The Joe Rogan Experience - December 21, 2019


Joe Rogan Experience #1404 - Bryan Callen


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours

Words per Minute

199.0894

Word Count

36,002

Sentence Count

4,229

Misogynist Sentences

91

Hate Speech Sentences

85


Summary

On this week's episode of the podcast, the boys discuss a variety of topics, including: Brian's first taste of turmeric coffee Joe Rogan's recent trip to the ER The difference between testosterone and testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) What does it take to get jacked at 55? Why is it so important to have a good sauna every day How much sleep do you need to stay jacked? How often should you go to the bathroom? What are the best foods to eat to keep your body happy and healthy? Why should you get on TRT? And how much sleep should you eat to maintain your body fat? If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Thanks to Pale Fire and Mossy Creek! Music: Fair Weather Fans by The Baseball Project Art: Hayden Coplen Editor: Patrick Muldowney Producer: Mike Carrier Audio Engineer: Ben Koppel Mixer: Matt Knost Technical Direction: Alex Blumberg Special Thanks to: Matt Deschaine Social Media: , and , and . & ( ) Thank you to our sponsor, for the use of our logo and theme song: . . and our theme song by , our ad music by our sponsors, , by . , and our ad by by our sponsor , which is , the , thanks to , thank you, by a , is is a ! in the thanks , & , we are ? to our of the . and thank you , and we , to from , in - our , , , "the we on , my song by my , . , his s, and his , all , so . Thank you , this is (the , he , her , your , I , their , they , she has , s , that s ) & her + , etc, & his is .


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Brian Callan had his first taste of turmeric coffee.
00:00:06.000 Do you know there's an R in turmeric?
00:00:08.000 Yes.
00:00:08.000 A lot of people don't.
00:00:09.000 I've been eating turmeric since, well, the 70s, back when I was living in India.
00:00:13.000 I would have bet my life there was no R until about four months ago.
00:00:16.000 I didn't think there was an R. Turmeric.
00:00:18.000 I thought it was turmeric.
00:00:19.000 I thought it was T-U-M-E-R-I-C or whatever.
00:00:22.000 No, the Indians have been using it forever.
00:00:24.000 Oh yeah, they have, but I'm just saying I didn't know how to spell it.
00:00:27.000 That's why as a kid I had no inflammation in my body.
00:00:29.000 You just ate turmeric all the time.
00:00:31.000 Did your pee smell weird?
00:00:32.000 I was the turmeric kid.
00:00:33.000 What else makes your pee smell weird besides asparagus?
00:00:36.000 I think sometimes coffee.
00:00:38.000 Look, I'm 52. My body is betraying me, which is why I'm having my Laird Hamilton Super Coffee right now.
00:00:45.000 That's good stuff, right?
00:00:46.000 Look at him.
00:00:46.000 His body's not betraying him.
00:00:48.000 He's still jacked at 55. What happens is when your body is...
00:00:51.000 I feel like I'm in wet cement when I wake up.
00:00:53.000 Now, for the first time in my life, my feet, I've got to warm them up before I get out of bed, all that bullshit.
00:00:59.000 Now, old Brian's going to a doc.
00:01:01.000 I'm going to tell you this right now on Joe Rogan.
00:01:03.000 I'm going to get jacked.
00:01:05.000 I told you.
00:01:05.000 If I look a little veinier and my skin looks a little more flushed, don't ask questions.
00:01:11.000 Just know that I've got a good doctor.
00:01:12.000 You've got to get on the TRT, Brian.
00:01:14.000 I can't wait.
00:01:15.000 I can't wait.
00:01:15.000 I should have got on a long time ago.
00:01:16.000 Why didn't you listen to me?
00:01:17.000 I don't know.
00:01:17.000 Because I want to think that my body, my testosterone is a little higher than everybody else's.
00:01:23.000 It was an ego thing.
00:01:25.000 But now, you know what?
00:01:26.000 We're all mortal.
00:01:27.000 Yes.
00:01:28.000 Like little things.
00:01:29.000 Well, I have wear and tear for sure from all the years of beating up my body, like joints and stuff like that.
00:01:33.000 Like I just had to get some stem cells shot into my knee.
00:01:36.000 I've had some shot into my shoulder, stuff like that.
00:01:38.000 But in terms of like energy and like vitality and health, I feel fucking great.
00:01:44.000 Yes.
00:01:45.000 Here's what I do.
00:01:45.000 Here's my, here's my, I can see it.
00:01:47.000 You got a real, you got a, ooh, you're wiggly.
00:01:49.000 I'm 52. I feel fucking great.
00:01:51.000 I'm in the sauna almost every day.
00:01:53.000 I have a sauna here.
00:01:54.000 Mm-hmm.
00:01:54.000 Really?
00:01:55.000 You and I are going to sauna after this Russian style.
00:01:57.000 Let's do it.
00:01:58.000 Let's do it.
00:01:58.000 Dude, it's so good for you, man.
00:02:00.000 It means something.
00:02:01.000 Something's happening.
00:02:02.000 For sure.
00:02:03.000 After I get out of there, I'm just a little looser.
00:02:05.000 It's a percentage.
00:02:06.000 I don't know what percentage it is.
00:02:08.000 Is it 10%?
00:02:09.000 Is it more?
00:02:10.000 But there's a feeling that you get after you do a good sauna session where everything is just like...
00:02:15.000 Yeah, but you know, a lot of this also has to do with arriving at a point in your life where you're happy with what you've done, the decisions you've made.
00:02:25.000 So I sleep, for me, eight hours of sleep, seven and a half hours, and then as long as I don't eat...
00:02:32.000 For 12 hours.
00:02:33.000 So if I finished eating at 8, I'll start eating at 8 again or 10. That for me, 12 to 14 hours, I guess it's intermittent fasting.
00:02:41.000 Those two things, I haven't had a cold in, I don't know, 15 months.
00:02:45.000 You're so trendy.
00:02:46.000 I know.
00:02:46.000 Pavel Tatsulin, who's amazing.
00:02:53.000 Love that guy.
00:02:54.000 Fucking such an honor to have him in here.
00:02:56.000 I'm a big fan of that guy.
00:02:57.000 He told me he eats one today.
00:02:59.000 Really?
00:02:59.000 Big giant meal at dinner.
00:03:01.000 That's it.
00:03:01.000 At dinner?
00:03:02.000 Yep.
00:03:02.000 So how does he stay...
00:03:04.000 He's just hard, bro.
00:03:06.000 Like nails.
00:03:07.000 Yeah, but I think I get fucking skinny.
00:03:10.000 He shakes your hand like this.
00:03:13.000 He looks you in the eye and shakes your head.
00:03:14.000 I'm like, bro, are we fighting?
00:03:16.000 What's happening here?
00:03:17.000 This is a fucking heavy-duty handshake, son.
00:03:19.000 Just a resting alpha.
00:03:20.000 He's an animal.
00:03:21.000 He's an animal.
00:03:23.000 And his methods are so contrary to how you would normally think about weightlifting in particular, going to failure all the time, but yet also make sense.
00:03:35.000 Yeah.
00:03:35.000 He's saying do it more often, have longer breaks.
00:03:38.000 It's about strength.
00:03:39.000 Strength is the most important thing.
00:03:41.000 Strength.
00:03:41.000 His company is called Strength First for that reason.
00:03:44.000 Really?
00:03:44.000 Yeah.
00:03:45.000 He's like, if you can do something for 10 repetitions, you want to do about 5, and then you want to wait between 5 and 10 minutes before you do it again.
00:03:54.000 He's right.
00:03:55.000 It makes sense.
00:03:56.000 Most of us do not have that kind of fucking time.
00:03:59.000 And for sure, you can get in tremendous shape with a CrossFit workout or a HIIT, high intensity, where you're doing box jumps.
00:04:07.000 I prefer that.
00:04:08.000 There's some people out there that are in phenomenal shape working out like that.
00:04:12.000 But what makes sense about what he's saying is the amount of time required for your body to recover.
00:04:19.000 If you give yourself your body's ability to recover in between sets, you let everything sort of come back to baseline before you jack it up again like another set.
00:04:29.000 Right.
00:04:29.000 Like your body has more time to recover and you can perform more work.
00:04:32.000 And so your body adapts better.
00:04:34.000 Right.
00:04:34.000 The idea is that you're overwhelming your body when you're going to failure.
00:04:38.000 You're just beating the shit out of it.
00:04:39.000 You're also getting injured.
00:04:40.000 Yes.
00:04:42.000 The guys get injured.
00:04:46.000 It's not fair, so fair, but my impression of every CrossFit athlete that I know is always like this.
00:04:51.000 Watch.
00:04:51.000 No, I'm getting back into it.
00:04:52.000 I just got to pull the...
00:04:53.000 Something's always...
00:04:54.000 That's jiu-jitsu too, man.
00:04:55.000 Yes, same thing.
00:04:56.000 And I'm a big proponent of that as well.
00:04:58.000 But as you get older, I can't get injured.
00:05:01.000 I'm doing...
00:05:02.000 I don't know if you know this, but I'm a thespian.
00:05:04.000 I'm on a show called Schooled.
00:05:06.000 I'm ABC, guys.
00:05:07.000 And you jump around a lot.
00:05:08.000 You're very physical.
00:05:09.000 I'm very physical.
00:05:10.000 You're like a dancer.
00:05:11.000 By the way, do you want to talk about physical?
00:05:13.000 On the show, we had Bill Goldberg on.
00:05:18.000 And you know Bill.
00:05:18.000 I love that dude.
00:05:19.000 The best.
00:05:20.000 I love him.
00:05:21.000 Now, he walks around at a...
00:05:23.000 Very trim.
00:05:24.000 He's my age.
00:05:25.000 Oh, 260. When he was wrestling, he was 280. And what you don't realize is he played professional football for, I think it was four or seven years.
00:05:34.000 So he's the real deal.
00:05:36.000 And just a real athlete.
00:05:37.000 Also a very nice guy.
00:05:39.000 The best.
00:05:39.000 I love him.
00:05:40.000 He hosted a show called Garage Mahal and they redid my garage and turned it into a whole training center with a cage.
00:05:50.000 They put a cage and hung heavy bags and put pictures of old UFC fights on the wall.
00:05:55.000 It's fucking amazing.
00:05:56.000 He's a guy who brings it 100%, like every time, whether it's acting and so.
00:06:01.000 And by the way, he comes in and I'm like, your neck looks so thick.
00:06:05.000 He goes, first thing I work out.
00:06:06.000 First thing.
00:06:06.000 He's one of those guys like Chuck Liddell when you're close to him.
00:06:08.000 He breathes differently.
00:06:10.000 Like, you know, when you went with a race car.
00:06:13.000 Like he's...
00:06:15.000 You're like, what's going on?
00:06:16.000 Like a fucking Shelby GT500. I'm like, how much did you sleep?
00:06:21.000 He's like, I don't sleep.
00:06:22.000 And anyway, so we had this thing where I was playing a quarterback.
00:06:27.000 Look at the fucking size of that guy.
00:06:29.000 Oh, it's ridiculous.
00:06:30.000 That's what he looks like right now.
00:06:31.000 That's what he looks like right now.
00:06:33.000 And insisted.
00:06:33.000 He's so big!
00:06:34.000 He had a stunt double.
00:06:36.000 The stunt double didn't do anything.
00:06:38.000 He did all the stunts himself to the point where he had to rush...
00:06:42.000 At me in a touch football game.
00:06:44.000 I'm the quarterback.
00:06:46.000 And he had to hit two dudes.
00:06:48.000 Bro, look at that picture.
00:06:49.000 I mean, he smoked a little weed before this podcast.
00:06:51.000 I'm not going to lie to people.
00:06:52.000 But that picture's kind of freaking me out.
00:06:54.000 He's got a great body.
00:06:55.000 He's so big.
00:06:56.000 He's so massive.
00:06:57.000 But here's the thing about him, man.
00:06:59.000 It's really interesting.
00:07:01.000 The profession of professional wrestling is unbelievably brutal on your body.
00:07:07.000 And all those guys, I don't think, get respected enough for how hard that job is to do.
00:07:12.000 They're doing it hundreds of nights.
00:07:15.000 200 plus nights a year.
00:07:18.000 And they're throwing each other around and they get smashed.
00:07:20.000 But what I was going to say is he has come out of it Better than most.
00:07:25.000 Yes.
00:07:26.000 For sure.
00:07:26.000 Because he's never stopped working out and he never stopped stretching.
00:07:30.000 So we'll be on set.
00:07:31.000 That guy's stretching.
00:07:32.000 He says length is strength.
00:07:34.000 He's always moving his body.
00:07:37.000 Like Kurt Angle told me on the set of Warrior, he told me that he got injured way more.
00:07:42.000 He's a gold medalist in the Olympics as a wrestler.
00:07:44.000 Got injured way more doing professional wrestling.
00:07:47.000 Oh, for sure.
00:07:48.000 And Bill told me the same thing.
00:07:50.000 But he had to come at me and he said, look, I'm going to knock these two guys down, and I'm coming for your head.
00:07:57.000 I'm going to dive and come in your head.
00:07:59.000 So you have to duck.
00:08:00.000 This is unschooled?
00:08:01.000 Yes.
00:08:01.000 So I'm like, oh, okay.
00:08:03.000 So you have to duck.
00:08:04.000 But I had never seen, I'd never been that close to a former pro football player.
00:08:09.000 These are stun men, strong guys.
00:08:11.000 But it's a different thing.
00:08:12.000 He would just come off that line, and his speed, and he would hit these two dudes with his, he'd go...
00:08:18.000 Like that.
00:08:19.000 And the thud.
00:08:20.000 It sounded like maybe when two elephants hit, like just...
00:08:24.000 You know that...
00:08:26.000 Yeah.
00:08:27.000 And they would go...
00:08:28.000 They went flying backwards, horizontal, and then he comes and dives and would come for my head.
00:08:34.000 We kept having to do the takeover because I'm a coward.
00:08:37.000 And I would...
00:08:37.000 You know, I look like a potato bug.
00:08:40.000 You know where you...
00:08:41.000 Anyway...
00:08:43.000 I feel like Goldberg is a guy who could do the same kind of movies that The Rock does.
00:08:47.000 I do too.
00:08:48.000 I feel like he could be a gigantic movie star.
00:08:50.000 I think he's a good actor.
00:08:51.000 That's the other thing.
00:08:53.000 He's really good on the show.
00:08:54.000 Look at him.
00:08:55.000 Look at him.
00:08:55.000 He's a gigantic dude.
00:08:56.000 I think he could be a big movie star.
00:08:58.000 I think he could do any kind of those action movies.
00:09:01.000 I know he's done a bunch.
00:09:02.000 Yep.
00:09:02.000 But I mean, I think he could be a huge megastar.
00:09:05.000 He's got all the personality.
00:09:07.000 He's a really nice guy.
00:09:08.000 100%.
00:09:09.000 Smart, funny.
00:09:10.000 Yeah, he's smart.
00:09:11.000 He's with it.
00:09:12.000 Like, you talk to the guy, he's right there.
00:09:15.000 And very humble for a fucking ridiculously huge giant person.
00:09:19.000 Just...
00:09:19.000 But such a weird athlete.
00:09:20.000 His hands.
00:09:21.000 His fingers.
00:09:23.000 I was like, how do you dial a cell phone?
00:09:24.000 Your fingers are too fucking thick.
00:09:26.000 You're hitting two numbers.
00:09:27.000 Jimmy Pedro, who was working for Fuji at the time, and they installed...
00:09:33.000 Oh, no.
00:09:33.000 He was working for Zebra, excuse me, at the time.
00:09:36.000 He works for Fuji now.
00:09:38.000 Jimmy Pedro is a gold medalist at the Olympics for Judo.
00:09:40.000 And Jimmy Pedro set everything up.
00:09:42.000 They put these mats down on a raised platform so it had a little bounce to it.
00:09:49.000 Like if you fell, you got slammed or something like that.
00:09:52.000 And so they tested it out.
00:09:54.000 And so by testing it out, Jimmy Pedro, who probably weighs...
00:09:58.000 175 maybe?
00:09:59.000 Let me see.
00:10:00.000 You know, lean, thin, very strong guys.
00:10:02.000 Yeah.
00:10:02.000 Throwing around Goldberg.
00:10:03.000 Oh, he was?
00:10:04.000 Yeah.
00:10:04.000 I mean, Goldberg was letting him.
00:10:05.000 He was executing throws on him.
00:10:07.000 And Goldberg will throw himself.
00:10:08.000 But you see Pedro's technique is such that it's so good that he can do this.
00:10:12.000 Oh, shit.
00:10:13.000 Like, look how easy.
00:10:14.000 That's my garage, son.
00:10:15.000 So watch how he does this.
00:10:17.000 I mean, this is also, this is Jimmy Pedro.
00:10:20.000 Way after he's done competing.
00:10:23.000 He teaches now.
00:10:24.000 But look at that.
00:10:24.000 Boom, son.
00:10:25.000 Look at that technique.
00:10:26.000 Jesus.
00:10:27.000 There's hip tosses.
00:10:28.000 Fucking perfect.
00:10:30.000 Just perfect technique.
00:10:32.000 Look how much bigger Goldberg is than him.
00:10:33.000 But he can throw him around.
00:10:34.000 And now he's showing Goldberg how to do it.
00:10:36.000 Yeah.
00:10:36.000 Goldberg knows all this shit already.
00:10:38.000 You ever see him kick and punch?
00:10:39.000 Yeah, man.
00:10:39.000 I have.
00:10:40.000 I've seen him work out.
00:10:41.000 He's fucking legit as fuck.
00:10:42.000 Very much so.
00:10:43.000 That's an uneducated statement.
00:10:45.000 He's fucking legit as fuck.
00:10:46.000 He's legit as fuck.
00:10:47.000 No, I said he's fucking legit as fuck.
00:10:49.000 I added an extra fuck and it ruined the whole sentence.
00:10:52.000 It's all about harmony.
00:10:53.000 Like I said, he's with it.
00:10:57.000 It's there.
00:10:58.000 He's also remarkably uninjured for someone who did what he did for so long.
00:11:03.000 He knows a lot about exercise physiology.
00:11:06.000 I know he's got some bumps.
00:11:07.000 I know he's got some shit going wrong, but he still looks like him.
00:11:11.000 A lot of these guys are fucked up, man, where the back injuries have forced them to be very tight and They're rigid and they can't move so good anymore.
00:11:19.000 That's where Diamond Dallas Page has done an amazing job, is getting these guys into yoga and getting these guys specifically into his style of yoga, which is a lot of dynamic tension stuff too.
00:11:30.000 He's helped so many of those guys get over serious back injuries.
00:11:34.000 He has?
00:11:35.000 Yes.
00:11:37.000 Dallas' back was fucked up, man.
00:11:39.000 I mean, all those years of getting body slammed, all those years of picking up giant guys, all that shit, his back was fucked up.
00:11:45.000 And he still has a fucked up back.
00:11:47.000 But he does yoga every day, and his back is so strong that it keeps everything in place.
00:11:53.000 So all those yoga techniques, what's really done better than anything for these wrestlers is stabilize their back through a dynamic range.
00:12:02.000 You're doing standing bow.
00:12:05.000 You're leaning forward and doing that T thing when you stand on one leg.
00:12:09.000 All that kind of shit is tremendous for your spine and your cord.
00:12:13.000 And so that protects a lot of guys with back injuries.
00:12:16.000 That's him right there?
00:12:17.000 Yes, dude.
00:12:17.000 Look at that.
00:12:18.000 Bro, he's in his 60s.
00:12:19.000 He did that without even...
00:12:20.000 He did that without even warming up out here in the garage.
00:12:23.000 I could never do that.
00:12:24.000 He just picks up his foot and stands up like that.
00:12:26.000 Bam!
00:12:27.000 I think Dallas is like 66 or something like that.
00:12:30.000 He's in tremendous shape.
00:12:31.000 He's a great guy, too.
00:12:33.000 That's crazy!
00:12:34.000 Super infectious personality.
00:12:36.000 He's so friendly and happy, and he does so much for other people that are sick and injured.
00:12:41.000 He's got a bunch of videos of these guys, like that guy right there.
00:12:45.000 Who was so fucked up that he was walking with crutches.
00:12:48.000 He could barely get along.
00:12:49.000 And by the end of it, Dallas had him running.
00:12:52.000 He had him doing yoga.
00:12:53.000 Look at that.
00:12:54.000 He's standing on his head.
00:12:56.000 The guy lost a shitload of weight.
00:13:00.000 Keeping flexible is more important than anything else, I think.
00:13:03.000 Dallas helps these guys.
00:13:04.000 He had a separate house, right?
00:13:06.000 Where he was keeping Jake the Snake and a couple of these guys in.
00:13:09.000 He had a separate house for them.
00:13:10.000 He was helping rehabilitate them and bring them back to health.
00:13:14.000 The other thing about getting older is you get sore faster.
00:13:17.000 I had to have a...
00:13:17.000 That's such a stupid thing.
00:13:20.000 I had to have a wrestling match with my jeans.
00:13:23.000 Don't ask.
00:13:23.000 I couldn't get them off in the show.
00:13:26.000 Why don't you get stretchy jeans?
00:13:28.000 No, but it was part of the comedy, you know...
00:13:30.000 Oh, that you couldn't move good in your jeans?
00:13:32.000 Yeah.
00:13:32.000 So they give you extra tight jeans?
00:13:34.000 Guys, I don't want to give away the episode of school.
00:13:36.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:13:36.000 You're going to have to wait.
00:13:37.000 Can you see your hug?
00:13:39.000 Can you see your hug in your pants?
00:13:41.000 I tie it to my leg.
00:13:42.000 I wear it in a holster, as you know, because he's unruly.
00:13:44.000 And he's always wanting to get in a feed bucket, if you know what I mean.
00:13:50.000 That wasn't part of the joke though, wasn't your hog?
00:13:52.000 No, but I had to do that like 50 takes and, well, I was sore the next day.
00:13:58.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:13:59.000 I was sore the next day.
00:14:00.000 Did you have mats?
00:14:01.000 From comedy.
00:14:02.000 I was sore from physical comedy yesterday.
00:14:04.000 That's some serious physical comedy.
00:14:05.000 That is a point that I've...
00:14:08.000 I've heard before, and I don't know if this is true, but many people have told me, and this is like this long-standing thing, that, you know, Chevy Chase is kind of known as a grumpy guy.
00:14:17.000 Yeah.
00:14:18.000 They said that Chevy Chase did so many pratfalls that he's in pain all the time.
00:14:24.000 That's interesting.
00:14:25.000 Just stop and think about all the times you saw Chevy Chase fall down in movies and in TV shows.
00:14:32.000 And one of the things that happens, obviously, to older athletes that play football or combat sports or boxing is getting beat up like that, getting slammed around like that.
00:14:43.000 They get bad backs.
00:14:44.000 They get headaches.
00:14:45.000 They get a little bit of PTSD. You just don't feel good.
00:14:47.000 You're always in pain.
00:14:48.000 Yeah.
00:14:49.000 Especially the athletes get the PTSD. But what you're seeing with him, it very well could be that that guy hurt his body real bad doing pratfalls.
00:15:00.000 Buster Keaton, who was like the very first ever stuntman, who did crazy shit, man.
00:15:06.000 Have you ever watched some old Buster Keaton films?
00:15:08.000 The stunts that that guy did back when they couldn't fake anything.
00:15:11.000 Like, nuts.
00:15:12.000 But he was always getting beat up.
00:15:14.000 His body was fucked up, man.
00:15:16.000 Yeah, let's hear Chevy Chase falling down.
00:15:19.000 Bro, I got news for you.
00:15:20.000 This is all legit.
00:15:21.000 And he fell a lot, man.
00:15:23.000 Constantly.
00:15:23.000 He was almost like a Tom Green type character, but also a brilliant actor and comedian.
00:15:30.000 So he fell all the fucking time.
00:15:33.000 So I'm guessing, as a person who's fallen a bunch of times, that guy's probably in pain a lot.
00:15:39.000 Like all the time.
00:15:40.000 People always say Chevy Chase is so grumpy.
00:15:42.000 Maybe he's just fucking in pain all the time.
00:15:44.000 Yeah, maybe he just doesn't feel good.
00:15:46.000 There's no way!
00:15:48.000 Dude, that's just a few.
00:15:49.000 He fell on Saturday Night Live all the time.
00:15:51.000 Didn't he fall on Fletch?
00:15:53.000 Remember that cop movie?
00:15:56.000 National Lampoon, I think you fell through the ceiling.
00:15:58.000 Fell at everything.
00:15:59.000 Bro, you fell through everything.
00:16:00.000 So for me, some of it might have been Steinman.
00:16:02.000 I was boxing so much, and what I would do is I would just get in the ring, and I would just start hitting the mitts kind of light.
00:16:07.000 And by light, I mean, you know, I don't know, 30%.
00:16:10.000 And then in about a minute, I'm going full because I'm warmed up.
00:16:14.000 I feel great.
00:16:15.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 And a guy who is a trainer walked by, he used to be a pro football player, and now he trains a lot of pro athletes and he knows his shit.
00:16:25.000 And he walked by and he goes, he looks at me and he goes, Chris Camacho.
00:16:31.000 Chris looked at me and goes, he goes, Not warming up again, huh?
00:16:36.000 Guy in his 50s?
00:16:37.000 Cool, just going at it, huh?
00:16:38.000 And he just looked at me and kind of went, yeah.
00:16:40.000 That's all he said.
00:16:41.000 He knew, he knew.
00:16:43.000 And sure enough, sure enough, I'm still, now I haven't been able to box in, I don't know, three months.
00:16:49.000 Dude.
00:16:49.000 Because I fucked myself up.
00:16:50.000 Because I didn't warm up.
00:16:51.000 You're talking to a moron who had stem cells shot in his knee the other day because I tore my meniscus in a kicking contest with Joe Schilling when I had my pants on.
00:17:00.000 I saw him.
00:17:01.000 I'm a moron.
00:17:02.000 No warm-up at all.
00:17:03.000 I was like, there's no...
00:17:04.000 Full blast.
00:17:05.000 Of course.
00:17:06.000 No, it's got a...
00:17:06.000 It gives a little bit.
00:17:07.000 Sure.
00:17:08.000 Because it's a padded thing that's a block that sits on the board that measures the amount of power.
00:17:12.000 Whatever.
00:17:13.000 I was watching you kick it going, that's not good.
00:17:15.000 That's not good.
00:17:17.000 That wall's not giving.
00:17:18.000 Oh.
00:17:19.000 Yeah.
00:17:20.000 Done it.
00:17:21.000 I'll tell you one thing though.
00:17:23.000 I'm not confident enough to side kick it, like turning back kick it, like really do the hardest kick that I could do into it.
00:17:31.000 It doesn't give enough.
00:17:34.000 Like a spinning back kick or a turning side kick, the amount of torque that's involved, when you have that knee up and you're turning the corner and then you shove that fucking thing through, Like, oh my god, the amount of torque that's involved, if that thing doesn't move,
00:17:49.000 that's going to all be in your knee.
00:17:52.000 I'm not interested in doing that, so I won't do that.
00:17:54.000 But I'll kick it, roundhouse kick.
00:17:56.000 Roundhouse kick is just, roundhouse kick you can kick a fucking bag that's not even going to give it all.
00:18:01.000 Like, they have those Fairtex bags that are like 300 pounds.
00:18:03.000 You ever seen those big, giant, fat ones?
00:18:05.000 You can dig into that motherfucker and your leg's okay.
00:18:08.000 Your leg kind of gives too.
00:18:10.000 There's like a little bit of flex to a roundhouse kick.
00:18:13.000 But a straight kick, it's like so much of it is on the joint of the knee.
00:18:17.000 So much of it, like a side kick in particular, so much of it when you extend, like there's a lot of pressure on that knee and a lot of pressure on the foot too if you hit it wrong.
00:18:27.000 Like if you hit it with the ball of the foot instead of the heel, oh my god, you could break your ankle.
00:18:31.000 I feel like guys like Henry Cejudo, those guys coming out of the Olympic training centers, like the national coach for the USA gymnastics team, he was like, my athletes don't get injured, for the most part.
00:18:44.000 He said, because the way we...
00:18:46.000 Build them structurally.
00:18:48.000 And the boring as shit exercises we have our athletes do before they start kind of putting that kind of pressure on their joints is pedantic.
00:18:58.000 It's piecemeal.
00:18:59.000 But I always wonder, like, I'll see someone like Cejudo, who is a fucking, obviously a maniac with the way he trains.
00:19:06.000 But he, there's a science.
00:19:09.000 When you live at the Olympic Training Center, there's a science with all those guys.
00:19:13.000 They're working out.
00:19:14.000 There's no meathead shit.
00:19:15.000 Oh, no question at all.
00:19:16.000 They're working out very specifically.
00:19:18.000 He had those Neuroforce guys in here.
00:19:20.000 That's the name of the company, right?
00:19:21.000 Neuroforce.
00:19:22.000 That helped train him.
00:19:24.000 They have all these really high-tech, cutting-edge training methods.
00:19:29.000 But, you know, he did get injured.
00:19:31.000 He fucked his shoulder up in his last fight.
00:19:33.000 He's actually had surgery.
00:19:34.000 In a fight, yeah.
00:19:35.000 Because that's not natural.
00:19:36.000 Yeah, the T.J. Dillashaw fight, which happened, you know, it was a very quick...
00:19:40.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:19:41.000 Marlon Marais.
00:19:41.000 That's right.
00:19:42.000 It was a Marlon Marais fight.
00:19:43.000 It was post-T.J. Dillashaw.
00:19:45.000 That Marlon Marais fight was fucking incredible.
00:19:47.000 The fact that that guy was able to weather that storm of that first round, and look, Marlon Marais in that first round looked like an assassin.
00:19:54.000 He looked like one of the best fighters ever.
00:19:56.000 And then Cejudo, and he is, but Cejudo just changed everything in the second round.
00:20:02.000 He got in his face, he put it to him, he pressured him, and Marlon was, he felt too big, too big when he was cutting the weight.
00:20:10.000 Like he came in too heavy and it was too much of a drain on him.
00:20:14.000 And Cejudo just overwhelmed him.
00:20:16.000 How would Aldo do against Cejudo?
00:20:19.000 I've heard from other MMA fighters that they'd like to see that matchup.
00:20:22.000 You really would never know until they fought.
00:20:24.000 You'd never know.
00:20:25.000 But I like Aldo at 135 pounds.
00:20:27.000 He looks so good against Marais.
00:20:29.000 It's interesting that the UFC, it seems like, is saying that Aldo could get a title shot even though he lost the decision to Marais.
00:20:36.000 So I haven't talked to anybody.
00:20:38.000 I don't know what their position is on that decision.
00:20:40.000 I didn't think the decision was right.
00:20:43.000 I felt like Aldo controlled so much more of the fight.
00:20:47.000 I've said it a hundred times.
00:20:49.000 I'll say it 101. I don't like the way these fights are scored.
00:20:52.000 I don't think we should be using this really blunt tool for fine work.
00:20:58.000 I think there's a lot that goes on in a fight, and we should probably have a conference where martial arts experts and, you know, whether it's from different disciplines, wrestling, kickboxing, whatever, everybody get together and just let's try to come up with a better solution.
00:21:17.000 Someone should be able to come up with a better scoring system.
00:21:19.000 It doesn't have to be one to ten.
00:21:21.000 This one to ten is so arbitrary.
00:21:22.000 Did you see Aldo landing more shots?
00:21:25.000 Yes.
00:21:25.000 I felt like he was pressuring way more.
00:21:28.000 He felt like he was hitting them harder, particularly after the first round.
00:21:31.000 The first round, Marais has one of the very best switch kicks in the game, man.
00:21:36.000 His left high switch kick, he fucks everybody up with that man.
00:21:40.000 Well, he got hit with it.
00:21:42.000 The first shot that Marais threw was that fucking switch kick, man.
00:21:46.000 His left switch kick is a thing of beauty.
00:21:48.000 It's so fast, but it's also so loose.
00:21:51.000 He throws it like a whip, man.
00:21:53.000 It surprises you.
00:21:54.000 It surprises me.
00:21:56.000 And I've seen him do it to Jimmy Rivera.
00:21:58.000 I've seen him do it to...
00:22:00.000 Who else did he do it to?
00:22:01.000 He's done it to a bunch of guys.
00:22:03.000 He just comes out of nowhere.
00:22:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:22:04.000 Who the fuck else did he catch with that left switch kick?
00:22:09.000 I can't...
00:22:11.000 Aljamain Sterling.
00:22:12.000 That's right.
00:22:12.000 He caught him with it too.
00:22:14.000 Dude, he knocked Aljamain out cold.
00:22:17.000 Check this out.
00:22:18.000 Watch this.
00:22:19.000 Watch this shit.
00:22:20.000 So Marais' switch kick is like, if you wanted to model yourself after switch kick, it would be his to the head and Barboza's to the body.
00:22:29.000 They're very different.
00:22:30.000 They're very different switch kicks.
00:22:32.000 Because his is like faster.
00:22:34.000 It's weird, man.
00:22:36.000 It's like he throws it and you don't see it coming.
00:22:41.000 Yeah, throw it right there.
00:22:42.000 Let's see it.
00:22:43.000 I want to see the actual one that he landed on Aldo.
00:22:46.000 See, that was perfect right there, but go to the one that he did on Aldo if you can find that.
00:22:51.000 The switch kick he landed on Aldo early in the first round.
00:22:54.000 He does it so, it's like a whip.
00:22:57.000 It's so loose.
00:22:58.000 It seems like he just does it effortlessly.
00:23:01.000 Barboza's, though, to the body and to the legs.
00:23:03.000 I've been caged for that against Paul Felder.
00:23:07.000 It's so crazy.
00:23:09.000 Holy shit.
00:23:09.000 Barboza switch kick is so crazy.
00:23:11.000 You just go, what?
00:23:12.000 Is there frames missing from that video?
00:23:14.000 Horrifying.
00:23:15.000 It's like there's frames missing.
00:23:16.000 Yeah.
00:23:17.000 Right?
00:23:17.000 Yeah.
00:23:18.000 Who edited it?
00:23:19.000 Who edited it?
00:23:20.000 Well, the guy, I think, the guy who just fought our boy Uriah Faber.
00:23:25.000 Ryan looked great too.
00:23:26.000 40 years old looked phenomenal, but Jesus.
00:23:28.000 Piotr Jan is a monster.
00:23:29.000 He's a monster.
00:23:31.000 He's so strong.
00:23:32.000 It's a stacked division, man.
00:23:33.000 He's strong, man.
00:23:36.000 He's one of those dudes that looks normal, but I think he's way stronger than he looks.
00:23:40.000 There's guys that exist like that.
00:23:42.000 Like chimp strength.
00:23:44.000 A lot of them are Russian.
00:23:45.000 That's right.
00:23:46.000 A lot of them are Russian.
00:23:47.000 There's something about some of those Russian dudes.
00:23:49.000 You grab them and you're like, hey, what are you made out of?
00:23:52.000 And Russian, by the way, you can also say most of the great wrestlers and stuff are from places like Azerbaijan, Dagestan, the Turkmen people, where fighting is a way of life.
00:24:02.000 Okay, watch how he does this.
00:24:04.000 Watch how loose this is.
00:24:05.000 Come on, man.
00:24:06.000 That's amazing.
00:24:07.000 I mean, that's amazing.
00:24:09.000 Yeah, but Aldo looks great.
00:24:10.000 It's so sweet!
00:24:11.000 See how it whips?
00:24:12.000 Like, I'm telling you, man, he might be the best in the world with that left high switch.
00:24:16.000 See, Aldo still had his hand up there.
00:24:18.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:19.000 I mean, look, Aldo's fine.
00:24:20.000 But he did rock him.
00:24:21.000 He definitely caught him.
00:24:22.000 And I don't care who the fuck you are, that right there is going to hurt.
00:24:26.000 Yeah, there you go.
00:24:26.000 See, it didn't really block.
00:24:27.000 It just glanced off the top of his head.
00:24:30.000 Dude, Aldo looks amazing at 135. He looks amazing.
00:24:33.000 I think he could be a world champion at 135. No bullshit.
00:24:36.000 I can't believe he can suck that guy.
00:24:37.000 He's only 33!
00:24:38.000 I was going to say, and I have no problem with him fighting for the title.
00:24:41.000 You know why?
00:24:42.000 Because for nine years he was untouchable.
00:24:44.000 Yeah.
00:24:44.000 Nine years.
00:24:45.000 He's either 32 or 33. He is not old.
00:24:49.000 No.
00:24:49.000 He's in his athletic prime.
00:24:52.000 Yeah.
00:24:52.000 Dude.
00:24:53.000 A lot of miles on him, though.
00:24:54.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:24:55.000 You see a lot of scar tissue on him, but still, he's got a zest for fighting.
00:25:00.000 He fought really hard this past fight.
00:25:03.000 Yes, he did.
00:25:03.000 I mean, whether or not you'd agree with the decision or not, it's a conversation, really.
00:25:07.000 I mean, I'm not right.
00:25:08.000 I have my own opinion.
00:25:09.000 I felt like Aldo did enough to win.
00:25:11.000 I felt like, I think people, they...
00:25:14.000 I think there was a moment in the first round where you could say Marais took control early, landed some good shots, and then he did get the taketown later in the fight, in the first round.
00:25:26.000 The first round is like a tricky one.
00:25:28.000 The first round's a tricky one.
00:25:29.000 I could see you giving that to Marais.
00:25:30.000 It's still a close fight.
00:25:31.000 It doesn't matter.
00:25:32.000 I mean, I was fine with either one.
00:25:33.000 I wanted Aldo because I love Aldo.
00:25:36.000 I just don't buy the way they're scoring things.
00:25:38.000 It just doesn't make any sense to me.
00:25:40.000 I just don't know how you're going to get a 10-9 and then another 10-9 is a totally different thing.
00:25:47.000 You could have a 10-9 where a guy beats the shit out of a guy, and you could have a 10-9 where who knows who won the round.
00:25:52.000 You could have a 10-9 where almost nothing happens, or you could have a 10-9 that's crazy.
00:25:55.000 That doesn't make sense to me.
00:25:57.000 It doesn't make sense.
00:25:58.000 Boxing is definitely more clear.
00:25:59.000 Did you like the release?
00:26:00.000 Boxing has two weapons.
00:26:01.000 Yeah.
00:26:02.000 Two weapons.
00:26:03.000 Two weapons.
00:26:03.000 No takedowns.
00:26:04.000 No submission attempts.
00:26:06.000 What's better?
00:26:06.000 A takedown or punches?
00:26:08.000 What's better?
00:26:09.000 A jab or a body kick?
00:26:10.000 What's better?
00:26:11.000 What's better?
00:26:11.000 I don't know.
00:26:12.000 We've got to figure this out.
00:26:13.000 You can't just have guys lose decisions and there's decisions being made by people who shouldn't even be in this conversation as far as what's more or less valuable in terms of technique.
00:26:26.000 I would score it like this.
00:26:27.000 I think, so if you're a boxer, landing a jab is always easier than landing a right hand against somebody who's equally as good as you are, okay?
00:26:34.000 So landing a right hand's a motherfucker.
00:26:36.000 So for me, I would always count...
00:26:38.000 So I think that a push kick with your front foot is not the same as a switch kick that blasts somebody in their fucking head or their ribs.
00:26:49.000 I would count those kinds of...
00:26:51.000 I don't know how you would categorize it, but maybe the equivalent of what a right hand is, which is...
00:26:58.000 Somebody trying to actually close the deal and knock you out versus set you up with a jab.
00:27:03.000 Setting you up with a jab, setting you up with a front kick, setting you up with those things is different than blasting somebody with a double leg, blasting somebody with a back foot roundhouse kick, a wheel kick.
00:27:13.000 Exactly.
00:27:14.000 There's so many weapons.
00:27:16.000 I don't know how you do that, though.
00:27:18.000 Because that's a strike regardless, and sometimes that strike doesn't...
00:27:22.000 You know, it doesn't do anything to you.
00:27:24.000 Well, you can have a guy who's super durable, right?
00:27:27.000 And you catch him with a couple of really good shots, but then he takes you down and lands a couple good elbows.
00:27:31.000 Who won the exchange?
00:27:32.000 I don't know.
00:27:33.000 I mean, maybe if the end of the round is the guy's on top, I have no evidence that you're going to get up.
00:27:38.000 You know, you might get up eventually, but so far you're on the ground and he's holding you down, he's punching you.
00:27:42.000 That means a lot.
00:27:43.000 Then again, somebody can take your back, right?
00:27:45.000 And they're controlling you, but you're doing great defense.
00:27:47.000 Yeah, but it means a lot that the guy took your back.
00:27:49.000 We have to look at it in terms of your percentage of...
00:27:57.000 We're good to go.
00:28:16.000 When you take somebody down, you get a point for that, but when you take their back, that's two points.
00:28:20.000 Right, that's fine.
00:28:21.000 Because that's college.
00:28:22.000 But you're close to finishing his life when you have his back.
00:28:25.000 This points shit.
00:28:26.000 I don't want to hear this.
00:28:27.000 When you get a guy's back, you got a body triangle in, you got an arm around the neck, and you're controlling the other arm.
00:28:32.000 Somehow or another, you're really close to taking his life.
00:28:35.000 That's the difference.
00:28:36.000 So this point stuff, that's great.
00:28:38.000 What's more important to escape is when a guy has your fucking back and he has an arm under your chin and you're just fighting hands, you don't want to be there, man.
00:28:48.000 And if he has enough squeeze and enough energy to just fuck...
00:28:51.000 Damien Maia can make people tap across their face.
00:28:54.000 He can.
00:28:55.000 He gets you across your face and he cranks your fucking neck.
00:28:58.000 He knows how to manipulate necks.
00:28:59.000 So it's not just like him squeezing and hoping that it works.
00:29:02.000 He's going to get his shoulder into it and he's going to get all this torque into your neck.
00:29:06.000 He doesn't have to go into your neck.
00:29:07.000 You ever see his fight with Rick Story?
00:29:09.000 Yeah.
00:29:10.000 He's choking him and blood is squirting out of Story's nose as he's squeezing his neck.
00:29:17.000 That's Damien Maia.
00:29:18.000 Do you know who I train with now?
00:29:21.000 Who's nice enough to teach me?
00:29:22.000 It's Hegan Machado.
00:29:23.000 I love Hegan.
00:29:24.000 By the way, where's his school?
00:29:25.000 I want to give him a shout out.
00:29:27.000 It's in the beach somewhere, right?
00:29:28.000 No, it's on Wilshire.
00:29:30.000 8126 Wilshire Boulevard.
00:29:32.000 Bro, he just gave Ashton Kutcher a brown belt.
00:29:34.000 I know he did.
00:29:34.000 Ashton Kutcher is legit.
00:29:37.000 He must be legit.
00:29:37.000 I got Schaub so riled up on the podcast because I said to Schaub, Schaub goes, it just bothered me that Hegan said that Ashton could beat Conor McGregor in jiu-jitsu.
00:29:48.000 And I went, I knew I'd get to him.
00:29:50.000 And I went, well, he's 6'4".
00:29:51.000 He's got very long arms.
00:29:53.000 And he goes...
00:29:54.000 He would destroy Ashton Kutcher in under a minute!
00:29:57.000 I got him so riled.
00:29:59.000 I was like, I don't know, bro.
00:30:00.000 I just kept going, I don't know.
00:30:02.000 He lost his mind.
00:30:04.000 It's not impossible for someone who's really dedicated to jiu-jitsu to get to a point where they could tap an MMA fighter.
00:30:11.000 Because most elite MMA fighters have many, many skills and many, many different things that they're working on constantly.
00:30:19.000 If you're just concentrating on jiu-jitsu, particularly with the leg block guys...
00:30:23.000 Yeah, they're going to be better at it.
00:30:25.000 Just like if you just go to box, you know, if someone invites you, you know, like Terrence Crawford invites someone to go to his camp and box.
00:30:35.000 In fact, TJ Dillashaw said that about Lomachenko, that he boxed with Lomachenko and it felt like he was just being kind to him.
00:30:42.000 Of course.
00:30:42.000 It felt like once the guy opened up, he was like, oh shit.
00:30:47.000 Yeah.
00:30:47.000 Yeah.
00:30:48.000 That's his sport now.
00:30:50.000 But Lomachenko was nice to him, but didn't fuck him up.
00:30:53.000 Speaking of warming up, there's a great video of him warming up.
00:30:55.000 And I watched it, I was like, oh, that's how a pro does it.
00:30:58.000 Lomachenko?
00:30:58.000 Yeah, and he's like, one arm, [...
00:31:06.000 He's not doing anything stupid.
00:31:07.000 He has like a whole system that he does to warm his body up before he starts moving really fast and throwing punches.
00:31:13.000 Yeah, and he's 26 or whatever.
00:31:15.000 Yeah, here it is right here.
00:31:16.000 But you watch this and you go, yeah, this is what you're supposed to do when you're a fucking professional.
00:31:21.000 I've had a chance to see it live once with Manny Pacquiao.
00:31:24.000 Really?
00:31:25.000 Yeah, Manny Pacquiao was doing this thing at Wild Card Boxing, and I got to watch him train a little bit.
00:31:31.000 And I got to watch him warm up with these bands.
00:31:35.000 He has these little bands and he does these warm-up things.
00:31:38.000 He warms everything.
00:31:39.000 I mean, his body is a race car, you know?
00:31:41.000 He's not doing that dumb shit that you and I would do.
00:31:44.000 Just go in there and see, how much can you bench?
00:31:46.000 You mean just getting in there and going?
00:31:48.000 Yeah, Ari and Bert and Tom were in the back, fucking around with my weights, and none of them could do 225. And so I went back there, and I was like, can you do 225?
00:32:00.000 And I was drunk.
00:32:00.000 I was like, fuck yeah, I could do 225. God damn it.
00:32:03.000 So I did 225 for 12. I want to stop you immediately.
00:32:05.000 No warm-up, 51 years old.
00:32:07.000 Terrible idea.
00:32:08.000 That's so stupid.
00:32:09.000 It's pretty damn good, though.
00:32:10.000 I'm glad I didn't hurt anything.
00:32:12.000 That's exactly how you hurt something.
00:32:13.000 I could have easily gone, pop, ah!
00:32:15.000 Yeah, of course.
00:32:16.000 When the weights come down, boom!
00:32:17.000 Pin me to the chest.
00:32:18.000 I don't have to roll out from under them.
00:32:19.000 But you got competitive.
00:32:20.000 And then my arm swells up with blood.
00:32:23.000 You ever see a guy when they blow their bicep or their chest, their peck out?
00:32:27.000 Yes.
00:32:27.000 Oh, it's so nasty.
00:32:28.000 I feel like you and I should do a dance competition and show Burt and Tom up.
00:32:34.000 But Tom and Burt are both athletic dudes.
00:32:37.000 They're actually both athletic guys.
00:32:39.000 Here's my prediction.
00:32:40.000 Yeah, Tom can dance his ass off.
00:32:41.000 He can legit dance his ass off.
00:32:43.000 You ever see him swing a golf club?
00:32:44.000 He's an athletic dude.
00:32:45.000 Yeah, he's a big dude too.
00:32:46.000 They're both big guys.
00:32:48.000 Here's my prediction.
00:32:49.000 They keep ramping it up.
00:32:51.000 Really?
00:32:52.000 I don't think we're done.
00:32:52.000 I think you're about to see some epic shit.
00:32:55.000 Really?
00:32:55.000 I think they're going to keep ramping it up.
00:32:57.000 I feel like I want in.
00:32:58.000 I mean, I know I'm being derivative and I'm copying, but I want to fucking dance, bro.
00:33:04.000 Why don't you have your own?
00:33:05.000 I think they both already have scripts written for their retorts, and I don't know who's going to go first.
00:33:11.000 Well, it's gotta be Burt.
00:33:12.000 Burt's gotta be next, because Tom just murdered him.
00:33:15.000 You can't double down.
00:33:16.000 Like, this shit was ruthless.
00:33:18.000 I mean, come on, man.
00:33:19.000 This shit was ruthless.
00:33:20.000 What happened?
00:33:21.000 Did you spill all over yourself?
00:33:23.000 What happened to you?
00:33:24.000 I spilled, man.
00:33:25.000 I got excited.
00:33:26.000 You're spilling your hug?
00:33:27.000 I spilled my fucking turmeric on myself.
00:33:29.000 This video?
00:33:30.000 You've seen this video, right?
00:33:31.000 Come on.
00:33:31.000 Oh, it's the best.
00:33:32.000 Bro, it's amazing.
00:33:33.000 I know it is.
00:33:33.000 But here's what's amazing.
00:33:34.000 He's hilarious.
00:33:35.000 It's actually good.
00:33:36.000 I know.
00:33:37.000 Like, this part?
00:33:38.000 Like, watch this.
00:33:41.000 I mean, come on.
00:33:42.000 Look at him moving around.
00:33:43.000 Dude, he can dance great.
00:33:44.000 I know.
00:33:45.000 And that's why he was offended by Burt's.
00:33:48.000 He's like...
00:33:49.000 This dude's pretending he knows how to dance just because he takes his pants off?
00:33:52.000 I'll show you.
00:33:53.000 You get more mad when people give him credit for it, too.
00:33:55.000 They're like, oh, look at Bert dancing.
00:33:57.000 He did get mad.
00:33:58.000 Yeah, I didn't understand that.
00:33:59.000 I was a little confused.
00:34:00.000 I felt like he was laying back, like, if we were going to do a hip-hop dance contest.
00:34:04.000 You know what I mean?
00:34:04.000 Like, he's the guy at the bar that pretends he can't play pool.
00:34:07.000 I mean, I played a couple of times.
00:34:09.000 Oh, by the way, he's selling those machine shirts.
00:34:11.000 Machine.
00:34:12.000 Amazing.
00:34:12.000 You can buy those at yourmomshouse.com.
00:34:14.000 I'm going to buy one of those.
00:34:15.000 I say to Rogan, I put him on a thread.
00:34:18.000 I think it was before they were doing the dance thing.
00:34:20.000 I remember I said to you, I had Shob, Eddie, you and me, and I said, let's do a fucking dance-off.
00:34:29.000 And then Rogan comes back with, hey, if we do a dance-off, you're going to want to win.
00:34:35.000 And I don't know if I have the time to dedicate...
00:34:38.000 To that shit.
00:34:39.000 And I was like, you got serious right away.
00:34:42.000 You get competitive.
00:34:43.000 I'm a moron.
00:34:44.000 And you would.
00:34:46.000 You would do whatever you had to do to win.
00:34:48.000 I have kept my most ridiculous moron tendencies at bay for most of my adult life.
00:34:55.000 But when we did Sober October last year and I was making the fire alarm go off from my sweat...
00:35:01.000 Like I was telling them, I'm like, you're gonna die.
00:35:04.000 I'm like, if you're gonna try to do what I'm willing to do, you're gonna die.
00:35:08.000 You don't understand.
00:35:09.000 I'll work out eight, ten hours a day.
00:35:10.000 Yeah, you'll kill yourself.
00:35:11.000 I go, we're gonna die.
00:35:12.000 It was like, I remember when you were a young man, you said to me, you're like, I think I might fight Wesley Snipes.
00:35:18.000 And I was like, what?
00:35:19.000 And you were, because you looked, you were like pulsing.
00:35:23.000 You looked like a fucking, like one of those guys who gets caught in nuclear waste.
00:35:26.000 Your veins and everything, you're just like, man...
00:35:29.000 And you were breathing like Chuck Liddell.
00:35:30.000 And I go, hey, what's up, man?
00:35:31.000 That's not a really good case.
00:35:32.000 I'm just training.
00:35:33.000 I'm training all the time.
00:35:34.000 I was training all the time.
00:35:35.000 I was training twice a day.
00:35:36.000 It was really hard.
00:35:37.000 Yeah, it was crazy.
00:35:38.000 But I thought it was really going to happen.
00:35:40.000 We had lawyers involved.
00:35:41.000 Wes is an athlete.
00:35:42.000 He owed a lot of money to the IRS. That's what it was.
00:35:47.000 He got in a real bad situation, apparently, where someone was advising him that he didn't have to pay taxes.
00:35:53.000 You know, man, one of those, you ever check the Constitution, man?
00:35:56.000 You're your own island, your own country, that horseshit.
00:35:59.000 That shit doesn't work, man.
00:36:00.000 My friend did that.
00:36:01.000 My friend did that.
00:36:02.000 This is what he did.
00:36:03.000 He declared himself a sovereign state, and then he decided he was going to run Illegal substances across state lines.
00:36:12.000 He gets caught and he goes, I'm my own sovereign state.
00:36:14.000 I can do whatever I want.
00:36:15.000 The cop goes, that's awesome.
00:36:16.000 You're going to jail now.
00:36:18.000 They put him in court.
00:36:19.000 He had a whole defense.
00:36:21.000 I'm a sovereign state.
00:36:22.000 I refuse to give you my name.
00:36:24.000 The judge was like, very cool.
00:36:26.000 You're going to jail now for eight months.
00:36:28.000 We'll see you later.
00:36:29.000 Gang, gang.
00:36:29.000 And now he had a record.
00:36:30.000 How'd that work out for you?
00:36:32.000 Not well at all.
00:36:33.000 Some people read the Constitution.
00:36:35.000 They somehow or another decide that they're experts.
00:36:37.000 Yeah.
00:36:39.000 There's a lot of that going on these days, where people have this idea that, fuck all these legal scholars.
00:36:47.000 I see the loophole, and I'm going to point this out in front of the judge, and it will be undeniable.
00:36:54.000 Bro, pay your taxes!
00:36:55.000 Who's going to fix the streets?
00:36:58.000 Because they listen to...
00:37:02.000 Usually people just want to be part of a larger thing, right?
00:37:05.000 So actually, most people are saying what was given to them.
00:37:11.000 And it feels good emotionally.
00:37:13.000 And one of the things as you get older that's really important to do is to always be willing not only to change your mind and admit that you probably...
00:37:21.000 You could be hopelessly wronged.
00:37:23.000 You could be completely wrong, but also to always be able to justify with reason and with measured argument your most cherished beliefs.
00:37:35.000 Because so much of who we are is what we believe.
00:37:38.000 So much of who we are is just where I stand politically.
00:37:42.000 All those things that I've worked hard to kind of come up with a comprehensive political and philosophical mooring to stand on.
00:37:52.000 Well, If I then relax and I listen and accept what's given to me without putting it through the grinder and really sitting down and testing it, then I'm guilty of being philosophically complacent and basically...
00:38:13.000 It's just you're a slave to your ego, right?
00:38:14.000 Yes.
00:38:15.000 You don't want to admit that you're wrong about things.
00:38:17.000 Yes.
00:38:17.000 But I think...
00:38:18.000 You can't be married to ideas.
00:38:21.000 Who you are is how you go through this life.
00:38:24.000 And it's how you go through this life now.
00:38:26.000 This is what's very important for people.
00:38:28.000 I try to talk about this as much as possible.
00:38:30.000 You can't get stuck in your past.
00:38:33.000 Because, like, mistakes that you made when you were a child can haunt you deep into adulthood.
00:38:39.000 Yes.
00:38:39.000 Because you decide that you're the person who got bullied after seventh grade and you're a loser and everybody hates you.
00:38:46.000 And those feelings, you can cling on to those fuckers and they'll weigh you down.
00:38:51.000 You can cling on to them and you can take them into your later life.
00:38:54.000 And I know people that are like, man, they're in their 60s.
00:38:57.000 There was this, this, uh, maybe you told me this.
00:39:03.000 Did you tell me the story about this dude who was like an older guy that was afraid to walk down a certain road because this other older guy who used to bully him in high school lived there?
00:39:13.000 No.
00:39:13.000 He didn't tell me this.
00:39:14.000 Somebody told me this and this guy was in his 60s and he was scared to go down this road because this guy lived there who used to bully him in high school and the guy still fucked with him.
00:39:24.000 Still fucked with him.
00:39:26.000 No way.
00:39:26.000 Bro, there's some people that get stuck like that, man.
00:39:28.000 Both of those guys.
00:39:30.000 That's why I think for a lot of guys, you know, walking into an MMA gym, it's terrifying.
00:39:35.000 But it's okay.
00:39:36.000 Everything, start with, you know, one tiny step.
00:39:40.000 And I like doing anything that makes me feel uncomfortable and takes me off my pins.
00:39:46.000 It's huge.
00:39:47.000 Because it opens up new pathways of understanding somehow.
00:39:52.000 So what I do now with people who I disagree with philosophically, you know, like say I'm talking to somebody who's a hardcore socialist or something like that.
00:40:01.000 It's okay.
00:40:01.000 But what I try to do is I just try to listen to them really...
00:40:07.000 I try to kind of zero in instead of like immediately throwing my hands up.
00:40:11.000 Did you see what Brittany Cummings said the other day?
00:40:14.000 Brittany Cummings or Whitney Cummings?
00:40:17.000 No.
00:40:17.000 Did I say Brittany?
00:40:18.000 Did I? I think I was slobbering.
00:40:22.000 It's okay.
00:40:22.000 Too much of that turmeric coffee.
00:40:24.000 That does.
00:40:25.000 People say, why are you coughing so much?
00:40:26.000 I don't want to tell the truth.
00:40:28.000 It's turmeric coffee.
00:40:29.000 You got a full mouth, bro.
00:40:30.000 You got a full mouth.
00:40:31.000 Wow.
00:40:33.000 Shit.
00:40:33.000 What was I just saying?
00:40:34.000 You said Whitney Cummings.
00:40:35.000 Oh.
00:40:36.000 She got reported to HR on a show she was on.
00:40:40.000 Because as she was leaving, she said, Merry Christmas!
00:40:43.000 Some intern.
00:40:44.000 No.
00:40:45.000 Yes.
00:40:45.000 Intern was offended.
00:40:47.000 Called human resources.
00:40:48.000 Because she said, Merry Christmas.
00:40:50.000 And her response was, she goes, Hey, I really don't give a fuck if you have a good Christmas.
00:40:54.000 It's just a nice thing to say.
00:40:55.000 Yeah.
00:40:56.000 I don't give a fuck about your Christmas.
00:40:57.000 I don't even know you.
00:40:59.000 Something that's really...
00:41:00.000 They reported her!
00:41:01.000 Something that's very fucking important for people to realize about the West.
00:41:05.000 Something that's really unique about the West and Western civilization.
00:41:07.000 Is that imperialism, racism...
00:41:12.000 Sexism, all these isms that we are guilty of.
00:41:16.000 The West didn't invent these things, but we were egregious violators in some cases of that.
00:41:23.000 Slavery was a real thing in this country.
00:41:26.000 But what's unique about the West, and I'm getting into this, is that we were the first to label it and condemn it.
00:41:35.000 The West has always been a country that seems always to be in the process of repenting for its past, repenting for its sins.
00:41:42.000 That is not common.
00:41:44.000 That is unique.
00:41:46.000 And self-criticism is part of it.
00:41:48.000 As a society, we are...
00:41:51.000 So people like that silly girl who...
00:41:53.000 That's been going on, actually, in one way or another for a long time.
00:41:57.000 The intern?
00:41:58.000 Yes, now it's way more.
00:42:00.000 I don't know if it was a girl or a boy.
00:42:01.000 Now it's a little bit more.
00:42:03.000 It's way more.
00:42:04.000 But that's actually to the character of this country.
00:42:07.000 We have always had people who kind of went, you know, that's wrong.
00:42:15.000 I don't want to do that.
00:42:17.000 This isn't fair.
00:42:18.000 All that kind of stuff.
00:42:19.000 And it was a fucking...
00:42:21.000 It would always cause all kinds of problems.
00:42:23.000 But that's extreme.
00:42:24.000 That's a silly goose.
00:42:25.000 Whoever's doing that is dumb.
00:42:26.000 Well, it's Hollywood.
00:42:27.000 There's a Hollywood thing where these people can't be liberal enough.
00:42:30.000 They're trying so hard to be progressive that they're just becoming ridiculous.
00:42:34.000 Yeah, I know.
00:42:34.000 But they get so reactionary, and everyone's scared that they're going to be out of the woke loop.
00:42:39.000 Like, maybe they're behind.
00:42:41.000 They're letting something slide that they should have stepped up for.
00:42:43.000 Because now you can get in trouble if you don't come out against someone saying Merry Christmas.
00:42:48.000 Yeah.
00:43:06.000 Yeah.
00:43:08.000 And they were like, well, we don't like the term supremacy because it reminds people of white supremacy.
00:43:12.000 Do you know what I think about those people?
00:43:14.000 Do you know what I think about a lot of those people?
00:43:16.000 They're young, they're not experienced, and they're not that bright.
00:43:22.000 I'm sorry.
00:43:22.000 Well, this is the thing is they are bright.
00:43:24.000 They just aren't wise.
00:43:26.000 They're very smart, and they know they are, which is one of the reasons why they want to make an argument to push something like that through and think that it makes sense.
00:43:33.000 It's because they're so smart.
00:43:35.000 But what they're not is, is you get seasoned by your interactions with human beings.
00:43:41.000 You're naive when you're younger, and then as you get older, you get seasoned.
00:43:45.000 Your mind changes.
00:43:46.000 But you also get seasoned, meaning you experience so many different human beings that exhibit these sort of stereotypes and these patterns of behavior.
00:43:56.000 And you've got to know when people are being knuckleheads, and you've got to know when people are being wise and objective, and you've got to know when people are being kind and loving, and you've got to know when people are being assholes.
00:44:05.000 You can see all the different things.
00:44:07.000 As you get older, you get more data.
00:44:10.000 And a lot of these kids are like 20. They're 22 and they're yelling about the world.
00:44:15.000 Like that Greta Thornburg chick, she's 16. She's a kid.
00:44:20.000 Listen, you've got some good points, but they're using you now.
00:44:24.000 Well, what happens is as you get older and you try to solve problems at the level of detail.
00:44:28.000 So if you and I had to really solve some problems, let's say healthcare, you and I. I'm not solving it.
00:44:34.000 Sure.
00:44:34.000 If we had to try, right?
00:44:36.000 What would happen is we might come with more of a Republican or a Democratic or a Liberal or a Conservative sensibility initially.
00:44:42.000 I think once you get down to the level of detail and you're trying to solve these problems, all that ideology kind of goes out the window because now you're dealing with hard numbers and math and you're trying to deal in percentages and you're trying to deal with what's the best policy for the most number of people.
00:44:56.000 And so it becomes way grayer and way less teamy.
00:45:03.000 You are somebody that has to solve problems.
00:45:05.000 If you are somebody who has to turn a profit, if you're somebody who has to figure out what your clientele actually will buy, and I think sometimes that's why people who own businesses and people who have to make the trains run on time have a different philosophical and political point of view Right.
00:45:47.000 Come from that world.
00:45:48.000 They come straight from that world of theory.
00:45:51.000 That world of...
00:45:52.000 That intellectual pursuit.
00:45:54.000 And they come right into...
00:45:56.000 Then they see the world.
00:45:58.000 And I think that might be why a lot of times people in the media tend to be a little bit more ideological.
00:46:04.000 Maybe a little bit more liberal, depending.
00:46:07.000 Because you could say Fox News is just as fucking ideological on the other side.
00:46:11.000 But I do think your perspective changes when you have to...
00:46:16.000 Get down to business.
00:46:17.000 When you're out there in the real world.
00:46:19.000 It's like fighting.
00:46:20.000 It's like fighting.
00:46:21.000 You need both, though.
00:46:22.000 And this is what I think we need to make this distinction.
00:46:25.000 You need these quantum theorists.
00:46:27.000 You need these historians.
00:46:27.000 You need these people that are just completely engaged in whatever the subject is at hand.
00:46:33.000 And they're just lifelong academics.
00:46:36.000 You need both.
00:46:37.000 You need both.
00:46:38.000 But the real problem is when people come out of these universities and they have these sort of hard-line ideas of how the world needs to change.
00:46:48.000 They're revolutionaries.
00:46:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:50.000 It's very exciting.
00:46:51.000 It's very exciting.
00:46:52.000 And they want to burn down the whole building.
00:46:54.000 And then you start looking for witches, okay?
00:46:56.000 And then you start going, that bitch said Merry Christmas.
00:46:58.000 And that's what that is.
00:46:59.000 That's what's nuts.
00:47:00.000 Google's calling it quantum supremacy.
00:47:02.000 Can you fucking believe this shit?
00:47:04.000 Like, yeah, we've got to burn it down.
00:47:05.000 Burn it down.
00:47:06.000 Yeah, a lot of it is being young.
00:47:08.000 But young people can do some, when they get together, the communist revolution was, you know.
00:47:13.000 This is also why discourse is so important, right?
00:47:16.000 Like young people need to talk to other people.
00:47:18.000 You know, like a lot of these people with these ideas are one day going to laugh at those ideas.
00:47:22.000 They're one going to look back and go, oh my god, when I was 20, I was so stupid.
00:47:25.000 Just like you have done, just like I have done, just like basically everybody does as they get older.
00:47:30.000 You start thinking, oh my god, when I was 18, what a fucking moron I was.
00:47:33.000 Oh my god, when I was 24, you want to hear the stupid shit I thought I should do?
00:47:36.000 I mean, that's part of life.
00:47:38.000 You also have to realize that historically, that thing I sent you, people ask me what I read and stuff.
00:47:43.000 If you go to audible.com and go to the great courses, I listen to these courses.
00:47:48.000 I just listen to 48 lectures by a guy named Robert Buchholz, who's this fucking amazing professor on the foundations of Western civilization.
00:47:55.000 One of the things he says in it is he said...
00:47:58.000 Europeans, the history of Europe, culminating with World War I and World War II, as bloody and as violent, it's beyond what we can imagine.
00:48:06.000 How many millions were killed in World War II? It's beyond what we can imagine.
00:48:11.000 But Europeans figured out...
00:48:14.000 And it's a huge accomplishment, and really the first time in history for anybody.
00:48:18.000 They figured out how to solve their differences without killing each other.
00:48:22.000 And that happened after World War II. And it took that long.
00:48:26.000 They actually figured out a way to solve their differences by disagreeing, by fighting about it, by fighting dirty, but by winning elections and stuff.
00:48:35.000 Here's a question.
00:48:36.000 The war in Europe, all the countries involved, What was the size of the landscape we're looking at in relationship to the United States?
00:48:45.000 When you look at France, Germany, and England, what is that?
00:48:49.000 Well, it wasn't just France, Germany, and England.
00:48:52.000 Oh yeah, but I'm talking about all of those.
00:48:53.000 It was Russia.
00:48:54.000 Russia, I think, is five time zones, right?
00:48:56.000 Russia's giant.
00:48:57.000 Russia's a different animal, right?
00:48:58.000 Because Russia is, you know, that's Asia.
00:49:00.000 Yeah, and Russia would just rely on old General Winter.
00:49:04.000 But the European aspect of it, the European part of World War I and II, what I was thinking is it's almost like having a war inside America, right?
00:49:13.000 Yeah.
00:49:14.000 I mean, it's really close.
00:49:15.000 I think if you take France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Poland, all those areas.
00:49:25.000 They fit in Rhode Island.
00:49:26.000 Oh.
00:49:26.000 Hungary, Austria, Bulgaria, Romania, Yugoslavia, back then.
00:49:32.000 Tough those in Florida.
00:49:33.000 How big is that area?
00:49:37.000 Give me one minute.
00:49:39.000 That's a lot of Googling.
00:49:40.000 I found a thing that, like, World War I maps, 40 maps that explain World War I. World War I's a different thing, too.
00:49:47.000 That's what you're talking about, right?
00:49:49.000 World War II. Two is the whole world.
00:49:52.000 Yeah, two is everything, right?
00:49:53.000 Remember, World War I, the Ottoman Empire was crumbling, right?
00:49:56.000 So Turkey's empire was crumbling.
00:49:58.000 So Turkey got the Middle East involved.
00:50:00.000 The British were, you know...
00:50:03.000 Were involved in the Middle East.
00:50:04.000 They were fighting the Turks.
00:50:05.000 That whole area became theater for war.
00:50:09.000 Dude, I'm on my third Wild West book in the last couple weeks.
00:50:15.000 Really?
00:50:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:50:16.000 About the history of the Wild West.
00:50:18.000 Let me tell you this one.
00:50:18.000 It's a Blood and Thunder.
00:50:20.000 Yeah.
00:50:21.000 Blood and Thunder, an epic tale of the American West.
00:50:26.000 It's about Kit Carson and the Mountain Man.
00:50:28.000 Yeah.
00:50:29.000 Bro.
00:50:29.000 Bro.
00:50:30.000 Rough dudes.
00:50:31.000 Bro!
00:50:32.000 Just the wars with all the various tribes and the chaos and the way they would kill people.
00:50:39.000 Oh my god, it's so crazy!
00:50:42.000 The Native Americans?
00:50:43.000 Oh yeah!
00:50:44.000 Dude, one of these stories that I was reading, I don't think it was this one, it wasn't the Kit Carson one, it was...
00:50:52.000 The one on General Custer.
00:50:55.000 General Custer was the last one, which was Son of the Morning Star.
00:50:59.000 That was the last one that I was reading.
00:51:01.000 Bro.
00:51:02.000 This one guy, a Native American guy, wants to fuck this other guy's wife.
00:51:07.000 So he tries to get him.
00:51:10.000 He can't get him.
00:51:11.000 Eventually he finds him one day.
00:51:12.000 Kills him.
00:51:13.000 Eats his heart.
00:51:14.000 Cooks his heart.
00:51:15.000 Comes back and tells everybody, then marries the lady.
00:51:18.000 Well, you gotta eat a man's heart because you impose his will on him.
00:51:20.000 Imagine you're married, you're a woman, you're married to a guy, and this other dude wants to fuck you.
00:51:25.000 He kills your husband and eats his heart.
00:51:28.000 And then you say, get in this teepee, big boy.
00:51:31.000 That's pretty fucking gangster.
00:51:33.000 That's pretty fucking gangster.
00:51:33.000 Because the guy loved you, and I'm gonna eat his heart, I'm gonna eat his love for you.
00:51:37.000 He cut two fingers off of his hand because he couldn't get to her and he loved her so much.
00:51:42.000 Damn.
00:51:43.000 And he was angry that he couldn't kill her.
00:51:45.000 Did he win her over?
00:51:46.000 Well, he must have won her over.
00:51:47.000 He cut two fingers off his hand before he got to her.
00:51:50.000 Damn.
00:51:50.000 And then found the guy after he cut two fingers off his hand.
00:51:53.000 Yeah.
00:51:53.000 Killed the guy.
00:51:54.000 Yeah.
00:51:55.000 Ate his fucking heart.
00:51:56.000 Sure.
00:51:56.000 Cooked it.
00:51:56.000 Came back, told everybody.
00:51:58.000 Like, ate most of the heart.
00:51:59.000 Yeah, that's a stalker.
00:52:00.000 That's a stage five stalker?
00:52:03.000 Or does that go beyond?
00:52:04.000 Yeah.
00:52:05.000 Past.
00:52:06.000 I'm going to eat his heart.
00:52:07.000 Eight is hard.
00:52:08.000 You remember when we used to have those terrorism colors?
00:52:12.000 Like, today's yellow.
00:52:13.000 No worries.
00:52:14.000 Remember it was a flag?
00:52:15.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:52:16.000 This is it?
00:52:17.000 The Battlefronts of Europe?
00:52:18.000 Yeah, this was from 1917. A paper in London made this.
00:52:21.000 This is explaining the battle area, battle zones.
00:52:26.000 Oh, so all of it fit in the center of the country.
00:52:28.000 Right, and they compared it even miles.
00:52:30.000 Goddamn, dude.
00:52:31.000 Just imagine if that shit was going on in the center of the country.
00:52:34.000 If Montana was at war with Wyoming and Colorado.
00:52:37.000 It was all trench warfare, too.
00:52:40.000 World War is really interesting because there are some parallels now.
00:52:43.000 World War I, if you look at World War I, it was a time when, first of all, Europe hadn't been to war for 100 years.
00:52:53.000 So when people went into war in World War I... They went in, every young man volunteered and even women volunteered to be nurses and to cook.
00:53:04.000 They were singing songs and they were going to be gone for two weeks and it was going to be really exciting and it was romantic.
00:53:11.000 And no one, including the soldiers, really understood the technology.
00:53:17.000 Like machine guns and that kind of technology and mustard gas.
00:53:22.000 They didn't know.
00:53:23.000 They were still fighting the way they had been fighting for millennia, which was on horseback, feathers in their helmets, and charging with great bravery.
00:53:34.000 And so what happened was they would charge and the other side would open up with machine guns and artillery and then ultimately poison gas.
00:53:44.000 And so the numbers are too staggering to even imagine, but for 800 yards to try to capture that much land or whatever...
00:53:55.000 They would lose, they lost something like 300,000 men in a day.
00:54:00.000 And that's what was going on.
00:54:01.000 They were just getting mowed down.
00:54:03.000 Not that many?
00:54:03.000 Oh, dude, the numbers are crazy!
00:54:05.000 The Battle of the Somme, I can't remember what it was.
00:54:07.000 It was beyond, like, the number of men that were lost per foot.
00:54:10.000 I remember I had to ask three times because I couldn't believe it.
00:54:13.000 And because they were just, so your arrogant commanders would blow a whistle.
00:54:19.000 Sometimes they would kick a soccer ball.
00:54:22.000 And you would follow the soccer ball over the ditch and run.
00:54:26.000 As they were shooting at you.
00:54:27.000 Uh-huh.
00:54:27.000 And if you didn't, you'd be tried for cowardice.
00:54:31.000 Sometimes you'd be shot by your commanding officer in the back of your head.
00:54:34.000 Because remember, a lot of these armies were conscripted.
00:54:37.000 They were brought in against their will.
00:54:39.000 This was the time of imperialism when the country that was bigger and stronger, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austria itself, would come in and say, you belong to us now.
00:54:48.000 There were these secret alliances that would happen.
00:54:52.000 Yeah.
00:55:08.000 And groaning, but nobody could get to them.
00:55:10.000 It was the fucking, it was the worst, man.
00:55:12.000 It was the worst.
00:55:13.000 And in those trenches, the body parts and everything, and then people would have to go to the bathroom there, and then the rain would come.
00:55:20.000 You were living in a gutter.
00:55:21.000 It was beyond what people can imagine.
00:55:23.000 It was beyond.
00:55:24.000 It was the most horrific thing.
00:55:25.000 And the only thing that was worse was something called World War II, which is essentially a continuation of that first European Civil War.
00:55:35.000 I don't know, man.
00:55:37.000 It's beyond what we can do.
00:55:38.000 We're so fucking lucky we don't live in a time like that.
00:55:40.000 Less than 100 years ago.
00:55:41.000 Yes, sir.
00:55:41.000 Less than 100 years ago.
00:55:43.000 Inside of one person's lifetime, Ari's dad is a Holocaust survivor.
00:55:50.000 Ari Shafir's dad is a fucking Holocaust survivor.
00:55:55.000 That's how close it is.
00:55:56.000 And that all came from this idea back then that you could perfect society and perfect human beings.
00:56:03.000 Six-inch howitzer.
00:56:04.000 Yeah.
00:56:05.000 That's a mountain howitzer.
00:56:06.000 This is where ideas can be so dangerous.
00:56:10.000 This idea that human beings are a blank slate and that you can make them anything you want.
00:56:15.000 You can re-educate them in a camp and they'll be what you want.
00:56:19.000 This is the history of...
00:56:21.000 Of Europe.
00:56:22.000 And those ideas lost ground.
00:56:24.000 That's why the individual, it's so fucking important for the individual to take precedence over the state.
00:56:30.000 This is also why it's so important for people to be able to express themselves.
00:56:33.000 That's what I mean.
00:56:34.000 And for people to, you know...
00:56:36.000 But fidelity to the state in a fascist society in communist Russia, fidelity to the state, the collective, must be...
00:56:45.000 It's superior to the individual.
00:56:47.000 The individual, you're a tiny leaf on a tree.
00:56:49.000 If you have a society like that, somebody's going to run that.
00:56:53.000 Somebody's going to set that doctrine and they will justify killing 20, 30 million people the way Stalin did.
00:56:59.000 And they'll say that they're doing it for the country.
00:57:00.000 Sure.
00:57:01.000 There's so many patterns like that that just repeat themselves over and over again with human beings in power.
00:57:06.000 You know, Hitler, by many accounts, seemed to genuinely enjoy World War I. He enjoyed it.
00:57:14.000 And then he got blinded by mustard glass and he couldn't believe Germany surrendered.
00:57:20.000 He couldn't believe it.
00:57:21.000 And a German physician, there's one record of the German physician characterizing Hitler as follows.
00:57:27.000 Again, this is from Buchholz's lectures.
00:57:29.000 It said...
00:57:31.000 He goes, this person is not fit to command humans and is dangerously psychotic.
00:57:42.000 And because of a lot of crazy reasons, he was able to join the Nazi...
00:57:48.000 He actually started as a minder for the German army.
00:57:55.000 What's a minder?
00:57:55.000 So a guy who spied on subversive groups...
00:58:00.000 Oh, like a rat.
00:58:02.000 Yeah, revolutionary groups.
00:58:04.000 That's how he came across the Nationalist Socialist Party.
00:58:07.000 He was a narc.
00:58:07.000 The National Socialist Party.
00:58:08.000 Yeah, the Nazis.
00:58:11.000 But kind of went, you know what?
00:58:13.000 I like what these guys are saying.
00:58:14.000 Yeah!
00:58:15.000 So he joined?
00:58:16.000 Yes!
00:58:17.000 I want fucking war!
00:58:18.000 So that's like if you had an undercover FBI agent and he became one of the Hell's Angels and took over the organization.
00:58:23.000 Yeah.
00:58:23.000 Because he took over.
00:58:25.000 Right.
00:58:25.000 But World War II, the crazy thing about right before World War II, everything, like today, so you never notice how today, we can't agree on really even source material.
00:58:37.000 If you have an argument with something, you go, where'd you get your information?
00:58:39.000 CNN? What?
00:58:40.000 Or Fox News?
00:58:42.000 You fucking, you know.
00:58:43.000 And the conversation, you can't even start.
00:58:44.000 Right.
00:58:45.000 Right.
00:58:45.000 Because we don't have...
00:58:46.000 Now we're talking about a simulation, maybe this whole thing, maybe you and I are just self-replicating machines.
00:58:51.000 You know what?
00:58:52.000 So nobody really knows at this point.
00:58:55.000 It's really hard to arrive at a fixed point of truth.
00:58:57.000 Right.
00:58:58.000 Back in the day, the Bible was your fixed point of truth, maybe Aristotle, but at the turn of the century, like right before World War I, you had Darwin come along, you had Freud who said something to the effect of,
00:59:15.000 hey, we're animals and we will kill and use each other as sexual tools if we don't have a strong society.
00:59:24.000 There were all these There were all these sort of new Nietzsche, Marx, who said God is dead.
00:59:31.000 Nietzsche said God is dead, but Marx basically said religion is the opium of the masses.
00:59:36.000 Human beings are the masters of their own fate.
00:59:39.000 And all of these guys who basically took God out of the equation And all of them were basically saying that we are animals, and God is no longer here.
00:59:49.000 We're animals, and if you don't create a society to control our animalistic impulses, we're going to fucking slaughter and rape each other.
00:59:56.000 And World War I proved all of those guys right, basically.
01:00:00.000 But it was a time when everything was up in the air.
01:00:05.000 Einstein comes along and says, time and space, not so fast.
01:00:08.000 It's actually relative.
01:00:10.000 And everybody went, what?
01:00:12.000 Huh?
01:00:12.000 He goes, yeah, time doesn't exist like a stopwatch.
01:00:15.000 God didn't start a stopwatch, and that's what Newton said.
01:00:18.000 Good luck trying to work your way through that.
01:00:20.000 You can't.
01:00:21.000 It confused everybody.
01:00:22.000 If you go fast enough into space and then come back, everybody here will be old and you'll be the same age.
01:00:27.000 Do you know how that works?
01:00:29.000 Yeah, I do.
01:00:30.000 But it's still, like, what?
01:00:32.000 It's really weird.
01:00:33.000 Do you know, I think this is true.
01:00:35.000 This is what I read.
01:00:36.000 He was walking, he was like in, where was he, CERN, Switzerland, or whatever the fuck it is.
01:00:41.000 He gets off the, he's trying to come up with these, he's thinking about the theory of relativity or whatever.
01:00:46.000 And he gets off the train, and he's walking.
01:00:51.000 Away from the train station, he turns and looks at the clock, and the clock says, let's say, 6 o'clock.
01:00:58.000 He turns and looks at the clock, and he turns back around, and he stops, and he goes, wait, hold on.
01:01:02.000 I was walking away from the clock.
01:01:05.000 So when I saw the clock, it said 6, but that's how long it took the light to get to my eye.
01:01:11.000 By the time the light hit my eye, it was actually later.
01:01:15.000 Because the light has to hit my eye for me.
01:01:18.000 Do you understand?
01:01:18.000 A fraction of a second later.
01:01:20.000 So he said, what if I was moving it to the speed of light?
01:01:23.000 Time would stand still.
01:01:25.000 Because the light would never hit my eye.
01:01:27.000 It's a weird thing to say, but I was like, that's a fucking...
01:01:30.000 Yeah, but I wonder if that works with biological aging.
01:01:32.000 I wonder if biological aging is on a constant, right?
01:01:35.000 Oh, that's interesting.
01:01:36.000 Entropy, right?
01:01:38.000 Well, I know that time would be different, right?
01:01:41.000 Right.
01:01:41.000 But I wonder, like when you say time stands still, but it's got to exist if you're alive.
01:01:47.000 It's got to exist somehow biologically.
01:01:49.000 Your body's not going to stop heart beating and breathing, right?
01:01:53.000 So how many heartbeats do you have in you?
01:01:55.000 I mean, that's part of what life is.
01:01:57.000 Life is like you've got a limited number of heartbeats if you wanted to really break it down.
01:02:00.000 How many of them are you going to use while you're going through light speed?
01:02:03.000 Those don't count?
01:02:04.000 I know.
01:02:04.000 Your heart's going to beat, right?
01:02:06.000 Right.
01:02:06.000 So how long is it actually going to take in real time down on earth while you're up there?
01:02:10.000 I don't know.
01:02:11.000 I think it's going to be like where you're moving so fast that it feels like 10 minutes because it is 10 minutes to you.
01:02:17.000 And then you come back.
01:02:18.000 You've only aged 10 minutes, but it might be 10 years down here.
01:02:21.000 Well, didn't you have somebody on your podcast?
01:02:25.000 They were talking about what ages you.
01:02:29.000 The reason we look older than we did 25 years ago is because of entropy.
01:02:33.000 So things mix and you can't unmix them.
01:02:38.000 What's the matter, John?
01:02:38.000 I just listened to this book about time, and these concepts just came up sort of that you're talking about.
01:02:43.000 After the whole book, I was more confused about time, to be honest with you.
01:02:47.000 Fuck, dude, I don't know.
01:02:48.000 It's called The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli.
01:02:50.000 By the way, that's a great name.
01:02:52.000 Carlo Rovelli.
01:02:54.000 It's like if you were a chick and your friend was going to introduce you to a guy and his name was Carlo Rovelli.
01:03:01.000 My name is Carlo.
01:03:02.000 Carlo Rovelli.
01:03:02.000 He's a New York Times selling author, bestseller.
01:03:05.000 You'd be like, ooh.
01:03:06.000 And he plays jazz at night.
01:03:07.000 Oh, for sure.
01:03:08.000 He goes to see jazz.
01:03:09.000 Yeah, he'll smoke one clove cigarette a month.
01:03:12.000 According to this book, time works different, like, up higher than it does lower.
01:03:16.000 For instance, if you had two synchronized clocks, even on the top of this table in the ground, they would not be synced up over a certain amount of time.
01:03:25.000 Why?
01:03:25.000 Because this is what Carlo Rovelli?
01:03:28.000 Time moves slower at sea level.
01:03:30.000 So if you live at sea level, you will live longer than people that live higher.
01:03:34.000 Okay.
01:03:34.000 That's because the oxygen is much...
01:03:37.000 I want to be fucking Italian so badly, dude.
01:03:39.000 Or Spanish.
01:03:40.000 You have a lot of Italian in you.
01:03:41.000 I know.
01:03:42.000 What percentage do you have in you?
01:03:43.000 I'm 51%.
01:03:44.000 51%.
01:03:45.000 But I want to speak this way.
01:03:46.000 No, I want to be romantic.
01:03:47.000 There's something about being born like...
01:03:51.000 In a country that has like a long, rich tradition.
01:03:55.000 I know.
01:03:55.000 You know, if you're born somewhere, like if you're born in Spain, you know, and your grandfather was a bullfighter, you're born in Spain.
01:04:03.000 I love a flair for the dramatic, you know.
01:04:05.000 Barcelona.
01:04:06.000 Barcelona.
01:04:07.000 Yeah, you got a fa.
01:04:08.000 I remember I was a young man.
01:04:10.000 I was like 19. I was at fucking Club Med with my family.
01:04:14.000 And just the girls and everything.
01:04:16.000 And there was this hot as shit, like CrossFit.
01:04:19.000 She wasn't doing CrossFit, but she looked like it.
01:04:21.000 She wasn't such an athlete.
01:04:22.000 And I've always liked muscular, you know.
01:04:24.000 And I'm looking at him.
01:04:25.000 This guy, he was from Italy.
01:04:26.000 I remember he was...
01:04:27.000 And I never forgot.
01:04:28.000 He just goes like this.
01:04:29.000 He goes, I go, she's beautiful.
01:04:32.000 And he goes, she is too beautiful, you know.
01:04:34.000 I die for her.
01:04:35.000 I die for her.
01:04:36.000 I'd die for her.
01:04:37.000 And I was like, I want to be you, man!
01:04:40.000 I want to say that once in my fucking life.
01:04:42.000 I'd die for her.
01:04:42.000 Well, have you ever watched that show Vikings?
01:04:44.000 You ever see that show Vikings?
01:04:46.000 It's a fun show.
01:04:47.000 It's actually a very good show.
01:04:48.000 Very underrated show.
01:04:50.000 A lot of people get fucked up and killed.
01:04:52.000 But one of the things that I was thinking, and a lot of it happens in Rome, a lot of it happens in Europe, a lot of crazy shit with the Vikings.
01:04:57.000 But while I was watching it, I was thinking, those people had kids, and their people had kids, and their people had kids, and their kids have iPhones.
01:05:06.000 Like, it's not that long ago, and those people that live in that part of the world, those people that live in Ireland, and those people that live in Great Britain, and a lot of that area, like, a lot of the folks who lived there are the ancestors of these people that lived this insane history.
01:05:23.000 Insane history of warfare with swords and shields and shit.
01:05:26.000 These motherfuckers.
01:05:27.000 That's the movie.
01:05:28.000 Or that's the show rather.
01:05:30.000 It's a good show, man.
01:05:31.000 Hey, whatever happened to one of my favorite UFC fighters who's a Valhalla Viking motherfucker?
01:05:36.000 The guy, he's from Sweden, shredded out of his mind.
01:05:40.000 Which guy?
01:05:42.000 Emile Meek?
01:05:43.000 Yeah.
01:05:43.000 He fought at 170?
01:05:45.000 Yeah.
01:05:46.000 He's a beast.
01:05:47.000 He's a rock and roller, too?
01:05:49.000 I think he's supposed to say Mech.
01:05:49.000 He plays the guitar, too?
01:05:52.000 I think he's pronounced his name Mech.
01:05:53.000 Do you get more shredded than that?
01:05:55.000 He's a fucking gorilla.
01:05:56.000 And he's super strong, too.
01:05:58.000 Yeah.
01:05:58.000 Very good fighter.
01:05:59.000 I don't know what's going on with him.
01:06:00.000 I haven't seen him in a while.
01:06:01.000 Classic Viking.
01:06:03.000 He was at the event last weekend, so...
01:06:04.000 When was his last fight?
01:06:06.000 When did he have a fight last?
01:06:07.000 Wow, I feel.
01:06:08.000 Yeah, it's been...
01:06:09.000 Well, you know, sometimes these dudes, they'll hurt something, and, you know, they're out for, like, Cub Swanson just tore his ACL. I know.
01:06:16.000 And, yeah, he's going to be out for almost a year.
01:06:19.000 That sucks.
01:06:19.000 He's scheduled to fight in February.
01:06:21.000 Oh, he is?
01:06:21.000 Okay.
01:06:22.000 Who's he fighting?
01:06:23.000 Jake Matthews.
01:06:23.000 Oh, that's a good fight.
01:06:24.000 Hmm.
01:06:26.000 Yeah, Cub was in a grappling match against Jake Shields, who's a fucking huge guy.
01:06:31.000 He's quite a bit bigger than Cub.
01:06:32.000 Yeah, Jake's huge.
01:06:33.000 He's a sick grappler.
01:06:35.000 And Jake had his legs laced up, and Cub was trying to work his way out of it, and just a freak thing.
01:06:39.000 It just popped.
01:06:41.000 And his knee and his meniscus, his ACL, blew out, and he just got surgery on it.
01:06:46.000 Jake used me as a dummy once.
01:06:47.000 I would say I rolled with him, but he used me as a dummy.
01:06:51.000 I said, why'd you beat me up so bad?
01:06:52.000 He didn't know me.
01:06:53.000 He goes, I didn't know if you were good.
01:06:54.000 I don't want you to get a position that you talk about on your podcast.
01:06:57.000 I was like, hey dude, I'm a fucking, I'm an actor and I have a vagina.
01:07:02.000 So he was trying to hurt you?
01:07:02.000 No, he just had to make sure that I was one with the mat though.
01:07:06.000 Oh, press.
01:07:07.000 Make sure that I was, get in the mat, let's go ahead and get your fucking face against, let me go, well I gotta clean the mat, a little dirty, so let me just, you know.
01:07:15.000 Well, he's a competitor professionally.
01:07:17.000 He doesn't have no time to be fake rolling with people.
01:07:19.000 No, don't fuck around.
01:07:20.000 Every role he has, he's a pro.
01:07:23.000 I had no business being on the mat with him.
01:07:24.000 He's still doing really competitive grappling, too.
01:07:28.000 Have you ever hung with him?
01:07:29.000 He's really smart.
01:07:31.000 He's a very good guy.
01:07:31.000 But he's also intellectually curious.
01:07:33.000 Jake does a lot of reading.
01:07:36.000 I have very good conversations with Jake.
01:07:38.000 Really smart guy.
01:07:39.000 Super good grappler.
01:07:40.000 He submitted Mark Munoz at that event, too.
01:07:43.000 Yeah, Jake's legit.
01:07:45.000 And I've seen him in grappling competitions long before he ever fought in the UFC. I feel like Mark was 318 pounds in his last...
01:07:54.000 He hasn't been missing any meals.
01:07:56.000 Mark looks big.
01:07:58.000 Yeah, I don't know how much you weigh.
01:07:59.000 He definitely is not in tip-top-goo shape.
01:08:02.000 I'm sorry, Mark, if somebody was joking.
01:08:04.000 Maybe you're not that heavy.
01:08:05.000 Yeah, that's Cubs.
01:08:06.000 See, they're laced up like this, and as he's moving there, his knee just popped.
01:08:11.000 Oh, that's not good.
01:08:12.000 That's awful.
01:08:13.000 It can happen, man, in weird ways when you have legs tangled up like that.
01:08:18.000 Sometimes someone will just lean one way and it puts a lot of pressure on your knee and it just explodes.
01:08:23.000 Jake might be the toughest vegan on the planet.
01:08:25.000 He's not a vegan.
01:08:26.000 He's a vegetarian.
01:08:26.000 He eats eggs.
01:08:27.000 I enjoyed that...
01:08:30.000 Game Changers with Chris Kresser and Wilkes.
01:08:33.000 It's a little bit like listening to a Protestant and a Catholic argue over the minutia of how to worship God, like they both believe in God, or like a Sunni and a Shia.
01:08:45.000 It was very interesting in that sense, like how human beings get steeped in...
01:08:50.000 Too much information, and then we'll start parsing out stuff that's not that helpful to the listener?
01:08:55.000 Well, it's a long conversation.
01:08:57.000 The conversation about health is very long.
01:08:58.000 And unfortunately, when Chris was talking about the game changers, he got several things wrong.
01:09:05.000 Particularly, the big ones were the amount of protein that you can get in peanut butter, the amount of protein that's in bread, and whether or not that is equal to three ounces of ground meat.
01:09:15.000 Right.
01:09:15.000 And what Wilkes was showing is that it is.
01:09:18.000 And he made his point very well.
01:09:19.000 And that made Chris, his argument, not look very good.
01:09:22.000 And then there was the other problem where Chris Kresser sort of personally defined what he defines as low-carb versus medium-carb versus high-carb and wasn't making a distinction that this is not the consensus amongst nutritionists.
01:09:39.000 What they consider low-carb, medium-carb, or high-carb.
01:09:42.000 James accused him of that, Chris denied it, and then James pulled out all of these different articles that show that he has a different version of what he calls low-carb, medium-carb, or high-carb.
01:09:51.000 The problem with all this is he's just making Chris look bad, and he's not necessarily proving that a vegetarian or vegan diet's better for you.
01:09:59.000 But he is, rightly, pointing out that he was wrongly criticized.
01:10:03.000 So, I get his position.
01:10:06.000 I was very impressed with his James' ability to come prepared.
01:10:10.000 Very prepared.
01:10:10.000 I do believe he spent 3,000 hours.
01:10:13.000 I mean an hour, a thousand hours.
01:10:14.000 I believe that.
01:10:15.000 Yeah, I believe that now.
01:10:16.000 He knows his shit.
01:10:17.000 After talking to him about this and the way he handled it.
01:10:20.000 But I kept going back to what Chris was saying, which was, hey, hey, hey, I believe in plants.
01:10:25.000 I eat mostly plants.
01:10:27.000 A little animal products, some animal products, it's an easier way to get B1. Yes, but that's the problem.
01:10:34.000 It's not going to kill you.
01:10:35.000 That's the problem with doing a documentary, and then that's a problem with someone criticizing the documentary.
01:10:42.000 You know, it's like...
01:10:43.000 But the documentary...
01:10:44.000 He's got enough stuff that he can say you were inaccurate with the criticism.
01:10:50.000 So then we get lost in the argument.
01:10:52.000 Like, is meat bad for you?
01:10:55.000 Is it like...
01:10:55.000 And that's the main question.
01:10:56.000 It's not.
01:10:57.000 No.
01:10:57.000 That's the problem.
01:10:58.000 Neither is dairy.
01:11:00.000 Right.
01:11:15.000 This is not the case with meat.
01:11:17.000 No.
01:11:33.000 Well, if someone is going to be conscientious and think about, even if they're incorrect and they just assume that the science says that eating meat is bad for you, you start eating more fish or more chicken or more vegetables.
01:11:44.000 You clean up your diet.
01:11:46.000 I bet, just statistically, those people have less drinking.
01:11:49.000 I bet, statistically, they have less cigarette smoking.
01:11:51.000 They're probably healthier on the whole because they're making choices that, even if it's incorrect, they think are good for you, like not eating meat or as much meat.
01:12:00.000 But as a non-nutritionist who has no shit, when I watched Game Changers, I have to say that it did seem like the narrative, the story of the movie, was that being a vegan is better for you for all these reasons,
01:12:19.000 all these scientific reasons, than eating any meat.
01:12:23.000 For me, it was a vegan thing.
01:12:26.000 Even though James would probably disagree with that, for me, just as a viewer, the argument was being made that being a vegan, from just what I got, regardless of what it was meant, I got that being a vegan is better for you.
01:12:39.000 It keeps your dick hard.
01:12:41.000 You won't die of cancer.
01:12:42.000 You'll have less inflammation.
01:12:44.000 More endurance.
01:12:45.000 More endurance.
01:12:46.000 All of which seemed, you know, I talked to Lane Norton about this for a while.
01:12:50.000 He had written this thing.
01:12:52.000 I don't know if he said it.
01:12:54.000 Oh, okay.
01:13:24.000 Defend the criticism.
01:13:25.000 I respect James.
01:13:26.000 He did it right.
01:13:27.000 The problem was we didn't get any closer at the end.
01:13:29.000 There was some confusion that was about whether or not it is healthy or not healthy to eat meat.
01:13:37.000 He was citing some studies and Kresser was saying those studies aren't valid because of this and that.
01:13:42.000 That's where we would have been, if we had a guy like Lane Norton in here, it would have helped a lot.
01:13:46.000 We would have someone actually explain it.
01:13:48.000 But you could also have a guy who comes in and goes, hey guys, here's the thing, man.
01:13:52.000 Let's just look at cultures that live a long time and have vibrant lives and good lives.
01:13:57.000 Some of it is like I'd like to look at the blue zones who eat meat and a lot of times they eat some form of dairy and they drink.
01:14:03.000 They have good communities.
01:14:05.000 They don't retire.
01:14:06.000 There's a lot more to longevity and health and living a good life than being a purist.
01:14:13.000 For sure.
01:14:14.000 Whether or not it's in this direction or that direction.
01:14:18.000 It's the result of a real conversation that we really need to have because overpopulation is real.
01:14:25.000 The conversation is really ultimately what is sustainable.
01:14:30.000 And it's not what is sustainable right now for your lifespan.
01:14:33.000 It's like what is sustainable for the future and should we engineer for a better tomorrow?
01:14:37.000 We already are, though, aren't we?
01:14:38.000 We sort of are.
01:14:39.000 We're not, though.
01:14:40.000 People are acting as individuals.
01:14:41.000 There's not really a whole lot of engineering in terms of slowing down the rate of childbirth or trying to prevent people from having too many kids, trying to prevent overpopulation.
01:14:52.000 A lot of cultures, I mean, a lot of countries and societies are at zero population growth.
01:14:57.000 Yes, but the thing is, there's plenty of people that live below the poverty line, in terms of what our perception of the poverty line is.
01:15:05.000 And what you're seeing in a lot of these more industrialized nations is as people start developing careers, and men and women get careers, you have less childbirth.
01:15:17.000 Like you've seen that in Japan.
01:15:18.000 Japan has apparently an issue with a lack of childbirth.
01:15:23.000 Not as many as they should have.
01:15:24.000 It's not sustainable.
01:15:25.000 They worry about that with some countries, and I've even heard that about the United States, that one day it's going to even out, and then everyone will have careers, and then we'll have less children, and then it's a statistical thing.
01:15:37.000 China is having trouble.
01:15:39.000 They have more elderly, so they're having trouble getting enough people to handle their economy.
01:15:50.000 That makes sense.
01:15:51.000 Skilled workers, which was shocking to me.
01:15:53.000 Yeah, but there's so many people, right?
01:15:55.000 Yeah, so they're importing labor.
01:15:58.000 Which is like, what?
01:15:59.000 Because they were kept at one child per family.
01:16:01.000 And China can do that.
01:16:03.000 I went to Beijing and I had to do a retinal scan and they were very specific about it.
01:16:08.000 They give you a phone.
01:16:10.000 They gave you a phone?
01:16:11.000 I was shooting a movie.
01:16:12.000 They give you a phone.
01:16:13.000 You have to use their phone.
01:16:13.000 And there are firewalls.
01:16:15.000 You can't just surf the web.
01:16:16.000 And they very clearly have signs that say any criticism of the government, and when you're an actor, they say this, will not be tolerated.
01:16:25.000 You will be...
01:16:26.000 And then you talk to people that live there and they say things like, dude, you disappear.
01:16:30.000 You can just disappear on the street if you're a, you know.
01:16:34.000 So, I don't know, man.
01:16:36.000 What the fuck, man?
01:16:36.000 There's a billion of them.
01:16:37.000 Yeah, I got problems with that.
01:16:39.000 A billion of them and they're being controlled by this crazy oppressive government.
01:16:42.000 Oh, it ain't nothing but your regular...
01:16:44.000 I know, but it's weird to see that in 2019, right?
01:16:47.000 It's weird to see that online.
01:16:49.000 It's become more authoritarian in some ways.
01:16:50.000 Well, I guess their grip is looser, so they're clawing more.
01:16:55.000 They're trying to squeeze harder.
01:16:57.000 If you think about all of human history, this is the way that empires were run, but they weren't run with technology, and they weren't run while the people had access to technology.
01:17:06.000 So the fact they're clamping down on web searches and what sites you can visit and You know, there's a lot of companies that felt like they had to do business with them, too.
01:17:15.000 Like, I was talking to this lady who worked at Google, and she was saying, look, they're going to copy Google, or we work with them.
01:17:22.000 So, like, this idea of, like, you shouldn't work with them because they're going to censor the people.
01:17:27.000 Like, listen, they're censoring no matter what.
01:17:29.000 But if we don't go over there, they're just going to copy our shit.
01:17:31.000 It's a massive market.
01:17:32.000 Well, the copying thing, the intellectual property thing, they don't give a fuck.
01:17:36.000 The industrial espionage is huge.
01:17:37.000 It's crazy.
01:17:38.000 The Huawei thing.
01:17:40.000 The fucking head of Huawei, his daughter, is being held captive in Vancouver.
01:17:46.000 Do you know about that?
01:17:47.000 Yeah.
01:17:48.000 Google that.
01:17:50.000 The head of Huawei has been accused of some crazy backdoor shit they put into routers and they're really worried about their technology getting into this country.
01:18:00.000 The United States has stopped the production of their cell phones in the United States.
01:18:05.000 You have to buy them from somewhere else and bring them in.
01:18:08.000 What's it called when it's not connected to someone?
01:18:13.000 You buy a cell phone and it's not connected to somebody.
01:18:16.000 You know what I'm calling it?
01:18:18.000 No, it's not untethered.
01:18:19.000 It's like that, though.
01:18:22.000 Whatever.
01:18:22.000 I'll remember it.
01:18:23.000 But you could buy one of those on like Amazon or one of those tech websites, but you can't get it at Verizon.
01:18:28.000 You can't get it at AT&T. They blocked all that.
01:18:31.000 And they're like terrified that this company that has become their number two now.
01:18:35.000 They're right behind Apple.
01:18:36.000 Like Apple's number one.
01:18:37.000 Is Apple?
01:18:38.000 No, Samsung.
01:18:39.000 Samsung's number one.
01:18:40.000 They're number two and Apple's number three.
01:18:42.000 So they've passed Apple in cell phone production.
01:18:45.000 China's always had – I think they were humiliated in their past by the British, by a lot of different – by the Japanese who behaved atrociously.
01:18:57.000 But you know what the opium wars were?
01:18:59.000 Where the British were – traders were bringing in opium.
01:19:04.000 From India to China.
01:19:05.000 China developed a major opium problem.
01:19:07.000 So the emperor and the government said, this is a major problem.
01:19:11.000 Guess what, Britain?
01:19:12.000 You can't sell your opium on our docks.
01:19:15.000 You're unloading huge boxes of fucking opium from India, and I know you're making a lot of money, but no, because we have a major addiction problem.
01:19:25.000 And Britain said, you're interfering with free trade and we should be allowed to.
01:19:29.000 And China said, you're not allowed to.
01:19:31.000 And so they went to war and Britain won that war and forced China to continue buying opium.
01:19:37.000 What?
01:19:38.000 What year was this?
01:19:38.000 It's called the Opium Wars.
01:19:40.000 Pull up that article.
01:19:43.000 And that's why the British took Hong Kong and leased it for a hundred years.
01:19:49.000 Look at this.
01:19:50.000 Under house arrest in Vancouver, Huawei CFO lives in luxury and spends her days out shopping.
01:19:58.000 She's got to wear a GPS monitor.
01:19:59.000 I'll take that fucking life.
01:20:01.000 They make her wear a GPS monitor.
01:20:03.000 She has to stick to her 11 p.m.
01:20:06.000 curfew.
01:20:07.000 So, by the way, she's tired by 11 anyway.
01:20:09.000 So, her dad owns Huawei?
01:20:12.000 Is that what it is?
01:20:12.000 Yeah.
01:20:13.000 Well, she's the CFO also, so I don't know.
01:20:15.000 Bring her up.
01:20:15.000 Is she cute?
01:20:16.000 But doesn't her dad own Huawei?
01:20:18.000 Isn't that what it is?
01:20:19.000 It didn't say that.
01:20:21.000 She might be.
01:20:22.000 Daughter of billionaire founder.
01:20:23.000 So she can't...
01:20:24.000 Why is she under house arrest, though?
01:20:26.000 Because they think Huawei is doing a bunch of really shifty things, man.
01:20:31.000 Well, they are.
01:20:31.000 The U.S. wants to extradite her on the grounds that she tricked banks into potentially violating Iran sanctions.
01:20:38.000 It sparked an unprecedented diplomatic row.
01:20:40.000 Yeah, they don't give a fuck.
01:20:42.000 They're doing business with everybody.
01:20:44.000 They're showing up with a briefcase full of cash and some nuclear weapons.
01:20:48.000 Fuck you.
01:20:49.000 And this is what the United States government is worried about.
01:20:51.000 Like, these people becoming the number one technology provider in the world.
01:20:54.000 Like, if they provided all the cell phones that everyone in America uses.
01:20:58.000 Like, what if...
01:21:00.000 If they came out, okay, and they got onto the Verizon network or the AT&T network with some of these phones, these phones, when you look at the tech people, the people like Unbox Therapy and MKBHD,
01:21:16.000 those guys who...
01:21:18.000 Develop these YouTube videos breaking down the components of cell phones.
01:21:22.000 They're always super favorable about these Huawei phones.
01:21:25.000 They have crazy cameras.
01:21:26.000 Some of them have this fucking insane ability to zoom in.
01:21:29.000 Really?
01:21:30.000 Yeah, they use computer learning and they have...
01:21:33.000 So they're better than the iPhone?
01:21:35.000 The new iPhone is pretty fucking good.
01:21:38.000 But when the latest Huawei Mate Pro, whatever the fuck it was, one of them, their most high-end phone, there's a video of them doing a zoom.
01:21:49.000 And you can't believe how much bigger they can make something that's in the distance and make it look really clear.
01:21:55.000 Damn.
01:21:55.000 And they have image stabilization and crazy...
01:21:57.000 I mean, they're about to come out with a 150-megapixel sensor on a camera that's on the phone.
01:22:03.000 And they're going hog-wild with technology and providing like the state-of-the-art shit.
01:22:10.000 And just a few years ago, They were like a non-heard of brand.
01:22:14.000 I mean, five, six, seven years ago, you never heard about people talking about Huawei.
01:22:17.000 Now Huawei has a direct competitor to the MacBook Pro, where, I mean, a lot of people think it's the best laptop that you can buy.
01:22:25.000 It has a bezel-to-bezel display, and it works on fingerprints.
01:22:29.000 The web camera pops out of a key.
01:22:32.000 Like, you press a key, and it pops up so people can't see you while you're jerking off.
01:22:35.000 If you're one of those guys that worries, the government's watching me, man!
01:22:38.000 I sure am.
01:22:39.000 Well, these Huawei computers, they figured it out.
01:22:42.000 And they basically copied the design of an Apple MacBook, just made it way better.
01:22:46.000 Yeah, but don't they have, of course, but don't they have encrypted, don't they have built-in spyware stuff?
01:22:52.000 We don't know.
01:22:52.000 Some things.
01:22:53.000 We don't know.
01:22:53.000 Some things.
01:22:54.000 I don't know.
01:22:55.000 This is what's funny.
01:22:55.000 This is what I like about my argument for...
01:22:58.000 The marketplace.
01:23:00.000 Because you don't want unchecked capitalism, but what's great about the marketplace is that you have to allow for creative destruction.
01:23:08.000 Remember that flip camera?
01:23:10.000 All the stuff that we had, GPS, you had to have a GPS, you had to have a little camera, then you had your phone.
01:23:15.000 And you had to allow certain businesses to go out of business.
01:23:19.000 To get all that technology into one fucking place, which is your phone that we all use.
01:23:24.000 And that requires people to...
01:23:26.000 It requires creative destruction.
01:23:28.000 It requires, like, you know, people lose...
01:23:30.000 Entire businesses fold under, but a new one's born.
01:23:33.000 Imagine if people bailed out all those portable phone businesses.
01:23:38.000 Imagine if the government did that because the market crashed.
01:23:42.000 That's what would happen in a government-controlled economy.
01:23:44.000 In a socialist economy, I promise you, you would have boards or committees that would decide whether or not it was fair.
01:23:55.000 A government organization would never allow for that kind of creative destruction to Fucking never!
01:24:01.000 Because you'd have to protect jobs.
01:24:02.000 Hold on a second.
01:24:03.000 No, no, no.
01:24:03.000 But you wouldn't.
01:24:04.000 Not in a situation like with China with technology.
01:24:07.000 They're not trying to save those stupid phones.
01:24:09.000 When those phones became irrelevant because the cameras on the phones were better.
01:24:14.000 That's because they had to compete.
01:24:15.000 That's because they had to compete.
01:24:17.000 But that technology didn't come out of China.
01:24:19.000 It came out of the West.
01:24:20.000 And technology did initially.
01:24:22.000 The innovation and all the innovation.
01:24:24.000 Everything you see that comes out of Apple where you can swipe, all that stuff.
01:24:28.000 Don't forget, that's all that came out of the free market.
01:24:31.000 That came out of the cutthroat competition.
01:24:34.000 Oh yeah, no argument.
01:24:35.000 But it's fascinating to me that they just take that and do it better.
01:24:39.000 Of course.
01:24:40.000 The Japanese used to do that too.
01:24:41.000 They would mimic.
01:24:42.000 Still have.
01:24:43.000 They still do it.
01:24:44.000 Look, that's what Lexus is.
01:24:45.000 Lexus is them looking at BMW and Mercedes and going, hmm.
01:24:50.000 I see some holes in your game, son.
01:24:52.000 And then they decided to do their own version of it.
01:24:55.000 And here's the thing about those cars versus any other car.
01:24:58.000 They don't break.
01:25:00.000 That's the number one thing, man.
01:25:02.000 Great cars.
01:25:02.000 I've had a Lexus truck.
01:25:04.000 I've had like, over the past 15 years, I've had three of them.
01:25:07.000 I've had zero problems with any of them ever.
01:25:10.000 Zero.
01:25:11.000 Zero.
01:25:11.000 They always start.
01:25:13.000 They always drive perfect.
01:25:14.000 I've had three Lexus trucks.
01:25:16.000 Same thing.
01:25:16.000 They're so well engineered.
01:25:19.000 They're so well designed.
01:25:21.000 There's something about Japanese vehicles, man.
01:25:24.000 I like my Tesla, though.
01:25:25.000 I had no problems with that either.
01:25:26.000 Yeah, I haven't had really anything major.
01:25:28.000 I had one little glitch once where the windshield wiper wasn't working correctly, but they fixed that quick.
01:25:35.000 Yeah.
01:25:35.000 But that's it.
01:25:36.000 Other than that- You're still driving your Tesla?
01:25:37.000 It's here, bitch.
01:25:38.000 Yeah.
01:25:38.000 Drove it here, bitch.
01:25:39.000 Is that your number one car?
01:25:40.000 Yeah.
01:25:40.000 I drive it more than anything.
01:25:41.000 It's so easy, right?
01:25:42.000 It's so easy and it allows...
01:25:44.000 One of the things I really enjoy is that I have a lot of loud cars.
01:25:47.000 I like loud shit.
01:25:48.000 Yeah.
01:25:48.000 But the Tesla's silent.
01:25:50.000 I know.
01:25:50.000 So it makes...
01:25:51.000 I can think.
01:25:52.000 So when I drive that, I really like driving that with no music on.
01:25:56.000 Mm-hmm.
01:25:56.000 I just like driving it because it's like silent.
01:25:59.000 I make my way to the comedy store and I can hear all the sounds around me in a way that I could never hear before.
01:26:03.000 Yeah.
01:26:04.000 You know what I mean?
01:26:04.000 Because I... I never noticed that, but that's how I... I guess that's what I... Yeah, because the car is not...
01:26:08.000 You're interfacing with the world differently.
01:26:11.000 Mm-hmm.
01:26:11.000 Like, if I'm driving my Porsche, it's probably my loudest car.
01:26:14.000 That GT3, that thing's loud.
01:26:16.000 When I'm driving that, I'm being obnoxious.
01:26:18.000 Not as loud as the GT2, motherfucker.
01:26:20.000 That's pretty loud, too.
01:26:21.000 I don't know.
01:26:22.000 Brendan revved it, and I jumped like a bitch.
01:26:26.000 Like a bark.
01:26:27.000 I went, ah!
01:26:27.000 Like that.
01:26:28.000 Because I didn't know.
01:26:29.000 I went, ah!
01:26:29.000 Like my hands went up.
01:26:31.000 I sent him a video that is so ridiculous.
01:26:33.000 It's the GT2 RS, his car, racing against all these exotics.
01:26:39.000 Like all these McLarens and Ferraris.
01:26:41.000 He's just burying them.
01:26:42.000 Really?
01:26:42.000 Over and over again.
01:26:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:26:43.000 Yeah.
01:26:44.000 That car is like one of the fastest cars that you can buy.
01:26:47.000 He drives it.
01:26:48.000 You know what I love about Brendan?
01:26:49.000 What?
01:26:49.000 He drives it like it's his number one car.
01:26:51.000 It's his only car.
01:26:52.000 It's a daily driver.
01:26:52.000 It's his daily driver.
01:26:53.000 Yeah, it's ridiculous.
01:26:54.000 Fucking hilarious.
01:26:55.000 A giant man in that ridiculous Porsche.
01:26:58.000 Yeah.
01:26:58.000 It's his daily driver.
01:26:59.000 You gotta love it.
01:27:00.000 You gotta love him for it.
01:27:01.000 Oh, yeah.
01:27:02.000 Well, listen, he needs a reason to work so hard.
01:27:04.000 You know?
01:27:04.000 He's one of those guys.
01:27:05.000 He likes to be rewarded.
01:27:07.000 But those, and I do too, those vehicles, that style of vehicle, it's like you're not doing what everybody else is doing.
01:27:15.000 Everybody else is driving to work.
01:27:17.000 You're on a ride.
01:27:19.000 Is that his car?
01:27:20.000 I wish I liked cars that much.
01:27:22.000 Jesus Christ!
01:27:23.000 Why don't you drive that for a day?
01:27:24.000 You'll like cars that much.
01:27:25.000 Nah.
01:27:26.000 Especially after you get to the doctor and get you some of that man juice inside your body.
01:27:31.000 Fucking testosterone!
01:27:32.000 Then you get one of those.
01:27:32.000 What do you mean too much work?
01:27:34.000 What work are you anticipating?
01:27:35.000 I don't know, man.
01:27:35.000 I need to fucking get a car like that and I'm going to get jacked.
01:27:38.000 I'm going to get sick and I'm going to shave my fucking body with a straight razor.
01:27:41.000 What about your balls?
01:27:42.000 I think we're sponsored by Manscaped.
01:27:45.000 Be careful.
01:27:46.000 And by the way, if you want to see me in person...
01:27:48.000 This Saturday at the Celebrity Theater, I'm in Arizona, and then where am I? Hey, Joe, where the fuck am I on New Year's Eve?
01:27:55.000 Where are you on New Year's Eve?
01:27:56.000 I'm at the Wilbur Theater in Boston, bro.
01:27:59.000 Oh, shit.
01:28:00.000 At the Wilbur Theater in Boston.
01:28:02.000 Get tickets or fucking die.
01:28:04.000 And I got a whole new hour.
01:28:06.000 So if you've seen me in the past three months, I got all new material.
01:28:10.000 Ooh, the Wilbur.
01:28:11.000 One of my favorite theaters on earth.
01:28:13.000 Oh, I'm standing like a fucking matador, too.
01:28:14.000 Shout out to Bill Blumenwright.
01:28:16.000 Yeah, man.
01:28:16.000 That's a great theater.
01:28:17.000 That's the best.
01:28:18.000 I love it.
01:28:18.000 I think we got 400 tickets left, so...
01:28:20.000 Beautiful.
01:28:21.000 Get him.
01:28:21.000 The guy who owns it, Bill Blumenwright.
01:28:23.000 I've been friends with that guy for 28, 29 years.
01:28:28.000 Really?
01:28:29.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:29.000 I've known him forever.
01:28:31.000 Yeah, he booked me back when I was really just getting going.
01:28:35.000 He booked me at his clubs.
01:28:37.000 Great theater.
01:28:38.000 Yeah.
01:28:38.000 I've known that guy forever.
01:28:39.000 I love that guy.
01:28:40.000 I've been friends with him from the beginning of time.
01:28:43.000 You're now selling out to...
01:28:46.000 How many tickets have you sold at one time?
01:28:48.000 The most?
01:28:49.000 Yeah.
01:28:50.000 Let me get my hand out of my pants.
01:28:53.000 The biggest place was with Chappelle, but that was me and him.
01:28:56.000 That didn't count.
01:28:57.000 That was 25,000.
01:28:58.000 That was Tacoma.
01:28:59.000 Fucking God.
01:29:00.000 Yeah.
01:29:00.000 Oh, my God.
01:29:01.000 We broke the record for the Tacoma Dome.
01:29:03.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:29:03.000 It was so ridiculous.
01:29:05.000 It was fun.
01:29:06.000 That's crazy.
01:29:07.000 That was really fun.
01:29:08.000 But by myself, probably San Diego.
01:29:12.000 That's like 14. That's fucking crazy.
01:29:15.000 Yeah.
01:29:16.000 What's that like?
01:29:16.000 I've done some other ones that are in the neighborhood of that.
01:29:19.000 It's weird.
01:29:20.000 It's real weird.
01:29:21.000 It's so weird.
01:29:22.000 It's so weird.
01:29:23.000 It just seems weird like you're getting out there.
01:29:25.000 You're like, what in the fuck is going on?
01:29:27.000 Yeah.
01:29:28.000 You know, and I always come out to ACDC, Long Way to the Top, if you want to rock and roll.
01:29:33.000 Great song, baby!
01:29:34.000 This is why, man.
01:29:35.000 I was at the improv.
01:29:36.000 It's a funny story.
01:29:36.000 And there was a dude who is the DJ. And he and I were standing there.
01:29:41.000 And I was going up a little bit later.
01:29:44.000 And there was a girl who was going on.
01:29:45.000 I was doing a guest spot who was very new.
01:29:47.000 And...
01:29:49.000 It wasn't working so well.
01:29:50.000 It was rough.
01:29:51.000 She was bombing a little bit.
01:29:52.000 And I turned to DJ. I go, it's a long way to the top.
01:29:55.000 She won a rock and roll.
01:29:57.000 And we high-fived.
01:30:00.000 And I left the room.
01:30:02.000 Then when I went on stage, he played it.
01:30:05.000 Very smart.
01:30:06.000 And we looked at each other.
01:30:07.000 I was like, ah.
01:30:08.000 It's a long way to the top.
01:30:11.000 It's a great fucking song.
01:30:13.000 It's a great fucking song.
01:30:14.000 It's a great song.
01:30:15.000 It's one of the best road songs ever.
01:30:17.000 Goddamn.
01:30:17.000 I come up to Cashmere by Zeppelin a lot of times.
01:30:20.000 Ooh, that's good too.
01:30:21.000 It just gets me pumped.
01:30:24.000 They had so many fucking amazing songs.
01:30:28.000 Have you heard Greta Van Fleet?
01:30:29.000 Yes.
01:30:31.000 Very good.
01:30:32.000 They're so good.
01:30:33.000 They sound so much like Zeppelin, but I don't mind.
01:30:36.000 They get away with it because they're so good.
01:30:38.000 Right.
01:30:38.000 They're like the best tribute band ever.
01:30:40.000 They are, man.
01:30:41.000 I listen to them.
01:30:41.000 I rock out.
01:30:43.000 And they're fucking really young, right?
01:30:44.000 I feel like 21 and shit.
01:30:46.000 They're babies.
01:30:46.000 They're babies.
01:30:47.000 Listen, man, I'm down for any 21-year-old kids that appreciate Zeppelin, period.
01:30:50.000 Fuck yes, man.
01:30:52.000 Zeppelin's still astonishing.
01:30:53.000 Oh, yeah, man.
01:30:54.000 To me, they might be the greatest.
01:30:56.000 You know, you got Pink Floyd, you got the Beatles, you got the Stones, you got the Who.
01:30:59.000 But rock and roll, in terms of a group that we still listen to and everything stops, I think it's Zeppelin.
01:31:06.000 Well, they're certainly one of the all-time greats.
01:31:09.000 But it's almost like every different style of music has its appropriate moment where it hits you perfectly.
01:31:17.000 Yeah, you know like there's a there's a moment where like you want to hear voodoo child and it comes on you're like ah But then there's a moment where like sitting on the dock of the bay is the perfect song to hear They're very different.
01:31:28.000 I like thank you by that one sometimes I was at a shitty bowling alley and kickstart my heart came on I couldn't have been more happy It depends on your mood.
01:31:39.000 That's a fucking great workout song.
01:31:41.000 But that's the song.
01:31:42.000 Like, if you're at a bowling alley and Motley Crue kickstart my heart comes on, you're like, yeah!
01:31:47.000 It's like the right song for the moment, right?
01:31:49.000 But like Sarah McLaughlin there, you'd be like, what are you doing to me?
01:31:53.000 What are you doing to me?
01:31:54.000 But other times, Sarah McLaughlin's the perfect song.
01:31:56.000 It's the perfect song.
01:31:57.000 It's all different, man.
01:31:58.000 It's all...
01:32:00.000 They all have their own little spot in the wave of time.
01:32:03.000 Yeah, they do.
01:32:04.000 They do.
01:32:05.000 They really do.
01:32:05.000 And you never know what you need to hear sometimes until you hear it.
01:32:09.000 Sometimes a song will come on the radio at the perfect time, like you're listening to Spotify or something like that, and a song comes on just when you needed to hear it.
01:32:18.000 There's Kickstart My Heart with Sam Kinison.
01:32:19.000 Is that Sam Kinison?
01:32:20.000 Yes, it is.
01:32:21.000 He was the driver.
01:32:22.000 Wow.
01:32:23.000 That's the downhill moments for Sam Kinison, hanging out with these motherfuckers, doing coke until fucking 7 o'clock in the morning, and then trying to do a show at the Comedy Store and being half out of it.
01:32:32.000 Can't do it.
01:32:33.000 That's what ruined him, man.
01:32:35.000 Yeah, it is.
01:32:35.000 Is success and partying.
01:32:38.000 I still to this day maintain that the Kinison between 86 and 88 was probably the best comic that ever lived.
01:32:44.000 He was a monster.
01:32:45.000 Phenomenal.
01:32:46.000 He was a monster.
01:32:47.000 He was making fun of shit that no one had the balls to touch.
01:32:49.000 He was crushing things.
01:32:51.000 I'm gonna go watch him again.
01:32:52.000 Oh my god, that year?
01:32:54.000 This is him from the Ronnie Dangerfield comedy special.
01:32:58.000 Bro, he was a monster.
01:33:00.000 Another head injury victim.
01:33:02.000 Did you know that?
01:33:03.000 Yes-siree, Bob.
01:33:04.000 Him, like Roseanne Barr.
01:33:06.000 Well, no, I know he...
01:33:07.000 That's how he died.
01:33:08.000 No, no, no, no, no.
01:33:09.000 He was hit by a car when he was a kid.
01:33:11.000 Oh.
01:33:12.000 Yeah.
01:33:12.000 His brother, Bill, wrote a book called Brother Sam.
01:33:15.000 And it's like a story of Sam's life.
01:33:18.000 It's a really good book.
01:33:19.000 If you're a Sam Kinison fan, I recommend it highly.
01:33:21.000 I mean, he's Brother Bill.
01:33:23.000 He was a strange-looking guy, man.
01:33:25.000 I think it's called Brother Sam.
01:33:26.000 I think I'm right.
01:33:28.000 Anyway, in the book he talks about how Sam was hit by a car and was really bad when he was a little kid and then after that his personality changed.
01:33:36.000 Very impulsive, very wild, couldn't control him.
01:33:39.000 It's a head injury thing.
01:33:40.000 It's the same as Roseanne Barr, the exact same story.
01:33:43.000 She had the same She was 15. This is one of the main reasons why I wanted to have her on my podcast after her controversy and have her air this out to people.
01:33:50.000 I love that lady.
01:33:52.000 I've known her forever.
01:33:53.000 She's a wonderful person, and she is a person with legitimate mental illness.
01:34:00.000 She was hit by a car when she was 15 years old.
01:34:03.000 A lady couldn't see because the sun was coming in.
01:34:06.000 It was hitting her windshield and hit her in the middle of the fucking intersection and sent her flying.
01:34:11.000 She was in a mental institute for nine months after that.
01:34:14.000 She couldn't count anymore.
01:34:16.000 They put her in a fucking insane asylum.
01:34:19.000 She's losing her mind.
01:34:20.000 She's on a host of different pills.
01:34:23.000 And it's one of the reasons why she's such a great comic, because she doesn't give a fuck.
01:34:28.000 She's brash, and she just says things.
01:34:31.000 And when she first came out, man, people don't remember.
01:34:35.000 I remember when I was a kid and Roseanne Barr first came out.
01:34:38.000 I think it was HBO or one of those comedy specials.
01:34:41.000 We got to see her do stand-up.
01:34:43.000 You're like, What is this?
01:34:44.000 This is like a new type of lady comedian.
01:34:47.000 Like how Kinison was a new type of male comedian.
01:34:50.000 But it's the same thing.
01:34:51.000 They didn't give a fuck.
01:34:52.000 They had head injuries.
01:34:53.000 Yeah.
01:34:54.000 Yeah.
01:34:55.000 And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to have her on, to tell everybody, hey, you're dealing with someone who's on a host of different medications.
01:35:00.000 They fluctuate.
01:35:01.000 They go back and forth.
01:35:02.000 They're always changing her meds and moving her meds around.
01:35:04.000 Plus, she takes Ambien.
01:35:05.000 Plus, she smokes weed.
01:35:06.000 Plus, she drinks.
01:35:07.000 Like, listen.
01:35:09.000 A little compassion.
01:35:10.000 She's a nice lady.
01:35:11.000 It's what Sapolsky talks about.
01:35:12.000 Like, you don't know what's going on in her brain.
01:35:14.000 If you did, you'd be a lot more sympathetic to somebody who's, you know...
01:35:19.000 We're good to go.
01:35:30.000 Well, I do think sometimes I wonder if we're programmed.
01:35:34.000 I don't know what my motivations are, what drives me.
01:35:38.000 For me, I think about stand-up and how much I love it, and so I'm very guarded of my body.
01:35:47.000 Sometimes I just don't want anything to fuck up so I can keep doing it.
01:35:49.000 The worst thing that would happen to me is I couldn't do stand-up.
01:35:55.000 Is that me?
01:35:56.000 I just remember loving making people laugh.
01:36:01.000 There are a whole host of personality characteristics that have been there from the start, if I think back.
01:36:07.000 Well, it certainly is you.
01:36:08.000 It certainly is you, and you certainly are responsible for your choices.
01:36:13.000 You are the victim of your circumstances.
01:36:16.000 You are the product or the benefactor of all these years of things happening, all these different events, all the people you know, which is one of the big ones.
01:36:25.000 This is what I concentrate on, I think, more than anything in my life.
01:36:28.000 The quality of the people around you dictates the quality of your life.
01:36:32.000 And this is an equation that people, for whatever reason, don't put down as significant or primary.
01:36:41.000 But the quality of the people that you have in your life is everything.
01:36:44.000 You could be camping, like you and I were in Montana, nine degrees out with a bunch of great guys.
01:36:49.000 We had a good fucking time.
01:36:50.000 Laughing.
01:36:51.000 We didn't have a house.
01:36:52.000 No, I'm laughing.
01:36:53.000 We had to stay warm by fire, but the quality of our life was significant.
01:36:57.000 It was great.
01:36:58.000 Because the quality of the people that you're around, that's everything, man.
01:37:01.000 100%.
01:37:02.000 People that are worried about money or fame or credibility or...
01:37:07.000 Whatever accolades you think you deserve that you're not getting, the quality of the people that are around you is everything.
01:37:12.000 They drive you.
01:37:13.000 They change your opinions.
01:37:15.000 They challenge you.
01:37:16.000 They show compassion.
01:37:18.000 They show warmth and camaraderie that allows you to be more comfortable with who you are.
01:37:24.000 You open up to each other.
01:37:25.000 I mean, this is everything in this life is community.
01:37:29.000 And one of the things that's most lost when we're dealing with urbanization and large groups of people One of the things that's most lost is our sense of community.
01:37:38.000 The more people we have, the less value those people have, the more of a nuisance they become.
01:37:43.000 They're just some fucks ahead of you on the highway.
01:37:45.000 They're not human beings with lives and hopes and wishes.
01:37:48.000 They've become a burden.
01:37:49.000 They've become locusts.
01:37:50.000 They're not just a pretty grasshopper.
01:37:52.000 They're fucking everywhere.
01:37:53.000 It's just an overabundance.
01:37:55.000 That's what our problem is.
01:37:56.000 An overabundance and no quality.
01:38:00.000 No quality in your job choice.
01:38:02.000 No quality in the education that's thrust upon you.
01:38:05.000 No quality in the people that you're running into and your relationships that are on pills and are wacky.
01:38:10.000 Distort the truth.
01:38:12.000 They're always a victim.
01:38:13.000 They're never wrong.
01:38:13.000 Ugh!
01:38:15.000 Or you could be around a bunch of cool people and your life's amazing.
01:38:18.000 And that's what's cool about podcasting, because at least you can listen to people who, you know, positive people.
01:38:22.000 You should start a podcast called Brian Callen is Your Friend.
01:38:25.000 Yes.
01:38:26.000 Hey, kids.
01:38:27.000 Here's my tip for today.
01:38:28.000 Wasn't that Brody's Twitter handle?
01:38:32.000 Wasn't it Brody is Me Friend?
01:38:33.000 Yeah.
01:38:34.000 I want to start.
01:38:35.000 I might start a podcast with me, Sasso, and Delia.
01:38:40.000 There's a rumor that the 10-Minute Podcast could start.
01:38:43.000 Why give it ten minutes?
01:38:44.000 Why don't you guys...
01:38:45.000 You guys are just getting warmed up in ten minutes.
01:38:46.000 I know.
01:38:47.000 Sasa and I might do one where we start funny.
01:38:51.000 I don't want to go through the concepts.
01:38:52.000 It's too top secret, guys.
01:38:54.000 Why don't you just bring back the one with the three of you guys?
01:38:57.000 Why is that so hard?
01:38:57.000 Maybe that's in the works, bro.
01:38:59.000 Just go for hours.
01:38:59.000 Maybe that's a big secret.
01:39:00.000 Maybe we're going to unveil it.
01:39:02.000 I don't know yet.
01:39:02.000 I got an idea.
01:39:03.000 Why don't you do a podcast with Chris D'Elia and Will Sasa?
01:39:06.000 What?
01:39:07.000 Yeah.
01:39:07.000 You can't take credit for that idea, dude.
01:39:09.000 Hey, it's a good idea, right?
01:39:10.000 You can have it.
01:39:11.000 You don't know if it's in the works or not yet, man.
01:39:13.000 No, no, no.
01:39:13.000 You can have that idea.
01:39:13.000 All right, I'll think about it.
01:39:15.000 Just do it.
01:39:15.000 Now that you mention it, maybe we will.
01:39:16.000 Put me in the credits.
01:39:17.000 Inspired by Joe Rogan.
01:39:19.000 100%.
01:39:19.000 100%.
01:39:19.000 We'll bring you in.
01:39:21.000 We'll bring you in.
01:39:22.000 Good luck.
01:39:23.000 Imagine being that kind of person.
01:39:24.000 There are people out there that actually want credit for coming up with an idea that they didn't come up with.
01:39:29.000 There are people out there that want showrunners that step in after someone's created a pilot and they say, I want created by credit.
01:39:37.000 Seen it.
01:39:37.000 And then I'll run the show.
01:39:38.000 That happens.
01:39:40.000 That is one of the most bonkers things you ever see in Hollywood.
01:39:42.000 You can have a conversation in a goddamn room and then a year later you got this show and that person will show up and sue you.
01:39:49.000 Oh yeah.
01:39:49.000 And it's happened.
01:39:50.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:39:52.000 Well, I knew a dude who submitted a script to a major Hollywood production company.
01:39:58.000 They turned him down, and then they went ahead and made the movie.
01:40:02.000 Yeah.
01:40:02.000 And they made the movie.
01:40:03.000 It was a blockbuster with big-time stars.
01:40:05.000 He sued them.
01:40:06.000 He won.
01:40:07.000 He should win.
01:40:07.000 And he got his name on the movie.
01:40:09.000 Yeah.
01:40:10.000 Well, that's fair because people do that all the time.
01:40:13.000 A lot of times, if you're not a writer and you're an executive, you're under so much pressure to come up with an idea.
01:40:19.000 Somebody comes up with an idea and you're like, that's a good idea, but I got a better, we can add some shit to it.
01:40:24.000 Right, but you're supposed to have a deal.
01:40:26.000 You're supposed to make a deal.
01:40:27.000 It's called don't take what doesn't belong to you.
01:40:29.000 Don't be a fucking thieving cunt.
01:40:30.000 Don't be a thieving cunt.
01:40:31.000 The movie was The Expendables.
01:40:33.000 Yeah.
01:40:34.000 The guy was a writer.
01:40:36.000 He was a student of Eddie Bravo's.
01:40:38.000 Really?
01:40:39.000 Yeah, so I was around when the whole thing was going down.
01:40:41.000 We were all like, whoa, they just stole your idea.
01:40:44.000 They just jacked it.
01:40:47.000 Well, speaking of the Expendables, you know my new favorite person is...
01:40:50.000 Allegedly.
01:40:50.000 I should say allegedly to all the things I've just said.
01:40:53.000 I don't know if this is true.
01:40:54.000 It could have been a big, giant lie.
01:40:55.000 Someone was on Adderall and they just started lying to me.
01:40:57.000 My new favorite person is a guy named Sly Stallone.
01:41:02.000 Oh, you told me he went to his house for the fights.
01:41:04.000 Yeah, but I learned some shit about him.
01:41:07.000 Me, David Blaine showed up, and you've got to have him on the podcast.
01:41:10.000 David Blaine showed up and did magic.
01:41:12.000 Actually, I don't.
01:41:12.000 How about that?
01:41:13.000 I don't.
01:41:14.000 I could live the rest of my life and not have David Blaine on the podcast.
01:41:16.000 I'm just saying.
01:41:17.000 I'll be fine.
01:41:17.000 I'm just saying.
01:41:18.000 I think he'd be a great guest.
01:41:19.000 Don't get me wrong.
01:41:19.000 And I think you'd like it.
01:41:20.000 I don't like you telling what to do.
01:41:21.000 All right, I'm just saying, bro.
01:41:23.000 You have to have him on.
01:41:24.000 What the fuck is that?
01:41:24.000 Look at that picture.
01:41:25.000 I told his daughter to take that picture, and I just got...
01:41:27.000 Because I wanted to jump in while they were all doing that, and it was just me in behind him.
01:41:31.000 How thick is Stallone's hair?
01:41:32.000 That is preposterous.
01:41:33.000 It looks fantastic.
01:41:34.000 How is it still so good?
01:41:35.000 A couple things about Sly you don't know.
01:41:36.000 Number one.
01:41:37.000 How is his hair so good?
01:41:38.000 Because he's fucking sly.
01:41:39.000 Do you think he has someone who does him up before the picture?
01:41:42.000 He knows you guys are coming over, so he has his hairdresser, like, puff it all up?
01:41:46.000 He shows up like that and just looks, you know...
01:41:49.000 I like how he's got the Jay Leno shirt on, too.
01:41:51.000 Great fucking sense of humor.
01:41:53.000 Oh, he does.
01:41:53.000 I interviewed him once for Spike TV. So funny.
01:41:56.000 He was hilarious.
01:41:57.000 Someone heckled, and he goes, Hey, Ma!
01:41:59.000 Oh, he's...
01:42:00.000 Yeah.
01:42:01.000 He's got...
01:42:01.000 And on top of that...
01:42:02.000 Look at you.
01:42:03.000 He's...
01:42:04.000 I know.
01:42:04.000 I'm all excited.
01:42:04.000 For your picture.
01:42:05.000 I'm...
01:42:06.000 You think I'm...
01:42:06.000 I'm not cool in that group.
01:42:08.000 Why does Arnold look so solemn?
01:42:10.000 Because he was watching the fight.
01:42:10.000 He didn't give a fuck about anybody.
01:42:12.000 His fight is very important.
01:42:13.000 But he's also really cool when you talk to him.
01:42:15.000 I'm sure.
01:42:16.000 But me and D'Lea.
01:42:16.000 D'Lea goes like this to me.
01:42:18.000 We're sitting there with all those legends.
01:42:20.000 And D'Lea goes like this.
01:42:21.000 He goes...
01:42:21.000 I got weird shit going on in my chest, man!
01:42:24.000 I feel weird!
01:42:26.000 He didn't know what to do with all his...
01:42:27.000 That's hilarious.
01:42:28.000 Fucking Frank Grillo was so funny.
01:42:30.000 How about that bartender?
01:42:30.000 They're like, what about me, man?
01:42:32.000 Oh my god.
01:42:32.000 He's trying to poke his head over his shoulder.
01:42:33.000 I mean, do you get any more famous?
01:42:35.000 Imagine being a fly on that wall.
01:42:36.000 You know what Stallone's really good at?
01:42:38.000 Besides horseback riding, world-class horseback rider?
01:42:40.000 Sucking cock?
01:42:41.000 No, man.
01:42:42.000 I just made that up.
01:42:42.000 No, painting.
01:42:43.000 Oh, I believe that.
01:42:45.000 Me, Dahlia, David Bland, and Frank Grillo are following them around his house like little puppies as he's pointing to his insane paintings.
01:42:57.000 That he's made himself.
01:42:58.000 Oh, dude.
01:42:59.000 That's amazing.
01:43:00.000 Sells them for, I won't even go to how much.
01:43:01.000 I went, how much are you selling for?
01:43:03.000 And the number he gave me, I went...
01:43:05.000 Of course.
01:43:06.000 And I looked at Frank and I went, Frank, I'm a piece of shit.
01:43:09.000 Wait, first of all, why are you asking him numbers?
01:43:11.000 Because I ask personal fucking questions.
01:43:13.000 That's so weird.
01:43:13.000 Because I ask personal questions.
01:43:14.000 Isn't that weird of you?
01:43:15.000 No, because I wanted one!
01:43:17.000 Okay, but don't you feel weird saying, hey man, how much money do you make?
01:43:21.000 No, well, I said, if I wanted to buy, would you sell these?
01:43:25.000 He goes, yeah.
01:43:25.000 I go, can you give me a ballpark figure?
01:43:28.000 And the ballpark figure, I went, oh, I'll never be able to buy that.
01:43:31.000 But they were so cool.
01:43:32.000 Don't sell yourself short.
01:43:32.000 You should live your life and your goal should be having enough money so it seems reasonable to buy a Stallone painting.
01:43:38.000 That's what I want to do.
01:43:39.000 That should be your magic future.
01:43:40.000 That's why I want to sell out the Wilbur, everybody.
01:43:42.000 Look at those paintings.
01:43:43.000 He's a great painter.
01:43:44.000 That's actually kind of cool.
01:43:45.000 What is that?
01:43:45.000 What's going on back there?
01:43:46.000 Is that an elephant in a clock?
01:43:48.000 That's a dude's back?
01:43:49.000 What is that?
01:43:50.000 I don't know, but he's a great painter.
01:43:52.000 This is when I was younger.
01:43:54.000 It's so good.
01:43:55.000 Is that supposed to be him?
01:43:55.000 I looked at Grillo and I got mad.
01:43:57.000 I went, hey, I'm a fucking loser.
01:43:59.000 I gotta get myself together.
01:44:00.000 I gotta do something else.
01:44:01.000 Listen, man, the guy does a lot of shit.
01:44:02.000 Did he paint himself?
01:44:04.000 No.
01:44:05.000 Getting mixed in with pictures of him.
01:44:06.000 Oh, pictures of him.
01:44:07.000 Paintings of him.
01:44:08.000 Yeah.
01:44:09.000 No, he's...
01:44:09.000 Look, man.
01:44:10.000 The guy wrote Rocky and then would not accept them having anybody else play the character when he was nobody.
01:44:16.000 He's got balls of steel.
01:44:18.000 Blaine took a video of me listening to him as he read the first page of the Rocky script in his office.
01:44:24.000 I wish I wasn't there.
01:44:27.000 I would have ran through that wall like the fucking Kool-Aid man.
01:44:30.000 Like, I can't.
01:44:32.000 Boom.
01:44:34.000 I can't.
01:44:35.000 I gotta get out of here.
01:44:36.000 He tells a story about how Joe Frazier came in to audition for it, for the Apollo Creed thing.
01:44:41.000 And he said, you know, we decided to do some boxing just to have him, you know, because there were going to be fight scenes.
01:44:49.000 And he said, I tried to.
01:44:51.000 He goes...
01:44:53.000 Frazier started tapping me in different places and he literally was just like, what the fuck is going on?
01:44:59.000 It was like getting caught in a buzzsaw.
01:45:00.000 He's like, wait, this is not going to work in a movie.
01:45:02.000 What the fuck are you doing?
01:45:03.000 And then the same thing with Roberto Duran.
01:45:06.000 He's like, I'll box a little bit.
01:45:07.000 And he said, I started getting hit in so many different places that I felt like I was in a washing machine.
01:45:15.000 The way he tells the story is fucking hilarious.
01:45:16.000 Yeah, those guys, they know.
01:45:17.000 This is when I was younger, when I was Rambo.
01:45:20.000 Oh, the best.
01:45:21.000 Look at my fucking ass.
01:45:22.000 With the Italian fucking horn!
01:45:24.000 With the Italian horn!
01:45:25.000 Look at that fucking hair!
01:45:28.000 And Peyton.
01:45:29.000 Yeah, he's...
01:45:30.000 Interesting.
01:45:31.000 His daughters are fucking great, too.
01:45:33.000 He's a...
01:45:33.000 Yeah, he's a really fascinating guy.
01:45:35.000 A very, very unusual guy.
01:45:37.000 And the thing about him is, like, he's done so many of these big blockbuster hits that I think people forget that he can actually act.
01:45:43.000 If you go back and watch Rocky I, you go, oh...
01:45:47.000 This guy's a really good actor.
01:45:49.000 Yeah, dude.
01:45:49.000 Yes.
01:45:50.000 In Rocky 1, man, you get to see who he was.
01:45:53.000 You know, a young guy.
01:45:55.000 Well, in First Blood, when he got that script, he's the one who said, because he was a homicidal maniac, the character.
01:46:01.000 And he said, this isn't going to work.
01:46:04.000 He's got to be a killer, but specifically, you can't just kill everybody.
01:46:09.000 He's got to have a philosophy behind why he fucking does this.
01:46:12.000 He's got to have a purpose.
01:46:13.000 I love that movie.
01:46:14.000 How great was this movie?
01:46:16.000 Yeah, that's young, angry, skinny-faced Stallone.
01:46:18.000 Look at them cheeks, son.
01:46:20.000 He was 165, I think, when he made that movie.
01:46:22.000 I believe it, yeah.
01:46:24.000 Fascinating character in Hollywood.
01:46:26.000 I mean, you've never had a guy with the longevity that Sylvester Stallone has had.
01:46:29.000 45 years.
01:46:30.000 45 fucking years.
01:46:31.000 He is still making action movies.
01:46:33.000 He's 150,000 years old.
01:46:36.000 He's still making action movies.
01:46:37.000 And you buy it.
01:46:38.000 Bill Burr was there.
01:46:39.000 He's been there the two times I've been there.
01:46:40.000 And Bill, you know, Bill...
01:46:42.000 Bill Burr went to the house?
01:46:43.000 Yeah, he's there every time.
01:46:44.000 So Bill goes, I'm standing like a fucking loser.
01:46:49.000 It's Stallone, it's Schwarzenegger, and I think Pacino.
01:46:53.000 And they're talking.
01:46:54.000 It's my childhood.
01:46:55.000 And I'm standing in that group, sort of.
01:46:59.000 And I'm like this.
01:47:01.000 And I don't want to say anything.
01:47:03.000 I don't want to say anything.
01:47:05.000 Did you want to impress him, though, with some of your esoteric knowledge?
01:47:08.000 So badly!
01:47:10.000 So badly!
01:47:13.000 I wasn't even listening.
01:47:14.000 I was like, what can I say?
01:47:15.000 Hey, you guys ever read...
01:47:17.000 Chomsky?
01:47:18.000 Yeah, Chomsky, whatever.
01:47:19.000 Anyway, like a fucking loser.
01:47:21.000 What's going on here?
01:47:22.000 Bill Burr walks up behind me.
01:47:24.000 The new Rainbow is just playing.
01:47:26.000 It's his most recent work.
01:47:27.000 Him riding.
01:47:28.000 Joey Diaz said that this is Roadhouse on steroids.
01:47:31.000 He goes, Joe Rogan, listen to me.
01:47:32.000 This fucking movie's amazing.
01:47:34.000 I want to see it.
01:47:36.000 It's Roadhouse on steroids.
01:47:38.000 It's fucking incredible.
01:47:39.000 You love it.
01:47:40.000 He goes, get high to the fucking gills.
01:47:43.000 Look at this.
01:47:44.000 What the fuck?
01:47:46.000 He beats all those guys up?
01:47:48.000 Of course he does!
01:47:50.000 Dude, that's a lot of guns to have to dodge.
01:47:51.000 Shut your fucking mouth.
01:47:52.000 I don't know, bro.
01:47:53.000 Shut your mouth.
01:47:54.000 I'm a fan, but still.
01:47:55.000 He's drawing a bow back.
01:47:56.000 How realistic is this?
01:47:57.000 Oh, it's 100% realistic.
01:48:00.000 Fuck you, man.
01:48:01.000 I can't even ask.
01:48:02.000 What do you, hate America?
01:48:02.000 All I want to do is shoot an explosive arrow.
01:48:04.000 Son, you love those communists that you were talking about.
01:48:06.000 No, dude, I swear I don't, man!
01:48:08.000 He booby traps this house and fucks everybody up, chopping them up.
01:48:12.000 Dude, you draw first blood in that fucking dude, and he'll draw last blood.
01:48:17.000 He got real lean a few years back, like crazy lean.
01:48:21.000 He was playing this, I think he was playing a hitman.
01:48:25.000 And it was actually a pretty fucking good movie.
01:48:28.000 An interesting movie.
01:48:29.000 Like, it didn't get enough credit.
01:48:32.000 Like, what was the...
01:48:32.000 Bullet to the Head?
01:48:33.000 That's it.
01:48:34.000 Bullet to the Head.
01:48:35.000 Let me see that.
01:48:35.000 Bullet to the Head was a pretty fucking good action movie.
01:48:38.000 Oh, shit.
01:48:39.000 But look how lean he got.
01:48:41.000 He got, like, triathlete lean.
01:48:44.000 Yeah.
01:48:45.000 More CrossFitter lean.
01:48:47.000 I asked him if he had any injuries.
01:48:49.000 He goes to his phone and showed me his spine and all the operations.
01:48:55.000 I got fucking bolts on my neck like Frankenstein!
01:48:58.000 Is that Jason Momoa?
01:48:59.000 I think it is.
01:49:00.000 I hope it is!
01:49:01.000 Hey, I'm watching this fucking movie as soon as I get home.
01:49:03.000 Yeah, of course.
01:49:04.000 Who else is allowed to be that big and handsome?
01:49:06.000 Dude.
01:49:06.000 Only Jason Momoa.
01:49:07.000 Jason Momoa is the best looking man on the planet.
01:49:09.000 Yeah, I think he is in this movie.
01:49:11.000 I want to look like that.
01:49:12.000 But yeah, this was not that long ago, but it was a good movie.
01:49:15.000 Like a good, solid, you know, action movie.
01:49:18.000 Yeah, I enjoyed it.
01:49:19.000 I enjoyed it.
01:49:19.000 Like, I'm a Stallone fan.
01:49:20.000 I've been watching that guy's movies forever.
01:49:22.000 But what I liked about this, it's a Walter Hill film too.
01:49:25.000 What I liked about this movie was, I mean, not just liked about it, but that Stallone got like super crazy lean.
01:49:31.000 He looked like he was 170 pounds.
01:49:34.000 There you go, buddy.
01:49:36.000 Full star cast.
01:49:37.000 Bill Burr walks up to me right behind me as I'm listening to these guys trying to get into the conversation.
01:49:41.000 And he goes like this.
01:49:42.000 He goes, hey, you've been here for an hour already.
01:49:46.000 Get over it.
01:49:50.000 He just keeps walking.
01:49:53.000 Bill's the best, right?
01:49:55.000 Bill told me that he's fucking, he's gonna start working out.
01:49:57.000 He called me up.
01:49:58.000 He goes, hey dude, you fell out a medium sweater.
01:50:00.000 You look good.
01:50:01.000 I'm coming for that title, you piece of shit.
01:50:07.000 He can never say anything nice.
01:50:09.000 He goes...
01:50:10.000 We came on stage one time at the comedy store.
01:50:12.000 I mean, the laugh factor.
01:50:13.000 He was so funny and so good.
01:50:14.000 And I go, I think you're the best right now, period.
01:50:16.000 I love you.
01:50:17.000 I think you're the best.
01:50:18.000 And I have to say it.
01:50:19.000 And I'm a professional comic.
01:50:20.000 And I'm pretty funny myself.
01:50:21.000 And I'm saying it from you.
01:50:22.000 And if I'm saying it, I'm right.
01:50:23.000 So that's how it is.
01:50:25.000 And I walked away from him.
01:50:26.000 Got a message.
01:50:26.000 He goes, hey, Bri, I got to tell you, the shit you were doing was killing me.
01:50:29.000 I loved it.
01:50:30.000 Coming from you, that meant a lot to me.
01:50:32.000 I just want to thank you because I had this fucking gig.
01:50:34.000 It didn't go well.
01:50:35.000 It was just tough for me, but just hearing that from you was fucking, because you're hilarious.
01:50:39.000 I love you.
01:50:39.000 Thank you.
01:50:40.000 And go fuck yourself, though, because I can't be nice for too long.
01:50:44.000 I saved the message for a long time.
01:50:47.000 He's a fucking character, man.
01:50:48.000 Oh, God.
01:50:49.000 There's so many good comics right now.
01:50:51.000 It's such a good time.
01:50:52.000 Hell yeah.
01:50:52.000 We're lucky as fuck.
01:50:53.000 And we're all friends.
01:50:54.000 Yeah, that's what's interesting, right?
01:50:55.000 Yeah, man.
01:50:56.000 You know, in those Kinnison days we were talking about, like Dice and Kinnison fucking hated each other, man.
01:51:00.000 Yeah, there's none of that shit.
01:51:01.000 There's a bullet hole in the sign in the back parking lot because Kinnison pulled out a gun, shot the fucking sign, scared Dice off.
01:51:07.000 Jesus Christ.
01:51:10.000 That's impulsive.
01:51:11.000 That fucking sign had a hole in it forever.
01:51:14.000 I remember.
01:51:14.000 And they fixed the glass part.
01:51:16.000 I'm like, why would you fix it?
01:51:17.000 It's crazy to fix it.
01:51:18.000 Don't fix it.
01:51:19.000 I know.
01:51:20.000 That crack is magical, man.
01:51:21.000 That's where Kinnison shot through.
01:51:23.000 That's part of the fun.
01:51:24.000 I agree.
01:51:25.000 I think the bullet hole's still in the back, though.
01:51:26.000 You still feel the bullet hole.
01:51:28.000 The podcasting, and probably yours for the most part, has changed.
01:51:31.000 There it is.
01:51:31.000 There's the hole.
01:51:32.000 Look at that.
01:51:33.000 I remember it so well.
01:51:35.000 The fucking Kinnison bullet hole, son.
01:51:37.000 Damn.
01:51:38.000 That's head injuries, kid.
01:51:40.000 Yeah.
01:51:40.000 I know all about that stuff.
01:51:42.000 Carrying a gun.
01:51:43.000 That's what made him a great...
01:51:44.000 It's almost like you have to be sick in the head to be that funny.
01:51:49.000 I know.
01:51:50.000 I'm going to get into shooting, by the way.
01:51:51.000 I saw you were at that.
01:51:52.000 Come!
01:51:52.000 I want to do that for real.
01:51:54.000 Okay, let's go next week.
01:51:54.000 First of all, I need to learn how to shoot with both my eyes open.
01:51:57.000 I'll take you.
01:51:57.000 Because I've got to get ready for the apocalypse.
01:52:00.000 Dude, it's fun.
01:52:01.000 Bang!
01:52:02.000 I'll take you down to Terran Tactical.
01:52:03.000 We'll go through a course.
01:52:04.000 I box, I do jiu-jitsu, I take testosterone, and I fucking shoot guns.
01:52:08.000 Oh my god, you're crazy.
01:52:09.000 I'm a fucking man.
01:52:10.000 Hey, how long do you think you can hang from a chin-up bar?
01:52:12.000 We're gonna go try.
01:52:14.000 How long do you think you can?
01:52:16.000 I'm going to say, because I don't practice it, I'm going to say no more than a minute, but I'm going to try.
01:52:22.000 Really?
01:52:22.000 A minute?
01:52:23.000 I don't know.
01:52:24.000 Are you skeptical?
01:52:25.000 Remember, I can do a lot of pull-ups.
01:52:27.000 No, I can do more than a minute.
01:52:29.000 I do two minutes and 15 seconds.
01:52:30.000 That's a long fucking time.
01:52:32.000 You've been practicing it.
01:52:33.000 Don't tell me otherwise.
01:52:33.000 I've been dedicated to it.
01:52:35.000 Over the last two months.
01:52:36.000 Alright, so now I'm going to do it.
01:52:38.000 I usually was doing a couple minutes a day, but I was breaking it up into like 30 second chunks, or maybe I'd go a minute, and then I decided about two months ago to see how long I could hold on for.
01:52:47.000 It's good for your shoulders, they say.
01:52:49.000 What helps me is if I hold on for like 15-20 seconds and I rest for a long time, and then I go back and do it, I could do it a lot longer.
01:52:58.000 So I should warm up for it.
01:52:59.000 Yeah.
01:52:59.000 Okay, let me ask you this.
01:53:00.000 I powder my hands, too.
01:53:02.000 I chalk my hands up.
01:53:03.000 That's big, too.
01:53:03.000 I'm doing that, too.
01:53:04.000 Because your hands get sweaty, and then it fucks with your grip.
01:53:06.000 Let me ask you this.
01:53:08.000 When you hang, do you have tension, or are you totally loose?
01:53:12.000 Totally loose.
01:53:12.000 You are.
01:53:13.000 Yes, but one trick that I do when I start getting really tired is I tense up.
01:53:17.000 Yes.
01:53:17.000 So I squeeze the bar harder, and I start doing these.
01:53:19.000 We go up, and then let down.
01:53:21.000 I go up, and then let down.
01:53:22.000 It's almost like it's distracting me from the fact that my hands are burning out.
01:53:25.000 Okay.
01:53:26.000 And I feel like it also engages like maybe almost like a different way of holding it that gives you like a little bit of a break.
01:53:33.000 Not much of a break.
01:53:34.000 You're still hanging on.
01:53:35.000 There goes the podcast because all I'm thinking about now is doing that.
01:53:38.000 Yeah.
01:53:39.000 I worked out today with him.
01:53:40.000 Here's the thing.
01:53:40.000 It's made my hands thicker.
01:53:42.000 It's harder for me to get my wedding ring off because my fingers are actually getting thicker.
01:53:46.000 I worked out with my friend Rudy Reyes.
01:53:49.000 Do you know who that is?
01:53:50.000 No, I don't.
01:53:50.000 Bring up Rudy Reyes.
01:53:51.000 What did he do to you, Brian?
01:53:52.000 Don't worry about it.
01:53:53.000 Let's take a look at his body for a second.
01:53:54.000 He's 48 years old.
01:53:55.000 Please understand what he's about.
01:53:57.000 Did he make you get pumped?
01:53:58.000 We worked kettlebells, bro, and we did some body weight.
01:54:00.000 Oh, you told me that this is like the first time you've ever really worked kettlebells, right?
01:54:04.000 Yes, sir.
01:54:04.000 It's amazing, isn't it?
01:54:06.000 It's what's up.
01:54:07.000 Fuck.
01:54:07.000 It's what I love.
01:54:08.000 Well, this is the second time, and I was sore.
01:54:11.000 It really, for me, is the best thing that translates into jiu-jitsu.
01:54:15.000 There's something about like, if you have like a 50 or 70 pound kettlebell, and you're clean and pressing it and do windmills and all that, that to me is like, that really works for jiu-jitsu.
01:54:26.000 That's not a good, you gotta see him now.
01:54:28.000 What are you talking about?
01:54:29.000 I don't want him to look better than that.
01:54:30.000 No, he couldn't be better looking.
01:54:32.000 I don't like it.
01:54:32.000 Look at him there.
01:54:33.000 I'm uncomfortable.
01:54:34.000 You gotta have him with his beard.
01:54:36.000 That's my boy right there.
01:54:37.000 He's getting weird.
01:54:37.000 Recon Marine.
01:54:38.000 Jesus.
01:54:39.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:54:40.000 He's getting kind of fat.
01:54:41.000 No, his body's so stupid.
01:54:43.000 He's a little fat.
01:54:44.000 You gotta see the chest.
01:54:45.000 Let's get him naked.
01:54:46.000 Look at his shoulder.
01:54:47.000 Stop right there.
01:54:48.000 Pause.
01:54:48.000 Like, back up a little bit.
01:54:49.000 Look at the striations in his shoulder.
01:54:51.000 That dude's like 4% body fat.
01:54:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54:53.000 It's stupid.
01:54:54.000 Let's go ahead and get him naked, bro.
01:54:56.000 What, he can't get down to two?
01:54:58.000 I've never seen a body like this.
01:55:00.000 It's me and Stevie Blue Eyes.
01:55:02.000 Everybody else, we're always like, well, that's who I want to look like.
01:55:03.000 You want to see it naked?
01:55:05.000 No, I didn't say it out loud.
01:55:06.000 Is it on his Instagram?
01:55:07.000 Does he take thirst pics?
01:55:08.000 Yeah, of course it does.
01:55:09.000 Let's see the first one.
01:55:09.000 Is that Gito Santino and him at the top?
01:55:11.000 No.
01:55:12.000 Look at you guys together.
01:55:13.000 I don't like how he's hugging you.
01:55:15.000 I'm getting jealous.
01:55:16.000 I don't like that picture.
01:55:17.000 Go to that picture again with him and you together.
01:55:19.000 Look at that.
01:55:19.000 I don't like how he's hugging you.
01:55:20.000 Look at me.
01:55:21.000 I look like a fucking old nurse.
01:55:22.000 I don't like how he's hugging you.
01:55:24.000 He's hugging you like he's going to take you down and buttfuck you.
01:55:25.000 He will.
01:55:26.000 Seems like he's gonna.
01:55:27.000 I was there with a bunch of- If I guessed, I would think this kept going.
01:55:30.000 You'd have a look on your face of shock, and then his wrist would be cinched tighter in your waist, and then next thing you see one of your legs is up in the air.
01:55:38.000 Oh!
01:55:38.000 There you go.
01:55:39.000 Do the kung fu thing.
01:55:41.000 The one on the right of that?
01:55:42.000 Yeah, for no reason.
01:55:44.000 Let's see.
01:55:46.000 He's doing kung fu with bands.
01:55:47.000 Just for the fuck of it.
01:55:50.000 If he started a cult, you know how many chicks he could bang?
01:55:52.000 Dude, that's what he looks like.
01:55:54.000 That's what he looks like.
01:55:55.000 If that guy was with wooden beads on, teaching people how to meditate, just slinging dick in a jungle somewhere.
01:56:01.000 Yes.
01:56:02.000 Right?
01:56:03.000 He pulls up to the class in a canoe and all the girls are waiting for him with beads on.
01:56:06.000 Like, class, let's begin.
01:56:08.000 Yep.
01:56:09.000 We begin with breathing.
01:56:10.000 He wears scarves.
01:56:12.000 He's more muscular than Frank Grillo.
01:56:14.000 He's sexier than Frank Grillo, which is impossible to pull off.
01:56:17.000 The tights are suspect.
01:56:19.000 I'm not liking the tights.
01:56:20.000 I'll wear them.
01:56:21.000 It just seems weird.
01:56:22.000 Why do you have tights on?
01:56:22.000 I don't know, dude, but it doesn't matter because he's Rudy Reyes and I'm doing that.
01:56:25.000 It's not a choice.
01:56:26.000 It's not a choice for a grown man who's not in a yoga class.
01:56:28.000 What are you doing?
01:56:29.000 Are you a gymnast?
01:56:30.000 Yeah, maybe.
01:56:31.000 He does all that shit.
01:56:32.000 He does rings.
01:56:33.000 He does all that shit.
01:56:34.000 Jesus.
01:56:35.000 We gotta get serious, bro.
01:56:37.000 About what?
01:56:37.000 I don't know.
01:56:38.000 Everything?
01:56:40.000 You know what's fucking pathetic at 52?
01:56:42.000 Still talking about working out.
01:56:44.000 Still trying to get better and stronger.
01:56:46.000 I disagree.
01:56:47.000 I can't wait to go on testosterone.
01:56:48.000 Listen, I enjoy everything that I do.
01:56:51.000 I enjoy every part of being a man.
01:56:54.000 I do too.
01:56:54.000 It's fun.
01:56:55.000 I know.
01:56:55.000 It's fun.
01:56:56.000 So if it keeps going, why is that weird?
01:56:58.000 I like it.
01:56:59.000 I liked it when I was 30. I like it now.
01:57:01.000 But I want the David Sinclair drugs.
01:57:03.000 I want to figure out how to have the wind of a 30-year-old.
01:57:08.000 My body's betraying me.
01:57:09.000 Whitney told me she started taking NAD. She's been taking NAD injections.
01:57:13.000 Jamie, there's a place that hooks that up, right?
01:57:15.000 What is NAD? That's a good question.
01:57:19.000 I'd butcher it.
01:57:20.000 But you can take it in pill form, too, which I've been doing.
01:57:23.000 Oh, you have?
01:57:23.000 Yes.
01:57:24.000 Oh, is that what he was talking about, Sinclair?
01:57:25.000 Mm-hmm.
01:57:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:57:26.000 Mm-hmm.
01:57:27.000 There's a lot of other stuff that people are taking note that actually, it supposedly maybe increases your lifespan but decreases performance.
01:57:34.000 That's that metformin stuff.
01:57:36.000 Oh, yeah, that's it.
01:57:36.000 Yeah, that is, there's a lot of controversy with that.
01:57:39.000 Like, as soon as we did that podcast, people that I know that are more into the performance side of athletics and nutrition and well-being, they were like, eh, eh, eh.
01:57:46.000 Yeah.
01:57:47.000 That stuff is not really what you want me to do.
01:57:49.000 I talked to my doctor about it.
01:57:50.000 He said you're, you know, you're...
01:57:52.000 Blood work doesn't look like you would need it.
01:57:55.000 Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide.
01:58:01.000 Wow.
01:58:02.000 Say the first word.
01:58:04.000 Nicotinamide.
01:58:05.000 Nicotinamide.
01:58:06.000 Nicotinamide.
01:58:06.000 Nicotinamide.
01:58:07.000 Adenine.
01:58:08.000 Adenine.
01:58:08.000 Adenine.
01:58:10.000 Dionucleotide.
01:58:10.000 Yeah.
01:58:11.000 There's a problem with being a doctor and a scientist.
01:58:13.000 You have to remember all that fucking Latin.
01:58:14.000 Why?
01:58:15.000 Why is that?
01:58:16.000 May slow or even reverse the aging process.
01:58:18.000 What does it say, Jamie?
01:58:19.000 Put it back up?
01:58:20.000 Reverse the aspects of aging.
01:58:21.000 Also delay the progression of age-related diseases.
01:58:24.000 Holla at your boy.
01:58:25.000 If Whitney goes back in time and starts looking like she's 20, you know, it works.
01:58:29.000 She looks pretty damn good.
01:58:30.000 She looks pretty good.
01:58:31.000 Yeah.
01:58:31.000 She's doing it every day, too.
01:58:32.000 I love Whitney.
01:58:33.000 She's awesome.
01:58:33.000 I fucking love her.
01:58:34.000 She's one of the smartest people I know.
01:58:35.000 I just love her.
01:58:36.000 I'm one of the most well-read.
01:58:37.000 Look, she's always bringing up some books she read.
01:58:39.000 She's awesome.
01:58:40.000 Yeah, she's always curious about shit.
01:58:45.000 That's so important in this life, is just to constantly...
01:58:47.000 When you stop being curious about things, you just kind of go...
01:58:50.000 I know.
01:58:51.000 She fucking shoots me when I don't realize I'm being shot.
01:58:55.000 She's videotaping me when I'm doing my usual silly shit in the green room, but I don't...
01:58:59.000 And I'm just like, the other day I was coming in and I was...
01:59:02.000 And I was just, I was like, the thing is I shoot guns down.
01:59:06.000 And then, and I'm doing this fucking weird, acting like a complete idiot.
01:59:11.000 And she's videotaping the whole fucking thing.
01:59:13.000 And then puts it on her story.
01:59:15.000 I'm like, Whitney!
01:59:16.000 Of course.
01:59:18.000 When are we going hunting?
01:59:20.000 Why don't you take me hunting?
01:59:21.000 Well, because you're not really fully committed.
01:59:24.000 Bullshit!
01:59:25.000 I'm there.
01:59:26.000 Number one, I'm dead-eye.
01:59:27.000 Number two, I make you laugh.
01:59:29.000 Number three, I'm game-eye.
01:59:30.000 I'm 100% down to go hunting with you.
01:59:32.000 You don't have to convince me.
01:59:34.000 But the difference is, I do it for all my meat now, and I bow-hunt.
01:59:38.000 I need meat too, bro.
01:59:39.000 Listen, we started out together, Brian, in 2012. We hunted together for the first time.
01:59:43.000 And you went one way, and I went another way.
01:59:46.000 You went the bow and arrow way, and you bought me a bow.
01:59:49.000 How about this?
01:59:51.000 I didn't buy you a bow.
01:59:53.000 Hoyt paid for that bow.
01:59:55.000 Hoyt got you that bow.
01:59:56.000 I thought you got it.
01:59:57.000 No, I organized it.
01:59:58.000 I had it sent to you.
01:59:59.000 I've never shot it.
02:00:00.000 You should have shot it.
02:00:01.000 It's old now.
02:00:02.000 I gotta bring it here.
02:00:03.000 Gotta get a new one.
02:00:03.000 My dad was like, you and Joe Rogan look very similar, like brothers.
02:00:06.000 Well, we basically are.
02:00:08.000 Well, we were in Wikipedia for most of our lives.
02:00:10.000 I know.
02:00:10.000 Until somebody figured it out.
02:00:11.000 Fuckers.
02:00:13.000 Fuckers.
02:00:13.000 It said half-brother to Brian Cowan on my Wikipedia bio forever.
02:00:17.000 People always say, your brother's a good guy.
02:00:19.000 Yep.
02:00:19.000 Thanks.
02:00:20.000 Yeah, well, we always talk about this, but the moment we met, we're like, oh, fellow idiot.
02:00:25.000 I know.
02:00:25.000 How are you, traveler?
02:00:27.000 It's the greatest.
02:00:28.000 It's the greatest.
02:00:29.000 I gotta do it all.
02:00:30.000 I gotta do jiu-jitsu boxing, but I don't end up in jail.
02:00:32.000 I was like, well, that sounds like my kind of guy.
02:00:35.000 Dummies.
02:00:36.000 We both had pit bulls.
02:00:37.000 We were both...
02:00:37.000 Dummies!
02:00:38.000 Oh my god.
02:00:39.000 Super duper dummies.
02:00:40.000 You picked me up so early in the morning.
02:00:41.000 I was like, I want a dog just out of the box.
02:00:44.000 Dude, I look good with a beard.
02:00:45.000 Look at that.
02:00:46.000 And a shotgun.
02:00:46.000 That's turkey hunting.
02:00:47.000 Turkey hunting is fun.
02:00:48.000 Because it's like, I swear to god, there's a feeling that you get when you kill an animal that's not a happy feeling.
02:00:57.000 I agree.
02:00:58.000 There's a remorse that is engulfing the happiness.
02:01:04.000 There's happiness, but there's also a remorse.
02:01:06.000 I agree.
02:01:06.000 I get serious.
02:01:07.000 I get sad.
02:01:08.000 There's no remorse when you blast a turkey.
02:01:10.000 I'm here to tell you.
02:01:11.000 I shot a turkey in the head.
02:01:12.000 I felt nothing.
02:01:13.000 Not only that, I put it on Instagram.
02:01:15.000 Nobody gave a fuck.
02:01:16.000 I was holding that turkey up by its feet.
02:01:18.000 I'm like, shot a turkey.
02:01:19.000 Nobody cared.
02:01:20.000 I know.
02:01:21.000 No vegans care about turkeys.
02:01:22.000 They should die.
02:01:23.000 And if you're around them, you care about them even less.
02:01:25.000 Well, everything wants to kill a turkey to the point where you have to cover your face because otherwise they're like, ah!
02:01:29.000 And they run away.
02:01:30.000 Look at the size of the one Steve got.
02:01:32.000 That's a big turkey.
02:01:32.000 That's what I call a big fucking tom.
02:01:35.000 Yeah, it's a big-ass turkey, man.
02:01:37.000 I love using hunting terminology around hunters so they think I'm a more seasoned hunter than I really am.
02:01:45.000 They're a cool animal.
02:01:46.000 Turkey's a cool animal, man.
02:01:48.000 It really is.
02:01:48.000 Really?
02:01:49.000 Yeah, it's interesting.
02:01:50.000 It's a bird that kind of flies, but doesn't.
02:01:54.000 Yeah, it'd be the last bird I would choose to be.
02:01:55.000 They go up in a tree.
02:01:56.000 Yeah.
02:01:57.000 But that's about it.
02:01:58.000 They can just barely make it to a tree.
02:02:00.000 Gotta worry about coyotes, foxes.
02:02:02.000 Everything.
02:02:02.000 You gotta worry about everything.
02:02:03.000 Everything wants to eat you.
02:02:04.000 Ugh.
02:02:04.000 Everything, you know?
02:02:05.000 Probably other birds.
02:02:07.000 Oh, hell yeah.
02:02:08.000 Oh, dude, my kids found, in my neighborhood, they found a fucking, my son goes, Daddy, there's a bird that's dead.
02:02:16.000 And I go there, and it was a dove with no head, and its chest had been eaten out, clearly by a bird of prey.
02:02:24.000 Yeah, or an owl.
02:02:25.000 We have a big owl in the neighborhood.
02:02:28.000 Owls don't fuck around.
02:02:29.000 I had an owl that was killing hawks in my neighborhood.
02:02:32.000 What?
02:02:32.000 Yeah, these hawks were all beheaded.
02:02:35.000 And this owl just decided to start fucking up these hawks.
02:02:38.000 There is one of the best videos that I've ever seen online of animal interactions where an owl swoops down and snatches a hawk out of its nest.
02:02:47.000 Have you ever seen that?
02:02:48.000 Yeah, they got a camera on this nest of hawks.
02:02:51.000 So they kill hawks.
02:02:52.000 They kill whatever the fuck they want.
02:02:54.000 Give a hoot, don't pollute.
02:02:55.000 Listen, that thing's a ruthless fucking killer.
02:02:58.000 Kill cats too.
02:02:59.000 They kill everything.
02:02:59.000 Cats, rabbits.
02:03:00.000 One of them, I was driving down the street to my house and I was driving and this owl was like flying over the street holding a rabbit and just decided I was getting too close to him so he just let the rabbit go and splat.
02:03:11.000 So I got out of the car to look at the rabbit, just disemboweled rabbit.
02:03:14.000 Just tore this fucking thing apart.
02:03:17.000 But this video, it was on my Instagram.
02:03:20.000 It's night vision.
02:03:22.000 And you see these hawks just hanging out in the nest like, oh, well, look at this.
02:03:26.000 I guess we'll be here for the night.
02:03:27.000 No, look at the eyes.
02:03:29.000 Look at the eyes.
02:03:29.000 Look at the eyes.
02:03:30.000 I didn't know that these were hawks.
02:03:31.000 Bitch!
02:03:32.000 Oh!
02:03:34.000 And the other one's like, hey, what the fuck happened?
02:03:37.000 Oh, no.
02:03:38.000 What the fuck happened?
02:03:39.000 What the fuck happened?
02:03:40.000 One more time.
02:03:41.000 Watch.
02:03:41.000 Look at the eyes.
02:03:42.000 Look at the eyes in the distance.
02:03:43.000 Look at how quick.
02:03:43.000 See the eyes?
02:03:44.000 Look at that.
02:03:45.000 Here it comes.
02:03:47.000 Bitch!
02:03:49.000 I love that video.
02:03:50.000 It says, Owl Attacks Hawk.
02:03:52.000 You can find the video online, on YouTube.
02:03:55.000 Enjoy.
02:03:56.000 Owl Attacks Hawk.
02:03:58.000 And you can find me at the Wilbur Theater.
02:04:00.000 Oh, are you doing comedy on New Year's Eve at the Wilbur Theater in Boston?
02:04:02.000 No, dude, I don't want to talk about that.
02:04:04.000 Do you have a whole new hour?
02:04:06.000 I do have a whole new hour.
02:04:07.000 Wait a minute.
02:04:08.000 So you're going to do comedy on New Year's Eve in Boston?
02:04:11.000 At the Wilbur.
02:04:12.000 Oh my goodness, people.
02:04:13.000 And I'll be there.
02:04:13.000 I'll be in Arizona this Saturday at the Celebrity Theater if you want to come by.
02:04:16.000 I love the Celebrity Theater.
02:04:17.000 It's in the round.
02:04:18.000 Yeah.
02:04:19.000 That's a great place.
02:04:19.000 I'm excited.
02:04:20.000 That spins, too, a little bit, right?
02:04:21.000 I didn't know that.
02:04:22.000 I think it does a slow spin.
02:04:23.000 I gotta be ready.
02:04:24.000 I think you can turn it on or off.
02:04:26.000 I think it's up to you.
02:04:27.000 All right.
02:04:27.000 Yeah.
02:04:28.000 I'm pretty sure the Celebrity Theater spins.
02:04:29.000 All right.
02:04:30.000 Find out if that's true.
02:04:31.000 George Lopez did a special...
02:04:33.000 Something there tomorrow.
02:04:33.000 No, no.
02:04:34.000 Louis C.K. did a special there.
02:04:37.000 I think Lopez might have done something there too, but that's a great, great, great theater.
02:04:41.000 It's cool.
02:04:41.000 It's intimate, even though it's like a couple thousand people.
02:04:45.000 There it is.
02:04:45.000 Oh, there it is.
02:04:45.000 Get the fuck out of here.
02:04:46.000 Wow.
02:04:46.000 See, I think that thing rotates.
02:04:48.000 Oh, that's so cool.
02:04:48.000 Yeah, I think that thing rotates.
02:04:50.000 John Holgram's, you know, he's that radio guy.
02:04:52.000 He's a great guy.
02:04:53.000 It's his happy endings thing.
02:04:55.000 That's the first place I ever met Segura.
02:04:58.000 Really?
02:04:58.000 Yeah, I worked with Segura on the...
02:05:00.000 There was a tour I did with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron, and we had a different local guy open up in every place, and Segura opened up there.
02:05:08.000 That's how I became buddies with him.
02:05:09.000 Yeah.
02:05:10.000 Funny, man.
02:05:12.000 He's the best.
02:05:13.000 There it is.
02:05:13.000 Brian Cowens in Phoenix with Frank Caliendo and Adam Ray.
02:05:18.000 That's right.
02:05:18.000 That's a crazy lineup.
02:05:20.000 Uh-huh.
02:05:21.000 Are you going to spin it if they let you spin it?
02:05:23.000 Find out if that thing spins.
02:05:25.000 Look at this.
02:05:26.000 Look at this.
02:05:26.000 Look at this.
02:05:26.000 Chris D'Elia goes, Hey everyone, don't go to this.
02:05:30.000 He's such a dick.
02:05:31.000 He said the first fucking thing on my thing.
02:05:34.000 Hey everyone, don't go to this.
02:05:36.000 Your fake feud with him is very strange.
02:05:39.000 So much fun.
02:05:40.000 You guys make videos about each other.
02:05:41.000 He did the podcast yesterday.
02:05:43.000 It was...
02:05:43.000 The funniest thing in the world.
02:05:44.000 The most insulting.
02:05:46.000 One time we were doing the podcast and he was just lying there.
02:05:49.000 And I go, be respectful and sit the fuck up.
02:05:51.000 And I started talking and he just got up and he slapped me in my mouth.
02:05:55.000 And I was like, I'll fucking kill you.
02:05:57.000 And I came at him and he started going, tried to kiss me.
02:06:00.000 It was like kryptonite.
02:06:02.000 Yeah, he's a weirdo.
02:06:04.000 Yeah.
02:06:05.000 Weirdo.
02:06:05.000 He's from outer space.
02:06:06.000 Yeah.
02:06:06.000 Me and Will Sass always say he's from outer space.
02:06:09.000 There it is.
02:06:09.000 Look, look.
02:06:10.000 Wow, he smacked him right in the face.
02:06:14.000 Funny motherfucker, man.
02:06:15.000 Hilarious.
02:06:16.000 And a great guy, too.
02:06:17.000 Just a good dude.
02:06:18.000 I like being around him.
02:06:19.000 He's fun.
02:06:20.000 Yeah, these are my inner circle.
02:06:23.000 Well, we're all weirdos, right?
02:06:24.000 He's a weirdo weirdo.
02:06:26.000 You reminded me of what misfits we are because I wanted to do this idea where I was going to do this thing for Onnit where we're going to come up with funny ways to sell product.
02:06:36.000 I thought it would be a good way to recruit some comics and get them a job.
02:06:41.000 Sit around a table and create a marketing thing.
02:06:46.000 None of them.
02:06:47.000 Like, two of them got back to me.
02:06:49.000 Everybody else is like, sorry, I didn't have time.
02:06:51.000 They're just fucking misfits.
02:06:52.000 Misfits.
02:06:52.000 Like, you can make real money, you fucking idiot.
02:06:54.000 Nah.
02:06:55.000 Too tired.
02:06:55.000 Too tired.
02:06:56.000 Too high.
02:06:57.000 Gotta get up.
02:06:57.000 Too high.
02:06:58.000 Gotta show at the Laugh Factory in two hours.
02:06:59.000 Yeah, fuck off.
02:07:00.000 Can't make it.
02:07:01.000 That's why you're funny.
02:07:02.000 That's why you're funny.
02:07:02.000 Yeah, that's a lot of them.
02:07:04.000 A lot of people are funny because of the fact that they're impulsive.
02:07:08.000 They don't have discipline, and they just...
02:07:11.000 Yeah.
02:07:12.000 That's part of what makes them funny.
02:07:13.000 Self-loathing.
02:07:15.000 They're also wild.
02:07:16.000 They're wild people.
02:07:17.000 They're not good at being disciplined and rigid and on a schedule that they create themselves.
02:07:21.000 You can't like yourself.
02:07:22.000 I would tell you that my acting...
02:07:23.000 I was in Jeffrey Tamworth's class and doing an acting thing and Jeffrey Tamworth looked at me and goes, You got a little self-esteem problem, huh?
02:07:29.000 I feel like your second banana in general in life.
02:07:31.000 And some guy goes, Thank God!
02:07:35.000 And everybody looks up at him and he goes, well, he wouldn't be funny if he didn't hate himself, so I'll take him this way.
02:07:40.000 Never forgot it.
02:07:40.000 I was like, yeah, alright.
02:07:41.000 That's hilarious.
02:07:43.000 I don't know if you have to like yourself that much.
02:07:45.000 I think you should always be a little dissatisfied with yourself.
02:07:47.000 It works for me.
02:07:48.000 Yeah, I don't think you should be satisfied very often if you want to be good at anything.
02:07:54.000 I'm fulfilled.
02:07:56.000 You're on a path, right?
02:07:57.000 You're on an improvement and growth path.
02:08:00.000 You're trying to get better.
02:08:00.000 Whatever it is.
02:08:01.000 It's tennis, right?
02:08:02.000 You're trying to get better at it all the time.
02:08:04.000 If you want to get better at it all the time, you've got to be scrutinizing.
02:08:07.000 You can't be happy about certain moments where you were really good and think that's you.
02:08:11.000 You've got to be thinking about the things that didn't go good.
02:08:14.000 I've got to fix that part.
02:08:15.000 There's that famous story, whether it's true or not, but I think it is.
02:08:18.000 Rafael Nadal had just won Wimbledon.
02:08:21.000 One of the greatest of all time.
02:08:22.000 Have you ever seen him play?
02:08:23.000 His athleticism, his power.
02:08:25.000 He hits the ball so hard that the ball revolves twice as fast.
02:08:30.000 It makes 20 as many revolutions as the average high-level tennis player.
02:08:34.000 That's how much spin it is.
02:08:36.000 Like it's 80 versus 40 or something.
02:08:38.000 And he got out and he just won Wimbledon.
02:08:43.000 And he's back in the locker room going, I don't know if my grip should have been a little bit...
02:08:49.000 I think I'm going to change.
02:08:52.000 It's still adjusting after he won.
02:08:54.000 You have to be.
02:08:54.000 That's how you get to be that guy.
02:08:56.000 And as soon as you get to be that guy and you go, oh, I got it, then you're going to fall off.
02:09:01.000 You're done.
02:09:01.000 That happens to everybody.
02:09:02.000 Don't you feel stand-ups that way, too, though?
02:09:04.000 100%.
02:09:04.000 Well, we were talking about with Kinnison, right?
02:09:07.000 Yeah.
02:09:07.000 You know, Kinnison, when he was on fire, he was longing for acceptance and longing for respect and attention.
02:09:15.000 And he was going to take it!
02:09:17.000 Yeah.
02:09:17.000 He just went out there fucking guns blazing like an animal.
02:09:20.000 But then once he got out, he's partying with Bon Jovi and Motley Crue, and they're doing Blow, and fucking on the tour bus, and, you know, drinking vodka until 5 in the morning.
02:09:29.000 All that chaos.
02:09:30.000 It's just...
02:09:32.000 It stops being the same thing.
02:09:34.000 Life is now, you're celebrating the fact that you're the shit instead of you're desperate to make the best work you can make.
02:09:42.000 Desperate to work.
02:09:42.000 I talked to this, I won't say the name of the famous rock and roller who made a...
02:09:47.000 Elton John?
02:09:49.000 May as well be.
02:09:50.000 Mick Jagger?
02:09:51.000 He made a...
02:09:52.000 He made a seminal album, like an album that's a classic album.
02:09:55.000 And I said, what do you think it was?
02:09:56.000 He goes, I was just so desperate to be heard.
02:09:58.000 I was desperate to be heard.
02:10:00.000 And then you get older and you get rich and you kind of prove that you can do it and you lose...
02:10:04.000 Bob Dylan talks about that.
02:10:06.000 He goes, I don't know who wrote those songs.
02:10:08.000 I don't remember.
02:10:10.000 They read his lyrics back and he said, isn't that something?
02:10:14.000 I'm like, who did that?
02:10:15.000 Not me.
02:10:16.000 I don't know.
02:10:17.000 I can't do that anymore.
02:10:18.000 That's a fear of mine.
02:10:20.000 I want to be...
02:10:22.000 I want to stay hungry and...
02:10:23.000 Well, with stand-up, the difference is you can't just go back and redo your old songs.
02:10:28.000 You have to constantly be relevant.
02:10:31.000 You have to have stuff that works right now.
02:10:33.000 And the people can't have heard it too many times.
02:10:36.000 It's not like songs.
02:10:37.000 I still want to hear...
02:10:39.000 Like, if you went to see the Rolling Stones, you'd want to hear Brown Sugar.
02:10:43.000 You'd want to hear it.
02:10:44.000 There's songs that are just iconic and they give you a good feeling when you hear them.
02:10:49.000 Not jokes.
02:10:50.000 No, man.
02:10:51.000 Jokes.
02:10:51.000 I appreciate old comedy.
02:10:53.000 I go back and watch it.
02:10:56.000 Like I'm watching art or something like that.
02:10:59.000 I'm watching someone's work and I can appreciate it.
02:11:01.000 But I don't appreciate it from the feeling that you get when you see it the first time and you laugh and you're surprised and the punchlines come out and you're like, I was surprised that Bill Cosby had only done one album.
02:11:14.000 What?
02:11:14.000 Yeah.
02:11:15.000 One or two albums.
02:11:16.000 I was really shocked at that.
02:11:17.000 I was like, I thought he'd done like 14 or something.
02:11:19.000 Is that true?
02:11:20.000 Yeah.
02:11:21.000 Did mostly what he did was videos?
02:11:24.000 I guess.
02:11:25.000 I don't know.
02:11:25.000 He was just...
02:11:26.000 Didn't he have like albums of his videos though?
02:11:30.000 I don't know.
02:11:31.000 Really?
02:11:31.000 We looked it up and I was like, I thought he'd done like 14 or 15 albums.
02:11:37.000 Found a lot.
02:11:38.000 How many?
02:11:38.000 I mean, I just typed in Bill Cosby albums.
02:11:42.000 He's got three separate vinyls.
02:11:44.000 So three albums, three vinyls, and some other stuff?
02:11:47.000 1963, 77, 2004, 70, 71, 67, 68, 76. All right, so much for that.
02:11:52.000 Oh, he had a lot.
02:11:53.000 Whoops.
02:11:54.000 Me and Schaub looked it up, and we were like, we can only find...
02:11:56.000 Well, you guys are morons, and you don't know how to Google.
02:11:58.000 Jamie's a wizard.
02:11:59.000 Jamie, you're good.
02:12:00.000 Hey, fucking Chin!
02:12:02.000 Get it together!
02:12:03.000 Hey, Chin!
02:12:04.000 Get it together!
02:12:04.000 Hey, Chin!
02:12:04.000 Get it together!
02:12:05.000 You guys didn't even type Cosby right.
02:12:07.000 God damn it.
02:12:08.000 Bill Burr and I were supposed to go see him before the scandal hit.
02:12:12.000 We were supposed to go see him.
02:12:14.000 We were going to make a trip to go see him in Vegas.
02:12:15.000 I think Bill wound up seeing him another time after that.
02:12:19.000 Oh, look at this.
02:12:20.000 Hold on.
02:12:20.000 Come on.
02:12:22.000 Hey, man.
02:12:22.000 That's what I thought.
02:12:23.000 That's what I said.
02:12:25.000 20 albums.
02:12:26.000 I said, and then I got...
02:12:27.000 He's got music albums, dude.
02:12:28.000 He's got one, two...
02:12:29.000 Stop, stop, stop, stop.
02:12:30.000 He's got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...
02:12:34.000 What?
02:12:35.000 That's like 17 music albums.
02:12:36.000 No.
02:12:37.000 And he sings?
02:12:37.000 This is crazy.
02:12:38.000 Look at all these music albums.
02:12:40.000 20-ish.
02:12:41.000 We had marching band.
02:12:42.000 Bro.
02:12:43.000 Concerts.
02:12:44.000 He had music albums.
02:12:47.000 So 12 albums.
02:12:48.000 More than that.
02:12:49.000 Wait, no, we have way more, man.
02:12:50.000 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. You couldn't have been more wrong, and yet you stated it so confidently.
02:12:56.000 21!
02:12:57.000 Chin, you're fired.
02:12:58.000 God damn it!
02:12:59.000 Because I said this, and then we'd only find one, and I was so embarrassed.
02:13:02.000 I rarely get embarrassed.
02:13:04.000 Well, now you're embarrassed again.
02:13:05.000 That's what's really a shame.
02:13:06.000 No, no.
02:13:06.000 I was right.
02:13:07.000 No, because I was right the first time I said, fuck off.
02:13:09.000 Edit that out.
02:13:10.000 Edit all that out.
02:13:11.000 I see what you did.
02:13:12.000 I see what you did.
02:13:13.000 He's got a bunch of Grammys, too.
02:13:14.000 Yeah.
02:13:15.000 You get to keep those.
02:13:16.000 Even after you're in jail for rape?
02:13:18.000 Oh, yeah.
02:13:19.000 Sure.
02:13:20.000 Only person ever, like, OJ was supposed to lose his Heisman and they can't find it, I think?
02:13:24.000 Oh, that's right.
02:13:25.000 He's like, hmm, can't find it.
02:13:26.000 I don't know where it went.
02:13:27.000 Hey, Twitter world, can't find my Heisman.
02:13:29.000 Yeah.
02:13:31.000 His Twitter feed is so bizarre.
02:13:33.000 Because he does it different than anybody.
02:13:36.000 Everything is hey Twitter world.
02:13:38.000 And everything is about football.
02:13:40.000 It's all about what this guy needs to do.
02:13:44.000 And obviously he knows a lot about football.
02:13:46.000 He's a fucking world class player.
02:13:48.000 One of the best of all time.
02:13:51.000 In the comments, or where the real show is, the comments is all knife emojis, and you really killed that one, OJ. And it's like everyone takes their own crack at him in the comments.
02:14:03.000 Goddamn.
02:14:03.000 What's he doing now?
02:14:05.000 I wonder if he's selling merch.
02:14:07.000 Oh my god, selling merch.
02:14:09.000 This should be like a hidden knife in there sometime.
02:14:11.000 You know, like an angle where, like, you know, Sierra's legs are crossed.
02:14:15.000 There should be, like, something at the bottom.
02:14:18.000 If you look at the silhouette, it looks like a knife.
02:14:20.000 Hey, Twitter world, look at this.
02:14:22.000 Holiday juice or something.
02:14:23.000 Yeah, that is crazy.
02:14:25.000 I wonder if he makes money.
02:14:25.000 He's going to sell out.
02:14:26.000 Well, I don't think he can spend it.
02:14:29.000 What do you mean?
02:14:30.000 He owes the Goldmans a large sum of money from a civil case.
02:14:37.000 They can't get the money out of his pension because he's got an NFL pension.
02:14:41.000 That's one of the reasons I think why he moved to Florida.
02:14:44.000 Florida has certain laws that protect you.
02:14:46.000 Now he's in Nevada, I think.
02:14:48.000 There's places that have different laws to protect you from lawsuits where your pension is protected.
02:14:55.000 You never have to worry about being broke because of a lawsuit.
02:14:57.000 He's paid a serious price for all that.
02:15:00.000 Two people are dead, Brian.
02:15:02.000 Yeah, I know.
02:15:02.000 I don't think it's that serious.
02:15:04.000 He's out there playing golf and going, hey, Twitter world.
02:15:06.000 Yeah.
02:15:06.000 And he wasn't really even charged with that.
02:15:08.000 He was charged with kidnapping.
02:15:10.000 Yeah.
02:15:11.000 What's funny is that he's allowed to be on Twitter, whereas think about some of the people that have been banned for Twitter for saying things like, a woman is never a man, or a man is never a woman.
02:15:23.000 That's amazing to me.
02:15:24.000 Dead naming.
02:15:25.000 If you call Caitlyn Jenner, Bruce Jenner, that's dead naming Caitlyn, and then you are banned for life from Twitter.
02:15:32.000 Is that really true?
02:15:33.000 100%.
02:15:34.000 100%.
02:15:35.000 Where did this all come from?
02:15:36.000 We're that hyper...
02:15:37.000 It's what we were talking about earlier with people getting mad at someone for saying Merry Christmas.
02:15:41.000 But you had Jack Dorsey on.
02:15:42.000 It's the exact same thing.
02:15:43.000 Jack Dorsey does not want this.
02:15:44.000 Jack Dorsey is calling for some sort of a decentralized version of Twitter.
02:15:48.000 Yeah.
02:15:48.000 He was talking about it when he was here, like having a Wild West Twitter where everything goes.
02:15:52.000 Yeah.
02:15:53.000 And I think he's right.
02:15:54.000 And Jack is a very internet-minded guy.
02:15:57.000 Here's the thing you have to understand when you're talking about being the CEO of something that is literally responsible for billions of pieces of information every single day.
02:16:06.000 He doesn't control everything.
02:16:07.000 He's managing at scale.
02:16:09.000 He's the CEO of a company that he's under pressure to make more profit.
02:16:13.000 It's not as simple as anybody would like to think.
02:16:16.000 And it's not like he can say, hey, I think no one should ever be banned, and he can just go ahead and do that.
02:16:21.000 He doesn't have the power to do that.
02:16:23.000 He has the power to suggest it.
02:16:24.000 He has the power to give his opinion.
02:16:26.000 There's a lot of moving pieces.
02:16:27.000 A lot of moving pieces.
02:16:28.000 How does he make money?
02:16:29.000 How does Twitter make money?
02:16:30.000 That's a good question.
02:16:31.000 I don't know.
02:16:32.000 How do you scale that?
02:16:33.000 I worry very little.
02:16:35.000 I don't think about it.
02:16:36.000 I kind of like it.
02:16:37.000 I want it to stay around.
02:16:38.000 I think it's kind of interesting.
02:16:40.000 But I'm 100% convinced that with the implementation of AR, augmented reality, whether it's through Apple or someone's going to have glasses, I think anything we're doing now is literally like the MySpace of the future in terms of technological interaction.
02:16:56.000 I think the stuff we're doing right now is all like MySpace.
02:16:59.000 It's not going to be here.
02:17:00.000 So what do you think we're going to be doing?
02:17:01.000 I think we're going to be doing something with AR. We're going to be interacting with each other in some sort of a weird way.
02:17:06.000 AR, augmented reality.
02:17:08.000 So what does that mean?
02:17:09.000 Glasses, like minority report type shit.
02:17:12.000 Yeah.
02:17:12.000 You're going to have glasses where you're going to have things in front of you.
02:17:15.000 You can access menus and pull-downs.
02:17:17.000 You can make gestures and you can say things.
02:17:19.000 It'll Google things in front of your eyes.
02:17:21.000 You're going to be able to...
02:17:22.000 Here's a real thing.
02:17:23.000 Cool.
02:17:24.000 This is something that I think was in a movie, but it probably would work.
02:17:30.000 That people would have a social score that you would see when you're coming near them.
02:17:35.000 That's very scary to me.
02:17:36.000 You know how you go on a link and there's a bunch of restaurants and you can put the cursor over it and a little Yelp box pops up and it says it has four stars and 400 reviews and that pops up?
02:17:48.000 That could be you.
02:17:49.000 It could pop up like The kid, 52 years old, still fucks like a teenager.
02:17:53.000 Thank you.
02:17:55.000 And people could walk by and go, hmm, interesting.
02:17:57.000 On TRT? He's a bit of a Peter Pan, is he?
02:18:00.000 You know what I mean?
02:18:01.000 You already have that with Uber.
02:18:03.000 Uber can see how you're rated by the drivers.
02:18:06.000 Oh, that's interesting.
02:18:08.000 In a way, it's interesting because it's making us...
02:18:10.000 You can't hide behind...
02:18:11.000 Assholes are getting exposed.
02:18:13.000 It's making us nicer to each other, but it's also a form of...
02:18:18.000 It's kind of a prison.
02:18:21.000 You've got to always behave.
02:18:23.000 Everybody's watching everything you do.
02:18:25.000 Now, well, this is the new world, and we have to adjust to this new world, because in the future, there will be no barriers between people and information.
02:18:34.000 Those barriers are dissolving in front of our eyes, and people are scrambling to try to accept it, or not accept it, or fight against it, or keep up.
02:18:43.000 But it is.
02:18:44.000 It is.
02:18:45.000 You can't deny what it is.
02:18:47.000 It is.
02:18:48.000 It is real.
02:18:48.000 It's happening.
02:18:49.000 And it's going to keep happening.
02:18:50.000 It's going to keep getting weirder.
02:18:51.000 We didn't see Twitter coming.
02:18:52.000 We didn't see the internet coming.
02:18:54.000 We didn't see cell phone implementation on a global scale coming.
02:18:57.000 Nobody ever thought you were going to carry a phone with you everywhere you go 30 years ago.
02:19:01.000 That was never even the concept.
02:19:02.000 So you got 30 years, which is a blink of an eye in human history.
02:19:05.000 30 years later, everyone's got a goddamn phone.
02:19:08.000 They are literally everywhere.
02:19:09.000 30 years from now, it's probably going to become some next-level shit.
02:19:12.000 Well, it'll be part of our body.
02:19:14.000 We're not going to carry our phone around.
02:19:15.000 But also, I think it's interesting because it'll almost be like if everybody was naked all the time, nudity would be no big deal.
02:19:23.000 Unless you have a little tiny dick.
02:19:24.000 Until you have a little tiny dick, and that would be...
02:19:26.000 And even then, you'd find your...
02:19:28.000 Niche.
02:19:28.000 Would you really?
02:19:29.000 I always say, even if you have a little tiny dick, a lot of lesbians get hot girls.
02:19:35.000 Yeah, man.
02:19:35.000 There are girls that don't care.
02:19:38.000 There are girls that don't want to deal with my nine-inch piece.
02:19:40.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:19:41.000 Nine?
02:19:41.000 I know, and my personality and my money.
02:19:43.000 If you're into that, I'm your guy.
02:19:45.000 Is it thick like a snake?
02:19:45.000 That's what the media says.
02:19:47.000 I'm not going to describe my piece.
02:19:49.000 Does it attack?
02:19:50.000 I mean, he's got lungs.
02:19:52.000 You can see him breathe.
02:19:54.000 And he's got a crook so I can fuck around corners.
02:19:57.000 You should get it painted like an anaconda.
02:19:59.000 I'd love to, man.
02:20:00.000 Imagine if you got your dick tattooed like an anaconda.
02:20:02.000 Oh, Joe Rogan experience.
02:20:04.000 Does anybody get their dick tattooed?
02:20:05.000 Of course.
02:20:06.000 I know people have, but has anybody had a really good one done?
02:20:10.000 What would I do, though?
02:20:11.000 The American flag?
02:20:12.000 I don't know what I'd fucking...
02:20:13.000 Whenever anyone gets their dick tattooed, it's always like...
02:20:17.000 Like a fucking dragon or something like that.
02:20:20.000 What was that joke?
02:20:20.000 The ears are here where my balls are, but the dragon, the tip of the nose is red.
02:20:24.000 You want something that says, like, that joke where it's like, when it's soft, it says tiny, and when it's hard, it says Ticonderoga in New York.
02:20:30.000 Yeah.
02:20:31.000 Yes.
02:20:32.000 Exactly.
02:20:32.000 That's like that idea.
02:20:33.000 There's, uh, that's the future.
02:20:36.000 You know, tattoos on your face, wearing around.
02:20:38.000 Back in the day, nobody had, like, fucking Post Malone.
02:20:42.000 Post Malone in the 1970s, they'd just lock him in jail.
02:20:44.000 There's something wrong with this kid.
02:20:45.000 Why are you drawing on your face?
02:20:46.000 Still the dumbest, craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.
02:20:48.000 Yeah, always tired on his face.
02:20:50.000 I know.
02:20:50.000 Great musician, though.
02:20:51.000 Yep.
02:20:52.000 Really talented guy, but, like, hey, cut that out.
02:20:55.000 But, like, my point is, that didn't exist in the 1960s, right?
02:20:59.000 Yeah.
02:21:00.000 What about dick tattoos?
02:21:01.000 Like, what if that becomes a norm?
02:21:03.000 What if a girl, like, takes your pants down in the future and is like, you don't even have your dick tattooed up.
02:21:06.000 Well, I thought for a while.
02:21:08.000 First of all, I'll tell you what has changed.
02:21:11.000 I think young men, Manscaped, they shave all the hair off there.
02:21:14.000 Is that guy real?
02:21:15.000 I typed in face tattoos in the 1960s and just saw it come up.
02:21:18.000 Wow.
02:21:19.000 Oh, that's crazy.
02:21:20.000 He's got like birds on his forehead and a Jesus on his forehead.
02:21:25.000 Is that real though?
02:21:26.000 Probably.
02:21:26.000 I mean, for sure somebody did it.
02:21:28.000 Yeah, but...
02:21:29.000 But it's never been as common as it is now, particularly for show business.
02:21:33.000 Imagine if Fred Astaire had face tattoos.
02:21:39.000 That girl, what's she got on her cheek there, man?
02:21:42.000 Harry Styles.
02:21:43.000 No, that's not real, though.
02:21:44.000 No, she doesn't.
02:21:45.000 It's not real.
02:21:46.000 How do you know?
02:21:47.000 It was a viral story a couple months ago.
02:21:49.000 Oh, it is fake?
02:21:49.000 Yeah.
02:21:50.000 Oh, it's a drawing?
02:21:51.000 Even though if it's a drawing, who cares?
02:21:52.000 It's still crazy.
02:21:53.000 She let a guy draw on her face.
02:21:55.000 Honey, that's your cheek.
02:21:56.000 Don't tolerate that kind of shit in your life.
02:21:59.000 Well, there's a lot of people getting face tattoos.
02:22:01.000 Well, when the game was posting pictures of his huge dick in underwear, you ever see that?
02:22:07.000 We talked about another dude's giant dick in underwear.
02:22:10.000 They had to take it out of cats, apparently, in some way.
02:22:12.000 His hog?
02:22:13.000 Yeah.
02:22:14.000 Because it's that big?
02:22:14.000 I guess.
02:22:15.000 Congratulations.
02:22:16.000 We'll take a look at this.
02:22:17.000 It's not the game.
02:22:17.000 We're talking about somebody else.
02:22:18.000 Oh.
02:22:19.000 The guy in Cats that was on Instagram.
02:22:21.000 He had a piece on him?
02:22:22.000 A giant piece on him.
02:22:23.000 And Instagram took the photo down.
02:22:24.000 Because they're like, this is too sensitive.
02:22:27.000 Because he's just got a giant hog in his underwear.
02:22:30.000 And black underwear, by the way.
02:22:31.000 There it is, right there.
02:22:31.000 Look at that piece.
02:22:33.000 That's a dick.
02:22:34.000 Hold on.
02:22:35.000 Here's the thing.
02:22:36.000 Congratulations, first of all.
02:22:38.000 That dude was playing with himself before that.
02:22:40.000 Probably.
02:22:41.000 100%.
02:22:41.000 Come on, man.
02:22:42.000 I'm not hating it.
02:22:43.000 Listen, man, put in work.
02:22:46.000 Put in work.
02:22:48.000 Now...
02:22:48.000 But the game has a giant dick as well.
02:22:52.000 Have you seen the video?
02:22:54.000 Have you seen the picture he posted?
02:22:55.000 No, I try to avoid pictures of dudes' dicks.
02:22:56.000 Well, I think it's important right now.
02:22:58.000 I know that's your favorite thing to look at.
02:22:59.000 No, that's not...
02:22:59.000 That's fake news.
02:23:00.000 It's like what you go to all the time.
02:23:02.000 It's fake fucking news, dude.
02:23:03.000 That's your go-to thing.
02:23:04.000 All right.
02:23:05.000 That's your opinion.
02:23:05.000 There you go.
02:23:06.000 Jesus Christ.
02:23:07.000 Yeah.
02:23:08.000 That's outrageous.
02:23:09.000 She does it a lot.
02:23:10.000 I thought men are going to start doing this now.
02:23:12.000 Jesus, how many pictures of his hog does he have out there?
02:23:14.000 I don't know, but it said something hilarious.
02:23:16.000 He goes, Jesus Christ, is that real?
02:23:18.000 Yeah, that would be real.
02:23:19.000 Well, listen, if I had a dick that big, I'd let everybody know too.
02:23:22.000 I mean, he's grabbing his dick.
02:23:23.000 Bro, that dick is pretty preposterous.
02:23:26.000 Yeah.
02:23:26.000 That's preposterous.
02:23:27.000 Yeah.
02:23:28.000 So there you go.
02:23:29.000 That's his dick.
02:23:29.000 What in the hell?
02:23:30.000 That's the hashtags for it and shit, too.
02:23:31.000 Yeah.
02:23:32.000 Crazy.
02:23:33.000 Like, something about...
02:23:34.000 It was really funny, though.
02:23:35.000 He said something about Halloween.
02:23:36.000 Just be afraid of this dick.
02:23:40.000 Don't worry about ghosts.
02:23:42.000 Some shit.
02:23:42.000 Be afraid of this dick.
02:23:44.000 Is that what it says?
02:23:45.000 Yes.
02:23:45.000 I feel like we might have read it.
02:23:47.000 Yes, we have.
02:23:48.000 Get Dick and Chill.
02:23:49.000 Now I remember.
02:23:50.000 That's right.
02:23:51.000 Now I remember.
02:23:52.000 Either way, congratulations to him.
02:23:53.000 But that one almost doesn't even look real.
02:23:55.000 Oh, that would be real.
02:23:56.000 But that's like a 15-inch dick.
02:23:58.000 He's 6'4", too, yeah.
02:23:59.000 Right, but how big is that dick?
02:24:01.000 Big enough.
02:24:01.000 But that's about 15 inches, right?
02:24:03.000 And thick around like a baby's arm.
02:24:05.000 Time to break the internet again.
02:24:07.000 That's a two-year-old's arm.
02:24:09.000 Does he pay your bills?
02:24:10.000 Hashtag it ain't trickin'.
02:24:12.000 Hashtag real ninja shit.
02:24:14.000 Does he take care of your kids?
02:24:16.000 Does he lick it from the front to the back?
02:24:19.000 Has he slid under that pussy like Mecca, Nick, and tuned it up with his tongue?
02:24:25.000 Run her baths until the water is warm as a Miami morning in the spring.
02:24:29.000 Okay.
02:24:30.000 Four women.
02:24:30.000 He's high.
02:24:31.000 Now handle your business.
02:24:32.000 He's high with a giant dick.
02:24:34.000 He's hilarious.
02:24:35.000 Fucking funny to me.
02:24:37.000 I gotta get his phone number and hang out with him.
02:24:39.000 Hey, let me buy you a drink, dicks.
02:24:41.000 He'll probably show you his dick, too.
02:24:42.000 No.
02:24:42.000 Just to make you feel bad.
02:24:43.000 Hey, Brian.
02:24:44.000 Before you go.
02:24:46.000 That's okay.
02:24:47.000 I always say that to guys.
02:24:48.000 There are dudes.
02:24:48.000 The problem with giant dudes who do jiu-jitsu and stuff is they can fuck you.
02:24:54.000 Let's beat you up.
02:24:55.000 Could Brendan beat me up?
02:24:56.000 And then what if they're fucking you with a dick that's tattooed like an anaconda?
02:25:00.000 That's what I'm getting at.
02:25:01.000 Does anybody have that?
02:25:02.000 Let's take a look.
02:25:03.000 Surely there's gotta be a guy who's tattooed his dick like an anaconda.
02:25:06.000 Of course.
02:25:08.000 100%.
02:25:08.000 But I'm shocked.
02:25:10.000 That I haven't seen this.
02:25:12.000 I'm outraged.
02:25:12.000 This seems like something that I would have heard a long time...
02:25:15.000 If I can think of it in 2019, surely it's been done.
02:25:18.000 Of course.
02:25:18.000 Hundreds and hundreds of times.
02:25:20.000 Yes.
02:25:20.000 There's no way, right?
02:25:21.000 There's a Vice article about everything you wanted to know about penis tattoos, and it talks about a guy's 14 stripes to make it look like a snake.
02:25:29.000 That's cool.
02:25:30.000 Let me see.
02:25:31.000 It doesn't have a picture on the article.
02:25:32.000 This is how I go to see dicks.
02:25:35.000 It's for science.
02:25:35.000 Let me see it.
02:25:36.000 Let me just see it.
02:25:37.000 I don't care really about dicks, but I just want to make sure this is true and you're not lying.
02:25:41.000 Yeah, I will bring up this and hit images.
02:25:43.000 Okay, there you go.
02:25:44.000 Hit it.
02:25:44.000 Bam.
02:25:44.000 Whatever you want to see there.
02:25:46.000 Those are just tattoos of dicks.
02:25:47.000 Here's the problem.
02:25:48.000 Oh, that's the dragon, the far right.
02:25:49.000 Look at that one.
02:25:50.000 Here's the problem.
02:25:50.000 See that far right dragon?
02:25:51.000 Yes.
02:25:52.000 That I've seen before.
02:25:53.000 This is people negotiating the problem of individuality with accoutrement.
02:25:58.000 Is that what it is?
02:25:59.000 Yes.
02:25:59.000 Or they just like dragons.
02:26:01.000 It's just like...
02:26:01.000 And they wish their dick was a dragon.
02:26:02.000 That's possible, too.
02:26:04.000 That's a girl, bro.
02:26:05.000 You don't even know the difference between a boy and a girl.
02:26:07.000 What the fuck?
02:26:08.000 What's that one in the middle?
02:26:09.000 What's that one in the middle there?
02:26:10.000 On the right-hand side in the middle?
02:26:12.000 That right there.
02:26:13.000 Bang.
02:26:13.000 What's happening there?
02:26:14.000 Oh, well, that's an issue, huh?
02:26:15.000 Plus, he's got a bolt.
02:26:17.000 That's the same guy, man.
02:26:18.000 He just got more worked on the thighs.
02:26:19.000 Right in the fucking head, huh?
02:26:21.000 You just nailed your dick down.
02:26:23.000 Yeah, why does he have a bolt through the head of his kick?
02:26:25.000 What the fuck is going on?
02:26:25.000 What is that guy doing there?
02:26:26.000 He's rolling his dick like dough.
02:26:28.000 Yeah, he's got his dick in a rolling pin.
02:26:30.000 That's how they tattoo it?
02:26:30.000 Oh, just stop.
02:26:32.000 I'm done.
02:26:33.000 Oh, that's how they do it.
02:26:35.000 They have to flatten it out with a rolling pin.
02:26:37.000 What the fuck, man?
02:26:38.000 I'll do it for attention.
02:26:39.000 What should I get on my dick?
02:26:40.000 If you had to get a tattoo on your dick, you have ten seconds.
02:26:43.000 Ten.
02:26:43.000 Hello, kitty.
02:26:50.000 That's very good.
02:26:51.000 How about girls that go down there and go, what the fuck?
02:26:55.000 Imagine, hey, honey, I got a new thing.
02:26:58.000 Yep.
02:26:58.000 Pull your dick out, your wife sees Hello Kitty on your cock.
02:27:01.000 You're like, what?
02:27:03.000 What?
02:27:05.000 That's funny.
02:27:06.000 Would you get like a little star under your cheek?
02:27:10.000 Yeah.
02:27:10.000 A little tiny one?
02:27:11.000 A little tiny star?
02:27:12.000 I want a teardrop, but I've got to kill somebody in jail first.
02:27:14.000 You've got to kill somebody to get a teardrop, though.
02:27:16.000 A star, you just have to be cool.
02:27:17.000 A little star?
02:27:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:27:18.000 Just like, you know, you think different.
02:27:20.000 At 52?
02:27:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:27:21.000 Why not?
02:27:22.000 Goddamn.
02:27:23.000 Just to change things up?
02:27:24.000 Well, Stallone, I think, got sleeved.
02:27:26.000 He got half-sleeved when he was in his 60s.
02:27:28.000 Sure did.
02:27:28.000 Yeah.
02:27:29.000 Just decided...
02:27:29.000 He's my canary in the coal mine.
02:27:30.000 Like, yeah!
02:27:31.000 That's my canary in the coal mine!
02:27:33.000 You just can't steal him!
02:27:35.000 No!
02:27:36.000 You can't steal him.
02:27:37.000 Yeah, he got full shoulders, chest, all that shit done.
02:27:42.000 Look at that.
02:27:44.000 That's impressive.
02:27:45.000 Jacked.
02:27:46.000 Get a picture of him.
02:27:47.000 That's it.
02:27:48.000 That's from that movie.
02:27:49.000 That picture, go back.
02:27:50.000 Go back to the one you just had.
02:27:52.000 Did it do that to you?
02:27:53.000 That one.
02:27:54.000 That's when he was doing that movie.
02:27:56.000 Bulletin Head.
02:27:57.000 Yeah, he got super lean, man.
02:27:59.000 Yeah, man.
02:28:00.000 He got down to like, it looks like he's like 170 pounds or something like that.
02:28:03.000 Yeah, a disciplined dude.
02:28:04.000 Yeah, ridiculously disciplined.
02:28:06.000 And 150 years old.
02:28:08.000 And still doing action movies.
02:28:10.000 Still fucking people up.
02:28:11.000 And you're like, oh, I'm buying it.
02:28:12.000 I'm buying it.
02:28:13.000 And the Expendables, he's throwing people against the walls like, I'm buying it.
02:28:18.000 Yup!
02:28:19.000 He's got big hands, big bones.
02:28:20.000 He's a big guy!
02:28:21.000 He's got Joe Rogan hands.
02:28:22.000 You have thick.
02:28:23.000 He's Italian!
02:28:24.000 Just like me!
02:28:27.000 Why is your last name Rogan, though?
02:28:28.000 You have just a little Irish.
02:28:29.000 Because my grandfather on my father's side is half Irish.
02:28:32.000 Well, he was Irish.
02:28:33.000 My father's half Irish.
02:28:35.000 So my father's mom was a full Italian, and his dad was full Irish.
02:28:41.000 So you're a quarter Irish.
02:28:42.000 I'm half Irish, half Italian.
02:28:44.000 He's getting his back done here!
02:28:45.000 Look at this.
02:28:47.000 Look at the shape that motherfucker's in.
02:28:49.000 Come on.
02:28:49.000 He's in great shape.
02:28:50.000 Plus, he might be holding his stomach in right there for the picture.
02:28:52.000 But the guy behind him that's tattooing him has got...
02:28:55.000 Does he have some...
02:28:56.000 That's Mickey Rourke.
02:28:57.000 Oh, that's that movie.
02:28:59.000 Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man?
02:29:00.000 Is that what that is?
02:29:01.000 No, no, no.
02:29:01.000 That's an old movie.
02:29:02.000 What movie is this from?
02:29:03.000 This is some new movie.
02:29:04.000 Oh, there's another movie?
02:29:05.000 It could be Expendables scene or something.
02:29:07.000 Mickey Rourke is an eccentric character.
02:29:09.000 I think it is.
02:29:09.000 He's the kind of guy that would come over your house with like a full Indian jacket on with like the tassels.
02:29:14.000 He's my favorite actor of all time.
02:29:16.000 And like he would have buckskin pants on and like legit cowboy boots and you couldn't say nothing.
02:29:22.000 Nothing.
02:29:22.000 And a big turquoise belt buckle and no shirt.
02:29:24.000 Yeah.
02:29:25.000 No shirt.
02:29:25.000 When he was younger, my favorite actor of all time.
02:29:27.000 I fucking love him.
02:29:28.000 What are those ties called?
02:29:29.000 Is this just a string?
02:29:30.000 Yeah, the Western ties.
02:29:32.000 Yeah, you know what I'm talking about?
02:29:32.000 What is that fucking thing?
02:29:33.000 Yeah.
02:29:34.000 That's a fake tie.
02:29:35.000 That's what that is.
02:29:35.000 That's whatever he wants.
02:29:37.000 That's not a tie.
02:29:37.000 And carry around two small dogs in his hands.
02:29:39.000 Oh, yeah.
02:29:40.000 Yeah.
02:29:40.000 And maybe a gun.
02:29:41.000 Maybe a gun.
02:29:42.000 Maybe a bow around his neck.
02:29:43.000 Whatever the fuck he wants.
02:29:44.000 Yeah.
02:29:44.000 Yeah, maybe he walks through your house with a knife in his teeth.
02:29:46.000 Yeah.
02:29:47.000 You're like, what's going on with Mickey?
02:29:48.000 Shh.
02:29:49.000 Just Mickey.
02:29:49.000 Leave him.
02:29:50.000 That's just Mickey.
02:29:51.000 Just leave him alone.
02:29:52.000 Just leave him.
02:29:52.000 That's regular Mickey.
02:29:54.000 Yeah.
02:29:54.000 The world of actors, my friend.
02:29:56.000 They are out there.
02:29:57.000 He was abused by his stepdad really badly.
02:29:59.000 Oh, was he?
02:29:59.000 Yeah.
02:30:00.000 A great interview with Alec Baldwin on Baldwin's podcast called Here's the Thing.
02:30:06.000 It was very heartbreaking.
02:30:08.000 Very heartbreaking.
02:30:09.000 He was abused by his...
02:30:12.000 His stepfather was a cop and a brutal son of a bitch and really abused those two boys.
02:30:18.000 His brother, Mickey's brother, died in his arms.
02:30:21.000 A drug addict because of his father.
02:30:23.000 He blamed his stepfather.
02:30:26.000 Then he saw his father he'd never seen.
02:30:29.000 He's so heartbreaking to tell the story.
02:30:30.000 He saw his father in New York.
02:30:32.000 Father's coming out of a bar.
02:30:33.000 His father goes, and Mickey was standing there, and he goes, I'm your son.
02:30:36.000 His father goes, I thought I'd run into you one day.
02:30:39.000 And then his father died a week later of alcoholism.
02:30:42.000 Oof.
02:30:43.000 Yeah.
02:30:43.000 So you ran into him as a grown man?
02:30:46.000 Yeah.
02:30:46.000 Oof.
02:30:47.000 He tells you everything about someone, you know?
02:30:49.000 Your heart's broken at a young age.
02:30:51.000 Well, almost everyone that's fucked up in this life is fucked up because of something that someone did to them, whether it's a relative or abuse that they suffered or, you know...
02:31:06.000 Things throughout their life that have gone horribly wrong, especially for children.
02:31:12.000 I mean, that's the most formative time of your life, right?
02:31:15.000 When you meet people that were abused as children, everyone universally feels for them.
02:31:20.000 You're like, oh no.
02:31:21.000 When you have children, especially.
02:31:23.000 Oh, for sure.
02:31:23.000 You realize what a catastrophe and an impossible thing to deal with.
02:31:29.000 That's so terrible.
02:31:31.000 To me, it's the special evil, you know?
02:31:33.000 It is.
02:31:35.000 Abusing children.
02:31:36.000 I mean, you're ruining not just a moment, but the full potential of a child's life.
02:31:41.000 They're never going to escape the fact that that was done to them.
02:31:43.000 That someone used them.
02:31:45.000 This child psychologist, she was talking to her and I said, give me some advice with my children.
02:31:50.000 You know what she said to me?
02:31:51.000 She goes, just don't leave.
02:31:53.000 Just be in their life.
02:31:55.000 That's big.
02:31:56.000 And I was like...
02:31:56.000 That's true, right?
02:31:58.000 Because when your dad's not there, your mom's not there, someone's not there, there's this feeling of displacement.
02:32:04.000 Everything's wrong.
02:32:05.000 The world is...
02:32:05.000 And then on top of that, when these kids get abused, it's like, oh my god, you've compounded horror on top of sadness and loneliness.
02:32:13.000 Horror on top of it, yeah.
02:32:15.000 And it's also, this is the really fucked up thing, is it repeats itself.
02:32:19.000 Like, they say that people that are molested when they're children are much more likely to molest children, which is like insane.
02:32:26.000 It's like the thing that happened to you, the abuse that happened to you, it's almost like you want to put it on someone else.
02:32:30.000 The fact that so many kids grew up in single-parent households in this country is the problem.
02:32:35.000 That's the problem.
02:32:36.000 That's a giant problem.
02:32:36.000 You can talk about racism.
02:32:38.000 You can talk about anybody else.
02:32:38.000 You grew up without a father.
02:32:40.000 You grew up in a single-parent household.
02:32:43.000 That's abuse.
02:32:45.000 And men who have children and walk out on those kids, those are the people I have no time for.
02:32:51.000 I hate them.
02:32:52.000 I don't give a fuck what your excuse is.
02:32:54.000 I would make it a law.
02:32:55.000 I would make it very uncomfortable for you.
02:32:57.000 But that's just one kind of abuse.
02:33:00.000 There's also abuse by your actual biological parents.
02:33:02.000 There's abuse by other biological relatives.
02:33:05.000 There's abuse by stepfathers.
02:33:08.000 Yeah, abuse by brothers and sisters.
02:33:10.000 There's abuse by neighbors.
02:33:12.000 There's abuse, man.
02:33:13.000 But it all boils down to the same thing.
02:33:15.000 It's like what happens during your developmental period when you're a really young person to becoming an adult.
02:33:20.000 And if someone's abusing you and fucking you over...
02:33:24.000 That just ruins most people's lives.
02:33:27.000 Most people don't bounce back from that.
02:33:29.000 And then you get caught up in this spiral of this cycle of crime and violence and prison and abuse and you're done.
02:33:38.000 You're done.
02:33:40.000 I wonder how long it's going to take before the human race eradicates that.
02:33:44.000 Because I think if you look at Pinker's work and some other people studied violence and abuse and all the various things that we...
02:33:53.000 Love least about civilization.
02:33:55.000 Those markers are going down sort of across the board, whether it's violent crime or rape.
02:34:00.000 Those markers are slowly going down.
02:34:02.000 Like, how long does it take before there's none of that anymore?
02:34:05.000 Part of it's, they say, what crippled the mafia was just the fact there are cameras everywhere.
02:34:09.000 You can't just drop bodies all the time because you don't know.
02:34:14.000 Everybody's got a fucking ring.
02:34:16.000 The cops just go, can we take a look at your ring footage?
02:34:19.000 And you've got to make a getaway somewhere.
02:34:22.000 You're always on camera.
02:34:23.000 You're always on camera.
02:34:25.000 And they can do this.
02:34:26.000 They can just follow the dots.
02:34:27.000 Well, Snowden just posted something that I retweeted it.
02:34:32.000 See if you can find that, Jamie.
02:34:33.000 About China and the citizens are sort of revolting against this constant surveillance state that's overtaken China.
02:34:40.000 And you're saying, over the next 10 years, this is what's going to be America's.
02:34:45.000 Absent sweeping reform, this is the whole world in 10 years.
02:34:48.000 Remember, both parties in the U.S. defend mass surveillance programs.
02:34:51.000 China's advantage here is not technological, but that there's no strong civil opposition to slow the descent into nightmare.
02:34:59.000 So China is not able to slow it.
02:35:04.000 They're just slowly descending into the surveillance state.
02:35:07.000 That's why not trusting your fucking leaders is very important.
02:35:11.000 We were lied to in Afghanistan for 18 years by senior US officials.
02:35:15.000 The authorities can scan your phone, track your face, and find out when you leave your home.
02:35:20.000 One of the world's biggest spying networks is aimed at regular people and no one can stop it.
02:35:25.000 And this is in China.
02:35:26.000 Yeah, all in the name of security.
02:35:27.000 There's never been a regime, a government, that didn't use that as an excuse.
02:35:32.000 So the Nazis, Hitler, when he became chancellor, took away all civil liberties because in the name of protecting the fatherland from essentially terrorism because a communist lit the Reichstag on fire.
02:35:51.000 Well, what's interesting is how long is it going to take before some version of this makes it over here?
02:35:56.000 Because it seems inevitable.
02:35:57.000 It's coming, but you have to fight it tooth and fucking nail.
02:36:02.000 Americans should always be distrustful of their authority figures.
02:36:08.000 I don't give a fuck how much you like Trump or anybody else.
02:36:11.000 You should hold your leaders accountable and you should always have a healthy distrust.
02:36:16.000 We were lied to for 18 years about how the war was going in Afghanistan.
02:36:20.000 We spent over a trillion dollars on that fucking war over the past...
02:36:24.000 How long has it been?
02:36:25.000 Since 2003?
02:36:26.000 Good.
02:36:27.000 And we were trying to turn it into a modern nation.
02:36:30.000 Senior U.S. officials, whether intelligence, military, and everybody else, they knew this was an unwinnable war.
02:36:36.000 I know too many people who spent...
02:36:38.000 Ten years over there.
02:36:39.000 They all knew it too.
02:36:41.000 And somehow that just never made it out.
02:36:43.000 And every general kept saying, we're at a turning point in the war where we're going to defeat the Taliban.
02:36:47.000 No, you weren't.
02:36:48.000 And you know the difference.
02:36:49.000 And you knew that at the time.
02:36:50.000 And I understand that there's a lot of pressure and everything else, but we spent all that money for fucking what?
02:36:55.000 And a lot of Americans got injured and fucking killed for it.
02:36:58.000 And we were lied to.
02:36:59.000 I know, but this is what's interesting about what you're saying.
02:37:01.000 This is the argument for something like this in the first place.
02:37:03.000 If you had this, if you had mass surveillance everywhere, people wouldn't be able to plan terrorist attacks.
02:37:09.000 Oh, fuck that.
02:37:10.000 We always use that as an excuse.
02:37:12.000 I know, but that's how they would implement something like that.
02:37:15.000 If they could get something like that implemented in Afghanistan and put a giant kibosh on the amount of terrorist activities.
02:37:21.000 Yeah, right.
02:37:22.000 Good luck.
02:37:22.000 I know.
02:37:23.000 I would say good luck, too.
02:37:24.000 Study history to see how that turns out.
02:37:26.000 That's why studying history isn't.
02:37:27.000 See, the thing is, this kind of tool has never existed.
02:37:29.000 Like, you could study history all day long, but it's only going to prepare you sort of peripherally.
02:37:35.000 It's not really going to prepare you for what technology can do today.
02:37:39.000 There's nothing in history that can really tell you where this goes.
02:37:42.000 I agree with you, but politicians use the same exact language they've been using forever, which is we have to protect the public from these insurgents, this danger.
02:37:51.000 Here's the solution to that.
02:37:54.000 Eventually, there's no more government.
02:37:56.000 Here's the solution to that.
02:37:58.000 What this is doing, it's making it almost impossible to be a traditional...
02:38:04.000 To have a traditional government, right?
02:38:06.000 Because if this stuff starts making it into their, then we can find out what they're doing all the time.
02:38:11.000 So what if it turns out, well, we'll let you mass surveillance on that, but we want 24-7 access to anyone who is any sort of representative.
02:38:21.000 Anyone who's a congressman, anyone who's a senator, anyone who's a president.
02:38:24.000 We want 24-7 access to everything you say and do.
02:38:28.000 We want to know.
02:38:29.000 We want to know who you are.
02:38:30.000 No more backs...
02:38:31.000 My problem with that is that then you wouldn't have the best people getting in the government.
02:38:36.000 You don't have the best people now.
02:38:37.000 That's true.
02:38:38.000 It's gone.
02:38:38.000 It's over.
02:38:39.000 You're already dealing with that as a politician and stuff.
02:38:41.000 I don't know if that's the answer.
02:38:43.000 I'm not saying it's the answer, Brian Callen.
02:38:45.000 I'm just saying, imagine.
02:38:46.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.
02:38:47.000 I'm not saying it's a good idea.
02:38:48.000 It's a terrible idea.
02:38:49.000 But imagine if this is what the world becomes.
02:38:52.000 Everyone has access to everyone's life.
02:38:53.000 See, the way I believe it is if you want to learn about somebody as a government agency, you got major firewalls and you need warrants and make it fucking difficult.
02:39:03.000 Right, but the reason why a country like the United States goes to war with a country like Afghanistan or ISIS is because you have leaders and groups.
02:39:15.000 Once there's no leaders and once there's no groups and everybody can see everything that everybody's doing, then you have no more need for government.
02:39:23.000 But all societies are...
02:39:25.000 You have management of resources.
02:39:27.000 No, but you also have to have...
02:39:30.000 Somebody in a society has to have the monopoly on violence.
02:39:34.000 You understand what I'm saying?
02:39:35.000 Or all the resources get distributed evenly.
02:39:40.000 All natural resources.
02:39:41.000 You fucking communist.
02:39:43.000 All natural resources on earth.
02:39:46.000 Are owned by the human beings that inhabit the earth, not the human beings that live on that one particular spot.
02:39:52.000 So all the Saudi trillionaires and all those dudes who are making fracking money, that's our money, bitch.
02:39:59.000 It's our earth.
02:40:00.000 You're stealing the fucking essence of the earth and selling it back to the people?
02:40:04.000 How dare you?
02:40:05.000 Karl Marx right here, man.
02:40:06.000 No.
02:40:07.000 This is the problem, Jamie.
02:40:08.000 Imagine if just that, but all the other things you could sell.
02:40:11.000 You could sell cars, you could sell this, you could sell that, you could make buildings.
02:40:14.000 I'm not stopping capitalism.
02:40:15.000 What I'm saying is all natural resources, all of them, belong to the conquerors of the earth, which is us, the human beings.
02:40:23.000 You just solved a lot of problems right now.
02:40:25.000 All of it.
02:40:25.000 So no trillionaire oil barons, no dependence on fossil fuels, because yeah, fossil fuels are great, but if no one in particular is profiting entirely off fossil fuels, because the money has to be distributed evenly to everyone.
02:40:40.000 The same with solar.
02:40:42.000 Same with anything.
02:40:42.000 Anything that's a resource.
02:40:43.000 Any natural resources.
02:40:45.000 But you need the technology to harness that stuff.
02:40:49.000 You can sell that.
02:40:50.000 You can sell that.
02:40:50.000 But what you can't sell is oil.
02:40:53.000 Well, oil sold on the open market.
02:40:56.000 Not anymore.
02:40:56.000 Not when I'm president.
02:40:57.000 What the fuck, dude?
02:40:58.000 Oil's everybody's.
02:40:59.000 Are you going to run?
02:41:00.000 We're stealing it.
02:41:01.000 We'll nuke the world.
02:41:02.000 If they don't give us the oil, just listen.
02:41:04.000 Let's start fresh with amoebas.
02:41:08.000 This is not going well.
02:41:09.000 Dude, let me be your vice president.
02:41:11.000 You run.
02:41:12.000 I like it.
02:41:12.000 You run.
02:41:13.000 Okay.
02:41:14.000 And then what's our platform?
02:41:15.000 What's our slogan?
02:41:15.000 How do we fix the tuna in the sea?
02:41:17.000 What's our slogan?
02:41:18.000 How do we grow more tuna?
02:41:20.000 Lead-free tuna, you fucks!
02:41:21.000 Yeah, no more...
02:41:24.000 No more dinner theater.
02:41:25.000 Everybody that works in dinner theater now makes tuna.
02:41:28.000 You work in a tuna plant where you make tunas fuck each other so we have more tuna because we're running out of tuna.
02:41:35.000 You force a breeding program?
02:41:36.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:41:37.000 And you're going to have to filter the ocean.
02:41:39.000 You're a terrible president.
02:41:40.000 No, a great president.
02:41:41.000 We fucked up the ocean.
02:41:43.000 There's all this heavy metals and poison in there.
02:41:45.000 We need a filter for the ocean.
02:41:46.000 Sort of like the filter that you have at your house.
02:41:48.000 Yeah.
02:41:48.000 The filter's the tap water.
02:41:49.000 Yeah.
02:41:49.000 Right?
02:41:50.000 Yeah.
02:41:50.000 We need one of those for the ocean.
02:41:51.000 Jesus.
02:41:51.000 Problem solved.
02:41:52.000 It's going to be expensive as shit, dude.
02:41:53.000 Not really.
02:41:54.000 All right.
02:41:54.000 Not when you get rid of music, dinner theater, all musicals.
02:41:58.000 Oh, you use the money.
02:41:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:41:59.000 I got you.
02:42:00.000 And make those people go to work in a real job.
02:42:02.000 Damn.
02:42:02.000 Yeah, all those people that think that musicals are what people want to see.
02:42:05.000 Fuck you.
02:42:06.000 Really?
02:42:06.000 Fuck you.
02:42:07.000 But I like musicals.
02:42:08.000 Oh, you son of a bitch!
02:42:11.000 Remember that time we got really, really, really, really, really high, and we went to see one of your professors, one of your acting professors sing musicals?
02:42:21.000 Yes, I do.
02:42:22.000 That was a wonderful night.
02:42:24.000 I love that kind of stuff.
02:42:26.000 We were so high, I couldn't walk fast.
02:42:28.000 No, me neither.
02:42:30.000 I knew I knew how to walk, but I wasn't totally sure I could keep doing it.
02:42:34.000 I never smoke weed, but when I do with you, it's like I got high one time.
02:42:38.000 I was with Patty Jenkins.
02:42:39.000 We were in fucking Atlantic City and we'd been swimming and I smoked weed and I was not a weed smoker.
02:42:47.000 You swam in the water?
02:42:49.000 The ocean of Atlanta City?
02:42:50.000 Yeah, fuck yeah, at night.
02:42:51.000 Dude, you're dangerous.
02:42:52.000 Huge waves.
02:42:53.000 We lost the car keys and we're looking everywhere, dude.
02:42:56.000 Everywhere.
02:42:57.000 And two hours later, I sit down on the curb.
02:42:59.000 I'm just tired.
02:43:00.000 It's just too much.
02:43:02.000 Patty looks at me and she goes, Brian?
02:43:05.000 Yeah, she goes, Open your hand, please.
02:43:15.000 And it's in your hand?
02:43:16.000 Of course it was.
02:43:19.000 I've had my sunglasses on top of my hat and looked for them for ten minutes before.
02:43:24.000 I was looking for my phone the other day.
02:43:26.000 I'm with my son, and I'm looking for my phone, and I'm like, where the fuck is my phone?
02:43:30.000 Where the fuck is it?
02:43:32.000 He's next to me on my phone playing a game.
02:43:36.000 Oh.
02:43:36.000 Right next to me.
02:43:37.000 Snatch your phone up.
02:43:38.000 Yeah.
02:43:39.000 Those kids love those goddamn phone games.
02:43:40.000 No, I'm the one who downloaded the game for them.
02:43:41.000 Oh, you forgot?
02:43:42.000 Yeah.
02:43:43.000 You're getting old.
02:43:43.000 Yeah.
02:43:44.000 He was playing a sniper game, and I said, you're not allowed to play that shit at all.
02:43:48.000 And then I saw how cool it was, and I ended up playing it.
02:43:50.000 Whoa.
02:43:51.000 Do you try to keep him from violent games?
02:43:53.000 I do, but it's like telling a tree not to blow in the wind.
02:43:56.000 It's interesting.
02:43:57.000 Dakota Meyer, who's a decorated veteran.
02:44:01.000 Oh, Medal of Honor winner, right?
02:44:03.000 Yes.
02:44:03.000 One of the very few to ever win it while alive.
02:44:07.000 He thinks that violent video games desensitize people.
02:44:12.000 Now, when someone like that, who's open with his struggles with PTSD, he killed a man with a rock.
02:44:18.000 Tell me the story about he was in a fist fight with a guy in war with the enemy and picked up a rock and beat his brains in.
02:44:27.000 Jesus.
02:44:27.000 If this guy is telling you that video games can desensitize you, I'm going to listen.
02:44:33.000 Yeah, I am too.
02:44:34.000 I'm going to listen to him.
02:44:35.000 I am too.
02:44:36.000 I can believe that.
02:44:38.000 Yeah.
02:44:39.000 You certainly get very good at these kids who have the guns.
02:44:41.000 But it also, for some people that don't have any tendency towards violence, like you or me or Jamie or anybody else that we know that's fine and healthy, they're not going to make you more likely to go shoot people.
02:44:51.000 And that's a fact.
02:44:52.000 Yeah.
02:44:53.000 That's the thing.
02:44:54.000 It's like, are you saying that you playing Red Dead Redemption is going to make you want to go out and fucking shoot people?
02:45:00.000 No, it's not going to.
02:45:01.000 It's not going to have any effect on you at all.
02:45:03.000 But will it have an effect on minors?
02:45:06.000 I think there are a couple things going on.
02:45:07.000 One is I think they're addictive.
02:45:09.000 Oh, yeah.
02:45:10.000 And I've seen that with my own eyes with my children.
02:45:11.000 They're addictive.
02:45:12.000 And when you take the game away, they exhibit withdrawal.
02:45:16.000 They freak the fuck out.
02:45:18.000 Come on, Dad!
02:45:19.000 Yeah.
02:45:19.000 One more game!
02:45:20.000 Yeah.
02:45:21.000 Jesus, Dad.
02:45:21.000 They get crazy.
02:45:22.000 They stomp the ground.
02:45:23.000 Fuck, fuck, fuck.
02:45:23.000 I know.
02:45:24.000 And then also, I think when you play video games, you can get so addicted that you will isolate.
02:45:30.000 And you'll play those games all day.
02:45:32.000 Oh, there's a lot of kids doing that.
02:45:34.000 Yeah, what's that due to your social interaction?
02:45:36.000 What's that due to your body?
02:45:37.000 Should you be doing a sport?
02:45:39.000 What's that due to you later on?
02:45:40.000 Can you get a girl when you've been sitting in front of...
02:45:43.000 There are lots of things that we don't know.
02:45:44.000 Do they lend...
02:45:46.000 Do video games, when you play them on that level, do they retard your social skills?
02:45:53.000 I mean, there's a lot of considerations.
02:45:55.000 Well, I'm also in favor of you doing anything you want.
02:45:59.000 There's some people that would make the same argument about someone who's addicted to reading.
02:46:03.000 Sure.
02:46:03.000 There's a lot of people that are in their head just reading novels.
02:46:07.000 But those arguments were used before video games.
02:46:10.000 You just don't hear it anymore because you just hear the more accelerated version.
02:46:14.000 What it is is basically an engaging human creation.
02:46:17.000 An engaging human creation that's designed to captivate your attention, whether it's a novel or a film or anything.
02:46:23.000 Yeah.
02:46:23.000 Things are designed, that's what art is in a lot of ways.
02:46:26.000 You go to an art gallery and you stare at someone's work, it's like some human creation that captivates your attention and gets you locked in.
02:46:33.000 And when you see a really beautiful piece, like we were in Italy and we were in Florence and we went to this ancient church and they had these beautiful works of art on the wall.
02:46:44.000 You know, just fascinating, fascinating stuff.
02:46:46.000 And you try to picture, like, the people that painted this a thousand years ago and what life was like.
02:46:51.000 And you're looking at the intricacies of these dresses.
02:46:54.000 Like, that's an engaging human creation that captivates your attention.
02:46:57.000 We just, we have merit in that kind of engaging, captivated piece of art.
02:47:03.000 We have put merit in that.
02:47:04.000 But we don't put merit in video games for some reason.
02:47:06.000 It's almost like it's too engaging.
02:47:08.000 It's too much.
02:47:09.000 It's too captivating.
02:47:10.000 That's an interesting question.
02:47:11.000 Why not, you know?
02:47:13.000 Because we know it's detrimental.
02:47:14.000 We inherently know that you're going to waste giant chunks of your life.
02:47:18.000 Unless you're someone who, like, got a trust fund, you never have to work again, you got fucking $10 million in the bank, and you can just chill forever, and you want to play video games all day, I'm like, alright, look, if you, I mean, I don't know what to tell you.
02:47:29.000 You don't have to work.
02:47:30.000 Yeah, but what is it, something like Picasso's Warenka, or, you know, that painting of when Spain was bombed by the Luftwaffe before World War II, and Bring that up, because it's kind of a haunting painting, but why is that still something that's considered a masterpiece?
02:47:46.000 And then, like you said, there's incredible imagery in what we can do with an iPad.
02:47:52.000 Well, it's all the same thing in some way.
02:47:55.000 It's a human creation.
02:47:56.000 But the thing about these digital human creations is they have this alien...
02:48:01.000 Like, cold feel to them.
02:48:03.000 Like, there's something about digital things, even if they're spectacular, like, there's no emotion in this thing.
02:48:07.000 This thing is a creation.
02:48:08.000 It's a one and a zero.
02:48:10.000 It's computer.
02:48:11.000 Whereas, like, if you're just reading novels all day, like, if you're that person that just, I fucked the world, I'm gonna go in my house, I'm gonna shut the door, I'm gonna light a candle, I'm gonna sit there, and I'm gonna read novels all day.
02:48:22.000 I have $10 million in the bank that I got for my trust fund.
02:48:25.000 I just like reading.
02:48:26.000 No one would say you're a loser.
02:48:27.000 What does Brian do?
02:48:28.000 He's amazing.
02:48:29.000 He got his trust fund and then said, I want to educate myself.
02:48:32.000 I just want to read.
02:48:33.000 And he just reads all the great works.
02:48:35.000 And he sits at home all day and just reads.
02:48:36.000 It's amazing.
02:48:37.000 But that is somehow more intriguing because what you're doing is developing and expanding your understanding.
02:48:45.000 And I think when you do that, what that means is you're someone who is worth speaking to.
02:48:50.000 You might have some secrets and some understanding that I can use.
02:48:54.000 So when you talk to somebody who's really gone down that rabbit hole, like Joseph Campbell, who read all the philosophers and everybody who influenced them, you want to hear what he has to say because he's organized his brain and his thoughts in a way that might shed some light on the things that are confusing to you.
02:49:11.000 That are, you know, that are depressing or that are scaring you or whatever.
02:49:16.000 And you do need leaders like that, leaders of thought that can put things into perspective, you know, that can kind of tell you why there's a difference between, say, Picasso and this other shitty artist.
02:49:30.000 I don't know.
02:49:30.000 No, yeah, for sure.
02:49:31.000 For sure.
02:49:32.000 But you also need people that know how to play the fuck out of a video game.
02:49:36.000 The thing is those people don't get any credit.
02:49:38.000 When you see these kids today that are winning these video game tournaments and winning a million dollars and their parents have told them to not play games.
02:49:44.000 Meanwhile, the dad works at fucking IHOP. Like, hey, asshole.
02:49:47.000 These guys are making real money playing this stupid game that you told them to never play.
02:49:51.000 And they're filling like arenas.
02:49:53.000 Arenas.
02:49:54.000 It's fucking crazy.
02:49:55.000 This is where the world goes.
02:49:57.000 The world goes to the most engaging creation that human beings have that locks in other people's attention.
02:50:02.000 And the most engaging creations for young people are these goddamn video games.
02:50:07.000 They're just group efforts.
02:50:08.000 They're giant group corporate efforts.
02:50:10.000 Whether it's Grand Theft Auto or the new Doom.
02:50:15.000 When's that new Doom coming out?
02:50:17.000 But I feel like Doom...
02:50:19.000 But I do think there's a difference.
02:50:20.000 I do think that when you're really good at a video game, there is an addictive quality to it.
02:50:28.000 Yes, you're really good at doing this thing, right?
02:50:30.000 But at the end of the day, it's a game.
02:50:32.000 And that game is somewhat masturbatory.
02:50:36.000 That game, I don't know that when you really get good at Fortnite or Doom, I don't know if that game in any way expands your understanding or your ability to contribute to the larger conversation.
02:50:53.000 Okay, but does snooker?
02:50:54.000 I'm just saying.
02:50:55.000 Does snooker?
02:50:57.000 Is that the strategy game?
02:50:59.000 No.
02:51:00.000 How dare you?
02:51:01.000 What is it?
02:51:01.000 Chess.
02:51:02.000 What?
02:51:02.000 Chess.
02:51:03.000 Chess is a good one.
02:51:05.000 There's a reason why I said snooker.
02:51:07.000 The reason why I said snooker is because you're executing.
02:51:10.000 You have to keep it together and you have to physically execute a move.
02:51:14.000 It's a giant pool table.
02:51:15.000 They play it in England and they play with red balls and blue balls and pink balls and black balls.
02:51:21.000 I don't understand the game.
02:51:24.000 I've watched it a bunch.
02:51:25.000 Yeah.
02:51:25.000 But there's these people that play it, and it's less popular now.
02:51:32.000 One of the big-time guys got busted.
02:51:34.000 He got busted doing a fixed game.
02:51:37.000 Someone paid him off to lose, and he agreed to do it for a certain amount of money.
02:51:43.000 But the thing is that a game like that is well-respected because someone has to execute.
02:51:47.000 It's not just thinking.
02:51:49.000 You have to actually pull off the shot.
02:51:51.000 It's a skill.
02:51:52.000 And also, people love to watch it who play snooker.
02:51:55.000 Probably not me, but people know the difference, right?
02:51:57.000 A video game, you have to execute as well.
02:52:00.000 But it doesn't seem like you're doing it because you're not physically...
02:52:04.000 You're just moving your hands around and moving a keyboard.
02:52:07.000 It doesn't seem like it's as skillful, but it is.
02:52:11.000 Yeah, that's a really interesting question.
02:52:12.000 I don't know.
02:52:13.000 You're asking a really interesting question, right?
02:52:15.000 Because what they are doing is they're providing entertainment for people, just like a great pool player, right?
02:52:21.000 Right.
02:52:21.000 So when you watch pool, you're doing it for stakes, you're doing it for money, but you're also watching these people who have mastered this insane geometry.
02:52:29.000 Well, we respect some versions of that.
02:52:31.000 Like golf.
02:52:32.000 Yeah.
02:52:32.000 We respect golf.
02:52:33.000 Yeah.
02:52:33.000 Because we play it.
02:52:34.000 And also the money that's available.
02:52:37.000 That's why we don't respect bowling.
02:52:39.000 Yeah.
02:52:39.000 If someone's a good bowler, you're like, congrats.
02:52:41.000 You pat him on the head.
02:52:41.000 Good for you.
02:52:42.000 Good for you.
02:52:43.000 Nobody cares.
02:52:44.000 But if you're fucking one of the best...
02:52:46.000 Golf players of all time.
02:52:48.000 That golfer is going to make millions and millions of dollars a year.
02:52:51.000 That guy is a baller.
02:52:53.000 He's a golfer, and he's at the top of the food chain when it comes to...
02:52:56.000 Any of those skills require you to master yourself in many ways.
02:53:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:53:00.000 Sure.
02:53:01.000 But the thing is that the video games...
02:53:03.000 It seems like it's happening in a digital realm.
02:53:06.000 And because of that, it's not taken as seriously.
02:53:09.000 Even if you found out they made more money.
02:53:10.000 Like, when you find out someone's a successful video game player, there's a certain part of you that's like, oh, why are you wasting your time with that?
02:53:15.000 Even if you go, he makes five million dollars a year, you're like, oh, well, huh.
02:53:19.000 Good for him.
02:53:21.000 Seems weird.
02:53:24.000 It's still not good.
02:53:26.000 You know what it is for us who are older?
02:53:28.000 It's subversive.
02:53:29.000 For guys at our age, it's subversive.
02:53:33.000 We don't trust it.
02:53:34.000 We don't like it.
02:53:35.000 We don't understand it.
02:53:36.000 And it scares us a little bit.
02:53:38.000 Because it also reminds us of our own immortality.
02:53:42.000 We're also brainwashed at thinking that video games are for losers.
02:53:45.000 All of that.
02:53:45.000 So we have a stereotypical idea of what a video game player is.
02:53:50.000 All that stuff.
02:53:52.000 So for older people, I feel left out.
02:53:57.000 I don't understand it.
02:53:58.000 And I feel like they're being bad and they should listen to me.
02:54:04.000 Whereas chess is noble.
02:54:05.000 Well, chess is...
02:54:06.000 Someone playing chess, that's noble.
02:54:08.000 Yeah, you find out someone who's really good at chess, you're like, fuck, that guy's impressive.
02:54:12.000 They can think deeply and strategically.
02:54:16.000 If a girl could beat your ass at chess.
02:54:16.000 I dated a girl once, she was really good at chess.
02:54:18.000 It was humiliating.
02:54:21.000 Shut me down.
02:54:22.000 Well, jujitsu is a form of kinetic chess, probably.
02:54:25.000 Sort of.
02:54:26.000 You can make that argument.
02:54:27.000 Yeah, but force and there's mass.
02:54:29.000 There's all that, but there's also leverage.
02:54:31.000 There's also understanding when to use your energy, when not to, when to be relaxed, when to be strong.
02:54:35.000 It's more complicated even than chess.
02:54:37.000 Probably.
02:54:38.000 I don't know.
02:54:39.000 I think it's more complicated.
02:54:39.000 I'm not good at either one, but, you know.
02:54:41.000 Yeah.
02:54:41.000 Yes.
02:54:42.000 But there is an understanding of the moves, and then when someone's countering, and the understanding of the counter, and then the counter to the counter...
02:54:48.000 And this constant thing.
02:54:50.000 Hicks and Gracie, one of the things he always used to say about people is they can't keep the rhythm.
02:54:54.000 He'd be like, he would put a rhythm on people.
02:54:57.000 Attack and you counter.
02:54:58.000 Attack and you counter.
02:54:59.000 Attack and you counter.
02:55:00.000 But I know what your counter is, so I'm preparing for your counter.
02:55:02.000 He's been there before.
02:55:03.000 And he does it so often that he keeps this rhythm up until you don't know.
02:55:07.000 You can't just explode all the time.
02:55:09.000 You don't know the moves.
02:55:10.000 It was that boxer who was fighting Duran.
02:55:12.000 You hear him in the corner.
02:55:13.000 I can't remember what the fight was.
02:55:14.000 He goes, he's reading my mind.
02:55:15.000 He's reading my fucking mind.
02:55:17.000 Well, Duran knew the pattern so well that he was like, I know what he's doing here.
02:55:20.000 I know what he's going to do.
02:55:21.000 So he would cut him off and he'd be like, the guy's fucking catching me every time I try to work on our game plan.
02:55:26.000 That's what boxing is, right?
02:55:28.000 Boxing is like understanding the patterns of someone throwing a left or a right, moving their head side to side, moving forward, moving back, moving side to side.
02:55:35.000 You get these patterns.
02:55:36.000 These are the only things you can do.
02:55:37.000 You can only move back and forth, side to side.
02:55:40.000 Or you can move left to right.
02:55:42.000 Or you can throw with your left hand.
02:55:43.000 Or you can throw with your right hand.
02:55:44.000 All the variables with different kinds of punches you can throw.
02:55:47.000 But you get a guy like Terrence Crawford in front of you.
02:55:49.000 He's seen all those.
02:55:50.000 And so he starts setting you up to see, like, what are you doing?
02:55:53.000 Like, where are you doing it?
02:55:54.000 Where am I going to...
02:55:55.000 There's a beautiful combination that he used to knock out that cat the other night.
02:55:58.000 He fought some very rugged dude.
02:56:01.000 Who's the guy Crawford fought this weekend?
02:56:04.000 I want to see him fight.
02:56:05.000 I only saw the highlights of it because it was...
02:56:07.000 I guess it was on ESPN... Here it is.
02:56:10.000 I want to see him fight Earl Spence so badly.
02:56:14.000 Oh yeah, it would be phenomenal.
02:56:15.000 That's the fight.
02:56:16.000 But the end of the fight, man, he just did some beautiful, creative shit.
02:56:22.000 He's amazing, man.
02:56:23.000 He really is amazing.
02:56:24.000 Oh, took some shots.
02:56:25.000 Oh dude, for real, the guy's very good, man.
02:56:28.000 Oh.
02:56:29.000 Yeah.
02:56:30.000 He dropped him there.
02:56:32.000 Now watch the final combination.
02:56:34.000 Look at this.
02:56:34.000 Watch this step back.
02:56:35.000 Look at this.
02:56:35.000 Step back.
02:56:35.000 Bang.
02:56:36.000 How beautiful is that?
02:56:37.000 That step back and then that uppercut.
02:56:39.000 That's like recognizing patterns.
02:56:41.000 Then he stepped in and hooked him in the head and dropped him.
02:56:43.000 He changes shit up, too, all the time.
02:56:44.000 He's brilliant.
02:56:45.000 God.
02:56:46.000 Brilliant.
02:56:48.000 There's guys that hit this level, right?
02:56:50.000 When you watch boxing or any combat sport, really.
02:56:53.000 There's this guy that hit this level and you're like, oh, they're in that fucking super champion zone.
02:56:58.000 Yes.
02:56:58.000 And that's where Crawford is.
02:56:59.000 That's why he needs to fight Earl Spence.
02:57:01.000 Yes, that's where Lomachenko is.
02:57:02.000 How is Earl Spence alive and not injured?
02:57:04.000 I don't know, because he's Superman.
02:57:05.000 That video of him flipping that Ferrari and watching it fly over him and he doesn't get crushed?
02:57:10.000 No.
02:57:11.000 What are the odds that he makes it out of there without a scratch?
02:57:14.000 And thank God, because that aficionado, that work of art needs to be preserved.
02:57:19.000 You sound gay as fuck right there.
02:57:20.000 I don't care.
02:57:21.000 It's fine.
02:57:21.000 A little gay for you.
02:57:22.000 I'm all about people that are gay as fuck.
02:57:24.000 A little gay, man.
02:57:24.000 But you did sound...
02:57:25.000 Yeah, he's a beast, man.
02:57:27.000 The way he shut down Mikey Garcia, I was like, woo.
02:57:29.000 God.
02:57:30.000 He's fucking for real.
02:57:31.000 Hey, I'll tell you what.
02:57:32.000 Sean Porter gave him the what for.
02:57:35.000 Sean Porter was...
02:57:36.000 That's when you realize Sean Porter was a seven-time world champion.
02:57:39.000 I love the way you talk.
02:57:40.000 Gave him the what for.
02:57:41.000 Gave him the what for.
02:57:42.000 I love that flavor that you put.
02:57:44.000 That's what I say sometimes.
02:57:46.000 I say things like this.
02:57:46.000 I go, I'm going to keep him busy.
02:57:48.000 I'll give him the what for.
02:57:49.000 Give him the what for.
02:57:50.000 Ask me what would happen if Jamie came at me right now.
02:57:52.000 You sound like an actor.
02:57:53.000 God, ask me.
02:57:53.000 What would happen if Jamie came at you?
02:57:55.000 Meet him halfway.
02:57:56.000 Whoa!
02:57:58.000 That's scary.
02:57:59.000 Ask me what happened to Jamie.
02:57:59.000 I don't like it.
02:58:00.000 And Jamie's a big athletic guy.
02:58:02.000 What happened if Joe came at you?
02:58:05.000 Come back with what I got.
02:58:06.000 Oh, really?
02:58:07.000 See that?
02:58:08.000 Now watch this.
02:58:10.000 Jamie broke his butt bone out here on one of them scooters.
02:58:12.000 Yeah.
02:58:13.000 He was trying to figure out what his injury was forever until Zach Bitter explained how he broke his butt bone.
02:58:19.000 And Jamie's like, that's the exact same problem I've been having.
02:58:22.000 And it happened from him on the hoverboard thing.
02:58:26.000 Whoop!
02:58:27.000 Oh no.
02:58:28.000 Fell on the concrete.
02:58:29.000 Ow.
02:58:30.000 Right out here.
02:58:30.000 Broke his butt.
02:58:31.000 Yeah, well, maybe, for sure.
02:58:33.000 Undiagnosed, broken butt.
02:58:34.000 Most likely.
02:58:35.000 You broke your butt.
02:58:36.000 It's exactly the same spot, and it's where he landed.
02:58:39.000 He landed on his butt.
02:58:40.000 Hey, Jamie.
02:58:42.000 Jamie.
02:58:42.000 Yes.
02:58:43.000 Ask me if I ever killed a man.
02:58:45.000 Did you ever kill a man?
02:58:46.000 Never stopped to look, brother.
02:58:51.000 Are you in the new Mickey Rourke movie?
02:58:52.000 Dude, man, how about me as a fucking action hero?
02:58:55.000 What's my name?
02:58:56.000 Anaconda.
02:58:56.000 Blade?
02:58:57.000 No, Anaconda.
02:58:57.000 Huh?
02:58:58.000 Anaconda's good.
02:58:59.000 You're like a bag of ropes.
02:59:00.000 No, fuck, it's Anna.
02:59:01.000 Anna.
02:59:02.000 Anna.
02:59:03.000 Anna's a girl.
02:59:04.000 No, because they go, his name is Anna?
02:59:05.000 And they go, Conda, you ever roll with him?
02:59:08.000 Oh, it's like a boy named Sue?
02:59:11.000 Yes.
02:59:11.000 Like people start fights with you?
02:59:12.000 One of my favorite songs.
02:59:14.000 It's a great song, man.
02:59:15.000 The biggest thing that he ever did was he went ahead and named me Sue.
02:59:18.000 Yeah.
02:59:18.000 That's a great fucking movie.
02:59:19.000 One of the greatest songs.
02:59:21.000 That's my favorite Johnny Cash song.
02:59:23.000 Johnny Cash.
02:59:24.000 When my daddy left home when I was three, he didn't leave much for Ma and me.
02:59:27.000 Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
02:59:30.000 Wow.
02:59:31.000 That's beautiful.
02:59:32.000 Brian Count, it's almost 4 p.m.
02:59:34.000 We've done three hours of talking shit.
02:59:36.000 Time goes by, bro.
02:59:38.000 It does.
02:59:38.000 We gotta do this more often.
02:59:39.000 We always say this, but we did it.
02:59:41.000 Come see me at the Wolverine.
02:59:41.000 We made it happen.
02:59:42.000 New Year's Eve.
02:59:43.000 Wave it.
02:59:43.000 Wave it.
02:59:44.000 You're at the Wilbur Theater in Boston on New Year's Eve?
02:59:46.000 Yeah, man.
02:59:46.000 For do stand-up comedy?
02:59:48.000 Fuck yeah.
02:59:48.000 Don't you have a new hour?
02:59:49.000 I got a whole new hour.
02:59:50.000 You have a whole new hour that'll be at the Wilbur Theater in New Year's Eve.
02:59:53.000 And if you're in Arizona tomorrow, I'm in...
02:59:55.000 The Celebrity Theater?
02:59:55.000 I'm in Arizona tomorrow at the Celebrity Theater.
02:59:57.000 Oh my God.
02:59:58.000 Yeah.
02:59:58.000 Tomorrow?
02:59:59.000 Tomorrow.
03:00:00.000 With Frank Caliendo and Adam Ray.
03:00:01.000 So tomorrow you're at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, Arizona.
03:00:04.000 Yeah.
03:00:05.000 And what day is that?
03:00:06.000 That's tomorrow on Saturday.
03:00:08.000 Saturday.
03:00:08.000 What day is this coming out?
03:00:09.000 Is it coming out today?
03:00:10.000 It'll be the 21st.
03:00:11.000 The 21st.
03:00:12.000 The 21st of December.
03:00:14.000 The 31st.
03:00:15.000 I'm at Wilbur at the fucking...
03:00:16.000 Ten days later?
03:00:18.000 Get your fucking tickets!
03:00:19.000 Ten days later.
03:00:20.000 New Year's Eve 31st?
03:00:21.000 Is that what New Year's Eve is?
03:00:22.000 It's cold as fuck on New Year's Eve in Boston.
03:00:25.000 I panicked.
03:00:25.000 It was so cold my face hurt.
03:00:26.000 I had to run into a store.
03:00:28.000 It's It gets cold.
03:00:29.000 I tried to walk a half mile to coffee.
03:00:31.000 All right.
03:00:31.000 God bless you.
03:00:32.000 God bless you.
03:00:33.000 Brian Callen, ladies and gentlemen, this Saturday night.
03:00:36.000 Friday night or Saturday?
03:00:37.000 Saturday night.
03:00:37.000 Saturday night celebrity.
03:00:39.000 Tonight is Friday.
03:00:40.000 You're not going there tonight.
03:00:41.000 No, tomorrow night.
03:00:42.000 I'll be like, you're a gangster.
03:00:43.000 It's four o'clock.
03:00:44.000 Saturday night celebrity theater.
03:00:45.000 Saturday night celebrity theater.
03:00:48.000 And bye, everybody.