In this episode of Cracked, the boys are joined by Chris Ryan, who travels the world in a Sprinter van. We talk about the difference between sleeping in a car and sleeping on the backseat of a van, and why you shouldn t even be allowed to be drunk in your own car if you have a warrant to search your vehicle. Cracked is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New Episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, Like, and Share on Apple Podcasts and become a Friend of The Cracked Crew wherever you get your shows. Thanks to our sponsor, Cracked! Cracked is a podcast about the intersection of technology and culture. This episode features Cracked's very own Cracked co-host, Chris Ryan. We hope you enjoy Cracked s first episode, and that you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it. Thank you to Cracked for sponsoring Cracked. The opinions expressed in this episode are our own, not those of our sponsors, and we do not affiliated with any of the companies mentioned in the podcast. If you like what you hear, please consider giving us a review, rating, rating and/or reviewing it a review on iTunes, and sharing it on your social media platforms. It helps us spread the word to your friends and family about Cracked and all the other awesome things we do! Cheers! - The Cracks Crew! Chris and the Cracked Team Chris Ryan and the crew at Cracked are working on a new podcast called Cracked Podcasts, and are looking forward to making a new episode next week with our first ever episode. . , and we hope you all of your feedback is in the next episode, so don t forget to subscribe and share it on Anchor, and tell us what you think about it on Insta- and send us what it means to you like it's the best thing you've heard so we can spread it out there's a little bit more like that's Cracked can do it! We love you guys love you're getting a good one, and it's a good thing, right? or you can do that's cool, right here, right there, or not just like that, or you're Cracked? - Thank you, bye! and we'll be back next week! Love ya, bye, Cheers, Joe and Joe!
00:00:27.000It's like, you know, you and I have probably spoken about in my 20s, I backpacked all over the world and hitchhiked to Alaska a couple times and did all these adventures.
00:00:36.000A sprinter van that you have a bed in and a cooler and a freezer, that's kind of like a backpack for an older, slightly richer dude.
00:01:19.000I'm not a legal expert, but my understanding is that the front two seats are considered the vehicle, but beyond that, in the back where you have the bed and all the stuff, that's considered your house.
00:01:32.000So a warrant to search is the same as someone coming into your house.
00:01:39.000Because I know a dude who got in trouble because he was drunk in the backseat of his car because he knew he was drunk and so he's like, I'm not fucking driving.
00:01:48.000And he laid down the backseat of his car and the cops knocked on the door and he opened up the door and he said, yeah, I'm drunk and I'm sleeping off and they arrested him.
00:04:08.000One of the things that Snowden talked about yesterday, about the terms and conditions that you accept.
00:04:15.000And who knows what's in there that then you're not complying with.
00:04:19.000Well, you'd have to have a lawyer go over every piece of it and then a lot of it is open to interpretation and they can change it at a moment's notice.
00:04:26.000One of the things that you see in terms and conditions is they have the ability to change it without notice.
00:04:33.000Sam Harris had a great podcast with this guy who was an expert in data collection.
00:04:39.000He was talking about what's actually happening now is that there's a commodity.
00:04:46.000And we didn't know it was a commodity.
00:04:48.000And then all of a sudden these companies like Facebook and Google made billions and billions of dollars off of this commodity that we didn't even know we were giving up.
00:07:01.000Well, humans are strange creatures, you know, and we vary so widely that, you know, trying to make any sense of putting 300 million of us together on an island, essentially.
00:08:08.000She was across the room talking to her mom on the phone in French.
00:08:12.000And then her mom put her dad on the phone, so she switched to Catalan.
00:08:16.000And I was just high enough that I noticed, like, wow, that's not – Peggy talking two different languages and then three because she would like put her hand on the phone and say, my mom said no, no, no.
00:08:43.000And at the time I was in grad school and I thought this is like multiple personality disorder.
00:08:49.000So I started researching multiple personality and I sort of came up with this idea that language, in her case, because she learned them all when she was very young, She reconfigures the brain in such a way that she actually has different identities in those languages.
00:09:08.000And next time we were fucking, I started talking to her in Spanish, and she freaked out.
00:10:07.000People have, with multiple personality disorder, the research is bizarre.
00:10:13.000It seems to indicate that people have different physiological states in the different personalities.
00:10:20.000So you could have a different baseline heart rate, blood pressure, Different baseline heart rate.
00:10:30.000I don't know how reliable this is, but I even read that some people have different ocular pressure, so that one personality needs reading glasses and another doesn't.
00:11:29.000We had a weird conversation, and I think part of the weird conversation was the first conversation that he's had publicly since he's been accused of, you know...
00:13:38.000People die when a spell is cast or a curse because they believe it.
00:13:42.000If you don't believe it, it doesn't happen.
00:13:44.000So it happens the opposite direction as well with healing.
00:13:47.000So his idea is that that would have been a very adaptive characteristic in prehistoric societies, whereas in contemporary societies it's maladaptive because you're more susceptible to advertising or you're easier to manipulate.
00:14:04.000So I – yeah, I've – when I was in grad school, I had some professors who worked with hypnosis and I studied it a bit along the same – around the same time I was looking at multiple personality disorder.
00:14:18.000Because I was real interested in this question of how the brain and the body interact.
00:14:24.000There's all this research showing that people with the same condition in hospitals, exactly the same age, same prognosis and all that.
00:14:34.000They heal significantly faster if their hospital window looks out on trees as opposed to looks out at another building.
00:15:16.000And then 2001 says having seven personalities is tough, her saying it.
00:15:20.000Well, here's the thing about Roseanne.
00:15:23.000I'm saying this for the tenth time, I guess.
00:15:26.000She was hit by a car when she was 15 and she was put in a mental institute for nine months afterwards She had severe brain damage and she lost her ability to do mathematics and like really scrambled her brain and that is probably the birth of the Roseanne that we know the comedian and That's also the case of Sam Kinison Sam Kinison was also like a pretty normal kid and then he was hit by a car and you know pretty severe brain damage as well and Brain damage,
00:15:55.000especially has an impact on your ability to be rational and impulsive behavior.
00:16:08.000People with brain damage a lot of times get very impulsive.
00:16:13.000It's what happens to you dependent upon what kind of trauma, where the trauma is, what part of your brain.
00:16:20.000But when they said it about Herschel Walker, I was always confused.
00:16:23.000I wonder if it was from football, like football trauma, or was it personal trauma, like, you know, abuse?
00:16:29.000Yeah, people with – are diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, if I remember correctly, almost always were severely abused as kids.
00:16:39.000You know, in fact, the rationale is that they develop the alternate personalities as a way of escaping a reality that's intolerable.
00:19:34.000Have you ever read the accounts of the settlers in the pioneer days making their way across the country and dealing with these swarms of locusts and really not having any idea what to do with them and how to handle it?
00:22:17.000Allergies are a bummer, especially freaking peanuts.
00:22:19.000I've heard peanut allergies are so bad that people will ask you to not eat peanuts on a plane with someone who has a peanut allergy.
00:22:27.000Like some people's peanut allergy is so severe that even like the dust of you chewing peanuts on a plane next to them can get them sick.
00:22:37.000And it's interesting to think about the state of consciousness and how that affects allergies because apparently – and again, I'm always cautious about saying shit on the show because there's so many people listening.
00:22:49.000So caveat, it's been a long time since I read the research.
00:22:52.000But if I remember correctly, under hypnosis, a lot of people with allergies no longer – in fact, I remember the research – Yeah, it was a setup where the person could see.
00:23:06.000So like you and I are talking across the table and there's a mirror behind me.
00:23:11.000And in the mirror, in your peripheral vision, you see roses.
00:25:25.000And I mean, I've got this idea for a book, if I keep writing books, which is sort of a self-help book, but it's a parody of self-help books.
00:25:34.000And so it'll be calling attention to the way so much of what we do to try to be healthy is actually counterproductive because we stress, especially Americans.
00:26:02.000There's a reason it feels good, you know?
00:26:04.000Now that can get corrupted by advertising and false messaging from a sick society that tells you, you know, sit on the sofa and drink beer and eat bags of chips all day.
00:26:15.000But if you get beyond that and you can actually hear the voice of your body, I think if your body is telling you to, you know, stay in bed because it's a rainy cold day, Now, I know this is totally against your perspective on life,
00:26:31.000where you're like, you've got to tame the inner bitch, you've got to get out of bed, you've got to work out, it doesn't matter.
00:26:36.000I'm like, no, man, I'm staying in bed.
00:29:39.000But when it was over, I was like, okay, obviously, I'm in good shape, but not in good running shape at all, so I should probably get in shape for this.
00:31:36.000Maybe there's like a workout element to that.
00:31:40.000Well, sex, when you're really aroused and you're really attracted to the person, like in the middle of the act of it, it's like you're on a drug.
00:31:47.000It can be like this incredible elevation where you're high, basically.
00:31:55.000You're high in this crazy aroused state.
00:31:58.000And you have that hyper-focus that you're talking about removing anxiety.
00:32:04.000You're not thinking about anything other than where you are.
00:34:15.000He was like, he said, yeah, you know, I've had the experience a few times of, you know, standing on this toes over the cliff 3,000 feet up or whatever and fist bump with your buddy and he goes and says, see you, you know, see you down there.
00:35:30.000Mob mentality like, you know, if there's like a riot, like physical violence, in a way that you would never, like, a lot of people who would never think about hitting someone When people are hitting people all over the place, you'll just dive in.
00:35:45.000People will dive in and kick people and punch people.
00:36:20.000It was after the Ohio State-Michigan game in 2002. The Ohio State-Michigan game, I know you don't really understand the football thing of it, but there, it's a huge day, big event.
00:36:30.000We won in a very close game, undefeated season for Ohio State, so they're headed to the national championship.
00:36:35.000This then meant sofas on fire in the street for like the next couple hours.
00:36:40.000And then shortly as the night exploded, there was a couple bonfires in the middle of the street.
00:36:47.000We saw that on the news, so we went close to see it because we were a couple blocks away.
00:36:50.000As we got close, we heard the knee-knocker bullets getting fired out, so everybody scattered.
00:37:34.000There wasn't a lot of violence, but just 12 to 15 cars got fucked up.
00:37:38.000The thing is, someone could have died.
00:37:41.000What's really crazy about those chaotic moments of violence is that when something's in the air and you see a big brawl going on, it's like everything seems...
00:37:51.000It seems like civilization's flimsy, like for that brief moment.
00:37:55.000I think there's a natural thing that kicks in with people that sort of allows them to act in war and allows them to act like when the tribe is invaded.
00:38:08.000Like when, you know, when a neighboring army invades your village, there's some thing that kicks in where you, like, recognize this is violence and you just look to swing on anybody that's around you.
00:38:19.000And you see it in these brawls when you see some sort of a riot.
00:38:25.000Like, you see these people and you're like, I guarantee you that guy's never punched anybody before in his life.
00:38:28.000And he's running over trying to punch people.
00:39:29.000I've often wondered about what that is, because I've been around it a bunch of times.
00:39:34.000Well, I was around it once, big time in high school.
00:39:38.000When I was in high school, there was a kid who lived in this really nice house, and he'd moved into the neighborhood for the first time, and he decided he was going to have a party to meet a bunch of people, make friends.
00:39:48.000And people started robbing his house, and a brawl broke out.
00:42:49.000Yeah, I mean, you think about these dudes who, you know, come back from war with PTSD. You know, again, it's this consciousness context dependent behavior where, you know, they do things in that situation and then they come back to the normal world.
00:43:27.000Like, once they get there, you know, get you to go do what they want to do, then, you know, it's hard to even get, you know, is what, a two-year wait for any sort of psychological counseling?
00:43:43.000Actually, the one Jamie showed, it was right before the wingsuit dude, was a dude who'd been in Iraq, and then he came back and worked as a SWAT team commander.
00:43:56.000So he was doing all sorts of really heavy stuff, and then he just got out.
00:44:02.000And now he's living off-grid in Idaho, raising three little boys with his wife.
00:44:07.000And he's a former Mormon, so he sort of talked about how Mormonism taught him to respect authority and do what he was told.
00:44:17.000And that just fed right into his experience in the Army and with the police.
00:44:22.000But man, I have so much compassion for those guys.
00:44:26.000Who get out and like look back and say, what did I do, you know?
00:44:53.000And yeah, like we were just saying, they get very little support.
00:45:00.000They're sent off to do this horrible stuff and then they come back and it's like, okay, no, don't do that anymore.
00:45:06.000Yeah, the incremental progress that we achieve as a civilization is, it's amazing, but also so frustratingly slow that no one, I mean, no one I've ever talked to thinks there's going to be a moment in our lifetime where there's no war.
00:45:44.000Like, what number of people, how many people do they have to be before one of those things becomes a possibility?
00:45:52.000If you have a group of close friends, a group of close friends who are good communicators and good, honest, healthy, friendly people can live together.
00:46:02.000And, you know, whatever issues you might have with someone not doing the dishes or someone forgetting to put back your lawnmower or whatever the fuck it is, you could work that out.
00:46:28.000And I think that's why, because, you know, a hunter-gatherer group, which is egalitarian and sharing and cooperative and all that, by necessity, right, because that's how our ancestors survived, is by taking care of each other, mitigating risk, you need reputational damage.
00:46:46.000And if everyone doesn't know everyone, reputational damage is no longer effective.
00:46:52.000So if you, let's say you go and you're a good hunter and you kill an antelope and then you don't share it and you just keep it for yourself, that's not going to go over real well with a hunter-gatherer group.
00:47:05.000You're going to be ridiculed, chastised, maybe expelled from the group, maybe have a hunting accident and die.
00:47:14.000Because that hoarding, selfish behavior is extremely taboo in a hunter-gatherer society.
00:47:20.000Whereas, you know, you look at our society where reputational damage is no longer functional outside of your group of friends.
00:47:29.000As long as you're good to your friends, your golfing buddies, you can screw the rest of the world.
00:47:34.000You can not pay your contractors for years and become president.
00:48:33.000You know, Dunbar was looking at the brain anatomy of different primates, and by looking at the proportion of a neocortex to the rest of the brain, he predicted the maximum social size of those primates, of each of the species.
00:48:47.000And that's how he came to the estimate of 150 for humans.
00:48:52.000And then they went and looked at people.
00:50:24.000And I think I'm going to, I don't know if Steve did this or not, but I think I'm going to, as I said, a director's cut.
00:50:30.000So I'll, you know, when I read a paragraph that reminds me of something, or, you know, what I thought when I wrote that, or, you know, my dad really wanted me to include that phrase or, you know, whatever little asides.
00:50:41.000So there'll be some commentary as well, I think.
00:53:16.000Dick Gregory, he's one that I really wish I met.
00:53:19.000I would have loved to talk to him about what it was like to show the Kennedy assassination footage on Geraldo Rivera like 10 plus years after the fact.
00:54:48.000It's one of the best unintentional comedies ever, but I don't think it's particularly unintentional.
00:54:53.000There's a fucking moment in that film where the sheriff, when the sheriff's talking about the body and carrying the body off in bags, he's like, what did you think?
00:55:02.000Well, first time I heard about it, I thought he was retarded.
00:55:05.000And then the kid just has a smash cut to the sheriff's face, and I'm fucking howling.
00:59:44.000When a gay man comes out of the closet, those roles, John Travolta, whoever it would be, I don't know if he's gay either, but if he was, that's where the buck stops.
00:59:57.000You cannot be the leading man who's the married guy with kids or the hot man who's in a sexual relationship with a woman if we know that you're having sex with men.
01:02:50.000But you're tapping into this sort of primal reward system that you have in your DNA that makes you want to catch these fish, but then you're letting it go.
01:02:59.000But it gives you a reason to be out by the river, out in the morning.
01:03:03.000Normally it's morning or dusk when the flies are landing.
01:03:06.000I've been hunting since the last time you and I spoke.
01:04:24.000And then at the last minute, I think Aubrey couldn't go, I think because you were coming down to Austin and he wanted to coordinate with you or something.
01:04:33.000So they said, yo, Chris, if you want to go, it's all paid for.
01:04:41.000So did you have to practice leading up to that, or were you already shooting a bow?
01:04:45.000I was already shooting because Kyle Tierman and I had already planned a trip for like three weeks after that.
01:04:56.000So I was already practicing for that, which was going to be a pig hunting trip on the Big Island.
01:05:02.000But then I went on this deer thing, but mainly I went on the deer thing just because it was an opportunity to fly around in helicopters and see Molokai, which is amazing.
01:05:11.000But I didn't hunt on that, because I didn't...
01:05:14.000Honestly, I didn't want to hurt anything.
01:05:18.000You didn't feel like you were competent enough with it?
01:08:01.000And also, you know, the thing about a bow is, and maybe this is what you're implying here, if you're not really good, the chances of you...
01:08:10.000Of an elk running off or a pig running off with an arrow in its ass and dying a slow, horrible death is quite high.
01:08:17.000If you hit him with a rifle, high-powered rifle with a scope, you know, and you're in the right range.
01:08:23.000You can still wound him, but you're much more competent with a rifle.
01:12:18.000But you're really interesting because you're like this man's man, but you're also vulnerable.
01:12:25.000You know, you're also, like, you admit when you fuck up.
01:12:28.000Like, you had someone, the Twitter guy on, and you're like, yeah, I wasn't prepared, I fucked it up, and you had him back, and that's cool.
01:12:36.000And it's probably, I don't know, is it hard for you to maintain that kind of humility when you're getting all this pressure and opportunities and all this stuff coming at you?
01:13:08.000Yeah, you'd just be pretending you're cooler than you are.
01:13:10.000I think part of being a human being is making mistakes.
01:13:15.000It's a messy thing to be a person, you know?
01:13:19.000And I mean, I'm also big on forgiveness.
01:13:22.000And I think you have to be because human beings are fallible and like we're saying, we vary from moment to the next.
01:13:32.000And to try to hold someone to who they were six months ago or a year ago or five years ago or what they said or what they did and not accept it and hold a grudge To me, that's crazy.
01:14:09.000I'm super self-critical, and I have definitely some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder that allows me to get really good at things because I obsess.
01:14:20.000You know, it's probably unhealthy, but I manage it.
01:14:23.000But, like, the mania that goes on in my mind, I just figured out a way to put it to use.
01:14:29.000It's like, okay, I got this fucking engine.
01:15:21.000It's like, I'm finally figuring this shit out, and I'm almost 60. Well, I remember when I was, like, 26, 25, and when I first came out here, I remember thinking, boy, by the time I'm 52, oh, fucking everything's solved.
01:15:37.000There's arbitrary numbers that we have in our head of who you should be at 50 or 60 or whatever the number is.
01:16:27.000But I've spent most of the time sitting by a campfire looking at the stars, you know?
01:16:33.000The times that I get outside, like when I elk hunt every year, and I spend time, particularly in Utah, in the mountains, the place that we go, it's just, it's cleansing in a way that is so hard to describe.
01:16:48.000It's so hard to describe what it's like just to be out there in the woods and be in the forest and be with the wild animals.
01:21:07.000And if we don't, I'm going to work hard to make it not uncomfortable.
01:21:11.000The thing about people liking people and not liking people, a lot of it is this severely limited way of communicating, especially when it's one way.
01:21:22.000If you're putting out a podcast or you're putting out books and they're reading your shit but they don't get to interact at all, that builds resentment.
01:21:29.000There's a lot of weird resentment that people develop when they listen to you and they don't get to interact.
01:21:35.000Especially if someone like me Who's always talking shit, right?
01:21:40.000I talk shit for a living, basically, and I'm always giving my opinions, and some people have maybe even a strong point that I probably even agree with them.
01:22:11.000Yeah, I mean, I was thinking my buddy Simon and I were in a restaurant in Venice and the woman recognized me and like, oh, I love your podcast and gave me your number and I was like, yeah, I'll give her a call sometime.
01:22:23.000And Simon's like, dude, I would never do that.
01:22:25.000You never, never, you know, interact with your fans.
01:22:29.000And then I was like, no, but Simon, you don't get it.
01:22:51.000I really, like the van trips, the vanthropology thing, I'll say, okay, I'm going to be in Boise at this beer pub Thursday at 8, and people show up.
01:24:06.000Between 50 and 100. Like, you know, when you and Duncan were on, when we were doing the shrimp parade thing, it would, you know, peak because it's you guys.
01:24:50.000At this point, I only do ads for companies that I really like and that I use their stuff.
01:25:00.000So I don't have a broker or any of that stuff.
01:25:04.000Yeah, I think the subscription model, like when people are paying, like a paywall, the problem is the growth is so limited.
01:25:13.000So then you could either just do it for free and put it out there and maybe just sell books or sell T-shirts or, you know, in my case, tickets to shows.
01:27:23.000And it was back when people used to be able to smoke.
01:27:25.000They smoked in there so much that all the columns are like...
01:27:29.000They have that orangey nicotine sort of tint to them.
01:27:34.000But one of the columns was replaced by...
01:27:36.000So this one column is clear and smooth and clean, and the other ones are fucking orangey.
01:27:43.000It seems like you could go up to them with a butter knife and just scrape the nicotine off of them.
01:27:48.000But it's a beautiful old building that was made...
01:27:52.000Way, way, way back in the day, and they said that when it was first made, it was one of the only buildings in Detroit that had air conditioning, so people would go to see movies there, and they would pay to see movies just so they could fall asleep.
01:28:04.000They'd go in there in just the cool air, and they'd fall asleep during the summer, because people would just be sweltering in the heat of the summer.
01:28:30.000Because the sort of confluence of convenience and safety and ease, and it's still exotic and really interesting and very foreign...
01:28:40.000You know, I wouldn't recommend India to everyone or Indonesia, but Thailand is like, whatever your tolerance is, you'll find something there that works for you.
01:28:49.000Yeah, I know a lot of fighters who've gone there for camps, for training camps, and wound up either moving there or starting camps there or starting gyms there.
01:29:42.000There's some really beautiful places, but I found, I was traveling with Casilda, my wife, who's dark-skinned, and there's a lot of racism in She got harassed a lot because everyone assumed that she was a local.
01:33:46.000And then we had to do a sound check, or you had to do an ad or something, and the story got interrupted, and I felt like you thought I was trying to diss you or something.
01:34:04.000And I'm like, fuck, if I don't hit this joint, then I'm confirmed asshole here.
01:34:09.000So I hit the joint even though I hadn't smoked any weed in months.
01:34:13.000And it was this, like, California weed.
01:34:16.000I'm holding, literally, I remember, I'm holding the bottom of my chair, trying not to fall out of the chair.
01:34:23.000And we start talking, and I'm telling this story about a dude that I had met on an airplane, and he was super into Sex at Dawn, and then we were going to do a movie together and whatever.
01:34:36.000And then his wife took the book away from him.
01:36:53.000When there's no pot at all, that never happens.
01:36:56.000I mean, you might make mistakes, but you know what you're talking about while you're talking about it.
01:37:00.000When you're really, really high like that, there's a lot of times where you're talking about stuff where you literally don't know exactly what you're talking about.
01:39:04.000Like, you don't see people puking in the street, you know, raging, drunken lunatics, like, you know, in the US. What about, like, sports events, like soccer games?
01:40:28.000So the hero with a thousand faces, his observation that societies all over the world have basically the same origin myth, which is the odyssey, right?
01:40:39.000It's the person goes out and has all these challenges and faces their fears and learns all the stuff and then returns home with the knowledge that they've gained and they realize that what they were looking for all the time is actually...
01:40:51.000I feel like, as a species, we're at the point in that journey where we're turning toward home.
01:41:02.000That's sort of the overriding narrative of this book, that where we are now is we've learned enough that we can go back to or go toward a way of living that replicates in important ways where we came from.
01:41:26.000We're looking at different ways of raising kids.
01:41:29.000We're looking at paleo diet, fasting, controlling the frequency of the light that comes into our eyes at night.
01:41:39.000There's this awareness that the way forward requires an understanding of where we came from.
01:41:47.000So I kind of feel when I'm having a good day, I feel like we're at this point now, this crisis point where these institutions, central institutions of Western civilization are collapsing around us.
01:41:58.000They're just government, Wall Street, religion.
01:42:01.000It's all just like being exposed as incompetent and useless in many cases.
01:42:10.000But we've learned these really interesting things like birth control and passive energy and different ways of living on the earth without destroying it.
01:42:21.000And so the sort of metaphor I use in the book is that we're going to live in zoos, right?
01:42:27.000But do we want to live in the Calcutta Zoo or the San Diego Zoo?
01:42:31.000And I feel like, you know, what we're seeing now is we're clearly in a moment of massive global change.
01:42:39.000And I hope that what the opportunity will...
01:42:43.000That's being presented is to redesign human existence in a way that's more in accordance with our nature.
01:43:24.000I mean, you've seen women that have children.
01:43:26.000It's the most intense bonding, the most intense release of oxytocin, the most intense love and feeling of connection with another living creature that...
01:43:41.000I've ever experienced that I could ever explain to someone.
01:43:45.000And it's a natural part of being a human being.
01:43:48.000It also changes who you are as a person when you are responsible for these little people and then you have love for these little people.
01:43:55.000Like Dave Chappelle said to me once something that really resonated.
01:43:58.000He said, not only has it changed how much I love, it changed my capacity for love.
01:44:35.000And it's undeniable that you love the baby, you love your child, but you did not have the experience of having it grow inside your body, which I think is a connection that no man is ever going to understand.
01:44:50.000I don't think it's possible to understand what a woman experiences when she has a baby grow inside of her body.
01:45:20.000Yeah, I mean, this is something that's missing in our experience when we're not there and we don't see that little person become a big person.
01:45:32.000I feel like I've gained, you know, this is part of what I was referring to earlier where I said, like, you know, we're learning to dance and the party's almost over.
01:46:38.000Some people it's hard to find someone who loves them and some people are burdened down.
01:46:42.000You're very free in the sense that because you have this unusual way of making money and you don't have a lot of needs, you don't need a lot of material things.
01:46:53.000Some people are very burdened by these needs and they're not free and they're confined to a job and it's very difficult for them to meet anybody.
01:47:03.000And then you're also stressed out all the time because of bills and horseshit and then work politics and work dynamics and dealing with the fucking environment of the office.
01:47:14.000And you got a boss that's an asshole who's like, you know, you have board meetings and shit and everybody's got to sit there and get cancer while this asshole talks.
01:47:24.000You know, are you imagine sitting at a board table and some guys, what we got to do with this company?
01:48:42.000And you reminded me of when you were talking about seeing the full person's life.
01:48:46.000Sometimes I've looked at, like, women that I was with who were, you know, 35 years old, and I see the old lady in them and be moved by that.
01:48:56.000You know, like, you're going to be a beautiful old lady.
01:50:02.000You take it home and hook this thing in your finger and all that.
01:50:04.000And they told me, I think it was like 25 episodes per hour is considered severe.
01:50:10.000I had 74. Every minute I was suffocating to the point where I sort of woke up and like my throat tissue, you know, the muscles contract so you can breathe again.
01:52:30.000I didn't, I mean, I feel kind of evangelical about it, because, you know, I know a lot of people have this, men and women, And there's this weird kind of shame around it, and I'm just trying to be like, hey.
01:52:42.000Yeah, it's a weird thing to be shameful.
01:55:38.000So my buddy Kyle and I did it last year.
01:55:42.000So the idea is we were hiking one day in Topanga and we were talking about how he's an environmental activist as well as a big wave surfer.
01:56:20.000Anyway, we're talking about how hard it is to get people to pay attention to environmental issues because it's such a downer, you know?
01:56:29.000And I was like, man, I know all these comedians.
01:56:32.000It would be cool if we could find a way to get comedy into the environmental thing.
01:56:38.000And we came up with this idea where we flip everything upside down and we say, we have an awards ceremony to honor the companies that are doing the most to fuck Mother Earth.
01:56:49.000And the awards are accepted on behalf of the companies by comedians.
01:56:55.000So we did it last year and it was fucking wild.
01:56:59.000So the presenters were people like Matt Taibbi from Rolling Stone and the guy who was the founder of Greenpeace and environmental people and sort of political people.
01:57:11.000And accepting on behalf of these people, like Leo Flowers, if you know him, Jake Johansson, Moshe Kasher, and Natasha Leggero did this incredible bit where they were incestuous brother-sister couple.
01:57:25.000Yeah, I think they represented Chase Bank.
01:59:22.000It's like, there's people that are real self-help people that are doing real work, and they really are committed to it, and they love it, and they really love helping people.
01:59:31.000And then there's other people that find that as like a niche.
01:59:51.000The world of constant motivation, where you're constantly motivating people and trying to find some new way to say things you've already said a thousand times.
02:00:38.000It's very strange because they've tapped into this need and this feeling that people have where they need to be motivated and they need someone to say positive spiritual things that resonate with them.
02:00:50.000So these people have sort of found that as a way to become popular or famous or insta-famous or whatever, you know?
02:00:57.000Yeah, it's like buying a membership to a gym and then never going.
02:01:03.000Or what I do sometimes, I love to buy camping gear.
02:02:23.000I guess if that's all you've ever known, if all you've ever known was living in an incredibly primitive way and hunting and gathering, you'd be fine with it.
02:02:33.000Well, hunting and gathering is easy for hunter-gatherers.
02:05:38.000I don't remember where I was, but we were sitting around a fire talking about, like, bizarre experiences we'd had traveling, whatever.
02:05:45.000He was from, I think, New Hampshire, and he had a thing, like you and Marshall go running every morning, he had a thing where he and his dog would go down to the lake and take a swim every day at dusk.
02:05:57.000When he got home from work, he'd take the dog for a swim.
02:09:11.000When I lived in Florida, when I was a kid, we lived in Gainesville, and there was alligators everywhere, and I remember one of them snatched some lady's dog, and I was like, Jesus Christ, I didn't know they killed people's dogs, because you would see them floating around, and they seemed so innocuous,
02:09:27.000because they were almost always still.
02:13:18.000Yeah, he tried to chase it off and he stumbled upon, there was a smell, he's a rancher, he stumbled upon this smell and the smell was a dead cow and this black bear had been eating this dead cow and he tried to chase the black bear off and the black bear decided to try to go after him and had to wind up shooting it.
02:13:44.000He's trying to say, hey, get the fuck out of here!
02:13:46.000Waving his arms, and it woofed at him, and then it turned around and came at him from another direction, and then it literally ran up within like 20 feet of him.
02:14:05.000I was in botanical gardens in Penang, Malaysia.
02:14:09.000I actually told this story at the beginning of Sex at Dawn.
02:14:12.000I was with my girlfriend at the time, and like your situation in Costa Rica, she wanted to give some peanuts to these monkeys.
02:14:19.000These guys at the entrance were selling little bags of peanuts.
02:14:24.000And so she – there was this baby monkey hanging by his tail over the trail where we were and she pulled out this bag of peanuts and like opened it and that attracted all this attention from other monkeys.
02:14:39.000And while she was handing a peanut to the baby, this other monkey jumped out from the bushes, leapt on her, took the bag of peanuts, and was gone, like in a flash.
02:16:00.000And he sort of, like, moves, you know, sort of does this thing, and he's looking at me, and there's a branch, and I picked up the branch and threw it at him, right?
02:16:09.000Kind of like what your buddy was trying to do with his bear.
02:16:11.000Like, hey, get the fuck out of here, you know?
02:16:13.000And this monkey just looked at the branch land in front of him and looked up at me, and he was like, you fucked up.
02:16:22.000And he leapt over it and came charging at me with these fangs, just coming straight at me.