On this episode of the podcast, the brother and sister duo of the sit down with the one and only Roy Wood Jr. to talk about all things Apple and electronics. They talk about the new MacBook, the Apple TV, the iPad, and much more. They also talk about how Apple is trying to get you to pay for the same shit over and over again every 3-4 years, and how it s time to get rid of the same old shit you ve been using for years. We also get into what it s like to be a dad, a husband, a brother, a friend, a coworker, and a human being in general. It s a lot to cover in this episode, so be sure to tune in! We hope you enjoy, sit down, and have a nice rest of the week. Love ya'll! -The Dadgasm Gang Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Subscribe to our other podcast, The PODCAST, and tell a Friend about what you think of it! We'll be looking out for the next episode next week! XOXO, The Crew Cheers, Cheers! Cheers. -Jonothan & The Crew! Jonothan and The Crew. Mike & the Crew - The Crew at The Crews - Jonothans and the Crew at the Crews at Also, and the crew at . Don't Tell a Friend About This Podcast & The Crew @ Jonthans Podcast - RYAN W. Jon talks about his new MacBook and his love/LOVED IT! -Jon talks about how he's going to get a new one soon! and how he s going to be working on a new MacBook. & how much he s getting paid for this new one? Joes and his plans to get an iPhone 5 and what he s gonna get in the new one at the store. and more! & much more... Joe talks about the future of Apple's new Macbook Pro? and so much more! - Jon talks all about it all! ,
00:02:32.000Unless you switch over to text message for a long period of time beforehand, like switch your iMessages to text messages on your Apple, on your phone, or unless you buy a new number.
00:03:51.000For me, I wanted to find out how to do it.
00:03:54.000It was cool to play games on a computer that I put together myself.
00:03:58.000But then you knew how to, like, so you're building the games as well, or are you going out and buying a floppy disk and all that?
00:04:02.000I'm not definitely not building any games.
00:04:05.000I would just, you know, like, I'd buy video games, just play them on Discord.
00:04:09.000But even formatting it and doing everything, I would have to call friends that really knew what the fuck was up, and they'd have to talk me through shit.
00:04:14.000There's some things you'd have to do in the BIOS and...
00:04:18.000The irony of all of this is that I still have an AOL email address, as much as I bitch about it.
00:04:44.000It's the same words that if I send it from Gmail.
00:04:47.000Now, I have a Gmail account so that people will take me seriously when I email them about business ideas, but I still have an old-school AOL email that I've had since college, and I'm like, it's fine.
00:08:33.000When you put that headset on, and that dude's in front of you, and he comes towards you, and he's got his hands up, and then he starts throwing punches like, oh shit!
00:08:40.000And you're moving around, and he's swinging at you.
00:08:42.000You see the punches flying over your head?
00:09:29.000They're doing these warehouses now, where you go into a warehouse, and it's all virtual reality, and so they have everything planned out, and you're walking across this beam, and there's fire to the left of you and fire to the right, so you feel heat.
00:09:48.000You know, when I was listening to you coming up, like, you started talking about the sensory deprivation chambers, and I'm like, that's always been something that's in the back of my head.
00:10:07.000Yeah, but it's one of those things where I go, when I get a house, I'm getting a grill, and I'm getting one of those goddamn Joe Rogan boxes.
00:13:24.000Now, granted, you don't get to do as many sets in LA because of the logistics of the city, but I just felt like there was more of a go-go-go mentality that just rubs off on you more.
00:13:34.000But because of that, you don't get to socialize.
00:13:37.000All of my friends are in LA, so a lot of social relationships have suffered because New York is go-go-go.
00:13:43.000And you're trying to get the next career thing done, and then you also got to go home and be a dad.
00:13:49.000Yeah, it's got to be weird raising kids in LA, or in New York too, rather.
00:15:52.000The will to do time and to find spots and to find a place to work out.
00:15:58.000I would make the argument that I'm better off now as a comic 20 years in having started on the road instead of starting in a major market just because I feel like when you're a road guy, You meet every version of what your career could end up being when you're young.
00:16:17.000Because if you're a big city comic, you're only hanging with your peers.
00:16:22.000You run into the big wigs every now and then, but it's some high and bi bullshit at the comedy club and then they go on their way.
00:16:28.000But when you do a weekend with Ron White and you get to watch him properly night after night after night, that's a fucking tutorial.
00:16:38.000And then you can do a weekend, the very next weekend, with a guy who's been doing it 30 years, hadn't written a new joke in 15, burnout, alcoholic, hates his kids, hates his wife, and...
00:16:52.000Once I got to LA, you start seeing, well, no, I know to avoid that because I'll end up like that, dude.
00:16:57.000I know not to do that because I'll end up like that.
00:17:00.000There was a comic, god damn, I can't name names.
00:17:03.000There was a comic that used to read one custody of his child, and the one thing in the court order was that she could not be around the comedy club.
00:18:50.000There was a guy that used to take me on the road with him down south, kind of on some mentorship type shit.
00:18:56.000And we would go do gigs, and if it was within four hours of the city, his wife would roll.
00:19:04.000His wife would roll and both kids are in the back seat, car seat age.
00:19:09.000It's like nine o'clock in Georgia and we're just riding together to a fucking gig.
00:19:15.000We would do the show and then in exchange for an opportunity for stage time, I would drive this family back home and then I would go home and sleep in my bed.
00:20:23.000But if that's the proposition she presents to you in order for you to continue doing your career, then, you know, you either got to take it or leave it.
00:20:30.000Comedy is a tricky one, man, because in order to do it correctly, you have to do it almost all the time.
00:21:33.000You know, like, it also puts me in the mind, I feel like the more sets you do, right, the tidier stand-up is, but the more focus you put on your set, like, it's almost as good as, like, a half a set.
00:21:44.000Like, listening to a full set is like doing a half a set.
00:22:25.000Spark up a joint, fire up the old fucking laptop, and that's when I write.
00:22:30.000There's a time, the thing that I struggle with the most in writing is consumption.
00:22:37.000Chappelle says something Years ago in a magazine about how every comedian needs to understand how their joke machine works.
00:22:46.000And identifying the stimuli that you were encountering during a time when you were having a creative high.
00:22:52.000In the writing cycle, when ideas are just popping and coming to you, document what was happening, what was going on during that time, and do your best to recreate those situations and scenarios to inspire writing when you have writer's block.
00:23:05.000So I know for me, it's stuff that bores me or stuff that annoys me.
00:23:11.000Be it reading, magazines, TV, whatever.
00:23:14.000So I have to find time to watch shit that I don't like or can't stand because I know my mind will wander into a place where I can write some stuff.
00:23:25.000But to physically just sit and consume television, and that's what I have to start doing on the go.
00:23:30.000I used to think these people were stupid, and now I'm one of those people who walks around staring at the fucking phone watching my DVR on the train or something because I have to...
00:23:40.000Constantly take in so that when it is time to write that there's something that there's something worth writing there.
00:23:45.000I had a conversation with Theo Vaughn about this last night where he he's burnt out and he had to cancel some shows and I said what's going on and he said man he goes I just been going too hard too hard too much too many weekends you know nine shows a week over and over and over again seven eight nine ten weeks in a row he goes I just I need to step because I'm not taking anything in Recovery.
00:24:08.000He goes, everything I'm putting, I'm just putting everything out.
00:24:12.000Everything seems fake when I'm saying it.
00:24:14.000Like, I feel, I felt, you know that, you know, you're laughing, you felt that spot where you feel like everything you're saying feels fake.
00:24:22.000Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm still working on a lot more stuff that has more teeth to it and I'm starting to become, obsessed isn't the word, but There's something noodling at me about veterans and the trajectory of veterans when they come back from war and all that shit.
00:24:40.000And I was trying to work on a bit about Vietnam and started watching this Ken Burns documentary that's on Netflix right now.
00:24:51.000They interview North Vietnamese soldiers as well.
00:24:55.000I ain't never in my life seen no shit.
00:24:58.000Because normally Vietnam was always told from our POV, And they're sitting down with just straight up via con, like, yeah, we was trying to get them motherfuckers.
00:26:13.000Maybe they're worried about those BMX dudes.
00:26:16.000Those BMX dudes, they started doing double flips, and then they started doing triple flips, and then a bunch of them started crashing and breaking their necks.
00:27:08.000There's a Birth of Big Air 30 for 30 where they talk about when they started that shit in the 80s in Oklahoma and they were just doing it for the love.
00:27:15.000Like it was just a dude with a ramp in his yard and just word traveled.
00:27:20.000No email, no nothing, just word of mouth.
00:32:54.000But it's not a bad thing to get it to be a part of his body when he's really young.
00:32:58.000My daughter started when she was five.
00:33:00.000But the question becomes about teaching proper conflict resolution.
00:33:04.000Because I also, I'm wired a little weird in the sense that I feel like because he's a black kid, he's not going to get judged the same if he throws the first punch.
00:33:13.000So I don't want him in a position where he might get expelled or some shit, you know?
00:33:18.000But if you got to get a motherfucker off you, go on and bend that knee sideways.
00:34:28.000Like, they would sit on the porch and watch me walk in the corner store, and then would come and take my fucking Nile Laters and Laffy Taffys.
00:36:07.000Because almost every fighter that I've ever met, professional fighter, was fucked with.
00:36:12.000Georges St-Pierre, who's like one of the greatest of all time, told a story on the podcast about he was driving his Range Rover when he was world champion through Montreal, and he saw this homeless guy, and the homeless guy was his bully in high school.
00:36:48.000You know, the victims of crimes oftentimes perpetrate those crimes on other people.
00:36:54.000That happens when kids get abused at home, they get beaten at home.
00:36:57.000They're the ones who want to beat kids up at school.
00:36:59.000You know, they want to dish out that violence on someone smaller than them because they're getting it dished out on them by someone larger.
00:38:04.000Do you ever run into the people from your past who have a revisionist history on y'all's relationship?
00:38:11.000Not too much, because the only people that I'm friends with from back then, I'm actually good friends with, that I was friends with when I was growing up.
00:39:33.000Like, I know for a fact I was never in any street fights outside of high school.
00:39:37.000I had a professor from college accuse me, this was in a Facebook thread of something, I don't know, there's some article about me and all the other alumni are commenting on it.
00:40:37.000I'm more of an evader and a schemer than a fighter.
00:40:40.000I'm not going to argue with you and go back and forth, but what I will try and figure out a way to do is over the next two years, diabolically dismantle anything you stand for and believe in.
00:41:17.000You know, comedy club owners, we have such a complicated relationship with them because we need them and we don't want to do it.
00:41:22.000I don't want to fucking run a goddamn comedy club, but we need one.
00:41:25.000You know, to have some guys dealing with a bunch of maniacs like us day in, day out, every week, coming in and telling jokes and getting drunk and Smoking weed in the green room and all the chaos.
00:42:42.000But they sold 300 paid tickets and everybody ate and drank.
00:42:47.000What do you think is keeping the lights on for your 30% selling capacity ass to come back in next year and the next year to go from 30% sold to 40% sold?
00:42:59.000They're not making no money off of you.
00:43:00.000But if these IG comedians can come in and at least help keep the lights on, I think in the greater scheme of comedy, There's more good than bad that comes from that.
00:43:11.000And I also feel like there's a level of ignoring the tools that they've been able to use to get an audience in lieu of the fact that they don't put new stand-up on TV anymore unless it's contest shit.
00:43:22.000Comedy Central just started with the Live at the Cellar shit, but other than that, I mean, it hasn't been a lot.
00:43:28.000Well, no one's even watching TV anymore.
00:43:31.000I mean, the numbers on regular TV programs are so low now.
00:43:34.000Like, if you're doing a set on Conan, like, what is...
00:44:10.000It's whether or not you decide to become a real comic and actually do the work and put in the time and then one day be...
00:44:17.000Look, I hope we see these YouTube comics and they're fucking terrible and then you go to see them seven, eight years later and they're murdering.
00:45:08.000And then all these fuckers just cruise through that checkout.
00:45:10.000And you're still stuck in the same waiting to get a...
00:45:14.000Tonight show set line and the Instagram line opens and people just start whisking through to success and you don't know whether or not to change lines or stay in this one.
00:45:23.000The beautiful thing about comedy is you don't have to get out of the line.
00:45:31.000But they ain't been waiting in line as long as me.
00:45:33.000So why do they get to leave the store?
00:45:35.000You know you have that jealousy, that little piece of jealousy when someone has not been in line as long as you leaves the grocery store before you.
00:48:13.000No, it's a software that turns your whole screen black and then turns the text green and you can't access your browser, you can't do nothing.
00:49:20.000Guerrilla-style shit, man, that's how this podcast got started.
00:49:23.000This podcast reaches some stupendous number of people every month, and it started out with a laptop in my living room, because I was bored, me and my friend Brian, because I had just gotten back from Colorado.
00:49:36.000And I was like, yeah, I can't believe I'm back in L.A. This is fucking terrible.
00:50:27.000If you started your career and just never did shit, no festivals, just crush, crush, crush, crush, you become a fucking legend.
00:50:37.000That by the time you finally decide, you're like a college quarterback that just stays in college for years and years and years and never enters the draft.
00:50:47.000And by the time you do, then everything is stratospheric.
00:52:02.000Like, the Letterman set is probably the only thing...
00:52:05.000The Letterman and Def Jam set in 06. Those are the only two that I'd still, to this day, would go, alright, I still stand beside those jokes.
00:53:05.000But the problem is that it takes comics discovering that.
00:53:08.000Because the problem as a young comic is that you inherit the goals of your predecessors.
00:53:12.000So as a young comic, especially as a road comic, every road comic is trying to get on TV. So they make you believe TV is where you need to be going.
00:53:22.000Don't fuck with that YouTube shit, little nigga.
00:53:24.000I tell you right now, you got to get on goddamn Letterman.
00:53:27.000You get on Letterman, and then you get the show.
00:53:29.000I got on Letterman, and it's not a knock.
00:54:02.000So you have to be ahead of that curve, and it just didn't listen to the instincts.
00:54:06.000Yeah, it's hard to see where it's going, though.
00:54:08.000If the people from your predecessors, the guys who were successful when you were coming up, where they were headlining and you were middling, for them, that was the goal.
00:55:20.000He knows how to do that shit, but he's ahead of that curve.
00:55:25.000So the other thing I think compounded guys like me from my generation is that Dane Cook was one of the first that was like, all right, fuck TV, what's over here?
00:55:33.000And so many people shitted on Dane out of jealousy that you ignored the fact that his MySpace move was some fucking bullshit.
00:56:10.000I'm just saying a lot of comics like me just didn't, you lean on what you're told because you look at older comics as mentors instead of realizing that maybe they don't have this shit figured out either and you should be trusting your instincts.
00:58:54.000I mean, that's bigger now, but in the beginning, yes, it was just porn clips getting chopped up and nobody paying $40 for a five-hour DVD. You know what I noticed lately?
00:59:28.000We did a story on racism and porn for Daily Show.
00:59:33.000And so we were shooting up in Chatsworth or whatever.
00:59:36.000And what I did, I learned so much about the porn industry and that I didn't know that like they would just have a fuck house where it's like an eight bedroom house and every bedroom is an individual studio set up for whatever genre of porn.
00:59:49.000There was like at least five different genres of porn being shot in that house.
01:00:17.000In this car, I have to be the most filthy, saddest fucking...
01:00:22.000To the point where I'm like, if this is what fucking on camera gets you, there's got to be something else out there.
01:00:30.000And you want to talk about people that need to see where the curve is.
01:00:33.000I think if you're a woman and you're cool with doing porn, you're probably better off just doing it on some self-starting shit than even dealing with any of these LA crooks in the first place.
01:00:41.000Yeah, if you could figure out a way to get an audience.
01:00:43.000I know there's a lot of dudes who run these companies that girls use where people pay to see their videos.
01:00:52.000Like someone will ask you, if you're a porn actress, they'll say, hey, I want you to use this dildo and cover your tits with whipped cream and I'll give you $150.
01:01:04.000On some live stream, like private Skype type shit.
01:01:07.000Yeah, they make their money doing that, and they'll do that all day long, and rake in thousands of dollars.
01:01:12.000Yeah, that's like the food videos, where you sit butt naked and eat some food, and you go on a virtual date with the person.
01:02:25.000Podcast you and Brian with a laptop and a microphone and just Turn a webcam on and just doing whatever the fuck you want to do with yourself then dealing with the industry Yeah, and the record industry is becoming similar to that, too I think so, too, but I think that it's hard for them to find an audience that way There's so much porn like I had a joke I was doing for a while About why are they making new porn like who is jerked off to all of it?
01:02:49.000There's no way anyone has seen it all, but yet they keep making new porn.
01:03:40.000So, Steve Byrne and I, We were in Pittsburgh and three things lead to another and we end up at a strip club and it's a weekend and so apparently, I didn't know this, but porn stars tour strip clubs and they'll go to a strip club on the weekend and dance and sell whatever pocket pussy or whatever vagina mold they have and all of the strippers fucking hate them.
01:04:32.000Because, you know, like, there's like a beef between, like...
01:04:35.000Strippers and prostitutes because some strippers are sucking fuck in the back of the club and it fucks up money for the rest of the strippers that are playing the game straight up.
01:04:44.000So there was this weird tension in the strip club while the porn star was on stage and I could not stop laughing.
01:04:52.000Because it was comedy and that's part of why stripping to me is performative.
01:04:59.000In a weird way, it's comedy and stripping.
01:05:01.000It's damaged people entertaining strangers.
01:05:06.000So I don't really get anything out of watching the stripper because in the back of my head, I know you're thinking about groceries or some other shit.
01:05:13.000But it was hilarious as a comic to watch two different same but different type of performance.
01:05:20.000The stand-up versus the juggler and how they all kind of don't really like one another for one reason or another because they all think what they do is superlative to the other guy's craft.
01:05:31.000And it was, it was goddamn, it was fucking hilarious.
01:05:34.000That is an inside scene that only strippers can really appreciate what you're talking about.
01:05:47.000There's a couple of strip clubs that I used to go to in Birmingham where the club would close at 2 and the police would leave and then at 3 the club would reopen and then it was open season and it was whatever you wanted to do and then you would see strippers in the parking lot Yelling at the other strippers who were choosing to stay for the 3am session,
01:06:09.000saying that y'all are messing it up and that's why nobody comes before 2 is because of what you're doing.
01:06:35.000But if you want to fuck people for money, that becomes a real problem for people because people desire sex so much and there's so many guys that cannot get laid, but they've got some money.
01:06:46.000And if they find out if they can pay for it, people are like, no, you can't!
01:07:36.000Even think, like, you know, I grew up doing terrible construction jobs I'd never want to do.
01:07:41.000You know, it might be better to suck a dude's dick for a thousand bucks than to fucking carry cement bags all day for $400 for a whole week.
01:08:32.000Dude, why am I going to sit here in a hotel all day and do nothing when I could go make a quick, like, minimum wage was like five and a quarter.
01:08:40.000Like, you're only making 40 bucks, but that was extra money.
01:09:01.000You show up at 6 in the morning with your driver's license, and you sign up, and then you sit in the lobby, and you watch the morning news until your name is called, and then they give you your job assignment.
01:09:13.000And so you bring boots, you bring a hard hat, because you don't know what you're going to get.
01:09:17.000You might get something with a keyboard, you might just be outside holding a stop slow fucking stop stick while they pave a road, and that's your gig for eight hours.
01:09:45.000At the time, I was still working morning radio.
01:09:48.000So, if it was within five hours, I would do morning radio, get off the air at 10, be on the road by 11, five hours, nap, do the show, get back in my car at 10 p.m., five hours back to Birmingham, sleep at the station, wake up at 6, wash, rinse, repeat.
01:10:55.000The guy would play the prank calls for a couple of weeks, a couple of months.
01:10:58.000And then I would call the local comedy club and go, hey, I want a feature in your room.
01:11:03.000I'm on the radio and I know I can get on there.
01:11:06.000And this is when the belief that radio still could bring people to the show.
01:11:11.000So I would call local comedy clubs in cities where my prank calls were airing and use that as leverage to get booked as a feature instead of an emcee.
01:11:18.000And so that's how I was able to kind of jump a level because I was a feature that was coming in town with the pre-plugged in media access and all of that shit.
01:12:12.000So the way I got hired on radio, so at the time, the thought was that, this is 2001, I'm out of college, and if I can get on the radio, then that'll give me more access in the city, and I can host my own comedy night.
01:12:27.000By hosting my own comedy night, I can offer money to out-of-towners who also have comedy nights and do swap-outs.
01:13:17.000Now, I've done enough of the comedy club in Birmingham to know that on black weekends, the black radio station hosts the black comedy night on Fridays and they throw out t-shirts and all that shit.
01:13:27.000So, I go to the comedy club and I told Bruce Ayers, I said, hey...
01:13:31.000I just got hired at 95.7 and they want me to open for D.O. Hughley this weekend.
01:13:51.000So I get to the comedy club that Friday and all I have to do is keep Buckwild and Bruce Ayers apart.
01:13:59.000So that neither one knows what the fucking lie was.
01:14:03.000And Bruce came backstage and you just, as long as you act like you belong and you act like the truth is the truth, people will kind of merge in with that shit.
01:14:13.000And Bruce came in and goes, okay, Buck Wild, you go out and throw the t-shirts and then you bring up Roy.
01:14:18.000And I went out, and it was seven minutes, but I fucking crushed, like, just, when you need that one set to go right in every syllable, every fucking comma, it's perfect.
01:14:28.000And I demolished in front of D.L. Hughley, and I walk off stage, and Buckwild says, see you Monday morning.
01:14:54.000I'm not saying load your resume with 50 different credits that you don't have, but if you've performed somewhere else, Outside of where you're from, you have performed across the country.
01:16:25.000People who worked in these department stores would take the carbons and sell them to him.
01:16:30.000He would take those carbons, make a totally new credit card out of that carbon with some sort of machine, and then they would distribute them to these guys.
01:16:38.000They would buy goods with this stuff, and then they would sell the goods.
01:16:42.000And then guys would come to him in the pool hall with paper bags filled with cash.
01:16:47.000And all he wanted to do was gamble on pool and he could never win.
01:16:50.000And when I'm telling you never win, that guy was playing with dirty money and he knew it.
01:17:21.000So I'm typing International Sal, and I hit spacebar, and two things come up, credit card thief and pool player, but when I click to search for that, nothing shows up.
01:17:34.000Like, for instance, credit card thief, and it just brings up a bunch of other stuff about credit card thieves and other people.
01:17:39.000Well, honestly, it might be because of us.
01:20:17.000And when he got out of jail, not only did he have a drive that other people probably couldn't comprehend, but he knew what would happen if it went bad again.
01:20:26.000He knew what would happen if he slid back down that road again.
01:20:28.000And apparently, like the corrections officer said, when he was getting out, you'll be right back in here.
01:22:04.000It's an opportunity for the first time as a society to audit your past behavior when all we do is judge who you are now based on who you were.
01:22:13.000That's what our society is established upon.
01:22:16.000So that's why it doesn't feel so out of pocket to me that people are doing it.
01:22:20.000It's like, oh, it's a new way to see if you or me, I can literally search your name plus a word and see if you said the word and then I will fucking make it.
01:22:27.000It's no different than a fucking bankruptcy sitting on your record from...
01:22:31.000I like how you described it as a market correction because I think that is what's going to happen.
01:22:35.000We're going to understand that what we're doing now is kind of unsustainable.
01:22:38.000Like going back and judging someone on some shit that happened in high school or whatever it was and trying to look at words you said when you're trying to make a joke like what happened with Kevin Hart.
01:22:47.000And he apologized for it many times and then he's hosting the Oscar and they're like, look, 10 years ago he said this.
01:22:53.000He's like, look, I'm not going to do this.
01:26:13.000He's not as good as R. Kelly, but he can get cast in some Jesus movie and redemption, and it'll parallel.
01:26:20.000He's still not admitting that anything happened.
01:26:21.000The problem is that the people that could give him the redemption are some of the people whose trust he betrayed.
01:26:27.000That's the problem, is that you start looking at the Lee Daniels and the Tyler Perrys and...
01:26:31.000You know, maybe the Ava DuVernay's and the people that are in that world of black cinema that could get them back in into whatever this crossover mainstream world is.
01:26:40.000So it's about earning that trust again.
01:26:41.000But I think there's no, and I'm just saying from personal experience, you know, there's no group of people more forgiving than, I think, black entertainment.
01:26:51.000I don't think they're ever going to forgive him for calling himself the gay Tupac.
01:26:54.000I don't think gay people would forgive him for that.
01:27:21.000Whatever it is, come out and be happy and normal in some level of attrition.
01:27:27.000He would have to explain the whole thought process for putting on the hoax, why he kept the noose on his neck, who was talking to the cops while he was holding a subway.
01:35:30.000The book is even crazier because Lawrence Wright goes into depth with all these different people as they were realizing that it was horseshit.
01:35:37.000As they were getting the ninth level of doom papers.
01:35:41.000It's handwritten nonsense by a retard.
01:35:44.000That guy who wrote it, he was self-diagnosing all of his own personal ailments and dealing with them himself and then trying to pass that off as a way to live amongst all these people that were paying attention to him.
01:36:01.000But all of it started from him self-diagnosing.
01:36:04.000Is it natural for Scientologists, and I only know what I know from that doc and Leah Remini, Lifetime shit.
01:36:13.000Is it natural to not be, like the way a Christian is just openly Christian.
01:37:10.000And it's like the science of cleaning your mind and avoiding all external influences that are negative and that are ruining your perspective.
01:37:19.000Used to be commercials for that in the 80s and 90s.
01:37:35.000I was just trying to figure out, like, what's the best?
01:37:37.000I was into psychology when I was young because I was fighting all the time and I was always scared.
01:37:41.000So I was trying to figure out, there's got to be a way to overcome these mental hurdles.
01:37:46.000For martial arts competition, the big thing was the fear.
01:37:50.000It wasn't your physical ability wasn't as much of a hurdle as the fear.
01:37:55.000You know, the fear of competition was terrible, so I was like, but sometimes I'd feel confident, and it'd be great, and other times I'd be fucking terrified, and like, well, I've got to figure out how to be consistent.
01:38:07.000So I started getting into all that kind of stuff, and then when I came to L.A., it was like in 94, I saw a Dianetics commercial.
01:40:38.000Well, when I was 21 and I was first starting to do comedy, that's when I was really devouring as much of it as possible.
01:40:44.000Because I was trying to figure out how to not be so lazy, how to be motivated, how to get shit done, and how to find the correct path and think about things correctly.
01:40:54.000And so that's when I really got into Anthony Robbins.
01:41:16.000Like what you did by taking a job when you would show up at a gig and you'd be working there Tuesday through Sunday and then take a day job and work nine to five.
01:41:24.000That is more hustle and more hustle mindset than anything you're ever going to get out of an Anthony Robbins book.
01:42:24.000They harden you through all that work.
01:42:26.000And through all that work, through that insane hell week, all the shit that you have to do when you're going through BUDS training, the six months of breaking you down and building you back up, they teach you you can do anything.
01:46:35.000Because you're on stage with Jack, and they've associated that as part of the...
01:46:38.000Also, you lose control of the audience.
01:46:40.000At least I do when I'm up there drinking, because they send a shot, someone else sends a shot, and now it's a fucking big...
01:46:46.000It's a pep rally instead of a performance.
01:46:49.000Yeah, when people are sending you shots, that's a disaster.
01:46:52.000That's a disaster because then everybody wants to send you shots.
01:46:54.000Yeah, but then what am I doing in my performance that made someone think it was cool to do that and that that would make this experience better for everybody?
01:47:05.000I need y'all to shut the fuck up so I can get this chisel shit out of my mouth.
01:47:11.000So it totally changed how I, you know, and also alcohol makes me sleepy, and then it was too much driving in the 20s and stuff, so I can't be drowsy-headed at home.
01:47:21.000So, I don't know, it was just never my thing.
01:47:23.000Yeah, it's a tricky one, man, because, like, one drink will loosen you up.
01:47:48.000I can't remember what comic did a joke like this, but maybe a couple of them, where before you drink, you have to look at your schedule for the next day and a half to make sure you have the bounce back and recovery and all that shit.
01:49:01.000You just say, at the end of this fucking month, I am going to have a trainer and I'm going to work out three days a week with that trainer.
01:49:30.000But if you do that, you'll force yourself to do it, and next thing you know, you've done it.
01:49:35.000I have this dog that loves running, and so I make sure that if I don't take him running, he's always a pain in the ass, he's dropping the ball on the table, trying to get you to play.
01:56:07.000I mean, people are going to try and stomp them out and poison and trap and all of that, but at some point, you just got to go, all right, man, you're going to live it, too.
01:56:13.000Well, they're maintaining right now, right?
01:58:19.000Like, that's not what they want, for sure, but they're accustomed to being homeless.
01:58:24.000Like, they've acclimated to that world, and they've lived in it, many of them, for years and years and years, and they go to places and shelters where they get food, they sleep out on the street, they have a whole community of people that are out on the street, they're all doing drugs, and most of them are psychiatric patients.
01:58:41.000That's the thing that really fucks me up with the homeless population in this country, is that half are vets, and then on some mental illness shit, maybe some of them, their family just can't Give them the care they need.
01:58:52.000But if they got the care they need, maybe they could be a little more level enough to at least be under a roof with a loved one or somebody that can afford to, you know, to take them in.
01:59:01.000No, no, I think you're absolutely right.
01:59:22.000There's like this weird thing with the homeless as well, where I feel like, as a country, we're quicker to help people in groups.
01:59:33.000In a weird way, it still fucks me up, and it's gonna come out wrong, but if there's a natural disaster, the amount of money we will pour into relief and support for a particular area after the hurricane or the tornado or whatever, and that's fine.
01:59:49.000If that same type of outpouring happened just once for the homeless coast to coast, it would change so much fucking shit, bro.
02:01:43.000Yeah, I just think that we live in a society where it's just the people in power know that if you help the people that you've been oppressing, then you run the risk of facing their wrath once they have power.
02:01:59.000Why would I... If I have an opportunity to make something better and people are labeling me as the fault for you being in that situation in the first place, then I run the risk of losing...
02:02:49.000It's not going to affect all these inner cities.
02:02:52.000These inner cities that have had these same problems forever.
02:02:54.000If you looked at the problems, like murder problems in this country, like the places in the inner city where you have gang violence and murder and drug trafficking and the same fucking problems over and over and over again, year after year...
02:03:19.000What do I gain by helping those people?
02:03:22.000Well, you get more people that do well, and you have a better economy, and you have a safer society, and people look at you like you're a real leader.
02:03:29.000Like, wow, Mayor Wood, look what he did.
02:03:44.000I just think where politics like that is concerned, we are more inclined to vote and do things that serve our own interests first.
02:03:53.000Politicians are more inclined to enact policies that serve their best interests, and we're more inclined to vote for things that serve our best interests.
02:03:59.000So the two things work against each other, and for it to work, for the system to work, you have to vote for things that are for the greater good, even if it means sacrificing your own position in the process.
02:04:09.000And that's what I think a lot of politicians don't do.
02:04:11.000But I think in this day and age, trying to help impoverish communities, now there's an awareness of how long stuff's been going on and how...
02:04:48.00030 plus years later, the same exact crimes in the same exact places.
02:04:54.000And he's like the feeling of like futility, the handling this, the fact that no one gives a fuck and that this has been this way forever and nothing's being done to do anything other than just continue the process of arresting people, letting them out, arresting people, letting them out.
02:05:34.000In the past, I think, it's like past eight years or so, they're starting to pull at the threads now and figure out, oh, what the hell is this?
02:05:45.000And it's all these people getting fucked up.
02:05:47.000The people who covered it up Those are people in office who could have made the decisions that you're saying to not fucking let fucked up water get into the water table.
02:05:57.000So if a corporation says, hey man, motherfucker, don't worry about that dirty water.
02:06:02.000Here's some money and some campaign promises.
02:06:23.000So, off that alone, the choice you're making isn't for the greater good of the society or the pride or, like, the way ants, like, you know what ants do that's so dope when it's a flood?
02:06:33.000You ever seen the fire ants make the float?
02:06:36.000That's what we have to be, but we're not gonna be there, because nobody wants to be the ant on the bottom that might drown and can't get back up to the top in time.
02:06:47.000Well, I think there's also a sense of futility, like there's a lack of resources to handle everything, so you just take what you can, handle what you can, and keep moving, and then just get the fuck out of Newark.
02:08:30.000If I'm not using my gift and all these advantages to try and help better other people somehow, then I feel like I failed the city, or I feel like I failed where I came from.
02:08:40.000So I'm trying to figure out how, because what I've never seen is someone that gave back or attempted to put back into without it costing them something in the process as well.
02:09:24.000I think it's the job of people who are running cities and states and the country, but it's about how much resource, how much resources they have and how much they delegate to fixing these problems that have existed forever.
02:09:38.000What I've learned, man, is I learned a shit ton.
02:09:42.000We shot my Comedy Central pilot in Birmingham this summer, which was not an easy feat in terms of the logistics of it, just because Birmingham's not Atlanta.
02:09:53.000It's not a bunch of fucking cameras just laying around.
02:09:56.000But you start seeing how different entities at the state level and the local level, even the county level, all have to get a little touch, all have to...
02:10:08.000Have a hand in it somehow so that everyone feels like they are all part, like you have to please too many people at the same time to get anything remotely done.
02:10:19.000I don't know, I can't speak for the rest of the country, but I know in Alabama, that's generally how it is.
02:10:24.000I think that's generally how it is with all politics.
02:10:26.000I mean, everybody wants a little bit of credit.
02:10:28.000Everybody wants a little bit of a say in it.
02:10:30.000I'm fine with the credit, but just help.
02:10:48.000Because not everybody's happy for you at the crib.
02:10:51.000That's the saddest shit ever when you think about charitable organizations and you find out how much people are making to run those charitable organizations.
02:13:01.000Oh, she was his assistant in 2008. She began as De Niro's assistant, and she now is being sued.
02:13:13.000So she basically got to a place where...
02:13:16.000They're working together for 11 years.
02:13:18.00011 years of employment, De Niro Robinson rose to Vice President of Production and Finance, according to the suit which lists her 2019 salary at $300,000.
02:13:26.000She finally left the company in April after being suspected of corporate sabotage, said the legal filing.
02:13:50.000It's just funny that out of all the shit that this lady did, apparently, allegedly, the 55 episodes of Friends are the ones that became the headline that everybody had to click on.
02:14:28.000There was some public spat at a restaurant where he yelled at his wife, I wouldn't have to do these shitty fucking movies if you weren't spending all my money.
02:18:35.000So the next month I requested the full itemized Call log.
02:18:39.000Like back in the day, Sprint would send you your entire call log for the month, and I just went through it, and then I could see the patterns of when I was asleep or when I was on stage.
02:18:49.000You could just see that when it's all in front of you, it's easy to just see that, oh, yeah, when I go to work at 6 a.m., then you call this guy.
02:23:10.000You don't get to be a seasoned, grown-up human being without getting your heart broken a few times, without having a bunch of things going and disappointing in your work life.
02:23:21.000And then you become a person with an understanding of all the variabilities that you're dealing with in life.
02:23:28.000I think the problem, though, you know, with love is that it also can be corroding in a sense where if you've really been invested and you've really tried to love and then it didn't work.
02:23:42.000I think like I feel like if you've been in love a couple of I also feel like people get married sooner.
02:23:49.000There's something more pure about it, but people get married later is more honest.
02:24:09.000So when you enter into a relationship, it's more pure.
02:24:12.000But because you have these battle wounds and these battle scars, I don't know if you love the same as the couple that got married in their 20s.
02:25:59.000You also learn how to communicate way better so that it doesn't devolve to a point where either you are being malicious to each other.
02:26:07.000Me and my girl is way better at communication than anything I could have imagined with anyone in my 20s.
02:26:12.000Yeah, because of those experiences and learning.
02:26:16.000That's the part where you try to fucking correct.
02:26:19.000But then there's always a piece of you.
02:26:20.000It's like Do you ever find, I guess, I can't ask you this as a married man, but you find yourself sometimes looking at past relationships like jokes where you go, oh, I know how I could have fixed that one.
02:26:38.000Where even with the knowledge you have now of relationships and love, I can look back on stuff that I fucked up and go, all I had to do was this, this, boom, and that joke would have hit.
02:27:11.000It's like you have to leave behind these poorly finished projects to appreciate the one that you're going to put out next that's going to be the best version of it.
02:27:19.000I look at every fucking special I ever did going, ugh.
02:27:22.000Even if they were successful, I just go, ugh.
02:29:09.000Yeah, when you see people that are doing the same mundane shit over and over and over again, they don't know what it's like to have that thrill.
02:29:16.000They're basically getting on a fucking seesaw every day.
02:29:26.000There's too many good thoughts out there.
02:29:28.000That's why I love talking with Neil Brennan.
02:29:31.000Neil Brennan is like one of those perfect comics that I can go, hey man, what do you think about this?
02:29:37.000And he'll tag it darker and take it to a place that I wouldn't have even considered.
02:29:42.000And, you know, like, you start noticing, like, there's only...
02:29:45.000Even if you have a bunch of comedian friends, there's only certain friends that understand how or which way you're trying to go with the bit.
02:29:52.000Because someone else might give you a tag that drifts off into easy land, and I don't want that.
02:30:14.000I like the ones where I know that it was an argument that he had with a girl.
02:30:19.000Then he's bringing it to the stage and trying to work it out and make it funny.
02:30:23.000Because if you have an argument with a girl and then she comes to see you at a comedy club like a month later and that argument gets relayed to the audience and it's fucking hysterical, you win.
02:31:42.000And it's taking that thought and figuring out how to weave that.
02:31:46.000But that's what I mean where a friend can help me work through an idea.
02:31:50.000But then somewhere, the trick is to come around the backside of that and make sure that you're reinforcing and uplifting the people that chose to fight.
02:31:59.000It's a whole world that I'm just obsessed with.
02:32:02.000It all boils back to the whole Trump draft dodger thing and the hypocrisy that If we agree that the troops are fucked and they're treated horribly, then how is draft dodging bad?
02:33:22.000And then from that transcription, start filling in the blanks of how to flesh out the thought and the point a little bit more.
02:33:30.000But then some stuff requires research.
02:33:33.000There's a bit that I'm working on now about how the most important person, the most important character in a civil rights movie is the white person, is the evil white actor.
02:34:46.000So that joke, I have that idea, and I'll just work that thought a couple of times.
02:34:50.000But now, before I put it on stage again, I need movies.
02:34:53.000I need examples to back up the thesis statement.
02:34:55.000So that's what I'll start writing and really start looking at all of these examples.
02:35:00.000And I also have, like, it's in the same ballpark of that.
02:35:05.000It's about how, like, people call, like, Green Book, like, a white savior movie.
02:35:09.000And how this movie is about white people doing a good deed for black people back in the day.
02:35:15.000And black people don't like white savior movies because, you know, it avoids the pain and the struggle and all that shit.
02:35:22.000And I feel like white savior movies are just reactionary to powerful civil rights movies because nobody wants to be portrayed negatively.
02:35:30.000So if there are enough civil rights movies that play white people as evil, it's inevitable that a white person is going to write a movie about, remember the time we drove you around to play the piano?
02:35:46.000So don't just show all those evil things we did.
02:35:49.000Let's also acknowledge the time we drove you around.
02:35:52.000And I think if I go back and I look through the history of the box office over the last 20 years, I guarantee you I'll be able to find an oscillation between Powerful civil rights movie and white savior movie.
02:36:03.000And when you write that out, you're just going to write bullet points and then just run it on stage?
02:36:08.000No, now we'll do bullet points of all the movies.
02:36:11.000So the next stage is I'll write all those movies out and I'll go on stage and do half of those movies one set.
02:36:16.000The next set I'll do the other half of movies and see which ones resonate the quickest.
02:37:06.000It's so rewarding when that gets pulled off.
02:37:10.000I just feel like if you look at every genre, and it's not to defend a white savior movie as much as it is to just show why the fuck it happened.
02:37:18.000Black people in the 90s, like Boys in the Hood.
02:37:22.000In the 90s, that was the era of shoot-em-up, bang-bang-hood classics.
02:37:27.000And somewhere around 95, 96, black cinema became much more positive and reinforcing.
02:37:33.000And there was Waiting to Exhale and Poetic Justice and Above the Rim.
02:37:43.000There were all these more positive black cinema.
02:37:45.000That was in direct reaction to not wanting to be perceived and portrayed constantly in a negative light.
02:37:52.000So I could probably go deep into the fucking weeds, race by race on cinema.
02:38:00.000I could do all the Asian movies and end with Crazy Rich Asians as the counter to that, but it's not necessarily Asian savior.
02:38:07.000I don't know how to connect that, but I believe there's a way with all of these cinematic movies to connect it all together.
02:38:16.000And at that point, you probably got a 25-minute bit that you know needs to be chopped down to 10. But that's how you build the whole house, and then you just start chopping off wings.
02:38:27.000And when you do that, are you writing it out?
02:38:29.000Do you ever write things out while I was asking an essay form?
02:38:32.000Because one of the things that I found that has a great benefit is I write things out not trying to be funny.
02:38:39.000Writing it out in a way where I'm trying to be funny, I just write it out like I'm writing an essay, like I'm writing an article for a magazine.
02:38:45.000And then in doing that, I'll extract chunks that are funny.
02:38:50.000Because I find that when I'm trying to write as a comic, I'm trying to write set-up punchline, it's too defining, it's too limiting.
02:38:57.000But when I write in an open form, then funny ideas are in there, and I just come out and pull them.
02:39:05.000Do you think part of that is having the advantage of the audience being with you immediately?
02:39:11.000Like when you have your audience, you're afforded that opportunity?
02:39:15.000Because it's weird because the way we build material now, I don't think that's how you did it when you first started.
02:39:21.000Was it more about just the joke, the joke, the joke?
02:39:24.000Yeah, you had to gain their confidence, right?
02:39:44.000You gotta grab them and show them that you have something.
02:39:46.000But then, once you become an established comedian, the other problem is you're working with a bunch of other established comedians.
02:39:52.000Like, say, if I'm working with you, and then there's Joey Diaz, and all these other fucking people that are going on that are murdering, and then you go up with some bullshit new stuff, that stuff has to be ready.
02:40:03.000Having an established audience is great for a couple minutes.
02:40:35.000But I think the essay form, I started figuring that out maybe 10 years ago.
02:40:40.000I started writing things in essay form.
02:40:42.000I originally used to do it as blog posts.
02:40:45.000I would write blog posts and I'd take those blog posts and I would extract ideas from them and then make it into comedy.
02:40:50.000But I feel like the writing without the limitations of it needing to be funny is where I get the most ideas.
02:40:56.000Yeah, and then you also have the most truth in there as well.
02:40:59.000Yes, because I'm not just trying to bullshit people for a laugh.
02:41:02.000I'm trying to find out, like, what is it, like, if that premise of, like, the White Savior movie, like, what is it about white people making these movies?
02:41:10.000Like, what are they trying to, are they trying to defend something?
02:41:13.000Are they trying to exonerate themselves?
02:41:16.000Like, what are they trying to do when they make that movie?
02:41:17.000Is it just a feel-good, is it their distorted idea of how to bring everybody together is to show that some white people were really good back then, even in the bad times?
02:41:55.000And then you get absorbed in the writing.
02:41:57.000And then in that absorption, you're a funny guy.
02:41:59.000You're always going to think funny thoughts.
02:42:01.000Those funny thoughts are going to come out.
02:42:03.000When you're talking about something, you're like, what the fuck was this guy thinking?
02:42:06.000And then you go on this whole rant about this thing that maybe...
02:42:09.000If you didn't give yourself the opportunity to sit in front of a computer and just stare at the screen and stare at those keyboard You probably wouldn't have come up with that premise.
02:42:18.000Also, once I have the joke in a decent shape, even if it's kind of loose, I start watching myself on mute.
02:42:28.000I go from audio to once the joke has structure to video, and then just watching myself on mute and just seeing body language and just seeing, does this look funny?
02:43:04.000But nobody, if I take my head one way, then bring my shoulders, instead of bringing my head and shoulders at the same time on a turn, while I'm contemplating a point.
02:43:15.000Something as simple as that For me, helps jokes.
02:43:19.000And then I can go back and listen to the audio.
02:43:22.000Go back and watch the video and see where I'm getting laughs just off movement and I haven't said a word yet.
02:43:27.000And for me, it's quick movements and facial expressions.
02:44:45.000It's a fascinating process, and we discussed this on the show many times before, that there's no books that can tell you how to do it.
02:44:52.000One of the things that's really cool about this conversation is young guys coming up, young girls coming up that want to learn how to do comedy can listen to your process, and they'll get an idea of the map ahead.
02:45:02.000They'll get an idea of the road, because there's no courses you can take that are ever going to prepare you.
02:45:08.000You have to find established comedians and listen to them talk about how they do it.
02:45:12.000In a sense, what we're doing is we're laying down Like, sort of a course for the up-and-coming class, for the people that are starting out now that don't really have anyone to show them how to do it.
02:45:27.000They can cut a lot of time out by listening to a guy like you who's explaining the mistakes that he made and then the good choices that you made and then your process.
02:45:36.000One of the tricks that I had early on was to just avoid topics that anybody else was talking about.
02:45:42.000And then even if the joke wasn't the funniest, I got credit for being original.
02:45:46.000And I don't know if this will work for every comic, but I know coming up early 2000s in the back half of the Def Jam era, to be a black comic that wasn't talking about fucking and sucking and weed and You ever been so broke?
02:45:58.000Like, I just, I didn't touch none of that shit.
02:46:42.000But I started noticing that The first thing I needed to do, the first objective when I got on was, alright, all the road bookers said, you gotta get a TV credit.
02:46:53.000You gotta get a TV credit and then I can pay you more.
02:46:56.000Alright, well the only thing that was booking people on a regular was Comic View.
02:46:59.000So BET's Comic View became the path, but then...
02:47:02.000I didn't get Comic View like two, three years in a row, and I looked at the material I submitted versus the material that was being performed.
02:47:09.000It was guys doing better versions of the same topics as me.
02:47:13.000So, all right, this year, we're going to try doing different topics from everybody.
02:47:18.000So I watched Comic View for a whole year, kept a log of every topic that was touched on for every episode, and just never did jokes about those topics.