Nikki and her husband talk about their new dog, Marshall, and how they fell in love with him. They also talk about what it's like raising a dog that was rescued from a shelter, and what it was like to have a rescue dog in your life. Nikki talks about her experience with Marshall and how he s such a sweet, loving, and sweet little guy. Nikki also talks about how she got her first rescue dog, Luigi, from a pizza restaurant and how she adopted him from a kennel in order to give him a loving home and care for him. She also shares the story of when she adopted her first dog from a local shelter and how it s now a part of her family and how much she loves her new dog. We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you like it, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and we ll see you next week with our next episode! Thank you so much for listening and supporting this podcast, we really appreciate it. Love ya, bye! xoxo, Kristy & Matt Music: "P.S. - The White Noise" by Ian Dorsch and "Goodbye" by Fountains of Bakersfield, CA - "Good Morning America" by The Good Morning America and "The Good Fight" by PODCAST - "Thank you for coming to the Good Morning Goodness" by SONG: "Ladies and Good Life" by the Good Fight Crew (featuring: "The Badger Crew) & "PODCASTING" by Lizzie (feat. & "The Pizzazz . and is a new song written and produced by: "We'll See You" by Cute Girl ( ) and "I Can't Say Goodbye ( ) , "Thank You, Thank You, My Love & I'll See Me & I Love You, Please Send Us Back" by - The Good Lady ( ) are coming Soon ( ) & Thanks to: "Alyssa ( ) . ( ) ( ) , (Thank You & () ( ( & , "Pawher ( ) - Thank You ( ) ( Thank You & Thank You! (and ) ( ) and ( ), + (?) ( ) Thank you, Mr.
00:00:29.000I told you when he came in, I hadn't even seen you yet, and he just saw me, and it's like our eyes met across the room, and he just bounded towards me.
00:01:34.000And it really wasn't until we got Marshall, and then he saw me with a little tiny puppy.
00:01:37.000He's like, oh, this dude is all right.
00:01:39.000And then he wanted to play with Marshall, so he got close to me, and then I pet his head, and then next thing you know, he's hopping in my lap.
00:01:45.000And then, you know, after that, he would just run to me and literally jump in my arms.
00:02:56.000I just like went in too soon and it just was abused before.
00:03:00.000It came with this whole backstory of like, the rescue people told me it was found in an alley behind a pizza hut and it was living off pizza and a kid tried.
00:05:13.000I mean, they've, like, broken into, like, they're the type of people that, like, break into fucking supermarkets and release the lobsters back to the ocean.
00:08:07.000There's a lot of different things that you get from animals.
00:08:10.000Omega fatty acids from grass-fed animals, salmon and things like that.
00:08:15.000Choline, which is very difficult to get outside of animal products.
00:08:19.000B12, very difficult to get outside of animal products.
00:08:23.000Okay, my problem with, I don't care if you hunt, I don't care if you are on a farm and the animals are treated well, it's just all about how you treat them.
00:11:25.000You have any sort of a history of violence or combat sports or contact sports like football or anything athletic that's involving a lot of aggression.
00:11:38.000That's sort of inherently a part of who you are.
00:11:40.000And then where do you put that when you're not doing that anymore?
00:11:45.000Yeah, you were talking about this the other day with the boys, talking about Sober October, about how when you were last October doing five hours a day on a treadmill or whatever the hell you were doing.
00:12:40.000All of the pitfalls and psychological traps that your mind will lay for you if you don't give it a lot of activity, if you don't occupy it.
00:12:52.000I think that's a lot of what people go through in their life with anxiety, with all sorts of different issues.
00:12:58.000I think we have human reward systems that are built in that helped us survive from the fucking caveman days.
00:13:06.000And those are still a part of our DNA. And if those athletic requirements or physical movement requirements aren't met, your body just gets agitated.
00:13:40.000People look at it like intelligent people, unfortunately, a lot of them, look at it like it's a vanity thing and they don't want to be caught up in a vanity thing so they don't care about their body.
00:14:16.000And as soon as I learned meditation and the idea that my thoughts were not me and that they were these external things that I could choose to either indulge in or bat away, then I was able to really gain a hold over my anxiety and depression that I had not before when I thought my thoughts were just like,
00:15:46.000I was at a point in my life where it was like, this has got to stop because my hangovers were getting so ridiculous and debilitating for a whole day.
00:15:56.000I would black out from two drinks because...
00:15:59.000My mind, John Mulaney has a great joke about it where he says he would black out very quickly after a couple drinks because his mind was like, we know where this is going, shutting down early.
00:16:08.000Like, if you know you're going to black out, your brain just blacks out earlier.
00:16:16.000I woke up that next morning, and it wasn't a hard night of drinking a couple beers, but I was just the sickest I've ever been.
00:16:24.000And the thing about hangovers that I really had to look at was the best part about being sick, if you're going to find the best part about being sick, it's that people feel sorry for you.
00:17:27.000I heard about it, I think like Ellen DeGeneres and Ashton Kutcher.
00:17:31.000I heard a bunch of celebrities kind of talking about it.
00:17:33.000I read the book and you can smoke while you read it and then by the end of the book he just promises you he goes go have a cigarette and you're just like no I don't want to and I don't need to.
00:17:45.000His method is, and this is the thing he does with drinking, any excuse you have to do that thing, he talks you out of it.
00:17:52.000He tells you a reason why your excuse is actually bullshit and there's no science behind it.
00:17:57.000He disproves any reason that you have to do it.
00:18:00.000We've been brainwashed by tobacco and alcohol industries to believe that quitting is really hard.
00:18:09.000And quitting alcohol is hard if you have an addiction.
00:19:04.000It's the psychological effect of thinking it's hard that makes it then hard.
00:19:09.000So once he proves to you it's not that hard, and any excuse you have to smoke, which is like, it calms me down, it raises your blood pressure.
00:23:04.000And even retarded, it has nothing to do with Down syndrome, has nothing to do with diseases, and we've got a problem with that word in this country.
00:23:12.000I'm not going to call a movie the R word, but I can call a mental state the R word.
00:28:14.000But you should have been, like you said before, that should have been getting it out of your system and then you would have been placid on the road.
00:32:22.000And I really hope that I get this accomplished before I'm dying in 88 or something and my grandkids have to find a nurse to squat over my fucking bed.
00:38:21.000The only reason I record sets, I record every set, it's so that if I die, tragically, that my parents can use my recordings and make money from my lost tapes.
00:38:31.000Truly, I gave my parents my cell phone password.
00:38:59.000It's all about how much time and focus you put on stand-up, and there's probably a point of no return, or diminishing returns, where you can put too much work into it, and then it feels flat and stale.
00:39:12.000There were a couple jokes I did on the Degenerates taping that were brand new, and I just did them not because I needed to, but because I was like, these are more exciting to me than my old stuff.
00:39:26.000But then, a week after that, I'm like, it's even better, I've added more, and it's not better.
00:39:31.000The first version of it was always the best, and I'm glad I put that down, because sometimes it gets too convoluted, and you get away from the...
00:39:39.000I'm glad I got some of that stuff out there, because sometimes the first time you say it is...
00:40:35.000If you can be doing it a really long time and then you're like, I'm just not even this person where this came from anymore.
00:40:40.000But Bill Cosby, I remember him on that comedian documentary saying that he writes a joke and he adds one word and then as soon as it gets not funny he takes that word out and goes back to...
00:40:51.000But he was also raping everyone for many years.
00:40:56.000It's hard to say what he was really thinking when he was saying that.
00:41:01.000We were just talking about this, that some woman who's an attorney was saying that he may very well be the biggest serial raper in history.
00:41:54.000He never will, but I wish he would tell the truth.
00:41:56.000Like, I would love if, like, someone—I mean, he's so old now, it's going to be really hard, because I'm sure he thinks about his legacy, and he's full of shit.
00:42:03.000But I would love it if he could just say, like, what was going through his head when he would drug them?
00:42:10.000Like, did he think they were beneath him?
00:42:15.000I think it's a celebrity thing, because he always exhibited the weirdest parts of the celebrity situation.
00:42:23.000Like, he felt above people and privileged.
00:42:26.000I'll never forget, he was interviewing, Wanda Sykes interviewed him at some awards show, and he chastised her for the way she was talking to him.
00:42:35.000And he was wearing sunglasses inside, and he just had this arrogance about him.
00:42:40.000Like, here's Wanda Sykes, who's this hilarious comedian, and she's great.
00:42:44.000He should have been excited to talk to her, but instead he had this feeling that he was like this royalty, and he didn't appreciate her language or use of language.
00:43:01.000You know, I worked at a casino and they told me that he would eat dinner And he wanted the entire staff in his dressing room to watch him eat.
00:43:25.000That was actually more entertaining than the act he was taking around at that time, because I fell asleep seeing him one time, which was ironic.
00:43:33.000He came to my college and I fell asleep.
00:43:36.000This is why you were in school, though?
00:45:40.000Because I can't, I gotta have something.
00:45:42.000I was totally sober for several years and it felt great and I had the stamp of approval from the sober community and I don't say I'm sober, I just say I don't drink.
00:47:41.000And it's about how orgasms are ruining us and our relationships and our happiness.
00:47:47.000And it talks about I'm all for this right now, and it's a wild concept, and I've only read three chapters of this book, so I don't have all the information.
00:47:59.000But what I do know is that orgasms are this rush of blood, whatever.
00:48:05.000Your limbic system is all fired up when you have an orgasm.
00:48:09.000And everything we do in our lives to have stability and...
00:48:13.000You know, kind of lower anxiety and fight depression is about balancing that and not spiking it ever.
00:48:21.000So orgasms are throwing us off constantly.
00:48:24.000And we're not supposed to be having this many of them.
00:49:07.000If you're only attracted to them and horny, but you don't like them as a person, yeah, once you come, you're like, oh my god, I gotta get out of here.
00:49:12.000But if you like them as a person, once you come, you're like, that was great.
00:50:25.000There's not one person out there that's the perfect fit for everybody.
00:50:28.000But if you find someone who has the right slots for your hands, like it fits in like this, then you're good.
00:50:36.000But if it lands like this, where they have two things, like they have big tits and they like to fuck, but afterwards they're annoying and they talk too much.
00:51:25.000I'm like, what changed between me, us hanging out, you liked me, and then I sucked your dick, and now you don't watch my Instagram stories anymore?
00:53:17.000Why do you have an idea of what it was without asking?
00:53:21.000Well, I have asked and a lot of times or one time they've said and then I think it's actually tells me no a couple times actually I I get they're too vulnerable with me and then I've seen too much in terms of like they've let me in in a way emotionally that they've never let a woman in before and then they're like I remind them of the fact that they might have cried with me or something and then they don't want to be around anymore.
00:53:49.000That sounds like what I would say if I'm trying to get rid of somebody.
00:56:19.000Do you have any dogs or cats or anything?
00:56:21.000I had two dogs that I gave to my parents because I moved to New York City and moved to a tiny apartment, four-floor walk-up, and I just started wishing that they weren't alive, which is crazy.
00:56:53.000And my life was unmanageable with them, and I was paying so much money for dog walkers, I wasn't even seeing them, people coming in and out of my house, and then they were barking when I was gone.
00:57:02.000They just didn't have good lives, so I gave them to my parents and my sister.
01:02:06.000Yeah, but I would, if I could like the box where you press a button and five people die.
01:02:11.000If this would be like an episode of Black Mirror, if there was just a room, you go into a room and Bill Cosby's sitting there with his fucking cataracts.
01:05:19.000Dude, you know what's been happening to me?
01:05:22.000I have been talking with guys, texting with guys, FaceTiming, all these long distance stuff because I'm scared of intimacy, whatever.
01:05:34.000And I've been having these like really intimate moments with men where it's like our relationship reaches that like, oh, this might be something.
01:05:42.000Let's maybe meet up and we make plans.
01:05:44.000And I find out the next day they were and I think they're like maybe on my way to be my boyfriend and they were on Ambien and they don't remember any of it.
01:05:55.000I've been Ambien'd a couple times by guys that I'm like, they don't have a drinking problem, I'm finally engaging in a sober relationship or sober-ish, and they don't remember anything.
01:06:07.000And I'm like, we made plans to go to Mexico together.
01:06:58.000He finally saw what I saw the whole time.
01:07:02.000And the next day I'll make like, I'll kind of like be like, so last night, like one guy, we had phone sex for the first time we were like, and it felt like real sex.
01:07:09.000You know, sometimes it can feel very connected phone sex or FaceTime, Skype sex, whatever it is.
01:10:15.000It sounds like one person's account of it, and he didn't give his account of it, and he just tried to stay supportive of Me Too and all that jazz, but that guy got devastated.
01:11:19.000Emotionally, I think he's going to be fine.
01:11:21.000I think it's all, like, you're going to upset some people, they're going to protest, but it's not going to affect your ticket sales or how much people love you, and he knows that, and he's going to be quite alright.
01:11:30.000It's not the people that do love him, it's the people that hate him.
01:11:34.000It's like there's always going to be a certain amount of people that do love you.
01:14:25.000He says, but ten times a day people are still asking for my picture and autograph, so it's pretty good.
01:14:29.000So I don't think he's suffering that much, and I don't think he deserves to suffer that much.
01:14:34.000I'm just saying I think as many people hate him as maybe would have anyway because no one can be famous for too long without people hating them.
01:15:53.000It could have been an amazing bit, but some fuckhead had to record it and then put it on YouTube, and then you got guys like Judd Apatow yelling out about it, like as if this is like Louis' final statement on the subject.
01:16:04.000And it's this, especially by other comics, like that, I found that whole thing to be so fucked up.
01:16:30.000And I understand saying things that make people feel really sad and angry and they feel hurt by it and they write mean things to me saying that I've hurt their feelings.
01:16:40.000And it feels shitty when people hate you.
01:19:02.000Because Caitlyn Jenner heard the morning of, they had a call with her the morning of the roast, that she had heard, apparently someone's doing jokes about me and my car crash, and if they do, if I hear a single,
01:19:17.000that was a very devastating thing that happened to that family, and a woman lost her life, and if there's a joke about it, I will walk.
01:19:32.000Before I heard this, I was like, if she gets upset, because they were like, if she gets upset, there might be a moment where, you know, the cameras go to her.
01:19:40.000And the problem is, I was going first.
01:19:42.000And I was doing all the jokes about the car crash.
01:19:44.000Now, if I would have upset her first off, then the whole show is thrown off.
01:32:30.000But I used to definitely have imposter syndrome.
01:32:33.000You know, like, even when things are really good, like, I'd go to a sold-out theater and, like, they'd introduce my name and, like, as I was walking out...
01:33:48.000But if I don't, if I've had a lazy week and I'm performing and I'm making big bucks for a big deal and I haven't even looked at my set list or just...
01:34:02.000The way that I combat imposter syndrome is like I had a therapist one time say, who do you think that you are that you can fool all these people?
01:34:08.000You think these people are that stupid and you're so smart and you're tricking all of them?
01:34:12.000So I try to remind myself of that when I think...
01:34:15.000This audience doesn't fucking know how untalented I am.
01:34:17.000They're just here because they think I'm something.
01:34:41.000People always are like, other comedians are so mad at comedians who are hacks that have huge followings, and I'm like, dumb people need to laugh too.
01:36:41.000It's like people don't realize what a giveaway that is when they are talking shit.
01:36:45.000You're just like, ugh, this is just showing me that you fucking don't like yourself.
01:36:49.000Well, I figured out, there's something that I figured out personally, and that I try to relay this, and I try to be more clear and more concise the way I relay it.
01:36:58.000The way I look at it is that your mind, you have a certain amount of bandwidth.
01:37:04.000This is why I don't read Instagram comments or Twitter comments or YouTube comments.
01:37:12.000But to seek them out, you have bandwidth.
01:37:16.000I don't spend time wondering why I hate things or hating things or hating on someone or being jealous.
01:37:22.000You have, let's say, let's call it units.
01:37:24.000You have 100 units of bandwidth in your mind.
01:37:27.000So that means there's 100 units that you can spend on things you care about, or you could let your mind be occupied by some stupid fucking Twitter feud that you're in with some idiot that you don't even know, and you could spend 30% of your mind bandwidth on this,
01:37:44.000and then you only have 70% for the things you love.
01:37:47.000And then maybe you're involved in some fucking relationship with someone who's an idiot and you're arguing back and forth with them.
01:37:53.000Well, there's another 30% that's gone.
01:37:57.000You have 40% for the things you love instead of 100%.
01:38:00.000But if you only concentrate on the things you care about that mean something to you and learn how to do that, like you were talking about meditation, it's a form of meditation because you're learning how to avoid the little road bumps and the ditches on the side of the road.
01:40:38.000That's totally it, because the things that I get jealous of, and I'm better about it now than I've ever been, but you see other women.
01:40:46.000I mean, my jealousies are always with other women.
01:40:48.000It's just the way it is, and I have to fight it, and I'm really good about it now to be actually inspired by women who are funnier than me, but...
01:41:32.000And in that sense, as long as someone's not doing anything bad, as long as someone's not victimizing someone, what they're doing is they're showing you that it's possible to do better than you're doing.
01:42:31.000Because it's a challenge, and yeah, it's inspiring.
01:42:35.000I wanted to get back to the fact that I wanted to think of what's the last thing that derailed you in terms of bandwidth you were about to answer.
01:42:42.000Like, what's something that you had to kind of get out of your life?
01:42:44.000It's not a one instance, but it's a slow progression.
01:43:38.000Like, so you have to decide if you're going to concentrate and then put all your energy and broadcast to the world that you're involved in this altercation with this other person.
01:44:13.000And there's times where you're going to misstep or you're going to say something that's not correct or foolish or not as funny as you thought it was when you were thinking you were going to say it.
01:44:25.000But to engage constantly in swimming into the deep waters of other people's criticism and opinions, random internet people, it's like, goddammit, that's so much bandwidth.
01:44:46.000I've met people that are just like Googling themselves and reading their own internet comments all day long and just going crazy and fighting with people all day long and going crazy.
01:44:59.000It gets in, no matter how much you're like, fuck this guy.
01:45:02.000I was doing a live Instagram yesterday on the way to the airport, just talking to some fans, and one guy was like, wow, you look a lot better with makeup.
01:45:14.000Because I was like, no makeup on, looked like shit.
01:45:40.000And I had to admit, like, I was gonna think about that later and it might make me not do one of these again because I don't want someone to say something like that and bring it to everyone's attention.
01:45:52.000Since the last time I was here, and we talked a lot about my obsession with looks and being pretty or hot or whatever it is, I've let a lot of that go, but it's still there.
01:46:08.000I mean, how do you let go of that as you age?
01:46:12.000I mean, you definitely have some value wrapped up in your looks as someone who's attractive and fit.
01:46:20.000I think it's different for a man than it is for a woman because there's a lot of ugly dudes with hot wives because the ugly dudes are successful.
01:46:28.000There's very few ugly women with hot husbands because the guys are gay.
01:46:35.000Because why would a man ever be with a woman less attractive than him?
01:46:38.000Well, there's men that are with women that are less attracted with them because they're interested in their personality or their sense of humor.
01:47:01.000It's this guy in a tub, and he's like this older dude, and he's got this young lady that's sitting on his lap in front of him, and she's asking him what she likes in him.
01:53:22.000And when you've got a wife or a girlfriend who's fucking way funnier than you, not only is she funnier than you, she's fucking funny professionally.
01:53:58.000When you see an audience all watching this dude on stage and he's commanding them with laughter and controlling their emotions, you just get wet for it.
01:54:43.000And he even was like, I can't believe I'm saying this to you.
01:54:45.000And I was like, I like it because, yes, we remind you of your mom's.
01:54:49.000Female comics, if you've had an overbearing mom telling you like it is, what it is all the time, I would be like, shut the fuck up, ladies.
01:54:56.000I would hate female comics if I had an overbearing mother.
01:58:44.000And you're gonna say, I remember, I was at the fucking Comedy Store, it was 1.30 in the morning, the show, like, we were thinking about leaving, and this lady went up and murdered.
01:58:57.000But if you took that clip and then made a video out of it and put it on YouTube and a tiny little screen and watched it on your phone, you're not going to get the real feeling that Burt and I got sitting in the back of the room watching her.
01:59:41.000A lot of people don't do things because they think, oh, if I can't find a date or I can't find a friend, then I'm not going to go.
01:59:49.000So many people miss out on stuff and it's like I encourage people, go alone because I think it's so cool.
01:59:53.000It's also better because you don't have to check in on whoever you brought with you.
01:59:57.000Sometimes you just are like, I don't want to go alone, so you pick a bunch of people that you're like, what if they don't enjoy it and you're checking in on them and if you laugh too hard at something that's That you're like, oh no, they think I relate to that too much and you're worried the whole time.
02:00:09.000When you go alone, you're fucking free.
02:02:26.000Legitimately, especially with your legs.
02:02:28.000Like, women who know how to use their legs correctly, and they learn how to choke people with their legs, a guy tries to get on top of you, you could strangle him.
02:02:53.000I'll just start talking and trying to psychoanalyze him.
02:02:56.000And be like, you're only attacking me right now because your mother didn't love you enough and you hate women and I remind you of your mom in some way that set you off and now you're trying to rape me.
02:03:17.000That's what I like about your Sober October, the challenge to do a new class where you're like, it's maybe not an athletic adventure, but what are you going to learn?
02:04:30.000But learning it correctly from these people and how to hold the gun correctly to stabilize it and how you're supposed to stand and how you're supposed to lean in and watching men and women do it correctly and show you.
02:04:45.000This is something I don't know anything about.
02:04:46.000It's It's so exciting when you get one little nugget and it just all of a sudden changes everything and you're like, I would have never figured that out on my own with millions of years of practice.
02:05:02.000And you're just getting your toes wet on the first day and you're like, oh my god, there's so much to learn.
02:05:08.000I'm going to a voice doctor right now because I don't want to ruin my instrument, which I'm now starting to look at it as an instrument that I was never taught how to play.
02:05:17.000I'm just freestyling on this fucking saxophone.
02:08:14.000There's a fucking archery game where there's a Kevlar screen and I have these different broadheads that are flat at the end like the head of a nail.
02:08:51.000Figuratively and literally, because there was holes in the show, because when they would talk, the only reason why they were there was they were a woman.
02:08:59.000Someone like, we need a woman on the show, so they'd get some chick, and she would just say, I just feel like you guys are not letting me talk.
02:15:13.000I was going through this period of time where I was getting massages from dudes because girls just are not good at getting into the deep muscle.
02:15:20.000So I'd get these deep tissue massages from dudes.
02:15:23.000But, you know, it was just when we were staying in a hotel, I got a massage and I came back upstairs and said, fuck, I left my wedding ring back down there.
02:15:30.000So I went back down to the locker room to get my wedding ring and she goes, where was it?
02:18:18.000I mean, I've had guys ask me out or propose that we should date because they're like...
02:18:25.000There was this one guy recently who discovered me in one day and he knew he was going to see me that night at the meet and greet at the show.
02:18:32.000And I think he had seen my roast kind of went viral last week or two weeks ago.
02:18:36.000So he saw that and he was like, oh my god, she's in Irvine tonight.
02:18:39.000And he bought a meet and greet ticket and he listened to me all day.
02:18:42.000He was like, I listened to you on Rogan for three hours, then I listened to this podcast.
02:18:45.000I mean, he was listening to me all day.
02:18:47.000So for him, we spent a whole day together where I was telling him all my deepest insecurities.
02:18:52.000I mean, I get real on these things and people...
02:18:56.000And then he comes to the meet and greet and his energy is so strong and like, we should be together type energy.
02:19:01.000Like, he didn't say that, but he's just like...
02:19:04.000I just go, this guy spent all day with me, and I don't know him at all.
02:19:07.000And I knew that going in, and I kind of just shoot him.
02:19:10.000We took a picture, it was nice, but I was like, he came the next night again, because you could tell he went home and was like, I blew it, my one shot.
02:19:17.000And he bought a meet and greet again, which I'm like, you sat through this show again?
02:19:29.000But that's a weird thing, when someone tries to touch you low on your waist, like right by your butt, and they can't wait to touch your butt.
02:19:35.000They're like, let me just touch the top of her butt.
02:19:37.000I'm grateful that anyone even thinks I have an ass worthy to touch, because I have such a flat ass, so when it does get touched, I'm kind of like, flattered.
02:19:48.000It ultimately makes me feel not good at all.
02:19:51.000I mean, my friend Andrew will be watching me, because it's happened so many times where guys casually just put their hand on my ass when they're taking a picture.
02:20:00.000I'll have security guards watching, and I'll be like, well, you just watch for men touching me in weird places, because it's always weird for me to call out, because it's in front of their wife, and I don't want to embarrass them and make it a thing.
02:20:10.000So I just go like, I'd rather someone else call it out, and security guards will watch, and I'll walk up to them and be like, did you not see that guy?
02:20:17.000And I'm like, it's so stealthy and subtle, the way that a guy can put his thing, just his...
02:20:24.000This is what they do your back and then when they're done with the picture they'll just go like like their hand will like oh I'm just my hands just gravity and it'll graze your whole backside and what it does is just like god man you don't respect me I just was on stage you paid to see me you had to sit and be quiet the whole time I demanded a sort of respect in that moment and you've just taken that from me it just makes me feel gross I don't know if it's that they don't respect you,
02:20:49.000it's that they're trying to get away with it.
02:20:50.000They think like, maybe she won't even notice, so I just let my hand go limp and just go down her thigh.
02:22:13.000You get a smart person with five drinks and I'm like, the wrong fucking thing, weird fucking secret desires that never get revealed all of a sudden come popping up.
02:22:35.000I think no one's better two drinks and more.
02:22:37.000Like maybe men because you have a little bit more tolerance, but it's around two drinks where I'm like, I love a person up until two drinks.
02:23:18.000It's always about what you're gonna do.
02:23:19.000It's always about who's fucking you over and who's keeping you from doing this and you're gonna do that and you know this because you're smart and everybody else is stupid but you're not.
02:27:39.000I think most of these psychedelics where you have bad experiences, what you're having is your own psychological dilemma and then your battle with whatever the drug or the psychedelic is trying to do to you versus what your ego is trying to control and keep it from happening.
02:27:58.000I mean, I've seen a lot of people have bad trips.
02:28:03.000Some of the worst trips I've ever seen people have was from edible pot.
02:28:06.000Edible pot is one of the strongest things that people don't recognize.
02:28:11.000It's a very different drug than smoking it.
02:28:13.000And when you think of things that can take you down the rabbit hole, you don't think of edible pot.
02:28:21.000People think of pot as just like, oh, you're going to get high.
02:28:23.000Maybe you can get too high, but you're just getting high.
02:28:26.000But when you eat it, it's a completely different animal.
02:30:18.000I've seen him just like ask about my life and be like interested and I'll like open up to him and then he'll like use it against me later on.
02:36:50.000But whether or not he can accept that without the alcohol, whether or not he can embrace that without the alcohol.
02:36:56.000He's not an alcoholic in the sense that he's not addicted to alcohol, because he did quit two years in a row for a whole month without a problem.
02:37:26.000But I just, you know, I reasoned, because quitting drinking for me, it felt like so much of my identity to drink, and I talked about it on stage.
02:37:35.000I mean, it wasn't anywhere as wrapped up as Bert is in it, but...
02:38:05.000If I get on Zoloft, if I talk to someone about my issues, if I talk about the anger I have towards my father, am I going to be funny on the other side of it?