The Joe Rogan Experience - November 13, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1383 - Malcolm Gladwell


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 38 minutes

Words per Minute

169.81787

Word Count

26,885

Sentence Count

2,331

Misogynist Sentences

23


Summary

On this episode of the podcast, Joe Biden sits down with his good friend Malcolm Gladwell to discuss his new book, "Outliers" and the controversial case of the Sandra Bland case. Malcolm talks about what it's like to be a police officer in America, and why he thinks we should all be better at talking to strangers. He also talks about why we need to learn how to talk to strangers and why it's so important to be good at it. And he talks about how we should talk to people we don't know and how we can improve our ability to do so. This episode was produced and edited by Annie-Rose Strasser. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Our ad music is by Build Buildings Records, and our ad music was made by Micah Vellian and Haley Shaw. Additional music written and performed by Haley Shaw, and produced by Ian Dorsch and Sarah Abdurrahman. Thanks to our sponsor, SoundCloud, and to everyone who helped make this podcast possible. Thank you so much for all the support, and for the support we got from listeners like you, the listeners, the fans, the reviewers, the sponsors, the supporters, and the reviewers and the listeners who sent in questions, and all the work they sent in! and the amazing people who sent us the questions and support. Thanks again and thanks back to everyone for the amazing work sent in. We can't wait for more episodes, we can't thank you enough! - Thank you. - Joe Biden, Malcolm, Thank you, Joe, Thank You, Maureen, and I'm so much, Thank Me, and Good Morning America, Good Morning, Good Life, Good Luck, Good Blessings, and God Bless You, and Much Blessings. -- Thank You. -- Joe Biden -- - - P.S. -- -- This episode is coming Soon, My Dear Friend, My Brother, Malcolm -- by: Malcolm, -- By: Malcolm ( ) , Thank You ( ) -- ( ) , , My Brother & My Brother ( ) - , and My Sister, My Sister ( ) & My Sister . , & My Friend, Sarah ( ) . | , etc., , Thank You , My Sister & My Fellow Brother, My Dad,


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Hello, Malcolm.
00:00:06.000 Hey, Joe.
00:00:06.000 How you doing?
00:00:07.000 I'm doing very well.
00:00:09.000 You sound like you.
00:00:11.000 Good, good.
00:00:12.000 That's always a good sound.
00:00:13.000 It's through headphones.
00:00:14.000 It's very interesting because I've been listening to Talking to Strangers.
00:00:17.000 I like that you narrate your books.
00:00:19.000 It's very frustrating when someone who's a great speaker does not narrate their books.
00:00:23.000 So thanks for doing that.
00:00:25.000 No, I actually...
00:00:27.000 I kind of enjoy – I used to hate that process with my first one and then I've grown to enjoy it because when you say your book out loud, you see it in a different way.
00:00:38.000 Like, oh, you get a little bit of a different perspective on it.
00:00:42.000 Well, I'm a giant fan of your work, man, particularly Outliers.
00:00:45.000 I really love that book.
00:00:47.000 It's very illuminating and sort of peels away the mystery of talent.
00:00:53.000 And so tell me what you're doing.
00:00:56.000 What is this talking to strangers I'm into about?
00:00:59.000 I'm in the second chapter right now.
00:01:02.000 Oh, I see.
00:01:03.000 Well, that was a book about...
00:01:06.000 I was struck by how many of the kind of high-profile cases that we got obsessed with were at their root about the same thing, which is that individuals were...
00:01:18.000 Two people who didn't know each other well had an exchange and they got each other wrong.
00:01:23.000 So, you know, everything from Amanda Knox to Bernie Madoff to the...
00:01:30.000 To Larry Nassar at Michigan State, to Jerry Sandusky at Penn State, and then to the signature case, which the book is organized around, which is the Sandra Bland case.
00:01:40.000 Remember the young woman in Texas who gets pulled over by the side of the road?
00:01:44.000 They're all, at root, fundamentally the same problem, which is there's an exchange between – and the exchange just goes wrong.
00:01:52.000 And the question is why.
00:01:54.000 That's what I began to get really fascinated by.
00:01:59.000 You'd think at this point in human evolution, we'd have got this thing about talking to strangers down.
00:02:05.000 And we clearly don't.
00:02:07.000 And we're being pushed to talk more and more to strangers, right, in a kind of globalized world.
00:02:13.000 And if we're bad at it, that doesn't bode well, does it?
00:02:17.000 Well, I think there's also an issue today with people not learning the necessary skills in how to talk to people because so much communication is done digitally.
00:02:35.000 Yeah.
00:02:47.000 In how to be a normal human being in conversation.
00:02:52.000 And now the rehearsal, it's like the rehearsal got cut in half.
00:02:55.000 And, you know, instead of getting to the point where we play basketball with basketballs, we're still just doing wind sprints or something, you know.
00:03:04.000 Right.
00:03:04.000 You never get to actually playing a game.
00:03:06.000 You know, playing a game.
00:03:07.000 I'm butchering the metaphor.
00:03:08.000 I know what you're saying, though.
00:03:09.000 The Sandra Bland case...
00:03:12.000 How does that one fit in?
00:03:14.000 Because that girl was pulled over.
00:03:17.000 The cop was...
00:03:19.000 It was failure to signal, right?
00:03:22.000 Yeah.
00:03:22.000 I mean, it's a bullshit thing.
00:03:23.000 It's a bullshit thing.
00:03:24.000 And she started lighting his cigarettes.
00:03:26.000 He told her to put the cigarette out.
00:03:28.000 And it all escalated from that.
00:03:30.000 She said she doesn't have to put the cigarette out.
00:03:32.000 And then he says he's going to light her up.
00:03:35.000 He's screaming at her.
00:03:37.000 He pulls her out of the car.
00:03:38.000 He rests her.
00:03:39.000 And then...
00:03:40.000 Is there controversy about whether or not she committed suicide in jail?
00:03:45.000 There is.
00:03:46.000 I don't get into that.
00:03:47.000 Okay.
00:03:48.000 Because that seemed unlikely.
00:03:51.000 That she was killed, as opposed to committing suicide.
00:03:54.000 Yes.
00:03:54.000 It seemed likely that she was killed versus that she committed suicide.
00:03:59.000 I didn't think that someone would commit suicide being in jail for three days.
00:04:04.000 One of the things that you highlighted in the book and you actually played in the audio version of it, her little sort of affirmations, you know, and she sounded very positive and upbeat and calling everybody kings and queens and thanking God and being very thankful and being aware of life and humility and just graciousness and gratitude.
00:04:29.000 It didn't seem—I mean, obviously you don't know what kind of dark things can happen to a person when they're incarcerated for three days for a bullshit reason.
00:04:37.000 Maybe that's the straw that broke the camel's back.
00:04:40.000 She did have—you know, she had a complicated— Oh.
00:04:54.000 Oh.
00:05:12.000 Very difficult period in her life.
00:05:14.000 She was in Illinois.
00:05:17.000 She drives halfway across the country to start over.
00:05:20.000 And on the first day that she arrives in Texas to start over, she gets pulled over by a cop.
00:05:26.000 And by the way, she had thousands of dollars in outstanding tickets.
00:05:31.000 So she had a history of this bullshit stuff with cops where the same trap that many poor people in this country get into, which is they get – the police use people as an ATM,
00:05:48.000 right?
00:05:48.000 They like set them up for untrivial things and when they can't find – when they can't pay the fine, they get another fine and when – you know how that goes.
00:05:55.000 She was part of – in that trap.
00:05:57.000 So here she is trying to start over after a difficult time.
00:06:00.000 First day she gets to Texas, she gets pulled over again and she, in her mind, it's the same.
00:06:06.000 She's like, oh my god, I tried to start over and I can't.
00:06:09.000 And then she's in jail and she can't make bail.
00:06:13.000 And, you know, there's a scenario where you can see that she just began to despair.
00:06:17.000 Don't they take away your shoelaces and do- Small town Texas.
00:06:21.000 Yeah.
00:06:22.000 Are they doing things by the book?
00:06:23.000 Right.
00:06:24.000 I mean I find the whole thing about – I went to that town when I was reporting the book and it's kind of hard to be – to kill – To kill someone and get away with it requires a level of expertise and forethought that struck me was not present in that little town in Texas.
00:06:48.000 I mean...
00:06:49.000 A serious hand.
00:06:50.000 It's just not...
00:06:51.000 I don't...
00:06:51.000 They're not like...
00:06:52.000 They're not thinking...
00:06:53.000 These are not people playing chess, right?
00:06:55.000 I think they...
00:06:56.000 They just encountered it with this cop and he's not very good at his job and he gets way over his head and he completely misreads her I think it's almost more tragic.
00:07:24.000 That she committed suicide.
00:07:27.000 It's insane that you can keep someone in jail for three days for failure to signal.
00:07:32.000 It seems like there should have been an initial review of the circumstances that led to her getting pulled out of the car in the first place and the cop should have been fired immediately.
00:07:42.000 You're screaming at her because she lit a cigarette?
00:07:44.000 In her own car?
00:07:45.000 Meanwhile, this is fascinating, and I feel like, I don't know, you and I are probably the same age.
00:07:51.000 So the cop's 29. If you grew up with cigarettes...
00:07:57.000 You have a different understanding of the meaning of lighting a cigarette.
00:08:00.000 So what's happening in the encounter is he pulls her over.
00:08:04.000 What he does is he sees her coming out of this university campus, and while she's still on campus property, she rolls through a stop sign.
00:08:13.000 And then he notices that she's got out-of-state plates, and she's a young black woman, and she's driving a Hyundai, like not a Mercedes Benz.
00:08:22.000 And he thinks, huh.
00:08:24.000 I'm going to check this out.
00:08:25.000 So she pulls onto the road and he drives up behind her aggressively.
00:08:31.000 He speeds up behind her.
00:08:33.000 So what does she do?
00:08:34.000 Well, what any of us would do, she gets out of the way thinking, oh, he's going to the scene of an accident or something.
00:08:41.000 I better get out of his way.
00:08:42.000 She pulls over to get out of his way and he goes, oh, you didn't use your turning signal.
00:08:46.000 And he pulls her over and pulls him behind her.
00:08:49.000 By the way, whenever I hear a Fire department truck or a police car coming and I pull over to get out of the way, I do not use my turning signal.
00:08:58.000 You just get out of the way.
00:09:00.000 It's reflexive.
00:09:01.000 So her immediate thought is when he does this, it's like, oh, This is bullshit and he tricked me.
00:09:07.000 And he knows what he's doing.
00:09:08.000 That's exactly what he wanted.
00:09:10.000 He wanted to get her in a situation because it's all a pretext.
00:09:12.000 He just wants – he thinks, oh, maybe there's something weird with her.
00:09:15.000 So then he – we have this all on tape, of course, because this is one of those instances that was captured entirely on the dash cam, the officer's dash cam.
00:09:25.000 He goes up to the window and he says – He looks at her and he realizes she's agitated.
00:09:30.000 Why?
00:09:31.000 Because she's pissed off.
00:09:32.000 And he goes, ma'am, is there something wrong?
00:09:35.000 And she's like, well, you know, I want to know why I'm pulled over.
00:09:39.000 And then he goes back to his car and he comes back to her.
00:09:42.000 And he later says in the deposition that when he goes back to his vehicle to check on her license and registration, he begins to develop suspicions that she's up to no good, she's got drugs or guns.
00:09:55.000 And so she comes back and they commence to have this increasingly heated conversation.
00:10:01.000 And she lights the cigarette because she's trying to calm herself down.
00:10:08.000 And this is my point.
00:10:09.000 You and I, who grew up in an era where people smoked all the time, know that one of the principal functions of lighting a cigarette was to calm your nerves.
00:10:17.000 And in her mind, I think, in her mind, she's trying to signal to the cop, let's de-escalate this.
00:10:24.000 And one of the ways I'm going to show you that I want to de-escalate this is I'm going to take a moment and light a cigarette and just take it down a notch and let's have a real conversation.
00:10:35.000 He doesn't understand the meaning of that gesture.
00:10:38.000 And he thinks, oh.
00:10:39.000 He thinks several things.
00:10:41.000 He thinks, one, she's He has all these kind of weird...
00:10:57.000 I think?
00:11:19.000 And that's still more evidence why you need, if you're a cop or anyone dealing with a stranger, you need to slow down and not jump to any conclusions because there's so much you can miss.
00:11:31.000 What it seemed to me when I listened to it initially and then I listened to it again in your audio book, There's a thing that happens with police officers.
00:11:40.000 I've never been a police officer, but I was a security guard for a brief period of time, and I recognized it in myself, and I recognized it in a lot of people that I work with, is that you start treating the other people like the other.
00:11:52.000 Like, it's us and them.
00:11:55.000 It was us.
00:11:56.000 I worked at Great Woods.
00:11:58.000 It's a performance center in Mansfield, Massachusetts.
00:12:01.000 It's like this...
00:12:02.000 And we would catch a lot of people smuggling booze in, things like that.
00:12:07.000 And there was an attitude that you got, and I was only there for one summer, but there's an attitude of they were the bad people.
00:12:17.000 You were the good guys.
00:12:18.000 It was us and them, and we stuck together, and they weren't us.
00:12:22.000 And cops get that a hundred times worse.
00:12:26.000 Because there's guns involved and they can get shot at.
00:12:29.000 We've all seen videos of cops pulling people over and he says, can I see your hands please?
00:12:35.000 And the guy pulls out a gun and shoots at him.
00:12:36.000 We've all seen those videos.
00:12:38.000 This is always in the back of the mind of cops.
00:12:42.000 And I think that was just a guy who, as you said, 29 years old, is a young guy.
00:12:47.000 He's not that bright, not good at communication.
00:12:51.000 And he has this attitude that he's a cop and that you have to listen to the cops because he's them and you're you.
00:12:58.000 And that's like when he's telling her to put the cigarette out and she's saying, I don't have to do that.
00:13:05.000 And he's saying, get out of your vehicle.
00:13:06.000 And she's saying, I don't have to do that.
00:13:08.000 And then he's screaming at her.
00:13:09.000 I mean, that's all right there.
00:13:11.000 I mean, that's what it seems like to me.
00:13:12.000 He wants compliance.
00:13:13.000 He wants her to listen.
00:13:15.000 He does.
00:13:15.000 Yeah, he does want...
00:13:16.000 He gets...
00:13:17.000 It's funny.
00:13:19.000 What's remarkable about that tape, which I must have seen 50 times, and which has been viewed on YouTube, you know, even a couple million times, is how quickly it escalates.
00:13:31.000 The whole thing is...
00:13:33.000 It's insanely short.
00:13:35.000 You would think if I was telling you the story of this, you would think, oh, this unfolds over 10 minutes.
00:13:42.000 And it doesn't.
00:13:43.000 It unfolds over a minute and a half.
00:13:46.000 I remember years ago I wrote my second book, Blink, and I have in that book a chapter about a very famous, infamous police shooting in New York, a case of Amadou Diallo.
00:13:58.000 I remember that one.
00:13:59.000 Remember that one where he was shot like 40 times by cops?
00:14:01.000 Yeah.
00:14:02.000 And one of the big things I was interested in talking about in that case was how long did it take for that whole...
00:14:12.000 Terrible sequence to go down.
00:14:14.000 So from the moment the police develop suspicions about Amadou Diallo to the moment that Amadou Diallo is lying dead on his front porch, how long – how much time elapsed?
00:14:26.000 And the answer is like two seconds.
00:14:28.000 It's boom, boom, boom.
00:14:29.000 It's like – and I had a conversation with – actually here in the valley with Gavin DeBecker.
00:14:38.000 Has he ever been on your show?
00:14:39.000 No.
00:14:40.000 Fascinating guy.
00:14:41.000 He's a security expert, right?
00:14:43.000 Yeah, security expert.
00:14:44.000 Incredibly interesting guy.
00:14:45.000 He's friends with Sam Harris.
00:14:46.000 I know that.
00:14:47.000 He is.
00:14:47.000 Yeah.
00:14:49.000 And he was talking about this question of time, that when you're a security guard guarding someone famous, a lot of what you're trying to do is to inject time into the scenario.
00:15:03.000 Instead of, you don't want something to unfold in a second and a half where you have almost no time to react properly.
00:15:08.000 What you want to do is to unfold in five seconds.
00:15:11.000 If you can add, oh, I'm making this up.
00:15:13.000 I can't remember his exact term.
00:15:14.000 But basically what your job is, is to add seconds into the encounter so that you have a chance to intelligently respond to what's going on.
00:15:25.000 And so he hit this great riff.
00:15:27.000 About how good Israeli Secret Service guys are.
00:15:33.000 And one of the things they do is they're either not armed or they're trained not to go for their weapons in these situations.
00:15:43.000 Because his point is, so say you're guarding the president.
00:15:46.000 You're a body man for the president.
00:15:48.000 You're walking through a crowd.
00:15:49.000 Somebody comes up to you, like pulls a gun.
00:15:54.000 The point is, if you're the secret security guy and your first instinct in response to someone pulling a gun is to go for your own gun, you've lost a second and a half, right?
00:16:05.000 Your hand's got to go down to your – your whole focus is on getting to your own gun.
00:16:08.000 And in the meantime, the other guy whose gun's already out has already shot.
00:16:13.000 You've lost.
00:16:14.000 You need to be someone who forgets about your own gun and just focuses on the man in front of you, right, and protecting the president.
00:16:22.000 But it was all in the context of time is this really crucial variable in these kind of encounters.
00:16:30.000 And everything as a police officer you should be doing is slowing it down.
00:16:35.000 Wait, you know, analyze what's happening.
00:16:39.000 And that's what he doesn't do.
00:16:41.000 The competence instance speeds it up, right?
00:16:44.000 He goes to DEFCON, you know, she lights a cigarette and within seconds he's screaming at her.
00:16:50.000 This is, you know, a parent shouldn't do that.
00:16:53.000 I mean, let alone a police officer by the side of the highway.
00:16:56.000 Right, but the difference is he knows she's not a criminal.
00:16:59.000 I mean, he must know.
00:17:01.000 It's bullshit.
00:17:02.000 He's pulling her over because he's trying to write a ticket.
00:17:04.000 And the way he's communicating with her when she lights a cigarette, it's like she's inferior.
00:17:11.000 This is not someone who's scared.
00:17:14.000 He's not scared of a perpetrator.
00:17:16.000 He's not scared that there's a criminal in the car about to shoot him.
00:17:19.000 He's not scared of that at all.
00:17:20.000 He wants utter, total, complete compliance.
00:17:24.000 And he's talking to her like he's a drill sergeant.
00:17:28.000 But can't both those things be true?
00:17:32.000 How so?
00:17:33.000 Well, so in the deposition he gives, which I got to the end of the book, and I got the tape of the deposition.
00:17:38.000 It's totally fascinating.
00:17:40.000 It's like he's sitting down with the investigating officer looking into the death of Sandra Bland.
00:17:46.000 And he's got, I don't know how long it is, two hours.
00:17:48.000 And he's walking them through what he was thinking that day.
00:17:52.000 And he makes the case that he was terrified, that he was convinced.
00:17:58.000 He says he goes back to his squad car.
00:18:01.000 He comes up and there's some evidence to support this.
00:18:04.000 So he pulls her over and he goes to the passenger side window.
00:18:08.000 And leans in and says, ma'am, you realize why I pulled you over, blah, blah, blah.
00:18:12.000 And says, are you okay?
00:18:14.000 Because she doesn't seem right to him.
00:18:16.000 She gives him her license.
00:18:17.000 He goes back to his squad car.
00:18:19.000 And he says, while he's in the squad car, he looks ahead and he sees her making what he calls flirtive movements.
00:18:26.000 So he's like – Furtive movements also.
00:18:28.000 He thinks she's being all kind of jumpy and – you don't know.
00:18:32.000 He just says, I saw her moving around in ways that didn't make me happy.
00:18:35.000 And then when he returns to the car, he returns driver's side, which is crucial because if you're a cop, you go driver's side only if you think that you might be in danger, right?
00:18:45.000 Yeah.
00:18:45.000 If you go driver's side, you're exposing yourself to the road.
00:18:48.000 The only reason you do that is that when you're driver's side, you can see the...
00:18:52.000 It's very, very difficult, if someone has a gun, to shoot the police officer who's pulled them over if the police officer is on the driver's side.
00:19:00.000 You have an angle if they're on the passenger's side.
00:19:03.000 So why does he go...
00:19:04.000 If he thinks she's harmless, there's no reason for him to go back driver's side.
00:19:07.000 I think this guy...
00:19:08.000 I think these two things are linked.
00:19:09.000 I actually believe him.
00:19:11.000 He constructs this ridiculous...
00:19:14.000 Fantasy about how she's dangerous.
00:19:16.000 But I think that's just what he was trained to do.
00:19:19.000 He's a paranoid cop.
00:19:21.000 And then why is he so insistent that she be compliant for the same reason?
00:19:26.000 Because he's terrified.
00:19:28.000 He's like, do exactly what I say because I don't know what's going to happen here, right?
00:19:32.000 And she's – I don't know.
00:19:35.000 I don't think those two strains of interpretation are mutually exclusive.
00:19:44.000 That's interesting.
00:19:45.000 It didn't sound like he was scared at all.
00:19:47.000 It sounded like he was pissed that she wasn't listening to him.
00:19:51.000 I didn't think he sounded even remotely scared.
00:19:54.000 I felt like he had, I mean, we're reading into it, right?
00:19:58.000 I have no idea.
00:20:00.000 From my interpretation was, he had decided that she wasn't listening to him, and he was going to make her listen to him.
00:20:07.000 That's what I got out of it.
00:20:08.000 I didn't get any fear, and I thought that version of it that he described just sounds like horseshit.
00:20:14.000 It sounds like what you would say after the fact to strengthen your case.
00:20:18.000 Well, so there's another element here that I get into, which is I got his record as a police officer.
00:20:26.000 So he'd been on the force for, I forgot, nine, ten months.
00:20:29.000 And we have a record of every traffic stop he ever made.
00:20:32.000 And when you look at his list of traffic stops, you realize that what happened that day with Sandra Bland was not an anomaly.
00:20:42.000 That he's one of those guys who pulls over everyone for bullshit reasons all day long.
00:20:47.000 So I think I've forgotten the exact number, but in the hour before he pulled over Sandra Bland, he pulled over four people, four other people, for equally ridiculous reasons.
00:20:57.000 He's that cop.
00:20:58.000 And he's that cop because he's been trained that way, right?
00:21:02.000 They have quotas.
00:21:03.000 That's a kind of strain of modern policing which says, go beyond the ticket.
00:21:07.000 Pull someone over if anything looks a little bit weird because you might find something else.
00:21:11.000 Now, if you look at his history as a cop, he almost never found anything else.
00:21:15.000 His history as a cop, in fact, I went through this, I forget how many hundreds of traffic stops he had in nine months.
00:21:22.000 If you go through them, he has like, once he found some marijuana on a kid, and by the way, the town in which he was working is a college town, so, I mean, how hard is that?
00:21:31.000 I think he found a gun once, misdemeanor gun, and But everything else was like pulling over people for the light above their license plate was out.
00:21:44.000 That's the level of stuff he was using.
00:21:46.000 He did this all day long every day.
00:21:51.000 So he's like – to him it's second nature.
00:21:54.000 Yeah, pull her over.
00:21:55.000 Like who knows what's going on.
00:21:57.000 She's out of state.
00:21:58.000 She's a young black woman.
00:21:59.000 Was this comparable to the way the rest of the cops in the force in his – Well, I didn't look at the rest of the cops on his force.
00:22:08.000 What I looked at were state numbers.
00:22:12.000 Several American states give us, like North Carolina for example, will give us precise, complete statistics on the number of traffic stops done by their police officers and the reasons for those stops.
00:22:29.000 So when you look at that, so I look at the North Carolina numbers.
00:22:32.000 For example, in the North Carolina Highway Patrol, it's the same thing.
00:22:35.000 They're pulling over unbelievable numbers of people and finding nothing.
00:22:40.000 Less than 1% hit rates in some cases of being a hit rate being finding something of interest.
00:22:47.000 So they're pulling over 99 people for no reason in order to find one person who's got a bag of dope or something in the car.
00:22:56.000 You cannot conduct policing in a civil society like that and expect to have decent relationships between law enforcement and the civilian population.
00:23:07.000 Yeah, no question.
00:23:09.000 But doesn't that sort of support the idea that he's full of shit, that he was really concerned that she had something?
00:23:13.000 He had never encountered anything.
00:23:17.000 Well, or...
00:23:18.000 This was the one.
00:23:19.000 The fantasy in his head is so...
00:23:20.000 So the question is, why does he keep doing it?
00:23:23.000 This is a guy who day in, day out pulls over people for no reason and finds nothing and continues to do it.
00:23:28.000 Now, there's two explanations.
00:23:29.000 One is, he's totally cynical and thinks this is the way to be an effective police officer.
00:23:34.000 Explanation number two is, this is a guy who has a powerful fantasy in his head that one day...
00:23:40.000 I'm going to hit the jackpot.
00:23:41.000 I'm going to open the trunk and there's going to be 15 pounds of heroin and I'm going to be the biggest star who ever lived.
00:23:47.000 I think there's also a rush of just being able to get people to pull over.
00:23:51.000 The compliance thing, which is another reason why he was so furious that she wasn't listening to him.
00:23:56.000 Yeah.
00:23:56.000 And she kept the cigarette lit.
00:23:58.000 Yeah.
00:23:58.000 Or she was listening but not complying.
00:24:00.000 Yes.
00:24:02.000 What are the laws?
00:24:03.000 I mean, are you allowed to smoke a cigarette in your car when a cop pulls you over?
00:24:07.000 How does it work like that?
00:24:09.000 Yeah.
00:24:10.000 I mean, of course.
00:24:11.000 Yeah, they can't stop you from engaging.
00:24:12.000 They can't tell you to put out your cigarette.
00:24:15.000 There's no law.
00:24:16.000 No, he could have said.
00:24:18.000 I mean, no, there's no law.
00:24:19.000 I mean, although two things.
00:24:22.000 The courts historically give enormous leeway to the police officers in a traffic stop as opposed to a person-to-person stop.
00:24:30.000 But no, I mean this is about what he should have said is – he could have said, ma'am, do you mind?
00:24:41.000 I would prefer if you put out the cigarette while we're talking or I'm allergic to smoke or whatever.
00:24:46.000 I mean there's a million ways for him to do it nicely.
00:24:49.000 The point is he's a jackass about it.
00:24:51.000 But he's basically doing the job like a jackass.
00:24:55.000 He's doing a jackass version of being a cop.
00:24:57.000 Well, so this is one of a really, really crucial point in the argument of the book, which is I think the real lesson of that case is not that he's a bad cop.
00:25:08.000 He's in fact doing precisely as he was trained and instructed to do.
00:25:14.000 He's the ideal cop.
00:25:17.000 And the problem is with the particular philosophy of law enforcement that has emerged over the last 10 years in this country, which has incentivized and encouraged police officers to engage in these incredibly low-reward activities,
00:25:33.000 like pulling over 100 people in order to find one person who's got something wrong.
00:25:37.000 That has become enshrined in the strategy of many police forces around the country.
00:25:42.000 They tell them to do this.
00:25:44.000 I have a A whole section of the book where I go through in detail one of the most important police training manuals, which is, you know, required reading for somebody coming up, in which they just walk you through this.
00:25:56.000 Like, it is your job to pull over lots and lots and lots and lots of people, even if you only find something in a small percentage of cases.
00:26:05.000 Why?
00:26:05.000 That's what being a proactive police officer is all about, right?
00:26:08.000 So they are trained to—that phrase, go beyond the ticket— It's a term of art in police training.
00:26:16.000 Like, you've got to be thinking.
00:26:17.000 Sure, you pull them over for having a taillight that's out, but you're thinking beyond that.
00:26:22.000 Is there something else in the car that's problematic?
00:26:25.000 That's what you're trying to find.
00:26:26.000 So there he was being a dutiful person.
00:26:30.000 Police officer.
00:26:31.000 And the answer is to re-examine our philosophies of law enforcement.
00:26:37.000 You can't dismiss this thing by saying, oh, that's just a particularly bad cop.
00:26:42.000 It's not great, but I don't know if he's any worse than, you know, he's just doing what he was trained to do.
00:26:47.000 That's the issue.
00:26:48.000 He should be trained to do something different.
00:26:49.000 Right.
00:26:50.000 That is the issue, right?
00:26:51.000 The issue is this is standard practice to treat citizens that are doing nothing wrong As if they're criminals.
00:26:59.000 Yeah.
00:26:59.000 And pull them over and give them extreme paranoia and freak them out.
00:27:03.000 Yeah.
00:27:04.000 I hope you find something.
00:27:05.000 I was home.
00:27:06.000 I'm Canadian.
00:27:07.000 And I was home in Canada, small-town Canada, a couple weeks ago.
00:27:11.000 And I saw on the back, you know, how police cars often have their slogan on the side of the car or the back of the car.
00:27:18.000 Mm-hmm.
00:27:18.000 So in my little hometown in southwestern Ontario, sleepy farm country, the slogan on the back of the police cars is people helping people.
00:27:29.000 It's so Canadian.
00:27:30.000 It is so Canadian.
00:27:31.000 It's so awesome.
00:27:33.000 Now, understand that this is a country with...
00:27:36.000 Very, very low levels of gun ownership, which means that a police officer does not enter into an encounter with a civilian with the same degree of fear or paranoia that the civilian has a handgun, right?
00:27:46.000 Which is a big part of this.
00:27:49.000 Regardless of how one feels about gun laws in this country, the fact that there are lots of guns makes the job of a police officer a lot harder, and every police officer will tell you that.
00:27:57.000 In Canada, you don't have that fear.
00:27:59.000 But it's also Canada, and it's small-town Canada.
00:28:02.000 And so when you encounter a police officer in my little town...
00:28:05.000 He's like, he's people helping people.
00:28:07.000 He's like, he's like driving like a Camry and he's, you know, he's like this genial person who...
00:28:14.000 Was it really a Camry?
00:28:14.000 I mean, I'd forgotten exactly what they're driving.
00:28:16.000 They're not driving...
00:28:19.000 Cop cars.
00:28:19.000 Yeah, explorers painted black with like big bull bars at the front.
00:28:24.000 Right.
00:28:25.000 And then you go, you know, you go, I mean, even in LA, like the cars are painted black and white.
00:28:33.000 They look, they look ferocious.
00:28:35.000 Right.
00:28:35.000 I mean, the whole thing is...
00:28:36.000 Is that what it is?
00:28:37.000 They look ferocious?
00:28:38.000 I think they just look...
00:28:39.000 They identify as police.
00:28:41.000 To a Canadian, it looks...
00:28:42.000 To me, it looks a little...
00:28:44.000 Why do they have to paint them black?
00:28:46.000 It's not the Oakland Raiders.
00:28:47.000 I mean, it's like...
00:28:49.000 What do you think they should paint them?
00:28:51.000 Something mild and...
00:28:52.000 Like bright yellow?
00:28:53.000 Something lovely.
00:28:54.000 Something warm.
00:28:55.000 Like a nice...
00:28:56.000 Can you imagine like a teal or a lime green?
00:28:59.000 Well, that would be, yeah, because there's a lot of black cars and a lot of white cars, not a lot of teal cars.
00:29:04.000 Let's go with teal.
00:29:04.000 Yeah, it would stand out.
00:29:06.000 Like, oh, it's a cop.
00:29:07.000 It's a pink car.
00:29:09.000 But, you know, this kind of symbolism matters.
00:29:13.000 Right.
00:29:14.000 Right?
00:29:14.000 You're projecting an image.
00:29:15.000 Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who makes all of his prisoners wear pink.
00:29:19.000 Yeah.
00:29:19.000 Yeah, that kind of thing.
00:29:21.000 Well, I mean, against his point, though, how many women shoot cops?
00:29:27.000 Isn't that an insanely low number?
00:29:29.000 Yeah.
00:29:29.000 I mean, insanely low.
00:29:31.000 What are the numbers?
00:29:33.000 I mean, it's probably almost non-existent.
00:29:35.000 Yeah.
00:29:35.000 When guys pull over women, I don't think they're worried about being shot.
00:29:38.000 I really don't.
00:29:40.000 I think it's horseshit.
00:29:41.000 I think it's all after the fact.
00:29:43.000 He was trying to concoct some sort of an excuse.
00:29:46.000 Is he still on the force?
00:29:48.000 No.
00:29:50.000 He's kicked off for, I've forgotten the precise language they use, but for basically being impolite to a civilian.
00:30:00.000 But yeah, I don't think there's a lot of, but I don't, I mean, I still think we're saying the same thing, which is the thing that's driving him, his motivation, is not rational, right?
00:30:13.000 And if you were a rational actor, you would never engage in an activity where 99.9% of your police stops...
00:30:21.000 Resulted in nothing.
00:30:22.000 He is off in some weird kind of fantasy land for a reason, which is that's what, in certain jurisdictions in this country, that's what law enforcement has come to look like.
00:30:34.000 That's problematic.
00:30:36.000 It's a huge problem.
00:30:37.000 Yeah, the power trip aspect of it.
00:30:40.000 I mean...
00:30:41.000 I've often said, what would they do?
00:30:44.000 Because there are certain areas where police officers do have quotas, where they have to write a certain amount of tickets.
00:30:50.000 What would they do if no one broke the law for six months?
00:30:54.000 Welcome to...
00:30:55.000 That's what small-town Canada is.
00:30:57.000 Yeah, right?
00:30:57.000 That's right.
00:30:58.000 But what would they do?
00:30:59.000 I mean, I would really be curious, like, what would happen to the numbers?
00:31:03.000 Because what you're saying, that they use people as an ATM, they really do.
00:31:07.000 I mean, people are...
00:31:08.000 They're glorified revenue collectors.
00:31:10.000 They're pulling people over, trying to write huge tickets, and I believe it's North Carolina where you're talking about that's got this...
00:31:17.000 Creepy law that they've recently, I think they've recently changed it, where you're allowed to just confiscate people's money.
00:31:24.000 Because if you see, like, I pull you over, hey, Malcolm, why do you have $3,000 on you?
00:31:29.000 You have $3,000 in cash?
00:31:31.000 What are you doing with $3,000?
00:31:34.000 Give me that money.
00:31:35.000 And they take it, and you have to prove that you weren't going to buy heroin or buy illegal guns or whatever.
00:31:41.000 And then most of that money wound up going to the police department.
00:31:45.000 So they used it to build a fucking gym for the cops or whatever.
00:31:49.000 I mean, it was literally they had an incentive to keep the money.
00:31:52.000 And is that North Carolina that they did that?
00:31:56.000 There's a number of states that have those confiscations.
00:31:59.000 Civil forfeiture laws.
00:32:00.000 Civil forfeiture laws, yeah.
00:32:02.000 And they're really gross.
00:32:03.000 Do they still have that?
00:32:04.000 I mean, I know it's extremely controversial, and people are up in arms and furious that their money has been stolen.
00:32:11.000 People are on their way to buy a car, for instance, and they get pulled over, and the cop will just take all the money.
00:32:17.000 This is what...
00:32:19.000 I talk a little bit about the Ferguson case in my book later on, and this is what Ferguson was ultimately about.
00:32:25.000 The focus in the Ferguson case was whether the officer in that case is Darren Wilson, what he did and didn't do to Michael Brown.
00:32:33.000 But the real story, when the Department of Justice investigated, the real story is not the encounter between those two.
00:32:40.000 It is that...
00:32:43.000 I think we're good to go.
00:33:12.000 And ends up writing eight tickets, including – he accuses the guy of being a pedophile, gets him for – one of the things he gets him is putting a false name on his driver's license when his driver's license – his real name was like Michael and his driver's license said Mike.
00:33:29.000 Like that's the level of eight tickets, right?
00:33:33.000 That was routine practice.
00:33:34.000 So you – there's a reason why a kid like Michael Brown in Ferguson is – It gets really angry at law enforcement because law enforcement was a completely discredited institution in that city.
00:33:48.000 For years and years and years and years and years, they had been basically praying.
00:33:52.000 They had been praying on the lower-income community of that town.
00:33:57.000 So, of course, relationships between the population and the cops had reached a low ebb.
00:34:03.000 That's a real – it's funny.
00:34:08.000 One of the reasons I wanted to write this book was the kind of conversations we have around these things.
00:34:13.000 Ferguson is a great example.
00:34:15.000 Ninety-five percent of the conversation about Ferguson was just about trying to break down what happened between a cop and Michael Brown.
00:34:20.000 And the issue, when we finally look at it in a systematic manner, we realize, oh, no, no, no.
00:34:25.000 It's not about that.
00:34:26.000 It is about a system that had been in place for years and years and years and years in which the African-American population in that town had been preyed upon by the police department.
00:34:38.000 That is the broader – and you cannot come to an understanding of what happened with Michael Brown until you're willing to engage that case on that much more broader systemic level.
00:34:51.000 When you make the title of this book, Talking to Strangers, do you have a goal that you're trying to achieve?
00:34:58.000 Are you trying to illuminate a certain aspect of communication?
00:35:02.000 Are you trying to highlight issues that people have had with these stories, like the Michael Brown story?
00:35:08.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to...
00:35:12.000 I wanted to sort of start with the premise of why are we so bad at, you know, like I tell the story in a book of the Larry Nassar case at Michigan State.
00:35:22.000 Which one's that?
00:35:23.000 That's the guy, remember the doctor for the gymnastics team?
00:35:26.000 Oh, yes.
00:35:26.000 Who turns out to have been sexually molesting.
00:35:29.000 Huge pedophile.
00:35:29.000 Yeah, huge pedophile.
00:35:30.000 So there you have a case where everyone thinks they know this guy.
00:35:34.000 He's their friend.
00:35:35.000 He's this gifted doctor.
00:35:37.000 The parents are willingly bringing their kids to be treated by him.
00:35:40.000 The parents are in the room while he is abusing their kids and they don't see it.
00:35:48.000 The kids are saying something weird happened and the parents are dismissing it.
00:35:52.000 That's a good example of...
00:35:55.000 A phenomenon that I wanted to try and explain, which is how is that possible?
00:35:59.000 How can we think we know someone and be so completely wrong?
00:36:05.000 How can you take your kid to a doctor and think the doctor is the greatest possible doctor and in fact what he's doing is abusing your child in front of you, right?
00:36:14.000 And that's a very similar kind of problem to Bernie Madoff.
00:36:18.000 People invested their life savings with this guy.
00:36:22.000 Not little old ladies in Dubuque.
00:36:26.000 Sophisticated, savvy, incredibly intelligent investors handed over millions of dollars to this guy who was...
00:36:35.000 Not even – I mean the Madoff fraud was so outrageous.
00:36:40.000 He didn't even bother to – he didn't even put it in T-bills.
00:36:43.000 I mean he just spent it.
00:36:45.000 It was just like crazy.
00:36:47.000 What's T-bills?
00:36:48.000 Treasury bills.
00:36:49.000 Oh.
00:36:49.000 I mean he wasn't even – he was 100 percent – Yes.
00:36:57.000 And people over the course of 20 years wrote check after check after check after check to him thinking he was this brilliant investor.
00:37:07.000 It's like that's a puzzle.
00:37:08.000 That's what I wanted to get at.
00:37:09.000 But people did recognize that something was wrong, right?
00:37:13.000 Yeah.
00:37:13.000 There were financial analysts that were saying that this doesn't make sense.
00:37:16.000 A few of them, but it's funny.
00:37:19.000 My favorite story in the Madoff chapter is the greatest hedge fund in the world is Renaissance Technologies.
00:37:27.000 These are the guys out in Long Island who have had like 30% returns for 25 years.
00:37:33.000 They're like all PhD AI geniuses, literally geniuses.
00:37:39.000 And they found themselves, years before Badoff was busted, they found themselves with, I think, $30 million in a Madoff fund because of some complicated transaction.
00:37:50.000 And they're all geniuses.
00:37:51.000 So they look at what Madoff's doing and they're like, hmm, that doesn't look good.
00:37:53.000 Like, that doesn't make any sense to me.
00:37:55.000 And so, like, what should we do?
00:37:57.000 We have $30 million stake in a fund and we don't understand what the guy's doing.
00:38:01.000 And you would think, logically, they would sell their stake.
00:38:05.000 They don't.
00:38:06.000 Because it's returning.
00:38:07.000 No.
00:38:07.000 In fact, it's not even returning that.
00:38:09.000 Their own legit returns are twice his illegitimate returns.
00:38:13.000 Really?
00:38:14.000 They actually make the point that his returns are really low for us.
00:38:17.000 Like, there's no reason for us to keep their money.
00:38:18.000 But they don't sell!
00:38:20.000 So that's what I was trying to understand.
00:38:21.000 Like, they can't even, you know, there's this notion I talk about, but it's called default to truth, which is this idea from a researcher called Tim Levine, which is, as human beings, we're trusting engines.
00:38:33.000 We are evolved We're good to go.
00:39:06.000 We're good to go.
00:39:27.000 100% of the time.
00:39:29.000 So multiply that out times a million years of human history, you realize trusting genes beat paranoid genes every day of the week, right?
00:39:38.000 So that's what we are.
00:39:39.000 We're credulous by evolutionary choice.
00:39:43.000 So those guys at Renaissance, they're no different.
00:39:50.000 They may be smarter than the rest of us, but they're not constructed differently.
00:39:53.000 I think?
00:40:09.000 How would you even invest in anything if you were crazy and paranoid?
00:40:13.000 There was a lot of people that were really intelligent that invested in Bernie Madoff's hedge fund, too.
00:40:18.000 Steven Spielberg was one of them.
00:40:19.000 He lost a shit ton of money.
00:40:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:21.000 I mean, look at the roster list.
00:40:23.000 You cannot point to an unsophisticated investor on the list of people who lost the most money.
00:40:29.000 Every one of them was smart.
00:40:30.000 That's strange.
00:40:31.000 It's so crazy.
00:40:32.000 It is crazy.
00:40:33.000 Think about it.
00:40:34.000 And by the way...
00:40:35.000 Getting a decent return in the market is super easy.
00:40:38.000 You go to Vanguard and they – they'll give you the market return.
00:40:44.000 You're in your – it's not that hard.
00:40:45.000 But these people are like – they wanted to do something fancier and that's what happened.
00:40:51.000 Well, he, when you realize what a sociopath he actually was, is in the interviews after he's caught, where he's demanding certain things and complaining about certain things, he doesn't seem to have any remorse.
00:41:04.000 He wants better treatment, he wants better food, he doesn't seem to have any remorse that he's literally robbed people of their retirement.
00:41:12.000 Ruined the last part of their lives where they thought they were going to have a considerable sum of money to sit back and just enjoy their grandchildren.
00:41:20.000 No, now they're broke.
00:41:22.000 Now they're poor.
00:41:23.000 Now they have to figure out a way to get by and eat.
00:41:25.000 He doesn't give a shit.
00:41:27.000 He doesn't.
00:41:28.000 In fact, what's weird, there's so many things weird about the Madoff case.
00:41:33.000 One of them is we forget that he doesn't get caught.
00:41:36.000 He turns himself in.
00:41:38.000 And he turns himself in because – not because he's screwing up but because he's quote unquote so good.
00:41:46.000 Because remember the financial crisis hits in 2008 and his clients are losing so much money on their legit investments.
00:41:55.000 That they go to Madoff and say, can I have some of my money back from you?
00:41:57.000 I've got to pay off all the stuff I've done that has gone sour.
00:42:01.000 So, like, in effect, no one ever caught him.
00:42:04.000 He gets caught by a once-in-a-million circumstance where he's the only one making any money for his clients, so they come after him.
00:42:14.000 My point is, if you...
00:42:16.000 If you're totally rational and you look at this, you say, here's a guy who managed to bamboozle the most sophisticated people in the world to the tune of billions of dollars for 25 years and only gets caught because we had a once-in-a-lifetime financial meltdown.
00:42:29.000 Isn't the rational lesson of that that we should all be Bernie Madoffs?
00:42:33.000 Right?
00:42:34.000 It's like super easy.
00:42:35.000 It's like not that hard.
00:42:37.000 All I have to do is, you know, he dressed really nicely.
00:42:41.000 I get really nice office space on the east side of Manhattan.
00:42:44.000 What did he actually do?
00:42:46.000 Nothing.
00:42:46.000 Really didn't invest in anything.
00:42:48.000 He just moved other people's money around and he ran a Ponzi scheme.
00:42:51.000 He spent a lot of it.
00:42:53.000 And how did his sons not catch on to this?
00:42:56.000 That's a good question.
00:42:58.000 Because they're not being...
00:42:59.000 Well, one of them committed suicide, remember?
00:43:01.000 Right.
00:43:01.000 That's right.
00:43:02.000 And then...
00:43:03.000 So it's an open question of...
00:43:05.000 How much they do.
00:43:06.000 How much anyone else knew.
00:43:09.000 I... You know, the older I get, the more I believe in the powers of...
00:43:15.000 Particularly within family denial is something now I don't find hard to believe.
00:43:22.000 So your ability, I've now heard so many stories of, you know, a parent is some kind of monster and family members just won't see it.
00:43:33.000 They just can't bring themselves to go that.
00:43:36.000 So did they know something?
00:43:38.000 Everyone knew there was something slightly fishy in what Bernie was doing.
00:43:41.000 But they never went so far as to think that he was just making it up.
00:43:46.000 So they knew something was up, but they didn't know it was 100% horseshit.
00:43:50.000 They thought that he was – so there were some – people thought that he actually had investments, but he was – there was a suspicion, for example, that he was front-running, that because he had a larger business sort of managing the deal flow in the NASDAQ – That he would get advance word of where money was flowing and he would jump ahead of the queue,
00:44:14.000 buy stocks before other people did, and profit off when the stock would rise.
00:44:18.000 He would just sell and profit off that difference.
00:44:20.000 So there was a feeling that he had a dubious kind of I don't know.
00:44:49.000 I forget.
00:44:49.000 I think they took...
00:44:50.000 I can't remember the exact number.
00:44:52.000 I think they got...
00:44:52.000 He had two confederates, I think, who went down with him.
00:44:56.000 That's it?
00:44:56.000 I think that's what...
00:44:57.000 In retrospect, it's a really...
00:45:00.000 It's one of these crazy...
00:45:02.000 It's one of these crazy...
00:45:03.000 You'd think that whole institutions would have fallen.
00:45:06.000 Yes.
00:45:07.000 No.
00:45:07.000 Did you ever hear the conversation that he had?
00:45:10.000 I believe it was recorded somehow on a phone or something, or maybe it was...
00:45:16.000 After he was in jail, he was talking about trying to get money back from one of his biggest investors.
00:45:23.000 The guy had gotten like a billion dollars from him over the years.
00:45:26.000 That's right.
00:45:27.000 That's right.
00:45:27.000 That's right.
00:45:28.000 He's like, you got to give the money back.
00:45:29.000 He's like, fuck you.
00:45:30.000 I'm not giving you shit.
00:45:32.000 And there's this crazy conversation where he's basically telling this guy, look, you knew this was bullshit.
00:45:39.000 Mm-hmm.
00:45:39.000 And you are making money off this and now, you know...
00:45:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:45:43.000 So this is like the clever...
00:45:45.000 So if you think about this, that guy, I know exactly what you're talking about.
00:45:48.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 So game this through.
00:45:50.000 Let's do a hypothetical scenario.
00:45:55.000 Okay.
00:45:56.000 You have a friend who's an incredible salesman and has gone around Europe and to Saudi Arabia and raised a $20 million fund, $20 billion fund.
00:46:05.000 And they're promising a 20% return a year on your investment, right?
00:46:10.000 So you give them a million, you're getting $200,000 a year back from this thing.
00:46:15.000 You know it's all bullshit, but no one else does.
00:46:18.000 What is the rational thing for you to do?
00:46:20.000 The rational thing for you to do is to take your, on your million dollar investment, is to take the $200,000 that is made in quotation marks every year out of the fund.
00:46:30.000 So you say, most people, you know, when you invest in stocks, normally what you do is you check the box.
00:46:35.000 I want my, I want any dividends or earnings reinvested in the fund.
00:46:39.000 Don't check the box.
00:46:40.000 Take the real cash.
00:46:42.000 So if you're investing with this phony friend of yours, For 20 years, you're going to get $200,000 a year for 20 years.
00:46:50.000 That's $4 million.
00:46:51.000 You will make $4 million clear out of your $1 million initial investment in 20 years, right?
00:47:02.000 That's smart if you know what's going on.
00:47:05.000 So that's what some people did with...
00:47:07.000 Madoff.
00:47:08.000 They're like, yeah, I don't know what he's doing.
00:47:10.000 These returns are pretty fantastic.
00:47:13.000 I'm just going to take all my earnings off the table every single year.
00:47:17.000 So they are the ones who are the real winners of this whole thing with those people.
00:47:21.000 Because this money is not real.
00:47:22.000 That money is coming from other investors.
00:47:24.000 Nothing is being made actually.
00:47:25.000 What happens with them?
00:47:27.000 Like if a guy does make all these millions of dollars, like that one guy, he had to give some of it back?
00:47:33.000 Yeah.
00:47:33.000 So what happens is they appoint – remember, they appoint after the scandal breaks and made up is invested.
00:47:40.000 They bring in a kind of supervisor, financial supervisor, who has the power to claw back winnings from – money from the people who took cash off the table.
00:47:52.000 So – But not everyone had to claw back and the question was how far back do we go?
00:47:57.000 So if you were investing with Madoff 25 years ago and you took $10 million off the table between 1990 and 1993, do you have to give that up too?
00:48:09.000 Like it gets complicated.
00:48:10.000 Also, how can you prove that he was doing the same activity back then?
00:48:13.000 Exactly.
00:48:13.000 Exactly.
00:48:16.000 The conversation, I really wish I could remember where I was hearing this conversation, but somebody had recorded Madoff talking to this guy, telling him, look, you've got to give that money back.
00:48:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:28.000 My Schwab fund looks better and better all the time.
00:48:32.000 It's just so scary to me that finances and the stock market and all that stuff has always looked like magic.
00:48:38.000 What is going on there?
00:48:39.000 What are they doing?
00:48:40.000 They're moving these numbers around.
00:48:41.000 When you see the ticker tape roll by, what is all that?
00:48:44.000 If you don't have any understanding of it, it's like a foreign language.
00:48:46.000 And so you're hoping that all these geniuses can't be duped.
00:48:50.000 All these people throw in their...
00:48:52.000 Tickets up in the air, and everybody that's like, buy, sell, they all know what's going on.
00:48:56.000 You don't know what's going on, but hey, there's a lot of things you know that they don't know, and this is just how the world works.
00:49:01.000 Turns out, no.
00:49:02.000 Turns out the people that were involved in this crazy, very difficult to understand thing didn't know it either.
00:49:10.000 Like, they barely can understand it.
00:49:12.000 And this guy was just stealing money in some weird way.
00:49:15.000 And if the stock market didn't crash, if we didn't have some sort of a depression...
00:49:21.000 Who knows?
00:49:22.000 He might still be in operation today.
00:49:24.000 Without the crash of 2008, There's a very, very strong possibility that Bernie Madoff would still be going gangbusters.
00:49:31.000 All he has to do to keep surviving is to take in enough money to cover withdrawals.
00:49:38.000 So there's some – like we said, there's some portion of people who are withdrawing their winnings.
00:49:42.000 He just needs to make enough to get enough new money to cover the withdrawal.
00:49:48.000 So he's got a $50 billion hedge fund and let's imagine there's a billion in withdrawals coming out every year.
00:49:55.000 He's got to raise a billion.
00:49:56.000 Now, if you're Bernie and you already have 50, it's not that hard to raise another.
00:50:00.000 And particularly because he had people all around the world and he was giving them these huge fees to raise money for them.
00:50:06.000 So that's the other way.
00:50:08.000 The people who really made money from him were the people who had – I've forgotten what it was, but you would be – say you're Joe, the financial guy in Zurich.
00:50:22.000 You have a whole bunch of wealthy European clients.
00:50:24.000 Bernie would let – for every million you raise for Bernie, Bernie would let you keep – I've forgotten what it was – 100 grand.
00:50:31.000 That's a nice business.
00:50:32.000 That's real money.
00:50:33.000 So you just kick back $900 to Bernie and keep $100,000 and you're free and clear.
00:50:38.000 No one's clawing that back.
00:50:40.000 Those guys got very, very, very wealthy.
00:50:43.000 Oof, that's weird money.
00:50:45.000 You're sitting in your house that's stealing, built.
00:50:49.000 God, that's got to be strange.
00:50:52.000 So what can be learned in terms of communication from the Bernie Madoff story?
00:50:58.000 Well, the The Bernie Madoff story and all of these stories, but this one in particular, goes to this question of we really think we're good at spotting liars and we're not.
00:51:11.000 So virtually every profession that is invested in investigation of human beings has some belief that we know how to...
00:51:21.000 Yes.
00:51:44.000 And some were lying and some would tell the truth.
00:51:46.000 And I asked you, Joe, tell me who's lying and who's not.
00:51:49.000 Your accuracy rate, your success rate would be 52 to 54%.
00:51:56.000 In other words, slightly better than chance.
00:51:58.000 You might as well flip a coin.
00:52:01.000 Slightly better if you don't.
00:52:02.000 And that's not about you.
00:52:04.000 Anyone in that chair...
00:52:06.000 Watching these people parade in front of us is going to do a slightly bit better than chance.
00:52:11.000 And the reason we're slightly better than chance is there are a small fraction of people who are such epically bad liars that we're not going to lose those people.
00:52:20.000 Those are obvious.
00:52:21.000 One thing that you can tell, though, is if it's an area of your own personal expertise, right?
00:52:26.000 Like if someone tried to talk to you about what it takes to write a book and get a book published and get a book on the New York Times bestseller list, and they were just making things up, you would...
00:52:36.000 You would get that.
00:52:37.000 So now we're talking about a separate thing here.
00:52:40.000 Specialists.
00:52:41.000 That's content-based.
00:52:42.000 So if I pretend to be a UFC fighter, you're going to spot my lies in five minutes because you know more about the content than I do.
00:52:51.000 But let's remove – but you're not catching me because I look like I'm lying.
00:52:55.000 You're catching me because I'm saying something that's bullshit.
00:52:57.000 I have a good story about that.
00:52:59.000 Oh, really?
00:52:59.000 I have a good story.
00:53:00.000 I used to think that I was really good at spotting liars.
00:53:02.000 And then I met this guy.
00:53:04.000 I met him through a friend, and I had given myself a pass, and then I met him through this friend, and he was a friend of a friend, so I just assumed he was okay because my friend is a very good friend.
00:53:14.000 And this guy was claiming to be this Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, and he was writing for this online...
00:53:28.000 We're good to go.
00:53:43.000 We're good to go.
00:53:56.000 That he had just learned from my friend.
00:53:58.000 And it's a very difficult move.
00:54:00.000 It's called the Twister.
00:54:01.000 It's basically a guillotine from wrestling and it's set up from a position called side control.
00:54:06.000 It's really complicated.
00:54:07.000 You have to wrap someone's leg around.
00:54:09.000 You have to roll onto your left shoulder.
00:54:10.000 You have to get behind them.
00:54:11.000 You have to grab their arm, put it over your shoulder, grab a hold of their spine.
00:54:15.000 And it's essentially like a spine lock.
00:54:17.000 It's a very difficult move to pull off, and it takes a long time to master the steps.
00:54:23.000 It takes a long time to understand the position.
00:54:25.000 So this guy learned it, and then a couple days later claimed to have pulled it off in Thailand.
00:54:31.000 And it was like one of those scenes in a movie where the record scratches, and everybody just goes, what?
00:54:38.000 And I remember we were like, what's going on?
00:54:41.000 So then my friend winds up rolling with him.
00:54:45.000 Rolling is sparring.
00:54:47.000 You do jujitsu rolling and he comes back to me and he goes, there's no fucking way that guy's a black belt.
00:54:53.000 It doesn't even make sense.
00:54:54.000 He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
00:54:56.000 This is really weird.
00:54:59.000 So, he winds up having this confrontational conversation with him on the phone while I'm in the car.
00:55:04.000 He's talking to him.
00:55:04.000 And he goes, I want to know what you are, because you're not a fucking black belt, so tell me what's going on.
00:55:10.000 And he says, no, no, no, I'm a black belt in Japanese jujitsu.
00:55:13.000 It's different.
00:55:13.000 It's not...
00:55:14.000 Time goes on.
00:55:15.000 He tells this guy to go fuck himself.
00:55:17.000 Time goes on.
00:55:18.000 The guy winds up killing someone.
00:55:21.000 He winds up murdering this girl that he's having sex with, murdering her husband, and he gets caught driving around his car, the guy's car, after he's killed the guy.
00:55:33.000 And then he winds up trying to recruit a friend to kill someone.
00:55:38.000 It's like this whole big thing.
00:55:39.000 And he winds up going to jail.
00:55:40.000 And he's in jail now.
00:55:41.000 But I remember thinking, okay, you don't know shit about catching and spotting liars.
00:55:47.000 Because you didn't spot that guy as being completely full of shit.
00:55:51.000 Like, I thought he was a little full of shit.
00:55:53.000 But I didn't know he was a...
00:55:55.000 Like a complete sociopath and a murderer.
00:55:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:55:59.000 So this is an interesting question.
00:56:01.000 Using that scenario, would you have done a better job if all I gave you was the transcript of this guy's speech?
00:56:11.000 There's a lot of interest in this question in the community of people who study deception.
00:56:17.000 So there's many different...
00:56:18.000 I can...
00:56:19.000 Suppose I'm trying to improve my ability to spot lies.
00:56:23.000 We can do three things.
00:56:24.000 I can listen to you face-to-face as you're telling me something is either true or false.
00:56:30.000 I can...
00:56:31.000 We could do this entirely on the telephone.
00:56:33.000 So I don't see you, I just hear you.
00:56:35.000 Or I can just read the transcript of what you say and try to decide whether it's true or false.
00:56:40.000 And it seems to be the case that we're better when we just...
00:56:46.000 Sight and sound, and all we have are just the plain words on the page.
00:56:54.000 What being present does is it introduces all kinds of noisy information that just distracts us from the core question of whether the truth is being told.
00:57:07.000 So maybe if all you had was a transcript, and as this guy is describing this particular – what was the name of the move?
00:57:14.000 It's a twister.
00:57:14.000 The twister.
00:57:15.000 Maybe as you're looking at the way he—and all you're doing is focusing on the precise way in which he describes this very, very intricate move, and you would realize, oh, he actually doesn't understand what he's talking about.
00:57:27.000 And you would have seen it clearly in that moment if you—but maybe there was something about his presentation that threw you off the scent.
00:57:33.000 It was the move itself.
00:57:35.000 See, because if he just said, oh, I got the guy in an arm bar.
00:57:39.000 Well, a lot of people catch people in arm bars.
00:57:41.000 It's a very common move.
00:57:42.000 You learn it first day of jiu-jitsu.
00:57:44.000 You can catch someone.
00:57:46.000 If someone makes a mistake and you're a white belt and they reach up and you grab their arm, you can catch an arm bar.
00:57:51.000 Twister's very difficult to pull off.
00:57:53.000 Very difficult.
00:57:55.000 It's only been done in the UFC. Maybe once?
00:58:01.000 I think Chan Sung Jung, the Korean zombie, pulled it off once.
00:58:05.000 He may be the only guy, maybe one other guy ever.
00:58:10.000 Yeah.
00:58:10.000 This guy was delusional.
00:58:12.000 Oh, it was horse shit.
00:58:14.000 And the only thing that we were taking into consideration, like he was supposedly fighting in Thailand, which turns out there was no fight at all.
00:58:19.000 He's a complete liar.
00:58:20.000 Yeah.
00:58:21.000 The only thing that we were taking into consideration was maybe this guy fought a scrub.
00:58:25.000 Like he could have fought someone who really didn't know anything and he said, let me try the twister on him.
00:58:30.000 But then that's like, you'd have to be beating the guy so badly.
00:58:34.000 You just would end the fight.
00:58:36.000 You wouldn't do a twister on him.
00:58:38.000 The only time you do a twister is if you're a highly skilled grappler and you think you can put someone in a position that they don't understand.
00:58:44.000 It's a confusing position.
00:58:46.000 It's a position, there's a common position called back mount where you would choke someone or you would transition to other moves from there.
00:58:54.000 And he was almost there but not quite there because you're kind of on the side.
00:58:57.000 So even seasoned grapplers occasionally make mistakes and get caught in a twister.
00:59:01.000 But you have to be a fucking wizard to pull that off on somebody.
00:59:05.000 It's not something, you have to be really good.
00:59:07.000 It's not something that you can just do.
00:59:09.000 So when he said he did it, we were all like, what?
00:59:13.000 What?
00:59:16.000 If he said he head kicked the guy and knocked him out, oh, well, that happens all the time.
00:59:20.000 He said he punched the guy, hit him with an elbow and cut him, the referee stopped the fight.
00:59:23.000 All that stuff is real.
00:59:24.000 That happens all the time.
00:59:25.000 He chose this one signature move of my friend Eddie, and we were both like, there's something wrong here, man.
00:59:33.000 There's something wrong here.
00:59:34.000 There's a hilarious version of this on – I'm a runner, and on all the running message boards is one called Let's Run, which is – and they're constantly catching people who lie about their marathon times.
00:59:44.000 It's a hilarious little – How do they catch them?
00:59:47.000 Well, there's all kinds of reasons, but a lot of it is – it starts with the eyeball test.
00:59:51.000 So there'll be a – because a lot of marathons have – We're good to go.
01:00:11.000 Just looking at them?
01:00:13.000 10, 15 extra pounds.
01:00:16.000 They should look like they've been running.
01:00:19.000 They look totally fresh as a daisy right now.
01:00:22.000 What are they doing wearing those shoes?
01:00:24.000 No 240 marathon.
01:00:25.000 It's that kind of process.
01:00:27.000 And then gets the second order where they do complicated analysis of splits and they do all this kind of thing.
01:00:32.000 But it often begins with the same thing.
01:00:34.000 It's like, this guy's trying to claim to be this?
01:00:37.000 And it's like, no, no, no.
01:00:38.000 That's not working.
01:00:39.000 That's like a...
01:00:40.000 I love those insider-y...
01:00:43.000 Well, I have this thought about how much culture has shifted through the internet and how much culture will shift again in an even more astronomical way once we can read minds.
01:00:54.000 And I don't think we're far away from that.
01:00:56.000 I think we're a few decades away from some technology that allows people to establish intent and to see thoughts.
01:01:05.000 And I think they're very...
01:01:07.000 There's...
01:01:08.000 Some sort of theoretical work they're doing on this right now and there's different models that they're trying to achieve.
01:01:17.000 I think that's going to eliminate a lot of the bullshit of communication.
01:01:22.000 And I think it's going to happen really quickly.
01:01:24.000 Just like Google sort of eliminates a lot of the bullshit of people telling stories about something and someone goes, what?
01:01:29.000 What happened?
01:01:30.000 Wait a minute.
01:01:30.000 What year?
01:01:31.000 And they Google it.
01:01:32.000 That didn't happen.
01:01:33.000 And they can find out like almost instantaneously.
01:01:36.000 I think we're going to be able to figure that out with people.
01:01:38.000 I think there's going to be a way where we can see intent and And we can read minds.
01:01:45.000 I don't think we're far away from that.
01:01:47.000 I mean, I know this Neuralink thing that Elon Musk is very, Elon's very hush-hush about.
01:01:54.000 There's these different sort of electronic brain interfaces that they're trying to experiment with.
01:02:01.000 Yeah.
01:02:02.000 But wouldn't your worry be that if we're able to read someone's thoughts and intentions, what we would in fact discover is even more confusing than what we know now?
01:02:14.000 In other words, maybe what's inside my head right now are 35 different thoughts and intentions warring at with each other.
01:02:22.000 Murder scenarios.
01:02:23.000 Yes, murder scenarios.
01:02:23.000 And then Malcolm just sort of keeps everything on the surface, super normal.
01:02:29.000 No, no.
01:02:29.000 I think it's totally true.
01:02:31.000 Think about it.
01:02:32.000 Most of us, there's any number of things.
01:02:34.000 Think about the list of possible things that could come out of my mouth at this very moment is infinite.
01:02:41.000 Right?
01:02:42.000 It is infinite.
01:02:43.000 There are...
01:02:44.000 At this very moment, God knows how many scenarios swirling around my head about what should I say next, right?
01:02:51.000 And why is my intention to try and make you laugh, to impress you, to piss you off, to disagree with you, to agree with you?
01:02:59.000 I mean, we can go on and on and on and on.
01:03:01.000 All those are in play.
01:03:02.000 So you really want to look inside my head and get, you're not going to get clarity.
01:03:06.000 It's going to be a mess.
01:03:07.000 Or we're going to realize we're all a mess.
01:03:09.000 Yes!
01:03:10.000 It'll make us feel a little bit better.
01:03:11.000 Like, oh, everybody's out of their fucking mind.
01:03:14.000 But would you want that?
01:03:16.000 Yes.
01:03:17.000 You would?
01:03:18.000 Yes.
01:03:18.000 I'm endlessly curious.
01:03:21.000 I know my mind is such a mess, and there's so much chaos going on in there.
01:03:25.000 I want to know what's going on in other people's.
01:03:27.000 I want to know how fucked up am I, or am I normal?
01:03:31.000 Is it standard?
01:03:32.000 Here's my fear.
01:03:34.000 I have many fears about this kind of thing.
01:03:36.000 But my fear would be as follows.
01:03:37.000 That I cannot count the number of times when I have had reactions to things that people have said in the moment that turn out to be wrong, deeply and badly wrong.
01:03:49.000 And one of the things that I have learned as an adult is to deeply distrust those kinds of reactions and to wait and And very often what will happen, in my case, sometimes the waiting takes a long time.
01:03:59.000 I'm the kind of person who sometimes a month will pass and I will think back on a situation and I'll think, oh my god, I totally misunderstood that.
01:04:08.000 This person who I thought was a jackass is actually someone, you know, a lovely person who I should give a second chance to or whatever.
01:04:15.000 That comment that someone made that I thought was stupid is in fact extremely thoughtful and insightful.
01:04:22.000 This will happen weeks, months later, whatever.
01:04:24.000 If you were able to read my Mind in the moment.
01:04:29.000 You would judge me for my mistake and not give me an easy way to correct it.
01:04:34.000 In other words, you would trap me in, like, what if I've had a reaction to something you've said in this conversation?
01:04:40.000 In which I've said, Jesus, I can't believe that.
01:04:43.000 That's dumb.
01:04:44.000 And then I'm driving back to L.A. tonight and I think, oh, actually, oh, that's really interesting.
01:04:49.000 I hadn't thought about it at the time.
01:04:50.000 I don't want you to short-circuit my learning process about you.
01:04:55.000 I want to – give me the privacy of my six hours of thinking about what you said and allow me – give me that kind of time to come to a reasoned and insightful conclusion about how I feel.
01:05:08.000 That's interesting, but we're talking then about only one person having the technology because if you both have the technology, then there wouldn't be any issue.
01:05:18.000 It wouldn't be confusion as to why someone was saying something.
01:05:21.000 You have a much clearer path to understanding their thought process and their intent behind it.
01:05:26.000 Really?
01:05:27.000 If one person has it, then yeah, I get it.
01:05:32.000 If I can read your mind, oh, I said something and Malcolm thinks I'm a retard.
01:05:36.000 There's that.
01:05:37.000 But there's another possibility that both people have it.
01:05:41.000 And this is also...
01:05:43.000 One of the things that would be fascinating about this is one of the things about forbidden words is forbidden words carry with them intent.
01:05:53.000 They have automatic intent, right?
01:05:56.000 But you can say the exact same word and have different intent behind it.
01:06:03.000 If we could understand clearly what your intent is, then taboo words would automatically become meaningless.
01:06:12.000 It's not about sound you make.
01:06:14.000 It's not about forbidden sounds.
01:06:15.000 What it's about is thoughts and what you're trying to convey and what's happening to you as a human being.
01:06:21.000 Who are you?
01:06:22.000 What is your process?
01:06:24.000 For the way you communicate, what is your process for the way you're trying to develop these thoughts in your mind and express them to people?
01:06:32.000 Well, part of the problem with that is language, right?
01:06:36.000 And part of the problem with making certain aspects of our language forbidden is you limit people's ability to colorfully communicate and express themselves in certain ways.
01:06:47.000 I think that alone, just eliminating that alone, eliminating confusion, and also highlighting, you know, you could highlight real problems with people's thoughts and the way people communicate, but also eliminate many problems.
01:07:04.000 So you'd say, oh, he doesn't mean that.
01:07:05.000 Like, you could see what he means.
01:07:06.000 Like, this is where his mind is.
01:07:08.000 You could see.
01:07:09.000 You could literally see the thoughts.
01:07:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:07:12.000 I guess.
01:07:13.000 I would also – let me throw another complicating factor.
01:07:17.000 It still leaves the question of cultural context.
01:07:21.000 Yes, of course.
01:07:22.000 So one of the things I got really interested when I was writing my book was how our kind of cultural frames of reference profoundly complicate our attempts to understand other people.
01:07:34.000 And so in your scenario where I have some kind of window into your thinking and intention, I still need to know – in order to make sense of you, I still need to have a very clear idea of the cultural kind of rules of the road that you're using.
01:07:49.000 And they're likely to be different from mine.
01:07:51.000 Sure.
01:07:51.000 Particularly if – I mean, I'm a Canadian and you're not.
01:07:56.000 But imagine if the difference between us was more profound.
01:08:00.000 Then you're still like...
01:08:02.000 There's a really cool thing.
01:08:03.000 I've been obsessed with memory.
01:08:07.000 I'm doing all these things on memory in revisionist history this coming season.
01:08:12.000 And I was reading about this really fascinating experiment, which is done with Korean and American college students, adults, essentially.
01:08:23.000 And what I do is I give you three circles.
01:08:28.000 Paper circles.
01:08:29.000 And one is past, one is present, one is future.
01:08:32.000 And I say those are three concepts.
01:08:35.000 Represent those three concepts with these three circles.
01:08:40.000 So the American kid has past here, present, in the middle, future, over on the right, right?
01:08:48.000 Three independent circles.
01:08:50.000 The Korean kid piles all three circles on top of each other.
01:08:56.000 Now, what does that mean?
01:08:57.000 I don't know what that means.
01:08:58.000 It means something interesting, right?
01:09:00.000 It means that they're not separating these three modes the way that we are.
01:09:06.000 They're certainly coming at experience with a very different set of assumptions.
01:09:10.000 So maybe… So I think of the Civil War as a long time ago, but if I'm Korean, maybe the Civil War is as present in my kind of consciousness as something that happened last week.
01:09:23.000 Maybe that's what that means?
01:09:24.000 I'm not exactly sure.
01:09:25.000 I'm sort of guessing because I don't know that I haven't fully investigated.
01:09:29.000 But the point is, I've just given you one random example.
01:09:32.000 There are way, way incredibly different rules that different cultures use to organize experience.
01:09:42.000 You and reading your thoughts, I have to know those rules because those rules are sorting out how people – so this is only – I'm not dissing this notion that you're talking about.
01:09:52.000 I'm saying that it needs to have another layer as well.
01:09:55.000 A cultural layer.
01:09:56.000 A cultural layer, which kind of alerts me to how you're organizing experience.
01:10:00.000 That certainly makes sense.
01:10:04.000 It's interesting when you think about the Tower of Babel, right?
01:10:09.000 This idea that at one point in time everyone spoke the same language and God sort of set it up so that we were never going to be able to really communicate with each other because everybody has a bunch of different languages and we'll never figure it out.
01:10:24.000 That's the sort of crunched up version of it.
01:10:28.000 If there was a way to...
01:10:32.000 Change the way, like all languages are essentially little symbols that are written down on paper or typed out and then sounds you make with your mouth and they convey intent.
01:10:41.000 If there was a way to do another version of language, a universal version of language that's eventually adopted.
01:10:49.000 Like, I'm reading this book about these people that were kidnapped by Native Americans, and they were assimilated into the tribes, and they learned the language, and this happened over the course of a couple of years.
01:11:01.000 And I was thinking, like, what would that be like if you—you know, that's how you learn a language.
01:11:06.000 You're kidnapped by—you know what I mean?
01:11:09.000 Like, you gotta— But if there was a new language, how long would it take for adults to learn a new language?
01:11:15.000 If someone came up with a new language of completely universal characters and this language is conveyed through this technology rather than through your mouth.
01:11:26.000 So it's your thoughts.
01:11:28.000 Your thoughts interface with some sort of technology.
01:11:31.000 It creates whatever, hieroglyphs, some sort of visual language that we all agree upon.
01:11:38.000 And then this is universal.
01:11:40.000 This is universal throughout all cultures.
01:11:43.000 And the only thing that we'd be confused is about assumptions and rules as far as like what's okay and what's not.
01:11:49.000 Well, you could do that.
01:11:50.000 Can't we kind of do that already in a sense that we could have a universal language and then – We have a device, you know, sitting on our phone or something.
01:12:00.000 Yeah.
01:12:00.000 That when we, I'm in, you know, I'm in some, before I'm in Bulgaria and I'm ordering coffee, I speak it in the device and it simply translates, either translates me directly into Bulgarian.
01:12:12.000 That's actually not that hard.
01:12:14.000 No.
01:12:15.000 Or it translates this into this common language that the Bulgarian translator services.
01:12:20.000 And if you think of the technology itself, At a slightly more advanced level than it is now, it could be done in a very seamless way.
01:12:31.000 Like it doesn't have to be some bulky box.
01:12:33.000 It could literally be that I am speaking in English and what you're hearing is a filter and what you're hearing is this other language.
01:12:41.000 I mean… Well, don't Google Buds or whatever they are, the AirPod version of those Google things.
01:12:49.000 I think there's something, some technology that actually enables you to instantaneously translate that Google will do it for you.
01:12:56.000 Yeah, although you hate for Google to have one more thing over us, right?
01:13:00.000 It's like not enough that they should control nine-tenths of our life.
01:13:04.000 We're also going to let them control our communication.
01:13:07.000 I remember as a kid, I used to love Doonesbury.
01:13:10.000 Did you read Doonesbury?
01:13:10.000 Yes.
01:13:11.000 It was a hilarious thing in Doonesbury where I forgot who, Uncle Duke or somebody, is going to China.
01:13:17.000 Was Uncle Duke Hunter S. Thompson?
01:13:20.000 Yeah.
01:13:20.000 And he was appointed ambassador.
01:13:22.000 I think he was appointed American ambassador to China.
01:13:24.000 And that was a joke.
01:13:26.000 And he would go and he would meet with the president of China.
01:13:30.000 And he would say the most incredibly incendiary, outrageous things.
01:13:33.000 And the translator never translated what he said.
01:13:36.000 He would say this...
01:13:37.000 Outrageous, offensive thing.
01:13:39.000 And the translators say, you know, the flowers are blooming today.
01:13:44.000 I just thought that was hilarious.
01:13:47.000 Jamie had a thought once that hieroglyphs for 2019 are essentially emojis.
01:13:55.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:13:56.000 It's kind of...
01:13:59.000 What you're sort of saying is, yeah, like the internet, you have to translate English into bits in order for the computer to translate it into an emoji.
01:14:08.000 I feel like that's almost what you're saying, although it's not exactly...
01:14:11.000 It's a beginning step.
01:14:12.000 Yeah, it's like step one to the completion.
01:14:14.000 It just seems like...
01:14:16.000 This is not the best we can do.
01:14:19.000 Noises with your mouth.
01:14:21.000 And then, you know, learning English is incredibly complicated for someone who speaks Mandarin and vice versa.
01:14:27.000 It's all very...
01:14:28.000 What if we all said, hey, look, this is some new version of a language.
01:14:32.000 Like...
01:14:33.000 Whenever there's, whether it's Contact, or whenever there's some movie about extraterrestrials, there's always a team of scientists and linguists and geniuses to get together, and they go, look, we're going to establish a universal language to communicate with these people.
01:14:46.000 In Close Encounters of the Third Kind, it was music.
01:14:50.000 That they would figure out some way.
01:14:52.000 We're going to figure out a way to talk.
01:14:54.000 If we...
01:14:56.000 We had some enormous financial incentive or some enormous crisis was in play and we had to all communicate with the same language.
01:15:06.000 And so remember when they were trying to push – well, you're from Canada.
01:15:09.000 The metric system was actually real over there.
01:15:11.000 It was real.
01:15:12.000 When I was in high school, they were trying to push the metric system.
01:15:15.000 And I remember there was like a concerted effort.
01:15:18.000 They're like, we're going to have to learn the metric system because it's a universal system that the whole world uses.
01:15:22.000 And they gave up.
01:15:24.000 The United States gave up.
01:15:25.000 Why was this possible in Canada and not possible in the United States?
01:15:29.000 Because we're assholes.
01:15:30.000 You guys are 20% less assholes.
01:15:32.000 At least 20%.
01:15:33.000 I don't know how is that possible.
01:15:36.000 I've always thought, because I grew up in Boston, which is also cold, I always thought cold weather made assholes.
01:15:42.000 Because it's like, you just like...
01:15:44.000 Fuck, it's cold!
01:15:45.000 Fuck this!
01:15:46.000 Fuck you!
01:15:46.000 Fuck you!
01:15:47.000 Because Boston is filled with people that want to get drunk and fight, and a lot of them are really mean, which is a great place to grow up.
01:15:54.000 You develop a thick skin, and particularly as a comedian, it's a great place to start out and do comedy.
01:15:58.000 You learn how to do it right.
01:15:59.000 I don't think Boston is mean because of the cold.
01:16:03.000 Yeah, I think as well.
01:16:05.000 The coldest parts of Canada, like, you know, I know lots of people, lots of members of my family are from Winnipeg, which is seriously cold.
01:16:13.000 Nicest people.
01:16:14.000 Nicest people.
01:16:14.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:16:16.000 That's what I said.
01:16:18.000 My theory sucks.
01:16:19.000 I think it's the children of very rough immigrants.
01:16:24.000 And they stayed in these communities.
01:16:27.000 Irish Italians.
01:16:28.000 Yes, exactly.
01:16:29.000 That's what I am.
01:16:30.000 And so the immigrants of these people that were willing to take a risk and get on a boat when there wasn't even YouTube videos to watch.
01:16:38.000 These are savage people that made it over here, and they're really rough, and they had rough childhoods, and they raised rough children, and the echoes of that persist on the East Coast of the United States.
01:16:52.000 The amount of drinking that went on in Irish immigrant communities is – it's funny because I stumbled across – Years ago, I've always been obsessed with drinking and alcohol.
01:17:04.000 In fact, I have a chapter on it in this book.
01:17:07.000 So years ago, it turns out that the place in America where alcohol studies, as they're called, were really birthed was New Haven, which makes perfect sense.
01:17:18.000 So in the 50s, a bunch of people get really, really interested in understanding how drinking works.
01:17:23.000 And in New Haven, of course, you have the perfect model because you have two very large groups of immigrants.
01:17:27.000 You have Irish immigrants.
01:17:29.000 Italians, right?
01:17:30.000 In all of New England, you've got those two to work with.
01:17:32.000 And of course, they could not be more different in the way they drink.
01:17:36.000 So even in immigrant Italian communities in the 50s, these are people who are, in terms of volume of alcohol consumed, way up at the top.
01:17:47.000 They're drinking with every meal.
01:17:48.000 They're making wine in their backyards.
01:17:52.000 But the levels of alcoholism are infinitesimal.
01:17:56.000 The amount of social dysfunction associated with drinking, I mean, it's negligible.
01:18:03.000 These are the healthiest drinkers you can imagine.
01:18:05.000 Side by side.
01:18:09.000 I don't need to tell you that the story is very different than the Irish.
01:18:14.000 Why is that?
01:18:15.000 It's a super interesting question.
01:18:17.000 You've got – so they're not – one group is not richer than the other.
01:18:20.000 They come to America not at the same time but they're in 19th century, early 20th century come to America in large numbers.
01:18:27.000 There are some – you know, Irish culture looks a lot – but it was Catholic.
01:18:31.000 Right now, there may be Catholic in different ways, but on the surface, these are, you'd think that they would use the bottle in the same way.
01:18:39.000 No.
01:18:40.000 The Irish are, the Irish, the men are slinking off to the pub, and in Italy, everyone's gathered around steaming bowls of pasta and drinking like one and a half glasses of wine, mild homemade wine with their dinner.
01:18:54.000 It's like night and day.
01:18:55.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 It's unbelievable.
01:18:57.000 Is it because one is a whiskey culture?
01:18:59.000 No.
01:19:00.000 Because whiskey is rough stuff.
01:19:02.000 I mean, you really can't have much before you're off the rails.
01:19:04.000 Yeah.
01:19:06.000 The attachment to wine in the Italian community probably saves them a good deal of alcohol-related heartbreak.
01:19:15.000 I don't know too much about the actual – Is there a difference between the way different alcohol affects you?
01:19:25.000 Does the wine alcohol actually affect you by volume, by the actual percentage of alcohol?
01:19:32.000 Does it affect you differently than beer or differently than whiskey or differently than tequila?
01:19:37.000 Because that's what people always say.
01:19:38.000 Oh, if I drink tequila, I get crazy.
01:19:41.000 People always have these stories.
01:19:43.000 But is that true?
01:19:43.000 Have you had a certain percentage of alcohol?
01:19:46.000 I see.
01:19:47.000 We equalized.
01:19:47.000 Yes.
01:19:48.000 We equalize the alcohol concentration.
01:19:51.000 Is it all the same in the end?
01:19:53.000 Yes, because for me, wine makes me warm and friendly and it makes me sleepy.
01:20:00.000 I mean, it doesn't make me energetic.
01:20:03.000 Yeah.
01:20:05.000 Yeah.
01:20:26.000 It's better you saying this than me.
01:20:28.000 Well, I'm quarter Irish.
01:20:29.000 I can get away with it for a little while.
01:20:30.000 Only a quarter?
01:20:31.000 That's it.
01:20:32.000 Yeah, mostly Italian.
01:20:34.000 Oh, I see.
01:20:34.000 You're at the cusp of these two drinking traditions.
01:20:37.000 Yes, yes.
01:20:38.000 Oh, I see.
01:20:39.000 But Rogan, you're fooling us with Rogan now.
01:20:42.000 Yes, it's an Irish name.
01:20:43.000 Because we would think that you were majority Irish with that.
01:20:45.000 Yes.
01:20:46.000 Yeah, and I could be dark Irish if you looked at me.
01:20:49.000 If you were.
01:20:49.000 Yeah.
01:20:50.000 Well, I'm reserved English and Jamaican.
01:20:56.000 Jamaican is not big drinkers in the same kind of – the difference actually fascinatingly of the many weird alcohol facts, if you look at young people, it's like a college-age young people in America and look at their drinking habits.
01:21:19.000 Black students drink and get drunk markedly less than white kids.
01:21:25.000 Real differences in drinking behavior by race at that age.
01:21:30.000 Asian students don't drink much either.
01:21:32.000 Drinking is like a white thing.
01:21:35.000 It's like a crazy white thing, increasingly, or problematic drinking.
01:21:39.000 I thought that was fascinating.
01:21:41.000 It is fascinating.
01:21:41.000 I don't know why that's It's revered in our culture more.
01:21:48.000 Yeah, I mean, getting fucked up is celebrated in white culture.
01:21:52.000 Well, this, you know, in the alcohol chapter in my book, I talk about all the strange things that have happened with drinking patterns on campus.
01:22:02.000 And I was struck in doing that chapter.
01:22:04.000 I was interested in the connection between drinking and Right.
01:22:19.000 Right.
01:22:21.000 Right.
01:22:27.000 Entirely, but it's a huge factor in making sense of what happens.
01:22:31.000 And when you dig into that, you see these really weird patterns.
01:22:34.000 First off, when I was in college, I did not know, and I went to college in Canada, not a teetotaling population.
01:22:42.000 I did not know a single person who had ever been blackout drunk.
01:22:47.000 And then now, if you talk to a 20-year-old college student in America, they will name friends of theirs who get blackout drunk on a weekly basis.
01:22:57.000 Trevor Burrus What is the drinking age in Canada and what was it when you were in college?
01:23:01.000 When I was in college, I was 18. Trevor Burrus Yeah.
01:23:03.000 I think that might be a big factor.
01:23:05.000 I've been talking to friends about this, about Europe, about how in Europe, particularly in Italy and France, you're allowed to drink wine at a very young age.
01:23:15.000 And the taboo aspect of it, the forbidden fruit, all that goes away.
01:23:21.000 It's a...
01:23:23.000 I don't think young kids should be drinking because I think it's terrible for your brain development but I think there's a thing in keeping them from drinking or making it illegal where it becomes so taboo and so intoxicating that they can't wait until they can legally do it or they try to get a hold of it before it's legal and it has a certain excitement to it that it doesn't have in parts of Europe.
01:23:49.000 So there's all kinds of The things that are new are way less beer and way more hard liquor.
01:23:55.000 So hard liquor, when I was in school in Canada in the 80s, 95% of what we drank was beer.
01:24:02.000 There wasn't any whiskey or tequila or vodka at our parties.
01:24:08.000 It's just beer.
01:24:09.000 Beer.
01:24:09.000 Kegs.
01:24:10.000 Keg parties.
01:24:11.000 Yeah.
01:24:11.000 Really hard to get blackout drunk on beer.
01:24:13.000 I mean, blackout...
01:24:14.000 To get to blackout, you've got to be...
01:24:16.000 You've got to get to like...
01:24:18.000 I've forgotten what the exact number is.
01:24:19.000 10 drinks or something?
01:24:20.000 Well, it's point...
01:24:21.000 You've got to blow like 0.18 or something.
01:24:25.000 I've forgotten what there's a sort of magic number where people...
01:24:27.000 Is that for everybody?
01:24:28.000 Because some people, they just get gerbilized.
01:24:30.000 Like there's some dudes, they'll have a couple of drinks and they get shark eyes.
01:24:34.000 You know those dark, like expressionless eyes?
01:24:37.000 Like, hey man, are you still here?
01:24:39.000 They're just wandering around like a person with doll eyes.
01:24:44.000 There's nothing there.
01:24:45.000 Well, the issue with blackout is just at what point does your hippocampus shut down and you cease to have the ability to make memories?
01:24:51.000 So that's a very narrow clinical explanation.
01:24:56.000 So there may be a whole different set of manifestations of drunkenness that have to do with alcohol's effect on other parts of your brain.
01:25:04.000 But blackout is just about your hippocampus.
01:25:08.000 And past a certain blood alcohol concentration, your hippocampus just goes offline.
01:25:14.000 So nothing that's coming in is being stored.
01:25:19.000 So you can continue to communicate.
01:25:21.000 I could be blackout drunk right now.
01:25:23.000 But does it vary with people?
01:25:26.000 The number varies?
01:25:28.000 Well, so yes, it would.
01:25:29.000 It would vary depending I think on drinking history.
01:25:34.000 But I mean as a – there's a kind of a – there's a consensus figure where most people – I wish I – it's in my book.
01:25:42.000 I wish I could remember.
01:25:43.000 I think it's something like 0.16 or something like that.
01:25:47.000 If you think of the level – legal level for drinking for driving is 0.08.
01:25:54.000 I think it's roughly 2x that level.
01:25:57.000 And most people at that level will be at risk, will have at least the beginnings of memory impairment.
01:26:03.000 So that feeling when you get really drunk at a party and the next morning you can only remember little bits and pieces of what happened that night, that's because your hippocampus was at your moment of peak intoxication, your hippocampus was starting to shut down.
01:26:18.000 It just wasn't taking in new members.
01:26:20.000 It's really interesting, too, because some of our most interesting minds and some of the best communicators relied on alcohol heavily.
01:26:28.000 And it made that, like Hitchens, it made him a more interesting communicator when he was drunk, when he would have a drink.
01:26:36.000 You know, I mean, right?
01:26:38.000 Like he would be on Bill Maher, you could tell that he was lit.
01:26:42.000 And he was so eloquent and so articulate.
01:26:47.000 Beautiful phrasing.
01:26:49.000 So remember, though, this is an interesting point and a crucial point about blackout, which is your hippocampus doesn't necessarily control how articulate you are or how fluid your speech is.
01:27:00.000 It's just about memory.
01:27:02.000 So Hitchens could have been the most articulate person in the world, but the next morning he would not have remembered a single thing he said on Bill Maher.
01:27:10.000 Mm.
01:27:10.000 I mean, I'm assuming if he was drunk to the point.
01:27:12.000 I don't think he was blackout.
01:27:13.000 No, he wasn't blackout.
01:27:13.000 But you don't know.
01:27:15.000 There's fascinating stories in the literature about when people were discovering blackout in the 50s.
01:27:21.000 And there would be these stories like they would – some guy would come in.
01:27:26.000 He would wake up in Las Vegas.
01:27:28.000 And he would say, what am I doing in Las Vegas?
01:27:32.000 And he would go and he would see his clothes hanging in the closet.
01:27:35.000 And he would say, what?
01:27:37.000 What's going on?
01:27:38.000 And then he would go down to the desk and say, what?
01:27:40.000 And they said, oh, you checked in last night.
01:27:42.000 And he would look in his wallet and he would see he had a plane ticket from Cleveland.
01:27:45.000 And they would reconstruct.
01:27:46.000 In fact, this very story was told in one of the big medical journals in the 50s.
01:27:51.000 The guy reconstructs.
01:27:53.000 He's a salesman Living in, like, St. Louis, who gets really, really drunk, and then his hippocampus shuts down, and he continues to function.
01:28:01.000 So he goes, gets in his car, drives to the airport, buys a plane ticket, goes to Vegas, does—he doesn't know what he does in Vegas, does whatever he does in Vegas, and then wakes up, like, two days later.
01:28:12.000 Oh, my God!
01:28:13.000 His hippocampus is suddenly back online, and he's like, what am I doing in Vegas?
01:28:16.000 That is— Two days!
01:28:18.000 Two days!
01:28:18.000 Oh, my God!
01:28:19.000 So the point is, like—the point is that you can— That was my point.
01:28:23.000 I could be blackout right now.
01:28:26.000 And still communicate.
01:28:27.000 You wouldn't know it.
01:28:28.000 It's not like you can tell.
01:28:30.000 I can't tell whether you have a headache, can I? Right.
01:28:33.000 No clue.
01:28:33.000 So you don't know what's going, I mean, until we come up with that machine that you were talking about.
01:28:37.000 You can't tell that my hippocampus isn't working.
01:28:40.000 Except if you ask me the same question.
01:28:44.000 This is the only way you can do it.
01:28:45.000 You're at a party.
01:28:46.000 You think someone's blackout.
01:28:47.000 Ask them the same question over and over again and see if they respond.
01:28:52.000 Like, say, why are you asking me?
01:28:54.000 So, literally, I would say, wait, did you say you're a quarter Irish?
01:29:02.000 And then I would just have to wait, say five seconds, and say, Joe, did you say you were a quarter Irish?
01:29:06.000 And in a certain way, you're going to say, Malcolm, why?
01:29:08.000 Stop it.
01:29:08.000 If you don't say that, you're blackout drunk.
01:29:11.000 But if you do, could you be blackout drunk and still have like a tiny memory?
01:29:18.000 No.
01:29:18.000 Okay, man, you just asked me that.
01:29:20.000 Okay, so the hippocampus doesn't shut down all at once.
01:29:25.000 So what it does is it shuts down slowly.
01:29:27.000 So let's imagine we're both doing shots and So after, I mean, I'm quite sure your capacity, I'm, I mean, you're like, I'm half your weight.
01:29:37.000 Am I? But I don't know what you are.
01:29:39.000 You're like- 200 pounds.
01:29:40.000 I'm 126. Okay.
01:29:43.000 So we're going to deal with alcohol very differently.
01:29:45.000 But let's assume we're doing shots of tequila.
01:29:48.000 There's a point of where things start to get hazy.
01:29:51.000 So you might remember that I asked you that question or you might not.
01:29:54.000 And then as we keep drinking and our blood alcohol levels get higher and higher, at a certain point your hippocampus will completely, like the off switch, has been thrown.
01:30:04.000 So it goes from being sluggish and impaired to just being down.
01:30:11.000 And what brings it back?
01:30:13.000 Well, your blood alcohol level has to fall to the point where it can work again.
01:30:17.000 So you fall asleep and over the course of eight hours of sleep, you know, your alcohol is processed by your liver, blood alcohol falls, hippocampus snaps back into action.
01:30:30.000 What a ridiculous drug to be our most socially acceptable drug.
01:30:35.000 Totally.
01:30:35.000 And then the Vegas thing, where they give it to you for free in a place where you can gamble, which is really sneaky.
01:30:43.000 That's one of the weirder laws ever, that a person could literally lose their house while they're blackout drunk.
01:30:50.000 Crazy.
01:30:51.000 I mean, in retrospect, imagine we're, let's do a little ranking thing here.
01:30:56.000 We have three vices, and I know exactly where you're going to be going with this, but we have three things we want to prioritize.
01:31:07.000 Dope.
01:31:08.000 Alcohol.
01:31:12.000 Smoking.
01:31:13.000 Cigarettes.
01:31:13.000 Cigarettes.
01:31:14.000 You can ban one.
01:31:16.000 Actually, rank them in order.
01:31:17.000 We can start from scratch.
01:31:19.000 I'm saying, Joe, we're starting over.
01:31:20.000 Okay.
01:31:21.000 What you say goes.
01:31:24.000 So right now, the way we have dealt with these is smoking is becoming the most taboo of those three.
01:31:32.000 Cigarettes.
01:31:35.000 Marijuana is second.
01:31:36.000 And alcohol is the one that we have the least...
01:31:40.000 My argument would be that that list is exactly backwards.
01:31:45.000 That it should be – alcohol should be the most taboo.
01:31:50.000 Marijuana should be – actually, not exactly backwards.
01:31:53.000 It should be alcohol the most taboo, cigarettes the second most, marijuana the third.
01:31:58.000 That's how I would do it.
01:31:59.000 Yeah, I would agree with that.
01:32:00.000 Yeah.
01:32:00.000 Yeah.
01:32:00.000 But basically, we have it completely upside down.
01:32:03.000 But I think for some people, like – Look, there's obviously terrible things that happen to you when you smoke cigarettes.
01:32:15.000 But every time...
01:32:18.000 See, I've smoked a cigarette or two before shows.
01:32:23.000 I mean, or two.
01:32:26.000 I've never smoked two in a row, but I've smoked a cigarette before I've done shows.
01:32:29.000 Like Dave Chappelle gave me one of his cigarettes recently.
01:32:32.000 Tony Hinchcliffe's given me a cigarette.
01:32:33.000 I'm not a cigarette smoker, but there's something cool about the head rush that you get when you smoke a cigarette.
01:32:38.000 I hesitate to say that.
01:32:40.000 This is a person who's done a lot of drugs.
01:32:44.000 I've smoked a lot of pot, and I've done psychedelics, and I talk about them openly.
01:32:48.000 I have hesitation about telling people that I've enjoyed a cigarette.
01:32:53.000 Why?
01:32:54.000 Because I think it's so bad for you.
01:32:59.000 When I talk about doing mushrooms, I think mushrooms are good for you.
01:33:03.000 I think it makes you freak out.
01:33:06.000 It illuminates parts of your consciousness that I think a lot of people guard and protect and shield and I think sometimes doing something that breaks down those walls is good for you ultimately overall.
01:33:19.000 There's a little bit of an adjustment period but I think you learn something about the normal state of consciousness.
01:33:24.000 I don't think you learn much when you smoke cigarettes.
01:33:27.000 I just think there's just a little bit of a head rush that you get out of it.
01:33:30.000 But I know so many people that are sick from cigarettes.
01:33:33.000 So many people that can't quit them.
01:33:34.000 So many people that have died from cancer.
01:33:37.000 I personally have known several people that have died from cancer from smoking cigarettes.
01:33:43.000 So I hesitate in saying it.
01:33:46.000 But I don't want to be dishonest.
01:33:47.000 I've had them.
01:33:48.000 I don't smoke cigarettes, though.
01:33:50.000 I've never bought a pack.
01:33:51.000 That's a cigar.
01:33:52.000 I've smoked cigars.
01:33:53.000 I like them sometimes.
01:33:55.000 I just think it's a terrible...
01:34:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:34:22.000 I can have a glass of whiskey and not drink again.
01:34:24.000 It doesn't bother me.
01:34:26.000 I don't have that, whatever that is.
01:34:28.000 But some people do.
01:34:30.000 I hesitate in glorifying that, too.
01:34:34.000 And for young people, it scares the shit out of me.
01:34:38.000 I probably drank for the first time when I was probably like I was in high school.
01:34:43.000 I think it was probably 14 or 15, the first time I ever got drunk with my friends.
01:34:47.000 You know, we got a hold of some Jack Daniels or something and it made me throw up every time I smelled it.
01:34:50.000 It's the Irish legal drinking age.
01:34:51.000 Yes.
01:34:52.000 Well, you know, it's just friends, you know, listening to classic rock and getting drunk in Boston.
01:34:58.000 But the...
01:35:01.000 It's something I occasionally enjoy.
01:35:03.000 I enjoy alcohol.
01:35:05.000 I like having a drink of wine with a glass of wine with a meal.
01:35:09.000 I like having a drink with friends occasionally.
01:35:12.000 But I don't have a problem with it, and I know people who do.
01:35:15.000 And so I feel weird talking about it, knowing those people that do have a problem with it.
01:35:21.000 With pot, though...
01:35:23.000 The people that have a problem with pot, it's rare.
01:35:26.000 And it's usually people that have some sort of an underlying schizophrenic issue that could come from especially high doses.
01:35:38.000 If they smoke a lot of pot in one night, they can have a schizophrenic episode.
01:35:42.000 I've actually seen it.
01:35:43.000 Particularly from edibles, I've seen it.
01:35:47.000 But that's, to me, that's absolutely the least taboo.
01:35:51.000 And I think there's a lot of benefits to pot.
01:35:53.000 I think pot makes you more sociable.
01:35:55.000 I think it makes you friendlier.
01:35:56.000 I mean, some people get paranoid from it, but I think that's what that really is, is marijuana illuminating how vulnerable you actually are.
01:36:04.000 We sort of protect ourselves from this overwhelming existential angst that you get when you get high on pot.
01:36:12.000 And people say, I don't like it.
01:36:13.000 It makes me paranoid.
01:36:14.000 Well...
01:36:15.000 You know, the reality is, you're vulnerable.
01:36:17.000 We're all very, very, very vulnerable.
01:36:20.000 And we just somehow or another make it.
01:36:22.000 Like, how old are you?
01:36:24.000 56. I'm 52. We made it.
01:36:26.000 We made it to this age, somehow or another, despite all the paranoia.
01:36:30.000 We got here, but we don't have to.
01:36:32.000 I mean, it's like, really, you know, life is crazy.
01:36:35.000 We're in these metal boxes with combustion engines, you know, like, trusting the people next to us going 60 miles an hour, paying attention, not looking at their phone.
01:36:44.000 You know, it's like, it's very...
01:36:46.000 And then we get in planes, and who knows what the fuck's going on with the engine.
01:36:50.000 This guy's flying it over the sky.
01:36:52.000 We're very vulnerable.
01:36:53.000 All the time.
01:36:54.000 There's diseases, and, you know, not to mention, you know, War and all sorts of other things.
01:37:02.000 Well, we're in L.A., not to mention...
01:37:04.000 Everything.
01:37:05.000 Earthquakes.
01:37:05.000 Fire, yeah.
01:37:06.000 Yeah, fires.
01:37:07.000 Yes.
01:37:07.000 No, my thing on this is simply the collateral damage.
01:37:11.000 Yeah.
01:37:12.000 So leave the individual out of it and ask how much social damage is caused by any of those things.
01:37:19.000 Okay.
01:37:19.000 And alcohol and alcohol.
01:37:20.000 Number one.
01:37:21.000 Just buy a fire.
01:37:21.000 Buy a bullet.
01:37:22.000 Yeah, you don't get...
01:37:23.000 You know what's amazing to me is how the people who...
01:37:27.000 Make alcohol.
01:37:29.000 Get a free ride.
01:37:31.000 It's incredible to me that, like, if I said to you that I was on the board of Philip Morris, you would say, Malcolm, that's pretty screwed up.
01:37:40.000 And you would have a problem with it.
01:37:43.000 If I said that, oh, I'm on the board of Anheuser-Busch, you probably would hit me up for tickets to the Super Bowl.
01:37:49.000 Right?
01:37:50.000 It's just not the same.
01:37:51.000 Whereas there's no...
01:37:52.000 In terms of the amount of social damage, what Anheuser-Busch has created has produced a hundred times the social damage than what Philip Morris has produced.
01:38:03.000 I've always puzzled about it.
01:38:06.000 I don't know how we got it in our heads.
01:38:09.000 To treat one like it's completely taboo, and the other we kind of...
01:38:14.000 Shrug, you know, there are a bunch, I was reading about this recently, how many colleges accept, not just accept alcohol advertising and sponsorship, but you go to a college football game and, you know,
01:38:31.000 Bud Light will have, will be an active sponsor of the event, will have some huge relationship with the school.
01:38:37.000 This is crazy.
01:38:39.000 I mean, it's crazy.
01:38:40.000 Yeah.
01:38:40.000 Right?
01:38:41.000 It's like, this is the drug that is causing so many problems for young people, particularly on campuses.
01:38:47.000 And the schools are hand in glove with the manufacturers of it.
01:38:50.000 Because it's socially acceptable, because they don't have to worry about repercussions.
01:38:53.000 Because we give it a, we give it a, like, in a way that they would never have...
01:38:56.000 Marlboro.
01:38:57.000 Marlboro.
01:38:58.000 Yeah.
01:38:58.000 That would be, oh my god, people would pick it.
01:39:00.000 Yeah.
01:39:00.000 Whereas, it's not, you know, I don't know.
01:39:02.000 That's true.
01:39:03.000 It's a strange kind of a...
01:39:04.000 We're so messy.
01:39:06.000 People are so messy.
01:39:08.000 And that's a very good example of how messy we are.
01:39:16.000 For some reason, I hadn't realized you were from Boston.
01:39:23.000 Why are so many comics from Boston?
01:39:25.000 It's a hard place.
01:39:26.000 Is that what it is?
01:39:27.000 Mean women.
01:39:28.000 Drunk guys.
01:39:30.000 First of all, am I right?
01:39:31.000 Am I right in thinking?
01:39:32.000 There does seem to be like, why is it every time I turn around and I listen to some comic and they say, well, when I was growing up in Boston, I'm like, of course you're from Boston.
01:39:40.000 There's a lot.
01:39:41.000 There's a lot.
01:39:41.000 And there are a specific kind of, it's like the audiences there have a very short attention span.
01:39:49.000 They're not going to coddle you.
01:39:51.000 If you suck, they will boo you off the stage.
01:39:53.000 It's terrible for your self-esteem when you're young, but it doesn't just build character.
01:39:58.000 It builds the correct approach towards an audience.
01:40:02.000 You have to realize these people got babysitters.
01:40:06.000 They spent money.
01:40:08.000 They're here.
01:40:08.000 They could have been in a movie.
01:40:09.000 They could have done a lot of the recreational activities.
01:40:11.000 They've chosen to come to the comedy club.
01:40:12.000 Stop fucking around.
01:40:13.000 Get to work.
01:40:15.000 Like, treat this like this is...
01:40:16.000 And the consequences of bombing are horrific, right?
01:40:19.000 The feeling is...
01:40:20.000 It's one of the worst feelings a person can have.
01:40:24.000 Wait, when was the last time you bombed?
01:40:27.000 It's been a while since I bomb-bombed, but I've had jokes that ate shit.
01:40:31.000 Yeah, well, there's a process that I go through every two years.
01:40:35.000 I put out a special, and then I write a new one.
01:40:38.000 And during the process of writing a new one, you don't write it in a vacuum.
01:40:41.000 You write it, and then I bring that stuff to the Comedy Store.
01:40:44.000 And fortunately, with the Comedy Store, you're doing 15-minute sets with, you know, 15 other talented people.
01:40:51.000 So you don't have to be up there for a long time.
01:40:55.000 And the Comedy Store also, the audience...
01:40:59.000 is very unique in that a lot of them understand that they're going to see these Guys like Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock work out comedy.
01:41:08.000 Oh, I see.
01:41:08.000 They know it's a work in progress.
01:41:09.000 Yes, they understand it.
01:41:10.000 And you could joke around about it.
01:41:12.000 Like, that bit sucks.
01:41:13.000 I swear to God, that's going to be good in about four months.
01:41:16.000 That bit's in the oven right now.
01:41:17.000 Because there's concepts that you have that you go, there's got to be a way to make this work.
01:41:22.000 But that way that I just did is not the way.
01:41:24.000 And you always trust the reaction you get.
01:41:26.000 In other words, you don't tell a joke, it bombs, and you say, actually, I think it was their problem and not mine.
01:41:30.000 Never.
01:41:31.000 It's never their problem.
01:41:33.000 There's not a chance in hell.
01:41:34.000 You can have a bad audience where a good joke doesn't go over because they're drunk and they're not paying attention or they're heckling.
01:41:40.000 That's possible.
01:41:42.000 But that's the anomaly.
01:41:44.000 If you have a bit and you think it's a great bit and the audience doesn't laugh, they're right.
01:41:50.000 Maybe another audience would laugh.
01:41:53.000 Maybe you're doing it in the wrong demographic or what have you, but most likely that joke sucks.
01:42:01.000 And most likely you have these ideas and you need to figure out how to rework them.
01:42:06.000 Chris Rock told me that, he's that famous bit that I love black people, I hate the N-word, right?
01:42:14.000 That bit, he said, took him a year to work out.
01:42:17.000 A full year.
01:42:18.000 He said it was bombing, he couldn't get it to work right, he'll fuck up his act, but he knew there was a way to do it, and then it became...
01:42:26.000 One of the greatest bits of all time.
01:42:29.000 It became this incredible classic bit.
01:42:31.000 But that was from him grinding, just chipping away at it, reworking it, bringing it on stage.
01:42:37.000 It eats shit.
01:42:38.000 You bring it back.
01:42:39.000 You go over it.
01:42:40.000 You ponder it.
01:42:41.000 You ask questions of other great writers.
01:42:43.000 Like, what do you think?
01:42:45.000 And they're like, well, maybe this, maybe that.
01:42:47.000 And then you try it again, and he keeps doing it.
01:42:49.000 And he does it a hundred times or two hundred times, and then eventually it becomes bulletproof.
01:42:54.000 And then he gets it down to that form that you see it on his comedy special, where it's just boom, punchline, bam, punchline, boom, punchline, bam!
01:43:02.000 And people are like, ah!
01:43:03.000 Because it's so good.
01:43:04.000 But there's a process to doing that.
01:43:06.000 And sometimes you have this idea in your head and you're like, I think there's something there.
01:43:11.000 I just got to figure out how to get into their head.
01:43:14.000 And then I got to figure out how to make it in a way.
01:43:17.000 What's the most palatable way for people to digest this idea?
01:43:20.000 Because comedy is essentially a mass hypnosis, right?
01:43:23.000 You're getting the audience to allow you to think for them for a brief period of time.
01:43:27.000 And so if you're at your best, the punchlines are sneaky.
01:43:32.000 They come where you don't expect them.
01:43:35.000 You take people on this ride.
01:43:36.000 They're assuming, because they're letting you think for them, that you're a thoughtful person.
01:43:40.000 You're not going to make them feel bad for liking you.
01:43:42.000 And that's one of the things that people really hate.
01:43:44.000 You say something mean or something thoughtless.
01:43:47.000 You betray.
01:43:48.000 Yeah, you betray their trust because they've trusted you to think for them.
01:43:52.000 So you have to be considerate about people's sensibilities and feelings.
01:43:56.000 Especially when you're breaching a sensitive issue.
01:44:00.000 You have to dance.
01:44:02.000 You have to figure out a way to make this thing compatible to people's thought patterns.
01:44:09.000 It's funny.
01:44:10.000 I don't.
01:44:12.000 I'm not a stand-up comedian, but I give a lot of speeches, like in conferences and corporate settings, which is a very – in some ways a very different animal and in some ways quite a similar animal.
01:44:24.000 I've been doing it for 20-odd years now.
01:44:27.000 And the thing I'm always – That blows me away is how different audiences are.
01:44:37.000 One thing that you – after doing it for about 10 years, you start to get a little bit smarter about reading the room at the beginning to know who they are and what.
01:44:49.000 It makes a difference.
01:45:00.000 In my case, the punchline is not necessarily a joke, but it's the payoff to whatever story I'm telling.
01:45:05.000 Some people, when they see it coming, if you think about it as a line, they'll reward you the minute they see it.
01:45:12.000 They see it off on the horizon.
01:45:14.000 And they'll be like, oh, it's coming, and they encourage you.
01:45:17.000 Some people will wait until the last possible moment...
01:45:21.000 And then some people will wait a beat after the punchline is over and then think about it and reward you.
01:45:27.000 Those three audiences, that makes a world of difference in how you tell the story, in your expectation going in, in – because if you think it's an early rewarding audience and it's a late rewarding audience, you can get – you'll be 10 minutes in and you're totally bummed out because you think it's a disaster.
01:45:46.000 But in fact, it's not.
01:45:47.000 And then you get – I develop all of these – I don't know if they're true or not.
01:46:00.000 We're engineers early on a Monday morning in Minneapolis in February.
01:46:05.000 So it's freezing.
01:46:06.000 It's 8 o'clock in the morning.
01:46:07.000 They're engineers and they're all white guys.
01:46:09.000 They're like Norwegians, right?
01:46:11.000 An incredibly thoughtful, interesting audience.
01:46:14.000 Listen to every word, but they are not going to reward you until they have thought about what you said and they'll wait like...
01:46:22.000 There's a five-second lag between whatever payoff you give and their response.
01:46:27.000 If you go – I've also given a talk to like a group of teachers in New Orleans.
01:46:34.000 So there you have a room that is largely female that will be much more diverse.
01:46:40.000 So maybe 50% black, for example, 20% Hispanic, 30% white, just way more – They're going to reward you the minute they see it coming.
01:46:50.000 They're teachers, first of all.
01:46:51.000 So their whole thing is about listening, rewarding, you know, seeing the best in something and celebrating it.
01:46:59.000 I mean, completely different.
01:47:01.000 And if you go into the...
01:47:03.000 Engineers in Minneapolis and the teachers in New Orleans with the same expectation, it's going to be a disaster.
01:47:11.000 Teachers just want to find a way to love you, right?
01:47:14.000 And also there are women.
01:47:16.000 Women, I think, in my experience, are far more generous.
01:47:19.000 Then men as audience.
01:47:21.000 I don't know if you feel the same.
01:47:22.000 Yeah, probably.
01:47:23.000 Yeah.
01:47:23.000 But so that like – and I took a long time to figure that out because you – for the longest time, I would walk away from someone I would think – from some talks and would think I just did – committed the worst possible offense.
01:47:34.000 You're doing a different thing, though.
01:47:36.000 Your dance is very different, right?
01:47:39.000 First of all, you're giving these speeches and you're doing it in these corporate environments.
01:47:44.000 You're doing it in conference rooms, I would imagine, and different kind of halls.
01:47:49.000 Yeah.
01:47:51.000 Bright lights.
01:47:52.000 Yeah.
01:47:52.000 I'm doing it at comedy clubs, theaters, and arenas.
01:47:57.000 So comedy clubs, they know what they're getting into.
01:48:00.000 And it's set up.
01:48:02.000 Like if you go to the comedy store or the improv, it's a low ceiling.
01:48:07.000 It's a great hot mic.
01:48:08.000 There's a great sound system.
01:48:10.000 There's opening acts that warm everybody up before I get there.
01:48:14.000 The stage is set.
01:48:16.000 And it's an environment that it's been established for decades.
01:48:21.000 This is a place to go to hear people tell jokes.
01:48:24.000 You're doing it – so you don't have an opening act.
01:48:28.000 You're doing it – they don't even know if you're going to be funny.
01:48:31.000 They don't know what you're going to do.
01:48:32.000 You're going to talk – yeah, you're going to talk about things.
01:48:35.000 They've been sitting in the same air-conditioned arena for six hours with one small break.
01:48:40.000 I mean it's like – and listening to really doing work.
01:48:44.000 Yes.
01:48:45.000 Yeah, it is very, very different.
01:48:46.000 It's a super interesting – I find it incredibly rewarding and I also find it sort of – it reaffirms my kind of faith in humanity for some reason.
01:49:01.000 Interesting.
01:49:02.000 I really – I'm very, very happy that I started doing it.
01:49:05.000 I started doing it years and years ago.
01:49:06.000 Just to communicate with large groups of people, that reaffirms your faith.
01:49:10.000 In what way?
01:49:10.000 Because I'm always struck by how open – I think a lot of the rhetoric in our society now about how divided we are and blah, blah, blah.
01:49:19.000 I just think it's bullshit.
01:49:20.000 I think we're divided online.
01:49:22.000 Online, yeah.
01:49:22.000 I think if you talk to people person to person, we find a way to find common ground.
01:49:26.000 Yeah.
01:49:27.000 And you go to these meetings and you know that half of the room voted one way and other half voted the other way.
01:49:33.000 Right.
01:49:49.000 Then people will listen and engage and ask really good questions.
01:49:53.000 And I don't see – it's so funny that Washington is divided and online is divided.
01:49:58.000 I just don't see it elsewhere.
01:50:00.000 Maybe I'm not getting an accurate picture of the whole country.
01:50:05.000 But in these – give a talk with a group of whatever, educators in – Well, I think when it comes to political discussions, that's when people get really divided because I think they feel like they're supposed to be divided.
01:50:19.000 There's a really interesting video that I watched yesterday where Donald Trump Jr. was getting heckled by these alt-right characters for not being right-wing enough.
01:50:27.000 I was like, holy shit!
01:50:30.000 But I took a lot of pleasure in watching that play out, not because I want Donald Jr. to get heckled, but because this is what I've always said.
01:50:42.000 There's people that are just extreme.
01:50:45.000 And it doesn't matter if they're in Antifa or if they're in the Proud Boys, if they're far left or far right, it's the same thing.
01:50:52.000 They're just finding an ideology and they're taking it to the extremist level and they're angry at the people who aren't woke enough.
01:50:59.000 Or they're finding an ideology and they take it to the furthest level and they're angry at people that aren't separatists, that aren't white supremacists.
01:51:05.000 They're angry at people that like Mexicans at all.
01:51:08.000 Any Mexicans.
01:51:10.000 I mean, there's people that are that racist, that are mad at subtle racism.
01:51:20.000 Yeah.
01:51:33.000 Overwhelming good of the world, harmony, peace, love, compatibility, communication and community.
01:51:40.000 That's not what their concern is.
01:51:41.000 Their concern is finding ways you're wrong.
01:51:43.000 So finding ways that they're right and ways that you're wrong.
01:51:47.000 So they'll find some reason why you're not woke enough.
01:51:52.000 My response to that was slightly different, although I think a lot of what you're saying is accurate.
01:51:58.000 The reason they got upset with him was that he wouldn't do a Q&A. Yes.
01:52:03.000 Okay.
01:52:04.000 Now, as someone who's on his book tour and has been doing this for 20 years, let me just say, you have to do the Q&A. The Q&A is symbolically crucial.
01:52:14.000 It's like everyone says, okay, everyone sees, you get up there and you do your prepared bit.
01:52:19.000 And everyone's like, okay, fine.
01:52:21.000 I know you can do your prepared bit, but you're asking me to spend $28 on a book and And what I want to know is, are you someone who is meaningfully engaged in the ideas that you're talking about in your book?
01:52:32.000 Right?
01:52:33.000 So, Q&A is where you prove that to me.
01:52:36.000 Yes.
01:52:36.000 Prove that you're thoughtful.
01:52:37.000 Prove you care about this stuff.
01:52:39.000 Prove that you wrote this and someone else didn't.
01:52:41.000 Prove all those things.
01:52:42.000 Yes.
01:52:42.000 He wouldn't do it.
01:52:43.000 I'm sorry.
01:52:44.000 It's kind of weird because he just did the view.
01:52:47.000 Which is like the worst way to have a Q&A. I had fun on The View.
01:52:51.000 But I'm saying in that situation, everyone's talking over everybody.
01:52:55.000 You really don't get a chance to express full thoughts.
01:53:00.000 Yes.
01:53:01.000 If he could do The View, he could certainly do Q&A at UCLA. Was it?
01:53:08.000 Was it really?
01:53:08.000 What was interesting too is that what he was using as an excuse was that the left-wing media is going to take his quotes and take him out of context.
01:53:21.000 Dude, I have no sympathy for him.
01:53:23.000 Well, in that case, no.
01:53:24.000 Didn't make any sense.
01:53:25.000 Didn't make any sense.
01:53:26.000 Just say something intelligent and meaningful and you'll be taken seriously.
01:53:29.000 That's the way the world works.
01:53:31.000 Well, there's a whole video.
01:53:32.000 I mean, if someone takes it out of context, you could always show the entire video.
01:53:35.000 Hey, that's out of context.
01:53:37.000 Why is he playing the helpless crowd?
01:53:38.000 He's probably exhausted.
01:53:41.000 Well, I mean, as someone who's in...
01:53:43.000 Like I said, in the middle of a book, I got no sympathy for that either.
01:53:46.000 That's what you do.
01:53:49.000 Listen, I have no sympathy for him either in this case.
01:53:52.000 I do not.
01:53:54.000 I found it very amusing.
01:53:56.000 His wife or girlfriend, I've forgotten which of those things she is, she then disses the crowd about how the only way they could get dates is online because nobody would – did you see that?
01:54:06.000 It's like rule number two.
01:54:09.000 Rule number one is do the Q&A. Rule number two is don't diss the audience by telling them they're all losers.
01:54:15.000 It's just not.
01:54:16.000 When do you?
01:54:18.000 Well, that's a thing where people want to just get you.
01:54:22.000 You got them, so they want to get you.
01:54:24.000 People are booing, fuck you, you're a loser.
01:54:26.000 No, no, no, no.
01:54:27.000 You're a loser.
01:54:29.000 It's just noises instead of going, love.
01:54:33.000 Love ya.
01:54:34.000 Have a good one, guys.
01:54:35.000 Take care.
01:54:37.000 But instead, you're right.
01:54:39.000 Do the Q&A. It's not that hard to answer questions.
01:54:44.000 I think there's a real problem with answering questions in front of a crowd, though, where people screaming out things.
01:54:50.000 I think real thoughtful conversation should be had one-on-one.
01:54:54.000 You and I are having this conversation.
01:54:56.000 It's great.
01:54:56.000 But if there was a third person there talking to, we would have to work that guy in or that girl in.
01:55:01.000 We'd have to figure out when she's talking, when we're talking.
01:55:04.000 And if you got another person, okay, now you got a real problem.
01:55:07.000 Now you have four people.
01:55:08.000 And it's very difficult.
01:55:09.000 If you watch those panel shows, for some reason, the network news shows post-election, pre-election, they're election coverage, they still haven't figured that out.
01:55:19.000 They'll get seven people on.
01:55:21.000 They think it's more the merrier.
01:55:23.000 Like the pregame shows on NFL on Sunday.
01:55:26.000 They got so many guys.
01:55:27.000 Each one of them says one sentence.
01:55:29.000 And they're talking over each other and everybody's trying to get a sound bite off.
01:55:32.000 Everyone has this prepared thing, this zinger.
01:55:35.000 I'm going to get that Trump guy with this one.
01:55:37.000 And they're ready for it and they're trying to interject it and someone's talking over them.
01:55:40.000 And excuse me, I'm talking and then it degrades.
01:55:43.000 Wait, I want to use the opportunity of being on this show to issue a challenge to Donald Trump Jr. Oh.
01:55:49.000 Like, just call me up, Don.
01:55:52.000 And I will accompany you on your book tour and interview you on stage respectfully.
01:55:58.000 We'll do – let's do a Q&A. You and me.
01:56:03.000 We'll ask you questions.
01:56:04.000 I'll do it.
01:56:04.000 Do you want to do that with him?
01:56:05.000 Yes.
01:56:06.000 That's something you want to do?
01:56:06.000 Why do you want to do that?
01:56:07.000 I think it'll be fun.
01:56:08.000 What do you think would be fun about it?
01:56:10.000 Well, I think it would be interesting— Without saying anything that's going to get him to not do it.
01:56:14.000 No, no, no.
01:56:15.000 So let's be clear about a couple of things.
01:56:17.000 Okay.
01:56:17.000 It would not be a stunt.
01:56:19.000 I'm not doing it to do gotcha.
01:56:22.000 I would like to read his book thoughtfully and engage with him in the ideas in it and see for myself exactly the thing I was talking about before.
01:56:32.000 Does he want to meaningfully engage with those ideas, with someone who doesn't necessarily share them, right?
01:56:38.000 Right.
01:56:38.000 Right.
01:56:41.000 I would ask for an hour, and we can do it in lieu of audience Q&A if he likes.
01:56:47.000 I'll just have a conversation with him on stage.
01:56:48.000 So just a conversation in front of an audience?
01:56:51.000 Uh-huh.
01:56:51.000 That would be interesting.
01:56:53.000 Me and Don Jr. I'd pay to see that.
01:56:54.000 Would you pay to see that?
01:56:55.000 Yeah, I would.
01:56:55.000 Let's do it, Don.
01:56:56.000 His book title is the same as my 2016 Netflix title.
01:57:02.000 It's triggered.
01:57:04.000 I got there first though, Don.
01:57:05.000 You did?
01:57:06.000 I beat you by three years, fella.
01:57:08.000 That's question number one.
01:57:09.000 I'll say, Don, I noticed that the title of your book is the same as Joe...
01:57:12.000 Why are you biting Joe Rogan stuff?
01:57:15.000 What's going on over there?
01:57:16.000 He probably didn't know it existed.
01:57:18.000 Bill Maher almost released his HBO specials, Triggered 2. Really?
01:57:22.000 Yeah, he was going to call it Triggered 2. But at least he sent me an email apologizing.
01:57:25.000 You want to get there early.
01:57:29.000 Well, it's not my term.
01:57:31.000 I wouldn't really care if Bill used it or if Donald Trump Jr. used it.
01:57:35.000 I mean, he did, obviously.
01:57:36.000 Is he Donald or Don?
01:57:37.000 Do people call him Don?
01:57:40.000 That's a good question.
01:57:41.000 Isn't he Donald Trump Jr. online?
01:57:43.000 But I think they distinguish – the dad is Donald.
01:57:46.000 Oh.
01:57:47.000 So they call him – I don't know.
01:57:48.000 That's one of the things I could ask him, presumably in our face-off.
01:57:52.000 Maybe we should do...
01:57:53.000 Why am I limiting it to an hour?
01:57:54.000 Let's go Rogan rules.
01:57:56.000 Let's go like two hours.
01:57:57.000 Me and Don Jr. And in the second hour, we really get into it.
01:58:00.000 Yeah, because that's what happens.
01:58:02.000 You could keep it together.
01:58:03.000 People can keep it together for 45 minutes.
01:58:04.000 You can't keep it together for three hours.
01:58:07.000 In three hours, you know who a person is.
01:58:09.000 I once gave a talk in Columbia.
01:58:12.000 And the Colombians take themselves, in the best way, very seriously.
01:58:17.000 They consider themselves the most cultured people in South America, and they think they speak the most beautiful Spanish, and I'm told they may well do.
01:58:26.000 So I was going to go this little kind of lecture tour of major Colombian cities.
01:58:33.000 And I was talking to the organizer.
01:58:34.000 And the standard question you ask is, well, how long I should talk for some period of time?
01:58:39.000 And then we'll do Q&A. Well, how long do you think I should talk?
01:58:42.000 And the guy goes, uh, I don't know.
01:58:45.000 How long?
01:58:45.000 Three hours.
01:58:48.000 He was dead serious.
01:58:51.000 And you realize, like, this is the same.
01:58:52.000 So when Fidel Castro would give those six-hour speeches, you realize it's not just—I mean, Castro, a little bit crazy.
01:59:00.000 But there's also—there are cultures that have an expectation that if you're going to go and hear somebody speak, it's not going to be over in 40 minutes, right?
01:59:09.000 You have to commit to the experience.
01:59:12.000 And they literally wanted me to start at 9 and end at— Noon.
01:59:16.000 Weren't the early campaign speeches for people running for president in the early days of this country, weren't they like that as well?
01:59:24.000 I believe there were long affairs.
01:59:26.000 Yeah.
01:59:27.000 And then you get the Gettysburg Address, which is, what is it, six minutes or something?
01:59:32.000 Or is it the inaugural...
01:59:35.000 I've forgotten.
01:59:35.000 One of Lincoln's most famous speeches is incredibly brief.
01:59:39.000 And you realize in that context where people are used to hours and hours and hours, what an extraordinary – I mean, it is – think about Lincoln as a kind of badass – He's an entertainer, not an entertainer, performer.
01:59:53.000 So he walks into a world where everyone's thinking they're going to be there for two hours.
01:59:58.000 He sits up there and he's done in five minutes.
02:00:01.000 Do you realize what a, just a power move that is?
02:00:04.000 It's fantastic.
02:00:05.000 It is a good move.
02:00:06.000 Imagine him, so he comes in to his like aides and says this, holds it up and it's, you know, you've seen it in the Lincoln Monument on the mall.
02:00:15.000 It's two paragraphs!
02:00:17.000 You know, four, what is it?
02:00:19.000 I'm not, I'm Canadian.
02:00:20.000 Four score, seven years ago.
02:00:21.000 Two years ago.
02:00:22.000 Yes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:00:23.000 Two paragraphs!
02:00:24.000 They must have been like, what?
02:00:26.000 These people traveled by horse and cart four hours to hear you speak.
02:00:31.000 Yeah, right?
02:00:32.000 Yeah, that's it.
02:00:33.000 Such a great move.
02:00:34.000 It is a good move, right?
02:00:35.000 We're still talking about it today.
02:00:36.000 I know, yeah.
02:00:38.000 It's unbelievably beautiful.
02:00:40.000 Every time I go to the Lincoln Monument and read that, I am moved to tears.
02:00:45.000 It is insanely gorgeous prose.
02:00:47.000 As a writer, you must appreciate economy of words, using the right words in the right place and having the right impact.
02:00:56.000 My friend Ari, he has a piece of paper that he has glued to the top of his laptop.
02:01:02.000 From Hemingway, it's a quote.
02:01:03.000 It says, It's true.
02:01:08.000 And there's something about someone nailing writing.
02:01:12.000 Someone just writing something that you go, God damn, we just fucking nailed that.
02:01:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:01:18.000 You have to mean...
02:01:19.000 The trick is always...
02:01:21.000 Even though it's false, you have to hold in your heart the conviction that there is a way to say this perfectly and beautifully.
02:01:32.000 So even when you're in draft one or two or five and it's not there yet, you have to believe it's possible.
02:01:39.000 And the minute you lose that belief that it's possible, it's over.
02:01:43.000 When you write, do you write on paper first and then start typing?
02:01:47.000 The opposite.
02:01:50.000 Type and then print it out because there's certain structural things you can only see, I think, when it's on the page and you've kind of put all the pages in front of you.
02:02:00.000 Print it out, though.
02:02:01.000 You don't write longhand at all, do you?
02:02:03.000 No, no.
02:02:03.000 Print it out.
02:02:03.000 Then I will annotate that draft with a pen.
02:02:09.000 So I will do longhand.
02:02:10.000 Absolutely.
02:02:13.000 I think that our thinking is actually quite sensitive to the The mode that we're using.
02:02:20.000 You think differently when you're typing on a keyboard than when you have a pen in your hand.
02:02:24.000 Not one is better than the other.
02:02:26.000 They're both good.
02:02:27.000 They're just different.
02:02:28.000 It makes sense to use both.
02:02:30.000 Yeah, I agree.
02:02:32.000 Particularly for me, my notes before I go on stage, I always write out.
02:02:40.000 I write my comedy, though, all my thoughts, essays, I write them all out on a keyboard.
02:02:45.000 I write typing.
02:02:46.000 And then when I'm about to go on stage, like the hour or so before a show, I'll write out index cards.
02:02:53.000 And sometimes I'll write out entire bits.
02:02:54.000 If there's a bit I'm working on and it's kind of new, I'll write it all out.
02:02:57.000 And it helps tremendously with my memory.
02:03:02.000 Something about writing things out.
02:03:04.000 But writing to me on paper is so slow.
02:03:09.000 It's so slow for me to actually write the words.
02:03:12.000 For me to get the thoughts out, I want to get the thoughts out with a keyboard because I can just type.
02:03:16.000 I can do it quickly.
02:03:17.000 I can get it done.
02:03:19.000 What I don't do, what a lot of people do do, is voice to text.
02:03:23.000 I don't do that.
02:03:24.000 Never done that?
02:03:25.000 No.
02:03:25.000 Yeah.
02:03:26.000 But wait, I have a question that occurred to me when you were saying you were talking about that schedule that you're on, that you do a special.
02:03:32.000 Every two years.
02:03:33.000 Every two years.
02:03:33.000 So are you starting, when you have to sit down and write new material, are you starting cold?
02:03:39.000 Or do you have, in the previous year, were you kind of building up little bits and pieces that you're now putting together?
02:03:45.000 Yeah, I always have little stuff that I lay aside.
02:03:48.000 Like I have pages and pages of shit that never went anywhere.
02:03:54.000 So I'll go back over that and go, man, maybe this and take that out there.
02:03:59.000 And then I'll introduce all...
02:04:00.000 So usually there's a window of time.
02:04:03.000 Like say if my special, I film it in July.
02:04:06.000 It might not air until October.
02:04:10.000 So in that window, I have those four months to try to create material.
02:04:16.000 Oh, I see.
02:04:16.000 So what I'll be able to do in that window, say I have a bit that I know works, because it's on the special, I'll do that bit, because the people haven't seen it yet, and then after that bit, I will sandwich in some new stuff, and I'll try to make that new stuff come alive,
02:04:31.000 and then I'll add a bit after that that I know is good, and then I'll sandwich in some new stuff.
02:04:41.000 It's sandwiched in between, like, legit bits.
02:04:43.000 And then one of them will catch fire.
02:04:46.000 And I'm like, oh, all right, this one's alive now.
02:04:47.000 Good.
02:04:48.000 When you go back, can you see a trajectory in your comedy?
02:04:52.000 Like, when you go back and look at something, you were a joke that you may have done, I don't know, eight years ago.
02:04:59.000 How do you react to it?
02:05:00.000 Does it still work?
02:05:01.000 I don't.
02:05:01.000 I don't, but if I did, I would definitely see flaws.
02:05:06.000 I would go, that's too wordy, or that's clunky, or that's forced, or I don't like how I acted that out, or maybe that wasn't done yet.
02:05:16.000 There's a cooking period, and everybody has a different take on it.
02:05:21.000 My friend Anthony Jeselnik has a three-year cycle, and he might be right.
02:05:25.000 He takes the first year, he just does clubs in LA and develops material.
02:05:29.000 The second year, he goes on the road, and he goes to comedy clubs on the road.
02:05:34.000 The third year, he takes that to theaters, and then he's ready to film at the end of the third year.
02:05:40.000 And his last special was excellent.
02:05:42.000 But he's just a very good comic, very good writer.
02:05:45.000 But his process...
02:05:47.000 Might be right.
02:05:48.000 There's some guys that were doing it on a one-year cycle.
02:05:50.000 They were doing a new special every year, and I don't think that's right.
02:05:54.000 That's got to be...
02:05:55.000 Yeah.
02:05:56.000 It's too hard.
02:05:56.000 It's not just too hard.
02:05:57.000 The material suffers.
02:06:00.000 It's half-cooked.
02:06:01.000 A lot of it is gooey on the inside.
02:06:03.000 It's just not ready.
02:06:04.000 Yeah.
02:06:04.000 It's just not done.
02:06:05.000 I mean, some of the bits are really good, then some of the bits aren't.
02:06:07.000 And you have to fill the whole hour.
02:06:09.000 And the problem is also when you're doing a special every year, you have your own audience.
02:06:14.000 So those people love you.
02:06:15.000 So they're laughing at stuff that's not even that good.
02:06:18.000 Like, you have to be doing that in front of a bunch of people that didn't expect to see you.
02:06:23.000 And that's hard to do.
02:06:26.000 So a lot of weird tricks you could play on yourself as a comic.
02:06:31.000 You can think you're better than you are, or that the bits are better than they are, or that you don't have to worry about things anymore.
02:06:37.000 You don't have to grind.
02:06:38.000 You don't have to throw yourself into the gladiator pit that is the comedy store on a Tuesday night.
02:06:43.000 But you do.
02:06:44.000 You do.
02:06:44.000 There's no other way.
02:06:46.000 If you want to be top-notch, you have to do the things that top-notch people do.
02:06:50.000 I mean, there's no...
02:06:52.000 There's no books written on this.
02:06:54.000 There's no university course, but all the best people will tell you.
02:06:59.000 There's a process.
02:07:00.000 This is the process.
02:07:02.000 It's one of the weird art forms in that no one teaches it.
02:07:06.000 Anybody who does teach it is terrible.
02:07:09.000 I've never seen a real world-class headliner who sells out theaters who teaches a course on comedy.
02:07:17.000 I've never seen it.
02:07:19.000 And I couldn't teach you how to do it anyway.
02:07:21.000 Because your way of doing it would be very different than Jamie's way of doing it, which would be very different than Stephen Wright, which is very different than Sam Kinison.
02:07:28.000 It's like everybody's got their own weird little thing that makes them funny.
02:07:32.000 It's a matter of what is the process.
02:07:35.000 How do you get it out?
02:07:37.000 Who is your candidate for...
02:07:39.000 I always love in any particular field, there's the insider's choice and then there's the popular choice.
02:07:45.000 The most hilarious one is if you ask an architect who their favorite architect is...
02:07:50.000 99 times out of 100, you will never have heard of that.
02:07:53.000 It's always some obscure German guy from like the 30, you know, or it's some like, you know, experimental Dutch guy who did – he's on one building.
02:08:02.000 And it's like amazing if you – you know, it's like some – he did a church outside of Antwerp and it blew everyone's mind.
02:08:08.000 So who's the – who's your insider's – I would say the insider – A pick is Dave Attell.
02:08:18.000 Because Dave Attell is probably one of the greatest comics of all time.
02:08:22.000 It doesn't get enough love because he has no social media presence.
02:08:26.000 He wears the same hat and the same shirt and the same jacket and the same pants every day.
02:08:32.000 He has no thought whatsoever about his look.
02:08:36.000 All he does is just write new and better jokes constantly.
02:08:39.000 He's one of the most prolific comics, but he'll still have a hard time selling places out.
02:08:44.000 It doesn't make any sense.
02:08:45.000 Although, lately, he and Jeff Ross have done this thing called bumping mics where they go on stage and they sort of work together and they talk shit.
02:08:55.000 Jeff will say something funny and then Dave will say something funny and Dave will do his bits and Jeff will make fun of them and it's really entertaining.
02:09:02.000 They do a series of shows doing that and that has elevated his profile and for that, I'm very, very thankful.
02:09:07.000 How long was he sort of in the wilderness?
02:09:08.000 He's been out there forever.
02:09:09.000 He used to have a show on Comedy Central way back in the day called...
02:09:14.000 What was it called?
02:09:15.000 Insomniac.
02:09:16.000 Yeah, Insomniac.
02:09:16.000 Thank you.
02:09:17.000 And it was like he would go out after shows and they would go do weird things in these towns and he would get blackout drunk.
02:09:25.000 And he was an alcoholic at the time.
02:09:27.000 And he was getting hammered drunk.
02:09:28.000 And then he quit.
02:09:29.000 He got sober and...
02:09:32.000 It's rare in comedy that someone gets sober and becomes much better, but that's what happened with Dave.
02:09:38.000 He's a much better comic now than he even was then.
02:09:41.000 When you see someone like that perform and you're someone who's extraordinarily talented and good, what is your emotional reaction to it?
02:09:52.000 Do you run home and reexamine All the stuff you're doing?
02:09:56.000 It's certainly inspiring.
02:09:58.000 Yeah, when someone's really good, I always want to write.
02:10:00.000 That is the feeling.
02:10:01.000 They're always like, God, I've got to go to work.
02:10:03.000 I've got to get to work.
02:10:04.000 But also, I've cherished and held on to a sacred ember that I'm trying to keep alive.
02:10:11.000 My fan...
02:10:14.000 My love of being a fan of stand-up comedy.
02:10:17.000 I like watching it.
02:10:19.000 I'm a fan.
02:10:20.000 I love it.
02:10:21.000 I like going to see it to this day.
02:10:24.000 I'm working with my friend Joey Diaz tonight, who I think is the funniest guy alive.
02:10:28.000 I'm happy.
02:10:29.000 I'm going to go see comedy.
02:10:31.000 I'm going to see him.
02:10:32.000 I still like watching.
02:10:34.000 I still enjoy it.
02:10:35.000 I didn't for a while.
02:10:36.000 In the early days, I was too ambitious, and I was judging myself versus them.
02:10:44.000 And if someone had a really great joke, I wish I thought of it instead of enjoying it.
02:10:48.000 I'd go, God, why didn't I think of that?
02:10:50.000 And that's poison.
02:10:52.000 And then I realized, luckily, I got very lucky that I figured this out early on, like, you know, a couple, two or three years in.
02:10:59.000 I was like, I used to love comedy.
02:11:01.000 Like, why am I not loving comedy because I'm doing comedy?
02:11:03.000 That's the dumbest fucking thing in the world.
02:11:05.000 The reason why I got into stand-up comedy was because I loved watching it.
02:11:09.000 Now, all of a sudden, I don't like it because I'm jealous or, you know, or it makes me compare myself to them and I don't like the feeling or it makes me...
02:11:19.000 What is that?
02:11:20.000 That's so dumb.
02:11:20.000 And then I realized it, thankfully.
02:11:22.000 And I had a shift.
02:11:24.000 And I caught myself.
02:11:26.000 And I have managed to cherish and nurture that being a fan, that feeling of being an actual fan, the enjoyment of stand-up comedy.
02:11:36.000 I nurture that.
02:11:37.000 So that, to me, is critical.
02:11:40.000 So when a guy like David Tell is on stage, I can enjoy it.
02:11:43.000 I enjoy it.
02:11:45.000 I can sit there Like an audience member and just laugh.
02:11:49.000 But are you, and that's my question is, when you sit in an audience of, say, you're sitting in an audience watching Dave Patel, are you experiencing him differently than the audience is because you're a professional like him?
02:12:02.000 I'm sure somewhat, but I try to shut down the analysis part of my brain as much as possible.
02:12:08.000 I try to shut down, like, why did he write it like that?
02:12:10.000 Why doesn't he do it this way?
02:12:11.000 I try to just be a fan.
02:12:13.000 I try to just watch.
02:12:15.000 But I'm sure...
02:12:18.000 I know some things are coming, or I know the way I would do it, or I know Dave very well, so I know how he would do it.
02:12:25.000 I'm sure there's some sort of difference between...
02:12:28.000 But that's the same as a musician, right?
02:12:30.000 If you're a musician, if you're a guitarist and you're watching an amazing guitarist, even though they're really good, you're probably like, hmm, okay, I see what he's doing.
02:12:37.000 He's doing this thing.
02:12:37.000 You understand technically.
02:12:39.000 You can't turn...
02:12:41.000 My worry as I get older is that increasingly my reactions are simply versions of I would have done it.
02:12:48.000 That's not how I would have done it.
02:12:50.000 As opposed to – so if, say, Pamun comes to me for advice, my first – and I think about, oh, here's the advice I'd like to give on this piece of writing.
02:12:59.000 Actually, a friend of mine yesterday brought to me an essay she's working on.
02:13:04.000 Incredibly interesting essay about the role of women in cinema.
02:13:12.000 So we're walking around and I'm telling her my response to it.
02:13:16.000 And after I give it, my first thought was, wait, did I just say...
02:13:23.000 If I was doing it, I would have done it this way.
02:13:26.000 In other words, did I just simply impose my own standards and preferences on her, which is not advice.
02:13:34.000 That's the worst thing.
02:13:35.000 What you have to do is inhabit her mind And fix it according to her own intentions.
02:13:41.000 And I'm constantly paranoid about the notion that I am not being truly empathetic at the moment of giving advice.
02:13:51.000 I'm just projecting my own...
02:13:54.000 I think that's something that happens when you become so sure of your own methods and professional personality.
02:14:06.000 I wouldn't have done that when I was 25 because I didn't know what it meant to write a Malcolm Gladwell thing.
02:14:13.000 I was just kind of reacting as a human being.
02:14:16.000 But now I kind of have this thing burned into my skull.
02:14:19.000 Yeah, you have a method.
02:14:20.000 I have a method.
02:14:21.000 I mean, I try to mix it up, but I probably still don't.
02:14:24.000 Right, and everybody's method, particularly with writing, right?
02:14:26.000 Everybody's method is very different.
02:14:28.000 Yeah.
02:14:29.000 Everybody's voice is very different.
02:14:31.000 There's some key things with comedy.
02:14:34.000 One of them is, as I said before, the economy of words.
02:14:37.000 It's very important in comedy.
02:14:39.000 If you see the punchline coming too far out, it loses impact with the more words you use.
02:14:44.000 But if you can get the punchline to the people before they see the punchline coming, it has a gigantic impact.
02:14:49.000 That's what my friend Joey Diaz does better than anybody.
02:14:52.000 He does it better than anybody.
02:14:55.000 He sneaks things in on you.
02:14:56.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:14:58.000 This reminds me of, along these very lines, I've often thought this was the, one of the greatest jokes.
02:15:04.000 You probably know this joke.
02:15:06.000 In terms of economy, this is the most economical great joke I've ever heard in my life.
02:15:11.000 And it's from, oh my God, I've forgotten his name.
02:15:14.000 This is Apollo, I've forgotten his name!
02:15:17.000 And I know him.
02:15:18.000 What does he look like?
02:15:22.000 He was in a Lake Bell movie.
02:15:26.000 Lake Bell?
02:15:28.000 Yeah.
02:15:29.000 He's an incredible—he had his own show on—oh, it'll come to me.
02:15:33.000 The joke was, you know, those signs in bathrooms in restaurants, you know, all staff should wash their hands after using the bathroom.
02:15:45.000 Right.
02:15:45.000 Especially Earl.
02:15:46.000 Right.
02:15:50.000 It's two words that transform...
02:15:54.000 Is it Ricky Gervais?
02:15:56.000 No.
02:15:57.000 Especially Earl.
02:15:58.000 So it's like, I cannot go into a bathroom anymore without thinking of that joke.
02:16:03.000 It's so fantastic.
02:16:05.000 It's like, you know, it takes this...
02:16:08.000 I don't need to explain the joke to you.
02:16:11.000 It's just two words have created this lasting image of...
02:16:17.000 Earl, it subverted the whole bathroom thing.
02:16:20.000 I can't go to the bathroom.
02:16:22.000 It's burned into your head.
02:16:22.000 It's burned into my head.
02:16:23.000 Who is it, Jamie?
02:16:26.000 I cannot believe I can't.
02:16:27.000 It's so humiliating.
02:16:28.000 I can't remember his name.
02:16:30.000 It was a New York kind of indie comic.
02:16:32.000 Oh, okay.
02:16:34.000 But I just like that.
02:16:35.000 Like Rogel?
02:16:37.000 No, but we're getting close.
02:16:38.000 We're getting close.
02:16:39.000 It'll come to me.
02:16:40.000 But that's like, I am amazed by the two words part.
02:16:47.000 It's just that you can do it with two words just strikes me.
02:16:50.000 It's the same reason why I'm obsessed.
02:16:51.000 I've always had an incredible love of television commercials.
02:16:57.000 Really?
02:16:57.000 Yes, because the good ones.
02:16:59.000 The idea that you can...
02:17:02.000 Communicate something emotionally powerful or funny or meaningful in 30 seconds is so badass.
02:17:10.000 Like, 30 seconds is nothing.
02:17:13.000 And there are people whose job it is to communicate.
02:17:17.000 And some of the – like, not the run of the mill.
02:17:19.000 Like, 80% of them are relatively straightforward.
02:17:21.000 They don't.
02:17:22.000 But there are – There's a handful that are just magnificent.
02:17:27.000 There was one...
02:17:28.000 I mean, there's a million examples of great ones, but there was one really beautiful one...
02:17:35.000 Which was a Heineken ad.
02:17:37.000 Oh, God, now I've forgotten again.
02:17:39.000 The song they used, where a bunch of kids jump in the back of a cab, and they start singing a Belle Dive DeVoe song.
02:17:48.000 And the cab driver, they're all young, cool hipsters, and they're all crammed in the back, and they're all like a little bit tipsy.
02:17:56.000 And the cab driver is this like crusty old school guy, and it comes to the chorus, and he chimes in.
02:18:03.000 And it's just this moment.
02:18:05.000 It's 30 seconds.
02:18:06.000 And it's fantastic because you're not expecting that.
02:18:09.000 You're thinking – you see the crusty old – it's like a Boston cab driver, right?
02:18:12.000 Like some grizzled Irish guy who's like 70 years old.
02:18:16.000 And you think, oh, you must hate these kids because they're young and beautiful and they're tipsy and it's a Friday night and he's driving a cab.
02:18:23.000 And then the song comes on the radio, and they all start singing along in their kind of drunken way.
02:18:28.000 And then he just joins in.
02:18:30.000 He's right there with them.
02:18:31.000 He's right there with them.
02:18:31.000 And it's fantastic!
02:18:32.000 And it's 30 seconds!
02:18:34.000 Some of them are really great and funny.
02:18:37.000 Remember the Wendy's lady?
02:18:38.000 Where's the beef?
02:18:39.000 Oh, yeah.
02:18:41.000 You'll never forget that one.
02:18:42.000 Three words.
02:18:43.000 Where's the beef?
02:18:44.000 And an image.
02:18:45.000 An old lady screaming, opening up a cheeseburger, looking for the beef.
02:18:49.000 How could you not take off your hat to the person who came up with that?
02:18:55.000 If your set was 30 seconds, It's hard.
02:19:01.000 It's suddenly really, really hard.
02:19:03.000 And you have to make a point.
02:19:04.000 You're trying to sell something.
02:19:06.000 Jerry Seinfeld was going to open up an advertising agency for a while.
02:19:13.000 I know he had done a couple of commercials, and apparently he had written some of the commercials, and he had decided that he was going to write commercials.
02:19:21.000 He was going to do that.
02:19:22.000 I think he's got so much Seinfeld money, he's like, fuck that.
02:19:25.000 Why am I working?
02:19:26.000 What am I doing?
02:19:27.000 I've got a billion dollars in the bank.
02:19:29.000 I'll just go buy a couple more Porsches.
02:19:31.000 Yeah, I mean, he doesn't just have a billion dollars in the bank.
02:19:34.000 He has more coming in.
02:19:35.000 Coming in.
02:19:35.000 Yeah, it's like constantly coming in.
02:19:36.000 Yeah, there's no, it's like a, it just seems to, does he get, does Larry David have the same deal that he does?
02:19:43.000 I do not know.
02:19:44.000 Yeah, I would love to know that fact.
02:19:45.000 I would like to know that too.
02:19:47.000 I don't think he does.
02:19:48.000 I would imagine he doesn't.
02:19:50.000 But I think he's probably extremely wealthy.
02:19:53.000 But he has, in my opinion, the most underrated sitcom of all time in Curb Your Enthusiasm.
02:19:58.000 There's times that I've watched that show where I've been literally weeping laughing, like holding my sides laughing.
02:20:04.000 And it's so odd the way he does it.
02:20:07.000 Do you know how he writes things?
02:20:09.000 Yeah.
02:20:09.000 They have like a place where they like, okay, you're trying to sell me a toaster and Jamie's trying to stop me from buying that toaster, but you're mad at Jamie and you're trying to be persuasive at me at the same time.
02:20:22.000 That's how they write.
02:20:24.000 So they just do multiple takes with really talented people and they find magic.
02:20:31.000 I mean, it's crazy how open-ended it.
02:20:33.000 I've talked to different guys that have been on the show about how they do it.
02:20:38.000 It's amazing.
02:20:39.000 You have to love the amount of trust you have to have in your fellow actors.
02:20:44.000 Yes, yeah.
02:20:45.000 But it's kind of, that's lovely.
02:20:47.000 Yes.
02:20:48.000 Particularly contrasted with this incredibly tightly controlled anal writing process that's in place in so many of those shows.
02:20:55.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:20:56.000 But it's also why that show seems so organic.
02:20:59.000 Yeah.
02:20:59.000 You know, I mean, there's talking over.
02:21:01.000 It sounds real.
02:21:03.000 It's like, you know.
02:21:04.000 I had trouble watching it because it was too real to me.
02:21:07.000 I was just cringing with all of the social awkwardness.
02:21:10.000 He's just constructing one socially awkward situation after another, right?
02:21:14.000 And I couldn't, because I couldn't distinguish it from real life.
02:21:16.000 Yes.
02:21:17.000 I just couldn't bear it.
02:21:19.000 It's too much.
02:21:19.000 It was too much.
02:21:20.000 That's what's so good about it.
02:21:22.000 Did you ever see the one where he has, he's over the rapper's house, crazy eyes, killer?
02:21:27.000 You see the...
02:21:28.000 The rapper has Scarface playing 24-7.
02:21:31.000 I mean, it's Larry David with this rapper.
02:21:34.000 It is fucking magic, man.
02:21:36.000 It's magic.
02:21:37.000 It's so good.
02:21:40.000 He's a genius.
02:21:41.000 Yeah, oh, he's a legitimate genius.
02:21:43.000 There's no doubt about that.
02:21:44.000 And, you know, he's also like a real legit oddball.
02:21:48.000 Like he drives a Prius.
02:21:49.000 You know, like he is that schlubby guy.
02:21:51.000 He's probably worth $500 million or something crazy.
02:21:54.000 But, you know, he's that kind of schlubby guy.
02:21:57.000 That's the way he – I mean, that's who he is.
02:21:59.000 Those guys were in – am I right?
02:22:01.000 They were in New York, like barely scraping by forever.
02:22:04.000 Yeah.
02:22:05.000 Yeah.
02:22:05.000 Well, he was a stand-up, and he and Jerry knew each other from back then, and he was a weird stand-up.
02:22:13.000 It was an acquired taste.
02:22:15.000 He wasn't burning down comedy clubs.
02:22:19.000 Which comics are not to your taste?
02:22:21.000 I'm not saying that you don't like.
02:22:23.000 I mean that are not to your taste.
02:22:25.000 That is, whose humor just doesn't kind of...
02:22:29.000 I don't know of any.
02:22:30.000 I mean, nothing I could think of offhand.
02:22:33.000 I wouldn't pay attention.
02:22:35.000 One of the things I've gotten really good at as I've gotten older is not paying any attention to things I don't like.
02:22:42.000 Just letting it just slide right out of my brain and onto the floor.
02:22:46.000 I'm not interested.
02:22:48.000 It's just, I spent so much time when I was younger and stupider worrying about things I don't like, being upset at things I don't like.
02:22:55.000 Well, that sucks.
02:22:56.000 Why do people like that?
02:22:57.000 What the fuck's wrong with them?
02:22:58.000 And then realize, like, what a gigantic waste of resources that is.
02:23:03.000 Just a huge waste of energy that I don't care anymore.
02:23:08.000 As long as they're not stealing material, as long as they're not doing something terrible to other comics, victimizing.
02:23:16.000 As long as they're not doing that, I really don't care.
02:23:18.000 As long as they're doing well, good luck.
02:23:20.000 The zen.
02:23:21.000 Yeah, I try.
02:23:22.000 I mean, it's not 100%.
02:23:25.000 It's constantly a work of process.
02:23:29.000 But my philosophy is rooted in some sort of a pragmatic understanding of how my own brain works.
02:23:35.000 Yeah.
02:23:36.000 You only have so much time and you only have so much energy.
02:23:39.000 And if you're wasting your time on things that you don't like, that have nothing to do with you.
02:23:45.000 If people like something, that's how I feel about music and movies and so many things.
02:23:51.000 There's so many things that I just don't like them at all.
02:23:54.000 But some people do.
02:23:56.000 I mean, you know, some people will...
02:23:57.000 I think their music is dog shit, but they'll have a full staple center of people rocking out.
02:24:03.000 Well, I must be wrong.
02:24:04.000 It's not me.
02:24:05.000 It's not them.
02:24:06.000 It's just like everyone's different.
02:24:08.000 People have different tastes.
02:24:09.000 Some people like...
02:24:12.000 Really cheesy rom-coms.
02:24:14.000 They like it.
02:24:15.000 They really enjoy it.
02:24:16.000 They seek comfort in this movie where you know it's going to work out in the end.
02:24:20.000 It's going to.
02:24:21.000 It's not like in the end a fucking meteor is going to land on the building and kill everybody and the screen is going to splatter with blood because their bodies explode.
02:24:31.000 You're not going to see that in this movie.
02:24:32.000 In this movie, everything's going to work out great.
02:24:34.000 It's like...
02:24:35.000 I have that feeling about Law& Order.
02:24:37.000 In fact, one of my – I have no idea why anyone would ever watch that show.
02:24:41.000 And one of my secret goals in life is at some point I would like to be appointed executive producer of Law& Order.
02:24:47.000 And I want to do ones that completely subvert the franchise.
02:24:50.000 So we get you through – Everyone knows exactly how every one of those shows is always going to turn out.
02:24:56.000 And I want to get to minute 47 and then just go on some savage U-turn that just appalls and outrages absolutely.
02:25:03.000 And then I'll be done.
02:25:04.000 I'm quitting and I'm walking off the set.
02:25:06.000 Shut the black.
02:25:07.000 What the fuck?
02:25:08.000 And don't tell anybody that Malcolm Gladwell's taken over.
02:25:11.000 No, yeah.
02:25:11.000 I would push, just gently push Dick Wolf aside and say, let me have this one and we're going to like completely, and we'll have it, you know, the villain will actually be one of the prosecutors.
02:25:24.000 That's what we'll do or something along those lines.
02:25:26.000 And every episode ends like No Country for Old Men style where it's over.
02:25:31.000 You're like, what the fuck?
02:25:32.000 Exactly.
02:25:34.000 But there's something – there's a drug in those where they're comforting and that people know that the bad guy is going to get caught and the good guy – I don't know.
02:25:43.000 This is a random thought, but I don't know any men who watch them.
02:25:47.000 And I've come to the – Belief that they are – there's something – they're actually for women and they're a very comforting kind of reassuring fantasy about how the world works.
02:26:00.000 That the system is – so I had – can I tell you my – this is an incredibly complicated theory that I developed once about these kinds of things.
02:26:09.000 So there's – we all know what a Western is.
02:26:12.000 A Western is where is conceptually a world in which there is no law and order and a man shows up and imposes personally law and order on the territory, the community, right?
02:26:27.000 So, there is also an Eastern.
02:26:31.000 What is an Eastern?
02:26:32.000 An Eastern is a place where, by contrast, is a story where there are four types.
02:26:41.000 The Eastern is where there is law and order.
02:26:46.000 So there are institutions of justice, but they are – have been subverted by people from within.
02:26:52.000 So an Eastern would be the – Serpico is an Eastern.
02:26:55.000 It's a crooked cop who is – it's the bad apple who has, you know, screwed up the – there are lots – tons and tons of Hollywood movies are Easterns.
02:27:04.000 The Northern is the case where law and order exists and law and order is morally righteous.
02:27:11.000 System works.
02:27:13.000 Show law and order is a Northern – It's a functioning apparatus of justice which reliably and accurately produces the correct result in confronting criminality every single day when it's on TV. The Southern is where the entire – wait.
02:27:34.000 The Southern is – all John Grisham novels are Southerns.
02:27:37.000 They are where the entire apparatus is corrupt and where the reformer is not an insider but an outsider.
02:27:44.000 Ah.
02:27:45.000 So in every John Grisham novel, they all proceed—and I love John Grisham, just to be clear—but they all proceed from the same premise, which is the system is rotten to the core, and only this white knight who comes in from the outside can save us.
02:28:01.000 So in the Western, there is no system.
02:28:05.000 In the northern, there's a system that's fantastic.
02:28:08.000 In the eastern, the system is reformed from within.
02:28:12.000 But in the southern, the system has to be reformed from without.
02:28:16.000 That's my complicated – so I feel like anything – you can place all art about law and order, about the criminal world, criminal justice, into one of these four categories.
02:28:26.000 And the – so the Brits love the northern.
02:28:31.000 So what is, you know, all of the famous British detective stories are always northern.
02:28:39.000 Sherlock Holmes.
02:28:39.000 Sherlock Holmes is a northern.
02:28:41.000 It's like the system is like – and, you know, there's no corruption in the police department.
02:28:46.000 They may be bumbling and Sherlock's got to help them out.
02:28:48.000 But no one's, you know, off on some – there's no – there's never a case where there's a rotten cop who's selling out every – Is there a modern version of the Western?
02:28:58.000 Because Westerns all seem to take place between the time of like 15, 1600, and 1880. Yeah, there is.
02:29:06.000 Do you read the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child?
02:29:10.000 No, but I watched one of the movies, the Tom Cruise.
02:29:13.000 Those are Westerns.
02:29:15.000 You'll never – the whole thing about a Western is can you find the police officer?
02:29:20.000 I challenge you to find a police officer in a Lee Chod novel.
02:29:26.000 They're nowhere to be found.
02:29:27.000 Reacher is a retired – the hero is a retired Army investigator.
02:29:31.000 He's not even in the Army anymore.
02:29:33.000 He's just roaming around the country solving crimes on his own.
02:29:37.000 He'll confront some massive criminal conspiracy and he never calls the cops.
02:29:43.000 Right?
02:29:43.000 Right?
02:29:44.000 That's the whole premise.
02:29:45.000 That's so Western.
02:29:46.000 You can't call the cops in the classic Western because there's no cops to be found.
02:29:49.000 Right?
02:29:50.000 You're in Montana on the border.
02:29:52.000 But Reacher, it's a 21st century Western.
02:29:55.000 So he doesn't call the cops because he doesn't feel like it.
02:29:58.000 It's just like they never appear.
02:30:00.000 And he just murders everyone on his own and then he gets on the train and goes to the next place.
02:30:04.000 They're amazing.
02:30:05.000 I love them so much.
02:30:06.000 Do you write fiction?
02:30:07.000 No.
02:30:08.000 Never.
02:30:09.000 I mean, I read so many thrillers.
02:30:12.000 I read like, I mean, I probably read, how many do I read a year?
02:30:18.000 50, 60, 70. Really?
02:30:21.000 You know when you go in the airport?
02:30:23.000 That's a lot.
02:30:23.000 You know the Hudson News and you see all those, there's a whole like wall of those thrillers?
02:30:28.000 I have read every single one of them.
02:30:29.000 That means you're reading more than one a week.
02:30:31.000 Yeah, easy, yeah.
02:30:32.000 Wow.
02:30:33.000 And then I read on top of that, I read my serious stuff, but I devour.
02:30:37.000 People send me, publishers send me these things in the mail, just because I don't have to buy them anyway.
02:30:43.000 They know that I'm obsessed.
02:30:45.000 Like Lee Child's, although he didn't with his most recent.
02:30:48.000 Lee Child's publisher, for years you'd send me galleys.
02:30:51.000 They didn't send you one.
02:30:53.000 Not recently.
02:30:53.000 What happened?
02:30:54.000 I think they've forgotten me.
02:30:55.000 They fucked up.
02:30:56.000 They fucked up.
02:30:59.000 Are you consuming all of it reading, or does any of it book on tape?
02:31:04.000 No, I'm reading it all.
02:31:05.000 I mean, I'm reading them in...
02:31:08.000 Breakneck Speed.
02:31:09.000 And I'm...
02:31:10.000 But I do...
02:31:11.000 There's a guy I love.
02:31:12.000 I love...
02:31:13.000 One of my favorites is Stephen Hunter, who writes the...
02:31:15.000 You know, they made some movies of his stuff.
02:31:17.000 Bob Lee Swagger, these sniper movies.
02:31:19.000 They're fantastically well written.
02:31:21.000 And those...
02:31:22.000 The minute he comes out with a new one, I read it the instant.
02:31:26.000 I mean, I have to.
02:31:27.000 It's just like...
02:31:28.000 There's just such delights.
02:31:30.000 I've never heard.
02:31:30.000 Oh, he's so good.
02:31:31.000 Really?
02:31:32.000 Yeah, so good.
02:31:33.000 Anything with the word sniper in it is generally one of his books.
02:31:37.000 Movie Shooter with Mark Wahlberg was one.
02:31:39.000 I didn't see that.
02:31:40.000 Was it good?
02:31:40.000 The books are fantastic.
02:31:43.000 I would recommend them wholeheartedly.
02:31:45.000 How do you have the time?
02:31:47.000 To read all these books.
02:31:51.000 Well, that's my job.
02:31:52.000 Not reading thrillers, but my job is reading books.
02:31:55.000 Literature, yeah.
02:31:56.000 You know, I read very quickly, I suppose, but I don't watch a lot of TV. I just watch a little bit of sports.
02:32:04.000 I don't really watch much.
02:32:05.000 So there's not a lot competing for my attention.
02:32:08.000 But, you know, I know the book that I will read tonight at...
02:32:11.000 Dinner.
02:32:12.000 So when you set out to write a book, do you have a premise stewing in your head where it's just like throbbing, where you're like, that's it, that's the one?
02:32:22.000 Or do you...
02:32:23.000 Halfway in, I'll get it.
02:32:24.000 I'll start.
02:32:25.000 Oh, so you start a book?
02:32:26.000 With a little kernel.
02:32:28.000 There'll be a story I'm interested in, and I'll write it up, and then I'll see where can I go from there.
02:32:35.000 Like there'll be...
02:32:36.000 Every one of my books began as a very, very simple...
02:32:39.000 One chapter.
02:32:40.000 I didn't know what surrounded the chapter, but there was something in talking to strangers, I got interested in these spy stories.
02:32:50.000 That story I tell of Anna Montez, the Cuban spy who rises to the top of the American intelligence establishment.
02:32:57.000 I began with that, and I went and talked to the guy who caught her.
02:33:02.000 I had such a fantastic interview with him, and that just got me incredibly excited.
02:33:07.000 That got me in this whole thing about here's a woman spying in plain sight for Castro at the top of the American intelligence establishment for 10 years.
02:33:17.000 No one catches her, even though she's not some master spy.
02:33:20.000 She has the codes that she's using in her purse.
02:33:25.000 Wow.
02:33:31.000 Wow.
02:33:45.000 All the stuff.
02:33:46.000 Do you think anybody ever gets away with it to retirement and then is never busted?
02:33:50.000 Oh, absolutely.
02:33:51.000 In fact, so I go and I interview the guy who caught this woman in Montez and I'm leaving to go back to drive back.
02:34:00.000 He's in a small town in Wisconsin.
02:34:02.000 And as one does, I turned off my tape recorder and put it in my bag and I'm walking back to my car.
02:34:08.000 He says, I'll walk you to your car.
02:34:09.000 I was like, okay.
02:34:10.000 And we're walking down the street and he begins to tell me another story.
02:34:17.000 What the fuck?
02:34:22.000 What the fuck?
02:34:36.000 It was one of those things where when he put together all the pieces to catch this one woman, Anna Montez, he realized, oh, there's someone else, and then he retired.
02:34:47.000 Whoa.
02:34:49.000 The implication was he couldn't get anyone else interested in finding the other bigger one.
02:34:52.000 But he knew there was someone out there, but he didn't know specifically who they were?
02:34:56.000 No, he knew there was someone...
02:34:58.000 I forgot, of course, because it was this tragic thing where I turned off my tape recorder.
02:35:02.000 Go find him.
02:35:03.000 How did you not...
02:35:04.000 Hold on, stop, stop, stop.
02:35:05.000 Let me put this back on.
02:35:07.000 Do you think he would have told you the story if your tape recorder was running?
02:35:09.000 Don't think so.
02:35:10.000 Ooh, fuck.
02:35:12.000 It's kind of great.
02:35:13.000 It's great.
02:35:14.000 He was incredibly interested.
02:35:16.000 That's where Siri comes in.
02:35:17.000 Hey, Siri, record this.
02:35:19.000 That's right.
02:35:21.000 He was...
02:35:22.000 But I think, you know, if you're in that world, you just assume...
02:35:26.000 Yeah.
02:35:26.000 They all assume they're spies.
02:35:28.000 Like we have them – we have them in their – so it's like they're not as – maybe they're not as worked up about it as we are.
02:35:33.000 I don't know.
02:35:34.000 Yeah.
02:35:35.000 There was a story recently where Iran assassinated some people that they suspected were CIA spies.
02:35:45.000 And I always wondered, like, how many people are spies?
02:35:49.000 And like, you know, homeland style, living in some other country, assimilating into their culture, getting jobs in organizations, even in terrorist groups, infiltrating.
02:36:01.000 What a crazy way to live your life.
02:36:03.000 Well, there was a story I told in one of my podcast episodes, Visionist History, season two, I think, that I ran across.
02:36:10.000 I love reading these memoirs of, like, mid-level, retired intelligence officers, and there's tons of them.
02:36:16.000 And people don't really read them, and I love—because invariably, like, in the middle of the book, they'll tell you some—they'll just drop some crazy story.
02:36:26.000 And this guy, it was the former general counsel of the CIA, wrote his memoirs, really interesting memoirs, and immediately tells a story about how the CIA, a guy who was a really big deal terrorist in the 70s and 80s,
02:36:44.000 really big deal, has a change of heart and comes to the CIA and says, I no longer believe in what I'm doing.
02:36:52.000 I'd like to work for you.
02:36:54.000 And proceeds to work for the CIA for some period of time, unknown period of time.
02:36:59.000 And he's way up high in Middle Eastern terrorist organization.
02:37:03.000 And that fact leaks to the New York Times.
02:37:08.000 And a reporter for the New York Times basically writes a story outing him.
02:37:13.000 And the CIA frantically tries to get in touch with him to warn him.
02:37:17.000 And he vanishes.
02:37:20.000 They think he was killed.
02:37:22.000 Fuck that reporter.
02:37:24.000 It was a really interesting...
02:37:26.000 What do you do if you're a reporter and you have something like that, though?
02:37:28.000 That's what the episode was all about.
02:37:30.000 Because your whole job is to release information.
02:37:33.000 Your whole job is to report on things.
02:37:36.000 So here you have this bombshell of a story that'll make you look like a hero, but it could get someone killed.
02:37:41.000 What do you do?
02:37:43.000 Fuck.
02:37:44.000 What I didn't realize is that...
02:37:46.000 There's an established pattern of people at the intelligence services and editors of newspapers talk all the time about things like this.
02:37:54.000 So they have arrangements.
02:37:56.000 Yeah.
02:37:56.000 But in this case, the arrangement didn't work.
02:38:01.000 Malcolm, you're awesome.
02:38:02.000 Let's wrap this up.
02:38:03.000 Thank you.
02:38:04.000 Thank you, Joe.
02:38:04.000 I really appreciate your work.
02:38:06.000 Like I said, I've been a gigantic fan for a long time, so this is a real treat for me.
02:38:10.000 And would you do this again?
02:38:11.000 I would be delighted to.
02:38:12.000 Thank you.
02:38:13.000 Thank you very much.
02:38:13.000 Appreciate it.
02:38:14.000 Thank you, Joe.
02:38:14.000 Bye, everybody.
02:38:17.000 That was great.
02:38:18.000 That was fun.