The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1273

00:00:00.000 The difference that I'm learning between when I do comedy and acting is that like the last thing people really want to see from your own stage is you really get emotional.

00:00:08.000 Yeah.

00:00:08.000 You know, but when you act you have to go to that right away.

00:00:13.000 Big difference.

00:00:14.000 We're live?

00:00:15.000 Is it working?

00:00:16.000 Oh my Jesus!

00:00:18.000 A candid moment.

00:00:20.000 No, I think you're totally right.

00:00:21.000 Ron Funches and I were talking about people getting mad.

00:00:24.000 First of all, welcome to the show.

00:00:25.000 Thanks for having me.

00:00:26.000 Thanks for being here, man.

00:00:27.000 Appreciate it.

00:00:28.000 We were talking about people getting emotional on stage.

00:00:30.000 If people get angry on stage, that...

00:00:34.000 It shows.

00:00:35.000 The audience can feel it.

00:00:36.000 You can say the exact same words.

00:00:37.000 And with a fake anger, as we were saying, Brody was really good at.

00:00:42.000 He would fake be mad at you.

00:00:45.000 Lewis Black.

00:00:47.000 Yes.

00:00:47.000 If you can see those exact same words, there's like a smile to it.

00:00:51.000 You were saying there's a nod or a hint.

00:00:54.000 Hint of a nod.

00:00:55.000 Yeah, there's a little wink that lets you know that this is a joke.

00:00:59.000 I'm not really this mad about it.

00:01:01.000 And there's usually an absurdity about the thing they're mad at.

00:01:04.000 Yes.

00:01:05.000 We also see those sets sometimes when someone's recently broken up with somebody or something.

00:01:11.000 And then you get that real anger.

00:01:14.000 And you could say something funny, but it's too fresh.

00:01:18.000 It's too real.

00:01:19.000 And people just don't want to hear it.

00:01:21.000 They don't want to hear it.

00:01:21.000 It makes them feel uncomfortable.

00:01:24.000 We were talking about how weird it is that you could actually have something that sounded so similar to that, but we could tell the difference.

00:01:32.000 Like with the exact same words, you know, with enthusiasm, just something's off about it.

00:01:38.000 Something's off about it that you know it's funny versus something's off about it where you know that person's serious.

00:01:44.000 And a person, like I was, we were just saying, try to explain that to someone who doesn't understand English or doesn't understand human communication.

00:01:51.000 They'd be like, what?

00:01:52.000 Yeah.

00:01:53.000 How can you tell?

00:01:54.000 Like, how can you tell it's fake?

00:01:55.000 How can you tell it's fake anger?

00:01:56.000 Yeah, that's what makes, I mean, the language so fun.

00:01:59.000 Yes.

00:01:59.000 It's not just about the words, it's about the intent behind the words.

00:02:04.000 Yes.

00:02:05.000 And body language and posture is what makes comedy so deep, you know?

00:02:10.000 That's what I love about it.

00:02:11.000 Oh, for sure.

00:02:12.000 Yeah.

00:02:13.000 I mean, what we're trying to do is convey intent.

00:02:17.000 We're trying to figure out a way to sneak ideas into your head where maybe you didn't see the punchline coming.

00:02:23.000 Yeah, it's a very strange art form.

00:02:26.000 One of the strangest ever.

00:02:29.000 I've always said it's almost like a form of mass hypnosis.

00:02:34.000 Do you feel that sometimes?

00:02:35.000 Like in the middle of the set and you're in the groove?

00:02:38.000 Yeah.

00:02:39.000 A lot of ways.

00:02:41.000 One of...

00:02:42.000 I mean, you're a weird guy, so it doesn't matter.

00:02:47.000 It's going to get weird in multiple ways.

00:02:49.000 But when I first started my acting class, I was talking about that with my acting coach.

00:02:55.000 And I'd be like, there's a point, like, if my set's really going well, where I'm in the present moment of enjoying the set and saying these words, but at the same time, I'm in the future thinking about what's coming next.

00:03:09.000 I'm surveying everything that's going around me, and I'm also still kind of like judging myself off of what just happened.

00:03:16.000 And so this thing happens where you're kind of like time traveling in a way, where you don't exist in any one space of time.

00:03:24.000 You just kind of like remove yourself from that.

00:03:27.000 And when your set's going really well, that's the thing that my girlfriend and I have talked about is that...

00:03:31.000 I think?

00:03:53.000 Yeah.

00:03:54.000 Or some people remember shit you don't remember anymore.

00:03:56.000 Yeah.

00:03:57.000 That's a weird one.

00:03:57.000 Yeah.

00:03:58.000 I've had people come up to me and tell me a bit.

00:03:59.000 I go, what bit is that?

00:04:01.000 And they'll tell me the bit.

00:04:02.000 I'm like, when is that from?

00:04:04.000 Like, 2014. I'm like, I don't even remember that.

00:04:08.000 Yeah, just something you were...

00:04:09.000 Trying out every now and then.

00:04:10.000 Who knows?

00:04:11.000 Yeah.

00:04:12.000 That's what's fun now for me is I'm getting a little bit deeper.

00:04:15.000 I've been coming up on 13 years.

00:04:17.000 Now I'm getting to the point where I'm like, oh, this bit that I tried two or three years ago now works.

00:04:24.000 Yes, yes.

00:04:25.000 That's really fun.

00:04:26.000 Yeah, I remember that time.

00:04:29.000 You're essentially a PhD in comedy when you got 10 years in.

00:04:34.000 Like, if you do real 10 hard years of comedy, and then after that, it seems like some guys, I mean, it all depends on the artist, right?

00:04:43.000 But some guys have their best work, like 15, 16 years in, are just starting to catch their groove and figure out what it is.

00:04:50.000 You know, because it's...

00:04:52.000 It's only understood by the people who practice it.

00:04:55.000 It's understood in a way by a lot of people who are comedy fans, but that's similar to me being a fan of music.

00:05:05.000 I don't know shit about music, but I know what I like.

00:05:07.000 I know when it sounds good.

00:05:08.000 I literally don't understand any of it.

00:05:11.000 So I think there's those kinds of people too.

00:05:13.000 Yeah, I mean, comedy is such a...

00:05:16.000 Yeah, I mean, that's what gets great when you're peers.

00:05:19.000 That's one thing I loved about doing my special other than, like, people seeing it and being able to, like...

00:05:25.000 I wanted to just make something and put something out.

00:05:27.000 I had always done, like, small little things or guessed it on people's things.

00:05:31.000 And I was like, oh, I've been doing comedy over 10 years and I show a lot of potential.

00:05:36.000 I want to present a meal.

00:05:38.000 And when I... Put it out, and people's reaction was great, but my peers is what really made me happy.

00:05:48.000 When I would get texts from Mulaney or people being like, this was your hour.

00:05:56.000 This is you presenting who you are completely.

00:05:59.000 Right.

00:06:01.000 When people can see the stuff behind it, when it's not just like joke, punchline, joke, punchline.

00:06:05.000 When people can see like, oh, you set this up, you did this right, your structure is right, and then you just were yourself.

00:06:13.000 That's what really makes me happy in comedy.

00:06:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:17.000 You're a funny dude, man.

00:06:18.000 I enjoy watching you.

00:06:19.000 I've watched you quite a few times at the comedy store now in the main room.

00:06:22.000 You're very, very funny, man.

00:06:24.000 It's cool to see a guy like you put something down that's representative of your real stand-up, what you're capable of doing.

00:06:31.000 It's a nice group to be a part of, man.

00:06:34.000 And you sound like you think about it a lot.

00:06:36.000 I really appreciate that.

00:06:37.000 When people think about what it is we're doing, how do you do it?

00:06:41.000 How do you do it?

00:06:42.000 Do you write?

00:06:43.000 Do you write on paper?

00:06:45.000 Do you write with a typewriter?

00:06:46.000 Do you just have ideas and you just keep working on them?

00:06:49.000 It's all a mix, you know?

00:06:51.000 I like to say I'm more of a fisher than a hunter.

00:06:54.000 I'm not constantly like, oh, I need to write this down.

00:06:58.000 Every day I have the structure.

00:07:00.000 But I'm constantly...

00:07:02.000 I try to make my house so that we're constantly always joking around with each other.

00:07:06.000 There's notebooks everywhere.

00:07:08.000 There's little bowls of post-it notes for me whenever I... An idea comes, I have to make sure I catch it, and then I have to make sure that I work on it.

00:07:18.000 That becomes a difference, just constantly keeping myself in motion so that I don't get stagnant and I don't just do the same 10-15 over and over again.

00:07:28.000 That's where I think, especially when I first moved out here, it was always about, oh, I've got to show these people that I'm good, so I've got to do my best work.

00:07:37.000 My best work.

00:07:38.000 And I did that for about three months.

00:07:39.000 And I was like, oh, I don't have anything in the kitchen.

00:07:42.000 I don't have any backup, you know?

00:07:44.000 I haven't been building anything up.

00:07:45.000 And so I learned very quickly.

00:07:47.000 I think the comedy story has been the best for me at that.

00:07:49.000 It's just being like, having to follow people who are completely not like me stylistically.

00:07:57.000 Having to follow people who I grew up watching.

00:08:01.000 You know, I did a...

00:08:03.000 Night the other day where I had to follow, it was Sebastian and then Ron White and then me.

00:08:07.000 And then I was like, there's no...

00:08:10.000 I mean, I'm like, I'm confident in myself.

00:08:12.000 Some people know me, but when it comes to that, it's like...

00:08:15.000 I'm the bottom of the totem pole on those three, and I had to go out there and just show them that, like, I'm capable.

00:08:21.000 I'm not gonna mess up the momentum here.

00:08:23.000 I'm just as funny as these people.

00:08:25.000 You just don't know me.

00:08:26.000 You haven't met me yet.

00:08:28.000 That's the thing.

00:08:29.000 I've been listening to a lot, like, there's rappers all the time, but, like, there's rapper 2 Chainz where he said, like...

00:08:35.000 I just had to wait for the fans and for the game to learn what I already knew.

00:08:42.000 And that's where I'm starting to feel now, a new confidence of like, I know I'm good and I just have to wait for people to catch up on my wave.

00:08:49.000 And if they don't, they don't.

00:08:51.000 If they do, fine.

00:08:52.000 Dude, that's very Jazz of you.

00:08:53.000 Yeah.

00:08:55.000 2 Chainz was the guy who debated Nancy Grace about weed.

00:08:58.000 Remember that?

00:08:59.000 Yeah!

00:09:01.000 Weed is gonna kill ya!

00:09:04.000 He outlasted her.

00:09:07.000 Yeah, that didn't work.

00:09:09.000 I mean, it's hilarious now when you see how many states have legalized it.

00:09:13.000 In full disclosure, Ron and I smoked marijuana with young Jamie before this podcast.

00:09:18.000 Yes, we do.

00:09:19.000 As I do so many others.

00:09:21.000 Finally, the stigma is slowly being removed.

00:09:24.000 Slowly?

00:09:25.000 Dude, I was a drug addict in the 90s when I first started smoking weed.

00:09:29.000 I guess it was not even the 90s.

00:09:31.000 It was like, maybe in 98 or 99. Somewhere around then.

00:09:36.000 That's when I started smoking weed.

00:09:38.000 And you were a drug addict.

00:09:40.000 You were a drug addict.

00:09:41.000 You're a marijuana user?

00:09:43.000 What's wrong with you, man?

00:09:44.000 Get your shit together.

00:09:46.000 I'm like, man, you guys don't get it.

00:09:47.000 There's 2 Chainz.

00:09:48.000 There he is.

00:09:49.000 Nancy Grace.

00:09:50.000 They put the stuff on the screen when it was going on.

00:09:52.000 How many marijuanas does it take to overdose?

00:09:59.000 Jamie sent me that.

00:10:00.000 Send me that.

00:10:01.000 That is a fucking amazing quote.

00:10:05.000 Did she really say that?

00:10:06.000 No, no, no.

00:10:07.000 It's a Twitter user.

00:10:08.000 It's like people were tweeting whatever, hashtag pot to blame.

00:10:11.000 Oh, my God.

00:10:11.000 Oh, that Twitter user.

00:10:13.000 Oh, Styler.

00:10:15.000 Styler2015.

00:10:15.000 Oh, Styler2015.

00:10:17.000 Dude, but is 2015 the day of the tweet?

00:10:20.000 It must be.

00:10:20.000 No, it's probably just in his account.

00:10:21.000 I don't know when it happens.

00:10:22.000 It's a weird tweet, though, because there's a space in there.

00:10:25.000 Yeah, I think 2015, well, whether...

00:10:30.000 I don't know.

00:10:31.000 Whoever that is, congratulations.

00:10:34.000 Made me laugh my ass off.

00:10:35.000 That's funny.

00:10:36.000 She was a ridiculous lady.

00:10:39.000 She obviously wasn't that healthy.

00:10:42.000 She wasn't a very fit, health-conscious person.

00:10:47.000 She was worrying about weed.

00:10:48.000 She was a crazy person.

00:10:50.000 She was like Paula Deen, but she couldn't cook food.

00:10:56.000 There's...

00:10:59.000 Marijuana is gonna kill you, Ron Funches.

00:11:02.000 People still like that.

00:11:04.000 There's a lot of people like that in the middle of the country.

00:11:05.000 In the middle of the country.

00:11:07.000 Sometimes it's still, like, you know, there's a lot of stigma that depends racially, you know?

00:11:10.000 Yeah.

00:11:10.000 Depends.

00:11:11.000 They get the soccer weed moms and everybody's like, oh, that's cool.

00:11:15.000 And then you still get that.

00:11:17.000 Like, I did a podcast the other day and the first comments were like, either you're too stoned, you're not doing it.

00:11:22.000 I was like, no, I just did a bad job, you know?

00:11:24.000 Like, I could have just done a bad job.

00:11:26.000 It didn't have anything to do with me being stoned.

00:11:29.000 Yeah, like they know that if you were sober, the podcast would have been way better.

00:11:33.000 If you were sober, man, you wouldn't have been so weird.

00:11:37.000 It's true.

00:11:38.000 It's all true.

00:11:39.000 I used to have to go to this place, the Englewood Wellness Center.

00:11:41.000 It was kind of in a hood area.

00:11:44.000 A little bit sketchy.

00:11:46.000 And then while we were going there, within a year or two later, the guy who ran it got shot and robbed there.

00:11:55.000 It's like, that's how dangerous weed was.

00:11:56.000 Because you had to do it all in cash.

00:11:58.000 They wouldn't let banks use checks.

00:12:00.000 They wouldn't accept checks and credit cards.

00:12:02.000 So everything was weird.

00:12:04.000 Even though it was medical and it was legal, you had to get it through nefarious ways.

00:12:08.000 And then slowly but surely, the stigma started to erase.

00:12:13.000 Yeah.

00:12:13.000 Now you can just go to a store on Melrose.

00:12:16.000 Yes!

00:12:16.000 Like adults!

00:12:18.000 Like, how do you feel?

00:12:20.000 You're a wise man.

00:12:21.000 How do you feel?

00:12:22.000 I shouldn't have qualified that.

00:12:24.000 I felt like I'm setting you up.

00:12:27.000 What do you think about making all drugs legal?

00:12:30.000 Do you think that that would ever happen?

00:12:32.000 And given what we know about prohibition, sounds like an interview, given what we know about prohibition, like how bad it was for alcohol and how it popped up, the organized crime, and I mean...

00:12:42.000 It caused a lot of problems.

00:12:45.000 Do you think it would be a wise thing to make all drugs legal?

00:12:50.000 That's a tough question for me.

00:12:53.000 I think you have to start, I guess that's really trying to give people a lot of credit about their intelligence and their decision making, right?

00:13:00.000 And that's what you're trying to lead towards, that the individual is very intelligent and they're going to make their decision no matter what, and that By putting these stigmas to it, just like, you know, prostitution, things like that, you're just adding extra jail time, extra obstacles,

00:13:15.000 extra life-threatening situations.

00:13:20.000 And you're also penalizing people for their own life choices instead of propping up organized crime.

00:13:26.000 As well as, rather, propping up organized crime.

00:13:29.000 But, if you've seen the effects of drug addiction, which I've had on occasion, it's hard to go like, yeah, this should be okay, you know?

00:13:39.000 I 100% agree.

00:13:41.000 It's not that clean.

00:13:43.000 No.

00:13:44.000 That would be my answer.

00:13:46.000 I don't think it's that clean.

00:13:47.000 I think that it is a case-by-case basis.

00:13:49.000 Do I think marijuana should be legal?

00:13:52.000 Absolutely.

00:13:53.000 Do I think that you should necessarily legalize heroin?

00:13:55.000 No.

00:13:56.000 I don't think so.

00:13:56.000 I don't think so either.

00:13:58.000 But I think there's a real problem with infantilizing adults.

00:14:06.000 The real problem is if you are 25 years old or older and you decide you want to try cocaine, why can they say you can't do that?

00:14:16.000 Why?

00:14:17.000 Says who?

00:14:18.000 Says who?

00:14:19.000 Why if you catch me with that, can you put me in a jail?

00:14:28.000 We're good to go.

00:14:41.000 But who the fuck do you think is making money selling coke?

00:14:45.000 Because there's a lot of coke.

00:14:46.000 It's one thing that's completely 100% illegal.

00:14:50.000 That's why Miami exists.

00:14:50.000 Yeah.

00:14:51.000 It's everywhere.

00:14:52.000 There's no other industry in Miami and there's so much money there.

00:14:56.000 Did you see Cocaine Cowboys?

00:14:58.000 No.

00:14:58.000 Oh.

00:14:59.000 Dude.

00:15:00.000 Billy Corbin, the guy who directed it, was on the podcast yesterday.

00:15:03.000 He's fantastic, and he's got this new documentary called Screwball.

00:15:08.000 It's about Alex Hernandez and steroids and baseball and all this crazy shit.

00:15:12.000 Rodriguez.

00:15:12.000 Oh, right.

00:15:13.000 Rodriguez.

00:15:13.000 Who's Alex Hernandez?

00:15:14.000 Is this a different one?

00:15:16.000 A-Rod.

00:15:17.000 How did I say her name is?

00:15:17.000 Was he the guy?

00:15:18.000 No, that's Aaron.

00:15:19.000 That's the weed.

00:15:20.000 I'm thinking of the guy from the New England Patriots.

00:15:22.000 Goddamn weed.

00:15:23.000 Fuck my head up.

00:15:24.000 That is the guy from the Patriots.

00:15:25.000 No, that's Aaron Hernandez.

00:15:26.000 Oh, okay.

00:15:27.000 That's where I fucked it up.

00:15:28.000 My apologies, Alex.

00:15:29.000 Alex Rodriguez.

00:15:31.000 Anyway, this guy made a documentary called Cocaine Cowboys.

00:15:35.000 And it's all about how crazy during the big cocaine days Miami was.

00:15:41.000 And how one year the entire graduating class of the Sheriff's Academy...

00:15:46.000 The police academy, whatever it was, they either were murdered or they were arrested for corruption.

00:15:53.000 The whole, everyone, the entire class.

00:15:57.000 The entire graduating year.

00:15:59.000 It was Wild West chaos.

00:16:02.000 And there was all these pilots bringing in millions of dollars worth of coke.

00:16:05.000 And they had bags of money buried in their backyard.

00:16:08.000 It's fucking crazy.

00:16:10.000 That's interesting.

00:16:11.000 It's great, man.

00:16:13.000 It's great.

00:16:13.000 It's a two-part series.

00:16:15.000 There's two parts to it, too.

00:16:16.000 Do you ever hear about the Black Mafia family?

00:16:19.000 Do you ever watch any documentaries about them?

00:16:22.000 No.

00:16:22.000 That makes me always interested.

00:16:23.000 What did they do?

00:16:24.000 They were a cocaine outlet in the early 2000s out of Atlanta.

00:16:30.000 At one point, they were running most of the South, Southeast, head by this dude named Big Meech.

00:16:38.000 Then they decided we should legalize and get into a rap.

00:16:42.000 But they had never done anything like that before and they were very blatant about it.

00:16:47.000 So all of a sudden these people who came out of nowhere were just all on like every magazine.

00:16:52.000 They had this thing where they're interviewing police officers and they had this big billboard.

00:16:59.000 When you would land in Atlanta, that would just say, BMF, we own the world.

00:17:04.000 And they would just out there and they would throw these big parties with tigers and stuff.

00:17:08.000 And they only had one recording artist.

00:17:11.000 So it was just like they weren't good at pretending not to be drug dealers.

00:17:15.000 Wow.

00:17:16.000 So it's very interesting to me.

00:17:18.000 Well, that whole rap business, man.

00:17:22.000 I mean, if you just stop and think about rap music, other than some country...

00:17:27.000 And I mean really, like a small amount of country would talk about murdering men.

00:17:33.000 You know?

00:17:34.000 I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

00:17:38.000 A few Johnny Cash, maybe some Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, maybe some of those songs.

00:17:44.000 But when you get to N.W.A., you have a totally different level of aggression.

00:17:51.000 When you get to Ice-T's body count, when he was doing that hard metal shit and he was doing Fuck the Police or I'm a Cop Killer...

00:18:00.000 I mean, it's either NWA's Fuck the Police or Ice-T's I'm a Cop Killer.

00:18:04.000 You hear those like, you've never heard anything like that before.

00:18:06.000 Yeah, and that was an interesting time because that's, I mean, talking about real anger, we talked about before, these are coming from real places of people who were dealing with Los Angeles at a horrible time and a lot of police corruption.

00:18:20.000 And then what's crazy is then you...

00:18:22.000 It goes the other way, right?

00:18:24.000 They take that real anger that people connect it to, and then they just start manufacturing it.

00:18:29.000 And then rap becomes all these fake stories of like, I murdered all these people, I have all this money, and now it's just so far gone that it's hard to find.

00:18:40.000 I mean, now my favorite authentic rap is like people who are like, oh, you know, I can't find my Wi-Fi password.

00:18:46.000 Yeah.

00:18:49.000 Are people just talking about raising their kids now?

00:18:51.000 I love that in rap.

00:18:53.000 Because then I'm like, oh, you're for real.

00:18:55.000 Yeah, why not?

00:18:55.000 You can talk about anything.

00:18:57.000 You know, today was a good day.

00:19:00.000 Right?

00:19:01.000 I mean, that was like one of the original ones, right?

00:19:03.000 There used to be a song called All You Could Eat, which was just about going to a buffet.

00:19:08.000 Yeah.

00:19:08.000 But like, today was a good day.

00:19:10.000 I mean, that is like a classic example of someone taking the art form and completely switching it up and slowing it down and make it casual and relaxed and celebratory.

00:19:21.000 And that's from the same dude.

00:19:23.000 The same dude from NWA. Yeah, smart man.

00:19:27.000 Smart man.

00:19:28.000 He's a wizard of a writer, too.

00:19:29.000 His lyrics are fantastic.

00:19:31.000 You know?

00:19:34.000 There's lyrics in my mind when it comes to hip-hop, there's lyrics and there's Nas.

00:19:39.000 Nas does shit that you just go like that backwards song.

00:19:43.000 Everything is so...

00:19:45.000 It's like a practiced orchestra as opposed to just being rhymes.

00:19:53.000 Sometimes he puts things together so So, interestingly, you know, he's got his own special sort of appreciation for things.

00:20:01.000 Yeah, he's also a very smart man.

00:20:03.000 It has to be.

00:20:05.000 He invests in a lot of tech companies.

00:20:07.000 He's big in investments.

00:20:10.000 Why?

00:20:10.000 He was young 20s when he wrote that.

00:20:11.000 He was like 23 when that song came out.

00:20:13.000 That's incredible.

00:20:14.000 His dad was like a jazz musician, so I think he grew up around the culture of creating things and being an artist.

00:20:21.000 He's got that feel to him.

00:20:23.000 He's like a hybrid, you know?

00:20:25.000 In terms of it, he's like jazzy rap, sort of.

00:20:29.000 You know what I mean?

00:20:30.000 There's something to it.

00:20:31.000 He's almost like a classical trained musician slash rapper in terms of how he constructs things.

00:20:40.000 Yeah, like Hamilton.

00:20:42.000 I didn't see Hamilton.

00:20:43.000 Did you see it?

00:20:44.000 No, but a lot of people...

00:20:45.000 Anything that makes a lot of white people get into rap, I go, this is probably not for me.

00:20:55.000 I don't need rap about the presidents.

00:20:58.000 This is one thing that white guys have managed to infiltrate certain elements of rap, but such a small number of legitimately respected white rappers.

00:21:08.000 What's the number?

00:21:11.000 Eminem, of course.

00:21:11.000 Eminem.

00:21:12.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:21:13.000 Kid Rock, in a way.

00:21:14.000 He's kind of a rapper, even though he doesn't rock.

00:21:15.000 I wouldn't say he is a respected rapper.

00:21:18.000 No.

00:21:19.000 But it's fun.

00:21:20.000 Yeah.

00:21:21.000 It's accepted.

00:21:22.000 McElmore.

00:21:23.000 McElmore.

00:21:24.000 McElmore was great.

00:21:25.000 I used to love them.

00:21:27.000 I used to love Third Base.

00:21:28.000 They were fun.

00:21:30.000 Everlast.

00:21:31.000 BC Boyz.

00:21:31.000 Oh, Everlast for sure.

00:21:32.000 But Everlast has changed and now he raps occasionally.

00:21:36.000 I would think he would call himself more of a musician now.

00:21:38.000 Jump around, though.

00:21:39.000 But he'd still jump around.

00:21:40.000 Yeah, still jump around.

00:21:42.000 Well, not only that, the last shit that they put out was great, too.

00:21:46.000 That stuff that he came in and showed us and he did some stuff with Be Real and some other guys.

00:21:51.000 What did they call it?

00:21:51.000 What was his last project?

00:21:55.000 Shout out to that project.

00:21:57.000 We'll find it.

00:21:57.000 Jamie will find it.

00:21:58.000 He's the shit.

00:22:02.000 War Porn Industries.

00:22:04.000 That's right.

00:22:05.000 War Porn Industries.

00:22:06.000 That's preposterous.

00:22:07.000 What a crazy name.

00:22:08.000 How high do you have to be to come up with that name?

00:22:10.000 Action Bronson.

00:22:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:13.000 Albanian.

00:22:14.000 Oh, Action Bronson.

00:22:16.000 Yeah, dude.

00:22:17.000 I've never seen a man smoke more weed in my life.

00:22:19.000 Never seen it.

00:22:20.000 He just keeps going.

00:22:22.000 We took a picture of the ashtray after it was over.

00:22:25.000 Show all the expired blunts.

00:22:29.000 He's from that Fuck That's Delicious show.

00:22:31.000 You ever watch that?

00:22:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:32.000 I'm a big Action Bronson friend.

00:22:34.000 I love him.

00:22:34.000 He's so interesting to me.

00:22:36.000 Do you watch the cooking show?

00:22:37.000 Sometimes, yeah.

00:22:38.000 It's interesting, right?

00:22:39.000 That guy was a legit chef.

00:22:41.000 Yeah.

00:22:42.000 Yeah, man.

00:22:44.000 And then just that he's a great rapper, great chef, a great personality.

00:22:50.000 Super nice guy.

00:22:51.000 He's selling paintings now.

00:22:52.000 Good for him.

00:22:53.000 Yeah.

00:22:53.000 Sell for a billion dollars.

00:22:55.000 That's one billion dollars, you fucks.

00:23:00.000 That's two billion.

00:23:01.000 That's a maze.

00:23:02.000 I had to work on that.

00:23:04.000 That's a rug with a lot of weed burns on it.

00:23:07.000 Get that money, Action Bronson.

00:23:08.000 Get that money.

00:23:10.000 Yeah, man.

00:23:10.000 I'm all for people selling the most ridiculous shit.

00:23:13.000 I went to my agent's house once.

00:23:15.000 He had this dope place in Aspen.

00:23:17.000 I mean, this place was crazy.

00:23:18.000 Aspen houses near the ski lodges and shit.

00:23:21.000 And on the wall, he had this painting.

00:23:23.000 And I said, I go, did this kid make this?

00:23:25.000 And they go, no, that's a...

00:23:27.000 You know, some fucking obscure popular artist.

00:23:31.000 I go, what is that?

00:23:32.000 And they're like, this is a really expensive piece.

00:23:34.000 They're like, shut the fuck up.

00:23:35.000 You're messing with me?

00:23:36.000 They're like, no.

00:23:37.000 It was like tissue paper.

00:23:39.000 There was like different colors.

00:23:40.000 It was stuck with glue and like a little piece of paper and some paint on it.

00:23:44.000 Get the fuck out of here with this.

00:23:46.000 Like, what are you doing with that?

00:23:48.000 Can't count.

00:23:49.000 I mean, was it pretty?

00:23:51.000 No.

00:23:52.000 No, that's why I was stunned.

00:23:54.000 I thought it was his kid.

00:23:55.000 I thought his kid made it.

00:23:58.000 Maybe I was dumb.

00:24:00.000 I definitely was, but younger and dumber.

00:24:02.000 Maybe I'd appreciate it now, but I don't think so.

00:24:04.000 I appreciate all kinds of art.

00:24:08.000 I appreciate distorted things, but I don't appreciate just a bunch of splat.

00:24:12.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:13.000 It's got to have something to it.

00:24:16.000 Like Jackson Pollock stuff.

00:24:17.000 That stuff weirds me out.

00:24:19.000 It's like, why is it so expensive?

00:24:21.000 I get it.

00:24:22.000 I mean, it's crazy.

00:24:24.000 It's definitely crazy.

00:24:26.000 But then you look at...

00:24:27.000 You know, you look at a classic, like look at some Frank Frazetta stuff.

00:24:35.000 Do you know who that guy is?

00:24:36.000 He was a fantasy painter from the 19th century.

00:24:40.000 There's a poster of his, or a print of one of his works out in the lobby, that Conan the Barbarian one, with that monster.

00:24:47.000 He's got a sword.

00:24:49.000 He was this guy that would do all the covers for Conan the Barbarian books.

00:24:55.000 Just incredible artwork, like wild, crazy fantasy shit.

00:24:59.000 And this is your type of art?

00:25:01.000 Oh, just I loved it when I was a kid, man.

00:25:03.000 When I was a kid, you know, when I was a young boy.

00:25:04.000 This makes a lot of sense.

00:25:05.000 This seems like what you would like.

00:25:08.000 I loved it.

00:25:09.000 It was the best.

00:25:10.000 His books were incredible.

00:25:11.000 Robert E. Howard was this really tortured guy who was a guy who lived with his mom.

00:25:17.000 He had fairly poor health.

00:25:19.000 He died suicide when he was like 36 years old.

00:25:22.000 But he wrote a bunch of these books about a guy that was nothing like him.

00:25:28.000 About a guy who was this just unstoppable force of nature.

00:25:33.000 He created this place called...

00:25:35.000 What did he call it?

00:25:39.000 What was his...

00:25:40.000 Cimmerian?

00:25:41.000 It was Cimmerian?

00:25:42.000 Is that what it was?

00:25:43.000 Where Conan...

00:25:43.000 Conan the Cimmerian, right?

00:25:45.000 C-I-M-E. It created a whole world.

00:25:48.000 And in this world, it was very Games of Thrones-y in a lot of ways.

00:25:52.000 The original shit.

00:25:53.000 No one to this day has really captured the books in a movie.

00:25:56.000 Arnold was fun as Conan.

00:25:58.000 And then Jason Momoa was a better fit physically.

00:26:01.000 He was a perfect fit physically.

00:26:03.000 More realistic as opposed to being a bodybuilder.

00:26:06.000 But no one has ever captured the feeling of the books.

00:26:09.000 Because the books was just some wild shit.

00:26:11.000 And it was all created by this one guy who was super depressed.

00:26:15.000 You just write these books about this guy who just fucked all these women and killed everyone and just smashed his way through the world.

00:26:23.000 Power fantasy.

00:26:24.000 Crazy shit, though.

00:26:25.000 It was all him fighting dragons and monsters and demons coming for his soul, and he ran for 72 hours and fights him off with a sword.

00:26:34.000 When you're 12 years old, like I was, and I got into this shit, you'd be like, whoa, man, this is wild.

00:26:40.000 Oh, I get that.

00:26:41.000 That's like what ECW wrestling was for me, because there was like titties everywhere and violence and blood and nails.

00:26:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:50.000 Dude, I watched one yesterday on Instagram.

00:26:53.000 Somebody had a clip of a guy and a girl, and they're in the middle of the ring.

00:26:56.000 The guy's making out with the girl, and then he turns on there and body slams her down to the ground.

00:27:01.000 And I was like, you could still do that?

00:27:03.000 In pro wrestling, you could still fake violence against a chick?

00:27:08.000 I didn't know you could do that.

00:27:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:09.000 Oh yeah, intergender wrestling is still real big.

00:27:12.000 They fake slam chicks?

00:27:15.000 Sure.

00:27:15.000 That is crazy.

00:27:16.000 I saw him do that and I was like, that could not have felt good.

00:27:19.000 A lady stuck a blow pop up a dude's butt recently.

00:27:22.000 Oh no.

00:27:24.000 He didn't want it.

00:27:26.000 What is this about?

00:27:27.000 It's just his dick.

00:27:29.000 When you carry around blow pop, I guess, you know?

00:27:32.000 Wow.

00:27:33.000 Jesus Christ.

00:27:35.000 Just wrestling.

00:27:36.000 Well, whatever you gotta do to sell them tickets.

00:27:41.000 What is this, Jamie?

00:27:43.000 Is this the blow-pop thing?

00:27:44.000 No way!

00:27:45.000 Oh my god, he's really sticking it up his ass.

00:27:50.000 Oh my god, and then he sidekicks him in the face, and the guy's got his pants down.

00:27:55.000 Wait a minute, that might be the greatest video I've ever seen in my life.

00:27:59.000 Is that the same guy who did the dick move?

00:28:02.000 Oh shit, look at this!

00:28:03.000 Look at this great white shark!

00:28:04.000 Look at this beached great white shark!

00:28:06.000 That's crazy!

00:28:09.000 Fuck, that's crazy.

00:28:10.000 I can't show it.

00:28:11.000 The shark was chasing a seagull.

00:28:13.000 Oh, you can't show it.

00:28:14.000 And accidentally ended up in the beach.

00:28:16.000 Why don't these guys grab it and pull it back in the fucking water, man?

00:28:19.000 It can't bite you.

00:28:21.000 Oh my god, the guy's throwing water on it.

00:28:23.000 Just grab it!

00:28:25.000 You just grab it.

00:28:27.000 They don't know.

00:28:28.000 Oh, how do they not know?

00:28:29.000 Probably scared.

00:28:30.000 That's dead.

00:28:31.000 It's dead now.

00:28:33.000 They can only last outside.

00:28:34.000 Oh, it's still breathing a little bit.

00:28:36.000 That is crazy.

00:28:38.000 That is an ancient fucking feeding machine.

00:28:41.000 Look at the face on that thing, man.

00:28:44.000 Just stop and think about what a motherfucking nightmare the ocean is.

00:28:49.000 What a nightmare.

00:28:50.000 Things like that are just roaming around.

00:28:52.000 And us assholes, we think we're being spiritual.

00:28:54.000 Hey man, I'm just going to get on my board.

00:28:56.000 I'm just going to get on my board and be monster food.

00:28:58.000 No, I put my foot in and back out.

00:29:02.000 I'm such a pussy when it comes to the ocean.

00:29:04.000 I was in Hawaii and we went snorkeling.

00:29:07.000 Dive in the water and you're staring down.

00:29:08.000 It was cool.

00:29:09.000 We were by this reef.

00:29:10.000 But all I was thinking is, I just need one of these motherfuckers and I'm never getting in this water again.

00:29:16.000 One of those motherfuckers.

00:29:18.000 I kind of want to do that now.

00:29:20.000 I was too heavy before I was past the weight limit that you could go do some diving.

00:29:25.000 And I would always tell myself I didn't want to do it, but now I want to do it.

00:29:29.000 Yeah, you can tell yourself a lot of things, right?

00:29:31.000 Mm-hmm.

00:29:32.000 Yeah, Mitch Hepberg used to have a joke about writing that when he gets a funny idea, he writes things down.

00:29:40.000 Or if he's lazy, he convinces himself.

00:29:45.000 Convince myself it was not that funny.

00:29:48.000 How did you lose the weight?

00:29:50.000 I really just changed my...

00:29:53.000 I got a trainer.

00:29:53.000 That was a big part of it.

00:29:55.000 I just changed my diet and started exercising a bunch.

00:29:59.000 From a guy who didn't exercise at all and ate multiple Philly cheesesteaks a day to a guy who eats a bunch of boneless, skinless chicken breasts and protein shakes.

00:30:09.000 And now I work out like six times a day.

00:30:11.000 Wow.

00:30:12.000 Yeah.

00:30:13.000 Just seemed like I was gonna die if I didn't.

00:30:16.000 So what do you do for working out these days?

00:30:19.000 A lot of weightlifting, a lot of back, little biceps, one arm rolls and whatnot.

00:30:28.000 Just general weightlifting.

00:30:30.000 But you do it a lot?

00:30:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:32.000 Do you find it has an effect on your mood, on how you feel?

00:30:38.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:30:38.000 How much better do you feel?

00:30:40.000 And do you attribute it to the working out, the losing weight, or both of them together?

00:30:45.000 It's a combination, definitely.

00:30:47.000 The diet and just feeling better nutrition-wise is very helpful.

00:30:54.000 Yeah.

00:30:55.000 You know, just doing two shows a night now.

00:30:58.000 You know, that used to be a thing for me.

00:30:59.000 I used to be, like, really tired afterwards.

00:31:02.000 And now, you know, no problem.

00:31:04.000 I do a lot of voiceovers and other little things.

00:31:09.000 And so, you know, I'm always bouncing around from going, like, doing shows on the weekend and coming home and then having to go do voiceover on Monday morning and taking care of my son and helping him with his homework.

00:31:19.000 Just being able to do that and not being like, oh, I gotta go pass out.

00:31:23.000 I'm tired.

00:31:25.000 That's really the biggest deal, being able to take on more so then I'm able to make more money.

00:31:31.000 I was carrying my daughter around on my shoulders the other day.

00:31:34.000 She likes to get carried around.

00:31:35.000 She's 63 pounds.

00:31:37.000 And while she's on my shoulders, after, you know, 40 minutes or so of that, like, it's fucking rough.

00:31:44.000 Like, it starts really hurting your neck.

00:31:46.000 You start getting really tired.

00:31:47.000 And I had to put her down.

00:31:48.000 And I was thinking, like, how crazy is that?

00:31:51.000 There's a lot of people that just carry that much extra around with them all the time.

00:31:56.000 We're good to go.

00:32:15.000 There's a company called the Outdoorsman.

00:32:17.000 They make a thing called the Atlas Pack.

00:32:19.000 It's like a backpack frame, but at the back of it is like one of those weightlifting posts.

00:32:24.000 So you could slide an Olympic barbell or an Olympic plate on and two plates.

00:32:29.000 You could put as much as 90 pounds on it, clamp this thing down.

00:32:32.000 And then it's sitting more on your hips.

00:32:34.000 It's way easier to carry.

00:32:36.000 But even that, still, it fucking sucks, man.

00:32:39.000 Walking around with just 45 extra pounds on your back sucks.

00:32:42.000 Yeah.

00:32:43.000 Just being in my mid-30s and being like, oh, my knees are hurting.

00:32:48.000 I never played football.

00:32:49.000 I never did anything like that.

00:32:50.000 My knees shouldn't be hurting.

00:32:52.000 Right.

00:32:52.000 And just knowing, I think I had to just change the...

00:32:56.000 Just changed my mindset about, like, before when I was just doing stand-up to do it and didn't think I was going to be successful, it didn't matter.

00:33:04.000 I was just like, I'm just living for today.

00:33:05.000 Give me free pizza.

00:33:06.000 Give me whatever.

00:33:07.000 And then it was like, once things started changing a little bit, I was like, oh, things are happening.

00:33:12.000 I still don't even really know what I'm doing.

00:33:14.000 Let me, if I give myself a better chance and take care of my health, take care of my body...

00:33:20.000 Let me see how far I can push these gifts, push these skills, you know?

00:33:25.000 And it became more about not wanting to waste opportunities.

00:33:29.000 That's very cool.

00:33:31.000 That's cool.

00:33:31.000 I like that.

00:33:32.000 So, your love of stand-up made you sort of concentrate even more on your own body.

00:33:40.000 Yeah.

00:33:40.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:33:41.000 Yeah.

00:33:42.000 Like, not your love of yourself, not your love of your body.

00:33:45.000 Of course, you have to go through what you do in your life.

00:33:48.000 You're going through it with your body.

00:33:50.000 But it was your love of stand-up to be like, God, I gotta do something about this fucking body.

00:33:54.000 Yeah.

00:33:54.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:33:55.000 Yeah.

00:33:56.000 Love of stand-up, love of my son, and love of fashion.

00:34:00.000 When you get to a certain size, all your shirts got dogs on them.

00:34:06.000 I don't want that anymore.

00:34:09.000 Yeah, right.

00:34:11.000 You get into that triple XL thing.

00:34:13.000 I'm happy whenever anybody does anything that benefits their health, whether it's for whatever your motivation.

00:34:21.000 The end result is always good.

00:34:23.000 It's always good, no matter what motivation is, positive or negative.

00:34:26.000 If you want to prove somebody wrong, You know, or you just want to do just do better just have a better path You know, so it's so it's so attainable for so many people so many people could at least Be way healthier at least have way more energy at least like understanding that not that feeling of just being like all day and every time I cheat like with Burgers and fries and and and like milkshakes and shit like that if I really go off the deep end with my diet I I feel like

00:34:57.000 dog shit.

00:34:58.000 I feel terrible.

00:35:00.000 It hits me.

00:35:01.000 I'm like, oh!

00:35:02.000 And then you gotta realize, hey man, this is how a lot of people feel all the time.

00:35:05.000 Yeah, that's the big deal for me.

00:35:07.000 Same thing.

00:35:08.000 Just going off, ate half a burger and was feeling so sick.

00:35:13.000 And then I was like, man, I used to...

00:35:15.000 Live like this every meal.

00:35:18.000 My body is just a testament of what your body is capable to adapt to.

00:35:24.000 But once you start going the other way and start really getting healthy and your body becomes more sensitive to it, you really are like, oh, I prefer not to cheat.

00:35:35.000 You still got to have that balance.

00:35:37.000 You got to have fun.

00:35:38.000 There's nothing wrong with an ice cream or something like that every now and again or some sort of a dessert, but really it's They just think that your body has to be accustomed to getting what it needs.

00:35:48.000 That's what it is.

00:35:49.000 And for too many people, they're running on a nutrition deficit.

00:35:52.000 So when your body's just not getting what it needs for long periods of time, then you develop chronic inflammation and all sorts of other problems.

00:36:00.000 And this is what people are really suffering from.

00:36:03.000 They're suffering from a nutritional deficiency that's probably lasted for years.

00:36:07.000 They probably never...

00:36:09.000 Some people, they go 10, 15, 20 years without even thinking about their diet and they're just eating dog shit.

00:36:16.000 You're just eating stuff that doesn't have enough nutrients and your body just starts to get weaker.

00:36:20.000 There's no way around it.

00:36:21.000 And if you just...

00:36:23.000 Just turn that, start eating salads, eating healthy fish and some healthy meat, and just take some vitamins.

00:36:32.000 Just take some vitamin supplements.

00:36:33.000 Real simple.

00:36:35.000 Get yourself some multivitamins.

00:36:36.000 Get yourself a little thing of Athletic Greens or something.

00:36:39.000 Get your fucking health online.

00:36:43.000 Once you do, you'll be like, oh...

00:36:46.000 I feel so much better.

00:36:48.000 This is all I had to do?

00:36:49.000 And I'm this person now?

00:36:51.000 Yeah.

00:36:51.000 Mentally so much better, much clearer, much happier.

00:36:54.000 Much happier.

00:36:55.000 It's so hard, though, because we love mouth pleasure.

00:37:01.000 But to the point where people are poisoning their bodies to get mouth pleasure.

00:37:04.000 Yeah, and it's just, you know, constantly pushed in your face.

00:37:08.000 Everybody always knows.

00:37:09.000 We talk about all the time, you know, cheeseburgers 50 cents, salad like five, six dollars, you know.

00:37:15.000 You have to make that effort.

00:37:17.000 You have to be able to want to cook at home and it's not made easy.

00:37:21.000 And that's what I think we become as a society less cool and less appreciative of effort, you know.

00:37:31.000 Yeah, but there's also something really annoying about people that want you to eat healthy.

00:37:36.000 Yeah!

00:37:38.000 That too!

00:37:40.000 Get off your high horse!

00:37:41.000 Get the fuck out of here!

00:37:42.000 If you're sitting there and you're having a burger and fries and enjoying the shit out of it and some asshole next to you has got kale with shaved pecans and talking shit about your diet while they're pouring fresh olive oil on top of their shitty salad.

00:37:57.000 Come on, man.

00:37:58.000 Leave me alone.

00:38:00.000 You know?

00:38:01.000 Leave it alone while I enjoy something gross.

00:38:04.000 Yeah, to each their own.

00:38:05.000 I think as long as the majority of your diet is really healthy, then you can get in those fuck-off days.

00:38:12.000 It doesn't matter.

00:38:13.000 Your body will bounce back.

00:38:15.000 Just don't put it in a deficit.

00:38:17.000 That's the whole key.

00:38:18.000 And that's where I've been coming from, and that's why I have to keep reminding myself because I get frustrated when I'm at these parties or whatever and see food everywhere, crafts everywhere, and I have to stay focused on this diet because I'm like...

00:38:34.000 I, you know, I'm 36 now and I want to make sure that I'm at my healthiest and I return this deficit when I'm 40, you know, because when the natural aging process kicks in, I don't want to be, like, kicking off still being, you know, 230,

00:38:49.000 220 pounds.

00:38:51.000 I want to be, like, 200 and be able to coast and be a hot old man.

00:38:56.000 Hot old man.

00:38:57.000 Yes.

00:38:58.000 It's also way easier to maintain.

00:38:59.000 Competition's less.

00:39:00.000 True.

00:39:02.000 Yeah.

00:39:03.000 It's way easier to maintain, too, than it is to, like, if you're in your 50s, and then you start working out then.

00:39:09.000 It's hard.

00:39:10.000 It's really hard.

00:39:11.000 Like, it's hard for me when I get out of shape.

00:39:13.000 Like, if I get hurt or something like that, and I take a couple weeks off, you feel it.

00:39:17.000 Like, whoa, it's way harder to bounce back.

00:39:20.000 Way hard.

00:39:20.000 Like, twice as hard.

00:39:21.000 As it was when I was younger.

00:39:23.000 Like, you gotta be disciplined.

00:39:24.000 You gotta stay on the horse.

00:39:26.000 Yeah.

00:39:27.000 Stay on the horse.

00:39:28.000 That's what I've been trying to do now is, I think, you know, when you're younger, 20s, teens or whatever, you don't want to listen to anybody saying those things.

00:39:36.000 And now I'm like, I'm starting to listen when someone I know, one of my friends are 50 or older and they're like, hey, you need to do this now because one cheat meal for me is two weeks of work.

00:39:48.000 Yeah.

00:39:53.000 Do you do anything athletic that's fun?

00:39:57.000 That's one way to get good workouts in.

00:39:59.000 If you play a game, you like tennis.

00:40:01.000 Tennis is very fast-paced.

00:40:02.000 People like doing that.

00:40:05.000 Callen's into tennis.

00:40:07.000 Boxing.

00:40:08.000 Callen's into boxing, too.

00:40:09.000 You don't even have to box a person.

00:40:11.000 I don't recommend you do.

00:40:12.000 But just hitting a bag, it's really satisfying, too.

00:40:16.000 Yeah, I've been interested in getting into boxing.

00:40:18.000 I tried some pro wrestling for a little bit.

00:40:21.000 I went to a pro wrestling school for a few months.

00:40:23.000 Have you ever thought about actual grappling?

00:40:27.000 Like taking jujitsu?

00:40:29.000 I thought about it, but it seemed like I would get hurt easily.

00:40:32.000 Well, you could, but you're a smart guy.

00:40:34.000 I think you'd figure it out pretty quickly.

00:40:37.000 It's a very unusual thing because you think of people, like if you thought of someone who does jiu-jitsu, you think like a jockish type person.

00:40:46.000 But the majority of them that are really good are really nerds.

00:40:50.000 I've met a couple people and they're similar to me.

00:40:54.000 They're just kind of like the other side of me.

00:40:56.000 Oh, you like comic books and video games too?

00:40:58.000 You just beat people up.

00:41:00.000 Well, they don't beat people up.

00:41:00.000 They strangle them.

00:41:03.000 But when I say nerd, I mean it with all due respect.

00:41:06.000 Because I'm a nerd in a lot of ways with some things.

00:41:09.000 But they're...

00:41:11.000 They're very like jiu-jitsu geeks.

00:41:13.000 They're like people that are obsessed with anything else, whether it's music or video games.

00:41:21.000 They become obsessed, but they're doing it in this physical way that requires you to have a deep understanding of all the potential moves.

00:41:28.000 It's very complicated in terms of your ability to...

00:41:31.000 When you're rolling with someone, like say if I roll with a guy and I know he's like a brown belt or a black belt or something like that, We're having an argument.

00:41:39.000 It's like a conversation with techniques.

00:41:41.000 And the more of a vocabulary you have and the stronger your use of those words are, particularly the basic words, the better your chance of winning the argument.

00:41:50.000 That's what it's like almost like.

00:41:51.000 This really complicated debate with physical leverage and choking and strangling.

00:41:57.000 Does that translate to your comedy?

00:41:57.000 Because I feel like that kind of reminds me of your style.

00:42:04.000 A lot of what I try to do is figure things out in a joke form.

00:42:09.000 I try to be like, what?

00:42:10.000 Why is that?

00:42:11.000 What's that?

00:42:15.000 That's what I've been trying to do over the last few years, I think.

00:42:18.000 So in that sense, it is kind of similar.

00:42:21.000 Because you're trying to figure something out.

00:42:23.000 It's like a puzzle.

00:42:24.000 I know there's some juice in this puzzle.

00:42:26.000 How do I turn this into a bit?

00:42:29.000 Why do I think this is funny?

00:42:31.000 What do I think I can say out of this that's funny?

00:42:35.000 And also people go, oh yeah, huh.

00:42:38.000 And if I could do that...

00:42:40.000 So in that sense, yeah.

00:42:41.000 But it's also very humbling.

00:42:44.000 It's very humbling.

00:42:46.000 Because you're getting strangled.

00:42:50.000 You're losing power.

00:42:51.000 You also just know.

00:42:53.000 My instructor is John Jock Machado.

00:42:56.000 He's this very famous Jiu-Jitsu black belt world champion.

00:42:59.000 Super nice guy.

00:43:00.000 One of the nicest guys on the planet.

00:43:02.000 But every time I grapple with him...

00:43:05.000 It's a matter of time before he catches me with something.

00:43:08.000 It's not whether or not I'm ever going to catch him.

00:43:11.000 That's not going to happen.

00:43:12.000 It's just a total different world.

00:43:15.000 And a lot of that is his deep knowledge and understanding something.

00:43:20.000 And you being a smart guy...

00:43:21.000 I think you'd get into it.

00:43:23.000 Especially because you love pro wrestling.

00:43:26.000 At least you have a mindset for watching guys do things to each other, manipulate each other, which is half of what's exciting about pro wrestling, right?

00:43:37.000 Some guy pulling off some crazy move.

00:43:38.000 Even if it's orchestrated, it's still a crazy thing that these guys are pulling off on each other.

00:43:43.000 Yeah, I mean, I like that more.

00:43:45.000 Because then I'm like, oh, they're friends and they work this out together.

00:43:48.000 My problem...

00:43:49.000 I know they're getting hurt and they're not even really fighting.

00:43:53.000 Right?

00:43:54.000 I mean, they're hitting each other for sure.

00:43:56.000 They're doing things to each other and slamming each other.

00:43:58.000 It's all real.

00:43:59.000 But those guys get banged up and they do it way more.

00:44:03.000 So if you're watching a guy who's fighting in the UFC, they have practices that they can control.

00:44:08.000 So if they know that they have a hurt back or a Well,

00:44:28.000 they will adjust what moves they will do, but I do really like your point about...

00:44:35.000 At least they can take some time off.

00:44:37.000 Yeah, they can definitely make an agreement with each other.

00:44:41.000 Hey, don't slam me.

00:44:42.000 My back is fucked.

00:44:43.000 But those guys get beat the fuck up.

00:44:45.000 Talking to Dallas Page and Jake the Snake, two guys that I've had on the podcast, which were amazing.

00:44:52.000 And especially Jake's story is fucking crazy, man.

00:44:55.000 Yeah.

00:44:56.000 When he tells you his story, and what a nice guy.

00:44:59.000 Big, giant, nice man.

00:45:01.000 Just genuinely friendly and happy that everything's going well for him now.

00:45:07.000 Crazy.

00:45:07.000 But that's a rough business, is my point.

00:45:10.000 I'm way rather real grappling.

00:45:15.000 I feel like real grappling, if I was going to tell a person what would be safer for your body, I think pro wrestling's harder.

00:45:23.000 I think it's harder on you.

00:45:25.000 I can see that.

00:45:26.000 Dude, they get slammed!

00:45:28.000 You watch some of that stuff.

00:45:30.000 Knowing what you know now about brain damage and knowing what you know now about that it's not even concussions necessarily as much as it's sub-concussive trauma that doesn't knock you unconscious but just rattles your fucking head and the repeated impacts of those.

00:45:44.000 Those guys are getting that all the time.

00:45:46.000 Yeah.

00:45:46.000 All the time.

00:45:47.000 Yeah, no, I go back and sometimes I watch some older wrestling and it really makes me cringe because we got a lot of guys taking all these chair shots straight to the face.

00:45:56.000 Straight to the face.

00:45:57.000 Yeah, I saw Ken Shamrock take this one to the head that sounded like a gunshot.

00:46:02.000 It was crazy.

00:46:03.000 Yeah.

00:46:04.000 Dude, what is it about people getting smacked in the head?

00:46:08.000 Tom Segura's been sending me these Russian slap championships, these videos.

00:46:13.000 Have you seen this shit?

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:15.000 Oh my god, these guys stand in front of each other and smack each other in the face, full clip.

00:46:21.000 But some of them are doing a terrible job.

00:46:24.000 They're hitting with their fingers.

00:46:25.000 Yeah, they're getting a lot of fingers.

00:46:26.000 They're getting fingers.

00:46:27.000 And then there's other guys that are basically doing like a ridge hand strike to your neck.

00:46:34.000 They're clipping guys on the chin like this.

00:46:36.000 And they follow through and it looks like a slap.

00:46:39.000 But this is not a slap.

00:46:42.000 This is like a karate chop.

00:46:45.000 They're like going like that to the head.

00:46:47.000 I mean, it's way harder.

00:46:49.000 And then some guys are doing like a boss root and palm strike.

00:46:53.000 They're hitting like this.

00:46:54.000 They're doing like a right hook to the head like that.

00:46:57.000 It's brutal.

00:46:58.000 Guys are getting knocked unconscious.

00:47:00.000 I like to see it, but just with like older black moms.

00:47:10.000 It used to be the dumbest thing ever.

00:47:11.000 It was called X-Arm, and they would tape these guys' arms together and let them have an MMA fight.

00:47:16.000 What?

00:47:17.000 It was an MMA fight slash arm wrestling competition, and they were taped together.

00:47:22.000 It sounds so stupid, you can't imagine that not only was it real, but that the guy who created it was one of the original creators of the UFC. It's such a crazy idea.

00:47:32.000 They just went for it, man.

00:47:33.000 Look, they taped these people together.

00:47:36.000 Their arms are taped together.

00:47:37.000 They can't even move away.

00:47:39.000 And then when they say go, they start fighting.

00:47:42.000 Come on.

00:47:43.000 And they get in arm bars.

00:47:44.000 This guy fucks this guy's arm up.

00:47:46.000 Dude, he broke his arm on the table.

00:47:48.000 100%.

00:47:48.000 If that guy keeps pulling on that thing, he gets his arm snapped.

00:47:52.000 Yeah, no.

00:47:53.000 I don't know if he actually broke it right there, but the way the leverage of that table...

00:47:57.000 Look at that guy's getting kicked in the fucking head while he's tied to that guy's arm.

00:48:01.000 It's crazy.

00:48:03.000 Pin his arm.

00:48:05.000 Pin his arm or KO him to win.

00:48:07.000 What?

00:48:08.000 What?

00:48:09.000 What?

00:48:10.000 Didn't work.

00:48:10.000 I mean, it didn't last.

00:48:11.000 No, I can see why.

00:48:12.000 This is how crazy people can get.

00:48:14.000 I love it.

00:48:15.000 Dude, but that's real.

00:48:17.000 This is the other one, chess boxing.

00:48:19.000 This is a legit one, too.

00:48:21.000 I think they box first, and then they play chess, right?

00:48:24.000 I think it goes back and forth.

00:48:27.000 Oh, they keep going back and forth?

00:48:29.000 That's a good move.

00:48:31.000 But seriously, if you get KO'd...

00:48:33.000 What if you get KO'd?

00:48:36.000 Do you win?

00:48:37.000 If you win at chess?

00:48:39.000 If you win at chess, but you get flatlined in 30 seconds...

00:48:46.000 That'd also be really fun if there were just people who were horrible at fighting but really good at chess.

00:48:50.000 Yeah, and they would just lay down.

00:48:52.000 Like, you win.

00:48:52.000 You win this part.

00:48:55.000 I'm just here for the chess.

00:48:57.000 I know you guys suck at chess.

00:48:58.000 Why do they have headphones on?

00:49:01.000 Focus.

00:49:01.000 You think so?

00:49:02.000 Yeah.

00:49:03.000 Really?

00:49:03.000 While they're playing chess?

00:49:05.000 Oh, like to drown out the crowd?

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 Oh, because people probably say, Night to Rock to!

00:49:11.000 It looks like the fight was first, yeah.

00:49:13.000 They were sweating.

00:49:15.000 By the way, Knight to Rook 2 probably isn't even a real move.

00:49:17.000 I just said some numbers and some letters.

00:49:20.000 I don't understand anything when it comes to playing chess out loud.

00:49:25.000 I was friends with this guy that was in prison.

00:49:28.000 And in prison, he learned how to play chess with his words.

00:49:32.000 You know, just in his head.

00:49:34.000 And he was at this place that we used to play pool at in White Plains, New York.

00:49:40.000 It's called Executive Billiards.

00:49:41.000 Like a classic old school pool hall.

00:49:43.000 I think I... I think it's done now.

00:49:45.000 I think they just closed it down or something like that.

00:49:49.000 Maybe they're renovating or something.

00:49:51.000 But this guy was playing with this kid who was like a world champion chess player.

00:49:57.000 And this kid would come by and play pool, this really young kid, like 15, 16 years old.

00:50:02.000 And the two of them are sitting there playing chess with each other.

00:50:05.000 Like just saying, you know, knight to queen to, you know, whatever the fuck it means.

00:50:09.000 And the guy would go, stand there, go, rook to six, blah, blah, blah.

00:50:13.000 And they would go back and forth like this.

00:50:15.000 I was like, what are you, like, I'm imagining what they're seeing.

00:50:18.000 Like, what are they seeing in their head?

00:50:19.000 Are they seeing, like, these things move around in three dimensions?

00:50:23.000 Are they looking at it as a grid?

00:50:24.000 How are they keeping track of where their fucking pieces are?

00:50:28.000 It was humbling.

00:50:29.000 Very humbling.

00:50:30.000 No, that's a strategic mind that I do not have.

00:50:33.000 Well, it was interesting to me, too, because as a very young man, I think I was like 23 or 24, I got to see how fucking smart this guy was, yet he still wound up in prison.

00:50:41.000 So I was like, okay.

00:50:43.000 Just because someone's a criminal doesn't mean they're stupid, and just because someone's smart doesn't mean they won't go to jail.

00:50:48.000 Absolutely.

00:50:48.000 Those are two things I saw talking to that guy.

00:50:52.000 He was in the middle of a game once.

00:50:55.000 And he was gambling with this guy.

00:50:57.000 And this is the guy from prison.

00:50:58.000 He was a super smart guy.

00:50:59.000 Very sharp guy.

00:51:00.000 And he was talking to the guy who was playing.

00:51:04.000 He said, dude, my wife told me if I don't get home by 10, she wants a divorce.

00:51:10.000 And 10 o'clock rolls around, and he yells out, I guess I'm getting a divorce!

00:51:15.000 It's like two hours later, and he just racks the balls.

00:51:18.000 He was there until like 2 o'clock in the morning.

00:51:19.000 But it was hilarious.

00:51:21.000 He said, as they started playing, my wife says, if I don't come home by 10, Those are weird times, man.

00:51:30.000 Growing up in a suburb of Boston, which was a really nice place.

00:51:36.000 I grew up in this place called Newton, a real quiet, quaint little community.

00:51:40.000 To go from that to these seedy pool halls of New York.

00:51:44.000 It was really weird for me.

00:51:46.000 Very, very educational.

00:51:47.000 I got to see all these, like, street hustlers.

00:51:50.000 I got to hang around with these guys, be friends with a lot of homeless guys.

00:51:53.000 Like, I had guys that were, like, pool players that wound up staying on my couch.

00:51:57.000 They had nowhere to go.

00:51:58.000 You know, a couple of them.

00:51:59.000 And one of them who became my best friend, this guy named Johnny.

00:52:03.000 But it was like, I'd be in all these weird places gambling.

00:52:08.000 Like, these weird, strange places with these guys who were, like, these semi-professional players.

00:52:14.000 Playing for hundreds, thousands of dollars.

00:52:16.000 And there'd be a big crowd of guys all gathered around.

00:52:19.000 It'd be one, two in the morning.

00:52:20.000 And I'd be thinking, these guys, these are older than me men.

00:52:23.000 Like, they don't have families.

00:52:24.000 Like, what do they do?

00:52:25.000 Like, this is a whole separate culture.

00:52:27.000 You know, and...

00:52:28.000 You were in the underworld.

00:52:29.000 Oh, it was in a lot of ways, man.

00:52:31.000 A lot of ways it was very underworld-y.

00:52:34.000 I was obsessed with it too, man.

00:52:35.000 I just wanted to play pool all the time.

00:52:37.000 I wasn't very good, but the guys I was around were very good.

00:52:40.000 I was around a lot of guys who were very, very good.

00:52:43.000 And you got to see the excitement of these...

00:52:46.000 It wasn't just excitement that everybody was gathered around.

00:52:51.000 And that they were playing this game for a lot of money.

00:52:53.000 It was also the excitement that we were bending the rules.

00:52:57.000 We're all just a bunch of men hanging out at this smoky place at one o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday.

00:53:04.000 And everyone is in it together.

00:53:06.000 We're all just in some way deranged.

00:53:10.000 Derelicts.

00:53:10.000 You know, some weirdos from society that can figure their way to be able to be at this place at 1 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday.

00:53:17.000 Like, why the fuck are you here, man?

00:53:19.000 Like, don't you have responsibilities?

00:53:20.000 No one there had to be responsibilities.

00:53:23.000 Everyone there was some sort of either a professional gambler or they had, like, one of the guys was a fireman who they would put them on these 24-hour shifts and then they would have a couple days off and just come to the pool hall and hang out, watch guys gamble.

00:53:37.000 I mean, it sounds similar to stand-up.

00:53:40.000 Oh, yeah, man.

00:53:41.000 Lens and misfits.

00:53:42.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I fit in there from stand-up.

00:53:46.000 You know, like, starting doing stand-up from 21 and then being around these pool hall guys when I was like 23 or 24. I was like, oh, you guys are like my fucked up friends that I like.

00:53:57.000 It's like, too many people out there Think that there's only one way to live your life.

00:54:04.000 There's a bunch of ways to live life.

00:54:07.000 There's a lot.

00:54:08.000 Yeah, there's a whole lot of worlds.

00:54:09.000 And everybody wants you to think that their way of living life is the way you should go about it.

00:54:13.000 It's real tricky because they all want...

00:54:35.000 Thank you very much.

00:54:37.000 People love to hear that.

00:54:38.000 Like, yeah, I'm right then.

00:54:39.000 I am living my life the right way.

00:54:41.000 There's no right way.

00:54:42.000 No, so many paths.

00:54:44.000 Be nice, be positive, work hard, and do what you want.

00:54:47.000 I would have never got here if I listened to people, you know?

00:54:50.000 It's impossible.

00:54:51.000 They don't even know what they're saying.

00:54:52.000 People give you advice when they're absolutely not sure of what they're saying.

00:54:55.000 They just practice on you.

00:54:57.000 Sometimes people give you advice and it's real.

00:54:59.000 Sometimes people have great advice.

00:55:01.000 Sometimes people really mean well.

00:55:02.000 And sometimes people are just practicing.

00:55:04.000 Yeah.

00:55:05.000 Well, in general, how can anyone give you advice that doesn't relate to something that happened to them, you know?

00:55:11.000 Like, they're only going by their life experience.

00:55:14.000 So, that was one thing I learned from Chris Jericho, another wrestler, where he was just like, you don't listen to unsuccessful people because...

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:44.000 And there's plenty of those people out there.

00:55:47.000 On both sides, there's plenty of people out there that will give you good advice and really care and want you to do well in your life, and there's plenty of people that don't want to see anybody doing any better than them, and they're not doing that well.

00:55:59.000 There's a lot of that.

00:56:00.000 There's a lot of that.

00:56:01.000 That's a sickness that we've got to forgive people for, because I had it when I was a young man, for sure.

00:56:07.000 And I think many of us struggle with it.

00:56:09.000 It's one of the things that made me realize that I was looking at stand-up the wrong way in terms of other people's stand-up.

00:56:15.000 I was looking at other people's stand-up as a comparison to mine.

00:56:19.000 I was judging, like, who's the best?

00:56:21.000 Who's doing better?

00:56:22.000 Who's this?

00:56:22.000 Who's that?

00:56:22.000 And then I realized, like, that is so stupid.

00:56:25.000 Like, I should just be a fan of comedy and do comedy.

00:56:29.000 And so I shifted the way I thought about it.

00:56:32.000 So instead of, like, when I would see someone killing, I'd be like, God, I wish I thought of that bit.

00:56:36.000 Or, God, he's doing so good.

00:56:37.000 Shit, now I have to follow him.

00:56:39.000 Instead...

00:56:41.000 Somewhere along the line, I got to a place where you're like, this is great.

00:56:44.000 This is funny.

00:56:46.000 Like, I love the fact that this guy's funny.

00:56:48.000 Now I can become a fan of comedy again.

00:56:49.000 Yeah.

00:56:50.000 Instead of, like, being wrapped up in my own creation of it and producing my own stuff.

00:56:54.000 Yeah.

00:56:55.000 Well, I always...

00:56:56.000 Not that I've always...

00:56:57.000 I've been on a similar journey.

00:56:58.000 I was very competitive, not but maybe a year or two ago.

00:57:02.000 And getting in a relationship that I'm in now has been very helpful because she's a big fan of comedy.

00:57:07.000 And she always wants to watch comedy.

00:57:09.000 And so then I'm always like...

00:57:10.000 Okay, I have to just not be—I just have to enjoy these people, too, because you're right.

00:57:15.000 They're great.

00:57:18.000 I had to learn, like, I don't want everybody to be doing the comedy that I'm doing, or I'm not special.

00:57:23.000 I want to see all these different types of styles.

00:57:25.000 I think, I mean, the fact that me and you are in this room together and we both respect each other's comedy and our comedy's worlds apart and different, you know?

00:57:34.000 Just two completely different styles, but we both respect each other because we both know that we're authentic in what we do, you know?

00:57:42.000 If I were to try to be like you, that would make no sense.

00:57:47.000 And if I was trying to be like you, people would go, what's going on, man?

00:57:51.000 What are you doing up there?

00:57:52.000 Joe smoked too much.

00:57:53.000 You're a different dude.

00:57:55.000 You need to slow down, man.

00:57:57.000 He's got a lot calmer.

00:57:59.000 You want like that, what is that stuff?

00:58:00.000 Kratom?

00:58:01.000 Kratom shit?

00:58:04.000 A lot of people are on that kratom.

00:58:05.000 No, I respect the fuck out of you, man, and I respect your process.

00:58:09.000 You know, you're, like, we were talking about it as an art form, as this structure-based, you know, like, you structure things.

00:58:18.000 You know how to set things up.

00:58:19.000 It's so important, and we don't have anyone to tell us how to do it.

00:58:24.000 We have to kind of, like, learn from each other and learn from the greats of the past that we can...

00:58:29.000 We could watch, but in a lot of ways, it's sort of an undocumented art form in terms of the creation of the art form.

00:58:37.000 And part of the problem is that everybody has their own way of doing it.

00:58:40.000 That's why I asked you, do you write down?

00:58:43.000 Do you type?

00:58:45.000 Some of the best just have ideas, and they don't write shit.

00:58:48.000 And then they go on stage a lot, and then they work those ideas out when they're on stage, and they work those ideas out in their head, and they keep everything in their head.

00:58:55.000 There's a lot of guys who are really great who don't write.

00:58:59.000 They just write in the moment.

00:59:00.000 They write on stage and they have ideas and they flesh them out and they continue to work on them and they just stay active.

00:59:06.000 And they never have to actually sit and write.

00:59:08.000 And they're some of the best.

00:59:09.000 And then there's guys who write every day and they're some of the best.

00:59:12.000 You know, it's like, fuck, man.

00:59:13.000 I don't think there's the right way to do it.

00:59:15.000 I think you just have to care and you have to be trying to get better.

00:59:19.000 Yes.

00:59:20.000 100%.

00:59:21.000 100%.

00:59:21.000 It's got to be effort and not going back and like what I'm trying to do now is...

00:59:27.000 It's be a little bit more picky because I did my special and then I go write a joke and I go, oh, you're basically doing an extension of what you've already written.

00:59:36.000 Don't do that.

00:59:37.000 Let's try something new.

00:59:40.000 If you don't have it, let's just go up there and relax a bit.

00:59:44.000 Live life a little bit.

00:59:45.000 Most of my material is personal anyway.

00:59:48.000 I don't really do a lot of topical.

00:59:50.000 So for me to generate material, I usually have to be active in life and have things happen to me.

00:59:56.000 Yes, yes, yeah.

00:59:58.000 I think it's really important to be around a lot of other people that are doing it really well, too.

01:00:06.000 You know, one of the things I really get out of L.A. is on any given night I can go to a store and watch someone murder, you know, like all the time.

01:00:14.000 I mean, like not one person, like six, seven, eight people killing in their own way.

01:00:18.000 And you just around that, you just get this like extra juice out of that place, man.

01:00:23.000 You know, you get extra juice out of LA, out of the store, a lot of times out of the improv.

01:00:28.000 It's like, there's just, there's so many of us here.

01:00:30.000 It's a crazy hive of comedians.

01:00:32.000 If you really stop and think about it, you know?

01:00:35.000 I mean, Gene, Diaz and Burr and, you know, Segura's here.

01:00:41.000 You know, You're Here, Delia.

01:00:44.000 I mean, it's just fucking every week that place is, Ma, Maren's here.

01:00:48.000 It's like, Theo Vaughn's here.

01:00:50.000 It's chaos.

01:00:53.000 Yeah.

01:00:53.000 Like, holy shit!

01:00:55.000 You might get a drop in from Chappelle.

01:00:57.000 All the time.

01:00:58.000 Yeah.

01:00:58.000 All the time.

01:00:59.000 Yeah.

01:00:59.000 I mean, it's one of the weirdest places ever in terms of a hive of comedy.

01:01:05.000 We're so lucky to be in that hive, man.

01:01:07.000 To be watching all this shit go down in 2019. Yeah.

01:01:11.000 This is an epic time for stand-up.

01:01:14.000 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:01:15.000 I don't like to bring it up all the time, but when something like Brody's passing happens, I have to go like, oh yeah, stop being so in the rat race and so competitive all the time and worried about what you're making and realize that the true gift is the time that you get to spend more.

01:01:32.000 With these truly unique minds.

01:01:35.000 You know, the people who don't think like me at all.

01:01:38.000 People who, like you say, I see jokes every day where I go, oh, fuck, like, how, like, that was in the air for anyone.

01:01:46.000 Yes, yes, yes!

01:01:48.000 That's the weirdest feeling, right?

01:01:49.000 When you're like, fuck, how did I miss that?

01:01:52.000 God damn it.

01:01:54.000 Tony Hitchcliffe has a joke right now.

01:01:55.000 I don't want to give it away, but it's one of those where he does it and I go, God, I didn't miss that.

01:02:02.000 So good.

01:02:03.000 Santino's got this bit about candles that I'm like, ah, Santino.

01:02:07.000 I worked with him all weekend.

01:02:08.000 I was in Austin with him.

01:02:10.000 He's great.

01:02:10.000 I love him.

01:02:11.000 I took George Perez, too.

01:02:13.000 George Perez murdered in Austin.

01:02:16.000 Yeah, I did Cap City Comedy Club.

01:02:17.000 I wanted to go do the comedy club for a goof.

01:02:19.000 I need to do more comedy clubs.

01:02:22.000 It's just such a different thing.

01:02:23.000 Such a rich comic.

01:02:25.000 Do a club as a goof.

01:02:30.000 Well, it's like...

01:02:32.000 You make a decision whether you want to make a lot of money or have a lot of fun.

01:02:35.000 Yeah.

01:02:35.000 True.

01:02:36.000 Truly.

01:02:37.000 Yeah.

01:02:38.000 And it's not that it's not a lot of money to work at a club.

01:02:40.000 It's great money.

01:02:41.000 It's not bad.

01:02:42.000 But it's a different choice.

01:02:44.000 It's like the choice of right now, for me, the choice is about just trying to make my shit make more sense and more reps in front of different people and more feels, more different vibes.

01:02:55.000 Yeah.

01:02:55.000 Every time you go on stage, you're in a different place.

01:02:57.000 Audience is different.

01:02:59.000 Introduce yourself to new people.

01:03:00.000 That's what I'm trying to do.

01:03:01.000 I'm getting ready to go out on a tour and I specifically was asking my people.

01:03:06.000 I was like, I want to go to Huntsville, Alabama.

01:03:09.000 I want to go to these places that you don't expect to see me and I want to see A, because I think it'd be cool to just bring in people who are like, hey, why are you here?

01:03:18.000 And I want to see That's why I'm going to Australia.

01:03:21.000 I just want to make my comedy travel and I'll learn.

01:03:24.000 I'll learn how to...

01:03:25.000 I'm sure I'll go in there and I'll say something that's too American and I'll be like, oh, okay.

01:03:30.000 And then it'll just inform my writing and I'll start writing more globally and those are the type of things I'm looking for now.

01:03:38.000 They're fantastic.

01:03:39.000 Australia's great.

01:03:40.000 They're like alternative Americans.

01:03:43.000 I say that in a good way.

01:03:45.000 And they're like a degree nicer than Canadians.

01:03:49.000 It's like you get Canadians, where I say there's 20% less douchebags in Canada than there is in the United States.

01:03:55.000 You can always find bad people everywhere.

01:03:57.000 But then you've got people from Australia, I think they take that another 10%.

01:04:01.000 It's like one of the nicest people ever.

01:04:03.000 They're so nice.

01:04:04.000 Oh, I can't wait.

01:04:04.000 They're fucking great, man.

01:04:06.000 Their shows over there are amazing.

01:04:09.000 And they know most of our shit.

01:04:13.000 They understand most references and things that we'll talk about.

01:04:17.000 But if you knew a few about them, it would probably help them relate to you.

01:04:21.000 It's a weird culture.

01:04:22.000 It's a place that I would totally live.

01:04:24.000 If I didn't live here, if I didn't live in America, or I didn't live in Canada.

01:04:28.000 I don't want to go anywhere.

01:04:29.000 I'm not saying I want to leave America.

01:04:30.000 But I said, if I did.

01:04:32.000 Yeah, but you travel and you find a place.

01:04:34.000 This is fun to visit.

01:04:36.000 And then you find those places.

01:04:37.000 To me, Italy is nice to visit, but I could never live here.

01:04:41.000 But then I go to Amsterdam and I'm like, I could live here.

01:04:43.000 This is like Portland.

01:04:44.000 This is great.

01:04:45.000 Like Portland.

01:04:46.000 Yeah, Portland sort of fashioned itself after that when it became legal to have weed there too, right?

01:04:51.000 Mm-hmm.

01:04:52.000 A lot of those places were comparing themselves to Amsterdam way back in the day.

01:04:56.000 It's funny.

01:04:57.000 Amsterdam was a place where people would actually go there to get high.

01:05:00.000 It's like the very first high destination.

01:05:03.000 People would try, hey bro, we're going to go to Amsterdam.

01:05:05.000 Get high.

01:05:06.000 Yeah.

01:05:07.000 I like going just for the vibe of, like we were talking about earlier, of no stigma.

01:05:13.000 There's no, like, someone, if, you know, I drop something on the ground or whatever, the people, oh, you stoner.

01:05:18.000 Like, there's nothing like that in Amsterdam, and I love that feeling.

01:05:22.000 It's a dumb thing here that's just a remnant of propaganda and dumb stoners that are real people.

01:05:30.000 You know, I mean, there's always that time where you run into someone who's too high and you're like, oh man, you're just fucking up the whole stereotype, man.

01:05:37.000 You're perpetrating, sir.

01:05:39.000 Yeah.

01:05:40.000 Oh, you got to smoke the bowl, now there's snot coming out of your nose.

01:05:45.000 There was certain people that just get too high.

01:05:47.000 They just get too high.

01:05:48.000 Can't handle it.

01:05:49.000 They just get too weirded out by life and you're like, bro, slow down.

01:05:52.000 Well, right now you're okay.

01:05:53.000 Right now everybody's okay.

01:05:56.000 Yeah, the end is horrible for everyone and anyone, but right now you're okay.

01:06:00.000 So if you can't be happy now when you're okay, and you're worried about the times when you're not going to be okay, that is madness.

01:06:06.000 All right?

01:06:07.000 So you've got to pull yourself out of madness and be in the moment.

01:06:10.000 In the moment, everything's fine.

01:06:11.000 But that's a tight wire walk when you're high as fuck, right?

01:06:14.000 Tight wire walk when you're sober.

01:06:16.000 Yeah, it is.

01:06:18.000 It is.

01:06:20.000 So did you see that they let that dude off, the Empire guy?

01:06:22.000 Yeah, I did see that.

01:06:24.000 They let him slide.

01:06:24.000 I love it.

01:06:26.000 It makes it so exciting for me.

01:06:28.000 I've been...

01:06:29.000 I've been...

01:06:30.000 I've been...

01:06:30.000 I've been walking in the last couple of days telling my girlfriend, I go, the craziest thing would be if they say he's not guilty because then you have to go, what happened?

01:06:39.000 What happened?

01:06:41.000 What happened?

01:06:41.000 Did he bribe somebody or did some new evidence come forth that they had a bad investigation?

01:06:47.000 Did the two guys that were his witnesses, did they get caught lying about something else?

01:06:52.000 You know, the witnesses against them, they might have caught them lying about something else and they don't know what to do and they have to abandon the case because then they obviously know that these guys lied about something.

01:07:01.000 Who the fuck knows, man?

01:07:02.000 I don't understand that.

01:07:03.000 I can make a guess.

01:07:04.000 They won't be educated.

01:07:06.000 But just knowing Chicago in general, I mean, my guess is maybe the way they were going after the investigation wasn't really above board.

01:07:14.000 And if he's just like, I'm not guilty, and they have to actually go in and present this evidence, they don't have...

01:07:22.000 They don't have what they really need to have.

01:07:25.000 I don't think anyone's going around like...

01:07:28.000 Okay, yeah.

01:07:30.000 Well, then those two Nigerian MAGA guys did attack them.

01:07:34.000 Nigerian MAGA guys.

01:07:36.000 It's so great.

01:07:37.000 Also, they sealed the case.

01:07:40.000 So fun.

01:07:41.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:07:42.000 Yeah, if you wanted a good twist...

01:07:45.000 You know, in the movie.

01:07:46.000 Like, this is a crazy scene in the movie where crazy music is playing, and you see Jussie Smollett come out in slow motion and put his sunglasses on and get into the limo.

01:07:56.000 He's here, not guilty!

01:07:57.000 And the music...

01:07:57.000 And he comes out in slow motion and gets in the limo, and then dudes are wearing ski masks, and people are pulling on...

01:08:06.000 It's like...

01:08:07.000 Like, one ongoing story in one of those Tarantino movies where you've got four stories like Pulp Fiction battling it out.

01:08:14.000 He's one of them.

01:08:15.000 Where he gets not guilty and he becomes a big twist because you feel like you find out there's some behind-the-scenes shenanigans and shit that led to this.

01:08:21.000 Yeah, because what happens?

01:08:23.000 People are like, oh, he's never going to work again.

01:08:24.000 But now, not guilty.

01:08:25.000 So does he get his own show?

01:08:27.000 That's a good question.

01:08:28.000 What happens?

01:08:28.000 Well, the other thing is for the longest time, Chicago has been thought to be a place that is like a...

01:08:38.000 You know, like, things can happen there.

01:08:41.000 You can make shit happen.

01:08:42.000 Right?

01:08:43.000 Is that a fair way to say it?

01:08:44.000 I love Chicago.

01:08:45.000 I don't want to be disparaging.

01:08:47.000 But there's been some cases of corruption.

01:08:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:50.000 No, I mean, that's where I was raised.

01:08:52.000 It's a very corrupt place.

01:08:53.000 Most of our mayors and stuff go to jail.

01:08:58.000 So I don't think I'm being unfair.

01:09:00.000 Yeah.

01:09:01.000 There was a scene in a movie.

01:09:04.000 What was the scene in the movie?

01:09:05.000 Where someone said, Chicago is the most corrupt big city.

01:09:08.000 Right.

01:09:10.000 Illinois 3rd, most corrupt state in the country.

01:09:13.000 Oh, we got deep mafia ties.

01:09:15.000 Yeah, that's great.

01:09:15.000 Published February 15th.

01:09:17.000 This is recent.

01:09:18.000 Oh, my goodness.

01:09:21.000 Yeah.

01:09:23.000 I don't know, man.

01:09:25.000 I don't know about Chicago.

01:09:26.000 I'd be talking out of my ass.

01:09:27.000 You know.

01:09:28.000 I know a little bit.

01:09:28.000 Tell me what it's like.

01:09:29.000 It's very cold.

01:09:31.000 It's very corrupt.

01:09:32.000 Oh, it's fucked, right?

01:09:33.000 Then sometimes it's very hot.

01:09:34.000 Right.

01:09:35.000 It's either usually too cold and shooty, or very hot and shooty, and then spring is delightful.

01:09:43.000 Shooty!

01:09:45.000 That's the best verb ever.

01:09:47.000 Shooty?

01:09:48.000 Too shooty?

01:09:49.000 There's a little too shooty over there.

01:09:51.000 Dude, that's fucking hilarious.

01:09:52.000 Shooty.

01:09:53.000 Yeah, it's way, way, way, way, way too shooty, right?

01:09:57.000 And do you think that people, this is my opinion, I want to know if you agree, I think that people in colder areas, like Detroit, in Boston, Chicago, like there are different kind of people.

01:10:08.000 There are hardier people than people that grow up, like in San Diego, no disrespect San Diego, I'm sure a lot of you are hard as fuck.

01:10:16.000 But there's like a difference between people that have to shovel snow and deal with that fucking winter and be holed up and really be fucking freezing.

01:10:23.000 Like when you come in from outside, you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck.

01:10:25.000 And you appreciate the warmth of a nice restaurant or something like that when you walk in from out of the cold.

01:10:31.000 Yeah.

01:10:31.000 You're shoveling snow.

01:10:33.000 It's windy as hell.

01:10:34.000 And then you got like very aggressive homeless people there.

01:10:38.000 Yeah.

01:10:38.000 So you're going to...

01:10:39.000 Yeah, you're going to...

01:10:40.000 We get tougher.

01:10:41.000 I had to unprogram that for myself when I moved from Chicago to Oregon.

01:10:45.000 Because when I was a teen, it was always like...

01:10:48.000 Even my walking.

01:10:49.000 My walking was too slow for Oregon because I would walk and I'd take a look back.

01:10:53.000 Because that's how my mom taught me to walk.

01:10:55.000 In Chicago, make sure nobody's sneaking up on you.

01:10:58.000 And in Oregon, they didn't have that concern.

01:11:02.000 Yeah.

01:11:03.000 Fuck.

01:11:04.000 That's a weird way for a kid to grow up, too, man.

01:11:07.000 It is.

01:11:07.000 Always be worrying about danger.

01:11:11.000 One of the stranger things about that is that it's very hard for people to get over that hump.

01:11:17.000 It's very hard for people to just calm down after they've been in a bad environment for a long time.

01:11:22.000 You get wired a certain way.

01:11:25.000 And even though you're in a new place now and everything's calm, you're still looking out.

01:11:28.000 You're still thinking, this shit could go sideways.

01:11:31.000 You've seen people go sideways.

01:11:33.000 Yeah.

01:11:34.000 That's why it's hard to be in a relationship with me.

01:11:41.000 There's something I miss about when it was snowing and you would go outside and it would be silent.

01:11:46.000 You wouldn't hear anything.

01:11:48.000 It was one of some of my favorite times living in Boston, or Newton, where I was.

01:11:52.000 I lived right across the street from the Charles River.

01:11:55.000 And there was this big grassy area in front of my house.

01:11:58.000 And you'd just look at all the white.

01:12:00.000 It would just be all thick white snow, and it muffled everything.

01:12:04.000 It was sound insulation for everything.

01:12:07.000 You didn't hear shit.

01:12:08.000 You know that feeling, Jamie?

01:12:09.000 You grew up in Columbus.

01:12:10.000 You know when you get a big snowstorm?

01:12:12.000 It's quiet.

01:12:13.000 It's just like sound deadening everywhere.

01:12:16.000 There's no hard edges anymore.

01:12:18.000 Everything is covered with snow.

01:12:20.000 And it's just quiet.

01:12:22.000 It feels good.

01:12:23.000 It would feel good.

01:12:25.000 You know, it would feel like, yeah, this is nice.

01:12:27.000 As long as you have food, as long as you know it's going to go away, as long as the plows are still running, as long as you have either firewood or a backup generator or something, sometimes that electricity cuts out.

01:12:38.000 And then everyone gets scared, noddles up together.

01:12:41.000 I remember that episode of I Love Lucy.

01:12:44.000 Did you ever have that happen?

01:12:46.000 Yeah.

01:12:47.000 That was terrifying.

01:12:48.000 I did too.

01:12:49.000 Everybody does if you live in a place where it snows.

01:12:51.000 At some point in time, the power goes out.

01:12:53.000 I remember these guys in Toronto were telling me their power went out for two weeks, and it was fucking crazy cold, like in the zeros and below zero.

01:13:02.000 And they were doomed.

01:13:04.000 I mean, there was ice everywhere and ice had made the power lines fall down.

01:13:07.000 They had, you know, like frozen rain had come and covered everything with ice and things were breaking off and power was out and like blocks and blocks and blocks.

01:13:15.000 And all these people in fucking the dead of winter in a city were in danger.

01:13:21.000 Scary, scary shit, man.

01:13:23.000 Because you don't even have any firewood.

01:13:24.000 You don't have a place to burn it.

01:13:26.000 You're in a goddamn apartment building.

01:13:27.000 What are you going to do?

01:13:28.000 Everybody's fucking freezing.

01:13:30.000 No one's going to help you.

01:13:31.000 The phone doesn't work.

01:13:32.000 There's no fucking power.

01:13:34.000 This is stuff you think about a lot, though, right?

01:13:36.000 Because you always talk about that, like, because we're so coddled with, you know, our phones.

01:13:40.000 I think about the thin veneer of civilization.

01:13:42.000 That's what I think about.

01:13:44.000 And what I think about it more than anything is from natural disasters.

01:13:48.000 That's what I think about.

01:13:49.000 I think about the potential for natural disasters.

01:13:54.000 It can happen at any moment.

01:13:56.000 And most people have no preparation for it whatsoever.

01:13:59.000 They have no idea what they would do.

01:14:02.000 It just seems that if you're paying attention to history at all, you know that it happens all the time.

01:14:07.000 It almost just happened.

01:14:09.000 That one that you pulled up the other day that happened in December, some asteroid that blew up in our atmosphere that had five times the power of Hiroshima.

01:14:20.000 Ten times.

01:14:21.000 Ten times the power of Hiroshima blows up in our atmosphere.

01:14:26.000 Motherfucker, man.

01:14:27.000 If that hits, that hits Chicago right in the face, that can happen.

01:14:31.000 I mean, it's happened all over the world before.

01:14:34.000 There's a total possibility that we can get hit with a chunk of iron the size of a fucking ocean liner and just slams into a city and nukes that city.

01:14:44.000 That shit happens.

01:14:45.000 I think of that.

01:14:47.000 Does it bother you or does it make you more free?

01:14:49.000 No.

01:14:52.000 I would lie to you and say it makes me more free.

01:14:56.000 I don't think that's true, though.

01:14:58.000 I think it definitely makes me sound paranoid, but I've thought about that a lot, and I'm just being accurate.

01:15:05.000 But also, I'm pretty present.

01:15:07.000 You can be both.

01:15:08.000 Yes.

01:15:09.000 I try to be pretty present.

01:15:10.000 I try to be pretty here, you know, as much as I can.

01:15:13.000 And so, if you're here, like, if you're present and you're aware of all these things, it's just a slippery grip on present.

01:15:22.000 But you can still be present.

01:15:23.000 And we're like, this ain't gonna last.

01:15:25.000 This whole thing ain't gonna last.

01:15:27.000 These people are building buildings right next to the goddamn ocean.

01:15:29.000 The ocean's rising.

01:15:31.000 You know, there's a real possibility that rocks are gonna slam into this motherfucker any day now.

01:15:36.000 Or a hundred years from now.

01:15:37.000 Or five years from now.

01:15:38.000 Nobody knows.

01:15:39.000 But one day it's gonna happen.

01:15:41.000 And it's gonna be...

01:15:42.000 Boom!

01:15:44.000 And the fucking earth is gonna ring for a million years.

01:15:48.000 That's what happens.

01:15:50.000 Nice.

01:15:51.000 I mean, I'm okay with that.

01:15:53.000 Because it's out of my control in that regard.

01:15:55.000 It's a good way to look at it.

01:15:57.000 But it's also seems like horseshit.

01:16:00.000 Because this world seems very permanent.

01:16:02.000 This moment seems very permanent.

01:16:04.000 Life seems very real.

01:16:05.000 It's been real my whole life.

01:16:07.000 Every day I get up, life is real.

01:16:10.000 I don't buy...

01:16:11.000 But that's the thing.

01:16:12.000 This too shall pass, right?

01:16:14.000 You always know nothing is true.

01:16:16.000 I think that's one of the biggest life lessons I had by having a not most stable childhood of moving around a lot and bouncing around to different schools and different states where I learned very quickly that things aren't permanent and I learned also that things are very relative to whatever area you are.

01:16:35.000 That's what really helped me I think what helps my voice as a comedian now is that I've learned very young that what's cool is very relative to wherever you are.

01:16:45.000 The things that were cool in Chicago, people weren't on in Oregon.

01:16:49.000 Things that were cool in Oregon were like Greece.

01:16:52.000 That would have gotten me beat up in Chicago.

01:16:54.000 So I learned very quickly to just be like, oh man, just...

01:16:58.000 Enjoy what I do and just like what I'm about.

01:17:02.000 It's really helped my life be more peaceful in that way.

01:17:06.000 And that's why I'm a 36-year-old man who owns a shit ton of wrestling action figures.

01:17:13.000 Yeah, half of the life is trying to find the balance between being satisfied and being motivated.

01:17:20.000 And being happy and just being, again, just being present.

01:17:24.000 Just finding out what you actually enjoy.

01:17:28.000 Just doing it.

01:17:29.000 Just do that thing.

01:17:31.000 For you, it's pro-wrestling action figures.

01:17:34.000 And that's where it's about, because you think that thing would be like comedy, but then you also learn that you can overdose on that.

01:17:41.000 You can be over...

01:17:42.000 Because that's the thing I learned...

01:17:45.000 When I started headlining, and then you hear these stories when I was younger, like when Greg Giraldo died, or Patrice died, and I just get to these parts where I'm like, man, that's like...

01:17:56.000 And obviously, all due respect to them, but I was like, I don't want to die on the road.

01:18:02.000 That's not how I want to live my life.

01:18:05.000 I don't want to be found in some hotel somewhere.

01:18:07.000 I want my family around me.

01:18:09.000 I want people who care about me.

01:18:11.000 And that really made me be like, okay, I have to think about more than just each individual set.

01:18:19.000 I have to start thinking about, what do I want to give back?

01:18:21.000 What do I want to do bigger than that?

01:18:24.000 What do I want to do if...

01:18:27.000 I just want to do the road for fun.

01:18:29.000 If I just want to, like, if I want to move into something else, my son's 16, he's going to be going, hopefully, he'll be going to college soon, and I want to be, like, I want to be able to spend more time with him, you know?

01:18:39.000 Yeah, your life as a comic, you know, oftentimes, Find that guys go through these stages and then the first stage kind of feel like an imposter feel like a fraud You know you feel like like I'm not really that good at this and then you you get to a stage where you feel like a professional When you feel your professional then you start to take put more responsibility On you on your work,

01:19:03.000 you know for me, I think that's right around when it happened with me Somewhere around ten years in I decided like hey, I gotta I gotta treat this like I'm an actual professional and stop fucking off and I fucked off a lot.

01:19:15.000 I went through periods of years where I didn't write anything, where I was really lazy and I had the same sex.

01:19:20.000 I was doing TV show shit, sitcom stuff, and I just wasn't working on the act at all.

01:19:26.000 But it's just such a more energized time right now in comedy.

01:19:32.000 Guys like Santino, we were talking about all these guys that are coming up.

01:19:37.000 Having all this good comedy around you, it's almost like...

01:19:42.000 It raises everybody's vibration.

01:19:45.000 The whole community.

01:19:47.000 The better everybody gets, instead of how everybody used to approach it, where everybody was competing against each other, and then you have weird feelings when you're around each other, now everything's a different kind of vibe.

01:19:58.000 Yeah, it's a healthy competition.

01:20:02.000 And one thing I'm really liking is a change of the presentation of people being more cognizant of like, I want to present like just dressing up more, you know, looking nicer, not necessarily trying to like,

01:20:19.000 suit up or anything.

01:20:20.000 But I see more and more posters and more and more things where people are clearly putting work into their graphic design and their art.

01:20:27.000 And I don't want to speak for female comedians at all, but I'm just noticing a trend more where women are being...

01:20:36.000 Because it used to be either like, I am the hot girl.

01:20:39.000 Or like, I'm just a dude like you.

01:20:41.000 Don't worry.

01:20:42.000 I might be hot, but you wouldn't know because I'm wearing a hoodie.

01:20:45.000 And now there's just more of these women being like, I'm just me.

01:20:48.000 And so I might be hot, but that's not a part of this.

01:20:52.000 And I see that a lot now.

01:20:53.000 But they'll still go out there and they'll put out their posters where they're in a bikini or whatever.

01:20:58.000 Because it's like, why wouldn't you?

01:21:00.000 Just like when I go and I wear a suit.

01:21:03.000 But I love seeing people...

01:21:06.000 Take charge of that, of what they're presenting.

01:21:10.000 That's how I used to dress all the time, which is wear a big purple hoodie or whatever.

01:21:14.000 But now I'm more like, I want to look more like a star.

01:21:19.000 Well, there's definitely something to that.

01:21:21.000 I remember the Martin Lawrence days when he was on top and he'd wear those crazy outfits on stage or Eddie Murphy in Raw where he'd wear this crazy leather jumpsuit.

01:21:31.000 He put a lot of effort into what he was going to wear.

01:21:34.000 Delirious, that was another one.

01:21:35.000 Eddie Murphy had these crazy costumes that you could only wear if you were doing stand-up in a lot of ways.

01:21:41.000 I mean, it was the ultimate Eddie Murphy costume.

01:21:44.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:21:45.000 Like, if you really think about, like, him.

01:21:47.000 Sure, listen to Red Jacket.

01:21:48.000 Yeah.

01:21:48.000 Like, with Kinnison, what do you picture?

01:21:50.000 You picture the beret, you picture the overcoat, you picture the white sneakers.

01:21:54.000 Like, it was his crazy outfit.

01:21:55.000 He had, like, kind of a...

01:21:56.000 Like, you kind of expected that look from him.

01:21:59.000 But with Eddie Murphy's, Eddie Murphy was like...

01:22:01.000 You know, leather.

01:22:03.000 Like, colored leather.

01:22:05.000 And, you know, it was very powerful.

01:22:06.000 It was very bold.

01:22:08.000 Which was like his comedy.

01:22:09.000 You know?

01:22:10.000 It was like letting you know, like, this is a special night.

01:22:12.000 This is a night.

01:22:13.000 He doesn't dress like this every day.

01:22:14.000 Yeah.

01:22:15.000 This is, yeah.

01:22:16.000 He's on stage doing a show like that.

01:22:18.000 Yeah, I like it when people think about the full presentation.

01:22:23.000 I've been even doing that with the playlist that the club plays before my show.

01:22:27.000 I've been setting that up now because I want a vibe of what we're coming into.

01:22:33.000 Mostly fish?

01:22:33.000 Yeah.

01:22:34.000 Dude, I got to piss so bad.

01:22:36.000 So, I want to keep going, though.

01:22:37.000 I don't want to stop.

01:22:38.000 So, I just did two podcasts in a row and I drank too much coffee.

01:22:41.000 So, Jamie, why don't you guys talk about something you have in common?

01:22:44.000 All right.

01:22:44.000 Okay.

01:22:44.000 What do you guys have in common?

01:22:45.000 Can I smoke some more pot?

01:22:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:46.000 Oh, for sure, bro.

01:22:47.000 Here, have a freshie.

01:22:49.000 Thank you.

01:22:50.000 Have an extra one for the road, too, sir.

01:22:51.000 Oh, thank you, sir.

01:22:53.000 You're welcome.

01:22:53.000 I'll be right back.

01:22:54.000 I just gotta pee.

01:22:54.000 Talk amongst yourselves.

01:22:55.000 Okay.

01:22:56.000 Nice!

01:22:57.000 Welcome to the Ron Funches Experience.

01:22:59.000 Ron, you have your own podcast too, right?

01:23:00.000 I do!

01:23:01.000 It's called Getting Better with Ron Funches.

01:23:05.000 I talk to people who I admire or people who I want to learn from, people who have accomplished things I want to accomplish or have gotten better in some form in their life and I ask them about it and about setting goals and stuff.

01:23:21.000 Do you just set it up that way, like as a conversation?

01:23:23.000 Or do you put more thought into, like, I want to ask them these kind of questions and get these kinds of things answered?

01:23:28.000 I mean, there's some set questions.

01:23:30.000 I usually just ask people about their goals, and I ask them about some advice to give me.

01:23:37.000 But other than that, it's usually just some type of free-form conversation.

01:23:40.000 It's just...

01:23:41.000 You know, it's funny sometimes.

01:23:43.000 But for the most part, it's just like...

01:23:46.000 The reason why I wanted to do it is because I was a big fan of, like, Patton Oswalt's website, The Spew, and stuff like that when he had that.

01:23:55.000 And I noticed, like, when I was on Twitter, there had been a shift from people who were, like...

01:24:01.000 Used to be very supportive of me, especially when I was fatter and stuff.

01:24:04.000 And then it became this thing of, like...

01:24:06.000 Anytime I would try to post something positive, people would be like, well, why the fuck do you, who cares?

01:24:12.000 You have money and you just, you know, and I just want to be like, no, I'm not on a different side of the fence because I did these things.

01:24:19.000 I'm like over here being like, anybody can fucking do it if my dumb ass did it, you know?

01:24:24.000 So it just became more about, to me, talent and success is more like this ocean that we can all drink from, and it's about how did this person get to that ocean.

01:24:37.000 I don't think there's people who are talented and untalented.

01:24:39.000 Finding out their path to where they are now.

01:24:42.000 And what keeps them motivated now?

01:24:45.000 Once people have some success, what keeps you going?

01:24:49.000 There's a question I would like to know from Joe.

01:24:52.000 He just walked back in, so maybe we can find out.

01:24:57.000 Hit me with a question.

01:24:58.000 What keeps you motivated?

01:24:59.000 You're so successful.

01:25:00.000 You got a lot of money.

01:25:02.000 You're doing okay.

01:25:03.000 You're UFC. You accomplished so many things.

01:25:06.000 So what makes you go to the store on a Tuesday night?

01:25:10.000 To work on stand-up.

01:25:12.000 I don't...

01:25:14.000 Look, when you get successful at something, the best thing that it does is alleviate stress.

01:25:20.000 But it doesn't change the motivation.

01:25:22.000 The motivation is always to create something that I like, that I can be proud of, that the people enjoy most importantly.

01:25:29.000 There's a bunch of people that watch my stand-up.

01:25:31.000 I gotta work at it.

01:25:32.000 I don't want to be an asshole.

01:25:34.000 I don't want to be that guy that you come to see my show and you go, ugh.

01:25:37.000 He didn't prepare.

01:25:38.000 He didn't care.

01:25:39.000 He didn't try.

01:25:41.000 You know?

01:25:41.000 Thank you.

01:25:42.000 I'm not gonna be that.

01:25:43.000 So, look, we all have bad sets.

01:25:46.000 I'll have bad sets.

01:25:46.000 I'll try my best, though.

01:25:48.000 I fucking try my best.

01:25:49.000 And I'm gonna keep trying my best.

01:25:52.000 Because I think if I don't, I leave doubt in my own head that shouldn't be there.

01:26:00.000 If I do my best and it just doesn't work, I have to figure out what was wrong.

01:26:07.000 But if I don't do my best...

01:26:09.000 It doesn't work.

01:26:10.000 You feel like shit.

01:26:11.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:26:13.000 But I think that...

01:26:14.000 I still feel like shit even if it doesn't work and I did my best.

01:26:17.000 You feel like a failure.

01:26:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:20.000 I feel like a failure rather than a loser.

01:26:22.000 Yeah.

01:26:22.000 But I think when I was younger and doing comedy in my 20s, it might have just been a Portland thing.

01:26:29.000 There was always kind of this vibe of like...

01:26:32.000 I didn't try my best.

01:26:33.000 If I tried my best, I would have crushed it.

01:26:36.000 But I didn't try my best, so I didn't really fail.

01:26:39.000 Yeah, that's a trap that a lot of comics get into when they are in front of a small crowd.

01:26:45.000 You want more of that?

01:26:46.000 Yeah, I'll take a little more.

01:26:46.000 Damn, Ron goes deep.

01:26:50.000 And one of the...

01:26:53.000 You know those moments when you're a young comic where someone says something to you and it really gives you a nice boost, like you feel great about it?

01:27:00.000 And one time I was at the store and it was maybe like 12 or 13 people in the audience.

01:27:04.000 The most was like...

01:27:05.000 You dead?

01:27:06.000 No, I'll keep going.

01:27:07.000 It was...

01:27:08.000 And Paul Mooney was in the back of the room.

01:27:12.000 I'm good.

01:27:13.000 And...

01:27:15.000 These 12 or 13 people, I'm just doing my act.

01:27:18.000 And Mooney starts laughing hard, like a supportive laugh, like he's with you.

01:27:23.000 Ha!

01:27:24.000 Ha!

01:27:25.000 Ah!

01:27:26.000 He's clapping.

01:27:27.000 And then he came up to me after the show, and he goes, something to the extent of, you're a real comic.

01:27:34.000 Like, that's what makes you a real comic.

01:27:35.000 You do those real shows in front of all those people.

01:27:39.000 You know, you do a real show.

01:27:41.000 Yeah.

01:27:41.000 You don't, like, say, oh, there's only 10 people, oh, there's only 15 people.

01:27:44.000 You don't have to ask that.

01:27:45.000 You go out there and do your best.

01:27:46.000 Yeah.

01:27:48.000 Man, there's always just so much to learn.

01:27:50.000 That's what I've been learning to get out of, like, every set is the same and, like, this is my material.

01:27:56.000 And I've been at that for a little bit, but knowing how to shift my energy for, like, that, like, you do want to be professional for those 10 people, but you're not going to do the same, like...

01:28:07.000 Yelling energy as if they were a hundred people.

01:28:10.000 You're going to be a little more intimate, you know?

01:28:12.000 Yes.

01:28:12.000 You're going to make it more of a conversation.

01:28:14.000 And that's what I'm really learning to do now.

01:28:17.000 Watching, I think for a lot of comedians, but that Gary Shandling documentary.

01:28:22.000 I still haven't seen it.

01:28:23.000 You haven't seen it?

01:28:24.000 Oh man, I love it so much.

01:28:25.000 But it really helped me about being mindful, about being in the moment.

01:28:32.000 So I've been really, like, whenever I write a set list now, because I usually number it and it has, like, a couple words.

01:28:38.000 The first, I would write number one, bullshit, for as long as possible.

01:28:42.000 Because I don't, like, I don't want to just get into it.

01:28:45.000 I want to, you know, unless it's like, I got ten minutes and I have things I want to do.

01:28:49.000 But for the most part, I'm like, Let me get in the moment.

01:28:52.000 Let me look people in the eyes and see if I see something.

01:28:55.000 Not necessarily going in and just crowd work and rip on people, but let me just go in and talk about my day for a second and then maybe that will segue into my set.

01:29:07.000 And so it teaches me a new way to get into things.

01:29:10.000 I'm more conversational.

01:29:11.000 Yeah.

01:29:11.000 Again, you're very jazz.

01:29:13.000 You got a lot of jazz in you, Ron.

01:29:15.000 That's cool.

01:29:16.000 That's a good way to do it.

01:29:17.000 Because it always does feel abrupt when someone begins with a joke.

01:29:21.000 Sometimes it works, though.

01:29:22.000 Like, some people can do it.

01:29:23.000 Some people, they would go on stage and they just hammer with a first joke and from there it's off to the races.

01:29:29.000 Like, they'll open up with a non sequitur.

01:29:31.000 Like, out of nowhere and bang!

01:29:33.000 Yeah, Jeff Ross is really good at, like, just changing the tempo in the room.

01:29:37.000 Right.

01:29:37.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:29:39.000 He's great at it off the cuff, you know, in the spur of the moment type shit.

01:29:43.000 Because all those years of roasting and all those years of fucking with the crowd, and that show they're doing, him and Attell are traveling and doing that bumping mic show, where they just fuck around, man.

01:29:55.000 I mean, it's crazy.

01:29:56.000 They just get in front of those people and fuck around.

01:29:57.000 That's what's so crazy about what really opens your mind about, again, what this job can be.

01:30:01.000 Where you could literally just travel with your friend and...

01:30:06.000 Fuck around and sell out.

01:30:07.000 Yeah.

01:30:08.000 It's amazing.

01:30:09.000 It's amazing.

01:30:10.000 It's a crazy gig, man.

01:30:12.000 It's a crazy gig.

01:30:15.000 When you started out in Chicago, what club were you at?

01:30:17.000 I didn't start in Chicago.

01:30:19.000 I was a young man.

01:30:21.000 I left when I was 13 because my mom was in a negative relationship.

01:30:26.000 So I went to go live with my dad in Oregon.

01:30:30.000 And he was also a negative thing.

01:30:32.000 And then I started comedy in Portland, Oregon when I was 23 at Harvey's Comedy Club there.

01:30:49.000 I know.

01:31:03.000 Got divorced, and then was like, alright, I'll move to Los Angeles, and now I have my son here, and it's just been me and him, and now my girlfriend, and my mom now lives with me for the last year.

01:31:19.000 But, yeah, that's pretty much it.

01:31:22.000 That sounds cool.

01:31:23.000 Is there a scene in Portland where you started?

01:31:26.000 When I started, it was pretty much like...

01:31:29.000 There'd been...

01:31:30.000 Seattle has a scene.

01:31:31.000 Yeah.

01:31:32.000 There'd been a bit of an OG scene of Dwight Slade and Susan Rice.

01:31:40.000 And then, not really much.

01:31:42.000 There's just a lot based off of road gigs, triple runs, going to Idaho.

01:31:46.000 That's right.

01:31:46.000 Everybody was talking about those triple runs.

01:31:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:49.000 We had something similar, which is not as exciting because you guys were going through the Wild West.

01:31:54.000 I mean, you're going to Montana and Idaho.

01:31:57.000 Oh, not me.

01:31:58.000 Oh.

01:31:59.000 Not me.

01:31:59.000 But the people that did it.

01:32:00.000 The people who did it.

01:32:01.000 I didn't seem lucky at the time, but it turned out, in hindsight, to be very lucky that the one time that that booker...

01:32:09.000 Saw me.

01:32:10.000 I just ate shit.

01:32:12.000 Hardcore.

01:32:13.000 And so they wanted nothing to do with me.

01:32:16.000 And it turned out to be the best thing because then I was in this position where I was like, oh, okay, well, I'm not going to get Idaho shows so I don't have to pander to that type of audience.

01:32:26.000 And I'm just going to be here.

01:32:28.000 And so I can, right now, it's really just like, oh, just write what you like.

01:32:32.000 And that turned out to be the best thing for me.

01:32:36.000 Dude, you could perform in Boise.

01:32:38.000 They would love you.

01:32:39.000 Oh, I end up I have.

01:32:40.000 Yeah.

01:32:41.000 No, I love Boise.

01:32:42.000 It's like Portland.

01:32:44.000 It's a very unusual place.

01:32:46.000 It's almost like, I hate talking about it.

01:32:48.000 I don't want to give out their spot.

01:32:50.000 No, they got a good little comedy scene building over there.

01:32:53.000 Yeah, there's, well, I think because of the internet, there's a comedy scene almost in every city.

01:32:57.000 People find a way to get together and do something.

01:33:00.000 It's just, it seems like too much of an exciting option for people who are fuck-ups, and there's so many of us.

01:33:06.000 There's so many of us.

01:33:08.000 You know, in one way or another, there's so many, you know, one form of fuck-up or another.

01:33:12.000 There's so many of us.

01:33:14.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:33:15.000 I mean, I don't know if that's necessarily the truth or if the way that is set up for us to go, the structure that is naturally just doesn't work as much anymore.

01:33:26.000 It made more sense in the past, you know?

01:33:29.000 And also, it's been shown to not be sound, because that's the thing that trips me out now.

01:33:35.000 It's like, when I was a kid, what was drilled in my head for my mom was, get a good government job.

01:33:40.000 Get a good government job.

01:33:42.000 And now that seems like the most unsteady job you could have.

01:33:47.000 You know?

01:33:48.000 That just cut your department.

01:33:49.000 Yeah.

01:33:50.000 You never know.

01:33:51.000 Yeah.

01:33:51.000 And so one thing I learned, the stand-up taught me quickly was that...

01:33:57.000 It's the same stress, you know?

01:33:59.000 But now I'm in charge.

01:34:00.000 The stress of paying my bills, the stress of taking care of my son is the same whether I'm working for somebody else or I'm working for myself.

01:34:06.000 But at least when I'm working for myself, I'm in charge, you know?

01:34:10.000 And as long as I have a product that I can put out, if I don't have anything, then I guess I gotta go work for somebody.

01:34:16.000 But if I had something, I'd rather have that stress be put on me than have someone just show up one day and be like, we're out of business.

01:34:24.000 Find someplace else to work, you know?

01:34:26.000 Yeah, and you're 60. Yeah.

01:34:29.000 Yeah, and they just cut your whole department.

01:34:31.000 Well, didn't, I mean, every fucking single politician gets in the office, they want to cut certain departments, right?

01:34:40.000 There's always someone that thinks something's being overfunded.

01:34:43.000 Yeah.

01:34:45.000 Fuck that.

01:34:45.000 Most of the time they're just talking about cutting Social Security and food stamps.

01:34:49.000 And that seems like the last thing we need right now.

01:34:52.000 Yeah.

01:34:52.000 If you can make things.

01:34:54.000 It seems like if you could make things, this is a good time to be on your own.

01:34:59.000 Because you could sell things on the internet.

01:35:01.000 You could sell things in a way that no one could ever sell before.

01:35:04.000 You could set up an online store.

01:35:06.000 You don't have to have a physical location.

01:35:08.000 And you could just...

01:35:09.000 If you make something, if you're an artist, if you make pottery or some shit, you could sell things that you create online.

01:35:17.000 It's pretty easy to do now.

01:35:19.000 Like, this is a place where people can actually, like, oh, well, if I just did this, if I figured out a way to do that, I'm working for myself.

01:35:26.000 I can just do it whenever I want, just sell things.

01:35:29.000 People like it, they put it in their house, and then a lot of people can go in that direction.

01:35:33.000 It's not, I mean, there's people that just aren't creative and they're not interested in it, but there's a lot of people who are.

01:35:38.000 And for those people who are, just have a little bit of creativity, that they maybe never really nurtured because they work too much, find a way!

01:35:45.000 Find a way.

01:35:46.000 Find a way to get through with that.

01:35:49.000 Yeah.

01:35:49.000 Plus, you know who you are because if you're content in how your job is going anyway, you're fine.

01:35:56.000 You're not even thinking about that.

01:35:57.000 But if you're upset and you're like, oh, I hate this job.

01:36:00.000 I hate what's going on in my life, that usually might be the case.

01:36:04.000 And people love to say, that's easy for you to say.

01:36:07.000 It's easy for you to say.

01:36:08.000 You guys are both already successful.

01:36:10.000 It's very hard.

01:36:11.000 Get started.

01:36:11.000 I get it.

01:36:12.000 I get it.

01:36:13.000 It is hard to get started.

01:36:14.000 It is.

01:36:14.000 100%.

01:36:15.000 I get it.

01:36:16.000 But don't think like that.

01:36:17.000 Just try to find a way through.

01:36:19.000 The more time you spend thinking on it, that's easy for you, you know, it's hard for me.

01:36:23.000 The more time you do that, the less time you're thinking of an actual solution.

01:36:26.000 Yeah.

01:36:27.000 I see that all the time.

01:36:29.000 Especially even with my weight loss and stuff.

01:36:31.000 People...

01:36:33.000 They're always like, oh, you can say that.

01:36:34.000 You got a trainer.

01:36:35.000 And it's just like, I still had to be the guy that vomited.

01:36:39.000 That's true.

01:36:40.000 You know?

01:36:40.000 I still had to be the guy that worked myself so hard that I threw up and still went back.

01:36:46.000 You know?

01:36:47.000 It's like, it is hard.

01:36:49.000 Do you vomit on the ground or did you make it to a trash can?

01:36:50.000 I made it to a trash can.

01:36:51.000 Not at wrestling.

01:36:52.000 At wrestling, it was on the ground.

01:36:54.000 Oh, no.

01:36:55.000 Yeah.

01:36:56.000 It sucked because then they made me clean it up.

01:36:58.000 And I'm like...

01:36:58.000 It's part of the gig.

01:36:59.000 Yeah, it really was.

01:37:01.000 Yeah, you can't be puking.

01:37:04.000 Yeah, man.

01:37:04.000 If you're working out to the point of puking, that's intense.

01:37:06.000 Well, you know, when my body was coming from a place of such an activity.

01:37:11.000 Yeah.

01:37:11.000 How long do you think it took you for you to adjust to a constant state of activity?

01:37:16.000 Probably like six months.

01:37:17.000 That's a great thing, though, that you have the discipline to do that.

01:37:20.000 That's a great thing.

01:37:21.000 It really is.

01:37:21.000 It's...

01:37:22.000 It's an underappreciated thing because I think it's easy for me to keep doing what I'm doing.

01:37:27.000 I always do it.

01:37:28.000 It's part of my natural way of doing it.

01:37:30.000 But to not exercise and then decide you're going to clean your diet up and you're going to start exercising and you're going to continually do it even though you're exhausted because your body's not really prepared for this.

01:37:40.000 So you must have had a long period of like for a couple weeks at least where you're like having your body try to respond to this where it didn't have to do this before.

01:37:50.000 And now you're making it stress out all the time and it's got to recover and then you stress it out and it's got to recover.

01:37:55.000 And then your body's like, what the fuck, dude?

01:37:57.000 What is happening here?

01:37:59.000 Is this our new life?

01:38:00.000 Yeah.

01:38:01.000 Yeah.

01:38:02.000 No, that was pretty much that.

01:38:03.000 You nailed it.

01:38:04.000 How long did it take?

01:38:06.000 To lose, to get to where I am now?

01:38:08.000 To where you started feeling comfortable with like normal exercise on a regular basis or strenuous exercise.

01:38:15.000 Strenuous exercise?

01:38:16.000 Again, I think it would be about six months of where I am.

01:38:20.000 And then also just a...

01:38:22.000 There were weight goals, you know?

01:38:24.000 I was about 360 when we started, and then getting under 350 was just like a real difference.

01:38:32.000 And then when I got under 300, that was a big deal.

01:38:36.000 And then when I got under 250, and then now I'm about 220, and anytime I go over 225, I can feel it in my knees again.

01:38:47.000 Because I had to take a little break for a few weeks.

01:38:51.000 And that was really big on my mind because I was like, oh, I have to take a break for three weeks.

01:38:57.000 Am I going to just blow up again?

01:39:00.000 And going through that and seeing that I can keep my diet and keep my nutrition and that I got a little...

01:39:07.000 Less defined, but I didn't blow up.

01:39:10.000 And I was like, okay, that made me relax a little bit more.

01:39:13.000 And it's helped me as far as my comedy or dealing with executives and stuff where I am very much like, oh, I did that.

01:39:23.000 I can figure things out.

01:39:26.000 I can do it.

01:39:26.000 I have the discipline.

01:39:27.000 If I really set my mind to something, I can usually do it.

01:39:31.000 Yeah, it's a giant accomplishment.

01:39:34.000 And people undermine it because they feel like it doesn't mean as much because you let yourself get to that weight.

01:39:41.000 And I think it's a silly way of looking at it.

01:39:45.000 I am a firm believer that many of us who are feeling really good about life and having a great time here are very, very lucky in their circumstance.

01:39:56.000 Very lucky.

01:39:59.000 The people you're around, the positive influences in your life, the good things, very lucky.

01:40:05.000 Because shit can be really not good.

01:40:08.000 When things are really not good and people go down a spiral, whether it's with booze and cigarettes and heroin or whether it's with food or whether it's with alcohol or whether it's pills, you can go down a spiral.

01:40:21.000 It's who out of the person that is in the bottom of the spiral, who can pull themselves out?

01:40:28.000 Could you, if you had to start from there, instead of starting from a place of success, and this is why I think people get cocky, you wake up every morning like, oh, I guess everything's okay.

01:40:37.000 You know, my life's not in the shitter.

01:40:39.000 Instead, think of what it would be like if you woke up and you were 380 pounds.

01:40:43.000 And this is your new life.

01:40:45.000 Your new life is, you got to get down from 380 pounds to about 220 pounds.

01:40:51.000 You've got to figure out how to do that.

01:40:53.000 And you've got to figure out how to not lapse when you're aching with hunger.

01:40:57.000 You've got to figure out how...

01:40:58.000 Your body has no fucking energy.

01:41:00.000 It doesn't know how to recover.

01:41:01.000 It never gets pushed.

01:41:03.000 And you have to push it through that.

01:41:04.000 And you have to do that to the tune of 160 pounds.

01:41:10.000 That's a lot of fucking weight, man.

01:41:12.000 That's a lot of fucking weight.

01:41:14.000 Most people are not going to be able to do that.

01:41:16.000 It's a lot of weight to lose.

01:41:18.000 How long did that take you?

01:41:20.000 About two and a half years.

01:41:24.000 No matter what, that's an accomplishment, man.

01:41:29.000 And it's something that I think when people hear that, that you did that, people realize, like, I can do that too.

01:41:37.000 I can do that.

01:41:38.000 It can be done.

01:41:39.000 Yeah, that's been one of the best things about it.

01:41:42.000 And what actually keeps me on it is when I get people reaching out to me, like when I post pictures from the past or now, and they're like, man, like, you know, in some ways it used to piss me off because people would be like...

01:41:55.000 Oh, if you can do it, then I can definitely do it.

01:41:58.000 But now it's very motivating.

01:42:01.000 Yeah, you're setting an example.

01:42:05.000 You do something, and then people, because you're in the public eye and you do this thing, they see you do it.

01:42:12.000 They watch it happen.

01:42:13.000 I mean, it's one of the...

01:42:16.000 Cooler things about it.

01:42:17.000 Like, you go in real time.

01:42:19.000 You could see you two years ago.

01:42:21.000 You could see you now.

01:42:22.000 I mean, it's crazy.

01:42:24.000 You went...

01:42:24.000 I mean, you really did it.

01:42:27.000 You know, and when people see that, it's not like a...

01:42:30.000 If you heard that a guy lost 400 pounds, you're like, wow, that's amazing.

01:42:34.000 But if you see a guy, and you watch him on a regular basis, and he's 400 pounds, and then all of a sudden he loses all that weight, you're like, what?

01:42:41.000 Look at him.

01:42:43.000 Watch him do it.

01:42:44.000 You see him do it.

01:42:45.000 Something about people needing to see shit.

01:42:47.000 Like, we need to see someone else do it, and then we go, I can do that.

01:42:51.000 You know?

01:42:52.000 Yeah.

01:42:52.000 Would you ever even imagine, if you didn't know that people ran marathons or ultramarathons, would you ever even imagine that you would want to just run 100 miles?

01:43:02.000 No.

01:43:03.000 You'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:43:05.000 No one's doing that.

01:43:07.000 But then you hear about it, and you see it, and you go, oh, I still don't want to do this.

01:43:13.000 You still don't want to do it, but it changes your idea of what people do.

01:43:18.000 Yeah.

01:43:19.000 Yeah.

01:43:20.000 Of what's capable.

01:43:21.000 Right.

01:43:21.000 So when a guy like you loses all that weight, it changes people's idea of what, if they maybe identify with you, it changes their idea about what they're capable of.

01:43:30.000 They change their opinion of themselves based on you pulling your life together in an awesome way, publicly.

01:43:38.000 Nice.

01:43:39.000 Thank you.

01:43:40.000 Dude, that's dope.

01:43:41.000 That has a powerful impact on people.

01:43:45.000 You know, there's gotta be a lot of dudes out there and gals that are trying to figure the fuck out of the hole they dug themselves in.

01:43:52.000 You know, they're like, how did I get out of this?

01:43:54.000 Like, how do I... Jesus Christ, I hate being tired all the time.

01:43:58.000 No, that's one of my...

01:44:00.000 That's one of the things I love when I talk about a lot of my podcasts is...

01:44:04.000 And I try...

01:44:04.000 Because people don't know me, you know, and a lot of times on Twitter, if I'm like...

01:44:09.000 If I try to give advice or things, or I'm not even really advice, just trying to be positive, people go...

01:44:14.000 Like you were talking about, like, what do you know?

01:44:16.000 What do you care?

01:44:16.000 You were on a TV show.

01:44:17.000 And I have to go like, you don't know my history.

01:44:20.000 You don't know where I came from.

01:44:21.000 You don't know that I'm like, I'm a single dad of a kid with a disability.

01:44:25.000 I take care of myself.

01:44:27.000 I was poor as crap.

01:44:29.000 I had three weeks of a college, community college education.

01:44:34.000 And I... Once I was like, oh, I gotta pull my life together for this son who's different from other people and I don't know if he's ever gonna be able to live on his own or have his own job or I have to prepare for not.

01:44:49.000 I have to prepare if he does, if he needs help.

01:44:52.000 I have to prepare for all these things and it really motivated me and it pushed me forward and I like to...

01:44:59.000 Now, for some reason, I don't know if it's like survival's remorse or whatever, I'm always like, man, I feel like so many people can do that, you know?

01:45:08.000 Not necessarily comedy or whatever, but I always feel like people have their own gifts, they have their own talents, and sometimes we're not...

01:45:15.000 We're not told that.

01:45:16.000 We're not pushed in those directions.

01:45:17.000 Sometimes we go through traumas or things in our lives that dim our light, you know?

01:45:23.000 And I like to be like, anybody can do it because I'm a testament to that because I should not be here.

01:45:32.000 Well, you should because you chose the right path.

01:45:35.000 This is what's really critical about this kind of...

01:45:38.000 When we talk about people's future or what they can and can't do, one of the beautiful things about stand-up is that it's a meritocracy.

01:45:47.000 You're really funny.

01:45:48.000 People love you.

01:45:50.000 We just want to know, are you funny?

01:45:51.000 Hey, is that guy funny?

01:45:52.000 He's funny?

01:45:53.000 Come on in.

01:45:54.000 Is she funny?

01:45:55.000 She's funny.

01:45:55.000 Okay.

01:45:56.000 Come on in.

01:45:58.000 That's it.

01:45:59.000 And I don't know of that many other jobs where it's that clear.

01:46:04.000 There's a lot of jobs where you've got to do a lot of ass guessing.

01:46:07.000 You've got to suck that corporate dick.

01:46:09.000 You've got to be in the office with Satan going, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

01:46:13.000 I don't want to be here.

01:46:14.000 I'm writing down goals.

01:46:15.000 I just want to do coke.

01:46:17.000 I want to get a Ferrari.

01:46:18.000 Fuck this job.

01:46:19.000 That's what a lot of it is, man.

01:46:21.000 There's a lot of weird angst.

01:46:23.000 And then you get stuck in this fucking corporate ladder.

01:46:26.000 You get muted.

01:46:27.000 You get toned down.

01:46:29.000 There's no deviation from the standard office worker path.

01:46:34.000 You're in this weird groove.

01:46:35.000 Whereas as a stand-up, all you got to do is make the people laugh.

01:46:39.000 All you got to do is find this shit that's funny, work on it, make the people laugh.

01:46:42.000 Get out there!

01:46:43.000 Boom, boom, boom!

01:46:44.000 Holy shit, you got to go see Ron Funches!

01:46:45.000 Oh shit!

01:46:46.000 People start talking.

01:46:47.000 People start telling other friends.

01:46:49.000 The next thing you go, there's agents, there's managers.

01:46:51.000 You keep going, you keep going, you keep getting better.

01:46:53.000 Oh my god, you're on TV. Look at you.

01:46:54.000 Keep going, keep going, keep going.

01:46:56.000 If you just keep going and working at it, nobody tells us what to do.

01:46:59.000 It's fucking beautiful, but not everybody can get that gig.

01:47:01.000 So then there's other gigs, like what gig do you take?

01:47:04.000 Well, it seems like you should take the gig where you make a lot of money, but that's not the move!

01:47:10.000 It's not the move!

01:47:12.000 Unless you can be sure that you can quit that gig in a short period of time, because nobody ever does.

01:47:17.000 Yeah, trap jobs.

01:47:19.000 That's what I always would put them.

01:47:21.000 And they had a lot of them where I grew up with this bank call center where I was working because it was the only place, this tiny town, not many jobs.

01:47:30.000 If you didn't have a college education, you were working at a Subway, you were working at a Sam Goody, or you were working at this bank and you were making like 20 bucks an hour.

01:47:40.000 You're making like double what you're making at this Subway.

01:47:43.000 There's no skills that transfer.

01:47:45.000 So if you want to leave this job, you're going back to Subway, you know?

01:47:50.000 So a lot of people end up trapped there.

01:47:52.000 And I knew right away, I was like, I gotta get out.

01:47:55.000 I can't, I mean, hey, I'm not a bank guy.

01:47:59.000 So, you know?

01:48:00.000 That's a trap.

01:48:01.000 That is a trap, man.

01:48:03.000 I remember when I was a kid, I was working at this place called Newport Creamery.

01:48:07.000 It was an ice cream store.

01:48:09.000 They sold ice cream and hamburgers and shit like that.

01:48:12.000 And there was a bank that was right next door.

01:48:13.000 And I would always go in the bank with my Newport Creamery check, and I'd deposit it, and I'd say hi to this lady.

01:48:19.000 And then one day I heard, she had the baby in the toilet, and then left it in a garbage bin.

01:48:28.000 And no one even knew she was pregnant.

01:48:31.000 And it was one of those like, what?

01:48:33.000 Like we had just a window into madness.

01:48:36.000 Like right next door to where we were working.

01:48:39.000 We were like, what?

01:48:41.000 That lady that we always said hi to?

01:48:43.000 The lady got pregnant, didn't tell anybody, and gave birth in the bathroom at work and put the baby in a dumpster.

01:48:54.000 Dude.

01:48:55.000 I wish you hadn't lived, but this was a bank story.

01:48:58.000 Well, it was a bank story, and it was just a person.

01:49:00.000 A person working.

01:49:01.000 She could have been in a cupcake shop.

01:49:04.000 This was a person who was mad.

01:49:06.000 They were a crazy person, right?

01:49:08.000 You have to be.

01:49:10.000 You would have to be a crazy person where no one knows you're pregnant, and then you give birth in a bathroom, and the baby winds up in a dumpster.

01:49:15.000 It's like, that is, that's the most insane shit I've ever heard in my life.

01:49:20.000 Yeah.

01:49:21.000 And that was like right next door to the ice cream place.

01:49:23.000 And we were all like, whoa.

01:49:25.000 It's like the fabric of reality had rippled.

01:49:28.000 We realized like someone can be that crazy in your town.

01:49:33.000 In your fucking town.

01:49:35.000 Right there.

01:49:36.000 I like that your town...

01:49:37.000 Oh man, you sound like you got a nice town now.

01:49:39.000 It was a nice town.

01:49:41.000 I mean, it was very idyllic in a lot of ways.

01:49:45.000 Yeah, it sounds pretty sheltered up until people putting babies and things.

01:49:49.000 Well, it was just...

01:49:50.000 It wasn't a big place, you know, and when something would go wrong...

01:49:55.000 It would be odd.

01:49:57.000 Like you knew the person.

01:49:58.000 You know how I know it's sheltered?

01:50:00.000 It's because you worked at a place called Creamery.

01:50:03.000 Newport Creamery.

01:50:04.000 Yeah.

01:50:04.000 It wasn't even just ice cream.

01:50:07.000 It was super sheltered.

01:50:09.000 Yeah, that was a sheltered ass place.

01:50:11.000 That's beautiful.

01:50:12.000 I want to do that.

01:50:13.000 I want to make that a reality for my son.

01:50:15.000 It was a nice place to grow up.

01:50:17.000 And I had lived in Jamaica Plain before that, which was much, much worse neighborhood.

01:50:23.000 It was sketchy.

01:50:25.000 We lived there for about a year.

01:50:27.000 And then my parents were like, we gotta get the fuck out of here.

01:50:30.000 Like, people breaking into cars while you're sleeping, and home break-ins, and it was just a lot of crime.

01:50:36.000 Especially in, like, 1978 or whatever the fuck it was.

01:50:41.000 I guess it was, like, 80. Yeah.

01:50:44.000 So then we moved to Newton, which is nice.

01:50:46.000 Are your parents still around?

01:50:48.000 Yeah.

01:50:49.000 They're still together.

01:50:50.000 My stepdad and my mom are still together.

01:50:53.000 They've been together since I was a little kid.

01:50:55.000 They're a nice couple.

01:50:57.000 Have a good time together.

01:51:00.000 Do you ever wonder what you're going to be like when you're like a 75-year-old man?

01:51:04.000 Yeah.

01:51:05.000 What do you think?

01:51:06.000 I think it'd be cool as fuck.

01:51:07.000 Yeah.

01:51:10.000 I don't give a fuck mostly now, and I imagine later, even less.

01:51:16.000 Just saying all types of stuff.

01:51:17.000 I see it in my mom.

01:51:20.000 Especially it's fun because I can take her to random events that I go to.

01:51:25.000 And she just...

01:51:26.000 I try to be cool because I'm working.

01:51:29.000 And she has none of that because she doesn't care.

01:51:32.000 My mom sexually harassed Justin Timberlake once.

01:51:35.000 It was great.

01:51:37.000 She just went right up.

01:51:38.000 Security was about to take her out.

01:51:41.000 That's hilarious.

01:51:42.000 She just doesn't care.

01:51:43.000 Have you ever had a guest on your podcast?

01:51:45.000 Yeah, she was the second guest.

01:51:47.000 Or the first guest.

01:51:48.000 Second episode.

01:51:49.000 That's amazing.

01:51:50.000 I learned a lot from my mom.

01:51:52.000 She's super dope.

01:51:54.000 She's smoking a lot of pot.

01:51:56.000 She lives with you now.

01:51:58.000 Yeah, she lives in the pool house.

01:52:00.000 Did you get depressed in Portland with the weather?

01:52:03.000 Did it freak you out?

01:52:05.000 Yeah, you get seasonal depression there easily, yeah.

01:52:08.000 People say it's real.

01:52:10.000 They say even if you take vitamin D and you sit in a tan in bed.

01:52:12.000 Yeah, I mean, they'll sell you those lights and all those things, you know?

01:52:15.000 That shit doesn't do it, though, does it?

01:52:17.000 No, not when you're dealing with three months of straight gray, you know?

01:52:21.000 It's the rain.

01:52:23.000 Not just gray, but the rain.

01:52:24.000 I think it's both because there's this lack of color palette in your life.

01:52:29.000 Yes.

01:52:29.000 You don't get the vibrance.

01:52:31.000 Yeah.

01:52:32.000 When the ocean looks like a dull gray.

01:52:35.000 Yeah.

01:52:36.000 Even the ocean looks tired.

01:52:37.000 Like, whoa.

01:52:39.000 Right?

01:52:40.000 As opposed to, like, if you go to Mexico.

01:52:42.000 Like, I went to Cancun way back in the day, and the first thing I noticed, like, how the fuck is the ocean that color?

01:52:51.000 Like, look how pretty it is.

01:52:52.000 Yeah.

01:52:53.000 It's like a bluish green.

01:52:55.000 It's gorgeous.

01:52:56.000 Yeah.

01:52:56.000 Have you ever been to the French Riviera?

01:52:58.000 No.

01:52:59.000 Oh, my God.

01:53:00.000 One time.

01:53:01.000 And yeah, same thing.

01:53:03.000 They have pebble beaches instead of sand, which is horrible.

01:53:07.000 But the water is so beautiful.

01:53:12.000 It's crazy.

01:53:14.000 Yeah.

01:53:14.000 Yeah, I grew up in that town, which was next to the Charles River, and that Charles River went all the way through Boston.

01:53:21.000 And the Charles River was, like, disgusting, man.

01:53:24.000 Like, you'd see condoms floating in it, and you'd see, I saw one pipe, and these bubbles were coming up to the surface.

01:53:30.000 I was like, what the fuck is that?

01:53:31.000 And then I saw a condom bubble up, and I went, oh my god, it's a sewer pipe.

01:53:35.000 And I realized someone was just flushing their shit and piss right into the goddamn river.

01:53:40.000 I was like, how did this happen?

01:53:42.000 And I was, you know, 14. And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

01:53:46.000 Like, how am I finding this?

01:53:48.000 Like, you don't have anybody, like, checking to see if the shit pipe is pumping right into the goddamn river?

01:53:54.000 Like, oh my god, it was crazy.

01:53:56.000 So it wasn't clean by any stretch of the imagination.

01:53:58.000 So to see that kind of clean, pure, like, ocean water where, like...

01:54:04.000 You ever heard of bone fishing?

01:54:07.000 Do you know what that is?

01:54:08.000 It's a type of fishing that people do.

01:54:10.000 I think they mostly just catch and release them.

01:54:12.000 I don't think they even keep most of them.

01:54:13.000 But they go to Florida and I think the Bahamas.

01:54:17.000 I want to say the Bahamas.

01:54:18.000 And they're on these like...

01:54:21.000 Special boats that are like these boats you can stand on, and they're fly fishing for this fish that looks like it belongs in the Stone Age.

01:54:31.000 This weird, cool-looking fish called the bonefish.

01:54:34.000 See if you can pull up a picture of it.

01:54:36.000 I don't know why we're talking about this.

01:54:38.000 That's how high I am.

01:54:39.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:54:41.000 Is that a bonefish?

01:54:43.000 It looks more like a barracuda.

01:54:47.000 That's a bonefish.

01:54:48.000 See, that's a bonefish.

01:54:49.000 That other one was a barracuda.

01:54:50.000 I think they just had a bad photo.

01:54:52.000 You see the difference?

01:54:53.000 It's a crazy-looking fish, man.

01:54:55.000 And see that water behind them?

01:54:57.000 It's hard to tell from this image, but what we're looking at is really shallow water.

01:55:00.000 At the most, it's like three feet deep, right?

01:55:03.000 And they're just casting out, and they see these fish coming towards them, and they catch it.

01:55:07.000 It's supposed to be super, super exciting.

01:55:09.000 You do a lot of fishing?

01:55:10.000 I don't do a lot of fishing, but I love fishing.

01:55:12.000 It's fun.

01:55:13.000 But this is fun, I would assume.

01:55:15.000 I haven't done this kind of fishing, bone fishing, but that's what people love, seeing a fish coming and going and biting your lure.

01:55:22.000 It's very exciting.

01:55:23.000 Yeah, it sounds exciting.

01:55:24.000 But look how clear that goddamn water is.

01:55:26.000 There's no condoms.

01:55:27.000 There's no condoms.

01:55:28.000 Just bone fish.

01:55:30.000 I was watching a video today of a guy jumping with scuba gear on into the garbage patch.

01:55:35.000 It's in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

01:55:38.000 You know, I knew that it was supposed to be horrific, but when you see it in a video, you watch it and just go, what the fuck is this?

01:55:48.000 This guy put scuba gear on and jumped into this.

01:55:51.000 I mean, it was plastic.

01:55:53.000 You couldn't see anything but plastic.

01:55:54.000 Everywhere you looked, to the left and the right, it was all plastic.

01:55:57.000 Like, this is huge.

01:55:59.000 Like, several states large.

01:56:03.000 Yeah, this shit.

01:56:07.000 This is what humans are doing to the ocean.

01:56:11.000 You see him jump in and it's almost...

01:56:13.000 Did they show him jump in or is this a different video?

01:56:16.000 Probably a different video.

01:56:17.000 This is a different video because the other one, the guy starts out on the boat and dives in and what he dives into is just like plastic soup.

01:56:25.000 It's fucking disgusting, man.

01:56:27.000 It's crazy.

01:56:28.000 Yeah, like this.

01:56:31.000 So there's this guy that we had on the podcast, his name is Boyan Slott, and he created a device that he's using to try to pull the plastic out of the ocean, and they'll maybe convert that plastic into things that we can use.

01:56:46.000 And I don't think it worked on the first attempt, but they're...

01:56:51.000 They're relaunching it, right?

01:56:52.000 They had to do something to fix things.

01:56:55.000 They're still in the prototype stage, but it's going to have these machines, these giant nets that move around through the ocean and catch all this plastic.

01:57:04.000 How does it stop it from getting fish?

01:57:07.000 That's a very good question.

01:57:08.000 I don't think there's any fish living in there.

01:57:10.000 I bet a lot of fish have eaten that stuff, though.

01:57:15.000 Guaranteed.

01:57:15.000 There's probably a lot of fish with plastic in their stomachs.

01:57:17.000 Oh, 100%.

01:57:18.000 Yeah, man.

01:57:20.000 That's gross.

01:57:21.000 I mean, what kind of shit gets in their system, and then when you eat that fish, what kind of shit are you getting in your system?

01:57:27.000 Like, how many people are testing their fish?

01:57:30.000 You know?

01:57:31.000 I mean, how many people are, before they eat a salmon, they're like, hold on, let me check for mercury, let me see how much arsenic's in this, let's see what kind of heavy metal pours, what's that stuff, BPBs, that they're worried about that come from, what is the stuff they're worried about that comes from bottles?

01:57:46.000 Plastic.

01:57:47.000 Yeah, BPAs or something like that?

01:57:48.000 That sounds right, yeah.

01:57:49.000 I wish I knew what that meant.

01:57:51.000 I guess they did a video of their first results from November.

01:57:56.000 I don't know what he's saying.

01:57:57.000 Oh, so this is their first actual pulling of the garbage?

01:58:03.000 You know, listen, man, even if it takes 10 years, if they could figure out a way to get rid of all that plastic and we could figure out a way to not put that plastic in the ocean, we could maybe...

01:58:14.000 What I really worry about almost as much as this, maybe even more, is overfishing.

01:58:20.000 When you realize how many different ships are out there using giant nets and just scooping everything they catch inside that net and then just serving it to us.

01:58:31.000 And we're like, ooh, you want to get sushi?

01:58:33.000 Yeah, sushi sounds good.

01:58:34.000 We're like, so cool.

01:58:35.000 Sushi sounds good.

01:58:36.000 It's ocean genocide.

01:58:38.000 I mean, it's fucking chaotic, man.

01:58:40.000 They don't have real...

01:58:42.000 I mean, they don't have real control.

01:58:43.000 It's international waters.

01:58:45.000 People are just cutting nets and dropping them to the bottom of the ocean and they're catching things all the time.

01:58:49.000 There's nets all over the place out there.

01:58:51.000 People just release their nets.

01:58:53.000 They just litter.

01:58:54.000 But you've been very conscious about what you eat and sustainability a lot lately, right?

01:59:00.000 Well, I think sustainability, yeah.

01:59:02.000 I do think about that a lot.

01:59:04.000 I don't know if I'm that conscious of it.

01:59:06.000 I'm definitely guilty of not being sometimes.

01:59:08.000 I mean, I'm extremely unconscious about it.

01:59:10.000 I wish I was more conscious about it because I'm one that will put in my face.

01:59:14.000 It makes me all sad.

01:59:15.000 Yeah.

01:59:16.000 I'm more conscious about what I eat than I am sustainability in terms of the quality of what I eat.

01:59:21.000 I'm more conscious about that.

01:59:23.000 I should be more conscious about sustainability, but sometimes it feels like...

01:59:26.000 What are you showing me here?

01:59:28.000 Is that a crocodile, goddammit?

01:59:29.000 No.

01:59:30.000 What is that?

01:59:30.000 Big catch with an exclamation mark is the name of this video.

01:59:33.000 It's got 40 million views on YouTube.

01:59:35.000 It's a net that's full of stuff.

01:59:38.000 Oh, they caught a net.

01:59:40.000 Oh, this is...

01:59:41.000 Oh, a net.

01:59:42.000 This is a fishing boat.

01:59:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:43.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:59:44.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:59:44.000 Look how it works.

01:59:45.000 They just scoop up every fucking thing that's in that ocean.

01:59:50.000 It's really amazing.

01:59:51.000 I mean, what a horrific place to be if you're a fish.

01:59:56.000 Imagine if fish were, like, super smart, and this is their demise.

02:00:01.000 I mean, this is an insane net filled with living creatures that we're going to eat.

02:00:07.000 No, bro, it's just tilapia.

02:00:09.000 Relax.

02:00:10.000 God, you're getting so dramatic.

02:00:13.000 Look at that.

02:00:14.000 It's a crazy bundle.

02:00:16.000 Of these ocean creatures and how often does this happen a day?

02:00:20.000 Is it all day?

02:00:22.000 I bet it is.

02:00:23.000 I bet this is all day.

02:00:25.000 I bet this is all day for years and years and years and years and I don't think they take time off.

02:00:32.000 I think they keep going and if they're not there someone else is there too.

02:00:36.000 I think this is happening as long as they can make money selling fish and we're willing to buy fish.

02:00:42.000 It's kind of insane.

02:00:43.000 You think people ever feel bad about it?

02:00:45.000 Sure.

02:00:45.000 Do any of those people feel bad?

02:00:47.000 Maybe.

02:00:47.000 It's possible.

02:00:48.000 They're not monsters, right?

02:00:49.000 They might develop a...

02:00:51.000 Well, that guy just stepped right on a fish, though.

02:00:54.000 Yeah, they get desensitized, I'm sure, man.

02:00:57.000 He doesn't seem like he cared at all.

02:00:58.000 Well, this is crazy.

02:00:59.000 I mean, this is not...

02:01:00.000 A person's supposed to be able to catch a fish, or a two fish, or three fish, and then you eat it.

02:01:05.000 Like, this is chaos, man.

02:01:07.000 This is some crazy thing where you have to make Filet-O-Fish sandwiches because there's, you know, 320 million people and 100 million of them want junk food anytime they want it.

02:01:18.000 I mean, I don't know if that went to Filet-O-Fish or if that's expensive fish.

02:01:22.000 I really have no idea.

02:01:23.000 I'm just talking shit.

02:01:24.000 Don't listen to me.

02:01:25.000 And I also eat fish, so I'm a hypocrite.

02:01:27.000 But it is kind of crazy when you watch this video.

02:01:30.000 And I'm not a...

02:01:32.000 You know, I'm not opposed to you eating fish, but I'm just saying the reality of what this is is crazy.

02:01:39.000 This is a crazy scene.

02:01:40.000 And to deny it's a crazy scene, I'm still going to eat fish.

02:01:44.000 You know, I feel awful about this.

02:01:46.000 It does slightly make me want sushi.

02:01:51.000 Looking at this, when I was a server, a big question people would always ask, is it farm-raised or is it wild-caught?

02:01:58.000 If this is wild-caught versus farm-raised, I don't know why it would make a giant difference.

02:02:02.000 It seems like it's bad either way.

02:02:04.000 Yeah, it's hell, no matter what, for these organisms.

02:02:07.000 But they're delicious, and they're really good for you.

02:02:12.000 But how are they going to ensure that there's going to be some left?

02:02:15.000 That's what's crazy.

02:02:16.000 Like, the human governments need to get together and go, hey, we can't kill the whole ocean.

02:02:22.000 Because that is possible.

02:02:23.000 If you keep going at the pace that it's going now, if you really stop and think about what the ocean must have been like when you hear about those Japanese tuna fishermen, like, did you see Jiro...

02:02:33.000 Dreams of Sushi.

02:02:35.000 Remember when those gentlemen were at the fish market and they were talking about what it used to be like?

02:02:39.000 Used to be tuna everywhere.

02:02:40.000 So much tuna and now it's like a small amount and you gotta check to see if it's good.

02:02:44.000 Like they're watching it happen in real time.

02:02:46.000 If you go from that point where that guy was talking about to today and then go 50 years from now at the same pace like...

02:02:54.000 Yeah.

02:02:57.000 No, you gotta be...

02:02:58.000 But it seems like that it wouldn't be that hard to be more conscious about it.

02:03:02.000 Well, at the very least, they have to take into consideration the fact that they need to maybe develop some sort of an international program to breed these things.

02:03:14.000 They've done that with Yellowtail.

02:03:16.000 They have this ocean, almost like a corralled-in area, and they're out in the ocean.

02:03:23.000 But they're only in this one trapped area, and they're feeding them.

02:03:26.000 You know, and occasionally they get out.

02:03:28.000 Like, they get those yellowtails in Hawaii.

02:03:30.000 There was a storm, and the storm wrecked their little enclosure, and they got out.

02:03:33.000 Now they're everywhere.

02:03:34.000 So all these hamachi-grade, like, sushi-grade yellowtails are swimming around all over the place outside of Hawaii.

02:03:41.000 That's one of my favorites.

02:03:42.000 And they're breeding, and they're getting bigger.

02:03:44.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:03:45.000 It's interesting, but I was thinking when they were telling me that, well, so if that's what they did, like, maybe they should do that and just keep releasing them.

02:03:51.000 Maybe it should be a program That all the people who buy sushi fund into that just takes a little piece of the sushi money and uses it to develop these programs to make sure that these fucking fish keep breeding so you can have more sushi.

02:04:06.000 I think people will pay extra for that.

02:04:09.000 They should, right?

02:04:10.000 Then they would feel good.

02:04:12.000 Yeah, I feel a little better.

02:04:12.000 You helping out?

02:04:13.000 Yeah.

02:04:14.000 That's what I think we can leave this next generation.

02:04:18.000 They have a real good possibility of making things work out better.

02:04:21.000 I really think that.

02:04:23.000 I think it's totally possible.

02:04:24.000 I think it's possible that the world is just going to keep getting better and better, and there's going to be terrible things, but it's going to keep getting better and better, and then we'll be able to come to some kind of time in our future where it seems like things have improved.

02:04:37.000 I agree with you.

02:04:39.000 I think we're headed towards the age of a new golden era, a new enlightenment, because, and I think a lot of times these things that we think are negative are kind of indicators of that, because These are things, a lot of these negative things we talk about were happening either way,

02:04:56.000 but now we're more aware of them and people fight them and people are more upset about them and they're more public because of things like social media.

02:05:05.000 And I think that's a positive, not a negative, that people aren't able to pull the wool over your eyes as easily.

02:05:12.000 Yeah.

02:05:13.000 I think what's really interesting about this time is that you got so many people that are able to communicate.

02:05:20.000 Whether it's yourself or Joey Diaz or Ari Shafir or Marc Maron or whoever these people are that have these podcasts.

02:05:28.000 So many people have this ability to communicate.

02:05:32.000 So many people have this ability to...

02:05:34.000 You show your world in a different way.

02:05:39.000 And everybody gets to compare all these different ways that people are communicating.

02:05:45.000 And we kind of come to...

02:05:48.000 Maybe a better understanding of why we think the way we think, in which I think, especially one of the reasons why I'm so hell-bent on having people be reasonable and try to talk to each other, is that I think that everybody could learn something from each other in this world.

02:06:03.000 Whether you're left or right or in the center or religious or atheist or whatever, there's too much conflict that's unnecessary.

02:06:10.000 There's too much of what people are or aren't that has nothing to do with you.

02:06:13.000 And you should be able to talk about politics or even religion and be completely calm about it and not be angry and not get emotional and childlike.

02:06:21.000 But we're programmed to think you're supposed to.

02:06:23.000 We're programmed to think that every fucking conversation about something you disagree with is supposed to be this angry battle of one-upsmanship.

02:06:32.000 And I don't think it has to be.

02:06:34.000 I don't think it does.

02:06:35.000 No, I mean...

02:06:37.000 There's certain issues that, like, where you're like, oh, I don't want to argue over my, like, civil rights or things like that.

02:06:46.000 You know, you're like, I don't want to be like, oh, okay, well, you don't think I'm a full person?

02:06:52.000 Okay, let's have a point-counterpoint.

02:06:54.000 There's issues like that.

02:06:55.000 But I think now...

02:06:58.000 Yeah.

02:07:18.000 That's the way we find out who we really are as opposed to who our side is painting the other side as.

02:07:23.000 I feel like what I meant by people being able to get along is you can have opposing thoughts And still be a nice person.

02:07:34.000 If you're a really super conservative person, sometimes I want to know why.

02:07:41.000 I don't want to oppose you as much as I want to know why.

02:07:44.000 I want to know what you're thinking.

02:07:46.000 What's pushing you in this direction?

02:07:48.000 What makes you think this?

02:07:50.000 As opposed to if you are a really progressive person.

02:07:53.000 What makes you think this?

02:07:54.000 What's going on?

02:07:56.000 That conversation can be had in a way more peaceful way, or maybe we could all examine why we think about things a certain way.

02:08:05.000 And I've been thinking about it a lot when it comes to religions lately.

02:08:08.000 We're so fucking tense about religions.

02:08:12.000 So fucking tense lately.

02:08:13.000 And if it's not for, like, kids getting abused or wars getting started over it, the vast majority of it is just a guideline for people to live their life.

02:08:22.000 And if you take that away from them or tell them that that's bad for them or tell them they can't live that way, then you've created this conflict that's really not your business.

02:08:30.000 Right?

02:08:30.000 In a lot of ways.

02:08:32.000 I didn't think like that before.

02:08:33.000 I used to think before that, like, that's not what I believe, so, you know, these people, there must be something wrong with the way they're thinking.

02:08:42.000 Well, a lot of times that's what certain organized religions paint it as, right?

02:08:47.000 If you don't believe, you can have the same branch of Christianity or whatever, but if you're not Protestant, then you're not following it completely.

02:09:00.000 To me, so many of these rules end up just being like, hey, be a nice person.

02:09:06.000 Yeah.

02:09:06.000 Don't be a jerk.

02:09:08.000 Don't murder people.

02:09:09.000 Those are kind of constant through all those things where you're like, that's something I can take from you, but to judge someone else's life based off of their sexual orientation or something of anything, that to me never jives.

02:09:25.000 Right.

02:09:25.000 So I'm always like, I'm open to whatever you want.

02:09:29.000 Whatever makes you not be a fucking jerk, I'm for.

02:09:33.000 Yeah.

02:09:34.000 No, I'm with you 100%.

02:09:37.000 Yeah.

02:09:52.000 And so I was like, what does that mean?

02:09:54.000 Oh, he's going to become Jewish.

02:09:55.000 Like, what does that mean?

02:09:56.000 Like, what are you talking about?

02:09:57.000 I was like, you know, five or something like that.

02:09:59.000 I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

02:10:02.000 There's different ones?

02:10:02.000 Like, what do they think?

02:10:04.000 Like, who's right?

02:10:05.000 I remember being like six years old going, shit, there's more than one story that you have to follow?

02:10:10.000 And we're not sure who's right?

02:10:11.000 And my uncle is going to switch over to the other story?

02:10:14.000 Now he believes a different story.

02:10:15.000 I can't believe this.

02:10:16.000 He's got an adjusted story.

02:10:18.000 And, you know, you fall into this pattern.

02:10:20.000 Now you're in this story's pattern.

02:10:22.000 Like, wow, you know, we lost him to the Marvel Universe.

02:10:25.000 He's DC Comics for so long.

02:10:27.000 He was all about Batman and Superman.

02:10:29.000 And now he's like, fuck them.

02:10:31.000 I'm with the Avengers.

02:10:32.000 Right?

02:10:35.000 Crazy.

02:10:35.000 That's a fun way to look at it.

02:10:37.000 It's an interesting way of looking at it.

02:10:38.000 Without being disrespectful to either side.

02:10:40.000 It's like, wow, okay.

02:10:42.000 You know, I don't know who's right.

02:10:44.000 We know who makes better movies.

02:10:46.000 Yes.

02:10:47.000 Yeah, the Jews do an excellent job making movies.

02:10:53.000 It's amazing how much they've been involved in show business.

02:10:55.000 You know, when I'm watching that marvelous Mrs. Maisel, it makes you realize, like, oh, yeah, Lenny Bruce was Jewish, this guy was Jewish, that guy was Jewish.

02:11:03.000 There were so many Jewish guys in the early days of stand-up.

02:11:06.000 Yeah.

02:11:07.000 Got a little mafia.

02:11:08.000 You know, at the same time, there was a lot of Jewish boxers back then, too.

02:11:11.000 It's a thing that people probably don't know.

02:11:14.000 It was they were underclass in a lot of ways, or, you know, and, like, that's, like, now it's Russians.

02:11:20.000 Like, you get a lot of Russian boxers now.

02:11:22.000 Bah!

02:11:22.000 Badass motherfucking Russians, dude.

02:11:24.000 Hard men.

02:11:25.000 Hard men.

02:11:26.000 Because they're coming over here from a hard place.

02:11:28.000 And they're fucking people up, you know?

02:11:30.000 And it's like, one day it'll be someone else.

02:11:33.000 It's interesting how it goes in these waves, you know?

02:11:36.000 Yeah, for whatever country is not doing well.

02:11:39.000 Yeah, and it's interesting when you see the waves of stand-ups come out of these countries, too.

02:11:44.000 There's different styles of stand-up now in different parts of the world.

02:11:49.000 Stand-up is really a global thing now.

02:11:52.000 English guys have their own style.

02:11:54.000 There's a lot of those guys.

02:11:55.000 I've never been to Edinburgh, but R. Shafir goes all the time.

02:11:59.000 He's like, dude, they'll do these hours on just a subject.

02:12:03.000 Yeah, it's all these themes.

02:12:05.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:12:06.000 It's a different vibe, different style.

02:12:08.000 A lot less rowdy, a lot less boisterous, just people listening.

02:12:15.000 They're great at listening.

02:12:16.000 We did...

02:12:18.000 Sweden.

02:12:20.000 And we played Stockholm, me and Tony Hinchcliffe.

02:12:22.000 And Tony was like, dude, it's just like they didn't like me.

02:12:25.000 I go, no, no, they're just polite.

02:12:26.000 I go, in between the jokes, they're just quiet.

02:12:29.000 They're listening.

02:12:30.000 You're not used to that.

02:12:31.000 And he's like, okay, okay, okay.

02:12:32.000 And he went out the second one.

02:12:33.000 He's like, you're right, you're right.

02:12:35.000 They're just so nice.

02:12:36.000 I thought something was wrong.

02:12:37.000 But it's all put in for your timing because it makes you have to have more material because you're used to like waiting for a few seconds.

02:12:45.000 Yes, exactly.

02:12:46.000 Yeah, I am great.

02:12:49.000 Well, it's also, you know, that's, it's not, I don't think it's a that common art form over there.

02:12:55.000 I don't think they have a long history of having stand-up in Sweden, do they?

02:13:00.000 Not that I'm aware of.

02:13:01.000 I mean, maybe they do and we don't know, but for whatever it is, it's diminutive in comparison to any of the places that we know of that have scenes, whether it's New York scene, you know.

02:13:12.000 LA has seen San Francisco.

02:13:13.000 There's like some big scenes here where you know funny guys and girls who've come out of these scenes.

02:13:18.000 You don't hear like a lot of guys from Sweden, do you?

02:13:23.000 Yeah, but they're starting to get more of them.

02:13:25.000 They're starting to get more of them.

02:13:25.000 Everybody all around the world is starting to get more comedy.

02:13:28.000 It's an interesting time in that way.

02:13:30.000 It's very similar to jiu-jitsu.

02:13:31.000 You know, jiu-jitsu at one point in time, there's only a few places you get it outside of Brazil.

02:13:35.000 It was hard to find someone who's really good at teaching it.

02:13:37.000 Now it's everywhere.

02:13:38.000 Now it's in New Zealand and Australia.

02:13:41.000 It's in Africa.

02:13:42.000 It's everywhere.

02:13:43.000 There's jiu-jitsu in Canada and fucking Puerto Rico.

02:13:46.000 There's jiu-jitsu everywhere.

02:13:47.000 All over the world.

02:13:48.000 Cuba.

02:13:49.000 Everyone has jiu-jitsu.

02:13:50.000 You know, it's just spread.

02:13:52.000 Found out it was awesome.

02:13:54.000 That could be the same with stand-up.

02:13:55.000 Then it forms back into the practice, right?

02:13:59.000 100%.

02:13:59.000 Everybody's doing new styles.

02:14:02.000 100%.

02:14:02.000 And everyone is like, there's a really accelerated learning growth from the time where it starts getting put on the internet, which is like around like 95, 96, and the internet kind of becomes alive.

02:14:12.000 From that point on, people comparing jiu-jitsu techniques and watching matches and then, you know, new gyms opening up all around America in particular.

02:14:22.000 It's like the whole level of the sport went through the roof.

02:14:24.000 It's crazy.

02:14:25.000 Yeah, I think that's very similar to comedy because I think a lot of my personal growth was I was able to do because I was able to watch so much comedy and also I was able to get on the internet and read about a lot of comedy and Twitter and YouTube or Twitter was just starting and YouTube was going and I watched a lot of watching the videos with you and Mencia and those things,

02:14:49.000 you know, and a lot of that stuff Inform my comedy at an early age about making a style or just how I wanted to write for myself.

02:15:00.000 Especially when you're first starting, a lot of what will work when you're first starting will set you up for failure later as far as pandering to people or writing for these rowdy rooms or bar rooms.

02:15:12.000 And those things don't work when you go to travel.

02:15:15.000 And so if I didn't have...

02:15:17.000 Like, the internet or all these things to watch to go like, oh, don't worry about this time.

02:15:24.000 Don't worry about this local scene as much because you don't want to be a local act, you know?

02:15:29.000 And that was very helpful for me.

02:15:35.000 That's it.

02:15:36.000 Yeah, no, for me too, man.

02:15:37.000 I know exactly what you're saying.

02:15:38.000 Yeah.

02:15:39.000 Well, listen, man.

02:15:39.000 Let's wrap this bitch up.

02:15:41.000 Thank you for doing this.

02:15:42.000 Let's do that.

02:15:42.000 Tell people, where can they see your special?

02:15:44.000 Oh, they can get it.

02:15:45.000 It's called Giggle Fit.

02:15:46.000 It's available on iTunes, Comedy Central On Demand, Amazon, your Xbox, your PlayStation, anywhere, really.

02:15:54.000 Beautiful.

02:15:54.000 Just find it.

02:15:55.000 And your Twitter handle is?

02:15:57.000 At Ron Funches.

02:15:58.000 I have my podcast getting better.

02:16:00.000 Instagram.

02:16:00.000 Instagram is...

02:16:01.000 Instagram, Ron Funch.

02:16:03.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Ron Funches.

02:16:05.000 Thank you, sir.

02:16:06.000 Appreciate you, man.

02:16:06.000 That was fun.

02:16:07.000 Appreciate you, Joe.

02:16:08.000 Bye!

02:16:09.000 Bye!

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 26, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1273 - Ron Funches

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