Comedian Joe List joins Jemele to discuss his new show at the Hollywood Improv, The Funny Fucking Thing, and why he thinks stand-up comedy is the best job in the world. Plus, he tells the story of how he almost got into the movie business in the early 90s, and what it's like to be in a corporate job. Plus, Jemele and Joe talk about how they met, how they first met, and how they ended up in comedy. And, of course, they talk about why they think standup comedy should be the next big thing in the entertainment industry, and why they don t think it s a good job at all. Thanks to Joe List for joining Jemele for the Funny Ft Thing and for the chance to work with Jemele on the show. Thanks also to Jonny for being a good friend of the show, and for letting Jemele use his name in the description of the song, "The Funny Fitty Thing." Thanks, Jonny! Thank you, J.J. List. I appreciate you, I really appreciate you. Love ya, bye. -Eugene, AJ&Jemele, -Alyssa, -J.B. & Chito, Jr. -Josie, Jr., & J.V. ( ) -A.M. (?) -AJ&J ( ) -S.E. (AJ & S. (S.J.) -D. (J.A. (M. & A. B. & B. (R. M. ) ) -JOSIE ( ) ( ) AND J. E. (LOT (A. M.) ( ) & AYAN (AYAN) ( )?? ( ) ? (AUGGS ( ) ) ( ) . AND YA'S ( ) BACK AND A BOOY (ABS AND A PODCAST (?) ) ) (A YA CHEY (?) (A BOTTER (A DANCE (A VYANDS (A POTTER AND A DADDY AND A LOT (?) ) AND A CHOOT AND A FAST AND A JOTHE (A LOT OF JEAN AND A COTTON AND A TOTALLY TAYLOR (A JOTHER AND A YANDS AND A QOTHE AND A VYOTHE) )
00:02:11.000When you first get here, you're like, what is this?
00:02:13.000Especially in the 90s, it was super squirrely, because everybody was trying to get a development deal, and everybody was trying to get a sitcom, and they kind of let you think that that was the only way.
00:02:53.000Like, if you could do a sitcom with really good writers who are cool, and all the people on the show were stand-ups, that would be fucking monstrous.
00:03:11.000Well, they're trying to make money, you know, and they can't make money if people do things and get people in trouble or they say things and get people angry or someone calls up human resources and Joe List was talking about his dick.
00:07:40.000We shouldn't have snuck in that extra game.
00:07:43.000The problem is you play one game, and then it gets, like we play for a half hour, play to 100 points, 100 deaths, and then it gets intense.
00:07:53.000And then if one guy beats the other guy, gives him a drubbing, then the other guy wants revenge, and then you have to play that second match.
00:12:20.000And I'll find myself just looking at photos just because I want the dopamine, whatever the fuck it is, of just holding and moving my phone.
00:14:34.000Yeah, well I ate exclusively, I drink Coke, like three or four Cokes a day, exclusively like a large pizza, extra marinara, chicken parm, extra marinara, Chipotle extra hot sauce, chocolate chip cookies.
00:16:38.000And it's all about mineral deficiencies and how many people have mineral deficiencies and how little doctors actually know about nutrition and how so many doctors are not only unhealthy but have, at least back when he wrote this book, have easy access to prescription medicine.
00:17:57.000And they were like, we can squeeze in an appointment.
00:17:59.000And I think when you show up right before they close with no health insurance, The guy kind of looked and went, oh yeah, that's silent reflux.
00:18:05.000And then they print out a piece of paper from WebMD, which is amazing to me.
00:18:10.000They just print shit out that I could have Googled.
00:18:12.000And he's like, try to cut out the spicy foods, take Prilosec and whatever.
00:18:16.000So he made it seem like it was no big deal.
00:19:38.000I don't know how much worse it would be if I wasn't taking that, but then when you get off of that, there's a thing called rebound reflux, where it just comes back fucking gangbusters.
00:21:08.000Like, when I was a kid, or when I was younger, I ran, I was a distance runner, and I stopped running distance, but I feel like now I could go run five miles because I used to.
00:23:47.000Nervous where I was like wait is this something is this like a real thing and like everyone there was like ah no he's fucking with you And then I was like telling the story later to like my fan my uncle and he's like ah he's drunk you fucking you'll be fine I was like what do you mean he's like ah he's older he's drunk oh my god I'm like at what point of me Hitting Vinnie Pazienza do you think he'd be like all right all right I'm sorry There's no amount of like,
00:24:12.000ah, he's a little older, he's had a couple cocktails.
00:26:04.000It's one of the more interesting things about rolling the dice with the New York City subway is that You're just entering into a closed environment where you cannot escape for a prolonged period of time with people that you don't know.
00:26:17.000Most people just want to get to their job or their house or wherever they're going.
00:26:20.000But every now and then, like I met a dude, do you remember there was a knife attack on a subway where a guy had killed a couple of people and cut one guy up and the guy disarmed him from some moves that he learned in the Ultimate Fighting Championship watching it on TV? No.
00:28:22.000Realistically, it was like four or five minutes, but I was like shitting my pants and there's six of them They're probably like early 20s late teens.
00:28:29.000I have no fighting training or no weapon where I was like this is a bad situation like Six people you're like I'm not gonna I have no six people's a problem Six people is a problem.
00:28:41.000I appreciate you saying it, because a lot of people are like, I would have busted up the biggest guy, whatever the fuck, and you're like, dude.
00:28:57.000If you just put your back to the wall, there's six people, as they come towards you, they have to kind of come towards you almost single file.
00:29:18.000If you smash one guy's face in, and he goes unconscious, and then the other guys are there, and you start moving in on them, they have this anxiety attack, they start freaking, unless they know how to fight.
00:29:29.000And I doubt they do, because people who know how to fight, they don't do things like that.
00:29:33.000Very, very rarely do you run into thugs that actually know how to fight.
00:29:37.000But that's the problem is, most people who know how to fight, I'm one of those most people.
00:29:42.000So the smashing in the face, I mean, I know how to throw a punch.
00:29:45.000But I'm saying, even for anybody, even for a trained fighter, if you're in a subway with six guys, it's not good.
00:31:32.000I mean, there were some Irish people that came over that did indentured servitude.
00:31:37.000I'm sure actually, now that I am reading, I did read something about Irish slaves.
00:31:44.000But in comparison to African slaves, it's not even close.
00:31:47.000Yeah, I don't know much about that Irish thing, but I know that black people, African-American people get upset when you say, but the Irish were enslaved.
00:33:51.000He was never as funny as he is now, but he always had something.
00:33:55.000He was always like, this guy's going to make it.
00:33:57.000Yeah, it is interesting when people kind of figure it out.
00:33:59.000But I think a lot of those people, they're trying to be what they think is supposed to be funny, and eventually they figure out to just be themselves.
00:34:09.000Like, they're trying to do Seinfeld or something, and then after a while, somebody along the way goes, hey, just tell the thing you said in the car.
00:34:18.000I got friends like that that never made that flip, like, friends from Boston, comics, that have, like, the biggest disparity in funny offstage to funny onstage of anybody where it's puzzling.
00:34:32.000Where I'm like, you're the funniest person I've ever met, and you've been eating shit for 20 years.
00:34:37.000And it's like, how does that not translate?
00:35:12.000And I'm saying within like six months, he went from having rough sets to fucking annihilating.
00:35:20.000He also gained, during that time, at least 80 pounds.
00:35:25.000He just didn't give a fuck anymore like something clicked where he didn't give a fuck anymore, right?
00:35:31.000He started eating whatever he wanted to eat He was partying like a madman and he would go on stage just Just didn't give a fuck and he was so funny It's like he figured out the formula if he was trying to do the actor thing He got sucked into that thing that we were talking about where you want to get on sitcoms you want to get auditions you're going out for movies and And then after a while,
00:35:53.000he just got fucked over too many times and dealt with too many people.
00:35:56.000And he realized that he was like kind of tailoring his act for those assholes.
00:36:01.000Yeah, I love those moments in any artist with music or whatever it is.
00:36:07.000All I know is music and comedy really.
00:36:09.000But when they fucking finally get into that...
00:36:13.000In the rhythm of like figuring out who they are and what they are and then you're like, oh wow, this is special to watch.
00:36:17.000Yeah, it's cool to watch too for like a person who's trying to do it themselves because you see all the elements and the qualities that they've sort of embraced that have helped them, like the authenticity and their real thoughts and, you know, their honest self-deprecation and all the things that you see that just sort of fall into place and then you can kind of examine your own self.
00:38:37.000Boston's a great place to grow up, but I think it wears on you.
00:38:41.000All my friends who live there, I still have a few buddies that live there, and I talk to them like, man, I don't know how many more winners I can fucking take.
00:38:48.000Yeah, I got a buddy that just moved to Key, he's moving to Key West July 1st, and he's like, I'm tired of shoveling, and it's a hard city.
00:38:56.000People are fucking angry, and the traffic, and there's like inferiority complexes.
00:39:02.000It's a great place to, I think, influence you, and then you gotta get the hell out of there.
00:41:43.000They put a little thing on there and boom.
00:41:45.000Here it says, there are currently no cure for existing HPV infection, but for most people, it would be cleared by their own immune system, and there are treatments available for the symptoms it can cause.
00:45:06.000Because I always just ate garbage or whatever without thinking about it.
00:45:09.000Now, the more research I do, the more...
00:45:12.000I like to read health benefits of the food I'm eating while I'm eating it because it makes it feel like, oh, alright, I'm doing something good.
00:45:18.000But then at the bottom of the page, if you eat too much broccoli, you'll shit your blood or whatever.
00:47:34.000For some reason, this thing won't do the math right, but in one ounce, there's 2.6, so times 12, it's roughly 30, because it's 24 times the 1, plus the 6, so something like that.
00:47:50.000Yeah, you're only supposed to, like, for a healthy diet, I think you're supposed to be limited to 100 grams of sugar a day, and that's for an active person.
00:47:59.000Like, you really shouldn't fuck around with more than that.
00:48:10.000As you get older, body starts to fucking fall apart on you, bro.
00:48:13.000Yeah, my buddy, John Fish, who I mentioned earlier, he has a story about he went to his doctor, and his doctor was like, in your 30s, your body starts to break down, and in your 40s, your body starts to die.
00:49:46.000I wish we could do that because everything has all these stats now, you know, like baseball, whatever.
00:49:50.000I wish you could have all the shits you've taken, how many times you've wiped your ass, how many times you've jerked off, how many times you've had sex.
00:49:57.000Wouldn't it be fun to have all of those numbers?
00:50:27.000I was just going to say the Apple Watch might know because last time I got an elliptical, it knew I was on the elliptical within two minutes.
00:50:32.000It's like, oh, do you want to track this elliptical workout?
00:50:41.000You know, that's interesting, that MyZone's heart rate monitor thing that we were wearing for Sober October, that thing syncs up with my elliptical machine, and it shows the heart rate without me even holding onto the heart rate sensors.
00:51:25.000Yeah, I hate to sound like some fucking asshole that's like, oh, I'm not doing anything wrong, but it doesn't connect with me to be concerned about that.
00:51:37.000Yeah, I don't think you sound like an asshole.
00:53:56.000I guess you get, they're not killing machines, but I guess you get into something, and then you're like, I want this gun, and then I want to try to get another gun.
00:54:01.000And then you get addicted to the purchasing of things.
00:54:04.000Yeah, there's that, but it's also fun to shoot them.
00:54:08.000Like, I went to a range with Duncan, Duncan Trussell, who's basically a Buddhist and probably one of the most peaceful people I've ever met in my life.
00:55:11.000You have to set your scope for that, or at the very least you have to understand the drop of your bullet.
00:55:17.000It's all about how fast your bullet's going.
00:55:20.000If you had a pencil and a bullet, right, one in each hand and you dropped them both at the same time, they'll both fall exactly the same speed because it's the rate of gravity.
00:55:27.000So it's all a matter of how fast the bullet gets to the target.
00:55:36.000So it's how fast is it going there is going to tell you how far it's going to drop.
00:55:41.000So if you know that, you set that You can use ballistics, an application.
00:55:48.000You take that ballistics information, you put it into your phone, like 400 yards, 115 grains, whatever your bullet is, you know, 300 wind mag, whatever it is.
00:55:58.000You enter all that stuff in, and then it'll tell you exactly what to do on your scope, and then you turn it, and then bink, it'll go right in the center.
00:57:54.000But yeah, that's why- Some people gotta sacrifice.
00:57:56.000There's a couple guys whose name I don't know, but I just see him and then like my wife will just, I'm sorry, I didn't know he was in this.
00:58:14.000See, this is the thing that I hope comes out of this whole Me Too movement besides these criminals getting busted is that it changes the whole...
00:58:24.000It's like there's a sort of the way thing there's an ecosystem out here and I've seen it with women too like there was a woman casting agent that I knew that fucked all these men and would get them parts and she was gross and she was really aggressive She tried to fuck my buddy.
00:58:40.000She tried to fuck two of my buddies Oh, wow.
00:59:54.000But I do think a lot of people that are naturally artistic, they become open-minded, and then they end up going to places where they're very diverse.
01:00:03.000Becoming progressive, I think, is meeting a lot of these people that are, you know, gay people and Muslim people and trans people, and then you go, oh, these people are just like me, blah, blah, blah.
01:00:25.000Like, what they're doing is they're just sort of spouting out this predetermined pattern of behavior that they feel like would be accepted.
01:02:15.000But I try to be in tune with that too, like in a...
01:02:19.000A meditative way of that, like, because you get so, as a comedian, you get so obsessed with just, like, the sound of killing and wanting to kill that you forget that they're actually a group of human beings.
01:02:28.000And then you're like, you are, the goal is to Bring joy to the people that you're actually trying to get laughs and trying to feel the joy of providing joy.
01:02:40.000As opposed to just like, if I kill, I'll get on TV and if I get on TV, I can pitch my show.
01:02:45.000I try to kind of organically walk it back to the room in the moment of...
01:03:17.000I'm hoping that goes away, and I think it is.
01:03:19.000That's one thing that's kind of reinvigorated the Los Angeles scene is actually the death of jobs, believe it or not.
01:03:26.000There's no jobs for comedians anymore other than being a comedian.
01:03:31.000And also, because of podcasts and the internet, because people can put their clips up on YouTube and because people can do things on the internet, the really important stuff for your career is no longer held by these gatekeepers,
01:03:47.000like the network executives that are constantly...
01:04:03.000So many bookers, in comedy starting out, you try to impress this booker or get in with them or you're kind of hanging out and having a beer.
01:04:09.000And then next thing you know, they're in accounting.
01:04:11.000They're not even in the business anymore.
01:04:14.000The good thing about today, though, is there's more camaraderie amongst comedians than ever before.
01:04:20.000And there's more support amongst comedians because comedians do each other's podcasts.
01:04:24.000And on the podcast, you'll talk about each other.
01:04:27.000Sometimes it's bad like how we're shitting on Ari Shafir because I'm fucking really tired of Ari.
01:04:40.000But I mean it's sometimes it is bad though if someone gets exposed if someone you know like someone does piss you off or someone is doing something unethical and you find out about it through a podcast but for the most part most comedians in these podcasts are being like super supportive and Yeah,
01:05:34.000Ari's podcast is one of my favorite podcasts because you get to know him in his podcast.
01:05:40.000He'll do an intro that's 40 minutes long for a conversation.
01:05:44.000And it's him stoned, wandering around his apartment, cooking salmon and talking about it and talking about this and that and something that sucks and this is stupid and that's great.
01:07:03.000I'm not going to swallow that, Joe Lode.
01:07:07.000But then I've produced a show with him, we did a show together, and that's when it fucks you, the splitting the money, where I'm like, I don't want to fucking split the money.
01:09:09.000I guess they went into the trunk, but I thought maybe I didn't lock the door, but a bunch of people have tweeted at me saying they have, like, fucking decoder things.
01:09:28.000Yeah, so that after that happened we noticed every restaurant would go to would see at least like one business guy with a Eating with a suitcase next to him.
01:09:34.000We're like you got to bring your shit inside It was brutal Silicon Valley is a weird spot because you have all these really rich people and then you have a fucking army of homeless folks.
01:09:46.000Yeah, I mean that feels like America And getting more and more that way.
01:09:50.000Somebody was telling me this, Jamie, find out if this is true, because someone was telling me that there's a woman that I know that lives out here, and she was saying that they bused people, bused them in from other cities.
01:10:02.000They take their homeless people and give them one-way tickets to Los Angeles.
01:10:45.000That's that island that they used to send the lepers.
01:10:47.000So there's an article I just found that was done by The Guardian in 2017. Seems like a pretty long, in-depth article.
01:10:54.000It doesn't say they're being bussed specifically to Los Angeles, but this one, the example they're giving is a ticket purchased to this guy by the city of San Francisco, and I think this was sending him to Indianapolis.
01:12:26.000Yeah, it's Lawrence Wright's book, Going Clear.
01:12:29.000The book is even more bizarre because it gets, obviously, way more into depth about how crazy L. Ron Hubbard was and what he essentially did and how he started this whole thing.
01:14:01.000They're just not interested in taking in your homeless.
01:14:05.000Yeah, it's a, you know, by the time you get to be a certain age and you're homeless, I guess you just have to accept the fact that this is just life.
01:15:43.000I started a place called Chop's Lounge, which was like a true open mic, where it was like street people and fucking people that had been bussed in from San Francisco.
01:15:52.000It was like a sign up and go on, and there'd be like a mixture of comics and then just weirdos and So I started there, and then I went, eventually the Comedy Connection, I started working there.
01:16:03.000But that's where I first started opening for people and doing like real comedy work.
01:17:15.000If racism and sexism are out of the picture, it's not your fault.
01:17:20.000It's not your fault that you're a white male.
01:17:22.000The problem is that some people are not white males.
01:17:25.000If you're a black woman and you encounter prejudice everywhere you go and discrimination everywhere you go, the problem is the discrimination.
01:20:51.000flight, and I woke up at, like, 9.20 in the morning in this girl's bed, and I was like, I gotta get the hell out of here, but first I gotta piss, because if I piss in this woman's bed, it's gonna be horrible.
01:21:02.000So I ran to the bathroom, found the bathroom, pissed for, like, a half hour, you know those?
01:21:07.000And I'm trying to, like, put my shit together.
01:22:22.000Did you lose contact with her after this?
01:22:25.000No, so I was like, I gotta get out of here, because I gotta go catch this flight.
01:22:28.000So I took my sock and put it on like a puppet, like a hand puppet, a sock puppet, and just kind of picked it up that way, and then turned the sock inside out, which is almost like a shit in a sock, and threw that away, and I tried to wipe up as much of the...
01:24:37.000Joe Liss is funny, but God, he smells shit.
01:24:40.000So then I finished, I took a shower finally, like 12 hours later, and I was actually, I remember pulling little pieces of shit out of my leg hair.
01:24:47.000It was the best shower of my life, it felt like.
01:25:47.000So I sent him a card with 300 bucks, and I didn't really keep in touch with them, but they were nice, and they were like, hopefully you don't get that fucked up again.
01:25:55.000And then, by the way, I drank that, and I kept drinking for two more years.
01:25:58.000You'd think that would be like a bottom?
01:25:59.000And then I remember that night being like, well, I'm gonna drink again at some point.
01:27:49.000And then I realized for basically a decade, I was drunk or hungover.
01:27:53.000Or just foggy, like where you turn your head and it takes a moment for everything to kind of like catch up, where I was just fucking foggy.
01:28:24.000And then the problem was, you know, when you quit drinking, get sober, like the first 90 days, they're like, just don't worry about anything except for not drinking.
01:28:52.000Imagine if you did a show called Joe List Gets Fucked Up, where it's like you have handlers to make sure you don't shit in anybody's shoe, you have everything taken care of, and you go, look, I haven't had a drink in six years, but I'm sober now.
01:29:05.000I'm content being sober, but for tonight, and tonight only, we're having a one-night Joe List Gets Fucked Up special.
01:29:44.000I mean, there's a lot, but the idea of going back to like...
01:29:47.000Day one, it's like such a, which happens, and it's part of getting sober, then people go, I don't want to disparage people that are having that happen, but like, it's such a bummer to fucking walk back in there and be like, I got one day, and you're like, fuck me.
01:30:46.000More appealing, because nowadays, first of all, it's like, you can go to a store, and there's a guy that's like, this weed makes you feel happy, this one chills you out, this one makes you gay, this one's crazy.
01:30:58.000Like before, when I was, I was never a big weed guy, but I'd get drunk and smoke, and sometimes you'd just smoke some fucking crazy demon weed and be out of your mind.
01:31:05.000It was just whatever, weed was just weed.
01:31:07.000Now it feels like there's categories and shit.
01:31:09.000Dude, I did a B-Real Smokebox, you know, B-Real from Cypress Hill.
01:34:41.000And you're upset about it, and so when you're not on stage or when you are on stage, you're trying to do something else to make you forget about that attention or affection you didn't get somewhere along the line.
01:38:08.000I think a lot of it is like, you know, this is a huge show, and then my wife was doing Late Night last night, and then I'm on the road with Louis, and, you know, he's just...
01:38:19.000My biggest fears are being, like, you know, you've disliked and wanting to be pleased people.
01:38:24.000I'm a people pleaser, as many alcoholics are.
01:38:27.000So I feel like you're in the fire in these controversial situations, and the bigger audience, the more people are breaking down what you're saying and being like, what's up with this fucking guy?
01:38:37.000What is it like doing the road with Louie now?
01:39:58.000And then I just was, because I was on Twitter looking at all this stuff...
01:40:04.000I saw something that led to something that someone tagged me, and then I looked at my mentions for a second, and like, how come you're not talking about Christchurch, you racist piece of shit?
01:41:52.000It's not like we have men meetings where we get together and say, hey, we've got to stop these women from exercising their reproductive rights.
01:42:01.000So you're punishing a bunch of people that have nothing to do with this because we also have penises?
01:42:09.000But it's such an obvious virtue signal.
01:42:12.000It's so obvious that this is like pussy hats, the women's, we're going to do this, we're going to do this, and then we're going to sex strike, and a bunch of our friends are probably like, yeah, this is going to work.
01:42:22.000Like, this is not how to handle things.
01:49:18.000And for these people, look, there's a lot of times you'll say something one way, and then you're like, ah, it's not working.
01:49:23.000And then you'll figure out another way to sneak in through the back door, and it works way better.
01:49:27.000And then if they heard the first way, and like, this joke sucks, like, no, no, no, I figured out I'll say it later, but now it's already on YouTube.
01:49:53.000But yeah, and then people were talking about how now the parents have to hear this and stuff, and you're like, well, they weren't going to.
01:50:02.000You took it and put it out, and then CBS picked it up and put it on CBS. So now they're hearing it.
01:50:08.000But before that, there was just 180 people in Long Island hearing it.
01:50:11.000Yeah, which is what it was supposed to be.
01:50:13.000But the thing about working on material is, if you like comedy...
01:50:18.000You can't release people shit like that because you're never going to get good comedy because every time Dave Chappelle does a workout set or anybody, you're gonna get these half-cooked bits and then you're gonna release them and it's gonna ruin it for you,
01:50:36.000it's gonna ruin it for the people that listen.
01:50:39.000For the people that are in the room, that's for them.
01:50:42.000If you're taking it out, like, and there's been a lot of talk about Louis making this copyright thing saying that, you know, that they will take legal action if you print or you do anything to record or do anything to put the material online.
01:51:49.000And so many people were doing it, and it turned out that they had a bunch of jokes that were awful, or about a mass shooting, or about pulling your dick out in front of someone, or about anything along those lines.
01:52:01.000It's also a bad precedent to start, where I'm like, do we really want to start publicly shitting on comics' unfinished bits?
01:54:09.000That he could do that would make them just go, all right, well, I know you're not going to do that again, and you seem like a reasonable person.
01:54:32.000I think at a certain point in time people just decide that this is a guy that you can take a free shot at and you can shit on him and you can attribute things to him that aren't true.
01:54:41.000You can attribute a bunch of things to him that are not accurate.
01:54:44.000And it's easy, like calling him alt-right, or saying, Louis C.K. showing his true colors now.
01:54:49.000Jesus Christ, go back and watch his bit about hitting a deer, okay?
01:54:54.000It's a fucking ridiculous, really funny material, and that's what I enjoyed about his act.
01:55:01.000That bit, if left alone, I mean, it's out of his act now, but if left alone in X amount of time, he would have crafted that into a great bit, I'm sure of it.
01:55:36.000I just saw, ironically, with Louis, we went and saw Apocalypse Now during the Tribeca Film Festival, and Francis Ford Coppola was there, and he came out and he spoke about the film beforehand and after.
01:55:46.000And Robert Duvall was also there, and he came out and went, Charlie, don't surf!
01:56:31.000But certainly if you take anything outside of a comedy club and put it out in the public, it's not for those people.
01:56:37.000It's for the people that bought the ticket.
01:56:38.000Well, it's also in context of the experience of being in a comedy club, having a couple drinks, and watching a hilarious guy talk some shit, especially a guy coming back after a national scandal, not worldwide, worldwide scandal.
01:57:05.000Yes, they're trying to figure out life and they're being interviewed on CNN and some of them are changing their opinions and they're developing and growing as we speak.
01:57:15.000But One of them, like the David Ha guy, he wrote, fuck the patriarchy on his Twitter the other day.
02:01:09.000And they don't work because you're mean.
02:01:11.000They don't work because you're horrible.
02:01:12.000They work because everyone knows you're joking.
02:01:15.000If everybody really thought you were a horrible person and you were happy that people got shot, they wouldn't laugh at a goddamn thing you said.
02:02:21.000I mean, he's going to get to a point where he's got a real motherfucker of an hour, and then someone's going to have to figure out whether or not they're willing to take a chance and put it on.
02:02:32.000Well, it's like you were talking about earlier, too.
02:02:33.000I mean, you can also just put it on his website or YouTube or whatever.
02:03:14.000That's why some people go to jail for life, and some people go to jail for two years, and this is the reason why we have lesser punishments for lesser crimes.
02:03:30.000If you ask people if you can jerk off in front of them, and they say yes, and you do it, maybe it's a weird thing to do, but you're not Bill Cosby, okay?
02:03:40.000To say that you're not supposed to make these comparisons, this is a loaded subject too, right?
02:03:45.000We're talking about this, and I see you're nervous.
02:04:01.000I would agree wholeheartedly, but yeah.
02:04:05.000How long do you think it's going to be before people just let it go?
02:04:09.000Well, I think there's actually the group of people that are really upset about it, I think it's probably like a quarter of a million people.
02:05:19.000But that's what I was talking about earlier, that I think he's a target.
02:05:22.000And I think they just decide that this is what they're gonna do now.
02:05:24.000Like that guy, saying that he gave you the finger when he didn't.
02:05:28.000The virtue signaling aspect of it is one of the weirdest parts about social media because it's people that ordinarily, like in a real-world scenario, you have an opportunity to say something if you really feel so compelled.
02:07:16.000So, like, they could, in the moment, and his perception might be, well, they said yes, and I think he kind of talks about this a little bit on stage, and I don't want to tell his stories to tell, but I think one person can be like, I thought they were into it.
02:07:30.000I thought they were saying yes, and they're into it.
02:08:55.000And I think, you know, maybe it would serve him if he went out and talked about it extensively, like had a conversation about, like maybe videotaped it or something.
02:09:30.000He basically said he did it, and those stories are true, and that he fucked up, and he thought that by them saying yes, that that was okay.
02:09:40.000But meanwhile, he took advantage of the fact they admired him.
02:11:03.000You can't do anything like if once you're my friend, like unless you're out there murdering kids or something or doing something really fucked up or actually raping someone.
02:11:26.000Yeah, that's how it all comes out good.
02:11:28.000It's like there's got to be something fucked up about your head where you can come up with these.
02:11:35.000And another one that drives me crazy is these guys who you know are freaks and they're out of their fucking mind offstage.
02:11:42.000But on stage they have like sort of a more squeaky clean thing and their public thing is more squeaky clean and they're judgmental about it.
02:15:38.000I got to check something off the list.
02:15:40.000It's it's a bizarre feeling cuz you know we like it was like You know we took over and then just made this palace into a base and there's like a driving range You can like hit into like his prayer pond or whatever Whatever the fuck it is like reflection pool.
02:15:53.000He's got a prayer pond filled with golf balls.
02:15:55.000Yeah, that's hilarious And they sell Cubans and like the lobby America.
02:18:17.000Well, my cousin was the boss, which helped, and he let me work from 10 to 6, which is great comedy hours.
02:18:23.000And then we were like plain clothed, I guess.
02:18:27.000Oh, so you just walked around and busted people stealing.
02:18:29.000Yeah, it had like a little radio on the belt, and then we had a crazy camera system for 2007. I think we had 82 cameras, and you could zoom and shit, and you just watch people all day, and then you'd walk around the store and be like, keep an eye on camera 11 now.
02:19:18.000And he was hilarious, and he got a DUI, and they took away his license, and what he really needed was not an assistant, he needed a driver.
02:19:26.000So I just had to have a good driver's license.
02:19:30.000But I was working as an assistant, and then we became friends, and we'd bus people.
02:19:34.000Mostly people that were stealing insurance money.
02:19:37.000They were like doing things like pretending they were injured and they take another job on the side and then we'd catch them.
02:19:44.000We'd have to get there like 5 o'clock in the morning and wait for them to get up and go to work and then follow them take pictures of them and shit.
02:21:02.000Yeah, we decided, well, I couldn't go naked because it's like a sex crime, so I covered my face with a brown paper bag and bought like a candy thong necklace at the...
02:21:51.000If a gal goes through a place, like maybe you're at Target, and some gal decides to take off her clothes and walk as far as she can through Target before they arrest her, are you in support of her being arrested and taken to a jail and hit with a sex crime?