The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1303

00:00:03.000 Tommy Chong, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:04.000 How are you, sir?

00:00:05.000 I'm fine, man.

00:00:07.000 It's great to see you again, man.

00:00:08.000 You too, Joe.

00:00:09.000 I tell everybody that one of my first ever experiences with comedy recordings was listening to Big Bamboo when I was a kid.

00:00:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:18.000 My parents had it, and they'd let us listen to it.

00:00:21.000 We'd open it up like a big old packet of rolling papers and pull out the albums back then, the actual record.

00:00:27.000 Yeah.

00:00:27.000 You know, and so I've been a fan for a long time.

00:00:31.000 Yeah.

00:00:32.000 I can tell, man.

00:00:33.000 How are you?

00:00:33.000 I can tell.

00:00:34.000 The lover of the weed.

00:00:36.000 I'm fine, man.

00:00:37.000 I couldn't be better.

00:00:40.000 I'll be 81 Friday.

00:00:42.000 That's amazing.

00:00:42.000 Wow.

00:00:43.000 Does that sound crazy to say?

00:00:45.000 Because I'm 51. That sounds crazy to say.

00:00:47.000 When I say it, I'm like, Jesus, is that true?

00:00:49.000 Fuck.

00:00:50.000 I'm 30 years older than you.

00:00:51.000 Wow.

00:00:52.000 Wow.

00:00:53.000 That's something.

00:00:54.000 But I feel good, man.

00:00:55.000 You know, all the systems are go again, you know.

00:00:58.000 And that makes a big difference in the life, you know.

00:01:01.000 Yeah.

00:01:02.000 That's what I found out the fountain of youth is the pussy.

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:06.000 That's it?

00:01:07.000 Drink out of the fountain of youth and you'll live forever.

00:01:07.000 That's all it is?

00:01:10.000 Really?

00:01:10.000 Yep.

00:01:11.000 What about if you're gay?

00:01:11.000 Okay.

00:01:14.000 Well, I guess...

00:01:15.000 Long pause.

00:01:17.000 Yeah, I had to think about that one.

00:01:20.000 Well, I guess...

00:01:21.000 It might be dick for that one.

00:01:23.000 No, it has to be the fountain.

00:01:26.000 It has to be the fountain.

00:01:28.000 So, even for gay folks, it's gotta be pussy too?

00:01:31.000 Well, what's the longest living gay guy that you know?

00:01:34.000 That's a good question.

00:01:38.000 Huh.

00:01:38.000 Like Bob Hope, man.

00:01:39.000 Was he gay?

00:01:40.000 No.

00:01:44.000 At least one night I knew him.

00:01:49.000 No, that's my final use.

00:01:51.000 Yeah.

00:01:51.000 You know, because it...

00:01:52.000 Sure, romance.

00:01:53.000 Well, what happens is your body, when it reaches a certain stage, it starts disintegrating because it's getting ready for the recall and the reboot.

00:02:05.000 Yeah.

00:02:05.000 And you get a new body and away you go again.

00:02:07.000 But if you keep this body healthy, it feels that there's no need to leave because you obviously still got more shit to do.

00:02:18.000 Yeah, you're still enjoying it.

00:02:19.000 Yeah, you're still producing, you know.

00:02:22.000 Are you exercising and everything?

00:02:23.000 Oh yeah.

00:02:24.000 Yeah, what do you do?

00:02:24.000 I got a trainer now.

00:02:26.000 But my main exercise is tango.

00:02:26.000 Yeah?

00:02:29.000 Tango?

00:02:30.000 Tango.

00:02:31.000 I will turn you on to tango.

00:02:31.000 Really?

00:02:34.000 Tango is old folks' sex.

00:02:39.000 The whole thing about tango is it's so intricate.

00:02:43.000 The original tango was a mating dance from Africa.

00:02:47.000 Really?

00:02:48.000 And what they would do, the tribes, the young kids would get together and dance and flirt with their feet.

00:02:55.000 And so when the slaves got taken, you know, from Africa and put on the boats and that, they ended up crossing the foot dance with the Adagio French dance, the dance of the brothels.

00:03:09.000 And so then they ended up with a music or a dance called tango, which was a combination.

00:03:17.000 Tango itself is a word that means small drum.

00:03:21.000 It's an African drum.

00:03:23.000 Just like Mambo, it's an African word that means storytelling.

00:03:28.000 Yeah.

00:03:28.000 Really?

00:03:29.000 Dude, story time with Tommy Chong here.

00:03:31.000 Man, I was in jail.

00:03:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:33.000 I had nothing but time.

00:03:34.000 And I wrote a whole paper on Tango.

00:03:36.000 So anyway, Tango, like I go to Argentina with my wife a lot.

00:03:41.000 And it's very tough dance to dance with your wife.

00:03:44.000 You have to dance with a stranger.

00:03:46.000 And she has to dance with a stranger.

00:03:49.000 Why is that?

00:03:50.000 I think you're too intimate, too personal.

00:03:53.000 You know each other too well.

00:03:55.000 If you're a stranger, then all you can respond to is the dance signals.

00:04:04.000 Like, the man has to lead.

00:04:06.000 But he has to lead in such a way that you can't see him.

00:04:10.000 He can't pull her around.

00:04:13.000 He suggests.

00:04:15.000 And so he'll suggest a certain move and then the girl, his partner, will understand that move and then she can do a couple of steps.

00:04:24.000 In a certain way.

00:04:28.000 Like one is called the...

00:04:30.000 I can't remember the term.

00:04:35.000 Ochos.

00:04:36.000 Ochos, which means back and forth.

00:04:39.000 And out of those combinations, once the guy gets the girl going into the ochos, for instance, then he can move on to another...

00:04:46.000 He'll stop her with his foot, and then he'll move on to another series of moves.

00:04:53.000 And they're all designed.

00:04:55.000 But the stranger...

00:04:57.000 The woman has to really listen to the moves if she's dancing with a stranger or a teacher.

00:05:05.000 And that's how...

00:05:06.000 And then it has to be a close embrace.

00:05:10.000 And the woman has to be cuddled up against the guy.

00:05:13.000 Not always, but for the most part.

00:05:15.000 So you're not looking at your feet at all.

00:05:17.000 And it's all about feel.

00:05:20.000 And so you have to feel the other person's body.

00:05:24.000 And it can get so intimate, man, that you really, after a good dance with a good tango teacher, you really feel like having a cigarette and relaxing for a bit.

00:05:37.000 Did you study this?

00:05:38.000 Did you take classes?

00:05:39.000 I got turned on to it in Paris.

00:05:43.000 Cheech and I were finishing up the Corsican Brothers, and we got offered to do the Cisco Kid.

00:05:50.000 And they sent me the script, and in the script it said, Tango Dancers.

00:05:54.000 And so my wife and I, girlfriend at the time, but wife now, we used to drive by this place that said Tango in neon lights, and so we stopped and And took our first tango lesson from this George and Rosie,

00:06:10.000 a couple there.

00:06:12.000 And George was too old to get out of bed.

00:06:14.000 He was in his 90s or something.

00:06:16.000 He was in bed.

00:06:17.000 Rosie came and met us and she showed us the first little bit of tango.

00:06:22.000 Well, my wife, Shelby, who was an excellent dancer, she's been studying dance, you know, ever since I can remember, you know.

00:06:31.000 And so she started doing salsa first, and then I found out about that, and I had to learn salsa.

00:06:38.000 But then we started learning tango together.

00:06:42.000 And then she went on to really learn how to dance, how to dance with the pros.

00:06:48.000 Me, I'm still struggling to be a pro.

00:06:50.000 And it's very hard.

00:06:52.000 It's like MMA fighting.

00:06:53.000 She's a pro, I'm an amateur.

00:06:56.000 And so when we go down to Buenos Aires, like we went down for her birthday, I was the video operator because I didn't know how to dance that well.

00:07:07.000 I take lessons almost 20 years now, but I still don't have the skills to be a professional like that.

00:07:20.000 Yeah, so I went down and videotaped her, and then I came back and I made a vow.

00:07:24.000 I said, this is embarrassing, you know, because people know me from years ago, and I still can't dance.

00:07:30.000 So it's about time that I learned.

00:07:34.000 So I gave up everything to learn tango.

00:07:37.000 Really?

00:07:38.000 But what'd you give up?

00:07:39.000 Golf, more than anything.

00:07:40.000 Really?

00:07:41.000 There's a lot of guys right now that are going crazy.

00:07:41.000 Yeah.

00:07:42.000 Why would you give up golf for tango?

00:07:45.000 Actually, it worked out really well.

00:07:47.000 I played a tournament, golf, last week, and I did the best I've ever done.

00:07:51.000 If you lay off something, you forget all your bad habits.

00:07:54.000 Oh, that's true, too.

00:07:55.000 And you're probably really enthusiastic about playing it again.

00:07:57.000 Oh, I loved it.

00:07:59.000 I did good.

00:08:00.000 I got about two pars.

00:08:04.000 For me, I got about a 36 handicap, something like that.

00:08:04.000 Incredible.

00:08:09.000 But I gave up golf because it's too much energy.

00:08:13.000 It's taking too much energy.

00:08:14.000 Sure, you gotta walk around all the time.

00:08:15.000 Yeah.

00:08:16.000 I would also imagine that the tango dancing, all the movement and the footwork would actually probably make you more steady and stable, balanced better, so it'd probably make your golf game better.

00:08:23.000 Oh, it did.

00:08:24.000 Totally, totally.

00:08:26.000 I noticed that with yoga.

00:08:27.000 Yoga makes pool better in some weird way.

00:08:30.000 It makes you stand stronger.

00:08:31.000 Yeah.

00:08:32.000 There's also a pause.

00:08:36.000 In comedy, someone asked me about the secret of comedy.

00:08:40.000 I said, it's a pause.

00:08:41.000 And the tango is a pause, too.

00:08:44.000 Timing.

00:08:45.000 Timing.

00:08:45.000 Waiting.

00:08:46.000 Waiting.

00:08:47.000 Waiting and using that silence, you know, before you say something to give people a time to formulate their own thoughts about what you're doing or to concentrate on what you're going to say next.

00:09:00.000 And that's the same thing with tango.

00:09:03.000 Is this you?

00:09:05.000 Yeah.

00:09:06.000 Oh, that's me with Peter.

00:09:07.000 Were you on Dancing with the Stars?

00:09:09.000 Oh, shit.

00:09:09.000 Yeah.

00:09:10.000 How hard was that to do?

00:09:12.000 Oh, it was incredible.

00:09:14.000 Look at you, carrying her everything.

00:09:15.000 What the hell is going on here?

00:09:17.000 Good Lord.

00:09:19.000 What are you saying to her there?

00:09:21.000 We did it.

00:09:22.000 We did it.

00:09:23.000 We did it.

00:09:24.000 Wow.

00:09:25.000 You got Randy Couture crying.

00:09:27.000 I got a 10. It looked like Randy was crying.

00:09:29.000 What's his name?

00:09:31.000 Kevin Hart.

00:09:32.000 Kevin Hart was the judge.

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:34.000 He gave me a 10. Oh, that's amazing.

00:09:36.000 The only 10 I got.

00:09:37.000 Look at me.

00:09:38.000 She had to carry me off there.

00:09:40.000 Wow.

00:09:41.000 Oh, man.

00:09:42.000 That tore my butt up, man.

00:09:45.000 I imagine literally serious fucking training for that, right?

00:09:48.000 I came off that with rectal cancer.

00:09:51.000 Whoa!

00:09:52.000 Yeah, I found out on that show.

00:09:55.000 Wow.

00:09:56.000 You don't think you got it from dancing?

00:09:58.000 I think I got it from...

00:10:01.000 No smoking and the stress.

00:10:05.000 From no smoking weed?

00:10:07.000 No smoking weed.

00:10:08.000 I quit smoking weed during the show.

00:10:09.000 Why'd you do that?

00:10:10.000 I thought it would help me with my...

00:10:14.000 Coordination or something?

00:10:15.000 Well, with my being there.

00:10:17.000 Concentration?

00:10:17.000 Listening, you know.

00:10:18.000 Yeah.

00:10:19.000 It's hard to learn things when you're stoned sometimes.

00:10:21.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:10:22.000 Yeah, like in jujitsu, most people agree that it's not a good idea to smoke pot when you're learning skills, but it's a good idea to smoke pot when you have the skills.

00:10:31.000 Yeah.

00:10:32.000 It'll calm you down.

00:10:33.000 Yeah, when you roll and you already know what to do, it's like instinctive, then you can smoke some pot.

00:10:37.000 Yeah.

00:10:38.000 But like learning, like if someone shows me a new move and I'm high, I can't even figure out where the body's going.

00:10:42.000 I'm like, wait a minute, where's your arm?

00:10:44.000 How am I doing this?

00:10:45.000 You get too high.

00:10:46.000 And then what am I doing?

00:10:47.000 You get baffled.

00:10:48.000 Yeah.

00:10:49.000 Well, that's the same as Tango Weld.

00:10:51.000 So you really think that that happened to you because of that?

00:10:54.000 See, I had prostate cancer.

00:10:57.000 And it was a kind of prostate that was so slow acting.

00:11:01.000 The lazy ass doctor said, well, we won't do it.

00:11:03.000 We'll just leave it alone and you'll probably die of something else before that happens.

00:11:08.000 That was his attitude?

00:11:09.000 That was their attitude.

00:11:10.000 Jesus Christ.

00:11:11.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 It happens all the time, you know, because, you know, prostate can be very slow.

00:11:16.000 And I had a slow one.

00:11:18.000 But I had a biopsy when I had one to find out.

00:11:22.000 Because I was going to do the growth hormone therapy.

00:11:25.000 And that's why I checked out my blood to make sure I didn't have cancer.

00:11:30.000 Found out I had prostate cancer.

00:11:32.000 But they did a biopsy.

00:11:33.000 And I think that could have done it.

00:11:36.000 You know, in a biopsy, they come and take a piece of your...

00:11:38.000 So you think that taking a biopsy could have caused damage, which could have led to cancer?

00:11:43.000 Could have caused the cancer cell to hit the rectum the way it did.

00:11:49.000 And so I've got a bag now.

00:11:50.000 I've got a colostomy bag.

00:11:53.000 But I'm totally healed now, and I'm good to go.

00:12:00.000 So I don't know if it was the lack of weed and the stress and the fact that I had prostate.

00:12:10.000 So when they fixed the rectal, and I got one of the best doctors, Kajandian.

00:12:15.000 What did they have to do?

00:12:16.000 They had to operate.

00:12:17.000 They had to change the plumbing from the front From the back to the front.

00:12:24.000 That's a colostomy bag.

00:12:25.000 So I have no more rectum.

00:12:28.000 So I'm a virgin again.

00:12:28.000 Wow.

00:12:31.000 I'm kidding.

00:12:32.000 And then you put the bag around to the front, and that's all they did there.

00:12:38.000 But what they did, they swept the prostate clean with the radiation.

00:12:42.000 They said, we're down there anyway, so we might as well do their prostate too.

00:12:46.000 So they fixed the prostate.

00:12:48.000 And thank God I never had it taken out because now I got the sleeping giant is awoke again.

00:12:57.000 Sleeping giant?

00:12:58.000 Yeah.

00:12:59.000 I woke the sleeping giant up.

00:13:01.000 I think it was the weed that did it, too, plus my gorgeous wife.

00:13:04.000 But yeah, I started getting these urges, and I thought, oh, what's happening here?

00:13:09.000 And I'm doing testosterone.

00:13:11.000 That's probably what did it.

00:13:12.000 Yeah, the testosterone.

00:13:14.000 And then I'm going in for a shot tomorrow.

00:13:17.000 It's a new procedure that they use...

00:13:23.000 Apparently to help induce labor because it's all about blood flow down there.

00:13:28.000 And so it's going to induce...

00:13:29.000 I tried pills.

00:13:30.000 I tried Viagra.

00:13:31.000 You know, it doesn't work enough.

00:13:35.000 And so I'm going in tomorrow for an injection of some help to blood flow to help the giant get a little more awake.

00:13:44.000 Now, when you went to jail, you had a...

00:13:47.000 The case was horrible.

00:13:49.000 I mean, it was so depressing to hear that you were going to jail for making bongs.

00:13:53.000 Yeah.

00:13:54.000 I mean, the whole thing was so sick, and that they were threatening to put your family in jail, and that's why they sent you to jail.

00:14:00.000 You couldn't smoke pot for a while after that, right?

00:14:03.000 How long?

00:14:03.000 For years.

00:14:06.000 Probably three years.

00:14:07.000 Because you're on probation.

00:14:08.000 Probation.

00:14:08.000 Pre-probation.

00:14:09.000 Before you went to jail.

00:14:11.000 Pre-trial.

00:14:12.000 Because if you get caught, then you end up getting tortured.

00:14:15.000 The whole time I was there, nine months I was there.

00:14:18.000 I couldn't smoke.

00:14:19.000 They tested me all the time.

00:14:21.000 They tried to catch me.

00:14:23.000 They had nothing to catch.

00:14:24.000 And then a year after that, I was on probation and I never smoked.

00:14:28.000 I can quit.

00:14:29.000 You know, I got willpower.

00:14:31.000 I can quit.

00:14:32.000 I quit smoking.

00:14:33.000 I quit drinking.

00:14:34.000 Eating bad food.

00:14:34.000 I quit drinking.

00:14:36.000 One thing that happened that was great was that you became even more of a hero to the cannabis community.

00:14:43.000 Because people knew you truly were a martyr.

00:14:46.000 And it was outrageous.

00:14:48.000 And it was so wrong that even people that didn't smoke pot were like, how the fuck are you arresting Tommy Chong?

00:14:55.000 Come on, man.

00:14:56.000 All the terrorists in the world, the criminals, the rapists, the murderers.

00:14:59.000 I know.

00:15:00.000 You're going to put Tommy Chong in jail.

00:15:01.000 Yeah.

00:15:02.000 Like, what are we, protecting or serving?

00:15:03.000 What are we doing here?

00:15:04.000 Which one?

00:15:05.000 Which one is that?

00:15:06.000 Yeah, they were just showing off.

00:15:09.000 But once I got in there, I was in there with a lot of people that were unjustly incarcerated.

00:15:15.000 I was in there with the orthopedic surgeon for the Rams, and he had been in a tax, it was legal at the time he did it, which was that he had a big car collection.

00:15:30.000 And he rode off the car collection somehow.

00:15:33.000 And then the IRS changed people, and next thing you know, they came to him and said, you owe all this money, and if you don't pay it, you've got to go to jail.

00:15:44.000 And he couldn't pay it, so he went to jail.

00:15:47.000 He's an orthopedic surgeon.

00:15:49.000 He's one of the straightest guys I've ever met.

00:15:52.000 And there was another guy that figured out the OJ tax scheme.

00:15:57.000 You know how OJ can keep his money from the NFL? Pension because he's in Florida?

00:16:04.000 Yeah, well, it's a law, a loophole that allowed OJ to keep his taxes.

00:16:13.000 I mean, tax-free money.

00:16:15.000 And so this accountant figured out how to do it, and he started getting rich people so they didn't have to pay taxes.

00:16:23.000 And so rather than to change the law or do anything like that, they just put his ass in jail.

00:16:29.000 Because they could.

00:16:30.000 And they put him in there for a year.

00:16:32.000 And he wasn't doing anything illegal?

00:16:33.000 Nothing illegal.

00:16:35.000 And then they told him, you're going to get out in a year, but you're not going to do that tax thing anymore.

00:16:44.000 Yeah.

00:16:44.000 Wow.

00:16:45.000 No one owed the government.

00:16:46.000 The IRS is creepy.

00:16:47.000 You do not want to owe them money.

00:16:50.000 Especially if you're Trump.

00:16:51.000 Oh.

00:16:52.000 Well, they're coming after him right now, right?

00:16:53.000 Yeah.

00:16:54.000 What are they coming after him for now?

00:16:56.000 New York State is allowing Congress to subpoena his tax returns?

00:17:00.000 Oh yeah.

00:17:01.000 Deutsche Bank.

00:17:02.000 They got his accountant.

00:17:05.000 Nothing to do with the federal government.

00:17:07.000 I tell everybody, why would you want to be president?

00:17:09.000 Why would you want to do that to yourself?

00:17:12.000 Unless you're super clean.

00:17:13.000 Even if you're super clean, they're going to make shit up about you.

00:17:16.000 No, the only reason Trump did it is because he owes Putin so much money.

00:17:20.000 You think so?

00:17:21.000 Oh, for sure.

00:17:23.000 For sure.

00:17:24.000 How did this loser billionaire get financed over and over and over again?

00:17:29.000 And guess who's laundering money like crazy from Russia?

00:17:33.000 The guy that needs the money.

00:17:36.000 No, the whole Trump family is going to go down.

00:17:38.000 Oh, for sure.

00:17:38.000 You think so?

00:17:40.000 Taxes, man.

00:17:42.000 Al Capone to Donald Trump.

00:17:44.000 You can't evade taxes.

00:17:46.000 So do you think that he owes taxes?

00:17:49.000 He owes Putin.

00:17:51.000 He owes Putin so much money that he's scared to death.

00:17:55.000 How do you know this?

00:17:57.000 Common sense.

00:17:58.000 Oh, okay.

00:17:59.000 So it's a guess.

00:18:00.000 Oh, no.

00:18:01.000 Figure it out.

00:18:02.000 Okay.

00:18:03.000 Let's go down to history.

00:18:06.000 Comey is a FBI. Right.

00:18:10.000 Mueller, the FBI. Trump was attacking Obama with a birther.

00:18:18.000 Obama's a president.

00:18:20.000 Obama's got control of the FBI, CIA, everybody.

00:18:24.000 So Obama said, okay, find out about this Trump guy.

00:18:28.000 So they found out about him.

00:18:30.000 But the thing is, they can't really do anything unless he becomes president.

00:18:37.000 Other than that, he'd just walk away free.

00:18:40.000 No one would get a decision.

00:18:41.000 No one cares.

00:18:42.000 He can't do anything unless he becomes president?

00:18:45.000 Yeah.

00:18:45.000 Or you mean the FBI can't do anything?

00:18:47.000 No, there's no breaking the law.

00:18:48.000 There's no law that says that you can't deal with Russia.

00:18:52.000 Only law says that you can't deal with Russia and be the president of the United States at the same time.

00:18:52.000 Right.

00:18:57.000 The only time he would break any laws is that if he became president.

00:18:57.000 Right.

00:19:01.000 Right.

00:19:02.000 And he has to become president.

00:19:04.000 And he became president.

00:19:07.000 Thanks to Comey.

00:19:09.000 Because Hillary was going to win.

00:19:11.000 No matter what they say, Hillary was going to win.

00:19:14.000 Until Comey said, oh, some new stuff came up.

00:19:19.000 And they knew, they knew back in Obama time that there was nothing really wrong that Hillary did.

00:19:27.000 Nothing.

00:19:28.000 Well, they told her to release emails and she deleted 30,000 of them.

00:19:33.000 But she wasn't supposed to do that.

00:19:33.000 So?

00:19:35.000 That's illegal.

00:19:36.000 And she was using her own personal email server instead of the government's.

00:19:40.000 It was out of laziness and convenience more than anything illegal.

00:19:47.000 You know, she wasn't looking to get financed to her hotel by the Russians.

00:19:52.000 You know, she wasn't looking for money.

00:19:54.000 Her and Bill had money.

00:19:55.000 They got money.

00:19:56.000 Yeah, it's a little fishy, little stinky stuff around there.

00:20:01.000 But it's normal.

00:20:03.000 Normal politics.

00:20:04.000 So my theory is that Comey and the FBI said, let's get this guy.

00:20:10.000 So you think they let him become president so they can get him?

00:20:13.000 I think Barr is part of the...

00:20:17.000 The Comey Gang.

00:20:18.000 You know what's going to be hilarious about this video?

00:20:21.000 When people watch this, they're going to go, how high is Tom Chum?

00:20:25.000 Tommy Chong thinks that Comey made Trump president so they could prosecute him.

00:20:31.000 That's an interesting theory.

00:20:33.000 I don't know if I buy it.

00:20:35.000 I don't think anybody's controlling the strings that well.

00:20:37.000 I don't think the puppeteers are that good.

00:20:40.000 Listen, look at everybody that was around Trump that became chief of staff and everything else.

00:20:45.000 All military.

00:20:47.000 Why?

00:20:48.000 Because Trump's got his finger on the button.

00:20:52.000 He's got ability to get on the button.

00:20:55.000 And so, in order to keep him in line, they got people around him that can keep him in line.

00:21:00.000 Yeah?

00:21:01.000 And the FBI, they can infiltrate anything.

00:21:01.000 Yeah.

00:21:04.000 They infiltrated the mob for years.

00:21:06.000 They infiltrated the Hells Angels.

00:21:08.000 Do you think they couldn't infiltrate Donald Trump's gang?

00:21:12.000 But do you think they were trying to?

00:21:13.000 Absolutely!

00:21:14.000 Just because of him going after Obama with the birther stuff?

00:21:18.000 It's a start.

00:21:20.000 You know?

00:21:20.000 You mess with the president.

00:21:21.000 Look at Adonardi.

00:21:22.000 But a lot of people were saying he was from Kenya, right?

00:21:25.000 There was some ridiculous Photoshop analysis of his birth certificate.

00:21:30.000 Anything to keep a black guy from being a president.

00:21:32.000 Yeah.

00:21:33.000 And that's what they found out, you see?

00:21:35.000 And the FBI and the federal laws, you know, against racism, and that's pretty strict, pretty heavy, you know, until Trump got in.

00:21:45.000 So, anyway, this is my theory.

00:21:47.000 That's some stony-ass theory right there.

00:21:50.000 Yeah, like, I really feel that Giuliani is part of the scheme to keep Trump.

00:21:56.000 You know, with hope.

00:21:58.000 Well, he gives him hope.

00:22:00.000 You know, hey, they can't look at your taxes.

00:22:02.000 You're the president, for Christ's sake.

00:22:04.000 You know, you're the supreme leader.

00:22:07.000 Well, there's some things they won't do when you're in office.

00:22:12.000 Absolutely.

00:22:12.000 They won't indict you for certain things once you're in office.

00:22:15.000 And so they plan it.

00:22:16.000 Well, look what Mueller said.

00:22:17.000 He says, I'm going to hand this off to the Congress.

00:22:20.000 You can impeach him.

00:22:24.000 Here's all the evidence you need to impeach him.

00:22:26.000 And now the Democrats have got to figure out, are we going to impeach him, go through that, or are we just going to go to the election and beat his ass in the election and then arrest him after the election?

00:22:35.000 Who do you think is going to beat him in the election?

00:22:37.000 Anybody?

00:22:38.000 Anybody?

00:22:39.000 You think Joe Biden can beat him?

00:22:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:41.000 Really?

00:22:42.000 You are high, huh?

00:22:44.000 No.

00:22:44.000 Strong weed.

00:22:45.000 Where are you getting it?

00:22:46.000 Well, look at the Trump backers, for instance.

00:22:50.000 Right.

00:22:51.000 Can you find one thinker in that backing group?

00:22:55.000 Well, I mean, who we're talking about?

00:22:57.000 Same thing.

00:22:59.000 You know, can think.

00:23:01.000 Racism binds you.

00:23:03.000 Right.

00:23:04.000 Because racism is ignorance.

00:23:07.000 It's a form of ignorance.

00:23:08.000 I've got it in...

00:23:09.000 I had it in my family, you know.

00:23:11.000 So I know exactly.

00:23:12.000 I've been, you know...

00:23:14.000 I'm kissing clothes too racist.

00:23:16.000 And I know that mentality.

00:23:19.000 Pure ignorance.

00:23:20.000 Yeah, pure ignorance.

00:23:21.000 And ignorance doesn't stop with one thing.

00:23:24.000 It carries on to a lot of other things.

00:23:27.000 Like work and all sorts of things.

00:23:30.000 And so when you look at the people that are opposing Trump...

00:23:35.000 You know, the women, the kids, the intellectuals, the liberals, the progressives, all those people, they want a good future for our country,

00:23:50.000 you know?

00:23:51.000 The other ones, they just want to keep everybody else out, or perceived enemies.

00:23:57.000 It's perceived enemies, like anybody with a gun.

00:24:00.000 That's the whole thing, you know?

00:24:02.000 If you have a gun, you're not very intelligent.

00:24:05.000 Why's that?

00:24:06.000 Because you're paranoid.

00:24:08.000 Wait a minute.

00:24:10.000 If you have a gun, you're not intelligent because you're paranoid?

00:24:15.000 Having a gun means that you're afraid that someone's going to come and attack you.

00:24:21.000 Right.

00:24:22.000 And so having a gun is...

00:24:25.000 Like they want to arm teachers, for instance.

00:24:28.000 That seems kind of crazy.

00:24:29.000 That is so stupid.

00:24:31.000 It is so dumb.

00:24:32.000 Right.

00:24:33.000 And just like the ones that know about guns, like the cops that didn't go into the school, they knew the guy's got an AK. They're not going to go into that school with their little pistols.

00:24:45.000 And so they didn't go into the school.

00:24:47.000 And the ones that rushed the guy, they ended up dying.

00:24:50.000 So what I'm saying is that if you have a gun, if you think you need a gun for your house, for whatever, if you think you have something that's worth someone else's life, then you are ignorant.

00:25:02.000 Well, I don't necessarily think that's what they think.

00:25:04.000 They don't think that the gun is worth someone else's life.

00:25:06.000 They think they don't want to get their life taken by a home invasion, which does happen.

00:25:10.000 Did you see that video of the guy that had a raccoon on his boat?

00:25:15.000 No.

00:25:16.000 He had a raccoon on his boat?

00:25:19.000 A pet raccoon?

00:25:20.000 No.

00:25:21.000 It was a wild raccoon and he filmed it.

00:25:23.000 And he's 20 miles out in the sea and he sees this raccoon and so he filmed himself kicking the raccoon off the boat.

00:25:31.000 Into the ocean?

00:25:32.000 Into the ocean.

00:25:33.000 He filmed it.

00:25:34.000 And then he posted it.

00:25:37.000 Because he had no idea how ignorant that was.

00:25:40.000 He had no idea.

00:25:41.000 Was the raccoon dangerous?

00:25:44.000 Raccoons will fuck you up.

00:25:45.000 They will fuck you up.

00:25:46.000 Well, sure.

00:25:47.000 But the wildlife guys said, just get a blanket.

00:25:47.000 Sure.

00:25:53.000 Throw it over and put them in the bathroom.

00:25:55.000 Until you get close to shore.

00:25:57.000 Then kick them off.

00:25:58.000 Yeah.

00:25:58.000 But this guy, right away, he freaked out.

00:26:00.000 He said, this is my boat.

00:26:01.000 Get off my boat.

00:26:02.000 Terrible way for a raccoon to die, too.

00:26:04.000 Well, see, that's the form of ignorance that I'm talking about.

00:26:08.000 It's also just fear.

00:26:09.000 It's fear.

00:26:10.000 That's what fear is.

00:26:11.000 Fear is ignorance.

00:26:12.000 Right, but if someone has a gun in their house to protect themselves from home invasions, home invasions do happen.

00:26:17.000 And people have saved their family with guns.

00:26:20.000 That's a real thing.

00:26:21.000 Well, you don't read about that much.

00:26:22.000 Oh, you read about it plenty if you go looking for it.

00:26:24.000 Really?

00:26:25.000 Yeah, there's plenty of stories.

00:26:27.000 If you look at the overall, they have like a pie chart of gun violence in this country.

00:26:33.000 And an unfortunately large number is suicides.

00:26:37.000 When they start talking about how many people have died, unfortunately a large number is suicide by gun.

00:26:41.000 And I feel like if people are going to kill themselves with a gun, they'll probably kill themselves with pills or anything else if they had that as well, right?

00:26:47.000 And then there's justifiable homicides by the police.

00:26:51.000 There's people that are protecting their house.

00:26:55.000 There's a bunch of different – there's gang violence.

00:26:57.000 There's a bunch of different things that get lumped in when we talk about gun violence.

00:27:00.000 But a certain percentage of them are people that are protecting their house or their family from someone who's trying to hurt them.

00:27:07.000 It does happen occasionally.

00:27:09.000 I'm in business with an ex-pilot from Vietnam.

00:27:14.000 And I'm quite sure he has a sidearm in his house.

00:27:19.000 But it would be useless because it's so locked away and so hidden by the time anything happened.

00:27:25.000 By the time he got to that gun and got it loaded and found the ammunition in the house.

00:27:29.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:27:30.000 Or maybe he could keep it right by his bed.

00:27:32.000 No, but I'm saying...

00:27:33.000 In this one instance.

00:27:36.000 And then what if it's your...

00:27:38.000 Daughter or something coming in late at night and you mistake her for...

00:27:42.000 Well, you open your mouth and you say something.

00:27:45.000 Possibly.

00:27:45.000 And you just go shooting into the dark.

00:27:47.000 Or what if you have homicidal tendencies and you've been...

00:27:52.000 See, one thing I learned about guns, because I grew up with guns, too.

00:27:56.000 I grew up in the country.

00:27:58.000 Where'd you grow up?

00:27:59.000 In Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

00:28:00.000 Oh, really?

00:28:01.000 Oh, that's right.

00:28:01.000 You're Canadian.

00:28:02.000 Crazy.

00:28:02.000 Yeah.

00:28:03.000 And so guns.

00:28:04.000 Guns were...

00:28:05.000 Did you ever think about moving back up there?

00:28:06.000 Oh, no.

00:28:07.000 I lived up there.

00:28:09.000 Oh, no.

00:28:11.000 L.A. is where you want to be.

00:28:13.000 But I grew up with guns where you actually needed a gun, especially when the hawks are coming down to get your chickens or some stuff like that.

00:28:25.000 But I've seen the gun culture in Calgary, and it turned me off because I've seen kids...

00:28:35.000 They would take a stray dog and bring him up to the field and tie him to a tree or something or a post and then shoot him.

00:28:45.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:28:46.000 Shoot him.

00:28:47.000 That is sport.

00:28:51.000 Here's the thing about guns.

00:28:52.000 I went duck hunting with my brother one time.

00:29:03.000 Is that your phone?

00:29:05.000 Yeah.

00:29:07.000 I'm sorry.

00:29:08.000 It's your wrist.

00:29:08.000 It's okay.

00:29:09.000 It's your wrist.

00:29:10.000 Your wrist is ringing.

00:29:12.000 He turned it off.

00:29:14.000 No, we went duck hunting, and we're waiting there for hours for the ducks to come over.

00:29:18.000 And my brother, he got bored, and there's a muskrat swimming across the thing, so he shot it with a shotgun.

00:29:24.000 And he walks out into the middle of the slough, picks up the muskrat as the ducks flew over top of us.

00:29:33.000 Just stupidity, man.

00:29:35.000 Well, that's definitely stupid.

00:29:36.000 But there's responsible gun owners, don't you think?

00:29:41.000 Well, as they are, like, I was an Army cadet, and when we had practice, I'm a sharpshooter, by the way.

00:29:47.000 Yeah, I got some, what do you call it, patches, you know, sharpshooter, 300 yards.

00:29:47.000 Yeah?

00:29:55.000 So I know how to handle a rifle anyway.

00:29:59.000 But when we go shooting, we would have to, first of all, we never got the weapon.

00:30:07.000 And until we marched down into firing position, then we were handed the weapon and one bullet.

00:30:15.000 And then we put the bullet in, shoot the target, another bullet, shoot the target.

00:30:20.000 And then when we were finished, we had to pick up all our casings and give them back.

00:30:25.000 And if anything was missing, no one left until they found that missing bullet.

00:30:30.000 And that's gun safety.

00:30:32.000 Then the gun was taken from us and put it in an armory.

00:30:36.000 It's only used when you're going to use it.

00:30:39.000 Just like walking around with a skill saw.

00:30:41.000 You can have a license to carry a skill saw, but you don't have a skill saw strapped to your side.

00:30:46.000 You can take out and try your skill saw anytime you want.

00:30:50.000 The open carry thing is very strange.

00:30:53.000 When you see people walking around with guns strapped to their hips in Arizona, you're like, okay.

00:30:57.000 They're targets.

00:30:58.000 Once you do that, you're a target.

00:31:00.000 In a way, yeah.

00:31:01.000 It's like the bikers.

00:31:03.000 Bikers, you know, the Hells Angels and the Mongols and that, they're the only crime and syndicate I know that advertise.

00:31:11.000 On their back.

00:31:13.000 Look at me.

00:31:14.000 Look at me.

00:31:14.000 I'm a thug.

00:31:16.000 I extort.

00:31:18.000 I beat up people.

00:31:20.000 I kill people.

00:31:21.000 And I ride on a big hog.

00:31:24.000 It's crazy.

00:31:26.000 But people do that for recognition.

00:31:29.000 That's like mass shooters.

00:31:30.000 That's what they do it for.

00:31:31.000 Get their name in the paper.

00:31:32.000 Look what I did.

00:31:34.000 Look at the useless old me.

00:31:35.000 I'm not so useless.

00:31:37.000 The craziest thing about mass shooters is guns have been around for a long time, but this is not a thing that's been around for a long time.

00:31:44.000 This is a fairly recent thing that keeps erupting over and over and over again.

00:31:48.000 I don't know.

00:31:49.000 You were too young to remember, but...

00:31:51.000 When I was a kid, the crime comics were banned.

00:31:57.000 They were banned?

00:31:58.000 They were banned because they were bad.

00:32:00.000 They showed violence.

00:32:02.000 Comic books?

00:32:03.000 Comic books.

00:32:04.000 Wow.

00:32:05.000 And they were people up in arms about comic books.

00:32:09.000 And now, you've got video games where you've got to be a masked killer.

00:32:14.000 Well, how about movies?

00:32:15.000 You know, I mean, so many movies.

00:32:16.000 Movies!

00:32:17.000 John Wick movies.

00:32:18.000 Everybody's getting shot.

00:32:19.000 Everybody.

00:32:20.000 Yeah.

00:32:20.000 One of my favorites is Peppermint.

00:32:23.000 What's that?

00:32:23.000 Peppermint?

00:32:24.000 Jennifer Gardner.

00:32:27.000 Have you seen that?

00:32:28.000 Oh, check it out.

00:32:28.000 No.

00:32:29.000 She's a superhero.

00:32:30.000 Oh.

00:32:31.000 Her name is Peppermint?

00:32:32.000 The name of the movie is Peppermint.

00:32:35.000 Have you heard of this, Jamie?

00:32:36.000 You have?

00:32:37.000 I remember like in the last eight months or something.

00:32:39.000 Not that long ago.

00:32:39.000 Really?

00:32:40.000 What?

00:32:40.000 It's great.

00:32:41.000 Really?

00:32:42.000 I've watched about three times now.

00:32:44.000 What?

00:32:45.000 Yeah.

00:32:46.000 Why have you watched so many times?

00:32:47.000 I think Jennifer Gardner is kind of hot.

00:32:49.000 Oh, okay.

00:32:50.000 And to see her with the guns and everything.

00:32:54.000 And the third time, I realized a lot of it were stunt people.

00:32:58.000 How can you tell?

00:33:00.000 Just, I've seen it so many times, it wasn't Jennifer.

00:33:02.000 Oh, okay, so you're looking for everything.

00:33:04.000 Yeah, I'm looking for that little thing, yeah.

00:33:06.000 But, again, that's the kind of violence that we get shown.

00:33:10.000 And people get immune.

00:33:13.000 Yes.

00:33:13.000 And especially...

00:33:17.000 People, they get stupid, you know.

00:33:20.000 Like when I was a kid, I saw a picture, my brother died recently, and there's a whole picture, photo thing of him and I when we were kids.

00:33:28.000 And they used to get put under the Christmas tree, six guns.

00:33:34.000 And when we're little guys, we were three or four years old, I had six guns strapped to myself, you know, because Roy Rogers and Gene Audrey, and that was a big deal, you know, you had your six gun shooters,

00:33:49.000 but you never shot anybody, you just shot the gun under their hand, you know.

00:33:53.000 Yeah, that was the old days.

00:33:55.000 Right?

00:33:55.000 The good guys always shot people in the hand.

00:33:57.000 They shot the gun away from them.

00:33:59.000 Alright, you got me.

00:34:04.000 Different world.

00:34:05.000 Yeah, it is.

00:34:06.000 Going from the old days to Big Bamboo to where we're at today, where you're actually in the weed business now.

00:34:14.000 Oh, you know it.

00:34:15.000 John's Choice.

00:34:16.000 Which is crazy, right?

00:34:17.000 It's like you were arrested for just selling glass.

00:34:20.000 How many years ago?

00:34:21.000 Was that like 15, 16?

00:34:23.000 03. 03. 16 years ago.

00:34:25.000 03. So 16 years ago, you were arrested for just selling glass.

00:34:28.000 2019, you're selling full-on weed legally.

00:34:31.000 In four or five countries.

00:34:33.000 That's crazy.

00:34:34.000 Germany, Spain, Canada.

00:34:36.000 You were so ahead of the curve.

00:34:38.000 Yeah.

00:34:39.000 But you were one of the real OGs that paid a price.

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 And, you know, now it's got to be nice to see that your influence had something to do with all this.

00:34:51.000 It did.

00:34:51.000 It feels really well.

00:34:52.000 It really did.

00:34:53.000 All your movies.

00:34:54.000 I mean, you guys made Weed look fun.

00:34:56.000 Yeah.

00:34:56.000 It was fun.

00:34:57.000 Yeah, but everybody made it out like, you know, you go from, if you think about propaganda, positive and negative, you go from Reefer Madness, which is the most negative, to the Cheech and Chong movies, which is probably the most positive.

00:35:07.000 Most positive.

00:35:08.000 Up until like Half Baked, that was the most positive Weed stuff we ever saw, right?

00:35:13.000 Yeah.

00:35:14.000 Super positive.

00:35:15.000 It was all just silly and fun.

00:35:17.000 Crazy.

00:35:18.000 Crazy.

00:35:18.000 Silly humor.

00:35:20.000 Ghetto humor.

00:35:21.000 Yeah.

00:35:21.000 You know, a lot of ghetto humor.

00:35:23.000 And I wanted to be the rich guy.

00:35:26.000 You know, the kid of the rich guy.

00:35:28.000 Because that's what the 60s happened.

00:35:30.000 You know, all the hippie.

00:35:31.000 You know, in order to get laid, you had to be a hippie.

00:35:34.000 And so, all the rich kids growing their hair long.

00:35:38.000 You know, living on the streets.

00:35:41.000 All that stuff.

00:35:42.000 Yeah, you guys popularize vans, too.

00:35:42.000 Yeah.

00:35:46.000 Yeah, we used to say, when we'd be on some of the radio shows, and I was really popular on the right-wing radio shows.

00:35:58.000 Really?

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:00.000 I'd inflame the whole crowd.

00:36:02.000 They'd get all pissed off at me because I would out people.

00:36:07.000 I outed Danny Sullivan, the race car driver.

00:36:10.000 I said, oh yeah, Danny smokes pot.

00:36:13.000 People got mad at you for that?

00:36:15.000 It went nuts.

00:36:17.000 I think that's why I got busted.

00:36:18.000 Really?

00:36:19.000 Because I was in St. Louis on a radio show that Ashcroft listened to.

00:36:24.000 I think Ashcroft heard me and the hit went out.

00:36:30.000 People forgot how crazy that guy is.

00:36:32.000 Yeah.

00:36:32.000 Is he still alive?

00:36:34.000 That's a good question.

00:36:35.000 But do you remember when he was singing?

00:36:37.000 He had a song that he sang that he wrote about Let the Eagle Soar.

00:36:43.000 Right!

00:36:44.000 Yes, when he was Attorney General.

00:36:46.000 And it was so creepy and crazy that this person would sing.

00:36:50.000 He had a whole album of gospel music.

00:36:53.000 Like, he was a psycho.

00:36:55.000 Oh, he was.

00:36:56.000 I would love to climb inside that guy's head and find out what kind of gears are spinning around in there.

00:37:01.000 I think I did.

00:37:02.000 I think I ended up in jail for a while.

00:37:05.000 For my thing.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, he had a whole song that he sang on television.

00:37:10.000 I think he sang it...

00:37:11.000 It was either in front of Congress or something along those lines.

00:37:17.000 No, he was giving a speech somewhere.

00:37:19.000 And then along with the speech, he wanted to sing the song, Let the Eagle Soar.

00:37:24.000 Like she's never soared before.

00:37:28.000 It's so...

00:37:28.000 You want to hear it?

00:37:29.000 See if you can find it, Jamie.

00:37:30.000 It's so bad.

00:37:32.000 They got 10 seconds from a Daily Show Moment of Zen that they did with it.

00:37:36.000 Well, the video is...

00:37:38.000 No, that video looked shitty.

00:37:40.000 This is the clearest video I could find real quick.

00:37:42.000 It's just 10 seconds of it.

00:37:43.000 Okay, here's the video.

00:37:44.000 Look at this.

00:37:45.000 Look up there.

00:37:45.000 Check this out.

00:37:54.000 From Rocky Coast.

00:38:01.000 That's all you need to say.

00:38:01.000 Stop.

00:38:02.000 Like, stop.

00:38:03.000 Nothing.

00:38:03.000 You can't.

00:38:04.000 Forever, bro.

00:38:06.000 No more.

00:38:07.000 No more.

00:38:08.000 That's when you kind of say, yeah, maybe guns are okay.

00:38:11.000 Yeah, maybe everything's fine.

00:38:13.000 Maybe missiles.

00:38:14.000 But seeing a guy like that, thinking that that psychopath had any control whatsoever over any laws or anyone getting arrested, that guy is fucking insane.

00:38:24.000 He's the guy who wanted to cover the breasts on statues.

00:38:26.000 He did cover them.

00:38:27.000 He covered them?

00:38:27.000 Yes.

00:38:28.000 Yeah.

00:38:28.000 Yeah, he did.

00:38:29.000 Which brought tension to him.

00:38:30.000 Yeah.

00:38:31.000 No one noticed the tits before he put a veil over him.

00:38:34.000 Exactly.

00:38:35.000 Now they're looking at all you see is titties.

00:38:38.000 He was a spooky guy.

00:38:39.000 He was, y'all.

00:38:40.000 I found that out.

00:38:41.000 That Bush administration had some spooky fucking people there.

00:38:44.000 They really did.

00:38:45.000 It's really interesting that history whitewashes these weird old guys.

00:38:49.000 Like Ronald Reagan.

00:38:50.000 After he died, Ronald Reagan became like this patron saint of conservative thinking.

00:38:54.000 When I was in high school, Ronald Reagan was president and everybody fucking hated that guy.

00:38:59.000 They hated him.

00:39:00.000 It was like he was a creep.

00:39:02.000 You thought about him like, this guy's a fraud, he's a phony, he's lying about selling arms to Iran.

00:39:07.000 The whole thing was, it was so crazy to watch that guy become this loved figure.

00:39:12.000 I used to work out with his daughter, Patty.

00:39:14.000 Really?

00:39:15.000 Yeah.

00:39:16.000 And her and I were pretty good friends until one day I came to the gym and I saw part of a movie called Caliglia.

00:39:25.000 And she said, Oh, how did you like it?

00:39:28.000 I said, it was too faggy for me.

00:39:30.000 And apparently, Ron, her brother is very gay, and she blew it.

00:39:35.000 She blew up at me.

00:39:37.000 How dare, how can you say that?

00:39:39.000 How dare you?

00:39:40.000 Don't you know my brother?

00:39:43.000 Yeah?

00:39:44.000 So?

00:39:46.000 It's nothing to do with the movie.

00:39:48.000 I'm not into that.

00:39:49.000 That's okay.

00:39:50.000 I just don't like watching it.

00:39:51.000 It doesn't mean I don't want you to do it.

00:39:53.000 That's funny.

00:39:54.000 Yeah, Ron was like super hardcore Democrat, right?

00:39:57.000 His son.

00:39:59.000 That was an interesting little thing.

00:40:01.000 Yeah.

00:40:01.000 That his son was gay.

00:40:02.000 Well, Well, Ronnie wasn't that right-wing until he found a better path for him.

00:40:10.000 Like Trump.

00:40:11.000 Yeah, Ronnie was a Democrat.

00:40:13.000 Like Trump.

00:40:14.000 Yeah, when he was younger.

00:40:16.000 See, when they get older.

00:40:18.000 That always happens.

00:40:19.000 Old guys get paranoid.

00:40:20.000 Well, they also get paranoid.

00:40:21.000 They start wanting to tighten up the borders.

00:40:24.000 Lock and load.

00:40:25.000 Let the eagle soar, like she's never soared before.

00:40:33.000 Imagine, like, sitting down, writing that out, and then singing it with all that emotion and passion, as if that makes any fucking sense to anyone.

00:40:41.000 Well, obviously, there is no...

00:40:47.000 Stopping him, you know.

00:40:48.000 Yeah, he's a fucking moron.

00:40:49.000 And the song's about a bird that's an evil raptor.

00:40:53.000 Like, a raptor.

00:40:54.000 Like, an eagle is a fucking monstrous animal who'll eat babies.

00:40:58.000 They'll eat anything they can get their hands on.

00:41:00.000 They swoop down and snatch fish right out of the fucking river.

00:41:03.000 I mean, they're amazing creatures.

00:41:05.000 I don't hate eagles, but the idea that that's America.

00:41:08.000 America is a fucking vicious flying dinosaur.

00:41:11.000 It's kind of hilarious.

00:41:13.000 It really is kind of hilarious that that's our animal.

00:41:16.000 It's funny, man.

00:41:18.000 No, I pissed off a lot of people in, you know, not meaning to.

00:41:23.000 But it was a different time.

00:41:24.000 You know what we used to say when they would attack us, you know, and say, what if we're right?

00:41:29.000 What if everything we're doing is right and you're wrong?

00:41:33.000 And next thing you know, we were right.

00:41:35.000 Yeah.

00:41:36.000 Well, you were right the whole time.

00:41:37.000 Yeah.

00:41:38.000 And, you know, I remember when I first started smoking weed, I was, well, I had smoked it a couple of times up until I was 30. And then when I was 30, my friend Eddie, Eddie Bravo, got me high for the first time.

00:41:49.000 I remember I couldn't believe that this was what pot was.

00:41:52.000 I was like, this is it?

00:41:53.000 I thought it made you stupid.

00:41:54.000 Like, oh, I can't stop thinking about things.

00:41:56.000 Like, yeah, some of the thoughts are a little unorganized and kind of chaotic, but it wasn't making me lazy.

00:42:03.000 It wasn't doing any of these things that people were claiming it did.

00:42:05.000 It didn't make me stupid.

00:42:06.000 It made me curious.

00:42:08.000 Yeah.

00:42:08.000 Made me want to watch science documentaries.

00:42:10.000 Yeah.

00:42:11.000 And eat.

00:42:11.000 Yeah.

00:42:12.000 And eat.

00:42:13.000 And eat.

00:42:14.000 Food tasted so good.

00:42:15.000 I can't believe how good this food tastes.

00:42:18.000 I know.

00:42:19.000 It is one of the biggest puzzles of modern times is that even in 2019, with all these states that have legalized it, there's still a bunch of people that think that pot is bad for you and that it makes you lazy.

00:42:32.000 I always say that pot is like any other tool.

00:42:35.000 It's like a hammer.

00:42:35.000 Yeah.

00:42:36.000 You could build a house with a hammer, or you could just hit yourself in the dick if you're fucking crazy.

00:42:40.000 And it's the same thing with pot.

00:42:42.000 You could use pot, and it can enhance your life, and it can enhance your relationship, and it makes you friendlier, more camaraderie, more compassion, or you could just get stoned all day and do nothing.

00:42:42.000 That's exactly it.

00:42:54.000 You got that goddamn phone ringing on your wrist again.

00:42:56.000 No, he's got it.

00:42:57.000 Does that freak you out, having that thing?

00:42:58.000 I had one of those on my wrist for a day, and I was like, what am I doing?

00:43:02.000 I don't know how to work it, so it's just decoration for me.

00:43:07.000 Why do I have a regular watch then?

00:43:09.000 My son got it for me.

00:43:11.000 Oh, okay.

00:43:12.000 Paris got it because he updates my everything.

00:43:15.000 Oh, okay, okay.

00:43:16.000 If it wasn't for Paris, I'd still be riding a bike.

00:43:20.000 Yeah, I had one of those that I was using for a while for fitness tracking stuff, but then I got this Whoop.

00:43:26.000 I got this other thing that's quite a bit more accurate and does more stuff.

00:43:31.000 You're 51?

00:43:32.000 51, yeah.

00:43:33.000 Wow.

00:43:34.000 Good shape, man.

00:43:35.000 Thank you.

00:43:36.000 I'm scared.

00:43:37.000 I work out all the time because I'm terrified of it falling apart.

00:43:37.000 Never let it go.

00:43:41.000 Well, no, you're hooked on the adrenaline.

00:43:43.000 You're hooked on the endorphins.

00:43:46.000 It's also for mental health reasons.

00:43:46.000 Yeah, but that too.

00:43:48.000 Like, for me, I need to exercise.

00:43:51.000 Well, like Arnold, you know, when I first came to L.A., the first thing I did was join Gold's Gym because I read about it, you know, up in Vancouver.

00:44:03.000 And then I met Arnold and all the guys and And they were so healthy.

00:44:08.000 You know, if he took a sip of seven up, he'd spit it out.

00:44:12.000 Yeah.

00:44:12.000 Really?

00:44:13.000 And he was super, super healthy.

00:44:15.000 But he smoked a joint.

00:44:17.000 He would smoke a joint.

00:44:19.000 That was another thing.

00:44:19.000 Pumping iron.

00:44:20.000 That documentary Pumping Iron.

00:44:21.000 So him, after he won, smoking a joint.

00:44:24.000 Smoking a joint.

00:44:25.000 And made Pot look bad.

00:44:26.000 Like, wow, this guy smoked Pot?

00:44:27.000 That's right.

00:44:28.000 How the fuck does Pot make you a loser if the biggest bodybuilder on the planet?

00:44:32.000 The most successful.

00:44:33.000 Yes.

00:44:34.000 Successful guy, yeah.

00:44:34.000 By far.

00:44:35.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 I outed him one time, like I outed everybody, and Arnold was walking with Stallone at the time.

00:44:43.000 There's that famous picture.

00:44:45.000 Arnold is numero uno.

00:44:45.000 Yeah.

00:44:47.000 They asked Arnold, you know, Tommy Chong said that he smoked pot with you, and Stallone jumped in right away.

00:44:53.000 Oh, no, that's a lie.

00:44:54.000 That's a lie.

00:44:55.000 He never smoked.

00:44:56.000 And Arnold said, no, no.

00:44:57.000 Yeah, we did smoke pot.

00:44:59.000 We knew how to enjoy ourselves back then.

00:45:01.000 Yeah.

00:45:02.000 Why was Stallone trying to cover it up?

00:45:04.000 Well, Stallone is Stallone.

00:45:04.000 That's true.

00:45:06.000 Those Rambo movies.

00:45:07.000 I got some good stories on Stallone, but...

00:45:10.000 You remember Jordan Belford?

00:45:13.000 Jordan Belford.

00:45:14.000 The Wolf of Wall Street?

00:45:15.000 Yes.

00:45:16.000 Yeah, I was in jail with him.

00:45:17.000 Oh.

00:45:18.000 I helped him write his book.

00:45:20.000 Yeah.

00:45:20.000 Really?

00:45:21.000 In fact, all I did was insult him and made him write his book.

00:45:25.000 Because I was writing my book, and he started, he said, what are you doing?

00:45:29.000 I'm writing, because we shared a cubicle.

00:45:31.000 And I said, I'm writing my book.

00:45:33.000 He says, oh, I'm going to write a book.

00:45:34.000 So he wrote a couple of pages, and he handed it to me like, hey, read this, you know.

00:45:38.000 And I read it, and it was like a copy of Tom Wolfe, you know, Bonfires and Vanities.

00:45:44.000 And I said, you haven't written shit.

00:45:46.000 And I handed it back to him.

00:45:49.000 And he said, what do you mean?

00:45:50.000 I said, you haven't written nothing.

00:45:52.000 He said, what should I write?

00:45:54.000 He challenged me.

00:45:56.000 I said, write what you know.

00:45:58.000 I said, write those stories you've been telling me every night.

00:46:02.000 There's one rule that you've got to remember when you're writing or doing anything.

00:46:05.000 It's called the most of.

00:46:08.000 So you don't just get high.

00:46:11.000 You get higher than anybody's ever gotten in their life if you're going to put it on screen.

00:46:16.000 You don't just have a fight.

00:46:18.000 You have a fight that goes on forever.

00:46:21.000 That's the kind of stuff you need that people are interested in.

00:46:24.000 And so he said, you didn't talk to me for about...

00:46:27.000 About a month after that.

00:46:29.000 He was mad at you?

00:46:30.000 Yeah, he was just writing, I'll show this guy.

00:46:32.000 And he wrote The Wolf of Wall Street.

00:46:34.000 Really?

00:46:35.000 And then he'd give it to you and you're like, alright, you got something here.

00:46:35.000 Yeah.

00:46:37.000 No, no, no, no.

00:46:39.000 The next time I saw him, he pulled in front of my house with his car.

00:46:44.000 We were both on probation, so we couldn't talk to each other.

00:46:47.000 And so he yelled from his car.

00:46:49.000 He goes, hey, I sold the book to Martin Scorsese.

00:46:54.000 So you're allowed to talk to each other by yelling?

00:46:56.000 Yeah.

00:46:57.000 But you couldn't be close?

00:46:58.000 Yeah, you couldn't be.

00:46:59.000 How far away do you have to stay?

00:47:01.000 Well, technically you're not supposed to talk to each other, but yelling, no one's going to say anything about that.

00:47:08.000 That's hilarious.

00:47:09.000 How stupid is that?

00:47:10.000 You violate your probation, they put you back in jail.

00:47:13.000 Right, because you're associating with felons.

00:47:14.000 That's right.

00:47:15.000 That's so crazy that someone who you're trying to rehabilitate with, you can't talk to them because they also fucked up.

00:47:22.000 There was a Nixon speechwriter that was in with me, and he was so innocent.

00:47:26.000 The government was trying to get stuff on Imelda Marcos, the Philippines.

00:47:33.000 And this lawyer that I was in there was a speechwriter, a Reagan speechwriter.

00:47:38.000 And he wouldn't give up Marcos or Imelda.

00:47:43.000 And so they put him in jail for a year.

00:47:45.000 And when he got out on probation...

00:47:49.000 Being a straight guy he was, he went home and took a Valium to help him sleep.

00:47:53.000 And he got drug tested the next day and went back in jail.

00:47:58.000 He went back in jail.

00:48:01.000 So you got to be very careful when you're dealing with probation people because they got you by the balls, man.

00:48:06.000 It's got to be a weird thing dealing with the probation officers because they have that power over you.

00:48:11.000 Oh yeah.

00:48:11.000 Do they fuck with you?

00:48:13.000 I was too much of a celebrity.

00:48:13.000 Not me.

00:48:15.000 And I had a lot of nice ladies and so I'd flirt with them.

00:48:19.000 Right.

00:48:20.000 You're all friends.

00:48:21.000 Yeah, I'd flirt with everything.

00:48:23.000 I'm sure like all things, right?

00:48:24.000 There's good people doing it and bad things.

00:48:26.000 It's a job.

00:48:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:28.000 It's a job.

00:48:29.000 It's a paycheck.

00:48:30.000 The sad thing about when I was in jail in Taft was that it's built over a toxic waste dump.

00:48:39.000 That's where they found oil in Taft, in California.

00:48:43.000 And when they found oil back in the day, they never had a way to contain it.

00:48:47.000 They would just dig it and hit it, and they would just spill all over the ground.

00:48:51.000 And so they would dig big trenches out there, big pools, and they would fill up with oil.

00:48:57.000 Then they would get the barrels and dip the barrels in, and that's how they filled up the oil barrels.

00:49:03.000 And so after they figured out how to do it, the ground is all toxic.

00:49:10.000 And so they built a federal prison over top of it.

00:49:14.000 And so everybody that's worked there and a lot of people that did time there all got cancer and died.

00:49:21.000 So you think that's probably the root of your cancer?

00:49:23.000 Could be.

00:49:24.000 Could be.

00:49:25.000 Could be, for sure.

00:49:26.000 Yeah, easy, yeah.

00:49:27.000 Because that's where I got it.

00:49:28.000 And they say that marijuana does something to cancer, right?

00:49:32.000 Inhibits cancer in certain ways?

00:49:34.000 I don't know technically what it does.

00:49:36.000 I think what it does, more than anything, it calms the brain.

00:49:40.000 See, anytime you calm the brain, you lose the fear.

00:49:44.000 See, you know, fear is that fight or flight.

00:49:48.000 You know, that's your response.

00:49:50.000 Your body goes into this fight or flight mode.

00:49:52.000 And when you calm that down, your body just goes into relaxation mode.

00:49:57.000 And when you're in the fight or flight mode, the other parts of your body can't function properly, like your immune system.

00:50:06.000 But when you're in a total relaxed mode, that's why when an animal gets hurt, they usually just crawl off in a corner somewhere and just lay there and lick their wounds.

00:50:14.000 And they just calm everything down and then they let the body take over the heel.

00:50:19.000 And I think what happens with pot is that it mellows the brain to the point where you, eh, so what?

00:50:27.000 Allow your body to take over.

00:50:30.000 But you still need that other treatments.

00:50:32.000 You still need the chemo, the radiation.

00:50:35.000 You need all that stuff.

00:50:37.000 Are you taking CBD oil?

00:50:39.000 No, yeah.

00:50:40.000 How much do you take?

00:50:41.000 I'm not sure.

00:50:42.000 I'm not good at amounts.

00:50:44.000 But you take it every day?

00:50:46.000 I take it.

00:50:47.000 Right now I'm on testosterone.

00:50:52.000 And CBD. Yeah.

00:50:54.000 And then just flour, you know, you smoke up a couple of joints.

00:50:58.000 Well, we've got a gift bag for you.

00:51:00.000 Yes, thank you.

00:51:01.000 Yeah.

00:51:02.000 Thank you.

00:51:03.000 Tommy John Weed.

00:51:04.000 Thank you.

00:51:05.000 It's always good to have it.

00:51:07.000 I got some from Be Real.

00:51:08.000 It scared the shit out of me.

00:51:10.000 Was it?

00:51:10.000 I did Be Real Smokebox.

00:51:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:12.000 Be Real from Cypress.

00:51:13.000 Yeah, yeah, I know.

00:51:14.000 Fuck.

00:51:15.000 That's probably as high as I've ever been in my life.

00:51:17.000 Really?

00:51:17.000 Those guys go hard.

00:51:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:19.000 I couldn't keep up with them.

00:51:20.000 No, no.

00:51:21.000 I don't even try.

00:51:23.000 I'm a lightweight, man.

00:51:24.000 When I spoke with Arnold, Dave Draper, all these muscle heads would come around, and they'd get a big bong, and the thing was they'd put like an ounce in the bowl, and then they'd fire it up, and then they'd suck on it so hard,

00:51:39.000 whoever...

00:51:41.000 It exploded.

00:51:42.000 The bowl into the water made it explode.

00:51:45.000 Then you were the hero.

00:51:48.000 All the muscle heads, they're taking their hit.

00:51:50.000 Arnold takes a big hit.

00:51:51.000 You know, the thing explodes.

00:51:53.000 Then they handed it to me.

00:51:54.000 It was like...

00:51:55.000 And they looked at me like...

00:51:58.000 Tommy Chong!

00:51:59.000 No, I was the Chong at the time.

00:52:01.000 So they just looked at me like, yeah, okay.

00:52:04.000 Go sit over there or something.

00:52:05.000 Back then, you were just a guy.

00:52:06.000 Yeah, I was just...

00:52:07.000 Almost faceless.

00:52:09.000 What was it like being famous for being a pothead back in the 70s?

00:52:15.000 Because that ought to be weird.

00:52:17.000 Because you and Cheech were famous potheads.

00:52:21.000 Yeah.

00:52:22.000 Where I don't think there was anybody else.

00:52:24.000 Like, who else was a famous pothead?

00:52:26.000 No.

00:52:27.000 At your level?

00:52:29.000 No.

00:52:29.000 No one.

00:52:30.000 Maybe no one ever.

00:52:33.000 You guys were the trailblazers.

00:52:34.000 What's his name?

00:52:37.000 The actor...

00:52:38.000 Oh, Christ, I can't think of his name.

00:52:42.000 He did time.

00:52:43.000 He did a year in jail in County for one joint.

00:52:47.000 Robert Mitchum.

00:52:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:49.000 Robert Mitchum.

00:52:50.000 But he was like a straight-laced guy.

00:52:52.000 Yeah.

00:52:52.000 The image.

00:52:53.000 Big cowboy.

00:52:53.000 Yeah.

00:52:54.000 He got high.

00:52:55.000 He was a tough guy.

00:52:56.000 That was the image.

00:52:58.000 Well, you know what the big draw for pot was?

00:53:04.000 The sex.

00:53:05.000 See, it was before, what do you call it, sopers or...

00:53:11.000 Sopers?

00:53:12.000 Quaaludes.

00:53:14.000 You know, the Quaalude thing?

00:53:16.000 The Quaalude was a big sex thing.

00:53:18.000 That was...

00:53:19.000 People would have sex on quaaludes.

00:53:21.000 Why?

00:53:21.000 I've never taken a quaalude.

00:53:23.000 What does it do for you?

00:53:23.000 Oh, they're called spreaders.

00:53:26.000 When a girl gets high on a quaalude, it's like, take me.

00:53:30.000 Do you think that's why Bill Cosby was dosing those girls with quaaludes?

00:53:33.000 Totally.

00:53:35.000 So that was the thing?

00:53:35.000 It just relaxes you?

00:53:37.000 It makes you horny.

00:53:38.000 Really?

00:53:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:40.000 And that's what plot does for me now, but it does for women.

00:53:45.000 Women love to sleep with it, and they love to have sex after smoking joint.

00:53:51.000 Was it Annie Hall?

00:53:53.000 Was it Woody?

00:53:54.000 And he got a little pissed off.

00:53:56.000 Do you have to get high every time you make love with me?

00:53:59.000 Yeah.

00:53:59.000 Oh, that's right.

00:54:00.000 Was that Annie Hall?

00:54:01.000 I think it was Annie Hall.

00:54:02.000 And I think everybody in the movie company said, yeah, I can dig it.

00:54:10.000 Yeah, it definitely changes the way things feel.

00:54:12.000 Yeah, it relaxes.

00:54:13.000 It relaxes.

00:54:14.000 You hear music better.

00:54:16.000 So you feel things better.

00:54:17.000 Everything feels nicer.

00:54:19.000 I like to do yoga on it.

00:54:21.000 I like to smoke weed right before I go to yoga class.

00:54:23.000 Yeah.

00:54:24.000 It's amazing.

00:54:25.000 You feel all the muscles.

00:54:27.000 The tiny ones and the ones connected to weird spots.

00:54:32.000 And you don't smoke a lot?

00:54:33.000 A couple of tokes?

00:54:35.000 Before yoga class?

00:54:36.000 I don't like it too high.

00:54:37.000 I don't just be inside my head.

00:54:38.000 I just wanted like two hits.

00:54:40.000 Just two hits.

00:54:41.000 Just going high.

00:54:42.000 I'm high, but I'm not blasted.

00:54:44.000 Yeah, that's me too.

00:54:46.000 I got...

00:54:48.000 I've been given all sorts of toys, you know, because I got the Chong's Choice weed in the stores and that.

00:54:54.000 And so they...

00:54:55.000 I'm getting tons of pipes all the time.

00:54:58.000 And I make pipes, too.

00:54:59.000 In fact, this is...

00:55:00.000 That's the not-a-pipe.

00:55:01.000 This is the not-a-pipe.

00:55:02.000 You gave me one of those.

00:55:03.000 You got one?

00:55:04.000 Yes, I got one of those.

00:55:05.000 Okay.

00:55:05.000 Last time was like six...

00:55:07.000 Whatever it was, six years ago, last time you were on the show?

00:55:10.000 Yeah.

00:55:10.000 You gave me the not-a-pipe.

00:55:11.000 Oh, good.

00:55:12.000 I got it at home.

00:55:13.000 But I... You know, so now they got a new one.

00:55:19.000 I can't think of it.

00:55:21.000 I got it for you here anyway.

00:55:22.000 Oh, great.

00:55:23.000 Thank you.

00:55:23.000 It's called Easy Pipe.

00:55:24.000 Oh, okay.

00:55:25.000 Easy Pipe.

00:55:26.000 It's so cool because you open the thing and it's got a lighter built in and there's just enough, the bowl holds enough for a little nug.

00:55:35.000 Put the nug in there and you can carry it in your pocket because there's a lid.

00:55:39.000 And then when you want to hit it, you just hit the lighter and you got to hit it.

00:55:44.000 Oh, I've seen one of those before.

00:55:47.000 It has like a little metal lid that slides over to the side.

00:55:51.000 Yeah, those are pretty cool.

00:55:52.000 Oh, yeah, they're very nice.

00:55:53.000 Yeah, nice little contraption all contained.

00:55:57.000 Well, the old one hitters used to be...

00:56:00.000 Chong's Choice, right there.

00:56:01.000 Kapow.

00:56:02.000 Yeah, that's the Chong's Choice.

00:56:03.000 Oh, that's the...

00:56:04.000 That's a different thing, though.

00:56:05.000 That's the Genius Pipe.

00:56:07.000 Ah, Genius.

00:56:08.000 Like the Genius Bar at Apple?

00:56:09.000 That's incredible.

00:56:10.000 Incredible.

00:56:11.000 What does that do?

00:56:12.000 Well, it cools the smoke.

00:56:14.000 See, from the bowl to the mouthpiece, the whole thing is dimpled inside.

00:56:24.000 And so the smoke goes through all the dimples.

00:56:28.000 And it cools it off.

00:56:30.000 Sort of like ice water in a bong?

00:56:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:33.000 Better, better.

00:56:33.000 Better?

00:56:34.000 Oh, it's so smooth.

00:56:36.000 I'll cough just thinking about it, but you do the genius pipe and it's just so cool.

00:56:42.000 Do you get, all these kids are dabbing and using wax and I watch, do you ever go to Cypress Hills Instagram page?

00:56:48.000 I get fucking, I get anxiety just watching their videos.

00:56:51.000 Like, how high are you getting?

00:56:53.000 Because they play, I want to get high!

00:56:58.000 So high!

00:56:59.000 And you're watching the video and you're like, oh my god, I can't do this.

00:57:03.000 I can't even watch this.

00:57:04.000 I know.

00:57:05.000 They're scooping that yellow wax in there.

00:57:07.000 I know.

00:57:07.000 They go so deep, these kids today.

00:57:11.000 They're out of their fucking mind.

00:57:12.000 They're heating up glass and dropping the THC into the glass.

00:57:15.000 I was at one dispensary, and the guy was so proud.

00:57:19.000 He handed me a big jar of shatter, you know, the dab stuff.

00:57:25.000 And I pretended like, oh, it's a gift?

00:57:27.000 Oh, thanks.

00:57:28.000 And I put it in my pocket, and I walked away.

00:57:31.000 And the guy's mouth was just, it dropped.

00:57:35.000 Yeah, it was probably a lot of money for that stuff.

00:57:36.000 Oh, it was like a year's worth of dab.

00:57:39.000 Oh, my God.

00:57:41.000 And I kept it long enough to make him nervous.

00:57:45.000 You know, in Canada, we had to deal with hash a lot.

00:57:50.000 And it's okay, but it's a little bit too harsh.

00:57:54.000 Hash is harsh.

00:57:56.000 Yeah.

00:57:56.000 The high is interesting, though.

00:57:59.000 Yeah.

00:57:59.000 Yeah, it's an intense high.

00:58:02.000 How do you feel about edibles?

00:58:03.000 I love them to sleep on.

00:58:06.000 I love them.

00:58:07.000 The chocolate I got you is what my wife and I both use.

00:58:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:14.000 We'll wake up in the middle of the night instead of, you know, fussing and fighting or, you know...

00:58:21.000 Thinking about it, we just go and get a little chocolate thing.

00:58:25.000 It's delicious chocolate, too.

00:58:28.000 It's de Fonsi chocolate, and it's the best thing.

00:58:32.000 And you just sleep.

00:58:33.000 Not only I slept last night, but I had a couple of epiphanies that just blew my mind.

00:58:39.000 Like what?

00:58:41.000 How art is going to save the world.

00:58:43.000 Art is going to save the world?

00:58:45.000 Yeah.

00:58:45.000 How's that?

00:58:46.000 Well, you look at history.

00:58:48.000 The pyramids.

00:58:50.000 That was art.

00:58:51.000 That was an art piece.

00:58:52.000 And what happens when you have big, huge art pieces like that, you create employment.

00:58:58.000 And it's not war.

00:58:59.000 So you're not fighting.

00:59:01.000 You're creating.

00:59:02.000 And so the people that care for the animals, the people that have to feed, the mass of people that have to work on getting those rocks, carving those rocks and everything else, it creates employment.

00:59:15.000 And it also creates tourism.

00:59:18.000 And so when you have a piece of art, everybody wants to come and look at it.

00:59:23.000 And so that's what we need in the world today, you see.

00:59:27.000 And we not only need art, but we need functional art.

00:59:30.000 Because that's what the pyramids were.

00:59:32.000 They were functional.

00:59:33.000 And a lot of people think it was the astronauts.

00:59:37.000 You mean the aliens?

00:59:38.000 The aliens.

00:59:39.000 Which could very well be.

00:59:41.000 You really think so?

00:59:42.000 Oh, sure.

00:59:43.000 For sure.

00:59:44.000 Why do you think that...

00:59:47.000 Well, because there's nothing new in the universe, you know.

00:59:51.000 We've had space flights.

00:59:53.000 We've had all that stuff forever.

00:59:54.000 But you have Chong's Choice cooler pipe.

00:59:56.000 Yeah.

00:59:57.000 That genius pipe, that's new in the universe.

00:59:59.000 No, it's probably rehashed.

01:00:01.000 Probably somewhere in the world or somewhere in the universe.

01:00:06.000 Oh, you want to talk about pot?

01:00:10.000 Chinese, Indians, all religion.

01:00:13.000 What makes you think that aliens built the pyramids, though?

01:00:16.000 I'm saying they could have been.

01:00:18.000 Really?

01:00:18.000 I think aliens are just humans.

01:00:21.000 Because if they're wearing space suits, if they're aliens, why do they need a space suit unless they come from another atmosphere?

01:00:30.000 I personally believe that Earth is the only planet in this universe.

01:00:36.000 And the reason I believe that is that there are countless universes.

01:00:39.000 Like space is endless.

01:00:41.000 And so if space is endless, why wouldn't we have our own universe?

01:00:46.000 Okay.

01:00:48.000 So you think that Earth is the only planet in this universe?

01:00:51.000 Yes.

01:00:52.000 But what about Mars?

01:00:53.000 Well, it's a dead planet.

01:00:55.000 Okay.

01:00:56.000 So Earth is the only live planet?

01:00:57.000 The only planet with life in this whole universe?

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:01.000 So you think that there's multiple universes, or infinite numbers of universes, and each universe probably has an Earth.

01:01:08.000 Or two.

01:01:09.000 Or two.

01:01:10.000 But you think this whole universe of hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with hundreds of billions of solar systems.

01:01:16.000 Could be.

01:01:17.000 There's only one planet.

01:01:18.000 Could be.

01:01:19.000 Because we have the space.

01:01:20.000 So you mean by one planet, one planet with life.

01:01:23.000 Yes.

01:01:24.000 Intelligently.

01:01:25.000 But why wouldn't you think that there's, because it's so big, why wouldn't you think there could possibly be other life other places?

01:01:32.000 Why couldn't it be the other way?

01:01:34.000 Why couldn't we be the only ones?

01:01:36.000 We could be.

01:01:36.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:01:37.000 We totally could be.

01:01:38.000 So there's no reason for me.

01:01:40.000 See, that's why I have trouble with people that are afraid of AI, you know, artificial intelligence.

01:01:47.000 I think it's so silly.

01:01:47.000 Yeah?

01:01:49.000 Why that?

01:01:49.000 Well, because they're smart.

01:01:52.000 They're smart enough to know that they're not going to enslave anybody or torture anybody or take over anything.

01:01:59.000 Only dummies do that stuff.

01:02:02.000 Because when you capture something, you know what you capture?

01:02:05.000 Their problems.

01:02:07.000 Whatever their problems are.

01:02:09.000 Unless you extinguish them.

01:02:11.000 Yeah.

01:02:11.000 For what reason?

01:02:13.000 Well, the people are just destroying the earth.

01:02:14.000 They're polluting the rivers.

01:02:16.000 They're sucking all the fish out of the sea.

01:02:18.000 It's not the first time.

01:02:19.000 The sky is filled with carbon.

01:02:21.000 The artificial life is going to be like, you know what?

01:02:23.000 The real problem is these goddamn people.

01:02:24.000 They're dirty little litterers.

01:02:26.000 They're choking squirrels.

01:02:28.000 See?

01:02:29.000 That's the paranoid look at it.

01:02:31.000 Look at the positive look at it.

01:02:33.000 What's the positive?

01:02:34.000 Well, first of all, you have to remember, we live in a physical universe.

01:02:38.000 Okay.

01:02:39.000 For every action, there's a reaction.

01:02:42.000 So for every good, there's a bad.

01:02:45.000 Nothing explains Trump more than for every Obama, there's a Trump.

01:02:50.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:02:52.000 So there's no limit to how ignorant you can be, and there's no limit to how smart you can be.

01:02:52.000 Okay.

01:02:59.000 There's no limit.

01:03:00.000 And so when you go up the scale to intelligence scale, then you realize that there's no reason to be paranoid about anything.

01:03:12.000 Because it's all written out, and all the holy books have written it out, especially the Bible.

01:03:18.000 See, the Bible has been misconstrued by so many people, because what they do, they take it to what's going to suit their purposes.

01:03:27.000 But to really interpret the Bible, it's written in code.

01:03:33.000 It's a secret code.

01:03:35.000 Yeah.

01:03:35.000 The Bible is?

01:03:36.000 It's metaphysical terms.

01:03:37.000 It's not physical terms.

01:03:39.000 They're metaphysical terms.

01:03:40.000 What do you know about the Bible and code?

01:03:42.000 There's a writer called Emmet Fox.

01:03:45.000 You should get into him.

01:03:47.000 Yeah?

01:03:47.000 He deciphers the whole Bible.

01:03:49.000 Does he decipher the ancient Hebrew version of the Bible, or the Greek version of the Bible, Latin version of the Bible?

01:03:55.000 All the versions.

01:03:56.000 Right, but I mean, it all comes from ancient Hebrew.

01:03:59.000 And when you translate things from ancient Hebrew, you know, ancient Hebrew, the letters also double as numbers.

01:04:04.000 Sure.

01:04:05.000 And see, with the people I read, there's another mystic that I read a lot.

01:04:14.000 Mystic?

01:04:14.000 Well, he's mystic, you know, or mystic.

01:04:18.000 His name is Joel S. Goldsmith.

01:04:22.000 I discovered him a long time ago, but I discovered him in jail.

01:04:26.000 It's a very popular book in jail.

01:04:28.000 And Goldsmith, look him up.

01:04:30.000 He's all on the computers and everything else.

01:04:32.000 Check him out.

01:04:33.000 You'll really, really enjoy it.

01:04:35.000 It'll give you a new perspective.

01:04:37.000 Because what he maintains, it's all written, like I say, in the Bible.

01:04:44.000 Eternity.

01:04:45.000 There's no beginning and no end.

01:04:47.000 That explains everything to me.

01:04:51.000 Because if there's no beginning to no end, what can happen will happen.

01:05:04.000 Again, this is my theory.

01:05:07.000 In the physical world, we have to learn everything.

01:05:11.000 That's why everything's physical.

01:05:13.000 Like the first thing when you're born, you have to learn how to breathe.

01:05:15.000 You have to learn how to walk.

01:05:17.000 You have to learn how to eat.

01:05:21.000 These are all skills that you have to literally learn.

01:05:24.000 And mothers and everything teach you that.

01:05:27.000 And then when you reach a certain age, You leave the planet, at least your spirit.

01:05:35.000 And the body stays.

01:05:37.000 The body is just a vehicle.

01:05:39.000 And so, because of eternity, this goes on and on and on and on forever.

01:05:45.000 It never stops.

01:05:47.000 What we do as humans, we're learning.

01:05:52.000 We're all students, whether we want to be or not.

01:05:55.000 I was trying to explain this to my one son, because my youngest son is a musician, and I try to understand that he's a musician.

01:06:08.000 Musicians aren't that entrepreneurial, as some people would like them to be.

01:06:16.000 But anyway, everybody's here to learn a certain task.

01:06:21.000 And some of us are blessed to the point, like me, I'm blessed.

01:06:25.000 I'm very blessed.

01:06:27.000 Because I've been given the ability to do what I do and to see what I see and to say what I say, you know.

01:06:37.000 It doesn't come from me.

01:06:38.000 It comes from, you know, the source, what I call the source.

01:06:43.000 And that's why I could turn prison into a religious retreat.

01:06:49.000 Because it's like a monk going into hiatus for nine months.

01:06:55.000 You just had a thought in your head that you're going to treat it like a religious retreat.

01:06:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:00.000 And you learn about yourself and educate yourself.

01:07:02.000 Read all the books.

01:07:03.000 Take advantage of your solitude.

01:07:05.000 Because that's very important.

01:07:07.000 When you get a chance to be alone, man, that's a very important time.

01:07:11.000 Because that's when you connect with your spiritual teacher.

01:07:16.000 It must have felt so good to be released, though.

01:07:21.000 In a way, there was a lot of sadness.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:24.000 Really?

01:07:26.000 I never looked as good as when I got released, man.

01:07:31.000 Because one of the inmates there, he was a barber.

01:07:34.000 He spent two hours cutting my hair.

01:07:37.000 Perfect.

01:07:38.000 He was a Chicano.

01:07:39.000 Just perfect.

01:07:40.000 I come out, my wife, Shelby, looked at me, whoa, that's the best haircut you've ever had.

01:07:47.000 Everything was perfect.

01:07:50.000 Were you exercising in jail?

01:07:52.000 That's all you do.

01:07:53.000 You walk at night.

01:07:55.000 There's a track and you can walk miles around the track.

01:07:58.000 And the whole prison's out there walking around.

01:08:01.000 That's when you socialize and talk and everything else to people.

01:08:05.000 And they all group together.

01:08:06.000 And I learned games.

01:08:08.000 I learned how to play bocce ball.

01:08:10.000 Learned.

01:08:11.000 I played pool.

01:08:12.000 And then I sang.

01:08:13.000 I had a little area where I had my own private studio.

01:08:18.000 It was the entrance to the pool hall.

01:08:21.000 And I'd sit in there and the echo was perfect.

01:08:23.000 You guys had a pool hall?

01:08:24.000 Oh yeah.

01:08:25.000 We had tennis courts, pool hall.

01:08:27.000 Sounds like a great time.

01:08:28.000 It was!

01:08:29.000 I'm telling you!

01:08:32.000 Other than not being able to leave.

01:08:34.000 And even then, if you wanted to leave, I'm going, why would you want to leave?

01:08:37.000 I mean, it was perfect.

01:08:39.000 So you think that's why people go back to jail?

01:08:41.000 Totally.

01:08:41.000 Like, after they get released?

01:08:42.000 I saw one guy who was sad.

01:08:42.000 Totally.

01:08:45.000 He was crying.

01:08:46.000 But he was sitting there crying.

01:08:47.000 And I said, what's wrong?

01:08:48.000 He gets released next month.

01:08:51.000 And he was a junkie, and he knew that as soon as he hit the street, he was going to die, you know?

01:08:56.000 And he did.

01:08:57.000 As soon as he hit the street, he died.

01:08:59.000 But he was funny.

01:09:02.000 They had a little game that when they opened the dormitory, the first few people to hit the mess hall got to order eggs any way they wanted, like over easy or sunny side up, whatever.

01:09:15.000 And so he'd get all anxious.

01:09:18.000 He'd be the first guy in line, and he'd be kind of...

01:09:21.000 Getting ready to, so the doors open.

01:09:23.000 Man, he'd do it.

01:09:24.000 And you couldn't run.

01:09:25.000 You had to walk.

01:09:26.000 And so he learned to walk fast.

01:09:27.000 He'd walk real fast.

01:09:29.000 And he was a delight.

01:09:32.000 But when he got released, he took his own life.

01:09:37.000 Yeah, I hung his own life with heroin or?

01:09:37.000 Wow.

01:09:41.000 Yeah, probably.

01:09:41.000 Probably.

01:09:42.000 It was sad.

01:09:44.000 So he just couldn't help himself once he got out.

01:09:46.000 Well, see, you know, everybody's worried about socialism.

01:09:49.000 Well, America's the biggest socialist country in the world.

01:09:53.000 Yeah, we've got more people in jail than anywhere else in the world.

01:09:53.000 We are?

01:09:56.000 And what happens in jail?

01:09:59.000 Cradle to grave.

01:10:00.000 You're fed, you're clothed, you're told what to wear, you're allowed to study certain things.

01:10:09.000 You're totally controlled.

01:10:11.000 Medical, you got free medical.

01:10:13.000 There were prisoners that would go to jail so they could get their open heart surgery.

01:10:17.000 Because the federal law mandates that if you have something wrong with you, they have to fix it.

01:10:22.000 And so there were prisoners that would break the law so they could get in to get their open heart surgery.

01:10:27.000 Wow.

01:10:27.000 Yeah.

01:10:29.000 That's crazy, man.

01:10:31.000 That's some next-level thinking.

01:10:32.000 I'm going to go to jail so I can get open-heart surgery.

01:10:35.000 Yeah.

01:10:36.000 Did they prevent you from reading any books?

01:10:39.000 Was there anything that was like, could you order whatever you wanted?

01:10:43.000 They had a...

01:10:46.000 It was weird.

01:10:47.000 They had a thing about...

01:10:50.000 They would take covers off magazines.

01:10:53.000 And you know the subscription cards?

01:10:57.000 They would take that off.

01:10:59.000 Because people on the outside would dose them with the acid, LSD, and ship the books in there.

01:11:06.000 And then next thing you know, half a dorm would be tripping on acid.

01:11:10.000 Because they were eating pieces of the subscription paper?

01:11:14.000 And that kind of stuff always went on.

01:11:16.000 But as far as, no, you could read whatever you wanted, basically, you know.

01:11:21.000 But I read a lot of books that, you know, I was meaning to read, you know.

01:11:28.000 And I helped a lot of people.

01:11:29.000 I would do the I Ching.

01:11:31.000 Do you know the I Ching?

01:11:32.000 Yeah, I would do the I Ching.

01:11:32.000 Sure.

01:11:34.000 You know how to do that?

01:11:35.000 On the Indian grounds.

01:11:36.000 Yeah?

01:11:36.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:37.000 It's real easy.

01:11:38.000 Yeah, to throw the coins.

01:11:40.000 It's really heads and tails, you know.

01:11:41.000 Well, supposedly it's some sort of like future reading thing, right?

01:11:47.000 Do you think it works?

01:11:48.000 What does it tell you?

01:11:48.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:49.000 Well, first time I did it, I rolled it.

01:11:54.000 I did my...

01:11:55.000 Explain to people how it works.

01:11:56.000 Well, what it is, you get three coins.

01:11:59.000 And you throw the three coins and you get numbers from six to nine.

01:12:07.000 And anything in between six, seven, six, eight...

01:12:11.000 I think it's something like that.

01:12:14.000 Anyway, each number tells you what line you're going to read.

01:12:19.000 And you throw it three times and you write down and then you get a sort of like a plan of what page you're supposed to look at.

01:12:29.000 And then when you get the page...

01:12:31.000 Then it tells you, you know, but you're asking it.

01:12:35.000 Because you've got to ask the I Ching for something, you know.

01:12:40.000 And it'll answer you.

01:12:43.000 For instance, I threw mine, when I did it, I threw it, and the first line said, you are in jail for a reason.

01:12:51.000 Whoa.

01:12:52.000 How does it say that?

01:12:53.000 It just said it.

01:12:54.000 And if it says it how?

01:12:55.000 What do you translate it?

01:12:56.000 You write it.

01:12:57.000 You read it.

01:12:58.000 It's been written in that book for centuries.

01:13:01.000 That line was in that book for centuries.

01:13:05.000 3,000 years, something like that.

01:13:05.000 Really?

01:13:07.000 And so I read it, because they still talk about chariots and kings and queens and everything.

01:13:14.000 That was the first line, you are in jail for a reason.

01:13:17.000 Jails are corrective institutions that will correct your behavior.

01:13:25.000 That's what the I Ching is telling you.

01:13:27.000 Well, what they did, they updated it.

01:13:27.000 That's what the I Ching.

01:13:29.000 The girls that wrote it, they updated it to the modern time.

01:13:33.000 I think it's Armstrong.

01:13:35.000 There are a couple of girls that wrote it.

01:13:39.000 It's a big, thick book.

01:13:42.000 And then it went on there.

01:13:44.000 And another guy, Mike, this Chicano, he saw me.

01:13:48.000 He thought it was a game.

01:13:49.000 So he's all set for the game.

01:13:51.000 What are you playing?

01:13:52.000 I said, no, I'm doing the I Ching.

01:13:53.000 I said, do you want me to do you?

01:13:55.000 And he said, yeah.

01:13:57.000 So I did his.

01:13:58.000 And it's very polite not to read the readings of the other guy.

01:14:04.000 You know, let him read it first.

01:14:05.000 And so I did the numbers, and I give it to him.

01:14:09.000 And he read it, and he just handed me the book, and he went, sat on his bunk.

01:14:15.000 And he just stared.

01:14:18.000 And so then I read what it said.

01:14:22.000 And a month before, he lost his wife and child in a car accident.

01:14:30.000 They were coming out to visit him.

01:14:33.000 And the I Ching said, you suffered a great misfortune.

01:14:40.000 It was like dead on.

01:14:45.000 And the I Ching goes on to tell you what to do.

01:14:51.000 Next month is going to be tough.

01:14:53.000 This month is going to be good.

01:14:56.000 We see hope for you.

01:14:58.000 It's like astrology.

01:14:59.000 It's almost the same.

01:15:00.000 I know Terence McKenna was really into it.

01:15:02.000 He's really into the I Ching and he thought it was some sort of a map of time.

01:15:05.000 He was trying to Figure out what it was and how it worked and why I can predict things.

01:15:11.000 And if you mess with it, it'll tell you.

01:15:14.000 If you fuck with it?

01:15:15.000 Like the Ouija board, you know, sometimes if you do the Ouija board, it's the same thing.

01:15:20.000 If you start making it a game, you know, let's ask it this, let's ask it that.

01:15:24.000 Who's going to win the race tomorrow?

01:15:26.000 And right away, the I Ching catches that and knows your real feelings and it tells you.

01:15:32.000 And it tells you, don't do that.

01:15:34.000 What do you think it is?

01:15:37.000 It's a Chinese...

01:15:39.000 It's a method of divination, right?

01:15:41.000 I think what it is, it's a spiritual way of communicating this.

01:15:46.000 Remember in Ghost, where Patrick Swayze had to learn how to move a coin?

01:15:54.000 Remember that?

01:15:55.000 Yeah.

01:15:56.000 The spirits, especially spiritual people, they're around us.

01:16:02.000 And so you give them a chance to communicate with you because they know all.

01:16:08.000 They will communicate.

01:16:10.000 And so the I Ching gives the spirits a chance to communicate.

01:16:13.000 So when you throw a coin, they know what heads or tails or whatever it is, number, that you need to talk to you.

01:16:24.000 That's my theory.

01:16:28.000 Gotta try it, man.

01:16:29.000 Yeah, I'm curious because I do know that many people have used it to try to figure out what their life is about, what they're doing with their life.

01:16:37.000 The weirdest thing about it is they seem to find some real answers in it.

01:16:42.000 And they keep them to themselves.

01:16:44.000 Yeah, but the idea that I had heard that made the most sense was that The way the world works is not as simple and as easy as 1 plus 1 equals 2, left, right, left, right, walk down the road, but that there's intention and thought that also helps formulate our universe.

01:17:03.000 And what the I Ching does is it somehow clarifies intention and thought, and it clarifies your actual...

01:17:14.000 The actual process is going on in your mind, and it quantifies it and puts it into a way that you can read your effect on life and life's effect on you in this, and then it reads it somehow or another, even though it doesn't make any sense.

01:17:29.000 It's a method of divination.

01:17:30.000 It's a method of discovering what's happening.

01:17:33.000 Yeah, it's a method of communicating with the spirit world.

01:17:36.000 You think that's what it is?

01:17:37.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:38.000 And the thing is, getting back to the AI, the artificial intelligence, we already use artificial intelligence in our lives every day.

01:17:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:48.000 Like Alexa is a good example.

01:17:51.000 That bitch.

01:17:52.000 I love her.

01:17:52.000 Yeah.

01:17:53.000 I love her.

01:17:55.000 Siri.

01:17:56.000 She never...

01:17:58.000 Steered me wrong yet, you know.

01:18:01.000 She's told me I've asked the wrong questions.

01:18:03.000 But, see, this is my theory, is that we are...

01:18:12.000 Everybody in the universe wants us, the spirits, they want us to be enlightened.

01:18:18.000 Because the more enlightened we are, the more we can enjoy what we've inherited.

01:18:26.000 Because when you're born into this world, you've inherited a kingdom.

01:18:31.000 You've taken it for granted.

01:18:32.000 Amazing.

01:18:33.000 Yeah, you've inherited a kingdom.

01:18:35.000 Especially in comparison to the rest of time.

01:18:37.000 All of human history.

01:18:39.000 This is the greatest time, the greatest, most fortunate.

01:18:42.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:18:43.000 Look at what we got now, going for us now.

01:18:43.000 Look at us.

01:18:47.000 And how much effort did that take?

01:18:49.000 It was like being part of a team.

01:18:52.000 And so when you're ready, boom, you're pushed out in front.

01:18:56.000 You're up there.

01:18:56.000 And so our duty as students is to learn everything we can learn and to teach whatever we can teach.

01:19:07.000 And that's why there should be no paranoia because we're not here long enough So that being rich or being poor makes any kind of a difference.

01:19:19.000 Because you know yourself, I mean, what do you really need in this life?

01:19:25.000 What do you really need?

01:19:27.000 Food?

01:19:27.000 Water?

01:19:29.000 Companionship?

01:19:30.000 Friends?

01:19:30.000 Love?

01:19:31.000 Yeah, and something interesting that you like to do.

01:19:34.000 Yeah, because I've been hanging with billionaires now.

01:19:38.000 What have you been doing with them?

01:19:40.000 Yeah, I'm just hanging out.

01:19:41.000 They like me because I get recognized everywhere I go.

01:19:46.000 So it's like walking around with a famous guy.

01:19:53.000 You can get into restaurants and people and give me pictures.

01:19:58.000 And for the most part...

01:20:04.000 They're hard-working, very, you know, like a lot of burdens being rich.

01:20:12.000 A lot of burdens.

01:20:14.000 And, you know, just with me, you know, it's like instead of owning a boat, I'd rather know a guy that owns a boat.

01:20:23.000 Definitely you don't have to deal with any of the maintenance costs.

01:20:25.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:20:27.000 That's true.

01:20:28.000 I like to be free.

01:20:29.000 I like to be totally free.

01:20:33.000 Yeah.

01:20:33.000 Yeah, that's the reality of, I mean, if you want to have a big, giant, crazy business, you're going to have a lot of employees, you're going to have a lot of problems you have to deal with.

01:20:41.000 And you're the last guy to get paid.

01:20:43.000 Yep.

01:20:43.000 Yeah.

01:20:44.000 And you're the last guy that goes home.

01:20:46.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 Everybody else forgets what they're doing as soon as they walk out that door.

01:20:50.000 And all those problems are in your butt.

01:20:52.000 Yeah.

01:20:53.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 I went through that.

01:20:54.000 It's true.

01:20:55.000 I had two nightclubs at one time, but I never bothered with the money part at all.

01:21:00.000 I just worried about the stage and the mic was working.

01:21:05.000 Where was this?

01:21:06.000 In Vancouver.

01:21:07.000 How long ago was this?

01:21:09.000 This was the 60s.

01:21:10.000 Yeah?

01:21:11.000 You had nightclubs?

01:21:12.000 Like comedy clubs?

01:21:13.000 Well, one was an after hours, sort of like a jazz dance bottle club.

01:21:20.000 And it was given to me.

01:21:22.000 There again, you know, hey, Tommy, you want a club?

01:21:25.000 And I said, sure.

01:21:27.000 Why did he give you a club?

01:21:28.000 Yeah, well, he bought a building.

01:21:30.000 And back in the day, there was a steakhouse in the basement.

01:21:35.000 He says, well, that's yours.

01:21:37.000 Pay rent when you can.

01:21:39.000 What?

01:21:40.000 So I went in.

01:21:40.000 What was this guy's deal?

01:21:42.000 He owned buildings.

01:21:43.000 He owned all the buildings.

01:21:44.000 Most people that own buildings don't be giving them away.

01:21:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:47.000 Oh, they do.

01:21:48.000 Free rent.

01:21:49.000 Free rent.

01:21:50.000 You saw them all the time.

01:21:51.000 You can get a year's free rent.

01:21:53.000 Just because they want to get someone in the building.

01:21:55.000 They want to get it going.

01:21:57.000 See, as soon as we started being successful, we were paying $500 a month rent.

01:22:03.000 So he got you going.

01:22:04.000 So we made a...

01:22:05.000 A ton of money in there.

01:22:07.000 And that's where I got the bands, you know, that's where I honed my skills as a musician and singer and all that.

01:22:15.000 And then I got offered another club because it was going under and it was a dine and dance club in Chinatown.

01:22:23.000 And I thought, yeah, make a great strip club.

01:22:27.000 And so we took it over.

01:22:29.000 The Shanghai Junk turned it into a strip club, Vancouver's first strip club.

01:22:34.000 You were the proprietor of Vancouver's first ever strip club?

01:22:37.000 First strip club.

01:22:38.000 First one.

01:22:39.000 In fact, we did a midnight mass at a church.

01:22:49.000 I think we had the stripper dancing.

01:22:52.000 At the church?

01:22:53.000 But not stripping.

01:22:54.000 She kept her clothes on and she danced.

01:22:56.000 That's appropriate.

01:22:59.000 When did you start getting into live shows?

01:23:04.000 Well, I got fired from Motown because I had to get a green card and nobody at Motown knew what a green card was.

01:23:12.000 And so I had to miss a gig to get my green card.

01:23:17.000 I got the green card and I came back.

01:23:19.000 And I got fired.

01:23:20.000 And so then Barry Gordy found out about it.

01:23:23.000 He said, oh, you're not fired.

01:23:24.000 I said, I think I'll stay fired.

01:23:26.000 I want to be a Barry Gordy.

01:23:28.000 I don't want to work for one.

01:23:29.000 And so then I came out to LA and tried to live on the beach and be a songwriter.

01:23:36.000 But then my clubs were calling me because they needed help.

01:23:39.000 So I went back and I turned the strip club into an improvisational club.

01:23:45.000 So we were doing naked improv.

01:23:47.000 It was great, man.

01:23:49.000 All the girls, they were strippers.

01:23:52.000 Once I turned them into actresses, they were a lot cheaper, and they were a lot more beautiful.

01:23:58.000 They talked, they did skits, and then they would take off their clothes when they had to.

01:24:05.000 Within, you know, the script.

01:24:07.000 And that's where I met Cheech.

01:24:09.000 Because we had a straight guy, and the straight guy's wife found out what he was doing, and hauled him away.

01:24:16.000 And then Cheech came on board as a straight guy.

01:24:20.000 This is in Vancouver?

01:24:21.000 Yeah, in Vancouver, yeah.

01:24:22.000 But Cheech was an L.A. guy, right?

01:24:24.000 Yeah, he was up there in case a Viet Cong attack from Alaska.

01:24:28.000 LAUGHTER So he was hiding from the draft.

01:24:34.000 Well, not really.

01:24:35.000 Well, not really.

01:24:36.000 He was trying to stay out of the way.

01:24:37.000 Let's put it that way.

01:24:38.000 Good move.

01:24:39.000 And then he had to sneak back into L.A. from Canada.

01:24:43.000 Really?

01:24:43.000 Yeah.

01:24:44.000 But it was easy coming into L.A. from Canada.

01:24:47.000 He just showed someone else's ID, and they said, all right, go on.

01:24:50.000 Back in the day.

01:24:51.000 Yeah.

01:24:52.000 The world was a lot slipperier.

01:24:53.000 Yeah, and that's...

01:24:54.000 So that's why I'm saying I'm so blessed, you know, because everything, the universe, you know, and it was from the I Ching.

01:25:03.000 One of the guitar players turned me on to the I Ching back then, and my reading was perfection.

01:25:11.000 You're gonna be, everything's perfect.

01:25:13.000 You're gonna really do well.

01:25:16.000 And then Cheech and Chong and all that stuff happened.

01:25:21.000 And here we are.

01:25:22.000 And you guys are touring again.

01:25:24.000 Yeah.

01:25:24.000 How long have you been touring again?

01:25:25.000 When did you guys get back together?

01:25:27.000 08. 08. Yeah.

01:25:29.000 11 years.

01:25:30.000 Yeah.

01:25:31.000 How crazy is that, that that's 11 years ago?

01:25:33.000 That doesn't seem like 11 years ago.

01:25:34.000 I know.

01:25:35.000 When you say 08, it's like, oh, it just happened.

01:25:37.000 And you're like, oh, no, no, no.

01:25:38.000 It's 2019. It's almost 2020. I know.

01:25:42.000 Weird.

01:25:42.000 I know that that train keeps rolling.

01:25:45.000 It just never stops.

01:25:46.000 What is this, Jamie?

01:25:47.000 This is Bobby Taylor and the Vancouver's.

01:25:50.000 Whoa.

01:25:52.000 That's me.

01:25:53.000 That's you?

01:25:54.000 Yeah.

01:25:54.000 How old were you there?

01:25:57.000 Twenty...

01:25:58.000 Bobby Taylor and the Vancouver's.

01:26:01.000 Why does that guy have sunglasses on?

01:26:03.000 Yeah.

01:26:04.000 They did it even back then.

01:26:05.000 Wow.

01:26:06.000 Bobby Taylor and the Vancouver's.

01:26:08.000 That's the Motel on Sunset Strip.

01:26:11.000 Is that you with the yellow jacket?

01:26:13.000 Which one's you?

01:26:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:15.000 That's you?

01:26:16.000 Yeah, that's me.

01:26:17.000 Wow.

01:26:18.000 That's me.

01:26:18.000 That's crazy.

01:26:21.000 And then we went over to England.

01:26:24.000 Met Jimi Hendrix.

01:26:26.000 Whoa.

01:26:27.000 And changed our lives.

01:26:28.000 This is the way we looked when we went over there.

01:26:31.000 And we come back, long hair, everybody wore different clothes.

01:26:36.000 Wow.

01:26:37.000 Now, when you went from this to comedy, how did you make that leap?

01:26:44.000 Well, nobody really...

01:26:48.000 Knew that I could talk.

01:26:50.000 I was in a black band, so everybody else...

01:26:52.000 I was a guitar player, so I had nothing to say other than I owned the club.

01:26:59.000 And no one knew that.

01:27:00.000 No one knew that.

01:27:01.000 I was always a backup guitar player.

01:27:05.000 When I got into comedy, well, what happened?

01:27:08.000 I had hired, when I turned the strip club into an improvisation club, I hired the act we already had, which was a black tap dancer named Taps Harris.

01:27:20.000 And Jeannie, a black singer, and they had a band.

01:27:24.000 The first skit was about a pajama party that all the strippers were having at their house after.

01:27:33.000 And so they all change into their pajamas in their little nighties.

01:27:38.000 And that was very sexy.

01:27:39.000 And then Taps comes by after the show, you know, so-called.

01:27:45.000 And they say, hey Taps, do that number that you did on the show.

01:27:48.000 And so Taps, first time he ever tap danced, you know, in front of a live audience.

01:27:53.000 Because usually he was just an MC. So he did his tap dance.

01:27:57.000 And it was so good that everybody wanted to encore.

01:28:00.000 So they made him do an encore.

01:28:02.000 He quit that night.

01:28:04.000 Really?

01:28:05.000 It was too hard work, man.

01:28:08.000 He was hired to just, and here comes Lolo.

01:28:11.000 And so the doorman, an English guy named Dave, and so I said, Dave, I need an emcee, you know.

01:28:20.000 He said, well, I'll do it if you do it.

01:28:23.000 And so I, oh, okay.

01:28:25.000 And so we became, Dave was my first partner.

01:28:27.000 And so we started, we had long hair, we were like hippies.

01:28:31.000 And so we did a lot of hippies and TNA jokes, you know, tits and ass jokes.

01:28:39.000 And we had a guitar player named Gay DeLorme.

01:28:42.000 He wrote our big hit, You're In My Eye.

01:28:46.000 He wrote the music.

01:28:48.000 And so Gay was this incredible guitarist.

01:28:51.000 But he was a very funny, funny, funny guy.

01:28:55.000 And so we wrote a skit, you know, where...

01:28:58.000 We would torture the audience.

01:28:59.000 They're all bikers, mostly bikers, you know, come to a strip bar, you know, bikers and that.

01:29:03.000 And so the first act, we had it, because when we turned it into a theater company, we attracted all the theater people, all the performers, you know, there's a stage, oh boy, we'll go work there.

01:29:15.000 And so we had a mime artist.

01:29:18.000 And so we opened the show with a mime artist and Gay playing classical guitar.

01:29:22.000 He's playing this classical guitar.

01:29:24.000 Now this is a strip joint and all the hardened bikers are sitting around waiting for naked girls to come out and here comes a mime artist.

01:29:33.000 Pretending he's picking flowers and smelling them and prancing around the stage.

01:29:42.000 So the bikers sat through that.

01:29:45.000 They were yelling things like, Hey Elvis!

01:29:49.000 The remarks weren't that funny.

01:29:51.000 And then Dave would come out, and Dave's a very funny-looking guy.

01:29:56.000 He looks like an improv actor.

01:29:59.000 And he'd come out, and he sings this horrible song.

01:30:02.000 I dream of Jeannie with the light brown.

01:30:05.000 Hair genie is my favorite, wired hair terrier.

01:30:09.000 And then just when the bikers are getting ready to revolt, I kicked the door open.

01:30:16.000 We had doors in the back, you know, and I kicked the door open and I'm shirtless, my hair's messed up, and I got a rolled up newspaper.

01:30:24.000 And I walk over to Dave, I go, what kind of fucking song is that?

01:30:28.000 Beat him to death with this newspaper.

01:30:31.000 And the bikers just explode.

01:30:33.000 The whole joint just exploded with laughter.

01:30:36.000 Because we created that tension that long.

01:30:40.000 And then the release was like a roar.

01:30:43.000 And then the word went out.

01:30:45.000 Boom.

01:30:45.000 And that place was packed almost every night.

01:30:49.000 Wow, what a weird world it must have been back then.

01:30:51.000 Look at this.

01:30:52.000 The city works.

01:30:53.000 Yeah, there we are.

01:30:54.000 There's Dave.

01:30:55.000 Satirical sexy at the Shanghai jump.

01:30:58.000 There's Cheech on the far right.

01:31:00.000 Wow, that's Cheech.

01:31:03.000 That's crazy that that's Cheech.

01:31:05.000 That's Dave, and that's me.

01:31:07.000 Wow.

01:31:08.000 Without a goatee.

01:31:10.000 And that's the mime artist, Ian, the mime artist.

01:31:13.000 And it's Wendy, Maureen, and Shirley.

01:31:16.000 Wow.

01:31:17.000 What a weird world.

01:31:19.000 Is it crazy looking at that?

01:31:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:23.000 Wow.

01:31:24.000 Memories, huh?

01:31:27.000 Sandy and Lawrence.

01:31:28.000 That was the first strip joint.

01:31:30.000 Starting Tuesday.

01:31:31.000 Yeah.

01:31:32.000 Wow.

01:31:33.000 The police were there.

01:31:34.000 And when did you start doing albums with Cheech?

01:31:37.000 Cheech?

01:31:38.000 When did that happen?

01:31:38.000 71. How'd that all take place?

01:31:42.000 Well, we came to L.A. in 70, and we struggled with all the places we could work.

01:31:50.000 Then we started being a regular at the Troubadour.

01:31:54.000 They had Hootenanny night, Sunday night.

01:31:56.000 What's that mean?

01:31:57.000 What's Hootenanny?

01:31:58.000 Hootenanny is when folk singers would get on stage and sing a song.

01:32:02.000 Hootenanny.

01:32:03.000 Hootenanny.

01:32:03.000 The Hootenanny night.

01:32:04.000 And so all the singers would sing.

01:32:07.000 And so we would get up and do comedy.

01:32:10.000 And, of course, we became regulars.

01:32:14.000 In fact, the troubadour would phone us up and say, are you guys coming?

01:32:18.000 Because they had a lot of requests.

01:32:20.000 And how did it turn into this weed-based comedy?

01:32:23.000 Well, it was the only thing that worked in this audience.

01:32:27.000 The weed.

01:32:27.000 See, when we were at City Works, it was all T&A, you know.

01:32:31.000 Right.

01:32:31.000 But when we got down here, we had to go right for the stoners because that was what was going on, you know.

01:32:37.000 And so we played a club in Reseda, Irma Hotel, that was what it was called.

01:32:45.000 And it was owned by a crazy, a big fan.

01:32:48.000 He saw us work somewhere and so he hired us for two nights.

01:32:52.000 And the first night, First night, we had to do two shows, but it was a dance club.

01:32:59.000 And so the dancers had to stop dancing, sit down and watch us do a show.

01:33:04.000 And it was not a good combination.

01:33:06.000 So the first show didn't go very well because we were doing TNA stuff and it just didn't go over.

01:33:12.000 And so the second show, Cheech and I got together and I said, Cheech, come on, man, you're from here.

01:33:18.000 There must be a character you can do.

01:33:21.000 And the night before that, we were standing outside and this lowrider pulls up and he goes, hey man, tell me how to get to Reseda Boulevard.

01:33:30.000 And Chief says, oh, you're on it.

01:33:32.000 He goes, oh, thanks, man.

01:33:34.000 And he drove away.

01:33:36.000 And it was that character.

01:33:38.000 And Chief says, yeah, well...

01:33:40.000 Yeah, we can do that character.

01:33:41.000 And then I showed him the car bit, this old black comedian showed me, Sir Pineapple.

01:33:48.000 He showed me this old taking a girl out on a date, and he'd just make the car appear by pretending to wash it, wax, you know, just do the mime, and the car would appear, and then Cheech got in the car, and he's driving, and then he goes, Hey, Red Freak,

01:34:04.000 want to ride, man?

01:34:04.000 And then I would come out, and we'd do our skits, and And it went over really well.

01:34:10.000 As soon as we started doing, you know, weed and pills and stuff like that, everybody related.

01:34:17.000 So you feel like you had that, and then you just ran with it?

01:34:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:21.000 Yeah.

01:34:22.000 And then we just improved, improved, improved, improved.

01:34:24.000 And so when we met Lou Adler saw us, And we never thought about doing a record until we went to meet in his office.

01:34:32.000 He's got gold records all over the place.

01:34:35.000 And we said, yeah, we'll do a record.

01:34:38.000 I was a big Lenny Bruce fan anyway.

01:34:40.000 Because when I got high the first time, the guy gave me a joint and a Lenny Bruce record.

01:34:46.000 So I studied that record for months.

01:34:51.000 And so that was ingrained in my head.

01:34:54.000 And so then when we started doing it, the first bit we did was an accident.

01:34:59.000 Cheech got locked outside the mix-down room that we were in La Brea, you know, the old Charlie Chaplin studio.

01:35:06.000 And it was a little courtyard where the sun was beating down.

01:35:10.000 It was like noon and it was hot.

01:35:12.000 And Cheech is a method actor and he had to put on all the costumes, you know, to get into character.

01:35:18.000 So he's got all these costumes on, he knocks on the door, and I was working the tape recorder, and when he knocked, I looked up at the door, and I didn't see if the needle moved or not.

01:35:30.000 And so when he knocked, it didn't answer, and then he knocked again, and I saw the needle moved.

01:35:35.000 And so I said, who is it?

01:35:38.000 And I was supposed to just open the door and let him in.

01:35:41.000 And so there's a pause.

01:35:42.000 It's me, man!

01:35:44.000 It's me!

01:35:45.000 Let me in!

01:35:46.000 Come on, man!

01:35:49.000 Is that where Dave's Not Here came from?

01:35:50.000 Yeah, so I waited, then he knocked again in a long pause, the pause.

01:35:56.000 Who is it?

01:35:56.000 And he's getting mad.

01:35:58.000 Come on, man, it's me.

01:35:59.000 I think the cops saw me.

01:36:00.000 Come on, open up.

01:36:01.000 Then he went into character.

01:36:03.000 Then I just wait, wait, wait.

01:36:06.000 He's waiting for me to open the door.

01:36:08.000 Then he knocked again.

01:36:09.000 And then finally he goes, it's me, Dave, man, Dave!

01:36:13.000 I said, Dave?

01:36:14.000 And he goes, yeah.

01:36:15.000 I go, Dave's Not Here.

01:36:18.000 He blew it.

01:36:20.000 Kicking the door, screaming, open the door.

01:36:22.000 You almost punched me.

01:36:25.000 But I said, listen, listen, listen.

01:36:27.000 We played it back.

01:36:29.000 Then Lou heard it.

01:36:31.000 We recorded it.

01:36:32.000 Not as funny, but we recorded it.

01:36:34.000 And next day, it was all over America.

01:36:38.000 Cheech and Chong was born.

01:36:40.000 Wow.

01:36:40.000 And then how long after that did you start doing movies?

01:36:43.000 Seven years.

01:36:45.000 78. We started doing the movies because I got tired of going to Australia.

01:36:50.000 Did you guys get accused of promoting pot?

01:36:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:54.000 Did you get accused, like, you guys are a bad influence on the youth?

01:36:58.000 What was that like?

01:37:00.000 It was nothing, really.

01:37:02.000 It was more publicity, basically.

01:37:05.000 You know, it's just people.

01:37:06.000 You know what really got...

01:37:09.000 What really, I noticed anyway, it was the comedy establishment, the committee and the Second City and all those guys.

01:37:18.000 They hated us.

01:37:20.000 Really?

01:37:20.000 Hated us.

01:37:21.000 Why?

01:37:22.000 Except Belushi.

01:37:23.000 Belushi was the only one that loved us.

01:37:25.000 Because Belushi was young enough that he heard our records and it influenced him.

01:37:31.000 But these other guys, like, what's his name?

01:37:35.000 Can't even think of his name now.

01:37:37.000 Maybe it's better.

01:37:38.000 I don't even name him.

01:37:39.000 But Howard Hessman, he was one of the committee members, you know, WKRP in Cincinnati.

01:37:48.000 He was a big, and I got influenced by him big time.

01:37:54.000 Because I saw them doing the committee in San Francisco, and they had a top-notch improv group there, and they were incredible.

01:38:02.000 And that's where I got the inspiration to go up and turn the strip club into an improvisational club, because I love improv.

01:38:09.000 But why didn't those guys like you?

01:38:11.000 Because we were successful.

01:38:13.000 We took what they were doing and took it out of that snotty theater, you know, I'm so evolved theatrically, you know, who does records, you know, that kind of thing.

01:38:29.000 So records were bad back then?

01:38:31.000 Well, they ended up trying to do a record, but they had no clue.

01:38:36.000 See, I'm a fighter, man.

01:38:38.000 I've been in the trenches forever.

01:38:40.000 I've been playing black clubs as long as I can remember.

01:38:44.000 And so I've seen a lot of humor, a lot of stand-up comics.

01:38:49.000 Red Foxx was a real good friend of mine.

01:38:51.000 Did you ever do his comedy club?

01:38:53.000 Yeah.

01:38:54.000 Did you ever hear those Richard Pryor tapes from the Red Fox Comedy Club?

01:38:58.000 They would record him doing his workout sets.

01:39:01.000 Fucking amazing stuff.

01:39:02.000 Oh, amazing.

01:39:03.000 Oh yeah, Richard.

01:39:04.000 And Richard was a big fan.

01:39:06.000 Now, see, we had fans like that.

01:39:08.000 When Cheech and I did the Comedy Store after Up and Smoke, We broke up with Lou.

01:39:15.000 We were broke.

01:39:16.000 We had a hit movie, no money, nothing coming in.

01:39:19.000 Really?

01:39:19.000 What happened?

01:39:20.000 They stole your money?

01:39:21.000 With Lou?

01:39:22.000 Yeah.

01:39:22.000 Who's Lou?

01:39:23.000 Lou Adler.

01:39:24.000 Okay.

01:39:25.000 He's a producer and director of Up in Smoke.

01:39:28.000 Although I wrote it and directed most of it, especially the ending.

01:39:35.000 I directed it.

01:39:36.000 Like again, like I said before, I'm not into the money part of it.

01:39:41.000 But how were you guys broke?

01:39:43.000 Well, we weren't getting any money from our life because we had to stop touring because of the movie.

01:39:49.000 And so we had no touring money coming in.

01:39:51.000 Right.

01:39:52.000 And then we got paid a little bit on the movie, but nothing compared to what we were making on the road.

01:40:01.000 But it was a hugely successful movie, right?

01:40:03.000 Totally.

01:40:04.000 Totally.

01:40:04.000 But that's the way it is.

01:40:05.000 The smoke was giant.

01:40:06.000 They took all the money.

01:40:07.000 Yeah.

01:40:08.000 Yeah, they did.

01:40:09.000 I mean, we got dribs and drabs at the end of the accounting time.

01:40:15.000 Yeah, Hollywood accounting.

01:40:16.000 Yeah, at the end of the period of, you know, when you've gone on to something else and you get a check, oh, that's nice.

01:40:25.000 So Cheech and I went to the comedy store to get our act together.

01:40:30.000 And Richard Pryor helped us off the stage.

01:40:33.000 We had about five sold-out shows.

01:40:36.000 Paula Shore was a little guy up in the light booth watching us because he was too young to be in the crowd.

01:40:43.000 And as we walked off the stage the first night, Richard held out his hand.

01:40:50.000 It was the greatest compliment ever.

01:40:52.000 Wow.

01:40:54.000 That must have been incredible.

01:40:55.000 It was.

01:40:56.000 Listen, man, you had an amazing life.

01:40:58.000 You really have.

01:40:59.000 The I Ching was correct.

01:41:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:02.000 Totally.

01:41:03.000 It's worked out incredible.

01:41:04.000 I've got to find a professional.

01:41:06.000 You've got to get them to come in and read us the I Ching.

01:41:08.000 Somebody really knows their shit.

01:41:09.000 Do it.

01:41:10.000 It's easy.

01:41:11.000 Read it.

01:41:12.000 There's one called the Armstrong version.

01:41:16.000 I'll text it to you.

01:41:17.000 Okay.

01:41:17.000 And just read it.

01:41:19.000 Hey, listen, if I can follow instructions, anybody can follow instructions.

01:41:24.000 Well, listen, brother, it was a pleasure having you on.

01:41:26.000 Tell people about your weed, Chong's Choice.

01:41:29.000 We're going to get it.

01:41:30.000 Dispensary's everywhere.

01:41:31.000 Is there a website?

01:41:32.000 Yeah, there's websites.

01:41:34.000 Actually, the fun is finding Chong's Choice.

01:41:37.000 Because we are so elite as far as the testing and the purity of the product that it's very rare that certain dispensaries have it.

01:41:50.000 A lot of dispensaries don't.

01:41:53.000 And they'll try to sell you something else.

01:41:55.000 But don't settle for less, man.

01:41:57.000 Chong's Choice is the best.

01:41:59.000 Chong's Choice, ladies and gentlemen.

01:42:00.000 It's way better than Cheech's Private Scotch.

01:42:03.000 Oh!

01:42:04.000 How dare you?

01:42:06.000 No, no, teach us.

01:42:07.000 I mean, it's okay, but it's Mexican, you know?

01:42:10.000 Well, thank you, sir.

01:42:11.000 Thanks for coming on here, man.

01:42:12.000 It's always a pleasure.

01:42:13.000 My pleasure, Joe.

01:42:14.000 And an honor.

01:42:15.000 Thank you.

01:42:15.000 Tommy Chong, ladies and gentlemen.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 23, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1303 - Tommy Chong

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