The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1367

00:00:03.000 Hello, Bridget.

00:00:04.000 Hello, Joe.

00:00:05.000 What's happening?

00:00:06.000 Nothing.

00:00:06.000 I'm so excited.

00:00:08.000 We made it happen.

00:00:08.000 We did.

00:00:08.000 We made it real.

00:00:09.000 Happy Sober October.

00:00:10.000 This is the first podcast ever where Marshall is in the room.

00:00:13.000 Oh my gosh, I feel so honored.

00:00:15.000 We are honored.

00:00:16.000 This is a special one.

00:00:17.000 He's just exhausted and I knew he wanted to just lie down next to me.

00:00:21.000 My dog always comes through the YouTube show, and we're always like, oh, she's going to knock over the lights in the middle, but you see her come in and out in the edits.

00:00:28.000 Well, when Red Ben and I used to do the podcast back in the day, we used to do it in my office in my house when my kids were really little.

00:00:33.000 So I'd hear, like, screaming and crying in the background, you know, she took my toy!

00:00:38.000 Something like that, you know?

00:00:40.000 So, thanks for doing this.

00:00:43.000 Thank you.

00:00:43.000 How's Sober October going?

00:00:45.000 It's great.

00:00:45.000 I want to thank you for doing that.

00:00:47.000 Why's that?

00:00:48.000 Because it creates a community and it's super cool for people to just have that month of clarity.

00:00:54.000 I just think it's really cool.

00:00:55.000 I'm grateful.

00:00:56.000 It's my sober birthday in October.

00:00:59.000 How many years?

00:01:00.000 Six years.

00:01:01.000 That's a lot.

00:01:02.000 No, that's insane.

00:01:04.000 You said weed's the hardest part?

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:07.000 Are you sure you need to be sober from weed?

00:01:09.000 Yeah, I've tried.

00:01:11.000 Because here's the thing.

00:01:12.000 Here's the kind of, you really want to know what kind of addict I am.

00:01:16.000 I can do it for a while.

00:01:18.000 So I was in rehab when I was 19 for heroin.

00:01:22.000 And I started using everything when I was 12, 13 years old.

00:01:27.000 Well, not everything.

00:01:28.000 But I mean, I started drinking and smoking weed.

00:01:30.000 Where'd you grow up?

00:01:31.000 All over.

00:01:32.000 I moved every year and a half.

00:01:33.000 It's a long story.

00:01:34.000 My whole thing sounds like an improv and like I'm making it all up.

00:01:38.000 But it was just chaotic upbringing.

00:01:40.000 But I'm from the East Coast and then I graduated from high school in Minnesota.

00:01:44.000 So to give you, we just moved a lot.

00:01:46.000 I went to like 11 schools in 12 years.

00:01:49.000 So I started drinking really young.

00:01:52.000 I started smoking weed right around when my parents got divorced.

00:01:55.000 And then I was pretty much a daily smoker from the day that I found weed.

00:01:59.000 It was like, ah!

00:02:01.000 Really?

00:02:02.000 Oh my god.

00:02:03.000 Like 14. I loved it.

00:02:05.000 So was it a release?

00:02:06.000 Was it an escape?

00:02:07.000 Was it just a perturbance of normal consciousness?

00:02:11.000 You know, my upbringing was kind of chaotic.

00:02:14.000 And honestly, I think that I owe Weed a debt of gratitude because I don't know that I could have been fully present for what was going on in the house.

00:02:26.000 And not like killed myself or done something worse.

00:02:30.000 It was just too much for like a small developing brain to handle.

00:02:34.000 And we put enough of that nice like fuzzy distance between me and the like chaos.

00:02:40.000 That's a good name for a band.

00:02:41.000 Fuzzy distance.

00:02:42.000 Fuzzy distance.

00:02:44.000 I'm going to start it.

00:02:46.000 It's just going to be me alone crying on stage.

00:02:48.000 God damn, I had no idea.

00:02:50.000 And so it was good, except then it escalated after I was drugged and raped when I was 18. Oh, Jesus.

00:03:00.000 Sorry, not to get heavy.

00:03:02.000 It's part of my story.

00:03:03.000 It's horrible.

00:03:04.000 But bad shit, like one of the things that I've had to come to terms with is, you know, I don't blame myself for that happening.

00:03:10.000 But I do have to take responsibility for the fact that when you're a woman or a girl and you're out getting blacked out, and in this instance, you're around people who are bad, things happen.

00:03:23.000 That are not good.

00:03:24.000 It sucks, but if I had daughters, I would be like, watch your fucking drinks, and be careful, and try not to black out, because you don't know what is going to go down.

00:03:38.000 There are so many people that I know that have been drugged.

00:03:42.000 Yeah, I know.

00:03:43.000 I know.

00:03:44.000 The thing about that that's so weird to me, well, A, I try and make light of everything because I have to in order to survive.

00:03:53.000 You're a comedian.

00:03:53.000 And I'm from the East Coast.

00:03:55.000 It's just how I handle shit.

00:03:56.000 Like, my family's from Rhode Island.

00:03:58.000 My dad's one of ten.

00:04:00.000 It was a roast battle growing up, you know?

00:04:02.000 Like, you either, if you were the sensitive one, they're like, oh, you're gonna cry about it!

00:04:08.000 You couldn't survive.

00:04:09.000 You had to just be, like, on top of it.

00:04:12.000 That is Rhode Island, Boston, Connecticut.

00:04:14.000 You can't!

00:04:15.000 You're getting roasted, and you either keep up, or you're like, you're out.

00:04:19.000 You're the loser in the family.

00:04:20.000 And you're drinking, too, obviously.

00:04:22.000 Oh, for sure, heavily.

00:04:23.000 So, I unfortunately was like, if you're going to do that, use enough to make sure that I don't come to in the middle of it.

00:04:33.000 Don't be an amateur, bro.

00:04:35.000 Because I have memories of it and it kind of came too.

00:04:38.000 So, it was like, I would have preferred just the nothingness of it being launched, like stuck in my subconscious, I think.

00:04:45.000 So, what was the whole Cosby situation like for you then?

00:04:48.000 Oh, I wrote a whole thing about it because...

00:04:52.000 I wrote this piece on Medium, Bill Cosme raped me kind of, because when all that stuff came out, I was like, oh really ladies?

00:05:07.000 You're going to come forward now?

00:05:09.000 And I had to stop and evaluate my own cynicism.

00:05:14.000 And just response to that.

00:05:16.000 And writing is pretty much how I process everything.

00:05:19.000 It always has been.

00:05:20.000 And so I'm like, I'm just going to write about this and see what comes through.

00:05:24.000 And essentially it was that internalized shame that I had been holding onto.

00:05:29.000 I was projecting it onto these women.

00:05:32.000 Because if a bunch of girls from Minnesota came forward and said, this sleazy dude drugged us and raped us back in the...

00:05:42.000 Yeah, I'm 40. So yeah, it was like the 90s.

00:05:46.000 I would come forward and support them and support of that if it was the person who did it to me.

00:05:52.000 I wouldn't be like, come on, ladies, it's a little late for this now.

00:05:56.000 But that was my kind of gut instinct.

00:05:58.000 Why do you think that was?

00:06:00.000 Like I said, I think it's internalized shame.

00:06:02.000 I think I just...

00:06:03.000 I had not forgiven the girl in me, the young girl in me who blamed myself.

00:06:12.000 I didn't tell anyone when it happened.

00:06:15.000 I woke up and I'm lucky I'm not dead.

00:06:18.000 I'm lucky I made it to get sober six years ago when I look at how my trajectory was.

00:06:25.000 And so...

00:06:26.000 I ended up kind of coming to.

00:06:30.000 And the weird thing about roofies is that you don't really remember.

00:06:32.000 So I thanked the guy for having it.

00:06:34.000 I was like, oh, thanks for letting us crash in this place I didn't even mean to crash at.

00:06:40.000 And then things started coming back.

00:06:44.000 And one of my friends, I think something happened to her too.

00:06:48.000 And it's crazy I'm telling this story just based on what happened last week.

00:06:52.000 So...

00:06:56.000 We went to the Apple River, which was this place in Minnesota, and I got blackout drunk for the next five days.

00:07:02.000 I couldn't handle it.

00:07:04.000 I felt ashamed because I was drinking underage.

00:07:06.000 I was working in a restaurant.

00:07:08.000 I had a lot of older friends.

00:07:10.000 We were downtown Minneapolis.

00:07:12.000 I felt super cool.

00:07:14.000 And my friend and I both have the exact last memory.

00:07:17.000 And then I have memories of crawling around on the floor and trying to find a phone.

00:07:22.000 Just bad things.

00:07:25.000 I always hesitate to tell them, too, because I know there are guys out there like, yeah, tell me more.

00:07:30.000 Just kidding.

00:07:32.000 Defensive mechanisms.

00:07:34.000 And, yeah, so then I just went bananas.

00:07:37.000 I started doing hard drugs that year.

00:07:40.000 And you think you did that as a response to that?

00:07:42.000 Oh, yeah, definitely.

00:07:43.000 I mean, I think I just was trying.

00:07:45.000 I was already running from so much.

00:07:48.000 There had already been my...

00:07:49.000 And that was like a tipping point?

00:07:51.000 Yeah, my stepdad was a little crazy.

00:07:54.000 I don't really publicly talk about it all that often, but it was like, whatever.

00:08:00.000 Like, crazy stepdad.

00:08:02.000 I think you can figure things out.

00:08:06.000 And it was really chaotic, and then that kind of escalated my drug use.

00:08:13.000 I found hard drugs.

00:08:15.000 And, like, then I tried speed and meth and I hated it.

00:08:20.000 Because my brain already races.

00:08:21.000 I don't need any help with that.

00:08:24.000 That's rare, though, that somebody doesn't like speed and meth.

00:08:26.000 Ugh!

00:08:27.000 I hated it.

00:08:28.000 Most people don't get on that stuff.

00:08:29.000 No, no, no.

00:08:30.000 You got lucky.

00:08:31.000 I loved heroin.

00:08:32.000 I didn't get lucky.

00:08:34.000 Well, heroin is like that maternal womb thing, right?

00:08:37.000 I think it's also, I don't need stimulation for my brain.

00:08:43.000 I always wanted relief from this.

00:08:47.000 Were you snorting it?

00:08:48.000 What?

00:08:49.000 Heroin.

00:08:50.000 Yeah, and smoking it.

00:08:52.000 Did you ever get to the point of shooting it?

00:08:54.000 It was right before I quit.

00:08:57.000 So, once.

00:08:58.000 And then I was like, I'm going to die, essentially.

00:09:01.000 Because you realized, like, I've become that person.

00:09:03.000 I was 89 pounds and 19. I totally had, like, one of those Hallmark movie moments.

00:09:07.000 I had been out here with a boyfriend, and he had a movie, and we were just...

00:09:13.000 Like, it was like a Sid and Nancy movie.

00:09:17.000 I was doing so much blow, I had delusions of...

00:09:20.000 He had a movie, meaning he was making a movie?

00:09:23.000 He was in one.

00:09:24.000 He was in a movie.

00:09:25.000 And we were out here, and it was just chaos, and we were like...

00:09:29.000 It was the shit that I did.

00:09:33.000 How did you get into comedy?

00:09:35.000 That was not for a while, thank God.

00:09:38.000 I got dared to do that in 2010, basically.

00:09:42.000 Really?

00:09:43.000 So somebody dared me to do it in the comedy stores where I popped my cherry.

00:09:47.000 It was on one of those bringer shows, and it was an absolute shit show.

00:09:53.000 Every fucking stereotype that you ever heard, people were doing blow in the green room.

00:10:00.000 You were in the belly room then.

00:10:02.000 No, it was on the main stage, but it was one of those, like, me.

00:10:05.000 It was in, like, the years before the research.

00:10:08.000 Oh, that's when I was gone.

00:10:10.000 Yeah, you weren't around.

00:10:11.000 I was gone from 2007. Yeah.

00:10:13.000 So you got there in the darkest days.

00:10:15.000 Oh, it was fucking dark.

00:10:16.000 They say the darkest days were, like, 2007 to, like, 2012. It was dark.

00:10:21.000 And then my set went okay enough that I decided I wanted to do it again.

00:10:26.000 But that was many years after the trajectory.

00:10:30.000 So long story short, I ended up in rehab at 19. And I was there for seven months.

00:10:37.000 Seven months?

00:10:38.000 I was in a halfway house.

00:10:40.000 So you were arrested?

00:10:41.000 No, I put myself in a halfway house, but it was like...

00:10:44.000 How does that work?

00:10:45.000 Can you put yourself in jail?

00:10:46.000 No, it's not jail.

00:10:48.000 Then how come you can put yourself in a halfway house?

00:10:50.000 Because a halfway house is like that in-between jail.

00:10:52.000 It's not mandatory.

00:10:54.000 So they let you put yourself...

00:10:56.000 They're like, hey, look, I'm fucked up.

00:10:57.000 You mind if I just hang out here for a while?

00:10:59.000 I couldn't go home because of my home stuff.

00:11:02.000 And so I basically, after two weeks, my insurance was up and they're like, okay, you're free to go home.

00:11:09.000 I'm like, nah, I can't go home.

00:11:10.000 I'm going to do drugs in like two minutes.

00:11:12.000 And so...

00:11:14.000 They let you stay?

00:11:15.000 No, I took a bus and put myself on general assistance.

00:11:18.000 And Minnesota, the joke is it's a Minnesota land of 10,000 treatment centers.

00:11:22.000 It's like a great place to get sober.

00:11:24.000 And so I put myself on basically welfare.

00:11:27.000 And then I found a place.

00:11:29.000 And I'll never forget it.

00:11:31.000 I called this place and the woman answered and she was like, I was like, hi.

00:11:34.000 And I had had some guys try to do stuff to me.

00:11:36.000 So I was looking for an all-woman's place.

00:11:39.000 And this woman was like, you ever heard of boot camp?

00:11:44.000 I was like, sounds perfect.

00:11:47.000 I needed that structure.

00:11:48.000 I needed something.

00:11:49.000 And so they, I basically, because I was on welfare, they accepted me.

00:11:54.000 And it was like me and I was the only white girl.

00:11:57.000 I was by far the youngest.

00:11:58.000 It was, it was basically a lot of women just who the judge said, like, go to this program for three months and you won't go to jail.

00:12:08.000 It was nuts.

00:12:09.000 Dude, that's an education.

00:12:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:11.000 I mean, I realized what a privileged little spoiled brat I was, that's for sure.

00:12:15.000 But I also hide behind that, so I never wanted to share anything.

00:12:20.000 And they're like, it's all relative.

00:12:22.000 Everyone has their problems.

00:12:23.000 And I'm like, yeah, but these stories versus mine, they're not...

00:12:26.000 I feel like I just had too much.

00:12:30.000 So your stories you couldn't even share.

00:12:32.000 And then I started sharing them, and they're like, damn, white people are fucked up!

00:12:40.000 And that was when I learned, it was really an early lesson in all this intersectional bullshit.

00:12:45.000 It was a very early lesson for me that it doesn't matter.

00:12:49.000 It does not matter what color your skin is.

00:12:52.000 When you're an addict or when you're at rock bottom, we're all humans just fucked up trying to get out of our own way.

00:13:01.000 And so that was an interesting experience.

00:13:03.000 And then I got and my car moved to L.A. Well, your fucking Twitter feed is hilarious.

00:13:10.000 You have one of my favorite Twitter feeds.

00:13:11.000 Thanks!

00:13:12.000 Wow, that's an honor.

00:13:12.000 I either like or retweet your shit all the time.

00:13:15.000 I love...

00:13:16.000 Well, I was recently in D.C. and somebody...

00:13:20.000 They said that, oh, this is Bridget.

00:13:24.000 She's a Twitter celebrity.

00:13:25.000 And I was like, what the fuck?

00:13:27.000 I've never wanted to kill myself more.

00:13:29.000 There's nothing wrong with being a Twitter celebrity.

00:13:31.000 Marshall's trying to say hi to you.

00:13:32.000 Hey, buddy.

00:13:33.000 Hey, buddy.

00:13:34.000 I didn't even notice he got up.

00:13:35.000 I'm sorry.

00:13:36.000 He's my best friend now.

00:13:39.000 Marshall's everybody's best friend.

00:13:40.000 How dare you, Marshall?

00:13:42.000 Yeah, he's a ho.

00:13:43.000 Yeah, that...

00:13:45.000 I forgot where we were.

00:13:46.000 Sorry, you were talking about how...

00:13:48.000 I got distracted by Marshall.

00:13:50.000 Intersectional...

00:13:50.000 Oh!

00:13:51.000 Yeah.

00:13:52.000 Hi, Marshall.

00:13:52.000 Come here.

00:13:53.000 I just don't want him to get caught on the wires.

00:13:54.000 No, I know.

00:13:55.000 He wants to play because I was playing with him.

00:13:58.000 Hey, buddy.

00:13:58.000 You can play.

00:14:00.000 You want to lie down?

00:14:01.000 Yeah, I just don't want them to get in the way.

00:14:03.000 So you were saying that you realize that everybody has their problems.

00:14:06.000 It doesn't matter if you're black or white.

00:14:08.000 Yeah, I really learned a lot.

00:14:10.000 Those women, it was run by lesbians.

00:14:11.000 They taught me some shit that stuck with me my whole life, like cluttered room, cluttered mind.

00:14:17.000 I loved that one.

00:14:18.000 It was basically like, they were very strict.

00:14:20.000 But what happened was I learned how to be a really crafty drug addict.

00:14:25.000 So I was like, well, as long as my room is clean, I don't have a problem.

00:14:29.000 Because I came to LA at 19, or 20, I guess.

00:14:33.000 And this was like 2000. And I started interning at this website called Buddyhead.

00:14:42.000 It was like this old music website, and they were all punk, and they had the number one gossip site for music in town at the time.

00:14:50.000 And everybody was obsessed with this website.

00:14:55.000 I have a feeling Marshall is a distraction here.

00:14:58.000 He seems like a little bit of a distraction.

00:14:59.000 He seems a little restless.

00:15:00.000 Buddy, come here.

00:15:02.000 Come here, pal.

00:15:03.000 Come here.

00:15:04.000 He's so cute, though.

00:15:06.000 I can't bear to kick him out.

00:15:08.000 Say hi to people.

00:15:12.000 Hi!

00:15:13.000 That, ladies and gentlemen, is the sweetest dog in the world.

00:15:15.000 Seriously.

00:15:16.000 You've been asking for him to be on the show forever.

00:15:18.000 He'll do the rounds.

00:15:20.000 He'll go to you.

00:15:21.000 Hi, what are you doing in here?

00:15:22.000 He'll go to you, he'll get pet, and he'll go to Jamie, he'll get pet.

00:15:25.000 But I just don't want him to interrupt the conversation.

00:15:28.000 No.

00:15:28.000 It's a little bit of a distraction.

00:15:29.000 That's fine.

00:15:30.000 I'm all over the place.

00:15:31.000 And I don't want him to yank any wires out either.

00:15:32.000 Hey, he's going to Jamie now.

00:15:34.000 Told you.

00:15:34.000 Doing the rounds.

00:15:36.000 That's what he does.

00:15:38.000 They're such like love sluts.

00:15:40.000 It's amazing.

00:15:41.000 Goldens are love sponges.

00:15:42.000 So is my boxer.

00:15:43.000 She'll go sleep from one bed to another to another.

00:15:46.000 She gets all the love.

00:15:48.000 Well, he's not allowed to sleep in beds.

00:15:50.000 Yeah, that's smart.

00:15:51.000 But he's very loved.

00:15:54.000 I've never had a dog like that before.

00:15:56.000 They're just so different than any other dog I've ever had.

00:15:59.000 He's just a constant, friendly lover.

00:16:02.000 He never gets annoyed with you.

00:16:04.000 He never wants to go lie down.

00:16:05.000 He's always happy when you say hi to him.

00:16:06.000 You just start talking.

00:16:08.000 Pure, unconditional.

00:16:10.000 Yeah, I mean, it's crazy that those used to be wolves.

00:16:13.000 I know.

00:16:14.000 They've turned them into this thing.

00:16:15.000 I know.

00:16:16.000 They domesticated themselves!

00:16:18.000 Sort of.

00:16:19.000 Didn't they?

00:16:20.000 Yes.

00:16:20.000 It wasn't like a mutual thing.

00:16:22.000 Well, initially, but, you know, there was actually a display going on right now that I went to last weekend at the, what's that science museum in LA? What is it called?

00:16:31.000 Science thing?

00:16:32.000 The one downtown?

00:16:33.000 Yeah, it's downtown.

00:16:34.000 The one next to the arena, the football arena?

00:16:37.000 I think it's the California Science Center.

00:16:39.000 Whatever it is, there's a whole thing on dogs.

00:16:43.000 Okay.

00:16:43.000 And it's a whole thing on, there's one of them, it shows how dogs became dogs from wolves.

00:16:48.000 And the slow process of their ears starting to droop and their noses, their snout starting to droop.

00:16:55.000 Yeah, shortened.

00:16:55.000 They became smaller.

00:16:57.000 And this is something that they didn't realize, I don't think, until the last couple of decades.

00:17:03.000 For the longest time, they thought that wolves were wolves and dogs were a mixture of wild dogs and cannons and all these different animals.

00:17:11.000 And then they realized, oh no, these are all wolves.

00:17:14.000 Wow.

00:17:14.000 Like a fucking chihuahua is a wolf.

00:17:17.000 I just have such a hard time.

00:17:19.000 It's hard to believe.

00:17:20.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:17:21.000 That's like saying a Prius is a car.

00:17:24.000 A Prius came from a Corvette.

00:17:28.000 I just can't.

00:17:29.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:17:30.000 That's true, though.

00:17:31.000 It is true.

00:17:32.000 They found out that somehow or another human beings manipulated through selective breeding.

00:17:37.000 They took a wolf and turned it into an English bulldog.

00:17:40.000 It's crazy.

00:17:41.000 But I love them.

00:17:42.000 It's so strange.

00:17:42.000 Well, that's...

00:17:43.000 Yeah, I should let him out.

00:17:44.000 Just let him out.

00:17:45.000 Because he probably...

00:17:45.000 He might have to pee or something like that.

00:17:47.000 And he wants to go talk to...

00:17:48.000 He's going to the door because he wants to go get love from everybody else, too.

00:17:51.000 All the security guys.

00:17:54.000 Fucking cutest dog of all time, though.

00:17:56.000 He's so cute.

00:17:57.000 They're so good to have around.

00:17:59.000 Whenever you feel bad, you just go to him and he just gives you love and kisses.

00:18:04.000 Their presence is huge for things that are pretty silent for the most part.

00:18:09.000 When my dog is boarded or whatever, I feel like there's this giant presence that's gone.

00:18:15.000 You know what it is though?

00:18:16.000 It's like emotional candy.

00:18:18.000 Like, you shouldn't have candy all the time.

00:18:21.000 And you should have people in your life.

00:18:22.000 Yeah.

00:18:23.000 Right?

00:18:23.000 You shouldn't just be one of those fucking weirdo dog people.

00:18:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:26.000 Like, I don't even like people.

00:18:27.000 I just like dogs.

00:18:28.000 I just like candy.

00:18:29.000 I don't even like food.

00:18:30.000 Fuck vitamins.

00:18:31.000 They're just eating candy.

00:18:33.000 You know, there's people that are like that.

00:18:34.000 Oh, I don't go to dog parks because of that.

00:18:36.000 Oh.

00:18:37.000 Oh, that's so true, right?

00:18:38.000 The dog park scene in LA is psychotic.

00:18:41.000 And there's always someone with a dog that can't control.

00:18:43.000 No.

00:18:43.000 That's been me before, too.

00:18:45.000 One of my dogs, one of my pit bulls, was a puppy.

00:18:48.000 He was like five months old, maybe six.

00:18:50.000 I would open up the door.

00:18:51.000 He would run to find the first dog he could find and bite him in the face.

00:18:54.000 I'd be like, what?

00:18:55.000 What the fuck, bro?

00:18:56.000 I had never had a dog like that before.

00:18:59.000 I didn't know how to handle it.

00:19:01.000 I didn't know that, like, okay, you can't, this is a male dog with his balls, and he's five, six months old.

00:19:06.000 You literally can't bring him around with dogs unless you, like, have him rigorously trained.

00:19:10.000 Yeah, and it needs to be rigorous, like, shot collar.

00:19:14.000 Well, someone, yeah, and someone has to show you how to do it correctly.

00:19:17.000 Yeah, after seeing two attacks in a dog park, I was like, okay, I'm out.

00:19:22.000 Fuck that.

00:19:23.000 People bring fucking crazy dogs at dog parks.

00:19:26.000 Yeah, and I treat my dog, I mean, there's some leniency, but I'm very much like, it's a dog.

00:19:32.000 I'm not one of the like, let's trust it in sweaters and have a birthday party for it.

00:19:36.000 I'm like, no, no.

00:19:38.000 We're not having a birthday party for my dog.

00:19:42.000 Birthday party.

00:19:43.000 We're not putting any kind of Halloween costume on this patch.

00:19:46.000 No, my kids do all that shit to Marshall.

00:19:48.000 They do all that shit to him.

00:19:50.000 You know, they dressed him up like a fish the other day.

00:19:52.000 They got him a fish costume.

00:19:53.000 I'm like, look, he's a fish.

00:19:54.000 I'm like, no, he's a fucking dog with a crazy...

00:19:56.000 He's like, I can't move!

00:19:57.000 This weird outfit on.

00:20:00.000 So, you were talking about Minnesota, and you're talking about being in rehab.

00:20:03.000 Oh, then I moved here.

00:20:04.000 Then you moved here.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, and then I went back east...

00:20:07.000 And then I was in the restaurant industry for a long time.

00:20:11.000 So basically I was in rehab and then I left rehab.

00:20:13.000 When did you start writing?

00:20:14.000 I always wrote.

00:20:16.000 You always wrote.

00:20:16.000 Did you always publish things?

00:20:17.000 No, I didn't know that you were getting paid to do it.

00:20:20.000 You were just writing for self-expression?

00:20:22.000 I started writing, I mean, my journal, holy shit, from that first rehab.

00:20:27.000 Have you ever seen that movie Seven?

00:20:28.000 Yes.

00:20:29.000 Where he was like, that's what my journal is like.

00:20:31.000 Jesus Christ.

00:20:32.000 That movie still fucks with my head.

00:20:34.000 Like, why am I still single?

00:20:35.000 That movie still fucks with my head.

00:20:37.000 Yeah.

00:20:37.000 I saw it in a theater and I remember driving home thinking I was gonna get murdered.

00:20:41.000 That was Kevin Spacey.

00:20:42.000 Yeah.

00:20:42.000 I'm just realizing that now.

00:20:44.000 Yeah.

00:20:44.000 Boy, the fuck.

00:20:44.000 Being creepy as fuck.

00:20:46.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 But one of his most brilliant roles.

00:20:49.000 Well, American Beauty was another one.

00:20:50.000 Creepy as fuck, but one of his most brilliant roles.

00:20:52.000 I think that...

00:20:53.000 I think...

00:20:54.000 God, I hate saying this.

00:20:56.000 You think one has deserved it?

00:20:58.000 No.

00:21:01.000 I don't think, I wonder how fucked up you have to be as a human to be able to play someone that fucked up.

00:21:11.000 I know, I know.

00:21:12.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:12.000 To go to that place?

00:21:14.000 Yeah, I mean, not just to go to that place, but you fucking believed it hook, line, and sink.

00:21:20.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:21:20.000 Okay, like the Joker, Joaquin Phoenix, I fucking believed it.

00:21:23.000 I haven't seen the edge.

00:21:25.000 Spoiler alert.

00:21:26.000 I know.

00:21:27.000 No, it's fine.

00:21:27.000 It's been two weeks.

00:21:28.000 I know.

00:21:29.000 Well, I'm not going to spoiler alert.

00:21:31.000 It was a dark week for me.

00:21:32.000 I couldn't go see it.

00:21:33.000 I wasn't emotionally strong enough.

00:21:35.000 You get dark weeks?

00:21:36.000 Well, just because of some shit that happened that was crazy that triggered all the stuff that we started this conversation as.

00:21:44.000 Oh, when you had the conversation with that girl?

00:21:46.000 No, it was crazy.

00:21:48.000 PTSD is real.

00:21:49.000 I hate that the word triggered has been destroyed.

00:21:53.000 Like, it's been destroyed, because it does, when you have had trauma, and there's a brilliant book, The Body Keeps the Score, and he talks about how it lives in your body, basically.

00:22:03.000 And he worked with vets, and, you know, it's crazy, like, in this book, I've been rereading it again, and he's talking about how, when he was writing to get some, from the VA, to get...

00:22:18.000 We're good to go.

00:22:36.000 I mean, that guy, he would be getting bombed basically, getting underway every single day for months.

00:22:44.000 And he's like, the most striking thing to me is how he's like, I don't want to feel sorry for myself.

00:22:49.000 I know nobody would want me to feel any self-pity.

00:22:51.000 I'm like, we live in the biggest pussy generation of the entire, we live in just the whiniest culture.

00:22:59.000 He's literally at war and he's like, I'd hate to be whining.

00:23:03.000 I'm like, Don't you think that the reason why we have such a whiny culture is because things are so safe relatively?

00:23:08.000 Yeah, I do.

00:23:10.000 Definitely.

00:23:10.000 Because the people that are complaining, for the most part, the people that are egregiously complaining, they don't have real issues.

00:23:16.000 It's just so weird.

00:23:17.000 I always see this, like, I am fighting for my life.

00:23:20.000 I'm like, no, you're not.

00:23:21.000 You're on fucking your couch getting Postmates.

00:23:23.000 Like, Your story, when you tell your story, that's one of the stories that legitimately makes you sit back and go, holy shit, those stories nobody gets upset at.

00:23:36.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:23:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:23:38.000 I don't mean they don't get upset that it happened to you.

00:23:40.000 I mean they don't get upset at you expressing this like it's some horrible, disastrous event in your life because it clearly is.

00:23:47.000 Well, yeah.

00:23:47.000 And that's why I hate that the word triggered has been so destroyed.

00:23:51.000 Because it is a thing that people have to...

00:23:55.000 So in this recent...

00:23:57.000 This girl is my hero.

00:23:58.000 In this recent thing that happened, it was like this person walked into a situation and she looked distraught.

00:24:06.000 And long story short, we ended up at a rape trauma center together.

00:24:11.000 When you said she walked into a situation, you mean...

00:24:15.000 It's hard to...

00:24:16.000 She gave me permission to talk about this if it came up, and so I'm okay with it.

00:24:20.000 Just don't say her name.

00:24:21.000 No, no, no.

00:24:22.000 And I'm not telling her story, no details of hers.

00:24:26.000 So I was in a 12-step meeting, and she kind of walked in and looked distraught.

00:24:31.000 And I'm not one of those girls that's like, hey, welcome!

00:24:34.000 It's not...

00:24:35.000 Like, leaving the fuck alone.

00:24:37.000 But I saw the look.

00:24:39.000 This is where I might actually cry.

00:24:41.000 I recognized that look.

00:24:44.000 It wasn't like I'm having a bad day in sobriety.

00:24:47.000 It was like something happened.

00:24:50.000 And I just made a beeline for her.

00:24:52.000 And I was like, are you okay?

00:24:53.000 And she was like, no, I'm not.

00:24:56.000 And she said, like, something bad happened to me, and we left that there, and then we went out onto a bench, and I was like, how old are you?

00:25:03.000 And she's like, I'm 19 and young, you know?

00:25:07.000 And I was like, she told me what happened, and something bad had happened the night before, and I was like, well...

00:25:14.000 And I told her, I shared with her, I was like, that same thing happened to me at your age, and I was like...

00:25:19.000 And she's like, what?

00:25:20.000 That look of relief that somebody could understand.

00:25:24.000 And she's like, what do I do?

00:25:26.000 And I'm like, well, I know what not to do, and it's nothing.

00:25:30.000 And I'm telling you, it was like, that girl is so brave.

00:25:35.000 I'm like, what compelled you to even walk into the meeting?

00:25:40.000 I wasn't even going to go to that meeting.

00:25:42.000 And then...

00:25:42.000 When we ended up in that center, the counselor was so amazing.

00:25:46.000 The nurse was so amazing.

00:25:47.000 It was like a warm blanket of love was just wrapped around her.

00:25:52.000 Was she in sobriety?

00:25:57.000 It's not really my story to tell.

00:26:00.000 She was fucked up.

00:26:03.000 It wasn't dead sober.

00:26:07.000 It was basically my story that she was telling.

00:26:12.000 So it triggered like all, it was weird to hear my story as she's relaying it and I'm having like flashbacks.

00:26:20.000 So last week I was like, I haven't really told anyone I'm even gonna like talk to you or anything because some of my friend was like, so what have you been doing to like get ready?

00:26:30.000 I'm like, well, I've been crying a lot and eating a lot of cake and like, To get ready to talk here?

00:26:35.000 Just because they're like, yeah, it's just Joe in a conversation, but I think people think it's like a, you know.

00:26:41.000 For some people it is.

00:26:42.000 It is.

00:26:43.000 Well, things get weird with people when there's an event coming.

00:26:46.000 Yeah, well, and it was my anniversary of six years, which always is like, oh.

00:26:50.000 When did that happen?

00:26:51.000 That was Friday.

00:26:51.000 Oh.

00:26:52.000 So, you know, it was amazingly healing, like, too, to be able to just...

00:26:59.000 It was one of those moments where there's...

00:27:05.000 Where something bad that happened to me, I was like, oh, suddenly this has meaning.

00:27:11.000 I can use this to help someone else.

00:27:14.000 I interviewed this really brilliant woman who escaped from a million things, and her whole thing is like, what good is our freedom if we can't use it to liberate somebody else?

00:27:28.000 Circling back to World War II and this generation, Ayaan Hirshali says that basically this generation is like, they're like trust fund babies with freedom.

00:27:38.000 Because they're so far removed from having to fight for freedom that they just take it for granted.

00:27:45.000 That's an interesting way of describing it.

00:27:47.000 Trust fund babies with freedom.

00:27:49.000 Ayaan, she's just brilliant.

00:27:51.000 She is brilliant.

00:27:52.000 That's a great way to look at it too, but it's very hard for people.

00:27:56.000 Without struggle, I think people don't know what to do.

00:28:00.000 And they create problems that don't exist.

00:28:04.000 It's a very common thing.

00:28:06.000 I think human beings are designed to deal with so many different problems that could come up in your environment, whether it's physical threats, danger.

00:28:17.000 All these different things.

00:28:19.000 Community.

00:28:20.000 All these different things that you're designed to handle.

00:28:22.000 And when those things aren't there, your brain and your body starts to manufacture things.

00:28:28.000 A lot of people that you see that create drama online.

00:28:33.000 There's so many people that I follow secretly.

00:28:36.000 This is what I do.

00:28:37.000 I bookmark their Twitter page and then I go to it.

00:28:40.000 Just when I need, like, a dose of madness.

00:28:42.000 Yeah.

00:28:42.000 And there's YouTube videos like that as well, and, you know, there used to be blogs you could go and read where people would just, obviously, they're real life.

00:28:50.000 Is so meaningless that they're seeking all of this drama online.

00:28:55.000 They're seeking this distraction online.

00:28:59.000 And there's people that I follow that are involved in arguments 12, 14 hours a day.

00:29:05.000 I know.

00:29:05.000 And I can relate, okay?

00:29:07.000 I truly can relate because I've been mad.

00:29:09.000 Madness, like crazy.

00:29:11.000 I've been crazy before.

00:29:12.000 And I'm still definitely a little crazy.

00:29:14.000 But I get it now.

00:29:17.000 I know what it is that makes me crazy.

00:29:19.000 Do you go to therapy?

00:29:19.000 No.

00:29:20.000 Oh.

00:29:20.000 No.

00:29:21.000 How do you know?

00:29:22.000 How did you figure out you were crazy?

00:29:24.000 Like, how did you self-reflect, I guess?

00:29:27.000 I think.

00:29:28.000 I think a lot.

00:29:29.000 I'm honest with myself.

00:29:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:31.000 Isolation tank.

00:29:33.000 Mm-hmm.

00:29:33.000 Drugs.

00:29:34.000 Mm-hmm.

00:29:34.000 The drugs that have helped me, like psychedelic drugs.

00:29:37.000 Yeah.

00:29:37.000 Those are the...

00:29:39.000 Whatever you tell your therapist, you could lie to your therapist.

00:29:42.000 You can't lie to mushrooms.

00:29:43.000 Yeah.

00:29:44.000 Mushrooms, you go, what, bitch?

00:29:45.000 Look at this!

00:29:46.000 Woo!

00:29:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:47.000 It'll show you everything.

00:29:48.000 DMT, too.

00:29:49.000 Yeah, and edible pot.

00:29:50.000 All those different things.

00:29:51.000 All those different things will show you all the real problems that you have.

00:29:56.000 But I know what these people are doing.

00:29:59.000 I know that people get caught in cycles of creating bullshit.

00:30:06.000 And then they get in cycles of festering.

00:30:09.000 You know Jamie Kilstein?

00:30:11.000 Yeah.

00:30:12.000 Jamie is a reformed super social justice warrior.

00:30:16.000 One of the things that Jamie told me was that he would say something about someone.

00:30:21.000 Like, this guy's a Nazi and a piece of shit.

00:30:23.000 He would say it on Twitter and then he would be glued to his phone looking at every response.

00:30:29.000 Every response that came in on Twitter and he'd be reacting to it or freaking out or angry or getting love from it.

00:30:36.000 Getting anxiety from him and people would turn on him and be like, no!

00:30:39.000 And then he would fucking fuck you and go back at him.

00:30:42.000 And it's just like this thing where you're trapped in it.

00:30:44.000 You're trapped in it all day.

00:30:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:46.000 Faisal and I were talking about this, the kid from Iraq who was on my podcast.

00:30:50.000 And he was...

00:30:51.000 I was like, it's so weird.

00:30:52.000 And...

00:30:53.000 You know, in all those dystopian books, there was this wreckage everywhere, and then you plug in to get to a better place.

00:31:00.000 And I feel like when I unplug, it's like a Disney movie.

00:31:05.000 I'm like...

00:31:05.000 And then I plug in, and it's like chaos and more.

00:31:09.000 I don't want a flip phone.

00:31:10.000 I don't want a flip phone, but I get it.

00:31:12.000 I want one.

00:31:12.000 But I get it.

00:31:12.000 I know, I know, I know.

00:31:14.000 I like taking pictures of things, and I like having the option, but I've done much better over the last six months of being way more disciplined with my time.

00:31:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:23.000 You know, like, sometimes I'll have...

00:31:24.000 I go, I want to check my phone.

00:31:26.000 And I go, don't.

00:31:27.000 Don't do it.

00:31:27.000 So I'm, like, giving myself advice.

00:31:29.000 Like, the same way I've become my own therapist.

00:31:31.000 Yeah.

00:31:31.000 I give myself advice on, don't just randomly just start reading Google stories.

00:31:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:37.000 You know, I go, I'll look for information.

00:31:39.000 I'm like, there must be something going on.

00:31:40.000 But some of the funniest things that you do, like, my favorite of your routines are your rabbit holes.

00:31:47.000 When you take us...

00:31:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:48.000 Through your internet rabbit holes.

00:31:50.000 Those are like my favorite bits that you do.

00:31:52.000 Like the vegan cat?

00:31:53.000 Yeah, because I can identify so much with that.

00:31:56.000 And I always joke like, I know I'm in trouble when it's like, maybe 9-11 was an inside job again.

00:32:03.000 Because all roads lead to 9-11 was an inside job on the internet.

00:32:07.000 Yes, all roads lead to Tower 7. Every single one.

00:32:12.000 If you're finding yourself like, hmm, what did happen there?

00:32:15.000 You're like, okay, get off.

00:32:17.000 Well, the problem is, no matter what the subject is, even if it's completely ridiculous, you can find someone with a compelling argument that it makes sense.

00:32:25.000 And then you watch a YouTube video.

00:32:27.000 And the problem with YouTube videos is, too, there's no one standing there going...

00:32:30.000 That didn't happen.

00:32:32.000 That's not what he said.

00:32:33.000 That's not real.

00:32:35.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:32:36.000 Architects and engineers, 9-11, truth is not all the architects.

00:32:39.000 Hold on.

00:32:40.000 Hold on.

00:32:40.000 Let's get a real structural engineer.

00:32:43.000 Hold on.

00:32:44.000 No, no, no.

00:32:44.000 You're missing 30 seconds of that video where the center of the building collapsed.

00:32:48.000 Hold on.

00:32:49.000 That happened minutes before.

00:32:51.000 Hold on.

00:32:52.000 That's when the beams were cut during the demolition of the building.

00:32:55.000 That's not what happened.

00:32:56.000 You need all that.

00:32:57.000 You need the fact-checking.

00:32:59.000 It's so hard.

00:32:59.000 You don't.

00:33:00.000 Because you get a flat earth video.

00:33:02.000 You'll start watching those motherfuckers.

00:33:03.000 You're like, what?

00:33:04.000 Is this real?

00:33:05.000 Are we really on a...

00:33:06.000 We're on a disc?

00:33:07.000 I watched that like Zeitgeist movie or whatever.

00:33:10.000 Oh, yes!

00:33:11.000 I'm like, hmm, there's some good points and there's nothing...

00:33:14.000 Well, Zeitgeist is not...

00:33:15.000 That's Peter Joseph's movie.

00:33:16.000 That's not completely preposterous.

00:33:18.000 Yeah, no.

00:33:18.000 That's a very good movie.

00:33:19.000 Yeah.

00:33:20.000 But it's not...

00:33:21.000 There's...

00:33:23.000 I think anytime...

00:33:24.000 Like, if someone wanted to write a blog on you, like, this is Bridget.

00:33:28.000 This is Bridget Phetasy.

00:33:30.000 There's not...

00:33:31.000 There's just one voice.

00:33:33.000 That's not you.

00:33:34.000 That's someone writing about you.

00:33:36.000 If you were there, you'd be like, well, that's not entirely true.

00:33:38.000 And, yeah, I'm like that sometimes, but 99% of the time, I'm not like that.

00:33:41.000 I can't...

00:33:42.000 Cherry pick the worst aspects of me and write a blog about, right?

00:33:46.000 You'd be able to say that.

00:33:47.000 But people do that.

00:33:47.000 Yeah, they do do that.

00:33:48.000 But it's not real.

00:33:50.000 No, it's not.

00:33:51.000 And that's the problem with someone writing a blog about you or making a YouTube video about you or even tweeting about you.

00:33:57.000 If they went on a tweet storm.

00:33:59.000 You know, I read Bridget's Twitter feed and she's a fucking rancid cunt and this is all the problems with her.

00:34:04.000 Why do they do that?

00:34:05.000 I mean, it's interesting, too, because you are very public.

00:34:09.000 I am very public.

00:34:11.000 There's a lot of material for people to draw from, but still, they don't see me cleaning up my dog's shit in the backyard.

00:34:18.000 That's me.

00:34:19.000 Well, you are you.

00:34:20.000 You're the whole of you.

00:34:21.000 Yeah, the whole.

00:34:21.000 Whenever someone tries to...

00:34:24.000 Like, you know, I have friends that have done stupid shit, and someone said, that guy's a piece of shit.

00:34:29.000 I'm like, no, he's not.

00:34:30.000 He did a piece of shit thing one time.

00:34:32.000 Like, who hasn't?

00:34:33.000 Who among us?

00:34:33.000 Yeah, don't tell me he's not a good guy.

00:34:35.000 I haven't known him for fucking 20 years.

00:34:36.000 I love him to death.

00:34:37.000 Like, people are not a thing, a one thing.

00:34:41.000 There are a bunch of things, and the problem with, like, some, like, internet interaction is so incredibly limited, because whether it's through Twitter feeds or blog posts or whatever it is, it's a shit way to To get the whole picture across.

00:34:56.000 Especially when you're defining a person.

00:34:59.000 Or discussing a subject.

00:35:02.000 It's a good way to get your thoughts across at that very moment.

00:35:06.000 But if you want to tell me that vaccines cause all these fucking horrible diseases.

00:35:12.000 And I'm like, okay, hold up.

00:35:14.000 Stop.

00:35:15.000 Let's get some scientists in here.

00:35:16.000 Yeah.

00:35:16.000 Let's get some people.

00:35:17.000 Let's have a fucking four hour discussion about this.

00:35:20.000 And let's bring up peer reviewed studies.

00:35:22.000 Yeah.

00:35:22.000 Let's find out what the fuck is going on.

00:35:23.000 You know, can veganism really cure diabetes and cancer?

00:35:27.000 And is all that shit really caused by meat?

00:35:28.000 Well, hold on!

00:35:30.000 Let's get some scientists in here.

00:35:32.000 Let's talk to people that have actually reviewed the data.

00:35:35.000 Because there's so many goddamn documentaries and so many goddamn videos that tell you.

00:35:39.000 You can find anything to confirm anything you want to believe.

00:35:42.000 That's the craziest thing.

00:35:44.000 And there's no check on that belief.

00:35:47.000 It is truly confirmation bias.

00:35:50.000 You're like, here's what I believe and now I'm going to seek out things to confirm that.

00:35:54.000 You should be seeking out things to debunk that belief.

00:35:58.000 Yes.

00:35:58.000 If you're trying to be intellectually honest.

00:36:01.000 Right.

00:36:02.000 But most people, it's not even really in our wiring to want to do that.

00:36:05.000 We just want to be right.

00:36:07.000 Yeah.

00:36:07.000 We want to be...

00:36:08.000 No, I have some friends that believe every fucking conspiracy theory that comes on the pipe.

00:36:11.000 And conspiracy theories are fun.

00:36:13.000 I always send them debunking things.

00:36:15.000 They get mad at me.

00:36:15.000 You're like, no, that's not...

00:36:17.000 But it's so easy to go down that...

00:36:19.000 It is a weird...

00:36:23.000 We all kind of become like two-dimensional abstractions online.

00:36:28.000 So I had friends that I waited tables with.

00:36:31.000 And then what happened to me kind of getting caught in the crossfire of the culture wars is that I just noticed I wasn't saying things that I wanted to say.

00:36:41.000 And I was like, why aren't I tweeting these things?

00:36:44.000 It was weird to me.

00:36:45.000 I'm like, huh, that's weird.

00:36:46.000 Why am I self-censoring?

00:36:48.000 And then I realized because it was, and then once I started saying those things, I was like, oh, this is why I'm not saying those things.

00:36:55.000 Yeah, you don't want to get in the war.

00:36:56.000 But I didn't even know the war was going on.

00:36:58.000 The war's always going on.

00:36:59.000 I was an idiot.

00:37:00.000 I was drunk and waitressing, and I put my head up in 2015 and was like, there's a war?

00:37:09.000 When people are expressing controversial opinions, there's always a war.

00:37:13.000 And you know, on the flip side of it, there's certain people that want to believe the official story about everything, and they're just as annoying as the people that want to believe every conspiracy.

00:37:21.000 I was not aware that the war included controversial opinions like boys and girls are different.

00:37:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:28.000 I didn't know that the thing had gone, the war had new rules.

00:37:32.000 And Michael Malice always gives me shit.

00:37:34.000 Like, when I was on his podcast, because I've been doing all this, when you start kind of speaking out against the left, you end up on right-wing media.

00:37:42.000 Because they're the only people who will have a conversation with you.

00:37:45.000 Isn't that crazy now?

00:37:46.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:37:47.000 So I go on, like, Glenn Beck, and I'm like, did you know that the left has different...

00:37:59.000 Well, if you're not deeply entrenched in that culture war, you wouldn't understand how far it's gone.

00:38:08.000 And I was like literally just getting high, waiting tables, trying to make jokes, trying to maybe get some of that TV money, sell a show, and like trying to pay my bills every single month.

00:38:22.000 This past February is the first time since I was 17 that I knew how I was going to pay two months of bills.

00:38:29.000 Like that's a long time to be.

00:38:30.000 Congratulations.

00:38:31.000 Thank you.

00:38:31.000 Yeah, I have some friends that are blissfully unaware, and occasionally I'll send them things.

00:38:36.000 Like, I have a friend of mine, and I was sending this article about all these different track and field events that are being won by men now.

00:38:44.000 Oh, God, and they have no idea.

00:38:45.000 Men who identify as women.

00:38:46.000 Not only that, men that identify as women, but do you know that in some places you don't even have to take hormones?

00:38:51.000 All you have to do is identify.

00:38:53.000 Oh, no way!

00:38:54.000 Oh, yes way.

00:38:56.000 That's crazy!

00:38:57.000 Particularly high school kids.

00:38:58.000 You can't force them to take hormones.

00:39:01.000 All they have to do is identify as a woman.

00:39:04.000 It's different everywhere, because no one knows what the fuck is going on.

00:39:07.000 So there's all these different rules everywhere you go.

00:39:09.000 I was getting my eyebrows done, and the woman who does my eyebrows is Vietnamese, and she was telling me that her kids got their ears pierced.

00:39:17.000 And she's like, oh, I went, and the kids, they got their ears pierced, and my daughter, who's not 16 yet, wanted one in the top of her earlobe.

00:39:24.000 And the guy was like, oh no, she has to be 16 to do that.

00:39:27.000 And I was like, yet she can take hormones?

00:39:30.000 Like...

00:39:31.000 The youngest of kids.

00:39:34.000 I was like, this is the stupidest state ever!

00:39:37.000 I was reading an article about this guy who's losing custody of his son because he wouldn't let his son transition at six.

00:39:46.000 His son went to his wife And the wife and him split up, and the wife wanted to chemically castrate the boy and give him hormone blockers because she had decided that the boy was a girl.

00:39:58.000 Whether or not the boy had decided it or not, still, we're talking about a young, young kid.

00:40:02.000 And the guy was being ordered by the state that he had to refer to the boy...

00:40:08.000 I don't believe it was California.

00:40:10.000 He had to refer to the boy as a girl...

00:40:13.000 And he had to, and he was gonna have only supervised custody now because he wasn't referring to, he was not allowed to misgender his son.

00:40:24.000 His son was no longer a son.

00:40:26.000 His son was now a girl.

00:40:27.000 Well, here's the thing about all that shit.

00:40:29.000 It's like no one wants to fight against the mob of the left, but no one, there's no established science on any of this stuff and everyone's different.

00:40:38.000 I mean, are there people that are trans?

00:40:40.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:40:41.000 Of course.

00:40:41.000 Are there young people that know that they're a girl from the time that they're young and they're trapped in a boy's body?

00:40:48.000 There's so many of them that say they are.

00:40:49.000 I would be an asshole to deny that.

00:40:51.000 Right.

00:40:52.000 But...

00:40:54.000 What do we know about this?

00:40:55.000 How much do we know about this?

00:40:56.000 And how much should we interfere with their hormonal development?

00:41:00.000 Well, it's so important to brain functioning, isn't it?

00:41:04.000 Not just that.

00:41:05.000 And brain development.

00:41:06.000 A lot of them become gay men.

00:41:09.000 If you leave them alone, they just become gay men.

00:41:12.000 You know, I've seen this online.

00:41:14.000 There's a lot of pushback from some communities saying that it's very anti-woman and homophobic.

00:41:20.000 That a lot of these things are kind of...

00:41:22.000 What's anti-woman is the competition.

00:41:26.000 Well, that and also just like I can't, you know, sometimes you'll see examples of women can't talk about their periods or something because it makes like a trans woman feel bad.

00:41:38.000 Or if you, you know, so there's this erasure of like me being able to talk about something because it's like, that's weird to me too.

00:41:48.000 I should be able to talk about my experience as a woman.

00:41:52.000 No, you can't.

00:41:53.000 You're ruining the experience for trans people.

00:41:55.000 But see that...

00:41:56.000 Stop.

00:41:57.000 It's all about compliance.

00:41:58.000 I mean, that's what most of this is about.

00:42:00.000 All these nutbags that are tweeting.

00:42:02.000 The ones that I follow that are tweeting 12 hours a day.

00:42:05.000 It's about compliance.

00:42:06.000 I mean, most of what they're doing is trying to get...

00:42:08.000 There's one that I tweeted the other day...

00:42:11.000 Over and over and over again, in all caps, she wrote, any gender can have their period.

00:42:15.000 Any gender can have their period.

00:42:17.000 Yeah, no, I'm not playing this game.

00:42:18.000 This is where I draw the line.

00:42:19.000 I know that we just got demonetized, but...

00:42:22.000 No, we're demonetized as fuck.

00:42:24.000 As soon as I said cunt, it was over.

00:42:25.000 Oh...

00:42:26.000 I'm not...

00:42:26.000 I can't...

00:42:28.000 That's the thing.

00:42:29.000 I'm like, do whatever you fucking want.

00:42:30.000 I wanted to be a turtle when I was like six.

00:42:32.000 A real turtle or a ninja turtle?

00:42:34.000 A real turtle.

00:42:34.000 Like live in the super turtle?

00:42:36.000 No, not all turtles live in sewers.

00:42:38.000 I wanted to be like a sea turtle.

00:42:41.000 A ninja turtle.

00:42:43.000 No, I wanted to be like a turtle in the Bahamas.

00:42:46.000 I didn't even know there was a difference between a turtle and a tortoise until I was 30. Oh, I know.

00:42:51.000 I don't think I was aware of that.

00:42:52.000 I thought it was just a different name for turtles.

00:42:56.000 There's so much we don't know.

00:42:57.000 A ground turtle and a water turtle.

00:42:58.000 They're all fucking turtles.

00:42:59.000 I don't know anything, really.

00:43:01.000 And so that's the beauty.

00:43:02.000 Which ones lived like hundreds of years?

00:43:04.000 Tortoise?

00:43:05.000 Or sea turtles do too, though.

00:43:06.000 Oh, I think so.

00:43:07.000 Yeah.

00:43:07.000 But there's tortoises in Joshua Tree.

00:43:10.000 Oh, yeah, right?

00:43:11.000 Do you ever run into one?

00:43:13.000 Yeah, they're tortoises.

00:43:14.000 You know what they're there for?

00:43:14.000 I want to be a ranger in Joshua Tree.

00:43:17.000 They're there for when you're tripping.

00:43:19.000 That's why they're there.

00:43:20.000 You're like, what the fuck?

00:43:21.000 God put them there.

00:43:22.000 Yeah, it's like nature's little artifact.

00:43:26.000 It's an artifact.

00:43:27.000 So when you're tripping, you can...

00:43:29.000 How many people have tripped in Joshua Tree versus not tripped in Joshua Tree?

00:43:34.000 I don't know.

00:43:34.000 I bet it's like 30, 70. Okay.

00:43:37.000 Trip versus not trip.

00:43:38.000 I feel like I go enough to kind of offset.

00:43:40.000 I go sober a lot now.

00:43:42.000 Like once a quarter.

00:43:44.000 So I'm offsetting those numbers.

00:43:46.000 Do you ever do anything like isolation tank?

00:43:48.000 Do you ever do that?

00:43:49.000 I've always wanted to.

00:43:50.000 We'll have one here if you want to do it.

00:43:51.000 Yeah, I do.

00:43:52.000 I've always wanted to do that.

00:43:55.000 I want to kind of go back and say I don't want to disparage therapy.

00:43:58.000 I think it does help a lot of people.

00:44:01.000 It definitely has helped me.

00:44:02.000 I think therapy is like comedy.

00:44:04.000 There's good therapy and there's terrible therapy.

00:44:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:07.000 And by the way, certain personality types really are kind of untreatable.

00:44:12.000 So if you have narcissistic personality disorder, my therapist is like, the dirty secret is we'll kind of pass them off to someone else or something because once you realize somebody can't see they're wrong, they won't really...

00:44:26.000 Well, I talked to a therapist about that and they said some therapy doesn't work because all these people are really there for us to talk about themselves.

00:44:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:33.000 My therapist kind of calls me out on shit.

00:44:36.000 So I like her.

00:44:38.000 My friends who have overheard us because we FaceTime, because she's a holdover from the East Coast, they're like, it sounds like she's your friend and she's being kind of hard on you.

00:44:50.000 But I need that.

00:44:51.000 I need somebody who's going to...

00:44:53.000 I don't necessarily always...

00:44:56.000 It was interesting.

00:44:56.000 I just learned this past week that when you've had trauma, one of the kind of byproducts is that not only do you not trust people, but you don't trust yourself.

00:45:06.000 And I was like, oh, I didn't know this!

00:45:08.000 You put yourself in a bad situation, right?

00:45:10.000 So you don't trust your own judgment.

00:45:11.000 And often, like, your reaction to it.

00:45:13.000 So my reaction to what happened to me was very...

00:45:17.000 I mean, yes, I was young and I can forgive myself for that, but it was to...

00:45:22.000 I was, like, hypersexual after that.

00:45:24.000 You know, I... And then I recently, last week, had this moment where I was like, oh, God, all the, like, men that just didn't deserve me.

00:45:32.000 And this is one of the...

00:45:34.000 I mean, it really was like I felt like I was re-virginized or something.

00:45:40.000 I don't know what happened, but I suddenly was like, wow, I don't...

00:45:45.000 I suddenly have self-worth.

00:45:49.000 It redefines intimacy for you, too, right?

00:45:51.000 Well, this is one of the, you know, where I'm squishy.

00:45:54.000 I'm squishy on a lot of things, and I think feminism is really important, and to, like, shit on it is...

00:46:01.000 There are women who died and got jailed for the right to vote, so that doesn't sit well with me.

00:46:07.000 But some of the excesses of feminism and of the, in particular, sexual liberation, is that I was told sex is empowering, and it's not fucking empowering if you're not empowered already.

00:46:24.000 Like...

00:46:26.000 In my experience...

00:46:27.000 You were told sex is empowering as a part of feminism?

00:46:29.000 Well, it's kind of the messaging.

00:46:31.000 It's like, you know, women can have sex too.

00:46:33.000 And just like, it's an empowering thing.

00:46:36.000 But isn't it more of an anti-shame thing?

00:46:38.000 Because women are shamed for their feelings and their passion.

00:46:43.000 Yeah, and I think that's why I think that I understand it.

00:46:45.000 I understand why that would be the...

00:46:48.000 But I feel like what got lost is that sex is very intimate.

00:46:51.000 And for years, I was like, intimacy is so creepy.

00:46:54.000 I just...

00:46:55.000 I couldn't make eye contact?

00:46:59.000 No.

00:46:59.000 No, we're not doing that.

00:47:01.000 That's not happening.

00:47:04.000 And it's...

00:47:05.000 I just...

00:47:05.000 Yeah.

00:47:08.000 Get in the back.

00:47:11.000 Get in the back.

00:47:13.000 I just didn't have that...

00:47:16.000 I don't know.

00:47:18.000 I miss the memo that it should be something...

00:47:22.000 I was taught that it was...

00:47:26.000 You know, like to kind of withhold because then a man won't respect you, which feels a little bit transactional.

00:47:32.000 So there's that messaging.

00:47:33.000 And then there's messaging of like, free the nipple and be empowered.

00:47:36.000 And like, you can have sex with whoever you want.

00:47:38.000 But if you have trauma, and you're not really great on the self esteem department, and then you start trying to sleep your way to empowerment, it's In my experience, for me, it created a lot more shame and a vicious cycle that was very connected to addiction for me,

00:47:58.000 too.

00:47:58.000 Sleeping your way to empowerment is a funny concept.

00:48:02.000 Suck and fuck your way to enlightenment.

00:48:05.000 I mean, I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater and I know I can already, I can, you know, the problem with my brain is that I can, I'm always like contradicting myself.

00:48:15.000 So I can.

00:48:16.000 That's because life is complicated.

00:48:17.000 Yeah.

00:48:18.000 And there's not, it's not binary.

00:48:20.000 Like sex is good or sex is bad.

00:48:21.000 Like there's different situations where it's good and different situations where it's terrible for you.

00:48:26.000 Yeah, and it's just the whole weird writing for Playboy.

00:48:31.000 So you asked me when I started writing.

00:48:33.000 I always wrote.

00:48:34.000 I wrote that piece, Bill Cosby Rate Me Kind Of.

00:48:38.000 That's a great title.

00:48:40.000 Thank you.

00:48:41.000 And then I ended up...

00:48:43.000 Twitter was really how I got every connection in the writing world.

00:48:47.000 Somebody hooked me up with an editor from Playboy, and there was this piece going around...

00:48:54.000 That was like, why I don't suck dick.

00:48:57.000 And I'm like, well, someone needs to stick up for sucking dick, and that person needs to be me.

00:49:03.000 And so I pitched to Playboy in defense of why I love giving blowjobs, basically.

00:49:09.000 And I didn't know, again, because I'm like a child of the 90s who was just high, I didn't get the memo that now a lot of that is seen as internalizing the patriarchy.

00:49:20.000 What?

00:49:21.000 Wait a minute.

00:49:21.000 What is?

00:49:22.000 Literally.

00:49:23.000 What about eating pussy?

00:49:24.000 What is that?

00:49:25.000 Not eating pussy.

00:49:26.000 Sucking dick.

00:49:26.000 But how does that work?

00:49:28.000 Oh, that's okay.

00:49:29.000 But it's only okay- Sucking dick is internalized in the patriarchy because you take it into your body?

00:49:34.000 Well, no.

00:49:35.000 The whole point of why I don't suck dick is that it's a degrading experience, which it can feel that way.

00:49:45.000 Everything can feel degraded.

00:49:46.000 Right, and it's not this or that.

00:49:51.000 Sexuality is so fucking complicated.

00:49:53.000 That's why I loved writing for Playboy, because it is everything.

00:49:56.000 It is shame and fear and intimacy and love and passion and all of it.

00:50:02.000 It all happens in sex and in those...

00:50:06.000 Messy relationships and the whole consent culture thing, which again, they're good things that come of it, but then there's another part of it where I'm like, how are we going to hack something as awkward as sexuality, especially when you're in your...

00:50:22.000 Hormones in your...

00:50:23.000 Once again, it comes down to compliance.

00:50:25.000 That's what the whole consent culture is about.

00:50:27.000 I mean, look, consent is imperative.

00:50:29.000 It's important.

00:50:30.000 It's everything.

00:50:31.000 Of course.

00:50:31.000 You don't want anybody doing anything without your consent.

00:50:34.000 However, this idea that you should ask for consent before every single step of the way.

00:50:38.000 Can I touch your left leg?

00:50:39.000 Yes.

00:50:39.000 Can I touch your ass?

00:50:40.000 No, not yet.

00:50:41.000 Okay.

00:50:42.000 You ever see that video?

00:50:43.000 No.

00:50:43.000 It's a great video.

00:50:44.000 It was like teaching consent.

00:50:47.000 Consent can be hot.

00:50:48.000 And it's like this guy and this girl kissing.

00:50:50.000 And the guy's like, can I kiss you?

00:50:52.000 She's like, yes.

00:50:53.000 Can I touch your shoulder?

00:50:54.000 Yes.

00:50:55.000 And he has to say it every step of the way.

00:50:58.000 But it's always the guy.

00:51:00.000 But it's explicit, too.

00:51:01.000 But it's always the guy.

00:51:03.000 The girl's neck.

00:51:04.000 Can I suck your dick?

00:51:05.000 Of course!

00:51:05.000 You don't have to ask questions.

00:51:07.000 The idea that the girl has to ask is ridiculous, right?

00:51:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:11.000 So if you have a video where the girl's asking the guy, everybody's like, what the fuck is this?

00:51:16.000 What is this?

00:51:17.000 What is she, a sex robot?

00:51:18.000 She's asking if she can fuck you?

00:51:20.000 That is crazy.

00:51:21.000 Can you put it inside me?

00:51:23.000 Yeah.

00:51:24.000 No one does that.

00:51:26.000 Has anybody ever said that ever?

00:51:27.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 Asking the guy for consent is...

00:51:30.000 One of the most ridiculous ideas ever.

00:51:32.000 If you're making out, that's consent.

00:51:34.000 Well, and this is the difference between explicit and implicit.

00:51:37.000 And there's so much consent that occurs, it's implicit.

00:51:40.000 And that's some of the sexiest stuff.

00:51:42.000 Right, you don't have to talk about it.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, and it's learning to read that body language and read the like, eh, she's, you know.

00:51:49.000 People that want compliance.

00:51:51.000 That's what it is.

00:51:52.000 But who are these people?

00:51:53.000 Crazy people that have no life and they're on Twitter all day.

00:51:56.000 It's a power trip thing.

00:51:58.000 What they're trying to do is get people to bend their behavior and change it to their will.

00:52:03.000 But why?

00:52:04.000 Because they're nuts.

00:52:05.000 Because they enjoy power tripping.

00:52:07.000 Right.

00:52:07.000 Like, why are people saying, stop using guys?

00:52:11.000 Stop saying guys.

00:52:12.000 Stop using gendered language.

00:52:13.000 You ever see that video?

00:52:15.000 Which one?

00:52:16.000 Where they're speaking in front of the socialists.

00:52:18.000 Oh, I was going to say that to you.

00:52:19.000 Point of personal privilege.

00:52:21.000 Point of personal privilege.

00:52:24.000 Yeah, I made fun of it on Dumpster Fire.

00:52:26.000 That fucking video is amazing.

00:52:28.000 Yeah.

00:52:29.000 But when the guys can just stop with the chatter because I have a really hard time paying attention.

00:52:34.000 Yeah, it's like the like...

00:52:36.000 Jazz hands.

00:52:37.000 And then the guy who's like the trans woman gets up and says, please stop saying guys!

00:52:44.000 Stop using gendered language!

00:52:45.000 Like, oh my god, we're in a movie!

00:52:47.000 No, it's insane.

00:52:48.000 Reality has become parody.

00:52:49.000 I was watching, someone was saying like, please stop using the masculine, and it had like thousands of retweets, and it was like, please stop using male and female.

00:52:59.000 The binary needs, I'm like, no!

00:53:01.000 No!

00:53:02.000 Well, you know Todd Phillips, who directed The Joker, one of the things that he said, and he was talking about it, he said he's really difficult right now to do comedy.

00:53:10.000 Right.

00:53:10.000 He's doing an interview.

00:53:13.000 They're like, why are you doing this really dark superhero movie, this dark action movie?

00:53:18.000 He's like, wow, it's fucking hard to do comedy these days.

00:53:22.000 You know, you guys don't understand that this and that.

00:53:24.000 So he used the term you guys.

00:53:25.000 And one of the reporters that criticized it was calling, you know, say Todd Phillips is a piece of shit.

00:53:31.000 And look how he uses the term guys.

00:53:35.000 Why?

00:53:36.000 One of the main points this person made was that he was using the term you guys.

00:53:41.000 Because everything is a patriarchy?

00:53:44.000 It's gendered language.

00:53:47.000 I know, it's fucking stupid as shit.

00:53:48.000 But it's also just like language.

00:53:50.000 Yes.

00:53:51.000 Well, women use it all the time.

00:53:53.000 I use it all the time.

00:53:54.000 I use retard all the time.

00:53:56.000 I know, it's not good.

00:53:58.000 It's not good.

00:53:59.000 But it's not bad.

00:54:00.000 Here's the thing about it.

00:54:01.000 It's fun being on the East Coast, though.

00:54:03.000 It is, but it's also, it has nothing to do with the disease.

00:54:05.000 This is what the problem is.

00:54:06.000 It has to do with people literally being retarded.

00:54:10.000 Like slow.

00:54:11.000 Like slowing down the progress.

00:54:13.000 Yeah, I know.

00:54:13.000 Like a person who thinks the earth is flat.

00:54:15.000 That is a retarded way of looking at the world.

00:54:17.000 Yeah.

00:54:17.000 And if you make videos about it, you're slowing down scientific progress if people get caught up in your rabbit hole.

00:54:25.000 I'm glad that we're mutually going to be canceled together.

00:54:28.000 No.

00:54:29.000 I'm hoping to get canceled.

00:54:31.000 You keep trying.

00:54:32.000 I'm trying.

00:54:32.000 So you're like South Park.

00:54:34.000 Well, this is what I think.

00:54:35.000 I think what's going on right now is this chaotic period of adjustment to our ability to communicate with each other openly and across the board and in this weird way through social media.

00:54:50.000 Why are we responsible for everyone's feelings?

00:54:53.000 We are not.

00:54:54.000 But this is the world we live in.

00:54:56.000 You are responsible by your language and jokes that you tell.

00:55:00.000 If your jokes are offensive, you are responsible for literally every person's feelings in the audience.

00:55:08.000 Not necessarily.

00:55:08.000 Bridget, here's the thing.

00:55:09.000 It's such a small number of people.

00:55:11.000 And they're so loud.

00:55:13.000 This is what we saw with the Chappelle special.

00:55:15.000 Yeah.

00:55:15.000 Right?

00:55:15.000 Right, right, right.

00:55:16.000 The Rotten Tomatoes.

00:55:18.000 Reviewed by Rotten Tomatoes.

00:55:19.000 They decided for whatever fucking goofy reason to make it reviewed by five super woke critics.

00:55:24.000 They gave it a 0%.

00:55:25.000 They open it up to the public.

00:55:27.000 It gets a 100% rating.

00:55:28.000 Right.

00:55:29.000 100%.

00:55:29.000 They're like, thank God!

00:55:30.000 Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

00:55:32.000 Everybody else says it's awesome and they're gonna like it more because they don't like you assholes that say it's 0%.

00:55:38.000 Well, and the critical theory guys, you know, like James Lindsay, you've had them on.

00:55:42.000 They're great.

00:55:43.000 But the whole idea...

00:55:46.000 Oh, it's 99% and 35%.

00:55:47.000 Yeah.

00:55:48.000 Hey, at least the tomato meter went up a little bit with the critics.

00:55:51.000 Yeah, the critics jumped in.

00:55:52.000 The byline says it won't elicit many laughs either.

00:55:55.000 It's like, oh my God, edgy but empty.

00:55:57.000 Sticks and stones won't break any bones and it won't elicit many laughs.

00:56:00.000 I mean, this was...

00:56:03.000 I don't know.

00:56:04.000 James Lindsay just posted something today.

00:56:07.000 He just posted something today that just said, oh my.

00:56:10.000 Oh, it's about diversity in medical institutions.

00:56:15.000 And that they think that people who are at the head of medical institutions, they should have tenure.

00:56:24.000 Because by this, it would take 50 years.

00:56:27.000 Some woman posted this thing.

00:56:29.000 Like, forget about competence.

00:56:31.000 Here it is.

00:56:32.000 What does it say?

00:56:33.000 Diversity leadership.

00:56:34.000 Diversified leadership.

00:56:36.000 Researchers say term limits may create more opportunities for women and minorities in academic medicine.

00:56:42.000 Like, term limits.

00:56:44.000 Like, forget about how competent you are at brain surgery.

00:56:47.000 What we need is more brown women in your part, doing your part.

00:56:53.000 So we're going to teach them how to be brain surgeons.

00:56:55.000 So what I've learned from them is just that it truly behaves like a religion.

00:57:01.000 Yes.

00:57:01.000 Like woke-ism.

00:57:02.000 Yes.

00:57:02.000 And this is the piece that I was writing, I think I quoted you, and Bill Burr, and just, I was saying, like, Comedy's Last Stand, and about, around Chappelle, and how his special, whether he meant to do it or not, goes, like, right after every single one of their tenants.

00:57:20.000 Yes.

00:57:20.000 You know, almost, like, strategically.

00:57:23.000 He goes after, and I was saying, everyone's like, oh, it's reactionary, it's reactionary.

00:57:28.000 I'm like, no, they're fighting!

00:57:30.000 Yes.

00:57:30.000 They're not reacting, they're fighting back!

00:57:33.000 Well, that, Rotten Tomatoes, that's the battleground.

00:57:37.000 Right.

00:57:37.000 That shows you, like, this is the ideological battleground.

00:57:40.000 Right.

00:57:40.000 This very small number of woke people versus the vast majority of people that don't turn to comedy to have reality defined for them.

00:57:49.000 Right.

00:57:49.000 They turn to it to laugh.

00:57:50.000 Right.

00:57:51.000 They want relief!

00:57:52.000 These people are trying to define reality through all forms of art, and they're doing it by, again, trying to get people to comply with their very rigid terms of what you can say, the way you can think, whether you're punching down or punching up, on how you treat people and how you treat minorities and trans people and...

00:58:09.000 I just get to the, like, why?

00:58:11.000 Why?

00:58:12.000 I mean, why?

00:58:13.000 It's a power trip.

00:58:14.000 I understand, but what, because I don't, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and so I know that they wake up and think, and that's the weird thing about the time that we live in right now, is that literally everyone on all sides thinks they're on the right side of history.

00:58:29.000 And you and I were talking about this before, how weird Trump derangement syndrome is, where it definitely exists on the left and there's the craziness and the people who literally see all day long, they're online tweeting about Trump.

00:58:44.000 I'm like, how do you feed your children?

00:58:47.000 I imagine they have starving children just waiting for dinner.

00:58:51.000 And then on the right, you see it with, like, he can do no wrong.

00:58:54.000 So it's like the maggot and resistant strains of Trump derangements.

00:58:59.000 And it's like most people don't live in there, in either one.

00:59:05.000 But they seem to have the loudest...

00:59:09.000 Platforms.

00:59:09.000 But that's, you know, they say about the left and the right.

00:59:12.000 The further you go left, the further you go right.

00:59:14.000 They kind of meet in the middle.

00:59:15.000 They just like together.

00:59:15.000 They get together because it's an ideological thing.

00:59:18.000 They sound the same.

00:59:18.000 They do.

00:59:18.000 When I was getting a text of working at Playboy, you retweeted it actually and it was why, and you had no idea, but it was, I wrote, women date assholes because you're a pussy.

00:59:29.000 That was like the first column and they were testing me to do a column and you just so happened to retweet it so you probably got me that job.

00:59:36.000 So thank you.

00:59:36.000 You're welcome.

00:59:38.000 And I didn't realize, because I got attacked by all the dudes on the right who were kind of beta dudes, and they were like, I'm not a pussy, I'm a good guy.

00:59:50.000 And then there were all the people on the left, the radical feminists, and they were like, you can't, this is toxic masculinity.

00:59:56.000 And I was like, what the fuck is happening?

00:59:59.000 You guys sound exactly the same.

01:00:02.000 You should date.

01:00:03.000 I figured out...

01:00:05.000 How to solve the problem.

01:00:07.000 Well, I always think it's hilarious when a right-wing person and a Democrat date.

01:00:11.000 Oh.

01:00:12.000 How do you make that work?

01:00:13.000 Maybe it's just like hate-fucking.

01:00:15.000 Yeah, hate-fucking.

01:00:16.000 Fuck Nancy Pelosi.

01:00:17.000 No, fuck me.

01:00:24.000 I'm sure.

01:00:25.000 I mean, look, people are goddamn complicated.

01:00:28.000 We are!

01:00:28.000 We're very complicated.

01:00:30.000 That's what was so weird about working at Playboy, was I got there right when they went non-nude.

01:00:36.000 And I was like, sorry, everyone.

01:00:38.000 How long did that last?

01:00:39.000 Like, one minute.

01:00:41.000 It was like, somebody on Twitter said it was like McDonald's being like, we're not serving fries anymore.

01:00:47.000 Sorry, guys.

01:00:48.000 It was like new Coke.

01:00:49.000 Like, what?

01:00:49.000 Yeah.

01:00:50.000 Why would you fuck with Coke?

01:00:52.000 So that was a weird time.

01:00:54.000 And then it was a lot of transition, but just writing for men, waking up to the fact that there was this culture war, and then writing for men at a time when it was, like, anti-men.

01:01:05.000 Right.

01:01:06.000 I didn't realize that had happened either.

01:01:07.000 I was, like, still singing, this is a man's world, like, in my mind.

01:01:11.000 And then suddenly it was like, oh, there's a sex war going on, too.

01:01:16.000 Well, I got...

01:01:17.000 The idea behind Me Too.

01:01:19.000 Like, I was also sexually abused.

01:01:23.000 Me Too.

01:01:23.000 I didn't get the time's up.

01:01:25.000 Like, the thing of time's up.

01:01:28.000 Time's up for what?

01:01:28.000 Like, what is the time up for?

01:01:30.000 Why do we have to use Me Too?

01:01:31.000 It's such a common phrase.

01:01:33.000 Like, it's so weird when a guy is like, I can't wait to see you, and I'm always like, hashtag Me Too.

01:01:38.000 I do that all the time.

01:01:39.000 And people go, LOL. Because now it's become a joke.

01:01:42.000 Yeah.

01:01:43.000 Well, there's been enough Asia Argentos, enough hypocrites, enough of the crazy ones.

01:01:48.000 But it is important, you know, because, I mean, circling back to what happened to me last week and in my young childhood, it's important that I see that woman, the 19-year-old,

01:02:05.000 as my hero, but also the culture is more supportive of her going and saying something, and it was not 20 years ago.

01:02:14.000 At all.

01:02:14.000 So that is progress.

01:02:16.000 There's definitely progress.

01:02:18.000 But progress is not clean.

01:02:20.000 No.

01:02:20.000 Progress comes in these waves, knocks rocks over, and knocks over pylons, and then everybody rebuilds, and then we figure out where the fuck the ocean line is now.

01:02:29.000 You know, the shoreline moves.

01:02:31.000 Everything moves.

01:02:31.000 But that's been the weird thing, is that it's...

01:02:34.000 You know, I was joking the other day that I'm like...

01:02:40.000 You know, sometimes something will happen with Trump and I'll be like, alright, that's it.

01:02:44.000 You know, like, sign me up for the resistance.

01:02:45.000 I'm going to be marching in the streets in the minute.

01:02:48.000 They're like, uh, yeah, and what's your gender?

01:02:50.000 I'd be like, I'm out of here!

01:02:52.000 What are your pronouns?

01:02:54.000 I'm out!

01:02:54.000 Forget it!

01:02:55.000 My name is Bridget, you fucking piece of shit!

01:02:58.000 I'm not joining you either!

01:03:01.000 They them.

01:03:02.000 I'm a they them.

01:03:03.000 I'm just out.

01:03:04.000 I'm out.

01:03:04.000 They them.

01:03:05.000 I have a friend whose daughter's a they.

01:03:07.000 She calls herself they.

01:03:09.000 Well, I would be, you know, that's the other thing, too, is that you latch onto these things when you're a kid.

01:03:14.000 Of course.

01:03:15.000 You're totally going to be ripe for having that happen to you.

01:03:17.000 Oh, for sure.

01:03:18.000 You know, you're going to have, like, two they thems.

01:03:22.000 Babies.

01:03:23.000 They call them babies.

01:03:24.000 Babies!

01:03:24.000 People are raising their kids as babies.

01:03:26.000 And I just say, let them decide what they are.

01:03:29.000 No.

01:03:29.000 I don't push them in any one way or far.

01:03:31.000 These kids are going to be so fucked up.

01:03:34.000 It's like a fucking Disney ride.

01:03:35.000 That was the weird thing when I was working on the...

01:03:37.000 This is also another weird moment I'm having right now because I listened to so much of your podcast when I was trimming weed.

01:03:44.000 And anyone who's trimmed weed knows you do it for like 13 hours at a clip and go crazy.

01:03:49.000 Yeah.

01:03:50.000 And somewhere in an alternate timeline, I'm trimming weed listening to me.

01:04:00.000 That's hilarious.

01:04:01.000 That whole culture, and it's so funny because the way those kids revolt, the way they rebel, all the hippie kids who grew up with their pants on acid losing them at festivals and shit, and the Burning Man kids, one of my friends,

01:04:18.000 she joined the army.

01:04:18.000 I'm like, yeah!

01:04:19.000 This is what happens.

01:04:20.000 That's how they rebel.

01:04:22.000 The kids that grew up with all this crazy shit.

01:04:25.000 They're like, I'm joining the D-fucking-A, Mom.

01:04:30.000 That's what I'm doing.

01:04:31.000 That is what happens.

01:04:32.000 People get super religious.

01:04:34.000 Yeah.

01:04:35.000 If your parents are drug addicts, you become sober and a marathon runner.

01:04:39.000 Yeah.

01:04:39.000 Yeah, that happens.

01:04:41.000 So your kids are going to be like, you know, it's they, Dad!

01:04:45.000 I'm pretty good at not...

01:04:46.000 I'm not...

01:04:47.000 I let them do what they want to do.

01:04:50.000 I'm not that rigid.

01:04:52.000 Yeah.

01:04:52.000 I mean, I have rules and stuff, but there's also a lot of communication in my house.

01:04:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:04:58.000 I think that's...

01:04:59.000 I mean, I know what the fuck happened when I was a kid, so I try real hard to not make any of that happen to them.

01:05:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:06.000 So there's a lot of talk.

01:05:08.000 Were you come from a crazy upbringing?

01:05:11.000 Yeah.

01:05:11.000 It was crazy.

01:05:12.000 It wasn't bad.

01:05:13.000 They were nice, but they were distant.

01:05:16.000 Absent.

01:05:16.000 It was more absent.

01:05:17.000 But they were working.

01:05:18.000 I was a latchkey kid.

01:05:20.000 When I was a kid, my parents worked all the day.

01:05:23.000 And then when they got home, I was going to martial arts.

01:05:26.000 So I was never around my parents.

01:05:27.000 At least you had martial arts.

01:05:29.000 You probably would have been a freaking hooligan.

01:05:32.000 Oh my god, that saved me.

01:05:33.000 From the time I was 14 till the time I stopped fighting, that saved me.

01:05:38.000 Wow.

01:05:38.000 100%.

01:05:39.000 Because that gave me structure.

01:05:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:40.000 I had no structure.

01:05:41.000 And it teaches you self-discipline.

01:05:44.000 Yeah.

01:05:44.000 It teaches you to respect the whole idea of discipline.

01:05:47.000 That's what I love about Jacko, the whole discipline equals freedom.

01:05:50.000 Discipline equals freedom is fucking hilarious.

01:05:53.000 Do you see the post?

01:05:54.000 My wife put up a post of Marshall with a watch on.

01:05:58.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:06:00.000 4.30.

01:06:02.000 She puts it at 4 o'clock in the morning.

01:06:03.000 I love it.

01:06:04.000 He's so inspiring, though, that way.

01:06:07.000 That's amazing.

01:06:11.000 I love the watch, too.

01:06:13.000 So fucking silly.

01:06:14.000 I'm always like, is that blood or is it sweat?

01:06:17.000 Sweat, mostly with Jocko.

01:06:20.000 He's a fucking savage.

01:06:21.000 He's amazing.

01:06:22.000 Jocko really does get up every fucking morning at 4.30 and works out like a beast.

01:06:28.000 But I think there are some men where they should...

01:06:33.000 They should do that.

01:06:34.000 Well, we should be...

01:06:35.000 They're just like born warriors.

01:06:37.000 And in this society where there's not really...

01:06:40.000 It's so kind of easy and it's not like they're...

01:06:43.000 It's...

01:06:44.000 What do you do?

01:06:45.000 And as we were talking about, I think a lot of that energy of the negativity, I always say to people online, I'm like, go build something.

01:06:52.000 Because I know from my own experience that if I'm...

01:06:57.000 If I'm not using that energy creatively, I'll self-destruct.

01:07:00.000 Right.

01:07:00.000 It's like it goes inward or I'll project it outward and I'll tear people down or whatever.

01:07:05.000 Well, that's what you see.

01:07:07.000 Yeah, so go build something.

01:07:07.000 You see people trying to tear people down instead.

01:07:09.000 Go make something.

01:07:10.000 Attacking all the time.

01:07:11.000 It's so much of an attack culture.

01:07:13.000 Well, discipline is a very important part of being a healthy person.

01:07:16.000 And for men, I think there's a certain amount of energy that you must expand.

01:07:21.000 You must expand it.

01:07:23.000 You must blow it out of your system.

01:07:24.000 Yeah, and this is actually why I'm very grateful, and again, for you and your platform, because I know from writing for Playboy, I would say, hey guys, what do you think about going bald?

01:07:35.000 And I would get these long letters from men who would I've never been asked, like, hey, how are you doing, dude?

01:07:43.000 And they would tell me these stories of, like, what it was like to lose their hair, what it's like to have ED or whatever, and there was not really a space for, in this culture war, there's not, the male magazines have been kind of taken over by the,

01:07:59.000 there's not really a space for men to just be men.

01:08:02.000 The only space is podcasts.

01:08:04.000 It is.

01:08:05.000 Because no one tells you what to do.

01:08:07.000 But you give these guys a voice and for all the shit you get, I feel like you use it responsibly.

01:08:13.000 You could be up here being like, go cause a lot of chaos, guys!

01:08:17.000 And like, go get whatever.

01:08:19.000 And you're trying to, you know, better yourself and therefore help other people to better themselves and ask questions.

01:08:26.000 And like, it's not like you're up here.

01:08:28.000 You could be doing a lot of bad shit with this.

01:08:31.000 Yeah.

01:08:31.000 You'd be wielding this weapon like, you know, you could run for president.

01:08:35.000 Oh, God.

01:08:36.000 Let's do it.

01:08:37.000 No, that's never happening.

01:08:38.000 But yeah, I think that there's very few legitimate outlets for men because everyone has to be, you have to go through the filter of executives and producers and all that.

01:08:50.000 If you're going to put something out there, like some sort of an entertainment product, it has to be filtered by the network.

01:08:55.000 It has to be filtered by all these other voices.

01:08:57.000 And if they want to keep their fucking job, they're not going to let you just be yourself.

01:09:00.000 Right.

01:09:00.000 There's no way.

01:09:01.000 They're going to try to mold you.

01:09:03.000 What about the diversity?

01:09:04.000 What you need is a girl sidekick to balance you out, because everything you're doing is so masculine, and people are going to be really turned off by it.

01:09:09.000 And what about girl voices?

01:09:10.000 You know, I can't believe you two guys are on there, and you're talking about gay rights, and there's no gay people in the room.

01:09:17.000 You need a gay person.

01:09:18.000 And the next thing you know, I've got this woke roundtable, and it's a goddamn disaster.

01:09:23.000 And men, again, they don't...

01:09:25.000 Look, I have no problem with anybody saying, like, you can...

01:09:29.000 If you have a podcast and you're a guy and you just love taking it in the ass, go do a podcast called Take It In The Ass.

01:09:35.000 Have a good time.

01:09:36.000 That's you.

01:09:37.000 But if there's no one filtering you and no one stopping you, you can really accurately reflect who you are.

01:09:45.000 You can accurately project who you are.

01:09:47.000 But if you're a man, just a regular man who likes manly shit, do you like hot rods?

01:09:53.000 Do you like fights?

01:09:55.000 Do you like tits?

01:09:56.000 Do you like these things?

01:09:57.000 Well, then you're a piece of shit.

01:09:58.000 And in this day and age, if you have that, these normal male desires, which fucking every male has, every one, you can't call it toxic masculinity when every man has it.

01:10:14.000 There's no outlet.

01:10:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:16.000 Because everything has to be filtered through an executive or a director or a network.

01:10:22.000 And then what shadow does that create?

01:10:24.000 So every time, you know, what you resist persists, what you repress creates a dark shadow.

01:10:29.000 So when you're taking all of this masculine energy and you're constantly beating men over the head with how bad they are, it's not going anywhere.

01:10:37.000 Now it's just going underground and it's going to leak out in weird fucking ways.

01:10:41.000 Yes.

01:10:42.000 Because they're not allowed to express themselves.

01:10:44.000 And the problem, I see this all the time, is like, oh, toxic masculinity.

01:10:48.000 Toxic masculinity.

01:10:50.000 Let men be men.

01:10:50.000 Let men share their feelings.

01:10:52.000 And then it's like they do, and they're like, shut the fuck up!

01:10:55.000 Well, they don't say let men be men.

01:10:57.000 They want men to change.

01:10:59.000 They want men to adjust.

01:11:01.000 Look, you can be a really good person and also be a man.

01:11:05.000 And actually a manly man.

01:11:07.000 But they don't think that you can.

01:11:08.000 They think that you have to evolve and change.

01:11:10.000 Because the men that are a part of that are all pussies.

01:11:15.000 And there's a lot of those guys out there.

01:11:17.000 There's a lot of those guys out there that don't.

01:11:18.000 Don't like manly men.

01:11:20.000 And they want to think there's something wrong with someone like Jocko.

01:11:23.000 There's something wrong with a guy who likes hot rods and tits.

01:11:25.000 And there's nothing wrong with a guy who's not a manly man either.

01:11:29.000 No, there's nothing wrong with that.

01:11:30.000 There's room for us all.

01:11:32.000 But they're competing.

01:11:32.000 Right, right, right.

01:11:33.000 Every male feminist is competing.

01:11:35.000 I saw somebody with a cis, heteronormative, and I was like, oh, you're a woke dude trying to get laid.

01:11:41.000 Whenever I see that in a cis, heteronormative, I'm like, okay, so you're just...

01:11:46.000 That's all.

01:11:48.000 But they have to do that.

01:11:49.000 I had a bit that I was doing about male feminists.

01:11:51.000 They don't exist.

01:11:53.000 Find me a male feminist that can pick up heavy shit and run fast.

01:11:57.000 They're not real.

01:11:58.000 They're not real.

01:11:59.000 You know who the meanest people have been to me online other than incels and radical feminists?

01:12:05.000 Blue-checked liberal dudes!

01:12:07.000 Some of the allies.

01:12:10.000 They're the people who have come the hardest at me and been the most cruel to me.

01:12:15.000 About what?

01:12:15.000 They're just always on my nuts about something.

01:12:19.000 Am I allowed to say that?

01:12:21.000 Yes.

01:12:21.000 Yeah, you can say that.

01:12:22.000 We'll let you.

01:12:23.000 I got nuts today.

01:12:24.000 It's like a white person using the other one.

01:12:27.000 Oh, that's going to go over well.

01:12:30.000 That's exactly what it's like.

01:12:32.000 What are they getting after you about?

01:12:34.000 What was the last one?

01:12:35.000 You know, I think I said something about Tulsi, how they're like, oh, she's a foreign ass, and everybody's like, you're a fucking idiot, and they just...

01:12:45.000 As I kind of started just speaking my mind, and the weird fucking hard thing about being a feisty comedian and somebody that sometimes writes more serious pieces is that I get to...

01:13:01.000 I don't mean to, but I dance out line of like...

01:13:06.000 It kind of cracks me up when people get all outraged.

01:13:09.000 Yes, of course.

01:13:10.000 It kind of makes me laugh.

01:13:12.000 It's fun.

01:13:12.000 I can't help.

01:13:13.000 The comic in me is like, that's my...

01:13:15.000 I'm supposed to be pushing the envelope and buttons and the free speech stuff, I will die on that hill.

01:13:22.000 That is...

01:13:23.000 Literally a hill I will die on.

01:13:25.000 That's the hill to die on.

01:13:26.000 And that is when I see the sides going, I'm like, okay, yeah, we've got to push against some of the corruption and this is getting bad over here.

01:13:34.000 And then I'm like, whoa, okay, this is authoritarian and insane and you can't say anything.

01:13:40.000 So many of these woke, left dudes are mush.

01:13:44.000 They're mushy.

01:13:45.000 They're made out of mush.

01:13:46.000 Like, come run a hill.

01:13:47.000 You're made out of mush.

01:13:48.000 Do a deadlift.

01:13:49.000 You're made out of mush.

01:13:50.000 That was one of my favorite Bill Burr routines ever of the guy screaming on the plane where he's like, ah!

01:13:56.000 And he's like, that is a scream that should come from a woman or a child.

01:14:00.000 And he's like, no grown man should ever have that coming out.

01:14:04.000 And he's like, that's like, and he was talking about how animals would be like, stay away from that one, Lindsay.

01:14:10.000 Yeah.

01:14:10.000 Oh, God.

01:14:11.000 Because it is...

01:14:12.000 I don't think...

01:14:14.000 I was thinking about it.

01:14:15.000 I'm like, I don't think I've ever dated a liberal dude.

01:14:18.000 Never?

01:14:18.000 Because they're...

01:14:20.000 I don't know.

01:14:21.000 I don't think so.

01:14:22.000 I don't...

01:14:23.000 Not in the...

01:14:24.000 Not recently, because I like my men masculine.

01:14:28.000 But you can be masculine and also be liberal.

01:14:30.000 I'm pretty liberal.

01:14:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:32.000 I know you are.

01:14:32.000 I know.

01:14:33.000 I'm not saying that...

01:14:34.000 You can be masculine and liberal.

01:14:36.000 It just doesn't happen that often.

01:14:38.000 Yeah.

01:14:38.000 I think they're all taken.

01:14:39.000 They've, like, snatched up pretty quick by the liberal women who are like, I see one!

01:14:44.000 He's a unicorn!

01:14:47.000 Well, and I think, too, we come from a different generation, so it's more of a struggle maybe now than it was back when you got married.

01:14:56.000 Because it's being suppressed now.

01:14:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:56.000 Men think there's something wrong with it now.

01:14:58.000 Which is not good.

01:15:00.000 It's so crazy.

01:15:00.000 No, no, no.

01:15:01.000 And I think most women, many women, I'm feisty and opinionated.

01:15:10.000 I can't have a guy who's not going to put me in my place.

01:15:16.000 I can't have a man who's going to just let me walk all over them because I will.

01:15:21.000 Yeah, it's normal.

01:15:22.000 It's natural.

01:15:23.000 And no one wants that.

01:15:24.000 Well, I think there's a natural inclination that certain women have with weak men to push them around.

01:15:28.000 I think it's normal.

01:15:30.000 I think you're testing the boundaries of what you can get away with and not get away with communicating with each other.

01:15:35.000 Well, and it's also the whole concept of nice guy.

01:15:38.000 It's like, well, you're not a nice guy.

01:15:40.000 You just were trying to backdoor your way into dating me by being a friend, and it's manipulative.

01:15:47.000 Do Jordan Peterson talks about that.

01:15:49.000 Jordan Peterson says that you don't want to be a nice guy.

01:15:52.000 You want to be a dangerous person who's nice.

01:15:56.000 A dangerously nice person.

01:15:58.000 No, a dangerous person who is nice.

01:16:00.000 But just being a nice person all the time.

01:16:03.000 You have to be nice.

01:16:05.000 You're nice because you have no choice.

01:16:07.000 You want to be a dangerous person who chooses to be nice.

01:16:11.000 There's a big difference.

01:16:12.000 That's interesting.

01:16:13.000 Because you have a choice to be nice or to not be nice.

01:16:16.000 And I want a dangerous person when this shit hits the fan.

01:16:20.000 Everybody does.

01:16:21.000 Everybody does.

01:16:23.000 You want a dangerous woman, too.

01:16:24.000 You want someone who can figure it out.

01:16:27.000 You don't want mush.

01:16:28.000 People are made out of mush.

01:16:30.000 Do you think that we're making more mush?

01:16:32.000 Yes!

01:16:33.000 If there's anything I think in this life that is un-fucking-bendable, it's that we are making more mush.

01:16:39.000 And how do you think that we helpfully and not, you know, I find that I do what I did as a child, which is shame the mush.

01:16:49.000 Well, I think you went through a whole fucking litany of chaotic events that shaped you and you had terrible things happen to you and you learned from them.

01:16:59.000 And then you became who you are today.

01:17:00.000 You don't have to do it that way.

01:17:02.000 No, but my point is using how do you inspire people who might be attracted by this kind of...

01:17:10.000 The reason I started my podcast is just so that people could tell stories of grit and resilience because I find that what happens is we'll start talking about the victimhood culture, but then it sounds like we're victims.

01:17:23.000 And I don't want to do that either.

01:17:25.000 I want to build something grit and resilience.

01:17:28.000 But how do you, you know, I worry that these young minds are being indoctrinated.

01:17:33.000 And this is what I always ask them, like the women in particular, young women in particular with like intersectionality, which seems like this race.

01:17:41.000 I'm like, play the tape forward for me.

01:17:43.000 Where does this lead?

01:17:45.000 How does this lead to self-esteem?

01:17:48.000 How does this lead to feelings of empowerment?

01:17:51.000 I mean, my therapist and I talk about this all the time, how hard a time she's having with the younger women because they're all coming in with this sense of perpetual victimhood of everywhere you go.

01:18:03.000 It's the patriarchy and everything is oppressing you and the whole idea of therapy is to get you out of Feeling those, you know, going from maybe being victimized, feeling like a victim, to taking that and being more empowered.

01:18:21.000 I don't exactly know what you could say to young women, because I've never gone through that experience.

01:18:26.000 But for sure, for young men, they need something that's difficult.

01:18:30.000 Young men need difficult things in their life.

01:18:34.000 Boundary waters or whatever.

01:18:35.000 Yeah, something.

01:18:36.000 Anything.

01:18:36.000 For me, I always tell them jujitsu.

01:18:38.000 Get involved in jujitsu.

01:18:40.000 Because I don't...

01:18:42.000 Getting involved in martial arts that involve striking is fucking dangerous.

01:18:46.000 Right.

01:18:47.000 Because brain damage is for keeps.

01:18:49.000 Right, right, right.

01:18:49.000 You keep that shit for the rest of your life.

01:18:50.000 That's why I'm so adamant about trying to get fighters to quit when I think they should quit.

01:18:56.000 You know, when they've hit this wall and they come to me for advice, and it's happened many times, I'm like, you gotta stop.

01:19:03.000 You gotta stop.

01:19:04.000 There's no way of fans or butts.

01:19:05.000 Don't look for that fucking pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because you've already been knocked out four or five times.

01:19:10.000 You gotta stop.

01:19:11.000 Yeah.

01:19:11.000 Because if you don't stop, you're going to be a 60-year-old person that shits their pants.

01:19:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:15.000 Your wife's going to have to walk you to the car and you're not going to know where you are in a supermarket.

01:19:18.000 You're going to get lost.

01:19:20.000 This is what happens.

01:19:21.000 This is real.

01:19:22.000 So striking, striking arts are very dangerous.

01:19:25.000 And I think you've got to know when to get off that fucking boat.

01:19:28.000 You've got to know.

01:19:29.000 But grappling is a different animal.

01:19:31.000 Yeah.

01:19:31.000 Grappling, you could teach people jujitsu.

01:19:35.000 I went to jujitsu with a guy who was fucking 62 years old.

01:19:39.000 I was like, how old are you, man?

01:19:41.000 He's like, 62. I'm like, holy shit!

01:19:43.000 Purple belt.

01:19:44.000 62. Going after it.

01:19:46.000 Trying hard.

01:19:47.000 Trying to get his black belt.

01:19:48.000 I'm like, good for you, man.

01:19:49.000 It was a fucking cool conversation.

01:19:51.000 That, to me, is something that I would encourage young men to do because it's really difficult, and in the beginning you feel hopeless, and then as you get better at it, you learn, oh my god, with hard work and discipline, and I just fucking keep showing up, just keep showing up and figuring it out, I can get better at something.

01:20:08.000 It's a very difficult thing.

01:20:09.000 I can use that as a vehicle for developing my human potential, and also I realize that I can overcome struggle.

01:20:15.000 I can overcome these things and I can get better.

01:20:18.000 And then also the exertion of energy.

01:20:21.000 Just going out there and fucking exhausting yourself.

01:20:25.000 You're more calm and peaceful.

01:20:26.000 And then there's another thing about jujitsu is your constant physical contact.

01:20:31.000 People need hugs.

01:20:33.000 As weird as that sounds.

01:20:34.000 But men need even hugging each other.

01:20:36.000 It sounds like maybe gay or something.

01:20:38.000 I don't care.

01:20:39.000 But it's good.

01:20:40.000 It feels good to hug.

01:20:41.000 Even though you're trying to kill each other, you're touching each other.

01:20:44.000 Connection is important, and you need that brotherhood.

01:20:47.000 There's something about that camaraderie that you have to have.

01:20:51.000 There's a camaraderie that exists in jiu-jitsu that's unlike any other camaraderie I've ever experienced because there's a certain resentment from striking.

01:21:00.000 If a guy beats my ass, if I go spar with some guy and he beats my ass, next time I see him, I'm like, I'm going to fuck this dude up.

01:21:05.000 I don't like him that much.

01:21:07.000 He hurt me.

01:21:07.000 He gave me a headache.

01:21:08.000 Like I went home, I have a headache because I got hit me with a punch.

01:21:11.000 Yeah.

01:21:11.000 So I'm thinking, I'm going to fuck him up.

01:21:13.000 And like, this is like what men do, like in sparring.

01:21:15.000 And sparring oftentimes turns into fights.

01:21:18.000 But in jujitsu, like you could choke me and arm bar, we could choke each other.

01:21:22.000 And then afterwards, it's all love.

01:21:24.000 It's all hugs and clap hands and thanks, man.

01:21:27.000 And people tell you how they caught you.

01:21:30.000 And they tell you, you know, I almost tapped there, dude.

01:21:32.000 You almost had me in the guillotine.

01:21:33.000 And we'll laugh about it.

01:21:35.000 Like, There's a really great class that I've been wanting to take, and it's at Gracie.

01:21:40.000 Which one?

01:21:41.000 Which Gracie?

01:21:41.000 It's Women's Empowerment, but it's all just self-defense, the one in Beverly Hills.

01:21:45.000 Okay, cool.

01:21:46.000 But it's an amazing class.

01:21:47.000 I sat in on it.

01:21:49.000 Because I like it, as a woman, it feels like the most realistic.

01:21:52.000 I feel like I can actually use it.

01:21:55.000 For sure.

01:21:56.000 Jiu-Jitsu is the most realistic for women.

01:21:57.000 Just to get away.

01:21:58.000 Yes.

01:21:59.000 To defend yourself.

01:22:01.000 Yeah, to defend yourself just to get away.

01:22:02.000 I'm not going to sit there and fight.

01:22:04.000 But just give myself that window of an opportunity that I might, you know, just a chance, a fighting chance.

01:22:10.000 Because otherwise, yeah, no.

01:22:12.000 Well, jiu-jitsu is also something that someone who's a weaker person can effectively utilize on someone who's stronger than that.

01:22:18.000 Right, right.

01:22:18.000 Because it's so technique-based.

01:22:20.000 Yeah, I think that that is, you know, one of the things I've learned from all the men who were writing into me at Playboy is Jordan Peterson has something that really speaks to these guys.

01:22:32.000 And, you know, I've seen him get a lot of crap, but, like, he has saved so many men that I know.

01:22:39.000 I mean, these guys have written me letters like...

01:22:42.000 Telling me so much, and I'm not sure really what it is about his program or whatever it is that he's saying, his message.

01:22:51.000 Well, he's concentrating on young men.

01:22:54.000 He's resonating with young men because...

01:22:57.000 Is it discipline?

01:22:58.000 What is his primary...

01:23:00.000 He always talks about cleaning your room.

01:23:02.000 Right, right, right.

01:23:02.000 Make your bed.

01:23:03.000 Messy mind, messy...

01:23:05.000 Yeah, same thing.

01:23:07.000 I mean, he's essentially saying, clean your room, get your shit together.

01:23:09.000 I mean, there's so much to what he's saying that expands far beyond that as well.

01:23:16.000 And, you know, his movies are good.

01:23:17.000 He says there's a documentary about him right now, The Rise of Jordan Peterson, and it's getting censored.

01:23:22.000 Why?

01:23:22.000 These people are protesting it being in these theaters.

01:23:25.000 They don't know.

01:23:25.000 They think they're supposed to censor him.

01:23:27.000 They think he's transphobic and homophobic and all these different things.

01:23:30.000 But he's helped so many people.

01:23:31.000 But you know his origin?

01:23:32.000 Do you know what happened in Toronto?

01:23:34.000 No.

01:23:34.000 Not really.

01:23:34.000 There was a bill that was being passed that was going to force you to use one of...

01:23:38.000 You know, there's this gender pronoun bill.

01:23:42.000 Like, say, if you wanted to use one of the 78 different gender pronouns, you would be obligated, like, legally obligated to use them.

01:23:51.000 And he was protesting against that.

01:23:52.000 It's like you're using compelled speech.

01:23:54.000 You can't compel me legally.

01:23:56.000 Canada does not have free speech.

01:23:58.000 They do not have the First Amendment.

01:23:59.000 So it wasn't that he didn't want to use their preferred pronoun.

01:24:05.000 It was that he didn't want to be compelled to use it.

01:24:07.000 Yes, legally compelled.

01:24:07.000 Oh, got it.

01:24:08.000 Legally compelled.

01:24:09.000 And you didn't want to use made-up words either.

01:24:11.000 Right.

01:24:11.000 Like, because there's Z, Zer, and Jim, and all these different crazy made-up words.

01:24:15.000 Yeah.

01:24:16.000 Like, you want to be a they?

01:24:19.000 You want to be a he or a she?

01:24:21.000 Like, what are we doing here?

01:24:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:24.000 What are you?

01:24:25.000 Okay, if you want me to call Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner.

01:24:29.000 Okay, I'll call her Caitlyn.

01:24:30.000 That's fine.

01:24:30.000 You want me to say it's a her?

01:24:31.000 Okay, I'll say it's a her.

01:24:32.000 That's fine.

01:24:32.000 I don't care.

01:24:33.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:24:34.000 But you want to start making up words?

01:24:35.000 And that's where he's like, no.

01:24:36.000 And you want to legally compel.

01:24:38.000 And you want to call me a bigot for not letting my kid get hormones.

01:24:41.000 Like, this is where, this is where, or the sports thing I get very, like, outraged about.

01:24:46.000 It's insane.

01:24:47.000 It's insane.

01:24:48.000 There's a bunch of different schools that are letting kids compete in the gender that they identify with.

01:24:54.000 And in those places, those women's track events are fucking dominated by men.

01:25:01.000 Dominated.

01:25:02.000 They're breaking world records.

01:25:03.000 What was that woman's name?

01:25:04.000 Rachel McKinnon.

01:25:05.000 She just broke the world's record for the cycling event.

01:25:07.000 And she used to be a man.

01:25:09.000 And you're a bigot if you don't agree with this.

01:25:11.000 No, you broke the world's record!

01:25:13.000 How'd that happen?

01:25:15.000 What is happening here?

01:25:16.000 What's happening here is you're a guy.

01:25:18.000 You were born a guy.

01:25:19.000 This is when I feel like I'm in a simulation and there's somebody who's like, let's see how many people we can get to get on board with this shit.

01:25:30.000 Or I'm like, maybe I'm just old.

01:25:34.000 No.

01:25:35.000 What's happening is women are getting fucked over.

01:25:37.000 That's why this is the most crazy.

01:25:39.000 I get called a turf a lot.

01:25:40.000 But they're in the middle of this ideological battle, and women are losing scholarships, they're losing their ability to compete with people of their own gender, or their own sex, whatever you want to call it, whatever the fucking chromosomes.

01:25:54.000 When you start adding trans men and trans women into the mix, you're going to get two things, depending on the sport.

01:26:02.000 The trans men are going to get fucking smoked.

01:26:04.000 Period.

01:26:04.000 When women transition to men and they want to be a man and compete with men, they're going to get fucked up in almost every sport, particularly fighting.

01:26:12.000 It is funny how much it's gotten men talking about periods.

01:26:17.000 Has it?

01:26:18.000 I'll see men defending a woman's right to talk about her period.

01:26:22.000 I'm like, yes, that's right.

01:26:24.000 Now you're a male feminist.

01:26:25.000 What man has ever had a problem with women talking about their periods?

01:26:28.000 No, no, I know.

01:26:29.000 Who are those guys?

01:26:29.000 They exist.

01:26:30.000 They're squeamish.

01:26:32.000 That is so weak.

01:26:34.000 Mushy.

01:26:34.000 That's mushy, man.

01:26:35.000 Guys are scared of pussy blood.

01:26:37.000 You're not scared of a bloody steak, but you're scared of vagina blood?

01:26:40.000 Yeah, there are guys who are squeamish about it.

01:26:43.000 That's so weird.

01:26:44.000 Shake them off, believe!

01:26:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:47.000 Shake them off.

01:26:47.000 Yeah, soft-headed.

01:26:49.000 It does feel a banana.

01:26:51.000 I read something somewhere where it said, you know, there was...

01:26:58.000 Gender, like, stereotypes were being determined by biology.

01:27:02.000 And now we're using biology...

01:27:05.000 Now we're using gender to determine biology.

01:27:09.000 So biology determined gender stereotypes.

01:27:12.000 The male and the female and whatever.

01:27:14.000 And there was a reaction to that.

01:27:16.000 And now as a reaction to it, they're using gender to determine biology.

01:27:20.000 And how it's getting...

01:27:21.000 Yeah, it's like...

01:27:22.000 It's so confusing.

01:27:23.000 It's so...

01:27:24.000 The thing is there's just a broad spectrum of people.

01:27:27.000 And there's low testosterone males and there's high testosterone females.

01:27:31.000 And that should be okay.

01:27:32.000 We should be allowed to be whatever the fuck we want.

01:27:35.000 But the thing is that the low testosterone males can't compete with the high testosterone males.

01:27:40.000 And the high testosterone females can't compete with the high estrogen females.

01:27:45.000 And there's like, if you want a Barbie doll and you're built like the Hulk...

01:27:49.000 You know what I mean?

01:27:50.000 If you want to be Barbie, but instead you're built like Tom Arnold.

01:27:56.000 You know what I mean?

01:27:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:58.000 Like one of them lesbians that always wears vests.

01:28:02.000 I'm definitely getting canceled.

01:28:03.000 There's a type of lesbian that wears those Patagonia vests everywhere, right?

01:28:08.000 I have a Subaru.

01:28:09.000 My brother's like, Britt, you could have just come out.

01:28:11.000 You should come out.

01:28:12.000 Those thick ones with the wide waists.

01:28:15.000 I get called an alpha widow all the time.

01:28:17.000 That's what the insults call me.

01:28:18.000 Alpha what?

01:28:19.000 Alpha widow.

01:28:19.000 It's a term.

01:28:20.000 Alpha widow?

01:28:21.000 Yeah, you can Google it and everything.

01:28:23.000 It's like a woman who chases after alpha males, but they're not interested in like wifing me up.

01:28:30.000 And so I end up a widow.

01:28:32.000 Okay.

01:28:33.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:28:34.000 But what I was going to say is that unrealistic body types is what I was going to say.

01:28:39.000 This is a thing that gets brought up all the time.

01:28:41.000 They've even had these promos and these advertisements taken down, particularly in the UK, there was a big story about that, because they were promoting unrealistic body types.

01:28:50.000 Okay.

01:28:51.000 One of those guys tried to do that, too.

01:28:52.000 One of those Vox guys.

01:28:54.000 Is this a body positive thing?

01:28:56.000 No, it's not.

01:28:56.000 He was trying to say, don't follow these gay...

01:28:59.000 He's a gay guy.

01:29:00.000 He's saying, don't follow these gay Instagram thirst pages because they're promoting an unrealistic body type.

01:29:08.000 And the fucking gay guys just attacked him.

01:29:11.000 To the point where he had to shut his fucking Instagram down for a while.

01:29:14.000 Because gay guys don't play with that shit.

01:29:16.000 No!

01:29:17.000 That unrealistic body type, you could pull that off on some women.

01:29:20.000 They're like, yeah, it's unrealistic while they're eating cake.

01:29:23.000 Yeah.

01:29:23.000 But it's not unrealistic.

01:29:25.000 That's a real woman.

01:29:26.000 Yeah.

01:29:27.000 It's just not your body type.

01:29:28.000 Or it's not typical.

01:29:29.000 Well, look, if you're a fucking person, I'm 5'8".

01:29:33.000 If I look at LeBron James, 7' tall man, I go, well, that's an unrealistic body type.

01:29:38.000 No.

01:29:38.000 No, it's realistic.

01:29:39.000 He's playing basketball professionally.

01:29:41.000 He's a real person.

01:29:42.000 It's not a fucking hologram.

01:29:43.000 It's not unrealistic.

01:29:44.000 It's just unachievable for me.

01:29:47.000 That's just what it is.

01:29:48.000 Just know your limits.

01:29:50.000 Right.

01:29:50.000 That's what you got.

01:29:51.000 That's the fucking hand you got.

01:29:53.000 That has nothing to do with realistic or unrealistic.

01:29:55.000 If you see a girl and she's got a tiny waist and a big ass and big tits, she's just got that Jennifer Lopez gene, fuck!

01:30:02.000 That's just her.

01:30:03.000 She got lucky!

01:30:04.000 You didn't get that lucky.

01:30:05.000 That is realistic.

01:30:07.000 Yeah.

01:30:07.000 Now, if they're using that to sell fucking Fanta or Adidas shoes or whatever the fuck it is, so what?

01:30:14.000 If you're saying, well, all these girls feel terrible because that's unrealistic.

01:30:17.000 That's life.

01:30:18.000 That is life.

01:30:20.000 Yeah, again, we come back to why are we responsible for everyone's feelings?

01:30:25.000 Get off the fucking couch and go do something about it if you don't want to feel sad.

01:30:32.000 Do you know who no one cares about, though?

01:30:34.000 Fat dudes.

01:30:35.000 Fat dudes can fuck off.

01:30:37.000 No one cares.

01:30:38.000 No one feels bad about fat dudes.

01:30:39.000 Well, they get away with the whole dad bod thing, which I wrote a whole piece about, where I was like, dad bod isn't...

01:30:45.000 Dad bods and guys with a gut, like Burt Kreischer bods, that bod...

01:30:48.000 Dad bod isn't an excuse to be lazy, though.

01:30:50.000 I know some guys who will lean really into that.

01:30:53.000 They're like, it's a dad bod.

01:30:54.000 I'm like...

01:30:55.000 What do you mean?

01:30:56.000 They like it?

01:30:57.000 Yeah, they kind of get away with it.

01:30:59.000 Guys get cute, adorable little dad bod, and women get fupa.

01:31:06.000 I don't think so, though.

01:31:07.000 No girl wants a dad bod, do they?

01:31:09.000 The only reason why a woman wants a dad bod is because they know that the guy has less options, so he's more likely to stick around.

01:31:15.000 Right?

01:31:16.000 If the guy's got a dad vibe, I was like, where you going, bitch?

01:31:18.000 Or his red.

01:31:19.000 I was going to fuck you.

01:31:20.000 There.

01:31:20.000 Either one.

01:31:21.000 But I mean, look, I'm sure some women like doughy guys.

01:31:25.000 They like it.

01:31:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:26.000 And I think some women like more like girth and meat, like a little bit of weight.

01:31:30.000 Football player looking dudes.

01:31:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:32.000 Some girls like big, thick women, too.

01:31:34.000 Everybody's different.

01:31:36.000 I just think that if you like somebody...

01:31:38.000 And here, to your point, is that it's fine whatever you like, whatever your type is, if you're into a big dude, whatever, but the people who like people who are fit are somehow now being shaped.

01:31:50.000 The only thing that's changed is people's ability to express themselves online through social media.

01:31:54.000 That's the only thing that's changed.

01:31:55.000 And because of that, people are yelling about things that they can't do.

01:32:01.000 Do you get fit shamed?

01:32:03.000 I get called a meathead.

01:32:05.000 I guess that's fit shamed.

01:32:07.000 Guilty as charged.

01:32:08.000 Fuck off!

01:32:09.000 I don't care.

01:32:11.000 But if you're going to shame me for being in shape, like, congratulations.

01:32:16.000 I don't care.

01:32:17.000 I don't care.

01:32:18.000 It doesn't work.

01:32:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:20.000 Because you feel great because you're in shape.

01:32:22.000 It's like someone shaming you for being successful.

01:32:23.000 Oh, you got me.

01:32:24.000 Sorry.

01:32:25.000 Sorry, I figured out a lot of shit.

01:32:26.000 It's such a weird, this is a weird, the weird world is that it feels like we're raising the, you know, the bar isn't, it's being lowered and lowered and lowered.

01:32:38.000 And so instead of raising our standards and trying to everybody lift each other up, it's more just like a very small majority that's like, come down!

01:32:47.000 But again, it's a tiny amount of people who are making this noise.

01:32:51.000 We've been talking about it.

01:32:52.000 It has an outsized influence.

01:32:54.000 Well, it has people reacting to it.

01:32:56.000 They're bending towards it, but I think it's temporary.

01:32:59.000 Do you?

01:33:00.000 Yes!

01:33:01.000 You're optimistic.

01:33:02.000 You think it's going to eat its own tail?

01:33:05.000 You can never be woke enough.

01:33:08.000 They go after each other.

01:33:09.000 They turn on each other.

01:33:12.000 I don't think it's real.

01:33:13.000 I don't think it's real.

01:33:14.000 Look, there's certain things that people always are going to like, and there's certain things that men are going to like, there's certain things that women are going to like.

01:33:21.000 It's just the way it is.

01:33:22.000 I do think it gets sorted pretty quickly in natural disasters.

01:33:29.000 You know when I always say this?

01:33:30.000 I'm like, you can call yourself whatever you want.

01:33:32.000 And the other interesting thing is your computer knows better than whatever you're saying online.

01:33:38.000 Your search engine?

01:33:38.000 Yeah, they've done studies, and it doesn't matter what you're saying online.

01:33:41.000 Your search engine knows what gender you are, essentially.

01:33:44.000 I mean, it can generally tell.

01:33:47.000 Like, probably with a large accuracy.

01:33:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:33:51.000 You look at my search results, it would be fucking super obvious what I am.

01:33:55.000 But I think that we just live in this really confusing moment in history.

01:34:01.000 So, I guess my fear is that the...

01:34:09.000 The youth are ingesting all this kind of...

01:34:14.000 It's confusing for them.

01:34:15.000 Yeah, it is.

01:34:17.000 It is, but it's also...

01:34:18.000 Look, as much as I like to make fun of woke culture, the good thing about it is it's making people more sensitive.

01:34:25.000 I agree.

01:34:25.000 It's making people nicer.

01:34:26.000 Yeah.

01:34:26.000 But not necessarily nicer because some of the people that are woke are using that as an excuse to be a fucking asshole to people.

01:34:34.000 Right.

01:34:34.000 To force compliance and be an asshole.

01:34:36.000 But because of that, because of that, it's again, it's like the tide.

01:34:41.000 It's going in and out and it's going to find its healthy level.

01:34:46.000 Yeah, Gen Z is amazing.

01:34:47.000 I have nephews who are Gen Z, and they're so funny.

01:34:50.000 I don't even know what they are.

01:34:50.000 They're the new ones?

01:34:52.000 They're basically like 19 and below.

01:34:56.000 And they're just so, I don't know, they're just funny.

01:35:01.000 Three years ago, my nephew, they've already taken all this kind of woke language, and they've metabolized it.

01:35:08.000 They're like, dude, mom, she was so triggered.

01:35:11.000 And they didn't mean it like she was getting bullied or anything.

01:35:15.000 It was like a girl who got a bad grade.

01:35:17.000 And they were already using the language.

01:35:19.000 Yeah, they're already taking it and memeing it.

01:35:21.000 You know why?

01:35:22.000 Podcasts.

01:35:23.000 Yeah.

01:35:23.000 Yeah, they listen to podcasts.

01:35:25.000 Those young kids who listen to it all the time.

01:35:27.000 There's a huge, small Ben Shapiro cult of like 12 to 14 year old boys.

01:35:32.000 It's no joke.

01:35:33.000 You know what's really funny?

01:35:34.000 The moms who hate him.

01:35:36.000 Well, that's why.

01:35:37.000 Yeah.

01:35:38.000 I mean, all my friends, I have a lot of female friends on, like, the west side, and they are all super lib, you know, like, cried for three days, acted like it was 9-11.

01:35:46.000 I'm like, did planes fly after Trump won?

01:35:49.000 That lady with the fucking sock hat with the glasses on her knees screaming?

01:35:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:53.000 I still watch it every week.

01:35:55.000 It's my favorite.

01:35:56.000 It's my favorite.

01:35:57.000 Tell me that lady didn't know a camera was on her.

01:35:59.000 No, but that's the- She fucking knew.

01:36:01.000 Of course.

01:36:02.000 That's half the reason why she was doing it that way.

01:36:03.000 It's this book, you have to read the book Mediated.

01:36:06.000 It's my Bible for this time, and I read it in 2006. Who wrote that?

01:36:09.000 Thomas de Zengo Tisha.

01:36:11.000 He wrote about, it's essentially like how we're all self-reflexive, and he talks about this, how everyone, when everything is mediated, everyone knows their role.

01:36:22.000 They know what part they're playing.

01:36:23.000 This book is amazing.

01:36:25.000 I'm going to write this down.

01:36:25.000 Oh, Mediated.

01:36:27.000 How media shapes the world and the way you live.

01:36:30.000 But he has a chapter on identity politics.

01:36:34.000 I'm going to write this down right now.

01:36:35.000 He was explaining all this post-modernism before Jordan Peterson and all of the critical theory, all of the people.

01:36:44.000 And he's a brilliant writer.

01:36:46.000 When was this?

01:36:46.000 When did this all fall out?

01:36:48.000 2006 it came out.

01:36:49.000 It's so good.

01:36:50.000 And I just...

01:36:52.000 2006?

01:36:52.000 Isn't it crazy when someone catches shit, like, as it's happening?

01:36:55.000 They catch the smell in the air, like, oh, I know where this is going.

01:36:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:59.000 He called it.

01:37:00.000 And I... I probably reference this book on every talk I have because he talks about exactly this when Princess Diana died.

01:37:08.000 He said, you know, everyone knew their roles.

01:37:11.000 And he was talking about how the Monica Lewinsky thing is so interesting because she was like, in her TED Talk, she talks about this, how she was patient zero for...

01:37:22.000 Online mobbing.

01:37:23.000 It was like the first news story for the 24-hour news cycle and really the first person who got like mobbed by everybody.

01:37:31.000 Have you ever read John Ronson's book, So You've Been Publicly Shamed?

01:37:34.000 Yes, I love him.

01:37:35.000 Yeah, he's great.

01:37:36.000 That book is amazing.

01:37:37.000 And I remember because I got on Twitter right when the Justine Sacco thing happened and I was like, this is bad.

01:37:44.000 What are you guys doing?

01:37:45.000 I didn't know what was happening.

01:37:47.000 I was like, this is not good, you guys.

01:37:49.000 That's the story of your life.

01:37:49.000 It's like walking into a fucking gang fight.

01:37:52.000 Hey!

01:37:52.000 Hey, put the bottles down!

01:37:54.000 Why do you have a torch?

01:37:55.000 What the fuck?

01:37:57.000 I know, it's true.

01:37:58.000 Every time I go on one of these things, they're like, how'd you end up here?

01:38:01.000 I'm like, I literally tweeted my ass into the center of the culture wars.

01:38:06.000 And I'm like, wait, what happened?

01:38:08.000 Now I'm writing about it.

01:38:09.000 Oh my god, it's so funny.

01:38:11.000 It is such weird times because in so many ways, I mean, I went to the sex robot factory, and I just wrote about this for a column that's coming out, and it was like that whole Uncanny Valley, you know?

01:38:23.000 I felt like I was walking in and out of it through the whole...

01:38:27.000 Have you seen Whitney's?

01:38:28.000 Have you seen hers?

01:38:29.000 Yeah, and it was where she got hers done.

01:38:31.000 And it was such a weird...

01:38:34.000 It was like...

01:38:37.000 It was so, you know, how they're making them, like, warm.

01:38:40.000 I'm like, as soon as these things can make sandwiches, like, we're fucked.

01:38:44.000 It's gonna happen.

01:38:45.000 No, women are done!

01:38:47.000 We're gonna be toast!

01:38:48.000 Did you see Ex Machina?

01:38:49.000 Yes.

01:38:50.000 She's hot, even though you can see through her skin into her robot parts.

01:38:54.000 She's still hot.

01:38:55.000 Yeah.

01:38:56.000 Like, that whole Turing test, that's going to happen.

01:39:00.000 Like, people are going to not be able to distinguish whether or not something is a robot or a person.

01:39:05.000 It's going to happen.

01:39:06.000 Ugh, God.

01:39:06.000 It's probably going to happen within 100 years.

01:39:08.000 And then they're so funny, because in the piece I was writing, I'm like, it's so weird because they're all so optimistic, and they're like, no, it's for the guys who are lonely, and it's like that opening scene in Jurassic Park where you're like, what could possibly go wrong?

01:39:19.000 You're like, I wrote something a long time ago where I was making fun of people who had real dolls, and this guy wrote to me, and it made me feel bad.

01:39:26.000 Did he lose his wife?

01:39:27.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:39:28.000 He was just horribly scarred from acne, and he could never get a girl, and he just had a shit roll of the dice.

01:39:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:36.000 And he was talking, but he goes, I'd be happy to talk to you about it.

01:39:41.000 Sometimes you make fun of something, and then someone reaches out to you, and now you're a human that you're communicating with.

01:39:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:48.000 Oh, this isn't fun anymore.

01:39:49.000 Well, that was what Whitney was saying.

01:39:52.000 She was saying that she wanted to kind of think they were all creeps, and then she went on their message boards, and they were all really lovely guys who took really good care of their dolls.

01:40:01.000 And I think that, again, relationships and human sexuality are complicated, but when I was asking the guy in charge of AI... Because what creeped me out more than even the dolls hanging from the meat hooks, like all that shit, was that they're...

01:40:19.000 So with the app, you know how...

01:40:21.000 I'm sure she explained how it works, where it's like, now they're getting into...

01:40:25.000 Did you see the movie Her?

01:40:26.000 Yeah.

01:40:26.000 Yes.

01:40:27.000 Okay, so that's really what they're focusing on so that it's essentially like if you had the app and then you left to go to the podcast because it's in your schedule, then the robot would be like, see you soon, Joe.

01:40:40.000 Miss ya!

01:40:40.000 And it would send a text.

01:40:42.000 And so now you have this relationship and really the doll is just the physical form of this persona that you have a relationship with in the cloud.

01:40:53.000 And I was like, okay.

01:40:54.000 I have to pee so bad.

01:40:55.000 You can stop for a second.

01:40:57.000 How can we stop?

01:40:59.000 We don't have to, I guess.

01:41:00.000 Can you guys talk for a second?

01:41:02.000 Sure.

01:41:02.000 Talk to Jamie real quick.

01:41:03.000 We did two podcasts in a row.

01:41:05.000 I have to pee real bad.

01:41:06.000 I'll be right back.

01:41:07.000 Jump in a restaurant talk.

01:41:09.000 We're going to talk about restaurants.

01:41:11.000 I don't want to talk about that, but I can't concentrate.

01:41:14.000 Yeah, I can get it.

01:41:15.000 I have these.

01:41:16.000 When did you go to the sex doll factory?

01:41:17.000 Like last month.

01:41:19.000 Oh, really?

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 Okay.

01:41:20.000 The piece is in...

01:41:21.000 It's coming out soon, actually.

01:41:24.000 Spectator has a...

01:41:25.000 It's like the oldest magazine in the UK, and they launched a United States version.

01:41:33.000 And, um, so they have one, and then the next column I wrote for them is about the, um, it's like that, called the Uncanny Valley of the Dolls.

01:41:44.000 Did they show you any new, anything new they're working on?

01:41:47.000 No, I mean, it's all the same, and it seems pretty, they not, you know, they have like the self-lubricating ones coming, and like the ones that heat up, and It's more the technology that they're trying to make more interactive.

01:42:03.000 So it's the actual AI that's really interesting.

01:42:07.000 And then I think they want to move towards, like, getting cameras in the eyes.

01:42:12.000 And it was so funny because the AI guys are so funny, guys who deal with that.

01:42:16.000 They're just a different breed.

01:42:18.000 And he was like, I was on a jury and I was thinking, this would be the perfect place to have a sex doll with a camera in the eyes.

01:42:25.000 I was like, that's your thought?

01:42:27.000 Like...

01:42:28.000 If only there's a sex doll in the corner with the cameras in the eyes.

01:42:32.000 I think of a quick question.

01:42:33.000 I wonder, like, is there any women that are working there?

01:42:35.000 Is it all guys programming?

01:42:37.000 It's all women.

01:42:37.000 No, no, no.

01:42:37.000 And that's what was so interesting is that, and I talk about this in the piece, I'm like, there's my perception, which is that I'm going to this huge warehouse, and it's like all these kind of sketchy dudes, and it's like a dystopian kind of creep show.

01:42:50.000 And then I get there and it's mostly just artists and women and men and people who are, you know, like character design and they're truly artists.

01:42:58.000 You walk in and it looks like a fucking tattoo parlor.

01:43:01.000 And so other than like the different sets of lips and nipples on the wall, you would think you were walking into like a tattoo parlor.

01:43:09.000 So it's so chill and then, yeah, you kind of...

01:43:14.000 Go in and out of it being, like, when you hear the stories of the people who lost their wife or somebody who had acne, I see how this is useful.

01:43:25.000 And maybe people just want to hold, like you said, they want to hold something.

01:43:29.000 It's incremental steps.

01:43:32.000 Robot domination?

01:43:33.000 Dissolving of reality.

01:43:35.000 Reality is going to be either virtual or you're going to have a combination of virtual and augmented and you're going to probably be overtaken by robots.

01:43:45.000 I think that fucking Unabomber guy was right.

01:43:48.000 Yeah.

01:43:49.000 Ted Kaczynski?

01:43:50.000 You know that guy, he did a bunch of acid.

01:43:52.000 They fucking cooked his brain.

01:43:54.000 What did he say?

01:43:55.000 Well he thought that technology was going to take over the human race.

01:43:58.000 That's why he was killing all those people that were involved in technology.

01:44:01.000 I have a theory that with the escalation of our climate, you know, whatever, and I heard this panel back in 2000. It was all about the nature of the soul.

01:44:15.000 And is the soul essentially...

01:44:19.000 And human consciousness is essentially going to jump elements from carbon to silicon in order to survive the wasteland that we're going to leave behind.

01:44:28.000 Yeah, there's something going to happen.

01:44:30.000 A new form of life is going to take place.

01:44:32.000 Is that the singularity?

01:44:32.000 And I think Trump was on Extra Adderall when he's like, I know what to do.

01:44:35.000 I'm going to buy Greenland.

01:44:36.000 I think he was on to something.

01:44:38.000 I think that was like probably the best fucking idea that he ever had.

01:44:40.000 I wish people got more excited about it because he came up with it and like it was dismissed and it was in and out of the news cycle in like four or five days.

01:44:48.000 Greenland was like, fuck you!

01:44:49.000 He's like, alright.

01:44:51.000 I didn't know you could buy Greenland.

01:44:53.000 But if you could, and that was like America Northeast, like where is Greenland on the map?

01:44:59.000 Northwest?

01:45:00.000 Northeast.

01:45:01.000 Way Northeast, right?

01:45:02.000 Yeah.

01:45:02.000 So if he was like, that's America Northeast, just like Alaska and Hawaii.

01:45:05.000 We got a new one.

01:45:06.000 That's a fucking great idea.

01:45:08.000 Because when shit gets really warm and people start moving there and like, guys, this is the shit.

01:45:15.000 It's fucking 78 degrees year round.

01:45:17.000 It's going to be nice and green.

01:45:18.000 It's an island you can defend.

01:45:21.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:45:22.000 Yeah, you can defend it.

01:45:23.000 I mean, how big is Greenland?

01:45:25.000 Huge.

01:45:25.000 How huge?

01:45:26.000 Big.

01:45:26.000 Big enough for all of us?

01:45:28.000 Yeah.

01:45:28.000 Could it be America Northeast?

01:45:29.000 Oh yeah.

01:45:29.000 Really?

01:45:30.000 Really?

01:45:31.000 It's that big?

01:45:31.000 Let's, uh, perspective.

01:45:33.000 Put, um, on the screen, uh, the size of Greenland in, uh, versus the U.S. Yeah.

01:45:42.000 Let's see.

01:45:43.000 Uh, wait.

01:45:43.000 Uh, never mind.

01:45:45.000 What do you think?

01:45:45.000 I feel like it's, uh, I didn't think it was that big.

01:45:48.000 Wait, never mind.

01:45:48.000 No, no, but I didn't think it was that big.

01:45:50.000 Are we going continental U.S. or are we including Alaska?

01:45:52.000 Uh, continental.

01:45:53.000 Because Alaska makes us big, way bigger.

01:45:56.000 Alaska's enormous.

01:45:56.000 But nobody lives there.

01:45:58.000 Like three people live in Alaska.

01:46:00.000 Sorry, Alaska.

01:46:01.000 We love you.

01:46:02.000 I thought it was way bigger.

01:46:04.000 Alaska, they are barely Americans.

01:46:06.000 They're awesome.

01:46:07.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:46:08.000 I mean, they live in paradise.

01:46:09.000 That's like true size is what it says.

01:46:12.000 Holy shit, it's huge.

01:46:13.000 Yeah, I know, but when you drop it there, it fits right in the middle.

01:46:15.000 Yeah, but that's bigger than Texas.

01:46:18.000 Dude, Texas could fit everyone in America.

01:46:21.000 Wow, look at the size of it up there.

01:46:22.000 Yes, Texas is huge.

01:46:24.000 People don't realize how big Australia is.

01:46:26.000 Australia is pretty big.

01:46:27.000 It's as big as the contiguous United States.

01:46:29.000 But there's only as many people, less than as many people as Los Angeles.

01:46:34.000 And look at this one.

01:46:34.000 This map is a weird perspective angle.

01:46:36.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

01:46:37.000 Look at the perspective.

01:46:38.000 Oh, shit.

01:46:40.000 But how does it look?

01:46:40.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:46:42.000 When you see the actual position, it looks way bigger than the United States.

01:46:46.000 Dun, dun, dun.

01:46:47.000 That's because of taking a round thing and flattening it out.

01:46:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:46:50.000 That's so stupid.

01:46:51.000 I don't know why they do that.

01:46:53.000 This is why the flat Earth there is less.

01:46:55.000 Yeah.

01:46:55.000 Yeah, I told you it doesn't work, man.

01:46:57.000 The ice wall.

01:46:59.000 You just gave all the evidence.

01:47:01.000 The really crazy thing is how many things fit in Africa.

01:47:08.000 Everything fits in Africa.

01:47:10.000 Almost every continent, almost every country in the world.

01:47:14.000 Have you been?

01:47:15.000 No.

01:47:15.000 But if you look at how many countries fit inside of Africa, because you see Africa, you go, oh yeah, there's South America, there's Africa.

01:47:24.000 Okay.

01:47:24.000 They're about the same.

01:47:25.000 Yeah, it looks the same.

01:47:26.000 But then when you see, like, superimposed all of the United States, Europe, Asia, China.

01:47:32.000 Really?

01:47:33.000 Fucking everything!

01:47:34.000 Look, that's Africa.

01:47:35.000 Uh-huh.

01:47:36.000 Look at all that shit.

01:47:37.000 Whoa!

01:47:38.000 I know!

01:47:39.000 I didn't realize that.

01:47:40.000 I know!

01:47:41.000 It's nuts!

01:47:42.000 India fits in there.

01:47:43.000 Everything fits in there.

01:47:44.000 Oh my god!

01:47:45.000 Dude.

01:47:46.000 France.

01:47:47.000 Look at that.

01:47:47.000 Spain.

01:47:48.000 Fuck off.

01:47:50.000 I didn't realize that.

01:47:51.000 Switzerland.

01:47:51.000 Switzerland's so tiny.

01:47:52.000 Italy.

01:47:53.000 Why is Switzerland even on there?

01:47:54.000 Because they make good knives.

01:47:56.000 They make army knives.

01:47:57.000 Wow!

01:47:58.000 I didn't realize that.

01:48:00.000 Look at China.

01:48:01.000 China.

01:48:02.000 China.

01:48:03.000 China.

01:48:05.000 It's crazy how big Africa is.

01:48:07.000 I've never been.

01:48:08.000 I want to go.

01:48:09.000 Have you been to India?

01:48:10.000 No.

01:48:10.000 Why are you scared of malaria?

01:48:11.000 Because it kills people.

01:48:12.000 It kills more people than anybody.

01:48:13.000 My dad got malaria when he was there.

01:48:15.000 He's alive though.

01:48:16.000 Is he?

01:48:17.000 Yeah.

01:48:17.000 Are you sure?

01:48:18.000 My friend Justin, who runs Fight for the Forgotten Charity, Building Wells for the Pygmies, he's gotten it three times.

01:48:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:48:26.000 Three times.

01:48:27.000 Malaria?

01:48:28.000 Yeah.

01:48:28.000 Did he have to take the pills?

01:48:29.000 It made him crazy?

01:48:30.000 He took the pills, and it made him crazy for sure, but he got malaria, and then if he gets really sick, he can get malaria again.

01:48:37.000 It'll kick back in.

01:48:38.000 It's like dormant in his system.

01:48:39.000 Yeah, they've come a long way though because the old school pills made you like...

01:48:43.000 Crazy.

01:48:43.000 Yeah, the ones the soldiers had to take, they were all like psychotic.

01:48:46.000 Dave Foley from News Radio, I had to keep him from assaulting a reporter once.

01:48:50.000 He was drunk on malaria.

01:48:52.000 He was drunk and he'd take malaria medication.

01:48:54.000 Oh no!

01:48:54.000 Yeah, and he took the reporter's microphone or he took his tape recorder and shoved it in his drink.

01:49:00.000 And I was like, Dave, what are you doing?

01:49:01.000 Do you still act?

01:49:02.000 No.

01:49:03.000 Never?

01:49:03.000 No, no, no, no.

01:49:04.000 You just don't?

01:49:06.000 Last time I acted was in a Kevin James movie.

01:49:09.000 Oh, okay.

01:49:10.000 Just because he's a buddy of mine.

01:49:11.000 You just don't want to do it?

01:49:12.000 No.

01:49:12.000 Oh.

01:49:13.000 No desire.

01:49:14.000 I guess I have been to Africa because of Egypt.

01:49:16.000 Yeah, Egypt's Africa.

01:49:18.000 I really want to go to Egypt.

01:49:19.000 Yeah, I've been.

01:49:20.000 That's where I got this ring.

01:49:21.000 Oh.

01:49:22.000 It was amazing.

01:49:23.000 Did you get it from a tomb?

01:49:24.000 Is that haunted?

01:49:26.000 No.

01:49:27.000 It was one of my favorite trips.

01:49:29.000 That same science museum had this insane exhibit on Tutankhamen.

01:49:35.000 I went.

01:49:36.000 Twice.

01:49:36.000 Yeah, I'm obsessed.

01:49:37.000 Fucking incredible.

01:49:39.000 I was really obsessed with Egypt from a very young age.

01:49:42.000 Really?

01:49:43.000 Just unnaturally.

01:49:44.000 Do you believe in past lives?

01:49:46.000 How do you feel about this?

01:49:47.000 I don't not believe.

01:49:48.000 That's how I feel.

01:49:49.000 Yeah, this is what I think.

01:49:51.000 You know how people are, you know, like some people have arachnophobia, this unusual fear of spiders?

01:49:57.000 I think that probably comes from someone in your ancestry getting bitten by a spider.

01:50:02.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:50:02.000 Like, people have instincts, right?

01:50:04.000 Like, Marshall, okay?

01:50:06.000 Marshall has been my dog.

01:50:09.000 He's pretty lovable.

01:50:10.000 He's the best.

01:50:11.000 He doesn't seem too fierce.

01:50:12.000 He's not fierce at all.

01:50:13.000 He's a sweetheart.

01:50:14.000 But he has instincts, right?

01:50:17.000 Like he lifts up his leg and pees on things.

01:50:20.000 Right.

01:50:20.000 He smells where other dogs have peed and he pees there too.

01:50:22.000 I didn't teach him how to do that.

01:50:24.000 No.

01:50:24.000 When he was a puppy, but when I got him, when he was six weeks old, he would just pee all over the place.

01:50:29.000 Anytime he had to pee, he would squat down and pee.

01:50:31.000 But then as he got older, he has instincts.

01:50:33.000 Right.

01:50:35.000 Inherent memory in his genes.

01:50:37.000 I want to know how they decide where to poop.

01:50:39.000 If I find out one thing before I die, like if I get to choose one thing, I'm like, how does my dog make this decision?

01:50:46.000 I mean, I know it's instinct, but what?

01:50:48.000 Someone told me they face a certain way.

01:50:50.000 That's not true.

01:50:51.000 I've kept track.

01:50:54.000 I have a whole list of every direction Hope is pooping in.

01:50:59.000 Well, when I run with Marshall, he generally poops in the same area.

01:51:03.000 Like, within, like, a hundred yards.

01:51:05.000 Like, wherever we run, like, there's this area that we come down off of this hill, and he's like, this is a good spot to take a shit.

01:51:10.000 Yeah.

01:51:11.000 And then he drops a log right there.

01:51:12.000 I just want to know, is it, like, territorial?

01:51:14.000 Is there some dog that has some food that she's, like, outfooding?

01:51:18.000 Where she's like, my food's better.

01:51:20.000 There's definitely some sort of territorial thing to it, because they'll roll in shit, too.

01:51:23.000 My dog doesn't.

01:51:25.000 She's not, she won't even step in it.

01:51:27.000 She's, like, very prissy about that stuff.

01:51:29.000 Marshall has rolled an other dog ship.

01:51:31.000 She doesn't want to eat it.

01:51:32.000 She's not one of those dogs at all.

01:51:35.000 She's very particular.

01:51:37.000 She always has to go to the edge of the...

01:51:40.000 It's weird.

01:51:41.000 She always goes to the edge of the curb.

01:51:43.000 Or in between the sidewalk and whatever it's called.

01:51:46.000 She's got her spot.

01:51:47.000 But it's not the same spot every time.

01:51:50.000 And she's very picky.

01:51:51.000 It's like, okay, fucking pick a spot.

01:51:54.000 I want to know.

01:51:55.000 And my whole thing about past lives is, I'm like, well, until you can tell me they definitively aren't true, I'm going to believe they are.

01:52:04.000 I think it's just more interesting.

01:52:06.000 What I was going to get at is that there's a memory that gets passed down through your genes.

01:52:10.000 Sorry, I was an Egyptian.

01:52:12.000 Well, there's probably some weird fucking memory.

01:52:16.000 That all of us have from all the different ancestors that we share DNA with.

01:52:21.000 It only makes sense.

01:52:23.000 Isn't it funny how everyone always thinks they're going to be like the king or the queen and it's like, no.

01:52:27.000 You were sucking dick for homemade wine.

01:52:32.000 I was a fucking starving slave for like 10,000 generations.

01:52:36.000 I know it.

01:52:37.000 I was a nobleman.

01:52:39.000 No, you aren't.

01:52:39.000 I ruled across a great land.

01:52:41.000 That's like, guys, I wrote about, I write a lot about, when I was at Playboy, I wrote about, like, I had this experience, so I was like the second wife.

01:52:50.000 I wasn't a wife, but I was the second in an open marriage.

01:52:53.000 And all the guys think they're going to be that guy.

01:52:56.000 And it's like, I was reading this book, and I forget which book it was or something, and it said...

01:53:02.000 Actually, that men who had multiple wives and women had to start, like, not hugging all the women because it was causing so much strife within the, like, tribes.

01:53:14.000 Jordan Peterson talks about that, too.

01:53:16.000 That's one of the problems with incels, is that there's the men, like the alpha men, like the Jason Momoa's of the world, they have, you know, if they wanted to, they could have a gang of women, and then other guys would be like, hey, what about me?

01:53:28.000 Yeah.

01:53:29.000 But I kind of, honestly, I kind of liked the situation.

01:53:34.000 The guy was so alpha, and it almost took two women to, like, balance him out.

01:53:38.000 And from my perspective, I was like, I want a wife.

01:53:41.000 Me, as a wife, would want a wife, too.

01:53:45.000 I would want someone else to, like, we, it was so, like, we did the gardening and, like, sure.

01:53:49.000 How long did this work out for?

01:53:51.000 It didn't work out for that long.

01:53:53.000 Like a couple of months.

01:53:54.000 No, no.

01:53:55.000 It was a while.

01:53:56.000 Did you see the king of Thailand formally got rid of his concubine?

01:53:59.000 What did he call him?

01:54:01.000 Royal mistress.

01:54:02.000 Royal mistress.

01:54:02.000 Yeah, not a concubine.

01:54:03.000 Concubine would be a whore, right?

01:54:05.000 Boulder.

01:54:05.000 Yes.

01:54:06.000 A little old school.

01:54:06.000 Old school?

01:54:07.000 About the same thing, I think.

01:54:08.000 I'm not sure.

01:54:09.000 Concubine has more flair to it.

01:54:11.000 But he had an official royal mistress that was actually, like she had rank in the military.

01:54:15.000 Oh!

01:54:16.000 Yeah, and she apparently disrespected the queen.

01:54:18.000 So you had to shut her down.

01:54:20.000 And you had to strip her of her power.

01:54:23.000 Oh.

01:54:23.000 I thought you were going somewhere else with that.

01:54:26.000 Strip her down.

01:54:26.000 Yeah, I was like...

01:54:27.000 Piss on her.

01:54:28.000 What's happening?

01:54:29.000 When you go to Thailand, you cannot talk shit ever.

01:54:32.000 There it is.

01:54:32.000 There's the...

01:54:33.000 For King...

01:54:35.000 I don't know how to spell it.

01:54:36.000 Say his name.

01:54:37.000 Oh my god.

01:54:38.000 How did you say that?

01:54:41.000 With great power comes no responsibility at all.

01:54:45.000 Well, so he has this...

01:54:47.000 Was that his wife?

01:54:48.000 Let me see the...

01:54:49.000 What is the article?

01:54:51.000 The King of Thailand...

01:54:52.000 How do I say that?

01:54:55.000 Peremptorily?

01:54:56.000 I've never seen that word ever.

01:54:58.000 Have you ever seen that word?

01:54:59.000 You're a writer.

01:55:00.000 No, I don't.

01:55:02.000 Peremptorily?

01:55:03.000 Peremptorily.

01:55:03.000 Is that...

01:55:03.000 Dismisses his official mistress.

01:55:06.000 I'm not familiar with that.

01:55:07.000 She was talking to Shannon about the wife.

01:55:09.000 She disrespected the wife.

01:55:10.000 Wow.

01:55:11.000 She's like, kick rocks, bitch!

01:55:13.000 What does it mean?

01:55:14.000 I don't know.

01:55:14.000 Look at her name.

01:55:15.000 Oh boy.

01:55:16.000 Now I have to...

01:55:16.000 I look up every word I don't know.

01:55:19.000 Ingratitude, misbehavior, and disloyalty.

01:55:21.000 These were among the failings of try saying her name.

01:55:25.000 S-I-N-E-E-N-A-T-C-N-E-A-T. And here's the big one.

01:55:31.000 W-O-N-G-V-A-G-I-R-A-P-A-K-D-I. I don't even want to try that one.

01:55:40.000 Detailed in a scathing royal statement on October 21st.

01:55:44.000 Apparently, the mistress wanted to elevate herself to the same state as the queen.

01:55:49.000 Of course.

01:55:50.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 Number two always wants to be number one.

01:55:52.000 That was ultimately why it didn't work out.

01:55:53.000 Really?

01:55:54.000 You wanted to be number one?

01:55:55.000 I didn't want to be number one because that has a lot more responsibility and I'm not really that type A. But I didn't feel like...

01:56:01.000 I felt like everyone's needs were being...

01:56:05.000 I was like, hey, are you okay?

01:56:07.000 Are you okay?

01:56:07.000 And no one was like, hey, is Bridget okay?

01:56:09.000 So I felt like my needs were the ones that got...

01:56:15.000 Pushed aside.

01:56:16.000 Yeah.

01:56:17.000 Well, you can call that bitch.

01:56:19.000 I'm sure you...

01:56:21.000 We can start a little meeting.

01:56:24.000 No, it was fine.

01:56:26.000 It was really just one of those things.

01:56:28.000 I'm such a writer and so curious.

01:56:32.000 She was just made that position in July.

01:56:35.000 It was the first time it was done in over a century.

01:56:37.000 So she lost it very quickly.

01:56:39.000 That's really fast.

01:56:41.000 She basically was like, yo, I want to be number one after like a month.

01:56:45.000 Alright, that's a little entitled.

01:56:47.000 She gave it a shot.

01:56:48.000 Calm down.

01:56:48.000 What do you think?

01:56:49.000 Prostate herself before the king and queen, a former flight attendant who he married in May.

01:56:55.000 Oh, the Queen's a former flight attendant.

01:56:57.000 Do you know that my friend's a flight attendant, and she was telling me because they don't have unions, and all my friends from around the world are always like, why are all the old ladies up in first class?

01:57:07.000 Because over in all the Asian airlines, you're pretty much done at age 30. My friend works at United.

01:57:14.000 She's like, you're done at 30. Why?

01:57:18.000 Because it's like they want young, good-looking women.

01:57:22.000 So they fire you?

01:57:23.000 No.

01:57:23.000 I mean, they don't have unions, so they're not...

01:57:26.000 In Asia.

01:57:26.000 Yeah.

01:57:27.000 But they have them in America, right?

01:57:28.000 Yeah, we have them.

01:57:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:57:30.000 That's why all the old ladies are in first class.

01:57:33.000 Oh, so that's why they were saying, why are these old ladies out there?

01:57:34.000 Yeah, like all my friends from around the world are like, I don't understand.

01:57:37.000 That's where the hottest people should be.

01:57:41.000 Well, that used to be what flight attendants were.

01:57:43.000 They were almost like cocktail waitresses at bottle service.

01:57:47.000 It's a hard job.

01:57:48.000 My best friend, I mean, their schedule is insane.

01:57:51.000 I could never do it.

01:57:52.000 And just the way they get treated, their punching bags, and their first responders.

01:57:57.000 Most people don't understand that they're all so well-trained, and they're the ones that if shit goes down, they're the first responders.

01:58:04.000 Right, and then they have to call out and hope a doctor's on the plane.

01:58:07.000 It's crazy.

01:58:08.000 I mean, the stuff she's told me where she's had two old ladies fighting over, she's like, ladies, I'm embarrassed for you.

01:58:16.000 It's also like they're a waitress who tells you what to do.

01:58:19.000 Yeah.

01:58:19.000 They're a waitress who tells you how to sit down and buckle yourself up.

01:58:23.000 Was that your stand-up?

01:58:24.000 That's in your bit, where you're talking.

01:58:26.000 That's hilarious.

01:58:27.000 I was laughing so hard, because I remember getting so high, and actually, I hated airports when I was high.

01:58:33.000 I was always like, okay.

01:58:34.000 Because I get anxious around security.

01:58:36.000 I'm the girl that could never be a drug mule.

01:58:39.000 I look guilty.

01:58:41.000 I look guilty if I didn't do anything.

01:58:44.000 I get randomly searched every time I fly.

01:58:47.000 Every time.

01:58:48.000 You look sketchy.

01:58:49.000 I look sketchy.

01:58:50.000 I think it's the eyebrows.

01:58:51.000 That's what a homeless guy told me.

01:58:53.000 What'd you say?

01:58:54.000 He said my eyebrows made me look like trouble.

01:58:56.000 What?

01:58:57.000 A homeless guy told you that?

01:58:58.000 Yeah.

01:58:59.000 You have normal eyebrows.

01:59:00.000 I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

01:59:02.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:59:02.000 Anyway, maybe that's why I get flagged.

01:59:04.000 That's why he's homeless.

01:59:06.000 His shit judgment.

01:59:07.000 That's why he's homeless.

01:59:08.000 I don't know.

01:59:10.000 Jamie, you're like extra Columbus today, man.

01:59:12.000 Yeah, he's a home.

01:59:13.000 You got a Columbus shirt.

01:59:14.000 You got a C hat.

01:59:14.000 It's a Cleveland hat.

01:59:15.000 Oh, sorry.

01:59:16.000 Yeah.

01:59:17.000 Oh, you're extra Ohio today.

01:59:18.000 Yes.

01:59:18.000 You're doubling down.

01:59:19.000 Yes.

01:59:20.000 Oh, we're at Cleveland this weekend.

01:59:21.000 Holla!

01:59:22.000 Saturday night.

01:59:22.000 See you there, bitches.

01:59:24.000 That'll be fun.

01:59:25.000 Yeah.

01:59:25.000 That's where everybody's going.

01:59:27.000 I love Cleveland.

01:59:27.000 Why?

01:59:28.000 Because now all the people can't afford to live in California.

01:59:31.000 So a couple of my friends have moved to Ohio, actually.

01:59:33.000 They're all going back.

01:59:35.000 And also where Texas is a big one.

01:59:39.000 Idaho, I heard, is a secret.

01:59:41.000 Texas is filling up, though.

01:59:42.000 Don't go to Austin.

01:59:43.000 Idaho is the next secret one.

01:59:45.000 They're gonna be mad I told the secret.

01:59:47.000 Yeah, I've told already.

01:59:48.000 Yeah.

01:59:49.000 Boise's pretty fucking dope.

01:59:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:59:50.000 So people are leaving because the cost of living here is insane.

01:59:54.000 The cost of living is insane and a fault line that hasn't moved in 500 years just shifted yesterday.

02:00:01.000 I know, but the lady that I follow on Twitter who's like a seismologist debunked that it's not as big of a worry.

02:00:07.000 That bitch is going to be the first one to die.

02:00:09.000 Or it's going to open up under her feet and swallow her up like a big mouth.

02:00:13.000 We were doing a joke about that on the dumpster fire video.

02:00:17.000 I was like, you know the protesters who like super glue their hand?

02:00:21.000 I'm like, what if you did...

02:00:22.000 They super glue their hand to the fucking pavement.

02:00:25.000 For what?

02:00:26.000 For all those crazy climate protests.

02:00:28.000 What are you talking about?

02:00:29.000 I'm not...

02:00:29.000 No knowledge of this.

02:00:31.000 You're saying it like I know.

02:00:32.000 I mean, I thought everyone saw these insane Extinction Rebellion videos.

02:00:37.000 What are they doing?

02:00:38.000 Can you Google this?

02:00:39.000 Google protester.

02:00:42.000 Oh my god.

02:00:43.000 They super glue their hands.

02:00:45.000 What is this crazy person doing?

02:00:46.000 But they all do it.

02:00:47.000 And I was like...

02:00:47.000 What her name?

02:00:49.000 Farhana...

02:00:50.000 Oh goddammit, these pop-ups.

02:00:52.000 No, there's so many more.

02:00:54.000 There was one girl, so somebody tweeted about how his favorite image was a girl doing it and then not realizing that she had taken her backpack off yet.

02:01:01.000 So you see her like superglue her hand and then she goes...

02:01:06.000 And I'm like, why are you doing this?

02:01:08.000 I don't understand what this is.

02:01:10.000 She super glued herself to the shell headquarters, the concrete outside of shell headquarters.

02:01:15.000 But can you imagine if you do that and then there's an earthquake and then you're just hanging by your super glued hand over the crack?

02:01:21.000 But can you imagine when you want to get your hand back?

02:01:23.000 No!

02:01:24.000 Super glued, do not pull me.

02:01:26.000 Oh my god, fuck you.

02:01:28.000 Glued on.

02:01:29.000 Do not try to move.

02:01:30.000 They have little signs.

02:01:31.000 How do they get their fucking glue off?

02:01:33.000 Look at her.

02:01:33.000 I don't know.

02:01:34.000 That's what I was wondering.

02:01:36.000 Why are they doing this?

02:01:37.000 Fucking morons.

02:01:38.000 Because they're morons.

02:01:39.000 It just pisses everyone off.

02:01:40.000 But you had that guy who had the dead bee on the cover of his book, right?

02:01:45.000 Dead bee on the cover of his book.

02:01:47.000 He wrote that book and it's all about the climate and I forgot.

02:01:51.000 I just remember the cover because I was like, really?

02:01:53.000 A dead bee?

02:01:54.000 Yeah.

02:01:55.000 Who was that again?

02:01:56.000 That's dramatic.

02:01:59.000 But he scared the fuck out of me.

02:02:00.000 Yeah.

02:02:01.000 Yeah.

02:02:02.000 Have you seen this bee?

02:02:03.000 Look at that fucker.

02:02:04.000 No.

02:02:05.000 What is it?

02:02:06.000 What kind of weird shit do you get?

02:02:07.000 Well, that was actually Maynard from Tool sent me that.

02:02:10.000 It's from his fucking vineyard.

02:02:12.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:02:13.000 That's one of them hornet wasps.

02:02:15.000 Tarantulas.

02:02:16.000 Tarantula hawk.

02:02:16.000 Yeah.

02:02:17.000 They kill tarantulas and lay their eggs inside of them.

02:02:20.000 Yeah.

02:02:21.000 One time...

02:02:22.000 It's the size of that fucker.

02:02:22.000 It's a goddamn bird.

02:02:25.000 Yeah.

02:02:25.000 No, I would be...

02:02:27.000 He was telling me how gross they are and how huge they are.

02:02:30.000 Then he fucking sent me one.

02:02:31.000 I was like, alright.

02:02:32.000 Yeah, no.

02:02:33.000 He's like, what's your address?

02:02:34.000 I'm like, what?

02:02:36.000 This fucking comes in the mail.

02:02:37.000 Yeah, you must get some weird stuff.

02:02:39.000 Yeah, I get some weird stuff for sure.

02:02:40.000 Yeah, I see all the pictures of the tattoos people get of you.

02:02:44.000 Yeah, that's the weirdest thing.

02:02:46.000 There's probably hundreds of tattoos of my face on people's bodies.

02:02:50.000 What does that make you feel?

02:02:52.000 Tell me how that makes you feel.

02:02:55.000 Can we do this through FaceTime?

02:02:59.000 Being me...

02:03:02.000 It feels real.

02:03:04.000 Like you would think, oh, you're used to it?

02:03:05.000 Uh-uh.

02:03:06.000 I'm not used to it at all.

02:03:08.000 Being me is fucking strange.

02:03:10.000 Like people that love me, people that hate me, all of it's weird.

02:03:14.000 Yeah.

02:03:15.000 Like all of it's weird.

02:03:16.000 It's strange.

02:03:16.000 All the attention.

02:03:17.000 Every time people call my name, like I'm about to go on stage and people cheer, I'm like, really?

02:03:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:03:22.000 It all feels strange.

02:03:23.000 Yeah.

02:03:23.000 It never feels real.

02:03:24.000 And when did you start this?

02:03:27.000 Podcast?

02:03:27.000 Yeah.

02:03:27.000 10 years ago in December.

02:03:29.000 Oh, wow!

02:03:29.000 This December 24th, it'll be 10 years.

02:03:31.000 Oh, that's amazing.

02:03:32.000 Yeah.

02:03:33.000 And what have you learned the most from it over the year?

02:03:36.000 Did you have any...

02:03:37.000 Why did you start it?

02:03:38.000 Just for a goof.

02:03:39.000 Me and Brian Redband did it for fun.

02:03:41.000 Because we used to do this thing we would do in the green rooms where we would...

02:03:45.000 It was on a thing called Justin.tv.

02:03:48.000 Justin.tv.

02:03:49.000 And we would flip up this laptop and we'd talk to people in the green room of comedy clubs.

02:03:54.000 Yeah.

02:03:55.000 Just for fun.

02:03:56.000 Okay.

02:03:56.000 And then one day I was like, yeah, let's do it at my house.

02:03:58.000 So he came over to my house and we did it and we were like, people would ask questions.

02:04:01.000 There were like fucking literally like 10 people online or 100 people.

02:04:04.000 Yeah, that was like pre, I mean, definitely podcast.

02:04:08.000 We were doing that.

02:04:08.000 There was some podcast back then.

02:04:10.000 There was like Adam from MTV. What is his name again?

02:04:15.000 Jamie?

02:04:16.000 The guy?

02:04:16.000 Adam Curry.

02:04:17.000 Adam Curry was probably the first.

02:04:19.000 And I think he actually invented the name podcast.

02:04:23.000 Mm.

02:04:24.000 And then Corolla in 2000, what year is this?

02:04:27.000 Oh my gosh.

02:04:28.000 This is 12 years ago in the green room at Irvine.

02:04:30.000 Ah!

02:04:30.000 Irvine Improv.

02:04:32.000 Yeah.

02:04:32.000 Oh my god.

02:04:34.000 12 years ago.

02:04:34.000 That is crazy.

02:04:35.000 So this is what we used to do.

02:04:36.000 We would be in the green room.

02:04:38.000 Look at little Red Band!

02:04:39.000 In between shows.

02:04:41.000 Well, that was when Red Band had lost a ton of weight.

02:04:43.000 Red Band broke up with his girlfriend and decided to get sexy.

02:04:48.000 For you.

02:04:50.000 I don't know.

02:04:50.000 It's hard to tell.

02:04:51.000 Just kill this.

02:04:52.000 I don't want to see it myself.

02:04:53.000 Look at that beautiful beard, though.

02:04:55.000 So anyway, we decided to do these videos, just talking to people online.

02:05:03.000 And then the next thing you know, we're like, yeah, let's do it next week.

02:05:05.000 So we did it next week.

02:05:06.000 Let's do it again.

02:05:08.000 And then Brian was like, people are asking us to put this on iTunes.

02:05:11.000 Like, okay, let's put it on iTunes.

02:05:13.000 So we started putting them on iTunes.

02:05:14.000 All right, let's do it every week.

02:05:16.000 Let's do it every week.

02:05:16.000 And then...

02:05:18.000 It just, by complete, just sort of natural occurrences, by natural circumstances, it just snowballed.

02:05:29.000 And then other guys started doing it.

02:05:31.000 And then, you know, so many comics.

02:05:33.000 How did it get to, like, this point?

02:05:35.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

02:05:36.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:05:36.000 I don't know.

02:05:38.000 I think this thing has a life of its own.

02:05:40.000 I think this thing, like this tarantula hawk, sticks a fucking needle in that tarantula's body and impregnates it with eggs.

02:05:47.000 Technology impregnated me.

02:05:50.000 It gave me this idea to do this.

02:05:53.000 It forced me, and it found what I'm good at.

02:05:56.000 And what I'm good at is talking to people, and I'm curious.

02:05:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:06:00.000 So, like, if you can get me a place where I can sit down for three hours and ask a guy like Sean Carroll, Explain to me astrophysics.

02:06:07.000 Explain to me quantum mechanics.

02:06:09.000 Explain to me this.

02:06:10.000 How do vaccines work?

02:06:12.000 How does this work?

02:06:12.000 How does that work?

02:06:13.000 What is a propulsion?

02:06:15.000 What makes the sun stay hot?

02:06:18.000 Why does that work?

02:06:20.000 How does the inner working of a cell phone...

02:06:23.000 What is 5G? Is that bad for you?

02:06:25.000 Is that giving you cancer?

02:06:28.000 I've always been a person who asks a lot of questions and likes talking to people.

02:06:32.000 Yeah.

02:06:33.000 And you don't seem to be too...

02:06:35.000 I feel very similar to you in this respect, is that I'm not trying to, like, get any...

02:06:41.000 You know, just to have someone on and talk to them to be like, I gotcha!

02:06:45.000 No.

02:06:45.000 That's the last thing I want to do.

02:06:46.000 I just want to hear people's perspective and their point of view and learn things.

02:06:51.000 I mean, I laugh when I think of...

02:06:53.000 When you're naming all these people, and I'm like, and then you have this moron!

02:06:56.000 No, you're fun!

02:06:57.000 Come on, stop!

02:06:58.000 Who tweeted her way into the center of the culture war.

02:07:01.000 I feel like I have gym teacher mouth right now.

02:07:03.000 What does that mean?

02:07:04.000 Like when you talk, you know, a while?

02:07:07.000 I don't know.

02:07:08.000 I always call it gym teacher mouth.

02:07:09.000 No, you're fine.

02:07:10.000 No worries at all.

02:07:11.000 I'm going to get self-conscious.

02:07:12.000 Don't.

02:07:14.000 You know, gym teachers always had that.

02:07:17.000 I never noticed until now.

02:07:19.000 Do you know what she's saying?

02:07:21.000 I know exactly what she's saying.

02:07:23.000 We used to laugh as a team, like it would just fly around and hit people and shit.

02:07:27.000 I feel like this is relatable.

02:07:29.000 Joey Diaz gets that all the time, like a little white piece on his lips, and you're like, do I tell him?

02:07:33.000 Let him talk.

02:07:34.000 No, tell him.

02:07:35.000 Oh, not Joey.

02:07:36.000 No, no, no.

02:07:36.000 Let him talk.

02:07:37.000 I don't want him to be self-conscious.

02:07:38.000 Yeah.

02:07:39.000 I'd rather just stare at the white thing on his lips.

02:07:40.000 No, I think it's cool, though, that you've had, in this time when everybody has these political abstractions or just two-dimensional abstractions, you seem to have actually hit that zeitgeist of desire.

02:07:54.000 Because they're like, oh, everyone has a short attention span.

02:07:57.000 I'm like, well, people are listening to Joe for like fucking 25 hours a day.

02:08:01.000 I don't think people have short attention spans.

02:08:04.000 I think that people can have short attention spans.

02:08:08.000 Like, you can be distracted by a music video that constantly switches scenes over and over and over again.

02:08:14.000 But some people like to sit down and watch a conversation.

02:08:19.000 Like me.

02:08:22.000 Don't get bored having long conversations.

02:08:25.000 Yeah.

02:08:25.000 And enjoy them.

02:08:25.000 And I think if you're not bored while you're having a long conversation, interesting conversation, the people that are listening won't get bored either.

02:08:31.000 Yeah.

02:08:31.000 But if you're bored, they'll get bored.

02:08:33.000 Yeah.

02:08:33.000 So you have to be genuinely interested.

02:08:34.000 That's why the beautiful thing about having a podcast where there's no one that's telling me, hey, you have to have this person on or this guy's got a movie coming out.

02:08:42.000 I want you to have this person on.

02:08:43.000 We're going to have this person on because she has an album out.

02:08:45.000 There's none of that.

02:08:46.000 Right.

02:08:46.000 Yeah.

02:08:47.000 If I have someone on, like, hey, Gary Clark Jr.'s got a new album.

02:08:50.000 I love that guy.

02:08:51.000 Let's bring him in.

02:08:52.000 It's always someone who I genuinely think is cool.

02:08:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:08:57.000 So I have real interest in talking to them.

02:09:00.000 And you get to just, I mean, it's just so funny how many, I was laughing because I'm like, I think a lot of my exes listen to you.

02:09:09.000 Yeah.

02:09:10.000 So this very moment right now is like the sweetest revenge of all.

02:09:15.000 That's hilarious.

02:09:17.000 I think you had a joke about that where you're like, I'm sorry to the ladies who had to come because their boyfriends made them.

02:09:24.000 I went to your set and it was literally like a central casting of Joe Rogan fans.

02:09:34.000 I was the only one in the audience who didn't have a tattoo.

02:09:38.000 I'm 100% sure of that.

02:09:41.000 Maybe not 100. Not 100. I wouldn't bet all your chips.

02:09:44.000 I wouldn't push all your chips out of that table.

02:09:47.000 Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either.

02:09:49.000 I'm the only person who didn't have a Joe Rogan tattoo.

02:09:53.000 Could you imagine that?

02:09:54.000 And they just hold up your face at you.

02:09:56.000 Oh my god, it's on their wrists.

02:09:58.000 They're going to slice it after I quit.

02:10:00.000 No.

02:10:01.000 Are you going to move?

02:10:02.000 Are you staying in Cali?

02:10:03.000 I don't know.

02:10:04.000 I am preparing for this thing to fall apart, though.

02:10:07.000 Fucking Palisades was on fire yesterday.

02:10:09.000 Yeah, I know.

02:10:09.000 When the Palisades is on fire, that shit's rough.

02:10:13.000 One of the things we were thinking about, like, hey, fucking all these fires over here in the valley, maybe we should move to the Palisades.

02:10:20.000 No.

02:10:21.000 And then the Palisades catch on fire.

02:10:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:10:23.000 I heard it was our son.

02:10:25.000 Did you hear that?

02:10:25.000 I think I read that.

02:10:27.000 I mean, I could be completely wrong.

02:10:29.000 Let's not do any research at all.

02:10:31.000 Don't even Google it.

02:10:31.000 Let's spread that rumor.

02:10:33.000 I heard it was incels.

02:10:34.000 Incels that were mad at Dan Bilzerian's house.

02:10:36.000 It was a Joker premiere in someone's private home.

02:10:41.000 That's what it was.

02:10:42.000 That's what it was.

02:10:44.000 I'm not sure.

02:10:45.000 I go back and forth.

02:10:46.000 Where would you go?

02:10:47.000 That's the thing.

02:10:48.000 I love it here.

02:10:49.000 I mean...

02:10:50.000 You know what?

02:10:50.000 I like Colorado.

02:10:51.000 Yeah, I like Colorado a lot.

02:10:52.000 It's a healthiest state.

02:10:53.000 Is it really?

02:10:54.000 I think it's the most fit state.

02:10:56.000 Again, I can't be completely making this up.

02:10:58.000 Fuck it.

02:10:59.000 Let's run with it.

02:11:00.000 Makes sense.

02:11:01.000 I mean, you go like a place like Boulder.

02:11:03.000 Yeah.

02:11:03.000 Boulder, everybody's out there jogging, hiking and shit.

02:11:06.000 I was just in Aspen.

02:11:07.000 Fuck, it's gorgeous there.

02:11:08.000 Oh my god.

02:11:09.000 Rich people know what's up.

02:11:11.000 Yeah, they're not stupid.

02:11:12.000 They're rich.

02:11:12.000 No, they know what's up.

02:11:14.000 That's the place to go.

02:11:15.000 Have you seen the prices for houses in Aspen?

02:11:16.000 Yeah.

02:11:17.000 It's like they are trying to keep the riffraff out.

02:11:19.000 Oh yeah, I mean, and you have to, when you do that dodgy fly-in, I love it.

02:11:24.000 I love it.

02:11:25.000 It is dodgy.

02:11:26.000 I know a dude whose friends died in a plane.

02:11:29.000 Flying into Aspen.

02:11:30.000 Private Jack slammed into the mountain.

02:11:32.000 Yeah, you're flying right into the...

02:11:34.000 Snow out.

02:11:35.000 There was a white out.

02:11:36.000 Terrifying.

02:11:37.000 And they fucked up.

02:11:39.000 Hit the mountain.

02:11:39.000 Couldn't pull up in time.

02:11:40.000 I was like, I never been to Cabo until recently.

02:11:43.000 And I was like, rich people know what's up.

02:11:45.000 Yeah, they know what's up.

02:11:46.000 Cabo's a wreck, though.

02:11:47.000 Is it?

02:11:49.000 Everyone's so drunk.

02:11:50.000 Oh.

02:11:51.000 It's so ridiculous.

02:11:51.000 I was in the rich people part.

02:11:53.000 Ah, there you go.

02:11:54.000 I was off where Jennifer Aniston rents our house.

02:11:58.000 Yeah.

02:11:58.000 I have a buddy who owns a fat condo out there in Cabo.

02:12:02.000 They go there all the time.

02:12:03.000 It's special and magical.

02:12:04.000 There were lots of whales.

02:12:05.000 It is beautiful.

02:12:07.000 It's gorgeous.

02:12:07.000 Mexico's fucking amazing.

02:12:09.000 And the food.

02:12:10.000 Did you see what's going on right now in Sinaloa?

02:12:13.000 The Sinaloa cartels?

02:12:14.000 What part of it?

02:12:15.000 Culiacon?

02:12:16.000 I forget what part of Mexico.

02:12:19.000 How do you keep track of all this shit?

02:12:21.000 I don't know.

02:12:22.000 I don't know.

02:12:23.000 Like, in between all of these interviews and all the stuff you do and working out and hunting elk for dinner...

02:12:30.000 Well, this is all over the news, though.

02:12:32.000 And my friend Ed Calderon, who's been on the podcast before, he actually...

02:12:35.000 He runs, like, the Mexican anti-cartel...

02:12:41.000 He's, like, one of those anti-cartel military guys.

02:12:43.000 Oh, okay.

02:12:44.000 Okay.

02:12:44.000 Yeah.

02:12:45.000 And he explained a lot of, like, what's going on down there.

02:12:48.000 What's going on?

02:12:49.000 Well, they arrested El Chapo's son...

02:12:52.000 Oh, I did see that in the news.

02:12:54.000 There was a gunfight.

02:12:55.000 Many parts of Mexico, the government has surrendered in a fight against cartels.

02:12:59.000 It's nuts!

02:12:59.000 It's lawless, yeah.

02:13:00.000 Although, the cartels have unlimited amounts of money because they're selling drugs to white people.

02:13:05.000 Yeah, white people need to stop doing drugs.

02:13:07.000 White people here in America are buying all the cartels cocaine and meth.

02:13:11.000 Yeah, if you care about Mexico, stop doing drugs.

02:13:14.000 Stop it.

02:13:15.000 That's like all the hippies.

02:13:16.000 I always laugh hysterically when they're super gluing themselves and getting all high.

02:13:21.000 I'm like, do you have any idea?

02:13:24.000 I've worked on these farms.

02:13:25.000 I see what they do to the environment.

02:13:28.000 You're not exactly helping the environment with your weed habit.

02:13:31.000 No offense to all the weed smokers.

02:13:33.000 I love you.

02:13:34.000 Well, any large-scale agriculture is devastating to the environment.

02:13:38.000 It's so sad what's happening with big weed up there.

02:13:42.000 I can't believe you called it big weed.

02:13:45.000 It is big weed.

02:13:47.000 It is!

02:13:48.000 You don't think it is?

02:13:49.000 I'm sure it is, but that expression, big weed, is so hilarious.

02:13:53.000 Weed is an industry now.

02:13:54.000 It is!

02:13:56.000 Because I worked up in the farms for the transition, so I worked from when it was mom and pop just places, and now they're paving over some of the most fertile soil in freaking Oregon or California so they can put these huge domes, they give off all those lights,

02:14:13.000 so they can build...

02:14:13.000 It's fucked up!

02:14:15.000 It's fucked.

02:14:15.000 It's big weed.

02:14:16.000 Anytime you have large-scale agriculture, animals and the environment get fucked over.

02:14:22.000 Yeah.

02:14:22.000 This is something that, like, vegans hate hearing this.

02:14:25.000 But if you're buying grain, you're buying grain most likely from large-scale agriculture and that shit is fucking terrible for animals.

02:14:33.000 Terrible for the environment.

02:14:35.000 Yeah.

02:14:35.000 Terrible for, like, you're not supposed to have thousands of acres of all one thing.

02:14:41.000 Yeah.

02:14:41.000 You're not supposed to have that.

02:14:42.000 That's not normal.

02:14:43.000 You can't have thousands of acres of corn.

02:14:45.000 I always used to laugh because they would rewash the little plastic Ziploc baggies at the farm.

02:14:52.000 They'd be like, we're going to recycle these.

02:14:54.000 And there would be huge entire piles of deer netting that you use to keep the colas up.

02:15:00.000 Just piles of plastic.

02:15:02.000 I'm like, okay, guys.

02:15:05.000 I'm not sure.

02:15:05.000 Do they use pesticides?

02:15:07.000 Not at the place where I was.

02:15:09.000 That's good.

02:15:09.000 But it was a lot of like the teas they make, you know, to like boost these things.

02:15:14.000 Holy shit.

02:15:15.000 I mean, it's crazy.

02:15:17.000 What's the teas?

02:15:18.000 What do you mean?

02:15:18.000 It's like they use all these different things like fertilizers and different, and they make these huge batches of teas that they use to fertilize.

02:15:28.000 Tea?

02:15:28.000 Like tea, like Lipton tea?

02:15:30.000 It's not tea.

02:15:31.000 It's like, they just call it tea.

02:15:34.000 And it's like a booster for the...

02:15:37.000 Just nutrients, essentially.

02:15:39.000 Yeah, basically, yeah.

02:15:40.000 And it boosts the THC? Yeah, and it boosts just the, you know...

02:15:46.000 This is all, like, outdoor.

02:15:48.000 It's so interesting that like in the 1990s when I first came here, you had to have a license.

02:15:54.000 I think it was like 94, 95, it became legal.

02:16:00.000 And I didn't start smoking until 98. What became legal?

02:16:04.000 Legal, medically.

02:16:06.000 Oh, okay.

02:16:06.000 Is that long ago?

02:16:07.000 Yeah, I think it was, I want to say it was 95. What year was marijuana medically legal?

02:16:15.000 I think it's 90. James is a motherfucker with that Google.

02:16:18.000 He Googles better than any man that's ever lived.

02:16:20.000 I think it's 94. I think 94 they passed the medical marijuana laws.

02:16:25.000 Oh.

02:16:25.000 96. 96. So I started smoking in 98. I came here in 94. I started smoking in 98. And back then, it was still sketchy.

02:16:35.000 You smoked for the first time in 98?

02:16:37.000 No, I smoked a handful of times when I was young.

02:16:40.000 Okay.

02:16:41.000 Between the time, I was like...

02:16:44.000 14 and 30, I might have smoked pot.

02:16:49.000 I don't think it was 10 times.

02:16:50.000 So you didn't really start smoking until you were 30?

02:16:52.000 Yeah.

02:16:52.000 Oh, wow.

02:16:53.000 I didn't even think it was 10 times.

02:16:54.000 How do you feel in your sober October?

02:16:57.000 What are the biggest differences that you notice, or do you notice any?

02:17:01.000 I feel great.

02:17:02.000 Yeah.

02:17:03.000 Do you feel...

02:17:04.000 The booze is what gets you.

02:17:06.000 Booze slows you down.

02:17:08.000 Definitely.

02:17:08.000 For sure.

02:17:09.000 I feel way better without a couple of drinks.

02:17:12.000 But I like a couple of drinks.

02:17:14.000 I enjoy it.

02:17:15.000 So it's like the balancing act of...

02:17:16.000 I wish I could have a couple of drinks.

02:17:18.000 I don't see the point.

02:17:20.000 I don't...

02:17:21.000 You want a bucket.

02:17:22.000 Well, I just don't see the point.

02:17:24.000 It's like decaf coffee.

02:17:25.000 You don't see the point of a couple of drinks?

02:17:28.000 No, because I want to get...

02:17:29.000 You're ready to go party.

02:17:31.000 Yeah!

02:17:32.000 And I was saying this before we came out.

02:17:34.000 I'm like, I wish I could just smoke weed because I did that.

02:17:37.000 So for most of my 20s, I did everything to avoid having to get sober again.

02:17:41.000 And a lot of my 30s.

02:17:43.000 And I definitely was trying to manage it.

02:17:47.000 And there were years where I just smoked weed and didn't drink.

02:17:50.000 But what happens to me is that it'll be a gorgeous day like this.

02:17:53.000 And I'll be down in Venice.

02:17:54.000 And I'll smoke some weed.

02:17:55.000 And then maybe I'll get a little racy.

02:17:58.000 Yeah.

02:17:58.000 Because the weed is racy.

02:18:00.000 And then I want to balance it out with that gorgeous-looking half from On the Waterfront.

02:18:04.000 And next thing you know, I'm doing lines in the townhouse.

02:18:07.000 Like, that's where it goes every time for me.

02:18:11.000 Do you think that there's, like, a well-oiled groove that's in your brain that once you get some substances in there, like, woo!

02:18:20.000 You know what to do here.

02:18:21.000 I wonder what it is because it's interesting because so many...

02:18:26.000 This is why I love 12 Step, because no one fucking wants to be there.

02:18:30.000 And they're some of the funniest places ever.

02:18:32.000 And then I'll hear people come talk about 12 Step and how it doesn't work and blah, blah, blah.

02:18:37.000 And I'm like, it works for a lot of people.

02:18:39.000 And every time I go, I get to listen to essentially some fucked up story that turned into a miracle.

02:18:45.000 Like, some guy who was like, and then I had hookers, and then I was jailed, and then now, like, and you've been sober, and you're, like, an upstanding.

02:18:53.000 Like, these rooms are filled with people who would be menaces to society, myself included.

02:18:58.000 I came out of a blackout driving on the 405. Yeah, it was one of the hands-down most terrifying moments of my life.

02:19:06.000 Yeah.

02:19:07.000 And I had been at Universal Studios, so I had driven all the way from Universal to the 405, getting on the 10. You didn't even know how you got there.

02:19:15.000 I had no recollection.

02:19:17.000 Apparently, I had been out with a bunch of people, and I got scared when I was at the bar because there were these guys following me around.

02:19:23.000 I was out with a bunch of poker high rollers, and I made alcoholism look amazing.

02:19:30.000 I did.

02:19:31.000 You know what's crazy?

02:19:31.000 But they were security guards.

02:19:33.000 I didn't know this.

02:19:34.000 People love it when you can get off drugs.

02:19:37.000 That's one addiction that people take very seriously and they're happy for you when you get off of drugs or alcohol.

02:19:43.000 But if you get off of gambling...

02:19:45.000 Nobody gives a fuck.

02:19:46.000 No, no, no.

02:19:47.000 Nobody gives a fuck.

02:19:47.000 Well, some people do.

02:19:48.000 I mean, it's funny because I've helped four people quit smoking weed in the past year, and it is gnarly.

02:19:55.000 And part of the problem, I know you give me this.

02:19:58.000 Skeptical hippo face.

02:19:59.000 I know, I know, I know.

02:20:00.000 You don't want to hear it.

02:20:01.000 But these are people who were really addicted to it, and they couldn't stop.

02:20:05.000 Physically?

02:20:06.000 Or mentally?

02:20:07.000 Well, I think the physical part you get over.

02:20:09.000 It's just that...

02:20:10.000 They wanted to be...

02:20:11.000 It's insidious because you get laughed at.

02:20:13.000 They wanted that fuzzy distance?

02:20:14.000 Yeah!

02:20:15.000 The fuzzy distance.

02:20:16.000 And it's easy!

02:20:17.000 And it's like, for me, what I noticed was that it was like this weed glass kind of ceiling made of smoke.

02:20:25.000 And once I quit smoking weed...

02:20:28.000 I was suicidally depressed for two years.

02:20:31.000 Like two years?

02:20:32.000 I smoked for 20 years in my developmental teenage years.

02:20:37.000 I don't think I had any- It took you two years to get- I mean, it's an oil.

02:20:41.000 Straighten it out?

02:20:41.000 I think it gets in your fat.

02:20:42.000 I hear that before I do.

02:20:44.000 I don't think there's any real logic to that.

02:20:45.000 No, I don't think there's any science.

02:20:46.000 No.

02:20:47.000 I just know from my experience that it took me a while to get back online.

02:20:51.000 Got it.

02:20:52.000 And I felt like I was having a hard time kind of boosting up to like where I'm naturally like a happy girl.

02:20:59.000 I wake up and I'm like, tra-la-la, but for the two first years I got sober, it was gnarly.

02:21:04.000 It was ugly.

02:21:05.000 I think there's different people.

02:21:07.000 I mean, I'm just joking around about them not being addicted.

02:21:09.000 I think there's people that get addicted to a lot of things.

02:21:11.000 Well, it's been...

02:21:12.000 The problem is that people don't take it seriously.

02:21:16.000 So they'll be like, oh yeah, that's not a real addiction.

02:21:18.000 Well, because it doesn't kill anybody.

02:21:19.000 So when someone says that I'm addicted to pot, you're like, ah, get over it.

02:21:22.000 But it's like you won't do...

02:21:24.000 But so you don't do anything.

02:21:27.000 You know, I'm like, yeah, you won't do anything.

02:21:29.000 You won't kill anybody.

02:21:29.000 You just won't do anything.

02:21:31.000 And...

02:21:32.000 I think from my experience, the clarity that I got is kind of priceless.

02:21:39.000 I mean, I used to write this stuff and think that I was just so funny or so insightful, and it was like, what the fuck was that?

02:21:46.000 That's the most embarrassing thing when you write something high and you think it's good.

02:21:49.000 I'm going to come back and read my journals that I wrote when I was high and thought I was so insightful.

02:21:55.000 And you can tell I'm just high and drunk, thinking that I'm being so insightful.

02:22:00.000 But occasionally you'll get gems.

02:22:02.000 Occasionally marijuana will let a little fucking air through and you're like, oh, what is this I found?

02:22:07.000 I miss it.

02:22:08.000 I was saying that the addict in me, it's the thing I love the most.

02:22:12.000 I've always loved it the most.

02:22:13.000 And the addict in me, I'm like, I'm worried I'm going to give myself cancer so that I need to see it out.

02:22:22.000 Like, subconsciously.

02:22:23.000 And then when I got sober, I did get cancer.

02:22:25.000 I got basal cell.

02:22:27.000 Did you really?

02:22:28.000 Yeah, but basal cell, like, is...

02:22:30.000 I was like, I guess I need to smoke weed.

02:22:31.000 Now my friend's like, it's basal cell, Bridget.

02:22:33.000 Like, it's not real cancer.

02:22:35.000 What is basal cell?

02:22:36.000 It's, um, I don't know.

02:22:37.000 It's like the...

02:22:38.000 It's a type of skin cancer?

02:22:39.000 It's skin cancer, but it's like the least...

02:22:41.000 I have a scar here.

02:22:42.000 It's like the least...

02:22:43.000 Dangerous.

02:22:44.000 Yeah, it's kind of a joke.

02:22:46.000 I mean, maybe...

02:22:47.000 Joke?

02:22:47.000 Didn't it kill Bob Marley?

02:22:49.000 I don't know.

02:22:50.000 Maybe I'll Google this and find out it kills millions of people, but my doctor made practically a joke of it.

02:22:57.000 It's kind of like the Beto O'Rourke of skin cancer.

02:23:00.000 Oh, that guy.

02:23:01.000 It wants a lot of attention, but it's completely ineffective.

02:23:07.000 That guy's adorable.

02:23:08.000 No, he's...

02:23:10.000 His name is so close to Beta, too.

02:23:12.000 I know, Beta.

02:23:13.000 And he is.

02:23:14.000 Yeah, I know.

02:23:15.000 I know.

02:23:15.000 Do you think that he's just using his father-in-law's money?

02:23:22.000 Well, he definitely is doing that, right?

02:23:25.000 Isn't he?

02:23:26.000 I don't know.

02:23:27.000 I have no evidence.

02:23:28.000 I think he's a crazy guy who thinks he can be president.

02:23:30.000 I'm starting rumors on JoeRogan.com.

02:23:31.000 Let's keep starting rumors.

02:23:33.000 I think he started the fire in the Palisades.

02:23:39.000 He probably gave me cancer, too.

02:23:41.000 He gave me skin cancer.

02:23:42.000 Yeah, he's the one who made you drink.

02:23:43.000 Yeah.

02:23:43.000 He provided the lines of the condo.

02:23:45.000 I do, I do.

02:23:47.000 Sometimes, like, I watch your podcast and it's like, fuck, I wish I could just go drink whiskey with the boys like I used to and, like, go travel the world.

02:23:56.000 I was in Sri Lanka partying and it was in...

02:23:58.000 Did you ever have a good night partying, though, where it all worked out?

02:24:01.000 All the time, yeah.

02:24:01.000 Okay, and you had a good night where it didn't go off the rails?

02:24:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:24:04.000 Maybe you're not an alcoholic.

02:24:05.000 No.

02:24:06.000 No.

02:24:08.000 I do a whole stand-up routine about how when I quit drinking, my family gave me like a reverse intervention.

02:24:14.000 Because my family's all so, they're so, there's a little cute aunt.

02:24:20.000 It's like an Irish Catholic huge family.

02:24:23.000 It's just part of the culture.

02:24:24.000 And they were like, we're worried about you.

02:24:27.000 You're not drinking enough.

02:24:29.000 That's hilarious.

02:24:29.000 What are you, pregnant?

02:24:30.000 What are you, soba?

02:24:31.000 Yeah, what are you, soba?

02:24:32.000 Oh wait, are you going to get vegan now, Bridge?

02:24:34.000 Yeah.

02:24:35.000 You're going to start using condoms?

02:24:37.000 What are you going to do?

02:24:37.000 Save the whales?

02:24:39.000 You stop using plastic straws?

02:24:41.000 Yep, yep.

02:24:41.000 You fucking lip tides out there.

02:24:44.000 That's hilarious.

02:24:45.000 Yeah.

02:24:45.000 Yeah, I think there's people that can't do stuff.

02:24:49.000 There's people that can.

02:24:50.000 I wish I could.

02:24:51.000 I tried.

02:24:52.000 But you seem to be having a good time.

02:24:54.000 I'm still nuts.

02:24:55.000 All the second wife stuff happened in sobriety.

02:24:59.000 That was like a crazy time.

02:25:02.000 It wasn't like college.

02:25:03.000 I was like 37 years old.

02:25:06.000 It seemed like you had a little sidetrack.

02:25:08.000 No big deal.

02:25:09.000 I'm grateful.

02:25:10.000 It's a miracle that I did make it to getting sober.

02:25:14.000 Like, when I look from 20 to 35, I mean, even those years when I moved back, when I was here at 19 in the Valley, it was just a lot of playing dominoes and doom blow late into the night.

02:25:26.000 Dominoes!

02:25:27.000 Oh, yeah.

02:25:27.000 All night.

02:25:28.000 With a bunch of, like, D-list, like, porn stars.

02:25:32.000 Yeah.

02:25:33.000 And a lawyer who dealt us all of our blow.

02:25:36.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:25:38.000 And from that to dating a really rich dude and being all over Europe and drinking Dom everywhere and being in San Tropez.

02:25:49.000 I was like, I've always joked.

02:25:52.000 I've made it look amazing.

02:25:53.000 And people are like, why'd you quit?

02:25:56.000 Why'd you quit, Bridget?

02:25:57.000 And they want to hear some story like, I killed someone in a drunk driving accident.

02:26:02.000 Something that they can...

02:26:03.000 And I'm like, I was just dying inside.

02:26:05.000 Like, something in me knew that I could do better.

02:26:09.000 There's like a little voice that always knew.

02:26:12.000 Sure.

02:26:13.000 And part of it was being in rehab at 19. It wasn't like I had evidence.

02:26:18.000 There's plenty of hints.

02:26:19.000 Yeah!

02:26:20.000 Yeah.

02:26:21.000 I mean, I can't imagine me on Twitter in 2016 with alcohol and drugs.

02:26:27.000 I'd be banned.

02:26:29.000 I'd be canceled.

02:26:32.000 And I'd be banned.

02:26:33.000 You could just say you had a problem with substances and now you're clean.

02:26:38.000 You were sick.

02:26:39.000 No, I would have been banned from Twitter, for sure.

02:26:41.000 So you start a new account.

02:26:42.000 A lot of people do that.

02:26:44.000 I don't know.

02:26:46.000 I'm grateful you do Sober October because it does make me feel.

02:26:49.000 It's like the one month that I can safely not watch your podcast and not be like white knuckling.

02:26:55.000 I'm enjoying it.

02:26:56.000 It's not bothering me at all.

02:26:59.000 I like a glass of wine with meals.

02:27:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:27:01.000 I miss that too.

02:27:03.000 I never had one glass of wine.

02:27:04.000 I like a cold beer on a hot day, but I'm not having a problem.

02:27:06.000 I like it.

02:27:07.000 You know, and I'm just working out a lot.

02:27:08.000 I think, too, knowing there's an end makes it easier.

02:27:12.000 It does, but one thing that I'm seeing is the way I feel.

02:27:16.000 Like, when I do shows at night, like tonight I have two shows, tomorrow I have two shows, and I know I'm not going to be drinking either show.

02:27:22.000 So I know when I wake up in the morning, I'm going to feel good.

02:27:25.000 And do you notice a difference in your show?

02:27:27.000 Is there a difference in your shows?

02:27:29.000 A little bit, yeah.

02:27:30.000 Yeah, I mean, I probably am more coherent.

02:27:35.000 My timing's probably a little better.

02:27:36.000 Yeah.

02:27:38.000 I don't know, but then maybe I'm not as loose.

02:27:40.000 But by the end of the month, like right now, I'm the 20th.

02:27:43.000 You know, it's the 22nd.

02:27:44.000 It's all gravy.

02:27:45.000 Do you think that your audience would turn on you if you were ever like, I'm done!

02:27:50.000 No, it would be fine.

02:27:52.000 Nobody gives a fuck what you do.

02:27:53.000 It's true.

02:27:53.000 You could be sober or not.

02:27:54.000 So as long as you're funny, if you're doing well, if like the people are coming to see you and you're putting in the work and they're laughing, they're having a good time, you're putting on a good show, they're not going to be mad at you.

02:28:03.000 Bridget, I've got to wrap this up.

02:28:05.000 It's 3 o'clock.

02:28:06.000 It's been amazing.

02:28:06.000 We did it!

02:28:07.000 We did it!

02:28:08.000 We'll do it again.

02:28:09.000 Thank you for having me.

02:28:09.000 My pleasure.

02:28:10.000 We'll do it again, for sure.

02:28:11.000 Tell people your Twitter handle.

02:28:13.000 Oh, at Bridget Phetasy.

02:28:14.000 You can find me...

02:28:15.000 Spell that out.

02:28:16.000 B-R-I-D-G-E-T-P-H-E-T-A-S-Y. You can find my Walk-Ins Welcome podcast on anywhere.

02:28:26.000 And I have the weekly dumpster fire show on YouTube, which is bananas.

02:28:31.000 Yay!

02:28:32.000 Thank you.

02:28:32.000 My pleasure.

02:28:33.000 Thanks for doing this.

02:28:34.000 It was fun.

02:28:34.000 Yeah.

02:28:34.000 Bye everybody.

02:28:35.000 Bye.

02:28:37.000 That was so fun.

02:28:39.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 22, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1367 - Bridget Phetasy

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