The Joe Rogan Experience - July 11, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1324 - Ian Edwards


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 30 minutes

Words per Minute

187.47836

Word Count

28,178

Sentence Count

3,341

Misogynist Sentences

105

Hate Speech Sentences

57


Summary

In this episode, the boys talk about what's going on in the world of fast food restaurants and other fast food outlets. They also talk about some of the weirdest things they ve ever seen in a fast food restaurant and some of their favorite places to eat in general. Also, the guys talk about the weird things that have been going on on the streets of Los Angeles and the weird stuff they ve been doing on the street. And, of course, there's a little bit of food and a whole lot of randomness thrown in there. Don't miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions and thoughts expressed here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced, produced, and edited by our employees. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your music. It helps us spread the word about what we are doing. Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast. Love ya, bye. Peace, Blessings, Kristy. Kristy and the crew at Gimlet Media. -Jon Sorrentino and the rest of the boys at The Parcast. Jon and the Parcast team Jon & the team at Parcast - Jamie and the guys at VaynerMedia. . Jon is a good friend of the show. Jamie is a great human being a good dude and a good human being an even better human being and a great friend of this week, too. Thank you, Jon and his wife and a very good friend, too! -Jon and the boys are a good guy and a nice guy, too, thank you for letting us know that he's a great guy and he's cool, Jon's a lot more than that's good enough to help us out and we appreciate you, too much more than you can do that. and we're grateful to have him out here too, so much thanks you're good enough, so thank you so much, he's not only that's not enough, you're cool enough to give us a chance to do that, too good of a good thing, so we're not enough.


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Boom!
00:00:03.000 Ian Edwards, ever the contrarian, shows up with an Android phone drinking tea.
00:00:08.000 Crazy!
00:00:09.000 You just followed no rules, man.
00:00:11.000 Still vegan, baby.
00:00:14.000 Sorta.
00:00:15.000 You had some french fries with David Lee Roth that were made with clearly some animal fat.
00:00:19.000 Jamie, you were there.
00:00:21.000 What did you see?
00:00:21.000 I saw a french fry or two.
00:00:23.000 Disappeared in my life.
00:00:24.000 Listen, at that MGM Steakhouse, they ain't cooking those french fries in anything other than animal fat.
00:00:30.000 Guaranteed.
00:00:31.000 They're too delicious.
00:00:32.000 I didn't see it.
00:00:33.000 I didn't see it.
00:00:34.000 Even at McDonald's, if you get McDonald's fries, apparently they cook them in some fucking disgusting fat.
00:00:39.000 Well, that's what makes them taste so good.
00:00:42.000 What does make McDonald fries taste good?
00:00:44.000 They're pretty good, but they're not my favorite.
00:00:46.000 They're not?
00:00:47.000 I get confused when people say they're better than In-N-Out fries.
00:00:50.000 I like fries that taste like potatoes.
00:00:53.000 Oh, yeah?
00:00:53.000 In-N-Out fries are far superior.
00:00:56.000 I don't like fries that taste like potatoes.
00:00:58.000 How dare you!
00:01:00.000 This is the most upset I've ever seen Jamie in all my years working with him!
00:01:06.000 Is In-N-Out fries better than McDonald's?
00:01:08.000 I do personally feel...
00:01:10.000 You know who I had beef with that about?
00:01:12.000 Candy Alexander from NewsRadio.
00:01:15.000 She was the first person to...
00:01:16.000 We went and got In-N-Out for the whole group of us.
00:01:20.000 And she got McDonald's fries.
00:01:24.000 She went and got McDonald's fries.
00:01:25.000 I'm like, why'd you get McDonald's fries?
00:01:26.000 She's like, fuck those bullshit fries.
00:01:28.000 Those In-N-Out fries.
00:01:29.000 I'm like, what?!
00:01:31.000 I didn't understand.
00:01:32.000 They can be okay, but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad.
00:01:37.000 To me, they're remarkably consistent.
00:01:39.000 They always taste like potatoes.
00:01:41.000 What are we discussing here?
00:01:42.000 Fries are remarkably...
00:01:43.000 It's like wine.
00:01:45.000 Remarkably...
00:01:45.000 Well, still, they can't fuck with Five Guys fries.
00:01:49.000 Five guys are the king of fries.
00:01:50.000 For real?
00:01:51.000 Yes, they have two options.
00:01:52.000 They're real.
00:01:54.000 They have the fucking potatoes in bags sitting in their goddamn store just to let you know, bitch, we're using these potatoes.
00:02:00.000 And then they take that bag and shake it in there and cut it up.
00:02:03.000 They have Cajun fries.
00:02:05.000 So they win.
00:02:06.000 You have another option.
00:02:07.000 You got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious.
00:02:10.000 Might have to stop by there.
00:02:11.000 And then you don't have to crack packets to get your ketchup.
00:02:15.000 They have a giant tub of the ketchup.
00:02:17.000 You squirt that bitch in a nice little cup, a little paper cup.
00:02:22.000 You can shower it in ketchup.
00:02:25.000 McDonald's had that.
00:02:25.000 Homeless people would be under it.
00:02:28.000 Squirt mustard in their mouth.
00:02:32.000 I'll tell you what, man.
00:02:34.000 Since Starbucks got in trouble for being racist, there's a lot more homeless people at Starbucks.
00:02:39.000 Like, they understand now.
00:02:41.000 They could just go there.
00:02:42.000 It's really odd.
00:02:44.000 That's so funny.
00:02:45.000 It's true.
00:02:45.000 They can't get kicked out.
00:02:46.000 They can't get kicked out.
00:02:46.000 Everybody's afraid.
00:02:48.000 Dude, it's 100% different.
00:02:50.000 100% different in some spots.
00:02:51.000 Which ones are you going to?
00:02:52.000 Because the ones in Hollywood, they know how to handle it for the most part.
00:02:55.000 They got locks on everything.
00:02:56.000 I went to a shifty one in downtown where they don't even have a bathroom.
00:03:01.000 Like, how are you serving coffee if you don't have a bathroom?
00:03:03.000 Coffee makes you shit and piss.
00:03:05.000 This is ridiculous.
00:03:06.000 But I realized they didn't have a bathroom because of the homeless people.
00:03:09.000 There was homeless people that had, like, this guy had a port and he was charging all of his devices.
00:03:14.000 He had everything.
00:03:15.000 He had, like, a phone, a fucking iPad.
00:03:16.000 He's got a long night ahead of him.
00:03:18.000 But they get free electricity there.
00:03:19.000 So he's got a bag of his stuff.
00:03:22.000 He's got a little camp in the corner of the Starbucks.
00:03:24.000 I'm like, wow.
00:03:26.000 On one hand, like, hey, how's a guy supposed to get some electricity?
00:03:29.000 I want him to get back up on his feet.
00:03:31.000 Maybe this is the way to do it.
00:03:32.000 Maybe it's through that iPad.
00:03:33.000 On the other hand, I'm like, hey, don't give me a disease, you fucking...
00:03:37.000 I got hit to this Instagram account yesterday, Street People of Los Angeles, which has got some very interesting content.
00:03:44.000 Is that a naked person?
00:03:45.000 Yes, it is.
00:03:46.000 A naked person just changing on the street?
00:03:48.000 Changing on the street.
00:03:49.000 That was actually in San Francisco, I think.
00:03:50.000 I remember checking that post.
00:03:51.000 Wow.
00:03:52.000 This has got some interesting stuff.
00:03:53.000 These guys were cooking underneath a tree with a live grill somewhere.
00:03:59.000 There's a Tommy's in Hollywood.
00:04:01.000 Sorry, go ahead.
00:04:03.000 There's always a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it.
00:04:07.000 There's a bus stop.
00:04:08.000 They have a lit fire.
00:04:11.000 Like, cavemen.
00:04:12.000 Like, fear of the walking dead style.
00:04:17.000 Campfire.
00:04:18.000 Like, outside of the Tommies on Hollywood Boulevard.
00:04:21.000 Like, on a daily basis.
00:04:23.000 How weird.
00:04:24.000 It's just weird that that's okay.
00:04:26.000 Like, if you just wanted to start a fire...
00:04:29.000 On the side of the road.
00:04:30.000 Would that be okay?
00:04:31.000 No.
00:04:31.000 But can you certify her to cook?
00:04:34.000 Apparently.
00:04:35.000 Can you?
00:04:35.000 Or did they just not get busted?
00:04:37.000 Probably need a permit.
00:04:38.000 Yeah, I think you need something.
00:04:40.000 To be like a grill street vendor type permit.
00:04:43.000 If you wanted to sell.
00:04:44.000 What if you just wanted to give food away?
00:04:46.000 You can't do that.
00:04:47.000 You can't, but you can eat it yourself.
00:04:51.000 I don't know.
00:04:51.000 Could you offer it to somebody?
00:04:52.000 I don't know.
00:04:53.000 It seems like you could offer it to somebody.
00:04:55.000 Like, you know, if they allow you to cook, and you and I were sitting there and we're cooking, and I said, would you like some?
00:05:00.000 And you said, sure, that looks good.
00:05:02.000 That should be okay.
00:05:03.000 Yeah, it's like a donation.
00:05:04.000 You know, some places, they don't charge you to get in, but they accept a donation.
00:05:08.000 But what if you plan in advance?
00:05:09.000 You say, hey, all of us meet on the corner of 3rd and Santa Monica.
00:05:13.000 I'm going to have a cookout.
00:05:15.000 And where's your house?
00:05:16.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:05:17.000 No house, son.
00:05:18.000 It's hilarious.
00:05:19.000 We're just setting up right here on the concrete.
00:05:21.000 Yeah, those people should just go to a park that has those grills.
00:05:24.000 Griffith Park is not far.
00:05:26.000 Right.
00:05:27.000 Griffith Park is like people with homes cook there.
00:05:29.000 Yeah, they got free grills.
00:05:31.000 Yeah.
00:05:31.000 You could just do it up there.
00:05:32.000 Anybody can cook there.
00:05:33.000 Yeah.
00:05:34.000 That is one of the nicest parts of LA, by the way.
00:05:36.000 And if people don't know, that is a fucking wildlife area.
00:05:41.000 That's a legit wildlife area.
00:05:43.000 There is a real predator, prey, fucking law of the jungle thing going down right now in Griffith Park.
00:05:50.000 It's mountain lions and deer.
00:05:52.000 And it is going down every day.
00:05:55.000 And coyotes.
00:05:56.000 You are doing all your stuff.
00:05:57.000 It's a really amazing place, right?
00:05:59.000 Because here we are.
00:06:00.000 We got Pasadena and Glendale and Burbank and LA. You know, beautiful fucking BMWs driving by.
00:06:07.000 Everything's cool.
00:06:08.000 People are jogging.
00:06:09.000 They got ear pods in.
00:06:11.000 They're jogging in Griffith Park.
00:06:12.000 They're jogging right near a war zone.
00:06:15.000 There's a war zone.
00:06:16.000 Bush is rustling sometimes because I live around the corner and I'm like...
00:06:20.000 Fuck.
00:06:21.000 Like, I'm on...
00:06:22.000 I'm staying paying attention 100%.
00:06:25.000 We got a giant framed picture headed to the studio of this mountain lion that was photographed by a camera trap.
00:06:33.000 You know what a camera trap is?
00:06:34.000 Nah.
00:06:35.000 They set them up to monitor the numbers of wildlife and to just try to get an accurate assessment of what's in the area.
00:06:42.000 So what it is is like a camera.
00:06:44.000 That's the photo.
00:06:45.000 It's a camera that operates...
00:06:47.000 On motion detection.
00:06:49.000 So as this cat, this probably 150-pound, super muscular, grown-ass mountain lion with a fucking collar on his neck, his name is P-22.
00:07:01.000 That's what it says up there?
00:07:03.000 It's about 119 pounds as of May.
00:07:06.000 Okay, so it's not quite that big.
00:07:07.000 So it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room.
00:07:10.000 If it's in the room with us, we're fucked.
00:07:12.000 But look how muscular it is.
00:07:14.000 I mean, that is a...
00:07:15.000 Look at the size of its goddamn forearms.
00:07:17.000 Those are Franco Colombo forearms.
00:07:19.000 That is a terrifying animal.
00:07:21.000 And that animal lives around where all these people are jogging.
00:07:25.000 It's a really strange situation.
00:07:27.000 Yeah, I'm never going to Griffith Park again.
00:07:29.000 Fuck that.
00:07:30.000 It's a It's a great park.
00:07:31.000 They don't fuck with people.
00:07:32.000 Till I saw P125. I'm out.
00:07:36.000 Stay in my house, bro.
00:07:38.000 Look at the Hollywood sign behind it, though.
00:07:40.000 It's so perfect.
00:07:42.000 It's almost like a fake picture.
00:07:43.000 That is so close to me.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, so close to you.
00:07:45.000 I went to the park.
00:07:46.000 I'm like a block and a half away from that joint.
00:07:49.000 Dude, I run with a knife.
00:07:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:52.000 I do.
00:07:52.000 I run with this fucking half-faced blades knife.
00:07:57.000 It's called the S-H-P-O-S. Subhuman piece of shit.
00:08:02.000 That's what the name of the knife is.
00:08:05.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:08:07.000 So they caught him here.
00:08:09.000 Look at that.
00:08:09.000 He's got blood and bones.
00:08:11.000 He's eating something.
00:08:12.000 That must be like a deer leg.
00:08:15.000 Fucking A, that is madness.
00:08:17.000 He's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it.
00:08:21.000 Fuck, man.
00:08:22.000 Because you know what?
00:08:23.000 The deer around there are really comfortable.
00:08:26.000 Yeah, but that could be a kid, man.
00:08:28.000 Right.
00:08:28.000 100% could be a kid.
00:08:30.000 But I know why he's there because the deer in that neighborhood, like they walk around in the daytime like they're tourists too.
00:08:36.000 Because there's no hunting around there.
00:08:38.000 So they're like all comfortable and shit.
00:08:40.000 I think people probably feed them too.
00:08:42.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 So then now that's like...
00:08:44.000 Oh, let me track these motherfuckers over to this area and I'll just have a feast.
00:08:49.000 It's a buffet night.
00:08:50.000 Look at this shit.
00:08:51.000 It's on Mulholland Drive.
00:08:52.000 It's on Mulholland Drive.
00:08:53.000 There's a grown-ass mountain lion with a collar on that's got a giant deer on the ground.
00:08:59.000 A buck.
00:09:00.000 Not giant.
00:09:01.000 It's probably a hundred pound deer.
00:09:02.000 On the ground.
00:09:04.000 Dead.
00:09:05.000 On the side of the city street.
00:09:08.000 This is civilization?
00:09:09.000 Yeah.
00:09:10.000 Civilization.
00:09:11.000 And this is a cat that's killing deer with its face.
00:09:14.000 That's where we live.
00:09:15.000 And not only that, we know where it is.
00:09:17.000 We have a collar on it.
00:09:18.000 We're playing this game.
00:09:19.000 You don't fuck with us, we won't fuck with you.
00:09:22.000 And they won't fuck with you for the most part.
00:09:24.000 The problem comes when they get old.
00:09:27.000 When they get old, they get real dangerous.
00:09:29.000 Because they get desperate.
00:09:30.000 They can't catch a deer anymore.
00:09:32.000 So they go for the easy kill.
00:09:33.000 They go for people.
00:09:34.000 People are easy.
00:09:35.000 Right.
00:09:36.000 Yeah, your kids are easy.
00:09:37.000 I'm going to go hiking with somebody slow.
00:09:39.000 That's a move.
00:09:40.000 Yeah.
00:09:40.000 Go hiking with a small, slow person.
00:09:43.000 Someone who just doesn't look like a challenge at all.
00:09:45.000 Hey, man.
00:09:46.000 Survival of the fittest.
00:09:47.000 Go smoking with someone who's smoking.
00:09:49.000 Just smoking the meat makes it more attractive.
00:09:51.000 It's hilarious.
00:09:52.000 What if What we eat affects how we taste.
00:09:56.000 It's got it, right?
00:09:57.000 So maybe people who are really into junk food, they'd be more attractive.
00:10:02.000 They have a sweet taste to them.
00:10:04.000 I bet, right?
00:10:05.000 If you just eat candy all day, I bet you'd taste delicious.
00:10:07.000 Yeah.
00:10:08.000 The human Skittle.
00:10:09.000 Attack the human Skittle over here.
00:10:11.000 Leave me alone.
00:10:13.000 That fucking cat is so big, man.
00:10:15.000 Imagine just seeing a 115-pound cat in the room with you.
00:10:18.000 You'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ.
00:10:22.000 Like, my dog is probably...
00:10:25.000 Maybe 75, 80 pounds, somewhere in that range.
00:10:28.000 He's not a...
00:10:29.000 Marshall.
00:10:30.000 Yeah.
00:10:30.000 And if he wanted to kill me, he probably could.
00:10:34.000 Right.
00:10:35.000 I mean, he's a golden retriever.
00:10:37.000 They don't kill anything other than squirrels.
00:10:39.000 But if he wanted to, I mean, I don't know.
00:10:42.000 If he had that mentality.
00:10:43.000 If he really was like crazed, like...
00:10:46.000 Like 28 days later, he got that rage virus in him, and he just went after me.
00:10:51.000 He's got giant-ass fucking teeth.
00:10:53.000 I mean, I assume that I would kick his ass because he listens to me, because I'm his daddy.
00:11:00.000 You know what I mean?
00:11:00.000 I've had pit bulls that growl at you a little bit, and you've got to kind of like, hey, motherfucker, I'm the one who gives you your food.
00:11:08.000 Cut the shit.
00:11:08.000 And then they give you their paw, and then they're sorry.
00:11:10.000 You play a little game with them, a little dominance game.
00:11:13.000 Especially when they're teenagers, and they're like one and a half, two years old, they'll test you.
00:11:17.000 Because it's natural for them.
00:11:18.000 It's natural for dogs.
00:11:20.000 Goldens don't ever do that.
00:11:21.000 He don't growl at anybody.
00:11:22.000 They're just obedient.
00:11:23.000 He's the worst guard dog of all time.
00:11:25.000 You come over everybody, he loves everybody.
00:11:27.000 He loves you.
00:11:28.000 He loves people like he's never met them, but he can't believe he hasn't seen them in so long.
00:11:36.000 It's like a long-lost friend.
00:11:38.000 He loves burglars.
00:11:38.000 They're long-lost friends.
00:11:39.000 Everyone's a long-lost friend.
00:11:40.000 Hilarious.
00:11:41.000 Everyone.
00:11:42.000 Everyone is a long-lost friend.
00:11:43.000 It is.
00:11:43.000 That's what it's like with him.
00:11:44.000 He's such a love sponge.
00:11:46.000 I would be jealous if that's my dog.
00:11:49.000 I'm like, so I'm not special?
00:11:52.000 Yes.
00:11:52.000 Just that motherfucker?
00:11:53.000 That's how dogs are.
00:11:54.000 Like, really friendly dogs.
00:11:56.000 Every new person is another opportunity for a new person to love them, too.
00:12:00.000 And so they get so excited to meet people.
00:12:02.000 Smart.
00:12:03.000 Dude, when people come over the house, he's so hilarious.
00:12:06.000 He loves everybody.
00:12:07.000 Like, I can't believe it's you!
00:12:09.000 And they're like, I never even met your dog!
00:12:11.000 It's like, it's you!
00:12:11.000 You idiot!
00:12:12.000 This is amazing!
00:12:14.000 And he just starts whining and running around in circles.
00:12:18.000 It's hilarious.
00:12:19.000 But if you wanted to, you could probably kill me.
00:12:21.000 I mean, if a rat was that big, I would fucking put my money on the rat.
00:12:25.000 On the rat?
00:12:26.000 Right?
00:12:27.000 And dogs kill rats all the time.
00:12:29.000 Even those little dogs, like Jack Russell's, those little tiny dogs, those are designed to kill rats.
00:12:34.000 Hilarious.
00:12:34.000 My ex had a dog, right?
00:12:36.000 And I was holding a dog, and she got into a car right across the street and moved it, and then got out of the car.
00:12:45.000 And the dog acted like...
00:12:47.000 He didn't just see her jump in the car.
00:12:49.000 He acted like she went away for two days.
00:12:53.000 I thought you were going to leave me!
00:12:55.000 I was like, she just moved the car across.
00:12:58.000 We watched her do it.
00:13:00.000 Do you remember when we had Mr. Foster, Aaron Foster, on the podcast and he was talking about being able to kill a wolf?
00:13:08.000 You wanted to fight one.
00:13:09.000 We had to correct him.
00:13:10.000 We had to go press stop.
00:13:12.000 Just don't.
00:13:13.000 I know you're a beast, but come on, man.
00:13:15.000 We're people.
00:13:16.000 We're made out of smush.
00:13:17.000 Yeah.
00:13:18.000 Everything's smushy.
00:13:20.000 It's all so soft.
00:13:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:21.000 Something that wants to bite your tit, like if a wolf decided to bite your tit, the amount of pain that you'd be in would be unbearable.
00:13:28.000 I know, you feel like one of those buns that they give you at the steakhouse.
00:13:33.000 That's what your flesh feels like.
00:13:34.000 Exactly.
00:13:35.000 Like a steakhouse bun bread.
00:13:38.000 Look at his fucking...
00:13:39.000 Aaron Foster spent four hours on Twitter explaining why he'd beat a wolf one-on-one.
00:13:44.000 It is hilarious.
00:13:46.000 Isn't he doing a podcast now?
00:13:47.000 Yeah, he's got his own podcast.
00:13:48.000 He started doing music, which is really good.
00:13:50.000 He just released some music under, I think, Bobby Fino's name.
00:13:52.000 He's a running back.
00:13:54.000 Yeah, he was running back.
00:13:55.000 He's a vegan running back.
00:13:57.000 He retired young, and he's fucking super smart, man.
00:14:01.000 Except when it comes to wolves.
00:14:04.000 I think he's trolling a little bit.
00:14:06.000 He's having a little fun.
00:14:07.000 He's being smart.
00:14:08.000 There's like a wolf he could get.
00:14:09.000 Not any wolf, but there's one out there he could take.
00:14:12.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:13.000 He could fuck up an old one.
00:14:14.000 A declawed one with no teeth.
00:14:16.000 A grandma wolf.
00:14:19.000 We're good to go.
00:14:24.000 We're good to go.
00:14:35.000 And then next picture, the bears show up to take it, and now they're eating the fucking food instead of the cougar.
00:14:42.000 Oh my god.
00:14:43.000 So this is near us too?
00:14:44.000 This is 30 miles away.
00:14:45.000 Or probably even closer.
00:14:46.000 Who knows?
00:14:47.000 So bears steal deer from cougars.
00:14:49.000 This is what happens when liberals run a state.
00:14:52.000 Listen, folks, I'm liberal.
00:14:54.000 I'm with you.
00:14:55.000 I know a lot of you think I'm not.
00:14:56.000 There's a lot of knuckleheads out there that think I'm a part of the alt-right or something.
00:14:59.000 I vote left on fucking everything.
00:15:03.000 But you gotta stop anthropomorphizing animals.
00:15:07.000 We gotta be careful.
00:15:09.000 I'm on team people.
00:15:10.000 I don't want these animals to die.
00:15:12.000 But I also don't want to go out to my fucking swimming pool and see a bear in there.
00:15:15.000 And they have that in Pasadena.
00:15:18.000 Have you seen that shit in Pasadena?
00:15:19.000 This family went outside and there was a fucking bear swimming around their pool.
00:15:23.000 They got bears in Pasadena?
00:15:24.000 Bro!
00:15:25.000 Big ones.
00:15:26.000 Like a 200 pound bear swimming in this motherfucker's pool.
00:15:30.000 Do I live here?
00:15:31.000 Shit.
00:15:32.000 How do I know this shit?
00:15:34.000 Not only that, you gotta take over, man.
00:15:36.000 If they decide that this is their spot, look at this shit.
00:15:39.000 Hilarious.
00:15:39.000 Look at this, a few of them!
00:15:41.000 It's got the whole fam in there.
00:15:42.000 Oh my god!
00:15:43.000 How many bears are in there?
00:15:44.000 Three, I think.
00:15:45.000 Oh my god!
00:15:46.000 Dude.
00:15:48.000 These things are no joke.
00:15:50.000 The problem with bears is, too, once they get a spot where they know they can get food, or they can get water, or they can get something, they're going to come back to that spot.
00:16:00.000 They get habituated.
00:16:01.000 That's why they have a real problem with people at Yellowstone used to feed them.
00:16:06.000 People would pull in, and then I actually did that, or was there when that happened, when I was a little kid.
00:16:11.000 I went to Yellowstone.
00:16:13.000 My parents took me when I was probably like seven or eight years old.
00:16:16.000 And I remember just thinking, this is so crazy.
00:16:18.000 You're in your car and the bears are outside.
00:16:20.000 They're right there.
00:16:21.000 They don't do it the same way anymore, though.
00:16:24.000 Now they discourage human-bear interaction.
00:16:26.000 They just didn't understand it, I think, as well, which is kind of crazy because that was not that long ago.
00:16:31.000 It was like the 1970s.
00:16:33.000 I just don't understand people's like for ferocious animals.
00:16:38.000 I don't want to kill them, but I never want to feed something that could kill me.
00:16:44.000 Well, I think people have this really distorted idea of wildlife because of movies.
00:16:51.000 If you thought about what the Lion King is, you would never want a lion to die.
00:16:57.000 You know, Lion is noble.
00:16:58.000 I mean, sure, there's a few bad ones, but overall, the Lion King, he's the sweetheart.
00:17:04.000 He's amazing.
00:17:05.000 You think about Yogi Bear, and you think about teddy bears.
00:17:09.000 Kids have teddy bears.
00:17:11.000 I mean, we have this weird thing.
00:17:14.000 We take polar bears, which is the most vicious of all bears, and we have them be our friends selling us ice cream and Coca-Cola.
00:17:20.000 They're selling Klondike bars.
00:17:22.000 Yeah, we cartoon them.
00:17:24.000 And then people grow up watching these cartoons and think, oh, let me go pet this friendly thing that was drawn.
00:17:30.000 But that's a ferocious beast.
00:17:33.000 Yeah, I wish it didn't have a history.
00:17:35.000 If we just thought of it as a thing, like a wolverine.
00:17:39.000 Wolverines don't have any...
00:17:41.000 No one feels about a wolverine the same way they think about a bear.
00:17:45.000 Because there's no cute wolverines.
00:17:47.000 There's only the ones that you see in X-Men or...
00:17:52.000 Like the Wolverine dude.
00:17:53.000 It's just one.
00:17:54.000 Yeah.
00:17:55.000 But he's like a person.
00:17:56.000 His name's Wolverine.
00:17:57.000 There's no cute Wolverines because they're so fucking ferocious.
00:18:00.000 Such a monster of a little animal.
00:18:02.000 One Wolverine will fuck up a big bear.
00:18:04.000 Oh, for real?
00:18:05.000 Dude, they're fucking ruthless.
00:18:06.000 They chase wolves off food.
00:18:08.000 How big are Wolverines?
00:18:09.000 Not big, man.
00:18:10.000 40 pounds?
00:18:11.000 50 pounds?
00:18:12.000 Jeez.
00:18:12.000 They'll fuck up everything.
00:18:14.000 They fuck up everything.
00:18:16.000 Everything runs away from them.
00:18:17.000 They're just ready to die.
00:18:19.000 Yeah.
00:18:19.000 All day.
00:18:20.000 All day ready to die.
00:18:22.000 And they're super strong and durable for a little tiny thing.
00:18:25.000 You know what a wolverine looks like?
00:18:27.000 Pull up a wolverine bearing his fangs.
00:18:30.000 It looks like a fake animal.
00:18:31.000 It looks like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs.
00:18:37.000 It's like a super badger.
00:18:39.000 Badgers are very similar.
00:18:41.000 And badgers are vicious.
00:18:42.000 I know they're vicious.
00:18:43.000 Fucking vicious.
00:18:44.000 That's a Wolverine.
00:18:45.000 Jesus.
00:18:46.000 Bro!
00:18:47.000 I mean, look at the teeth on that thing.
00:18:48.000 Look at its face.
00:18:49.000 And it's smiling.
00:18:51.000 Yeah.
00:18:51.000 That's a good day.
00:18:53.000 Those motherfuckers are ready to go to war all day.
00:18:57.000 Make weird noises.
00:18:58.000 They're terrifying.
00:18:59.000 Like, if that thing wanted to kill you, you would be fucked.
00:19:02.000 Look at those claws.
00:19:03.000 The claws and the teeth.
00:19:04.000 Now imagine that that thing is hyper-aggressive and it's a predator.
00:19:10.000 Fuck!
00:19:10.000 That shit is built to survive.
00:19:13.000 Fuck, man.
00:19:14.000 That is a crazy little animal.
00:19:16.000 They are ferocious and they are ready to go at all times.
00:19:20.000 I mean, they'll try to get the fuck away from you.
00:19:22.000 The animal scientific name means the glutton.
00:19:26.000 Damn.
00:19:27.000 It's a pretty apt description.
00:19:29.000 Four feet tall, weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males.
00:19:32.000 These fierce creatures are the largest members of the weasel family.
00:19:36.000 They're fucking weasels, bro.
00:19:38.000 A vicious weasel.
00:19:40.000 Still, they're small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food, but a wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line.
00:19:47.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:19:48.000 40 pounds.
00:19:50.000 The way bears are to us is the way, or we are to dogs.
00:19:54.000 You know, like an 80-pound dog would probably fuck you up if you're a 150-pound person.
00:19:57.000 That's how wolverines are to bears.
00:19:59.000 A 40-pound wolverine might fuck up a 200-pound bear.
00:20:02.000 A bear's like, damn, this ain't worth it.
00:20:04.000 When I die, I want to come back as a wolverine.
00:20:06.000 Yeah.
00:20:06.000 It's a vicious-ass animal.
00:20:09.000 They eat caribou.
00:20:11.000 They eat hares and rodents as well as larger animals like caribou that are weak or ill, but will also scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on.
00:20:19.000 They also eat vegetables and berries.
00:20:21.000 Frozen meat isn't a deterrent.
00:20:23.000 Their upper molar that sits sideways at 90 degrees lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses.
00:20:28.000 Their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones.
00:20:32.000 Whoa.
00:20:33.000 Damn.
00:20:34.000 Once they got food, they often bury it to save for later.
00:20:36.000 Mere hours after a meal, they'll go on the hunt again.
00:20:40.000 Ferocious.
00:20:41.000 Ferocious little fucks.
00:20:42.000 Ugly as shit, too.
00:20:43.000 Yeah, so we don't have a cutie one of those.
00:20:45.000 Right.
00:20:46.000 We don't have a cutie one of those.
00:20:47.000 If we did, we'd be like, the Wolverine!
00:20:50.000 Hi, Mr. Wolverine!
00:20:51.000 Hi, kids!
00:20:52.000 I'm here to help you and guide you through the forest!
00:20:54.000 No, they're here to eat your kids.
00:20:55.000 I'm waiting for some...
00:21:09.000 We'll beat you to death Has a wolverine ever killed a person?
00:21:16.000 There's some women that will get offended by that.
00:21:17.000 Why does it have to always be a woman?
00:21:19.000 Is it you?
00:21:19.000 It's not you, right?
00:21:20.000 Right.
00:21:21.000 I'm not talking about you.
00:21:22.000 Right.
00:21:22.000 Why do we have to be gender-specific?
00:21:25.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:21:26.000 Like, if I'm saying, oh, it's probably a woman, it doesn't mean to hate no women.
00:21:29.000 Right.
00:21:29.000 What it means is, it's probably really a woman.
00:21:31.000 Right.
00:21:32.000 Right.
00:21:32.000 If you had a guess, just being honest.
00:21:34.000 Because the peacock person...
00:21:35.000 That was a woman.
00:21:35.000 That was a woman.
00:21:36.000 And then the...
00:21:38.000 But in the defense of women, a guy got an emotional support alligator recently.
00:21:44.000 What an idiot.
00:21:44.000 He was a guy.
00:21:45.000 And he's an idiot.
00:21:46.000 But I hear about that and I wonder how many of those people, including the peacock lady, are doing it just for attention because they know that people talk about it.
00:21:54.000 I think people that have, like I saw this girl in San Diego, La Jolla.
00:22:00.000 She came to the restaurant with her micro pig.
00:22:03.000 That's not real, you know.
00:22:05.000 That's not real.
00:22:06.000 They made those?
00:22:07.000 Yeah, Whitney Cummings explained it to me.
00:22:09.000 She adopted a pig and then fed it and then drove some ungodly amount of time, like two days, to Texas to drop it off at a pig sanctuary.
00:22:19.000 That's how crazy for animals Whitney Cummings is.
00:22:22.000 So through Whitney, I learned that pigs are just pigs.
00:22:26.000 There's no micro pig.
00:22:27.000 It's just a pig that they don't feed.
00:22:30.000 Oh, for real?
00:22:31.000 For real.
00:22:31.000 So they just starved it and it just stayed small?
00:22:34.000 They just keep it from getting big by not giving it a lot of food.
00:22:36.000 That's not cool.
00:22:37.000 Pawn it off on a sucker.
00:22:38.000 It's a pig.
00:22:39.000 Exactly.
00:22:39.000 It's got to eat.
00:22:40.000 Exactly.
00:22:41.000 It's a greedy little pig.
00:22:42.000 Yeah.
00:22:42.000 I mean, they're famous for getting fat.
00:22:45.000 That's what they love to do.
00:22:45.000 So they'll pawn it off on some person.
00:22:48.000 Mm-hmm.
00:22:49.000 Well, because they can't afford not to feed it?
00:22:51.000 No, the person doesn't know any better.
00:22:53.000 They think they're getting a micro pig.
00:22:54.000 Oh, it's going to be small and cute forever.
00:22:56.000 No, you're going to have a thousand pound pig.
00:22:58.000 If you feed it everything it wants to eat, it's going to keep growing.
00:23:03.000 It's like, damn, how did my pig grow?
00:23:06.000 It's because it's a pig.
00:23:08.000 It's like micro people.
00:23:10.000 If you look at people from the Civil War day, they were all 125 pounds.
00:23:14.000 Why was that?
00:23:15.000 Because they didn't have any fucking food, man.
00:23:16.000 The same guy today would probably be 200 pounds.
00:23:19.000 Especially with McDonald's and all that stuff and everything in it.
00:23:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:23:23.000 Even just eating regular food.
00:23:25.000 Just real meat and potatoes and vegetables and shit.
00:23:28.000 You're not going to be 125 pounds.
00:23:29.000 That guy was probably starving.
00:23:30.000 Yeah, they probably didn't have three meals a day back in the Civil War era.
00:23:34.000 And snacks.
00:23:36.000 I read this book by this pool hustler.
00:23:40.000 It was McGurdy, Life of a Billiard Hustler, I think it was.
00:23:44.000 It's a really interesting book because it was about a guy who survived by traveling around on trains like a hobo, gambling, playing pool and billiards in the Depression.
00:23:56.000 But during the Depression, he was talking about almost starving to death.
00:23:59.000 Like, they would knock on people's door and beg for food.
00:24:02.000 And, you know, people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them.
00:24:05.000 Like, everybody was, like, on the edge.
00:24:07.000 People had to really rely on people.
00:24:09.000 They didn't, like, rely on people for food.
00:24:11.000 There was no fucking jobs.
00:24:12.000 There was a lot of people back then.
00:24:14.000 You know, with looking at these homeless folks, and, like, for the most part, My opinion is you're looking at people probably have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness.
00:24:23.000 Yeah, it's a lot of that.
00:24:23.000 I think it's a lot.
00:24:25.000 I don't know what the number is, but I would think it's a lot.
00:24:27.000 And then there's also people that make mistakes down on their leg.
00:24:30.000 And then people that, you know, had terrible childhoods, horrible abuse, sexual abuse, violence, the evil parents, you know, parents die, leave them alone, foster care, all that kind of shit.
00:24:43.000 Yeah.
00:24:43.000 It's not their fault a lot of times.
00:24:45.000 And as humans, we should do something to take care of it.
00:24:49.000 But on the other hand...
00:24:51.000 Yeah.
00:24:51.000 And we just don't know who's who out there.
00:24:53.000 Yeah.
00:24:54.000 Exactly.
00:24:54.000 Who's mentally ill?
00:24:55.000 Who just needs help?
00:24:57.000 And the mentally ill people, man, they need help too.
00:24:59.000 But how do you force them to...
00:25:02.000 How do you force them into treatment?
00:25:04.000 How do you just get them real help?
00:25:06.000 Because the way they do help people with pills and all that stuff, some of it works and some of it doesn't work.
00:25:13.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:14.000 And some of it just creates a dependency on something.
00:25:18.000 So it's just like the system just from the beginning needs to be fixed and not just like pills.
00:25:27.000 Have you ever been on any kind of psych medication?
00:25:30.000 No.
00:25:30.000 Have you ever taken Adderall?
00:25:32.000 No.
00:25:32.000 Me neither.
00:25:33.000 I want to, though.
00:25:34.000 You do?
00:25:35.000 Jamie gave me a little bit of Adderall once, allegedly.
00:25:38.000 And I didn't take it.
00:25:39.000 I looked at it and was like, I don't want to fuck with this.
00:25:41.000 Yeah, I don't do it, man.
00:25:42.000 I'm scared of speed.
00:25:43.000 I gave it to you because I haven't taken it either.
00:25:45.000 I had it for a long time.
00:25:46.000 I was like, I don't think I'm going to take it.
00:25:47.000 Do you want it?
00:25:48.000 I've known so many people that do it and they get real weird.
00:25:53.000 They get weird.
00:25:54.000 And it's an amphetamine.
00:25:57.000 And when you take amphetamines, especially if you don't take amphetamines responsibly, really strange things happen.
00:26:04.000 And one of the things that happens is people get really paranoid.
00:26:07.000 They get really weird.
00:26:09.000 They get...
00:26:10.000 We're good to go.
00:26:31.000 That's what it's like.
00:26:33.000 Because I guess they get immune to it, so they gotta take extra.
00:26:37.000 Oh yeah, definitely.
00:26:39.000 And then the more you take, the worse it gets.
00:26:43.000 Yeah, tolerances are real for everything, I assume.
00:26:46.000 I mean, they even have tolerances for snake venom.
00:26:50.000 One of the things that snake handlers do, they'll give themselves a little bit of venom every day to make themselves immune to snake venom.
00:26:56.000 Your body's an amazing, adaptable thing, which is why vaccines work.
00:27:00.000 That's why these crazy fucks who don't want us to have vaccines, like, listen...
00:27:05.000 We've got to be real careful with claiming expertise on this shit.
00:27:10.000 We've got to be real careful with getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies.
00:27:13.000 We've got to be real careful of that, too.
00:27:15.000 But we've also got to be real careful of not listening to these doctors and researchers that are struggling to find the ways to cure these horrible infectious diseases.
00:27:25.000 Because they've got a lot of them nailed through vaccines.
00:27:28.000 It's so confusing out there.
00:27:29.000 You can make an argument for any team for anything.
00:27:33.000 You can.
00:27:34.000 So it's tough to figure out.
00:27:35.000 I know logical, intelligent people that think that vaccines cause autism.
00:27:41.000 And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if you know that.
00:27:45.000 Yeah, I think, I think.
00:27:47.000 Not a doctor.
00:27:47.000 No.
00:27:49.000 But I've heard logical, intelligent people argue that vaccines can cause autism.
00:27:56.000 I'm like, man, you're not a scientist.
00:27:58.000 Like, how could you say that?
00:28:00.000 Because you saw it in a documentary?
00:28:01.000 I know it's interesting when you see something in a documentary that sounds good, you want to relay it as fact.
00:28:07.000 I'm as guilty as that, as anyone.
00:28:08.000 Probably more guilty than most.
00:28:10.000 Right.
00:28:10.000 I'm guilty of doing that a lot.
00:28:12.000 But just recognizing that over time, I've gotten to this point where I'm like, maybe I should just shut the fuck up about something that I don't actually know about and try to figure out what it is instead of saying what it is.
00:28:24.000 What they do know is that vaccines have stopped the spread of a fucking bunch of awful diseases.
00:28:31.000 Yeah, saved a bunch of plagues.
00:28:34.000 Smallpox.
00:28:35.000 That Lindsay Fitzharris woman who's been on the podcast, Jamie, she sent me some image of some people with smallpox.
00:28:42.000 A bunch of stuff about smallpox.
00:28:44.000 Smallpox is horrific, man.
00:28:47.000 Just horrific, how it kills you.
00:28:49.000 Horrific.
00:28:50.000 They nip that shit in the bud with vaccines.
00:28:54.000 Maybe some vaccines do give people autism.
00:29:02.000 That's what that guy's back looks like.
00:29:04.000 Maybe some vaccines do give some people autism, but overall, most of the time, it helps everybody.
00:29:14.000 There's going to be some things that affect people differently.
00:29:17.000 But that means you can't stop taking it or giving it to everybody.
00:29:23.000 That's no consolation.
00:29:24.000 To stop them from having...
00:29:24.000 Right, it's no consolation if you get autism from it or if your child gets autism from it.
00:29:29.000 Yeah, but it's one of those things that's messy.
00:29:31.000 But everybody else that grows up without it, you know...
00:29:35.000 It's a messy thing about being a person, right?
00:29:37.000 Right.
00:29:38.000 It's not like clean, like, are you pro-abortion?
00:29:41.000 Well, I'm pro-abortion up to a point, right?
00:29:43.000 When it gets to like seven months, that seems to, you know, it gets longer in the pregnancy.
00:29:49.000 That seems like, if you're talking about like the first few days, yeah, what is that, like three cells?
00:29:54.000 I'm pro-abortion if I get the girl pregnant.
00:29:58.000 As far as it takes.
00:29:59.000 As far as it takes.
00:30:02.000 Yeah, it's a weird, you know, with many, many, many subjects.
00:30:07.000 There's like a weird, well, it's not exactly, well, it's this.
00:30:11.000 You know, there's a vaccine court for a reason.
00:30:14.000 Vaccines have done damage to people.
00:30:16.000 Yeah.
00:30:17.000 We're good to go.
00:30:46.000 They think it has something to do with the developmental process while the child is in vitro, in the woman's body.
00:30:53.000 Not after birth.
00:30:54.000 They don't think it occurs after birth.
00:30:56.000 But I don't know that.
00:30:57.000 I mean, they could be wrong.
00:30:58.000 They could be current, and then they could change that opinion a year from now.
00:31:02.000 They could find new evidence.
00:31:03.000 That shit happens all the time.
00:31:04.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:31:05.000 It really does.
00:31:07.000 It happens all the time.
00:31:09.000 But what we have to do is make sure we have fucking people that are working on this shit, trying to figure out the way to stop diseases.
00:31:15.000 Because otherwise some Spanish flu type shit comes rolling around.
00:31:18.000 Some simple shit can kill everybody.
00:31:20.000 That Spanish flu killed millions and millions of people in the 1920s.
00:31:24.000 Yeah, it doesn't sound lethal at all.
00:31:26.000 It's just Spanish flu.
00:31:27.000 It's just like, how did that kill people?
00:31:29.000 Sounds like a drink.
00:31:30.000 Yeah.
00:31:32.000 To bring that full circle back to downtown LA where typhus outbreaks have happened the last couple of years.
00:31:37.000 It's not the exact same thing as typhoid fever, I think, but it's very close.
00:31:41.000 It's a new one.
00:31:43.000 It's a new one.
00:31:43.000 It's a new typhoid that they don't have a fucking vaccine for.
00:31:46.000 I was down there the other day just trying to buy donuts.
00:31:50.000 Downtown?
00:31:50.000 The allure of downtown has escaped me.
00:31:54.000 Everybody thinks it's amazing.
00:31:56.000 When Jamie and I talked, and we've been talking about this forever, we wanted to get aloft in downtown, like up high, and start filming podcasts up there.
00:32:04.000 Because I think that would be the coolest backdrop.
00:32:07.000 For YouTube, you and me sitting here behind us, you're just all building.
00:32:12.000 Like some Times Square, MTV shit.
00:32:14.000 Lights and shit.
00:32:15.000 That would be an amazing backdrop for a podcast.
00:32:18.000 Green screen that now and be safe.
00:32:20.000 Yeah, I can't do that.
00:32:22.000 If I was going to green screen something, it would be like current events shit.
00:32:25.000 It would be like Melania Trump slapping Donald's hand away.
00:32:28.000 I'd be like, did you see that shit?
00:32:30.000 That would be what I would do.
00:32:31.000 I wouldn't pretend I'm in the savannas.
00:32:33.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:34.000 Behind me there's a cheetah creeping up on me and everybody sees me.
00:32:37.000 He's like, does he know?
00:32:38.000 Does he know?
00:32:39.000 I'll be sitting in Griffith Park.
00:32:41.000 Behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg.
00:32:44.000 I was meditating in Griffith Park one morning, and I hear rustling in the bushes, and it was a coyote just waking up.
00:32:52.000 They bite you.
00:32:53.000 Yeah, and I was like, I can't do that anymore.
00:32:56.000 Close my eyes in Griffith Park.
00:32:57.000 Yeah, you go camping out there, they'll bite you.
00:32:59.000 They'll check that you might be dead.
00:33:01.000 They'll take a bite.
00:33:01.000 If you just lie in there, like, damn, maybe he just recently died.
00:33:05.000 They'll just bite you.
00:33:06.000 Yeah.
00:33:06.000 They really will.
00:33:07.000 They really will.
00:33:08.000 They're predators.
00:33:08.000 That whole thing is so strange.
00:33:11.000 People are so strange how we just, we think it's cool.
00:33:14.000 I think it's cool to be around these bears and mountain lions and shit.
00:33:17.000 And we have urban coyotes, ones that you'll see walking down the street at night.
00:33:22.000 My neighbor had two little dogs and one of them was really old.
00:33:25.000 So then she had to walk them one at a time because she saw a coyote one time coming up on them and she couldn't handle both of them.
00:33:35.000 So she takes or she used to take each dog out to walk at night one at a time.
00:33:41.000 Take a gun.
00:33:42.000 Shoot that fucking rotten dog right in the face.
00:33:46.000 That's what a coyote is.
00:33:47.000 A dog, not her dog.
00:33:47.000 I was talking about the coyote.
00:33:49.000 Well, actually, it's a wolf.
00:33:51.000 It's a small wolf.
00:33:51.000 It's a small wolf.
00:33:52.000 Yeah, a coyote is a particularly durable and resilient form of wolf.
00:33:57.000 It's a shitty wolf.
00:33:58.000 It's a really interesting wolf.
00:34:00.000 There's a great book called Coyote America by Dan Flores.
00:34:05.000 I learned about him through my friend Steve Rinell.
00:34:07.000 I think he was his professor...
00:34:09.000 In one of his courses.
00:34:12.000 But he is a guy who spent an extreme amount of time studying the history and the science behind coyotes.
00:34:21.000 Really, really interesting book.
00:34:23.000 But one of the things they found out is that when you kill a coyote, they just make more coyotes.
00:34:28.000 That's why there's so many of them.
00:34:29.000 Like they know?
00:34:30.000 They spread out.
00:34:32.000 Yeah, when they yell out, they communicate in a lot of different ways.
00:34:36.000 They yell out when they kill something sometimes.
00:34:37.000 They yell out when they're trying to figure out where each other's are.
00:34:40.000 They also yell out like a roll call.
00:34:42.000 Oh, get the fuck out of here.
00:34:43.000 It's hard out there.
00:34:44.000 So they're like, hey, what's up, Ian?
00:34:46.000 Hey, Jamie!
00:34:48.000 Where are you, Jamie?
00:34:48.000 They do that.
00:34:49.000 That's part of what they're doing.
00:34:51.000 And when one is missing...
00:34:53.000 The female, there's some sort of a chemical or biological reaction and her body makes more puppies.
00:35:00.000 She's like, we're fucking tonight.
00:35:02.000 Yeah.
00:35:02.000 I didn't hear Jamie, we're fucking tonight.
00:35:04.000 They make larger litters.
00:35:06.000 Damn.
00:35:06.000 So if a normal litter would be like four pups, if someone's missing, they'll make six or eight.
00:35:11.000 Something along those lines.
00:35:13.000 So now we can't kill them.
00:35:14.000 Well, they spread out, too.
00:35:15.000 In the 1700s and 1800s, you know, when people first started going through the West, you know, they were around.
00:35:22.000 But then when we started killing them, they spread to the entire country.
00:35:27.000 They're in every single state.
00:35:29.000 So they weren't, like, this way?
00:35:31.000 No, no, no.
00:35:32.000 They weren't everywhere.
00:35:32.000 They were a West animal.
00:35:34.000 They were a Western animal.
00:35:35.000 And then they went...
00:35:35.000 Bro, they're in New York City.
00:35:37.000 Oh shit, for real?
00:35:39.000 Yes, for real.
00:35:40.000 There's coyotes in New York City.
00:35:44.000 They have little packs of them running around Times Square.
00:35:47.000 Get out of here, bro.
00:35:49.000 Dude!
00:35:49.000 For real?
00:35:50.000 Dude!
00:35:51.000 There's little coyotes that are wandering through Central Park.
00:35:55.000 Listen, I get that there's mountain lions in Griffith Park.
00:35:59.000 I get that there's urban coyotes.
00:36:01.000 But New York City?
00:36:02.000 I might have made up the Times Square part.
00:36:04.000 But that's bananas.
00:36:05.000 They're deaf in New York.
00:36:06.000 I'll check.
00:36:06.000 I know they're in New York because there was...
00:36:08.000 They probably came from upstate.
00:36:09.000 They've seen them in buildings.
00:36:11.000 In buildings?
00:36:12.000 People have seen coyotes in abandoned buildings where they've decided to make a nest in abandoned buildings.
00:36:15.000 They're all over downtown LA. Damn.
00:36:18.000 There's Central Park.
00:36:19.000 Central Park.
00:36:20.000 Bam.
00:36:20.000 Coyote motherfucker.
00:36:21.000 Damn, bro.
00:36:22.000 On the streets.
00:36:23.000 Coyote.
00:36:23.000 Okay.
00:36:24.000 On the street.
00:36:25.000 So I was telling the truth.
00:36:25.000 Yeah, they could go to Times Square easily.
00:36:27.000 Yeah, they're everywhere.
00:36:27.000 I gotta look.
00:36:28.000 I'm almost like a tourist coyote.
00:36:31.000 That is a small wolf.
00:36:32.000 That's what that is.
00:36:33.000 And we're infected with them.
00:36:36.000 And here's the thing.
00:36:37.000 This is what you have to be aware of.
00:36:38.000 That's the gentleman that, go back.
00:36:40.000 What is his name?
00:36:41.000 Justin Brown.
00:36:41.000 Yeah, Justin Brown was on the podcast.
00:36:43.000 He tracks coyotes all throughout downtown L.A. He's a wildlife biologist that works for the state.
00:36:49.000 Really interesting, in downtown L.A. So instead of being at a ranch outside of Bakersfield in Tachapi Mountains, this guy is a coyote.
00:36:58.000 Same trap.
00:36:59.000 The same camera trap got that?
00:37:00.000 Yeah.
00:37:01.000 Get a picture of that too, young Jamie.
00:37:03.000 Order that bitch up.
00:37:04.000 Make a note.
00:37:05.000 Yeah, why not, right?
00:37:06.000 We should have a coyote picture too.
00:37:08.000 We can't just have a mountain lion.
00:37:10.000 That's rude.
00:37:11.000 Let's show all the crazy shit that's wandering.
00:37:13.000 See if they got a bear in that camera trap.
00:37:16.000 Yeah, hopefully they got a beer.
00:37:18.000 I like how the coyotes are so used to being around, like the way they walk down the street is just like regular.
00:37:24.000 Yeah.
00:37:25.000 Like no trepidation whatsoever.
00:37:28.000 Look at that, just wandering.
00:37:29.000 Yeah.
00:37:30.000 Yeah, whistling walk.
00:37:32.000 I remember in 1994, the first, it might have been 93, the first time I ever came to L.A. and I was staying at the Oakwood Gardens.
00:37:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:41.000 You know those?
00:37:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:37:43.000 Barham.
00:37:44.000 Yeah, on Barham.
00:37:45.000 They're in Burbank.
00:37:46.000 They're a furnished apartment.
00:37:47.000 It's where you stay when you first come to L.A. You don't have a spot.
00:37:50.000 You don't have enough money to get it up.
00:37:52.000 And you don't know if the show you're on is ever going to go.
00:37:54.000 It's going to last, yeah.
00:37:55.000 So I stayed at these Oakwoods Apartments and I was driving up the street to the apartment and I saw coyotes.
00:37:59.000 I was like, what is this dog doing just wandering around?
00:38:01.000 And I was like, oh shit, those are coyotes?
00:38:04.000 I couldn't believe it.
00:38:06.000 I pulled over and I'm looking out the window.
00:38:08.000 There's three little wolves.
00:38:10.000 Isn't it funny how that moment when something you've never seen before, you see it, and it takes you a second to realize what it is, and then the word for what it is comes to your head right away.
00:38:23.000 Like, you knew it was a coyote, even though you've never really seen a coyote before.
00:38:27.000 I was in denial.
00:38:29.000 Yeah, I was thinking it was a dog.
00:38:31.000 Like it was three dogs.
00:38:33.000 And then I had to pull over and I'm like, I remember people telling me they'd seen coyotes.
00:38:38.000 But I thought it was like I saw a mountain lion.
00:38:40.000 Like if someone says I saw a mountain lion, you're like, holy shit, you did?
00:38:43.000 That's pretty rare.
00:38:44.000 Right.
00:38:45.000 Right?
00:38:46.000 Have you ever seen one?
00:38:46.000 No.
00:38:47.000 I've seen two.
00:38:48.000 Live?
00:38:49.000 Yeah, I've seen two live ones.
00:38:50.000 While you, like, out there?
00:38:52.000 Yeah.
00:38:52.000 And what happened?
00:38:53.000 One of them ate my dog.
00:38:54.000 That was when I lived in Colorado.
00:38:56.000 Yeah.
00:38:57.000 And you was right there?
00:38:58.000 No, no, no.
00:38:59.000 This mountain lion was casing the house, I think.
00:39:01.000 Right.
00:39:02.000 And we saw it in the woods at one point in time.
00:39:05.000 And then another one I saw in Santa Barbara in Montecito.
00:39:09.000 Driving through a neighborhood I saw this animal run across the car in the front of the lights and I saw its tail and I was like, holy shit, that's a cat.
00:39:16.000 I take it back.
00:39:17.000 I have seen some mountain lions.
00:39:19.000 Really?
00:39:19.000 You know Faison Love?
00:39:20.000 Yeah.
00:39:21.000 He moves all over the place.
00:39:22.000 But one time, he lived in San Diego.
00:39:25.000 Me and Hugh Moore went to visit him.
00:39:27.000 And we was at his house hanging out.
00:39:29.000 And at night, he was like, look out the window in his backyard.
00:39:33.000 And there was like mountain lions in his fucking backyard.
00:39:37.000 More than one?
00:39:37.000 Yeah.
00:39:38.000 There was like two or three of them.
00:39:40.000 What?
00:39:40.000 And all I'm thinking is like, how the fuck are we going to get to the car?
00:39:43.000 Oh...
00:39:44.000 Oh my god.
00:39:45.000 And he was so casual about it.
00:39:47.000 And I was like...
00:39:48.000 Wow.
00:39:48.000 Yeah.
00:39:50.000 Yeah, that's time to move, son.
00:39:51.000 Yeah.
00:39:52.000 Jamie, did you ever see that video from Colorado where a guy looked out his window, there was three mountain lions on his driveway.
00:39:59.000 It was like super clear iPhone footage.
00:40:01.000 This guy, or Android phone, I don't know.
00:40:03.000 I don't know what he used.
00:40:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:04.000 Could be.
00:40:05.000 Could be an Android.
00:40:06.000 He was saying this week, and he takes...
00:40:08.000 More shit for using an Android phone than for being a vegan.
00:40:11.000 Yeah, for being a black, vegan, comedian.
00:40:18.000 Yeah, you get more grief for having an Android phone.
00:40:22.000 It's a weird little battle, right?
00:40:24.000 It's like Republican-Democrat type shit.
00:40:26.000 Yeah, it is.
00:40:27.000 It is.
00:40:27.000 People with iPhones really ain't trying to have it.
00:40:30.000 Well, it's not just that.
00:40:31.000 It's like there's teams.
00:40:32.000 It's like the fucking Orioles are playing the Yankees.
00:40:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:35.000 You know?
00:40:36.000 People get on a goddamn team.
00:40:38.000 And the iPhones are the Yankees right now.
00:40:41.000 It's weird, man.
00:40:42.000 The phone thing is a weird thing.
00:40:44.000 It's weird that people are so...
00:40:46.000 They're really, like, so tribal.
00:40:49.000 Right.
00:40:49.000 That they're tribal with their phones.
00:40:51.000 Yeah, they made a tribe out of phones.
00:40:53.000 People can make a tribe out of anything.
00:40:55.000 Hmm.
00:40:56.000 And what's really crazy is the biggest company, the ones that's the most desirable, is a company that also makes computers and they make their own shit.
00:41:06.000 They make their own hardware.
00:41:08.000 That's what's really strange about Apple.
00:41:11.000 Like, they make everything.
00:41:12.000 They make the software.
00:41:14.000 They make the hardware.
00:41:17.000 There's only one.
00:41:18.000 You have different models, but there's only an iPhone.
00:41:21.000 You get an iPhone R, XR, whatever the fuck it is.
00:41:24.000 X, XS, Max.
00:41:26.000 But it's only an iPhone.
00:41:28.000 That's all you get.
00:41:28.000 You don't get anything else.
00:41:31.000 Whereas Android, you got hundreds of brands.
00:41:34.000 Yeah, see?
00:41:35.000 There's so much variety, everybody.
00:41:37.000 Yeah.
00:41:38.000 You can choose from Jamie's right now.
00:41:40.000 But you gotta be able to deal with that green.
00:41:43.000 Yeah.
00:41:44.000 When the green comes in on a text message.
00:41:46.000 People get offended by the green bubble.
00:41:49.000 I have friends that I go, oh, he's one of those who's green.
00:41:53.000 Even smart people.
00:41:54.000 I'm like, look at them with this fucking green.
00:41:56.000 But maybe if they're smart and your bubble comes to green, it means something.
00:42:00.000 They know something.
00:42:01.000 It doesn't look green to them.
00:42:03.000 That's the thing.
00:42:04.000 Messenger's pretty cool looking.
00:42:05.000 Yeah, all my texts is when they come in.
00:42:10.000 Like, they're all...
00:42:11.000 What do they look like?
00:42:13.000 I'm just going to show you.
00:42:14.000 Well, I think mine are.
00:42:17.000 Oh, they're blue.
00:42:18.000 Yeah, blue.
00:42:19.000 So yours come in blue anyway, so it looks blue.
00:42:21.000 What do you have, a Note?
00:42:22.000 Yeah, a Galaxy Note 9. Note 9, yeah.
00:42:25.000 That's the shit.
00:42:26.000 I have one of those.
00:42:27.000 That's my other phone.
00:42:28.000 Yeah, you told me, yeah.
00:42:29.000 That thing is badass.
00:42:30.000 Yeah, it is.
00:42:31.000 It's a beast of a phone.
00:42:32.000 That screen is amazing.
00:42:33.000 Yeah.
00:42:33.000 It's so big, and you get the whole screen.
00:42:37.000 There's no cutout.
00:42:38.000 Yeah, and it goes down the side and shit.
00:42:41.000 But I got it just in case I'm on a flight and I want to watch something on it.
00:42:45.000 Or just somewhere you want to watch something on it, you download it and you have a full screen.
00:42:49.000 Instead of getting an iPad on top of that.
00:42:52.000 Right.
00:42:53.000 Because people have just too much shit.
00:42:54.000 Do you ever use the pen though?
00:42:56.000 That pen is useless to me.
00:42:57.000 Yeah, I just like signed a document today.
00:43:00.000 Really?
00:43:01.000 Yeah, like Chandra needed a W-9 signed, a W-9 form for me, and I just like downloaded it, signed it, and then emailed it back.
00:43:10.000 Wow.
00:43:10.000 Yeah.
00:43:11.000 I've never used it.
00:43:12.000 Yeah.
00:43:12.000 Maybe it's just me.
00:43:13.000 I draw dicks on people's heads.
00:43:15.000 Yeah.
00:43:16.000 That's a perfect use for it.
00:43:18.000 But I also feel like a rebel when I use my Android phone.
00:43:21.000 I do.
00:43:23.000 That's hilarious.
00:43:24.000 I do.
00:43:24.000 I feel like a rebel.
00:43:25.000 You do.
00:43:26.000 Fuck it.
00:43:26.000 I'm crazy, man.
00:43:27.000 Fucking trans out here.
00:43:29.000 Woo!
00:43:31.000 When do you use your Android?
00:43:33.000 So you have your iPhone.
00:43:35.000 I'm using it more often.
00:43:37.000 I'm transitioning out of one phone number to another, which I have to do often.
00:43:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:43:41.000 So you have two different numbers.
00:43:43.000 I'm getting used to it.
00:43:45.000 I play with it a lot.
00:43:47.000 They've got a new one that's coming out.
00:43:48.000 There's a new one that's coming out that looks amazing.
00:43:50.000 Note 10?
00:43:51.000 Note 10?
00:43:52.000 Yeah, it's coming out in a couple weeks.
00:43:54.000 Yeah, I try to hold on to...
00:43:56.000 I don't try to get every new phone.
00:43:58.000 I try to hold on to it for a minute, so I feel like they didn't rip me off, and then maybe three or two phones later, then I'll get the other one.
00:44:07.000 But if I buy every phone, I feel like...
00:44:10.000 I want to be a rebel within the rebel.
00:44:12.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:44:13.000 I got some old shit.
00:44:14.000 Yeah, I got some old shit.
00:44:16.000 You're not going to get me like in this loop of just buying, buying, buying.
00:44:19.000 Comparison.
00:44:20.000 Yeah.
00:44:20.000 Isn't that a weird thing?
00:44:21.000 Like that phone, they could stop right there.
00:44:24.000 That phone's perfect.
00:44:25.000 Like it does everything.
00:44:26.000 Yeah.
00:44:26.000 What more do I need?
00:44:28.000 Takes pictures, makes videos, get on the internet, ask your questions, gives me answers, send emails.
00:44:34.000 What the fuck else do I need?
00:44:37.000 Don't.
00:44:38.000 You don't.
00:44:38.000 You don't.
00:44:38.000 It does everything, unless they come up with some new shit.
00:44:41.000 But if someone said, hey, Ian, I'll give you a million dollars, but you gotta use that phone only for the rest of your life, would you say yes?
00:44:49.000 This one?
00:44:50.000 Yes.
00:44:51.000 That's crazy, right?
00:44:53.000 Yeah.
00:44:55.000 They'd say, listen, if it breaks, we'll replace it, but that's your phone forever.
00:44:59.000 I know it'll slow down.
00:45:03.000 Well, Apple phones will slow down because they engineered them, and that made me sick.
00:45:07.000 That almost made me stop using Apple stuff.
00:45:09.000 I was like, I can't believe that you guys are attributing this to battery life.
00:45:14.000 That's disingenuous.
00:45:16.000 And then they admitted it, right?
00:45:17.000 Well, they admitted it, but they said they did it so that it would give you more battery life because your battery degrades over time, so they engineered it.
00:45:25.000 That is a convenient thing.
00:45:27.000 They also must have understood that people were going to get frustrated with the fact that it slowed down considerably and it would give them an incentive to buy a new phone.
00:45:34.000 To say that they didn't say that?
00:45:36.000 Like, come on.
00:45:36.000 You guys are so goddamn smart, you make iPhones.
00:45:38.000 Right.
00:45:38.000 They figured out everything.
00:45:39.000 Yeah.
00:45:40.000 But not that.
00:45:41.000 You didn't figure that out?
00:45:41.000 You figured that out on purpose.
00:45:43.000 Yeah.
00:45:44.000 You also are one of the most successful businesses of all time.
00:45:48.000 Apple has billions of dollars cash just sitting there.
00:45:52.000 They have so much money.
00:45:55.000 They got Pablo Escobar buried money.
00:45:58.000 They got so much money.
00:45:59.000 Apple has something like...
00:46:00.000 How many billions of dollars does Apple have?
00:46:04.000 $225 billion.
00:46:05.000 Apple has so much cash that they could probably wipe out half our debt.
00:46:11.000 This is what they could buy right now and still have $25 billion left over.
00:46:15.000 They could buy Nike, Ferrari, Twitter...
00:46:20.000 And the Manchester United franchise.
00:46:22.000 And the Manchester United football team.
00:46:24.000 And still have how much left over?
00:46:26.000 25 billion left.
00:46:27.000 Jesus.
00:46:27.000 I say football for people like yourself that are aficionados.
00:46:30.000 Thank you, sir.
00:46:31.000 I didn't say soccer.
00:46:32.000 I appreciate that.
00:46:33.000 Do they say soccer where you're from, like originally?
00:46:36.000 In England?
00:46:37.000 Yeah.
00:46:37.000 No, not in England.
00:46:38.000 In England it's football.
00:46:39.000 Yeah, only in America they say soccer.
00:46:41.000 But before the...
00:46:44.000 Where did it become football?
00:46:47.000 Was it always football in Europe?
00:46:48.000 It was always football.
00:46:49.000 Why, when it came over here, did it switch over?
00:46:53.000 No idea.
00:46:55.000 Why didn't they come up with another name for football?
00:46:57.000 Because you hardly ever kick a football.
00:46:59.000 I think...
00:47:01.000 I think they were playing football, like the soccer football, and then somebody picked up the ball and started running with it, and they started tackling each other.
00:47:09.000 I heard some story like that.
00:47:11.000 And then they kind of created football, and it evolved from there.
00:47:15.000 But then they never changed the name.
00:47:18.000 Isn't it weird that football is called football when the only person who kicks it is a guy who can't even play the game?
00:47:23.000 It's the least significant person on the team as far as getting pussy when there's a championship.
00:47:29.000 Yes.
00:47:30.000 That is weird.
00:47:32.000 And you're not allowed to hit him, right?
00:47:34.000 Right, and you're not allowed to hit him.
00:47:36.000 That's crazy.
00:47:37.000 You can hit him.
00:47:38.000 It's not while he's in motion of a vulnerable person.
00:47:41.000 They try to be safe.
00:47:42.000 Oh, so you can't hit him while he's kicking?
00:47:44.000 While his leg's up in the area.
00:47:45.000 Oh, that's so ridiculous.
00:47:46.000 What a bitch-ass rule.
00:47:48.000 If you block the ball, then you can hit him.
00:47:51.000 But isn't it crazy that that's football?
00:47:54.000 There's only one time it gets kicked.
00:47:56.000 How is that football?
00:47:58.000 What a silly name.
00:48:00.000 Right?
00:48:01.000 Doesn't make sense.
00:48:02.000 But I'm not mad at it.
00:48:03.000 You know, it's like, fine.
00:48:05.000 It's whatever.
00:48:06.000 Imagine if they called, you know, baseball, what would they call it?
00:48:10.000 Foul?
00:48:12.000 Call it foul.
00:48:13.000 We're playing foul.
00:48:14.000 It's something that happens every now and then in this game.
00:48:16.000 It has nothing to do with running around the bases.
00:48:18.000 It's about touchdowns.
00:48:20.000 You should call it touchdown.
00:48:21.000 We're going to play touchdown.
00:48:22.000 Yeah, because it's just, you know, baseball.
00:48:24.000 It's just like we're trying to get from base to base.
00:48:27.000 Yeah.
00:48:28.000 If they call baseball touchdown.
00:48:29.000 No, if they call football touchdown.
00:48:31.000 Touchdown, yeah.
00:48:32.000 Call it the NTL, National Touchdown League.
00:48:33.000 We're going to play touchdown.
00:48:36.000 That's the game.
00:48:36.000 It's not football.
00:48:37.000 Your foot doesn't have shit to do with it except running.
00:48:39.000 I'm looking through an explanation of why we call it soccer and it's more confusing than we care to go through.
00:48:46.000 When you go back to England, if you're from England and you're talking about it, do people, do they resent the term soccer?
00:48:52.000 Like, how does that work?
00:48:53.000 Some people do.
00:48:54.000 Like, I used to resent the term soccer.
00:48:56.000 Really?
00:48:56.000 Yeah.
00:48:56.000 But I live here, and it's like, get over it.
00:48:59.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:49:00.000 As a person, I got to get over it.
00:49:02.000 Because it was my favorite sport growing up.
00:49:04.000 Yeah.
00:49:04.000 So I just got over it.
00:49:06.000 And then now I even call it soccer.
00:49:08.000 My podcast says soccer.
00:49:09.000 I don't even say football.
00:49:10.000 But when I go to England, or just when I'm around football, soccer people, I say football.
00:49:17.000 Yeah.
00:49:17.000 I get it.
00:49:18.000 Yeah.
00:49:18.000 It's like if I was talking to someone, they wanted to talk about pool, but they wanted to call it bumper pool.
00:49:23.000 Oh, okay.
00:49:25.000 That pisses you off.
00:49:27.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:27.000 Like the Women's World Cup.
00:49:29.000 They won the World Cup, and the United States did for soccer.
00:49:33.000 But it's not, you know, it's football to people like yourself.
00:49:37.000 It's the World Cup.
00:49:38.000 Like, how can they call the World Cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of fucks about the sport?
00:49:44.000 Right.
00:49:44.000 Isn't that weird?
00:49:45.000 Yeah, that is weird.
00:49:46.000 That's the power of America.
00:49:47.000 That's crazy.
00:49:48.000 If you really stop and think about it, we made them change the name of their thing.
00:49:52.000 We're not going to get in there.
00:49:53.000 We'll call it soccer!
00:49:55.000 We're a part of it, but we're calling it this.
00:49:57.000 Do they call it football in Argentina?
00:50:00.000 Yeah.
00:50:01.000 Everywhere?
00:50:02.000 Football.
00:50:03.000 But it's football.
00:50:04.000 Just their pronunciation and spelling of it.
00:50:06.000 But then Australia, they're the rebels of the rebels.
00:50:08.000 They have their own rules.
00:50:10.000 They have Australian rules football.
00:50:13.000 They changed the rules for more ruggedness.
00:50:17.000 You know what it was over there?
00:50:19.000 They were too used to rugby, like those New Zealand savages.
00:50:23.000 They're fucking savage.
00:50:25.000 You can't play that bitch-ass game with a helmet.
00:50:27.000 These guys are running around biting each other in the dick in the scrums.
00:50:32.000 That's the most rugged game.
00:50:34.000 Anything to win.
00:50:35.000 That's the game they should play in America.
00:50:37.000 All the CTE problems they're having, you'd have a little bit of that with anything contact sports.
00:50:41.000 You're going to get injuries.
00:50:42.000 But I think you'd have less with no gear.
00:50:45.000 So, both those things confuse me.
00:50:48.000 I don't know the difference between rugby and Australian rules football.
00:50:52.000 And I think in Australia, they play both.
00:50:56.000 I'd be just confused.
00:50:58.000 Like, what is the difference?
00:50:59.000 Well, the ball's different, right?
00:51:01.000 They both seem like...
00:51:03.000 What's a rugby ball look like?
00:51:05.000 They literally look about the same.
00:51:06.000 Is it no different?
00:51:08.000 There is slight differences, but they look about the same.
00:51:10.000 It's like a football with more rounded edges, and it's a little more plump.
00:51:13.000 As far as I know, they could be playing with a round ball.
00:51:15.000 I literally don't even know.
00:51:17.000 I have no idea what a rugby ball is.
00:51:19.000 It kind of looks like an American...
00:51:20.000 Oh, that's it?
00:51:21.000 It's a cross between a basketball and a football.
00:51:23.000 Yeah, it's like a fat football.
00:51:25.000 Yeah.
00:51:26.000 So that's an Australian-used football, though.
00:51:28.000 It's similar to a rugby ball.
00:51:30.000 Okay, so that's not a rugby ball, but it's close.
00:51:33.000 So there's probably like football, Australian rules football, and then rugby ball, right?
00:51:39.000 What is the rules?
00:51:40.000 What can they do?
00:51:41.000 Yeah, what are they doing different?
00:51:43.000 It's also sometimes referred to in the media as the round ball game.
00:51:48.000 What?
00:51:49.000 The world game and international football.
00:51:51.000 Australian football referred to as Australian football.
00:51:55.000 I think it's a little more like fluid.
00:51:58.000 The game doesn't stop as much.
00:51:59.000 There's less stoppages.
00:52:00.000 They kind of just keep going.
00:52:02.000 Okay, it says it's a little more fluid where players can pretty much run around where they choose.
00:52:06.000 They still have a specific end side goal to score, but it's more open in between.
00:52:11.000 Another main difference is that the game is played in 20 minute quarters, not halves.
00:52:17.000 Hmm.
00:52:17.000 I told you a couple of while ago, they're adding three versus three basketball to the Olympics coming up, and the way that that game is played is so different than traditional basketball.
00:52:25.000 It's just a running clock.
00:52:27.000 Once you score, you just take it out, throw it back, run across the line, go score again.
00:52:30.000 It's a very fast-paced game.
00:52:32.000 So they're bringing like park ball to the Olympics?
00:52:34.000 I think so.
00:52:36.000 Apparently, it's very popular in Europe.
00:52:37.000 It's not like that big three basketball that sort of started here.
00:52:40.000 It's not that same basketball, but...
00:52:42.000 It's popular, I guess.
00:52:43.000 When Will Harris was in here, Will Harris has this show called Anatomy of a Fighter.
00:52:48.000 He's a videographer.
00:52:50.000 And he went to Dagestan to watch Khabib Nurmagomedov, who's the UFC lightweight champion, who's a fucking animal, man.
00:52:57.000 He's one of the rare, undefeated, top-of-the-food-chain fighters in MMA. They play a game of basketball in Dagestan where they don't dribble the ball at all.
00:53:07.000 They just, like, wrestle each other to the ground.
00:53:09.000 And they even choke each other and get each other in arm bars and shit.
00:53:12.000 So they're just practicing jujitsu.
00:53:16.000 Yeah, well look, they don't dribble at all.
00:53:18.000 They're basically playing like a football type, but they're shooting at the basketball hoop.
00:53:24.000 But they throw each other to the ground, and Khabib will fucking hip toss dudes, because they have it right next to the wrestling mats.
00:53:30.000 Uh-huh.
00:53:32.000 Part of what they filmed was he was in a wrestling match with this dude when they were trying to take a player out.
00:53:38.000 So he grabs a hold of this dude, and when he grabs a hold of this dude, he drags him to the ground and gets him in a back, gets him in an arm bar, gets him in a rear naked choke.
00:53:47.000 It's crazy.
00:53:47.000 He makes the guy tap, and then he doesn't let him up.
00:53:49.000 Like, here it goes.
00:53:50.000 Look, look.
00:53:51.000 He grabs them.
00:53:52.000 They're allowed to do this.
00:53:54.000 The guy slips through.
00:53:56.000 They're grappling.
00:53:57.000 First of all, they're grappling on the fucking hardwood floor.
00:54:00.000 Full blast grappling.
00:54:01.000 And then he takes them to the ground.
00:54:03.000 This is serious.
00:54:03.000 This isn't playing around.
00:54:05.000 He takes the dudes back.
00:54:06.000 Now they're on the floor again.
00:54:07.000 They're on the hardwood floor.
00:54:08.000 And he's fucking choking him out.
00:54:10.000 He just Conor McGregor'd him.
00:54:11.000 And then they keep going, and as they keep going, he's getting the guy in an armbar later.
00:54:16.000 This is...
00:54:16.000 Like, look at this.
00:54:18.000 Look at this.
00:54:19.000 Oh, shit.
00:54:19.000 This is basketball for white dudes that can't dribble.
00:54:22.000 That's all this is.
00:54:23.000 Just like, how do we...
00:54:26.000 I don't know, man.
00:54:27.000 I think this is the most effective way to use wrestling with basketball.
00:54:30.000 I think they just wanted to make something that's like a really hard workout that's very competitive.
00:54:37.000 I don't know if other people are doing this in Europe or if this is just something that Dagestan figured out.
00:54:43.000 But look, these are some of the most savage fighters in the UFC. It does look fun.
00:54:48.000 It looks fun as far.
00:54:50.000 Unless you get Khabib on your back.
00:54:51.000 They just don't have access to a very good basketball and pump to keep it pumped up and their floor is probably not good to be dribbled on so they just figured out a better game to play instead of dealing with that fucked up ball in court.
00:55:01.000 But that's a ridiculous way Jamie, these are world-class fighters.
00:55:04.000 They travel all over the world.
00:55:05.000 They have all sorts of gym equipment.
00:55:06.000 They have mats.
00:55:07.000 They have weights.
00:55:08.000 They have everything.
00:55:09.000 That ball's missing skin on it.
00:55:10.000 That's a shitty basketball.
00:55:11.000 I've played with lots of basketballs in my life.
00:55:13.000 You would never even try to dribble that.
00:55:14.000 It's like American football slash jujitsu slash basketball.
00:55:21.000 If you have a dead spot on a court, you almost don't even want to play on it.
00:55:24.000 But dude, they could get another ball.
00:55:25.000 They all have brand new sneakers on and leggings and shit.
00:55:28.000 I mean, it's not like Dak stands in the middle of nowhere.
00:55:31.000 They get goods there.
00:55:32.000 They could, but they might just like this game better.
00:55:34.000 They're just like, fuck it, we're playing this because we're all better at this.
00:55:36.000 That, I think, I think it helps them.
00:55:38.000 I'm saying that your leg made you go one-on-one with the basket.
00:55:42.000 Maybe I did not understand the rules.
00:55:43.000 They make them up.
00:55:44.000 But you said it was like I was swearing for no reason.
00:55:47.000 Oh, they're like, they're talking out a dispute.
00:55:51.000 How do you argue with Khabib?
00:55:52.000 You can!
00:55:53.000 That's the top dog.
00:55:55.000 That's the beast of the fucking crew.
00:55:57.000 But yeah, it's weird what people get really into.
00:56:02.000 Like cricket.
00:56:03.000 Cricket is one that the Europeans brought over to India, right?
00:56:07.000 They brought it to the West Indies.
00:56:08.000 They brought it to any country that they colonize.
00:56:11.000 And all those countries love it and they play it.
00:56:13.000 Oh, so it's a colonization game.
00:56:16.000 Yeah.
00:56:16.000 And then now they have like, almost like the equivalent of like World Cups of Cricket in all the countries.
00:56:22.000 Australia is a big cricket country because they, you know, it's a big thing.
00:56:27.000 The West Indies and everything.
00:56:29.000 Strange looking game too, right?
00:56:31.000 It's just boring.
00:56:32.000 Takes days to play sometimes.
00:56:36.000 Days?
00:56:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:38.000 For a week, I think, sometimes.
00:56:40.000 For one game?
00:56:42.000 How many hours a day?
00:56:43.000 Too many.
00:56:45.000 It's just too many, man.
00:56:47.000 It used to kill me.
00:56:49.000 It was fun to play in the backyard because you can just get some sticks and stick them in the ground and then put one across the top as a wicket.
00:56:57.000 This is a game I have no idea.
00:56:59.000 I couldn't even draw you a picture of what the stick looks like.
00:57:04.000 It's just three sticks.
00:57:06.000 Three sticks?
00:57:06.000 Like three sticks and then you put like one on top across all of them.
00:57:10.000 So then you're out when the guy who's pitching or bowling and you swing or if you don't swing and it hits the wicket.
00:57:21.000 We're good to go.
00:57:39.000 That just adds to the score.
00:57:54.000 It's funny that you've never seen cricket.
00:57:55.000 No, no chance.
00:57:57.000 I don't know.
00:57:58.000 See, I'm already stunned by their outfits.
00:58:01.000 So this guy doesn't have nothing on.
00:58:03.000 Some dudes are covered up in gear.
00:58:05.000 Those are the guys with the helmets.
00:58:07.000 Because the ball is hard as fuck.
00:58:08.000 I got hit by a cricket ball by the strongest kid in school one time.
00:58:13.000 And I was like, I'm done.
00:58:14.000 The way they throw it is so weird.
00:58:18.000 The guys in the outfield don't have anything because they just catch the ball barehanded, right?
00:58:21.000 Yeah, barehanded, yeah.
00:58:22.000 And I feel like they should have mitts.
00:58:24.000 Look how he throws it.
00:58:25.000 He runs at you.
00:58:28.000 He runs and literally tries to hit you with the ball.
00:58:32.000 That's crazy.
00:58:33.000 And does it have to hit the ground first?
00:58:35.000 Is that the deal?
00:58:36.000 Yeah.
00:58:37.000 I think, yeah, it does.
00:58:38.000 It does, from what I remember.
00:58:39.000 Because it seems like it.
00:58:40.000 But the dude, like, runs across the line.
00:58:43.000 This is a bullshit game.
00:58:44.000 Yeah.
00:58:45.000 It's a 100% bullshit game.
00:58:49.000 I'm not a big fan of baseball.
00:58:51.000 Me neither.
00:58:52.000 I think it's kind of boring.
00:58:53.000 Yeah.
00:58:54.000 My wrestling coach used to say, it's not a sport, it's a skills game.
00:58:58.000 It's a skills game.
00:58:59.000 It's not a sport.
00:58:59.000 You ever see a baseball player so fucking tired he had to push himself?
00:59:02.000 I had to push himself.
00:59:04.000 Coach Murphy.
00:59:05.000 Wrestling coach in high school.
00:59:06.000 Also the same guy tried to get me to play football when I weighed 135 pounds.
00:59:10.000 Oh, right.
00:59:10.000 Crazy asshole.
00:59:11.000 Yeah.
00:59:12.000 Maybe he saw some natural athlete shit in you.
00:59:14.000 No, I just thought I was mean.
00:59:16.000 If I was mean, I'd be good.
00:59:18.000 If I was mean when I was a wrestler, I'd be good.
00:59:21.000 You'd put him in a great safety, probably, just fucking people up.
00:59:23.000 I would get crippled.
00:59:25.000 That's what would have happened.
00:59:26.000 We had a dude on our team.
00:59:27.000 His name was Bob Baker.
00:59:28.000 He weighed a good, solid 300 pounds.
00:59:31.000 Oh, for real?
00:59:32.000 He was so big.
00:59:32.000 Maybe not.
00:59:33.000 Maybe I'm exaggerating, but he was 250. He was our heavyweight.
00:59:35.000 And I was like, how is he and me?
00:59:38.000 How are we going to play the same game where he could just run me over?
00:59:41.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:59:41.000 What did he want you to play?
00:59:43.000 I don't know.
00:59:43.000 It didn't get that far.
00:59:45.000 I'm like, you're crazy.
00:59:45.000 I was already fighting, too.
00:59:47.000 I was doing martial arts and wrestling at the same time.
00:59:49.000 I'm like, look, man, I'm not doing that.
00:59:51.000 I'm already doing shit that freaks me out.
00:59:53.000 Physical shit.
00:59:54.000 And scares the shit out of me all the time.
00:59:56.000 I don't want to get scared by even bigger people.
00:59:58.000 At least martial arts and wrestling was confined to your own weight class.
01:00:02.000 If I had to wrestle some badass dude, at least it was my own weight class.
01:00:08.000 Yeah, this is like the weight scale is all over the place on a football field.
01:00:12.000 Yeah, man.
01:00:13.000 It's all over the place.
01:00:14.000 And the athleticism's all over the place, too.
01:00:17.000 You get a guy like Herschel Walker, and if you're in high school, and there's a Herschel Walker in high school, and he's on some team that you're opposing, good luck, fuckface.
01:00:27.000 There's people that are just superior.
01:00:31.000 Just superior.
01:00:32.000 There's not a damn thing you can do about it.
01:00:35.000 There are people like that in martial arts, like when you're all wrestling.
01:00:39.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:40.000 Yeah.
01:00:40.000 There's things like that.
01:00:41.000 And outliers.
01:00:42.000 You know, there's outliers in all sports.
01:00:44.000 And a lot of it has to do, you know, with what you did growing up.
01:00:48.000 Sometimes people do things growing up like a lot of wrestlers.
01:00:52.000 Turns out, like, working on farms as a kid is a great way for wrestlers to be super strong.
01:00:59.000 You know who make good wrestlers?
01:01:01.000 Cowboys.
01:01:02.000 Yeah.
01:01:02.000 Oh, yeah!
01:01:02.000 Because they, you know, they steer, get the cow.
01:01:06.000 Yeah, they gotta get ahold of that fucking cow and drag it to the ground.
01:01:08.000 They do it all the time.
01:01:09.000 They practice on them.
01:01:10.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:01:11.000 Well, also, they're tough.
01:01:12.000 Yeah.
01:01:12.000 Because you're gonna get banged up a lot.
01:01:14.000 And a lot of it is, like, mental toughness.
01:01:17.000 Yeah.
01:01:17.000 You know, but people who have to...
01:01:19.000 There's a dude, Matt Hughes.
01:01:20.000 He was one of the greatest welterweights of all time.
01:01:23.000 And he was ungodly strong.
01:01:25.000 This dude from Illinois.
01:01:26.000 But he grew up on a farm.
01:01:27.000 He grew up on a farm wrestling animals.
01:01:29.000 I was at a party one time, right?
01:01:31.000 I was at a party one time, and he was thrown by these rappers.
01:01:34.000 I used to write on this show, Lyricist Lounge.
01:01:36.000 So one of the rappers, Master Fool, dude from Brooklyn, Was friends with these cowboys.
01:01:41.000 That's a great name, Master Fool.
01:01:42.000 Master Fool.
01:01:43.000 He was dope too.
01:01:44.000 He's like the flavor of the rappers for that group.
01:01:49.000 And he just talks to everybody.
01:01:51.000 So he became friends with these cowboys.
01:01:53.000 They came to visit LA for a week and live in the house with the rappers.
01:01:57.000 And they were real cowboys.
01:01:59.000 They have their lassoes out on the set and shit like that.
01:02:02.000 So then at the party...
01:02:06.000 This black dude with dreads got into an argument with one of the cowboys.
01:02:10.000 They were like, we're not going to fight in the house.
01:02:11.000 So everybody walks around the corner to the street.
01:02:14.000 And in five seconds, that cowboy had the black dude with dreads tied up with his pants.
01:02:23.000 Just twisted tied his body.
01:02:27.000 Right?
01:02:28.000 And had him on the ground bleeding.
01:02:30.000 Jesus.
01:02:31.000 And then they was like, alright, let him up and let's start again.
01:02:33.000 And he got up and he just did it to the black dude again.
01:02:36.000 And I was like, I'll never fuck with a cowboy.
01:02:38.000 If a cowboy is a wrestler, if he knows how to wrestle too, both of those things, wrestlers are so goddamn strong, you don't realize until they grab you.
01:02:47.000 You realize how helpless you are.
01:02:50.000 It's a weird feeling.
01:02:51.000 And even if you can wrestle, I wasn't a good wrestler in high school, but I made it to the States And I remember when I was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends with, because he used to come to Nautilus Plus, which is a place where I was teaching Taekwondo.
01:03:08.000 And we ran into each other when we were both like...
01:03:12.000 20?
01:03:12.000 Like probably 20 or something like that.
01:03:14.000 It was really cool.
01:03:14.000 He was a really nice guy.
01:03:16.000 His name is Murphy, too.
01:03:17.000 I don't remember his first name.
01:03:18.000 That might have been his first name.
01:03:20.000 A lot of Irish people named Murphy.
01:03:22.000 It's like the most common name amongst Irish people, probably.
01:03:26.000 But I was like doing pretty good in like regional shit, but this guy got a hold of me and I was like, fuck.
01:03:32.000 It just made me realize like this is another level of wrestling.
01:03:35.000 He had been wrestling all of his life.
01:03:37.000 I'd only been doing it for a year.
01:03:38.000 He just ragdolling me around.
01:03:40.000 I was like, fuck.
01:03:41.000 Damn.
01:03:41.000 And he wasn't even like a champion.
01:03:44.000 I don't think he won the States.
01:03:45.000 And then whoever did win the States didn't win the Nationals.
01:03:48.000 So it was like there's just like tears to it.
01:03:50.000 Levels and shit.
01:03:50.000 And then like a National High School Champion ain't shit compared to a Division I NCAA All-American college wrestler.
01:03:58.000 Damn.
01:03:58.000 Those college wrestlers are off the chain.
01:04:00.000 And then they ain't shit compared to like Jordan Burroughs.
01:04:04.000 Right.
01:04:04.000 It's not that they're not shit.
01:04:05.000 I should never say that about...
01:04:07.000 I mean, just saying that in comparison because I admire them almost more than any other athlete because there's no professional venue for what they do.
01:04:15.000 One of the more amazing things about wrestling is they go into it knowing...
01:04:19.000 I think?
01:04:34.000 But then when you get to the top of the food chain, like a multiple-time world champion like Jordan Burroughs, he had a wrestling match with Ben Askren, and he just ran him over.
01:04:44.000 Just ran him over.
01:04:45.000 And Ben Askren's one of the best grapplers to ever compete in MMA, and he was also a two-time Olympian.
01:04:50.000 A wrestler.
01:04:51.000 Yes.
01:04:52.000 He ran him over.
01:04:54.000 Damn.
01:04:54.000 And Ben Askren runs most people over when he wrestles with them.
01:04:57.000 Yeah.
01:04:58.000 Levels!
01:04:59.000 Levels.
01:05:00.000 Levels.
01:05:01.000 It never ends.
01:05:02.000 Speaking of Askren, is he awake yet?
01:05:04.000 He's awake.
01:05:05.000 How's he doing?
01:05:06.000 He handled it like a champion.
01:05:08.000 Oh, good.
01:05:09.000 Yeah, he went on Ariel Helwani's show and talked about it and said, yeah, it sucks.
01:05:14.000 The guy's a douchebag.
01:05:16.000 It sucks losing to him.
01:05:19.000 You know, I don't like him.
01:05:20.000 He said, you know, he just, what can he do?
01:05:24.000 He's not going to read the comments.
01:05:26.000 He's a smart guy.
01:05:27.000 He's a very smart guy.
01:05:28.000 But he took it like a man.
01:05:30.000 To be able to go and do an interview right after you get knocked out like that is very admirable.
01:05:35.000 But that's who he is.
01:05:36.000 That's how you get to be a guy who's as good a wrestler as a guy like Ben Askren.
01:05:40.000 You can handle a loss like that.
01:05:42.000 What do you think of the...
01:05:43.000 I forgot.
01:05:43.000 I can't pronounce the guy's name who beat him.
01:05:46.000 Jorge Masvidal.
01:05:48.000 Masvidal.
01:05:48.000 What he said after the fight.
01:05:50.000 He said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods.
01:05:52.000 Yeah, I think it's just a little too much.
01:05:55.000 You won.
01:05:57.000 But I don't know their history.
01:06:00.000 The history is rough.
01:06:01.000 Excuse me.
01:06:02.000 It's like 10 years of them giving him a hard time.
01:06:07.000 Ben Askren giving Masvidal a hard time, according to Masvidal.
01:06:11.000 A lot of talking shit.
01:06:12.000 Which some people think is friendly and Masvidal.
01:06:15.000 Street Jesus doesn't fuck around.
01:06:17.000 You want to talk shit to Street Jesus?
01:06:21.000 He will fucking make fun of you after he flatlines you.
01:06:23.000 And that's what he did.
01:06:24.000 He flatlined him in five seconds, made him the fastest ever KO in UFC history, and then mocked him afterwards and said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods.
01:06:33.000 But see, we're talking about it.
01:06:35.000 So Masvidal is smart.
01:06:36.000 This is an amazing marketing ploy.
01:06:41.000 He's become, in one fight, the most talked about fighter in the sport.
01:06:46.000 Because he did something in the sport that's been around for a little bit that nobody's ever done before.
01:06:51.000 Yeah.
01:06:51.000 Ben Askren was undefeated.
01:06:52.000 Yeah.
01:06:53.000 Undefeated.
01:06:54.000 And Masvidal comes out, flatlines like that, and talks some pretty vicious shit after the fact.
01:06:59.000 And even mimicked him laying on the floor, which would look scary the way he was out.
01:07:04.000 Yeah.
01:07:07.000 Masvidal calls out, easy Conor McGregor.
01:07:10.000 I want to break his face.
01:07:12.000 Yeah, that's a rough fight.
01:07:15.000 That's a rough fight for Conor.
01:07:17.000 Masvidal is a big fellow, too.
01:07:19.000 He really belongs at 170. That's where he's fighting.
01:07:22.000 He fought at 155, but really tortured himself to make that weight.
01:07:26.000 He's a big guy.
01:07:27.000 You're talking about a guy who knocked out Cowboy Cerrone, knocked out Darren Till, knocked out Ben Askren.
01:07:33.000 I mean, he's knocking out big welterweights.
01:07:38.000 Big welterweights.
01:07:39.000 Darren Till's a big welterweight.
01:07:41.000 He's big.
01:07:42.000 He's not a guy coming up from 155 pounds.
01:07:45.000 He's never making 155 pounds.
01:07:47.000 What's Khabib's weight?
01:07:47.000 55. 155, sorry.
01:07:49.000 Yeah, so he's one weight class heavier, and he's really running into the last few fights.
01:07:56.000 He's coming into his own.
01:07:57.000 He's really becoming something special.
01:07:59.000 He had a real close decision loss to Wonderboy.
01:08:05.000 I wish I could remember how that fight went down.
01:08:07.000 I just think it was a decision.
01:08:09.000 I don't know if it was a split decision or unanimous decision, but I think it was just Wonderboy outpointed him.
01:08:14.000 I don't think there was any knockdowns or anything.
01:08:16.000 That was Masvidal?
01:08:17.000 Yeah, that was Masvidal.
01:08:18.000 But Wonderboy is a particularly difficult guy to fight, and especially for three rounds.
01:08:24.000 Pettis recently knocked him out, but Pettis just hit him with a perfect punch, and that can happen to anybody, and Pettis timed it, and Pettis is a beast.
01:08:31.000 Pettis is wild.
01:08:32.000 Yeah, he's a wild man.
01:08:34.000 He's a fantastic fighter.
01:08:35.000 Losing to him is like, yeah, you lost to one of the best fighters ever.
01:08:39.000 And he also, he's a guy who dropped Tony Ferguson.
01:08:42.000 I mean, Pettis knocked out Cowboy Cerrone.
01:08:44.000 Pettis knocked out Joe Lozon with his crazy head kick.
01:08:46.000 Pettis is a monster.
01:08:48.000 Pettis is like...
01:08:48.000 He'll win one and then lose one.
01:08:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:08:51.000 Well, it's a crazy division, man.
01:08:53.000 It's filled with murderers.
01:08:55.000 Just murder after murder.
01:08:56.000 Both divisions.
01:08:56.000 55 and 70. And I think Pettis is probably going to do real good at 70 because he's healthier.
01:09:02.000 You know, I think he went down to 145 and it almost killed him.
01:09:05.000 It was just too much, man.
01:09:07.000 He had nothing in the tank.
01:09:08.000 And then Max Holloway beat him up.
01:09:10.000 He lost to...
01:09:11.000 I think he lost to Charles Oliveira.
01:09:15.000 I think so.
01:09:16.000 I might be wrong.
01:09:17.000 He might have caught Charles Oliveira.
01:09:20.000 Hmm, I don't know.
01:09:22.000 Pettis has the most legit crazy look in his eye that I've ever seen.
01:09:27.000 Pettis won, right?
01:09:28.000 He choked him, right?
01:09:29.000 That's right, that's right.
01:09:30.000 I'm confused.
01:09:31.000 He lost to someone else at 145. Who else did he lose to at 145?
01:09:34.000 Max, Barboza.
01:09:37.000 Oh, Barboza was 55. Poirier.
01:09:39.000 Dustin Poirier?
01:09:40.000 I don't think that was 55. And he lost to Tony.
01:09:43.000 Maybe that was 45?
01:09:44.000 Wikipedia doesn't say what weight class they're fighting in.
01:09:47.000 He lost to Tony, right?
01:09:48.000 Yes, he lost to Tony.
01:09:49.000 He broke his hand in the fight, but it was a great fight.
01:09:52.000 That was a great fight.
01:09:53.000 He wound up dropping him.
01:09:54.000 Oh, okay.
01:09:55.000 So, Edson Barboza and then Oliveira, I think that was 55. I think Max Holloway was 45. I don't know, man.
01:10:04.000 I'm not sure, though.
01:10:05.000 And then he went back up to 55. The Dustin Poirier fight, that was...
01:10:10.000 That was he got injured.
01:10:12.000 And that was at 55. That was a catch weight.
01:10:15.000 They fought.
01:10:15.000 He was at 148 for Max.
01:10:16.000 He missed the weight.
01:10:17.000 Oh, he missed the fight with Max.
01:10:19.000 Yeah.
01:10:19.000 So he's trying to get down to 45. So featherweight debut was against Oliveira.
01:10:24.000 So he submitted Oliveira in his featherweight debut.
01:10:29.000 Yeah.
01:10:30.000 So he had two fights at that weight, and that weight was torturous for him.
01:10:33.000 He didn't make it for the Max Holloway fight.
01:10:36.000 And then Jim Miller's definitely a 55-pound fight, and all the other ones are 55, until he got to Stephen Thompson, and that was the last one.
01:10:44.000 Wonder Boy, that was at ultraweight.
01:10:48.000 That was an amazing fight.
01:10:50.000 I mean, I think sometimes these guys, it's just too much, man.
01:10:53.000 It's just too much.
01:10:55.000 He beat Michael Chiesa.
01:10:56.000 It says he beat Chiesa.
01:10:58.000 And Chiesa's another one.
01:10:59.000 He was fighting at 55 and now he moved up to 70. Yeah, that ended up being a catchweight fight.
01:11:04.000 Chiesa missed.
01:11:04.000 These fucking guys, man.
01:11:06.000 They're killing themselves with that weight cutting.
01:11:08.000 Oh, right.
01:11:08.000 Imagine if that was the case with soccer.
01:11:11.000 Before a soccer game, you had a certain amount of guaranteed weight on the field.
01:11:16.000 Imagine, Ian, whatever position it is, you have to cut down to 130 pounds.
01:11:22.000 You'd be like, fuck!
01:11:23.000 So you had to drain your body in a sauna, and then everybody weighs, and then everybody rehydrates, and then the next day you play this grueling-ass game.
01:11:31.000 That would be ridiculous, right?
01:11:32.000 And fighting is the most tiring thing.
01:11:35.000 It would totally compromise the game, wouldn't it?
01:11:37.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:11:37.000 Imagine football players had to do that.
01:11:39.000 Imagine football players only had like, okay guys, whatever the team is, it has to weigh 4,000 pounds.
01:11:45.000 That's it.
01:11:46.000 No more.
01:11:47.000 And so you have to decide, hey, Bob can't cut lower than 260. We checked his body fat.
01:11:52.000 Joe, you're going to have to get down to 180. Jamie?
01:11:54.000 When we were kids playing football, we had to weigh in, and that sort of happened.
01:11:57.000 Really?
01:11:58.000 Yeah, because if you were a certain weight, you had to have stripes on your helmet, and it means you could only play on the line.
01:12:03.000 You couldn't be carrying the ball because no kids could tackle you.
01:12:06.000 You'd fuck them all up.
01:12:07.000 So there was definitely a limit.
01:12:09.000 I remember I did have to...
01:12:10.000 Wear the trash bag and cut five pounds.
01:12:13.000 I don't fucking know how much I weighed, but it was so I could be a tight end and catch the ball because I was on the border.
01:12:18.000 Dude, that was so bad for kids.
01:12:21.000 I had a friend in high school, my friend Steven.
01:12:24.000 All of his brother's like 6'1", 6'2".
01:12:27.000 He's like 5'6".
01:12:28.000 He never grew.
01:12:30.000 And it was because all throughout high school and junior high school he was cutting weight in wrestling.
01:12:34.000 I guarantee you it had something to do with it.
01:12:36.000 Everyone else's family is tall.
01:12:40.000 And he was always tired.
01:12:41.000 Or his dad is not.
01:12:42.000 He's a real dad.
01:12:43.000 No, his brothers look just like him.
01:12:45.000 He was always tired.
01:12:47.000 He'd be walking around the hallways like this.
01:12:49.000 Because he would do wrestling camps.
01:12:51.000 He would do the whole thing.
01:12:52.000 So he's always wrestling.
01:12:53.000 He was always exhausted.
01:12:56.000 Always.
01:12:56.000 It's a terrible thing for kids.
01:12:58.000 The fact they still have kids do that is fucking madness.
01:13:01.000 It's madness.
01:13:02.000 People didn't know any better.
01:13:03.000 My parents didn't even ask me.
01:13:04.000 When I got on the wrestling team, they didn't ask me, you're not cutting weight, are you?
01:13:07.000 They didn't even ask me.
01:13:08.000 They had no idea.
01:13:10.000 Did you just listen to the coach?
01:13:11.000 Coach tells you to lose weight, you gotta lose weight.
01:13:14.000 Fuck.
01:13:14.000 It's so bad for the body.
01:13:16.000 It's so bad for your brain, too, because it dehydrates your brain.
01:13:20.000 And then you're in class.
01:13:21.000 You're trying to listen in class.
01:13:24.000 It's worse than being hungover.
01:13:26.000 That's true, because all they tell us to do now is drink water and stay hydrated.
01:13:32.000 And then you're doing something that's like you can't put anything in your system.
01:13:36.000 You're just trying to drain it out.
01:13:38.000 It doesn't affect you mentally.
01:13:39.000 Yeah.
01:13:40.000 When you get dehydrated, your brain works like shit.
01:13:43.000 Right.
01:13:43.000 Like, they say that's one of the things that happens to people in the desert.
01:13:46.000 When they start dying of thirst, they can't think straight.
01:13:49.000 Right.
01:13:50.000 They don't make good decisions.
01:13:52.000 Yeah, I've been fatigued, like, at soccer practice, and you just, like, you'll be wearing an opposing player's shirt, and just from fatigue, I'll just pass it to you.
01:14:03.000 Just to not have to have the responsibility of this ball.
01:14:07.000 Yeah.
01:14:07.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:14:08.000 For real, it's like, fuck it.
01:14:10.000 And I'm trying to make the team at the time, and I'm making just blatant mistakes.
01:14:14.000 I'm just so tired, man.
01:14:16.000 Yeah.
01:14:17.000 Fatigue makes cowards of men.
01:14:18.000 That's Vince Lombardi's line.
01:14:20.000 It did that to me in college.
01:14:23.000 Were you following Adam Greentree at all, his story?
01:14:25.000 Yes.
01:14:25.000 At this point in the video, he said he hadn't had water for like 18 hours, and he's still climbing uphill and needs to find it.
01:14:30.000 Yeah.
01:14:31.000 Great.
01:14:31.000 That's insane.
01:14:32.000 Well, he had to get rescued.
01:14:33.000 I don't know if he broke his arm.
01:14:35.000 I haven't chatted with him, but he thinks he broke his arm too.
01:14:38.000 If you go to my friend Adam Greentree's Instagram, adam.greentree, he documented this hunt that he went in for a thing called a Himalayan tar that lives in New Zealand.
01:14:49.000 And it lives in these alpine mountain areas.
01:14:52.000 I don't know if it's alpine.
01:14:53.000 These mountain, dangerous, slippery mountain areas.
01:14:56.000 And he got stuck out there and he had to get rescued.
01:15:15.000 I don't think he filmed much of it.
01:15:17.000 He filmed some of it but he was having a really hard time and then he had to get rescued and he had to go somewhere where the helicopter could land so they could winch him and carry him up and rescue him and take him to the hospital.
01:15:29.000 Fucking dangerous shit.
01:15:31.000 There's a lot of these guys like Adam who's a good friend of mine who loves to go on these Like vision quest solo adventures.
01:15:40.000 So he'll go to the mountains and camp out by himself for 28 days.
01:15:44.000 And he films it and puts it up on Instagram.
01:15:46.000 Right.
01:15:47.000 Where he's talking to himself and like hunting elk in these like mountain areas and Last year, that's his campsite.
01:15:55.000 Last year he had a one-on-one encounter with a grizzly bear.
01:15:58.000 Oh, shit.
01:15:58.000 And he had a pistol with him.
01:16:00.000 And he's documenting him trying to hold off this mama grizzly who's standing up in the background.
01:16:04.000 She made several charges at him.
01:16:06.000 And he didn't even know that the pistol was jammed.
01:16:08.000 The ammunition was the wrong size.
01:16:10.000 So the lever, like, when you cock it, it couldn't fit another bullet in there.
01:16:15.000 So he had...
01:16:16.000 A dummy gun.
01:16:18.000 He's pointing a gun that's not even real.
01:16:20.000 So if you pull the trigger, nothing would have happened.
01:16:22.000 So then he realized that that was a problem when he, I guess he tried to fire it to make sure it does work or something.
01:16:28.000 So then he had to realize that he could put one bullet in the chamber, but he couldn't reload.
01:16:34.000 He could reload.
01:16:35.000 Like musket style.
01:16:36.000 Yeah.
01:16:36.000 So he had one bullet.
01:16:38.000 Essentially one bullet.
01:16:39.000 He had the wrong ammo for the pistol.
01:16:41.000 And you only get one shot with one of those charges.
01:16:43.000 You don't even get one, man.
01:16:44.000 When they're running at you, you are shitting your pants.
01:16:48.000 You can't believe it.
01:16:49.000 You're going to miss half the bullets.
01:16:51.000 If you have ten bullets, if you hit it once, you're lucky.
01:16:53.000 It's madness.
01:16:55.000 Because you're not going to shoot when it's ten feet away from you.
01:16:57.000 You're going to shoot as it's running towards you.
01:16:59.000 And I don't think you're going to be able to hold that position.
01:17:03.000 It's too crazy.
01:17:04.000 What is the bear doing when it's like making charges at him but not coming at him?
01:17:08.000 Trying to get you to get the fuck away from its babies.
01:17:10.000 Almost always.
01:17:12.000 Almost always.
01:17:13.000 Get the fuck away from my babies.
01:17:14.000 It's almost always a woman.
01:17:15.000 A female bear, rather.
01:17:17.000 Protecting their coats.
01:17:18.000 Yeah.
01:17:19.000 They don't fuck around.
01:17:20.000 Some asshole that might be a hunter.
01:17:22.000 You might be hunting bear.
01:17:23.000 You might want to shoot my baby.
01:17:25.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:17:26.000 They don't know.
01:17:27.000 Yeah.
01:17:27.000 You might just be, you know, they don't think of humans as a good thing.
01:17:30.000 Humans are dangerous.
01:17:32.000 Right.
01:17:32.000 You know?
01:17:33.000 It's not our fucking word.
01:17:34.000 They're predators.
01:17:35.000 Yeah.
01:17:36.000 I'm surprised bears don't attack humans just more often based on that.
01:17:40.000 Like, how do they distinguish who's a hunter and who's not?
01:17:44.000 They don't think of hunters as being something they should attack.
01:17:46.000 They think they should get the fuck out of there.
01:17:48.000 Because when they see guns go off and then a bullet hits a bear right next to them, that bear kind of explodes and screams in agony and falls to the ground.
01:17:57.000 They just want to get the fuck out of there and not have it happen to them.
01:17:59.000 So if they've seen that ever in their life, they've seen a bear get shot, which if you're in places where bears get hunted, it's very likely that they have seen that.
01:18:08.000 They just run away.
01:18:09.000 They smell people, they run.
01:18:10.000 They want to get the fuck out of there.
01:18:11.000 So bears look at humans like predators.
01:18:14.000 Only in places where people hunt bears.
01:18:16.000 The problem is...
01:18:18.000 I think?
01:18:45.000 Right.
01:18:54.000 Right.
01:19:00.000 Right.
01:19:15.000 They have wolves and bears all over the place up there.
01:19:19.000 And the black bears, which you can hunt, those are not even dangerous.
01:19:23.000 I mean, they're dangerous but not dangerous compared to grizzlies.
01:19:26.000 Grizzlies are fucking dangerous.
01:19:27.000 So those are liberals in those cities making those decisions?
01:19:32.000 It could be even conservative people that are animal lovers and just don't understand what a bear is.
01:19:37.000 The idea is that they want to stop trophy hunting because you see Cecil the lion and that kind of shit.
01:19:43.000 It's disgusting.
01:19:44.000 And it is in a lot of ways.
01:19:46.000 Wanting to go and just shoot these things just to stuff them and put them on your walls.
01:19:49.000 There's a lot of weird shit to them.
01:19:51.000 I totally understand your feelings on it.
01:19:53.000 I get it.
01:19:54.000 But the grizzly bear thing is a different thing.
01:19:57.000 Those are the people that were raised on the cartoon and they're like, stop killing these cartoons.
01:20:02.000 Yeah.
01:20:02.000 The cartoon version of the animal that they saw growing up, so they have no idea.
01:20:07.000 Well, even in Africa, the exact area where Cecil the lion was killed, they had to recently kill 200 lions.
01:20:16.000 Because the lions, yeah, because so many lions had survived because there was no hunting there.
01:20:21.000 Because they came back, they came back up.
01:20:22.000 It's so weird.
01:20:24.000 It's not good.
01:20:25.000 It's not ideal.
01:20:26.000 The situation's not ideal because it's so bizarre and twisted.
01:20:31.000 The animals survive because people pay to kill them.
01:20:38.000 Right.
01:20:45.000 Right.
01:20:54.000 That's a lot of the area.
01:20:56.000 So this guy, that Cecil guy, who shot that lion, he paid like $50,000 to go and hunt a lion.
01:21:04.000 And it's probably one a day, two a day, three a day.
01:21:08.000 So there's hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue coming in.
01:21:12.000 This revenue comes in for these guys that want to kill lions and what they do is they use it to raise more lions and they use it to pay professional hunting.
01:21:20.000 These people call professional hunters are basically game wardens to keep out poachers and to make sure that these animals don't get like rhinos don't get their horns chopped off and murdered just for their horns.
01:21:31.000 Elephants for their tusks, things along those lines.
01:21:33.000 So they need to hire people to protect against poaching because Look, in Africa, there's a lot of people that, especially in these areas where they have these hunting areas, these vast rural areas, people are extremely poor.
01:21:45.000 And they want animals just to eat.
01:21:47.000 They're going to call that poaching.
01:21:48.000 So then it gets even squirrely there.
01:21:51.000 It's not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination.
01:21:55.000 But because no hunters are coming in now because of all the bad press after the cease of the lion shed, they had to kill 200 lions instead of murder them.
01:22:04.000 Because that many got born and grew up in...
01:22:07.000 Right.
01:22:45.000 It's perverse.
01:22:47.000 Yeah, that's kind of bananas.
01:22:49.000 Perverse.
01:22:49.000 Yeah.
01:22:50.000 On the other hand, these animals that are in there, particularly like the antelopes and black bucks and Neil guy and all these crazy wild fucking antlered creatures, they're in greater numbers than they've ever been.
01:23:04.000 So it's so twisted.
01:23:06.000 It's like the numbers are so high because people want to come in and pay to hunt them.
01:23:10.000 Right.
01:23:10.000 But then the numbers are high so people can hunt them.
01:23:13.000 It's not like so that they can keep the whole wildlife ecology free and roam and look how vibrant Africa is now that we've stepped in with all these conservation dollars.
01:23:23.000 Not really.
01:23:24.000 No, it's fenced in.
01:23:25.000 And then people drive up to a spot, get out, boom!
01:23:28.000 Take a picture.
01:23:29.000 It's weird.
01:23:30.000 We fuck up everything.
01:23:31.000 Great job.
01:23:32.000 It's weird.
01:23:32.000 Great job, people.
01:23:33.000 Yeah, we're the best.
01:23:34.000 I'm reading an explanation of a person that has gone to this park in Zimbabwe to go see the lions.
01:23:41.000 And they've done this in the past and they went back more recently.
01:23:44.000 And this is hilarious.
01:23:46.000 Read this thing here.
01:23:48.000 Then our host gave us our safety orientation.
01:23:50.000 He told us to speak to the lions in a calm voice, approach slowly, and to pet them on their backs only.
01:23:58.000 Then our host handed out skinny sticks to each of us.
01:24:02.000 He explained that if a lion approached us in a threatening manner, we should swish the stick back and forth in the grass to distract them.
01:24:09.000 What?
01:24:11.000 What?
01:24:11.000 I'm going to have to eat you.
01:24:13.000 There's a...
01:24:13.000 Jesus Christ.
01:24:14.000 It says that they thought they were going to go see, like, child, baby, you know, cubs?
01:24:19.000 In a cage?
01:24:20.000 Yeah, but it's definitely not.
01:24:21.000 They're like 18 months old, almost, you know, a little bit older.
01:24:23.000 Oh, so they're adolescent lions?
01:24:25.000 Yeah, like this big.
01:24:26.000 I saw this video.
01:24:28.000 There's a tribe, I don't know what part of Africa, but if a cheater or a cat hunts down an animal and kills it, these people from this tribe, they track the hunt,
01:24:44.000 and then once the animal or the cat kills...
01:24:48.000 The food, then they'll scare off the cat.
01:24:51.000 I saw that.
01:24:52.000 And take it.
01:24:52.000 The sticks.
01:24:53.000 And they have these little sticks, yeah.
01:24:54.000 And then the fucking cheetahs and whatever run away from them.
01:24:58.000 And I'm like, it's so crazy.
01:25:01.000 I saw that.
01:25:01.000 I watched a video of that on someone's Instagram.
01:25:04.000 Yeah.
01:25:04.000 Well, you gotta do what you gotta do when you're hungry.
01:25:06.000 Yeah.
01:25:07.000 You take a chance.
01:25:08.000 Yeah.
01:25:08.000 I mean, unless they have a really good weapon, it's hard to get an antelope.
01:25:12.000 You gotta get fucking close.
01:25:14.000 Right.
01:25:15.000 But a cheetah can just chase it down.
01:25:19.000 You would think it's just crazy that a human could take a cheater's food.
01:25:24.000 Yeah, it is crazy.
01:25:26.000 Yeah, they do it with lions too.
01:25:27.000 They do it with spears.
01:25:28.000 They run up on lions with spears.
01:25:30.000 I've seen that too.
01:25:31.000 Like female lions just roaring at people while they drag away their food.
01:25:35.000 Just robbing a lion.
01:25:38.000 She goes back to the house and her husband's like, where's the food at?
01:25:42.000 I got robbed.
01:25:43.000 Well, what we do here in cities is so recent and so unnatural.
01:25:48.000 It's not like anything that anybody else has ever done before in terms of like human beings up until about 10,000 years ago.
01:25:55.000 There's never been shit like this.
01:25:58.000 Supermarkets and stuff like that.
01:25:59.000 Yeah, all of it.
01:26:00.000 And no interaction at all with nature.
01:26:02.000 Right.
01:26:02.000 You know, our interaction with nature is reserved to, you know, squirrels, fucking pigeons and shit.
01:26:08.000 Birds.
01:26:09.000 Yeah.
01:26:09.000 Having a dog.
01:26:10.000 Even fucking pigeons are weird.
01:26:12.000 They're brought over here as food.
01:26:14.000 Oh, they were?
01:26:15.000 Yeah, they're everywhere.
01:26:16.000 You could eat pigeons.
01:26:17.000 They're delicious, apparently.
01:26:19.000 I never had one.
01:26:20.000 I don't think a lot of people, like, they just don't look at pigeons as food.
01:26:26.000 No.
01:26:26.000 Yeah.
01:26:27.000 Most people.
01:26:27.000 Yeah.
01:26:28.000 99%, but they have pigeon seasons.
01:26:30.000 Actually, maybe they don't have a season.
01:26:32.000 Pigeons might be like wild pigs, where they're considered an invasive species.
01:26:37.000 Mm-hmm.
01:26:39.000 I think?
01:27:01.000 If someone told me it was chicken, I would believe them.
01:27:04.000 Oh, for real?
01:27:05.000 Yeah.
01:27:05.000 It tastes a lot like that, which is the most cliche shit to say ever.
01:27:09.000 It tastes like chicken.
01:27:10.000 How do you know if you catch a squirrel if it's rabid on that?
01:27:14.000 If you cook it, you don't catch anything, or will you?
01:27:18.000 That's a good question.
01:27:19.000 I don't know the answer to that.
01:27:21.000 Maybe rabies would die at a certain temperature.
01:27:23.000 Squirrels are not, well, ground squirrels.
01:27:26.000 I was going to say squirrels are not omnivores.
01:27:29.000 They're herbivores.
01:27:30.000 But ground squirrels, I'm pretty sure eat meat.
01:27:33.000 Because I've seen videos of ground squirrels eating a mouse.
01:27:37.000 It's fucked up.
01:27:38.000 It seems wrong.
01:27:40.000 Anything eating a mouse is wrong.
01:27:41.000 Like when you feed a mouse to a snake or some shit like that.
01:27:44.000 Well, it's even more wrong because it's holding in its hands.
01:27:47.000 Dogs and cats that are currently vaccinated and kept under observation for 45 days...
01:27:54.000 Oh, can you get rabies from eating squirrel?
01:27:56.000 Small mammals such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, kitty pigs, gerbils, chipmunks, rabbits, and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to cause rabies amongst humans in the United States.
01:28:07.000 Okay.
01:28:07.000 So rats can't give you rabies.
01:28:10.000 That's interesting.
01:28:11.000 Rat eating is about to go up.
01:28:14.000 I saw a video yesterday.
01:28:16.000 You're good, y'all.
01:28:16.000 Biting the head off of a rat.
01:28:18.000 It's fucking nasty.
01:28:19.000 What was biting the head off a rat?
01:28:20.000 A guy.
01:28:20.000 A guy?
01:28:21.000 A man.
01:28:22.000 Where?
01:28:22.000 An Asian man.
01:28:23.000 Chewing the whole fucking thing right off an episode of Fear Factor or something.
01:28:26.000 It was raw?
01:28:27.000 That's funny.
01:28:28.000 I think it was dead.
01:28:29.000 You didn't see it moving before, but it was fucking sick.
01:28:32.000 You and them being able to do Fear Factor in certain countries, they'd be like, where's the fear?
01:28:38.000 Right.
01:28:38.000 They'd be like, where's the...
01:28:39.000 What?
01:28:40.000 We eat that.
01:28:41.000 I got a lot of friends that are Filipino, especially back when I was doing Fear Factor, because I was playing a lot of pool.
01:28:46.000 Some of the best...
01:28:48.000 Pool players are Filipinos.
01:28:49.000 It's huge in pool.
01:28:51.000 With pool, rather.
01:28:52.000 But they were laughing at me because they serve balut.
01:28:56.000 They're like, we love balut.
01:28:58.000 Balut is this weird duck embryo.
01:29:00.000 It's like a delicacy over there.
01:29:01.000 But people on Fear Factor were terrified of it.
01:29:04.000 And these people were like, no, we pay for that.
01:29:06.000 We like it.
01:29:07.000 It's great.
01:29:08.000 Look at those people wasting the balut or whatever it is.
01:29:12.000 They eat the beak and everything, man.
01:29:13.000 Balut is weird.
01:29:15.000 It's an embryo.
01:29:16.000 It's like a little baby duck.
01:29:19.000 It's very strange.
01:29:21.000 I wonder if you'd even be able to do Fear Factor today.
01:29:24.000 I mean, I know Ludacris is still doing it, but they're doing a different kind of version of it, right?
01:29:29.000 Have you watched one of those episodes just to check it out, no?
01:29:32.000 No, that's like watching your ex-girlfriend get banged.
01:29:35.000 Do you really want to see that?
01:29:37.000 Banged badly?
01:29:38.000 Wouldn't you want to watch her get banged badly, see that I was better?
01:29:43.000 It's weird to take over someone's gig, because if someone did it for so long, they had a certain style, how they did it.
01:29:50.000 Please pimp my fear factor.
01:29:54.000 Ludicrous.
01:29:55.000 Right.
01:29:57.000 Who did Pimp My Ride?
01:30:00.000 What's his name?
01:30:01.000 Exhibit.
01:30:02.000 That's right.
01:30:03.000 Yeah.
01:30:04.000 Whatever happened to that dude?
01:30:06.000 I think he's still acting and doing stuff.
01:30:09.000 Yeah, he was the Pimp My Ride guy.
01:30:11.000 Yeah, it was a huge show.
01:30:12.000 How the fuck did that show go away?
01:30:14.000 I know, that feels like I could just keep going.
01:30:17.000 Yeah, it's like one of them pawn shop shows.
01:30:21.000 They never have to end.
01:30:22.000 Yeah.
01:30:22.000 Just keep paawning shit.
01:30:24.000 Yeah.
01:30:24.000 Do it in different countries.
01:30:26.000 Yeah.
01:30:26.000 Yeah.
01:30:27.000 Yeah, why would they end Pimp?
01:30:28.000 Maybe Exhibit was like, done.
01:30:30.000 I can't deal with these people and their cars anymore.
01:30:32.000 Start making all those other shows.
01:30:33.000 There's tons of car shows now on all those other channels.
01:30:35.000 Pimp and shit.
01:30:36.000 Yeah, but that's the best name.
01:30:38.000 Pimp My Ride?
01:30:39.000 That's the best name.
01:30:40.000 Wouldn't you say that's the best name?
01:30:41.000 I think most of those are undrivable.
01:30:43.000 What?
01:30:44.000 Yeah, there's been a lot of Reddit things where people are asking for like, have you ever been on Pimp My Ride?
01:30:49.000 Tell us about your experience or whatever.
01:30:51.000 I'm like, They did so much shit to those cars that would be like, hey, by the way, when this is over, go ahead and take half that shit out so you can legally drive it down the fucking freeway.
01:30:59.000 Not every time, but some of the times they had to do that.
01:31:02.000 If you had one of those cars now from Pimp My Ride, it would be a huge collector's item.
01:31:06.000 It should be worth a lot of money if you still kept it.
01:31:10.000 I think they started bringing it back, but...
01:31:12.000 Let me see.
01:31:13.000 Here's an article.
01:31:14.000 What really happened to the cars from Pimp My Ride?
01:31:17.000 Um...
01:31:20.000 I definitely remember a couple of the guys said that they had to stay in contact with a few of the in-house mechanics because they had to keep getting something fixed.
01:31:29.000 Fixed, right.
01:31:30.000 I believe that.
01:31:31.000 They had to constantly drive back to Hollywood or wherever the fuck it was.
01:31:34.000 Right.
01:31:35.000 That makes sense.
01:31:36.000 I'm trying to find...
01:31:37.000 Well, a lot of those shows, like my buddy Bud, who's been on the podcast before, he used to have that show...
01:31:44.000 Fuck, what was it called?
01:31:46.000 What was that show where they would steal someone's car...
01:31:51.000 And rebuild.
01:31:52.000 It would make them think their car was stolen.
01:31:54.000 I can't remember his fucking show.
01:31:56.000 God damn it.
01:31:57.000 It was Chip Foose.
01:31:58.000 Chip Foose would redesign their car and they would get this fucking amazing car.
01:32:03.000 What the fuck was the name of that show?
01:32:08.000 Bud Brutzman, he used to have the show Rides.
01:32:11.000 That was a show where they built my 1970 Barracuda.
01:32:15.000 Overhauling?
01:32:15.000 Overhauling, that's it.
01:32:17.000 Shout out to Bud and Adrian, who was the host.
01:32:21.000 They would take a car and they'd do it in a really short amount of time.
01:32:26.000 And then after it was over, they would have to...
01:32:30.000 Tighten it all up and when they do a build a car they have a shakedown period We're like they drive it for a few hundred miles to make sure there's nothing goes wrong Everything's working, right?
01:32:39.000 It's like this period of time to make sure that everything's dialed in they don't get a chance to do that in a week, right?
01:32:46.000 So that's probably what they're talking about.
01:32:47.000 Yeah, this is a Pin My Ride thing.
01:32:48.000 I'm reading through it.
01:32:49.000 Some of the contestants said they had to completely just play the game of this is a TV show, exaggerate.
01:32:54.000 Let's dump a bunch of cigarette butts in your car to make it look shittier than it is.
01:32:58.000 Hey, when we show it to you, please be fucking happy when you see this so we can have a good reaction for TV kind of thing.
01:33:05.000 That's disappointing.
01:33:06.000 God damn it, Pin My Ride.
01:33:08.000 How dare you.
01:33:09.000 That's every show, though.
01:33:10.000 Yeah, that's every show.
01:33:12.000 Any, like, HGTV show.
01:33:15.000 Oh, yeah.
01:33:15.000 Or just hoarders.
01:33:17.000 Yeah.
01:33:17.000 Like, we're going to have to hoard your place up even more.
01:33:20.000 Probably, right?
01:33:21.000 Yeah.
01:33:21.000 Like, preppers, those people?
01:33:23.000 Preppers.
01:33:24.000 Probably make them extra crazy.
01:33:25.000 I haven't seen preppers.
01:33:26.000 What's that about?
01:33:27.000 People were prepping for the apocalypse.
01:33:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:33:32.000 Listen, we know you're crazy, but we're going to make you look even crazier.
01:33:37.000 Even crazier.
01:33:38.000 Even crazier.
01:33:39.000 Even crazier.
01:33:40.000 Yeah.
01:33:41.000 I don't know, man.
01:33:42.000 Or intervention.
01:33:43.000 You know what's interesting to me?
01:33:45.000 It's typically right-wing people.
01:33:50.000 Who are in favor of, like, if you think about anytime someone passes a law that's bad for the environment, right?
01:34:00.000 If they want to drill in Alaska, if they want to do something overseas, it's usually, I mean, it might be generalizing, but usually thought to be a right-wing thing.
01:34:09.000 Right.
01:34:09.000 Right?
01:34:10.000 It's like more concern for business than concern for the environment.
01:34:14.000 Right.
01:34:15.000 People that are on the left are the people that are always like the tree huggers.
01:34:19.000 Those are the environmentalists.
01:34:21.000 So the people that are like radical environmentalists, you would almost always think of as being people on the left.
01:34:26.000 But the people that are prepping for shit going south are almost always on the right.
01:34:31.000 The right-wing people are the ones who are prepping for solar...
01:34:34.000 Think the world is going to come to an end.
01:34:35.000 Yeah.
01:34:35.000 Those are the ones that are carrying bullets and they're fucking digging tunnels in their backyard.
01:34:40.000 So you know what you're doing.
01:34:41.000 You know you're destroying the earth by digging for oil and all that shit.
01:34:44.000 But it's not them.
01:34:45.000 It's usually the bigwigs.
01:34:47.000 Right.
01:34:47.000 Right?
01:34:48.000 But they're voting and they're in favor of all those decisions that the bigwigs make.
01:34:55.000 Yes.
01:34:55.000 Inadvertently.
01:34:55.000 Because the bigwigs have connected themselves to Jesus.
01:34:58.000 Right.
01:34:58.000 That's what they did.
01:34:59.000 That's the wise thing they did.
01:35:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:35:01.000 To good, old-fashioned family values and Jesus.
01:35:05.000 They figured a way to connect it to a thing that everybody can't argue against.
01:35:11.000 Right.
01:35:12.000 The connected right-wing ideology with God.
01:35:15.000 And left-wing with abortion.
01:35:17.000 Killing babies.
01:35:18.000 The line in the sand's been drawn, Ian.
01:35:20.000 If you're prepping for the end of the world, right?
01:35:24.000 You gotta secretly be hoping for the end of the world.
01:35:29.000 Maybe a little bit of end.
01:35:30.000 Just to try your shit.
01:35:32.000 Yeah, just to try your shit.
01:35:33.000 And to say, I wasn't crazy.
01:35:36.000 Right.
01:35:37.000 And wasting my time.
01:35:38.000 So you gotta kinda be rooting for the end of the world.
01:35:41.000 Like, you don't wanna, you know, do all that shit in vain.
01:35:45.000 Right.
01:35:46.000 You know what I mean?
01:35:47.000 So that's kind of a weirdness to those type of people.
01:35:50.000 That's a good point.
01:35:51.000 You know what I mean?
01:35:52.000 Like, you started doing comedy, and there's people like, you're never going to make it.
01:35:55.000 You want to make it to be like, you were wrong, and to just the relief of knowing you were right.
01:36:01.000 Well, I think that's a problem with cops.
01:36:03.000 I think cops want to shoot people sometimes.
01:36:06.000 They have a gun, and they almost want someone to do something fucked up so they can shoot them.
01:36:11.000 Not every cop.
01:36:11.000 Not every cop.
01:36:12.000 Not every cop.
01:36:13.000 Right.
01:36:13.000 But there are certain people that should not be cops.
01:36:15.000 Right, exactly.
01:36:16.000 And those people that become cops, and it does happen, and we all know, and I'm a 100% supporter of law enforcement, but even law enforcement, they know it.
01:36:23.000 They don't want to be surrounded by some weak fuck who's also a cop who wants to shoot people.
01:36:27.000 Right.
01:36:28.000 But there's people out there that want to shoot people.
01:36:29.000 And you give them a gun, if you give someone a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
01:36:34.000 It's amazing.
01:36:35.000 Yeah.
01:36:35.000 I remember the video, and this was a white cop shooting a white guy.
01:36:40.000 The Arizona one?
01:36:41.000 I think it was in a hotel lobby.
01:36:43.000 Yeah, and that guy is like, how did he become a cop?
01:36:46.000 How did he not go to jail?
01:36:47.000 Yes.
01:36:48.000 They let him off the hook for that one.
01:36:49.000 They always kind of let them off the hook.
01:36:51.000 They'll give a slap on the wrist and just get them out of there.
01:36:53.000 And the instructions he was giving this guy was telling him to keep your hands away from your waist because his pants were falling down.
01:37:00.000 Yeah, and the guy was saying that to him too.
01:37:02.000 Yeah, and he's just crying and crawling towards him.
01:37:05.000 Like helplessly.
01:37:06.000 The guy reaches because his pants fell down and grabs a hold of his pants to pull him up and the guy fills his back up with bullets.
01:37:12.000 Shoots him in the back, on the floor, crawling.
01:37:16.000 The guy's of no threat.
01:37:17.000 Was yelling, making the situation even more chaotic.
01:37:21.000 He's also telling the guy to do something.
01:37:23.000 Why are you making a move?
01:37:24.000 Just tell him to lie down, put his hands behind his back, you handcuff him, and then he was ordering the guy to crawl towards him.
01:37:32.000 Towards him, yeah.
01:37:33.000 It doesn't even make sense.
01:37:34.000 Did you see this video earlier this week?
01:37:36.000 This was from July 1st.
01:37:39.000 Yes.
01:37:39.000 This is crazy.
01:37:41.000 This is what's called suicide by cop.
01:37:43.000 This guy was coming towards this cop screaming with a knife and the cop was begging him to please stop, please stop.
01:37:50.000 This is after they already shot him, Jamie.
01:37:51.000 Yeah, I know.
01:37:52.000 But meanwhile, he winds up tackling this fucking guy.
01:37:55.000 This is what's crazy.
01:37:56.000 This guy's already been shot and he turns on this cop and tackles him right here.
01:38:00.000 Tackles him.
01:38:01.000 Look at this.
01:38:01.000 The guy's filled with bullets, and the guy's reaching for his gun.
01:38:04.000 He gets his back, and he takes him down.
01:38:07.000 And then this guy's not even close enough.
01:38:08.000 He doesn't have the knife anymore, does he?
01:38:10.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:38:11.000 I can't tell if it's in his hand right there.
01:38:13.000 It's hard to see.
01:38:13.000 Did you see the video of the black cop walking towards the guy with the machete?
01:38:19.000 Yes, I did see that.
01:38:20.000 And he just like walked right into it and just parried and flipped him over?
01:38:25.000 Yeah.
01:38:25.000 That shit was crazy.
01:38:26.000 That is crazy.
01:38:27.000 I saw another one that Eddie Bravo sent me of a, it's not a cop one, but two dudes are having a conversation and this guy's got his hand behind the back.
01:38:35.000 And he pulls a knife out of his pocket, and the guy doesn't even see, and he just, in the middle of the conversation, just sticks him in the stomach.
01:38:40.000 And the guy's standing there, he moves back, and he's like holding his stomach, he can't believe it, and the guy comes towards him again, follows him, and the guy who got stabbed winds up knocking the dude out.
01:38:50.000 The guy's coming towards him with the knife again, saying, I'll stab you again, and the guy hits him with the left hook and rocks him, and then hits him with the right hand and knocks him out.
01:38:57.000 And these were regular dudes?
01:38:59.000 Regular dudes.
01:39:00.000 Looks like regular dudes.
01:39:00.000 But the dude who got stabbed knew how to fight.
01:39:03.000 Luckily for him.
01:39:04.000 But he still might die.
01:39:05.000 Knew how to fight and take a stab.
01:39:07.000 In the stomach?
01:39:08.000 That is fucking very dangerous, man.
01:39:10.000 Yeah, man.
01:39:11.000 Very dangerous.
01:39:14.000 Yeah.
01:39:14.000 What were we talking about?
01:39:16.000 What are you doing?
01:39:16.000 I'm just looking at...
01:39:17.000 I'm trying to find a video of that guy getting stabbed.
01:39:19.000 Nah, let's not.
01:39:20.000 Oh, it's just crazy.
01:39:21.000 There's so much.
01:39:22.000 There's just so much.
01:39:23.000 Yeah, it's a lot of shit.
01:39:24.000 There's so much to just freak you out.
01:39:27.000 I don't even look at some of the bad stuff anymore.
01:39:30.000 A lot of it.
01:39:31.000 Yeah.
01:39:32.000 Like I saw at the beginning of that video when it came out like last week.
01:39:37.000 I ain't watching this.
01:39:38.000 I just like turned it off.
01:39:40.000 Yeah, you can't watch that.
01:39:41.000 Yeah.
01:39:42.000 There's so many videos.
01:39:43.000 You'll get convinced that that's happening everywhere in the world 24 hours a day.
01:39:47.000 It'll fuck your head up.
01:39:48.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:39:49.000 Yeah.
01:39:50.000 Yeah.
01:39:54.000 It's easy to get freaked out.
01:39:55.000 Yeah.
01:39:56.000 I mean, there's a lot of freakable shit out there.
01:40:00.000 There is.
01:40:02.000 This is as good a spot as any to talk about this.
01:40:05.000 I want to make sure I clarify something because there was an operation.
01:40:10.000 This is a guy who was a billionaire diamond guy who wound up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because of the anesthesia.
01:40:19.000 And it was in another country.
01:40:21.000 And we pulled out...
01:40:22.000 We were saying, somehow or another, it got connected to this company that does that in the United States.
01:40:28.000 It had nothing...
01:40:29.000 Phenoma?
01:40:30.000 Yeah, the article I had said like...
01:40:33.000 He was getting a similar surgery in that the Pneuma only happens in the U.S., but he was getting something done in Europe, so it was different.
01:40:42.000 Well, they reached out to me to explain.
01:40:43.000 First of all, the guy died from anesthesia.
01:40:46.000 You could die from anesthesia from any operation.
01:40:48.000 It had nothing to do with the penis enlargement operation, to use the more correct term, dick enlargement.
01:40:57.000 But he didn't die from that.
01:40:59.000 And that's just as safe as getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on.
01:41:04.000 It's just any surgery where you have anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk.
01:41:09.000 But apparently this dick thing works.
01:41:12.000 They actually can grow your dick bigger now.
01:41:14.000 You're risking your life.
01:41:17.000 It better work.
01:41:18.000 Well, you're risking your life if you go to the dentist.
01:41:21.000 Anytime you get put under, anything you're doing with anesthesia, there's a very small chance that something could go wrong.
01:41:29.000 But it had nothing to do with this dick operation, so I just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up, I don't want any incorrect assumptions to be out there, and I carry no ill will towards these people that make this, and apparently it works.
01:41:44.000 So I just want everybody to know that.
01:41:46.000 Yeah, he's carrying no ill will towards his company that makes dicks bigger.
01:41:51.000 Apparently, it actually, it's a weird thing, right?
01:41:54.000 Like, for a man to do that, there's certain taboos that are involved in even admitting that you have an issue.
01:42:03.000 Like, a little dick is a weird thing, right?
01:42:05.000 Because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of.
01:42:09.000 Right.
01:42:09.000 Like, you can't make fun of a little person.
01:42:11.000 Right.
01:42:12.000 Like, if you make fun of a person who's a, you know, you're not supposed to call them midgets.
01:42:17.000 Right.
01:42:17.000 You're supposed to call them little people.
01:42:18.000 Right.
01:42:18.000 You make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person.
01:42:21.000 You're a cruel person.
01:42:23.000 Right.
01:42:23.000 But if you make fun of a guy with a little dick...
01:42:25.000 Like, somehow or another...
01:42:27.000 Sometimes he deserves it or some shit.
01:42:29.000 That's a weird thing that women are allowed to do.
01:42:32.000 Like, you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little dicks.
01:42:35.000 There should be something in the same vein, yes, to protect little dick people from cruelty.
01:42:44.000 Right, because if you have a little pussy, that's fantastic.
01:42:47.000 Everybody's excited about that.
01:42:49.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:42:50.000 What a weird situation.
01:42:52.000 But a big dick is a sign of virility.
01:42:54.000 Right.
01:42:55.000 So we salute you, Penuma.
01:42:57.000 That's the name of the company?
01:42:58.000 We salute you for helping men achieve larger dicks.
01:43:01.000 Yeah, and I almost died from anesthesia one time.
01:43:03.000 I thought you were going to say from a dick in life.
01:43:05.000 What happened?
01:43:06.000 When I was like a teenager, and here's the irony.
01:43:10.000 I was going in...
01:43:12.000 For an operation that you're supposed to go in in the morning and leave in the afternoon.
01:43:17.000 Oh.
01:43:17.000 It's just a quick thing.
01:43:19.000 And then it was literally for a circumcision.
01:43:23.000 I was like...
01:43:24.000 You were getting a circumcision?
01:43:25.000 Yeah.
01:43:25.000 What were you doing?
01:43:27.000 I just had sex with this girl, like, I was a kid, like, say, 18, and somehow I pulled the skin of my dick back and couldn't get it back.
01:43:43.000 I did that to clean it.
01:43:46.000 And I couldn't get the skin back, right?
01:43:48.000 Over.
01:43:49.000 So then I spent like an entire night with like a raw boner.
01:43:57.000 Whoa.
01:43:57.000 With no skin covering it.
01:43:59.000 So I went to the doctor.
01:44:00.000 Then he got it back over and he said, you should get a circumcision.
01:44:04.000 So one time operation is going and you don't have to worry about this shit happening again.
01:44:10.000 But it only happened once, right?
01:44:12.000 Yeah.
01:44:12.000 But you were furiously beaten off though, right?
01:44:15.000 Is that what you mean?
01:44:16.000 No, no, no.
01:44:17.000 I pulled the skin back to clean it.
01:44:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:44:20.000 Officer, I was cleaning the gun when it shot my neighbor.
01:44:25.000 No, it's cleaning.
01:44:26.000 There was shit under there.
01:44:27.000 Yeah.
01:44:28.000 So then I went in and they gave me the anesthesia.
01:44:33.000 And then when I woke up, there was like a hose down my throat and people were frantic around me.
01:44:40.000 And it was like nighttime.
01:44:42.000 It was way past the time I was supposed to come back, come to.
01:44:45.000 And the anesthesia gave me pneumonia.
01:44:48.000 I ended up spending like two, one and a half to two weeks in the hospital.
01:44:53.000 And the first few days was in intensive care.
01:44:56.000 Oh, wow.
01:44:58.000 It was anesthesia.
01:44:59.000 I did not, like, wake up.
01:45:01.000 Holy shit.
01:45:02.000 Yeah.
01:45:02.000 You almost died getting your dick operated on.
01:45:05.000 Yeah.
01:45:05.000 I was almost that guy.
01:45:07.000 Whew.
01:45:09.000 But for the most part, listen, you're talking to someone who's had a bunch of surgeries.
01:45:13.000 I've had my nose fixed.
01:45:15.000 I've had my arm broken, my hands.
01:45:18.000 I've had my knees operated on three times.
01:45:22.000 I've had three knee surgeries.
01:45:23.000 I've been put under quite a few times.
01:45:26.000 It's mostly safe.
01:45:28.000 It's really about the anesthesiologist.
01:45:31.000 Hey, Jamie, just somebody at the door.
01:45:32.000 Try to figure out...
01:45:34.000 That's the security guard.
01:45:35.000 Okay.
01:45:35.000 Why is he doing that?
01:45:37.000 Wandering around like he's got a plan.
01:45:40.000 I have no idea.
01:45:41.000 He's got a chair there.
01:45:42.000 He must be hanging out up there today.
01:45:43.000 I don't know.
01:45:43.000 Some people are weird, man.
01:45:45.000 You never know.
01:45:46.000 When you get in an Uber, do you know that they...
01:45:49.000 How much background do they do on an Uber?
01:45:51.000 So I was trying to explain.
01:45:52.000 When you asked me the other day, I was like, to get the approval on your app to be like, yes, this car can drive Uber is one thing.
01:46:00.000 But once you have that, anybody you know can...
01:46:03.000 Be behind that.
01:46:03.000 They don't scan your face when you're in the car every time or anything like that.
01:46:07.000 Yeah, I got the Uber.
01:46:08.000 Bro, use it.
01:46:09.000 So if you and I got an Uber, I could use your Uber and I could drive around and pretend I'm you.
01:46:14.000 You could get caught, sure, but people definitely do that.
01:46:16.000 But how many people get caught driving an Uber?
01:46:19.000 Fucking none.
01:46:20.000 Right?
01:46:22.000 Whoever saw that coming?
01:46:24.000 Rideshare.
01:46:24.000 Remember when you were a kid and there was taxis?
01:46:26.000 Whoever thought, man, I could have my own taxi?
01:46:28.000 They used to have a shit called gypsy taxis.
01:46:31.000 And they would arrest those people.
01:46:32.000 Yeah, in New York.
01:46:33.000 Yes!
01:46:34.000 They would arrest them for trying to do the Uber thing.
01:46:37.000 Why don't they get an Uber?
01:46:38.000 Why would they be a gypsy cab?
01:46:40.000 Five bucks.
01:46:41.000 This is before that, though.
01:46:42.000 There was a year that I lived in New York that some insane number of gypsy cab drivers got murdered.
01:46:48.000 Insane.
01:46:49.000 Oh, for real?
01:46:49.000 It was something like 40-plus in a year got murdered, so it was almost one a week.
01:46:54.000 They were killing gypsy cab drivers.
01:46:56.000 They would rob them and kill them.
01:46:57.000 Did they ever catch that guy?
01:46:59.000 I don't know if it was just one guy.
01:47:00.000 Yeah, those people.
01:47:01.000 They were just deciding that these gypsy cab drivers, I think, this was, you know, boy, we're talking like probably like 1990s, 1992 or some shit like that.
01:47:11.000 Like there was no internet and there was, I don't know if people were paying ever with credit cards.
01:47:20.000 No, it was all cash.
01:47:21.000 It was all cash?
01:47:21.000 Yeah.
01:47:22.000 So if you were a gypsy cab driver, they saw you as being someone who had a wad of cash on you.
01:47:26.000 And then you can't report it to the police because you're a gypsy cab driver, so you shouldn't even be doing it.
01:47:31.000 Yeah, but they would just kill them.
01:47:32.000 But if you're a criminal, it's a great crime.
01:47:37.000 It's a smart crime.
01:47:38.000 Like, I'm going to rob somebody that shouldn't be doing what they're doing for a living, so they can't really report to the police That I'm robbing you.
01:47:49.000 Yeah, but they would shoot him and kill him.
01:47:50.000 The thing is, they would just shoot him in the head.
01:47:52.000 And the thing is, they would be considered...
01:47:54.000 Maybe these people were illegals.
01:47:57.000 Maybe these people didn't have a lot of documentation.
01:47:59.000 Maybe when they killed him, it would be a dead end because they wouldn't know what to do.
01:48:03.000 Maybe they were here by themselves.
01:48:04.000 Maybe they figured the cops don't care about...
01:48:06.000 They would definitely figure the cops don't care.
01:48:08.000 And because it's cash and because there's no meter, so there's no record of everything.
01:48:15.000 Did you find anything about that?
01:48:18.000 Quickly just Google it.
01:48:19.000 There was one – I found a story from New York Times, 1983. There was a weekend where 11 people were murdered, but this story just has the story of one guy that was found in the front seat of a gypsy cab, murdered.
01:48:28.000 Could have been a shot, could have been a nice pic.
01:48:29.000 It was the 1990s.
01:48:31.000 Okay.
01:48:31.000 It was the 1990s.
01:48:32.000 It was definitely – well, I moved there.
01:48:35.000 I think I moved to New York and – 91. I think I lived there from 91. I lived back and forth in 92. Here's a story from 1990. A sixth cabbie is slain in the Bronx, but it's New York Times.
01:48:48.000 It's just a paywall thing.
01:48:50.000 Yeah.
01:48:50.000 The fifth one was killed.
01:48:52.000 Yeah, I think there was a long stretch where it started to become a big deal.
01:48:57.000 But it's...
01:48:57.000 I mean, if there was 40 Wall Street guys murdered...
01:49:00.000 Murders of times of drivers in the 1990s originated...
01:49:05.000 The creation of pirate taxons.
01:49:08.000 Yeah, that's kind of the article about it.
01:49:11.000 Since 1990, 180 drivers have lost their lives while on duty in the streets, which averages more than two per month.
01:49:17.000 Wow.
01:49:17.000 That's crazy.
01:49:18.000 I don't know if that's regular.
01:49:19.000 I don't know.
01:49:20.000 I don't know either.
01:49:21.000 It might just be cab drivers.
01:49:24.000 Because gypsy cab drivers, how do you prove that guy was a gypsy cab driver?
01:49:27.000 You just got a dead guy in a car with a bullet in the back of the head.
01:49:30.000 And then you have to ask his friends, was this guy gypsy cab driving?
01:49:32.000 Maybe it was a certain style of car, too.
01:49:36.000 So that passengers could identify it as a gypsy cab so that they could take it.
01:49:40.000 And it's like, if you're taking a gypsy cab, you have a limited amount of money.
01:49:44.000 And you don't want to pay a cab, but you want to get to where you're going.
01:49:47.000 It has to be identifiable.
01:49:49.000 Here it is.
01:49:50.000 Cabbies risk death daily in New York.
01:49:53.000 Jungle under siege.
01:49:54.000 Crime.
01:49:55.000 Hours are long and the mortality rate high.
01:49:57.000 So far this year, 32 taxi drivers have been killed by armed robbers posing as customers.
01:50:03.000 Yeah, and I think that's just regular taxi drivers.
01:50:05.000 Yeah.
01:50:06.000 That's a rough gig, man.
01:50:08.000 Yeah.
01:50:08.000 Now, when we were living in New York, imagine if just now you go there, it's just Ubers everywhere.
01:50:14.000 Everybody's Ubering.
01:50:15.000 Everybody's just using their phone, standing out like the comedy store has become a fucking disaster trying to get in that parking lot now.
01:50:21.000 Yeah, that's a pain in the ass.
01:50:22.000 And they just pull up and block the driveway.
01:50:24.000 They don't give a fuck and no one stops them.
01:50:26.000 Yeah.
01:50:26.000 And they're just going in there left and right, just blocking everything, dropping people off, picking people up.
01:50:33.000 It's never ending.
01:50:34.000 You can never get in there.
01:50:36.000 It's weird.
01:50:37.000 It's like a new thing that no one saw coming.
01:50:41.000 Let's play Gary Vee here.
01:50:44.000 What's next?
01:50:44.000 What could we get on the front lines of something like that?
01:50:48.000 That scooter stuff is crazy.
01:50:50.000 There's a one-year pilot program, I think they're calling it, for Los Angeles County.
01:50:54.000 That's why more and more have popped up.
01:50:55.000 I think they're just sort of saying...
01:50:57.000 We're going to do a year, figure it out.
01:50:59.000 No one is going to be taken down for doing this, or like they were trying in Santa Monica to get rid of them for a minute, like the bird scooters and whatnot.
01:51:06.000 They've ramped it up completely.
01:51:08.000 There's all sorts of electronic bikes now.
01:51:10.000 There's at least, I want to say, six or seven different companies just in Hollywood where I live.
01:51:14.000 They're just everywhere, laying all over the sidewalks, but that's sort of what they're trying to figure out is...
01:51:19.000 How do you leave them around?
01:51:21.000 Where are you going to leave them?
01:51:22.000 Is it successful?
01:51:23.000 I don't know how many taxes they're paying and how much money the city gets brought in.
01:51:27.000 I don't mind them, but it's just dangerous walking.
01:51:30.000 It is.
01:51:30.000 Because I was walking down the street one day, and I was about to just...
01:51:34.000 You know, you're just walking, but you just change your stride a little bit to go to the right.
01:51:38.000 And I almost got hit by one, and it was coming fast.
01:51:41.000 And I'm like, it's the sidewalk.
01:51:43.000 Yeah.
01:51:44.000 You know what I mean?
01:51:45.000 It could be serious-ass damage.
01:51:48.000 That's the problem in L.A. is that...
01:51:50.000 You're supposed to be on the street with those.
01:51:52.000 It says do not ride these on the sidewalk, but it is 100% not safe to be on the streets of L.A. on those because people are getting run over.
01:52:00.000 I don't know if anybody's died, but downtown L.A., somebody driving 50 miles an hour ran over someone on a scooter.
01:52:08.000 Why the fuck are you driving so fast downtown also?
01:52:11.000 Well, there's people that are crazy.
01:52:12.000 Yeah, the hit and runs happen anyway.
01:52:13.000 They happen all over the place.
01:52:14.000 And then there's assholes.
01:52:16.000 People are going to shoot cab drivers.
01:52:17.000 They're going to run over scooter drivers.
01:52:18.000 Yeah.
01:52:19.000 They're everywhere, though.
01:52:21.000 It's weird to see them.
01:52:22.000 They've started to ban them in certain places, right?
01:52:25.000 Some neighborhoods have tried.
01:52:27.000 Like, West Hollywood, you kind of can't leave them anywhere.
01:52:30.000 But I think cities.
01:52:30.000 I think they're cities.
01:52:31.000 West Hollywood's a city.
01:52:32.000 Yeah, but I mean outside of California.
01:52:34.000 I mean, other cities have just said no more.
01:52:37.000 Vegas, you can't.
01:52:38.000 No fucking way could you have them in Vegas.
01:52:39.000 No?
01:52:40.000 All those drunk people.
01:52:40.000 Oh, right?
01:52:41.000 Jesus.
01:52:42.000 Oh, my gosh.
01:52:42.000 Drunk people on scooters.
01:52:43.000 Can you imagine?
01:52:44.000 Oh, shit.
01:52:44.000 They're ridiculous.
01:52:45.000 Drunk people on scooters and drunk people driving while you're on a scooter.
01:52:49.000 Yeah.
01:52:50.000 Plus weed.
01:52:51.000 Plus weed.
01:52:52.000 Now weed.
01:52:53.000 Yeah, how good was Vegas?
01:52:55.000 It was a good time, wasn't it?
01:52:55.000 It was a good time, yeah.
01:52:56.000 That was fun.
01:52:57.000 You just had me thinking about what could be next, though.
01:52:59.000 Yeah, what could be next?
01:53:01.000 Like, if we didn't see scooters coming, we didn't see Uber coming, what could be the next big thing?
01:53:06.000 What do we need?
01:53:07.000 What do we need?
01:53:08.000 We need protection from the ocean.
01:53:10.000 The ocean's gonna rise up and take us.
01:53:14.000 We're melting the ice caps.
01:53:16.000 We're going to have to move to Tucson.
01:53:17.000 Boats.
01:53:18.000 They're making more subways here right now.
01:53:20.000 Yeah, they're going to fill up with water.
01:53:22.000 What a good move.
01:53:23.000 They're going to have one in Beverly Hills.
01:53:24.000 Those are going to be canals.
01:53:26.000 Canals.
01:53:26.000 We'll use those for the toilet in the year 2090. Yeah, we're going to throw our shit down those tubes.
01:53:33.000 I wonder, man.
01:53:34.000 I mean, there was some shit that I was reading today about the ice caps melting at an accelerated rate.
01:53:39.000 It's never good news.
01:53:41.000 Yeah.
01:53:42.000 Whenever it's like ice cap melting news, like, hey, we just found out we actually have more ice than we thought.
01:53:48.000 We're good.
01:53:49.000 Don't worry about it.
01:53:50.000 Doesn't that mean Vegas can get water now?
01:53:52.000 No?
01:53:52.000 Vegas gets their water, they figure it out.
01:53:55.000 There's so much money in Vegas, they just steal it.
01:53:58.000 Where do they get it?
01:53:58.000 From a hole in the ground?
01:54:00.000 No idea.
01:54:00.000 Is there a well out there?
01:54:02.000 All I know, they got good water pressure in every hotel I've ever been in.
01:54:05.000 It's wonderful.
01:54:06.000 Yeah.
01:54:06.000 Look, that's a human ingenuity.
01:54:08.000 They're building more shit.
01:54:09.000 Yeah, and if the ice caps do melt, it'll just bring it closer to Vegas.
01:54:13.000 Right.
01:54:14.000 Vegas will use it.
01:54:15.000 Yeah, the water will be like real close.
01:54:17.000 Yeah.
01:54:18.000 I mean, we just move inside to the middle.
01:54:21.000 Like, this is what people have been doing forever.
01:54:22.000 This idea that you're supposed to be able to keep your fucking house on the water in Santa Monica.
01:54:27.000 That isn't crazy.
01:54:29.000 I know, yeah, yeah.
01:54:30.000 You decided to build a house where the beach is your front yard.
01:54:33.000 That is so nuts.
01:54:34.000 You think those cliffs were always there?
01:54:37.000 This shit was different decades before.
01:54:40.000 So keep on thinking it's going to be like that all the time.
01:54:42.000 Yeah, if you buy a seaside house in Marina Del Rey or someone really nice, you're making a gamble.
01:54:49.000 I'm only going to be alive for 40 more years.
01:54:52.000 Over those years, let's hope that this water stays over there.
01:54:56.000 Exactly.
01:54:57.000 Stays put.
01:54:58.000 Let's hope Mother Nature does what I want it to do.
01:55:01.000 Yeah.
01:55:02.000 I'm gonna spend seven million dollars on this fucking house with literally no backyard.
01:55:08.000 It's just ocean.
01:55:09.000 And I'm just gonna hope it stays like this.
01:55:11.000 Yeah.
01:55:11.000 I just can't wait till my crib becomes beachfront property.
01:55:14.000 And then I could sell it.
01:55:16.000 I rented a beach house a couple of years ago when I was getting my kitchen fixed.
01:55:22.000 And we rented this house in Malibu on the water.
01:55:26.000 It was beautiful, man.
01:55:27.000 You would wake up, you'd eat breakfast.
01:55:29.000 You'd just be sitting there staring out over the water, and the water would literally come almost underneath the balcony, so it looked like you were sitting in water, like you were floating in water, like you were on a boat.
01:55:41.000 I was like, wow, this is so beautiful.
01:55:42.000 It makes you feel so good.
01:55:44.000 Yeah, it does, being by the ocean.
01:55:46.000 But what a gamble.
01:55:47.000 Yeah, even though you sound like that's the ultimate infinity pool.
01:55:52.000 Yes.
01:55:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:55:55.000 Yeah, I don't mind.
01:55:57.000 Like, La Jolla, you have the condo right by the beach, and you go to sleep at night, you can hear the ocean, you wake up.
01:56:05.000 But then, I'd be like, what if this is the night?
01:56:08.000 This is the night.
01:56:09.000 Where, you know.
01:56:10.000 Comes in.
01:56:10.000 Yeah.
01:56:12.000 Just takes the building down and rushes it out to the mountains.
01:56:18.000 I mean, that's happened so many times in history.
01:56:21.000 Yeah.
01:56:22.000 All it takes is an earthquake or an asteroid hits the ocean.
01:56:26.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:56:28.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:28.000 If an asteroid hit the ocean, we wouldn't even be safe here.
01:56:32.000 We wouldn't be safe.
01:56:33.000 We probably wouldn't be safe in Arizona.
01:56:36.000 It would go deep into Arizona.
01:56:37.000 If an asteroid hit the fucking ocean just outside of Malibu, boom!
01:56:42.000 Just a big one.
01:56:44.000 Everybody in the Midwest be laughing.
01:56:46.000 They'd be laughing our ass off.
01:56:47.000 See, we had the best property all the time.
01:56:49.000 Yeah, so we had to duck hurricanes.
01:56:51.000 They have the scariest shit.
01:56:53.000 I think tornadoes are the scariest shit.
01:56:55.000 Yeah, those things are so random.
01:56:57.000 And they happen every year.
01:56:58.000 Right.
01:56:59.000 Every year.
01:57:00.000 It's not like earthquakes happen every year.
01:57:01.000 A hurricane, you can track, you know, it's coming, you can prepare, you can just leave.
01:57:06.000 A tornado, it's just like...
01:57:07.000 They just show up.
01:57:08.000 Hey, man, I'm here.
01:57:10.000 Yeah.
01:57:11.000 Yeah.
01:57:11.000 That's the scariest.
01:57:12.000 Yeah.
01:57:13.000 But that's just something that people deal with.
01:57:16.000 You see, they wipe out entire towns.
01:57:19.000 They take towns off the map.
01:57:22.000 I feel like they just always aim for these small towns.
01:57:26.000 Well, I think it has to do with agriculture.
01:57:30.000 If I'm right, I think it has to do with flat areas and the type of weather that they have.
01:57:37.000 And I don't think they take place in areas where there's a lot of trees and forests.
01:57:41.000 Is that true?
01:57:42.000 It's more like they don't really happen in cities because the heat structure and it creates where the air pressure starts because it's a hot, cold air pressure system that kind of starts swirling.
01:57:53.000 So because of the artificial concrete and all that stuff, that's why tornadoes almost protect the bubble.
01:57:58.000 It does happen in cities from time to time, more like on the outskirts, but it's very rare to see one roll through a downtown.
01:58:04.000 But does one ever go through Colorado?
01:58:06.000 Yeah, I'm looking one up right here.
01:58:08.000 That's why, as you were saying, trees.
01:58:09.000 I got a video of one just ripping trees up in Texas.
01:58:12.000 But mostly, yeah, for sure, on flatlands.
01:58:15.000 Even Texas has them?
01:58:16.000 Yeah.
01:58:18.000 Well, Texas is a lot of crazy wind.
01:58:22.000 But it's so close to Oklahoma.
01:58:23.000 Oklahoma is like Tornado Valley, so anywhere around there.
01:58:26.000 There was one that was on TV that was mad.
01:58:30.000 It was hitting this area where they had these oil trucks, and it was carrying these semi-trucks in the air.
01:58:37.000 I don't know if they're oil trucks.
01:58:38.000 They're semis.
01:58:40.000 You know, like a 16-wheeler, like fucking trucking, like that.
01:58:43.000 It was flying in a circle in the sky like a fucking newspaper.
01:58:48.000 You know how a page from a newspaper gets caught in the wind and starts flying around?
01:58:51.000 This fucking tornado was carrying trucks like that.
01:58:57.000 I thought it was in this video.
01:58:58.000 This was in Missouri earlier this year.
01:59:01.000 I don't see it.
01:59:02.000 That's mostly new stuff.
01:59:05.000 Yeah, but there's a video of...
01:59:07.000 Oh, that's it right there.
01:59:08.000 That's the video.
01:59:09.000 This is a video where you see...
01:59:11.000 Look at this.
01:59:11.000 While you see the trucks, as they get closer, you can see inside the fucking thing.
01:59:17.000 That is a truck flying in a circle.
01:59:19.000 If this is the same video.
01:59:21.000 That's hard to tell.
01:59:23.000 I don't know if that's it.
01:59:24.000 Yeah, that's after.
01:59:25.000 No, that's the semi after it lands.
01:59:28.000 I mean, that might not have even been it, but it was one where there's probably so many fucking tornado videos, but it was one where these trucks were literally flying around in a circle like it was carrying this gigantic semi and just floating it in the air like a paper airplane.
01:59:45.000 Was it from Twister, though?
01:59:46.000 Was it some fake footage or something?
01:59:48.000 No, no, no.
01:59:48.000 It was real.
01:59:48.000 It was real.
01:59:49.000 Some news footage from television.
01:59:51.000 It seems like then it's hard to catch that because all these are just already on the ground.
01:59:54.000 Yeah, no, it was from a distance.
01:59:56.000 It was some news footage.
01:59:59.000 We're fucking rambling.
02:00:02.000 Speaking of rambling, Ian Edwards has a comedy special.
02:00:06.000 Oh, yeah.
02:00:07.000 When's it coming out?
02:00:08.000 Friday at midnight on Comedy Central.
02:00:10.000 Oh, shit.
02:00:11.000 Why did you decide to do it in that style?
02:00:13.000 It's kind of interesting.
02:00:13.000 You did it like a TED Talk.
02:00:15.000 Because there's so many specials out there.
02:00:20.000 And I get to do my material when I do it that way, but add a little twist and an extra layer to it, and that'll make people be more interested in it than if I was just going to do like just a regular stand-up.
02:00:33.000 That's smart.
02:00:34.000 You clever bastard.
02:00:35.000 Once in a while I got an idea, you know what I'm saying?
02:00:37.000 And you got the microphone, a regular microphone, just sitting on the stool in case you change your mind.
02:00:42.000 Well, the last bit I used the mic.
02:00:44.000 You noticed that.
02:00:45.000 Yes, you did.
02:00:47.000 The last bit I do with the mic.
02:00:50.000 What is in your hand?
02:00:52.000 The clicker.
02:00:55.000 Because some of the topics, I put it on the screen.
02:00:58.000 Just like a TED talk.
02:00:59.000 You talk, you click the thing, your picture represents what you're talking about, and then you keep on going.
02:01:05.000 I've seen people do that before with TED Talks, and I've always thought that would be a good thing with comics.
02:01:12.000 Oh, yeah.
02:01:13.000 Because even when you look at your stand-up, you take on a topic, you dissect it, and you give people an alternate view of that topic, just like a TED Talk, and then you move on to the next one.
02:01:26.000 So comics like you and me and other people, it's a perfect format for our stand-up.
02:01:33.000 Yeah, are you doing that when you headline?
02:01:36.000 When you do headline gigs?
02:01:37.000 Nah, nah.
02:01:37.000 Maybe you should.
02:01:38.000 Maybe.
02:01:38.000 I thought about doing that.
02:01:39.000 Oh, right.
02:01:40.000 You did?
02:01:41.000 Yeah, I did.
02:01:41.000 I did.
02:01:42.000 I thought about it at one point in time, but I'm too lazy.
02:01:44.000 Yeah.
02:01:46.000 Yeah, like, I don't have merch or anything, so I don't bring in merch.
02:01:48.000 I don't want to have to make sure they have a screen or transport one and all that shit.
02:01:53.000 That's true.
02:01:54.000 Then it gets cumbersome.
02:01:55.000 Well, I heard that Kevin Hart at one point in time had pyrotechnics.
02:01:58.000 Like, he would hit a punchline.
02:02:00.000 Bam!
02:02:01.000 Bam!
02:02:02.000 20 foot tall flames and shoot through the sky in arenas.
02:02:06.000 I'm like, man.
02:02:07.000 You add to the stand-up.
02:02:10.000 It's like props, but way better.
02:02:13.000 I feel like props are one of the rare things where you can't do them anymore because Carrot Top owns that.
02:02:21.000 Whereas when I was a kid, man, there was prop comedians.
02:02:24.000 Yeah, there was a lot of them.
02:02:25.000 Right?
02:02:26.000 Jamie, you don't know about any of that.
02:02:27.000 I just remember a lot of ventriloquists and some people that were doing little prop things, but no one really had that truck full of fucking stuff.
02:02:35.000 They'd be the comic that'd show up to the mic with a briefcase, and then afterwards he has to gather stuff like a stripper after his set.
02:02:44.000 Yeah, they have a giant duffel bag.
02:02:46.000 Gallagher had a lot of stuff.
02:02:48.000 There was a guy that was...
02:02:50.000 He was really funny, man.
02:02:53.000 A guy in Boston that used to do that.
02:02:55.000 Fuck, I'm blanking on his name.
02:02:57.000 But he had glasses, and he had a real similar kind of act.
02:03:01.000 But it was kind of like science-based.
02:03:03.000 He had a bunch of weird shit that he would carry around.
02:03:05.000 Alex Zerbe?
02:03:06.000 Nope.
02:03:06.000 Okay.
02:03:07.000 No.
02:03:08.000 It was a long time ago.
02:03:09.000 You ever seen Chips Cooney?
02:03:11.000 Chips Cooney.
02:03:12.000 I've heard the name.
02:03:13.000 Yeah, he had props, but he was a fake magician.
02:03:17.000 Really?
02:03:17.000 So, like...
02:03:18.000 Remember the name of that Tupperware?
02:03:20.000 Oh, that's right.
02:03:20.000 That expanded?
02:03:21.000 Yeah.
02:03:22.000 Like, that was one of his tricks.
02:03:24.000 It's just all goofball shit, but he was funny, like, you know, and then pull it out, that's the trick, and just keep going on to the next goofy thing.
02:03:32.000 There was a guy named Lenny Schultz, and he...
02:03:35.000 I remember.
02:03:35.000 Remember Crazy Lenny?
02:03:36.000 Uh-huh.
02:03:37.000 Yeah, he had a bunch of props.
02:03:38.000 Yeah.
02:03:39.000 I watched Steve Byrne's documentary on The Amazing Jonathan that he just put out.
02:03:42.000 It was really good.
02:03:43.000 Was it?
02:03:43.000 Yeah, as a younger kid, I liked him just because of his zany, crazy shit he did, but watching the documentary was awesome.
02:03:50.000 Good job doing that.
02:03:51.000 Shout out to Steve Byrne.
02:03:53.000 What is it basically about?
02:03:54.000 He lived in excess, right?
02:03:56.000 Yeah, it's definitely about that, sort of like his rise in maybe, I would say, fall, but then sort of how he came back.
02:04:02.000 He almost died.
02:04:03.000 It's a lot, too, about this fan that became his manager, and sort of he helped him and guided him along and apprenticed him a little bit, and just about the relationship and Pulled footage together.
02:04:14.000 It was just interesting.
02:04:15.000 He's an interesting guy.
02:04:17.000 Wow.
02:04:18.000 Yeah, those guys from the fucking 80s went hard, man.
02:04:22.000 That was the Kinnison era, you know?
02:04:24.000 Yeah.
02:04:24.000 If you wanted to be a wild man, you had to go hard.
02:04:27.000 Yeah.
02:04:28.000 He figured out how to snort coke on stage.
02:04:30.000 He's just like, I'll make a joke about it.
02:04:32.000 It was supposed to be fake coke, but he was like, I'm really doing it.
02:04:35.000 Like a lot.
02:04:36.000 So he made a bit.
02:04:38.000 Yeah.
02:04:39.000 That was not a prop.
02:04:41.000 That's real shit.
02:04:42.000 I bet people have done a lot of Weasley shit like that.
02:04:46.000 Like, just put something into their act.
02:04:48.000 They'll pull something off.
02:04:49.000 You know?
02:04:51.000 Like I would think.
02:04:55.000 One of the cooler things about comedy is also one of the weirder things.
02:04:58.000 It's so open-ended.
02:04:59.000 You get booked to the Bray Improv.
02:05:04.000 You show up.
02:05:05.000 Like, what's up, Ian?
02:05:06.000 How are you, man?
02:05:07.000 You're like, hey, this is my opening act.
02:05:08.000 They shake hands.
02:05:09.000 Everybody's cool.
02:05:10.000 They don't even ask you what you're going to talk about.
02:05:12.000 They got everybody sitting there.
02:05:14.000 People have paid money.
02:05:15.000 They've sold tickets.
02:05:16.000 They've sold drinks.
02:05:18.000 And they have not a clue as to what you're going to discuss.
02:05:21.000 And you just go up there and say whatever the fuck you want.
02:05:23.000 America.
02:05:23.000 Love it.
02:05:24.000 Crazy.
02:05:25.000 Yeah.
02:05:25.000 What a weird way to make a living.
02:05:28.000 Yeah, and then you do the same thing for like a TV show or something.
02:05:31.000 You have to type it out.
02:05:33.000 Yeah.
02:05:33.000 Send it to them.
02:05:34.000 They gotta look at it.
02:05:35.000 That's the beautiful thing about Netflix.
02:05:37.000 Netflix didn't say shit.
02:05:39.000 They just said, hey, we want to do a special with you.
02:05:42.000 I said, great.
02:05:43.000 Let's do it.
02:05:44.000 They said, okay, let's do it.
02:05:46.000 It was that easy.
02:05:47.000 We did it, and they said, okay, great, you did it.
02:05:49.000 We like it.
02:05:50.000 We'll put it up.
02:05:51.000 Boom.
02:05:51.000 I had to send Comedy Central a proof of concept.
02:05:55.000 I had to shoot the set in a small club, send it to them, and they're like, all right, okay.
02:06:02.000 Ugh.
02:06:02.000 Yeah.
02:06:03.000 Well, the good news is they approved.
02:06:06.000 It's on TV. And a special is always, in my opinion, really just an advertisement to get people to come see you.
02:06:13.000 Right, exactly.
02:06:14.000 Live.
02:06:14.000 So I'm glad the advertisement's out.
02:06:16.000 Oh yeah, me too.
02:06:17.000 I've said it before, I'll say it again while you're here, you're one of the best comics in the world.
02:06:21.000 For sure.
02:06:22.000 Listen, so many times people come up to me, Rogan was talking about you.
02:06:27.000 Like, I don't even have to be on the show.
02:06:30.000 They're like, Rogan's talking about you.
02:06:33.000 People will come to a show because you just spoke about me.
02:06:36.000 But it's true though, man.
02:06:37.000 You and I have been friends for 20, what?
02:06:41.000 28 years or some shit?
02:06:43.000 Something crazy.
02:06:44.000 It's a long fucking time.
02:06:46.000 But you've always been one of the best comics in the world, you know?
02:06:49.000 And I think right now...
02:06:50.000 Thank you, and you too, brother.
02:06:50.000 Your new shit, man.
02:06:52.000 Oh, yeah.
02:06:52.000 That you're doing, it's not even the special.
02:06:54.000 Yeah.
02:06:54.000 I was crying this weekend in Vegas.
02:06:56.000 That new thing...
02:06:56.000 I won't say what it is, but God damn, it's good.
02:06:59.000 It's really good, man.
02:07:01.000 I love that.
02:07:02.000 You know, I love the transition between when someone does a special to writing and working on new stuff.
02:07:07.000 Yeah, man.
02:07:07.000 Because then you just get this...
02:07:09.000 New angles and having to write shit.
02:07:13.000 It's like, I've been trying to tell this to Bobby Lee, who's another guy that is one of the best comics in the world.
02:07:18.000 And it's a fucking shame that Bobby Lee doesn't have a special.
02:07:21.000 And he doesn't, you know, it's like his thing is like, well, no, no, I won't be able to use that material anymore.
02:07:26.000 Exactly.
02:07:26.000 Like, yeah, but you'll write better stuff.
02:07:28.000 You'll be forced to.
02:07:30.000 I think he's shooting a special, though.
02:07:32.000 Yes, he's talking about it.
02:07:33.000 Yeah, because he asked me who directed mine.
02:07:35.000 So I was like, wait a minute, is Bobby about to shoot a special?
02:07:38.000 But he'll see what you've seen and what I'm seeing now, that how great it is to come up with a new set of material.
02:07:50.000 It's terrifying in first row.
02:07:52.000 Yeah, it's very terrifying.
02:07:54.000 I've had some amazing mediocre sets.
02:07:58.000 Jesus, I feel bad.
02:07:59.000 I know.
02:08:00.000 When you first trot out new stuff, it's like, you don't know.
02:08:04.000 Yeah.
02:08:04.000 You just don't know.
02:08:05.000 And then you said something the other day when we was in Vegas.
02:08:08.000 You was talking to Ali.
02:08:09.000 We was all in the back after the show about how you had a joke that was new.
02:08:14.000 It was working.
02:08:15.000 You wrote it.
02:08:16.000 It's new.
02:08:16.000 It was working.
02:08:17.000 And then you broke it by over-fixing it.
02:08:19.000 Yeah.
02:08:20.000 Then you had to take shit back out.
02:08:21.000 And that's happened to me during this...
02:08:23.000 New set of material too.
02:08:24.000 I started a joke, created it, and then broke it by overdoing stuff to it.
02:08:30.000 And then I had to like figure out what part that I put in there that threw it off and take it out and fix it back.
02:08:38.000 Well, it's always interesting to talk to someone that's really just a few years into comedy because then you've got to go over your own process and think about it more deeply.
02:08:46.000 One of the things that happens in jiu-jitsu is in jiu-jitsu you get better when you teach.
02:08:52.000 It's real strange.
02:08:53.000 A lot of guys that wind up getting a job teaching jiu-jitsu to beginners, their jiu-jitsu jumps.
02:08:59.000 It jumps up several notches.
02:09:01.000 It's really interesting.
02:09:02.000 And I think sometimes that happens with comedy.
02:09:03.000 So when we're dealing with something like Ali, shout out to Ali Makovsky, our friend Ali, she's only been doing comedy for what?
02:09:09.000 Four years?
02:09:10.000 Somewhere around four or five years.
02:09:11.000 And she's just coming into her own.
02:09:13.000 And she's what?
02:09:14.000 Was she 22?
02:09:15.000 22 or 23. 22 or 23. Very funny.
02:09:19.000 Very promising.
02:09:22.000 She was gonna come down and watch us she came to San Diego to watch when Tony and Andrew and I did that that giant arena down there because she's because she opens up for me all the time at the improv comedy store She's getting to be around all these assassins and she's getting to see it from the outside,
02:09:41.000 but that was her first time Opening and I was like because she said she was gonna come down to watch I said you want to do a set and she's like I was secretly hoping you would ask I said alright come on come do a set So she opened, she did 10 minutes in front of, you know, it's like 1,200 people.
02:09:55.000 It's a lot of people.
02:09:56.000 For her first big show in Vegas on a Friday night, she murdered.
02:09:59.000 And she did good.
02:10:00.000 She did great.
02:10:01.000 Super relaxed.
02:10:03.000 But when you're talking to someone who's up and coming like that, I love that.
02:10:07.000 I love talking to like Jesus.
02:10:10.000 Jesus Trio or like, you know, Frank Castillo or any of these guys coming up because you get a chance to talk to them about how you formulate stuff and you compare notes.
02:10:20.000 And sometimes they have interesting ways that they do it that I never considered, you know?
02:10:24.000 And sometimes people have interesting ways of thinking about their material.
02:10:28.000 They think about it when they go walk their dog.
02:10:29.000 They'll play their set in their ear.
02:10:31.000 Or, you know, when they go on hikes, they'll just go on a hike and think about one joke and try to work the joke out while they're hiking.
02:10:38.000 You can find out.
02:10:40.000 I've learned a lot from talking to younger comics too, so I get that completely.
02:10:44.000 The thing that's happening to you right now is the thing that happens to them, except the fact that you're far more skilled at it.
02:10:50.000 It's like they're trying to put together an act.
02:10:53.000 But you've already done it many, many times.
02:10:54.000 You've already put out specials and records so that when you're doing this, it's like, you know how to write jokes.
02:10:59.000 You're always writing new jokes.
02:11:00.000 You've been doing comedy forever.
02:11:01.000 But still, you're starting from jump.
02:11:03.000 When you start from zero, from ground zero, and then you try to put together an act that you hope people want to pay to see...
02:11:09.000 That's a terrifying spot.
02:11:10.000 Yeah, it's terrifying.
02:11:11.000 Yeah.
02:11:11.000 And then there was a part of it in this new set of material that I was doing wrong.
02:11:17.000 Like, just the style of joke that I was writing.
02:11:20.000 And I just felt off.
02:11:22.000 Like, even when some of the bits were working.
02:11:24.000 And then I was in Atlanta a few weeks ago.
02:11:28.000 And then it just hit me what I was doing wrong.
02:11:31.000 Mmm.
02:11:32.000 You do the Laughing Skull?
02:11:33.000 Yeah, I was doing Laughing Skull.
02:11:35.000 The best.
02:11:35.000 Yeah, it's a dope-ass club.
02:11:36.000 A dope little room.
02:11:37.000 Yeah, and it's a great room to go headlining when you're, like, got new material that you need to just work out.
02:11:45.000 Yeah.
02:11:46.000 I say about those rooms, like, the belly room and, like, the Laughing Skull, like, that's where you find out what's bullshit.
02:11:52.000 Yeah.
02:11:53.000 And I found out what was bullshit, for sure.
02:11:57.000 Yeah.
02:11:57.000 Because sometimes you can, like, song and dance your way through a 300-seat room and trick them.
02:12:02.000 Like, enough people will start laughing to get the other people laughing.
02:12:05.000 And then you'll kind of go along with it and with your delivery and you can kind of make funny out of it.
02:12:10.000 But there's no momentum with 70 people.
02:12:13.000 Yeah.
02:12:13.000 You have to, like, really make them laugh.
02:12:15.000 It's got to be real.
02:12:16.000 Yeah.
02:12:16.000 With 70 people, you got...
02:12:19.000 I did a Jeremiah Watkins show, Stand Up on the Spot on Tuesday.
02:12:24.000 That's the best example of that, because they're yelling out subjects.
02:12:28.000 And you find out.
02:12:32.000 But that also, like constructing a new set, what's interesting about it is that you get a chance to figure something out and make it real.
02:12:40.000 What Bobby Lee's doing right now is working with tried and true material.
02:12:46.000 Tried and proven.
02:12:47.000 He kills every night.
02:12:48.000 He knows it's going to kill.
02:12:49.000 If it didn't kill, he'd be stunned.
02:12:51.000 He'd be like, what?
02:12:52.000 This is my shit.
02:12:53.000 I've been killing with this for four years.
02:12:54.000 He knows what he's doing.
02:12:56.000 He's just a funny machine.
02:12:58.000 I don't even know how to describe it.
02:13:00.000 Just him.
02:13:01.000 He's just a funny-ass fucking...
02:13:03.000 So funny.
02:13:04.000 And not enough people know.
02:13:06.000 Because most people know him from podcasts, and that helps for sure.
02:13:09.000 And from television shows, that helps for sure.
02:13:11.000 But there needs to be something people can see of his stand-up.
02:13:14.000 So we're getting him.
02:13:15.000 He's listening.
02:13:16.000 It's like he's a slow, but he'll listen.
02:13:19.000 Take a little time.
02:13:20.000 He listens.
02:13:20.000 He's getting in there.
02:13:21.000 He's getting in there.
02:13:22.000 He's too good.
02:13:22.000 Yeah, he's too good.
02:13:23.000 The other one's Owen Smith.
02:13:24.000 Yeah, yes.
02:13:25.000 Owen Smith.
02:13:26.000 Too good.
02:13:27.000 Yeah.
02:13:27.000 Too good.
02:13:28.000 Has his own style.
02:13:29.000 Fucking funny.
02:13:30.000 He's a murderer.
02:13:31.000 Yeah, man.
02:13:32.000 He's a top flight headliner.
02:13:34.000 Yeah.
02:13:34.000 Not like a good headliner.
02:13:36.000 Like a top of the food chain headliner.
02:13:38.000 Yeah.
02:13:38.000 Like, if someone told me Owen Smith was selling out arenas, I'd be like, good.
02:13:42.000 Should have been happening a long time ago.
02:13:45.000 And as much as Kevin Hart or fucking fill in the blank, whoever can sell out giant-ass places, Owen Smith's material is as good as it gets.
02:13:55.000 It belongs in those places.
02:13:57.000 100%.
02:13:57.000 And sometimes these guys, they just don't do...
02:14:02.000 Yeah.
02:14:11.000 Yeah.
02:14:17.000 From stand-up.
02:14:18.000 Right.
02:14:19.000 And I think I went down that path when I was on Fear Factor.
02:14:22.000 Oh, yeah?
02:14:23.000 When I was on Fear Factor, I didn't really tour much.
02:14:24.000 You know, it was mostly just being around L.A. because we were filming so much.
02:14:28.000 Right.
02:14:29.000 We filmed so many episodes.
02:14:30.000 And you guys traveled a lot to different places?
02:14:32.000 Yeah.
02:14:33.000 Yeah.
02:14:34.000 That shit is exhausting, man.
02:14:36.000 Exhausting.
02:14:37.000 Yeah.
02:14:37.000 And it was exhausting, too, because you'd be filming all day.
02:14:40.000 You'd be out in the heat.
02:14:41.000 And then you would come back.
02:14:43.000 And after that, I would do stand-up at night.
02:14:46.000 And I was just like, I'm just going to do the store and then go home.
02:14:48.000 I wasn't going to travel anywhere.
02:14:50.000 I mean, I did a little bit, but not much.
02:14:53.000 So, it's like things can be good, where it's like it's great to have a good gig, but those things can be bad because it ultimately takes you away from your stand-up.
02:15:02.000 I mean, Louis C.K. said that to me once.
02:15:04.000 He was in the period...
02:15:07.000 After he stopped doing his show.
02:15:09.000 He just stopped doing it for a while.
02:15:11.000 And he said, I haven't done anything other than stand-up for a year.
02:15:14.000 And I said, what made you do that?
02:15:16.000 He goes, I just wanted to really concentrate on stand-up.
02:15:18.000 He said, I don't think you could be at your best while you do other things.
02:15:22.000 He goes, I think you could be good, but I think at your best, you really have to just do stand-up.
02:15:27.000 I think he's right.
02:15:28.000 Even if you don't do much in that day, and if you just write one line or one tag or something, it just counts so much towards the whole thing.
02:15:38.000 And by the end of the year, where you end up is going to be way further than you would have been.
02:15:44.000 I think it's not an even formula, though, because I do think that there's some value in taking some time and doing things as well.
02:15:51.000 There's value in vacations.
02:15:54.000 There's value in experiences.
02:15:57.000 And then there's also you have to do a lot of stand-up.
02:16:00.000 It's like both things are true.
02:16:01.000 Because if you only do stand-up, one of the things that does happen is guys lose their point of references.
02:16:06.000 Right.
02:16:06.000 Because their whole life revolves around traveling, so you get a lot of airplane jokes.
02:16:10.000 Right.
02:16:10.000 And it revolves around drinking, because people drink at clubs.
02:16:14.000 You don't have enough experiences.
02:16:15.000 Yeah.
02:16:15.000 You got to live a little.
02:16:16.000 Yes.
02:16:17.000 Yes.
02:16:18.000 To put it on the paper, to bring it on stage.
02:16:20.000 You gotta live a little.
02:16:21.000 I think that's something that gets missed.
02:16:23.000 But it's not a perfect formula.
02:16:25.000 It's also like, how much enthusiasm do you have?
02:16:28.000 Sometimes the more enthusiasm...
02:16:30.000 You feel good about it when you take time off and it makes you better.
02:16:33.000 Right.
02:16:38.000 We're good to go.
02:16:56.000 Wow.
02:17:10.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
02:17:12.000 And also, it's so insanely competitive, right?
02:17:15.000 There's so many people lined up ready to take your spot.
02:17:17.000 You can't get fat when you're on vacation.
02:17:19.000 But so is comedy.
02:17:20.000 It's like when you shoot a special and then the guy that couldn't follow you is killing because he still has his material.
02:17:30.000 That he's been had and you're like not doing as good because you're working on shit.
02:17:35.000 It kind of fucks with me a little bit.
02:17:39.000 You know what I mean?
02:17:40.000 Just the competitiveness of me.
02:17:41.000 And then I say, hey man, this is just a natural order of things.
02:17:45.000 Just keep doing what you're doing and everything is going to be fine.
02:17:49.000 You figure it out.
02:17:50.000 You're growing again.
02:17:51.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
02:18:01.000 Right.
02:18:03.000 Right.
02:18:11.000 You have to make...
02:18:13.000 That process is a real thing.
02:18:15.000 Right.
02:18:15.000 And there's going to be some sets just suck.
02:18:17.000 Yeah, man.
02:18:18.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:18:20.000 For sure.
02:18:21.000 Like, yeah.
02:18:22.000 Like, yeah.
02:18:23.000 You take one old joke, go on stage, and there's some butter...
02:18:30.000 But one thing is true for sure for me is that when someone like you is writing new stuff and that new stuff kills, like this past weekend, that makes me excited about writing new shit.
02:18:40.000 I go, oh my god, it's out there.
02:18:42.000 I gotta find it.
02:18:42.000 I gotta find the bits.
02:18:43.000 They're out there.
02:18:44.000 Look, he just found two giant juicy ones.
02:18:47.000 It's like someone coming back from a fishing trip.
02:18:49.000 Oh, is that tuna?
02:18:50.000 I'm calling tuna fish, man.
02:18:52.000 It's out there.
02:18:53.000 Oh, it's out there.
02:18:54.000 There's gold in San Francisco.
02:18:55.000 Yes.
02:18:55.000 Go dig it.
02:18:56.000 It's gold in them nar hills.
02:18:57.000 I always see you go find new material, so it's always good.
02:19:01.000 We both had new shit this weekend, and we're enthusiastic about it and excited about it, so it adds a different level to just going out to do a show that we would normally do.
02:19:13.000 And then we get to talk about it afterwards with the excitement of how new the material is and how it's coming along.
02:19:19.000 That's a level of fun right there.
02:19:21.000 You don't experience unless you're out there writing and growing.
02:19:25.000 Yeah, there's no other way around it.
02:19:26.000 And I think that's a metaphor for life.
02:19:29.000 I think the people that get stagnant in life, the thing is because you're not taking any chances.
02:19:33.000 You're not doing anything new.
02:19:34.000 You're not growing.
02:19:35.000 Yeah.
02:19:35.000 You gotta...
02:19:36.000 I mean, and artistically with stand-up, it's one of the rare art forms where you cannot do the old stuff.
02:19:41.000 Right.
02:19:41.000 They don't...
02:19:42.000 I mean, maybe if you're Jim Gaffigan, people want to hear Hot Pockets, but they also want to hear Our A New Shit.
02:19:47.000 Right.
02:19:47.000 You know, maybe if you're Burt Kreischer, they want to hear The Machine Story.
02:19:50.000 He says they get mad if he doesn't tell The Machine Story.
02:19:52.000 He doesn't tell The Machine Story.
02:19:53.000 They just take his shirt off.
02:19:54.000 They get mad at his clothes.
02:19:56.000 What if he starts taking his pants off and then just puts them back on?
02:19:59.000 They go, hey!
02:20:00.000 Hey!
02:20:00.000 Fucking pants on!
02:20:01.000 Why are you pants on, bro?
02:20:03.000 How dare you?
02:20:04.000 We're all party and pants free!
02:20:05.000 That'd be his new shirt.
02:20:07.000 Party and pants free.
02:20:08.000 Hilarious.
02:20:09.000 Party with no pants or party and pants free?
02:20:11.000 Party and pants free is better.
02:20:12.000 Party and pants free, yeah.
02:20:13.000 Yeah.
02:20:14.000 Bert Kreischer, there you go.
02:20:15.000 That's the name of your new special.
02:20:16.000 Party and pants free.
02:20:17.000 Just you fat as fuck with boxer shorts.
02:20:20.000 Talking shit about Sober October.
02:20:22.000 Tidy Whites would be way better.
02:20:23.000 Tidy Whites.
02:20:24.000 Go all in.
02:20:25.000 Yeah, but boxer shorts, when he moves funny, his dickhole will open up a little bit.
02:20:29.000 You can get a peer into the monster.
02:20:31.000 Well, how about just Speedos?
02:20:34.000 How about Burt on stage with Speedos on?
02:20:37.000 Speedos don't seem like a comfort move.
02:20:39.000 Seems like a bad decision.
02:20:42.000 That's not someone who really wants their dick to be caressed and cradled.
02:20:45.000 Speedos are like you're punishing your dick.
02:20:49.000 It's like a tent in a storm.
02:20:50.000 You're nailing it down.
02:20:52.000 Punishing it or showing it off.
02:20:53.000 Right.
02:20:54.000 If you've got a hog.
02:20:55.000 Instead of getting a penis enlargement, buy Speedos.
02:20:58.000 Yeah, just take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection.
02:21:04.000 Amen.
02:21:04.000 And then put a ring, a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood, constrict all the blood.
02:21:12.000 Yeah, that's a weird thing that someone figured that out, right?
02:21:15.000 Cock rings?
02:21:16.000 Yeah.
02:21:16.000 Hmm, how do I stay hard here?
02:21:20.000 There's got to be a way.
02:21:21.000 Just put a rubber band at the base of your dick.
02:21:23.000 Pre-viagra.
02:21:24.000 Yeah, yikes.
02:21:26.000 Mm-hmm.
02:21:27.000 Yeah, that's one thing that if they do ever come out, I used to have a bit about that, if they ever come out with a pill, like a boner or a dick enlargement pill, if that actually works, it'd be 30 seconds later the first dude would die of an overdose.
02:21:43.000 Oh yeah.
02:21:44.000 Yeah.
02:21:45.000 You're not going to just take one.
02:21:46.000 You're going to find out how many give me a stroke.
02:21:49.000 How big did you want it?
02:21:51.000 Jesus Christ.
02:21:52.000 Yeah, I had a whole, there was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people would still have sex but the dicks would get bigger and the women would develop these flying squirrel pussies.
02:22:02.000 They would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who were chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts.
02:22:07.000 Hilarious.
02:22:08.000 They'd grow wings.
02:22:09.000 Why are women growing wings?
02:22:11.000 Just to fit so people could mate.
02:22:14.000 Yeah.
02:22:15.000 Yeah, if you could grow a big...
02:22:16.000 Have you ever watched a porn and said, that's just too much?
02:22:20.000 Yeah.
02:22:21.000 Yeah.
02:22:21.000 It comes a certain point in time where, like, how big do you want your arms, right?
02:22:26.000 Yes.
02:22:26.000 Do you want a big arm or do you want an arm where the bicep touches your fingers when you go like this?
02:22:31.000 Right.
02:22:31.000 Do you want that?
02:22:32.000 Oh, you can't even move.
02:22:33.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
02:22:33.000 You can't even move.
02:22:34.000 It's too big.
02:22:34.000 Yeah.
02:22:35.000 Right?
02:22:35.000 Yeah.
02:22:35.000 That means you can never do this.
02:22:38.000 You can't do anything.
02:22:38.000 You're like this.
02:22:39.000 You probably can't even walk.
02:22:40.000 You're just too heavy.
02:22:41.000 You're probably waddling everywhere you go.
02:22:43.000 You weigh 600 pounds and you're 5'8".
02:22:45.000 How the fuck are you doing that, right?
02:22:47.000 There's too much.
02:22:49.000 You can get too much.
02:22:50.000 You can get too much dick.
02:22:52.000 But I bet it's like...
02:22:53.000 I bet it's like those girls who get body dysmorphia with their breast socks.
02:23:00.000 Some girls go crazy.
02:23:01.000 Like, they have triple E's and they need them in F. They get nuts.
02:23:04.000 They don't see it like the way you're saying it.
02:23:07.000 That's how it happens with anorexics, bodybuilders.
02:23:10.000 Yeah.
02:23:12.000 Yeah.
02:23:13.000 And it's goddamn bananas.
02:23:14.000 It is.
02:23:16.000 The dick thing is a weird one, right?
02:23:19.000 Yeah, it's definitely going to happen since women overdo it with the breast size.
02:23:25.000 Like you said, they can't see how weird it looks.
02:23:30.000 Yeah, it's a normal thing with humans.
02:23:31.000 Yeah.
02:23:32.000 Have you seen those guys that inject their muscles with oil?
02:23:36.000 It makes their muscles swell up like balloons.
02:23:38.000 It looks so fake, but they don't see it.
02:23:41.000 It's body dysmorphia.
02:23:43.000 It's the same thing that an anorexic gets when they don't recognize that they look like a skeleton.
02:23:47.000 When we was at the airport in Vegas and we're waiting for your pool thing, there was this chick and she had like a weird butt.
02:23:56.000 Poor girl.
02:23:57.000 And it wasn't real.
02:23:59.000 And you could tell, only she didn't know that it didn't look real.
02:24:03.000 She probably thought it looked amazing, right?
02:24:05.000 Yeah, she was walking around with pure confidence.
02:24:08.000 Look at that, bitch.
02:24:10.000 Yeah.
02:24:10.000 People get strange because the butt thing is treated differently than the boob thing.
02:24:15.000 Like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot.
02:24:19.000 Yes.
02:24:20.000 But a woman with really large fake butt is like, come on.
02:24:23.000 Yeah, that comes off crazy.
02:24:25.000 Yeah.
02:24:26.000 And fake lips.
02:24:28.000 It's another one.
02:24:29.000 That's crazy too.
02:24:30.000 Yeah.
02:24:31.000 Yeah, we have rules.
02:24:33.000 It's weird.
02:24:35.000 Yeah, fake lips is like, what am I supposed to do?
02:24:39.000 Just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now?
02:24:41.000 Well, it's also, it fucks with your, apparently we have an, when we see a certain person, when we see people's faces, we have an expectation to where things are going to be, based on where things are.
02:24:54.000 Right.
02:24:54.000 It's all like the Fibonacci sequence.
02:24:56.000 Like the golden ratio, the way your face is designed.
02:24:59.000 Like Ari Shafir.
02:25:00.000 If Ari Shafir had a tiny nose, you'd be like, what is wrong with your face?
02:25:04.000 Your face is supposed to have a big nose.
02:25:06.000 This is like how you're...
02:25:07.000 That style of face is supposed to come with that style of nose.
02:25:10.000 Yeah.
02:25:10.000 And if it doesn't, it's weird.
02:25:12.000 But then you look at a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons, there's a little nose.
02:25:15.000 If he had Ari's nose, you'd be like, what is that nose doing on your face?
02:25:18.000 This is crazy.
02:25:19.000 It's like you fuck with that when you do something to make something bigger or wider with your face.
02:25:27.000 You know how people get tattoos and different things?
02:25:29.000 Suppose people start enlarging areas of their face.
02:25:33.000 You're just getting bigger hairs, bigger noses.
02:25:36.000 What if big ears come into face?
02:25:39.000 Dumbo ears.
02:25:40.000 It's a new thing.
02:25:41.000 Well, how about those holes where people stretch?
02:25:43.000 They do those cages and they pull their fucking ear hole out.
02:25:46.000 They put that...
02:25:48.000 Earring hole at the bottom, make it giant.
02:25:50.000 Yeah.
02:25:50.000 Like a hoop.
02:25:51.000 That's bananas.
02:25:52.000 Yeah.
02:25:53.000 Like, what are you doing to your ears?
02:25:54.000 Yeah.
02:25:55.000 Like, I don't want to fuck up the chance of me not being able to hear some shit.
02:26:00.000 I don't think it does.
02:26:01.000 I don't think it does, but it's just...
02:26:03.000 I'm not doing anything personally that's close to anything that I need.
02:26:08.000 I need this for what I need this for.
02:26:11.000 I'm not going to do anything to it that might...
02:26:13.000 Jeopardize it in any way.
02:26:14.000 I always feel like that about cauliflower ear, too.
02:26:17.000 I go to all the years that I did jujitsu, I don't have cauliflower ear because I always wore ear guards.
02:26:22.000 Right.
02:26:23.000 It's like, if you fuck with the shape of your ear, it fucks with the way sound goes in there.
02:26:29.000 Oh, man.
02:26:29.000 Like, take your ear and then talk.
02:26:31.000 Go blah, blah, blah.
02:26:32.000 Now, put the tips of your fingers on the top of your ear and then fold them down.
02:26:37.000 La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
02:26:39.000 It changes the way sounds are.
02:26:41.000 It changes sound.
02:26:42.000 Like, this helps sound.
02:26:43.000 These are speakers.
02:26:44.000 These are bows.
02:26:45.000 Right, exactly.
02:26:46.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:26:46.000 Yeah, you're fucking with your bows.
02:26:48.000 You're fucking with your bows.
02:26:48.000 Mm-hmm.
02:26:49.000 It's the shape.
02:26:50.000 Nature figured out a shape to collect all that sound and get it inside your ear holes.
02:26:55.000 But when you're outside of your ear, it's like a rock.
02:26:58.000 Like a lot of these wrestlers and jiu-jitsu guys, it's all calcified.
02:27:02.000 So with that cauliflower ear, I don't know if you ever touched a cauliflower ear?
02:27:06.000 No.
02:27:06.000 It's like a rock under the surface.
02:27:08.000 It's like a calcium rock.
02:27:10.000 That's what it's like.
02:27:11.000 Because what it is, is the break in the skin, it swells up because it bleeds, and then that blood calcifies and hardens.
02:27:20.000 And the only way to fix it, my friend Brett had his fixed.
02:27:25.000 Brent, my friend Brent had it fixed.
02:27:28.000 They had to cut his ear like a fish.
02:27:31.000 They had to fillet it.
02:27:31.000 And then they had to open it up and scrape out all the hard tissue and then sew it back up together.
02:27:37.000 And he couldn't do jujitsu forever.
02:27:40.000 Because if he did jujitsu again after the operation, it would break open and start bleeding again.
02:27:45.000 Damn.
02:27:45.000 Yeah.
02:27:46.000 I was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part.
02:27:49.000 I've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here.
02:27:51.000 Oh, I've seen that, yeah.
02:27:52.000 But this guy took it to a whole other fucking spot.
02:27:56.000 Oh, my God.
02:27:56.000 Oh, is it his nose?
02:27:58.000 Oh, my God.
02:27:58.000 You can see inside his nose and shit.
02:28:00.000 Oh, my God.
02:28:01.000 That is insane.
02:28:02.000 But, like, that definitely fucks with his hearing, 100%.
02:28:05.000 Oh, yeah, 100%.
02:28:06.000 He's got a giant gauge hole in the bottom and a medium gauge hole in the top and then big ones on his nostrils where his nostrils he has like the bottom hole where his nostrils are and then above the nostril he's got two huge holes where you can see the septum.
02:28:23.000 He opened up the side of his nostrils.
02:28:25.000 A quarter size hole easily, right?
02:28:27.000 I can't say that dude's real happy.
02:28:29.000 I just don't see it.
02:28:30.000 I don't understand that look.
02:28:33.000 But hey.
02:28:34.000 Hey man.
02:28:35.000 What are you going to do?
02:28:38.000 Ian Edwards will be with me with Dave Chappelle in Tacoma, Washington, and then Salt Lake City.
02:28:44.000 Salt Lake City the next day, which is August 3rd, tickets just went on sale.
02:28:49.000 Damn, so...
02:28:49.000 I don't think so.
02:28:51.000 I think they're on sale on Friday.
02:28:53.000 Yeah.
02:28:53.000 But they went on pre-soil.
02:28:55.000 The way Dave does it, you have to register as a legit fan, like a human being.
02:29:01.000 They have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency that's scalping these tickets and buying them up in Massachusetts.
02:29:05.000 And then selling them back.
02:29:06.000 So Ian Edwards, you have to show your driver's license or something.
02:29:10.000 I don't know how they verify it.
02:29:11.000 And then once you register, then you could buy the tickets.
02:29:15.000 And it's for those people for a while.
02:29:17.000 And then after that, then it's opened up to the general public, I think, on Saturday.
02:29:22.000 Something like that.
02:29:23.000 But Ian's going to be with me.
02:29:26.000 Donnell...
02:29:26.000 I don't know if...
02:29:26.000 Rollins?
02:29:27.000 Yeah, I don't know if that's been announced, but I just announced it.
02:29:29.000 Donnell Rollins is going to be there, too.
02:29:31.000 I'm fucking pumped.
02:29:32.000 We're going to have some fun.
02:29:33.000 That's going to be crazy.
02:29:33.000 Those are going to be wild.
02:29:34.000 That's going to be fucking crazy, bro.
02:29:36.000 Like, if this weekend was crazy, that weekend is going to be fucking crazy.
02:29:39.000 Tacoma sold out in a day.
02:29:41.000 20,000 people.
02:29:42.000 It's going to be nuts.
02:29:43.000 No sleep.
02:29:44.000 I'm not expecting any sleep.
02:29:46.000 No, we're going to have some fun.
02:29:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:29:47.000 It's going to be crazy.
02:29:49.000 Yeah.
02:29:49.000 All right, so tell people your special.
02:29:51.000 It's this weekend.
02:29:53.000 Friday, this Friday, July 12th on Comedy Central at midnight.
02:29:57.000 Check it out.
02:29:58.000 Ian Talks.
02:29:59.000 Bill Burr presents Ian Talk.
02:30:00.000 And if it, once it, All Things Comedy did it, right?
02:30:03.000 Yeah, All Things Comedy.
02:30:04.000 Beautiful.
02:30:04.000 And then once it's out, will it be able to be streamed on Comedy Central's streaming service?
02:30:09.000 Yeah, download the app or just go to ComedyCentral.com and you'll be able to see it there.
02:30:13.000 Beautiful.
02:30:14.000 Yeah.
02:30:14.000 Powerful Ian Edwards.
02:30:15.000 Thanks, brother.
02:30:16.000 Thank you, my friend.
02:30:17.000 Much love.
02:30:18.000 Bye-bye.