The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1287

00:00:00.000 Believe in wireless.

00:00:01.000 He needs to see it.

00:00:04.000 Boom!

00:00:04.000 And we're live.

00:00:05.000 What's up, Rich?

00:00:05.000 How are you, man?

00:00:05.000 What's poppin', baby?

00:00:06.000 What's going on, man?

00:00:06.000 Thanks for doing this.

00:00:07.000 I really appreciate it.

00:00:08.000 Dude, thank you for having me on this show, man.

00:00:10.000 Well, I read about you, a fellow Boston native, and I read about your Tesla journey, and I was like, this is a fucking interesting story.

00:00:18.000 This guy buys a broken Tesla, and then you couldn't get parts for it anywhere.

00:00:23.000 Nope.

00:00:24.000 So what had happened to the car?

00:00:25.000 Had it been in an accident?

00:00:26.000 No, so I met the previous owner and he actually, I think it was during Hurricane Sandy.

00:00:32.000 He thought that, he goes, wait a minute, that water level seems low enough for me to drive through it.

00:00:37.000 And he just started driving through the water.

00:00:39.000 I think it got up to like the, almost like the B pillar.

00:00:41.000 Oh no.

00:00:42.000 Up to like where his neck is, yeah.

00:00:43.000 Jesus Christ.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, I know, right?

00:00:45.000 So he thought he could fight the water.

00:00:46.000 He lost, obviously.

00:00:48.000 And it was just underwater.

00:00:50.000 And I'm like, you know what, I got to try this thing.

00:00:51.000 And so what would Tesla do in that situation?

00:00:54.000 If he wanted to bring it back to them, they would have to rebuild the entire car?

00:00:57.000 They wouldn't even do it because at that point, once anything liquid, you know, any kind of like water intrusion happens in an EV, they just write the whole car off.

00:01:05.000 Insurance companies just like, we're not going to deal with this.

00:01:07.000 Too risky.

00:01:08.000 It's not worth it.

00:01:09.000 Were you aware of the Fisker dilemma at Hurricane Sandy when they had the Fiskers that were parked at some sort of a dock where they brought them off the ship?

00:01:21.000 They all exploded.

00:01:22.000 Yeah, they all burned.

00:01:22.000 The water level rose and the water got into them and they just went off like fucking fireworks.

00:01:28.000 And they lost a whole bunch of them.

00:01:29.000 Look, there's a video of it.

00:01:31.000 You can watch the video of them fucking blowing up.

00:01:33.000 So as the water level rose, you can see the water breaching.

00:01:37.000 Well, the water gets to the cars, and when it gets to the cars, they just start going off like fucking fireworks.

00:01:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:43.000 I know that feeling.

00:01:44.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:44.000 There it goes.

00:01:45.000 Look at that.

00:01:45.000 Boom!

00:01:46.000 Boom!

00:01:47.000 Boom!

00:01:47.000 Oh, damn.

00:01:48.000 Look at that shit!

00:01:50.000 Dude!

00:01:51.000 Oh, it's like a supernova.

00:01:52.000 I mean, those are big-ass fucking batteries just blowing the fuck up.

00:01:56.000 That's insane!

00:01:57.000 That turns night into day.

00:01:59.000 That's amazing.

00:02:00.000 How many?

00:02:00.000 They lost like 40 cars up there?

00:02:02.000 They lost a fuckload.

00:02:03.000 And the company essentially went, they went radioed silent for like a year.

00:02:07.000 That's a big L to take.

00:02:08.000 Yeah, they took a hit.

00:02:10.000 Once people realized their car could just explode.

00:02:13.000 Yeah, that's not good.

00:02:14.000 What happened?

00:02:16.000 I didn't look at the name of the video.

00:02:17.000 It popped up when I typed in the Fisker explosion, but this was the explosion of the Con Ed plant.

00:02:22.000 Oh, that's a big difference.

00:02:24.000 I was like, what the fuck is in those cars?

00:02:29.000 But there is a video of the actual Fiskers exploding, isn't there?

00:02:32.000 I think there's definitely pictures.

00:02:34.000 I have a feeling the second video won't be as exciting now.

00:02:36.000 Yeah, let's leave it off.

00:02:38.000 Fuck it.

00:02:39.000 More misinformation.

00:02:41.000 Just set us back an hour.

00:02:41.000 Yeah, so that's the cars.

00:02:42.000 That's what was left of them.

00:02:44.000 Wow.

00:02:44.000 And they all fucking blew up.

00:02:46.000 It's a beautiful car, though.

00:02:47.000 Fisker did a great job of making a car that looks really good.

00:02:51.000 Right, but you know what's funny?

00:02:52.000 I... I think the back end's kind of ugly.

00:02:54.000 Do you?

00:02:55.000 I think the front looks like a fish.

00:02:56.000 The back's kind of ugly.

00:02:57.000 And then actually, have you ever driven one?

00:02:58.000 No.

00:02:59.000 Ever been in one?

00:02:59.000 No.

00:03:00.000 When you drive one, you'll be like, ah, I get why this didn't work out.

00:03:03.000 Well, Justin Bieber had an all-chrome one.

00:03:05.000 I remember that.

00:03:06.000 Yeah.

00:03:07.000 Does he still have it, though?

00:03:08.000 Does he still have it?

00:03:09.000 He probably doesn't even know.

00:03:10.000 Yeah, he probably doesn't know at this point.

00:03:12.000 You know, the amount of money that dude must have?

00:03:14.000 Yeah.

00:03:14.000 He probably has no idea if he has that car.

00:03:15.000 No kidding.

00:03:16.000 He's got it tucked away somewhere.

00:03:18.000 But what do they drive like?

00:03:20.000 They're just not really great cars.

00:03:21.000 It's not really a driver's car.

00:03:23.000 It's a 2 plus 2. The center console is super wide.

00:03:31.000 It's a super awkward car to drive.

00:03:33.000 And it's not really good at really anything.

00:03:35.000 You know, styling-wise, I'm like, oh, there we go.

00:03:39.000 So you think that back end looks ugly?

00:03:41.000 I don't think I like it that much, no.

00:03:43.000 But you know what's funny?

00:03:45.000 The chrome doesn't look that bad.

00:03:47.000 Some guy got arrested in Germany.

00:03:48.000 They pulled him over and it compounded his car because he had a gold shiny wrap on it.

00:03:55.000 Right.

00:03:55.000 Was it too reflective or something?

00:03:56.000 I've seen that on Sunset.

00:03:57.000 There's a couple on Sunset.

00:03:58.000 Like a Lamborghini or something.

00:03:59.000 They'll let you do that in America.

00:04:00.000 But in Germany, they're like, fuck off.

00:04:02.000 Fuck off.

00:04:05.000 They took that shit right off.

00:04:06.000 You know, they're like harsh, cold, stoic folk.

00:04:11.000 They don't want you doing that.

00:04:12.000 They don't want you flexing too much over there.

00:04:14.000 Yeah, not too much.

00:04:15.000 I bet they reluctantly are making cars super flashy for American markets and shit.

00:04:20.000 I think so, too.

00:04:22.000 You know, I wonder.

00:04:25.000 You think so?

00:04:25.000 I don't know.

00:04:26.000 I don't know.

00:04:27.000 I mean, I wonder how much of an influence it has, like, if you could leave them to themselves.

00:04:31.000 Right.

00:04:32.000 What kind of cars do they make?

00:04:33.000 Yeah.

00:04:34.000 Because I feel like so much of it is, like, market-driven.

00:04:37.000 But they, when it comes to, like, engineering and handling, like, goddamn German cars have it nailed.

00:04:44.000 They really do.

00:04:45.000 They've got it nailed.

00:04:46.000 But you know what?

00:04:47.000 The Americans are, they were trying to sneak up and get close for a while.

00:04:50.000 But, I mean, like, the Germans are just the standard.

00:04:53.000 Yeah.

00:04:53.000 The only weird place where the Americans fuck with it is like, have you ever driven a Camaro Z01? I have, yeah.

00:05:00.000 That's a preposterous car.

00:05:01.000 It's an awesome car.

00:05:02.000 It's amazing.

00:05:03.000 I have a Corvette Z06. Ooh, which year?

00:05:07.000 It's a 06, which is the LS7, 7 liter.

00:05:11.000 And it's an insane car.

00:05:13.000 By today's standards, it only has like 505 horsepower.

00:05:16.000 Isn't that funny?

00:05:17.000 That's not a lot.

00:05:18.000 It's a mean car.

00:05:20.000 The car will put you on your ass really quick, man.

00:05:22.000 Turn you to a man.

00:05:23.000 Our friend Taylor out there was telling us that they put a Tesla in ludicrous mode on a dyno.

00:05:30.000 And it had some insane number of torque.

00:05:33.000 It was like 900 pound foot of torque.

00:05:36.000 And somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 horsepower.

00:05:39.000 Right.

00:05:39.000 And the dyno could barely even read it.

00:05:40.000 A lot of dinos don't even go that high in a lot of cases.

00:05:42.000 Yeah.

00:05:43.000 They're insane cars, man.

00:05:44.000 I'm telling you.

00:05:45.000 The Americans know how to do it now.

00:05:46.000 I think it's interesting that, you know, people don't realize this when they see a Tesla.

00:05:50.000 It's a fully American car.

00:05:52.000 Yeah.

00:05:52.000 And they don't realize that.

00:05:53.000 They're just like, oh, it's probably something like, you know, German or like Japanese car.

00:05:56.000 But the car's 100% made here.

00:05:58.000 Is this it right here, Jamie?

00:05:59.000 Yes.

00:06:00.000 Is this the...

00:06:01.000 Which model is this?

00:06:04.000 P100D. P100D. So that's the biggest one.

00:06:06.000 So what does it say?

00:06:07.000 It's on a Mustang dyno.

00:06:08.000 Yeah.

00:06:13.000 Sounds like a little good old boys.

00:06:15.000 I'm going to take this Tesla up here and try to figure out how fast she goes.

00:06:20.000 I think I can get it to jump.

00:06:21.000 I thought it said 56 seconds.

00:06:22.000 Yeah, no, I think it even almost jumps off the dyno at this point.

00:06:27.000 There's so much torque.

00:06:29.000 Yeah, it's a very, very, very powerful car.

00:06:33.000 There you go.

00:06:40.000 When I try to describe it to people, especially people that have never driven an electric car, I'm like, it doesn't even seem real.

00:06:45.000 It seems like it violates physics.

00:06:47.000 So how do you like yours, by the way?

00:06:49.000 I love it.

00:06:49.000 I know that Elon Musk came here and bamboozled you into buying one, pretty much.

00:06:52.000 How dare you?

00:06:56.000 I love it.

00:06:57.000 I love it.

00:06:57.000 It's great, isn't it?

00:06:58.000 It makes other cars seem stupid.

00:07:00.000 Right.

00:07:00.000 Absolutely.

00:07:01.000 And I love cars.

00:07:02.000 Oh yeah, I know you're a car guy.

00:07:03.000 I love them.

00:07:04.000 I love cars that don't even drive that fast.

00:07:06.000 I love mechanical, engineered excellence.

00:07:09.000 I love when people figure things out.

00:07:11.000 Right.

00:07:11.000 Which is what brought me to you.

00:07:13.000 I love the fact that you took this car that was fucked up and you refused to let it go.

00:07:19.000 You're like, I'm going to figure out how to fix this fucking thing.

00:07:22.000 How much did you buy it for?

00:07:23.000 It was 15 grand.

00:07:24.000 Just to be clear on something, I'm not some evil genius or brainiac.

00:07:28.000 This was driven by my cheapness.

00:07:31.000 Because I didn't want to spend the kind of money they were asking for one.

00:07:34.000 Right.

00:07:35.000 So basically, this car is like $15,000.

00:07:37.000 And the whole story started when my friend came over.

00:07:40.000 He actually had a job at Tesla.

00:07:41.000 And he's like, buddy, listen, do these crazy cars.

00:07:45.000 I know you have a Z06, but this car is faster than that.

00:07:47.000 You're going to love this thing.

00:07:48.000 I was like, that electric crap box, I don't want anything to do with that, whatever.

00:07:51.000 Right.

00:07:52.000 He brought the car over.

00:07:53.000 Great looking car.

00:07:54.000 I said, all right, and I'll take it for a drive or whatever.

00:07:56.000 And the thing was amazing.

00:07:58.000 Right?

00:07:59.000 Amazing car.

00:08:00.000 So I was in tech and I'm just like, listen, like, you know what?

00:08:03.000 Like, how much does this thing cost?

00:08:04.000 Like, I make decent money, whatever.

00:08:05.000 I'll just throw some money at it.

00:08:06.000 He's like, listen, this will cost you about 120. I said, you know what?

00:08:09.000 Have a nice day.

00:08:10.000 I'm not buying that shit.

00:08:12.000 And then he, so he left, and I thought to myself, like, every night I was like, you know what, I gotta get my hands on one of these cars, man.

00:08:19.000 I gotta get one, like, you know, sell a kidney, whatever, sell a testicle, whatever I can do.

00:08:24.000 And it, I was searching online, and, you know, what happens is whenever a car gets messed up, Whenever a car gets, as they say, totaled in a way and it's a total loss, an insurance company will take it and they'll kind of auction it off to like the highest bidder.

00:08:37.000 So I went to an auction site and I saw one for sale.

00:08:41.000 It was like, you know, 15 grand.

00:08:42.000 They said it didn't run or drive and it was in a flood.

00:08:45.000 And I'm just like, 15 grand?

00:08:46.000 I could do that.

00:08:47.000 It's a piece of cake, man.

00:08:48.000 I'll throw some money at it, whatever.

00:08:50.000 How hard can it be?

00:08:50.000 You stick it in a bag of rice, and then you tie it up.

00:08:53.000 It's like an iPhone.

00:08:54.000 You know when you drop your iPhone in the toilet?

00:08:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:08:56.000 It's just like, oh, man, it sucks.

00:08:57.000 You do it in a bag of rice, and you're good to go.

00:08:58.000 So I figured all I'd do was just buy more rice for this thing.

00:09:01.000 And I got it home, and I was like, you know what?

00:09:06.000 I got myself into some shit here, because it was a lot...

00:09:11.000 We're good to go.

00:09:27.000 So this begins this project, which takes how long to completion?

00:09:31.000 I think it took me about maybe six or seven months or so.

00:09:34.000 Of straight work?

00:09:35.000 No, so I was working at the time, and I think only between the hours of like 7pm and like 11pm.

00:09:44.000 Like every night.

00:09:45.000 And then weekends for a few hours until I figured it out.

00:09:49.000 So goodbye social life.

00:09:51.000 Pretty much, yeah.

00:09:52.000 I was a hermit for those months.

00:09:54.000 And what I actually ended up doing was...

00:09:56.000 So I had the car, right?

00:09:57.000 So I was freaking out because my wife was just like, how much was that thing?

00:10:01.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:02.000 Of course.

00:10:03.000 Yeah, she had the divorce papers ready pretty much.

00:10:05.000 And...

00:10:06.000 Oh, there I am.

00:10:06.000 Is that it?

00:10:08.000 No, this was a different one.

00:10:09.000 That one's fucked up.

00:10:10.000 Yeah, that one's really messed up now.

00:10:12.000 I couldn't save that one.

00:10:12.000 How much did you get that one for?

00:10:14.000 That one was about...

00:10:15.000 Guess.

00:10:16.000 Four grand.

00:10:17.000 That was 20 grand I paid for that.

00:10:18.000 What?

00:10:19.000 Yes!

00:10:20.000 What?

00:10:20.000 Yes.

00:10:20.000 That thing's totaled.

00:10:21.000 Yeah, I know, but they're so valuable, man.

00:10:24.000 Really?

00:10:24.000 Because you know why?

00:10:25.000 It's the battery technology and the motor technology that Tesla's using.

00:10:30.000 Everyone's just dying for that stuff, man.

00:10:32.000 So any wrecked Tesla that you find...

00:10:36.000 Minimum.

00:10:36.000 I know I'm still in the secret sauce here.

00:10:38.000 Minimum worth 15 grand.

00:10:40.000 Wow.

00:10:40.000 Even if it looks like that.

00:10:41.000 Dead serious.

00:10:41.000 That's insane.

00:10:42.000 That thing doesn't even have doors.

00:10:44.000 I took the doors off.

00:10:45.000 Oh, you took the doors off.

00:10:46.000 But the battery pack is still in there.

00:10:49.000 That's what you want.

00:10:49.000 And the motor was still in there, too.

00:10:51.000 Do people take those and put them in like old cars or anything yet?

00:10:55.000 Absolutely.

00:10:55.000 Yeah?

00:10:56.000 That's the new generation of hot rodders, man.

00:10:58.000 Because I saw something like that about a Mustang.

00:11:00.000 It was like a 65, 66 Mustang that was electric, but I didn't know what train it used.

00:11:05.000 So you know how...

00:11:07.000 You're a gearhead, you know this.

00:11:10.000 The LS swap.

00:11:11.000 They put literally an LS into everything.

00:11:13.000 Yeah, I have a Land Cruiser.

00:11:15.000 We have a Land Cruiser with one.

00:11:17.000 LS swap?

00:11:17.000 Oh shit.

00:11:20.000 So that's the new LS swap, basically.

00:11:21.000 So the Tesla motor is the new LS swap.

00:11:24.000 Everyone is swapping a Tesla motor into Volkswagen Bugs, into Audis, into Porsches, into everything.

00:11:31.000 Well, I know people are doing LS swaps into 911s, and Porsche people are losing their fucking minds.

00:11:37.000 I know.

00:11:37.000 Because they're taking old, air-cooled cars, which are really notoriously difficult to get to a high horsepower rate.

00:11:43.000 Exactly.

00:11:43.000 Because those air-cooled cars, you can only get them around 400 plus horsepower.

00:11:47.000 And they start crumbling.

00:11:48.000 Unless you're Singer.

00:11:49.000 Right.

00:11:50.000 Well, they've got that insanely engineered new one.

00:11:53.000 What is that called?

00:11:54.000 Lightweight?

00:11:54.000 I don't know what it's called.

00:11:55.000 Either way, it's going to cost you damn near $100,000.

00:11:58.000 Yeah.

00:11:59.000 Something dynamic, lightweight, something.

00:12:01.000 It's the most gorgeous looking of those Porsches I've ever seen, ever.

00:12:05.000 And they built that one up to 500 plus horsepower.

00:12:08.000 How much does it cost, though?

00:12:09.000 That's the thing.

00:12:10.000 Fucking million six.

00:12:11.000 A million six.

00:12:12.000 Are you going to buy one?

00:12:13.000 That's a giant house, man.

00:12:16.000 That's a house with land.

00:12:18.000 You might have a lake.

00:12:19.000 Well, actually, that's not true.

00:12:20.000 In LA, that's not a house.

00:12:21.000 No, but LA's not the real world.

00:12:23.000 What is that?

00:12:24.000 67 Mustang meets Tesla.

00:12:26.000 Look at that.

00:12:27.000 AVR Motors all-electric muscle car.

00:12:30.000 Holy fuck.

00:12:31.000 That's a 68. That's good-looking, too.

00:12:33.000 That's one of the best-looking rear ends of any car ever.

00:12:36.000 That's an awesome-looking car.

00:12:37.000 Fuck, that looks incredible.

00:12:38.000 2.2, 0-60.

00:12:40.000 Damn!

00:12:41.000 There you go.

00:12:42.000 What the fuck?

00:12:43.000 So that's new.

00:12:45.000 It's going to cost you a ton of money.

00:12:46.000 Bookmark that.

00:12:48.000 It's going to cost you a ton of money to recreate that same look.

00:12:52.000 God damn.

00:12:54.000 Look, it has a nice screen, too.

00:12:55.000 Look at that.

00:12:55.000 That's so weird, though, to not shift a muscle car.

00:12:58.000 I think I'm out.

00:12:59.000 I'm out.

00:13:00.000 I'm backing out.

00:13:01.000 I'm backing out.

00:13:02.000 But wait, but you love your Tesla, though.

00:13:03.000 You don't shift that.

00:13:03.000 But it doesn't look like that.

00:13:05.000 I would be a super ultra poser.

00:13:07.000 The door handles come out like a Tesla's, too?

00:13:08.000 Oh, wait.

00:13:09.000 There's a Tesla.

00:13:09.000 Oh, fuck off.

00:13:11.000 Next.

00:13:13.000 No, no, no.

00:13:14.000 There's a company that does, it's a company called Revology that makes old, like 1966 to like 68 Mustangs, but they do it with all new parts and modern technology.

00:13:29.000 It's like a resto mod, pretty much.

00:13:31.000 It's not, though, because it's a new car.

00:13:33.000 They buy the full, that's actually a brand new car that's never existed.

00:13:38.000 Oh, really?

00:13:39.000 Yeah.

00:13:39.000 So ground up built?

00:13:40.000 Ground up built.

00:13:41.000 They buy the whole...

00:13:42.000 I think it's called a unibody construction.

00:13:44.000 Is that what it is?

00:13:46.000 There's something...

00:13:46.000 The way that these Mustangs are constructed, the bodies built into the frame.

00:13:51.000 And this company sells them...

00:13:54.000 Like, completed versions of the body kit that are perfect, with perfect tolerances.

00:13:58.000 Right.

00:13:59.000 So, like, that's one, the 67 Shelby GT500. What's the price?

00:14:03.000 Oh, wow.

00:14:04.000 Stupid expensive.

00:14:05.000 Yeah.

00:14:05.000 It's not going to work.

00:14:06.000 It's like two Teslas.

00:14:07.000 Yeah, pretty much.

00:14:08.000 Yeah, but they're dope.

00:14:10.000 It's dope as fuck.

00:14:11.000 If you look at, like, what it looks like, go down, see some pictures of it, Jamie.

00:14:15.000 You can get a better sense of it.

00:14:17.000 But this guy is very meticulous.

00:14:20.000 This company is very meticulous.

00:14:22.000 I've been following their stuff for quite a while.

00:14:24.000 What they do is really incredible.

00:14:26.000 That's an all-new sheet metal.

00:14:28.000 Everything's new, but it has killer brakes, and it has a modern Coyote Mustang engine in it.

00:14:35.000 So it's a 460 horsepower engine in these old, badass muscle cars.

00:14:41.000 And that one's the GT500. That one's actually supercharged.

00:14:44.000 That has a 600 horsepower engine.

00:14:46.000 Dude, it's dope.

00:14:47.000 They're fucking gorgeous.

00:14:48.000 They're gorgeous cars.

00:14:50.000 They're really pretty.

00:14:51.000 So what would you think about someone dropping an electric motor on one of these things?

00:14:54.000 See, I love it.

00:14:55.000 Look, I love people doing crazy shit, but it's not for me.

00:14:58.000 I need to shift.

00:14:59.000 If I'm driving that thing, I gotta pretend I'm Steve McQueen.

00:15:01.000 I hear you, man.

00:15:02.000 I hear you.

00:15:05.000 Here's the thing.

00:15:06.000 So what do you think about the new, you've seen the new Tesla Roadster, right?

00:15:08.000 Gorgeous.

00:15:09.000 What do you think about it?

00:15:10.000 I love it.

00:15:10.000 How is it?

00:15:10.000 Yeah, but it's theirs from the bottom up.

00:15:12.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:13.000 It's like, I don't mind not shifting in it.

00:15:14.000 That thing seems like it's going to literally punch a hole through space time.

00:15:18.000 I think so too, man.

00:15:19.000 I think so too.

00:15:20.000 I think they're looking at it like 0 to 60 in like 1 point something seconds.

00:15:23.000 Yeah, I think it's 1.9.

00:15:24.000 I think that's what they're saying.

00:15:25.000 It's insane, man.

00:15:26.000 That's bizarre.

00:15:27.000 I know.

00:15:28.000 When you feel it in the P100D mind, everybody that I get in the car and I stomp on the gas, they're like, what the fuck?

00:15:35.000 They can't believe it.

00:15:37.000 These are around you.

00:15:38.000 It's like vampires being around people.

00:15:40.000 People that just leap to the top of buildings and they're walking around looking regular until some shit goes down.

00:15:46.000 Yeah, no, they're absolutely amazing cars, man.

00:15:48.000 And I think that's the main reason why I was like, I gotta get one of these, man.

00:15:52.000 So what was the struggle?

00:15:54.000 Initial struggle.

00:15:55.000 You have the car, you take it apart, and what did you see?

00:15:58.000 Right.

00:15:58.000 So pretty much I was kind of taking my time because I knew there was a point where I couldn't fix the damn thing and I was just kind of wasting everyone's time.

00:16:04.000 I was like, hey, is this thing almost done?

00:16:05.000 I was like, yeah, babe, don't worry about it.

00:16:08.000 We're good, don't worry, our money's safe.

00:16:10.000 And So there's a certain point where I took everything apart and I was like, alright, cool.

00:16:15.000 I found a dead fish in the back of the car, by the way.

00:16:17.000 So actually, you know what the turning point of this whole thing was?

00:16:19.000 The turning point was I realized it was salt water and not fresh water.

00:16:26.000 So you know what salt water does to stuff, right?

00:16:28.000 It just kills everything.

00:16:29.000 So 90% of the car was kind of toast.

00:16:33.000 And I said to myself, all right, I'm going to call Tesla up, you know, buy a motor, buy a battery pack.

00:16:38.000 I'll be good.

00:16:39.000 You know what I mean?

00:16:39.000 Maybe I'll spend like 20 grand for a battery and like maybe 10 for a motor.

00:16:43.000 I'll be like for 40. It's still cheaper than 100, right?

00:16:46.000 So I called them up and, you know, they were like, hey, you know, how's it going, man?

00:16:50.000 I was like, hey, you know what?

00:16:51.000 Crazy thing happened, right?

00:16:52.000 So I bought this Tesla's underwater, and I need a couple of things.

00:16:57.000 I need a battery.

00:16:58.000 I need a motor.

00:16:59.000 Just throw me those things.

00:17:00.000 It's fine.

00:17:00.000 They're like, well, we're not going to sell it to you.

00:17:01.000 I was like, well, why not?

00:17:02.000 Because you have no capability of fixing the car yourself.

00:17:05.000 You're going to get yourself killed.

00:17:06.000 It's not going to work.

00:17:08.000 Give me your VIN number.

00:17:09.000 I gave them the VIN number.

00:17:10.000 They're like, no, that car's listed as salvaged.

00:17:12.000 That thing was underwater.

00:17:13.000 We're not going to help you.

00:17:14.000 And they just hung up the phone pretty much.

00:17:15.000 Oh.

00:17:15.000 Yeah.

00:17:16.000 So this is the crazy part, too, is that they know...

00:17:19.000 I'm putting my conspiracy theorist hat on.

00:17:21.000 They know where every single car is.

00:17:23.000 They know what it's doing.

00:17:25.000 They know if the airbags went off.

00:17:26.000 They know if you farted at the front seat.

00:17:27.000 They know everything about these cars.

00:17:29.000 So pretty much when you give them the VIN number, the cars are always connected back to the mothership to give you the status in the car.

00:17:35.000 So they know what's going on.

00:17:37.000 So if you try to hide from them, you just can't do it.

00:17:41.000 So I had the car and I said to myself, you know what, this isn't going to work.

00:17:45.000 I've got to figure something out.

00:17:45.000 So what I did basically, I bought another car.

00:17:49.000 For $15,000.

00:17:51.000 And I was like, I gotta swap this stuff over.

00:17:53.000 So I swapped everything over.

00:17:54.000 So the other one that you bought for $15,000, everything worked?

00:17:56.000 Well, it was on a front-end collision.

00:17:57.000 It was on a hard front-end collision.

00:17:59.000 So the frame was bent or something?

00:18:01.000 The frame was bent.

00:18:01.000 The thing was toast.

00:18:02.000 And I just took all the electronics from one to the other.

00:18:04.000 How do you check to make sure that everything isn't damaged?

00:18:08.000 That's a good thing.

00:18:09.000 A lot of the wiring harnesses were cut in the front-end collision car, but the interesting part was that in the flooded car, the wiring harnesses were still good for the most part in the front.

00:18:19.000 Really?

00:18:20.000 So what I did was, meaning not broken or torn or having bent connectors, I just took those connectors off and actually cleaned them because I couldn't get parts from Tesla.

00:18:29.000 I took the wet wiring harnesses that were all corroded, pulled them out, got a Q-tip, toothbrush, and all that stuff.

00:18:35.000 What do you clean them with?

00:18:36.000 So I clean them with baking soda and a wire brush.

00:18:43.000 And I got a toothpick, too, to really get in there and clean the contacts and stuff.

00:18:47.000 I just rinse them out with water.

00:18:48.000 By this time, your wife's probably like, what the fuck?

00:18:51.000 She's pissed.

00:18:51.000 She goes, I noticed we're missing $30,000 from our bank account.

00:18:56.000 And you got two cars that don't work.

00:18:58.000 Exactly.

00:18:59.000 Two cars that don't work.

00:19:00.000 And the $30,000 missing from our bank account.

00:19:03.000 Like, what's going on here?

00:19:04.000 So...

00:19:05.000 It was just, it was painstaking, but eventually, you know, I got the job done, man.

00:19:09.000 So what I ended up doing was, so, 30 grand, right?

00:19:12.000 I told my friends, hey, listen, you know, I'm in a mess here.

00:19:15.000 I'm rebuilding a Tesla.

00:19:16.000 And they're just like, you know, you're an idiot.

00:19:17.000 You're not going to figure this out.

00:19:18.000 Like, no one's doing that.

00:19:19.000 Because this was years ago.

00:19:21.000 This is when the cars were still kind of coming onto the scene and they weren't as popular as they are now.

00:19:25.000 And they're like, you can't fix that.

00:19:26.000 Like, you're an idiot.

00:19:27.000 You can't do that.

00:19:28.000 I've seen your work.

00:19:31.000 And so...

00:19:33.000 Yeah, so after a while, I took all the parts from one to the other, got one running, And then the parts I didn't need anymore, like the old battery pack.

00:19:46.000 So there were some parts of the battery that were still good.

00:19:50.000 So I actually sold those parts online and on eBay and stuff like that.

00:19:54.000 And then I sold the motor.

00:19:57.000 It had water in it.

00:19:58.000 Someone gave me five grand for a motor that had water in it.

00:20:00.000 That's how valuable these parts are.

00:20:02.000 Wow.

00:20:02.000 So was he planning on doing the same thing, cleaning it out?

00:20:04.000 I have no idea.

00:20:05.000 To this day, I don't know.

00:20:07.000 So I think he was in the same situation.

00:20:08.000 I think he brought it home to his wife.

00:20:09.000 He said, hey, look what I got.

00:20:11.000 It's probably still at his house.

00:20:13.000 And so after all that, sold all the parts, I ended up getting the car I have now for about six grand.

00:20:20.000 So you take the engine, and is that one of the four-wheel drive ones, the ones you have?

00:20:25.000 This was just the rear-wheel drive one.

00:20:26.000 So it has just the rear engine?

00:20:28.000 The single motor, yep.

00:20:30.000 One engine.

00:20:30.000 And so you take those out, you put it all back in, you replace the wires, and then it's good to go?

00:20:36.000 What about the computer?

00:20:37.000 Oh my gosh.

00:20:38.000 So pretty much, the computer thing was interesting because...

00:20:42.000 So I called Tesla again.

00:20:45.000 I was like, hey buddy, this car is like 99% of the way there.

00:20:49.000 Do they know who you are?

00:20:50.000 At this point, they still don't know who I am.

00:20:53.000 Nor do they care.

00:20:53.000 They still probably don't care who I am.

00:20:55.000 But did you say, hey man, remember you hung up on me like four months ago?

00:20:58.000 Yeah, right?

00:20:59.000 The car still doesn't work.

00:21:01.000 The car still didn't work.

00:21:02.000 So the tough part was I had to...

00:21:05.000 So remember, I had no key for the car.

00:21:09.000 Oh.

00:21:10.000 So I was like, hey, I need a key.

00:21:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:12.000 Like, help me out here.

00:21:13.000 I need a key.

00:21:14.000 And they were like, well, are you the same idiot that called?

00:21:16.000 I'm like, yeah, I need the key.

00:21:17.000 They're like, we can't, as I stated before, we can't help you because, you know, this is a salvage car, so you're on your own.

00:21:24.000 So what I did was I actually, in the GPS screen, because the screen turned on, the guy still had the home location.

00:21:33.000 So I pushed home on the GPS screen, found the guy's address.

00:21:36.000 Right?

00:21:38.000 This is creepy.

00:21:39.000 It gets creepy.

00:21:40.000 I found the guy's address and I was like, hey, you know, can we...

00:21:45.000 I called him up.

00:21:47.000 I was like, hey, did you own a white Tesla by chance?

00:21:50.000 And he's like, yeah, I own one.

00:21:53.000 I was like, yeah.

00:21:54.000 So I bought it and I need the key.

00:21:57.000 Do you have the key to the car?

00:21:59.000 And he's like, no, I don't have that.

00:22:01.000 What are you calling me for?

00:22:02.000 I don't understand.

00:22:03.000 He's like, well, I'm rebuilding it.

00:22:04.000 I'm putting the electronics from your car into another.

00:22:08.000 And I want to figure it out.

00:22:09.000 And he's like, you know what?

00:22:10.000 I can't help you.

00:22:10.000 I don't have the key.

00:22:11.000 And I was like, damn, it sucks.

00:22:13.000 I have a family and stuff.

00:22:15.000 And, you know, I really kind of gave him the sob story.

00:22:16.000 Like, you know, if you could really look for it and help me out, it'd be good.

00:22:19.000 And we started talking about general topics.

00:22:22.000 And he's like, you know, I know you're a car guy.

00:22:24.000 That's awesome.

00:22:25.000 I had a Z06 once.

00:22:28.000 And I was like, hey, I have a Z06 too.

00:22:30.000 And he's like, yeah, it was Le Mans Blue.

00:22:32.000 And I was like, hey, mine's Le Mans Blue.

00:22:34.000 And he's like, what year is it?

00:22:35.000 I was like, it's an 06. He goes, I sold...

00:22:38.000 That same car or car like it, like two years ago, to a guy in Florida.

00:22:41.000 I was like, I bought the car from a guy in Florida.

00:22:44.000 So we started bonding, so it turns out I actually owned his old Z06. That's insane.

00:22:48.000 Yeah, it's crazy, right?

00:22:49.000 What are the odds that two human beings on the planet, you own both of this guy's cars?

00:22:52.000 Both of his guys' cars.

00:22:53.000 That's insane.

00:22:54.000 It was insane.

00:22:54.000 So he's like, listen, he goes, awesome, you know, I'll see if I could find the key.

00:22:59.000 Are you friends with that dude now?

00:23:00.000 No, we never talked again after that.

00:23:01.000 Seems like you should be friends.

00:23:02.000 Well, here's the reason why.

00:23:05.000 Well, number one, it was super creepy for me to call the guy.

00:23:07.000 Number two, when I went kind of silent for a week, he called me back and said, buddy, I found the key.

00:23:15.000 I found the key to the car.

00:23:16.000 I was like, awesome, dude.

00:23:17.000 You're fantastic.

00:23:19.000 I'm going to send you an envelope to your address so you could kind of give me the key.

00:23:23.000 And he's like, yeah, yeah, great, great, great.

00:23:24.000 How about like $600?

00:23:27.000 And I was like, Broheim, we just bonded over the fact that I own both of your cars.

00:23:30.000 What are you doing to me here?

00:23:32.000 $600 for the key.

00:23:33.000 And remember, to a lot of people, that's nothing.

00:23:35.000 But to me, I was trying to be cheap and scrappy.

00:23:38.000 $600 is a bit much.

00:23:39.000 $600 is $600.

00:23:40.000 Yeah, that's a bit much.

00:23:41.000 That's a lot of money.

00:23:42.000 And I was like, hey...

00:23:45.000 The key didn't exist to you as of like a week ago.

00:23:49.000 But now you can make money from it.

00:23:50.000 Like now you want to try your 600 bucks?

00:23:51.000 And he's just like, you know, da-da-da.

00:23:53.000 She started talking again.

00:23:55.000 And he goes, how about 400 bucks?

00:23:57.000 And I was like, you know what, guy?

00:23:58.000 I'll just give you the money.

00:23:59.000 Just take the damn money.

00:24:01.000 Blood money.

00:24:02.000 Yeah, right.

00:24:03.000 Exactly, right?

00:24:03.000 So I sold my soul pretty much.

00:24:06.000 No, he did.

00:24:07.000 He's got that blood money.

00:24:08.000 No, but I feel like I shouldn't have taken it.

00:24:12.000 I would have rubbed that money on my balls, put it in an envelope, and go, here you go, bro.

00:24:16.000 Make sure you sniff that $100 bill first.

00:24:18.000 Fuck you.

00:24:19.000 I mean, it's like...

00:24:20.000 I get it.

00:24:20.000 He's just being a dirtbag.

00:24:21.000 Right.

00:24:22.000 But after that, he got the key.

00:24:24.000 And that's what it is.

00:24:26.000 And then the car's running and driving today.

00:24:28.000 So as soon as you got the key, you're good.

00:24:30.000 Do you have one key or two?

00:24:31.000 Just one.

00:24:32.000 If I lose that, I'm screwed.

00:24:33.000 Can you make it...

00:24:35.000 Does the phone work, like your app, does it work on the car?

00:24:38.000 Nope.

00:24:39.000 Damn.

00:24:39.000 No.

00:24:40.000 That's big.

00:24:40.000 The app is big.

00:24:41.000 That's huge.

00:24:41.000 Yeah.

00:24:42.000 It's cool.

00:24:43.000 When you get the car to come to you.

00:24:44.000 You can summon it.

00:24:45.000 Come to daddy.

00:24:46.000 Come on.

00:24:46.000 You can park like literally with an inch on each side.

00:24:50.000 Right.

00:24:50.000 And you can come to daddy.

00:24:51.000 That's the problem is that I feel like with the Tesla, because I have a Model X now.

00:24:55.000 So I have the SUV now.

00:24:56.000 And that's the ultimate flex.

00:24:59.000 Tiffany Haddish had one, and she had it in the parking lot of the comedy store, and she had it dancing, and we were filming it.

00:25:05.000 The doors kind of go up and down and stuff?

00:25:06.000 Yeah, to the music, and she's out in front of the car dancing, and her and I are dancing, and everybody's dancing, and they're filming it.

00:25:12.000 It was a hilarious moment.

00:25:13.000 And it's funny, because I found myself...

00:25:15.000 I feel like this car's ruined me as a person.

00:25:18.000 I'm a typically pretty humble person, but having a Tesla, the fact that you could push a button, and the car comes to you...

00:25:26.000 It's a douchebag move because honestly, we were getting into our cars like peasants for years.

00:25:32.000 And one day I was at the gym and I was looking at my car from a distance and I was like, you know what?

00:25:38.000 I really don't feel like walking all the way to my car today.

00:25:42.000 How far?

00:25:43.000 It was probably like the distance from you to me.

00:25:45.000 It wasn't really that far.

00:25:45.000 It was like a glass in between us.

00:25:47.000 And I was like, you know what?

00:25:47.000 Come to daddy.

00:25:48.000 Come to daddy.

00:25:49.000 Push the button.

00:25:49.000 The car just backed out.

00:25:50.000 Everyone's like, whoa, that car's driving itself.

00:25:52.000 I was like, yeah, that's me.

00:25:53.000 Pushed the button, opened the door, got in.

00:25:55.000 I just drove off.

00:25:56.000 Yeah, when I take it and I put it in auto drive, that's when it really freaks me out.

00:26:00.000 Yeah.

00:26:00.000 Do you use that often?

00:26:01.000 Often.

00:26:02.000 Yeah, it scares me.

00:26:04.000 It scares me, but I keep my hands right there, but it is freaky.

00:26:07.000 Has it tried to kill you yet?

00:26:08.000 No.

00:26:08.000 Okay, that's good.

00:26:09.000 It's coming.

00:26:10.000 Really?

00:26:10.000 I'm just joking.

00:26:12.000 I always keep my hand there.

00:26:13.000 I always keep my hand there.

00:26:14.000 But I'm always...

00:26:16.000 The one thing I'm concerned with is that I think I'm lowering my guard.

00:26:19.000 Yes, absolutely.

00:26:20.000 I'm letting the car do too much.

00:26:22.000 Absolutely.

00:26:23.000 Because when you drive, one of the reasons for road rage is when we're driving around, we don't know who the fuck's next to us.

00:26:28.000 And we're going very fast, and it requires the ability to think really quickly, so your brain is in a heightened state of awareness.

00:26:34.000 And then someone does something stupid like, this motherfucker!

00:26:37.000 You fucking asshole!

00:26:39.000 You get rage, man.

00:26:39.000 Exactly.

00:26:40.000 That's where the rage comes from.

00:26:42.000 But it lightens that almost maybe too much.

00:26:46.000 Because I think you do need to be at least aware that some shit could happen at any moment when cars are flying by you going 75 miles an hour.

00:26:55.000 So you don't take your hands fully off?

00:26:56.000 No, I don't.

00:26:56.000 You just let the car drive itself?

00:26:57.000 Really?

00:26:58.000 Yeah, I just put my hand on it.

00:26:59.000 I don't take my hands fully off.

00:27:00.000 But if you do, you can only do it for so long and it'll start to warn you.

00:27:03.000 It's not to complain like, hey, what's going on here, buddy?

00:27:05.000 But apparently some dudes tried...

00:27:06.000 They said that didn't work.

00:27:08.000 I talked to one of those dudes who did that experiment.

00:27:10.000 Apparently that experiment didn't work.

00:27:12.000 The orange, yeah.

00:27:13.000 I think the orange...

00:27:14.000 I think that might work, man.

00:27:15.000 I think what does work better is they said a lightweight.

00:27:20.000 If you take a lightweight and put it on a rubber band and you hang it...

00:27:25.000 You know what's funny?

00:27:26.000 There was a guy that was selling that.

00:27:27.000 You hear about that?

00:27:28.000 No.

00:27:28.000 He was selling...

00:27:29.000 It looked like a...

00:27:31.000 It was basically like a weight that went around the steering wheel, and it actually had the perfect amount of weight balance to make you think that your hand was still on the wheel.

00:27:39.000 People were buying it.

00:27:40.000 There it is.

00:27:41.000 Tesla Autoplay buddy hat to a good nag.

00:27:44.000 Relaunches as a phone mount.

00:27:46.000 Yeah.

00:27:47.000 So he had that, right?

00:27:48.000 He was selling it, and it was like 300 bucks.

00:27:51.000 Yeah.

00:27:51.000 And then, you know, they were like, that's illegal.

00:27:54.000 You can't do that.

00:27:55.000 You're bypassing like a safety device of the car.

00:27:57.000 So then what he did was he came back again with a vengeance and made it a phone mount.

00:28:01.000 He's clever.

00:28:02.000 He's clever, yeah.

00:28:02.000 That's a smart move, although I'm not sure I support it.

00:28:05.000 Yeah, I don't think I do either.

00:28:06.000 That's kind of, that's a little bit much.

00:28:07.000 I don't think it's ready for that.

00:28:09.000 It weirds me out.

00:28:10.000 It weirds me out because the other thing is the other people are not...

00:28:14.000 Going with auto-drive so you're around you're going auto-drive and all these other people are just driving yeah, and I think when everyone's driving together You kind of in tune with each other.

00:28:22.000 Oh this asshole is trying to go really fast.

00:28:23.000 Yeah, right get the fuck I'm gonna overtake this guy, right?

00:28:26.000 Yeah, let me pass this guy you're aware of when you're just when you're auto-driving it's like you're like a like a assist right in this moving yeah Like, ecosystem of thinking.

00:28:37.000 Like, all these people be calculating each other.

00:28:39.000 But it's probably, ultimately, like, if you talk to Elon, he says it's way safer, and that it's the future.

00:28:44.000 I 100% agree with him.

00:28:45.000 Absolutely.

00:28:46.000 But he obviously hates fun.

00:28:47.000 Yeah.

00:28:48.000 Because why would you do that to the world?

00:28:50.000 Don't forget, right?

00:28:51.000 Elon can talk all the shit he wants.

00:28:52.000 Remember, he had a McLaren F1. Yes, he did.

00:28:55.000 And he still has a Jaguar E-Type, one of those really old ones, like a 69 with the long shark nose.

00:29:00.000 The long hood, yeah.

00:29:01.000 He still got that.

00:29:03.000 So he, at heart, he knows the deal.

00:29:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:29:05.000 He didn't make that car that fast for a practicality.

00:29:09.000 No, it makes no sense.

00:29:10.000 The same reason he made a fucking blowtorch.

00:29:12.000 He's crazy.

00:29:13.000 He's a silly person.

00:29:14.000 At least it's not a flamethrower, we know that.

00:29:16.000 It's not.

00:29:16.000 Definitely not a flamethrower.

00:29:17.000 He's a silly super genius, is what he is.

00:29:20.000 In all the best ways.

00:29:22.000 Yes, right.

00:29:22.000 Only good ways.

00:29:23.000 I never say anything bad about him.

00:29:24.000 I love the guy.

00:29:26.000 I'm so glad he's alive.

00:29:28.000 I am.

00:29:28.000 I'm glad he's a real thing.

00:29:29.000 No, honestly, and I always agree, I get a lot of crap from people online saying I'm an Elon Musk hater, I'm a Tesla hater.

00:29:36.000 I could be critical sometimes, you know what I mean?

00:29:38.000 But it's like, the guy's a damn genius, man.

00:29:41.000 He's a damn genius.

00:29:42.000 He's a damn genius.

00:29:43.000 And critical is important.

00:29:44.000 Guys like you are important.

00:29:45.000 It's very important to hear what other people think if it's reasoned and intelligent.

00:29:51.000 Right.

00:29:51.000 Like, it helps you even if you don't like hearing it.

00:29:53.000 Right, so I gotta keep, I mean, he's a genius, but sometimes you gotta keep the company in check.

00:29:57.000 The cars are phenomenal cars.

00:29:59.000 They're phenomenal cars.

00:30:00.000 And they weren't always.

00:30:02.000 No, absolutely not.

00:30:03.000 Yeah, and what they were when they first came out, like, were you aware of the whole thing with Top Gear?

00:30:08.000 Yes!

00:30:09.000 That was crazy.

00:30:09.000 Yeah, they were being shady.

00:30:10.000 They were super shady.

00:30:11.000 Yeah, they were running the car down.

00:30:13.000 They pretended the car died.

00:30:13.000 They wanted to bash the car as much as they could, but for stuff like that, I'll stick up and say, yo, hey, you can't keep doing that.

00:30:19.000 And he got pissed.

00:30:19.000 He loves it.

00:30:20.000 That's his baby.

00:30:20.000 Yeah, he sued them.

00:30:22.000 That's his baby.

00:30:22.000 I think he lost.

00:30:23.000 Really?

00:30:23.000 Because I think the way their show is structured...

00:30:26.000 That was...

00:30:27.000 It's entertainment.

00:30:28.000 Yes, it's entertainment and fiction.

00:30:29.000 But it's incredibly damaging to the company because it made it look like...

00:30:33.000 I don't know why they did that.

00:30:35.000 There's a couple things that Top Gear did, but I was like, why would you do that?

00:30:39.000 But some people remember, their focus is on petrol or gas-powered cars.

00:30:45.000 When an EV comes along...

00:30:47.000 We're good to go.

00:31:09.000 No, so here's the long story.

00:31:11.000 So get the car going.

00:31:12.000 Everything's great.

00:31:13.000 In order to get masked from the Tesla system, so there's a certain system that Tesla knows where all their cars are, and they could disable whatever they want.

00:31:22.000 They could do whatever they want.

00:31:23.000 They could shut you down?

00:31:24.000 Exactly.

00:31:24.000 So I had to reach out to this Tesla black hat hacker pretty much.

00:31:29.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:31:29.000 You had to go to the dark web?

00:31:30.000 I had to go to the deep dark web.

00:31:32.000 Damn.

00:31:34.000 And he was able to mask Tesla from seeing the car, which is why I can't have the Tesla app.

00:31:39.000 Oh.

00:31:39.000 So he masked that.

00:31:40.000 So he got into the actual software itself?

00:31:43.000 Into the actual software itself.

00:31:44.000 The guy's a genius.

00:31:44.000 His name is Phil.

00:31:45.000 Switched one to zero?

00:31:46.000 Exactly.

00:31:47.000 He flipped the bit, and then it was able to be, the car could supercharge, the car could do everything.

00:31:53.000 Wow.

00:31:53.000 And the car gets updates, too.

00:31:54.000 It's great.

00:31:55.000 Oh, it does?

00:31:56.000 It does get updates, yeah.

00:31:57.000 And Tesla doesn't know it's getting updates?

00:31:59.000 No, you know what's funny?

00:32:00.000 Maybe we shouldn't say this.

00:32:01.000 Yeah, I'm just kidding.

00:32:02.000 No, they know the deal.

00:32:03.000 And here's the problem with that is that people love these cars a lot, man.

00:32:09.000 They love these cars.

00:32:10.000 You know, hence me.

00:32:10.000 I'm picking the car of like a dirty lake.

00:32:12.000 You know what I mean?

00:32:13.000 And fixing this thing.

00:32:13.000 You know what I mean?

00:32:14.000 So a lot of the times it's in their best interest, I believe, to help people out a little bit.

00:32:22.000 But no, the things that people go through for these cars is insane, man.

00:32:25.000 People just love them.

00:32:27.000 My take on it is that what they have is this ingenious company with this mad genius scientist who's running it who does a million other things at the same time.

00:32:37.000 And they don't have enough people to deal with someone like you.

00:32:42.000 They probably just don't.

00:32:43.000 They don't have a section of the company to deal with someone like you.

00:32:47.000 You remember when he was working, when they were trying to put out the Model 3 and he was working 16 hours a day and sleeping on the floor of the factory?

00:32:53.000 Yeah, pretty much.

00:32:54.000 Shit, that don't make any sense.

00:32:55.000 You know what's funny?

00:32:57.000 It doesn't make any sense, but people love the company.

00:33:00.000 They love this guy.

00:33:00.000 So, speaking of that, when he was working 16 hours a day and he was sleeping on the floor in the factory, right?

00:33:07.000 It was a big sob story, a billionaire sleeping on the floor in the factory.

00:33:10.000 A bunch of Tesla owners rallied together and they purchased a couch for him to sleep on.

00:33:17.000 Like tens of thousands of dollars.

00:33:19.000 What kind of couch is this?

00:33:20.000 It must have been a nice ass couch.

00:33:21.000 Crazy couch.

00:33:22.000 Yeah, but either way, like they rallied and they purchased a couch for him.

00:33:24.000 And like, I made a video on it and I said to myself, you know what?

00:33:27.000 This guy's a billionaire.

00:33:29.000 Yeah.

00:33:30.000 But the fact that everyone rallied together to help this guy, to show that there's support.

00:33:35.000 Yeah.

00:33:36.000 People are hands over fists for this company, man.

00:33:38.000 They are.

00:33:39.000 It reminds me of Apple.

00:33:41.000 Back in the day.

00:33:42.000 You know, I remember there was a guy, God bless his heart, who was one of the editors on news radio, the sitcom that I was on in the 90s, and he was such an apple head that he was like, he was talking about it like it was a sports team.

00:33:57.000 He was talking about it, well, I think we're really going to get those PC guys when the new MacBooks come out.

00:34:03.000 But he really said something to that...

00:34:06.000 Along those lines, I think we're really going to pull ahead.

00:34:09.000 Like, who's we?

00:34:10.000 We.

00:34:10.000 Mac users.

00:34:11.000 We're all together.

00:34:12.000 What are you doing, we?

00:34:12.000 Yeah.

00:34:13.000 They were on this weird little tribe Mac.

00:34:15.000 And this is the same thing, but you know what?

00:34:17.000 Picture the Apple fanboys, the Tesla fanboys, times 10. Yeah, they live in it.

00:34:23.000 It's like an Apple you live in.

00:34:24.000 It's times 10. They're driving to work in it.

00:34:26.000 Because Apple has the technology aspect of it.

00:34:29.000 Like, it's great.

00:34:30.000 Android sucks.

00:34:31.000 I have an Apple phone.

00:34:32.000 Okay, perfect, perfect.

00:34:33.000 But for Teslas, you're talking about technology.

00:34:36.000 So you have the tech nerds.

00:34:37.000 You're talking about sustainability as well for the green people.

00:34:41.000 So you have the tech and the green people.

00:34:44.000 And once they join forces, so the scariest force on the earth, right?

00:34:48.000 It isn't like war, like guns and stuff.

00:34:50.000 It's actually a Mac-owning Tesla vegan owner, pretty much.

00:34:57.000 It's the scariest thing in the world.

00:34:58.000 It really is the scariest thing in the world.

00:34:59.000 Because they'll tell you all about it at a party.

00:35:01.000 Oh my god.

00:35:02.000 Yeah, you get cornered.

00:35:03.000 They get cornered.

00:35:04.000 And I've struggled with that in a lot of cases because whenever I say something remotely negative about Tesla, like, hey, I think Tesla could do a better job here.

00:35:12.000 They're just like, you're just a gas head.

00:35:14.000 I know you own a Z06. You work for big oil.

00:35:17.000 Someone accused me of working for big oil.

00:35:19.000 Oh, you do?

00:35:19.000 Yeah.

00:35:20.000 What do you do for them?

00:35:21.000 How do you work for big oil?

00:35:22.000 You can tell me, bro.

00:35:23.000 What does that mean you work for big oil?

00:35:24.000 Yeah, you're a part of the Illuminati.

00:35:27.000 Yeah, pretty much.

00:35:28.000 That's what it is.

00:35:29.000 You work for big oil.

00:35:31.000 How do I work for big oil?

00:35:31.000 What does that mean?

00:35:32.000 What does that mean?

00:35:32.000 How much could they pay you, too?

00:35:34.000 First of all, before people would realize it, all of a sudden you're walking around with diamond chains on and shit.

00:35:39.000 Like a big Rolex hat.

00:35:40.000 You move to a giant mansion.

00:35:41.000 Are you still fixing cars?

00:35:42.000 Yeah, right.

00:35:43.000 Do you work Well, uh, you know, I got another thing going on.

00:35:46.000 Yeah, right, right.

00:35:46.000 I'm making billions for big oil.

00:35:48.000 Yeah, buy a gas car.

00:35:49.000 Go to Shell.

00:35:50.000 Shell's great.

00:35:50.000 I don't understand how people think that whole shill thing works.

00:35:54.000 That you just get, like, a monthly check.

00:35:55.000 I don't understand.

00:35:56.000 Like, hey, Rich, say something negative about Tesla every once in a while.

00:35:59.000 We'll give you a check for 20 grand a month.

00:36:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:00.000 Gotta get that big oil check.

00:36:01.000 I suspect that what it is is similar to what my friend who was really addicted to Apple.

00:36:05.000 I think you just get on your tribe and that's my thing.

00:36:08.000 I'm all about Apple.

00:36:09.000 And that's your camp.

00:36:10.000 Windows are bullshit.

00:36:11.000 Windows is bullshit.

00:36:12.000 Ew.

00:36:12.000 It's disgusting.

00:36:13.000 Why would you want to play?

00:36:13.000 What are you going to fuck with the config files?

00:36:15.000 Get in there and use DOS? Get out of here.

00:36:18.000 Yeah, you loser.

00:36:19.000 You loser.

00:36:19.000 But it's interesting because people like us are very different because...

00:36:23.000 We could appreciate both.

00:36:24.000 You have a phenomenal collection of cars.

00:36:26.000 Thank you.

00:36:27.000 And then you threw a Tesla in there, but you love both.

00:36:30.000 You love the driving aspect of your Porsche.

00:36:34.000 You love the silence and the 0-60 of your Tesla, too.

00:36:38.000 We could be part of both camps, but in a lot of cases, it's Camp Tesla, and if you're not with us, you're against us.

00:36:45.000 Silly.

00:36:45.000 Yeah, I have a Windows laptop, and I have an Apple laptop.

00:36:48.000 Oh, you do?

00:36:49.000 Yeah.

00:36:49.000 I have both.

00:36:50.000 Really?

00:36:51.000 Yeah, you know why?

00:36:51.000 Why?

00:36:52.000 Because Windows has more options, and when you have more options, you get better configurations.

00:36:56.000 You get better keyboards.

00:36:57.000 Right.

00:36:57.000 Like, I have a Lenovo ThinkPad.

00:36:59.000 Oh, look at you.

00:37:00.000 Dude, they're the shit.

00:37:01.000 Yeah.

00:37:01.000 It's way better to write on.

00:37:03.000 Right.

00:37:03.000 Like, the tactile feedback and the travel distance and the keys is so much longer.

00:37:07.000 Right.

00:37:08.000 You just know where you're typing.

00:37:09.000 Right.

00:37:09.000 And for me, as a writer, when I'm writing, like I'm writing stand-up or something like that, it requires less thinking.

00:37:15.000 Right.

00:37:15.000 Because my fingers just find the keys easier.

00:37:17.000 I mean like 10% plus easier.

00:37:20.000 And I bought an older Apple laptop too.

00:37:23.000 I bought a 2015, a refurbished one, because their keyboards were superior.

00:37:27.000 Yes, the new ones are so low profile.

00:37:29.000 They're terrible.

00:37:30.000 They're terrible.

00:37:31.000 It's the shittiest fucking keyboard of any computer that you can buy today is a new MacBook Pro.

00:37:36.000 And they got busted for that because now, because their keyboards are so shitty, you have to take them back now.

00:37:41.000 They're doing recalls on the keyboards.

00:37:42.000 Well, they do have a new patent that they put out for a variable height keyboard where the key travel will vary and the key resistance will vary.

00:37:52.000 Interesting.

00:37:52.000 Yeah, there's a new patent that they filed for.

00:37:54.000 It doesn't necessarily mean they even have the technology for it.

00:37:56.000 Right.

00:37:57.000 That sounds expensive.

00:37:58.000 I don't know why.

00:37:58.000 Well, I mean, if it's something you could press with a button that just raises the keys up, that would be like a solution.

00:38:04.000 Because if you think about the flatness of the key, the idea is they want to keep a low profile to this laptop or make it thin and sexy, which is like fucking weird.

00:38:12.000 Whatever.

00:38:13.000 I don't have the ThinkPad with me, but I have the X1 Carbon.

00:38:17.000 It's super thin.

00:38:18.000 And it weighs nothing.

00:38:20.000 And the battery life is excellent.

00:38:22.000 It lasts like six months.

00:38:22.000 Dude, it's a fucking great laptop.

00:38:25.000 So Apple, they're just only Apple.

00:38:28.000 And the problem with that one company only selling laptops is you just don't have enough variety.

00:38:33.000 There's not enough people that are offering challenges to it.

00:38:36.000 They don't have any challenges.

00:38:38.000 In fact, their biggest challenge is the Huawei MateBook.

00:38:42.000 Huawei basically stole their idea, but made it way better.

00:38:47.000 They made, oh, I see what you guys are doing.

00:38:49.000 You guys are fucking up.

00:38:50.000 We're going to do that too.

00:38:51.000 We're going to make it with better keys.

00:38:53.000 We're going to have no bezels on the side of the screen.

00:38:55.000 And you know, everyone's concerned about security.

00:38:57.000 Well, we're just going to have the webcam pop up as a key.

00:38:59.000 Have you seen that one?

00:39:00.000 No, I haven't.

00:39:00.000 Dude, it's dope.

00:39:01.000 That sounds next level shit.

00:39:02.000 I want to see that.

00:39:03.000 Huawei.

00:39:03.000 Am I saying that right?

00:39:04.000 That's it.

00:39:05.000 Come on, bro.

00:39:05.000 Oh, shoot.

00:39:06.000 Look at that.

00:39:06.000 That's dope as fuck.

00:39:07.000 Look, no bezels.

00:39:08.000 No bezels.

00:39:09.000 No room for the webcam.

00:39:11.000 Yeah.

00:39:11.000 And it has great keyboard travel, too.

00:39:13.000 I think it's like 1.5 millimeter key travel.

00:39:16.000 Which, if you're a person who writes all the time, I need to get my thoughts out.

00:39:20.000 I'm stupid, man.

00:39:21.000 Do you write a lot?

00:39:22.000 Do you write a lot?

00:39:22.000 I write a lot.

00:39:23.000 Stand up.

00:39:24.000 Yeah.

00:39:24.000 And I just write things and I extract stand up from them.

00:39:27.000 Right.

00:39:27.000 But when I write, I don't need to be fucking with the keys, man.

00:39:31.000 So why do you use your Mac, then?

00:39:33.000 You list all these pros about the PC, but why do you buy a Mac?

00:39:35.000 Because I like to have both.

00:39:36.000 I use that when I travel, because I don't write as much when I travel, but I like to watch movies and shit.

00:39:41.000 Oh, look at that!

00:39:42.000 Yeah, pops up.

00:39:42.000 What?

00:39:43.000 How about that?

00:39:44.000 The F6 key or something?

00:39:45.000 It looks right up your nose, son.

00:39:47.000 That's pretty wild.

00:39:48.000 No, but that's good because the biggest thing is like when you're, you probably have like a Skype meetings or whatever, or Google Hangouts.

00:39:56.000 The worst thing in the world is like the camera turning on automatically.

00:40:00.000 That's a lie right there.

00:40:01.000 That image is a lie.

00:40:02.000 Let me see.

00:40:02.000 Go back.

00:40:02.000 That is not what it looks like.

00:40:04.000 Yeah, I know.

00:40:04.000 That's impossible.

00:40:05.000 That's not even the right viewpoint.

00:40:06.000 Yeah, that's ridiculous.

00:40:07.000 No one's that good looking either.

00:40:08.000 Yeah, she's pretty hot.

00:40:09.000 Yeah.

00:40:12.000 Yeah, but it does pop up, man.

00:40:14.000 That's insane.

00:40:14.000 So that's the thing, because it looks just like a Mac.

00:40:17.000 Yep, it looks just like a Mac, except it has more key travel, more comfortable, and that upper right-hand corner, that power button, is also a fingerprint reader.

00:40:25.000 Oh.

00:40:26.000 Fuck it!

00:40:27.000 I'm going to buy one right now.

00:40:28.000 They're the shit.

00:40:29.000 I would use one.

00:40:31.000 But you don't have one?

00:40:31.000 No.

00:40:32.000 Why not?

00:40:32.000 But I have a Lenovo.

00:40:33.000 Lenovo, yeah, yeah.

00:40:34.000 Which is great.

00:40:35.000 Whatever.

00:40:35.000 I mean, this is just...

00:40:36.000 It's all just better options.

00:40:39.000 Right.

00:40:39.000 The only difference is Windows is not as good as Mac OS. But it's not that much worse.

00:40:44.000 No, it's really not.

00:40:45.000 It's pretty fucking close.

00:40:46.000 Windows 10 is pretty fucking good.

00:40:48.000 I didn't see what this runs.

00:40:49.000 What is it running?

00:40:49.000 Windows or something?

00:40:50.000 It's Windows.

00:40:50.000 Windows 10. Windows?

00:40:51.000 Yeah, Windows.

00:40:52.000 Windows 10. Yeah.

00:40:53.000 Sure, it's not Android?

00:40:54.000 No, that's quite no sense.

00:40:55.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:40:55.000 It would have to be one of those Chromebooks if it was going to run Android, which apparently is very good, too.

00:41:01.000 But the Chromebook designs are really nice, too.

00:41:02.000 Very nice.

00:41:02.000 They're super nice.

00:41:03.000 And you can get one super cheap.

00:41:04.000 Right, and the battery lasts like three months.

00:41:06.000 Yeah.

00:41:06.000 That's forever.

00:41:07.000 And if you're just putting documents, you put them in your Google Docs in the cloud, you pull it up instantaneously.

00:41:11.000 Go on Drive?

00:41:12.000 No, it's great, man.

00:41:12.000 But Huawei's a weird company, man.

00:41:14.000 Like, I don't know what I feel about them.

00:41:16.000 I'm buying into all this government propaganda about the Chinese spying on us.

00:41:20.000 Yeah, it's definitely spying on you, for sure.

00:41:22.000 Well, dude, I've had my credit card stolen, my number stolen three times this year.

00:41:27.000 Why?

00:41:27.000 How?

00:41:27.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:41:28.000 It's never happened to me.

00:41:29.000 Yeah, well.

00:41:29.000 I think the more money you have, the more stuff you get stolen.

00:41:31.000 Maybe.

00:41:32.000 Yeah, maybe people find out.

00:41:34.000 It's annoying, though.

00:41:35.000 Like, I got a charge, but I have an app on my phone that shows me the charge, and it was during a podcast.

00:41:40.000 Well, I'm like, well, that definitely wasn't me.

00:41:41.000 Yeah, no, definitely not.

00:41:42.000 They get you with, like, $10 ones.

00:41:44.000 Like, a little $3, $10.

00:41:46.000 To test the waters.

00:41:47.000 Look at this.

00:41:47.000 Quad microphones accurately pick up sound from four meters away with a Huawei.

00:41:52.000 What?

00:41:52.000 Is that real?

00:41:53.000 They're spying on you, bro.

00:41:54.000 Yeah.

00:41:55.000 What they're not telling you is the microphones are always active.

00:41:59.000 Always on.

00:42:00.000 Yeah.

00:42:00.000 Just like your phone?

00:42:01.000 They're always listening to you.

00:42:02.000 Government, bro.

00:42:03.000 Translate.

00:42:03.000 It's multiple people.

00:42:04.000 Oh, great.

00:42:05.000 Microsoft Translator.

00:42:06.000 You hear about the new TVs.

00:42:07.000 You hear about the LG TVs that were constantly listening to conversations.

00:42:12.000 Wonderful.

00:42:12.000 And they told you, if you want to have a private, confidential conversation, don't have it in front of the TV. That's what they were basically saying.

00:42:19.000 What if you bang your wife in front of the TV? That's interesting.

00:42:22.000 Yeah.

00:42:22.000 Does it have cameras on them?

00:42:23.000 They have cameras too, yeah.

00:42:25.000 I think it live streams that.

00:42:26.000 I think it's like a sex mode.

00:42:28.000 After a while, everyone's just going to watch everybody do everything.

00:42:30.000 I really think within a hundred years, that's going to be the case.

00:42:34.000 That's the case now, man.

00:42:35.000 But I think it's kind of like...

00:42:36.000 Vloggers and like, you know, I'm on YouTube.

00:42:38.000 You know how that goes.

00:42:38.000 Everyone wants to see, oh, what are you doing now?

00:42:41.000 What are you doing now?

00:42:41.000 I didn't get a video last week.

00:42:42.000 What's going on?

00:42:43.000 What are you doing now?

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:44.000 You know?

00:42:45.000 It's...

00:42:46.000 But what we accept is way different than what our parents accepted or what their parents accepted.

00:42:51.000 And I think what our children accept is going to be way different.

00:42:53.000 And then what their children accept is going to be...

00:42:55.000 We're like two, three generations from it just being ridiculous, where there's no privacy.

00:42:59.000 How do you distance yourself?

00:43:00.000 Because you're a public figure, right?

00:43:02.000 How do you distance yourself?

00:43:04.000 Where do you draw the line for privacy, I guess you could say?

00:43:07.000 The real problem is when you're eating, man.

00:43:09.000 When people, like, come up to you while you have, like, I'll have a kid in my lap, and I'll be eating food and talking to the kid, and someone will literally come up to me and try to take a picture with me, ask me to take a picture with me.

00:43:21.000 I'm like, come on, man.

00:43:22.000 We're all out eating at a restaurant.

00:43:24.000 This is like, you know, just say hi.

00:43:26.000 Just say hi, man.

00:43:27.000 And I always tell people, when I'm done, I'm leaving, I'll take a picture with you.

00:43:30.000 But you can't.

00:43:31.000 You can't just interrupt dinner.

00:43:33.000 That's insane, man.

00:43:34.000 But it's just people think like if they don't get a picture with you right now, I've got to get it right now.

00:43:39.000 Now, now, now.

00:43:39.000 Fuck it, I don't care.

00:43:40.000 I'm going in.

00:43:40.000 I'm going to ask them.

00:43:41.000 Right.

00:43:41.000 And they don't care.

00:43:42.000 I mean, and then they'll say, hey, that's the price you pay for being famous.

00:43:46.000 It's like, no, come on, guys.

00:43:47.000 That's not true.

00:43:48.000 That's crazy.

00:43:49.000 Look, this is the deal.

00:43:50.000 The deal is someone provides something that you enjoy, whether it's stand-up or a thing, and I appreciate that you enjoy it.

00:43:57.000 Right.

00:43:58.000 But that's our exchange.

00:43:59.000 Right.

00:43:59.000 All the other stuff...

00:44:00.000 I don't owe you anything else.

00:44:01.000 It's like meeting me at a restaurant and shit when I'm eating with my kid.

00:44:05.000 Yeah.

00:44:05.000 Like, come on, man.

00:44:06.000 You're asking for too much.

00:44:08.000 This is ridiculous.

00:44:08.000 Well, here's another question for you.

00:44:09.000 What kind of restaurants do you eat at where people feel they need to come up to you?

00:44:13.000 It was a regular restaurant.

00:44:14.000 Do you get a high-end, right?

00:44:14.000 Like Applebee's and stuff?

00:44:15.000 High-end.

00:44:17.000 High-end Applebee's.

00:44:18.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:44:19.000 I eat regular places.

00:44:20.000 Normal spots.

00:44:22.000 It's not normal that someone does that.

00:44:24.000 Most people are super respectful.

00:44:25.000 Right.

00:44:25.000 But all it takes is one out of a hundred.

00:44:27.000 True.

00:44:27.000 And the night just gets weird, you know?

00:44:29.000 And most people don't.

00:44:31.000 Most people are cool, but it's every now and then people just have this idea that somehow or another you have to, if you are a famous person, you have to abandon everything.

00:44:39.000 That's the other thing, that you're not a person anymore.

00:44:42.000 You're like a famous person.

00:44:44.000 It's like the regular rules of meeting someone don't apply.

00:44:48.000 You would never just barge in on a regular person that you didn't know.

00:44:52.000 But if it's a regular famous person, people, they don't give a fuck.

00:44:55.000 Oh, this is fine.

00:44:56.000 You could be having a conversation where you and your friend are both crying and talking about someone that died.

00:45:01.000 People don't give a fuck.

00:45:03.000 Hey, man, I'm sorry to interrupt, bro.

00:45:04.000 Do I get that picture?

00:45:05.000 Do I get that picture, bro?

00:45:06.000 Damn.

00:45:07.000 Do I get that picture, bro?

00:45:08.000 So what's the weirdest interaction you've had with someone?

00:45:10.000 It's mostly just that kind of stuff.

00:45:12.000 Oh, no.

00:45:12.000 The weirdest shit is people that tell me that they're going to give me secrets.

00:45:16.000 Like UFO-type stuff, Bigfoot, and I know where the bases are.

00:45:20.000 Really?

00:45:20.000 Those motherfuckers, yeah, schizos.

00:45:23.000 I've had a few of those.

00:45:24.000 At restaurants?

00:45:25.000 Or just walking down the street?

00:45:25.000 No, just usually at comedy shows.

00:45:27.000 Yeah.

00:45:27.000 Yeah, usually at comedy shows.

00:45:29.000 Do you ever walk down the street?

00:45:30.000 That's a weird thing I just asked you.

00:45:31.000 I mean, because like when...

00:45:32.000 You're always either driving, you're going somewhere.

00:45:34.000 You ever go for a casual walk?

00:45:36.000 Not around...

00:45:37.000 Well, I do.

00:45:37.000 I walk my dog.

00:45:38.000 Right.

00:45:39.000 But no, I don't walk around L.A. Nobody does.

00:45:42.000 Nobody walks in L.A. There's like pockets of walking in L.A. Okay, so time out real quick.

00:45:47.000 Okay.

00:45:47.000 Real quick story.

00:45:48.000 We're talking with Rich.

00:45:49.000 So I landed.

00:45:50.000 Right.

00:45:51.000 You know Boston.

00:45:52.000 You know the deal in Boston.

00:45:54.000 So I landed and a buddy of mine picked me up from the airport and I got to where I was staying.

00:46:00.000 I was staying in the Mission District.

00:46:01.000 And you're like, look at all the sun, first of all.

00:46:03.000 It was freaking great.

00:46:03.000 The sun was awesome, right?

00:46:05.000 I was like, oh my gosh, sun.

00:46:06.000 No gray skies.

00:46:07.000 And then I looked down.

00:46:09.000 Literally homeless people everywhere.

00:46:12.000 What is going on with that?

00:46:14.000 It blew my mind because...

00:46:17.000 Literally, so I went to the gym in the morning, and I was like at 7 a.m., and I saw probably just as many homeless people living in tents next to buildings as there were people commuting to work.

00:46:30.000 Yeah.

00:46:30.000 Like thousands.

00:46:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:32.000 It's amazing.

00:46:32.000 Have you been to Skid Row yet?

00:46:34.000 No.

00:46:34.000 God, I'm scared.

00:46:35.000 Dude, you got to go.

00:46:36.000 You should go while you're here because it's like the Grand Canyon.

00:46:38.000 Really?

00:46:38.000 It's like the Grand Canyon of homeless people.

00:46:40.000 Why would I want to go there?

00:46:41.000 Because you can't believe the...

00:46:43.000 It's like...

00:46:43.000 Did you watch the Battle of Winterfell?

00:46:46.000 Game of Thrones?

00:46:47.000 No.

00:46:47.000 Don't tell me.

00:46:47.000 No spoiler alerts.

00:46:48.000 No.

00:46:48.000 I won't give any spoiler alerts.

00:46:50.000 I'll have to come up with a better...

00:46:51.000 Okay.

00:46:52.000 Here's a better analogy.

00:46:53.000 Did you ever see I Am Legend?

00:46:55.000 Yes.

00:46:56.000 Okay.

00:46:56.000 Remember when all the fucking crazy zombie people are running at once?

00:46:59.000 Yeah.

00:46:59.000 That's what it's like.

00:47:00.000 Are you serious?

00:47:01.000 I'm telling you, you can't believe the volume.

00:47:03.000 Doesn't someone even like...

00:47:04.000 In Boston, listen.

00:47:06.000 They freeze to death and die, right?

00:47:08.000 Yes, exactly.

00:47:10.000 So no, in Boston, we hide our homeless people.

00:47:14.000 We have like shelters and stuff.

00:47:15.000 We hide them.

00:47:16.000 For the most part, you know, Downtown Crossing, Area Park Street, whatever.

00:47:19.000 They're like the junkies that like have that, the whole gangster lean.

00:47:21.000 They just lean and close their eyes and stuff.

00:47:23.000 Right, right.

00:47:23.000 For the most part, right?

00:47:24.000 And then we, you know, it gets cold.

00:47:25.000 They scatter.

00:47:26.000 I don't know where they go, but you don't really see them that much.

00:47:28.000 You know, I'm not being rude.

00:47:29.000 Like, I don't mind seeing them.

00:47:30.000 It's great.

00:47:30.000 But like, in Sanford, they're in your face, man.

00:47:33.000 Like you, I've...

00:47:34.000 If...

00:47:35.000 San Francisco is the craziest.

00:47:37.000 It was insane.

00:47:38.000 So like, honestly, and I know one of my friends, he said, listen, you know, come to my house, you know, whatever, we're going to hang out for a bit, school, no problem.

00:47:45.000 Went to his house, like, you know, small place, not about a thousand square feet.

00:47:50.000 I'm like, pretty nice.

00:47:51.000 He goes, yeah, you know, I'm kind of, you know, things are a little tough.

00:47:53.000 Can I, you know, can I borrow some money?

00:47:55.000 I was like, borrow money from me?

00:47:56.000 What are you talking about, dude?

00:47:57.000 This is, you live in, you know, you're doing okay.

00:48:00.000 He's like, yeah, I live in paycheck to paycheck.

00:48:01.000 I was like, what?

00:48:02.000 What are you talking about?

00:48:03.000 I'm like, this is a, this is like, you know, you got a decent place.

00:48:06.000 The house that we were in was a $1.6 million house and it was this big.

00:48:13.000 And I'm like, everything's expensive, man.

00:48:17.000 It's so stupid.

00:48:18.000 And then another friend of mine said, listen, hey, come to my house, you know, and I pull up to the house.

00:48:22.000 It's a warehouse.

00:48:23.000 Like, they live in a warehouse.

00:48:25.000 That's actually cool.

00:48:26.000 You can live like Blade.

00:48:28.000 Remember?

00:48:28.000 Wesley Snipes lives with Chris Christopherson.

00:48:32.000 You're right, you're right.

00:48:32.000 He had the motorcycle.

00:48:34.000 He had the fucking charger, the Dodge Charger.

00:48:36.000 But it sounds cool.

00:48:37.000 When you have kids, living in a warehouse isn't that great.

00:48:39.000 No way, no.

00:48:40.000 So that's the thing.

00:48:41.000 It's a common thing, I've noticed, for people to live in either abandoned buildings, warehouses, and cars.

00:48:48.000 Yeah.

00:48:49.000 You know how people that live in cars, and the amount of smashed windows that I've seen here, it's...

00:48:54.000 I couldn't believe it.

00:48:55.000 Well, most of those people living in cars are actually stand-up comedians.

00:48:59.000 In LA, everybody has a fucking story.

00:49:02.000 So many comics come here, and when they first settle in, they live in their car.

00:49:06.000 That's super normal.

00:49:08.000 That's just crazy.

00:49:09.000 Maybe like 10 of my friends lived in their car.

00:49:12.000 Literally live in cars.

00:49:13.000 Or used to, at least, and then got an apartment eventually.

00:49:15.000 Got a bigger car.

00:49:16.000 Well, that's an issue we're having around here.

00:49:18.000 We're having around here with these people that live in caravans.

00:49:21.000 They live in these mobile home things.

00:49:23.000 I've seen them, yeah.

00:49:23.000 Yes.

00:49:24.000 If you drive around this community, you go down certain streets and you just see these mobile homes.

00:49:29.000 Massive caravans, yeah.

00:49:30.000 Yeah, and they have towels over the windows.

00:49:34.000 I saw that.

00:49:34.000 They're cooking meth inside of them.

00:49:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:36.000 Bro, these are dirty people, some of these fuckers.

00:49:38.000 I don't...

00:49:39.000 So how come...

00:49:40.000 Again, in Boston, we just kind of say, hey, there's no likely no loitering.

00:49:43.000 Well, they're kicking people out now because businesses are complaining because there was one business where this guy had parked his caravan right in front of it.

00:49:51.000 This is where a buddy of mine works.

00:49:53.000 And this dude had laid out his blanket on their front lawn and was sunning himself in front of his caravan.

00:50:01.000 So the front of his building became this guy's lawn.

00:50:05.000 Yeah.

00:50:06.000 So this guy in this caravan was literally using...

00:50:09.000 They were sharing grass.

00:50:11.000 So he's got this multi-million dollar building, and he's sharing it with a homeless guy who's cooking meth.

00:50:16.000 Or I don't know if it's meth, but it's some white, noxious smoke that comes out of the fucking place.

00:50:23.000 I couldn't...

00:50:24.000 So it's...

00:50:25.000 It was different for me.

00:50:26.000 The weather's awesome, but that was a big thing.

00:50:27.000 And I feel like, as I'm walking around more, if I see a large standing body of water, I'm like, there's a homeless guy living there, too?

00:50:33.000 People are just everywhere.

00:50:34.000 They're everywhere.

00:50:35.000 I'm telling you, what you saw is nothing.

00:50:37.000 Well, you've got to go to Skid Row.

00:50:39.000 What is this?

00:50:40.000 Is that Skid Row?

00:50:40.000 Skid Row.

00:50:41.000 This is Google Maps.

00:50:42.000 Skid Row.

00:50:42.000 I just started snooping around.

00:50:43.000 They must have cleaned it up right before.

00:50:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:47.000 That ain't shit.

00:50:48.000 That ain't shit.

00:50:49.000 Let me tell you something, man.

00:50:50.000 Look at that.

00:50:51.000 Look at all that to the right and to the left.

00:50:53.000 It's fucking crazy.

00:50:54.000 So how do people...

00:50:55.000 Some people have businesses there.

00:50:56.000 They don't.

00:50:56.000 Or they just deal with it.

00:50:57.000 They just deal with it, most of them.

00:50:58.000 Most of those people, they just put all, like, gates and locks and shit and deal with it.

00:51:02.000 So what's on Skid Row business-wise?

00:51:05.000 Back up where you just were, Jamie?

00:51:06.000 Where you just were?

00:51:07.000 Well, it's a lot of warehouses and shit.

00:51:10.000 But the interesting thing is this area is getting, air quotes, gentrified.

00:51:14.000 So this is where a lot of businesses are going now.

00:51:18.000 They're opening up apartment buildings.

00:51:20.000 A buddy of mine has lived there.

00:51:22.000 My friend Magnus, Magnus Walker, he's a famous car guy too.

00:51:25.000 I don't know if you know who he is.

00:51:26.000 He's got all these videos of Porsches.

00:51:28.000 He rebuilds old Porsches.

00:51:29.000 He's got these crazy dreadlocks and beard and crazy Englishmen.

00:51:33.000 But he's been living down there forever.

00:51:35.000 And he has this warehouse where he has it set up where his living space is one part of the warehouse and then down below he has these cars.

00:51:44.000 And he has it all set up.

00:51:45.000 But if you drive down some of these roads, you'll see these super expensive apartment buildings that are going up now.

00:51:53.000 And then a block over, you'll see these homeless encampments.

00:51:56.000 And people think it's cute to be around all this dirt.

00:52:01.000 What is this?

00:52:01.000 There we go.

00:52:02.000 Nice.

00:52:02.000 So that's someone's apartment.

00:52:04.000 What's going on here?

00:52:05.000 Yeah.

00:52:05.000 They just set up tents, and then the cops kick them out, and they just come back, and they move, and then they come back.

00:52:10.000 But they make these encampments, and you just have to deal with it.

00:52:15.000 So it's like, if you live in that area, you just have to jump over needles and try to figure your way through it.

00:52:21.000 I feel terrible, because most of this is either drug addiction or mental illness.

00:52:27.000 Those are the real problems.

00:52:29.000 Do you guys have no drug addiction or mental illness, like, places that you could go to for help here?

00:52:33.000 I don't I don't know what it is, man.

00:52:35.000 I don't know enough about it.

00:52:36.000 I'm entirely ignorant about what's going on.

00:52:40.000 I know that if you talk to people that work in the field, that work with these folks, they say that it all really started to happen.

00:52:46.000 Look at this guy.

00:52:46.000 He's like, run over my legs.

00:52:48.000 Fuck, and I need disability.

00:52:49.000 Oh my goodness, man.

00:52:50.000 That's crazy.

00:52:52.000 People laying on the street.

00:52:54.000 Honestly, if you were to take a screenshot of what you just showed me, I'd be like, okay, that's some third world country.

00:52:59.000 This is LA. People can't even afford to live in LA. I know.

00:53:02.000 It might as well be a third world country, though.

00:53:04.000 I mean, it might as well be the apocalypse.

00:53:06.000 It's the apocalypse for those folks.

00:53:08.000 I mean, at least they're around all these cars and shit, but I mean, there are thousands of homeless people in that whole Skid Row area.

00:53:15.000 They're right next to the Mission there.

00:53:16.000 Yes, that's one of the things that keeps them there, I guess.

00:53:19.000 Well, they have like four beds or like three beds in the whole thing?

00:53:21.000 I don't know, man.

00:53:22.000 That's wild, man.

00:53:23.000 But they allow most of this to go on.

00:53:26.000 I don't know how often they break it up and make people move, but the numbers are so high, there's not much they can do.

00:53:32.000 Man, that's crazy.

00:53:33.000 That's sad, man.

00:53:34.000 It's sad.

00:53:34.000 That's super sad.

00:53:35.000 But what do you do?

00:53:36.000 How do you fix that?

00:53:36.000 Like, I don't have any solution.

00:53:38.000 I mean, you can't tell people this shit.

00:53:40.000 What is that?

00:53:41.000 It's a documentary.

00:53:42.000 Do you remember Proz from the Fugees?

00:53:43.000 Yeah, yeah, Proz.

00:53:44.000 He went and spent three days down there undercover in quotes where he had people filming him, experiencing it, and then he'd come back and do an interview of what he just went through and It came out 10 years ago, so it's different.

00:53:56.000 I'm assuming it's worse now, but it's definitely not good in this documentary.

00:54:02.000 It's crazy.

00:54:02.000 So I was on my one wheel, right?

00:54:05.000 Just riding by.

00:54:06.000 I was commuting back and forth.

00:54:07.000 By the way, that thing is badass.

00:54:08.000 It's pretty crazy, right?

00:54:09.000 Yeah, I rode yours today.

00:54:11.000 You did ride mine.

00:54:12.000 It was good.

00:54:12.000 And after watching you scoot around effortlessly, I was like, how hard could it be?

00:54:16.000 You need one.

00:54:17.000 You should get one.

00:54:18.000 I also don't need broken elbows.

00:54:20.000 Honestly, it's a good core workout.

00:54:23.000 I'm sure it is.

00:54:24.000 It's a great workout.

00:54:25.000 I think it's a better core workout.

00:54:27.000 I'll show you this hip and glute machine from Rogue where you put your ankles in this thing and you lean all the way back and go all the way up.

00:54:34.000 You have some next level shit here, by the way.

00:54:36.000 You have some cool stuff, man.

00:54:37.000 It's awesome.

00:54:38.000 Man warehouse.

00:54:40.000 Can I live here?

00:54:41.000 Sure.

00:54:42.000 There's plenty of room.

00:54:43.000 There's tons of room.

00:54:44.000 Bring a tent.

00:54:45.000 You camp out of the jiu-jitsu mats.

00:54:48.000 But yeah, so I was riding my one wheel past this kind of overpass.

00:54:54.000 And there was a tent there.

00:54:55.000 And like a lady sticks her hand out and she offers me a chocolate, what was it?

00:55:01.000 I think it was a chocolate ladybug, right?

00:55:04.000 It was a ladybug wrapped in like that tin that makes it look like chocolate or whatever.

00:55:07.000 I'm like, oh, I'm like, no, thank you, no, thank you.

00:55:09.000 Right back in the next day, offers it to me again.

00:55:10.000 I was like, no, thank you, no, thank you.

00:55:11.000 I was like, you know what?

00:55:12.000 I'm going to like, you know, do something nice, right?

00:55:15.000 So I get five bucks.

00:55:17.000 And I was like, I'll give it to her, you know, nice gesture.

00:55:21.000 I write up, you know, I give her, you know, I hand her the five bucks.

00:55:24.000 As I start slowing down on the one wheel, other people started popping their heads out of the tents and they actually saw me give her the money and immediately a guy runs out and like snatches it directly out of her hand.

00:55:45.000 I'm just like, I've never seen anything like that before.

00:55:51.000 I know I'm really passionate about that, but I just can't stop thinking about it.

00:55:55.000 It's crazy.

00:55:55.000 It's really crazy out here, man.

00:55:57.000 That's crazy.

00:55:58.000 And everyone comes to LA, California to get their big break.

00:56:04.000 Like, oh, I'm going to be like a famous whatever, famous actor, singer, exotic dancer, porn star, whatever.

00:56:10.000 And the struggle's real out here.

00:56:12.000 It's real.

00:56:13.000 It's real everywhere, but whenever you get giant groups of people, you're going to get a higher percentage of people that are out here that are homeless or struggling.

00:56:22.000 Right.

00:56:23.000 Again, I don't know what the – what's the solution?

00:56:26.000 Yeah.

00:56:26.000 No idea.

00:56:27.000 I know they don't put enough effort into it.

00:56:29.000 Whatever the solution is, that's one of the arguments that – who was it?

00:56:35.000 Someone made.

00:56:36.000 Was it Cher?

00:56:37.000 Someone unlikely – I had a really good argument that everybody is so concerned about illegal aliens getting into this country and so not concerned about our homeless problem.

00:56:47.000 And what the fuck is that about?

00:56:49.000 There's people right here, right now, that we're not taken care of.

00:56:53.000 And you're like, but these people from other countries, they're trying to...

00:56:55.000 Oh, but we're trying to do this now.

00:56:57.000 My take on that, though, is, but those people are trying to do better.

00:57:01.000 They just got fucked.

00:57:02.000 Whereas the other people live in America.

00:57:04.000 Okay, vets, too.

00:57:06.000 Many are vets.

00:57:06.000 It's Cher.

00:57:07.000 Look at her.

00:57:07.000 That's what happens when an old lady...

00:57:09.000 Does she still look that good?

00:57:11.000 What's she look like now?

00:57:11.000 She's going back in time, bro.

00:57:12.000 How old is Cher?

00:57:13.000 She's 12. She went back in time.

00:57:17.000 If my state can't...

00:57:19.000 First of all, this is my problem.

00:57:21.000 Why is this bitch capitalizing every word?

00:57:23.000 Oh, that's frustrating.

00:57:25.000 Oh my god, I just noticed that.

00:57:26.000 She's capitalizing all of them, and then afterwards, she's capitalizing the first letter.

00:57:31.000 The whole sentence.

00:57:31.000 Yeah.

00:57:32.000 If, capital, M-Y, capital, S-T-A-T-E. Does she have someone to write this for her?

00:57:37.000 I don't understand.

00:57:37.000 Must be.

00:57:38.000 Must be.

00:57:38.000 She's got an assistant.

00:57:39.000 She's got an assistant who hates her.

00:57:41.000 She's like, I'm subtly going to make this bitch look stupid.

00:57:45.000 I'm tired of her and her fake pictures and her Photoshop filters.

00:57:49.000 Fuck you, Cher!

00:57:49.000 Can we find a recent photo of Cher?

00:57:53.000 How old is Cher, actually?

00:57:54.000 She's 150. I would say she's 65. How old do you think she is?

00:58:00.000 Take a guess.

00:58:00.000 How old do you think she is?

00:58:04.000 60...

00:58:04.000 Maybe 70. 72. 72!

00:58:08.000 Damn.

00:58:09.000 She's actually about to turn 73 in a couple weeks.

00:58:11.000 Are you serious?

00:58:12.000 When I was a kid.

00:58:13.000 Well, it makes sense.

00:58:14.000 Man, I'm 51. That's her like 20 years ago.

00:58:18.000 No way.

00:58:18.000 That's her yesterday, you asshole.

00:58:20.000 No way.

00:58:21.000 You're misogyny.

00:58:23.000 Is that what money does?

00:58:25.000 That's some vampire facial.

00:58:26.000 Is that what money does?

00:58:27.000 I gotta get some money.

00:58:28.000 Yeah, you gotta get that money.

00:58:29.000 Money gets you good Google search pictures.

00:58:31.000 That's all it gets you.

00:58:34.000 Oh, wow.

00:58:35.000 That's legit.

00:58:37.000 But that's what they sound like when they get to that age.

00:58:40.000 They start talking crazy.

00:58:41.000 Is that her real hair?

00:58:42.000 100%.

00:58:42.000 She bought it.

00:58:45.000 She owns it.

00:58:46.000 She does own that hair, yes.

00:58:47.000 She looks pretty good, man.

00:58:48.000 Yeah, man.

00:58:49.000 She looks good.

00:58:49.000 She married?

00:58:50.000 You want that?

00:58:51.000 No, I do not.

00:58:52.000 I don't know why I asked that.

00:58:53.000 That was a weird segue.

00:58:54.000 Well, the move is, like, you know, really get her to sign no prenup, you know, and how much time she got left.

00:58:59.000 Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.

00:59:00.000 I mean, if you could hang in there for 20 years, what are the odds that she can, too?

00:59:04.000 I got waited out.

00:59:06.000 You got waited out.

00:59:07.000 Man.

00:59:07.000 That's awful.

00:59:08.000 Oh, good for her.

00:59:09.000 This is announced on our tour this year, this picture.

00:59:11.000 Oh, shit.

00:59:13.000 What the fuck it is, bro?

00:59:14.000 Let me tell you something.

00:59:15.000 People use my old pictures from my tour.

00:59:17.000 I don't even ask them to.

00:59:20.000 If you find that picture of me against a brick wall, we took that shit back at the old studio.

00:59:25.000 That picture's like four years old.

00:59:27.000 Yeah, she's on tour.

00:59:30.000 Congratulations.

00:59:30.000 Yeah, good for her.

00:59:31.000 We were talking about vampire facials that some ladies, Jeff told us, this lady, two people got HIV. They got AIDS, right?

00:59:38.000 Yeah.

00:59:39.000 Not necessarily AIDS. Sorry, I jumped the gun.

00:59:40.000 I know.

00:59:41.000 I jumped the gun.

00:59:41.000 I apologize.

00:59:42.000 But it's more fun to say AIDS than HIV. I apologize for him with HIV. AIDS is like, it feels like you're not even supposed to say AIDS. Yeah, like you can't say AIDS. It's like if you say AIDS, you're like, whoa, you insensitive asshole.

00:59:51.000 Slow down, brother.

00:59:52.000 Two tests positive for HIV after vampire facial.

00:59:55.000 It says vampire facial is girls get jabbed in the face with some...

01:00:00.000 Is it plasma?

01:00:01.000 What is it, PRP? What are they doing?

01:00:04.000 Didn't Kim Kardashian get that?

01:00:06.000 Something like that?

01:00:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:08.000 Yeah, she took pictures of it on the Insta.

01:00:10.000 I don't understand.

01:00:11.000 So, wait a minute.

01:00:13.000 Don't they get a new needle every time?

01:00:14.000 Use the same needle?

01:00:15.000 What's going on here?

01:00:17.000 No, there's Kim.

01:00:18.000 Beautiful.

01:00:19.000 Oh, hashtag awesome.

01:00:22.000 I don't know if they use other people's blood for the facial.

01:00:26.000 What?

01:00:27.000 P-pop stuff.

01:00:27.000 Yeah, I think that's probably what's going on.

01:00:29.000 I don't think it's that it's a used needle.

01:00:31.000 I think it's that they're using someone else's blood.

01:00:33.000 Why would you?

01:00:33.000 This doesn't make any sense.

01:00:35.000 Like, does this make sense to anyone?

01:00:36.000 No, because I would think that if you drew blood, you would draw it from yourself.

01:00:42.000 Oh, so it takes it from your body.

01:00:47.000 Right, so that is basically platelet-rich plasma.

01:00:50.000 But why would anybody get HIV unless you're giving it to yourself?

01:00:56.000 Maybe they already had HIV. Bam!

01:00:58.000 Myth busted.

01:00:59.000 Blaming it on Mexico, as per usual.

01:01:02.000 Why did she do it on her nose?

01:01:03.000 She did it on every part of her body but her nose.

01:01:05.000 She's scared of her nose.

01:01:07.000 She wants her nose to look old.

01:01:08.000 Because it's plastic.

01:01:09.000 Just kidding.

01:01:10.000 Just kidding, Cam, if you watch this.

01:01:11.000 I'm just kidding.

01:01:12.000 Just kidding.

01:01:12.000 LOL. Yeah.

01:01:15.000 So what happened to these fucking people?

01:01:16.000 Did they really use an old needle?

01:01:18.000 They probably already had AIDS. That's what it is.

01:01:21.000 These people are goddamn liars.

01:01:22.000 Because think about it for a second.

01:01:23.000 Why would you take an AIDS test before?

01:01:25.000 Right.

01:01:26.000 You know?

01:01:26.000 Ooh, we're getting deep.

01:01:27.000 I took an AIDS test before and after my facial.

01:01:29.000 And then I didn't even have AIDS until after my facial.

01:01:32.000 Congratulations.

01:01:33.000 Right.

01:01:33.000 Yeah.

01:01:34.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:01:35.000 That's like the Indian footage.

01:01:37.000 They found footprints of what they think is Bigfoot in India.

01:01:43.000 And people saying, hey, asshole, this is an animal hopping.

01:01:46.000 This thing's only got one leg.

01:01:48.000 If there's a Bigfoot, it's a one-legged Bigfoot, like some Dr. Seuss creature.

01:01:53.000 They're like, look, stupid.

01:01:54.000 That's not two feet.

01:01:55.000 That's not bipedal.

01:01:56.000 What do you guys do?

01:01:57.000 Look at that.

01:01:57.000 That's one leg.

01:01:58.000 Look at that.

01:01:59.000 Boing, boing, boing.

01:02:00.000 That's an animal jumping, you assholes.

01:02:02.000 Jesus Christ.

01:02:03.000 The thick part is where their butt lands.

01:02:05.000 The front part is their paws.

01:02:07.000 Right.

01:02:07.000 And they just keep going.

01:02:08.000 See?

01:02:08.000 You see one of them.

01:02:09.000 It's even broken up.

01:02:10.000 Like, look at that one picture where, like, one of those footprints is actually two separate marks in the snow.

01:02:16.000 Yeah.

01:02:16.000 I'm not even a wildlife biologist.

01:02:18.000 The one right there.

01:02:18.000 I'm not even a wildlife biologist.

01:02:20.000 That's a rabbit, bro.

01:02:21.000 That's a rabbit.

01:02:22.000 Those look kind of big to be a rabbit, though.

01:02:24.000 Yeah, it's pretty big for a rabbit.

01:02:25.000 Like a whole-body rabbit, you mean like the butt?

01:02:26.000 Yeah, like a fucking big-ass rabbit.

01:02:28.000 They have some big-ass rabbits.

01:02:29.000 How big do rabbits get?

01:02:30.000 In the Himalayas?

01:02:30.000 Dude, have you ever seen some...

01:02:31.000 I don't know.

01:02:31.000 That's what I'm wondering.

01:02:32.000 If this isn't the Himalayas, what is your animal it could be?

01:02:36.000 Well, one of the things, this is very interesting about animals, is that when they go further north, contrary to logic, like what you would think, they actually get larger.

01:02:45.000 You would think, well, it's colder up there.

01:02:47.000 They probably get smaller.

01:02:48.000 A little thicker.

01:02:48.000 But no, they preserve their body temperature by being larger.

01:02:52.000 That's why moose are so big.

01:02:53.000 They're the furthest north of all the cow species.

01:02:56.000 That kind of makes sense to me.

01:02:57.000 Totally makes sense.

01:02:58.000 If you get a deer from Mexico, they're tiny.

01:03:02.000 They're like 100 pounds.

01:03:02.000 Right.

01:03:03.000 There's a deer called a coos deer, and a really big one.

01:03:07.000 Cows are coos, depending on who you ask.

01:03:09.000 C-O-U-S. But it's a variation of the white-tailed deer that's really small.

01:03:13.000 It only weighs like 100 pounds.

01:03:15.000 And it's in Mexico.

01:03:16.000 A full-grown one is like a dog-sized.

01:03:18.000 And then there's other ones that are in Saskatchewan, the same species, that are 300 pounds.

01:03:24.000 How do you know so much about deers?

01:03:26.000 Because I kill them and I eat them.

01:03:27.000 Oh, you're a hunter.

01:03:28.000 I forgot you're a hunter.

01:03:28.000 That explains the giant bow outside.

01:03:30.000 Yeah.

01:03:31.000 Ah.

01:03:32.000 That's how I get my meat.

01:03:33.000 No, please.

01:03:34.000 You don't go to the supermarket like everyone else?

01:03:35.000 I do go to supermarkets.

01:03:36.000 Occasionally.

01:03:36.000 But most of the meat that I eat, I try to eat from animals that I kill.

01:03:40.000 Where do you hunt?

01:03:41.000 In L.A.? No.

01:03:42.000 L.A. is tricky.

01:03:43.000 The tents get in the way of your line of sight.

01:03:45.000 It's hard to line up.

01:03:47.000 But you can get a lot of coyote hunting in L.A. if you want.

01:03:50.000 There's fucking coyotes everywhere out here, man.

01:03:52.000 Would you eat a coyote from L.A.? I don't think I'd eat a coyote, period.

01:03:56.000 Unless it was a goof or I was really hungry.

01:04:01.000 You can eat them, though.

01:04:02.000 I mean, you can.

01:04:03.000 It's just meat.

01:04:04.000 Yeah.

01:04:05.000 You'd have to cook it really, really well, but when you cut away all the fur and mange and all the shit on the outside, you're just getting a tissue.

01:04:13.000 Where do you hunt, typically?

01:04:15.000 The mountains.

01:04:16.000 Usually, every year I go to Utah.

01:04:19.000 In the mountains of Utah.

01:04:21.000 What do you got, Jamie?

01:04:23.000 Further explanation on this.

01:04:24.000 Oh, it's a bear.

01:04:26.000 Yeah.

01:04:26.000 Okay.

01:04:26.000 They call a Yeti something different.

01:04:28.000 A Himalayan brown bear or a Tibetan blue bear.

01:04:31.000 Oh, what they call, with all due respect, what we call Yeti.

01:04:35.000 Is with all probability either...

01:04:38.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:04:38.000 Okay, it's not like they call the Himalayan bear a Yeti.

01:04:41.000 It's like they're saying that it was probably a bear that was making those marks.

01:04:44.000 That makes sense.

01:04:45.000 If those are big marks that the bear is hopping through the snow.

01:04:47.000 If it's thick snow, that makes sense.

01:04:50.000 That guy, Kunal, he's a nice guy with all due respect to everyone.

01:04:54.000 Very nice guy.

01:04:54.000 The single footprints are when the bear walks on four feet.

01:04:57.000 Yeah.

01:04:58.000 That makes sense.

01:04:59.000 All right.

01:05:00.000 Yeah.

01:05:00.000 So, yeah.

01:05:00.000 So, you go to Utah.

01:05:02.000 And you just wait?

01:05:04.000 Well, there's a lot of hiking.

01:05:06.000 You know, you go and essentially you go where you know that the elk are going to be in the area and when they're in the rut, which is when you hunt, that's when it's legal, which means they're mating and breeding and smashing heads together and shit.

01:05:19.000 Then you hear them.

01:05:20.000 You hear them scream at each other.

01:05:21.000 And you're ready to be killed.

01:05:22.000 Well, they are definitely ready to be killed then.

01:05:25.000 Little do they know.

01:05:26.000 Then you've got to figure out how to sneak in on them.

01:05:28.000 But they can't help themselves.

01:05:29.000 They're competing with all these other males.

01:05:31.000 So they're always like screaming at each other and smashing heads.

01:05:34.000 And occasionally you'll find one that's dead that was killed by another bull.

01:05:37.000 But you don't eat that?

01:05:38.000 No.

01:05:39.000 No, no, no.

01:05:39.000 You could.

01:05:40.000 I mean, you certainly could if it was like a recent kill.

01:05:42.000 Right.

01:05:43.000 If you knew.

01:05:43.000 If you got to it like right when it was dying.

01:05:46.000 Take temperature, yeah.

01:05:46.000 Yeah, the blood was still coming out of its body.

01:05:48.000 But you will find them.

01:05:49.000 They get stabbed and they kill each other.

01:05:52.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the whole reason why those antlers exist.

01:05:55.000 It's for war.

01:05:55.000 Yeah, for stabbing.

01:05:56.000 They just fuck each other up.

01:05:57.000 They don't even use it to defend against other animals, like wolves and shit.

01:06:00.000 They kick the wolves most of the time.

01:06:02.000 So how do you get the thing back?

01:06:03.000 Those things aren't light.

01:06:05.000 Yeah, you have to do what's called quartering it, which is you take the legs off, and you take the front legs off, and then you take the meat off the carcass, and then you take the heart and the liver and the edible organs, and you have to pack it out.

01:06:21.000 So you have a crew that goes with you?

01:06:23.000 Or is it just you with a big ass knife?

01:06:25.000 Look, I'm not very good at hunting.

01:06:28.000 I'm like, if hunting was a martial art, I'd be a blue belt.

01:06:32.000 A blue belt is like your white belt, blue belt, purple belt, brown belt, black belt.

01:06:36.000 I'm not a black belt.

01:06:37.000 I'm like a blue belt.

01:06:38.000 Maybe I could get my purple belt if I work real hard this year.

01:06:41.000 But I go with a guide who's going to take me to the places that I need to go and show me and a guy who's an experienced outdoorsman who basically teaches you.

01:06:50.000 It's like having a trainer in martial arts.

01:06:52.000 Exactly.

01:06:52.000 Like a sensei.

01:06:54.000 Yeah.

01:06:54.000 He knows the landscape.

01:06:56.000 He's a hardened outdoorsman.

01:06:58.000 These guys never get fucking tired.

01:07:00.000 And they'll go and take you and show you.

01:07:03.000 But then it's your job to execute the shot, your job to get close, your job to stalk in, your job to make sure that you don't get what's called winded.

01:07:12.000 It means the animal smells you, the wind's at your back, and the wind carries your scent towards the animal.

01:07:16.000 So you have to move around.

01:07:17.000 There's a lot of thought that goes into this.

01:07:18.000 There's a lot of thought that goes into this.

01:07:20.000 Well, I don't use a gun.

01:07:21.000 I use a bow.

01:07:22.000 Which is even crazier.

01:07:23.000 But I have used a gun.

01:07:24.000 I have.

01:07:25.000 Really?

01:07:25.000 I shot a bow once and it didn't go so well.

01:07:27.000 It's fun.

01:07:29.000 Just shooting targets is really fun.

01:07:31.000 It's very cathartic.

01:07:33.000 There's a release when that arrow finds its target.

01:07:36.000 It just feels really good.

01:07:38.000 It's probably some primitive shit from back when we used to rely on killing things with bows and arrows.

01:07:43.000 Like accuracy.

01:07:44.000 But there's something about hitting something.

01:07:46.000 When you're shooting something at a target and it hits it, it's very, very satisfying.

01:07:50.000 It's very rewarding, yeah, of course.

01:07:51.000 And when you do that with a bow and arrow, it's very difficult.

01:07:54.000 It's more challenging.

01:07:55.000 It's more rewarding.

01:07:55.000 Yeah.

01:07:56.000 I've never used a traditional bow.

01:07:57.000 I mean, I have, like, a couple of times, but I've never really tried to shoot with, like, a traditional bow or a recurve bow.

01:08:01.000 Oh, you have the kind of gun, but they also, like that.

01:08:03.000 No, no, I have a, you draw it.

01:08:06.000 I mean, you have to pull it back, but it's a compound bow.

01:08:08.000 It relies on these mechanical, these gears that, these, what do they call it, cams.

01:08:14.000 Is it like the bow in Walking Dead?

01:08:15.000 Maybe watch No, that's a crossbow.

01:08:16.000 That's a crossbow?

01:08:17.000 Yeah, that's a bullshit bow.

01:08:18.000 What that is is a shitty gun.

01:08:20.000 This guy's got a trigger.

01:08:21.000 He did pretty well with it, though.

01:08:21.000 I mean, he killed a lot of zombies.

01:08:23.000 It would make me very angry.

01:08:25.000 Very frustrated.

01:08:26.000 First of all, he doesn't even have a broadhead on that stupid thing.

01:08:29.000 He's shooting them with little pencil holes, and he's killing them instantly.

01:08:32.000 That's all he had access to.

01:08:34.000 Bitch, make a broadhead.

01:08:36.000 Make a broadhead, bro.

01:08:37.000 Break into a...

01:08:38.000 Break into a Bass Pro Shop.

01:08:39.000 Get yourself some broadheads.

01:08:41.000 You know, come on, man.

01:08:42.000 I actually did see a few Bass Pro Shops in Walking Dead.

01:08:44.000 They just walk right past them.

01:08:45.000 I was like, what are you guys doing?

01:08:46.000 Get in there, bro.

01:08:46.000 There's guns and nets and camping gear.

01:08:49.000 Kayaks.

01:08:50.000 So that's a crossbow.

01:08:51.000 And that's a very controversial weapon amongst outdoorsmen.

01:08:56.000 Why is that?

01:08:56.000 Because they use those during bow season.

01:08:59.000 Okay.

01:09:00.000 And there's a reason why bow season...

01:09:03.000 If you looked at statistics across the board, if you have what's called a tag, like say if you wanted to go deer hunting, you'd have to get a license and then you'd get a tag.

01:09:12.000 And if the tag was available for the area you wanted, you'd pay a certain amount for that tag.

01:09:16.000 Now, if you get a bow tag, they make the bow season earlier, you have a much higher likelihood of failure with a bow than you do with a gun.

01:09:28.000 So I could say like 50% of the people that got a tag, it's usually not that high, but if 50% of the people that got a tag for a rifle were successful, it might be 10% with a bow.

01:09:38.000 It might be even less.

01:09:39.000 It might be even less in some places, depending on how rugged the landscape is, how hard it is to get to where the animals are.

01:09:45.000 And you have to be able to shoot far accurately.

01:09:48.000 So do you do most of the shooting when you go up there?

01:09:50.000 I do all the shooting.

01:09:51.000 Yeah, I shoot them myself.

01:09:53.000 That's impressive, man.

01:09:54.000 That's a manly ass thing to do.

01:09:57.000 You do a lot of manly shit, I noticed.

01:09:59.000 I know.

01:10:00.000 I'm probably compensating for something.

01:10:01.000 I didn't want to say that, but yeah.

01:10:03.000 It's funny because you do a lot of...

01:10:05.000 I noticed that the whole MMA stand-up, making everyone laugh, and then I didn't know you hunted as well.

01:10:10.000 Well, you know what it is, man?

01:10:11.000 I don't have anybody telling me what to do.

01:10:13.000 So because I don't have anybody telling me what to do, I gravitate towards things that I'm really interested, which is why you're here.

01:10:18.000 Right.

01:10:19.000 Right?

01:10:19.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:20.000 I mean, I found out about your story.

01:10:22.000 I was like, that guy seems cool.

01:10:23.000 And then I saw YouTube videos.

01:10:24.000 I go, oh, he's cool.

01:10:25.000 All right.

01:10:25.000 Let's do this.

01:10:26.000 I mean, to have that kind of freedom in your life is a beautiful thing.

01:10:31.000 And I feel incredibly fortunate that I have that kind of freedom.

01:10:35.000 So I indulge it.

01:10:36.000 I indulge it like a little baby, like a child.

01:10:39.000 I just gravitate towards things that I like to do.

01:10:41.000 And people could say it's stereotypically toxic masculinity or whatever.

01:10:46.000 Well, okay.

01:10:46.000 Whatever.

01:10:47.000 I like it.

01:10:47.000 I'm nice.

01:10:48.000 I'm a nice person.

01:10:49.000 But I gravitate towards manly shit.

01:10:52.000 I like watching fights.

01:10:53.000 I like doing martial arts.

01:10:54.000 You like fighting, watching fights.

01:10:55.000 I like hunting.

01:10:56.000 I like cars.

01:10:57.000 I like these things.

01:10:58.000 I mean, what am I going to pretend that I don't like them to make other people feel happy?

01:11:02.000 Some people feel intimidated by that.

01:11:03.000 Like, oh, it's too manly.

01:11:04.000 That's the problem is you don't want to look like an asshole, which I've experienced.

01:11:08.000 I look like an asshole.

01:11:09.000 I look like an asshole just looking at me.

01:11:11.000 I look like an asshole to me.

01:11:13.000 I'm sure I look like an asshole to other people.

01:11:14.000 That's not true.

01:11:14.000 I don't think so.

01:11:15.000 I appreciate that.

01:11:16.000 You're a very open-minded guy.

01:11:17.000 This guy looks like a decent guy coming out of that fancy Tesla of his.

01:11:22.000 Actually, I would think you're an environmentalist.

01:11:24.000 Probably a douchebag.

01:11:25.000 Yeah, probably like super vegan-y.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, ugh, look at him.

01:11:28.000 Really annoying.

01:11:29.000 Right.

01:11:29.000 Yeah.

01:11:30.000 Doesn't want your kids to get vaccinated.

01:11:35.000 Yeah, doing the shit you want to do, that's definitely a big deal, man.

01:11:38.000 So I definitely respect that about you.

01:11:40.000 I think more people should do that.

01:11:42.000 I think one of the things that we have a problem with people doing what they want to do is because we don't get to do what we want to do.

01:11:48.000 So when we see other people, they're like, yeah, that's bullshit.

01:11:51.000 We get mad or we're like, he doesn't even really like that stuff.

01:11:54.000 Or he's, you know, oh yeah, you're just falling into the typical, stereotypical masculine behavior.

01:11:59.000 Maybe explore your sensitivity, man.

01:12:01.000 Why would people say that?

01:12:02.000 Because they're bitches.

01:12:03.000 People love telling you how to do shit.

01:12:04.000 I hate that.

01:12:04.000 It's usually men that are bitches.

01:12:06.000 There's a lot of those out there.

01:12:07.000 Funny how that works.

01:12:08.000 Do you have any names for me?

01:12:09.000 No, I'm just kidding.

01:12:10.000 I'll write them down.

01:12:11.000 I'll write them down.

01:12:12.000 So speaking of that, so interesting story for you.

01:12:15.000 So I was kind of talking back to your guy back and forth about being on the show.

01:12:20.000 And the craziest thing happened where I was out here to actually work on a Tesla-related project.

01:12:26.000 Oh.

01:12:27.000 And the top secret is going to come out in a couple months.

01:12:30.000 Yeah.

01:12:32.000 Basically, I was at my job, right?

01:12:34.000 And then I was like, hey, listen, I gotta take a week off to go out to California and work on this project.

01:12:39.000 And then I was talking to your guy, and they're like, hey, listen, if you're going to be out here, come back the next week as well.

01:12:44.000 You know, you could say, hey, listen, you have two weeks out here.

01:12:47.000 I told my boss, and he's like, listen, man, like, two weeks is kind of a long time.

01:12:52.000 We don't have any coverage.

01:12:53.000 Like, you know, I know you're going to be on Joe Rogan.

01:12:54.000 It's really cool, but I'm not sure if I can let you do that or not.

01:12:58.000 So I made a decision.

01:13:00.000 Following in your light, I said, you know what?

01:13:02.000 Then I'll leave my job then.

01:13:03.000 Oh, shit.

01:13:04.000 Yeah, I left my job, man.

01:13:06.000 Damn.

01:13:06.000 I left my job, which is why I'm here.

01:13:08.000 I need a job, Joe.

01:13:11.000 Just fucking with you.

01:13:11.000 Did you really leave your job?

01:13:12.000 I did, yeah.

01:13:13.000 Good for you.

01:13:14.000 It was a big thing because I had this whole meme thing going on my YouTube channel.

01:13:18.000 And I used to say, oh, I have a full-time job.

01:13:20.000 I can't work on these builds.

01:13:21.000 I can't do this.

01:13:22.000 I can't do that.

01:13:22.000 It was getting in the way.

01:13:24.000 And you have no idea.

01:13:26.000 I finally left.

01:13:27.000 And this is kind of...

01:13:28.000 I was reading...

01:13:30.000 I think?

01:13:47.000 You just don't really want to do.

01:13:49.000 It's most of your day.

01:13:50.000 Yeah.

01:13:51.000 It's most of your day.

01:13:52.000 So it's insane.

01:13:52.000 So I thought to myself, you know what?

01:13:53.000 Everyone's in the rat race.

01:13:55.000 Everyone's rushing to get somewhere.

01:13:57.000 You know about Boston.

01:13:59.000 You're rushing to get on the train.

01:14:00.000 You're rushing to get somewhere that you don't really want to be.

01:14:04.000 You're rushing there to work for eight hours for someone else doing something that you don't want to do.

01:14:09.000 And it just gets taxing, man.

01:14:11.000 It was just taxing.

01:14:13.000 And you're not going to do your best with the things you do afterwards.

01:14:16.000 If you've been doing this thing for eight hours, the four hours that you have before you really have to go to bed when you get home at night, you're not going to have the same kind of energy that you had at noon or at 10 a.m.

01:14:25.000 or whatever it was when you woke up or when you got to work.

01:14:28.000 What you're dealing with is this crossroads, right?

01:14:32.000 You've hit this path.

01:14:34.000 Where you can decide to either not take a chance and just slowly take little incremental steps towards what you really want to do or take a risk.

01:14:46.000 And when you take a risk, yeah, you don't have health insurance.

01:14:49.000 Yeah, you don't have dental.

01:14:50.000 That's what the risk is all about.

01:14:51.000 But that's the only way.

01:14:53.000 And people are like, yeah, but what if I fail?

01:14:55.000 But you can't think like that.

01:14:57.000 Because if you think like that, you're going to fail.

01:14:59.000 And second of all, yeah, you might.

01:15:01.000 But then you've got to do it again.

01:15:03.000 And if you continue to just fail and do it again, one day you'll figure out why you were failing, if you're paying attention, and if you're doing your work.

01:15:12.000 And then you'll find something that you can do that you're successful at.

01:15:14.000 If somebody wants to hire you, if you're good at your job, if you go to a place and you're valuable to that employer, you could be valuable to yourself.

01:15:22.000 You just got to figure out how to do it or what it is that you want to do that you could do without having a boss, something that feels natural, something that you gravitate towards.

01:15:33.000 When you get up in the morning and go, I'm fucking pumped.

01:15:35.000 I'm going to work for myself.

01:15:36.000 I want to do this.

01:15:37.000 And I'm going to do my thing.

01:15:39.000 Right.

01:15:39.000 There's not a time where I ever come here to do a podcast where I go, fuck, I can't believe I have to do this.

01:15:44.000 Right.

01:15:44.000 Not a time.

01:15:44.000 That makes me feel good.

01:15:45.000 Thank you.

01:15:45.000 Yeah.

01:15:46.000 Not today.

01:15:47.000 Not ever.

01:15:47.000 Never.

01:15:48.000 Never.

01:15:48.000 I mean, there's times where I leave and I was like, what the fuck was that about?

01:15:51.000 Yeah, I can imagine.

01:15:51.000 There's a couple.

01:15:52.000 Yeah.

01:15:53.000 In a thousand whatever podcasts I've done, there's only been like a small handful of those that have been like, what the fuck was that?

01:15:58.000 Right.

01:15:59.000 If you can do that, man, if you can find that thing that you love to do, whether it's making furniture or fucking painting or whatever it is, if you can make a living doing that, god damn!

01:16:10.000 That's everything.

01:16:11.000 It changes the world.

01:16:12.000 The world becomes a better place.

01:16:15.000 That's the goal, man.

01:16:16.000 So we'll see.

01:16:16.000 So, again, I took some cues from some inspiration from you when you left Boston.

01:16:21.000 You're like, you know what?

01:16:22.000 I'm going to do this comedy thing.

01:16:23.000 I want to figure it out.

01:16:24.000 So what was that like for you?

01:16:25.000 So when did you make the determination to say, hey, you know what?

01:16:28.000 I work at this gig.

01:16:29.000 You know, this isn't the thing that I want to do.

01:16:31.000 And you made the jump.

01:16:32.000 What was that like?

01:16:33.000 The Boston thing was super lucky.

01:16:35.000 I was only 25 or less.

01:16:38.000 24?

01:16:39.000 Damn.

01:16:40.000 Yeah, 24. And I was doing stand-up and I was driving limos during the day and doing a bunch of different odd jobs and shit.

01:16:48.000 And then I got seen by a manager who was coming from New York to Boston to scout for new talent.

01:16:55.000 I just got dumb luck.

01:16:57.000 I wasn't even supposed to be on the show.

01:16:59.000 And he asked me to go to New York and do some spots in New York.

01:17:03.000 I did some spots there.

01:17:04.000 And then, next thing you know, I was living in New York.

01:17:07.000 I signed a contract with him, and I just packed up my shit.

01:17:11.000 And my grandparents were still living in New Jersey.

01:17:13.000 They live on North 9th Street, which is like...

01:17:16.000 When the time, when they first moved there, it was a pretty nice neighborhood, middle class.

01:17:20.000 But then as Newark has got kind of funky...

01:17:22.000 It's like Skid Row now.

01:17:23.000 Yeah, it's not...

01:17:24.000 Well, it's just...

01:17:25.000 It was the next door neighbor while I was living with him.

01:17:29.000 They broke down his house door because he was selling crack.

01:17:31.000 He had a dope Audi parked in his driveway and they smashed his door with a battering ram.

01:17:36.000 It was a legit sketchy neighborhood.

01:17:41.000 That's what I did.

01:17:42.000 I just packed up my shit and moved.

01:17:43.000 I didn't have any money.

01:17:45.000 I didn't know if it was going to work out at all, but I knew this was a chance.

01:17:49.000 But I was young.

01:17:50.000 When you're 24, you're like, whatever.

01:17:52.000 Health insurance, whatever.

01:17:53.000 I didn't have health insurance for a long time.

01:17:55.000 Do you have it now?

01:17:56.000 Yeah.

01:17:56.000 Okay, good.

01:17:56.000 That's good.

01:17:57.000 You got it?

01:17:59.000 When you quit this job, do you have it?

01:18:00.000 My wife has it.

01:18:01.000 Okay.

01:18:02.000 Well, there you go.

01:18:02.000 So that was a scary thing.

01:18:03.000 I was just like, shit, hey, listen.

01:18:04.000 What did she say?

01:18:06.000 She's like, go for it.

01:18:07.000 Ooh, I like it.

01:18:08.000 Good.

01:18:08.000 You got a good one.

01:18:09.000 Yeah, go for it.

01:18:10.000 She's like, yeah, go for it.

01:18:11.000 Because the tough thing is that it's, you know, I have my little shitty YouTube channel.

01:18:17.000 Yeah, but your YouTube channel is pretty big.

01:18:19.000 You're saying it's a shitty YouTube channel, but you've got a lot of views.

01:18:21.000 You know what's funny?

01:18:22.000 I say that, but it's hard because I don't want to be...

01:18:24.000 You want to be a dick.

01:18:25.000 I don't want to be a dick.

01:18:26.000 Yeah.

01:18:26.000 But I have this massive following.

01:18:28.000 Well, how many subscribers do you have?

01:18:29.000 I think 400. That's pretty goddamn good.

01:18:31.000 50,000 or something like that.

01:18:32.000 That's pretty goddamn good.

01:18:33.000 Yeah, it's not bad.

01:18:34.000 That's pretty goddamn good.

01:18:35.000 For a guy who fixes cars, rebuilds Teslas and shit.

01:18:38.000 Yeah, it's not bad, right?

01:18:40.000 And to think that I've amassed that kind of falling, only fixing really one car.

01:18:44.000 Right.

01:18:44.000 Now, imagine if you put all your time into that.

01:18:48.000 Bingo.

01:18:48.000 I'm hoping for.

01:18:49.000 And after this show.

01:18:50.000 I'm hoping for.

01:18:51.000 What's it called on YouTube?

01:18:52.000 Rich Rebuilds.

01:18:53.000 Oh, shit.

01:18:53.000 Rich Rebuilds.

01:18:54.000 Subscribe.

01:18:54.000 See that little subscribe button?

01:18:55.000 Subscribe, yeah.

01:18:56.000 Put that.

01:18:56.000 Oh, there you go.

01:18:57.000 And it's great.

01:18:58.000 Your videos are really cool.

01:19:00.000 Oh, look, you're subscribing.

01:19:01.000 You subscribe?

01:19:01.000 Oh, look at the subscribe right now.

01:19:02.000 Awesome.

01:19:03.000 That's a perfect shot of me, by the way.

01:19:05.000 The frozen photo.

01:19:08.000 But your videos are excellent.

01:19:10.000 Thank you.

01:19:10.000 You're really good at it, and you're really good at explaining things, and you have a good sense of humor when you're doing it, and it's interesting.

01:19:15.000 Yeah.

01:19:15.000 Thank you.

01:19:15.000 It's interesting stuff.

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:17.000 I try to be – it's funny because there's – I'm not a super genius.

01:19:20.000 There's other people building Teslas left and right.

01:19:23.000 Are there?

01:19:23.000 Yeah.

01:19:23.000 Is there a lot of other people that are getting involved in this?

01:19:25.000 Well, yeah.

01:19:25.000 Now there is.

01:19:25.000 They're getting more involved in it, and they're starting their own little channels and stuff.

01:19:28.000 But my thing is I want to be a little bit different.

01:19:30.000 I want to add some kind of humor and comedy to it to make it interesting.

01:19:34.000 Because quite frankly, not everyone thinks building a Tesla is really that funny or interesting or fun.

01:19:39.000 So adding a humorous spin to it makes it more interesting.

01:19:41.000 Yeah.

01:19:41.000 No, you're great at it.

01:19:42.000 And when you look at any other kind of car, like if you buy a Chevy or if you buy even a Porsche or something like that, you can find these little mom-and-pop fix-it shops.

01:19:53.000 You can find them all over the place.

01:19:54.000 Absolutely.

01:19:55.000 All around, you know, you go to West Hills.

01:19:57.000 There's a bunch of places that fix cars.

01:19:59.000 Right.

01:20:00.000 Exactly.

01:20:00.000 Hey, there's something wrong with my transmission.

01:20:01.000 Can you look at it?

01:20:02.000 No problem.

01:20:03.000 They put it on a lift.

01:20:04.000 They go, oh, you got a leak here.

01:20:05.000 You got this.

01:20:05.000 You got that.

01:20:06.000 With a Tesla, you're on your own, son.

01:20:08.000 That's what I'm saying, man.

01:20:08.000 You either bring it to Tesla.

01:20:09.000 I know, man.

01:20:10.000 Or nada.

01:20:11.000 And I get it from their point of view.

01:20:12.000 They don't want a bunch of people monkeying around with their shit.

01:20:15.000 Yeah.

01:20:15.000 But even like Mac...

01:20:18.000 Like, you can go to the Genius Store, which is gross.

01:20:22.000 The Genius Bar, yeah.

01:20:22.000 Whatever the fuck that name is.

01:20:23.000 That's gross.

01:20:24.000 Genius Bar, yeah.

01:20:25.000 Genius Bar.

01:20:25.000 Let me see your IQ test.

01:20:28.000 That's a bit pompous.

01:20:28.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:20:29.000 I met some of them people that are not geniuses.

01:20:31.000 I'm smarter than you.

01:20:32.000 Whatever.

01:20:33.000 So, you can either go there, or you can go to these little mom and pop Mac stores.

01:20:37.000 Those do exist.

01:20:39.000 Exactly.

01:20:39.000 And they're not approved, but they can fix your computer.

01:20:42.000 They get shit done.

01:20:43.000 Yeah.

01:20:43.000 Yeah, they get shit done.

01:20:44.000 So that's the goal for me.

01:20:45.000 So, you know, I'm starting my own shop.

01:20:47.000 I'm starting a shop called the Electrified Garage.

01:20:49.000 Ooh, I like it.

01:20:50.000 Not bad, huh?

01:20:51.000 That's a good name.

01:20:51.000 I got some swag for you, too.

01:20:53.000 And that's the biggest thing, is because there's no mom-and-pop shop to fix Teslas.

01:20:58.000 Right.

01:20:58.000 Like, right now, it's the only game in town.

01:20:59.000 They're pumping out...

01:21:01.000 What, like 5,000 cars a week now?

01:21:03.000 Like 5,000 a week, right?

01:21:04.000 Which doesn't seem like much, but for a small company, it's insane.

01:21:07.000 That's a lot.

01:21:07.000 How many is that a day?

01:21:08.000 It's 30 days.

01:21:10.000 It's a lot.

01:21:11.000 It's like, what, 20,000 a month?

01:21:12.000 No, no, 5,000 a week.

01:21:14.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:15.000 It's like 20,000 a month or so.

01:21:16.000 Jesus.

01:21:17.000 How about that?

01:21:19.000 20,000 cars is a lot.

01:21:21.000 That's a lot of cars, right?

01:21:23.000 That's a lot of freaking cars.

01:21:24.000 Yeah, I think they're too busy.

01:21:25.000 So right now, you know, there's only two places to fix Tesla's in my state.

01:21:29.000 So when someone's like, hey, I want to get my car fixed, you call Tesla, they're like, yeah, it'll be about, you know, maybe a week.

01:21:34.000 I'll get you in like maybe two weeks.

01:21:35.000 Oh, you get you in in a week?

01:21:36.000 Yeah, get you in a week, maybe two weeks.

01:21:38.000 And then they got to order the parts.

01:21:39.000 Sometimes three weeks, sometimes a month.

01:21:40.000 Yeah, people wait months, man.

01:21:42.000 So that's the goal.

01:21:43.000 So I'm opening it up and it should be open probably another month or so.

01:21:46.000 And then we'll drive people there.

01:21:47.000 I have a fantasy of one day building a car.

01:21:50.000 What do you want to build?

01:21:50.000 A 69 Camaro.

01:21:52.000 I thought you had one.

01:21:53.000 No, I don't.

01:21:54.000 For some reason, but you have a whole bunch of cars.

01:21:55.000 I lose track sometimes.

01:21:56.000 I have a 65 Corvette, but I just...

01:21:59.000 Oh, no, you had a Barracuda.

01:22:00.000 Yeah, a 70 Barracuda.

01:22:02.000 Yeah.

01:22:02.000 Yeah, I got rid of that.

01:22:03.000 Why?

01:22:04.000 It had problems.

01:22:05.000 Okay.

01:22:05.000 Yeah, I had all the problems fixed, but it was more designed to look really good.

01:22:09.000 It looked really good.

01:22:11.000 It was a beautiful car.

01:22:12.000 But it wasn't my style.

01:22:14.000 I like a car like that little Corvette.

01:22:16.000 That thing drives like a modern car.

01:22:19.000 If you drive that thing, it handles.

01:22:21.000 It's got fuel injection.

01:22:23.000 It's a Georgia car.

01:22:24.000 Thank you.

01:22:25.000 But it feels like...

01:22:26.000 It feels like a car that is not dangerous.

01:22:29.000 Right.

01:22:29.000 That Barracuda is like, anytime you want, and you stomp the gas, if you're taking a turn, the ass end would go totally sideways.

01:22:34.000 Which is kind of fun.

01:22:35.000 Yeah, a little bit.

01:22:36.000 Yeah.

01:22:37.000 But it's so front heavy, like it had a giant ass engine, and it was a beautiful, beautiful car.

01:22:44.000 It also wasn't a stick shift, and that annoyed the fuck out of me.

01:22:46.000 Oh, it was automatic?

01:22:47.000 Yeah, it was automatic.

01:22:48.000 Sorry to hear that.

01:22:49.000 I know, it was ew.

01:22:50.000 But what was my point?

01:22:53.000 I forget.

01:22:54.000 Oh, that I have a fantasy of building a car to spend the time and actually put it together.

01:23:00.000 Because I would imagine that the way you feel when you drive that Tesla is like this crazy feeling of satisfaction.

01:23:05.000 You made that thing.

01:23:07.000 Much like the way you feel if you hunt and you eat the steak from an animal that you shot yourself.

01:23:13.000 You're driving that car around.

01:23:14.000 You built that fucking thing.

01:23:16.000 It's all about the hunt.

01:23:17.000 Part of it's the hunt and the chase, though.

01:23:19.000 Because now that the car's built, I'm kind of like, alright, now what?

01:23:22.000 Right.

01:23:23.000 You know what I mean?

01:23:23.000 Like, after you hunt, after you, you know, you take that kill shot, you want to do it again.

01:23:28.000 Yeah.

01:23:28.000 Or you want to hit something different.

01:23:29.000 Right.

01:23:30.000 You want to kill an elephant next time when I'm an elephant.

01:23:31.000 But, like, you know, definitely not an elephant.

01:23:32.000 I like elephants.

01:23:33.000 I'm sorry.

01:23:33.000 Sorry about that.

01:23:35.000 That's one I don't get.

01:23:36.000 That one, I don't...

01:23:38.000 What do you even do?

01:23:39.000 People kill elephants.

01:23:39.000 What do you do with that?

01:23:40.000 They eat them.

01:23:41.000 They eat them.

01:23:41.000 What?

01:23:41.000 Yeah.

01:23:42.000 Well, the thing is, when they do kill them and the villagers get to eat the food, they get very excited about it.

01:23:47.000 Yeah.

01:23:48.000 Apparently elephants are delicious.

01:23:50.000 That's a lot of meat, man.

01:23:51.000 It's so much meat.

01:23:52.000 But that's the thing.

01:23:54.000 It's one thing that we don't want to ever think about when it comes to conservation, these animals.

01:24:00.000 But the money that a hunter would spend...

01:24:04.000 To kill an elephant goes towards making sure that the elephant population is healthy and pays for all these game wardens, or what they call PHs in Africa.

01:24:14.000 And then the money also goes to some of these villages, and then the food, the meat from the animal, goes to these villages.

01:24:21.000 But still, you're shooting a fucking elephant.

01:24:24.000 Yeah, I feel bad.

01:24:25.000 It's weird how you feel bad for killing an elephant, but other animals...

01:24:29.000 Like a rat.

01:24:30.000 Yeah, rackets hit by a car, you cheer.

01:24:32.000 You're like, yay!

01:24:33.000 You fucking loser.

01:24:33.000 Because I hit it myself, right.

01:24:35.000 Yeah, we're totally biased towards certain types of animals, for sure.

01:24:41.000 It's like why we, how do they say it, why we feed pigeons, but we shoot bald eagles.

01:24:46.000 It's majestic.

01:24:47.000 I know you want it.

01:24:48.000 Do you see that beluga whale that they caught that had a net?

01:24:52.000 It had a harness on it and they think that the Russians were using it.

01:24:55.000 Like, riding it?

01:24:55.000 No, they think they were using it as a bioweapon.

01:24:58.000 Like, they would strap a missile to this thing and then tell the whale to go to boats.

01:25:03.000 How do you tell a whale to go to a boat?

01:25:05.000 This whale was trained to go towards boats.

01:25:07.000 And it had this harness on it.

01:25:09.000 And they think that what they did was they trained this thing to go towards boats.

01:25:15.000 Choking the shit out of that thing.

01:25:16.000 Well, you could use something like that to hold a bomb.

01:25:20.000 So you would train it to go towards the boat, and then when it would hit the boat, it would detonate the bomb and explode.

01:25:26.000 So they must have given this whale some sort of food reward for banging into the boat.

01:25:32.000 Holy shit, that's sad, man.

01:25:34.000 Yeah, so they cut it free of this harness.

01:25:37.000 I mean, this is total speculation.

01:25:38.000 They don't know where the harness came from, but...

01:25:41.000 I'm hoping someone was trying to ride it and they weren't...

01:25:43.000 It's probably a bomb, though.

01:25:44.000 I'm pretty sure...

01:25:45.000 They're pretty sure it's a bomb.

01:25:46.000 I'm pretty sure...

01:25:47.000 Look at this.

01:25:48.000 Whale found off Norway coast believed to be spying from Russia.

01:25:50.000 Oh, maybe it had a bunch of cameras and stuff, too?

01:25:52.000 But that might just be click-baity bullshit, too, right?

01:25:54.000 Who wrote this article?

01:25:55.000 Are they an expert?

01:25:56.000 Are they a security expert?

01:25:57.000 Yeah.

01:25:57.000 Do they just have a whale with a harness?

01:25:59.000 Right.

01:25:59.000 We don't really know what the fuck's going on.

01:26:00.000 Like, how often do whales and harnesses show up, the fact that you're an expert and can speak intelligently about it?

01:26:04.000 I think that the U.S. government read equipment of St. Petersburg on the strap.

01:26:11.000 Oh, shit.

01:26:12.000 Oh, it's not good.

01:26:12.000 Yeah, but if I wanted to trick people into thinking that the Russians were involved...

01:26:15.000 I would make it super obvious.

01:26:17.000 I'd write that too.

01:26:17.000 Yeah, why would they write that?

01:26:18.000 So you've got to fake train a whale and then send it over and be like, look what they're doing.

01:26:23.000 Bro, you've got to look into it.

01:26:24.000 Exactly.

01:26:24.000 Made in Russia by Russia.

01:26:26.000 Exactly.

01:26:27.000 Yeah.

01:26:27.000 I would write Made in Russia on it.

01:26:29.000 It was all in English too.

01:26:30.000 Yeah.

01:26:30.000 We didn't even use Russian letters.

01:26:32.000 Property of Mother Russia.

01:26:33.000 Love Russia.

01:26:34.000 I think the government did that with dolphins.

01:26:37.000 See if that's true.

01:26:38.000 The government trained dolphins for weapons.

01:26:41.000 20 of them, something like that?

01:26:42.000 Yeah.

01:26:42.000 I think the U.S. government did that.

01:26:44.000 They trained dolphins to blow up boats.

01:26:48.000 Damn, dude.

01:26:49.000 What a place we live in, man.

01:26:50.000 What a place we live in, man.

01:26:51.000 We basically trained dolphins to be jihadists, but they didn't know it.

01:26:55.000 They didn't know they were jihadists.

01:26:56.000 At least the jihadist knows.

01:26:58.000 Right.

01:26:58.000 I mean, you tricked them into going for 72 virgins and blowing up.

01:27:02.000 You tricked them.

01:27:03.000 Oh, God.

01:27:03.000 But the dolphin doesn't even know it's going to die.

01:27:05.000 Yeah, right.

01:27:06.000 They probably would be like, what?

01:27:07.000 Wait a minute.

01:27:07.000 What?

01:27:08.000 I get fish?

01:27:08.000 I love fish.

01:27:09.000 He just thinks he's going to get fish if he bumps into the boat.

01:27:11.000 What's this thing on my back?

01:27:12.000 Ah, whatever.

01:27:12.000 I'll do it.

01:27:13.000 Oh, my God.

01:27:13.000 Yeah.

01:27:14.000 That's it.

01:27:14.000 Poor things, man.

01:27:15.000 I never see it coming.

01:27:16.000 Yeah.

01:27:17.000 This says it's a myth.

01:27:19.000 Oh, it's a myth.

01:27:19.000 What's a myth?

01:27:20.000 Well, that wouldn't be the first time.

01:27:21.000 The Navy trained 36 dolphins.

01:27:22.000 Disinformation.

01:27:23.000 Yeah, well, who says that?

01:27:24.000 The Navy?

01:27:25.000 Those stories are coming from like 2005. Is that true?

01:27:29.000 Is that true?

01:27:30.000 Who wrote that?

01:27:31.000 But then in 2015, it says that the U.S. Navy's combat dolphins are serious military assets.

01:27:36.000 So maybe they just started it, stopped it, and started it back up.

01:27:39.000 They did it.

01:27:39.000 I don't get it, though.

01:27:40.000 So here's the thing.

01:27:41.000 Why are they sending dolphins?

01:27:42.000 Why don't they just build robots to do it?

01:27:44.000 Because the robots aren't as advanced.

01:27:47.000 As a wild dolphin?

01:27:48.000 They can't go through the water the way a dolphin can.

01:27:51.000 And it would look like a robot.

01:27:52.000 A dolphin, they're not going to do shit.

01:27:54.000 They're always in the water.

01:27:55.000 So if you can get something that's an organic part of the environment, and they're not going to kill every dolphin that comes near the boat.

01:28:01.000 So they see a dolphin, they think it's just a dolphin.

01:28:03.000 And then it...

01:28:04.000 Why don't they have a missile painted like a dolphin?

01:28:07.000 By the time they get it, it's like, oh shit.

01:28:09.000 Because it would be going too fast.

01:28:10.000 Ukrainian killer dolphins escape naval training base in search of love.

01:28:14.000 Yeah, this doesn't seem like it's accurate for some reason.

01:28:16.000 I don't know why.

01:28:17.000 They escaped during Hurricane Katrina.

01:28:19.000 They've escaped multiple times.

01:28:20.000 I don't know if we're just training more.

01:28:23.000 These dolphins keep escaping everything.

01:28:24.000 Wait, are dolphins smarter than us?

01:28:27.000 They keep escaping.

01:28:28.000 They're super smart.

01:28:29.000 How do we not keep a hold of these dolphins?

01:28:30.000 Not on the loose.

01:28:31.000 I don't know.

01:28:32.000 It's very confusing when you look it up.

01:28:33.000 Ukrainian military dolphins not actually on the loose.

01:28:36.000 Who says that?

01:28:37.000 The Atlantic.

01:28:38.000 That's government.

01:28:38.000 G.gov.

01:28:41.000 Hey, you know what?

01:28:41.000 Speaking of dolphins, my fun dolphin fact is that dolphins are one of the few animals that have sex for pleasure.

01:28:46.000 Yeah.

01:28:46.000 One of the few.

01:28:47.000 Chimps, dolphins, people.

01:28:49.000 Yep.

01:28:49.000 And dogs.

01:28:51.000 Well, dogs are trying to breed.

01:28:52.000 That's for fun?

01:28:53.000 No, I guess.

01:28:54.000 Well, they fuck your leg.

01:28:55.000 What are they trying to do?

01:28:55.000 I guess you're right.

01:28:56.000 That sounds...

01:28:59.000 What are they trying to prove?

01:29:00.000 That's a good point.

01:29:00.000 What are they trying to prove?

01:29:02.000 Alright, let me ask you this because you're all into technology.

01:29:04.000 Go ahead.

01:29:04.000 What do you think about aliens?

01:29:06.000 God, this doesn't seem tech-related at all.

01:29:08.000 Yeah.

01:29:09.000 Do they think they exist?

01:29:10.000 Do you think they've ever visited here?

01:29:12.000 Oh, God.

01:29:14.000 No.

01:29:15.000 No.

01:29:15.000 I don't think so.

01:29:16.000 I think they would have destroyed us.

01:29:17.000 Really?

01:29:18.000 Yeah.

01:29:18.000 But when we visit primitive tribes, we don't destroy them necessarily.

01:29:22.000 Like, we try to leave them alone.

01:29:24.000 Do we try?

01:29:25.000 But we end up destroying them one way or the other anyways.

01:29:26.000 Well, there's a few.

01:29:28.000 Some people do, for sure.

01:29:29.000 Even when we try to be nice, it's like, yeah.

01:29:31.000 Look at that tribe.

01:29:32.000 Let's analyze them.

01:29:33.000 It's like a few photos.

01:29:35.000 Let's give them food.

01:29:36.000 And then they die, pretty much.

01:29:37.000 Yeah, there's always that image, a famous image of these tribespeople in Brazil, an uncontacted tribe, and they're painted, they're body paint, and then they have arrows drawn at the helicopter.

01:29:48.000 Exactly.

01:29:48.000 Yeah.

01:29:49.000 Yeah, now they know about helicopters.

01:29:51.000 Slowly but surely they're going to freak out.

01:29:52.000 Now it's the new sun god.

01:29:53.000 Yeah.

01:29:54.000 Now they worship a new religion.

01:29:55.000 See?

01:29:56.000 Think about it.

01:29:56.000 Can you imagine if you were an uncontacted tribe and all of a sudden a fucking helicopter shows up?

01:30:00.000 Whenever I see a helicopter show up, I freak out in general.

01:30:03.000 Yeah, in general.

01:30:04.000 You know what I mean?

01:30:05.000 So, like, imagine a...

01:30:05.000 That's insane.

01:30:06.000 Have you ever been in one helicopter?

01:30:08.000 Yes.

01:30:08.000 So weird, right?

01:30:09.000 Right, it's weird.

01:30:10.000 Like...

01:30:11.000 Just flying around like, okay, we're in the sky.

01:30:13.000 The way it makes noise, absolutely.

01:30:14.000 But no, I think...

01:30:15.000 I don't know, man.

01:30:17.000 I think they would have destroyed us.

01:30:19.000 They'd be like, these guys are stupid.

01:30:20.000 Don't you think they would want to watch...

01:30:23.000 Like, if you go to the zoo, right?

01:30:24.000 You go to the chimpanzee exhibit and you watch them swing around and shit.

01:30:28.000 People love to watch the chimps.

01:30:29.000 It's probably one of the most popular parts of the exhibit.

01:30:32.000 Right.

01:30:33.000 And we love watching them.

01:30:34.000 Like, oh, look at them, look at them.

01:30:35.000 And if you could go someplace where you could watch them in the wild.

01:30:38.000 Yeah.

01:30:38.000 Like, if there was, like, a webcam where you could tune in to the Congo right now.

01:30:42.000 Right.

01:30:42.000 I would definitely do it.

01:30:44.000 How do we know they're not watching us right now, though?

01:30:45.000 Exactly.

01:30:46.000 That's the thing.

01:30:47.000 They probably are.

01:30:48.000 But wouldn't they just, like, watch...

01:30:55.000 I mean, I would imagine that if there was a civilization that's on the cusp of some major breakthrough as far as artificial intelligence goes, which is where we are.

01:31:04.000 In many ways, I think that we're all super fortunate to be alive right now.

01:31:09.000 Absolutely.

01:31:09.000 Because even though this is a time of incredible turmoil, it's also a time of amazing potential and change.

01:31:16.000 I'm greedy as hell though.

01:31:17.000 I want to see more.

01:31:18.000 I know.

01:31:18.000 Me too.

01:31:18.000 I want to see more.

01:31:19.000 Me too.

01:31:20.000 I really want to see a robot uprising.

01:31:22.000 I'm dead serious about that.

01:31:23.000 Don't.

01:31:24.000 Don't ask for that.

01:31:24.000 I do.

01:31:24.000 I really do.

01:31:25.000 And I want to be like 90-ish years old.

01:31:28.000 And I want there to be this super advanced AI robot just to take over and start shooting shit.

01:31:34.000 And I also want...

01:31:35.000 Because Elon Musk, he'll still be alive.

01:31:37.000 His head will be in a jar.

01:31:38.000 And he'll be like, I told you so!

01:31:40.000 I told you there's a robot hand!

01:31:42.000 I told you!

01:31:43.000 That's what I want to see because it's like Terminator shit.

01:31:46.000 I don't want to see that at all.

01:31:48.000 I want to see the aliens come in and stop us right when we're about to hit the green switch to turn on artificial intelligence.

01:31:55.000 I want the aliens to come down with their little legs and go, hey, hey, hey.

01:31:58.000 No, no, no, no.

01:32:00.000 They wouldn't listen to us.

01:32:01.000 The robot gave this guy a soda.

01:32:02.000 Boston Dynamic, yeah.

01:32:03.000 It's wrestling with him.

01:32:04.000 Right.

01:32:05.000 Yeah, it's going to grab your dick like that.

01:32:07.000 I might like it.

01:32:08.000 You're going to be beaten off.

01:32:09.000 That thing's going to come in.

01:32:10.000 Let me help you.

01:32:11.000 But the thing is, what's stopping that from not wrapping around his neck and just crushing it?

01:32:15.000 There's nothing stopping it.

01:32:16.000 If you get hacked, think about the same people that helped you make your Tesla work.

01:32:20.000 They're going to hack into this fucking thing.

01:32:22.000 It's going to run right through your walls.

01:32:23.000 It's like Skynet.

01:32:23.000 It's going to eat your dog.

01:32:25.000 Have you seen the ones that flip?

01:32:26.000 They have them on trapezes like Cirque du Soleil.

01:32:29.000 Actually, have you seen the part where they actually beat the robots?

01:32:31.000 Yes.

01:32:32.000 You know what my favorite part of that is?

01:32:33.000 What?

01:32:34.000 Well, they beat the robots to find out if the robots fall over.

01:32:37.000 They kick them and shit.

01:32:39.000 PETA released a statement saying it's not cool to kick robots.

01:32:43.000 Shut up, PETA. What are you getting involved in everything for?

01:32:46.000 You know what I mean?

01:32:47.000 It's not cool.

01:32:48.000 Wait, how about a robot coalition?

01:32:51.000 Should it be a robot coalition?

01:32:52.000 We stand with robots to say, listen, we built these things, but we can't hit them like that.

01:32:57.000 Let me ask you this.

01:32:58.000 Here's the real question.

01:32:59.000 If you're 90 years old, and you're still lucid, but your body's failing, your knees are gone, and your hips bad, and your back hurts all the time, and your shoulders are all torn apart, you can't pick things up, and they say, Rich, we can download your consciousness.

01:33:16.000 Oh God, not this.

01:33:17.000 Into this artificial body that's like you if you were Anderson Silva when he was 30 years old.

01:33:24.000 That's like Black Mirror shit.

01:33:25.000 Yeah.

01:33:26.000 They give you the super powerful body.

01:33:29.000 You're going to feel it just like that, but now you're going to be like a super elite athlete.

01:33:34.000 And it's going to be you.

01:33:36.000 Or you can just go to black and see what happens in the afterlife.

01:33:40.000 Or you can just let this 90-year-old body die.

01:33:42.000 This is the silliest question ever.

01:33:44.000 Of course I would take it.

01:33:45.000 Of course.

01:33:46.000 Bird in the hand, right?

01:33:47.000 Right.

01:33:47.000 Yeah.

01:33:47.000 This afterlife might be bullshit.

01:33:49.000 Right.

01:33:49.000 I can enjoy myself right now.

01:33:50.000 Wouldn't you do that?

01:33:51.000 Fuck yeah.

01:33:52.000 Yeah.

01:33:53.000 Fuck yeah.

01:33:53.000 I actually want to do it right now.

01:33:54.000 I'm not even 90. I think that's how they're going to get us.

01:33:56.000 I think slowly but surely they're going to replace parts.

01:33:59.000 There's already amazing artificial hands that they're creating and limbs that are articulating limbs.

01:34:07.000 Here's the thing.

01:34:07.000 Would you want one of the limbs that looks like a human limb or would you want a robotic limb like in Terminator?

01:34:12.000 Yeah.

01:34:12.000 I'd want a Terminator limb for sure.

01:34:13.000 Would you for sure?

01:34:14.000 I want everyone to stare at me.

01:34:15.000 But what if it was nice and soft?

01:34:17.000 Do you think we're close to RoboCop then?

01:34:19.000 Would that be maybe the first step?

01:34:22.000 Yeah, that's probably right.

01:34:23.000 They're probably going to do that with soldiers and shit.

01:34:25.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:34:25.000 All the money's in the military.

01:34:26.000 Yeah.

01:34:28.000 Exoskeletons.

01:34:28.000 They'll drop 10 billion on that.

01:34:29.000 I met one of those robots.

01:34:31.000 I saw one of those at Pechanga Casino.

01:34:32.000 At the mall.

01:34:33.000 It's the most ridiculous thing ever.

01:34:34.000 Real weird.

01:34:34.000 I'll fuck that thing up.

01:34:35.000 You know, the one in the middle...

01:34:37.000 The one in the middle, I put my hat on it and it started freaking out.

01:34:42.000 Did it get mad at you?

01:34:43.000 Yeah, it just started spinning around in circles.

01:34:45.000 I wish it had a gun on it.

01:34:48.000 Oh no.

01:34:49.000 Then people would take it seriously.

01:34:50.000 Well, that's the worry about those dog things, those dog-like robots that they just put guns on those motherfuckers.

01:34:55.000 That is an episode of Black Mirror.

01:34:56.000 Remember that episode?

01:34:57.000 No, I didn't see that one.

01:34:58.000 Yeah, it's called Heavy Metal.

01:34:59.000 Really?

01:34:59.000 It's one of the best episodes.

01:35:01.000 Spoiler alert, this lady's running from these robots.

01:35:04.000 They have dogs on them?

01:35:05.000 It looks like a dog.

01:35:06.000 It looks like one of those things.

01:35:07.000 I've got to check that one out.

01:35:08.000 Yeah, and it has potential, like, actual real technology that it's using.

01:35:14.000 So, like, it's not outlandish.

01:35:15.000 Yeah, the thing is about Black Mirror, everything is, like, that could happen.

01:35:19.000 That could actually happen.

01:35:20.000 Yeah, even the whole thing where they implant memories and you live this crazy fake life, that's on the horizon.

01:35:26.000 So you know the interesting part about Black Mirror is that there's a pro and a con to everything.

01:35:30.000 So there was an episode where a woman wanted to keep better track of her daughter.

01:35:34.000 So she implanted that ship so she could see whatever her daughter sees.

01:35:39.000 Then her daughter got older and older and she started to see some wild shit that the kid was doing.

01:35:44.000 But then...

01:35:45.000 To your example, what would be the downside of putting my consciousness in someone with a jacked and ripped body?

01:35:53.000 Well, the downside would be, would you even really be a human anymore, or would you be some sort of a thing that we've created that keeps your brain alive?

01:36:02.000 Right.

01:36:02.000 But who cares?

01:36:04.000 Who does care?

01:36:05.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:36:06.000 Would you want to live a whole other life?

01:36:09.000 Like, how much time do you want in this fake body?

01:36:11.000 Do you want to be immortal?

01:36:13.000 Do you want to keep going forever?

01:36:13.000 Not forever, no.

01:36:15.000 At 200 years.

01:36:17.000 You know, there's an old story about that, about a guy, goddammit, it's like an old legend, about a man who kept killing his sons in order to live longer.

01:36:28.000 Yeah.

01:36:29.000 Like, that God came to him and told him if you kill his son, and he lived to be like thousands of years old, but he just had no one around him that cared about him and loved him.

01:36:35.000 Isn't that the story of Job in the Bible or something like that?

01:36:37.000 Ah, whatever, keep going.

01:36:37.000 Since from something.

01:36:38.000 Yeah.

01:36:39.000 I don't remember.

01:36:40.000 But the point is, like, when you got to 200 years, if you said, okay, I'm going to take this body and I'm going to live in it for 200 years, but in 200 years, I'll be done, that's it.

01:36:48.000 Right.

01:36:49.000 198 years comes along and you're still like a 30-year-old Anderson Silva.

01:36:53.000 I couldn't do it.

01:36:54.000 You're having a great time.

01:36:55.000 Right, that's a good point.

01:36:56.000 But you might be like super wise.

01:36:58.000 That's the other thing.

01:36:58.000 If you think of how smart a person is, they keep their shit together and they become like a mature older man who's just wise and understands the way the world works.

01:37:07.000 Right.

01:37:07.000 Someone who's well-read and really has taken the time to do the work on themselves personally.

01:37:12.000 They know themselves better than they did when they were a young foolish man.

01:37:15.000 Right.

01:37:16.000 Hopefully most of us as we get older.

01:37:18.000 But what if you could live the 300 years?

01:37:19.000 How wise would you be then?

01:37:21.000 My biggest concern isn't necessarily about being wise.

01:37:23.000 I think it's about my loved ones.

01:37:26.000 Right.

01:37:27.000 You know what I mean?

01:37:27.000 Because you see a lot.

01:37:28.000 In 300 years, you see a lot of shit.

01:37:30.000 Right.

01:37:30.000 That's like three wives.

01:37:31.000 Actually, maybe four or six.

01:37:33.000 Who knows?

01:37:34.000 Right.

01:37:34.000 But as they pass, you have your kids, and your kid will live to be 80 years old, and you're just like, hey, you know.

01:37:40.000 You got to get your kid a new body.

01:37:41.000 Yeah.

01:37:42.000 Yeah.

01:37:43.000 I don't want to go on forever, though, because I feel like, what's the world going to look like in 300 years?

01:37:47.000 Maybe it'd be dope.

01:37:48.000 Maybe it would be the shit.

01:37:49.000 Maybe it would be.

01:37:50.000 Maybe it would.

01:37:51.000 You know what I want to say?

01:37:52.000 You know, the most fascinating thing I keep thinking about is us going to Mars.

01:37:55.000 I know Elon Musk really wants that.

01:37:57.000 Do you want to go?

01:37:57.000 Would you go?

01:37:58.000 Nope.

01:37:58.000 Why?

01:37:59.000 Not interested.

01:38:00.000 It's a one-way trip, I know.

01:38:00.000 Look, I don't want to go to Antarctica.

01:38:02.000 Really?

01:38:02.000 Where the fuck would I want to go to Mars?

01:38:03.000 I don't want to go anywhere where people can't live.

01:38:05.000 We go to Utah in the woods and shoot deers and stuff.

01:38:08.000 People live there.

01:38:08.000 Really?

01:38:09.000 It's beautiful.

01:38:09.000 There's streams and trees.

01:38:10.000 It's gorgeous.

01:38:11.000 But you were just saying that you don't like when people come up to you at a restaurant and harass you.

01:38:14.000 So, like, you living alone is another thing.

01:38:16.000 I like being around people, though.

01:38:17.000 That's why I go to a restaurant.

01:38:19.000 I'm not, like, in a cave somewhere trying to eat.

01:38:22.000 You know what I mean?

01:38:22.000 I mean, there's nothing wrong.

01:38:24.000 I feel like you would want to do that.

01:38:25.000 I feel like with all this manly shit that you do, like, men want to just go and just, like, light fires and caves and shit and just, like, beat up animals.

01:38:33.000 Dude, going to Mars is stupid.

01:38:34.000 You can't come back.

01:38:35.000 That's like going to the shittiest neighborhood in the known universe you can get to on a one-way ticket.

01:38:40.000 But guess what?

01:38:40.000 Your name will live forever.

01:38:42.000 We'll live on it.

01:38:43.000 Well, that doesn't mean shit, I guess.

01:38:44.000 What?

01:38:44.000 Assholes.

01:38:44.000 No one cares.

01:38:45.000 You know who else's name lives forever?

01:38:46.000 Hitler.

01:38:48.000 He'll give some fuck.

01:38:49.000 That's a good point.

01:38:50.000 What are these?

01:38:50.000 Is this Elon Musk's space station on Mars?

01:38:52.000 Bro, that neighborhood sucks.

01:38:54.000 Yeah.

01:38:54.000 That's like living in Barstow for the rest of your life.

01:38:57.000 What do you even see there?

01:38:58.000 Yeah.

01:38:58.000 If you get trapped in Barstow in a glass bubble, like halfway to Vegas.

01:39:03.000 Hey, remember Biosphere?

01:39:04.000 Remember that?

01:39:04.000 Yes, Pauly Shore.

01:39:06.000 No, but they did a real one.

01:39:08.000 Oh, that's right.

01:39:10.000 The actual Biosphere.

01:39:11.000 Paulie Shore and who else?

01:39:13.000 Stephen Baldwin.

01:39:14.000 Yeah, they did Biosphere.

01:39:16.000 That didn't go so well.

01:39:17.000 No, people went crazy.

01:39:19.000 Why don't we do that again?

01:39:21.000 People go crazy, man.

01:39:22.000 They don't want to be locked together with each other.

01:39:24.000 It's not normal for everybody to be just stuck in some bubble with each other.

01:39:28.000 It's been 25 years since Biosphere.

01:39:30.000 Since eight scientists sealed themselves in a Biosphere for two whole years.

01:39:33.000 What ended up happening to them?

01:39:34.000 I forget.

01:39:35.000 They probably went on a fuck rampage.

01:39:37.000 It took more than three months just to make pizza.

01:39:39.000 Really?

01:39:40.000 What does that mean?

01:39:41.000 They didn't bring a guy?

01:39:42.000 They probably had to grow the ingredients from scratch or something.

01:39:44.000 Oh, hell no!

01:39:46.000 Of course.

01:39:47.000 Oh yeah, they had to live, they had to be sustainable inside that little ecosystem.

01:39:50.000 Were they allowed to bang each other?

01:39:52.000 How could you forbid that?

01:39:54.000 How could you?

01:39:54.000 That's all people want to do in general.

01:39:56.000 It's work.

01:39:56.000 But it's work.

01:39:56.000 Work environment.

01:39:58.000 Harassment.

01:39:58.000 Yeah, I guess you're right.

01:40:00.000 Who's HR? Who's going to stop you?

01:40:02.000 That's right.

01:40:02.000 Who is HR? So there's 25 people in there?

01:40:05.000 25 scientists.

01:40:06.000 And that's the thing.

01:40:06.000 Do you think that if people, if we didn't have laws, we're in a lawless society, no police, would we just kill each other?

01:40:12.000 Yes.

01:40:13.000 Barbarians.

01:40:13.000 Because it didn't happen there.

01:40:14.000 Who was the law there in the biosphere?

01:40:17.000 I think most of the time we don't even...

01:40:19.000 What does this say, Jamie?

01:40:20.000 Nevertheless, the team completed the mission to merge you from the outside world after two years of solitude.

01:40:24.000 Okay.

01:40:26.000 I think most of the time you don't need the law.

01:40:29.000 But is that because we know the law exists and people have formulated society in the sense that you could always count on the law so that keeps people in check?

01:40:40.000 I don't know.

01:40:41.000 And it depends on where you live.

01:40:42.000 Like, if you live in a poverty-stricken, crime-ridden neighborhood, do you need the law there more, or do you need the law there less?

01:40:51.000 Is maybe people being arrested a lot causing some of the problems that you're seeing in that neighborhood, and there's some of those arrests because of non-violent drug offenses?

01:41:01.000 How much are you turning...

01:41:02.000 Because there is a certain percentage of people that get turned into criminals once they get introduced into the judicial system as a non-violent person who's just selling drugs.

01:41:11.000 It drives them towards that.

01:41:12.000 You're stuck in a fucking full penitentiary with criminals, like real criminals, like violent people.

01:41:20.000 And then you're just a guy who sells weed.

01:41:22.000 You're like, oh my god, how did I get here?

01:41:24.000 Fuck.

01:41:24.000 What am I doing here?

01:41:25.000 That's real too.

01:41:26.000 This is why we need to analyze those isolated...

01:41:42.000 I don't know.

01:42:01.000 Yeah.

01:42:02.000 Damn!

01:42:05.000 Yeah, and this one guy was talking about, I think it was that book.

01:42:07.000 I'm pretty sure it was Sapiens.

01:42:10.000 I read a bunch of books, or listened to, I should say, I don't want to lie, listened to them on tape, a bunch of them back-to-back on runs that were dealing with this very same issue.

01:42:17.000 And they were talking about this guy who was like, he killed a few of his aunts.

01:42:23.000 Damn!

01:42:23.000 Yeah, and they were like, all the old ladies are scared of him because he was the guy that they hired to kill them when they weren't pulling their own weight.

01:42:29.000 I'm like, okay.

01:42:30.000 Yeah.

01:42:30.000 But maybe that—is that a bad thing, though?

01:42:33.000 Because if you're part of— It's bad if you're that old lady.

01:42:35.000 That's correct.

01:42:36.000 If you're part of an older tribe—if you're part of a tribe, right?

01:42:39.000 And you guys have to keep moving and keeping things going because you're going to get killed by another tribe.

01:42:44.000 And then you have weaker members of that tribe that are holding the entire tribe back.

01:42:48.000 What do you do?

01:42:49.000 What do you do?

01:42:49.000 Do you risk—I mean, do you— That's the real question, right?

01:42:51.000 Would you put a bullet in— You know, your friend's mom, because she wasn't pulling her weight, and because that depends on the entire tribe itself.

01:43:00.000 She's throwing the whole tribe down.

01:43:01.000 See, that's the thing that you do when you don't have much, right?

01:43:05.000 Right.

01:43:06.000 When you have surplus, like we have, we value our older people.

01:43:10.000 We want to care for them.

01:43:11.000 Right.

01:43:11.000 Have to live with us and stuff, yeah.

01:43:12.000 Yeah, there's a famous video of these two comedians.

01:43:15.000 You've seen that video?

01:43:16.000 There's two comedians that find this lady who's trying to buy gas with pennies and shit, and they give her money, and she starts crying.

01:43:21.000 It's a tearjerker.

01:43:23.000 It's a serious tearjerker.

01:43:24.000 What happens in the video?

01:43:25.000 They give her money.

01:43:26.000 They buy gas?

01:43:27.000 Yeah, these two young guys get out and give this lady money, and she starts crying.

01:43:33.000 She's at a gas station?

01:43:34.000 Yeah.

01:43:35.000 Well, gas is like five bucks a gallon.

01:43:36.000 I'd cry too, probably.

01:43:37.000 She's paying with pennies and shit.

01:43:39.000 And so they give her some money and she's like weeping.

01:43:44.000 It's really...

01:43:45.000 Her husband died just a week ago.

01:43:48.000 It's heavy.

01:43:49.000 Turn it off.

01:43:49.000 I'm going to start crying.

01:43:50.000 Stop it.

01:43:50.000 I want to see you cry, Joe.

01:43:52.000 Hey, Joe, what was the last time you cried?

01:43:54.000 Not that long ago.

01:43:54.000 Really?

01:43:55.000 Yeah.

01:43:56.000 I cry for happy things.

01:43:57.000 Oh, really?

01:43:58.000 Yeah.

01:43:58.000 You don't cry for sad stuff?

01:43:59.000 Not as much, man.

01:44:01.000 Like, if someone does something really amazing, I'll start crying.

01:44:04.000 Really?

01:44:04.000 Yeah.

01:44:05.000 You saw my videos, you're like, oh, God.

01:44:08.000 I gotta get him in here!

01:44:09.000 Get this guy at the show!

01:44:10.000 Yeah.

01:44:10.000 When people do good things, I cry.

01:44:12.000 Yeah.

01:44:12.000 I tear up for shit like that.

01:44:14.000 Gotcha.

01:44:14.000 Yeah.

01:44:15.000 Same here.

01:44:16.000 Yeah.

01:44:16.000 I'm not into dudes who cry about, like, stupid shit.

01:44:19.000 Yeah, like having too much money or something.

01:44:21.000 Oh, God, no.

01:44:22.000 Shut up.

01:44:23.000 Fuck you.

01:44:23.000 Shut up, man.

01:44:24.000 You know, if he'd cry, why is it always me?

01:44:26.000 I ran out of gas.

01:44:28.000 Well, that's what happens when you drive and it says, empty, you dumb fuck.

01:44:32.000 Jesus Christ.

01:44:33.000 Should have bought an EV. When do you think it's going to happen that EVs are all electrical?

01:44:37.000 Like, with the solar.

01:44:39.000 Oh, not for a while, man.

01:44:41.000 Solar density is tough because...

01:44:43.000 You need a lot of panels.

01:44:44.000 But out here?

01:44:45.000 Yeah, true.

01:44:46.000 Well, out here, I think a lot of people are rocking it that way in two steps.

01:44:50.000 They get the solar from the roof or from the panels, and then it goes into the battery, and the battery, and then they charge it.

01:44:55.000 So a lot of people, what they do is they just, it's cheaper.

01:44:58.000 They just get a whole bunch of panels, and they reduce their electricity bill by not having, you need the battery pack itself to store the electricity.

01:45:05.000 Right.

01:45:06.000 And a lot of the times people don't have a large enough battery pack in their homes to store that energy to charge their cars.

01:45:12.000 You know what I mean?

01:45:12.000 A lot of people just have the panels to offset the price of electricity that feeds back into the grid.

01:45:16.000 But what I mean is the car itself.

01:45:18.000 Like Fisker had that for a while where their roof had a solar powered thing that was powering the radio.

01:45:23.000 Yeah, it's like a gimmicky kind of thing.

01:45:26.000 Is it gimmicky?

01:45:27.000 It kind of is because you're very limited in size, the amount of panels that you could put on the roof.

01:45:33.000 It's really only enough to, like, trickle charge, like, a couple things.

01:45:36.000 You know what I mean?

01:45:37.000 You need, like, a bigger array.

01:45:38.000 Or, like, heavy solar density.

01:45:41.000 And that's coming, but, like, there's not enough to really, like, power the car from it.

01:45:44.000 You know what I mean?

01:45:44.000 While you're driving.

01:45:45.000 Maybe there's an alternative way to gather the sun.

01:45:49.000 To gather the rays.

01:45:52.000 Because that would be the most amazing thing ever.

01:45:54.000 If we all had cars that were electric that just ran in the sun.

01:45:57.000 And there was no need for oil.

01:45:59.000 It's all done.

01:45:59.000 Yeah, I know, man.

01:46:00.000 Is that the Fisker, Jamie?

01:46:01.000 Yeah.

01:46:02.000 So that solar array on the rooftop, I think it powers the radio.

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:06.000 So you only have so much room on the roof, and all it powers is the radio.

01:46:10.000 Imagine the motor.

01:46:11.000 Yeah, ridiculous.

01:46:12.000 The motor, it wouldn't even try it.

01:46:14.000 But that didn't even exist 20 years ago.

01:46:16.000 So who knows?

01:46:17.000 In the future, it seems like it could be possible.

01:46:21.000 You could figure out a way to make it efficient, especially out here.

01:46:24.000 Yeah.

01:46:25.000 There's a ton of sun out here.

01:46:26.000 Yeah.

01:46:27.000 That would be the most amazing thing ever.

01:46:28.000 Why is that woman laying on the roof?

01:46:29.000 I don't understand that.

01:46:29.000 She's trying to be hot, bro.

01:46:31.000 Trying to get some dick.

01:46:32.000 Look at her.

01:46:33.000 Trying to sell cars.

01:46:34.000 Yeah, what's up with the glasses?

01:46:35.000 She looks really pale, too.

01:46:37.000 She's gonna burst into frames.

01:46:38.000 Is that Cher?

01:46:38.000 That's Cher a little bit.

01:46:40.000 That's Cher's fetus.

01:46:43.000 Yeah.

01:46:44.000 I mean, I think that would be...

01:46:46.000 That would really be the future.

01:46:48.000 We had no reliance whatsoever on oil.

01:46:51.000 That'd be badass, man.

01:46:52.000 What do you think about...

01:46:53.000 Speaking of reliance, what do you think about people no longer relying on driving their own cars?

01:46:58.000 What do you think if everyone owned a Tesla, right?

01:47:00.000 What would that world look like?

01:47:01.000 Everyone put in autopilot when they went somewhere.

01:47:04.000 What would that look like?

01:47:05.000 Because you've used autopilot, but you keep your hand on the wheel because you're nervous.

01:47:07.000 I think one day it's going to be amazing.

01:47:09.000 But I think it's like...

01:47:11.000 If you bought Windows 95. If you bought a computer in 95 and you had Windows, it would crash all the time.

01:47:16.000 You get that blue screen to death.

01:47:17.000 Right.

01:47:18.000 It doesn't always work.

01:47:19.000 Nope.

01:47:19.000 But you can rely...

01:47:20.000 Like Windows 10 does not...

01:47:22.000 I've never had it crash.

01:47:22.000 Not once.

01:47:23.000 Yeah.

01:47:24.000 I think that that's what it's going to be like with a Tesla.

01:47:26.000 I think there's going to be a few crashes.

01:47:28.000 Yeah, of course.

01:47:29.000 If everyone's driving these things, there's going to be hiccups, errors, software problems, glitches.

01:47:34.000 Some people are just dumbasses, too.

01:47:35.000 Yeah.

01:47:36.000 But then after a while, it's just going to work.

01:47:39.000 If you look at the...

01:47:41.000 We were talking about Windows or Android versus Apple.

01:47:45.000 The old Android was dog shit.

01:47:46.000 It was terrible.

01:47:47.000 But I have a new Note 9, a Galaxy Note 9. You're an Android guy?

01:47:51.000 No, I have both.

01:47:52.000 Both of everything.

01:47:53.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 I like to fuck with shit.

01:47:54.000 Yeah.

01:47:55.000 That's why I'm interested in your...

01:47:56.000 So, what do you use two phones for?

01:47:57.000 What do you need to...

01:47:58.000 Are you a drug dealer?

01:47:58.000 Work?

01:47:59.000 Yes.

01:47:59.000 Yeah.

01:47:59.000 Okay.

01:48:00.000 One number I give to people who are squirrely.

01:48:04.000 Really?

01:48:04.000 A suspect?

01:48:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:48:06.000 Like, I have to...

01:48:07.000 You know, I'll turn it on every now and then and check text and go, Jesus, this fucking guy.

01:48:11.000 Yeah.

01:48:11.000 And then the other one...

01:48:12.000 So, what number would you give me?

01:48:13.000 I'll give you the real one.

01:48:14.000 Hmm.

01:48:14.000 I'll give you the real one, bro.

01:48:15.000 I'll give you the iPhone.

01:48:16.000 Nice.

01:48:17.000 It comes up blue.

01:48:17.000 If you get a green text from me, you know you're on the squirrely list.

01:48:20.000 Yeah.

01:48:22.000 That's a good point.

01:48:23.000 Everyone text Joe right now and be like, hey, listen, what's this bubble showing up as?

01:48:26.000 I like the idea of supporting alternative platforms.

01:48:30.000 That's one of the reasons why I appreciate Windows and I appreciate Android.

01:48:35.000 But I think that Apple has a better platform.

01:48:37.000 There's a better ecosystem.

01:48:38.000 Absolutely.

01:48:39.000 I despise their lack of options with their laptops.

01:48:42.000 I despise it.

01:48:43.000 I think it's...

01:48:47.000 It's unfathomable how such an enormous company can have such shit things to type on when they cater to creative people.

01:48:54.000 Yeah, it's their way of the highway.

01:48:56.000 This is how it is, and that's kind of it.

01:48:57.000 But when I have one at home, I have a mechanical keyboard.

01:48:59.000 You like those things?

01:49:00.000 I love them.

01:49:01.000 Clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety.

01:49:02.000 Do you customize yours at all?

01:49:03.000 Nope.

01:49:03.000 Do you spec it out, make it all super sweet?

01:49:05.000 No, I use a Razer, one of those Razer ones.

01:49:08.000 It's a gaming one, but I use it for typing.

01:49:11.000 Why do you...

01:49:12.000 I've never used a mechanical keyboard.

01:49:13.000 As a tech guy, I'm embarrassed to admit I've never used one.

01:49:15.000 I just use the built-in laptop one.

01:49:17.000 What are the benefits from it?

01:49:19.000 I'm a feedback person.

01:49:21.000 I like tactile feedback.

01:49:23.000 I like to click.

01:49:24.000 I like to feel it.

01:49:26.000 And the same reason why I like a manual transmission.

01:49:29.000 Same reason why I like mechanical things.

01:49:31.000 Maybe you should get a phone that has buttons on it.

01:49:33.000 I should, bro.

01:49:34.000 Remember those T-Mobile sidekicks?

01:49:36.000 Yes.

01:49:37.000 Like the flip phones and stuff like that.

01:49:38.000 Those are the shit, man.

01:49:40.000 I remember people had those.

01:49:41.000 I was jealous.

01:49:42.000 Yeah.

01:49:42.000 What about people that can still type with just the keypad when they have to do four presses to get an S? Yes.

01:49:49.000 There's a lot of people out there still rocking that.

01:49:51.000 But the old Nokia is like you press like three, eight times to get to the E and stuff like that.

01:49:55.000 Or playing Snake.

01:49:56.000 Remember that game Snake?

01:49:56.000 There it is.

01:49:57.000 There's the sidekick.

01:49:58.000 Oh, damn.

01:49:59.000 Brought it back.

01:49:59.000 No, they didn't.

01:50:00.000 Yes.

01:50:01.000 Is that what this is?

01:50:02.000 What year is this?

01:50:03.000 They didn't bring that back.

01:50:04.000 This is coming back.

01:50:05.000 That's bullshit.

01:50:06.000 I mean, I don't know how popular it is.

01:50:07.000 Is this for sale right now?

01:50:08.000 What version of T-Mobile website is this?

01:50:10.000 There's no way.

01:50:11.000 This is from like 1996. T-Mobile still has sidekicks?

01:50:14.000 Get sidekick support.

01:50:15.000 Oh, it is.

01:50:16.000 It says 4G. So it is.

01:50:17.000 What?

01:50:18.000 What do you think world we're living in?

01:50:19.000 Let's do whatever you want.

01:50:20.000 Yeah.

01:50:20.000 What do you want?

01:50:21.000 You can get it.

01:50:21.000 Who's going to buy that?

01:50:23.000 Joe, you should buy that.

01:50:24.000 Paris Hilton's got one.

01:50:25.000 It's got a pink key.

01:50:26.000 What's that pink key for?

01:50:27.000 Is that enter?

01:50:28.000 Go back in time.

01:50:30.000 Yeah, right?

01:50:31.000 Time warp.

01:50:32.000 What the fuck, man?

01:50:33.000 So that's like a Twitter feed that someone's looking at on their sidekick.

01:50:35.000 However, you know what?

01:50:36.000 I will admit, it was a struggle for me to go from the physical typing keyboard.

01:50:41.000 Me too.

01:50:42.000 It was hard.

01:50:43.000 I didn't want to let it go.

01:50:44.000 I was BlackBerry's bitch for a little while.

01:50:47.000 Longer than I should have.

01:50:48.000 Right.

01:50:48.000 Yeah.

01:50:48.000 Do you have one now?

01:50:49.000 No.

01:50:50.000 I'm going to draw something.

01:50:50.000 No, I gave up on it.

01:50:51.000 Yeah.

01:50:52.000 Tommy Burns does.

01:50:53.000 What's that?

01:50:54.000 Tom Segura is all about that BlackBerry.

01:50:55.000 He's bullshitting you.

01:50:56.000 Do you not know that?

01:50:57.000 It's a joke.

01:50:58.000 I know.

01:50:58.000 Those things exist?

01:50:59.000 No one uses a BlackBerry.

01:51:00.000 Well, they have the ones that have the physical keyboard attached to a big screen.

01:51:04.000 You've seen that?

01:51:05.000 Does it slide down?

01:51:06.000 No.

01:51:07.000 Yeah, those are like all Android.

01:51:08.000 Those are all Android powered now, I think, right?

01:51:10.000 Yes, yeah.

01:51:11.000 All the blackboards are.

01:51:11.000 How about a Windows phone?

01:51:13.000 Ooh.

01:51:14.000 Yeah.

01:51:15.000 Right.

01:51:16.000 That kind of faded into obscurity.

01:51:17.000 Do you remember the Matrix phone?

01:51:19.000 That they clicked it and the mouthpiece slid down and everyone was super pumped.

01:51:23.000 Like, oh, that looks badass.

01:51:25.000 Can't wait until that comes out.

01:51:26.000 No.

01:51:26.000 It never came out.

01:51:27.000 They made a couple of them just because people, they were like 5,000 bucks or something.

01:51:30.000 Windows phones, it's weird that that didn't take off.

01:51:33.000 A friend of mine had one of those.

01:51:34.000 I was like, look at you.

01:51:35.000 And they had those weird tiles.

01:51:36.000 Yeah, the tiles, like Windows 10. Right, exactly.

01:51:39.000 Those tiles are awkward.

01:51:40.000 They're still awkward to me.

01:51:41.000 They're uncomfortable.

01:51:41.000 This is not the way to do it.

01:51:43.000 So, if you have a Windows phone now, what are you doing?

01:51:45.000 You're fucked.

01:51:46.000 They don't make them anymore.

01:51:48.000 You're not getting updates.

01:51:49.000 No, you're not getting shit.

01:51:50.000 They're just letting it die.

01:51:51.000 You're kind of just stuck in 1996. It's like 8-track.

01:51:54.000 What is this, Jamie?

01:51:55.000 It's a Matrix phone.

01:51:56.000 That same phone?

01:51:57.000 It was released last year.

01:51:58.000 Ooh, look at that guy.

01:51:59.000 He's so excited.

01:52:00.000 Oh, it's a slide?

01:52:01.000 Yeah, that's like the old school.

01:52:02.000 It had a slider phone.

01:52:04.000 You think you'd look cool or stupid with that thing?

01:52:06.000 Stupid.

01:52:07.000 Yeah.

01:52:07.000 So what are you doing, guy?

01:52:09.000 Get yourself a banana.

01:52:10.000 Get a real phone, you fucking dork.

01:52:13.000 But it does have the keypad where you have to do that shit.

01:52:16.000 Who wants to go back to doing that?

01:52:17.000 Assholes.

01:52:18.000 Some assholes like it.

01:52:19.000 T9 texting was pretty fast.

01:52:20.000 I feel like you're a cocky prick if you do that.

01:52:21.000 You shut your dirty mouth.

01:52:23.000 You shut your dirty mouth?

01:52:24.000 The T9? I forgot how to do it.

01:52:25.000 I forgot.

01:52:26.000 I never knew.

01:52:27.000 I never knew.

01:52:28.000 Wait, is that touchscreen as well?

01:52:29.000 Oh, God.

01:52:30.000 I hope it is.

01:52:31.000 This is just...

01:52:32.000 It's like a mouse pad.

01:52:34.000 They gotta navigate with that stupid thing.

01:52:36.000 I hope this doesn't succeed.

01:52:37.000 It's probably got Snake on it, though.

01:52:38.000 Yeah.

01:52:39.000 Snake was the shit, right?

01:52:40.000 Remember Snake?

01:52:40.000 What is Snake?

01:52:41.000 Is that a game?

01:52:42.000 Yeah.

01:52:42.000 Old, old, old game.

01:52:44.000 I have avoided games on my phone for a very specific reason.

01:52:47.000 Why?

01:52:47.000 Because I have a problem with games.

01:52:49.000 Like you get hooked on it?

01:52:50.000 Yeah.

01:52:51.000 You have a badass gaming rig over there.

01:52:52.000 I saw that gaming rig.

01:52:53.000 The game room, the LAN, but that's all for first person shooters while we're here.

01:52:57.000 I cannot have a game that I love on my phone.

01:53:00.000 Why not have that?

01:53:01.000 Because I'm a child.

01:53:02.000 Yeah, you get obsessed with it?

01:53:03.000 Yeah, I don't have that kind of control.

01:53:05.000 If I have a fucking awesome game that's on my phone, that's my life.

01:53:09.000 My life's gone now because I've got that game on me everywhere I go.

01:53:12.000 What apps do you have on your phone?

01:53:13.000 What else keep you going?

01:53:15.000 I have a bunch of normal apps like Instagram and Twitter.

01:53:19.000 Right.

01:53:20.000 But I have a bunch of cool ones like some Star Map shit.

01:53:23.000 What do you got?

01:53:24.000 I've never looked for this, but I just found someone playing Quake on their phone.

01:53:27.000 Oh, look at this.

01:53:28.000 Oh, fuck!

01:53:29.000 Yeah, now Joe's going to get that.

01:53:30.000 God damn it!

01:53:31.000 Wait, what kind?

01:53:31.000 Is that an Xbox controller?

01:53:32.000 It's sort of like that.

01:53:33.000 It's a controller you can connect via this shit, but they have Quake 3 ported on there.

01:53:37.000 God damn it.

01:53:39.000 See, why the fuck would you tell me that?

01:53:41.000 I've never looked before.

01:53:42.000 Son of a bitch.

01:53:43.000 It looks like it was two-dimensional, though.

01:53:44.000 Or not 2D, but didn't have an up and a down.

01:53:47.000 You have a new addiction now.

01:53:48.000 Congratulations on your new addiction.

01:53:50.000 I'm not going to do it.

01:53:51.000 I don't have anything on my phone.

01:53:53.000 I had chess on my phone for a little while, and I didn't even like that.

01:53:56.000 Because I started going, hmm, how do I get better at this?

01:53:58.000 I'm like, shut the fuck up!

01:54:00.000 Then I had to just shut it off.

01:54:01.000 I'm like, put that goddamn thing down.

01:54:02.000 So you have to pick and choose what you want to devote your time and energy to.

01:54:05.000 So what are your top...

01:54:16.000 Yeah.

01:54:18.000 Yeah.

01:54:20.000 Yeah.

01:54:22.000 Yeah.

01:54:33.000 People watch my videos like, well, you're kind of funny.

01:54:35.000 You're funny.

01:54:35.000 You should do stand-up.

01:54:36.000 No, dude.

01:54:36.000 Trust me.

01:54:37.000 I'm a professional.

01:54:38.000 You're a funny guy.

01:54:38.000 You could totally do it.

01:54:39.000 Thank you.

01:54:39.000 All you have to do is go to an open mic night.

01:54:41.000 Really?

01:54:41.000 Yeah.

01:54:42.000 What I suggest, go to an open mic night and see how terrible everybody is.

01:54:46.000 Right.

01:54:46.000 And then you'll be inspired to try.

01:54:49.000 You're going to be terrible, too.

01:54:50.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:54:50.000 I was terrible when I first started.

01:54:52.000 But you'll probably be better than most.

01:54:54.000 Really?

01:54:55.000 Yeah.

01:54:55.000 And that's all you need.

01:54:56.000 All you need is people...

01:54:57.000 If you say something, people are like, ha, ha.

01:55:00.000 That's all you need.

01:55:01.000 Right.

01:55:01.000 Just a little chuckle.

01:55:02.000 Just one guy in the front row.

01:55:03.000 And you go, okay, I got an ember.

01:55:04.000 I got an ember.

01:55:05.000 Yeah.

01:55:05.000 Like, I can do this.

01:55:06.000 And then you'll figure it out, and you'll get better at it.

01:55:07.000 And you'll work at it, and you'll tweak it.

01:55:09.000 How old are you?

01:55:10.000 36. You can do it.

01:55:11.000 You still have time.

01:55:12.000 You're still alive.

01:55:13.000 When's a cutoff date?

01:55:14.000 40. Shit.

01:55:15.000 Kill yourself.

01:55:16.000 No.

01:55:17.000 No.

01:55:19.000 I don't mean that.

01:55:20.000 Don't listen to me.

01:55:21.000 You're done.

01:55:21.000 You'll never be anything.

01:55:22.000 Just jokes, folks.

01:55:22.000 Just jokes.

01:55:23.000 Just kidding.

01:55:23.000 JK, JK. But if you're a person who can make people laugh and you are willing to dedicate yourself to it, it's not like you have to have a certain amount of flexibility or a certain amount of physical strength.

01:55:34.000 Right.

01:55:35.000 No, it's just, can you make people laugh?

01:55:36.000 Okay.

01:55:37.000 Then you can do it.

01:55:38.000 Are you going to pull it off?

01:55:40.000 Right.

01:55:40.000 That's another question.

01:55:41.000 So how do you get inspiration?

01:55:42.000 So you sit down.

01:55:43.000 You're like, yeah, this is funny.

01:55:44.000 How do you get inspiration for that?

01:55:47.000 I think you have to be what I would call a professional.

01:55:51.000 And I've gotten this from Stephen Pressfield, who wrote The War of Art, which is a great book.

01:55:57.000 And I've also got it from reading Stephen King on writing and talking to a lot of different writers about how they handle things.

01:56:05.000 If you just waited to be inspired, and that's the only time you wrote...

01:56:09.000 Right.

01:56:11.000 Right.

01:56:26.000 And a lot of the first 20 minutes might be total horseshit that doesn't get me anywhere.

01:56:30.000 But then I got an idea.

01:56:32.000 What about that?

01:56:33.000 Well, why the fuck do we do that?

01:56:34.000 And then I'll start writing about that.

01:56:36.000 And then I'll make things up.

01:56:37.000 I'll make up a fact.

01:56:38.000 And then I'll argue against that fact.

01:56:40.000 And then maybe I'll find out what the real fact is and see if I can argue that way.

01:56:44.000 And then I'll...

01:56:46.000 And I'll give up.

01:56:47.000 I'll get to like 1700 words or something and then I'll shut the laptop and go, what the fuck am I doing?

01:56:51.000 How do you know that you're not going to...

01:56:52.000 A common thing is when comedians steal jokes and material.

01:56:56.000 So when you're writing and you're like, yeah, I'm going to do this.

01:56:59.000 This is an awesome idea.

01:56:59.000 How do you know...

01:57:01.000 That that content already hasn't been discussed.

01:57:04.000 Well, you don't always.

01:57:06.000 You don't always.

01:57:07.000 You could absolutely write something and have parallel thinking.

01:57:11.000 Write something and not even know that someone's already written it.

01:57:13.000 Right.

01:57:13.000 But there's a difference between that and stealing.

01:57:16.000 Like, you know, when someone's...

01:57:17.000 Like, if you come up with...

01:57:29.000 Right.

01:57:30.000 Right.

01:57:33.000 Right.

01:57:43.000 They probably didn't hear anybody do it, they thought it was funny, they thought it up themselves, and they did it.

01:57:48.000 Or maybe it even happened to them, and they did it.

01:57:50.000 That's parallel thinking.

01:57:52.000 It's a common one.

01:57:53.000 And then there's other people that did hear someone do it and they stole it.

01:57:56.000 That's a different thing.

01:57:57.000 That's the worst.

01:57:58.000 But you could get both of those things from that same subject.

01:58:01.000 That same really common, easy to think of subject.

01:58:04.000 There's a lot of those.

01:58:05.000 Cops and donuts.

01:58:06.000 There's a lot of things that are like a part of the lexicon.

01:58:09.000 They're a part of the way we talk.

01:58:12.000 They're a part of culture.

01:58:13.000 And you could think you thought them up, but you didn't.

01:58:15.000 It's almost like Seinfeld in a way.

01:58:17.000 That shit happens to everyone.

01:58:18.000 Sure, sure.

01:58:20.000 But then there's stuff that's clearly yours.

01:58:23.000 Like, if you did a whole bit about how you built a Tesla.

01:58:28.000 Right.

01:58:29.000 And then you got paranoid.

01:58:31.000 That'd be a heavy hitter.

01:58:31.000 And you thought Elon Musk is plotting against you.

01:58:33.000 Kill it and crush it.

01:58:34.000 You could.

01:58:36.000 Maybe don't do that.

01:58:37.000 And that would be something that's wholly unique to you.

01:58:40.000 Right.

01:58:40.000 I mean, how many fucking people have built a Tesla?

01:58:43.000 Is there even 20 on the earth?

01:58:44.000 I... At this point, yeah, probably.

01:58:47.000 Maybe 20. Let's pretend.

01:58:49.000 Let's pretend that out of a 7 billion plus population of human beings, maybe 20 people have done what you've done.

01:58:57.000 But doesn't it get old, though?

01:58:59.000 That one bit gets old.

01:59:01.000 No, no, no.

01:59:03.000 You just talk about other things then.

01:59:04.000 Look, you could talk about anything that you find interesting.

01:59:08.000 Personal shit, technology, world events, worrying about the environment, you know, all this shit.

01:59:14.000 Anything.

01:59:14.000 Yeah, did that whale really have a bomb strapped to it?

01:59:16.000 I keep thinking about that over and over again.

01:59:17.000 Why not?

01:59:18.000 Yeah.

01:59:18.000 I mean, and then if you...

01:59:19.000 Maybe it was like...

01:59:21.000 Someone from CNN that fucking hates the Russians and wanted to blame everything on the Russians.

01:59:26.000 Yeah, they got duped for two years saying that there was collusion and that Trump was going down and they colluded with Russia.

01:59:34.000 And then it turns out that the Mueller report doesn't really necessarily say that.

01:59:38.000 And then they're like, fuck, we've got to do something about these goddamn Russians.

01:59:41.000 So they hired this whale and they put a strap on him.

01:59:45.000 I don't know.

01:59:46.000 That was a good story.

01:59:46.000 Shit.

01:59:47.000 It's not bad.

01:59:48.000 So you write all this stuff down, right?

01:59:51.000 You write like 1,700 words, 2,000 words.

01:59:53.000 Out of that, I might get one line.

01:59:55.000 Really?

01:59:56.000 Maybe.

01:59:56.000 So how do you memorize that stuff?

01:59:57.000 I write it down, and then I take it, and I extract it.

02:00:01.000 And a lot of it I put in notes on my phone.

02:00:03.000 On your iPhone?

02:00:04.000 Yeah.

02:00:05.000 That's one of the reasons why I like the iPhone is because when I write something in notes, They all show up automatically.

02:00:11.000 Oh yeah, it's all synced.

02:00:12.000 But I also have a thing called Evernote.

02:00:14.000 And so Evernote is my PC version of it.

02:00:17.000 So you do have apps.

02:00:18.000 So I transfer everything into both.

02:00:21.000 So one goes into Evernote and then one copy of it goes into Notes.

02:00:25.000 Sometimes not.

02:00:26.000 Like right now I'm a little behind on Evernote because I've been using just the Mac laptop for the last couple weeks.

02:00:30.000 Yeah.

02:00:31.000 Damn.

02:00:32.000 Yeah, so that's how I do it.

02:00:33.000 I go back and forth.

02:00:34.000 And you keep reading it and then you memorize it.

02:00:35.000 And then I write it out on paper.

02:00:37.000 Right.

02:00:38.000 The write it out on paper part is really more just to highlight it so I remember what the key points are.

02:00:44.000 I don't necessarily write it out in full.

02:00:47.000 I look at what I wrote out And then I say, okay, I know where I'm trying to go.

02:00:52.000 Let me just try to go there organically.

02:00:54.000 Right.

02:00:54.000 So this one time I did a speech in front of about maybe like 160 people or so.

02:00:59.000 I threw some jokes in there, which is actually pretty good.

02:01:01.000 You ever get that weird thing where you're explaining a story and you didn't even get to the joke yet and you start talking, people are already laughing?

02:01:09.000 Yeah.

02:01:09.000 I'm like, wait a minute, that wasn't supposed to be funny.

02:01:11.000 Exactly.

02:01:11.000 That was a terrible moment.

02:01:12.000 My friend died.

02:01:13.000 Why are you laughing?

02:01:13.000 It's one of those things.

02:01:14.000 Yeah.

02:01:15.000 Sometimes people see where it's going and they plan ahead and they start laughing like, oh my god, I know where this is going.

02:01:21.000 They see where you go, like, oh god, is this going, oh shit, where is this going?

02:01:26.000 They start laughing.

02:01:26.000 They start laughing there.

02:01:28.000 It's kind of one of those crazy things, but no, I think I I want to try it.

02:01:31.000 You should try it.

02:01:32.000 If you want to try it, you should try it.

02:01:33.000 The most terrifying thing is going up on stage and not getting a laugh.

02:01:37.000 Because I'm that same prick that's in the audience.

02:01:39.000 Like, wow, this guy's not funny at all.

02:01:40.000 Jesus Christ.

02:01:41.000 Of course.

02:01:41.000 This guy's off the friggin' stage.

02:01:42.000 We are all that person.

02:01:44.000 Look, especially if you don't know the guy.

02:01:46.000 People love to talk shit.

02:01:47.000 It's fun.

02:01:48.000 Some guy goes up right in front of you and says some shit.

02:01:50.000 This guy's not funny.

02:01:51.000 This guy sucks.

02:01:52.000 You're on a date.

02:01:53.000 You're like, fuck this guy.

02:01:54.000 I could do that.

02:01:55.000 It's normal.

02:01:56.000 It's normal.

02:01:57.000 Jeez.

02:01:58.000 You...

02:02:00.000 You're going to have jokes that don't work, and then you're going to have jokes that work a lot better than you thought.

02:02:04.000 You're going to be like, wow.

02:02:05.000 But I can tell you're thinking about it, so you should do it.

02:02:08.000 But you're also thinking about it in terms of the right way to think about it, like that your setups are going to get laughs.

02:02:15.000 It's one of the weirder things about comedy is that it kind of comes to life on stage.

02:02:21.000 Right.

02:02:22.000 On the paper, all I'm doing is looking for seeds.

02:02:25.000 Like, I'm looking for points and seeds and things that make me chuckle while I'm writing it.

02:02:30.000 And then I'm taking it, and I'm like, okay, am I just fucked up, or is this going to be funny?

02:02:33.000 And then I try to bring it out on stage and water it in front of all these people.

02:02:36.000 But that's the only way to do it.

02:02:38.000 You have to really develop it in front of people.

02:02:40.000 Do you remember some of your old bits?

02:02:41.000 Yeah.

02:02:42.000 You do?

02:02:42.000 Yeah, they were terrible.

02:02:43.000 I don't think so.

02:02:44.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:45.000 The earliest shit was awful.

02:02:46.000 You weren't there.

02:02:47.000 No, I wasn't there.

02:02:48.000 Trust me.

02:02:48.000 No, no, no.

02:02:49.000 First time.

02:02:50.000 Stuff I've heard, like, recorded and stuff.

02:02:52.000 Oh, thank you.

02:02:52.000 That was good stuff.

02:02:52.000 When I'm in my Tesla, I type in Comedy Stations.

02:02:58.000 Oh, right, right, right.

02:02:59.000 I type in Patrice O'Neill, and then you come up all the time in terms of your skits, Bill Burr's skits, and stuff like that.

02:03:05.000 Yeah.

02:03:05.000 Pretty good.

02:03:06.000 Patrice is one of the greatest of all time, for sure.

02:03:08.000 Absolutely.

02:03:08.000 100%.

02:03:08.000 He's Elephant in the Room.

02:03:11.000 That was the best thing ever.

02:03:12.000 It was hilarious.

02:03:13.000 This day.

02:03:13.000 It's awesome, man.

02:03:16.000 There's a few guys you just wish you could get to that could just clean their health up.

02:03:21.000 I wish he was here today.

02:03:22.000 He'd have a lot of cool shit to say.

02:03:24.000 It would be so valuable.

02:03:25.000 I think all the time I sit around like, man, he'd have some cool shit to say about that.

02:03:29.000 The closest we have to him today is really Bill Burr in terms of ballsy stance against political correctness.

02:03:36.000 But he gets away with it in a way that other people can't get away with.

02:03:40.000 Yeah, it's...

02:03:41.000 Yeah, it's sad, man.

02:03:43.000 Yeah, it sucks, man, because it was a diabetes thing.

02:03:46.000 It's like, fuck, man.

02:03:47.000 It's like, come on, man.

02:03:48.000 That could have been...

02:03:48.000 I didn't know him well enough.

02:03:50.000 I wasn't hanging out with him.

02:03:51.000 I was on the West Coast.

02:03:53.000 He was on the East Coast.

02:03:54.000 Right.

02:03:55.000 If I knew him, man, I would have tried to talk to him.

02:03:57.000 But I tried to talk to Ralphie May, too.

02:03:59.000 That didn't work.

02:04:00.000 People, they're on their path.

02:04:02.000 Yeah.

02:04:03.000 Especially comics is the thing about someone who's that free, like Patrice O'Neill.

02:04:08.000 Like, he really doesn't give a fuck.

02:04:09.000 Not zero.

02:04:10.000 He didn't give a fuck.

02:04:11.000 That's what made him hilarious.

02:04:12.000 He didn't give a fuck what he said about anything.

02:04:13.000 Didn't give a fuck what he ate either, though.

02:04:14.000 Yeah.

02:04:16.000 Yeah.

02:04:17.000 Just ate whatever the fuck he wanted.

02:04:18.000 Did whatever the fuck he wanted.

02:04:19.000 It was indulgent.

02:04:20.000 Yeah.

02:04:21.000 That indulgent translated to brilliant comedy, but it also translated into him not taking care of his body.

02:04:26.000 Yeah.

02:04:27.000 That's unfortunate, man.

02:04:28.000 Yeah.

02:04:29.000 So, my big question for you is, what do you...

02:04:32.000 You know you go to a party, right?

02:04:34.000 Everyone has that one thing that they can't stop talking about.

02:04:36.000 You have like, hey, I have a Tesla.

02:04:38.000 Hey, I do yoga.

02:04:40.000 Hey, I'm vegan.

02:04:42.000 What's your party trick?

02:04:43.000 I don't have one.

02:04:44.000 What's the one thing that you can't stop talking about?

02:04:47.000 I luckily don't have one because I don't really go to parties.

02:04:51.000 If I do go to parties, they're for my kids.

02:04:52.000 It's like birthday parties and shit.

02:04:54.000 Then you're just talking to parents.

02:04:55.000 And they usually want to ask me UFC questions.

02:04:57.000 Or they want to ask me about, what's Elon Musk like?

02:05:00.000 Or they want to ask me, when are you going to get Kanye on?

02:05:03.000 That kind of shit.

02:05:05.000 What's that weird thing feel like where you actually go out in public?

02:05:08.000 And you're actually amongst people and stuff.

02:05:11.000 What are the most frequently questions they ask you?

02:05:13.000 Those kind of questions.

02:05:14.000 MMA stuff?

02:05:14.000 MMA stuff is real common.

02:05:16.000 Comedy stuff is real common.

02:05:17.000 Podcast stuff.

02:05:18.000 Yeah, they ask you weird questions.

02:05:19.000 But the vast majority of people are cool.

02:05:22.000 The vast majority of people are like, hey, what's up?

02:05:24.000 Hey, what's going on, man?

02:05:25.000 It's fun.

02:05:26.000 It's all great.

02:05:27.000 Yeah.

02:05:27.000 It's all good.

02:05:28.000 If you put that out there, like what I put out there, I'm pretty nice.

02:05:32.000 That's what I try to put out there.

02:05:33.000 So that's what you get back.

02:05:34.000 Right.

02:05:34.000 So what's next now?

02:05:35.000 What's next for Joe Rogan?

02:05:36.000 Are you interviewing me, man?

02:05:38.000 What's going on here?

02:05:38.000 Yeah, but yeah.

02:05:38.000 You've turned this around.

02:05:39.000 See, I told you.

02:05:40.000 Turn the tables.

02:05:40.000 You're a natural.

02:05:41.000 Yeah.

02:05:42.000 You're a natural for this.

02:05:43.000 So yeah, so what is...

02:05:44.000 There's no next.

02:05:45.000 No, just do this.

02:05:46.000 But the thing is, I'm trying to...

02:05:48.000 Legitimately, I'm telling you, there's no next.

02:05:50.000 Because you're a successful person, right?

02:05:52.000 I came in here.

02:05:53.000 You pulled up in a black Tesla.

02:05:54.000 It wasn't salvaged.

02:05:56.000 You didn't get it out of the ocean.

02:05:57.000 I want to learn from you.

02:05:58.000 I want to know the things that you do.

02:06:00.000 The thing is...

02:06:00.000 What I did is what you're doing right now.

02:06:02.000 I took my own path.

02:06:04.000 That's what you're doing right now.

02:06:05.000 Yeah.

02:06:06.000 I mean, what your path is going to be, I assume you're going to be doing more YouTube videos.

02:06:11.000 I'm assuming your channel's going to grow.

02:06:12.000 And I'm assuming you're probably going to try stand-up comedy.

02:06:14.000 You're probably going to like it.

02:06:15.000 And you'll probably do a podcast, too.

02:06:16.000 Kind of cool.

02:06:17.000 Is that how you got into the podcast?

02:06:18.000 Look how easy you are at podcasts.

02:06:19.000 You've never even done one before.

02:06:21.000 People don't understand.

02:06:23.000 You're like, how do I put these headphones on?

02:06:25.000 What do I do with the mic?

02:06:26.000 Seriously, what's this black thing in front of me?

02:06:27.000 Meanwhile, you're doing this like a pro.

02:06:29.000 Yeah, I appreciate that.

02:06:30.000 Look, you're even interviewing me.

02:06:31.000 Yeah, I want to learn from you.

02:06:33.000 But see, that's how this comfortable, easy nature that you have totally translates into all these things we talked about.

02:06:40.000 Okay, that's good.

02:06:40.000 You can easily do a podcast.

02:06:42.000 You could easily do stand-up.

02:06:43.000 Easily.

02:06:43.000 100%.

02:06:44.000 Well, stand-up's not as easy as a podcast.

02:06:46.000 Podcast is easier.

02:06:47.000 You ever have, like, a new stand-up person, you have to name your names, and they just suck, and you're just like, why is this guy, this guy shouldn't be?

02:06:53.000 Yes.

02:06:53.000 Yeah, there's a few that you go, ooh, I gotta get out of here.

02:06:55.000 Yeah.

02:06:56.000 I can't be around this.

02:06:57.000 You worry, it's contagious.

02:06:58.000 Yeah.

02:06:58.000 If you watch someone that's really bad, it's one thing.

02:07:00.000 I don't know.

02:07:01.000 Not everybody.

02:07:01.000 Greg Fitzsimmons thinks it's hilarious.

02:07:03.000 He loves watching shitty comedians.

02:07:05.000 But if I watch someone who's bombing, I've got to get the fuck out of the room because I start thinking there's nothing that's funny.

02:07:10.000 Things that are funny don't exist.

02:07:13.000 Because certain people, if you go to open mic nights, there are certain people that are just insane.

02:07:17.000 Do you still go to open mic nights?

02:07:18.000 Yeah, I'll stop by.

02:07:19.000 If I'm in the neighborhood, and if I know, I want to peek in once a year and watch a little bit.

02:07:25.000 Because it's...

02:07:26.000 I want to remember.

02:07:28.000 What it was like.

02:07:29.000 That's where you started, man.

02:07:30.000 It's the fucking wanting to get on stage and seeing the list of people.

02:07:35.000 And in the open mic night at the Comedy Store in particular, the room is well lit.

02:07:38.000 Because they have all the, there's these signatures on the wall of like Robin Williams and famous comedians and Sam Kinison.

02:07:46.000 And those are all neon.

02:07:49.000 So that when the comedians are on stage during open mic night, all that neon is on, and the room is kind of fairly well lit.

02:07:54.000 Right.

02:07:55.000 And then at the end of the stand-up, they're like, okay, no more open mic night, boom.

02:07:59.000 Those lights go off, the room gets dark, and then the pros go up.

02:08:03.000 Oh.

02:08:03.000 And then you see this marked difference in skill and quality of material.

02:08:07.000 Right.

02:08:07.000 And you see, like, real professionals, you know, like Chris D'Aleel, Bill Burr, Chappelle stops in all the time on open mic nights.

02:08:14.000 Yeah.

02:08:14.000 They're no joke, man.

02:08:15.000 Chappelle will just show up at 11 p.m.

02:08:17.000 on a random open mic night and go up.

02:08:21.000 So you get both things.

02:08:22.000 You get to see people that have no idea what the fuck they're doing.

02:08:25.000 You get to see people that have potential.

02:08:27.000 You get to see crazy people that are just insane.

02:08:30.000 And then you get to see world-class comedians in the same night.

02:08:33.000 It's a cool experience at the Comedy Store, like Monday nights.

02:08:36.000 Okay.

02:08:38.000 Check that out.

02:08:38.000 It's awesome.

02:08:39.000 It used to be Sunday and Monday.

02:08:41.000 But then this place started getting too successful.

02:08:43.000 And they cut back on the Sunday night open mic night.

02:08:46.000 It sucks, man.

02:08:46.000 It does suck a little bit.

02:08:48.000 A little bit.

02:08:49.000 Yeah.

02:08:49.000 So you live in a good spot because you're in Boston, and that's like one of the best spots in the world for starting out.

02:08:55.000 I think I have to try it.

02:08:56.000 It's weird because I feel weird because I have a following, and it's like, hey, listen, check me out for comedy.

02:09:01.000 It's like a weird thing.

02:09:02.000 No, they would like it, man.

02:09:03.000 You think so?

02:09:04.000 Fuck yeah.

02:09:05.000 If I'm a fan of your videos, and I am a fan of your videos, so if I was a fan of your videos and I wanted to go see you live at a club, hey, Rich is going to be at this place.

02:09:12.000 Oh, shit, what time?

02:09:13.000 Eight o'clock.

02:09:14.000 Okay, let's go.

02:09:14.000 Yeah.

02:09:15.000 Like, oh, you think it's gonna be funny?

02:09:16.000 I don't know.

02:09:16.000 It seems kind of funny.

02:09:18.000 Yeah.

02:09:20.000 For people to get a chance to see you the first time you ever go on stage, too.

02:09:23.000 And just be prepared to eat shit.

02:09:25.000 Yeah.

02:09:26.000 If you do eat shit, have some stuff to say about eating shit.

02:09:29.000 How do I know I ate shit?

02:09:30.000 You'll feel it.

02:09:31.000 Yeah.

02:09:31.000 Like, oof.

02:09:32.000 Tastes like shit.

02:09:32.000 Yeah.

02:09:33.000 You'll be like...

02:09:33.000 Yeah, it's definitely shit.

02:09:35.000 Thanks for everyone.

02:09:35.000 Have a good night.

02:09:36.000 Yeah.

02:09:38.000 Look, I encourage everyone who thinks they could do it to do it because there's not enough of us and there's only, you know...

02:09:43.000 Is it a dying breed?

02:09:45.000 Is comedy a dying breed?

02:09:46.000 No, I think it's actually on the up right now.

02:09:48.000 I think it's on the upswing quite a bit because I think there's more avenues.

02:09:52.000 There's more clubs to go to.

02:09:54.000 Comedy is more popular than ever.

02:09:56.000 Like, if you go to the Comedy Store tonight, it's sold out.

02:09:58.000 I have a show at the Improv tonight.

02:09:59.000 That's sold out.

02:10:00.000 The places are packed.

02:10:01.000 You have a show tonight?

02:10:02.000 Yeah.

02:10:02.000 And you're here with me?

02:10:04.000 Always.

02:10:04.000 What?

02:10:04.000 I work almost every night, except Sunday and Monday.

02:10:08.000 How much do you sleep?

02:10:09.000 I sleep a good solid seven hours a day.

02:10:10.000 What?

02:10:11.000 Yeah.

02:10:12.000 Why is it hard?

02:10:13.000 It's hard to believe.

02:10:14.000 I feel like I never sleep.

02:10:16.000 I don't know what it is.

02:10:16.000 You don't?

02:10:17.000 You got to.

02:10:17.000 You know what?

02:10:19.000 You're a health guy.

02:10:20.000 How do I get better sleep at night?

02:10:21.000 Melatonin.

02:10:22.000 Really?

02:10:22.000 Take some melatonin.

02:10:23.000 I can't keep doing that, though, forever, can I? It's not bad for you.

02:10:25.000 Really?

02:10:26.000 Yeah.

02:10:27.000 Or, sauna's good.

02:10:29.000 Getting a sauna before you go to bed, it'll make you feel good.

02:10:31.000 But I have to have a sauna.

02:10:32.000 Yeah, that's a problem.

02:10:34.000 You can get one of them sauna suits.

02:10:36.000 You ever seen one of those things?

02:10:36.000 No.

02:10:37.000 Like a sleeping bag.

02:10:39.000 Like an infrared suit.

02:10:40.000 Really?

02:10:40.000 Yeah, they make those.

02:10:42.000 Yeah.

02:10:43.000 So I just go in like a, it's like a water bed, but it's like a bag that I kind of sit in?

02:10:46.000 Like a bag, but it's like a bag of water?

02:10:49.000 It heats up.

02:10:49.000 It's like kind of heavy.

02:10:50.000 Yeah.

02:10:51.000 And it heats up and it's like infrared.

02:10:53.000 It cooks your body.

02:10:54.000 I think I'll be too scared of, you know, like a turkey when I get out of that thing.

02:10:57.000 I think I don't feel that bad.

02:10:58.000 It's not that bad, but it's really good.

02:11:00.000 It makes you feel good when you get out of it.

02:11:01.000 Yeah.

02:11:01.000 A lot of people, it helps them sleep.

02:11:03.000 You have that chamber here that's like a water.

02:11:05.000 Sensory deprivation.

02:11:06.000 What is that?

02:11:07.000 It's an isolation tank.

02:11:08.000 I've heard of it, but what is it?

02:11:11.000 You float.

02:11:12.000 The water has 1,000 pounds of Epsom salts.

02:11:14.000 So as you lie down in that salty water, your body floats.

02:11:19.000 Half of your body is above the water, half is under the water.

02:11:21.000 So your ears are underwater, but everything above your ear is forward on your face.

02:11:25.000 It's just your face.

02:11:26.000 Yeah.

02:11:26.000 And then the water's heated to 94 degrees, which is the same temperature as the surface of your skin.

02:11:31.000 Yeah.

02:11:31.000 And then you shut the door, and you're in total silence and total darkness.

02:11:34.000 You can't see anything.

02:11:35.000 You open your eyes, total blackness.

02:11:37.000 That sounds terrifying.

02:11:39.000 It's not, because you can just open the door anytime you want.

02:11:41.000 A lot of people think that.

02:11:42.000 Like, they get claustrophobic.

02:11:43.000 It feels wonderful.

02:11:45.000 It feels like, first of all, it feels like you're flying.

02:11:47.000 So you lean your arms back, and once you kind of bump into the walls a little bit, you've got to center yourself.

02:11:51.000 And once you center yourself, and then the water stops rippling.

02:11:54.000 Then you just let your arms relax and you just float and it feels like you're flying.

02:11:58.000 Can you fall asleep and die?

02:11:59.000 My biggest concern right now.

02:12:00.000 No!

02:12:01.000 It's only 11 inches of water and you're floating.

02:12:03.000 You can't drown.

02:12:04.000 Unless you flip over face first and you start breathing the water in until you stop.

02:12:08.000 You can just sit up and you're fine.

02:12:10.000 There's no way to drown in it.

02:12:11.000 No one dies.

02:12:12.000 You're fine.

02:12:13.000 You don't have to worry about that.

02:12:14.000 And you're floating.

02:12:15.000 It feels great, man.

02:12:17.000 It feels great and it's very relaxing.

02:12:18.000 So the concentration of salt is what keeps you afloat.

02:12:20.000 Yes.

02:12:21.000 There's a thousand pounds of Epsom salts in that tank.

02:12:23.000 Wow.

02:12:25.000 It's real good for your skin, too.

02:12:27.000 I found out about it first through the movie Altered States.

02:12:32.000 I'd heard about it.

02:12:33.000 It was a movie that was based loosely, very, very loosely, on the legend of this guy named John Lilly.

02:12:39.000 John Lilly is the guy who created this sensory deprivation tank.

02:12:42.000 Do you know who he is?

02:12:42.000 No, I do not.

02:12:43.000 Well, he also was a pioneer in interspecies communication with dolphins.

02:12:47.000 Yeah, he was a scientist.

02:12:48.000 It all comes back to dolphins, doesn't it?

02:12:50.000 For this guy.

02:12:50.000 He gave dolphins acid.

02:12:52.000 He was a part of LSD. Who allows you to do that?

02:12:55.000 Who says you can do that?

02:12:56.000 In the 50s and 60s, you can do whatever the fuck you wanted.

02:12:57.000 They give people acid, you know.

02:12:58.000 Yeah.

02:12:59.000 Well, they actually shut his program down because the woman that he had, he had this woman who was living with a dolphin, and she essentially, half of her apartment was underwater.

02:13:08.000 Like, her house was half submerged, so the dolphin would come in and out of the house and sleep with her and then go into a tank.

02:13:14.000 It was like her husband or something?

02:13:16.000 That was the problem.

02:13:17.000 She was jerking the dolphin off.

02:13:18.000 Oh!

02:13:19.000 Because the dolphin, like, would be distracted all the time.

02:13:21.000 Yeah, but the dolphin stayed.

02:13:22.000 Well, of course.

02:13:23.000 It got jerked off all the time.

02:13:24.000 So they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

02:13:25.000 We're paying for what?

02:13:27.000 They were trying to teach the dolphin a talk.

02:13:29.000 Right.

02:13:29.000 So they were trying to teach the dolphin English words.

02:13:31.000 But the problem was dolphins don't have lips.

02:13:34.000 They can't make the sounds.

02:13:35.000 Yeah, their vocal cords can't make the sounds what we do.

02:13:37.000 So they were trying to get it to go, holla!

02:13:40.000 A lot of work for this a lot of work for hello But it was really obvious that they have some sort of language right and so Lily who is obsessed with it He would set up a sensory deprivation tank right outside the dolphin tank and take acid and Give acid to the dolphins and he was trying to communicate with them.

02:13:56.000 He was trying to communicate with them like in some sort of a Like neighboring dimension, right?

02:14:01.000 He was a trip.

02:14:02.000 I mean that guy he would take intramuscular ketamine and Shoot it into his meat of his body and then lie in the tank and have these crazy ketamine trips while he's in the tank.

02:14:12.000 Why?

02:14:12.000 Well, I don't know because I've never experienced ketamine.

02:14:15.000 But apparently there's something about that particular drug that lends itself very well to the sensory deprivation experience.

02:14:22.000 At least for Lily.

02:14:23.000 It's very addictive too.

02:14:24.000 Then you bought the tank.

02:14:25.000 Well, I heard about that.

02:14:27.000 And then I read a book called The Deep Self.

02:14:29.000 And that was a book that Lily wrote about...

02:14:32.000 I think that one even had instruction on how to build a tank.

02:14:37.000 He actually had set up all these plans for how you...

02:14:44.000 Like a blueprint for how to build your own tank.

02:14:46.000 Use waterbed liners.

02:14:48.000 It's probably pretty easy, right?

02:14:49.000 Get a kiddie pool, throw a liner in it.

02:14:50.000 A bunch of people have done it.

02:14:51.000 A bunch of people have done it.

02:14:52.000 Yeah, you can do it, but you really need...

02:14:56.000 Is there a filter at all?

02:14:58.000 Probably not, right?

02:14:58.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:14:59.000 Very heavy-duty filtration system.

02:15:01.000 Really?

02:15:01.000 Yeah, because the one that I have is, it's a company called the Float Lab, and the Float Lab is, like, the best, they make the best tanks.

02:15:08.000 And the guy who makes it is my friend Crash, and he's, like, a super scientist dude who's, like, a mad genius when it comes to tanks.

02:15:15.000 He's, like, over-engineering everything and making everything, like, as complicated as he can.

02:15:20.000 I didn't realize so much went into it, right?

02:15:21.000 Yeah.

02:15:22.000 I'll show you the whole system.

02:15:23.000 It's like all that stuff that's in the back of it is essentially from a public water purification system.

02:15:28.000 It's super heavy-duty purification.

02:15:32.000 And it even pumps ozone into the water.

02:15:34.000 Oh, no shit.

02:15:34.000 So what do you do when, so let's just say someone were to go in there, right?

02:15:37.000 Yeah.

02:15:38.000 You just had a fight, whatever.

02:15:39.000 You want to relax.

02:15:40.000 You go in there.

02:15:40.000 When the person comes out, does the water change or is it just a filtered system?

02:15:44.000 It's the same water.

02:15:45.000 The water is being filtered.

02:15:46.000 But nobody – the only people that have been in that thing are Dan Harris from Good Morning America and me.

02:15:52.000 Really?

02:15:52.000 Yeah.

02:15:53.000 He's the only one that ever took me up on the offer to climb in there.

02:15:55.000 Most guys go, yeah, yeah, I'll go in there.

02:15:57.000 And then they go, oh, what the fuck am I doing?

02:15:58.000 That's basically what I did.

02:15:59.000 You're like, you should go in.

02:16:00.000 I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

02:16:01.000 Yeah.

02:16:01.000 Awesome.

02:16:02.000 Love you, buddy.

02:16:03.000 Take all your clothes off and climb into my little tank.

02:16:05.000 Literally, yeah.

02:16:06.000 I was stripped naked, Rich.

02:16:07.000 Oh, there's definitely no cameras there.

02:16:09.000 Don't worry about that.

02:16:10.000 How do I know that?

02:16:10.000 Get that out of your head.

02:16:11.000 Yeah.

02:16:11.000 Trust me.

02:16:12.000 But I bet, I guarantee you, Boston.

02:16:14.000 But Google sensory deprivation tanks in Boston.

02:16:18.000 I guarantee you.

02:16:19.000 Oh, it's like a public service thing.

02:16:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:16:21.000 There's a lot of places where you go and you rent them and it's like, you know, 50 bucks for an hour or something like that.

02:16:26.000 That's not bad at all.

02:16:27.000 It's worth it, man.

02:16:28.000 There you go.

02:16:29.000 Float.

02:16:30.000 Restoration therapy.

02:16:31.000 Where's it at?

02:16:32.000 Float Boston.

02:16:33.000 I emerge more relaxed than I ever could.

02:16:35.000 There you go.

02:16:35.000 $80 for 90 minutes.

02:16:37.000 It's in Somerville.

02:16:37.000 On Medford Street in Somerville.

02:16:39.000 There you go.

02:16:40.000 Pa-pow.

02:16:40.000 What if I come out and someone steals my clothes?

02:16:41.000 $80 for 90 minutes.

02:16:43.000 I thought it was a risk, right?

02:16:44.000 Well, I hope not.

02:16:45.000 I hope nobody steals your clothes.

02:16:46.000 Usually, like, you're in a room and you get to lock it.

02:16:49.000 Oh, look at that.

02:16:50.000 It looks so crazy.

02:16:50.000 Do kids do it, too?

02:16:52.000 Is a kid in there?

02:16:53.000 My kids are scared of it, but, yeah, they could do it.

02:16:56.000 That's where, like, they draw the line with Daddy.

02:16:58.000 They're not interested in floating.

02:17:00.000 Wow.

02:17:00.000 They'll eat bear meat, but they won't float.

02:17:02.000 They won't float?

02:17:03.000 Too weird.

02:17:05.000 It feels great, man.

02:17:06.000 I'm telling you.

02:17:07.000 And it's also a great way for your body to absorb magnesium.

02:17:10.000 Because, you know, Epsom salt baths are great when you have sore muscles.

02:17:13.000 Well, when you get into this, this is so much Epsom salt.

02:17:18.000 You float in it, and your muscles loosen up, and it kind of like...

02:17:23.000 Like, all little impingements and tight areas.

02:17:25.000 Oh, that's a tank.

02:17:26.000 Loosen up.

02:17:26.000 Yeah, that's one.

02:17:27.000 It's a little pod.

02:17:28.000 Yours looks like a safe.

02:17:29.000 Yeah, it's much bigger.

02:17:31.000 Yeah.

02:17:31.000 See, this is a...

02:17:32.000 Is there a two-person tank?

02:17:34.000 No.

02:17:34.000 Would you want to go...

02:17:34.000 You can't go with another person, right?

02:17:35.000 No, that would be annoying.

02:17:36.000 If your wife wanted to go, come on, what should we talk about?

02:17:39.000 We're talking about nothing!

02:17:40.000 Yeah, get away from me.

02:17:41.000 We're not here to talk!

02:17:42.000 That's why I'm here, not to talk to you.

02:17:43.000 Okay, before we go into the next dimension, I have to know about the curtains.

02:17:46.000 I have six questions.

02:17:46.000 I want to buy these curtains.

02:17:49.000 Yeah.

02:17:49.000 What is this?

02:17:50.000 Samadhi's new lily pad.

02:17:51.000 A float tank that hides in a daybed.

02:17:53.000 Bam!

02:17:54.000 Samadhi is the company that I bought my first tank from.

02:17:57.000 They make great stuff.

02:17:58.000 So that is...

02:17:59.000 That looks terrifying, though.

02:18:00.000 What if someone's sitting on it and you can't get out?

02:18:02.000 Oh, that's true.

02:18:03.000 Like, hey, really, can you get off this thing?

02:18:04.000 I really want to get out of here.

02:18:05.000 I'm getting scared.

02:18:06.000 Right.

02:18:06.000 Like a fat dude gets drunk and falls asleep on the lid.

02:18:09.000 Yeah.

02:18:11.000 And you run out of air.

02:18:12.000 Like, fuck!

02:18:13.000 Wait, you can't run out of air.

02:18:15.000 There's no air, bro.

02:18:16.000 There's no air in there.

02:18:17.000 What?

02:18:17.000 So eventually you could.

02:18:18.000 No, no.

02:18:18.000 They pump air in there.

02:18:19.000 Don't do this to me.

02:18:21.000 There's actually a variable speed fan in the one that I have that pumps in oxygen.

02:18:25.000 Okay.

02:18:26.000 Purified air.

02:18:27.000 Okay.

02:18:27.000 So it purifies the air and pumps it in there.

02:18:29.000 So not everyone's is that safe, though.

02:18:30.000 No.

02:18:30.000 It's like a sealed system.

02:18:32.000 That one right there, the daybed one, could be a real issue if you had said drunk fat guy.

02:18:37.000 Yeah, Rich, you have 37 minutes of air left.

02:18:40.000 Yeah, it's like an escape room.

02:18:42.000 That's another one.

02:18:43.000 I think I'm in space or something.

02:18:44.000 It has lights on it.

02:18:45.000 What, Jamie?

02:18:45.000 This is what yours looks like, but it has lights.

02:18:47.000 Oh, that's badass.

02:18:48.000 Similar.

02:18:48.000 That's what yours looks like?

02:18:49.000 Sorta.

02:18:49.000 Sorta not.

02:18:50.000 Similar.

02:18:50.000 Fiyo's is like black.

02:18:51.000 It's like, whoa.

02:18:52.000 Mine is the state of the art.

02:18:55.000 You have lights inside of yours?

02:18:56.000 No, there's no lights.

02:18:58.000 I don't need lights, bro.

02:18:59.000 I know what I'm doing.

02:19:01.000 I had one of these in 2002, so I've had one forever.

02:19:05.000 I love them.

02:19:06.000 We should all love them.

02:19:07.000 I think they're one of the best tools ever for thinking.

02:19:10.000 What else is a good thinking tool?

02:19:12.000 Marijuana.

02:19:13.000 Yeah, I heard you like marijuana.

02:19:15.000 Yeah, do you?

02:19:15.000 You know what?

02:19:16.000 I have an interesting thing for you.

02:19:18.000 What do you got?

02:19:18.000 A couple things.

02:19:20.000 So, because I'm on a budget, I lit my job and everything.

02:19:22.000 I stayed at a hostel.

02:19:24.000 Damn!

02:19:24.000 I'm doing some broke people shit, right?

02:19:27.000 You ever stay at a hostel?

02:19:28.000 No, I've never stayed at a hostel.

02:19:49.000 I walked in, and there's a giant bag of marijuana on the table.

02:19:53.000 And I was like, I'm sorry, is someone selling this?

02:19:55.000 Is this?

02:19:56.000 Like, no, it's for you, man.

02:19:57.000 Like, we welcome all our guests like this.

02:19:59.000 You can have as much as you want.

02:20:00.000 I was like, where am I right now?

02:20:04.000 It's crazy.

02:20:05.000 It's crazy shit, man.

02:20:05.000 Dude, I did B-Real's smoke box the other day.

02:20:08.000 Yeah.

02:20:09.000 I think I'm just starting to be not high.

02:20:12.000 Really?

02:20:12.000 From that.

02:20:13.000 From the other day.

02:20:14.000 Is it out?

02:20:15.000 I don't know if he's released it yet.

02:20:16.000 Anyway, they gave me a bag of weed that every time I open up the trunk of my Tesla, it's like, whoa!

02:20:21.000 Went over a skunk?

02:20:23.000 I'm not very familiar with smoking marijuana.

02:20:25.000 I think I've done it like once.

02:20:27.000 You work for the government?

02:20:28.000 I don't know.

02:20:30.000 So I did it like once.

02:20:32.000 And I try to be cool.

02:20:34.000 Like, yeah, you smoke, right?

02:20:34.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah.

02:20:36.000 Who doesn't, right, man?

02:20:38.000 So they offered me this big bag of weed, and I was, like, terrified.

02:20:41.000 You should be.

02:20:42.000 Because the thing is, like, if I try it, I want to be where I'm somewhere safe.

02:20:45.000 I'm not going to do...

02:20:46.000 I mean, it's only marijuana.

02:20:47.000 It's not like, you know...

02:20:48.000 But you don't want to freak out.

02:20:49.000 Right.

02:20:49.000 That could happen.

02:20:50.000 And you should only take a little.

02:20:52.000 Like, if you're going to...

02:20:53.000 This is what you do.

02:20:54.000 You go like this, like this, like...

02:20:56.000 Just a little.

02:20:57.000 Just a touch.

02:21:00.000 There's the smoke box.

02:21:01.000 First of all, be real, smoked me in a coma.

02:21:03.000 I quit maybe five minutes into the smoke box.

02:21:05.000 I was like, what in the fuck am I doing?

02:21:07.000 We got high before we got into the smoke box, too.

02:21:10.000 There's like levels of stoners.

02:21:12.000 So smoke boxes, were you in a car?

02:21:14.000 It was like a dedicated system.

02:21:16.000 That's the car.

02:21:17.000 It's an old Cadillac.

02:21:19.000 Look how barbecued I am.

02:21:20.000 I can't even keep my eyes open.

02:21:21.000 Wait, that's you?

02:21:22.000 Yeah.

02:21:22.000 I'm like, I can't believe he's still smoking.

02:21:24.000 He doesn't even look like you.

02:21:24.000 Exactly.

02:21:25.000 I'm so high, I'm in another dimension.

02:21:26.000 Holy shit.

02:21:27.000 It looks like your freaking great-grandfather or something.

02:21:29.000 Oh, look at me.

02:21:31.000 That's weird lighting.

02:21:34.000 That's crazy.

02:21:35.000 What Be Real does is he gets you in that car, and then everybody has a fat tube, like a big giant joint of the most ridiculous weed on the planet Earth.

02:21:45.000 There's none stronger.

02:21:47.000 So I don't understand.

02:21:48.000 What's the point of having a joint?

02:21:49.000 Just go in the car and get high that way?

02:21:51.000 Everybody's so hot.

02:21:52.000 You can't breathe.

02:21:53.000 There's no air in there.

02:21:54.000 When I got out of there, my inside of my mouth was cooked.

02:21:56.000 If he's never smoked weed, he doesn't understand the hotbox concept.

02:21:59.000 I don't understand.

02:22:00.000 This is all new to me.

02:22:01.000 All that smoke, you're breathing in, right?

02:22:03.000 So you're smoking it, so you're getting high from that.

02:22:05.000 And then you're breathing in other people's smoke.

02:22:07.000 You're getting extra high.

02:22:08.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:22:08.000 There's no air.

02:22:09.000 So why not just go in there and just be like, hey, you know what?

02:22:11.000 I'm just going to sit in here for five minutes and get high and then get out.

02:22:13.000 You'd get high from that.

02:22:14.000 I probably wouldn't get really high from that.

02:22:16.000 I probably would feel it.

02:22:18.000 Do you smoke every day?

02:22:19.000 No.

02:22:20.000 Every other day?

02:22:20.000 No.

02:22:21.000 Sundays only?

02:22:21.000 No.

02:22:22.000 But I've been taking this stuff every day.

02:22:23.000 What is that?

02:22:23.000 It's a DMT? This is CBD with THC. It's 10 milligrams of THC and 10 milligrams of CBD. So it's not a lot of THC, but it's enough.

02:22:34.000 So you just put those pills in your coffee or something?

02:22:36.000 No, just swallow it.

02:22:37.000 It's like a little gel cap.

02:22:39.000 Well, isn't that not fun because you're not smoking it?

02:22:41.000 No, that's what I'm saying.

02:22:42.000 Oh, look at that.

02:22:42.000 It's like a fish oil pill.

02:22:44.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:22:44.000 But it's CBD oil with THC. It's a hemp oil.

02:22:47.000 So you just pop it in.

02:22:49.000 Yeah, just swallow it.

02:22:49.000 No, I take that back.

02:22:50.000 I did have marijuana chocolate.

02:22:53.000 When was this?

02:22:54.000 Yeah, this was like last year.

02:22:56.000 How'd it go?

02:22:57.000 Nothing.

02:22:57.000 It was like nothing.

02:22:58.000 I probably didn't take enough.

02:22:59.000 My friend's like, he didn't take enough.

02:23:00.000 So I had it.

02:23:01.000 Oh, that's the worst.

02:23:02.000 An hour later, this is dumb.

02:23:04.000 I just sat there, got a little high.

02:23:06.000 And I was just like, eh, wore off and went to sleep and it was fine.

02:23:09.000 I didn't take enough.

02:23:10.000 Yeah, you definitely didn't take enough.

02:23:11.000 I was worried the other way.

02:23:13.000 Yeah, I take too much.

02:23:14.000 This is dumb to have like five more pieces of chocolate.

02:23:16.000 Exactly.

02:23:16.000 That's what people do.

02:23:17.000 The worst thing that anybody could ever say when they eat pot is, man, I don't feel shit.

02:23:20.000 This is dumb.

02:23:21.000 And then they take another one.

02:23:22.000 Yeah.

02:23:22.000 And then it kicks in.

02:23:23.000 And then it gets in your DNA. And you're like, oh no.

02:23:26.000 Then your kids are high.

02:23:27.000 And then you're on a ride.

02:23:28.000 You're on a ride for like hours.

02:23:30.000 Really?

02:23:31.000 Oh my god.

02:23:31.000 I have a friend who ate too many edibles and he was high for 27 or 28 hours.

02:23:37.000 Wow.

02:23:37.000 A full day later he was still high and it took like four hours after that.

02:23:41.000 What is this guy doing?

02:23:42.000 What is this guy doing?

02:23:42.000 He's a leaf blower?

02:23:44.000 What is that doing?

02:23:44.000 He's making a giant hotbox out of his tent, but I was just showing you the biggest idea of what it gets and why you would want to do that.

02:23:50.000 See, some stoners like that girl right there, they just get too high.

02:23:55.000 Like me, when I was in the hotbox.

02:23:57.000 So what's too high?

02:23:57.000 It's not good for you.

02:23:58.000 What can you not do?

02:23:59.000 Everything.

02:24:00.000 You can't do anything.

02:24:01.000 You're not even good at talking.

02:24:02.000 So is it like getting drunk?

02:24:04.000 No!

02:24:05.000 No, no, no.

02:24:05.000 You get paranoid.

02:24:06.000 You get freaked out.

02:24:07.000 You think about people you fingered in high school.

02:24:09.000 Oh!

02:24:09.000 You start...

02:24:11.000 You fucking, you comb over everything you've ever done ever that might be even remotely questionable.

02:24:16.000 So why would you want to get high then?

02:24:17.000 Well, I think there's a lot of, first of all, that's too high.

02:24:21.000 That's like paranoia.

02:24:23.000 Yeah.

02:24:23.000 But I think it gives you like a self-examination that I think is probably critical for people to just examine.

02:24:30.000 Like maybe you would be thinking about your life.

02:24:32.000 Yeah.

02:24:32.000 Yeah, it puts you in the zone.

02:24:33.000 Like, if you got high and you started thinking about this job you're quitting, like, why the fuck would I stay with this job?

02:24:38.000 God, I could be here forever.

02:24:39.000 You can start getting paranoid and think about what it's going to be like if I'm 60 years old, I'm still here, and I wish I took a chance, but now it's too late, and I'm tired, and I don't have the energy to do it anymore.

02:24:48.000 Or I left, and now I'm on skid row.

02:24:50.000 Fuck.

02:24:50.000 What'd I do?

02:24:51.000 I don't think like that.

02:24:52.000 Yeah.

02:24:53.000 So you think very positively.

02:24:55.000 Yeah, I think if negative shit happens, like, you should be aware that it can, but to dwell on it, I think, is not empowering at all.

02:25:03.000 I think what's empowering is, like, if you were a person who was 90 years old and you lived a boring-ass, stupid life working at a shitty job, but then someone gave you a chance and said, How would you like to be...

02:25:16.000 You say you're 36?

02:25:18.000 Yeah.

02:25:18.000 How would you like to be 36 again?

02:25:20.000 With vitality and youth and energy and ambition.

02:25:24.000 And you've already got something going on.

02:25:26.000 You've already got a YouTube channel with like 450,000 subscribers.

02:25:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:25:29.000 What would you think...

02:25:30.000 What would you be willing to do to try again?

02:25:32.000 Anything.

02:25:33.000 You say anything.

02:25:34.000 I want to live a fulfilled life, a life that I enjoy.

02:25:38.000 Well, that's you right now.

02:25:39.000 So that's how I look at things.

02:25:41.000 I look at things like, what would I like to be?

02:25:43.000 If I was someone who was broken down and beaten by life and exhausted and I never took any chances, what would I do now?

02:25:52.000 I would say, if I could be that guy that is willing to just try, to just take risks and carve a path for yourself, I would want to be that guy.

02:26:03.000 I would want to live a fulfilled life.

02:26:04.000 Be your future self.

02:26:05.000 Fucking anybody could do that, man.

02:26:06.000 Anybody could do that.

02:26:07.000 That's not...

02:26:08.000 Cost prohibitive.

02:26:09.000 It's dangerous, there's risks, but that's why it's good.

02:26:13.000 Right.

02:26:13.000 If you knew you could, like if you ever play a video game in god mode and just run around shooting everything and you can't die, it's boring.

02:26:19.000 That's dumb.

02:26:20.000 It's boring.

02:26:21.000 What's exciting is you could die.

02:26:22.000 Right.

02:26:23.000 Dying is exciting.

02:26:23.000 Just like real life.

02:26:24.000 Yeah.

02:26:25.000 What's exciting is risk.

02:26:26.000 You don't want to be that guy who's just barely alive, but alive.

02:26:30.000 Right.

02:26:30.000 Fuck that.

02:26:30.000 He's getting by.

02:26:31.000 He's existing.

02:26:32.000 Yeah.

02:26:32.000 I don't want to exist.

02:26:33.000 You're going to live, man.

02:26:34.000 So, we worked it out.

02:26:35.000 You're going to do stand-up?

02:26:36.000 Right.

02:26:37.000 I'm going to go hand-gliding.

02:26:38.000 I want to go hand-gliding.

02:26:39.000 All I want to do right now is just smoke marijuana and then go hand-gliding.

02:26:42.000 Hand-gliding is how one of the greatest jiu-jitsu artists of all time holds Gracie.

02:26:46.000 That's how he died.

02:26:46.000 Really?

02:26:47.000 Yeah, man.

02:26:48.000 He's one of the greatest of all time.

02:26:49.000 But I'm not uplifted anymore, Joe.

02:26:50.000 You told me about this uplifting thing and dying.

02:26:53.000 What the hell is going on here?

02:26:56.000 There's no reward.

02:26:56.000 If you land, oh great, you're still alive.

02:26:58.000 There's no reward.

02:26:59.000 Well, you got to almost die flying around.

02:27:01.000 But now I'm confused.

02:27:04.000 Dude, slam into a cliff, bro.

02:27:06.000 But wait a minute, but you just said that it's an exciting thing.

02:27:08.000 You could almost die.

02:27:10.000 If you quit your job and then you take a path that you may or may not succeed on, if you do succeed, you're going to feel invigorated.

02:27:19.000 You took a chance and you won.

02:27:20.000 It's like an adrenaline rush in a way.

02:27:22.000 I saw this, right?

02:27:23.000 Oh no!

02:27:24.000 What happened?

02:27:24.000 Is this a mishap?

02:27:25.000 Oh no!

02:27:27.000 Just watch for a second.

02:27:28.000 See what you think is wrong here in the first 10 seconds.

02:27:31.000 I can't show this to everybody.

02:27:33.000 Online people know what's up.

02:27:35.000 Oh my god, he's not attached.

02:27:37.000 I'll just wait.

02:27:38.000 Who's in charge here?

02:27:39.000 The guy in the blue.

02:27:40.000 He's the leader guy.

02:27:42.000 And good luck here.

02:27:45.000 Oh, crap.

02:27:46.000 They are flying, and he is holding on tight.

02:27:49.000 By her neck.

02:27:50.000 And they are very high.

02:27:51.000 Oh, my God.

02:27:51.000 And they're going higher.

02:27:52.000 Oh, my God.

02:27:53.000 Just to be clear, this is a very...

02:27:55.000 This lasts four minutes.

02:27:57.000 This is like a...

02:27:58.000 This lasts four minutes?

02:27:59.000 Yeah.

02:27:59.000 First of all...

02:28:00.000 Look at this.

02:28:00.000 Turn around.

02:28:01.000 Do you know how...

02:28:02.000 Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold on...

02:28:05.000 Yes.

02:28:06.000 For two minutes.

02:28:06.000 For four minutes.

02:28:07.000 Yeah.

02:28:07.000 Even two minutes is hard.

02:28:08.000 How did this guy do this?

02:28:10.000 How did he manage to hang on?

02:28:12.000 Look.

02:28:12.000 I don't know.

02:28:13.000 Like, they're...

02:28:14.000 The person in blue is holding on.

02:28:16.000 He's got one hand on him.

02:28:18.000 I would do a pull-up and I say this now.

02:28:20.000 I do a pull-up and get my arm over it.

02:28:22.000 He might not be able to.

02:28:23.000 The drag of the wind.

02:28:24.000 How does he hang on?

02:28:27.000 Oh my god.

02:28:28.000 Make it down to the bottom.

02:28:29.000 It is amazing.

02:28:30.000 His grip strength is incredible.

02:28:31.000 Dude, his forearm is supposed to be huge, man.

02:28:33.000 His grip strength is incredible.

02:28:35.000 And he let go.

02:28:35.000 What a chicken.

02:28:36.000 He couldn't wait until he got to the actual ground.

02:28:38.000 He probably couldn't.

02:28:39.000 I'm just kidding.

02:28:39.000 Well, I don't even think the guy even really landed.

02:28:42.000 This is a very high-definition video.

02:28:43.000 What was it taking on?

02:28:44.000 Fuck.

02:28:44.000 What's a GoPro?

02:28:45.000 Powerful GoPro.

02:28:46.000 Wow.

02:28:47.000 Proper way to land.

02:28:48.000 Dick first.

02:28:48.000 Fuck that, sport.

02:28:50.000 Fuck that.

02:28:50.000 What if you hit a rock?

02:28:51.000 The lock scrams.

02:28:53.000 Back up?

02:28:54.000 Surgery to fix his wrist.

02:28:55.000 What does he say?

02:28:56.000 Upon impact, my right wrist suffered a fragmented distal radius fracture, which required surgery.

02:29:01.000 Damn, son.

02:29:01.000 He got left.

02:29:02.000 Yeah, but that's the thing.

02:29:03.000 So, like, he took a risk, but, like, there's a reward.

02:29:05.000 The reward's like that adrenaline rush.

02:29:06.000 That's an asshole.

02:29:07.000 People go hand gliding and stuff, like hand gliding, parasailing, all the water sports.

02:29:12.000 Yeah, you get a little bit of an adrenaline rush.

02:29:14.000 You know?

02:29:14.000 I mean, if you want to live for that little drug, the little adrenaline drug, go ahead.

02:29:18.000 What if you went hunting, right?

02:29:20.000 Mm-hmm.

02:29:22.000 Oh, he also tore his bicep tending from holding on as long as he did.

02:29:25.000 Wow.

02:29:26.000 Damn.

02:29:28.000 Stay alive.

02:29:29.000 Yeah.

02:29:29.000 Face something tomorrow?

02:29:31.000 Wow.

02:29:31.000 Jeez.

02:29:32.000 Fuck.

02:29:33.000 So, what if you went hunting, right?

02:29:35.000 And you didn't kill anything?

02:29:36.000 Is it still fun?

02:29:36.000 Happens all the time.

02:29:37.000 Yeah.

02:29:38.000 Sure.

02:29:38.000 So, it's the thought that you might catch something.

02:29:41.000 Well, it's not even that.

02:29:42.000 You don't say catch.

02:29:43.000 Oh, sorry.

02:29:43.000 You just kill something.

02:29:44.000 Destroy something.

02:29:45.000 No, no.

02:29:45.000 Hunt.

02:29:46.000 End something's life.

02:29:47.000 Well, if you run and water it down, they call it harvest.

02:29:49.000 Really?

02:29:49.000 They're harvesting.

02:29:50.000 Harvesting it out.

02:29:51.000 They actually do.

02:29:52.000 Bro, it's not a pumpkin.

02:29:53.000 Yeah.

02:29:53.000 It's a fucking deer.

02:29:54.000 It's a freaking deer, asshole.

02:29:55.000 You killed it.

02:29:55.000 Stop playing.

02:29:56.000 Yeah.

02:29:56.000 Yeah, I mean, it's difficult to do.

02:29:57.000 But if you do, that's one of the reasons why when you do do it, it feels like you accomplished something.

02:30:02.000 Right.

02:30:03.000 Yeah, so that's the positive aspect of it.

02:30:05.000 The positive aspect of it is that there's a reward if you can pull it off.

02:30:09.000 Not just that you, like, survive.

02:30:10.000 Like, I want to go running with the bulls.

02:30:12.000 Fuck you!

02:30:12.000 Yeah, I lived.

02:30:13.000 Awesome.

02:30:14.000 Yeah, I guess that's a good point to think about it.

02:30:16.000 Rollercoasters.

02:30:17.000 I like roller coasters, but I have kids.

02:30:18.000 Okay.

02:30:19.000 I like roller coasters for my kids.

02:30:20.000 It was just for me.

02:30:21.000 I wouldn't go to the fucking Disneyland.

02:30:23.000 But you like them because of your- My kids like it.

02:30:26.000 So I guess why do people- They love it.

02:30:26.000 That's why people like that.

02:30:27.000 They like roller coasters because it's like an adrenaline rush.

02:30:29.000 Yeah.

02:30:29.000 It gives you a little adrenaline rush.

02:30:31.000 Yeah.

02:30:31.000 I feel uncomfortable because I feel like if I die, this would be so stupid.

02:30:35.000 I didn't need to do this.

02:30:36.000 Right.

02:30:37.000 But I did this for a cheap thrill and it broke and I went flying off into the fucking street.

02:30:40.000 Yeah, good point.

02:30:41.000 Good point, yeah.

02:30:43.000 You know those weird carnivals that pull up in your neighborhood?

02:30:47.000 Oh, God.

02:30:47.000 The townie, hokey-looking ones?

02:30:49.000 You pull up in six trucks, and it unfolds as a checker's board.

02:30:53.000 Dude, one of them came to my neighborhood, and they had this fucking thing where you spin around really fast, you stick to the wall.

02:30:59.000 Not for a pop-up car.

02:31:00.000 I took pictures of the way it was set up.

02:31:02.000 I think it's on Instagram.

02:31:03.000 You probably won't be able to find it.

02:31:04.000 I took pictures, this was like years ago, of the way this thing was on five or six different two-by-fours.

02:31:11.000 It was on blocks and shit.

02:31:13.000 It was so wonky.

02:31:15.000 And people were climbing in there, oh boy, this is great!

02:31:17.000 I feel like your chances of dying at those things are like 98% higher.

02:31:21.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:31:21.000 There's the picture.

02:31:21.000 Whoa!

02:31:22.000 How dare you find that so quickly?

02:31:24.000 How'd you find that?

02:31:25.000 I'm a Google master.

02:31:26.000 That's pretty damn good.

02:31:27.000 You're a Google master.

02:31:28.000 But look at that thing.

02:31:29.000 Look how stupid that is.

02:31:30.000 So you can see the stacks of wood?

02:31:32.000 That is so goddamn dumb.

02:31:33.000 That's hokey as hell, man.

02:31:34.000 That's hokey as hell!

02:31:35.000 They have to do that to balance it out because they put that fucking thing on a hill.

02:31:39.000 So what were you doing there?

02:31:41.000 Your kids were on that?

02:31:42.000 No, I didn't let them get on that thing.

02:31:43.000 For shame.

02:31:44.000 I didn't let them get on that thing.

02:31:45.000 But, you know, you squirt the fucking gun, the clown face, and the balloon pops, and you win a stupid prize.

02:31:50.000 What would you nail at one of those carnivals?

02:31:53.000 What do you, like, kill every time?

02:31:54.000 I'm not good at anything.

02:31:55.000 Yeah, neither am I. It's said to be against you.

02:31:57.000 It sucks.

02:31:58.000 So I want to bring it back to Aliens.

02:31:59.000 Yeah, yeah, God, yeah, please.

02:32:00.000 We've got to wrap this up.

02:32:01.000 It's already 3 o'clock.

02:32:01.000 Please, please, please, yeah.

02:32:02.000 We've been doing this for three hours, man.

02:32:03.000 Are you shitting me?

02:32:04.000 Yeah.

02:32:05.000 What?

02:32:05.000 Yeah, for real.

02:32:06.000 Damn.

02:32:07.000 All right.

02:32:08.000 If the aliens came to you and said, Rich, we're going to give you this technology and information, but you can't tell anyone else, would you be willing to?

02:32:17.000 What technology?

02:32:18.000 What if the government brings you to Area 51 like Bob Lazar?

02:32:21.000 And they bring you down to the base.

02:32:23.000 Yeah.

02:32:23.000 And they show you an alien spacecraft and they go, we're going to let you examine this.

02:32:27.000 We know that you love to tinker and back-engineer things, but you can't tell anybody.

02:32:30.000 Are you in?

02:32:31.000 I do it in a heartbeat.

02:32:32.000 Why the hell not?

02:32:33.000 Because you owe us the rest of the human race.

02:32:36.000 Like these fucking assholes in the government, they're going to keep you from telling us the truth?

02:32:40.000 Yeah.

02:32:40.000 Don't you think it would affect the whole world if we knew the truth?

02:32:43.000 Honestly, I'd probably tell everyone anyways, because the fact that they called the Tesla guy to go down there, of course you're going to rat them out.

02:32:48.000 Well, that's who I would call.

02:32:49.000 If I was the government, I wouldn't call some respectable scientist from Stanford.

02:32:53.000 I would call some dude who would be easily discredited.

02:32:58.000 Some guy who maybe is a little fudgy with his science reports.

02:33:04.000 Suspicious.

02:33:05.000 Maybe plagiarized a little bit in college, but he knows his shit.

02:33:08.000 That's me, yeah.

02:33:09.000 That's funny.

02:33:11.000 No, I would go with some guy who's, what is that, autodactic?

02:33:16.000 Is that the word?

02:33:17.000 Someone learns themselves?

02:33:19.000 Is that what the word is?

02:33:20.000 Yeah, whatever.

02:33:21.000 There's a lot, right?

02:33:22.000 Is that the word?

02:33:23.000 Yeah.

02:33:23.000 There's a lot of geniuses out there that just don't have the credentials.

02:33:26.000 Very smart people.

02:33:27.000 Autodidact, yes.

02:33:28.000 Yeah, autodidact.

02:33:29.000 Take that guy.

02:33:30.000 Take that guy.

02:33:31.000 Would you do that?

02:33:32.000 No, I'd tell everybody.

02:33:33.000 Why?

02:33:33.000 100%.

02:33:34.000 Why would you?

02:33:34.000 Because I wouldn't trust those assholes.

02:33:36.000 You don't owe anyone anything.

02:33:37.000 Because I would want everyone to know.

02:33:39.000 What are they going to do with it?

02:33:40.000 They're just going to freak out.

02:33:40.000 I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

02:33:42.000 Really?

02:33:42.000 100%.

02:33:43.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 If the government wants to tell me some secrets, let me tell you something.

02:33:45.000 I'll tell everybody.

02:33:46.000 Yeah.

02:33:47.000 Would you say that first?

02:33:48.000 I would definitely tell them I'm telling everybody.

02:33:50.000 Really?

02:33:51.000 I would say don't show it to me.

02:33:52.000 Really?

02:33:53.000 Yeah.

02:33:53.000 I would say don't show it to me.

02:33:54.000 But that's not progressing the human race forward.

02:33:57.000 Because the goal is for you to see it and confirm it.

02:34:00.000 Right?

02:34:00.000 You want to see it, confirm it, and tell everyone.

02:34:02.000 What are you going to say?

02:34:03.000 I don't want to die.

02:34:05.000 Right?

02:34:05.000 And I don't want them to kill me.

02:34:06.000 So I would say, listen.

02:34:07.000 They wouldn't kill you for that.

02:34:09.000 Maybe people have died already and we don't know.

02:34:11.000 Damn.

02:34:12.000 It's deep.

02:34:12.000 Maybe, bro.

02:34:13.000 Yeah.

02:34:13.000 Look into it.

02:34:18.000 I don't know.

02:34:18.000 It would be a thing where, in all honesty, it depends on what stage of my life.

02:34:24.000 If I was 30 years old and they said, I'm going to show you this, but you can't show anybody, are you willing?

02:34:28.000 I'd be like, yeah, sure, show me.

02:34:30.000 But at 50, I'd be like, no.

02:34:34.000 No, I'm not making any deals.

02:34:36.000 I don't want to make a deal where you tell me that I can't tell anybody about something.

02:34:40.000 I mean, it's one thing if it's a business thing.

02:34:42.000 Like, hey, Apple's going to show you the new iPhone, don't tell anybody.

02:34:45.000 Oh, for sure, I won't tell anybody.

02:34:46.000 Fine.

02:34:47.000 This is something that can affect the human race.

02:34:49.000 How would the confirmation of aliens affect the human race, you think?

02:34:54.000 Like, yes, there are aliens.

02:34:55.000 Now what?

02:34:56.000 What are we going to do?

02:34:56.000 Realistically, you would have to have confirmation that was undeniable.

02:35:02.000 And your own eyewitness testimony is not good enough.

02:35:04.000 They'll just think you're crazy.

02:35:05.000 They'll shoot you anyways.

02:35:06.000 Exactly.

02:35:06.000 They'll just think you're a fool.

02:35:07.000 And they'll just make you look like a dunce.

02:35:09.000 And it would actually probably help their cause.

02:35:12.000 Right.

02:35:12.000 Because no one would ever believe you.

02:35:14.000 And no one would take aliens seriously after that.

02:35:17.000 Which is one of the arguments for what they actually did with Project Blue Book.

02:35:21.000 Yeah.

02:35:22.000 There was a guy named Philip Corso, and J. Allen Hynek was the guy who was running Project Blue Book.

02:35:29.000 And one of the things they famously said after it was over, that they would just try to debunk things and make these things look foolish.

02:35:36.000 And then anything they found that they couldn't explain, they just tucked away.

02:35:40.000 But the things that they could explain, even if the explanation didn't jive, they came up with an explanation just to make people realize that aliens were bullshit.

02:35:50.000 But he, through the course of Project Blue Book, studying...

02:35:53.000 Now you have to ask this question.

02:35:56.000 Through the end of it, he decided that aliens were real and that we had been contacted.

02:36:00.000 However, you always have to question whether someone is doing that because this is a new avenue for them to make money.

02:36:10.000 Is this a new stream of revenue?

02:36:12.000 I'm going to do the lecture circuit.

02:36:13.000 I'm going to write books.

02:36:14.000 I mean, if you're a guy who worked for Project Blue Book and then they shut Project Blue Book down, you don't have any more money.

02:36:19.000 Yeah, you're broke.

02:36:19.000 And you decide, well, I don't want to work for the government anymore.

02:36:22.000 You know what I want to do?

02:36:22.000 I want to write stories about UFOs.

02:36:24.000 I'm going to start a podcast.

02:36:25.000 Fuck these assholes.

02:36:26.000 I mean, J. Allen Hynek died a long time ago, I believe, right?

02:36:31.000 Google J. Allen Hynek Project Blue Book UFOs.

02:36:35.000 I'm pretty sure there's interviews where afterwards he said he is sure, after all of his time studying, that there is and has been some contact with extraterrestrials.

02:36:47.000 So what do you think?

02:36:48.000 I don't know.

02:36:49.000 See, me personally, I have zero experience, right?

02:36:52.000 Who does have experience?

02:36:54.000 Someone might.

02:36:55.000 What do you got?

02:36:56.000 What are you laughing at?

02:36:56.000 Man, I don't want to talk about it yet.

02:36:58.000 You don't want to talk about it yet?

02:36:59.000 I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

02:37:00.000 Stuff I've been looking into about this topic.

02:37:02.000 This guy worked at that company I've told you about.

02:37:05.000 In Columbus, Ohio?

02:37:07.000 Yeah.

02:37:07.000 He also is a teacher of physics and astronomy at Ohio State in 1936. So you think there's some real shit going down?

02:37:13.000 Maybe.

02:37:13.000 You think some real shit's going down?

02:37:15.000 I don't know about all the alien technologies or beings or aliens or something.

02:37:21.000 There's something going on, and it has to do with that company, and it has to do with everything you're talking about in Project Blue Book.

02:37:27.000 I don't know what it is, though.

02:37:28.000 That's very vague.

02:37:29.000 I know.

02:37:29.000 Super vague.

02:37:30.000 Yeah, something's going on, guys.

02:37:32.000 I can't, because to me it doesn't seem fair to just go with the big conspiracy, but there are facts that you can look up and find.

02:37:38.000 So once you get to the bottom of your investigation, you'll have a report for it?

02:37:42.000 Sure, yeah.

02:37:42.000 We'll talk to you.

02:37:44.000 I'm not ready to, because it sounds a little too crazy right now.

02:37:46.000 I want to leave some of the crazy stuff out.

02:37:48.000 Yeah, it's one of those subjects that inherently starts looking crazy until aliens show up.

02:37:54.000 What was that movie?

02:37:55.000 What was the recent movie where they spoke in smoke?

02:38:00.000 Oh, God.

02:38:02.000 Arrival.

02:38:04.000 Arrival.

02:38:05.000 If something like that shows up.

02:38:07.000 Then, all of a sudden, our perceptions completely change.

02:38:10.000 It's like, oh, wait.

02:38:10.000 It's undeniable.

02:38:11.000 There's, like, some giant Los Angeles-sized thing floating over the continental U.S. Yeah.

02:38:17.000 We'd be like, okay.

02:38:19.000 All right.

02:38:19.000 So, how's the thing?

02:38:19.000 So, why would you...

02:38:20.000 So, if we...

02:38:21.000 Let's just say we had a microscope, right?

02:38:23.000 Periscope or whatever.

02:38:24.000 Whatever you call it.

02:38:25.000 Look in the space really far.

02:38:26.000 Telescope.

02:38:26.000 Telescope, yeah.

02:38:27.000 Periscope.

02:38:27.000 If I wasn't a submarine...

02:38:29.000 We all live.

02:38:31.000 So...

02:38:31.000 And we see an alien, you know, colony.

02:38:35.000 Yes.

02:38:35.000 Unlike Mars.

02:38:36.000 Yes.

02:38:36.000 What would we do?

02:38:37.000 We'd study it.

02:38:38.000 We'd try to communicate with it.

02:38:40.000 But would that be a good move?

02:38:41.000 Like, what if they came over to us and they'll go, oh, look at these fucking dumb chimps.

02:38:44.000 Do you think any foreign or alien species would think we're idiots?

02:38:51.000 A hundred percent of them would think we're idiots.

02:38:53.000 Yeah, if they're advanced to the point where they've gotten control of their emotions and anger.

02:38:57.000 I mean, just think about how much tribal warfare goes on still in America, in the world.

02:39:03.000 You know, how much...

02:39:05.000 How warfare is taking place?

02:39:06.000 How many people are dying?

02:39:07.000 How many innocent people are dying?

02:39:09.000 Drones, all that kind of stuff.

02:39:10.000 They'd be aware of all that.

02:39:11.000 They'd be aware of our polluting of the environment.

02:39:13.000 They'd be aware of our depleting the ocean of its fish.

02:39:17.000 They're just pulling in giant nets filled with fish.

02:39:19.000 A caching fish medium.

02:39:20.000 What the fuck are you people doing?

02:39:22.000 They'd be looking at coal plants and the President of the United States, the greatest superpower the world has ever known, saying things like, clean coal.

02:39:28.000 Like, clean coal!

02:39:30.000 What do you think?

02:39:31.000 Okay, so someone comes to visit us, right?

02:39:33.000 What's the dumbest thing that they're going to notice the first?

02:39:35.000 They can say, oh wow, this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

02:39:37.000 What's the number one thing?

02:39:39.000 You visit our planet, the number one dumbest thing they're going to see and be like...

02:39:42.000 They're probably going to think pollution is the number one dumbest.

02:39:45.000 Like, you guys are shitting in the environment that you need to sustain you.

02:39:49.000 Right.

02:39:50.000 And you're doing this in...

02:39:52.000 It's not like you don't have the resources to fix that.

02:39:55.000 With infinite money.

02:39:56.000 Yeah, we have incredible amounts of money, but yet the money's not going towards that.

02:40:01.000 Massive resources should be going to removing carbon from the atmosphere, removing particulates from the atmosphere.

02:40:08.000 Yeah, like brake dust and all the shit that's in these cities.

02:40:11.000 These cars are constantly slamming on their brakes.

02:40:14.000 That dust that you have to clean off your wheels, that shit's everywhere.

02:40:17.000 Yeah, right.

02:40:17.000 It's in your lungs, baby.

02:40:18.000 It's fucking everywhere.

02:40:19.000 It takes years off people's lives.

02:40:21.000 It absolutely does.

02:40:22.000 They would look at all that.

02:40:23.000 They would go, why aren't they looking at that?

02:40:25.000 Why don't they have some sort of system in place to mitigate all the problems they've created in terms of like, oh, they got rid of plastic straws.

02:40:34.000 Right, yeah.

02:40:35.000 Keep the caps, though.

02:40:37.000 Keep the bottles.

02:40:37.000 The caps are fine.

02:40:38.000 Keep the tabs that you pull off of things.

02:40:41.000 Keep plastic wrap.

02:40:43.000 Everything's plastic.

02:40:43.000 What do you think of those new disintegrating straws, by the way?

02:40:46.000 Ridiculous.

02:40:46.000 It's like...

02:40:47.000 I want to keep around a stainless steel one.

02:40:50.000 You should.

02:40:50.000 But you have to clean it, though.

02:40:51.000 I was thinking about that same thing.

02:40:52.000 You can just stab somebody if somebody attacks you.

02:40:54.000 If you get one that's got a good point.

02:40:55.000 Sharper in the end?

02:40:56.000 Yeah.

02:40:56.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

02:40:57.000 Did I stab your throat?

02:40:57.000 Just punch a hole through them like that Walking Dead crossbow bolt.

02:41:01.000 Yeah.

02:41:02.000 Yeah.

02:41:03.000 I think that's the big one that they would get.

02:41:06.000 They would go, wow, these people are crazy.

02:41:08.000 The other thing they would say is the nuclear power thing.

02:41:10.000 When you find out things like the Fukushima plant, they didn't have any sort of backup plan to shut it down.

02:41:17.000 You don't know what happens if your generator goes out.

02:41:19.000 Oh, well, we're fucked.

02:41:20.000 Now it's a nuclear meltdown and everything dies forever.

02:41:24.000 Yeah, they didn't plan on that.

02:41:26.000 Like, the fact that they built these plants and they have no idea how to shut them off.

02:41:30.000 Like, that's crazy.

02:41:31.000 The aliens are probably like, these people are out of their fucking mind.

02:41:34.000 They're smart enough to figure out how to harness nuclear power.

02:41:36.000 But what they use it for is to generate steam.

02:41:40.000 Constant.

02:41:40.000 And it has to stay on forever.

02:41:42.000 That's why they put them near the oceans.

02:41:43.000 Like, these guys are assholes.

02:41:44.000 It doesn't make any sense.

02:41:45.000 Yeah.

02:41:46.000 The other thing, too, is that how would you...

02:41:49.000 Let's just say things are going to shit really quickly.

02:41:52.000 Right.

02:41:52.000 There's a nuclear power plant that's going to blow up any second.

02:41:55.000 Any second.

02:41:55.000 How would you...

02:41:58.000 I know you're an outdoorsy guy.

02:42:00.000 You hunt.

02:42:00.000 You kill.

02:42:02.000 Harvest, as they say.

02:42:03.000 How long do you think you could survive if things went to shit really quickly?

02:42:07.000 If you had to survive, you have all the money you want, right?

02:42:11.000 But how long do you think you could survive in the wilderness?

02:42:14.000 It would be very hard.

02:42:15.000 It's not easy.

02:42:17.000 And not only that, you've got to get through the winter.

02:42:19.000 So you're going to have to build some sort of a shelter.

02:42:21.000 There's no winter here, though, is there?

02:42:24.000 I mean, not in LA, but in Big Bear, which is only a couple hours north of here.

02:42:30.000 I mean, there's plenty of places where you could drive in a couple hours.

02:42:32.000 You could go to Big Bear, and then you can go down to the beach.

02:42:35.000 You could experience the desert.

02:42:37.000 You could experience a lot of different climates.

02:42:39.000 It would really depend upon where you were stuck and what you would eat.

02:42:43.000 So the thing is, if you want to stay in the L.A. area, you're dead.

02:42:46.000 Because you're not going to be able to eat shit.

02:42:48.000 There's nothing here.

02:42:48.000 Would you stay in your house?

02:42:49.000 Would you migrate?

02:42:50.000 You have kids and a wife.

02:42:51.000 Yeah, you've got to get out of here.

02:42:52.000 So you'd leave.

02:42:52.000 You'd drive your Tesla.

02:42:53.000 Right.

02:42:54.000 Which car would you take?

02:42:54.000 No way.

02:42:55.000 What?

02:42:56.000 No way.

02:42:56.000 There was a big debate that I had.

02:42:58.000 In a crisis situation, right?

02:43:00.000 Uh-huh.

02:43:00.000 Would you take the Tesla?

02:43:01.000 No.

02:43:02.000 What would you take?

02:43:03.000 I have a Toyota Land Cruiser with a 40-gallon gas tank.

02:43:07.000 I got an apocalypse mobile.

02:43:09.000 I went through a big debate.

02:43:11.000 I got shit on so much for this.

02:43:13.000 I said the same exact thing.

02:43:14.000 I was like, listen, in an oh shit situation, I would leave the Tesla behind.

02:43:18.000 Who argued with you about that?

02:43:20.000 A lot of people.

02:43:21.000 I would leave that behind.

02:43:22.000 I'd take my pickup truck.

02:43:23.000 Yeah.

02:43:24.000 Or Tacoma.

02:43:24.000 That's what you do.

02:43:25.000 I fill it with gas.

02:43:25.000 I just drive.

02:43:26.000 100%.

02:43:26.000 Well, you know, in an emergency crisis situation, you don't have access to the gas.

02:43:31.000 What if the gasoline didn't work?

02:43:33.000 You go to the liquor store, you fill it up with alcohol.

02:43:35.000 Remember we had the hurricane in Florida a while back?

02:43:38.000 Now, everyone was saying, like, yeah, the gas pumps wouldn't work because the electricity was shut off.

02:43:43.000 Mm-hmm.

02:43:44.000 But the superchargers still work, and you can get to your destination still, and Tesla's used less energy.

02:43:49.000 It's like, at the end of the day, I happen to pick up a truck with two shotguns and five things of gasoline and be fine.

02:43:54.000 I don't understand that.

02:43:55.000 Yeah, they also make tanks that you can put in your gas tank, in the bed of your truck, rather, that are like these survival tanks.

02:44:02.000 You can drive as far as you want, 800 miles.

02:44:04.000 Yeah, and more.

02:44:05.000 And you drive thousands of miles.

02:44:07.000 There's a guy who actually, there was a podcast that I was listening to, this guy who is like an extreme prepper.

02:44:15.000 And he actually made a trip with one tank of gas from Arizona to Canada.

02:44:21.000 Damn!

02:44:22.000 He drove all the way up to Canada, all the way across, with one tank of gas.

02:44:26.000 Because this massive tank in the back of his pickup truck...

02:44:30.000 It feeds directly into his primary gas tank.

02:44:33.000 Yeah.

02:44:33.000 Yeah, and you can get these.

02:44:35.000 They're like these survival tanks.

02:44:36.000 And, you know, they'll host like hundreds of gallons of fuel.

02:44:39.000 But you're also a target.

02:44:40.000 Oh, yeah.

02:44:40.000 I'd probably shoot at that guy's car.

02:44:42.000 That's the other thing, too.

02:44:43.000 Why would you do that?

02:44:43.000 I don't know.

02:44:44.000 All of a sudden, you're lawless.

02:44:45.000 See what happens?

02:44:46.000 You become a barbarian.

02:44:47.000 I know.

02:44:47.000 The lights go off for five minutes.

02:44:48.000 I want to kill everyone.

02:44:49.000 You're starting fires.

02:44:50.000 Shooting cars.

02:44:52.000 Yeah.

02:44:52.000 So then, all right.

02:44:53.000 So you leave.

02:44:54.000 You take your family, right?

02:44:55.000 You have your kids.

02:44:56.000 You have your wife.

02:44:56.000 Where are you going to go?

02:44:57.000 You hop in your Land Cruiser.

02:44:58.000 Where are you going to go?

02:44:59.000 You have a real problem.

02:45:00.000 And what are you going to bring?

02:45:01.000 Well, you would have to bring things to start a fire and things to kill animals.

02:45:06.000 Those are the things that would be very important.

02:45:08.000 I would bring guns.

02:45:11.000 I'd bring bows.

02:45:12.000 I'd bring ammunition and arrows.

02:45:14.000 But I would realistically realize that, first of all, I'm not going to make more bullets and I'm not going to make more arrows.

02:45:20.000 What am I going to do and how long am I going to last?

02:45:22.000 Would you bring marijuana?

02:45:23.000 No.

02:45:23.000 Okay.

02:45:24.000 No.

02:45:25.000 No, I'd be just trying to stay alive.

02:45:26.000 Yeah.

02:45:27.000 But you'd also be trying to stay alive for a long period of time.

02:45:29.000 Right.

02:45:29.000 You might want to bring it.

02:45:30.000 No.

02:45:31.000 Use the pain.

02:45:31.000 No, really?

02:45:32.000 What?

02:45:33.000 No.

02:45:33.000 It's not going to eat.

02:45:34.000 I mean, marijuana for pain relief, I mean, I guess it works.

02:45:37.000 Yeah.

02:45:38.000 But that's not what I use it for.

02:45:39.000 Pain at night of the impending doom.

02:45:42.000 Yeah.

02:45:42.000 Yeah, you'd be freaking out even more.

02:45:43.000 I'm freaking out plenty.

02:45:45.000 Yeah.

02:45:45.000 Maybe, I mean, I just, there's no, there's not room.

02:45:48.000 I would bring water purification tablets.

02:45:51.000 No food, though.

02:45:51.000 I'd bring filters.

02:45:52.000 You canned food?

02:45:53.000 I would bring food.

02:45:54.000 I'd probably bring food in the form of heavy-duty bars that don't take up a lot of space but are dense and nutrient-rich like those green belly bars.

02:46:04.000 Protein bars.

02:46:05.000 Yeah, something that has a lot of calories, high calories, in a small package, a small size.

02:46:10.000 All right.

02:46:11.000 Where are you heading?

02:46:12.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:46:12.000 Going to the woods.

02:46:14.000 Yeah, you gotta go somewhere where there's animals.

02:46:16.000 And even then, you're not gonna make it, and your kids are probably not gonna make it.

02:46:19.000 That's the real thing is, it's true.

02:46:21.000 The idea that you're gonna live off of animals, this isn't the Serengeti, man.

02:46:25.000 There's not a lot of animals.

02:46:26.000 Unless you're somewhere where you can find a lot of fucking animals.

02:46:30.000 Right, like rabbits and shit, right?

02:46:31.000 Yeah, and you gotta keep them, like, you're gonna have to kill them every other day, because they're not gonna last with the heat.

02:46:36.000 And your kids aren't going to eat a dead rabbit for sure.

02:46:38.000 They'll eat a dead rabbit.

02:46:40.000 Really?

02:46:40.000 Yeah, they'll eat a rabbit.

02:46:41.000 Yeah, my kids will eat pretty much anything.

02:46:43.000 Do you know how to start a fire?

02:46:44.000 Yes.

02:46:45.000 Really?

02:46:45.000 Yeah, but it's not easy.

02:46:46.000 No, it's not.

02:46:47.000 If you have a string and a bow and two pieces of dried wood and, you know, hardwood and a softer wood, you can do it.

02:46:54.000 You can do it.

02:46:55.000 But it ain't easy.

02:46:56.000 Like starting a bow with one of those...

02:46:58.000 Yeah, no.

02:46:59.000 It takes a little while.

02:47:02.000 Really?

02:47:03.000 But it's not easy.

02:47:04.000 You're better off with a flint.

02:47:05.000 If you have a flint and a piece of metal, you can start a fire pretty easy.

02:47:08.000 And also, you want to bring with you some tinder.

02:47:12.000 If you have some dry tinder, you should bring that with you, too.

02:47:14.000 Look, you're in for a world of hate.

02:47:16.000 Yeah, I know, man.

02:47:17.000 A world of shit.

02:47:18.000 If you want to really survive...

02:47:19.000 Right.

02:47:20.000 Whenever I watch those survival shows...

02:47:22.000 Which I love, by the way.

02:47:23.000 I'm really into that shit.

02:47:24.000 They're exciting, right?

02:47:25.000 Yeah, I'm into that shit.

02:47:26.000 What would I do?

02:47:26.000 Yeah.

02:47:27.000 What was this guy doing?

02:47:28.000 This YouTube kind of fed this to me the other day.

02:47:31.000 300 days a lot.

02:47:32.000 He made a self-documentary of him spending 300 days on an island by himself.

02:47:36.000 Jesus.

02:47:36.000 He got dropped off with a satellite phone because he ends up getting hurt at some point during it.

02:47:40.000 Are you cutting his own hand off?

02:47:41.000 No, it's a fish.

02:47:43.000 I'm not showing it on here because there's lots of views.

02:47:44.000 You can look it up.

02:47:45.000 300 Days Alone.

02:47:46.000 He does it.

02:47:47.000 At the very end of it, his friend meets him and he shows him what he's been doing for the last two weeks all alone.

02:47:52.000 There's a volcano on this island.

02:47:54.000 He looked like he freaked out.

02:47:56.000 He's basically cast away at the end of this fucking documentary.

02:47:58.000 Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

02:47:59.000 It's pretty cool.

02:47:59.000 Look, that's a fucking hard thing to do just for your mind.

02:48:03.000 I couldn't do that.

02:48:03.000 He's weaving together ropes and shit.

02:48:05.000 Yeah.

02:48:06.000 Yeah.

02:48:06.000 Fuck you.

02:48:07.000 If they put you on an island, how long do you think you'd last?

02:48:09.000 I'd probably last...

02:48:09.000 I'd make it.

02:48:10.000 Maybe 45 minutes.

02:48:11.000 Depends on if I knew that my family was still alive.

02:48:14.000 Yeah.

02:48:14.000 I will make it.

02:48:15.000 Really?

02:48:16.000 Yeah, I'll figure out a way to make it.

02:48:17.000 He found a little pig.

02:48:18.000 Oh, my God.

02:48:19.000 He kept it as a pet for a little while.

02:48:20.000 Oh, I thought it was dead.

02:48:20.000 He's going to kill it?

02:48:21.000 No, no, no.

02:48:22.000 He kept it as a pet and it ended up running away.

02:48:24.000 How did he feed it?

02:48:26.000 He feeds it.

02:48:27.000 He shows you what he does.

02:48:28.000 So it's a wild pig.

02:48:29.000 How do you even find a pig like that?

02:48:31.000 Well, it means he's on a very animal-rich environment if he's on an island with pigs.

02:48:37.000 Trapped it.

02:48:38.000 That's wild.

02:48:39.000 So did he kill any pigs?

02:48:41.000 I honestly didn't watch the entire thing.

02:48:43.000 No, that's the same problem.

02:48:45.000 I didn't watch the whole thing because it's an hour long.

02:48:47.000 He's drinking the pig's piss right there.

02:48:48.000 Look at his.

02:48:49.000 It was just really cool when you started talking about that.

02:48:51.000 I just saw it.

02:48:51.000 What the hell is going on here?

02:48:53.000 He brought his dog with us.

02:48:54.000 He's probably in LA. He's in LA. He's lying.

02:48:56.000 That guy's in Topanga Canyon.

02:48:58.000 That guy's in Calabasca.

02:49:01.000 He's right behind Kanye's house.

02:49:03.000 Seriously.

02:49:03.000 He's behind Kanye's house.

02:49:04.000 Oh, is this how he caught fish?

02:49:06.000 Yeah, the island that he is is right here.

02:49:08.000 He had some guys drop him off and he just said, don't come back for 300 days.

02:49:12.000 So wait, how does he charge the batteries for this footage?

02:49:15.000 You have cell phone chargers that use solar power.

02:49:20.000 A lot of guys use those.

02:49:21.000 Really?

02:49:21.000 Yeah, my friend Adam Greentree, he lives in Australia, and every year he comes to America, and he's a bow hunter, and he'd do a one-month trek solo in the mountains hunting for elk, and he uses these solar panels that he lays out, and they charge battery packs, and that's how he charges his phone.

02:49:37.000 And so he got very famous on Instagram for documenting all this in his Instagram stories.

02:49:43.000 He got in an altercation with a grizzly bear, and he was documenting it.

02:49:47.000 You could see in the Instagram story, the bear standing up, No shit.

02:49:50.000 He's looking at him and coming towards him, and he's got a pistol out.

02:49:53.000 It turned out the pistol was jammed.

02:49:56.000 Did he throw it at the bear then?

02:49:57.000 He didn't have to, but he had it pointed at the...

02:49:59.000 He didn't even understand that the pistol...

02:50:01.000 It wasn't his pistol, so he let him borrow it for personal safety in the forest.

02:50:05.000 And the bullet was the wrong size for the pistol.

02:50:08.000 It could have blew up in his hand if you're not careful.

02:50:09.000 Yeah, something.

02:50:11.000 Who knows?

02:50:11.000 Damn.

02:50:12.000 Not good.

02:50:13.000 But he's fine now, right?

02:50:13.000 He's okay.

02:50:15.000 He's Australian, man.

02:50:16.000 They're a different breed of people.

02:50:17.000 Yeah, they have some shit down there.

02:50:19.000 Yeah, they're children of criminals.

02:50:22.000 That's what it is.

02:50:23.000 The British people who, back then, when everybody was a criminal, were like, you guys are too crazy.

02:50:29.000 Get the fuck off our continent.

02:50:31.000 I'm going to put you in paradise.

02:50:32.000 Put them in paradise.

02:50:34.000 Yeah.

02:50:34.000 But they have crazy animals down there, too.

02:50:35.000 They do.

02:50:36.000 Giant spiders and shit.

02:50:37.000 But the people are cool as fuck, man.

02:50:38.000 It's like a weird thing.

02:50:40.000 Like, somehow or another, that worked.

02:50:42.000 And you've been there, right?

02:50:42.000 A bunch of times.

02:50:43.000 Yeah, I love Australia.

02:50:45.000 What can we do down there?

02:50:46.000 Well, you should do stand-up down there.

02:50:47.000 Maybe you should start your tour.

02:50:48.000 Ooh, yeah, that's a good idea.

02:50:49.000 There you go.

02:50:49.000 It's expensive.

02:50:50.000 The thing is, I have no income, really.

02:50:52.000 Right.

02:50:52.000 For now.

02:50:53.000 Yeah, for now.

02:50:54.000 That's the tough thing, is that...

02:50:57.000 Staying at that hostel really brought things into perspective.

02:51:01.000 Snoring, farting.

02:51:02.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:51:03.000 People just standing in front of me butt-naked.

02:51:04.000 I'm like, hey.

02:51:05.000 Hey.

02:51:06.000 Whatever.

02:51:07.000 Hey.

02:51:08.000 It's just a crazy world, man.

02:51:10.000 Crazy world.

02:51:10.000 Listen, dude, I've got to wrap this up.

02:51:12.000 It's been a pleasure.

02:51:13.000 I'm really glad we did it.

02:51:14.000 So am I, man.

02:51:15.000 I had a feeling it was going to work out this way.

02:51:16.000 Can I plug my Instagram and my shop?

02:51:19.000 So check me out.

02:51:20.000 Instagram at RichieBKid.

02:51:22.000 R-I-C-H-I-E-B-K-I-D-D. And my YouTube channel, Rich Rebuilds.

02:51:27.000 And the shop I'm opening, Electrified Garage.

02:51:30.000 Check it out.

02:51:30.000 Well, thank you, sir.

02:51:31.000 This was a lot of fun, man.

02:51:32.000 And I want you to come back a year from now saying you're doing stand-up.

02:51:36.000 Yeah.

02:51:36.000 Everything's kicking ass.

02:51:37.000 I have like a beard.

02:51:38.000 Like, hey, Joe, man.

02:51:39.000 Cam Homeless, man.

02:51:40.000 Sucks.

02:51:40.000 I was on an island for 300 days.

02:51:43.000 This sucks, man.

02:51:44.000 Thank you, brother.

02:51:44.000 It was awesome.

02:51:45.000 I really appreciate it.

02:51:45.000 Thank you, buddy.

02:51:46.000 Thank you.

02:51:46.000 Bye, everybody.

02:51:48.000 All right, man.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 30, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1287 - Rich Benoit

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