In this episode, the boys talk about a wide range of topics, from the early days of stand-up comedy, to their favorite ACDC songs, and everything in between. We also have a special guest on the show this week, our good friend and friend of the show, Jamie, who happens to be a comedian, comedian, writer, podcaster, and all-around funny guy. We hope you enjoy this episode and that you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it! Stay tuned for Part 2 of this episode next week where we talk about our favorite movies and tv shows, as well as our favorite pratfalls and other things we like to talk about. Stay tuned, stay tuned, and stay safe out there in the world of comedy and music! -The Guys Who Know Best (feat. Dave Chappelle) Music: "Goodbye Outer Space" by Fletch & The Wangerys Art: Mackenzie Moore Editor: Will Witwer Logo by Ian Dorsch Theme Music: Jeff Kaale ( ) Music: Hayden Coplen ( ) Editor: Christian Blumberg ( ) Additional Compositions: Willy Wonka & The Goodfellows ( ) Art: Ben Bateman ( ) Thank you to our sponsor, and ( ) for making this episode so beautiful! Thank you so much for coming to us with your support and making us a safe space to record this episode. We appreciate you guys. Thank you for being a safe, positive vibes, support us, and support us in any way possible, we really appreciate you. We really appreciate it. We can't thank you, you're amazing, we appreciate you, and we're grateful you're listening, we're so much, we can't do it, we love you, we'll send you back, Thank you, thank you back and we'll see you, back, we won't stop sending us back, more of you, more than we can do you, so we'll keep you, ya'll'll, more and more, more, we truly appreciate it, more in the next week, more & more, bye bye, bye. -Merry Christmas, bye! xoxo, bye, Kristy, bye <3 -JOSH, JOSH & JUICY -P.J. ( ) -PJ & GABY
00:05:58.000Imagine, like, you're headed up there and it's your idea and she slips and bashes her brains out against the rocks just because it was your stupid idea.
00:06:06.000She's like, let's just do it right here.
00:07:31.000They're doing TikTok and Instagram, and everybody's checking social media to force a kid to sit down and watch National Lampoon's Family Vacation.
00:13:40.000He was dancing around with his beautiful afro, and then we watched him become a grown man, one of the biggest superstars in the world, and we watched him go insane.
00:16:40.000Like, there's a thing that happens, I think, when someone is really good at writing jokes, where they're giving it to you in a way that you are almost equally impressed with the efficiency of their use of language as you are with the funny in it.
00:17:06.000I agree, but I think there's something also to hiding the technique.
00:17:10.000You know, he's so technique, he's a technician, he's precise, he's great at it.
00:17:14.000But I think something about the guy just being loosey-goosey, and you don't even see, oh shit, that was the punch, I didn't even see it coming.
00:20:40.000I worked at Eastside Comedy Club when I was like...
00:20:44.000I think I was probably 23-ish, 24. This was my first time making it to New York, and I was doing Long Island.
00:20:51.000And they told me that Richard Jenny had been there that night, or that weekend, and did two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, each totally different.
00:21:41.000You always hear Bill Hicks say that thing of like, you know, the material is what you fall back on when you're out of things to say, which I don't agree with.
00:21:49.000I think the material is what you show up to do.
00:21:51.000People want to hear your point of view.
00:21:52.000They don't want to hear about, you know, they might want to hear you rant a little bit in the beginning, but do the act.
00:24:38.000Edgy to us is, you know, abortion and miscarriage and AIDS and anal and queef and jizz.
00:24:43.000But these guys, they want, you know, maybe a Jew joke or something.
00:24:48.000Edgy is one of those things where, even though I might enjoy it by classical definition, like what it actually is, I never enjoy hearing someone say it's edgy.
00:27:51.000So I'm trying to be funny, I'm getting some zings, some zangs, and Catwoman walks on, like a sexy Catwoman, I make fun of her, pussy, joke, whatever, and It's going well.
00:29:49.000It also gives you a greater appreciation of the good shows, and you might have more enthusiasm for If you go to a comedy club and the middle act is already killing and you get out there and there's great energy, you're like, oh, this is so good.
00:30:03.000You realize how good it is because you did the corporate gig.
00:30:06.000Maybe you wouldn't appreciate those club gigs unless you had done the corporate gig.
00:30:26.000It was on Avenue A. And I was bombing and I was doing my dumb horse shit, observational, and this guy started heckling me.
00:30:33.000And I just, after bombing and living in New York and having bedbugs and just being poor and sad and lonely and drunk, I just snapped on this guy and it was killing!
00:32:26.000When you have to move to a completely new environment, you're forced to rethink how you do comedy because now you're around the Chicago guys.
00:32:34.000And maybe the Chicago girls and guys do their stand-up different.
00:32:39.000And you get around them and you go, oh, well, these guys are, this is another level.
00:32:44.000And then you go to New York, oh, this is another level.
00:34:52.000And he was there, and it turned from this all-Italian neighborhood to it was a black neighborhood for a while, and then it became, right now, or when I lived there, rather, it was more of a Latino immigrant community.
00:35:06.000There was a lot of Spanish-speaking people from all sorts of different countries.
00:35:11.000I didn't do a survey and find out what country they're all from, but...
00:35:13.000Do you think black people go, shit, the Latinos are moving in?
00:35:16.000Like, do you think they get upset about that?
00:35:18.000Like, you know, blockbusting with, you know, Latins?
00:35:22.000I think it's all about where people can move where they can survive.
00:36:44.000She got bonked in the head in a fucking mosh pit at some punk rock show at the Ratskeller.
00:36:49.000Yeah, I moved to New York with $400, and I got bedbugs the first year, landlord died of AIDS, and I got mugged three times in the first year.
00:38:15.000I just had to walk home, which took forever, and then I think I jumped the turnstiles, got home, and then you find your roommate, you call your mom, and she helps you.
00:39:26.000I talked to a cop about it like a month later and he was like, oh, those were drug dealers and they can't have some white kid getting killed in the neighborhood.
00:40:55.000And, you know, they all, like, appreciated him, and they'd come to give him respect, and, you know, they'd have this open display of the mafia in the form of fireworks.
00:41:38.000But it's based on the idea that we're all equal and that we all have equal rights and the laws are supposed to protect us from people committing crimes to us and stealing from us.
00:41:47.000Yeah, imagine if a mob guy knocked on your warehouse and was like, hey, hey, you gotta pay up.
00:45:04.000You know, women, they've got to get pregnant before this age, and they also want to have a career, but they want to get knocked up, but then the tits and the boobs and the butt and the waist, it sucks.
00:45:23.000Yeah, it's like society's trick, I'm not saying trick them, but trap them in a situation where not only do they have to have the babies, they have to create humans, and on top of that, they have to compete with men and show that they can.
00:46:06.000It's not that it's bad, because it's great that women have the option to do whatever they want.
00:46:10.000But what I'm saying is just historically, how recent is it?
00:46:13.000Because it seems like it's only within the last hundred years that women have had this sort of career, working alongside men in business, in the boardrooms, and making these big decisions, and being CEOs of companies.
00:46:29.000Which is great if you want to do that, and if you're good at it.
00:48:41.000Where they just put different kind of hot sauce on dudes' dicks and these girls are crying and snot's coming out of their nose and they're blowing guys who have like Dave's Red Hot.
00:48:50.000Yeah, that wouldn't be milk they're drinking though.
00:48:52.000Like, what's the most ridiculous one that they always have on the Hot Ones show?
00:49:00.000There's one that, like, Ari got me some of this shit that has a skull and crossbones on it, and I'm telling you, I'd have a bowl of, like, chicken noodle soup, and you put a fucking drop.
00:52:15.000I think she's like a Depression-era whore, because she would have a fridge with chicken bones and a box of cream, and she would make something.
00:53:42.000Bruce Lee's idea of Jeet Kune Do is like you take what's useful from whatever martial art and combine them.
00:53:47.000With Krav Maga, there's some of them, you know, some are more striking based, some are more grappling based in terms of what they teach in their classes, but it's essentially a combination of...
00:54:26.000Isn't it funny how the Jews really flipped when they got to America?
00:54:30.000You go to Israel and it's like chiseled, tan, tall, full head of silky hair, hot lady, and then in America it's just like diners and banks.
00:54:41.000Allergies and, you know, stuff like that and crazy moms.
00:54:46.000Well, I don't know anything about the Jewish lineage, the genetic lineage, but I would imagine there's a difference between the European Jews and the Israeli Jews.
00:57:39.000Yeah, and I'm going through red lights, I'm in the bike lane, I'm in the real lane, I'm all over the road, and I've got a podcast in my ear, I'm listening to Jim Jeffries or something while I'm zipping around, Malcolm Gladwell, you name it, and it's great!
00:59:48.000Isn't it kooky to think about when our parents were kids, how much time they spent on just getting somewhere or just writing a letter and then going to mail it, buying the stamp and then going to the post.
00:59:59.000We can knock all that shit out with click one email.
01:01:05.000It's not just that more people complain than ever before.
01:01:08.000I think you go to some poor town in India, even when they show the African kids with the distended belly, none of them are going, this sucks!
01:04:39.000But even if they did, if someone's just complaining to you privately, you're going to go back and forth with this one person from one show?
01:05:08.000And, you know, I think anybody using it to attack people, I mean, unless there's someone that really fucking deserves it, like they're doing something that's threatening democracy.
01:05:34.000I was explaining this to a friend, talking about negative stuff.
01:05:39.000Let's say your brain has 100 points of whatever the fuck it is that comprises your bandwidth.
01:05:46.000If you think about something negative that you could avoid, you have 10 points that are now dedicated to this stupid thing that's bouncing around your head.
01:05:54.000Now you only have 90 points for all the things you love.
01:06:26.000Because he got in, I don't want to bring up the whole SNL thing, because that's been done to death, but he emailed the guy or tweeted the guy and said, hey, let's talk.
01:06:36.000Like, I don't like what you did, but it's a teachable moment or whatever, and we can, let's see if you're really a bad guy.
01:06:42.000And I think that's the wokest thing of all.
01:06:43.000Instead of just going, fuck this guy, I'll kill him.
01:07:16.000Did Andrew Yang say that he, the solution, like one of the things to stop getting people to eat meat is to tax it so high and make it so expensive they don't want it anymore?
01:07:43.000No, listen, I enjoyed the shit out of talking to that guy, and I think he's right about universal basic income.
01:07:47.000I think we're going to run into a time where so many jobs are removed so quickly that people are going to be in a bad place.
01:07:54.000And I think that if there was something that...
01:07:56.000I could give them enough money for food and shelter and necessities so you could tide them over while they're looking for employment or try to change their life.
01:08:28.000I don't want you to tell me what to eat.
01:08:29.000Here's the thing, you can't say that because there's people that would, I mean, he's going to experience this.
01:08:34.000There's a whole group online called Defending Beef that talks about ranchers and the way people look at the cattle industry and that a lot of it has been sort of distorted.
01:08:45.000And one cow feeds a lot of fucking people.
01:08:54.000I don't know if people consider a cow to be a better life than a mouse.
01:08:59.000Use the whole buffalo is what I'm saying.
01:09:02.000If the cow is supposed to have a more important life than a mouse, but if you're buying grain, I can guarantee you that there's mice that have died in the procuring of that grain.
01:11:14.000I've got a chart on Sean Baker's page, Dr. Sean Baker, the guy who's the carnivore advocate, but it shows in a pie chart how much of the methane that's produced and how much of the effect on the environment is because of the ranching and cattle industry.
01:11:54.000I just don't like a guy who thinks he's going to fix the diet of everyone.
01:11:58.000Have you had any debates with people who are pro-carnivore or pro-omnivorous diet?
01:12:04.000People that have changed their health because they started eating organ meats?
01:12:07.000I mean, there's a guy named Chris Kresser.
01:12:09.000I've had him on my show a couple of times.
01:12:11.000He explains what goes wrong with a vegetable-based diet, with a vegan diet, with some people.
01:12:19.000Some people have these nutritional deficiencies and it leads itself to chronic illness.
01:12:24.000And it happened with him and he explains it.
01:12:26.000It doesn't mean that you can't live on a vegetable diet.
01:12:29.000The problem is people get cultish with this shit and they jump on, you know, they want you to think only the way they do and they have virtue in their way of living.
01:14:49.000He turned the back half into a bed and breakfast because we ran out of money.
01:14:53.000It was a crate we got robbed all the time because we were the white family in the neighborhood, and everybody thought we had money because of our big house.
01:17:28.000So Enos was like my male role model, you know, this big black guy in a wig.
01:17:34.000And one time I was riding home from summer camp, and, you know, these three street toughs, you know, were coming up next to me, three of them like, hey, man, let us try your bike.
01:18:33.000And he's like, we're going to find that bike.
01:18:35.000We're driving around, and we go some back streets, and we see these kids on a stoop taking it apart, because you've got to camouflage it a little.
01:18:42.000So I'm like, and he's like, is that your bike?
01:27:30.000The footage they have of World War I is unbelievable.
01:27:33.000And I'm not, like, a war buff or anything.
01:27:35.000It's unbelievable what these people went through and how they joked through it and how they had smiles and how they had to shit themselves and they got gangrene and they couldn't clip their toenails but the camaraderie and the fact that they wanted to go to war.
01:29:11.000This is their day off, and they said on their day off, they didn't know what to do.
01:29:14.000They just was like, we just were shot at for four years and bombed at, and now we're sitting here, and they said it was just silence the whole day.
01:29:20.000They didn't know what to talk about or what.
01:31:08.000The sense of camaraderie and of being alive and the excitement of life, it's like this heightened state.
01:31:15.000So many of them describe wartime, this horrific time, as some of the most memorable moments of their life, the happiest moments of their life, the most attached to their brothers and their comrades.
01:31:27.000It boils everything down to the basics of survival, and I think we've kind of lost that.
01:31:32.000Now we have so much, you know, we've got Dine and Dash, or whatever the hell you said, Diner Dash, whatever.
01:31:36.000You know, the McDonald's is coming right to you.
01:31:39.000Yeah, like, you don't have to, the survival, we've cushioned it so much that we're sitting up here on eight blankets, eight mattresses, where it used to be just, you're on the floor.
01:31:48.000Yeah, and I think the heightened experience of knowing that life is fleeting and seeing people die around you.
01:31:54.000I mean, I had a friend of mine who was from Israel, and he was always laughing and dancing and playing bongo drums and shit like this.
01:32:23.000It gives people a feeling of all the systems are firing.
01:32:28.000I think one of the things about people with sedentary lifestyles and no goals and no activity in their life is your body just starts to fall apart.
01:32:44.000It's like a dog almost, not to compare us to dogs, but if you don't give the dog, you know, the dog wants to hear what to do a little bit, you know?
01:32:50.000You've got to give it a little bit of order or else it's just like biting his own tail.
01:33:07.000It's not good for people also to be in these weird virtual environments all day long where you're talking to people without actually talking to people.
01:35:00.000I was walking to the comedy store to do some bullshit in the belly room, work on my Uber bit, and you pulled up and that fucking Chevy Corvette, the silver one, the Stingray, that thing...
01:36:30.000But I grew up, when I was a kid, I bought a 71 Cutlass Convertible Supreme, and it was the coolest car ever, but it would break down, you know, once a month.
01:45:23.000And if you could find the difference between the Tesla and the Porsche in daily driving, I think you're an asshole, because you're probably driving way too fucking fast.
01:46:06.000They're really just getting going with this shit.
01:46:08.000And if they made some breakthroughs with batteries, like the amount of juice you can get out of a battery, if they did that and had them thousands of miles of range instead of...
01:46:20.000The really good one today, I think, is like 315, I think, is the most you can get.
01:46:31.000Oops, sorry, GMO. I just recently heard, through something I was looking up, someone else mentioned on the podcast the other day, something about solid-state batteries being worked on right now.
01:46:39.000Have you ever heard anything about that?
01:49:46.000When I bought that car as a teen, a 71 Cutlass, it looked so good, but then the reality hits you, like, this thing's fucked up, the alternator sucks, and then the starter breaks, and then the rust and all that, like...
01:50:00.000I didn't think about all that as a kid.
01:50:13.000When I was a kid, one of the buddies in my neighborhood, his friend had a black with white stripes Chevelle, and he gave me a ride somewhere.
01:50:22.000I remember thinking about being in this guy's car, like, how could anybody...
01:50:35.000Just get up in the middle of the night.
01:50:36.000That car right there with the fucking, the black with the white stripes that he, when he slammed into that motorcycle rider, he was hauling ass all around the town.
01:52:47.000The point is, put that picture back up.
01:52:50.000This company Icon is going to take one of those and they're going to put a 2018 or 2019 chassis and engine from the 2 Series BMW. That's heaven.
01:53:03.000So that That little tiny little car will have probably a 350 horsepower engine and a modern suspension and modern brakes and modern transmission.
01:53:14.000He's in the process of building the first version of that right now.
01:55:06.000He's like wise and he does TM, you know, and he doesn't drink and he's like centered and he's got a family and he loves comedy and he's got his money and it's just he's a good guy to look up to as a comedian and like a business person.
01:55:23.000Where you want to be and as a man, where you want to be in life and how you want to be and what you want to be like.
02:00:57.000He said Ralphie was sitting on a big red beanbag chair and DiPaolo said, you look like you jumped out of a plane and landed on a coke machine.
02:02:56.000That's definitely a problem with some folks.
02:02:58.000But the actual racism is the real problem.
02:03:00.000Not, like, ensuring that there's diversity to the point where you're seeking it out and eliminating the better candidates that just happen to be a white woman or a white man.
02:07:08.000But they don't know anything about comedy, but they're all in a suit in a warehouse or a nice building downtown, and they go, this is what we should do.
02:07:29.000You've got a coffee machine over here, and you've got a nice car, and you want to keep your gig, and you want to seem like you're on the up-and-up, and you want to seem like you're evolved and on the right side, but you don't actually care about funny.
02:07:42.000Well, the problem is that they're involved at all.
02:08:31.000I'm funnier than you, and I know what's funny.
02:08:33.000If they are going to work for a company that is going to pay money, that's going to get involved in the comedy business, there's going to be a bunch of people who are not comedy people that are involved in the creation of comedy.
02:08:45.000And then their ego gets involved, and they want to change the suit and do this to the background, and we want to do this.
02:08:53.000I mean, Pat from the Black Keys was talking about it last night, that you'd get these record douches from fresh out of college, and they would want to change something in the sound.
02:09:04.000And you have this situation where you have this non-artistic person that's trying to influence your art, and they want to put their greasy little thumbprint in the corner of your art.
02:09:22.000If you're an executive at one of these networks, you're Comedy Central, and there's a show with a bunch of stand-ups, are you going to just let them do whatever the fuck they want?
02:09:31.000Are you going to give them some feedback?
02:09:33.000Well, they're going to want to give you feedback.
02:09:34.000They're the ones who are like, we get to decide whether this gets greenlit or not.
02:09:37.000Sure, and that's fair because it's their platform.
02:09:43.000There's no reason for them to be involved in the world of comedy.
02:09:46.000The whole idea of the network is always going to be hampered.
02:09:49.000They're going to be handicapped, except financially.
02:09:52.000They have studios and production value, and they have real directors, real producers that they work with, and they have a history, a long history of making real television shows.
02:10:01.000Exactly, which is impressive, and I don't have that.
02:10:23.000Before I get inundated with tweets about how I'm in a suit, and I was just on Fallon last night, which is the top of the heap of, you know, clean, corporate, whatever.
02:10:31.000To me, I just, people go, why do you do these late nights?
02:10:34.000And I go, because I want to see if I can pull it off.
02:10:37.000Let me see if they give all the restrictions, if I can still do it.
02:10:40.000It's like, yeah, I'll go in the octagon, but let's see if you can bare knuckle.
02:10:43.000And that's why I like to do these late nights, because I'm like, alright, they're going to tailor my act, they're going to tweak it and turn it and take this word out and fluff that word off, but if I can still kill with their bullshit, then I know I'm actually good at this.
02:10:57.000Does it annoy you, though, that you're giving up your material for some fucking stupid show?
02:11:01.000I mean, what are the numbers of people watching these shows now?
02:11:18.000You run that set for weeks and weeks and you hone it and you tweak it and you get an ending, an opening, and then you buy a suit and you go out there and you knock it out and you can flub on television, which is fucking terrifying!
02:12:26.000My bits are more stories that lead into other fucked up stories that I can't tell the third story until you've heard the first two stories, because you have to know how I fuck around about things.
02:13:25.000Other than podcasts, obviously, a totally different thing.
02:13:27.000But when I'm doing anything else I'm doing, if I was doing a TV show in the past, it was basically an advertisement to come see me in the clubs.
02:15:02.000You know when you wake up kind of early, and you didn't get enough sleep, but you just say, fuck it, and you get up, and then you get a ton of shit done that day?
02:16:31.000Comedy is one of those things that you can be a comedy fan, you understand and appreciate it, and never want to do stand-up yourself, but you've got to be in it.
02:20:32.000But how many times have you seen someone, especially comics, get into it with fans online and going back and forth with people and people shitting on them and they're shitting on them?
02:20:53.000Now, if you're a person, and you're bored, and you're 15, and you're going to school somewhere, and your stepdad's a piece of shit, and your mom's dumb, and she's on pills, and you're stuck, but you got an internet account, and all of a sudden, Mark Norman, this fucking cunt thinks he's funny, fuck you, Mark Norman, And they say something shitty to you and you're like,
02:21:10.000fuck you, your mom's getting fucked right now by some meth head.
02:21:52.000And people go, oh, these men or whatever want to be assholes on stage and they think they can say whatever they want in the name of comedy.
02:21:58.000No, no, we don't think we're anything.
02:22:19.000Because your definition of hate speech is not...
02:22:22.000If you call some guy some terrible name in your act because you're pretending to be your racist grandfather, that doesn't mean you're committing hate speech.
02:22:48.000If you don't like it, just don't eat at the restaurant.
02:22:50.000And I would argue, and this is a bold one, but I noticed that the shittier the guy on stage, like the jizzle neck, like the mean, dark, say the real dark shit, those are usually the best guys.
02:26:01.000Dude, it's so crazy, because they used to do their face, too, for continuity, but they can't do that anymore because of the outrage over blackface.
02:26:46.000They paint themselves like a dye and it gets in the skin and it shows all the muscles out and shows highlights and contrasts and everything.
02:27:59.000But if you just put it on YouTube like they did with Louis, and when all those comics were getting pissed at him for that Parkland shooting thing, just because you pushed some fat kid in front of the way, I'm like, look, if you were in that audience, that is a fucked up thing to say,
02:29:31.000It's like sometimes it seems like that's what you're really saying because it seems like you're just saying something because everybody can just say things.
02:30:33.000There's a little thing going on with, like, these people are almost, I don't want to say brainwashy, but there's like a reality is kind of gone a little bit.
02:30:40.000They're almost so wrapped up in their own horse shit that it's, I don't know, it's like taken over.
02:30:46.000There's certainly a little bit of the compliance thing going on.
02:30:49.000Yeah, and they build up from talking to each other.
02:30:51.000It reinforces it, and they kind of get more and more juiced up, and they go, fuck, this is real.
02:30:56.000Hey, and then you put the feel-goodness factor on top of it.
02:31:02.000And in this society now of rewarding people who will shut you down for, like, people want to call out a racist guy not because they hate racism so much, but because they know how many points it'll score them, I feel like.
02:31:14.000There's definitely that happening, too.
02:31:53.000Because if you get caught up in any bullshit, there's more bullshit for comics to think about now than ever before in terms of response from people.
02:32:01.000But there's also more avenues for you to put your shit out.
02:32:05.000I mean, you can just look at what Schultz has done.
02:32:09.000Andrew Schultz just put his fucking special on YouTube, and he went from doing pretty good in clubs to selling out in theaters and doing multiple shows in a night.
02:32:23.000But he found it, he figured out how to use it properly, and now you're like, oh, I don't even need those cunts over at this network that were telling me to wear the purple suit because it's funnier, and I like when your pants are too short.
02:33:07.000The thing about this Shane guy and this shit that happened to him, it's like, what they're doing is this unplanned shooting the shit conversation, you know?
02:33:18.000And they're from that Legion of Skanks sort of environment where everybody is constantly offensive and rewarded for it.
02:34:27.000I hooked up with a girl on Tinder years ago, and we were laying in bed after the sex, and she goes, I've got to tell you, your photo, you look like a serial killer.
02:36:31.000Will you imagine if augmented reality changed your shape?
02:36:34.000Imagine if I put one of those new Google glasses, augmented reality glasses on, and you looked like one of those bodybuilders with the white face and the chocolate body, but you were jacked and ripped.
02:36:44.000If I took the glasses off, you look like a normal guy.
02:37:03.000But you've got to realize the fun part is working on your body.
02:37:07.000It's like getting in there and fixing stuff and eating better and it's hard and you discipline yourself and you make it work and you turn down the ice cream and you get the kale.
02:37:31.000He was kind of a whiny dude anyway, but that was his shtick.
02:37:34.000But he fucked up, and he's a gay guy, and he said that we should stop looking at these gay thirst trap pages with all these guys that have these unattainable bodies and these unrealistic body types, and the gay folk went at him with the furor.
02:38:45.000When you make a point, and it's kind of offensive, but it's also hilarious, and they have to agree with what you're saying, because there's actually logic to what you're saying.
02:38:59.000Yeah, and especially now, if you can weave through, because I still have to perform for people who don't know who I am, and you've got to weave through that offensive blog and get to the punch and still get a laugh?
02:39:09.000It's like you went under the chicken wire on your elbows, and you got there, and the bombs are going off around you, but you still got to that punch.
02:41:04.000One of the cool things about the store is you'll get people that come back multiple times, and they'll say, hey man, I saw you do this bit five months ago.
02:41:55.000I like to play around with it on stage because you never know where it could go, and then you find a new thing because the audience and the laughter helps you go a certain direction.
02:42:29.000And then two, he said he would put pages out on the front of the stage, in front of the microphone, and it was all like a new bit, like note cards.
02:42:35.000And so he would go, joke, joke, joke, then he would try a new one, and then he would go, okay, joke one of the note card didn't work, and he just did that all night.
02:42:48.000Yeah, I would imagine, like, when he did a special, I wonder if he had those note cards out on the stage when he did it, because everything's non-sequiturs.
02:43:43.000You know, it's like, I don't think rice is funny, but when Hedberg goes, rice is great when you're hungry for 2,000 of something, that's fucking genius!
02:43:51.000So rice isn't funny, but you make it funny.
02:43:53.000It's the same with racism or the Holocaust or miscarriages or whatever.
02:46:14.000And God forbid you work for some place that's got a subscription model.
02:46:17.000So if you're writing for the Washington Post and the New York Times, and you can read a chapter, and it's like, if you would like to read more, please subscribe.
02:48:17.000And it stunts progress, because, you know, you might say a fact, like, you just read off Google, you know, you read off the census or whatever, and it says, like, the dropout rate with black children is through the roof or whatever, and then you say that, and people go, whoa, whoa, you racist!
02:48:32.000You're like, well, maybe if we work on that, we can solve this problem and help it, or, you know, like, I thought you cared about this group, like, let's try to, you know, it's like if we had a leaky pipe, and you're like, we gotta fix that, but whoa, whoa, what do you, hate pipes?
02:48:48.000But if you call somebody these horrible things, then the media picks up on that one little headline, that one tweet, and now you're fucked.
02:50:26.000I can just listen to that guy, because he makes science accessible, and I'm like, oh, he's so right!
02:50:29.000He took a sip of water, that water had a molecule in it from Abraham Lincoln, who fucked a kid, and that kid, you know, rode a donkey down a hill.
02:50:37.000I don't think Abraham Lincoln fucked any kids, bro.
02:51:03.000Like, you know, Moses sets up the rules when he gets on stage, and he says, when it's over, no physical, nobody gets physical, no pushing, no shoving, no hitting.
02:52:00.000That's another thing that people don't like to hear.
02:52:02.000Even though there is racism and sexism and murder and rape and crime all over the world, it is a fucking way better place to live today than it's ever been in history.
02:52:14.000You and I and everybody listening to this, we're all lucky that we're alive this time.
02:52:18.000This is the time where you don't have to worry about invading hordes of Mongols coming over the hills with swords and fucking bows and arrows.
02:52:27.000You don't have to worry about most things that people lived in fear of in terms of disease and injury.
02:52:54.000Yeah, there's a few problems, but there's also a bunch of whining cunts who fuck up everything because all they do is constantly complain, and they make you miss the beauty of life.
02:53:54.000And so if you've got this culture of compliance, where everybody is almost shamed and bullied into believing one thing, and pushed into this direction, And especially when the vast majority of tech is controlled,
02:54:11.000at least socially, by people that subscribe to very progressive ideas and very liberal ideas.
02:54:16.000And that's also a part of the culture of the people that are going to universities, and those are the people that are getting the jobs at Google, right?
02:54:26.000Yeah, and I'm a liberal cuck, douche, twat, loser, but I feel like you've got to have some common sense here.
02:54:33.000You've got to stay out of that weird fog that everybody gets in, and then the brainwashing happens, and they all start blowing each other, and it's chaos.
02:54:41.000Yeah, you've got to stay out of the weeds.
02:54:43.000And even that Andrew Yang guy talking about getting people to stop eating meat.
02:55:08.000I think if someone who could explain the nutrition requirement, like really explain, like a Chris Kresser guy, based on actual science, someone like Rhonda Patrick, no one...
02:55:20.000You're not gonna stop people from eating beef.
02:55:48.000And then every time you're trying to drive to the store, a bull comes and smashes into the side of your fucking car because it's got a heart on.
02:56:03.000How about we feed them grass, it's real healthy food, and if you believe a life is life, just one life is worth a life, well, you're responsible for way more death because you're responsible for birds and bugs and ground nesting birds and fucking rodents and anything that gets chopped bunnies,
02:56:19.000they get chopped up in those combines.
02:57:35.000You know, I think they supplement them with other food as well, and healthy food, but they don't behave like a scared animal that's trapped in a pen just freaking out.
02:58:39.000It used to be an animal that had to run for its life and the wolves would sneak up on them and they would tear their legs apart and start eating them asshole first.
02:58:50.000All herbivores that live in a farm environment, if they're free range, if they're grass-fed cows that are just wandering around, all of them I think?
02:59:21.000That's when they have a problem, when grizzlies and wolves find out about their cattle.
02:59:24.000So when the natural enemies of these animals encounter them in these encaged areas, then they have to keep them out.
02:59:31.000They have to protect these animals that they're going to kill from the animals that want to kill them.
02:59:46.000There's a food chain and a pecking order, and they're going to get eaten.
02:59:50.000But I don't think we should support factory farming, and I think they're right about that.
02:59:54.000I think when you see factory farming, you see the horrific conditions that some of these animals have to live in, and then they just...
03:00:01.000I mean, some of the pig farms, man, they flew a drone over one of them, and it had a lake.
03:00:06.000I mean, like a lake filled with pig shit and piss.
03:00:10.000And it was the most disgusting-looking fucking lake, and these animals were all stuffed into this area, and they would shit into this pipe, and the pipe would lead into these enormous lakes of pig shit and piss.
03:00:21.000And you're like, well, these are like these meat factories, these meat-slash-torture factories.
03:01:28.000He got on an anti-anxiety medication because his wife is dealing with...
03:01:36.000His wife's dealing with heavy cancer, like liver cancer, and she's been going through operations, and apparently she's doing well now, and he's trying to get off of this stuff, and when he tried to get off of it, he had such a horrible withdrawal that he,
03:01:53.000this is according to his daughter, It's on the news, yeah.
03:03:09.000It might actually be a smart thing to check yourself into rehab with people that know how to deal with it and help you through it, you know?
03:03:16.000I guess it's the same thing as Klonopin.
03:04:32.000So he must have been having panic attacks.
03:04:34.000Yeah, I mean, if it's the best time of your life, you know, you were an embattled professor fighting against social justice warriors and some sort of crazy law that was going to enforce 198,000 gender pronouns, and he was like, hey, this is crazy.
03:04:51.000And then he becomes a national celebrity, and people fight him and they're angry with him, but also people are realizing the extent of the chaos that's going on in these universities.
03:06:16.000To defeat capitalism, we are going to need a party that will organize working people to fight for the demands that we want and to win socialism.
03:07:42.000Every time I'm upset about something at my house, I'm going to say, point of privilege.
03:07:46.000Could you guys turn the volume down on your stupid, shitty show you're watching?
03:07:49.000Next time I get heckled at a show, I'm going to go, hey, you didn't say point of privilege before you called me a homo.
03:07:53.000When I was still working at a restaurant, they made it a point to tell us that at two restaurants, I sat us down, this is probably 2010, 2011, to stop saying, I've seen it come around now, again, to stop saying guys, to stop saying like, hey guys, what would you like to eat?
03:08:06.000They made us like folks, or like, don't use the word guys.
03:10:11.000And it was a great moment because it just showed we're so scared of not being on the right side and not being around and aware that you just lie.
03:12:31.000But if they could do that, they have those little flip phones today that Nokia just released a bunch of them that have a few Google apps in them.
03:12:38.000And I wonder if they just had voice-to-text.
03:12:41.000If they just had voice-to-text, you might be able to get by just talking your text messages out.
03:13:04.000I think most of these phones, like even these ones that are flip phones, are probably 3G and 4G. And I'm not saying they don't connect.
03:13:11.000I'm just saying by default they're not connected.
03:13:13.000My iPhone, I'm pretty sure it's connected to the internet right now all the time because all the apps are running.
03:13:17.000So when you're doing Siri and it's doing voice translation, it's connecting to an AI app that's translating your voice.
03:13:24.000And if you're not, like with that flip phone, if it's not connected to the internet, you'd have to have all of that stored on the phone.
03:13:29.000Now you have to have a big hard drive.
03:13:30.000Right, but that's the difference between that and notes, because notes is doing it right from your phone.
03:13:36.000You could have your phone on airplane mode, and you talk into the notes, and you could be on a plane, and you could say it, and it'll translate what you're saying.
03:13:46.000Well, you don't want to say your bit on a plane.
03:14:07.000I think Siri is actually doing a bunch of different shit, not just translating your text.
03:14:14.000Whereas this is translating your text.
03:14:15.000So if you're going to text message somebody, my point, they might be able to get that on a phone, have nothing to do with the internet, but you could just write a text out.