Joe Rogan Experience #1381 - Donnell Rawlings
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 39 minutes
Words per Minute
195.17256
Summary
In this episode, we talk about spitting and rap in general, and why it's not something rappers should be asked to do. We also talk about the evolution of rap, and how rap has changed over the years, and what it means to be a rapper in the 21st century. We also get into the history of rap and rap as a whole, from the early days of hip hop, to the current state of rap music, and some of our favorite rap songs from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, to current rap and hip hop artists like Jay-Z and Chance The Rapper, and much more! Thank you for listening to this episode of the WDFA Podcast, and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date with the latest episodes of WDFA Radio and all things hip hop! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Subscribe to our other shows MIC/LINE, The Anthropology, The HYPE Report, and HYPETALKS. Music: by The Fugees and . is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Produced and Edited by D.J. Morton and the Crew at Native Creative Productions. We provide original music and sound effects for all original music produced and mixed by Native Creative. and produced in collaboration with Native Creative and Native Creative, and our team of musicians and artists. All rights reserved to Native Creative Records. Thank You for supporting Native Creative and all rights reserved for use of our music and distribution. , Native Creative's original music, Native Creative Albums and other original artwork, and all original artwork produced and original soundtracks produced by Native creative rights, and , and Native Creative Rights. - . . . - Native Creative Music, - and all other rights reserved . , , & Native Creative Credit - and , "Native Creative Rights, - by Native Creators - is a proud member of the Native Creative Union, , is a tribute to Native Creatives. & ? . . , " Native Creative Capital, and " (Native Creative Capital . and "Native Creators, " . . " . " , " & "Native Capital, " " " , " " " and " , & " - "Native Art, " is an " - "
Transcript
00:00:04.000
When you say turn my shit up, the engineers and the producers feel like, oh shit, this nigga just turned this shit up.
00:00:11.000
It gives you the impression that you're about to spit the hottest 16 of your life.
00:00:24.000
So nobody's ever come up to you and say, let me get your 16, spit a hot 16. Nobody's ever said that to you?
00:00:38.000
You need to change the places you hang out, son.
00:00:44.000
I'm just saying, because I'm pretty sure there are places you would have...
00:00:47.000
All the people, all the black people you know, all the rappers, and nobody...
00:01:08.000
I like listening, but I've done zero rapping myself.
00:01:14.000
People got little slick ways of saying stuff, man.
00:01:26.000
Okay, this is the point I'm making about spitting.
00:01:28.000
If you listen to it, there's probably a song that you like.
00:01:30.000
And there's never been a time in your life, you've been in the mirror, out of the shower, that it felt good to you, and you tried to...
00:01:37.000
Spitting is the same as repeating everything that the person said.
00:01:41.000
So not one song that you like, you've never tried to sing a verse or a hook from that song.
00:01:52.000
So, if I ask you, What's your favorite rap song?
00:02:10.000
So you're going back almost to Sugar Hill days.
00:02:18.000
You're spitting, but don't spit for nobody in public, son.
00:02:25.000
You like, you hip-y-hop to the hippie to the hippity hip-hop.
00:02:28.000
But if you remember that song, you remember when that song first came out, and I know I'm dating myself, you literally could get pussy if you knew every word to Rapper's Delight.
00:02:37.000
I remember I was in junior high school, and people were playing it in the lunchroom.
00:02:44.000
I remember thinking, wow, this is like a new kind of music.
00:02:49.000
Not only the way you had to learn it, it wasn't like now you can skip through the timeline to a song or whatever.
00:02:56.000
So it would play, then you had to rewind it back to that same spot and keep doing it.
00:03:01.000
You had to keep doing it until you learned all the words.
00:03:03.000
But cassette players were fairly recent back then.
00:03:05.000
So that was like when Sugar Hill came out was around the time cassette players were out where you could walk around and play the music.
00:03:14.000
And what people would do with those boombox, you would record your favorite music from the radio from your boombox.
00:03:23.000
You have a nice tape and you think it's like, oh, this shit is clear.
00:03:26.000
Then you hear somebody say, Tisha, get the fuck off the stove!
00:03:34.000
Remember, a lot of them had two decks, so you could record other people's shit, too.
00:03:38.000
Yeah, a lot of black people that had the white dudes in the suburbs had the double decks.
00:03:43.000
Double decks were nice, because you could get a friend, and he had a cassette, and you could copy that cassette.
00:04:13.000
EU. I'm old school, so these were the biggest bands back then.
00:04:15.000
Then he had this band called the Junkyard Band.
00:04:18.000
You know, Junkyard Band, the way they started was they kind of like copied the Cosby.
00:04:28.000
And these were guys who would just take buckets and cardboard and cowbells and woodblocks and just basically get a beat.
00:04:38.000
Sorry, did you ever listen to when the Brand New Heavies got together with a bunch of different rappers?
00:04:47.000
I think there's only one that they put out, but you could get it off of iTunes, I think.
00:04:59.000
But they did, like, they rapped over, like, different kind of music.
00:05:13.000
I mean, you knew for me being a black person, we knew rap was going to the next level.
00:05:22.000
Once you put that white boy vibe in there, man, that was the first time that had ever been done.
00:05:28.000
One of the things that we talked about recently, I was saying, think about the sheer number of white rappers who have actually made it.
00:05:40.000
Like if you were a white rapper, like if your kid was a white rapper, and he's like, Dad, I want to be a rapper, you're like, oh, good luck.
00:05:47.000
Yeah, but you got to get him a lot of black friends first.
00:05:53.000
And that's the same thing the black community did with Eminem.
00:05:56.000
When Eminem first came out, every black person that appreciated rap or lyrics or flow knew he was good.
00:06:07.000
They treat the new green person, the Jeep person, they treat them like shit.
00:06:18.000
He's respected as one of the best to ever do it.
00:06:24.000
This is the funniest veteran probably on the planet Earth, right across from me.
00:06:30.000
Probably the reason why I got out of the military was my sense of humor.
00:06:37.000
I kept getting in trouble to the point where this was what I used to hear almost every Monday.
00:06:46.000
Airman Rollins, your blatant disregard for established military policy shows a lack of military burn and integrity.
00:06:53.000
That's what they do when they give you a LOR. A letter of reprimand.
00:06:58.000
And it's like a thing that you put in your file.
00:07:00.000
Eventually, it's going to stack all those things up and try to kick you out.
00:07:07.000
The only way you can get out dishonorably is if it's like doing wartime or something like that.
00:07:14.000
But I was that close to fucking my whole life up if I would have stayed.
00:07:30.000
I left Kunsan, Korea, and I went to Bowling Air Force Base, Washington, D.C. And I'm from D.C., so they knew I was close to home.
00:07:36.000
And every Monday, they would give me a random drug test.
00:07:41.000
They were like, every Monday at 11 o'clock, I would get randomly tested for drugs.
00:07:45.000
I always passed, but I knew that they thought something different in me, and I knew it was time.
00:07:49.000
I did my four-year commitment, my four-year enlistment, and then I broke out.
00:07:55.000
For me, when I went in the Air Force, I was 17. You know, when you're underage, your parents have to sign, give you permission for you to go.
00:08:06.000
Because the way my birthday fell, some kind of way, when I graduated from high school, I was only 17. And I didn't plan on...
00:08:17.000
And then for a lot of black people, that's the alternative.
00:08:24.000
It's probably for some black people, it's the first time you ever got on an airplane.
00:08:28.000
So it was a good transition from going to high school not doing anything.
00:08:37.000
Like when I went to Kunsan, Korea, I didn't know there was no drinking age over there.
00:08:42.000
When you're in the military, over like a remote base, they give you rations for alcohol.
00:08:48.000
You can get four cases of beer or one case of beer is equivalent to a fifth of liquor.
00:08:52.000
So you can get four bottles of liquor or two bottles of liquor, two cases of beer.
00:08:56.000
But when they told me, how do you want to separate your rations?
00:09:03.000
First time I ever went to a liquor store on base, I got like four-fifths of tequila mix.
00:09:12.000
I was 17. I got four because I thought I didn't know what the fuck liquor was in.
00:09:19.000
It was just the fucking fruit flavor shit that you add to it to mix it with.
00:09:25.000
When you get this ration of a case of beer or...
00:09:39.000
I'll give you a case of beer for a carton of cigarettes.
00:09:42.000
And then people that didn't drink, they were selling rations.
00:09:46.000
If you really had a problem, there was a way to get around it.
00:09:51.000
Because I thought, well, first of all, I was thinking about joining because I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do.
00:09:56.000
But you were thinking about joining to actually fight for your country or just...
00:10:07.000
You was going to join just to be on Taekwondo team?
00:10:10.000
Well, I needed to figure out a way to make a living while I was competing.
00:10:14.000
When I was a kid, throughout high school and into my 20s, that's all I did was fight in Taekwondo tournaments.
00:10:24.000
He was a national, high-level, highly-ranked guy.
00:10:52.000
If they knew you were extra talent in a certain field, they would put you in.
00:10:58.000
You would have been traveling the world just beating the shit out of people.
00:11:07.000
I believe he was in the Army just before that, before he won the gold medal.
00:11:12.000
Which heavyweight fighter joined the army after he...
00:11:16.000
Riddick Bowe joined the Marines because he was trying to get some discipline.
00:11:22.000
Look, man, there's a reality about getting hit in the head.
00:11:26.000
And nobody wants to talk about it until it's too late most of the time.
00:11:33.000
And for him, he decided that he needed discipline because Riddick, he used to blow up.
00:11:41.000
When he'd get in condition, when he'd be disciplined, he was a motherfucker like those Holyfield fights.
00:11:46.000
But then he would have fights where he just came in and he was just not in quite good enough shape and he would fall apart because of that.
00:11:53.000
And I think he had decided the way to get real discipline was to join the Marines.
00:11:58.000
That's interesting to me because I'm pretty sure when he joined, he wasn't like probably a press for cash.
00:12:05.000
I don't think it was a press for cash thing, man.
00:12:09.000
He just wanted to figure out how to, maybe he felt like if they just whipped him into shape, he would get past that hump.
00:12:15.000
Because when you're a guy who's a multi-millionaire and you're a world champion and you're still lazy...
00:12:24.000
Let a white man yell at you for like two miles.
00:12:25.000
Well, black man, you know, there's a lot of black drill and stuff.
00:12:30.000
Riddick Bowe is in your squadron or whatever, and you yelling at him, and you know this one punch, this motherfucker just kill your ass, man.
00:12:38.000
I'm saying like it's always got to be something separate like this guy can yell at me so much but there's nothing he can do about it and Riddick probably could have fucked up half the people that he was enlisted with.
00:12:52.000
I mean he was only in for a short period of time.
00:12:53.000
But like I said, I think a lot of that has to do with just trauma, brain trauma.
00:13:03.000
And if you listen to Riddick now, he has a real hard time talking.
00:13:07.000
There's so many of those boxers when they get out of the ring.
00:13:11.000
I think Sugar Ray Leonard, out of all the ones that's still out publicly and doing things, he's probably one that I can listen to and you can understand.
00:13:19.000
It'll seem like his faculties are off too much.
00:13:26.000
There's a pause to the way he talks that is noticeable.
00:13:31.000
He can keep it together and he can string together good sentences, but you don't get over those wars that he had with...
00:13:57.000
Yeah, he'll beat your ass and take your girl in the same fucking fight, man.
00:14:04.000
But then he's like another one who stuck around too long.
00:14:06.000
Hector Camacho stopped him, and Terry Norris stopped him.
00:14:09.000
And later in his career, man, he was getting fucked up.
00:14:13.000
It seems like when I look at boxing and stuff like that, and people can have an unblemished record, but I feel like they'll never quit until...
00:14:23.000
It's almost like you got to get knocked out the ring or somebody have to give you the reason to quit.
00:14:28.000
Well, Andre Ward did, you know, and I was just talking to him real recently because they offered him a rematch with Canelo Alvarez because Canelo just knocked out Sergey Kovalev for the light heavyweight title.
00:14:40.000
And they said, look, this is a big super fight.
00:15:01.000
He said, I'm a better asset to boxing if I'm retired.
00:15:04.000
I'm a better asset to boxing as an example of what's possible that you can do all this and come out with 100% of your faculties intact.
00:15:14.000
And he's making money as a commentator and analyst.
00:15:38.000
And I know this may sound crazy, but he's like a lovable Mike.
00:15:51.000
He was like, I think it makes me a better person.
00:15:58.000
Somebody just posted, it came back, that interview when he was promoting his one-man show, and he was sitting down on the couch with this black guy, and the black guy was trying to push him into a corner and say some crazy shit.
00:16:10.000
Man, I had so much fucking respect for Mike Tyson for doing that because people always use the excuse, I'm the media.
00:16:19.000
No, this is the question the people want to know.
00:16:24.000
And that's the shit you want to say to provoke somebody to turn into a motherfucking beast.
00:16:33.000
And I'm pretty sure you don't go, like, your PR person, we're going to go in here, we're trying to promote this, nothing, that.
00:16:40.000
But when he just looked at him and said, like, you're a piece of shit.
00:16:43.000
And he realized he's, like, six feet away from one of the baddest motherfuckers that's ever lived.
00:16:48.000
Man, I started shaking because I was like, where is the tape?
00:17:00.000
He tried to fuck with him on TV, corner him, and have a gotcha moment.
00:17:06.000
And then he tried to flip it and go back to it, and Mike was like, no, I'm already pissed.
00:17:13.000
Identifying a piece of shit and distinguishing it.
00:17:16.000
Imagine being him and sitting across from that guy and the guy's all friendly with you up until that moment.
00:17:22.000
And then when the lights are on and the camera's going, then he pulls that shit on you.
00:17:32.000
It could come up, but like, maybe even like, yo, you're a brother, don't do it to me, you know?
00:17:53.000
Yeah, but it's just so good to know that, like, from having as much fame and fortune as he had, and basically to start over and reinvent yourself, and, I mean, I guess he's going to be this generation is how George Foreman was.
00:18:10.000
Well, George Foreman reinvented himself while he was fucking people up, though.
00:18:16.000
I remember when he came back, he was 36 years old.
00:18:23.000
Meanwhile, he kept losing weight, kept beating people up, kept losing weight.
00:18:27.000
And then when he fucked up Jerry Cooney, everybody was like, hey, What the fuck happened?
00:18:33.000
But he still looked like a fucking regular dude.
00:18:38.000
He had like a barrel chest, but he had these giant fucking arms.
00:18:46.000
He has some of the biggest fists you've ever seen.
00:18:59.000
Who doesn't have a goddamn George Foreman grill?
00:19:02.000
When you're like a single guy and you need to cook something quick.
00:19:11.000
It don't matter if you fucking live in a 100 square foot dorm room.
00:19:30.000
I really was expecting just a slice of Of some elk.
00:19:43.000
That's not what you know because you talked shit to me one time.
00:19:54.000
You said, well, you know, for a new guy, this is the best way to do it for your first time and if you're new to cooking.
00:20:01.000
Well, if you're new to cooking wild game, it's different.
00:20:17.000
When I was saying that you haven't cooked elk before.
00:20:20.000
I have no knowledge of whether or not you know how to cook.
00:20:28.000
All right, give me a piece of elk, and I'm going to do my elk magic to it, and I'm going to let you know.
00:20:32.000
That's without you telling me how you got to cook it slow.
00:20:48.000
It feels like you're doing some type of science project.
00:20:51.000
You know, you got to have the temperature right, make sure the app is right, and then you see this big-ass bucket of water, and then you keep putting your finger in it like, it don't feel like it's hot enough to cook this shit.
00:21:01.000
And the weird thing is you're cooking in a plastic bag.
00:21:04.000
Yeah, it almost feels like you're like a dope dealer doing that shit, man.
00:21:09.000
Not a food processor, but you have a food saver.
00:21:13.000
And you've got to have a thermometer, and you've got to do it.
00:21:17.000
You know, you can cook a steak for like five hours at 130 degrees.
00:21:21.000
God damn, that thing will just melt in your mouth.
00:21:27.000
But you gotta be in that sous vide mode because after a while you're like, man, fuck this, man.
00:21:33.000
When you take a seat, do you braise it in a skillet?
00:21:37.000
Because you still gotta get that crisp, but the texture and everything's good.
00:21:41.000
And I would think that would be something really, really good for wild game.
00:21:51.000
Wild pig is great that way too, sous vide, or barbecue.
00:21:57.000
What's the noticeable difference, the taste of it or the texture of it?
00:22:06.000
I mean, you're eating like a fucking thing that can run up hills.
00:22:14.000
They don't use those muscles very much, and so that's why it's all mushy and tender.
00:22:19.000
It's more tough, but it's not too tough, especially like I'll give you good cuts like a tri-tip is nice, you know, or a backstrap is the best.
00:22:32.000
Yeah, I roasted it like 250 degrees, then I sear it on the outside after it's done.
00:22:35.000
See, you got to keep telling me your process, bro.
00:22:48.000
The most competitive people always say, yo, yo.
00:22:55.000
But I've been training for eight months to not be in the competition with you.
00:23:01.000
Healthy competition, then you got fucked up competition.
00:23:10.000
But he went through a stomach stapling operation and he couldn't eat meat for a while.
00:23:15.000
I think he just blew through the staples after a while.
00:23:26.000
I wonder what sandwich he was eating to make you.
00:23:33.000
After you get past the 8 inches, you blew past the staples at 12 inches.
00:23:37.000
Like whenever a famous person dies from Coke, they're like, oh, this is the Coke that killed that dude.
00:23:45.000
Who's the dude who played for the Celtics who died of a heart attack?
00:23:51.000
I remember everybody was like, this is the shit that killed Len Bias.
00:23:59.000
That was such a tragic story because I'm from the D.C. area.
00:24:06.000
And then especially like when somebody, especially in the black community, if you got generation to generations of projects and welfare and everything, if one person busts through, it's like a whole bunch of motherfuckers.
00:24:19.000
And it's unfortunate sometimes because that's kind of the downfall for a lot of people's finances.
00:24:23.000
But you feel like I got the whole family and everybody gets excited.
00:24:29.000
And for him not even to ever play a game, that's just awful, man.
00:24:34.000
Well, there's so many people dropping dead now from fentanyl.
00:24:42.000
Oh, so that's one of those doctors prescribed drugs.
00:25:01.000
A lot of times they get it in something else and they don't know.
00:25:08.000
Like Artie Lang was telling me that he accidentally had it in Coke and he didn't even know it until he took Suboxone and he was sick for like a week.
00:25:26.000
Peacefully after an 18-month battle with cancer.
00:25:38.000
Yeah, I don't know too much about fentanyls and Oxycontins and all that type of shit.
00:25:46.000
It's like a lot of times people start off, they get a back injury.
00:25:49.000
You know, you get hurt on the job or go lifting weights or something like that.
00:25:55.000
The doctor hooks you up with some Oxycontin and you can't get off that shit.
00:25:58.000
The only time I did it, I had surgery on my knee.
00:26:01.000
I tore my patella, trying to dunk on an eight-foot basketball rim, trying to impress some kids.
00:26:06.000
And you know, I was like, oh man, I'm not taking no painkillers.
00:26:13.000
Man, I laid down that first fucking night and that fucking blood started hitting that wound.
00:26:22.000
I could finally realize the lyrics in most of these trap songs when I was high off that shit.
00:26:28.000
So I'm like, this is what designer was saying all this time.
00:26:38.000
I mean, I can't see because I've never been addicted to anything like that, but it's just weird to see people that want to be in that state of mind all the time.
00:26:47.000
Yeah, I think a lot of the people were sexually abused or physically abused.
00:26:59.000
They gave me a drip while I was in the hospital.
00:27:04.000
So it was instant as soon as you felt the pain?
00:27:13.000
But I think for a lot of people that get addicted to it, at least as it's been explained to me, a lot of them are suffering from physical abuse, sexual abuse, and there's a thing about morphine or heroin that gives you like a womb feeling like you're protected, you're safe, everything's okay.
00:27:29.000
Well, they say heroin is supposed to make you feel like that.
00:27:33.000
I played a heroin addict on HBO's The Corner years ago.
00:27:38.000
And I was trying to figure out, like, how do I get my mind set to be high?
00:27:50.000
I'm like, what could they possibly be thinking about to take them into this world?
00:27:55.000
And the way I relate to it, I was like, they're probably thinking about, it takes them to a place when they were feeling younger.
00:28:03.000
It just takes them away from the real world and just feel like zombies stay just floating.
00:28:09.000
Yeah, just floating like that umbilical cord, fluid, embryonic fluid just in the womb.
00:28:20.000
Well, sometimes people just feel so overwhelmed by life, so overwhelmed by pressure and stress and bills and relationships and jobs and this and that.
00:28:33.000
The biggest thing now, people talking about, the biggest thing in the news everywhere is mental illness.
00:28:40.000
It's been there forever, but people just cope with it different.
00:28:44.000
I know in my community, and they say black people especially don't address mental issues.
00:28:59.000
But everybody has mental issues, but how do we cope with it?
00:29:07.000
There's no way you're going to get through this life without some mental struggle.
00:29:11.000
It's not possible, because if you just sit around and do nothing, you'll be filled with angst.
00:29:22.000
And the person that don't have struggle, them motherfuckers are probably that close to being suicidal.
00:29:27.000
People that hide it are the ones that go first.
00:29:31.000
You know, like having a lot of people around you that you love.
00:29:39.000
I think one of the real problems with people that just doesn't feel fixable is when they feel alone.
00:29:53.000
They just feel like nobody gives a fuck about them whether they live or die.
00:29:56.000
And that's one of the saddest feelings I think you could have.
00:30:05.000
Don't have that one person that they can confide in.
00:30:12.000
If you don't have anyone in your life, you don't have anybody that's telling you the truth or lying.
00:30:17.000
And there's a lot of people out there that are real lonely that only exist on the internet.
00:30:22.000
The internet is the most fabricated, lonely place in the world.
00:30:32.000
Like, especially what we do is, like, you feel like you need it.
00:30:35.000
But then after a while, this shit is just so fucking overwhelming.
00:30:41.000
And it's so easy for a person to carve out the perfect life.
00:30:45.000
People will tell you, like, oh, my God, I thought you was having so much fun on vacation, this and that.
00:30:50.000
You know how fucking many takes it takes to get that perfect picture?
00:30:54.000
To show everybody that your life is the fucking bomb.
00:30:59.000
It's just not an accurate representative of anybody's life.
00:31:03.000
And that's where everybody wants to show their lives.
00:31:10.000
I won't say on the street, but this is an average woman.
00:31:12.000
If you tell them that I want to take you on a vacation, anywhere in the world you want to go, But you can't bring a phone.
00:31:21.000
You know what half of the motherfuckers would say?
00:31:26.000
Because nobody wants to have a memory and share memory just from the memory they have.
00:31:34.000
They want people to get the thumbs up and everything.
00:31:39.000
When I first started doing those shows where they lock your phones up, I was like the first comic going on stage.
00:31:45.000
And the first comic going on stage in front of a room with everybody's phones locked up, they get in the heat.
00:31:55.000
I've seen people trying to bite them shits open.
00:32:00.000
I've seen motherfuckers answer, answer, try to answer the phone.
00:32:06.000
And it feels weird at the beginning, but then after a while, it gets to a point where it feels kind of cool.
00:32:21.000
You know, I realized it when I went to Comedy Works in Denver.
00:32:24.000
They were the first place I ever went to that locked up phones.
00:32:31.000
You know, I wish people would just put their phones away, but they don't want to.
00:32:39.000
You gotta always show people what you're doing every second.
00:32:47.000
I want to see somebody with an Instagram that looks at your fucked up life.
00:32:53.000
See how many likes you get for your life being fucked up.
00:32:59.000
Bologna and cheese sandwiches for dinner and shit.
00:33:04.000
Not the fucking, oh my god, best life, yacht life, living my best life.
00:33:09.000
Yeah, but it's that thrill of showing everybody that you're killing it.
00:33:16.000
They try to do well to show people they're doing well.
00:33:23.000
But then, on the other side of it, you want people to see you doing good things.
00:33:28.000
Because people want to follow your momentum, and people want to ride with your journey.
00:33:33.000
And there's not too many of us, like, you probably, there's not too many people that are like, Like, can live a social media free life and still make money doing entertainment.
00:33:45.000
He's one of the only people that I know that does it.
00:33:47.000
But he's so intelligent about that kind of shit.
00:33:51.000
He doesn't engage in other people's opinions of him.
00:34:02.000
Anything social media, whatever, he wanted to see through my phone and shit.
00:34:16.000
Somebody getting ran over by a car or some shit.
00:34:24.000
But anything that's dealing with pop culture and stuff like that, I'm usually like the guy that brings him into it.
00:34:40.000
And I was saying to myself, I was freaking out, because you know if you lose a fucking phone, the minute you do the pocket check, you do like all four pockets, and the first thing you say is, fuck.
00:34:50.000
And the worst thing is a person that's going, when you're going out with a group of people, and a person losing a phone just ruined the whole fucking night.
00:34:56.000
Yeah, because then you got to go fucking search for it, turn around, go back.
00:35:05.000
And I told myself, I was like, fuck, because I got the...
00:35:09.000
iCloud and shit now, so it's not as fucking tragic as it used to be.
00:35:14.000
Like, if you lose your phone, you're losing pictures of your kid being born and all this stuff.
00:35:18.000
And I lost the phone, and I was like, fuck, I just lost one like four months ago.
00:35:22.000
I lost the fucking phone, and I was like, you know what, Donnie?
00:35:24.000
You can't let your phone fucking regulate your life like that.
00:35:33.000
And I woke up, and the first thing I wanted to know was what time it was, right?
00:35:38.000
And I didn't even think to look at a watch or anything.
00:35:50.000
Ari Shafir went without a phone for four months.
00:36:04.000
Yeah, you just don't have a minimum wage job and just leave your phone for four months.
00:36:14.000
But what's crazy is this is a real recent thing.
00:36:17.000
Smartphones are only since 2000 and what, Jamie?
00:36:30.000
Before that, it was like flip phones and not everybody had them.
00:36:33.000
And then 10 years before that, nobody had them.
00:36:39.000
Because we look at it as a phone, but nobody uses it for the phone feature.
00:36:45.000
Only people who leave voice messages are people over 45. Joey Diaz calls you.
00:36:51.000
He's over 45. He likes to call, but he likes to talk.
00:36:55.000
He goes, I want to know what the fuck your voice sounds like.
00:37:02.000
He knows somebody might hack your shit, but Joey Diaz is probably the only person that...
00:37:17.000
You know how you get in your little zone at the comedy store, like, who's next, right?
00:37:21.000
It was so funny because I was up next, and Joy was like, who's next?
00:37:29.000
He's got a special coming out on Netflix, Degenerates.
00:37:40.000
I was like, that was the most clever way to call me the N-word I've ever heard, man.
00:38:11.000
I said I've been fucking his name up for a year and a half.
00:38:15.000
I can't say Fahim Namwa or whatever for nothing.
00:38:18.000
He calls UFC lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov.
00:38:37.000
And then this is after he just fucking dismantled the room and shit.
00:38:40.000
Now like, I mean, how the fuck am I getting to my next joke?
00:38:49.000
There's nobody like him and there'll never be anybody.
00:38:54.000
You got certain people that, you know, and I'm not wishing bad anything on Joe, but that just live forever.
00:39:04.000
And then you'll have stories, especially this is what I respect.
00:39:06.000
You know, as long as you have people that have been doing comedy for years and years, right?
00:39:16.000
The only time they come out is like, okay, I talked to my accountant.
00:39:18.000
It's time to go out and make a couple million and get it, but they're not out there.
00:39:21.000
And that's one of the things that I really respect about him is that you see somebody that's been ripping, not like a year, their whole career, and still you can feel the passion.
00:39:49.000
The response they get, they enjoy getting better.
00:39:53.000
They enjoy ripping the stage up for the next person to have to rip the stage up.
00:39:58.000
They really enjoy the skill set and what it takes to be a great stand.
00:40:06.000
You know how some people, you can just watch them.
00:40:09.000
Even if you know something you heard is going to come on, it's going to be something, some nuance that they do to make it different from the last time.
00:40:17.000
Well, what Joey does, too, is he gets in the pit.
00:40:19.000
He gets in there with 15 comics on a Tuesday night.
00:40:26.000
Those spots are big when it's you doing 15 and another dude doing 15. And no one's there to see you.
00:40:32.000
And you're there working with guys like you, guys like Chris D'Elia, guys like whoever that's just jammed up with talented comics.
00:40:44.000
Motherfuckers, you see a group of whack comics, like birds of a feather flock together.
00:40:54.000
If you're around a whack comic all the time, you never test it.
00:40:58.000
Do you ever see those nights when people, everybody is bombing?
00:41:03.000
It's so bad that motherfuckers have bomb material ready.
00:41:20.000
But in a spot like that, in a spot like that, the comedy store, motherfuckers go hard.
00:41:25.000
Some people also, they get to a certain point where they have an audience and then they just work for that audience.
00:41:30.000
And they know that people are going to come see them because the people like them.
00:41:39.000
That's why I do when I go, whenever I go, like I came up through the Chitlin circuit, whenever I'm in Brooklyn and I slide through Philly, you know, on the black comedy circuit, everybody has these rooms, you know what I'm saying?
00:41:49.000
And as much as we get big where people say they don't do anymore, I like to do them because it just really knows, I really know The climate, and I know what I'm working with.
00:42:01.000
The rooms like that, they challenge you because it's taking you out, like you say, your comfort zone.
00:42:07.000
I've been blessed enough lately to, when I go do my comedy shows and people buy a ticket from me, it's usually some good people.
00:42:15.000
But every once in a while, I want to go in the hoodest spot ever and see if I still got it.
00:42:21.000
Yeah, you know that expression, don't forget what got you to the dance?
00:42:26.000
It's like what made you a great comic in the first place is being tested like that.
00:42:32.000
Motherfuckers do not want to deal with a defining moment.
00:42:35.000
Motherfuckers don't want to deal with that moment where you did 45 minutes, you gassed out, and you get that stretch sign.
00:42:41.000
They say stretch, we don't have the checks up, whatever, we need you to do another 15 minutes.
00:42:47.000
A defining moment where you're working at, what is that dome we did?
00:42:53.000
And motherfucking Joe Rogan just comes and just bazooka torches the whole motherfucking arena and shit.
00:43:01.000
I don't know if I've ever shared that story, but that fucking day was so dope for me when we did that.
00:43:09.000
And I know that was your crowd, your energy, like, like, Joe, Joe, Joe.
00:43:15.000
And just to be in that room, I remember when you was on stage and I was kind of getting my head together.
00:43:40.000
I was like, oh, you better do some push-ups, motherfucker.
00:43:45.000
But that was a fucking, that was a great moment, man.
00:43:51.000
It felt like I was at fucking one of UFC fights and shit, man.
00:43:58.000
And Dave was about to go on stage, and he looked at me, and he goes, not a whole lot of motherfuckers get to do shit like this.
00:44:10.000
It's something when you say, okay, it's a level.
00:44:16.000
And then when he came out, man, it felt like we was walking Tyson into the ring.
00:44:22.000
That song, if you know, you know that Pusha T song.
00:44:26.000
And it was just like, that night was like, I mean, pandemonium, bro.
00:44:31.000
And those nights, the funny thing about it, people see that and they see you in front of 24,000, 25,000 people.
00:44:39.000
But what people don't understand is all those nights stacked up of doing 15 minutes here, working out this shit.
00:44:48.000
Because people see you do these arenas, these amphitheaters.
00:44:56.000
I'm like, damn, don't this nigga got enough money right now?
00:45:02.000
And it's all about, it's just something very addictive about constantly training to be prepared for anything and to be better.
00:45:10.000
My lady's sometimes like, you going out tonight?
00:45:22.000
And even if it's a set I'm working on and I do the same thing, it's just something that's just such a rush about going on stage.
00:45:36.000
Because a joke never ends, you just stop telling it.
00:45:40.000
Some people are like, yo, where'd you get that from?
00:45:43.000
Because you know, the comedians mindset, people are like, write that down, write that down.
00:45:48.000
Just thinking about how dope we would be if we wrote everything down.
00:45:53.000
He goes to a hard drive, and you might have thought of something funny, like this year, then next year, you might have never talked about it, then next year, something that happened, and then it'll come up from that hard drive, and boom, you got a banging ass fucking bit.
00:46:06.000
And if you don't go on stage, that won't blossom.
00:46:15.000
Pleasant, California over the weekend at the Tommy T's.
00:46:23.000
About four years I put him on stage and he didn't really do well the first time he went on stage.
00:46:32.000
And then he tells me he wants to do comedy, right?
00:46:48.000
And I've been writing, I've been working on my material and everything.
00:47:08.000
And I told him, I was like, maybe this is not for you.
00:47:12.000
I was like, you don't need to talk for me, motherfucker.
00:47:16.000
Either you're going to do it or you're not going to do it.
00:47:26.000
I just don't know how something could be that intimidating.
00:47:35.000
But you don't want to do the most important thing a comedy has to do and go on stage.
00:47:40.000
It's scary for people, especially if it's a packed crowd.
00:47:43.000
They know they're there to see you, so they're there to see the pro, and they know their material's kind of whack.
00:48:28.000
I worked with him on something a couple years ago.
00:48:33.000
And he keeps fucking calling me for projects, but he's so fucking cool.
00:48:38.000
When we were doing, because people have been, when we did this show called Hollyweed, Right?
00:48:46.000
It was a funny-ass pilot, and it was part of this rivet TV. They had this process where a lot of people do pilots that never get greenlit.
00:48:56.000
They play the pilot, and then you pledge, if you want to get the pilot, the green light.
00:49:15.000
We just stopped it, but he was so fucking cool.
00:49:19.000
When we did Hollywood, when he sat down and talked to me, he said, Donnell, I'm at a point in my life, I'm at a stage in my life where I'm not going to do anything unless it's fun and it's what I want to do.
00:49:46.000
And then the second or third time we hung out, he started smoking weed.
00:50:07.000
And I know his strand is like a hybrid sativa strand.
00:50:10.000
Yeah, but it was just interesting to know him before when he wasn't smoking.
00:50:29.000
When we were working on Hollywood, we got up to three other scripts, and I would just go up there and just chill, and I'm like, I can't believe.
00:50:36.000
I'm chilling with Kevin Smith, smoking a joint, and we're just talking, and the motherfucking...
00:50:55.000
To create a brand that could last for fucking 20, 25 years?
00:51:03.000
Did you ever see that movie Red State that he did?
00:51:09.000
It was so strange because he didn't tell me anything about it.
00:51:19.000
It's like it's a horror suspense thriller movie.
00:51:34.000
I mean, people like that, you know, somewhere deep down inside, they're like, I want to do something fucking different from what people know me from, you know?
00:51:44.000
But once you get into something, you get into a groove and you're getting a brand and you're known for something you make money of, why would you, you know, a lot of times, why would you roll the dice?
00:51:56.000
He had a thought in his head to do this kind of movie.
00:52:15.000
He was the first director of the first season of the Chappelle Show.
00:52:22.000
It's so weird because you know him as crazy dude, right?
00:52:27.000
And just to see his demeanor away from that, you're just waiting for him to have an outburst.
00:52:31.000
But Bobcat was the first season director of Chappelle Show.
00:52:39.000
And the funny thing with him, with me, he liked me.
00:52:44.000
But he said my name wrong every time he said something about me.
00:52:53.000
I was like, after the fourth one, I was like, this gotta be racist, sir.
00:52:57.000
He just named everything with a D. That was my name.
00:53:00.000
But he was the first director of the Chappelle show before Rusty Kondorf took over.
00:53:32.000
I knew he was a good actor when I talked to him and him not being a character from Police Academy.
00:53:38.000
Because that, you know, not too many characters you ever see that when you see their face, you want to hear a certain voice.
00:53:47.000
He had a hard time with that when he started doing stand-up.
00:53:51.000
You know, he had done that Bobcat character forever, and then he started directing stuff.
00:54:06.000
Man, he used to do interviews and just blaze it.
00:54:13.000
Robin Williams used to do interviews like that.
00:54:23.000
I mean, he's got sort of an explanation that makes sense.
00:54:30.000
And he didn't realize what a big deal it was going to be.
00:54:39.000
When he was doing stand-up again, he wanted to just be himself.
00:54:48.000
That's a tough thing to pull away from, especially if it's like...
00:54:51.000
You know, if it's how you're paying your bills, you know what I mean?
00:54:55.000
It's like, who are we going to get the crazy dude?
00:54:59.000
A lot of people can't pull themselves out of it.
00:55:01.000
A lot of people can't reinvent themselves like that.
00:55:03.000
Like, if you're Gallagher, like, everybody expects fruit.
00:55:13.000
Yo, people like that have weird, weird, crazy fetishes and shit, bro.
00:55:18.000
It's like he fucks with watermelons and then he likes looking at naked goats and shit.
00:55:28.000
Anytime you see Gallagher, you're going to think watermelon for the rest of your life.
00:55:33.000
You're going to think everybody's covered in plastic.
00:55:42.000
When I was with Chapelle Show and I used to pitch ideas, and they used to just throw my ideas like, pop, get that shit out of here.
00:55:51.000
Yeah, and then the guy gonna come down, then the dude gonna come, and then somebody gonna have a hat on, right?
00:55:55.000
Then they gonna come and they gonna shoot him, and then he used to be like this, pop!
00:56:07.000
One day, I was watching Comedy Central, and Gallagher was on.
00:56:11.000
And for some reason, Gallagher looked like Dave Chappelle to me.
00:56:15.000
And I was thinking, because Dave liked skateboards and shit, I'd say in his skates.
00:56:19.000
And I just said, and of course I was smoking a joint, I said, what if Gallagher was black?
00:56:35.000
And then I called Neil Brennan and I said, I got an idea.
00:56:50.000
Dude, you were on, without a doubt, the greatest sketch show in the history of the world.
00:57:02.000
I mean, obviously, Saturday Night Live has been around forever.
00:57:15.000
I don't even know what thought process you gotta have to even...
00:57:20.000
When that sketch is going on, you're watching it go on.
00:57:26.000
It felt like when that sketch dropped, bro, when that sketch dropped, when that sketch dropped, I was like, oh, shit.
00:57:39.000
It's like one of the funniest things that's ever been captured on film.
00:57:53.000
And he just running around thinking he's fucking white as shit.
00:57:57.000
And that shit still stays in fucking pop culture.
00:58:08.000
His Rick James was one of the greatest sketches of all time.
00:58:12.000
I remember when we were doing the wraparounds, when you show the sketch to the audience, and they played the Rick James sketch, and every time we played it, the room just exploded.
00:58:33.000
No one ever knew that it would go to the extent that it went, but you just knew something was big in that moment.
00:58:40.000
Dude, there was a moment where people would just yell out, I'm rich, bitch.
00:58:58.000
A crazy impact, if you really stop and think about it.
00:59:03.000
It's amazing that someone, somehow or another, through whatever, didn't keep that going.
00:59:26.000
That's how I felt when he did SNL a couple years ago.
00:59:29.000
You know, I was like, it's like, that show is past, as in a lot of, everybody's doing different things, you know what I mean?
00:59:34.000
But the show was so, the show was just so iconic, it's hard to forget about it.
00:59:39.000
But it was like, when we did SNL, when he did the Walking Dead spoof, when he did, Jamie, did you see that sketch?
01:00:04.000
When this scene right here, man, I was saying to myself, this shit is...
01:00:10.000
Like, because I hadn't seen him perform as a character actor since the Chappelle show.
01:00:22.000
They won an Emmy for, like, you know, they have a little special category, like a special, like a comedy special.
01:00:31.000
Not the premier Emmys, but you know the ones I'm talking about?
01:00:46.000
That's like one of the most brutal scenes in all of television.
01:00:54.000
The first episode out, too, of the season, right?
01:01:16.000
And if it was any glimpse of what it would be...
01:01:22.000
Well, you know, I mean, again, when you talk about all-time sketches, shit, it was fun, man.
01:01:38.000
I would say probably 50 episodes, maybe, if that.
01:01:49.000
And another part, not even the sketches, the music, that would be a fucking dope-ass fucking show just to show the guests.
01:02:00.000
Kanye, Young Kanye, Common, Erykah Badu, everybody used to stop through.
01:02:11.000
Do you think he's happier doing that or he's happier doing stand-up?
01:02:17.000
He shares a similar personality that you shared and I shared, that Joey Diaz shared, that want to be on stage, want to perform as a stand-up.
01:02:29.000
I don't think it's important for him to be on TV. I think it's important for him to be the best comedian he could be.
01:02:43.000
You know how you feel when you think you're working at the top of your game.
01:02:47.000
You just hope everybody acknowledges it at the same time.
01:02:50.000
I think also, too, he did it and now he doesn't have anybody to answer to.
01:02:59.000
Still, in my opinion, I think it's the greatest sketch comedy show of all time.
01:03:05.000
It's hard not to talk about him because he's what some people consider the greatest to ever do it.
01:03:14.000
You're not exploiting it, but it's just interesting.
01:03:18.000
I've seen his career go to the point where, and this is why I said the last special he did, Sticks and Stones, was so important for comedy.
01:03:45.000
And there was a comic, I won't mention their name, but they wrote a critical article about Dave in Sticks and Stones.
01:03:55.000
And the thing that I found interesting was that they were a comedian.
01:04:00.000
Writing a critical article, which is all fucked up right out the gate.
01:04:05.000
And I feel if you, as a comedian, if you don't know what specials, like Sticks to Stone special, and like what Bill Burr special, what they do for the voice of comedy, it's saying, this is what we do, that's it, stop.
01:04:20.000
Well, it seems like the expectations, cultural expectations of how we shouldn't, shouldn't talk about things, They're shifting so quickly.
01:04:29.000
And people demand compliance for you to behave a certain way.
01:04:34.000
But our profession, this is not a profession to comply in.
01:04:44.000
I think we should just be all nicer to each other.
01:04:48.000
I think this compliance is something that people, because they think they're right, They think they're going to enforce their idea on people, but it's like the worst way to talk to people because they immediately resist it.
01:05:14.000
No, it has nothing to do about who dick you suck or any of that.
01:05:30.000
Yo, just what is so hard, Joe, about being nice?
01:05:47.000
I think people's disagreements are far less than we think they are.
01:05:55.000
There's a fucking team thing that happens with people.
01:05:57.000
And we're seeing in this country right now, when it comes to like ideology, are you on the right or are you on the left?
01:06:11.000
Whatever side you're on, just fucking be nice about it.
01:06:19.000
I mean, it seems like we've gotten worse instead of better at the two sides talking to each other.
01:06:37.000
And then there was another guy I met, he was a White House correspondent, right?
01:06:42.000
And I'm in this party, and I'm talking both sides, right?
01:06:50.000
I'm having a drink with this motherfucker, and I'm having a drink with this motherfucker.
01:06:53.000
I'm doing a shot with him, doing a shot with him.
01:06:56.000
And even though your sides differ, You don't have to be nasty.
01:07:06.000
I think people have gotten to these weird positions of just constantly interacting with people in negative ways.
01:07:16.000
And then we think that this is a country divided.
01:07:19.000
I don't think it's as divided as everybody thinks it is.
01:07:24.000
You have a guy who's your guy, and your guy gets voted in, and you get excited about it, and you go against the people who their woman or their guy didn't get voted in, and you have this little conflict with each other.
01:07:40.000
It's just dangerous because you're basing it on a team thing.
01:07:44.000
The problem is having a fucking president in the first place, having government in the first place.
01:07:49.000
We seem like we need it, but the problem is having anybody that's got control like that, any one person of extreme power.
01:07:57.000
It doesn't seem like it should be a thing anymore.
01:07:59.000
It seems like a thing we should have figured out was a problem a long fucking time ago.
01:08:03.000
But I don't think we would have been in a place where we feel like somebody with that power is abusing it.
01:08:10.000
Because, like, there's no way to deny some of the things that Donald Trump have done for America, some of the things he's done for the black community.
01:08:21.000
You can see that one of the stats is the lowest unemployment, whatever.
01:08:27.000
It's just if a motherfucker want to go get a job or not.
01:08:33.000
Do they provide government jobs, or do they open up avenues for businesses, make it easier for businesses to succeed?
01:08:40.000
I think it's businesses, and I think you've got to create a certain mindset.
01:08:44.000
Right, but when someone says, like, we added jobs, I wonder how you make that direct connection between their policies.
01:08:49.000
I don't think that, I think you inspired people.
01:08:55.000
You could be like, I don't know, a little language like, hey, we've been hiring.
01:09:00.000
We're starting to hire down at the coal mine or whatever.
01:09:03.000
You can inspire people to get jobs that are already there.
01:09:07.000
One of the things I really hate is that almost everybody feels like they have to get into these ideological arguments right now.
01:09:18.000
That's what I don't understand about motherfuckers when it comes to Trump.
01:09:21.000
How are y'all motherfuckers still letting him make you mad?
01:09:24.000
Like, like, yo, I'm telling you, son, sometimes I wake up, I'm on CNN, I'm like, okay, we get it.
01:09:35.000
I mean, I don't understand how people keep getting mad about the same shit.
01:09:39.000
You know a person's character, you know how you think they feel about them, and you continue to let them make you mad.
01:09:49.000
Well, everybody knew who he was before we got in there, too.
01:10:06.000
I know I sound like a moron to anybody who understands economics, but I've always heard that there's basically patterns that they can almost predict where economies rise and fall.
01:10:17.000
And a lot of it is based on policies they enact, but a lot of it is based on just things that have natural cycles to them almost.
01:10:28.000
Because of things that a president did, and then this new president catches the wave.
01:10:34.000
Yeah, but that was the case, and that's the case with...
01:10:38.000
That's the case with Obama and his shit to Trump and everything.
01:10:43.000
He won Fair and Scare, however you want to feel about it.
01:10:49.000
The motherfucker won with people getting upset.
01:10:58.000
People getting angry because somebody chose to vote for somebody.
01:11:06.000
In my lifetime, it seems like this is the most polarizing people are versus Trump supporters or not supporters.
01:11:27.000
Most of us are wasting a lot of fucking energy.
01:11:29.000
Man, if you can't correct it, if you don't know who the next Superman is going to be, just shut the fuck up about it.
01:11:41.000
Mayor Bloomberg said, man, he looked at the field and said, fuck.
01:12:04.000
People are saying people want to take away people's guns and people saying they'll fight to keep their guns.
01:12:13.000
A lot of my friends don't even know the argument of guns.
01:12:15.000
Because when we see a gun, it's never in a place where it's a gun law.
01:12:21.000
The first time I went to Ohio, bro, and I was going to department stores and shit, and they had signs outside that said, no guns allowed.
01:12:36.000
Motherfuckers have guns where you have to tell them not to bring them in here?
01:12:42.000
There's certain places we have, like Arizona, I think, is an open carry state.
01:13:00.000
Are you happy with this crazy armed society where everybody's nice because everybody's got a gun on them at all times?
01:13:13.000
Yeah, and I don't even know if that's really needed as much as you have the right to do it.
01:13:18.000
You know, some people just, they love to exercise their right to bear arms.
01:13:23.000
You have the right to bear arms, but you don't have to bear an arm.
01:13:32.000
They want to polish them and clean them and they want to add new ones to their collection and bang, bang, bang.
01:13:54.000
Going to a range and shooting metal targets is fun.
01:13:58.000
It's something where it could, conceivably, in this life, it's possible.
01:14:05.000
And it's happened to other people where you had to save your life with a gun.
01:14:17.000
But it seems to be true that sometimes people do break into people's houses and sometimes those people defend themselves.
01:14:24.000
I wish nobody broke into anybody's fucking house.
01:14:27.000
And I wish nobody had to shoot anybody that broke into their house.
01:14:34.000
We can't deny that people have saved their lives with guns.
01:14:38.000
And we can't deny also that, I know this sounds crazy too, and this is how black people look at guns.
01:14:43.000
A lot of black people have lost their lives to guns.
01:14:46.000
And they've lost their lives to guns with people of authority.
01:14:52.000
So when it comes to guns with black people, I can't speak for everybody, but that's a really strong place where the distress in the whole system of a gun...
01:15:19.000
And he still, at the end of the day, was the victim of what people can consider to be an overzealous police officer, an unqualified police officer, or untrained police officer.
01:15:34.000
And the other side of black people see guns is they use it to commit crimes themselves.
01:15:42.000
When you talk about gun, even when you're saying you're talking about the way that people know the NRA, they know gun laws, half the motherfuckers in these different states don't even know how easy it is to be able to have a gun.
01:15:57.000
Dave Chappelle said it, and it was a funny joke, and it means a lot.
01:16:01.000
He said, you really want to change the gun laws?
01:16:05.000
Have every black person in Ohio register to have a gun and see how quick the gun laws would change then.
01:16:15.000
You see all these niggas with guns, they'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we gotta do something about this shit, man.
01:16:20.000
That's the only way I can see you can effectively change it.
01:16:26.000
Arguments on the whole thought of guns with different people.
01:16:35.000
But then you've got to ask yourself, what environment are you living in where you have to actually...
01:16:42.000
Where you have to actually protect yourself and where you live where there's a chance that...
01:16:49.000
You could be in a parking lot and your Walmart car bumps the car and next thing you know it's a shootout.
01:17:16.000
Wouldn't it be better if we just didn't do that?
01:17:20.000
If people didn't ever put themselves in a position where you were going to have to shoot them.
01:17:30.000
Yeah, I don't want to be in a situation where someone had to think about shooting me.
01:17:44.000
There's places where people are stuck in these crime-ridden environments and it doesn't seem like there's any way out.
01:17:55.000
Yeah, they either got to get out or you can't go there.
01:17:58.000
And you can go there sometimes, but after a while you have to show people another side.
01:18:12.000
You said it before, people make excuses, but eventually, you gotta say to yourself, what can I really do to change the cycle?
01:18:22.000
What do you think anybody could do to change the cycle?
01:18:24.000
Like, when you see impoverished neighborhoods that are the same way from the 1970s as they are in 2019, how do you fix that?
01:18:49.000
You have to show them something that they don't.
01:18:57.000
Those people that have made it, they really got to really care and get involved.
01:19:04.000
They got to be able to see something different because most kids in the city, whatever, they dream about it.
01:19:11.000
And then when a couple make through, when a couple people do good, we don't put the energy into supporting them.
01:19:18.000
And recreating them, we put the energy into other stupid shit, opposed to actually honoring this, a person that broke through, a politician.
01:19:41.000
Yeah, people need to think that they've got hope, and that's...
01:19:46.000
If you're in a spot where you're stuck in a crime-ridden community, that's probably the worst place you could be as a young person in this country.
01:20:02.000
How often is that addressed when they talk about, like, if someone talks about running for government?
01:20:08.000
Has anybody ever had a real feasible idea how to fix that?
01:20:12.000
How to, like, take all these impoverished inner-city communities that we know have been crime-ridden for decades and stop it?
01:20:26.000
How much money would it take to take one city, Detroit, impoverished communities in Detroit and bring it up?
01:20:38.000
How much would it cost to have counseling and guidance and a positive community?
01:20:42.000
Foster a positive community with people that are professional psychologists and It's tough.
01:21:07.000
A lot of it don't exist, but it's got to start at...
01:21:35.000
And it's like, I don't even know, how do you address the mindset of parents?
01:21:40.000
Or some people aren't supposed to be parents, but that's where everything starts.
01:21:47.000
Some people had parents that were unqualified to have them, and then they became unqualified to have their own parents.
01:21:52.000
And whether or not they should or shouldn't be responsible, we can all agree they should be responsible.
01:21:58.000
Those kids, a lot of times, are the ones that get fucked over in life.
01:22:03.000
But if there was some way, some way through some sort of a community program to ensure that these kids always had a place that felt like a community, felt like family, they can go there, it's safe.
01:22:13.000
There's always somebody there that can handle them and take care of them.
01:22:16.000
But man, motherfuckers gotta get rid of the mentality of fucking their own shit up, man.
01:22:21.000
That's one thing they fuck their own shit up sometimes, man.
01:22:24.000
Like, everything you're saying, like Nipsey Hussle, the rapper that passed away, that was well-respected in hip-hop, all across the board, he was an example of everything that you're saying.
01:22:39.000
He was an example of everything that you said he was doing, getting people up on their finances.
01:22:44.000
He had a realty company out of the Marathon clothing shopping mall he had.
01:22:51.000
He employed people that came out of prison, people that didn't have a fair shake in life.
01:23:02.000
He was trying to explain to people how important it is to have business, buy property.
01:23:10.000
So all the property he brought around, he knew how much it was going to be worth.
01:23:13.000
Then he tried to pass that knowledge on to a lot of people.
01:23:30.000
He came from a place where people was comparing him to Snoop Dogg right out the gate.
01:23:46.000
He's letting people see his motherfucking life.
01:23:49.000
And with all that said, in his parking lot, in his hood, another nigga shot him to death.
01:24:05.000
That type of shit make me be frustrated about being black sometimes.
01:24:12.000
And then, you wonder why people say this about you.
01:24:20.000
Needs to check motherfuckers and get garbage and rodents and roaches like that motherfucker out of here.
01:24:31.000
As much as we trying to figure out the problem, as much as we can put a million people in a fucking room and write, okay, this legislation, blah, [...
01:24:44.000
Man, if motherfuckers don't stop fucking their own shit up, ain't nobody ever going to fucking care.
01:24:50.000
What's the biggest place in the world that we've tried to rebuild?
01:24:57.000
I mean, have they really tried to rebuild Iraq?
01:25:01.000
I know very little about how much money has really been pumped in.
01:25:06.000
I know it's been an extraordinary amount, but how much money do you think has been pumped into like Iraq?
01:25:12.000
There was that protest going on there last week.
01:25:14.000
I thought we were supposed to be pulling out of Iraq.
01:25:36.000
It was like, what if they just cut that money in half?
01:25:38.000
Whatever they're doing over there and just put it all in places like Detroit, Chicago, any place that's overrun with crime and violence.
01:25:46.000
If they put the kind of money that they put into other countries.
01:25:49.000
Yeah, they do, but I think America thinks like this, okay, what is my investment?
01:25:54.000
They'll give it up, but what do they get out of in return?
01:25:57.000
More successful people contribute more to the society.
01:26:01.000
The more successful people we have, if we're a community, we all agree, the United States is a community.
01:26:07.000
If we're all a community, we'd be better served, all of us would be, if more people were successful, if more people were doing well.
01:26:16.000
There's a drain when people aren't doing as well.
01:26:20.000
Yes, it's education, it's inspiration, it's people showing you, guiding you, people showing you the steps that you can take, people that have done those steps themselves.
01:26:28.000
There's a lot of people out there that can do that.
01:26:30.000
I think, and it's a movement, man, because a couple of my friends, DJ Envy and Cesar, Envy's on the radio, Cesar's a real estate guy, and they've been out really trying to Educate people on the importance of creating generational wealth,
01:26:48.000
real estate, and just being a different person.
01:26:55.000
We need someone who understands what it is we're talking about to sort of help us and guide us through.
01:26:59.000
And as comics, we all are silent mentors to each other.
01:27:03.000
Because, like, you'll ask a guy, how'd you set that up?
01:27:12.000
It's so interesting you said that with the mentor.
01:27:16.000
He's out of Washington, D.C. That's a great name.
01:27:25.000
Back then, like, he was a black comic that was mainstream.
01:27:28.000
He'd do the black rooms and he'd do white rooms.
01:27:32.000
Richard Pryor said it was one of his favorite comedians.
01:27:34.000
In fact, Doctor, he was a reason to say he was because he's not really doing good right now.
01:27:53.000
He's one of those guys that, like, if you know DC, if you know Fat Doctor, every comic has some piece of Fat Doctor somewhere.
01:28:02.000
Whether it's being that motherfucker that can work a black room and a white room.
01:28:05.000
Whether it's being that dude that can fucking just demolish a fucking room.
01:28:28.000
He just did a write-up on him in the New York Times talking about his lineage to DC comedy and people he worked with and everything.
01:28:35.000
And Tony's one of those dudes that you know if you mention a certain city or something like, oh, Detroit or DC, you like Tony Woods.
01:28:55.000
I was surprised that more people don't know who he is.
01:28:58.000
When I talk to comics, even comics might not even know who he is.
01:29:09.000
He was very popular overseas, so you got to get your cash where you can get it.
01:29:24.000
That was one of Chappelle's mentors when he came up.
01:29:29.000
Like for me in Boston, a lot of it was Lenny Clark, who I'm still friends with.
01:29:34.000
There was these guys who were these Boston killers that would headline at Nick's Comedy Stop and all those comedy club stitches and all those places.
01:29:56.000
They would tell you, if you say fuck all the time, it doesn't mean anything.
01:30:08.000
And they would tell you about what's a hack premise.
01:30:11.000
You might think you thought of that yourself, but a hundred other comics also have thought of that same shit.
01:30:26.000
You're cursing, but you only got five minutes, and I have ten minutes.
01:30:31.000
It was like, they always going to have something to test you with.
01:30:36.000
But I know Fat Doctor, he always used to say, no matter what we do in this game, and we all have problems.
01:30:41.000
He said, when you go on stage, you put the problem to the side, you do your show, and then you pick it back up when you're ready to leave.
01:30:59.000
Yeah, he probably got something deep down in YouTube.
01:31:03.000
But he's one of those guys that we knew for years.
01:31:06.000
There's no, I mean, even guys who just, you watch them.
01:31:11.000
Even guys that you, you know, you don't even know them well, but you watch them all the time.
01:31:15.000
Like, if you work at the store, you know, you get to see, like, Jessen that could go up over and over and over again, tighten up his shit.
01:31:22.000
Like, even if you don't know him well, like, you kind of, if you're a young comic working the door, you're kind of getting mentored.
01:31:34.000
Before Martin did Star Search, they were really cool.
01:31:38.000
And Fat Doctor took him on his wing, just like he took a lot of us on his wing, and tell you those little jokes, those little things that help you.
01:31:45.000
In fact, I think when Martin first got the show, Fat Doctor was out here.
01:31:52.000
Dude, some of the worst bombings I ever had in my life.
01:32:04.000
I remember, I don't know if I told you this story, I remember, I remember I was in D.C. I was in the bed with this chick and we were watching HBO or whatever.
01:32:13.000
And this was when HBO specials were HBO specials.
01:32:22.000
He said, when you give it up for a brother making money the right way, when you're making money the right way, you can tell your lady shit like, shut the fuck up.
01:32:47.000
Yo, I was like, and he came out like, you know, he came out like, when specials was like, specials was really special.
01:32:58.000
And then it was usually with some big HBO production.
01:33:04.000
And he said, you can tell your lady shit, like, shut the fuck up.
01:33:18.000
And then I saw him at the Comedy Connection to Greenbelt.
01:33:25.000
It's a little pizza shop that make it to a comedy room.
01:33:30.000
And I was in the fucking front row like this, bro.
01:33:37.000
I was like, this nigga saying all the shit I want to say.
01:33:41.000
Yo, I was like, he's just saying some regular shit, and it's funny.
01:33:47.000
Like, he's just saying some regular shit, some everyday shit, and it's just funny.
01:33:58.000
I was like, and I wouldn't even, I was fucking around and open bullshit open mic just heckling.
01:34:18.000
The last year they did, it's called the Lit as Fuck Tour.
01:34:22.000
Martin Lawrence is the host of the Lit is Fuck Tour.
01:34:28.000
Yeah, they announced it recently, and I'm going to do some dates coming up.
01:34:32.000
Just to be a dude from D.C., That's like bucket list shit.
01:34:43.000
When you get that first check, you gotta put some leather on, son.
01:34:55.000
Not only that, but I'm just, I mean, think of it like, you gotta ask yourself, what the fuck was he thinking?
01:35:08.000
So that was around the time when he was coming to the comedy store to work out his shit.
01:35:29.000
You so crazy probably would fucking go against a rich bitch back in the 90s.
01:35:47.000
I was dating this girl and I had to break up with her because she said Martin Lawrence was corny.
01:35:52.000
I was like, bitch, I said, look, this is not going to work.
01:35:56.000
I was like, there is nothing else to talk about.
01:36:09.000
It was one of those things where he was on fire.
01:36:17.000
You know some comics are hot, but it's one thing where you know they're hot and then they got a hot TV show.
01:36:32.000
It's coming out, they're doing what, the third one?
01:36:34.000
Yeah, I mean, he was doing an action fucking movie too.
01:36:46.000
And I'm telling you, like it was for me as a kid, you know, who started in Boston, I'd only been doing comedy for six years by the time I was out here already.
01:36:56.000
And when I was out here, and I'm working at the store, six years in, and I gotta go on after Martin Lawrence.
01:37:02.000
Just to be in the room watching a legit comedy superstar, you know, six years in, like, watching him.
01:37:16.000
How'd you feel going, how'd you handle it going after him?
01:37:27.000
I thought you were like, yeah, dude, I just said, fuck them motherfuckers!
01:37:33.000
I ate shit pretty much every time I went on after him.
01:37:42.000
Wasn't one of them drinks with a motherfucking note.
01:37:44.000
Yo, the funny thing is when you do that shit and like I go some places with Dave and like he'll get on stage and then the whole crowd just leave the fucking stage.
01:38:17.000
I had already been just practicing my whole fucking life, not on jokes, just fucking with motherfuckers.
01:38:23.000
And all I had to do was figure out a way to make that into a bit.
01:38:27.000
Well, it doesn't seem like it's an art form, but it definitely is.
01:38:30.000
Because when someone talks shit to somebody really well and everybody's like, ah!
01:38:36.000
If you can do that to a room full of guys, if there's like five guys sitting around talking shit and one guy says something that's so ruthless that all of us are on the floor dying, that is stand-up comedy.
01:38:47.000
You're just doing stand-up comedy for five guys.
01:38:51.000
It's so weird because I'll meet people and I'm like, you should do comedy.
01:39:02.000
Certain people you see, and you're like, you know what?
01:39:08.000
Like, no, I'm not saying this is a career or anything, but if you ever thought about it, why not just fucking, you never know?
01:39:19.000
I encourage too many people to do too many things.
01:39:25.000
And people will get mad at me, going, you shouldn't encourage everybody to do it.
01:39:33.000
Like, it's not a special talent in the sense that, like, if...
01:39:38.000
If you can't run fast, you're not going to win at track and field.
01:39:43.000
But almost anybody who thinks they're funny, who loves comedy, who's got a sense of humor and is smart, can at least make some attempts at stand-up.
01:39:51.000
And I think if you can just get a little bit of traction, get going a little bit, you can get better.
01:39:57.000
Your pace was faster because you had been talking shit your whole life.
01:39:59.000
But other guys were more silent and introverted.
01:40:02.000
It took them a little while to get their thing going.
01:40:04.000
But if they can do it, I always encourage people to do it.
01:40:10.000
You can't just like, you know, like that guy, my friend.
01:40:15.000
I started, you know, I didn't start my podcast, but I recorded one today.
01:40:30.000
The reason why I did it, because I didn't want you to talk shit to me.
01:40:37.000
I was like, this motherfucker got a knockout punch.
01:40:46.000
This is the first time in my life I talked for 45 minutes with nobody else but myself.
01:40:55.000
You could stay in this room for three hours and just go.
01:41:09.000
Doing podcasts is a thing that you get better at being on a podcast.
01:41:20.000
I was scared as shit, son, but I knew I couldn't come in here.
01:41:30.000
And every time I see you, I just be wanting to say, what's up?
01:41:48.000
Everybody, one of the reasons why I encourage every comic to do it, because if you just put some energy into it, you have a thing that's all you.
01:41:58.000
It's like you, and you don't have to worry about getting fired.
01:42:01.000
You don't have to worry about people being mad at you.
01:42:04.000
I know it's me, but me not used to talking to himself.
01:42:16.000
And then we can come and do mine second or vice versa.
01:42:38.000
If the first ones aren't your favorite ones, it doesn't matter.
01:42:43.000
I was excited because you wouldn't be able to talk shit to me.
01:42:49.000
I was excited you wasn't going to talk shit to me.
01:42:51.000
And I'm excited that I got 44 minutes of me talking.
01:42:58.000
Yeah, if you go back and listen to the early Burr ones, he would do it on a phone.
01:43:01.000
He would make a phone call to a place, and it would be him on the phone.
01:43:08.000
Bill Burr's first ones, he was doing way back before there was an app on your phone that you could record on.
01:43:15.000
And he was just talking shit about people at the airport, just talking shit about this guy.
01:43:31.000
The more people do it, the more comics do it, the more it empowers all of you.
01:43:36.000
All you just got to do is get it to a Libsyn account.
01:43:40.000
You need an account where you can get an RSS feed.
01:44:11.000
Super easy to set up, so you just have to upload one every week.
01:44:24.000
I'm going to do more, but I got one ready, son.
01:44:36.000
Everywhere I go, this motherfucker's everywhere.
01:44:51.000
Because when we did that show, like, we all did a good job, right?
01:44:55.000
But it felt good because we knew, like, we had put the reps in.
01:45:06.000
Even when we did the Utah joint, that was so dope because, you know, we did the first one, Ashley, you, I mean, Ashley and you, and then they had the intermission of me and Dave, and then on the Utah joint, it was daytime.
01:45:26.000
So, I'm like this, because I had just experienced something similar the year before with Frankie, Beverly, and Mays.
01:45:31.000
Basically, motherfuckers weren't there, and it was daytime.
01:45:37.000
You can't give Joe a motherfucking daytime audience.
01:45:41.000
Like, it's the backstage of the festival or some shit, right?
01:45:46.000
And I went on then, and it got dark, and fucking you went up there and ate that shit up, son.
01:45:57.000
They felt like we were doing something really fun.
01:46:31.000
Like, if I was a guy who liked stand-up but didn't do it, I want to see that show.
01:46:36.000
And it's the show, and then it's seeing other people enjoy the show.
01:46:41.000
Bumping into somebody, hey, we were at the Rogue and Chappelle show, you know?
01:47:03.000
That would annoy the fuck out of people, right?
01:47:05.000
We'll hire a whole separate group of people so we could help people get podcasts launched.
01:47:09.000
People be like, there's two fucking million years in this.
01:47:19.000
I mean, if we did decide to do that, to have a branch where it just helped people get started with their shit.
01:47:35.000
You're dealing with some, like, record producer-type shit.
01:47:52.000
Your fans started fucking trying to bully me and shit.
01:47:56.000
Yo, I was in Orlando and all these motherfuckers look like you kept coming up to me.
01:48:07.000
And they come up and talk about what the fuck is up with the podcast.
01:48:16.000
You heard it here, folks, ladies and gentlemen.
01:48:37.000
I feel like I tried to do everybody's podcast at one time.
01:48:44.000
And I just fucking was talking and I just couldn't get it.
01:49:04.000
Dude, I've been reading this book about the Wild West.
01:49:28.000
It's about the wars between the settlers and Native Americans.
01:49:41.000
Some of the things that happened to these people on both sides.
01:49:51.000
With these tribes, and when these white settlers showed up, and I'm fascinated by what the tribes were doing before the settlers showed up, too.
01:50:01.000
It talks about the Comanche, about what happened when the Comanche got horses, and they just really started getting really good at raising horses, and they had way more horses than anybody, and so they dominated.
01:50:15.000
I mean, this wasn't that long ago that these Folks were riding horses, dominating landscape with bows and arrows and spears and hunting buffalo and cooking them over fire.
01:50:31.000
It is like sort of fairytale movie type shit of Avatar people.
01:50:42.000
The murders, when it talks about the murders and murdering settlers and babies and all kinds of crazy shit.
01:51:00.000
I mean, I try to read, but I don't read as much as I do listen.
01:51:04.000
You gotta go on the beach or something where you can hear like a book.
01:51:12.000
How bold is it to buy a house on the beach in 2019?
01:51:17.000
I think everything is going to stay exactly the way it is.
01:51:23.000
Like if you buy a house in Santa Monica or something where you're on those stilts, Over the water.
01:51:30.000
Do they have odds on what parts of the shoreline get eroded completely over the next 10 years?
01:51:43.000
Meanwhile, people are still buying those fucking houses.
01:51:46.000
Imagine trying to unload them when the water starts rising.
01:51:55.000
I mean, are they really going to lose all those houses?
01:52:08.000
No, they're going to take that L and rebuild, man.
01:52:22.000
No, my friend was on the podcast talking to me about it, and he has a farm.
01:52:27.000
And he was telling me about these fucking things.
01:52:30.000
They land on tarantulas and fuck them up and lay their eggs in a tarantula.
01:52:39.000
And he was describing how big it was, and I was like, what?
01:53:12.000
The only thing you want to get rid of is stuff that fucks up your crops.
01:53:20.000
I mean, if I could describe this, how big is this for people that are just listening?
01:53:24.000
If it's straightened out, it's a good solid three inches, wouldn't you say?
01:53:36.000
That's easy to know what three inches is, bitch.
01:53:44.000
It's hard to tell because it's curved, folks, because it's dehydrated and dead and it's curled up in a ball, but I feel like if you straighten that fucker out, it'd be four inches.
01:53:58.000
So we're looking at some shit from the animal planet.
01:54:11.000
But that's why it was so fascinating about that book, when they were detailing the lives of the Comanche, because they were brutal.
01:54:17.000
I mean, but also, like, they were living like animals.
01:54:28.000
In the 1800s, they were living in this way that it's incomprehensible.
01:54:37.000
Someone, my friend the Jackalope on Instagram, he's a Hunter S. Thompson enthusiast.
01:54:42.000
That sounds like something that would be turned into a series.
01:54:47.000
Someone, if they did like a real accurate account of these settlers trying to travel across the country and what happened to them and what happened to the Native Americans and the war with the...
01:54:58.000
The soldiers and all the treaties that were broken and all the horrible, horrific shit that happened to them.
01:55:07.000
But it's just, all that aside, which you can never ignore, all that aside, it's fascinating just to think of how they were living their lives.
01:55:14.000
Just riding around on horses, spearing buffalo, eating meat over a fire.
01:55:24.000
They were just eating meat over a fire, making bows and arrows and fucking things up and dominating the West.
01:55:30.000
But they probably still had the same problems as everybody else.
01:55:38.000
It's just crazy to listen to the depictions of how they tortured the enemy.
01:55:45.000
To me, when you hear what's a well-researched, accurate account of something that happened in our past, it always makes me think.
01:55:56.000
It's hard to even believe that life was any different, even though we know it was.
01:56:07.000
We can't even think about what it would be like to live.
01:56:13.000
I was in San Diego last week and they had some type of exhibit going on.
01:56:29.000
Think about the man, and if you could build a tool like that, you was the shit in the triangle.
01:56:43.000
When did people first start fucking each other up with bows?
01:56:59.000
I mean, some of them, they were really skillfully made.
01:57:03.000
And they got really good with their arrows, too.
01:57:05.000
And they got really good with the right size and the right kind of wood.
01:57:10.000
And there was an art to teaching people how to shoot the bows and arrows.
01:57:13.000
But, God, they were so crude in comparison to what people have today.
01:57:21.000
The Mongols, they had a bow, supposedly, according to...
01:57:34.000
There was an article that was written about the bows of the Mongols.
01:57:40.000
Just gigantic fucking bows that they was pulled back that were...
01:57:48.000
Dan Carlin's Hardcore History has this amazing series on it called The Wrath of the Khan.
01:57:52.000
And Dan Carlin said that their bows were like 160 pounds to pull back.
01:58:00.000
I cannot remember what it was in, but it was all detailing the science behind the bows of the Mongols.
01:58:13.000
You stretch it out, you can't aim until you have it stretched, right?
01:58:20.000
I mean, I kind of know the principles behind it.
01:58:35.000
And that guy, I mean, I don't know what he's pulling back, but I can bet these guys are strong as fuck.
01:58:40.000
Man, can you just imagine looking back and the dude has his bow already back there?
01:58:46.000
And some of them had deformities in their skeletons that they believe were...
01:58:50.000
We're probably caused by the injuries that they got from pulling back these heavy-ass bows.
01:58:57.000
They developed these calcified joints and all sorts of weird bone deformities just from pulling back these gigantic fucking bows.
01:59:12.000
Like a lot of people can't pull back like a 70 pound ball.
01:59:26.000
And keep going out there to find your fucking balls.
01:59:37.000
If I could have a time machine, man, and just drop down and watch the Comanche run down a herd of buffalo and see them.
01:59:46.000
If I could just be a fly on the wall and watch what it was like to be a Comanche in the 1800s.
01:59:58.000
Just people living in this really wild, nomadic, hunter life.
02:00:05.000
They barely even ate nuts and berries and shit, apparently.
02:00:12.000
And they were using all kinds of fucked up methods, man.
02:00:16.000
They would light the fields on fire and chase them into rivers and shit.
02:00:29.000
There's something about it that's so fascinating.
02:00:33.000
You gotta come home with a motherfucking buffalo!
02:00:38.000
I wonder where they're like, man, we sick of these fucking potatoes, motherfuckers.
02:00:48.000
There was a guy named Dan Flores that wrote a piece about what was happening once Native American tribes started riding on horses and running down buffalo.
02:00:59.000
And they were like, the numbers were getting decimated.
02:01:01.000
They were like, even if the market hunters didn't come along and kill all the buffalo, which they did, they said it just would have taken longer.
02:01:09.000
But these Native Americans on horses were so effective, they were eventually going to wipe them all out.
02:01:16.000
I would love to have seen what that was like, just to see those people existing.
02:01:21.000
You seem like you would like to live that life.
02:01:28.000
But it seemed like you would go if it was a weekend of that shit.
02:01:36.000
I mean, it's way easier to do than it is to do it with, you know, ancient bows and arrows and shit.
02:01:44.000
But there's probably arguably way more animals around back then, too.
02:01:48.000
Yeah, those motherfucking animals got shot up, son.
02:01:50.000
Those guys lived their entire life with no knowledge of the Western world.
02:01:57.000
There was many generations where they didn't have any contact, and then all of a sudden, the Spanish come here, and the French came here, and then all of a sudden, the 1400s, the 1500s.
02:02:09.000
I think they didn't even get horses until the Europeans brought them over.
02:02:16.000
And then they got, once they got horses, they just started kicking everybody's ass.
02:02:22.000
This book is, it's got me, I've been thinking about it all day.
02:02:28.000
There's stories in there about them stealing horses from soldiers, didn't know what the fuck they were doing.
02:02:36.000
Yeah, they would steal all their horses and leave them to die.
02:02:39.000
Because you're in the middle of this fucking area with no food, no water, no rain.
02:02:45.000
And they knew what they were doing by taking their horses.
02:02:51.000
Instead of just killing them, I mean, they could have killed them.
02:02:56.000
We'll let you slowly run out of food and water.
02:02:59.000
You're about 300 miles away from anything to eat.
02:03:03.000
Damn, that's how they planned revenge and everything.
02:03:10.000
It's just reading these depictions of what the combat was like and the raids they did on these settlers' villages and shit.
02:03:19.000
They sold people land in, like, Cherokee or Comanche-infested territory.
02:03:28.000
They gave these people these giant swaths of land.
02:03:36.000
And then Comanches came and killed everybody and took people slaves.
02:03:42.000
Dude, the United States government, Uncle Sam's got your best interest.
02:03:45.000
I don't know who it was that told them to do that.
02:03:49.000
It was one of those things where they were trying to get people to settle the West.
02:03:53.000
And the way they were doing it was they were offering anybody who would go out there, you would get a certain amount of land for free.
02:03:58.000
If you just go out there and you have to farm it for a little.
02:04:00.000
But then the Comanches, you said, came and took it.
02:04:03.000
And that's what this story is about at this point.
02:04:18.000
It's a wild romantic connection that we always have to the way Native Americans live, but I've never really seen it depicted in this way as this book.
02:04:30.000
Just amazing to hear what life was like hundreds of years ago right here.
02:04:41.000
Imagine if you looked at the year 1400 and then go back through time.
02:04:47.000
You could go hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years.
02:04:54.000
Then all of a sudden, 1500, 1600 buildings, buildings, 19, 2000, 2019, planes, pollution, infrared, 5G, Occupy Mars.
02:05:20.000
You're just waving at people and just docking that shit.
02:05:37.000
We don't have any peanuts, but that's a fat bomb.
02:06:16.000
Like say if I just need like a little bit of a snack, like if I'm gonna go work out or something like that, but I want to eat a full meal, I'll have one of these.
02:06:22.000
Or if in between meals, I'm like a little bit hungry, I'll have one of these.
02:06:34.000
I love, like, I can't say that without sounding gay, but I love nut butter.
02:06:44.000
I thought you were going to say how different from Jizz.
02:06:48.000
I mean, it's, it's, almond butter is a little different than peanut butter in the way, I don't know what, that's a good question.
02:06:58.000
What do you think is more, that's a good question, because I never really, what's more nutritious, peanut butter or almond butter?
02:07:08.000
Which company makes it because there's going to be added nutrition.
02:07:14.000
Maybe by definition or just by fact almonds have X amount percentage of this or that that peanut butter doesn't or vice versa.
02:07:29.000
Not that most people are allergic to peanuts, but I've heard of more people being allergic to peanuts than almonds, right?
02:07:36.000
Almond butter is slightly healthier than peanut butter because it has more vitamins, minerals, and fiber.
02:07:41.000
Both nut butters are roughly equal in calories and sugar, but peanut butter has a little more protein than almond butter.
02:07:58.000
How do you find out what nut you're really allergic to is the question.
02:08:05.000
Some people, they're so allergic to peanuts that if they get on a plane, they will ask other people on the plane to not eat peanuts.
02:08:16.000
Out of all the times you've heard that announcement, right?
02:08:23.000
Some fat dude just doesn't give a fuck about the world.
02:08:31.000
He just eats it like this so no peanut dust gets in the air.
02:08:36.000
But he's got peanut breath for the whole fucking flight.
02:09:08.000
Well, I've seen that allergy reaction to, like, seafood, but I can imagine it's probably the same type.
02:09:19.000
If you really wanted to sit down and freak out, you could.
02:09:33.000
It's so easy to think about all the shit that could go wrong.
02:09:36.000
All the stuff that can kill you and all the poisons and drugs.
02:09:52.000
A minimum amount of knowledge and a lot of shit.
02:09:55.000
Do you hear about the shit that's going down in Mexico?
02:09:58.000
Where those Mormons got shot out by the cartel.
02:10:02.000
The first report, they tried to say they made a mistake.
02:10:07.000
Yeah, it was like, oh, they think that it was a hit went wrong.
02:10:11.000
That was original reporting, but now it's just a hit.
02:10:19.000
And some of the Mormons, a lot of them was like, fuck that.
02:10:24.000
Plagued by deadly attacks, members of this Mormon community are fleeing Mexico.
02:10:44.000
That's Theo Vaughn's future right there, buddy.
02:10:48.000
That's Theo taking a break backstage on his stadium tour.
02:11:15.000
If you see it written down on paper, you wouldn't know, why is that funny?
02:11:19.000
And then you see him say it on stage, you're dying.
02:11:24.000
He's got to act like nobody could rip his act off.
02:11:52.000
That's like saying, like, you're like Brody Stevens.
02:11:55.000
I've never heard anybody say he's like Brody Stevens.
02:11:58.000
Shout out to everybody who can't read and write.
02:12:00.000
Y'all could have worked harder in school, but whatever.
02:12:10.000
Y'all could have worked harder in school, but whatever.
02:12:16.000
I remember he told me the story of why he didn't like black guys coming up because one of them jumped him on the school bus.
02:12:27.000
He knew the name and all I could do is respect the story, man.
02:12:41.000
You know, like any night, if I go to the improv or I go to the store, any night, it's just murderers row.
02:12:54.000
The comedy scene now is just, it's on fire now.
02:12:57.000
And he's, Damon was, he took time off, you know, so he decided to come back, just do these shows.
02:13:14.000
He brings a tripod in his camera and he films it and then he watches it and analyzes it.
02:13:21.000
Remember the one special he did, The Last Stand?
02:13:40.000
So does this start off with him picking the mic back up?
02:13:47.000
It would be hilarious if he started this next special that way.
02:13:51.000
I don't know if he's getting ready to do a special.
02:13:57.000
We were all in the green room of the improv, and we're talking about just stand-up in general, his approach.
02:14:07.000
I have a lot of respect for the way he puts together his shit.
02:14:17.000
He's got a goddamn camera and a tripod that he's carrying around personally.
02:14:32.000
That's true, but when someone takes the watching and analyzing that deep, I gotta go, hmm.
02:14:44.000
Because don't you think that if you do a set and then you watch the set, it's almost like you did two sets?
02:15:11.000
Like, say if you release a special and then you want to write a whole new hour, you would want as much feedback as you could get, like, personally.
02:15:27.000
Yeah, but you know, you feel it more than anything, you know?
02:15:31.000
Like, you know, like, I think you have so many thoughts, you might want to, you know, write something down just so you can have all your thoughts in one space.
02:15:41.000
You feel it like, shit, you start talking about doing it more special.
02:15:49.000
And then, you know, it's once you feel good about something.
02:15:54.000
Yeah, I was just thinking his method is one step further than mine, which is just listening.
02:16:04.000
If you're gonna record your sets, you really should record, record.
02:16:07.000
Like, you really should have a fucking video of it.
02:16:17.000
He was like, I never really write things down in terms of like write the whole bit out.
02:16:29.000
It was really interesting, because we were talking about it, and then I watched him go downstairs and do it.
02:16:34.000
And, you know, in the 90s, when I was just getting to the store, he was like a hero in the comedy world.
02:16:41.000
To be able to work with Damon Wayans at the comedy store...
02:16:45.000
When I was in my 20s, I was like, this is crazy.
02:16:47.000
That's Damon Wayans from the fucking Wayans Brothers.
02:16:51.000
The other candidate for the greatest sketch show of all time.
02:16:57.000
So I'm sitting there working with him at the fucking goddamn comedy store.
02:17:03.000
When you're a young guy or a young girl, you know, you just get into comedy and you start to break through, hanging out with comics that you used to watch on television.
02:17:15.000
And then you realize it's just like, what the fuck just happened?
02:17:23.000
But then you're hanging out with them for a reason, though, because everybody don't hang out with them.
02:17:30.000
There's a reason why you're hanging out with them and not everybody else.
02:17:35.000
I mean, there's only so many people that are going to get passed at the store.
02:17:38.000
See, you at Marlin, damn, man, so you was out here when they were really just like...
02:17:56.000
That was the biggest room, like, the biggest promoter room.
02:18:00.000
And, of course, Joe Torrey, who did Def Comedy Jam.
02:18:09.000
Tupac pulled a gun out at one of those or somebody with him.
02:18:12.000
Wasn't there some crazy story from the comedy store about Tupac almost getting in a gunfight in the fucking main room?
02:18:29.000
Guy Torrey recalls, curving Tupac at the height of east-west tension.
02:18:39.000
Yeah, I think there was some sort of firearm in the premises.
02:18:44.000
But then, other than those guys, though, here's the thing that was crazy.
02:18:48.000
There was a lot of guys that were there that were laid over from the 80s that you don't hear from anymore.
02:19:06.000
Because if you didn't get a television show and you didn't get on a movie, you're fucked.
02:19:12.000
It was so few guys just got famous from doing stand-up.
02:19:23.000
You wouldn't get fame in New York, but you could make a living in New York.
02:19:29.000
There ain't gonna be no extreme living, but you could make a living.
02:19:34.000
You had to have some kind of TV show or something where people would come to see you.
02:19:42.000
Most people relied on something else and some of them it just passed them by and then they were in their 40s and 50s and they had never really hit with anything and you'd see them hanging around but it was just like fuck it didn't work out and then this new crop came in after that the new crop came in like the 2000s the early 2000s you start seeing these new guys coming in and you start seeing like this one Ari Shafir was already killing at the club by then he was already doing like smaller spots by then I think he was probably even...
02:20:22.000
And now, over the last four and a half, five years, the comedy store is on fire.
02:20:27.000
Now it's not like anything else I've ever seen.
02:20:35.000
The whole fucking week is dope, but it's something about Tuesdays.
02:20:40.000
Tuesday just like, I think the comedy store on Tuesday nights right now.
02:20:47.000
And then the energy, the patio energy, it's a good spot.
02:20:53.000
And then Tuesdays, a lot of times, Jeremiah does that stand-up on the spot show too.
02:21:00.000
He's doing it this Tuesday, but I'm at the improv.
02:21:40.000
He needs to farm it out to have a bee promoter.
02:21:46.000
If he doesn't want to do it every week, I get it.
02:21:49.000
But that is a good place for the birth of a joke.
02:21:53.000
And the audience knows you have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
02:21:59.000
They're like this, wait a minute, this motherfucker just made this up.
02:22:10.000
I'll smoke an L. I don't think I do no alcohol.
02:22:19.000
Yeah, just a little bit to get the old blood pumping.
02:22:44.000
Tupac came in, he's your friend, and got into a shootout.
02:22:48.000
Eddie Griffin got banned because Tupac got into a shootout?
02:22:52.000
There's still bullets on the Mondrain across the street.
02:22:59.000
Now I'm responsible for Tupac getting into a shootout.
02:23:06.000
Him and Tretch from Naughty By Nature beat somebody up in the main room also.
02:23:37.000
I think they're going to just keep it basically the same.
02:23:40.000
And Bob is like, he's consulting for like a year.
02:24:02.000
It was originally an ice house, like back before they had refrigerators, and people would buy ice.
02:24:08.000
And then it became like a variety show place where they'd have bands, and then they'd have a few comedians, and then they just went to straight stand-up.
02:24:15.000
But I think they went to straight stand-up in the 70s.
02:24:19.000
78. 78. And so, I think, I don't know, does that make them the oldest comedy club?
02:24:26.000
It seems like the comedy store was around back then.
02:24:30.000
I think that was full-time comedy then is what this says.
02:25:07.000
They're like all the California but none of the Hollywood.
02:25:09.000
Like regular folks that live in a nice city in California with the great weather, but they're not Hollywood.
02:25:16.000
I went down there and they had some festival going on downtown.
02:25:34.000
Man, these are the most Eric-nomically designed chairs ever.
02:25:42.000
So it says the Comedy Store opened in 72, April of 72, but the Ice House was running from 1960 to 78 as a variety show, so comedians were going the entire time, so that's why it's distinctive as longest ongoing comedy club,
02:25:58.000
So it's had comedy forever, but it had other stuff as well, whereas the Comedy Store was only comedy, and that was 72. Right.
02:26:10.000
And what did it take to get a weekend at the fucking Ice House?
02:26:19.000
Well, there probably wasn't that many clubs back then, right?
02:26:26.000
There's not that many fucking, I know they had a shitload of comedians.
02:26:30.000
There used to be a place that my friend Adam Ferrari used to work at that was in, it was in like, fuck, like Westwood or Brentwood or something like that, that was a real clean place.
02:26:48.000
I think they said it's the spot that Leno hits on like...
02:26:51.000
Oh, you're thinking of the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa.
02:26:56.000
No, I was thinking it was a place that Richard Jennings used to work out at all the time.
02:27:02.000
But I remember Ferraro was working there and him and I were buddies and I was in the back of the room going, God, I wish I could work here.
02:27:21.000
And when I go there, it seems like it's my crowd.
02:27:23.000
But I've heard people say that they're told they can't talk about certain things.
02:27:36.000
If I ever went, I would understand that going in.
02:27:39.000
He's the only club that ever told me I couldn't have Joey Diaz open for me, though.
02:28:03.000
And Joey just said, Joey just said, give me the food.
02:28:08.000
They have one of the best comedy club steaks ever.
02:28:12.000
The food at the Comedy Magic Club, it's like a really nice restaurant.
02:28:16.000
Like, if you ate there as a restaurant, you'd be happy.
02:28:52.000
Comedy and magic together is a weird combination.
02:28:55.000
When they have those shows at the Comedy and Magic Club, they'll have a magician do 15, then you do stand-up afterwards.
02:29:06.000
I've seen guys, the magician guys, like, they don't get to go up, so they're just going around the parties, just like...
02:29:16.000
Them motherfuckers will suck all the women out of a fucking room.
02:29:23.000
They just want to be, I don't know, they just want to feel like...
02:29:36.000
And that's when shit starts disappearing and shit.
02:29:39.000
I've been with fucking David Blaine fucking took my watch off before.
02:29:51.000
This motherfucker regurgitated some frogs before.
02:29:53.000
It just makes me nervous that a guy would be so slick he would actually be able to take your watch off.
02:30:04.000
I know other people have said it happened to them.
02:30:13.000
I believe it, but I've never seen it, but I think there's levels to everything.
02:30:17.000
If you get to some elite world champion gold medalist in the Olympics level of watch picking, you know what I mean?
02:30:25.000
You've seen dudes do shit with their hands when they move cards around, and it's fucking confusing.
02:30:32.000
They're dexterity when they're moving the decks together and doing that kind of shit.
02:30:36.000
I mean, some dudes have control of their hands that's just off the charts.
02:30:51.000
I've been robbed before, but never been pickpocketed.
02:30:55.000
That's when he fucking David Blaine threw up the fucking frog.
02:31:14.000
However he did, it freaked everybody out in that fucking room.
02:31:20.000
Like, what happens if that thing has bacteria in it or some weird disease and it breaks down in your gut?
02:31:31.000
And he just, until he run out of breath, like, he's just down there until he can't breathe anymore.
02:31:36.000
He's taking the guy's watch right there on the right.
02:32:05.000
And it seems like he did some sort of a magic trick with the cards, too.
02:32:13.000
When people have that kind of hand control, stay the fuck away from them.
02:32:19.000
When do you have time to practice deception at that level?
02:32:21.000
I don't want to get anything from David Blaine.
02:32:25.000
Bro, you heard Whitney Cummings' bit about magicians?
02:32:34.000
That was one of those, when someone says something, you go, oh shit, that's true.
02:32:44.000
The Women's Magicians Association of America is now outraged.
02:32:47.000
I'm sure there's some women magicians, but you don't consider...
02:32:53.000
I know a bunch of male magicians, but maybe I'm a sexist piece of shit.
02:32:56.000
Yeah, I don't understand how no woman has broke the magician barrier.
02:33:06.000
As like a Penn and Teller form or David Blaine form.
02:33:09.000
I think it's an incredible art form that's very difficult for anybody.
02:33:16.000
Like if it's not, it's not like a bunch of women, magician, guides, and you know, mentors that could help you figure it out.
02:33:26.000
Like who the fuck, why aren't there a lot of female magicians?
02:33:49.000
I just googled famous female ones and I have never heard of the top five that came out.
02:34:00.000
She's probably going, I ain't never heard of you either, motherfucker.
02:34:24.000
I don't know if there's some problem with crossover from assistant to top villain.
02:34:28.000
Oh, like maybe if you have assistant and she's like super hot, she's like, I want to do magic too.
02:34:42.000
And then after a while, you know, she's hot and you're not and he's just trying to keep her.
02:34:51.000
Maybe if you just taught me with a little more patience, maybe I could do exactly what you're doing, but you're afraid.
02:35:06.000
I picture her with fiery red hair, a tight waist, a But I've really never ever, that's so crazy, I've never seen a female magician perform.
02:35:19.000
That's one of those ones where you're like, oh my god, how come nobody ever pointed that out before?
02:35:29.000
That's why you've never seen a female magician.
02:35:38.000
It's one of those things where you hear it and you go, fuck, she's right.
02:35:42.000
What other job is there where there's no females?
02:35:46.000
This is not the reason why, but this is an interesting point.
02:35:49.000
Someone asked this question in an article in 2013, and one person said the reason that some kids get into magic is because they got beat up.
02:35:56.000
It's like they had to find magic, and that's what led them to making friends.
02:36:00.000
A lot of girls don't end up having that problem.
02:36:06.000
I could really see that as something for a guy to build his confidence up with.
02:36:12.000
There's not a lot of money in being a fitness chick.
02:36:17.000
The market's kind of flooded, but you can separate yourself from the pack.
02:36:29.000
Magic in the most revealing, ridiculous yoga outfit.
02:36:43.000
Macklemore says he's a magician now, releasing magic rap album.
02:36:59.000
That's one of those gigs where kind of anybody could do it.
02:37:03.000
I mean, not anybody can do it well, don't get me wrong, there's a lot of skill to it, but I'm saying nothing's gonna stop you from practicing.
02:37:09.000
You could get a book, you could take classes, right?
02:37:47.000
He's like, what if I can buy my natural ability?
02:37:54.000
Today is one of those days that I dragged in on the road.
02:38:12.000
That's the worst thing about the road for me, is leaving my son.
02:38:21.000
You're like, I'm out, and then you just like...
02:38:31.000
Dude, we're going to get this podcast launched.
02:38:50.000
They just announced today that Martin Lawrence, the Lit Tour, Lit as Fuck Tour, is coming out.
02:39:04.000
And the new podcast, which is going to be called Too Soon.
02:39:11.000
It's real ghetto right now, but I'll make it better.