The Joe Rogan Experience - February 28, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1256 - David Lee Roth


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 55 minutes

Words per Minute

154.78632

Word Count

27,165

Sentence Count

3,177

Misogynist Sentences

36


Summary

This week on Intergrid International, we're joined by the one and only Dr. Joe Roth. Joe is a pediatrician in Los Angeles, California, who was born in Indiana and raised in Southern California. He grew up in the streets of Los Angeles in the 60s and 70s, and went on to become one of the most successful doctors in the country. Joe talks about growing up on the mean streets of LA in the 70s and early 80s, how he got his start in medicine, and what it was like growing up as a Japanese-American in the 80s and 90s. We also talk about what it's like to grow up in Japan, and how he was introduced to the martial arts and martial arts arts in general by his father, a doctor in the Japanese medical community. And, of course, we talk about the great outdoors and his love of t-shirts and hoodies. It's a great episode, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed recording it! We'll see you next week with a brand new episode of Intergrid. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share, and Tell a Friend about this podcast on whatever platform you're listening to it on your favorite streaming platform! Thank you for listening and sharing! Timestamps: 4:00 - What's your favorite thing about this episode? 5:30 - What do you think of it? 6: What would you like to see me talk about next? 7: What are you looking for? 8:15 - What is your favorite piece of food? 9:20 - What kind of food do you're eating? 11:40 - What s your favorite meal? 13: What's the best thing you're cooking? 15:00- What's a good day? 16:30- What are your favorite restaurant? 17:15- What is the worst thing you veezer? 18:40- How do you would like to hear me cook? 19: What s a good place to eat in the next episode of a movie? 22:00 23: How do I feel about you're a little bit more? 27:00 -- what do you want me to talk about this one? 26:30 -- how do you feel about it?


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Four, three, two, one.
00:00:11.000 And we're live, Mr. Roth.
00:00:12.000 As live as live we'll ever possibly get on the Intergrid International.
00:00:17.000 Good to see you, man.
00:00:18.000 You really do look great.
00:00:19.000 You look healthy.
00:00:20.000 You look vibrant.
00:00:21.000 You look surprised.
00:00:22.000 No!
00:00:23.000 Don't look so surprised.
00:00:24.000 I haven't been to sleep since the late 80s.
00:00:26.000 I didn't miss a thing, but...
00:00:28.000 I'm a little groggy, but I'm good to go.
00:00:30.000 In my job, you expect dissipation and illness, right?
00:00:34.000 It kind of goes along with, you expect a disintegration in my kind of job.
00:00:40.000 Lemmy from Motorhead style.
00:00:42.000 Do you know the term wabasabi?
00:00:44.000 Do you know what that is?
00:00:45.000 No.
00:00:46.000 Wabasabi is a Japanese term that succinctly put means that which is perfect because it's a little fucked up.
00:00:51.000 Ah, right.
00:00:52.000 Your favorite jeans, very wabasabi.
00:00:54.000 Yeah, it's like a patina on an old car.
00:00:57.000 The guitar player in the Rolling Stones, very wabasabi.
00:01:01.000 Yes, yes, he's very wabasabi.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, and in New York City, for example, the old that starts to fall apart right next to the new, that's part of the beauty there.
00:01:11.000 Your favorite leather jacket is that, and you expect that to increase, but...
00:01:40.000 I don't know.
00:01:42.000 Let me go back.
00:01:43.000 I lived in student housing up until I was just about a teenager.
00:01:46.000 And it was a time when you bought one paintbrush at a time.
00:01:51.000 And most of my values come from that.
00:01:54.000 Public library, I learned to swim, and a public swimming pool.
00:01:57.000 And my dad finished medical school.
00:02:00.000 I happened.
00:02:01.000 I wasn't planned.
00:02:02.000 In the 50s, that happened a lot.
00:02:06.000 And so we had a lot, a lot of patients who were kind of on the periphery of Pasadena, California, which is where we came.
00:02:15.000 I was born in Indiana, lived in Massachusetts.
00:02:18.000 He was a resident.
00:02:19.000 Grew up around the hospitals.
00:02:21.000 Dinner meant going to the hospital, meet dad, you know.
00:02:24.000 And when we came out to LA, the Japanese were kind of peripheral.
00:02:30.000 Spanish-speaking people, curiously enough, you know, the running story was that there were six Spanish-speaking people at UCLA and three of them were in gardening.
00:02:41.000 No, really.
00:02:42.000 Back in the 60s, that was the case.
00:02:44.000 Today, easily, you know, massive amounts of percentages.
00:02:49.000 Okay?
00:02:51.000 It's not the second language.
00:02:53.000 It's kind of the first and a half now.
00:02:55.000 Things have really changed.
00:02:57.000 Right.
00:02:58.000 Yeah.
00:02:58.000 And I grew up in those neighborhoods.
00:03:00.000 Okay.
00:03:01.000 So I can gang sign the whole alphabet.
00:03:03.000 Can you really?
00:03:03.000 Yeah.
00:03:04.000 I have two low riders.
00:03:06.000 Do you really?
00:03:06.000 I've got a 51 Mercury that's chopped, dropped, low and slow.
00:03:10.000 Do you drive it?
00:03:11.000 Oh, yeah.
00:03:12.000 I got a 66 V-Dub Bug with a Chevy engine, a 383 up in the front.
00:03:17.000 Orale!
00:03:17.000 And I can roll my R's.
00:03:19.000 You got to roll your R's.
00:03:21.000 Orale!
00:03:22.000 Orale!
00:03:23.000 What do you drive those things?
00:03:25.000 Well, we drive them all around.
00:03:27.000 Southern California, of course, is different.
00:03:29.000 A lot of you are listening in with five layers and going, hey, I'm not driving anywhere for the next three days according to the weather map.
00:03:38.000 But here, for example, it's t-shirt weather.
00:03:41.000 So the great outdoors means...
00:03:45.000 How's that sound over the headphones?
00:03:47.000 Good.
00:03:47.000 Sounds like an engine.
00:03:49.000 Yep.
00:03:50.000 But the first time we were just playing with a sword there, and that's not a summarized sword.
00:03:57.000 That's like calling a 9mm a police gun.
00:04:00.000 Yeah, it kind of is, because they use, but that's a katana, huh?
00:04:05.000 Right.
00:04:05.000 And we were playing with that a little bit.
00:04:08.000 First time somebody handed me those, we were at the Buddhist temple in Pasadena.
00:04:12.000 You bet I remember, 1965. And there was a demonstration of the Japanese culture.
00:04:19.000 Thank you.
00:04:20.000 Yeah.
00:04:21.000 And a fella came out and demonstrated aito and, you know, the sword arts and stuff.
00:04:27.000 And then he said, I'm going to take somebody from the audience.
00:04:30.000 And my dad pushed me.
00:04:32.000 And I walked out in the middle of that floor and held it.
00:04:35.000 Here, hold that sword.
00:04:37.000 Just like you said.
00:04:38.000 Wow, what is that?
00:04:39.000 A hundred-year-old sword?
00:04:41.000 It's from the 1500s.
00:04:42.000 Wham-o!
00:04:43.000 Muramachi or something like this.
00:04:45.000 First time I held that sword, it was like out of a graphic novel.
00:04:48.000 Lightning.
00:04:51.000 Inazuma.
00:04:52.000 It's Japanese for lightning.
00:04:55.000 Careful what you show your kids, Joe.
00:04:57.000 Well, you went and lived in, like, last time I talked to you, you were living in Japan.
00:05:01.000 Nice.
00:05:01.000 And you were doing kendo over there.
00:05:02.000 Yes.
00:05:03.000 Well, you pitch a ball someday, I'm going to play for the Yankees, Joe.
00:05:07.000 I loves to wrestle and grapple, and someday I'm going to get in the middle of a ring, and Joe Rogan's going to say my name.
00:05:16.000 And I'm working my way up through Ed Parker's American Kempo System, and someday I'm going to J-Pan.
00:05:23.000 And I'm going to learn from the guys who invented this stuff.
00:05:26.000 Now I'm putting on a pork barrel accent to make it entertaining, but I did.
00:05:31.000 And I started exactly like I did in Barham Boulevard, making rock and roll with the Mighty V, Mighty Van Halen in the late 70s, at the Oakwood Garden Apartments.
00:05:44.000 In midtown Tokyo, I did not know a single person.
00:05:48.000 I didn't know a syllable of Japanese.
00:05:50.000 I had no idea where I was.
00:05:53.000 And no, I can't drive on the left side of the street.
00:05:56.000 I barely carry a cell phone.
00:05:57.000 Come on.
00:05:59.000 And I expected a lifetime of adventure.
00:06:03.000 You do all the traveling.
00:06:05.000 Come on.
00:06:05.000 Artist to artist.
00:06:06.000 You're home everywhere now, aren't you?
00:06:08.000 Yeah, in a lot of ways.
00:06:09.000 You are the comfortable one in the room.
00:06:12.000 Especially if there's conflict.
00:06:14.000 Which there always is, and that's what's the most unsettling to the tourists.
00:06:19.000 Travelers, you're at home.
00:06:21.000 When you first start learning Japanese, it comes in three stages.
00:06:25.000 First, you watch kids' shows on television because they pronounce everything and nobody interrupts.
00:06:31.000 Then you watch the news.
00:06:33.000 Everybody speaks with a perfect accent, bigger words, nobody interrupts.
00:06:38.000 And then you start going with me to the movies in the middle of the day on Tuesday in Tokyo at Ginza, and you're the only pale face in the room.
00:06:46.000 It's all in Japanese, and it's the movies.
00:06:50.000 Everybody's interrupting, everybody's shooting, screaming sirens, airplanes going by, and if you can begin to decipher even one character.
00:06:58.000 Then you'll develop yours, maybe.
00:07:00.000 Do you know how to write it?
00:07:02.000 Well, you practice that, certainly.
00:07:05.000 And think of it as cross-training.
00:07:08.000 There are a lot of schools, for example, Hebrew school.
00:07:12.000 You always hear about Hebrew school before you go to Bar Mitzvah class.
00:07:16.000 It's an ancient way of, wait a minute, you've got to develop the side of your brain by correlating designs with language, with meaning that may not actually be in English.
00:07:26.000 Nobody's walking around speaking Hebrew after only four summers of whack.
00:07:31.000 But you develop that side of your brain to where you start to have a capacity to learn in an accelerated way.
00:07:38.000 So all your best musicians speak a couple languages.
00:07:40.000 All your best politicians speak a couple.
00:07:43.000 All your best artists, architects.
00:07:45.000 All your best design folks and stuff.
00:07:48.000 Speak a couple of languages.
00:07:49.000 It's no secret that you develop that side of your brain.
00:07:53.000 If your kids don't speak Spanish, get after it.
00:07:56.000 I've got to learn a language.
00:07:58.000 And it's never too late.
00:07:59.000 You'll see the difference.
00:08:02.000 I did every single day.
00:08:04.000 I called it Roth University in Tokyo.
00:08:07.000 Every morning, two hours, Japanese class, speaking the language.
00:08:13.000 I can get things done for you, but I'm not conversant.
00:08:16.000 You follow?
00:08:18.000 The end result is that it's cross-training.
00:08:22.000 Long-term memory, my short-term memory...
00:08:26.000 It's a little too short.
00:08:27.000 It gets shorter.
00:08:29.000 But you'll see the difference in your ability to remember what you read.
00:08:33.000 You'll start remembering everything you see.
00:08:35.000 Sometimes that's dangerous.
00:08:37.000 Because of the fact that you're learning this new thing.
00:08:39.000 So you're activating this part of your brain.
00:08:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:08:42.000 You'll start it off with little kids in art class, for example, where you take a pencil and you go, this is just a pencil.
00:08:49.000 But what else could it be?
00:08:51.000 Well, in this environment, it's a stick shift.
00:08:53.000 Yeah.
00:08:56.000 No, it's not.
00:08:56.000 It's a Kubotan.
00:08:57.000 He's got Joe's wrist.
00:09:00.000 No, and the little girls go, it's a bow, Dad.
00:09:04.000 Me, I'm a hero.
00:09:05.000 I'll save the day.
00:09:07.000 And you can start to think in those terms using actual language.
00:09:12.000 Movement's the same thing.
00:09:14.000 At this point in your career with jiu-jitsu and grappling, you have a vocabulary that starts to expand, expand by having to learn and challenge and challenge.
00:09:25.000 People marvel at Anthony Bourdain.
00:09:27.000 God bless him.
00:09:29.000 One of his biggest talent was to be at home everywhere.
00:09:32.000 No matter what somebody might say or posture or present, he was able to...
00:09:38.000 Let it go by.
00:09:39.000 Win later.
00:09:40.000 Or no, we'll duke it out right here.
00:09:42.000 And he had the capacity to stay cool in the middle of all of it.
00:09:46.000 So maybe it's stay cool school.
00:09:48.000 What do you think?
00:09:49.000 Well, he just had a fascinating mind for travel and food and culture.
00:09:54.000 And he just wanted to know everything about how these people thought about the world and saw things differently.
00:10:00.000 I kind of feel bad now for people that don't travel.
00:10:03.000 I really do.
00:10:04.000 I just feel like you're missing so much of what a human being is.
00:10:20.000 Yo, you know, somebody could sit with you and get really bored with technical boxing.
00:10:27.000 It might be the best you've ever seen, and it's not a slugfest or a pro, and you have to explain, well, see, some jazz...
00:10:37.000 Some jazz.
00:10:38.000 That's Bitch's Brew!
00:10:39.000 Yeah.
00:10:40.000 Conor McGregor's Bitch's Brew, arguably one of the most several.
00:10:43.000 It's all over the place.
00:10:46.000 And some is very contained, like the disc jockey's voice.
00:10:51.000 Yeah.
00:10:51.000 Some people are very mechanized.
00:10:53.000 The jazz thing is a really good analogy.
00:10:55.000 Because you're either into jazz or you're not into jazz.
00:10:59.000 I like it as background music, but I have a good friend.
00:11:03.000 My friend Alonzo Bowden is a jazz aficionado.
00:11:06.000 He hosts jazz tours and stuff.
00:11:09.000 He's a stand-up comic, so he'll do comedy on these things.
00:11:12.000 He just loves it.
00:11:14.000 He lives for it.
00:11:15.000 Well, I see the look on your face.
00:11:17.000 It's because nobody taught you how to taste beer.
00:11:21.000 Beer works in three parts, and like it says in the Pickwick papers, you don't taste it with a sip.
00:11:26.000 What do you taste it with?
00:11:28.000 You got a gulp.
00:11:29.000 You got a coif.
00:11:30.000 You got something.
00:11:31.000 And when you describe, well, there's the finish to the taste of a Cuban cigar.
00:11:35.000 You mean when it's finished in the air?
00:11:37.000 No.
00:11:39.000 The finish.
00:11:40.000 Okay, somebody explain these things to me.
00:11:43.000 What's the difference between Scotch whiskey and Tennessee bourbon?
00:11:47.000 Well, there's an E in the word.
00:11:49.000 In bourbon whiskey, there's an E, and there is no E in the word.
00:11:53.000 In whiskey for Scotch, okay.
00:11:55.000 That simple sort of starts it.
00:11:57.000 Jazz music.
00:11:59.000 Somebody explains it to you in very simple, digestible, not lofty, necktie terms.
00:12:05.000 You begin to understand a little bit of what's going on.
00:12:10.000 How do you explain it to someone?
00:12:11.000 How would you explain jazz to me?
00:12:13.000 I'll really tighten up for you.
00:12:16.000 Excuse me.
00:12:17.000 At least I got my health going for me.
00:12:21.000 We'll do it in the Beatles style.
00:12:23.000 Here's the best way to go for somebody new and interested.
00:12:26.000 The McCartney note and the Lennon note.
00:12:28.000 The McCartney note is always kind of happy.
00:12:31.000 I've actually bumped into Sir Paul over at Henson Studios, and he's really happy.
00:12:37.000 And his note will go...
00:12:39.000 Hear how pretty that sounds?
00:12:45.000 It sounds pretty.
00:12:46.000 I'll do it again.
00:12:52.000 Lennon, he's the salt and the caramel, baby.
00:12:56.000 There's a darkness.
00:12:58.000 There's an edge.
00:12:58.000 There's a shadow.
00:12:59.000 Listen to the last three notes.
00:13:04.000 The drop-off.
00:13:09.000 And there's a little darkness.
00:13:11.000 Those last three notes is where you get that little bit of pepper and the chocolate.
00:13:16.000 Yeah.
00:13:23.000 And it's a little wistful, it's a little melancholy, and ain't life like that.
00:13:27.000 And when you put them together, it doesn't sound like they do, but if I could, I'd sing both parts and it goes together, and you go, wow, bittersweet.
00:13:37.000 Like my fucking career.
00:13:41.000 Like my last three, and here we go.
00:13:46.000 So you kind of have to listen to jazz like you would taste wine.
00:13:49.000 Okay.
00:13:49.000 The best for this, Thelonious Monk.
00:13:51.000 You know?
00:13:52.000 Same thing.
00:13:53.000 The right hand is Paul, left hand is John, and he's working these things.
00:13:57.000 You can't tell if it's happy or sad.
00:13:59.000 Right.
00:13:59.000 I don't know.
00:14:00.000 How was dinner last night?
00:14:01.000 Same.
00:14:03.000 It is indicative if that's what's around you, because it's not just happy.
00:14:09.000 That's Disney.
00:14:10.000 It's not just sad.
00:14:12.000 Think of somebody who's always tuning his guitar to sad.
00:14:17.000 There are some folks who tune that.
00:14:19.000 Leonard Cohen, who has since passed as well.
00:14:23.000 That sounded more like Bowie.
00:14:25.000 I know what you mean.
00:14:27.000 Got any tattoos?
00:14:28.000 Yeah, two sleeves.
00:14:30.000 Yeah, both my arms.
00:14:31.000 Same here.
00:14:32.000 I rarely show.
00:14:34.000 Yeah.
00:14:34.000 Okay, maybe that's a baby boomer thing.
00:14:37.000 Do you have them from the elbow up?
00:14:38.000 Yeah.
00:14:40.000 This is all Japanese style, right?
00:14:43.000 Traditional tap style?
00:14:44.000 Did you get that done?
00:14:44.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:14:44.000 All my colors were tapped in and in front is Horiyoshi.
00:14:48.000 I have the tuxedo.
00:14:49.000 Damn, you do?
00:14:50.000 Yeah, the whole...
00:14:51.000 Butt cheeks and everything?
00:14:52.000 Yeah, the whole thing.
00:14:53.000 Wow.
00:14:54.000 Interpreter had to sit on me and hold me down.
00:14:57.000 I'm not going to kid you.
00:15:00.000 It was a trial.
00:15:01.000 Yeah, I would imagine.
00:15:02.000 Is it much more painful to do it that way?
00:15:05.000 No.
00:15:07.000 Overall, I think what happens is tattoo, when you get something that stings, you can take it for a while.
00:15:15.000 It's the distance that counts.
00:15:18.000 You can take the cold for 30 seconds.
00:15:20.000 You can take a measurable cold.
00:15:21.000 Are you doing the cryo dunk?
00:15:23.000 Yeah, I do that stuff.
00:15:24.000 Okay, boom.
00:15:24.000 You can take anything for 30 seconds.
00:15:26.000 You're in showbiz.
00:15:34.000 But man, try holding that out in front of you for 15 seconds, kind of a thing.
00:15:40.000 Is that your suit?
00:15:41.000 Yeah.
00:15:42.000 Wow, look at that.
00:15:42.000 So there's some photos of it up.
00:15:44.000 Yeah, because you never really do show your tattoos anywhere.
00:15:48.000 No, it's not part of the show.
00:15:50.000 It's not part of, but behind the scenes, my mom, who was an art teacher, The healing, happy side of my family came from my dad.
00:16:02.000 I learned to box from mom.
00:16:04.000 Really?
00:16:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:06.000 Bad Dave, like my sisters call it, comes from Sybil Roth.
00:16:10.000 Okay?
00:16:11.000 Wow.
00:16:11.000 And if you competed for the Magnet, For the refrigerator.
00:16:17.000 Okay?
00:16:18.000 And mom would be doing something and you'd come up with your new drawing and she'd say, should I go get the magnet?
00:16:25.000 And not look at it.
00:16:27.000 Wow.
00:16:28.000 And you would look and go, you're right.
00:16:31.000 Stay here.
00:16:35.000 Yes.
00:16:36.000 I'm not kidding.
00:16:37.000 Harsh.
00:16:37.000 Yeah.
00:16:38.000 And then before you would look at it, go just clean up your paint box.
00:16:42.000 Let me see your brushes.
00:16:46.000 Okay.
00:16:46.000 Discipline in the Roth family.
00:16:48.000 Yes.
00:16:48.000 And when I got my tuxedo, first thing Mom said was, I really like the colors.
00:16:54.000 What do you do when you're outdoors playing ball?
00:16:59.000 Okay.
00:17:00.000 And that's part of what compels what we're doing here.
00:17:04.000 I invented ink.
00:17:05.000 The original, okay?
00:17:07.000 And this is a whole series of things that didn't exist before.
00:17:11.000 So, products to protect your tattoo.
00:17:14.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:15.000 You know, I just, whenever I go anywhere outside, I spray down with sunscreen.
00:17:20.000 And people are like, why are you doing that?
00:17:21.000 And I was like, because I don't want my tattoos to fade away.
00:17:23.000 I have artwork on my body.
00:17:24.000 You have a Rembrandt on your body.
00:17:26.000 It's probably more expensive than the paint job on your car.
00:17:29.000 Driving a Ranger series?
00:17:30.000 Oh, for sure.
00:17:31.000 Yeah.
00:17:32.000 I'm serious.
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:33.000 And you won't think twice about it.
00:17:35.000 Right.
00:17:36.000 Okay?
00:17:36.000 Because it's forever.
00:17:38.000 All right?
00:17:38.000 It's forever.
00:17:41.000 I'm 64. The doctor says 64 is the new 90 for me.
00:17:50.000 Believe it.
00:17:51.000 Take my word for it.
00:17:52.000 I'm a little farther down range than a lot of you.
00:17:54.000 I can tell you what I see from here.
00:17:55.000 You look great.
00:17:56.000 If you wait until you're 55 to start hitting the weight stack, you will look like a 55-year-old who trains three times a week.
00:18:03.000 Right.
00:18:04.000 If you start when you're two digits old...
00:18:09.000 You'll fool them.
00:18:10.000 You'll fool them.
00:18:12.000 And that's kind of the fun.
00:18:14.000 You just got to keep moving.
00:18:15.000 Oh yeah.
00:18:16.000 You start way early.
00:18:17.000 When did you start the tattoos?
00:18:19.000 I got my first one in 1977. Came back from a delirious trip to the West Indies and a handful of folks that were camping out on the beach.
00:18:36.000 I'm a combat hippie.
00:18:37.000 Peace, love, and heavy weapons.
00:18:40.000 In case they want to feel the love.
00:18:43.000 And camping commune style somewhere in the...
00:18:46.000 It was in Martinique, the West Indies.
00:18:48.000 And we all came back and got a seahorse on the ankle.
00:18:52.000 Oh, boy.
00:18:52.000 How feminine.
00:18:54.000 Yeah.
00:18:54.000 And then, from there, I waited.
00:18:59.000 Today, what's popular, for example, Hispanic style, you use a badge as placas.
00:19:07.000 You document something.
00:19:08.000 Here's a name.
00:19:10.000 Here's something we got when we went on spring break.
00:19:12.000 Here's something when we got married.
00:19:14.000 You build like a mural.
00:19:16.000 And I waited to do the whole thing in one sweep, you know, thinking in terms of planning.
00:19:22.000 So I waited until, you know, I was well past that.
00:19:25.000 I was celebrating my 60th birthday, but I got about 300 hours.
00:19:30.000 Ian on it.
00:19:31.000 And I'm still outdoors.
00:19:34.000 I'm still bouncing around.
00:19:36.000 And there's nothing out there.
00:19:38.000 I've been climbing.
00:19:39.000 I started off at Joshua Tree and climbing out at Tockett's in the 70s.
00:19:45.000 Wasn't Alex Honnold just on the show here?
00:19:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:49.000 Same circuit from Camp 4 to Studio 54. I was in both.
00:19:53.000 I was flavor of the week the first time when Studio 54 was the happeningest.
00:19:58.000 Okay.
00:19:59.000 At the same time, I had just bought a Winnebago that looked like something from Breaking Bad.
00:20:06.000 It's the same Winnebago.
00:20:08.000 I saw it.
00:20:09.000 I used to own that.
00:20:10.000 That was for nothing but going to Yosemite.
00:20:12.000 Really?
00:20:13.000 You know how Al in the documentary is living in his van?
00:20:16.000 Mm-hmm.
00:20:18.000 Part of me always looks back at that.
00:20:20.000 It's, wow, sleeping in the back of Bobby Hatch's pickup truck parked out in the middle of nowhere in Joshua Tree, 1973. And you would be climbing even back then?
00:20:31.000 Oh, yeah.
00:20:31.000 What kind of equipment did you guys use back then?
00:20:33.000 The same stuff they use today?
00:20:35.000 No, nothing like it.
00:20:36.000 We used webbing for our harnessing, and you used 11 millimeter kern mantle or manila rope, all right?
00:20:45.000 And I remember the first time, it was in 1972, you'll see his name, John Ball, pioneering a lot of the routes in Joshua Tree.
00:20:57.000 First time we watched him as seniors in high school go flagging, you know, where you pressure with, can you see this on the screen there, where you pull with your hands and push with your feet, go flagging all the way up the corner of a handball court at Muir High School in Pasadena,
00:21:15.000 all the way up to the top, and then stood on the top and looked down, showing incredible.
00:21:21.000 Wow.
00:21:21.000 Well, nine incredible talents.
00:21:24.000 We'd never seen such a thing.
00:21:26.000 And from that point, You know, we just floored it because living up in Yosemite in the various parts was something new.
00:21:37.000 Traveling to Joshua Tree, Tockets, down to the beaches and such.
00:21:42.000 That was a constant for me.
00:21:43.000 I've always tried to follow something as opposed to thinking of it as training.
00:21:49.000 Even the word training tastes like homework.
00:21:53.000 So I've always tried to...
00:21:55.000 I was running.
00:21:57.000 For a long period of time.
00:21:59.000 It was about seven years when I jogged and ran and I decided on the road I'll run across every bridge in America that we tour through.
00:22:07.000 So probably 15, 20 different bridges.
00:22:10.000 Golden Gate, Brooklyn.
00:22:12.000 That's where I ran.
00:22:13.000 Now I did smoke a joint and run the New York City Marathon.
00:22:18.000 And I came in right behind the wheelchairs in the back.
00:22:22.000 Okay.
00:22:23.000 Well, some folks need the ribbon and they need to see the clock and everybody clapping.
00:22:27.000 And then there's some folks, you know, who just, you know, you dig okay.
00:22:31.000 And they had took down the clock, but the line was still there on the cement in Central Park.
00:22:37.000 Hopped over the line, got the picture, airborne.
00:22:41.000 Went home, took a nap, and that night I went out and got drunk on tequila.
00:22:45.000 How long did it take you to finish the marathon?
00:22:46.000 About five and a half hours.
00:22:48.000 That's not bad.
00:22:48.000 That's very good.
00:22:49.000 It's better than Burt Kreischer.
00:22:50.000 No, come on.
00:22:51.000 Let's be complimentary.
00:22:52.000 It's the worst!
00:22:53.000 It's definitely not the worst.
00:22:55.000 Yes, that's about the absolute worst.
00:22:58.000 What's the winner due at hour 20?
00:22:59.000 I think they get it in around two hours.
00:23:02.000 Yeah, like two hours and seven seconds or so.
00:23:06.000 I think they're trying to break two hours.
00:23:07.000 Isn't that what's going on?
00:23:08.000 Yeah, someone's trying to break two hours.
00:23:10.000 But that's what I did for a period of time.
00:23:16.000 Kayaking.
00:23:17.000 So you've just always been involved in physical activities that were fun.
00:23:21.000 In the early 90s, kayaking was illegal in Manhattan.
00:23:25.000 Because it was dirty water and people would get trundled all over under the ferry boats.
00:23:31.000 Oh, God.
00:23:31.000 So what we did is we cut a hole in the fence next to the 14th Street Sanitation Department over by the...
00:23:41.000 West Side Highway.
00:23:42.000 You all know what I'm talking about if you're from there.
00:23:44.000 And we did it exactly like movie style, like Great Escape, where we fitted the fence back with duct tape, and we would drag our kayaks from Union Square West all the way down 14th Street.
00:23:57.000 And you pick up your provisions for it.
00:24:00.000 You've got to get your bagels.
00:24:02.000 You've got to get something to drink.
00:24:07.000 Get some Gatorade.
00:24:09.000 Not to drink the Gatorade, so you have something to whiz in.
00:24:12.000 Serious.
00:24:14.000 And...
00:24:15.000 We'd get the girlfriends, okay, to wait up.
00:24:18.000 It's in the meatpacking district right there.
00:24:20.000 It's dead silent.
00:24:20.000 It was a ghost town then.
00:24:21.000 It was not hip-hop.
00:24:22.000 It was not going, which is what it's doing now.
00:24:26.000 You know, you go to shopping with your old lady at Stella McCartney down there.
00:24:30.000 Now it's a ghost town then.
00:24:32.000 It was great, scary, dangerous.
00:24:34.000 And one girlfriend, I've got to be careful of names.
00:24:38.000 They're all married now.
00:24:42.000 How'd you manage to duck it?
00:24:43.000 Mine, Karen, would always go north and wait around, because if the cops come, they would step out, we would see them or whatever, and we would sneak our boats through the hole in the fence.
00:24:55.000 We're good to go.
00:25:17.000 Did you ever dunk in it accidentally?
00:25:20.000 No, not in that river in particular.
00:25:23.000 But we started a number of the trips today.
00:25:28.000 There's probably six different kayak clubs that you can do.
00:25:32.000 Manhattan Kayak Club, Brooklyn, many, many.
00:25:36.000 Now the boomers with senses of humor figured it all out.
00:25:39.000 All right.
00:25:40.000 And we would go, geez, we started trips, we'd go at midnight under the Verrazano Bridge in the winter, all right?
00:25:49.000 And you wear dry suits, something, you know, Long John's inside of a dry suit like this.
00:25:55.000 And don't get me wrong, I would be the DJ. I have a tape player, and I would bungee the tape player like this, and everybody would have...
00:26:06.000 This is primitive times.
00:26:07.000 You know, it's early 90s.
00:26:09.000 And we would have the little microphones and the earpieces that you use on motorcycles back then.
00:26:15.000 So you have communications from boat to boat.
00:26:17.000 Oh, wow.
00:26:18.000 And I would put mine on the tape player, and I'd be the DJ. Oh, yeah.
00:26:24.000 And we'd listen to the ballgame late at night sometimes, and you'd hear laughing.
00:26:27.000 Oh, you couldn't see anybody in the swells.
00:26:29.000 And we'd go under the same bridge that John Travolta sits and looks at with the girlfriend in Saturday Night Fever.
00:26:36.000 Same bridge, you know, that Woody Allen in Manhattan looks at.
00:26:40.000 You know, you ever wonder what's on the other side?
00:26:42.000 It's a terrible imitation of either of them.
00:26:45.000 And we'd float under there, full moon, midnight, February, snow drifting, like this.
00:26:52.000 And since it was illegal to do it, we had a buddy who owned a plumbing company in Brooklyn.
00:26:58.000 And he would bring his truck and park it right off of Coney Island near Stilwell Avenue where the Ferris wheel is.
00:27:04.000 And he would blink his lights, Allied Forces style.
00:27:08.000 Blink, blink.
00:27:09.000 Like that.
00:27:10.000 And we'd be about a quarter mile off, having come from under the Verrazano Bridge.
00:27:14.000 No wonder we'd see those lights blink, nowhere to turn left.
00:27:18.000 Do you even want to hear this?
00:27:20.000 Yes!
00:27:22.000 And, okay, we'd have to make the left, and we'd wait for the swells.
00:27:27.000 He'd give us another blink when all was clear.
00:27:30.000 And just beat ass!
00:27:32.000 All that quarter mile of row, row, row, catch the wave, get out of the boat, you know, silently drag it all the way up the beach, okay, like you see in every war movie.
00:27:44.000 Otherwise, it's about a $200 fine or something like this.
00:27:47.000 And we would put the boats, big two-person kayaks, into the back of the plumbing truck and out of the top of it.
00:27:53.000 Drive it back to the coffee shop on Union Square West.
00:27:57.000 It's very well known like that.
00:27:58.000 And get drunk with pretty girls and tell them about adventure stories.
00:28:02.000 And all this was going on while you were, you were air quotes, David Lee Roth.
00:28:07.000 I mean, this is the 90s.
00:28:08.000 You were fucking huge.
00:28:09.000 You're still a rock star.
00:28:11.000 And you're going through polluted water in a fucking kayak, hiding from the cops.
00:28:16.000 With a tape player and some sort of jury-rigged microphone system.
00:28:22.000 Some of the best places that I went rock climbing were on walls of hotels in Europe.
00:28:29.000 We'd toss a rope out the third floor of a bed and breakfast in San Sebastian, Spain, that's covered from flagstone with flagstone from the 1400s like that, and then yo-yo.
00:28:42.000 You know, one guy would stay up, watch TV, and work the belay, and you'd climb up the outside, you know.
00:28:48.000 Jesus Christ.
00:28:49.000 Hardcore jollies.
00:28:50.000 And you were doing this all around the same time?
00:28:52.000 Oh, yeah.
00:28:53.000 I take my bicycles with me.
00:28:55.000 Outdoors is in the blood, you know.
00:28:58.000 It's part of growing up without any real things.
00:29:02.000 My dad was a student.
00:29:03.000 So, take this stick.
00:29:06.000 For you, it'll be a bow.
00:29:08.000 And for me, it'll be a baton.
00:29:09.000 Yeah.
00:29:12.000 When did you start working as an EMT? That was around the same time, wasn't it?
00:29:17.000 EMT was about 12 summers ago for me.
00:29:21.000 I was turning 50. And I started going back to school for outdoor med response, camping, climbing.
00:29:30.000 What is it like when you go to one of those classes and they realize who you are?
00:29:34.000 How weird does it get?
00:29:35.000 Sometimes it can get a little bit uptight because I'm the oldest guy in the room.
00:29:40.000 And I want to clarify something, Joe.
00:29:43.000 When I became an EMT... Shield number 327-466, 47th Precinct.
00:29:50.000 Big shout out to all of you who taught me and tolerated me.
00:29:54.000 Until I became an EMT and put on that uniform, I wasn't somebody.
00:30:00.000 Somebody clean the fucking truck up!
00:30:05.000 Until I put on that uniform, Joe, after training for how many months?
00:30:11.000 It's almost a year for me like this.
00:30:13.000 I wasn't someone.
00:30:15.000 Someone clean up the truck!
00:30:18.000 And that was my job, starting right off.
00:30:21.000 But I was also the somebody who dragged the oxygen box, all 13 floors up in the Edenwald projects, artist to artist.
00:30:33.000 How many times have you driven past something, whether it's a huge building or a teepee?
00:30:39.000 I wonder what's in there.
00:30:42.000 And then you go, I wonder what's in the refrigerator.
00:30:46.000 I wonder what they listen to in there.
00:30:48.000 And I wonder who the they are.
00:30:51.000 I have a fascination for that.
00:30:54.000 My pop had a big sprawling empathy for people.
00:31:01.000 You know, when the fellas started getting AIDS in the early 80s, he started treating them.
00:31:07.000 He's an eye surgeon.
00:31:09.000 And everybody, my sisters and stuff, started saying, but this is a time when you think you can catch that shit from breathing it, popping, whatever.
00:31:16.000 And he turned to me.
00:31:17.000 I'll never forget.
00:31:18.000 He said, I don't get to choose my patients.
00:31:22.000 Well, I don't get to choose my audience.
00:31:26.000 So what was the motivation to start doing that, though?
00:31:29.000 Let's go see what's in their refrigerator, Joe.
00:31:31.000 And you'll walk in first, because you're way stronger than me, in case there's trouble.
00:31:35.000 And you'll go, ambulance!
00:31:38.000 And in case somebody comes at us, you handle it.
00:31:44.000 Oh, I had a mentor named Keisha who had to pile her dreadlocks up so high that it was as long as from her shoulders to the top of her head, her haircut.
00:31:55.000 It was like she put her hat up on top and Keisha walked in that door first, homie.
00:32:03.000 Domestic disputes.
00:32:04.000 She dealt with the guys.
00:32:06.000 You had to be there for domestic disputes?
00:32:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:08.000 Those are the scariest, right?
00:32:10.000 Very.
00:32:11.000 And you get an eye on your audience, stops being audience.
00:32:15.000 Starts being the neighborhood.
00:32:18.000 And pretty soon you live in the neighborhood.
00:32:22.000 I was under the train once in the Fulton Street station talking to a homeless fella.
00:32:28.000 Quick briefing.
00:32:29.000 Act like nothing's wrong.
00:32:30.000 See if you can get him to come out.
00:32:35.000 You hungry?
00:32:37.000 Train breathes, okay?
00:32:39.000 Subway train breathes.
00:32:41.000 It doesn't just sit there silently.
00:32:43.000 It does this!
00:32:46.000 And you gotta go, grilled cheese?
00:32:49.000 Mmm.
00:32:51.000 I'm laughing now, but that's a nervous laugh.
00:32:55.000 And now every one of those folks is in my voice when I sing.
00:32:59.000 Ooh, I like that.
00:33:02.000 I like that thought process.
00:33:04.000 When you decided to do this, was this a conscious effort to try to just enrich your experiences?
00:33:13.000 Cross-training.
00:33:14.000 Cross-training.
00:33:15.000 I'll give it the quick rationale.
00:33:17.000 And I also know it's going to change me.
00:33:19.000 Don't know how, but you got to get in it.
00:33:23.000 And after a certain point in your life, maybe...
00:33:28.000 Go where there is no shallow end.
00:33:30.000 Challenge yourself.
00:33:32.000 Just as I move somewhere that's a foreign language, you can't even read the street signs.
00:33:37.000 In Japan, for example.
00:33:39.000 But, you know, you start off on the bunny slopes.
00:33:44.000 You don't surf 40 footers right away.
00:33:46.000 At first, you've got to move to New York and go through that whole thing of what have I done.
00:33:50.000 So what's the thought process when you're like, I'm going to be an EMT. I'm going to study for a year.
00:33:55.000 I'm going to train.
00:33:55.000 I'm going to go out there and I'm going to actually do it.
00:33:59.000 I... Okay, sometimes when I go for a walk in the city, my plan is to just follow where the sun is beaming.
00:34:07.000 I get to an intersection, the sun is on that far corner.
00:34:10.000 I'll cross over to that, and then I'll look down the block and see where the sun is, and I'll walk down the block and get into that part of the sun.
00:34:17.000 And you do a lot of this by yourself.
00:34:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:20.000 I did the same thing with EMT training.
00:34:23.000 I... Jeez, my dad was a doctor.
00:34:26.000 The first merit badge I got as a Boy Scout was first aid.
00:34:30.000 I was that guy.
00:34:31.000 And I learned that for a skinny guy like me, real power probably came from being cool when everybody else is going, ah, my...
00:34:43.000 Because my dad had to do that.
00:34:45.000 I assisted him in surgeries at a very early age.
00:34:48.000 Did you really?
00:34:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:50.000 And, you know, when stuff that made everybody else like this pop, I have a good ambulance voice.
00:34:56.000 You want to hear it?
00:34:56.000 Let me do that.
00:34:57.000 Okay.
00:35:00.000 You're going to be just fine.
00:35:02.000 Can you imagine, though, being in an ambulance and you look up and it's motherfucking David Lee Roth telling you you're going to be okay?
00:35:07.000 You'd be like, oh, I'm dead.
00:35:08.000 I must be dead.
00:35:10.000 Only twice has that actually happened because I only worked in the hood.
00:35:15.000 I only worked around at night.
00:35:17.000 I only worked, you know, you would never expect to see me.
00:35:20.000 Once was after OzFest, a local football stadium.
00:35:24.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:35:26.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:35:26.000 Some poor kid was, you know, drank too much or whatever, and he was out of sorts.
00:35:33.000 You know, sitting on a corner, somebody phoned him in from the local liquor store.
00:35:37.000 And you could see that this belief in his face, you know, when I leaned over and said to him, you're going to be just fine.
00:35:46.000 Like the lyrics of an Aussie song come to life.
00:35:49.000 I am Iron Man.
00:35:52.000 But beyond that, No.
00:35:55.000 Nobody ever really did.
00:35:57.000 And, you know, Jesus, I weighed 15 more pounds.
00:36:01.000 I was doing the Arnold routine at the weight stack because I was somebody.
00:36:06.000 Well, somebody help me lift this.
00:36:10.000 My forte.
00:36:11.000 I'm not...
00:36:13.000 Pretentious about what my fortes were.
00:36:16.000 So you bulked up for the job?
00:36:18.000 Oh, yeah.
00:36:19.000 And I weighed 15 more pounds.
00:36:21.000 And I lifted, man.
00:36:23.000 I lifted people out of bathtubs.
00:36:26.000 I lifted them out of the ocean.
00:36:28.000 I lifted them out of the projects.
00:36:29.000 I lifted them out of the truck.
00:36:31.000 I lifted them into the other truck because the first truck just broke down in the snow.
00:36:37.000 How long did you do this for?
00:36:38.000 Sorry?
00:36:39.000 How long did you do this for?
00:36:40.000 I reserted once about four and a half summers, four and a half years.
00:36:43.000 Wow.
00:36:44.000 Okay?
00:36:44.000 And I, you know, in between playing and whatever.
00:36:49.000 And again, a big shout out to all my teachers and mentors.
00:36:51.000 Not a day goes by, I don't think about it, and not a day goes by that I don't use some skill, including that You know, that'll level your head a little bit.
00:37:03.000 Somebody go make some coffee, Joe.
00:37:09.000 So you feel like for a guy like you, who is such a gigantic superstar, and you're just touring these huge arenas, and people are freaking out every time they see you, for you, it was maybe a good way to balance things out, too, because you're seeing people in a life or death situation,
00:37:25.000 in dire straits, when they're unhealthy, and they need help, and you're out there in the down and dirty, in the nitty gritty, like, Like you said, trucks breaking down, picking people up out of the bathtubs.
00:37:37.000 Well, a lot of what you just described is the first response team.
00:37:41.000 Yes.
00:37:42.000 We always describe our patients, our friends and clients, okay?
00:37:48.000 But the struggle for our...
00:37:53.000 I'll call it the uniform.
00:37:54.000 Starts with military, police, fire, first response.
00:37:57.000 I'll throw in nursing, emergency room, and those of us with bells and whistles.
00:38:03.000 What you call the ambulance?
00:38:06.000 Et cetera.
00:38:07.000 You see that from the inside out.
00:38:09.000 Yeah.
00:38:10.000 And that really will sharpen your vision.
00:38:14.000 Okay?
00:38:15.000 For example...
00:38:17.000 Right off the bat, I pay 52% in taxes.
00:38:20.000 Just tear my dollar in half.
00:38:22.000 Half for many, many years.
00:38:25.000 I'm all for tripling.
00:38:27.000 Police, fire, medical, paramedic, emergency nursing, etc.
00:38:33.000 Like that.
00:38:33.000 Starting pay should be about $2,500 a week.
00:38:37.000 And on up.
00:38:39.000 I agree with you.
00:38:40.000 I would pay more tax happily.
00:38:42.000 I would too.
00:38:43.000 If that case would be.
00:38:45.000 And we would take what is a very set of very refined sciences and art forms.
00:38:53.000 Everything I just described.
00:38:54.000 I call it the uniform.
00:38:55.000 Because we put on a uniform when we go to work in there like that.
00:39:00.000 It's time to go digital.
00:39:02.000 And you can start making real demands in terms of just the preparation.
00:39:09.000 You follow?
00:39:11.000 Today, being on the beat...
00:39:15.000 Taking care of people, whether you're in first response medical or answering fire calls is on par.
00:39:21.000 These days you have to make the decisions of a SEAL teamer.
00:39:24.000 Where's the same training?
00:39:25.000 Where's the same gear?
00:39:28.000 I was out in Palm Springs at the International School for Tactical Medicine out there.
00:39:34.000 And the fellas, we had game wardens from Alaska.
00:39:37.000 We had heavy rescue from Cleveland.
00:39:39.000 We had all manner of folks.
00:39:42.000 And they all discuss, well, sometimes we have to share one helmet.
00:39:47.000 What?
00:39:48.000 Sometimes we don't have enough guys to do this and that, so we just park the car and let them think there's something.
00:39:54.000 These kinds of stories.
00:39:57.000 And you start paying people what they're worth.
00:40:01.000 And start paying people according to what your expectations, then a lot of things, I don't go political, they're nonsense like Charlottesville and what's happening in a lot of areas around these states.
00:40:13.000 We'll go by the wayside.
00:40:15.000 You move from no qualifications necessary to...
00:40:19.000 Hey man, you guys work just as hard and you endanger yourselves way more than a trial attorney.
00:40:26.000 I personally got out of jury duty recently by saying I didn't want to get out of jury duty.
00:40:32.000 In fact, I raised my hand when the judge says, anybody here think they can do jury duty?
00:40:37.000 You're all trying to get out of it.
00:40:38.000 And I raised my hand.
00:40:40.000 And she said, why?
00:40:41.000 I said, because I now can see that there are neighborhoods where everybody is I know of neighborhoods where everybody's a liar, a cheat, a cripple, and if they're not, they're covering for somebody.
00:40:53.000 And she said, what neighborhood is that?
00:40:55.000 I said, the legal community in Beverly Hills.
00:41:01.000 The bailiff almost dropped his gun.
00:41:04.000 Everybody was laughing.
00:41:06.000 They dismissed me.
00:41:07.000 Too opinionated.
00:41:09.000 Mr. Roth, you've had too much life experience.
00:41:13.000 Don't let the door hit in the ass on the way out.
00:41:15.000 Yep.
00:41:16.000 Have you ever done jury duty?
00:41:18.000 No, I have not.
00:41:21.000 If I did get in there, I'd probably just tell them I think everyone's guilty.
00:41:26.000 Well, you have cop's eyes.
00:41:28.000 It's when you walk into the room and you know everybody's lying.
00:41:32.000 Not really.
00:41:33.000 I mean, I probably should do it soon.
00:41:35.000 Probably a good experience for me.
00:41:36.000 Do they ask you to do it?
00:41:37.000 I'm sure it's happened.
00:41:40.000 I keep showing up.
00:41:42.000 The last time I actually showed up, a fella, I think it was a driver, it was two guys who were being accused of shooting somebody.
00:41:51.000 Walks up, he's, I don't know, he looks faintly Slavic.
00:41:55.000 If you grew up with James Bond movies, everybody.
00:41:58.000 We know who you are.
00:42:01.000 You are very popular in Francesco.
00:42:06.000 Out of a thing.
00:42:07.000 Where are you playing next?
00:42:09.000 You're in Pasadena at the Ice House.
00:42:10.000 I'm always there.
00:42:11.000 Yeah, to the Ice House all the time.
00:42:13.000 Yeah, constantly there.
00:42:14.000 Do you have a vibe about the Ice House?
00:42:17.000 Is there a mojo to it?
00:42:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:42:20.000 Please explain.
00:42:20.000 That's the oldest comedy club in the known universe.
00:42:23.000 That place has been in operation since the 1960s.
00:42:27.000 It was originally an actual ice house where, back before there was refrigeration, they would bring in ice and people would go to buy ice.
00:42:34.000 They'd have a gigantic, you know, freezer-type room that was insulated so it would keep the ice for a long time.
00:42:39.000 Then it became like a variety-type place.
00:42:41.000 And then somewhere in the 60s, it became a comedy club.
00:42:45.000 And it is now the oldest, longest-running comedy club in the world.
00:42:50.000 1973...
00:42:54.000 I was working as a janitor slash tech in surgery at a hospital in Pasadena.
00:43:01.000 This was a night shift.
00:43:04.000 In the early 70s, we did everything.
00:43:06.000 It was the stepping stone to going to medical school.
00:43:09.000 And I was playing acoustic guitar.
00:43:12.000 I still take lessons playing acoustic guitar.
00:43:17.000 And on Sunday nights, audition night, You would sign up for audition at the Ice House.
00:43:24.000 At 6.30, they'd open the window, and you would sign up.
00:43:28.000 So I'd take my dinner break and drive my Opal Cadet station wagon up to the Ice House, get there at about 6.15, wait, they'd pop the window, sign up so that I would be one of the first three to audition after the last act on Sunday night,
00:43:47.000 which would happen right around 10 o'clock.
00:43:50.000 If you weren't one of the first three during audition night, nobody was there and they shut it down.
00:43:56.000 And I would sign up and go back to work.
00:43:58.000 And then come, you know, drive myself back, change out of my hospital stuff, you know, put on the right clothes, put on my jeans or whatever.
00:44:09.000 And I auditioned there probably 15 times.
00:44:13.000 Wow.
00:44:14.000 Bob Stain, who owned and ran the place...
00:44:18.000 It was just a voice over the intercom.
00:44:20.000 It was unforgiving.
00:44:22.000 Bob was a famous non-smiler.
00:44:27.000 What's funny is there's a Bob that owns it now.
00:44:29.000 Bob Fisher.
00:44:30.000 Couldn't be more different.
00:44:32.000 Nicest guy on the planet Earth.
00:44:33.000 Always smiling.
00:44:34.000 Hugging everybody.
00:44:35.000 Super sweetheart of a guy.
00:44:37.000 Okay.
00:44:38.000 Yeah.
00:44:38.000 Well, Bob Stain was a voice over the intercom.
00:44:41.000 He was hardcore, you know.
00:44:43.000 You go, well, here's a little song.
00:44:45.000 And the voice would say, hopefully it's littler than the one preceding it.
00:44:53.000 Yeah.
00:44:53.000 And you worked your chops, according to Bob.
00:44:56.000 He was your...
00:44:58.000 He was your Ike Turner.
00:45:00.000 Oh, boy.
00:45:01.000 Yeah, he was unforgiving.
00:45:03.000 And you learned quick about timing in between, transition, segue.
00:45:08.000 You were allowed to do three songs.
00:45:10.000 And if he felt your song was too long or your riff in between, oh, he called you out.
00:45:15.000 If you didn't like your shoes, he talked about it.
00:45:16.000 You never saw him.
00:45:17.000 You heard it over the PA. Oh, wow.
00:45:20.000 He was in the back.
00:45:21.000 It was quite a ritual.
00:45:22.000 And I learned a tremendous amount about How do you communicate with a crowd?
00:45:28.000 How do you talk to people as one?
00:45:30.000 How do you make eye contact?
00:45:32.000 What, in fact, are the wrong shoes?
00:45:35.000 What are the wrong shoes?
00:45:37.000 Platforms.
00:45:37.000 Oh, yeah, back in the day they were platforms.
00:45:41.000 That's right.
00:45:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:43.000 Okay, David Lee Bowie will be singing us hopefully a shorter song than the last one he sang last Sunday.
00:45:50.000 Are you the same David Lee Bowie?
00:45:51.000 You would hear this over the PA system.
00:45:55.000 When KISS performs today, do they still wear platforms?
00:45:59.000 I think it's in the contract, Joe.
00:46:01.000 It's part of the outfit.
00:46:03.000 McEnroe has to yell, you gotta be fucking kidding!
00:46:07.000 For Kiss, I never thought of that.
00:46:09.000 They might be the last band that's wearing platforms.
00:46:13.000 Wow.
00:46:14.000 Everybody likes to make fun of platforms, bell-bottoms, sideburns.
00:46:18.000 Until they come back around.
00:46:20.000 Oh, there was something there, Sarge.
00:46:24.000 I don't know about platforms on guys, but on the right girl...
00:46:27.000 Yeah, on the right girl it works.
00:46:29.000 Oh, look how you left the head!
00:46:31.000 Yeah, I'm fine with high heels.
00:46:33.000 I like that.
00:46:33.000 Right?
00:46:33.000 Girls in platforms, you know, in the right...
00:46:37.000 Oh, wow, that suggests different time frames, right?
00:46:39.000 That's the 20s, that's the 30s, that could be the 70s, you know?
00:46:43.000 There's something about those Kiss ones, though, that was, like, they're inexorable, right?
00:46:47.000 They're a part of the gig, like, with Gene Simmons.
00:46:50.000 He's got demon boots.
00:46:51.000 Look at that!
00:46:52.000 They're still rocking them!
00:46:53.000 Look at that.
00:46:53.000 Oh, wait.
00:46:54.000 Those are new and improved costumes, too.
00:46:56.000 Yes.
00:46:56.000 Those are digital.
00:46:57.000 They're definitely new and improved.
00:46:59.000 I like the boots.
00:47:00.000 I like it.
00:47:02.000 Man, that has got to be fucking hell on your knees, though.
00:47:04.000 That's got to be hell on your lower back.
00:47:06.000 Everything.
00:47:07.000 Yeah, all of the above.
00:47:08.000 I'm going to leap ahead.
00:47:10.000 But look, Stanley's still in shape.
00:47:13.000 Yeah.
00:47:13.000 Oh, he looks great.
00:47:15.000 He was here a couple years ago.
00:47:16.000 You know, this is where I failed.
00:47:18.000 I should have gone Kiss Blue Man Group years ago.
00:47:22.000 To those of you who are my age, Lassie.
00:47:25.000 There should be four of me.
00:47:26.000 Oh, that's the move, right?
00:47:28.000 Because, yeah.
00:47:30.000 Right, no one can tell.
00:47:31.000 That's the thing.
00:47:32.000 You could replace a lot of those guys.
00:47:34.000 And if you didn't tell anybody...
00:47:36.000 Have you ever heard the Japanese gentleman that does a Steve Perry impression?
00:47:42.000 He's the new lead singer for Journey.
00:47:44.000 Oh, I think he's from Philippines.
00:47:46.000 Oh, is he?
00:47:47.000 He's from Philippines.
00:47:48.000 Either way.
00:47:49.000 Fucking phenomenal.
00:47:50.000 Yeah.
00:47:50.000 The guy sounds exactly like Steve Perry.
00:47:54.000 Alright, well this solicits an interesting subject perhaps, compels it.
00:47:59.000 Are some bands like West Side Story, where you can continually revitalize the production.
00:48:05.000 Right, with different actors.
00:48:07.000 With different actors, okay?
00:48:09.000 A whole lot of Shakespeare going on.
00:48:11.000 Yeah.
00:48:11.000 Okay.
00:48:14.000 But you have to kind of replicate the initial sound, or do you?
00:48:18.000 Because I'm sure all of Beethoven's early orchestras are dead.
00:48:21.000 Let me speak to this, because I don't think you can say this, because this was a part of my youth.
00:48:26.000 Van Halen was a part of my youth.
00:48:29.000 I mean, we used to do the Van Halen logo on our notebooks in high school, along with the Rolling Stones, like the mouth and, you know, all the Kiss logo.
00:48:39.000 When it switched over to Sammy Hagar, it became a different thing.
00:48:44.000 It was a different thing.
00:48:45.000 It's a whole different pivot.
00:48:46.000 I mean, it wasn't a bad thing.
00:48:48.000 No, no.
00:48:49.000 It was a different thing.
00:48:50.000 All of Sam's lyrics contain love.
00:48:53.000 Yes.
00:48:54.000 Okay?
00:48:54.000 Why can't this be love?
00:48:55.000 And I ain't talking about love.
00:48:59.000 We'll be right back with more fighting after this.
00:49:03.000 Come on.
00:49:04.000 Who do I jog with?
00:49:05.000 I don't.
00:49:06.000 I run.
00:49:07.000 Who's my running partner?
00:49:10.000 Yeah, running with the devil.
00:49:11.000 Hello.
00:49:12.000 Okay, you want to keep going?
00:49:13.000 Yeah, keep going.
00:49:14.000 Okay, should I jump?
00:49:14.000 Should I jump?
00:49:15.000 Jump.
00:49:15.000 Might as well jump.
00:49:16.000 Thank you.
00:49:22.000 Yeah, I mean, come on.
00:49:25.000 Questions and love are a great, classically, that's Sinatra.
00:49:31.000 But I'm not well adjusted.
00:49:35.000 Nobody in my job ever was, much less kept it this long.
00:49:38.000 And I faced it, embraced it.
00:49:41.000 Like Brazilian Storm.
00:49:43.000 Put a choke to it.
00:49:44.000 No, it's all right there in the lyrics.
00:49:46.000 Even using what are considered classic music parlor tricks, taking a very sad lyric and positioning it against a very happy piece of music.
00:49:56.000 The music is romping.
00:49:58.000 It's heavy metal rumba.
00:50:03.000 And the lyric is, she's crying.
00:50:06.000 Yeah, Jamie's crying.
00:50:09.000 You didn't notice that.
00:50:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:50:13.000 There's a sense of larceny.
00:50:16.000 There's chaos to it.
00:50:17.000 In the lyric.
00:50:18.000 There's a sense of it's music for after midnight when we're all guilty, Joe.
00:50:25.000 Yeah.
00:50:26.000 Whereas, again, nothing wrong with the Sammy Hagar thing, but it moved into a mall crowd.
00:50:31.000 It was a different sort of a vibe.
00:50:33.000 It was a good vibe for a lot of folks, but it was a different vibe.
00:50:38.000 I mean, I don't have anything against Sammy Hagar.
00:50:40.000 I think he's wonderful.
00:50:41.000 I always loved that song, Can't Drive 55. He's got some great shit.
00:50:44.000 But I never listened to the Van Halen with Van Hagar.
00:50:48.000 I just didn't listen to it.
00:50:49.000 To me, it was the end of an era for me.
00:50:51.000 It's two different folks.
00:50:53.000 I wanted to be the art project, not just wear one.
00:50:58.000 So by placing everything we've discussed, if you think of it as cross-training, that's a great rationale.
00:51:05.000 Why'd you do that?
00:51:07.000 And then you did this.
00:51:08.000 Why?
00:51:09.000 It's cross-training.
00:51:09.000 It's going to re-inform your sound.
00:51:11.000 It's going to re-inform the way you, your stagecraft.
00:51:15.000 How you even walk out on stage.
00:51:17.000 Your choice of what to wear.
00:51:19.000 And your sense of humor, especially.
00:51:22.000 Well, that's a great way to look at what you were talking about with the West Side Story analogy, because it kind of went on, but it kind of didn't.
00:51:31.000 It's like if you took West Side Story and then you changed the story.
00:51:34.000 You can't change the story, but you can change the voices.
00:51:37.000 Yeah, but it would be a different story.
00:51:41.000 Like, the Van Halen story became a different story.
00:51:44.000 Alright, here I'll venture this.
00:51:45.000 Okay.
00:51:46.000 One of my favorite freeze-dried bands in history is Toto.
00:51:51.000 Why freeze-dried?
00:51:52.000 Well, all freeze-dried coffee looks the same.
00:51:55.000 Oh, okay.
00:51:56.000 And it's great.
00:51:58.000 Okay.
00:51:59.000 I've been camping, and man, there's nothing better than just a cup of fresh freeze dried in the wrongest places.
00:52:05.000 That's fun.
00:52:06.000 Some context, it's the best thing you could ever have.
00:52:09.000 That Africa song is a good song.
00:52:10.000 It's an amazing song.
00:52:12.000 It's an amazing song.
00:52:12.000 No, that's Smithsonian level.
00:52:13.000 Yes.
00:52:14.000 Song.
00:52:15.000 Yes.
00:52:15.000 Okay, Rosanna and so forth.
00:52:17.000 Oh, yeah, Rosanna.
00:52:17.000 Toto's amazing.
00:52:18.000 Any of the fellas could walk up to me, and I wouldn't recognize them.
00:52:22.000 No.
00:52:22.000 You know what I said?
00:52:23.000 I would not recognize them.
00:52:24.000 You know what I would say is the greatest genius in all of music in that regard?
00:52:28.000 Steve Miller.
00:52:29.000 Nobody knows who the fuck Steve Miller is.
00:52:31.000 Steve Miller could go anywhere.
00:52:33.000 Yeah, but I mean, he had some jamming songs.
00:52:35.000 Everybody knows those songs.
00:52:36.000 If you even start to play...
00:52:41.000 Do-do-do-do-do.
00:52:42.000 Yeah.
00:52:43.000 Do-do-do-do-do.
00:52:44.000 And everybody goes, getting ready to sing.
00:52:46.000 Yeah.
00:52:47.000 Jungle Love.
00:52:48.000 I mean, god damn, he had some jams.
00:52:50.000 And that guy could go anywhere.
00:52:51.000 And then there are artists...
00:52:54.000 Yes.
00:52:56.000 Right.
00:53:16.000 I would recognize the guitar player, but that's just because I listen to that part of the band.
00:53:23.000 My favorite part of the orchestra is the gong.
00:53:27.000 I just want to clarify that.
00:53:30.000 But Steve Perry, who sang for Journey, was not so much a personality as an eloquent sound.
00:53:38.000 Yes.
00:53:39.000 So it's a universal sound, and if you even get close to it, It is part of every prom, every wedding, every going in and coming out party, okay?
00:53:52.000 If you're going into the army, that's the last song the band's going to play.
00:53:57.000 You're coming out of jail.
00:53:59.000 Your girlfriend's going to play it well.
00:54:02.000 Throw your bag to the side and run.
00:54:04.000 You've seen the movie?
00:54:05.000 Yes.
00:54:05.000 Okay.
00:54:06.000 Even Tony Soprano.
00:54:07.000 We're not sure what happened, but it happened to Journey.
00:54:09.000 Yes.
00:54:10.000 True.
00:54:10.000 That's right.
00:54:12.000 That's right.
00:54:13.000 Okay.
00:54:13.000 That's very significant.
00:54:15.000 You can't play a David Lee Roth song.
00:54:18.000 And still worry about Tony Soprano.
00:54:20.000 Right.
00:54:21.000 That's true.
00:54:22.000 Half of your mind is going to go, wait a minute, the Lone Ranger just walked into the same diner that Tony is in.
00:54:29.000 It's why I have no acting career.
00:54:32.000 I'm already a character.
00:54:35.000 Lone Ranger sits down next to you and says, Joe, there's a forest.
00:54:39.000 It's a dark forest.
00:54:41.000 You're not getting lost in any story.
00:54:43.000 You're sitting here like, that's the fucking Lone Ranger.
00:54:45.000 LAUGHTER Right, right, right.
00:54:50.000 Right.
00:54:51.000 A good actor will sit down and go, a dark forest.
00:54:54.000 And you're going, I'm fucking scared.
00:54:55.000 Right, right, right.
00:54:57.000 Some people can become that other person.
00:54:59.000 Oh, yeah.
00:55:00.000 And then some people are stuck being David Lee Roth forever.
00:55:02.000 Exactly.
00:55:03.000 You know, Denzel walks out in a space suit.
00:55:05.000 He goes, wow, that's an astronaut.
00:55:06.000 He could be anything.
00:55:07.000 Exactly.
00:55:08.000 Even though you know he's Denzel Washington.
00:55:09.000 Think of that.
00:55:10.000 Right.
00:55:10.000 Dave Roth comes in and goes, what's Dave doing in a space suit?
00:55:14.000 Right.
00:55:15.000 Exactly.
00:55:16.000 Yeah.
00:55:16.000 We're not buying it.
00:55:17.000 Yeah.
00:55:18.000 I'm already kind of a cultural whatever.
00:55:23.000 Yeah, you're already a thing.
00:55:24.000 You're already a thing.
00:55:26.000 Yeah.
00:55:27.000 That's really interesting.
00:55:29.000 How there's all these great bands with great sounds and great vibes and they're all different.
00:55:36.000 Well, if you think in terms of the personality, let's think of a band.
00:55:41.000 Oh, I just saw John Mayer.
00:55:43.000 Great show, all right?
00:55:45.000 And when you think of John...
00:55:47.000 You think of who that is in the neighborhood and the vibe and the mood before perhaps you even think of a specific song.
00:55:57.000 As soon as, you know, well, I know his hits, I know his songs, but it was the same thing that the fellas in The Grateful Dead who said, they're identifying that vibe.
00:56:08.000 It's what's more important, the jokes or the person?
00:56:13.000 Mmm.
00:56:14.000 What's more important, you or specific jokes?
00:56:17.000 Because some of your jokes are bound to go flat.
00:56:19.000 I don't care.
00:56:20.000 It's Joe.
00:56:21.000 Yeah, but some of the jokes, the only way they, some of them, the only way they work is with you.
00:56:26.000 Like, there's some people, like Mitch Hedberg is a perfect example.
00:56:29.000 Like, you couldn't separate Mitch Hedberg from the jokes because he was the jokes.
00:56:32.000 He was part of what made it funny.
00:56:35.000 You're right.
00:56:36.000 I ran into Jeffrey Ross the other day, okay?
00:56:39.000 And he did Mike Bumson and Tellin'.
00:56:41.000 Yeah.
00:56:42.000 Who's managing them?
00:56:43.000 That's a movie happening.
00:56:46.000 Those two, right?
00:56:47.000 That's Math Al Lemon, Fortune Cookie.
00:56:49.000 Yes.
00:56:50.000 Okay, that's only a billion dollar fucking franchise.
00:56:53.000 Is Bernie Brillstein still alive?
00:56:54.000 Get after this.
00:56:55.000 I don't think Bernie's alive anymore.
00:56:56.000 You guys need an agent?
00:56:57.000 No, they do.
00:56:58.000 It's stellar!
00:56:59.000 Yes, it is.
00:57:00.000 They were walking around in the park doing warm-up for their routine, you know, and the Netflix special, and I'm going, uh, uh...
00:57:07.000 I expect a clapboard and Woody Allen to walk out and go, I think that's a take.
00:57:12.000 I think, though, that with guys like that, especially those two guys, the best product is them on stage.
00:57:19.000 Yes!
00:57:19.000 And them fucking around.
00:57:20.000 You really don't want to make a movie.
00:57:22.000 You just want to keep doing what they're doing with Netflix.
00:57:23.000 Well, this is the vibe.
00:57:25.000 You have them be...
00:57:27.000 There are some folks like Jason Stratham.
00:57:31.000 He's always the same.
00:57:32.000 He's always the same haircut.
00:57:35.000 He's always Jason.
00:57:36.000 You put Jason in a different time period.
00:57:41.000 Jason in a fast car.
00:57:43.000 Jason on a horse.
00:57:44.000 I don't know.
00:57:45.000 He's always that.
00:57:47.000 And this is what compels me.
00:57:49.000 Some folks are very joke dependent.
00:57:51.000 Now take my wife, please.
00:57:53.000 That kind of thing.
00:57:57.000 Yourself.
00:57:58.000 Is the audience that you see when it's like at the Comedy Club?
00:58:04.000 I've seen you at the Comedy Club.
00:58:06.000 Is the same audience as Fight Night?
00:58:09.000 Sometimes, yeah.
00:58:11.000 Yeah, it's real similar in a weird way.
00:58:13.000 How's weird?
00:58:14.000 I see George Michael eyebrows.
00:58:17.000 Because I'm always trying to figure it out.
00:58:20.000 Yeah, they're real similar, you know?
00:58:22.000 It's a weird crossover.
00:58:24.000 But what makes it weird?
00:58:25.000 Well, it's weird that I do cage-fighting commentary and stand-up comedy in the first place.
00:58:29.000 It's weird that those two things work together.
00:58:31.000 Oh, that doesn't...
00:58:33.000 No, that makes perfect sense.
00:58:34.000 For you.
00:58:35.000 No, but you're a weirdo.
00:58:36.000 I just shared with somebody, I'm funny, not happy.
00:58:40.000 Yes.
00:58:41.000 You're funny.
00:58:41.000 You ain't happy.
00:58:42.000 Interesting.
00:58:43.000 There's a big difference.
00:58:45.000 And the more unhappy you are, the better the funny.
00:58:48.000 Really?
00:58:48.000 You think so?
00:58:49.000 Absolutely.
00:58:50.000 Really?
00:58:50.000 If you know how to channel it.
00:58:53.000 Well, that's certainly the case in some situations.
00:58:56.000 I'm open to all possibilities when it comes to comedy.
00:58:59.000 I know people that are really happy and really funny, and I know people that are really dark and also really funny.
00:59:05.000 Like, I don't know.
00:59:06.000 It's just, it's different.
00:59:07.000 It's different with different people, just like music is different with different bands and different singers.
00:59:13.000 It's just, it either works or it doesn't.
00:59:15.000 It really depends upon how much time and effort you take working on yourself, your act, your perspective, the way you deliver it.
00:59:22.000 We always had to win.
00:59:24.000 In Van Halen, we had no choice.
00:59:26.000 We had to win the battle of the bands.
00:59:28.000 It was competitive.
00:59:29.000 We had to win over the club owner.
00:59:32.000 This was before there were dance systems.
00:59:34.000 Sirwin Vega hadn't figured out those bass bins yet, and you had to have a live band.
00:59:40.000 Five 45-minute sets a night, please.
00:59:41.000 What was your motherfucker closer song where you knew a band couldn't go on after you?
00:59:46.000 LaGrange.
00:59:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:51.000 We were pretty good at anything.
00:59:53.000 We had no development phase.
00:59:56.000 I have tapes of us at the Hilton Hotel in Pasadena in 1973. If I didn't tell you...
01:00:04.000 You know, you would think it was three years ago kind of a sound.
01:00:08.000 There's virtually no development.
01:00:10.000 How'd that happen?
01:00:10.000 How did it work that way?
01:00:12.000 We had classical training, right?
01:00:14.000 And this kind of speaks to what we were discussing earlier in that a lot of my colleagues are having a great time making music and they celebrate and it's the word fun.
01:00:27.000 Comes into it.
01:00:29.000 And we grew up in classical music backgrounds where you had to challenge for first chair saxophone.
01:00:35.000 Every six, eight months, you got to go to the conductor and say, I want first chair.
01:00:39.000 And if you're first chair and he thinks I have a show, he's going to come over and rejoice as Roth's talking about you.
01:00:45.000 Ooh.
01:00:46.000 You both, you both going to play this piece in front of the orchestra next Wednesday.
01:00:50.000 You best practice.
01:00:52.000 Ah.
01:00:53.000 Okay?
01:00:53.000 And we'll both get up and we'll both play 18 bars of the same piece.
01:00:58.000 You dig?
01:00:59.000 Yeah.
01:00:59.000 And there just may be a switch in front of 120 people, all of them colleagues, all right?
01:01:05.000 We learned from in music school, you know, the racy stuff was big band, all right?
01:01:12.000 If you're, in terms of, you know, we played rock and roll in parallel with But Big Band, it's got a square vibe to it because it wound up in elevators and restaurants and whatever.
01:01:24.000 But they had cutting contests, and there was nothing more cutting than Benny Goodman versus Chick Web Big Band at Roseland Ballroom.
01:01:32.000 That shit is on.
01:01:33.000 People would bet on it.
01:01:35.000 They would play the same four songs.
01:01:37.000 You play your version of it, and we'll play ours.
01:01:42.000 Wow!
01:01:42.000 Wow!
01:01:46.000 Yeah.
01:01:47.000 All right.
01:01:48.000 Wow.
01:01:49.000 A throwdown.
01:01:50.000 A big band throwdown.
01:01:51.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:51.000 And it was furious shit, too.
01:01:54.000 You know, it wasn't like friendly.
01:01:56.000 Right, right, right.
01:01:56.000 They were serious.
01:01:57.000 And the dancers would stand in the middle of those sparks, and that's where you get that.
01:02:01.000 Yeah.
01:02:02.000 These postures.
01:02:03.000 That stuff.
01:02:04.000 Like this.
01:02:05.000 Okay?
01:02:06.000 And the dancers were competing.
01:02:08.000 The Lindy Hoppers competing.
01:02:10.000 Wow!
01:02:10.000 Frankie and all these guys throwing.
01:02:14.000 So it was competitive.
01:02:16.000 And we learned that's how you do it.
01:02:19.000 My two mentors in music were first and second chair clarinet and the L.A. Philharmonic.
01:02:29.000 And it comes from that.
01:02:33.000 Also, you know, you have a whole different vibe that I'll take a grateful debt approach, which is the complete opposite of that.
01:02:43.000 Competition, man, leave that at home, bro.
01:02:45.000 Yeah.
01:02:45.000 You know, whoa, we're here to celebrate and so, and I completely understand.
01:02:50.000 That's where I'll go after work.
01:02:53.000 Right.
01:02:54.000 Take my vest off.
01:02:56.000 Right.
01:02:56.000 Put my guns down.
01:02:58.000 They took a totally different turn, right?
01:03:00.000 They said, go ahead, tape all of our shows.
01:03:04.000 Sell food in the parking lot, man.
01:03:06.000 We had to win.
01:03:07.000 Or we didn't eat.
01:03:09.000 Boxing for money is different than boxing for fun.
01:03:12.000 Right, right.
01:03:13.000 Learned that very early.
01:03:15.000 And we learned it through music.
01:03:17.000 Yeah.
01:03:17.000 You know, some of the folks learned it in the ring.
01:03:20.000 Other folks learn it in their first few days in a law firm and they join a team.
01:03:26.000 It's interesting the way you describe it with music because I try to explain that to comedians.
01:03:30.000 I say think about how much time a musician has to spend practicing and how little we spend practicing.
01:03:36.000 Our practice is in front of the audience for the most part.
01:03:40.000 It's a simplified version of the How many hours rule is the 10,000 hour rule?
01:03:50.000 You've heard about this.
01:03:52.000 That's a very simplified version.
01:03:54.000 Okay, that's digestible.
01:03:56.000 10,000 hours, I don't know, you break that down, it'd take six years, maybe, something like this.
01:04:03.000 The true Asian paradigm is 10 hours a day, every single day for 10 years.
01:04:12.000 If you have a little kid and he's got to have heart surgery...
01:04:17.000 You want that guy.
01:04:18.000 Right.
01:04:19.000 It's right around 30,000 hours.
01:04:22.000 If you're going to go flying in a helicopter over New York City, you want Captain Pauly Trimontata.
01:04:28.000 It's about 40,000 hours.
01:04:30.000 Okay.
01:04:33.000 My dentist, Dr. Glassman, who teaches, is a 40,000 hour man.
01:04:39.000 Okay.
01:04:40.000 Okay.
01:04:41.000 So if you ever crash or get pelted, give me a call.
01:04:48.000 I will hook you up.
01:04:51.000 It's about 30,000 hours.
01:04:53.000 And that's 10 hours a day, every single day, for 10 years.
01:04:57.000 And that's what creates a jet pilot, a great surgeon, a great writer.
01:05:06.000 Anything in the arts and lives.
01:05:08.000 That's the architect.
01:05:10.000 Unless you're a prodigy, and if you bungle that in typing, it's tragedy very easily.
01:05:17.000 Yeah, prodigies and tragedies often go hand in hand.
01:05:20.000 There's something about people that get things very easily that for whatever reason it slips through their fingers more quickly as well.
01:05:26.000 When my sister, my dad was an eye surgeon, did well, and when my sisters wanted to go to college, he said, I think that's a great idea and made her pay for it.
01:05:40.000 Oh.
01:05:40.000 Yeah.
01:05:41.000 She wouldn't value it if she didn't pay for it herself.
01:05:44.000 That's probably right.
01:05:45.000 I signed my first contract when I was 13. $150 stereo and three records.
01:05:53.000 I worked all summer shoveling shit at the local horse stable.
01:05:56.000 That's where I learned Spanish.
01:05:59.000 I don't know that you got to do that.
01:06:03.000 You learn the same thing from sports, right?
01:06:05.000 Yeah.
01:06:05.000 Your kids do sports?
01:06:07.000 Yeah.
01:06:07.000 Which ones?
01:06:09.000 Martial arts, and one of them's really into gymnastics.
01:06:12.000 Yeah?
01:06:13.000 Yeah.
01:06:13.000 Are they competitive in it, or do they enjoy themselves?
01:06:17.000 Are they on team, like they're on tournaments?
01:06:21.000 Yeah.
01:06:22.000 And is that something that...
01:06:27.000 I'll back up.
01:06:28.000 I'm leading up to something.
01:06:29.000 Can you guess?
01:06:29.000 Yeah, I can.
01:06:30.000 I think you always are.
01:06:31.000 Folks are starting to recognize certain traits in me.
01:06:37.000 As in, I really like the getting ready more than the actual show.
01:06:42.000 Really?
01:06:42.000 The actual show.
01:06:44.000 I'm making fun here.
01:06:46.000 I'm being poetic.
01:06:47.000 The monitor blows.
01:06:48.000 The guitar player's pissed.
01:06:51.000 The spotlight's on the wrong guy.
01:06:54.000 I have a cold.
01:06:56.000 But that six weeks leading up to it, huh?
01:06:59.000 Remember the rehearsal we did of this thing?
01:07:01.000 And when we recorded the track over there, remember when we got measured for the shoes?
01:07:06.000 That fucking, oh, it was great!
01:07:08.000 And it's, where did we eat after that?
01:07:10.000 I gotta go back there.
01:07:11.000 And, and, and, and, and.
01:07:13.000 Yeah.
01:07:13.000 I always sought to make those rehearsals and whatever as memorable as possible because you can do a whole lot more at getting ready than you are throwing the punch.
01:07:24.000 Yeah.
01:07:24.000 Ask anybody on one of your shows.
01:07:26.000 Yes, yeah.
01:07:29.000 You have such a great insight for that, though.
01:07:32.000 You know, some people, even if they're aware of it, they're not consciously aware of it.
01:07:37.000 They're not focusing on all these details.
01:07:39.000 The getting ready is as much of a...
01:07:45.000 If the band says they don't like rehearsing, you're doing it wrong.
01:07:50.000 Hey, man, it's like...
01:07:52.000 If you're sitting on your laurels, you're wearing them on the wrong part of your body.
01:08:01.000 First off, where are you rehearsing?
01:08:03.000 As in Miami?
01:08:06.000 No.
01:08:08.000 Where are you training?
01:08:10.000 Hawaii?
01:08:11.000 Cleveland.
01:08:12.000 Okay, let's talk.
01:08:14.000 Because even in Cleveland, you can turn it into your place.
01:08:19.000 Do you follow?
01:08:20.000 What is your routine?
01:08:21.000 What music did you listen to?
01:08:24.000 Do you dig?
01:08:24.000 How did you warm up?
01:08:26.000 Simple, simple things.
01:08:27.000 You know, most people are feared, terrified of singing when they go into singing.
01:08:33.000 I don't care who it is.
01:08:35.000 The first verse is always a little tight and the second verse is a little better.
01:08:39.000 Why?
01:08:40.000 Because they didn't warm up.
01:08:42.000 Right.
01:08:42.000 All right?
01:08:43.000 And the idea of, well, go in and sing along with a dozen of your favorite songs.
01:08:50.000 Put your headgear on.
01:08:52.000 Get the reverb to sound.
01:08:53.000 Now, for me, that starts with Motown.
01:08:56.000 I'm a soul growler.
01:08:58.000 I'm closer to Wilson Pickett than the guy in the Rolling Stones.
01:09:02.000 I don't know what that sounds like on the headphones.
01:09:10.000 I'm going to put the headphones on here.
01:09:12.000 Go ahead.
01:09:12.000 Thank you.
01:09:14.000 Love, love, babe!
01:09:16.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:09:19.000 I started sounding like that when I was 12. I started practicing that when I was 12. I started imitating the persuasions.
01:09:28.000 Jerry Butler, the singer, when I was 13, much to the cantor's chagrin in Hebrew school.
01:09:38.000 Okay, again, parallel existences, you know.
01:09:42.000 I'm Jewish, but we always walked around with little buttons back then that said never again.
01:09:48.000 I'm a combat hippie.
01:09:50.000 Peace, love, and heavy weapons.
01:09:53.000 Some people don't believe.
01:09:54.000 Sometimes you got to get insistent.
01:09:57.000 Did you ever realize while you were in the middle of this, especially in the beginning, the early days, That this was...
01:10:07.000 I mean, you guys had, especially with Van Halen in the early days, you guys had a massive impact on culture.
01:10:14.000 Were you guys aware of that?
01:10:15.000 Like, while it was happening?
01:10:17.000 I mean, when I was in high school, I graduated in 1985, and you guys were the shit.
01:10:23.000 My sister's, rather, boyfriend's license plate was Van Halen.
01:10:30.000 I am the soundtrack to your...
01:10:31.000 Okay, I get this now.
01:10:33.000 Absolutely.
01:10:33.000 I mean, what was that?
01:10:36.000 It was intentional, Joe.
01:10:37.000 It was intentional.
01:10:38.000 I can tell you now.
01:10:40.000 The Van Halens knew it, but can't articulate it.
01:10:43.000 All right, they're instrumentalists.
01:10:45.000 Here comes the funny joke.
01:10:47.000 Words am my thing.
01:10:49.000 If you understood them.
01:10:50.000 Yes.
01:10:50.000 Words am my thing.
01:10:51.000 So you realized it while it was happening?
01:10:53.000 Well.
01:10:55.000 Your endgame depends on how you started.
01:10:57.000 It's like chess.
01:10:59.000 Right.
01:10:59.000 And we began very early on identifying that there's a whole lot of different neighborhoods in Southern California.
01:11:06.000 I knew this from being with my dad.
01:11:09.000 All of his patients was like a Benetton ad.
01:11:14.000 Yeah!
01:11:15.000 You know, that's part of the beauty of Pasadena.
01:11:17.000 You got everybody, okay?
01:11:19.000 And...
01:11:21.000 Okay, what you play at the birthday party in the Spanish-speaking neighborhood.
01:11:27.000 Orale, Santana.
01:11:29.000 You got to change your evil ways.
01:11:32.000 Broken.
01:11:34.000 Yeah, it's different than what we're going to play for the surfers out at Venice Beach.
01:11:40.000 That's Aerosmith stuff.
01:11:41.000 Yeah.
01:11:45.000 Right.
01:11:45.000 And then you have the working man, okay, out in San Bernardino, and that's ZZ Top.
01:11:56.000 Subtle but important.
01:11:59.000 Genius is in the details.
01:12:01.000 And how you interact with that crowd in between.
01:12:06.000 We would play out in Pomona at a biker bar.
01:12:10.000 The guy got killed right in front of us, and we finished the song.
01:12:13.000 What happened?
01:12:14.000 A couple of bike gangs went at it, and there was a scrap, and when everybody cleared out, there was a fella right in the middle of the floor.
01:12:24.000 Next night, we came back.
01:12:26.000 Vengeance had been sworn.
01:12:28.000 There were police everywhere.
01:12:29.000 We pulled the amps out from the wall so we could hide behind the amps and catch them.
01:12:34.000 Seventies.
01:12:35.000 It was a mighty time.
01:12:36.000 Wow.
01:12:37.000 And we played on the Queen Elizabeth for really fancy.
01:12:41.000 Oh, my God.
01:12:42.000 I remember sitting in that ballroom at four in the morning in the days when we carried our own equipment and stuff and thinking of all the people who'd been in there and everybody who'd performed there and so forth and dozens and dozens of places, you know, that were all a little bit different.
01:12:59.000 And our thing was that we could play anywhere.
01:13:02.000 We had to.
01:13:04.000 Otherwise, we had to feed ourselves, all right?
01:13:07.000 And that meant five 45-minute sets a night, five, six nights if you could get it.
01:13:12.000 And we would ping-pong all over the Southland.
01:13:15.000 Anywhere we could drive for two hours.
01:13:17.000 Two hours north, south, or east is how we would do.
01:13:21.000 And every neighborhood was a little different.
01:13:23.000 And that shows up in the music.
01:13:27.000 Now you can take a look at something like Dance the Night Away or Jamie's Crying.
01:13:32.000 There's a Latino influence in that.
01:13:37.000 That's Ricky Ricardo.
01:13:39.000 People say, what's your favorite Cuban expecting me to name a cigar?
01:13:43.000 I say, Ricky Ricardo.
01:13:47.000 It's rumba.
01:13:49.000 Rumba.
01:13:53.000 Now you're thinking about it, you go, yeah, you ain't kidding.
01:13:56.000 And if you listen to Dance the Night Away, the middle break is all cha-cha, tchotchke and stuff like that.
01:14:01.000 Because here...
01:14:03.000 This is, you know, you're surrounded by Hispanic culture here.
01:14:09.000 And we had heavy metal influences, okay?
01:14:12.000 We had super wealthy stuff.
01:14:16.000 So you have to be able to move to acoustic.
01:14:20.000 You got to be able to ease up if you get hired for a wedding.
01:14:25.000 And more importantly, perhaps, you know, artist to artist.
01:14:29.000 I don't know.
01:14:30.000 Is Springsteen better during the song or in between?
01:14:34.000 Careful.
01:14:35.000 We're going to the Broadway show.
01:14:39.000 That's about a $12,000 ticket now.
01:14:42.000 And I'm guessing, before T-shirt, and I'm guessing that I haven't seen the whole show.
01:14:51.000 I saw some of it on Netflix.
01:14:52.000 And the very pivot of it is the in-between songs.
01:14:56.000 Yeah.
01:14:57.000 The songs are almost secondary.
01:15:00.000 They're almost peripheral to his narration and his descriptions and his poetry.
01:15:07.000 Well, he's such a deep guy.
01:15:09.000 You have to hear the in-between stuff.
01:15:10.000 You want to hear him brood.
01:15:12.000 You want to hear him talk.
01:15:13.000 You want to hear him think about things.
01:15:15.000 Yes.
01:15:16.000 And where do you learn that?
01:15:18.000 Where do you learn that?
01:15:19.000 Get ready.
01:15:22.000 I'm going to count to 30,000, Joe.
01:15:24.000 Yeah.
01:15:25.000 Hours and hours and hours.
01:15:27.000 And when we're done, you'll be able to, you know, Joe, that's not a good Springsteen.
01:15:33.000 You're a good man, Joe.
01:15:36.000 What I was trying to get at was, does it ever freak you out?
01:15:38.000 Like, when you're ever alone and you think about what you guys did and what you've done in your career, does it ever freak you out?
01:15:45.000 The impact that you've had.
01:15:46.000 If you looked at the amount of human beings that have had the kind of impact that you've had, it's the tiniest, tiniest fraction of a percent, like the amount of human beings that can relate to your personal life experiences.
01:15:58.000 I'll paraphrase the James Brown movie.
01:16:00.000 There's two of them.
01:16:01.000 Both of them were helpfully produced by Jagger, okay?
01:16:05.000 And he does an interview.
01:16:07.000 He goes, there's a little bit of me.
01:16:09.000 In every record you hear.
01:16:13.000 He's in the DNA. There's a little bit of David Lee Roth.
01:16:18.000 In there.
01:16:19.000 You dig?
01:16:20.000 There's a little bit, whenever you see videos today, doesn't matter if it's hip-hop, doesn't matter if it's rock and roll, doesn't matter if it's classic or pit-ball.
01:16:30.000 You dig?
01:16:31.000 There's a little bit, you can trace it back, you follow.
01:16:34.000 And it's not, I don't think of it as impact.
01:16:38.000 That's a result.
01:16:39.000 What's the verb?
01:16:41.000 Contribution.
01:16:42.000 Yeah.
01:16:43.000 At family reunions, whatever, we go around, everybody picks a word.
01:16:49.000 And my favorite word ever was contribution.
01:16:53.000 Did you try?
01:16:55.000 Go, climb the tree.
01:16:57.000 Here's my favorite poem.
01:16:58.000 I saw it inscribed on a rock by an anonymous poet at the base, just sort of base camp on Everest.
01:17:04.000 Go, climb the treasure mountain.
01:17:06.000 Do not return empty-handed.
01:17:09.000 Where are you now?
01:17:12.000 Mmm.
01:17:12.000 Ooh.
01:17:13.000 Ooh.
01:17:14.000 Ooh, yeah, that's some GPS shit.
01:17:17.000 What's interesting about music that's different than anything else, too, is it brings you back to the moment where you heard it or when it was significant to you or where, you know, like if I hear Dance the Night Away, if I'm in my car and Dance the Night Away comes on, it's just like, God, you get goosebumps.
01:17:32.000 You just have this feeling.
01:17:34.000 You feel like I'm back in Newton, Massachusetts in high school.
01:17:37.000 My favorite audience...
01:17:40.000 Is disbelieving non-believers, non-smilers.
01:17:43.000 Give me a room of North Koreans who hate everything about the trip, starting with the airport.
01:17:50.000 Get this, like this.
01:17:52.000 They hate rock and roll.
01:17:54.000 You give me two choruses.
01:17:56.000 First, we're going to drive away the evil spirits.
01:17:59.000 We might use a little volume to do that, Joe.
01:18:01.000 We might use a little of this.
01:18:02.000 Here we go.
01:18:03.000 Drive away the evil spirits, and then I'm going to make you feel young and skinny!
01:18:10.000 How much is that worth?
01:18:12.000 It's worth a lot.
01:18:13.000 Inestimable.
01:18:15.000 Inestimable.
01:18:15.000 Yeah, that's the thing about music that's different than anything else.
01:18:18.000 It really does change your mood.
01:18:20.000 It elevates you.
01:18:21.000 Well, it can do that.
01:18:22.000 It gives you juice.
01:18:23.000 It's also, we have like a big glass bowl of you.
01:18:27.000 Your whole history.
01:18:28.000 And movies don't do that.
01:18:31.000 Books will, if you used a paperback and you open it up and the pages are still dried from the vacation sun.
01:18:39.000 You know, you were reading it at the beach and the salt there made the pages kind of old and dry and crackly and some sand comes out and you get the memory.
01:18:46.000 Yeah.
01:18:46.000 All right.
01:18:47.000 Music will take you right back there.
01:18:50.000 Right back.
01:18:50.000 Right back.
01:18:51.000 The women will feel desirable.
01:18:53.000 You will feel invulnerable.
01:18:56.000 When you guys are making songs, like saying, running with the devil, something like that, how do you know when you're done?
01:19:02.000 No, it's not when you're done.
01:19:04.000 It's how'd you get there.
01:19:07.000 That informs the whole thing.
01:19:11.000 Somebody asked me once, how long did it take you to write Running with the Devil?
01:19:18.000 And that's an astute question.
01:19:21.000 I said, well, the true answer is if you watch a thousand movies, Many of them multiple times.
01:19:33.000 If you've played thousands and thousands of hours in clubs and bars.
01:19:40.000 If you've read, I don't know, 500 books.
01:19:45.000 Tried to memorize all the good parts.
01:19:52.000 Take about 18 minutes.
01:19:56.000 Write the song.
01:19:58.000 You guys wrote Running with the Devil in 18 minutes?
01:20:00.000 Yeah.
01:20:00.000 Really?
01:20:01.000 Yes.
01:20:01.000 Jesus Christ.
01:20:02.000 Okay.
01:20:03.000 Bethesda's Rhapsody in blue.
01:20:05.000 Right.
01:20:08.000 Took 22 minutes to come up with the basic theme and the rest of it's improvisation.
01:20:14.000 How would you guys write?
01:20:15.000 How would you guys get together and do it?
01:20:16.000 See, the whole point is not the 18 minutes.
01:20:19.000 It's the whole lifetime before it.
01:20:21.000 It's everything that led up to that.
01:20:24.000 Now, Vane Halen, we never took a demo tape around because we didn't get lost in the stack.
01:20:29.000 We said if we're as good as we think we are, they'll come find us.
01:20:32.000 And if they don't, we're not.
01:20:34.000 Wow.
01:20:35.000 It's unforgiving.
01:20:37.000 Instead of the requisite two and a half, three years it takes for most acts, we spent five and a half years working the clubs and the bars and everything like that.
01:20:46.000 So, you know, we came in with scars and stars.
01:20:55.000 We'd done the state fair circuit like that.
01:20:59.000 I wasn't exactly new.
01:21:00.000 Same thing for Springsteen.
01:21:02.000 He'd done ten years in the clubs and bars before Springsteen.
01:21:06.000 Yeah.
01:21:07.000 You know, Thunder Road and whatnot.
01:21:09.000 Right.
01:21:10.000 And you'll see this routinely.
01:21:12.000 I think the Beatles did four or five years of working in the Red Light District, Reaper Bond and all the club shows and stuff like that.
01:21:20.000 And they're adding up.
01:21:21.000 They're getting that $10,000 and then ultimately that $30,000 an hour mark.
01:21:27.000 Yeah, the Beatles, I think it's Malcolm Gladwell's book where he's talking about the Beatles and when they came up, when they were performing in Germany and they were doing these shows where they were doing multiple sets a night every night of the week and that this is really what made them so good is this constant performing and that they were doing it so much and so often that they just became this smoothly oiled machine.
01:21:52.000 If you have a team that you're working together Again, this is another kind of thing I learned along the way.
01:22:03.000 40 hours a week is about your minimum if there's a team, like we're a rugby team or a SWAT team or an emergency room, kind of a C-block, kind of, you know,
01:22:19.000 intensive, like that, inner-city intensive.
01:22:21.000 We call it Vietnam sometimes, like that.
01:22:24.000 40 hours a week is about your minimum that you need to train together in order to be going without looking at each other.
01:22:32.000 When the lights go out, you don't lose velocity, so to speak.
01:22:40.000 Ultimately, you'll start to look like each other.
01:22:42.000 This is the nature of things.
01:22:43.000 The Beatles looked like each other.
01:22:45.000 Van Halen, we looked like each other.
01:22:47.000 We all had the same haircut.
01:22:48.000 We wore the same leather jackets, the same as we became a team.
01:22:53.000 It's the golden times.
01:22:55.000 These are the golden years that most people look back on before.
01:22:58.000 The friction of time implicates itself.
01:23:02.000 You get married.
01:23:03.000 You have kids.
01:23:06.000 You bump your elbow.
01:23:08.000 Now I've got to get my elbow work done.
01:23:11.000 It's the friction of time.
01:23:13.000 The rent expands, contracts, etc.
01:23:21.000 People routinely look back on that as the golden years.
01:23:25.000 Your gang.
01:23:27.000 Everybody had one.
01:23:29.000 Look back in graphic arts.
01:23:31.000 You know, the Picassos and the Dalis and everybody wandered around in gangs.
01:23:36.000 The great writers in New York all hung out together.
01:23:41.000 And they didn't get along.
01:23:43.000 You're always competing with each other.
01:23:44.000 You're pretending to love each other.
01:23:47.000 I just read in New York Magazine some advice from the art critic, Jerry Saltzman.
01:23:54.000 It says, create gangs.
01:23:56.000 And remember, always treat the weakest one as your best friend because there's somebody else in the gang who thinks you're the weakest one.
01:24:03.000 And that's what you learn, you know, as you go.
01:24:06.000 What are you going to learn from working the clubs and the bars and stuff?
01:24:09.000 Well, my string just broke.
01:24:12.000 My nose is running.
01:24:13.000 I'm angry.
01:24:15.000 My girlfriend just ran off with two, not one guy.
01:24:18.000 Yeah.
01:24:23.000 Should I keep going?
01:24:24.000 I'm underpaid, non-respected, late.
01:24:28.000 And now I'm starting to sound like double Dutch bus.
01:24:31.000 To top it off, I'm late to work.
01:24:32.000 I got bad feet and my corns hurt.
01:24:35.000 And you're going to play.
01:24:37.000 You will perform.
01:24:38.000 Okay?
01:24:39.000 Just as you will expect that surgeon at four in the morning.
01:24:44.000 This is my little baby girl.
01:24:48.000 That unforgiving.
01:24:50.000 Apply that to your heart.
01:24:53.000 Ooh.
01:24:53.000 Sage words.
01:24:56.000 Sage words of advice.
01:24:58.000 You have expectations.
01:24:59.000 You may not have used them yet.
01:25:01.000 Yeah.
01:25:03.000 When you guys wrote songs, how did you put the lyrics to the music?
01:25:08.000 What was the process?
01:25:09.000 How did you guys sort that out?
01:25:11.000 Would you come to them with an idea?
01:25:13.000 Would they come to you with a riff?
01:25:15.000 How would it work?
01:25:16.000 It'll work...
01:25:19.000 A number of ways, but a mistake that a lot of young writers in my department, the lyrics, make is that they think of it as secondary.
01:25:30.000 They wait for the music or the track first, and then you'll walk into a studio and hope that the hand of God will descend and grace you with amazing epiphanies.
01:25:47.000 I can't even spell amazing.
01:25:50.000 All right?
01:25:53.000 And called upon to do it right away, you know, you'll work out a beat and go, Dave, you got some lyrics.
01:25:59.000 If I go walk into that room and try to create it right there, nine times out of ten, it's going to be moon in June.
01:26:06.000 Right?
01:26:07.000 Moon in June.
01:26:09.000 Really?
01:26:09.000 When?
01:26:10.000 Sometime soon.
01:26:12.000 What time of day?
01:26:13.000 I'm thinking noon.
01:26:16.000 Literally.
01:26:17.000 I'm going to put my hands in the air.
01:26:20.000 Why?
01:26:20.000 Well, because I just don't care.
01:26:28.000 You wind up there unless you're banking.
01:26:33.000 Think like debate.
01:26:35.000 If you're going to debate somebody, you're banking your ideas.
01:26:40.000 And whatever the subject is, You don't even have to have a subject.
01:26:47.000 It's, okay, I like what he just said.
01:26:51.000 I might even write that phrase, I like what you just said.
01:26:55.000 It could be a Drake lyric.
01:26:58.000 Any expressions, ideas, slogans, anything that comes from other tunes in terms of their lyric.
01:27:06.000 And is everybody contributing?
01:27:08.000 No, that's just me.
01:27:09.000 I have volumes of those kinds of ideas, ideas for songs, storylines, etc.
01:27:17.000 You would never go into a fight without doing that.
01:27:21.000 Collecting moves from every other film of every other fighter that you possibly can.
01:27:27.000 So that when somebody goes like this, you go, oh, I know what to do.
01:27:30.000 So-and-so from Zunders, and then I'm going to visit like this.
01:27:33.000 And somebody says, it's a song about, they play a song, I go, wow, it sounds kind of like cowboy music.
01:27:39.000 Let's write about cowboys.
01:27:41.000 Going through the banking.
01:27:45.000 Giddy up.
01:27:47.000 That's a cool title.
01:27:50.000 I heard a cowboy say it on the TV set.
01:27:53.000 And I wrote it down.
01:27:55.000 Literally.
01:27:56.000 Okay?
01:27:58.000 And you start...
01:27:59.000 I see the lights coming.
01:28:02.000 And you start banking.
01:28:03.000 Okay?
01:28:04.000 Somebody says something.
01:28:06.000 You dig?
01:28:08.000 I heard somebody, a waitress named Pepper, with an unlit Pall Mall cigarette.
01:28:16.000 Okay?
01:28:17.000 Tell me.
01:28:19.000 Oh, honey, nothing could have stopped us back then anyway.
01:28:23.000 That's a title.
01:28:24.000 That is a title.
01:28:25.000 I wrote a song to it.
01:28:26.000 Did you?
01:28:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:27.000 Where was this waitress?
01:28:29.000 On the road.
01:28:31.000 Well, she also had something else to say.
01:28:34.000 She'd lean over.
01:28:34.000 She'd show that cleavage a little bit, and she'd go, keep your fork, honey.
01:28:39.000 There's pie.
01:28:52.000 And you write it down.
01:28:53.000 Yeah.
01:28:55.000 Banking.
01:28:55.000 Yeah.
01:28:56.000 I like the term they use in debate.
01:28:58.000 You're banking.
01:28:59.000 Banking your ideas.
01:29:00.000 So when you would go on the road and someone would say something like that, you would physically write it down?
01:29:03.000 Go home and write it down today.
01:29:05.000 Today.
01:29:05.000 All the time.
01:29:06.000 Banking.
01:29:06.000 Yeah.
01:29:07.000 And it goes into the books.
01:29:08.000 And then when it's time to deal with a given, since you listen to music, if the music came first, and you're...
01:29:16.000 I don't know.
01:29:18.000 Remind you of something.
01:29:19.000 Oh, that sounds like kung fu.
01:29:20.000 That sounds like country.
01:29:21.000 That sounds like engines are coming.
01:29:26.000 And on and on.
01:29:27.000 You might suggest an idea.
01:29:30.000 Do you write things down physically or do you type them?
01:29:32.000 I print.
01:29:34.000 Print.
01:29:35.000 Yeah.
01:29:36.000 And I paint and draw routinely.
01:29:39.000 Okay.
01:29:40.000 That's part of the martial arts.
01:29:42.000 Okay.
01:29:43.000 Sure.
01:29:43.000 Miyamoto Musashi.
01:29:45.000 Yep.
01:29:45.000 But when I was in Japan, two and three nights a week, we call it training, I did sumi-e with sumi-e teachers.
01:29:57.000 What is sumi-e?
01:29:58.000 It's like calligraphy, pen and ink.
01:30:02.000 In the world of the digital future, I spent two years practicing four shades of gray and two shades of black.
01:30:09.000 Wow.
01:30:11.000 Yeah.
01:30:12.000 You want to see my lesson?
01:30:13.000 Can you focus a camera if I stand up?
01:30:17.000 Yeah.
01:30:17.000 Can you focus?
01:30:18.000 Here's my lesson.
01:30:19.000 Okay.
01:30:19.000 I'm going to walk from here to here.
01:30:22.000 Okay.
01:30:23.000 I'm here painting.
01:30:24.000 Okay.
01:30:25.000 I'm the only guy in the room.
01:30:26.000 Ready?
01:30:27.000 Okay.
01:30:27.000 Here we go.
01:30:36.000 No.
01:30:42.000 Yeah.
01:30:43.000 Okay.
01:30:44.000 After six months, I heard better.
01:30:48.000 Jesus Christ.
01:30:50.000 After almost 10 months, I sit down, he goes, Mr. Roth, I think you are my best student.
01:31:00.000 I said, not my painting.
01:31:02.000 He said, no, no, not your painting.
01:31:05.000 He said, you are most determined.
01:31:08.000 You are most sincere.
01:31:11.000 You really enjoy malls like this.
01:31:15.000 Thank you, sir.
01:31:16.000 He said, I wish to invite you to director's meeting of Sumie Society.
01:31:22.000 Whoa.
01:31:23.000 I made the same face.
01:31:24.000 I said, whoa.
01:31:25.000 He said, when is that?
01:31:27.000 He said, right now.
01:31:29.000 He pulled out a bottle of sake and two little cups.
01:31:35.000 Became one of my best friends in Tokyo.
01:31:39.000 Shit, first six months, I might have got seven words.
01:31:45.000 Well, for a guy like that, in this day and age, it must be insanely difficult to get someone to have that sort of appreciation for commitment.
01:31:52.000 Well, it's a national thing, okay?
01:31:56.000 You learn that stuff in grade school, and it's sort of like music lessons, okay?
01:32:01.000 Painting and calligraphy is as well known as perhaps piano lessons.
01:32:05.000 What were you thinking while you were doing all this, while you're learning this and spending months and months?
01:32:10.000 I focus on specifically that, knowing that at the end of the term, I'm going to be a little, I don't know, I'm sharpening things a little bit, and when I'm called upon, even to have a discussion like this.
01:32:23.000 Yeah.
01:32:24.000 I can bring a little contribution to it.
01:32:28.000 It can be more entertaining for all of you listening to this.
01:32:34.000 That's an amazing recognition that you have, though, that you realized while you were doing this that even though consciously all you're doing is doing calligraphy, you're working on other parts of your mind.
01:32:43.000 Oh, I knew I was never going to paint for shit.
01:32:47.000 Fifty shades a day of...
01:32:49.000 But you were still focusing 100% of your energy on doing it while you were doing it.
01:32:55.000 Yeah.
01:32:56.000 Yeah.
01:32:56.000 And there's something to that.
01:32:58.000 It's the preparation.
01:33:00.000 What are you doing now that's weird?
01:33:03.000 Well, I went corporate.
01:33:05.000 You went corporate?
01:33:05.000 Oh, yeah.
01:33:06.000 I got 34 employees.
01:33:08.000 You do?
01:33:08.000 I have offices at One Park Avenue in New York.
01:33:11.000 You seem like the type of guy who might go off the grid and be very difficult to find.
01:33:15.000 I got offices at the beach in my company.
01:33:19.000 Geez, we're about $8 million into it here.
01:33:23.000 And running that kind of a team and dealing with the people, because it's art-centric.
01:33:29.000 What is this team?
01:33:30.000 What's it about?
01:33:30.000 This is the tattoo stuff?
01:33:31.000 It's the original.
01:33:32.000 This is my stuff.
01:33:34.000 And I didn't just hire a bunch of people to pass things in front of me.
01:33:39.000 I designed what that logo looks like.
01:33:42.000 I put together what the general, everything.
01:33:45.000 Okay?
01:33:46.000 And then I hired the architects and said, build this.
01:33:50.000 Create this.
01:33:51.000 So, it's virtually everything that you know how to do as an artist.
01:33:56.000 Because you have to keep everybody entertained.
01:33:58.000 You have to be creative on levels.
01:34:06.000 We're good to go.
01:34:25.000 I think?
01:34:51.000 I'm the guy who has to interpret those sounds.
01:34:53.000 Yeah.
01:34:55.000 And, and, and, and.
01:34:56.000 Because there's got to be a sense of humor.
01:34:58.000 Right.
01:34:58.000 The name of my company is Laugh to Win.
01:35:02.000 And it doesn't have anything to do with mirth.
01:35:07.000 All the best pirates laugh, especially if it's the last one.
01:35:11.000 Oof.
01:35:16.000 Few of these are going to detonate on the freeway home.
01:35:19.000 No, I'm sure.
01:35:20.000 When you're creating this company, how much of your time is involved in this?
01:35:27.000 A significant amount of time.
01:35:29.000 We're back and forth.
01:35:31.000 So you're like a real professional now.
01:35:34.000 Like a professional corporate dude.
01:35:36.000 You're doing the 50 hour work week thing.
01:35:40.000 No, no, no.
01:35:42.000 It's art-centric.
01:35:43.000 Okay.
01:35:44.000 All right.
01:35:47.000 It starts with, what was the need?
01:35:51.000 What was the need?
01:35:52.000 Well, the need is like when Al Honnold goes climbing, he's going to put on some sunblock and he doesn't want to touch that shit for another four hours.
01:35:59.000 Right.
01:36:00.000 So I built it for him.
01:36:02.000 Okay.
01:36:03.000 I cracked my two molars and walked around for three years with no molars on this side of my head when I caught dengue fever.
01:36:11.000 Whoa.
01:36:11.000 Okay.
01:36:12.000 Because the sunblock and the stuff that had the mosquito shit in it washed off when I got out of the ocean.
01:36:18.000 So I solved it.
01:36:20.000 And we are stripper friendly, but we are not strippers.
01:36:24.000 So I don't want shiny.
01:36:27.000 Okay.
01:36:29.000 So it's like a sunblock?
01:36:30.000 I want satin glow.
01:36:33.000 I don't want shiny.
01:36:35.000 There's room for shiny.
01:36:36.000 Like, you know, Friday nights.
01:36:38.000 Sure.
01:36:38.000 Throw a little glitter on it.
01:36:39.000 And as far as fragrances, thank you, no.
01:36:43.000 Okay.
01:36:47.000 It took three years and more than you want to quote to solve that.
01:36:51.000 Because every time you go and you smell something, you crack the jar of anything.
01:36:57.000 Somebody has played with that, probably in New Jersey.
01:37:01.000 Okay?
01:37:02.000 Think like this.
01:37:03.000 I'm already doing the pitch.
01:37:05.000 You like ice cream?
01:37:06.000 Yes.
01:37:06.000 If you don't, your kids do.
01:37:08.000 Gelato, even better.
01:37:10.000 Okay?
01:37:11.000 Suppose you want to make coconut vanilla.
01:37:16.000 Well, if you're buying most products, you've got to just go to one factory in New Jersey.
01:37:20.000 True story.
01:37:22.000 The L'Oreal's, the Neutrogena's and so forth.
01:37:25.000 And they're going to take the smell of coconut and the smell of vanilla and mix and so forth.
01:37:30.000 This kind of a thing.
01:37:33.000 The fact is, the cow lives in a very different place than the coconut lady who grows coconuts.
01:37:39.000 And the guy who's going to sell you your vanilla lives in a whole other country.
01:37:44.000 The reason that ice cream tastes so good is somebody got their ass on an airplane and flew to all three places.
01:37:50.000 And that's what my staff does.
01:37:52.000 Our staff is artisanal.
01:37:54.000 It's like craft scotch.
01:37:56.000 From the Carolinas, put your Pendleton on.
01:38:00.000 We're going to Portland.
01:38:03.000 Really.
01:38:04.000 And then we're going to go to Seattle because that's just one product.
01:38:08.000 It's my artisanal art thing that I do there.
01:38:12.000 And it came from a need behind the scenes.
01:38:17.000 Started years ago when we'd be climbing and stuff would get all over our hands and all over our ropes.
01:38:22.000 We'd be kayaking and somebody would keep dropping the oars because something was slippery.
01:38:27.000 You follow?
01:38:28.000 So, okay, someday I'm going to solve this.
01:38:30.000 Someday I'm going to solve this.
01:38:32.000 When you're in your 20s, there's an aha moment.
01:38:35.000 When you're my age, there's more than one.
01:38:40.000 And that's when we went, aha, again, third time today, and began to expand.
01:38:45.000 Laugh to Win makes ink, the original, and we have 60 other products coming up.
01:38:51.000 All of it developed for people who live in vans like Alex Arnold, folks who live in transit at hotels, people who live urban camping is what we do, especially me and my tour bus.
01:39:06.000 Everything I do is in the disco submarine.
01:39:09.000 We travel, and you've got to be familiar everywhere.
01:39:13.000 Even Canada?
01:39:14.000 Even Canada.
01:39:16.000 And, and, and.
01:39:18.000 Today, we travel the entire world with impunity.
01:39:21.000 You go to South America, you go to Europe, and something as simple when you go to Japan, you're really going to go find dental floss on your own?
01:39:34.000 No, you're not pale-faced.
01:39:35.000 You've got to take me, because otherwise you're doing pantomime.
01:39:40.000 Yeah, wait until you get a bad stomach and you've got to pantomime that to the little lady.
01:39:46.000 Okay.
01:39:48.000 All of these things...
01:39:50.000 Okay, I've got to stabilize.
01:39:52.000 I've got to fit in my backpack.
01:39:54.000 Every container has to be able to be sat on in a third-world airport.
01:39:59.000 You've got to be able to Stevie Wonder it in your backpack.
01:40:03.000 It's an insensitive illusion analogy, but every one of our containers is such that you can stick your hand in the bag while you're driving and find it.
01:40:13.000 I'm safety conscious.
01:40:14.000 What do you have kids in the car?
01:40:15.000 So this is done by design.
01:40:17.000 The shape of the package is done by design so you can find it in the bag.
01:40:20.000 Absolutely.
01:40:20.000 What does it look like?
01:40:21.000 Pull it up, Jamie.
01:40:22.000 You can read our logos from across the Atlantic Ocean.
01:40:28.000 All right.
01:40:28.000 Having worked and played...
01:40:32.000 Here it is.
01:40:33.000 Okay.
01:40:34.000 Suppose your granddaddy doesn't speak English.
01:40:39.000 Mm-hmm.
01:40:40.000 Okay.
01:40:41.000 All of our products have this kind of logo in here.
01:40:44.000 All right.
01:40:45.000 So translate this to granddad into Cambodian.
01:40:47.000 Granddad, you're going to water exercise.
01:40:50.000 Okay.
01:40:51.000 Everybody there is going to have their own gear.
01:40:53.000 Take yours.
01:40:54.000 Make sure grandma puts this one on.
01:40:56.000 And that works in 82 languages.
01:40:58.000 I like the logo.
01:40:59.000 Okay.
01:41:00.000 Thank you.
01:41:00.000 That's a cool looking bottle of sunscreen.
01:41:03.000 Thank you.
01:41:04.000 You got hand grip in case you're wearing gloves at work.
01:41:07.000 And a lot of times when we're waiting in the projects, okay, in the rainstorms, you're wearing two gloves.
01:41:12.000 You got your rubber gloves and you got your duty gloves on.
01:41:15.000 All right.
01:41:16.000 You still got the no slip grip on the side.
01:41:19.000 Fair enough.
01:41:21.000 And you got a daughter, right?
01:41:23.000 She's going to grow up to be somebody, right?
01:41:26.000 And hanging around with guys and controlling guys.
01:41:30.000 My dad worked in the prison system the last 20 years of his life.
01:41:33.000 He did eye surgeries up in Folsom, San Quentin, Norco, Pelican Bay, etc.
01:41:40.000 Little skinny Jewish doctor, how do you control level 4 violent lifers?
01:41:45.000 Theater.
01:41:48.000 You're going to tell your daughter, don't pull anything pink out of your purse if you're sitting with a bunch of guys.
01:41:54.000 Pull that stuff out.
01:41:56.000 It's the right color.
01:41:58.000 If you're at a legal briefing, You gotta be a boss.
01:42:02.000 Don't pull any cerulean blue.
01:42:05.000 Especially if it's shiny vinyl out of your purse.
01:42:08.000 You can't have a purple laptop.
01:42:10.000 Pull that.
01:42:10.000 Pull that.
01:42:11.000 It says boss.
01:42:13.000 Yeah.
01:42:13.000 In 22 languages.
01:42:14.000 What's in it?
01:42:15.000 Like, what's in it that makes it work well?
01:42:17.000 Like, that makes it waterproof and...
01:42:19.000 It's 100% in the brightener, for example.
01:42:25.000 It's organics, okay?
01:42:27.000 What's a brightener?
01:42:28.000 Well...
01:42:29.000 Like it makes your tattoo shiny?
01:42:30.000 You bet.
01:42:31.000 And it stays on just short of forever.
01:42:34.000 It stays on when you go swimming, so forth, okay?
01:42:38.000 And what do you always do when somebody goes, hey, what's that new P symbol?
01:42:43.000 You lick your finger...
01:42:45.000 And you rub it.
01:42:48.000 And you show it before it dries out again.
01:42:51.000 Right, right.
01:42:52.000 Okay.
01:42:53.000 I'm going to deal with the vanities.
01:42:55.000 As guys, you never want to say you give a shit.
01:42:58.000 Right.
01:42:58.000 I would teach my kid to say that if I had one.
01:43:03.000 Hey, your tattoo's looking a little rusty.
01:43:05.000 I don't give a shit.
01:43:06.000 Learn how to say that in a few languages.
01:43:08.000 Right.
01:43:09.000 But you know, you give a shit.
01:43:11.000 Otherwise, you wouldn't have gotten the paint job.
01:43:12.000 Right.
01:43:13.000 And you want the girls to know you got a P symbol anyways, because you look kind of mean, like me.
01:43:18.000 Great.
01:43:19.000 Put your finger away, will you?
01:43:21.000 We've got to clean up.
01:43:23.000 It's a bacterial thing.
01:43:25.000 So what's in that stuff?
01:43:26.000 You're going to make all the mistakes, too.
01:43:28.000 You're going to go out, and you're going to try and find cheap shit moisturizers that you're going to put on there, and you're going to smear it all over yourself, and it's going to look like that scene from something about Mary when she puts that shit around.
01:43:43.000 And everybody's going to think, what's that shit all over Bobby's arm?
01:43:47.000 Like this.
01:43:48.000 And it's going to get all over your t-shirt.
01:43:50.000 And your wife has a $600 t-shirt, doesn't she, Joe?
01:43:54.000 So you've got to consider all of this.
01:43:58.000 I saw a nice car out there.
01:44:00.000 I'm guessing there's nice upholstery in it.
01:44:02.000 I took that into consideration.
01:44:04.000 I got you covered.
01:44:07.000 On and on.
01:44:08.000 And it's the smell of victory.
01:44:10.000 There it goes.
01:44:10.000 Contains vitamin C, shea butter, and coconut oil not tested on animals.
01:44:15.000 Dermatologist reviewed.
01:44:17.000 Paraben free.
01:44:18.000 Petroleum free.
01:44:19.000 The full list of ingredients.
01:44:21.000 Here we go.
01:44:21.000 Oh, what is all this jazz?
01:44:23.000 We are one of the few products here that is reef-safe allowable in Hawaii.
01:44:31.000 The limits of what's going into the oceans now and the tourist areas of the world.
01:44:36.000 In Hawaii, you can count on one hand the products they're allowing to be used on the beaches and even in the swimming pools and stuff now.
01:44:45.000 So that comes...
01:44:47.000 So this is 100% organic stuff.
01:44:49.000 It's all waxes and butters.
01:44:51.000 Yep.
01:44:53.000 When people talk about miracle ingredients...
01:44:59.000 I think in terms of there's water and then there's Fiji.
01:45:06.000 Butter, eggs, sugar, flour.
01:45:10.000 That's all that there is in the bakery.
01:45:12.000 All right?
01:45:13.000 We invented the cronut.
01:45:16.000 Okay?
01:45:17.000 You take the best of this and the best of that and the considerations, again, come from life experience.
01:45:24.000 I didn't just look at myself and go, wow.
01:45:29.000 Here's an idea to make money.
01:45:30.000 My fortune's been made.
01:45:33.000 What we did is find what we can use when we're living out of backpacks.
01:45:39.000 What we can use when we go dancing.
01:45:41.000 I still go dancing, and I don't leave that floor for four hours.
01:45:45.000 Where do you go dancing?
01:45:47.000 I'm not telling you.
01:45:50.000 Go beach, beach, beach.
01:45:52.000 Oh, yeah.
01:45:54.000 Routine.
01:45:55.000 Really?
01:45:55.000 Oh, you bet.
01:45:56.000 Where are you going to show that ink?
01:45:58.000 Right.
01:45:59.000 You follow?
01:46:00.000 Today, I know in New York City, for example, Mr. Chin lives right next to Mr. Gomez.
01:46:08.000 They both live over Mr. Katzenberg.
01:46:11.000 Mr. Radakovich owns the building.
01:46:13.000 None of them can speak to each other.
01:46:15.000 They all speak a different language.
01:46:17.000 They're all different religions, etc.
01:46:19.000 So there's two ways we communicate.
01:46:22.000 First is swearing.
01:46:24.000 You know how to do that, right?
01:46:26.000 You learn seven, eight words in swearing.
01:46:27.000 You can describe anything.
01:46:29.000 This show is the shit.
01:46:31.000 Show you the shit.
01:46:32.000 Thank you.
01:46:33.000 What kind of shit are you doing lately?
01:46:34.000 That last fight?
01:46:35.000 That was the shit.
01:46:38.000 And we're having a conversation.
01:46:40.000 Okay, like so.
01:46:41.000 And the next is Ink.
01:46:44.000 I see you got a chicken on one arm and a cleaver you butcher.
01:46:49.000 And the girl down there's got cupcakes with funny noses.
01:46:52.000 Let me guess.
01:46:54.000 He's got musical notes.
01:46:56.000 Can I guess more?
01:46:57.000 Right.
01:46:58.000 And, and, and.
01:47:00.000 In an Esperanto, you walk out in front of Columbia University at lunchtime?
01:47:07.000 It's the future.
01:47:07.000 You would not know that it's United States.
01:47:10.000 It is a complete, composite, international, just the smell of all the food trucks.
01:47:15.000 The last thing you smell is salami and yellow cheese on white bread.
01:47:20.000 Thank God.
01:47:21.000 Say thank God in a few other languages.
01:47:25.000 Really?
01:47:25.000 Yeah.
01:47:26.000 Okay.
01:47:26.000 So it's a communication process.
01:47:30.000 And that's part of my fascination with it.
01:47:33.000 It's a constantly evolving Esperanto art form.
01:47:36.000 I've visited tribes in New Guinea who can't dance.
01:47:39.000 They don't dance.
01:47:41.000 But they did have tattooing.
01:47:43.000 They did have scarification.
01:47:44.000 We know that Iceman they found under the glacier.
01:47:46.000 That guy, you know, they found his body.
01:47:49.000 I forget what they call him.
01:47:50.000 I forget what his name is.
01:47:51.000 But he had tattoos on him.
01:47:52.000 I mean, he's thousands of years old.
01:47:56.000 That was Fabio.
01:47:57.000 I think it's a different guy.
01:48:02.000 Doesn't he go to your gym?
01:48:04.000 Fabio goes to Jamie's gym.
01:48:05.000 I see him all the time.
01:48:09.000 He still looks like Fabio.
01:48:10.000 I mean, he's very recognizable.
01:48:12.000 Fabio is like sideburns and flares and easy listening.
01:48:17.000 We always make fun, but there's one of them in your past.
01:48:20.000 That guy banked on his hair.
01:48:22.000 I mean, if that guy went bald like me, he'd be fucked.
01:48:25.000 It still is the exact same.
01:48:27.000 Fabulous, right?
01:48:28.000 Yeah.
01:48:28.000 Amazing genetics.
01:48:30.000 You got a lucky break.
01:48:31.000 He's one of the characters.
01:48:33.000 Who are other characters like that?
01:48:36.000 Oh, David Hasselhoff.
01:48:38.000 Sure.
01:48:38.000 Now has Hasselbook.
01:48:41.000 What is that?
01:48:42.000 Well, he has his own Facebook thing and he's met so many.
01:48:45.000 Oh, hell of a fucking shit.
01:48:46.000 Jesus Christ.
01:48:48.000 I got the disdain look from Joe.
01:48:50.000 Oh my God, Hasselbook.
01:48:52.000 Talk about a non-smiler.
01:48:53.000 Oh my God, Hasselbook.
01:48:56.000 Jesus is fucking cold in here.
01:49:00.000 Are you guys cold?
01:49:06.000 Hasslebook, holy shit.
01:49:08.000 Who was Anna Nicole Smith?
01:49:11.000 Yeah, she had a look.
01:49:12.000 There's three phases.
01:49:13.000 Yeah.
01:49:13.000 First phase, pretty good.
01:49:15.000 The guest jeans ad phase.
01:49:16.000 Correct.
01:49:17.000 Right, and then there's married to the old dude.
01:49:19.000 Well, I'm a little kinky.
01:49:20.000 I kind of like the last one, too.
01:49:22.000 The rich, right before she dies.
01:49:23.000 Elvis had three phases.
01:49:25.000 Yes, yes.
01:49:25.000 Okay.
01:49:26.000 Yeah.
01:49:27.000 So, yeah.
01:49:29.000 But there are folks also that don't have phases.
01:49:33.000 Springsteen never had a phase.
01:49:34.000 He was always Springsteen, right?
01:49:35.000 There he is.
01:49:36.000 Looking good, Fabio.
01:49:37.000 He's about 85 years old.
01:49:39.000 Still jacked?
01:49:40.000 Is that current?
01:49:41.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't see him working out a lot, but he's there.
01:49:43.000 What does he do if he's at the gym?
01:49:45.000 I don't know.
01:49:45.000 Talking to women and...
01:49:46.000 Oh, damn.
01:49:47.000 Still scoring.
01:49:48.000 No, but in turn...
01:49:51.000 That's so...
01:49:52.000 You want to think about it, but you don't.
01:49:54.000 But you do.
01:49:55.000 You do, but you don't.
01:49:56.000 Yeah, you want to think about the gal that wants to bang Fabio.
01:49:59.000 Super pumped about it.
01:50:01.000 He's coming over in five minutes.
01:50:02.000 I gotta get ready.
01:50:04.000 What are you watching on TV? Do you have television?
01:50:08.000 Yes.
01:50:08.000 And what are you watching regularly?
01:50:10.000 Because I don't have television.
01:50:12.000 I listen to Sirius XM routinely.
01:50:14.000 I listen to like six different channels over and over again.
01:50:18.000 Lately, I'm watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which is an Amazon show.
01:50:25.000 It's an Amazon original show about a stand-up comedian in the 1950s, a woman stand-up comedian who hangs out with Lenny Bruce.
01:50:32.000 It's really good.
01:50:33.000 Okay.
01:50:33.000 Really good show.
01:50:34.000 Women stand-up comedians.
01:50:36.000 Yeah.
01:50:36.000 There's a great subject.
01:50:37.000 Yeah.
01:50:37.000 Sarah Silverman.
01:50:38.000 Yeah.
01:50:39.000 Hooray.
01:50:40.000 Mm-hmm.
01:50:40.000 Spectacular, right?
01:50:41.000 Yeah.
01:50:41.000 She has a real hurdle, because one of the things that she does best is play the part of the character she's lampooning.
01:50:50.000 Sure.
01:50:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:50:52.000 She plays the part, beautifully, of a witless...
01:50:56.000 Yep.
01:50:57.000 Racist whatever...
01:50:59.000 Mm-hmm.
01:50:59.000 And her hurdle is that a large segment of the audience doesn't realize that it's an act.
01:51:05.000 Well, now, now that's the hurdle.
01:51:08.000 Especially now, if you go back and look at some of her older bits, and especially if you looked at it written down as opposed to her saying it, we're in such an overwhelmingly sensitive time when it comes to subject matter that, yeah, that would be a big hurdle for her now.
01:51:22.000 But it's the best work ever.
01:51:24.000 It made such an impact the first time I ever saw her do it.
01:51:26.000 And this is a tradition that goes all the way back.
01:51:28.000 Back during Lincoln, there was a fellow who wrote the NASB letters where he pretended to be a Southern racist and making fun of Southern racism.
01:51:38.000 Yeah.
01:51:38.000 By pretending to be, Lincoln kept the articles clipped from the newspaper in his drawer so he could read them occasionally and laugh during the Civil War.
01:51:48.000 You know, this is a tradition of acting out the character that you are about to execute.
01:51:55.000 Unfortunately, there's a lot.
01:51:56.000 What is the chemistry that folks don't understand that you are pretending?
01:52:01.000 They don't care.
01:52:02.000 It's a dishonest approach.
01:52:04.000 They don't care whether or not you're pretending.
01:52:06.000 They see you have said something or there's something written that shows that you said something that they feel is in violation and so they want to go after it.
01:52:16.000 It's literal.
01:52:34.000 And I think it's probably because things are going so well in this world.
01:52:39.000 I mean, some people say it's not going that well.
01:52:42.000 You know, there's a lot of things to be fixed, for sure.
01:52:44.000 But it's the safest time to be alive ever.
01:52:47.000 It just is.
01:52:48.000 This is undeniably the safest time to be alive.
01:52:51.000 I'll agree with that.
01:52:51.000 And I think people are more open-minded than ever, more kind than ever.
01:52:54.000 There's less violence than ever.
01:52:56.000 If you look at Pinker's work...
01:52:58.000 All these things are trending in a very, very clear and obvious direction.
01:53:01.000 And I think when you have coddled minds and you have more safety, people start running around looking for things to be upset at.
01:53:09.000 And also a lot of young people that are very idealistic think they're going to change the world.
01:53:14.000 And one of the ways they're going to change the world is by policing language and policing the way people talk about things and discuss things.
01:53:20.000 And so stand-up comedy, which is, you know, you say a lot of things you don't really mean because they're funny.
01:53:25.000 You know, that's the whole point behind it.
01:53:27.000 And so it's ripe as far as a target for that kind of recreational outrage.
01:53:33.000 The musical equivalent, perhaps, is really shitty songs written about important subjects.
01:53:39.000 Yeah.
01:53:40.000 Yeah.
01:53:41.000 Really shitty songs written about important subjects are offensive.
01:53:45.000 Right?
01:53:46.000 They are, right?
01:53:47.000 It's like the melody sound reminds you of overdue dentist appointments.
01:53:52.000 Yeah.
01:53:53.000 The singing sounds like hot water being thrown on a sick cat, but it's about starving children.
01:53:59.000 Right.
01:54:00.000 What's a good example?
01:54:01.000 No, don't go there.
01:54:02.000 Okay.
01:54:02.000 We don't need to do that.
01:54:03.000 We don't need to do that.
01:54:04.000 But we all know the songs.
01:54:06.000 But we're all thinking.
01:54:08.000 Yeah, we all know.
01:54:09.000 And if you criticize the song, even if you say it's just musically, that sounds like we shall overcome.
01:54:18.000 Whoa!
01:54:19.000 Whoa!
01:54:19.000 That's about pets!
01:54:21.000 Right.
01:54:22.000 Yeah.
01:54:23.000 I love pets.
01:54:24.000 Well, there's movies like that too, right?
01:54:27.000 There's movies about really important subjects that are terrible movies.
01:54:30.000 Like how many awful war movies?
01:54:33.000 You cause me to think that if it's a really, really important subject, it probably is a terrible movie.
01:54:40.000 Yeah, most likely.
01:54:41.000 Why do I think that?
01:54:42.000 Right.
01:54:42.000 Well, there's no way to really get an important subject and boil it down to two hours.
01:54:47.000 Oh, I didn't think of that.
01:54:49.000 Give me two hours.
01:54:51.000 Yeah.
01:54:52.000 An important subject.
01:54:53.000 Yeah, I mean, especially, like, one thing that drives me crazy is when they take liberties with someone's biography.
01:54:59.000 Like, if they do a biography on someone's life and they change things around or add things to it for theatrical flair.
01:55:06.000 Did you see the Queen movie?
01:55:08.000 No, I did not see it yet.
01:55:09.000 I haven't seen it either.
01:55:10.000 I heard it's very good, though.
01:55:12.000 You heard it's very good.
01:55:13.000 Did you ask the person who told you that why it's good?
01:55:17.000 Yes, yes.
01:55:18.000 And what did they share?
01:55:19.000 They said, first of all, the guy who plays Freddie Mercury apparently is brilliant in it.
01:55:23.000 Had they seen Freddie live?
01:55:26.000 No, not live.
01:55:27.000 I saw Freddie live at the Forum.
01:55:29.000 I was in the maybe 20th row.
01:55:31.000 Wow.
01:55:31.000 Six in when Bohemian Rhapsody had just come out.
01:55:35.000 Oh my goodness.
01:55:36.000 Yeah, I saw him at his major, major prime there.
01:55:39.000 So I'm very curious as to, well, stagecraft is one thing, but what Freddie was and what he brought was way more than what you saw on stage.
01:55:48.000 Yeah.
01:55:49.000 Yeah?
01:55:49.000 What was he bringing?
01:55:51.000 Yeah.
01:55:53.000 Well, his sensibilities in terms of music weren't just three chords and an attitude.
01:55:59.000 And don't fall for that shit either.
01:56:01.000 If Keith ever sits here and tries that shit, it's all right, Rogan.
01:56:05.000 He just made three chords and an attitude.
01:56:08.000 Yeah.
01:56:09.000 And you need to know the inversions of each one, all seven modal...
01:56:14.000 Fuck you, Keith.
01:56:15.000 What I need is...
01:56:16.000 Because he does know all those and the trick tunings and whatever.
01:56:19.000 Yeah.
01:56:20.000 Freddie...
01:56:21.000 Brought a whole wealth of listening to different kinds of music, whether it was orchestral, big band, bistro.
01:56:32.000 That's bistro, what do you call it, musette?
01:56:39.000 Small, something you might hear in a coffee shop in France.
01:56:43.000 Well, his music was so different.
01:56:46.000 His singing was so different than anything else from his era.
01:56:50.000 When you listen to We Are the Champions...
01:56:52.000 He didn't try to sing Black.
01:56:55.000 Okay.
01:56:56.000 He sang Freddie Mercury.
01:56:57.000 He sang European...
01:57:00.000 Non-black.
01:57:01.000 What we're very used to, even in country.
01:57:05.000 I had a very famous black producer, African American producer, say to me, David Lee, do you know what it means to be a black man in the United States today?
01:57:14.000 Every time I step up to the mic.
01:57:17.000 I try.
01:57:19.000 That's what I grew up with.
01:57:21.000 Trying to sound like Motown.
01:57:22.000 Trying to sound like Wilson Pickett.
01:57:24.000 Trying to sound like...
01:57:25.000 And on and on.
01:57:27.000 That voter block had such an impact on music, much less the overall culture.
01:57:33.000 And comedy as well.
01:57:35.000 I mean, if I had to vote for one greatest all-time comedian, it would be Pryor.
01:57:39.000 The greatest of all time.
01:57:40.000 I would have to say he's in the running.
01:57:43.000 I mean, if it's not him, I don't know who it is.
01:57:47.000 I'll agree with that.
01:57:48.000 And there's so many.
01:57:49.000 When you look at African American stand-up comedians and the contribution in terms of like...
01:57:54.000 The overall numbers, the top ten, a giant chunk of them were black.
01:58:00.000 A giant chunk.
01:58:01.000 Chappelle, Chris Rock, definitely Pryor.
01:58:04.000 A lot of guys forget about Bernie Mac.
01:58:06.000 Bernie Mac was a goddamn genius.
01:58:08.000 A lot of people don't know about Robin Harris.
01:58:10.000 Robin Harris was a huge influence to people in the 90s.
01:58:13.000 The 80s and the 90s.
01:58:14.000 When he died, he died, I think, in the early 90s.
01:58:18.000 You're illuminating for the audience, but here you're preaching to the already convinced judge.
01:58:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:58:24.000 Well, I think it's because of the...
01:58:26.000 I grew up with comedy records.
01:58:28.000 Yeah.
01:58:28.000 Okay.
01:58:29.000 Red Fox.
01:58:30.000 Red Fox.
01:58:31.000 And you can still hear Red doing on the classic comedy channel on Sirius XM, and his shit is still funny.
01:58:40.000 Still good.
01:58:42.000 Let's revisit.
01:58:43.000 Is it the delivery system?
01:58:46.000 Yeah.
01:58:47.000 It's everything.
01:58:48.000 Or the thing because...
01:58:49.000 You can't separate them.
01:58:50.000 I started imitating Red Fox when I was probably 12 years old.
01:58:54.000 Yeah.
01:58:59.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:59:00.000 I still do it!
01:59:01.000 And you know, Bill Cosby was obviously a horrible person, in retrospect, but his art form, his artwork, was amazing.
01:59:10.000 Comedy records, you memorized word for word.
01:59:13.000 You memorized Richard Pryor.
01:59:14.000 You memorized Red Fox.
01:59:16.000 You memorized Bill Cosby.
01:59:18.000 And you memorized Rodney Dangerfield.
01:59:20.000 Oh, yeah.
01:59:21.000 Okay, those are the four horsemen.
01:59:23.000 And when you run out of conversation at a beer-soaked frat party, high school, whatever, which is in about two sentences, you either quote your favorite movies.
01:59:35.000 That's how you would converse as guys.
01:59:37.000 Hey, you know that scene where he fucking blows them away?
01:59:39.000 Fucking A, fucking A, dude!
01:59:41.000 And you express ourselves, or you go, you know, I can't get no respect.
01:59:46.000 Yeah.
01:59:47.000 Yeah.
01:59:48.000 And doctor told me I have to run...
01:59:50.000 I even try this with the staff.
01:59:53.000 I say, David, how you doing?
01:59:55.000 I say, yeah, man.
01:59:56.000 Doctor told me I had to run a mile a day and then call him 10 days later.
02:00:02.000 And?
02:00:03.000 Well, I'm calling you.
02:00:04.000 I'm 10 miles away.
02:00:07.000 Rodney Dangerfield.
02:00:09.000 You learned comedy records.
02:00:11.000 And you sat around the record player...
02:00:15.000 And learned it.
02:00:16.000 I don't think people do that anymore.
02:00:17.000 No, no.
02:00:18.000 That was a thing, man.
02:00:19.000 When I was a kid, we used to listen to Cheech and Chong.
02:00:21.000 Big Bamboo would all sit around and listen to the record.
02:00:25.000 Yeah, man.
02:00:25.000 And that was a different one, too, because they weren't even doing stand-up.
02:00:28.000 That was a completely unique thing.
02:00:31.000 They were doing sketch comedy on a record.
02:00:34.000 It's interesting that...
02:00:37.000 Pot culture, which is international now, okay, started with an Asian and a Hispanic.
02:00:45.000 Yeah, they fucking were the kings of it.
02:00:47.000 And you can, again, sideburns.
02:00:51.000 Yeah.
02:00:51.000 And when it was illegal.
02:00:53.000 Bell bottoms, we make fun.
02:00:54.000 Yeah.
02:00:54.000 But everybody on earth knows Cheech and Chong.
02:00:58.000 How many decades later?
02:00:59.000 How many decades later?
02:01:01.000 I went rock climbing.
02:01:02.000 As far away as humanly possible from anything ever, made by God, man, or others, a place called Arapoles.
02:01:11.000 It's about four hours north of Melbourne, out in the middle of nowhere.
02:01:15.000 Big sand-drip castles.
02:01:16.000 You can dial it up and find Arapoles.
02:01:19.000 And we had a couple of campers, like trucks, that we parked and we put up a tarp in the middle and campfire and whatever.
02:01:28.000 And I had a little television screen, and we plugged that into the car battery, okay?
02:01:36.000 And I went to the other campsites, because we'd fucked up, not brought enough whatever it was, water food or whatever.
02:01:43.000 That's Arapolis.
02:01:44.000 Wow.
02:01:44.000 And I went to the different campsites and invited everybody, you know, hey man, can I borrow a little of this?
02:01:50.000 Do you guys got any oatmeal or anything like this?
02:01:52.000 Yeah, we're going to be watching Cheech and Chong.
02:01:55.000 Okay.
02:01:56.000 Over on the far edge over there, you'll see us.
02:01:59.000 Come on over and join us.
02:02:02.000 From all over the world, you got guys from Thailand, you got girls from England.
02:02:06.000 Everybody knew Cheech and Chong.
02:02:08.000 It was the great leveler.
02:02:10.000 Wow.
02:02:10.000 All right.
02:02:11.000 And we sat there in sub-zero temperatures, swaddled in sleeping bags, laughing in seven languages.
02:02:17.000 Wow.
02:02:18.000 And Cheech and Chong.
02:02:20.000 Damn, look at them.
02:02:21.000 You don't even need subtitles.
02:02:22.000 Yeah.
02:02:23.000 You don't need to read the movie.
02:02:24.000 They're back together doing it again, which is amazing.
02:02:27.000 I gotta get those guys in here.
02:02:30.000 As long as they're talking to each other.
02:02:31.000 They'll make sure.
02:02:32.000 You never know.
02:02:33.000 Are they actually talking to each other?
02:02:35.000 I think they're actually touring.
02:02:35.000 Or has this gone Eddie and Dave?
02:02:38.000 It went Eddie and Dave for a while.
02:02:40.000 It definitely went Eddie and Dave for a while.
02:02:42.000 But they're back.
02:02:42.000 Yeah, they're back together.
02:02:44.000 They were touring quite a bit.
02:02:45.000 I think success brought them back together again.
02:02:47.000 They realized everybody wants to see Cheech and Chong.
02:02:50.000 Everybody doesn't really want to see Chong or Cheech.
02:02:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:02:53.000 I mean, not that everybody doesn't want to see them, but that the numbers are so different.
02:02:58.000 The numbers of people that, I mean, Tommy Chong is a very beloved guy, but together, they're exponentially more powerful.
02:03:05.000 It's the Everly Brothers.
02:03:06.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:03:08.000 Yes.
02:03:09.000 But the culture changed.
02:03:11.000 A man of his times, sometimes the times changes, and look how the times now represent that which they, you know, pre-whatever.
02:03:20.000 Yeah, I mean, those guys were doing something that was illegal.
02:03:24.000 This was illegal comedy.
02:03:25.000 There was illegal subject matter.
02:03:27.000 Today in Studio City, you could spend a 10-day vacation.
02:03:31.000 If you came from somewhere and just worked from the sushi bar to the dispensary, On Studio C, there's a space that's about two miles long.
02:03:39.000 You could spend ten days.
02:03:40.000 Come visit us from Japan.
02:03:44.000 Stay at the Marriott all the way near whatever at Universal, and you can just work from sushi bar to dispensary, from sushi bar to dispensary.
02:03:53.000 They're touring.
02:03:54.000 Look at that up on the screen.
02:03:55.000 There's a whole schedule.
02:03:57.000 And where are they working?
02:03:59.000 I can't read it.
02:04:00.000 It says they're in Richmond, B.C., at the River Rock Casino, in Vancouver, at the Hard Rock, South Lake Tahoe.
02:04:07.000 There's a bunch of places.
02:04:08.000 San Juan, Puerto Rico in the house.
02:04:10.000 What's the average age of comics today?
02:04:13.000 The best ones are in their 40s and 50s, it seems like, right now.
02:04:18.000 Really?
02:04:19.000 Yeah, between Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle...
02:04:21.000 Oh, you're right.
02:04:22.000 Okay, I'm buying that.
02:04:24.000 Yeah, all the best guys.
02:04:26.000 Joey Diaz, all the best guys are in their 50s.
02:04:28.000 Because it does change when you think like...
02:04:32.000 I don't know.
02:04:32.000 There's a lot of gangster movies on Netflix, right?
02:04:35.000 And when it's that, then the fellas are older.
02:04:39.000 They're wearing tuxedos.
02:04:41.000 They're in nightclubs like Cyril's kind of the 21 Club.
02:04:45.000 And then that changed to Comedy Cellar and something like that.
02:04:52.000 Today it's also about productivity.
02:04:54.000 You have to be able to put out material.
02:04:57.000 Because most of us are doing Netflix specials now, and most of us seem to be on a schedule of doing one every couple of years.
02:05:04.000 So you have to be able to turn over an hour every couple of years, and then take that hour and hammer that motherfucker down to a samurai sword.
02:05:11.000 Excuse me, a katana.
02:05:13.000 Polish that blade.
02:05:15.000 Hammer it down.
02:05:16.000 Polish that blade.
02:05:17.000 You have to have it, and then you have to know when to release it, which is one of the things that I ask, like, how do you know when you're writing a song like Running with the Devil?
02:05:23.000 How do you know when it's done?
02:05:24.000 Because with a bit, you kind of don't know because you do it differently all the time.
02:05:28.000 You fuck around with it on stage, and, you know, I'm a...
02:05:31.000 How long does it take to do an hour?
02:05:33.000 This is fascinating.
02:05:34.000 It changes.
02:05:35.000 It changes.
02:05:36.000 There's no real one thing.
02:05:38.000 Sometimes I've come up with a new hour in like four or five months, and sometimes it's taken me a whole year.
02:05:44.000 It's really different every time, depending upon how much effort I put into it, and also depending upon how lucky I get with subjects.
02:05:51.000 Sometimes there's a subject that's just rich, almost like you hit a gold mine.
02:05:55.000 I follow that.
02:05:57.000 You hit that mine, and you're like, There's so much here, and there's so many also branching off little rivers from this mine, this one initial mine.
02:06:05.000 So there's that.
02:06:06.000 You never know.
02:06:07.000 You never know.
02:06:07.000 It's hard to tell.
02:06:10.000 Fascinating.
02:06:11.000 You mess around with it.
02:06:12.000 It moves and changes.
02:06:14.000 I do it differently all the time.
02:06:15.000 You know, I'm a giant fan of Leonard Skinner.
02:06:17.000 And one of the things that I always thought was crazy about Skinner was their riffs.
02:06:21.000 When they would do guitar riffs, it was the same riff.
02:06:25.000 When they would do a solo, their solos were, like, orchestrated.
02:06:29.000 Like, they don't get enough credit for bringing...
02:06:34.000 Dynamic musical artists as well as these southern dudes that were just drinking and singing about whiskey and getting away from women like they're fat ugly dudes and most their songs about getting away from women like I gotta go I gotta be free I'm moving on call me the breeze it was so like I gotta get the fuck out of here before you lock me down that was a big part of their music but when you see like Like some of their,
02:06:58.000 like Freebird.
02:06:59.000 That Freebird solo, which is one of the greatest solos in the history of all music.
02:07:05.000 Well, there's some specific reasons for this.
02:07:07.000 Okay.
02:07:07.000 One of the more specific reasons is you had to build.
02:07:12.000 It has a beginning, a middle, a crescendo, an end.
02:07:16.000 There are specific names to this.
02:07:18.000 Okay.
02:07:18.000 Yeah.
02:07:20.000 When we moved to more channels in recording, when Leonard Skinner recorded all their early stuff as 8-track, and then you had to double up early Van Halen, same thing.
02:07:30.000 You had to compile your tracks or whatever.
02:07:33.000 You had to really walk in with your solo written, okay, and play, and you would work it until it really had a thing, and then crescendos.
02:07:43.000 Yeah.
02:07:43.000 Okay.
02:07:44.000 Once there were many tracks, guys would come in and just wing it and go, okay, let's try one.
02:07:50.000 Okay, great.
02:07:51.000 That's fine.
02:07:51.000 Let's do it again.
02:07:52.000 Track two.
02:07:53.000 And they just make it up as they go.
02:07:55.000 Okay?
02:07:56.000 And then when it's time to mix, they'll put a little of track two and a little of track six and start moving those channels in a way that you would never think To play the guitar.
02:08:09.000 For example, Ed started doing that on a couple of tracks.
02:08:14.000 Original solos, running with the devil.
02:08:18.000 These are thematic solos.
02:08:20.000 Most Beatles solos, thematic.
02:08:23.000 Listen to the solo and ain't talking about it.
02:08:28.000 These are thematic solos.
02:08:30.000 When it started going like this, he'd record six different versions of the solos.
02:08:37.000 Okay.
02:08:38.000 And then just start, move the channel.
02:08:40.000 Like here, turn this one on, turn this one off, turn this one on, turn this one.
02:08:43.000 And then he'd have to go learn the solo.
02:08:45.000 Wow.
02:08:46.000 So you'll see his hand move from down here to up here and down there.
02:08:50.000 Okay.
02:08:54.000 Wow.
02:09:08.000 That Wabasabi approached to making solos.
02:09:13.000 So it was a very oblique or unique kind of way of creating a solo.
02:09:19.000 It was utilizing the digital future, multi-tracking, and improvising.
02:09:26.000 As opposed to, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to create something like a book.
02:09:32.000 Here's the beginning, here's the scene, here are the characters, here's the conflict.
02:09:37.000 Instead, it's, let's just mix that all up together in interesting ways.
02:09:41.000 In literary, Burroughs came up with, Bill Burroughs many, many years ago, came up with the idea of writing a book, then clipping the pages into pieces, putting them all in a hat, then pull the pieces out one by one.
02:09:56.000 This is piece number one, this is piece number two, piece number three.
02:09:59.000 And that's the way you actually remember a story.
02:10:03.000 Huh.
02:10:04.000 I don't get that.
02:10:05.000 Okay.
02:10:05.000 You remember a wedding?
02:10:07.000 Yes.
02:10:08.000 You don't remember in sequence.
02:10:10.000 Right.
02:10:11.000 We had a batch party.
02:10:12.000 Then I got measured for the tuxedo.
02:10:15.000 Then I went here.
02:10:16.000 You remember, batch party, then putting the ring.
02:10:19.000 Then I was throwing up back behind the...
02:10:21.000 Oh, and then there was a car.
02:10:25.000 It doesn't come in sequential order.
02:10:28.000 Right.
02:10:28.000 Okay.
02:10:29.000 So it's another way of...
02:10:30.000 It's kind of a crafty way of writing an essay.
02:10:34.000 Mm-hmm.
02:10:36.000 Perhaps a bit difficult to digest, but movies are made that way now.
02:10:41.000 Tarantino starts in the middle.
02:10:43.000 Right, right.
02:10:43.000 Get used to it.
02:10:44.000 Yeah, he always does.
02:10:45.000 James Bond always starts in the middle of a chase.
02:10:48.000 Door flies open.
02:10:49.000 Whoa, these guys are...
02:10:51.000 Catch you off guard.
02:10:53.000 He's running across the top of a train, because they started, as opposed to, here's the field, horse walks onto the field, I see the cabin...
02:11:04.000 What I'm getting from this in regards to song making, in particular the way Eddie and you did it, was there's no shortcuts.
02:11:10.000 You know, and the fact that...
02:11:13.000 First of all, you know, he's one of the great masters, right?
02:11:17.000 Eddie Van Halen's one of the great masters.
02:11:19.000 If you have...
02:11:20.000 I mean, a hundred of the greatest guitar artists of all time in the history of the human race.
02:11:26.000 He's in that group.
02:11:27.000 Well, he certainly made a contribution commensurate with that.
02:11:30.000 Yeah, 100%.
02:11:31.000 So you have to have that, but then there's also no shortcuts, even when you're a great master.
02:11:35.000 No.
02:11:36.000 There's no shortcuts.
02:11:37.000 No, you will have to sharpen and sharpen and sharpen.
02:11:40.000 You described sharpening of sorts.
02:11:42.000 I visited a foundry where they make swords, north of Tokyo.
02:11:47.000 How was that?
02:11:47.000 Well, Harasan, his work goes in the museums.
02:11:52.000 That is one of the things that I really want to do.
02:11:54.000 Yeah, the old school foundry, four guys with hammers, super sweaty, hot, like visiting the 1600s.
02:12:03.000 Wow.
02:12:04.000 That's not who sharpens and polishes the sword.
02:12:08.000 That's my other friend who's 55 years old, lives in a suburb of Tokyo, and that's all he does for a living.
02:12:14.000 So they take the first sword to him, and then he sharpens it?
02:12:18.000 Yes.
02:12:19.000 Okay, and he's the one who makes it get that chrome finish.
02:12:22.000 So the man who forges it does not sharpen it?
02:12:24.000 Correct.
02:12:25.000 It's a different specialty.
02:12:26.000 Has that always been the case?
02:12:27.000 Yes.
02:12:28.000 And a sword polisher does the sharpening, and that's a specialty.
02:12:34.000 It requires certain stones from different parts of Japan.
02:12:37.000 You don't use wheels.
02:12:38.000 You use the old stones from the mountains, etc.
02:12:42.000 You use water from a wooden bucket, and you rub it with your hands.
02:12:46.000 He's 55 years old.
02:12:47.000 This is all he does for a living.
02:12:49.000 Museums from around the world.
02:12:51.000 Is there a video of this?
02:12:53.000 Yeah.
02:12:54.000 What's the gentleman's name?
02:12:54.000 I love him around.
02:12:56.000 We'll find it.
02:12:57.000 I'm stalling for a sec.
02:13:02.000 He lives in a very little apartment and he's got two gun safes.
02:13:06.000 Like you would use, you know, like Liberty gun safes?
02:13:09.000 Yeah.
02:13:10.000 And museums from all over the world send him swords.
02:13:14.000 Oh, here he goes.
02:13:15.000 Okay?
02:13:15.000 That become rusty humidity.
02:13:19.000 Oh, what is that?
02:13:20.000 Okay, this is a paste, and he's going to be using, that's what they use to laminate.
02:13:25.000 By putting paste on that sword, parts of it will cool differently.
02:13:33.000 Anyways, sharpening that sword takes forever.
02:13:36.000 That's what makes your patterns.
02:13:38.000 Oh, so they do it...
02:13:39.000 You want that edge a little different of hardness than you want the rest of the sword.
02:13:44.000 You clad it.
02:13:45.000 And what is that stuff he's pasting on it?
02:13:48.000 What was that stuff?
02:13:49.000 It's made of ash, and it's made of...
02:13:57.000 Ore.
02:13:58.000 Ore.
02:13:59.000 Wow.
02:14:00.000 And so when it heats up, is that when it becomes a part of the sword?
02:14:04.000 Mm-hmm.
02:14:05.000 Wow.
02:14:05.000 Well, he's going to laminate that, okay?
02:14:07.000 This is wild.
02:14:09.000 Oh, they got a scientist.
02:14:10.000 Look at this motherfucker with his lab coat.
02:14:12.000 He's examining.
02:14:13.000 You're going to ruin it.
02:14:13.000 Get him out of there.
02:14:14.000 Get that scientist the fuck out of there.
02:14:16.000 It's made from a certain kind of steel, tomahogany.
02:14:18.000 Okay.
02:14:20.000 And when you do the little padding like that, that's ash.
02:14:23.000 So he's putting little pieces of ash on it on purpose?
02:14:26.000 Yeah, that's a stone.
02:14:27.000 And that's how he's going to sharpen that.
02:14:30.000 And he'll spend hundreds of hours doing that on a sword, which is why they cost so much.
02:14:36.000 And there are many different kinds of stones that they'll use on different parts of the sword.
02:14:42.000 Can you dig?
02:14:43.000 The point at the top gets a different kind of stone in the middle of the sword, etc., It's amazing.
02:14:51.000 Japanese culture, and especially when you look into the ancient samurai culture, Book of Five Rings is one of my greatest all-time books.
02:15:00.000 I've read it dozens of times in my life.
02:15:03.000 But to put yourself in the mindset of someone with such a singular vision, to become a great samurai, he needed to become a No, just like your kids.
02:15:23.000 Yeah.
02:15:25.000 Kids got to take chess lessons or go.
02:15:28.000 Or go.
02:15:29.000 Go lessons.
02:15:30.000 Okay.
02:15:31.000 They got to learn to paint and draw.
02:15:33.000 Yeah.
02:15:33.000 Got to learn some martial arts.
02:15:35.000 Yeah.
02:15:36.000 Multiple languages.
02:15:37.000 This is a liberal arts education as seen through the eyes of somebody in the 1500s.
02:15:42.000 It's just I'm so fascinated with Japanese culture because so many things came from that one small island.
02:15:48.000 I mean, in terms of, like, martial arts contributions, I mean, it is probably...
02:15:54.000 There's a bunch of contributors, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Chinese Kung Fu and Western boxing, but goddamn, you look at the contributions of Japan.
02:16:04.000 I mean, overwhelming.
02:16:06.000 Just overwhelming between Judo and Jiu-Jitsu and so many different martial arts.
02:16:10.000 Karate, there's so many different styles that were perfected in this one small place.
02:16:16.000 Okay, it's an island.
02:16:18.000 I agree with you.
02:16:19.000 And that lends itself towards drilling down, burrowing in, really digging in.
02:16:26.000 Yeah.
02:16:27.000 If somebody is going to make a sword, it takes six different people to make one sword.
02:16:34.000 The person who makes the handle is not the person who wraps the handle.
02:16:39.000 The person who makes the sword is not the one who sharpens it.
02:16:45.000 The collar, the furniture on the sword, the peg that holds it in, that gold collar, that's a different person.
02:16:53.000 And the person who makes the scabbard for the sword is a different person.
02:16:59.000 You want me to keep going?
02:17:00.000 No.
02:17:00.000 Yes, I mean.
02:17:01.000 It's an age of specialization.
02:17:03.000 Yeah.
02:17:03.000 Started for them many, many decades ago.
02:17:06.000 Yeah.
02:17:06.000 The idea of, I'm one man and I'll build everything in the cabin.
02:17:12.000 Alone in the Wilderness.
02:17:14.000 Great movie.
02:17:14.000 Comes from 1960s.
02:17:16.000 The fellow who builds the cabin.
02:17:17.000 And uses handmade tools to do it.
02:17:20.000 Up in the woods, right?
02:17:21.000 I'll dig the well, I'll plant the potatoes, I'll build the house, I'll create the hearth, I'll fish the fish, I'll hunt the elk, etc.
02:17:29.000 And the Japanese, perhaps, as well as other neighborhoods, said, I'm just going to specialize in elk.
02:17:40.000 And somebody else said, I just like to cook, if that's okay.
02:17:47.000 And somebody else said, I'm not even going to cook it.
02:17:51.000 I'm going to eat it raw.
02:17:55.000 Have you ever fucked around with archery?
02:17:58.000 Oh, a million years ago, you know, with scouts, whatever.
02:18:03.000 That seems like something that would be right up your alley.
02:18:06.000 It's an act of doing it without doing it.
02:18:10.000 Yes, it is a mind-cleansing thing, too.
02:18:13.000 I think it would be perfect for you.
02:18:15.000 I saw you have a virtual reality range out there.
02:18:20.000 Oh, wait a minute.
02:18:22.000 Yeah.
02:18:22.000 All right, officer.
02:18:23.000 I confess it's all coming back.
02:18:25.000 I saw you on TV filling the refrigerator or getting ready to fill the refrigerator with a bow and arrow or some such.
02:18:34.000 Tell me about this.
02:18:35.000 No, I bow hunt.
02:18:37.000 But you actually eat what you're shooting, right?
02:18:42.000 Oh, 100%.
02:18:43.000 Tell me.
02:18:43.000 Most of what I eat is elk meat or deer meat.
02:18:47.000 If you look at my diet on paper, it's probably 60% elk meat.
02:18:51.000 When did you begin this?
02:18:53.000 2012 was the first hunting trip I went on.
02:18:56.000 My good friend Steve Rinella took me on a trip on his television show Meat Eater and then I became obsessed.
02:19:01.000 Well, I was trying to figure out what I was doing because I had seen a bunch of factory farming videos and I was like, okay, I'm either going to become a vegetarian or I'm going to become a hunter.
02:19:10.000 Like, this is...
02:19:11.000 I follow that.
02:19:11.000 I can't be a part of this.
02:19:12.000 I follow that.
02:19:13.000 And so I became a hunter.
02:19:16.000 And first of all, the nutrition that you get from wild games...
02:19:20.000 You see a difference?
02:19:21.000 You feel the difference?
02:19:21.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:19:22.000 Everybody does.
02:19:23.000 I give it to my friends.
02:19:23.000 Strong red bull.
02:19:24.000 You just feel better.
02:19:25.000 It just feels amazing.
02:19:26.000 Really?
02:19:26.000 Yeah, it's so nutrient-dense.
02:19:28.000 It's red and rich.
02:19:30.000 You're eating an athlete.
02:19:31.000 You're eating a wild athlete that's running away from wolves and mountain lions.
02:19:35.000 I mean, it's just a different thing than a cow that's locked up in a cage or a pig that's locked up in a stall.
02:19:41.000 It makes stellar sense.
02:19:42.000 And they live a free life.
02:19:44.000 It's a wild animal.
02:19:45.000 There's no one telling them what to do or where to go.
02:19:48.000 And you've got to be able to sneak up in on them on the right wind with the right conditions and make sure you get a shot off on them.
02:19:55.000 Fascinating.
02:19:56.000 Yeah, I love it.
02:19:57.000 How often do you go out?
02:19:58.000 A couple times a year, usually two or three times a year.
02:20:00.000 And that provides for the freezer all the way?
02:20:03.000 Yeah, I have three commercial freezers in the back.
02:20:05.000 I'll show you after we're done.
02:20:06.000 I have two elk that are parsed up, and two elk and two axis deer in those freezers.
02:20:14.000 Yeah, each elk is several hundred pounds of meat, you know, and then I give a lot of it to my friends.
02:20:19.000 A good portion of my friends, they always get little packages of elk for me, elk sausage and elk roasts and all these different things.
02:20:27.000 I'm always giving people recipes, showing them how to eat it, showing them how to cook it.
02:20:31.000 It's interesting.
02:20:32.000 That's the most modern way, is the classic.
02:20:36.000 I eat what I call rabbit food.
02:20:38.000 It's the croco diet, like a crocodile.
02:20:41.000 Birds, foliage...
02:20:45.000 One crocodile says to the other, what'd you have for breakfast?
02:20:48.000 A chicken?
02:20:49.000 Ending the slow.
02:20:50.000 What was it sitting in?
02:20:52.000 Wheat?
02:20:57.000 What'd you have, fish?
02:20:59.000 What'd you catch it in, seaweed?
02:21:01.000 But that seems to serve me.
02:21:04.000 The Brady diet, everybody's talking about the Tom Brady diet.
02:21:07.000 What does he do?
02:21:08.000 Well, we call it eating clean.
02:21:11.000 He's not eating any processed food.
02:21:13.000 He's not eating any white bread.
02:21:15.000 He's eating oatmeal and clean proteins, you know, no fried stuff.
02:21:20.000 He's in his 40s, which is crazy.
02:21:22.000 Yeah.
02:21:23.000 Is he a miracle?
02:21:25.000 It's something.
02:21:25.000 It's special, huh?
02:21:26.000 And when you look at his body, he looks like a guy at the beach, like a regular guy.
02:21:31.000 He doesn't look like a super athlete, one of the greatest football players of all time.
02:21:36.000 Are we seeing?
02:21:48.000 I think there's so many factors.
02:21:50.000 When you deal with football, there's so many factors.
02:21:52.000 People are bigger.
02:21:53.000 People are stronger.
02:21:54.000 Well, I think with Tom Brady, I think it's training, intelligence, dedication, obsession, and then also nutrition.
02:22:02.000 All those factors.
02:22:04.000 But you have to really be...
02:22:05.000 There's no way to be as good as he is without being incredibly immersed in whatever you're trying to excel at.
02:22:11.000 There's no way.
02:22:11.000 And with Alex Honnold, I mean, the guy lives out of his van because he wants to live out of his van because all he wants to do is just drive around to different mountains and climb them.
02:22:20.000 I mean, that's his thing.
02:22:21.000 For me, it was the surfers.
02:22:22.000 Yeah.
02:22:24.000 1960s, exact same lifestyle.
02:22:27.000 They needed to be on the water.
02:22:28.000 He's a vertical surfer.
02:22:29.000 Conquistadors of the useless, they call themselves sometimes.
02:22:32.000 Vertical surfer, that's it, yeah.
02:22:33.000 He's a vertical surfer.
02:22:34.000 For me, it was, you know, we're going to go camp at San Onofre.
02:22:38.000 Yeah.
02:22:39.000 If you talk to surfers, there's something...
02:22:42.000 There's a weird, corny way to put it, but I haven't talked to all of them, obviously, but a lot of high-level surfers like Kelly Slater or my good friend Shane Dorian, they're spiritual in some strange way.
02:22:56.000 They're at peace in some strange way.
02:22:58.000 And I think part of it is because they're constantly on that ocean.
02:23:02.000 And I think the ocean is like a battery.
02:23:04.000 I think you get energy out of it.
02:23:06.000 I think it's alive.
02:23:07.000 It feels alive.
02:23:09.000 I think it stimulates you in a very unique way.
02:23:12.000 And with those guys, they're riding these immense waves, these creations of nature and gravity and force and mass and water.
02:23:22.000 And they're riding them.
02:23:24.000 And they're riding a living thing.
02:23:25.000 There's organisms in it.
02:23:27.000 It's filled with salt.
02:23:29.000 I mean, it charges the body.
02:23:30.000 It's got a different frequency than the rest of the world.
02:23:34.000 And these guys, they seem different.
02:23:37.000 There's a different vibe about them, a more content vibe.
02:23:41.000 I've always said there's something about beach towns.
02:23:44.000 Why is everybody by the beach so fucking chill?
02:23:47.000 What is that?
02:23:47.000 You're right.
02:23:48.000 Something crazy.
02:23:49.000 Beach music isn't chill.
02:23:50.000 Well, Jack Johnson is, but you know what I'm saying.
02:23:53.000 Classic surf music is...
02:23:55.000 Yeah, I guess it's some...
02:23:58.000 Sounds like the waves.
02:23:59.000 Mimic the waves, yeah.
02:24:01.000 The way perhaps Dick Dale and the Deltones were imitating the way waves made you feel.
02:24:08.000 And now they're playing what it feels like to sit around the campfire on the beach.
02:24:13.000 Right.
02:24:14.000 Yeah.
02:24:17.000 Yeah, that kind of shit.
02:24:18.000 That's kind of a beach town, yeah.
02:24:19.000 A little bit.
02:24:20.000 Is it runner's high?
02:24:21.000 I don't know.
02:24:22.000 There's something about the people that live there.
02:24:22.000 Because we used to walk into the running stores and, you know, everybody behind the counter goes, oh, I did 10 today.
02:24:28.000 Yeah.
02:24:29.000 Hey, Ray.
02:24:30.000 And it stays with you.
02:24:32.000 Yeah, that's real.
02:24:32.000 That stays with you.
02:24:34.000 I ride my bicycle everywhere.
02:24:37.000 I'm on two wheels.
02:24:38.000 I've successfully replaced the automobile in Pasadena.
02:24:41.000 Really?
02:24:41.000 I gotta go to the 7-Eleven, I'm on the bicycle.
02:24:43.000 You still living in Pasadena?
02:24:45.000 Oh yeah.
02:24:45.000 I wanna go to the, you know, wherever you get on the bicycle.
02:24:50.000 Right.
02:24:50.000 In the rain, doesn't matter.
02:24:52.000 Really?
02:24:52.000 You don't drive a car?
02:24:55.000 In Pasadena, as infrequently as possible.
02:24:57.000 Wow.
02:24:58.000 And this is how I cross train, as opposed to, I'm gonna hire a coach and just stay on that bike.
02:25:07.000 What if you go to dinner somewhere?
02:25:10.000 Don't laugh.
02:25:11.000 Okay?
02:25:11.000 I'll take it to an extreme.
02:25:12.000 When I'm in New York City, I have my bike and everything set up over there, my bicycle and so forth.
02:25:18.000 Got a little apartment there.
02:25:20.000 I saw a scene in Dr. No.
02:25:22.000 Careful what you let your kids see it could be for life.
02:25:26.000 Sean Connery comes out of the ocean in one of those black neoprene wetsuits, right?
02:25:33.000 And he peels it off, and he's got a blue tuxedo on underneath without a drop of water on it.
02:25:41.000 Do I have to finish this?
02:25:42.000 Yeah.
02:25:43.000 No, I got my jumpsuits and I got my flight suits and everything.
02:25:47.000 More than once, I've gone to a club or a dinner.
02:25:51.000 I give the door guy or the parking guy or the valise, that's my bike chained up over there in the corner.
02:25:56.000 It's $20.
02:25:58.000 Keep an eye out.
02:25:59.000 Don't let any pros snap that lock.
02:26:01.000 And I just stuff my backpack up under the bike like this.
02:26:04.000 I do this in the rain.
02:26:06.000 I do it in the snow.
02:26:07.000 I do it when somebody says the rain.
02:26:09.000 I go, yeah, like every kid in Hawaii.
02:26:10.000 There are no snow days in Hawaii.
02:26:12.000 Right.
02:26:13.000 It's raining.
02:26:13.000 Just assume it.
02:26:15.000 There are no snow days in the Dakotas.
02:26:17.000 It's snowing.
02:26:18.000 Yeah.
02:26:18.000 Go to school.
02:26:19.000 Yeah.
02:26:21.000 I've done this all over the world.
02:26:23.000 I take my bicycles with me wherever I go.
02:26:26.000 So when you were in Japan, you took a bike?
02:26:28.000 Oh, I know all of Tokyo bikes like I know the roof of my mouth.
02:26:31.000 Wow.
02:26:31.000 I can take you anywhere on those streets.
02:26:34.000 I know every alleyway.
02:26:36.000 I know all the ways downtown.
02:26:38.000 I would routinely make a two-hour trip to my art lessons from where I lived all the way downtown into Ebisu and all the way back like that.
02:26:47.000 When you drive around today as opposed to in the old days before cell phones, do you notice a difference with people paying attention?
02:26:54.000 Text moves.
02:26:55.000 Yeah.
02:26:55.000 I know that getting off the line could take a week depending You can see, you know, the light changes and counting on how long it takes is everybody's got to sign off their phone, turn off the computer, do as or whatever.
02:27:12.000 By and large, what I have noticed is that when people are watching you, they no longer have their hands in their pockets and pretend to be whistling.
02:27:24.000 Now you pretend to stare into your cell phone.
02:27:26.000 That's true.
02:27:27.000 You fall when a fan or somebody is watching you.
02:27:30.000 Instead of you going...
02:27:31.000 That's 1960s.
02:27:35.000 Now they look at their phone like you pretend.
02:27:37.000 More often than not, I'm the only guy who's actually present in a place.
02:27:42.000 I walk into a coffee shop.
02:27:44.000 You don't carry a cell phone?
02:27:45.000 No.
02:27:45.000 I walk into a coffee shop or a restaurant or even a club, which is, essentially, a social experience, and everybody is staring into their cell phones at different banquets and different whatever.
02:28:02.000 More often than not, I'm the only one who's actually present.
02:28:06.000 Looking, seeing, hearing, smelling.
02:28:07.000 Have you ever meddled with those things?
02:28:10.000 Have you ever fucked with them?
02:28:12.000 And you decided it's not for you?
02:28:13.000 I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
02:28:15.000 Please do.
02:28:15.000 I'm very digitally literate.
02:28:18.000 I can fly a $6 million helicopter backwards.
02:28:21.000 Can you really?
02:28:22.000 Yes.
02:28:24.000 But it forces people to make eye contact.
02:28:27.000 You want to talk to me?
02:28:28.000 You have to sit just like this.
02:28:31.000 And you can't text me, because that's avoidance.
02:28:38.000 There's a whole lot of off-ramps I take out of the program.
02:28:41.000 What about email?
02:28:43.000 I don't.
02:28:44.000 You don't email?
02:28:45.000 Nope.
02:28:46.000 I'm surrounded by individuals.
02:28:48.000 And I know exactly what to ask for and what to about.
02:28:52.000 So what if they want to get a hold of you?
02:28:53.000 They have to go find you?
02:28:56.000 At no point in my life, like with yourself, I'm assuming, am I more than five feet away from somebody with a cell phone.
02:29:04.000 I was laughing.
02:29:06.000 It's like James Bond or some secret agent where even Miguel the Gardener has a smartphone.
02:29:13.000 Everyone has one.
02:29:14.000 He's going to pull a gun and defend me.
02:29:16.000 Did you ever carry them at one point and decide to stop carrying them?
02:29:20.000 Yes.
02:29:21.000 And it became a constant, as show people, we are targets.
02:29:29.000 Targets for love, targets for greed, targets for proximity, etc.
02:29:35.000 And it became a constant interruption.
02:29:39.000 It became a constancy in an effort to find my way to where Shane Dorian is.
02:29:46.000 I want to be out on that wave, man.
02:29:48.000 I want calm.
02:29:49.000 I want to live in New York City.
02:29:51.000 I want to live in the middle of the noise and the clamor.
02:29:55.000 And I want to be able to keep my heart rate down.
02:29:58.000 I want to be able to keep my waist down.
02:30:01.000 You dig?
02:30:02.000 Yeah.
02:30:04.000 I found myself constantly having to answer that phone and having to deal with, hey, man, how are you?
02:30:13.000 Cut to the crash.
02:30:15.000 And getting texted is avoidance.
02:30:20.000 Nine and a half times out of ten, it's just somebody who didn't really want to talk on the phone.
02:30:24.000 You hear this of, well, I texted you.
02:30:27.000 You're the only plan I'm landing today.
02:30:30.000 But at any given time, The guy driving the car, the assistant, even the gardener has a smartphone and everybody knows you can find me.
02:30:40.000 Yeah.
02:30:41.000 And you keep it that way.
02:30:42.000 Oh, yeah.
02:30:43.000 So what year was it where you decided to do this?
02:30:45.000 How long ago?
02:30:46.000 About four years ago.
02:30:48.000 Four years ago.
02:30:49.000 You bet.
02:30:49.000 So up until then, you were carrying the phone, doing the whole deal, and you went, I don't want this anymore.
02:30:54.000 It was constant phone ringing, constant having to check in, constant of...
02:31:00.000 I called you, how come you didn't call me back?
02:31:02.000 Right, right, right.
02:31:04.000 It became a leash.
02:31:06.000 Yeah.
02:31:06.000 It also indicates, you know, as you start to call over and over and over again, it's like a tracer, you follow.
02:31:16.000 Mm-hmm.
02:31:18.000 You have stalkers?
02:31:19.000 Sure.
02:31:20.000 Got a good one?
02:31:22.000 No, not right now.
02:31:23.000 I got stalkers.
02:31:24.000 Do you?
02:31:24.000 I got a stalker who makes prank calls.
02:31:26.000 Oh.
02:31:27.000 Okay?
02:31:27.000 I can tell you what time to get to work.
02:31:29.000 I can tell you what time he goes home.
02:31:31.000 I can tell you if he went to church and then brunch and what time he got home from that.
02:31:36.000 I can tell you if you had something to drink the night before and went home and slept it off the next day.
02:31:43.000 It's the nature of communications.
02:31:45.000 Remember, tracer bullets work both ways, boy.
02:31:49.000 You're going to indicate everywhere you are and everything you do and your entire thing of your life is very Orwellian.
02:31:55.000 Especially with social media, right?
02:31:57.000 Yeah.
02:31:57.000 And probably the last thing I want you to know about me is how boring I am.
02:32:03.000 I'm not kidding!
02:32:04.000 Well, there's also a thing of giving in to this non-human device and integrating it with your life.
02:32:14.000 Where people just, they never leave it alone.
02:32:17.000 They're constantly on it.
02:32:18.000 They're checking it.
02:32:19.000 You're not even getting anything out of it.
02:32:20.000 You're just checking it for nothing.
02:32:22.000 You're just checking your email, checking your photos, checking your Instagram.
02:32:25.000 There's nothing positive coming out of it.
02:32:28.000 It's just like this weird distraction from life.
02:32:30.000 Used to use the refrigerator for that.
02:32:32.000 Yes, right.
02:32:33.000 It's almost the same.
02:32:35.000 You're so right.
02:32:35.000 It's like a digital version of opening the refrigerator when you know nothing's in there.
02:32:39.000 Crazy.
02:32:40.000 That's so true.
02:32:42.000 It's so true.
02:32:43.000 It's like a boredom exercise.
02:32:45.000 Yeah.
02:32:45.000 It's a habit.
02:32:46.000 You just gotta reach for it or reach for it.
02:32:49.000 Do you have one just in case you have to use it?
02:32:52.000 I'm giving away all my secrets.
02:32:54.000 I am constantly...
02:32:57.000 In the grid.
02:32:58.000 Okay.
02:32:59.000 One of my closest colleagues that I work with two and three nights a week, Colin Smith, has written 17 books on how to run Adobe Photoshop.
02:33:10.000 We've been working on an art project together for quite some time.
02:33:14.000 We'll debut that at another time.
02:33:19.000 I love the internet.
02:33:20.000 I love what the DigiFuture has brought to us.
02:33:25.000 My only real regret in life is that I didn't have this growing up.
02:33:30.000 Go look it up.
02:33:31.000 I should have that tattooed and signed by my parents.
02:33:37.000 What?
02:33:39.000 Yeah, it's a great time for finding things out.
02:33:41.000 If you need information, if you want to learn.
02:33:44.000 The Encyclopedia Britannica was what we had.
02:33:47.000 Go look it up.
02:33:49.000 And Canterbury Records, in case you wanted some music, which was an hour's bike ride each way.
02:33:57.000 Okay.
02:33:58.000 I can keep going.
02:33:59.000 And now you can get music instantly.
02:34:01.000 Oh my God.
02:34:02.000 For somebody like me, when I was Flavor of the Week the first time, You know, I did all the rock star stuff.
02:34:11.000 And one of the first things that I wanted to do, because I'd read that Elton John did this, is you would get them to close the store.
02:34:18.000 Ah, yeah.
02:34:20.000 And you shop around by yourself?
02:34:21.000 Yeah.
02:34:22.000 And no, you got to have a security guy.
02:34:23.000 Of course.
02:34:24.000 Who brings a pillowcase.
02:34:26.000 Ah, you put the records on a pillowcase.
02:34:27.000 And with impunity, you pick your records.
02:34:31.000 You don't even read the liners.
02:34:34.000 If you have a good cover, you're in the case.
02:34:37.000 Yeah.
02:34:38.000 What is this?
02:34:39.000 Sit alone.
02:34:40.000 Asian something.
02:34:41.000 Yeah.
02:34:42.000 I remember that.
02:34:43.000 I used to buy records based on how cool the cover looked.
02:34:47.000 Oh, routinely.
02:34:47.000 So give it a chance.
02:34:49.000 Routinely.
02:34:50.000 Yeah.
02:34:50.000 Especially double album covers.
02:34:52.000 And, and, and, and.
02:34:54.000 And I would routinely, I would shop by weight.
02:34:58.000 I would do that at bookstores, too.
02:35:01.000 As much as we could carry coming out of the bookstores, because, for example, I like many different kinds of music.
02:35:09.000 One of my favorites is danceable electronica.
02:35:15.000 R&B, disco, anything that has, I call it floor.
02:35:19.000 If it has anything to do with dancing, it's floor.
02:35:21.000 And there were no floor stations here in California in the 70s.
02:35:26.000 You wanted to hear anything that's, you know, you had KJLH maybe, you know, some small AM kind of a station, but you went to New York.
02:35:35.000 You had, let me put the headphones on so I can do the voice.
02:35:40.000 This is Paco, WKTU, Shuttle Traffic.
02:35:47.000 This time, baby.
02:35:49.000 We're missing DJs, right?
02:35:51.000 Sorry?
02:35:51.000 We're missing DJs.
02:35:52.000 That's something that's missing from our culture.
02:35:54.000 Poppin' and poppin' and poppin' with the best bet for the boss beat at the top of the pop smash.
02:35:58.000 Gold, I'm Diamond Dave.
02:35:59.000 No time to waste making the taste, baby.
02:36:01.000 Shut up!
02:36:02.000 Time to play the record, baby.
02:36:03.000 Yeah.
02:36:04.000 Wolfman Jack.
02:36:07.000 Those guys are gone.
02:36:09.000 That's like a missing segment of our culture.
02:36:27.000 Here's the history of it.
02:36:29.000 During the Cold War, right around 1965-66, it became a legal imperative that all radio stations, regular ones, had to operate an FM band station.
02:36:43.000 FM had been around since the 1930s.
02:36:46.000 My Uncle Manny remembered it.
02:36:47.000 But it never got used.
02:36:48.000 It was AM radio.
02:36:53.000 KFWB! Channel 98. Right, right, right.
02:36:57.000 It was like the mighty 1090, you know, that kind of screaming DJ kind of thing.
02:37:03.000 Why?
02:37:03.000 Because, you know, in case there's a national emergency.
02:37:06.000 You were not allowed to take your normal programming, though, from KFWB and put it on your sister station on FM. Had to be different programming.
02:37:15.000 Okay?
02:37:16.000 You can't just dominate FM because you got the advertisers.
02:37:20.000 You're Channel 5. You got a lot of advertisers.
02:37:22.000 You got Earl Scheib Carpainter.
02:37:24.000 You have Rinso.
02:37:25.000 You've got Chase and Sanborn Coffee.
02:37:28.000 You're going to squeeze me.
02:37:29.000 Okay?
02:37:58.000 Right, right, right.
02:37:59.000 Kind of thing.
02:38:00.000 Or who would be a DJ for this kind of stuff?
02:38:03.000 I don't know.
02:38:03.000 Who's a non-screamer?
02:38:04.000 The jazz guys.
02:38:06.000 Okay.
02:38:07.000 They brought in Big Daddy Tom Donahue and his wife Rachel.
02:38:11.000 And they came there and they started broadcasting on KPPC. And Tom was a jazz DJ. And he would talk just kind of like this.
02:38:21.000 And he'd, okay, we got a new Quicksilver here.
02:38:30.000 Can't wait till it comes out in stereo.
02:38:35.000 Take a listen now to First Side.
02:38:40.000 See you in a few.
02:38:42.000 Yeah.
02:38:42.000 And we would practice that.
02:38:46.000 There's an art to that.
02:38:47.000 Oh, yeah.
02:38:48.000 There's an art to preparing you for a new song.
02:38:50.000 Oh, yeah.
02:38:51.000 Okay, got a brand new one here.
02:38:53.000 Yeah.
02:38:54.000 And he used the velvet hand like DJs, you know, like jazz.
02:38:59.000 Yeah.
02:38:59.000 Jazz guys back then, a lot of them were doing things that cause you to slow down.
02:39:12.000 You know what I mean?
02:39:14.000 And we started doing those things, too.
02:39:18.000 Wow.
02:39:19.000 Get a little gauge here.
02:39:23.000 A little strength of patience.
02:39:26.000 Joe knows what I mean.
02:39:28.000 I do.
02:39:28.000 Right after that.
02:39:30.000 And then it would set you up for the music.
02:39:32.000 You'd actually enjoy the music a little bit more because of that guy.
02:39:34.000 Oh, yeah.
02:39:35.000 Yeah.
02:39:36.000 It enhanced it.
02:39:37.000 Okay, here's a little something.
02:39:38.000 You were kind of co-conspiring.
02:39:40.000 If streaming services were smart, they would bring that shit back.
02:39:45.000 They'd find someone.
02:39:46.000 You know, because streaming services are the new radio, right?
02:39:49.000 I mean, that's where a lot of people get their music now.
02:39:51.000 Agreed.
02:39:51.000 Are you talking about Pandora and Spotify?
02:39:53.000 Yeah, all those things.
02:39:55.000 That's sort of what Apple's pitch was.
02:39:57.000 They have a whole radio section on Apple Music.
02:40:00.000 They have DJs?
02:40:02.000 Yeah, they have shows and...
02:40:04.000 Well, the DJ is...
02:40:05.000 Influencers are running them, but for the most part...
02:40:06.000 Yeah, but like as a sports net, what is it in the natural?
02:40:10.000 Okay.
02:40:11.000 Great movie, Bob Redford.
02:40:13.000 Duvall.
02:40:14.000 Duvall's a writer.
02:40:15.000 He's a writer.
02:40:16.000 And they get into a little bit of an argument.
02:40:18.000 He says, you don't play baseball.
02:40:21.000 He says, yeah, but...
02:40:22.000 On a good day, I can make it look a little bit more interesting.
02:40:26.000 I can make it a little more exciting.
02:40:28.000 To help you see what you...
02:40:29.000 To help you understand what...
02:40:31.000 I'm paraphrasing, of course.
02:40:32.000 Sure, that's what I do with color commentary.
02:40:34.000 Yes, exactly.
02:40:37.000 And that's an art form that implicates everything.
02:40:40.000 Drama, pathos, hilarity, all in one paragraph.
02:40:45.000 Yeah.
02:40:46.000 I've watched you go from...
02:40:48.000 Yeah.
02:40:51.000 Yeah.
02:40:51.000 It's like flipping a channel.
02:40:53.000 Seamlessly.
02:40:55.000 I grew up with the great Scully Cosell.
02:40:58.000 So tell me, so tell me, Ali.
02:41:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:41:03.000 So Cassius, please, it's Ali.
02:41:05.000 Cassius, okay.
02:41:07.000 And we would imitate that voice.
02:41:09.000 You know, trying to get that kind of an eloquence out of it, you know.
02:41:14.000 But...
02:41:16.000 You have DJs.
02:41:17.000 They're not really DJs.
02:41:19.000 They are representatives of a lifestyle.
02:41:22.000 For example, I'm going into DJ voice because I got the headphones on.
02:41:26.000 This is why I don't wear the headphones.
02:41:28.000 You've become too aware.
02:41:30.000 Yeah, the sun goes down.
02:41:33.000 I haven't been to sleep since the late 80s.
02:41:39.000 What was I talking about?
02:41:41.000 I started riffing there.
02:41:44.000 DJs now.
02:41:45.000 DJs now aren't really DJs.
02:41:48.000 When you listen, for example, to Sirius XM, you have, for example, the country artist.
02:41:55.000 Sure.
02:41:56.000 And it's No Shoes Radio.
02:41:58.000 And, you know, he's not a humorist.
02:42:03.000 Okay?
02:42:04.000 He's not even an interlocutor.
02:42:06.000 And behold, and so it came to pass, like in Greek tragedy, and so it came to pass that the sun came and the war was won.
02:42:13.000 He's not that.
02:42:15.000 It's Kenny Chesney going, and I say it with respect, you know.
02:42:20.000 Hi, this is Kenny, and I was just walking down here in Panama City, and my phone went dead.
02:42:25.000 No, I walked inside, and I asked these good fellas right here at the Joe Rogan Barbecue to fire it up, if I could just sort of charge it up, and they said, hell yeah.
02:42:34.000 So I just want to tell you, y'all come down to Rogan Barbecue, and see, you can always find us right here on No Shoes Radio.
02:42:41.000 Oh, so there's something.
02:42:42.000 It's not really...
02:42:44.000 It's not the same.
02:42:45.000 Do you follow?
02:42:46.000 It's not announcing.
02:42:47.000 He's kind of being.
02:42:49.000 Right.
02:42:50.000 Tom Petty.
02:42:51.000 He was a co-conspirator.
02:42:54.000 You know, like, hey, man, I'm down here in the basement, man.
02:42:57.000 I'm listening to some record.
02:42:58.000 Come on down.
02:42:59.000 We'll fire up the bong.
02:43:01.000 And check this out.
02:43:03.000 This is fucking tasty.
02:43:04.000 This is...
02:43:05.000 It's an import...
02:43:07.000 I had friends like that.
02:43:08.000 You did?
02:43:09.000 Well, they could choose the music, too.
02:43:10.000 That was the other thing about DJs.
02:43:12.000 They would choose the music.
02:43:14.000 I don't know if...
02:43:15.000 They were tastemakers.
02:43:16.000 Oh, well, the FM radio did.
02:43:17.000 Yeah.
02:43:18.000 You bet.
02:43:19.000 Yes, you bet.
02:43:20.000 And, yeah, that makes a big difference.
02:43:23.000 I did not think about that.
02:43:24.000 I was listening to WBCN in Boston.
02:43:26.000 It was, like, 1980s.
02:43:29.000 And they wanted to play Michael Jackson.
02:43:31.000 And the guy said, listen, I know this isn't rock.
02:43:34.000 Because WBCN was the rock of Boston.
02:43:36.000 Sure.
02:43:37.000 And they were like, look, I know this isn't rock, but damn, this is good music.
02:43:41.000 And they played Billie Jean.
02:43:42.000 I remember thinking, wow, what a bold choice.
02:43:45.000 Well, it's a bold choice in a certain sense, okay?
02:43:49.000 And the certain sense is that after a while, FM radio became very codified.
02:43:56.000 You know, just like the horse races.
02:43:58.000 Somewhere in the mid-70s, late-70s, it became a playlist.
02:44:02.000 And the DJs no longer picked their own records.
02:44:06.000 Program directors picked the records, okay?
02:44:09.000 Yeah.
02:44:10.000 And it became very specific.
02:44:12.000 Target demo.
02:44:14.000 We want a home in and whatever.
02:44:16.000 Now keep in mind when Howard Stern left regular radio, terrestrial radio for the stratosphere, I got his job in New York City.
02:44:27.000 Oh, that's right.
02:44:27.000 I was broadcasting in seven different cities.
02:44:31.000 I forgot you did that.
02:44:32.000 Okay, Dallas, New York, Philly I think I was in, etc., etc.
02:44:37.000 And It turns out I think what they wanted was a version of Howard Stern.
02:44:44.000 Okay, great.
02:44:44.000 It'll be a third-class Howard Stern or a first-class David Lee.
02:44:48.000 My approach to it is very different than his would be.
02:44:52.000 We're two very different people.
02:44:54.000 He's a personality.
02:44:56.000 It's all about interaction.
02:44:58.000 I see myself as show people.
02:45:01.000 I'm music first.
02:45:03.000 So the first thing I'm going to pick when we throw a barbecue is not the food or the guest list, but what's the music?
02:45:12.000 White people listen to Bob Marley when we're on vacation.
02:45:16.000 And when we celebrate things, we listen to Kool and the Gang.
02:45:20.000 And I would play those and the ratings were going up and they were pissing off management.
02:45:26.000 Really?
02:45:27.000 Well, they said, we feel that Leonard Skinner and Nickelback are more appropriate for your audience.
02:45:31.000 So the ratings were going up and they were upset?
02:45:34.000 Yes.
02:45:35.000 And because you couldn't rein me in, okay?
02:45:39.000 Now, keep in mind, I hired Cool and the Gang to open for Van Halen tour before last.
02:45:44.000 You have never seen so many people dancing in one place.
02:45:50.000 Celebration.
02:45:50.000 Because that's the sound of every wedding, bar mitzvah, prom, bachelor party.
02:45:58.000 Because this is ladies' night.
02:45:59.000 Right.
02:46:00.000 And the feeling...
02:46:16.000 Oh, what did I... Well, what you say and what is real.
02:46:20.000 Yeah, that's the problem, right?
02:46:22.000 We discussed doing commercials, for example.
02:46:25.000 And I don't feel comfortable doing commercials unless it's something I actually use, you know, like sunglasses or cigarettes.
02:46:32.000 Right.
02:46:33.000 Beyond that, you know...
02:46:37.000 Vermont Care Bear kind of a thing.
02:46:39.000 I don't know.
02:46:40.000 Right.
02:46:40.000 So it was uncomfortable from the beginning.
02:46:43.000 I got fired for playing too much ethnic music and for late night humor too early in the morning.
02:46:50.000 But that was Howard Stern's whole deal was late night humor.
02:46:53.000 No, it's not.
02:46:54.000 It's a different kind of humor.
02:46:56.000 What was your deal as opposed to his?
02:46:59.000 Well, whenever we brought on porn stars, I actually knew them.
02:47:07.000 We'd already gone through the getting to know you phase seasons earlier.
02:47:13.000 Did they expect you to do all talk or did they want you to play music as well?
02:47:16.000 No, it's just my sense of humor is different, unique, as is his and as is yours.
02:47:22.000 We have a league of imitations in our end of the business in broadcasting, okay?
02:47:29.000 But...
02:47:31.000 There's no snare drum and hi-hat, nor is there for Howard, you follow.
02:47:37.000 Again, I start with the music.
02:47:41.000 I start with the ambiance.
02:47:44.000 And if humor arises or personalities arise or we have guests, great.
02:47:48.000 If we don't, that's fine, too.
02:47:52.000 And I think they expected others.
02:47:56.000 What I showed up with was...
02:47:59.000 It also ranged...
02:48:01.000 It wasn't always funny.
02:48:04.000 Do you think that it was just maybe something you would have excelled at if they had different expectations?
02:48:10.000 Like, instead of following Howard Stern, they just did the David Lee Roth show.
02:48:13.000 Oh, you bet.
02:48:14.000 Do you think you'd still be doing it?
02:48:16.000 Yes.
02:48:17.000 Really?
02:48:18.000 Yeah.
02:48:18.000 Wow.
02:48:19.000 Yeah.
02:48:19.000 Their expectations was the funny, the funny, interview the guests, have pop...
02:48:26.000 Culture funny guests right in the subject matter just as we've touched on subjects here that are Hilarious and subjects are pretty dense Yeah, as I call it, you know, it's gonna detonate halfway down the turnpike.
02:48:36.000 Oh, that's what he fucking meant Mmm.
02:48:39.000 Yeah, it's not stuff.
02:48:40.000 That's gonna go away real quick Do you have you thought about doing that now?
02:48:43.000 Like what if Apple came to you or one of these streaming services came to you and wanted to do something like that?
02:48:48.000 They always arrive with expectations and And the expectations, just as we discussed the three phases of Anna Nicole Smith and Elvis, which Dave are you referring to?
02:49:01.000 Right, right, right.
02:49:02.000 Well, I just think with someone like you, I mean, I'm not a program director, but if I was, I would say just let him be him.
02:49:09.000 Just figure it out.
02:49:10.000 Just give it time to grow.
02:49:12.000 That's what people don't do.
02:49:14.000 They meddle.
02:49:15.000 They meddle.
02:49:17.000 Look, from what I know of you, you're going to do your best at everything.
02:49:23.000 Everything you do, you're going to do your best.
02:49:26.000 If I was going to hire you, that's what I would say.
02:49:28.000 Everybody get the fuck away from him.
02:49:30.000 He's going to do his best.
02:49:31.000 Now let him hire who he wants to hire and do what he wants to do and put what he wants to put on and let him figure it out.
02:49:36.000 But you hired David Lee Roth.
02:49:38.000 You didn't hire Mike Fitzgerald and Ken Buchanan or whoever the fuck the other people are that work in the office that also want the jizz and the soup.
02:49:46.000 No, you hired David Lee Roth.
02:49:48.000 Let David Lee Roth be David Lee Roth and let it find his legs.
02:49:52.000 That's a difficult entity because it comes with a lot of history.
02:49:57.000 And then the folks will start conducting.
02:50:01.000 Well, you've got to play this.
02:50:03.000 You've got to play this.
02:50:04.000 And it has a very specific expectation, usually.
02:50:08.000 However, in this age, there's a lot of freedoms.
02:50:12.000 There's a lot of...
02:50:14.000 You know, what you're discussing is something that I think about occasionally.
02:50:18.000 So it seems like something you'd be open to.
02:50:20.000 Yeah.
02:50:20.000 Maybe I could get you a job just from this particular interview.
02:50:23.000 I would be very open to it.
02:50:26.000 You know, they've approached me before to talk about it.
02:50:33.000 My interest in music is diverse, but it's energized.
02:50:38.000 Switched on.
02:50:39.000 Do you know Henry Rollins?
02:50:40.000 Of course.
02:50:41.000 You know, he does his own radio show and he picks his own playlist.
02:50:44.000 It's like one of the last few things that a person like him is able to do like that.
02:50:49.000 And he does it once a week, right?
02:50:51.000 I think so, yeah.
02:50:52.000 I think one night a week he does.
02:50:53.000 And he loves it.
02:50:55.000 Something else that people have approached me for is writing a column.
02:50:59.000 Some of the good magazines have approached me.
02:51:02.000 Big ones.
02:51:03.000 About becoming a writer.
02:51:05.000 Is that interesting to you?
02:51:06.000 You bet.
02:51:07.000 Yeah, it seems like it would be.
02:51:08.000 You bet.
02:51:09.000 It's a different sound when I write.
02:51:13.000 It's in a bit of a different voice.
02:51:18.000 It's...
02:51:19.000 My sense of humor comes out a little bit more in terms of darkness.
02:51:24.000 I remember reading an article in New York Magazine's Farbags 1968. I don't remember the element.
02:51:31.000 The fellow was the theater critic for New York Magazine, and the title was In Defense of Booing.
02:51:38.000 Wow.
02:51:40.000 Interesting.
02:51:41.000 Why do we always have to tolerate clapping, especially for shitty performances?
02:51:45.000 Right.
02:51:45.000 There's the clapper who claps because they're part of the gang.
02:51:48.000 And there's the clapper who yells bravo so that they exist.
02:51:51.000 I am heard.
02:51:54.000 And he talks about how, you know, he gets thrown out of an opera for booing and everybody knew.
02:52:00.000 Theater critic for 36 years at New York Magazine.
02:52:05.000 Wow.
02:52:06.000 You know.
02:52:06.000 In Italy, they permit booing, and I support that.
02:52:10.000 America stands alive.
02:52:11.000 Well, that kind of sneaks in, not just as a form of negative targeting, but as a form of elevating.
02:52:22.000 You dig?
02:52:23.000 You don't go to the golf swing guy, put on all the electrodes.
02:52:27.000 They do the slow motion thing so you can go, you're great, Joe.
02:52:30.000 No, he wants to go, see, your wrist.
02:52:32.000 Right, right, right.
02:52:34.000 See what you're doing with the elbow?
02:52:35.000 Yeah.
02:52:36.000 You're making a mistake.
02:52:37.000 Exactly.
02:52:37.000 He's there to identify the flaw.
02:52:39.000 Right.
02:52:40.000 If there's no flaws, there's no booing.
02:52:43.000 You know, a lot of folks are going to go, Jesus, man, you concentrate on the negative.
02:52:48.000 I love booing as much as going yay.
02:52:51.000 In fact, I can think of certain heavy metal records that we could discuss on the airplane from LA to New York.
02:53:00.000 That's a five-hour flight.
02:53:01.000 And I could discuss the record endlessly as long as we're going boo.
02:53:05.000 If we're discussing what's wrong with it, you can go for five hours.
02:53:10.000 What's great about it, how long are you going to sustain that?
02:53:13.000 20 minutes?
02:53:14.000 It's really smart.
02:53:18.000 And smart.
02:53:25.000 The criticism, you know, identifying the flaw is not negative.
02:53:29.000 I'm having a ball over here.
02:53:33.000 A good example is Ed Wood's monster movies.
02:53:37.000 You see the string, you see the smoke, you see the flying saucer, it looks fake.
02:53:42.000 That's a version you feel smugly superior.
02:53:44.000 You always say, ah, look at that thing.
02:53:46.000 That's a form of buoy.
02:53:49.000 Yeah.
02:53:50.000 Now, today, if people weren't doing that, you wouldn't have Black Panther.
02:53:55.000 You wouldn't have Spider-Man.
02:53:56.000 You wouldn't have Avengers and all the amazing special effects and CGI and everything else.
02:54:02.000 It's because of high expectations.
02:54:04.000 Oh, it's just somebody going, I see the string!
02:54:06.000 Right, right, right.
02:54:07.000 Yeah.
02:54:07.000 Joe!
02:54:09.000 Yeah.
02:54:10.000 All right, let me invent computers and I'll get back to you.
02:54:14.000 David Lee Roth, we just did three hours.
02:54:16.000 Can you believe that?
02:54:17.000 Time flies when you don't know what you're doing, Joe.
02:54:20.000 You know what you're doing, you sly son of a bitch.
02:54:22.000 Doing nothing means a lot to me.
02:54:24.000 Did we really nail three hours?
02:54:26.000 Yeah, we really did.
02:54:27.000 Tell people one more time about your product line and what website it is.
02:54:30.000 Inc!
02:54:31.000 The original.
02:54:32.000 And please say it that way.
02:54:33.000 Ink.
02:54:34.000 The original.
02:54:35.000 Ink.
02:54:35.000 The original.
02:54:36.000 Not theatric enough?
02:54:37.000 Ink.
02:54:37.000 The original.
02:54:39.000 Oh, she's pretty.
02:54:39.000 That's a good move.
02:54:40.000 There you go.
02:54:40.000 Get a pretty girl and sell your shit.
02:54:42.000 We make it for everybody who's got ink.
02:54:44.000 Anybody who's got tattoos and stuff.
02:54:47.000 Virtually everything that you're going to use in the boudoir, the bathroom, anything you're going to put in the locker.
02:54:52.000 But especially that brightener, man.
02:54:54.000 That stuff's the shit.
02:54:56.000 That will read.
02:54:57.000 Boom.
02:54:58.000 No more rubbing it with your finger, etc.
02:55:01.000 And we got a whole product line coming in.
02:55:03.000 Laugh to Win is the name of the company.
02:55:04.000 I'm going to order today.
02:55:05.000 I'm going to order a bunch of shit today.
02:55:06.000 Oh, you don't have to order.
02:55:07.000 We'll have it delivered.
02:55:08.000 I'm going to order just because I love you.
02:55:09.000 God bless.
02:55:10.000 David Lee Roth, you're a bad motherfucker.
02:55:12.000 Thank you for being here.
02:55:13.000 Joe, that's a very special belt to wear.
02:55:16.000 Thank you, sir.
02:55:18.000 David Lee Roth, ladies and gentlemen.
02:55:19.000 Good night.
02:55:30.000 Thank you.