Joe Rogan Experience #1317 - Andrew Santino
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 52 minutes
Words per Minute
205.85356
Hate Speech Sentences
122
Summary
Santino and I talk about steak, pasta, and the weird things we like to order at Italian restaurants. We also talk about the best and worst things you can order at an Italian restaurant and how you can make the best pasta you ve ever had at a Chinese restaurant. Enjoy this episode and don t forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform so you never miss an episode. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Thanks for listening and Good Luck Out There! Timestamps: 0:00 - What's the best Italian food you ve eaten? 4:30 - How to make a good pasta dish 6:20 - What do you like to eat at a restaurant 8:00 - How do you order Italian food in an Italian place 9:00- What s the worst thing you ve ordered from an Italian establishment 11:15 - What s your favorite Italian food 16:00 -- How does your pasta taste like? 17:30 What's your favorite pasta dish? 18:40 - What is your favorite thing to cook 19:30 -- What is a good Italian food? 21:15 -- How do I like to cook? 22:40 -- What would you order at a Bocchetta 25:00 | What do I order from a Chinese place? 26: What s my favorite Italian restaurant? 27:00 // 27:20 -- What santa's favorite pasta? 28:30 // 29:00:00 What s a good piece of meat? 29:30 | What's my favorite pasta piece? 30:00 / 32:00 & 35:00 Can I order a steak? 31:00 + 32:10 35:40 36:00/35:00 Are you hungry? 33:30/36:00 Do you have a pasta dish from a restaurant that I m going to make me feel like I m having a good meal? 35,000/37:30 / 36:30 & 39:00 Is there a pasta piece that I d like to try a steak or pasta like that? 39:10 / 40:30 + 39:40 / 40,000 / 45,000 40:40/40,000 + 41,000?
Transcript
00:00:24.000
This is me with my own charcoal company called...
00:00:26.000
If you're in the market for some charcoal, man...
00:00:37.000
Barbecue is the only truly manly way of cooking.
00:00:40.000
Like, nobody brags about having a baker's hat on.
00:01:13.000
I put rosemary in the cast iron skillet with the beef tallow.
00:01:30.000
If I go to an Italian restaurant and the dude talks like that, I am excited.
00:01:36.000
If it's just a regular person, even if they're nice, I'm disappointed.
00:01:41.000
Even if it's like the nicest waiter ever, I'm like, dude, you seem like a great guy, but damn, I wish you were from Italy.
00:01:47.000
Yeah, he's like, I'm just whipping you guys up, some Fredicini Alfredo.
00:01:50.000
You're like, ugh, nobody from Italy back there, man?
00:01:59.000
Like, I go to a Greek restaurant, I would hope the guy would not have an accent.
00:02:04.000
He could or he couldn't, as long as I can understand him, that's great.
00:02:10.000
Yeah, because there's something about it that's different.
00:02:16.000
If it's Chinese, people making Mexican food, or Mexican people making Chinese food, it's always one of those weird things.
00:02:26.000
You get those, though, like at those, you know, those chain places.
00:02:41.000
There's no Chinese guy who greets you at the door?
00:02:47.000
In college, that was my job, is valeting a Bucca di Beppo.
00:02:50.000
If you want straight-up, filling, old-school Italian food, Bucca di Beppo, bro, they will hook you up.
00:03:00.000
Bucca di Beppo is the Chinese food of Italian places.
00:03:04.000
Like how Chinese places give you way too much food?
00:03:06.000
Bucca di Beppo is like 50 pounds of fucking pasta when you go to Bucca di Beppo.
00:03:10.000
They bring that aluminum tin out with the rigatoni and you're like, who the fuck are you?
00:03:16.000
For a full fucking kingdom, who can eat the food?
00:03:23.000
And that's also rigatoni, like that kind of food, you keep going.
00:03:30.000
Like that carb, when you're eating like a good linguine with clams, you're like, oh, mmm.
00:03:40.000
The chewy goo that has no nutritional value is going in your stomach like, oh, it's so good.
00:03:48.000
It's mixed in with some sauce to give the illusion of healthiness.
00:03:55.000
And you're just like, ugh, when your body's trying to process it afterwards.
00:04:01.000
Sometimes when you eat too much pasta, you feel like drunk.
00:04:12.000
Everybody remembers from the time we were kids.
00:04:14.000
Apparently, someone told me that you don't get a significant enough amount of tryptophan from Turkey for it to put you to sleep like that.
00:04:25.000
So I've been told that there's always tryptophan that's been in turkey, but the running joke is that after Thanksgiving dinner, you pass out, but that's actually because of all the other shit.
00:04:35.000
You're eating fucking mashed potatoes, tons of carbs, fucking Hawaiian bread rolls, carbs.
00:04:41.000
Contrary to popular belief, eating turkey isn't the main reason you feel sleepy after a Thanksgiving feast.
00:04:46.000
The oft-repeded turkey myth stems from the fact that turkey contains an amino acid tryptophan.
00:04:51.000
Which forms the basis of brain chemicals to make people tired, but it's not true.
00:04:55.000
I mean, it does, but it's not the thing that knocks you out.
00:04:57.000
Being a fat fuck and sitting on your couch and drinking 40 beers is what makes you sleepy.
00:05:01.000
Yeah, so it says tryptophan is a component of the brain chemical serotonin, which gets converted into the well-known sleep-inducing hormone melatonin.
00:05:10.000
And poultry and many other foods also contain tryptophan.
00:05:16.000
Gram for gram, cheddar cheese actually contains more tryptophan than turkey does.
00:05:25.000
Yeah, you just become a fat piece of shit and you just feel like you're supposed to keep eating and eating and eating.
00:05:30.000
There's an interview with Cat Williams who's sitting in the back of a limo.
00:05:33.000
I talked about this with Miss Pat where he talked about not eating before shows.
00:05:40.000
And it made me realize, oh, eating before shows is a terrible idea.
00:05:44.000
Because then your body's got to process all that and you come out like half-assed.
00:05:50.000
After shows is actually when it tastes the fucking best.
00:05:59.000
Because you have some fruit, it's like you're getting some carbohydrates, you're getting some sugar, you're getting some fiber.
00:06:10.000
You could eat melon and then do a sick kettlebell workout.
00:06:18.000
It's a little baby sugar rush, too, that probably helps your energy a little bit.
00:06:21.000
Your body just, you mash it into mush so quick, and it just goes sliding down there.
00:06:27.000
We should do the tired tour where we just eat a huge meal before we get on stage and see what comes out of that fucking shit.
00:06:38.000
Like one of those ridiculous fucking sausage and cheese with the layers of the bread on the outside.
00:06:49.000
And you take a couple of bites of that and you're just like...
00:06:55.000
But if you looked at, like, the size of what you would eat on one of those motherf- Oh, lasagna.
00:07:05.000
You ain't doing no fucking crosswords after that.
00:07:14.000
I would wonder if the brain activity slows down so much more.
00:07:17.000
I wonder what the active level of brain activity is when your stomach is filled.
00:07:21.000
I bet you lose like 80 points of IQ. You have just enough to get around.
00:07:26.000
Someone should come to you and try to get you to do things.
00:07:36.000
Fellas, you want your wife to sign a prenup, go ahead and fatter out on puka de beppo lasagna, and then she'll sign whatever the fuck you want.
00:07:42.000
I don't think I could, like, when I drive home after having a full meal, I feel more fucked up and, like, out of it than if I have a couple of drinks.
00:07:51.000
Your reaction time would be slower if you were full and you were driving.
00:07:55.000
Just like it's, just like you're tired when you're full and you don't talk as well.
00:08:06.000
But part of the thing you're supposed to sell at the end of the meal is like limoncello or espresso because it's supposed to be like a digestive.
00:08:14.000
But maybe it is something to that where it helps you digest a little better.
00:08:19.000
In Italy, they all do it as an end of the meal to clear you out a little bit.
00:08:24.000
The acid's going to help you break down some shit.
00:08:32.000
In Brazil, when you go to those churrascarias, they have this delicious dessert that has papaya in it.
00:08:48.000
And they have that specifically because the enzymes in papaya help break down the meat.
00:09:06.000
Sun that will fucking rock you at the end of a good meal.
00:09:31.000
And Jeremy Corbell, the guy who made the documentary.
00:09:40.000
I, you know, I had no indication that he's full of shit.
00:09:48.000
When you've told a story for as many years as many times as he did, it's super hard to be consistent if you're just making everything up.
00:10:05.000
To have things that you're saying back then that everybody says don't even exist eventually turn out to be true.
00:10:17.000
His initial story had something to do with this thing called Element 115, which most people didn't even recognize that it actually existed.
00:10:37.000
Look, I don't know enough about elements and the table to understand it.
00:10:48.000
This guy is obviously smart as fuck, and he's a scientist that definitely worked at Los Alamos lab.
00:10:55.000
And they tried to deny that, and they tried to erase it.
00:10:57.000
That alone tells me, just the fact that they tried to say that he didn't exist, he never worked at Los Alamos lab.
00:11:07.000
In the 1980s, you don't think they could just erase your past?
00:11:12.000
You don't think that they could just erase your birth certificate or erase your medical records or erase your dental records?
00:11:19.000
Tell me you saw that documentary about the three identical strangers.
00:11:28.000
I mean, essentially, in so many words, without divulging too much, three brothers are born, triplets are born, and they are separated at birth, unbeknownst to them.
00:11:37.000
They grow up completely independently, run into each other later in life.
00:11:45.000
Not Donahue, but one of those fucking big shows.
00:11:49.000
And they end up finding out later in the documentary, spoiler alert, that there's a company who is doing this.
00:11:55.000
That's doing trial tests on babies that are separated and putting them with different families to find out if they end up growing up with similar characteristics.
00:12:12.000
And show up and test their family to find out how they're growing these children.
00:12:21.000
They'd come test them every week or two, and they'd be doing checkups, and the parents almost didn't even know.
00:12:27.000
Well, one of the parents seemed to be more keen about it, and the other ones just felt like, well, they were getting money for it, so they were like, this is just a part of a program that we're in.
00:12:34.000
Bro, how is that much different than aliens abducting people?
00:12:40.000
You're doing an involuntary life and genetics test.
00:12:49.000
Like, the nurse or the assistant from the doctor that was doing it says there is data.
00:12:53.000
She has read it, but it has never been released, and it should be because they fucked up all these people's lives.
00:13:00.000
It's in a library, in, like, Harvard Library, and it legally can't be released to the public.
00:13:07.000
It's someone's holding onto it, and it cannot be released.
00:13:10.000
They've tried hundreds of times, and it's got a...
00:13:17.000
So then they'll just go away and no one will think about it anymore.
00:13:23.000
And then you find out in the documentary they're not the only ones.
00:13:27.000
They've done this over and over and over and over.
00:13:37.000
You know when you're on a plane watching something so good and you look around like to other people, you're like...
00:13:41.000
No one's watching it, but I'm like, it's fucking shit.
00:13:48.000
So yes, do I think that Lazar had people trying to ix out his pen?
00:14:06.000
The big questions are, is it education background?
00:14:12.000
No, whether or not he actually was educated at a certain place.
00:14:16.000
I'm not, I can't, this is a fucked up one, but I can't say what he told me.
00:14:21.000
I... But essentially, without saying it, it had to do with projects he was working on.
00:14:39.000
I mean, I told them I wouldn't say anything, so I said I wouldn't say anything.
00:14:45.000
But whatever he said about all these different things, only he knows if it's true.
00:14:52.000
So when you're talking to a guy, he doesn't seem like a liar.
00:14:58.000
He's talking about all kinds of different things.
00:15:00.000
So either he's running the greatest 30-year con of all time.
00:15:19.000
But he seems like a guy who's seen some shit and just didn't know what to do and told some friends about it and then We're good to go.
00:15:51.000
Where it was this thing that measured the distance, or the size rather, of the digits in your finger.
00:15:57.000
Apparently it's like a great, like your fingers, the inches are specific.
00:16:01.000
And so if you put your hand down on that thing and then Jamie's hand, it would give a different measurement.
00:16:05.000
Like there's different, each bone is a different length.
00:16:07.000
And the exact length is like 1.7, whatever the fuck it is.
00:16:18.000
It was calculating the length of your fingers through some kind of buggy system that he said didn't really work that often.
00:16:25.000
But people said that's science fiction, it doesn't exist.
00:16:27.000
And then they finally got photos of these things.
00:16:29.000
People that worked at Los Alamos Labs concluded, or they conceded that these were a real thing.
00:16:34.000
But for a long time they were fighting it, being like, that's not real.
00:16:36.000
Some people that didn't know were saying, he made that stuff up, it doesn't exist.
00:16:40.000
But it showed it does exist, and it did exist right there where he worked.
00:16:48.000
So when they went there with the documentary crew, with Jeremy Korbel, they just walked him through.
00:16:56.000
Look, maybe the guy's running the craziest con game of all time, and he's just a super genius and way smarter than me, and he tricked me, and he thinks it's hilarious.
00:17:08.000
What he was explaining that made it more and more interesting was how compartmentalized it was.
00:17:14.000
And about how the problem with being so compartmentalized is that science is based on free exchange of information.
00:17:21.000
You have to have guys who are testing all these different things and working on them together.
00:17:27.000
So he's limited to a couple of guys that are working on the propulsion system, and then there's a couple other guys that are working on the metallurgy and a couple other guys that are working on the navigation system.
00:17:36.000
And they chose him because he was kind of a maniac, and he put a fucking jet engine in the back of a Honda.
00:17:42.000
And it was on the cover of the Los Alamos newspaper.
00:17:45.000
And it said in the article about Bob Lazar with his fucking jet-powered Honda that he was a scientist at Los Alamos lab, a physicist.
00:17:53.000
So this was in the newspaper they printed this one.
00:17:55.000
This guy was doing this thing where he said he was living at the time in the area where Los Alamos was, and it said in the newspaper that he worked at the lab.
00:18:25.000
All the people he worked with are scared to talk.
00:18:32.000
He didn't want to have anything to do with this.
00:18:34.000
The only reason why he wanted to do my podcast...
00:18:37.000
Wanted one more chance to just get it out in a form where it's just him talking.
00:18:42.000
And he felt like he and I, we both talked about it.
00:18:49.000
And I'll let everybody figure out if it's true.
00:18:54.000
There was parts of me that said maybe I'm just dumber than this guy and he's like really manipulative and maybe he just knows how to tell a story and stick with it.
00:19:07.000
You can get cocky and think that you know that someone's not full of shit.
00:19:10.000
Yeah, but I feel like you talk to enough fucking people who are and aren't full of shit that your meter is higher than most.
00:19:17.000
So when I'm trying to talk to someone, I want things to work out well in conversation.
00:19:22.000
I want them to have a good time when we're talking.
00:19:26.000
Even if I angrily disagree with every fiber in my being...
00:19:30.000
As I've gotten older and better at it, better at talking to people, I avoid that kind of conflict.
00:19:38.000
But I just don't, I just think your bullshit meter is keen enough where you'd be like, I don't know.
00:19:46.000
Yeah, my ego would like to say, bro, I can fucking tell.
00:19:56.000
I think there's times when you know someone's full of shit.
00:19:59.000
And there's times where you think you know someone's full of shit and you're wrong.
00:20:04.000
This whole thing of looking in someone's eye and talking to them.
00:20:08.000
Sometimes someone will tell you something like, oh, bro, I didn't even know you called me.
00:20:58.000
I always say, sorry I didn't respond to your text.
00:21:04.000
As a man, if I text you and I'll get a text back, I don't get a fucking butt hurt.
00:21:16.000
If I needed a real response from you, I would call you and go, hey, I need to talk to you about something.
00:21:20.000
You ever have someone send you a text that's like a little on the needy side and then they send you one like three minutes later that says hello?
00:21:37.000
Some people just get real weird with like them sending them messages in a bottle.
00:21:44.000
And then the other side of it is Bobby Lee who literally never answers a text ever.
00:21:53.000
His notification is like 800 fucking little red, you know?
00:22:00.000
But everyone who's friends with him knows that's just Bobby.
00:22:11.000
Well, it's also like you can't call as many people as you can text.
00:22:15.000
And I think there's an overload of communication that occurs when you're texting with like 10 different friends at the same time.
00:22:21.000
I got dudes sending me videos of them kicking pads and people sending me...
00:22:27.000
Like, I fucking get these texts all day from all these crazy, interesting people.
00:22:32.000
Imagine if I got that many phone calls in a day.
00:22:43.000
Like, you would never, if you think about it, even if you have, like, three friends, and you're texting each other back and forth throughout the day, making jokes, maybe, you know, like, a group chat.
00:22:52.000
Talk a lot of shit and show ridiculous pictures.
00:22:55.000
Shit that would get me kicked out of the country.
00:22:59.000
I mean, you would never do that if it was phone calls.
00:23:02.000
You would be like, you needy bitch, I gotta call you all day?
00:23:04.000
I'm calling you in the morning, I gotta call you in the afternoon.
00:23:08.000
Even if we were, if you needed me to call you that many times in a day, I'd be like, hey, hey, hey.
00:23:16.000
Be happy being together, but also, you gotta be able to be alone.
00:23:20.000
If you need phone calls all day long, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:23:25.000
That's why a text is good because you could be in the middle of some shit, right?
00:23:28.000
If you're one of them dudes who's inclined to change a transmission, you want to rebuild an old Chrysler or something like that, you could be under there in that little text message.
00:23:40.000
Yeah, we're going to meet at 8. You know, it's minimal, right?
00:23:53.000
Duncan and I were talking about the other day about...
00:23:57.000
Like, finding information online, just constantly being inundated with stories of horrific things and bad things and terrible things and ugly things, that it's a bad diet.
00:24:14.000
That you are who you are, and this is just some stuff you're experiencing.
00:24:17.000
But much like if you eat healthy foods, your body feels better.
00:24:22.000
I think if you concentrate on healthy things, and interesting things, and fascinating things, and not horseshit, I think you're giving yourself a better mental diet.
00:24:35.000
I think if you consume too much of anything, it's bad, right?
00:24:37.000
So consuming too much of, even too much positive information can be fucking detrimental.
00:24:43.000
Yes, so you have to have some semblance of a balance of how you ingest.
00:24:46.000
But the people that only ingest negative, they're like people who only eat candy.
00:24:53.000
If you were a grown adult and for like 10 years you only ate candy, your body would be a mess.
00:25:03.000
If you just had to live off Snickers bars, how much nutrition is in a Snickers bar?
00:25:08.000
I want to do something with that dude who did the 30 days with the Big Macs.
00:25:14.000
Just eat nothing but Snickers and see how long you stay alive.
00:25:23.000
They're great to take on hikes, too, by the way.
00:25:30.000
When you're hiking up mountains and shit, people love Snickers bars.
00:25:33.000
But hey, I think even the Snickers people would tell you, don't live off that shit, stupid.
00:25:40.000
Like, there's a food you eat that you cannot live off of.
00:25:44.000
Because all food at one point you had to eat to live off of.
00:25:47.000
How many days do you think you could go with only eating Snickers bars?
00:25:51.000
And should this be the Sober October Challenge?
00:26:12.000
There's a post I just found from like two years ago where people asked this question and it was a discussion.
00:26:17.000
You have to eat about 12 to get the caloric intake to get that 2,000 a day.
00:26:32.000
Okay, the problem with that is everyone is not coming from the same starting point.
00:26:37.000
You have to have all those three twin guys separated and make them all eat Snickers until one of them dies.
00:26:48.000
Give them nothing but Snickers until someone's on the verge of death.
00:26:54.000
How many days do you think you could go on only Snickers?
00:26:56.000
I say two weeks is probably the human body will start to shut down.
00:27:04.000
There's a dude that's been eating just pizza for like 25 years.
00:27:14.000
My parents told me what to do my whole life, and I'm a grown man now, bitch.
00:27:22.000
The journalist tried to get him to have a piece of leafy greens.
00:27:29.000
Unless it's basil and a nice sauce, get that fucking green shit out of here.
00:28:09.000
How the fuck does someone eat nothing but that glue for 25 years?
00:28:22.000
Yeah, he looks remarkably good for someone who's only eating pizza for 25 years.
00:28:27.000
But they say skinny fat's fucking these people up.
00:28:39.000
That's why you can look small, but you don't have anything there.
00:29:00.000
That's like when I take pictures after shows and say how to people.
00:29:02.000
You know, and you grab, and some people you feel, and you're like, wow, that's fucking weird.
00:29:16.000
I mean, I'm not saying you have to be a bodybuilder.
00:29:27.000
This idea that some sort of nobility and humility and not caring about your body, it's silly.
00:29:38.000
I know that jocks were assholes and people bullied you.
00:29:42.000
But goddammit, take care of your fucking meat vehicle.
00:29:47.000
And people go, oh yeah, you're vain, that's why you work out.
00:30:05.000
Because of the growth of MMA... CrossFit, all of these new worlds that have kind of emerged socially now that are so much bigger than they were years ago, nerds that I grew up in high school are into working out.
00:30:20.000
It's like the biggest insecure people, now they've found a home in something that's disciplined.
00:30:29.000
It feels good to do things, whether it's taking a dance class.
00:30:55.000
I maybe want to actually do it five out of ten times.
00:31:10.000
If I was you, outside of you, knowing what I know, if I could read my mind, I'd be like, come on, bitch.
00:31:18.000
Get a sweat going, and then you're going to feel pumped.
00:31:22.000
And then, invariably, I'll be in the middle of the workout, I'm sweating, I'm like, fuck yeah.
00:31:29.000
It's like, you've got to push past that creepy resistance that Steven Pressfield wrote about in The War of Art.
00:31:37.000
It applies not just to art, not just to writing.
00:31:42.000
It applies to cleaning your room, it applies to saying you're sorry to a friend, it applies to taking care of a debt, all those things.
00:31:58.000
When you know something's, like, clean your fucking room, right?
00:32:08.000
Well, dude, I think it's also a personality trait, though, too, to be fair.
00:32:13.000
You know when someone goes, you don't have to do it all at once?
00:32:48.000
You could buy, like, I want a tree in my yard that's 500 years old.
00:33:03.000
And that piece of land is 100 acres, a beautiful piece of land.
00:33:07.000
You know, you don't own the animals on that land.
00:33:10.000
If there's wildlife on that land, if there's a bunch of deer on that land, you can't just shoot them.
00:33:16.000
You have to have state-allocated tags that give out a certain amount based on the deer population using wildlife biologists.
00:33:26.000
All these different ways they determine the numbers and they figure out how many people can hunt.
00:33:37.000
If you own some gigantic population of pine trees in the forest, like you own some giant swath of land that you're logging, like those logging companies do, they own those trees somehow.
00:34:01.000
They, like, completely overfish, you know what I mean?
00:34:05.000
And then they leave these big cut, like, these huge cut areas.
00:34:11.000
Like, have you ever been to the woods and seen a place that's been logged?
00:34:18.000
I hate to say it, but it's like, you're like, wow, that's, it's mesmerizing.
00:34:23.000
Right, because, well, there's a clearing now, right?
00:34:26.000
There's a clearing and the animals come out to eat the sprouts.
00:34:31.000
And it's a big open place, so it gets plenty of rain and sunlight.
00:34:35.000
Like, sometimes the canopy keeps, like, smaller things from growing.
00:34:40.000
And a lot of times in the canopy, too, like, everything's beaten down with pine needles, everything's covered, you know, with leaves and shit inside.
00:34:47.000
When you have a real thick forest, those big open areas, man, all these animals come out and you can find it in there.
00:34:56.000
They can smell you in an impossible distance way.
00:35:06.000
The only thing you can do is there's a thing called Ozonics that does work, but it only works if you're in one place.
00:35:12.000
So, like, if you're in a tree stand, you have a thing that you put above your head and it sheds ozone down on your body.
00:35:19.000
And what the ozone does, and this is how it's been explained to me, again, remember, I'm a moron.
00:35:26.000
I went to community college and then I went to Boston University, UMass Boston, rather, for three years in their continuing education program.
00:35:37.000
But apparently, this ozone shit that comes down over you, it confuses the deer.
00:35:45.000
Like, the deer gets a scent, and it's like, what the fuck is that?
00:35:58.000
You'll see them just go like this and then just take off.
00:36:01.000
And you blow some, this like white talc in the air, like a puff of talc.
00:36:06.000
And as it drifts, you see which way the wind's blowing.
00:36:10.000
So when you're up there in the wind, you have this little, it's almost like a little baby powder type deal.
00:36:16.000
And you just press it and the stuff goes in the air.
00:36:25.000
You press a button, it just mist goes in the air.
00:36:31.000
And it's just for that, just to make smoke so you can see which way the smoke goes.
00:36:42.000
I don't think they're allowed to lie about this shit.
00:36:44.000
So essentially it creates a shield for your natural odor.
00:36:49.000
My friend John Dudley is a big believer in this.
00:36:53.000
Anything he's a big believer in, I'm a big believer in.
00:36:59.000
But still, if they see you move, if something funky comes their way, maybe it works 80% of the time.
00:37:11.000
Their vision is good, but they view things from an edge detection thing.
00:37:18.000
So if you just freeze, if you have camouflage on and you freeze, they'll often walk right by you.
00:37:25.000
Yeah, especially if you have, there's a thing, this is another thing, called a hex suit, H-E-C-S, and a hex suit, I wear one, I don't know if they really work, but they appear to work with birds, like they've proven that birds follow an electrical magnetic signal, that's how they get home.
00:37:40.000
They use the natural magnetism of the earth to figure out where the fuck they're going.
00:37:57.000
All these guys say that you put these suits on, birds have no idea you're there.
00:38:02.000
It blocks the electromagnetic signal that your body's giving off.
00:38:13.000
They put it on, wave it over this thing, there's no reaction, take it off, and then there's a reaction.
00:38:17.000
Where it's detecting the signal that your body puts out.
00:38:20.000
The real question is, they prove that it does that.
00:38:23.000
The real question is, can animals really see it?
00:38:32.000
But if a deer smells you, he's going to just start running.
00:38:35.000
What's the only fix for the smell thing other than that?
00:38:39.000
Their sense of smell is impossible to understand.
00:38:42.000
It's so much better than ours that what we have shouldn't even be called a sense of smell.
00:38:50.000
Yeah, like how well do ants do stand-up comedy?
00:38:59.000
But that's what the difference is in comparison to how bad our noses work versus a deer.
00:39:07.000
I think bears have a preposterous sense of smell.
00:39:11.000
I think a bear is like a hundred times stronger than a bloodhound.
00:39:45.000
My friend from Alaska, he goes halibut fishing all the time.
00:39:48.000
He said, if you're pulling a fish up, an eagle can see it miles away.
00:40:00.000
Grizzly can find an elk carcass when it's underwater and polar bears can smell a seal through three feet of ice.
00:40:16.000
Imagine if you were in a big concrete building and it's three feet thick and there's a bear on the outside going...
00:40:26.000
If that was a monster movie, be like, this is insane!
00:40:32.000
Their parents have already been killed, and they're just breathing.
00:40:58.000
Did you ever see the video where the BBC reporter gets inside a box?
00:41:08.000
And the polar bear's trying to eat him through this box?
00:41:17.000
Bro, and this guy's got cameras on him the whole time.
00:41:31.000
They're so big, and we've been really fucked over.
00:41:37.000
We've been really fucked over with goddamn Klondike bars and Coca-Cola.
00:41:43.000
We have a super distorted perception of this fucking predatory killing machine that eats its babies.
00:41:56.000
There's so few resources up there in the wild that this giant behemoth of a bear exists so he could just jack everything.
00:42:05.000
Just jack everything and keep the populations nice and low.
00:42:26.000
It's trying to get its fucking teeth through it.
00:42:28.000
Bro, when it's opening its mouth, that's a monster's mouth.
00:42:30.000
This is what I look like drunk at a McDonald's at fucking four in the morning trying to get food to the drive-thru.
00:42:43.000
Why would he be so convinced that that thing would survive?
00:42:53.000
Like, how long does it take to get him out of there?
00:42:56.000
They've got to find a way to distract this bear.
00:43:01.000
Yeah, it's got to get frustrated at some point.
00:43:14.000
Yeah, like, let's pretend the bear's right there.
00:43:30.000
I like how they kind of pretended like that was a totally safe, normal experiment for him to do.
00:43:36.000
You know, fucking polar bears, ironically, are black underneath all that white fur.
00:43:45.000
Well, you've got to imagine that people get snow tanned.
00:44:10.000
It's got mange, but you see how it has the hair on the top of its head's black?
00:44:14.000
I think someone just wrote that, and it doesn't mean it's correct.
00:44:19.000
They're dark, but underneath all that, they are really dark as well.
00:44:22.000
Hey, maybe when they get mange, their fucking hair on their head gets black.
00:44:39.000
They're the most terrifying because they're the biggest.
00:44:42.000
The top fourth picture is them spreading the hair apart, right?
00:44:48.000
Yeah, and see how the hair looks white, but it's actually, they say it's more of a clear color.
00:45:03.000
Imagine that thing lives in this place where there's no vegetables at all.
00:45:15.000
And it can eat a fucking, like a hole through ice to get to you, too.
00:45:37.000
I wonder how long they can stay in the water for, because they have to get out at some point.
00:46:01.000
Why would they do that when they could just do miles an hour?
00:46:04.000
I think knots were around before miles an hour.
00:46:06.000
No, well, kilometers were also before miles an hour.
00:46:11.000
I thought kilometers were the metric system and that was later.
00:46:20.000
Really smart people are like, why the fuck are they talking?
00:46:28.000
Bro, when I was in high school, they tried to put the metric system on us.
00:46:35.000
Fuck you and fuck your systems of 10. We leave out unnecessary letters, too.
00:47:02.000
The NHL, the reason they changed the blue line rule is because they wanted more goals.
00:47:18.000
So in soccer, when you have 90 minutes and sometimes no goals, I get it.
00:47:26.000
But if you understand how difficult it is, if you're a fan of the game...
00:47:34.000
He's the only black guy I know that loves soccer in America.
00:47:37.000
How many black fucking friends do you have that love soccer?
00:47:41.000
I don't have any black friends that watch soccer.
00:47:52.000
Born in Jamaica, then moved to England and New York.
00:48:02.000
We were organizing a comedian thing, but I had a family thing that I had to do.
00:48:06.000
But they look like a good time, especially if you want to get blasted.
00:48:09.000
On some of this Mike Tyson weed that we smoked today.
00:48:27.000
You know, whenever we say that polar bear populations are threatened, they definitely are, in certain spots.
00:48:34.000
But the places where polar bears occupy is enormous.
00:48:40.000
And we have this non-nuanced way of looking at polar bears.
00:48:44.000
So people would get really mad if they found out these Inuits were killing polar bears.
00:48:49.000
But sometimes these folks are living in places where polar bears start entering their villages...
00:49:20.000
See, I was going to say Fitzgerald, but I thought I was wrong because my friend Dave Fitzgerald, I was just talking about.
00:49:26.000
He told me that polar bears out of the womb are like Predator.
00:49:32.000
Like out of the womb, they're just trying to bite and kill.
00:49:40.000
If you stop and think about what their life is, everything is just white and frozen.
00:49:48.000
Occasionally you catch someone who's sunning themselves and you get to them before they can get away and you can dive in the water and grab a foot and drag them back up.
00:50:01.000
I don't know if this is true, but let's pretend it is.
00:50:04.000
There was some sort of an expedition and their boat hit some ice.
00:50:11.000
And they had a real problem because the next boat was hours away.
00:50:15.000
So they call in a mayday for the next boat, and they climb out of the boat in time before it sinks, and they get to an ice shelter, like an ice raft, an ice island, I guess.
00:50:29.000
And it's many, many ice land bridges or whatever the fuck it is.
00:50:37.000
But it keeps jumping in the water and getting closer.
00:50:40.000
It's trying to figure out what the fuck they are.
00:50:54.000
Takes him, kills him, drags him in the water again, goes back on the other ice island, just starts eating him.
00:51:02.000
They're one ice island away, hoping that he doesn't stay hungry after he eats their friend.
00:51:12.000
And they had to watch their friend get eaten alive.
00:51:22.000
Do you worry when you eat a clam that you're eating it in front of other clams?
00:51:34.000
Well, he probably knows that they're there if this isn't enough.
00:51:46.000
You'll freeze to death if you get in that water.
00:51:48.000
You just have to accept the fact that if it chooses to kill you, that's your time.
00:51:54.000
I would punch my buddy and knock him out so it's easier than...
00:51:59.000
You have to think about how much you love your friends.
00:52:00.000
Oh my god, there's so many people I'd knock out and leave for bears to eat.
00:52:14.000
Have you had a moment of near-death experience?
00:52:27.000
Every car accident is kind of a near-death experience.
00:52:39.000
Two people I knew crashed, and one person I knew saw someone get hit.
00:52:46.000
So two people I know crashed and fucked themselves up.
00:52:50.000
And another was Frank Mir, who was fighting in the UFC. He was one of the best heavyweights on the planet.
00:53:00.000
Snapped his leg in half, sent him flying through the air.
00:53:08.000
But the femurs, like the big upper leg, that's a really bad bone to break, man.
00:53:17.000
A lot of main arteries that can fucking bleed out real easily.
00:53:19.000
Yeah, it takes a long time for that leg comes back.
00:53:21.000
And for Frank, it was years before he was like 100% again.
00:53:26.000
It's arguable that something like that, you're always going to be playing catch-up.
00:53:40.000
Well, I was going to say, if you lived in a rural area, but did you hear about that guy that plowed into these bikers?
00:53:50.000
And there was this, I think they called themselves the Jarhead Bike Club or something like that, a bunch of Marines that got together and rode their bikes around, and this guy plowed into them and killed like seven of them.
00:54:05.000
I don't know if he was being careless, if he was speeding, I don't know.
00:54:15.000
So I was going to say, yeah, I drive a motorcycle on some rural road.
00:54:19.000
But it's some rural road, you gotta worry about people not paying attention and shit.
00:54:22.000
You move out to the middle of nowhere, you still don't fucking know.
00:54:27.000
Stephen King got hit by a guy who was, I think he dropped something in his car.
00:54:32.000
And so he was leaning over to pick up whatever the fuck he left in his van.
00:54:36.000
Stephen King was walking by the side of the road.
00:54:40.000
I feel like maybe it was his dog was doing something.
00:54:43.000
Anyway, the guy wasn't looking and hit him and just broke everything.
00:54:53.000
It took him forever before he could just sit at his desk again and write.
00:55:00.000
And he talks about it in his book on writing as well.
00:55:10.000
For some reason, Stephen King has always looked...
00:55:12.000
Like, every time I see a photo, I'm like, what is he fucking...
00:55:16.000
Well, bro, if you're carrying around that kind of evil inside your brain...
00:55:20.000
That fucked up shit has made him look old always.
00:55:27.000
Let's not go down a little Google rabbit hole, please.
00:55:33.000
Stephen King, think about how many amazing books that guy has written.
00:55:43.000
He's done a lot of different kinds of different things.
00:55:56.000
Many of his stories, not all of them, but many of his stories were a guy from Maine.
00:56:05.000
Yeah, it's not his story, but think about that, that he wrote that beautiful...
00:56:21.000
It's about an alien craft that crash-landed in the woods.
00:56:31.000
But I think it was based on some old fairy tale that people tell the scare kids.
00:56:48.000
There was a word that I heard that I thought was very funny that I wrote down that I was like, oh, Joe will think that's fucking wild.
00:56:52.000
But I like when I learn a new word, I go, oh, that's fucking...
00:57:03.000
This whole phone, since I've got the gold one, the new iPhone X. How many months has it been since you've been rocking no case?
00:57:22.000
I so admire how Neil deGrasse Tyson explained it.
00:57:27.000
I've made some catches that maybe is a gained ability because of doing that.
00:57:33.000
Otherwise, I might just let it drop if it was in one of them otter cases or something.
00:57:43.000
A Neil deGrasse Tyson ship, but I love the design of this thing.
00:57:51.000
And I see people with these huge cases, like, it's an OtterBox in case I fucking throw it off a cliff.
00:57:55.000
Why am I throwing my phone off a fucking cliff?
00:58:06.000
But also, I think about it in the sense of, I know this sounds privileged, fine, but I have AppleCare, which isn't that expensive.
00:58:24.000
It's based off of knockers who would have been miners trapped in a cave and would have been pounding on rocks to get rescued.
00:58:31.000
In his book, it's the aliens underground who are knocking on rocks.
00:58:40.000
I knew they were doing something that was changing the people.
00:58:50.000
Was it for TV? It was a miniseries for TV. How many episodes?
00:58:54.000
It's one of those ones where you almost got to imagine it in your head.
00:59:06.000
You're watching real dragons and people fucking and then sword fighting.
00:59:15.000
That movie, if you wanted to really figure out what the book is, it would have to be hours and hours and hours.
00:59:25.000
What was the other one where the dudes were in the woods and some alien crawled inside that guy's asshole and killed him?
00:59:45.000
It was the guy who was in that HBO series, Homeland.
01:00:03.000
I know what you're talking about, but this is a newer movie?
01:00:08.000
Well, first of all, that guy, find out the TV show Homeland First Season, and then you'll find the guy's name.
01:00:37.000
Go to Damien Lewis' IMDB. And there was a movie that he did a few years back that was a good fucking movie.
01:00:52.000
I was like, white trash, white trash, trailer trash, dream catcher!
01:00:59.000
That is the barbed wire around the bicep tattoo of the house accoutrements.
01:01:10.000
Whenever you see someone had one, you're like, dude, fuck, man.
01:01:25.000
You notice everyone that has a dream catcher hasn't caught one dream yet?
01:01:33.000
Yeah, it catches them, but you don't fucking get them, dummy.
01:01:35.000
If you were in a girl's house, imagine if you were single, and after all this conversation, the girl you dreams, she's got a goddamn dream catcher over the bed, and you're like, fuck.
01:01:48.000
But she believes in astrology, and she has a dream catcher.
01:01:58.000
It said I was smart and creative and gifted and that I'm beyond generous to my friends, which is totally true.
01:02:05.000
She wants you to rub, what is it, crystals or gems in your hand before you fuck?
01:02:09.000
She's like, can you roll these in your wrists before we get...
01:02:14.000
They'll change colors if you're really your true self.
01:02:18.000
Bro, how often when somebody goes, what's your astrological sign?
01:02:22.000
I'm always like, oh, get the fuck away from me.
01:02:25.000
Yeah, but I am a Leo, and Leos are supposed to be kind of douchey in a little bit of a way.
01:02:32.000
Aren't Leos supposed to be confident or something like that?
01:02:36.000
Does that mean I'm like every fucking guy born in October?
01:02:39.000
You should all get together and form a fucking club.
01:02:43.000
And then you would get banned from Facebook for being racist.
01:02:51.000
By the way, I can't wait for Sober October for me to keep drinking.
01:02:53.000
I want to come on the show and have a drink just to watch you guys battle nonsense.
01:02:59.000
Whatever you do, I'm still not going to be sober.
01:03:04.000
I have podcasts that are booked all the way up to then.
01:03:09.000
And I know there's going to be a lot of shit I have to do.
01:03:21.000
I know, but what about a different kind of challenge?
01:03:24.000
I'm like, you guys keep your fucking shitty headaches.
01:03:32.000
Someone's going to do a deep fake of Joe eating Snickers.
01:03:37.000
We had an idea of who could read the most books, the most pages.
01:03:41.000
But the problem with that is Bert would go, read it, read it, read it, read it.
01:04:03.000
It's not like there was a time in his life where he could do the split.
01:04:06.000
But here he is, 44 years old, faking he could do the splits.
01:04:12.000
He might seem like a guy that could do the splits.
01:04:13.000
For a guy that's been sitting on dick for that many years, I figured he could do the splits.
01:04:18.000
For bouncing on so much cock, I'm surprised Bert doesn't do the splits.
01:04:26.000
Well, I want to be invited so I can sit with Jamie and have a drink and get high while you guys do sober shit.
01:04:39.000
Yeah, get me and Jamie in one of those bubbles so we can just get high and drunk and roll over.
01:04:44.000
This is the new feature of the Joe Rogan experience.
01:04:48.000
First featured on the Duncan Trussell podcast, number 1313. It was Duncan's request that he be on that spiritual number.
01:05:08.000
Yeah, I did do it once, but I did it with a dude who did some...
01:05:12.000
He wanted you to drink certain herbs and shit, and he couldn't tell you why.
01:05:17.000
I just went to a fucking dope acupuncturist and got it done, and it's great.
01:05:33.000
If you could make your eyes per- What's wrong with my fucking eyes?
01:05:50.000
The smaller number at a second is the better vision.
01:05:57.000
But they can fix it, but you've got to keep your eyes open, like that movie Clockwork Orange.
01:06:02.000
Prop your eyes open and just puncture the shit out of your eyeballs.
01:06:08.000
I see these spears coming out of your eyeballs.
01:06:10.000
Dude, there's people that get tattoos on their fucking eyes.
01:06:30.000
And whatever happened, whether it is a chemical imbalance or whatever happened, what happened?
01:06:46.000
A man threw sandals at me this weekend at my show.
01:06:56.000
For this man, the Sunday show was fucking phenomenal in San Diego.
01:07:06.000
I'm joking around at the end of my show, very end, about...
01:07:10.000
People in San Diego think wearing sandals with jeans is appropriate.
01:07:16.000
It's like, douchebags fucking have their toes out, but wear like pants.
01:07:21.000
I'm like, let me guess, you're wearing jeans with sandals?
01:07:38.000
So, I turn to the left, and this dude throws a fucking...
01:07:48.000
Actually, in La Jolla, they have the old comedy store sign.
01:07:54.000
It hit the neon, and I was like, dude, what the fuck was that shit?
01:07:59.000
And it kind of, you know when something doesn't register?
01:08:04.000
So I turn, and then as I'm turning, another sandal gets tossed on stage.
01:08:10.000
I immediately, I was like, wait, what the fuck?
01:08:15.000
And the staff is coming up and grabbing this fucking moron.
01:08:19.000
And two dudes are standing up in the audience, ready to swing.
01:08:26.000
And he goes, I'm just kidding around, we're kidding around.
01:08:34.000
So they remove the dude, but the best part, or the most unfortunate part is, it's his daughter's 21st birthday.
01:08:43.000
Your shithead dad threw sandals at your fucking door.
01:08:51.000
Sorry your dad is a fucking moron and threw his sandals at us because that's how you get kicked out.
01:09:12.000
She was getting her purse and shit, and she's like, wavering through the crowd.
01:09:16.000
And the son is like, can I get back his sandals?
01:09:30.000
And then when I got on stage, I mean, he was just so loud.
01:09:34.000
And I go, dude, you gotta shut the fuck up, man.
01:09:42.000
And the lady who was in front of him, who's his girlfriend, they're kicking him out.
01:09:59.000
You saw me tell the guy, what the fuck are you doing, man?
01:10:10.000
But imagine the kind of enabling where you're right next to the guy who's yelling out stupid shit, interrupting the show.
01:10:21.000
You're watching this guy get kicked out and she looks at me like, did you do this?
01:10:45.000
Because it's so indicative of what we know to be true about certain people.
01:10:50.000
There are certain people that blame everyone else except themselves.
01:10:56.000
When you're watching a guy who says, she's like, he loves you.
01:10:59.000
I was like, well, he's ruining the fucking show.
01:11:01.000
Like, you just don't come to a show if you can't keep your fucking, your Tourette's in check.
01:11:07.000
You just want to scream shit out and just be acknowledged.
01:11:13.000
The same show, the Sunday show, we were joking around how crazy it was, in the middle of a setup.
01:11:17.000
I'm about to tell a fucking setup, and a guy goes, Santino, what's your favorite thing about San Diego?
01:11:30.000
I mean, everyone's lighting him up, because they were like, is this...
01:11:33.000
Some people get so excited sometimes, and I don't...
01:11:37.000
The dude was a nice dude who was just like, bro...
01:11:46.000
There's those guys that it's too much salt air and too much sun, and they're cooked.
01:11:53.000
You know how if you're going to smoke a piece of fish, if you put your hand in there, it doesn't even seem like you would do anything.
01:12:03.000
After like four or five hours, you become a smoked piece of fish, right?
01:12:09.000
A certain amount of those guys' brains that are always by the beach, they don't drink enough water, they just get old and leathery.
01:12:19.000
When you see them on the outside, they look leathery.
01:12:47.000
Don't ask Mexicans to beat up white people right now.
01:12:50.000
I'm imploring all Mexicans to beat up Mexicans.
01:12:53.000
All this wall talk, they'll throw in a few extra shots.
01:13:14.000
But my favorite food, when I know I probably shouldn't be eating it, but I want to eat it anyway...
01:13:21.000
It's like a lengua quesadilla from a real Mexican joint.
01:13:29.000
You go there, they have Mexican soap operas on TV. Those girls with the big tits and the red dresses.
01:13:39.000
They're like a bunch of dudes who are getting off work.
01:13:52.000
You get lengua quesadilla, bro, with the spicy sauce.
01:14:12.000
Yeah, if you're going to kill me, you want me to have a good time eating lobster first?
01:14:19.000
I'm just thinking of trying to take one guy out when he tries to get me from the jail.
01:14:35.000
If they're trying to kill you, you're trying to figure out a way to kill them?
01:14:44.000
Don't you think you would be thinking that way?
01:14:46.000
Unless you did something horrific and you want to die and you know you're terrible.
01:14:53.000
If I'm wrongfully accused and I'm on death row, I'm trying to kill somebody.
01:15:04.000
They keep things from you that you could kill yourself with, which is horrific.
01:15:09.000
Because the problem is you could kill somebody else with it, right?
01:15:12.000
They left some wire with fucking handles on it.
01:15:22.000
Yeah, but I do think, though, if death row's coming up on you, you're thinking a lot differently.
01:15:34.000
But the way to avoid those horrific thoughts is to plan a murder.
01:15:42.000
Just think, like, how fast can I get to one of these guys before they can pile up on me?
01:15:48.000
Think about what it would take, though, to get to that place when you're like...
01:15:54.000
I'm going to have to fucking just kill everyone I see.
01:15:57.000
That's always the appeal of a show like The Punisher.
01:16:01.000
They always did a shit job with that fucking comic book.
01:16:05.000
I mean, I heard The Punisher on Netflix was good.
01:16:09.000
But the movies, they had a Dolph Lundgren movie.
01:16:14.000
Because, by the way, this is before HD. They faked his weird?
01:16:26.000
Like they took a wet sponge and dipped it in some dirt and rubbed it on his face and they pretended that it was a 5 o'clock shadow.
01:16:32.000
I mean, whoever the fucking makeup artist was, they should have got the fucking Academy Award for parody.
01:16:40.000
It's almost like they know this movie's a piece of shit, and they are going to make the makeup so bad and so dumb looking.
01:16:48.000
They're going to make the makeup looking so dumb that nobody believes it's real.
01:16:57.000
Well, that's why, because it's not in HD, you know?
01:17:06.000
If you watch the actual movie, did you Google Dolph Lundgren fake stubble?
01:17:11.000
I just did Punisher just so we could see pictures from it.
01:17:15.000
Okay, just write Dolph Lundgren Punisher fake stubble.
01:17:50.000
He just dusted his face with some dirt, it looks like.
01:17:54.000
You know what that's like when a kid in junior high is trying to get facial hair for the first time?
01:18:02.000
I've been thinking of rocking a police mustache.
01:18:10.000
How about one like Mike Beltran when I roll up the fucking, the hairs grow long?
01:18:24.000
His mustache comes down like this, like Cinderella's hair.
01:18:28.000
Yeah, he's got like a, yeah, handlebars, handlebars.
01:18:32.000
Big old jacked dude, too, with crazy ass mustache.
01:18:43.000
How long does it take to grow a mustache like that?
01:18:45.000
Forever, but braiding it kind of, I mean, dude, come on.
01:18:48.000
Would you get an extension added to it so you could skip some time?
01:19:09.000
But at a certain point in time, I would imagine you become a prisoner to that look.
01:19:15.000
Like, I've had a beard for as long as I can remember, and so now if I shave it, I'm fucked.
01:19:23.000
It's kind of strange that I can never get away from it now.
01:19:26.000
I didn't think about it until you brought it up.
01:19:30.000
I remember playing in a band with this guy, and I'm pretty sure part of this is fake.
01:19:39.000
We opened up for this as a singer for Mudvayne.
01:19:41.000
Part of it is not real, but part of it is real.
01:19:43.000
He does have a really long one, but I remember seeing it up close, and it was like a rope or something.
01:19:48.000
God damn, it's crazy how long you can grow a fucking beard.
01:19:56.000
Why does hair on the face grow to those lengths?
01:20:03.000
Because, like, arm hair doesn't grow that long.
01:20:06.000
Right, but why does beard hair grow long and arm hair stops?
01:20:14.000
Well, that's like, you know the crown of the head hair?
01:20:25.000
Anybody that says completely bald is still here, we'll have hair.
01:20:29.000
You have to have hair right here, though, forever.
01:20:31.000
That is weird, but what I don't understand is why can the hair on your head grow so long and the hair on your beard grow so long, but your arm hair and leg hair is always the same length.
01:21:12.000
I was thinking it's like the thick shield around a wild boar's face.
01:21:25.000
Imagine if he went down on a girl and her pussy hair was like a wig.
01:21:42.000
There's this dumb picture that used to describe this.
01:21:45.000
It says that it helps prevent friction, both being coarser and thicker and curly and all that.
01:22:00.000
It's like rubbing Velcro against each other, I suppose.
01:22:05.000
If you were on meth and Viagra and you were in the desert, do you think you'd start a fire?
01:22:37.000
We had to do this one, we had to do a bow one, and then we had to do...
01:22:41.000
The wiggle one with your fingers is ridiculous.
01:22:48.000
But this shit, this bullshit, is so fucking hard.
01:23:00.000
I think when I did it, I don't know when I did it, but I'm pretty sure I was like pre-teens.
01:23:07.000
I think I was Boy Scouts when I was doing that.
01:23:16.000
I didn't make it to WeBlow or whatever that level.
01:23:22.000
Dude, I got fucking kidnapped almost by these criminals.
01:23:38.000
Jamaica Plain in Boston is more gentrified now.
01:23:44.000
And there was white people there when I lived there, too.
01:23:48.000
Angry Irish people who will punch you in the face.
01:23:50.000
I wasn't used to being around people like that.
01:23:53.000
I lived in San Francisco and then I lived in Florida.
01:23:56.000
And then all of a sudden I lived with these, like, really wild people, man.
01:24:04.000
What were we just talking about that led me to this?
01:24:11.000
About why you're talking about the angry Boston people?
01:24:32.000
So I went to camp with these fucking kids that lived in this really tough neighborhood.
01:24:36.000
And there was a lot of Puerto Rican kids, and a lot of Italian kids, and there was Irish kids.
01:24:41.000
It was all ethnicities, but it was basically like low-income people.
01:24:45.000
And it was the first time I was ever around kids that were legitimately dangerous.
01:24:49.000
When I lived in Florida, we were around like...
01:24:58.000
But it didn't seem dangerous in terms of the kids that I was interacting with.
01:25:02.000
Then all of a sudden I was in Jamaica playing and they were dangerous kids.
01:25:20.000
He goes, you probably don't even know that a dick goes up in a pussy.
01:25:29.000
I was trying to figure out how that would work.
01:25:31.000
I was like, I guess I wasn't 11. I was 13. 13 was when I lived in Boston.
01:25:43.000
You could have just said, did you know that it goes up?
01:25:45.000
Every other kid that I had ever encountered probably would have said, hey, did you know that when you have sex, it doesn't go straight in.
01:25:53.000
Because when you think about having sex, you would think your penis would go straight forward.
01:26:05.000
You'd have to hold them down to get them into the proper position.
01:26:10.000
Anyway, I went to fucking Boy Scout camp with these criminals.
01:26:20.000
He was a little annoying, but either way, they tied this kid up on his bed.
01:26:24.000
He had a little cot, and they dragged him into the woods.
01:26:35.000
So, I mean, you couldn't see your fucking hand in front of your face.
01:26:40.000
And I was 13. So, in all my life as a person, I had never been in a place where I couldn't see my hand.
01:26:50.000
Because we were like, this Boy Scout camp was by a lake way the fuck up in New Hampshire.
01:26:55.000
So they take this fucking guy and they bring him out into the forest and they leave him there.
01:27:10.000
When I heard that kid mumble and shit and I saw them carrying away, I was like, these guys are strapping this guy down to a cot.
01:27:20.000
But I remember the other kid, they put toothpaste all over his clothes.
01:27:23.000
Apparently when you put toothpaste, like toothpaste does not wash out good.
01:27:34.000
Say 80, 79, 80. 81, I was 14. Yeah, so it's that age.
01:27:50.000
Because me and this other kid, who was also this kid, we called him Onion.
01:28:05.000
No one cared if you were engaging in all their activities.
01:28:10.000
Literally, I'm telling you, no one was watching us.
01:28:12.000
I was 13. We just grabbed fishing rods and we went where the lake was.
01:28:18.000
All these kids would get together and they're all doing archery and rifle practice.
01:28:22.000
You're hanging out there with a bobber in the water and you hear them You hear ricochets!
01:28:51.000
It's not as threatening as the actual action of getting hit by a bullet.
01:29:02.000
But it just seemed, you know, like you can't be around these kids.
01:29:23.000
You know, I went to Catholic school when I was a kid, kid, and then never again, and I never got molested.
01:29:28.000
I always think that maybe I wasn't cute enough or something like that.
01:29:34.000
Looking something up online, where I'm from in Columbus, some list just got released of a bunch of priests that have been either accused and found out that whatever happened, some are still alive, some aren't.
01:29:46.000
I looked through the list and found someone that was a priest at my school.
01:29:50.000
Nobody I know said they've been touched or anything like that, but it blew all of our minds.
01:30:02.000
It's one of the weirdest things that you can just connect a thing that's a horrific act to a church.
01:30:19.000
How crazy is it that the peanut butter to your jelly is fucking kids.
01:30:30.000
If you see a jar of jelly, you think, oh, if I had some peanut butter and some bread, I'd make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
01:30:43.000
Just trying to teach the word of the Lord, man.
01:30:51.000
As long as you let those people keep doing what they're doing, it will not.
01:30:57.000
You know, the fucking Pope himself at one point?
01:31:01.000
At one point in his life, he was involved in moving people around?
01:31:07.000
Dude, they said he was wanted for crimes against humanity.
01:31:13.000
There's a documentary that shows that he let these people go, let this one guy go, rather, and moved him to another parish where he molested 100 deaf kids.
01:31:29.000
It's pure evil, and what's most fucked up about it, it's evil that's coming to people that are looking for God.
01:31:38.000
That's why people get mad when you talk shit about the Catholic Church, because there's a lot of great people that are, Yeah, not everyone is a shithead.
01:31:45.000
No, the people that are actually going to the church are the good people.
01:31:58.000
Did you ever see the documentary Hear New Evil?
01:32:26.000
It's a terrible documentary in terms of the way it makes you feel.
01:32:29.000
It's a very good documentary, but it makes you feel terrible.
01:32:51.000
They had to go all the way back to the Korean War to find out Teflon not in someone's blood.
01:33:02.000
Did you ever Google the Devil We Know debunked?
01:33:12.000
It'll give you some insights heavy to what's really going on.
01:33:15.000
But even though I'm not doubting them, every time I look at anything like this now, I write debunked and I put it into Google.
01:33:27.000
And I don't necessarily automatically agree with them, but are there any credible sources that have any indications?
01:33:32.000
You're trying to find if there's a balance to it.
01:33:34.000
I've just said too many things that are not true.
01:33:44.000
LA Times says, should we be scared of Teflon on this Sunday?
01:33:59.000
Well, the water source wasn't supposed to be polluted.
01:34:10.000
Dude, he was like, he kept complaining, but they pushed him down, like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.
01:34:15.000
Until he went away, and then this documentary explores how other people have tried to tell his story, but no one gave a shit.
01:34:23.000
Before I forget this, hold that thought real quick.
01:34:26.000
Can you please Google, because I keep forgetting this, can you please Google that...
01:34:34.000
Water bottles in Target and other stores were found with arsenic.
01:34:46.000
Jamie, you're so good at one-hand typing, it's fucking absurd.
01:35:06.000
Bottled water brand found to have high levels of arsenic pulled from stores.
01:35:23.000
The brand said, Penafine, Penafil, unflavored mineral spring waters are involved in the market withdrawal.
01:35:31.000
They're voluntarily pulling the product, which is sold at Target and Mama.
01:35:34.000
So, maybe, like, their manufacturer had some fucking weird shit in their water.
01:35:44.000
Right, but they don't say, what's the level of arsenic in it?
01:35:52.000
They're allowed to have 10 parts per billion in there and it must have exceeded it.
01:36:05.000
I mean, how much are you willing to snort if you tell me that it's not...
01:36:09.000
If you tell me arsenic's not bad for you, how much will you snort?
01:36:14.000
I'll cut it up with B12. I snorted out my dick.
01:36:21.000
That's fucking insane, by the way, that they were selling shit that has arsenic.
01:36:31.000
You can get weird shit in water if you leave it in a hot car.
01:36:38.000
You buy a bottle of water, you don't know what the fuck happened to that bottle before you.
01:36:43.000
Somebody could have been kicking that thing, leaving it out in the sun.
01:36:45.000
By the time you get it, man, who the fuck knows what's in there in terms of diseases?
01:36:51.000
You can legitimately have water bottles that leak PCBs.
01:36:55.000
They leak some sort of estrogen mimicking chemical.
01:37:00.000
Did you see this shit with Justin Trudeau in the water bottle?
01:37:09.000
Justin Trudeau was asked about how he and his family are doing a better job at not using plastics, and his response is so fucking awful.
01:37:28.000
You and your family do to cut back on plastics.
01:37:32.000
We have recently switched to drinking water bottles out of, when we have water bottles, out of plastic, sorry, away from plastic towards paper.
01:37:56.000
Do you imagine if somebody asked me a question like that about my job?
01:38:04.000
Imagine if somebody said, hey, Joe, what do you think could be done to stop head trauma in MMA? And I'd be like, well, we could...
01:38:14.000
Conceivably, there's not much, but we could pad the elbows, we could pad the knees, we could...
01:38:24.000
And he was also thinking about getting caught in a lie.
01:38:29.000
He called his wife on the limo on the way home.
01:38:45.000
You stick them in a sea monkey cage and feed them to turtles.
01:38:55.000
He collects those little things that six packs come with and he just chucks them in the ocean for a laugh.
01:39:02.000
He goes to a lake and just puts a bunch of fucking duck killers out there.
01:39:08.000
If you find a legit male feminist, let me talk to him, because I've never met one.
01:39:14.000
Every one of them I've ever met is a dude who's running a scam, right?
01:39:32.000
I'll stand by every woman forever and know that.
01:39:40.000
His words sound like a normal person's words, but you just have to have a deep vocabulary of crazy.
01:39:48.000
Those combination of words in that circumstance only exist from the mind of a crazy man.
01:40:04.000
That's why this whole incel thing, you know about incels?
01:40:16.000
I went through a six-month dry spell when I was 19. And the first time I had sex with a girl after that, I came immediately.
01:40:31.000
I had very little interaction with regular people.
01:40:36.000
All I was doing was doing martial arts and training.
01:40:41.000
And when I got together with the girls, I panicked.
01:40:50.000
I went through a really fucked up time when I was a young teenager where I thought that my desire for sex was a weakness.
01:41:07.000
I put it in my head because I was trying to figure out how to get better at martial arts.
01:41:21.000
No, it wasn't because it was recognizing that real pleasure, the only pleasure that I had gotten up to that point, was satisfaction in being good at competition.
01:41:32.000
So when I started being good at competition, I realized, okay, this is better than anything, so how do I get successful again?
01:41:39.000
Well, one thing you can't do is get wrapped up in anything stupid, and you have to stay mentally strong.
01:41:50.000
That's a lot of good foresight because most kids at that age that are testosterone levels through the fucking roof are like, I want to get good at this thing, but also, oh my god, I want to fuck everything that walks.
01:41:58.000
It was also, it had to be flavored by the puritanical shit that I grew up with.
01:42:04.000
I was just going to say, there has to be some dark to that.
01:42:06.000
But not, I don't think so, man, because before that I was really into it.
01:42:12.000
Once I started fighting, it was also so dangerous that I was always worried about doing something wrong and getting hit.
01:42:21.000
And then maybe if I'd lived my life correctly, I wouldn't have gotten hit.
01:42:24.000
Because I saw a lot of guys get kicked in the face, man.
01:42:27.000
How many times have you been kicked in the head?
01:42:51.000
Sometimes you get hit in the body like a liver shot.
01:42:56.000
It doesn't matter if you're in the middle of a fight.
01:43:06.000
I don't think I'd ever had it happen that way before.
01:43:16.000
But I never had it where my shit just shut off.
01:43:22.000
And then I was trying to get up and I was on this fucking boingy.
01:43:27.000
And then he hit me a couple more times and I fell again.
01:43:41.000
How many concussions do you have, do you think, on record?
01:44:03.000
We were running past this thing and something happened.
01:44:05.000
I don't remember exactly what happened, but it involved falling and something slipping and something hitting me in the head.
01:44:14.000
I didn't go unconscious, but the whole world went like this.
01:44:18.000
I remember saying to the doctor that I grayed out.
01:44:26.000
So it was that time and then the time that I got TKO'd.
01:44:29.000
But then the other times in between, it was mostly just getting dinged.
01:44:32.000
When you just popped and your legs give out a little bit, then you cover up.
01:44:35.000
And then, you know, usually, like, it's in sparring, you'll stop.
01:44:39.000
And if it's in a fight, you get a, you know, either you fall down or you get a standing eight count, you know.
01:45:08.000
It gets encouraged, especially amongst really good guys.
01:45:11.000
I had my fucking knees taken out from under me.
01:45:14.000
Oh, you told me about that in basketball, right?
01:45:25.000
One, people telling me to sit down because your natural reaction sometimes when you get knocked out like that to bounce off your head is to get back up, you know?
01:45:35.000
And then I remember that, and then I remember the paramedics.
01:45:49.000
And then in fucking junior high, I got popped so hard.
01:46:01.000
And he was saying he wouldn't have his kids play football.
01:46:06.000
He has a hilarious, crazy story of his life, but about getting the one time he got KO'd in a game, waking up and going to the wrong side.
01:46:16.000
And they say, hey, motherfucker, you're on the wrong side.
01:46:18.000
And then he goes over there and then he hears a gunshot and sees people running.
01:46:28.000
He has a hilarious story, but it's also kind of dark, man.
01:46:32.000
He's talking about how crazy he was in his childhood, too.
01:46:36.000
Did you see that documentary about him where he could shoot bow and arrow with his foot?
01:46:44.000
This motherfucker is an athlete to a degree that's creepy.
01:47:03.000
It says he could shoot a bullseye from 100 yards away with his feet.
01:47:14.000
Skip to the 69-minute mark of his 30 for 30. Yeah, it was a 30 for 30. What was I talking about him, though?
01:47:26.000
About how he wouldn't have his kids play football.
01:47:43.000
Well, it's the same thing they found in hockey.
01:47:50.000
Well, soccer players have problems with CTE. They get smoked.
01:48:00.000
The goalie that just won, like, Player of the Year, Robin Lerner is his name, I guess, he gave a really good speech about his mental health issues he's been dealing with.
01:48:09.000
And while he accepted his award for goalie, I can't find that.
01:48:15.000
He's talking about his openness to the whole crowd.
01:48:24.000
You know, head trauma, if you can avoid it in life...
01:48:28.000
It can possibly happen to you, no matter what you do.
01:48:33.000
But if you can find a way to avoid it, you probably should.
01:48:38.000
So you've got to decide whether or not you want to take that risk.
01:48:43.000
I'm not ashamed to say I'm mentally ill, but that doesn't mean mentally weak.
01:48:55.000
Go to a mental doctor and fix your mental illness.
01:49:08.000
Imagine if you were like a slightly overweight person who might be...
01:49:25.000
If I was an overweight person who was sensitive?
01:49:28.000
Would you just choose that moment to be a victim?
01:49:35.000
Because you don't respect people like me struggle.
01:50:02.000
Right, okay, there's a lot of people out there that have mental illness, and it's legit.
01:50:14.000
But look, there's some people that are just full of shit.
01:50:21.000
All the grifters of the world, some aren't going to claim depressed.
01:50:30.000
When a guy is called a bitch, it means he's too weak.
01:50:32.000
When a woman is called a bitch, it means she's too aggressive.
01:50:35.000
Do any of us have any idea what this word even means?
01:50:43.000
I'm glad she put it on Twitter so no one could steal it.
01:50:54.000
Like, pussy can be great, but it can also be weak.
01:50:58.000
I mean, a bowling ball comes out of that thing.
01:51:04.000
Imagine a ten-pound baby coming out of your dick, and they respect that thing.
01:51:11.000
Dicks would have more props if they could give birth.
01:51:24.000
If a guy calls you a pussy, what's the first thought?
01:51:31.000
So when a guy calls another guy a pussy, it's a cheap insult.
01:51:38.000
Well, sometimes you're ready to fight, and you just want to provoke this guy.
01:51:43.000
So what, you're calling a guy a great sexual object?
01:51:48.000
You fucking pussy, just letting him know we're about to get down.
01:51:52.000
If you watch guys fight, Half of it is talking shit to each other before you get down.
01:52:04.000
Well, you're trying to measure up your confidence level versus theirs.
01:52:09.000
If you can get someone nervous, though, if you can legitimately get someone nervous, you can decrease their performance by a significant margin.
01:52:23.000
Because if you're trying to scare someone, they take a swing at you.
01:52:30.000
So they would get scared, and they'd fight worse because they'd get scared.
01:52:40.000
The most scary thing he ever said, the scariest thing he ever said was, how dare they threaten me?
01:52:46.000
How dare these mere mortals come to me with their primitive skills.
01:52:56.000
Because the moments when he would fight would not just be...
01:52:59.000
I don't want to say he's like the best boxer of all time.
01:53:03.000
It's either Floyd Mayweather or Roy Jones Jr. in his prime.
01:53:14.000
A lot of boxing guys say Sugar Ray Robinson because he had so many fights.
01:53:21.000
And he fought the hardest of men in a hard, hard time.
01:53:39.000
But this is the argument of every sport ever, right?
01:53:53.000
He threw a double left hook like it was nobody's business.
01:53:55.000
But Floyd Mayweather had a way of making guys look like they didn't belong there with him.
01:54:02.000
The way he did it to Canelo, the way he did it to Pacquiao, the way he did it to McGregor.
01:54:10.000
Yeah, I went to that fight because of Showtime.
01:54:12.000
And I've got to tell you, Floyd Mayweather looked like he was fighting a guy who's...
01:54:20.000
Even though he's fought a ton, the balance was way different.
01:54:31.000
When people used to watch like Jordan, you'd be like, that looks fake.
01:54:35.000
He was just so brilliant and smooth and easy and simple.
01:54:39.000
It's a beautiful magic trick to make you think it's easy.
01:54:43.000
Sugar Ray Robinson was a motherfucker, don't get me wrong.
01:54:45.000
I just don't think he ever faced anybody like Floyd.
01:54:53.000
Unless a guy like Sugar Ray Robinson existed first.
01:55:07.000
And that way, a guy like Floyd Mayweather, who was at the Tip.
01:55:17.000
But they stood in front of each other back then.
01:55:21.000
They're standing in front of him, and he's merking them, man.
01:55:25.000
I think he was ahead of his time in a lot of ways.
01:55:28.000
But he lost to Jake LaMotta, and here's my position, although it may be a controversial one.
01:55:33.000
I cannot envision a world where Jake LaMotta outboxes Floyd Mayweather.
01:55:45.000
So it's like the same way we can't do it with comedians.
01:55:47.000
If anybody ever asks me, I always say that Lenny Bruce is probably the greatest of all time because he was the first.
01:55:55.000
He was the guy who did the weird shit that we do, where we say ridiculous, like we've done on this podcast.
01:56:00.000
We say ridiculous shit, and you make it funny, and sometimes, at least, sometimes, it has a point to it, and it makes you reconsider.
01:56:10.000
But we hear you're watching Ray Robinson and Jake LaMotta.
01:56:14.000
If Jake LaMotta stood like that in front of Floyd Mayweather, Floyd Mayweather would still be hitting him.
01:56:22.000
I think Ray Robinson was the best of his era, for sure.
01:56:31.000
But I mean, a lot of boxing guys are like, you don't know shit about boxing.
01:56:34.000
I don't, in comparison to what I know about MMA. I know he was amazing.
01:56:38.000
I know he was like the Gene Fulmer knockout, the Jake LaMotta rematch when he had him tied up against the ropes and he was just beating his fucking brains out.
01:56:49.000
He was beating Billy Kahn, but he got from heat exhaustion, I think.
01:56:59.000
I just don't think you can compare Hoist Gracie to Robert Whittaker.
01:57:07.000
Robert Whitaker is the current middleweight champion to Hoyce Grace who won the UFC in UFC 1. He won in UFC 1 because Robert Whitaker of 2019 wasn't there.
01:57:26.000
I mean, technology alone has improved so much in the way we train how to fight or train how to play sports.
01:57:37.000
Dude, Roy Jones Jr., when he was in his prime, did things that even Robinson didn't do.
01:57:45.000
And guys would move in on him and he'd KO with one punch.
01:57:49.000
He would hit guys, and it would look like it was an impossible matchup.
01:57:55.000
Like, Vinny Pacienza fought Sugar Ray, or excuse me, fought Roy Jones Jr., and Roy Jones Jr. went a full round without getting hit by a punch.
01:58:06.000
At a world championship level against a guy who, in Vinny Pazienza, was a multiple-time world champion.
01:58:28.000
That's James Toney, by the way, that he did that to.
01:58:30.000
Dude, Roy Jones Jr. was on another planet, son.
01:58:33.000
He called for the stoppage when he started fucking up Vinny Pazienza.
01:58:37.000
Dude, I'm telling you, this was like one of the beatings of all beating.
01:58:42.000
You see a guy who's, at this time, probably the best ever.
01:58:47.000
Look at that combination when the referee rescues him.
01:58:50.000
When Roy Jones-June was at his prime, everybody was like, yeah, but the guys he fought, they weren't that good.
01:58:58.000
He was on such another level that he made world-class fighters look like they weren't that good.
01:59:11.000
By the way, Bernard Hopkins, who didn't have the same sort of dynamic explosive style, Bernard Hopkins was a much more solid fundamental guy.
01:59:22.000
And Bernard Hopkins wound up beating Roy as Roy was on the way downhill.
01:59:29.000
Just tonting the shit out of this motherfucker.
01:59:32.000
We play basketball games, like full games, in a fight later that day.
01:59:42.000
Because there was a couple years where Roy Jones Jr. was just a show.
02:00:04.000
He went all the way up to heavyweight to fight John Ruiz.
02:00:13.000
But his next fight, he had to fight Antonio Tarver.
02:00:16.000
And Tarver's a legit, world-class light heavyweight.
02:00:24.000
It didn't look the same dropping all that weight coming back from heavyweight to fight Tarver, and Tarver knocked him out.
02:00:30.000
What's the weight difference that he went down to?
02:00:40.000
There's not a lot of ways where a man in his 30s gains 25 pounds.
02:00:58.000
That's what he said to him before he knocked him out.
02:01:02.000
But if you look at Roy in this fight, he just does not look as good.
02:01:12.000
See, Roy, when you're losing that much weight to get down from 200 pounds, you're fucking depleted, man.
02:01:19.000
For him to take that fight, if he's going to do it smart, he should have been fucking marathon running for like a year or something.
02:01:35.000
And Tarver was a world-class motherfucker back then.
02:01:40.000
Tarver might have knocked him out even if they did fight without any problem.
02:01:57.000
He took some time off because he got caught with...
02:02:15.000
But he was willing to come out of retirement for Michael B. Jordan...
02:02:19.000
Who was saying that he could box with him because of the movie Creed.
02:02:29.000
He was like, I'm going to fuck this dude up and make a lot of money.
02:02:34.000
But he was apparently, he was legitimately trying to set it up.
02:02:36.000
We made a video where I was telling Michael B. Jordan, please, I don't care who's talking to you, listen to me.
02:02:46.000
You have no idea how bad that guy's gonna light you on fire.
02:02:52.000
It was a joke, but Justin Bieber said he wanted to fight Tom Cruise.
02:02:59.000
I don't know why he was joking, but the internet ran with it.
02:03:05.000
That's why he did it, because he knows people would pay money.
02:03:12.000
Tom Cruise was like a high school wrestling state champion or something like that.
02:03:23.000
He's 85 years old and he just broke his ankle doing a movie.
02:03:30.000
I don't know how that would like, it wouldn't be super interesting.
02:03:39.000
When he was 16, I don't know, 17. Listen, man, that ain't a way to do it.
02:03:44.000
But if you're gonna do it, he's handled it as good as any.
02:03:50.000
If anybody says they would handle that differently, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
02:03:56.000
I think what would help him, like legitimately help him, is a real struggle, like jiu-jitsu.
02:04:04.000
I think he's fighting because he's training now.
02:04:06.000
I think he offered up a fight because he's learning how to train.
02:04:21.000
But I'm saying, he used to be thin and now he's like, fuck that, I'm gonna jack out.
02:04:37.000
We were barbecued already and then we're like, when we get in the car, then we're gonna really smoke.
02:04:44.000
Dude, he does a show about putting weed and food on Vice.
02:04:48.000
And those motherfuckers eat endless amounts of fucking weed on camera.
02:04:53.000
They smoke joints waiting to eat the weed food.
02:04:59.000
I tapped out like two minutes into the car ride.
02:05:05.000
But two minutes into sitting in the parked car smoking weed.
02:05:10.000
If you want me to speak English, I'm gonna have to fucking chill.
02:05:17.000
But those are guys that could smoke blunts to themselves.
02:05:33.000
Action Bronson does that show where he gets high and watches Ancient Aliens.
02:05:37.000
I was trying to do it last season, but every time they were doing it, I was busy doing something else and I couldn't do it.
02:05:50.000
But that's good TV. That's better than half of the other bullshit that's out there.
02:05:57.000
Look, I mean, think about, if you can have some dude showing up at garage sales trying to get the best deal, you can't have Action Broadcasting on a green screen with his homies getting blasted.
02:06:21.000
Look at DJ Alchemist is sleeping on the far right.
02:06:35.000
He's smoking a fat one, but not like that motherfucker.
02:06:38.000
Unless the Tommy Chong joint dropped down to that size.
02:06:46.000
I used to listen to his albums when I was a kid, man.
02:06:49.000
For me to just even be on a podcast with him was surreal.
02:06:59.000
Doesn't that make you feel the type of way where you're like, I'm a hero of this dude, and he's like, dude, I love your shit.
02:07:05.000
I'm happy that Tommy Chong loves me because I love him.
02:07:20.000
When I was watching their movies when I was a kid, Up and Smoke, what year was that?
02:07:28.000
And find that out and then find out what year Big Bamboo came out.
02:07:32.000
Because Big Bamboo was the album that looked like rolling papers.
02:07:35.000
And they had a piece of paper in there, didn't they?
02:07:44.000
And then in that album, they would later put an actual piece of rolling paper in there.
02:07:50.000
Well, the record sleeve was a usable rolling paper.
02:08:00.000
You've got to think back then, marijuana was a full-on Schedule 1 drug.
02:08:05.000
Schedule 1. Schedule 1. Actually, that was 72, was Big Bamboo.
02:08:19.000
So I was born in 67. This was 72. So that's the rolling paper.
02:08:32.000
Before they were together in that improv group he was in when they were really young, like right before that.
02:08:46.000
Santino and Rogan in 2084. We're going to be taking our vitamins.
02:08:54.000
That's powerful to have that long-term effect of being talented and producing good shit.
02:09:01.000
Those motherfuckers have been funny and cool for years and years and years.
02:09:12.000
Who would be from that era that's still doing what they do in the comedy world?
02:09:16.000
Well, it would have been Bill Cosby if he didn't have a few...
02:09:22.000
Did you see that someone was tweeting from Bill Cosby's account about Father's Day?
02:09:28.000
Somebody said on the internet, his wife goes, real men take care of their families.
02:09:36.000
Imagine just looking at your computer going, yep, this is a good one.
02:09:48.000
I mean, how many rapes do you have to have where people forget?
02:09:52.000
How many rapes does it take to get the center of a jail cell?
02:09:58.000
It's so strange that when I was a kid, he was the cleanest, friendliest family guy.
02:10:16.000
And that's the same thing with the talk about the male feminists.
02:10:19.000
There's guys that want women to do great because they're just kind.
02:10:27.000
It must be similar to those clean-cut guys that are just really pushing you to not use such language.
02:10:42.000
What do you give a fuck about people using certain words?
02:10:51.000
What's going on behind your fucking screens, bro?
02:10:55.000
When you deprive people of things, good God, do they want it more.
02:11:00.000
And when they show signs of depravity, that means that's something deep inside of them.
02:11:04.000
Do you think that everyone who's like squeaky clean is a pervert?
02:11:11.000
When you preach perfection, what does that really mean?
02:11:18.000
Why are you telling me how to fucking stop doing heroin?
02:11:43.000
And the mother's like, well, why did you wait a month?
02:12:00.000
There's a lot of people telling you That's wild.
02:12:05.000
Meanwhile, that guy just got done screaming at his ex-girlfriend.
02:12:21.000
Dude, those who throw stones always live in a glass house.
02:12:26.000
That's the first person to throw something is the first person that's like, what's really going on with you?
02:12:38.000
Our boy Tim Dillon tweeted about it and people went after him.
02:12:43.000
He tweeted, best moment of my year or something like that.
02:12:51.000
Someone said that, you know, hey, fuck you, Joe Rogan.
02:13:01.000
I understand that people are upset about what he did, but he did not sexually assault women.
02:13:07.000
And to say that, the one group of people that it really fucks is people who have been actually sexually assaulted.
02:13:22.000
But when a guy says, can I jerk off in front of you?
02:13:28.000
There's a big difference between that and sexual assault.
02:13:33.000
I don't know how many people really know the story.
02:13:35.000
And again, I'm not saying that what he did was good.
02:13:42.000
It's not like he made people do it if they didn't say yes.
02:13:48.000
I saw an article in one of these papers that was saying that he's changing his story.
02:13:58.000
I don't think he wanted to defend every single aspect of it, but as far as I know, he didn't – no one said no and then he did it anyway.
02:14:07.000
And Sarah Silverman talked about how he would ask her and she would say yes and he would do it.
02:14:20.000
And I don't think he's as bad as people want to believe he is.
02:14:28.000
And again, I don't think he's happy about it at all.
02:14:40.000
When is he allowed to perform for people who forgive him?
02:14:49.000
It comes to a point where it's not like you're endorsing terrible behavior, but you are saying at a certain point in time, you've got to give someone a way out.
02:14:55.000
Because if you don't, then they start to recognize what you are.
02:15:00.000
And you're kind of saying you don't believe in forgiveness, you don't believe in improvement, you don't believe in anybody ever getting past a bad deed that they did.
02:15:08.000
And I think as a human who's a kind – you try to be a kind person, try to be a fair person.
02:15:15.000
You know, you gotta let people grow and move past mistakes.
02:15:20.000
I don't know when it is, I don't know what someone has to say in order to get you to forgive it, but the fact that people dwell on it, unless you and him have a personal thing, and you want to talk to him about it, and I don't know if he has, I don't know if he's done any of that stuff.
02:15:35.000
But I think as a culture, we are way too quick not just to condemn but to attack and to continue to attack relentlessly and to never want someone to get up.
02:15:47.000
And that's not a sign of a compassionate person.
02:15:51.000
And maybe it's partly to blame for people who don't express themselves and don't give you a full version of who they are and you let people contemplate who you are.
02:16:01.000
And I think anyone in the public eye has been guilty of that to some extent.
02:16:06.000
And I think that people immediately start taking sides, and they start going girl versus boy, male versus female.
02:16:15.000
And I think there's real danger in us splitting up like that, too.
02:16:20.000
We can't get to this place where women feel like they can't trust men, and men feel like they can't trust women just universally, and then you find rare exceptions.
02:16:32.000
Like, I read some lady wrote, it was kind of sad, she wrote like, any straight white male is trash unless proven otherwise.
02:16:51.000
But you're broadcasting it to your 16,000 followers.
02:17:12.000
So a guy like Louis C.K. comes back and they're connecting him with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby.
02:17:24.000
I don't want anybody jerking off in front of them when they really don't want it.
02:17:36.000
I just think that, like, we have classes of crimes.
02:17:42.000
I heard someone, I was seeing someone saying what he did was definitely a crime.
02:17:48.000
You might be upset that he did it, but it's not a crime.
02:17:53.000
The real problem, the real issue is that he was in a position where these girls were admiring him.
02:18:00.000
I don't think he's explained it to some people's, what they desire.
02:18:10.000
I really just think what a lot of us are missing is just a lack of communication and compassion and understanding.
02:18:19.000
And we're real, you know, we've got to think of people, like, anytime someone's, I mean, I'm not talking about people that are serial killers.
02:18:24.000
I'm just talking about people who make mistakes.
02:18:34.000
Because I just think that it's not helping anybody.
02:18:36.000
And it's getting people's jollies off because they watch someone crash down.
02:18:40.000
Yeah, people love to watch someone fucking burn.
02:18:42.000
And I was also thinking that also when this kind of stuff happens, people don't want to ever reconsider their opinion on a person.
02:18:52.000
And they made the text available of this guy who Kevin Spacey was touching his dick going back and forth with his girlfriend.
02:19:02.000
And they're trying to make it seem like this is evidence that he was scared and that Kevin Spacey was sexually abusing him.
02:19:12.000
This guy was texting his girlfriend while Kevin Spacey...
02:19:18.000
He must be gay because I'm fucking him in his mouth now.
02:19:20.000
Bro, they released all the text messages, but they didn't release some of them.
02:19:25.000
And the mother said that she deleted a lot of them that related to his frat boy-like behavior.
02:19:33.000
Probably jokes about getting his dick sucked by Kevin Spacey and how hilarious that was.
02:19:40.000
I think, I mean, obviously I'm not a lawyer, but I think they're trying to make some money.
02:19:48.000
I don't think this 18-year-old kid's worried about this 800-year-old man touching his dick.
02:19:55.000
When you're 18, you'll punch the fuck out of some 65-year-old pervert.
02:20:05.000
But if I was 18, some guy kept grabbing my dick, I'd put him to sleep.
02:20:11.000
That's the first thing you do at 18. You're like, I'm gonna fight you, dude.
02:20:20.000
He's got my number and asked me to come out with him.
02:20:25.000
And then sends two other messages saying, what?
02:20:28.000
And then it says, sounds like he's hitting on you.
02:20:45.000
The accuser continued texting, saying that he was being touched inappropriately, like eight times later, adding.
02:20:56.000
When a dude is touching your dick, you gotta tell him to stop.
02:21:02.000
Not once does he say the guy's trying to tell him to stop.
02:21:13.000
Have fun, but not too much fun, if you know what I mean.
02:21:33.000
The accuser writes that he got autographs and a hell of a story.
02:21:43.000
Maybe he's just a kid having a good time and doesn't understand how crazy this is.
02:21:46.000
Not a lot of people who get sexually assaulted have time to text.
02:21:52.000
He was enjoying the fact that it was Kevin Spacey doing to him, for sure.
02:21:55.000
But it doesn't sound to me in any way like he was threatened.
02:21:59.000
And maybe he should be accused of blue balling, Mr. Spacey.
02:22:06.000
Do you think that he was flirting with him a little bit?
02:22:13.000
If Kevin Spacey really did do it, then it's fucked up that we're joking about it.
02:22:17.000
And if Kevin Spacey didn't do it, then it's fucked up that this guy is trying to set him up because he just wants to make money and he's ruining Kevin Spacey's life.
02:22:24.000
But Kevin Spacey's life is already in the middle.
02:22:34.000
If you look at that story, after you read those texts, you go, oh, this is a different thing.
02:22:39.000
This isn't like he's trying to force some guy into a bathroom and bludgeon him and fuck him while he's unconscious.
02:22:52.000
Yeah, if you got your dick grabbed once and you didn't want it, you don't let it happen seven more times.
02:23:01.000
And everyone's like, look, the victim is crying for help.
02:23:04.000
Yeah, and he texts someone, he just grabbed my dick.
02:23:08.000
This is what men have to really truly understand.
02:23:10.000
It is so much different when a guy like Kevin Spacey, and again, I don't know what this guy looked like, but I'm going to assume it was me at 18. Sure.
02:23:23.000
I'm strong at 18. I'm not worried about him raping me is what my point is.
02:23:27.000
Whereas a woman, if a guy's doing that and the guy's cornered you- Fear.
02:23:32.000
You're literally worried this guy could rape you.
02:23:34.000
I hope he's not that guy that would rape me, the kind of guy.
02:23:37.000
Because women don't know if you're the kind of guy that would rape them.
02:23:42.000
And girls would just go with him because they thought, like, oh, he looks good.
02:23:49.000
So girls legitimately have to worry about that work, guys.
02:23:52.000
So even this guy with Kevin Spacey, if he didn't like what Kevin Spacey was doing, there's no indication that he said it to him.
02:24:01.000
So Kevin Spacey's probably thinking, we're gonna party.
02:24:08.000
You gotta tell your friends when I fuck your mouth.
02:24:16.000
He's probably thinking he's gonna have a good time because this guy's not saying anything.
02:24:21.000
Never does he say, hey, I told him to stop touching my dick and he won't leave me alone.
02:24:29.000
I was gonna fuck him up, but I guess he's drunk.
02:24:34.000
It's like, LOL, he's jerking me off in his mouth.
02:24:37.000
She says, be careful, have fun, which is like, you're out for the night, I guess.
02:24:49.000
Okay, this idea that he should get money because he was getting sexually assaulted.
02:24:55.000
And you're at an establishment that serves drugs.
02:24:59.000
The drug that reduces inhibition better than any drug.
02:25:03.000
And you're accepting this drug from this guy who's already touched your dick seven times.
02:25:08.000
This isn't like a, I didn't know what was happening.
02:25:17.000
Do you think that Kevin Spacey should be able to sue him back?
02:25:27.000
If there was a court of men where you could judge Santino, please welcome this case.
02:25:35.000
Mr. Spacey touched this boy's dick over and over again and continued to buy him drinks.
02:25:39.000
And the man never said no, but he texted his girlfriend over and over again and then later on sued Mr. Spacey for sexual assault.
02:25:54.000
Okay, then the question is, is there a real issue with him being 18?
02:26:04.000
Maybe he's never been around a famous guy like Kevin Spacey before.
02:26:08.000
He doesn't know how to tell a guy to get off of him.
02:26:10.000
He doesn't have experience being around gay guys.
02:26:18.000
Oh, he's touching me and maybe we're going to hang out with him.
02:26:33.000
But he lied to him until he was 23. That was another part of the problem.
02:26:38.000
The kid lied and told Kevin Spacey he was older than he was.
02:26:43.000
Also, there's bars you can go into under 21. I know you can be in there.
02:26:52.000
And he just kept walking by him and he kept grabbing his dick every time he walked by.
02:27:01.000
But it was a financial opportunity and he had to...
02:27:14.000
He got him drunk and then sexually assaulted him at that bar is what happened.
02:27:37.000
The billboards and everyone was like, oh, okay.
02:27:47.000
She's one of the best actresses we've ever had alive.
02:27:51.000
He was the ultimate evil that was turning her more evil.
02:28:01.000
By the way, in the show, he's doing a lot of gay shit.
02:28:06.000
He gets his cocks up in a library or some shit.
02:28:13.000
And you needed a dirty, crazy fuck like Kevin Spacey to pull that character off.
02:28:19.000
Look, part of you knew he knew what it was to be a crazy fuck.
02:28:29.000
That's not Ron Howard pretending to be banging dudes and Getting his dick sucked and all that stuff.
02:28:36.000
I think his best role is he's playing a crazy guy.
02:28:39.000
It's also why he's such an amazing artist, but it doesn't give him a license to victimize all those people that he went after.
02:28:48.000
It's not justifying, but what I'm saying is it's amazing how someone who is fucked up like that can produce You know, like, this kind of art where, like, he makes a show, right?
02:29:04.000
It's because you bought this guy as this crazy, tormented, twisted fuck.
02:29:18.000
I mean, you know how many people in America you say...
02:29:32.000
But how many people in America were like, no he's not?
02:29:42.000
And in the show, him playing this character who's also art imitating life, balancing on this world of hiding a big secret.
02:30:01.000
Watching them naked in bed in some amazing loft and so on.
02:30:07.000
The dynamics was too strong when they were together.
02:30:09.000
In the episode one that I watched, the only one that I watched, everybody looked super nervous.
02:30:21.000
They just fired Kevin Spacey and everybody was watching.
02:30:23.000
Even on camera, they're like, So we'll just continue this game.
02:30:33.000
Was his assistant, that guy that helped him out, that would do anything for him.
02:30:45.000
Kevin Spacey killed a girl in front of the train.
02:30:48.000
And then the other guy went back and killed a hooker.
02:30:51.000
That hooker went on to be the marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
02:31:24.000
When you go to Whole Foods, you get a good discount on shit.
02:31:27.000
I was like, she was like, do you have your app?
02:32:18.000
They've changed the way grocery stores have to work now because they have that two-hour delivery.
02:32:31.000
We will reach a point now when we don't go into grocery stores.
02:32:36.000
Dude, when I was a kid, no grocery stores delivered.
02:32:43.000
They do have the store, too, where you walk in and it feels like you're stealing.
02:32:51.000
People just walk in and you have the app in your phone so when you walk out, it registers what you have with you.
02:33:01.000
There will be a point when we don't ever go to those things.
02:33:07.000
How long will it be before they can replicate food and all you have to do is put the bare ingredients and amino acids and shit into some vat and then you print up anything you want.
02:33:17.000
Print up, 3D print a steak, 3D print an apple, 3D print a baked potato.
02:33:32.000
People say that, like, yeah, these new cars, man, there's no soul.
02:33:41.000
Just little things that they figure out how to fucking move around, wiggle.
02:33:47.000
Perfect comes out with a nice, like, toast to the crust.
02:34:04.000
What if they have like the perfect trocker croissant?
02:34:12.000
I feel like a robot might not be able to give a great massage.
02:34:16.000
Well, like, you know, they say that the oils in your hands are good when you eat with your hands.
02:34:20.000
That's why a lot of the world still eats with their fucking hands, right?
02:34:27.000
Your hands have natural enzymes that kill a lot of bacteria.
02:34:29.000
Well, I'm not wiping my ass with my hands anymore.
02:34:32.000
That's why in some countries it's a real insult to try to shake someone's hand with your left hand.
02:34:41.000
I still think there's something about the touch of food.
02:34:42.000
When someone touches food, it does something to enzymes of food.
02:34:46.000
Sounds like some fucking voodoo bullshit you learned from your astrologer.
02:34:55.000
There's something about the love of food that fucking a robot can.
02:35:00.000
Yeah, he understands enzymes that come from your fingers.
02:35:17.000
It sounds like you're talking about a cast iron skillet.
02:35:24.000
There's something in your hands that changes the chemical composition of food, that changes the flavor profiles in your mouth, and it makes it so you don't get sick.
02:35:36.000
This is what you say before you eat ass or after.
02:35:48.000
They were bleeding out of their asshole and mouth.
02:35:53.000
The only thing that's coming up, I typed in oils in hands, changing food.
02:35:56.000
Mike Tyson weed causes you to make up ridiculous facts.
02:36:18.000
Cultures that eat with their hands don't get sick.
02:36:39.000
Look, dude, there's got to be, there's some shit in people's hands that makes them not get sick when they eat.
02:37:23.000
It's just about sleeping, sneezing, vitamin C, sleep it off, get a handle on stress, be a gym rat.
02:37:48.000
When he comes back, just be like, no, yeah, we found so much stuff.
02:37:57.000
Someone on the internet is going to agree with me.
02:38:00.000
The thing I had with Bill Cosby, he just filed today for an appeal, apparently.
02:38:19.000
Hey, Joe, Jamie found a ton of fucking stuff proving my shit.
02:38:34.000
Sometimes you just have a dream, and in that dream you're convincing.
02:38:36.000
No, I've heard it somewhere, and then I thought, wow, that's amazing.
02:38:42.000
No, they just don't want to change to forks, and they say, make up some story about Hindu gods.
02:38:56.000
If you were Bill Cosby, would you just kill yourself?
02:39:02.000
I don't know what you can do when you're that far down the hole.
02:39:09.000
Here's a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier with Louis.
02:39:12.000
Think about Louis, and now think about Bill Cosby.
02:39:17.000
Right, but people don't want you to say that because they're both, air quotes, abusers.
02:39:23.000
One of them is a guy who did some stupid shit, kinky shit, weird shit.
02:39:34.000
To take the idea that you're supposed to forgive Louis...
02:39:40.000
And then I don't see a path for Bill Cosby to be forgiven.
02:39:46.000
When you've ruined the lives of how many people?
02:39:51.000
When something's that heinous, I just don't think, I think it's quite different.
02:39:58.000
If you wake up and you're with Bill Cosby and you thought he was going to take care of you and your pants are down by your ankles and you realize he fucked you while you're unconscious and he drugged you, that is going to fuck your head up.
02:40:08.000
It's going to change what you think about people, that someone could just drug you and treat you like meat.
02:40:14.000
They're doing things to you when you're out cold.
02:40:15.000
So you're saying, what's our laws of forgiveness?
02:40:20.000
First of all, you can't because he doesn't admit it.
02:40:24.000
So he never even gets to the door of acceptance, of forgiveness, of doing his penance.
02:40:30.000
If there is a penance, if there's anything you never do ever, he doesn't even get to the door.
02:40:34.000
If he did admit it, then would there be room for forgiveness?
02:40:38.000
I think it would probably open up the door to more lawsuits.
02:40:42.000
I think they would come storming in like hail, you know?
02:40:46.000
Yeah, but I know what you're saying is very smart.
02:40:49.000
It's saying like, We're saying we're supposed to forgive someone like Louis.
02:40:54.000
Well, what is the line of when you don't forgive?
02:41:00.000
What is it that we go, you can't forgive this person anymore?
02:41:13.000
You can no longer, from this moment forward, forgive this human being.
02:41:15.000
And the problem is, now here's where it gets slippery, if you decide you're gonna be the guy who says, I'm gonna kill this guy.
02:41:27.000
I mean, look, that's what we're essentially doing.
02:41:29.000
We're just doing it slow by putting him in a cage.
02:41:31.000
But if you were going to really decide, hey, we're going to remove this guy from the population.
02:41:39.000
We live in some village-type society thousands of years ago, right?
02:41:45.000
Well, we'd probably try to figure out a way to get rid of him.
02:41:52.000
What are the laws that allow someone to kill somebody?
02:41:57.000
Because you let people kill people, then you just come up with excuses to kill people.
02:42:01.000
And this is what people have done throughout history, whether it's the Mongols or the Romans.
02:42:07.000
People have fucking killed people because they could kill people.
02:42:13.000
What is the moral distinction that you have to make where someone is...
02:42:27.000
That will never stop changing from decade to decade, from era to era.
02:42:31.000
What we find deplorable now will not be deplorable later.
02:42:35.000
And we see it with so many aspects of our culture.
02:42:48.000
Does that idea of like, this is the cutoff, does that really exist?
02:43:04.000
But I also think everybody needs to investigate what happened and find out.
02:43:14.000
Find out what the social psychology of what he was going through.
02:43:19.000
But what I think is happening, too, is that a lot of women feel like When these guys that are abusers got taken out, that it made it so that it was better for women and so that if they come back, things go back the way they were.
02:43:38.000
If we don't have conversation, then we're fucked.
02:43:40.000
I mean that's a real thought with – imagine being a guy like Harvey Weinstein who was doing this for so long, getting away with all this fucked up shit for so long.
02:43:56.000
Detailing what would happen for the first case of sexual harassment, second case, third case, in the contract.
02:44:08.000
Hey Cheeto, I'd love you to join my podcast network.
02:44:19.000
So what I want to put is the first rape, I'm going to charge you this much.
02:44:26.000
Imagine the first sexual harassment has got a figure, and the second one, a lawsuit has another figure, a double the figure.
02:44:56.000
You can't make a better case for a glutton than that guy.
02:45:21.000
But it's interesting because that is a villain in a movie.
02:45:35.000
In a fucking Harvey Weinstein movie is what he is.
02:45:39.000
No, but he's a villain in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
02:45:43.000
If there was a guy who was doing dark shit and then one of the girls winds up being like some kick-ass female character winds up shooting him and killing him.
02:46:08.000
Like, Patricia Arquette when she killed Tony Soprano.
02:46:19.000
That Tony Soprano character that she killed when James Gandolfini in True Romance...
02:46:47.000
Bro, you better not be wrong, because that's even worse.
02:47:05.000
She was a part of when Vinnie Barbarino had the girl overdose.
02:47:18.000
She was the girl that had shit all over her face, as he said.
02:47:20.000
He goes, who's the girl with the shit all over her face?
02:47:30.000
He goes, how's the chick with shit all over her face?
02:47:38.000
Easily one of the best films ever made, always.
02:47:42.000
But Patricia Arquette in True Romance, when she killed James Gandolfini, she's killing the glutton.
02:47:48.000
She's killing the big, disgusting, asshole man.
02:47:53.000
That big, asshole, shitty man who doesn't give a fuck about women and he's going to kill her, but she's Fucking...
02:48:17.000
I remember I saw that movie when I first moved to Hollywood.
02:48:21.000
I first moved here, and I was watching that movie.
02:48:29.000
He said it's his best movie he's made since then, and I've heard the reviews are awesome, and they're telling the audiences to not spoil it for the rest of the people that are going to see it.
02:48:45.000
They redid a bunch of Hollywood and made it look like the 70s.
02:48:49.000
If you haven't realized why some of it's been repainted in weird ways, it was because of those scenes they were shooting there.
02:49:02.000
Him and I were going to dinner at Musso and Frank's and he likes that place.
02:49:10.000
And I show up there and I'm like, dude, what the fuck is going on?
02:49:17.000
Because it still looks like that, so that was like the best place for them to do it.
02:49:21.000
So they let you eat dinner while they're filming a movie?
02:49:28.000
I told the guy, I go, something's got to be going on.
02:49:41.000
It's already 610. This is them eating there, actually, right there.
02:49:55.000
It fucking feels like it's been there 100 years.
02:50:15.000
I feel like Mick Jagger likes to go there all the time too with Keith Richards and shit.
02:50:21.000
They went there before they had their concert on Hollywood Boulevard.
02:50:28.000
Can you believe that motherfucker can still dance?
02:50:29.000
Bro, he had a heart attack, had open heart surgery or whatever he had.
02:50:32.000
And he was on stage like a month later strutting his shit.
02:50:38.000
That just means the universe wants him to live.
02:50:49.000
Yeah, he does dancing and yoga and lifts weights, all kinds of shit.
02:50:54.000
There was a period where he never worked out once.
02:51:00.000
Back on stage 11 weeks after having heart surgery.
02:51:16.000
Take a bunch of water from Target or whatever the fuck it was.
02:51:27.000
The doctor said they've never operated on an athlete at 75 before.
02:51:39.000
But if you slow down and stop, your shit will break.
02:51:43.000
That's the message of the day, ladies and gentlemen.
02:52:01.000
Some big-ass place with the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe.