In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with a good friend of mine to talk about what it's like to be a podcaster and how to communicate with other people. We talk about the challenges of being on social media, how to deal with feedback, and why it's important to let other people express themselves. We also talk about some of the skills you can develop in order to be able to communicate better with others. I hope you enjoy this episode and that it helps you improve your communication skills. Tweet me and let me know what you think! Timestamps: 0:00 - How do you communicate with others? 6:40 - What do you hold back on? 8:30 - How can I be more honest? 9:15 - How often do I take risks? 11:20 - Should I be a little bit more direct? 13:00 14:00- How do I deal with negative feedback? 15:30- What do I do when I disagree with someone? 16:20- What's the best way to express myself? 17:40- How often should I let someone else express themselves? 18:30 19:15 22:10 - How to communicate? 21:10 What are you going to do when you can't express yourself? 19 - What's your opinion on something? 22 - How should I express yourself better? 23:00 | How to be kinder to someone else? 24: How can you express yourself more effectively? 25:00 + 26:30 | How can someone express themselves on a podcast? 26:00 // 27: Should I let them express themselves more? 27:00 / 28:00 Can you express themselves in a better way? 29:00 & 30: How do they express themselves better on a pod? 30:00 Is it hard to express themselves properly? 35:00 Do you have a good enough idea of how someone else better than I can do that I don't get it? 31:00 What do they have a chance to do that? 36:00 Are you better than me? 32: Is it better than you can I get better at expressing myself better than someone else's thoughts or do I have a better chance of expressing myself more than I do that better than they do that right?
00:00:41.000I try to be pretty honest, but sometimes you're always very aware that you just, I'm not interested in getting roasted or spending a lot of time and energy in a hassle with somebody.
00:00:53.000So I think when I'm doing it, I'm as honest as I can be, but it's also, I'm aware of that.
00:01:03.000I think for me it would just, maybe you'd just be more, even maybe more direct.
00:01:08.000But you're, you know, I think When you sort of say, okay, I'm going to occupy this space professionally that feels good to me and I want it to be overall pretty positive.
00:01:22.000If you're selling something, maybe I'd like to try to sell something positive, but hopefully towards the honest a little bit.
00:02:02.000So I want to do stuff that seems pretty real, but hopefully skewed towards either fun or something positive.
00:02:13.000One of the things that I've recognized from doing a podcast is that some of the frustration when people do lash out, and you're like, this is out of proportion.
00:02:22.000Some of it is due to the fact that it's very frustrating to just not be a part of the conversation if you disagree.
00:02:29.000When you're listening to just the fundamental, the act of listening to someone have a conversation, and something comes up, and you're like...
00:02:54.000I think you've probably been tempered by doing this and have probably looked at it from a lot of different points of view because you have to.
00:03:05.000No, it's been interesting to watch you over the years.
00:03:09.000I think what's interesting is watching you have an interesting place where you sort of keep a level of neutrality, even though you have an opinion.
00:03:20.000So you let other people express themselves, whether it's about a religion or a vaccination or whatever.
00:03:26.000I think that it's been interesting to see you develop that skill even more.
00:03:31.000Well, it's hard for people to express themselves.
00:03:38.000It's harder still if you don't allow them to, if you interject.
00:03:43.000We all know that when you have something you're trying to say and someone talks over you, it's fucking frustrating.
00:03:48.000And when you're trying to formulate these words and then someone butts in and then you lose it, It's hard.
00:03:54.000So that's one of the key skills of learning how to communicate with people that I think a lot of people lose is the ability to listen.
00:04:00.000And also you have to have a good enough memory so you can hold on to what you're going to say and then allow this person to elaborate on their thoughts and then when you give them the respect It's just,
00:05:03.000I'm serious, like sometimes, because I even see it with my own husband.
00:05:08.000We have three daughters, but I mean, especially, you know, when you have a pretty masculine male, I'm always fascinated to watch them navigate their home when they're surrounded by women.
00:05:32.000Yeah, I try to – with girls, it's always – there are always things they're crying about and like, okay, okay, okay, we're going to be fine.
00:05:39.000And, you know, I don't want them to be like me.
00:05:42.000I want them to be themselves and I want them to be girls.
00:05:44.000I want them to be able to be themselves.
00:05:45.000I don't want them to mirror my resilience.
00:05:48.000You know, I want them to be vulnerable if they want to be vulnerable, but – In terms of how I decorate the house, I don't have no say.
00:07:47.000But if I didn't have this place, though, I don't know if I... Traditionally, men had pool halls they could hang out at or gyms that they would hang out in, and they would get their dose of toxic masculinity.
00:08:25.000You know, I think it's nature or God's way of balancing it off.
00:08:28.000They say if guys have elevated body temperature, so athletes, people who train a lot, that they statistically have a greater chance of having daughters, because I think they hot, we call it hot balls, basically, if it kills off the male sperm.
00:10:07.000Because daughters, man, they don't miss a trick.
00:10:09.000And they're on you and they're on their dad like nobody's business.
00:10:12.000Well, my friends that have sons, the way they say it is, it's like you take one of two things.
00:10:16.000Either you have this wild animal that's tearing things apart or you have someone who's screaming and crying about something you don't understand.
00:11:10.000And maybe they have just a different path.
00:11:12.000I always tell my girlfriends, too, it's unfair also to romanticize Like to your friends who either opted not to have children or whatever, met a partner too late or didn't or whatever.
00:11:23.000Because I think it is a really rich...
00:12:18.000She had this romantic idea of like, and I go, you know, first of all, you don't know where the kid is coming from, and then also you have a romantic, I think every parent going into it has a romantic idea.
00:12:30.000I did, and I'm a pretty realistic person of like, I'm going to do all these things right, and we're going to be running in sunflower fields together, and my kids are never going to think my music sucks or I can't drive.
00:12:43.000And then you realize, I had a friend tell me, everyone gets their turn in the barrel.
00:12:47.000No matter what you do, you have to navigate stuff.
00:12:52.000You're going to have to deal with stuff.
00:13:17.000So when are you going to have number two or whatever to somebody?
00:13:19.000It's like, oh, you know that they're behind closed doors doing, you know, like, they just want everyone to be in the psychoticness with them.
00:15:05.000I think for me it's been a real surrender because I just think – you think you're in control of stuff and you think, oh, I've got some discipline and work ethic.
00:15:14.000I can just work my way through it or power my way through it.
00:15:17.000And then you realize, like, no, you have to surrender.
00:15:21.000And also it's not just about solving it quickly and – Yeah, it is.
00:15:28.000I know myself certainly better, but also it forces you, if you're willing to, to really expand.
00:15:36.000Well, I've been really fascinated by the life that you guys live in Hawaii.
00:15:43.000Because I've always had this idealized, like one day, move to the big island, just chill on the side of a mountain, stop fucking around, fly out to do gigs, but live out there where everything's just more relaxed.
00:16:25.000And I grew up in St. Thomas on the Virgin Islands, so I was used to kind of being on an island, but you're with yourself a lot.
00:16:35.000So if you have things to do that are, you know, productive, then it's perfect.
00:16:42.000But what you have to always calibrate is, like, the downtime, or, like, it's been raining off and on for, like, over a year on Kauai, and Whoa.
00:18:58.000So you have, like, this very intense love and, you know, when they talk about the aloha spirit, generosity, like this, and then they're very powerful people as well.
00:19:12.000And sometimes, if they're not living in their most natural way that they were supposed to, and then you couple it with, you know, there's not a ton of opportunities there.
00:20:18.000You know, it can go the other way pretty quick, where it's, you know, if there's drugs and alcohol or, you know, beefing and, like, it's all that.
00:20:37.000Think about when your kids have to stay home for one day.
00:20:40.000And now we have all the internet and all this stuff, so now you sort of think, oh, the rest of the world has a perfect, they're all busy and doing fabulous, perfect things.
00:22:53.000I've found that there's a big difference between the culture of, say, Maui versus the culture of Lanai.
00:23:00.000Lanai is more island-y to me, whereas Maui seems a little bit gentrified.
00:23:06.000Well, also the wind, because Maui's so windy, it brought all the Europeans in the 80s to windsurf.
00:23:12.000So you also have not only mainland U.S. and then Japanese culture, you know, 80s, now you're talking about Europeans for wind and windsurfing.
00:24:19.000And then about, I don't know, seven and a half, eight minutes in, And he starts to get this look on his face like, oh yeah, I'm in the house with the family.
00:24:30.000I wanted to do a book years ago called Death by Domestication because it's like, how does he manage both of those sides?
00:24:43.000Scare myself and do all this stuff and then comes home and is on the floor laying with one of my daughters and being attentive and a great husband and all these things.
00:24:55.000But I always get amused a little bit by the push-pull.
00:24:58.000Yeah, well, especially I think with the big wave surfer mindset, like a type of person, those are like some of the freest, wildest humans on the planet.
00:25:08.000It's a very unusual group of people that rides giant waves of water on the top of the ocean.
00:25:15.000I mean, that's a crazy thing to dedicate your time to.
00:26:22.000And now that, I mean, he's been foiling for 25 years, but now that they are getting that equipment better, it's sort of like, now we can ride places that we couldn't ride, that were not really attractive for riding on top of the surface of the water, even if you towed it.
00:26:37.000So now it's opened up a whole other pursuit for him.
00:26:50.000And like being on the back of a ski with him driving, there's a moment where you go, okay, I actually, and I'm sure you've experienced this with other friends that take you maybe on a flying or something.
00:29:58.000So, like, they can go, there's a wave on Kauai where they're going over, you know, 50, they go about 50, they can get up to 52 miles an hour.
00:30:08.000So imagine if you did something, well you've dedicated yourself to martial arts, but then there's a new way to do it.
00:30:16.000And so he's been doing the big stuff for 25 years, but now they're getting the equipment right that he can ride, ways that actually wouldn't be that great, but now they're super fun.
00:31:42.000When you're riding that thing and there's the little airplane under the water, is there any risk of something thinking that airplane is a fish?
00:31:55.000I mean, I know sharks don't have great vision, and I think Laird has hit a turtle, not done anything but grazed it or something, but those animals are pretty smart.
00:36:35.000They needed to see it in a digestible form.
00:36:37.000Instead of having to go seek it out and read articles about it and news reports, instead of that, they get to see it in a very digestible form.
00:37:58.000Well, I was listening to my friend Steven Ranella's podcast, and he was talking about the difference in the orcas in the Puget Sound, and that there are local orcas, which are essentially salmon specialists, and they don't eat animals, they don't eat marine mammals,
00:38:14.000but then there are other ones that travel into the area, and they are marine mammal specialists.
00:38:20.000So all they eat is like seals and things along those lines, and they have a totally different...
00:40:26.000Most of it is people seeing shadows in the trees and they want to believe it's Bigfoot and they're seeing bears that are walking on two legs.
00:40:33.000But if there was a thing, what's really interesting is that's where it would be.
00:40:37.000Because if it did come across the bearing land bridge like they believe humans did...
00:40:43.000If that did happen, the many animals navigated from there to here that way, that's where Alaska and the Pacific Northwest, that would be the natural path.
00:40:55.000And then if you think about how densely wooded that area is, that would be a natural habitat for something that's hiding from people.
00:41:01.000The problem is you can't really hide from shit anymore.
00:44:17.000Yeah, well, yeah, it's just one sort of step, just a deeper step when you do a little bit intermittent fasting is if you don't start the digestive process, so if you just had, you can have water and caffeine, you can't have fats and things like that.
00:44:36.000The theory is that whatever cell dysfunction you have, you kind of can rinse out kind of three times the amount, the process of when you do intermittent fasting.
00:44:48.000So it can be a really effective way when you're intermittent fasting to say, okay, I'm going to pick this four-hour window.
00:44:55.000For most people, it would probably be between like three and seven or two and six.
00:45:00.000And I'm going to eat, and then the rest of the time, I'm not going to.
00:47:10.000It's just, you know, try not to use it so much.
00:47:13.000Well, they say that for people that are in, like, competitive eating competitions, too, that, like, you can still eat fries, because fries are, you don't like fries?
00:47:20.000No, I just had the vision of a guy shoving it in the water, and then the bun and the hot dog, and then, like, you know, squeezing it down.
00:48:01.000You know, if you have any, like, thing out on the counter that's snackish, like, you have it for the kids, right?
00:48:05.000And you have friends that come to visit and say hi, and they're kind of fidgety, and all of a sudden they're just, like, eating everything, and you just look at them like, bro, like, you're in a constant food thing, like, trance, snack it, like, don't have snacky, you know, anything around.
00:52:23.000They drop all the way down to the bottom and then let their knees go to full bend and then with their butt to their heels and then jump right back up.
00:52:34.000And pop out of the water, get a deep breath, and then go right back down again.
00:52:38.000So you're constantly leaping through the water to go to the surface again.
00:54:38.000You know, he, you know, he says that everything he does, like his relationships, what he reads, what he eats, what he spends time doing is all to enhance him to perform.
00:54:52.000And his, you know, a ton of people like this, his ability to deal with discomfort, he has a very good relationship with discomfort.
00:54:59.000So his training and stuff, it's, A lot of those guys wind up injuring themselves because of that mental toughness.
00:58:54.000Yeah, so that was sort of, I think that's what's interesting about being, when these people go, oh, I'm an athlete.
00:59:00.000And then it's like, and some days, I'm sure you feel this way.
00:59:04.000It's like, I feel so unathletic or so...
00:59:12.000I have friends that came into training late and all their joints are all perfect and they work perfectly.
00:59:20.000Sometimes I've felt a little bit beat up.
00:59:23.000Laird's been beat up a lot, but he kind of trains his way out of it big time.
00:59:28.000Now, when you guys are on Kauai, is there a lot of resources in terms of places to train or physical therapists or any of that kind of stuff?
01:00:19.000But don't you think, like, when I go to New York City with Laird, he looks there and he looks at the buildings and he's like, why do people do this to themselves?
01:00:25.000Like, we've gotten twisted around, like, you're like, Kauai, what a weird place to live.
01:00:54.000I mean, you know, they navigated there and they said that the water sea level was lower so that they could see more land when the Polynesians sailed there, but it's a pretty interesting contrast to living in Malibu,
01:01:24.000Yeah, and when you have a family, like when our kids were young, it's like you're doing the same thing.
01:01:28.000You're taking them places, you're making dinners, you're making lunches.
01:01:30.000So in a way, you're just doing sort of everyday things in a really pretty place.
01:01:35.000And also, you probably live a little simpler.
01:01:37.000It's got to be better for you in terms of like the amount of stress that you experience and the beauty of nature is very calming and soothing and probably therapeutic and beneficial.
01:01:52.000I mean, this has been the thing for me.
01:01:54.000It's like, you could have all that at your access, but if you haven't dealt with yourself, or if you feel miserable, it sort of doesn't really matter.
01:02:04.000And I think that that kind of place points it out really quick.
01:02:07.000Where when you live in a busy place, you can distract yourself from yourself, and you can be like, oh, there's traffic, and I have stuff to do, and I'm busy.
01:02:21.000You sort of have to go, oh, that's right.
01:02:24.000So it's an interesting thing of when we talk about health or beautiful places and things like that, it still always comes back to yourself.
01:05:33.000I think that they go flip and flop between feeling like the adults are poorly behaved and they're left to the pile of, you know, of our bad decisions.
01:05:46.000And also, like, my one daughter's like, do you think it'd be okay to be like a militant environmentalist?
01:05:52.000You know, and she's like six feet tall, and I'm like, that'd be fantastic.
01:06:17.000They say that they give more, they volunteer more.
01:06:22.000I think the tricky thing for them is going to be connection and being able to be connected and being able to have real conversation and even be able to concentrate long enough to be with somebody.
01:07:27.000And that is just so disturbing when you see the amount of, especially young girls that are growing up depressed, cutting themselves, self-harm.
01:08:21.000I understand that gaming is different for boys and pornography and things like that and that whole trip of rewiring their brain.
01:08:28.000But I think with girls, it's like How do you get them to hear their own voice?
01:08:38.000I don't know how they're going to get to a place where they...
01:08:40.000It's like this weird mishmash of like, me too, and then never before have people objectified themselves more because they get that positive affirmation.
01:08:52.000I always say, if I put out really smart ideas, if I'm a young woman, Oh, I have a thousand followers.
01:09:02.000So we have this mixed message going on, which is like...
01:09:06.000I'm angry, me too, treat me equal simultaneously to I'm going to objectify myself in the most hardcore way more than in any time in history.
01:09:18.000And it's really, for me as a female who understands both those sides a little bit, it kind of trips me out.
01:09:27.000Because I don't think, like, those girls, you know, playing that card and no violence should be done to you, and I agree with all of that, and no is no, and all of that.
01:09:37.000But at a certain point, you know, like, you've had Jordan Peterson on here many times, it's like, biological signaling, it's like, play a side, at least.
01:10:36.000But for me, it's like, culturally, I feel like I'm this weird mix of like the most, I came through at the most modern time, like women went to school and on scholarships and like we, there was no thought to being like strong, not really.
01:10:53.000And then, but then weirdly, it's like I feel so kind of old-fashioned when I see kind of this next thing.
01:10:59.000Because I'm like, well, strong for me was something else.
01:11:01.000Strong was like you were really physically strong, trying to have a strong mind, you know, strong basis of a person.
01:11:10.000And then, okay, then there was this other side, like your femininity, your sexuality, all this other stuff.
01:11:18.000Well, there's certainly a bunch of different kinds of people, right?
01:11:20.000And there's going to be people that gravitate towards objectifying themselves.
01:11:24.000There's going to be people that gravitate in this day and age towards...
01:11:27.000You see a lot of people's pages are just filled with motivational quotes and inspirational things and stories about people that they meet and photos.
01:11:36.000You get a lot of people that are attracted to that kind of stuff, too.
01:11:39.000It's just you're not going to get the immediate gratification of a picture of your ass.
01:11:43.000That picture of your ass that gets 100,000 likes, you're like, wow, look at all those likes.
01:11:54.000Are you trying to accurately express how you feel and work it out through communicating with people and figure out how they react to what you're saying and how you feel about how other people say similar things and how it does good things for you and you want to do good things for them?
01:14:52.000Well, I guess we'd have to ask men of that generation if, let's say they had two groups of women and one that was like perfectly coiffed with the lip injection.
01:15:54.000Well, it's also that there's never been a time, like I had a bit on one of my Netflix specials about this girl who's got just pictures of her ass.
01:16:02.000She had like 9 million followers on Instagram.
01:16:04.000I'm like, there's never been a person like this before.
01:16:13.000This girl just has pictures of her butt, and she's got millions of people staring at her all day long, and every day is just new pictures of her butt.
01:16:53.000But if you have a girl who has, let's say some of these girls have millions and millions of followers, and they're making millions of dollars.
01:17:07.000If you have a great ass and you like working out anyway and you just want to take pictures of it and all of a sudden you have 25 million followers, like, damn.
01:17:56.000I would do it just to have the conversations.
01:17:59.000Maybe I wouldn't do it as much, but I would definitely do it.
01:18:02.000If someone said, hey, every few months a physicist will come in here and sit down with you for three hours, they'll be like, yeah, let's do it.
01:18:17.000And so I guess that is the conversation because we always have this thing, this obvious thing of like success is it either is notoriety, it's power, it's money, and then we forget those other communications about like the pursuit of something that really genuinely turns you on.
01:18:34.000Well, I think people get short-sighted, and you definitely can get success where you just have money, and you just have objects, and you have notoriety, and people will view it as success.
01:18:44.000But if you're not doing what you love, it's not pure success.
01:18:48.000Like, if you really find something that you enjoy doing, and then you take that, like Laird has with surfing, or many people have with their passions, and then you become successful through that, it's a different existence, because it's a pure existence.
01:19:03.000When I do stand-up comedy or if I do commentary for the UFC, it's a pure enthusiasm.
01:19:45.000And I think that, I guess for me, that's maybe when I see the thing with the girls, and like I said, feeling sensitive to it because I have daughters, or just young people in general, it's that conversation of like, you know, just keeping that definition of success open.
01:21:10.000And I think that's something that, for me, with my girls, it's like, hey, just try to work really hard and hear your own voice and follow that if you can.
01:21:24.000You're also a person who's had that opinion reinforced through vigorous work over the years.
01:21:31.000I mean, you're a super successful competitive athlete, which is one of the most difficult things for a person to do, to force your body to perform better than everybody else's, figure a way to win, figure a way to get points scored,
01:21:46.000figure a way where all these other people who are also high-level athletes are trying to stop you from doing it.
01:22:18.000There's times, not my youngest and less my oldest, but my middle went through a phase where it was like she was almost like, I'm going to knock her off her...
01:22:37.000And, you know, she's a big, strong kid, but then I think she realized, like, oh, no, no, no, this is more about me finding my own real estate.
01:22:45.000Like, my mom did that because that was what my mom had to do and what she was good at, and that was my thing.
01:22:53.000But there was a minute that I think, listen, no kid looks at their parent that they actually live with, by the way, and is like, yeah, they're cool.
01:24:40.000And he said he had this image of like a skeleton like on the rock, you know, like with the water just pounding on it, you know, like the clothes all messed up.
01:24:47.000And he said he moved his foot and wiggled his foot and his whole body slipped out.
01:26:45.000I just click over a little bit into my mail.
01:26:47.000Like, okay, if I can drive this car and maybe I'm going to drive a little faster and like, let's go.
01:26:54.000And within three minutes, somehow, all the things I said I wasn't going to get lured into, nothing, I'm going to wiggle my foot, all this like philosophical stuff.
01:27:13.000She's my only kid that gets me like this.
01:27:15.000And it's literally like if you went into a restaurant and you said, okay, I'm not going to order the lasagna and the hamburger and the double fries with the chili sauce.
01:27:24.000And you walk in and you go, I'll take the lasagna, the hamburger.
01:27:27.000It's like the one thing I said I wasn't going to do.
01:28:41.000Parents don't think it's cute to take six-year-olds and think, oh, it's so sweet, we'll get them.
01:28:47.000Well, they'll ride horses, because then they fall in love with horses, and then they want better horses, and then they want pretty horse pants, and then the boots.
01:28:56.000My buddy's daughter's deep in the horse game.
01:29:53.000And then the other thing I've tried is, doesn't it irritate you if you were on a horse and you were more talented as an athlete or you had trained harder but your horse wasn't as good so you couldn't win?
01:30:07.000And she just looks at me like, I'm going to ride this out.
01:32:37.000I have – as much as I used to think I was so in charge of so many things – I think being in a long relationship, I've been with Laird almost 24 years, it's like you start to learn like, oh, okay,
01:32:53.000I can impact you, I can influence you, I can support you, I can love you, I could try to inspire you, but I'm not here to...
01:33:06.000It's like, even as a parent, like, I'm not here to control anyone.
01:33:09.000And that's a hard thing, because when you get a little baby, you control it.
01:34:13.000So what kids are thinking about is like playing and being in nature and like developing also a toughness to them that maybe like city kids have it different, you know, because like they're barefoot and they're like climbing trees and they're throwing rocks at each other and it's just like a little more rough and tumble.
01:34:31.000So when they're little, Kauai is certainly easier.
01:34:34.000And then as they get older, that's where we're sort of at now.
01:34:37.000It's like you've got to adapt and put these kids...
01:34:40.000Give them a launching pad, if you will.
01:34:43.000Because the problem is, like, and I went through this growing up on an island, it's like, you don't know all that's out there to dream to do.
01:34:52.000And it's, even if it's, you know, everything in life, it's so true about, like, being, like, the alchemist.
01:34:58.000It's like, he went out into the world, he's done all this stuff, and there's certain things we're doing and projects right back onto Kauai, And so there's always going to be that element probably of I went and I did all these things.
01:35:47.000And I think that's what I was talking about, success, is sometimes we have all this, you know, kind of bells and whistles and attention around getting attention.
01:35:56.000And I think people don't realize that getting attention, I mean, you know this for yourself, it's like, yeah, it's great, but what is it, like, what is it really, and when you close the doors and you're hanging with your people that you're close to, it's like, You know, what's making you excited for real?
01:36:13.000And who loves you for real in that way of like, it's great if people appreciate your work, that always feels good.
01:36:19.000But if you're doing it for your real reasons, then I already think that is a real success.
01:36:40.000Yeah, and guiding a child into that direction, trying to set them up in a way that they view their life as kind of a project.
01:36:49.000And the most enjoyment you're going to get is find a thing that excites you.
01:36:55.000Find a thing that you really get inspired by.
01:36:59.000Whatever the fuck it is, it's going to be different for you than it is for me.
01:37:02.000You got to find out what that thing is, but it's all the same thing.
01:37:04.000Once you find out what that thing is and that thing genuinely gels with your personality and your likes and your passion, just run with it.
01:37:15.000I think that's the other thing is also we get to find like, okay, you were doing this one job and then it's like, okay, but that job is over.
01:37:24.000It's like being an athlete or a competing competitive athlete on an organized platform.
01:38:13.000Who am I? And then off of this, as far as whether you're older or younger or in one part of your career or not, you still can always be the essence of yourself.
01:38:26.000And then it's like, oh, and now right now I'm doing this.
01:38:32.000But I'm not for all time just a volleyball player.
01:38:36.000Fighters have a huge problem with that.
01:38:38.000They identify as being fighters so much that once they retire, almost all of them, except for a small percentage, almost all of them come back because they miss it so much.
01:38:50.000They miss the excitement and the thrill, and they don't know who they are without that pursuit.
01:38:56.000The pursuit is training camp, getting ready.
01:38:58.000And when they don't have that for a long time, it just starts really chipping away at them.
01:39:03.000Well, and I think, too, the amount of focus it takes to be really good at that kind of stuff, or to run a company or anything, it makes sense why it's so hard to try to diversify while you're doing that.
01:39:17.000It is really hard, but I think it's important to quietly keep that voice inside your head going, yeah, but who are you?
01:39:44.000I mean, like, grow up in a way that, like, maybe you change your ideas and the way you do things.
01:39:50.000And, you know, I was telling Laird I was in this situation this week where Something had gone down and I didn't like the way it had gone down.
01:40:49.000Well, I think ultimately for a person who's experienced athletic highs and the highs of accomplishments but also understands real personal struggle, that's when, like a person like you, you've experienced so many different things that you can understand what's actually beneficial towards you.
01:41:34.000Like, how do I get the highest ideas, the biggest ideas, you know, whether it's like dealing with ego or whatever, get the biggest ideas and then get everything else pretty stripped down, pretty simple.
01:42:22.000And you don't want that for them, but I think, you know, that's something I've really learned, is like, God, it's a bummer that you have to go through that, and it's hard to watch, and I don't want you to, and that's okay, too, because that's part of...
01:42:34.000It's really cool, though, to see them come out on the other end and then talk to you about it.
01:42:38.000Oh, it's not bothering me so much anymore.
01:45:26.000They're watching, but they don't listen.
01:45:28.000You'd think in a way Laird and I could be sort of maybe imposing parents in some way, and I'm telling you, they are not, they don't, it doesn't, they look at us like, what do you got?
01:47:12.000So I just think, I don't know, I just think, I think I've surrendered to the idea of them listening, and I've just tried to show them the best example.
01:47:21.000And they are intelligent people that I have faith in will arrive at their own conclusion.
01:47:28.000And by the way, They may make other choices.
01:50:34.000And so we had that like within six months after.
01:50:36.000So I think he's always, and I think, you know, listen, when people do things in nature like rock climbers or big wave surfers or whatever, they're more in tune with the fact that like stuff does go wrong.
01:50:46.000And so they're not assuming that it's always going to be as it always is.
01:50:50.000Do you get hit with big storms out there?
01:53:17.000What are you, like, the ninth largest economy in the world?
01:53:20.000Yeah, I told them when we had this whole thing with all the Mexican, you know, the Mexican, you know, whatever, non-illegal, whatever, I said, I have a friend of mine who, he's from here, but he's from Mexico, and I said, you should band together.
01:53:36.000You have the ninth largest economy in the world.
01:53:40.000And get together and have demands because you're helping run the ninth largest economy in the world.
01:53:46.000Well, that's what's hilarious about people that want the immigrants to go back to Mexico.
01:53:50.000Listen, stupid, this thing would fall apart.
01:54:50.000Yeah, but if you're just an American citizen at fucking Home Depot, you're not supposed to get harassed by some guy who thinks you might be Mexican because you're brown.
01:56:54.000Well, if you're really used to that environment, too, where everybody is accountable, and then you see these just assholes beeping and sticking the finger at people.
01:57:01.000And also, if you really said, okay, let's go outside, they'd be like, I'm going to get a lawyer.
01:57:05.000I think for him, that's the weird twisty part.
01:57:07.000It's like, in Hawaii, if they say it, it's like, okay, let's go.
01:57:10.000At least it's like, okay, I'm going to stand up to own the words I say and everything.
01:57:15.000Here, it's like, if you go, okay, and they go, you know...
01:57:53.000There's also a lot of fighters come out of Hawaii.
01:57:56.000Well, because it's a fighting, it's a warrior culture.
01:57:59.000So, you know, like, uncles slap boys' heads, and it's also now, because of the Brazilian influence coming in, now you've got, you know, jiu-jitsu, and also, think about this, they're pretty strong,
01:58:37.000So there's, like, a playfulness, but also, like, oh, we're gonna...
01:58:41.000Do you notice a big difference between, like, female athletes and male athletes?
01:58:45.000Like, okay, because fighting is a pretty...
01:58:49.000I don't want to say exaggerated, but it's an interesting thing where you have men and women kind of differently but doing the same thing, if you will.
01:58:59.000Do you notice a difference in their mentality?
01:59:32.000He's very on one side of it, and then there's guys like Conor McGregor, who's also his training partner, who's on a completely different side of it.
01:59:40.000He's screaming and yelling, talking shit to everybody, and that's part of his flair.
01:59:48.000Some girls are brash and outrageous and they get in other girls' faces and put their knuckles on their nose and they're at the stare down and other girls bow and they hug and they take selfies together.
01:59:58.000It's like everyone has their own sort of approach to it.
02:00:04.000Fighting intrigues me in that I think it's interesting that you're trying to be offensive and defensive at the same time, dealing with fear, like all these things happening simultaneously.
02:00:15.000And I then take it, I look at it one step further with a female because...
02:00:24.000I'm interested to know if a female can fight from not a non-emotional place, but without her emotion.
02:00:34.000Like, just like, okay, I'm in my male, I'm in my athlete, and I'm not going to be like, oh, she didn't just kick me in the ear, you know, and like freak out, you know what I mean?
02:00:45.000Because I think about myself and I'd be like, ugh.
02:00:48.000You know, like, I've only been in one fight my whole life, and the girl hit me in the face, and when I saw my blood, I was like, oh, no, she did not just hit me in the face, you know, and then went crazy.
02:00:58.000But if these girls could be like, because they're so well trained as an athlete, how that can supersede, like, or override, actually, like, this feminine impulse of, like...
02:02:07.000It's just the smart thing to do is to fight Right.
02:02:28.000I think it's interesting, though, those sports where there is that, I mean, listen, versions of it is football, you know, living with Laird, obviously, you know, he always says he appreciates Mother Nature because it's like you make good decisions, you're rewarded,
02:02:43.000you make bad decisions, you pay a price.
02:02:46.000But I think it is very interesting when you have two humans strategically trying to deconstruct one another.
02:02:55.000The chess, the physical chess that goes on, like looking at it from another athlete's point of view, I think it's a unique person that wants to put themselves in that situation.
02:03:08.000I understand almost like a surfer and a wave and a rock climber and a mountain.
02:05:30.000Like, there's certain heavyweights and they hit guys and they get knocked unconscious, whether it's Francis Ngannou or Stipe Miocic or these big guys and they slam someone.
02:06:58.000And if you're really smart and you're managing yourself and your health and your well-being and your melon and everything else, you could ride a really long time.
02:07:06.000Yeah, that's a big difference between that and a competitive fighter.
02:07:08.00055 years of age, you aren't doing shit.
02:07:11.000Can you imagine getting hit over and over?
02:07:36.000Because I feel like Laird is, like, I, in this way of, like, when you live with somebody that's sort of, you know, it's like, I mean, you have a partner.
02:07:45.000It's like, in ways, they're a reference to you, in certain ways.
02:07:49.000And so, like, living with him and you're referencing him as an athlete, you're just like, oh, man, I gotta get busy.
02:08:06.000A lot of times I'll train because I'm like, hey, I know how good I feel when I'm done and it's important and I have other stuff I need to do, but I'm going to get it in.
02:08:15.000And for a guy like that, it's just like...
02:08:18.000What would it be like if I took an 80-pound dumbbell and sat at the bottom of the pool for a minute and then tried to do 15?
02:08:23.000You know, it's just like he also has a creative approach.
02:09:57.000And then, it was actually one of my daughters, she might have been like six or seven at the time, maybe younger, and she would swim to the surface with a dumbbell.
02:10:04.000And Laird's like, oh, what if we made, you had reps?
02:10:07.000And you do sequencing where you're on an exhale or on an inhale or whatever.
02:10:26.000I think for people who train, that's the whole thing is how do you keep modifying?
02:10:29.000Do you get locked in on your training or do you keep going, okay, I've heard you talk about like, oh, I've added yoga and all these things.
02:10:37.000That's the other thing is you get pretty good at something, but now how do you keep kind of adding?
02:10:41.000Doing things that you're sort of unsure, you're uncomfortable, you're not good at.
02:10:45.000I think that that's always been easier for Laird than me.
02:10:48.000I've always sort of been like, well, no, I'm good over here.
02:11:48.000Or I'm going to do multiple series of heat and ice.
02:11:51.000Like some days he'll go and just do three rounds in the sauna and three rounds on the ice.
02:11:55.000Or I'm going to do 35 or 45 minutes of breathing, you know, recovery breathing, things like that to really oxygenate the tissue in the cells and things like that.
02:12:55.000Laird uses an oximeter, like if he does breathing, to see if he can get himself up to altitude.
02:13:03.000So he'll use that to measure and things like that.
02:13:06.000But I think once you do something a really, really long time...
02:13:11.000You sort of go, am I on the edge or aren't I? He'll use electronics more for speed and distance.
02:13:18.000He'll put it on his boards and be like, okay, we went X miles and the peak speed was, whatever, 50 miles an hour.
02:13:26.000So he'll use it more for that to measure distance on how many miles he rode each day on the water, but not necessarily micromanaging things.
02:13:54.000Yeah, I would think that things like heart rate variability, finding out if you're recovering correctly, whether or not your heart rate varies in the morning, day to day.
02:14:04.000But yeah, that makes a big difference if you're doing something like Michael Phelps or something like that.
02:14:09.000I think so, or track athlete, where it's all these milliseconds.
02:14:12.000I think for Laird, it's like, I feel good today, and I'm going to go.
02:15:25.000And as a parent, just kind of going like, I'm here to love you, I'm here to support you, and I'm also going to recognize that you're probably not going to always do it, hardly ever actually, the way I think you should or I want you to.
02:15:39.000So what made you guys start putting together the coffee and the superfood supplements and all that jazz?
02:15:56.000And then what happened is Paul Cech...
02:15:59.000I don't know, 16 years ago, gave him ghee in his coffee.
02:16:03.000And the two of those animals would be like down in the coffee well getting all jacked up on caffeine and I'd be standing in the gym waiting for them being like, oh my god, like hanging out with these two, you know, for the next two hours.
02:16:50.000And it wasn't with the intention of having a business.
02:16:53.000And then before you know it, it came out.
02:16:56.000And so then we have like original creamer with unsweetened, there's turmeric, there's hydrate products.
02:17:04.000You know, it's all based on things that Laird really eats and uses.
02:17:09.000And, you know, mushroom blends that I actually put, that's how I do my coffee in the morning is I put that in and do that.
02:17:15.000So, you know, that's another good example of like, if you're doing something because you really believe in it and really, and that business has, we're really fortunate.
02:17:25.000It's, we have a factory in Sisters, Oregon, and they built another one and Oh, wow.
02:17:31.000Yeah, no, it's, we have no, like, they do everything, like, no co-packing partners, we do it, and now we're looking into farming ingredients and doing a drying factory so we can do that and put that into the product and things like that, so...
02:17:45.000I think it started from a genuine passion and came into that.
02:17:50.000I always say, too, I was playing volleyball in college at 17, and then I started working and was doing other jobs by 18 or 19. But Laird, his path has been really different.
02:18:50.000I feel it, and I'm going to just keep following that feeling.
02:18:54.000And it doesn't always lead to some grand destination, but maybe those lessons and that place lead you to the next, which could be a place that brings you other things.
02:19:07.000So, yeah, these businesses are just a natural byproduct of our lifestyle, but it's pretty great.
02:21:16.000But if you couple it with ice, you're sort of grateful for the 220. So I would turn it, I'd try to turn it down to like 120. And inevitably, the next day, when it was our real life saunaing, Laird's like, who's been messing with the dial in my sauna?
02:22:38.000Yeah, no, and I get that too, but I think it's just knowing, I think this is important in all things in life, because we like something, not maybe for me because I do really like this, is just because we like something doesn't mean we have to do that too.
02:22:53.000Like, I think it's still, like, drilling down on, you know, what do you want to do?
02:22:58.000Like, because when I hear you, you go from a comedian to, like, a scientist, a physicist to, you know, it's like, it shows your genuine passions in all these areas.
02:23:15.000I'm so interested in how people, if they can arrive at any place where there's a sense of joy moving in and out of their life and self-care.
02:23:25.000Because I think when people talk about health and fitness or wellness, I think they're off the mark about what it really is.
02:23:32.000I think for me, what I've learned is like, I train and eat well just so I have a fighting chance to support any kind of happiness.
02:23:42.000And it isn't just about like, I'm ripped.
02:23:45.000You know, not me, but like this notion of what people are putting out there that fitness is.
02:23:51.000But if you still haven't figured out some of these other things as a person, it's like, I don't know, it seems like you're wrestling the wrong things.
02:23:59.000So I'm always really interested in, and also, Not only how they get it done, but also not making it seem like it's so easy.
02:24:10.000I always joke when people do interviews and they go, how are your children?
02:26:26.000But I feel like the pursuit of trying to be one's best self is probably worth spending some time on.
02:26:38.000You appreciate your existence more, I think, when you are on that path.
02:26:43.000I think so, and I think especially when you've had the opportunity also to do a lot of really cool stuff, I almost think it becomes a responsibility because you're not fighting certain fights.
02:26:54.000Like, certain battles, you don't even have, like, I don't have to, I have three jobs, but I chose three jobs.
02:27:01.000It's not like you're just trying to survive.
02:27:05.000Like, those people, it's like, hey, I get it.
02:27:08.000But I feel like if you go like, hey, I got to do that and this and this, it's like, yeah, cool, what are you doing?
02:27:42.000This is what my ultimate hope would be, is that somehow, and this is, I think, why I love your show, because I hear it over and over, and you don't say it per se of saying it, but it's there always in an underlying way.