The Joe Rogan Experience - December 13, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1400 - Tony Hinchcliffe


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 48 minutes

Words per Minute

179.06398

Word Count

30,226

Sentence Count

3,323

Misogynist Sentences

131


Summary

Comedian Eddie Murphy joins Jemele to discuss his stand-up comedy career and how he became one of the most successful comedians of all time. He also talks about the first time he saw a movie and how it changed his perspective on comedy and comedy in general. Plus, Eddie talks about how he first met Bill Cosby and the impact it had on his comedy career, and why he thinks Bill Cosby should have been kicked out of the standup comedy club he was in at the time. Plus, he talks about why he doesn t think Bill Cosby is as funny as he used to think he was, and what it was like to be a black comedian in the 80s and early 90s. And, of course, he tells the story of how he almost got into a run-in with Bill Cosby. And, he gives us the inside scoop on how he was introduced to the world of comedy by a famous standup comedian, Richard Pryor. Enjoy the episode and remember to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share, and Retweet! Thanks for listening and Share this with a friend who needs a good story about a good ol' ol' day job! XOXO, Jeromy and Jeromy Cheers, Cheers. -Jon & Jon Jon & Rory -The Jeromy & Rory Crews Don't Tell a Friend About This (Jon & Rory) Music: Jon and Jon and Rory - Rory - Thank You, Jon - Jon - Mike - and Jon -and Jon - and the rest of the Crew - Jake - and Jon & Rachael - and Rachie - and Rael - Sarah - and Sarah - & Sarah -and the rest & R.J. -and R.B. - and everyone else - and all the rest - - and so much more! -and, and R.A. & RYAN - and a bunch of other people who need to know about this? & RACHIE - and they can do it, too, and they'll do it better than you do it so they can have the chance to do it! and they don't have a good time, and it's better than they do it in a way that you can do more than that, and we do it like that, too much of it,


Transcript

00:00:00.000 three two one boom check out this new richard prior plastic cell come on live on the sunset strip iconic that was uh really the first thing that i ever saw that made me truly understand the power of stand-up comedy i was 13 years old i think maybe 14. my parents went uh took me to see it and uh we were in the audience I remember thinking,
00:00:26.000 how is this guy so funny just talking?
00:00:29.000 How is this possible?
00:00:30.000 I was thinking all the movies that I'd seen that were really funny.
00:00:33.000 I don't remember what was out back then.
00:00:35.000 Maybe Stripes, which was a great movie that I loved.
00:00:38.000 So funny, so funny.
00:00:39.000 But this guy was way funnier.
00:00:40.000 And all he was doing was talking.
00:00:42.000 And I couldn't believe it.
00:00:43.000 I remember there was a moment in the movie where he was killing.
00:00:46.000 And I just turned and looked at the people in the audience.
00:00:48.000 And people were just...
00:00:50.000 Flailing up and down.
00:00:52.000 The whole body was laughing.
00:00:55.000 They were throwing their bodies around.
00:00:57.000 I was like, this is incredible.
00:00:59.000 I've never seen anything like this.
00:01:01.000 Super powerful.
00:01:02.000 Dude, it hit me hard.
00:01:03.000 It wasn't like I wanted to be a comic right then and there.
00:01:06.000 I really didn't want to be a comic for another eight years.
00:01:10.000 But fuck, that was crazy.
00:01:13.000 What were those things on back in the day?
00:01:16.000 Movies.
00:01:16.000 Go to the movie theater.
00:01:17.000 Oh, you saw that in a movie theater?
00:01:19.000 Yeah.
00:01:19.000 Whoa.
00:01:20.000 Yeah, that's why there's so many people around.
00:01:21.000 Wow.
00:01:22.000 Yeah.
00:01:23.000 I just went to people's houses and there was a lot of people over there.
00:01:26.000 I thought maybe it was on HBO or something like that.
00:01:28.000 I thought you were talking about the audience in that crowd.
00:01:30.000 In 1981, this movie must have come out in 80 or 81. If I'm guessing correctly.
00:01:40.000 I think we might have looked this up before.
00:01:42.000 Have we?
00:01:43.000 Yeah.
00:01:44.000 Is it 81?
00:01:45.000 I think I was 14. Might have been 82. It was recorded during 81 and 82, so released March 24th, 1982. Okay, there you go.
00:01:56.000 So, beginning of 82. So, I was probably 15 then.
00:02:00.000 Fuck, man.
00:02:01.000 I'll never forget.
00:02:02.000 Never forget being in that audience, being a young kid.
00:02:05.000 Just looking around at all these people laughing so hard.
00:02:08.000 Who took you to that?
00:02:09.000 My parents.
00:02:10.000 Wow.
00:02:11.000 This is how good this weed is.
00:02:12.000 We just talked about who took me.
00:02:14.000 We just talked about it as a theater.
00:02:15.000 You're like, where'd you see this?
00:02:17.000 HBO? I'm like, no.
00:02:18.000 Tony's become like a crazy old man.
00:02:22.000 Where did you see it?
00:02:24.000 HBO? No, the fucking theater.
00:02:25.000 I told you the people in the theater, I was looking around.
00:02:28.000 Yeah, my parents took me.
00:02:30.000 That's so cool that they would do that.
00:02:31.000 Yeah, they're cool people.
00:02:33.000 They're hippies.
00:02:34.000 I believe that's the special where he talks about a guy named Tony from Youngstown, Ohio.
00:02:38.000 Maybe.
00:02:39.000 It was either that or live.
00:02:41.000 Yeah.
00:02:42.000 Was that the one where they were threatening him?
00:02:46.000 I can't remember the bit exactly.
00:02:47.000 The gangster one?
00:02:48.000 Yeah.
00:02:49.000 Those guys?
00:02:49.000 Yeah, I think that was Live in the Sunset Strip.
00:02:53.000 Yeah.
00:02:53.000 You know what the story about it is?
00:02:55.000 The story about it is that Pryor was there earlier in the week, and he didn't have good sets.
00:03:03.000 Like, the one that he filmed, he just caught magic.
00:03:08.000 You know, but that earlier in the week, you know, that guy's life was chaos.
00:03:13.000 Just chaos.
00:03:15.000 And who could he relate to?
00:03:16.000 He couldn't even call a friend that was like, you know what I mean?
00:03:19.000 You can't call Kevin Hart back then and be like, hey, how do you feel about this?
00:03:22.000 Right, right.
00:03:23.000 It's not like you can call Dave Chappelle or Eddie Murphy.
00:03:26.000 No, it was just him.
00:03:27.000 Well, he did have a conversation with Eddie Murphy when Eddie Murphy got in trouble with Richard Pryor, with Bill Cosby, rather.
00:03:32.000 It's a famous story, because Bill Cosby was telling Eddie Murphy he was too dirty.
00:03:40.000 He was telling them to clean it up while he was raping people.
00:03:43.000 Oh my goodness.
00:03:45.000 Jesus Christ.
00:03:47.000 Wow.
00:03:47.000 Drugging women and then giving out comedy advice.
00:03:50.000 Telling them you're too dirty.
00:03:52.000 Telling Dr. Doolittle to watch his mouth.
00:03:55.000 Well, he became Dr. Doolittle, but back then he was Eddie Murphy Raw.
00:03:58.000 This was actually before Raw, and he put it in Raw.
00:04:02.000 He put it in the conversation.
00:04:04.000 You son of a bitch.
00:04:07.000 Yeah, it was one of the opening, one of the bits in Bra.
00:04:12.000 It was Richard Pryor calling him up.
00:04:15.000 He goes, do the people laugh?
00:04:18.000 Do you get paid?
00:04:19.000 Well, tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up.
00:04:23.000 Wow.
00:04:24.000 That's what he said.
00:04:25.000 He did a Bill Cosby impression.
00:04:28.000 And by the way, people forget how good Eddie Murphy's impressions are.
00:04:32.000 They're fucking insanely good.
00:04:33.000 And his Cosby was amazing.
00:04:36.000 So he's doing this Cosby impression and then he does a prior impression.
00:04:40.000 Fuck, man.
00:04:41.000 Is he still coming back?
00:04:43.000 Supposedly.
00:04:44.000 We can only cross our fingers.
00:04:45.000 It'd be great for everybody.
00:04:47.000 Great for everybody.
00:04:48.000 I hope he blows the fuck up.
00:04:50.000 I hope he fills Madison Square Garden and murders and they do a giant Netflix special there.
00:04:55.000 It's just ten times better than Raw.
00:04:57.000 He can do it.
00:04:58.000 Guy's still healthy.
00:04:59.000 He's still smart as a whip.
00:05:01.000 You know?
00:05:01.000 Still looks fucking great.
00:05:03.000 We went over it on the podcast the other day.
00:05:04.000 Guy is 58 years old.
00:05:06.000 Looks like he's 35. He looks amazing.
00:05:08.000 So healthy.
00:05:10.000 You think he would still, like, push it to the limit?
00:05:12.000 Or do you think he would just have, like, smart bits about common things, like life or whatever?
00:05:17.000 He would push it to the limit of who he is today.
00:05:21.000 You know, he's not this 20-year-old kid anymore.
00:05:23.000 Like, he was in Delirious.
00:05:25.000 You know, Delirious, he was really young.
00:05:27.000 I mean, I want to say he was, like, 22 or something.
00:05:30.000 How old was he when he filmed Eddie Murphy, Delirious?
00:05:33.000 We were in high school.
00:05:35.000 Okay, so I was probably 17 or 18. I might have just graduated high school.
00:05:42.000 I think I was 85 or 86. He was 22. Dude, are you crazy?
00:05:48.000 Oh my god.
00:05:49.000 22 years old.
00:05:51.000 And by the way, that's his first.
00:05:53.000 He had another one right afterwards.
00:05:55.000 I mean, Raw wasn't that long afterwards.
00:05:58.000 Yeah.
00:05:58.000 22. So his perspectives were of a, you know, young, wild 22-year-old dude in the 80s who's like super-duper crazy famous.
00:06:09.000 Yeah.
00:06:10.000 You know, when you say, would he push it now?
00:06:12.000 Yeah, he'd push it now, but he'd push it now as 58-year-old Eddie Murphy just calling bullshit on things.
00:06:18.000 What's nonsense?
00:06:19.000 What's stupid?
00:06:20.000 And the impressions.
00:06:22.000 And I hope he has 20 minutes on Bill Cosby.
00:06:26.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:06:28.000 I hope he just opens up.
00:06:30.000 When I was 22, Cosby called it.
00:06:37.000 It just has a fucking epic bit.
00:06:40.000 He hosts SNL next week.
00:06:43.000 Oh, Eddie Murphy does?
00:06:44.000 Yeah.
00:06:44.000 Wow, so he'll do a little bit of stand-up there.
00:06:47.000 Hopefully, yeah.
00:06:47.000 100%, he's going to do a monologue, right?
00:06:50.000 Goddamn, I bet that's going to be excellent.
00:06:53.000 Wasn't he the guy that David Spade made the falling star joke about?
00:06:57.000 No, what was the falling star joke?
00:06:59.000 I mean, maybe.
00:06:59.000 Back on SNL days, David Spade had that Hollywood Minute segment, and he made a controversial joke about Eddie, because I guess Eddie had just left SNL or something like that.
00:07:13.000 And he goes, hey everybody, look, a falling star.
00:07:15.000 I think it was Eddie Murphy.
00:07:16.000 Oh, Eddie left SNL way before that.
00:07:20.000 Way before David Spade's career.
00:07:22.000 Way before.
00:07:23.000 Dude, when I was hanging out with Phil Hartman, that was in the 80s.
00:07:30.000 Oh, it is about Eddie Murphy about that?
00:07:32.000 This David Spade joke that kept Eddie Murphy off SNL for two decades.
00:07:38.000 Huh.
00:07:38.000 So maybe it was because of his movies.
00:07:41.000 It was definitely quite a bit after he had left the show.
00:07:46.000 Because he had left the show when Delirious was out.
00:07:51.000 He said in an interview in 2011 that they said some shitty things to him a couple times after he left.
00:07:55.000 Right, but it was quite a bit after he left.
00:07:58.000 It wasn't like he just left and then David Spade came on board.
00:08:02.000 I don't think that was the timing.
00:08:04.000 I think David Spade was on way later.
00:08:05.000 By the way, look at that little boy pretending to be David Spade.
00:08:11.000 By the way, that Greta Thornburg girl, the climate girl who yelled at everybody, she's Person of the Year on Time Magazine.
00:08:18.000 Is everybody losing their fucking mind?
00:08:21.000 I think so.
00:08:23.000 Wasn't she on a strike?
00:08:24.000 Look, obviously, climate change is a real thing.
00:08:26.000 Climate change is a real important thing.
00:08:28.000 Let's just get that out of the way.
00:08:29.000 All I'm saying is, what is she?
00:08:33.000 14?
00:08:34.000 15?
00:08:34.000 16. No.
00:08:37.000 No.
00:08:38.000 No, by complaining on television, it doesn't make you the most important person of the year or the most impactful person of the year.
00:08:45.000 You just got lucky that right around the time where they were making this list, you did that thing.
00:08:52.000 They're like, let's pick Greta.
00:08:53.000 Let's pick Greta.
00:08:53.000 It'll trigger Trump.
00:08:55.000 Oh, Trump will get triggered.
00:08:56.000 You know, and apparently Donald Trump Jr. did get triggered.
00:08:59.000 He tweeted about it.
00:09:01.000 They got him!
00:09:04.000 But, yeah, but this is a fucking, if this was four months from now, you would completely forget her.
00:09:09.000 There would be some new thing.
00:09:11.000 See, she caught this wave.
00:09:14.000 I mean, did she have a good little speech there?
00:09:17.000 Yes.
00:09:18.000 It made an impact.
00:09:19.000 You know how many trees had to get cut down to make all those Time magazines that they're putting out?
00:09:23.000 A lot.
00:09:23.000 A lot of trees had to die for that Time magazine.
00:09:26.000 By the way, that all could be avoided with hemp.
00:09:27.000 Far superior paper.
00:09:29.000 Way easier.
00:09:31.000 And that's what got the whole marijuana legalization process started in the first place.
00:09:35.000 It was William Randolph Hearst and his fucking newspaper company.
00:09:38.000 He didn't want to convert over to hemp paper.
00:09:40.000 That's literally what started it.
00:09:43.000 These fucks.
00:09:45.000 Ugh!
00:09:45.000 Greta.
00:09:47.000 Yeah, Greta with her horrible tree paper.
00:09:49.000 She should be ashamed of herself that she let Time Magazine chop down all those trees just to give her something to frame on her wall.
00:09:57.000 Right?
00:09:58.000 I mean, come on.
00:09:59.000 Person of the year.
00:10:00.000 They're going to drive her around.
00:10:02.000 She's going to be fucking polluting the air.
00:10:04.000 They're going to drive her around, fly her around.
00:10:06.000 How much extra carbon will be emitted into our atmosphere because she won woman of the year?
00:10:12.000 Or person of the year?
00:10:13.000 Kid of the year?
00:10:14.000 Yeah.
00:10:15.000 Is this human of the year?
00:10:16.000 What is it?
00:10:17.000 Person of the year.
00:10:19.000 It's so non-gender specific.
00:10:22.000 How many women have won it?
00:10:24.000 Let's guess.
00:10:25.000 How many women have won Time Magazine Person of the Year?
00:10:28.000 Do you know Trump has a fake Person of the Year framed in his house?
00:10:34.000 I think I've seen that.
00:10:36.000 We were watching Home Alone 2 the other day, the one where he's lost in New York, and there's this scene where, have you seen this, where he's walking through the hotel, he gets this fancy hotel, he has his dad's credit card, and he's lost in the hotel for a second, and he's like, hey, excuse me,
00:10:51.000 sir, do you know where this is?
00:10:52.000 And it's Trump.
00:10:53.000 It's Hands up and it's just Trump way back.
00:10:56.000 It's so funny.
00:10:57.000 And then Trump turns around all creepy, looks at his butt.
00:11:00.000 I don't think that's what he's doing.
00:11:02.000 No, I know.
00:11:02.000 I'm kidding.
00:11:03.000 He's looking at him like it's a little boy.
00:11:04.000 Right.
00:11:05.000 Everybody through this movie.
00:11:06.000 It's a really funny movie.
00:11:08.000 Home Alone 2 is like really well written.
00:11:10.000 My mind was blown watching the whole thing.
00:11:12.000 Such a great Christmas movie.
00:11:13.000 And there's so many great actors.
00:11:15.000 And it's an insane lineup.
00:11:17.000 Rob Schneider's actually hilarious in this one.
00:11:19.000 Those are classic movies, man.
00:11:21.000 When we were kids, those were huge.
00:11:23.000 They put it together so well.
00:11:25.000 Like, I'm looking at it now.
00:11:26.000 I guess it's the writer in me or the L.A. guy.
00:11:29.000 Like, I'm looking at movies differently now.
00:11:31.000 And I'm like, this is so beautiful how they made this coincidence happen.
00:11:34.000 Because if you do anything else, first of all, they look like horrible parents, no matter what.
00:11:38.000 First movie, too.
00:11:40.000 Terrible!
00:11:40.000 They get on a fucking plane without their son.
00:11:42.000 Like, who are you?
00:11:43.000 Right, so they really had to make this one work out, and they do such a great job with it.
00:11:47.000 He's replacing batteries, a guy, they're running, of course, still, this late family that can never have their shit together.
00:11:54.000 And he's chasing the guy, and it makes sense, because he runs into the lady taking tickets.
00:11:58.000 You know, it's back when they took physical tickets, and he runs into the ladies chasing the guy that looks like his dad, and the tickets go everywhere.
00:12:05.000 So it makes sense that he doesn't have a seat, and it makes sense that he went to the wrong gate following the wrong guy.
00:12:10.000 Like, everything makes sense.
00:12:11.000 It's beautiful that they can make comedies that way back then could rationalize a family being in a different place than their little child.
00:12:22.000 I wonder if you could do that movie today.
00:12:24.000 People would just shame you so hard.
00:12:26.000 Oh, right.
00:12:26.000 Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:12:27.000 You'd never get a chance.
00:12:28.000 They just announced today they're remaking, not remaking, they're making a new, I guess it's a reboot for Disney Plus of Home Alone.
00:12:35.000 A whole new story, a whole new character.
00:12:37.000 You know what it should be?
00:12:39.000 It's Macaulay Culkin as a 40-year-old man trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him.
00:12:44.000 They put him on these movies when he was a little baby.
00:12:47.000 He's a cool guy.
00:12:48.000 Very nice guy.
00:12:49.000 I had him in here on the podcast.
00:12:51.000 I really enjoyed talking to him.
00:12:52.000 Very smart.
00:12:52.000 Just a very interesting little fella.
00:12:55.000 But, you know, it ain't good for anybody to do that to their kids.
00:12:58.000 Make your kids that fucking famous.
00:13:00.000 Remember how famous Macaulay Culkin was?
00:13:03.000 It's insane.
00:13:03.000 Oh my god, he was giganti.
00:13:06.000 And when you're a little boy and you're growing up giganti like that, and then all of a sudden you're this 40-year-old man where he is now.
00:13:13.000 Really nice guy.
00:13:14.000 Really cool.
00:13:15.000 Really fun to talk to.
00:13:17.000 Recommended by Kevin Smith.
00:13:18.000 Kevin Smith told me I have to have him on.
00:13:20.000 He was like, dude, you gotta talk to the guy.
00:13:21.000 He's great.
00:13:22.000 He really is.
00:13:23.000 Really interesting cat.
00:13:24.000 Just travels around the world, does whatever the fuck he wants.
00:13:26.000 Has a shitload of money, right?
00:13:28.000 From all the Home Alone movies.
00:13:29.000 But...
00:13:31.000 Doesn't spend it.
00:13:32.000 He's not going crazy.
00:13:33.000 He's not buying Ferraris.
00:13:35.000 He just does whatever he wants.
00:13:36.000 He's nothing like his character in the Home Alone days.
00:13:39.000 Well, he's a grown-up.
00:13:40.000 He's a grown-up man of leisure.
00:13:43.000 But I think out of all the people that I've ever met that are famous at a child's age, he might be the best at it.
00:13:53.000 Because I think it's an impossible task.
00:13:56.000 I really do.
00:13:57.000 And I think the only way it really works if you can handle fame is if you've developed character over your life and become an adult and we're nothing.
00:14:08.000 And understand hard work and understand the fortune that you have to be famous or to be successful in show business.
00:14:18.000 But if you grow up like that, man, all your signals are all crossed wrong.
00:14:22.000 All your wires are all fucked up.
00:14:24.000 You grow up thinking that you're super-duper important for no reason, with no work at all.
00:14:30.000 And that you can literally get whatever you want and have people get it for you.
00:14:34.000 Anytime you want.
00:14:35.000 All the time.
00:14:36.000 Like Justin Bieber.
00:14:37.000 How?
00:14:38.000 How?
00:14:39.000 How is he not going to be crazy?
00:14:41.000 How is he not going to be crazy?
00:14:42.000 You tell me.
00:14:43.000 I think he's handling it incredibly.
00:14:45.000 The idea that you're going to hold him to the same standards as this other kid who's also 24, whose dad is a football coach at the high school, and whose mom is a math teacher, and they're really in tight with their community, and he grew up going to scout camps,
00:15:01.000 and...
00:15:02.000 He plays football, and he plays baseball, and he's got a bunch of friends that he grew up with, and they're all normal, and he's had a girlfriend for the past two years, but he doesn't know if he should make it serious when he goes to college.
00:15:13.000 Come on.
00:15:14.000 Come on, man.
00:15:15.000 Yeah, he's a whole different...
00:15:16.000 He's a different kind of person, man.
00:15:18.000 A kid who went to a normal high school and went to a normal college and then became 22 versus...
00:15:24.000 Poor fucking him.
00:15:26.000 Right?
00:15:26.000 Pulled out of school, so you don't have real, like, knowledge of history, can probably barely read.
00:15:33.000 Justin Bieber's, what, 23 or something?
00:15:35.000 Probably worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and probably had girls just launch themselves at him from the time that he was a little boy in a way that no one who's not Justin Bieber's ever gonna understand.
00:15:50.000 Right.
00:15:50.000 And yet we're like, look at this guy!
00:15:51.000 Such a loser!
00:15:53.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 Get your shit together, loser.
00:15:56.000 Instead of looking at it like a child abuse case.
00:15:58.000 Right.
00:15:59.000 It's almost like child abuse.
00:16:00.000 I mean, the best kind of abuse ever.
00:16:03.000 Like, cry me a river.
00:16:04.000 You got a couple hundred million dollars out of it.
00:16:06.000 Buy a therapist, bro.
00:16:07.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 But I don't know if a therapist would work.
00:16:09.000 The thing about something like that is, that's the kind of development...
00:16:14.000 I sound like a psychologist.
00:16:16.000 Someone who barely went to school.
00:16:18.000 But the kind of developmental damage that happens when you don't have to go through all the normal stuff that everyone else did.
00:16:26.000 Here's the thing about one thing that UFC fighters and comics a lot of us have in common.
00:16:33.000 Is that we had shit lives growing up.
00:16:36.000 You were probably bullied.
00:16:39.000 You felt insecure.
00:16:39.000 I got into martial arts 100% because I was scared people were going to beat me up.
00:16:42.000 100%.
00:16:43.000 I wasn't a big kid.
00:16:44.000 I didn't know a lot of people in the high school where I went to.
00:16:49.000 I just moved there.
00:16:50.000 I was like, fuck.
00:16:51.000 I'm so scared all the time.
00:16:52.000 I got to do something.
00:16:54.000 And I went to an easy high school.
00:16:55.000 Newton South was an easy high school.
00:16:58.000 They'd bust these inner city kids, though, that would fuck you up.
00:17:02.000 You've got to be real careful with that.
00:17:04.000 There were some tough people there, but the point is that...
00:17:09.000 If you don't have a motivation to work hard, whether it's to become a stand-up, whether it's to become a martial artist, or anything that you're like, I gotta get out of here, I gotta do something different, I gotta make something happen.
00:17:23.000 You gotta go through shit for that feeling to sort of emerge with enough horsepower to get you some momentum.
00:17:31.000 I can't imagine who I would be if I was famous when I was six.
00:17:37.000 It'd be such a mess.
00:17:39.000 The drugs, they just can't get.
00:17:42.000 They can't pump the serotonin out of their brain fast enough.
00:17:47.000 That's why so many of these people chase these dragons.
00:17:50.000 They also get really depressed when they don't have continual, constant success.
00:17:56.000 A lot of kids that experience an early peak And, you know, everybody loves them, and they're super used to it, and everybody's kissing their ass, and then it drops off.
00:18:04.000 And they're like, what?
00:18:05.000 What do you mean it drops off?
00:18:06.000 And they get crazy, because they want to get it back.
00:18:08.000 How do I get it back?
00:18:09.000 How do I get my relevance?
00:18:10.000 How do I get my this?
00:18:12.000 How do I get my that?
00:18:13.000 Like, you know, you see them get really...
00:18:15.000 Even just young people, like I was reading...
00:18:18.000 Do you remember...
00:18:19.000 Heidi and Spencer from The Hills?
00:18:23.000 Jamie does.
00:18:24.000 Jamie's into it.
00:18:25.000 He's got it on box and everything.
00:18:30.000 Well, that couple was on this reality show and they were everything for a while.
00:18:35.000 Constantly in these gossip papers.
00:18:37.000 Everybody paying attention.
00:18:39.000 And then she got a gang of plastic surgery too.
00:18:42.000 It was very unfortunate.
00:18:44.000 Because it was like public, right?
00:18:46.000 It was like many, many, many, many, many surgeries.
00:18:49.000 She was a pretty girl to begin with.
00:18:51.000 That never works out.
00:18:53.000 You know, you get a very...
00:18:54.000 I mean, look, maybe it kind of worked out with Kylie Jenner.
00:18:57.000 I'm just saying.
00:18:58.000 Yeah.
00:18:59.000 Right?
00:18:59.000 It kind of did work out.
00:19:00.000 But she did a little jaw thing, right?
00:19:02.000 She did a lot of shit.
00:19:03.000 Oh.
00:19:03.000 I don't know what she did.
00:19:04.000 Something happened.
00:19:05.000 Less magic.
00:19:06.000 Less pixies.
00:19:08.000 I mean, I don't know how much she's saying she did.
00:19:12.000 Yeah.
00:19:12.000 But it's just like everything changed for the better.
00:19:15.000 I'm assuming you did something.
00:19:17.000 Yeah.
00:19:18.000 Like, your nose, your face.
00:19:20.000 But the problem with that is, like, really young girls want to do that, too.
00:19:24.000 And some of them...
00:19:25.000 Some of them are hot the way they are.
00:19:28.000 They're just super hypercritical.
00:19:31.000 And everybody else at that age is super hypercritical, too.
00:19:33.000 So if your nose is, like, a little...
00:19:35.000 Bigger than maybe you think it should be, like, I gotta fix it, I gotta fix it.
00:19:38.000 But when you do something like that, especially if it's not like an egregious issue that you really do need to deal with, if you get your nose fixed, like, it looks like you got your nose fixed.
00:19:48.000 So every time someone's talking to you, they're like, you got your nose...
00:19:51.000 That's not your nose.
00:19:52.000 Yeah.
00:19:53.000 Why does that nose not fit your face?
00:19:54.000 It doesn't fit your face because there's a ratio.
00:19:56.000 There's a specific ratio.
00:19:58.000 Like the width of your eyes, apart from your eyes, the length of your head will give you an indication of how long and what shape your nose should be.
00:20:06.000 As weird as it seems, all this shit lines up.
00:20:09.000 The Fibonacci sequence.
00:20:11.000 I think, is it the golden ratio or the Fibonacci sequence?
00:20:13.000 The same thing, kind of.
00:20:14.000 Are they the same thing?
00:20:15.000 The lips are the weirdest thing, right?
00:20:17.000 Oh, that's the weirdest for sure.
00:20:19.000 Well, there's another weird thing when people's foreheads don't move.
00:20:22.000 Like, hey, what's going on?
00:20:23.000 Are you shocked?
00:20:26.000 There's like this thing that they do.
00:20:28.000 It's like, there's no movement at all.
00:20:31.000 I don't mind the fake butts at all, though.
00:20:33.000 The more obnoxious, the better.
00:20:34.000 I'm one of those guys.
00:20:35.000 I don't know what it is.
00:20:36.000 You like it?
00:20:37.000 I love it.
00:20:38.000 You ever grab one?
00:20:39.000 No.
00:20:39.000 If you felt a frisbee inside someone's ass, do you think you would enjoy it?
00:20:43.000 I mean, I just wouldn't touch it that much.
00:20:45.000 I would just stare at it a lot.
00:20:46.000 But you would know that if you touched it, you'd feel that frisbee in there.
00:20:49.000 That half a frisbee to give it some bulk.
00:20:54.000 Dude.
00:20:54.000 Is that what it feels like?
00:20:55.000 I don't know.
00:20:56.000 I'm going to grab one.
00:20:57.000 I would imagine.
00:20:58.000 There's like a wedge in there.
00:20:59.000 It's like a fucking Nerf football in there or something.
00:21:01.000 I think it's more like pudding or something like that.
00:21:05.000 Like squishy.
00:21:06.000 Listen, you know what it is?
00:21:07.000 It's a fucking sign that you're too lazy to go to the gym.
00:21:10.000 Go to the gym.
00:21:11.000 It's not hard.
00:21:13.000 Go do squats.
00:21:14.000 It's not hard.
00:21:15.000 The problem is, girls like Kim Kardashian have set the bar so high.
00:21:20.000 What's that girl's name?
00:21:21.000 Izzy Azalexia.
00:21:22.000 What's her name?
00:21:24.000 Iggy Azalea?
00:21:25.000 That one.
00:21:26.000 That girl's butt is obnoxious.
00:21:29.000 I don't even know about it.
00:21:29.000 That's outrageous.
00:21:30.000 There was a video with her dancing, and it was like watching someone in a wave pool.
00:21:34.000 It was all just wiggling back and forth.
00:21:37.000 Wow.
00:21:37.000 Jamie, what do you think?
00:21:38.000 Can we see some of that?
00:21:39.000 I haven't seen this before.
00:21:40.000 We could see some wiggle.
00:21:41.000 But those girls have set the bar so high with big butts.
00:21:45.000 You have a regular nice ass.
00:21:47.000 It's not good enough anymore for a lot of these girls.
00:21:51.000 Yeah, but I need to see some wiggling.
00:21:52.000 What is that?
00:21:53.000 Is that her over the years?
00:21:55.000 That's what her butt used to look like in 2013. And then she got super addicted to powerlifting, but not with her arms or her upper body at all.
00:22:02.000 It all went into her ass.
00:22:04.000 And then by 2018, she has this badonkadonk.
00:22:08.000 Look at that, though.
00:22:09.000 Isn't that beautiful?
00:22:10.000 Yeah.
00:22:10.000 Looks like she was experimenting with it earlier, though, right?
00:22:12.000 2014. She's like, hmm, just a little bit.
00:22:15.000 Yeah.
00:22:16.000 Just a little bit.
00:22:17.000 Pretty girl.
00:22:17.000 Big ass.
00:22:18.000 Hmm.
00:22:19.000 Whoa!
00:22:19.000 Look at that upper right picture.
00:22:21.000 Look at that.
00:22:21.000 See?
00:22:22.000 That's where it's an issue.
00:22:24.000 That's where you find out what it really is.
00:22:26.000 Not to me.
00:22:26.000 It's not.
00:22:27.000 Oh, come on.
00:22:29.000 Look at Izzy Azalea.
00:22:31.000 How do you say her name is?
00:22:32.000 Iggy.
00:22:34.000 Iggy.
00:22:35.000 Iggy.
00:22:36.000 Iggy.
00:22:37.000 See?
00:22:38.000 That's sad to me.
00:22:39.000 That doesn't...
00:22:40.000 You can get that butt.
00:22:42.000 You just have to do squats.
00:22:44.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:22:45.000 Oh, yeah.
00:22:46.000 Look at that.
00:22:46.000 Dude, that's so wrong.
00:22:48.000 It looks like a human head underneath there.
00:22:49.000 You know Madonna has one of them now?
00:22:51.000 Yeah, really?
00:22:52.000 No.
00:22:53.000 Madonna.
00:22:54.000 Damn.
00:22:55.000 Someone pull her side.
00:22:56.000 I go, hey, look at me.
00:22:58.000 Oh.
00:22:59.000 No.
00:23:00.000 Yeah.
00:23:01.000 Is that real?
00:23:02.000 That's right.
00:23:03.000 That's Madonna you're looking at?
00:23:05.000 Yes.
00:23:05.000 Pull it up.
00:23:06.000 What?
00:23:07.000 Whoa, it looks like she has a bunch of stuff in her pockets.
00:23:10.000 Might be a diaper.
00:23:12.000 Oh.
00:23:13.000 Yeah, dude.
00:23:14.000 I'm telling you.
00:23:15.000 People are doing this.
00:23:17.000 You know what body dysmorphia is, right?
00:23:19.000 Yeah.
00:23:20.000 That's what it is, man.
00:23:21.000 It's like when a woman has double D tits and she thinks she needs ease.
00:23:26.000 I need ease.
00:23:28.000 When a guy's at the gym and he's fucking 350 pounds and he thinks he looks small.
00:23:33.000 When people are anorexic, same thing.
00:23:36.000 It's body dysmorphia.
00:23:37.000 It's an issue with human beings.
00:23:38.000 We don't see ourselves the way other people see ourselves.
00:23:42.000 Thank God.
00:23:43.000 Yeah.
00:23:43.000 It's the only thing that gets you through.
00:23:47.000 It's just, you know, people are fucking, people are vulnerable.
00:23:52.000 That's why it's so weird today, that it's so in vogue to be mean.
00:23:57.000 You know, that being mean for social justice and being mean online is like so common.
00:24:03.000 There's probably more people being mean to larger numbers of people, like just saying mean shit, than ever in history.
00:24:12.000 I think so.
00:24:14.000 Has to be, right?
00:24:16.000 Yeah, I mean, there has to be because of social media, period.
00:24:19.000 Yeah, has to be.
00:24:20.000 Maybe using different words.
00:24:23.000 Well, they're just getting, they're reaching more people.
00:24:25.000 Like, how many people have an audience of 1,200 to talk to?
00:24:30.000 It's very rare in the real world.
00:24:33.000 Yeah.
00:24:34.000 Where 1,200 people find out what your opinions are?
00:24:36.000 Yeah, you'd have to go over an intercom in like a shopping mall.
00:24:39.000 Well, the thing is, if you have 1,200 Twitter followers, do you really know those 1,200 people and how many of them are bots?
00:24:45.000 How many of them just sign up to everybody's account?
00:24:48.000 The bots on Instagram are stunning, and Jamie had a really good point.
00:24:53.000 He said they would never remove all of them, because if they did, it would diminish the number of total users they have.
00:25:00.000 I'm like, oh, I didn't even think like that.
00:25:03.000 Yeah, it's like, they're not paying for them, you know?
00:25:06.000 Right.
00:25:07.000 Fuck up the incentive, bottom line.
00:25:10.000 Every time I put a post up, it's just all bots.
00:25:13.000 Bots comment.
00:25:15.000 I like to put a post up and wait like four seconds and then see how many comments.
00:25:19.000 And it's just bots.
00:25:21.000 Just don't look at my story if you don't want to masturbate and all these water emojis and eggplants and pussycats.
00:25:32.000 Fuck.
00:25:34.000 That's a noise thing, right?
00:25:38.000 The bot thing is just a noise thing.
00:25:39.000 They're just trying to get you to click on their page.
00:25:42.000 Oh, this is a big one they're doing now, too.
00:25:45.000 Is my music any good?
00:25:47.000 I was just going to bring that up.
00:25:49.000 I saw that right here.
00:25:50.000 I was looking at it.
00:25:50.000 But that's not real.
00:25:51.000 No, it is.
00:25:52.000 But it's not an artist, right?
00:25:54.000 No, but there's various...
00:25:55.000 It could be as simple as someone's just trying to draw attention to an account so they could sell that account.
00:26:00.000 In some dummies, one out of a thousand people click and follow that account.
00:26:04.000 Now they've got 10,000 and they can sell it.
00:26:06.000 Right, right, right.
00:26:07.000 That makes sense.
00:26:10.000 Yeah, but it's just...
00:26:11.000 There's never been a time like this where you've got a bunch of fake people talking, too.
00:26:17.000 That's weird.
00:26:18.000 Like there's a bunch of people right now for sure that are posting on Twitter.
00:26:24.000 There's probably thousands of them right now that are doing it because they're getting paid to pretend to be a Republican who's really upset about the libs or they're being paid to pretend to be a progressive Who thinks trans people should be mandatory in every position of power.
00:26:44.000 Some of the wackier positions that people take online are most likely taken up not just from wacky people.
00:26:52.000 There's going to be wacky people for sure.
00:26:54.000 But there's also going to be a certain amount of them, I don't know what the number would be, where these people are getting paid to stir up shit online.
00:27:01.000 I mean, this is the Renee DiResta thing.
00:27:04.000 This woman was on the podcast who studied Russia and these Russian troll farms.
00:27:10.000 There's this thing called the IRA. It's the Internet Research Agency.
00:27:13.000 And they just pay people to tweet.
00:27:16.000 This is one of the things they set up.
00:27:18.000 Some of it's kind of funny.
00:27:19.000 First of all, their memes are hilarious.
00:27:20.000 They do a great job.
00:27:21.000 They make really funny memes.
00:27:22.000 And one of the things they did is they took a...
00:27:29.000 I think?
00:27:43.000 So they're basically just trying to get people to fight each other.
00:27:47.000 So they have this pro-Islam group that's meeting that they completely organize.
00:27:51.000 They completely organize this anti-American group.
00:27:54.000 They completely organize women for Trump, women for Bernie.
00:27:59.000 It's like, as a white woman, I can't support Jill Stein.
00:28:02.000 Or as a black woman, how are we going to let Hillary Clinton run this country?
00:28:06.000 All Russian people just getting paid.
00:28:09.000 This is what we're doing.
00:28:10.000 Who's paying them?
00:28:11.000 The Internet Research Agency.
00:28:13.000 The idea is that they can shift.
00:28:17.000 Look, if you just stop for a moment and think, if you have a close election, like Trump and Hillary, it's a close election, right?
00:28:26.000 She wins the popular vote.
00:28:28.000 He wins the electoral college.
00:28:30.000 But it's close enough, where it's within a million people, one way or the other.
00:28:34.000 If you can get people engaged on a very specific subject, like The impeachment hearings.
00:28:42.000 You can get people engaged and get people to think, God damn it, these Dems, this is a coup.
00:28:48.000 They're trying to take over the fucking country.
00:28:50.000 And you start telling other people, and they start telling other people, and then you got this Facebook page that these folks have put up, and it's got interactions that are going on all day long.
00:29:00.000 People are arguing about it.
00:29:02.000 And if they're jumping in and chiming in, and then the pro-Trump people chime in too, and everybody gets fired up, it's...
00:29:09.000 It's like that goddamn crow and the cats.
00:29:12.000 Remember that video we played the other day?
00:29:14.000 It's 100% like this.
00:29:15.000 Think tanks that think of this stuff all day long and new strategies to do this.
00:29:19.000 New strategies to get people riled up and to get people to fight with other people.
00:29:23.000 So they'll have black lesbians for socialism meet.
00:29:30.000 And it's fake.
00:29:31.000 It's all Russian people that are just pretending to be a black lesbian who's really into socialism.
00:29:36.000 And then, you know, capitalists get on that page.
00:29:39.000 Fuck you, get a job, free market rules, libertarians, the only way to go.
00:29:43.000 And then they chime in back and forth.
00:29:45.000 And they're getting people fired up.
00:29:46.000 And the page gets all this interaction.
00:29:48.000 And sometimes they change pages.
00:29:50.000 Like one of them was like a comedy meme page.
00:29:53.000 And then it shifted over and became like a Black Lives Matter page when that seemed like to be...
00:30:16.000 Oh yeah.
00:30:19.000 Yeah, we don't know.
00:30:20.000 Our government's so good, we're probably the ones that make it look like the Russians are doing it in the first place.
00:30:24.000 We're probably hiring Russians, and they don't even know they're working for us.
00:30:28.000 They think they're working for Russia.
00:30:30.000 Like, why does Russia care about Black Lives Matter?
00:30:33.000 They do.
00:30:33.000 They care.
00:30:34.000 Sorry.
00:30:35.000 Who pays the internet research agency?
00:30:38.000 Exactly.
00:30:39.000 It's Trump all along.
00:30:41.000 It's like a Scooby-Doo episode.
00:30:42.000 He pulls the mask.
00:30:43.000 It was you!
00:30:44.000 Oh!
00:30:44.000 Ha ha ha!
00:30:45.000 I would've got away with it too.
00:30:47.000 Was it for you meddling kids?
00:30:51.000 How fucking stupid was that show?
00:30:53.000 You could have, like, a little tiny girl, like an eight-year-old girl, you pull her mask off and she's an old man.
00:30:59.000 Like, hey!
00:31:00.000 What the fuck?
00:31:01.000 I saw someone break down that it was really done that Shaggy and Scooby ran at the same speeds because there's a dog and a human being.
00:31:08.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:09.000 And Shaggy was a stoner.
00:31:10.000 He's not in shape.
00:31:12.000 But someone broke it down, which is also stoner-ish and ridiculous.
00:31:15.000 That's true, though.
00:31:16.000 But they're on to something.
00:31:17.000 I mean, imagine being high and watching.
00:31:19.000 Hey, man.
00:31:20.000 How the fuck is that dude running as fast as that dog?
00:31:24.000 Yeah, man!
00:31:26.000 What the fuck?
00:31:27.000 What the?
00:31:28.000 They just stand up in the middle of the living room.
00:31:29.000 What the fuck?
00:31:30.000 How is that dude?
00:31:31.000 This is bullshit.
00:31:33.000 I think about that stuff a lot.
00:31:34.000 The one that gets me is the Wizard of Oz in Dark Side of the Moon.
00:31:37.000 I cannot imagine what that first person.
00:31:40.000 It had to be a regular human.
00:31:42.000 They had to have just smoked pot.
00:31:44.000 There's no way you didn't just smoke pot.
00:31:47.000 It had to be Acid.
00:31:48.000 It had to last a little longer than a pot.
00:31:50.000 Wizard of Oz seems like that'd be fun.
00:31:52.000 Put that in the VCR. It had to be a VCR, because it was way back then.
00:31:56.000 It had to be a record player.
00:31:58.000 Because you had to flip it, right?
00:31:59.000 Oh my god, that's right.
00:32:00.000 How would you get past that?
00:32:01.000 Because you couldn't play a CD and go the whole way through.
00:32:03.000 That's right.
00:32:04.000 You would have to flip it.
00:32:05.000 They did two sides on an album.
00:32:07.000 How did they know how to do it right?
00:32:09.000 And does it perfectly sync?
00:32:11.000 The first time I saw it was the first time I ever did Mushrooms, and it was fucking crazy.
00:32:15.000 So there are a lot of sync moments.
00:32:17.000 It's so insane if you're sober.
00:32:20.000 And now they have it.
00:32:21.000 What's crazy is that it's such cheap mode, but now you can do it.
00:32:24.000 And I remember doing it in high school with my buddies.
00:32:27.000 We smoked pot and matched it up, and you had to start the CD on the second MGM Lion Roar.
00:32:33.000 And now all you have to do is type, you know, Wizard of Oz Dark Side, and the whole thing's matched up on YouTube.
00:32:37.000 You could be watching it on the toilet in 20 seconds.
00:32:40.000 Is there a moment in it where it doesn't match up?
00:32:43.000 I mean, there's, of course, obviously, because there's so much stuff going on.
00:32:48.000 It's the establishing beginning and, you know, start of the middle of Wizard of Oz.
00:32:54.000 But, I mean, there's just so much that sort of tonally, beat-wise, lyric-wise, there's a part where, like, you know, an us and them are like, and which one's which?
00:33:07.000 And at that point, right then, for the first time, the good witch and the bad witch.
00:33:13.000 So many things going on.
00:33:14.000 When she first cracks the door after the tornado...
00:33:18.000 You know the great gig in the sky, the one where the lady's singing like crazy, like, whoa!
00:33:23.000 That's during the tornado and the house is spinning and then the house lands and that song trickles out and when she cracks the door and you see color for the first time, the second that door cracks, and this was back then, we're stoned in 14 listening to a CD player watching a VHS and as soon as that door cracks and you see that yellow of the brick road and the color,
00:33:42.000 you hear the ka-ching!
00:33:45.000 Oh, no!
00:33:46.000 And the coins drop, and it's money.
00:33:47.000 Oh, my God.
00:33:48.000 And the little munchkins are all jumping.
00:33:51.000 I gotta see that.
00:33:55.000 It's insane.
00:33:56.000 Cue up that scene.
00:33:57.000 See if you can find it.
00:33:58.000 We definitely cannot play that on the podcast.
00:34:00.000 We can't play it, but we could listen to it, right?
00:34:02.000 And comment over it?
00:34:03.000 Or no?
00:34:04.000 It won't work that way?
00:34:05.000 All right, we'll wait.
00:34:06.000 We'll wait an hour or so.
00:34:07.000 We'll do it in a little bit.
00:34:08.000 I looked up recently that some people thought they definitely tried to do this because it seems so purposeful but I read an interview with one of the guys in the band that at the time they recorded the album VHS didn't exist so they would have had to have had reels in the studio and a projection and like The amount of work to do that would have been...
00:34:26.000 When did they record the album?
00:34:28.000 74, 75?
00:34:29.000 And to also, even if they did do that, why would they do that?
00:34:34.000 It doesn't make any sense.
00:34:35.000 They made what is one of the biggest selling albums of all time.
00:34:40.000 Dark Side of the Moon.
00:34:42.000 It's just a perfect album.
00:34:44.000 And why would they...
00:34:46.000 Oh, we have to match it up to Wizard of Oz.
00:34:48.000 It doesn't make any sense at all.
00:34:50.000 So if they did that, that would be psychotic.
00:34:52.000 It's just a crazy, crazy coincidence.
00:34:54.000 I think it's the ultimate coincidence.
00:34:56.000 It's just so many crazy things that these two epic productions would match up at all.
00:35:02.000 Yeah, it's very weird.
00:35:04.000 Do you know how long that album lasted on the Billboard charts for?
00:35:06.000 How long?
00:35:08.000 741 weeks.
00:35:10.000 Yeah, the longest ever, right?
00:35:11.000 Jesus Christ.
00:35:12.000 From 1973 when it came out until 1988. Jesus Christ.
00:35:17.000 They're just selling copies.
00:35:18.000 And still.
00:35:19.000 And still.
00:35:20.000 How many albums, how many copies has it sold?
00:35:23.000 I'll check and see.
00:35:24.000 Let's guess.
00:35:25.000 Let's guess before we look.
00:35:26.000 What do you think?
00:35:28.000 35 million?
00:35:30.000 That sounds good.
00:35:32.000 I'm going to go with that.
00:35:33.000 All time?
00:35:34.000 Including online?
00:35:36.000 Those numbers become different, but yeah, sure.
00:35:38.000 I don't know.
00:35:39.000 I'd say...
00:35:40.000 Online, you've got to jack it up further.
00:35:42.000 1,500 plays equals one buy now.
00:35:45.000 It's just tough.
00:35:46.000 I don't know.
00:35:47.000 I'm going to go high here.
00:35:48.000 I'm going to guess 400 million.
00:35:51.000 300 million.
00:35:52.000 Jesus.
00:35:54.000 Is that possible?
00:35:56.000 It's not that high.
00:35:57.000 What's the album that got sold the most?
00:36:01.000 The Eagles' Greatest Hits.
00:36:03.000 Thriller?
00:36:03.000 Better Thriller, I was to say.
00:36:05.000 So what do we got?
00:36:07.000 Certified 15x platinum in the U.S. Oh, that's 15 million.
00:36:10.000 But altogether, if I add these up, it gets close to about 22, 25. But that's in the U.S. Four and a half in the U.K., two million in France, two million in Canada, and then nothing else over 250. Australia got close to a million.
00:36:25.000 Close to a million.
00:36:25.000 Catch up, Australia.
00:36:27.000 Jesus Christ.
00:36:28.000 Those numbers sound wonky.
00:36:30.000 14 times platinum in Australia, and that's 980,000 sales.
00:36:34.000 And platinum here in America is a million.
00:36:36.000 There's no one there.
00:36:37.000 I know, but that's...
00:36:38.000 What's platinum then?
00:36:39.000 Like 100,000?
00:36:40.000 Yeah.
00:36:41.000 250,000?
00:36:42.000 If you hit 100,000 in Australia, you're doing great.
00:36:45.000 You're doing great, mate.
00:36:47.000 Weird exchange, right?
00:36:48.000 Congratulations.
00:36:51.000 Yeah, there's only 20 million people in the entire country of Australia.
00:36:56.000 And it's the size...
00:36:57.000 Eagle's greatest hits is number one.
00:36:58.000 What does that have?
00:36:59.000 Let's guess that.
00:37:01.000 I'm going to say 42. 42 million.
00:37:06.000 I mean, we're going U.S. album sales.
00:37:09.000 No, we'll go world.
00:37:11.000 We are?
00:37:11.000 Yeah.
00:37:12.000 Was that global, the number you said for Darkseid?
00:37:14.000 He added all the other stuff with UK. It was 15 American, right?
00:37:18.000 Is that what it was?
00:37:19.000 I'll go 52 on the Eagles greatest hits.
00:37:22.000 42 and 52. Let's see.
00:37:23.000 36 million certified.
00:37:24.000 Wow.
00:37:26.000 And that's worldwide?
00:37:27.000 It just says certified, so I guess.
00:37:29.000 That is so much.
00:37:31.000 So what is that money-wise?
00:37:33.000 How much do they cost each?
00:37:36.000 Ten bucks.
00:37:37.000 Average.
00:37:37.000 That's what back then?
00:37:39.000 Eh.
00:37:39.000 And kind of now, because digitally it's like a little more sometimes.
00:37:42.000 They were the first ones to sell a hundred dollar ticket too, I heard, recently.
00:37:45.000 Whoa.
00:37:46.000 To sell like 1977, 75, whatever, like the price to go to see them was a hundred dollars.
00:37:52.000 In 77?
00:37:53.000 Yeah.
00:37:53.000 What was a hundred dollars in 77?
00:37:54.000 It's at least like a week of work.
00:37:56.000 Let's guess that.
00:37:57.000 Let's guess that.
00:37:58.000 How much do you think?
00:37:59.000 $100 in 1977 in 2019 money.
00:38:03.000 $100 in 1977. I'm going to go $650.
00:38:07.000 I like that.
00:38:09.000 I'm going to go $500.
00:38:13.000 $77?
00:38:14.000 I'm trying to find out when they did it first so I get that accurate thing.
00:38:16.000 It's around $79.
00:38:17.000 They were the first billion dollar.
00:38:20.000 Let's just try $77 because we're trying to figure it out.
00:38:23.000 How much?
00:38:26.000 What would you say?
00:38:29.000 The exchange rate?
00:38:30.000 It's not an exchange rate.
00:38:30.000 It's not another country.
00:38:31.000 Currency rate.
00:38:32.000 What's the inflation?
00:38:35.000 Inflation makes it about, according to 2016, inflation would have been about $300.
00:38:40.000 $296.05.
00:38:41.000 That's it?
00:38:43.000 That's a lot.
00:38:44.000 $396.05?
00:38:45.000 $300.
00:38:46.000 Is it $296.05?
00:38:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:48.000 Yeah, but in comparison to 1977, I would have thought it would have been a lot more.
00:38:53.000 Yeah.
00:38:54.000 Yeah.
00:38:55.000 But that's still a lot.
00:38:56.000 They're charging 300 bucks for a ticket.
00:38:58.000 Yikes!
00:38:59.000 The Eagles are ballers, man.
00:39:00.000 I can't remember where I learned that they were the first band to...
00:39:05.000 They had a deal where they would...
00:39:07.000 Not only would they get the tickets and a lot of other things, but they sold...
00:39:11.000 They got part of the parking spots.
00:39:13.000 Is that with you where we found that out?
00:39:15.000 I can't remember where I was.
00:39:16.000 And somebody's like, they were like, no, we want all the parking comes to us too.
00:39:22.000 So it's basically like selling a whole other $40 ticket for each person.
00:39:28.000 And then if the place or whatever, if the arena was like, no, you can't do that.
00:39:33.000 They're like, okay, well, we're going to go to the baseball stadium then.
00:39:35.000 They're like, Uh, okay.
00:39:37.000 Like, we'll go to the football stadium.
00:39:39.000 Or we'll go to the city next to you, and everybody from your city is gonna go to that city, and you won't have, you know, a booming economy for the night.
00:39:46.000 For that night.
00:39:47.000 Or we could just do it in your arena, like we're asking.
00:39:49.000 They would just play super hardball.
00:39:51.000 And since they had all the leverage, they would just fill stadiums.
00:39:55.000 The people would be like, okay, we'll give you what you want.
00:40:00.000 The touring business is weird.
00:40:02.000 The ticket prices that get jacked.
00:40:06.000 Andrew Schultz was talking about this.
00:40:08.000 About the fee.
00:40:10.000 Say if you buy a ticket, there's a fee.
00:40:13.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
00:40:14.000 Who gets that?
00:40:14.000 What is that?
00:40:15.000 What's that fee for?
00:40:16.000 Are you lifting weights?
00:40:17.000 You carrying something?
00:40:18.000 If you're going to take my ticket, if it's a physical ticket, and you have to fly it in a fucking airplane across the country, it costs 35 cents.
00:40:32.000 I mean, think about how crazy that is.
00:40:35.000 It costs 35 cents.
00:40:37.000 Is that what it is for a stamp today?
00:40:39.000 I have no idea.
00:40:41.000 Let's go crazy and say it's 50 cents.
00:40:43.000 For 50 cents, someone will take a fucking letter and bring it to Alaska for you.
00:40:48.000 They'll bring it across the country.
00:40:51.000 They'll put it in Hawaii.
00:40:52.000 They'll bring your fucking letter to Hawaii for 50 cents.
00:40:55.000 I don't know if that's true.
00:40:57.000 Is it different when you send something to Hawaii?
00:40:59.000 First class U.S. mail?
00:41:00.000 Nah.
00:41:01.000 It's probably not, right?
00:41:03.000 They think they just fly it.
00:41:04.000 They fly everything, right?
00:41:05.000 Meanwhile, if you want to buy a ticket, they want 18%.
00:41:07.000 It's a convenience fee, too.
00:41:09.000 Convenience fee, they call it.
00:41:10.000 Oh, it's convenient.
00:41:11.000 So convenient, you just take my money.
00:41:13.000 Someone's just getting money for nothing.
00:41:15.000 Well, then there's the other thing, man, that's equally weird, is that people are allowed to buy tickets and then sell them at exorbitant rates.
00:41:23.000 Yeah.
00:41:25.000 What they do is they'll buy tickets, like you say if Kanye West is performing and the ticket says $200 on the ticket.
00:41:35.000 They buy a giant chunk of these $200 tickets and they sell them for $2,000 each.
00:41:41.000 And you can do that.
00:41:43.000 And even though he wants his tickets to be $200, now they're $2,000.
00:41:47.000 And then someone makes a shitload of money...
00:41:51.000 There's supposed to be laws about that, but like...
00:41:53.000 Well, it's weird.
00:41:54.000 It's weird.
00:41:54.000 It's supposed to be called scalping, right?
00:41:56.000 It used to be illegal.
00:41:57.000 They used to look for people scalping when you would go to a concert.
00:42:01.000 Hey, you need tickets?
00:42:02.000 Who knows you got tickets?
00:42:03.000 And the cops would grab them, pull them over and fucking cuff them.
00:42:05.000 Like, they used to get you.
00:42:06.000 They used to get you.
00:42:08.000 Now they do it just everywhere.
00:42:09.000 It's all around it.
00:42:10.000 But now you can do it, I think, legally.
00:42:13.000 I think it's legal, and I think that these companies have found a way to do it where it's totally legal.
00:42:19.000 They just buy the tickets and then offer them for sale at a higher price.
00:42:24.000 But a lot of these guys like Live Nation, a lot of those other companies, they're trying really hard to figure out a way to stop it.
00:42:30.000 But I don't know what you can do.
00:42:32.000 Louis C.K. used to have a funny thing that he would do.
00:42:34.000 He'd make everyone pay for cash.
00:42:36.000 If you want to buy tickets to see him, at the store.
00:42:39.000 He would charge cash, and you had to buy them a couple hours before the show.
00:42:44.000 So a couple hours before the show, people would be waiting in line on Sunset to go see Louis.
00:42:49.000 Yeah, and he would limit them, right?
00:42:51.000 Yeah, and that would be his spending money.
00:42:52.000 And so he'd get a giant fucking, like a shopping bag filled with cash.
00:42:58.000 Like one of those paper bags you get at the grocery store.
00:43:01.000 He'd fill that bitch up with cash.
00:43:03.000 I don't know what he put it in.
00:43:04.000 But it's like a lot of money.
00:43:06.000 You know, he's just doing all cash.
00:43:08.000 He had a $5 billion business in the United States.
00:43:11.000 They call it reselling now and scalping.
00:43:14.000 So they've changed some laws.
00:43:15.000 There's loopholes.
00:43:16.000 Oh, loopholes.
00:43:19.000 Wonder whose campaign got that kickback, huh?
00:43:23.000 Probably Tipper Gore or something.
00:43:25.000 Do you remember when Al Gore's wife was trying to stop rap?
00:43:30.000 Remember that?
00:43:31.000 Parental advisory?
00:43:32.000 Yeah.
00:43:33.000 She was the one.
00:43:34.000 That was her?
00:43:35.000 Mm-hmm.
00:43:36.000 Tipper Gore.
00:43:36.000 Wow.
00:43:37.000 Tipper Gore sounds like she'd be a great rapper.
00:43:39.000 She's got a good rap name.
00:43:40.000 Tipper Gore.
00:43:40.000 Sounds like an old, white politician.
00:43:43.000 Yeah.
00:43:44.000 Tipper.
00:43:44.000 You know?
00:43:45.000 From Boston.
00:43:48.000 Golfer.
00:43:48.000 What?
00:43:49.000 Massachusetts recognizes the great Senator Tipper Gore.
00:43:52.000 Thank you.
00:43:53.000 He's fat and corrupt.
00:43:55.000 He gets up there.
00:43:56.000 Big fucking gin blossoms on his face.
00:44:00.000 Hammered the night before talking shit.
00:44:02.000 That's like an Ed Kennedy or Ted Kennedy looking guy.
00:44:05.000 Yeah.
00:44:05.000 Like Tipper Gore.
00:44:06.000 Doesn't sound like a lady who's trying to stop rap music.
00:44:09.000 I can picture that.
00:44:10.000 That was like a big part of her thing as the vice president's wife.
00:44:14.000 She was trying to stop and put lyrics on parental advisories on rap music.
00:44:19.000 That was back when two live crew were getting arrested.
00:44:22.000 We forget about that.
00:44:24.000 What'd they get arrested for?
00:44:25.000 Bad lyrics!
00:44:27.000 Oh, no.
00:44:28.000 Bad language.
00:44:29.000 Profanity, right?
00:44:29.000 Profanity, yeah, yeah.
00:44:31.000 But meanwhile, Richard Pryor could get away with it, talking.
00:44:37.000 Well, it was different, and Richard Pryor got away with it because Lenny Bruce went to jail.
00:44:42.000 But no rappers had gone to jail.
00:44:43.000 The Two Live crew, in a lot of ways, were like the Lenny Bruce of rap.
00:44:47.000 They were the ones who got punished.
00:44:49.000 And they got busted in Broward County, Florida.
00:44:52.000 Broward is like, you know, if you're doing up to anything that might be a little slimy, and you get arrested, and they bring you to get charged in Broward County, Florida, ooh, you're fucked, kid.
00:45:06.000 I see them all the time on Life PD, Broward County.
00:45:09.000 When they go to Broward County, it's a great one.
00:45:11.000 You guys ever see that show?
00:45:12.000 No.
00:45:13.000 It's unbelievable.
00:45:13.000 You keep talking about it.
00:45:14.000 You love it.
00:45:15.000 Oh, it's so great.
00:45:16.000 It makes cops look like frickin' Mr. Rogers' neighborhood.
00:45:20.000 Like, it's just amped up and they just keep it moving.
00:45:23.000 It's beautiful.
00:45:24.000 We go now.
00:45:25.000 They make everything seem super live, even though sometimes I'll be watching a rerun, but I'll just pretend like it's live, you know?
00:45:30.000 That's funny.
00:45:30.000 What's gonna happen next?
00:45:32.000 It's weird how many cop shows there have been.
00:45:34.000 And how much we love watching, like, cops.
00:45:36.000 Like, those kind of shows?
00:45:37.000 Like, where someone's actually getting arrested?
00:45:39.000 Yeah.
00:45:40.000 Those shows are captivating for us.
00:45:41.000 Nowadays, they've gotten famous.
00:45:43.000 Like, you know, these counties that they do it in.
00:45:45.000 So sometimes someone will get pulled over or whatever, and, like, they'll be all fucked up.
00:45:49.000 Like, oh, shit, is this live PD? What's up?
00:45:51.000 And it's always the best.
00:45:53.000 That's funny.
00:45:54.000 Yeah.
00:45:55.000 One guy already saw, he's been on it twice.
00:45:56.000 He's like, I was on it last week!
00:45:58.000 LAUGHTER That is hilarious.
00:46:05.000 Oh my god, that's so stupid.
00:46:08.000 It could happen to us.
00:46:10.000 I mean, technically it could happen to anybody.
00:46:12.000 Next thing you know, you have a camera in your face.
00:46:14.000 I mean, what are you going to do?
00:46:15.000 Yeah, what are you going to do?
00:46:16.000 If you're in one of those areas?
00:46:19.000 Well, it's just the business of making, you know, air quote, reality TV so weird.
00:46:24.000 It's so weird.
00:46:25.000 That's the most reality reality TV because it's not planned.
00:46:28.000 Like, you know for sure they're not talking to the perps and saying beforehand, okay, this is what I want you to do.
00:46:34.000 I want you to pretend that you're taking off and then we follow you and then you hit the brakes and I'm like, I'm just playing.
00:46:39.000 Just say that.
00:46:41.000 You would never, you know, you'd never get a criminal to do that correctly, where it wouldn't look, you know, wouldn't look fake.
00:46:48.000 But these guys, when you know they're getting arrested, you see the glassy look in their eye, you see them confused and stupid, you see them say crazy shit, you see them get pushed against a car, you see them screaming at their old lady with their shirt off, you see them.
00:47:01.000 These are real people.
00:47:03.000 That's reality TV. It might be the only reality TV there really is.
00:47:06.000 Because everything else, everyone's painfully aware of the cameras there.
00:47:09.000 The only thing that sucks about it is the cops are bad actors.
00:47:12.000 Like, most of those cops on those shows are like, well, you know, we're just doing our best here to keep the community safe.
00:47:18.000 Like, relax, bro.
00:47:19.000 Yeah.
00:47:20.000 Stop with the...
00:47:20.000 Some of those guys are already getting famous.
00:47:23.000 Of course.
00:47:23.000 Off the last CD. Of course.
00:47:24.000 The main guy's dating Lana Del Rey, I think.
00:47:26.000 Sticks?
00:47:27.000 Yeah.
00:47:27.000 Sticks?
00:47:27.000 Hey!
00:47:28.000 Good job, Sticks!
00:47:29.000 Woo!
00:47:31.000 Good for him.
00:47:32.000 Lana Del Rey supporting our first responders.
00:47:34.000 I love it.
00:47:35.000 Go out there and get it done.
00:47:36.000 Yeah, he's going to become famous.
00:47:38.000 And then it's going to be corrupt.
00:47:39.000 Just like everything else.
00:47:40.000 It's going to fall apart.
00:47:41.000 And then they're going to fake arrests.
00:47:43.000 You know what?
00:47:44.000 We were talking about Les Stroud from Bigfoot.
00:47:46.000 He sent me an email.
00:47:47.000 He said he was working with a television channel not to be named.
00:47:53.000 And he had a problem again with them trying to fix shit and fake things.
00:47:56.000 A lot of these shows that you're watching, some producer has faked stuff.
00:48:00.000 It happened with me on a show that I was on.
00:48:02.000 I had to get furious at this production company that did this show because they faked something on a show that I was on.
00:48:08.000 I was so mad when I found out that Cheaters wasn't real.
00:48:12.000 That they set up Cheaters.
00:48:13.000 Remember Cheaters?
00:48:14.000 Joey Greco?
00:48:15.000 I do remember that.
00:48:16.000 But was it real when he got stabbed?
00:48:18.000 Because he got stabbed.
00:48:19.000 That's what ended that show.
00:48:22.000 I don't know if that was real or fake.
00:48:23.000 Maybe it was set up after he got stabbed so he didn't get fucked up anymore.
00:48:26.000 Find out if that was staged.
00:48:29.000 Because if it was all staged, it was all fake.
00:48:32.000 They busted someone and someone stabbed him.
00:48:36.000 I thought it was...
00:48:37.000 You think it's fake?
00:48:38.000 Fake stabbing?
00:48:38.000 It has been suggested that the stabbing incident was staged.
00:48:43.000 Staged or fake?
00:48:44.000 It says staged.
00:48:46.000 What does that mean?
00:48:47.000 Would you let someone stab you on television?
00:48:50.000 How much money would they have to pay That's dangerous!
00:48:54.000 You get stabbed, man.
00:48:55.000 You could die.
00:48:57.000 I don't think they stabbed him.
00:48:58.000 I think they had red ink or red paint or, you know, fake blood.
00:49:03.000 Had him really just clench up.
00:49:06.000 Inside Edition reported, according to a paid actor, That was a fake act.
00:49:11.000 He was paid $400 to act out funny scenarios on the show.
00:49:14.000 I don't know if that was that exact stabbing.
00:49:16.000 I thought that was going to say.
00:49:17.000 I had a friend of mine back in New York that used to do those shows, like Jenny Jones and shit like that.
00:49:25.000 You know those shows?
00:49:26.000 Like Phil Donahue, like any kind of show?
00:49:28.000 Yeah.
00:49:28.000 Like, hey, we're looking for a guy who's been secretly having an affair with his brother's wife for the last year.
00:49:38.000 You know anybody?
00:49:39.000 Like, what a coincidence.
00:49:40.000 I've been secretly having an affair with my brother's wife.
00:49:43.000 They're like, oh my god, are you free on Tuesday?
00:49:45.000 Yep.
00:49:45.000 And then they'd bring him in.
00:49:47.000 And they would go do that, and they would call him back.
00:49:48.000 Like, we're looking for a guy who pretended to be a police officer and would arrest people.
00:49:56.000 Do you know anybody like that?
00:49:58.000 What?
00:49:58.000 What a crazy world.
00:50:00.000 I used to be a cop.
00:50:01.000 So they would just run a scenario by him.
00:50:03.000 And everyone knew what was going on.
00:50:06.000 And so they were all covered.
00:50:08.000 He lied to them.
00:50:09.000 They didn't know.
00:50:10.000 And so he would show up and do this goofy fucking show.
00:50:13.000 And he would just act it out.
00:50:14.000 I saw him on a couple different ones.
00:50:16.000 Yeah, Springer...
00:50:18.000 Everyone thought Springer was real, too, until it got just obnoxious.
00:50:23.000 They kept running out of crazy things to do.
00:50:25.000 Springer's not real?
00:50:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:27.000 No.
00:50:27.000 No?
00:50:28.000 No.
00:50:29.000 Are you kidding?
00:50:30.000 I can't tell whether you're being serious or not.
00:50:31.000 I didn't know if it was real.
00:50:34.000 Sometimes things are real.
00:50:36.000 I don't know about that on Springer.
00:50:39.000 I'm not sure, though.
00:50:41.000 I mean, some were so obnoxiously fake.
00:50:43.000 Like, these people break.
00:50:44.000 By the end, they had such bad actors.
00:50:47.000 People were laughing at themselves and stuff.
00:50:49.000 Dude, some of those shows were great, though.
00:50:51.000 Yeah.
00:50:51.000 Some of those...
00:50:52.000 There's moments on those shows...
00:50:55.000 It's hilarious that the security guard from Jerry Springer ended up with his own TV show because he got so famous for running up on stage, stopping all the fights.
00:51:02.000 Steve Wilkos.
00:51:03.000 That's hilarious.
00:51:05.000 His show.
00:51:06.000 I love flipping those on sometimes if I'm at a hotel or something random, you know what I mean?
00:51:10.000 Just seeing what people are really watching.
00:51:15.000 The daytime insanity.
00:51:16.000 Every now and then you catch a gem.
00:51:18.000 You catch a gem of an episode.
00:51:20.000 One of those Maury Povich's, you are not the father!
00:51:23.000 And the guy's dancing and going crazy.
00:51:25.000 The best.
00:51:26.000 One of my favorite ones, I don't remember which show it was, but I was watching it with Candy Alexander.
00:51:31.000 We were in my dressing room when we were doing news radio.
00:51:33.000 We were just bored in between scenes.
00:51:35.000 We were watching TV. Because sometimes if they're setting up a scene, maybe if they're special effects or something, you might be there for fucking two hours, right?
00:51:42.000 So we're watching.
00:51:43.000 It might have even been rehearsal, I don't remember, because it was during the day.
00:51:46.000 But we're watching the show and this girl has this real slutty outfit on.
00:51:50.000 And she's got all this attitude.
00:51:53.000 And she's telling everybody she's the shit.
00:51:55.000 And y'all are just jealous.
00:51:57.000 And this one dude gets up.
00:52:00.000 And it was like one of the most calm dismantlings of a person I ever saw a guy do.
00:52:06.000 The guy got up.
00:52:08.000 And again, I don't think he's an actor.
00:52:11.000 I don't think he planned this.
00:52:13.000 He goes...
00:52:14.000 See, you could pull that off, but it's all about your attitude.
00:52:19.000 He goes, if you had some pizzazz, you could pull that off.
00:52:23.000 But your attitude stank, and that make you look nasty.
00:52:28.000 The whole place is just...
00:52:33.000 It was the timing, but your attitude stank.
00:52:36.000 And that made you look nasty.
00:52:38.000 I fucked it up.
00:52:40.000 Dude, it was one of those moments where she has this look on her face like she just got hit with a fucking Mike Tyson right hand.
00:52:48.000 Like Deontay Wilder just bombed on her.
00:52:51.000 Like, what?
00:52:52.000 Those moments.
00:52:53.000 You get those moments every now and then.
00:52:55.000 If you watch a religious show, you'll get one of those moments sometimes.
00:52:59.000 Every now and then they'll just say something so ridiculous, you're like, what the fuck did you say?
00:53:04.000 Yeah, they ended up, you know, it ends up being too rhythmic sometimes at the end.
00:53:08.000 Like everybody that would walk off would always walk off on Maury to like that green room in the back right down the hallway.
00:53:14.000 There's clearly, you know, the cameras set up for access for there and everything.
00:53:18.000 It would have been more random if they stormed off another direction sometimes.
00:53:22.000 Something more believable.
00:53:23.000 Well, how about Dr. Phil, right?
00:53:25.000 Now, here's what's weird about humans and culture.
00:53:28.000 Dr. Phil has been on forever, right?
00:53:34.000 Mm-hmm.
00:53:34.000 Here's a million guests.
00:53:36.000 One girl comes on.
00:53:38.000 She's like, catch me outside.
00:53:39.000 And she becomes a multi-millionaire.
00:53:41.000 She's huge.
00:53:42.000 She's famous.
00:53:43.000 She sells makeup.
00:53:44.000 She's got a fucking giant billboard on Sunset.
00:53:47.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
00:53:48.000 I listened to her rap album and it is good.
00:53:52.000 There you go.
00:53:53.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:53:53.000 She's hypnotizing Tony.
00:53:55.000 Remember South Park made fun of her with Cartman doing that?
00:53:58.000 And that was like 15 years?
00:54:00.000 How long ago was that?
00:54:01.000 Feels like it.
00:54:01.000 Where he was like the little girl on South Park talking shit.
00:54:04.000 He's like, fuck, I'll do what I want.
00:54:05.000 That's my hot body.
00:54:07.000 That was a long time ago.
00:54:08.000 Not that long ago.
00:54:10.000 I think she's only like 17 or something now.
00:54:12.000 I don't think we were in this studio when that was happening.
00:54:16.000 Catch me outside?
00:54:17.000 I don't think.
00:54:18.000 Yeah, no, but I mean the South Park thing predated her by a couple of years it had to.
00:54:22.000 Oh, okay.
00:54:23.000 So was the South Park thing based on anyone in particular?
00:54:27.000 I think that he just had a lot of grit.
00:54:29.000 Like that was a typical show and she just sort of stood out in the middle of Twitter world and caught fire.
00:54:36.000 Isn't that weird though when something just takes off like that?
00:54:39.000 It's weird how memes take off.
00:54:42.000 And things like that.
00:54:44.000 What things really grab people?
00:54:47.000 Catch me outside.
00:54:47.000 Everybody's like, that's it!
00:54:50.000 You're gonna be huge!
00:54:52.000 She's huge.
00:54:56.000 I do what I want.
00:54:58.000 Oh my god.
00:54:59.000 I slaughtered five baby seals with my bare hands.
00:55:02.000 Legend.
00:55:03.000 Oh, legend show.
00:55:04.000 Legend show.
00:55:05.000 That show.
00:55:07.000 One of the greatest...
00:55:09.000 Like entertainment franchises, whether it's sports, music, films, greatest franchises ever at South Park.
00:55:19.000 No doubt about it.
00:55:20.000 They get away with so much because it's all cartoon.
00:55:22.000 So they can have people get their head chopped off.
00:55:25.000 They can get beat to death, lose arms, squirt right out of their armpits because it's so not real looking.
00:55:31.000 Like Canadians, their heads aren't even attached.
00:55:34.000 Right.
00:55:36.000 Their mouths and the top of your head.
00:55:38.000 The top of your head just floats in the air.
00:55:40.000 It's so crazy that they have that for Canadians.
00:55:45.000 It's so funny, but it's not even that mean.
00:55:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:55:50.000 But it's so ridiculous that they differentiate.
00:55:52.000 Like, they're not even human.
00:55:53.000 They're just a different thing.
00:55:55.000 Their fucking heads aren't connected.
00:55:58.000 That show's so crazy.
00:55:59.000 It's insane.
00:55:59.000 It's the best show ever.
00:56:00.000 And look at that.
00:56:03.000 Oh my god.
00:56:04.000 South Park continues to mock China.
00:56:08.000 You ever seen it yet?
00:56:09.000 You know, they removed South Park from China.
00:56:12.000 But see, you can't trick them the way they tricked the NBA. Those guys have plenty of money.
00:56:19.000 They don't need your money.
00:56:20.000 They're there to make this wild ass show.
00:56:22.000 And so if you give them a reason, like, oh, you're going to take away the China money.
00:56:26.000 Okay.
00:56:28.000 It's so much money!
00:56:30.000 You're not going to stop those guys by cutting off some of the money?
00:56:34.000 And they have almost everything.
00:56:35.000 They almost have an EGOT. They're one away from literally accomplishing, you know.
00:56:41.000 Yeah, they've done everything.
00:56:42.000 They've been around forever.
00:56:43.000 They've put together a play that's a musical.
00:56:46.000 They put together films.
00:56:48.000 I mean, Team America World Police is still to this day one of my all-time favorite comedies.
00:56:54.000 And then before that, the South Park movie.
00:56:56.000 Remember when the South Park movie, when the devil was gay for Saddam Hussein?
00:57:00.000 And you see big fake...
00:57:02.000 It was dicks.
00:57:03.000 You could see his dick.
00:57:05.000 Remember?
00:57:05.000 But because it was a cartoon, you're allowed to see a dick.
00:57:08.000 You're like, this is crazy.
00:57:09.000 Have you ever seen Lemmy Winks?
00:57:11.000 The episode Lemmy Winks?
00:57:12.000 Which one's that?
00:57:13.000 Favorite of all time.
00:57:14.000 It's one where Mr. Garrison wants to get fired from his jobs that I think they were just paying people or something like that.
00:57:21.000 So he's trying to get fired.
00:57:22.000 So he hired Mr. Slave to come in and try to get him fired.
00:57:28.000 I think?
00:57:50.000 For the most part.
00:57:51.000 It comes back and forth.
00:57:52.000 But it becomes an adventure of Lemmy Winks.
00:57:54.000 He has to make it out of the gay man.
00:57:59.000 But he can't go out of...
00:58:01.000 The gates have closed off for the sphincter.
00:58:04.000 And there's all these things that happen throughout this show.
00:58:06.000 It becomes an adventure piece of him.
00:58:09.000 For the gerbil trying to escape?
00:58:11.000 Yeah, because he has to go all the way up to get out.
00:58:13.000 Look, he has a little candle on his head.
00:58:16.000 Oh my god!
00:58:17.000 He's got a headlamp!
00:58:19.000 Yeah!
00:58:19.000 What is he standing into?
00:58:22.000 Look what's in the rectum.
00:58:23.000 It's this green fluid with bubbles and chunks floating.
00:58:26.000 And that's another thing.
00:58:28.000 He's going by corpses of other gerbils on his way out.
00:58:33.000 There are those things in there.
00:58:35.000 Dude, the shit they've had Mr. Garrison do is a perfect example of how you could never do anything remotely like this on a regular show.
00:58:42.000 How about when he had a slot off with Britney Spears and he stuffed her up his ass?
00:58:46.000 Oh, my God.
00:58:47.000 To win the slut off, he stuffs Britney Spears up his ass.
00:58:51.000 He climbs on her head and shoves down until she disappears in his ass.
00:58:56.000 It's unbelievable.
00:58:58.000 And what they make these people look like, too.
00:59:01.000 Oh, my God.
00:59:03.000 Oh, my God.
00:59:04.000 Can you just pull up the scene just so Tony and I can watch it of the slut off?
00:59:09.000 It was Paris Hilton.
00:59:10.000 Oh, it was Paris Hilton.
00:59:11.000 My name is Britney Spears.
00:59:12.000 At the same time.
00:59:14.000 They've done Britney Spears.
00:59:15.000 With Britney Spears, they did the whole...
00:59:17.000 What was it?
00:59:19.000 That they kept trying to make her be better or something?
00:59:24.000 They want her to keep making albums even though they're driving her crazy.
00:59:28.000 And then by the end she shoots herself in the head or something like that.
00:59:31.000 But then they have her in the studio and she can't even make noises with her mouth because she blew her head off basically.
00:59:38.000 Oh, I didn't skip to it.
00:59:39.000 I thought this was only a small clip.
00:59:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:59:41.000 The whore challenge.
00:59:45.000 It was a whore off.
00:59:47.000 This was season 8. That was 15 years ago.
00:59:50.000 Wow.
00:59:51.000 It's just so important for comedy to have a show like that out there that just has no boundaries.
00:59:58.000 And Comedy Central just is smart enough.
01:00:01.000 With all the silliness that they've been accused of, they're smart enough to leave those guys the fuck alone.
01:00:08.000 Just let them keep doing it.
01:00:11.000 You've seen Six Days to Air.
01:00:13.000 Yes, it's great.
01:00:14.000 Do you remember when they had Muhammad...
01:00:19.000 Inside a bear costume, inside a van, with the van door closed, and people are still mad.
01:00:31.000 Do you remember that?
01:00:32.000 No, not exactly.
01:00:34.000 Is that actually Muhammad?
01:00:36.000 They went full.
01:00:38.000 Oh, no.
01:00:39.000 Was this recently?
01:00:40.000 No.
01:00:41.000 Muhammad getting knocked down by Lincoln?
01:00:43.000 No.
01:00:45.000 No one takes it further than the Muslims, though.
01:00:47.000 Like, if you even draw our guy, death.
01:00:52.000 That's right, he was in a bear costume, too.
01:00:56.000 If you even draw our guy, death.
01:01:00.000 I don't even know where to begin with that.
01:01:03.000 Well, how about, you know who Salman Rushdie is, right?
01:01:06.000 Now, remind me.
01:01:07.000 Salman Rushdie was an author who wrote a book that wasn't even specifically about Islam.
01:01:15.000 What was it called again?
01:01:17.000 I only remember from that Seinfeld episode where George met him.
01:01:19.000 And he's like, that's Salman Rushdie!
01:01:20.000 And they're like, or Kramer did or something.
01:01:23.000 So I don't know his name either.
01:01:24.000 I don't remember the book.
01:01:25.000 No, I remember him.
01:01:26.000 I don't remember the book.
01:01:30.000 Whatever the book was, there was a fatwa put out on him.
01:01:34.000 You know, an attack on his life.
01:01:36.000 So he had to go into hiding.
01:01:38.000 And he was in hiding, like, forever.
01:01:41.000 People were mad at him for years and years and years.
01:01:44.000 Satanic Verses?
01:01:45.000 That's it.
01:01:46.000 Satanic Verses.
01:01:48.000 And people were furious.
01:01:50.000 But I don't even think it mentions Muhammad in the book.
01:01:54.000 Hey, I don't get that.
01:01:56.000 Touchy.
01:01:56.000 I don't get that.
01:01:58.000 That's some weird...
01:01:59.000 That's other side of the world stuff.
01:02:01.000 Well, this is a beautiful...
01:02:02.000 It's like a bit that I used to have about Catholics.
01:02:05.000 Like, you'll never see a Catholic suicide bomber.
01:02:07.000 Because none of us believe in it that much.
01:02:11.000 Well, the Catholic suicide bomber would just go, you go first.
01:02:14.000 How the fuck do I know that you're gonna go?
01:02:17.000 We know there's just so much nonsense.
01:02:20.000 There's so much nonsense in Catholicism.
01:02:22.000 It doesn't have people that well.
01:02:24.000 No one's gonna kill somebody for Catholicism.
01:02:26.000 Yeah.
01:02:27.000 And we all know.
01:02:29.000 It's so obvious.
01:02:32.000 You go to the Vatican, you're like, oh, this is where you guys have been putting all your shit that you took from everybody.
01:02:37.000 Right.
01:02:37.000 There's billions of dollars of artwork in the Vatican.
01:02:41.000 Billions.
01:02:42.000 Have you been?
01:02:43.000 No.
01:02:43.000 You should go.
01:02:44.000 It's one of those places that I tell people, it's worth it.
01:02:46.000 Food there is amazing.
01:02:48.000 What do you mean, Italian food?
01:02:50.000 No, Chinese.
01:02:51.000 Don't fuck with the locals.
01:02:56.000 Everybody's leisurely.
01:02:58.000 There's something nice about that.
01:02:59.000 There's something nice about that.
01:03:01.000 But it's super interesting to see all the artwork they had.
01:03:05.000 Rome is interesting in general.
01:03:06.000 In the middle of this area where the Vatican is, there's this courtyard.
01:03:15.000 They have an Egyptian obelisk.
01:03:18.000 That somehow or another they moved from Egypt.
01:03:21.000 I mean, this thing is huge.
01:03:23.000 This huge stone obelisk that's carved and somehow or another they got it and had it stand up.
01:03:32.000 It's planted in the middle of this little...
01:03:34.000 Have you seen the one in Central Park?
01:03:36.000 Is there an Egyptian one from Egypt?
01:03:38.000 It's huge.
01:03:39.000 From Egypt?
01:03:39.000 Yeah.
01:03:40.000 Whoa.
01:03:41.000 No shit.
01:03:41.000 Yeah.
01:03:42.000 When was that one put in?
01:03:46.000 1881. Dude, Central Park is pretty fucking amazing.
01:03:49.000 If you're so lucky you can get an apartment that overlooks Central Park, that makes New York a totally different place.
01:03:55.000 Wow, look at that, man.
01:03:57.000 That's nuts.
01:03:59.000 An Egyptian obelisk put in New York in 1881. What?
01:04:04.000 Yeah.
01:04:05.000 That's nuts.
01:04:06.000 There's all sorts of hieroglyphs all over it.
01:04:08.000 Wow.
01:04:09.000 Nobody tagged it?
01:04:13.000 No.
01:04:14.000 I've only seen it once.
01:04:15.000 Do you think they have 24-hour guards around that thing?
01:04:17.000 I don't think so.
01:04:18.000 But they have guards all over New York, so someone might find it quickly.
01:04:21.000 Those cameras and stuff.
01:04:23.000 I'm amazed that no one did anything to fuck with that.
01:04:25.000 That seems like a little too precious to be just out in the rain and snow.
01:04:31.000 I mean, when was that constructed?
01:04:33.000 Is that like an artifact?
01:04:37.000 I don't remember.
01:04:38.000 I've looked it up before.
01:04:39.000 It was transported there for a very particular reason, but there's these little crab claws at the very bottom of it, which are interesting.
01:04:46.000 Well, the whole thing's interesting.
01:04:48.000 The whole thing's cool, yeah.
01:04:49.000 Yeah, I mean, all of the hieroglyphs on it, too.
01:04:53.000 That might be one of those things where you could never put that there today.
01:04:57.000 If you said, hey, there's this place in Egypt.
01:04:59.000 I know we can get an obelisk.
01:05:00.000 Let's just put it in the middle of Central Park.
01:05:02.000 They'd be like, get the fuck out of here.
01:05:04.000 Cleopatra's Needle.
01:05:04.000 Yeah.
01:05:06.000 It's unbelievable.
01:05:07.000 Yeah, people would be like, what?
01:05:08.000 What the fuck are you talking about, man?
01:05:12.000 No, you can't take an Egyptian artifact and just leave it in a park.
01:05:17.000 How do you take a 200-ton thing like that on a boat?
01:05:22.000 Strap it to your dick.
01:05:24.000 200-ton granite obelisk, first shifted from vertical to horizontal, nearly crashing to the ground in the process.
01:05:32.000 Steamship.
01:05:33.000 Oh my god, they brought it on a ship.
01:05:37.000 200 tons and you're making the fucking ship.
01:05:40.000 Plus the 50-ton pedestal.
01:05:42.000 You'd be looking at everybody on that boat going, don't you eat too much, you fuck.
01:05:47.000 We're barely hanging in here.
01:05:49.000 Yeah.
01:05:50.000 32 horses brought it from the banks of the East River into Central Park.
01:05:53.000 32 horses?
01:05:55.000 With railroad ramps.
01:05:56.000 I can imagine that day.
01:05:58.000 God.
01:06:00.000 That's nuts.
01:06:01.000 Took 112 days to move the obelisk from a quarantine station to its resting place.
01:06:08.000 Wow.
01:06:09.000 There you go.
01:06:10.000 That's weird.
01:06:11.000 It's weird they would just keep it there.
01:06:12.000 Because again, like if you had an obelisk that you found, it was an ancient historical object, and you're like, let's just leave it in the park.
01:06:19.000 Put it in the middle of the park.
01:06:21.000 No, you can't do that, you asshole.
01:06:23.000 You have to put a fence around it.
01:06:24.000 You have to put it under glass.
01:06:26.000 This is art that was made thousands of years ago.
01:06:30.000 These people are dead.
01:06:31.000 We don't even know what they were doing.
01:06:34.000 It's just sitting there.
01:06:37.000 That is the place.
01:06:38.000 I think if I had the choice, if there was one place where I could go in a time machine and just peek for like an hour and just look around and then come back to present day, I think that would be the spot.
01:06:49.000 I'd want to see what Egypt was like when they were building the pyramids.
01:06:53.000 Like, in the middle of construction, when they're at their peak, when they're building the Great Pyramid of Giza, like, what was society like?
01:06:59.000 Like, what were the people like?
01:07:01.000 You could just be a fly on the wall, and no one knew you were there.
01:07:04.000 See, if they saw you, they'd be like, what are you doing?
01:07:07.000 What is this thing on your wrist?
01:07:08.000 Who are you?
01:07:10.000 Why do your teeth look so good?
01:07:11.000 How come you don't look deformed?
01:07:14.000 I'd be on the grassy knoll that day, JFK. Oh yeah, that's a good one too.
01:07:20.000 Would you be on the grassy knoll or would you be in the book depository?
01:07:24.000 See, if you're in the book depository, then you know that Lee Harvey Oswald isn't there.
01:07:28.000 I think he may have even been there.
01:07:30.000 I think he may have even been firing, but I don't believe that he was the only one.
01:07:35.000 I'm with you.
01:07:36.000 That's exactly what I think.
01:07:37.000 I think he could have been in on it, and maybe he didn't even fire it.
01:07:40.000 But when he said he was a patsy, The way he said it, when he got arrested and he said, I'm just a patsy, that's like a guy who knew he was going to get in trouble for something.
01:07:53.000 That's not like a regular guy.
01:07:54.000 He was not a regular guy.
01:07:57.000 They easily could have talked him into doing something fucked up and then they did something as well and blamed it all on him and they had him set up for it.
01:08:05.000 He seemed like a wacky dude.
01:08:07.000 Someone that did that and made that shot and really wanted him dead would own it.
01:08:11.000 Quite the opposite.
01:08:12.000 At that point you're not trying to not go to prison.
01:08:16.000 Well, maybe he is.
01:08:18.000 But it didn't seem like it.
01:08:20.000 He didn't seem like a guy who just shot someone.
01:08:22.000 He also didn't seem like a guy who was shocked that he was getting arrested for something.
01:08:28.000 But you could make someone a patsy back then.
01:08:30.000 That was real.
01:08:32.000 You could set someone up.
01:08:33.000 And then you hired Jack Ruby to just run up on the guy and shoot him.
01:08:36.000 And he just did it.
01:08:37.000 Now the guy's dead.
01:08:38.000 Jack Ruby drops the gun.
01:08:39.000 They put him in a nice jail cell.
01:08:42.000 I don't know if he was in a nice jail cell.
01:08:44.000 I have no idea.
01:08:45.000 And then what happened to Jack Ruby?
01:08:46.000 Something happened to him, right?
01:08:47.000 Guy in jail.
01:08:47.000 Got cancer.
01:08:48.000 How much do you know about those three guys that they thought might have been it?
01:08:51.000 I think.
01:08:51.000 Maybe that's John Goddard.
01:08:52.000 The three hobos or the three guys under the bridge?
01:08:54.000 Well, one of them was Woody Harrelson's dad.
01:08:56.000 Yeah, they were in the CIA, I read, or they thought they were, or who knows.
01:09:00.000 Look, Kennedy was not a popular guy by any stretch of the imagination with a giant chunk of the population.
01:09:05.000 Think about as many people hate Trump right now.
01:09:15.000 I don't know how many people hated Kennedy, but I know that the Bay of Pigs was a huge disaster.
01:09:20.000 A lot of military people hated him for that.
01:09:25.000 Supposedly he wanted to get rid of the NSA. Supposedly he wanted to do something about the Federal Reserve.
01:09:34.000 There was a lot of things that he wanted to do, apparently.
01:09:36.000 Maybe it was the CIA. I think it was the CIA. He was trying to disband one of those.
01:09:40.000 But he had a disdain for secrecy and secret societies.
01:09:46.000 There was a lot of these Skull and Bones type things that George W. Bush was in, or Herbert Walker Bush, rather, his dad.
01:09:52.000 Was G.W. in Skull and Bones, too?
01:09:55.000 They both were, yeah.
01:09:56.000 Yeah, I mean, all that wacky shit.
01:09:58.000 Like, what are you doing?
01:09:59.000 You fucking, you dressing up like a druid?
01:10:01.000 What are you doing?
01:10:02.000 Are you burning an effigy?
01:10:03.000 You know, a lot of people thought that was all fake until Alex Jones and John Ronson was with him, right?
01:10:12.000 At the...
01:10:13.000 Yes.
01:10:15.000 I don't know who was with him, actually.
01:10:16.000 Yes.
01:10:17.000 I'm pretty sure.
01:10:18.000 Google that.
01:10:18.000 Make sure I'm right.
01:10:20.000 I'm pretty sure it was Ronson.
01:10:21.000 I'm pretty sure Ronson was...
01:10:22.000 I know it was.
01:10:23.000 He was talking about it.
01:10:25.000 We were talking about it on the podcast.
01:10:27.000 About, you know, like, that they couldn't believe what they found.
01:10:29.000 So this is this place, Bohemian Grove.
01:10:32.000 And the idea was that all the elites would go there and they would engage in these occult rituals.
01:10:38.000 Is this in America?
01:10:38.000 Yeah.
01:10:39.000 Yeah, it's in California.
01:10:41.000 Oh.
01:10:41.000 It's like Northern California.
01:10:43.000 And so you hear about this and you're like, what?
01:10:45.000 Like, have you heard about that?
01:10:47.000 Like, hey, there's a place.
01:10:49.000 Former presidents go, top-ranking generals and heads of state and bankers and famous artists, they go to this place and they do occult rituals.
01:11:00.000 They perform occult rituals.
01:11:01.000 Episode, or part four of The Secret Rulers of the World, directed by John Ronson.
01:11:06.000 He travels with Alex Jones, too.
01:11:08.000 There you go.
01:11:09.000 What's that, Netflix?
01:11:10.000 I don't know where you can find it at the moment.
01:11:12.000 You can definitely see it on YouTube.
01:11:14.000 Right, right.
01:11:14.000 You can definitely see the interaction on YouTube.
01:11:15.000 So Alex films these people worshipping Molech the Owl God and doing this thing.
01:11:23.000 He completely sneaks in, just acts like he belongs there.
01:11:25.000 Just let him in.
01:11:27.000 They have a gate, a guarded gate.
01:11:29.000 Just fucking, hey, hey, how you doing?
01:11:30.000 He looks like a Republican.
01:11:32.000 They let him through.
01:11:33.000 He is there filming them.
01:11:36.000 They have an effigy, like a bunch of straw and shit that's supposed to represent a person that you're sacrificing to Molech the Owl God.
01:11:43.000 They're dressed in these crazy hoods.
01:11:44.000 They put the effigy down.
01:11:46.000 They have those loudspeakers.
01:11:47.000 They have this crazy speech they give.
01:11:49.000 It's so weird, but these are like legitimate, wealthy, famous people, politicians.
01:11:56.000 These people are like heads of banks and shit.
01:11:59.000 And they're going there, and they're dressing up.
01:12:02.000 This is real.
01:12:02.000 You hear things like that.
01:12:05.000 Well, that's nonsense, right?
01:12:06.000 That's nonsense.
01:12:07.000 That doesn't really happen.
01:12:08.000 There's not a real Bilderberg meeting.
01:12:10.000 They don't really get together and fucking pretend they're burning hookers.
01:12:14.000 They really do.
01:12:15.000 They really do.
01:12:16.000 Yeah.
01:12:16.000 And so he films this.
01:12:19.000 It's one of the first things that got me thinking about conspiracies.
01:12:23.000 As much as you can think that Alex is a wacky guy, he's certainly eccentric.
01:12:28.000 And he's not always right.
01:12:30.000 And that's part of the problem when you're being lied to left and right by so many different things.
01:12:34.000 You can get real off on things.
01:12:38.000 And he did.
01:12:42.000 It's been beaten into the ground.
01:12:44.000 But the fact is that there are a certain amount of these things out there like that.
01:12:51.000 And if it wasn't for Alex releasing that video, I think most people would think that's nonsense.
01:12:57.000 But when you see that video, you have to go, okay, what is this?
01:13:03.000 What is going on?
01:13:04.000 Are they really dressing up?
01:13:06.000 Is this really an occult ritual?
01:13:07.000 What is this?
01:13:08.000 Have you ever seen it?
01:13:10.000 No.
01:13:10.000 Show a video Bohemian Grove, just so we can watch the video.
01:13:14.000 I can show the pictures and stuff, because the video that he has is really blurry.
01:13:18.000 Yeah, yeah, but let's...
01:13:19.000 Well, you'd have to hear it, too, because there's a booming loudspeaker.
01:13:23.000 But see what you can see.
01:13:25.000 It's kind of blurry, but...
01:13:27.000 I mean, it's famous, this place.
01:13:30.000 So do you think these people all work with each other?
01:13:34.000 See, he's got this hidden camera footage of these people with torches dressed up like druids going over and they're carrying the effigy and then they're going to sacrifice it and light on fire.
01:13:45.000 Dude, this is like really rich, famous, powerful people are all...
01:13:52.000 Here watching this.
01:13:53.000 Look at that.
01:13:55.000 Back that up so we can read what it says.
01:14:00.000 Back it up a little bit.
01:14:05.000 Yeah, but I don't want to hear it, Jamie.
01:14:07.000 I just want to see the writing.
01:14:10.000 Yeah, but can't you...
01:14:11.000 No, what I'm saying is make it so I can't hear it.
01:14:19.000 And mass rends the stones of Babylon?
01:14:23.000 What do they even say?
01:14:25.000 Play it out a little bit?
01:14:29.000 Like, look at this.
01:14:31.000 For beauty is eternal.
01:14:32.000 So they have this, and we bow to beauty everlasting.
01:14:36.000 It's a very strange shit.
01:14:38.000 So they're yelling this out.
01:14:39.000 This guy's got this on a loudspeaker.
01:14:41.000 And they're engaging in this ritual.
01:14:44.000 And then they bring over this effigy and they light it on fire.
01:14:47.000 They have a boat in the water.
01:14:48.000 It's weird, dude.
01:14:50.000 Just imagine being a guy who's worth a billion dollars, and this is what you do for fun.
01:14:56.000 You're going to get together with Mike and Harry, who runs Microsoft, and you're all going to go and pretend you're burning something.
01:15:04.000 Look at this.
01:15:04.000 But did they become billionaires and then do this, or is it a chicken and the egg?
01:15:09.000 That's the question.
01:15:10.000 That's what people think about the elites.
01:15:13.000 And in some families, it is true.
01:15:17.000 I mean, if these people are all meeting up once a year to burn a stack of hay shaped like a lady, why wouldn't they invest in each other?
01:15:23.000 Of course.
01:15:25.000 They're all bankers and successful.
01:15:27.000 Yeah.
01:15:28.000 Well, that was the thing about Skull and Bones, is that they all had something on you.
01:15:33.000 Everyone knew something.
01:15:35.000 Because you all sucked everybody's dick and took Polaroids of it and dressed up like a munchkin.
01:15:41.000 I mean, that's what they all did.
01:15:42.000 They did some wacky shit.
01:15:44.000 They probably all got fucked.
01:15:45.000 It's hard to think what you could have had on somebody before porn search history.
01:15:49.000 They probably all fucked each other.
01:15:51.000 There probably was one guy who was like the top skull and bones guy, and he's just really into fucking dudes, and he just convinced everybody, you know what would be a crazy thing, man?
01:15:58.000 How about we have a group, super secret group, and you can't tell anybody about it.
01:16:01.000 How are we going to stop people from telling people?
01:16:03.000 I know.
01:16:05.000 We're going to film me fucking him in the ass.
01:16:11.000 And really, he's just trying to fuck these guys in the ass.
01:16:14.000 His goal was just to fuck guys in the ass.
01:16:16.000 He's like, man, this is getting harder and harder to trick these dudes.
01:16:19.000 I need to figure out a new way.
01:16:21.000 So he comes up with this super exclusive elite club.
01:16:24.000 It's called Skull and Bones.
01:16:26.000 Do you want in?
01:16:27.000 Yeah.
01:16:28.000 Well, we ought to be able to trust you.
01:16:30.000 You can trust me.
01:16:30.000 I won't tell anybody.
01:16:32.000 I don't believe you, Timmy.
01:16:33.000 Timmy, I don't believe you.
01:16:35.000 I think you would tell.
01:16:36.000 We're going to have to have something on you.
01:16:37.000 Well, I mean, what do you mean?
01:16:39.000 We're going to have to have you do something.
01:16:41.000 That you don't want to do.
01:16:43.000 And that way, if you ever say anything about us, we'll tell everybody about you.
01:16:47.000 Aww.
01:16:48.000 I mean, I really do want to be in the club.
01:16:54.000 Guaranteed, that's how it went down.
01:16:56.000 That's crazy.
01:16:57.000 One alpha gay dude just tricked a bunch of guys.
01:17:00.000 And if it's not skull and bones, maybe they don't do that.
01:17:03.000 But there's a group out there that does.
01:17:05.000 There's one of those groups.
01:17:06.000 One of those crazy groups that's just run by dudes just donking dudes.
01:17:13.000 Right now he's 35. He's still in college.
01:17:16.000 Everybody's like, Mike, why are you still going to school here?
01:17:21.000 Someone's got to make sure.
01:17:24.000 That's how everything starts, right?
01:17:26.000 That the Boneyard, the Bonehouse, the Bonehouse, that our ethics are true.
01:17:33.000 I'm here to uphold the strictest interpretation of the Boneyard's rules.
01:17:39.000 I don't trust you.
01:17:41.000 Whew.
01:17:43.000 Gotta show your commitment.
01:17:44.000 Yeah, everybody bays in oil first.
01:17:47.000 It's like, why are we in oil?
01:17:48.000 What's going on?
01:17:52.000 Just these weird fucking secret societies.
01:17:56.000 You ever heard the Kennedy speech about secret societies?
01:17:59.000 Uh-uh.
01:17:59.000 It's fucking creepy.
01:18:01.000 When it turns out that he eventually gets murdered, it's creepy.
01:18:04.000 Did you see The Irishman?
01:18:06.000 No.
01:18:06.000 Didn't see it.
01:18:07.000 Good?
01:18:08.000 Spoiler alert.
01:18:09.000 Yeah.
01:18:09.000 Yeah.
01:18:11.000 No, it is good.
01:18:12.000 So many people told me that they hated it, that I was shocked when I watched it, and it was good.
01:18:17.000 Pull up Kennedy's speech about secret societies.
01:18:22.000 Because Kennedy had this speech about secret societies that many people speculated had to do with the CIA or had to do with...
01:18:29.000 The movie brings up an angle I didn't know is that he hired his brother to become the Attorney General and he started going after...
01:18:34.000 Yes, the mob.
01:18:35.000 Yeah, I didn't know that.
01:18:36.000 Oh yeah, he did right after they helped him get into office.
01:18:41.000 Well, here's the other thing about the Kennedys.
01:18:43.000 They were drug dealers.
01:18:45.000 100%.
01:18:46.000 Bootleggers.
01:18:47.000 Yes.
01:18:47.000 They were selling whiskey or moonshine or whatever the fuck it was.
01:18:50.000 The movie says the dad was too old at the time to get a hold of the sons.
01:18:53.000 They were trying to get old man Kennedy to tell his kids, crack the whip, get him in line, but they couldn't get to him because he was just staring out windows.
01:19:01.000 Oh, he was done already.
01:19:02.000 Yeah.
01:19:03.000 That makes sense.
01:19:05.000 Listen, man, they were illegal alcohol salesmen.
01:19:10.000 They made a bunch of money selling alcohol illegally, just like a drug dealer does.
01:19:16.000 Same thing.
01:19:17.000 The fact that those folks went on to become this incredibly powerful family, and then two brothers get publicly assassinated?
01:19:27.000 Fucking A, man.
01:19:28.000 Two of them.
01:19:30.000 The fact that you can keep guys around that you know will whack somebody for you like that.
01:19:36.000 They'll be a Jack Ruby or a Sirhan Sirhan.
01:19:40.000 Just trick a guy.
01:19:42.000 Figure out what you got to say to that guy to get that guy to run up on that dude and shoot him in the stomach.
01:19:47.000 I mean, if you put a gun to somebody's head and you tell them that if they don't do this, we're going to kill you and your family, that's it.
01:19:54.000 Pretty much you got them.
01:19:56.000 Especially...
01:19:56.000 Sometimes.
01:19:57.000 You know, like in the movies when they show someone a picture of their family and they show them a picture of their house or whatever.
01:20:02.000 You know what I mean?
01:20:03.000 Like, I know where you live.
01:20:04.000 I know...
01:20:05.000 That's I think it's more than that I think it's guys that you can tell that they're gonna do a good thing They're gonna go out on history and they're gonna live in infamy like for their own personal gain Like you're talking about people that that are so dumb You're willing to you're gonna you're gonna lose the rest of your life Because someone's telling you to go shoot Bobby Kennedy and you're gonna do it in a restaurant in front of everybody It was a hotel That was in Chicago,
01:20:31.000 right?
01:20:32.000 No, it was in L.A. We actually did Fear Factor in the very hotel where he was shot because the hotel eventually shut down.
01:20:40.000 I don't know how long after the assassination, but when we were there, they would rent it out for television shows.
01:20:46.000 It's just like a weird place, man.
01:20:48.000 You'd walk through the kitchen where he got shot.
01:20:50.000 Did he get shot in the kitchen or did they bring him into the kitchen?
01:20:53.000 Probably brought him in.
01:20:53.000 I think it was in the convention part where they were giving a speech.
01:20:57.000 Meeting hall or something.
01:20:59.000 And that guy swears that he didn't kill him.
01:21:03.000 But play that.
01:21:04.000 Play that Kennedy speech.
01:21:07.000 It's actually like a 20-minute speech.
01:21:08.000 I think this is the main highlight we're hopefully looking for.
01:21:12.000 The very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society.
01:21:17.000 And we are, as a people, inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.
01:21:28.000 We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it.
01:21:40.000 Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions.
01:21:49.000 Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation.
01:21:55.000 If our traditions do not survive with it.
01:21:58.000 And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment.
01:22:13.000 That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control.
01:22:18.000 And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, Should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes,
01:22:33.000 or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know.
01:22:39.000 For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion,
01:22:55.000 on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day.
01:23:06.000 It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, Intelligence, economic,
01:23:22.000 scientific, and political operations.
01:23:25.000 Its preparations are concealed, not published.
01:23:28.000 Its mistakes are buried, not headlined.
01:23:32.000 Its dissenters are silenced, not praised.
01:23:35.000 No expenditure is questioned.
01:23:37.000 No rumor is printed.
01:23:39.000 No secret is revealed.
01:23:41.000 No president should fear public scrutiny of his program, for from that scrutiny comes understanding.
01:23:49.000 And from that understanding comes support or opposition.
01:23:52.000 And both are necessary.
01:23:54.000 That's good.
01:23:55.000 You get it.
01:23:57.000 Wow.
01:23:58.000 Crazy, right?
01:23:58.000 Yeah.
01:23:59.000 Now, if you had just heard that if someone else was saying that instead of Kennedy, if someone else was saying those very things in front of you about how they have an open budget, their findings are all concealed, they're a tightly knit group that combines the military and science and all that,
01:24:18.000 you'd be like, What?
01:24:20.000 Are you on Sam Tripoli's podcast this week?
01:24:23.000 Are you on Tinfoil Hat?
01:24:24.000 What are you doing with this wacky thought?
01:24:27.000 You wouldn't think that that would be the president.
01:24:29.000 He's talking about secret society.
01:24:30.000 He's talking about the military industrial complex.
01:24:35.000 He's talking about all the gears that are in play.
01:24:39.000 All the pieces that are in play that are making money and causing war and deciding what information people should and shouldn't have and what overreach You know, they're going to put into action.
01:24:52.000 He's foreshadowing everything.
01:24:53.000 Have you seen the...
01:24:54.000 I watched On the Plane the other day, the Dick Cheney movie with...
01:24:57.000 I haven't heard.
01:24:58.000 It's great though.
01:24:58.000 Oh, you must watch this.
01:25:01.000 What's that called?
01:25:01.000 Cheney?
01:25:02.000 Vice.
01:25:02.000 Vice.
01:25:03.000 With Christian Bale.
01:25:05.000 Right?
01:25:06.000 He gained like 70 fucking pounds for it.
01:25:08.000 He's unreal in this movie.
01:25:11.000 He's great at everything he does.
01:25:13.000 He's in a whole nother gear.
01:25:15.000 He turns into this guy, man.
01:25:17.000 And it's so crazy.
01:25:18.000 He's just a guy working for Halliburton.
01:25:20.000 You know, he's running all this military stuff and has all this experience with, you know, politics.
01:25:26.000 But he's really just a business owner.
01:25:29.000 Look what he looks like.
01:25:30.000 Incredible.
01:25:31.000 He's unreal.
01:25:32.000 How many fat guys saw that movie and go, if I just lost weight, I have a Christian fucking bear.
01:25:37.000 Yeah, it could be Batman.
01:25:38.000 I got that inside of me.
01:25:39.000 I could be Batman.
01:25:40.000 I got Batman inside of me.
01:25:41.000 I mean, I got these pudgy wrists and fucked up hands, but if I just...
01:25:47.000 Wow.
01:25:47.000 I gotta see it.
01:25:48.000 He is crazy.
01:25:49.000 Is that him with or they're next to each other?
01:25:51.000 Next to each other.
01:25:52.000 Just picture next to each other.
01:25:54.000 Wow, he got fat, huh?
01:25:56.000 He went for it.
01:25:57.000 He really went for it, man.
01:25:59.000 It's so good.
01:26:01.000 I mean, it really exposes...
01:26:04.000 That part of things.
01:26:09.000 He's running a massive business that makes military stuff, so us having to do stuff benefits him tremendously.
01:26:18.000 It's one of the most transparent scams that's legal in the history of the world.
01:26:23.000 Just pause and think about how crazy everybody's going on about this Trump call to Ukraine and whether or not there was enough to impeach him and all this madness.
01:26:33.000 People are going crazy about this, right?
01:26:35.000 This is the topic.
01:26:36.000 And I've heard many Democrats go, there's nothing here, folks.
01:26:40.000 You've got to back up.
01:26:41.000 This is not enough to take a guy out of office.
01:26:43.000 The Republicans are never going to vote for this.
01:26:45.000 You guys are making a big mistake here.
01:26:48.000 Now think, imagine a guy who's the vice president of the United States who is also a guy who used to be the CEO of Halliburton.
01:27:01.000 Then this guy decides to go to war under false pretenses.
01:27:05.000 They make up some shit about weapons of mass destruction.
01:27:09.000 They blow this fucking place to smithereens.
01:27:12.000 And then, Halliburton gets no-bid contracts.
01:27:16.000 I mean, this wasn't someone saying, I can do it for $3 billion, I can do it for $2.7 billion.
01:27:19.000 There wasn't any of that.
01:27:21.000 There was a no-bid contract for billions of dollars to repair the places they blow up.
01:27:28.000 And he was making money off of it.
01:27:30.000 It's crazy.
01:27:31.000 I think for the first year or something like that, I want to know when Dick Cheney was actually making money off of Halliburton.
01:27:38.000 I think he had abandoned his position or give up his stocks or something, but it was a while.
01:27:43.000 It was one of those things where you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:27:46.000 You just left.
01:27:48.000 You just left, and then the company you just left is now getting no-bid contracts in the billions.
01:27:54.000 Am I stupid?
01:27:55.000 Right.
01:27:56.000 How are you allowed to do this on television in front of everybody?
01:28:00.000 And the movie also shows how much of the president's ear he really had.
01:28:07.000 Because the president...
01:28:08.000 George W. needed him to win it.
01:28:10.000 He needed him to run with him to get the real Republican votes at the time.
01:28:18.000 For sure.
01:28:18.000 Yeah.
01:28:18.000 For sure.
01:28:19.000 No one else was...
01:28:22.000 He could do what he could do.
01:28:23.000 He needed him.
01:28:25.000 He was deeply, deeply, deeply connected.
01:28:28.000 But it was also, Bush didn't want to do any of that shit.
01:28:30.000 Like, you go ahead and handle it, sir.
01:28:32.000 Yeah, that was the deal that they made.
01:28:34.000 At least in the movie, that's the deal that they made, basically.
01:28:37.000 Who plays Bush?
01:28:39.000 Someone unbelievable.
01:28:40.000 It's what's his name?
01:28:41.000 It's not Sam Rockwell.
01:28:42.000 I think it is, yeah.
01:28:43.000 Is it?
01:28:43.000 Yeah, he's unreal.
01:28:45.000 I mean, this movie was so easy to watch.
01:28:47.000 It's one of those movies where halfway through it, you're like, I hope this never ends.
01:28:51.000 I hope this is long.
01:28:52.000 Who plays Bush?
01:28:54.000 Sam Rockwell?
01:28:54.000 Yeah.
01:28:55.000 Did you ever see the Moon movie?
01:28:57.000 No.
01:28:57.000 Just Moon?
01:28:58.000 There it is.
01:29:00.000 You see the two billboards?
01:29:02.000 Rockwell looks like Bush.
01:29:03.000 Yeah.
01:29:05.000 That's amazing.
01:29:06.000 He's got the eyebrows down.
01:29:08.000 Steve Carell destroys Donald Rumsfeld.
01:29:12.000 Oh, of course he does.
01:29:13.000 Carell's a beast, dude.
01:29:14.000 He's unreal in this.
01:29:16.000 They make Rumsfeld look like basically what he was, just a big doofus that would get out and do his own thing, and they'd have to control Rumsfeld.
01:29:25.000 You want to hear another conspiracy theory that you probably don't know that's going to blow your mind?
01:29:28.000 Let's do it.
01:29:29.000 The day before 9-11, the day before the attacks, Rumsfeld...
01:29:34.000 Gave a press conference where he talked about trillions of dollars missing.
01:29:39.000 The day.
01:29:41.000 Then a plane slams into the very part of the building where they were doing the accounting.
01:29:48.000 Blows up half the fucking building of the Pentagon.
01:29:52.000 Blows up a wall.
01:29:53.000 Donald Rumsfeld Where was it?
01:29:56.000 The White House lawn?
01:29:57.000 Listen to this.
01:29:58.000 This is like 10 minutes, but it's at the Pentagon.
01:30:00.000 This is on C-SPAN. You can look it up right now.
01:30:03.000 We've got to get to the quote where he says...
01:30:06.000 He mentions $2.3 trillion in missing receipts.
01:30:08.000 He talks about his, in quotes, adversary.
01:30:12.000 But see if you can just find the quote.
01:30:16.000 I know there's YouTube videos.
01:30:19.000 What are you looking at?
01:30:20.000 They have clips on here on C-SPAN. If you just Google it, don't even do that, just go through YouTube.
01:30:30.000 I know.
01:30:32.000 You have to see it, because you hear him say it, and you're like, wait, what the fuck did he just say?
01:30:45.000 Yeah, I think that's it.
01:30:49.000 Let's see.
01:30:51.000 According to some estimates, we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions.
01:31:01.000 Okay, now, again, somebody told you that literally, like, right before 9-11 happened, they said they couldn't track $2.3 trillion.
01:31:14.000 You'd go, no, that didn't happen.
01:31:17.000 That did not happen.
01:31:17.000 But it did happen.
01:31:20.000 What the fuck?
01:31:21.000 Yeah, so think about what Kennedy said.
01:31:24.000 Yeah.
01:31:25.000 Think about what you saw when you saw that Vice movie, where Dick Cheney, who was the CEO of Halliburton, becomes the vice president and gets billions of dollars in no-bid contracts.
01:31:37.000 Now think about what we just saw with Donald Rumsfeld saying they couldn't find $2.3 trillion.
01:31:45.000 I don't know where it went.
01:31:46.000 I don't know.
01:31:46.000 I don't know.
01:31:47.000 It seems like we should have had it.
01:31:49.000 We'll keep looking.
01:31:50.000 Oh, no.
01:31:51.000 The spot where we looked just blew up.
01:31:53.000 Oh, my God.
01:31:57.000 What the hell?
01:31:57.000 Find out if that's true.
01:31:59.000 If it was the accounting office, because this is what I love to say it, because it sounds good, but let's make sure it's true, that that part blew up.
01:32:06.000 But either way, that he did say that, and then they did get hit by a plane a couple of days later.
01:32:14.000 It's unbelievable.
01:32:15.000 It's so crazy!
01:32:16.000 And no one talks about that trillion dollars?
01:32:18.000 No one talks about the 2.3 trillion?
01:32:20.000 2 trillion's bigger than most countries, right?
01:32:22.000 That could build a whole other country or something.
01:32:24.000 That's 2.3 million million.
01:32:28.000 Oof.
01:32:29.000 Isn't it?
01:32:29.000 No.
01:32:30.000 A thousand trillion is a billion.
01:32:32.000 No, a thousand billion.
01:32:34.000 No, it's not even...
01:32:35.000 Yeah, a thousand billion is a trillion.
01:32:38.000 A thousand million is a billion.
01:32:40.000 Is a thousand billion a trillion?
01:32:42.000 Yeah.
01:32:43.000 A thousand billion is a trillion.
01:32:45.000 And it's...
01:32:46.000 It's 999 billion.
01:32:49.000 2.3 billion trillion?
01:32:51.000 Is that really what it is?
01:32:54.000 It's 999 billion times 2. It wouldn't be billion trillion.
01:32:59.000 A couple more billions.
01:33:01.000 No.
01:33:02.000 We're so stupid.
01:33:04.000 It's 100,000 and then a million and then 10 of those is a billion, right?
01:33:13.000 Yeah.
01:33:14.000 Or 100 of those.
01:33:16.000 100 million is a billion.
01:33:18.000 It's 100. Yeah.
01:33:19.000 So each one is a hundred.
01:33:20.000 Oh shit.
01:33:22.000 Yeah.
01:33:23.000 Trillion's a whole nother three zeros.
01:33:25.000 Another three zeros.
01:33:27.000 Yeah.
01:33:28.000 That's so much.
01:33:31.000 How would you say that?
01:33:33.000 Look how big it looks written out.
01:33:35.000 Oh my god.
01:33:36.000 That's a million, so that's a billion.
01:33:38.000 That's a trillion.
01:33:40.000 The word billion is referred exclusively to as a million millions.
01:33:43.000 A million millions, okay.
01:33:44.000 But how many is a trillion a billion millions?
01:33:49.000 No, it's a million millions.
01:33:51.000 A trillion's a million millions.
01:33:53.000 Oh, well what's a billion?
01:33:55.000 A thousand millions.
01:33:56.000 Okay, that makes sense.
01:33:57.000 A million millions, so it's 2.3 million millions?
01:34:02.000 That seems like a lot to be missing.
01:34:05.000 And then boom, plane hits the Pentagon.
01:34:07.000 Everybody stops talking about it.
01:34:09.000 When was the last time you heard about that $2.3 trillion?
01:34:12.000 Never.
01:34:12.000 That didn't come up.
01:34:14.000 All the times we were talking about Flight 93, let's roll.
01:34:17.000 Remember that?
01:34:17.000 Let's roll.
01:34:18.000 That's what they said right before they went up to kick our ass.
01:34:20.000 That's why that plane hit the ground.
01:34:22.000 It didn't kill all the fine people that it was going towards the White House or whatever.
01:34:27.000 Let's fuck out of here.
01:34:28.000 In British terms, British English, which is not American English, the word billion referred exclusively to a million millions.
01:34:35.000 However, it is no longer common, and the word is now used to mean 1,000 million.
01:34:39.000 So if anybody is in another country and is confused, that's why.
01:34:43.000 It seems like if that would have gotten out...
01:34:44.000 That makes sense.
01:34:45.000 1,000 million makes sense.
01:34:46.000 Million million doesn't make sense.
01:34:48.000 It seems like if that would have gotten out, that...
01:34:51.000 That that money was missing, that the whole country could have revolted.
01:34:56.000 Like, I mean, that's, what did you do with our tax money?
01:34:59.000 That's our money, right?
01:35:00.000 But that's a way to steal $2.3 trillion.
01:35:03.000 If you stole $2.3 trillion and you want to cover it up, start a war.
01:35:08.000 I mean, boom.
01:35:09.000 Immediately.
01:35:10.000 Everybody's freaking out.
01:35:12.000 They can't believe what's going on.
01:35:15.000 I mean, that's what the tinfoil hat brigade would say.
01:35:18.000 What does this say?
01:35:20.000 MSU scholars find $21 trillion unauthorized government spending.
01:35:24.000 Oh my god, this is recent.
01:35:27.000 $21 trillion in unauthorized government spending defense department to conduct first ever audit.
01:35:33.000 Oh, they've never audited before.
01:35:34.000 Why would they audit?
01:35:35.000 They just get free money.
01:35:36.000 They're not like a regular company, right?
01:35:38.000 The defense department's not like a company.
01:35:40.000 Where, like, all the stockholders are going, hey, fuckface, what are you doing?
01:35:43.000 I got, you know, 100,000 shares of your stupid fucking company.
01:35:46.000 Your CEO's running into the ground.
01:35:48.000 No, they don't even have to audit.
01:35:49.000 They don't do shit.
01:35:51.000 They just take that cheddar.
01:35:53.000 Oh, we're missing, you know, 21 trillion, whatever, whatever.
01:35:57.000 I don't even know what that is.
01:35:58.000 It's a thousand million, billion or something.
01:36:01.000 21. Whatever.
01:36:03.000 Come on.
01:36:04.000 It doesn't even include the last four years.
01:36:06.000 Come on.
01:36:07.000 So the last four years we've been good.
01:36:09.000 Don't pay attention to that.
01:36:11.000 Last four years we haven't misspent at all.
01:36:14.000 That's what Kennedy was talking about, literally.
01:36:16.000 Not saying that anyone, you know, I'm absolutely not saying 9-11 was an inside job.
01:36:21.000 I don't think it was.
01:36:23.000 But I am saying that when things happen and disasters take place, people capitalize on those disasters.
01:36:31.000 And if it's possible that someone was going to set something up, some sort of an attack, and they're going to do it because they were in the process of stealing something or were going to steal something, it would have to be a lot.
01:36:47.000 I'd be like, wait a minute, what are they going to do?
01:36:49.000 How much money would it be worth at the start of war?
01:36:52.000 That might be the number.
01:36:54.000 2.3 trillion?
01:36:56.000 That might be the number.
01:36:58.000 How much would it cost to start a war if you're evil anyway?
01:37:02.000 Hmm.
01:37:03.000 Would you start a war for 100 million?
01:37:05.000 Man, I can't spread that.
01:37:06.000 Thin enough.
01:37:07.000 You know, I've got to grease a lot of palms.
01:37:09.000 We're going to start a war.
01:37:10.000 Why are we starting a war?
01:37:11.000 What's going on?
01:37:12.000 Well, we've got to get this fucking oil, man.
01:37:13.000 I don't know how to do it.
01:37:15.000 I'm thinking I just...
01:37:15.000 I don't like the World Trade Center.
01:37:17.000 Let's just...
01:37:20.000 This is hilarious.
01:37:21.000 I just Googled how much have we spent in Afghanistan.
01:37:23.000 You want to guess how much that number equaled out to?
01:37:26.000 Okay, I'm going to guess.
01:37:28.000 Ever in Afghanistan?
01:37:29.000 No, no.
01:37:30.000 This says published.
01:37:33.000 The thing I just found, which I was going off of, Congressional Budget Office, reported, report published in October 2007, said, oh, could, this isn't a potential spending.
01:37:43.000 Okay, don't give us the number, though.
01:37:44.000 This is a potential spending, then.
01:37:45.000 This is potential what they wanted to spend as of 2007. Okay.
01:37:49.000 What they wanted to spend?
01:37:50.000 Planned spending.
01:37:52.000 Well, how much did they spend?
01:37:53.000 Did they spend more or less?
01:37:54.000 I think they spent way more.
01:37:55.000 Okay, let's just guess.
01:37:57.000 What do you think the number is?
01:37:59.000 Jeez, this is a tough one.
01:38:01.000 In Afghanistan?
01:38:02.000 Only in Afghanistan?
01:38:03.000 That's what it says.
01:38:04.000 Actually, it says Iraq and Afghanistan.
01:38:06.000 I'm going to go with $113 trillion.
01:38:09.000 Whoa, that's a lot.
01:38:11.000 That's a lot.
01:38:11.000 I'm going to go with $100 billion.
01:38:17.000 What is it?
01:38:18.000 They conveniently planned on spending $2.4 trillion.
01:38:23.000 Wow.
01:38:24.000 Which is a very convenient number after we lost $2.3 trillion.
01:38:28.000 But they've spent closer to like $6 trillion or so.
01:38:32.000 This is the worst.
01:38:33.000 This is like if you check somebody's accounting books and they just have stick figures with googly eyes drawn on it.
01:38:39.000 The fact is the exact same amount of money.
01:38:41.000 Like, what are the odds?
01:38:43.000 That is so crazy.
01:38:46.000 But it's not like...
01:38:47.000 We covered it up good.
01:38:48.000 They'll never...
01:38:49.000 Can you imagine that?
01:38:50.000 That that's your laundering?
01:38:51.000 That's your money laundering?
01:38:52.000 War.
01:38:54.000 It's not, but it is, right?
01:38:56.000 Like, if you are someone that makes weapons, and you have a huge contract with the Defense Department, and you have the ear of the Defense Department, and, you know, you guys play golf and shit, and you dress up like druids and burn an effigy,
01:39:13.000 Worship Moloch, the owl god.
01:39:14.000 And you start talking.
01:39:15.000 And you say, hey man, what do we got to do to keep this fucking...
01:39:18.000 I got these tanks I'm making.
01:39:19.000 They are a motherfucker.
01:39:20.000 Wouldn't it be great to try them out?
01:39:22.000 You know, tell you what, I got a deal for you.
01:39:24.000 And they just walk around playing golf, talking shit.
01:39:27.000 And the next thing you know...
01:39:30.000 I mean, who has the ultimate influence in whether or not there is military action and how long that military action goes on for, right?
01:39:39.000 Because Bernie Sanders and a lot of these people and Tulsi Gabbard, a lot of these people that are running for president say that if they got up, one of the things they would do is stop these interventionalist foreign wars and this world police wars that we just go on and invade in other people's lives,
01:39:54.000 that we would stop doing that.
01:39:56.000 I think that's great.
01:39:58.000 Right, but who really gets to say?
01:40:00.000 Like, who gets to say whether or not...
01:40:02.000 Like, who talks to Trump and says, let's just keep rolling into this place.
01:40:06.000 What's rolling?
01:40:07.000 There's a fucking problem over there.
01:40:08.000 ISIS. ISIS building up.
01:40:10.000 Let's bomb the fuck out of these people.
01:40:11.000 Like, who has the real ear?
01:40:13.000 I mean, is it generals?
01:40:16.000 I mean, is there any industry influence at all from weapons industries or from people who have deals with them or...
01:40:25.000 That's what Eisenhower warned about when he left office.
01:40:28.000 You've heard that, right?
01:40:30.000 Yeah.
01:40:30.000 That is one of the craziest speeches a president has ever said.
01:40:34.000 Trump says, you do have a military-industrial complex.
01:40:37.000 They do like war.
01:40:39.000 Yeah.
01:40:40.000 Wow.
01:40:40.000 Remember he said he tried to pull some troops out and they wouldn't let them?
01:40:43.000 Oh, that's right.
01:40:44.000 Trump said that.
01:40:45.000 Don't kid yourself, he says.
01:40:47.000 You do have a military-industrial complex.
01:40:51.000 They do like war.
01:40:52.000 You know, in Syria with the caliphate, so I wipe out 100% of the caliphate.
01:40:56.000 That doesn't mean you're not going to have these crazy people going around blowing up stores and blowing up things.
01:41:01.000 These are seriously ill people, but I wiped out 100% of the caliphate.
01:41:07.000 I said, I want to bring our troops back home.
01:41:09.000 The place went crazy.
01:41:11.000 They want to keep...
01:41:12.000 You have a problem here in Washington.
01:41:14.000 They never want to leave.
01:41:15.000 I said, you know what I'll do?
01:41:17.000 I'll leave a couple hundred soldiers behind, but if it was up to them, they'd bring thousands of soldiers in.
01:41:24.000 Someday people will explain it.
01:41:26.000 But you do have a group, and they call it the military-industrial complex.
01:41:30.000 They never want to leave.
01:41:32.000 They always want to fight.
01:41:33.000 No, I didn't want to fight.
01:41:35.000 But you do have situations like Iran.
01:41:38.000 You can't let them have nuclear weapons.
01:41:40.000 You just can't let that happen, and it goes on.
01:41:44.000 See, like, and that's, you know, that's the thing with Trump.
01:41:49.000 Nobody ever talks about, I feel like, is it's like we've been pretty much anti, you know, we haven't been swayed into as many wars as I feel like we would have been.
01:41:58.000 Who knows?
01:41:59.000 I mean, who knows?
01:42:00.000 I mean, maybe yes, maybe no.
01:42:01.000 Maybe we're closer to war because of him.
01:42:03.000 Who the fuck knows?
01:42:05.000 Trump administration considers 14,000 more troops for the Middle East.
01:42:08.000 That was last week.
01:42:10.000 But he also...
01:42:11.000 Disgusting deployment.
01:42:12.000 You know, who knows, man?
01:42:14.000 Maybe they know things, too.
01:42:15.000 You know, the thing about talking to people like Jocko Willink and, you know, my friend Andy Stump and other folks that have been over there, they'll tell you.
01:42:23.000 There's some times where things build up and radicals control cities and things get really ugly and they have to have some sort of military intervention or these people keep growing and they, you know...
01:42:38.000 That's the other thing that people aren't talking about.
01:42:41.000 In Afghanistan in particular, the Afghanis are working with the soldiers against these terrorist organizations.
01:42:52.000 There's Afghanis that are helping U.S. soldiers.
01:42:54.000 It's not like all of the U.S. against all of Afghanistan.
01:42:59.000 No, they're combined against ISIS. It's just...
01:43:06.000 The whole thing is so crazy that there's these groups, these organizations that are like characters in a James Bond movie or in a comic book, right?
01:43:19.000 Think about ISIS, something like ISIS. If you had a crazy movie...
01:43:24.000 About people that, you know, had a great leader who's like the spiritual guy who lived in the mountains and, you know, that's Osama Bin Laden.
01:43:32.000 I mean, he is like a character in a movie.
01:43:34.000 He used to work for the good guys, then he switched over to the bad guys.
01:43:37.000 It's like someone in a Batman movie, you know?
01:43:40.000 Yeah.
01:43:41.000 Lives in caves.
01:43:42.000 Yeah.
01:43:44.000 It's just, all of it is weird, man.
01:43:46.000 I mean...
01:43:48.000 The whole thing about you draw Muhammad, they'll kill you.
01:43:51.000 Like how extreme the religion is and how devoted people are.
01:43:56.000 And you can't question any of it.
01:43:58.000 It's the most extreme in that regard where it doesn't allow any questioning of it.
01:44:03.000 And then, you know, people...
01:44:05.000 I can't understand that some people practice it the same way some people practice Christianity or some people practice other things.
01:44:13.000 They only believe or take part in the positive, good parts of the religion.
01:44:19.000 So there's a lot of people that are Muslims that are great people.
01:44:22.000 They're really kind, really well-educated, wonderful, thoughtful people.
01:44:26.000 They don't have nothing to do with terrorists.
01:44:28.000 And when there is some sort of terrorist activity, it makes them feel bad, that they're getting lumped in with someone who's doing horrific things.
01:44:36.000 These people that, you know, end up committing to these extreme religions, I feel like we should be dropping, like, soccer balls and Nintendo switches from airplanes to give them things to do so that they're...
01:44:47.000 Well, they're stuck.
01:44:49.000 ...believe in something.
01:44:50.000 If you're stuck in a place that's got a very rigid religious ideology and radical, and, you know, you've been radicalized since you were young...
01:44:57.000 And then you got places like Yemen, right?
01:45:00.000 Places that are getting bombed by the U.S. for fucking robots.
01:45:03.000 Planes are flying overhead.
01:45:04.000 They're gunning down wedding parties accidentally and killing people.
01:45:07.000 I mean, that happens.
01:45:08.000 It's pretty common, right?
01:45:10.000 So you're making more radicals.
01:45:12.000 Because then there's people who lost their family members to some robot flying in the sky.
01:45:16.000 Some kid is, you know, he's got an Xbox control in his hand.
01:45:20.000 And he's shooting missiles.
01:45:22.000 You know, they say those guys who are those pilots, they suffer PTSD as well.
01:45:26.000 Those pilots are weirded out by that shit.
01:45:29.000 Imagine being a drone pilot, and you're watching something that you kind of know is happening.
01:45:34.000 You definitely know it's happening, right?
01:45:36.000 You're controlling it.
01:45:37.000 You see it.
01:45:38.000 But when you hit that button, you watch those missiles shoot down Hellfire missiles.
01:45:44.000 They call them Hellfire, too, which is crazy.
01:45:45.000 Shoot down into these camps.
01:45:48.000 Shoot down into these motorcades.
01:45:50.000 You know what you just did.
01:45:52.000 And most likely, you're killing 8 out of 10 of those people who are innocent.
01:45:58.000 And because of the fact that a drone does it, we're like, eh, what are you going to do?
01:46:03.000 Like, we had a soldier, and like, hey, Tony, you've got to stop killing innocent people.
01:46:08.000 Hey, I'm a fucking killer, okay?
01:46:10.000 You sent me after those bad guys.
01:46:12.000 There's a lot of babies around.
01:46:13.000 I had to fucking let them know.
01:46:15.000 You ain't going to stop me from getting that bad guy.
01:46:17.000 There's no way.
01:46:18.000 We'll put you in jail.
01:46:21.000 But if you have an Xbox controller and you're shooting Hellfire missiles into a fucking school because you think that there's a terrorist in there.
01:46:30.000 Like, what?
01:46:31.000 And you know, they set them up sometimes, too.
01:46:33.000 They give bad advice or bad intel.
01:46:36.000 So they try to get someone to blow up a school or get someone to blow up a wedding party.
01:46:41.000 Like, there's a lot of fuckery involved in anything you're doing like that where they know that if you do kill people, it's actually bad press.
01:46:48.000 It's bad for you.
01:46:50.000 Public perception goes the other way.
01:46:52.000 That bad intel is something else.
01:46:54.000 They came out with another different type of World War II in color.
01:46:57.000 You ever watch World War II in color?
01:46:59.000 I still have it.
01:47:00.000 I think it's one though, right?
01:47:02.000 Isn't it one?
01:47:03.000 They just came out with a second one.
01:47:05.000 I was obsessed with one.
01:47:06.000 It's the only thing on Netflix that I've watched like five, six, seven times and they just dropped another one with a whole different footage and a whole different angles with historian interviews cut in between and everything.
01:47:17.000 All the old film.
01:47:18.000 I can't believe how many cameramen they had shooting this crazy shit back in the day.
01:47:23.000 They're on the battlefield and you can see it's a tundra.
01:47:27.000 People are free.
01:47:28.000 The soldiers are freezing.
01:47:29.000 I'm like, who's the guy filming this?
01:47:31.000 Animals.
01:47:32.000 Crazy.
01:47:33.000 The actual, like, tick-tick-tick-tick.
01:47:35.000 I can't imagine how they were doing this.
01:47:37.000 Do you think they had to crank it?
01:47:38.000 I don't know.
01:47:39.000 Probably a small handheld, like, 8mm.
01:47:41.000 And you think they cranked it while they did it?
01:47:42.000 Or did they go on mechanical?
01:47:44.000 Like, where would the battery be?
01:47:46.000 I don't know.
01:47:46.000 It seems like it would be right.
01:47:48.000 They'd probably have to crank it.
01:47:49.000 Don't you think?
01:47:50.000 Probably, yeah.
01:47:51.000 Whoa.
01:47:52.000 Isn't that what they did in the old days?
01:47:53.000 Ready, action!
01:47:55.000 Didn't they do that?
01:47:57.000 Didn't they crank it?
01:47:58.000 I think so.
01:47:58.000 Am I imagining that?
01:47:59.000 Like, old cameras?
01:48:00.000 I think so.
01:48:02.000 I feel like they cranked them.
01:48:06.000 Imagine that was not that long ago, man.
01:48:08.000 That's what's really weird.
01:48:10.000 This book right here, I had this author in the other day.
01:48:14.000 His name's Sam, Sam Gwynn, S.C. Gwynn.
01:48:17.000 He wrote this book, Empire of the Summer Moon.
01:48:19.000 It's fucking amazing, man.
01:48:21.000 It's about the Comanches.
01:48:24.000 And it's about the war they had through Texas and Oklahoma.
01:48:30.000 It went on forever.
01:48:31.000 The Comanches were the last holdout against the American settlers and against the soldiers.
01:48:36.000 The Comanches were the last holdouts.
01:48:38.000 They were the last truly wild tribe.
01:48:40.000 And they were running the plains for hundreds and hundreds of years with horses and shit.
01:48:45.000 But here's the thing, man.
01:48:46.000 This book, it's taken place in the mid-1800s to the late-1800s.
01:48:52.000 Which is like, that's so recently!
01:48:56.000 It's so recent!
01:48:57.000 Yeah, the giant rock from Egypt came over in 1888. Yes, came over in 1888, right?
01:49:05.000 It's probably older than that, but these people were essentially living a nomadic Stone Age life.
01:49:14.000 Everything was leather and sinew and buffalo tendons they used to make their bows and their bow strings.
01:49:21.000 They made their own bows and arrows out of wood, and the arrowheads were made out of flint.
01:49:27.000 They would chip away expertly, and they would run around following buffalo and just shoot them with bows and arrows and spear them or run them off cliffs.
01:49:36.000 They would run them off cliffs and stampedes.
01:49:38.000 They'd get to the bottom.
01:49:39.000 And there were sometimes so many bodies down in the bottom of these buffalo jumps that the rotting would cause combustion and they would blow up.
01:49:48.000 They would explode and catch fire just because there's hundreds and hundreds of dead, rotting buffalo on top of each other.
01:49:56.000 Because they can't eat that many.
01:49:58.000 Like, say if you have a tribe, you have a tribe of 150 people, and you kill 1,000 buffalo.
01:50:03.000 Like, how many of those are you going to eat?
01:50:05.000 You can't really eat all of them.
01:50:07.000 So they would just let them sit there and they would literally start massive wildfires because they would burst into flames.
01:50:15.000 I saw bison when I was driving from Salt Lake City to some other gig.
01:50:22.000 I should be clear.
01:50:23.000 I don't think they started massive wildfires.
01:50:25.000 I think they started a massive buffalo fire.
01:50:27.000 The fires of the dead bodies.
01:50:29.000 I don't know if there was like shit to burn outside of there.
01:50:32.000 There must be though, right?
01:50:34.000 Wait.
01:50:35.000 It's probably grass and stuff on the ground.
01:50:37.000 Oh.
01:50:37.000 That's where the buffalo were eating.
01:50:38.000 But it's at the bottom of a cliff.
01:50:40.000 I don't know what was down there.
01:50:42.000 But they had these areas that they would call buffalo jumps, where they would just circle them on this high and circle them on this high.
01:50:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
01:50:50.000 Yell at them.
01:50:51.000 These buffalo will be like, oh, where do I go?
01:50:52.000 And they're just off the cliff.
01:50:54.000 Everybody.
01:50:54.000 And by the time you're running to the cliff, and you realize, oh my god, this is a cliff.
01:50:59.000 You try to hit the brakes, there's a thousand fat fucks behind you, pushing you off the cliff.
01:51:05.000 Wow.
01:51:07.000 Imagine being the first buffalo to get really close.
01:51:10.000 He's running up to the cliff.
01:51:12.000 He's like, oh, oh, oh, shit!
01:51:13.000 Oh, shit!
01:51:14.000 He turns around.
01:51:15.000 Blah!
01:51:17.000 Blah!
01:51:20.000 The dumbest fucking giant beast on earth.
01:51:24.000 The dumbest.
01:51:25.000 Elephants are smart, right?
01:51:27.000 Buffaloes are so dumb.
01:51:28.000 They're just running.
01:51:32.000 Buffaloes are like, no disrespect to the buffalo.
01:51:36.000 But they talk in the book about how they would shoot buffalo, and that everybody had disdain for how dumb the buffalo were.
01:51:42.000 I think it probably made it easy for them to almost wipe them out to the point of extinction.
01:51:46.000 But if you shoot buffalo, one goes down, and the other ones look, and they go right back to eating.
01:51:51.000 And then another one goes down, and they look, and they go back to eating.
01:51:54.000 You have to literally go out, they were saying, and yell at them to get them to move.
01:51:59.000 That's the only way you got them away from the ones you shot, because you wanted to eat the ones you shot.
01:52:04.000 So when the ones went down, they were like, get out of here!
01:52:07.000 Get the fuck out of here!
01:52:08.000 Okay, alright.
01:52:10.000 I was gonna hang around and eat while my friends died.
01:52:14.000 Bunch of dummies.
01:52:15.000 But meanwhile, it's an amazing animal.
01:52:17.000 You know?
01:52:19.000 It's like you were gonna say that God had a plan.
01:52:25.000 To provide people with the perfect animal for hunting, which wants you to be eating healthy, so I'm going to give you millions of this fucking enormous animal that doesn't move when you shoot its friends.
01:52:43.000 Literally fill the planes with these things.
01:52:47.000 People were just such cunts that they killed them all.
01:52:51.000 People were so gross because the buffaloes are so easy to kill that they just killed them all.
01:52:56.000 They would have mountains of bones, man.
01:52:59.000 There's a buffalo jump.
01:53:00.000 The bonfire shelter is what it's called.
01:53:02.000 It had two big events in history where it happened here.
01:53:05.000 Right.
01:53:06.000 So, they call it the bonfire because all that blackened shit apparently was because of the fires from the buffaloes hitting and bursting into flames.
01:53:14.000 And some of those buffalo jumps, they say to this day, you can find arrowheads if you go wandering around the area because, you know, it's so populated by...
01:53:23.000 Native Americans at the time.
01:53:25.000 But the Comanches?
01:53:27.000 Dude, I think this is...
01:53:28.000 Is this Buffalo Jump in Montana?
01:53:31.000 I was just looking up.
01:53:32.000 This one's in Texas.
01:53:33.000 Oh, in Texas.
01:53:34.000 Yeah.
01:53:34.000 So Texas was the Comanches.
01:53:36.000 There's other Native American tribes there, too, but a lot of it was the Comanches, which is in this book.
01:53:40.000 A lot of this book takes place in Texas.
01:53:42.000 It's fucking amazing, dude.
01:53:44.000 And so scary.
01:53:46.000 There's these buffaloes falling down, hitting a rock.
01:53:48.000 Whoa!
01:53:49.000 Look at that.
01:54:11.000 At the opening of the shelter, there are historically documented accounts of Northern Plains Indian groups using this effective, if indiscriminate, technique of killing bison.
01:54:21.000 But you also have to remember back then, there was so many bison that if they thought they killed a couple extra thousand, they didn't give a fuck.
01:54:28.000 They were everywhere.
01:54:29.000 There were so many of them.
01:54:31.000 And here's why that happened.
01:54:32.000 Here's where it gets even weirder.
01:54:33.000 They think that that happened because people got smallpox and it killed like 90% of the Native American population.
01:54:43.000 So when the Europeans came over in the 1500s, and whatever it was when Cortez came over here, what was that?
01:54:49.000 Was that the 1500s?
01:54:51.000 Anyway, when those guys came over and brought smallpox, it just wiped out most of the population.
01:54:58.000 So the buffalo, who really, their major predator was people, especially Native Americans, especially once they figured out how to ride horses.
01:55:06.000 But now all those dudes died.
01:55:08.000 And so the buffalo went ham, just fucked up a storm, and then there was millions of them.
01:55:15.000 There's an author, Dan Flores, who has this whole paper that he wrote on it.
01:55:18.000 Was it called Bison Ecology, Bison Diplomacy, I think it's called?
01:55:22.000 Something along those lines.
01:55:24.000 But it's crazy.
01:55:25.000 You hear about the fate of the bison in North America.
01:55:29.000 I mean, it's like the most iconic animal when you really think about the Old West.
01:55:33.000 If there was one animal when you think about the Old West, maybe it'd be horses, but more likely it'd be a bison.
01:55:38.000 Yeah.
01:55:40.000 Why do they call Buffalo, Buffalo?
01:55:42.000 The city of Buffalo?
01:55:43.000 Good question.
01:55:44.000 Because a bison is not technically the same as a buffalo.
01:55:49.000 Because those people don't move when they should, too?
01:55:54.000 You son of a bitch.
01:55:55.000 You snuck that in good.
01:55:57.000 It's good timing, too.
01:55:59.000 You had a good pause there.
01:56:01.000 I'm genuinely curious.
01:56:03.000 It's a good pause.
01:56:04.000 It seems like...
01:56:05.000 I don't know.
01:56:07.000 Maybe there was a lot of buffalo back then.
01:56:08.000 There's buffalo everywhere.
01:56:10.000 They were like elk.
01:56:11.000 Elk were in literally every state.
01:56:13.000 Pretty much.
01:56:15.000 People were gross, man.
01:56:17.000 We killed everything.
01:56:21.000 The quick question of what's the difference is, contrary to the song, buffalo do not roam in American West.
01:56:27.000 They are indigenous to South Asia and Africa.
01:56:30.000 Buffalo.
01:56:31.000 While bison are found in North America.
01:56:33.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
01:56:34.000 They call it American buffalo, but it's a bison.
01:56:37.000 It's a different animal.
01:56:38.000 The buffalo that you get in Asia and Asian water buffalo, those are the ones they get that are in Australia.
01:56:46.000 They brought those over to Australia.
01:56:49.000 Dude, they got a mess over there.
01:56:51.000 There's nothing that kills them.
01:56:52.000 So they're just all over the place.
01:56:55.000 And they destroy the land.
01:56:57.000 They're so big.
01:56:58.000 There's so many of them.
01:56:59.000 And they're wild.
01:57:00.000 They even have wild domestic cows that grow out of control.
01:57:04.000 And the males become like super ferocious.
01:57:07.000 You know like a bull?
01:57:08.000 Like a bull doesn't want you riding them?
01:57:10.000 Well, they have a thing in Australia called scrub bulls.
01:57:12.000 And what it is is a domestic cattle.
01:57:14.000 Like domestic cattle.
01:57:15.000 But that went wild.
01:57:17.000 Like...
01:57:19.000 Generations ago, many, many generations ago.
01:57:21.000 So now they're just wild animals that happen to have enormous fucking horns and weigh 2,000 pounds and freak out if they see people.
01:57:28.000 So they see people, if you're too close, they think you're close in to try to kill them, they just fuck you up.
01:57:34.000 Oh, fuck that.
01:57:37.000 It's Crocodile Dundee.
01:57:39.000 I think that's a water buffalo.
01:57:44.000 That's what's here.
01:57:45.000 That's this.
01:57:46.000 See, that above me is from my friend Adam Greentree.
01:57:49.000 He shot one of those.
01:57:50.000 Oh, this is crazy.
01:57:50.000 He's going to walk up to the thing.
01:57:52.000 He knows voodoo.
01:57:53.000 He put his hand on it and it just dropped.
01:57:56.000 Yeah, in the real world, he would be dead as fuck.
01:58:00.000 That thing would just smash him.
01:58:02.000 He's like, I'll just touch your head.
01:58:04.000 Hi.
01:58:05.000 I'll just touch your head.
01:58:07.000 Hi.
01:58:08.000 And then the bull just gave in and went down.
01:58:13.000 Wow.
01:58:14.000 Yeah.
01:58:15.000 So, that dude, you know he wound up marrying the girl?
01:58:20.000 That girl?
01:58:21.000 That girl with the camera.
01:58:22.000 No.
01:58:22.000 His co-star.
01:58:23.000 Yeah.
01:58:23.000 Wow.
01:58:25.000 She's like, man, I could do that with a bull.
01:58:26.000 What else can you do?
01:58:27.000 Yeah.
01:58:28.000 Yeah.
01:58:29.000 But that's all around Australia.
01:58:30.000 Those big-ass giant bulls.
01:58:32.000 And then big-ass scrub bulls.
01:58:34.000 Wild domestic cows.
01:58:35.000 Australia's a mess.
01:58:36.000 In that sense, wildlife-wise.
01:58:38.000 Because there's so many things that are invasive.
01:58:40.000 This last time we were there, for the first time I actually went to a sanctuary, one of those places, and...
01:58:48.000 With Jeremiah and Joel, and we had a blast, man.
01:58:51.000 There are some crazy animals down there.
01:58:53.000 We held a koala bear, took a picture with a koala.
01:58:57.000 Let me tell you, I feel like the American version of that animal seems so cute and soft and light.
01:59:04.000 It feels like a stuffed animal, what we think a koala is.
01:59:08.000 And we went to take a picture of this thing, and this lady handed me this koala.
01:59:14.000 It felt like it was tiny, right?
01:59:17.000 Same size that I thought it would be.
01:59:18.000 But the thing was like fucking three bowling balls.
01:59:22.000 It was just so heavy.
01:59:24.000 It's a bear.
01:59:25.000 It's a real bear, and this is the thing.
01:59:28.000 And exactly.
01:59:29.000 We call it a koala.
01:59:31.000 Oh, it's a koala.
01:59:32.000 But it should be illegal to say it without the word bear attached to it.
01:59:36.000 Because let me tell you, this fucking thing, they have to feed these things eucalyptus leaves the entire time.
01:59:42.000 That's all it eats.
01:59:43.000 Well...
01:59:44.000 What I didn't know is that that's all it eats and that's all it does.
01:59:49.000 The second this thing is done with one of the eucalyptus leaves, they have to hand it another one because you can feel its energy change.
01:59:58.000 It turns its head and it gets a fucking little bit of a look.
02:00:02.000 It's ready to fuck you up.
02:00:03.000 You have to just keep feeding this.
02:00:05.000 These are like drug addicts on an IV drip that are starting to feel pain the second they don't have the drip.
02:00:12.000 Of course, like how much nutrition is a goddamn eucalyptus leaf?
02:00:15.000 They probably have to eat them, they have to stuff themselves with it.
02:00:18.000 Yep, and they're solid as a rock, so think about all that they must, you know.
02:00:22.000 Oh my god.
02:00:24.000 And you know, their claws, it's just a real bear, man.
02:00:28.000 Which, it wasn't until I held that koala in which I realized the true power of what we consider an actual bear.
02:00:35.000 Yeah.
02:00:35.000 Because it's like, that thing's this big, right?
02:00:38.000 And it felt like that.
02:00:39.000 It was that strong and sturdy in their hands and everything.
02:00:43.000 You feel everything.
02:00:45.000 To say it's a ball of muscle would be a tremendous understatement.
02:00:50.000 And...
02:00:51.000 Honest to God, man, I thought we were going to go take pictures with these koalas because they have the little girl zookeepers and they seem super comfortable and they're giggling and happy and everything, but it ended up being a serious situation.
02:01:02.000 I was scared.
02:01:04.000 That's hilarious.
02:01:05.000 I was very scared.
02:01:05.000 Jeremiah kept making fun of me because of how scared I was.
02:01:08.000 I'm like, I'm good.
02:01:09.000 She's like, you want to take a group picture with all of you in the bear?
02:01:11.000 I'm like, nah, that was enough.
02:01:12.000 Good for you.
02:01:13.000 Right now, because of a gigantic wildfire in Australia, they've become functionally extinct Which means that 80% of their range has been destroyed by wildfire.
02:01:24.000 So you didn't even find anything on that.
02:01:25.000 I think my numbers are right.
02:01:27.000 If you see, um...
02:01:29.000 Aww, there you guys.
02:01:31.000 Yeah, that's us.
02:01:32.000 Look how far away I am.
02:01:33.000 Look at my hand.
02:01:34.000 My hand's on Jeremiah's hand.
02:01:36.000 Good, because he's thinking about biting you.
02:01:37.000 Look.
02:01:38.000 It is.
02:01:38.000 It's like, fucking Tony.
02:01:40.000 Fuck you, Tony.
02:01:41.000 It's like, ready to bite you, bro.
02:01:42.000 Look.
02:01:42.000 Oh, you guys are all handsy with each other.
02:01:44.000 That's a little weird.
02:01:45.000 You can't tell.
02:01:46.000 There's the final result.
02:01:47.000 Jeremiah and that dude break off.
02:01:52.000 We're literally laughing about that as it's happening.
02:01:55.000 Yeah, see if you can pull up the article on them, koalas now functionally extinct in Australia.
02:02:01.000 Because I think 80% of their range has been destroyed.
02:02:06.000 And, you know, you're talking about the only places where they can live and breed, and there's a giant population of them.
02:02:15.000 Koalas aren't functionally extinct, but they need our health.
02:02:17.000 Well, what does it say?
02:02:18.000 Well, this is one scene that...
02:02:20.000 See, Google koalas are functionally extinct.
02:02:23.000 That's what I did.
02:02:24.000 I looked it up and that's what popped up.
02:02:25.000 And these things stink too, by the way.
02:02:27.000 I was obsessed with the smell of eucalyptus.
02:02:31.000 So there's all these new articles that say they aren't extinct.
02:02:33.000 Okay.
02:02:34.000 So you know what it probably was?
02:02:35.000 I probably got caught up in some scientific clickbait.
02:02:37.000 Here's the one that says they may be as of May.
02:02:40.000 So people updated it.
02:02:43.000 But it was really recent.
02:02:45.000 Where are these ones coming from?
02:02:47.000 You're looking at older ones from May.
02:02:50.000 See how everything's from May?
02:02:51.000 New York Times, Forbes, National Geographic.
02:02:53.000 No, no, no.
02:02:53.000 Look, I'm not saying you're wrong, Jamie.
02:02:55.000 What I'm saying is the older ones, when they're saying they were functionally extinct, was from May, which doesn't totally make sense because were there that many fires in May?
02:03:03.000 Because aren't these fires of real recent?
02:03:04.000 Well, there are a bunch now, yeah.
02:03:07.000 So most of them are saying, no, koalas aren't functionally extinct.
02:03:11.000 Yeah.
02:03:12.000 I guess, yeah, it says, after there were bushfires, it overstated claims.
02:03:17.000 Okay, yeah.
02:03:17.000 So that's what you've got to wonder about today, man.
02:03:19.000 Anytime you read an article, like, I didn't even read it, right?
02:03:21.000 I just read the head, the heading.
02:03:24.000 That's how they're getting you with everything.
02:03:26.000 That's clickbait.
02:03:27.000 And it's almost like they have to do that.
02:03:29.000 Like, if you have a great article, but it doesn't have a catchy headline, how many people are going to...
02:03:34.000 It's almost like you have to come up with something that's almost a lie.
02:03:38.000 Yeah.
02:03:39.000 You have to get their attention.
02:03:40.000 You have to at least give them the little bit that the article might not even be about.
02:03:45.000 You just have to get them to click.
02:03:47.000 It's like a salesman or a sales job.
02:03:50.000 How often does Australia have fires?
02:03:52.000 If they have a giant one in May and they have another giant one now...
02:03:56.000 And I was watching a show, some show from Australia where some dude was losing weight, like some fitness show.
02:04:04.000 You know, his wife got him to go on this show and he's losing all this weight and he has to do all these exercises and shit.
02:04:13.000 And while they were there, they were worried that they were going to have to evacuate.
02:04:17.000 Because these giant fires were coming their way.
02:04:19.000 I'm like, how often is Australia on fire?
02:04:22.000 And when that place is on fire, that's a huge place with not that many people.
02:04:28.000 Right.
02:04:30.000 Oh!
02:04:31.000 How much has been burned equivalent to a map of America?
02:04:34.000 That's insane!
02:04:35.000 Dude, that is insane.
02:04:37.000 Wow.
02:04:38.000 That's insane.
02:04:39.000 We're looking at most of Manhattan and then a giant chunk of New York State, a giant chunk of Pennsylvania.
02:04:46.000 It looks like New Jersey's completely engulfed.
02:04:50.000 That's nuts.
02:04:52.000 Wow.
02:04:52.000 That's a huge patch.
02:04:54.000 And all out into the ocean as well.
02:04:57.000 So that's the thing.
02:04:58.000 If you look at that, if you pulled way back at the entire continent and looked at that little square, it wouldn't look as big.
02:05:05.000 Wow, look at that.
02:05:07.000 Pittsburgh to Cleveland.
02:05:08.000 Yeah, but go way back.
02:05:10.000 No, go way small so you can see the whole continent.
02:05:14.000 So that's how you've got to think of Australia.
02:05:16.000 So that's how Australia looks at it.
02:05:18.000 Hopefully he'll get out on his own.
02:05:20.000 Not much we can do about it.
02:05:23.000 You've got to get rid of these fucking buffalo.
02:05:26.000 Wouldn't it be fun to just get dropped off somewhere like that with a bunch of, just like 30 days worth of stuff in a backpack to survive and just be lost?
02:05:34.000 Sure.
02:05:34.000 Except if you break your ankle.
02:05:35.000 Right.
02:05:35.000 And then you're wondering if you're going to die this way.
02:05:38.000 That could be the future of vacations, right?
02:05:39.000 Australian brush fact.
02:05:41.000 Fact check.
02:05:41.000 Are this year's fires unprecedented?
02:05:43.000 Conservative commentators have pointed out a long history of brush fires, suggest there is nothing unusual about this season.
02:05:49.000 Experts disagree.
02:05:50.000 So it's even worse this season.
02:05:52.000 Yeah, that's a big chunk of land, man.
02:05:56.000 I was reading or watching a video, rather, today.
02:05:59.000 I put it on my Twitter about this family in Siberia that they found, that had escaped communist persecution.
02:06:07.000 They were really religious.
02:06:09.000 And they moved to the middle of Siberia, and they found them one day there.
02:06:15.000 And they had no idea World War II had happened.
02:06:17.000 They were missing out on, like, giant...
02:06:20.000 They had no contact with the outside world.
02:06:22.000 The daughters had never seen people before.
02:06:27.000 Dude.
02:06:27.000 Were they, like, homeschooled the kids?
02:06:30.000 Oh, I mean, they taught them what they could, but they're all just barely surviving.
02:06:33.000 One of them starved to death.
02:06:35.000 The mother starved to death.
02:06:36.000 And it's a cartoon of it all.
02:06:38.000 So it's real weird.
02:06:39.000 Like, you watch this cartoon, you know, and this lady just starves to death in the cartoon.
02:06:44.000 Wow.
02:06:45.000 Yeah, and they were growing their own food and hunting what they can, but they didn't have a bow and arrow, they didn't have a gun, so they would set traps in the ground floor, and animals would fall in, and sticks would stab them.
02:06:56.000 Is that what they looked like?
02:06:57.000 Mm-hmm.
02:06:58.000 Yeah.
02:06:59.000 Not long after they got found.
02:07:01.000 Fucking crazy, man.
02:07:02.000 So they were, I think they were out there for, that was 78 when they got found?
02:07:06.000 I think so.
02:07:07.000 I think they were out there pre-World War II, so wrap your head around that.
02:07:12.000 Ugh.
02:07:13.000 so they might have been out there for you know 30 plus years and that was the shack they lived in that was the place they lived in and they're they're in the fucking taiga man they're in siberia they're 150 miles from the late the the nearest city they walked they got 150 miles in and set up shop because some of the people that they were with in their religious group were killed By communists.
02:07:39.000 Some were arrested and persecuted and they just had to flee.
02:07:43.000 So they took off and they made a little commune up there.
02:07:46.000 Good God.
02:07:48.000 Good God.
02:07:48.000 Freezing cold Siberia, right?
02:07:50.000 Freezing cold and starving to death.
02:07:52.000 The mother starved to death to let the kids live.
02:07:55.000 It's crazy.
02:07:56.000 They barely made it and then they started growing some food.
02:08:00.000 And they figured out a way to, the remaining people that didn't starve to death, figured out a way to survive.
02:08:06.000 But they were barely hanging on.
02:08:07.000 They were all barefoot when they found them.
02:08:08.000 They eat their mom?
02:08:09.000 Probably not, right?
02:08:11.000 You can't bring yourself to eat your own mother, right?
02:08:13.000 You might eat your mom.
02:08:14.000 If you're starving.
02:08:15.000 She's not going to need that meat.
02:08:17.000 Right?
02:08:19.000 You don't?
02:08:20.000 I don't want to look.
02:08:21.000 What do you do?
02:08:21.000 Do you starve to death with her or do you eat her?
02:08:23.000 I think she would want, I think my mom would want me to eat her.
02:08:25.000 I know your mom would want me to eat her.
02:08:33.000 I get to see her this week.
02:08:34.000 I get to have my mom's spaghetti sauce for the first time in a year and a half or so.
02:08:38.000 Dude, your mom's hilarious.
02:08:39.000 You should really legitimately write for her and take her on the road.
02:08:44.000 Does your mom work?
02:08:45.000 Does she have a job?
02:08:46.000 No.
02:08:46.000 She's an old lady now.
02:08:47.000 Dude, take that old lady on the road.
02:08:49.000 You're so funny.
02:08:50.000 I'm telling you.
02:08:51.000 Your mom is funny, man.
02:08:52.000 She could do it.
02:08:53.000 If you wrote for her, that would be a good writing exercise for you.
02:08:56.000 Write for your mom.
02:08:58.000 Yeah.
02:08:59.000 Especially if you brought her to Kill Tony shows, and she goes up and just does a couple minutes in these towns.
02:09:05.000 Oh, she's definitely going to do Kill Tony again.
02:09:08.000 I don't think she knows it, but episode 500 is coming fast.
02:09:12.000 We're at like 419 right now.
02:09:14.000 That's awesome.
02:09:15.000 Yeah.
02:09:16.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:09:17.000 It's awesome that you guys are doing these big giant road shows, too.
02:09:20.000 It's fucking killer, man.
02:09:21.000 Yeah.
02:09:22.000 We're in the middle of it, right?
02:09:23.000 And this is the end of it.
02:09:24.000 We've been everywhere this year.
02:09:25.000 It was such a crazy year for us.
02:09:27.000 We literally went everywhere.
02:09:28.000 Australia, Europe, and everywhere in America.
02:09:31.000 Every major Canadian city.
02:09:33.000 Well, it's such a good concept.
02:09:34.000 If you like stand-up, and you want to know what it's like to try it out in the beginning, and then try it out in the most hostile environment, no demand, but also most supportive, because if the comic's good, like if someone does a solid minute, every time I've been on the show, we'll be like,
02:09:49.000 fuck yeah, man, that was good!
02:09:51.000 The crowd loves it.
02:09:52.000 If people are laughing, you're like, okay, how long have you been doing it?
02:09:55.000 You ask them, like, alright, yeah, how'd you get started?
02:09:59.000 Fucking, I mean, for a comic, man, if you've got a good, solid minute, if you actually can do it, it's an amazing thing for you.
02:10:06.000 For sure.
02:10:07.000 You could literally get a career started and rolling from doing Kill Tony with one minute.
02:10:13.000 They have.
02:10:15.000 I mean, we've had so many people start on Kill Tony, literally start there.
02:10:19.000 It's amazing.
02:10:20.000 But it's also, it's like, it's a cool way for everyone else to see what it's like when someone's either just doing it for the first time, or just, I mean, most people have never been to an open mic night.
02:10:31.000 Right.
02:10:31.000 They might see your special online, or they might see someone else's special online, and go, oh, that's what a comic looks like.
02:10:38.000 I don't know how to do that.
02:10:39.000 But then you watch an open mic night, especially Kill Tony.
02:10:42.000 There's at least...
02:10:43.000 How many people do you get up in an episode?
02:10:45.000 About eight.
02:10:46.000 Eight, okay.
02:10:47.000 At least three are fucking atrocious.
02:10:51.000 Yeah.
02:10:52.000 Atrocious.
02:10:52.000 At least three.
02:10:53.000 Yeah.
02:10:54.000 Where you're just like, holy shit.
02:10:56.000 Luckily, they're only doing 60 seconds, and that's what makes it fun.
02:10:59.000 That mix-in.
02:11:00.000 I do this poll sometimes, especially on the road shows, where at some point in the episode I'll go...
02:11:05.000 How many out there like it when comedians do good on this show?
02:11:08.000 And the crowd always goes like, woo!
02:11:11.000 And then I always go, how many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show?
02:11:14.000 And the place notoriously goes insane.
02:11:17.000 There's this huge roar.
02:11:18.000 And the cooler the city, the louder that roar is.
02:11:21.000 Like, I specifically remember Sydney, Australia was a big one.
02:11:24.000 Like, they couldn't believe we were there.
02:11:26.000 And they're part of this thing where they get to hear, you know.
02:11:30.000 And then Sydney guys get to go up, too, and girls.
02:11:32.000 Right.
02:11:33.000 And here's the other thing that makes it fun.
02:11:34.000 Like, both ways, it's great.
02:11:37.000 Like, if the comic does great, it's great.
02:11:40.000 Everybody laughs.
02:11:41.000 But if they bomb, there's professional comics ready to talk shit about it.
02:11:44.000 Yeah.
02:11:45.000 Which is maybe even better.
02:11:47.000 And if they bomb, you know, the interview lasts longer than their set.
02:11:50.000 That's only 60 seconds.
02:11:51.000 The interview can last up to, I've spent up to, if somebody's super interesting, I'll spend 15, 20 minutes with them.
02:11:58.000 Then we're just finding out about their life.
02:11:59.000 They're just a guest on a podcast.
02:12:01.000 That's interesting.
02:12:02.000 Do people get mad?
02:12:03.000 Fucking, I was waiting.
02:12:04.000 When did I drop?
02:12:05.000 No, no.
02:12:06.000 They know...
02:12:06.000 I got my fucking laser sharp 60 seconds.
02:12:09.000 Yeah, they know what's up.
02:12:11.000 They know that...
02:12:11.000 Because I'll only keep someone up there if it's super compelling.
02:12:15.000 We had this guy pulled out of a bucket two weeks ago that just came, not came down with, but has Lou Gehrig's disease and was doing comedy for 20 years.
02:12:25.000 And now he's like, come back to it and is, you know, he's...
02:12:29.000 He's got it, I don't know what the word is, pretty...
02:12:32.000 Intermission?
02:12:33.000 No, the opposite of that.
02:12:35.000 Oh, bad?
02:12:36.000 Yeah, he's got a strong case of it.
02:12:39.000 But he's utilizing it, and he's murdering.
02:12:44.000 And it's a perfect format for him.
02:12:46.000 Michael Lehrer, L-E-H... R-E-R, something like that.
02:12:50.000 I'm pretty sure that's his name.
02:12:52.000 And so at the end of his set, at the end of this amazing, compelling interview, I invite him back to come back the next week.
02:13:00.000 So last night, or Monday night, we had him back on, and I get nervous when I do things like this, because I'm like, man, I hope they have another minute.
02:13:07.000 I hope this interview goes as good as it does last time, because now I don't want to feel bad for them.
02:13:12.000 And man, smashing!
02:13:15.000 There he is, right there.
02:13:17.000 He doesn't want to come up on the stage because somebody would have to carry him and his entire body would jolt if he leaves the chair.
02:13:24.000 He said that last week someone hit him.
02:13:26.000 He's wearing the UFC fight gear.
02:13:28.000 He can't really tell from this angle, but he's wearing UFC intro.
02:13:31.000 You know what I mean?
02:13:32.000 Just the normal...
02:13:34.000 Warm-up gear, and he said it's because last week guys were hitting on his girlfriend slash nurse that comes with him.
02:13:42.000 So he's like, he wanted to let these motherfuckers know what's up.
02:13:46.000 So he's wearing UFC fight gear.
02:13:48.000 And he's been doing stand-up for 20 years?
02:13:50.000 He's been doing comedy for 20 years.
02:13:51.000 He started in Chicago at Second City, and I think he's only been doing stand-up like four or five.
02:13:57.000 But now he's really leaning into, he's utilizing this Lou Gehrig's disease, this ALS that really has a grasp on him, but he's really leaning into it.
02:14:07.000 He's talking about how he has sex with his girlfriend, but he can't do it any style other than on his back and all this stuff.
02:14:15.000 You've got to see him.
02:14:17.000 I'm not giving any of it any justice.
02:14:19.000 Lou Gehrig's disease is incurable, right?
02:14:22.000 Is it?
02:14:22.000 Yeah.
02:14:23.000 Yeah.
02:14:24.000 We have another girl from...
02:14:26.000 We found...
02:14:26.000 We did a show in North Carolina.
02:14:29.000 We pulled the name out of a bucket.
02:14:30.000 She gets carried up by these people.
02:14:32.000 A wheelchair comes in behind her.
02:14:33.000 They sit her down.
02:14:34.000 She was 16 years old.
02:14:37.000 Caroline Smith, I believe is her name.
02:14:39.000 And she was 16 at the time.
02:14:42.000 And she is a murderer.
02:14:45.000 She will be absolutely known by the world.
02:14:49.000 I think hers is...
02:14:51.000 It's cerebral palsy.
02:14:54.000 Again, a pretty strong case of it.
02:14:57.000 And we had her...
02:14:58.000 We do this thing called Kill Tony Mania where we have some...
02:15:01.000 It's just a big hoopla where I take a big van of people from down here up there every year in San Fran.
02:15:07.000 And she wanted to fly out, so she hit me up.
02:15:09.000 She's like, hey, I'm coming out.
02:15:11.000 I'm going to cash in on my golden ticket, which is something that people on the road can win where you can show up to any Kill Tony after that.
02:15:17.000 Only six people in the world have ever won it.
02:15:19.000 But if you get the golden ticket, that means that you killed so hard and your interview was so great and you're so interesting that you get to show up at any Kill Tony and do a minute wherever it's happening.
02:15:28.000 Wow.
02:15:28.000 That's a good idea.
02:15:31.000 Yeah.
02:15:32.000 So she cashed in.
02:15:33.000 She goes, I'm going to meet you in San Francisco.
02:15:35.000 And I go, okay, we'll keep it a secret, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:15:38.000 She's coming in with her family, this and that.
02:15:40.000 And that's another one where it's like, oh, man.
02:15:42.000 I wasn't nervous at all until right beforehand.
02:15:45.000 And I'm like, oh.
02:15:46.000 Boy, here we go.
02:15:47.000 This is a lot of pressure for who's now a 17 or 18 year old girl.
02:15:52.000 I'm talking about a murder.
02:15:53.000 The last thing she said to me was...
02:15:57.000 The last thing I said to her, or she said to me after I said goodbye that night, she's literally like, I just can't wait until August 21st, 2023 when I get to finally come to the comedy store and show these motherfuckers what's up.
02:16:11.000 I'm just like, wow, this is a real comedian.
02:16:14.000 From Raleigh, North Carolina.
02:16:16.000 Wow.
02:16:17.000 It's so exciting, the people that we get to find doing that show.
02:16:20.000 It's just something that I love.
02:16:22.000 Well, it's one of the best things for amateur comedians ever.
02:16:26.000 Like, literally.
02:16:27.000 You know, the word amateur is weird, right?
02:16:29.000 Starting out.
02:16:30.000 Beginning comedians, however.
02:16:32.000 Yeah.
02:16:33.000 And, you know, just people that are really good at it.
02:16:36.000 Preacher Lawson, we had right out of there.
02:16:39.000 Drew Lynch.
02:16:40.000 These guys all went on to win or place high on America's Got Talent.
02:16:45.000 These shows where they're sifting through everything to find talented people.
02:16:49.000 These are all guys that we were telling our monsters five, six years ago.
02:16:55.000 It's such a great idea to do on the road, too.
02:16:57.000 How long have you guys been doing that now?
02:16:59.000 A couple years?
02:17:00.000 Yeah.
02:17:01.000 Two years?
02:17:01.000 Yeah.
02:17:02.000 We've been taking it on the road.
02:17:03.000 Actually, it's been six and a half years.
02:17:05.000 We're going back to Columbus tomorrow night.
02:17:07.000 Six and a half years?
02:17:08.000 You were doing them on the road that long ago?
02:17:10.000 Yeah.
02:17:10.000 Well, we started at the store.
02:17:12.000 We almost immediately were doing them.
02:17:14.000 We did one in Columbus almost immediately after that.
02:17:17.000 Oh, see, I thought you maybe did, like, very rarely on the road until recently.
02:17:22.000 No, it started.
02:17:23.000 But recently you guys have ramped it up.
02:17:24.000 We've really, we've really ramped it up.
02:17:27.000 Internationally.
02:17:27.000 Yeah, we basically, like, doubled the amount of episodes that we've been doing by doing them on the road.
02:17:34.000 But we're going back to Columbus tomorrow, which was the first place we ever went with it.
02:17:39.000 And it's been a long time coming, this, like, return to Ohio and Pittsburgh.
02:17:43.000 Where are you playing?
02:17:44.000 The Newport Music Hall.
02:17:47.000 We're doing the House of Blues in Cleveland.
02:17:49.000 I think I did that place.
02:17:49.000 I think I did that place at one point in time.
02:17:52.000 Newport Music Hall.
02:17:54.000 That's an old place, right?
02:17:55.000 Yeah.
02:17:56.000 The Southern Theater I did when I was there, that place had Mae West and W.C. Fields had performed there.
02:18:03.000 Wow.
02:18:04.000 I know.
02:18:04.000 I was like, whoa.
02:18:06.000 It's a big one for us, though, because I'm from, of course, I'm originally from Youngstown, spent some time working and going to school in Columbus, and Red Band's from Columbus, so it's a big hoopla.
02:18:18.000 And Young Jamie.
02:18:19.000 That's right.
02:18:19.000 Also from Columbus.
02:18:20.000 Yes!
02:18:21.000 And the Illuminati, and the military-industry complex, and the underground bases with the aliens.
02:18:27.000 Columbus, Ohio.
02:18:28.000 Dude, it's a hub.
02:18:30.000 It's a hub for unusual things.
02:18:32.000 That's right.
02:18:33.000 The Wright brothers.
02:18:34.000 Yeah.
02:18:34.000 Just Ohio in general.
02:18:36.000 A lot of crazy shits come out of Ohio, son.
02:18:38.000 Yeah.
02:18:39.000 I'm doing Boom Boom Manzini's podcast on when I get to Youngstown.
02:18:42.000 Shut the fuck up.
02:18:43.000 Friday.
02:18:44.000 First thing I do when I get into Youngstown.
02:18:46.000 It's so surreal.
02:18:47.000 I don't even have any time to do it, really, because I have one day in town to visit my mother, who's in a different place than my father and my sister and my nephews.
02:18:56.000 And literally, like, Boom Boom hit me up.
02:18:58.000 He's like, any chance you're going to be in Youngstown?
02:19:00.000 Just message me.
02:19:01.000 It's So surreal.
02:19:02.000 So surreal.
02:19:04.000 What if he tries to fuck you?
02:19:06.000 I don't think you would.
02:19:08.000 Don't hit me.
02:19:08.000 Don't hit me.
02:19:09.000 I'm just joking.
02:19:09.000 I'm a comedian, sir.
02:19:11.000 I would have said it about a brother.
02:19:14.000 I would have said it about Tony's brother.
02:19:15.000 Let me just tell you that if you're from Youngstown and Boom Boom hits you up and invites you to do his podcast, you tell your mom and your dad that you're busy for an hour.
02:19:26.000 That's what you do.
02:19:27.000 He was doing Fox pay-per-view commentary real recently.
02:19:34.000 I think it was for the Deontay Wilder-Louis Ortiz fight.
02:19:39.000 He does commentary.
02:19:40.000 He works as an analyst.
02:19:42.000 He sits at the desk.
02:19:43.000 He's not doing the ringside commentary, but he sits at the desk.
02:19:46.000 He's a class act.
02:19:47.000 Great guy.
02:19:48.000 And where I grew up and how I grew up, you're taught that that's...
02:19:54.000 My mother and father spoke more highly of him than they did basically of God himself.
02:20:00.000 Like Boom Boom Mancini in Youngstown when I was growing up there was it.
02:20:05.000 That's what you want to be.
02:20:07.000 That's what you got to do.
02:20:09.000 Yeah, that was a town that was synonymous with Ray Mancini.
02:20:12.000 Like if you said Youngstown, Ohio, people would go Boom Boom Mancini.
02:20:16.000 Especially guys like my age.
02:20:17.000 Because when I was young, we used to watch them on ABC Wide World of Sports.
02:20:22.000 We used to watch them on TV. There was a big way that you would watch fights.
02:20:27.000 You'd watch them on television back then.
02:20:29.000 And I'm pretty sure Boom Boom fought Alexis Arguello.
02:20:33.000 Yeah, he did.
02:20:34.000 Unbelievable.
02:20:35.000 I'm pretty sure he fought him on ABC. Those fights, going back and watching them now, it's just absolutely insane.
02:20:42.000 These guys were hitting the hell out of each other.
02:20:45.000 Almost a totally different evolved sport, right?
02:20:48.000 So much more defense, I feel like, now.
02:20:51.000 Today?
02:20:52.000 No.
02:20:53.000 I think so.
02:20:53.000 It depends who you're watching fight.
02:20:55.000 Yeah.
02:20:55.000 I mean, if you're watching Deontay Wilder, it's people getting murked.
02:20:58.000 If you're watching Terrence Bud Crawford, it's someone intelligently picking somebody apart and then smashing them.
02:21:05.000 There's super high-level boxers today, man.
02:21:08.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.
02:21:09.000 I'm thinking more, I think, the accumulation of punches, especially since it was 15 rounds.
02:21:14.000 Well, you know, it stopped being 15 rounds because of Ray Mancini and Dukku Kim.
02:21:19.000 That was the fight that really was one of the major catalysts for them, reducing it to 12 rounds.
02:21:24.000 There's a good argument they should reduce it even further.
02:21:26.000 Some people think it would be better if all fights were five rounds like a world kickboxing fight.
02:21:32.000 That guys would just also fight harder.
02:21:34.000 They would just go after each other for five rounds.
02:21:37.000 It would definitely be more entertaining.
02:21:38.000 I wonder, man.
02:21:39.000 You know, it's like you want to see a good fight.
02:21:43.000 But do you want to see guys sort of pace themselves to try to fight 12 rounds?
02:21:51.000 Or do you want to see guys go ham for 6 rounds?
02:21:54.000 Like, what's better?
02:21:54.000 I don't know.
02:21:55.000 It's a good argument.
02:21:58.000 The best argument that I ever heard about fights is the one where Firas Ahabi was talking about the other day, and I agree with him 100%.
02:22:07.000 Why do you have a time limit?
02:22:09.000 Just start the fight.
02:22:11.000 Let's see what happens.
02:22:13.000 Let people figure out when to expend their energy.
02:22:17.000 Why is there breaks?
02:22:18.000 Why do you have breaks?
02:22:22.000 I mean, if we had it like the early days of the UFC, then you would really understand all the nuances of comedy.
02:22:30.000 You really can't sprint, because if you hurt someone and you don't take them out, you're going to get exhausted.
02:22:35.000 You blew all your energy out, and the fight goes on forever.
02:22:38.000 It goes on until somebody wins.
02:22:41.000 That's when you really find out what fighting is.
02:22:43.000 But if you're going to have boxing, like boxing, those rounds...
02:22:47.000 Like three minutes.
02:22:48.000 Three minute rounds with just your hands.
02:22:53.000 You can get a lot of action in there.
02:22:56.000 If you made that up to five, six rounds.
02:22:58.000 But I don't know.
02:22:59.000 It's nothing wrong.
02:23:01.000 It's also a great thing seeing someone slowly figure somebody out over five, six rounds and then start working them in the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth and get a knockout in the eleventh or something like that.
02:23:10.000 It's always interesting to see someone break someone's style down, figure them out, impose their will, and then also see their conditioning as the fight goes on, their superior conditioning play out.
02:23:22.000 There's some guys that just fucking don't get tired, man.
02:23:25.000 Those are the ones that I love, especially in UFC. Nate, Colby, Ioana.
02:23:32.000 Colby's a big one.
02:23:33.000 Colby and Usman this weekend, that's a big one.
02:23:36.000 That's a big one with two guys with enormous gas tanks.
02:23:39.000 What a fascinating fight that is to me.
02:23:41.000 Because people want to pretend Colby can't fight.
02:23:45.000 I know, right?
02:23:46.000 When someone's a bad guy, it sways everything in their reasonable, rational mind.
02:23:53.000 It's so crazy.
02:23:53.000 Watching what he did to Robbie Lawler makes someone so undeniable that it's ridiculous.
02:23:58.000 People are still in denial.
02:24:00.000 They're in less denial, though, than they would be.
02:24:02.000 They're in less denial than they would be.
02:24:04.000 It's a real problem.
02:24:05.000 He's a real problem.
02:24:06.000 Because that style of shit-talking is infuriating.
02:24:12.000 And you can't say a goddamn thing to him because he's in a character.
02:24:16.000 So if he pisses you off...
02:24:18.000 You say something back to him.
02:24:20.000 Yeah, why don't you go suck Trump's dick?
02:24:22.000 You'd be like, I would.
02:24:23.000 Mr. Trump's a good man.
02:24:24.000 I bet his dick tastes like lollipops.
02:24:26.000 He can say whatever he wants.
02:24:28.000 Colby gets it, man.
02:24:29.000 Listen.
02:24:30.000 He gets it.
02:24:30.000 He's full old school Ric Flair with a new style twist.
02:24:35.000 And he's a real fighter, man.
02:24:37.000 He's a real fighter.
02:24:37.000 He's absolutely one of the best welterweights in the world.
02:24:40.000 And this is a very, very close fight.
02:24:42.000 But Kamaru Usman...
02:24:44.000 He's a tank of a man.
02:24:46.000 He's a spectacular athlete.
02:24:48.000 He's got big power.
02:24:50.000 I mean, he only has, I think, a couple knockouts in his career, but it's because he's learned how to kickbox after he learned how to wrestle.
02:24:59.000 He was an elite wrestler.
02:25:00.000 But he does put people away, and he hurt Tyron Woodley, and he beat him standing.
02:25:05.000 And Tyron is a fan.
02:25:06.000 I don't think Tyron was at his best in that fight.
02:25:09.000 I think there were some issues that Tyron had.
02:25:11.000 But it doesn't take anything away from Usman.
02:25:13.000 Usman's been running through competition.
02:25:15.000 He has one loss in his career, 15 wins.
02:25:19.000 He talks about the loss on the podcast.
02:25:21.000 He just got caught in a rear naked choke, got tapped, made a mistake.
02:25:24.000 It happens.
02:25:25.000 Didn't know jiu-jitsu that well.
02:25:27.000 But as an elite wrestler who's transitioned to become a world-class mixed martial arts fighter, you don't get much better.
02:25:35.000 He was scared.
02:25:36.000 Or he was scary, rather.
02:25:37.000 Everybody was scared of him.
02:25:38.000 Nobody wanted to fight him.
02:25:39.000 Everybody was ducking him.
02:25:41.000 You never heard anybody call out Kamaru Usman when he was running through competition.
02:25:45.000 Everybody was like, you know what?
02:25:47.000 This fucking guy and that fight.
02:25:49.000 They get to Usman and be like, no, no, no.
02:25:51.000 He seems like a nice guy.
02:25:54.000 I don't want to fight him.
02:25:55.000 Colby's my favorite thing to watch right now.
02:25:57.000 I think he's just so...
02:25:59.000 I think he really gets so many aspects of the basic part of this sport.
02:26:05.000 Endurance, learn, train, and be entertaining.
02:26:08.000 Dude, have you seen his new suit?
02:26:10.000 No.
02:26:11.000 He's got an orange one now.
02:26:12.000 And he brings that Donald Trump Jr. book everywhere he goes.
02:26:15.000 I love it.
02:26:16.000 He's got an orange suit, just as gross as the blue one.
02:26:19.000 It is goddamn hilarious.
02:26:22.000 There's photos of him at the press conference with an orange suit.
02:26:24.000 Bro, he is...
02:26:25.000 Look at that.
02:26:26.000 Look at his orange suit.
02:26:27.000 It looks like it costs less than the blue suit.
02:26:30.000 I didn't think that was possible.
02:26:31.000 I mean, he's a fucking genius.
02:26:33.000 Listen, man.
02:26:33.000 This guy, let me mark my words.
02:26:35.000 When this guy is done fighting, he will be a huge pro wrestling star.
02:26:40.000 Oh, yeah.
02:26:40.000 Fucking huge.
02:26:41.000 And he might do it quick.
02:26:43.000 How about that?
02:26:44.000 If he wins, if that guy wins, and maybe he fights Masvidal, maybe he fights one more time, he goes right into pro wrestling.
02:26:52.000 And he may cha-cha-ching!
02:26:53.000 And what's crazy is that I've been pitching, we do a wrestling podcast at the Comedy Store, and I've been pitching for years now.
02:27:00.000 That's right.
02:27:00.000 I'm going to read the book!
02:27:01.000 He's sitting at the press conference reading Donald Trump Jr.'s book!
02:27:04.000 And I've been pitching for years that the WWE is missing out on having this pro-Trump, super bad guy character, and then Colby comes out of nowhere and does it in real life in the UFC. And they still haven't done it in WWE. You can't call him a joke.
02:27:20.000 Because he smashes Robbie Lawler.
02:27:22.000 He smashes Rafael Dos Anjos.
02:27:24.000 You watch him fight like, oh my god, this guy's a fucking beast.
02:27:27.000 A record-setting performance against Robbie Lawler.
02:27:30.000 500-some punches landed.
02:27:32.000 Not just that.
02:27:33.000 He mostly beat him standing up.
02:27:35.000 It was mostly a stand-up fight.
02:27:37.000 And he is the guy that you thought of as the wrestler.
02:27:40.000 And Robbie's the elite striker.
02:27:41.000 He's a former world champion.
02:27:43.000 And Kobe ran him over.
02:27:44.000 It wasn't even a close fight.
02:27:45.000 And all this promo stuff that he does, how good he is at that, it's because he wants to be.
02:27:50.000 It's because he's a learner.
02:27:51.000 He came and saw me perform at the Improv in Florida, West Palm Beach.
02:27:58.000 And afterwards, we were in the green room, and he's like, you know, I learned a lot about timing and beats from watching you up there tonight.
02:28:05.000 Getting those, you know what I mean?
02:28:06.000 How you get these laughs using your timing and your pauses in this.
02:28:10.000 I need to do more of that.
02:28:11.000 I'm like, yeah, dude, exactly!
02:28:14.000 It's so cool to watch a guy that's, you know, while being on top of a big business, I feel like a lot of people, you know, their egos, this and that, or it's just about the fight game, you know.
02:28:24.000 No, he's not about that at all.
02:28:25.000 Right.
02:28:25.000 But it's a genius pursuit.
02:28:27.000 And, you know, he has openly now said it.
02:28:30.000 We talked about it on the podcast, but he's saying it now.
02:28:32.000 He did it on the Candace Owens show.
02:28:34.000 He's like, they were going to cut him.
02:28:35.000 They were going to cut him.
02:28:35.000 They told him that his style wasn't fan friendly.
02:28:38.000 And so he beats Damien Mai in Brazil and calls him a bunch of filthy animals.
02:28:43.000 Everybody goes crazy.
02:28:44.000 And they're like, oh, hold on a second.
02:28:45.000 We might have something here.
02:28:46.000 So he talked about it on the podcast.
02:28:48.000 Like, look, I got to do something.
02:28:49.000 My career is in jeopardy.
02:28:50.000 Like, I'm going to create a character.
02:28:51.000 So he created this character.
02:28:53.000 Like, I've called his fights before.
02:28:54.000 I called his fights early in his career.
02:28:56.000 Before that, he was just a really tough guy who had a great gas tank who I knew from my friend Cam Haynes.
02:29:02.000 He trains with Cam Haynes.
02:29:03.000 Right.
02:29:03.000 So just imagine the kind of gas tank this motherfucker must have.
02:29:06.000 If you do anything with Cam Haynes, you have to have a crazy gas tank.
02:29:09.000 Well, that's the scary thing about him, right?
02:29:11.000 It's almost like, again, it's like a pro wrestling character already.
02:29:14.000 It's like, oh, you don't know?
02:29:16.000 Even if you don't somehow find a way to finish it, You're stuck in rounds four and five now.
02:29:24.000 It's always going to be championship rounds now with this guy, and you're going to be stuck in there with him.
02:29:29.000 Yeah, if you can't take him out in one, two, or three, and you can't maintain that pace, and if you try to take him out and you emptied your gas tank, he never empties his gas tank.
02:29:37.000 And the thing is about his style, this thing that he's doing, not his style, but his promotion style with the cheap suits and the fucking book, you think it's a joke.
02:29:46.000 Yeah.
02:29:47.000 But then you watch his fights.
02:29:48.000 If you didn't have any information about him and his character and you just watch his fights, you'd be like, fuck, man, this guy's driven.
02:29:55.000 This guy's fucking driven.
02:29:57.000 Yeah.
02:29:57.000 But then you add into that this character, and everybody's pretending, you know, that, oh, that guy's a joke, that guy's a joke.
02:30:04.000 That joke, he's running over everybody.
02:30:06.000 Everybody.
02:30:07.000 Just because you don't like Trump.
02:30:09.000 Yeah.
02:30:09.000 And this is, like, it's a genius thing to attach himself to Trump.
02:30:13.000 Right.
02:30:13.000 And what's interesting is, like, even fighters that maybe have paid more dues and maybe are more respected, like...
02:30:31.000 Yeah.
02:30:43.000 And the roars and the cheers and the hoopla and everything was every time he talked.
02:30:48.000 Dude, we had a good time just sitting there watching it from the sidelines.
02:30:50.000 Wow!
02:30:51.000 It was great!
02:30:51.000 Insane!
02:30:52.000 What we're seeing is a master class in promotion and adaptation.
02:30:58.000 He adapted.
02:30:59.000 He created this character.
02:31:01.000 And this character is, it's so obviously a character, but it doesn't matter.
02:31:06.000 It doesn't matter.
02:31:07.000 I mean, it's so obvious.
02:31:07.000 He's not wearing that suit on purpose, like he thinks it's good looking.
02:31:10.000 No.
02:31:11.000 He's trying to be a dork.
02:31:13.000 He's trying to be a pro-Trump dork.
02:31:15.000 Like, if I was Trump, I'd be a little annoyed.
02:31:17.000 I'd be like, hey man, I see what the fuck you're doing.
02:31:22.000 You're making yourself look like a goof because you support me.
02:31:25.000 Please tell me you're following Colby on Instagram, right?
02:31:29.000 Of course I am.
02:31:29.000 Oh, the best.
02:31:30.000 The videos with the girls where he just comes out with his hands on their butts.
02:31:33.000 Hey, losers.
02:31:35.000 Hey, nerds.
02:31:37.000 It's straight up pro wrestling and super high level pro wrestling promos that you shoot.
02:31:45.000 Look at this.
02:31:46.000 He's got a Trump hat on, stand in front of Trump Towers.
02:31:49.000 It's...
02:31:50.000 And the style even matches it too, right?
02:31:52.000 Because if he was just a quick round one knockout artist, almost like, you know, sort of like McGregor-esque, right?
02:31:58.000 I still don't think it works as well as a guy that has a never-ending gas tank.
02:32:02.000 Never-ending gas tank.
02:32:04.000 And can take a tremendous shot too.
02:32:06.000 He's a nightmare for everybody in the division.
02:32:09.000 Colby Covington is a fucking nightmare because he seems like he's playing...
02:32:15.000 He's doing these promos with all these girls in bikinis.
02:32:19.000 He's fucking reading Donald Trump Jr.'s book.
02:32:22.000 He's making it seem like he's a goof.
02:32:26.000 And you don't notice along the way that this guy's stomping world class fighters.
02:32:32.000 I mean, stomping them.
02:32:34.000 He's fucking amazing.
02:32:36.000 What he's done is, it's like a master class in promotion for all the young fighters coming up.
02:32:42.000 I don't necessarily think everybody should do what he's doing.
02:32:45.000 Right.
02:32:46.000 But if I was in his camp, I was one of his friends, I would for sure be cheering it on.
02:32:53.000 It's hilarious.
02:32:55.000 It's hilarious.
02:32:56.000 And everybody's mad at him.
02:32:59.000 And it goes two ways, right?
02:33:02.000 Even the people that are mad at him are still sort of laughing.
02:33:06.000 And you can usually catch them laughing while booing, in between booing.
02:33:10.000 That's why the suit is so genius.
02:33:12.000 See, he didn't have to do the suit.
02:33:13.000 The suit is the fucking...
02:33:16.000 Piece de resistance.
02:33:17.000 Because why else would he wear that fucking suit?
02:33:20.000 Here's what's genius about the suit.
02:33:23.000 It's a terrible suit.
02:33:24.000 It's literally one of the suits from Dumb and Dumber.
02:33:26.000 That orange suit is the one that Jeff Daniels or Jim Carrey, one of them has.
02:33:31.000 Almost.
02:33:32.000 Close enough.
02:33:33.000 But they're gross.
02:33:34.000 That's the point.
02:33:35.000 It's like he's doing that on purpose.
02:33:37.000 He's got money.
02:33:38.000 He's fighting for the title.
02:33:40.000 He's made money.
02:33:41.000 Right?
02:33:42.000 He Jeff Daniels suit!
02:33:48.000 Oh my god, that's so silly.
02:33:49.000 It almost is.
02:33:50.000 It almost is.
02:33:51.000 Now go back to Colby.
02:33:52.000 Those are like the two suits that he owns.
02:33:54.000 Go back to Colby's suit.
02:33:56.000 He doesn't have that suit in the...
02:33:59.000 Oh, it's just the recent one.
02:34:01.000 The blue one.
02:34:02.000 He doesn't have the orange one on his Instagram.
02:34:03.000 He's slipping.
02:34:05.000 He's only got the blue one.
02:34:07.000 Oh, it's so funny.
02:34:08.000 But here's the thing, man.
02:34:09.000 At the end of the day, Kamaru Usman is a nightmare for every fucking living human being that's 170 pounds.
02:34:16.000 Go back to that real quick.
02:34:18.000 Look at that.
02:34:20.000 We need to get him that top hat.
02:34:22.000 Kamaru Usman is a nightmare for every living human that's 170 pounds.
02:34:25.000 And if I wanted to see him fight a guy that I thought presented a bunch of unique challenges, I would say Colby.
02:34:32.000 Because Colby has a great wrestling pedigree, fantastic takedown defense, he can wrestle his ass off, his cardio's never-ending.
02:34:40.000 We saw in the Robbie Lawler fight, he puts pressure on you, lands ridiculous strikes, can stand in there against one of the elite strikers ever in the welterweight division in Robbie Lawler.
02:34:50.000 So, like, forget all the Trump bullshit.
02:34:52.000 Forget all the character bullshit.
02:34:54.000 He almost should have a name for that guy.
02:34:57.000 But put that aside, just stylistically.
02:35:02.000 Stylistically, it's one of the best matchups you're ever going to find for Usman.
02:35:06.000 Because you want to see whether or not Usman can catch him and hurt him.
02:35:11.000 You're going to see whether or not Colby can outmaneuver him and outpace him.
02:35:16.000 You're going to see whether or not Colby can put that kind of pressure on him the way he put it on Robbie.
02:35:20.000 And you're going to see, because you know Usman watched that fight for sure.
02:35:24.000 And I think...
02:35:26.000 Robby was training out of American Top Team initially and then left American Top Team to go somewhere else.
02:35:34.000 You don't have to change that.
02:35:35.000 I'm positive of this.
02:35:36.000 Robby left American Top Team.
02:35:38.000 So that was another thing that Colby was shitting on him for leaving American Top Team and gotten Robby's head a little bit from that.
02:35:45.000 He was really ruthless about it.
02:35:47.000 Kamaru Usman came from the Black Zillions, which was the rival team across town.
02:35:53.000 And now he's with Henry Hooft and I don't know what camp.
02:35:57.000 They're calling the camp now.
02:35:58.000 They changed it.
02:36:01.000 Find out what camp Kamaru Usman's out of.
02:36:03.000 It's essentially Henry Hooft and all the other.
02:36:06.000 But Henry Hooft is the kickboxing guy who's with the Black Zillions.
02:36:11.000 But either way, he's got Michael Chandler there.
02:36:14.000 They're showing videos of him and Chandler training.
02:36:17.000 Luke Rockhold was there.
02:36:18.000 Super high-level guys there.
02:36:20.000 So it's two phenomenal camps.
02:36:22.000 Everything lines up perfect.
02:36:24.000 You've got this guy in Usman who's just been steamrolling everybody.
02:36:28.000 You've got a guy in Colby, steamrolling everybody.
02:36:31.000 What do you got?
02:36:33.000 Doesn't say?
02:36:33.000 Anyway, I know he's with...
02:36:36.000 I know he's with Henry Hooft, who's one of the best kickboxing coaches, kickboxing instructors in all of MMA. He's just phenomenal.
02:36:44.000 It's just a great fight, man.
02:36:46.000 It's just a great fight.
02:36:47.000 Everything about it's great.
02:36:48.000 Everything about it's great.
02:36:50.000 It's crazy.
02:36:51.000 When did you grow Ioana fighting?
02:36:53.000 Her next one is...
02:36:55.000 Did they announce it for January?
02:36:57.000 I feel like I know it, but I don't.
02:36:59.000 I think she's fighting Wei Li Zhang.
02:37:01.000 I think she's fighting for the title.
02:37:03.000 Sun...
02:37:03.000 Did they announce it?
02:37:04.000 Yeah.
02:37:05.000 April fight, maybe?
02:37:06.000 Uh-huh, April.
02:37:07.000 Oh, that'll be in New York.
02:37:09.000 New York, big city of dreams, but everything in New York ain't always what it seems.
02:37:12.000 There you go.
02:37:14.000 Is that what it says?
02:37:15.000 It doesn't say?
02:37:17.000 It's Zhang Weiling.
02:37:19.000 You have to say it backwards now.
02:37:20.000 For a while, we're saying Weili Zhang, but now it's Zhang Weiling.
02:37:24.000 No return.
02:37:26.000 Yeah.
02:37:27.000 I'm pretty sure she's fighting that.
02:37:28.000 I thought we found it.
02:37:29.000 I don't know if they announced it.
02:37:31.000 I'm pretty sure they did.
02:37:32.000 Maybe I just know some shit.
02:37:34.000 I do work for them, bro.
02:37:35.000 Oh.
02:37:36.000 Okay.
02:37:37.000 Well, you let me know the date as soon as you know so that I can...
02:37:40.000 You gonna go?
02:37:40.000 Cheer her on?
02:37:40.000 Of course.
02:37:41.000 I don't miss Ioana.
02:37:42.000 Well, I did miss one Ioana.
02:37:44.000 When I started missing Ioana fights is when...
02:37:46.000 She started losing.
02:37:47.000 Yeah.
02:37:47.000 Do you think that's what it is?
02:37:48.000 It's like you not being there?
02:37:49.000 We know for a fact that's what it is.
02:37:51.000 You force of energy.
02:37:52.000 Absolutely.
02:37:52.000 She wins when I'm there.
02:37:53.000 Is it sexual or is it just powerful?
02:37:55.000 Yeah.
02:37:56.000 Is it both?
02:37:57.000 What kind of energy are you putting out there?
02:38:00.000 Big dick energy?
02:38:01.000 I mean it's the only kind of energy I got bro.
02:38:05.000 What else is up on this card?
02:38:07.000 When do you want to come to a UFC again?
02:38:09.000 Do you want to go to that one in April?
02:38:11.000 Yeah.
02:38:11.000 Come to Brooklyn.
02:38:12.000 Absolutely.
02:38:13.000 So Max Holloway and Volkanovski is very interesting.
02:38:16.000 Very, very, very interesting because Volkanovski is a tank of a man.
02:38:21.000 He has a phenomenal gas tank.
02:38:23.000 He puts people away.
02:38:24.000 He puts tremendous pressure on guys.
02:38:27.000 But...
02:38:29.000 Max Holloway's the GOAT. He's the GOAT. He's the greatest featherweight of all time.
02:38:33.000 And Volkanovski, they have a common opponent in Jose Aldo.
02:38:37.000 Volkanovski, he beat Aldo, smothered him, beat him by decision.
02:38:44.000 Max Holloway's destroyed him.
02:38:46.000 Max Holloway's destroyed Aldo.
02:38:47.000 Twice.
02:38:48.000 And Aldo is another GOAT. I mean, Aldo's one of the greatest featherweights of all time, man.
02:38:55.000 And now Aldo's fighting Marlon Marais.
02:38:57.000 This is his first fight at bantamweight.
02:38:59.000 People were very concerned.
02:39:00.000 That's up?
02:39:01.000 No, down.
02:39:03.000 135. Aldo went down?
02:39:04.000 He went to 35, son.
02:39:06.000 Oh no.
02:39:06.000 Dude, he looks terrible.
02:39:07.000 Yeah, that's no bueno, man.
02:39:09.000 You ever see what he looks like?
02:39:10.000 See, Aldo looks gaunt preparing for 135. There's photos of him wandering around with his shirt off and stuff.
02:39:18.000 I shouldn't say wandering around.
02:39:19.000 I'm just saying hanging around.
02:39:21.000 And you see what he looks like.
02:39:23.000 There's the photos from his Instagram.
02:39:25.000 Dude, he's super, super skinny.
02:39:29.000 Look how skinny he looks.
02:39:30.000 Look at that right there.
02:39:31.000 It's crazy.
02:39:32.000 So he did it slowly, though.
02:39:33.000 Look how skinny he is, man.
02:39:35.000 The thing about it, though, is that he did it slowly.
02:39:37.000 So he lost the weight on purpose slowly over a long period of time.
02:39:42.000 Instead of just dehydrating the fuck out of himself and dropping down from 165 to 135, what he did was drop his body weight pretty significantly.
02:39:52.000 He looks quite a bit thinner than he used before, so he prepared for it over the long haul and got accustomed to being a lighter person.
02:39:59.000 If you're gonna do that, that's the way to do that.
02:40:02.000 The difference between dehydrating the shit out of yourself and just losing weight.
02:40:05.000 But even at 135 there, I'm in a wonder.
02:40:09.000 You take a hard punch to the head, it's just easier to go out.
02:40:13.000 Maybe, but maybe not, because he's doing it correctly.
02:40:17.000 So he's not going to be dehydrated.
02:40:19.000 T.J. Dillashaw was the big example of where someone goes too far.
02:40:24.000 When he went down to 125 pounds, he looked like death.
02:40:28.000 He looked terrible.
02:40:30.000 Yeah.
02:40:31.000 And Brendan actually called it.
02:40:33.000 Schaub called it.
02:40:33.000 He was saying, I bet he took it because TJ got busted for EPO. He goes, I bet he took it because he couldn't train.
02:40:38.000 I bet he was too exhausted to train.
02:40:41.000 And that's pretty much what he said.
02:40:43.000 He just didn't have any energy.
02:40:44.000 It was much harder than they thought physically on him.
02:40:47.000 You're basically starving to death.
02:40:48.000 If you're dropping down, TJ probably walks around the 160s or something, and then he's getting down to...
02:40:55.000 45, that's rough.
02:40:57.000 35 is rough.
02:40:58.000 I used to do it in high school wrestling.
02:41:00.000 The thing I remember the most is having trouble not swallowing the toothpaste and water in my mouth while brushing my teeth before those things.
02:41:10.000 You literally, when it hits your tongue, your body naturally wants to, yeah.
02:41:15.000 It wants anything.
02:41:16.000 It starts the process itself.
02:41:18.000 See, TJ's look thick like a Snickers there.
02:41:21.000 Yeah.
02:41:23.000 Thicker than a snicker.
02:41:24.000 He's probably, in that picture, he's probably in the high 50s.
02:41:27.000 Yeah, look at him.
02:41:27.000 He looks like Christian Bale's Dick Cheney in that picture.
02:41:31.000 I don't know.
02:41:31.000 You can still see his six-packs.
02:41:33.000 I'm kidding.
02:41:33.000 I'm kidding.
02:41:34.000 That's so ridiculous.
02:41:36.000 But he's with Archuleta, Rampage, Raymond Daniels, who's a world champion kickboxer.
02:41:43.000 Is that Louie Anderson in the middle there?
02:41:45.000 You son of a bitch.
02:41:47.000 Son of a bitch.
02:41:49.000 I think that's Rampage's guy.
02:41:51.000 I don't know who that is.
02:41:53.000 What I was saying, the weight cutting for Aldo just makes me scared.
02:42:02.000 What else is on the card?
02:42:05.000 Amanda Nunes is fighting Jermaine Durandamy.
02:42:07.000 This is a fight that people are not talking about.
02:42:11.000 This is a very interesting fight.
02:42:13.000 Because Jermaine Duran to me, she's lost a couple of times.
02:42:17.000 She's lost three times in MMA. She got submitted earlier on in her career.
02:42:22.000 But she's much better now at takedown defense.
02:42:24.000 But as a fighter, like as a kickboxer, she's a multiple-time world champion kickboxer.
02:42:30.000 Super legit striker.
02:42:32.000 We played a video yesterday of her knocking out a man.
02:42:34.000 She had a boxing match.
02:42:36.000 Just boxing.
02:42:36.000 With a man.
02:42:37.000 And fucking flatlined him with a punch.
02:42:39.000 She's a beast, man.
02:42:42.000 Yeah, I will never doubt Nunes.
02:42:46.000 Never!
02:42:46.000 Ever in a million years.
02:42:48.000 That's the GOAT. Yep.
02:42:49.000 That's the number one woman of all time.
02:42:52.000 Without a doubt.
02:42:53.000 Without a doubt.
02:42:53.000 What a monster.
02:42:55.000 And you know what, man?
02:42:56.000 If she went up to boxing...
02:42:59.000 Like, I mean, Claressa Shields is a bigger woman, and Claressa fights at 165, and she's better with her hands.
02:43:06.000 I mean, Claressa is a fantastic boxer.
02:43:08.000 You ever watch her videos of her training and fighting?
02:43:13.000 Amanda?
02:43:14.000 No, Claressa Shields.
02:43:15.000 Claressa Shields is someone who trained a little bit with Cyborg.
02:43:18.000 There was some, like, heavy-duty sparring with her and Cyborg leading up to some of Cyborg's fights, because she's as big as Cyborg.
02:43:24.000 She's big.
02:43:24.000 But all natural.
02:43:26.000 You know, and...
02:43:28.000 She might be too big for Amanda.
02:43:31.000 She's like 20 pounds larger.
02:43:33.000 At 45. I think she's a 65 pound champion.
02:43:36.000 But like Amanda fought someone who couldn't punch like that.
02:43:40.000 If she fought someone that was just like a really good boxer, that's a woman that's also 135 pounds.
02:43:47.000 Bro, she might put him on the moon.
02:43:49.000 That lady can punch so hard.
02:43:51.000 And she can box.
02:43:52.000 Like, she might not be boxing like a world champion boxer because she's adding in takedowns and kicks and this and that and all these different things.
02:43:58.000 But when you just come to a woman throwing bombs with her hands, she knows how to hit you on the fucking chin.
02:44:06.000 And her power is extraordinary.
02:44:09.000 Amanda Nunes' power is extraordinary.
02:44:11.000 Her fight with Cyborg, those knockdowns, like holy shit.
02:44:17.000 She's standing in the pocket with a woman that no one wants to fight.
02:44:20.000 In fact, a woman that Jermaine Durandamy, she gave up her title.
02:44:25.000 She's like, nah, I'm good.
02:44:28.000 You can have it.
02:44:29.000 You can keep that money.
02:44:30.000 Fuck you.
02:44:31.000 She's like, I'm not fighting that lady.
02:44:33.000 Fuck you.
02:44:34.000 She gave up her title.
02:44:36.000 So she's never fought Cyborg?
02:44:38.000 Nope.
02:44:39.000 Not interested.
02:44:39.000 Who did I watch her lose to?
02:44:41.000 Holly Holm?
02:44:42.000 No.
02:44:43.000 You should have watched her lose to Holly Holm.
02:44:45.000 But they gave her the decision.
02:44:47.000 I thought Holly Holm won the fight.
02:44:48.000 And I also thought they should have taken a point away from Durandamy.
02:44:51.000 Because Durandamy cracked her twice after the bell.
02:44:53.000 And one of them was pretty significant.
02:44:55.000 She stunned her.
02:44:56.000 Yeah, I remember.
02:44:56.000 She hit her after the bell twice.
02:44:58.000 And also, Holly dropped her twice.
02:45:00.000 Holly dropped her with a question mark kick, and Holly also dropped her with a straight left hand.
02:45:05.000 I felt like Holly did more damage.
02:45:06.000 I feel like those two things, those knockdowns, were big, significant moments in the fight, and she never did that to Holly.
02:45:12.000 And then on top of that, Holly should have gotten a point because of that punch after the bell.
02:45:18.000 It was like twice, two different times she got struck after the bell.
02:45:22.000 So in my eyes, Holly should have won that fight.
02:45:25.000 I thought she won anyway.
02:45:26.000 I thought she won because of the knockdowns.
02:45:28.000 I'm like, you look at that, these significant moments where the other fighter got rocked, that means a lot to me.
02:45:35.000 When someone gets dropped with a punch, like hurt, that's a big moment.
02:45:39.000 It's not counting enough in some cases.
02:45:42.000 People are counting the overall round with things that are kind of even too much.
02:45:48.000 But there's also other good fights on that card.
02:45:51.000 Marlon Marais Jr., Jose Aldo, Pietra Jan, and Uriah Faber.
02:45:56.000 That's a fucking dangerous fight for Faber.
02:46:00.000 I think you say Piotra.
02:46:02.000 Piotra Jan.
02:46:03.000 People used to say Peter, but it's obviously, there's no E. It's P-E-T-R. It's like Fedor.
02:46:09.000 Do you know Fedor Milenenko?
02:46:10.000 That's not his name.
02:46:12.000 His name is Fyodor.
02:46:13.000 Oh.
02:46:14.000 Yeah.
02:46:15.000 So everybody calls him Fedor, and you're like, well, it's too late.
02:46:19.000 The Return of the Immortal.
02:46:20.000 Matt Brown.
02:46:21.000 Ben Saunders.
02:46:22.000 Woo!
02:46:23.000 Another Columbus, Ohio guy right there.
02:46:25.000 Savages.
02:46:25.000 Both guys.
02:46:27.000 Ben Saunders got a sneaky-ass guard, too.
02:46:29.000 First ever Oma Plata ever in the UFC. That guy.
02:46:33.000 So it's a lot of great shit, man.
02:46:35.000 This weekend.
02:46:36.000 So when are you going to come?
02:46:37.000 Oh, that's right.
02:46:38.000 Jeff Neal and Mike Perry.
02:46:39.000 Oh, goody!
02:46:41.000 That's going to be chaos, too.
02:46:43.000 When are you coming again?
02:46:43.000 April?
02:46:44.000 Yeah.
02:46:45.000 Unless something crazy happens.
02:46:46.000 Yoana.
02:46:47.000 I don't like to miss Yoana, and I don't like to miss Nate Diaz.
02:46:50.000 Yeah, you need some sort of fan, like a t-shirt or something like that.
02:46:56.000 For?
02:46:57.000 Like a heart with Yoana inside.
02:46:59.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.
02:47:00.000 Maybe, right?
02:47:01.000 Yeah.
02:47:01.000 Maybe a heart, just a heart with Yoana with her dukes up.
02:47:04.000 Yeah.
02:47:05.000 I tried to get one of the Joanna Yen-Jacek warm-up jackets sent to me.
02:47:09.000 I have to follow up with that guy.
02:47:10.000 He sent me an email, I think.
02:47:12.000 You gotta order that, Chet.
02:47:13.000 You can't ask those Reebok people to hook you up.
02:47:14.000 No, I did.
02:47:15.000 They told me.
02:47:16.000 They forget, man.
02:47:17.000 I know, you're right.
02:47:18.000 I'll just get it on my own.
02:47:19.000 Was it an after party?
02:47:20.000 Was everybody drunk?
02:47:21.000 No, it was one of the weigh-ins.
02:47:23.000 They're like, ah, we want to get that for you.
02:47:24.000 Because I'm like, you know where I can go buy it?
02:47:26.000 Because I wanted to buy it before our last fight.
02:47:28.000 I'm like, you know where I can go buy one?
02:47:29.000 They're like, we're not going to let you buy one.
02:47:31.000 We'll give it to you.
02:47:32.000 Yeah, dude, if you come to the fights in April, you have to wear that the entire weekend.
02:47:36.000 For sure.
02:47:36.000 Oh, yeah.
02:47:37.000 Everywhere we go.
02:47:38.000 Yeah.
02:47:38.000 Okay.
02:47:39.000 It's on.
02:47:39.000 I'll wear it on stage if we do shows.
02:47:41.000 I'll wear it anywhere.
02:47:42.000 All right.
02:47:43.000 Let's wrap this up.
02:47:43.000 Dude, we've been having a lot of fun on the road, though.
02:47:45.000 Yeah.
02:47:46.000 This has been great.
02:47:47.000 Texas was amazing.
02:47:48.000 Phoenix was amazing.
02:47:50.000 Dallas and Houston.
02:47:51.000 We've been having some fun, man.
02:47:52.000 That's right, it is.
02:47:54.000 You're supposed to say Zhang Weili now versus Ioannion Jacek, targeted for UFC 248, which is Brooklyn.
02:48:02.000 All right.
02:48:03.000 Woo!
02:48:04.000 That girl's a monster too, man.
02:48:06.000 Wei Li is a beast.
02:48:08.000 She's so good, man.
02:48:10.000 You know, the way she took out Jessica Andrade.
02:48:11.000 Jessica Andrade was a tank.
02:48:13.000 And she KO'd her.
02:48:14.000 Just flatlined her.
02:48:15.000 Beat the shit out of her in the first round.
02:48:17.000 I was like, woo!
02:48:18.000 There's only two people that have Ioana's number.
02:48:20.000 That's Rose and me.
02:48:23.000 We'll end on that.
02:48:27.000 Tony Hinchcliffe.
02:48:28.000 Follow him on the Instagram and on the Twitter.
02:48:32.000 Kill Tony.
02:48:34.000 Available on YouTube.
02:48:36.000 It's available on...
02:48:37.000 Streams every Monday.
02:48:38.000 We're touring all around.
02:48:39.000 Everywhere.
02:48:40.000 TonyHinchcliffe.com.
02:48:41.000 TonyHinchcliffe.com.
02:48:42.000 Bye, everybody.
02:48:46.000 That was fun.
02:48:47.000 That was great, man.