The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1333

00:00:03.000 You definitely shouldn't make those noises to start off a podcast, Tom Papa.

00:00:06.000 What are you doing?

00:00:07.000 You're freaking people out.

00:00:08.000 What is it called?

00:00:09.000 ASMR? Do you know what that is?

00:00:11.000 Yeah, like when you...

00:00:12.000 People like certain sounds?

00:00:14.000 Yeah.

00:00:14.000 They find them soothing?

00:00:16.000 I don't think that's one of them.

00:00:17.000 This is what I use to drive my kids crazy.

00:00:19.000 I say it's a spoon in mac and cheese.

00:00:24.000 Yeah, they're like, oh my god, I thought my dad was funny professionally.

00:00:27.000 This is ridiculous.

00:00:28.000 They probably think they're going to starve to death.

00:00:30.000 This is crazy.

00:00:32.000 My younger one, who's like comedian funny, this is her thing.

00:00:37.000 So she doesn't care about parents or what we're doing.

00:00:40.000 She's just out for herself.

00:00:42.000 Whenever I make a joke around the house that I think is funny, she just goes, huh, jokes.

00:01:04.000 I think?

00:01:14.000 Me.

00:01:15.000 You?

00:01:16.000 Yeah.

00:01:16.000 Really?

00:01:17.000 I'm pretty funny.

00:01:18.000 You're very funny.

00:01:19.000 But you came from no problems at all?

00:01:21.000 I think every kid...

00:01:22.000 Did you move around a lot?

00:01:24.000 I moved once, one town over, and it traumatized me.

00:01:27.000 In third grade.

00:01:28.000 Third grade?

00:01:29.000 Yeah.

00:01:29.000 I'm still not over it.

00:01:31.000 Really?

00:01:31.000 But I think that everybody has, I think as a child, even if it's not real heavy stuff, it feels heavy to you.

00:01:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:40.000 Like my father was super strict and like, you know, spanked us and stuff and I was like this nervous, you know what I mean?

00:01:48.000 So I think you can grow up pretty normal and be pretty funny, you know?

00:01:53.000 It's like a line with kids.

00:01:55.000 It's like you don't want to be mad at them, but you can't let them get away with too much.

00:02:00.000 Yeah.

00:02:01.000 So you have to go, hey, hey, seriously, stop screaming at me.

00:02:04.000 Stop this.

00:02:05.000 Yeah.

00:02:05.000 Like, you can't do this.

00:02:07.000 Because every now and then, they'll test.

00:02:10.000 Totally.

00:02:10.000 Because they fight amongst each other.

00:02:12.000 Like, I have daughters that are two years apart.

00:02:13.000 They'll fight amongst each other.

00:02:14.000 That's what I am.

00:02:15.000 And every now and then, they'll turn it on you.

00:02:16.000 And you're like, hey, hey, hey.

00:02:17.000 Yeah, hey.

00:02:18.000 I didn't touch your toys.

00:02:20.000 I'm not wearing your pants.

00:02:21.000 Yeah, I'm the good guy.

00:02:23.000 No, it is a weird thing, especially when you know how you were as a kid.

00:02:28.000 And, you know, we've got daughters, and they're probably similar, where they're not as nutso as we were when we were little.

00:02:36.000 But you still have to bring the hammer down, even though you think it's kind of funny, or you think it's not that big a deal.

00:02:42.000 You have to lay down the law, even if...

00:02:47.000 You don't feel it.

00:02:49.000 You have to enforce some guidelines, and then you have to communicate about why those guidelines exist.

00:02:53.000 What I didn't get enough of, I think, when I was a kid is communication about why those guidelines exist.

00:02:58.000 Because in the moment, the kid's not going to internalize it.

00:03:01.000 They're going to be mad.

00:03:01.000 I wanted to do this, and I wanted to do that.

00:03:04.000 And they just have it in their head.

00:03:05.000 I want to play one more game.

00:03:06.000 Why can't I just play one more game?

00:03:08.000 They'll just get freaked out.

00:03:09.000 Because what we heard was, because I said so.

00:03:12.000 Yes, exactly.

00:03:13.000 There was no reason.

00:03:14.000 There was nothing behind it.

00:03:15.000 Just go to bed.

00:03:16.000 Why at 7 o'clock?

00:03:18.000 Because I said so.

00:03:19.000 All right.

00:03:20.000 Yeah, well, we don't put parameters on play, though, like as much.

00:03:24.000 We put parameters on, you can only have a certain amount of television time, a certain amount of video game time.

00:03:29.000 Mm-hmm.

00:03:29.000 But as far as play-play, like doing stuff, like playing in the pool or doing other stuff, I don't feel like there's any...

00:03:35.000 You could play in the pool all day.

00:03:37.000 All day.

00:03:38.000 I'm happy for it.

00:03:40.000 It's interesting, right?

00:03:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:42.000 And it's probably...

00:03:44.000 They're learning more from that than anything else that they would be doing.

00:03:47.000 Right, but it's purely play.

00:03:48.000 But all play is not considered equal.

00:03:50.000 Like play when you're sedentary in front of a video screen and you're playing some silly video game.

00:03:55.000 Right.

00:03:56.000 And you're just sitting there, and just your brain, to be physical, to be out, to be doing something.

00:04:00.000 But they do have this one game that I'll let them play for a long time.

00:04:03.000 It's this crazy dance game.

00:04:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:04:05.000 Dance Revolution?

00:04:06.000 I don't know what it's called, but they dance.

00:04:08.000 And you mimic the thing?

00:04:09.000 They dance to, what's her face?

00:04:12.000 Crazy.

00:04:12.000 What's Crazy's face?

00:04:13.000 Oops, I did it again.

00:04:14.000 Britney Spears.

00:04:15.000 They dance to, you better work, bitch.

00:04:18.000 You want a Maserati?

00:04:19.000 You better work.

00:04:22.000 It's hilarious.

00:04:24.000 But that's exercise.

00:04:25.000 Have you done it with them?

00:04:26.000 Yes.

00:04:27.000 It's funny.

00:04:28.000 I've only done it, honestly, a couple times.

00:04:30.000 They've probably played it a million times.

00:04:32.000 But you have to coordinate your movements to mirror the person on the screen.

00:04:37.000 But my instincts are to not mirror, but to do what he's doing.

00:04:42.000 If his right arm's going up, my right's going up.

00:04:44.000 Because that's how you get taught in martial arts.

00:04:46.000 Uh-huh.

00:04:47.000 I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing that or if I'm supposed to be just mirroring him.

00:04:50.000 Like when he lifts up his right arm, am I supposed to lift up my left arm?

00:04:54.000 Because that's the one that faces me?

00:04:56.000 Is that how you're supposed to do it?

00:04:57.000 No.

00:04:57.000 You do whatever you see.

00:04:59.000 Yeah, but then you have to switch it over in your head.

00:05:02.000 Why don't you...

00:05:03.000 That arm?

00:05:03.000 Okay, I'll go with you.

00:05:04.000 I'll do this arm.

00:05:05.000 Well, you shouldn't be high when you do this with your children.

00:05:08.000 That's the only way I'm going to do it.

00:05:11.000 It seems like, though, that it would be easier for all involved, if you just had the mirror, not do the same exact side of their body as your body.

00:05:21.000 I don't know.

00:05:22.000 I've never gotten that deep because I've done it and then quickly became exhausted and just pretended I thought it was stupid so I could lay down.

00:05:29.000 Well, it's critical in martial arts that you, like, if you're learning something, if you prefer, like, especially kickboxing.

00:05:36.000 For most fighters, most fighters have one good side and one side that they're not so good at.

00:05:42.000 Right.

00:05:43.000 And, like, the really great fighters, like, one of the best in the world today is Terrence Crawford.

00:05:48.000 And one of the things about him is he can fight equally well from southpaw or from orthodoxy.

00:05:53.000 Oh, really?

00:05:53.000 Yeah.

00:05:54.000 So will he switch his stance?

00:05:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:05:56.000 He'll do whatever he wants.

00:05:57.000 Wow.

00:05:58.000 He just fucks people up.

00:05:59.000 He does whatever he wants.

00:06:00.000 I mean, he fights really top-shelf competition, too, and he's just so technical and so clever at figuring people out.

00:06:07.000 But I think he has a giant advantage in that he literally is as good a southpaw as he is at orthodox.

00:06:13.000 He can box the best boxers in the world orthodox.

00:06:16.000 Right.

00:06:17.000 Right.

00:06:17.000 And then they just switch up southpaw on them.

00:06:19.000 He might be a little better as a southpaw, but goddamn it's so close.

00:06:23.000 It might also be that he's fucking their head up because they fought him one way and then he switches stances and starts fucking them up the other way.

00:06:29.000 Is he born that way?

00:06:30.000 No, no.

00:06:31.000 It's a learned thing.

00:06:32.000 But my point would be, if you had a southpaw instructor and he was teaching you and you were mirroring him, it would be weird.

00:06:39.000 Right, right, right.

00:06:40.000 If someone's teaching you something, you want to see how their body's doing it and mimic their movements.

00:06:47.000 You want to see it and mimic their movements.

00:06:49.000 You don't want to mirror it.

00:06:50.000 That would be too confusing.

00:06:52.000 Which is interesting because it seems like the mirroring would work better if it was the stupid video game.

00:06:57.000 You know, cause like, lift your arm.

00:06:58.000 I'll do what you do.

00:06:59.000 Lift the leg.

00:07:00.000 I'll do what you do.

00:07:02.000 Kickboxing or any, I think any martial arts style.

00:07:05.000 Yeah.

00:07:06.000 No, it's messed you up.

00:07:07.000 You can't be a good dance revolutionary.

00:07:09.000 Someone's gotta walk you through it too.

00:07:11.000 Dance, dance, revolutionary.

00:07:12.000 I'm probably doing everything wrong.

00:07:13.000 I'm probably risking all these joints.

00:07:16.000 You know who could dance?

00:07:18.000 Like, really dance?

00:07:19.000 Fahim.

00:07:20.000 Fahim?

00:07:20.000 Do you know Fahim Anwar?

00:07:21.000 No.

00:07:22.000 You don't know him from the store?

00:07:23.000 Is he on tomorrow?

00:07:24.000 He's on tomorrow.

00:07:25.000 He's hilarious.

00:07:26.000 Oh, yeah?

00:07:26.000 Really funny guy.

00:07:27.000 But his Instagram is filled with him dancing.

00:07:31.000 Oh, really?

00:07:32.000 Yeah.

00:07:32.000 But he dances really good.

00:07:34.000 Yeah.

00:07:35.000 And I was watching this, and I got a little self-conscious watching this.

00:07:39.000 I was like, I don't think I could do any of this.

00:07:42.000 And if I had to do this, like, watch.

00:07:44.000 Watch him dance.

00:07:45.000 I was like, if I had to do this, I would be so self-conscious that I was doing this.

00:07:49.000 Like, look, he's really good.

00:07:50.000 Yeah.

00:07:51.000 I made a New Year's resolution this year that I was going to dance more.

00:07:55.000 Yeah.

00:07:56.000 And I haven't done it because of the same thing.

00:07:59.000 I always feel like someone, Carol Liefer once said to me, you look like a guy who's never danced in his life.

00:08:05.000 I was like, what do you mean?

00:08:07.000 I've got some flow.

00:08:08.000 Carol Liefer, she's fucking hilarious.

00:08:10.000 Is he in Venice?

00:08:36.000 You're not like an asshole if you dance like that.

00:08:39.000 Good point.

00:08:41.000 Right?

00:08:41.000 Oh, for sure.

00:08:42.000 That's a happy fella.

00:08:43.000 That's a happy fella.

00:08:44.000 He's a super nice guy.

00:08:45.000 Super smart guy.

00:08:46.000 Oh, cool.

00:08:46.000 He had some sort of a technical job, didn't he?

00:08:49.000 Wasn't he like on...

00:08:50.000 We'll figure it out.

00:08:51.000 I don't know.

00:08:52.000 Someone told me he had some very intellectually strenuous job and then decided to bail on that to be a comedian.

00:09:02.000 Yeah.

00:09:02.000 Which makes sense.

00:09:03.000 That's interesting.

00:09:04.000 I hope that's a true story.

00:09:05.000 Yeah.

00:09:05.000 You never know with people, man.

00:09:07.000 I know.

00:09:07.000 You know?

00:09:08.000 I know.

00:09:12.000 I think that we probably could take a dance class together.

00:09:15.000 Dude, I don't want to learn how to dance like that.

00:09:17.000 I'm worried about my meniscus.

00:09:18.000 My wife can really move.

00:09:20.000 I have a meniscus issue.

00:09:21.000 Oh, yeah?

00:09:21.000 What's that?

00:09:22.000 I tore something in my meniscus.

00:09:24.000 What's the meniscus?

00:09:25.000 In your knee?

00:09:25.000 It's the padding in between your knee, in between your bones.

00:09:28.000 You tore it?

00:09:29.000 Yeah, not that bad.

00:09:30.000 Like, it's a little tear, and I've been trying to deal with it without surgery, with stem cells.

00:09:34.000 Oh, boy.

00:09:38.000 You're really good at kicking.

00:09:39.000 One of my favorite things is kicking things.

00:09:40.000 It's hard for me to not kick things for a long time.

00:09:43.000 And when I don't kick things, I just don't feel as good.

00:09:47.000 We all have our things.

00:09:48.000 Some people dance, some people kick things.

00:09:50.000 I feel good when I hit that fucking bag.

00:09:53.000 I like to smoke weed.

00:09:54.000 I smoke like two or three hits.

00:09:56.000 I get to a state of mind where I just feel my tendons.

00:10:02.000 I feel my muscles and my bones.

00:10:04.000 And then I just like to fucking zone out.

00:10:07.000 I'll put on some Led Zeppelin or something like that.

00:10:15.000 And I'll just start going off on the bag.

00:10:18.000 And it becomes like you feel like you're just riding a wave of movement.

00:10:25.000 You're not even thinking about it.

00:10:27.000 You're not thinking about anything other than making sure that you don't do anything stupid in terms of launching a strike when the bag's in the wrong place where you could jam yourself or hurt yourself.

00:10:37.000 So it's like you're just flowing around the bag.

00:10:39.000 And it's just like you don't even have to hit it your hardest.

00:10:42.000 It's more like you're in a dance.

00:10:45.000 Mm-hmm.

00:10:45.000 And you're expressing yourself with the movements.

00:10:48.000 But is there an age where that becomes like, I'm going to start tearing stuff a lot?

00:10:53.000 Well, I just turned 52. I think it's about 51. Yeah.

00:10:57.000 It might be time to concentrate on yoga.

00:11:00.000 I love the yoga, too.

00:11:01.000 Yoga's good, but it probably doesn't give you the same rush.

00:11:04.000 It's a different rush.

00:11:04.000 They're both great rushes, though.

00:11:06.000 Yoga's a great rush.

00:11:07.000 Yoga's great.

00:11:08.000 The thing about the hitting things, though, that it leaves nothing, no violence in you.

00:11:13.000 I don't know if that's real or if that's just, I've been doing it so long that it's just a normal part of my life.

00:11:19.000 When I don't do it, I'm like a baby, and I want no aggression juice left in my body.

00:11:25.000 I want to pound it all out.

00:11:26.000 Nothing pounds it all out like hitting the bag.

00:11:29.000 Yoga just straightens your brain out.

00:11:31.000 Yeah, it's more of a mellow thing.

00:11:33.000 But it straightens you out more without indulging you.

00:11:37.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:41.000 It's like food, right?

00:11:44.000 It's like if you were addicted to something, if you were doing it so often that you just needed to gorge and that's all you did, but you just kept getting fat because of that.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:56.000 You'd have to stop.

00:11:57.000 And you would realize you'd have this urge to gorge.

00:12:01.000 So I always wonder, when I want to do it, is that my urge to gorge?

00:12:06.000 Do I just want to go fucking crazy and be self-indulgent?

00:12:10.000 Is that what it is?

00:12:11.000 Or is it that I'm really recognizing that there's a need that people have to have some explosive movements?

00:12:19.000 And that if you get rid of that need, whether for me it's running up hills is a big one.

00:12:23.000 It's one of the reasons why I like it.

00:12:24.000 It's challenging.

00:12:25.000 And it leaves me completely spent.

00:12:27.000 And I feel like I'm a nicer person.

00:12:29.000 I feel like I feel nicer.

00:12:31.000 I want to be nicer to people.

00:12:32.000 So that's not an aggressive hitting thing, though.

00:12:34.000 But it's explosive.

00:12:35.000 It's just, wah, because you're going up this fucking hill.

00:12:38.000 Yeah.

00:12:38.000 There are heavy hills out here.

00:12:40.000 Would you feel the same way getting off of a treadmill?

00:12:43.000 No.

00:12:44.000 Or like when you do the elliptical?

00:12:45.000 Yeah, that's great.

00:12:46.000 I mean, that feels great.

00:12:47.000 Right.

00:12:48.000 But there's something about an actual physical hill that's outside in nature.

00:12:53.000 You feel like, what if something was chasing me?

00:12:55.000 Can I get away?

00:12:56.000 How long can I do this for?

00:12:57.000 What if I have to catch somebody?

00:12:58.000 How could I get them?

00:12:59.000 Yeah.

00:13:00.000 Like, what if, you know, horrible things happen if I don't reach the top of this hill?

00:13:04.000 Yeah, I always loved running through the woods.

00:13:07.000 Ooh, scary.

00:13:08.000 But it's exciting.

00:13:09.000 There's something primal about it.

00:13:10.000 There's something more at play than just, I'm just running down the street.

00:13:16.000 Yeah.

00:13:17.000 But I think that...

00:13:18.000 I have to write something down or I'm going to forget it.

00:13:21.000 I think...

00:13:22.000 I have this thing about the woods that I keep forgetting to do.

00:13:25.000 I think that what you're describing in having the kick is...

00:13:30.000 I equate it to stand-up.

00:13:32.000 It's like I'm no longer the same person when I'm not doing stand-up for several days.

00:13:37.000 And I think it's because I learned it.

00:13:39.000 I created this addiction.

00:13:42.000 I created this thing that I no longer am the same person without it.

00:13:47.000 You became a junkie.

00:13:48.000 Yeah.

00:13:49.000 We're all for sure laugh junkies.

00:13:51.000 I think we are so lucky that regular people don't know what it feels like to get a big laugh.

00:13:56.000 Yeah.

00:13:57.000 Or they would do it.

00:13:58.000 No one would do any other job.

00:14:00.000 I know.

00:14:01.000 They'd be like, fuck these other jobs.

00:14:02.000 I want to kill.

00:14:03.000 I think about that every time I walk through Vegas.

00:14:06.000 And you see all these people like...

00:14:07.000 Drinking at the tables, and they're trying to get a rush.

00:14:11.000 They're trying to get something.

00:14:12.000 And you walk around with this secret in your mind that, like, I'm getting something so much more potent than you're going to get out here just from being on stage.

00:14:21.000 Joey Diaz did this bit the other night in the original room, and it was so hilarious.

00:14:25.000 It was really fresh, and you could tell because it was making him laugh.

00:14:28.000 And he was laughing.

00:14:30.000 You know Joey's got that, ha ha!

00:14:34.000 Fucking dying laughing, and I'm in the back of the room, and I'm like, you can't get any happier than that.

00:14:38.000 That's as happy as a person can get.

00:14:40.000 In those bursts of moments, other than the love of your children, that is as happy as you can ever get.

00:14:46.000 Yeah, a new line, and it's working.

00:14:48.000 The only thing that eclipses it is the love.

00:14:49.000 Family love, people you care about, that's the only thing that eclipses it.

00:14:53.000 No, you're right.

00:14:54.000 But everybody can get that.

00:14:55.000 Everybody can get the family love.

00:14:56.000 So everybody can get the best kind of love.

00:14:58.000 Yes.

00:14:59.000 But it all takes work.

00:15:00.000 Oh, fuck yeah.

00:15:01.000 But I think when you have...

00:15:04.000 I mean, it could be so small, too.

00:15:05.000 It could be like one line that you added to an old joke that works.

00:15:09.000 Mm-hmm.

00:15:10.000 Your whole night is different.

00:15:12.000 Your whole drive home is like, yes!

00:15:15.000 Where if you don't try something and you just kind of go through it, it's not as satisfying.

00:15:21.000 So you constantly have to keep pushing because you need that more potent rush.

00:15:25.000 But the other side of it is, if I have a set and everything's amazing except one new line that I tried that ate shit...

00:15:33.000 That one new line will haunt me for days.

00:15:37.000 You're like, why did I say it that way?

00:15:39.000 Yeah.

00:15:40.000 Idiot.

00:15:41.000 I know.

00:15:42.000 It's like you're managing this weird thing.

00:15:44.000 You know, like your act is this weird thing that you're producing and managing it.

00:15:49.000 Yeah.

00:15:49.000 Oh, constantly.

00:15:50.000 Constantly.

00:15:51.000 Constantly in your head, constantly tweaking, constantly trying to express, trying to...

00:15:56.000 Have something that you think, oh, this is...

00:15:59.000 It's almost like the cockier you are, it's so rare when you feel like this is going to be a great one.

00:16:05.000 And you bring it up and it works.

00:16:07.000 You know what I mean?

00:16:08.000 It never matches expectations.

00:16:11.000 But if you think, maybe this will work.

00:16:13.000 Those I love because they surprise you.

00:16:15.000 It's like...

00:16:16.000 This is funnier than even I thought.

00:16:18.000 Yes, those are interesting, right?

00:16:19.000 The setup is actually the funniest part of the joke.

00:16:23.000 People are dying laughing at something in the setup, and you're like, oh yeah, okay, I see.

00:16:27.000 Oh my god, why didn't I see that?

00:16:28.000 And then you're like, yeah, that's funnier.

00:16:31.000 That's the funnier part of it.

00:16:33.000 But that's one of the weird things about having to do it in front of people.

00:16:36.000 You have to do it in front of people.

00:16:37.000 There's no other way.

00:16:38.000 You can't really practice stand-up in a vacuum.

00:16:41.000 No, I know.

00:16:42.000 Back to the premise thing.

00:16:44.000 Chris Rock said that to me once.

00:16:46.000 He said, that's the greatest secret in comedy.

00:16:49.000 He goes, it's the setup.

00:16:51.000 That's the real joke.

00:16:53.000 He said, the punchline, that's kind of icing.

00:16:56.000 But you're nailing the joke in the setup.

00:17:00.000 Yeah, and if you fuck up a setup, even if the rest of the joke is good, they always remember that fucked up part of the setup.

00:17:06.000 Yeah, why do you say it like that?

00:17:09.000 Why do you say that?

00:17:10.000 It's such a weird little dance you play with your head.

00:17:14.000 Yeah.

00:17:14.000 You're trying to put it all in line and get all the bits together correctly.

00:17:18.000 How big was that crowd you played?

00:17:19.000 I saw on Instagram this weekend.

00:17:21.000 Oh, that was in Portland, Portland, Oregon.

00:17:23.000 It was big.

00:17:24.000 It looked huge.

00:17:25.000 Yeah, it was like 10,000 people.

00:17:27.000 Now, what is that doing to your act and your performance?

00:17:31.000 You have to slow down a little bit because it's so loud.

00:17:35.000 You have to give them a little bit more time because I went to see Louis Black once.

00:17:43.000 I didn't even realize this, and I had actually done theaters already, and I was even doing the very theater that he was in.

00:17:49.000 And Joey Diaz and I were sitting in the back of this big theater that Louis Black was playing in, and we watched him.

00:17:56.000 And he would hit a punchline, and all these people around us would be laughing really loud.

00:18:01.000 And then he'd hit the tag, and I couldn't hear the tag, because there were so many people laughing at the punchline.

00:18:07.000 I was like, oh.

00:18:09.000 Right.

00:18:10.000 It really cemented in my head.

00:18:11.000 I was like, oh, this is a whole different feeling for the audience member than a club.

00:18:16.000 Right.

00:18:16.000 Because one of the crazy things about the original room.

00:18:19.000 Right.

00:18:19.000 Or a small room like that.

00:18:21.000 When you hit a punchline, when everybody's laughing, you can hit a tag and they're going to hear it perfectly clearly.

00:18:26.000 Yeah.

00:18:26.000 Because there's not enough people's laughter to overwhelm the sound of the speakers.

00:18:31.000 Yeah, view on the microphone.

00:18:32.000 But when there's 10,000 fucking people...

00:18:35.000 Yeah.

00:18:36.000 You gotta give that one a little bit of air.

00:18:37.000 Let it come back.

00:18:38.000 Yeah, you gotta give those bits a little more air.

00:18:40.000 But you adjust quickly.

00:18:41.000 But do you feel...

00:18:44.000 Are you happy doing it?

00:18:45.000 Yes, it's fun.

00:18:47.000 The only thing close is when I worked with Seinfeld, and we did one of the Fox theaters, and that was a little over 5,000.

00:18:55.000 Yeah.

00:18:56.000 Is that the Detroit Fox Theater?

00:18:58.000 No, it was Atlanta.

00:19:00.000 And that started to feel a little out of my control.

00:19:04.000 How many Fox Theaters are there, by the way?

00:19:06.000 There might be a million of them.

00:19:07.000 There's Fox, St. Louis, Atlanta.

00:19:10.000 But is it the same company?

00:19:11.000 Yeah, it was the same company.

00:19:13.000 Oh, wow.

00:19:13.000 I thought maybe it was just a bunch of people naming their theater the Fox.

00:19:16.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:19:17.000 It was like 20th Century Fox.

00:19:19.000 If you decide I'm the Salmon Theater, do you own the Salmon Theater?

00:19:23.000 Yeah.

00:19:24.000 What?

00:19:25.000 How can you own salmon?

00:19:26.000 You can own salmon.

00:19:27.000 Right?

00:19:28.000 Now, fuck off.

00:19:29.000 Come on.

00:19:29.000 Like, if you have a band, you call your band Salmon.

00:19:31.000 You can't name your band after shit that everybody knows the words to, or knows what it is.

00:19:40.000 Right.

00:19:40.000 A part of nature.

00:19:41.000 It just seems weird.

00:19:42.000 It's gotta be like Salmon Work Boot.

00:19:44.000 You can't name...

00:19:45.000 Could you name your...

00:19:46.000 Like, if you named your beef...

00:19:49.000 If you had a band, you named it Beef.

00:19:52.000 You don't own Beef.

00:19:54.000 Beef.

00:19:54.000 You can't say that.

00:19:55.000 You could trademark Beef.

00:19:57.000 Beef for the name of a band?

00:19:58.000 It's just such a common name.

00:20:00.000 It's like you can't own it with anything else.

00:20:01.000 But you know what?

00:20:02.000 Does that make sense?

00:20:03.000 Yeah, but I looked up yesterday, I was online, I was writing, and I looked up fun.

00:20:08.000 Just the word fun.

00:20:10.000 Somebody owns that?

00:20:11.000 And there's a band, Fun.

00:20:13.000 And everything that came up was Fun, the band.

00:20:15.000 Fuck off.

00:20:16.000 You can't have that name.

00:20:17.000 War.

00:20:17.000 Yeah, but that was a long time ago.

00:20:19.000 That was when they were first making bands.

00:20:22.000 Good God!

00:20:23.000 What it is we're doing for?

00:20:25.000 Absolutely nothing!

00:20:26.000 Say it again!

00:20:28.000 Dude.

00:20:29.000 You know, we were at that Shoreline Amphitheater, and they have all these posters on the wall of different shows, and one of them was...

00:20:39.000 It was Jimi Hendrix and...

00:20:42.000 Fuck, what was the other band?

00:20:44.000 Never heard of it.

00:20:44.000 Some other insane band.

00:20:46.000 Oh, Jimi Hendrix...

00:20:47.000 Fuck, was it The Birds?

00:20:49.000 It was The Birds and another band, but it was so crazy, like, looking at this thing, like, wow, like, this was a real show that you could have caught back then.

00:20:56.000 Yeah.

00:20:57.000 You could have walked into this theater.

00:20:58.000 And seen Hendrix.

00:20:59.000 And you could have watched Hendrix.

00:21:00.000 It's crazy.

00:21:02.000 That it was right there.

00:21:02.000 I'm like, wow, and that night, he was there.

00:21:05.000 So they were all in front, like, laughing and joking around.

00:21:06.000 Oh, really?

00:21:07.000 And someone snapped his picture.

00:21:09.000 Jeez Louise.

00:21:10.000 Sometimes a photo and you go, oh yeah, that's a photo from 1973. Yeah.

00:21:13.000 No big deal.

00:21:14.000 And sometimes one hits you and you go, whoa.

00:21:16.000 Yeah.

00:21:17.000 That's Ronnie Van Zandt.

00:21:18.000 Right, exactly.

00:21:19.000 I go, what would it be like to be around that guy?

00:21:21.000 Yeah, that's Miles Davis talking to Mick Jagger.

00:21:24.000 Jesus Christ.

00:21:25.000 Yeah, like someone was there with a fucking camera when that went down.

00:21:28.000 I know.

00:21:29.000 It's crazy.

00:21:30.000 So I think that...

00:21:33.000 Back to the Fox thing.

00:21:34.000 How big was it?

00:21:35.000 5,000?

00:21:35.000 It was a little over 5,000.

00:21:37.000 And that started to seem like something different from even like 4,000.

00:21:42.000 It seemed like you're still in that club kind of theater back and forth.

00:21:48.000 At 5, it started to feel like, ooh, this is...

00:21:51.000 This is bigger than I can control.

00:21:54.000 Right.

00:21:55.000 Do you feel like you can control it in 10,000?

00:21:58.000 We want to have a good time.

00:21:59.000 Yeah.

00:21:59.000 But do you feel like, you know what I mean?

00:22:01.000 We did 25,000 in Tacoma.

00:22:03.000 Did you really?

00:22:04.000 Dave and I did, yeah.

00:22:05.000 That's crazy.

00:22:06.000 That's crazy.

00:22:07.000 That's a lot of people.

00:22:08.000 It feels insane.

00:22:10.000 It has to feel insane.

00:22:11.000 Oh my god, it's a fucking roar of humans.

00:22:14.000 But it's fun.

00:22:14.000 You know, it's like everybody was there to have a good time.

00:22:16.000 Like, everybody's there for the same reason.

00:22:18.000 And people keep it together remarkably well.

00:22:21.000 Yeah.

00:22:21.000 If you really stop and think about live events, like how well people...

00:22:25.000 Like, we don't get enough credit.

00:22:26.000 I know.

00:22:27.000 For every nutty person who does something crazy.

00:22:30.000 Yeah.

00:22:31.000 There's so many people that can keep it together.

00:22:33.000 I know.

00:22:33.000 It's really unfortunate that we view people the way we do sometimes because we concentrate on every single bad thing that happens in the news.

00:22:41.000 I know.

00:22:42.000 Yeah, there's a lot of bad things that happen in the news, but at scale, if you just have the scale of people, I think we're looking at it completely skewed.

00:22:50.000 I think most people are really fine.

00:22:53.000 Most people are cool.

00:22:54.000 They are.

00:22:54.000 Most people are nice.

00:22:55.000 Right.

00:22:57.000 Right.

00:23:13.000 Amphitheaters and arenas and small shops and small clubs.

00:23:18.000 I mean, just in America.

00:23:21.000 Millions!

00:23:21.000 And everybody's cool.

00:23:22.000 Everyone's getting along.

00:23:23.000 Everybody's doing the right thing.

00:23:25.000 You're right.

00:23:25.000 There is definitely a lot of cool people, but it's the spectacular.

00:23:29.000 It's like a plane crash, right?

00:23:32.000 There hasn't been a major plane crash in the US in a long time.

00:23:37.000 But when it happens, it's so mind-blowing because something fell from the sky.

00:23:42.000 It's a big deal.

00:23:43.000 Yeah, it's a bigger deal than a train.

00:23:45.000 A train crash that kills the same amount of people doesn't shock us as much.

00:23:48.000 No.

00:23:49.000 It's on the ground.

00:23:50.000 You know what I mean?

00:23:51.000 It's like, that thing fell from the sky.

00:23:52.000 What happened?

00:23:53.000 We've all fantasized about how horrible that would be.

00:23:57.000 It has a big impact.

00:23:59.000 It has a real big impact.

00:24:00.000 No, but that's amazing.

00:24:01.000 There were 25,000 like-minded people just coming to laugh.

00:24:07.000 They wanted to have a good time.

00:24:08.000 That's amazing.

00:24:09.000 That's the cool thing about even when you're at the improv or the comedy store.

00:24:14.000 There's a group of people that comes to have a good time.

00:24:17.000 There's always occasionally someone who's drunk and doesn't get it and they want to yell out and ruin things.

00:24:22.000 But most of the clubs in town now are good at getting rid of those people.

00:24:25.000 Yeah.

00:24:26.000 No, they're really good at it.

00:24:27.000 But the vast majority of people are cool.

00:24:29.000 Yeah.

00:24:30.000 Vast majority.

00:24:31.000 Yeah.

00:24:31.000 No, it's great.

00:24:32.000 But when someone isn't cool, it's so disturbing.

00:24:36.000 It's so obvious.

00:24:37.000 That we think about people in that regard.

00:24:40.000 Yeah.

00:24:40.000 You know, we think about people like as...

00:24:43.000 No, yeah.

00:24:44.000 The worst possible scenario.

00:24:46.000 Like, did you see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

00:24:48.000 I did.

00:24:49.000 So those flower kids, right?

00:24:50.000 Yeah.

00:24:50.000 The murderous flower, the Manson kids.

00:24:52.000 The Manson kids, yeah.

00:24:52.000 That's like worst case scenario.

00:24:54.000 Yeah.

00:24:55.000 Sometimes we think about people just on, you know, just because that's a possibility.

00:25:00.000 It's such a glaring one.

00:25:01.000 But it gets a disproportionate amount of energy and interest.

00:25:05.000 Because for the most part, most people...

00:25:07.000 Yeah.

00:25:08.000 Are super fine.

00:25:09.000 Most people are great.

00:25:10.000 Most people are friendly.

00:25:11.000 Most people just want to have a good time in this life.

00:25:14.000 They're not assholes.

00:25:15.000 Right, exactly.

00:25:16.000 And even the Manson kids, there's probably a couple of them that were fun.

00:25:19.000 I bet there was.

00:25:20.000 The girl who took off.

00:25:21.000 The girl who was like, hey, I'll be right back.

00:25:23.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:25.000 That girl in real life did take off.

00:25:27.000 No, who is it?

00:25:28.000 In real life?

00:25:29.000 Who?

00:25:29.000 Do you watch Stranger Things?

00:25:32.000 Yes.

00:25:32.000 She's Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman's daughter.

00:25:37.000 What?

00:25:38.000 Yes!

00:25:39.000 Wow.

00:25:40.000 Yes.

00:25:40.000 She was the one in the two who worked in the ice cream shop.

00:25:43.000 Oh, that's crazy.

00:25:44.000 Yeah, that's her.

00:25:44.000 Okay, what I thought you were going to say, the actual Manson kid that did take off.

00:25:49.000 Because there wasn't...

00:25:51.000 What's that?

00:25:51.000 I thought you meant the one in real life.

00:25:52.000 Oh, in real life.

00:25:53.000 Yeah, you confuse the shit out of everybody.

00:25:55.000 I'm so sorry.

00:25:56.000 Did you see that story going around?

00:25:57.000 When we were talking about it the other day, that story with Bruce Lee that was loosely based in reality had to do with Gene LaBelle.

00:26:05.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:26:06.000 He was a stuntman on the Green Hornet or something like that.

00:26:09.000 Okay, well, let me tell you this then.

00:26:10.000 He said it wasn't real, though.

00:26:11.000 Let me tell you this thing, because talking from Gene, Gene was always...

00:26:15.000 I've known Gene for years.

00:26:17.000 He's always super respectful about Bruce Lee.

00:26:19.000 But he's also...

00:26:21.000 Okay, let me put it this way.

00:26:23.000 If that actually did happen that way, if Bruce Lee fought Gene LaBelle, Gene LaBelle would grab a hold of him and obliterate his brain on the concrete 100 out of 100 times.

00:26:35.000 Oh, really?

00:26:35.000 Let me just say that.

00:26:37.000 So, I'm not talking about the movie.

00:26:39.000 And there was a thing in the movie where I felt like they made Bruce Lee seem like a buffoon.

00:26:43.000 And I'm like, ooh, I don't think he was ever really like that.

00:26:46.000 This is like kind of an important historical figure for martial arts.

00:26:49.000 And I get it's just a crazy Quentin Tarantino movie.

00:26:51.000 And I get it.

00:26:52.000 The end of the movie did not, I mean, spoiler alert, I don't want to say what happened, but he takes liberties for entertainment's sake with a lot of different things.

00:26:59.000 Yeah.

00:27:00.000 But with that one, I was like, ooh, I'm just going to have some random dude that is a stuntman and Bruce Lee's a buffoon to him and he kicks his ass on the set.

00:27:09.000 But with that said, if that was a real-life event with Gene LaBelle and Bruce Lee, Gene LaBelle would crush him.

00:27:16.000 So Gene LaBelle could have...

00:27:17.000 He's a gorilla.

00:27:18.000 That would have been him in that scene.

00:27:20.000 Oh, yeah, but it would have been quick.

00:27:22.000 Right.

00:27:22.000 It would have been a different thing, man.

00:27:23.000 He's a gorilla.

00:27:25.000 Right.

00:27:25.000 I mean, he's like a judo champion with a severe arsenal of neck cranks and joint locks, and he is strong like a fucking bear.

00:27:36.000 I mean, dude, in his prime, he was a tank of a man.

00:27:40.000 Really?

00:27:40.000 Far bigger than Bruce Lee.

00:27:42.000 Oh, wait.

00:27:43.000 Bruce Lee was small, right?

00:27:45.000 He was a small guy.

00:27:46.000 Look, Bruce Lee was an innovator in martial arts and one of my personal heroes.

00:27:50.000 He's like the most important early innovator because he was the first guy to think that you should combine the best elements of all these different styles.

00:27:59.000 When I was coming up, man, I was doing Taekwondo, and you were brainwashed to think that Taekwondo was the best martial art.

00:28:07.000 Everything else was bullshit, and you shouldn't even practice it.

00:28:10.000 So if I was practicing other stuff, like I was doing some boxing, I'd get some frowns from some people.

00:28:16.000 It was like a thing.

00:28:17.000 And if you were in some schools that were less open-minded than mine, you know, my school was a little more practical than some of them, but some of them, they would say, Kung Fu or death.

00:28:26.000 Like, all they wanted to do was fucking Kung Fu.

00:28:28.000 They're doing this shit in the park.

00:28:29.000 And you couldn't say, hey, man, a wrestler's going to grab ahold of you, and he's going to just pound you into a fucking tree, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

00:28:36.000 They're just pure...

00:28:38.000 There's Gene LaBelle who was in a bunch of different movies as a stuntman back in the day.

00:28:43.000 Oh yeah, that looks like Green Hornet.

00:28:44.000 That's him.

00:28:45.000 Yeah, they became friends.

00:28:46.000 They were very good friends.

00:28:47.000 And he had nothing but good things to say about Bruce Lee.

00:28:50.000 But he said he taught Bruce Lee a lot.

00:28:53.000 Like some of the moves that Bruce Lee used in Arm Bar in one of the early scenes in Game of Death.

00:28:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:59.000 That was from Gene LaBelle.

00:29:01.000 Gene LaBelle, I guarantee you, helped him here.

00:29:03.000 But look at this.

00:29:04.000 If Gene LaBelle really wanted to grab a hold of Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee would be unconscious, as would I, as would many, many, many other trained martial artists.

00:29:13.000 Not Jamie.

00:29:14.000 Bruce Lee was a fantastic martial artist.

00:29:17.000 And like I said, one of the most innovative guys ever.

00:29:20.000 We don't even realize how much his style had a gigantic effect on making...

00:29:26.000 Untold millions of people sign up for martial arts classes, including me.

00:29:30.000 Right.

00:29:30.000 And part of it was because he was a movie star, right?

00:29:32.000 He had the looks and the charisma that allowed him to bring it onto film and show everybody.

00:29:37.000 He had everything.

00:29:39.000 He had philosophy.

00:29:39.000 He had a deep understanding of all these different martial arts.

00:29:42.000 And he had the courage to try to combine them, which was unheard of at the time.

00:29:47.000 It got him exercised from a lot of these kung fu-like circles.

00:29:50.000 Where did he learn it?

00:29:51.000 He learned it from a bunch of different places.

00:29:53.000 I mean, he learned it from books.

00:29:54.000 He learned it in China.

00:29:55.000 He learned different things from different people.

00:29:57.000 I know he worked with a lot of different martial artists, including Gene LaBelle, who, of course, was a...

00:30:01.000 What's Gene LaBelle's judo credentials?

00:30:04.000 I guarantee he was a national champion.

00:30:06.000 I think he was a world champion.

00:30:07.000 But he was...

00:30:08.000 Whatever he was, he's a fucking gorilla.

00:30:11.000 I feel like Kung Fu was more popular earlier.

00:30:14.000 Well, the UFC changed all that shit.

00:30:16.000 Yeah.

00:30:17.000 Nice, Dan.

00:30:18.000 Traditional judo.

00:30:19.000 But what is his competition accomplishments?

00:30:22.000 Blue belt?

00:30:23.000 No.

00:30:26.000 Yellow belt?

00:30:29.000 But if that makes sense, that they kind of base it on him, because he really was a legendary stuntman as well.

00:30:35.000 Wouldn't that be cool, though, if Tarantino had the inside scoop on that story?

00:30:40.000 Yeah, but Bruce Lee and him were friends.

00:30:42.000 I guarantee you, like, that didn't go down like that.

00:30:45.000 They didn't have a fight.

00:30:46.000 Right, right, right.

00:30:46.000 And if they did have a fight, Jesus Christ.

00:30:50.000 It would have been horrific.

00:30:52.000 That guy's a fucking gorilla.

00:30:55.000 Judo people are different, man.

00:30:57.000 They have a different...

00:30:58.000 Their core...

00:30:59.000 Judo?

00:30:59.000 Yeah, their core is so goddamn strong.

00:31:02.000 There's only a few Judo guys that I've ever rolled with that are of consequence.

00:31:05.000 Like, Kyle Parisi was one of them.

00:31:07.000 I think when I was a blue belt, I rolled with him and he was like rolling with a chimpanzee.

00:31:11.000 It just threw me around.

00:31:13.000 I was like, Jesus Christ!

00:31:14.000 It's so disheartening when you grapple with like a really good wrestler or a really good judo person.

00:31:20.000 They just have this insane ability to manipulate bodies.

00:31:23.000 It's crazy.

00:31:24.000 Okay, it says he won the National Heavyweight Judo Championship and the USA Overall Judo Championship title.

00:31:31.000 So he won the National Heavyweight title.

00:31:33.000 And he went on to win both the heavyweight and overall champion in 1955 as well.

00:31:38.000 So that's AAU, National Amateur Athletics Union, I think.

00:31:42.000 That's AAU, I think that stands for.

00:31:44.000 So that's a big-time judo title, especially for back then.

00:31:47.000 In 1954, there probably wasn't that many judo championships.

00:31:50.000 It was probably a fairly recent thing.

00:31:52.000 Where's judo come from?

00:31:54.000 Japan.

00:31:54.000 Japan?

00:31:55.000 Yeah, Japan Jiu-Jitsu does too.

00:31:57.000 Even Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu really came from Japan because Count Maeda, who was this traveling Judo master, he taught people in Brazil.

00:32:08.000 He taught the Gracies.

00:32:09.000 So the Gracie family in Brazil, they took that Jiu-Jitsu and they refined it and made it much more emphasis on submissions because of Carlos Gracie and Elio Gracie and Carlson Gracie and the early masters.

00:32:22.000 Right.

00:32:22.000 Really amazing, amazing story of one, really one family that kind of revolutionized the way people fight on the ground.

00:32:29.000 And they just all focused on, right, I remember.

00:32:31.000 Yeah, they just were, they just were badasses.

00:32:33.000 Yeah.

00:32:34.000 And they would just fight each other all the time.

00:32:35.000 And they were trying to figure out what works best.

00:32:37.000 And they just got it down to a fucking science.

00:32:39.000 Here's the story about, from Gene LaBelle.

00:32:42.000 Okay, make this a little bigger.

00:32:43.000 Can I read this?

00:32:44.000 Because LaBelle said that when he got on the set, Dobbins would put Lee in a headlock or something, so LaBelle went up and grabbed Lee.

00:32:49.000 He started making all those noises that he became famous for, LaBelle said, but he didn't try to counter me, so I think he was more surprised than anything else.

00:32:58.000 So he probably just grabbed him, got him in a headlock.

00:33:00.000 Then LaBelle lifted Lee onto his back, what's called a fireman's carry, and ran around the set with him.

00:33:05.000 He said, put me down or I'll kill you, Lee screamed.

00:33:08.000 He said, I can't put you down or you'll kill me, LaBelle said, holding Lee there as long as he dared before putting him down saying, hey Bruce, don't kill me.

00:33:16.000 Just kidding, champ.

00:33:17.000 Back on his feet again, Lee didn't kill LaBelle.

00:33:19.000 Instead, Lee recognized his lack of grappling was a deficiency in Jeet Kune Do style of martial arts that he was developing.

00:33:25.000 See, so there wasn't really a fight.

00:33:27.000 But this is what I'm telling you.

00:33:29.000 LaBelle was so fucking powerful and such an amazing judo guy that if it was a fight, it would have been really quick.

00:33:37.000 So if that's who he was supposed to be portraying in the movie, if they showed that the Brad Pitt character was some judo champion that became a martial artist later, okay, maybe.

00:33:47.000 This guy was like a roofer.

00:33:49.000 Yeah, well, he was a beast.

00:33:51.000 That was a fun part of the movie.

00:33:52.000 Yeah, it was great.

00:33:53.000 I fucking liked that movie, man.

00:33:54.000 Oh, I love that movie.

00:33:55.000 And it's like split camps on it, just in my circle of friends that I run into or whatever.

00:34:01.000 People either loved it and feel like they could have hung with it for two more hours, or people are like, what's the point?

00:34:07.000 What was the story?

00:34:08.000 I don't get it.

00:34:09.000 Those I don't get it guys, keep a real close eye on them.

00:34:13.000 Treat them like they're Jeffrey Epstein you're trying to keep them alive.

00:34:17.000 Those people, I don't understand their thinking.

00:34:20.000 I don't either.

00:34:21.000 It was so great.

00:34:21.000 How could you not have enjoyed that?

00:34:22.000 It was a wild ass movie.

00:34:24.000 Were you not entertained?

00:34:25.000 There was a lot of times in that movie I was like, fuck, whoa, ah!

00:34:30.000 It's a great movie.

00:34:31.000 I could have just hung with it forever.

00:34:32.000 And especially being out here in LA. It was just like that cool.

00:34:35.000 Musso and Franks.

00:34:36.000 Yes.

00:34:37.000 They didn't even have to do anything to make it look different.

00:34:39.000 I know.

00:34:40.000 It's so great.

00:34:40.000 That place looks like it's from 1969. Wow.

00:34:42.000 Aren't we supposed to go?

00:34:44.000 Yeah, we're supposed to go.

00:34:44.000 Yeah.

00:34:45.000 You and me and Joey, we've been talking about it forever.

00:34:47.000 We gotta do it.

00:34:48.000 Well, I'm in town this week.

00:34:49.000 There's a UFC in Anaheim this weekend.

00:34:51.000 Oh, really?

00:34:51.000 I'm in L.A. Yeah, I'm in L.A. all week.

00:34:53.000 I'm in L.A. too.

00:34:54.000 Crazy!

00:34:55.000 This is the first two weekends in a row that I've been home, I think, in a year and a half.

00:34:59.000 Pull up Tom Papa's Instagram and take a look at that sweet elk meat.

00:35:02.000 Did you put it up on your Instagram?

00:35:03.000 No, I didn't.

00:35:04.000 You didn't?

00:35:04.000 Here, I'll send it to you.

00:35:06.000 Or, I'll send it to Jamie.

00:35:07.000 Alright, you send it to Jamie.

00:35:10.000 Oh my god, that was so good.

00:35:12.000 Dude, that shit's ridiculous.

00:35:13.000 That's why I'm here today, because I've run out of elk.

00:35:15.000 You cooked it so well.

00:35:16.000 Hold on.

00:35:17.000 I'm into food porn, obviously.

00:35:19.000 Yeah, I was going to bring you bread, of course, but...

00:35:21.000 Here's an annoying thing about Apple.

00:35:23.000 This was a surprise.

00:35:24.000 If you want to take a photograph from a text message, you can't search that person's name, because otherwise you can't get the photo.

00:35:33.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:35:34.000 Like if I search your name, I have to actually send you a text.

00:35:38.000 Unless I'm doing something totally wrong.

00:35:40.000 Swipe down when you open up the messages app.

00:35:44.000 Swipe down.

00:35:44.000 Yeah.

00:35:45.000 Look at that sweet, sweet bread.

00:35:46.000 The search bar pops up.

00:35:47.000 That does look sweet.

00:35:48.000 Okay.

00:35:48.000 But it was just...

00:35:50.000 I couldn't give it to you.

00:35:52.000 It was just a little too stale.

00:35:53.000 And I'm like, I don't want to...

00:35:55.000 Appreciate it then.

00:35:56.000 Yeah.

00:35:56.000 Next time.

00:35:57.000 You had stale bread?

00:35:59.000 How many days does an actual real bread go before it's stale?

00:36:03.000 About four days.

00:36:04.000 Wow, that's so crazy.

00:36:05.000 So I make two at a time, so it depends how much the ladies are eating.

00:36:09.000 Wow.

00:36:10.000 Yeah.

00:36:11.000 Jamie, I just sent you...

00:36:12.000 I just sent it to you again.

00:36:13.000 ...a photo of the meat.

00:36:15.000 This was so good.

00:36:16.000 I just can't believe you cooked that perfectly on a grill.

00:36:20.000 That's amazing, man.

00:36:21.000 Gas grill on high.

00:36:23.000 Whew.

00:36:23.000 And I flipped it four times.

00:36:25.000 What cut was that?

00:36:26.000 Was that a roast?

00:36:27.000 That was the tri-tip.

00:36:29.000 Oh, wow.

00:36:30.000 That looks good.

00:36:31.000 Oh, so good.

00:36:32.000 Goddamn, that looks good.

00:36:34.000 I know.

00:36:34.000 Dude, you're a really good cook.

00:36:35.000 Thank you.

00:36:36.000 You nailed that.

00:36:37.000 Yeah.

00:36:37.000 Tri-tip's a tricky one, because there's not a lot of fat in a tri-tip.

00:36:40.000 No, it's not.

00:36:41.000 You don't do it right.

00:36:42.000 I remarked at that that there weren't a lot of flames coming up.

00:36:46.000 It wasn't like dripping fat into the thing.

00:36:48.000 It's a different cut.

00:36:49.000 But I just did it by feel, and it was like, you don't want it to be too stiff.

00:36:55.000 And then he just pulled it off, and it was so nice.

00:36:57.000 I still have it waiting for me in the fridge.

00:36:59.000 Oh, shit.

00:37:00.000 That's A-plus right there.

00:37:02.000 Well, it's good stuff.

00:37:03.000 So you got another one, you said?

00:37:05.000 Does that mean you hunted again?

00:37:06.000 I got a deer.

00:37:07.000 You got a deer.

00:37:08.000 Yeah, I got a deer in Lanai.

00:37:10.000 I'm going to give you some Axis deer, too.

00:37:11.000 Oh, really?

00:37:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:12.000 Oh, boy.

00:37:13.000 Oh, boy.

00:37:14.000 What's the taste difference?

00:37:17.000 It's different.

00:37:18.000 It's definitely different.

00:37:19.000 It's really delicious.

00:37:21.000 They're one of the fastest deer species on earth.

00:37:23.000 They're crazy fast.

00:37:25.000 How big are they?

00:37:25.000 About 130, 150 pounds.

00:37:29.000 Like Jamie's size.

00:37:31.000 No, Jamie's bigger than that.

00:37:33.000 Yeah, like Tony Hinchcliffe-sized.

00:37:35.000 Right.

00:37:35.000 Oh, really?

00:37:36.000 That's little.

00:37:38.000 Tony's like, hey!

00:37:40.000 I'm here for meat!

00:37:42.000 I don't want ligaments and wise-ass attitude.

00:37:45.000 To put it in perspective, you get about 400 pounds from an elk and you get about 40 pounds from a deer.

00:37:51.000 Oh my god.

00:37:51.000 Yeah.

00:37:52.000 Definitely very different.

00:37:53.000 The elk is so good.

00:37:55.000 It's crazy.

00:37:55.000 I don't buy, you know, last time you gave it, you gave me a bunch.

00:37:58.000 It's just been in the freezer.

00:38:01.000 To go and buy a steak at Gelson's or whatever?

00:38:04.000 Or Ralph's?

00:38:04.000 It's not happening.

00:38:06.000 Well, I'm glad you enjoy it, man.

00:38:07.000 It's so good.

00:38:08.000 It's so cool to see that you like it.

00:38:09.000 It's so good for you.

00:38:10.000 You feel good.

00:38:11.000 Yes.

00:38:12.000 Right?

00:38:12.000 Crazy, right?

00:38:12.000 That's not...

00:38:13.000 Yeah.

00:38:13.000 It's not just a placebo effect.

00:38:15.000 I don't think so.

00:38:16.000 No.

00:38:17.000 I didn't get in the game to feel good.

00:38:19.000 I just wasn't...

00:38:19.000 Because it was delicious.

00:38:21.000 So many hunters say that.

00:38:22.000 Yeah?

00:38:22.000 So many hunters say that you eat it and it gives you this boost of energy.

00:38:27.000 You feel energized.

00:38:29.000 Yeah.

00:38:29.000 Because it's so nutrient-dense.

00:38:31.000 It's so dark.

00:38:32.000 I mean, it's an animal that their main foe is wolves.

00:38:37.000 Right.

00:38:37.000 Mountain lions.

00:38:38.000 I mean, they're out there hustling.

00:38:40.000 Yeah.

00:38:40.000 If you can get a hold of that meat, that's a meat of champions.

00:38:44.000 It's good stuff.

00:38:46.000 They scream.

00:38:47.000 They scream at each other.

00:38:50.000 I mean, you're eating like a mystical beast.

00:38:52.000 Yeah, that's what it feels like.

00:38:54.000 I respect it.

00:38:55.000 But when you get it in a store, a lot of times it's from farms.

00:38:58.000 It's from a farm in New Zealand, most likely.

00:39:01.000 I think they probably can do it at some places in the United States, maybe some places in Canada where they commercially farm elk.

00:39:07.000 But most elk that you get, you actually get from New Zealand.

00:39:11.000 Oh.

00:39:11.000 Which is really interesting.

00:39:12.000 New Zealand's a weird place, man.

00:39:13.000 Yeah, I've never been.

00:39:14.000 A lot of the lamb you get is from New Zealand.

00:39:16.000 Oh, yeah?

00:39:17.000 Yeah, dude, New Zealand is really kind of crazy because they don't have any predators.

00:39:22.000 Everything was brought over by a bunch of rich European guys.

00:39:26.000 They're like, wouldn't it be great if we had sheep over here?

00:39:29.000 They just brought sheep.

00:39:31.000 Wouldn't it be great if we had stags?

00:39:33.000 And so they brought over stags.

00:39:34.000 I don't see an antelope.

00:39:36.000 Have you ever seen a red stag?

00:39:38.000 No.

00:39:38.000 Beautiful, beautiful animal.

00:39:39.000 Oh, yeah?

00:39:40.000 Yeah, they're all over the place in New Zealand.

00:39:41.000 They brought them over there.

00:39:42.000 There's literally no large mammals in New Zealand, and they brought all of them over there.

00:39:47.000 Jeez.

00:39:47.000 See if you can get a photograph of a red stag, New Zealand red stag.

00:39:51.000 They're beautiful animals.

00:39:52.000 It's kind of like an elk in a lot of ways.

00:39:54.000 It looks like it's like the cousin of an elk.

00:39:56.000 They have these gorgeous, gorgeous antlers, and they're just these big, crazy...

00:40:02.000 Beautiful animals.

00:40:03.000 Do you have another trip coming up?

00:40:04.000 I've never been to New Zealand.

00:40:07.000 Are you going for elk again?

00:40:08.000 Yeah, I'll be going in the fall.

00:40:10.000 I always go in the fall.

00:40:10.000 Oh, that's nice.

00:40:11.000 See, you got a photo of one?

00:40:12.000 It's Scottish, it says.

00:40:13.000 Okay, that's a Scottish one.

00:40:15.000 Don't they have a New Zealand red stag?

00:40:16.000 I didn't tie this tag for a red stag.

00:40:17.000 Okay, well, that's the dark side.

00:40:19.000 Click on that photo.

00:40:20.000 No, no, no.

00:40:21.000 Okay, that's good, too.

00:40:22.000 And the one below it.

00:40:23.000 Let me see the one below that.

00:40:24.000 It's huge.

00:40:25.000 Okay, this is the dark side.

00:40:27.000 See, okay, now what this is, this is a New Zealand elk that's grown in a place where they grow them like this.

00:40:35.000 So it's probably a high fence operation, and they probably feed these things.

00:40:40.000 So they probably have like big bundles of food, and the more food an animal like that gets, the more impressive a rack they'll develop.

00:40:49.000 That rack is insane.

00:40:50.000 Yeah.

00:40:51.000 There's actually a really amazing podcast about it.

00:40:54.000 Oh, see...

00:40:55.000 That looks like it's caught up in ropes or something.

00:40:57.000 What the hell is happening there?

00:40:58.000 It's like in a tree or something.

00:41:00.000 What the fuck is going on there?

00:41:01.000 That looks like a vine.

00:41:02.000 Yeah, it must have got caught on something.

00:41:03.000 It looks like a vine.

00:41:04.000 Something else wrapped around in there.

00:41:05.000 That's so weird.

00:41:06.000 I really don't understand what that is.

00:41:08.000 That's why I clicked on it.

00:41:09.000 It's very abstract.

00:41:10.000 So it looks like the antlers are wrapped up in vines and then they shot it and left the vines on the head.

00:41:18.000 They could have taken the vines off, just out of respect.

00:41:20.000 Out of respect.

00:41:21.000 That does happen, though.

00:41:23.000 Like, sometimes deer will get, like, barbed wire and shit stuck in their antlers.

00:41:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:27.000 Or bale wire.

00:41:29.000 They'll get that shit stuck in their antlers.

00:41:31.000 They'll get it trapped around their legs and shit.

00:41:33.000 It's terrible.

00:41:33.000 Oh, man, that's awful.

00:41:34.000 People always catch deer, or find deer, rather, that have been caught in fences.

00:41:40.000 It's like they're jumping through a fence and it gets twisted around and their leg gets stuck.

00:41:44.000 Yeah.

00:41:44.000 That's not cool.

00:41:45.000 It's terrible.

00:41:45.000 That's not cool.

00:41:46.000 Oh, it's a drag.

00:41:47.000 It's a drag.

00:41:47.000 They find them there.

00:41:48.000 Coyotes find them and they just eat them alive.

00:41:50.000 You know what's really good, too, is the sausage.

00:41:52.000 Oh, yeah, the sausage is fantastic.

00:41:54.000 Anyway, so that's why those antlers are so crazy.

00:41:58.000 Just because if they were in the wild, that's not happening.

00:42:01.000 You wouldn't get enough food.

00:42:02.000 Right.

00:42:03.000 I was going to say that there's a great podcast called The Meat Eater with my friend Steve Rinella.

00:42:08.000 There's an episode where they're talking about that.

00:42:12.000 That's out right now.

00:42:13.000 Let me find out which one it is.

00:42:15.000 It's so much better.

00:42:16.000 Because it's pretty interesting.

00:42:17.000 I just emotionally and mentally feel so much better eating it than I do knowing that something came from a big factory farm.

00:42:25.000 It's called Episode 180, Teeth, Horns, and Claws.

00:42:29.000 And he sits down with a wildlife biologist.

00:42:50.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:53.000 Right.

00:42:54.000 And how much their antlers grow.

00:42:55.000 So what they do with these animals, most likely, and I don't know how all of them do it, because they probably vary, but I know in the United States, when they have deer farms, they feed them a super high-protein diet out of these feeders.

00:43:08.000 And so these animals eat this crazy high-protein diet, and their antlers just go fucking...

00:43:14.000 Filled with minerals.

00:43:15.000 Antler bone is a weird thing.

00:43:17.000 It grows faster than any known bone on earth.

00:43:20.000 I am.

00:43:21.000 So when you see a deer's antlers and they're gigantic, that deer might have just grown those over the last three months.

00:43:27.000 Really?

00:43:27.000 Yes.

00:43:28.000 Jeez.

00:43:28.000 It's crazy.

00:43:29.000 That is crazy.

00:43:29.000 Especially an elk antler in particular, because they let go of their antlers very late.

00:43:34.000 Uh-huh.

00:43:34.000 Like, antlers fall off.

00:43:36.000 Once they get done having sex, they don't need the antlers anymore, because the antlers are mostly to, like, show dudes...

00:43:41.000 That's what I was going to ask.

00:43:42.000 Like, a bird?

00:43:43.000 Yeah.

00:43:44.000 It's floral.

00:43:45.000 It's to attract...

00:43:46.000 But it also helps them in fights with each other.

00:43:48.000 Right.

00:43:49.000 Because, like, the males will fight.

00:43:51.000 And they wind up killing each other.

00:43:52.000 For the lady.

00:43:52.000 Yeah, they kill each other all the time.

00:43:54.000 Especially elk.

00:43:54.000 You'll find elks with, like, puncture wounds in their sides where they just jab each other.

00:44:00.000 Yeah.

00:44:00.000 One of them will trip and the other one will run his fucking antlers through its body cavity.

00:44:04.000 So when these people are feeding them this high-protein stuff, is it for the antlers or it's just for them to...

00:44:09.000 It's for the antlers.

00:44:10.000 It is?

00:44:11.000 Yes.

00:44:11.000 It's so they develop these freakish antlers.

00:44:13.000 Because then it's a trophy?

00:44:15.000 Yes.

00:44:15.000 But there's two schools of thought on this.

00:44:18.000 There's people that think that's great, look at the antlers.

00:44:21.000 And then there's people who are the purest, people that would be in the Steve Rinelli camp that would find it grotesque.

00:44:26.000 And they would find direct evidence of a person meddling with it.

00:44:31.000 Yeah, that's what it kind of feels like.

00:44:33.000 Right, like almost akin, in a way, to an animal that's wearing a collar.

00:44:39.000 That thing is so obviously manipulated by a person.

00:44:43.000 In the wild, they don't have squirrely crazy shit that grows all over the place.

00:44:47.000 If you find one in the wild that has anything remotely like that, it's a freak of all freaks.

00:44:52.000 They do exist in places that have amazing food.

00:44:55.000 And it would be more special because it's out there and it just happened.

00:44:58.000 Whereas these all take place inside a fence.

00:45:02.000 It's kind of sketch.

00:45:03.000 Yeah, it's a little sketch.

00:45:05.000 A little meddlesome.

00:45:06.000 It's troublesome because they also have to hunt them, right?

00:45:10.000 So one of the problems is they will do these purges where they fly over in helicopters with certain species and they just gun them down and they leave them to rot.

00:45:20.000 Why?

00:45:21.000 Because they have too many of them.

00:45:22.000 They're devastating to the local flora, all the different plants, and they'll just eat through everything.

00:45:28.000 There's no predators, so it's just going...

00:45:29.000 They don't want to import wolves and start some crazy gang war.

00:45:33.000 That sounds fun.

00:45:33.000 Dude.

00:45:35.000 There's a coyote...

00:45:37.000 Coyotes in my neighborhood are going nuts right now.

00:45:40.000 They ripped apart a cat, three of them on one cat, and somebody else lost one with two coyotes.

00:45:46.000 They gang up together, and they go after these...

00:45:48.000 My cat is staying inside a lot these days.

00:45:51.000 Cats have a terrible life in the Hollywood area.

00:45:54.000 Yeah, it's good.

00:45:56.000 Yeah, cats are in real trouble with these coyotes.

00:45:58.000 They're everywhere.

00:45:59.000 I know, they're tricky.

00:46:00.000 And they smell your cat.

00:46:01.000 They know where your cat is.

00:46:02.000 Right.

00:46:03.000 They know when your cat's there, they know when your cat's not there.

00:46:05.000 You don't even have to see them.

00:46:07.000 Really?

00:46:07.000 Oh yeah.

00:46:08.000 The wind's coming down.

00:46:09.000 Like say if your cat's in your backyard and there's a coyote a mile away on the street.

00:46:14.000 And the wind hits that cat and blows towards that coyote, that coyote might be able to smell it.

00:46:20.000 Jeez.

00:46:20.000 They can smell some insane amount of distance.

00:46:25.000 Wow.

00:46:26.000 And, you know, if the wind is blowing right, so it's blowing towards them, they can pick up these little things.

00:46:31.000 The next thing you know, they're knowing that you got something in your yard.

00:46:35.000 Jeez Louise.

00:46:36.000 I wonder how, with the effective distance, the way it was related to me was like you should consider the way a coyote could smell or a bloodhound or any kind of crazy dog, the way you smell a skunk.

00:46:48.000 Do you know how you smell a skunk?

00:46:49.000 Like a skunk could be like blocks away, but you fucking smell it so strong.

00:46:54.000 You can smell it like almost a mile away maybe.

00:46:57.000 Maybe a half mile?

00:46:58.000 Yeah, probably a little less.

00:46:59.000 That's how dogs are, with everything.

00:47:00.000 With everything.

00:47:01.000 With your feet.

00:47:02.000 You can smell your feet that far away.

00:47:05.000 Poor puppy.

00:47:07.000 Imagine they could smell another dog taking a leak a block away.

00:47:11.000 Like, what?

00:47:12.000 That motherfucker!

00:47:13.000 Isn't it funny when you're hanging with your dog and all of a sudden their head goes up?

00:47:16.000 Oh my god.

00:47:16.000 It's just purely out of smelling something in the distance?

00:47:18.000 Yeah, I was taking my dog out today and it was amazing the stuff he stops for.

00:47:22.000 Yeah.

00:47:23.000 What the fuck is going on with this bush?

00:47:25.000 I know.

00:47:26.000 I just freak out.

00:47:28.000 What the fuck is he smells, man?

00:47:30.000 Are you smelling this?

00:47:30.000 Like, I have zero idea what he's smelling.

00:47:33.000 Dude, there was a possum here five hours ago.

00:47:36.000 That's what they say about bears.

00:47:38.000 That bears can not only smell you, they can smell you hours later and know how long it was that you passed through.

00:47:47.000 So know whether or not it's worth going after you.

00:47:50.000 Jeez.

00:47:52.000 Bears are the best.

00:47:54.000 They have multiple, I think...

00:47:58.000 I want to say a bear's nose is nine times stronger than a bloodhound's.

00:48:02.000 What?

00:48:02.000 Yes.

00:48:03.000 I think that's the case.

00:48:05.000 Really?

00:48:05.000 Yeah, I think it's like nine times stronger than a bloodhound's.

00:48:09.000 That's amazing.

00:48:09.000 Yeah, so think about it saying a bloodhound's nose is...

00:48:12.000 Yeah.

00:48:13.000 See if that's true.

00:48:14.000 What does it say, Jeremy?

00:48:15.000 That's why they're so manic.

00:48:16.000 I was looking at smell ranges and I typed in bear smell range.

00:48:19.000 It says it can smell a carcass from up to 20 miles away.

00:48:24.000 Jesus Christ.

00:48:25.000 Wow!

00:48:25.000 20 miles?

00:48:26.000 Yeah, let's bring those back.

00:48:28.000 What a good idea, you fucking assholes.

00:48:31.000 You know, California used to have a lot of them.

00:48:33.000 Grizzlies?

00:48:34.000 Yeah, man.

00:48:34.000 Really?

00:48:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:35.000 We killed them all.

00:48:36.000 Or not us, but people in the 1800s.

00:48:39.000 Right.

00:48:39.000 That's our state flag, bro.

00:48:41.000 And pushed them up north?

00:48:43.000 Not pushed them off.

00:48:44.000 They murdered them.

00:48:45.000 There's no pushing.

00:48:46.000 They killed them all.

00:48:47.000 Jeez.

00:48:48.000 Yeah, the last time a guy died at the hands of a grizzly bear that was documented in California was a guy, I think his name was Stephen Levesque, and there's a town up on the way to Bakersfield.

00:48:58.000 Have you ever been to Bakersfield?

00:49:01.000 Yeah.

00:49:01.000 You ever been to Bakersfield?

00:49:01.000 Yeah.

00:49:02.000 It's great out there.

00:49:02.000 It is nice out there.

00:49:03.000 I like it out there.

00:49:03.000 I know.

00:49:04.000 Fun people.

00:49:04.000 It's got that cool desert vibe.

00:49:06.000 You're in the country somehow.

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 But anyway, on the way up there, there's a town called Levesque, and Levesque was named after the last man to get killed by a grizzly bear.

00:49:15.000 Oh, really?

00:49:16.000 Yeah, and they exhumed him many years later to see if the story was true, and his body was destroyed, like something bit through his thigh bones.

00:49:26.000 Had mauled through it.

00:49:27.000 Yeah, he got tore apart by a bear.

00:49:30.000 In New Jersey right now, in North Jersey, they're having a black bear problem.

00:49:34.000 Yeah, you know why?

00:49:35.000 Because their government stopped the hunting on bears.

00:49:38.000 The governor decided to stop the bear hunt.

00:49:40.000 It was a part of him being elected.

00:49:42.000 But these people, you're going to come face to face with the consequences of not managing dangerous wildlife.

00:49:49.000 Black bears are dangerous wildlife.

00:49:51.000 They're beautiful.

00:49:51.000 They're all over.

00:49:52.000 Yes.

00:49:52.000 They're a problem.

00:49:53.000 They're beautiful.

00:49:54.000 They're amazing.

00:49:55.000 It's definitely good to have them around.

00:49:58.000 But you cannot let them overpopulate without a management plan.

00:50:02.000 And that's what I think...

00:50:11.000 Right.

00:50:31.000 Yeah.

00:50:46.000 Gun them down.

00:50:48.000 Don't let them overtake your neighborhood.

00:50:49.000 I'm not saying they shouldn't be in the woods.

00:50:51.000 They should, but they should stay the fuck out of, like, suburbs, suburb neighborhoods.

00:50:57.000 But the problem also is that it's just growing.

00:51:00.000 There's so many humans every year, more and more humans, more and more developments.

00:51:03.000 There's really not much land for these animals.

00:51:06.000 That's an interesting argument.

00:51:08.000 It's not that good, though.

00:51:09.000 But it hasn't expanded that much.

00:51:12.000 What's happened is the populations of the animals has arisen.

00:51:16.000 But there is sprawl.

00:51:17.000 There's more developments.

00:51:19.000 Certainly sprawl in comparison to the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s.

00:51:22.000 But what is happening now with these overpopulations of animals is there's no one doing anything about it.

00:51:28.000 See, if you have bears, there's no predators for bears.

00:51:33.000 They occasionally eat each other.

00:51:35.000 They do it all the time, actually.

00:51:37.000 They kill and eat each other all the time, especially cubs.

00:51:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:40.000 Males eat cubs, females eat their own cubs.

00:51:42.000 Why do they got to do that for?

00:51:43.000 We were in Alberta, and one of the guys that I was with, my friend John, his son, saw a bear kill a cub, and then the mother of the cub ate it.

00:51:54.000 Jeez.

00:51:55.000 Yeah.

00:51:55.000 What's with these guys?

00:51:56.000 This is the life they live, man.

00:51:58.000 They're not movie characters.

00:52:00.000 Right.

00:52:01.000 They're wild predators, and they're enormous.

00:52:03.000 These are several hundred pounds.

00:52:05.000 And if you think it's cute to have millions of them in a state...

00:52:08.000 Do you know that New Jersey has the densest population of black bears in all of North America?

00:52:13.000 Really?

00:52:14.000 Yeah, New Jersey.

00:52:15.000 Right.

00:52:15.000 How bananas that is.

00:52:16.000 It's also the most densely populated...

00:52:19.000 For humans.

00:52:20.000 Is it really?

00:52:20.000 Yeah.

00:52:21.000 Really?

00:52:21.000 It's the most populated state.

00:52:22.000 Because it's not that big.

00:52:23.000 Densely populated state.

00:52:24.000 Yeah.

00:52:24.000 But it has a lot of woods.

00:52:25.000 And there's a lot of woods.

00:52:27.000 There's still a lot of woods.

00:52:28.000 There's a lot of places for these things to live.

00:52:30.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 But if you have bears, and there's nothing, there's no wolves, and there's no mountain lions, there's nothing taking the bears out, there's just bears.

00:52:37.000 There's a crazy amount of deer, too.

00:52:39.000 Yeah.

00:52:39.000 A crazy amount.

00:52:40.000 I was just there, you know, I have family there, and we were just driving around this summer, it's like...

00:52:44.000 They were just popping up everywhere.

00:52:46.000 I mean, the bears are probably eating the shit out of them, too.

00:52:48.000 They're responsible for the death of 50% of all deer fawns.

00:52:53.000 Bears?

00:52:53.000 Bears.

00:52:54.000 Yeah.

00:52:54.000 They just go around and eat the...

00:52:55.000 Half of the deer fawns get eaten by bears.

00:52:58.000 Wow.

00:52:58.000 Yeah.

00:52:59.000 They did a study, like, where deer fawns get jacked.

00:53:02.000 It's, like, mostly bears.

00:53:03.000 Wow.

00:53:04.000 I mean, mountain lions get them, too.

00:53:05.000 All in New Jersey.

00:53:05.000 They get a lot of deer fawns.

00:53:07.000 Hanging out at the mall, eating at a Chick-fil-A. But there's no mountain lions in New Jersey, so it's all bears.

00:53:12.000 Right.

00:53:12.000 So the fawns there, they're all getting jacked by bears.

00:53:14.000 Well, that was the big debate, I believe, when I was there, was they were thinking about allowing bear hunting.

00:53:21.000 Well, it was legal.

00:53:22.000 It was a big kerfuffle.

00:53:25.000 Well, it's been legal.

00:53:26.000 It's been legal for a long time.

00:53:27.000 It was legal.

00:53:27.000 Then it was.

00:53:28.000 This new governor made it illegal.

00:53:30.000 Right, right, right.

00:53:31.000 But the people that live there think it's a terrible idea to make it illegal.

00:53:34.000 Right.

00:53:34.000 To make it illegal.

00:53:35.000 But I get it.

00:53:36.000 I get people don't want bears to die.

00:53:38.000 But you just have to understand management.

00:53:40.000 You have to manage wildlife numbers when you're around people.

00:53:43.000 I mean, this idea that you shouldn't do that because they should be here, because they were here first, and we're taking over their land.

00:53:50.000 You're right.

00:53:51.000 You're right about all those things.

00:53:52.000 You're right, but we're team people, okay?

00:53:55.000 But that's the reality we're dealing with, right?

00:53:57.000 Exactly.

00:53:57.000 You can't let many, many bears move into your area.

00:54:00.000 It's a fucking disaster.

00:54:01.000 They're going to eat your garbage.

00:54:02.000 You're going to get scared.

00:54:04.000 Someone's going to get bit.

00:54:05.000 Someone could die.

00:54:06.000 Yeah.

00:54:06.000 And it accelerates with the population increase.

00:54:09.000 Right.

00:54:10.000 Whatever it is.

00:54:10.000 I mean, there's a wild video from, fuck, Far Rockaway, which is- Oh, really?

00:54:18.000 Yeah.

00:54:18.000 And these two bears- That's like Queens.

00:54:21.000 I'm watching it.

00:54:21.000 It's like Queens, New York.

00:54:23.000 These two bears, they start duking it out.

00:54:26.000 Geez.

00:54:27.000 No, that's not the Far Rockaway one.

00:54:29.000 Is that Far Rockaway?

00:54:31.000 Is that what it says?

00:54:32.000 Okay, Far Rockaway, New Jersey.

00:54:33.000 Okay, this is a different one, but it's the same.

00:54:37.000 This is brand new.

00:54:38.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:54:39.000 Geez, those look like grizzlies.

00:54:40.000 These are big bears.

00:54:41.000 I always picture them smaller.

00:54:43.000 These are more than 200 pounds.

00:54:44.000 Whoa!

00:54:45.000 That's what it looks like to me.

00:54:46.000 I'm looking at them.

00:54:47.000 Oh, easy.

00:54:47.000 These are like 200 plus pound bears.

00:54:48.000 It's like Jamie times two.

00:54:49.000 Well, there's another one where these bears fight.

00:54:52.000 I'm not bullshitting.

00:54:53.000 The bears look like 400 pound bears.

00:54:55.000 They're fucking enormous.

00:54:57.000 And they knock over this mailbox and they crash into some garbage.

00:55:02.000 They're so big, dude.

00:55:04.000 And they spill out onto the street while cars are there.

00:55:06.000 Oh my God.

00:55:07.000 And cars are watching these.

00:55:08.000 And you get a real perspective sense of how big they are with the cars.

00:55:13.000 Right, right.

00:55:14.000 I'm guessing 300 pounds plus.

00:55:16.000 Maybe 400 pounds.

00:55:17.000 And they gotta be fast.

00:55:18.000 And they're duking it out with each other in front of everybody.

00:55:20.000 In New Jersey.

00:55:21.000 Dude, in people's yards.

00:55:23.000 Oh, my God.

00:55:24.000 Another one with two giant bears in the same area.

00:55:26.000 Oh, my God.

00:55:27.000 From earlier this year.

00:55:28.000 This is a different one.

00:55:29.000 I know the one you're talking about we've brought up a few times.

00:55:31.000 So this is another one?

00:55:32.000 Yeah.

00:55:32.000 God.

00:55:33.000 Stop playing.

00:55:33.000 My sister had a whole family just walking down her street.

00:55:37.000 Dude, this is going to be a problem.

00:55:39.000 And they're going to have to hire people to go and kill these things.

00:55:42.000 All it will take is one person getting eaten at the Taco Bell.

00:55:46.000 It could be a lot of different things.

00:55:48.000 It could be people's dogs.

00:55:49.000 Yeah, this was the original video that I saw.

00:55:51.000 They're fighting right outside these people's house.

00:55:54.000 And then they duke it out.

00:55:57.000 They eventually crash into the mailbox.

00:56:00.000 That's shaky camera work.

00:56:01.000 Yeah, well, it's because he's...

00:56:02.000 He's terrified.

00:56:03.000 Look at this.

00:56:04.000 They're duking it out.

00:56:05.000 Also, though, this is like a good sign that these were old-ass fucking cameras.

00:56:10.000 This is like before they really had stabilization on cell phone cameras.

00:56:14.000 Right, yeah.

00:56:14.000 Look at the size of these fucks.

00:56:16.000 Jeez.

00:56:17.000 And they're just fighting on the street in front of all these people.

00:56:21.000 Yeah.

00:56:22.000 Man, oh man.

00:56:23.000 This is what happens when you don't let people hunt them.

00:56:25.000 Or this is what happens when you don't hunt them enough.

00:56:27.000 You gotta manage it.

00:56:28.000 When they encroach.

00:56:28.000 Yes.

00:56:29.000 Dude, it's fucking dangerous, man.

00:56:31.000 These are wild animals.

00:56:33.000 And these people that live there are soft-ass domesticated people.

00:56:37.000 They don't know what that is.

00:56:38.000 They're not like us.

00:56:39.000 They don't know how to fight bears.

00:56:40.000 Look at the size of these things.

00:56:43.000 That is massive.

00:56:44.000 Dude, these are big bears.

00:56:46.000 They're big!

00:56:46.000 Those are big bears.

00:56:47.000 That's not what I pictured.

00:56:49.000 Like, you ever go to the Black Bear Diner?

00:56:51.000 Yes.

00:56:51.000 They have them out here.

00:56:52.000 They have, like, all these wooden bears.

00:56:54.000 It's really cool.

00:56:55.000 Look at this.

00:56:56.000 They make them look so adorable.

00:56:57.000 They wear hats.

00:56:58.000 They've got vests on.

00:56:59.000 I didn't see them crashing anything.

00:57:01.000 Maybe I was wrong about that.

00:57:02.000 Maybe it's another one.

00:57:03.000 Wow.

00:57:04.000 There's so many of these videos of bears fighting.

00:57:07.000 God.

00:57:08.000 You know, Alaska takes it one step further, though.

00:57:10.000 One of my favorite videos is...

00:57:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:12.000 Oh, see, they did knock in a...

00:57:13.000 No, that's...

00:57:14.000 No, no, no.

00:57:15.000 Well, didn't Alaska say you can shoot them in their den now?

00:57:18.000 I don't think so.

00:57:19.000 Wasn't that the thing?

00:57:20.000 No, I don't think so.

00:57:21.000 That's what I heard.

00:57:22.000 Unless they're trying to get rid of a certain number of them.

00:57:24.000 What I was going to talk about was moose in people's driveways.

00:57:27.000 There's this crazy fight where this guy's sitting in front of his car in the morning, sitting in his car in front of his house in the morning, and he's filming these gigantic moose duking it out on the front lawn.

00:57:38.000 It is great.

00:57:39.000 They are fucking enormous.

00:57:41.000 And they're smashing antlers right on the sky.

00:57:44.000 There it is.

00:57:44.000 Look at this.

00:57:45.000 Look at this, man.

00:57:46.000 This is fucking crazy.

00:57:47.000 They're so big.

00:57:48.000 They crash into that car.

00:57:50.000 They probably fucked that car up.

00:57:52.000 But imagine if this is your house and you're watching two huge moose duke it out.

00:57:58.000 I would like to live in a place like that.

00:58:00.000 Well, you can move to Anchorage, Alaska.

00:58:01.000 This can happen to you.

00:58:02.000 That would be fun.

00:58:03.000 You'd move right next to Sarah Palin.

00:58:05.000 My cat wouldn't...

00:58:07.000 The cat's fucked.

00:58:07.000 My cat wouldn't make it.

00:58:09.000 The cat becomes an indoor cat.

00:58:10.000 Lock her in the house when you open the door.

00:58:12.000 Don't let her out.

00:58:13.000 Because everything's going to jack her.

00:58:15.000 Yeah, look at these things, man.

00:58:16.000 They don't...

00:58:17.000 Bro, look how big they are.

00:58:18.000 Oh, he got them on his back.

00:58:19.000 Takedown.

00:58:20.000 They're so big, man.

00:58:21.000 These are so, so huge.

00:58:23.000 This guy's running.

00:58:24.000 All of a sudden, the camera's...

00:58:26.000 This is how you put it in perspective, right?

00:58:29.000 A deer is like maybe a hundred, like an axis deer is like maybe 150 pounds.

00:58:34.000 An elk, a big one, is like closing in on a thousand pounds.

00:58:38.000 Yeah.

00:58:39.000 Like 800, 900 pounds.

00:58:40.000 A moose is twice that big.

00:58:42.000 Twice that big?

00:58:43.000 Twice that big.

00:58:44.000 1,800, 2,000 pounds sometimes.

00:58:46.000 Oh, my God.

00:58:47.000 A big male moose.

00:58:48.000 Like, those moose right there, they easily could have been 1,600 pounds, 1,700 pounds.

00:58:52.000 1,600 pounds.

00:58:53.000 They're so big.

00:58:54.000 And those are big ones, man.

00:58:55.000 They had giant antlers.

00:58:56.000 Yeah, they're huge.

00:58:56.000 You see how wide their antlers are?

00:58:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:59.000 That's like a fully mature moose.

00:59:01.000 Oh, man.

00:59:01.000 They're fucking enormous, man.

00:59:03.000 I came around a bend on my motorcycle in Maine once, and there was just a moose just standing there in the middle of the road.

00:59:09.000 God.

00:59:10.000 It was like a wall.

00:59:11.000 It was like, I think there's a wall in the middle of the road, and it was a gigantic moose.

00:59:15.000 Greg Fitzsimmons did this gig in New Hampshire, and they told him that he couldn't swear.

00:59:19.000 So Greg, when he was young, as he is today, was a smartass, but today he's a professional smartass.

00:59:25.000 Back then, he was just kind of learning the smartass craft.

00:59:28.000 So he immediately opened up with, hey, what's going on, fuckers?

00:59:34.000 And, of course, doesn't clean up his act at all.

00:59:38.000 And they sent him home.

00:59:40.000 But what was crazy was, on the way up there, they were telling him, do not drive at night because of the moose.

00:59:47.000 Right.

00:59:47.000 Because you could hit a moose.

00:59:48.000 But he goes, after my show, they were so mad at me.

00:59:51.000 They're like, fuck you.

00:59:51.000 Go drive with the moose.

00:59:53.000 They sent him home.

00:59:54.000 We want you out of the state.

00:59:55.000 In the dark, in New Hampshire, with the moose out.

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

01:00:00.000 I just love the picture of a young Fitzsimmons.

01:00:03.000 He was hilarious.

01:00:04.000 He was such a smartass.

01:00:06.000 Such a smartass.

01:00:07.000 I've known Greg since...

01:00:08.000 We literally started out within a week of each other.

01:00:10.000 Oh, really?

01:00:11.000 Doing open mic nights.

01:00:11.000 Wow.

01:00:12.000 I met him early in New York.

01:00:14.000 Dude, we did so many shitty gigs together.

01:00:16.000 He was...

01:00:20.000 Mean.

01:00:20.000 What?

01:00:21.000 Greg?

01:00:22.000 Was he?

01:00:23.000 Come on.

01:00:24.000 Greg is cutting.

01:00:25.000 I mean, I always got along with him, Greg.

01:00:27.000 But no, but he had that, you know, he had Fitzsimmons attitude where if he locks it on you, you're toast.

01:00:33.000 Oh, yeah, if he thinks you suck.

01:00:34.000 Yeah.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, if he thinks you suck and you annoy him.

01:00:37.000 Especially if you're cocky, you annoy him.

01:00:41.000 You don't know me, motherfucker!

01:00:44.000 You ever hear that joke of his?

01:00:45.000 Yeah, that's a hilarious bit.

01:00:48.000 He's got a lot of hilarious bits.

01:00:49.000 I tell him every time I see him, it's the best bit of the year.

01:00:53.000 Yeah, I think Greg and I probably, I don't know how many gigs we did together, but for like the first few years of our comedy, when we're really starting to get like road gigs.

01:01:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:06.000 We did a shit ton of them together.

01:01:08.000 Oh, that's great.

01:01:08.000 Including open mic nights, man.

01:01:09.000 We just drive all the way down to Rhode Island.

01:01:11.000 We drive to Providence, Rhode Island to work.

01:01:13.000 We'll do like 10 minutes for free.

01:01:15.000 Wow, of course.

01:01:17.000 Yeah, we're so excited.

01:01:19.000 Maybe not even 10. So great.

01:01:20.000 Might have been five minutes.

01:01:21.000 Who would drive?

01:01:22.000 Whoever.

01:01:22.000 Whoever's fucking car worked.

01:01:24.000 Right?

01:01:26.000 I remember one time ago, me and Greg and this other dude were in a car, and the other dude starts talking about vibrators in his ass, and about how much his girlfriend likes to put vibrators in his ass.

01:01:40.000 Who sang this?

01:01:42.000 Another comic.

01:01:43.000 This comic is telling us this crazy story.

01:01:45.000 I mean, we're trapped with this guy all the way to Maine, driving, and he's in the back seat talking about taking in the ass with vibrators.

01:01:52.000 I'm like, what?

01:01:53.000 We didn't get that close.

01:01:55.000 Like, this is...

01:01:56.000 It's a weird time to bring up this subject.

01:01:58.000 It's his opening conversation.

01:01:59.000 It's like, I'm not averse to that subject.

01:02:01.000 I'm not averse to you discussing...

01:02:03.000 I don't think...

01:02:05.000 Butt play, first of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay.

01:02:08.000 And I don't think butt play makes you gay.

01:02:11.000 So let's just like...

01:02:12.000 It's intimate.

01:02:13.000 It's an intimate opener.

01:02:14.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:02:15.000 Let's soothe all those worries right there.

01:02:19.000 Whatever you're into.

01:02:20.000 No problem with you getting your butt touched.

01:02:22.000 And I have no problem with you being gay.

01:02:24.000 This is just...

01:02:24.000 That's not what I'm talking about.

01:02:25.000 This is like while you're driving.

01:02:27.000 This is hello.

01:02:28.000 Yeah, my girl, she loved to put vibrators in my asshole.

01:02:31.000 Like, what?

01:02:32.000 Hello, how do you do?

01:02:33.000 Nice to meet you, my girlfriend.

01:02:34.000 I mean, we knew this guy.

01:02:36.000 But we didn't know this guy.

01:02:37.000 Like, know this guy.

01:02:38.000 I didn't know him as much as I knew Greg.

01:02:40.000 And if Greg was telling me that in a car with somebody else, I'd be like, why are you telling me this other dude is here?

01:02:46.000 This is something you don't want everybody to know.

01:02:48.000 Yeah, Ixnay on the ass play.

01:02:50.000 Yeah, it doesn't seem like you would want to broadcast that to just random strangers.

01:02:54.000 That's so funny.

01:02:54.000 But this dude wanted us to know that his girl liked to put vibrators in his asshole.

01:03:00.000 And we were trapped with this guy.

01:03:02.000 And sadly, he wasn't that good of a comedian either.

01:03:06.000 Oh, boy.

01:03:07.000 Yeah.

01:03:08.000 Neither were any of us back then, but we were a little better than him.

01:03:12.000 Right.

01:03:12.000 He was in this range.

01:03:16.000 There's a range that happens with early comedy, young comics coming up where you're like, ooh, I don't know if you're ever going to get out of this.

01:03:22.000 Yeah.

01:03:23.000 No, you can see pretty quickly.

01:03:25.000 Sometimes, some of us, you suck in the beginning, but you have a hint.

01:03:29.000 Yeah, there's something there.

01:03:30.000 There's something there.

01:03:31.000 Yeah, no, exactly.

01:03:32.000 Yeah.

01:03:34.000 Kyle Dunnigan and I did a show early on for a high school in New Jersey.

01:03:40.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:03:40.000 And we drove out there, and the same thing, just be really clean, make sure it's really clean.

01:03:45.000 It's got to be clean.

01:03:47.000 Oh.

01:03:48.000 Kyle went up.

01:03:49.000 I went up.

01:03:50.000 And you're bombing because it's high school kids.

01:03:52.000 You don't have a great act to begin with.

01:03:54.000 And it's all high school children and you have nothing to relate to them.

01:03:57.000 And they don't want to listen to a man talking.

01:04:01.000 How old were you at the time?

01:04:03.000 Probably 32, something like that.

01:04:06.000 I don't know, 35. And...

01:04:08.000 I'm just bombing and just trying to get through it.

01:04:11.000 And then Kyle comes out and he's the whole time backstage.

01:04:16.000 He's like, do I do my songs?

01:04:18.000 Do I do my songs?

01:04:19.000 I'm like, you know, I don't know.

01:04:20.000 Whatever works, you know, just try and keep it clean.

01:04:23.000 He comes out and he sings this song.

01:04:26.000 It was about the Irish parade, the St. Patrick's Day parade, sung like in an Irish brogue.

01:04:39.000 Homosexuals could march in the parade.

01:04:40.000 That was a big thing in New York for like a decade.

01:04:43.000 And Kyle had a funny song about it, and the line was, If my cock is the ladle, your ass be the stew.

01:04:56.000 Like, the song is like an iron.

01:04:58.000 If your cock be the little, me ass be the stew.

01:05:01.000 And I just hear him, like, starting to get to it.

01:05:04.000 And he goes into it.

01:05:05.000 It's the first thing that the audience loves.

01:05:07.000 The kids are so excited by it.

01:05:09.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:09.000 Fast forward, the show's over.

01:05:11.000 We're going to get paid.

01:05:13.000 And a high school principal...

01:05:25.000 Welcome to my show!

01:05:30.000 Your cock is the ladle.

01:05:33.000 And there's two girls.

01:05:35.000 They made us cupcakes and had construction papers saying thank you for performing at our school with stars and moons.

01:05:42.000 And they don't know whether they should give us the treats or not because the principal is just yelling at us.

01:05:47.000 But these are high school students.

01:05:49.000 Oh, so funny.

01:05:50.000 These are high school kids, though.

01:05:51.000 We got the check.

01:05:52.000 Yes, high school kids.

01:05:53.000 They already knew those things.

01:05:55.000 That's why they laughed.

01:05:56.000 Oh, of course, of course.

01:05:58.000 But he couldn't sanction it.

01:05:59.000 But Kyle just, you know, you're dying and you have no material.

01:06:03.000 So what else is he going to do?

01:06:04.000 He had to break out the song.

01:06:05.000 Yeah.

01:06:06.000 There's nothing else he can do, right?

01:06:08.000 He's just trying to survive and get paid and get out of there.

01:06:13.000 Yeah, you gotta survive.

01:06:14.000 You gotta take it on the chin.

01:06:15.000 Hey, you gotta come on my radio show.

01:06:17.000 I gotta?

01:06:18.000 Yeah.

01:06:19.000 Didn't you say you do it at 7 in the morning?

01:06:21.000 7 to 9. Why do you gotta do that?

01:06:23.000 Well, I don't know.

01:06:26.000 It seems like you should do it when you're awake.

01:06:27.000 I know.

01:06:28.000 If you want it to be good.

01:06:29.000 It's really early.

01:06:30.000 Does it stream live or something?

01:06:32.000 Yeah, it's on Sirius.

01:06:33.000 Netflix is a joke radio.

01:06:35.000 They took all their specials and they run them on the Netflix radio.

01:06:41.000 I was thinking that Netflix was going to have its own radio channel.

01:06:45.000 Like they have a Netflix channel.

01:06:48.000 Their own radio channel.

01:06:50.000 That's what I was thinking.

01:06:51.000 Oh, you thought there was going to be a comedy.

01:06:53.000 Yeah, like an app.

01:06:54.000 Like a new thing that they're doing.

01:06:56.000 It's like Raw Dog on SiriusXM or Comedy Greats.

01:06:59.000 So you have to have Sirius to listen to it.

01:07:00.000 That's what I was thinking.

01:07:01.000 You could listen to it on the Netflix app.

01:07:03.000 Because so many people listen to Netflix on their phones now.

01:07:06.000 Oh, really?

01:07:07.000 Yeah.

01:07:08.000 So many people watch specials.

01:07:09.000 I think they said that like 50% of the people that watch my Netflix special watch it on a phone.

01:07:13.000 Wow.

01:07:13.000 Yeah.

01:07:14.000 They're actually even...

01:07:15.000 Many people are formatting their specials to make them better to watch on phones.

01:07:20.000 Oh, interesting.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, like the way they're shooting it in terms of how they zoom in on the shot, what shots they choose.

01:07:27.000 Really?

01:07:27.000 Yeah, they're doing it so you can look at it on a fucking Samsung Galaxy S10 Plus or something.

01:07:33.000 That's interesting.

01:07:34.000 So they have all these specials from all these people, so they started their own channel, and I have the first radio show on it.

01:07:41.000 And it runs 7 to 9 out here, and then 2 to 4. So it's drive time here in the morning, and drive time in New York in the afternoon.

01:07:51.000 And you and Fortune?

01:07:52.000 Fortune Feimster?

01:07:53.000 Fortune Feimster, yeah.

01:07:54.000 She's so funny.

01:07:55.000 She's very funny.

01:07:55.000 I love her so much.

01:07:56.000 Very cool person, too.

01:07:57.000 They were like, who do you want to do this with you?

01:08:01.000 And she was on this short list.

01:08:03.000 I was like, oh, done.

01:08:04.000 She always seems very friendly.

01:08:05.000 She's really funny.

01:08:06.000 She's just bright.

01:08:07.000 She murders, too.

01:08:07.000 She murders.

01:08:08.000 Murders on stage.

01:08:09.000 She's so funny.

01:08:10.000 She's very, very funny.

01:08:11.000 Her Instagram's really funny.

01:08:12.000 Isn't it?

01:08:13.000 She dances.

01:08:13.000 She does ice cream dances.

01:08:15.000 She always gets an ice cream cone and dances along with it.

01:08:18.000 We need to get her and Fahim together so we can work out.

01:08:21.000 But it's cool because it's all comedy.

01:08:22.000 It's all comedians coming in, talking about their specials, talking about comedy.

01:08:26.000 Yeah, it's pretty fun, but it's early.

01:08:28.000 Why do they make you do that?

01:08:29.000 I don't know.

01:08:30.000 I'm not sure if it's really necessary.

01:08:32.000 Yeah, you've got to put your foot down.

01:08:33.000 You could do it the night before and have it run in the morning.

01:08:36.000 Because we're not doing hard news.

01:08:38.000 You could just bypass that system and do a podcast.

01:08:42.000 I do have a podcast.

01:08:44.000 I know you do.

01:08:45.000 But do it in a podcast form.

01:08:47.000 Yeah, just do a successful podcast.

01:08:50.000 Do you have a specific contract for a certain amount of time?

01:08:53.000 I'm not trying to get you out of here.

01:08:56.000 Yeah, we're going to do it for a year.

01:08:58.000 And then, it is fun.

01:09:01.000 I am enjoying it.

01:09:02.000 But you know what?

01:09:04.000 It's going to mess with my spots during the week.

01:09:06.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:07.000 Yeah, that's what we were saying.

01:09:08.000 I was saying if you wanted to do the improv tomorrow night, you said you really can't.

01:09:11.000 Because you've got to get up early in the morning.

01:09:13.000 I could do an early show.

01:09:14.000 I can't do late shows.

01:09:16.000 Tough shit.

01:09:17.000 No late show.

01:09:19.000 Show starts at 10.30.

01:09:20.000 I don't know what to tell you.

01:09:22.000 We're not going to move everything back for you, Tom.

01:09:24.000 Why?

01:09:24.000 I thought we were friends.

01:09:25.000 You shouldn't have a job like that.

01:09:26.000 It's a preposterous job.

01:09:27.000 You're up at 7 in the morning talking.

01:09:29.000 It's crazy.

01:09:30.000 Yeah, it's doing morning radio all the time.

01:09:32.000 If I'm up at 7 in the morning, I'm exercising.

01:09:34.000 I'm not...

01:09:35.000 I want to get things done first.

01:09:38.000 I don't want to just wake up and talk.

01:09:40.000 I'm not ready yet.

01:09:41.000 I can't remember names.

01:09:43.000 My memory is 50% is good when I first wake up.

01:09:47.000 Really?

01:09:47.000 Yeah.

01:09:48.000 50%?

01:09:49.000 It sucks.

01:09:50.000 It's terrible.

01:09:51.000 You hit me with a pop quiz.

01:09:52.000 How long does it take you to dust off the cobwebs?

01:09:54.000 I don't know.

01:09:55.000 I often thought about that, right?

01:09:56.000 I often thought about how dumb I am during the day if there's a meter.

01:10:01.000 If you could see, like, now I should make some good decisions.

01:10:04.000 He's getting smarter, getting smarter.

01:10:06.000 Too in the afternoon, I'm feeling pretty fucking good.

01:10:09.000 But somewhere around late at night, everything starts to fall apart.

01:10:13.000 And early in the morning, everything falls apart.

01:10:15.000 What's late at night for you?

01:10:17.000 Like 1-ish, 1.30.

01:10:18.000 I don't work out at 1.30 in the morning.

01:10:21.000 I really don't have the energy to work out.

01:10:24.000 You mean physically working?

01:10:25.000 Yeah.

01:10:25.000 Sometimes I'll be writing at 1.30 in the morning.

01:10:28.000 And I can write at 1.30 in the morning.

01:10:30.000 But if I had to go through one of my workout routines...

01:10:32.000 Like a physical activity.

01:10:34.000 Like a real workout.

01:10:35.000 I can't do it.

01:10:36.000 I'm too tired.

01:10:37.000 Well, you shouldn't.

01:10:38.000 It's 1 o'clock in the morning.

01:10:39.000 Right.

01:10:39.000 But that's letting you know that there's a cycle to where you have energy and where you don't have energy.

01:10:45.000 Where you're awake and where you're not awake.

01:10:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:47.000 But some people, they perform way better late in the afternoon.

01:10:51.000 Like, I used to feel that way about jiu-jitsu class.

01:10:54.000 Like, early morning jiu-jitsu classes, I was terrible.

01:10:56.000 I just couldn't get my body warmed up.

01:10:58.000 Oh, really?

01:10:59.000 Yeah, I didn't like them.

01:11:00.000 But the evening ones, like an 8.30 class, I was peaking.

01:11:04.000 Oh, interesting.

01:11:05.000 I'm better working out early.

01:11:08.000 Yeah?

01:11:08.000 Yeah.

01:11:09.000 It's like after lunch.

01:11:11.000 What is a typical Tom Papa day?

01:11:13.000 How do you start your day?

01:11:15.000 Radio day or no radio day?

01:11:16.000 Editing jerking off parts.

01:11:19.000 I don't want to hear those parts.

01:11:20.000 Well, I guess we're fast forwarding to noon.

01:11:25.000 Okay, give me a radio day.

01:11:27.000 Non-radio day.

01:11:28.000 Okay, non-radio day.

01:11:28.000 Non-radio day.

01:11:30.000 I get up at 7. Damn.

01:11:32.000 I get up at 7. I go upstairs.

01:11:33.000 Like a soldier.

01:11:34.000 I make coffee.

01:11:36.000 I get one cup of coffee.

01:11:37.000 Do you play classical music softly?

01:11:39.000 Once in a while.

01:11:40.000 I picture you OCD butter in your toast.

01:11:43.000 No, I don't eat straight away.

01:11:46.000 It's just straight black coffee.

01:11:48.000 Into the office.

01:11:49.000 I have an office.

01:11:51.000 And I try and write.

01:11:53.000 I sit at the desk.

01:11:54.000 I call it going into the shop.

01:11:56.000 And I sit there and I write.

01:11:57.000 And I make sure that there's no...

01:12:00.000 I don't do appointments until noon.

01:12:02.000 Anything I'm going to do, I don't do until noon.

01:12:05.000 Except if I'm going to go for a run or workout.

01:12:09.000 I'll put in a couple hours, and then when I start to fade, I'll go for a run and then come back and continue.

01:12:18.000 Oh, I skipped something.

01:12:20.000 I'm sorry.

01:12:22.000 Before the coffee, if I'm up early enough and the house isn't up, I'll meditate first for 20 minutes.

01:12:30.000 Before you even write.

01:12:32.000 Coffee before I write.

01:12:33.000 Really?

01:12:34.000 Yeah.

01:12:34.000 Wake up, water in the face, maybe brush teeth.

01:12:38.000 Up into the office and then take 20 right away.

01:12:41.000 Because it's more restful than sleep.

01:12:44.000 So even if you had like a bad night's sleep or you're tossing or whatever was going on, you're now ready to go through the day.

01:12:53.000 What kind of meditation are you doing?

01:12:54.000 TM. Transcendental Meditation.

01:12:58.000 Transcendental Meditation.

01:13:01.000 There's a weird thing about that, right?

01:13:04.000 Some people think it's kind of culty.

01:13:06.000 It's not culty.

01:13:07.000 It's not culty.

01:13:07.000 There's no leaders.

01:13:09.000 Right, but wasn't there some controversy with TM a while back?

01:13:15.000 I think so.

01:13:16.000 No?

01:13:16.000 Am I misconstruing it with something else?

01:13:18.000 Yeah, no.

01:13:19.000 That's why I like it.

01:13:21.000 I'm very into it.

01:13:22.000 I've been doing it for a long time.

01:13:25.000 It's great, but I like yoga.

01:13:27.000 I like all that kind of stuff.

01:13:29.000 Unless you get a little hippy-dippy with it and a little too preachy, then I'm out.

01:13:34.000 Yeah, me too.

01:13:35.000 And this is totally basic, simple.

01:13:41.000 I think?

01:14:10.000 Right.

01:14:17.000 Always.

01:14:17.000 It was so annoying.

01:14:19.000 I know.

01:14:19.000 And he wound up banging this other dude's wife.

01:14:21.000 Of course.

01:14:21.000 And it became a giant disaster.

01:14:23.000 He's the guy with the acoustic guitar making eye contact with you.

01:14:25.000 So funny you say that.

01:14:26.000 He would sing.

01:14:27.000 Yeah.

01:14:28.000 Sing in clashes.

01:14:29.000 Of course.

01:14:30.000 No, you can smell it.

01:14:33.000 And that's why I had a hard time with yoga until I found this one teacher, and she was just great.

01:14:37.000 And it's the same thing with TM. Controversy.

01:14:39.000 Here it is.

01:14:40.000 There was some cult controversy or something a while ago with it.

01:14:44.000 Yeah, okay.

01:14:45.000 With TM? Can we make that a little larger?

01:14:47.000 I can barely read that shit.

01:14:48.000 Yeah, that's really small.

01:14:50.000 What's that?

01:14:50.000 The organization has been the subject of controversy labeled a cult by several parliamentary inquiries or anti-cult movements of the world.

01:14:59.000 Some also suggest that TM, its movements are not a cult.

01:15:02.000 The TM movement has been characterized in a variety of ways.

01:15:06.000 It's been called a spiritual movement, a new religious movement, a millenarian, a world affirming movement, a social movement, a guru-centered movement.

01:15:20.000 How a new book exposes the dark side of Transcendental Medication.

01:15:23.000 I don't even understand where you would have, like, where it would happen.

01:15:27.000 Like, there's no place to go.

01:15:29.000 Well, I'm honestly ignorant of it, so explain it to us.

01:15:31.000 Yeah, there's nothing, it's very, you know, I tried meditating in all these different ways, and this kind of made it very simple.

01:15:39.000 Doesn't Seinfeld do this, too?

01:15:40.000 Yes.

01:15:41.000 He's the end of TM? Yeah, he's actually the one that got me into it.

01:15:44.000 And for a long time, I was thinking, well, I meditate.

01:15:46.000 I count breaths.

01:15:47.000 I'd kind of do it.

01:15:48.000 I wasn't really feeling...

01:15:50.000 I always had in my head that maybe TM is different.

01:15:54.000 Maybe going and learning that would kind of dial it in a little bit more.

01:15:58.000 So you took classes on it?

01:15:59.000 So I took four classes.

01:16:00.000 You saw this guy here in California.

01:16:05.000 And...

01:16:06.000 Just go for an hour, four days in a row, and he teaches you what to do it.

01:16:11.000 And the analogy is that there's this...

01:16:14.000 The reality is just in this tumultuous ocean waves.

01:16:20.000 We're on the top.

01:16:21.000 We're on the surface.

01:16:22.000 That's where we live.

01:16:23.000 And this is just a way, through a mantra, to get you down below the waves to sit for 20 minutes.

01:16:30.000 And it's very freeing because there's no...

01:16:34.000 There's no controlling your mind.

01:16:35.000 There's no forcing it to come back and count breaths.

01:16:39.000 You're not thinking about what you have to do.

01:16:43.000 You just do the mantra, do the mantra, and then let it go.

01:16:46.000 And if your brain starts thinking about work, it thinks about work.

01:16:49.000 If it starts thinking about your wife, just let it be, let it be, let it be.

01:16:55.000 And 20 minutes, you pop out of it.

01:16:58.000 And you feel...

01:17:01.000 Not right away, I don't feel changed immediately.

01:17:05.000 Like I'll feel, you know, I have an Apple Watch and my heart rate is low.

01:17:09.000 Like it's 40 to 50. All the time or when you're doing this?

01:17:13.000 No, when I'm doing that.

01:17:14.000 How much is it normally?

01:17:16.000 Probably like 80. What's it right now?

01:17:20.000 How long does it take to find that out?

01:17:21.000 It's going to take a while.

01:17:23.000 Hey Siri.

01:17:24.000 It's at 80. And you get down to 40 when you do TM? Yeah.

01:17:29.000 It's very calming.

01:17:30.000 And it just kind of gives your nervous system a respite.

01:17:35.000 That's pretty heavy.

01:17:36.000 It's pretty great.

01:17:37.000 It gives me a lot of energy.

01:17:39.000 Did I activate Siri by saying, hey Siri?

01:17:43.000 Oh yeah, Siri did.

01:17:44.000 I didn't catch that.

01:17:46.000 People right now are screaming at me because their car is going, boo-boo!

01:17:50.000 What would you like me to do?

01:17:51.000 But I don't feel it right away, but I'll notice it hours later that I have more energy.

01:17:58.000 I'm still going.

01:17:59.000 What is the process?

01:18:00.000 How do you do it?

01:18:01.000 I just sit.

01:18:02.000 And what's the mantra?

01:18:04.000 Everyone has an individual mantra.

01:18:05.000 Tell us your mantra.

01:18:06.000 I can't.

01:18:06.000 Come on, bro.

01:18:08.000 What if someone's a gigantic Tom Papa fan?

01:18:10.000 They want to do everything that you do.

01:18:12.000 Well, that's true.

01:18:13.000 It's jelly beans.

01:18:15.000 That's what you say?

01:18:15.000 No.

01:18:16.000 Liar.

01:18:18.000 It's just a noise, pretty much.

01:18:20.000 Wouldn't it be weird if you just kept saying Jerry Seinfeld?

01:18:22.000 Jerry Seinfeld.

01:18:23.000 Jerry Seinfeld.

01:18:25.000 Jerry Seinfeld.

01:18:27.000 Sourd dough.

01:18:30.000 Sourd dough.

01:18:32.000 Sourd dough would be cool.

01:18:34.000 Sourd dough.

01:18:35.000 Because it's a delicious food.

01:18:36.000 Sourd dough.

01:18:36.000 But it wouldn't be nearly as weird.

01:18:39.000 Something about...

01:18:40.000 Brad Garrett.

01:18:42.000 Brad Garrett.

01:18:44.000 Brad Garrett.

01:18:45.000 Brad Garrett.

01:18:47.000 Yeah, it would be weird.

01:18:48.000 Strange, right?

01:18:49.000 So, I do it first thing in the morning.

01:18:53.000 20 minutes.

01:18:54.000 And then sometime in the late afternoon.

01:18:56.000 So, can you explain?

01:18:57.000 All you do is you sit and you just chant your mantra?

01:19:00.000 In my mind.

01:19:01.000 And you don't say it out loud?

01:19:02.000 Don't say it out loud.

01:19:03.000 Okay.

01:19:03.000 So, as you're just...

01:19:04.000 When you're repeating the mantra in your mind, you just try to stay on path?

01:19:09.000 I just keep saying it.

01:19:11.000 I don't try and stay on a path.

01:19:12.000 I don't force anything.

01:19:14.000 I just keep saying it.

01:19:15.000 But if your brain tries to trick you and say, hey, Tom, I have a great idea for a new bit, do you let it happen?

01:19:20.000 Let it go.

01:19:21.000 It's okay.

01:19:22.000 Do you write the bit down?

01:19:23.000 No.

01:19:25.000 Whoa, you're risking it all.

01:19:26.000 I'm not that great of a comedian, so those things don't happen.

01:19:32.000 There's moments where I have fucking been laying in bed and I was too tired to get up and I'd say, I'm going to remember this for sure.

01:19:38.000 I'll remember that for sure.

01:19:39.000 And I definitely didn't.

01:19:41.000 No.

01:19:42.000 And yeah, 20 minutes.

01:19:45.000 And I'm telling you, my one friend described it as, it adds another four hours to your day.

01:19:52.000 Wow.

01:19:53.000 And it's really true.

01:19:55.000 When you call me today, last minute to come in, I took 20 before I came because I was dragging.

01:20:02.000 I went for a run this morning.

01:20:03.000 I meditated this morning, but then I went for a run.

01:20:06.000 I came back.

01:20:06.000 I was writing.

01:20:08.000 And you called and you're like, can you come on over?

01:20:11.000 I was like, yeah, that's cool, but let me drop for 15 minutes before I get in the car.

01:20:16.000 So that's what you did.

01:20:17.000 You meditated for 15 minutes?

01:20:18.000 Yeah.

01:20:19.000 Wow.

01:20:19.000 Do you do that before sets?

01:20:20.000 No.

01:20:21.000 If I'm tired, yeah.

01:20:22.000 If it's towards the end of the day and I've got something at night that's a little later.

01:20:27.000 Does it help you make decisions?

01:20:29.000 Yes.

01:20:30.000 How did you still make the decision to do a radio show at 7 in the morning?

01:20:34.000 Because I'm not afraid of it.

01:20:36.000 Wow.

01:20:36.000 Because I know that I can meditate and I'll have energy.

01:20:40.000 How many days a week do you do that?

01:20:41.000 I don't have to worry about getting a good night's sleep.

01:20:43.000 Ever?

01:20:44.000 No.

01:20:45.000 That's crazy.

01:20:45.000 I can meditate, and then I'll be okay for the show.

01:20:48.000 That's crazy.

01:20:49.000 I can't do that.

01:20:50.000 Yes, you can.

01:20:50.000 You should go.

01:20:51.000 I can.

01:20:52.000 You should go.

01:20:53.000 Okay.

01:20:54.000 Really?

01:20:54.000 Yeah, I'd love to.

01:20:55.000 I'll hook you up with the guy.

01:20:56.000 Can I just watch a YouTube video?

01:20:57.000 Isn't that good enough?

01:20:58.000 No.

01:20:59.000 I've learned so much from YouTube, though.

01:21:00.000 Have you?

01:21:01.000 Yes.

01:21:02.000 It's true.

01:21:04.000 Why can't you learn Transcendental Meditation from YouTube?

01:21:07.000 You know what?

01:21:08.000 There is this mystery about it, and I would research it, and I was like, why can't I just learn it?

01:21:13.000 The only difference is having this man explain it to you It kind of dials it in.

01:21:19.000 And I went back once since I learned it initially just to kind of tune up.

01:21:25.000 There's not that much, but it's just, you know, they give you a little bit, you know, it's like playing tennis or something.

01:21:30.000 And they're like, no, just hold it like this.

01:21:31.000 Oh, right.

01:21:32.000 Okay.

01:21:32.000 Or like in yoga, they're like, you think you're doing this, but your elbows are out.

01:21:37.000 Just kind of bring them in.

01:21:38.000 That's big in yoga.

01:21:39.000 Like sometimes the instructor will give you one thing.

01:21:42.000 She'll say one thing about the way you're standing or the way you Keep your weight.

01:21:45.000 You're like, oh, man.

01:21:47.000 And you just change it just slightly.

01:21:49.000 You're like, oh, my God.

01:21:50.000 It's so much harder.

01:21:51.000 I know, which you never would have learned at home.

01:21:54.000 So it's kind of a similar thing.

01:21:56.000 And over time, so that's what it is on a daily basis.

01:22:02.000 But over time...

01:22:04.000 It makes you more chill.

01:22:08.000 Things don't bother me the way they used to bother me.

01:22:13.000 Just day-to-day aggravations.

01:22:15.000 Normal bullshit.

01:22:16.000 Normal bullshit.

01:22:20.000 You slowly transform without realizing it.

01:22:23.000 Do you know who Dan Harris is?

01:22:26.000 Sam Harris?

01:22:27.000 Dan Harris?

01:22:28.000 Dan Harris?

01:22:29.000 No.

01:22:31.000 From, what is the show, Nightline?

01:22:35.000 Is that what he's on?

01:22:36.000 Anyway, he'd been on the podcast for a really nice guy.

01:22:38.000 He's got an app called 10% Happier.

01:22:43.000 And it's just a meditation app.

01:22:45.000 And he wants people to know that it's been super beneficial to him.

01:22:50.000 So he talks about it often.

01:22:51.000 He talked about it on my podcast.

01:22:52.000 And he actually used the tank.

01:22:54.000 He's the only guy other than me that's ever used that tank.

01:22:57.000 I want to use the tank.

01:22:58.000 Okay.

01:22:59.000 This was a weird thing.

01:23:00.000 I don't offer it to fucking everybody, but Dan Harris is the only one who said, I'm in.

01:23:03.000 Let's do it.

01:23:03.000 When you called me today, I was online looking at tanks.

01:23:09.000 Did you ever ruin your house for one?

01:23:11.000 No.

01:23:12.000 That thing's big.

01:23:13.000 It's big.

01:23:14.000 It's big.

01:23:15.000 It's hotter than I thought.

01:23:16.000 Well, you don't want to be cold in there.

01:23:18.000 No, it's true.

01:23:18.000 It's 94 degrees.

01:23:20.000 94. Yeah, that's what you want.

01:23:22.000 That's about the temperature of the surface of your skin, somewhere in that range.

01:23:27.000 How did he like it?

01:23:27.000 How long do I stay in there?

01:23:28.000 An hour?

01:23:29.000 You can stay as long as you want.

01:23:30.000 The most I ever do, though, is two hours.

01:23:32.000 I've done more on edibles.

01:23:34.000 Oh, really?

01:23:35.000 Because I couldn't move.

01:23:36.000 I just had to stay put.

01:23:39.000 For real?

01:23:39.000 Yes.

01:23:41.000 Yeah, I've gone on some journeys.

01:23:41.000 You ate edibles and went in there?

01:23:43.000 Oh, many times.

01:23:44.000 Really?

01:23:45.000 Oh, for sure, yeah.

01:23:46.000 That sounds kind of crazy.

01:23:48.000 It's crazy.

01:23:49.000 Edibles have a unique visual quality when you're in a sensory deprivation tank because the tank enhances any sort of sensory experience.

01:24:00.000 Any psychedelic experience is enhanced by the tank.

01:24:02.000 Right.

01:24:03.000 Because the tank removes the environment.

01:24:04.000 It removes the world.

01:24:05.000 Right.

01:24:06.000 And it puts you in this place where you don't see anything or hear anything or feel anything.

01:24:10.000 You're just flying through space.

01:24:11.000 You put the ear things in?

01:24:12.000 I don't.

01:24:13.000 I just let salt water get in my ears.

01:24:15.000 That's what I saw online.

01:24:16.000 I just rinse my ears out after it's over.

01:24:18.000 It seems to be fun.

01:24:19.000 Right.

01:24:19.000 And just float.

01:24:20.000 You don't have to keep your head up.

01:24:21.000 I like my ears in the water.

01:24:22.000 It doesn't bother me.

01:24:23.000 I put my ears in the water when I swim, too.

01:24:26.000 I'm not wearing earplugs when I swim in the ocean.

01:24:29.000 Why am I wearing earplugs when I lay in this tank?

01:24:31.000 I thought it was an audio thing, that you're trying to shut out noise.

01:24:36.000 You can do it, but I'm always aware of the plugs.

01:24:38.000 They kind of fuck with the balance of your head.

01:24:41.000 Yeah, I get that.

01:24:44.000 But if you had something over the ear, well, anyway, you can do it.

01:24:48.000 Some people like it that way.

01:24:49.000 Some people use the wax.

01:24:50.000 You don't have to.

01:24:51.000 No, you don't have to.

01:24:52.000 Some people actually get them form-fitted to their ears, so they slide in really easily, so you barely even notice that they're there.

01:24:58.000 And...

01:24:59.000 My understanding is that you lay like you're floating, but you don't have to support yourself.

01:25:04.000 You don't have to do shit.

01:25:05.000 Your neck, your head, anything.

01:25:06.000 Nope, nothing.

01:25:07.000 Yeah, you have to do it.

01:25:08.000 I can't believe you've never done it before.

01:25:09.000 Yeah, no, I'm really...

01:25:10.000 It's super easy.

01:25:11.000 It's right here.

01:25:12.000 You tell me when.

01:25:12.000 All right.

01:25:13.000 We'll open it up.

01:25:13.000 That'd be great.

01:25:14.000 There's a shower in that room.

01:25:16.000 It's real easy.

01:25:17.000 You just have to lay there and just slow down and just concentrate on your breathing.

01:25:22.000 If you already have your TM routine, I'm sure you could do it in there.

01:25:28.000 Yeah.

01:25:28.000 Just do it in there.

01:25:29.000 It'd probably be amazing.

01:25:30.000 Right.

01:25:31.000 You'd want to buy a house with an extra garage bay so you can stick one in it.

01:25:36.000 Yeah.

01:25:36.000 I knew a guy who had one.

01:25:39.000 I didn't know him, but I knew the guy who installed it.

01:25:42.000 The guy installed a shed in his backyard just so he could have the tank.

01:25:46.000 Really?

01:25:46.000 Yeah, so he bought a tool shed that you could buy and build.

01:25:50.000 So he built this shed, had electricity plumbed out to it, must have got some sort of a building permit, and then plugged this fucking tank into the shed, because he wanted one so bad in his house, and he didn't have any room in his actual house.

01:26:06.000 How often do you do it, and what does it give you?

01:26:08.000 Well, I do it whenever I can.

01:26:11.000 What I like is once a week.

01:26:12.000 If I get once a week in, that would be awesome.

01:26:14.000 Wow, that's a lot.

01:26:15.000 Lately, I haven't been.

01:26:16.000 Lately, it's been more like once a month.

01:26:18.000 Right.

01:26:18.000 But when I do get in it, I just can have a better perspective.

01:26:24.000 It calms me down.

01:26:26.000 Right.

01:26:26.000 It puts me into this place where I'm not connected to the world anymore, so I feel like I can look at the world from an outside perspective.

01:26:34.000 You carry that with you when you leave, you mean?

01:26:37.000 You carry something.

01:26:38.000 I mean, I think all these things are accumulative.

01:26:40.000 Yeah.

01:26:41.000 All the books you read, the documentaries you watch, all the conversations you have with insightful people, all those things have an accumulation effect.

01:26:50.000 I agree.

01:26:51.000 As you become exposed to more things and talk to more cool people and listen to more cool ideas and have these cool conversations with people, your perspective enhances.

01:27:02.000 Yeah.

01:27:02.000 It just does.

01:27:03.000 No, it does.

01:27:04.000 It seeps in.

01:27:05.000 Yeah.

01:27:06.000 No, I totally buy it.

01:27:07.000 I think we should think of your perception the same way we think about other skills, that some people are really good at running with a football, right?

01:27:14.000 It's super hard to take them down.

01:27:16.000 They're so good at anticipating your moves and getting out of the way, and they have everything down, right?

01:27:22.000 Yeah.

01:27:23.000 I think that's the same way with everything.

01:27:26.000 Everything.

01:27:27.000 Including your own perceptions of life and the way you view and the way you manage your own life.

01:27:33.000 I think you can get really good at it where things come in your way.

01:27:37.000 You just, whoop, not today, motherfucker.

01:27:39.000 Oh, shit, not me.

01:27:40.000 He ain't getting me.

01:27:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:42.000 Or you could be that person who's like a super uncoordinated, unathletic kid.

01:27:48.000 All reaction.

01:27:49.000 Yeah, who is trying to tackle a super athlete.

01:27:52.000 Right.

01:27:53.000 It's too hard!

01:27:54.000 You know?

01:27:55.000 Right?

01:27:56.000 No, 100%.

01:27:57.000 But I think we don't think about it that way, though.

01:27:59.000 Because the one way is thoughtful, the other way is thoughtless.

01:28:02.000 Yes.

01:28:03.000 I think that seems to be kind of the key.

01:28:06.000 For sure.

01:28:07.000 Just paying attention to that aspect of your life.

01:28:10.000 That definitely has an effect on it.

01:28:11.000 Yeah.

01:28:12.000 But what I'm saying is also that, that is definitely true, but what I'm saying is also that I think the way you interface with life is a skill.

01:28:20.000 And I think we don't think of it as a skill.

01:28:22.000 We don't think of it as something you get better at.

01:28:25.000 Or that we even try to get better at.

01:28:27.000 And this includes the way you communicate with people.

01:28:30.000 This includes the friendships that you have.

01:28:34.000 Making sure your friends know that you love them.

01:28:36.000 Making sure your friends know you care about them.

01:28:38.000 All these things are...

01:28:39.000 This is a part of the way you live life.

01:28:42.000 And you get better at this as a skill.

01:28:46.000 We only think of skills as things that we decide to do.

01:28:49.000 I want to play piano.

01:28:50.000 Oh my god, you have a skill at playing piano.

01:28:51.000 I'm a really good golfer.

01:28:53.000 Oh, you have golfing skill.

01:28:54.000 You don't think of the way you interface with people.

01:28:58.000 You don't think of that as a skill.

01:28:59.000 No, I know.

01:29:00.000 But I think we should.

01:29:01.000 Yes, absolutely.

01:29:03.000 I always think of that in terms of the interpersonal stuff.

01:29:07.000 Just in basic manners.

01:29:08.000 Like there used to be real guidelines for how you said hello to somebody and when you took your hat off and how you said goodbye and all those little, all those what were perceived as stuffy, mannerly things that people had to do, stuck up people had to do.

01:29:25.000 They're helpful.

01:29:26.000 They're really like how to act at a funeral, how to act at a birthday party, all those little rules.

01:29:32.000 Etiquette.

01:29:32.000 Etiquette, exactly.

01:29:33.000 Yeah, they used to teach courses in etiquette.

01:29:36.000 Yes, and without it, it's kind of like, it's stupid not to play with it, because we need a bit of, all the stuff we're talking about is creating your own little guidebook to get through life.

01:29:47.000 Do you think they still teach etiquette in any high schools?

01:29:50.000 Is that a focus of study?

01:29:53.000 We have such little money for schools.

01:29:56.000 They're getting rid of art.

01:29:57.000 They're getting rid of gym.

01:29:58.000 There's probably not a lot of etiquette.

01:30:01.000 That seems like a critical life skill, though.

01:30:04.000 It is.

01:30:04.000 It really is.

01:30:05.000 It really is.

01:30:06.000 Because how you...

01:30:07.000 One of the things that's true is how much people enjoy being around you.

01:30:12.000 That makes your life more enjoyable.

01:30:14.000 And people don't think of it that way.

01:30:16.000 They oftentimes think...

01:30:19.000 Right.

01:30:25.000 Right.

01:30:35.000 That's right.

01:30:35.000 Of going through life like with a narcissistic perspective.

01:30:39.000 Yeah.

01:30:39.000 One of the major problems with that is there's no one to share it with because you're all out for yourself.

01:30:44.000 That's right.

01:30:45.000 Even if you get there, you're going to be filled with sadness and despair.

01:30:49.000 That's right.

01:30:50.000 It's not what you want.

01:30:51.000 What you want is to be happy, right?

01:30:53.000 Well, I know you think that you have to be all about yourself to be happy, but in fact, that is a way to ensure unhappiness regardless of success.

01:31:02.000 That's right.

01:31:02.000 That's the mind fog.

01:31:03.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:31:04.000 That's the mindfire.

01:31:05.000 Well, you think that these small things wouldn't have a big effect on you, right?

01:31:09.000 You think that, well, like having a sense of community, going to the same shops all the time, you would think that's just me doing errands.

01:31:16.000 No.

01:31:17.000 You're now connected to the woman that works at that pharmacy.

01:31:20.000 You're connected to that bagger at the grocery store.

01:31:23.000 You're connected to that person at the church, whatever it is in your little world.

01:31:27.000 And you think you're just going about your day, but you're not.

01:31:30.000 You're getting enriched by these...

01:31:32.000 By these interactions with people.

01:31:35.000 Dealing with other human beings in a nice manner is rewarding, and it gives you a sense of place, it gives you a sense of belonging, a sense of love, all of those things.

01:31:46.000 But you have to learn that yourself.

01:31:48.000 That's the problem.

01:31:49.000 It's true, but that's, yeah.

01:31:50.000 Nobody guides you along that path.

01:31:52.000 It's an important perspective.

01:31:54.000 It really is.

01:32:10.000 It benefits everybody.

01:32:11.000 Yeah.

01:32:11.000 And when you're in a position where you can help your friends in that way and you support each other and you build each other up, when that person has success, you get great joy, like great satisfaction from seeing your friends succeed.

01:32:24.000 Yeah, right, exactly.

01:32:25.000 A lot of people have a hard time, especially, I mean, I don't know how it was when you were starting out comedian, but I had a hard time with other people's success when I first started out.

01:32:33.000 And I think we all did.

01:32:34.000 Yeah.

01:32:34.000 Because nothing was happening for me.

01:32:35.000 I was like, goddammit, how did he get that show?

01:32:38.000 Oh my god, how did he get this?

01:32:40.000 It's a dumb way to look at it.

01:32:42.000 And I had to recognize that it was dumb.

01:32:44.000 I had to learn.

01:32:45.000 Me too.

01:32:45.000 Just by paying attention to myself, going, what is wrong with you?

01:32:48.000 I will occasionally talk to myself as if I'm me, outside of me, going, what the fuck is this?

01:32:54.000 Sometimes it's the only way...

01:32:55.000 To really look at yourself right.

01:32:57.000 It's hard to do, but if you just...

01:32:59.000 How would I feel if I wasn't me?

01:33:02.000 If I was outside of me, watching me, I'd be like, what are you bitching about that guy getting a thing, you fucking idiot?

01:33:08.000 You're not even working on yourself.

01:33:09.000 You're sitting here complaining about stuff.

01:33:10.000 Yeah.

01:33:11.000 But that's default for so many people.

01:33:13.000 Well, that's envy.

01:33:14.000 Right.

01:33:14.000 Right?

01:33:15.000 And it's very easy to have when you're discovering yourself and trying to make your way as a comedian.

01:33:21.000 And you're like, well, I'm doing all the right things.

01:33:23.000 People laugh at me.

01:33:24.000 Why did that guy just show up and he's on MTV and I'm not?

01:33:28.000 Sure.

01:33:28.000 I mean, and that also exists in haters, right?

01:33:31.000 Like when you see someone, especially when it comes to sports teams, you see some of the guys that are like sports haters or they'll call this guy a pussy and this guy fucking sucks and he's a bum and he's a this and he's that.

01:33:42.000 How much effort are you putting into your own life?

01:33:45.000 Right.

01:33:45.000 How much are you putting into shitting on this guy?

01:33:48.000 Right.

01:33:49.000 Well, it's easier to do that.

01:33:51.000 Oh, my God.

01:33:52.000 So much easier.

01:33:53.000 It's instantaneous.

01:33:54.000 Yeah.

01:33:54.000 It's right there.

01:33:54.000 Instant gratitude.

01:33:55.000 Yeah.

01:33:56.000 Gratification, rather.

01:33:57.000 I remember I had the same thing that you did.

01:34:00.000 I was in New York.

01:34:00.000 I was working at the Comedy Cellar, and I was just getting angry and frustrated.

01:34:04.000 I couldn't get on Conan.

01:34:05.000 I wanted to get on Conan.

01:34:07.000 I just wanted to get on Conan.

01:34:08.000 And it wasn't until I stopped paying attention to what everyone else was doing consciously, like told myself, don't even go in the room.

01:34:16.000 Don't read about other people.

01:34:17.000 Just blinders.

01:34:19.000 Put blinders on.

01:34:20.000 This is just you and your little path.

01:34:21.000 Enjoy yourself and go about it.

01:34:23.000 And try and really shut it out.

01:34:26.000 And that's when everything got correct.

01:34:28.000 And when it got correct, that's when I got Conan.

01:34:30.000 That's when all these things started happening because I was only worried about myself.

01:34:34.000 And then later on, now you have perspective.

01:34:37.000 You can watch other people and actually have joy that these people are doing these things.

01:34:42.000 Conan is the nerd seal of approval.

01:34:45.000 If you're a nerd comedian, and I mean that in a good way, like if you're a smart comedian and you get Conan, that's like, damn, you nailed it.

01:34:52.000 You got the smart show.

01:34:53.000 That's the smart show.

01:34:55.000 It was always.

01:34:56.000 I did it, yeah.

01:34:57.000 The first one was in New York.

01:34:58.000 Yeah, when he was in New York, one of my friends was writing for him in the early, early, early, early, early days.

01:35:04.000 Yeah.

01:35:05.000 Well, he was so creative.

01:35:06.000 He was a writer.

01:35:08.000 Yeah, he was a real funny writer, and everything came from that.

01:35:13.000 So you wanted to be a part.

01:35:15.000 You couldn't be hacky and get on the show, so you had to be working.

01:35:21.000 You had to try and be unique.

01:35:23.000 It was a seal of approval that you were comedically unique, and that was important.

01:35:28.000 I knew a couple guys who worked for him.

01:35:31.000 Brian Kiley, I think?

01:35:33.000 Yeah, he's still there.

01:35:34.000 Yeah, he's still there?

01:35:34.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 Yeah, Brian Kiley.

01:35:35.000 Him and Laurie Kilmartin.

01:35:36.000 Oh, I don't know Laurie, but I knew another guy, Amir, Amir Golan.

01:35:41.000 Mm-hmm.

01:35:42.000 His stage name was James Lemur.

01:35:45.000 Funny dude.

01:35:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:46.000 But he worked for him, and he and I were friends, and I went to one of the early tapings.

01:35:50.000 It was weird to see, because they had scripted conversations.

01:35:54.000 Now, eventually, he went on to become so comfortable on stage, where he just would ask questions and then play off and riff.

01:36:00.000 Right.

01:36:00.000 But in the early days, they had their conversation scripted.

01:36:03.000 What do you mean, the conversation?

01:36:05.000 And a guest?

01:36:07.000 No, and what's his face?

01:36:08.000 His sidekick, Andy Richter.

01:36:10.000 Him and Andy Richter would be reading off cue cards.

01:36:14.000 Oh, really?

01:36:14.000 Yeah, so they would know what they were going to say.

01:36:17.000 Wow.

01:36:18.000 They were basically doing like a sketch.

01:36:20.000 That's a writer.

01:36:21.000 Right.

01:36:21.000 Yeah.

01:36:22.000 It's like they had written out the jokes.

01:36:24.000 Right.

01:36:25.000 But it was like, of course the network wanted that because they wanted to make sure it was funny.

01:36:28.000 How do you know it's not funny?

01:36:29.000 Write it.

01:36:30.000 Write it out.

01:36:30.000 Make it funny.

01:36:31.000 Don't take a chance that you guys are going to be funny.

01:36:34.000 It's just so funny because they seem like such naturally funny.

01:36:37.000 Yeah.

01:36:37.000 But it's hard when you have all these people on your back to...

01:36:41.000 Free yourself up to fail.

01:36:43.000 Well, the early days of any kind of a new talk show are so risky.

01:36:49.000 It's like, who the fuck knows where this is going to go?

01:36:53.000 Arsenio Hall!

01:36:55.000 Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

01:36:56.000 He was one of the only guys that figured out a way to break into that system, right?

01:37:02.000 Like George Lopez did for a little while, but that late night system, it's a fucking hard thing to do.

01:37:08.000 It's a grind.

01:37:09.000 It's a weird show because everybody does a version of the same show that Jack Parr did in like 19-0.

01:37:18.000 And yet trying to do something completely different fails a lot of the time.

01:37:23.000 Yeah, but they all have a desk.

01:37:25.000 You sit at the desk, the desk sits next to them at the desk, which is a fucking holy weird way to have a conversation.

01:37:32.000 Imagine if you came over a guy's house, and he's above you in a desk that's an elevated desk.

01:37:38.000 Like, they're elevated.

01:37:39.000 Everyone's elevated.

01:37:40.000 But you know what's weird is, like, when James Corden does it, like, just, they're all on chairs, and there's no desk, and it's just, like, leaning into each other.

01:37:47.000 That's weirder.

01:37:47.000 Weirder.

01:37:48.000 Yeah, I don't want to see your legs.

01:37:50.000 Weird.

01:37:51.000 I watched it once and there was like three people on the couch together.

01:37:53.000 I'm like, what the fuck is happening here?

01:37:55.000 Yeah, what's going on?

01:37:56.000 It's too strange.

01:37:57.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:37:59.000 Well, I'm so spoiled by podcasts.

01:38:03.000 I'm so spoiled by no time constraints.

01:38:06.000 I'm so spoiled by all of it.

01:38:09.000 But, you know, it's kind of...

01:38:12.000 Yeah, when Bernie was on last week, I listened to your Bernie episode.

01:38:17.000 It was so good.

01:38:19.000 Because I never got to hear him just breathe.

01:38:22.000 Yes.

01:38:23.000 To just hear him talk.

01:38:25.000 Yes, he's super reasonable.

01:38:27.000 Anybody.

01:38:28.000 Just to hear them just go for a length of time.

01:38:31.000 You really get to know who they are when you're...

01:38:35.000 Trying, even in these late night shows, it's just boom, boom, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, soundbite, soundbite, soundbite.

01:38:41.000 You don't really get a sense of who these people are.

01:38:44.000 It's impossible.

01:38:44.000 I'm sure some people listening right now wish this was, Tom, it's a soundbite.

01:38:48.000 But no, don't you think, like, if you were on a show right now, like one of those panel shows where there's five people on, they come to you real quick, and you have like 15 seconds of talk, and you're worried that someone else is going to jump in and try to stomp on your punchline.

01:39:00.000 Right.

01:39:00.000 Which does happen.

01:39:01.000 If you're trying to do a show, and it was like, just us and our friends, right?

01:39:04.000 It was like, Chris DeLee was in here, and Brian Callen was in here, and we were all talking, like, man, you better get something out quick.

01:39:12.000 There's so many other people in the room.

01:39:14.000 This is what those debates are like.

01:39:15.000 It's like a condensed version of a conversation.

01:39:18.000 And you also have an actual physical time limit.

01:39:21.000 Like, you have X amount of seconds to respond, and then they start talking over you.

01:39:26.000 I know.

01:39:27.000 Your time is up.

01:39:27.000 Excuse me, Mr. Senator.

01:39:28.000 Mr. Senator.

01:39:29.000 Your time's up, Mr. Senator.

01:39:30.000 Yeah.

01:39:31.000 Like, okay!

01:39:31.000 I know.

01:39:32.000 Let him finish the sentence, you fuck!

01:39:34.000 It's crazy.

01:39:35.000 It's no way to really understand people.

01:39:37.000 And you have to be a forceful moderator.

01:39:39.000 But then when you are a forceful moderator, you're like injecting yourself into this conversation.

01:39:43.000 Yeah.

01:39:44.000 America doesn't want...

01:39:45.000 That's a good way for people to hate you.

01:39:46.000 You want people to hate you?

01:39:47.000 Yeah.

01:39:48.000 To be a shitty moderator.

01:39:50.000 Be a moderator on a presidential debate.

01:39:53.000 Everybody's gonna fucking hate you.

01:39:54.000 Everyone's gonna hate your guts.

01:39:55.000 Yeah, it's...

01:39:56.000 It's one of those weird, ancient holdovers from the past that is wholly and completely unnecessary and, in fact, probably kind of fucking dangerous.

01:40:07.000 Because you don't ever get a chance to see what a person's actually like.

01:40:11.000 You just get a chance to see their show.

01:40:13.000 Like the Donald Trump show.

01:40:15.000 Like Donald Trump had a show.

01:40:16.000 I'd lock you up.

01:40:17.000 You'd be in jail.

01:40:18.000 Like that kind of shit.

01:40:19.000 Right.

01:40:19.000 Everybody cheers and roars.

01:40:20.000 That's a show.

01:40:21.000 It's who's best at television.

01:40:23.000 Right, right, right.

01:40:23.000 And he's a fucking television guy.

01:40:25.000 He's a television star.

01:40:26.000 He's way better than those clowns.

01:40:27.000 A star.

01:40:28.000 Yes.

01:40:28.000 And he's afraid of insulting people.

01:40:30.000 When he came through and was debating against the Republicans in that run-up, in all those debates, He got up there like a comedian.

01:40:40.000 He was like, I'm going to talk about...

01:40:42.000 I'm in the moment.

01:40:43.000 I'm going to call everything out.

01:40:44.000 I'm not going to play this BS of all your little etiquette that you've got going on.

01:40:48.000 And he was a star.

01:40:50.000 He was a star.

01:40:51.000 He knows how to work it.

01:40:52.000 He still does.

01:40:54.000 This Biden thing that he's doing now.

01:40:56.000 He's constantly making fun of Biden, calling him Sleepy Joe Biden.

01:41:00.000 And he shows some misquote that Biden said.

01:41:04.000 Something about We're here for the facts, not the truth or something like that.

01:41:08.000 What is the crazy Biden quote that he had that everybody's been making fun of?

01:41:12.000 Listen, I say stupid shit all the time.

01:41:15.000 Everybody does who talks a lot.

01:41:16.000 If you talk a lot, you're going to jumble your words together.

01:41:19.000 I do it all the time.

01:41:21.000 Of course.

01:41:22.000 But if you're running for president, man, they find something like that, a jumble here, a jumble there, you better be ready to defend yourself.

01:41:27.000 That's right.

01:41:28.000 But that's the thing.

01:41:30.000 Someone has to act the way he acts.

01:41:32.000 Exactly.

01:41:32.000 You've got to be in the moment.

01:41:33.000 You've got to call things out.

01:41:34.000 You've got to be honest.

01:41:35.000 You've got to be a comic.

01:41:36.000 You've got to be a comic.

01:41:37.000 Trump, when he was running, he reminded me of the comics from Long Island.

01:41:42.000 Big, loud, insult comics.

01:41:45.000 Biden tells Iowans we choose truth over facts.

01:41:48.000 What?

01:41:49.000 What does that mean?

01:41:50.000 That seems like he might have wrote that.

01:41:53.000 Truth over fact.

01:41:54.000 I'd like to see what he said, how he said it.

01:41:56.000 How did he say it?

01:41:57.000 Yeah.

01:41:57.000 Because he might have been like, we choose truth over facts, and that's not good.

01:42:03.000 When we're together.

01:42:05.000 And ladies and gentlemen, it's time to get up.

01:42:07.000 Everybody knows who Donald Trump is.

01:42:09.000 Even his supporters know who he is.

01:42:11.000 We gotta let them know who we are.

01:42:13.000 We choose unity over division.

01:42:15.000 We choose science over fiction.

01:42:17.000 We choose truth over facts.

01:42:20.000 And so folks, if you're interested, join me.

01:42:25.000 Look, we all mess up a line here and there.

01:42:28.000 He seems like a remote control with a shitty battery.

01:42:30.000 You know that one?

01:42:32.000 Where you're like, it's kinda getting the volume, but not quite.

01:42:35.000 It kinda changes the channels.

01:42:37.000 You gotta move it around.

01:42:39.000 Bro, he's got so little juice left in the tank.

01:42:41.000 I know.

01:42:41.000 Donald Trump will chew him up.

01:42:42.000 Unless he gets a good doctor.

01:42:44.000 You need a good doctor.

01:42:45.000 He needs to get on steroids immediately.

01:42:47.000 Don't you think Trump takes something?

01:42:48.000 For sure.

01:42:49.000 Yeah, you can't be that age and not be able...

01:42:51.000 You gotta take something.

01:42:52.000 Bro, he's got billions of dollars.

01:42:53.000 Why wouldn't he take something?

01:42:54.000 Of course.

01:42:56.000 Supposedly, he has been on some form of amphetamine prescribed by a doctor in the past.

01:43:02.000 That gives him the sniffles?

01:43:04.000 That's why he's sniffling all the time?

01:43:05.000 But he also could have a cold.

01:43:07.000 I mean, he's fucking 80 years old.

01:43:08.000 He's the President of the United States.

01:43:10.000 I'm sure it's a fairly stressful job.

01:43:12.000 Yeah.

01:43:12.000 But he...

01:43:14.000 There was a journalist that was claiming that he had some sort of diet pill prescription.

01:43:19.000 He even brought up the very pharmacy where he got it fulfilled.

01:43:22.000 Who knows if it's true or not?

01:43:24.000 But so many people are on Adderall today.

01:43:27.000 So, so, so...

01:43:28.000 Have you ever taken it?

01:43:29.000 No, I have not.

01:43:29.000 I'm scared.

01:43:30.000 Jamie gave me some.

01:43:30.000 I threw it away.

01:43:31.000 He allegedly gave me some.

01:43:33.000 Allegedly.

01:43:34.000 Allegedly because he's not a criminal and I don't have a prescription.

01:43:37.000 I imagine it's probably pretty fun to write with.

01:43:43.000 I would imagine it would kill a lot of your creativity.

01:43:46.000 You think so?

01:43:46.000 Yeah, because I think it would be great to organize with.

01:43:48.000 That's how the late, great Robert Schimmel, that's how he described it to me.

01:43:53.000 I loved him.

01:43:54.000 I loved him, too.

01:43:56.000 He gave me my first Starbucks ever.

01:43:59.000 Did he really?

01:44:00.000 Wow.

01:44:01.000 You guys were on the road together or something?

01:44:02.000 Yeah, we were in New Jersey.

01:44:04.000 I'm like, no, you know, I stopped drinking milk and stuff.

01:44:07.000 He's like, come on, come on, come on.

01:44:09.000 He was always a sweet guy.

01:44:10.000 I miss him really bad.

01:44:12.000 Oh, he was so funny.

01:44:13.000 He was a great person, too.

01:44:14.000 Oh, so sweet.

01:44:16.000 Yeah, super nice.

01:44:17.000 Fucking hilarious.

01:44:18.000 So funny.

01:44:19.000 Fucking hilarious.

01:44:19.000 You ever hear his Siegfried and Roy joke?

01:44:21.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:44:24.000 This shit ends tonight.

01:44:28.000 He had so many good things.

01:44:30.000 Oh my god.

01:44:31.000 But he had a heart condition, right?

01:44:32.000 You know that?

01:44:33.000 Yeah.

01:44:33.000 And he accidentally took an Adderall once.

01:44:36.000 Uh-huh.

01:44:36.000 He thought he was taking some other medication.

01:44:40.000 I forget what.

01:44:40.000 He accidentally took the Adderall.

01:44:42.000 And he goes, I fucking freaked out.

01:44:44.000 I called my doctor.

01:44:44.000 I'm like, hey, tell me what the milligrams is, how much did you take?

01:44:47.000 He said, I took one of these.

01:44:48.000 He said, don't worry about it.

01:44:49.000 But you're going to be wide awake for the next 12 hours.

01:44:53.000 Wow.

01:44:53.000 It's not going to kill you.

01:44:54.000 It's not that bad.

01:44:55.000 You're not dying.

01:44:56.000 And he goes, I went over all my notes.

01:44:58.000 He goes, I start organizing things.

01:45:01.000 That's what I've heard from people when they take Adderall.

01:45:03.000 It makes them want to organize shit.

01:45:04.000 Oh.

01:45:05.000 Which is weird.

01:45:06.000 But not create, necessarily.

01:45:07.000 If you give me speed, I'm going to want to go run up a hill or something.

01:45:11.000 I'm going to want to do something stupid.

01:45:12.000 You have to sit at your desk.

01:45:13.000 I'm not going to want to organize.

01:45:14.000 I'm going to be like, yeah!

01:45:15.000 Yeah, your heart would explode.

01:45:17.000 I just imagine if I'm on some kind of speed, I'm going to want to do something stupid.

01:45:22.000 Yeah.

01:45:23.000 You know, I always have...

01:45:25.000 Yeah, you want to be physical.

01:45:26.000 Yeah, if I drink coffee, if I drink too much coffee, I just start jumping up and down.

01:45:30.000 I'm like, fuck you!

01:45:31.000 I've been drinking a ketone aid with coffee, with caffeine in it.

01:45:36.000 I forget who makes it.

01:45:37.000 It's like this little drink.

01:45:38.000 Uh-huh.

01:45:39.000 One of the ketone companies that sends me shit.

01:45:42.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:42.000 There's a bunch of keto companies.

01:45:44.000 They'll send you stuff.

01:45:45.000 They'll send you stuff.

01:45:46.000 Hey, try our stuff.

01:45:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:47.000 I apologize to the company, but they make this shit that has caffeine and ketones together.

01:45:53.000 It's fucking wonderful before exercise.

01:45:56.000 You're grinding your teeth just talking about it.

01:45:59.000 It makes you want to go crazy.

01:46:01.000 You want to do a real good weightlifting exercise.

01:46:05.000 Right.

01:46:05.000 It's good.

01:46:06.000 It's good, this stuff.

01:46:08.000 Caffeine's good to work out on.

01:46:09.000 Fuck yeah.

01:46:10.000 It's great for lifting.

01:46:12.000 It opens you up.

01:46:13.000 Yeah.

01:46:13.000 Opens up the vessels.

01:46:14.000 Yeah.

01:46:15.000 It makes you shit your brains out, though.

01:46:17.000 You've got to be careful.

01:46:17.000 Well, that's the fun part.

01:46:18.000 You have to time it correctly.

01:46:19.000 Right?

01:46:19.000 There's nothing worse than when I go for a run and a half mile in, you're like, uh-oh.

01:46:24.000 Called Ketonaid?

01:46:25.000 Probably.

01:46:25.000 Yeah.

01:46:26.000 Ben Greenfield, I think.

01:46:27.000 Oh, is that it?

01:46:28.000 Yeah.

01:46:28.000 Is it his company?

01:46:30.000 Look, I mean.

01:46:31.000 He's probably just involved with him.

01:46:32.000 I looked it up on Amazon.

01:46:34.000 No, that's not the same stuff.

01:46:36.000 You're there.

01:46:36.000 No, it looks different.

01:46:37.000 Okay.

01:46:38.000 But I think he's given me some of that, too.

01:46:40.000 I think it's very similar.

01:46:41.000 Does that have caffeine in it?

01:46:42.000 You still eat that way predominantly?

01:46:43.000 No.

01:46:44.000 No?

01:46:44.000 No.

01:46:45.000 Oh, really?

01:46:45.000 No, it's too rigid, and I wasn't enjoying it as much, but I do eat a very low-carb, high-protein, high-fat diet.

01:46:53.000 That's your balance.

01:46:54.000 Yeah, but I fuck off.

01:46:55.000 I'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I want one.

01:46:57.000 We're going to have so much fun at Musso and Frank's.

01:46:58.000 Woo!

01:46:59.000 I'm enjoying it.

01:47:00.000 But I will eat, like, cream of corn, stuff like that.

01:47:03.000 Oh, yeah?

01:47:04.000 But it's like, for me, I try to think of it as an 80-20 thing.

01:47:07.000 I eat 80% super healthy, and 20% I allow myself questionable choices.

01:47:12.000 That's good.

01:47:13.000 Yeah.

01:47:13.000 Not, like, sugar.

01:47:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:47:15.000 Not processed.

01:47:17.000 Yeah, but not like 20% dessert.

01:47:19.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:19.000 Right, right.

01:47:19.000 That's not 20% of my diet.

01:47:21.000 It's not ice cream or candy or something like that.

01:47:22.000 No.

01:47:23.000 I might have spaghetti with clams.

01:47:26.000 Right, right.

01:47:26.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:27.000 Bread.

01:47:27.000 Yeah, which is not the good food.

01:47:30.000 Right.

01:47:31.000 Vegetables, meat.

01:47:32.000 That's what I mostly eat.

01:47:33.000 Vegetables, meat.

01:47:33.000 No fruit?

01:47:34.000 Yeah, fruit, sure.

01:47:35.000 In the mornings?

01:47:36.000 Mornings.

01:47:36.000 Yeah.

01:47:37.000 Usually before a first workout.

01:47:38.000 I like fruit.

01:47:39.000 It hydrates you.

01:47:40.000 Yeah.

01:47:41.000 It's easy, too.

01:47:42.000 It's easy on your body, and you can work out on fruit with no problems at all.

01:47:45.000 Right, right.

01:47:45.000 I could run hills with a couple peaches in me.

01:47:50.000 Right.

01:47:50.000 It's not going to make me sick.

01:47:51.000 How great are peaches right now?

01:47:53.000 I love peaches.

01:47:53.000 Right now.

01:47:54.000 I love peaches.

01:47:54.000 Peaches are...

01:47:55.000 Ugh.

01:47:56.000 How did Georgia get so connected with peaches?

01:47:58.000 Think about that shit.

01:47:59.000 Right?

01:47:59.000 If you think about peaches, you think about Georgia.

01:48:01.000 There's not a goddamn...

01:48:02.000 Maybe Hawaii and coconuts, but no.

01:48:05.000 Yeah.

01:48:05.000 Right?

01:48:05.000 It's Georgia and peaches.

01:48:06.000 Georgia and peanuts.

01:48:08.000 Oh, that's Jimmy Carter, right?

01:48:09.000 Yeah.

01:48:10.000 But what other...

01:48:10.000 Oh, Florida oranges, I guess.

01:48:12.000 Florida oranges.

01:48:14.000 But I think Georgia peaches...

01:48:15.000 Wisconsin cheese.

01:48:16.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:48:17.000 Yeah.

01:48:17.000 Yeah, but that's like dairy.

01:48:18.000 Yeah.

01:48:19.000 That's a process.

01:48:20.000 Right.

01:48:20.000 That's not food you're making.

01:48:21.000 But a fruit that grows in...

01:48:23.000 Jersey tomatoes.

01:48:25.000 Yeah, that's like if you were playing Family Feud, that'd be like...

01:48:29.000 You said Jersey tomatoes!

01:48:31.000 Let me see tomatoes!

01:48:33.000 Survey says...

01:48:35.000 Survey says...

01:48:39.000 I'm still doing the voice from the Hogan's Heroes guy as Family Feud.

01:48:43.000 I don't know if you just noticed that.

01:48:44.000 The Dawson?

01:48:45.000 Richard Dawson?

01:48:46.000 He's the original.

01:48:48.000 I stick with him.

01:48:50.000 You don't go Steve Harvey?

01:48:51.000 Nope.

01:48:52.000 Well, there was a guy in between him and Steve Harvey.

01:48:53.000 A guy who committed suicide.

01:48:55.000 No, there was a guy who killed himself.

01:48:56.000 Oh, yeah, that's right.

01:48:57.000 Yes.

01:48:58.000 Remember that guy?

01:48:59.000 Yes.

01:48:59.000 Yeah.

01:49:01.000 Dead on the feud.

01:49:03.000 Yeah, what did he do?

01:49:04.000 Did he die while he was hosting it, or did he quit and then kill himself?

01:49:06.000 I don't remember.

01:49:08.000 He hung himself though right?

01:49:10.000 Yeah I think so.

01:49:12.000 He was the host of Family Feud right?

01:49:14.000 Yeah.

01:49:15.000 Yeah, but I think he had...

01:49:16.000 Was he the second host?

01:49:17.000 I think it was over.

01:49:18.000 Ray Combs?

01:49:20.000 Ray Combs, that's right.

01:49:21.000 Ray Combs.

01:49:21.000 He was the second host, correct?

01:49:23.000 Probably couldn't live up to the shadow of Richard Dawkins.

01:49:26.000 Yeah.

01:49:26.000 Yeah, that's the guy.

01:49:27.000 Man.

01:49:29.000 He looks sappy.

01:49:30.000 Tell me that couldn't be a great movie, right?

01:49:32.000 There's something about that gig.

01:49:34.000 That smile.

01:49:35.000 Go back to that first picture with his hands up in the air.

01:49:37.000 I could see...

01:49:39.000 I could play that role.

01:49:40.000 I could see you playing that role.

01:49:42.000 I was going to go with Steve Carell, but yes.

01:49:46.000 He's not available.

01:49:47.000 I'm trying to make some money here.

01:49:52.000 What if you had a crazy movie about a guy?

01:49:56.000 Do you remember that movie they did about Hogan's Heroes guy?

01:49:59.000 About the lead of Hogan's Heroes?

01:50:02.000 No.

01:50:02.000 The guy who was with Richard Dawkins on Hogan's Heroes.

01:50:07.000 One of the guys who was with it...

01:50:09.000 What the fuck was his name?

01:50:10.000 There was a movie called...

01:50:11.000 Not the Gong Show one.

01:50:13.000 The movie's called Autofocus.

01:50:15.000 Autofocus, right.

01:50:15.000 Willem Dafoe.

01:50:16.000 Yes, Willem Dafoe was one guy, but then there was another guy who played the Hogan's Heroes guy.

01:50:21.000 What the fuck's his name?

01:50:22.000 Bob...

01:50:26.000 Oh, yes.

01:50:27.000 Bob Crane.

01:50:28.000 Bob Crane.

01:50:30.000 Thank you.

01:50:30.000 Bob Crane.

01:50:31.000 Wasn't that Greg Kinnear?

01:50:32.000 Yes.

01:50:32.000 Greg Kinnear was excellent.

01:50:36.000 Yeah.

01:50:37.000 He had a real porn habit, right?

01:50:39.000 He would make porn, and he would make it with Willem Dafoe.

01:50:42.000 Apparently, they would be filming girls, and then they think the Willem Dafoe character killed him.

01:50:48.000 But I don't think they ever solved the crime.

01:50:50.000 Ah, really?

01:50:51.000 I think it was one of those murders where they never totally solved the crime.

01:50:53.000 Is that true?

01:50:54.000 I'm mashing two movies up.

01:50:56.000 Because Greg Kinnear also played Chuck Barris from The Gong Show, who was in the CIA. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:05.000 That was Confessions of a Dangerous Mind?

01:51:08.000 Was that it?

01:51:09.000 Something like that.

01:51:10.000 I feel like that wasn't him, though.

01:51:11.000 Wasn't that him?

01:51:12.000 Who the fuck remembers anything anymore?

01:51:14.000 I have too much data in my stupid head.

01:51:17.000 It was Sam Rockwell.

01:51:19.000 Sam Rockwell.

01:51:20.000 That wasn't Kinnear.

01:51:22.000 Right, right, right.

01:51:22.000 You know what's an amazing Sam Rockwell movie?

01:51:24.000 The Moon.

01:51:25.000 The Moon.

01:51:26.000 Oh my god.

01:51:27.000 He's the whole movie.

01:51:28.000 So good.

01:51:29.000 I'm telling you folks, this is all I'm going to tell you, but all I'm going to tell you is it's only Sam Rockwell for a whole hour and a half and it's fucking amazing.

01:51:37.000 I saw that in the theater in New York.

01:51:39.000 So good.

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:40.000 Is there even another actor?

01:51:41.000 Is there one other actor in the movie?

01:51:42.000 Maybe?

01:51:43.000 I think you're right.

01:51:44.000 I think like halfway through or something someone shows up.

01:51:46.000 I don't want to sell it anymore.

01:51:47.000 It's good.

01:51:48.000 It's fucking great.

01:51:49.000 It's a fucking great movie.

01:51:51.000 He's such a good actor.

01:51:52.000 Did you watch Fosse Verdon?

01:51:54.000 He played Bob Fosse.

01:51:56.000 It was on FX. No, it was a TV show?

01:51:59.000 Yeah, about Bob Fosse, you know, the choreographer, and his wife.

01:52:04.000 I like how you did that.

01:52:05.000 Verdon.

01:52:06.000 It was like Chicago.

01:52:08.000 You did a version of Jazz Hands.

01:52:10.000 Yeah.

01:52:12.000 It's really good.

01:52:13.000 Yeah, he's really good in it.

01:52:15.000 He's a great actor, man.

01:52:16.000 Yeah, he's really good.

01:52:17.000 He was dating Leslie Bibb when Leslie Bibb, I did a movie with Kevin James, and Leslie Bibb was playing Kevin James' girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend, and we were competing for her love, and I got to meet that Sam Rockwell guy.

01:52:31.000 What was the movie?

01:52:32.000 It was called Zookeeper.

01:52:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:52:34.000 It's a cute kids movie.

01:52:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:52:36.000 It's adorable.

01:52:38.000 I love everything Kevin James does.

01:52:40.000 He just makes me laugh.

01:52:41.000 He's a great guy, too.

01:52:42.000 Yeah.

01:52:43.000 Mall cops?

01:52:44.000 Come on.

01:52:45.000 Are there modern, pratfall-type, super-physical comedians in movies today?

01:52:52.000 No.

01:52:53.000 He might be the last.

01:52:56.000 Yeah.

01:52:56.000 He was very athletic.

01:52:58.000 He was very light on his feet.

01:53:00.000 Oh, he was a martial artist.

01:53:01.000 Is he?

01:53:01.000 He's very talented.

01:53:02.000 Oh, really?

01:53:03.000 Yeah.

01:53:03.000 He's very good.

01:53:04.000 I heard he was really good at basketball.

01:53:06.000 Really?

01:53:06.000 Yeah.

01:53:06.000 I believe that.

01:53:07.000 I mean, he eats a lot, for sure.

01:53:09.000 He would not be denying that, but his martial arts technique is excellent.

01:53:14.000 Really?

01:53:14.000 Yeah, he's got serious power.

01:53:16.000 He's got really good punches, really good kicks.

01:53:18.000 Wow.

01:53:18.000 Yeah, he had a bunch of different styles of martial arts that he trained when he was coming up.

01:53:26.000 Oh, interesting.

01:53:26.000 Some of it, I think, some of it was kung fu, some of it was karate.

01:53:31.000 But he knows what he's doing.

01:53:33.000 He knows what he's doing.

01:53:34.000 He played a mixed martial artist in that movie Here Comes the Boom.

01:53:38.000 Right, right.

01:53:39.000 Yeah, he played a guy who was like a high school coach that was trying to raise money for his school, so he had some UFC fights.

01:53:46.000 He's physically just so funny.

01:53:48.000 He is funny.

01:53:48.000 I remember the comic strip early on, watching him, I think he was famous already, But he had a bit about picking out greeting cards, being in front of the greeting card aisle.

01:54:00.000 Yes, yes.

01:54:01.000 Right?

01:54:01.000 And he would pick them all out and just physically, without a word at times, just looking at the cards.

01:54:07.000 So damn funny.

01:54:09.000 He had one of my favorite bits ever about...

01:54:11.000 It was back in the day when you had automatic locks on a car, and when someone would try to open the door while you were hitting unlock, they would cancel each other out.

01:54:20.000 So he had this whole super frustrated bit about his girlfriend reaching for the door, and it keeps canceling out, and he's getting more and more frustrated.

01:54:31.000 No, I mean, so many moments of that in King of Queens.

01:54:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:35.000 All of his, like, physical, just frustration.

01:54:39.000 Yeah, but, like, physical guys.

01:54:41.000 Like, if you really stop and think about it, there's so few.

01:54:44.000 Like, Chris Farley, of course, was a giant physical talent.

01:54:46.000 Yeah, he was very Ralph Cramden in that way.

01:54:49.000 Jackie Gleason, a big guy, but very graceful.

01:54:53.000 Yeah, but, like, um...

01:54:55.000 He was like an accelerated version, right?

01:55:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:55:01.000 Of like John Belushi.

01:55:02.000 Like a larger, bigger, more spastic, more crazy.

01:55:07.000 Yeah.

01:55:08.000 I mean, he would fucking get sweaty and scream.

01:55:11.000 Right.

01:55:11.000 Whereas Belushi was like really physical too, but it didn't get to that thing.

01:55:15.000 No, his was raw.

01:55:17.000 Like Farley is more in that Kevin James kind of lightness.

01:55:21.000 Yeah.

01:55:21.000 You know what Belushi had?

01:55:22.000 Belushi had like this weird, hilarious feeling of danger.

01:55:26.000 Yeah.

01:55:27.000 Like he was dangerous, but it was funny.

01:55:28.000 That's what I was going to say.

01:55:29.000 Like in Animal House.

01:55:29.000 Right.

01:55:30.000 He was dangerous.

01:55:31.000 It was reckless.

01:55:32.000 It was rock and roll.

01:55:32.000 It was like off kilter.

01:55:34.000 Yes.

01:55:34.000 Like when he smashed that guy's guitar when he was playing songs.

01:55:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:55:37.000 Right.

01:55:38.000 There's danger from him.

01:55:40.000 Yeah.

01:55:41.000 Blues Brothers?

01:55:41.000 Yes.

01:55:42.000 Yes.

01:55:42.000 It was dangerous.

01:55:43.000 Right.

01:55:44.000 Yeah.

01:55:44.000 That off-kilter kind of thing.

01:55:46.000 Mm-hmm.

01:55:46.000 No.

01:55:47.000 Kevin James, Farley, they had a sweetness.

01:55:51.000 Yes.

01:55:51.000 It wasn't danger.

01:55:52.000 It was energetic, but always you weren't in danger.

01:55:56.000 But here's a question.

01:55:57.000 I'm sure someone could do that Belushi thing without drugs.

01:56:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:56:05.000 I'm sure.

01:56:06.000 Absolutely.

01:56:06.000 But no one has.

01:56:09.000 No.

01:56:14.000 Yeah, I know.

01:56:15.000 Why am I so sure that someone can do it without drugs?

01:56:18.000 Yeah.

01:56:19.000 Is that just being cocky?

01:56:21.000 I don't know.

01:56:21.000 It's like, hey man, you don't need vitamins.

01:56:23.000 Just eat bread and lift weights.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:26.000 No, you need vitamins.

01:56:27.000 But that was fueled by, yeah, that was cocaine, right?

01:56:30.000 Cocaine, probably.

01:56:31.000 Yeah.

01:56:31.000 There's a lot of it.

01:56:32.000 But I think he was doing speedballs, right?

01:56:34.000 So he was doing cocaine and heroin.

01:56:36.000 Oh, man.

01:56:36.000 Isn't that how he died?

01:56:37.000 Yeah.

01:56:38.000 That's how River Phoenix died, too.

01:56:39.000 The Chateau Marmont?

01:56:41.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:56:43.000 I don't know.

01:56:44.000 That's one of the things about great wild people.

01:56:48.000 Who's really wild now?

01:56:51.000 Like that?

01:56:52.000 Nobody really, right?

01:56:54.000 Nobody that we want to throw under the bus.

01:56:59.000 Yeah.

01:57:00.000 Like cocaine wildness?

01:57:03.000 Or just like that reckless danger.

01:57:06.000 I guess what's his name has a little of it in his acting.

01:57:10.000 Who?

01:57:12.000 Tom...

01:57:12.000 Tom Hardy?

01:57:14.000 Yeah.

01:57:14.000 Yeah, he's pretty reckless.

01:57:15.000 He's got that kind of thing.

01:57:16.000 I mean, he did two movies...

01:57:19.000 He did the Dunkirk and Batman with his face completely covered.

01:57:26.000 And he still was able to emote danger.

01:57:30.000 And he was just able to express so much with half of his face.

01:57:35.000 Yeah.

01:57:36.000 That guy's pretty serious.

01:57:37.000 He's a bad motherfucker.

01:57:39.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:57:40.000 He was even good in that movie Warrior.

01:57:42.000 You ever see that movie Warrior?

01:57:43.000 Is that when he played two characters?

01:57:44.000 No.

01:57:45.000 He played a fighter.

01:57:46.000 Him and his brother.

01:57:48.000 It was an MMA movie.

01:57:50.000 They wound up fighting.

01:57:51.000 I didn't see that one.

01:57:53.000 Nick Nolte's in it.

01:57:55.000 Nick Nolte has this incredible...

01:57:56.000 Incredible performance.

01:57:58.000 Nick Nolte completely steals the movie as this guy's alcoholic father, who was a formerly trained, both of them.

01:58:06.000 That's a wild man.

01:58:08.000 He's so good.

01:58:09.000 You forget how goddamn good Nick Nolte is.

01:58:11.000 Like, whether or not it's drug-fueled or not, there is something to actors who have some manic part to their personality that they can harness, but still...

01:58:25.000 It's not bullshit when they film it.

01:58:29.000 You know what I mean?

01:58:30.000 Who's that guy on the left?

01:58:30.000 It doesn't come off as fake.

01:58:33.000 Nolte.

01:58:33.000 Venom.

01:58:34.000 Mickey Rourke.

01:58:37.000 Oh, it's him from different movies.

01:58:38.000 Are we saying?

01:58:39.000 Yeah, Venom, Warrior, and then Bronson, I think.

01:58:41.000 Yeah, Bronson was like his first big break.

01:58:43.000 Have you seen the pictures of him playing Capone?

01:58:45.000 But the Warrior one, look at the one in the middle.

01:58:47.000 That's what's crazy.

01:58:48.000 Al Capone?

01:58:48.000 Dude, he got fucking jacked.

01:58:51.000 Yeah.

01:58:51.000 When you see him in the movie, I mean, he looks like a professional fighter.

01:58:55.000 Yeah.

01:58:55.000 I mean, there's no ifs, ands, or buts.

01:58:58.000 Nope.

01:58:59.000 I mean, he really does.

01:58:59.000 He looks like a guy who could fight in the UFC, physically.

01:59:02.000 He got his body into that form.

01:59:04.000 That's hard to do, man.

01:59:06.000 Didn't Hanks get diabetes from going up and down so much?

01:59:10.000 Who?

01:59:11.000 Tommy Hanks?

01:59:12.000 Tom Hanks went up and down in weight?

01:59:14.000 Yeah.

01:59:14.000 How dare you compare Tom Hanks to Tom Hardy, first of all?

01:59:18.000 You fuck.

01:59:19.000 Look at what Tom Hardy did to his fucking body.

01:59:21.000 Tom Hanks never done that.

01:59:22.000 No, he didn't.

01:59:23.000 There's not a fucking chance in this world.

01:59:24.000 No, he did the other thing.

01:59:25.000 He got real big and fat.

01:59:26.000 Do you know who else did that?

01:59:27.000 But like Castaway, he was really scrawny and then he was like a regular dude.

01:59:32.000 Maybe he fucked his body over starving himself to death.

01:59:34.000 Jamie, is there a picture of Hardy as Al Capone that's coming out?

01:59:38.000 Is that not it?

01:59:39.000 Yeah, it's not a great shot.

01:59:41.000 Yeah.

01:59:42.000 Do you know who else did that for a movie who got super jacked?

01:59:46.000 In kind of a crazy way?

01:59:48.000 Jake Gyllenhaal.

01:59:49.000 Oh, wow.

01:59:50.000 Look at that.

01:59:50.000 Look at fucking Robert...

01:59:52.000 Or Al Pacino, rather.

01:59:54.000 Dick Tracy villain.

01:59:56.000 Yeah.

01:59:57.000 Wow.

01:59:59.000 Oh, they're saying he looks like a Dick Tracy villain.

02:00:02.000 They're making fun of him.

02:00:03.000 That's Al Pacino.

02:00:05.000 Al Capone.

02:00:06.000 That's a bad shot.

02:00:08.000 That's Al Pacino playing a Dick Tracy character, right?

02:00:11.000 Yeah.

02:00:11.000 He's playing Al Capone and Dick Tracy.

02:00:12.000 Oh, that's what it was.

02:00:14.000 Same character.

02:00:14.000 Different movies.

02:00:16.000 Google Jake Lillenhall.

02:00:19.000 It's pronounced...

02:00:20.000 Google that guy from the movie Southpaw.

02:00:24.000 The movie Southpaw, he was...

02:00:26.000 Fucking jacked, bro.

02:00:28.000 He played a boxer.

02:00:29.000 I mean, fucking shredded.

02:00:32.000 Dude, look at that.

02:00:33.000 I mean, he looks like Andre Ward in his prime.

02:00:37.000 I mean, that's how shredded he is.

02:00:40.000 Oh my god.

02:00:40.000 He looks like Roy Jones Jr. almost.

02:00:42.000 He doesn't look like him at all.

02:00:43.000 Bro, he is so shredded.

02:00:45.000 But how much of that is 3D animation?

02:00:48.000 Oh yeah?

02:00:49.000 Yes.

02:00:49.000 You just take steroids and...

02:00:51.000 Fuck yeah.

02:00:51.000 I mean, maybe they 3D animated him.

02:00:53.000 It's possible.

02:00:54.000 But he looks so good.

02:00:56.000 Wow.

02:00:56.000 I mean, well, maybe we should Google that.

02:00:58.000 Okay, why don't you go back to that picture?

02:01:01.000 Go back to the picture you just had?

02:01:03.000 How did Jake Lillenhall get so ripped?

02:01:06.000 Okay, the Manly Man blog.

02:01:07.000 Click on that shit.

02:01:09.000 Yeah, I think he probably took some Mexican supplements and worked out like a motherfucker.

02:01:13.000 But either way, there's no way you get that ripped without insane work.

02:01:21.000 Insane.

02:01:22.000 You're just doing it all the time.

02:01:24.000 Right.

02:01:24.000 All steroids are doing is helping you recover.

02:01:26.000 Makes you recover.

02:01:27.000 You'll develop more muscle quicker.

02:01:29.000 But you have to break down the muscle for the muscle to grow.

02:01:32.000 So you have to go through the workouts.

02:01:33.000 But doesn't it stimulate the growth of it?

02:01:35.000 Yes, but you can't be lazy and have that body.

02:01:37.000 It is fucking impossible.

02:01:39.000 It says, for five months long, he'd been working out twice a day.

02:01:42.000 Even on Sundays, his workout regime was about four to six hours a day.

02:01:46.000 He started training as a fighter, sparring with real opponents and taking in some real punches.

02:01:50.000 His boxing workout consisted of all the things that a boxer would do.

02:01:53.000 Shadow boxing, heavy bag, speedball, sparring, focus pads, double end rounds.

02:01:58.000 He says, I was sparring and really getting hit.

02:02:01.000 It helped me understand the sacrifice it takes to be a fighter.

02:02:03.000 You can't play a boxer and just look like a boxer.

02:02:07.000 You have to believe that you can exist in that world.

02:02:09.000 That's a good actor.

02:02:11.000 He's an amazing actor.

02:02:13.000 Dedicated.

02:02:14.000 He's always been an amazing actor.

02:02:15.000 No, he's really good.

02:02:16.000 He's great in everything.

02:02:16.000 I know.

02:02:17.000 There was something recently I just saw he was in.

02:02:20.000 I forget.

02:02:21.000 Brokeback Mountain.

02:02:23.000 No.

02:02:24.000 Stop playing games.

02:02:25.000 That's what you were watching.

02:02:26.000 Alright.

02:02:30.000 That's a rare person that can do that.

02:02:32.000 I don't care what he was taking.

02:02:34.000 If you're working out six hours a day, there is not a fucking drug in the world that gets you that discipline.

02:02:40.000 You have to do that.

02:02:41.000 You have to do that yourself.

02:02:43.000 You have to force yourself.

02:02:44.000 It's mostly willpower.

02:02:46.000 Well, I'm pals with Jason Bourne.

02:02:51.000 Jason Bourne's not a real person.

02:02:53.000 It's not?

02:02:55.000 I'm sorry, what?

02:02:56.000 Who do you think Jason Bourne is?

02:02:57.000 He's a character in a movie.

02:02:59.000 No.

02:03:00.000 He works for the government.

02:03:04.000 Wait.

02:03:05.000 How do you say I'm pals with a...

02:03:07.000 From Bourne Identity?

02:03:08.000 Yeah, why don't you say I'm pals with Superman?

02:03:10.000 Makes just as much sense.

02:03:11.000 Jason Bourne's not a real person.

02:03:13.000 Wait, what?

02:03:14.000 Who are you saying you're friends with?

02:03:17.000 Jason Bourne.

02:03:20.000 Um...

02:03:20.000 He's...

02:03:22.000 Matt Damon?

02:03:24.000 He had three movies.

02:03:27.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:28.000 Okay.

02:03:30.000 Matt Damon was at the Improv the other night.

02:03:32.000 He was?

02:03:32.000 Yeah.

02:03:33.000 I didn't get a chance to say hi if he hears this.

02:03:35.000 Hi, Matt Damon.

02:03:36.000 Yeah.

02:03:36.000 I love that guy.

02:03:37.000 I'm very impressed with him.

02:03:39.000 He's great.

02:03:39.000 He seems like a really interesting person, too.

02:03:41.000 He's a very, very wise person.

02:03:43.000 He is.

02:03:43.000 He's very smart.

02:03:44.000 But watching him for the last Bourne movie...

02:03:47.000 He knows how to fight.

02:03:49.000 Yeah.

02:03:49.000 He's got a great trainer.

02:03:51.000 Matt Bayamonte?

02:03:52.000 Yeah.

02:03:52.000 Oh, look at him.

02:03:53.000 You're holding your hands up while you're saying his name.

02:03:55.000 He must be legit.

02:03:56.000 Angelo Dundee.

02:03:57.000 Did he really?

02:03:58.000 Yeah, he's legit.

02:03:59.000 He's a great guy.

02:04:01.000 But watching the two of them train all the time, and it was like when he dials in, it's like that's their life.

02:04:06.000 Well, you can tell when you watch someone doing something in a movie whether or not they put the time in.

02:04:11.000 Right.

02:04:12.000 Like Keanu Reeves in John Wick.

02:04:14.000 Right.

02:04:14.000 That motherfucker put in the time.

02:04:16.000 I'm buying everything.

02:04:17.000 Hook, line, and sinker.

02:04:19.000 I'm buying him kicking people's asses.

02:04:20.000 I'm buying him shooting people.

02:04:22.000 He shoots guns like a guy who's been tactically trained, like a guy who's a real assassin.

02:04:26.000 I buy every fucking second of it.

02:04:28.000 Yeah.

02:04:28.000 Even though it's cartoonish and over the top and crazy.

02:04:30.000 Sure, sure.

02:04:31.000 But you can tell.

02:04:32.000 Yeah, when he grabs people, flips them on their head and breaks their arm and stomps their head and then shoots them when they're down, I'm in.

02:04:38.000 Yeah, yeah, he did it.

02:04:39.000 He did it.

02:04:40.000 Right.

02:04:40.000 It's legit.

02:04:42.000 That's why I do more comedic roles.

02:04:43.000 That's a good move, dude.

02:04:45.000 Way less pounding on the joints.

02:04:50.000 Like my friend Tate, Tate Fletcher, he just got a concussion from doing a scene in a movie where he was doing some stunt work.

02:04:59.000 Tate does a lot of acting, but he also does a lot of stunt work, too.

02:05:03.000 And he hit his head and hurt it real bad.

02:05:07.000 He's real light-sensitive right now, and he's taking CBD. Oh, man.

02:05:10.000 Yeah, and Tate had a career as a fighter as well.

02:05:14.000 So he fought in the UFC. He had quite a few professional fights.

02:05:21.000 And a lot of sparring in between the professional fights.

02:05:24.000 A lot of sparring rounds.

02:05:25.000 So he's kind of sensitive to getting hit in the head anyway.

02:05:28.000 He doesn't want to get hit in the head anymore.

02:05:29.000 For him to fall on the set.

02:05:31.000 Oof.

02:05:32.000 That world of a stuntman, like we were talking about Gene LaBelle and the Brad Pitt character, those are the toughest fucking people in Hollywood.

02:05:38.000 Oh man, come on.

02:05:40.000 Toughest animals.

02:05:41.000 It's a hard way to make a living, man.

02:05:42.000 You're always falling out of the back of trucks and wrecking motorcycles on purpose.

02:05:47.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:05:48.000 Fuck, man.

02:05:48.000 I wonder if the number of stuntmen has gone down since animation 3D stuff has started...

02:05:55.000 That's interesting.

02:05:56.000 ...has improved.

02:05:56.000 I bet there's a lot less of it.

02:05:58.000 I bet you're right.

02:05:59.000 Right.

02:05:59.000 But for some things, you need a stunt person.

02:06:01.000 Yeah.

02:06:01.000 You need someone also to tell you...

02:06:03.000 Those guys are so wild, though.

02:06:06.000 We had stunt guys that...

02:06:17.000 Right.

02:06:22.000 Right.

02:06:32.000 But they are willing to take so much more risk than a regular person.

02:06:36.000 Their idea of you getting hurt, they're not worried about getting hurt like a normal person.

02:06:41.000 Right, no.

02:06:42.000 That's like Alex Honnold, right?

02:06:44.000 The guy, he really doesn't have fear.

02:06:46.000 No, no, no, no.

02:06:47.000 He's, that's different.

02:06:48.000 Is it?

02:06:49.000 Yeah, yeah, that's different.

02:06:50.000 Because the stuntman, that would be if Alex Honnold was telling you, you can climb that wall.

02:06:55.000 Right.

02:06:56.000 Because he's doing it himself, and he knows he's really good at it.

02:06:59.000 The thing about the stunt guys is, the stunt guys, They're not trying to get anybody hurt, but they're not worried about getting hurt themselves.

02:07:07.000 Their idea of getting hurt is slightly different than a regular person's because they're just so fucking tough.

02:07:13.000 And they're used to doing it.

02:07:15.000 They're used to jumping off fucking horses and shit.

02:07:18.000 So we had this one event where they were making the contestants ride bulls.

02:07:24.000 And there's only two times in the history of that show where I was like, don't do this.

02:07:28.000 Don't do this.

02:07:29.000 And that was a big one.

02:07:31.000 And I was like, you guys are crazy.

02:07:32.000 These are bulls.

02:07:33.000 And this is really what he said to me, the stunt guy said.

02:07:36.000 He goes, oh, don't worry about it, boo.

02:07:37.000 These are stunt bulls.

02:07:39.000 I go, they're stunt bulls.

02:07:40.000 He goes, yeah, they're less aggressive.

02:07:42.000 I go, does that bull know he's a stunt bull?

02:07:44.000 I bet he thinks he's a bull.

02:07:45.000 I bet he thinks he's a bull, and I bet he's not going to like the fact that all these fucking people are riding him.

02:07:50.000 Because you're having like eight people ride him, or I don't know how many people, like six, six people ride him.

02:07:54.000 If I wasn't a stunt bull, I'd be so pissed right now.

02:07:57.000 Dude, that bull launched these people through the fucking air.

02:08:02.000 Launched them the way you would shake a tennis ball off your forehand.

02:08:06.000 If you had a tennis ball in your hand, you would just do it like that.

02:08:09.000 It would go flying.

02:08:09.000 That's what those people did with these...

02:08:11.000 That's what the bull did with these people.

02:08:13.000 Jeez.

02:08:14.000 Literally, if you took a ball and just underhanded it, people would fly!

02:08:17.000 Did anyone get really hurt in the taping of that show at all?

02:08:20.000 No.

02:08:20.000 Not once?

02:08:21.000 That is, come on, seven.

02:08:23.000 That's what that was.

02:08:24.000 Right.

02:08:24.000 That was a lot of that.

02:08:25.000 For sure with the bolt one.

02:08:27.000 Because the bolt one, the bolt kicked in the air and was just barely missing people's heads.

02:08:32.000 Jesus.

02:08:32.000 Dude, I was watching.

02:08:33.000 I was like, this is fucking crazy.

02:08:35.000 I told everyone to not do it.

02:08:36.000 I was like, don't do it.

02:08:37.000 The people are like, well, I want to get that 50 grand.

02:08:39.000 I go...

02:08:40.000 Listen to me, man.

02:08:41.000 I get what you're saying, but this is not the time for you.

02:08:44.000 You weigh 98 pounds.

02:08:46.000 This is a fucking bull.

02:08:47.000 There's another way to get this money.

02:08:48.000 It just seems like a way to get injured for the rest of your life.

02:08:51.000 What about Mark Wahlberg?

02:08:55.000 You see all his videos, how he gets up at 2.30 and goes into the gym?

02:08:59.000 You ever see his Instagram?

02:09:00.000 I have not.

02:09:01.000 I did see a thing with him and James Corden, though.

02:09:04.000 Oh, yeah?

02:09:04.000 Where James tried to do the workouts with him.

02:09:07.000 Oh, really?

02:09:08.000 Yeah.

02:09:09.000 They went over to Marky Mark's basement, and they worked out together.

02:09:13.000 He keeps posting, like, he gets up at 2.30, they're in the gym at 3. His home gym's incredible.

02:09:18.000 And he goes to bed at 7 o'clock, because he's up at 2, and he's...

02:09:23.000 Wow.

02:09:24.000 It's obviously working for him.

02:09:25.000 Super disciplined guy.

02:09:27.000 Yeah.

02:09:27.000 And he's in great shape.

02:09:28.000 But James Corden tried to do the workout with him.

02:09:30.000 It's pretty funny.

02:09:31.000 That's pretty funny.

02:09:32.000 He's got a gym in his house that's like a gym gym.

02:09:34.000 Oh, yeah.

02:09:35.000 Going to the gym.

02:09:36.000 Wow.

02:09:36.000 That's his whole house.

02:09:37.000 So this section of his house where the gym is is epic.

02:09:41.000 So they had all these crazy workouts they were doing.

02:09:43.000 Wow.

02:09:44.000 Well, I guess if those are the roles that you're playing, you gotta do it.

02:09:48.000 Badasses.

02:09:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:09:49.000 He's always doing, like he played Mickey Ward in that movie The Fighter.

02:09:53.000 Remember that?

02:09:54.000 Yeah.

02:09:55.000 Yeah, he's always doing those action roles.

02:09:58.000 Yeah.

02:09:59.000 But, you know, you could sleep in, too.

02:10:01.000 Still work out at 10. Yeah, why do you have to be in at 2.30 in the morning?

02:10:06.000 I'm not totally...

02:10:07.000 That's not healthy for you.

02:10:07.000 The only thing that's big about that is that you know that you are getting up early.

02:10:13.000 You know.

02:10:14.000 Like my friend Jocko.

02:10:15.000 He gets up every day at 4.30 in the morning and his entire Instagram is photos of his watch.

02:10:22.000 At 4.30 in the morning and then crazy workouts that he's doing.

02:10:25.000 Or shooting his bow or, you know, he's doing jujitsu.

02:10:28.000 When do you wake up?

02:10:30.000 I usually wake up around 7 or 8. I like to do different things early in the morning.

02:10:36.000 I like to take yoga some mornings.

02:10:37.000 I like to lift weights some mornings.

02:10:40.000 I don't generally like to do jiu-jitsu at 8 in the morning.

02:10:43.000 I like to do jiu-jitsu around noon to wake up.

02:10:46.000 Right.

02:10:47.000 I like to eat something, too, because it's so ruthless.

02:10:49.000 Yeah.

02:10:49.000 I don't want to be hungry in Jiu-Jitsu class.

02:10:52.000 I want to be hydrated and fueled two hours after a meal.

02:10:58.000 That's why I want to go into something like that.

02:11:00.000 But something where I can just push myself and I don't worry about being strangled.

02:11:05.000 Yeah.

02:11:07.000 Kettlebells or something like that.

02:11:07.000 I'll do a brutal kettlebell workout first thing in the morning.

02:11:10.000 I'll just have a caffeine drink and maybe a couple pieces of fruit.

02:11:13.000 And just go.

02:11:14.000 Yeah.

02:11:15.000 That's good.

02:11:16.000 Now, you do spots late at night, so do you shut it down at some point during the day?

02:11:22.000 Do you nap?

02:11:23.000 No.

02:11:24.000 You never nap?

02:11:25.000 No.

02:11:26.000 No.

02:11:27.000 I don't think I need it.

02:11:29.000 Interesting.

02:11:29.000 I don't feel it ever helps.

02:11:31.000 Right.

02:11:32.000 Yeah, I'd rather power through.

02:11:34.000 But I get it if you need it.

02:11:35.000 If I felt like I needed it.

02:11:36.000 Like, I definitely took a bunch of naps when I got back from Italy because I was whacked out.

02:11:40.000 Because I would sleep.

02:11:41.000 It was the time changing.

02:11:41.000 Yeah, it fucked me up, man.

02:11:43.000 I would sleep for like three hours and then I would wake up and I'd be like, why am I wide awake?

02:11:47.000 It's two in the morning.

02:11:48.000 It's just so stupid.

02:11:49.000 And then I would be up and then I'd get really sleepy around six.

02:11:52.000 I'd try to sleep for an hour before I had to wake up.

02:11:54.000 Then I woke up again.

02:11:55.000 I would take a nap in the afternoon.

02:11:57.000 It took like a good four or five days before that leveled out and I started sleeping on a normal schedule.

02:12:05.000 But you work out so much, you're burning energy.

02:12:08.000 Usually when you're really in shape, you don't need naps.

02:12:12.000 But you should use TM for your brain.

02:12:14.000 Yeah, that sounds like I should do it.

02:12:16.000 Why don't you just give me a mantra?

02:12:17.000 Why don't you come up with a mantra for me?

02:12:20.000 Why don't you become my instructor?

02:12:21.000 You've been doing it long enough.

02:12:22.000 I don't want to go to some other dude.

02:12:24.000 Diaz.

02:12:25.000 Just Diaz?

02:12:25.000 Yeah.

02:12:26.000 Which one?

02:12:26.000 Nick or Joey?

02:12:28.000 How about Nate?

02:12:30.000 Nate.

02:12:31.000 Nate Diaz?

02:12:32.000 No, Joey.

02:12:33.000 Joey?

02:12:34.000 Joey Diaz?

02:12:34.000 Just think Joey Diaz.

02:12:35.000 Joey Diaz.

02:12:36.000 Joey Diaz.

02:12:37.000 Joey Diaz.

02:12:38.000 You could just do it.

02:12:39.000 You could just create a, just use OM. I mean, I don't understand why.

02:12:43.000 Yeah, why do you have a mantra?

02:12:44.000 Yeah.

02:12:45.000 Tell us your mantra, bro.

02:12:46.000 I can't.

02:12:49.000 Come on.

02:12:50.000 I can't.

02:12:50.000 Tom.

02:12:52.000 I'm not allowed.

02:12:53.000 They'll come and get me.

02:12:54.000 That's so not true.

02:12:55.000 Huh?

02:12:56.000 That's so not true.

02:12:57.000 No, they won't come and get me, but it's kind of a personal thing because it has no meaning.

02:13:01.000 If I say it, then you're going to say something back.

02:13:04.000 Now there's something attached to it.

02:13:05.000 That's why you don't say it.

02:13:07.000 Oh, okay.

02:13:08.000 You know what I mean?

02:13:09.000 It's a pure word.

02:13:11.000 It's just a pure sound that has no mental attachments to it.

02:13:16.000 In the earliest days of religion, wasn't it a problem if you said God's name?

02:13:25.000 Aren't there, like, certain sects of religion that don't think that you should say God's name?

02:13:31.000 Like, whatever God's name is?

02:13:33.000 Whatever it's...

02:13:34.000 Todd?

02:13:35.000 Yeshua?

02:13:36.000 Or whatever it is.

02:13:37.000 Whatever the name of God is.

02:13:39.000 Isn't...

02:13:40.000 Why am I... I'm trying to remember this.

02:13:42.000 Sounds like a Jordan Peterson thing.

02:13:44.000 Yeah, he would know.

02:13:45.000 He would know the answer to it.

02:13:46.000 Yeah.

02:13:48.000 Well, obviously!

02:13:50.000 Well, obviously!

02:13:51.000 Well, obviously!

02:13:52.000 I like the way he says, obviously.

02:13:53.000 That's pretty good.

02:13:54.000 That's very Canadian.

02:13:56.000 You might be a Canadian spy.

02:13:59.000 Well, obviously!

02:14:00.000 You can't talk about the name without it coming back at you, obviously!

02:14:10.000 It's pretty good, right?

02:14:11.000 He's one of the most misinterpreted guys I think I've ever met.

02:14:16.000 Not just willfully misinterpreted, where people take the words and the things that he's saying and willfully misconstrue them.

02:14:25.000 They purposefully Change what he's saying to make it more offensive, more unreasonable.

02:14:33.000 People are angry.

02:14:34.000 Why?

02:14:35.000 Well, it's hard to say.

02:14:38.000 I think part of it has to do with the way he initially came onto the scene.

02:14:42.000 Oh, because of the transgender thing?

02:14:44.000 Yes.

02:14:45.000 He was very concerned that they were forcing people to use certain language, new pronouns.

02:14:51.000 Right.

02:14:52.000 And people are saying, like, why do you have a problem with people's pronouns?

02:14:57.000 And he's saying, that's not what I'm saying.

02:14:59.000 The problem is not whether or not I would have a problem with someone's pronouns.

02:15:03.000 The problem is being legally compelled to use these new words that someone's inventing.

02:15:09.000 He's like, I am not doing this.

02:15:11.000 Right, the government telling me how I can speak.

02:15:14.000 Exactly.

02:15:14.000 Not just that, the government also being influenced by people who want you to be legally compelled Right.

02:15:37.000 And of some communist dictatorships that have gone horribly wrong and some Marxist philosophies that he's aware of that he thinks are horribly damaging and dangerous if implemented on a large scale.

02:15:51.000 Like if you allow large groups of people to control language and to legally compel people to say these new words that you're inventing.

02:15:58.000 Right.

02:15:59.000 He's like, this is not good.

02:15:59.000 This is a bad path for humans.

02:16:01.000 Right.

02:16:02.000 Just historically, it's a bad path.

02:16:04.000 Right.

02:16:04.000 And so that's how he broke onto the scene.

02:16:06.000 And in that time period, all these people who opposed what he was saying, they were labeling him as transphobic.

02:16:13.000 They were labeling him as homophobic.

02:16:15.000 All these different things that are not true.

02:16:17.000 Right.

02:16:17.000 Then he gets connected to this Pepe the Frog thing, right?

02:16:21.000 Because he thinks it's kind of hilarious that the internet has taken on Pepe the Frog as like this meme.

02:16:27.000 The feels good man frog.

02:16:28.000 I don't know that.

02:16:29.000 You didn't know the whole thing?

02:16:31.000 No.

02:16:31.000 Wow, where have you been living, man?

02:16:33.000 Stop meditating and read the fucking newspaper.

02:16:35.000 No, but I listen to them all the time.

02:16:38.000 I didn't know any of this.

02:16:39.000 You don't know if Pepe the Frog is racist?

02:16:41.000 No.

02:16:41.000 Okay, this is serious.

02:16:43.000 Okay.

02:16:43.000 You have to know this, because if somebody wants you to take a picture with this fucking Pepe the Frog thing, there are a certain group of people out there who will decide Tom Papa is some sort of alt-white, white nationalist, white supremacist, Nazi person.

02:16:56.000 What?

02:16:56.000 No bullshit.

02:16:57.000 A fucking frog.

02:16:58.000 A frog?

02:16:58.000 No.

02:16:58.000 Yeah.

02:16:59.000 You know why?

02:16:59.000 Why?

02:17:00.000 Because some people have used that frog in a negative way.

02:17:04.000 Most people use that frog as a joke.

02:17:07.000 Like, it feels bad, man, and the frog is like, hmm.

02:17:11.000 It's an animated thing?

02:17:12.000 It's just a frog.

02:17:13.000 Just a cartoon of a frog.

02:17:14.000 Okay.

02:17:15.000 But the alt-right, or I shouldn't even say the alt-right, people on internet forums would constantly and consistently use that frog as a joke about everything.

02:17:28.000 Like they had Donald Trump's hair on that frog.

02:17:30.000 But it's more humor and mocking and making fun of things.

02:17:35.000 And as the British would say, taking the piss.

02:17:37.000 He's taking the piss with the frog.

02:17:39.000 But...

02:17:41.000 There were a few that would have the frog with like a swastika armband and a fucking Nazi hat on.

02:17:46.000 Sure.

02:17:47.000 Why?

02:17:47.000 Because they're internet people.

02:17:49.000 Right.

02:17:49.000 Like, you leave something on the internet off there long enough, someone's going to put a Nazi flag on.

02:17:54.000 Yeah.

02:17:55.000 It doesn't mean that it's a symbol of Nazis, or that it's a symbol of white supremacy, because that's not what it was.

02:18:01.000 Right.

02:18:01.000 And so he dared logically argue this.

02:18:04.000 And people were very, very upset.

02:18:06.000 And they thought he was defending...

02:18:08.000 Yes.

02:18:08.000 He's defending white nationalists.

02:18:10.000 He's saying, no, no, no.

02:18:11.000 It's a fucking cartoon frog, guys.

02:18:13.000 And it's not only that.

02:18:14.000 It's a cartoon frog written by a guy who specifically sued people to get them to stop using the cartoon flag.

02:18:21.000 Even Alex Jones had to pay out a lawsuit because InfoWars used an image of that cartoon flag.

02:18:27.000 Can you see if that's true?

02:18:28.000 I'm pretty sure that's true.

02:18:29.000 But it was a nominal amount.

02:18:32.000 He lost it in court, but it was a very small...

02:18:35.000 $15,000 he had to pay.

02:18:38.000 For Alex, that's not a lot of money.

02:18:39.000 Settlement.

02:18:39.000 It's a settlement.

02:18:40.000 So I'm sure he paid way more in legal fees to deal with something like that.

02:18:45.000 I'm sure.

02:18:46.000 If they had to put together some sort of a defense for $15,000, I'm sure that would probably cost a shitload of money.

02:18:51.000 But the point is that this frog has all these different meanings.

02:18:55.000 So as soon as it gets connected, though, to an awful thing, then immediately you've got to go, oh, okay, well, you can never use that frog again.

02:19:03.000 Because now the frog's corrupted.

02:19:05.000 Now, given what we know, and here's where it gets really weird, given what we know about the internet and specifically foreign influence on memes, like Russia, there were factories that were making funny memes about Hillary Clinton,

02:19:23.000 funny memes about all kinds of things, and doing so in order to get people upset or to laugh or to mock We're good to go.

02:19:39.000 We're good to go.

02:19:56.000 Came from...

02:19:56.000 Came from that.

02:19:57.000 Right.

02:19:58.000 How many?

02:19:59.000 Right.

02:19:59.000 Because if you had a frog that was mocking everybody, and the frog, like, was a really good symbol to make someone think that you're a fool.

02:20:08.000 So, like, you say something ridiculous, and you're trying to push for something, and then that frog is in a meme with you, what you're saying, but he looks like an idiot.

02:20:16.000 Right.

02:20:16.000 All of a sudden, you look like an idiot.

02:20:17.000 Right.

02:20:17.000 And the frog's mocking you.

02:20:19.000 Like, you can't beat the frog.

02:20:20.000 Right.

02:20:21.000 But you can turn the frog into a Nazi.

02:20:23.000 Right.

02:20:26.000 Now a Nazi.

02:20:27.000 So he got caught up in this?

02:20:29.000 Yeah.

02:20:30.000 He took a photo with these guys.

02:20:31.000 And he's talked about Pepe the Frog on my podcast.

02:20:35.000 Talked about it.

02:20:36.000 Explained the whole thing to me in depth.

02:20:39.000 And yet I've seen articles connecting him to white nationalists because there's a photo of him with the frog.

02:20:46.000 Jeez Louise.

02:20:48.000 Pull up photo of Jordan Peterson with Pepe the Frog.

02:20:51.000 Because he took a photo with these guys where they had like a frog flag.

02:20:55.000 And he thought it as what we're just saying.

02:20:59.000 That there's these guys that are taking the piss.

02:21:00.000 It's like a flat Stanley or something.

02:21:02.000 Exactly.

02:21:03.000 Right?

02:21:03.000 He thought it's like an innocent...

02:21:05.000 A man's internet version of Flat Stanley.

02:21:08.000 And it's, I think, primarily a 4chan thing.

02:21:10.000 Oh, really?

02:21:11.000 Jamie knows this shit more than I do, honestly.

02:21:14.000 There he is.

02:21:14.000 So, see?

02:21:15.000 He's standing there with these guys.

02:21:18.000 Oh, God.

02:21:18.000 These two fellas are holding up this Pepe the Frog flag, and Jordan's laughing and smiling with them.

02:21:24.000 And one of them has a, I think it's a Make America Great Again hat on.

02:21:28.000 Look, these kids are human trolls.

02:21:31.000 They're alive.

02:21:32.000 Wow.

02:21:32.000 Think of a troll on the internet.

02:21:34.000 Yeah.

02:21:34.000 And then think of one that thinks it's hilarious to be out there in public trolling with Peppy the Frog flag and a Make America Great Again hat.

02:21:42.000 Oh my god.

02:21:43.000 He's fucking with people.

02:21:44.000 This is what this is.

02:21:46.000 It's a lot of what internet culture is.

02:21:50.000 Jordan understands this and talks about it and discusses it in length and he makes it make sense.

02:21:55.000 So that's one other reason why people are upset at him.

02:21:59.000 It's just very easy to label people in certain ways today.

02:22:03.000 It's very easy to label someone as a misogynist.

02:22:07.000 But if you listen to the breadth of his work, this is not a bad person.

02:22:11.000 He's a He's a very good person.

02:22:12.000 He's very enlightening.

02:22:13.000 There's a lot of real practical ways to, as he says, clean up your room and live right.

02:22:21.000 Well, he's a personal friend of mine.

02:22:23.000 I like him very much as a human.

02:22:25.000 Well, obviously, how do you say?

02:22:30.000 You think about these things.

02:22:32.000 You're trying to...

02:22:36.000 You're trying to have a conversation.

02:22:38.000 It shows how actually articulate he is because you can't come up with things that he would say that make sense.

02:22:44.000 Well, I know.

02:22:45.000 It's hard, right?

02:22:46.000 There's no catchphrase for him.

02:22:49.000 Obviously, clean up your damn room!

02:22:52.000 Clean up your damn room!

02:22:55.000 He's got a lot of great advice.

02:22:57.000 And he's also a very, very insightful person.

02:23:00.000 And he's not a bad guy at all.

02:23:03.000 It's just people have this horrible thing that they do today where when they want to dismiss someone instead of...

02:23:09.000 Instead of listening to them and debating the points that they have or analyzing them in an objective kind way, they try to attack.

02:23:18.000 Everybody's attacking.

02:23:19.000 Everything sucks.

02:23:20.000 Everybody sucks.

02:23:21.000 Everybody's stupid.

02:23:22.000 Everybody's racist.

02:23:23.000 Everybody's dumb.

02:23:24.000 Everybody's ridiculous.

02:23:26.000 Everybody's a liar.

02:23:28.000 Everybody's shit.

02:23:28.000 You're not on my team.

02:23:29.000 You're on someone else's team.

02:23:31.000 There's just so much of that today.

02:23:32.000 It's unnecessary.

02:23:34.000 I really enjoy listening to him.

02:23:36.000 I enjoy all those biblical speeches that he gives about trying to interpret the Old Testament and stuff like that.

02:23:44.000 It's very, very interesting.

02:23:47.000 I've never heard somebody connect Our practical, trying to find our way through the woods to those writings.

02:23:55.000 Like, you always just heard of it as growing up as a Catholic kid.

02:23:58.000 You just kind of heard them as like, they're stories and they're obviously, you know, they're metaphors and whatever.

02:24:03.000 But I never heard somebody really say, no, it's how you treat your father and the way you're trying to figure out your way through life.

02:24:12.000 That's what these things mean.

02:24:13.000 Like, you know, he is a, it's a very fascinating listener.

02:24:18.000 Yeah, he's got a very unusual way of interpreting biblical verses and stories from the Bible, stories from other religions as well, where he's explaining how it sort of interfaces with man's search for meaning.

02:24:34.000 Right.

02:24:34.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:24:35.000 It's like a practical way to kind of approach the world.

02:24:42.000 In a time when we have nothing to hang on to, it's kind of interesting stuff to think about.

02:24:47.000 Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why some people think that it's survived as long as it has, that there is some merit in using it as a framework for living your life.

02:24:56.000 Yeah, you know, there's like some practice, like we were saying earlier, of having some kind of a guidebook, you know, to get you through life, like even just in the etiquette manner stuff.

02:25:05.000 It's also the big stuff.

02:25:06.000 It's like...

02:25:07.000 You know, I had a friend whose father passed away and it's like, it's a hard thing when you don't have a framework, a guidebook to help you deal with that and get through the woods and you're just kind of out there on your own.

02:25:20.000 Right, they're just gone, they're not in heaven.

02:25:23.000 Right.

02:25:23.000 And I'm watching my grandparents, my two grandmothers who went to church all the time.

02:25:31.000 And they didn't muddy themselves with whether or not this was the answer.

02:25:36.000 But it gave them structure.

02:25:39.000 And it gave them, okay, so the neighbor died, and we go to the church, and we go to the wake, and we go to the thing, and then we have cake, and then we sit and pay visit to his widower, to the widow, the next week.

02:25:53.000 Like, these things, these roots, these pathways made them very happy people.

02:25:58.000 It wasn't like kind of overthinking, well, is the church bullshit?

02:26:02.000 They didn't care about that.

02:26:04.000 They didn't get into, maybe it is, maybe it's not, is it...

02:26:08.000 Is it all the answers?

02:26:09.000 They didn't get that far.

02:26:10.000 They just got, this is how you deal with this funeral of your neighbor.

02:26:15.000 You know what I mean?

02:26:16.000 There's like that practical little guidebook stuff that we kind of lack right now.

02:26:22.000 Like Wild West Christianity, right?

02:26:24.000 One of the things about Wild West films, maybe it's accurate, maybe it's not.

02:26:28.000 But one of the things that I always enjoyed is the simplistic way that they interface with the world.

02:26:33.000 The way they discuss the way things are.

02:26:35.000 Well...

02:26:35.000 I guess we're just going to have to go do that, man.

02:26:37.000 There wasn't a lot of hemming and hawing, and everybody just got stuff done.

02:26:41.000 And they had that sort of pioneer mentality, right?

02:26:46.000 Like, they were rough folks.

02:26:47.000 So if they were talking about Jesus and what a good God-fearing Christian would do, they had a very clear and distinct framework for where they would operate.

02:26:56.000 They played by those rules.

02:26:58.000 Yeah, I'm a good Christian, so this is how I feel.

02:27:01.000 And you'd be like, wow, the simplicity and ruggedness of this guy's vision...

02:27:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:27:06.000 And then, you know, is it corrupted by people?

02:27:09.000 Yeah.

02:27:09.000 Is it, you know, do they use that to go attack some Native Americans?

02:27:13.000 What's hotter than, like, a pioneer woman who's hot?

02:27:18.000 Ooh.

02:27:19.000 Like a pioneer-type woman who's actually hot, who can, like, do chores and shit and works hard.

02:27:26.000 Yeah.

02:27:26.000 You know what I mean?

02:27:26.000 Like, she's surviving.

02:27:27.000 Like, you're out there, both of you are clawing and scratching.

02:27:30.000 She's hot as fuck, though.

02:27:31.000 Hot as fuck, but yet a pioneer woman.

02:27:34.000 Yeah.

02:27:34.000 Something sexy as fuck about that, right?

02:27:36.000 That's a good one.

02:27:37.000 Yeah.

02:27:38.000 That's a good one.

02:27:39.000 And they had those big fluffy things they wore on their legs under the dresses.

02:27:43.000 Yeah, like fucking robbers are trying to take over the wagon, just shooting at them.

02:27:48.000 Pew, pew, pew.

02:27:50.000 Yeah, some dudes with masks on.

02:27:52.000 I got your paw!

02:27:52.000 Like the first season of Westworld?

02:27:53.000 Yeah, like that girl.

02:27:54.000 I got your paw!

02:27:55.000 That's right, that girl from Westworld, hot as fuck.

02:27:58.000 She's so hot.

02:27:59.000 There she is.

02:28:00.000 God damn, dude, that's the perfect world.

02:28:02.000 That's the perfect woman.

02:28:04.000 A really, really hot, badass western chick.

02:28:07.000 What is that woman's name again?

02:28:08.000 She's really good too.

02:28:10.000 I don't think that she'd...

02:28:11.000 Whatever her name is as an actress.

02:28:13.000 What's her name as an actress?

02:28:15.000 Would she like an L.A. comedian though?

02:28:19.000 What's that?

02:28:20.000 Would she like an L.A. comedian?

02:28:22.000 Only a bald one who makes bread.

02:28:24.000 Evan Rachel Wood.

02:28:26.000 She's hot.

02:28:27.000 She's not just hot.

02:28:29.000 She's a really good actor.

02:28:31.000 She's really good.

02:28:32.000 You believe she's a struggling robot trying to figure out if she's real or not.

02:28:37.000 Trying to figure out what these memories that she has are.

02:28:39.000 But she's also hot as the sun.

02:28:42.000 Woo!

02:28:42.000 She is beautiful.

02:28:44.000 She's not just beautiful.

02:28:45.000 She's a very specific kind of beautiful.

02:28:47.000 Right.

02:28:47.000 Like an uncorrupted beauty.

02:28:49.000 Right.

02:28:50.000 She ain't like a hoe.

02:28:51.000 Right.

02:28:52.000 She's not out there with like something.

02:28:54.000 Yeah.

02:28:54.000 Her ass sticking out, like washing a car.

02:28:57.000 She's hot.

02:28:57.000 She has dignity.

02:28:59.000 Yeah.

02:28:59.000 Well...

02:29:00.000 She's a robot.

02:29:01.000 She's a robot.

02:29:03.000 But don't show that one.

02:29:04.000 That's not a good picture of her.

02:29:06.000 Get one of her when she's in a dress.

02:29:09.000 Someone has a very personal relationship with this.

02:29:11.000 Yes!

02:29:11.000 Shut your mouth, bro!

02:29:12.000 She's my hot robot friend.

02:29:16.000 Back off.

02:29:17.000 If robots were that close to people, if you could actually make love to a robot, that Westworld concept, the freakiest part of that is that they fuck these things and kill these things.

02:29:29.000 Right.

02:29:30.000 Not that these things become sentient and they realize it and they try to escape the park.

02:29:34.000 Do they feel like they've got skin?

02:29:36.000 Like it feels like a person?

02:29:37.000 You can't distinguish.

02:29:39.000 They don't even know sometimes if they're robots.

02:29:41.000 How about that?

02:29:42.000 That's how good it is.

02:29:43.000 That's pretty great.

02:29:44.000 I'd have sex with a robot.

02:29:46.000 Fuck yeah, you would.

02:29:47.000 Yeah.

02:29:47.000 He'd probably have sex with a balloon.

02:29:48.000 I was going to say, there's not much I wouldn't.

02:29:51.000 Probably have sex with a lot of stuff.

02:29:53.000 It's just a matter of like, what if someone said, if you don't have sex with this thing, your whole family dies.

02:29:59.000 You'd have sex with it.

02:30:00.000 I hate when someone says, oh, I would never fuck a pineapple.

02:30:03.000 Yes, you would.

02:30:05.000 If your life depended on it, if someone had a gun to your fucking head and said, you fuck that pineapple or I'm going to kill your dog.

02:30:11.000 Fine.

02:30:12.000 You'll fuck the pineapple.

02:30:13.000 You have to just reach a breaking point.

02:30:14.000 Please.

02:30:15.000 Yeah.

02:30:16.000 I'd do it again.

02:30:17.000 So, have you paid attention to this Jeffrey Epstein stuff?

02:30:21.000 Yeah, a little bit.

02:30:22.000 What do you think is going on?

02:30:24.000 I think...

02:30:25.000 I think he...

02:30:28.000 If you had a guess.

02:30:30.000 I think that too many very powerful people...

02:30:32.000 He had stuff on too many very powerful people.

02:30:35.000 Likely, right?

02:30:36.000 Probably.

02:30:37.000 Yeah.

02:30:38.000 They took the guy off suicide watch, even though he's one of the most important witnesses.

02:30:42.000 Yeah, weird.

02:30:43.000 In a really creepy, high-profile case that might have connected a bunch of really powerful people.

02:30:50.000 Yeah.

02:30:51.000 I don't necessarily believe that it's, you know, the people from, like, it's Trump or it's the Democrats.

02:31:00.000 I think there's other very powerful people that would have wanted this guy to go away.

02:31:04.000 Oh, for sure.

02:31:04.000 We have no idea how many very powerful people want this guy to go away.

02:31:07.000 He could sing.

02:31:08.000 Right.

02:31:08.000 He could sing for his freedom.

02:31:10.000 My question is, is there...

02:31:12.000 Didn't they get a whole bunch of evidence and stuff from him that these powerful people would have...

02:31:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:31:17.000 Where is all that stuff?

02:31:18.000 Yeah.

02:31:19.000 You said you didn't know that he had a cellmate.

02:31:21.000 This was the guy that was his cellmate.

02:31:22.000 That's his cellmate?

02:31:23.000 What?

02:31:24.000 How hard do you think that guy fucked him?

02:31:26.000 He's a former cop.

02:31:27.000 Jeffrey Epstein reportedly wasn't checked on for hours before his apparent suicide.

02:31:31.000 That guy found him there?

02:31:33.000 Why do we think that that guy didn't kill him?

02:31:35.000 They left a rope in there?

02:31:37.000 That guy could definitely kill him without leaving any evidence.

02:31:39.000 That guy looks like he could do some damage.

02:31:41.000 Look at the guy's arms.

02:31:42.000 That guy could just wrap Jeffrey Epstein up in a bear hug and hang him himself.

02:31:47.000 Maybe he just choked him.

02:31:48.000 Yeah.

02:31:49.000 I mean, he could put that noose around Epstein's neck and then squeeze his arms together and just pull on it until the guy hangs to death and then go, oh my god, I found him hanged.

02:31:58.000 That guy's jacked.

02:32:00.000 Imagine you go to jail in a high-profile case and they throw you in there with a giant bald guy.

02:32:07.000 That's like Grossberger from Stir Crazy.

02:32:09.000 But look at this.

02:32:10.000 This is like caricature of the guy you don't want to be stuck in a prison with.

02:32:14.000 It literally is the guy.

02:32:16.000 In the bad movie, that's the guy waiting for you in the cell.

02:32:19.000 Ex-cop.

02:32:20.000 Yeah.

02:32:20.000 He looks like...

02:32:21.000 What is his name?

02:32:22.000 What'd he go to jail for?

02:32:24.000 Yeah.

02:32:24.000 Look at his name.

02:32:27.000 Tartaglione!

02:32:29.000 Nicholas Tartaglione!

02:32:31.000 The deaths of four men.

02:32:33.000 Stepping from an alleged cocaine drug conspiracy.

02:32:36.000 And bro, he's that big and he's 51. How many cops are smuggling steroids in their asshole to get to this guy?

02:32:42.000 How's he staying that big?

02:32:44.000 So he hung himself?

02:32:46.000 So they had like a belt or a rope left in there with him?

02:32:49.000 This guy probably said, listen, if you keep getting me the juice, I'll keep this fucking guy on ice.

02:32:55.000 Right.

02:32:57.000 They said this is the one conspiracy where nobody believes the true story that I've talked to.

02:33:06.000 No, nobody.

02:33:07.000 Except Michael Shermer.

02:33:09.000 Who?

02:33:10.000 Michael Shermer, the guy who runs Skeptics Magazine.

02:33:12.000 He's a friend of mine.

02:33:13.000 Nice guy.

02:33:13.000 I couldn't disagree with him more.

02:33:15.000 He thinks that things just happen and people kill themselves.

02:33:20.000 That's his take on it.

02:33:21.000 He likes a lot of conspiracies?

02:33:23.000 No, no.

02:33:24.000 He silences conspiracies.

02:33:25.000 He's never met a conspiracy he likes.

02:33:27.000 He doesn't like any conspiracies.

02:33:29.000 And this one is almost predictable.

02:33:33.000 He's right in a way.

02:33:34.000 And he's still like now?

02:33:34.000 He's right in a way.

02:33:35.000 And I think his concept is, pull up his tweets so we can read what he's saying.

02:33:38.000 I mean, you're not in a good place.

02:33:40.000 You can see wanting to kill yourself.

02:33:41.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

02:33:43.000 Make that larger, please.

02:33:44.000 I don't know where he started.

02:33:46.000 Just make it larger.

02:33:48.000 It just seems...

02:33:49.000 Scroll down a little bit there.

02:33:51.000 Okay.

02:33:52.000 A new conspiracy theory developed on Epstein regarding suicide.

02:33:55.000 They made it happen on purpose.

02:33:58.000 Okay, here it is.

02:34:00.000 Scroll down.

02:34:00.000 If some no-name pedophile died by suicide in prison awaiting trial, would anyone bother concocting conspiracy theories about him being murdered by clandestine outside forces?

02:34:11.000 Of course not.

02:34:12.000 As with JFK, Diana, Marilyn, et al., fame warps perspective and fuels unwarranted speculation.

02:34:20.000 First of all, This is not unwarranted.

02:34:23.000 Second of all, if you don't think that powerful people have people killed, you're hilarious.

02:34:27.000 Like, that is willfully naive.

02:34:31.000 They do do it.

02:34:32.000 It says, True.

02:34:41.000 Sure.

02:34:42.000 You shouldn't do that.

02:34:43.000 It is possible.

02:34:44.000 But what are the odds?

02:34:46.000 There's something where it stinks so bad.

02:34:49.000 Because he's in so many circles and touched so many super powerful people.

02:34:53.000 It's different.

02:34:54.000 Super powerful people.

02:34:55.000 Not only that.

02:34:56.000 He's not just a pedophile like he's saying.

02:34:59.000 Somebody gave him a $70 million house in New York City.

02:35:04.000 Gave him?

02:35:04.000 Gave him.

02:35:05.000 One of his clients.

02:35:06.000 Gave him.

02:35:06.000 He was the power of attorney at the time, so he signed it over to himself.

02:35:10.000 But the guy let him do that.

02:35:13.000 That's the question, is whether or not he even knew what was happening.

02:35:16.000 Oh, come on.

02:35:16.000 Like he just stole the house from the guy?

02:35:18.000 He was in control of a lot of stuff.

02:35:19.000 That's what's coming out now.

02:35:20.000 A $70 million house?

02:35:21.000 Who gave it to us?

02:35:22.000 That's what's coming out now.

02:35:23.000 But how would the guy who he signed it off on, how would the guy not know this guy stole his house and not sue him?

02:35:28.000 He was in control of all of his finances.

02:35:30.000 Right, but he was living in the house.

02:35:32.000 Who?

02:35:33.000 The guy?

02:35:34.000 Wexner?

02:35:34.000 No!

02:35:35.000 Epstein.

02:35:36.000 He bought the house for him, basically.

02:35:38.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:35:39.000 The guy bought it for Epstein.

02:35:41.000 Right.

02:35:42.000 But who fucking buys you a $70 million house?

02:35:45.000 Hey, I don't know.

02:35:46.000 No one's bought me nothing!

02:35:48.000 There's so many questions about this guy, about where his wealth was, and then the color of his house.

02:35:54.000 Didn't he?

02:35:55.000 The eyeballs on the entrance and stuff.

02:35:57.000 The shit about the house is crazy, too.

02:35:59.000 Well, there's cameras inside the house and shit, but the other thing was the house that's on the island that is the same color.

02:36:05.000 It's painted in the same way the Israeli flag is.

02:36:08.000 And there was an idea.

02:36:10.000 People are wondering how far this guy's influence goes and where it comes from.

02:36:15.000 Look at this house.

02:36:16.000 Bro.

02:36:17.000 That was his house?

02:36:18.000 That was his house on this fucking island.

02:36:19.000 On the island, it was like a building there.

02:36:21.000 That's a temple we had on his island.

02:36:23.000 Bro, that's a dope temple, by the way.

02:36:25.000 That thing looks awesome.

02:36:26.000 Jeez.

02:36:26.000 I would love that if that was my house.

02:36:27.000 Come on in.

02:36:28.000 How'd he get so much money?

02:36:30.000 Exactly.

02:36:30.000 No one really knows.

02:36:32.000 Didn't he have something to do with Victoria's Secret?

02:36:34.000 Yeah, he managed some money for the Victoria's Secrets guy that owned that.

02:36:39.000 He's the guy who gave him the house.

02:36:42.000 You know, Bill Clinton flew on his private jet no less than 26 times.

02:36:47.000 Whatever.

02:36:48.000 No big deal.

02:36:48.000 He was a good guy.

02:36:50.000 Yeah, but I mean, I flew with him 26 times.

02:36:54.000 I've never flown with...

02:36:56.000 It would have to be my very best friends that I tour with all the time.

02:36:59.000 Have I flown with you 26 times?

02:37:01.000 Maybe four or five.

02:37:03.000 Not privately ever.

02:37:04.000 Maybe if we flew together.

02:37:06.000 It might be a little more than four or five.

02:37:07.000 It might be ten.

02:37:08.000 It might be ten.

02:37:09.000 I've known you for years.

02:37:10.000 It's not been 26 times.

02:37:12.000 So Bill Clinton is flying with this one guy.

02:37:15.000 Why he's the President of the United States, I think.

02:37:17.000 Was he still President then?

02:37:18.000 It was afterwards.

02:37:19.000 Afterwards, I'm done.

02:37:20.000 I flew with Jerry probably 20 times.

02:37:22.000 Hey man, I'm making money.

02:37:24.000 I like flying with Jeffrey.

02:37:25.000 I don't have to pay.

02:37:27.000 I mean, that's a lot of times.

02:37:29.000 To be partying with a dude, you would think that you would find out about how that guy fucks.

02:37:36.000 When he had a plane on the plane was sort of when he fucked up, because that's when he stopped flying under the radar.

02:37:41.000 Who did?

02:37:41.000 Jeffrey Epstein?

02:37:42.000 Yeah, when that day happened, I was like, uh-oh.

02:37:44.000 And he's been hiding ever since then, because that was like 2003 or 2004. Oh, really?

02:37:48.000 That's when he got busted, was shortly after that.

02:37:51.000 He's been on the run since then.

02:37:54.000 Wasn't Trump talking about it with Howard?

02:37:56.000 Howard Stern.

02:37:57.000 What was he talking about?

02:37:58.000 Oh, about how he likes the ladies.

02:38:00.000 Like, why were they talking about him?

02:38:02.000 I don't know.

02:38:03.000 Because he was arrested or something?

02:38:07.000 No, no, no.

02:38:08.000 He was just in the news?

02:38:08.000 The arrest was later, and that was part of the problem was that with the arrest, the arrest was for some sexual thing with underage girls, and he got a really light sentence.

02:38:18.000 And then more people were freaking out about it.

02:38:20.000 And then one woman pursued this pretty heavily.

02:38:22.000 She was a journalist, and she pursued this story, right?

02:38:25.000 That's where I was trying to tell you.

02:38:26.000 I tried to find out the Miami Herald, but that book I was telling you, I just read about James Patterson.

02:38:31.000 He said everything that kind of came out in that story, they already wrote about about 2016. And for some reason, the media didn't really pick up on it.

02:38:38.000 He said he wrote letters to everyone.

02:38:39.000 Well, yeah, that was when this guy got that really light sentence was around there.

02:38:44.000 But this one woman kept writing about it.

02:38:47.000 Pull up the name of this woman.

02:38:49.000 Because this one woman really doggedly pursued this story.

02:38:53.000 And it was because of her.

02:38:55.000 And I think a lot of it had to do with her recognition that this guy had gotten this creepy light sound.

02:39:00.000 Julie Brown.

02:39:02.000 Not to be confused with downtown Julie Brown.

02:39:04.000 Remember her?

02:39:05.000 Yeah, I do.

02:39:06.000 Julie K. Brown.

02:39:07.000 She was great.

02:39:08.000 Like Michael B. Jordan.

02:39:10.000 The actor?

02:39:11.000 Not the world's greatest.

02:39:13.000 No one wants their name even close to this story.

02:39:16.000 How about James Brown, the fucking sportscaster?

02:39:19.000 Imagine that?

02:39:20.000 What?

02:39:20.000 That guy, nice guy.

02:39:21.000 James Brown, the sportscaster?

02:39:22.000 Yeah.

02:39:22.000 How the fuck do you call yourself James Brown?

02:39:25.000 How dare you?

02:39:26.000 Like, he owns that, right?

02:39:28.000 Ow!

02:39:29.000 Like Michael Jackson.

02:39:30.000 If you're Michael Jackson and you're a singer, what?

02:39:32.000 You're who?

02:39:33.000 Yeah.

02:39:33.000 Right?

02:39:35.000 Yeah.

02:39:35.000 Don't you have anyone in your camp telling you this is a bad idea?

02:39:39.000 Isn't there two of those cuts like a knife guys?

02:39:41.000 What's that guy's name?

02:39:42.000 The guy from Canada?

02:39:43.000 Um...

02:39:44.000 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

02:39:47.000 Brian...

02:39:47.000 Brian Adams.

02:39:48.000 Brian Adams.

02:39:49.000 There's a new guy.

02:39:49.000 There's Brian and there's Ryan.

02:39:50.000 Oh, there's Ryan.

02:39:51.000 Again, change your fucking name.

02:39:53.000 Ryan got in trouble too.

02:39:54.000 How about Ricky Adams?

02:39:55.000 He'd be Ricky Adams.

02:39:56.000 Ricky Adams?

02:39:59.000 Whatever happened to Brian Adams, man?

02:40:01.000 That Cuts Like a Knife guy?

02:40:02.000 Cuts Like a Knife!

02:40:03.000 That guy was awesome.

02:40:05.000 Summer of 69?

02:40:06.000 Yeah.

02:40:07.000 He had some great jams.

02:40:08.000 I think he's still playing casinos.

02:40:10.000 Yeah.

02:40:11.000 Really?

02:40:12.000 I've seen him.

02:40:12.000 What's the show tonight?

02:40:13.000 Where?

02:40:15.000 Bristow, Virginia.

02:40:16.000 There you go.

02:40:16.000 We should all go to see him.

02:40:17.000 We should make a road trip.

02:40:18.000 Yeah.

02:40:19.000 I'm sure it's a good show.

02:40:21.000 We really have to start doing stuff like that.

02:40:23.000 Yeah.

02:40:23.000 Make road trips just to go to see ridiculous shows.

02:40:26.000 Yeah.

02:40:27.000 Def Leppard's out there.

02:40:28.000 Journey's out there.

02:40:30.000 Journey with the Japanese singer.

02:40:32.000 Yeah.

02:40:32.000 That guy's badass.

02:40:34.000 Fuck yeah he is!

02:40:35.000 He sounds as good as Steve Perry ever did in his prime.

02:40:38.000 I know.

02:40:38.000 It's amazing.

02:40:39.000 Steve Perry's still out there.

02:40:40.000 I don't think he's performing, but he's still around.

02:40:43.000 What are you playing?

02:40:44.000 Bryan Adams' giant crowd.

02:40:45.000 Wow.

02:40:46.000 Look at that.

02:40:47.000 That's Bryan Adams?

02:40:47.000 Yeah.

02:40:48.000 That guy was a star.

02:40:51.000 Post-menopausal chicks.

02:40:52.000 It's the summer of 69. What does he look like these days?

02:40:56.000 He's stretching here.

02:40:57.000 Let me see.

02:40:57.000 He's working out.

02:40:58.000 Look at that.

02:40:58.000 He's ripped.

02:40:59.000 He's fit.

02:41:00.000 Stretch that back, he says.

02:41:02.000 Brian Adams is fit.

02:41:03.000 That's not him.

02:41:04.000 Is it?

02:41:04.000 Yeah, it's him.

02:41:05.000 It's a weird black and white photo.

02:41:08.000 Yeah.

02:41:08.000 He's got some Snapchat filter on him, too.

02:41:10.000 He's obviously spiritually sound.

02:41:13.000 He looks healthy.

02:41:14.000 Working out.

02:41:15.000 Well, listen, man.

02:41:15.000 That guy was a...

02:41:16.000 He was a rock star when I was in high school.

02:41:18.000 That's right.

02:41:19.000 And if he looks that good today, that's incredible.

02:41:21.000 He's taking care of himself.

02:41:23.000 Must be.

02:41:23.000 Yeah.

02:41:24.000 He's doing something right.

02:41:25.000 Yeah.

02:41:25.000 He's not running around after teenage girls.

02:41:27.000 Hang on.

02:41:28.000 He's living a good life.

02:41:29.000 Floozies.

02:41:30.000 Flying over Bill Clinton.

02:41:31.000 Obviously.

02:41:32.000 Hey.

02:41:33.000 Hey, Epstein, what are we doing today?

02:41:37.000 Yeah, it's, yeah.

02:41:39.000 For conspiracy theorists right now, like for Sam Tripoli, you know Sam Tripoli runs Tinfoil Hat Podcast?

02:41:45.000 He's in his glory.

02:41:47.000 Oh, God.

02:41:48.000 He couldn't be happier.

02:41:49.000 But he's taking it to another level.

02:41:50.000 He thinks he's not really dead, that they faked his death.

02:41:53.000 Ah, of course.

02:41:54.000 Dun, dun, dun.

02:41:56.000 Geez Louise.

02:41:58.000 For conspiracy theorists, when a conspiracy theory is obvious, they look for the non-obvious possibility.

02:42:03.000 They do the exact opposite of what Michael Shermer was talking about with conspiracy theorists.

02:42:07.000 Never attribute to malice.

02:42:09.000 Everything.

02:42:10.000 Everything is malice.

02:42:15.000 If it looks obvious, there's something more going on.

02:42:18.000 It's so creepy.

02:42:20.000 God.

02:42:20.000 Well, who cares how, what?

02:42:23.000 It's good he's gone.

02:42:24.000 Maybe not, man.

02:42:25.000 It's good he's gone.

02:42:26.000 Maybe not.

02:42:27.000 Maybe if he stayed alive, he could have told us some stuff about some terrible people that are still alive doing things.

02:42:32.000 Yeah, he's the worst one.

02:42:33.000 I don't know about that.

02:42:35.000 He's a creepo.

02:42:36.000 How do we know that?

02:42:36.000 We know he's a creep, most likely, but we definitely don't know if he's the worst out of all those people that he was creeping with.

02:42:43.000 Yeah.

02:42:45.000 The thing is, if the guy really did film a bunch of people that are super powerful people doing crazy shit...

02:42:49.000 Yeah.

02:42:50.000 There's gotta be some stuff, right?

02:42:53.000 If I was leading the investigation, I'd go after the hard drives.

02:42:57.000 That's where they keep it all, on the hard drives.

02:43:00.000 They did find hard drives filled with stuff that he had.

02:43:03.000 They did?

02:43:03.000 Yeah, that he had, with very young girls in subjective poses.

02:43:07.000 I don't know if it was pornography, but they were talking about how many different photos of young ladies that they found on his computer.

02:43:16.000 Alright, enough with this guy.

02:43:17.000 But I don't know if they were young like illegal or young like 18. You know, there's something weird about when you watch some porn where they're pretending to be schoolgirls.

02:43:26.000 Mm-hmm.

02:43:26.000 You know?

02:43:27.000 Yes.

02:43:27.000 Like, you know the girl's 30, but she's pretending to be 18. But they always put them in an outfit.

02:43:31.000 Yeah.

02:43:32.000 There's something weird about those porns.

02:43:33.000 Like, what is happening here?

02:43:34.000 No, exactly.

02:43:36.000 One guy's a milkman.

02:43:37.000 The other guy, you know...

02:43:39.000 He just comes over.

02:43:41.000 Must you bring up my fetish, milkman porn?

02:43:43.000 He knocks on the door.

02:43:44.000 Girl answers.

02:43:46.000 She's got pigtails.

02:43:48.000 No.

02:43:48.000 My dad's not home right now.

02:43:50.000 I guess you can come inside.

02:43:53.000 No.

02:43:54.000 Next thing you know.

02:43:57.000 How about watching a baseball game?

02:43:59.000 You know what another thing is weird about porn?

02:44:01.000 There's a lot of step-mother porn.

02:44:06.000 Stepmother?

02:44:06.000 Stepmother and stepsister.

02:44:08.000 Dude with his stepmother?

02:44:10.000 Yeah.

02:44:10.000 Or dude with his stepsister?

02:44:12.000 Exactly.

02:44:13.000 Like, dad marries some new floozy, dad's off at work, and the son's like 19, he wakes up and he's got a boner, and next thing you know, his stepmom's sucking his dick.

02:44:22.000 Now, those are fun.

02:44:30.000 Right.

02:44:49.000 Oh my God, we shouldn't be doing this.

02:44:51.000 Right.

02:44:51.000 That's a thrill for a lot of people.

02:44:52.000 Right.

02:44:53.000 They feel sexually suppressed.

02:44:54.000 So when they watch porn, like, oh my God, it's a stepmom.

02:44:57.000 Is she going to do it?

02:44:58.000 She's going to take a picture of her.

02:44:59.000 Oh my God.

02:45:00.000 Right.

02:45:00.000 So it's like forbidden.

02:45:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:02.000 Like you with the Westworld thing.

02:45:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:06.000 I mean, that's the thing with people, right?

02:45:08.000 Especially when people get told what to do too much when they're young, and they develop this desire to do forbidden things.

02:45:16.000 Right.

02:45:16.000 To be rebellious.

02:45:17.000 Right.

02:45:19.000 Yeah.

02:45:20.000 I mean, yeah.

02:45:22.000 Yeah.

02:45:24.000 But it's also like the pushing the envelope thing too, right?

02:45:26.000 You get bored.

02:45:28.000 People like outrageous things and those outrageous things are not outrageous enough anymore, then they get more outrageous somehow or another.

02:45:35.000 Right.

02:45:35.000 That's right.

02:45:36.000 That's why you shouldn't go down the path.

02:45:38.000 Right?

02:45:40.000 That's why you're healthier, working out like crazy, or being obsessed with cars, or being obsessed with sports.

02:45:49.000 You want to get more and more extreme with it when you're dealing with tires.

02:45:53.000 You're not dealing with human beings that are being trafficked through Florida with the idea that they might have some fame.

02:46:00.000 You know what I mean?

02:46:01.000 Why's it gotta be Florida?

02:46:02.000 That's where it all happens, right?

02:46:03.000 Really?

02:46:04.000 All bad things.

02:46:05.000 Where was that Epstein guy?

02:46:06.000 Florida.

02:46:07.000 Yeah.

02:46:07.000 Mar-a-Lago.

02:46:08.000 Florida.

02:46:09.000 You ever see Rashida Jones' documentary on porn?

02:46:13.000 No.

02:46:14.000 It's pretty devastating.

02:46:16.000 Who's Rashida Jones again?

02:46:17.000 She was Quincy Jones' daughter.

02:46:19.000 She was on the...

02:46:20.000 She's very funny, talented.

02:46:22.000 She was in...

02:46:24.000 Parks and Rec.

02:46:25.000 And The Office.

02:46:27.000 And she made a documentary on just like all these young girls that, especially now with social media and wanting to be liked and having all these promises of fame and that what you think is amateur porn and is harmless, there's really a very high percentage of these people are being exploited.

02:46:45.000 And yeah, it'll make you look at porn very differently.

02:46:49.000 I'm sure.

02:46:50.000 I recommend it.

02:46:52.000 Is there any kind of acceptable porn?

02:46:55.000 Yeah.

02:46:55.000 Like, what if it's like 35-year-old ladies that are just freaks?

02:46:59.000 Or not freaks.

02:47:00.000 They just want to fuck on camera.

02:47:02.000 They get a thrill out of people watching them fuck.

02:47:04.000 Is that possible?

02:47:05.000 I don't know if it's possible.

02:47:07.000 That's the question, right?

02:47:08.000 Yeah.

02:47:09.000 The question is, you always worry if...

02:47:11.000 But do you...

02:47:12.000 What happened to them?

02:47:13.000 Right.

02:47:14.000 Put them in that mind space.

02:47:15.000 Because we don't have a fear about men.

02:47:17.000 Look, are you worried about men who are 35 years old who are having sex with women on camera?

02:47:22.000 Do those trouble you?

02:47:24.000 No, I don't think about them at all.

02:47:26.000 Not concerned about them, right?

02:47:27.000 So we're concerned about the women.

02:47:29.000 Is that...

02:47:30.000 Wait for it.

02:47:32.000 Because we're sexist?

02:47:33.000 Are we putting standards on the females that we don't put on the males because we don't think the women can handle it?

02:47:41.000 Or we don't think they can make that choice?

02:47:43.000 We don't think that they should be allowed to make that choice?

02:47:45.000 Or if they do make that choice, we think there has to be something wrong with them and they need to be protected?

02:47:49.000 Whereas we don't have those feelings about a man?

02:47:51.000 Right.

02:47:52.000 I just know that so, I think that when you're thinking about what leads you to that place, there's a high probability that some man did something awful to that place.

02:48:03.000 Girl when she was young.

02:48:05.000 That's such a high percentage of people that have had...

02:48:09.000 All women have had to deal with some creepo at some point in their life.

02:48:13.000 For sure.

02:48:14.000 And so I think it's built on that.

02:48:16.000 It's like, well, you know, I'd rather help her in some other way than watch these porn.

02:48:22.000 So is that something we inherently know?

02:48:25.000 And how do we know that?

02:48:26.000 Yeah, because men are big and aggressive and can do...

02:48:30.000 No, no, no.

02:48:30.000 That's not what I'm saying.

02:48:31.000 When you see someone that's in porn, do we inherently know that they've been molested?

02:48:35.000 Do we just know?

02:48:37.000 We don't know.

02:48:38.000 We don't.

02:48:38.000 But have we investigated it?

02:48:41.000 There is a high percentage of women that do porn.

02:48:44.000 This is a fact.

02:48:45.000 That have been sexually molested.

02:48:46.000 What I'm saying is your distaste for it, is it based on the knowledge of that, or is this an inherent perception that a woman who would do that must be damaged, so something must have had happened to her when she was younger that was awful, otherwise she wouldn't be doing this?

02:49:01.000 Well, it's like going to a strip club and probably 80% of the guys are just seeing somebody dancing and 20% of the guys are thinking, wait, you shouldn't be doing this.

02:49:14.000 You know what I mean?

02:49:15.000 I don't think- 20% at strip clubs?

02:49:17.000 I don't know.

02:49:18.000 Maybe higher.

02:49:21.000 I just feel like...

02:49:22.000 You know what I mean?

02:49:23.000 I think we're able to...

02:49:24.000 I'm sorry to cut you off, but I think human beings are able to not see everything that they want to see because they're enjoying what's before them.

02:49:32.000 I think you're right for sure.

02:49:34.000 We definitely make rationalizations.

02:49:36.000 Right.

02:49:36.000 But I'm wondering, like, why, if it's a man, we don't have any...

02:49:39.000 I guess it's because we don't think of a man of being...

02:49:42.000 You know, if a guy is an object of sexual desire for women, we don't think of him as a victim, ever.

02:49:49.000 I know, which is unfortunate because there are a lot of things happen to young boys, you know?

02:49:54.000 Well, did you hear about this guy that's suing Katy Perry?

02:49:56.000 You about the song?

02:49:57.000 No, no.

02:49:58.000 She says, maybe he's not suing her, but he's accusing her of sexual assault, what he's calling sexual assault.

02:50:03.000 She pulled down his sweatpants and exposed his dick to some people.

02:50:06.000 Oh, right.

02:50:08.000 Right.

02:50:08.000 And then that knee-jerk reaction is, well, you're a dude, you would love Katy Perry pulling your pants off.

02:50:14.000 Yeah.

02:50:15.000 Right?

02:50:16.000 But maybe he was really hurt by it.

02:50:18.000 Who knows?

02:50:18.000 Maybe he needs to grow a pair.

02:50:20.000 How about that?

02:50:21.000 I love Katy Perry.

02:50:22.000 Yeah, what the fuck's the problem?

02:50:23.000 She pulls your pants down?

02:50:25.000 I don't get it.

02:50:26.000 Everybody gets to see your dick.

02:50:27.000 Even when I was a young boy, there wasn't like...

02:50:30.000 Sounds to me like Katy Perry's trying to fuck.

02:50:34.000 You leave Katy Perry...

02:50:36.000 Is that what you think she was doing?

02:50:37.000 No, sounds like she pantsed him.

02:50:39.000 For fun.

02:50:40.000 Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

02:50:42.000 Lucy's sweatpants.

02:50:42.000 Right.

02:50:42.000 Now, if that was a guy doing it to a girl, I would say that is sexual assault.

02:50:47.000 Yes.

02:50:47.000 But think of it very differently.

02:50:48.000 I would too.

02:50:49.000 If a guy was there and a girl bent over in front of a bunch of guys to pick up her keys and someone pantsed her and her vagina was exposed to all these strangers, I would say, that guy's a piece of shit.

02:50:57.000 Like, imagine if that was your daughter or your wife, right?

02:51:00.000 Some guy pulls your wife's fucking sweatpants down in front of a crew of people.

02:51:04.000 Yeah.

02:51:05.000 Because I think we see men as a threat.

02:51:07.000 As a physical threat.

02:51:08.000 Right.

02:51:08.000 But if Katy Perry does it to a guy, I'm like, ha ha ha.

02:51:11.000 Yeah, I know.

02:51:14.000 Yeah.

02:51:15.000 If I was a judge, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

02:51:17.000 Without explaining it or coming up for reasons why, that is the knee-jerk reaction.

02:51:20.000 A woman got arrested in New Jersey.

02:51:22.000 She blew a 14-year-old boy.

02:51:25.000 They gave her a 10-year, like a suspended sentence.

02:51:31.000 She's on 10-year probation, no jail time, and she keeps her teaching certificate.

02:51:36.000 Yeah.

02:51:38.000 Oh, really?

02:51:39.000 Yes.

02:51:39.000 She was allowed to keep her certificate?

02:51:41.000 Stop blowing kids, you crazy bitch.

02:51:44.000 She probably blew the cop, blew the judge.

02:51:46.000 Oh, God.

02:51:47.000 That's my thought on that, always, is if a woman's willing to blow a 14-year-old, she'll blow you, too.

02:51:52.000 That girl's fucking crazy.

02:51:54.000 She just loves sucking dick.

02:51:56.000 Oh, my God.

02:51:58.000 You could talk her into it.

02:52:00.000 It's all too much.

02:52:00.000 As long as she's got standards.

02:52:01.000 I mean, I think every cop that arrests a lady who blows 14-year-olds, Every cop thinks she'll suck his dick, too.

02:52:08.000 Right?

02:52:08.000 Don't you think?

02:52:09.000 They're crazy.

02:52:10.000 It's a crazy woman.

02:52:11.000 Yeah.

02:52:12.000 Well...

02:52:13.000 You don't think so?

02:52:14.000 Do I think she's crazy?

02:52:15.000 Yes.

02:52:16.000 For sure.

02:52:16.000 But it's not a scary crazy.

02:52:18.000 It doesn't scare me.

02:52:19.000 No, there's something, you know, look, there's a lot of different ways to be damaged, right?

02:52:24.000 And that's her damage.

02:52:26.000 But what I'm saying is, like, that's not her.

02:52:28.000 What is she doing?

02:52:29.000 She's a grown adult.

02:52:30.000 See how even you're looking at that.

02:52:32.000 There's a lot of different ways to be damaged.

02:52:33.000 But if that was a grown man having sex with a 14-year-old girl, you wouldn't worry about what fucking damage he has.

02:52:38.000 You'd be worrying about what damage he's doing.

02:52:40.000 See, even in that situation, you're worried about her being damaged.

02:52:43.000 I'm not worried about her being damaged.

02:52:45.000 But you know what I'm saying?

02:52:45.000 But that's what you said.

02:52:46.000 Right.

02:52:47.000 Right.

02:52:47.000 What you were thinking about was her being damaged.

02:52:49.000 Right.

02:52:50.000 Not her victimizing the boy.

02:52:53.000 Right.

02:52:53.000 Because we don't think of it that way.

02:52:55.000 No, I know.

02:52:55.000 I know.

02:52:56.000 Like, right.

02:52:57.000 I mean, these stories started coming out when we were younger.

02:53:00.000 They've always existed.

02:53:01.000 I know.

02:53:02.000 And it was always like, you know, with your buddies, it was like, oh, I wish my Spanish teacher did that.

02:53:07.000 You know?

02:53:08.000 There's been freaks throughout history.

02:53:10.000 Yeah.

02:53:10.000 Crazy women that blow boys from as long as time memorial.

02:53:14.000 Yeah.

02:53:15.000 Is that the word?

02:53:15.000 Time memorial?

02:53:16.000 You don't say it that way.

02:53:17.000 Time in memoriam.

02:53:18.000 Memoriam.

02:53:20.000 Yeah, sexuality is such a weird, bizarre thing.

02:53:23.000 That's why they have to make all these laws about it, you know, to keep some, again, back to the guidebook, right?

02:53:30.000 I was reading about a country, I think, fuck, there was, I want to say, is it Kashmir?

02:53:39.000 Google this.

02:53:40.000 That 20% of all marriages start with kidnapping, right?

02:53:49.000 Yes.

02:53:49.000 20% of marriages in that country.

02:53:52.000 There's a country where 20% of all marriages start today.

02:53:57.000 With a kidnapping.

02:53:58.000 Today!

02:53:59.000 Not in the 1200s.

02:54:01.000 Not during the Genghis Khan administration.

02:54:04.000 Is it like prom?

02:54:05.000 No, they just kidnap women and then they're forced to marry their kidnappers so they don't get shamed.

02:54:11.000 Oh man.

02:54:12.000 Google 20% Of all marriages begin with kidnapping.

02:54:19.000 Just Google that.

02:54:21.000 Google that.

02:54:22.000 That sentence.

02:54:23.000 Not the weirdest thing that's ever been Googled.

02:54:25.000 That's a fucking crazy statistic, if I remember it correctly.

02:54:29.000 That is crazy.

02:54:30.000 I think I wrote it down somewhere.

02:54:32.000 I'll pull out my laptop.

02:54:33.000 Did you find it?

02:54:36.000 Headline, one in five girls and women kidnapped for marriage in Kyrgyzstan.

02:54:41.000 Kyrgyzstan, there it is.

02:54:42.000 One in five.

02:54:44.000 Where is Kashmir?

02:54:45.000 Kashmir is Pakistan.

02:54:46.000 Besides the Led Zeppelin song.

02:54:48.000 Dun, dun, dun.

02:54:49.000 Dun, dun, dun.

02:54:50.000 So it's only Kyrgyzstan?

02:54:52.000 According to a study published, yeah.

02:54:55.000 That spot.

02:54:55.000 But see...

02:54:57.000 Brideknapping also occurs in places like Armenia, Ethiopia, Kazakhstan, South Africa, and particularly common rural parts of Central Asian country.

02:55:06.000 Kidnapping.

02:55:06.000 Just grabbing people.

02:55:07.000 Grabbing people and making them marry you.

02:55:09.000 Jeez Louise.

02:55:10.000 They're still doing that.

02:55:11.000 In 2019. But just stop and think about one out of five.

02:55:17.000 And that's with them trying to keep it on the down low.

02:55:19.000 So what was it 100 years ago?

02:55:22.000 100%.

02:55:22.000 Right?

02:55:23.000 100%.

02:55:23.000 Nobody ever got married.

02:55:24.000 Everybody just raped...

02:55:26.000 There's a thing called groom kidnapping that also happens where the eligible bachelors are abducted by a bride's family and forced to marry.

02:55:33.000 Oh, Christ.

02:55:35.000 Oh, my God.

02:55:36.000 These people are living like movie characters.

02:55:38.000 So weird.

02:55:39.000 This is happening today.

02:55:40.000 Yeah.

02:55:41.000 We are so fortunate.

02:55:43.000 God.

02:55:44.000 Yeah.

02:55:45.000 Here, well, not just us, but people in the Western world.

02:55:49.000 What?

02:55:49.000 What do you say?

02:55:50.000 In 2009, in this place, in Bihar, B-I-H-A-R, 1,224 kidnappings for marriage were reported.

02:55:59.000 Oh, my God.

02:56:00.000 In one year.

02:56:01.000 In one year.

02:56:02.000 1,200 kidnappings for marriage.

02:56:05.000 How many people live there?

02:56:06.000 1,259.

02:56:08.000 Good Lord.

02:56:11.000 Everyone's just getting kidnapped.

02:56:14.000 That's horrible.

02:56:16.000 Dude, imagine that.

02:56:17.000 That is fucking horrible.

02:56:19.000 Men are damaged.

02:56:20.000 Well, in that part of the world, they have a long tradition of doing creepy shit with women.

02:56:26.000 That is one of the weird things about history.

02:56:28.000 The further you go back in history, the worse women are treated.

02:56:30.000 Right.

02:56:31.000 You know?

02:56:31.000 Universally.

02:56:34.000 Say that again?

02:56:35.000 The further you go back in history, the worse women are treated.

02:56:40.000 They're treated worse.

02:56:41.000 The further you go back in history.

02:56:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:56:43.000 Of course.

02:56:44.000 I mean, what's the original image that we always got of caveman and cavewoman?

02:56:48.000 Right.

02:56:49.000 Dragging her over the head, dragging her by her hair.

02:56:51.000 Dragging her by her hair.

02:56:52.000 Right, exactly.

02:56:53.000 Why do we know that archetype?

02:56:54.000 Yeah.

02:56:55.000 Why do we know that archetype?

02:56:56.000 That's a weird one.

02:56:57.000 Yeah.

02:56:58.000 Hitting her in the head and dragging her by her hair.

02:56:59.000 Where are we getting that from?

02:57:01.000 Right, just taking, because it's how it went down, I guess.

02:57:03.000 Right, but why do you and I know that same image?

02:57:05.000 You watch the same cartoons.

02:57:06.000 Is that what it was?

02:57:07.000 Yeah.

02:57:07.000 Mine's a cartoon image of it.

02:57:09.000 Right.

02:57:10.000 But why did that cartoon image, why did that become so prevalent?

02:57:14.000 That we both, like, where'd you grow up?

02:57:15.000 New Jersey.

02:57:17.000 I lived there too.

02:57:18.000 So maybe we both got it from the same part of the world.

02:57:20.000 Yeah, maybe we both watched Zoom.

02:57:22.000 And then it was Boston when I was older and San Francisco.

02:57:25.000 But that was a thing you thought of when you thought of cavemen.

02:57:28.000 You thought of the man clubbing the lady over the head and dragging her by her hair.

02:57:31.000 It was crazy.

02:57:33.000 Men have a long way to go.

02:57:35.000 Sure.

02:57:35.000 A long way to go.

02:57:37.000 The hangups that men have over women that turn into violence is still, at this late date in our human development, is still batshit crazy.

02:57:48.000 There is such a violent...

02:57:51.000 They don't understand how to even be around women.

02:57:54.000 They don't understand when they're rejected by women.

02:57:56.000 And it all culminates still in such a violent...

02:58:00.000 Nature.

02:58:01.000 It's bizarre.

02:58:02.000 Wasn't that what happened to the guy who owned the stand?

02:58:05.000 I don't know what happened.

02:58:07.000 I know...

02:58:08.000 What I understand from what's been explained to me, that the ex-husband of his au pair came to kill her.

02:58:16.000 And he was there and wound up killing him, too.

02:58:19.000 So he was just coming...

02:58:20.000 Find out if that's true.

02:58:22.000 I don't know what the whole story was, but apparently, I didn't know him well, but apparently it was super well liked.

02:58:28.000 Awful.

02:58:28.000 I know, he was a nice guy.

02:58:29.000 I met him a couple times.

02:58:31.000 Terrible.

02:58:31.000 Maplewood, New Jersey.

02:58:32.000 It's, you know, a man.

02:58:34.000 But man, again, men going crazy.

02:58:37.000 If that is the case, if that's the story, a man trying to kill his ex-wife or killing his ex-wife.

02:58:42.000 It's just like, man, talk about lack of guidebook.

02:58:45.000 Nobody teaches young men, frustrated men.

02:58:48.000 That's the story?

02:58:50.000 So, I was correct.

02:58:51.000 I was accurate.

02:58:52.000 It says...

02:58:55.000 Dad of two.

02:58:58.000 So awful.

02:59:04.000 Yeah.

02:59:12.000 Wow.

02:59:13.000 So there's nothing going on between the nanny and him.

02:59:17.000 Fuck.

02:59:19.000 Man, man.

02:59:21.000 Stabbed an au pair and her boss.

02:59:25.000 Horrible.

02:59:27.000 Yeah.

02:59:28.000 Hey, man.

02:59:28.000 Nobody teaches these men how to be a man.

02:59:31.000 Right.

02:59:32.000 How to curb those appetites and deal with it and put your violence towards something else.

02:59:39.000 It's still a big hole.

02:59:42.000 Also, they were saying Colombian.

02:59:43.000 She was Colombian.

02:59:45.000 I don't know if she's from Colombian, if he was from Colombia, too.

02:59:48.000 I mean, look...

02:59:49.000 Every culture all around the world.

02:59:51.000 But extreme violence in a lot of parts of South America and certain places, you know?

02:59:56.000 Yeah.

02:59:57.000 A lot here.

02:59:58.000 I mean, it's everywhere.

02:59:59.000 Anywhere there's dudes, they get frustrated and they snap.

03:00:01.000 Yeah, but more so.

03:00:03.000 More so in a lot of places in South America.

03:00:06.000 Mm-hmm.

03:00:07.000 You know, in some areas that are like, you know, I had this guy on who's an expert in Mexico.

03:00:14.000 He worked in the, Ed Calderon, he worked dealing with cartels and for the Mexican government.

03:00:22.000 And, you know, the stories that this guy would tell you about the violence that's happening in Mexico is fucking terrible.

03:00:27.000 Terrifying.

03:00:28.000 Really?

03:00:29.000 And how many kids grow up sort of enamored with this cartel life and get drawn into it and sucked into it and these people wind up taking people to kill people and showing them how to cut people up and getting them accustomed to doing it.

03:00:42.000 Oh my God.

03:00:42.000 Yeah.

03:00:43.000 And they seem so normal when you meet them and then you realize that they're literally training kids to murder people and chop them up.

03:00:49.000 And you're like, what?

03:00:50.000 Yeah.

03:00:51.000 Yeah.

03:00:51.000 It's dark out there.

03:00:53.000 So if you fuck that guy's au pair, or rather if you live with that guy's...

03:00:59.000 Or if she just decided to leave him.

03:01:00.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody's saying that he was having an affair.

03:01:04.000 But if the guy thought he was, because the guy was, you know...

03:01:07.000 If you're a man and you're...

03:01:10.000 Ex-wife is living in a house, and there's a man in the house.

03:01:13.000 You assume...

03:01:14.000 Like, if you're a piece of shit, you assume that they're having an affair, even if they aren't.

03:01:17.000 Yeah.

03:01:18.000 Right?

03:01:18.000 And you would just...

03:01:19.000 If you were trying to kill her, you'd probably try to kill him, too.

03:01:21.000 Or maybe he was trying to kill her, and the other guy just happened to be there.

03:01:26.000 And he killed him, too.

03:01:27.000 Either way, that guy went to the house with the idea, I'm going to kill.

03:01:30.000 My point was, like, if you have a dangerous person like that, and that dangerous person is trying to...

03:01:36.000 Go and get his ex-wife and kill her and you have to get caught in the cross fairs.

03:01:41.000 With a knife, right?

03:01:42.000 Yeah, it's terrible.

03:01:43.000 Awful.

03:01:43.000 Horrible.

03:01:44.000 So terrible.

03:01:45.000 Horrible.

03:01:46.000 Be careful out there, kids.

03:01:47.000 Be kind to each other.

03:01:49.000 I know.

03:01:49.000 Be nice.

03:01:50.000 That's the other thing about the way the world really works.

03:01:52.000 You have to recognize there are really people like that out there.

03:01:55.000 A ton.

03:01:56.000 That's a real thing.

03:01:57.000 Yes.

03:01:58.000 Yes.

03:01:59.000 Yes.

03:02:00.000 Yeah.

03:02:02.000 You have to be aware.

03:02:04.000 You can't be naive that this stuff doesn't exist.

03:02:07.000 You can't pretend that it's not around.

03:02:10.000 No.

03:02:11.000 Yeah, but how do you defend against something like that, right?

03:02:14.000 If you don't know how to fight?

03:02:16.000 And even if you do, someone comes out with a knife.

03:02:19.000 Yeah, your back is turned.

03:02:20.000 Yeah.

03:02:20.000 You know.

03:02:21.000 Yeah.

03:02:22.000 Who knows?

03:02:23.000 Right.

03:02:23.000 A lot of it's left to chance.

03:02:26.000 Fucking such a horrible way to leave this world.

03:02:29.000 Someone's stabbing you.

03:02:30.000 Draining out.

03:02:32.000 Terrible.

03:02:33.000 Someone's trying to get back at his ex-wife.

03:02:36.000 Stabbing you.

03:02:37.000 Yeah, you're sitting there in your nice little house.

03:02:38.000 You're running a comedy club.

03:02:40.000 Just having a nice time.

03:02:41.000 People laughing.

03:02:42.000 You're managing some other comedians.

03:02:45.000 You're making your way.

03:02:46.000 You've got your wife and your kids.

03:02:48.000 You're providing for them.

03:02:49.000 You have no idea that morning when you wake up and making coffee what's headed your way.

03:02:57.000 Horrible.

03:02:58.000 Have you had someone close to you get murdered before?

03:03:03.000 No.

03:03:04.000 Not close to me.

03:03:06.000 Closest to me was Phil Hartman.

03:03:08.000 His wife shot him and then shot herself.

03:03:11.000 Right.

03:03:13.000 It's terrible.

03:03:14.000 Yeah.

03:03:15.000 Do you think there's ever going to be a time when there's no violence?

03:03:18.000 No violence?

03:03:19.000 We evolve past this to some new thing.

03:03:22.000 I don't know if we evolve because there's so many people.

03:03:25.000 Do you think we're going to evolve?

03:03:26.000 Not to that.

03:03:27.000 It would take eons.

03:03:30.000 We're still like...

03:03:31.000 Do you think there's too many of us?

03:03:32.000 Yeah, there's so many parts of the globe are still, you know, way behind.

03:03:37.000 I think it would have to be like put in the water or something.

03:03:40.000 Like we'd have to medicate it out of us.

03:03:42.000 That's a real interesting perspective, right?

03:03:44.000 Because amongst us...

03:03:47.000 Amongst the people that we know, what are the odds that we could get through this life with no violence?

03:03:53.000 Say if we all, all the people that we knew, we all lived together.

03:03:56.000 I would bet a lot of money nobody would murder anybody.

03:03:59.000 So what happens when you get from that to large groups of people, and then you get to large groups of people like, you're talking about Kyrgyzstan, where one out of five women gets fucking kidnapped.

03:04:12.000 That's how marriages get started.

03:04:14.000 They're wild and out there.

03:04:16.000 They're living crazy.

03:04:18.000 Or, what is that one city that...

03:04:25.000 There's one city in Pakistan.

03:04:27.000 Is it Karachi?

03:04:28.000 What is that city?

03:04:29.000 Why can't I remember the name?

03:04:31.000 Is that it?

03:04:33.000 That was one of the cities that...

03:04:36.000 Shane Smith from Vice was saying it was one of the most terrifying places on earth.

03:04:40.000 Oh, yeah.

03:04:41.000 The sheer cheapness of murder, how cheap it is to get someone murdered over there.

03:04:46.000 Oh, really?

03:04:47.000 And how much murder and crime goes on over there.

03:04:49.000 Oh, God.

03:04:49.000 Just a totally different metric for how you view the world.

03:04:53.000 Totally different perception of what life is worth and what life is like and what kind of violence you have to deal with on a daily basis.

03:05:00.000 Oh, God.

03:05:00.000 I know.

03:05:01.000 There's a lot of very dark places.

03:05:03.000 That's why I don't like to travel.

03:05:05.000 You don't like travel at all?

03:05:06.000 I do like to travel, but I'm starting to cross off a bunch of places.

03:05:11.000 That's your sketch?

03:05:12.000 Yeah.

03:05:13.000 Between getting parasites that make you have to poop in a bag and send to your doctor, or ending up in real violent places that don't have the same kind of...

03:05:24.000 Rules that we do.

03:05:25.000 My friend Justin Wren, who runs Fight for the Forgotten Charity.

03:05:29.000 I was just wearing his shirt at the beach yesterday.

03:05:31.000 Oh, were you?

03:05:32.000 That's awesome.

03:05:32.000 The best guy ever.

03:05:34.000 He has a new intestinal parasite that's draining him.

03:05:38.000 He doesn't know what the fuck it is.

03:05:40.000 Yeah, he's got something that he caught when he was over there.

03:05:43.000 Oh, no.

03:05:44.000 That's what I'm afraid of.

03:05:45.000 He's really sick.

03:05:46.000 Is he really?

03:05:47.000 Yeah, he's really sick.

03:05:47.000 Is he going to be okay?

03:05:48.000 I don't know.

03:05:49.000 They're going to have to, hopefully...

03:05:51.000 Identify it.

03:05:52.000 Yeah, they have to figure out what it is.

03:05:54.000 Figure out how he got it.

03:05:55.000 Figure out what's going on.

03:05:57.000 That's no joke.

03:05:58.000 What happened in the Dominican Republic?

03:05:59.000 Didn't they...

03:06:00.000 People died because they were drinking from the minibar?

03:06:02.000 Did you hear that story?

03:06:04.000 Yes.

03:06:06.000 There's a lot of sketch...

03:06:07.000 Yeah.

03:06:08.000 They were saying that people were putting stuff in the minibar that wasn't actually alcohol...

03:06:11.000 Yeah.

03:06:12.000 The story that I had heard was that they would put cheap substitutes for whatever the alcohol was supposed to be so that people would pay for it and then they would steal the actual liquor and replace it with something else and then people would drink it and it was like poisonous.

03:06:26.000 And they were dying.

03:06:26.000 People really died.

03:06:27.000 Yeah.

03:06:28.000 Yeah.

03:06:29.000 Oh, that's terrible.

03:06:29.000 I hope he's okay.

03:06:30.000 I don't know what the actual story was.

03:06:31.000 But somebody else described it saying, like, one thing is you concentrate on statistics.

03:06:35.000 And I don't know if this is true.

03:06:37.000 We should find out.

03:06:38.000 But if you concentrate on statistics, then it seems like a lot of people die in the Dominican Republic when they were over there.

03:06:44.000 But the reality is that it's just the way we're looking at it because we've chosen to start focusing on people who die over there.

03:06:50.000 But in fact, it's like commensurate with people that die over here when they're on vacation.

03:06:55.000 Right.

03:06:55.000 But...

03:06:58.000 Only a certain number go to that resort, you know what I mean, in a year.

03:07:01.000 It was more than one resort, I believe.

03:07:02.000 It was?

03:07:03.000 Yeah, I think so.

03:07:05.000 Well, a lot of people go to the Dominican, not now, but a lot of people were going.

03:07:09.000 I was there last year.

03:07:10.000 Were you?

03:07:10.000 Yeah.

03:07:11.000 So would you go back after all this?

03:07:12.000 No.

03:07:13.000 First of all, I saw a story about a couple that went there and got hookworm in their feet.

03:07:18.000 Oh, you could definitely get that.

03:07:20.000 That, I was already like, maybe I'm not going back.

03:07:23.000 And now that you can't even drink from the mini bar, I'm like, you know what?

03:07:26.000 There's nice places in Laguna Beach.

03:07:28.000 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Laguna.

03:07:31.000 Did you know that Hookworm is responsible for the stereotype of the southern dummy?

03:07:40.000 No.

03:07:40.000 Yeah.

03:07:41.000 What do you mean?

03:07:42.000 People walking around the South barefoot were getting hookworm en masse, and hookworm has a detrimental effect on your ability to think.

03:07:52.000 Oh.

03:07:53.000 Yeah, it literally compromises your mental ability.

03:07:56.000 It makes you dumber.

03:07:58.000 So like the trope of like a hillbilly walking around?

03:08:01.000 Exactly.

03:08:01.000 Really?

03:08:02.000 Yep, yep.

03:08:02.000 Oh, weird!

03:08:03.000 Yep, yep.

03:08:04.000 Hookworm.

03:08:05.000 Did we find out about that from Peter Hotez?

03:08:07.000 Is that who told us that?

03:08:09.000 That is weird.

03:08:10.000 How a worm gave the South a bad name.

03:08:13.000 Oh my god.

03:08:14.000 Yeah.

03:08:14.000 Hookworms once sapped the American South of its health, and few realize that they continue to afflict millions.

03:08:21.000 Jeez.

03:08:22.000 Yeah.

03:08:22.000 Ugh.

03:08:23.000 He looks so creepy.

03:08:24.000 It fucks with the way you think.

03:08:25.000 Ugh.

03:08:26.000 Makes you tired.

03:08:27.000 Gives you fatigue.

03:08:29.000 This podcast has turned very dark.

03:08:51.000 All gazed out dully from sunken sockets with a telltale fisheye stare.

03:08:57.000 That is the stereotype of people from the South.

03:09:00.000 And we just always thought they're just living in hot weather and they're just stupid.

03:09:04.000 But what it really was was fucking hookworm.

03:09:08.000 Ew!

03:09:09.000 Isn't that amazing?

03:09:10.000 This podcast started off, we were having fun, we were talking about judo.

03:09:16.000 The culprit behind the germ of laziness, as the South's affliction was sometimes called, was Necator Americanis, the American Murderer, better known as the hookworm.

03:09:28.000 It's called the American Murderer.

03:09:29.000 Are they still out there?

03:09:30.000 Millions of those blood-sucking parasites lived, yeah, for sure, and died within the guts of up to 40% of the population.

03:09:38.000 Stretching from southeastern Texas to West Virginia.

03:09:41.000 Can you imagine 40% of the population of the South in these places from Texas to West Virginia was infected?

03:09:50.000 40% of the population with a fucking worm that makes you dumb.

03:09:55.000 I'm never going anywhere ever again.

03:09:57.000 Isn't that incredible?

03:09:59.000 That's insane.

03:10:00.000 But that's what the stereotype came from.

03:10:02.000 Wow.

03:10:03.000 How wild.

03:10:04.000 Fucking crazy.

03:10:05.000 That's insane.

03:10:07.000 Now, how many people are getting, right now, getting Lyme disease?

03:10:11.000 And Lyme disease, although it doesn't make you lazy, it wrecks your health.

03:10:15.000 Wrecks your health.

03:10:15.000 Devastates your health.

03:10:16.000 For years.

03:10:16.000 Yep.

03:10:17.000 For years.

03:10:17.000 That shit is happening right now on the East Coast.

03:10:19.000 It's all over the East Coast.

03:10:21.000 My kids were back there working on a farm over the summer, and my daughter had a tick on her.

03:10:26.000 We freaked out.

03:10:27.000 Mmm, should freak out.

03:10:29.000 Yeah.

03:10:29.000 You got to get it off before 24 hours.

03:10:31.000 Yeah.

03:10:32.000 But also, if you do get infected, you have to get on antibiotics really quickly.

03:10:37.000 Super fast.

03:10:38.000 There's a woman who wrote a book about Lyme disease possibly being a military biological weapon that accidentally was released.

03:10:49.000 Really?

03:10:50.000 Yeah.

03:10:51.000 Apparently this is a popular thought, that there's something about Lyme disease that Lyme disease doesn't necessarily make sense.

03:11:00.000 How quickly it came from this one area, like this Lyme, Connecticut area, and how rapidly it spread, and how devastating its impact was, and There is, apparently, there has been some research that's been,

03:11:15.000 well, not some, quite a bit of research that's done on various biological weapons and various distribution methods.

03:11:22.000 And one of the thoughts of a lot of these distribution methods is infecting bugs.

03:11:28.000 Infecting bugs with some designer disease.

03:11:32.000 And then infecting the population.

03:11:34.000 Like if you release the bugs on this area that you wanted to attack.

03:11:38.000 Like at a certain point in time.

03:11:40.000 Uh-huh.

03:11:40.000 And you infected giant chunks of the population.

03:11:43.000 Right.

03:11:44.000 Then you would be able to go back there ten years later and everybody would be fucked.

03:11:48.000 Wow.

03:11:49.000 Yeah, but this is something that biological diseases, whether it's anthrax, like things along those lines.

03:11:56.000 Yeah, terrifying.

03:11:57.000 But they've made those.

03:11:58.000 Yeah.

03:11:58.000 Forever.

03:11:59.000 You know, they've had that and people have been aware of that forever.

03:12:02.000 Yeah.

03:12:03.000 But the idea of it being something that's in a bug and that can infect you.

03:12:06.000 Jeez Louise, that's terrifying.

03:12:08.000 It's terrifying.

03:12:08.000 Yeah.

03:12:09.000 Are you trying to make it that I don't go out of my house?

03:12:13.000 Trying to freak you out, bro.

03:12:15.000 No, it's weird.

03:12:16.000 I don't remember being around when we were kids on the East Coast.

03:12:20.000 It was not around.

03:12:21.000 And I think it took a while for anybody to figure out what the fuck it was.

03:12:24.000 How about the new mosquitoes that we have?

03:12:26.000 Yes.

03:12:27.000 We never had these mosquitoes before.

03:12:29.000 There's a recent case of a horrible disease breaking out in the East Coast.

03:12:34.000 I think somewhere in Massachusetts, there is some horrible mosquito-borne disease.

03:12:40.000 What does that thing say about the ticks, about Lyme disease?

03:12:44.000 What is the book?

03:12:47.000 It's called Bitten.

03:12:48.000 Yes, that's it.

03:12:49.000 By Chris Newby, K, with K-R-I-S, Chris.

03:12:53.000 Is that a man or a woman?

03:12:54.000 It's a woman, I believe.

03:12:55.000 Yeah, she discovered circumstantial evidence linking the outbreak of Lyme disease in the 1960s to the U.S. military.

03:13:01.000 Some people say this is bullshit, but some people say it's just conspiracy theory.

03:13:04.000 Who's some people?

03:13:05.000 Put up the article so we can see it.

03:13:07.000 It's the middle of it.

03:13:08.000 Okay, spread it out so I can see it.

03:13:12.000 Scroll down.

03:13:14.000 Go back up.

03:13:16.000 Stop.

03:13:17.000 The DOD takes extreme care of all of its research programs to ensure the protection of our personnel and the community.

03:13:23.000 What is that?

03:13:24.000 When Smith announced his amendment...

03:13:26.000 Okay, this is too much there.

03:13:28.000 It says, there's just too much evidence for a reasonable man or woman to just turn the page and say, put on your tinfoil hat, this is just a conspiracy theory, Smith said.

03:13:36.000 And yet people with credentials will say that, which begs the question, why would they even say that?

03:13:42.000 Chris Newby wrote the book, Bitten, said she discovered circumstantial evidence linking the outbreak of Lyme disease in the 1960s.

03:13:50.000 That's what you said from the U.S. military.

03:13:52.000 As proof, Newby cites an interview that she had with Will Berg-Dolfer, the American scientist who discovered what causes Lyme disease, who told her shortly before his death that he had been instructed to keep his research Oh,

03:14:16.000 my hypothesis is that was the biological weapon they were trying to cover up, said Newby, a science writer at the Stanford School of Medicine in California.

03:14:25.000 I don't believe it.

03:14:28.000 Seems like a lot of malarkey.

03:14:30.000 She said, I can't connect the dots right now.

03:14:32.000 Says Newby, who survived Lyme disease.

03:14:34.000 My theory is that it was a genetically engineered Rickettsia bacteria.

03:14:41.000 But as a journalist, I can't prove that.

03:14:43.000 So what is she saying then?

03:14:44.000 She's just pulling stuff out.

03:14:46.000 She wrote a book.

03:14:47.000 She wrote a book.

03:14:47.000 Yeah.

03:14:48.000 I ain't buying it.

03:14:49.000 But that's not to say, that does worry me more than anything.

03:14:53.000 I think she's a hoser.

03:14:54.000 I don't know her personally, but...

03:14:56.000 If you had a guess.

03:14:57.000 Probably.

03:14:57.000 But I think that...

03:14:58.000 Can I bet your bread?

03:15:00.000 Yeah.

03:15:01.000 I would never give her my bread.

03:15:04.000 That scares me more than anything, though.

03:15:06.000 It should scare you.

03:15:07.000 A plague of some sort.

03:15:09.000 I always feel like we should be keeping some medicine in the house.

03:15:14.000 Plague medicine?

03:15:15.000 Yeah.

03:15:16.000 Like what kind?

03:15:16.000 I don't know.

03:15:18.000 Tetracycline?

03:15:18.000 Is that good for plague?

03:15:20.000 I don't know.

03:15:23.000 I figure you gotta take something.

03:15:25.000 What the hell could be good for plague?

03:15:26.000 Depends what the plague is.

03:15:27.000 Really?

03:15:27.000 If it's a flu, there's certain things you can take.

03:15:30.000 If it's...

03:15:32.000 Crazy war bugs?

03:15:34.000 Probably nothing.

03:15:35.000 But there's so many people, and it's so gross, and you can see how people are just coughing in the airports without covering their mouths.

03:15:43.000 That's going to happen.

03:15:44.000 There's a story I was reading this morning, Jamie, about mosquito-borne illness in Massachusetts.

03:15:50.000 Some new, some like Legionnaire's disease type deal.

03:15:53.000 Oh, jeez.

03:15:54.000 We have these nasty mosquitoes here in Los Angeles.

03:15:56.000 We're not supposed to have them.

03:15:57.000 Where are you getting these mosquitoes?

03:15:58.000 Around your neighborhood?

03:15:59.000 Yeah, in my house.

03:16:00.000 You might have a neighborhood with a full pool.

03:16:01.000 I know.

03:16:02.000 Sometimes neighbors don't take care of their pool.

03:16:04.000 I know.

03:16:05.000 That's bad.

03:16:06.000 It is bad.

03:16:07.000 They were saying, I read an article about it, they said even like a crumpled up chip bag...

03:16:11.000 Filled with water?

03:16:12.000 Yeah, it gets water from a sprinkler.

03:16:14.000 That's enough.

03:16:14.000 It's crazy.

03:16:15.000 And there are these black and white little guys and they just...

03:16:17.000 And they go from your knee down.

03:16:21.000 Dirty little bitches.

03:16:21.000 They're nasty.

03:16:22.000 We never had screens before in my house.

03:16:25.000 When I first moved to LA, I rented a house that someone had a pool in the backyard that they didn't take care of.

03:16:31.000 Really?

03:16:31.000 Like, really bad.

03:16:33.000 And when I got there, the pool was green, the water was green, and there was things swimming in it.

03:16:38.000 And I was like, what the fuck is that?

03:16:39.000 It was mosquito larvae.

03:16:41.000 Oh my god.

03:16:42.000 Yeah.

03:16:43.000 Yeah.

03:16:43.000 See?

03:16:43.000 So I had a contact.

03:16:45.000 Here it is.

03:16:46.000 Massachusetts confirmed human case of mosquito-borne virus.

03:16:50.000 First human case since 2013. Of EEE. What is that?

03:16:55.000 Scroll down so we can read that.

03:16:58.000 Equine encephalitis.

03:16:59.000 Equine encephalitis.

03:17:00.000 That's horse.

03:17:01.000 That's horse stuff.

03:17:03.000 The first human case since 2013. At least nine towns are at critical risk of exposure to a rare but potentially fatal virus that can cause brain swelling.

03:17:12.000 Oh, come on.

03:17:13.000 According to the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.

03:17:15.000 Fuck.

03:17:16.000 Dude, I remember when I was a kid.

03:17:18.000 Yeah.

03:17:19.000 Me and this chick made out in the woods and wound up taking our pants off and stuff.

03:17:23.000 Yeah.

03:17:24.000 Yeah.

03:17:24.000 And I got fucking lit up by mosquitoes so bad.

03:17:29.000 We had to stop fooling around.

03:17:30.000 I was like, this is crazy.

03:17:31.000 I mean, I had welts all over my leg.

03:17:34.000 It was crazy.

03:17:35.000 I was like, Jesus, this is what happens when you try to fool around in the woods.

03:17:38.000 God's punishing me.

03:17:40.000 Dude.

03:17:41.000 That's terrible.

03:17:42.000 In cold areas, the mosquitoes are way more aggressive.

03:17:44.000 Yes, I know.

03:17:46.000 The whole East Coast.

03:17:47.000 Maine, forget it.

03:17:48.000 Oh, Maine is the worst.

03:17:50.000 Canada's worst.

03:17:51.000 Brutal.

03:17:52.000 I've never seen mosquitoes like Alaska, though.

03:17:55.000 Alaskan misheaters are fucking bonkers.

03:17:57.000 Are they big?

03:17:58.000 They're huge, and they're super aggressive.

03:18:00.000 They don't have any time.

03:18:01.000 They come in, they move in quick.

03:18:03.000 They just swarm on you.

03:18:04.000 Yeah, this is what happens.

03:18:06.000 This is why I'm so aggravated.

03:18:08.000 L.A., we didn't have this.

03:18:11.000 It did not exist until a year ago.

03:18:13.000 I think it's your neighbor.

03:18:14.000 You don't have them by your house?

03:18:16.000 No.

03:18:17.000 Really?

03:18:18.000 I saw a bobcat fight with a rattlesnake, though.

03:18:21.000 See, that I can handle.

03:18:22.000 My buddy sent me a video.

03:18:23.000 I saw the line.

03:18:24.000 What'd you see?

03:18:25.000 In the middle of the street?

03:18:26.000 Yeah.

03:18:26.000 With a rattlesnake?

03:18:27.000 It was on Twitter.

03:18:27.000 Oh, was it on Twitter?

03:18:28.000 Yeah.

03:18:28.000 Who put it on Twitter?

03:18:29.000 I don't know.

03:18:30.000 My buddy got it from his neighbor who saw it happen.

03:18:34.000 Oh, wow.

03:18:35.000 Yeah, pull the one up.

03:18:36.000 Maybe it might be the same one.

03:18:37.000 A bobcat versus a rattlesnake?

03:18:40.000 Yeah.

03:18:40.000 That's a good fight.

03:18:41.000 Dude, the rattlesnake's a big fucking rattlesnake, too.

03:18:44.000 Bobcat's trying to eat it.

03:18:45.000 It's hard out there.

03:18:46.000 It's hot.

03:18:47.000 It's hard out there.

03:18:47.000 I know.

03:18:48.000 That's why the coyotes are eating cats.

03:18:50.000 Yeah, they'll just take whatever they can get.

03:18:52.000 I know.

03:18:52.000 Everyone's hungry.

03:18:53.000 It's hot.

03:18:53.000 You gotta get through this month.

03:18:55.000 But the thing about coyotes and cats, I think we can relay this to the thing about bears and deers that we're talking about in New Jersey.

03:19:01.000 Yeah.

03:19:02.000 You don't want all the bears dead because then there'll be so many fucking deers you'll be slamming into them with your cars.

03:19:08.000 Right.

03:19:09.000 You want some of them alive.

03:19:11.000 Right.

03:19:11.000 It's called management.

03:19:13.000 Yes.

03:19:13.000 And you gotta manage the fucking deer, too.

03:19:15.000 The thing about the deer, too, that's particularly offensive is when people are like, there's too many deer, what do we do?

03:19:23.000 They're made out of food.

03:19:25.000 Yeah, eat them.

03:19:25.000 Shoot them and eat them.

03:19:26.000 They're fucking delicious.

03:19:27.000 My brother-in-law does.

03:19:28.000 Does he?

03:19:29.000 Yeah.

03:19:29.000 He gets two or three, gets them put in the freezer, and that's their meat for the year.

03:19:34.000 Yeah.

03:19:35.000 In New Jersey.

03:19:36.000 What do you got, Jamie?

03:19:37.000 Yep, that's it.

03:19:38.000 That's it.

03:19:38.000 Look at this.

03:19:39.000 Whoa!

03:19:39.000 Yeah.

03:19:40.000 Look at that motherfucker.

03:19:42.000 He's like, bitch, what the fuck?

03:19:44.000 Oh, man.

03:19:45.000 I'm going to eat you.

03:19:46.000 Bitch, I'm going to fucking eat you.

03:19:48.000 He's trying to eat him.

03:19:49.000 He's trying to bite him.

03:19:50.000 Wow, he got him.

03:19:52.000 That doesn't look good.

03:19:53.000 That cat is goddamn good.

03:19:55.000 Wow, he got him.

03:19:56.000 He tried to bite him, but he didn't let it.

03:19:58.000 But look at his moves.

03:19:59.000 He's so relentless, too.

03:20:01.000 Yeah.

03:20:01.000 He just keeps going back at it.

03:20:03.000 Jeez.

03:20:04.000 It's hard out here in the West.

03:20:05.000 Yeah.

03:20:07.000 Pump cat's trying to eat a rattlesnake.

03:20:10.000 Fuck, man.

03:20:11.000 Yeah, it's tough.

03:20:12.000 There's a lot of nastiness going on.

03:20:13.000 It's the wild, wild west.

03:20:15.000 That singer I was telling you about got bit in the foot on his walk across the country, Mike Posner.

03:20:19.000 He's fucked up, right?

03:20:20.000 Yeah, he can't walk for weeks.

03:20:21.000 He's got to, like, relearn how to walk.

03:20:22.000 What?

03:20:23.000 From being bit by a rattler?

03:20:24.000 Yeah.

03:20:25.000 Wow, snakes can really hurt you bad, man.

03:20:27.000 Jeez, there's a lot of them out here.

03:20:29.000 They can cause your tissue to deteriorate.

03:20:32.000 It can cause necropsy.

03:20:35.000 It causes the death of tissue, like wherever the bite is, especially if you don't get it treated really quickly.

03:20:41.000 I've seen a guy who, I was looking at this picture online, this guy got bit, wound up going to the hospital, and his skin had rotted away where his bone was exposed.

03:20:50.000 Ah!

03:20:51.000 Yeah.

03:20:52.000 Over how long?

03:20:53.000 How much time?

03:20:53.000 I don't know.

03:20:54.000 I don't know, but he had a ton of skin grafts and operations to try to repair the area.

03:20:58.000 Oh my god.

03:20:59.000 Terrible.

03:21:00.000 Jeez.

03:21:00.000 Terrible, terrible stuff.

03:21:02.000 Alright, so don't go to the South.

03:21:04.000 Don't go to the Dominican Republic.

03:21:05.000 Don't go to Kazakhstan.

03:21:07.000 Don't go overseas.

03:21:09.000 Don't go in the woods.

03:21:10.000 But do go to Netflix radio at 7 in the morning listening to Tom Papa.

03:21:15.000 What a joke.

03:21:17.000 I'll do, if you want...

03:21:19.000 Well, we'll talk about it, but if you ever want to do the show, if you ever want to...

03:21:23.000 Are you doing it in the afternoon for me?

03:21:24.000 Yeah, of course.

03:21:25.000 Really?

03:21:25.000 Yeah, we'll do a whole thing with you.

03:21:26.000 I feel like a diva.

03:21:27.000 Well, you are.

03:21:28.000 People are like, I gotta work at 7. You fucking gotta work at 7. Well, that's the funny thing.

03:21:34.000 I was complaining about the hours.

03:21:35.000 I'm like, I'm on 7 o'clock till 9. My brother-in-law's like, dude, I wake up at 5.30, I drive an hour to work, I'm there till 6 at night, and then I drive two hours home.

03:21:46.000 So, boo-hoo, you get to go hang out and talk with Jerry Seinfeld for an hour.

03:21:53.000 Ridiculous.

03:21:54.000 We don't work that hard.

03:21:56.000 No, we do not work that hard.

03:21:58.000 Shout out to Tom Popo.

03:22:00.000 Thanks for bringing me in.

03:22:01.000 My pleasure, brother.

03:22:02.000 I'll hook you up with some elk after this.

03:22:03.000 Yeah, that'd be awesome.

03:22:04.000 Thank you so much.

03:22:05.000 You got any dates coming up?

03:22:06.000 Want to tell anybody?

03:22:07.000 Go to TomPapa.com.

03:22:09.000 I'm coming out in a couple weeks.

03:22:10.000 It all starts up again.

03:22:11.000 Come to Papa.

03:22:12.000 Come to Papa podcast.

03:22:14.000 And then this new one that's Netflix Radio.

03:22:17.000 What is it called again?

03:22:18.000 Netflix Radio.

03:22:18.000 What a joke on Netflix Radio.

03:22:21.000 And it's on 7 in the morning.

03:22:22.000 How many days a week?

03:22:23.000 Four days a week.

03:22:24.000 It runs 7 to 9 and 2 to 4 out here.

03:22:31.000 Thank you, Tom Papa.

03:22:32.000 Much love to you, my friend.

03:22:33.000 Oh, you're the best.

03:22:34.000 I love coming in.

03:22:35.000 I love having you, buddy.

03:22:36.000 See ya.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 12, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1333 - Tom Papa

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