The Joe Rogan Experience - March 20, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1269 - Bryan Callen


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 48 minutes

Words per Minute

189.20833

Word Count

31,787

Sentence Count

3,791

Misogynist Sentences

73

Hate Speech Sentences

59


Summary

Comedian Brian Callan joins Jemele to talk about his new album and why he doesn t wear watches. He also talks about how he got into stand-up comedy and what it's like to be a comedian in the big city of New York. Plus, he talks about why he's not a fan of the dating pool and what he's looking for in a significant other. And, of course, there's a quiz from Jemele. Thanks to our sponsor, VaynerSpeakers! Check them out here! The 500 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New Artist/Song influenced by The 500: An International Menace is out now! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with all things Native Creative! Produced and edited by Riley Bray. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Artwork by Jeff Kaale. Thank you to my good friend Brian Callen for the intro and outro music, and thanks to all the people who helped make this episode possible. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review, subscribe, rate and subscribe to our podcast, and tell a friend about what you think of it! we'll be listening to it on Apple Podcasts, and we'll get a shoutout in next week's episode on the next episode of Gimlet Media's new podcast, "The Good Morning America's "Good Morning America" coming soon! and "Good Life" coming out on Tuesday, July 17th, July 18th, 2019. Thank you for all the best of all the good vibes out there! - Thank you, bye. - Brian, Brian, Jeebus. XOXO. xoxo, Sarah, Sarah & Cherie - Sarah, Evan, Jake, Jack, Jaxon, Jazmin, and Kacie, Raffy, and Jacklyn, Margo, & Chacho, Jr. ( ) and Jonny, & Kacchos, Brian, Marnie, Jadynne, Rachael, Rene, and Ben, Sr. & Chiamu, Jr., etc., etc. , etc., etc. etc. - etc. <3 Thanks so much for listening to this episode.


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:11.000 Yes, and we're live.
00:00:12.000 Brian Callen, we are live on the internet.
00:00:15.000 In cashmere right now, everybody.
00:00:17.000 In cashmere.
00:00:18.000 How come you don't wear watches?
00:00:19.000 You were just saying...
00:00:20.000 I don't wear...
00:00:20.000 I was thinking...
00:00:21.000 I was saying to Brennan, I go, you could rob my house and there's nothing you'd find of value.
00:00:25.000 Like, there's not a fucking thing.
00:00:27.000 Steal your car.
00:00:28.000 Oh, no.
00:00:30.000 Oh, no.
00:00:32.000 But you wonder why you make money then?
00:00:36.000 You have a lot of money, right?
00:00:37.000 You can probably not work for years.
00:00:40.000 Yeah, I make money.
00:00:42.000 But I was thinking about that too.
00:00:46.000 Genuinely, I did some soul searching about this because I watched how motivated Shab is.
00:00:51.000 He's so buttoned down about his stuff.
00:00:53.000 He's just always coming up with ideas.
00:00:54.000 I don't think I ever gave two fucks for real about Fame or money?
00:01:01.000 And I still don't.
00:01:03.000 I have a very precarious relationship with that.
00:01:05.000 What I love is coming up with new ideas and writing new stand-up.
00:01:09.000 And, you know, like now, having done the album, now I've got to come up with a whole new bag of tricks.
00:01:15.000 That's a really fun time.
00:01:16.000 I'm probably more happy or never as happy as when I'm on the road at some cafe somewhere solving problems, coming up with new ideas and surprising myself.
00:01:25.000 Everything else, you know.
00:01:28.000 I like hanging with my boys and laughing.
00:01:30.000 Do you like having a nice house?
00:01:32.000 Do you get any pleasure out of having a nice house?
00:01:34.000 Yeah, but I have lived in rudimentary places and I don't notice.
00:01:41.000 Yeah, I noticed that when I first started making money.
00:01:45.000 Everything gets normal.
00:01:47.000 Like, this is your house.
00:01:48.000 Wake up.
00:01:49.000 It's normal.
00:01:49.000 You know what doesn't change?
00:01:51.000 What always makes you feel good is views.
00:01:53.000 I was about to say that.
00:01:54.000 I can't believe you just said that.
00:01:55.000 A view is not underrated.
00:01:57.000 No.
00:01:58.000 Views are very underrated, I think.
00:02:00.000 So interesting you say that.
00:02:01.000 I just said that.
00:02:02.000 You know who else said that to me?
00:02:04.000 Ray Kurzweil.
00:02:05.000 Really?
00:02:06.000 Yeah.
00:02:06.000 He always lives in a place with a view.
00:02:08.000 Yeah.
00:02:08.000 When I interviewed him, he was on a very high floor in an apartment building in San Francisco.
00:02:15.000 That's where he lives.
00:02:16.000 And you look out from his apartment and you see the city and you see the bay and it's beautiful.
00:02:24.000 Yeah, it's expansive.
00:02:25.000 Yes.
00:02:26.000 He said views are very important to him.
00:02:28.000 They are, but I have another weird thing that, like, if you put me in a French cafe, there's a, I don't know if it's still around, but there was a, I'm so French.
00:02:38.000 Do you speak?
00:02:40.000 Listen to my accent.
00:02:43.000 Did you ask for ham?
00:02:44.000 Did you ask for ham?
00:02:45.000 I said I speak French fluently.
00:02:46.000 Did you say ramon?
00:02:47.000 Ramon.
00:02:48.000 Un petit peu de jambon.
00:02:50.000 How well do you speak French?
00:02:52.000 Do you speak French?
00:02:53.000 No, I mean, I used to speak it.
00:02:54.000 I went to French schools in Lebanon.
00:02:57.000 Damn.
00:02:57.000 Yeah.
00:02:58.000 You know, I mean, I can...
00:03:00.000 Give me six months and I'm gonna...
00:03:02.000 You'd hop right back in there.
00:03:03.000 I think so.
00:03:04.000 The dating pool in France?
00:03:05.000 Oui.
00:03:06.000 Cherie.
00:03:07.000 Cherie.
00:03:08.000 What were you saying?
00:03:10.000 You were about to say something about you were in a cafe in France?
00:03:12.000 There's a place called Chez Paul, which is...
00:03:15.000 I think?
00:03:38.000 It's very special.
00:03:40.000 If they ever demolished that, God forbid, I would buy that wood and put it up on my walls.
00:03:45.000 Oh, so you do care about stuff.
00:03:46.000 Yes.
00:03:47.000 Magical stuff.
00:03:48.000 Yes.
00:03:48.000 I like things that last.
00:03:50.000 I like marble and heavy wood, like old railroad tracks.
00:03:56.000 Ooh, reclaimed wood.
00:03:58.000 Yeah.
00:03:58.000 Yeah, like this table.
00:03:59.000 Yeah, good leather.
00:04:00.000 This table's reclaimed wood.
00:04:01.000 Yeah.
00:04:02.000 And a man with a mustache.
00:04:04.000 Handmade things.
00:04:06.000 Like these handmade craftsmen shoes.
00:04:09.000 If I wanted to, I would maybe go and have my shoes made in London.
00:04:15.000 I'd have bespoke shoes.
00:04:17.000 Ooh, bespoke.
00:04:18.000 I love that when they use that.
00:04:20.000 I know.
00:04:20.000 I'd have bespoke shoes.
00:04:22.000 The problem with jewelry, watches, nice shoes and everything is I have to maintain them.
00:04:27.000 And I'd rather have...
00:04:29.000 You don't really have to maintain watches.
00:04:32.000 Just put them on.
00:04:33.000 That's right.
00:04:33.000 But I have another weird thing, which I think if I have leather under my feet, I don't feel as secure and I don't feel like I can run or fight.
00:04:42.000 Oh, like leather soles?
00:04:43.000 Well, you can't.
00:04:43.000 I need some rubber, bro.
00:04:45.000 Well, yeah, you should have some tread.
00:04:46.000 Yeah.
00:04:47.000 But they can put some leather tread below the...
00:04:49.000 I mean, rubber tread, rather, below the leather.
00:04:51.000 You don't want those scuffed up leather bottom shoes.
00:04:54.000 No, man.
00:04:54.000 Those bitches are useless.
00:04:55.000 It's like being on socks!
00:04:56.000 Right, but it's good for pivoting.
00:04:59.000 If you want to pivot, like if you want to throw a wheel kick, it's really good.
00:05:01.000 Yes, it's true.
00:05:02.000 If you want to bear down.
00:05:03.000 If I want to, what's called squash the bug when I throw my right, squash the bug with my back foot.
00:05:08.000 No, because you want to push off.
00:05:10.000 You want to have something to push off.
00:05:12.000 You don't need that much pivot.
00:05:13.000 You really need pivot with a kick.
00:05:15.000 Yeah.
00:05:15.000 You know, like a spinning kick.
00:05:17.000 Yes.
00:05:18.000 Yeah.
00:05:18.000 This is the kind of bullshit you and I still talk about at 52. It's so pathetic.
00:05:23.000 It's never going to end.
00:05:24.000 Well, the fucked up thing is that, you know, I'm always getting ready for home invasion or a situation.
00:05:31.000 It might be.
00:05:33.000 The problem is that there are just too many things to worry about.
00:05:36.000 I also have to worry about fucking ticks and things that I can't see, like flesh-eating bacteria and MRSA. What I worry about more than anything, honestly?
00:05:44.000 Asteroidal impacts.
00:05:45.000 You do?
00:05:46.000 Yep.
00:05:47.000 Really?
00:05:48.000 Yeah, because they can come and then wipe out civilization almost instantaneously.
00:05:51.000 There was something I just...
00:06:12.000 Did you hear about the Explosion?
00:06:15.000 The meteor that exploded in December?
00:06:17.000 Yes.
00:06:18.000 Yeah, this meteor that exploded in December had something like 50 times the amount of power in the atmosphere.
00:06:25.000 Oh, okay.
00:06:25.000 Oh, 10. 10 atomic bombs.
00:06:27.000 10 times the power of the atomic bomb that exploded in Hiroshima.
00:06:32.000 Yeah, and it exploded in our atmosphere.
00:06:34.000 But no, there's this impact that they think happened.
00:06:39.000 Well, there's two concepts.
00:06:40.000 Robert Schock thinks that it might have coincided, these impacts might have coincided with, he believes there's a great deal of evidence for a mass coronal ejection, that there was some sort of a solar flare, a massive solar storm that happened.
00:07:11.000 We're good to go.
00:07:18.000 So this is the impact crater that they found in Greenland.
00:07:23.000 15 miles across?
00:07:24.000 Yeah.
00:07:24.000 Holy shit.
00:07:25.000 31 kilometers across, which is...
00:07:28.000 Like 15 miles?
00:07:29.000 Yeah, somewhere around 15 miles.
00:07:31.000 Ridiculous.
00:07:32.000 It's fucking insanely huge.
00:07:34.000 But do you think, as you think about your impending doom, which is going to happen, right...
00:07:40.000 I just worry about the civilization being...
00:07:43.000 We're so dependent upon electricity and any small catastrophe.
00:07:50.000 Oh, this is like an impact video of where it hit.
00:07:55.000 Wow.
00:07:58.000 So it's all this hit, like where there's glaciers right now, with this massive impact.
00:08:04.000 They got hit, man.
00:08:05.000 The people that lived 12,500 years ago got hit.
00:08:09.000 There's more than one crater, too, by the way.
00:08:11.000 This is one of the many craters that they found during the time period of 12,500 BC, or 12,500 years ago, rather, to 10,000 years ago.
00:08:21.000 In that time period, that 2,000-year time period, they think there was multiple impacts on the Earth.
00:08:27.000 Why?
00:08:27.000 I guess it just wasn't our time now.
00:08:29.000 Well, we're lucky.
00:08:31.000 We've just been through a really lucky stage.
00:08:33.000 But what he's saying, essentially, is that this is what wiped out the Egyptian civilization, the first Egyptian civilization.
00:08:40.000 This is what wiped out the civilization that built Gobekli Tepe.
00:08:45.000 This is what wiped out the civilization that preceded Sumer and ancient Babylon and Mesopotamia, that all those were a rebuild of a...
00:08:57.000 I can't wait for him to come back on again.
00:08:58.000 He's coming back on again.
00:08:59.000 Graham Hancock is coming back on again, I think April 22nd.
00:09:02.000 I listened to him debate that other guy that you had on the podcast.
00:09:04.000 It was great.
00:09:05.000 Yeah, well, it's Michael Shermer, who's actually a friend of mine who I like.
00:09:08.000 But he's a skeptic, and there's an issue with skeptics.
00:09:13.000 The issue is not that it's not good to be skeptical.
00:09:15.000 It's very good to be skeptical.
00:09:17.000 The problem is, when you approach things as a skeptic, you're not approaching them as a scientist.
00:09:21.000 And I'm not saying that Michael does this, but that I think he did in that debate.
00:09:25.000 I think it was a mistake.
00:09:27.000 People, they approach these things looking to debunk them rather than objectively assessing all the possible evidence.
00:09:35.000 And so because of that, you miss out on big things.
00:09:38.000 Like, this is evidence.
00:09:39.000 This is not like Bigfoot tracks or some shit like that.
00:09:43.000 This is fucking real evidence of a crater that they have dated back to 12,500 years ago.
00:09:49.000 Yeah, but people have a hard time believing in doomsday scenarios because it kind of like, you know, when you talk about taking the entire chessboard and throw it in the air and you have evidence for it, look at global warming and stuff like that.
00:10:04.000 There is a, I really believe that people have, whether it's Leighton or not, a religious notion that we are ultimately sacred and that God would never do something that terrible to us en masse.
00:10:18.000 I really believe that.
00:10:20.000 Like, humanity itself to go away?
00:10:22.000 No.
00:10:23.000 Because that would make no sense.
00:10:25.000 We're moving in a certain direction.
00:10:27.000 We're making progress.
00:10:29.000 There's this sort of neural net.
00:10:31.000 It's becoming easier to understand what it is to be each other.
00:10:35.000 And that's kind of what virtual reality and being able to download other people's brains will eventually do.
00:10:42.000 That probably brings us into one...
00:10:45.000 I guess, universal consciousness.
00:10:47.000 I mean, you can go on and on.
00:10:48.000 So the idea that that would be all obliterated before it happens, before the singularity, for example, happens, is too much to bear.
00:10:55.000 It would make no sense for us because we have this narrative that we all kind of adhere to.
00:11:01.000 It's very easy to do that.
00:11:03.000 Well, it's a little psychological sort of – I want to say a trick.
00:11:09.000 That we play on ourselves.
00:11:10.000 But it's really a defense mechanism.
00:11:12.000 It's a little trick that we try to pretend that we're important.
00:11:15.000 Goddammit, just look up at the sky and although you can't see it, there are stars that are being swallowed up by black holes.
00:11:25.000 Like, if the universe doesn't give a fuck about something that's a million times bigger than the Earth, why would you think it gives a fuck about you?
00:11:31.000 It's eating stars.
00:11:32.000 That's a terrible question.
00:11:34.000 Most people, that's a terrible, insulting question.
00:11:36.000 You know, that's kind of what, who was it, Albert Camus, the French existentialist and Sartre and all those guys, they were saying, like Camus said, the fundamental question is, why not just commit suicide?
00:11:48.000 Because everything is totally absurd and nothing means anything, right?
00:11:51.000 It's like the rock of Sisyphus that you keep pushing up and it keeps rolling down.
00:11:55.000 And then he said, but the truth is most people don't want to kill themselves, but they'll commit philosophical suicide.
00:12:02.000 Meaning, instead of like really starting to ask these questions and really getting into it and realizing that it's all hopeless and despair, you know, you just glom onto a certain philosophy that gives you hope.
00:12:14.000 Religion.
00:12:15.000 Yeah.
00:12:15.000 Or whatever it might be, which is what it is.
00:12:17.000 And maybe the way out of that is just to enjoy every day, taste your food, enjoy your friends, and realize that it could end in any second.
00:12:26.000 You know another thing that's fucked with me?
00:12:29.000 The concept of reincarnation.
00:12:31.000 Not the concept of reincarnation like coming back as a butterfly or something like that.
00:12:35.000 But the concept of living your life over and over and over again until you get it right.
00:12:43.000 Now, here's what fucks with me.
00:12:46.000 I am having a great time.
00:12:49.000 So why wouldn't I want to do this again?
00:12:51.000 I'm having a great time.
00:12:52.000 I have great friends like you and young Jamie over there.
00:12:55.000 And I love my family.
00:12:58.000 I love what I do for a living.
00:13:00.000 I love our circle of friends is amazing.
00:13:02.000 I mean, we are for sure some of the luckiest men I have ever met in my life.
00:13:08.000 There's no doubt.
00:13:09.000 There's no doubt.
00:13:10.000 We have fun, man.
00:13:11.000 Dude, I was thinking about all the mistakes I've made, but then I went, wait a minute, but I'm here.
00:13:15.000 Like, at 52, I'm here.
00:13:17.000 I've made a fuckload of mistakes.
00:13:18.000 Yeah, but look where we are.
00:13:19.000 But we're also risk takers.
00:13:21.000 I mean, we're professional performers.
00:13:23.000 We went into a job that has zero job security.
00:13:27.000 Yeah.
00:13:27.000 Fucking head first, no safety net, dove right in.
00:13:31.000 You know, we make mistakes.
00:13:33.000 We make mistakes with our job.
00:13:36.000 We make mistakes with our personal life.
00:13:38.000 We make mistakes with our...
00:13:39.000 There's just no...
00:13:40.000 There's no way to avoid it.
00:13:42.000 Because I don't have a dress rehearsal.
00:13:44.000 I'm presented with these.
00:13:45.000 I'm presented with the scenario.
00:13:47.000 I have to make a choice in real time.
00:13:49.000 I'm going to make a mistake.
00:13:50.000 And once I realized that and stopped beating myself up about it and realized that I've always done the best I can, but here's what you can do.
00:13:58.000 Be brutally honest and assess yourself and see where you're falling short and then just change your approach.
00:14:04.000 So that's kind of what I did when I saw acting, when I saw what just being an actor was.
00:14:09.000 And I saw how precarious it was.
00:14:11.000 And I saw where the business was moving with the new media and stuff.
00:14:16.000 And I was like, this doesn't make...
00:14:18.000 Then I watched you doing your podcast and you would say, start a podcast.
00:14:21.000 So guess what?
00:14:22.000 I started a podcast.
00:14:23.000 Didn't go well.
00:14:23.000 Started another podcast.
00:14:24.000 Didn't make money.
00:14:25.000 Then started a third podcast with Brennan Schaub and blah, blah, blah.
00:14:28.000 But, you know, it's the same thing with stand-up.
00:14:30.000 You just keep doing it.
00:14:31.000 You keep following the models that work because I was doing the wrong thing over here.
00:14:35.000 And next thing you know, you know...
00:14:37.000 You gotta grind.
00:14:38.000 That's where a lot of comics fuck up.
00:14:40.000 They do it once a week, and then they take a few weeks off, and then they come back and do it again.
00:14:46.000 And they're like, how do you do it all the time?
00:14:48.000 I'm like, because I know how to grind.
00:14:49.000 I'm a grinder.
00:14:50.000 It's not just grind.
00:14:51.000 For me, the idea is original self-expression.
00:14:55.000 I'm interested in trying to...
00:14:57.000 Take the way I think.
00:14:58.000 So a lot of things scare me, and they make me angry, and I don't know how to react, but instead of fretting about it, I create.
00:15:06.000 Michelangelo, my favorite quote, criticized by creating.
00:15:09.000 It's a great fucking quote.
00:15:10.000 That's beautiful.
00:15:11.000 Yeah, he said that.
00:15:12.000 He said, criticized by creating.
00:15:13.000 I always think about that because...
00:15:16.000 That's kind of, when I look at my body of work and the progression of my specials, for example, like Man Class, a little too, you know, just about being funny and a silly goose, then never grew up a little more personal about my dad, but then this last one, Complicated Apes, where's my camera?
00:15:32.000 Is that out right now?
00:15:33.000 It's out right now.
00:15:33.000 Oh my god, is this the number one iTunes comedy album right now?
00:15:36.000 Dude, do we have to rank things?
00:15:38.000 Apparently it's crushing.
00:15:39.000 I've heard it's number one in the world.
00:15:41.000 Dude, where you can rent and buy, I guess, Complicated Apes is doing very well.
00:15:44.000 If you want to get it and laugh hard and learn...
00:15:46.000 I feel like we should celebrate.
00:15:47.000 Listen, this is not about promoting my special.
00:15:51.000 I feel like we should.
00:15:51.000 I feel like we should.
00:15:52.000 I feel like you should promote it a little bit.
00:15:53.000 Alright, fine.
00:15:54.000 Get complicated, Apes.
00:15:55.000 Let's just get that out of the way.
00:15:55.000 It's out right now, right?
00:15:56.000 I guess it's out right now.
00:15:57.000 You can get it on iTunes.
00:15:58.000 Or anywhere you rent or buy your material.
00:16:00.000 So if you have Apple TV, you can just watch it on your TV. You can get it on Xbox or PlayStation.
00:16:04.000 Listen, you can get it on Amazon.
00:16:05.000 I don't stop.
00:16:06.000 Any platform.
00:16:07.000 All the platforms.
00:16:08.000 You know, Amazon is really getting into the special game.
00:16:11.000 Yes, they are.
00:16:11.000 They're doing Alonzo Bowden's special.
00:16:13.000 He's going to be coming on soon.
00:16:15.000 I love Alonzo.
00:16:16.000 He's a good man.
00:16:17.000 Yeah, he's a very smart guy.
00:16:18.000 Such a good dude.
00:16:20.000 Yeah.
00:16:21.000 They're doing Jim Gaffigan's special.
00:16:24.000 He's fucking hilarious.
00:16:25.000 And I think they're talking to a bunch of other people about doing specials as well.
00:16:29.000 They decided to...
00:16:31.000 I love that all these other people are moving in.
00:16:33.000 I love it!
00:16:33.000 And we're in the renaissance where stand-ups can make real money.
00:16:36.000 It used to not be that way.
00:16:37.000 You had clubs.
00:16:38.000 Now you've got theaters.
00:16:39.000 Now you've got a whole network.
00:16:41.000 Now the internet and everything else.
00:16:43.000 What's beautiful about the road now is I don't have to do that local press.
00:16:48.000 That's so good.
00:16:49.000 Come see me in Kansas City this Friday, Saturday.
00:16:51.000 What club are you doing?
00:16:52.000 The improv?
00:16:53.000 Nice place.
00:16:55.000 Kansas City.
00:16:55.000 I love Kansas City.
00:16:57.000 Kansas City's fun.
00:16:57.000 I like it a lot.
00:16:58.000 It's fucking fun.
00:16:59.000 Oh, hell yeah.
00:17:00.000 I did an outdoor theater there this summer.
00:17:02.000 Yeah, it was fucking great.
00:17:04.000 Wow.
00:17:04.000 Me and Santino.
00:17:05.000 Really?
00:17:05.000 Fucking amazing, man.
00:17:07.000 Really?
00:17:07.000 An outdoor theater?
00:17:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:09.000 Really fun.
00:17:09.000 That's pretty badass.
00:17:11.000 Yeah.
00:17:11.000 Yeah, Kansas City's the shit.
00:17:13.000 It's one of those places that people forget.
00:17:14.000 St. Louis, that's also the shit.
00:17:16.000 Yeah.
00:17:17.000 That's a fun place.
00:17:18.000 To me, terrible town.
00:17:19.000 Now, here's the thing.
00:17:19.000 Oh, how dare you?
00:17:20.000 First of all, barbecue.
00:17:21.000 No, St. Louis I had a little problem with, but Kansas City, fantastic.
00:17:24.000 What kind of problems did you have?
00:17:25.000 I just thought it was a very ugly city.
00:17:26.000 Maybe you generalize it.
00:17:27.000 Maybe.
00:17:28.000 Maybe.
00:17:28.000 Maybe you didn't go to the pretty spots.
00:17:30.000 Would you go over like Google Earth?
00:17:31.000 You'd drive all over the whole fucking city?
00:17:33.000 That's exactly right.
00:17:34.000 I drove around.
00:17:34.000 How about Cleveland?
00:17:35.000 This is where we draw the line.
00:17:36.000 I like Cleveland.
00:17:37.000 I fucking love Cleveland.
00:17:38.000 Let me tell you why I like Cleveland.
00:17:39.000 It's a beautiful city.
00:17:40.000 I mean, talk about architecture.
00:17:41.000 It's like Pittsburgh.
00:17:42.000 Yes.
00:17:42.000 And some great culinary...
00:17:44.000 You said like Pittsburgh.
00:17:45.000 Yes.
00:17:46.000 That's true.
00:17:46.000 That's totally true.
00:17:47.000 It's where the oil...
00:17:49.000 The iron...
00:17:50.000 I think Cleveland was where some of the richest people in the world were at one point.
00:17:53.000 Last time I was in Pittsburgh, well, the first time rather, I said, well, not even the first time.
00:17:58.000 One of the times I was in Pittsburgh, I was there for a furry convention.
00:18:01.000 I was there for the UFC, and the UFC was in Pittsburgh at the same time a furry convention was on.
00:18:06.000 That's when I found out about furries.
00:18:08.000 I had a nice, long conversation with the dudes who work behind the desk at the hotel.
00:18:14.000 They were telling me the furries were asking for their food in bowls so they could eat off the ground.
00:18:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:19.000 They were all furries except us.
00:18:21.000 What the fuck?
00:18:21.000 What the fuck is going on?
00:18:22.000 Forget who went with me.
00:18:23.000 I forget who opened for me.
00:18:24.000 It might have been Duncan.
00:18:25.000 But they were asking for a litter box so they could shit and piss in a box.
00:18:31.000 I want to do that.
00:18:32.000 No, you don't.
00:18:33.000 No, I don't, but I would.
00:18:34.000 Just for a laugh.
00:18:35.000 How are you going to wipe?
00:18:36.000 How do you get that fetish?
00:18:38.000 It's like grown men who want to wear diapers and have somebody spank them and change them.
00:18:43.000 Well, here's what's interesting.
00:18:45.000 There's a lot of people that think that...
00:18:47.000 Look...
00:18:50.000 I am 100% in support of people being trans.
00:18:53.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:18:54.000 I'm in support of you being whatever you want to be.
00:18:57.000 I'm a person who believes in free will or your ability to freely express yourself, I should say.
00:19:03.000 But if you work for a corporation, you work for a tech corporation, especially a particularly progressive tech corporation, you run into some real problems.
00:19:13.000 And I was talking to a guy who was telling me, you don't know the half of it, that we're dealing with a guy who he identifies as an animal and that he believes that he's kin, like he's a fox kin or a dog kin or something like that.
00:19:30.000 And he wants a litter box in his office.
00:19:33.000 This guy wants to be able to shat in his fucking office into a box of...
00:19:40.000 Now, I appreciate that.
00:19:42.000 Now, I want to say this about him, and I'm not a psychiatrist, and I have no right to really diagnose, but he's fucking crazy.
00:19:48.000 Yeah, he is crazy.
00:19:49.000 Right?
00:19:50.000 But here's the thing.
00:19:50.000 Like, you're letting people be crazy.
00:19:53.000 Correct.
00:19:53.000 When you're letting a 6'4 man compete in women's weightlifting because he's decided that he's a woman now… That's bullshit.
00:20:02.000 And now he's winning and he's wearing makeup and he looks like a gorilla and he's on stage lifting his arms up.
00:20:07.000 Yay, diversity!
00:20:09.000 You're stealing from women.
00:20:11.000 You're stealing.
00:20:11.000 You're stealing victory.
00:20:13.000 You're cheating.
00:20:14.000 You're fucking 100% cheating.
00:20:15.000 That's right.
00:20:16.000 And anybody says they're not...
00:20:17.000 You're an asshole.
00:20:18.000 You're an asshole.
00:20:19.000 I know, but you know, this is about humanness and when someone's feelings, how they identify in that moment, which of course are so transitory, right?
00:20:29.000 I mean, my fucking, not to bring it back, but the whole idea of complicated apes is that we are- This is your new special that's out right now?
00:20:36.000 This is my new special.
00:20:36.000 And it's available basically everywhere, right?
00:20:38.000 Amazon.
00:20:40.000 You can get it on iTunes.
00:20:41.000 Everywhere you rent.
00:20:42.000 Hulu.
00:20:43.000 Does Hulu have it?
00:20:44.000 It does!
00:20:44.000 Oh my god, that's crazy.
00:20:46.000 And wherever the fuck, look in your sock drawer.
00:20:48.000 There's my special.
00:20:49.000 It's in my sock drawer.
00:20:50.000 It's in your sock drawer.
00:20:50.000 That's amazing.
00:20:51.000 But I do think that, you know, we are complicated.
00:20:55.000 Like, we're bipolar apes.
00:20:57.000 Sinners and saints and everything in between.
00:20:59.000 So your feelings...
00:21:01.000 How you feel.
00:21:02.000 Sometimes I feel like an asshole and other times I feel like a saint and everything in between.
00:21:06.000 It's very difficult to say, you're a noun, which means you're this, as opposed to sort of a verb, which is I'm always changing.
00:21:14.000 And that to me is the problem with when you identify, when you emotionally identify with something.
00:21:21.000 Well, for now you do.
00:21:22.000 For now.
00:21:24.000 That's what's important to you.
00:21:25.000 But I can't tailor my life and my entire corporation to This is what the part of the problem is, and this is what you just hit on.
00:21:33.000 Yeah.
00:21:33.000 Part of the problem is these people want to be special for no reason at all.
00:21:36.000 Correct.
00:21:36.000 And so to be special for no reason at all, one of the best ways is to do what Bruce Jenner did.
00:21:40.000 You become Caitlyn Jenner, and then he's special.
00:21:43.000 That guy was a fucking loser, even though he was a gigantic superstar in the Olympics.
00:21:48.000 40 years ago.
00:21:49.000 But from then on, they shat on that guy every fucking show.
00:21:53.000 That's right.
00:21:54.000 They shit on him.
00:21:55.000 He was the buffoon of that show.
00:21:57.000 And then all of a sudden he becomes a woman and everybody's like, you're amazing!
00:22:01.000 And woman of the year.
00:22:02.000 Woman of the year.
00:22:03.000 After being a woman for six months.
00:22:04.000 Yeah, all the women that do things like Christina Doudna who came up with CRISPR-Cas9 and all those women.
00:22:09.000 Oh, is this the guy?
00:22:10.000 Okay, this is hilarious.
00:22:12.000 This is a dude who's a comic?
00:22:14.000 Is he a comic or a rapper?
00:22:15.000 He's a rapper.
00:22:15.000 He's a rapper.
00:22:16.000 And he's fucking jacked.
00:22:18.000 So he decided to identify as a woman.
00:22:21.000 Watch me destroy them.
00:22:22.000 So he destroys the British women's deadlift record without even trying.
00:22:26.000 Wow.
00:22:26.000 P.S. I identified as a woman whilst lifting weights.
00:22:29.000 Don't be a bigot.
00:22:30.000 I love this motherfucker.
00:22:32.000 And he's so jacked.
00:22:34.000 Imagine that.
00:22:35.000 So, the biological men don't have any physical strength advantage over women in 2019. Okay, anybody who says that is a fool.
00:22:42.000 That's hilarious.
00:22:43.000 That's foolishness.
00:22:43.000 Nobody just did.
00:22:44.000 Yeah, good for him.
00:22:45.000 What's his name?
00:22:46.000 Zuby.
00:22:47.000 Zuby.
00:22:48.000 Zuby is his stage name.
00:22:50.000 Shout out to Zuby.
00:22:51.000 Oxford graduate.
00:22:52.000 Doesn't that mean you're a Rhodes Scholar?
00:22:54.000 Zuby, congratulations to you, sir.
00:22:56.000 I'm following you right now.
00:22:57.000 I'm going to go right to my goddamn Twitter.
00:23:00.000 Free thinker.
00:23:00.000 Free thinker.
00:23:01.000 God bless you.
00:23:02.000 This is silliness, folks.
00:23:05.000 Of course it is.
00:23:06.000 And here's the problem with a lot of these progressives is that they're really nice people.
00:23:11.000 That's what it is.
00:23:12.000 Zuby follows me, and now I follow him.
00:23:14.000 Shout out to Zuby!
00:23:15.000 They're nice people as long as you agree with them.
00:23:17.000 Yes, exactly.
00:23:18.000 And if you don't, they try to de-platform you.
00:23:19.000 I got listed.
00:23:21.000 Tim Pool sent me this thing next to Richard Spencer as being a far-right influencer.
00:23:28.000 An all-right influencer, yeah.
00:23:29.000 Far-right!
00:23:31.000 They called me far-right.
00:23:32.000 That's amazing.
00:23:33.000 I'm left!
00:23:34.000 They're liars.
00:23:36.000 Yeah, I know.
00:23:36.000 I am fucking left-wing on...
00:23:38.000 Who did that though, you know?
00:23:39.000 I'm almost a socialist.
00:23:40.000 Yeah.
00:23:41.000 I consider universal basic income a really good idea.
00:23:44.000 I want free college education.
00:23:46.000 Take it easy.
00:23:46.000 I would like to spend more in taxes if they could fix inner city communities and take these poor neighborhoods and throw a fuckload of money.
00:23:53.000 Spend more, you fucking Republican piece of shit!
00:23:56.000 The problem is you got white privilege.
00:23:59.000 That's the problem.
00:24:00.000 Listen, you son of a bitch.
00:24:01.000 I feel it coming out of your pores right now.
00:24:02.000 Listen, you socialist.
00:24:03.000 Why don't you leave my country?
00:24:04.000 I'm 1.6% African, so watch your fucking mouth.
00:24:07.000 Dude, no wonder you're so...
00:24:09.000 You're so compassionate.
00:24:11.000 Compassion's everything.
00:24:12.000 But I think these people are too compassionate.
00:24:14.000 This is what the problem is.
00:24:16.000 They're like, oh, you identify as a wood elf?
00:24:18.000 Oh, cool, you're an elf.
00:24:19.000 I don't want to, you know, like, whatever your feelings.
00:24:22.000 And here's the thing, they're terrified of someone coming after them.
00:24:25.000 So they try to embrace, the more preposterous, the better.
00:24:28.000 Like, they're having a real hard time now with this woman, the congressman, you know, who said a bunch of anti-Semitic shit.
00:24:36.000 Or anti-Israeli stuff, right?
00:24:37.000 Anti-Israeli shit.
00:24:38.000 Is it anti-Semitic?
00:24:40.000 Has she said anything bad about Jews in general?
00:24:42.000 I think she might have said anti-Israeli stuff, which I think you can make a distinction.
00:24:47.000 Yes, you should be able to.
00:24:48.000 I think you should be able to make an intelligent argument that there is a difference between being not anti-Israeli, but having problems with their policies and Jews, right?
00:24:59.000 Because there are a lot of Jews that are critical of Israel as well.
00:25:03.000 100%.
00:25:03.000 Yeah, so it's...
00:25:05.000 But sometimes to silence you and stop the argument.
00:25:08.000 I'm not familiar with what she said exactly.
00:25:10.000 I'm not either.
00:25:12.000 But go on.
00:25:13.000 What were you saying about the problem?
00:25:17.000 They don't know what to do with her.
00:25:18.000 They're stuck in this weird spot.
00:25:21.000 Here's a perfect example.
00:25:23.000 Where was it...
00:25:26.000 So it was somewhere in Europe where this Muslim group was shouting down this LBGT demonstration.
00:25:35.000 And everybody's like, oh, well, Jesus, what do we do here?
00:25:39.000 We have two protected classes going to war with each other.
00:25:42.000 Yeah.
00:25:42.000 And one of them is shouting down the other one saying that, you know, homosexuality is forbidden by God, but then we're supposed to be protective of LBGT people.
00:25:52.000 We're supposed to be open-minded and progressive and allowing them, but then you have these people who are saying that it's their religion, that they think that this is wrong, and this is also a protected class.
00:26:03.000 You don't want to be Islamophobic.
00:26:05.000 So what does everyone do?
00:26:06.000 Well, everyone stands back.
00:26:08.000 And this is one of the weird moments where people are standing back while LBGT people are getting absolutely crucified in the streets, yelled at with bullhorns, told they're sinners and blasphemers.
00:26:20.000 But that actually is part of free speech, right?
00:26:24.000 Sure.
00:26:24.000 So it's part of being able to organize and express yourself, organize and petition your government.
00:26:28.000 That's constitutional as long as you don't incite someone To violence, as long as you don't say, hey, you guys, go kill those gay people over there.
00:26:39.000 Bro, I'm not talking about constitutionally.
00:26:41.000 I mean, constitutionally, I agree.
00:26:42.000 It is free speech.
00:26:43.000 But what I'm saying is that there's no outrage.
00:26:46.000 There's no commensurate outrage like there would be if, say, white nationalists were screaming at these people.
00:26:52.000 So here's my issue with the far left or the left or even, forget the right for a second, I have my own issues with that.
00:26:59.000 But with the progressive argument, I always notice that the narrative is very binary.
00:27:05.000 The narrative is always, so for example, racism is the argument, right?
00:27:10.000 So we need to get rid of racism.
00:27:12.000 I happen to think we could be as identical as penguins and we'd still find reasons to break into us versus them.
00:27:18.000 Well, we'd have an ideological...
00:27:19.000 Of course we do.
00:27:20.000 Look at the Middle East.
00:27:21.000 If racism was the ultimate problem, then the Middle East would be fairly...
00:27:25.000 Or it would be a financial...
00:27:26.000 Sunnis and Shia, the Igbo and the Yoruba.
00:27:29.000 I mean, I can keep going.
00:27:30.000 There'd be all kinds of...
00:27:32.000 So people are looking...
00:27:33.000 The Dinka and the Nua of the Sudan, sworn enemies, they look exactly the same.
00:27:37.000 So human beings don't need to have different colored skin.
00:27:40.000 I couldn't agree more.
00:27:40.000 Yeah.
00:27:41.000 So we are tribal, and it's fun to break into these us versus them.
00:27:46.000 I think the biggest problem is kind of deciding that, first of all, the internet has made it very possible for you to purify your echo chamber.
00:27:54.000 That's a big problem.
00:27:56.000 And then you surround yourself with people who think and see the world exactly like yourself.
00:28:02.000 And I think we get smarter when we listen to the other side, even if you don't agree with them.
00:28:07.000 Because your ideas aren't working and their ideas aren't working, but put your ideas together and maybe somebody gets pregnant with a new idea.
00:28:14.000 Yeah, the idea is that there's some way that you could stop all division between human beings as long as people are allowed to express themselves and they live unique and individual lives.
00:28:25.000 That's never going to happen.
00:28:26.000 No.
00:28:26.000 You're going to have people that come from different parts of the world where different things are more important.
00:28:30.000 You're going to have people that come from different economic situations.
00:28:33.000 It's going to be different.
00:28:35.000 I mean, when I say that I'm almost a socialist, what I mean is like, look, there's certain things we just accept that we need.
00:28:42.000 Like, here's one.
00:28:43.000 You need a well-funded fire department, right?
00:28:46.000 Whose money?
00:28:47.000 Everybody, we're pulling all our money into that.
00:28:49.000 Right, right.
00:28:50.000 We agree with that.
00:28:51.000 We agree there's well-funded public education.
00:28:53.000 You have to have that, right?
00:28:55.000 Well, we barely do that right now, but we do have that.
00:28:59.000 Teachers are getting fucked left and right.
00:29:01.000 They're getting minimal pay.
00:29:02.000 Children are going to school in hazardous conditions, but at least there's some money being put.
00:29:07.000 Police officers, we agree.
00:29:09.000 Street fixing the streets, we agree.
00:29:11.000 We agree on a lot of things.
00:29:14.000 We're good to go.
00:29:32.000 Or if the United States is really a team, why don't we look at it as a team in terms of equal allocation of resources to solve conflicts and problems, including crime?
00:29:41.000 We don't.
00:29:42.000 A lot of times, the problem is isolating the source of the problem.
00:29:47.000 So people disagree on what the actual problem is.
00:29:50.000 I can give you examples.
00:29:52.000 I mean, when we talk about illegal immigration and what to actually do about it, people are all over the We're good to go.
00:30:14.000 I don't want spree shooters, but when you get down to it and you hear people who are really educated on the subject of guns, they can get you twisted up in an argument if you start talking about gun control because you realize this is a complicated issue and maybe it's a mental health issue,
00:30:29.000 maybe it's a thousand things.
00:30:30.000 It's certainly a mental health issue.
00:30:32.000 There's a lot of issues with it.
00:30:33.000 The ability that someone has to do what...
00:30:37.000 Is it only one guy?
00:30:38.000 More than one person got arrested in New Zealand, correct?
00:30:40.000 No, I think it was just one guy.
00:30:42.000 Yeah.
00:30:42.000 Yeah, they got arrested, but only one shooter, as far as I know.
00:30:45.000 So the other ones are planning it?
00:30:46.000 They thought they were, maybe, yeah.
00:30:48.000 No, I think he was, yeah.
00:30:49.000 But my thing is that...
00:30:50.000 But my point is, you have to be ill.
00:30:52.000 There's no other way.
00:30:53.000 Of course you do.
00:30:54.000 You have to be mentally ill in order to do that.
00:30:57.000 Now, I want you to think about the fact there's more guns than there are people.
00:31:00.000 Mm-hmm.
00:31:01.000 So, in this country alone, there's 300 plus million people, there's more than 300 million guns.
00:31:06.000 Relatively speaking, the number of mass shootings is incredibly small in comparison to the amount of guns and the amount of sick people.
00:31:16.000 I mean, how many people are sick who don't become mass shooters?
00:31:19.000 It's a big number.
00:31:21.000 It's very true.
00:31:22.000 Those are things.
00:31:23.000 And a lot of the gun violence that the left talks about, a lot of those are suicides.
00:31:27.000 A lot of it.
00:31:28.000 Yeah.
00:31:28.000 A lot of that is suicides.
00:31:30.000 A lot of it is cops shooting bad guys.
00:31:31.000 A lot of it is people defending themselves.
00:31:33.000 And then after that, you have gang violence.
00:31:35.000 But so the problem is that when people argue, they make these things very simplistic.
00:31:39.000 Yeah.
00:31:40.000 And they're not.
00:31:41.000 You know, even the identity politics.
00:31:43.000 I mean, you know, so straight white males are essentially the enemy.
00:31:46.000 So the idea would be if we take straight white males out of the equation, because this is all power, right?
00:31:52.000 Talking to Amy Schumer or something?
00:31:53.000 No.
00:31:55.000 No, I'm not.
00:31:55.000 But this tyrannical hierarchy and stuff, as if you took white males and took all of them out of the equation, as if there wouldn't be a new hierarchy.
00:32:03.000 Yeah.
00:32:04.000 That's just the way shit happens.
00:32:06.000 When you try to make things really equal in a communist society, the people closest to the government making the decisions, they become the new elite.
00:32:14.000 So you're not going to fucking avoid that shit.
00:32:17.000 And also, there's no equality of effort.
00:32:20.000 The problem with equality of income and equality, like people want success.
00:32:24.000 They think that if you're more successful that it's because of some sort of a cheat.
00:32:28.000 You've rigged the system or cheated somehow or another.
00:32:31.000 But that's not true.
00:32:33.000 Some people work harder.
00:32:35.000 Of course they do.
00:32:36.000 They just do.
00:32:37.000 Of course they do.
00:32:37.000 Some people become obsessed with success and some people...
00:32:40.000 My uncle...
00:32:41.000 My Uncle Vinny doesn't give a fuck.
00:32:44.000 You know what my Uncle Vinny does?
00:32:45.000 He makes art.
00:32:46.000 Really?
00:32:46.000 He sells it.
00:32:47.000 Yeah, he's always been that way.
00:32:49.000 He used to be a photographer, and now he sent me some driftwood that he painted.
00:32:55.000 Wow.
00:32:56.000 He painted signs for my daughters made out of driftwood.
00:33:00.000 I love people like that.
00:33:01.000 He's so eccentric, but he's never given a fuck about it.
00:33:04.000 It drove his ex-wife crazy.
00:33:05.000 He just makes beautiful things for...
00:33:07.000 He's an artist.
00:33:08.000 He's like a legitimate artist.
00:33:10.000 Jimmy Burke's that way.
00:33:10.000 Jimmy Burke is truly not ambitious.
00:33:13.000 He is only interested in feeding his brain.
00:33:17.000 He listens to Stephen West's podcast, Philosophize This, which is my favorite.
00:33:21.000 I love that podcast.
00:33:22.000 I've been talking to that guy back and forth.
00:33:24.000 I'm going to get him on.
00:33:24.000 Yeah, I've got to get him on.
00:33:26.000 He's 29, and he's got such a command of philosophy, but he makes it so accessible.
00:33:30.000 Yeah, like Jimmy will start his day with philosophize this just listen get a get a nugget and then he goes and works out and plays tennis and just He's a national treasure because he only lives to educate himself and make the world a better place He just makes people feel good about themselves.
00:33:44.000 He's trying to enjoy life But do you think you'd want to do it over and over and over again the exact same life?
00:33:48.000 I do He's the happiest.
00:33:51.000 He's the closest thing to a monk.
00:33:54.000 I was just with him.
00:33:55.000 I flew him down to Florida.
00:33:57.000 Do you remember the time we had him on the podcast, folks?
00:33:58.000 You want to watch a disaster podcast?
00:34:00.000 We got him way too high.
00:34:02.000 We got him like three or four hits deep and he doesn't smoke weed.
00:34:05.000 And he hadn't eaten.
00:34:06.000 He hadn't eaten.
00:34:06.000 And he was thirsty.
00:34:07.000 I don't think eating helps when you're smoking it.
00:34:09.000 I might be wrong.
00:34:11.000 Does it?
00:34:11.000 He was already low blood sugar and he hadn't slept.
00:34:14.000 We barbecued that dude.
00:34:15.000 We threw him in a Traeger grill and set it at 225 for six hours.
00:34:20.000 He was forgetting stories.
00:34:21.000 He was forgetting stories in the middle of the first sentence.
00:34:23.000 He's amazing.
00:34:24.000 He's amazing.
00:34:24.000 Yeah, we fucked him up, which is too bad because he tells some great stories.
00:34:27.000 Now the world will forever know him as the guy who couldn't keep it together.
00:34:30.000 Well, I remember when he had tuberculosis.
00:34:32.000 I called him Jimmy Berculosis.
00:34:34.000 Yeah.
00:34:34.000 He had tuberculosis.
00:34:35.000 He sure did.
00:34:36.000 They think he got it from his grandfather when he was three years old and it laid dormant.
00:34:40.000 And they couldn't find it because it was on the outside of his lung.
00:34:43.000 Holy shit.
00:34:43.000 So, I'm with him in the hospital.
00:34:45.000 I've never seen anything like this.
00:34:46.000 I'm with him in the hospital.
00:34:48.000 And they thought he had two things.
00:34:50.000 One, the disease that killed Bernie Mac.
00:34:53.000 What disease killed Bernie Mac?
00:34:55.000 He had that disease that firemen get from 9-11 where your lungs basically turn to sand.
00:35:01.000 I mean, you know, it's awful.
00:35:03.000 Oh, God.
00:35:04.000 So Bernie Mac died of that.
00:35:05.000 So they said, you have either a fatal disease, which is that lung disease, or you have lung cancer.
00:35:10.000 Okay?
00:35:10.000 Now, this was what he was looking at.
00:35:12.000 And I remember he was just talking to me like this, and joking around, aha!
00:35:17.000 Oh, dude, yeah!
00:35:18.000 And I went, Bubba, I go, you've been given, like, they are looking at you either being, you know, you're dead or dead.
00:35:27.000 I don't understand how you're not even missing a beat.
00:35:29.000 And he goes, dude, come on.
00:35:32.000 I've made peace with my death a long time ago.
00:35:34.000 I live every day as it comes.
00:35:37.000 And he was getting ready for them to come out and tell him what it was.
00:35:41.000 And the doctors, you know, you can't help but to love him.
00:35:44.000 So he was there for three weeks, and the doctors finally found that he had tuberculosis.
00:35:49.000 Now, at this point, all the doctors fell in love with him, all of them.
00:35:52.000 They'd come in and listen to his stories.
00:35:54.000 So the doctor came running in and goes, we found out what you have!
00:35:56.000 You have tuberculosis!
00:35:58.000 And Jimmy was like, oh, great.
00:35:59.000 And he goes, no, we can cure that!
00:36:01.000 This is fucking great!
00:36:02.000 We can cure that!
00:36:03.000 So he went on nine months of antibiotics.
00:36:05.000 Nine months?
00:36:05.000 And he went colorblind.
00:36:07.000 From the antibiotics?
00:36:08.000 Yeah, that's what happened to him.
00:36:09.000 He's now colorblind.
00:36:10.000 So he's colorblind now?
00:36:11.000 Yep, colorblind.
00:36:12.000 That's what the antibiotics did.
00:36:13.000 But hey, he's 100%.
00:36:15.000 But I've never seen anybody face his own death and be that just monk-like about it.
00:36:20.000 He's a badass.
00:36:21.000 Does he have a good diet?
00:36:22.000 Yeah.
00:36:22.000 Yeah.
00:36:23.000 Now, when he was on the antibiotics, did they give him probiotics as well?
00:36:27.000 He does probiotics.
00:36:29.000 He brought his body right back.
00:36:31.000 I mean, he is just a beast.
00:36:32.000 He's never stopped working out.
00:36:33.000 He's never stopped eating really well.
00:36:35.000 Do they know what caused his antibiotic reaction that made him colorblind?
00:36:40.000 That apparently is a side effect when you take nine months of a very strong cocktail of antibiotics.
00:36:46.000 And that cured it, though.
00:36:48.000 Nine months later, it cured it.
00:36:49.000 Yeah, thank God.
00:36:50.000 There's no way it cures it on its own.
00:36:52.000 Well, back in the day, you had consumption, and almost you died eventually.
00:36:56.000 But some people would go up into the mountains, and tuberculosis can go into remission and not come out again.
00:37:04.000 When you go to the mountains?
00:37:05.000 The idea was we'll go to the mountains and breathe fresh air and sometimes you could go into remission with tuberculosis.
00:37:13.000 But tuberculosis was almost always a death sentence.
00:37:15.000 In Long Day's Journey Into Night, the great play and Nobel Prize winner Eugene O'Neill, his brother had it.
00:37:20.000 And he knew his brother was going to die.
00:37:23.000 And he just watched his brother deteriorate.
00:37:25.000 It was like having AIDS or something.
00:37:27.000 You would cough.
00:37:28.000 You'd spit up blood.
00:37:30.000 I think Chopin, the great piano player, died of it.
00:37:33.000 This is why when people talk about, you know, when they're anti-vaccine or they're anti-antibiotics or Western medicine, just read.
00:37:42.000 Forget the science.
00:37:43.000 Don't worry about Big Pharma.
00:37:45.000 Just pick up a history book or a piece of literature, anything that's written before 1950, which most people don't, 1968. Any classic book.
00:37:53.000 And one of the central themes is the fact that people, especially children, died.
00:38:01.000 Lincoln lost, what, three of his children?
00:38:03.000 Three!
00:38:03.000 To fever, quote-unquote.
00:38:05.000 Usually probably diphtheria or something that came rolling through.
00:38:09.000 Smallpox was a fucking, it was the biggest killer forever.
00:38:13.000 How about the Spanish flu of 1918?
00:38:15.000 People died.
00:38:16.000 20 million people?
00:38:18.000 Millions of people.
00:38:18.000 Yeah.
00:38:19.000 So, if you just – forget – I mean, just pick up a history book or pick up a piece of literature.
00:38:24.000 It was unavoidable.
00:38:26.000 Yeah, it's very – the Spanish flu apparently was a really weird one because it actively attacked people with really good immune systems.
00:38:32.000 Oh, young people.
00:38:33.000 Young people died.
00:38:34.000 Yeah, it killed them better than it killed older people for some strange reason.
00:38:37.000 And that was a fact of life.
00:38:39.000 You usually buried your children.
00:38:41.000 Throughout history, you had to bury your children.
00:38:43.000 That's an unequivocal fact.
00:38:45.000 We don't live in that world anymore.
00:38:47.000 We don't worry about those diseases like tetanus and diphtheria and things that would roll through and just kill everybody.
00:38:52.000 But people are getting it now.
00:38:53.000 People are getting tetanus again.
00:38:55.000 That's right.
00:38:55.000 Some kid got tetanus.
00:38:57.000 And I saw people arguing that one of the dumbest fucking things I ever saw in my life, someone was saying, there's a simple cure to tetanus, just expose it to open air.
00:39:06.000 Ha!
00:39:07.000 Is that a scientist?
00:39:08.000 Was that a guy who has his degree?
00:39:09.000 Why is it that these guys never have a degree?
00:39:11.000 He was a chemtrail believer.
00:39:12.000 But why is it that all these guys who make the noise don't have degrees?
00:39:16.000 Because they want to believe that there's some sort of an organized clan of people that are trying to keep your health down or support big pharma.
00:39:27.000 The real facts of diseases like smallpox and like polio, like all these horrific diseases that people in our grandparents' generation had to deal with, is that they were cured by medicine.
00:39:39.000 Yeah.
00:39:40.000 Is modern pharma greedy?
00:39:43.000 Look no further than the OxyContin crisis.
00:39:46.000 That's right.
00:39:46.000 The opiate crisis we're facing in this country.
00:39:49.000 Yeah.
00:39:49.000 Big Pharma, left unchecked, is like anything else, where it's a corporation that wants to have universal growth.
00:39:56.000 They want to have constant, never-ending growth, and they want to keep making money, and the way to do that is to prescribe more people poison.
00:40:02.000 Ben Goldacre, you ever have him on his podcast?
00:40:04.000 No.
00:40:04.000 He wrote a book called Bad Pharma.
00:40:06.000 But he's a doctor who takes a very...
00:40:08.000 He said, there is evil, but you have to know what kind of evil.
00:40:11.000 Don't just throw the whole...
00:40:12.000 Exactly.
00:40:12.000 If you have MRSA, you need big pharma.
00:40:15.000 Fuck yeah, you do.
00:40:16.000 If you have staph, just talk to anybody who's ever wrestled or anything.
00:40:18.000 Dude, Cam Haynes' son had staph, and he called me up.
00:40:21.000 He's like, how bad is staph?
00:40:23.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ, because he told me his son got it at the gym.
00:40:26.000 I'm like, get him to the fucking doctor immediately.
00:40:29.000 My wife's friend went into a coma.
00:40:32.000 She started having seizures because of an unchecked staph infection she got at the gym.
00:40:38.000 Started having seizures.
00:40:39.000 I'm at sushi with Frank Grillo, our buddy.
00:40:42.000 And he boxes every day.
00:40:44.000 And I see his arm.
00:40:45.000 And he's got a long sleeve shirt.
00:40:46.000 And his arm's bleeding.
00:40:47.000 And I go, what's going on with your arm?
00:40:49.000 And he goes, I got cut.
00:40:50.000 I was at the gym.
00:40:51.000 And he's always on that dirty, you know, mat or just whatever.
00:40:55.000 In a literally seven hours, he had a sack hanging off his elbow.
00:41:01.000 Doctor goes, he almost lost his arm.
00:41:04.000 He had to get shots and antibiotics for a whole week.
00:41:06.000 I mean, that shit moves quick.
00:41:08.000 Moves very quick.
00:41:09.000 You would lose your arm or die.
00:41:10.000 I tell you the Ari Shaffir story.
00:41:12.000 Me and Ari are playing pool and he's limping.
00:41:14.000 I'm like, what's going on with your leg?
00:41:15.000 And he goes, I think I got a spider bite.
00:41:18.000 I go, let me see your leg.
00:41:19.000 He pulls his leg.
00:41:20.000 I go, dude, listen to me.
00:41:21.000 You're going to the doctor right now.
00:41:22.000 I unscrew my cue.
00:41:24.000 He's like, are you serious?
00:41:24.000 I go, we're quitting right now and I'm taking you to the fucking hospital.
00:41:28.000 I go, you got to go to the hospital now.
00:41:30.000 He goes, now.
00:41:31.000 I go, do you have a staph infection?
00:41:33.000 And it's bad.
00:41:33.000 And you could tell.
00:41:34.000 Fuck yeah!
00:41:35.000 I didn't know what it looked like.
00:41:36.000 It looked like a zit.
00:41:37.000 Like a giant zit on his knee.
00:41:39.000 I go, that's not a spider bite, bro.
00:41:41.000 And he was doing jujitsu.
00:41:43.000 Because of me.
00:41:44.000 I bought him a year membership for jujitsu.
00:41:48.000 For Hanukkah.
00:41:50.000 But yeah, man.
00:41:51.000 It was fucking nasty.
00:41:52.000 And he would have just walked around with it.
00:41:54.000 And then it would have gotten really bad.
00:41:55.000 And he probably would have got systemic and died.
00:41:57.000 And that happens to people.
00:41:59.000 My buddy Ryan, who is a health Gracie black belt, We're good to go.
00:42:26.000 They would use screws.
00:42:28.000 So for whatever reason, the screws that were in the metal would somehow, they were infected.
00:42:34.000 They kept infecting the bone.
00:42:35.000 And they had to grow, they had somehow graft bone back on it.
00:42:39.000 It was fucking crazy.
00:42:40.000 Jesus Christ.
00:42:41.000 But that was, it's no joke, man.
00:42:42.000 How happy, once something like that happens though, how happy are you when you're healed?
00:42:48.000 Yeah, I had a cold recently.
00:42:49.000 Just a little cold.
00:42:50.000 Not that bad.
00:42:51.000 But I was running ragged.
00:42:52.000 Just too many trips and too busy and getting up early and going to bed late.
00:42:57.000 And I was just really tired and sick.
00:42:58.000 And then I couldn't work out for like four or five days.
00:43:01.000 And I remember thinking to myself, you've got to remember this.
00:43:04.000 You've got to remember this shitty feeling when you can't even exercise and I'm hawking up green shit and spitting in the sink just to look at it.
00:43:12.000 I know.
00:43:12.000 Do you do that?
00:43:13.000 You blow your nose in the sink?
00:43:14.000 Of course I do.
00:43:14.000 I do that.
00:43:15.000 I go...
00:43:15.000 Yeah, I want to see it.
00:43:17.000 I want to see what it looks like.
00:43:18.000 Just big fucking smurfs.
00:43:21.000 Yeah, just shit.
00:43:22.000 Big green gobules all over the fucking sink.
00:43:26.000 But I just remember thinking, like, you've got to be smarter, stupid.
00:43:29.000 Just be smarter by your hands.
00:43:31.000 And most of the time I am.
00:43:32.000 Most of the time I am.
00:43:33.000 But sometimes I just go, I've got to hit that gas.
00:43:36.000 I've got nothing in the tank.
00:43:37.000 But I've got to fucking keep that accelerator pressed.
00:43:39.000 That's why I don't fuck around with my sleep anymore.
00:43:41.000 I read that book, Why We Sleep.
00:43:42.000 Matthew Walker, he's amazing.
00:43:44.000 I just, I don't fuck around with my sleep anymore.
00:43:47.000 You should not.
00:43:47.000 You should not.
00:43:48.000 Sleep is critical.
00:43:50.000 Yeah.
00:43:50.000 Yeah, it's, um, you know what is amazing for sleep, man?
00:43:54.000 You know what you should get in your place?
00:43:55.000 Get yourself a sauna.
00:43:57.000 Really?
00:43:57.000 Oh, yeah.
00:43:59.000 Really?
00:43:59.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:00.000 You do 20 minutes in a sauna.
00:44:02.000 That's for fucking clowns.
00:44:04.000 You wear a rubber nose when you do it?
00:44:06.000 Yeah.
00:44:07.000 Hey, man.
00:44:08.000 I take cold showers after yoga.
00:44:10.000 You wear a rubber nose?
00:44:12.000 Yeah.
00:44:13.000 Man, Joe's being mean to me.
00:44:14.000 He called me a clown.
00:44:15.000 He's a fucking clown.
00:44:17.000 Fucking clown.
00:44:18.000 I'm trying to create shock proteins.
00:44:20.000 Yeah, you gotta get really cold.
00:44:23.000 You should have an ice bath if you want to do that.
00:44:24.000 I'll do an ice bath.
00:44:25.000 I've done that before.
00:44:25.000 Have you done cryo?
00:44:27.000 Yeah, I've done cryo.
00:44:28.000 Have you done the real one when your head goes in?
00:44:30.000 No, you did the one with the neck below.
00:44:32.000 On it has the bullshit one.
00:44:34.000 Really?
00:44:34.000 Yeah.
00:44:35.000 The real one's only made by Cryo Healthcare.
00:44:38.000 They have one in New York or one center in New York.
00:44:41.000 They have one in LA. They have one here.
00:44:44.000 They have one in Woodland Hills.
00:44:45.000 Come sit in an ice bath for 20 minutes and talk to me.
00:44:49.000 Okay.
00:44:49.000 You go numb.
00:44:50.000 It sucks, I'm sure.
00:44:51.000 It's a bitch.
00:44:52.000 But so does 250 degrees below zero.
00:44:55.000 Have you not done an ice bath?
00:44:55.000 For three minutes.
00:44:56.000 Yeah, I have.
00:44:57.000 Oof.
00:44:57.000 Come on, bro.
00:44:58.000 It sucks.
00:44:58.000 Alright, bro.
00:44:59.000 I get it.
00:45:00.000 Did you wear a fucking...
00:45:00.000 Did you wear a clown nose?
00:45:03.000 Burn.
00:45:03.000 I just double burned him now.
00:45:05.000 Sing a song.
00:45:06.000 I was singing.
00:45:07.000 Sing.
00:45:08.000 Yeah, it's not good.
00:45:10.000 There's probably some real benefits to ice baths.
00:45:12.000 The benefit of cryo over ice baths is you can work out right afterwards.
00:45:16.000 Ice baths, they recommend you not work out.
00:45:19.000 They're like, you just chill out for a while.
00:45:21.000 But it's great after you're working out.
00:45:22.000 But for muscle strength and development, it's actually not good to do it right after training.
00:45:29.000 You actually should wait quite a while, like maybe an hour or two.
00:45:33.000 So you've had countless conversations with cutting-edge scientists and exercise people.
00:45:40.000 The five things that you do every day, like that without fail, what are they in terms of for your health?
00:45:46.000 First of all, I supplement.
00:45:49.000 You believe in supplements?
00:45:51.000 I believe absolutely wholeheartedly in supplements.
00:45:54.000 Like which though?
00:45:54.000 What kind?
00:45:55.000 I think Athletic Greens.
00:45:57.000 It's a sponsor.
00:45:59.000 It's a great whole food supplement.
00:46:01.000 I'm doing an ad for them right now.
00:46:03.000 One scoop has 12 servings of fruits and vegetables in terms of the amount of antioxidants you get.
00:46:12.000 It's very healthy.
00:46:13.000 It's good just for a backup plan.
00:46:15.000 I take these little packs with me on the road.
00:46:18.000 I take a lot of the Onnit shit.
00:46:21.000 I take, obviously, Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech.
00:46:25.000 We have some awesome whole food supplements.
00:46:28.000 There's a bunch of great stuff.
00:46:30.000 I take a lot of vitamins.
00:46:33.000 I take vitamin D. I take vitamin B. I take a lot of fish oil, a lot of essential fatty acids.
00:46:39.000 I believe in all those things.
00:46:42.000 I cut way back on my sugar.
00:46:45.000 I mean, way back.
00:46:47.000 Yeah.
00:46:48.000 To where maybe once a week I'll have dessert.
00:46:50.000 Yeah.
00:46:50.000 Maybe once a week.
00:46:51.000 I do that too.
00:46:52.000 Yeah, I don't fuck around, man.
00:46:53.000 Yeah.
00:46:54.000 I... Just...
00:46:56.000 Do you intermittent fast?
00:46:58.000 Yes.
00:46:58.000 Me too.
00:46:58.000 16 hours a day.
00:46:59.000 Yeah, I do that too.
00:47:00.000 Yeah, every day.
00:47:00.000 That makes me feel...
00:47:02.000 You know my psoriasis is 100% gone?
00:47:04.000 That's awesome.
00:47:04.000 Well, part of it's also...
00:47:05.000 And I gotta give a shout out to Dan Garner.
00:47:09.000 DanGarner88 at Gmail if you need his email.
00:47:11.000 He's a fuck...
00:47:11.000 So he's the guy who...
00:47:13.000 What a terrible idea.
00:47:14.000 No, it's fine.
00:47:15.000 It's fine.
00:47:15.000 I want to promote him because he's...
00:47:16.000 Do you know how many fucking people are going to email that kind of pictures of dicks?
00:47:19.000 Good.
00:47:19.000 But a lot of people have psoriasis.
00:47:21.000 But let me tell you...
00:47:22.000 So Andy Galpin, who you know...
00:47:23.000 Yes, very well.
00:47:24.000 So I talked to Andy Galpin and Afif Ghanoum, who Aubrey put me in touch with, he's the guy who coined the term the gut biome.
00:47:32.000 You should actually have him on.
00:47:33.000 He's a really smart guy.
00:47:34.000 He's a scientist who's a leading scientist in gut biome.
00:47:37.000 They're working with the Cleveland Institute of Dermatology, I think, with psoriasis.
00:47:41.000 So how the gut...
00:47:43.000 Affects psoriasis.
00:47:44.000 So anyway, long story short, Andy Galpin puts me together with Dan Garner.
00:47:46.000 He's got like 12 degrees, but he's a strength and nutrition coach.
00:47:49.000 This motherfucker's such a nerd with everything.
00:47:51.000 And this guy, I did a gut analysis and all that stuff.
00:47:55.000 This guy gives me a diet and finds some opportunistic infections in my gut, like bacteria that shouldn't be there.
00:48:02.000 He's got me doing like oil of oregano and fucking garlic pills and stuff like that.
00:48:07.000 But there's a whole regimen I do for four months.
00:48:10.000 Long story short, then there's a probiotic protocol that you do.
00:48:13.000 I do all that, my psoriasis just goes away.
00:48:17.000 It's just, it has not come back and it's been gone.
00:48:19.000 Now, it's something I'll have to manage, but when I say complete, because you saw my back, remember when you saw it?
00:48:23.000 It's all gone.
00:48:25.000 And I had that for nine months.
00:48:27.000 It got bad.
00:48:28.000 Somebody talked to Kim Kardashian.
00:48:30.000 She's got that shit all over her face and legs.
00:48:32.000 So there's overwhelming evidence that a lot of these autoimmune diseases are somehow a gut issue.
00:48:37.000 You know how Jordan Peterson cleaned his up?
00:48:39.000 Yeah.
00:48:40.000 Yeah.
00:48:40.000 Carnivore diet.
00:48:41.000 Yeah.
00:48:41.000 And they think the carnivore diet might be, from what I've heard on your podcast and elsewhere, is that I guess you kind of give your gut bacteria a kind of a reset?
00:48:50.000 It's an elimination diet.
00:48:52.000 Yeah.
00:48:52.000 You take away virtually everything except one thing.
00:48:55.000 Yeah.
00:48:55.000 Your body adjusts and your body just somehow or another, it cures itself of a lot of ailments with an elimination diet.
00:49:04.000 Yeah.
00:49:05.000 Well, that's why intermittent fasting.
00:49:06.000 It's very controversial.
00:49:07.000 Yeah, that is why intermittent fasting in general is so beneficial.
00:49:10.000 It helps me.
00:49:11.000 But this carnivore diet is very fascinating because people fucking swear by it, man.
00:49:17.000 There's people that they look great, their health has improved, they've lost weight and gained muscle.
00:49:22.000 For how long, though?
00:49:23.000 That's my question.
00:49:24.000 That is the question.
00:49:25.000 You need some fiber, I think.
00:49:26.000 I don't think so.
00:49:27.000 I don't think you really do.
00:49:28.000 Most people that are taking it say they don't have any issues.
00:49:31.000 Some people have issues in the beginning of it, but man, people have been doing it for years.
00:49:36.000 They've been on the carnivore diet for years.
00:49:38.000 Dr. Sean Baker, he's been on it for years.
00:49:41.000 All he eats is fucking ribeyes.
00:49:43.000 He just eats ribeyes and eggs.
00:49:45.000 Wow.
00:49:45.000 But aren't the...
00:49:46.000 There are certain cultures that are 100% carnivore.
00:49:49.000 Like, I think the Maasai traditionally were.
00:49:51.000 A lot of the Bantu belt in Africa were...
00:49:53.000 And the Maasai were great.
00:49:55.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:56.000 I've seen them in person.
00:49:58.000 I've been to Kenya twice.
00:49:59.000 I mean, they look like professional athletes.
00:50:01.000 Beautiful people.
00:50:02.000 Yeah.
00:50:03.000 I mean, in terms of the effect on their body, they don't look malnourished, rather.
00:50:08.000 They're 6'6".
00:50:09.000 My friend lived with them.
00:50:12.000 He's a triathlete, and he lived with them for six weeks.
00:50:16.000 And he goes, dude, I've been an athlete my whole life.
00:50:20.000 I'm not an athlete.
00:50:21.000 I tried to run with those guys.
00:50:22.000 I tried to do stuff with those guys.
00:50:24.000 And he's like, the way they can track shit, he goes, they could look at a blade of grass.
00:50:29.000 And the way it was bent, or like a certain area, and go, oh, cuckoo, whatever the fucking kudu ran through here, or whatever the fuck it was.
00:50:37.000 They could tell what kind of animal came through.
00:50:39.000 Whoa.
00:50:40.000 And then they had this throwing contest.
00:50:41.000 They were throwing shit.
00:50:42.000 Not just spears, but they were throwing like this...
00:50:44.000 Whatever it was.
00:50:45.000 And he said, dude, I could – I was so embarrassed.
00:50:48.000 He was embarrassed.
00:50:50.000 He was just such a bitch.
00:50:52.000 It's like, I have Northern European bullshit genes.
00:50:56.000 These motherfuckers from Kenya, you know, it was a whole different thing.
00:51:00.000 For sure.
00:51:00.000 It's really interesting that the cradle of civilization, which is where all human beings emanated from Africa – It has the best genes.
00:51:10.000 They have the best athletic genes.
00:51:12.000 When it comes to, like, physical performance, there's no denying.
00:51:16.000 The Biafra Coast, I mean, like Nigeria and that area, that's of Senegal.
00:51:22.000 Bring up Senegal.
00:51:23.000 Bring up that, what's that wrestling they call...
00:51:28.000 I know what you're talking about.
00:51:29.000 Grillo on Fight World, he went to Senegal.
00:51:32.000 He goes, dude, 6'6".
00:51:34.000 I mean, they all look like that's what the NFL is made up of.
00:51:37.000 And that guy who wrote the sports gene, Richard Bernstein, I think, Sports Illustrated writer, said the fastest people in the world come from that part of the world, the Biafra Coast.
00:51:45.000 That's where Jamaica, that's where the slave trade had gone, and they came from that area.
00:51:51.000 So you can actually isolate the genes.
00:51:53.000 There you go.
00:51:54.000 Lambda, Lambda.
00:51:55.000 Oh, wow.
00:51:56.000 Wow, this is interesting.
00:51:57.000 They're like pawing at each other.
00:51:59.000 Oh, bro, and they're all giant.
00:52:00.000 Why are they pawing at each other?
00:52:02.000 Athletic as fuck.
00:52:02.000 Huh?
00:52:03.000 Because they punch and they wrestle and they do high-level Greco shit.
00:52:06.000 Watch this.
00:52:07.000 This is punching, too?
00:52:07.000 No, you'll see.
00:52:08.000 Watch this high-level Greco shit.
00:52:10.000 They throw.
00:52:11.000 Senghalese Wrestling in Dakar Championship.
00:52:15.000 Beautiful.
00:52:15.000 La Lute is the title of the video.
00:52:21.000 L-A space L-U-T-T-E. Senghalese Wrestling in Dakar Championship.
00:52:28.000 Now they're working for position.
00:52:29.000 And if you see some of these guys, you see what their bodies look like?
00:52:32.000 It's so ridiculous.
00:52:35.000 They're jacked.
00:52:35.000 Like, they live on fish and rice.
00:52:37.000 I mean, Frank went there.
00:52:38.000 It's so poor.
00:52:39.000 And he said, you just see dudes where you're like, well, if I had a body like that, I would never wear clothes.
00:52:43.000 So I don't understand what they're doing here.
00:52:45.000 They're just getting...
00:52:46.000 They need coaching.
00:52:47.000 They're just getting position.
00:52:47.000 Whoever gets thrown...
00:52:48.000 These guys are rock stars in Senegal.
00:52:51.000 Okay.
00:52:51.000 They need coaching.
00:52:52.000 No, no, you'll see.
00:52:53.000 They punch...
00:52:54.000 Let me tell you something.
00:52:55.000 Cain Velasquez shoots a power double on these motherfuckers around the back of the sand.
00:52:59.000 Sir, I'm going to ask you to...
00:53:00.000 You know that's true.
00:53:01.000 Sir?
00:53:02.000 I skipped ahead five minutes.
00:53:05.000 Because they're waiting to get position.
00:53:08.000 It's like sumo, dude.
00:53:10.000 Exactly.
00:53:10.000 It's nonsense.
00:53:12.000 Excuse me.
00:53:13.000 Oh, they're punching each other.
00:53:16.000 Dude, this is serious.
00:53:18.000 Oh, shit.
00:53:19.000 They're punching from the clinch.
00:53:20.000 Yeah, bro.
00:53:21.000 Wow.
00:53:21.000 He's just fighting.
00:53:22.000 He has to adjust his headband.
00:53:23.000 Yeah.
00:53:24.000 You gotta always adjust your headband.
00:53:25.000 Time!
00:53:26.000 Time.
00:53:26.000 What are they doing time?
00:53:28.000 Time.
00:53:28.000 That's it?
00:53:29.000 No.
00:53:29.000 That's the match?
00:53:30.000 No.
00:53:31.000 Maybe not.
00:53:31.000 I'm confused.
00:53:32.000 Hold.
00:53:32.000 Keep going.
00:53:33.000 Well, there's got to be a better one.
00:53:34.000 You've got to see the heavyweights.
00:53:35.000 The heavyweights are...
00:53:36.000 The championship.
00:53:37.000 Maybe it just sucks and you're really into it because it's foreign.
00:53:40.000 Sir?
00:53:40.000 That's possible, too.
00:53:41.000 I'm telling you, I've seen some incredible Lambdas.
00:53:44.000 Those dudes are playing patty cakes, bro.
00:53:45.000 You will respect Lambdas.
00:53:46.000 Okay, let me see another one.
00:53:48.000 Kickboxing world champion.
00:53:49.000 Oh, go to the far right one.
00:53:50.000 That one.
00:53:51.000 Okay.
00:53:52.000 Here we go.
00:53:52.000 Now we'll see what's up.
00:53:54.000 Kickboxing world champion challenges Sanglanese wrestlers.
00:53:57.000 Who is this kickboxing world champion?
00:53:58.000 It's like a documentary.
00:53:59.000 Oh.
00:53:59.000 That's different.
00:54:00.000 I don't care.
00:54:01.000 I want to see who it is.
00:54:01.000 It's not like I've got to find the fight.
00:54:04.000 Oh, is it like an hour long or some shit?
00:54:06.000 Yeah, there's like all sorts of stuff going on here.
00:54:08.000 Who is this kickboxing?
00:54:09.000 Oh, he's like...
00:54:10.000 They're Sufi Muslim.
00:54:11.000 So they're hanging out with them.
00:54:12.000 Very, very spiritual.
00:54:14.000 Who is the kickboxing?
00:54:17.000 Okay.
00:54:18.000 Say his name, Brian.
00:54:20.000 Aurelien Duarte?
00:54:23.000 Aurelien Duarte.
00:54:25.000 French multiple kickboxing, Muay Thai, and Shotokan karate champion.
00:54:29.000 Sounds like me.
00:54:30.000 So it looks like he's learning from these folks.
00:54:32.000 I don't think he's really challenging them.
00:54:35.000 Okay, let's see what happens in the...
00:54:36.000 There we go.
00:54:37.000 Look at my man right there.
00:54:38.000 Instead of staying still...
00:54:41.000 What does it say instead of saying still?
00:54:44.000 Just let it go.
00:54:45.000 Let's see what happens here.
00:54:46.000 Are they wrestling?
00:54:47.000 Yeah.
00:54:48.000 Oh, so they're wrestling, but it's all basically Greco.
00:54:50.000 Let me see that dude.
00:54:52.000 Back up a little.
00:54:52.000 I want to see that dude, the kickboxing guy, interact with him.
00:54:54.000 There we go.
00:54:57.000 You're not doing it.
00:54:59.000 Okay, let's see.
00:55:00.000 Throws.
00:55:03.000 Okay, they're just teaching him how to throw.
00:55:06.000 Oh, they're teaching him some technique.
00:55:09.000 That's kind of cool that they do it on the beach, though.
00:55:10.000 That's smart.
00:55:11.000 That's a duck under right there.
00:55:12.000 It took his back.
00:55:13.000 Yeah.
00:55:13.000 Standard wrestling.
00:55:15.000 They know some wrestling technique.
00:55:16.000 Wrestling is...
00:55:17.000 You know, you could make the argument that wrestling...
00:55:19.000 Would you say that wrestling is...
00:55:21.000 Probably the best thing you could ever do coming up if you want to get into MMA. Like to have that base.
00:55:27.000 Yes.
00:55:27.000 I think wrestling is the most important sport.
00:55:29.000 Yeah.
00:55:30.000 Because you see guys like Kamaru Usman is a perfect example who was just on the podcast.
00:55:35.000 He's another example of awesome African genes.
00:55:39.000 But he's an excellent example of a guy who really didn't start striking at all until like 2009. Yeah.
00:55:49.000 But he's been watching how your body moves forever.
00:55:51.000 Yeah, I mean, he's been watching and fucking around, but it doesn't matter.
00:55:55.000 The way he strikes now, you would think he's been doing it his whole life, and he's been only striking for 10 years.
00:56:00.000 I think wrestlers are just tougher.
00:56:04.000 Kamara was saying that his knees were so fucked up before some of his fights that he had to walk on grass because it hurt to walk on concrete.
00:56:11.000 Oh my God.
00:56:12.000 Really?
00:56:13.000 Yeah, his daughter makes fun of him because he goes down the stairs backwards.
00:56:15.000 Oh!
00:56:16.000 Because he goes down the stairs backwards.
00:56:18.000 No!
00:56:18.000 Yes.
00:56:18.000 Yes.
00:56:19.000 She thinks it's hilarious.
00:56:20.000 By the way, when I see him, I saw him with Rashad Evans, and he looked as big as Rashad.
00:56:25.000 He's a big fella.
00:56:26.000 Yeah.
00:56:26.000 But here's the thing.
00:56:27.000 He couldn't be a nicer guy.
00:56:29.000 He's great.
00:56:30.000 He couldn't be a nicer guy.
00:56:31.000 And when you hear him talk on the podcast, he's so almost soft-spoken.
00:56:36.000 He's easygoing.
00:56:38.000 It's weird that he's so good, but...
00:56:41.000 In the way he describes it, when he gets inside the cage, a switch gets flipped, and he just becomes a different person.
00:56:48.000 I felt like, all due respect to the great Tyron Woodley, but his body looked a little different, and he looked a little bit...
00:56:57.000 I don't know.
00:56:57.000 He didn't look the way he normally does.
00:57:01.000 I heard that too.
00:57:01.000 I didn't see it.
00:57:02.000 I didn't see it, and I look for that shit.
00:57:05.000 His body looks like he's been doing a lot of cardio.
00:57:07.000 I don't know about that, man.
00:57:09.000 Go to Tyron Woodley versus Kamaru Usman.
00:57:12.000 See if you could get the video of the two of them right about the fight.
00:57:16.000 Why are you shaking your head?
00:57:17.000 It's so new.
00:57:18.000 I don't know if we can.
00:57:20.000 So new?
00:57:21.000 It just happened.
00:57:22.000 So what?
00:57:23.000 It's not online yet.
00:57:24.000 That shit's online.
00:57:27.000 Everything's online.
00:57:28.000 You don't think it's online?
00:57:29.000 How much do you want to bet?
00:57:30.000 This is the line we crossed right there, I guess.
00:57:32.000 Well, we don't have to show it.
00:57:33.000 I'm going to show you guys it.
00:57:34.000 Yeah, show us.
00:57:35.000 Just show us.
00:57:36.000 People will find it.
00:57:37.000 You're going to have to go to ESPN from now on, folks.
00:57:41.000 All fights are on ESPN. All pay-per-views ESPN Plus.
00:57:44.000 You have to get a subscription for ESPN Plus if you want to get a pay-per-view now.
00:57:48.000 Is that true?
00:57:49.000 Yes.
00:57:50.000 Yes.
00:57:51.000 Strange.
00:57:51.000 Yeah, that's a good word.
00:57:53.000 Strange is a good word.
00:57:54.000 I love, you know, like I have certain favorite fighters, of course, like Donald Cerrone.
00:57:59.000 I love Nick Diaz.
00:58:00.000 Sure, sure.
00:58:02.000 But Jorge Masvidal.
00:58:04.000 He's a beast.
00:58:05.000 I just love, I love, like, just a true fighter.
00:58:09.000 He's an animal.
00:58:10.000 And he's so good.
00:58:11.000 So good.
00:58:11.000 He's so fucking good.
00:58:13.000 He's so smart.
00:58:14.000 Oh, he's so smart, man.
00:58:16.000 Clever.
00:58:16.000 Changes it up, does things like you can't see what he's doing.
00:58:19.000 It's subtle.
00:58:20.000 He lives for fighting, too.
00:58:21.000 He really does.
00:58:22.000 He's a fucking smart man.
00:58:24.000 Like, there are men, and then there's horse hands.
00:58:27.000 For sure he's on another level.
00:58:29.000 For sure he's on another level.
00:58:30.000 He's...
00:58:31.000 I think he's such a contender for...
00:58:34.000 I mean, he just...
00:58:34.000 Dude, he's 100% of the contender.
00:58:36.000 When was the last time he lost?
00:58:36.000 Knocked out Cowboy, and then takes two years out of the octagon.
00:58:39.000 I don't know what...
00:58:41.000 He must have had an injury or something.
00:58:42.000 And takes on Darren Till.
00:58:43.000 Knocked out Darren Till.
00:58:44.000 I mean, knocked him the fuck out.
00:58:47.000 I mean...
00:58:49.000 He hit him with that left hand a couple times earlier in the fight too.
00:58:52.000 He was doing some sneaky shit.
00:58:53.000 He was switching stances.
00:58:55.000 He was switching stances and throwing that left hand.
00:58:58.000 He was throwing the right hand, switching stances, throwing the left hand.
00:59:01.000 And I think he started to read until pulling back like that.
00:59:03.000 Then he finally threw that right and then boom with that left.
00:59:07.000 He had caught him with that left hand several times.
00:59:09.000 Caught him in the first round and then caught him in the second round.
00:59:11.000 He's a bad motherfucker, man.
00:59:13.000 He really is.
00:59:14.000 He's coming on soon too.
00:59:15.000 I'm going to have him on with Joey Diaz.
00:59:17.000 Masvidal is going to come on with Joey Diaz and get a little cute.
00:59:19.000 But also to be able to get knocked down like that by Darren Till, who hits like a, you know, and come back and just regain his composure.
00:59:27.000 Knocked down with the first punch of the fight.
00:59:28.000 It was the first punch of the fight.
00:59:30.000 I know.
00:59:30.000 And smiled and went, yeah, it's alright.
00:59:31.000 But did you see what he did?
00:59:32.000 The first move of the fight, he charges towards Till and tries to sidekick him in the thigh and hits him in the dick.
00:59:38.000 Yeah.
00:59:39.000 Like right away.
00:59:40.000 First shot right to the sack.
00:59:41.000 Yep.
00:59:42.000 I love that guy.
00:59:44.000 I love watching him fight.
00:59:45.000 Well, he's very crafty.
00:59:47.000 He's a real veteran.
00:59:48.000 I remember him knocking out Eve Edwards in Bowdog Fight.
00:59:53.000 Do you remember Bowdog Fight?
00:59:55.000 No.
00:59:55.000 Bowdog, you know who Calvin Ayers is?
00:59:57.000 He's some...
00:59:58.000 Super Millionaire Playboy character who he came up with this bow dog fight thing and it was back when you used to be able to gamble online right you were able to gamble online now you can again but you used to be able to gamble online a lot of businesses were sort of constructed around the premise that Online gambling was going to be legal.
01:00:20.000 But through some bullshit finagling, the federal government put the kibosh on online gambling.
01:00:26.000 They put the stop on this thriving business.
01:00:29.000 And a lot of these companies, like, there was professional pool organizations, like the IPT that went under because they were counting on online gambling.
01:00:36.000 But Bodog was counting on it, too.
01:00:38.000 Because he had, like, this online gambling website.
01:00:43.000 Well, because of the online gambling shit, he's, like...
01:00:47.000 I don't want to say this.
01:00:48.000 I don't want to be incorrect because Dana White was saying that he's a fugitive.
01:00:52.000 He wasn't even allowed in the country.
01:00:53.000 But that's not too far removed from the truth.
01:00:56.000 I don't think he's allowed back in the United States.
01:01:00.000 I think he has to live in like, you know...
01:01:02.000 Just for providing a service people wanted to be part of?
01:01:05.000 Well, for being a part of online gambling when it was illegal.
01:01:08.000 I think that's the issue.
01:01:10.000 Oh, no.
01:01:11.000 It's fucking stupid.
01:01:13.000 I mean, let people do what they will.
01:01:15.000 I think it'd be cool if you could bet on fights.
01:01:18.000 Tyron Woodley versus Kamaru Usman.
01:01:19.000 The fighters would get more money and everything.
01:01:21.000 We'll see what Usman looks jacked.
01:01:24.000 Let's see what Tyron looks like when he gets into the cage.
01:01:28.000 See, to me, he looked exactly the same.
01:01:31.000 Let's see what happens when he takes his shirt off.
01:01:34.000 Hurry up, Tyron.
01:01:34.000 He's a beast.
01:01:36.000 Yeah, I just don't think that was it, man.
01:01:38.000 I mean, you're also dealing with Tyron.
01:01:41.000 He's 37 now.
01:01:43.000 He is also in the middle of...
01:01:46.000 He's in a transitionary stage in terms of his career.
01:01:50.000 See, he doesn't look quite as jacked.
01:01:53.000 Yeah, but he's like not...
01:01:56.000 Look, I mean, he's a beast.
01:01:57.000 He looks pretty goddamn good to me.
01:01:59.000 Yeah, he always does.
01:02:00.000 He's not filled with blood, you know what I'm saying?
01:02:03.000 He's not like...
01:02:04.000 That's what I mean.
01:02:05.000 That's what I mean.
01:02:07.000 Looks pretty good.
01:02:08.000 Hard to say.
01:02:09.000 Great fighter, man.
01:02:11.000 Yeah, he's 36. I think he's 37 now.
01:02:15.000 He's also got a rap career now.
01:02:17.000 He's opening for Wiz Khalifa.
01:02:19.000 Really?
01:02:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:02:20.000 He does a bunch of shit for TMZ now.
01:02:23.000 He's a busy man on top of the fighting.
01:02:26.000 Good.
01:02:26.000 Let him play that shit.
01:02:27.000 Get out of the fight game.
01:02:28.000 Yes.
01:02:28.000 He has nothing to prove.
01:02:29.000 Well, he's one of those guys that can do that, too.
01:02:31.000 He's a great talker.
01:02:33.000 He would be a great commentator if he decided to get into commentary.
01:02:37.000 100%.
01:02:38.000 But he wants a rematch.
01:02:40.000 I don't think he's happy with his performance, and I think he thinks he could have done better.
01:02:45.000 Let's not just look like a bigger and a different weight class man.
01:02:49.000 Well, Usman's definitely taller, but I think even more importantly, Usman's gas tank is just fucking...
01:02:55.000 Well, that's what's crazy.
01:02:57.000 And I feel like Tyron may have done a lot of cardio for that camp, because he knew he was going to have to deal with that, so he looked a little thinner than he normally does.
01:03:04.000 Well, Usman just pushes the pace.
01:03:07.000 He pushes that fucking pace.
01:03:08.000 That's such a weapon.
01:03:09.000 Some guys can do that.
01:03:10.000 That's such a weapon.
01:03:11.000 Well, he can do it for five rounds, too, man.
01:03:13.000 He doesn't get off the gas.
01:03:15.000 He's pretty honest, too.
01:03:16.000 He's funny, man, when he was talking about the fourth round.
01:03:19.000 Because in the fourth round, he had Tyron hurt, and he poured the gas on, just poured the gas on, and Tyron managed to survive.
01:03:26.000 And when Tyron managed to survive, he was thinking to himself, oh, no, what have I done?
01:03:32.000 But he recovered quick, you know?
01:03:34.000 Yeah.
01:03:35.000 Yeah, he does look a lot bigger, though, huh?
01:03:37.000 Yeah, he's just...
01:03:38.000 Nice and long.
01:03:38.000 Skinny legs, though, in comparison to Tyron.
01:03:40.000 In comparison.
01:03:41.000 You know who else has skinny legs?
01:03:42.000 John Jones, ladies and gentlemen.
01:03:43.000 Exactly.
01:03:44.000 John Jones.
01:03:44.000 John Jones.
01:03:45.000 You look at John Jones' calves only.
01:03:47.000 If you only saw his calves...
01:03:48.000 So weird.
01:03:49.000 ...and someone said to you, all right, is that guy an elite athlete?
01:03:52.000 You're like, get the fuck out of here.
01:03:53.000 That guy's an accountant.
01:03:54.000 Exactly.
01:03:55.000 There's no way.
01:03:56.000 There are a lot of guys like that, where you just don't judge a book by its cover.
01:03:59.000 You'll go to sleep.
01:04:00.000 Yeah, but Jon Jones is the most...
01:04:02.000 Well, his upper body, obviously, is pretty strong.
01:04:04.000 Yeah, he's also 6'5".
01:04:05.000 I mean, you know, it's a different thing.
01:04:07.000 Well, he's got a phenomenal frame for combat sports because he's got length, but he also has muscle.
01:04:14.000 I think that's the best frame.
01:04:17.000 That's not real.
01:04:19.000 That's not real.
01:04:19.000 That's photoshopped, asshole.
01:04:20.000 That's real.
01:04:22.000 That's photoshopped.
01:04:23.000 Trust me.
01:04:23.000 Those are his calves, dude.
01:04:24.000 No, they're not that small.
01:04:26.000 Yes, they are.
01:04:26.000 Those ankles don't even fit into his shoes.
01:04:28.000 He's got very skinny.
01:04:30.000 He has no calves.
01:04:30.000 He does, but that last one, that's ridiculous.
01:04:32.000 But he's such a stud.
01:04:33.000 The one up there is a perfect one.
01:04:35.000 We're throwing that kick right there.
01:04:36.000 How do you game plan for that terrible thing?
01:04:40.000 That's photoshopped.
01:04:40.000 They cut off the back of his leg there.
01:04:42.000 What are you talking about?
01:04:43.000 I don't know, man.
01:04:44.000 That's his leg.
01:04:44.000 No!
01:04:45.000 Look at that.
01:04:46.000 That's his leg, bro.
01:04:47.000 That's not a real leg.
01:04:48.000 You don't think so?
01:04:48.000 That's 100% photoshopped.
01:04:50.000 You can see the blur on the photoshop line.
01:04:52.000 Is that blurred?
01:04:53.000 Yes.
01:04:53.000 From a guy that does photoshop every single day.
01:04:55.000 Yeah, that's photoshopped.
01:04:57.000 You do photoshop every single day?
01:04:58.000 What are you doing online?
01:05:00.000 I make our logo.
01:05:01.000 Oh, I thought you were doing weird shit.
01:05:02.000 Make me more muscular.
01:05:03.000 I edit a photo every single day.
01:05:05.000 Make me stronger.
01:05:06.000 Give Brian abs.
01:05:07.000 I need to get on TOT. Let me see.
01:05:10.000 Well, you know John has skinny calves.
01:05:11.000 Point being.
01:05:12.000 I'm just saying.
01:05:12.000 Yeah.
01:05:14.000 How do you defend against that terrible front kick to the fucking stomach every time?
01:05:18.000 Well, he likes to throw it to the thigh, too.
01:05:21.000 He throws that oblique kick to the thigh and the side kick to the knees.
01:05:26.000 It's interesting when I see people criticizing that kick.
01:05:28.000 I'm like, you're crazy.
01:05:30.000 They're kicking people in the face.
01:05:32.000 You're mad they're kicking them in the knee?
01:05:34.000 Like, what?
01:05:35.000 Like, oh, you can ruin a career.
01:05:36.000 Like, oh, you can't ruin a career by head kicking somebody?
01:05:39.000 Yeah.
01:05:40.000 Like, Wonderboy was saying that about Darren Till.
01:05:42.000 He thought Darren Till was trying to ruin his career by sidekicking him in the knee, and he doesn't think that that technique should be legal.
01:05:48.000 Damn.
01:05:49.000 Like, hey, man.
01:05:50.000 I mean, I get it, but...
01:05:51.000 You're head-kicking people.
01:05:52.000 Yeah.
01:05:53.000 He wheel-kicked Jake Ellenberger in the fucking head.
01:05:56.000 Yeah.
01:05:56.000 How good is that for your career?
01:05:59.000 Not so good.
01:06:00.000 Come on, man.
01:06:01.000 That's a brutal sport, man.
01:06:02.000 Yeah, it is.
01:06:04.000 It's as brutal as it gets, man.
01:06:05.000 It really is.
01:06:06.000 But it's not the worst thing for your body.
01:06:07.000 I think football's the worst.
01:06:09.000 Some dudes don't get hit.
01:06:10.000 Masvidal is another example of that.
01:06:12.000 I don't think I've seen him.
01:06:13.000 I don't know when the last time I saw him actually get cracked was.
01:06:15.000 He's so good at boxing.
01:06:16.000 He got cracked with that opening punch from Darren Till that we were talking about.
01:06:18.000 Yeah, obviously.
01:06:18.000 Yeah, that's true.
01:06:19.000 Mighty Mouse is the best example.
01:06:21.000 Mighty Mouse gets hit less than anybody.
01:06:23.000 But there's other guys that they're very hard to hit.
01:06:26.000 You also get hit in practice, though.
01:06:28.000 Yeah.
01:06:28.000 I know a lot of guys, though, who don't spar like that anymore.
01:06:32.000 Yeah, smart ones.
01:06:33.000 I think Robbie Lawler stopped doing it.
01:06:35.000 I think Cowboy, I think a lot of these guys stopped.
01:06:36.000 Well, Robbie stopped sparring completely for years while he was fighting for Strikeforce, but then when he moved to American Top Team, he started sparring again, and he was training really hard.
01:06:47.000 That's when actually he became the welterweight world champion.
01:06:50.000 He's so fucking tough.
01:06:52.000 I want to see that Askin fight again, because I put my money on Robbie Lawler.
01:06:56.000 He does not care about...
01:06:58.000 He looked better than I've ever seen him.
01:07:00.000 He's in crazy shape.
01:07:01.000 I've gone back and forth about five times on whether or not that was a good stoppage, but Usman convinced me after we watched the footage that was a bad stoppage.
01:07:10.000 I think Robbie was okay.
01:07:13.000 He just relaxed.
01:07:14.000 He was there.
01:07:14.000 He had, what, I don't know how many more seconds, but that bulldog joke's a nightmare, but not for Robbie Lawler.
01:07:19.000 I think he was alright, but it's hard to tell.
01:07:22.000 It's just unfortunate.
01:07:23.000 And again, Herb Dean is as good a referee as there is on planet Earth.
01:07:27.000 There is no one better than him.
01:07:29.000 There's no one better.
01:07:30.000 Herb Dean is as good as it gets.
01:07:31.000 He made a mistake, but it's hard to say if it was a mistake, because I wasn't even sure it was a mistake.
01:07:36.000 We were not sure.
01:07:37.000 Well, it better to err on the side of caution, because he couldn't hear him.
01:07:40.000 He couldn't talk.
01:07:41.000 But here's the thing.
01:07:42.000 He's only getting choked out.
01:07:44.000 Like, if it's Ben Askren, he's only getting choked out.
01:07:47.000 If it's Francis Ngannou and he's fucking punching you in the head and you think you're unconscious, then stop the fight.
01:07:55.000 But if it's just a choke, like Ben Askren is not known for being in any way, shape, or form a power striker.
01:08:03.000 No.
01:08:03.000 And he's not hitting him.
01:08:04.000 He's only holding on to his neck.
01:08:06.000 I don't think...
01:08:07.000 But that shows how tough Ben Askren was because he got his head bounced off that fucking...
01:08:11.000 I was like, you're getting crushed here.
01:08:13.000 And he's just like, whatever.
01:08:15.000 I'm going to stick to my wrestling.
01:08:17.000 Yeah, he was getting fucking pounded, but he figured it out.
01:08:21.000 And even though they disengaged, he managed to get a hold of Robbie again and get him on the ground and get that choke on.
01:08:27.000 Yeah.
01:08:28.000 Look, it was fun while it lasted, but he doesn't want to fight Robbie again.
01:08:31.000 I think if I was the UFC, I would be absolutely trying to make that fight again.
01:08:36.000 Do you think they will?
01:08:38.000 I think they want to.
01:08:39.000 That's what Dana White said.
01:08:40.000 But Ben said, why would I want to do that?
01:08:43.000 I already won.
01:08:44.000 Why would I want to do that?
01:08:45.000 But the thing about Kamara was saying, you don't get a choice.
01:08:49.000 The UFC is going to tell you who to fight again.
01:08:52.000 Maybe they just offer Ben a good amount of money.
01:08:57.000 Robby is, you know, he deserves that privilege and I think he's easily up there and he can always be the champion again.
01:09:06.000 He looks as good as he ever looked.
01:09:08.000 Yes, he looked amazing.
01:09:10.000 He looked amazing physically.
01:09:11.000 He looked amazing when he was fighting.
01:09:13.000 Even more importantly, I think that's the fight that makes the most money because people want to see that.
01:09:18.000 I want to see it.
01:09:19.000 You want to see it.
01:09:19.000 All the real fans want to see it.
01:09:22.000 They don't do enough of that in the UFC. They do sometimes.
01:09:25.000 But what I was going to say is that he deserves it.
01:09:28.000 Jesus, no one deserves it more than Stipe Miocic.
01:09:32.000 Stipe loses to DC and we haven't heard hide nor hair of him.
01:09:35.000 He's the fucking most successful heavyweight of all time.
01:09:39.000 He defended the title four times.
01:09:41.000 No one's ever been able to do that.
01:09:42.000 He does that...
01:09:44.000 And he gets nothing after that.
01:09:46.000 No love, no respect, no nothing.
01:09:48.000 It's incredible.
01:09:49.000 No talk about him fighting DC again.
01:09:51.000 They're just talking about DC Brock Lesnar, and they don't even know if Brock Lesnar's really going to fight.
01:09:56.000 Isn't DC kind of retired?
01:09:58.000 No, DC wants to fight Brock.
01:10:00.000 He's going to fight Brock, and then he's going to retire.
01:10:02.000 He's just going to get that...
01:10:03.000 To me, the most impressive fighter to ever step in the octagon is Daniel Cormier.
01:10:10.000 He's certainly one of them.
01:10:11.000 How's he more impressive when Jon Jones beat him?
01:10:15.000 Well, so Jon Jones is, without a doubt, the most talented and best fighter.
01:10:19.000 To me, with the tools that DC is working with, when you're 5'9", 5'10", and you just...
01:10:28.000 You're dealing with guys who are so much taller, with so much more reach.
01:10:32.000 He's undefeated as a heavyweight.
01:10:33.000 The only man he's ever lost to was Jon Jones and everybody else, all comers.
01:10:38.000 Steve Amios, just give me a number.
01:10:41.000 And he's taken every one of them out.
01:10:43.000 Listen, I'm a giant fan of DC. He's just incredible.
01:10:45.000 Don't get me wrong.
01:10:46.000 It just shows you how good Jon Jones is or Jon Jones has his number, whatever the case.
01:10:50.000 It's both.
01:10:50.000 Yeah.
01:10:51.000 I'd like to see DC fight Jon Jones at heavyweight.
01:10:54.000 Me too.
01:10:55.000 240?
01:10:55.000 That might happen.
01:10:56.000 That might be the big fight.
01:10:57.000 The big fight might be if DC fights Brock, let's assume he beats Brock, which I think he would, then DC fights Jon Jones.
01:11:06.000 Yeah.
01:11:07.000 But he might not beat Brock.
01:11:08.000 Here's the thing about Brock, and this is so ridiculous to say, he's still a fucking giant Viking human.
01:11:16.000 Yeah.
01:11:17.000 He's so extraordinarily big.
01:11:19.000 He's so powerful that if he clips DC, anything can happen.
01:11:23.000 Yeah, but he's going to get punched in the face by DC. And I personally believe that if you are not getting punched in the face and working on patterns and really working on your striking, you get into the ring with a guy like Daniel Cormier who does that every day.
01:11:38.000 True, but we don't know that that's the case.
01:11:42.000 We also know that he has been wrestling with this Michigan State wrestler that's one of the best wrestlers on the planet Earth.
01:11:48.000 There's a video of him wrestling with this current phenom, and he's training with real elite world-class fighters.
01:11:56.000 He knows what he's doing with his striking.
01:11:58.000 Yeah, but Daniel Cormier's got that down, and he's also...
01:12:03.000 Brock is also the WWE champ, bro.
01:12:05.000 I don't know if you know.
01:12:05.000 There is that!
01:12:06.000 He's throwing people around.
01:12:07.000 There is that!
01:12:08.000 Got hit with a chair.
01:12:09.000 You're right.
01:12:09.000 I don't know, man.
01:12:10.000 I'm putting all my money on DC. I would say that DC would be heavily favored.
01:12:16.000 I would also say that that big gorilla can fucking punch any person on the planet with those lunchbox fists, and you're fucked.
01:12:24.000 He's so big, man.
01:12:25.000 When you stand next to Brock, you're just like, oh, you're a totally different thing than me.
01:12:29.000 He's a blonde silverback.
01:12:30.000 Yeah.
01:12:30.000 He's as close to a silverback as I've ever seen him in my life.
01:12:32.000 He's a Viking, man.
01:12:34.000 Long arms.
01:12:35.000 Giant human.
01:12:36.000 Yeah.
01:12:37.000 Ridiculous fists.
01:12:38.000 The real question is, I mean, how much has he really been working on his striking in these years that he's been outside of the cage?
01:12:46.000 It's much easier to work on your wrestling if you're him than it is striking.
01:12:49.000 Striking is a whole different animal.
01:12:51.000 Well, particularly sparring.
01:12:53.000 Not just like hitting mitts and hitting the pad, but getting good rounds in against people that can crack.
01:12:58.000 And people that can crack like DC where he clinches you and then hits you in the clinch.
01:13:03.000 And also learning how to adjust.
01:13:05.000 Like the great fighters that I notice are guys who they come in with a game plan, that game plan gets shut down, and then they change it up.
01:13:12.000 Right.
01:13:13.000 Then they do subtle things.
01:13:14.000 They just start doing little differences.
01:13:16.000 And you go, oh, you're doing a whole different thing here.
01:13:20.000 And that guy can't see it.
01:13:21.000 Or a lot of people can't see it.
01:13:23.000 And that's what I think is amazing.
01:13:24.000 Then there's the other thing.
01:13:25.000 He's got to get off the sauce.
01:13:27.000 So he got off the sauce.
01:13:29.000 So if he gets off the sauce, now he's 40. And he's been on Mexican supplements for the last few years, for sure.
01:13:37.000 And your whole endocrine system is just like...
01:13:40.000 Oh, yeah.
01:13:41.000 Hey, what's going on?
01:13:42.000 Hey, where's my roids?
01:13:44.000 Good luck.
01:13:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:13:46.000 I mean, who knows?
01:13:48.000 Who knows?
01:13:49.000 I'm going to have to get myself on some...
01:13:52.000 I'm looking forward to getting on a TRT. I don't feel like I need it yet.
01:13:55.000 Shut up, bitch.
01:13:56.000 You should be on it right now.
01:13:57.000 Really?
01:13:57.000 You should be on it a long time ago.
01:13:59.000 You think so?
01:13:59.000 100%.
01:14:00.000 I've been telling you forever.
01:14:01.000 I know.
01:14:03.000 I know.
01:14:03.000 I want to keep squeezing every little ounce of man energy that I have.
01:14:07.000 Well, it's real.
01:14:08.000 I mean, you can do it without it, but you won't be as healthy.
01:14:14.000 You won't be as strong.
01:14:16.000 You won't have as much energy.
01:14:18.000 I have a lot of energy.
01:14:20.000 You get some energy.
01:14:20.000 Yeah.
01:14:21.000 The best thing would be if they could figure out a way to revitalize your body's natural production of testosterone that's similar to the way it is when you're a 30-year-old man.
01:14:33.000 They could really do that.
01:14:34.000 Right now they can't.
01:14:36.000 Right now you can only add it.
01:14:38.000 You can get your...
01:14:40.000 But there's a lot of other stuff going on.
01:14:41.000 Like if you listen to that podcast that I did with...
01:14:46.000 What's the doctor's name?
01:14:48.000 Anti-aging doctor.
01:14:50.000 Oh, David Sinclair.
01:14:51.000 David Sinclair.
01:14:52.000 Yeah.
01:14:53.000 There's a lot of factors.
01:14:54.000 There's a lot of different things that you can do.
01:14:57.000 NMN, resveratrol, all these different things that significantly- I want those things.
01:15:01.000 I want MNM. NMN. What is NMN? It's a talomere- Elongator or something?
01:15:08.000 Yes, it lengthens your telomeres.
01:15:09.000 Whatever the fuck telomeres are.
01:15:11.000 The best sign of telomeres.
01:15:14.000 Google the actual definition of telomeres.
01:15:17.000 But it's the best sign of whether or not your body's aging correctly.
01:15:21.000 Where do I get good resveratrol?
01:15:24.000 Resveratrol.
01:15:24.000 Resveratrol.
01:15:26.000 And resveratrol.
01:15:27.000 You get it online.
01:15:28.000 Really?
01:15:29.000 Yeah.
01:15:29.000 That little container out there, you can take that if you want.
01:15:32.000 I got shitloads of it.
01:15:33.000 Yeah?
01:15:33.000 Yeah.
01:15:33.000 Good.
01:15:34.000 I got a lot of it.
01:15:34.000 I want to live forever.
01:15:35.000 Yeah, when he told me about it, I started taking it every day.
01:15:37.000 I take it every day with my morning vitamins.
01:15:40.000 I've been eating a lot of meat.
01:15:42.000 You have?
01:15:43.000 He says no, right?
01:15:44.000 I don't want to say no.
01:15:46.000 He also says to take...
01:15:48.000 I listen to him when it's convenient to me.
01:15:50.000 It all depends.
01:15:51.000 Telomeres, also called telomere terminal transferase, is an enzyme made of protein and RNA subunits that elongates chromosomes by adding TTAGGG sequences to the end of existing...
01:16:13.000 Chromosomes.
01:16:13.000 Telomerase is found in fetal tissues, adult germ cells, and also tumor cells, the result of aging cells in an aging body.
01:16:22.000 So it just slows down aging.
01:16:25.000 I'll tell you what, man, that NMN stuff makes me feel great.
01:16:27.000 It does?
01:16:28.000 100%.
01:16:29.000 Yeah.
01:16:29.000 Gives me a lot of energy.
01:16:30.000 Really?
01:16:30.000 Yeah.
01:16:30.000 How about getting O-bry some?
01:16:32.000 I'll get you some.
01:16:33.000 Yeah, unless you want me to die faster.
01:16:35.000 No, I love you.
01:16:36.000 All right, well, go ahead.
01:16:38.000 Get me some fucking...
01:16:39.000 Let's go.
01:16:40.000 Unless you want me to die faster.
01:16:41.000 I mean, it's a competition.
01:16:43.000 I've been trying to get you on TRT for 10 years.
01:16:44.000 I'll get on TRT too!
01:16:45.000 I got on it 10 years ago and I was telling you, dude, you should be on this.
01:16:48.000 I'm like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
01:16:51.000 I'm still nervous about it, but I'm going to do some testosterone.
01:16:53.000 What are you nervous about?
01:16:54.000 I want to get thick.
01:16:55.000 I want to go like this.
01:16:56.000 I want to go like that.
01:16:57.000 I want to go and jump off a building and glide to the fucking ground.
01:17:00.000 You want to look at something like that?
01:17:01.000 Dude, you got a nice body.
01:17:03.000 Let's go ahead and lose that shirt.
01:17:04.000 Let's get you moving around in a corner over there.
01:17:06.000 Scared.
01:17:07.000 Scared.
01:17:08.000 Yeah, I wish there was a way to do it naturally, and I think there's going to be.
01:17:13.000 I think they're going to be able to do it through some sort of gene manipulation that will turn on your body.
01:17:18.000 They're so close to doing this to mice where they're literally reversing the age of a mouse.
01:17:25.000 So ridiculous.
01:17:25.000 And Sinclair was talking about this.
01:17:27.000 And I've had some conversations with some other people that are really deeply entrenched in the world of genetic engineering and And CRISPR and all the new innovations, they're going to be able to do that.
01:17:39.000 It's a matter of when.
01:17:40.000 I think when we're 80, there's a high probability that by the time you and I are 80, you're going to be able to be 20 again.
01:17:48.000 Come on.
01:17:48.000 I'm not bullshitting.
01:17:49.000 Come on.
01:17:50.000 No, I think that's real.
01:17:51.000 Dude, there's that gene that people can get just five hours of sleep, that wakefulness thing, and it's in 3% of the population.
01:17:59.000 It's called Adderall.
01:18:00.000 Yeah, well there's that too.
01:18:02.000 There is that too.
01:18:02.000 But there's one gene that is, yeah, where you can, and why we sleep, he was talking about it, but also my friend has that gene, his genome, and the doctor goes, you have that gene, Frank Grillo.
01:18:13.000 He goes, you have that gene, because I know he doesn't sleep at all.
01:18:14.000 I'm always like, how do you sleep five hours?
01:18:16.000 He goes, I just wake up.
01:18:17.000 And he's fully awake and he works out for fucking two hours.
01:18:21.000 And I've only met one other dude like that, and that's a gene that's vanishingly rare, and some people can get five to six hours of sleep, five hours and achieve total wakefulness.
01:18:33.000 They're going to be able to do that.
01:18:34.000 They're going to be able to manipulate your eyesight with germs.
01:18:38.000 They're going to be able to inject you with a germ that repairs your eyesight.
01:18:43.000 What's going on with this bitch?
01:18:44.000 I can't wait.
01:19:01.000 I think he just gets up with pure hate.
01:19:07.000 Nah, he probably has that gene.
01:19:09.000 I don't believe that self-control...
01:19:10.000 What?
01:19:12.000 Discipline and self-control last only so long.
01:19:14.000 I wish he was right next to you.
01:19:15.000 Change your tune and start sucking his dick.
01:19:18.000 Jocko's kind of tough.
01:19:19.000 He's terrifying.
01:19:21.000 He's a 240-pound serial killer.
01:19:24.000 Oh, is he that thick?
01:19:24.000 Yes.
01:19:25.000 I didn't know he was that big.
01:19:25.000 Oh, my God.
01:19:26.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:19:27.000 Jocko's a tank.
01:19:28.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
01:19:29.000 Dude, he's an inch taller than me and he weighs 240 pounds.
01:19:31.000 Come on.
01:19:32.000 You don't know what Jocko looks like?
01:19:33.000 What, is he a fucking white Samoan?
01:19:34.000 Dude, Jocko taps Dean Lister in training.
01:19:36.000 What?
01:19:37.000 Yes.
01:19:37.000 You don't understand what you're talking about.
01:19:39.000 Oh, he's a freak.
01:19:39.000 He's a gorilla.
01:19:40.000 Yeah, he is.
01:19:41.000 Look at him.
01:19:42.000 Yeah, he's a...
01:19:42.000 What is that picture of him with his shirt off?
01:19:44.000 Some men are just men.
01:19:45.000 Is that him?
01:19:45.000 I don't think that's him, no.
01:19:46.000 Click on it.
01:19:47.000 Let's see it.
01:19:48.000 It's not him.
01:19:48.000 No, it's not him.
01:19:49.000 No.
01:19:50.000 Yeah, he's a gorilla dude.
01:19:52.000 That's stupid.
01:19:53.000 He's getting into bow hunting.
01:19:54.000 You should too.
01:19:54.000 Yeah, he's a killer.
01:19:55.000 Don't you want to be like us?
01:19:56.000 He's a born warrior.
01:19:57.000 Yeah, I went pheasant hunting with my boy Tarek and his brother.
01:20:00.000 Fun, right?
01:20:01.000 We had a blast.
01:20:01.000 Did you cook them?
01:20:03.000 Huh?
01:20:03.000 Did you cook the pheasants?
01:20:04.000 Yeah, I ate pheasant.
01:20:04.000 Oh, that's what you told me in Napa, right?
01:20:06.000 Oh, in Sonoma.
01:20:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:20:08.000 Next time you come out, we'll go.
01:20:09.000 Okay.
01:20:09.000 My boy Tarek has got it locked down.
01:20:11.000 We eat, we shoot pheasant, and then you eat the best pheasant and drink the best wine.
01:20:15.000 There's nothing better.
01:20:16.000 And smoke cigars and hang out.
01:20:17.000 Tell me a better time.
01:20:19.000 Tell me a better time.
01:20:20.000 This is Jake's buddy?
01:20:21.000 Yeah, Jake Shields' buddy.
01:20:22.000 He corners Jake.
01:20:24.000 Tariq Azim teaches me boxing.
01:20:26.000 He's got this incredible gym called Empower.
01:20:29.000 I go there in San Francisco.
01:20:30.000 I go to San Francisco.
01:20:32.000 Where is it?
01:20:32.000 Is this you guys?
01:20:33.000 That would be me running, getting cardio.
01:20:35.000 Did you have a dog to fetch the birds?
01:20:37.000 Sure did.
01:20:38.000 German shorthair.
01:20:39.000 And my buddy Tariq Azeem, and shout out to you.
01:20:41.000 Why are you running with a gun though, dude?
01:20:43.000 Because I get my cardio.
01:20:44.000 Isn't that a loaded gun?
01:20:45.000 Don't do that.
01:20:46.000 Looks like I have a mustache there.
01:20:47.000 It does look like you have a mustache right now.
01:20:49.000 Are you growing one?
01:20:50.000 Nah, I just got some facial hair, bro.
01:20:52.000 Seems like you're dancing with it.
01:20:54.000 Listen, dude, I grow hard.
01:20:56.000 I grow hard.
01:20:56.000 If I take a poo and I push hard, I grow a mustache.
01:20:59.000 Hmm, interesting.
01:21:00.000 Yeah.
01:21:00.000 Do you try?
01:21:01.000 Nah, it just happens.
01:21:02.000 It just happens?
01:21:03.000 I like being manly.
01:21:04.000 I like shooting pheasant.
01:21:05.000 And by the way, you flush them, and then they fly up and they're about six feet in front of you.
01:21:10.000 And we're still missing.
01:21:11.000 Still fucking missing.
01:21:12.000 It's so annoying.
01:21:13.000 I went pheasant hunting once with Bourdain.
01:21:16.000 Oh, you did?
01:21:17.000 Yeah, I shot one in the feather.
01:21:20.000 I shot its feather.
01:21:21.000 I blew a piece of its feather off and it flew away and laughed at me.
01:21:24.000 Probably took a shit in my general direction.
01:21:27.000 It's true.
01:21:27.000 I only cut off one shot.
01:21:29.000 Look, public land hunting is hard.
01:21:31.000 Most of the hunting that I do is on private land.
01:21:35.000 It's public land hunting.
01:21:36.000 There's a lot of pressure.
01:21:37.000 A lot of people out there doing it.
01:21:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:21:39.000 Well, animals get smart.
01:21:41.000 Yeah.
01:21:42.000 Well, there's two arguments, and I support both of them.
01:21:46.000 One argument is that public land hunting is harder, and you should really be more proud of success on public land, because it's for everybody.
01:21:53.000 It's not an elitist thing.
01:21:55.000 It's very difficult to do.
01:21:57.000 You've got to really put in the work.
01:21:58.000 You've got to have discipline.
01:22:00.000 I get that argument.
01:22:01.000 But my...
01:22:03.000 The problem that I have with it is, first of all, I don't have a lot of time, and I like success.
01:22:08.000 But two, the animals, when they're pressured, they don't act normal.
01:22:14.000 They don't call as much, like elk, elk in particular, in a high-pressure area.
01:22:20.000 It's a problem with wolves.
01:22:21.000 When wolves move into areas, the elk just shut down all the calling.
01:22:24.000 One of the coolest things about elk hunting is they fucking scream.
01:22:29.000 The first time I ever went elk hunting with Cam Aynes, he took me elk hunting, I remember this morning, we're out there in this basin, you hear just...
01:22:36.000 You hear them screaming, and it's still dark out, and we're walking, and I'm like, this is the fucking coolest thing I've ever heard in my life!
01:22:45.000 Just hearing them scream and yelling at each other, and trying to fight off the other males, and you hear their horns clashing against each other because their antlers are fighting.
01:22:55.000 Is this on public land, or is this on private land?
01:22:56.000 This was on private land, yeah.
01:22:58.000 For me, a lot of the hunting, and we need to do it again, by the way, Yeah.
01:23:02.000 It's not so much about killing the animal, it's the camaraderie.
01:23:05.000 Yes.
01:23:05.000 So I'm on this, they stock this field with these pheasant.
01:23:08.000 I'm not there to kill the pheasant.
01:23:10.000 I love the meats and stuff, but it's more the experience with my two friends and we're out there with a dog.
01:23:16.000 I like to say that too, but I like to kill elk.
01:23:18.000 I like to eat them.
01:23:19.000 I like the food.
01:23:20.000 I like the meat.
01:23:21.000 I live off elk.
01:23:22.000 If you check my DNA, it's 65% elk.
01:23:25.000 I need some elk meat.
01:23:26.000 I'm not bullshitting.
01:23:27.000 I eat so much of it.
01:23:28.000 God.
01:23:28.000 I feel fucking great.
01:23:30.000 I bet.
01:23:31.000 I mean, I think there's something to it.
01:23:33.000 I do, too.
01:23:33.000 It's game meat.
01:23:34.000 Dude, I'm eating this dark red protein.
01:23:37.000 That's good for you.
01:23:37.000 That's coming from these wild animals that are dodging mountain lions.
01:23:41.000 That shit's good for you.
01:23:42.000 Yeah.
01:23:43.000 You take the life force of the animal into you, man.
01:23:46.000 There's something about that.
01:23:47.000 I swear to God.
01:23:49.000 And even the pheasant, there's just something about looking for an animal that focuses your mind And even in something as lame as when they're roosting on a field, you got the dog and the dog points.
01:24:03.000 Yeah, it's exciting.
01:24:04.000 Do you like fishing?
01:24:06.000 What's that?
01:24:07.000 Do you like fishing?
01:24:07.000 I don't.
01:24:08.000 I'm not a good fisher.
01:24:09.000 I love fishing.
01:24:10.000 I'm sure if I learned how to fish, but fishing is technique, which I didn't know.
01:24:13.000 I grew up fishing.
01:24:14.000 Oh, you did?
01:24:15.000 Yeah.
01:24:16.000 I was in the Bass Angler Sportsman Society when I was like 13 years old.
01:24:20.000 You were competitive, weren't you?
01:24:22.000 No, I mean, I just liked to fish.
01:24:24.000 I mean, competitive with my friends, you always want to catch the biggest fish, but there's something about fishing, man.
01:24:29.000 There's something about casting a line.
01:24:32.000 And the best, to me, is like a topwater bait.
01:24:35.000 Like, you cast a plug, and you see it land on the water, pauses, the ripples sort of spread out, and then you give it a twitch.
01:24:43.000 Give it another twitch, and you let it pause again, and then a big explosion of water.
01:24:51.000 It got that motherfucker like, oh shit!
01:24:53.000 Dude, my little daughter, my youngest, is 100% hooked on fishing.
01:24:57.000 Really?
01:24:58.000 She caught a six-pound bass in Florida.
01:25:00.000 Damn!
01:25:01.000 Yeah, man.
01:25:02.000 It geeks me out to no end, because she's my little fishing buddy.
01:25:06.000 Like, we were in Maui, and when we were in Maui, we went hunting, or hunting, we went and caught a yellowtail.
01:25:14.000 Wow.
01:25:14.000 And she caught a gang of yellowtail.
01:25:17.000 And this little tiny girl, like a 10-pound yellowtail, is a motherfucker to try to reel in.
01:25:23.000 Oh, yeah.
01:25:23.000 They're so hard to reel in, and she was reeling them in on her own, man.
01:25:27.000 I mean, all I had to do was hold the rod because it literally would have yanked the rod out of our hands.
01:25:31.000 I'm trying to show you a picture.
01:25:32.000 That's amazing.
01:25:34.000 I've got a picture in here somewhere.
01:25:35.000 Let me just take my daughter fishing.
01:25:36.000 Dude, it's fun, man.
01:25:38.000 And then, you know, with the bass, we let them go.
01:25:41.000 Okay, here's...
01:25:43.000 Here's her with a six-pound bass.
01:25:44.000 She's so perfect.
01:25:46.000 With the bass, we let them go.
01:25:48.000 It was a catch and release deal.
01:25:50.000 But the yellowtail, we ate that that night.
01:25:53.000 So the whole family ate something that she caught.
01:25:55.000 God, that's good.
01:25:56.000 She loved it.
01:25:56.000 That's huge.
01:25:57.000 She was so excited by it.
01:25:58.000 She got so...
01:25:59.000 She just...
01:26:00.000 She beams with pride.
01:26:01.000 Just a little tiny girl.
01:26:03.000 Yeah.
01:26:03.000 You know?
01:26:03.000 And she's holding on to this ride.
01:26:05.000 She would not let me reel it in.
01:26:06.000 She's like, do you want me...
01:26:07.000 I go, do you want me to reel it in?
01:26:08.000 She's like, no.
01:26:09.000 She had two hands on it.
01:26:10.000 Going like this...
01:26:12.000 I'm cranking and I'm holding on to it and she made sure she pulled it into the boat too.
01:26:17.000 She's obsessed.
01:26:18.000 It's awesome.
01:26:19.000 I love that.
01:26:19.000 I think once you've felt what it's like to catch a fish and then cook it and eat it once, and by the way, if you've never had really fresh fish, really fresh fish is so flavorful and delicious and just a little bit of butter and lemon on it and just a little bit of seasoning and...
01:26:38.000 I've done that plenty of times.
01:26:40.000 I've gone on organized fishing, you know, deep sea fishing.
01:26:44.000 You know what we should do?
01:26:46.000 We should organize a gig in Alaska in July during the Salmon Run.
01:26:51.000 That's a great idea.
01:26:52.000 We'll do a gig up there in Anchorage.
01:26:54.000 I got time.
01:26:55.000 We'll catch some salmon for a few days.
01:26:57.000 Dude.
01:26:57.000 Do a gig to pay for the whole trip.
01:26:59.000 Yeah.
01:26:59.000 Just have a good time.
01:27:01.000 Ari and I did that a few years back.
01:27:02.000 I would love to do that, dude.
01:27:03.000 Ari and I did that and we caught some giant salmon.
01:27:05.000 Let's do that.
01:27:06.000 We caught some king salmon that were like 30 pounds.
01:27:08.000 Wow.
01:27:09.000 That was amazing.
01:27:10.000 Wow.
01:27:10.000 I ate salmon for fucking months.
01:27:12.000 Jesus.
01:27:13.000 Yeah.
01:27:13.000 I love that.
01:27:14.000 It's so fun.
01:27:15.000 I'd love to do that.
01:27:16.000 But you know what's fucked?
01:27:17.000 The mosquitoes.
01:27:17.000 It's crazy.
01:27:19.000 The worst.
01:27:19.000 You never see anything like it.
01:27:21.000 It's like an assault.
01:27:22.000 It's like a gang violence situation.
01:27:23.000 I saw it in Indonesia when I was tracking orangutans in the rainforest.
01:27:29.000 I was 21 or whatever, and I thought I wanted to be a naturalist.
01:27:33.000 Yeah, I love that story about the ants.
01:27:35.000 Oh, dude.
01:27:36.000 Fuck.
01:27:37.000 Forget the ants.
01:27:38.000 You had to carry a sulfur coil because bug repellent didn't work on those mosquitoes.
01:27:44.000 You had to carry around a sulfur coil.
01:27:46.000 Look at that.
01:27:47.000 That's Ari in the salmon.
01:27:48.000 Look at Ari, the great outdoorsman.
01:27:50.000 Look at that fucking salmon, man.
01:27:51.000 The great Jewish outdoorsman.
01:27:52.000 That is a big ass salmon.
01:27:54.000 Yeah, it is.
01:27:55.000 Is there any more pictures of our fish now?
01:27:57.000 I think there's one picture.
01:28:00.000 There's one other thing, but I didn't check that.
01:28:01.000 That's a big-ass fish, though.
01:28:03.000 Look at Ari.
01:28:04.000 Handsome bastard.
01:28:06.000 Yeah, it's fun, man.
01:28:08.000 I love fishing.
01:28:09.000 I really wish there was a place close to my house where I could fish.
01:28:13.000 It's very peaceful.
01:28:14.000 You know, like, fish for your breakfast, catch a trout, and then, you know, cook that motherfucker in a pan right there on the shore.
01:28:22.000 It's incredible.
01:28:23.000 You know what they have a lot of, and people want to hunt them?
01:28:25.000 Like, just in Napa Valley, a shitload of mountain lions.
01:28:29.000 Yeah, they can't hunt them, no.
01:28:30.000 No, they're everywhere, though, apparently.
01:28:32.000 Too many of them.
01:28:34.000 There's a real dumb thing because they do hunt them, but they hunt them with professional hunters that the state has to hire because they get depredation permits because these things start killing livestock or dogs or...
01:28:47.000 Well, they grabbed a llama.
01:28:48.000 One of them grabbed a llama and jumped over the fence with the llama.
01:28:51.000 In its mouth, yeah.
01:28:52.000 I mean, that's fucking nuts.
01:28:53.000 Yeah, you can't do that.
01:28:55.000 No, no.
01:28:55.000 It's crazy.
01:28:56.000 I trained, but...
01:28:57.000 But even if you train.
01:28:58.000 You put it on your back.
01:28:59.000 Let's say if you put a llama in a backpack.
01:29:03.000 Say you got like a fucking kafaru backpack.
01:29:05.000 Yeah, good luck.
01:29:06.000 Stuffed the llama in there.
01:29:07.000 You had the whole llama.
01:29:08.000 You zipped it in.
01:29:09.000 Okay, go over that fence.
01:29:11.000 You'd be like, what?
01:29:12.000 My buddy who's a guide in Alaska, my buddy Chad, he said that they were climbing up this mountain.
01:29:17.000 It was a fucking nightmare.
01:29:19.000 Like just slogging up this steep mountain.
01:29:22.000 And they were like looking up.
01:29:24.000 And they're like, god damn, this is a nightmare.
01:29:26.000 And You know, you're making like inches.
01:29:27.000 Yeah.
01:29:28.000 Just like, oh, oh, and you got a backpack and it's just like, when is this going to be over?
01:29:31.000 And don't try not to think about it.
01:29:34.000 Let's take a break.
01:29:36.000 You know?
01:29:37.000 Yeah.
01:29:37.000 And they just hear this.
01:29:39.000 And they just see this grizzly with an elk in its mouth.
01:29:42.000 And it just bounds up the mountain.
01:29:44.000 It just goes shagging, shagging, right by them with an elk in its mouth.
01:29:49.000 And just goes up over the mountain and over the ridge.
01:29:52.000 Just no problem.
01:29:53.000 In 12 seconds.
01:29:55.000 And they were like, well, that's a grizzly.
01:29:57.000 That's how strong a fucking grizzly is.
01:29:59.000 And this is me.
01:30:00.000 Jesus Christ.
01:30:02.000 I'm so terrified.
01:30:04.000 I'm terrified.
01:30:05.000 I don't want to get fucked up by a chimpanzee.
01:30:08.000 A chimpanzee will eat my face and my balls, so I don't want that.
01:30:11.000 And I definitely don't want to get attacked by a grizzly because they'll start eating you when you're still alive.
01:30:16.000 Yeah.
01:30:17.000 And that's a problem.
01:30:18.000 Most of the time when grizzlies eat people, though, or most of the time when grizzlies kill people, they're not killing someone because they want to eat them.
01:30:24.000 Right.
01:30:25.000 They're killing someone because you startled them and they're with their females, the females with their cubs.
01:30:29.000 Oh.
01:30:29.000 That's most of it.
01:30:30.000 So what happens when, what are you supposed to do when a grizzly just pray?
01:30:33.000 Well, if it's a female grizzly, you are literally better off letting her fuck you up.
01:30:38.000 Right.
01:30:39.000 Just curl up in a ball, you're supposed to put your hand behind your neck, lay in a fetal position, and don't let her get access to your organs.
01:30:46.000 Because she wants to chew your organs apart.
01:30:48.000 Jesus!
01:30:49.000 Yeah, it's one of the reasons why it's really important to have a strong backpack.
01:30:52.000 If you have a strong backpack, she'll fuck up that backpack while you're on your knees, curled up in a fetal position.
01:30:59.000 But that's assuming you can survive that.
01:31:01.000 She's probably going to break your arms.
01:31:03.000 She's probably going to snap your legs, bite into you in ways that you can't imagine the kind of force and power she can generate.
01:31:09.000 She's trying to immobilize you.
01:31:11.000 She wants to immobilize you as a threat to her children.
01:31:13.000 But a male, if a male's trying to kill you, it's usually because he's starving to death.
01:31:18.000 They don't recognize people as a food source.
01:31:20.000 Because they rarely eat people.
01:31:22.000 So that male probably has never eaten a person.
01:31:26.000 It's one of the reasons why it's safer to be in a place where they hunt grizzlies.
01:31:30.000 Because in a place where they hunt grizzlies, a grizzly sees a person and goes, fuck this.
01:31:33.000 They'll smell you and get the fuck out of there.
01:31:35.000 But like Yellowstone, They haven't hunt grizzlies there in forever.
01:31:39.000 So people still get jacked there.
01:31:42.000 They get jacked there every couple of years.
01:31:43.000 I would always have a gun with me.
01:31:45.000 You should, but you might not be able to get to it.
01:31:47.000 And you also have to be prepared to pull it out and shoot quickly.
01:31:51.000 You can't think that just because you have a gun, you're going to be okay.
01:31:53.000 No, because you don't hear them coming up on you.
01:31:55.000 They come up so fast.
01:31:56.000 They move so fast.
01:31:58.000 They run fast as a dog.
01:32:00.000 And they're huge.
01:32:01.000 Is that true?
01:32:01.000 Yes.
01:32:02.000 They run fast as fuck, man.
01:32:03.000 Fuck.
01:32:04.000 And they're huge.
01:32:05.000 I mean, it's a giant animal, man.
01:32:06.000 What is it, 800 pounds?
01:32:07.000 Sure.
01:32:07.000 Think about that.
01:32:08.000 Sure.
01:32:08.000 I just stumbled across a story about this just happening where the bear spray didn't work, and it was attacking the guide, and the client went to grab the Glock out of the...
01:32:20.000 Pack.
01:32:20.000 It didn't fire.
01:32:22.000 Then the bear came after him.
01:32:23.000 So he tried to throw the gun to the other guy.
01:32:25.000 And then it didn't.
01:32:26.000 That guy just ran it, I guess.
01:32:27.000 I was trying to follow this story.
01:32:29.000 And who died?
01:32:29.000 It doesn't...
01:32:31.000 I don't...
01:32:32.000 I didn't find...
01:32:33.000 Look, it happens all the time.
01:32:34.000 The best story is Rinella's story.
01:32:37.000 Rinella and Remy Warren and Giannis Putelis and our friends, they got attacked while they were in a Fognac Island in Alaska.
01:32:47.000 Jesus.
01:32:47.000 When?
01:32:48.000 Recently?
01:32:49.000 Yes, like two years ago.
01:32:51.000 And Remy came on here and told the story, and it's fucking terrifying.
01:32:55.000 God, what happened?
01:32:55.000 Well, they killed an elk, and they had hung it in a tree, and they had taken some of the meat back, because, you know, you have to hike out.
01:33:03.000 A Fognac is particularly dense.
01:33:05.000 It's very, very dense.
01:33:07.000 Remember when we were on Prince of Wales Island?
01:33:11.000 Yes.
01:33:11.000 Dense.
01:33:12.000 Dense.
01:33:13.000 Yeah.
01:33:13.000 Well, it's like that, but even worse.
01:33:15.000 And grizzlies everywhere.
01:33:16.000 Yes.
01:33:16.000 Grizzlies everywhere.
01:33:17.000 I have a huge problem with that.
01:33:18.000 When we were on that island, that island had black bears.
01:33:20.000 Yeah.
01:33:21.000 Which, weirdly enough, they're not as dangerous, but they are more predatory to its people.
01:33:25.000 I want a giant spiked helmet and spiked collar, and I want my guns in my hand.
01:33:29.000 Kevlar clothes.
01:33:30.000 And I want Kevlar clothes.
01:33:30.000 I want an Iron Man suit.
01:33:32.000 That's right.
01:33:32.000 I want to be able to shoot rockets out of my hands.
01:33:35.000 That's right.
01:33:36.000 And I want to be able to electrify it when the thing bites me.
01:33:38.000 Yes.
01:33:39.000 Kill it.
01:33:40.000 And then immediately cut its head off and put it on a stake so all the other grizzly bears know not to fuck with you.
01:33:44.000 That's exactly right.
01:33:45.000 Right.
01:33:46.000 I like how you think.
01:33:47.000 There you go.
01:33:47.000 We're on it.
01:33:48.000 I think like a man.
01:33:48.000 Yeah, we definitely need to go on a hunt again.
01:33:50.000 I know, dude.
01:33:51.000 It's so much fun.
01:33:51.000 Yeah, even if it's a rifle hunt.
01:33:53.000 I'll go on a rifle hunt.
01:33:54.000 You just love bow hunting, huh?
01:33:56.000 I love it.
01:33:56.000 You bought me a bow.
01:33:57.000 I was going to bring it today.
01:33:59.000 How many times did you shoot it?
01:33:59.000 Zero?
01:34:00.000 I never shot it.
01:34:00.000 I want to do it here.
01:34:01.000 I bought you a bow three years ago.
01:34:03.000 I know.
01:34:03.000 I'll get you a new one.
01:34:04.000 No, I want that one.
01:34:05.000 Hoyt comes out with new models every year.
01:34:07.000 No, I like that one.
01:34:08.000 I've never shot it.
01:34:09.000 It's a great bow.
01:34:10.000 So let me get used to that one.
01:34:11.000 I'll become expert.
01:34:13.000 Well, what I would like you to do, honestly, what I'd like to do, and we should organize this with John.
01:34:18.000 Oh, John Dudley, because we have access to literally the best archery coach on the planet Earth in John Dudley.
01:34:25.000 He's the best.
01:34:26.000 He's so good.
01:34:27.000 First of all, he was a world-class competitive archer.
01:34:31.000 He competed on the world stage.
01:34:34.000 He traveled all throughout the planet.
01:34:36.000 So what are the principles he teaches?
01:34:39.000 First of all, it's just like martial arts.
01:34:42.000 If you have a bad coach, you'll develop bad technique, and it's going to be very difficult for you to learn.
01:34:47.000 You can still excel.
01:34:48.000 Some people still excel with bad coaching.
01:34:50.000 There's people that have just a natural ability to fight, and you teach them just a few things.
01:34:56.000 They know how to put knuckles to your face.
01:34:58.000 Some people are just better at that.
01:35:00.000 And they have a good mentality for it.
01:35:03.000 But they would be way better if they were with Farah Sahabi.
01:35:06.000 They would be way better if they were with Duke Rufus.
01:35:08.000 There's just no doubt about it.
01:35:09.000 Great coaching is imperative for achieving your full potential.
01:35:13.000 100%.
01:35:14.000 That's the same thing with archery.
01:35:16.000 With archery, a guy like John Dudley will put the fundamentals in the perfect position for you.
01:35:22.000 He changed my archery so much that I had been doing archery for more than a year or so before I met him, maybe a year and a half.
01:35:30.000 My ability jumped up 20-30% within the first couple hours of meeting him.
01:35:37.000 Yeah.
01:35:38.000 What?
01:35:38.000 100%.
01:35:39.000 Jesus!
01:35:39.000 We have video of me and him in my backyard, and I'm laying these nocturnal arrow knocks, they're lit knocks, so they fly through the air, it looks like laser beams, and I'm laying them into my elk target at like 65 yards, thunk, thunk,
01:35:55.000 thunk, all of them going into the vitals.
01:35:56.000 Well, boxing is like that.
01:35:58.000 I had Donald Cerrone one time just sit there and explain to me where to place my feet and what I was doing wrong and why more weight should be on my back foot.
01:36:07.000 But just little things like that, or my buddy Tarek, and Wayne McCulloch, of course, who I train with.
01:36:13.000 But my boy Tarek, he'll teach me stuff.
01:36:15.000 He comes from that MMA background.
01:36:17.000 But just where you're looking, how to judge distance, and there are certain techniques to do it, or just where your back foot should be in relation to that person's foot.
01:36:26.000 Just how to set things up.
01:36:29.000 Some people can simplify it and teach you those basic principles where you're like...
01:36:34.000 Damn!
01:36:34.000 Damn, it makes such a huge difference.
01:36:36.000 A huge difference.
01:36:38.000 I mean, there's ways to do things correctly, and people have spent their entire life learning these things and learning how to teach these things, too, which is critical.
01:36:51.000 We both came from a Taekwondo background, and I got very, very, very fortunate in that the school that I found, that I stumbled into, J. Kim Taekwondo Institute in Boston, was one of the best gyms on earth.
01:37:04.000 I just got super lucky.
01:37:06.000 So I learned from the time I was a young kid, I learned the right way to do things.
01:37:11.000 And the emphasis was always on technique.
01:37:14.000 It didn't matter how fast you were.
01:37:17.000 If you were doing it wrong, you were corrected.
01:37:18.000 The Russians are like that.
01:37:20.000 There's this tennis woman in Moscow who's responsible for the tennis revolution, Sharapova and all those people.
01:37:27.000 And she is a coach who, she's like 77. She's got like two courts.
01:37:33.000 And the kids, when they get there, I don't think they're allowed to really hit a ball for the first six months.
01:37:39.000 I mean, you're swing.
01:37:42.000 And your positioning, she ingrains those fundamentals so that you can't do it wrong.
01:37:49.000 So before you start playing tennis, you are ingraining neural pathways and patterns that are perfectly correct so that when the shit hits the fan, you get emotional, you don't know how to do it wrong.
01:38:02.000 You don't know how.
01:38:03.000 Right, right, right.
01:38:03.000 I think Virgil Hunter and those guys do the same thing when they train.
01:38:08.000 Virgil Hill?
01:38:09.000 Virgil Hill, I'm sorry.
01:38:10.000 I'm sorry.
01:38:10.000 Virgil Hill.
01:38:10.000 No, but Hunter, who is...
01:38:13.000 Who's Andre Ward's coach?
01:38:15.000 Virgil Hill.
01:38:16.000 Isn't that right?
01:38:17.000 No, I think it's Virgil Hunter.
01:38:18.000 Look that up.
01:38:20.000 Virgil Hill was the light heavyweight champion that Roy Jones Jr. knocked out with a body shot.
01:38:26.000 Virgil Hunter is, I think, his coach.
01:38:28.000 I've been talking to Andre Ward on Instagram, too.
01:38:30.000 I've got to get a hold of him.
01:38:32.000 He's such a master.
01:38:33.000 He's not just a master.
01:38:35.000 He's a brilliant analyst, too.
01:38:37.000 He's amazing.
01:38:38.000 He was trained where the discipline of fundamentals and perfecting your technique.
01:38:44.000 Virgil Hunter?
01:38:45.000 Yeah, Virgil Hunter.
01:38:46.000 If you listen to Virgil Hunter, I listen to the way he speaks.
01:38:50.000 I obsess over that.
01:38:52.000 I love watching the old school guys.
01:38:54.000 There's this guy, Coach Anthony, who I watch his videos on YouTube.
01:38:58.000 I think he's in Kansas City, by the way.
01:38:59.000 I'd love to get in there and train with him.
01:39:01.000 He's a guy who, like, breaks shit down in those little details.
01:39:06.000 And you just realize what a science boxing is.
01:39:08.000 And you realize, like, it was that awesome Teddy Atlas thing you did where he goes, his boxer, like, you're making mistakes, but then there are mortal.
01:39:15.000 Like, you're making sins, but you're making mortal sins, like getting hit with shots you don't see.
01:39:19.000 Yeah.
01:39:20.000 He can teach you how to avoid that.
01:39:22.000 And that's a little detail.
01:39:24.000 And everything in life is that way.
01:39:25.000 It's like, you want to be really good at something, get great coaching, and it's those small adjustments that make all the difference.
01:39:33.000 Like, the difference between the number 100 tennis player in the world and the number 2 tennis player in the world is that much, but it's all the difference in the world.
01:39:40.000 Yeah, learning how to do things correctly in every single discipline is the most important thing.
01:39:48.000 Learning how to do it correctly.
01:39:49.000 And then from there, all your creativity and all your ability to improvise all comes from these perfect fundamentals.
01:39:57.000 That's right.
01:39:58.000 Did you watch Earl Spence Jr. and Mikey Garcia?
01:40:00.000 I did not.
01:40:00.000 I did not, but I want to see Earl Spence.
01:40:02.000 He just looks so much bigger than Mikey Garcia.
01:40:04.000 He looks a lot bigger.
01:40:05.000 Yeah.
01:40:05.000 A lot bigger.
01:40:06.000 I want to see Earl Spence and Mr. Crawford go at it.
01:40:09.000 Ooh, me too.
01:40:10.000 That's gonna be a fight.
01:40:11.000 That's gonna be a big fight.
01:40:12.000 I just felt like Mike Garcia, who I love, I'm gonna watch it, but he just looked so much smaller, and Earl Spence hits too hard.
01:40:20.000 He won't look bigger, he won't look that much bigger than Terrence.
01:40:23.000 Terrence Crawford is about as, he's basically the same size.
01:40:26.000 He's a genius.
01:40:27.000 He's a guy who changes things up, man.
01:40:28.000 He's a genius.
01:40:29.000 He's always thinking.
01:40:30.000 And he'll come out and fight the first five rounds of the southpaw, and you think you got him figured out, and then he'll switch stances and fuck you up.
01:40:36.000 It's so weird.
01:40:37.000 Yeah.
01:40:37.000 That kind of genius, that kind of high fight IQ is crazy.
01:40:41.000 What's also that ambidextrous ability is so critical.
01:40:43.000 I mean, that was Marvin Hagler.
01:40:45.000 Marvin Hagler used to switch back and forth and you couldn't do jack shit about it.
01:40:48.000 He would fight you as a southpaw just as good as he'd fight you as orthodox and you didn't know what the fuck was coming next.
01:40:53.000 Well, there was that, Duran could do that.
01:40:55.000 There was that fighter who said, I can't, he's reading my mind.
01:40:58.000 He came back and he goes, he's reading my mind.
01:40:59.000 He goes, what?
01:41:00.000 He goes, he knows what I'm going to do before I do it.
01:41:01.000 Well, Duran understood those patterns so well, he could just, he'd just cut you off.
01:41:06.000 He'd just be like, I know what you're going to do.
01:41:08.000 I can see already what you're setting up before you do it.
01:41:12.000 Yeah, that's like jujitsu.
01:41:13.000 You know, you have a role with someone who's really good.
01:41:15.000 I watched Henner.
01:41:16.000 I watched Henner Gracie.
01:41:17.000 They know what you're doing way before you're going to do it.
01:41:19.000 I watched Henry Gracie take Brennan Schaub, Leota Machida.
01:41:22.000 I mean, all these killers.
01:41:24.000 He was starting on his back, and they were on top of him, and he would choke them out.
01:41:29.000 I was like, what?
01:41:30.000 Yeah, he lets them take his back.
01:41:32.000 But again, he's so far ahead of them.
01:41:34.000 He knows what you're going to do, so he can cut you off.
01:41:36.000 It's like every time I try to move around with Wayne McCullough, he'll just...
01:41:41.000 No matter what I'm doing, I'm doing the winky right thing.
01:41:44.000 I'm keeping my hands here.
01:41:45.000 And he just finds your face.
01:41:47.000 And he's touching you.
01:41:48.000 It's like everything, right?
01:41:51.000 You get better at everything.
01:41:53.000 You know that feeling that you get when you watch someone who's only been doing stand-up like a year?
01:41:57.000 And you see them going on in front of a crowd.
01:41:59.000 And you see them choking up and panicking and maybe rushing a joke or being awkward.
01:42:05.000 I have to run away.
01:42:06.000 Yeah, man, it's weird.
01:42:08.000 But then, ladies and gentlemen, here's your next comic, Brian Callan.
01:42:12.000 You can just go up and just loose and relax.
01:42:14.000 You've seen it all before.
01:42:15.000 That's what I do.
01:42:16.000 But this is what I like.
01:42:17.000 What I like is that there are all these things that you can do like that, where you just get better.
01:42:23.000 If you keep doing it, you learn more.
01:42:25.000 I think learning things and getting better- There's an art to learning.
01:42:28.000 Yeah, there's an art to learning, but I think it's so critical to enjoying life.
01:42:32.000 I think that's one of the, like, learning stuff and doing difficult things where you can see incremental improvement that's based on your effort and your concentration.
01:42:41.000 I think these are really important for happiness.
01:42:44.000 A hundred percent.
01:42:45.000 Like, think about all of our friends that are really happy.
01:42:48.000 We're all pursuing things.
01:42:50.000 Also, I know where to place my energy and I can see myself getting better, but more importantly, not only do I see myself getting better, but I come to understandings.
01:42:58.000 When I'm writing stand-up now, when I'm thinking of what my next one hour is going to be, I start kind of like getting to what I think about in essence.
01:43:11.000 Like, where am I right now?
01:43:13.000 I've kind of arrived at a place I set these goals for myself, and now what?
01:43:17.000 Now what?
01:43:18.000 Now I've got to stand still, maybe.
01:43:19.000 What the fuck does that look like?
01:43:21.000 I'm going to write about that.
01:43:23.000 I'm going to write about my life has been either a fight or I'm ready to run away, right?
01:43:27.000 I did this joke about not wearing moccasins, and I had this therapist who wore moccasins.
01:43:31.000 I was like, I don't trust somebody who wears moccasins.
01:43:33.000 Moccasins are really good for stalking.
01:43:34.000 Yeah, you're either...
01:43:36.000 I was going to say, the only time a moccasin is macho is if you're sneaking up on a castle guard to take him out with a knife or you're hunting deer.
01:43:43.000 That's the only time.
01:43:44.000 Otherwise, you're a cult leader and you're selling your cock.
01:43:46.000 I have three pairs of moccasins.
01:43:47.000 Well, I don't trust you.
01:43:49.000 Unless you've got a bow in your hand.
01:43:51.000 If you come out with moccasins and you're smiling, you're trying to fuck me.
01:43:53.000 I just bought a new pair.
01:43:55.000 You did?
01:43:55.000 Yeah.
01:43:56.000 Alright, well, good.
01:43:57.000 Just for stalking.
01:43:58.000 I like that.
01:44:00.000 Just so you don't break any twigs under your fucking foot.
01:44:03.000 Well, you want to be.
01:44:06.000 Yes.
01:44:07.000 Very quietly.
01:44:07.000 Well, when I was in Indonesia and my Dayak guides, the indigenous people of Indonesia, didn't break a twig under their feet.
01:44:15.000 I'm sure.
01:44:15.000 Bare feet, sir.
01:44:16.000 Bare feet in the...
01:44:17.000 Oh, bare feet are great.
01:44:18.000 I'd hunt bare feet.
01:44:19.000 In the rainforest.
01:44:21.000 No problem.
01:44:21.000 If I didn't worry about cooties, I'd hunt with bare feet.
01:44:23.000 You got leeches, you got spiders, they didn't give a shit.
01:44:29.000 I'm worried about snakes in the good old U.S. of A. As well you should be.
01:44:32.000 Yeah.
01:44:32.000 Especially warm months.
01:44:34.000 Oh, man.
01:44:34.000 The last scene when he hears...
01:44:39.000 Painful.
01:44:39.000 Fuck, man.
01:44:41.000 I've never been bitten, but I've had my dogs bitten three times.
01:44:44.000 Remember Frank?
01:44:45.000 Yeah, Frank got bitten three fucking times.
01:44:47.000 Yeah, Frank and Lucy, they both got bitten.
01:44:50.000 You have to get him...
01:44:52.000 Got to bring him to the fucking doctor.
01:44:53.000 One time I brought him to the doctor.
01:44:55.000 The doctor looked at him and says, well, I don't see any swelling.
01:44:58.000 It might not have gotten him because he killed the snake.
01:45:00.000 I was like, I don't see that.
01:45:03.000 He's such a psycho.
01:45:04.000 He's not smart.
01:45:06.000 He just would charge in and just snap at things.
01:45:08.000 The idea that this thing didn't bite him.
01:45:10.000 He goes, well, you know, if he's feeling bad, take him back in again.
01:45:14.000 I bring him home.
01:45:15.000 An hour later, his face is growing a basketball off the side of it.
01:45:18.000 That's what happened to my dog.
01:45:20.000 I bring him back in.
01:45:22.000 But it was expensive, too, man, which is a real bummer because it's thousands and thousands of dollars for this anti-venom.
01:45:28.000 And if you're a poor person, they want that money right now.
01:45:31.000 I know.
01:45:31.000 I know, man.
01:45:32.000 I have pet insurance.
01:45:34.000 My dog got hit by a car.
01:45:35.000 $14,000, sir.
01:45:37.000 Thank God for pet insurance.
01:45:39.000 Wow.
01:45:39.000 I paid like nothing.
01:45:40.000 It was incredible.
01:45:43.000 So pet insurance is a necessary thing.
01:45:46.000 My dog got bit by a rattlesnake.
01:45:47.000 I didn't see the rattlesnake, but I heard my dog like that.
01:45:50.000 And I went, what the fuck?
01:45:51.000 And we're walking back.
01:45:53.000 I've never seen anything like that.
01:45:55.000 We're walking back and my dog's tongue is out.
01:45:57.000 And my dog starts weaving.
01:45:59.000 And then just kind of falls over.
01:46:00.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:46:01.000 I pick the dog up.
01:46:02.000 I bring that dog to the vet.
01:46:03.000 I thought maybe he got stung by a wasp or something.
01:46:06.000 I didn't know.
01:46:07.000 And then I was like, this is she.
01:46:08.000 I was like, I think she got bit by a rattlesnake.
01:46:10.000 And she was so swollen.
01:46:13.000 Her head was so...
01:46:14.000 By the time I got there, her head literally looked like a giant balloon.
01:46:18.000 Yeah, it's horrible.
01:46:19.000 And I said, I think my dog got bit by a rattlesnake.
01:46:21.000 Do you know what's really crazy?
01:46:22.000 I don't know if they ever gave her antivenom when I think about it.
01:46:24.000 You know what's really crazy is the venom is actually digesting tissue.
01:46:29.000 Yeah.
01:46:30.000 That's what's fucked up.
01:46:31.000 What that venom is for, if they bite a snake, like a snake bites a rabbit or some shit like that, it's actually digesting the rabbit.
01:46:40.000 Because they don't have a stomach like we have.
01:46:43.000 Their whole body is just like one rot track.
01:46:47.000 Things just rot inside of it and they absorb it slowly.
01:46:51.000 That's why you've got to amputate a lot of times if you don't get to it.
01:46:53.000 Yeah.
01:46:54.000 Dirty monsters.
01:46:55.000 Do you ever see that video that I posted that I got from one of those guys that I follow on Instagram?
01:47:02.000 But they were in the desert, and this big fucking huge fat rattlesnake had a rabbit and was dragging the rabbit away.
01:47:11.000 No.
01:47:11.000 And this lifeless rabbit is being dragged away by this thing that's as thick as my forearm.
01:47:15.000 Oh my God.
01:47:17.000 Let me see that.
01:47:17.000 Yeah, see if you can find it.
01:47:18.000 Good luck finding it.
01:47:20.000 It's probably four years ago.
01:47:22.000 Jesus Christ.
01:47:22.000 Three years ago?
01:47:23.000 Four years ago?
01:47:24.000 Is it?
01:47:24.000 Found it?
01:47:25.000 Jamie's a wizard.
01:47:25.000 Jamie, you're amazing, man.
01:47:26.000 How do you do that?
01:47:27.000 He's so good.
01:47:28.000 Watch this.
01:47:29.000 So this thing, look at this.
01:47:31.000 It's got the rabbit.
01:47:32.000 Wow.
01:47:33.000 Yeah.
01:47:33.000 And they close in on it.
01:47:35.000 So cool.
01:47:36.000 And it just drags it away.
01:47:38.000 Wow.
01:47:40.000 It's creepy.
01:47:41.000 Yeah, it is.
01:47:42.000 This is a different video.
01:47:44.000 I've had snakes.
01:47:44.000 The one that I had, it was a bigger snake, and it pulls it away way quicker.
01:47:50.000 But it's just a gross little animal.
01:47:53.000 But then again, you need those gross little animals.
01:47:57.000 That's the argument that people say you don't want coyotes in your neighborhood.
01:48:01.000 Well, okay, I kind of see what you're saying, but the problem is you don't want rats in your neighborhood either, stupid.
01:48:06.000 Yeah.
01:48:07.000 And Coyote's gonna kill the rats.
01:48:09.000 They do, right?
01:48:10.000 What is this one?
01:48:10.000 The mom rabbit comes and fucks up the snake.
01:48:13.000 Oh, that's right.
01:48:14.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:48:16.000 What?
01:48:16.000 Really?
01:48:17.000 Yeah.
01:48:21.000 Yeah, the mom rabbit recognizes.
01:48:24.000 Some shit is going down.
01:48:25.000 Fucks up that snake.
01:48:28.000 Get off my baby.
01:48:29.000 Look at that.
01:48:30.000 Yeah, rabbits are fucking fierce, man.
01:48:32.000 They're rodents, man.
01:48:34.000 Giant rats with no tail.
01:48:36.000 A video where a kid stopped a cat, I think it was like a bobcat, a small bobcat, like in a village, was getting attacked by some snakes and was protecting its babies.
01:48:46.000 And the mom just left the babies to die or whatever because she knew that she couldn't fight it.
01:48:51.000 The kid just grabbed the snake by the head and walked it away and threw it like in the bush, came back and grabbed the babies and gave them back to the mom.
01:48:58.000 It was a crazy video.
01:49:00.000 A little like eight-year-old kid, maybe younger.
01:49:03.000 It was wild.
01:49:04.000 Grabbed the snake.
01:49:05.000 Grabbed the snake.
01:49:06.000 It was an eight, seven, six, eight-foot snake, six to eight-foot probably.
01:49:09.000 That's crazy.
01:49:11.000 Some kids grow up hard, dude.
01:49:13.000 I have no idea what country I was in.
01:49:15.000 When I was a kid, I would grab snakes.
01:49:16.000 If I saw a snake, I'm going for it.
01:49:18.000 Yeah.
01:49:18.000 I was obsessed with snakes.
01:49:20.000 You're lucky you're alive.
01:49:20.000 I know.
01:49:20.000 I'd grab whatever, but I didn't live in a place where there were poison snakes.
01:49:23.000 Well, when I lived in Florida, I was always worried about running into an alligator.
01:49:29.000 We'd run into alligators and snapping turtles, a lot of snapping turtles.
01:49:34.000 Some snakes.
01:49:35.000 There were some snakes who we'd run into, too.
01:49:37.000 The problem with Florida is, yeah, once in a while, there's an American crocodile.
01:49:41.000 They even say in the Everglades they got a couple of Niles out there.
01:49:44.000 Oh yeah, they do.
01:49:45.000 A couple of the old Nile crocs.
01:49:46.000 Yeah, assholes who got them as pets.
01:49:49.000 In the 70s.
01:49:49.000 And they just let them loose, and now they have a viable population.
01:49:53.000 That's correct.
01:49:53.000 What is this young boy doing?
01:49:54.000 This is the kid.
01:49:55.000 It almost seems fake because they have cameras everywhere.
01:49:57.000 I think it's fake.
01:49:58.000 I think that's fake.
01:49:58.000 But he does it, regardless of the fact.
01:50:00.000 It's a pet python.
01:50:02.000 I would have done that in a heartbeat as a kid.
01:50:04.000 So he's pulling on it?
01:50:06.000 Is that a python?
01:50:07.000 Oh, they set this up, bro.
01:50:09.000 That's what I mean.
01:50:09.000 As I was pulling back up and seeing all the cuts, I was like, okay, that might not be real.
01:50:13.000 This is a setup.
01:50:14.000 This is a setup.
01:50:15.000 Look, look how he grabs it.
01:50:16.000 That kid's been grabbing snakes his whole life.
01:50:18.000 Yeah.
01:50:19.000 He grabbed that thing.
01:50:20.000 Expertly.
01:50:21.000 I'd make that thing a cock holster.
01:50:22.000 That's what I would do.
01:50:23.000 A cock holster.
01:50:24.000 Cock rings.
01:50:26.000 Just a bunch of cock rings or a cock holster.
01:50:28.000 Turn that motherfucker into a belt.
01:50:30.000 Uh-huh.
01:50:32.000 Yeah, it's like growing up like that around snakes and all kinds of evil fucking shit like that.
01:50:38.000 Have you been to South Africa?
01:50:40.000 No.
01:50:40.000 Man, Cape Town.
01:50:41.000 I'm scared.
01:50:42.000 Cape Town is the most beautiful place I've ever been in my life.
01:50:44.000 That's a lot.
01:50:44.000 But I saw a wild Babylon.
01:50:45.000 That's a lot, but thanks for playing.
01:50:46.000 It is.
01:50:47.000 No, it might be the most beautiful place I've ever seen.
01:50:50.000 Just like...
01:50:50.000 The way it looks?
01:50:51.000 Oh, fuck.
01:50:52.000 It's incredible.
01:50:52.000 What's so beautiful?
01:50:53.000 Bring up Cape Town.
01:50:55.000 It's ridiculous.
01:50:56.000 Ridiculous?
01:50:56.000 It's ridiculous.
01:50:58.000 But I saw...
01:50:59.000 I saw...
01:50:59.000 For me, it's ridiculous.
01:51:01.000 Ridiculous.
01:51:02.000 It's not that.
01:51:03.000 I don't do it.
01:51:04.000 Oh, it's so beautiful.
01:51:06.000 Not bad looking.
01:51:06.000 No, no, no.
01:51:07.000 You don't understand.
01:51:07.000 Kind of like Australia better.
01:51:09.000 No!
01:51:09.000 You have no idea.
01:51:10.000 Don't ever bring up Australia.
01:51:11.000 Wait, what about Maui?
01:51:13.000 It's better!
01:51:13.000 No, that's not true.
01:51:15.000 I'm telling you, Cape Town.
01:51:15.000 Now you're just lying to people.
01:51:17.000 I've been all over.
01:51:17.000 Cape Town has got my number one.
01:51:19.000 I'm sure it's awesome.
01:51:19.000 In terms of breathtaking.
01:51:21.000 Really?
01:51:21.000 Yeah, and food.
01:51:23.000 Would you have any interest in going to Africa and going hunting?
01:51:28.000 Well, I've been to Africa now four times.
01:51:30.000 It's a long flight.
01:51:32.000 What will we be hunting?
01:51:34.000 Antelope, shit like that.
01:51:35.000 Kudu.
01:51:36.000 I love Kudu.
01:51:37.000 I've eaten it.
01:51:37.000 It's delicious.
01:51:39.000 But at the end of the day, I feel you'd get the same...
01:51:42.000 In a way, I feel you'd get the same...
01:51:44.000 Can I tell you what that would be?
01:51:46.000 You'd go to a game reserve, which is probably an abandoned cattle range.
01:51:53.000 Yes.
01:51:54.000 And they stocked the area with those animals.
01:51:57.000 Yes.
01:51:58.000 And so, in a way, I think you could get the same exact feeling...
01:52:02.000 In Texas.
01:52:04.000 Yeah, in Texas.
01:52:05.000 Right, in Texas.
01:52:05.000 And I'm not kidding.
01:52:06.000 And in Texas, you could go get Tex-Mex.
01:52:09.000 Correct, sir.
01:52:10.000 And now great food in Africa.
01:52:11.000 And no malaria.
01:52:12.000 There are a lot of those issues.
01:52:14.000 Yeah.
01:52:14.000 Right?
01:52:15.000 So the trip, by the time you get there, you're older.
01:52:18.000 It's just too fucking long.
01:52:20.000 You're older.
01:52:20.000 It's a 16-hour fight.
01:52:21.000 Fucking 16 hours, but then you've got to take a fucking bus and the whole thing, and something goes wrong every time.
01:52:27.000 What do you got, Jamie?
01:52:28.000 That photo I just flashed up at Cape Town just made me think of something I saw yesterday that I don't know if you saw.
01:52:33.000 What's that?
01:52:34.000 So they can create a picture like this.
01:52:37.000 Oh yeah, I did see that.
01:52:39.000 If you draw like a little sketch, they could instantly turn that into a photorealistic picture.
01:52:45.000 You haven't seen that?
01:52:46.000 No.
01:52:47.000 This just came out yesterday, two days ago.
01:52:49.000 It's fucking bananas.
01:52:50.000 So look at that sketch on the right.
01:52:52.000 So through the software rendering, they do something like that on the left, and then they make it on the right, but make it with a lake and a mountain.
01:53:00.000 Like, watch this.
01:53:01.000 Bam.
01:53:02.000 Damn, what?
01:53:03.000 Yeah, so this is within seconds they can create this.
01:53:08.000 And what is this software called, Jamie?
01:53:09.000 I don't know if the software, from what I saw, is made by NVIDIA, which is the video card maker and all sorts of other things.
01:53:16.000 So do you think they'll ever be able to replace comics?
01:53:21.000 No.
01:53:23.000 No, I don't think they're going to be able to figure out personality.
01:53:25.000 But I think what they can – they'll never figure out Joey Diaz.
01:53:28.000 Right.
01:53:28.000 But I think what they can do is make artificial reality.
01:53:35.000 They're going to be able to make artificial reality.
01:53:37.000 It's like how long will it take for that artificial reality – I don't think you can quantify creativity.
01:53:44.000 I don't think...
01:53:45.000 I might be wrong, though.
01:53:46.000 I might be wrong.
01:53:47.000 I don't think there's an algorithm.
01:53:49.000 Because part of what creativity is, is surprise and almost destruction.
01:53:54.000 Like, when you hear somebody say something you've never heard before, or a different take, that kind of destroys the old way of thinking.
01:54:03.000 That's kind of what a lot of creativity is.
01:54:05.000 Innovation is a form of destruction.
01:54:07.000 Yes.
01:54:07.000 And so...
01:54:10.000 Destroying ideas.
01:54:11.000 Yeah, but like when you see a great piece of art, there's a majesty to it.
01:54:20.000 You're awestruck.
01:54:21.000 Like the Vatican, the inside of the Sistine Chapel.
01:54:24.000 Perfect example.
01:54:25.000 I mean, you're awed that a human being did that for the sake of beauty in itself.
01:54:30.000 Over the course of hundreds of years, too.
01:54:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54:33.000 Generations of artists, right?
01:54:34.000 They'd work on the same tapestry or something.
01:54:36.000 Yeah.
01:54:37.000 That is an act of faith.
01:54:39.000 And you're doing it for its own sake.
01:54:41.000 You're not even doing it because you're making money.
01:54:43.000 It's like you are doing it because you can and because you want to see what you're capable of.
01:54:51.000 Like creating beauty for its own sake is...
01:54:53.000 But it's original.
01:54:55.000 It changes in many ways your perspective.
01:54:58.000 Like you kind of go...
01:55:01.000 So Nietzsche and Schopenhauer talked about the idea that there's the will, right?
01:55:05.000 So as a human being, you're stuck in this fucking, I gotta eat, I gotta fuck, I gotta sleep, and I gotta breed.
01:55:11.000 And I eat and I sleep and I fuck so I can breed, you know, and I can stay alive and further my gene pool.
01:55:18.000 And you're stuck in this kind of like will to live.
01:55:21.000 But there is a respite.
01:55:23.000 And that respite is when you see a great work of art or you're doing great works of art.
01:55:28.000 And somehow, when you see something beautiful, when you're laughing really hard at great stand-up, when you're seeing an amazing movie like American Beauty, the state it puts you in is so incredible because it gets you to forget momentarily about your own biology, about your own urges,
01:55:43.000 your own needs, your own wants.
01:55:45.000 For whatever reason, you rest in this state of majesty, this sort of high relief, your higher self, and you go, man, that might be what God's about.
01:55:53.000 That might be what it's like to be touching something bigger than myself or bigger than all this other appetite stuff.
01:56:00.000 It's almost like something, you forget about death and you forget about your fears and everything else.
01:56:07.000 You know, those feelings of inspiration.
01:56:09.000 That can happen when you're listening to great music or it can happen when you're making great music.
01:56:15.000 But that is almost the only time you have, I guess, and of course we can talk about flow when you're climbing a mountain with no ropes or whatever it might be.
01:56:23.000 I think that puts you in those states of true focus and true flow.
01:56:29.000 And that's what we stay alive for.
01:56:32.000 We stay alive for that.
01:56:33.000 And When you are not that, you know, everything else becomes drudgery, almost because everything becomes...
01:56:41.000 And I would even equate, like, we stay alive also, not just for accomplishments, but, like, when you're with your friends, like, when we're doing the Fight Companion and we're laughing and being silly geese for no other reason, there's a flow to that.
01:56:54.000 Oh, yeah.
01:56:54.000 There's a...
01:56:55.000 You are removed temporarily from...
01:57:01.000 Yeah, but Nietzsche was a mess.
01:57:18.000 They're all a mess!
01:57:19.000 They're all a mess!
01:57:20.000 They're all a mess!
01:57:21.000 Every fucking philosopher.
01:57:23.000 I've done my own studies on that.
01:57:25.000 Every philosopher didn't get laid and they lived alone.
01:57:27.000 And sometimes they lived with their mothers and they were all a disaster.
01:57:30.000 But they thought deeply about these subjects.
01:57:31.000 They have concepts.
01:57:32.000 They have concepts.
01:57:33.000 And oftentimes they're not really putting these concepts to practice in their own life, which is very strange.
01:57:37.000 That's right.
01:57:38.000 That's very true.
01:57:39.000 Yeah, those moments that we have when we're doing the Fight Companion where we're just fucking howling and laughing, that's why, and those, you can't recreate that.
01:57:48.000 You know, one of the things that's interesting about Fight Companion is a bunch of people have tried to recreate it.
01:57:53.000 They've done their own, and they always abandon it.
01:57:55.000 They just give up.
01:57:57.000 That's because we're really friends.
01:57:58.000 We're really friends, and we really go hard.
01:58:01.000 That's what I say about it.
01:58:02.000 We're really getting fucked up.
01:58:03.000 I mean, how many shows are there where people are just getting drunk and saying ridiculous shit live in front of millions of people?
01:58:14.000 I know.
01:58:15.000 And then we'll have a show where there's a UFC that may get 100,000 pay-per-view buys.
01:58:23.000 And we get 5 million views.
01:58:27.000 Is that how many we get?
01:58:29.000 Between YouTube and iTunes.
01:58:33.000 The next time I take my shirt off, I've got to be a little more jacked.
01:58:36.000 Well, at least you don't have psoriasis anymore.
01:58:38.000 That's true.
01:58:38.000 But people are like, you know, Fighter and Kid, I want to start my own podcast.
01:58:43.000 I go, we're friends.
01:58:45.000 We're really friends.
01:58:47.000 That's why it works.
01:58:48.000 You can't make it like the monkeys where you just fucking organize a fake band.
01:58:53.000 No fucking way.
01:58:55.000 We're just friends no matter what.
01:58:57.000 And Eddie is legitimately crazy, too.
01:58:59.000 And he's also legitimately a jujitsu genius.
01:59:02.000 Yeah.
01:59:03.000 He's an innovative fucking dude.
01:59:04.000 And he really does think the earth is flat.
01:59:06.000 Him and I have conversations.
01:59:07.000 I'm like, Eddie, stop!
01:59:09.000 Stop!
01:59:10.000 Once you go flat, you never go back.
01:59:11.000 I'm like, what does that mean?
01:59:12.000 He's great.
01:59:13.000 What does that mean?
01:59:14.000 He's so great.
01:59:15.000 I don't understand that thinking, but that's part of the reason why he's fun.
01:59:19.000 Yeah.
01:59:20.000 I was talking about him the other day, and they were like, he bugs me.
01:59:23.000 I go, he's a genuinely good person.
01:59:25.000 Oh, he's awesome.
01:59:26.000 He's a genuinely good human being.
01:59:28.000 I love that guy to death.
01:59:28.000 I love that guy.
01:59:29.000 He's been one of my best friends for 20 fucking years.
01:59:31.000 That's why, because he's such a good person.
01:59:33.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.
01:59:34.000 He's a great person.
01:59:35.000 And he's brilliant when it comes to jiu-jitsu.
01:59:39.000 I mean, really brilliant.
01:59:41.000 But his unique way of thinking, his creativity, is what allowed him to formulate that system.
01:59:49.000 That system of jiu-jitsu was a lot of very unorthodox entries and submissions.
01:59:55.000 He's very, very, very, very clever with his jiu-jitsu.
01:59:58.000 Very clever.
02:00:00.000 It's so important.
02:00:01.000 But you wonder, sometimes his brain, that kind of brain, it cuts all the way across.
02:00:07.000 It can have liabilities.
02:00:08.000 Your strengths are the same as your liabilities.
02:00:10.000 We all have that.
02:00:11.000 Well, he's super obsessed with conspiracies.
02:00:14.000 Legitimately super obsessed.
02:00:15.000 But it wasn't always...
02:00:16.000 It's a form of identity, though.
02:00:19.000 It also gives you a tribe, and it gives you people.
02:00:21.000 All of us have that.
02:00:22.000 Yeah, well, he does that Tinfoil Hat podcast, too, with Sam Tripoli, and then they do conspiracy stand-up comedy where they go to the performance clubs together, but it's really selling well.
02:00:31.000 I mean, they're doing great.
02:00:33.000 It's great for Sam, too.
02:00:35.000 It's good to see.
02:00:36.000 Sam's a great guy.
02:00:38.000 Like I was saying earlier, we're insanely fortunate in our circle of friends.
02:00:43.000 Insanely fortunate.
02:00:44.000 And the camaraderie that we all have, we all protect each other and look out for each other and support each other.
02:00:50.000 But I noticed that too, I feel so lucky that I get to do stand-up because the challenge never goes away.
02:00:56.000 And then I see a lot of actors, like Sean Penn, like Johnny Depp, like the guys I really looked at, Mickey Rourke.
02:01:03.000 And something happens to them along the way.
02:01:06.000 Brad Pitt, not so much.
02:01:07.000 But the real actors that I really kind of thought were, something goes on.
02:01:11.000 Brad Pitt had a real struggle in that he married a crazy lady.
02:01:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:01:16.000 That was his struggle.
02:01:18.000 I don't know.
02:01:18.000 He married a chick who was ridiculously hot but crazy as fuck.
02:01:21.000 Yeah, I think they might get...
02:01:22.000 I don't know.
02:01:23.000 Acting doesn't...
02:01:24.000 When you've done a movie, when you're on set, you're shooting a page a day.
02:01:30.000 And that mundane, repetitive process.
02:01:33.000 You're in costume.
02:01:35.000 You're saying the same fucking lines and doing the same scenes over and over again.
02:01:40.000 I'm sorry, man.
02:01:41.000 You're there 16-hour days.
02:01:43.000 And I don't think that's as satisfying, no matter who you are.
02:01:47.000 It becomes a very peculiar skill.
02:01:50.000 It's not like doing a play.
02:01:52.000 Yeah, but it's different.
02:01:53.000 Stand-up, though, you're writing and you have to perform, and it's always changing.
02:01:57.000 I agree.
02:01:58.000 But I also think that you and I, we're supposed to do stand-up.
02:02:02.000 Like, a guy who makes clocks, that's his passion.
02:02:05.000 A guy who fixes cars.
02:02:07.000 Like, there's certain people, like my friend Steve Stroop, who built my Corvette, and You know, he builds a bunch of muscle cars and shit.
02:02:14.000 That fucking guy loves cars.
02:02:16.000 He loves the construction of them and the design of them and he loves putting them together.
02:02:21.000 No, Daniel Day-Lewis and Christian Bale are supposed to be actors.
02:02:23.000 Yeah, there's people that are supposed to do that.
02:02:26.000 They're really good at it.
02:02:26.000 But then there's other folks that get into it and they become disillusioned along the way because the process is so weird.
02:02:31.000 And also it's so fake.
02:02:33.000 That's what always drove me crazy.
02:02:35.000 Like being around all these people that are like not really there talking to you.
02:02:39.000 They're not really being vulnerable.
02:02:40.000 They're not really being present.
02:02:42.000 They're putting out a little act.
02:02:43.000 But also the trap is having a persona.
02:02:46.000 I think like Johnny Depp got caught up in that persona.
02:02:50.000 Became a pirate.
02:02:51.000 Yeah, man.
02:02:51.000 Start wearing scarves in real life.
02:02:52.000 You can't be that vain.
02:02:53.000 You have to have friends like me and you.
02:02:55.000 If I showed up, if I showed up with a lace hanky hanging out of my pocket and it came all the way down to my knee, you'd tackle me.
02:03:02.000 It's like Jimmy Burke when I showed up after Mad TV. I showed up in New York and I decided to start wearing Kangol hats backwards.
02:03:08.000 They looked good on me and I was hot.
02:03:11.000 I decided I'm going to be a good looking actor because I saw some actor do it.
02:03:15.000 And I go there and Jimmy Burke goes, dude, I'm so fucking proud of you.
02:03:18.000 I'm at the bar with all the guys.
02:03:19.000 I'm so proud of you, bro.
02:03:21.000 I'm just going to go out and smoke a dube, celebrate, raise a glass, take the hat off right now.
02:03:25.000 I'm going to slap the shit out of you.
02:03:27.000 What about fedoras?
02:03:28.000 I go, what's wrong with my hat?
02:03:29.000 He goes, it's too busy.
02:03:31.000 It's busy.
02:03:32.000 How about a fedora?
02:03:35.000 That's the best.
02:03:36.000 Now, what's the ultimate?
02:03:37.000 A straw hat.
02:03:39.000 I'm a member of the press.
02:03:40.000 Well, a beret.
02:03:41.000 No, a beret is the best.
02:03:43.000 If you wear a fucking beret, I'm going to throw you in a flying headlock, even if you're Brock Lesnar.
02:03:48.000 What about if you have a beret and a cigarette holder, like Hunter S. Thompson?
02:03:51.000 Well, now I kind of like you.
02:03:53.000 If you're a dandy, and you have an ear trumpet and a cigarette holder, now I like you.
02:03:58.000 I have a hard time with dudes who wear vests.
02:04:01.000 Me too.
02:04:01.000 I do want to dress like a salsa dancer.
02:04:06.000 I want to be a Cuban gentleman at the end of the day.
02:04:09.000 I do kind of want to wear linen suits.
02:04:12.000 I want to be an older gentleman.
02:04:14.000 And I want to smoke fine cigars.
02:04:16.000 Or a pipe.
02:04:17.000 There is part of me.
02:04:19.000 And I want to pontificate.
02:04:20.000 And I want to hang out with Stephen West.
02:04:21.000 And I want to talk about philosophy.
02:04:23.000 I like that stuff.
02:04:24.000 How often do you smoke cigars?
02:04:25.000 Never.
02:04:26.000 Ever.
02:04:26.000 Ever.
02:04:26.000 So what's stopping you?
02:04:28.000 I don't know.
02:04:28.000 It's a store down the street.
02:04:29.000 I just saw that cigar.
02:04:30.000 You should get some cigars.
02:04:31.000 This is a joint, bro.
02:04:32.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:04:33.000 A blunt?
02:04:35.000 Yeah, I like that.
02:04:39.000 Yeah, it's tobacco on the outside.
02:04:40.000 Oh.
02:04:41.000 Really?
02:04:42.000 This is the shit that crashed Tesla stock.
02:04:44.000 Brought it down.
02:04:45.000 That'll hurt my lungs, man.
02:04:47.000 Is it mostly weed?
02:04:49.000 Oh, yeah.
02:04:50.000 The inside's weed.
02:04:51.000 You get a little head rush from the tobacco.
02:04:56.000 And then you get a little...
02:04:57.000 Little...
02:05:01.000 Little life.
02:05:04.000 I'm such a lightweight.
02:05:05.000 Life inside the brain because of the...
02:05:08.000 This is the marijuana.
02:05:09.000 Here we go.
02:05:11.000 If we only had some wine, it would be perfect.
02:05:13.000 Should we break out some fine whiskey?
02:05:15.000 We have some fine whiskey over there.
02:05:17.000 We don't have any glasses.
02:05:19.000 Yeah, we'll be alright.
02:05:20.000 Or we could just drink it out of the glass like gentlemen.
02:05:22.000 Do we have any more of this?
02:05:25.000 Yeah, we have cups.
02:05:26.000 Do you have to get out of here?
02:05:26.000 No.
02:05:27.000 I never have to.
02:05:32.000 Keep talking, man.
02:05:32.000 People are listening.
02:05:33.000 Oh, sorry.
02:05:34.000 I'm here.
02:05:38.000 Did you have a special drop-on?
02:05:41.000 Oh, I'm glad you mentioned that.
02:05:44.000 Complicated Apes, guys.
02:05:45.000 Get my number one selling one hour, and I'll be in Kansas City at the Kansas City Improv this Friday, Saturday, and then I'll be in...
02:05:55.000 Well, Philly's already sold out, but then I'll be in Calgary on the 4th, 5th, and 6th of April.
02:06:00.000 This stuff is single malt scotch, and this stuff is made by a boy band?
02:06:06.000 I like good whiskey.
02:06:07.000 I don't like this bullshit.
02:06:09.000 Where does this come from?
02:06:10.000 I'm not drinking boy bang whiskey.
02:06:12.000 I believe it's the Florida Georgia Lions whiskey.
02:06:14.000 Oh, okay.
02:06:14.000 They're not a boy band.
02:06:15.000 They're a bam-bam.
02:06:16.000 I thought it was like NSYNC or some shit.
02:06:18.000 At what point in time, does a boy band ever get to a point where they're like, okay, we can't call ourselves a boy band anymore.
02:06:23.000 We're 40. Backstreet Boys are still rolling.
02:06:25.000 It's a man band.
02:06:27.000 They're still Backstreet Boys.
02:06:28.000 Call it a man band.
02:06:30.000 Is your glass empty there?
02:06:31.000 No.
02:06:32.000 Finish your coffee, fuckface.
02:06:35.000 Hold on.
02:06:36.000 I'll show you what I'm going to do.
02:06:37.000 Oh, you're going to pour it in there?
02:06:38.000 Pour your coffee in there.
02:06:40.000 Good move, good move.
02:06:41.000 Oh, you're going to put the whiskey in there.
02:06:42.000 I'll have them gallons, obviously, because I'm a Scotch.
02:06:44.000 I mean, I believe it's Scotch.
02:06:46.000 Jesus!
02:06:47.000 Jesus, man.
02:06:47.000 Watch what you're doing.
02:06:48.000 Take it easy.
02:06:50.000 Don't you, don't you.
02:06:50.000 Who invented whiskey?
02:06:52.000 Was it the Irish?
02:06:52.000 The Scotch.
02:06:53.000 The Scotch.
02:06:55.000 Up in the Highlands.
02:06:56.000 So the Irish stole it from the Scots?
02:06:58.000 I don't know.
02:06:59.000 I don't know.
02:07:00.000 Is that your...
02:07:01.000 That's my brogue.
02:07:02.000 My brogue from Scotland.
02:07:05.000 Who's on his way to Valhalla.
02:07:07.000 Who?
02:07:08.000 Billy Connolly.
02:07:09.000 Famous...
02:07:10.000 Is he dying?
02:07:10.000 Yeah.
02:07:11.000 I didn't know that.
02:07:12.000 Yeah.
02:07:12.000 How old is he?
02:07:14.000 He's...
02:07:14.000 I want to say he's in the 70s.
02:07:17.000 What happened?
02:07:17.000 Did he just...
02:07:18.000 He's got some terminal illness.
02:07:20.000 See if you can find it.
02:07:21.000 76. 76. Great comedian.
02:07:23.000 Great comedian.
02:07:24.000 Supposedly, I've never met him, but supposedly a great guy, too.
02:07:28.000 We're all going, brother.
02:07:30.000 Yes.
02:07:30.000 That's the other thing I think about.
02:07:31.000 I want to make...
02:07:32.000 I don't want to be too attached to immortality.
02:07:34.000 I want to make...
02:07:35.000 That's why you don't have a watch?
02:07:36.000 I've been doing the...
02:07:36.000 There he is.
02:07:37.000 You know what I've been doing is I do Sam Harris's...
02:07:39.000 Not Dying, Not Dead.
02:07:41.000 Sir Billy Connolly sends reassuring musical message to fans.
02:07:45.000 Okay.
02:07:47.000 Oh, okay.
02:07:48.000 So he's still...
02:07:48.000 He's still going...
02:07:50.000 He's got some sort of a...
02:07:51.000 Cancer and Parkinson's assist.
02:07:53.000 Double dose.
02:07:54.000 This fucking machine breaks down.
02:07:56.000 I've been doing...
02:07:57.000 I've been reading...
02:07:58.000 I mean, I'm doing Sam Harris' Waking Up app.
02:08:01.000 Really?
02:08:01.000 Guided meditation.
02:08:02.000 I've been doing it now...
02:08:03.000 You like it?
02:08:03.000 For three months...
02:08:04.000 I actually love it because I read his book, Spirituality Without Religion, and I really liked it.
02:08:10.000 I've always dabbled, I've always thought about meditation, but I, without fail, have done it now for over three months.
02:08:15.000 And it's only ten minutes a day.
02:08:17.000 Sometimes I do a little longer, you know?
02:08:19.000 But it's kind of profound.
02:08:21.000 I never would have seen the value of it, but it took me a while to see.
02:08:25.000 He helps...
02:08:28.000 He's a very good guide because he's been doing it for 30 years.
02:08:31.000 And he's a very smart guy, obviously.
02:08:34.000 He's done a lot of those quiet retreats.
02:08:36.000 Yeah, so did Yuval Harari, who wrote Sapiens.
02:08:38.000 He goes on three-month retreats.
02:08:40.000 When I started seeing guys who were that smart and do that, I kind of went...
02:08:45.000 This is very interesting, especially from Sam, who always takes flack for being an atheist, but he's pretty religious for an atheist.
02:08:51.000 I mean, in terms of how he speaks about meditation, consciousness, mind versus brain.
02:08:57.000 You didn't use the term spiritual.
02:08:59.000 I appreciate that.
02:09:01.000 People say that.
02:09:02.000 I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual.
02:09:04.000 Yeah, I guess he's very concerned with the health of his mind, and he recognizes the power of meditation.
02:09:14.000 You know, I do a bunch of different things that help me keep my mind clear.
02:09:20.000 Like, one of them is running.
02:09:21.000 There's something about running that I never really understood until I started doing it.
02:09:25.000 It's a form of meditation.
02:09:26.000 Well, yeah, you're in this sort of weird state of mind where you're just trudging and breathing, and that's all you really can concentrate on.
02:09:36.000 You don't have much room for other things.
02:09:38.000 Like, when you're really struggling, When I'm running up a steep hill and I'm running with a dog, he's so much faster than me.
02:09:46.000 He just fucking takes off.
02:09:47.000 I have the best dog, man.
02:09:49.000 He turns around and checks to make sure I'm okay.
02:09:51.000 He's like, you alright?
02:09:52.000 I'm like, I'm good, dude.
02:09:53.000 I'm good.
02:09:53.000 I'm right behind you.
02:09:54.000 And then he takes off and runs again.
02:09:55.000 He just loves freedom.
02:09:57.000 And he's such a good dog.
02:09:59.000 I never worry about him meeting people.
02:10:01.000 He would just be kissing them.
02:10:03.000 The only thing I worry about is cats, like mountain lions and shit.
02:10:06.000 I do worry about that because we do run in these really remote areas.
02:10:10.000 And when I do that, when I'm trudging up those hills, all I'm doing is breathing.
02:10:20.000 Shit, I'm pushing my thighs and I'm fucking trying to get to the top of this hill and it's a rough, steep, fucking long hill.
02:10:27.000 You don't think about jack shit other than that.
02:10:30.000 And then when you do come down and your heart rate drops and you're ready to go again, I'll do a long 200-yard hill.
02:10:40.000 I'll sprint it as much as I can.
02:10:42.000 And then I get to the top and I have to catch my breath.
02:10:44.000 I don't want to kill myself.
02:10:46.000 But then when you catch your breath, it's like during the time where your heart rate is dropping, you start looking at the actual real magnitude of your problems.
02:10:56.000 Like, what are they really?
02:10:59.000 One of our biggest problems is the way we interact with each other, right?
02:11:04.000 If you think about all the problems that people have in the world, obviously there's the big global ones, global conflict and war and financial conflict.
02:11:12.000 Weird shit that countries do to each other back and forth.
02:11:15.000 But it's human beings in conflict with other human beings.
02:11:19.000 And how much of that could be avoided?
02:11:21.000 Right.
02:11:22.000 Like, isn't it mostly avoidable?
02:11:24.000 Like with people, with one-to-one, two reasonable people, you and I. You and I is a perfect example.
02:11:30.000 We've run into some people.
02:11:32.000 We run into a person and...
02:11:34.000 But it's not how wars are, I think.
02:11:36.000 So sometimes...
02:11:36.000 Right, right, right.
02:11:36.000 Of course.
02:11:37.000 It's with groups.
02:11:38.000 Well, no.
02:11:38.000 It's also like sometimes it's about resources.
02:11:43.000 I mean, if you only have access to one waterway and your kids may not be able to drink water, you can get genocidal right quick.
02:11:52.000 Of course.
02:11:52.000 Of course.
02:11:53.000 There are certain things where you kind of go, well, we have to fight for our survival.
02:11:57.000 But again...
02:11:58.000 People go to war the way you organize men young men is not whether we hate them That doesn't last as much what you do is you you go.
02:12:07.000 Hey, it's about love It's about defending our country our way of life and you you create symbols and propaganda and things for them to march behind That's always how you motivate large groups how you create an ideology in your You know your fighting force you need that Because they tend to fight for something.
02:12:28.000 You know, I think at West Point it says a nation defines itself on what it's willing to fight for.
02:12:32.000 Nobody wants one world government, right?
02:12:35.000 That's one of the things that everybody's scared of.
02:12:37.000 Like, one world.
02:12:39.000 Like, one group that runs all the countries on the whole planet.
02:12:44.000 Like, that's too crazy.
02:12:46.000 Right?
02:12:47.000 That terrifies all of us.
02:12:49.000 One group having all that fucking power.
02:12:52.000 Yeah, anytime one group, that's my problem with a big federal government.
02:12:56.000 Right, but it seems like they're all ridiculous at this point, but if there was laws that we all agreed on, like you can't just, say if you go to Singapore with weed, you go to jail for the rest of your life.
02:13:11.000 Right.
02:13:12.000 You get hung.
02:13:14.000 If you're a dealer there, they will fuck you up.
02:13:18.000 You can't be traveling over there with cocaine or anything crazy like that.
02:13:22.000 They hang you.
02:13:23.000 Yeah, you're in deep shit.
02:13:25.000 No jury, just a judge.
02:13:27.000 Lee Kwan, you talked about that.
02:13:28.000 He goes, yeah, we hang about seven people a year.
02:13:31.000 It's sad, it's terrible, you know, just judges.
02:13:33.000 But how many people die from drugs, from your drug issue in the United States?
02:13:37.000 How many people, how many kids are orphaned?
02:13:39.000 I was like, oh shit.
02:13:40.000 Hey, man, they have a perspective.
02:13:41.000 It's a hard-ass perspective.
02:13:45.000 But we've got to realize that that perspective exists still on this earth.
02:13:49.000 It's really interesting when you think of all the different cultures.
02:13:53.000 I was thinking of stoic cultures and cold northern cultures.
02:13:59.000 They have to get ready for the winter.
02:14:00.000 Yeah, man.
02:14:02.000 Or you starve.
02:14:03.000 Germans and the Swedes and the Nordic folk.
02:14:06.000 Yeah, time becomes a real factor.
02:14:09.000 Time.
02:14:09.000 With your harvest, when, all that stuff.
02:14:12.000 Also, no bullshit.
02:14:14.000 Some fucking insane genes in these people, right?
02:14:18.000 Like that Game of Thrones guy.
02:14:20.000 You know Brock Lesnar's folk are from that fucking part of the world.
02:14:25.000 Iceland?
02:14:25.000 Yeah.
02:14:25.000 Land of the Giants?
02:14:26.000 Yeah.
02:14:27.000 The craziest, hardiest stock survived.
02:14:31.000 The real Vikings.
02:14:33.000 Yeah.
02:14:34.000 And the real survivors, like, they have to deal with some shit in the winter.
02:14:39.000 Before there was any kind of cars, those people were living up there riding animals when it was God knows how fucking cold.
02:14:48.000 You wore those animals.
02:14:49.000 Covered in skins and shit.
02:14:51.000 They would open the door and...
02:14:53.000 Wind would be blowing.
02:14:54.000 Giant beards.
02:14:55.000 One fire in the center of this fucking house and everyone's gathered around the fire.
02:15:00.000 It was all about staying warm, man.
02:15:01.000 Yeah, man.
02:15:02.000 And having enough to eat.
02:15:03.000 And then you had to worry about some other dudes just like you coming into your town and fucking you up while you slept.
02:15:08.000 And taking you as a slave.
02:15:10.000 Oh my God, chopping you up in front of your family.
02:15:13.000 Yeah.
02:15:13.000 People just chop people up.
02:15:14.000 That's right.
02:15:15.000 And that's mostly what happened forever.
02:15:17.000 That's right.
02:15:18.000 Mostly what happened.
02:15:19.000 Yeah.
02:15:19.000 And by the way, we're going to impregnate your wife and kill your kids or enslave them.
02:15:23.000 Oh, yeah.
02:15:23.000 Everybody got killed.
02:15:24.000 Everybody got raped.
02:15:25.000 And that was normal.
02:15:27.000 That was life.
02:15:28.000 And people made it through that to some form of security where they started thinking about rules and laws and how to enforce them and keep things civil.
02:15:38.000 Well, yeah, I think the fascinating thing is slavery.
02:15:42.000 Slavery was the order of the day, and the leading philosophers and moral thinkers of our time, from Jesus to the Buddha to Muhammad to Socrates and Aristotle to all of them, never, ever really spoke much about slavery,
02:15:59.000 about owning other human beings, about selling someone's children.
02:16:03.000 It just was never really brought up.
02:16:05.000 Sure.
02:16:05.000 I mean, it just wasn't.
02:16:07.000 You just see it.
02:16:08.000 It was just what was done.
02:16:09.000 And then, you know who really started the abolitionist movement?
02:16:12.000 Where they, I mean, the beginnings of the abolition of slavery worldwide?
02:16:18.000 You know who did it?
02:16:19.000 No.
02:16:19.000 The British.
02:16:20.000 In the 1800s.
02:16:21.000 Really?
02:16:22.000 And you know who did it in specifically evangelical Christians?
02:16:25.000 Wow.
02:16:26.000 The abolition movement was started by what you'd call fanatic Christians, but they risked everything and convinced the Crown to enforce a ban on slavery in the high seas.
02:16:39.000 So if you were a British naval ship, Even if there was a Turkish ship over there and they had slaves, the British spent years and great cost at basically hanging slave traders,
02:16:54.000 freeing slaves, all that stuff on the high seas.
02:16:57.000 So even though obviously there was a lot of racism that went on, the Brits and their navy were the ones that began the abolition of worldwide slavery.
02:17:08.000 It didn't allow it on the high seas.
02:17:09.000 Now, how amazing is it that that didn't take place until what?
02:17:13.000 18 what?
02:17:15.000 1865, sir!
02:17:16.000 Now listen.
02:17:17.000 Well, that's when it was abolished in America.
02:17:19.000 Was that abolished all countries?
02:17:21.000 No, Britain abolished slavery, I believe, way earlier than America did.
02:17:25.000 So we were 1865. We were 1865. Another thing to remember is the United States has been a country with slavery longer than it's been a country without.
02:17:33.000 So that gives you an idea of how recent that is.
02:17:36.000 Stop and think about that.
02:17:38.000 That number, 1865, seems so recent now.
02:17:43.000 It used to, when I was a kid, it felt like it was forever ago.
02:17:46.000 Yeah, I know.
02:17:46.000 When I was like five years old and I thought about slavery, I thought about it as being like eons and eons in the past.
02:17:52.000 Do you know a book I just read?
02:17:54.000 What?
02:17:54.000 And it is, besides the Bible, arguably one of the most influential books ever written in the 19th century.
02:18:03.000 What?
02:18:04.000 Uncle Tom's Cabin.
02:18:06.000 Whoa.
02:18:07.000 Yeah.
02:18:07.000 I realized I hadn't read it.
02:18:09.000 And, well, I mean, I think that it's Harriet Beecher Stowe, and I think the legend is that Lincoln said, so you're the little woman that wrote this book that started this great war.
02:18:21.000 Because she put this—she had never actually—she was from the North, but she interviewed fugitive slaves and people who, you know, who used to be.
02:18:30.000 And if you read that book, man, it put such a face on what slavery, the brutality, what it was really about in this country or anywhere where you could take a woman's child, an eight-year-old, and you'd get some money.
02:18:43.000 And it's the story where the slave trader goes, well, I'll buy the kid.
02:18:47.000 I could fetch a good price for him down south.
02:18:50.000 We'll take him when his mom ain't there.
02:18:52.000 Maybe have her go do a chore so when she comes back, you know.
02:18:56.000 Otherwise, it's all kinds of hemming and hawing.
02:18:59.000 And they had slave brokers who would come in and go, look, your plantation is in debt.
02:19:05.000 You've got to start selling some of your slaves.
02:19:07.000 Now, I'm not going to take those guys, but that woman, she's got those two healthy-looking boys.
02:19:14.000 And you would sell them.
02:19:16.000 And she could do nothing about it.
02:19:18.000 That was the reality.
02:19:32.000 With a human face just exactly how horrible it was.
02:19:35.000 And what happened to the women who would have to see their children sold in front of them and they couldn't do anything.
02:19:42.000 Blah, blah, blah.
02:19:43.000 That's not a blah, blah, blah.
02:19:45.000 It was, for many people, what galvanized the North to say, this is crazy.
02:19:51.000 Can't have slavery.
02:19:52.000 How crazy is it that that wasn't 200 years ago?
02:19:55.000 I know.
02:19:56.000 I know.
02:19:57.000 That wasn't even 200 years ago.
02:19:58.000 I know, man.
02:19:59.000 That's...
02:20:00.000 That's like, you know, that joke that I have about the president being, like, we became a nation in 1776. Yeah.
02:20:07.000 People lived to be 100. That's three people ago.
02:20:08.000 I know.
02:20:09.000 That's real.
02:20:10.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:20:10.000 It's real.
02:20:11.000 We are so...
02:20:12.000 We're infants.
02:20:13.000 We are infants and something...
02:20:15.000 We're in the process of this thing where we're figuring out life, what's fair, what's right, how to run shit...
02:20:23.000 And we're doing it based on this idea that someone had already got it dialed in.
02:20:29.000 Whether it's through the Constitution, or whether it's through the democratic system, or the educational system, all these different systems that we have.
02:20:36.000 They're perfect, and they're in place, and they're ready to rock, and they've been rock solid for generation after gen- Wait a minute, how long have they been around?
02:20:43.000 I know.
02:20:43.000 And you go, wait a minute, hold on.
02:20:45.000 That's it?
02:20:45.000 Oh, wow.
02:20:47.000 So what did they do before that?
02:20:49.000 When did they have the ability to print?
02:20:55.000 Okay, that was like, what, 500 years ago?
02:20:57.000 What was the fucking, when was the printing press made?
02:20:59.000 In the 1400s by Gutenberg.
02:21:01.000 But then it didn't really take it.
02:21:03.000 Imagine, bro, they were writing.
02:21:03.000 It didn't really take hold until the 16th century.
02:21:05.000 So imagine having everything you read, someone has to write with their fucking hand.
02:21:11.000 Right.
02:21:11.000 You have no idea if it's correct.
02:21:14.000 Right.
02:21:14.000 You have no idea if they're telling the truth.
02:21:16.000 They're just writing it.
02:21:17.000 Yeah.
02:21:18.000 It's nuts.
02:21:19.000 For years and years and years.
02:21:20.000 That's probably the main reason why they probably had to establish higher schools of learning.
02:21:25.000 Well, the scribes...
02:21:26.000 Who's writing this?
02:21:26.000 Hold on.
02:21:27.000 What are you doing?
02:21:28.000 The stuff that you're writing, how do I know it's true?
02:21:30.000 What's your method?
02:21:31.000 Yeah.
02:21:32.000 Right?
02:21:33.000 Well, they would write down, and there were people that could write.
02:21:35.000 It was usually the priests.
02:21:37.000 And there's a book called How the Irish Saved Civilization.
02:21:39.000 Whoa.
02:21:39.000 And it's about how the scribes, how the Irish priests...
02:21:44.000 I think?
02:22:01.000 He was a watchmaker and invented this thing called the printing press.
02:22:05.000 And nobody really used it, but then people could disseminate ideas.
02:22:10.000 It was like the internet.
02:22:11.000 You have an idea and all of a sudden, instead of having one book for 50 miles, you could print out paper and make multiple copies and send them out.
02:22:22.000 Damn.
02:22:22.000 And then all of a sudden a guy named Martin Luther goes, if I have the Bible, what do I need these corrupt priests for?
02:22:28.000 What do I need to be pledged allegiance to Rome?
02:22:29.000 I was just going to say that.
02:22:30.000 Martin Luther used to make those posters and put them up.
02:22:34.000 Yeah, the proclamations.
02:22:35.000 Yeah.
02:22:36.000 In Bitburg, Germany, I think.
02:22:38.000 But either way, this guy was...
02:22:40.000 Did you ever listen to the Dan Carlin series on that?
02:22:42.000 I didn't.
02:22:43.000 Oh my God, it's amazing.
02:22:44.000 Dan Carlin's great.
02:22:45.000 He explained Lutherism, explained the whole movement and how he got away with it because he had a high public standing so they didn't prosecute him or sue him.
02:22:53.000 They figured out a way to translate the Bible where other people could read it that couldn't speak Latin.
02:22:59.000 That's right.
02:23:00.000 They figured out a phonetic translation for it.
02:23:03.000 So if you have the Word of God, what do I need?
02:23:06.000 The Protestant...
02:23:07.000 The Catholic divide was about, essentially, wait a minute, I don't need to pledge allegiance to this giant institution called the Vatican with all the money and the costumes.
02:23:15.000 What if I just have the Bible and I do what Jesus said, because I can read it right here.
02:23:20.000 All of a sudden, now you're a Protestant.
02:23:22.000 That was what everybody was scared about.
02:23:24.000 I mean, it must have been the most horrific thing about...
02:23:28.000 The religious power back then.
02:23:31.000 Like, Rome had armies, right?
02:23:34.000 Yeah.
02:23:34.000 This was, like, when Genghis Khan was roaming the earth and running through Russia and Asia and Eurasia, Rome was like, they were thinking about going to battle with these people, the Mongols.
02:23:48.000 Like, Rome had armies.
02:23:49.000 The Pope had wives.
02:23:51.000 This was, like, really, in a lot of ways, was...
02:23:56.000 Almost, in an ancient way, like a similar position that the United States has now, in terms of the whole world.
02:24:04.000 I'm so high right now.
02:24:05.000 Yeah, of course you are.
02:24:07.000 I'm sorry, but what was that you gave me?
02:24:09.000 Because I only took one hit.
02:24:11.000 It's marijuana.
02:24:12.000 It's a blunt.
02:24:12.000 Why am I in a tunnel?
02:24:14.000 It's good.
02:24:14.000 It's good for you.
02:24:15.000 There's tobacco on the outside of it and marijuana on the inside.
02:24:18.000 Why is your head so beautifully shiny?
02:24:20.000 There's a beauty to it.
02:24:21.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
02:24:22.000 I use a moistener.
02:24:24.000 You do?
02:24:25.000 Moistener.
02:24:26.000 I got you a little nervous because you have a nice patina.
02:24:30.000 It looks like a bespoke shoe.
02:24:32.000 Like a nice shoe.
02:24:34.000 See how I bring it back?
02:24:35.000 Guys, see how I bring it back?
02:24:36.000 Complicated apes, guys.
02:24:37.000 Seriously.
02:24:37.000 It's out now.
02:24:38.000 It's number one.
02:24:39.000 You can buy it for...
02:24:41.000 You can buy it everywhere.
02:24:42.000 Everywhere.
02:24:43.000 Amazon and shit.
02:24:44.000 Everywhere.
02:24:44.000 Wherever you get your content.
02:24:46.000 Wherever you get your joke jokes.
02:24:48.000 Wherever you get your funny.
02:24:50.000 There is a hundred million comedy specials out right now.
02:24:54.000 What?
02:24:55.000 No.
02:24:55.000 Almost.
02:24:56.000 I don't know what the number is, but I'm going to say it's 100 million.
02:24:58.000 Still a rare fraternity.
02:25:02.000 Yeah, it's a rare fraternity, but it's interesting how many of us there are today, as opposed to the days of yore.
02:25:08.000 My question is, how much material do these people really have?
02:25:12.000 Some of them.
02:25:13.000 Dude, you know who's goddamn hilarious right now is Sebastian.
02:25:17.000 Not that he's not always hilarious, but he's got some new material that he was doing at the Improv last night.
02:25:23.000 Oh, really?
02:25:23.000 Oh, my God.
02:25:24.000 Dude, he's so funny.
02:25:27.000 He's hilarious.
02:25:28.000 He's just got his own groove.
02:25:30.000 We were talking about Theo Vaughn earlier.
02:25:32.000 He and Theo, in my mind, they're very similar.
02:25:37.000 Their style's way different, their material's way different, but they have their own thing.
02:25:42.000 They have 100% their own thing.
02:25:45.000 Sebastian has his own thing.
02:25:47.000 It's like a music.
02:25:49.000 There's a rhythm to it.
02:25:50.000 And you love him, so you count on him reacting to these things in a certain way.
02:25:55.000 It's as unique as like, you know, Christopher Walken who's always, you know.
02:25:59.000 He's in his zone right now, you know.
02:26:02.000 Sebastian is in his zone.
02:26:04.000 Sold out four shows at Madison Square Garden.
02:26:09.000 Four sold-out seats.
02:26:10.000 That is amazing.
02:26:12.000 Four.
02:26:13.000 That's like 18,000 seats a show.
02:26:16.000 That's nuts.
02:26:17.000 Nuts, yeah.
02:26:18.000 It's gotta be some money.
02:26:20.000 He's a beast.
02:26:21.000 Yeah, he is.
02:26:21.000 I'm sure there's money in it, but the point is he's in that sweet spot of his career.
02:26:26.000 Yeah.
02:26:27.000 That's why I love...
02:26:29.000 That's in a way why I still have faith in the American system.
02:26:32.000 He was a waiter for nine years.
02:26:34.000 Yeah.
02:26:34.000 Four seasons.
02:26:35.000 He's just a smart, easy-going dude who's easy to love.
02:26:40.000 Discipline.
02:26:40.000 That Italian, old-school Italian discipline, man.
02:26:42.000 Yeah, he's got a lot of that.
02:26:44.000 Work.
02:26:44.000 Work.
02:26:44.000 He's so fun to watch on stage.
02:26:46.000 I don't want to say what he's talking about.
02:26:47.000 I don't want to ruin any of it because his stuff isn't even...
02:26:51.000 On paper, I would never do it justice.
02:26:53.000 You gotta have him.
02:26:54.000 You have to see him in front of you.
02:26:56.000 He's funny, man.
02:26:58.000 Same thing I say about Theo.
02:27:00.000 Theo is in this rare place right now.
02:27:03.000 He's on stage, and you just start smiling when you see him.
02:27:07.000 His hypnosis game is on point.
02:27:09.000 Oh, Theo's phenomenal.
02:27:10.000 I told him today on the podcast he did Better Than Kid.
02:27:13.000 I was like...
02:27:13.000 You're an original, man.
02:27:15.000 Yeah.
02:27:15.000 Stop beating yourself up.
02:27:17.000 He beats himself up.
02:27:18.000 Every comic does, bro.
02:27:19.000 I know.
02:27:20.000 Every comic does.
02:27:21.000 I just stopped doing it at 52. With this Sam Harris app?
02:27:25.000 Nah, I just decided I got tired of...
02:27:27.000 I realized I've been doing my best and I got myself here.
02:27:30.000 Yeah.
02:27:31.000 I mean, you know.
02:27:32.000 Well, there's like a two thing going on, right?
02:27:36.000 There's two things simultaneously going on.
02:27:38.000 There's one that, you know, you want to do your best.
02:27:43.000 And so you look at everything you do and you go, I think I could have done that better.
02:27:47.000 God damn it, why did I do it like this?
02:27:48.000 Like, fuck, what is that about?
02:27:50.000 Like, what's this about?
02:27:51.000 Why did I do it like that?
02:27:53.000 Why don't I rework that?
02:27:54.000 Redo this?
02:27:56.000 But then there's the other part that has to be like, look, why are you doing this?
02:28:00.000 Are you doing this because you enjoy it?
02:28:02.000 Do you enjoy it?
02:28:03.000 Okay.
02:28:04.000 You're gonna feel gross about anything that doesn't work out well.
02:28:08.000 Everything that you do that doesn't work out well.
02:28:10.000 Just don't be a bitch about it.
02:28:12.000 Just get over it.
02:28:13.000 There's a certain self-indulgence involved in dwelling on your mistakes that it becomes almost like a self-pity thing.
02:28:21.000 There's a strength and a discipline in learning how to go, okay, I fucked up.
02:28:26.000 Did you ever read Martha Graham's letter?
02:28:29.000 The great...
02:28:31.000 Mother of Modern Dance.
02:28:33.000 She wrote a letter to Agnes DeMille.
02:28:34.000 What do you think when you ask me that question?
02:28:36.000 Well, it's just so timely.
02:28:38.000 The Mother of Modern Dance.
02:28:41.000 It's timely, though.
02:28:42.000 I believe it.
02:28:43.000 I'm sure.
02:28:44.000 But it's still funny.
02:28:46.000 I know.
02:28:47.000 Because I'm asking you about a fucking modern dance.
02:28:50.000 How do you know about this?
02:28:51.000 What is this woman's name again?
02:28:55.000 I'll show you.
02:28:56.000 Her name is Martha Graham.
02:28:57.000 She's the great...
02:28:58.000 It's like a really short letter, but she wrote this.
02:29:01.000 She was a great choreographer.
02:29:04.000 She created modern dance.
02:29:05.000 She was basically like, there's not just ballet.
02:29:10.000 How about just moving naturally and doing crazy shit?
02:29:12.000 Bring up Martha Graham.
02:29:13.000 She's...
02:29:14.000 At 80 she was dancing, but she's a giant.
02:29:17.000 She's an innovator.
02:29:19.000 She's a giant.
02:29:20.000 When you think of dance, she might be one of the most famous names ever in dance.
02:29:25.000 Okay, whatever.
02:29:27.000 But she wrote this letter, and I think you'll appreciate this.
02:29:30.000 It's really short.
02:29:31.000 There's a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time...
02:29:38.000 This expression is unique.
02:29:40.000 If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.
02:29:44.000 The world will not have it, and it is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions.
02:29:53.000 It's your business to keep it yours clearly and directly and keep the channel open.
02:29:58.000 You don't even have to believe in yourself or your work.
02:30:00.000 You have to keep open and aware directly of the urges that motivate you.
02:30:04.000 Keep the channel open.
02:30:06.000 No artist is pleased.
02:30:07.000 There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
02:30:11.000 There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction.
02:30:14.000 A blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.
02:30:19.000 Damn, that's beast shit.
02:30:21.000 How about that?
02:30:22.000 That's on the money.
02:30:24.000 Who is that woman?
02:30:25.000 That's her.
02:30:25.000 That's her?
02:30:26.000 She was doing this.
02:30:27.000 Nobody understood what this was.
02:30:27.000 Dude, will you send me that?
02:30:28.000 Yes.
02:30:29.000 Because I'm so high, I'm not going to remember it.
02:30:32.000 I'm not really into what she's doing here, but I appreciate her words.
02:30:38.000 I feel like you shouldn't have shown me this video.
02:30:40.000 No, this wasn't a time when they were only doing it.
02:30:42.000 She was doing the craziest shit.
02:30:43.000 This is how I dance if I really hurt my back.
02:30:46.000 And I was like...
02:30:47.000 This is in like 1943, if I'm not mistaken.
02:30:52.000 Well, you know what, man?
02:30:54.000 Yeah, 1943. People were probably struggling then for freedom from the orthodoxy.
02:31:00.000 Struggling to express themselves in different ways.
02:31:03.000 You know, that's one of the more interesting things about stand-up is that it's indicative or it's...
02:31:09.000 It's representative of the time in which it's performed in.
02:31:13.000 Like, there are little windows in time to how people behaved and thought, and there was some shit that people did just 10, 15, 20 years ago that you just can't do now.
02:31:24.000 It's like, it's not possible.
02:31:27.000 It's not in the public's menu list anymore.
02:31:31.000 Right.
02:31:31.000 You know?
02:31:32.000 But back then, it was normal.
02:31:35.000 It's like, you can...
02:31:37.000 And some stuff just isn't funny anymore.
02:31:39.000 It's weird.
02:31:40.000 Like some of the Lenny Bruce stuff, man, he was, for the time, he was groundbreaking, right?
02:31:46.000 Nobody had seen anything like this before.
02:31:48.000 A guy who was talking straight and true about real social issues and making them funny on stage.
02:31:54.000 Right.
02:31:57.000 Handsome looking Jewish fellow with beautiful hair.
02:32:00.000 And he just had a look.
02:32:02.000 He was disturbing.
02:32:03.000 His comedy shook people up.
02:32:05.000 Yeah, but there was no way that you and I can put ourselves back into the minds of people that lived in the 1950s when Lenny Bruce was doing this.
02:32:18.000 There's no way we could put ourselves there.
02:32:20.000 We're tainted forever by technology and innovation.
02:32:27.000 Interaction, I think, is the big one, right?
02:32:29.000 As soon as people start being able to exchange information with each other, whether it's through television and then through radio and television and television shows and then internet, the more they express themselves, the more they sort of figure out patterns of behavior that are acceptable.
02:32:46.000 Yeah, but I wonder at times whether or not, I think stand-up is having a renaissance, but like music and things, I don't think we're living in a time of genius, are we?
02:32:55.000 Or do I not know enough about music?
02:32:57.000 There's some great shit that's being made.
02:32:59.000 There's just so much that's being made.
02:33:01.000 Black Keys are always putting out great shit.
02:33:04.000 Gary Clark Jr. has an amazing new album.
02:33:06.000 It's amazing.
02:33:07.000 I love him.
02:33:08.000 It's so good.
02:33:09.000 He's got such a signature guitar sound, man.
02:33:12.000 His fucking guitar sound is like...
02:33:14.000 I love that style of...
02:33:17.000 You know, he's got...
02:33:18.000 He did a...
02:33:20.000 Him and Honey Honey did a show together one night in downtown LA. Damn.
02:33:26.000 And I recorded some of it and put it up on my Instagram.
02:33:28.000 And they were doing...
02:33:30.000 Oh, I saw that!
02:33:30.000 The Allman Brothers Midnight Rider.
02:33:32.000 Yeah.
02:33:32.000 See if you can find that.
02:33:35.000 It was...
02:33:35.000 Phenomenal.
02:33:36.000 It's crazy, man.
02:33:37.000 She was reading the lyrics off her phone, I think.
02:33:39.000 Yeah, she didn't even know the lyrics to the song.
02:33:40.000 She had to go and get it, and she was singing in real time while she's ringing.
02:33:45.000 Yeah, I saw that.
02:33:46.000 While she's reading, rather.
02:33:47.000 And so he's doing Midnight Rider, but he's doing it Gary Clark Jr. style.
02:33:54.000 Damn.
02:33:55.000 It's fucking amazing.
02:33:56.000 One of the coolest things I've ever...
02:33:57.000 Here it is.
02:34:02.000 You see, that's like, that's his style, you know what I'm saying?
02:34:09.000 He, Gary Clark, this song!
02:34:12.000 Ooh, look at that!
02:34:15.000 Damn!
02:34:20.000 I mean, get the fuck out of here!
02:34:23.000 Damn it, this talented!
02:34:25.000 Woo!
02:34:26.000 He's a killer, man.
02:34:28.000 You ever see Stevie Ray Vaughan do Voodoo Child?
02:34:30.000 There's a video of it?
02:34:31.000 I never saw him live, but I almost got to drive him live.
02:34:34.000 I drove Jeff Beck when I was a limo driver.
02:34:38.000 I almost got to drive Stevie Ray Vaughan.
02:34:41.000 I was thinking I was going to get to drive Stevie Ray Vaughan.
02:34:42.000 Wow.
02:34:43.000 But he won't take limos.
02:34:44.000 He would only take cabs.
02:34:46.000 He wanted to talk to the cab drivers.
02:34:47.000 Really?
02:34:48.000 Yep.
02:34:48.000 Man, the way he...
02:34:50.000 There's that video of that Voodoo Child.
02:34:52.000 All his people.
02:34:52.000 What he does with a guitar is just...
02:34:54.000 He was performing with Jeff Beck and all of his people were in the limos, man.
02:34:58.000 And he went in a fucking cab.
02:35:01.000 Damn!
02:35:02.000 Damn!
02:35:03.000 He was legit as fuck!
02:35:05.000 Special, man.
02:35:06.000 But what was crazy to me was that Gary Clark Jr., he Gary Clark Jr. that song while still having it be clearly that song.
02:35:16.000 So cool.
02:35:17.000 But it was like, damn!
02:35:18.000 That was so cool, man.
02:35:20.000 Dude, to be there live, and it was like 12 o'clock at night on a Tuesday in downtown LA. It was only maybe 100 people in the room.
02:35:28.000 And Suzanne, Suzanne Santo from Honey Honey, she's so talented, man.
02:35:32.000 She looks it.
02:35:33.000 The fact that she could read that, her voice is insane.
02:35:36.000 She's reading that off of her phone and singing it.
02:35:39.000 So crazy.
02:35:40.000 Yeah.
02:35:41.000 But Stevie Ray Vaughan, we can't put any of his music up.
02:35:43.000 They'll yank us off the fucking iTunes.
02:35:45.000 If I told you that you could trade a deep knowledge and practice of music over your knowledge of martial arts, would you take it right now?
02:35:56.000 Fuck no!
02:35:57.000 No?
02:35:57.000 No!
02:35:58.000 Really?
02:35:58.000 Why would I do that?
02:35:59.000 That's ridiculous.
02:36:01.000 You would rather be a great fighter than an amazing guitarist?
02:36:04.000 Yes!
02:36:05.000 I don't know how I feel about that.
02:36:06.000 I love the art.
02:36:08.000 I don't have to make it.
02:36:09.000 I can't play at all, and I'll listen to Gary all day.
02:36:14.000 I made this podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, because of my obsession with Jimi Hendrix.
02:36:20.000 That's why I did it.
02:36:22.000 I stole it from Jimi Hendrix.
02:36:24.000 I love music, but I don't have any talent.
02:36:27.000 I got none.
02:36:28.000 No desire, nothing.
02:36:30.000 You don't have to fucking make movies, man.
02:36:32.000 You don't have to be a painter.
02:36:34.000 Taylor Boss made this Mitzi.
02:36:36.000 Look at that.
02:36:37.000 Watch over us in the studio.
02:36:38.000 I don't have to paint.
02:36:40.000 You can paint.
02:36:41.000 I agree.
02:36:42.000 Find a thing you really like to do.
02:36:44.000 You can outsource it.
02:36:44.000 I'm not giving up martial arts for nothing.
02:36:47.000 No?
02:36:47.000 No way.
02:36:48.000 No, it helps me so much.
02:36:51.000 It's so important for me just to have the ability to get out 100% of aggression Be able to hit a bag and just get into a flow, smoke a joint, and then hit a bag.
02:37:04.000 You ever do that?
02:37:05.000 I could never.
02:37:06.000 I'm so high right now, the last thing I'd want to do is punch somebody.
02:37:09.000 You might be interested in day two of the 50th anniversary of the Woodstock.
02:37:13.000 Did you hear that they're doing it, first of all?
02:37:15.000 No, what are they doing?
02:37:16.000 Well, the lineup just got announced, and day two has got Gary Clark, Sturgill, and the Black Keys.
02:37:21.000 Holy shit!
02:37:23.000 And David Crosby.
02:37:25.000 And Chance the Rapper.
02:37:26.000 Yeah, and Grateful Dead.
02:37:28.000 Oh my god.
02:37:28.000 John Mayer, who knows.
02:37:29.000 Jesus.
02:37:31.000 Wow.
02:37:32.000 That's a fucking lineup right there, son.
02:37:35.000 Sturgill Simpson and the Black Keys.
02:37:37.000 That's two of my top ten.
02:37:40.000 There's so much music.
02:37:41.000 What's amazing about music, man, is that they're still making it.
02:37:46.000 It's like everyone's still making music.
02:37:48.000 So it's not like the database just gets bigger.
02:37:51.000 It's not like stuff goes away.
02:37:52.000 You bring back old Donna Summer shit, you know?
02:37:56.000 Like, dude, I have...
02:37:58.000 What is that?
02:38:00.000 Sitting here eating my heart out, baby.
02:38:04.000 Waiting for some weather to come.
02:38:07.000 What song is that?
02:38:07.000 I think it's Nowhere to Run.
02:38:10.000 No, I don't think you're right.
02:38:12.000 I got some playlists here.
02:38:14.000 I think it is.
02:38:15.000 Okay, Allman Brothers or James Brown.
02:38:18.000 You go back in time when you listen to that.
02:38:21.000 You listen to a James Brown song, it's not just that you're listening to James Brown.
02:38:25.000 You're listening to a time capsule from 1963 or whatever it was.
02:38:30.000 He's so astonishing.
02:38:33.000 James Brown?
02:38:34.000 He was amazing.
02:38:35.000 When I hear Zeppelin and I hear James Brown, I never lose my shock at how good they were, how unique they were.
02:38:43.000 Yeah, no, Zeppelin was incredible.
02:38:44.000 The only thing that taints Zeppelin is the allegations of plagiarism, which seem to be totally true.
02:38:51.000 I know, I've heard the songs.
02:38:52.000 You can do the side-by-side where you're like, damn, you stole those riffs.
02:38:56.000 Yeah, that's rough.
02:38:57.000 It's unfortunate, because the end result is fucking incredible.
02:39:02.000 You're still so great.
02:39:03.000 The Immigrant song, one of the best workout songs of all time.
02:39:08.000 I know.
02:39:12.000 So crazy.
02:39:13.000 We come from the land of the ice and snow, the midnight sun and the hot springs blow.
02:39:18.000 Hammer of the gods.
02:39:20.000 How much credit should they have?
02:39:23.000 I'm not trying to disparage it at all, but they should get a lot of credit for how good they made those songs.
02:39:26.000 Oh, they were still the greatest.
02:39:28.000 They were the definitive heavy metal bands.
02:39:31.000 They're so good.
02:39:32.000 There's no doubt that they're so good.
02:39:34.000 See, the thing is, every song, I don't know how every band does it.
02:39:41.000 Every song is probably constructed differently, but in a lot of cases, there's a lot of people contributing to the song.
02:39:47.000 The drummer has an idea, and the singer has an idea, and the guitar player has these riffs he's trying out, and they're trying to figure out the best way to do the song.
02:39:55.000 It's a collaborative effort.
02:39:57.000 It's no doubt that the collaboration was fucking phenomenal.
02:40:00.000 The question is, was it consensual?
02:40:02.000 Like, how many of these people were collaborating and didn't know it?
02:40:05.000 So that's what happens if you're plagiarizing.
02:40:07.000 It seems like it's okay.
02:40:10.000 And, you know, maybe they just thought that band's gonna go away and no one's gonna care about them anymore because we're a lead motherfucking Zeppelin.
02:40:16.000 That's possible, too.
02:40:18.000 Because before the internet, that kind of would have been the case.
02:40:21.000 You know, no one...
02:40:22.000 I do think you still are taking something that doesn't belong to you.
02:40:25.000 You definitely are.
02:40:26.000 And so, in my opinion, you have to buy that from the person...
02:40:29.000 Yes.
02:40:30.000 Or give them credit.
02:40:31.000 Yes.
02:40:32.000 But there's no way you can discount the fact that they were motherfuckers when they were on top.
02:40:37.000 When Robert Plant would stand on that fucking stage with his shirt open, I mean, it's one of the weirdest things.
02:40:44.000 Think about that change in history, right?
02:40:47.000 Go from 1950...
02:40:50.000 To 1969. Go 19 years and you see, you go from people that look like Hank Williams Sr. To a guy, Robert Plant, who apparently was wearing the blouses or dresses or t-shirts that the girl he had the night before had worn.
02:41:06.000 Do you know that?
02:41:07.000 That's what he'd wear on stage?
02:41:08.000 That's correct, sir.
02:41:09.000 That's what I hear.
02:41:09.000 He probably fucked his way through the planet.
02:41:11.000 Bring up his shirts.
02:41:13.000 He always wore girl shirts that were too small for him.
02:41:15.000 Well, and you can always see his hog in his pants.
02:41:17.000 Yeah.
02:41:17.000 He always had his hog pressed to the side.
02:41:19.000 Yeah.
02:41:22.000 Every heavy metal band in the 80s, Poison, you name it, whatever, Motley Crue, they all had a blonde lead singer with a high voice!
02:41:31.000 That was because their hero was Mr. Robert Plant.
02:41:33.000 No, he was a beast, dude.
02:41:35.000 There he's wearing a girl's shirt.
02:41:37.000 Oh my god, that's amazing.
02:41:39.000 Yeah.
02:41:39.000 That's amazing.
02:41:40.000 That shirt barely fits him.
02:41:42.000 Damn right.
02:41:43.000 So many of those pictures where he was wearing.
02:41:44.000 What a crazy life that guy led.
02:41:47.000 Yes, sir.
02:41:48.000 Look at that one.
02:41:48.000 That's his shirt, too.
02:41:49.000 I don't think any one of us will ever be able to understand.
02:41:53.000 Even if you became like the new Led Zeppelin, you'll never understand what it's like to be Led Zeppelin.
02:41:58.000 In the 70s?
02:41:59.000 Yeah, in the 70s.
02:42:00.000 What?
02:42:01.000 Like, imagine if you today became the new giganto fucking multi-country rock band.
02:42:08.000 Doesn't matter.
02:42:09.000 Too many people watching you.
02:42:10.000 Well, it's not just that.
02:42:11.000 Too many people watching you, and there's a lot of you.
02:42:14.000 You gotta think back when Robert Plant was Robert Plant.
02:42:17.000 You were the royalty.
02:42:18.000 You were literally like a king.
02:42:20.000 Yeah, you had The Who.
02:42:21.000 You had Rolling Stones.
02:42:22.000 You had Elton John.
02:42:23.000 You had people.
02:42:23.000 You had people.
02:42:24.000 But maybe you had 30. Yeah.
02:42:26.000 You might have had 30. Yeah.
02:42:28.000 30 big name artists.
02:42:30.000 Maybe.
02:42:30.000 Maybe.
02:42:31.000 Maybe.
02:42:32.000 But it's true.
02:42:32.000 Maybe a hundred.
02:42:33.000 Let's get crazy.
02:42:34.000 Say it's a hundred.
02:42:35.000 You got Pink Floyd.
02:42:36.000 You got The Who.
02:42:37.000 When you think about the Beatles, obviously.
02:42:39.000 ACDC. Yeah.
02:42:40.000 Yeah, you got all sorts of shit.
02:42:41.000 You got a lot going on back then.
02:42:44.000 Of course, you have Hendrix.
02:42:46.000 Joplin.
02:42:47.000 Chance Joplin.
02:42:48.000 The Doors.
02:42:49.000 Yeah, man.
02:42:50.000 You got a lot of shit.
02:42:50.000 And then you got the weird ones.
02:42:52.000 The Mamas and the Papas.
02:42:53.000 Amazing band.
02:42:54.000 Wasn't there some weird shit that went on with that family?
02:42:57.000 Well, yeah, but also heroin and cocaine kind of killed all that whole music scene.
02:43:02.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that.
02:43:03.000 That's the problem.
02:43:04.000 It sort of starts it up and then it poisons it.
02:43:06.000 Well, psychedelics and weed, probably good for your music.
02:43:09.000 When you get into cocaine and heroin, it's not going to happen.
02:43:12.000 Your music's going to die.
02:43:15.000 You know, I get it that it's bad for you.
02:43:21.000 But I think it can't be a coincidence that so many people that love heroin made amazing music.
02:43:29.000 Beforehand, though.
02:43:31.000 Beforehand?
02:43:31.000 Yeah, look at Lou Reed.
02:43:33.000 Any of them who got into heroin, their music stopped.
02:43:36.000 Lou Reed was always...
02:43:37.000 Even Hendrix and Jim Morrison.
02:43:40.000 I mean, a lot of the songs that Hendrix was writing, he died at 27. So that was a relatively...
02:43:46.000 His musical development, I think, was done less with maybe psychedelics, but I don't think heroin played a factor until later on in his life.
02:43:57.000 It's hard to say.
02:43:58.000 I mean, I don't know.
02:43:59.000 I know he was arrested in Toronto with heroin.
02:44:01.000 I don't know the whole history of his...
02:44:03.000 I don't...
02:44:03.000 By that time, he was already so famous.
02:44:05.000 He had already written those songs that got him there, you know?
02:44:07.000 Maybe.
02:44:08.000 I mean, I don't know when he started using heroin or why.
02:44:12.000 I don't think heroin makes you more...
02:44:26.000 Yes.
02:44:27.000 Yes.
02:44:36.000 Yes and no.
02:44:37.000 Yes and no.
02:44:38.000 Because yes, he is unbelievably talented.
02:44:41.000 Yes, he's an amazing writer.
02:44:42.000 He's one of my personal favorites.
02:44:44.000 I mean, I probably read more Stephen King books than any other fiction author.
02:44:47.000 But the stuff that he wrote when he was doing drugs was hardcore shit.
02:44:53.000 He wrote The Shining and Cujo and The Tommyknockers.
02:44:56.000 The Shining was one of the best.
02:44:57.000 He wrote all sorts of wicked books, man, where there's just evil intentions and ruthless actions and shocking scenes.
02:45:07.000 And the fact—was it a coincidence he was doing coke?
02:45:10.000 Just a coincidence he was drunk and doing coke?
02:45:13.000 No, I don't think that's what wrote the books, though.
02:45:14.000 I think what happened was— No one's saying that.
02:45:16.000 Look, vitamin C doesn't make a person.
02:45:18.000 Right.
02:45:19.000 These are tools to squeeze the most out of your imagination while suppressing any sort of societal...
02:45:32.000 Handcuffs you might have put on yourself because of the horrific notions.
02:45:36.000 He would say things in his book where you would go, whoa.
02:45:41.000 You would have to take a step back.
02:45:44.000 What kind of fucking person thinks this up?
02:45:48.000 I'll tell you what kind of person.
02:45:49.000 A guy who's drunk as fuck doing coke.
02:45:53.000 Who's also a great writer.
02:45:55.000 It's not that he's not capable of writing that stuff and digging it to his...
02:46:00.000 I'm not saying that.
02:46:02.000 I think he probably could have achieved the exact same results on The Natch.
02:46:06.000 Because he's Steven Motherfucker.
02:46:08.000 He might have focused his mind for...
02:46:10.000 It's also possible that that stuff is rocket fuel.
02:46:17.000 It's rocket fuel for your physical energy, your anger, your moods, your inhibitions dissolve, and it might open up the pathway to that forbidden door of demon rape that you didn't want to get to.
02:46:32.000 And that becomes the best scene in a Stephen King book.
02:46:36.000 It gives you courage.
02:46:37.000 Oh, what the hell's that?
02:46:38.000 Pet Sematary.
02:46:38.000 It just came out.
02:46:39.000 What is it?
02:46:40.000 They just brought up, they remade it.
02:46:42.000 Oh, no way!
02:46:42.000 It just came out this weekend, or last week or something.
02:46:44.000 No way!
02:46:44.000 It comes out in a week or two, yeah.
02:46:46.000 Is it a comedy?
02:46:47.000 No, definitely not.
02:46:48.000 I heard it's really good.
02:46:49.000 Really?
02:46:50.000 Yeah.
02:46:50.000 Oh, John Lithgow's there.
02:46:51.000 I gotta go, kids.
02:46:52.000 That guy's always good.
02:46:53.000 You gotta go?
02:46:54.000 I gotta go meet my family.
02:46:55.000 Let's close it down, Brian Gallen.
02:47:00.000 Joe Rogan, thanks for getting me.
02:47:01.000 Way too high to move.
02:47:02.000 Thank you for having the number one comedy special on the planet Earth.
02:47:07.000 Something like that.
02:47:08.000 Somebody told me that.
02:47:09.000 I think I saw it.
02:47:10.000 All right, good.
02:47:11.000 I saw it myself.
02:47:13.000 Complicated Apes.
02:47:14.000 Yeah.
02:47:14.000 Come see me this weekend.
02:47:15.000 Where are you at again?
02:47:16.000 Kansas City Improv.
02:47:17.000 Kansas City Improv.
02:47:18.000 Friday, Saturday.
02:47:18.000 That's a great club.
02:47:20.000 Yeah, I hope I'm not still high.
02:47:21.000 I don't know what you put in this stuff.
02:47:22.000 You will be.
02:47:23.000 There it is.
02:47:24.000 There it is.
02:47:24.000 Look at that, you guys.
02:47:26.000 Brian Callan, Complicated Apes.
02:47:28.000 Because that's what we are.
02:47:30.000 Indeed.
02:47:30.000 All right, sir.
02:47:31.000 Thank you very much.
02:47:32.000 Love you.
02:47:33.000 Always good to hang with you.
02:47:34.000 We should do this more often.
02:47:35.000 We always say that.
02:47:35.000 Always a blast.
02:47:36.000 We're doing it like every couple months now, right?
02:47:38.000 Yeah.
02:47:39.000 Jamie, when was the last time?
02:47:40.000 Just Brian?
02:47:41.000 Yeah.
02:47:41.000 It's been a while for just Brian.
02:47:42.000 How much?
02:47:43.000 I don't know.
02:47:44.000 Six months?
02:47:44.000 No.
02:47:45.000 Two years?
02:47:46.000 Two years.
02:47:46.000 Might have been a year or two, yeah.
02:47:47.000 Dude, time's flying too quickly.
02:47:49.000 I know.
02:47:49.000 It's crazy.
02:47:50.000 Let's do it every few months.
02:47:51.000 Thank you.
02:47:51.000 You and me.
02:47:52.000 Every few months.
02:47:52.000 Thank you.
02:47:53.000 I'm down.
02:47:53.000 All right.
02:47:54.000 Please.
02:47:54.000 Thank you.
02:47:55.000 Bye.
02:47:55.000 Bye, everybody.
02:47:58.000 Shots won't make me better.