The one that I have doesn't have that, but at the end, I sear it at the very end on a cast-iron frying pan.
00:24:42.000 So I cook it from between 225 to 275 degrees, which is pretty low.
00:24:47.000 And I'll cook it until it hits an internal temperature, depending upon what I'm cooking.
00:24:51.000 Somewhere around 120 to the maximum, like, 130-ish.
00:24:55.000 Then I take it out, and I have a cast-iron frying pan, as hot as a motherfucker, and I use either a beef tallow or grass-fed butter.
00:25:03.000 And then I sear the shit out of that with some garlic, and I throw some thyme in there, and fucking flip it over, and get that good sear, and then I let it sit for a minimum of 10 minutes.
00:25:15.000 And then you slice that motherfucker.
00:25:17.000 Nice.
00:25:20.000 Okay, so your meat is unbelievable.
00:25:23.000 I've seen it on the Instagram.
00:25:27.000 So I do something similar, but I do it in the oven.
00:25:29.000 I don't do it in the grill.
00:25:31.000 I do a slow cook in the oven, and then I take it out, I let it rest for, I think, 15 minutes, and then I do a sear jab.
00:25:36.000 But I'm always looking for better ways to...
00:25:39.000 To cook meat.
00:25:41.000 And if you're saying that this pellet thing, does it add any flavor?
00:25:47.000 Yes, that's what's good about it because it's smoky hardwood.
00:25:51.000 Gotcha.
00:25:51.000 So it's all smoke.
00:25:52.000 You lift the thing up, smoke's coming out of it and everything.
00:25:54.000 It's a nice aromatic smoke.
00:25:57.000 All right, that's what I need.
00:25:58.000 It's like cherry smoke or...
00:26:00.000 Oak or, you know, hickory or maple, all these different hardwoods.
00:26:04.000 You could choose a bunch of different kinds.
00:26:06.000 Oh, perfect.
00:26:06.000 Okay, so you're not getting that in the oven.
00:26:08.000 No, no, no, no.
00:26:10.000 It's different.
00:26:10.000 And there's also a setting on a Traeger called Super Smoke, where you hit it.
00:26:14.000 It can't be over 225, but that's what I like anyway.
00:26:17.000 And you put it on 225, and it just constantly fans hard and pushes all this smoke.
00:26:22.000 So it just gets this deep, rich, smoky flavor in the meat.
00:26:28.000 Bellissima.
00:26:28.000 Nice.
00:26:29.000 But I like, if you're not into that too, I like a regular Weber grill.
00:26:33.000 Like one of those little fucking Weber, you know, the little...
00:26:37.000 Hibachi.
00:26:38.000 Yeah, what are those things called that you get?
00:26:40.000 What would you call them?
00:26:41.000 Like a drum, looks like a half a drum.
00:26:43.000 Yeah.
00:26:43.000 Like a barreled fucking thing.
00:26:45.000 Grill, I don't know.
00:26:46.000 Yeah, but the way it looks like, it looks like a cup.
00:26:49.000 It's like a black...
00:26:50.000 Yeah, the black ones.
00:26:51.000 They're like steel.
00:26:53.000 Those, what I like, those with just lump charcoal.
00:26:56.000 That puts a nice flavor on it too.
00:26:58.000 The key is don't fuck around with chemicals.
00:27:01.000 When you start using lighter fluid and shit, that adds weird taste to your food.
00:27:07.000 It does.
00:27:08.000 Yeah, and even if you buy that lump charcoal, those charcoal briquettes, rather, the charcoal briquettes, there's something in them that makes them that shape.
00:27:17.000 They have to, and then they, you know, oh, they light fast.
00:27:20.000 Yeah, because there's fucking gasoline in them.
00:27:23.000 But lump charcoal, meaning they just take hardwood and then they burn that shit down to, you know, that clunky-looking lump charcoal.
00:27:32.000 Just get that stuff and then take some newspaper and roll the newspaper up in one of those.
00:27:37.000 You ever use one of those little chimneys?
00:27:41.000 Do you know what those things are?
00:27:42.000 No.
00:27:43.000 It's a barbecue chimney.
00:27:44.000 It's like you pour the charcoal in this tube, and at the bottom of the tube, you take pieces of paper and you crumple them up in balls, and then you light the balls on fire, and the fire rises up from the paper to the charcoal, and it lights the charcoal on fire, and then you dump the charcoal out into the grill.
00:28:01.000 And that puts a nice flavor on it, too.
00:28:03.000 But it's, again, the same kind of feeling.
00:28:06.000 It's like wood, just this wood flavor on the meat.
00:28:09.000 It's nice.
00:28:10.000 I'm sold.
00:28:11.000 Yeah.
00:28:12.000 Yeah, I'm a big fan of cooking.
00:28:15.000 I love it.
00:28:16.000 I went to this restaurant the other night, the APL restaurant.
00:28:19.000 Yeah, I saw that on your Instagram.
00:28:20.000 Good meat?
00:28:21.000 I ate a 380-day dry-aged steak.
00:28:26.000 This guy, I'm going to get him on here.
00:28:28.000 He's a chef.
00:28:29.000 His name's Adam Perry Lang.
00:28:31.000 He's the guy who runs the place.
00:28:32.000 And I've never even heard of someone doing something like that.
00:28:35.000 You hear dry-aged steak is like 30 days.
00:28:41.000 He's taken it to some weird, crazy place where he's got these...
00:28:46.000 These steaks in his gigantic walk-in freezer area where everything is dry-aging, they have certain microbes they put in the air, and then they have fans.
00:28:56.000 So it's a certain type of bacteria that they want that covers over the meat, a certain type of mold.
00:29:03.000 Oh, wow.
00:29:04.000 So it delivers this very strange taste.
00:29:06.000 It's not like any steak that I've ever had in my life.
00:29:08.000 It's very weird.
00:29:10.000 It's delicious.
00:29:11.000 That's what it looks like.
00:29:13.000 Oh, wow.
00:29:13.000 Yeah, that's 380-day dry-aged steak.
00:29:18.000 He says it smells like foie gras.
00:29:21.000 It does.
00:29:21.000 It smells very strange.
00:29:23.000 It's very different.
00:29:24.000 Yeah, and I've heard about this place.
00:29:27.000 Phenomenal.
00:29:27.000 And I haven't been there yet.
00:29:28.000 This is in Hollywood, right?
00:29:29.000 I'll take you.
00:29:30.000 We'll go together.
00:29:31.000 Come on.
00:29:32.000 After a show.
00:29:33.000 I'm ready to go, man.
00:29:34.000 It's on Vine in Hollywood.
00:29:37.000 It's phenomenal.
00:29:38.000 But it's not for everybody.
00:29:41.000 My wife is not into it.
00:29:43.000 She likes regular steak.
00:29:45.000 She's like, ah, yeah.
00:29:48.000 It's strong flavor.
00:29:49.000 All right.
00:29:50.000 It's a different flavor.
00:29:51.000 It doesn't taste like anything you've ever had before.
00:29:53.000 It doesn't taste like venison.
00:29:54.000 It doesn't taste like bison.
00:29:55.000 It doesn't taste like a rib eye that you get from Flemings or something like that.
00:29:59.000 It tastes very, very different.
00:30:00.000 Oh, I love foie gras.
00:30:01.000 If it tastes like that, then I'm in...
00:30:03.000 It sort of does, but not really.
00:30:04.000 It smells like foie gras.
00:30:06.000 It tastes like itself.
00:30:08.000 It doesn't taste like anything I've ever had.
00:30:10.000 But that's when you're fucking geeking out hard.
00:30:14.000 There's a show that I binge watch on YouTube.
00:30:16.000 It's called The Meat Show.
00:30:19.000 I think the YouTube channel is called Eater and then the show is called The Meat Show.
00:30:24.000 This guy just travels around going to all these different super high-end restaurants that serve steak and trying to see what their preparation is and what they do differently.
00:30:36.000 You could fucking lose your mind with that stuff.
00:30:38.000 Yeah, you could go down a deep dark hole with me.
00:30:40.000 But hey man, I'm willing to try anything.
00:30:43.000 I'm more like experimental as far as when it comes to food.
00:30:46.000 My wife not so much.
00:30:47.000 She's very picky.
00:30:49.000 Do you use recipes?
00:30:50.000 Do you use cookbooks?
00:30:52.000 I have used cookbooks in the past, but I do a majority of the cooking in my house.
00:30:58.000 I come from, you know, my mom used to cook a lot, and my father used to do a lot of fish.
00:31:05.000 So I don't do a lot of recipes.
00:31:07.000 It's more like, Dad, how do you make the mussel for the mussel sauce?
00:31:12.000 And then he'll, you know, take me through it.
00:31:14.000 So nothing's written down.
00:31:16.000 It's just like your act.
00:31:19.000 A lot of improvising, yeah.
00:31:22.000 What do you do?
00:31:23.000 What are you into?
00:31:24.000 You like linguine with clams?
00:31:25.000 What kind of stuff do you cook?
00:31:26.000 You know what?
00:31:28.000 I like a lot of pasta.
00:31:31.000 I like a nice bolognese sauce.
00:31:33.000 However, I'm trying to stay away from those types of meals because in the past I ballooned up to 205, 207, not giving a crap about My health or anything.
00:31:47.000 And recently, I've lost some weight due to the fact that I've been watching my diet.
00:31:54.000 Because you know, I mean, I don't know.
00:31:55.000 I mean, you're in shape, so you seem a lot more disciplined than a lot of comedians when it comes to...
00:32:01.000 To health.
00:32:02.000 But for myself, I have taken on a regimen of not drinking wine.
00:32:10.000 I used to have a little wine after the meal or during the meal.
00:32:14.000 So I've eliminated that.
00:32:15.000 And I've been doing some Pilates.
00:32:19.000 Pilates?
00:32:19.000 Yeah.
00:32:20.000 Nice.
00:32:20.000 Which has helped my...
00:32:23.000 My balance and my core.
00:32:26.000 Underrated exercise.
00:32:28.000 Very underrated.
00:32:29.000 I gotta tell you, Joe, this Pilates has really changed the way I look at physical fitness.
00:32:35.000 You know who's really into Pilates?
00:32:37.000 Sergei Kovalev.
00:32:38.000 Really?
00:32:39.000 Yeah, he just regained the WBC or WBC, I forget which light heavyweight championship on Saturday night.
00:32:47.000 He's the crusher.
00:32:47.000 He's this badass Russian motherfucker.
00:32:50.000 And he just, I mean at 35 I think he is, just regained his title.
00:32:56.000 And his routine is very unusual.
00:32:58.000 And one of the things that he does for his exercise is Pilates.
00:33:02.000 And, you know, people make fun of it, but the guy's got strength in all these weird places.
00:33:06.000 Yeah.
00:33:07.000 And full range of motion and flexibility and...
00:33:10.000 Well, that's what I have.
00:33:12.000 I'm 45, so my range of motion, my shoulders screwed up, my legs, my knee, and this has given me an exercise where I could not only improve my flexibility, but man, I mean, you walk out, I'm drenched.
00:33:26.000 Yeah.
00:33:27.000 And so, yeah, I'm getting back on the physical fitness thing, because I've been on the road so, so much that I kind of let that slip a little, but I want to get back.
00:33:38.000 Yeah, you know, some guys are real good about working out on the road.
00:33:41.000 Like Brian Callen goes, everywhere he goes, he'll go to a gym.
00:33:44.000 He's real good at that.
00:33:45.000 Like he'll go and go work out with kickboxers, work out with jujitsu guys.
00:33:50.000 Brian does a lot of boxing.
00:33:51.000 So he'll find like a local boxing gym and have a guy hold the pads for him, maybe do even a little light sparring.
00:33:57.000 He gets really into it on the road.
00:33:59.000 But I think that's the key is like to force yourself to not stay in your hotel and wait till the show goes.
00:34:04.000 You just got to force yourself to get out and go do something.
00:34:07.000 Yeah, I wish I was a self-motivated guy, but I need help.
00:34:12.000 So I've taken...
00:34:13.000 My buddy John Petrelli is a personal trainer, so he comes on the road with me and motivates me to get up and go.
00:34:22.000 We do swimming.
00:34:23.000 We do a lot of different things.
00:34:25.000 This guy's...
00:34:26.000 I like him to you because he's into mixed martial arts.
00:34:30.000 He's into hunting.
00:34:31.000 He's one of these guys that is a great motivator and really helped me get my life back together when it comes to physical fitness.
00:34:39.000 Because again, I was lifting weights.
00:34:43.000 Everything was falling apart.
00:34:45.000 And now with the swimming and Pilates, I feel like I have something to look forward to when it comes to training.
00:34:51.000 To working out.
00:34:52.000 Because to go to the gym for me wasn't fun anymore.
00:34:55.000 It's like, what am I going to do?
00:34:56.000 Biceps and chest.
00:34:58.000 It's over.
00:35:00.000 I ain't doing 225 ever again.
00:35:04.000 That was my workout.
00:35:06.000 Since I was like 18, I'd go in.
00:35:08.000 Nothing changed.
00:35:10.000 It was 225s.
00:35:11.000 And then let's do some curls and neglect the abs and go home.
00:35:18.000 Neglect the legs.
00:35:19.000 No legs.
00:35:21.000 Although I did have...
00:35:22.000 I played soccer growing up, so I did have those soccer legs.
00:35:27.000 I got like Earl Campbell thighs.
00:35:29.000 Yeah, soccer is one of the best exercises ever.
00:35:32.000 I mean, it's also a great way to blow your ACL out.
00:35:34.000 Totally.
00:35:35.000 Yeah, everybody's shifting left and right and all that.
00:35:38.000 There's a fucking picture.
00:35:39.000 You know Big Boy, the DJ? Yeah.
00:35:43.000 His fucking son, there's a video, he retweeted it.
00:35:46.000 His son is a football player, and there's a video of his son where someone's trying to tackle him, and he moves like a fucking ghost.
00:35:57.000 It's incredible.
00:35:59.000 It was one of those rare things where you see something and you're legitimately impressed.
00:36:04.000 Like, holy shit!
00:36:05.000 I watched it like five times in a row.
00:36:07.000 This kid's footwork is incredible.
00:36:08.000 Really?
00:36:09.000 Yeah, but...
00:36:12.000 Footwork.
00:36:12.000 Who's in better shape than soccer players?
00:36:14.000 They're constantly sprinting.
00:36:16.000 The whole game is like, and you have to maintain that stamina.
00:36:20.000 You're constantly sprinting.
00:36:21.000 Yeah, there's a lot of mileage you're putting on in a soccer game.
00:36:25.000 Although, you know what gives me, and you are probably going to laugh as well as your listeners, believe me.
00:36:33.000 Pickleball.
00:36:34.000 You ever play that?
00:36:35.000 Pickleball?
00:36:36.000 What is that?
00:36:37.000 Pickleball.
00:36:38.000 Pickleball?
00:36:38.000 It's like tennis and ping pong and you play it in a gymnasium.
00:36:44.000 So it's like a net and you got paddles and talk about moving side to side.
00:36:51.000 It's fun and you burn a ton of calories.
00:36:54.000 And you do it in a gym?
00:36:56.000 You do it in a gym.
00:36:57.000 Like a basketball court.
00:36:59.000 So it's like racquetball, but there's a net.
00:37:01.000 There's a net.
00:37:02.000 You're not bouncing it off the wall.
00:37:03.000 You're playing it like tennis?
00:37:05.000 Yeah, it's a court.
00:37:06.000 Small net.
00:37:07.000 And you have...
00:37:08.000 Is this what's on that, like in Venice, those little small courts?
00:37:12.000 Is this it?
00:37:13.000 A lot of old...
00:37:14.000 Is this it?
00:37:15.000 Look at these kids.
00:37:16.000 Hello, my name is Fred.
00:37:18.000 This is my wife, Wendy.
00:37:19.000 Listen, you're going to laugh, all right?
00:37:21.000 There's a lot of old people that play this, but I'm telling you...
00:37:26.000 This is embarrassing.
00:37:27.000 And so you each have four people?
00:37:30.000 Yeah, you could do doubles, but me and my buddy play just one-on-one.
00:37:34.000 And I'm telling you, it's not only fun, but you burn a lot of calories, and you don't even know you're doing it because I'm diving.
00:37:45.000 It's one of the exercises that we really enjoy.
00:37:50.000 So listen to what he's got you doing.
00:37:52.000 He's got you doing Pilates and pickleball.
00:37:56.000 What's next?
00:37:57.000 Ballet?
00:37:59.000 He's working his way.
00:38:00.000 You know what he's working towards.
00:38:02.000 I don't have to tell you.
00:38:04.000 I'm telling you, I know a lot of 68-year-old people play this, but if you're looking for a low-impact, fun activity...
00:38:14.000 It looks good!
00:38:16.000 No, it does!
00:38:18.000 Look, I know tennis is fucking hard.
00:38:20.000 Tennis, man, it's another thing.
00:38:21.000 This is like tennis reduced to a smaller court, basically.
00:38:25.000 Probably healthier for you.
00:38:26.000 Not as hard on the ankles and the knees.
00:38:29.000 It's not as hard.
00:38:32.000 We'll have to go.
00:38:33.000 After we have our steak, we'll go for a game.
00:38:37.000 Where would one go?
00:38:38.000 They have courts in Venice Beach.
00:38:39.000 That's what I thought it was.
00:38:40.000 I've always seen these small tennis courts there and I didn't know really what people were playing on.
00:38:44.000 So they're calling it paddle tennis.
00:38:46.000 Yeah, maybe this.
00:38:48.000 But this is what it is.
00:38:49.000 These guys look ridiculous.
00:38:51.000 They should just go home.
00:38:52.000 This is outrageous.
00:38:53.000 What are you doing, sir?
00:38:55.000 I'm telling you, put a little English.
00:38:57.000 Listen, I grew up playing ping pong.
00:38:59.000 I'm really good at ping pong.
00:39:00.000 Are you really?
00:39:01.000 Yeah.
00:39:01.000 So this is like a larger version of ping pong.
00:39:07.000 Yeah, it looks like it's fun.
00:39:09.000 All bullshit aside, that looks like a good time.
00:39:12.000 It's fun, believe me.
00:39:13.000 I know your listeners are dying laughing right now, but I'm telling you, it's good.
00:39:22.000 That's what I'm doing, Joe.
00:39:23.000 So you take your trainer with you on the road.
00:39:25.000 That's the move.
00:39:26.000 Where'd you meet this guy?
00:39:28.000 I've known him for 20 years.
00:39:29.000 I met him on the set of Days of Our Lives doing extra work.
00:39:32.000 Holy shit.
00:39:33.000 Days of Our Lives.
00:39:34.000 When I first came out to LA in 1998, I was the type of guy I would do these weird mailings to get work.
00:39:45.000 So for Days of Our Lives, no, it was General Hospital.
00:39:48.000 General Hospital.
00:39:50.000 Take a headshot, and then take a post-it note, and I would write on the post-it note, ready to operate.
00:39:59.000 I stuck it to the headshot, and I sent it out.
00:40:02.000 So I would do these weird little mailings where, oh, maybe the person opening the mail would go, oh, and get a little chuckle and whatnot.
00:40:08.000 So I met him doing extra work.
00:40:10.000 This is what I used to do for some extra cash.
00:40:14.000 And we became fast friends.
00:40:16.000 He's an Italian kid, and...
00:40:19.000 Similar upbringing, middle class.
00:40:21.000 He's from New York.
00:40:22.000 I'm from Chicago.
00:40:23.000 Just a great, great guy.
00:40:26.000 He set me up with my wife.
00:40:28.000 That's how I know my wife through him.
00:40:30.000 He's been a huge, huge help for me.
00:40:32.000 That's awesome, man.
00:40:33.000 If you can find a guy who actually knows what he's doing, that is so huge because they also know what you need.
00:40:39.000 They're like, hey, we need to concentrate more on your rear delts and the issues you're having with your shoulders or your mobility, so we're going to work on some band work first and warm you up.
00:40:49.000 You could fuck yourself up just doing it by yourself.
00:40:52.000 I did.
00:40:52.000 You really could.
00:40:53.000 I did, and you're right.
00:40:54.000 He knows what to work on, what to loosen up.
00:40:58.000 Let's not jump right into the exercise.
00:41:01.000 Let's warm it up a little bit.
00:41:02.000 So yeah, I credit him to kind of get me back on the health and fitness.
00:41:08.000 Plus, we're taking our own meals.
00:41:09.000 That's another thing.
00:41:11.000 We pack our own meals.
00:41:12.000 We get like a service, and we bring breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the road.
00:41:18.000 And that's our meals.
00:41:19.000 Whoa, you're taking it to another level.
00:41:21.000 Yeah, well, listen, I was going out having a dry-aged at midnight.
00:41:26.000 I was eating a full-blown steak, asparagus, and baked potato, and then I would go to bed.
00:41:34.000 Yeah, sounds good.
00:41:35.000 It's delicious.
00:41:36.000 I like it.
00:41:37.000 I'm doing that.
00:41:39.000 Blood ain't moving, right.
00:41:41.000 That is true.
00:41:42.000 You know, sometimes I will come home from the store, and I'm hungry, and I'll eat late night, and then I'll wake up almost hungover.
00:41:48.000 I'm like, what?
00:41:49.000 I didn't even drink.
00:41:50.000 Oh, I ate.
00:41:51.000 I ate like a thousand calories at 2.30 in the morning.
00:41:55.000 Yeah.
00:41:55.000 Yeah.
00:41:56.000 Well, last night, my wife and I had sushi.
00:41:58.000 I woke up, and the sodium was unbelievable.
00:42:02.000 I was like, jeez!
00:42:04.000 From one thing of sushi?
00:42:06.000 I look like I need to go sweat in your sauna.
00:42:10.000 Is it sodium in sushi?
00:42:12.000 Like what's it from the salt?
00:42:13.000 It's the soy sauce.
00:42:16.000 That's where at least I'm picking it up from.
00:42:19.000 Who are all these guys showing up at our door?
00:42:24.000 Okay.
00:42:29.000 But sodium is not...
00:42:30.000 What would it be in?
00:42:31.000 The soy sauce?
00:42:32.000 The soy sauce, right?
00:42:32.000 They have that green soy sauce that's like the low...
00:42:34.000 You know, they always have the low one and the high one.
00:42:37.000 They have the two different kinds of soy sauce.
00:42:38.000 Yeah, low sodium and high sodium.
00:42:40.000 I think last night I had the high sodium and I woke up and...
00:42:44.000 It wasn't good.
00:42:45.000 How much soy sauce are you using?
00:42:47.000 You know what I like?
00:42:48.000 What do you like?
00:42:48.000 I like the soy sauce and then I like the wasabi.
00:42:51.000 I put a clump of that in.
00:42:54.000 In the soy sauce and then you mix it up?
00:42:55.000 I mix it up.
00:42:56.000 Make like a slurry?
00:42:57.000 Yeah, it gets thick.
00:43:00.000 Yeah.
00:43:00.000 So when I eat the sushi, it burns my nose.
00:43:04.000 That's how I like it.
00:43:05.000 I like it that way, too.
00:43:07.000 Sometimes sushi chefs don't like it when you do that.
00:43:09.000 They get offended.
00:43:11.000 What, disrespecting the fish?
00:43:12.000 Yeah.
00:43:13.000 It should stand alone.
00:43:14.000 Did you ever see that movie, Jiro Dreams of Sushi?
00:43:17.000 Oh, is that the guy that's got that sushi joint in the train station?
00:43:21.000 Yeah, in Japan.
00:43:22.000 Yeah.
00:43:23.000 Have you seen that?
00:43:24.000 I've seen half of it.
00:43:26.000 It's really weird, because it changed my idea of what sushi is.
00:43:30.000 I used to think, oh, they're cutting fish up, they slap it on a piece of rice, it's great.
00:43:34.000 It's good, tastes good, clean, easy for you.
00:43:37.000 Now I realize this guy, it's his life's dedication to putting together the perfect tastes.
00:43:43.000 There was one guy that's been working on this egg plate for a year, trying to perfect it, trying to get it right.
00:43:51.000 Similar to like a joke, you know, trying to make the joke so perfect, just trying to get the dish so perfect.
00:43:58.000 But I would never have thought that with sushi.
00:43:59.000 I thought, like, if someone said a sushi chef, I'd be like, uh, yeah, right, okay.
00:44:05.000 Like, he's not really a chef.
00:44:06.000 He's just cutting up fish.
00:44:08.000 Yeah.
00:44:09.000 Yeah, but there's something about the way they're preparing these, I mean, yeah, it's one thing if you're getting like sashimi, it's just salmon, but if they're putting it together with rice and, you know, it's like a science.
00:44:22.000 Yeah, no, it's definitely a science.
00:44:23.000 It's also a science because they age the fish, which I didn't know.
00:44:27.000 I didn't know that.
00:44:28.000 Yeah, I was watching this YouTube thing where these guys were going to the sushi place and they were saying that tuna, they will have their tuna in the refrigerator for as long as two weeks.
00:44:37.000 In preparation for sushi.
00:44:38.000 And just like dry-aged steak, the aging of the tuna breaks down, the bacteria break down some of the tissue and make it softer and more delicate and change the flavor profile.
00:44:51.000 Yeah, no, I had no idea.
00:44:53.000 I thought they caught it.
00:44:55.000 Don't you freeze fish for it to be sashimi grade?
00:44:59.000 Is that the deal?
00:45:01.000 I don't know.
00:45:02.000 Is that the case?
00:45:03.000 I don't know.
00:45:04.000 Let's find out what makes something sashimi great.
00:45:05.000 I saw there was a guy who caught a big ass fucking tuna and they sold it for three million dollars.
00:45:11.000 That's what I had queued up until you made me.
00:45:13.000 Yeah, but go back to that.
00:45:14.000 What in the fuck is that?
00:45:16.000 Five thousand dollars a pound.
00:45:18.000 Japan's king of tuna.
00:45:20.000 Is that racist?
00:45:21.000 Is that racist?
00:45:24.000 The way I said it, it seemed racist.
00:45:26.000 The first tuna auction of the year at Tokyo's new fish market set a record price.
00:45:31.000 More than three million for a giant bluefin tuna, a critically endangered species.
00:45:35.000 Wow.
00:45:36.000 Yeah, see, that's where you gotta go, man.
00:45:39.000 Is it critically endangered?
00:45:40.000 And if it is so, should you really be cutting that fucker up?
00:45:44.000 Yeah.
00:45:45.000 I don't know about that.
00:45:46.000 When I was in Hawaii, we caught some yellowtail.
00:45:51.000 My youngest daughter loves fishing, so I went out with her and we went on this boat and we were actually jigging.
00:45:56.000 There's like this shelf and this big drop-off and these yellowtails hang out there.
00:46:02.000 We caught a gang of them.
00:46:03.000 And one of the things they were saying was that The Big Island had a farm where they were farming yellowtail.
00:46:12.000 Like, they had this gigantic, like, sort of netted-in area where the fish couldn't leave, and they were trapped in this area.
00:46:19.000 But then this storm came and broke down all the nets, and the fish escaped.
00:46:24.000 And now they're everywhere, and you're catching them.
00:46:27.000 We caught, like, six or seven of them, and they're fucking big, like 10 pounds, and you're fighting them on, like, a light spinning rod.
00:46:34.000 So it's like...
00:46:36.000 Like, really awesome, awesome time.
00:46:38.000 But they were unbelievably delicious.
00:46:40.000 But these are non-native.
00:46:42.000 They brought them over there and released them.
00:46:43.000 Like, they better start doing that with other fish.
00:46:45.000 Right.
00:46:46.000 Like, they really should set up these fish farms and just release these motherfuckers out into the ocean.
00:46:50.000 Because they're just taking nets and pulling them across the bottom of the floor.
00:46:54.000 It's not even...
00:46:55.000 It's like such a...
00:46:57.000 There's something to be said about going out and catching the fish, like you're saying, rather than taking a net and just scooping everything up in its path.
00:47:05.000 Everything.
00:47:06.000 Turtles, dolphins, whatever the fuck is there.
00:47:08.000 Everything gets jacked.
00:47:09.000 And the problem is, you know, there's...
00:47:14.000 We're good to go.
00:47:31.000 It's funny.
00:47:32.000 They have the regulations for hunting, but they don't have it in the ocean.
00:47:37.000 It's because nobody owns it.
00:47:39.000 You only own a certain amount of your shore.
00:47:43.000 Say, from Malibu out.
00:47:46.000 I don't know how much the United States owns, but we only own a certain amount.
00:47:51.000 And then it becomes international waters.
00:47:53.000 International waters is like anybody can be out there.
00:47:57.000 It's weird.
00:47:58.000 I mean, it makes sense, but there's no...
00:48:01.000 I don't think there's any...
00:48:03.000 I think if you have a boat, you can just kind of go anywhere that's international water.
00:48:08.000 Just no regulations.
00:48:09.000 Here, what is...
00:48:09.000 What parts of the ocean are considered international water?
00:48:12.000 Territorial waters or territorial seas defined by a 1982 United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea.
00:48:19.000 It's a belt of coastal waters extending at most 12 nautical miles from the baseline, usually...
00:48:26.000 The mean low water mark of the coastal state.
00:48:29.000 So 12 miles.
00:48:30.000 So 12 miles out.
00:48:32.000 Or 13.8 miles?
00:48:34.000 Yeah, nautical miles.
00:48:35.000 Oh, nautical miles is different, huh?
00:48:37.000 Interesting.
00:48:38.000 Why is it different?
00:48:39.000 How weird is that?
00:48:40.000 Nautical miles is different than regular miles?
00:48:42.000 What the fuck?
00:48:42.000 Get it together.
00:48:43.000 Don't call it a mile then, you fucks.
00:48:45.000 Imagine, hey buddy, I'll meet you at 12 miles.
00:48:48.000 Alright, 12 nautical miles.
00:48:49.000 And the guy's a mile and a.8 away from you.
00:48:53.000 Although stores use the label sushi-grade fish, there is no official standards for using this label.
00:48:58.000 The only regulation is that parasitic fish, such as salmon, should be frozen to kill any parasites for being consumed raw.
00:49:04.000 The best ones are assigned grade 1, which is usually what would be sold as sushi-grade.
00:49:09.000 But what about sashimi-grade, is what he said.
00:49:11.000 It's the same thing?
00:49:12.000 It's the same.
00:49:12.000 That's why I looked up, and that's what popped up.
00:49:14.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to eat salmon raw, apparently.
00:49:16.000 Salmon is a freshwater fish, and salmon, it can fuck you up.
00:49:20.000 But you could pull a tuna out of the water.
00:49:22.000 Right out of the ocean.
00:49:23.000 Yeah, I have a buddy of mine who went in tuna fishing off of San Diego.
00:49:26.000 They caught a tuna, and they sliced it up and ate it right there on the boat, right after they pulled it out of the water.
00:49:32.000 That I haven't done, but that, to me, would be the best eating right out of the water.
00:49:38.000 I just hope they don't wait until there's nothing left before they start doing something to save them.
00:49:44.000 If you're taking a fish and you're buying it for $3 million, that's almost like a scene in a movie, right?
00:49:51.000 That's like the end.
00:49:52.000 This was one of the last tuna.
00:49:54.000 Look, they bought it for $3 million and everybody's smiling and they're cutting it up.
00:49:57.000 It's like...
00:49:59.000 Hunting regulations are critical, but you know what the population is.
00:50:03.000 The fish and wildlife departments have all these different methods they use, whether it's using reports from hunters, whether they fly over with airplanes and helicopters and things along those lines.
00:50:17.000 We're good to go.
00:50:34.000 There might be 500 tags available, but there might be like 2,000 hunters that are applying for those tags.
00:50:40.000 So most people are not going to get it.
00:50:42.000 It's a very smart way.
00:50:45.000 They've really got it down to a science.
00:50:47.000 Because of that, there's more white-tailed deer in this country than even when Columbus landed.
00:50:53.000 They've got a really good system.
00:50:54.000 If they could figure something out for the ocean.
00:50:57.000 The problem is you have to get everybody to cooperate.
00:50:59.000 They can't even get Japan to stop killing whales.
00:51:02.000 There's certain Japanese folks who have this really sneaky thing they do, and there's this conservation group called the Sea Shepherds, and they catch these fucking people all the time.
00:51:15.000 But what they basically do is they say, we're a research boat.
00:51:21.000 Yeah.
00:51:42.000 It gets weird when things are smart.
00:51:44.000 That's when it gets weird.
00:51:45.000 Something as smart as a fucking whale.
00:51:48.000 Yeah, I mean...
00:51:49.000 Yeah, in these countries, they're using, like you said, parts of the fish for...
00:51:58.000 They put it on their mantle.
00:52:00.000 They got like a, I don't know, a tooth or what have you from a whale or a shark or whatever it is.
00:52:07.000 Well, that's the big thing with rhinos.
00:52:10.000 These guys cut the rhino horns off and they drink it like in a tea and it's supposed to make your dick hard.
00:52:17.000 See, this is what I'm talking about.
00:52:18.000 You know these things.
00:52:20.000 I mean, I don't know how the hell you remember all this stuff.
00:52:25.000 I just forgot the mileage off the coast.
00:52:29.000 13.8 nautical miles.
00:52:33.000 13.8 miles, 12 nautical miles.
00:52:36.000 1.8 difference.
00:52:38.000 Oh my god.
00:52:38.000 1.8 difference at 12 miles, which is, who knows how long, when you get to 500 miles out, you gotta do the math.
00:52:44.000 That's crazy.
00:52:45.000 It's stupid.
00:52:46.000 Yeah, I don't know how to remember these things.
00:52:52.000 It's a fucking screwy brain.
00:52:54.000 I wish I had your memory, Joe.
00:52:56.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:52:57.000 It's not the best, I'm telling you.
00:52:58.000 It's like, there's a lot of shit that I don't remember.
00:53:01.000 I just remember things that are interesting.
00:53:04.000 You know?
00:53:05.000 I have a...
00:53:06.000 It's an odd sense of memory.
00:53:09.000 But the rhino horn thing is kind of sad because it doesn't even work.
00:53:14.000 You know?
00:53:14.000 Especially in this day and age where people can get Viagra.
00:53:17.000 It works.
00:53:18.000 Yeah.
00:53:19.000 But there's something about it, I think, in some Asian cultures where it's considered like a sign of wealth.
00:53:25.000 You drive a Rolls Royce.
00:53:27.000 You drink rhino tea.
00:53:28.000 This guy's a baller.
00:53:29.000 You know?
00:53:30.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
00:53:31.000 He drinks rhino tea.
00:53:32.000 You know?
00:53:33.000 Like, oh, man.
00:53:36.000 What a guy.
00:53:37.000 Yeah.
00:53:37.000 But there's something about that.
00:53:39.000 Like, you know, yeah, I want to eat an extinct animal.
00:53:41.000 I want to bring a woolly mammoth back to life and shoot it in the head.
00:53:44.000 Like, there's some people that are like that.
00:53:46.000 Like, they want to be the ultimate conqueror.
00:53:48.000 And, you know, I want to eat a whale dick.
00:53:50.000 You know what I mean?
00:53:51.000 Like, there's people that are like that.
00:53:54.000 I'm just looking for a nice steak, Joe.
00:53:56.000 A nice steak or a good linguine with clam sauce.
00:53:59.000 That place that I saw you at when I was with my kids, Madeo's, that's a sensational Italian restaurant.
00:54:05.000 That place is legit.
00:54:06.000 Well, that place moved.
00:54:08.000 Yeah.
00:54:08.000 Have you been to the new place in Beverly Hills?
00:54:10.000 I have not.
00:54:10.000 Where did they move?
00:54:11.000 Beverly Hills somewhere, yeah.
00:54:13.000 So that place is excellent.
00:54:14.000 What's in the old spot?
00:54:16.000 They're redoing the whole building.
00:54:17.000 That's why they had to move.
00:54:18.000 So, I mean, I think that's one of the last times I've eaten there when I saw you and your kids having a meal there.
00:54:26.000 Yeah, that place is good.
00:54:27.000 The pastas are fantastic.
00:54:28.000 As good as it gets.
00:54:29.000 It's delicious.
00:54:30.000 They make the perfect linguine with clams.
00:54:33.000 They do.
00:54:33.000 It's like perfect.
00:54:34.000 It is.
00:54:35.000 It just is not too soupy.
00:54:38.000 You know, some people get crazy with the liquid, and you get it, and it's almost like bathing in a soup.
00:54:44.000 But they have it.
00:54:45.000 It's nice.
00:54:46.000 It's al dente.
00:54:47.000 It's got some chew to it.
00:54:49.000 Yeah!
00:54:50.000 And the place is authentic, too.
00:54:52.000 I mean, they got, like, guys walking around there from, like, Sicily and Italy.
00:54:56.000 And the owner is a little old man that kind of walks around and makes sure everything's okay, and he's speaking Italian, and, yeah, you feel like you're in Italy when you're here.
00:55:06.000 I saw Al Pacino there, so you know it's legit.
00:55:08.000 Oh, you did?
00:55:08.000 Yes, I did.
00:55:09.000 Wow.
00:55:10.000 Yes, I did.
00:55:11.000 That's crazy.
00:55:12.000 You know what I saw there?
00:55:13.000 Shannon Doherty.
00:55:14.000 Remember her?
00:55:15.000 Oh, 90210?
00:55:17.000 She was like the original bad girl.
00:55:18.000 Yeah, there's a lot of celebrities that pop in.
00:55:20.000 I saw Jay-Z and Beyonce come in.
00:55:23.000 Oh, shit!
00:55:24.000 Oh, yeah!
00:55:26.000 Shit!
00:55:27.000 They coming through the back door?
00:55:28.000 Yeah.
00:55:28.000 Did they?
00:55:29.000 Oh, it was like a trap.
00:55:30.000 There's a tunnel under the ground.
00:55:33.000 Let's put the celebrities in.
00:55:34.000 Pop them up through.
00:55:36.000 Yeah.
00:55:37.000 Oh, man.
00:55:38.000 So, what was it like doing Madison Square Garden?
00:55:42.000 You did four shows in Madison Square Garden.
00:55:44.000 You did it in the round.
00:55:46.000 Yeah.
00:55:47.000 How many shows have you done in the round before?
00:55:50.000 Leading up to that, I'd say probably 15, 16. Oh, so you've done quite a few in the round.
00:55:56.000 Yeah.
00:55:56.000 Do you like it?
00:55:58.000 It's a different animal.
00:56:00.000 My act is very physical and expressive, so it kind of works for that type of environment.
00:56:10.000 Yeah.
00:56:24.000 You got your back to them, and it's kind of difficult to...
00:56:27.000 Look at you there.
00:56:28.000 Wow, that's so crazy.
00:56:31.000 That's 18,000 people?
00:56:33.000 Yeah.
00:56:33.000 That's fucking bananas, dude.
00:56:36.000 So yeah, it's been, for New York, New York for me has been really, really good to me over the years.
00:56:42.000 Obviously, I'm Italian, and there's a lot of Italians in the New York City area.
00:56:46.000 But what I think has happened is I'm talking about, like, family, and I'm talking about, like, the immigrant experience, my father being an immigrant from Sicily.
00:56:56.000 And what I'm seeing at my shows is not only an 88-year-old grandmother, but a 12-year-old kid and kind of everybody in between.
00:57:05.000 Wow.
00:57:05.000 So it's very broad.
00:57:08.000 It's comedy, and I'm not tooting my own horn here, I'm just saying it's comedy that you could come and not cringe because the material might be a little blue or what have you.
00:57:18.000 Joey Diaz.
00:57:22.000 Imagine if you had Joey Diaz open for you at Madison Square Garden.
00:57:26.000 Let me tell you, cocksucker, this is how you eat that muffler.
00:57:29.000 What?
00:57:29.000 What?
00:57:30.000 What?
00:57:31.000 Yeah, they'd be a little shocked.
00:57:32.000 Oh my God.
00:57:33.000 So, yeah, I mean, that's why I think I was able to do four shows at Madison Square Garden, just because my audience is a large swath of multi-generational artists.
00:57:44.000 It's multi-generational.
00:57:46.000 There's just a lot of different people at the shows.
00:57:48.000 And to do Madison Square Garden, for me, as we were talking prior to getting on here, I was saying that I think I took a little too much on my plate.
00:57:58.000 And what I mean by that is...
00:58:01.000 Coming up in comedy, I used to say yes to everything.
00:58:05.000 The phone used to ring, and it was my agent.
00:58:07.000 You want to do it?
00:58:08.000 Yeah, put me down.
00:58:09.000 I'm in.
00:58:10.000 Well, you're trying to work.
00:58:11.000 Trying to work.
00:58:12.000 And what has happened, once you get too busy, I think, you need to learn to press the brakes a little bit.
00:58:20.000 So I did a ton of press when I was in New York, and I had family there.
00:58:25.000 I had friends there.
00:58:27.000 And I think...
00:58:27.000 I spread myself a little too thin, so when the shows came, I don't feel like I was operating at an optimal level to perform.
00:58:39.000 Yeah, it was fun.
00:58:41.000 I still had a good time, but...
00:58:43.000 The more and more I do stand-up, the more and more I feel like you really got to be clear-headed in the moment and you can't overwork yourself.
00:58:55.000 It's just who I am.
00:58:56.000 I've always been a worker.
00:58:58.000 I mean, when I wasn't going to college and I had time off in the summer, I was working.
00:59:06.000 I used to work summers as a janitor during high school.
00:59:10.000 So all the time was always occupied with work.
00:59:14.000 And I feel if I'm not working, I feel like, or I'm not doing press, or I'm not doing anything.
00:59:21.000 I feel like...
00:59:22.000 You're slacking.
00:59:23.000 Yeah.
00:59:24.000 I feel like, because my father has always put it in my head, you know, what are you doing?
00:59:30.000 Like he'd come home and go, what'd you do today?
00:59:33.000 You know, I'm like, I don't know.
00:59:34.000 All an angry face.
00:59:36.000 Yeah, it was like, all right, you know, you're going to paint the fence this week.
00:59:41.000 So there was always something to do.
00:59:43.000 And that work ethic has bled into my career.
00:59:46.000 And now that I've had some success in my career, I think I have to kind of pull it back a little bit and not say yes to an interview that maybe, you know.
00:59:58.000 It's not going to help, but it's going to take up a lot of your time.
01:00:00.000 Yes.
01:00:01.000 Yeah.
01:00:01.000 Exactly.
01:00:02.000 Yeah, no, I'm in the same boat.
01:00:04.000 And, I mean, I think sometimes even I do too many podcasts.
01:00:07.000 I think, but there's a lot of fucking people I want to talk to, so it's hard.
01:00:11.000 But I think I've definitely stopped doing interviews and all those different things for that reason.
01:00:17.000 It's just...
01:00:18.000 There's only a certain amount of time you have.
01:00:20.000 And like you, I have a family.
01:00:22.000 Like you, I exercise.
01:00:24.000 And I have a lot of hobbies, man, between archery and martial arts and reading and just watching documentaries.
01:00:34.000 Is it going to help?
01:00:35.000 I don't want to be any more famous.
01:00:38.000 We were talking about this earlier.
01:00:39.000 It's good.
01:00:40.000 I'm working.
01:00:41.000 That's all I want to do.
01:00:42.000 What I want to do now is do my best work.
01:00:44.000 That's my number one objective Whether it's stand-up, whether it's UFC commentary, whether it's doing a podcast, I want to do my best work.
01:00:54.000 And I don't think that I can do my best work if I'm scattered.
01:00:58.000 And I often am.
01:00:59.000 I think you hit the nail on the head.
01:01:01.000 Doing your best work, whatever you're doing.
01:01:04.000 So if you're going to come in here today and do a podcast...
01:01:07.000 Whatever you did prior to this cannot really take away from the energy that you need to do this.
01:01:13.000 Same thing with the MMA and then the announcing and the same thing with the stand-up comedy.
01:01:17.000 I feel that sometimes I jeopardize myself and I take on too much and I've realized that and I'm going to kind of I got another baby coming.
01:01:30.000 Thank you.
01:01:31.000 Family's growing.
01:01:33.000 I come home and I'm looking at my daughter.
01:01:35.000 She's 20 months.
01:01:36.000 Those moments for me are like, do I want to take my daughter out for lunch or do I want to do an interview?
01:01:44.000 In Idaho.
01:01:46.000 Right, right.
01:01:46.000 I know you've got to sell tickets.
01:01:48.000 That's part of the game.
01:01:49.000 But I think I need to kind of just choose my roads a little careful.
01:01:57.000 Well, that's one of the good things about social media is that it allows you these paths to distribute flyers and you put little posters of where you're going to be and stuff like that.
01:02:08.000 And it can reach your actual fans as opposed to just...
01:02:12.000 Random person who's listening to the radio or random person who picks up the newspaper.
01:02:17.000 Well, that's what I think.
01:02:18.000 But I like to reach the person that doesn't know who I am.
01:02:24.000 It's fun to go to your fan base, but I'm sure a lot of the people that listen to your podcast maybe not know who I am.
01:02:32.000 And it's a joy for me to get someone, who is this guy, maybe check him out, and to get a new fan, opposed to maybe feeding the fan base I currently have.
01:02:43.000 I'm always looking for new people to come on board with what I'm doing.
01:02:47.000 So, you know, when I do a radio show in Peoria at 7 o'clock in the morning, I'm hoping someone's in their car going...
01:02:58.000 Check them out.
01:03:00.000 And even if it was two people that bought the ticket, for me, I would think that it was worth it getting up to get two more fans.
01:03:08.000 Right.
01:03:09.000 That makes sense.
01:03:09.000 Sometimes, though, it hurts the end product, and the reason why I'm here is the stand-up comedy.
01:03:17.000 If that starts to slack, then everything else falls apart.
01:03:20.000 Yeah, I feel the same way and I've learned over the years what the mistakes are, like where I can screw it up.
01:03:26.000 Like podcasts, for instance, I don't do, like, I used to do like a hot yoga class at 10.30, it gets out at noon, I do a podcast at 1.00.
01:03:35.000 I don't do that anymore.
01:03:37.000 Because I found I was just too fucking worn out.
01:03:39.000 Because I do a 90 minute yoga class and I come in here and I'm still like, oh yeah, what?
01:03:44.000 What are we talking about?
01:03:45.000 Like I'm still spacey.
01:03:46.000 I need two hours.
01:03:48.000 I need two hours and I need to drink a shitload of water and then I'm good to go.
01:03:51.000 But I need that extra hour.
01:03:53.000 So now I'll do like an 8.30 class or something like that or maybe even a 6 in the morning class.
01:03:57.000 And so when I have a 1 p.m.
01:03:59.000 podcast, I'm fucking completely acclimated.
01:04:01.000 But I had to do that by trial and error.
01:04:03.000 Absolutely.
01:04:04.000 And that's where I'm at.
01:04:05.000 I think I'm trying to figure out what the balance is of creating a life outside of stand-up and then giving all I can to stand up.
01:04:15.000 And even I do a podcast with Pete Correale that we did a live podcast for the first time.
01:04:23.000 And I don't know if you've seen this.
01:04:25.000 The podcast listener is a different audience than what's arriving at my shows.
01:04:31.000 Two different audiences.
01:04:33.000 There's a definite podcast listener out there.
01:04:38.000 I mean, people that listen and consume podcasts.
01:04:40.000 And it crosses over, don't get me wrong.
01:04:42.000 But I went to do the podcast in Orlando and totally different vibe.
01:04:49.000 It's nice to see who the hell is listening to this stuff.
01:04:54.000 And we did it.
01:04:55.000 I don't know if you've ever done a live cast, but I'm sure you're like an anomaly.
01:05:01.000 You got fans from all different walks of life.
01:05:04.000 I mean, you're in the stand-up world.
01:05:05.000 You're in the mixed martial arts world.
01:05:08.000 You're in the podcast world.
01:05:09.000 So there must be a lot of different people coming to your shows.
01:05:12.000 Yeah, there's a lot of weirdos.
01:05:14.000 Yeah.
01:05:14.000 I would say, if you see a dude with shaved head and tattoos and he's kind of jacked, he probably knows who I am.
01:05:21.000 That guy.
01:05:23.000 It's like a lot of people that are into the science podcasts or the, you know, podcasts with...
01:05:30.000 Interesting intellectuals.
01:05:31.000 There's a lot of...
01:05:32.000 Yeah.
01:05:33.000 But there's people that don't like the mixed martial arts stuff, and they like me for other things.
01:05:39.000 It's hard.
01:05:40.000 You can't please everybody.
01:05:42.000 No, you can't.
01:05:43.000 It's not really possible.
01:05:44.000 And then along the way, you find that out, and you piss a bunch of people off.
01:05:48.000 They're like, I don't like that part of you.
01:05:50.000 Like, okay.
01:05:51.000 I don't know what to tell you.
01:05:52.000 Yeah, you can't make everybody happy.
01:05:53.000 No.
01:05:54.000 Especially if you do a lot of shit.
01:05:55.000 Yeah.
01:05:57.000 But I'm lucky with the job with the UFC that they don't really care about the other things that I do.
01:06:03.000 Because if I was working for a more sensitive organization, you know, obviously it's a fucking cage fighting promotion.
01:06:10.000 It's like, how sensitive can you get?
01:06:12.000 But with some social issues, you know, it's like if I was working for the NBA, I'd probably been fired a decade ago.
01:06:18.000 You know?
01:06:19.000 Easily.
01:06:20.000 The MMA is definitely a, or the UFC is definitely an animal in itself.
01:06:26.000 How did you get into that position?
01:06:30.000 Did you know Dana White and you started...
01:06:33.000 For you, I always wanted to ask you this at the Comedy Store.
01:06:37.000 How did you become kind of the voice of the UFC? Well, I started in 1997. I was the post-fight interviewer.
01:06:45.000 It was just a position that was available, and the UFC was very small back then.
01:06:50.000 Very few people knew what it was.
01:06:52.000 It was off a cable.
01:06:54.000 You couldn't get it on cable.
01:06:55.000 You could only get it on satellite.
01:06:57.000 And they needed someone to do post-fight interviews.
01:07:00.000 But you were in that world to begin with?
01:07:02.000 I was in the martial arts world.
01:07:04.000 I used to teach martial arts for a living.
01:07:06.000 Before I became a comedian, I used to fight.
01:07:08.000 Fought in a lot of taekwondo tournaments and had some kickboxing fights and I'd always been a martial artist since I was a kid.
01:07:15.000 And so I just was interested in watching the UFC and then I started training in jiu-jitsu and when I was training in jiu-jitsu I was just a white belt.
01:07:23.000 I was just starting out.
01:07:23.000 That's when I got hired by the UFC to be a post-fight interviewer.
01:07:27.000 But I only did that for two years and then I quit.
01:07:30.000 It was just too much and it was actually like it was...
01:07:33.000 I was losing money.
01:07:35.000 I would make more money doing a weekend at a comedy club than I would doing the UFC. And it just got to a point where it was too much of a pain in the ass.
01:07:44.000 And so I still remained a fan but I backed away.
01:07:47.000 And then the UFC was purchased by this company called Zufa in 2001. And when that happened, they started putting on shows in Vegas.
01:07:56.000 And I would go there with my friends.
01:07:58.000 They got me free tickets.
01:08:00.000 They reached out.
01:08:00.000 And they would try to get celebrities to go sit there.
01:08:04.000 Because they were very small at the time.
01:08:05.000 And they were hemorrhaging money.
01:08:07.000 And they were trying to build it up.
01:08:09.000 Yeah.
01:08:28.000 And he talked me into it for one show, UFC 37 and a half.
01:08:33.000 It was a show that was on one of those Fox sports networks, smaller networks.
01:08:40.000 And I think it was the best damn sports show, period, was a part of it.
01:08:45.000 I did that, and the rest is history.
01:08:47.000 Wow.
01:08:47.000 And then I did like 12 of them for free.
01:08:50.000 The UFC didn't have any money.
01:08:51.000 Well, they were hemorrhaging money.
01:08:53.000 There were rich people that owned it, but it was not a profitable venture.
01:08:56.000 And I said, look, just get me there, get me my friend's tickets, and I'll do it.
01:09:00.000 And so that's how I operated for like over a year.
01:09:04.000 And then I just became the commentator.
01:09:07.000 It's just weird.
01:09:08.000 That's crazy.
01:09:09.000 It's just Dana White.
01:09:10.000 He's a crazy man.
01:09:11.000 And he's got a weird way of looking at things that's very effective.
01:09:15.000 And in his crazy mind, he's like, let's take this guy who's never even thought about being a commentator and make him our commentator.
01:09:23.000 I mean, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
01:09:25.000 I mean, I really didn't have any training at all in sports commentary.
01:09:29.000 I just would see what was happening and start talking about it.
01:09:33.000 Which is really like the wrong...
01:09:36.000 I was more even play-by-play and color.
01:09:39.000 It was like doing both of them at the same time.
01:09:41.000 It was really weird.
01:09:42.000 And as far as you doing that, do you get any notes from anybody going, hey, Joe, try this, try that?
01:09:50.000 Or you just develop that voice all on your own?
01:09:53.000 100% on my own.
01:09:54.000 The only thing that I had was, there's like Mark Della Grotte, who's a good friend of mine.
01:10:00.000 He's one of the top trainers in the world.
01:10:04.000 He's in the truck.
01:10:05.000 And I can communicate with him.
01:10:07.000 There's a button where I can communicate with him and we talk about stuff.
01:10:10.000 I can say, does he look like he's limping to you?
01:10:13.000 And he's like, yeah, there's something wrong with his leg.
01:10:14.000 I go, the left leg, right?
01:10:15.000 He's like, yeah, yeah.
01:10:16.000 And then I'll start talking about it.
01:10:17.000 I'll be able to bounce it back and forth with him.
01:10:20.000 Or sometimes it's obvious and I'll say it myself and I'll ask him, am I wrong?
01:10:25.000 Is he dropping his hand?
01:10:28.000 It's a nice thing to have someone to bounce things off.
01:10:31.000 It used to be Eddie Bravo.
01:10:32.000 Eddie Bravo used to do it as well, where I would...
01:10:34.000 We'd be able to talk to him about certain positions, because he would be in the truck, and I'd be able to ask him, like, his left leg's in jeopardy right now, right?
01:10:42.000 Or he needs to step over with his right leg.
01:10:44.000 We'd be able to go over, because, like, there's some aspects of martial arts that are extremely technical, especially jujitsu, when things go to the ground.
01:10:52.000 And you're trying to do commentary, and I have to decipher which is his left leg, which is his right leg, where is he tied up, where is he tangled, and I'm doing it in real time while I'm trying to be entertaining and talking.
01:11:03.000 It's very complicated.
01:11:04.000 But nobody taught me how to do it.
01:11:06.000 I just figured out how to do it.
01:11:07.000 And you're not looking at a Jim Lampley or anybody in the broadcasting world when it comes to fights?
01:11:14.000 This is something that you developed on your own.
01:11:17.000 Sometimes you look, as a comedian, you look at other comedians, say the Friars or the Carlins or whatnot.
01:11:23.000 You didn't have a mentor?
01:11:25.000 No, not necessarily because there wasn't a lot of guys that did it For martial arts commentary, there was John Peretti, who was excellent.
01:11:39.000 He was one of the very best, who was actually the UFC matchmaker and a commentator when I first started.
01:11:45.000 He was very good.
01:11:47.000 There's a guy named Jeff Armstrong.
01:11:48.000 He was very good, too.
01:11:49.000 He was there when I first started, too.
01:11:51.000 He actually ran a promotion called Hook and Shoot.
01:11:53.000 He's excellent.
01:11:54.000 He really knows what he's doing.
01:11:55.000 And then there's a few other guys that also did it, but...
01:11:59.000 There's like, what I do as far as like doing commentary for MMA, there's maybe 10 guys in the world that do it.
01:12:07.000 Yeah.
01:12:08.000 You know, that really do it on a high level.
01:12:10.000 Maybe 10 guys.
01:12:11.000 Wow.
01:12:11.000 I mean, between 1FC, between, you know, Brave, and then the UFC, Bellator, PFL, there's maybe 10 guys on the planet that are doing it.
01:12:25.000 Just not a lot of people.
01:12:26.000 No.
01:12:26.000 And there's a lot in the UFC now where fighters are now transitioning to become commentators, and oftentimes they're the best at it.
01:12:33.000 Like Michael Bisping just did this past weekend.
01:12:35.000 He was the UFC middleweight champion, and he's awesome at it already.
01:12:37.000 Did one show.
01:12:39.000 They know more, obviously, because they've been in there.
01:12:42.000 They have that added element of actually having fought in the UFC, which is gigantic.
01:12:48.000 Yeah, I could see.
01:12:49.000 I think Paul Malignaggi, he seems to be very, very knowledgeable.
01:12:54.000 Fantastic.
01:12:55.000 He's very good.
01:12:56.000 He's very good.
01:12:56.000 Very technical, but also very aware.
01:12:59.000 And fighters can see things that maybe the average person can't see.
01:13:03.000 Like they see when someone's slowing down.
01:13:04.000 They see when someone's laying back.
01:13:06.000 They see when someone got hurt to the body.
01:13:08.000 They see little things that maybe a person who's never fought before doesn't see.
01:13:12.000 Yeah, the knowledge is key, and plus the excitement level, too.
01:13:16.000 When someone gets hit for the announcer to react to that in a real way, for an audience member, it's exciting.
01:13:25.000 No, that's what's up.
01:13:27.000 If someone's boring and bland, and they don't really care what's going on, the audience feels it.
01:13:32.000 And they feel it when you're faking it, too.
01:13:33.000 If you try to pump it up and fake it.
01:13:36.000 Do you have any other hobbies outside of comedy?
01:13:40.000 I'm not a big hobby guy.
01:13:42.000 Growing up, my parents always used to say, what are you interested in?
01:13:46.000 Do you do anything?
01:13:48.000 Well, they've got to be happy now, right?
01:13:51.000 They're like, holy shit, look, it worked out.
01:13:53.000 My hobby is stand-up comedy, really.
01:13:56.000 I mean, I like to cook, don't get me wrong.
01:13:58.000 I like to travel.
01:14:00.000 My wife and I really, really enjoy going to different places, and I love hotels.
01:14:06.000 I mean, these aren't really hobbies.
01:14:08.000 It's just I like hospitality.
01:14:12.000 So that's my passion.
01:14:16.000 I like having people over at the house and making them feel good.
01:14:22.000 That's what I like to do.
01:14:24.000 I like to entertain.
01:14:26.000 If I find out you like a specific drink or you like something that's, you know, I take notice of what people like.
01:14:33.000 So when you come to my house, I got what you like there.
01:14:36.000 That's very Italian.
01:14:37.000 It's very, very Italian.
01:14:41.000 And I've always had, you know, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel, and that chain taught me to anticipate people's needs.
01:14:50.000 So anytime I have anything at my house, whether it be a birthday party, a get-together, if it's going to be a fight, I make sure when you come over, you are taken care of not only with your alcohol needs.
01:15:03.000 Here's one.
01:15:04.000 I ain't a pot guy, right?
01:15:06.000 I don't smoke pot.
01:15:08.000 You want to start?
01:15:09.000 Listen.
01:15:12.000 But I got pot at the house just in case you want some.
01:15:18.000 Really?
01:15:19.000 So I thought, you know, you have alcohol, you have beer, you have scotch, you have wine.
01:15:24.000 So what if someone doesn't have a taste for alcohol and they want a joint?
01:15:31.000 Wow.
01:15:31.000 I got a couple of joints.
01:15:33.000 What did you get it from?
01:15:34.000 PDC from the Comedy Store?
01:15:35.000 I think I got it from...
01:15:36.000 Gino from L.A. Speedweed?
01:15:38.000 No, I think it's...
01:15:40.000 What's the...
01:15:41.000 Medmen?
01:15:42.000 Yeah, Medmen.
01:15:42.000 Yeah, I went in there.
01:15:43.000 You went in there specifically just for hospitality.
01:15:46.000 Hospitality!
01:15:47.000 I mean, come on.
01:15:49.000 You came over, and I go, Joe, you want a joint?
01:15:52.000 And you're like, yeah, you want to smoke it?
01:15:53.000 No, I don't smoke, but, you know, there.
01:15:56.000 Have at it.
01:15:57.000 Just to have.
01:15:59.000 Right.
01:16:00.000 Even a cigar.
01:16:01.000 I got a cigar.
01:16:01.000 I don't smoke cigars.
01:16:02.000 You want one?
01:16:03.000 Yeah.
01:16:08.000 I don't know.
01:16:08.000 I get joy in making others happy.
01:16:13.000 So when you looked at your house, did you look at your house and go, this is a good house to entertain in?
01:16:17.000 Mm-hmm.
01:16:18.000 Ah, yeah.
01:16:19.000 Because I always see that when you see a YouTube video on a home and they're showing the home.
01:16:23.000 A wonderful entertainer's home.
01:16:25.000 An entertainer's home.
01:16:26.000 That's what I do.
01:16:26.000 What does that mean?
01:16:27.000 A singer?
01:16:28.000 Fuck that man.
01:16:29.000 A guy's playing the piano?
01:16:30.000 What does that mean?
01:16:31.000 I like a living room that bleeds into the kitchen.
01:16:35.000 I like that.
01:16:37.000 Right, right.
01:16:38.000 There's not really a wall in between the two.
01:16:41.000 It's got to be...
01:16:41.000 And then I like indoor-outdoor.
01:16:43.000 You live in California.
01:16:44.000 I like the ability to go outside.
01:16:46.000 Maybe you want to have a drink outside and bring it back in.
01:16:50.000 Yeah.
01:16:50.000 I just like the different...
01:16:52.000 That's what they're talking about when it's an entertainment...
01:16:54.000 I like a fire outside.
01:16:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:16:57.000 A little fire pit.
01:16:57.000 Yeah.
01:16:58.000 Fire pit.
01:16:59.000 Do you try to bring people, like if you have a party, do you try to bring people over that you think would have interesting conversations?
01:17:05.000 Yes, although we have a problem at this particular point.
01:17:10.000 We're in a transition period.
01:17:13.000 We have a child, so I don't know if you went through this, but a lot of, sometimes when you're coming from a single couple, but a couple with no kids, and now you have kids, now you're finding other people who have kids, right?
01:17:28.000 So that's where we're in.
01:17:30.000 We're not yet into the preschool.
01:17:33.000 So we're kind of in limbo.
01:17:35.000 We're looking for new friends.
01:17:37.000 Not that our old friends are bad.
01:17:40.000 It's just now we have other obligations.
01:17:43.000 We have a child.
01:17:44.000 We maybe can't go out to dinner at 8 o'clock at night like we used to.
01:17:49.000 Now we're looking to bring it to the house.
01:17:52.000 Yeah, no, I know exactly what you're saying.
01:17:53.000 We went through that exact same transition.
01:17:55.000 And a lot of times you pick up some dead weight along the way.
01:17:59.000 Running these people, and the only thing they have in common is the kids of the same age, and then you have to talk to some fucking guy.
01:18:05.000 Oh, and they give you ear beatings about their job.
01:18:10.000 Some people are just not interesting.
01:18:11.000 It's unfortunate.
01:18:12.000 Yeah, I mean, you do run into that, where you meet a guy, like I went to a toddler group last week.
01:18:19.000 Now, sometimes I do this, obviously, because I want to hang out with my daughter, but sometimes the material that comes out of going to something like that Is gold.
01:18:29.000 Yeah.
01:18:29.000 Now it's me, 15 women, and a gay guy at this toddler group, right?
01:18:36.000 So, I mean, it's just like, it's almost writing, it like writes itself.
01:18:42.000 Yeah.
01:18:42.000 Although I'm in a circle, sitting Indian style, hell, I mean, it's strange, but man, it's...
01:18:54.000 That's the things I want to do because I feel if I live more of my life, I could draw so much more humor from it.
01:19:04.000 It's two-pronged.
01:19:06.000 I want to hang out with my family and I want to talk to people who are living these life experiences because what I've noticed is I want to keep the same kind of lifestyle I've had when I wasn't successful.
01:19:20.000 Because I feel when you start detaching yourself from the daily routine, let's say even going to Target, if you have somebody go to Target for you, you miss out on what happens on a day-to-day, and I want to still keep that rich and available to me.
01:19:38.000 That's very wise of you.
01:19:39.000 That's very true.
01:19:40.000 That is something that happens when people become more and more famous, especially.
01:19:44.000 They become more reluctant to go places.
01:19:48.000 They don't want to just go to the mall.
01:19:51.000 Sometimes you just got to go to the mall.
01:19:52.000 Yeah.
01:19:53.000 It's good.
01:19:54.000 It's good to be around weirdos.
01:19:55.000 It's good.
01:19:57.000 It is.
01:19:58.000 Well, I think it was you saying that if you were out at a restaurant and somebody comes up to you and asks for a picture, because everybody wants a picture nowadays to prove they met Joe Rogan and what have you.
01:20:10.000 And sometimes it's a little intrusive when you're having dinner with your daughters or your family.
01:20:16.000 I've had people ask me for pictures while my daughter's on my lap and I'm feeding her.
01:20:21.000 Yeah, I had that too.
01:20:22.000 I'm like, look, man, you gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:20:25.000 Yeah.
01:20:27.000 The problem is you take that picture with that guy and then someone says, oh, I want a picture too.
01:20:31.000 And then you get 10 people to get up.
01:20:33.000 That sounds braggy, but it's not.
01:20:35.000 It's just a weird thing that happens with people with phones.
01:20:37.000 Half those people don't even give a fuck about you.
01:20:39.000 They really just want to take a picture with someone that they saw on Fear Factor or whatever.
01:20:44.000 And they just, oh, there he is.
01:20:45.000 Let me take a picture with him.
01:20:46.000 And they come over to your table.
01:20:47.000 And they seem to think that it's part of the job.
01:20:51.000 That every time you're in public, you have to be available to them.
01:20:54.000 It's a very weird rule that people have decided.
01:20:57.000 Some fairly ignorant people have decided.
01:21:00.000 So that's why they would think that even with my daughter on my lap, and I'm literally, I was literally putting food into her mouth, and a guy was like, hey man, can I get a picture?
01:21:10.000 This is not a good time.
01:21:12.000 This is not a smart thing to ask.
01:21:15.000 And it's why certain people are reluctant to go out in the first place.
01:21:19.000 Why they're reluctant to go out in public.
01:21:21.000 But do you feel an obligation at all to your fan base to make yourself available to them if...
01:21:30.000 If I'm not with my kids, yeah.
01:21:32.000 Yeah, so do you generally turn down any photos or autographs?
01:21:36.000 It has to be an extenuating circumstance for me to say no.
01:21:39.000 There has to be something wrong.
01:21:40.000 Like if someone, you know, if someone is somewhere where they're not supposed to be, you know, like I had a guy come backstage at the comedy store, made it backstage all the way to the back, and he's talking, and I'm like, I was asking the other comments,
01:21:56.000 do you know this guy?
01:21:57.000 Do you know this guy?
01:21:57.000 Who is this guy?
01:21:58.000 I go, who are you, man?
01:22:00.000 And he's like, oh, I'm friends with this guy.
01:22:03.000 I go, so you just walked back here?
01:22:04.000 I'm like, you gotta get the fuck out of here.
01:22:06.000 Like, get out of here, man.
01:22:07.000 And then the security comes and kicks the guy out.
01:22:10.000 I'm like, what is happening here?
01:22:11.000 Like, there's no security here?
01:22:12.000 Like, that guy didn't ask for a photo, but if he did, I'd probably take a picture with that motherfucker, but I'd probably take a picture with him out there.
01:22:20.000 You know, it's...
01:22:23.000 If you're in a rush, if you're trying to go somewhere and you're literally running and someone wants to pull their phone out, sometimes you can't.
01:22:29.000 But most of the time.
01:22:30.000 If I'm by myself, I'm very approachable.
01:22:32.000 It's just family stuff.
01:22:34.000 It's just like my kids don't like it.
01:22:36.000 Especially my youngest daughter.
01:22:37.000 She does not like it.
01:22:38.000 She gets angry.
01:22:39.000 She squeezes my hand.
01:22:41.000 Because people ignore her and they just start talking to me and she's just standing there.
01:22:44.000 And eight-year-olds have zero patience.
01:22:46.000 Mm-hmm.
01:22:46.000 She's sitting there going, boring!
01:22:49.000 She doesn't give a fuck if they know me.
01:22:51.000 To her, I'm just dad.
01:22:53.000 It doesn't matter if I'm famous.
01:22:54.000 It doesn't mean anything to her.
01:22:56.000 What it means to her is when she's with me, she likes attention.
01:22:59.000 She wants me to talk to her about stuff.
01:23:01.000 We have a nice little relationship.
01:23:03.000 I love having little people.
01:23:05.000 It's fun.
01:23:06.000 It's for people that are single...
01:23:10.000 And I think it all depends on where you are in life and how reflective you are about it.
01:23:15.000 For people that are single, they look at it, and I know I did, they look at it as a potential burden.
01:23:20.000 Because when I was a kid, I thought of myself as a burden.
01:23:23.000 So I think of other children as a burden.
01:23:26.000 But then you have them yourself and the love that you have for them is indescribable.
01:23:31.000 It's this crazy feeling that you didn't even know was in the menu before.
01:23:38.000 And then all of a sudden you have this crazy feeling to this little person.
01:23:41.000 It's your favorite thing to do.
01:23:43.000 Yeah, it is amazing.
01:23:44.000 And to echo those thoughts, I wasn't a big kid guy.
01:23:48.000 I was like, I don't really need kids.
01:23:51.000 But then you have them, and you're like, man, what a missing this would be if you go through life and you don't have a child.
01:23:59.000 And I'm not saying you need to have a child to be complete, but for me, man, it's been fantastic.
01:24:08.000 And having a baby boy now coming on the way is...
01:24:13.000 It's great.
01:24:14.000 I mean, it's not a burden.
01:24:15.000 It just adds to your life.
01:24:17.000 Yeah, it's responsibility.
01:24:19.000 It's overwhelming responsibility.
01:24:22.000 Yeah, I mean, it's not about you.
01:24:23.000 It's about them.
01:24:24.000 And, you know, you have to have a sense of, I don't know, you got to give them the time they need in order for them to succeed in life.
01:24:37.000 Yeah.
01:24:38.000 My parents gave me a lot of attention.
01:24:41.000 My dad was the type of guy that was not really around because he was working, and my mom was kind of managing the house.
01:24:48.000 But over the course of time, my father and I have become best friends.
01:24:54.000 He's a huge critic of what I do for a living.
01:24:57.000 I don't know if you have parents that are heavily involved in your career, but man, my father...
01:25:04.000 He's taking notes at the show.
01:25:08.000 So he's one of these guys.
01:25:10.000 He'll tell me if I suck.
01:25:13.000 I mean, it's good.
01:25:15.000 It keeps me level-headed.
01:25:16.000 I have a family that is very, very honest, and they don't pull any punches.
01:25:22.000 You know, people confuse that with being cruel.
01:25:26.000 What, honesty?
01:25:27.000 Yeah.
01:25:28.000 Listen, my father and my relationship with my father has been, and I had to tell him, I said, Dad, could you come to just be a fan and not like a father?
01:25:41.000 Just enjoy the show.
01:25:42.000 You don't have to critique it, which he has backed off, but I know deep down he's dying to tell me something.
01:25:53.000 Dying.
01:25:54.000 I mean, I know when I do something on TV, and if he don't, like, say nothing about it, he don't like it.
01:26:00.000 You know, let's say if he listened to this interview, and then we talk, and he doesn't bring it up, I know he's going to say, you sucked.
01:26:09.000 It's no good.
01:26:11.000 Boring.
01:26:11.000 Boring.
01:26:12.000 Why do people want to listen to you?
01:26:14.000 You know, like, yeah, he'll...
01:26:17.000 He'll give it to me.
01:26:18.000 But that's also why you're so funny, because you grew up with that.
01:26:21.000 That's part of the whole program.
01:26:22.000 Totally.
01:26:23.000 Totally.
01:26:23.000 I mean, I think that's a huge reason why I am the way I am, because I'm kind of honest when I'm talking about comedy on stage.
01:26:32.000 The honesty is, to me, the funniest stuff I got is the truth.
01:26:37.000 And if you don't speak the truth, then I don't think it's particularly funny, at least in my life.
01:26:42.000 But yeah, to come from that...
01:26:45.000 Yeah, it's my sister, my...
01:26:48.000 My wife.
01:26:49.000 You know, they'll tell me.
01:26:50.000 Yeah.
01:26:51.000 Yeah, my wife will tell me, too.
01:26:53.000 My wife's fucking funny.
01:26:54.000 She's hilarious.
01:26:55.000 She says ridiculous shit all the time.
01:26:57.000 And she's getting good at it.
01:26:58.000 Like, she likes to make me laugh.
01:27:00.000 So, like, she'll point at something.
01:27:02.000 She'll, look at this motherfucker.
01:27:03.000 And, like, then we'll both start cracking up.
01:27:05.000 That's huge, too.
01:27:06.000 And she'll tell me, like, you seemed a little off tonight.
01:27:08.000 I'm like, eh.
01:27:09.000 Yeah, it's new shits.
01:27:11.000 Especially when I have new material, man.
01:27:13.000 It's slippery.
01:27:14.000 You know, new material's like, I can't cry.
01:27:17.000 Trying to grab a hold of it.
01:27:19.000 I know something's there, but...
01:27:20.000 And the only thing that makes it better is trial and error.
01:27:23.000 That's the only thing that makes it better.
01:27:25.000 It's the only thing.
01:27:26.000 Just fucking constantly doing sets, you know?
01:27:30.000 I know you're at the store all the time.
01:27:31.000 Are you working other clubs as well around town?
01:27:33.000 No.
01:27:33.000 I just like the story.
01:27:34.000 The motherland.
01:27:54.000 I like doing it there.
01:27:55.000 And I used to bring my wife there when we didn't have a baby.
01:27:58.000 And my wife, I think, and I don't know if your wife has...
01:28:01.000 Do you think your humor has bled into your wife's...
01:28:06.000 Because my wife's looking at the world completely different.
01:28:10.000 Like a comic.
01:28:10.000 Yeah!
01:28:12.000 Yeah, my wife's like a comic.
01:28:13.000 Yeah, she thinks like a comic.
01:28:16.000 It's natural.
01:28:17.000 If you run comics all the time, you think like comics.
01:28:19.000 Like when comics come over the house, she's always fucking with them.
01:28:23.000 It's hilarious.
01:28:24.000 She'll start poking fun in them, and she gets a kick out of it.
01:28:26.000 And when she's with her friends, she's absolutely the one who's always talking shit and making people laugh.
01:28:31.000 That's funny.
01:28:32.000 Yeah.
01:28:33.000 It's the most fun movie.
01:28:36.000 Group of people to be around.
01:28:38.000 When we're all at the store, when we all see each other, I mean, that's one of the things that makes me feel so fortunate is that I have so many friends that are hilarious.
01:28:47.000 Like, when I go there, I see these guys and I know that we're gonna have some fun.
01:28:51.000 We're gonna do sets, but we're also gonna hang out in that back bar and talk shit and laugh a lot.
01:28:58.000 It's a great, friendly environment, you know?
01:29:02.000 And I like to laugh.
01:29:04.000 I love to laugh.
01:29:05.000 So when I go to the comedy store, I don't really...
01:29:08.000 If I'm around comedians, I don't say much.
01:29:11.000 Because I'd rather sit back and enjoy what's happening in front of me than actually be a part of it.
01:29:17.000 Because for me, I make people laugh all the time.
01:29:22.000 And to be around five or six comedians in the parking lot of the comedy store and watch whatever...
01:29:27.000 You go off on a tangent or Callan start doing his thing, I just sit back and enjoy it.
01:29:34.000 I don't like to speak around.
01:29:36.000 I like to go, when I'm in the main room, I like to go into the OR and sit in the back and watch the show sometimes too.
01:29:44.000 When I know I'm not going up at all that night in that room, I like to be an audience member.
01:29:48.000 I still really enjoy that.
01:29:50.000 I still really enjoy just sitting in the back with a drink and just laughing.
01:29:53.000 It's great.
01:29:54.000 It's a great thing to be a part of.
01:29:56.000 You know who's fucking murdering it these days?
01:29:58.000 Neil Brennan.
01:29:59.000 Neil Brennan's on fire right now.
01:30:01.000 He's on fire.
01:30:02.000 He's doing really, really well.
01:30:03.000 I think that's special on Netflix.
01:30:05.000 The three mics has really opened himself up to performing in front of large audiences.
01:30:10.000 And he's always been a real funny cat.
01:30:12.000 Yes.
01:30:14.000 Always been real funny, but he's in a new zone right now.
01:30:16.000 I was watching him the other night in the OR. I was sitting in the back.
01:30:19.000 I'm like, God damn, this new stuff is good.
01:30:22.000 It's such a great hot spot.
01:30:26.000 There's so much good comedy going on in that place, whether it's Santino.
01:30:31.000 Santino's been murdering lately.
01:30:33.000 Hinchcliffe's been killing it.
01:30:34.000 There's just so many good comics there.
01:30:38.000 You feel like it's fuel.
01:30:41.000 It's inspirational.
01:30:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:30:43.000 You walk in and see some guy going up and You're like, man, that's some funny stuff.
01:30:47.000 And you feel inspired to go and go, yeah, I'm going to write something new or what have you.
01:30:53.000 It's nice.
01:30:54.000 It's a nice community to be a part of, that comedy store.
01:30:56.000 It's really helped me over the last 20 years.
01:30:58.000 Yeah, it's very unique, you know.
01:31:00.000 And I showed you that painting that Taylor made that I posted up on Instagram.
01:31:06.000 That's the painting of Mitzi.
01:31:07.000 I think I'm going to put that motherfucker right there.
01:31:09.000 That's nice.
01:31:10.000 Have Mitzi watch over us.
01:31:11.000 Yeah, this whole thing you got going on here, and I don't know if you talk about it much, I don't know if you're private about it, but even being here in this studio is inspiring.
01:31:20.000 When you were showing me what you have and whatnot, I'm like, man...
01:31:23.000 See, I've always looked at people who have things or whether it be if you have a nice home or a nice car or whatever it is, a nice family.
01:31:34.000 I always inspire to do that.
01:31:38.000 I don't begrudge anybody that has a lot.
01:31:41.000 I've always looked at it as I want to be.
01:31:44.000 Where that person is, opposed to, you know, being bitter.
01:31:50.000 Yeah, that's very healthy.
01:31:51.000 Yeah, I mean, man, just having a treadmill, whatever it is, the treadmill you showed me, man, I want to get something like that.
01:32:01.000 I mean, I just always looked, I want to be around people who, you know, are inspiring.
01:32:08.000 Yeah, me too.
01:32:09.000 Yeah, I mean, that's one of the best things about this podcast.
01:32:11.000 I get a chance to talk to really interesting people in all walks of life.
01:32:15.000 And, you know, it's weird.
01:32:17.000 All the worlds mixed together.
01:32:18.000 But all those interesting, inspirational people, it's definitely made me more aware and smarter.
01:32:24.000 100%.
01:32:25.000 Made me more aware of things.
01:32:27.000 Made me reconsider my positions on things.
01:32:29.000 Made me, like we're talking about David Goggins.
01:32:32.000 I mean, I just think about that guy and I want to work out harder.
01:32:34.000 Yeah.
01:32:35.000 I do.
01:32:37.000 There's a part in the book I think he went to support his mother or sister in a race in Las Vegas and then I think he just took off and left.
01:32:46.000 He was there for them.
01:32:48.000 Isn't there a part where he was in dress shoes and he just started running?
01:32:53.000 Yeah.
01:32:54.000 That's him, man.
01:32:55.000 He's a fucking savage.
01:32:57.000 And what's great about him, one of my favorite parts about David Goggins is that he's real honest about who he used to be.
01:33:04.000 That he was like 300 pounds and fat and lazy and he's drinking milkshakes and he just was depressed and couldn't get his shit together and then he hardened himself up through some strange force of will and became that guy.
01:33:17.000 Decided he wanted to become that guy who was, as he puts it, uncommon amongst uncommon men.
01:33:24.000 You know, that he just decided, I'm going to be the motherfucker of motherfuckers.
01:33:27.000 And then he's so much like that when people around him are like, oh, Jesus.
01:33:31.000 Because he's so fucking intense.
01:33:34.000 It's like, you've got to ramp it up, too.
01:33:35.000 Like, I'm not ready for Goggins right now.
01:33:37.000 I was going to do 20 sit-ups and 20 chin-ups and 20 push-ups, and I was going to go home.
01:33:41.000 This motherfucker wants to run till we die.
01:33:43.000 You know, but that's, those people, I don't know how many people Goggins has inspired that listen to this podcast and all of a sudden they're out there hustling.
01:33:52.000 And they're out there doing things on a level that they never did before.
01:33:55.000 And they're putting in that work and exerting themselves in that way.
01:33:59.000 And he rubs some people the wrong way because of that, because he's so aggressive and intense.
01:34:03.000 Some people are just reluctant to be inspired by a guy like that.
01:34:07.000 They're almost like it's too much.
01:34:09.000 Well, he's been there.
01:34:11.000 He's been in the basement of life.
01:34:14.000 I mean, 300 pounds didn't really come from...
01:34:17.000 The father was...
01:34:19.000 And he willed himself out of it.
01:34:22.000 So, I mean, if he could do it, you know, why can't I run another mile and a half?
01:34:26.000 Yeah.
01:34:27.000 There's a video that I listened to from my friend Jocko.
01:34:31.000 Jocko Willink, who's a Navy SEAL commander, and he's got this video.
01:34:34.000 And it just says, it's just, it's, it's, I think it's called Good.
01:34:39.000 Because it's how he looks at everything.
01:34:41.000 Oh, you hurt your ankle.
01:34:41.000 Good.
01:34:42.000 More time to work on other things.
01:34:43.000 You didn't get to promotion.
01:34:45.000 Good.
01:34:45.000 Good.
01:34:46.000 Everything's good.
01:34:47.000 Everything.
01:34:48.000 Good.
01:34:48.000 That's how he looks at things.
01:34:49.000 And I've been running hills, halfway fucking dead, exhausted, can't breathe.
01:34:55.000 Like, oh, your lungs are on fire?
01:34:56.000 Good.
01:34:57.000 You got an opportunity to get in better shape.
01:34:59.000 Good.
01:34:59.000 Keep pushing.
01:35:00.000 This is what it's all about.
01:35:01.000 Good.
01:35:01.000 This is an opportunity to face the intensity of this moment.
01:35:06.000 You gotta play that.
01:35:07.000 Play that video.
01:35:08.000 Play that video.
01:35:08.000 Just to freak Sebastian out.
01:35:11.000 Because this is something I listen to this every three or four months.
01:35:15.000 He would call me up or pull me aside with some major problem, some issue that was going on.
01:35:20.000 And he'd say, boss, we got this and that and the other thing.
01:35:22.000 And I'd look at him and I'd say, good.
01:35:26.000 And finally one day he was telling me about some issue that he was having, some problem.
01:35:30.000 And he said, I already know what you're going to say.
01:35:34.000 I said, well, what am I gonna say?
01:35:36.000 He said, you're gonna say good.
01:35:39.000 He said, that's what you always say.
01:35:41.000 When something is wrong and going bad, you always just look at me and say good.
01:35:48.000 And I said, well, yeah.
01:35:49.000 When things are going bad, there's gonna be some good that's gonna come from it.
01:35:57.000 Didn't get the new high-speed gear we wanted?
01:36:00.000 Good.
01:36:01.000 Didn't get promoted?
01:36:03.000 Good.
01:36:05.000 More time to get better.
01:36:07.000 Oh, mission got cancelled?
01:36:09.000 Good.
01:36:10.000 We can focus on another one.
01:36:11.000 Didn't get funded.
01:36:12.000 Didn't get the job you wanted.
01:36:14.000 Got injured.
01:36:16.000 Sprained my ankle.
01:36:17.000 Got tapped out?
01:36:18.000 Good.
01:36:19.000 Got beat?
01:36:20.000 Good.
01:36:22.000 You learned.
01:36:25.000 Unexpected problems?
01:36:26.000 Good.
01:36:28.000 We have the opportunity to figure out a solution.
01:36:33.000 That's it.
01:36:34.000 When things are going bad, don't get all bummed out, don't get startled, don't get frustrated.
01:36:44.000 If you can say the word good, guess what?
01:36:50.000 It means you're still alive.
01:36:53.000 It means you're still breathing.
01:36:55.000 And if you're still breathing, well now, you still got some fight left in you.
01:37:03.000 So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage, and go out on the attack.
01:37:20.000 Come on.
01:37:21.000 Don't you want to just go run through a fucking wall right now?
01:37:24.000 Hey.
01:37:26.000 Joe.
01:37:29.000 Good.
01:37:30.000 I think of that all the time.
01:37:31.000 That's a legit thing that bounces around in my head when I'm tired, when something's wrong in my life.
01:37:36.000 I think, good, good.
01:37:37.000 Don't be a bitch.
01:37:38.000 Look at this the right way.
01:37:40.000 Look at this the right way.
01:37:42.000 Things are going to go wrong.
01:37:43.000 They always do.
01:37:45.000 If they don't, you're not trying anything unusual.
01:37:49.000 You're not doing anything difficult.
01:37:51.000 You're not stretching yourself out.
01:37:53.000 Yeah, I like looking at videos like that and being introduced to guys like that.
01:37:57.000 I mean, that's how I got introduced to Goggins.
01:37:59.000 Someone played a video of him.
01:38:02.000 There's Dr. Eric Thomas.
01:38:04.000 He's a motivational speaker who I love listening to.
01:38:08.000 I like listening to people who get me motivated.
01:38:11.000 I need that.
01:38:12.000 Yeah.
01:38:12.000 Jocko's got a great podcast, too.
01:38:14.000 That guy's a Navy SEAL? Yeah, he's a motherfucker.
01:38:17.000 He's a very interesting cat, extremely intelligent, but just as manly as they come, you know, and just fucking owns it.
01:38:28.000 And, you know, you see that guy talk.
01:38:31.000 One of the reasons why that's so inspirational is because that's really him.
01:38:35.000 You go to his Instagram every day, there's a photograph of his watch at 4.30 in the morning, because that's when he gets up to train.
01:38:42.000 He trains by himself, and then he'll take a photo of the puddle that's on the ground after he's done, and then he earns the sunrise.
01:38:47.000 So he gets up and he goes to the fucking beach and he sees the sun come up after he's done training.
01:38:53.000 He's a savage.
01:38:55.000 That's a real savage.
01:38:56.000 There's these guys that get up at 4, 4.30 in the morning, and I'm like, what happened to taking a nap?
01:39:03.000 Well, he'll take a nap later.
01:39:04.000 But the point is, he makes himself, like, there's nothing wrong with taking a nap.
01:39:08.000 No, I know, but this is dedication.
01:39:10.000 Look at his whole fucking Instagram.
01:39:12.000 There's pictures of his watch.
01:39:14.000 He's a fucking animal.
01:39:17.000 Oh, man.
01:39:18.000 But he's really doing it, too.
01:39:19.000 He's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, like a very high-level black belt.
01:39:23.000 He's tapped some world-class competitors.
01:39:25.000 And a fucking great guy, too.
01:39:28.000 Cool.
01:39:28.000 I'll definitely check that out.
01:39:29.000 He was a guest on Tim Ferriss' podcast.
01:39:31.000 That's how I heard about him.
01:39:32.000 Then I had him on mine, and me and Tim both convinced him to do his own podcast.
01:39:36.000 Now it's hugely popular.
01:39:38.000 He's got a great book out.
01:39:40.000 What is it?
01:39:41.000 Extreme Ownership.
01:39:43.000 Yeah, he's fantastic.
01:39:45.000 I'll definitely look at them.
01:39:46.000 Yeah.
01:39:46.000 People like that are so important because they give you just that little push.
01:39:50.000 They change the frequency of your brain and get you fired up.
01:39:55.000 You can accomplish a lot of things because of people like that.
01:39:59.000 There's extra gears to be had, extra horsepower to be put to things.
01:40:03.000 Totally.
01:40:05.000 Good.
01:40:05.000 Good.
01:40:06.000 Good.
01:40:08.000 So, now that you've done, you know, four sold-out shows in Madison Square Garden, I mean, this is the fucking pinnacle of any stand-up comics career.
01:40:15.000 There's only a handful of comics that have ever been able to do that.
01:40:18.000 There's like Dice, Louis C.K., there's a few others.
01:40:23.000 I mean, you're in a rare place.
01:40:25.000 Do you have other goals, or are you just working on maintaining and continuing to put on good shows for your fans?
01:40:34.000 That's been the goal.
01:40:35.000 I'm not a goal guy.
01:40:36.000 I don't say, hey, this is my goals this year.
01:40:40.000 I never planned on doing Madison Square Garden.
01:40:43.000 My only goal when I got into this business was to do it for a living.
01:40:46.000 I want to do stand-up comedy for a living.
01:40:48.000 And now wherever it takes me, it takes me.
01:40:51.000 It took me to the garden.
01:40:52.000 I'm not looking at my vision board and going, doing the Vatican next.
01:41:01.000 You don't believe in the secret?
01:41:03.000 No.
01:41:04.000 Wherever this takes me, it takes me.
01:41:07.000 To do the Madison Square Garden was fabulous.
01:41:11.000 It was a great experience.
01:41:12.000 Nothing quite like the rush of going out in front of 18,000 people in the round and having your family witness it.
01:41:21.000 My mother, when she walked into the arena, started crying.
01:41:24.000 She was there when I was doing it.
01:41:26.000 Can you imagine being her?
01:41:27.000 You gave birth to this little tiny baby.
01:41:30.000 Yeah.
01:41:30.000 And this little tiny baby got four sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden.
01:41:34.000 It hit her.
01:41:35.000 It hit her hard.
01:41:36.000 Oh, my God.
01:41:37.000 It must have hit you, too, to see it hit her.
01:41:39.000 Oh, man.
01:41:40.000 Listen, I'm an emotional guy.
01:41:41.000 So to see my...
01:41:43.000 I brought my little baby and Lana on stage for a photo at the end of it.
01:41:48.000 I brought my father on stage.
01:41:49.000 I brought my mother and my sister on stage to share in that moment.
01:41:54.000 So yeah, when my mother walked in an empty arena and saw it, she had flashbacks to in 1998 when I did Zanies and we Had to get friends and family there to fill the audience.
01:42:09.000 And then now she walks in and her son's doing four of these.
01:42:14.000 It was great.
01:42:16.000 I'm so glad my parents were alive to see that.
01:42:20.000 It would have been a shame if they weren't there.
01:42:24.000 Because they've been on this journey.
01:42:26.000 From the beginning.
01:42:27.000 These are parents who, when I told them in 1996 that I was going to go out to Los Angeles to pursue a stand-up career, didn't look at me and go, what are you nuts?
01:42:37.000 They looked at me and go, hey, you know what?
01:42:38.000 If you think you got what it takes, get the hell out there.
01:42:41.000 Don't put yourself a time limit.
01:42:43.000 Some people say, eh, if I don't do it in five years, I'm going to quit or whatever.
01:42:48.000 So when I came out here, it was all in.
01:42:50.000 If I said five years, I wouldn't have been here.
01:42:53.000 I would have been back in Chicago working at Motorola.
01:42:56.000 Who knows?
01:42:58.000 So family's always been really, really key to my success.
01:43:03.000 Having people who are very supportive.
01:43:05.000 And my wife, who's a huge, huge reason I am doing what I'm doing.
01:43:10.000 I mean, you know, to have a wife to deal with the life of a comedian on the road...
01:43:18.000 Away from home a lot and you got to have like a strong strong woman to be in your corner and to put up with that also just to deal with the weirdo a Fucking comics a weird person.
01:43:29.000 Yeah, I mean just to just the mentality of a comedian is tough to be around not tough It's just you know, we're always we're always you know in our own head sometime.
01:43:40.000 So yeah, so To answer your question, where do I go from here?
01:43:45.000 I don't know.
01:43:46.000 I'm enjoying doing some movies.
01:43:48.000 I just started dipping my toe into some of these movies.
01:43:52.000 Green Book, which is out now and nominated for some awards for the Oscars.
01:43:57.000 Happy to be a part of that.
01:44:01.000 I like it.
01:44:02.000 Exercising a different muscle when it comes to acting, but not comedic acting.
01:44:07.000 I like the dramas.
01:44:09.000 How come?
01:44:11.000 I'm a serious guy, generally speaking.
01:44:14.000 I'm not a goofball.
01:44:15.000 I'm not the guy, always the center of attention.
01:44:18.000 That's just not who I am.
01:44:19.000 So I like kind of being serious and acting.
01:44:23.000 Acting in a drama kind of plays to kind of who I am.
01:44:26.000 It's kind of a serious guy.
01:44:29.000 And I like it.
01:44:31.000 I get my fix from doing the stand-up on stage.
01:44:34.000 I don't need to do it in a movie.
01:44:36.000 So I like the challenge, number one.
01:44:39.000 And number two, I just like to do different things, a little bit outside the box.
01:44:47.000 So I like doing this gangster movie coming out with Scorsese.
01:44:51.000 No shit!
01:44:52.000 What is that?
01:44:54.000 It's called...
01:44:55.000 You got to work with Scorsese?
01:44:56.000 Yeah, so it's called The Irishman.
01:44:58.000 Holy shit.
01:44:59.000 The Irishman.
01:45:00.000 What is it about?
01:45:00.000 It's about basically Jimmy Hoffa and how they killed him.
01:45:05.000 Oh, wow.
01:45:05.000 This guy, De Niro, plays the Irishman.
01:45:08.000 Jimmy Hoffa's played by Pacino.
01:45:10.000 Pesci's in the movie.
01:45:12.000 And I play Crazy Joe Gallo.
01:45:15.000 And my first day on the set was with De Niro and Pesci.
01:45:20.000 What?
01:45:21.000 What the fuck was that like?
01:45:23.000 Look at that.
01:45:25.000 I was shitting.
01:45:28.000 Who is that on the left?
01:45:30.000 Pacino.
01:45:31.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:45:32.000 Wow!
01:45:35.000 That's incredible.
01:45:36.000 I mean, maybe it's just that photograph, but that barely looks like him.
01:45:40.000 I know.
01:45:42.000 This is coming out on Netflix.
01:45:44.000 That's crazy how different he looks.
01:45:50.000 Wow!
01:45:50.000 That's a Netflix movie, huh?
01:45:52.000 Yeah.
01:45:53.000 Fucking Netflix, huh?
01:45:54.000 Yeah, it's like a $145 million project.
01:45:58.000 Jesus!
01:46:00.000 It's coming out in October.
01:46:02.000 Dude, what is it like to just be around Scorsese on a movie set and realize you're a fucking actor in a Scorsese movie?
01:46:08.000 That's got to be, I mean, that is about as high level as, it's like either Francis Ford Coppola, Scorsese, there's like a few people that, if you're on a set with them, you know, Kubrick when he was alive, it's like, holy shit!
01:46:22.000 That was a holy shit moment for me.
01:46:24.000 Listen, I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a seasoned actor.
01:46:29.000 And then to get thrown into this group of people and working with them, I mean, I got to tell you, there was a sense of doubt.
01:46:39.000 Sometimes, should I be here?
01:46:43.000 Is this happening?
01:46:45.000 And then to do the scene with De Niro and Pesci, It was almost like after the first scene, I'm like, oh, yeah, I should be here.
01:46:55.000 It's all the anticipation leading up to the moment that is unfamiliar to you.
01:47:02.000 Then once you do it, you feel like, man, that was all in my head.
01:47:08.000 And I made it sound like it was going to be...
01:47:10.000 Because I was thinking the negative, too.
01:47:13.000 I always think, oh, I'm going to screw this up.
01:47:15.000 That's what motivates me.
01:47:16.000 I never look in the positive.
01:47:17.000 I always come from a negative place.
01:47:20.000 But once I did that first scene with them...
01:47:23.000 And these guys were more than helpful working with them.
01:47:29.000 Scorsese, when he came out, it was friendly, nice.
01:47:32.000 It was encouraging to be around that kind of positive energy.
01:47:37.000 Did you have a hard time sleeping the night before?
01:47:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:47:39.000 I didn't sleep, I don't think, for the first week leading up to the scene because I knew it was going to be with De Niro and Pesci.
01:47:47.000 What they did was they took Gotham Comedy Club in New York City and they made it the Copacabana, which I thought was fitting because Gotham Comedy Club is kind of...
01:48:01.000 Love those guys.
01:48:26.000 It's just crazy.
01:48:28.000 Norton's a perfect Rickles.
01:48:30.000 I'm just thinking about that.
01:48:31.000 He's perfect for that.
01:48:32.000 He really did a fantastic job.
01:48:35.000 Really, really did a great job.
01:48:36.000 I mean, even his smile is almost like Rickles-esque.
01:48:39.000 Yeah, they gave him...
01:48:40.000 Look at him!
01:48:41.000 Ah!
01:48:44.000 Oh, that's fantastic.
01:48:45.000 Great casting.
01:48:46.000 Great casting.
01:48:46.000 Wow.
01:48:47.000 I mean, come on.
01:48:48.000 Who the fuck else would be better?
01:48:50.000 You gotta get them fat.
01:48:50.000 Did they fatten them up?
01:48:51.000 Yeah, they fattened them up.
01:48:52.000 Did they give them makeup to fatten up, or did they make them eat?
01:48:55.000 I think they made them bald, and they gave them a fat suit.
01:48:59.000 No shit.
01:49:00.000 Wow.
01:49:02.000 That's amazing.
01:49:04.000 I mean, Jim Norton's a guy I've known for, what, over 20 years?
01:49:06.000 And now I'm sitting there watching him as Don Rickles in a movie.
01:49:11.000 It was just blowing my mind.
01:49:12.000 Just blowing my mind.
01:49:13.000 But this thing is going to be...
01:49:15.000 I can't wait to see it.
01:49:16.000 I didn't see any of the movie, even when I was doing it.
01:49:19.000 I didn't even look at what I was doing.
01:49:21.000 So, yeah, I'm really excited to see what this thing looks like.
01:49:25.000 God damn, that's phenomenal.
01:49:26.000 What a milestone.
01:49:27.000 A movie with De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, a fucking Scorsese film.
01:49:36.000 Harvey Keitel's in it.
01:49:37.000 Holy shit!
01:49:39.000 Bobby Cannavale's in it.
01:49:40.000 Dude, Harvey Keitel.
01:49:42.000 A lot of people never saw The Bad Lieutenant.
01:49:44.000 Have you ever seen The Bad Lieutenant?
01:49:45.000 No, I've never seen it.
01:49:46.000 Oh my god.
01:49:47.000 Look, Harvey Keitel's been amazing in virtually everything he's ever done.
01:49:50.000 But The Bad Lieutenant is one of those movies that's so fucked up and so crazy.
01:49:55.000 It was about a bad cop.
01:49:57.000 Like a fucking really bad cop.
01:49:59.000 Oh, okay.
01:50:00.000 And like completely, totally out of control.
01:50:03.000 But it is one of those movies where after it's over, you know, the credits roll and you're just sitting there trying to catch your breath just going, Jesus Christ, what the fuck did I just watch?
01:50:11.000 There's a...
01:50:11.000 An 80s?
01:50:13.000 I don't remember.
01:50:14.000 Look how jacked he was.
01:50:15.000 It says 93, but they remade it with Nicolas Cage a couple years ago, too.
01:50:18.000 Get the fuck out of here with that one.
01:50:20.000 It's not bad.
01:50:20.000 No!
01:50:21.000 It's not the same, but it's not bad.
01:50:23.000 No!
01:50:24.000 I love Nicolas Cage, but no.
01:50:27.000 You stick to driving that Eleanor Mustang and gone in 60 seconds.
01:50:30.000 You can't be bad lieutenant, you son of a bitch.
01:50:33.000 Not that you're not a great actor, but look, there's certain guys that take over a role, and to do that again, like, here's one.
01:50:42.000 Say if they offered you Taxi Driver.
01:50:44.000 They'd say, hey, we're going to do Taxi Driver again.
01:50:46.000 You'd have to be like, yeah, good luck casting somebody else.
01:50:49.000 Get the fuck away from me with that.
01:50:51.000 You can't be De Niro in Taxi Driver unless you're De Niro.
01:50:56.000 It's impossible.
01:50:56.000 That movie, Cape Fear, another one.
01:50:59.000 By the way, Cape Fear was, I think, someone else was that character before.
01:51:06.000 I think Robert Mitchum, I think, played the same role that De Niro played.
01:51:12.000 But I didn't know that when I saw it.
01:51:13.000 When I saw it, I just thought, it's fucking De Niro.
01:51:16.000 1962. There it is, yeah.
01:51:18.000 But if they tried to do it today, like, get the fuck out of here.
01:51:21.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:51:23.000 You can't, especially Taxi Driver.
01:51:24.000 No, you can't recreate that role with another actor.
01:51:27.000 No, no Bad Lieutenant.
01:51:28.000 Nobody's seen that Nicolas Cage, Bad Lieutenant.
01:51:30.000 Even Nicolas Cage probably didn't watch it.
01:51:33.000 It might have been like a sequel.
01:51:35.000 I don't know if it was a remake because it's called Port of Call.
01:51:37.000 It's got an extension on the end of it.
01:51:39.000 Port of Call, New Orleans.
01:51:40.000 It's called Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, New Orleans.
01:51:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:51:42.000 I heard about that.
01:51:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:51:44.000 That's the Nicolas Cage one?
01:51:46.000 Yeah, 2009. So they tried to piggyback on her or some shit like that.
01:51:49.000 Yeah.
01:51:50.000 But whatever.
01:51:51.000 That Harvey Keitel version is holy shit.
01:51:53.000 But he's great in everything.
01:51:54.000 He's great in Pulp Fiction.
01:51:55.000 He's great in everything.
01:51:57.000 Yeah.
01:51:57.000 No, he's a fantastic actor.
01:51:59.000 And they really...
01:51:59.000 I mean, the people in this movie are...
01:52:01.000 What's it like hanging out with those guys?
01:52:03.000 Listen, Joe, when I went in there, I told myself, I ain't talking to nobody.
01:52:09.000 I'm going to speak.
01:52:11.000 Unspoken to.
01:52:12.000 Unspoken to.
01:52:14.000 There was a part when they were kind of lighting De Niro and I, and we're standing face to face, and he's looking at me, and I'm looking right at him, and I wasn't going to say nothing.
01:52:23.000 And then he comes in on my tie, and he goes, your tie needs to be tightened a little bit, and he cinched my tie.
01:52:33.000 Wow.
01:52:34.000 You straightened out my tie.
01:52:36.000 Wow.
01:52:37.000 Yeah, I had a wig.
01:52:39.000 They put me in a wig.
01:52:40.000 What kind of wig would it look like?
01:52:43.000 Actually, if you type up Sebastian Mascalco Irishman, it should pop up.
01:52:49.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:52:50.000 What is the difference between that and your hair?
01:52:53.000 I'm so confused.
01:52:54.000 Why'd they give you a wig?
01:52:56.000 It's got sideburns.
01:52:58.000 I mean, if you see it in person, you'll understand maybe why I have it.
01:53:02.000 Yeah, it's not that much of a departure from my real hair, but...
01:53:08.000 Did they give you the option to grow inside Burns and you're like, get the fuck out of here?
01:53:11.000 No, they just said, again, I didn't say nothing.
01:53:14.000 They said, you're going to wear a wig.
01:53:15.000 No problem.
01:53:16.000 Whatever you want me to do.
01:53:18.000 Scorsese was like, okay, there's a part where I'm going to go through a window.
01:53:24.000 And he's like, okay, when you go through the window, and I'm like, oh, I'm going through a window?
01:53:28.000 Because I knew there was a stunt guy involved.
01:53:30.000 But he's telling me that I'm going to go through the window, and I wasn't going to say, I don't do windows.
01:53:36.000 You want me to go through a window?
01:53:39.000 I'll go through a window.
01:53:40.000 I'm not going to tell Martin Scorsese, I'm sorry, I need a stunt guy.
01:53:44.000 But then they said, hey, Marty, there is a stunt guy here.
01:53:47.000 He goes, oh, okay.
01:53:48.000 So I was ready to go through the window.
01:53:51.000 I went through a window on news radio.
01:53:53.000 Nick DiPaolo threw me through a window.
01:53:54.000 Is that right?
01:53:54.000 Yeah.
01:53:58.000 It's easy.
01:53:59.000 They're made out of sugar glass.
01:54:00.000 You just go right through it.
01:54:02.000 It's weird.
01:54:03.000 It feels like nothing, like a tissue paper or something.
01:54:05.000 It's very strange.
01:54:07.000 I was like, whatever it takes.
01:54:11.000 Scorsese wants me to go through it.
01:54:12.000 I mean, the guy went through, the stunt double went through, and he cut his hand.
01:54:15.000 Oh, did he really?
01:54:16.000 So I don't know what it was.
01:54:18.000 Oh.
01:54:19.000 If I would have went through the window, Joe, I would have been dead.
01:54:22.000 Scorsese's such a psycho.
01:54:24.000 He might have made the guy go through real glass.
01:54:26.000 You know?
01:54:27.000 He might have been like, this is just not realistic enough.
01:54:30.000 I'll give you 500 extra dollars.
01:54:32.000 The sugar glass, whatever it is, is not going to work.
01:54:35.000 I guess you could probably cut yourself on that sugar glass shit if you landed wrong.
01:54:39.000 I mean, if it was sticking up wrong and you placed your hand funny, it makes sense.
01:54:44.000 You probably could cut yourself a little.
01:54:47.000 But...
01:54:48.000 But yeah, it was exciting.
01:54:50.000 It's been really exciting for me to last three or four years to have these opportunities to do these things.
01:54:58.000 Yeah, it's great.
01:55:00.000 Listen, man, it's been awesome to see because I remember you first starting out at the Comedy Store.
01:55:06.000 I really do.
01:55:07.000 I remember you from the late 90s just trying to get your shit together.
01:55:10.000 We did a lot of shows together, man.
01:55:13.000 And then you really came into your own during the time that I was away.
01:55:19.000 You know, comics always talk.
01:55:21.000 I was hearing from so many people how hard you were killing.
01:55:24.000 So many people were saying you were doing great.
01:55:27.000 You've always been like a real easy guy.
01:55:29.000 Real easy guy to hang out with.
01:55:31.000 Real easy guy to talk to.
01:55:32.000 So to see you blow up like this has been just fucking awesome.
01:55:34.000 Well, I appreciate that, Joe, and we've known each other for a while, and you're right.
01:55:39.000 At the time that you were away from the Comedy Store, I think I kind of found my voice in the beginning there.
01:55:46.000 It was really tough for me to find where...
01:55:50.000 I think I talked about this the last time I was on the cast.
01:55:54.000 I was trying different shirts that come with my nipples hanging out.
01:56:00.000 I had like a leopard shirt.
01:56:02.000 I thought it was cool.
01:56:03.000 As a young comedian, you're trying all these different things out.
01:56:07.000 Well, you were trying it out in the lion's den, too.
01:56:10.000 You know?
01:56:11.000 I mean, you are in the fucking belly of the beast trying out stand-up.
01:56:15.000 It's very hard to do.
01:56:16.000 Yeah.
01:56:17.000 But, no.
01:56:18.000 But I appreciate the support you've given me over the years and having me on the...
01:56:22.000 I don't take this lightly, you know?
01:56:24.000 I mean, when you had this podcast and it became so huge and still is huge to have me on here, you know, I appreciate it because, you know, I don't take anything for granted.
01:56:37.000 Well, I don't take you for getting it either, brother.
01:56:39.000 I really appreciate it, man.
01:56:39.000 You got it, bro.
01:56:40.000 Thank you very much.
01:56:40.000 Thank you.
01:56:41.000 Sebastian Manisalko, ladies and gentlemen.
01:56:44.000 That's it.
01:56:44.000 Goodbye.
01:56:45.000 See ya.