The Joe Rogan Experience - March 31, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1450 - Brian Redban


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 22 minutes

Words per Minute

190.87367

Word Count

38,706

Sentence Count

4,103

Misogynist Sentences

118


Summary

In this episode, the boys discuss the dangers of aluminum foil and how it can keep you warm in outer space. They also talk about Dantana's, a restaurant that has been open in LA since the 60s and is open all the time now. They also discuss the pros and cons of having a post-store dinner at Dantanas' and why it's one of the best places to eat in LA. And of course, there's a little bit of Sturgill Simpson and the Troubadour Town Town. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your stuff. Thanks for listening and Good Luck Out There. See ya next Monday! P.S. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to our other podcast, The Top 10 Podcasts on the Internet. We post polls, questions and thoughts on all of the socials and the results/comments are featured on the episodes as well. Send your voice messages to sws@whatiwatchedtonight.co.nz and we'll get them on the show. Thanks again for listening your continued support is so appreciated. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & Elyssa - The Crew - EJ and Elesa, Jamie, Tim and Elicia, Kevin and EJ, Sarah, Love, Kristian, Mike, Sarah, Evan, and Eudes, Mike & Jack, Kristian and Sarah, Jr., Thank you so much for all the love and support you all the support we've gotten so far this week's episode, thank you so far from all the work you've been so far. - Thank you for all of your support and support, Eles and all the good vibes and love, Elex and support. Cheers! - Mike and Elexis, Sarah and Elynis, Caitlyn, Sarah & Elese, Jen and Erika, Jen, and Rachel, Thank you. . and Eleri, SABY, Rachael, Jai, and Evelyn, JUICY, and Jonathon, and Jadyn, and AJ, and so much more! Love you all so much love, Jon and Jai and Jonny, too much love you all for all your support.


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Yee-haw!
00:00:03.000 How you hanging in there, fella?
00:00:05.000 Great, man.
00:00:06.000 I think these things are gonna annoy a lot of people.
00:00:10.000 If you're listening, we're wearing aluminum foil.
00:00:14.000 We're wearing spacesuits.
00:00:16.000 God, they're so crunchy.
00:00:17.000 There's not many left for me to get.
00:00:19.000 This is my favorite one.
00:00:22.000 I like the orange one for some strange reason.
00:00:25.000 The white one just seems like I'm a clean-up person.
00:00:28.000 Like you're doing some NASA clean-up, like there's alien bodies you're trying to get rid of.
00:00:32.000 But this feels like we're about to do something special.
00:00:35.000 We're protected.
00:00:36.000 Yeah.
00:00:37.000 I just hope it doesn't start making us sweat and we lose like 100 pounds.
00:00:40.000 This is the same shit that's on the outside of the lunar module.
00:00:45.000 That cheap looking aluminum foil.
00:00:48.000 Looks like it was stuck on there with gum.
00:00:50.000 Heat shield?
00:00:51.000 Yeah, the heat shield.
00:00:52.000 Whatever it is.
00:00:54.000 Whatever that fucking fake stuff is.
00:00:56.000 Or The Alien.
00:00:57.000 You ever see The Alien?
00:00:57.000 Where he had to put that big sheet that was made out of this material at the very end?
00:01:01.000 You ever see that movie?
00:01:02.000 Was it Predator or Alien?
00:01:04.000 No.
00:01:05.000 The one with Matt Damon.
00:01:07.000 And he's like lost in space.
00:01:09.000 The Martian.
00:01:10.000 The Martian.
00:01:10.000 The Martian.
00:01:10.000 Jesus.
00:01:11.000 Oh, yeah.
00:01:12.000 Well, they have these for people that get lost hiking.
00:01:16.000 Like their blankets.
00:01:17.000 They'll keep you alive.
00:01:18.000 You won't be cozy.
00:01:20.000 They'll keep you alive.
00:01:21.000 They're like these real thin aluminum foil looking blankets.
00:01:24.000 Yeah.
00:01:24.000 I guess they just retain heat pretty good.
00:01:26.000 Right.
00:01:26.000 Pretty good.
00:01:27.000 You know, like you're not getting a good night's sleep, but you might stay alive.
00:01:31.000 Yeah.
00:01:32.000 How are you holding up?
00:01:32.000 I'm alright.
00:01:33.000 Yeah?
00:01:34.000 Yeah.
00:01:34.000 You know, um...
00:01:36.000 Look, there's people that got it rough.
00:01:38.000 The people that got it rough are, number one, medical workers.
00:01:42.000 Anybody, you know, much love to anybody that's working in hospitals right now.
00:01:47.000 Doctors, nurses, everybody.
00:01:49.000 Interns, everybody.
00:01:51.000 Everybody.
00:01:51.000 People working the desk.
00:01:53.000 Goddamn, you guys have it rough.
00:01:55.000 You know, those are the people, number one.
00:01:57.000 Number two, anybody in the hospitality industry, people serving food, restaurants, bars.
00:02:06.000 Grocery store workers.
00:02:07.000 Yeah, they have it rough, but they have jobs.
00:02:09.000 You know, it's rough, but their jobs are still open.
00:02:12.000 The thing that drives me crazy is there's so many restaurants where these people, you know, employed 50, 60 people.
00:02:19.000 And, you know, restaurants are hard.
00:02:22.000 It's hard to stay open when things are great.
00:02:25.000 You know, restaurants are a fucking...
00:02:27.000 It's one of the number one businesses that fails.
00:02:32.000 Like, what is the...
00:02:32.000 See if you can find a statistic, but it's something crazy.
00:02:35.000 Like, 70% of all restaurants fail within the first year.
00:02:39.000 Because it's just...
00:02:40.000 Imagine running a restaurant.
00:02:42.000 Especially what kind?
00:02:42.000 Like, a chicken restaurant?
00:02:44.000 Everyone has chicken restaurants.
00:02:45.000 Do you remember that great restaurant that was right next to the Ice House?
00:02:48.000 We used to go there all the time.
00:02:49.000 Yeah, it's gone now.
00:02:50.000 God, it was good.
00:02:51.000 Oh, it was good.
00:02:53.000 And the place that just replaced it just closed down.
00:02:55.000 Look at this.
00:02:55.000 They have a high failure rate, but knowing why can help the prospective owners.
00:03:00.000 Around 60% of new restaurants fail within the first year, and nearly 80% shutter before their fifth anniversary.
00:03:06.000 Wow.
00:03:07.000 80% in five years.
00:03:10.000 So if you get a restaurant like Dantana's that's been open since the 60s or something.
00:03:16.000 Have you ever eaten at Dantana's, Jamie?
00:03:18.000 No, I haven't.
00:03:18.000 Have you ever eaten that?
00:03:19.000 Where's that?
00:03:19.000 You don't know where Dantana's is?
00:03:21.000 No.
00:03:21.000 Oh my god, dude.
00:03:22.000 We need to do a dinner at Dantana's.
00:03:24.000 Anytime.
00:03:24.000 A post-store dinner at Dantana's because Dantana's is open.
00:03:27.000 The kitchen's open until like midnight.
00:03:29.000 It's phenomenal.
00:03:30.000 Some of the best Italian food in all of LA. Wow.
00:03:33.000 And it's on Santa Monica Boulevard, like on the border of Boys Town.
00:03:37.000 Wow.
00:03:37.000 It's next to the Troubadour, right?
00:03:39.000 Hey!
00:03:40.000 Yeah, the Troubadour where I saw Everlast recently and Sturgill.
00:03:45.000 Sturgill Simpson played the Troubadour too.
00:03:46.000 Troubadour's dope.
00:03:47.000 I hope Everlast is doing okay with his daughter.
00:03:49.000 His daughter has, you know.
00:03:51.000 He's being real smart, staying the fuck away from everybody.
00:03:54.000 They're holed up and everybody's healthy.
00:03:56.000 Last I spoke to him.
00:03:58.000 Yeah, there it is, Dantanis.
00:03:59.000 Bro, that place is the shit.
00:04:02.000 They have phenomenal pasta.
00:04:04.000 They have excellent steaks.
00:04:06.000 It's a really good old-school restaurant.
00:04:09.000 You go in there, it looks like they haven't done shit to that place since 1970. Everything's perfect.
00:04:14.000 Like that.
00:04:15.000 That's what it looks like inside.
00:04:16.000 I have seen the place.
00:04:17.000 Oh, it's amazing.
00:04:18.000 Dude, it's so good.
00:04:19.000 It's so good.
00:04:21.000 I love that old school Italian look, you know, with the red tablecloth.
00:04:24.000 I ate there with Suzanne.
00:04:27.000 Suzanne and I went to see Sturgill.
00:04:29.000 And then afterwards we ate at Dantana.
00:04:31.000 So I was like, dude, I feel like we're real Hollywood.
00:04:34.000 Yeah.
00:04:35.000 She got holed up, you know, Suzanne from Honey Honey, she got holed up in North Carolina.
00:04:40.000 Oh, gosh.
00:04:41.000 Yeah, you know, her folks are down there, so she went down there.
00:04:45.000 She's holed up.
00:04:46.000 I know so many people are holed up.
00:04:47.000 Nick Swartzen, he's holed up in Michigan, you know, or Minnesota, rather, where he's from.
00:04:53.000 You know, one of them M-words.
00:04:54.000 Right.
00:04:55.000 One of them cold places.
00:04:56.000 Yeah, my friend David from Kiltona, he was stuck in New York, and he got out, like, the day before they just banned it, like, all travel out of New York.
00:05:04.000 Right.
00:05:04.000 By now, no hanging out with David.
00:05:06.000 For a little bit.
00:05:07.000 Yeah, right?
00:05:08.000 Give him 14 days.
00:05:09.000 Hey, man.
00:05:09.000 Can I take your temperature?
00:05:11.000 Jamie's got somebody in his building.
00:05:14.000 Got an email yesterday.
00:05:15.000 I was going to say, they have checkpoints they're showing videos of in Florida blocking people coming in from New York.
00:05:21.000 Yeah.
00:05:22.000 So many people flew down there to bail, and they brought that shit down there.
00:05:25.000 Yeah, I was reading an article, I think it was in The Atlantic, about people who are on the Cape, like Cape Cod in Boston, and they're mad that people who own summer houses out there are going to stay in their summer house.
00:05:38.000 Like, hey, you fuck, this is where we live.
00:05:40.000 Don't bring your cooties over here.
00:05:42.000 But they live there too, man.
00:05:45.000 They own two houses.
00:05:46.000 They still own the house.
00:05:48.000 Just if you own two houses, how does that work?
00:05:51.000 You know, like, people want their isolation, right?
00:05:53.000 Because they live in their town.
00:05:54.000 But if somebody bought that house, this is still America.
00:05:58.000 That's their fucking house.
00:05:59.000 Yeah.
00:06:00.000 I get it.
00:06:01.000 You don't want a bunch of people coughing around you.
00:06:03.000 But they don't want a bunch of people coughing around them either, which is why they went to the Cape in the first place.
00:06:08.000 Just everyone's scared.
00:06:09.000 Burbank had, like, two cases.
00:06:11.000 And then yesterday, a retirement home right next to my house.
00:06:15.000 Somebody got it and gave it to, like, 17 people.
00:06:17.000 So we just went up with, like...
00:06:20.000 A ton in Burbank.
00:06:22.000 It just makes me wonder, like, any of those people went to my grocery store.
00:06:25.000 Because now I'm thinking about that.
00:06:27.000 Now I'm, like, overthinking.
00:06:28.000 Like, I got to the overthinking where, like, now I'm thinking about Postmates.
00:06:30.000 I Postmates so much.
00:06:32.000 What if the driver sneezes on my food?
00:06:34.000 Or Amazon box, like, the cardboard box.
00:06:36.000 What if the...
00:06:36.000 Yeah, you got to think, if you Postmate, that guy's going all over the place.
00:06:40.000 Right.
00:06:40.000 They have to.
00:06:41.000 Yeah.
00:06:42.000 They have to.
00:06:42.000 And I doubt Postmates is giving them, like, spray and gloves and all that.
00:06:46.000 This is like the craziest way to try to stop something from spreading.
00:06:51.000 In massive cities where everybody travels, where everybody's connected to everybody, so even when you have everybody on lockdown, it's like you got fingers in the dike trying to hold up the holes in the dam, but water's still squirting through for sure.
00:07:06.000 It's not like you open up the whole dam, but you've got to think of all the different people that have to work, just hospital workers.
00:07:14.000 Them alone, man, they have to work.
00:07:16.000 The other thing I was reading The Atlantic is another...
00:07:18.000 I've been reading The Atlantic lately, apparently.
00:07:21.000 Another article was they were talking about these doctors that can't even test people.
00:07:27.000 They can't use the test on them unless they meet certain criteria.
00:07:31.000 And the doctor was like, he said, when these people come, they have a fever, they're coughing, and if they didn't have coronavirus before they got here, they probably do now.
00:07:41.000 I was like, oh my god.
00:07:45.000 Jesus Christ.
00:07:47.000 And we're not even to the, supposedly, the middle part of all this.
00:07:52.000 Yeah, and it's also...
00:07:56.000 Whose fault is it?
00:07:57.000 Is it anybody's fault?
00:07:58.000 It seems like no one has any idea what's going on.
00:08:02.000 And to blame anybody.
00:08:04.000 Definitely bad decisions were made.
00:08:05.000 Whoever ate that first bat, Ozzy, whoever did it.
00:08:08.000 I've been eating bats for a long time, man.
00:08:10.000 They're just like the Bee Gees down there trying to stay alive.
00:08:12.000 I was reading the article about they said the lady who was patient zero that got it first, she thinks she got it from being in a stall next to it somehow.
00:08:22.000 She didn't say she ate like a bat, but she was in that market and she was selling something else in there and being near it.
00:08:29.000 Oh man, she was breathing bat air all day.
00:08:31.000 20 other people got up to a rounder or something.
00:08:34.000 That's what the explanation I read yesterday was.
00:08:36.000 I don't know how true that was, but that's what it was.
00:08:38.000 Is there any reason for a bat to be a species still?
00:08:42.000 Can't we just wipe out bats?
00:08:44.000 Well, they were talking about doing that with mosquitoes.
00:08:46.000 But when you play God with an ecosystem, you don't know what the unintended consequences are.
00:08:52.000 There's some good examples of that.
00:08:54.000 You can't just do that.
00:08:56.000 Even bringing a new species to a place where it seems like the species is going to be fine has disastrous results.
00:09:05.000 Most of the time.
00:09:06.000 If it's not a part of the system, like, it's weird, man.
00:09:09.000 Like, systems, they exist in nature, and there's, like, all these strengths and weaknesses that balance each other out.
00:09:16.000 These animals that eat other animals, and those animals eat certain plants, and those certain plants, and they shit those plants out, and it helps fertilize other plants, and they got it down.
00:09:25.000 They know what they're doing.
00:09:26.000 And you throw a buffalo into that, and everybody's like...
00:09:28.000 And everything gets fucked up.
00:09:30.000 I mean, that's what happened to Australia.
00:09:33.000 You know, Australia and New Zealand are both crazy examples of that.
00:09:36.000 Australia in particular, because so many people live there.
00:09:39.000 I mean, almost as many people as live in L.A. live in Australia, which doesn't seem like a lot.
00:09:45.000 Isn't Australia like they're not letting anyone leave?
00:09:47.000 Yeah, I think they gotta...
00:09:48.000 I don't know.
00:09:48.000 Is that true?
00:09:50.000 I thought I read that.
00:09:51.000 They were locked down.
00:09:51.000 They probably should.
00:09:52.000 But anyway, Australia has wild cats, like house cats, that they put out to kill some other thing, that they put out to live over.
00:10:00.000 They did a bunch of stupid shit like that.
00:10:02.000 Like they have all these animals just roaming around.
00:10:04.000 They have to kill them.
00:10:04.000 They have to chase them down and kill them.
00:10:06.000 All these deer and all these different stags and these different animals.
00:10:11.000 Sometimes they have to do it with helicopters.
00:10:12.000 They fly over and just gun them down because they don't have any predators.
00:10:15.000 So these things just get to these preposterous proportions.
00:10:19.000 Look at Japanese beetles.
00:10:21.000 You know, they came from Japan and they fuck up our country, what, every seven years?
00:10:24.000 They come in town and just...
00:10:25.000 Do you guys ever have beetles in L.A.? I don't know, like, where you have to get those beetle bags.
00:10:30.000 Well, they get those bark beetles that fucked up Big Bear.
00:10:33.000 Yeah.
00:10:33.000 You know those bark beetles?
00:10:35.000 They kill all the trees.
00:10:35.000 Yeah, they kill a certain large number of those trees.
00:10:38.000 And because we're scared of fire, for good reasons, we never let fires happen.
00:10:42.000 So those trees in nature, they're supposed to burn down.
00:10:44.000 And everything's supposed to recover and the burn actually helps the trees grow.
00:10:50.000 Again, it's a system that's been in place for a million years.
00:10:54.000 But we're like, we're better than this.
00:10:56.000 We're smarter.
00:10:57.000 We know what we're going to do.
00:10:58.000 We're just going to...
00:10:59.000 Ah, some beetles got over there on a boat.
00:11:01.000 Who gives a shit?
00:11:03.000 Some plants got in someone's boot.
00:11:06.000 The seeds were in the cracks of someone's boot and wound up in the forest.
00:11:09.000 And this new invasive species crops up and chokes off all the native plants.
00:11:14.000 It happens all the time.
00:11:16.000 What's that stuff that's in the South we talked about at one time?
00:11:19.000 It covers everything.
00:11:20.000 Some crazy growth that I believe it's from Asia originally, and it made it down.
00:11:27.000 Someone was explaining it to me, and I remember I was blown away because I'd never heard about it.
00:11:30.000 It's like a mold?
00:11:32.000 No, it's like a vine that covers everything.
00:11:34.000 It's like trees that cover other trees.
00:11:36.000 They choke out all the life.
00:11:38.000 They take away all the oxygen and sun.
00:11:42.000 Not ivory.
00:11:43.000 Oxygen.
00:11:43.000 Trees don't even breathe oxygen.
00:11:45.000 What am I talking about?
00:11:46.000 Kudzu.
00:11:47.000 Yeah, that's the stuff.
00:11:48.000 Pull up a picture of that shit.
00:11:49.000 It takes over a whole forest.
00:11:51.000 Jesus.
00:11:51.000 Yeah, it's weird.
00:11:52.000 I never even heard about it until like three or four years ago.
00:11:54.000 Someone on the podcast brought it up and I was like, what?
00:11:56.000 I wonder if I've seen it before.
00:11:57.000 What is this?
00:11:58.000 Look at that.
00:11:59.000 Dude, that stuff just takes over.
00:12:02.000 Oh, so it's growing over trees.
00:12:04.000 It grows over everything.
00:12:05.000 Wow, that looks like ghosts.
00:12:07.000 Yeah, it's like an alien thing that decides it's gonna like overcome everything in its environment and completely take over other trees.
00:12:16.000 At least it looks okay.
00:12:17.000 It looks dope.
00:12:18.000 It looks dope.
00:12:19.000 But it's weird, dude.
00:12:21.000 Things like that are weird.
00:12:23.000 Because if that was an animal doing that to other animals, we'd be freaked out.
00:12:27.000 If we let these rats loose and the rats were chasing down people's cows and killing all these people's cows, we'd be like, what the fuck is going on?
00:12:38.000 Oh, these rats just live around cows and consume them.
00:12:42.000 But we see trees getting consumed.
00:12:45.000 Like, if you've never seen these photos, the stuff's spelled K-U-D-Z-U. And it's, that was, was that in the Mississippi?
00:12:54.000 Was that where the photo was from, that last photo?
00:12:55.000 Yeah, I think so, yeah.
00:12:57.000 Somewhere in the south.
00:12:58.000 And I don't know when this shit, see if you could find the history, when it was introduced.
00:13:03.000 Oh, it's in Portland, Oregon, too.
00:13:05.000 That name sounds like it came from Asia.
00:13:08.000 Like, Caduceus.
00:13:09.000 Japanese.
00:13:10.000 Japanese.
00:13:10.000 Goddamn you and you Beatles.
00:13:11.000 When was it brought over here?
00:13:14.000 That stuff is just dominating wherever it is.
00:13:17.000 It's weird.
00:13:20.000 Especially when something like this is going on, like we're dealing with coronavirus, and you stop and think about the things that get.
00:13:28.000 1876, Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia.
00:13:33.000 That's when Kuzu was introduced from Japan and the United States at the Japanese Pavilion.
00:13:39.000 1876. So from 1876, that shit took the fuck off.
00:13:44.000 Is there anything you could do, like eat it or cook it or smoke it?
00:13:47.000 I don't know.
00:13:47.000 Good question.
00:13:48.000 That picture that Jamie had, the last picture about Portland, was talking about an eradication.
00:13:52.000 They're trying to eradicate it.
00:13:54.000 But how do you eradicate all that stuff?
00:13:56.000 There's so much of it.
00:13:58.000 They used it as camo to cover up tanks in World War II. That makes sense.
00:14:04.000 Yeah.
00:14:05.000 Oh my god, you'd hide in that stuff.
00:14:06.000 Perfect.
00:14:07.000 You'd never be able to see what the fuck anything is.
00:14:09.000 There we go.
00:14:09.000 Yeah.
00:14:11.000 You can kind of eat it.
00:14:12.000 It says it contains a starch and the flour is going to be made into a jelly.
00:14:16.000 Whoa.
00:14:16.000 It's been used as a food ingredient in East Asia, in Vietnam, the starch called, say that, bhat sonday?
00:14:24.000 What do you think?
00:14:25.000 Bhat sonday.
00:14:26.000 Bhat sonday.
00:14:28.000 It's flavored with pomelo and then used as a drink in the summer.
00:14:32.000 Huh.
00:14:33.000 Yeah.
00:14:33.000 There you go.
00:14:34.000 But it's a life form that's killing another life form, taking over massive swaths of land.
00:14:41.000 And it makes me think about this coronavirus.
00:14:43.000 You know, that's another different...
00:14:46.000 I mean, it's not a life form.
00:14:47.000 It's a virus, technically.
00:14:48.000 But it's obviously a thing that grows and wants life and kills and consumes bodies and takes over.
00:14:57.000 And it's so easy to pass, I guess.
00:14:59.000 People are talking about how if you let somebody pet your dog, like if you're walking your dog and somebody goes, oh no, and pets your dog.
00:15:05.000 And it stays on the dog.
00:15:05.000 And then it's on your dog.
00:15:06.000 Jesus Christ.
00:15:08.000 Or like these jewels.
00:15:10.000 You put your jewel down on a table, you don't even think about it, and then you put it right in your mouth.
00:15:14.000 You called it a dirty straw the other day.
00:15:16.000 Exactly.
00:15:17.000 You're just holding a dirty straw.
00:15:18.000 You have that dirty straw in your pocket all the time.
00:15:20.000 It's always rubbing up against your lint and your gum.
00:15:23.000 Right.
00:15:23.000 Yeah, luckily these things, the ends are replaceable, so you're kind of...
00:15:27.000 Just throw it away every five minutes.
00:15:28.000 Yeah.
00:15:30.000 Just have a giant gym bag of them.
00:15:33.000 My girlfriend just got one of those phone cleaners where you put your phone in and it has the UV lights.
00:15:37.000 So now I'm putting everything in.
00:15:38.000 I'm putting jewels, car keys.
00:15:39.000 It's a good move.
00:15:40.000 It's a good move.
00:15:41.000 I had heard about those before.
00:15:43.000 I didn't know there was a thing that I found out about called a SteriStick.
00:15:47.000 And they use it when they go backcountry hiking and stuff and camping.
00:15:51.000 And it purifies water with a stick.
00:15:54.000 Like it's an electrolyte band.
00:15:55.000 And you stick it in...
00:15:59.000 It's UV light, and you stick it into this...
00:16:02.000 It's like a straw-looking thing.
00:16:05.000 A life straw.
00:16:05.000 Yeah, like a lightsaber.
00:16:06.000 Remember those kids' lightsabers?
00:16:08.000 Right.
00:16:08.000 That's what it looks like, with a clear on the outside, and you just spit.
00:16:11.000 See if you can find one of those fucking things.
00:16:13.000 I wouldn't trust that.
00:16:13.000 Apparently, the light kills all the bacteria, but it doesn't filter the taste.
00:16:18.000 It still tastes like donkey piss.
00:16:19.000 Yeah, you still get little grits of...
00:16:21.000 Yeah.
00:16:22.000 I mean, if you get lucky, you get a clean stream, you just run that through it and it doesn't alter the taste of the water, which is nice.
00:16:29.000 I don't know how it's working.
00:16:31.000 Yeah, there's other ones, the life straws, where you can just sit there and drink urine through a straw and it cleans it out.
00:16:36.000 Now, I would trust that more than just a light.
00:16:38.000 Well, those get clogged up, man.
00:16:40.000 And sometimes they leak.
00:16:41.000 Sometimes people get giardia from those filters.
00:16:43.000 They don't clean them good enough.
00:16:45.000 And they get clogged up with poo, which is what giardia is.
00:16:48.000 You're basically getting a disease that comes out of gopher shit.
00:16:52.000 They call it beaver fever.
00:16:54.000 Yeah.
00:16:56.000 I wonder if this corona is going to kill joint circles because now that seems insane.
00:17:01.000 Just go out in the back of the commie store with 20 dirty comics.
00:17:05.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:17:06.000 So that fucking thing, that little lightsaber thing, Steri-Stick, that can...
00:17:12.000 What does it say as far as how quick it does it?
00:17:14.000 This is an article about this first straw like this.
00:17:18.000 SteriPen, a small pen-like electronic device that emits an ultraviolet light and purifies either half a liter or one full liter of water at a time.
00:17:27.000 The device operates on batteries and works with clean water by killing the DNA of harmful microbes and bacteria.
00:17:34.000 What?
00:17:35.000 How weird is that?
00:17:37.000 I wonder how long it takes, though, because I know the phone cleaner takes like 10 minutes.
00:17:42.000 One minute later?
00:17:43.000 That doesn't seem right.
00:17:45.000 So, once the water's safe to drink, about one minute later, the light turns off and flashes green.
00:17:51.000 One minute?
00:17:53.000 That's insane.
00:17:54.000 I wonder if they tested it.
00:17:55.000 They should test it.
00:17:56.000 Yeah, you drink it, bitch.
00:17:58.000 I remember there was this one executive, and he was talking about how safe glyphosate is.
00:18:04.000 That's Roundup.
00:18:05.000 That stuff that they're now proving causes cancer.
00:18:09.000 Proving.
00:18:10.000 And lawsuits have been settled.
00:18:11.000 And, you know, it's not good for you to consume.
00:18:14.000 And this guy had a glass of it.
00:18:15.000 And he's like, you could drink it.
00:18:16.000 And so the guy's like, go ahead, drink it.
00:18:18.000 He wouldn't drink it.
00:18:20.000 He's like, you can drink it.
00:18:21.000 He brought a glass of it.
00:18:23.000 Like, bitch, drink it.
00:18:24.000 Did you see the guy that they just arrested for selling the coronavirus pill that supposedly kills the coronavirus?
00:18:30.000 He reminds me of that old bodybuilding guy.
00:18:32.000 What's that?
00:18:33.000 Dan or whatever that used to sell fake...
00:18:35.000 Oh, one of the back of the book guys?
00:18:38.000 Yeah.
00:18:39.000 But if you look at this guy, he looks like insane.
00:18:42.000 Well, there was some preachers that were selling it.
00:18:44.000 Like Jim Baker was selling a coronavirus cure.
00:18:48.000 They straight up arrested this guy, though.
00:18:50.000 He looks like a meathead.
00:18:52.000 What?
00:18:52.000 They say there's nothing...
00:18:55.000 With the chloroquine, there's no studies, right?
00:18:59.000 There's no definitive tests, but they're still letting people try it.
00:19:02.000 Is that what's going on with that?
00:19:03.000 I think so.
00:19:05.000 The couple that died took the wrong shit.
00:19:08.000 Yeah, they took poison.
00:19:09.000 Yeah, cleaner.
00:19:10.000 They took algae or bacteria killer.
00:19:14.000 It's for fucking koi ponds.
00:19:16.000 It's poison.
00:19:17.000 They took poison.
00:19:18.000 They died from taking poison.
00:19:19.000 They misread or misunderstood or something.
00:19:21.000 Dude, the media today is kind of spooky with their hatred of Trump is getting in the way of the accuracy of some people's reporting of the news.
00:19:30.000 And that's a perfect example.
00:19:32.000 By resorting to clickbait and saying that they heard it from Trump.
00:19:37.000 That's not what he said.
00:19:38.000 What he's talking about is a different kind of chloroquine.
00:19:41.000 There's more than one different kind of it, right?
00:19:43.000 Right.
00:19:43.000 But if they just said, real simply, That these people died.
00:19:50.000 Please be careful.
00:19:51.000 There is more than one different kind of chloroquine and chloroquine hasn't been shown definitively to work yet.
00:19:58.000 And it's not necessarily safe to take.
00:20:01.000 If they said that, that would be great.
00:20:03.000 But instead they had to say the president told people to take it.
00:20:06.000 But that's not what he said.
00:20:08.000 What he said is that there's hope and we're hoping that this could be a cure or this could be a treatment.
00:20:14.000 That's what he said.
00:20:15.000 But that's what everybody's saying.
00:20:17.000 Like, if you go and read articles about that when doctors are talking about potential treatments, there's a bunch of different ones.
00:20:23.000 There's IV vitamin C. There's chloroquine.
00:20:27.000 So it's this chloroquine, which is like an old-school malaria medication, and then Z-Pax.
00:20:33.000 They're talking about, what is that called?
00:20:35.000 Zethromythosin?
00:20:36.000 How do you say that?
00:20:36.000 I don't know.
00:20:38.000 But that antibiotic, they're saying that that may have some effect, but these are may.
00:20:43.000 That's what they're saying.
00:20:44.000 It's people who are scrambling for an answer, who are trying to help people, not sure if this is definitely going to work or not going to work, but it shows some promise.
00:20:51.000 That's what Trump talked about.
00:20:53.000 Like, you can't give him a hard time for talking about what doctors are talking about.
00:20:58.000 Because legitimate people are talking about that combination of things.
00:21:02.000 Just because you hate Trump, you can't distort this and make it seem like Trump did something irresponsible by talking about this hopeful disease medication, and these people took the wrong version of it and died.
00:21:14.000 Like, that's a cautionary tale.
00:21:15.000 It's not a chance to shit on Trump.
00:21:17.000 But everything's a chance to shit on Trump.
00:21:20.000 It's so exhausting.
00:21:21.000 It's just...
00:21:23.000 It's fucking weird, man.
00:21:25.000 Well, have you seen his ratings?
00:21:27.000 It's silly.
00:21:27.000 He's silly.
00:21:28.000 There's no doubt he does silly shit.
00:21:30.000 But he's gotten a lot better at handling confrontational conversations with reporters.
00:21:37.000 You know, I was watching this one yesterday and this reporter was...
00:21:44.000 Asking him questions.
00:21:44.000 She asked him about a few things, but she asked about people dying because of the economy failing.
00:21:51.000 And him talking about, like, is there anyone that could speak to this, she says.
00:21:56.000 She's playing a game, right?
00:21:57.000 The game is she knows there's no real data that shows if they do that, this will happen.
00:22:02.000 If the economy crashes the way they anticipated crashing and all these people are out of work for an extended period of time, X amount of people will kill themselves.
00:22:10.000 But we for sure know that economic despair is a reason why some people go into depression.
00:22:17.000 Depression is a reason why some people kill themselves.
00:22:19.000 These are all facts that we all know.
00:22:22.000 Like maybe you can't pull that out of your ass when you're standing in front of a podium and you're addressing people and they're calling you out on this.
00:22:29.000 And what she was saying correctly is we can't put money ahead of people's lives.
00:22:37.000 So the correct thing, by most people's account, is for at least some period of time, separating everybody, maintaining this distance, and putting a stop to the number of viruses or the number of people that get infected.
00:22:54.000 But what he's saying is, there's also a factor that we have to consider.
00:22:58.000 That all these people at a war could lead to suicide.
00:23:01.000 It could lead to drug addiction.
00:23:02.000 And he's right.
00:23:03.000 And you know he's right.
00:23:04.000 We all know he's right.
00:23:05.000 That's not...
00:23:06.000 That's irrefutable.
00:23:07.000 When people's lives fall apart through the unexpected circumstances, some people are hanging on by a fucking thread.
00:23:15.000 And that comes along and it does them in.
00:23:17.000 That does happen to people.
00:23:18.000 We all know that to be true.
00:23:20.000 Just because you hate Trump, you can't pretend that this isn't going to be rough for people.
00:23:25.000 Or you can't pretend that him saying That this can cause a loss of life too.
00:23:30.000 I think the problem might have been he might have said maybe more life.
00:23:35.000 There's no evidence of that.
00:23:37.000 That's true.
00:23:38.000 There's no evidence that it might cause more loss of life.
00:23:41.000 I think also we grew up always listening at a stressful time.
00:23:45.000 When the president came on, you felt comforted.
00:23:48.000 Like his tone of voice, how he acted, you always kind of felt safer.
00:23:53.000 And I think when it comes to Trump, you're just like, hey, hey, fuck you, you know, and this kind of shit.
00:23:59.000 Get out of here!
00:24:00.000 That's the worst Trump impression ever.
00:24:02.000 AA, fuck you.
00:24:03.000 He does kind of remind me of like, you know, like a New York or a New Jersey guy.
00:24:08.000 Like, you know, get this, you know, cocksucker.
00:24:10.000 Well, I mean, he kind of is.
00:24:12.000 He's a New York real estate mogul.
00:24:14.000 You know, you have to have a certain amount of that to thrive in New York City.
00:24:18.000 New York people are a unique breed.
00:24:21.000 Bro, who got hit harder than them?
00:24:22.000 They've already lost more than a thousand people as of this morning.
00:24:25.000 That place has got it bad because they're all stacked on top of each other.
00:24:30.000 It's one of the things, unfortunately, that makes New York awesome.
00:24:34.000 New York, you're just immersed.
00:24:36.000 You're immersed in people.
00:24:39.000 You know, you walk down the street in New York and people are everywhere, man.
00:24:42.000 They're coming at you.
00:24:43.000 You're coming at them.
00:24:45.000 It's wild.
00:24:45.000 It's a different kind of way of living.
00:24:47.000 I get it.
00:24:48.000 All the people that love it.
00:24:50.000 My friend Jeff, he's lived there forever since I met him.
00:24:54.000 He's my manager.
00:24:55.000 And he fucking loves it.
00:24:57.000 Loves New York.
00:24:58.000 Just loves it.
00:24:59.000 Loves knowing all the good spots.
00:25:02.000 Loves knowing how to get around the subway.
00:25:04.000 He doesn't even need a...
00:25:05.000 He loves it.
00:25:05.000 He loves it.
00:25:06.000 I go there, I'm like, Jesus Christ.
00:25:09.000 I just, I just go and I go, wah!
00:25:12.000 Woo!
00:25:12.000 Let me jump off that ride.
00:25:13.000 That's how I feel about New York.
00:25:15.000 Me too.
00:25:16.000 But it's great.
00:25:18.000 It's great.
00:25:18.000 And I get it that you would want to live there.
00:25:20.000 I get it.
00:25:21.000 Especially like creative types.
00:25:23.000 But Judah Friedlander was telling us, it's like all bankers now.
00:25:26.000 He goes, it's so fucking expensive to live in Manhattan.
00:25:30.000 It's not like this, you know, this giant artist community anymore.
00:25:33.000 He goes, everybody's sort of been pushed out to Brooklyn and pushed out to the other boroughs.
00:25:37.000 It's so expensive.
00:25:39.000 I looked up somebody, like a celebrity, accidentally put out his address the other day, and I was like, oh, I want to know what he lives, you know.
00:25:44.000 He lives in that little two-bedroom apartment, $3.7 million, and I was just like, what?
00:25:50.000 That's so crazy!
00:25:51.000 Bro.
00:25:52.000 Yeah, he's been blogging from it, and it just looks like a basic apartment.
00:25:55.000 40 minutes out of Nashville, 2.7, 3.7, is that what you said?
00:25:58.000 How much?
00:25:59.000 3.7.
00:25:59.000 3.7 million dollars will buy you a goddamn farm.
00:26:02.000 You could have a giant ass farm with like 400 acres of land and a beautiful house with a view.
00:26:09.000 Maybe have a creek in your backyard.
00:26:11.000 That's what you get for 3.7 million dollars.
00:26:14.000 You're not supposed to get a fucking apartment?
00:26:15.000 No.
00:26:16.000 A basic apartment.
00:26:17.000 It's in that Chelsea district.
00:26:19.000 Is that a good spot?
00:26:20.000 I guess.
00:26:21.000 I don't know anything about New York.
00:26:22.000 Yeah, I know that one spot that was really good that everybody's trying to convince me I should move to, flooded.
00:26:28.000 What's that one spot down on the base of New York?
00:26:31.000 What's that one place where they all love it?
00:26:34.000 Financial district down there?
00:26:35.000 Yeah, but there's an area down there that's like real ritzy.
00:26:39.000 Meatpacking district?
00:26:40.000 Yeah, but they don't call it that.
00:26:41.000 It's got another name.
00:26:42.000 Hell's Kitchen?
00:26:43.000 No, no, no.
00:26:43.000 Okay, I don't know.
00:26:44.000 You sure it's not Chelsea?
00:26:45.000 No, it's not that.
00:26:46.000 I know people in New York are screaming right now.
00:26:49.000 I'll remember later.
00:26:51.000 But it flooded.
00:26:52.000 Like real bad.
00:26:53.000 Like my friend's elevator had seven feet of water in it.
00:26:56.000 Yeah, like your lobby.
00:26:58.000 You go into the lobby.
00:26:59.000 It was filled with water.
00:27:00.000 It starts with a T? God damn it.
00:27:03.000 It's driving me crazy.
00:27:04.000 Tristan.
00:27:12.000 So we went there to visit once back in the Disney when my older daughter was going to college and when we drove around like to see what it'd be like to live in New York We were like you guys are high You can't even park.
00:27:26.000 There's nowhere to park.
00:27:27.000 If you want a parking spot, it costs you like 2,000 bucks.
00:27:31.000 That's kind of it.
00:27:32.000 Maybe if you don't like cars, you'd like New York better.
00:27:35.000 But if you have a car...
00:27:37.000 Yeah.
00:27:38.000 Well, there's freedom that we have.
00:27:39.000 There's a freedom of just being able to get in your car and just, you know...
00:27:44.000 Drive down to a deli at 1 in the morning and park and get out with your friends.
00:27:49.000 There's that freedom that you have to just go wherever you want with cars.
00:27:53.000 Once you get used to that and you get used to not being on top of people like the subway, you get spoiled.
00:28:01.000 But there's a benefit to being on top of people, too.
00:28:04.000 New York is way more diverse in terms of the way people interact with each other.
00:28:09.000 Rich people are walking down the street, poor people are walking up the street, and everybody's together.
00:28:14.000 There's no everybody together in LA. There's no time where everybody just intermingles.
00:28:20.000 It's like people stay in their neighborhoods or they go out to bars and restaurants and they go back to their neighborhoods.
00:28:25.000 They're not walking past each other for prolonged periods of time, to and from work, you know, in the neighborhood, going from place to place, just walking around.
00:28:34.000 It's kind of ironic that the most urban place It's the place where the people walk the most.
00:28:40.000 Kind of ironic, right?
00:28:41.000 Yeah.
00:28:42.000 I mean, any place that's less urban, everybody just drives everywhere.
00:28:46.000 Because it's easier to just get in your car and drive somewhere.
00:28:48.000 But there, it's so hard to park.
00:28:50.000 Everybody just walks.
00:28:52.000 Imagine if everybody in New York had a car.
00:28:54.000 That would be the most ridiculous thing ever.
00:28:56.000 You actually couldn't do it, right?
00:28:59.000 No.
00:29:00.000 How many million people are in New York?
00:29:03.000 In Manhattan.
00:29:04.000 Just Manhattan.
00:29:04.000 That live there?
00:29:05.000 Yeah, what do you think?
00:29:06.000 Seven?
00:29:07.000 No, it's less than that because Brooklyn's way bigger.
00:29:10.000 Really?
00:29:10.000 Yeah.
00:29:11.000 I mean, most people are driving into the city to work for the day and then they leave.
00:29:16.000 Let's take a bet.
00:29:17.000 I bet it's more than that.
00:29:19.000 I bet it's five.
00:29:20.000 I just heard a discussion about it the other day.
00:29:22.000 Oh, what did you hear it on?
00:29:24.000 Some guys talking about how Brooklyn, if it was on its own, not part of the boroughs, it would be like the fifth largest city in the country.
00:29:30.000 Is this guy just someone hanging out with you?
00:29:32.000 No, no, no.
00:29:33.000 It was a podcast discussion.
00:29:34.000 They live in New York and they're just talking about it.
00:29:36.000 That's the problem.
00:29:36.000 I heard.
00:29:37.000 This I heard shit.
00:29:38.000 Let's Google it.
00:29:39.000 I say 5 million.
00:29:40.000 What do you say?
00:29:41.000 3.7.
00:29:43.000 Oh, that's a good hedge or bat move.
00:29:44.000 And you say 2?
00:29:45.000 How many people live in Manhattan?
00:29:46.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:29:46.000 Full-time residents.
00:29:47.000 Probably less than a million.
00:29:48.000 Wow.
00:29:49.000 Holy shit.
00:29:50.000 That doesn't seem right.
00:29:52.000 It's not that big.
00:29:53.000 Manhattan?
00:29:54.000 Manhattan, like the borough, or all of New York City.
00:29:56.000 No, just Manhattan.
00:29:57.000 Just Manhattan.
00:29:58.000 Yeah.
00:29:59.000 I bet it's bigger than that.
00:30:01.000 It's like a Burbank.
00:30:02.000 At night, everyone leaves.
00:30:04.000 There's no one actually that lives there.
00:30:06.000 There's no way it's a million.
00:30:07.000 There's so many people that live there.
00:30:10.000 1.6.
00:30:11.000 Wow.
00:30:12.000 Oh my god, that's bonkers.
00:30:14.000 Is that in the 30s?
00:30:15.000 2020. 1930s.
00:30:19.000 1.6!
00:30:21.000 And how many visit there to work every day?
00:30:23.000 That's gotta be fucking stupendous.
00:30:25.000 What do you guess?
00:30:26.000 Every day.
00:30:27.000 3.7.
00:30:31.000 I'm saying 5 million visitors.
00:30:34.000 How many?
00:30:36.000 65.2 million tourists in a year.
00:30:39.000 Oh, but that's tourists.
00:30:40.000 I mean commuters.
00:30:43.000 How many people do you think commute there every day?
00:30:46.000 3.7.
00:30:48.000 It's an interesting life, man, and those people that love it when they go somewhere else.
00:30:53.000 It's 1.6 to 3.1 commute every day, so it doubles.
00:30:57.000 Oh, that's it, huh?
00:30:58.000 3.1.
00:30:59.000 Wow, I would have guessed that Manhattan was like 7 million people.
00:31:04.000 What is the whole of New York City, all the boroughs together?
00:31:06.000 That's what it all is.
00:31:07.000 It's close to 10 to 11, 12 when you get everything all together.
00:31:10.000 But Manhattan itself is a lot of fucking rich people.
00:31:14.000 You see some of the places that are for sale in Manhattan.
00:31:17.000 I don't know what happened, but I got on a YouTube thing where I started watching these ridiculous apartment buildings in New York City that they build, where they build them specifically for some crazy Arab oil dude.
00:31:30.000 Who's got a shit ton of money, who wants the dopest fucking house on the planet Earth, or some hedge fund guy who's about to get busted before he wants to go out with a bang and spend all his money.
00:31:39.000 But they have elevators and fucking theaters and huge home spas.
00:31:44.000 Some of them actually have garages.
00:31:46.000 You can actually park in a garage in New York City.
00:31:48.000 Wow.
00:31:49.000 It's like the crowning jewel of this building.
00:31:52.000 A garage!
00:31:54.000 You actually can park your car in New York City.
00:31:57.000 I'm like, wow, what is wrong?
00:32:00.000 What did you do?
00:32:03.000 It's weird being on Facebook.
00:32:04.000 My friend's a realtor, and he'll just post, like, oh, here's an eight-bedroom unit in Texas, $200,000, and you're just looking at, like, that's Scarface's house.
00:32:13.000 Like, I want to buy that.
00:32:16.000 Yeah, you'd have to.
00:32:17.000 If you lived in Texas, would you go Austin?
00:32:19.000 There's two moves.
00:32:20.000 No, there's three moves, really.
00:32:22.000 There's Austin, if you're like, yeah, I want a hand tattoo.
00:32:27.000 Yeah, I love craft beer, and I like going to see live bands.
00:32:33.000 Or you're Houston where it's like you really love oil money.
00:32:37.000 Or Dallas?
00:32:38.000 I would definitely not do Houston because of the weather.
00:32:41.000 Too funky?
00:32:42.000 Yeah, it's too humid out there.
00:32:43.000 Summer gets hot.
00:32:44.000 And it's too much to drown, like, flooding lately.
00:32:46.000 They do flood.
00:32:47.000 They're out of control.
00:32:47.000 Like, my ex-girlfriend's house, her parents' house got flooded, like, four times.
00:32:52.000 They rebuilt it, and then it got flooded, rebuilt it.
00:32:54.000 Remember that one time when we were at the Laugh Stop?
00:32:58.000 And after we left, the entire city went underwater.
00:33:01.000 Yeah.
00:33:02.000 Like, the hotel where we were staying at doesn't exist anymore because it went underwater.
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:07.000 Sad.
00:33:07.000 Dallas is the move, I think.
00:33:08.000 Yeah, Dallas is my favorite.
00:33:10.000 Because you could always drive to Austin, then you can get out before anybody just annoys you.
00:33:14.000 And Dallas is pretty close to Los Angeles.
00:33:16.000 It's got a lot of money, and it's very rich, and so everywhere you go, it feels very LA. And they have less healers per capita.
00:33:22.000 Yeah.
00:33:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:33:25.000 Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Austin.
00:33:27.000 I love Austin.
00:33:29.000 But there's a high percentage of knuckleheads that are like wrapped up in the spiritual sort of aspects of nonsense.
00:33:37.000 Takes one rock store to ruin that though.
00:33:40.000 One crystal store.
00:33:42.000 Oh my god.
00:33:44.000 One person who's a channeler was doing seances at their house.
00:33:50.000 You think their business is picking up right now?
00:33:52.000 No.
00:33:52.000 Protecting people?
00:33:53.000 No, people need money.
00:33:54.000 People need money.
00:33:55.000 They're not going to spend their fucking money on some nonsense.
00:33:58.000 In the back of their head, they know it was nonsense.
00:34:00.000 You're hearing way, way, way, way, way less people complain about nonsense right now.
00:34:05.000 You don't hear the standard outrage at stupid shit.
00:34:10.000 What you're hearing now is people really concerned about people's lives, you know?
00:34:14.000 And I'm hoping that this is gonna last, that this feeling of understanding that we are really vulnerable.
00:34:21.000 We're in this together.
00:34:23.000 We really are, you know?
00:34:25.000 And sometimes it takes something like this to happen where you go, oh shit.
00:34:28.000 But no, we really are.
00:34:29.000 We're in this together.
00:34:31.000 We just didn't realize it because it was easy.
00:34:33.000 It was easy to get by.
00:34:34.000 It's really cool seeing the neighborhood aspect of it.
00:34:38.000 I don't know if you're on Nextdoor.
00:34:40.000 I'd tell you're on Nextdoor.
00:34:41.000 That'd be hilarious.
00:34:42.000 But Nextdoor is like a Reddit thread for your neighborhood.
00:34:46.000 And just hearing people like, hey, does anyone have toilet paper?
00:34:48.000 And somebody's like, oh, drop off lemons, my lemon tree.
00:34:51.000 And just helping each other out.
00:34:53.000 It's pretty beautiful.
00:34:54.000 It didn't happen before this, you know?
00:34:56.000 It's very cool.
00:34:57.000 It's funny you say lemons.
00:34:58.000 My next-door neighbor, she was handing out lemons yesterday.
00:35:00.000 She had a bucket.
00:35:01.000 Free lemons.
00:35:02.000 Come take some lemons.
00:35:02.000 Just set it out in front of the house.
00:35:04.000 Yeah, there's good parts to being scared, you realize.
00:35:09.000 People get cocky, man.
00:35:11.000 It's one of the reasons why I like weed.
00:35:14.000 I've talked about this and people think I'm kidding, but one of the reasons why I like weed is it makes me paranoid.
00:35:19.000 I like it.
00:35:20.000 I can get cocky.
00:35:22.000 People get cocky.
00:35:23.000 You get confused.
00:35:25.000 You can start believing some pretty stupid things about just life in general if you're not humbled by a little fear sometimes.
00:35:34.000 Just a little nervousness.
00:35:36.000 Just a little anxiety.
00:35:37.000 Just a little look up at the sky.
00:35:39.000 What would we do if an asteroid shower just came down Unannounced and just completely wiped out the power grid.
00:35:47.000 You want to talk about death and disease?
00:35:49.000 What we're experiencing now is this is a fucking dry run for a real apocalyptic event.
00:35:57.000 This is nothing.
00:35:58.000 This is nothing in comparison to stuff that could happen.
00:36:01.000 We got cocky.
00:36:03.000 We didn't think it could happen because nothing had happened in so long.
00:36:06.000 And we'd find these craters and be like, huh.
00:36:10.000 Look, we found a spot where everybody died in, you know, 200,000 years ago.
00:36:15.000 Oh, look, here's a spot where the dinosaurs were killed 65 million years ago.
00:36:18.000 There's all these spots where they keep finding these gigantic fucking craters.
00:36:25.000 Here's where Noah's Ark crashed.
00:36:27.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:36:30.000 People that are really just looking for Noah's Ark, you missed the point.
00:36:35.000 Remember that guy from a long time ago that made the video, Noah's Ark?
00:36:38.000 Oh yeah, yeah.
00:36:38.000 I wonder what happened to that guy.
00:36:40.000 Didn't that guy want us to go look at it?
00:36:41.000 Yeah.
00:36:42.000 You're like, what are you going to show me, a big boat?
00:36:46.000 I'm like, bro, but if you're coming to me, you're already fucked up.
00:36:52.000 You know, you're coming to me to release your Noah's Ark information?
00:36:58.000 I don't think this is real, sir.
00:37:00.000 But I think the Noah's Ark story...
00:37:04.000 Look, you just have to put it through the filter of time, right?
00:37:08.000 We're talking about thousands and thousands of years ago, and we're talking about people likely telling a story for hundreds if not thousands of years before it ever gets written down.
00:37:18.000 And all these different versions of it get tossed around, but the heart of the Noah's Ark story is a cataclysmic event happens and this one guy collects a bunch of animals And he restarts civilization.
00:37:36.000 You could easily put that through the filter of interpretation and say, I bet what happened was there was a small group of people that survived.
00:37:47.000 Some sort of massive cataclysmic event and one guy Convinced someone or they made it up that he knew it was coming and that God had been talking to him So that's why he was able to to lead everybody and then after they tell the story 3,000 different times it gets all whacked out and you know God comes down and tells him no you got to build a boat so he builds this boat and everybody laughs at him and he brings on two of each animal you know It's the dumbest story
00:38:17.000 ever.
00:38:17.000 But it's a story that clearly it's not a real story, right?
00:38:21.000 Because, you know, I had that bit about if you told that to a five-year-old kid with a mental handicap, he would be like, there's a lot of holes in that story.
00:38:30.000 You ever had that bit?
00:38:31.000 Yeah, I love that bit.
00:38:32.000 That bit was, but the accuracy of it was like, animals eat other animals.
00:38:36.000 You can't just have two of each animal on a boat.
00:38:38.000 That's ridiculous.
00:38:39.000 That doesn't make any sense.
00:38:40.000 That makes zero sense.
00:38:41.000 Like, what are you doing?
00:38:42.000 Why are you lying to me?
00:38:43.000 Something else happened.
00:38:45.000 But what they're trying to say is some animal survived and civilization restarted.
00:38:52.000 They didn't know how big the world was back then.
00:38:55.000 People 4,000 years ago or whatever it was when they first wrote these stories down or even had these ideas, those people had no idea how big the world was.
00:39:03.000 They were in their spot.
00:39:04.000 If some shit went down in your spot, you thought the world was ending.
00:39:08.000 You know, can you imagine if you're living near Pompeii When that Mount Vesuvius blows and the whole fucking town gets covered in ash and everybody dies.
00:39:17.000 Imagine if you're living anywhere near there.
00:39:18.000 You would think that hell just broke out in the world.
00:39:22.000 You wouldn't think, oh, in, you know, Thailand right now, they're just chilling on the beach.
00:39:27.000 You wouldn't think that.
00:39:28.000 You would think it's over like this for everyone, everywhere.
00:39:31.000 Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, in fucking New Zealand, they didn't even know it happened.
00:39:34.000 They had no idea.
00:39:35.000 They're just hanging out.
00:39:36.000 Meanwhile, these people are dead as fuck, covered in ash.
00:39:39.000 Over in New Zealand, they're just hanging out.
00:39:42.000 That's how the world is.
00:39:43.000 The world's huge.
00:39:44.000 And if some shit goes down in one part, back then you didn't know.
00:39:49.000 So if you were one of the people to survive when some shit went down, You'd write about it.
00:39:53.000 And then people would talk, and they'd tell that story.
00:39:56.000 And they'd pass it on to other people, and they'd pass it on to other people.
00:39:59.000 And somewhere through these stories, they figured out there's like a framework in here for telling people that shit could go down, and that we have to work together, and that we have to believe in a higher power.
00:40:09.000 And that if you believe in a higher power, and you believe in something else that's bigger and better than you, you'll do better things while you're here.
00:40:15.000 You know?
00:40:16.000 It's so obvious.
00:40:18.000 Obviously I could be wrong too, but my that's that's my take on it and I think We've just had this giant stretch where none of those things happened.
00:40:27.000 You know?
00:40:28.000 We've had a couple of hundred years of pretty easy life in terms of natural disasters.
00:40:33.000 You know, you got your occasional hurricane.
00:40:35.000 Again, if you were there, you would think it's hell.
00:40:39.000 Where the tornado hits.
00:40:40.000 When we're chilling here in L.A. and a tornado hits Louisiana, we feel bad.
00:40:44.000 You see, oh, 36 people died in a tornado.
00:40:46.000 We feel bad.
00:40:47.000 But you don't feel it.
00:40:48.000 You know, you don't know the sky monster's coming to take your loved ones.
00:40:51.000 But if you're there, that sky monster is a real thing.
00:40:54.000 It's a sky monster.
00:40:56.000 Just because it doesn't have fangs, just because it doesn't laugh at you while it's ripping your family apart and throwing fucking bathtubs in the air.
00:41:05.000 There's one video of a semi, like a semi-truck spinning in the sky.
00:41:10.000 Was it Twister?
00:41:11.000 Spinning in the sky.
00:41:12.000 No!
00:41:13.000 No, no, no.
00:41:14.000 It was real.
00:41:14.000 It was real, you son of a bitch.
00:41:16.000 Really?
00:41:17.000 Yeah, it hit a parking area for semi-trucks and these semi-trucks were literally getting flown around the air.
00:41:28.000 Oh, shit.
00:41:29.000 Yeah.
00:41:29.000 I think we found this before.
00:41:31.000 Dude, it might be a twister.
00:41:33.000 With Helen Hunt in it.
00:41:34.000 No, no, no.
00:41:35.000 There it is.
00:41:35.000 Okay.
00:41:36.000 Look at this.
00:41:36.000 It's flying in the air.
00:41:38.000 Oh my god.
00:41:38.000 Look at that.
00:41:38.000 It's just like Twister.
00:41:40.000 It's just like Twister.
00:41:40.000 But it's real.
00:41:41.000 And it's metal.
00:41:42.000 Dude, this is fucking...
00:41:43.000 It's probably several thousand pounds.
00:41:46.000 Holy shit.
00:41:46.000 And they're just getting flown through the air by the sky monster.
00:41:49.000 Now imagine if a huge dinosaur came through town and did the exact same amount of damage, killed the exact same amount of people.
00:41:57.000 You'd be like, fucking Godzilla's real!
00:41:59.000 Oh shit!
00:42:00.000 It's a fucking lizard monster.
00:42:02.000 But we're not scared of the sky monster the way we are of the lizard monster.
00:42:06.000 You would never live in the land where the lizard monster comes.
00:42:09.000 And he just disappears.
00:42:10.000 He just goes back up in the clouds.
00:42:11.000 Yeah, you see him over the mountains.
00:42:14.000 You know he's coming.
00:42:15.000 You're like, fuck!
00:42:15.000 We gotta get out of here!
00:42:16.000 That's just like the sky monster.
00:42:18.000 But he doesn't chase you.
00:42:20.000 Sky Monster's blind.
00:42:21.000 Whatever's in his path, if he gets lucky and catches a town, he just rips that fucker apart.
00:42:25.000 But if he just goes through the swamp and sends alligators into the air either, he doesn't give a fuck.
00:42:29.000 Sky Monster's just doing Sky Monster type shit.
00:42:31.000 He's not targeting specific individuals.
00:42:34.000 But the lizard monster would.
00:42:35.000 That's the only difference.
00:42:37.000 Are you talking like if Godzilla's real?
00:42:38.000 Yes!
00:42:39.000 If Godzilla's real and he only went to Louisiana, who the fuck is gonna live in Louisiana?
00:42:44.000 Imagine if Godzilla's proven Godzilla's never gone outside the boundaries of Louisiana.
00:42:49.000 You go to Louisiana, everybody's running from Godzilla.
00:42:52.000 When no one in the movies leaves Tokyo, they stay there.
00:42:54.000 They're just like, hey, Godzilla's back.
00:42:56.000 Have you ever been in Tokyo?
00:42:57.000 No.
00:42:57.000 Brian and I went to Tokyo.
00:42:59.000 It's pretty dope.
00:42:59.000 I miss Tokyo.
00:43:00.000 I hope I can go.
00:43:01.000 One day.
00:43:01.000 Maybe.
00:43:02.000 If it's still there.
00:43:03.000 If it's still there.
00:43:04.000 That'd be fun to edit Godzilla into all these tornado movies.
00:43:07.000 But if you think about it, man, this virus, I've been saying this about all viruses, that diseases are like demons.
00:43:14.000 You know, and we just, if we were losing, like, have you seen the numbers too?
00:43:19.000 This is something that my friend Steve, who's a doctor, sent me.
00:43:22.000 And this is a fucking series of crazy statistics.
00:43:29.000 But the craziest statistics about how many people die like it puts it into perspective I mean and all life lost is valuable.
00:43:38.000 All life lost is a tragedy.
00:43:39.000 I'm not saying anything other than that But what I'm just I'm not diminishing anyone's loss of life But what I am saying is I was stunned when I saw the actual numbers so 2017 to 2018 H2N3 pandemic killed 61,000 Americans.
00:44:02.000 Did you know that?
00:44:04.000 I didn't know that.
00:44:05.000 I didn't know that.
00:44:05.000 Did you know that, Jamie?
00:44:07.000 I've heard numbers like that recently, but not before.
00:44:09.000 2017 to 2018. Hospitalized 30,453 and estimated affected was 894,700 people by that flu.
00:44:20.000 That's crazy.
00:44:22.000 Overall death rate was 7.5.
00:44:25.000 With a peak in January 2018 of 10.8.
00:44:28.000 Again, I'm a moron, not a doctor, reading you a text message.
00:44:32.000 Maybe I shouldn't be doing that.
00:44:34.000 Maybe someone should look into this.
00:44:36.000 2009 pandemic.
00:44:37.000 Now, this is the one that Bert said he had.
00:44:39.000 He said the H1N1 killed 83,300 Americans.
00:44:45.000 Death rates range from 4% to 33% for pediatric.
00:44:53.000 0 to 22% for 18 to 64. For 0 to 4% for those over 65. Man.
00:45:02.000 This is crazy.
00:45:03.000 US cases 60.8 million.
00:45:05.000 274,000 hospitalized.
00:45:10.000 12,469 deaths in the U.S. I'm just going over all these different ones that happened.
00:45:16.000 Flu of the year of 2020. Cases reported.
00:45:18.000 45 million.
00:45:20.000 Hospitalizations, 415,000.
00:45:22.000 Deaths, 48,000.
00:45:24.000 That's for the 2020 flu.
00:45:27.000 This flu season.
00:45:28.000 There's so many people that die of the flu.
00:45:30.000 But obviously, when you see healthcare workers freaking out, you know this is different.
00:45:36.000 So what is different about it?
00:45:38.000 It's all at the same time.
00:45:40.000 Yeah.
00:45:40.000 It's all at the same time.
00:45:41.000 It's new.
00:45:42.000 It's a new virus.
00:45:43.000 People don't have immunity for it.
00:45:45.000 They don't really know how to cure it.
00:45:46.000 And it attacks the respiratory system.
00:45:49.000 And it seems to have a real quick turnaround from I'm not feeling so good to I'm dead.
00:45:55.000 It happens very quickly for some people, shockingly so.
00:45:59.000 And it seems to affect different people in different ways.
00:46:02.000 There's a lot going on with this one that has smart people going, we need to fucking stay home for a bit.
00:46:08.000 Everybody chill.
00:46:09.000 No large gatherings.
00:46:11.000 Just chill.
00:46:12.000 Do you ever get the flu shot every year?
00:46:14.000 I feel like I get the flu almost every year, but I never do the flu shot.
00:46:20.000 Maybe you should do the other thing.
00:46:21.000 I don't know.
00:46:22.000 I didn't get it last year.
00:46:23.000 I don't get the flu shot.
00:46:24.000 Yeah.
00:46:25.000 Yeah.
00:46:25.000 Is that a bad idea?
00:46:27.000 It seems like it's a...
00:46:27.000 I've survived and been healthy, but just eating well and not getting the flu shot, and then making sure I'm in the sauna and I exercise well and sleep well, and I've been able to shake it off.
00:46:38.000 But...
00:46:39.000 It's a good move.
00:46:41.000 It's probably...
00:46:42.000 I probably should get the flu shot.
00:46:44.000 And if I got the flu again, maybe I'd be like, fuck, man, I should have got the flu shot.
00:46:48.000 Let me just get that flu shot.
00:46:49.000 But, I mean, whether it's diet or whether it's all the shit I'm on, all the different vitamins and hormones and the fact that I'm in the fucking sauna for 25 minutes every day, but I rarely get sick.
00:47:02.000 It seems like you would get it more just because you're around gyms and saunas and places where there's a lot of sweat and...
00:47:09.000 The only cooties I've gotten in the gym that scare me is staph.
00:47:12.000 I've gotten staph a couple of times.
00:47:14.000 That scares me.
00:47:15.000 Did you ever get ring warm?
00:47:16.000 Yeah, I got that a bunch of times.
00:47:17.000 I got that twice at least, maybe three times, which is not that bad.
00:47:20.000 You put Lamisil on it, stay off the mat for a little bit.
00:47:23.000 And then the products that I started using prevented or saved me from that.
00:47:27.000 It's a company called Defense Soap.
00:47:30.000 I use that.
00:47:31.000 It's the shit.
00:47:31.000 Because it's all natural stuff.
00:47:33.000 It's all tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil.
00:47:35.000 And it's not antibiotic in that it doesn't kill off all the good bacteria.
00:47:40.000 It just coats your body with this soap and it's all natural.
00:47:45.000 It kills the bad bacteria, but it doesn't kill good bacteria.
00:47:49.000 I don't understand how that works, folks.
00:47:51.000 But people have known that forever.
00:47:52.000 The tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil are good for infections and preventing infections.
00:47:56.000 I use it because I'm like a yeasty boy.
00:47:58.000 I'm very yeasty.
00:47:59.000 Are you yeasty?
00:47:59.000 Yeah.
00:48:00.000 Do you get used infections?
00:48:02.000 I give it.
00:48:03.000 I give them.
00:48:04.000 You give them out?
00:48:04.000 Yeah, I give them out.
00:48:05.000 You're lucky if you get one from me.
00:48:07.000 You don't let them out.
00:48:09.000 Like awards.
00:48:11.000 Yeah, I've been lucky with diseases.
00:48:13.000 Knock on wood.
00:48:16.000 But it's, you know, this is a weird one if you're compromised.
00:48:22.000 You know, people that have lung issues or people that have had, like, I hate to say it, Brian, but vaping.
00:48:30.000 Vaping, yeah.
00:48:31.000 I think cigarettes and vaping.
00:48:32.000 I wonder weed smokers, though.
00:48:34.000 Because I know it's always like...
00:48:35.000 It's definitely not good for you.
00:48:37.000 Right.
00:48:38.000 It's like, how bad is it for you?
00:48:39.000 Tommy Chong, still going.
00:48:42.000 He's my canary in a coal mine.
00:48:44.000 Because Willie Nelson's out of the game.
00:48:46.000 Willie Nelson moved over to the edible game.
00:48:49.000 100%.
00:48:49.000 Yes, he did.
00:48:50.000 Couldn't take the smoking anymore.
00:48:52.000 Wow.
00:48:52.000 Yeah, smoking was fucking him up.
00:48:54.000 So he moved over to the edible game.
00:48:56.000 It still fucks your lungs up.
00:48:58.000 You're still coughing.
00:48:59.000 Making psychedelic songs at 90. Tommy Tong doesn't have to sing, right?
00:49:04.000 It's true.
00:49:05.000 Willie's going to sing songs.
00:49:07.000 Yeah, and just the smoke.
00:49:11.000 Just the hot smoke.
00:49:12.000 Apparently the number of joints that that guy can put away is supposed to be terrifying.
00:49:18.000 Toby Keith wrote a song about it.
00:49:20.000 I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.
00:49:23.000 He wrote a song about getting high with Willie.
00:49:26.000 Everybody says that.
00:49:27.000 You get high with Willie.
00:49:29.000 Snip versus Willie.
00:49:30.000 Who do you got?
00:49:32.000 I gotta go with Snoop.
00:49:33.000 Yeah.
00:49:34.000 I just gotta go with Snoop.
00:49:35.000 I go with Snoop all day.
00:49:36.000 Yeah.
00:49:37.000 Out of respect.
00:49:38.000 But Snoop is such a G, he might lay down.
00:49:40.000 He might take a dive just for Willie so Willie feels better.
00:49:43.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:44.000 It's true.
00:49:45.000 I can win another day.
00:49:47.000 This is Willie Nelson.
00:49:48.000 You know, Snoop Dogg might take a dive in that one.
00:49:52.000 But if they really wanted to go head-to-head, Snoop's gonna be awake for days, just still smoking.
00:49:57.000 Do you think Willie smokes blunts, though?
00:49:59.000 I'm not that he can't, but you think he does?
00:50:00.000 Like, Snoop fucking tears down blunts.
00:50:03.000 Yeah.
00:50:04.000 I don't know what...
00:50:04.000 It's a different thing.
00:50:05.000 Well, Willie used to smoke cigarettes, right?
00:50:06.000 So I bet he avoids blunts.
00:50:08.000 Or he loves them.
00:50:09.000 I know a lot of people that quit smoking.
00:50:11.000 They're like, no, I'm a blunt guy.
00:50:12.000 Oh, okay, we know what's going on here.
00:50:14.000 Exactly.
00:50:14.000 Well, I know a guy who used cigars to get off his cigarettes.
00:50:18.000 Started smoking cigars and got his nicotine fixed, but, you know, felt better because he wasn't inhaling and just, you know, you just keep it in your mouth so your breath stinks.
00:50:26.000 Smell up the place wherever you're at.
00:50:29.000 Yeah, you don't like cigars.
00:50:31.000 No, I don't mind them.
00:50:32.000 When you go to a place like, say, the Comedy Store front patio and five people are smoking cigars, it's kind of like, get me the fuck out of here.
00:50:40.000 That's a little obnoxious.
00:50:41.000 That's a little dick swingy.
00:50:45.000 Yeah, because you're pretty much just taking over the air.
00:50:49.000 You're making people smell you.
00:50:51.000 Like, if you go to one, the best place to go is one of those cigar bars.
00:50:53.000 Yeah.
00:50:54.000 Because there's a bunch of other cigar dorks in there.
00:50:56.000 You guys can all get together.
00:50:57.000 And apparently, is this true?
00:50:59.000 Are cigar bars essential?
00:51:01.000 Is that one of those essential businesses that are open?
00:51:03.000 I mean, if pot shops are, I can imagine.
00:51:05.000 Yeah.
00:51:06.000 Because here's the thing.
00:51:07.000 People do get addicted to tobacco.
00:51:10.000 Right.
00:51:10.000 So what do you do about that?
00:51:12.000 Do you say, hey, now's the time to quit?
00:51:14.000 Right.
00:51:14.000 Sorry, you can't go anywhere?
00:51:17.000 Or do you let them, if that's how they get their tobacco fix, do you let them?
00:51:21.000 What do you think?
00:51:21.000 I would say they're not essential.
00:51:24.000 But, I mean, pot shops surprised me.
00:51:26.000 Look at gun shops, man.
00:51:27.000 My studio in Burbank's by three gun shops.
00:51:30.000 I had no idea.
00:51:31.000 But there's three right next door to me, and there's lines going down the street like a mile long just to get a gun.
00:51:37.000 You have a 10-day waiting crate.
00:51:39.000 Yeah, but still, 10 days later, you've got a gun.
00:51:41.000 A lot of liberals change their fucking tune.
00:51:43.000 I have...
00:51:44.000 Quite a few friends who would never consider having a gun.
00:51:48.000 I had a conversation with one of them yesterday.
00:51:49.000 He's like, I've never had a gun in my life, never considered a gun.
00:51:51.000 I have a gun now.
00:51:52.000 I'm like, yeah, that's probably smart.
00:51:55.000 Better to have it and not to need it than to need it and not to have it.
00:51:59.000 And I'm hoping people come together.
00:52:01.000 I'm not hoping this turns into some crazy shootout in the streets.
00:52:05.000 But I am happy that people understand why people wanted guns in the first place.
00:52:11.000 Because these things can happen.
00:52:13.000 And right now, nothing.
00:52:14.000 Nothing has happened.
00:52:15.000 Nothing really bad.
00:52:16.000 But we're in a state of chaos.
00:52:18.000 And states of chaos deteriorate or they go away.
00:52:22.000 It's not like this is the new normal, I don't think.
00:52:25.000 If it's just like this, then great.
00:52:27.000 We don't need any more guns.
00:52:28.000 Basically, you know, it's like we've got a good amount of guns.
00:52:32.000 It's not like everybody needs to go out and get a gun who never considered it before.
00:52:36.000 But if it gets crazy, then you should have a gun, right?
00:52:39.000 Like, if you don't want to have a gun, I don't think you should have to have a gun.
00:52:42.000 But what are you going to do if the whole thing completely falls apart?
00:52:46.000 Imagine this scenario.
00:52:47.000 How would you feel?
00:52:49.000 If there's only a few people in your neighborhood with guns, and there's people that were coming in and robbing, killing people, because we had gone all walking dead, because the power had been off from the asteroid shower for six months, there's no way to even tell these people are coming.
00:53:02.000 But there's only two people in your block with guns.
00:53:06.000 But there's 30 houses.
00:53:08.000 Well, what the fuck are you gonna do?
00:53:09.000 You only have two guns, and there's 30. That's not good.
00:53:13.000 See, that's what people are scared of.
00:53:14.000 What people are scared of, and maybe they're wrong, but the preppers right now are the ones laughing their asses off.
00:53:19.000 The people with, you know, fucking jarred peaches and shit, those people that you see on TV with their own well, they're laughing right now.
00:53:26.000 They're laughing.
00:53:27.000 They're hoping it deteriorates even further.
00:53:30.000 Because they could take over.
00:53:31.000 They could be the king.
00:53:33.000 Yeah.
00:53:34.000 I wish I had a gun right now.
00:53:37.000 I have, like, a bunch of fake guns.
00:53:40.000 You never thought about having a gun before.
00:53:43.000 Yeah.
00:53:44.000 I mean, I'm one of those guys, though, that, you know, I didn't grow up with guns, so they're kind of intimidating.
00:53:50.000 And I feel like I'm somebody that one night would be wasted and be like, let me make a funny YouTube video.
00:53:55.000 Oh, no.
00:53:56.000 There are a lot of dorks who do that, flash guns on Twitch and wind up shooting a monitor.
00:54:00.000 It's like trusting yourself, you know?
00:54:01.000 It's like...
00:54:02.000 It's just, you know, the problem is you can just buy a gun if you're not a criminal, right?
00:54:07.000 If you want to drive a car, you've got to take a test.
00:54:10.000 But a car is not specifically designed to kill someone.
00:54:13.000 It can kill someone accidentally.
00:54:16.000 It's not specifically designed to kill someone.
00:54:18.000 A gun is specifically designed to kill, and you don't even have to fucking show you know how to use it.
00:54:23.000 Right.
00:54:24.000 That worries me, too, because that line by my house was a lot of middle-aged Karens.
00:54:29.000 Like, oh, God.
00:54:30.000 Did they train you there?
00:54:32.000 I don't even know the process.
00:54:33.000 It seems like you should go through a training gun course.
00:54:36.000 You definitely should.
00:54:38.000 And better not pull a prank on Karen.
00:54:39.000 Right.
00:54:40.000 Karen might be locked and loaded on 18 Adderalls.
00:54:41.000 I want to talk to the fucking manager.
00:54:45.000 You know?
00:54:47.000 Pissing in her carpet because she's too scared to get up.
00:54:49.000 She's sure that that sound is a serial killer making its way up her stairs.
00:54:56.000 You know, it's her cousin coming to check in on her.
00:54:58.000 That kind of stuff happens.
00:55:00.000 Yeah.
00:55:01.000 People are nuts, man.
00:55:02.000 And you can just get a gun.
00:55:04.000 If you're not a criminal...
00:55:06.000 You don't have mental health problems, you can just get a gun.
00:55:09.000 And you definitely should know how to use it.
00:55:12.000 And it's just, there's two schools of thought.
00:55:15.000 The Texas school of thought is a well-armed society, it's a polite society.
00:55:19.000 And guess what?
00:55:20.000 They're right in a lot of ways.
00:55:22.000 That's right too.
00:55:23.000 Another school of thought is, wouldn't it be great if no one had a gun?
00:55:26.000 And you never had to worry about getting shot.
00:55:28.000 Yup, yup, that's good too.
00:55:31.000 Also, wouldn't it be great if the government was awesome and you knew they would never turn tyrannical on you?
00:55:36.000 Yeah, that'd be good.
00:55:37.000 Yeah, that'd be good.
00:55:38.000 But that's not true, right?
00:55:39.000 Because the government's made it out of people and look at China.
00:55:41.000 You know what?
00:55:42.000 What's happening in China happening here, right?
00:55:44.000 We all agree to that.
00:55:46.000 We don't want to live under a military dictatorship.
00:55:48.000 I don't care how good it looks.
00:55:49.000 That sounds terrible for us.
00:55:51.000 We don't want that.
00:55:51.000 So we know that's real.
00:55:53.000 It's happening right now.
00:55:54.000 Other people trapped in a country.
00:55:56.000 They can't even use a real internet, right?
00:55:59.000 They can't even get on Twitter.
00:56:01.000 They can't get on Facebook.
00:56:03.000 Brian Callen did a movie there.
00:56:04.000 They took his phone away.
00:56:05.000 They gave him a new phone with Chinese social media on it.
00:56:09.000 They're like, you could use this.
00:56:10.000 That's it.
00:56:12.000 They wouldn't let him on Twitter.
00:56:13.000 He couldn't go on Instagram.
00:56:15.000 Yeah.
00:56:16.000 He needs a VPN. You can't work.
00:56:18.000 It doesn't work.
00:56:19.000 They block them over there.
00:56:21.000 They block everything over there.
00:56:22.000 Apparently, some VPNs work in Hong Kong.
00:56:25.000 But Hong Kong's not, you know, it's sort of a different situation than mainland China.
00:56:30.000 Bro, it's weird that people can live the way those Chinese people are under the fist of a government that, like, pulls people out of...
00:56:39.000 Did you see those people that got dragged away because they tested positive for Corona?
00:56:43.000 Where are those people going?
00:56:45.000 Landfill?
00:56:46.000 Yeah, who the fuck knows, man?
00:56:48.000 That's happening at the same time as us.
00:56:52.000 As we have so much freedom that people are looking for shit to get upset about.
00:56:58.000 Taking some of Trump, and Trump no doubt has said ridiculous shit.
00:57:02.000 That's not my point.
00:57:03.000 It's not that he's infallible and he's always right.
00:57:06.000 It's that you're wasting time playing gotcha with the President of the United States in the middle of a pandemic.
00:57:15.000 Yeah, he's going to say dumb shit.
00:57:17.000 Get used to it.
00:57:18.000 But don't harp on that.
00:57:20.000 Let's figure out what the fuck needs to be done.
00:57:23.000 That's what we need to figure out.
00:57:25.000 And I don't think anybody knows.
00:57:27.000 They're waiting in New York for it to peak.
00:57:30.000 And so that's why they wanted all those ventilators.
00:57:33.000 And they're going to set up some things in parks and shit.
00:57:36.000 In the Javits Center, apparently.
00:57:38.000 They're going to set up some sort of temporary hospital unit.
00:57:43.000 This is crazy, man.
00:57:45.000 It's really cool seeing all the manufacturing plants like Tesla and stuff making ventilators and converting their factories to make hand sanitizers and stuff like that.
00:57:53.000 People who know how to make masks and shit.
00:57:55.000 Printing masks.
00:57:57.000 Jordy's brother, our friend Jordy...
00:57:59.000 From Comedy Central?
00:58:00.000 Yeah.
00:58:01.000 I think it was Jordy.
00:58:02.000 His brother is the one printing out the masks.
00:58:05.000 That's very cool.
00:58:06.000 There's quite a few companies that are doing that.
00:58:07.000 That's very cool.
00:58:08.000 Yeah.
00:58:09.000 Yeah, it's...
00:58:10.000 Phew.
00:58:11.000 Bro.
00:58:13.000 Weird times.
00:58:14.000 To put it mildly, right?
00:58:16.000 Yeah.
00:58:16.000 Nothing feels normal.
00:58:17.000 You wake up in the morning like, how am I supposed to feel?
00:58:19.000 Wake up in the morning?
00:58:20.000 I mean, now it's like, I go tomorrow, I'm like, okay, nothing to do tomorrow at all.
00:58:25.000 Well, I guess I could just stay up all night and, you know, go to sleep when I want to.
00:58:29.000 I went to bed at like nine in the morning.
00:58:31.000 I just played VR all night and ate mushrooms.
00:58:35.000 Right now, eating mushrooms is a little too crazy, though.
00:58:39.000 Halfway through, I was like, this is where you're going and thinking.
00:58:43.000 It was a little rough.
00:58:45.000 We just have to know that now we know that this can happen.
00:58:50.000 Now we know.
00:58:51.000 We didn't know.
00:58:53.000 We weren't getting all the information.
00:58:56.000 But just...
00:58:58.000 The things that also are deadly, that also affect so many people, like that list that I read off.
00:59:04.000 Is that right?
00:59:05.000 Is any of that shit I read right?
00:59:06.000 What do you think?
00:59:08.000 It seems like it would be.
00:59:09.000 I mean, nowadays, you get all these doctor lists on Facebook, you never know what's real and what's not.
00:59:14.000 This is from a friend of mine who's a legitimate doctor.
00:59:18.000 Is that correct?
00:59:19.000 Are those numbers correct?
00:59:20.000 We should probably say.
00:59:22.000 Let's Google the numbers again.
00:59:25.000 So what did I say?
00:59:26.000 Let's start off with the first one.
00:59:28.000 The first one was Michael Yeo apparently put out a video today.
00:59:32.000 Oh, did he?
00:59:33.000 Yeah.
00:59:34.000 He's back.
00:59:36.000 Okay, let's look at this one, the 2017-2018 H2N3 virus pandemic that killed 61,000 Americans.
00:59:44.000 I was looking that up.
00:59:45.000 The hardest part with that right now is those numbers have been accumulated over a year plus, and we only have had a month or whatever to collect these numbers right now.
00:59:54.000 Yeah, I mean, it even says 2017-2018.
00:59:57.000 But over a year, it killed 61,000 people.
01:00:02.000 Now the other one was the big one at the end.
01:00:05.000 The flu for this year, for 2020. Cases reported 45 million.
01:00:13.000 Hospitalizations 415,000.
01:00:16.000 Deaths 48,000.
01:00:19.000 That's worldwide?
01:00:20.000 No, it's the United States.
01:00:21.000 Oh really?
01:00:22.000 Yeah.
01:00:23.000 Wow.
01:00:24.000 I know.
01:00:24.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:00:25.000 I haven't even heard about the flu this year.
01:00:27.000 Well, that's the thing.
01:00:28.000 It's like, it's not sexy, because it happens every year.
01:00:31.000 Right.
01:00:32.000 You know, it's like the Sky Monster.
01:00:33.000 If the Sky Monster never appeared before, and then one day, the first tornado hit and tore apart Nashville, we'd be like, what in the fuck?
01:00:41.000 God's mad at us.
01:00:42.000 Right?
01:00:43.000 That's how they used to feel back in the...
01:00:44.000 Just one person's case.
01:00:45.000 I remember last week I read someone that got tested for the flu and they tested positive and then weeks later got tested for the COVID-19 and then tested positive for that.
01:00:54.000 But they weren't tested for COVID at the time.
01:00:56.000 They were tested for the flu because they didn't have a test.
01:00:58.000 Right.
01:00:58.000 So there could be a lot of people that tested positive for the flu maybe that never had a COVID-19 test.
01:01:04.000 Yeah, could be.
01:01:06.000 Yeah, I mean...
01:01:10.000 I guess it depends on whether or not they have the tests available in different places, too, right?
01:01:15.000 I'm just now reading, too.
01:01:16.000 There's a new test that just got made today that's faster results.
01:01:20.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:01:20.000 There's a five-minute test.
01:01:22.000 It's like an easy-bake oven of testing.
01:01:24.000 Jamie, what are we going to do if you test positive?
01:01:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:26.000 I don't know.
01:01:27.000 Yeah, you're in contact, bro.
01:01:29.000 I already have it, then.
01:01:31.000 Could be.
01:01:32.000 Because I'm testing positive doesn't mean...
01:01:33.000 Right, could be.
01:01:35.000 You're out there spreading it.
01:01:37.000 Carrier.
01:01:37.000 Get out of here!
01:01:38.000 Son of a bitch.
01:01:39.000 Don't pet my dog, you fuck.
01:01:41.000 Oh, that's too late.
01:01:42.000 I didn't even think of that.
01:01:44.000 They sent the email out, what was yesterday?
01:01:46.000 Saturday, I guess?
01:01:48.000 It's too late.
01:01:49.000 When the fuck did they get it?
01:01:50.000 That's when they got it to the hospital and called the apartment building and said, hey, you might want to let everybody know.
01:01:54.000 Are you washing your hands a lot?
01:01:55.000 You guys doing the whole thing?
01:01:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:57.000 I'm washing the shit out of my hands.
01:01:58.000 My hands are annoyed at me.
01:02:00.000 I'm like, what are you doing?
01:02:01.000 I'm lucky I got some hand sanitizer.
01:02:04.000 Oh, before the crash?
01:02:06.000 Right before it happened, the crash, I was opening up for Tom Green in San Diego.
01:02:10.000 And Tom Green was the first person that I knew that was kind of like panicking a little.
01:02:15.000 He's like, I just bought a crate of Lysol, mini Lysols, and he was spraying the microphone down on stage.
01:02:20.000 And I was like, he's taking a little overboard.
01:02:24.000 Literally like a week later, everyone's doing that.
01:02:27.000 Tom Green ahead of the curve.
01:02:28.000 Yeah.
01:02:28.000 Yeah.
01:02:31.000 Fuck.
01:02:31.000 It's spooky, dude.
01:02:34.000 Who was it that had a friend?
01:02:36.000 Was it Tom Papa, whose friend was warning him long in advance?
01:02:40.000 No, it wasn't Tom Papa.
01:02:42.000 It was Bert Kreischer.
01:02:43.000 Bert Kreischer had a friend who was warning him way in advance, listen, you need to isolate, you need to get your family out, and he was like, what?
01:02:49.000 It was Bert, right?
01:02:50.000 Put your shirt on.
01:02:51.000 Yeah, take your shirt on, put your shirt back on.
01:02:55.000 You need to isolate quickly, get away from everybody, because it's going to spread right through America.
01:03:00.000 And he was like, what?
01:03:00.000 And this was apparently in February.
01:03:02.000 And he was like, this lady's crazy.
01:03:04.000 And then he texted her in the beginning of March when it was on and popping.
01:03:08.000 He's like, you're right.
01:03:11.000 My point about showing those numbers was not to diminish the impact of this current pandemic.
01:03:17.000 It was just to highlight the fact that...
01:03:21.000 We live in a war zone.
01:03:22.000 We live in a virus war zone that takes out thousands of people every year in this country.
01:03:29.000 And I don't think most of us are really keeping our eye on that.
01:03:33.000 You know?
01:03:34.000 Like, you hear about deaths by the flu and, you know, they're never shocking.
01:03:39.000 Deaths by some new thing, for some reason, even if it's the same number of deaths, or less even, right?
01:03:45.000 So far, less.
01:03:46.000 Freak us the fuck out.
01:03:48.000 Seems like it's happening more, though, like if you go on TMZ, it's like somebody dies every day, like this old philosopher or this old poet or this old musician.
01:03:57.000 You never hear that in the past, like, oh, he died of the flu, that guy died of the flu, that guy died of the flu.
01:04:02.000 Here we go.
01:04:02.000 Jimmy just pulled something up.
01:04:03.000 A total of 19,543 laboratory-confirmed influenza-associated hospitalizations were reported by FluServe-Net sites between October 2019 and March 21, 2020. 41,172.1% were associated with influenza A virus.
01:04:26.000 What's that?
01:04:26.000 That's like 14,000.
01:04:27.000 14,000?
01:04:28.000 What did I say?
01:04:29.000 41. Oh, whoops.
01:04:30.000 What am I, dyslexic?
01:04:32.000 Influenza, okay, 5,335, 27.3% with influenza B. That's true too, right?
01:04:39.000 If you get an influenza A shot and it's influenza B, you might catch it anyway.
01:04:45.000 That's annoying.
01:04:46.000 So that's a lot of people, right?
01:04:48.000 So we got 19,500 and 5,300 and 14,100.
01:04:58.000 My theory is that you were born sucking your thumb.
01:05:01.000 You were supposed to suck your thumb your whole life, and it was supposed to keep your immune system strong so that it would fight all day soon.
01:05:06.000 Look at the hospitalization rate.
01:05:08.000 It was 67.3 per 100,000 population, which is higher than all recent seasons.
01:05:18.000 Except for the 2017-2018 season, rates in children 0-4 years old and adults 18-49 are now the highest CDC has on record for these age groups, surpassing the rate reported during the 2009 H1N1 pandemic.
01:05:34.000 Hospitalization rates for school-aged children are higher than any recent regular season, but lower than rates during the pandemic.
01:05:41.000 So what happened in 2009 when the H1N1 kicked in and killed all those people?
01:05:46.000 They didn't shut anything down.
01:05:47.000 I think what I've been hearing is after a thousand people died is when things started changing.
01:05:52.000 I don't really remember what was changing back then.
01:05:55.000 I don't either.
01:05:56.000 Do you remember?
01:05:57.000 No.
01:05:58.000 We should talk to Bird again.
01:05:59.000 Bird had it.
01:06:00.000 He had the H1N1. He did?
01:06:02.000 Yeah, he did.
01:06:03.000 Yeah, he said it was the sickest he's ever been in his life.
01:06:06.000 And it was 2009 when it was all going down.
01:06:09.000 And he said he couldn't sleep.
01:06:11.000 He was so uncomfortable.
01:06:12.000 He was in just constant pain and aching.
01:06:14.000 He said he never felt sicker ever in his life.
01:06:17.000 And that killed a lot of people.
01:06:19.000 I've had a flu like that before, where, you know, you're just puking, shitting, you can't hold anything in, you're sweating, you're waking up, you know.
01:06:27.000 Was that 2009?
01:06:28.000 I don't think it was.
01:06:29.000 I feel like it was like five years ago or something like that, six years ago.
01:06:32.000 They can get you.
01:06:32.000 They can get you.
01:06:34.000 I hope another thing that comes out of here is people take their fucking immune system more seriously.
01:06:39.000 Support your immune system, you know?
01:06:41.000 I mean, if this makes a big, just a little shift in the number of people that get healthy, little shift in the number of people that start taking vitamins and exercising and, you know, just do something, man, something.
01:06:53.000 Put a heavy backpack on.
01:06:55.000 Go for a walk.
01:06:55.000 Do something.
01:06:56.000 Listen to the podcast.
01:06:58.000 Oh, I'm listening to this Aaron Hernandez podcast.
01:07:01.000 Wondery has this podcast called Gladiator about Aaron Hernandez.
01:07:04.000 Holy shit.
01:07:06.000 First of all, that's a great podcast.
01:07:07.000 You ever listen to Wondery?
01:07:09.000 They know what they're doing, man.
01:07:11.000 It's like really good editing and sound editing, and they put depth to it with all these different sound effects and stuff and different people's interviews and discussions, people that knew Aaron Hernandez.
01:07:22.000 Holy fuck, what a crazy story.
01:07:25.000 You watched the tiger thing, obviously.
01:07:27.000 I have only watched one part of one episode.
01:07:29.000 I'm saving it.
01:07:30.000 I'm surprised.
01:07:31.000 I know.
01:07:31.000 I went through all episodes in one sitting last night.
01:07:34.000 You've got to understand, I have gone down so many tiger rabbit holes, I'm terrified to start another one.
01:07:40.000 You remember that whole bit that I had about Texas and tigers from Triggered?
01:07:44.000 Dude, I went on a rabbit hole of tiger owners and people that own tigers in their backyard because of that.
01:07:49.000 That's why I think you're going to love it.
01:07:50.000 You love the Wild West.
01:07:51.000 But I wrote that bit already.
01:07:53.000 Yeah, I know.
01:07:53.000 That bit's done.
01:07:54.000 I know, but you've got to see this.
01:07:56.000 There's so many twists and turns that you're like, this is not real life.
01:08:00.000 This didn't happen.
01:08:02.000 But it did.
01:08:02.000 Yeah.
01:08:04.000 Listen, I have all the faith in the world that white trash people could be unbelievable.
01:08:08.000 Oh, God.
01:08:09.000 Yeah, but there's so much more to it that's like insane that we haven't heard of this guy before.
01:08:15.000 I know, right?
01:08:17.000 He also had an internet show during all this, like an Alex Jones type internet show.
01:08:22.000 I feel like I would have seen it because it was like Joe TV. And I'm like, of course, back in the day.
01:08:26.000 Joe Exotic TV, right?
01:08:27.000 Is that what it is?
01:08:28.000 Yeah.
01:08:28.000 Now, did he have it on YouTube?
01:08:30.000 Or did he only have it on his website?
01:08:31.000 I think he had it on Ustream back in the day like we did.
01:08:33.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:08:34.000 How did we not see this?
01:08:36.000 I could be wrong.
01:08:39.000 Who didn't care that much back then about people living with tigers?
01:08:44.000 2011. You might have already seen some of this stuff and not known it.
01:08:47.000 Louis Theroux?
01:08:48.000 Yeah, he did a documentary with Joe Exotic.
01:08:50.000 Oh, did Joe Exotic have his legs back then or no?
01:08:52.000 Joe had his legs the whole time.
01:08:53.000 That was one of the guys that worked for him.
01:08:55.000 He lost his legs.
01:08:57.000 He does a whole hour-long full documentary with him.
01:09:00.000 Oh, no shit.
01:09:01.000 I'd like to see that.
01:09:03.000 Yeah, I got obsessed with him last night.
01:09:04.000 I just added him on Instagram, looking back at all the photos.
01:09:09.000 Louis Theroux is the shit.
01:09:11.000 His documentaries are so good.
01:09:13.000 He's absolutely one of my favorites because he's got this style of talking to people that eventually annoys them into yelling at him.
01:09:21.000 Whether it's the Westboro Baptist Church or my favorite one was this...
01:09:28.000 He was at this wild game park in Africa where people go over there and shoot rhinos.
01:09:34.000 They pay X amount for that and Y amount for this.
01:09:39.000 He interviews these people in these wild game parks and he stays there for like three weeks and eventually just annoys this guy to the point where the guy snaps and has this rant about Africa.
01:09:50.000 About the only way that these animals are ever going to survive is if there were something.
01:09:53.000 He's like, Africa is fucked.
01:09:55.000 And the way he was saying it to him was like this really intense speech that he gave to Theroux.
01:10:00.000 Like all Theroux's annoying him for all those days and standing by him.
01:10:06.000 So you're about to feed the tiger?
01:10:08.000 Oh God.
01:10:09.000 It wasn't tigers, but he had lions.
01:10:11.000 And they were throwing like a dead cow.
01:10:13.000 And they threw it overboard.
01:10:15.000 They were throwing these chunks over the fence.
01:10:16.000 And these lions would just tear it apart.
01:10:18.000 And I'm like, oh my god.
01:10:20.000 And he's there, standing there watching this through like two fences.
01:10:23.000 Within there's a pickup truck.
01:10:24.000 And you look in these things' eyes.
01:10:26.000 They look fucking fucking...
01:10:28.000 They look ferocious and so angry.
01:10:30.000 They look so angry that they're in that cage and so angry that they have to get their food this way.
01:10:36.000 And he was just pestering this dude, pestering him.
01:10:39.000 It's great.
01:10:40.000 It's one of my favorite documentaries ever on how...
01:10:46.000 Perplexing that situation is in Africa.
01:10:48.000 They have more animals there than ever.
01:10:50.000 Like all their different animals that were on the verge of extinction are now thriving, but they're thriving because they're valuable and people go over there to shoot them.
01:10:59.000 So it's like, oh, what do you make of that?
01:11:05.000 That's people.
01:11:06.000 That's people.
01:11:07.000 We're so messy.
01:11:08.000 We never do anything like these animals were on the verge of extinction, but now, due to the generous donations of the millions of people in the world, these animals are healthy and they're thriving in numbers greater than we've ever seen before.
01:11:22.000 We could just go out in a car and watch these lions take out these gazelles.
01:11:26.000 There's no way they'd pay for it that way.
01:11:29.000 If you want to make real money, You gotta make it valuable for people to go over there and shoot those things and eat them.
01:11:36.000 That's just fucked.
01:11:37.000 It's kind of crazy.
01:11:38.000 Because it's the only way that it works.
01:11:42.000 Like, we're so selfish.
01:11:46.000 But on the other hand, I heard kudu meat is delicious.
01:11:49.000 Really?
01:11:50.000 Yeah, I heard it's the best.
01:11:51.000 If you want to go shoot a kudu, you go over there with your friends, enjoy nice cooked meals.
01:11:56.000 There's kudu everywhere.
01:11:58.000 You go out, you shoot one, take a picture with it.
01:12:01.000 Hey, we had a good time in Africa.
01:12:02.000 You eat it.
01:12:03.000 Yeah, we ate it.
01:12:03.000 It was awesome.
01:12:04.000 Brought a bunch of it back, froze it.
01:12:08.000 I mean, you're eating burgers anyway.
01:12:10.000 Isn't it better to just go out there and shoot a kudu with a rifle and have a crazy story behind it and a memory that you'll never forget?
01:12:16.000 And also respect...
01:12:18.000 But we don't think about it that way.
01:12:20.000 We think, goddammit, they're only worth something if you could shoot at them.
01:12:23.000 It would be nice if it was both.
01:12:25.000 Maybe there's competing conservation efforts.
01:12:29.000 Like, one conservation effort, like the people that want no animals getting shot.
01:12:34.000 Like, you guys can have this ranch.
01:12:36.000 Let's see how you do.
01:12:37.000 And then the people that want to pay to shoot animals have the other ranch, and that ranch has a fuckload of money.
01:12:45.000 Which one's going to do better?
01:12:46.000 The one that operates on donations or the one where people fly from Cincinnati to shoot a kudu?
01:12:53.000 I bet the one where they fly and they pay to shoot a kudu, I bet that one does better.
01:12:58.000 A lot of similarities with this tiger movie, man.
01:13:00.000 What you just said.
01:13:02.000 Well, Texas, I mean, it's another place where Texas is like, they don't give a fuck.
01:13:07.000 That's a whole different kind of America.
01:13:09.000 Remember Ohio when they had to change that law?
01:13:12.000 I think it was Zanesville where he let all his animals out and there's just tigers.
01:13:17.000 Yeah, we watched that.
01:13:19.000 We watched clips of that in the Joe Exotic, the Tiger King, when you see the beginning of it.
01:13:25.000 That's really disturbing to see all those animals, those cops had to shoot.
01:13:28.000 Yeah.
01:13:29.000 Virtual reality hunting is probably going to be the future, actually.
01:13:31.000 Did you ever see Tyson when he was explaining to me why he got a tiger?
01:13:37.000 I love Tyson, man.
01:13:38.000 Have you been listening to his podcast?
01:13:39.000 He's great.
01:13:40.000 He's great.
01:13:41.000 He's so genuine.
01:13:42.000 He's so genuine.
01:13:43.000 That's what we all want.
01:13:45.000 Whether we agree with you or not agree with you, we want you to be there for real.
01:13:50.000 Maybe you're making mistakes.
01:13:51.000 Maybe you're looking at things the wrong way.
01:13:53.000 But I can't listen unless I know that you're really there.
01:13:57.000 Mike Tyson is really there.
01:13:59.000 When he's talking about anything, he's not bullshitting you.
01:14:02.000 He's not an actor putting on a facade.
01:14:05.000 He's Mike Tyson.
01:14:07.000 And there's something about that man that Especially in like these fucked up times where everything is confusing It's very refreshing to see someone's authentic take on the world and Be honest about their journey in life and whose journey in life has been more strange and out of the ordinary and spectacular than Mike fucking Tyson I mean,
01:14:34.000 Mike Tyson has had one of the most extraordinary lives a human being has ever had.
01:14:39.000 Ever.
01:14:40.000 You know?
01:14:41.000 And people, they might try to diminish that in some way because he's had some run-ins with the law or because of the nature of the way he became famous by being the most violent man on the planet.
01:14:54.000 You know, the best heavyweight boxer of his era.
01:14:57.000 But to get to be someone like he is, you have to have Some extraordinary horsepower inside your will.
01:15:08.000 Like your will is a supercharged engine.
01:15:10.000 There's something about that guy's will in his mind.
01:15:13.000 He might not be the most articulate, most well-read, most studied man on earth.
01:15:23.000 He's not that.
01:15:25.000 But he's extraordinary.
01:15:27.000 You have to be extraordinary to do what he did.
01:15:31.000 There's no way around it.
01:15:33.000 He was so much better than anybody else when he was coming up.
01:15:37.000 And you can only maintain that kind of power and that kind of ferocity for a certain amount of time.
01:15:43.000 I feel like a person at that kind of pace that he was at, you can't really maintain that very long.
01:15:48.000 He was such a destroyer.
01:15:50.000 But if you go back and watch him knocking out Michael Spinks and knocking out Marvis Frazier and just smashing Larry Holmes when Larry Holmes was still...
01:15:59.000 I think Larry Holmes was in his 30s.
01:16:00.000 He was still...
01:16:01.000 I mean, it wasn't in his prime, but he was still Larry fucking Holmes.
01:16:04.000 He smashed everybody.
01:16:05.000 I miss those days of, like, watching TV, the old Tyson fights.
01:16:09.000 That was like a Super Bowl.
01:16:10.000 Every time, like, you know, just getting around.
01:16:11.000 It was a family affair.
01:16:13.000 You get the whole family around.
01:16:14.000 I know.
01:16:15.000 Everyone would get together.
01:16:17.000 You'd get mad if he was going to fight someone who was going to be, like, 15 seconds.
01:16:20.000 Like, fucking Bruce Seldon.
01:16:21.000 Come on, man.
01:16:23.000 You get mad.
01:16:24.000 Did you see this little clip of him before the Fury-Wilder fight?
01:16:27.000 No.
01:16:28.000 Where he meets Chad Johnson in the back of the arena.
01:16:30.000 Oh, no shit.
01:16:31.000 Alright, watch what the interaction, why this went big is because the interaction when he notices the cameraman behind Chad Johnson.
01:16:37.000 Hey, are we going to get pulled?
01:16:38.000 I'm not going to play the whole thing.
01:16:39.000 It's only like 10 seconds.
01:16:41.000 Oh, okay.
01:16:41.000 It went pretty viral though, so it's like newsworthy-ish.
01:16:44.000 What went viral about it?
01:16:45.000 Watch his mic.
01:16:45.000 Okay, here we go.
01:16:56.000 That dude's filming and he's like, what you doing with that phone?
01:16:59.000 He got right in his face!
01:17:00.000 Shit his pants, probably.
01:17:02.000 Oh, how would you not shit your pants?
01:17:04.000 Yeah, Mike Tyson's tired of people filming him.
01:17:07.000 I found him to be very sincere.
01:17:10.000 I really enjoy his company.
01:17:11.000 I enjoyed talking to him before the show.
01:17:15.000 It's kind of surreal.
01:17:16.000 I met him at the UFC a few years back.
01:17:20.000 I got a photo with him.
01:17:22.000 And he's like, you're that dude who smokes all that weed!
01:17:26.000 And I started laughing.
01:17:27.000 I went, what's up, man?
01:17:29.000 Mike Tyson knowing who I was was just strange.
01:17:32.000 Him wearing that biker's jacket, the old black classic biker's jacket.
01:17:36.000 Yeah, old school.
01:17:37.000 Kind of like, that looks cool.
01:17:38.000 I want to get back to it.
01:17:39.000 Yeah, he's an interesting guy, man, for sure.
01:17:41.000 I love that he's got his podcast.
01:17:43.000 He was going to, they asked me to be on it through Skype.
01:17:47.000 I'm just going to wait.
01:17:48.000 I want to be there in person, man.
01:17:50.000 Where's he recorded at?
01:17:51.000 Wait until that shit blows over and then I'll go visit.
01:17:54.000 Look at that.
01:17:54.000 He's cool.
01:17:55.000 Yeah, he's great, man.
01:17:57.000 Yeah, he's getting really good at this.
01:18:00.000 Him and Eminem.
01:18:01.000 Oh shit, that's Eminem.
01:18:02.000 Yeah.
01:18:04.000 Yeah, very interesting.
01:18:06.000 How did Eminem get a black beard?
01:18:07.000 What happened?
01:18:08.000 Didn't he used to have blonde hair?
01:18:09.000 He dyed his hair.
01:18:10.000 He dyed everything?
01:18:11.000 His face hair?
01:18:11.000 I don't think he had face hair.
01:18:12.000 No, I think he bleached his hair when it was blonde, right?
01:18:15.000 Is that what it is?
01:18:15.000 Yeah.
01:18:16.000 So that's his real hair color?
01:18:17.000 Yeah.
01:18:18.000 That or he probably does what I do, put a little Just For Men on it.
01:18:21.000 In the beard?
01:18:22.000 Yeah, that shit can fuck your face up, man.
01:18:24.000 I did a rabbit hole one day on the Just For Men, and I saw this guy who had his face burned.
01:18:30.000 Yeah, it like burns, like chemical burns on his face from, maybe it wasn't Just For Men, but some kind of beard.
01:18:36.000 It was hair dye, probably.
01:18:37.000 We'll find out.
01:18:37.000 You gotta wash it out, I can't just leave it.
01:18:38.000 Yeah, Just For Men.
01:18:39.000 Well, he wanted it really dark.
01:18:40.000 Yeah.
01:18:41.000 He wanted to really freak people out.
01:18:42.000 See, but Google like hair, dye, face burn.
01:18:46.000 I mean, it's fucking chemical, man.
01:18:48.000 I shit my head last night because of Greg Fitzsimmons, man.
01:18:51.000 Greg got rid of the sides.
01:18:53.000 I needed a haircut.
01:18:54.000 It's going to be a month until I get a haircut.
01:18:56.000 Yeah, there's something about the sides that hold you back.
01:18:58.000 If you're a bald man with the sides, unless you're doing a lot of acid.
01:19:01.000 Thinking about this, you're supposed to test any hair dye on your skin just to make sure you don't have any sort of bad reactions to it.
01:19:08.000 Bro, who's reading that?
01:19:09.000 No one's reading that.
01:19:10.000 You almost have to.
01:19:11.000 I know, but dudes don't read.
01:19:14.000 When I bleached my hair, you know, I used to bleach my hair like once a year, there'd be burns, there'd be scabs in my hair.
01:19:20.000 I would just peel out scabs because it just fried my head.
01:19:23.000 Well, they said that there's a link that they're exploring between women dying their hair and breast cancer.
01:19:31.000 Have you read this?
01:19:32.000 Yeah.
01:19:33.000 There's always a link of something.
01:19:34.000 That's a scary link, though, man.
01:19:36.000 But if you think about it, if a woman is dying her hair on a regular basis, how often do chicks dye their hair?
01:19:42.000 Every two months?
01:19:43.000 Because it's gray.
01:19:44.000 Imagine if you take in poison every two months.
01:19:46.000 Because your skin is, you know, the dermis of your skin, the epidermis.
01:19:50.000 Your skin absorbs all kinds of stuff.
01:19:53.000 I mean, your skin absorbs magnesium through the float tank.
01:19:56.000 This study says it's for permanent hair dye and chemical hair straighteners.
01:20:00.000 So it's not quite the same as, like, what most people use.
01:20:02.000 Most people use, like, a semi-permanent.
01:20:04.000 What is for permanent hair dye?
01:20:05.000 The researchers said women who use permanent hair dye and chemical hair straighteners have a higher risk for breast cancer.
01:20:11.000 Oh, okay.
01:20:11.000 So it's not the temporary hair dye that most gals get?
01:20:14.000 Right.
01:20:14.000 So all these chicks going gray need to cut it out.
01:20:18.000 I'd like it if you pretend you're not aging, please.
01:20:20.000 Yeah.
01:20:20.000 Go back.
01:20:21.000 What would you rather have, though?
01:20:22.000 A woman that had long gray hair or just shaved her head?
01:20:26.000 Listen, man.
01:20:27.000 I don't want to answer these questions.
01:20:29.000 However, experts say women shouldn't give up hair products based on this study alone.
01:20:34.000 What experts say?
01:20:36.000 Who the fucking...
01:20:36.000 I hate when they say that.
01:20:38.000 Experts say.
01:20:39.000 Experts in what?
01:20:40.000 Well, I'm really good at Parcheesi.
01:20:41.000 National Institute of Health?
01:20:43.000 Yeah.
01:20:43.000 What do they know?
01:20:45.000 Nothing, right?
01:20:47.000 I don't know.
01:20:48.000 Don't trust anybody, man.
01:20:49.000 I'm going Eddie Bravo on this bitch.
01:20:52.000 They're all lying.
01:20:53.000 Liars!
01:20:53.000 They're all in bed with the fucking dye company.
01:20:56.000 For chicks, the head shave is a scary move.
01:21:00.000 Yeah.
01:21:00.000 It's a scary move.
01:21:01.000 Some gangster gals have done that during isolation.
01:21:05.000 They've shaved their fucking heads.
01:21:07.000 Gone with a crew cut.
01:21:08.000 Start wearing wigs.
01:21:09.000 Girls can wear wigs, man.
01:21:11.000 Yeah.
01:21:11.000 Yeah.
01:21:12.000 Girls can wear wigs.
01:21:13.000 Guys cannot.
01:21:14.000 Nope.
01:21:14.000 Nope.
01:21:15.000 I got a pretty good wig right now.
01:21:17.000 Girls can do whatever they want.
01:21:18.000 We'll still fuck them.
01:21:19.000 Imagine if guys had fake tits.
01:21:20.000 Girls would be like, what are you doing?
01:21:22.000 Those aren't even real muscles.
01:21:24.000 They're way more picky than we are.
01:21:26.000 If they have fake boobs, we're like, awesome.
01:21:28.000 We don't even care if they're fake.
01:21:29.000 We know they're fake.
01:21:30.000 It means nothing.
01:21:31.000 It's not like we need to be tricked.
01:21:33.000 We're so stupid, we're like, oh, look, you got water bag.
01:21:36.000 Make them poke out more and like better.
01:21:40.000 We like the fact that they look fake as fuck.
01:21:43.000 It's like there's a shape burned into our DNA, and that shape is plump tits.
01:21:49.000 And whatever you need to do to get to that, But if a guy had some plastic rod in his cock that stretched it out and made it harder, if women found out about that, they'd be like, Ew!
01:22:04.000 Yuck!
01:22:07.000 Yeah.
01:22:08.000 Dudes are not allowed to have fake hogs.
01:22:13.000 Would a woman prefer anything fake on a guy?
01:22:16.000 Do they like anything at all?
01:22:18.000 I'm sure some women...
01:22:20.000 Yeah, attention spam.
01:22:21.000 They want you to pretend.
01:22:23.000 They want you to pretend you give a fuck about their dumb stories.
01:22:26.000 You gotta sit there, oh, and then she said that, huh?
01:22:29.000 That's what some women like.
01:22:31.000 And some women don't even like that.
01:22:32.000 See?
01:22:33.000 Can't generalize.
01:22:34.000 Don't be a sexist pig, Jamie.
01:22:37.000 So embarrassing to be on this podcast and you say something so sexist.
01:22:44.000 There's dudes that'll do that.
01:22:45.000 They'll throw you right under the bus.
01:22:46.000 Be very careful of those people.
01:22:48.000 Very careful of those gender traitors.
01:22:51.000 Those guys who they know you're fucking around, they'll throw you in front of the bus.
01:22:55.000 Right in front of the ladies.
01:22:57.000 Why will they do that?
01:22:58.000 Because they're weak cunts, and there's a lot of them out there.
01:23:01.000 And those are the ones that don't have guns, I bet, right now.
01:23:04.000 Those are the ones.
01:23:05.000 Those are the ones that are 13th in line at the gun store, and it's 10 to 5, and they know they're not going to make it.
01:23:14.000 Did they close them?
01:23:15.000 Does the gun store say that?
01:23:17.000 No, they're 24 hours.
01:23:17.000 They give away guns.
01:23:19.000 They drop them out of helicopters through the roof, and then they just distribute them evenly.
01:23:22.000 They were supposed to close them, and then they didn't in Burbank, and then they said they were going to just raid the place if they don't close them, and then I think Trump just said yesterday or two days ago that it's considered...
01:23:32.000 Yeah, essential.
01:23:34.000 Essential!
01:23:35.000 All right.
01:23:35.000 Gotta have a pistola!
01:23:37.000 But Burbank police are like, we're not even going to mess with this.
01:23:40.000 We don't care.
01:23:41.000 They're not arresting anybody for anything.
01:23:44.000 We're over here.
01:23:45.000 Just let us know if shit gets really crazy.
01:23:48.000 Mad Max!
01:23:49.000 Do you play the new Doom yet?
01:23:51.000 Scared.
01:23:52.000 Oh my god, it's scary.
01:23:53.000 I gotta say, I was a little disappointed that they didn't have deathmatch.
01:23:56.000 They didn't have one-on-one deathmatch.
01:23:58.000 They don't?
01:23:58.000 No.
01:23:59.000 They don't have, like, you versus a bunch of people in a room just killing each other.
01:24:02.000 I thought they had that.
01:24:03.000 No.
01:24:04.000 Right?
01:24:04.000 They don't, right?
01:24:06.000 It's like two working again.
01:24:08.000 It's a new type of multiplayer mode.
01:24:10.000 I hope they come to their senses.
01:24:12.000 They could.
01:24:12.000 It could be a downloadable content.
01:24:14.000 I just got the new Half-Life.
01:24:17.000 You were big in the Half-Life back in the day, right?
01:24:19.000 Yeah, I heard it's in VR now.
01:24:20.000 Oh my shit, dude.
01:24:21.000 Did you get it in VR? I got it in VR and I got the finger tracking so I could sit there and pick out a single bullet and put it in, you know, type shit.
01:24:29.000 Really?
01:24:31.000 So the gloves?
01:24:31.000 You have gloves?
01:24:32.000 No, it's just like these controllers.
01:24:34.000 They slip over the fingertips?
01:24:35.000 Yeah.
01:24:36.000 And what's weird is that I got the Vive Index, which is like the highest-end one you can get.
01:24:45.000 And it's so real that it's like the first time where I felt like I was in a room.
01:24:49.000 Before, it's always like, I'm in a room in VR. This is too realistic.
01:24:53.000 There was a part where I had to open this old elevator.
01:24:55.000 I'm like, I'm not walking there!
01:24:57.000 Is that good?
01:24:58.000 How's the definition?
01:25:00.000 It's amazing.
01:25:01.000 You're both nodding very vigorously.
01:25:02.000 It's so real that I was too scared to walk in the elevator because I hate elevators.
01:25:07.000 I'm in.
01:25:09.000 It's scary though.
01:25:10.000 Well, I'm hoping that Doom does that.
01:25:12.000 What we did see at Doom looks fucking amazing.
01:25:17.000 It looks amazing.
01:25:18.000 The fucking graphics are off the chart.
01:25:20.000 The gameplay looks really cool.
01:25:21.000 The weapons look fucking totally badass.
01:25:23.000 But if they did that in VR, Oh my god.
01:25:27.000 They do have a Doom in VR. But that?
01:25:29.000 Yeah, it's not quite there yet.
01:25:31.000 Or close to what you're talking about.
01:25:33.000 If they did Doom Eternal in VR, and you put that bitch in a warehouse, and you run through the game in a couple hours, too much cowers you would burn, the world would be ripped.
01:25:43.000 We get people in such good shape.
01:25:45.000 Because if you had something like Doom, right?
01:25:47.000 And you're in a warehouse.
01:25:48.000 Like I told you they do with Sandbox.
01:25:50.000 Sandbox has a bunch of dope games like that.
01:25:52.000 But they don't have anything that goes on for like three hours.
01:25:55.000 Or if there was a place where you could go, we could get blocks of time.
01:25:59.000 Like, yeah, I reserved, you know, Warehouse 4 from 9 to 12. And it's you and like five friends.
01:26:05.000 And you have three fucking hours.
01:26:09.000 Three hours.
01:26:11.000 With fake guns and resources and you drink real water and you're wandering around this warehouse.
01:26:18.000 You gotta try Half-Life.
01:26:20.000 What if they had a virtual toilet?
01:26:21.000 You don't even take your VR off to piss.
01:26:24.000 You walk up to a toilet.
01:26:25.000 It's a real toilet.
01:26:27.000 They have these suits now you can buy that you put on that vibrate so you feel things and you could be in a game and you could feel water, like water drops hit you and stuff.
01:26:40.000 And they have all these trackers now that you can put...
01:26:42.000 And you can do that with Doom?
01:26:44.000 I mean, with Half-Life?
01:26:45.000 You could almost do it to any game if you know what you're doing.
01:26:47.000 That's a problem, man.
01:26:48.000 There's a lot of PC shit involved with having VR. The Vive Quest, I think it's called, where you don't have any PC, you just put it on.
01:26:58.000 That's the future.
01:26:59.000 But right now, you still have to hook it up to a nice PC. Dude, we got Oculus on one of the Oculus ones.
01:27:05.000 It's the one that's really dope because it's just a headset and it works off of an iPad.
01:27:10.000 Right.
01:27:10.000 And the one where you walk the plank.
01:27:13.000 Oh, that's the scariest shit ever.
01:27:14.000 Yeah, I have that fucked up.
01:27:16.000 But the new stuff, I unfortunately still have cameras everywhere tracking.
01:27:22.000 But you can lay down in it.
01:27:25.000 If you see something, you can lean in and pick something out.
01:27:29.000 It's room scale, so you're walking.
01:27:31.000 Dude.
01:27:32.000 Yeah, this is the future.
01:27:33.000 The future is you're not gonna have a life.
01:27:36.000 You're gonna get sucked into those things and you're gonna be playing them all day long because it's gonna be way better than life.
01:27:40.000 You're gonna be working your shit job at the Amazon warehouse, can't wait to go home, and you're gonna get home, strap that fucking headset on, and party!
01:27:49.000 When you're trapped inside, it gives you more space to explore, which is like probably a little bit of a mental escape.
01:27:55.000 Well, I think this is also going to open up a lot.
01:27:57.000 True.
01:27:58.000 I think in the future, a lot more people are going to be using video conferencing and stuff like that instead of meetings because we realize how way better this is.
01:28:05.000 Instead of meeting and going to this business and working, you can just sit there and talk nowadays.
01:28:10.000 I don't know why people don't Skype more or use this technology.
01:28:16.000 Well, I think people want to go outside and experience life and still want to meet in a building to work together.
01:28:24.000 I think people still like that.
01:28:25.000 Do you think this is going to change anything like that?
01:28:27.000 Yeah, man!
01:28:27.000 Everyone's going to be afraid!
01:28:29.000 How long is it going to be before you can just hug a stranger?
01:28:31.000 Dude, college is going to change?
01:28:33.000 Because, like, how many kids are learning right now, and they're like, ah, what the fuck was I going to a fucking lecture for?
01:28:37.000 Oh, they're so scared.
01:28:38.000 Everyone's going to be so scared.
01:28:39.000 Concerts.
01:28:40.000 But meanwhile, the last big concert that I saw was, um...
01:28:45.000 Who the fuck was it in Denver?
01:28:47.000 They got in trouble.
01:28:48.000 Always tired.
01:28:51.000 Always tired.
01:28:51.000 Tattoo...
01:28:53.000 Post Malone.
01:28:54.000 Post Malone.
01:28:56.000 This weed is too strong.
01:28:57.000 I just had four extra hits for some strange reason.
01:29:01.000 He did a show in Denver.
01:29:02.000 He was like one of the last ones to do it.
01:29:03.000 I was looking out and it was like, you know, 18,000 people or some shit at the Pepsi Center.
01:29:07.000 I looked out there and I'm like, wow, that's a lot of people that could get it.
01:29:10.000 Mm-hmm.
01:29:12.000 All those spring breakers stacked on top of each other after that.
01:29:16.000 Someone used some computer program to track cell phone data, and they showed all these people on a little teeny part of Fort Lauderdale Beach over a two day period, and then watched their cell phones disperse across the country.
01:29:28.000 And see where the disease is going?
01:29:29.000 They fucking took off everywhere.
01:29:30.000 Not that everyone there had a disease, but they're just showing you how fast it goes.
01:29:33.000 They have a disease.
01:29:34.000 They're all stupid.
01:29:36.000 They're all young.
01:29:37.000 They're all infected with young.
01:29:39.000 Yeah, I didn't see that, but I'm not surprised.
01:29:42.000 Well, it's weird.
01:29:43.000 April 1st was like, you know, when this first shit first started happening.
01:29:47.000 I think the comedy story, like, we're going to be closing until around April 1st, you know?
01:29:50.000 Now that's not going to happen.
01:29:51.000 This might be May.
01:29:53.000 I think the governor said he wants two months, right?
01:29:56.000 Yeah.
01:29:58.000 Did he say two months from now or two months total?
01:30:01.000 I don't know.
01:30:02.000 Two months from now.
01:30:04.000 I think it's from now.
01:30:06.000 From now.
01:30:06.000 So, June.
01:30:09.000 Fuck.
01:30:10.000 I don't understand.
01:30:11.000 If you were a waiter, I know when I was a waiter for 10 years, I went paycheck to paycheck.
01:30:16.000 The real problem is unemployment.
01:30:18.000 Yeah.
01:30:19.000 I mean, they have to be honest, too, about the tips.
01:30:23.000 Okay, so these are all their cell phones?
01:30:25.000 Yes.
01:30:25.000 They're zooming in on a...
01:30:26.000 They combine two data sets to show...
01:30:29.000 This is what companies actually use for tracking advertising stuff.
01:30:33.000 Normally.
01:30:34.000 But this company's tried to show how fast shit can spread.
01:30:37.000 So they're showing a little heat map of cell phones on a little piece of a beach here in Florida.
01:30:43.000 And then they take all of those data points and then he makes the timeline go ahead a couple days and you just watch them spread from there.
01:30:50.000 Wow.
01:30:50.000 And it's fucking nuts.
01:30:51.000 So it's not even that many of them.
01:30:52.000 It's probably a couple thousand.
01:30:53.000 I think it said it was 6,000 of them or 5,500 of them maybe.
01:30:57.000 And then he just says, let's timeline go ahead a little bit.
01:31:00.000 And those that want to see this, you can look up a Twitter account called tectonicsgeo.
01:31:05.000 How interesting.
01:31:06.000 And you'll see the video there.
01:31:07.000 Look how far it spreads.
01:31:08.000 I mean, it's half the country.
01:31:10.000 Wow.
01:31:11.000 You know what's also crazy?
01:31:12.000 It really is the cell phone.
01:31:14.000 Because the cell phone is so dirty.
01:31:16.000 Who cleans their cell phone?
01:31:18.000 You touch your ass.
01:31:19.000 You touch your cell phone.
01:31:21.000 You touch your dick.
01:31:21.000 You touch your cell phone.
01:31:23.000 You touch your nose.
01:31:24.000 You touch your cell phone.
01:31:25.000 You put your cell phone on the table where someone else's cell phone was.
01:31:28.000 You put your cell phone in your pocket.
01:31:29.000 You fart on it.
01:31:32.000 You put your cell phone in your car.
01:31:34.000 Your car is disgusting.
01:31:35.000 And even when it's dirty, I know that if I have something crunchy on my screen, it's not like I'm clean, I'm just like...
01:31:40.000 It's annoying to scratch it off there.
01:31:43.000 I'm not washing my cell phone, but I'm going to start washing it.
01:31:45.000 One thing good is I got the iPhone 11. It's IP68. So if you don't have a phone, that's waterproof.
01:31:54.000 Do you have the green one?
01:31:57.000 I'll bring him in.
01:31:58.000 I have some Windex specifically for electronics wipes.
01:32:01.000 Thank God, but it's too late!
01:32:03.000 Get that phone cleaner I got, man.
01:32:05.000 Yeah, maybe that's a move.
01:32:07.000 Everybody puts their phone in a heater, a microwave.
01:32:10.000 What is it?
01:32:10.000 What kind of light is it?
01:32:11.000 Ultraviolet light?
01:32:12.000 The same as that thing?
01:32:13.000 Yeah.
01:32:14.000 How weird is that?
01:32:15.000 Kills their DNA. That seems really malicious.
01:32:18.000 Why don't we just all replace our light bulbs with these lights?
01:32:20.000 Dude!
01:32:22.000 Well, some guy was saying that we should carry around these ozone things.
01:32:27.000 There's a thing that deer hunters have been using forever, and it's an ozone spray.
01:32:32.000 So you stand there, and this ozone bath washes over you.
01:32:37.000 So even if deer are coming upwind, so they're walking into the wind, and your smell is blowing in their face, your smell is covered by this ozone.
01:32:47.000 Ozone spray.
01:32:47.000 That's what stoners used to buy from waterbeds and stuff and spray in their rental cars after they're returning them.
01:32:53.000 I don't know if that was Real Ozone, but that was the name of the brand.
01:32:56.000 Ozium, that's pretty close.
01:32:56.000 Yeah, Ozium.
01:32:58.000 But Real Ozone, it actually does, on some levels, mask your scent.
01:33:03.000 You can see a deer smell it.
01:33:05.000 They get confused.
01:33:07.000 Because if a deer smell you, they just get the fuck out.
01:33:09.000 We stink to deer.
01:33:11.000 That's the number one tool that they have to get away from humans is smell.
01:33:16.000 Because they don't see you from like 500 yards away.
01:33:20.000 You're not an immediate threat.
01:33:22.000 You're all the way over there.
01:33:23.000 You're moving.
01:33:23.000 They might go, oh, what is that?
01:33:25.000 Let me get the fuck out of here.
01:33:26.000 But they're generally confident that at 500 yards away from you, they can kind of get away from you quick enough.
01:33:32.000 But if you're close to them and they smell you...
01:33:35.000 They fucking run.
01:33:37.000 They run, dude.
01:33:38.000 They run.
01:33:39.000 Like, if you're in...
01:33:40.000 Close meaning, realistically, they can smell you a couple hundred yards, 300 yards.
01:33:44.000 The wind comes to them.
01:33:45.000 It catches them.
01:33:46.000 They see it, and they just start bouncing away.
01:33:48.000 They run away.
01:33:49.000 We stink.
01:33:49.000 We smell like meat.
01:33:51.000 We smell like something that eats meat.
01:33:53.000 You know, we smell like a predator.
01:33:54.000 We smell gross.
01:33:56.000 So they're like, fuck!
01:33:57.000 Imagine someone you can smell the way you smell skunk.
01:34:01.000 Wow.
01:34:01.000 If you smelled a person, like, over the top of a hill, like a wind gusts you, like, you smell that?
01:34:05.000 Fuck, we gotta get out of here.
01:34:07.000 That's what it's like to them.
01:34:08.000 It's like if skunks were murderous animals looking to shoot at you.
01:34:12.000 Or being in India.
01:34:14.000 In India?
01:34:15.000 Why in India?
01:34:16.000 Because you could smell people in India.
01:34:18.000 Oh.
01:34:22.000 Especially now.
01:34:23.000 They can't even leave the house.
01:34:25.000 You see in India where they're attacking them?
01:34:27.000 If you're in the streets, they're just beating the shit out of it, like the police.
01:34:31.000 There's a bunch of different countries that are going to do that.
01:34:33.000 The China one was the scariest, man, when they're dragging those people away.
01:34:36.000 I was like, what is going on?
01:34:40.000 I guess there's photos outside of our hospitals here in Los Angeles of just semis filled with bodies.
01:34:47.000 Somebody posted the other day.
01:34:48.000 How many people have died in Los Angeles?
01:34:51.000 Not that much, so I don't know.
01:34:52.000 You sure they weren't caskets?
01:34:54.000 I think it's because they have the virus and they died of the virus.
01:34:58.000 They have to keep them separate from regular...
01:35:01.000 I don't know.
01:35:03.000 Bro.
01:35:05.000 What's your take on this?
01:35:06.000 Give me the Brian Redband take.
01:35:07.000 When do we get out of this?
01:35:09.000 I think we're in it for a lot longer than we think.
01:35:12.000 I think like a good two more months, maybe max.
01:35:15.000 And I think we are...
01:35:17.000 I think this is just fucking weird.
01:35:20.000 Does this set a precedent, do you think?
01:35:22.000 I think there's a lot of depression issues.
01:35:24.000 I know a lot of people...
01:35:25.000 If I was single right now, I would not be able to take this.
01:35:27.000 Disturbing video shows dead bodies loaded onto truck outside New York City hospitals.
01:35:32.000 New York.
01:35:33.000 So it's a freezer check, though.
01:35:35.000 Yeah.
01:35:35.000 But here's my question.
01:35:38.000 What if the flu next year is particularly vicious?
01:35:41.000 Are we going to do this all over again?
01:35:43.000 This is the question.
01:35:44.000 So this could come back in the fall, that Dr. Fauci guy sang.
01:35:47.000 It could come back in the fall.
01:35:50.000 And how long are they singing on The Cure?
01:35:52.000 Well, they don't even think they can come up with a vaccine for 16 to 18 months, right?
01:35:58.000 That's what they said?
01:35:59.000 Because of how they do the testing and whatnot.
01:36:01.000 I think they said 18 months.
01:36:03.000 It's like they're hopeful for a year and a half.
01:36:05.000 Can't they do like what China did when they built those hospitals?
01:36:08.000 Get like every single person in the world together and be like, let's all figure this out in a month?
01:36:14.000 I don't know if they can.
01:36:15.000 I don't know if they can, man.
01:36:17.000 I know everyone's donating their computer processing power right now to try to find a cure for it.
01:36:21.000 I don't know if you saw that.
01:36:22.000 There's that where you could install that thing on your computer.
01:36:25.000 And so when you're not using it, it's using your computer to help cloud-based find a thing.
01:36:31.000 And I wonder if everyone did that.
01:36:34.000 Well, I mean, they need to do clinical trials.
01:36:38.000 Clinical trials take time.
01:36:40.000 So if they do this chloroquine stuff or some other things that they come up with, they have to try them on animals.
01:36:45.000 They have to figure out whether or not it would work on people, and then they have to try it on people.
01:36:49.000 There's a whole process that they have to go through.
01:36:52.000 It's not like there's some miracle that they're holding back on.
01:36:56.000 That's what's so scary about this shit.
01:36:59.000 When we were at the CDC in Galveston, Texas, Duncan and I went down there, and I think it's the Center for Disease Control.
01:37:07.000 I think that's what it's called.
01:37:08.000 It's this building where they house everything that'll kill you.
01:37:11.000 Ebola.
01:37:11.000 All kinds of shit that'll just kill everybody.
01:37:13.000 Jesus.
01:37:13.000 In this big-ass building.
01:37:16.000 Super thick walls and vacuum.
01:37:17.000 They were explaining how they suck all the air out of the room.
01:37:20.000 They have vacuum hoses and these guys are built like, you know, they have these suits that are built like astronaut suits, like they're on the moon.
01:37:27.000 It's crazy protection that they have.
01:37:29.000 And then they're working with these viruses and these deadly diseases.
01:37:33.000 I'm like, oh!
01:37:33.000 That's like a bad idea.
01:37:35.000 Oh my god, it's so terrifying.
01:37:37.000 Talking to him, me and Duncan both freaked out because at first we were thinking, what if Russia...
01:37:42.000 Came up with some kind of crazy disease and turned it on the world.
01:37:47.000 You know, we were scared of that.
01:37:48.000 Like, what about weaponized viruses?
01:37:50.000 What about that?
01:37:51.000 And they were like, yeah, yeah, that can happen.
01:37:53.000 But you know what's happening all the time?
01:37:55.000 New viruses.
01:37:56.000 They're like, what we're really scared of is shit like the Spanish flu.
01:38:00.000 Or H1N1 or all these different flus that just show up and wipe out people in a different way.
01:38:05.000 Like the Spanish flu particularly killed young men, like really healthy men with really good immune systems for whatever reason.
01:38:12.000 Those are the ones that got jacked.
01:38:14.000 A lot of them.
01:38:15.000 It was like a weird, like this one kind of, it's not as bad for young people, but it's much worse for old people.
01:38:21.000 Right.
01:38:22.000 Some of them vary.
01:38:23.000 Some of them are really bad for young people.
01:38:25.000 Yeah, some of it's random.
01:38:25.000 Yeah, and he was really scared of that.
01:38:28.000 He was like, this is what we're concerned about.
01:38:30.000 We're concerned about nature itself.
01:38:31.000 We're not concerned about people making some sort of a weaponized virus.
01:38:36.000 He's like, that would be terrible.
01:38:38.000 But what we're concerned with is what's happening all the time.
01:38:41.000 These viruses are mutating and morphing and changing and becoming more powerful and resistant to antibiotics and like, whoa!
01:38:51.000 Bro!
01:38:52.000 He scared the shit out of both of us.
01:38:55.000 We walked out of there and we're like, man.
01:38:58.000 It just made us realize, like, oh, this just hasn't happened in our lifetime.
01:39:03.000 Like, you know, in a way that we're confronted with it until now.
01:39:07.000 You know, now it's happening.
01:39:10.000 There's some new thing that we don't have a cure for, you know?
01:39:15.000 Then you add internet and social media to that and it's just panic.
01:39:19.000 You're not just seeing the news every night.
01:39:22.000 And there's value in it.
01:39:25.000 If you freak people out, they'll click on links.
01:39:28.000 If they click on the links, you get all the ad revenue.
01:39:31.000 If you're writing some sensationalist story that's real clickbaity with a clickbaity title, people jump to it and then you get those ad clicks.
01:39:38.000 So you're encouraged to make these sensationalist stories that are interesting to read.
01:39:43.000 And I'm as guilty as anybody.
01:39:45.000 If I see something ridiculous, I'm like, what?
01:39:47.000 What did he say?
01:39:48.000 What?
01:39:48.000 What did she do?
01:39:49.000 Where did she get that money?
01:39:51.000 And I'll go click on it too.
01:39:52.000 And then when I'm disappointed, I'm like, oh.
01:39:55.000 How many people read the whole thing?
01:39:59.000 Yeah, I read something the other day that I think was clickbait and not real about how meth might fight the coronavirus.
01:40:06.000 Did you read that?
01:40:09.000 Me and Eddie Bravo used to always joke about how there's no one who's like a meth proponent, like a weed proponent.
01:40:16.000 There's no one out there.
01:40:18.000 People try to evangelize with weed, right?
01:40:22.000 Yeah.
01:40:23.000 Oh, tons.
01:40:24.000 And mushrooms.
01:40:25.000 Oh yeah, mushrooms.
01:40:26.000 Me, I'm guilty of that.
01:40:28.000 All of us do.
01:40:29.000 But you have something that you think is spectacular and you want other people to try it.
01:40:33.000 We were like, does anybody do that with meth?
01:40:35.000 If anybody's like, dude, you want to clean your fucking apartment?
01:40:38.000 Yeah, there's cokeheads that doesn't seem as bad, because there is medical purposes for cocaine, but yet meth, there's nothing for meth.
01:40:49.000 Well, there is.
01:40:50.000 Numbing agents.
01:40:51.000 Adderall's pretty close.
01:40:52.000 That's what I was going to say.
01:40:53.000 If you called meth Adderall, then you definitely have lots of proponents for it.
01:40:56.000 Yeah, dude, Adderall is real close to meth.
01:40:59.000 And I know multiple people that have a real issue with that stuff.
01:41:03.000 Some of them that have completely lost their mind.
01:41:07.000 The Adderall is like any other thing where you're perturbing your natural state all the time.
01:41:15.000 Like, your balance gets off.
01:41:17.000 You don't know where you are.
01:41:18.000 You don't know what you're doing.
01:41:18.000 You don't know what you're saying.
01:41:19.000 You're saying things and then realizing that you said them after you said them.
01:41:22.000 You're talking constantly.
01:41:24.000 Like, you know what happens to those fucking Adderall heads?
01:41:26.000 They get real weird.
01:41:28.000 They get real weird.
01:41:29.000 They get angry at people that did nothing to them.
01:41:31.000 They think there's conspiracies.
01:41:33.000 They think there's helicopters flying around looking for them.
01:41:35.000 They get meth-y.
01:41:37.000 They get real meth-y, especially if they're abusing it.
01:41:40.000 And most are, it seems like.
01:41:42.000 Yes!
01:41:42.000 A lot of them are taking it off-label.
01:41:45.000 A lot of them are just taking it recreationally.
01:41:48.000 They're just taking it because they want a little juice.
01:41:52.000 Is there any ice in there?
01:41:52.000 Yeah, there's ice in there.
01:41:53.000 And cooties.
01:41:54.000 There's probably cooties in those ice.
01:41:56.000 Don't reach your hands in there.
01:41:57.000 Ugh.
01:42:01.000 These are pretty good, these little CBD. Oh, they're the shit.
01:42:03.000 25 milligrams of CBD in each one of them.
01:42:06.000 I'm super addicted.
01:42:07.000 Mango Tango.
01:42:07.000 Kill Cliff.
01:42:08.000 Yeah, this is the new flavor, the Mango Tango flavor.
01:42:12.000 There's a bunch of new ones.
01:42:14.000 I like mango and things, but raw mango, it feels like new carpet, like chemical taste.
01:42:21.000 See, that's just because you smoke.
01:42:22.000 Is that why it opens up something weird?
01:42:24.000 Yeah, it's murdered your taste buds.
01:42:26.000 Mango's delicious.
01:42:27.000 How often do you smoke cigarettes, though?
01:42:29.000 Not much.
01:42:30.000 I mean, this jewel is my favorite thing ever.
01:42:32.000 Look, you got a little...
01:42:33.000 Oh, my God!
01:42:35.000 We're gonna die!
01:42:38.000 Yeah, that's...
01:42:39.000 Just sorry about that.
01:42:40.000 No worries.
01:42:42.000 Don't put that back in your glass!
01:42:43.000 Oh, I'm not gonna drink that.
01:42:44.000 Oh, I was like, you're a fucking savage.
01:42:46.000 He's got cigar butts in there and shit.
01:42:50.000 He's like, we're back on Fear Factor.
01:42:55.000 What were you saying?
01:42:56.000 No, like, these jewels, I mean, I got really into the jewels, and it seems, you know, I used to, when I smoked, I would wake up in the morning and, like, breathe, like, I could feel the cigarette in my lungs, and, like, I don't have that anymore, but I also notice I suck on this thing all day like it's a lollipop,
01:43:14.000 you know, and that cannot be good.
01:43:16.000 Well, I found out from Adam Curry what the fucking lowdown is.
01:43:20.000 Adam Curry, you know, the original guy who came up with podcasts.
01:43:25.000 Podcasting, yeah.
01:43:26.000 He's the Mac Daddy, the OG. He's like our Lucy.
01:43:30.000 Like Lucy that...
01:43:32.000 Was that fake?
01:43:33.000 Was Lucy faked?
01:43:35.000 Lucy.
01:43:35.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
01:43:37.000 Lucy's the first fossil of mankind, humankind, a woman, that they found who's like one of the first recognizable homo sapiens, I think, or one of our ancestors, one of the first recognizable ancestors, but someone said that there's something faked about it,
01:43:55.000 that there was a recent controversy, and I didn't look into it, but I'm remembering it right now.
01:44:01.000 Was Adam before Leo?
01:44:02.000 Remember Leo?
01:44:03.000 Well, he was on that show.
01:44:05.000 Well, Leo was on that show.
01:44:07.000 Screensavers.
01:44:08.000 I fucking loved that show.
01:44:10.000 I was a nerd.
01:44:10.000 That was my super nerd days, too.
01:44:12.000 That was the days when I was actually making computers.
01:44:16.000 I would go and buy all the parts and put computers together and shit.
01:44:20.000 I loved that show.
01:44:21.000 But Adam started his shit...
01:44:24.000 I mean, he gave us the whole timeline on the show, but it's super clear he's the first.
01:44:28.000 If he wasn't the first, he's the first that survived that's still around today for sure.
01:44:32.000 Right.
01:44:33.000 He preceded us by many years.
01:44:35.000 Yeah.
01:44:36.000 But he had an idea to do this shit back when he was on MTV. He just happened to be beautiful.
01:44:43.000 He's like a super nerdy guy who just happened to be beautiful when he was young.
01:44:48.000 You know, because you would kind of dismiss him as being a pretty boy.
01:44:52.000 But he's a genius.
01:44:53.000 Brilliant guy.
01:44:54.000 And I really, really dug talking to him.
01:44:56.000 Like, he's really cool.
01:44:57.000 You would like him too, man.
01:44:58.000 He's super cool and super fucking smart.
01:45:01.000 And super tuned in to all aspects of privacy and the internet.
01:45:06.000 And, you know, he's telling us about...
01:45:08.000 Phones, they're making these new phones that are Linux-based phones that are completely private.
01:45:14.000 They don't send any data to anywhere.
01:45:17.000 He's into that kind of shit.
01:45:18.000 He's into those laptops that Snowden uses that have kill switches on them so you can kill the microphone and kill the, with an actual physical switch, kill the webcam.
01:45:28.000 Yeah, I like all those old MTV, like Matt Penfield, remember him?
01:45:32.000 The guy did Headbangers Ball.
01:45:33.000 Oh, yeah.
01:45:34.000 The bald guy.
01:45:35.000 And all those old MTV, we grew up with them.
01:45:38.000 Those were our DJs, our video DJs.
01:45:40.000 Do you remember Kennedy?
01:45:41.000 Yeah.
01:45:41.000 She's a Fox News Republican pundit.
01:45:44.000 Yeah.
01:45:45.000 Ha!
01:45:46.000 Does she look the same?
01:45:47.000 Does she have the sexy glasses?
01:45:48.000 She looks great.
01:45:49.000 She looks really good considering how long she's been on television for.
01:45:54.000 She's got to be at least my age.
01:45:57.000 She definitely looks better than Puck, right?
01:45:59.000 I haven't seen that poor guy.
01:46:01.000 He had a rough go of it.
01:46:04.000 Kennedy is on...
01:46:05.000 She's still on MTV, right?
01:46:06.000 I mean on Fox News, right?
01:46:08.000 Was?
01:46:09.000 She's not anymore?
01:46:10.000 Currently on hiatus.
01:46:11.000 On hiatus.
01:46:12.000 Did she get in trouble?
01:46:13.000 No, it's coronavirus programming.
01:46:14.000 Oh.
01:46:16.000 It's all webcams and shit.
01:46:18.000 They're all going to just give up and start doing podcasts.
01:46:20.000 They're going to realize you fucked up.
01:46:23.000 All that Fox News stuff and all that being in a studio.
01:46:27.000 Come on.
01:46:28.000 News is so stupid.
01:46:29.000 I love how they're sitting farther apart, but they're sitting two feet away.
01:46:33.000 All right, come on.
01:46:34.000 Social distancing responsibly.
01:46:37.000 The local NBC channel, they're all over at somebody's house.
01:46:41.000 And you can tell it's the same house because it's the same lighting, and they're obviously not going to have a cameraman at three different houses.
01:46:46.000 So they have one guy in the living room, one guy in the dining room, and then the bee reporter guy, he's sitting in front of a garbage can in the kitchen.
01:46:54.000 Imagine if the coronavirus forced everyone into doing podcasts and all regular television died.
01:47:02.000 It's close.
01:47:02.000 I hope.
01:47:03.000 It's close, but people still rely on those big names.
01:47:08.000 I want to hear what the BBC has to say about it.
01:47:11.000 I want to see what NBC says.
01:47:13.000 It's pretty amazing how much I watch YouTube more than I watch TV nowadays.
01:47:17.000 Everything is YouTube now.
01:47:18.000 I subscribe to people.
01:47:20.000 Every day I'm like, oh, I want to see the latest episode.
01:47:22.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
01:47:23.000 I waste a lot of fucking time on it, too.
01:47:26.000 Looking at car videos.
01:47:27.000 Looking at old hot rod videos and stuff.
01:47:31.000 Rich Rebuilds.
01:47:32.000 What were we just talking about?
01:47:34.000 Shit, I was going to ask you a question.
01:47:36.000 Everything's going on podcasts.
01:47:38.000 Kennedy.
01:47:39.000 Gone.
01:47:39.000 In and out.
01:47:40.000 In and out of my brain.
01:47:42.000 It had something to do with these shows.
01:47:47.000 How many people are doing podcasts now?
01:47:50.000 Switching everything.
01:47:51.000 You're not helping.
01:47:54.000 I got way too high.
01:47:56.000 But I needed that.
01:47:57.000 Like, on a day like this, it's just too weird.
01:48:00.000 I don't want to be sober right now.
01:48:02.000 Yeah, I'm watching car videos, though.
01:48:04.000 I love watching.
01:48:04.000 I love car videos.
01:48:05.000 I love old cars that I'll never own.
01:48:07.000 I don't even want them.
01:48:08.000 But I like watching them.
01:48:09.000 Some dude driving an old Fiat the other day on a mountain road.
01:48:12.000 I was like, oh, look at that.
01:48:13.000 Looks cool.
01:48:14.000 I don't want to do that.
01:48:18.000 I just think there's something about mechanical things that people create and work on.
01:48:22.000 That's probably my favorite part about it.
01:48:24.000 I like these new cars, these companies are taking like old classic cars and then gutting a Tesla and putting all the Tesla stuff inside of it.
01:48:32.000 There's a Russian car company that's doing that now with a 1967 Mustang.
01:48:37.000 Wow.
01:48:38.000 But they're building the Mustang out of pure carbon fiber.
01:48:41.000 Yeah, so it's going to be really light.
01:48:44.000 And they estimated a 0-60 of 2.2 seconds.
01:48:47.000 So you can find this.
01:48:48.000 It's a really new company that's coming out with this.
01:48:51.000 What do you have to do if you buy that and you need to get it fixed?
01:48:54.000 Do you have to take it back to them?
01:48:55.000 You've got to send it to Rich Benoit.
01:48:57.000 Yeah.
01:48:57.000 Send it to Rich Rebuilds.
01:48:59.000 Yeah.
01:48:59.000 It's the Electric Garage in Massachusetts.
01:49:01.000 Where's this place?
01:49:02.000 Give him a shout out.
01:49:03.000 I think Massachusetts sounds right.
01:49:04.000 Yeah, but I mean where in Massachusetts?
01:49:06.000 Oh.
01:49:06.000 He's great, right?
01:49:07.000 He just put a video up about nipples and this little kid.
01:49:11.000 I love him.
01:49:12.000 Where'd you get this?
01:49:13.000 Did he give this to you?
01:49:14.000 He gave it to me, yeah.
01:49:15.000 He added it to the collection.
01:49:17.000 I love his videos.
01:49:19.000 He keeps Tesla honest.
01:49:21.000 He keeps everybody honest.
01:49:22.000 He hates a lot though on the Model X and that kind of drives me crazy.
01:49:26.000 New Hampshire?
01:49:26.000 No, he doesn't live in New Hampshire.
01:49:28.000 Hey man, the electrified garage.
01:49:30.000 It's in New Hampshire, huh?
01:49:31.000 Weird.
01:49:32.000 I thought he was in Matt, maybe opened the garage in New Hampshire.
01:49:37.000 But he's on this thing lately where he's talking about superchargers.
01:49:42.000 Seabrook, New Hampshire.
01:49:43.000 Seabrook, New Hampshire.
01:49:44.000 Is that near the border to Massachusetts?
01:49:47.000 Because a lot of people did that.
01:49:49.000 They, like, got places.
01:49:50.000 I had friends who got houses in New Hampshire because it was cheaper.
01:49:53.000 And you can get, like, a fucking yard filled with bears.
01:49:55.000 Yeah.
01:49:56.000 New Hampshire's the woods, bro.
01:49:57.000 Is it?
01:49:58.000 I did a girl from New Hampshire.
01:49:59.000 Yeah, it's just over the border from Massachusetts.
01:50:01.000 Yeah.
01:50:01.000 Yeah.
01:50:01.000 Woods people.
01:50:02.000 Woods people.
01:50:05.000 The real woods people are Maine people.
01:50:07.000 There was one story that I was reading about where these fucking guys were working during construction in Maine and they rented a house.
01:50:15.000 And the neighbors had decided that these people might have the corona.
01:50:20.000 And so they've been there since September.
01:50:21.000 They've been in the fucking town since September working on a construction site.
01:50:25.000 So they chopped a tree down and blocked their fucking driveway and threatened them with guns.
01:50:29.000 They have to quarantine them.
01:50:30.000 They're forcing them to quarantine.
01:50:32.000 Look at this.
01:50:33.000 Group of local vigilantes try to forcibly quarantine out of towners.
01:50:37.000 That's Maine for you.
01:50:38.000 That's fucked up.
01:50:39.000 That's Maine for you.
01:50:40.000 Dude, Maine is a strange place.
01:50:43.000 It's a strange place.
01:50:44.000 You ain't never seen drunk.
01:50:46.000 Oh, God.
01:50:48.000 You never seen drunk until you seen like a bar in Bangor.
01:50:53.000 Those people get throw down.
01:50:54.000 And they're all in that, you know, they're in that brutal, brutal, brutal cold, brutal cold for a long time.
01:51:02.000 They went to the mainland and were targeted because of their license plate when they arrived back in Vinalhaven.
01:51:11.000 An exchange between roommates and some local residents apparently didn't go well, she said, adding that a group of local vigilantes decided to take matters into their own hands and barricade these guys into their rental property.
01:51:25.000 Mrs. McDonald called the commotion a tremendous waste of resources, noting that it had drawn a response from several officials.
01:51:33.000 So silly.
01:51:34.000 But that's Maine.
01:51:35.000 There's a lot of dummies up there.
01:51:37.000 A lot of nice people, don't get me wrong, but you know there's a lot of dummies up there.
01:51:40.000 They call them maniacs, and they get real mad if you make fun of Maine.
01:51:43.000 I had a guy screaming at me.
01:51:45.000 I was telling Maine jokes in Maine.
01:51:49.000 And he was screaming.
01:51:50.000 He was standing up and he was an old dude, too, pointing at me, screaming.
01:51:53.000 Like, he really identified with Maine.
01:51:55.000 And I was trying to understand.
01:51:56.000 I go, do you identify with Maine?
01:51:58.000 Do you think I'm talking about you?
01:52:00.000 What's going on here, man?
01:52:01.000 Why are you mad?
01:52:02.000 I was making fun of the number of people that were shot by deer in Maine.
01:52:08.000 Shot by a deer?
01:52:09.000 Or shot hunting deer.
01:52:10.000 And mistaken for a deer.
01:52:12.000 Sorry.
01:52:12.000 Shot by a deer.
01:52:13.000 That's hilarious.
01:52:15.000 And I was making this joke about it, like, I mean, how many fucking people live here?
01:52:18.000 And this guy got up, I fucking live here, screaming at me.
01:52:21.000 I was like, whoa, buddy.
01:52:23.000 These are just jokes.
01:52:25.000 It doesn't make this a lot better, but this thing in Maine, it's a small island town.
01:52:30.000 Oh, even worse.
01:52:31.000 That's why they're saying get back to the mainland.
01:52:33.000 I was like, why are they saying mainland?
01:52:34.000 Because they're thinking someone came over there with the cooties.
01:52:37.000 But those guys have been there since September.
01:52:39.000 These people are just idiots.
01:52:45.000 Dude, islands are weird, man.
01:52:47.000 I did a gig once on Block Island.
01:52:49.000 Block Island is like outside of Rhode Island, I believe.
01:52:54.000 It was the worst gig I ever did.
01:52:56.000 I mean, even to this day, I think back, I'm like, you can't get worse.
01:52:59.000 You only get different.
01:53:01.000 The place was, they were sedated.
01:53:05.000 I mean like everyone in the bar was plastered.
01:53:11.000 Like at a level where they couldn't even communicate.
01:53:14.000 Wow.
01:53:14.000 It was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen.
01:53:19.000 Me and this kid, Scott Papakuri, he booked it.
01:53:22.000 Me and him went there.
01:53:23.000 He was the opener and I was the closer.
01:53:25.000 We both sucked and it was like 1989 and we were sleeping in a storage area like with containers of like fucking green beans and cans of peas.
01:53:38.000 Dry storage?
01:53:38.000 Right there.
01:53:39.000 Wow.
01:53:39.000 So there's like racks and on the ground there was like these beds and we had to sleep in these beds that were in a storage unit.
01:53:46.000 I'm not bullshitting.
01:53:47.000 No shit.
01:53:47.000 There was no hotel room.
01:53:48.000 There was a toilet.
01:53:49.000 You could take a shit.
01:53:50.000 You could wash your hands.
01:53:51.000 There was no bathroom, no shower.
01:53:53.000 I was like, this is the craziest gig ever.
01:53:55.000 And they were mad at us.
01:53:57.000 Because I forget what he had said.
01:53:59.000 But by the time he had gotten off stage, the show was basically over.
01:54:03.000 They had shut the show down.
01:54:04.000 I don't even remember if I got to tell a joke.
01:54:07.000 Wow.
01:54:07.000 I don't even think I did.
01:54:09.000 I think I might have started my act and they stopped everything right as he was getting off stage.
01:54:16.000 And I didn't realize what was going on.
01:54:18.000 But they didn't like his language or subject matter or whatever.
01:54:21.000 It was for sure mocking the drunks.
01:54:22.000 Because they were like this.
01:54:26.000 This fucking show sucks!
01:54:28.000 I mean, they were so drunk, dude.
01:54:30.000 Like, no one could sit up straight.
01:54:32.000 Everyone was like...
01:54:33.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:54:34.000 They were like sedated.
01:54:35.000 They were like...
01:54:35.000 And there was only maybe 20 people in the whole bar.
01:54:38.000 I hate bar shits.
01:54:39.000 And we came over there on a ferry to do this terrible comedy show.
01:54:43.000 I was going to ask, it seems like a place like Put-In-Bay.
01:54:45.000 Put-In-Bay.
01:54:46.000 Yeah, we got stuck, man.
01:54:47.000 We couldn't go back.
01:54:48.000 We had stuck.
01:54:49.000 We couldn't go back until the morning.
01:54:51.000 Then we went back in the morning.
01:54:52.000 I was like, whoa.
01:54:54.000 That was a rough one.
01:54:55.000 But that's an island.
01:54:57.000 Like, you get those people that just live on this little island and they just get hammered together.
01:55:01.000 Yeah.
01:55:02.000 There's a few of those islands.
01:55:04.000 It's not a happy island.
01:55:05.000 You think of island life, you think of, like, Kauai, you know, where Laird Hamilton is surfing Kauai.
01:55:15.000 I know, cold islands are not the same.
01:55:17.000 No, cold islands are different.
01:55:19.000 You don't get no Gabby Reese on them cold islands.
01:55:22.000 I heard Hawaii didn't have any coronavirus and they closed off Hawaii.
01:55:27.000 Is that true?
01:55:27.000 They should.
01:55:28.000 Good move for them.
01:55:30.000 Shut it down if you can afford it.
01:55:32.000 Because people coming over, they're going to bring it.
01:55:34.000 The question is, what if they bring just, you know...
01:55:38.000 What if they bring it and it doesn't affect them the way it affects everybody else?
01:55:44.000 They have a few.
01:55:44.000 They have a few cases?
01:55:45.000 Up to 175 now.
01:55:48.000 You heard about Germany?
01:55:50.000 No.
01:55:51.000 Exceptionally low mortality rates, like less than somewhere in the neighborhood of one-tenth of one percent, less than everywhere else.
01:55:56.000 Really?
01:55:57.000 Yeah.
01:55:58.000 And then there's, I believe, Sweden.
01:56:00.000 And Sweden, in an experiment, they're not shutting down anything.
01:56:05.000 They're not shutting down, yeah, they're not shutting down restaurants or schools or anything.
01:56:11.000 That could go bad fast.
01:56:12.000 Or not.
01:56:13.000 Yeah, how are they doing right now?
01:56:15.000 Maybe they're looking at it the same way Germany's looking at it.
01:56:18.000 Yeah, but the whole thing is overfilling the hospitals all at once and not being able to treat people.
01:56:23.000 Right, and that's why they die, because they don't get the right treatment.
01:56:25.000 Right.
01:56:26.000 Yeah.
01:56:26.000 Yeah, 100%.
01:56:27.000 I mean, there's no fucking real answer to this thing.
01:56:35.000 It affects people so differently.
01:56:37.000 Some people get it and it's almost nothing.
01:56:39.000 And some people apparently in Wuhan are testing positive again.
01:56:44.000 So they test negative, they get it, they get over it, they test negative, then they test positive again.
01:56:50.000 But they're asymptomatic.
01:56:51.000 They're asymptomatic, but it's still active.
01:56:54.000 That's what people are scared of.
01:56:56.000 That it's going to be a certain percentage of the population for whatever reason aren't going to show any signs of this virus.
01:57:03.000 And those people are going to spread it to everyone around them and not even know they're doing it.
01:57:07.000 But in a sense, we kind of all are doing that.
01:57:10.000 If you're around any people that go anywhere other than at your house, like if you go to the store, like if you're going to the store and we're all going to the store, bro.
01:57:19.000 You don't know what you're running into.
01:57:22.000 You're going to the store.
01:57:23.000 I mean, you hopefully are not going to catch anything at the store, but this stuff lives in the air.
01:57:29.000 People are breathing.
01:57:30.000 If you just...
01:57:31.000 I don't know how much it takes, how much particulate matter has to be in the air before it can get into your mouth.
01:57:37.000 Ooh, look at that.
01:57:38.000 A Bain mask.
01:57:39.000 And it has the filters.
01:57:40.000 Do you wear that when you fuck?
01:57:41.000 Don't lie.
01:57:42.000 Not anymore.
01:57:44.000 Sounds sexy anymore?
01:57:47.000 I was lucky.
01:57:47.000 I bought these things before the virus because of allergies.
01:57:51.000 Are those good?
01:57:51.000 Well, this has the filters in it, the charcoal filters and all that.
01:57:55.000 I don't know if it does anything.
01:57:56.000 Oh, I'm sure.
01:57:57.000 The charcoal filters do a lot.
01:57:59.000 Yeah, it's replaceable filters.
01:58:00.000 Sounds good.
01:58:01.000 But it makes me feel better when I'm in public.
01:58:03.000 Just like the other day, I was at the grocery store, and of all people, an old Chinese lady starts coughing ridiculous.
01:58:09.000 And the whole grocery store was quiet, all looked over at once, just stared at her.
01:58:14.000 Because she was not even covering her face.
01:58:16.000 She was just coughing up in the air.
01:58:17.000 Oh, my God.
01:58:17.000 And I was like, thank God I had this.
01:58:19.000 I pulled out.
01:58:19.000 And it at least makes me feel better.
01:58:21.000 But I think the particles fall directly to the ground.
01:58:23.000 They're a thicker water, so it doesn't even matter.
01:58:26.000 Yeah.
01:58:26.000 I was trying to get my family to watch World War Z or 28 Days Later.
01:58:30.000 They passed on both of them.
01:58:31.000 You got Shaun of the Dead.
01:58:32.000 I was like, World War Z is rated PG. It's PG-13.
01:58:36.000 Really?
01:58:37.000 Yes!
01:58:37.000 Shaun of the Dead's a good one.
01:58:39.000 Yeah, but World War Z is ferocious.
01:58:42.000 Remember that?
01:58:42.000 Yeah.
01:58:42.000 That scared the shit out of me.
01:58:45.000 I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about this guy that got bit by a mountain lion that was rabid.
01:58:51.000 And any animal that's rabid will be like real aggressive and they'll go after you.
01:58:56.000 I'm like, just think about that because it's kind of like what it is to be a 28 Days Later zombie type character, right?
01:59:02.000 You just want to bite people to give them the disease.
01:59:04.000 And that's kind of like a rat who has rabies is trying to do it.
01:59:08.000 Chasing a cat.
01:59:09.000 Yeah, or you.
01:59:11.000 Something like a raccoon trying to bite these people that I was reading about.
01:59:15.000 It turned out the raccoon had rabies.
01:59:17.000 When they have rabies, they want to give it away.
01:59:20.000 That's what the virus is doing or the disease is doing.
01:59:23.000 It's trying to get in another host.
01:59:25.000 So it makes you go, go get him, I want to jump into him.
01:59:29.000 Imagine if something like that rage shit from 28 Days Later gets out.
01:59:36.000 It's so much scarier than what we're dealing with now, folks.
01:59:40.000 Again, we have it good in comparison to how it could be.
01:59:43.000 Asteroid showers and rage all at once.
01:59:46.000 Rage gets out of the lab.
01:59:48.000 The chimp bites the trainer.
01:59:50.000 The trainer bites the doctor.
01:59:52.000 The doctor bites the nurse.
01:59:54.000 The nurse bites her friends.
01:59:55.000 And everybody starts biting everybody.
01:59:58.000 That's 28 days later.
02:00:01.000 Bro, that's rabies.
02:00:02.000 That could happen.
02:00:03.000 Why couldn't it happen?
02:00:05.000 It can happen.
02:00:06.000 No power.
02:00:07.000 Asteroid shower.
02:00:09.000 Grid goes down.
02:00:10.000 No internet.
02:00:11.000 People start lying again.
02:00:12.000 Jesus.
02:00:13.000 And then rabies.
02:00:15.000 I want you to feel good about today.
02:00:17.000 Right now we're doing good, man.
02:00:19.000 We can still get gas.
02:00:20.000 We can still get food.
02:00:22.000 Yeah, but like, our internet's already stressed.
02:00:25.000 They have to take down all the Netflix and video games are going down like 720p.
02:00:29.000 There's a thing called books I want you to look into.
02:00:32.000 I want you to start reading.
02:00:33.000 Come on, bro.
02:00:34.000 Fuck that.
02:00:35.000 Fuck that, both of you?
02:00:36.000 Dude, my internet went out for a half hour last night and I almost freaked out.
02:00:41.000 I've set some good fitness goals.
02:00:44.000 That's what I decided to do.
02:00:45.000 I set a real good schedule of shit that I need to do, that I'm definitely going to do X amount of days per week, and I've been on that.
02:00:51.000 And I fucking love not traveling, you know?
02:00:54.000 I mean, I'm sorry for everyone that's out of work.
02:00:58.000 Don't get me wrong.
02:00:58.000 I'm not being insensitive here.
02:01:00.000 I'm just telling you my life.
02:01:02.000 The positive thing about not traveling is you feel way better.
02:01:07.000 Your body's not getting beat up all the time.
02:01:09.000 Yeah.
02:01:10.000 Your body gets beat the fuck up when you travel every weekend.
02:01:12.000 You fly on a plane every weekend.
02:01:14.000 That's positive because we had to cancel, obviously, a bunch of shows and just being at home.
02:01:20.000 God, I love it.
02:01:21.000 No stress.
02:01:22.000 No stress.
02:01:23.000 It's nice.
02:01:24.000 Petting your dog.
02:01:25.000 Yeah.
02:01:26.000 Going for a walk in your neighborhood.
02:01:27.000 All that shit's important for people.
02:01:30.000 And you don't realize, because we have this crazy life where we're always flying around, you don't realize how unsettling that is until you're home for a period of time.
02:01:41.000 We should do residencies in LA the way they do residencies in Vegas.
02:01:45.000 I guess we kind of do already at the Comedy Store.
02:01:48.000 Like, set up shop at a small theater.
02:01:50.000 Just like, I'm not going anywhere anymore.
02:01:51.000 You want to go?
02:01:52.000 Yeah!
02:01:52.000 You want to travel?
02:01:53.000 We're doing shows in Burbank.
02:01:55.000 You know?
02:01:56.000 We'll buy a 500-seat theater in Burbank, do shows there every weekend.
02:01:59.000 There's one, right across the street from Bob's Big Boy.
02:02:01.000 Because you can travel.
02:02:02.000 I don't have to travel to you.
02:02:04.000 You can travel.
02:02:05.000 I'll make the tickets cheaper.
02:02:06.000 Airlines are going to be so cheap when we get back and running.
02:02:09.000 Everyone's going to be like, please fly.
02:02:11.000 Please.
02:02:11.000 We're hanging out by a thread.
02:02:13.000 Just like last night, the cheapest shit.
02:02:15.000 Cheap as shit, right?
02:02:16.000 Like, flying neck this weekend, you could buy first class for under $500.
02:02:20.000 That's crazy.
02:02:20.000 Round trip to China was $400.
02:02:22.000 Round trip should be $400 in your bank account.
02:02:25.000 They should pay you.
02:02:27.000 They should give you foot massage the whole way and say they're sorry.
02:02:30.000 Do you think that's going to come, though?
02:02:31.000 They might shut down the airlines because that seems like a dumb thing.
02:02:34.000 Yes, of course.
02:02:34.000 They're flying around.
02:02:35.000 That's what I was saying.
02:02:36.000 I mean, look, if you look at that cell phone map, I mean, we're doing a better job than those fucking kids are.
02:02:44.000 Those kids on the beach are doing the worst job because they're 17 and they're horny and they're drunk and they have a phone.
02:02:50.000 But if you just look at people that are traveling for business or people that are going to supermarkets, if you just look at it honestly, There's so much room for it getting out.
02:03:00.000 I definitely think it's a good move to stay in as long as possible and get as many people that are tested negative as possible so that we can save as many people as we can.
02:03:10.000 Don't get me wrong, but I am saying they're not really stopping it.
02:03:14.000 They're stopping some of it.
02:03:16.000 You're not 100% stopping it.
02:03:18.000 And they're not going to be able to either.
02:03:20.000 You know, they were talking about quarantining New York City, and Cuomo had an interesting quote.
02:03:24.000 He was like, it's almost like the federal government declaring war on states and war on cities.
02:03:30.000 I was like, whoa.
02:03:31.000 Like, if the federal government comes and says nobody leaves and nobody goes in, like, oh, fucking Christ.
02:03:36.000 Are we really doing that?
02:03:37.000 And Cuomo's like, look, that's not a good thing to do.
02:03:42.000 If you bring in the military and have tanks and shit, everybody's freaking out about next step, right?
02:03:47.000 What is next level when you say quarantine?
02:03:49.000 And now Trump is given into this idea that it's going to take until April 30th.
02:03:54.000 So he's given up on his Easter idea, and now he's saying, you know, that doesn't look realistic.
02:04:00.000 It looks more like April 30, just for the personal space guidelines.
02:04:05.000 And then he said June 1st right after that.
02:04:06.000 He's like, June looks like a great, it'll be a great time.
02:04:08.000 But what about May?
02:04:09.000 Yeah, what about May?
02:04:11.000 Yeah, I think it's June 1st sounds like a way more realistic thing then.
02:04:16.000 Dude, imagine if everybody's out of work for three months.
02:04:19.000 Do you know how nuts that's going to be?
02:04:22.000 All these people that had thriving businesses and through no fault of their own, they lost all that they worked for for decades.
02:04:29.000 All these people that are taking care of their families, all these people that are raising kids, putting kids in school, putting kids in daycare while they're at work, all that shit.
02:04:38.000 There's so much of a disruption here.
02:04:41.000 And no one knows what to do.
02:04:42.000 No one has a solution.
02:04:44.000 But people are blaming Trump.
02:04:46.000 Like, look, man, what if he was right?
02:04:48.000 What if we were on the bright side of this thing and they caught it early and his rosy predictions proved true?
02:04:55.000 That would be great.
02:04:56.000 They weren't.
02:04:57.000 But no ones were.
02:04:59.000 No one knew.
02:04:59.000 I mean, some people had a better idea than him, for sure.
02:05:02.000 But no one really knew what was going to go on.
02:05:04.000 And we're really still puzzled by some places.
02:05:06.000 Like, I was talking to this guy that was saying there's a real issue with Italy.
02:05:10.000 Because Italy's numbers are so out of whack.
02:05:12.000 You look at Germany and you look at Italy.
02:05:14.000 Italy has crazy numbers.
02:05:16.000 And they're trying to think lifestyle.
02:05:19.000 They're trying to think close proximity to family members.
02:05:22.000 They're always on top of each other.
02:05:24.000 They live a lot of people to a place.
02:05:25.000 And they social gather all the time.
02:05:27.000 And then they're smoking.
02:05:28.000 They smoke a lot of cigarettes, a lot of smoking.
02:05:31.000 And then there's also a very high population of old people.
02:05:37.000 So then they look at Germany, and this is why I always tell you, if you have a choice between an Italian car and a German car, you get a fucking German car all day.
02:05:43.000 Because Germans are very, very fucking disciplined.
02:05:47.000 And they're structured, and they think things out, and they engineer things well.
02:05:53.000 And for whatever reason, whether it's because their hospital system is better, whether it's because it's a genetic thing, whether it's because more people over there have better healthcare and they get treated quicker, their mortality rate is really low.
02:06:08.000 It's weird.
02:06:09.000 Have you read about Sweden?
02:06:10.000 Did you find a thing about Sweden?
02:06:12.000 What are they saying?
02:06:15.000 They have closed colleges and universities.
02:06:17.000 They've limited restaurants to like 50 people, but they are saying that people can eat in them.
02:06:23.000 Schools for kids under 16 are closed, but it's like voluntary for everything else, like voluntary lockdown.
02:06:30.000 They're expecting people to make the right decision.
02:06:32.000 That's their take on it.
02:06:34.000 What's that little thing you got there, fella?
02:06:36.000 Just charger.
02:06:37.000 Oh, I thought that was maybe one of them weird phones.
02:06:40.000 You know how they have those...
02:06:41.000 The little baby ones?
02:06:41.000 Well, they have those foldables.
02:06:44.000 Oh, I want one so bad.
02:06:45.000 Do you, though?
02:06:46.000 I do.
02:06:46.000 I want the, not the Razer, but the Samsung one.
02:06:50.000 That one looks cool.
02:06:51.000 Well, they have two Samsungs.
02:06:53.000 One that folds like a clamshell.
02:06:55.000 Yeah, the clamshell.
02:06:56.000 That's the move, right?
02:06:57.000 Yeah.
02:06:57.000 But you think you could be okay with Android?
02:06:59.000 I think it would be good as a second phone.
02:07:01.000 The thing about Android, man, is those iMessage group chats and FaceTime and AirDrop.
02:07:11.000 AirDrop's huge.
02:07:12.000 They're so wise.
02:07:14.000 Apple did such a clever move in sucking us into their net.
02:07:17.000 I like it, man.
02:07:18.000 You can't get out like this.
02:07:20.000 We're the spider's web.
02:07:24.000 Because I have a Samsung phone.
02:07:26.000 I have a Galaxy Note 10. It's a great phone.
02:07:29.000 I like to use that for looking at stuff, like watching YouTube videos and stuff like that.
02:07:34.000 It's a huge screen.
02:07:35.000 It's got no bezels, basically.
02:07:37.000 And one little tiny hole punch in it.
02:07:39.000 It's killer.
02:07:40.000 And the 5G is nice.
02:07:42.000 It's nice, but I've never used it once.
02:07:44.000 It's nice that it's there.
02:07:46.000 But the thing about it is, it doesn't get AirDrop.
02:07:49.000 If someone wants to send me a picture, they have to text it to me.
02:07:51.000 I might not even get it.
02:07:53.000 The Samsung does, or I mean, Android does have their version of AirDrop, but I can never get it to work.
02:07:57.000 I don't think you can do it to Apple, and Apple can't do it to them.
02:08:01.000 Fuck off.
02:08:02.000 I have no problems with the iPhone.
02:08:04.000 But it's just interesting that they figured out a way to do that, to rope us into their net.
02:08:09.000 Because if they didn't rope us into their net, then it's like, you could get a really good Android phone now.
02:08:17.000 Right now, they have that Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra.
02:08:22.000 Have you seen that?
02:08:22.000 Yeah, that looks great.
02:08:23.000 That thing is a tablet.
02:08:24.000 You're carrying around an iPad.
02:08:26.000 It's huge!
02:08:28.000 Look at that camera, though.
02:08:29.000 Oh my god.
02:08:30.000 What is it, 108 megapixels?
02:08:31.000 Something like that, yeah.
02:08:32.000 That is so ridiculous.
02:08:33.000 And then it has 100x zoom.
02:08:36.000 If you go to digital zoom, it's like 3x optical and 100x digital.
02:08:41.000 I don't even think it's 3x optical.
02:08:43.000 I think it's something like 30 or something like that.
02:08:45.000 Really?
02:08:45.000 Yeah, because it uses a periscope, not periscope.
02:08:49.000 Telescoping lens?
02:08:50.000 Yeah, it's like a mirror.
02:08:51.000 We're both morons.
02:08:52.000 Listen to us.
02:08:54.000 We both know each other.
02:08:56.000 Yeah, I know.
02:08:57.000 I know what you're saying.
02:08:58.000 But it's so big, I switched to the little iPhone.
02:09:01.000 I went to the little one.
02:09:02.000 Now, that's something I think in the future I'm going to start, because I bought my girlfriend the smaller version of the 11 Pro or whatever.
02:09:09.000 It's the best one.
02:09:09.000 And it's way better.
02:09:10.000 It doesn't sit weird in my pocket.
02:09:13.000 That was the other thing.
02:09:14.000 Like, the big one in my front pocket, it was like, first of all, what kind of radiation am I getting on my dick?
02:09:18.000 Yeah.
02:09:18.000 Lots.
02:09:19.000 Yeah.
02:09:19.000 I'm making some weird fucking Doctor Strange kids.
02:09:22.000 But the other thing is, like, this thing fits.
02:09:25.000 It's big enough.
02:09:26.000 Like, if I'm looking at shit, it's fucking big enough.
02:09:28.000 But it fits perfectly in your hand.
02:09:31.000 You know?
02:09:31.000 It's not too heavy.
02:09:32.000 Yeah.
02:09:33.000 I've been wearing my watch a lot lately and just leaving my phone at home because I have to— Oh, you're a daredevil!
02:09:37.000 Because the number's connected.
02:09:39.000 Yeah.
02:09:39.000 So if somebody calls me or texts me, I get it on my watch.
02:09:41.000 Except Android people, you're fucked.
02:09:44.000 Oh, that's right.
02:09:44.000 I think so.
02:09:45.000 They probably can call you.
02:09:47.000 You have a cell phone chip.
02:09:48.000 Yeah, they can call me.
02:09:49.000 They can text you, but they can't iMessage you?
02:09:51.000 Or does it get SMS as well?
02:09:53.000 Oh, I guess it does work on SMS. Yeah.
02:09:55.000 What am I thinking?
02:09:56.000 My sister sends me these voice-to-text checks, and I guess she does it while she's driving.
02:10:02.000 And I'm like, do you ever read these?
02:10:05.000 They're the worst interpretation of what you said.
02:10:09.000 There's no periods in any of it.
02:10:11.000 And I look through it.
02:10:11.000 I'm like, what are you saying?
02:10:13.000 She just rambles into her phone and then sends me this text message.
02:10:16.000 It's hilarious.
02:10:17.000 Yeah.
02:10:18.000 She's busy.
02:10:18.000 She doesn't have time to read it.
02:10:19.000 I get it.
02:10:20.000 I'm not mad at her.
02:10:20.000 But I'm like, what in the hell?
02:10:22.000 And then I sent it to her.
02:10:23.000 I go, did you read this?
02:10:24.000 And she laughs at me.
02:10:25.000 But it's so bad.
02:10:28.000 You know, like you can't yet leave a whole conversation with somebody.
02:10:33.000 You can say a thing.
02:10:34.000 It's pretty close.
02:10:35.000 It's pretty close.
02:10:35.000 You can leave a note.
02:10:37.000 But when you want to make like a long story, first of all, my sister's from Boston, right?
02:10:42.000 She's got a Boston, heavy Boston accent, you know?
02:10:46.000 You should post these.
02:10:48.000 She got it.
02:10:48.000 I had it when, no.
02:10:49.000 I had it.
02:10:50.000 I had that accent when I was 19 until I hurt myself on television.
02:10:53.000 When I was 19, I fought in the Bay State games and this local news station interviewed me and I had this terrible accent.
02:11:01.000 I was like, oh my God, listen to me.
02:11:03.000 I'm a moron.
02:11:04.000 Do you have that on video?
02:11:06.000 I wish I did.
02:11:07.000 I don't have it anymore.
02:11:08.000 There's a bunch of my old taekwondo day stuff that I used to have that I just wanted to shed when I was moving on with my life.
02:11:16.000 The only reason it was a video of me fighting at all, even online, even though I had videos, was because this guy that I knew from back in the day, he was on another team.
02:11:24.000 We knew each other back when we were both young and competing, sent me this stuff.
02:11:29.000 So this is the one video of me sending some guy flying through the air.
02:11:32.000 That's from him.
02:11:33.000 He caught that in 1987 US Cup in Connecticut.
02:11:42.000 Yeah.
02:11:42.000 So I have the medals.
02:11:44.000 I have a bunch of medals just sitting around.
02:11:46.000 I look at them every now and then and it seems like I'm lying.
02:11:49.000 They don't even look like they're mine.
02:11:50.000 They seem fake.
02:11:51.000 They seem fake.
02:11:53.000 Like I think about the Taekwondo days and I look at those things and I'm like, those are mine.
02:11:58.000 Is that really mine?
02:11:59.000 That's a planted memory, Joe.
02:12:00.000 That didn't happen.
02:12:00.000 I don't have real video of it other than that one video.
02:12:03.000 The only time I know it's real is when I kick the bag.
02:12:07.000 I'm like, oh yeah, I can do this.
02:12:09.000 It's some weird thing that I can still do.
02:12:13.000 You ever seen Chappelle do backflips?
02:12:15.000 No.
02:12:15.000 Chappelle Lacey?
02:12:16.000 Not Dave Chappelle.
02:12:17.000 Chappelle Lacey.
02:12:18.000 Dave Chappelle can do a backflip?
02:12:20.000 Chappelle Lacey is like three Dave Chappelle's in the same height.
02:12:24.000 If you took Dave's body and packed in through, I mean, he's a fucking savage.
02:12:29.000 He's so jacked.
02:12:30.000 And he's got ridiculous athletic ability because of years of being a cheerleader.
02:12:36.000 He's a world champion cheerleader.
02:12:38.000 Dude, he throws himself through the air and you cannot believe it because he's a tank.
02:12:43.000 He's probably 230, somewhere around in that range, solid rock, and flips through the air.
02:12:50.000 Throws himself through the air.
02:12:52.000 Does backflips in the back.
02:12:53.000 Look at this.
02:12:54.000 Watch this.
02:12:54.000 This is him.
02:12:55.000 Oh, okay.
02:12:56.000 It'll replay.
02:12:57.000 Watch this.
02:12:57.000 Oh, that's him.
02:12:59.000 Watch this.
02:13:00.000 This is ridiculous, dude.
02:13:03.000 Holy shit.
02:13:04.000 It doesn't seem possible to do that.
02:13:06.000 But if you're tiny, if you're a 135 pound person, that's one thing.
02:13:11.000 He's, I mean, no bullshit, a solid 235, 240. Built like a brick shithouse.
02:13:17.000 Look at him, he throws this girl up in the air and catches her.
02:13:19.000 Wow.
02:13:20.000 Over his head.
02:13:21.000 Look at that.
02:13:22.000 That's ridiculous.
02:13:23.000 Dang.
02:13:24.000 That's ridiculous.
02:13:27.000 He's a cheerleader?
02:13:28.000 He was a professional.
02:13:30.000 There's no real professional.
02:13:32.000 But he was a competitive world champion cheerleader.
02:13:35.000 What were we just talking about?
02:13:36.000 Why did I bring him up?
02:13:39.000 Chappelle.
02:13:40.000 God damn his weed.
02:13:41.000 Backflip?
02:13:42.000 But before the backflip.
02:13:43.000 Dave Chappelle.
02:13:44.000 No, before that.
02:13:45.000 God damn it.
02:13:47.000 We're talking about people...
02:13:50.000 No, no, it was past that.
02:13:51.000 We're talking about people who can do crazy things physically.
02:13:56.000 That's probably what it is.
02:13:57.000 That you wouldn't expect.
02:13:58.000 You're like, what?
02:13:59.000 How do you do that?
02:14:00.000 But it's the same thing with him.
02:14:02.000 Like, he started doing that when he was really young.
02:14:04.000 So his body developed throwing itself through the air.
02:14:07.000 But a normal person his size, it's so hard to get air when you're that heavy.
02:14:13.000 Those guys who get air, if you see them at like a gymnastics event, they're like 160, 170 pounds.
02:14:18.000 Watch this.
02:14:20.000 That's craziness.
02:14:21.000 Dude, I mean, he flies through the air.
02:14:23.000 It's like you kicking a bag.
02:14:25.000 It's kind of like that in that he's doing this because he developed his body while doing this.
02:14:32.000 And when he was real little by himself, he used to practice doing backflips and shit.
02:14:36.000 So by the time he got into cheerleading, he was already physically capable of doing that.
02:14:40.000 He grew up doing it.
02:14:42.000 And when your body grows up doing something...
02:14:44.000 We used to say that about strikers.
02:14:46.000 Some strikers...
02:14:48.000 Some people learn how to strike.
02:14:49.000 They can learn how to strike later in life.
02:14:50.000 They still pick it up pretty well just because they're real fast and explosive.
02:14:53.000 But there's a thing that guys have when they start out striking at a very early age.
02:14:58.000 Like Floyd Mayweather is a perfect example.
02:15:00.000 The really elite of the elite seem to all start out when they're young and sort of develop into fighting as their body matures, like Tyson.
02:15:09.000 Like Sugar Ray Leonard.
02:15:11.000 Like, a lot of these guys had extensive amateur backgrounds and then, you know, developed into a male professional with, you know, some of them 100-plus fights in the amateurs.
02:15:22.000 Like Vasily Lomachenko had hundreds and hundreds of fights in the amateurs and won, I think, two Olympic gold medals before he ever became professional.
02:15:32.000 And those guys, they were just head and shoulders above everybody else.
02:15:38.000 Because developing as your body's maturing and you're being coached by world-class coaches like Floyd Mayweather was, you just get this sense of this sport that other people are never going to get.
02:15:50.000 They're never going to get to your level.
02:15:52.000 You're just on this crazy level.
02:15:53.000 The only way they're going to beat you is if they catch you with a perfectly placed punch with anybody you can get hit with and you get knocked out.
02:15:58.000 But other than that, if it's just like boxing for boxing, Floyd Mayweather is a zen master.
02:16:04.000 He's got this sense of the sport that most guys just will never have.
02:16:08.000 If you watch him fight, a lot of people hate on him because he talks a lot of shit and he's got a lot of money and he wants everybody to know it.
02:16:15.000 But that's also how he sells pay-per-views, dummy.
02:16:17.000 He talks a lot of shit and you get mad and you wind up seeing him get beat but nobody can beat him.
02:16:20.000 But when he fought Canelo Alvarez, that was a real wake-up call for people because Canelo is a monster.
02:16:26.000 He's a terrifying boxer.
02:16:27.000 And Foy Mayweather just pieced him up.
02:16:30.000 Pieced him up!
02:16:31.000 Just pieced him up.
02:16:32.000 Just put on a show.
02:16:33.000 Put on a boxing clinic.
02:16:34.000 And you walk to him and you're like, wow!
02:16:37.000 He has a special understanding of that sport that I don't think you get if you start when you're 30. I don't think you ever get there.
02:16:45.000 I think you need to be already elite in your 20s if you want to get to your peak as a 30, 32-year-old athlete, somewhere in that range.
02:16:54.000 At the top of the game, at the apex, you kind of need to learn as you're a baby.
02:16:59.000 You know?
02:17:01.000 It's a fucking weird thing, man.
02:17:03.000 When we get old, we suck at learning things.
02:17:06.000 You know, it's nature's way of telling you, bitch, pick a lane.
02:17:10.000 Pick something.
02:17:11.000 TikTok, get out of here!
02:17:13.000 When was the last time you tried to learn a new thing?
02:17:15.000 Like a new skill?
02:17:17.000 Uh...
02:17:18.000 Or a language?
02:17:20.000 Well, relearning PC. Are you relearning PC? Yeah.
02:17:23.000 To play games?
02:17:24.000 Virtual reality.
02:17:25.000 I tell you, it's frustrating as fuck.
02:17:28.000 I had to download a program the other day just to put a 3D model in just so I could upload it into a game.
02:17:36.000 It's so not like Mac.
02:17:39.000 You have to actually dig in and do code stuff.
02:17:44.000 Do you have to enter DOS? Do you go into DOS? I was doing whatever they're...
02:17:48.000 Terminal?
02:17:48.000 Yeah, I think it is DOS. It's DOS? Yeah.
02:17:50.000 You did that?
02:17:50.000 I did something like that, yeah.
02:17:52.000 You did the command?
02:17:52.000 In Unix, or whatever it's called.
02:17:54.000 Unix is, that's what Apple's based on.
02:17:58.000 Is it?
02:17:58.000 Yeah, Apple's based on Unix, right?
02:18:00.000 Mac OS. It used to be at least.
02:18:02.000 But Windows isn't Unix, right?
02:18:04.000 You're talking about a different program?
02:18:05.000 I had to download a program just to put this 3D model in, and I think it was Unix.
02:18:10.000 So you can download a Unix program on Windows?
02:18:13.000 Yeah.
02:18:13.000 Yeah, in Mac.
02:18:15.000 I don't do shit with my Windows computer other than write.
02:18:17.000 Right.
02:18:18.000 It's my writing computer.
02:18:19.000 That's your writing computer?
02:18:20.000 Yes, yes.
02:18:20.000 To me, it's so much...
02:18:24.000 Sloppy.
02:18:25.000 Sloppy.
02:18:25.000 There's so many windows popping up still.
02:18:27.000 There's so many dumb things.
02:18:29.000 Like, why are you asking me this?
02:18:30.000 It wants to update all the time.
02:18:32.000 Yeah.
02:18:32.000 And when it updates, it'll take like 20 minutes.
02:18:34.000 I'm like, you fucker.
02:18:35.000 He didn't tell me how long it was going to take.
02:18:36.000 Now I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand trying to write.
02:18:42.000 I've heard a lot of people complain about the Apple update thing too, because most people don't hit the update now and they're just like, no tomorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow.
02:18:49.000 And it keeps getting after you?
02:18:50.000 Well, those people are stupid.
02:18:51.000 It's a different animal.
02:18:53.000 We're talking about morons.
02:18:54.000 But for writing, man, you cannot, if you want to just have a laptop, you can't beat those ThinkPads.
02:19:01.000 Those Lenovo ThinkPads, the keyboards are so much better.
02:19:05.000 It makes such a big difference.
02:19:07.000 It's the whole difference.
02:19:08.000 It's the whole difference.
02:19:10.000 Because if I looked at it in terms of the quality of the screen and with the Mac ecosystem, once you're in that ecosystem, everything's sort of connected to your laptop.
02:19:21.000 But the keyboard on those Lenovos is like...
02:19:26.000 Like, you know where every key is, your fingers fit in that little groove, and when you push them down, there's like this satisfying amount of travel, and you know what you're doing.
02:19:37.000 I make so fewer errors than I do even with the new one.
02:19:40.000 I got that 16-inch one, the new one.
02:19:42.000 It still sucks.
02:19:43.000 Yeah.
02:19:43.000 It still sucks.
02:19:44.000 It's better for sure than the last keyboard.
02:19:46.000 It's way better than the last one.
02:19:48.000 Way better.
02:19:48.000 Way better.
02:19:48.000 But it still sucks.
02:19:49.000 Why wouldn't you make the best keyboard ever?
02:19:51.000 Why would you make a keyboard that still sucks?
02:19:53.000 When you know that those Lenovo keyboards are out there.
02:19:56.000 You know they're out there.
02:19:57.000 Somebody must have told you.
02:19:58.000 Somebody must have told you that there's a ThinkPad keyboard that's literally 500 times better than your shitty keyboard.
02:20:03.000 Or just the one they had two years ago.
02:20:04.000 Like, I give my ex or my girlfriend...
02:20:06.000 2015. Yeah.
02:20:07.000 I gave my girlfriend my old computer and I was playing on that keyboard.
02:20:10.000 I'm like, this is way better than the 16-inch.
02:20:13.000 Like, why aren't we using this?
02:20:14.000 You know why?
02:20:14.000 Key travel.
02:20:15.000 Yeah.
02:20:16.000 Back then, you had more key travel.
02:20:18.000 Yeah.
02:20:18.000 Dude, I have that 17-inch.
02:20:20.000 That has a fuck load.
02:20:20.000 Is that refurbished?
02:20:21.000 Yes.
02:20:22.000 Has a fuck load of key travel.
02:20:24.000 Right.
02:20:24.000 I know where every key is and I press them.
02:20:26.000 And they took the guts out and put a new gut in.
02:20:28.000 Oh, that sounds great.
02:20:29.000 SSD drive.
02:20:30.000 Yes.
02:20:31.000 But when you press those keys, man, there's a satisfying amount of travel.
02:20:34.000 It lets you know you're pressing it.
02:20:36.000 And that's more feedback for your fingers, so you're more confident when you're typing.
02:20:40.000 When everything's flat, the same surface, like, ew.
02:20:42.000 Yeah.
02:20:43.000 Ew.
02:20:43.000 Like, how good do you type on an iPad?
02:20:46.000 When you have to open it up as a keyboard and you do that?
02:20:48.000 Ew!
02:20:49.000 Ew!
02:20:49.000 Ew!
02:20:49.000 Get out of here!
02:20:50.000 No, no, no, that new iPad keyboard, have you seen that?
02:20:53.000 Oh, that's different.
02:20:53.000 That looks sick!
02:20:54.000 That does look sick.
02:20:55.000 But then what is that?
02:20:56.000 Is that an iPad or a fucking computer?
02:20:57.000 Right.
02:20:58.000 What is that?
02:20:58.000 Well, it's faster than their Mac Airs or whatever.
02:21:02.000 Really?
02:21:02.000 Yeah, I guess it's faster.
02:21:05.000 This is my thought.
02:21:07.000 When you're gonna use a computer, shouldn't it be comfortable?
02:21:10.000 And shouldn't it be most effective to use?
02:21:14.000 Like, aren't those two...
02:21:15.000 You think about the amount of time you spend entering things into a keyboard.
02:21:20.000 Shouldn't it be the most comfortable keyboard you can get?
02:21:23.000 And the keyboard that responds the best?
02:21:26.000 Shouldn't it be?
02:21:27.000 Okay, well, how is that not a giant priority for you?
02:21:29.000 You want everything to look pretty, but you want it to feel like shit?
02:21:33.000 And so even when you know that more travel is better for people that type, especially for touch typists and people who write a lot and creative people, you know that.
02:21:42.000 Why don't you do that?
02:21:43.000 Well, I think that's kind of why people like iPads, because you can bring your own keyboard.
02:21:48.000 Well, you can do that with a laptop, too, for sure.
02:21:50.000 But still, why not do it right like Lenovo does, you fucks?
02:21:54.000 And, by the way, metal doesn't feel good.
02:21:58.000 Why is it metal?
02:21:59.000 Why am I putting my hand on metal?
02:22:00.000 Why is it cold metal digging into my wrists?
02:22:03.000 Why is it aluminum?
02:22:04.000 You want to make it pretty?
02:22:06.000 Why don't you make it out of a softer plastic with curved edges so it doesn't suck?
02:22:10.000 So it doesn't feel weird on your skin?
02:22:12.000 Curved edges, for sure.
02:22:13.000 We want everything.
02:22:15.000 Why are you laughing?
02:22:16.000 You're so deep down in the design discussion meeting, I'm picturing of like, what do you want?
02:22:21.000 You want it to be thinner?
02:22:22.000 I want it to be a ThinkPad.
02:22:23.000 ThinkPad X1, carbon.
02:22:25.000 It weighs nothing.
02:22:26.000 That one was curved.
02:22:27.000 The old 17-inch is curved.
02:22:30.000 When they made that unibody design.
02:22:32.000 That edge will still cut you up.
02:22:33.000 That edge when you're typing, that edge at the bottom, that cuts you up.
02:22:37.000 It's stupid.
02:22:37.000 The first thing I would cut if I was just like, hey, we need to make a new design.
02:22:41.000 I would just shave the keys in half.
02:22:43.000 Because they're probably taking up making the double.
02:22:46.000 You know when you close it?
02:22:47.000 I think that's what they're trying to shrink down, right?
02:22:49.000 When you close it.
02:22:50.000 Shave the keys in half?
02:22:51.000 How would you do that?
02:22:52.000 What do you mean?
02:22:53.000 Like the piece of plastic that they are that you're saying that made them so much better.
02:22:57.000 When you're shrinking the size of a laptop's profile.
02:23:00.000 Oh, yeah.
02:23:00.000 Well, that's what happened.
02:23:01.000 Cut that so you can close it.
02:23:02.000 That's all I'm saying.
02:23:02.000 Like, they just probably did that first.
02:23:04.000 And no one give a fuck.
02:23:05.000 Well, they came out with a patent that they haven't implemented yet of a keyboard that has keys that lower or raise.
02:23:14.000 And this was something that was being discussed.
02:23:15.000 They were thinking, oh, that would be great if Apple had it.
02:23:17.000 You can get it up to 1.5 millimeters or down to like 6 millimeters or 0.6 millimeters if that's what you want.
02:23:24.000 But it's still going to be not as good as the Lenovo one.
02:23:27.000 They're not going that way either.
02:23:28.000 Because the Lenovo one is curved.
02:23:29.000 The Lenovo one, they're little C-shapes, so your fingers fit right into them, and you know where each one is.
02:23:36.000 It's just better.
02:23:37.000 Like, why don't you know it's better?
02:23:40.000 Anyone who types on it knows it's better.
02:23:42.000 You know Lewis from Unbox Therapy?
02:23:45.000 Oh, yeah.
02:23:45.000 Dude, as soon as he started typing on one, he's like, what have I been doing with my life?
02:23:49.000 You should get one of those Lenovo laptops and Hackintosh it.
02:23:52.000 Ooh.
02:23:54.000 I don't use it for enough.
02:23:56.000 It's like, what do I need?
02:23:57.000 I need Microsoft Word.
02:23:59.000 I used to use Write Room a lot, but now I find I can do all the same shit with Word.
02:24:06.000 And then I upload, you know, when I share it with myself, so that I have it on my other computer.
02:24:13.000 But that's all I'm doing with it.
02:24:15.000 I'm writing, you know?
02:24:16.000 Like, it's okay.
02:24:18.000 I know the operating system is more clunky, it's weird, but I don't do anything with it.
02:24:22.000 You know, if I was running a bunch of different programs and I'm just using it as a word processor mostly, it's just way better.
02:24:29.000 It's way better to write on.
02:24:31.000 And it weighs nothing.
02:24:33.000 These fucks, they keep giving us the same thing.
02:24:37.000 Here's your choice, aluminum or aluminum.
02:24:39.000 I think it's going to get worse, too.
02:24:40.000 I think the future is having no keyboard, having an iPad with the haptic feedback.
02:24:47.000 I feel like...
02:24:48.000 That's probably going to be it.
02:24:49.000 Yeah.
02:24:49.000 Well, I think there's still a group of people that really want those mechanical keyboards.
02:24:56.000 And a lot of people hook up mechanical keyboards to their main desktop computer anyway.
02:25:00.000 They just feel better.
02:25:01.000 There's more travel.
02:25:02.000 You know what's going on.
02:25:04.000 Once you get accustomed to that, goddammit, you don't make any errors.
02:25:07.000 You know where each key is.
02:25:10.000 Your fingers sort of fall into place.
02:25:11.000 I mean, if you're a way better typist than me, and many, many, many people are, maybe that keyboard's not as bad.
02:25:16.000 But for me, that keyboard sucks.
02:25:19.000 Especially the old one.
02:25:20.000 The new one's better.
02:25:21.000 The new 16 is better than the old 15 for sure.
02:25:23.000 No doubt about it.
02:25:24.000 But it still sucks.
02:25:25.000 They have a lot of questionable design.
02:25:27.000 One of the biggest design dumb things that Apple's ever done, I thought they would have fixed it by now, but their mouse, how you have to charge it on the bottom.
02:25:37.000 The plug to charge it is on the bottom of it.
02:25:39.000 So say you're out of battery, you can't just plug it and use it like a mouse while it's charging.
02:25:44.000 It pretty much uses it or makes it, you can't use it at all.
02:25:48.000 So you can't use it while it's charging?
02:25:51.000 Right here.
02:25:52.000 Yeah.
02:25:53.000 The plug...
02:25:54.000 Well, I guess this is an old one.
02:25:55.000 Oh, it plugs under it, so you have to open it up and get in there.
02:25:58.000 No, you have to plug it right here, so it's on the bottom.
02:26:01.000 So you can't even use it if you just need to hit enter or something or whatever.
02:26:05.000 It's the dumbest design ever made.
02:26:07.000 They still have it like that?
02:26:08.000 Why don't they just have it at the end?
02:26:09.000 So you could use it like a regular mouse when it's charging.
02:26:12.000 They want you to be responsible and charge your mouse.
02:26:15.000 They shouldn't ask you to be responsible for that.
02:26:16.000 Like, what if something's important and you want to enter it right away?
02:26:19.000 You can't do it?
02:26:20.000 Yeah.
02:26:20.000 Why does iPad not have multiple users, like a computer?
02:26:24.000 So if you want to give your wife your iPad, you could let her log into her own account and say you don't have all your shit open.
02:26:29.000 Oh, it doesn't?
02:26:30.000 No!
02:26:30.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
02:26:31.000 How have they not added multiple logins?
02:26:34.000 But they do that with laptops.
02:26:34.000 But they do it with laptops.
02:26:35.000 Well, that's the difference between Mac OS and iOS, right?
02:26:39.000 iOS, which is used for phones.
02:26:40.000 But that's easily fixable.
02:26:41.000 Yeah, but they're worried.
02:26:42.000 They're about to be all the same thing soon.
02:26:44.000 I don't know when.
02:26:45.000 Jesus.
02:26:45.000 I hope so.
02:26:46.000 There's just going to be OS... Do you think you would ever...
02:26:49.000 See, the thing about Apple, though, they're way better with privacy.
02:26:51.000 Way better with privacy than Google phones.
02:26:54.000 I was reading this thing about Android phones where there's some apps that send information to other apps.
02:27:02.000 They have agreements where apps contact other apps and let those apps know what you're doing.
02:27:09.000 That's how they got all that data for that thing I showed you.
02:27:11.000 It didn't come from nowhere.
02:27:13.000 Yeah, good point.
02:27:14.000 That new Zoom software everyone's using, even if you don't sign in using Facebook or say anything about Facebook, you're still getting your shit sold to Facebook.
02:27:24.000 That's crazy.
02:27:26.000 How is that possible?
02:27:27.000 It's crazy.
02:27:28.000 Well, it's a commodity.
02:27:29.000 You know, it's a commodity, and there was a great guest on the Sam Harris podcast.
02:27:33.000 I wish I could remember it, but this guy was talking about privacy and this very thing.
02:27:36.000 He's like, there became a commodity that we didn't know was going to be a commodity, and we all sold our rights away to it.
02:27:43.000 We all signed the user agreement.
02:27:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:27:46.000 Click agree.
02:27:47.000 Send it.
02:27:47.000 Come on, let me get going.
02:27:48.000 I just want to use it.
02:27:49.000 I don't want to pay attention to what that fucking user...
02:27:51.000 You want seven, eight pages of legalese.
02:27:54.000 You're like, what am I agreeing to?
02:27:56.000 Yeah.
02:27:57.000 You know?
02:27:57.000 Those end user agreements, man, those are one of the sneakiest things that people have ever perpetrated on folks.
02:28:02.000 That South Park episode.
02:28:04.000 By the way, don't you wish South Park was going on right now?
02:28:07.000 I know.
02:28:08.000 If I was Trey, I would be like, dude, let's just do this.
02:28:10.000 He's probably writing.
02:28:12.000 Yeah.
02:28:12.000 He's probably constantly writing anyway.
02:28:14.000 He'll probably have like five episodes ready to go by the time everything gets running.
02:28:17.000 I hope so.
02:28:17.000 Five Corona episodes.
02:28:19.000 I wish what's going on right now.
02:28:20.000 They'll probably be the most fucked up.
02:28:21.000 Oh my god.
02:28:22.000 Did Comedy Central think they had a hard time when they were drawing Muhammad?
02:28:26.000 What kind of a hard time are they going to get from the coronavirus?
02:28:29.000 Yeah.
02:28:33.000 And how bad is comedy going to be for a couple months when comics start getting back on stage?
02:28:38.000 Because no one's been working out.
02:28:42.000 It'll be fine in a week.
02:28:44.000 Not even, depending if you listen to your recordings.
02:28:47.000 If you listen to your recordings, you could get going.
02:28:52.000 I had a dream that I was in the middle of a bit and I forgot how to do it.
02:28:55.000 Oh, fuck.
02:28:56.000 Yeah.
02:28:58.000 It was like a bit that I don't do anymore, so it was even weirder.
02:29:01.000 But it was in the middle of a bit and I was like, God damn it, how's this bit go?
02:29:04.000 I forgot.
02:29:05.000 But if I was going to go up...
02:29:07.000 When this is all down and we're back up and running, I'm going to do short spots at the store and get the legs under you again.
02:29:15.000 You're down for a couple months.
02:29:17.000 Yeah.
02:29:17.000 Stand-up does it all the time.
02:29:20.000 Everyone's going to have Corona jokes, though.
02:29:22.000 It's going to be so gross.
02:29:23.000 It's going to be gross.
02:29:24.000 That's why South Park needs to come out right now.
02:29:27.000 Yeah, comedians are going to have the hot take is going to be so similar.
02:29:32.000 Like, what's the hot take gonna be?
02:29:34.000 There's gonna be, hey, don't eat a fucking bat.
02:29:37.000 There's gonna be that one.
02:29:39.000 There's gonna be jokes about Dos Equis or Modelo.
02:29:42.000 There's gonna be jokes about that.
02:29:43.000 Those are the real obvious ones.
02:29:45.000 Yeah.
02:29:45.000 There's gonna be...
02:29:48.000 There's going to be mean people that are going to make jokes about headed to work, fuck granny, I need to pay my fucking rent, how about you stay home granny?
02:30:02.000 There's going to be those people that have that take on it.
02:30:04.000 It's going to be fun.
02:30:06.000 It's going to be interesting to see if anybody has a perspective that you didn't think.
02:30:13.000 A lot of comics are hitting to IG Live right now, and it's god-awful watching.
02:30:17.000 I cannot stand it.
02:30:19.000 The weirdest thing is comics that thought it was a good idea to do stand-up with no crowd in front of the Laugh Factory.
02:30:24.000 Do you see those?
02:30:25.000 Yeah, or flappers who's charging $5 a person to go on their pay site or something.
02:30:30.000 What?
02:30:31.000 Yeah, flappers out of control.
02:30:32.000 As usual.
02:30:33.000 Some virtual open mic.
02:30:35.000 Five bucks to get on their virtual open mic?
02:30:37.000 Yeah, that they charge for.
02:30:38.000 They're screwing people digitally.
02:30:40.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.
02:30:42.000 In a way, I'd say, hey, they've got to stay open.
02:30:46.000 You know, nobody is more willing to give you money than some crazy open-miker that wants to be seen.
02:30:50.000 Right.
02:30:51.000 Right?
02:30:53.000 Especially someone with a legit job.
02:30:54.000 Like, most of them have a job, and then they do stand up on, you know, their spare time.
02:30:59.000 They've got a little disposable income, probably because they're crazy and they have no friends.
02:31:02.000 Right?
02:31:02.000 So they're not spending it on anything other than medication.
02:31:05.000 The next thing you know, boom!
02:31:07.000 Five bucks for flappers.
02:31:09.000 What if it was, like, one dude who bought the whole block?
02:31:11.000 Mm-hmm.
02:31:12.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
02:31:13.000 Yeah, I want an open-miker who bought the whole day.
02:31:15.000 We could just also go on YouTube and do it all day.
02:31:19.000 No, no, no.
02:31:20.000 He wants the prestigious Flappers brand behind him.
02:31:23.000 And so he does it.
02:31:24.000 He just dominates Flappers' website all day.
02:31:27.000 There was a stand-up video game a few months ago.
02:31:30.000 I don't know what happened.
02:31:31.000 Do you remember Comedy Night or something?
02:31:33.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:33.000 You could go into a place and take your turn doing...
02:31:37.000 I think maybe if you got booed off the Apollo, you're done and the next person goes up.
02:31:42.000 I think Grand Theft Auto was supposed to originally have the comedy store be a comedy club that you can go into.
02:31:48.000 That would be cool.
02:31:49.000 I wish you would do that.
02:31:51.000 Hey, did you see those people singing along to Biggie in Brooklyn?
02:31:54.000 That was not real.
02:31:55.000 It wasn't real.
02:31:56.000 No.
02:31:58.000 I thought so.
02:31:59.000 My wife is the first person who knows nobody's leaning out the windows.
02:32:02.000 No, this is a crowd voice.
02:32:03.000 You could hear it.
02:32:03.000 It's like from an arena.
02:32:04.000 God damn it.
02:32:05.000 Tell it right away.
02:32:06.000 Sons of bitches.
02:32:08.000 They pretend.
02:32:08.000 Dana White, they got him.
02:32:09.000 They got a lot of people.
02:32:10.000 They got Jamie Foxx.
02:32:12.000 Yeah, I was like, that's pretty cool if they did do it.
02:32:14.000 If someone was blasting Biggie and everybody starts singing along.
02:32:17.000 Oh.
02:32:17.000 But nope.
02:32:18.000 That's hilarious.
02:32:19.000 It's not possible.
02:32:20.000 These fucks.
02:32:21.000 Well, it's because the Italians actually did do it.
02:32:23.000 You know, in that apartment complex, and they were all singing into the...
02:32:26.000 What did they?
02:32:27.000 Well, you could see them singing, though.
02:32:30.000 But this one lady came outside, and she was playing the recorder, and her husband fucking smacked it out of her hand.
02:32:34.000 They did a concert last night.
02:32:35.000 Shut the fuck up, what is a thing?
02:32:36.000 On Fox, Fox News, something that was being broadcast live, but almost all of those videos were being lip-synced and whatnot.
02:32:43.000 Oh, boy.
02:32:43.000 Some of it was real, but I was watching.
02:32:45.000 You could see it was fake.
02:32:46.000 I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.
02:32:52.000 Yeah.
02:32:55.000 That's got to be a bummer, man.
02:32:57.000 Imagine if you went on stage to do stand-up and they wanted you to lip-sync your old shit.
02:33:02.000 Imagine if they had an album that you did and you had a lip-sync to the album, including the ad-libs.
02:33:09.000 Has anybody ever tried?
02:33:10.000 Maybe because they lost their voice or something?
02:33:13.000 Like the way that Ashley Simpson did it on SNL and got busted.
02:33:16.000 I never heard of it.
02:33:17.000 Can you imagine comics doing that?
02:33:19.000 That's what I'm asking.
02:33:21.000 That's what he's saying.
02:33:22.000 That's crazy.
02:33:23.000 I could imagine some crazy people doing it.
02:33:27.000 Some people that are really off.
02:33:28.000 People do some dumb shit.
02:33:30.000 I can imagine.
02:33:33.000 We have this random thing, I don't know if I ever told you this, on Kill Tony, where we'll have Joe Rogan calling in, and it's just me on Spotify going, alright, what are we talking about, gays?
02:33:43.000 Alright, click on gays, and let's go 10 seconds into it and just press play.
02:33:48.000 Like, Joe, what's going on?
02:33:49.000 And we just randomly hit you saying things.
02:33:51.000 And when it works, it's the funniest shit ever.
02:33:55.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
02:33:56.000 I'm a soundboard.
02:33:57.000 No!
02:33:59.000 Random.
02:33:59.000 No!
02:34:00.000 Sometimes it doesn't work.
02:34:00.000 So you guys are still doing Kill Tony.
02:34:03.000 Yeah, we're doing it tonight.
02:34:05.000 We're doing a lot of phone-ins and call-ins.
02:34:07.000 It's mostly just me, Tony, and Jeremiah.
02:34:09.000 It's a good move to keep doing it, man.
02:34:11.000 Because these are going to be...
02:34:13.000 First of all, when people look back, they're going to look back at these shows where you guys were...
02:34:18.000 On, you know, downtime, and you're like, these motherfuckers are committed to this show.
02:34:22.000 But even though they're completely quarantined, you can't do any live shows, they did all their shows by themselves with no live show, and you'll keep all your audience.
02:34:30.000 Yeah.
02:34:31.000 Yeah.
02:34:31.000 It's very cool, too, that when they made this stay-at-home order, they included podcasts as being essential.
02:34:36.000 Yes.
02:34:36.000 Which was very cool.
02:34:38.000 Or medias.
02:34:39.000 Or medias.
02:34:39.000 Yeah.
02:34:39.000 We're very important.
02:34:40.000 Yeah, and, you know, yeah, we're all safe.
02:34:42.000 We're not high-fiving and kissing each other like we normally do.
02:34:46.000 But...
02:34:47.000 And it does feel good to do.
02:34:48.000 Me and Holtzman still are doing the podcast.
02:34:52.000 People like it because they're so depressed at home.
02:34:56.000 And seeing us not freaking out and just having a conversation like we're doing right now, it's like, oh, maybe I need to chill out a little bit.
02:35:04.000 People need to chill out.
02:35:05.000 They do, but also some shit needs to change.
02:35:07.000 Yeah.
02:35:08.000 I don't know what can change, though, man.
02:35:10.000 I mean, you watch that video of those fucking cell phones spreading across and thinking about the virus spreading across.
02:35:16.000 Like, how can you lighten things up and still keep people from getting infected?
02:35:20.000 That's the great question.
02:35:21.000 And why do some people have almost no reaction to it?
02:35:23.000 Why are some people asymptomatic?
02:35:25.000 That's the scary thing about new diseases, man.
02:35:28.000 You know, when something new comes along, they're all like, what is this?
02:35:32.000 That's one thing I like about this.
02:35:35.000 I don't have to give anybody my joint.
02:35:37.000 Just hold on to these.
02:35:38.000 I think that's the future.
02:35:39.000 Or glass tips.
02:35:40.000 Get your own, bitch.
02:35:41.000 Even glass tips.
02:35:42.000 Who knows what kind of spittles inside that fucking disgusting thing.
02:35:46.000 Blue light glass tip.
02:35:46.000 I'm sucking in through the new glass tip.
02:35:49.000 Fuck out of here.
02:35:50.000 Yeah.
02:35:52.000 Get the fuck out of here.
02:35:54.000 Bong hits.
02:35:55.000 Ew!
02:35:56.000 How about the fucking...
02:35:57.000 Remember that vaporizer bag we used to have?
02:35:59.000 The volcano?
02:35:59.000 Oh, the volcano!
02:36:00.000 Oh my god, would we get obliterated with that thing?
02:36:02.000 That was funny.
02:36:03.000 You still have that?
02:36:04.000 Yes!
02:36:05.000 Kept it.
02:36:06.000 It's storage.
02:36:07.000 Did you still have that bong that was like 10 feet tall that was...
02:36:10.000 Yeah, I gave that to somebody.
02:36:12.000 Fuck did I give that to?
02:36:14.000 Oh no.
02:36:14.000 I don't know.
02:36:15.000 I gave it to somebody.
02:36:17.000 Maybe Tony's got it or something.
02:36:19.000 I had too many bongs, and I never used any of them.
02:36:22.000 I think it was beautiful, though.
02:36:23.000 Oh, that crazy sculpture one?
02:36:24.000 I used that one because it was so beautiful, so ridiculous.
02:36:28.000 It was like a piece of art, but that just happened to get you high.
02:36:32.000 That was nice.
02:36:33.000 Eddie and I, that was like the early days of my pot smoking too.
02:36:36.000 I thought it was a good idea to have some ridiculous sculpture, some ode to weed in my living room.
02:36:42.000 Yeah.
02:36:43.000 You had that cool media room.
02:36:47.000 The gold Buddha.
02:36:49.000 Such a weird time right now that I keep thinking of what it's going to be like on the other end.
02:36:58.000 You know, instead of just living, which I never really do, I never really think what's it going to be like on the other end.
02:37:06.000 I always just do stuff.
02:37:07.000 You know, like whether I'm doing a Netflix special or whether I'm doing podcasts or doing stand-up, I just do stuff.
02:37:15.000 I don't think like, oh, I do it like this.
02:37:18.000 One day it'll be that, and then maybe people will like this, and maybe they'll...
02:37:22.000 I just keep doing it.
02:37:23.000 But now I'm like, what is going to be here?
02:37:27.000 What is society going to be like with no restaurants?
02:37:31.000 What is society going to be like with 50% unemployment?
02:37:34.000 What is society going to be like if that disease kicks in again?
02:37:39.000 And what's going to survive?
02:37:40.000 So I'm wondering about the future now.
02:37:42.000 I never wonder about the future.
02:37:43.000 I always just kind of do.
02:37:45.000 I'm so lucky now.
02:37:47.000 I realize so, so lucky that I can do that, that I can just concentrate on the shit I enjoy doing.
02:37:53.000 And the big advantage of that, too, is it helps you be good at that thing because you have less stress.
02:37:58.000 You have less things you're thinking about.
02:38:00.000 Mm-hmm.
02:38:01.000 More sleep for everybody.
02:38:02.000 But now, everybody's got to be a prepper.
02:38:05.000 Everybody's got to be a little paranoid.
02:38:06.000 Everybody's got to be a little whacked out by this.
02:38:09.000 Everybody does.
02:38:10.000 Even people like you and I that would want to just blow it off and live in the moment.
02:38:14.000 Now you can't.
02:38:16.000 Especially if you have people you love that are relying on you.
02:38:19.000 You have to have food now.
02:38:20.000 You have to keep food in your fucking house.
02:38:22.000 Find toilet paper.
02:38:24.000 That was a weird one.
02:38:25.000 It is weird.
02:38:26.000 I'm glad I have a bidet.
02:38:27.000 Why didn't everybody go crazy for food?
02:38:29.000 Why did everybody worry about wiping their ass?
02:38:30.000 Why is that the number one thing that seemed to be the issue?
02:38:33.000 More than water.
02:38:34.000 Yeah.
02:38:34.000 Water makes more sense than toilet paper.
02:38:36.000 Water makes a ton of sense, and so does food, like dry food.
02:38:40.000 Get oats, right?
02:38:42.000 Get oatmeal, shit like that, rice, stuff that lasts a long ass time.
02:38:47.000 You need pasta.
02:38:48.000 You need stuff that you could just make with a fire and a pan and some water.
02:38:52.000 You need to be able to just have stuff that'll keep you alive for X amount of days.
02:38:57.000 That's what you need.
02:38:58.000 You don't need toilet paper.
02:38:59.000 You need a rag and a sink.
02:39:01.000 And there you go.
02:39:02.000 You got a clean asshole.
02:39:03.000 Ta-da!
02:39:03.000 You know?
02:39:04.000 Or get one of them ones that we got in here.
02:39:06.000 Squirty up the booty hoses thing.
02:39:08.000 Love it.
02:39:08.000 Woo!
02:39:09.000 They have a new one that was a sponsor that you can attach to the back of a toilet.
02:39:14.000 It's not expensive either.
02:39:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
02:39:16.000 What is that called?
02:39:18.000 Tushy?
02:39:18.000 Tushy, right?
02:39:19.000 Yeah.
02:39:20.000 How much does that cost?
02:39:21.000 It's very reasonable.
02:39:21.000 It starts off at $79.
02:39:23.000 Yeah, so for 80 bucks, you get a clean asshole and you save a million dollars on toilet paper.
02:39:28.000 And it takes like three minutes to install, and it's the same water that you brush your teeth with.
02:39:33.000 Perfect.
02:39:33.000 It goes right into the sink after you clean your asshole.
02:39:37.000 No.
02:39:38.000 No, it's not that water.
02:39:39.000 No, no, no.
02:39:40.000 I mean, it's the same water.
02:39:41.000 I know.
02:39:41.000 It's real water.
02:39:42.000 That was on the read, and that was my favorite thing to say.
02:39:45.000 It's the same thing.
02:39:46.000 It's cleaning your butthole.
02:39:47.000 The warm water one is only $30 more.
02:39:49.000 Oh, splurge, folks.
02:39:51.000 Unless you're a hard-ass.
02:39:53.000 Unless you're one of them Navy SEAL-type dudes who likes to suffer.
02:39:55.000 Yeah.
02:39:57.000 If you decide to get a more expensive one, you can skip the air drying one because it just makes the whole place smell like your asshole.
02:40:04.000 It's disgusting.
02:40:04.000 I don't like the air dryer.
02:40:06.000 I went over this person's house once and they had a bidet and inside their bidet was a bar of soap.
02:40:12.000 I was going to take a leak.
02:40:13.000 There's a bar of soap and a wet rag and I was like, ew!
02:40:17.000 Ew!
02:40:17.000 Gross.
02:40:18.000 Ew!
02:40:19.000 Because that's how you use it.
02:40:20.000 You get in there with that soap, you wash the old poop chute, and that water shoots up.
02:40:25.000 The bidet is like the most un-ergonomically friendly thing that's ever been designed, ever.
02:40:29.000 It's basically if you fall, And slip.
02:40:33.000 If something happens and you got like slippery socks on or shoes, you fall, that pipe is going right up your asshole.
02:40:40.000 That stupid pipe.
02:40:43.000 It's in the middle.
02:40:43.000 How do you fall?
02:40:44.000 People fall all the time, Jamie.
02:40:46.000 People die trying to climb fences.
02:40:49.000 Do you know that?
02:40:49.000 Those spikes on fences kill people every year.
02:40:53.000 Coconut.
02:40:54.000 You slip and fall on the bidet and it punctures your asshole like a robot dick.
02:41:01.000 Think about what that thing looks like.
02:41:03.000 It looks like the top of a hammer.
02:41:06.000 The one we got, it doesn't come out until you hit the button.
02:41:08.000 It's like a little robot arm.
02:41:09.000 That's different, but it's not a bidet.
02:41:12.000 I'm talking about a bidet.
02:41:14.000 No, no, no, no.
02:41:15.000 That's a bidet seat.
02:41:17.000 A real bidet.
02:41:20.000 You're like, what?
02:41:22.000 That's why it didn't make sense to you.
02:41:25.000 You're talking like the real schoolie.
02:41:28.000 You're imagining Joe like, no, don't come in my ass!
02:41:31.000 These folks, it was a French doctor and his wife.
02:41:34.000 We were over their house.
02:41:35.000 They were French.
02:41:36.000 And they had this bidet.
02:41:39.000 And it looks like, you know, if you slip...
02:41:43.000 Like, you're getting your butthole cleaned by this little fucking pipe that's sticking straight up.
02:41:49.000 It sprays water, and you're supposed to get up in there with soap, wash it down.
02:41:53.000 Nope.
02:41:54.000 That's the way to do it, though.
02:41:55.000 Better than the way we do it, I'll smear and everything.
02:41:57.000 There it is.
02:41:58.000 So that's a safe one.
02:42:00.000 Some of them have protuberance.
02:42:03.000 You used to have one like that, right?
02:42:04.000 Yeah.
02:42:05.000 Some of them, yeah.
02:42:06.000 No!
02:42:07.000 No, Jim, what is that?
02:42:09.000 That's a broken toilet.
02:42:10.000 That is not a bidet.
02:42:12.000 Jesus Christ, son.
02:42:15.000 I'm trying to find one.
02:42:17.000 I'm trying to find one that sticks out more.
02:42:21.000 All right.
02:42:21.000 I'm going to give up here.
02:42:23.000 What did that circle?
02:42:24.000 Look at the drawing to the left with the red circle.
02:42:28.000 Click on that.
02:42:29.000 See, these look small.
02:42:31.000 Maybe someone's a cruel person that had the house that I was in.
02:42:35.000 Yeah, maybe it was one of those douche sticks.
02:42:37.000 I know when I used to date that porn star, she used to have the anal douche pole.
02:42:40.000 Maybe it was.
02:42:42.000 That's a lot of work right here.
02:42:44.000 Jesus, that's a hose?
02:42:45.000 Look at this one.
02:42:45.000 Wow.
02:42:46.000 I was in New York once, and I posted it on Instagram.
02:42:49.000 The shitter had not one, but two hoses.
02:42:52.000 Had a hose on either side.
02:42:54.000 I didn't get it.
02:42:55.000 I didn't get it either until someone explained to me that some, because it was a very fancy hotel, and some people from other lands prefer to wash their hand, wash their ass, rather, with their left hand.
02:43:10.000 It's the lefty style.
02:43:11.000 So for you to ask them to grab a hose on the right-hand side and hose down their asshole, they'd be offended.
02:43:16.000 You're not supposed to do that with your right hand.
02:43:18.000 You're supposed to do it with your left hand.
02:43:20.000 Hmm.
02:43:21.000 It had like that, right?
02:43:22.000 It had like a hose off of it.
02:43:24.000 Yeah, two.
02:43:25.000 And one on each side.
02:43:26.000 Like an industrial strength.
02:43:27.000 I see.
02:43:28.000 I think I'm making a YouTube video.
02:43:30.000 Or an Instagram video.
02:43:32.000 Huh.
02:43:34.000 Yeah, it's a better way to clean your ass, that's for sure.
02:43:37.000 Like, the way we do it with toilet paper is really disgusto.
02:43:40.000 It's fucking gross.
02:43:41.000 You're just smooshing it around.
02:43:43.000 Like, if you had that shit on your eyebrow, not your taint hairs, but your eyebrow hairs, how much rubbing?
02:43:49.000 There it is.
02:43:50.000 One on the left, one on the right.
02:43:51.000 What the fuck, dude?
02:43:52.000 Look at that.
02:43:53.000 I like that.
02:43:54.000 Did you try it out?
02:43:55.000 Yes.
02:43:57.000 With much shame.
02:43:58.000 Was there poop juice everywhere?
02:43:59.000 Look at that one, man.
02:44:00.000 That one's for a big asshole.
02:44:04.000 Maybe one's for a pussy and one's for an asshole.
02:44:06.000 Maybe you double jam.
02:44:07.000 I thought it was just a clean toilet.
02:44:09.000 Right and left.
02:44:09.000 Right hammers the clit.
02:44:11.000 Because my bidet has a pussy mode and an ass mode.
02:44:14.000 Yes.
02:44:15.000 Girls probably use that thing.
02:44:17.000 It feels good on your butt.
02:44:18.000 I'm ashamed to admit it.
02:44:20.000 That warm water squirts up on your butt.
02:44:22.000 I guess it's a smaller little thing than I remembered.
02:44:25.000 So I don't think you have to worry.
02:44:27.000 Though the bidet.
02:44:27.000 There's a bidet on the other side of the room, too.
02:44:29.000 Look.
02:44:31.000 See there?
02:44:31.000 Over there, there's a bidet.
02:44:33.000 So there was a bidet.
02:44:34.000 See, that's what I'm talking about.
02:44:35.000 See that little robot dick that's sticking up?
02:44:37.000 Did you see it in the bidet?
02:44:39.000 Watch.
02:44:40.000 See, watch when they turn it around, or when I turn it around, after I grab ahold of these two things.
02:44:46.000 I was super confused.
02:44:48.000 The other side has a thing that pokes out in the middle, and that's kind of what I was talking about.
02:44:53.000 And some of them are a little higher than others.
02:44:55.000 But they're these weird little...
02:44:57.000 There it is.
02:44:59.000 I just...
02:45:00.000 I don't...
02:45:01.000 What kind of shits are these people taking?
02:45:04.000 This is not a shower.
02:45:06.000 This is a regular toilet.
02:45:07.000 And then...
02:45:08.000 A bidet.
02:45:09.000 There it is.
02:45:11.000 That little robot.
02:45:11.000 Not that part.
02:45:12.000 The other one.
02:45:13.000 The one earlier.
02:45:14.000 See?
02:45:15.000 It doesn't matter.
02:45:18.000 It really doesn't matter.
02:45:19.000 You don't have a touch bar on that laptop, too.
02:45:21.000 Touch bar is the shit, because even in an Instagram video, you can back it up and rewind it.
02:45:25.000 I was just going to say, they need to add a fucking play bar.
02:45:27.000 Are they doing a touch bar?
02:45:29.000 Yes, you can.
02:45:29.000 I turned all that shit off.
02:45:31.000 Oh, no, no, no.
02:45:32.000 It's great.
02:45:32.000 That's the only good thing about the 16-inch MacBook that I appreciate is that touch bar.
02:45:38.000 For YouTube videos, you scroll back and forth.
02:45:41.000 It's so much better than having to keep your finger...
02:45:44.000 On this one area on the trackpad and hold onto the thing, move it left and right, or click on this, or click on that.
02:45:49.000 It's so seamless.
02:45:51.000 You know exactly where your finger is.
02:45:52.000 It's a more effective way of navigating YouTube videos.
02:45:56.000 Because your track of landscape that you're navigating in is very defined.
02:46:01.000 So you just get your finger on it, and you just move it back and forth.
02:46:04.000 Nobody ever uses them.
02:46:05.000 There's a bunch of keyboard shortcuts on YouTube to use, which are great and helpful, but I couldn't tell you what more than two of them are.
02:46:12.000 I can skip frames.
02:46:14.000 Are they listed somewhere?
02:46:14.000 Yeah, they're listed a bunch of places, but you can jump to all sorts of parts in the video just by hitting certain keys.
02:46:19.000 I didn't know that.
02:46:20.000 Yeah, save a bunch of time, but no one's going to ever remember them or use them.
02:46:24.000 Right.
02:46:28.000 They should open up gyms.
02:46:30.000 When do you think they should do that?
02:46:32.000 Let people work out.
02:46:33.000 With social distancing and proper cleaning, it seems like they should be able to do that.
02:46:37.000 They should only open up gyms for people who never contact anyone who contacts old people.
02:46:43.000 You have to sign a contract.
02:46:45.000 If everyone cleans after themself at the gym.
02:46:46.000 I mean, it seems like that's the dirtiest place ever.
02:46:49.000 Gross people spitting on the floor.
02:46:50.000 They want to go back.
02:46:52.000 Yeah, sweat.
02:46:53.000 I mean, what kind of a disgusting virus-carrying solution is sweat?
02:46:58.000 From some dude who didn't shower today, went straight to Gold's, fucking pumped up, ready to get my PR in, or PB, personal best, personal record, PR, personal record, right?
02:47:11.000 Yeah.
02:47:12.000 You gotta know those terms, bro.
02:47:15.000 Have you thought about doing anything special?
02:47:18.000 It's like now that you know you have to be locked down, like it's a good time to work on something.
02:47:22.000 Well, I've been really getting into broadcasting VR. I'm learning how to do it the best way.
02:47:30.000 I'm into VR men.
02:47:31.000 I think that's the future.
02:47:32.000 And these new games coming out.
02:47:35.000 Let me ask you this.
02:47:36.000 Can you broadcast?
02:47:37.000 You play in Half-Life?
02:47:38.000 Yeah, I do it.
02:47:40.000 I've done five broadcasts on my YouTube page.
02:47:43.000 And I'm trying to get it so I can have my whole body in there maybe in the future.
02:47:47.000 But that takes a lot of work.
02:47:49.000 Dude.
02:47:50.000 Broadcasting...
02:47:55.000 HD VR in Half-Life in a game like that would be fucking amazing.
02:47:59.000 If you think about how many people play games, if they could figure out a way, you know you watch someone play and it's real similar, like if you remember back in the Quake days we'd watch demos, like if a really good player was playing, I'd watch like there's this dude named Thresh,
02:48:15.000 I've talked about him on the podcast before, I'd watch all his demos.
02:48:18.000 Is he still around?
02:48:19.000 He's around, yeah.
02:48:21.000 He and I exchanged messages.
02:48:26.000 Way back in the day, but it was obviously before this corona.
02:48:29.000 Step one of what you're saying?
02:48:30.000 Yeah, this is like step one, but you could see her butt, and in real life, you would be her.
02:48:34.000 Yeah.
02:48:35.000 This is what I'm trying to do at my house right now, and it's hard to do, because you have to have a lot of green screen crap.
02:48:39.000 That's cool.
02:48:40.000 This is cool.
02:48:41.000 It would be interesting to see someone walk through in third person, but what I'm talking about is first person.
02:48:45.000 I know, I know.
02:48:46.000 Dude, that would be the shit.
02:48:48.000 This game allows you to place a virtual camera for the purpose of doing this in there, so like...
02:48:54.000 Without doing that, you can have the headset version of it.
02:48:57.000 Oh, you can.
02:48:58.000 Yeah, I did the headset version.
02:49:00.000 Yeah, what I'm saying is when people watch you play a game, they're gonna want to watch you survive some crazy VR fantasy game like Half-Life.
02:49:10.000 That would be really captivating.
02:49:12.000 Because it's one thing to watch a guy play a game, but if you could put the VR goggles on and watch with him, and you're looking around and I'm seeing what you're seeing, holy fuck, dude!
02:49:22.000 This guy's on...
02:49:23.000 Oh, sorry, the commercial.
02:49:24.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:49:24.000 You scared me.
02:49:25.000 I'm like, that's really realistic.
02:49:26.000 That's really realistic.
02:49:27.000 Super realistic.
02:49:29.000 There's people doing that, though, I think.
02:49:31.000 What are those other good series that are out?
02:49:34.000 I know Amazon has some good series now, people were saying.
02:49:37.000 Yeah.
02:49:38.000 Well, that Tiger thing, I highly recommend.
02:49:41.000 Yeah, I'm definitely going to see that, but I want to see something that's fake.
02:49:44.000 Devs?
02:49:45.000 Oh, that's right.
02:49:46.000 Is that Amazon?
02:49:47.000 That's Amazon, right?
02:49:47.000 No, that's Hulu.
02:49:48.000 Hulu.
02:49:49.000 Is that supposed to be really good?
02:49:50.000 That one actor, the guy from Parks and Rec, what's his name, the comedian guy?
02:49:54.000 Nick Offerman.
02:49:55.000 He is great, man.
02:49:56.000 He's in Devs?
02:49:57.000 Yeah, he's one of the main guys.
02:49:59.000 He's the Steve Jobs guy.
02:50:01.000 And Westworld's back.
02:50:03.000 I don't know if you've ever gotten...
02:50:04.000 Dude, I liked Westworld, but the wife got a little grossed out and started pulling people's heads up.
02:50:09.000 I know.
02:50:10.000 Don't stay away from the spoilers.
02:50:12.000 They're everywhere.
02:50:12.000 Well, yeah, Westworld's not in the West anymore, though.
02:50:15.000 No.
02:50:15.000 No, not Westworld.
02:50:16.000 I mean, Ozark.
02:50:18.000 Ozark spoilers.
02:50:18.000 I haven't done Ozark.
02:50:19.000 People are binge watching, like instantly.
02:50:22.000 People are so greedy.
02:50:23.000 I know.
02:50:23.000 They use a bottle of toilet paper and they sit there watching Ozark.
02:50:28.000 Oh, the other one is The Expanse.
02:50:30.000 I heard The Expanse is really good.
02:50:32.000 Have you ever seen that?
02:50:34.000 A bunch of people that I respect that like sci-fi told me that The Expanse, which is, I think that's an Amazon show, See that?
02:50:42.000 Yeah, it's four seasons in.
02:50:45.000 It's a season coming soon, Amazon.
02:50:48.000 Know anything about it?
02:50:49.000 No, I haven't seen it at all.
02:50:51.000 Brian?
02:50:52.000 No, I've never even heard of it.
02:50:53.000 What?
02:50:54.000 I heard it's really good.
02:50:55.000 There's too many shows.
02:50:56.000 Oh, there definitely is.
02:50:57.000 And they never stop.
02:50:58.000 Yeah.
02:50:58.000 They never stop.
02:50:59.000 They never go, we're just going to keep the shows we have and make them better.
02:51:02.000 Nope.
02:51:02.000 And I didn't really watch that Tiger show, too, because I was so annoyed at people asking me if I watch it.
02:51:05.000 I'm like, I got to just watch it so I could say yes and know what people are talking about.
02:51:09.000 I'm tired of hearing about it.
02:51:11.000 Yeah.
02:51:11.000 Dude, I was watching regular TV, and you couldn't, for some reason, fast forward through the commercials.
02:51:18.000 What?
02:51:19.000 Yeah, there was something going on where you couldn't fast forward through commercials.
02:51:22.000 I was going in and out of this room with the TV and I couldn't figure it out.
02:51:26.000 But while I was watching, I just stopped and paused watching these commercials on regular TV for these upcoming shows that they have.
02:51:33.000 And it's like...
02:51:34.000 It's almost like they're trying to put you into a coma.
02:51:37.000 They're trying to put you in a state of mind like some fake-ass Norman Rockwell painting of America.
02:51:45.000 It's a calm-down, easy-to-predict version of a drama.
02:51:50.000 You know, we're all in this together, and it's perfect music, and we're all about God and family, and they're all hugging and smiling.
02:51:58.000 Like, what are you doing to me here?
02:51:59.000 It doesn't work on me anymore.
02:52:01.000 I can't watch that shit anymore.
02:52:02.000 No, you can't watch it.
02:52:03.000 But that's what I'm saying.
02:52:04.000 It's so strange when you compare that to some of the shit that we watch now.
02:52:10.000 Like if you watch Game of Thrones, or if you watch Ozark, or if you watch The Outsider, all these crazy fucking shows.
02:52:18.000 You watch a show that's made like a 1980s CBS drama, and you're like, what is this?
02:52:24.000 And then you realize, oh my god, they still make them.
02:52:27.000 They still make them.
02:52:28.000 They make them just like that.
02:52:29.000 Grey's Anatomy's been on TV for 15 plus 20 years.
02:52:32.000 I don't even know how long.
02:52:33.000 Is that still on?
02:52:34.000 It's still on, yeah.
02:52:35.000 Is Dr. Dreamy still on that?
02:52:38.000 Dr. Dreamy.
02:52:38.000 The main girl's still on it?
02:52:39.000 I don't know who else is still on that show.
02:52:41.000 Is he on it?
02:52:41.000 He might be.
02:52:42.000 You're talking about...
02:52:43.000 Dr. Dreamy.
02:52:44.000 Patrick...
02:52:44.000 Yeah.
02:52:45.000 I met him once.
02:52:46.000 He's a cool guy.
02:52:47.000 He was a very nice guy.
02:52:48.000 Yeah.
02:52:49.000 I like what sports is doing now, because there's no sports, so they've been doing NASCAR video games, and it looks so real, like a real NASCAR race, and I guess Madden next week is going to have a football game, but it's going to be a video game, Madden football game.
02:53:04.000 So that might be the future of sports.
02:53:05.000 It is not.
02:53:05.000 They are talking about doing, like the NBA might do their whole tournament in Vegas this summer, because just like they do NBA Summer League, they can't play any, they're fucked right now.
02:53:17.000 They've been out taking two weeks off.
02:53:19.000 I saw LeBron said they might have to, he might need like 10 games to get warmed back up to even start going.
02:53:23.000 They have no preseason again.
02:53:26.000 All these guys, there's a China League that's starting up soon.
02:53:28.000 All those players from America that are going to go over there, they have to just work out on their own, just like some UFC fighters who can't fight right now.
02:53:34.000 They're going to go and play in China?
02:53:36.000 Yeah.
02:53:37.000 Son.
02:53:38.000 Nah.
02:53:38.000 Nah.
02:53:39.000 They get paid a lot.
02:53:40.000 Stefan Marbury is a big star there, and he's trying to get some masks sent back to Brooklyn, where he's from, but he's a huge star in China now.
02:53:46.000 Damn.
02:53:46.000 Yeah.
02:53:47.000 Interesting things happening.
02:53:49.000 The whole premier soccer league team in Europe, they're going to have a World Cup event type thing, a huge TV event.
02:53:56.000 They're getting TV partners in place.
02:53:57.000 They're going to quarantine everyone, put them in little camps, all the teams, I don't know, 30 teams maybe, 25 teams.
02:54:03.000 Who's buying up all the stock now that the market's crashed?
02:54:06.000 Because you know that shit's going on.
02:54:08.000 A lot of people.
02:54:08.000 A lot of people, yeah.
02:54:09.000 That Barstool sports guy.
02:54:10.000 Well, I mean, all sorts of people, right?
02:54:13.000 Mm-hmm.
02:54:15.000 Some people say that's a good thing to do.
02:54:17.000 I don't know.
02:54:17.000 It seems like it's still crashing, so I don't know.
02:54:19.000 Well, you've got to wonder, because the people that can buy the stock are the people that have the most money already.
02:54:24.000 grocery stores.
02:54:25.000 This could be a giant change in, like, who owns what.
02:54:30.000 Yeah.
02:54:30.000 They speculated that, like, what company?
02:54:34.000 I think Apple could just buy Netflix or something crazy like that.
02:54:37.000 Jesus Christ!
02:54:37.000 Or Disney?
02:54:38.000 It was Disney, I think they said.
02:54:39.000 Disney could buy Netflix?
02:54:41.000 No, Apple could just buy Disney.
02:54:42.000 Oh yeah, they definitely could.
02:54:43.000 They definitely could.
02:54:46.000 They have so much money.
02:54:47.000 They're so weird.
02:54:48.000 Like, the amount of money they have is weird.
02:54:50.000 You know?
02:54:51.000 Like, what an amazing move.
02:54:54.000 What company has that kind of cash?
02:54:57.000 No one.
02:54:58.000 Amazon's close and they're going to maybe be the first two trillion dollar company.
02:55:02.000 But it's a very different thing.
02:55:03.000 They sell everything.
02:55:04.000 They sell toothpaste and fucking bubble gum and nails.
02:55:08.000 They'll sell you everything.
02:55:09.000 But Apple just sells you computers, phones, watches, sippage.
02:55:15.000 That's it.
02:55:17.000 It's amazing.
02:55:18.000 For right now.
02:55:18.000 It's amazing.
02:55:19.000 But no one has loyalty to tech products the way people have with Apple.
02:55:24.000 They didn't even have a store ten years ago.
02:55:26.000 Is it 10 years?
02:55:27.000 I don't know, but it's not been that long.
02:55:28.000 There's no Apple stores.
02:55:30.000 You had to go to a micro center.
02:55:31.000 I think it's more than 10 years, but you're right.
02:55:34.000 But dude, that fucking genius bar, that was the ultimate...
02:55:37.000 Did you call it a genius bar?
02:55:41.000 Really?
02:55:42.000 They're not.
02:55:42.000 Come on, man.
02:55:43.000 I needed help recently.
02:55:44.000 These are just people that work here.
02:55:46.000 Why are you saying geniuses?
02:55:47.000 These aren't geniuses.
02:55:50.000 You're making these people...
02:55:52.000 Operate at such an exaggerated standard, right?
02:55:56.000 They have to be geniuses?
02:55:57.000 Can't just be a guy who understands batteries?
02:56:00.000 Oh, yeah, man, we're on a test here.
02:56:02.000 No, it has to be a genius.
02:56:03.000 Excuse me, sir.
02:56:04.000 What's your IQ? Yeah, Gateway, we just call them tech support.
02:56:09.000 Wasn't it the Geek Squad?
02:56:10.000 No, that's Best Buy.
02:56:13.000 Best Buy, that's right.
02:56:14.000 Yeah, that's hilarious.
02:56:16.000 Geek Squad.
02:56:17.000 Geek, somehow or another, is more offensive than dork to me.
02:56:22.000 Oh yeah.
02:56:22.000 Nerd is the top of the food chain.
02:56:24.000 Nerd is like, you could say it proud.
02:56:26.000 But geek is like, you're a little fucked up.
02:56:30.000 Right?
02:56:31.000 And dork.
02:56:34.000 It's not so bad.
02:56:35.000 It's endearing, kind of.
02:56:36.000 Dork's cute.
02:56:37.000 Dork's cute.
02:56:38.000 Dork's cute.
02:56:38.000 Yeah.
02:56:39.000 Geek isn't cute.
02:56:40.000 Geek is like, you're fucking freaking out.
02:56:42.000 Keep it together, bitch.
02:56:43.000 Yeah.
02:56:44.000 Dork is like, you fucking dork.
02:56:46.000 Dork.
02:56:46.000 Yeah.
02:56:48.000 Geek is like a more...
02:56:50.000 You can geek out, and that's not that bad.
02:56:52.000 You can geek out.
02:56:52.000 That's a good point.
02:56:53.000 You can geek out in a good way.
02:56:54.000 Yeah.
02:56:55.000 That's a good point.
02:56:56.000 Yeah, no one's complaining about language right now.
02:56:59.000 Notice that?
02:57:00.000 Yeah.
02:57:00.000 All that shit went away.
02:57:02.000 But it's so much corona, it's just tiring watching.
02:57:05.000 It's exhausting.
02:57:06.000 Well, that's the other thing that's going on with people is the fear, man.
02:57:09.000 When you have a hard time dealing, you have anxiety, you have apprehension, you're just fearful of the future and fearful of the disease.
02:57:19.000 Some people had anxiety before this.
02:57:22.000 This is going to accelerate everything.
02:57:24.000 That's going to be real hard just for mental health of people.
02:57:28.000 It's going to be people that are going to have a really hard time also accepting that this is just something that happened.
02:57:35.000 To them.
02:57:35.000 It's just not something that they did wrong.
02:57:37.000 You know, when something goes bad and you did something wrong, it's kind of like, ah, I made a bad decision.
02:57:42.000 I should have done it that way.
02:57:44.000 I fucked up and we should have had that meeting.
02:57:46.000 And then, you know, you might know why your business fell apart.
02:57:50.000 But if it falls apart now, it's like you didn't even do anything wrong.
02:57:54.000 And the government gets to tell you.
02:57:57.000 They have to sit back.
02:57:59.000 Now, if you were a conspiracy theorist, and so many of them are...
02:58:04.000 You would think.
02:58:05.000 What would be the best way to gain more control of the people?
02:58:08.000 The best way, first of all, to accelerate despair and accelerate unemployment.
02:58:15.000 You would do all the things that are just going to happen from what naturally happens in a disease.
02:58:20.000 People are willing to give up certain civil liberties if they think they can get more safety.
02:58:26.000 And it's true.
02:58:27.000 We should stay home.
02:58:29.000 It's true.
02:58:29.000 It will be better for everybody.
02:58:31.000 It's true that we need to take precautions.
02:58:33.000 It's true that we need to self-isolate.
02:58:35.000 All those things are true.
02:58:36.000 But it's also true that you're giving a certain amount of power to the government to lock things down and control you.
02:58:44.000 They're giving people tickets in New York.
02:58:46.000 If they catch them walking around, they give them $500 tickets.
02:58:50.000 They're doing it in other places too, I'm sure.
02:58:53.000 And that's where it gets weird, man, because who are these people?
02:58:57.000 These people that are telling you can't go anywhere, they're just the government.
02:59:01.000 They're just people.
02:59:02.000 They're people telling people that they can't go somewhere, which is fine if we need to do that like right now.
02:59:09.000 But what if it just sort of stays that way?
02:59:11.000 What if it stays that way to a lesser extent?
02:59:13.000 What if they decide, you know how we're going to stop coronavirus from really taking place?
02:59:17.000 I want to know where you're going.
02:59:18.000 I want to know where you're going.
02:59:19.000 I want to know when you go through each state, we're going to have checkpoints.
02:59:24.000 We're going to pull you over.
02:59:26.000 It's going to be a heightened police state.
02:59:28.000 Sir, have you been tested for the coronavirus and you put a fucking thing on your forehead?
02:59:32.000 What if this thing really does start coming back the way it has in Wuhan, where people tested negative and then they later tested positive?
02:59:41.000 If that happens here, are we going to keep this lockdown thing going on?
02:59:45.000 What if it's something that we all have and it comes back like when John Jones had those steroids in his system and the picograms and it just kept flashing back?
02:59:53.000 What if that's with this stuff?
02:59:54.000 What if we test positive for coronavirus every couple of years?
02:59:57.000 What if it's like herpes?
02:59:58.000 What if you keep it for life?
03:00:00.000 What if we're assuming we got rid of it?
03:00:02.000 We're going to just accept martial law?
03:00:05.000 We're just going to accept tanks in the streets?
03:00:07.000 What are we going to accept?
03:00:08.000 It's a real good question.
03:00:10.000 So if you were a nut right now, you would be fucking going crazy because you'd be saying all the pieces are in place for like a hostile takeover.
03:00:19.000 And they're in place because they really, truly are the best ways to save people's lives.
03:00:24.000 It's all a smart thing to do.
03:00:26.000 But if you were a conspiracy theorist, you'd say, this is exactly what I would do if I wanted to take over.
03:00:32.000 And that's what we have to be really careful of.
03:00:34.000 We've got to be careful of somehow or another walking that very fine balance of protecting people.
03:00:39.000 From a disease, this invisible killer, and preserving our freedom and preserving rights.
03:00:47.000 All those things are very important that we don't just give that up.
03:00:51.000 Because it's not the way to go.
03:00:53.000 It's just not.
03:00:54.000 We have to figure out our way through this disease and then we have to figure out some way to return to normalcy.
03:01:01.000 And that's gotta happen.
03:01:03.000 We can't just stay like this where no one works anymore.
03:01:06.000 We can't just not ever take risks.
03:01:08.000 We can't just not go out.
03:01:10.000 So once this does get rolling again, it's going to be real interesting to see how much, if any, control the government retains, how much, if any, restrictions get imposed, how much of these restrictions we just absorb and they become newer, new things,
03:01:26.000 a normal thing, rather, where you just go to the airport, you have to take a temperature test.
03:01:29.000 You go to the airport and they want to test you.
03:01:31.000 Or we're going to have to start wearing suits, kind of like Star Wars, like these kind of suits with helmets and breathing apparatus and everyone that works at the grocery store is going to be robots.
03:01:41.000 Imagine that, you get to the hotel and you decompress and unzip.
03:01:46.000 You can enjoy New York City from your balcony.
03:01:48.000 Look, it's so pretty out there with all the murderous viruses swarming around, killing people.
03:01:55.000 What if the viruses got together and made virus tornadoes and started just throwing people against walls?
03:01:59.000 Or virus babies if you get born.
03:02:02.000 Listen, man, if a wind can pick up a semi and make it fly through the air, like we've seen, why can't a virus tornado just slam you into a wall?
03:02:13.000 Imagine if viruses accelerate billions of times and they form colonies and they become intelligent and they realize if they move quick enough they can knock you off your feet and they go down your throat like a demon.
03:02:29.000 That's not happening already.
03:02:31.000 It's crazy, for sure.
03:02:32.000 But so is a regular virus.
03:02:34.000 So is a regular virus.
03:02:35.000 I mean, just what we were reading about the H1N1 and all these other flus that kill so many countless thousands of people.
03:02:42.000 Not countless.
03:02:43.000 They counted them.
03:02:44.000 They're actually pretty accurate, right?
03:02:47.000 We had to double check.
03:02:48.000 I mean, just think about the sheer numbers of people that have died from those things.
03:02:52.000 If those were demons instead of diseases, how freaky would that be?
03:02:57.000 If we'll be like, look, we're going to lose a certain amount of people every year to demons.
03:03:02.000 No matter what we do.
03:03:04.000 Why is it better to lose to a virus than a demon?
03:03:08.000 Little Godzilla's.
03:03:14.000 Little Godzilla's just running up into your window and killing your grandma.
03:03:19.000 Baby Godzilla's.
03:03:21.000 Fuck!
03:03:21.000 God damn it!
03:03:22.000 You go in there and she's just bones, just white bones sticking up.
03:03:26.000 There's a horde of little Godzilla's just chewing through her meat.
03:03:31.000 Why would that be more horrific than a virus?
03:03:37.000 The silent thing that chokes you to death?
03:03:40.000 I need to know.
03:03:42.000 I've been thinking that like hilarious.
03:03:44.000 There's been that talk when we've talked about UFOs that all the world needs to get to come together is like that alien invasion.
03:03:50.000 This is not too different than what that would be.
03:03:53.000 It is an alien technically.
03:03:55.000 It's not.
03:03:55.000 It is.
03:03:56.000 It's foreign to us.
03:03:57.000 Action Bronson had it right the whole time.
03:03:58.000 Just get high and watch ancient aliens try to get so high you just try to sort through what they're saying.
03:04:06.000 He figured it out.
03:04:09.000 It's interesting to think, what if this did come from, you know, space?
03:04:13.000 Yeah, they're sick of us.
03:04:15.000 Imagine.
03:04:17.000 The real fear is that they're eventually going to have something that you can't fix.
03:04:24.000 You know, I had this guy on that was talking about with my friend.
03:04:29.000 Do you remember that guy's name with Doug, Doug Duren, the scientist?
03:04:34.000 Brian?
03:04:36.000 His scientist friend came in with my friend Doug Duren from Wisconsin to talk about chronic wasting disease.
03:04:42.000 Brian Richards.
03:04:43.000 Brian Richards.
03:04:43.000 Thank you.
03:04:44.000 And he explained how this is not made to jump to people.
03:04:48.000 But if it does, it's going to be horrific.
03:04:50.000 And it's like it's in deer.
03:04:52.000 And it's made to jump to mice.
03:04:53.000 And it's spreading through the Midwest.
03:04:56.000 This is something you gotta keep an eye on.
03:04:59.000 This is not a safe thing.
03:05:02.000 If this does make the jump to people, and people get hit with this prion disease that's called chronic wasting disease in deer, if that spreads to people, we're fucked.
03:05:13.000 We're fucked.
03:05:14.000 It's gonna be like a zombie apocalypse.
03:05:17.000 If that gets into people, it's like 100% of them die.
03:05:20.000 Deer, they 100% die.
03:05:22.000 They don't live for very long either, and it's a horrific death.
03:05:25.000 Their body shrivels.
03:05:27.000 That's why they call it chronic wasting disease.
03:05:29.000 They waste away and they're like vomiting everywhere.
03:05:31.000 All this stuff is coming out of their mouth and their nose, and this stuff that's coming out of their mouth and nose is highly contagious.
03:05:38.000 And then other deer come along and eat the grass that they spit out this phlegm or this body fluid, whatever the fuck it is, and they get it from that.
03:05:46.000 And they get it from sharing food sources and they leave it everywhere, too.
03:05:51.000 When the deer are dying, this stuff comes out of them and they leave it everywhere.
03:05:55.000 It's like the virus knowing it's losing its host and it decides to just land on plants.
03:06:00.000 Bro.
03:06:01.000 It's scary as fuck.
03:06:03.000 Because it's like mad cow disease.
03:06:05.000 They just reported the other day, I read something in China where they found a guy on a bus that, like a version of, I don't know if it was Corona, that usually has never traveled from rat or mouse to human.
03:06:18.000 It was the first time ever.
03:06:20.000 So there might be already another Corona that...
03:06:23.000 When did you hear about this?
03:06:24.000 This was like two days ago.
03:06:25.000 Oh no.
03:06:26.000 They found a guy on the bus and they said, don't worry, this has never happened before.
03:06:30.000 These patient zeros are really pissing me off.
03:06:32.000 Yeah.
03:06:36.000 What the fuck?
03:06:37.000 Jamie is one-handing it.
03:06:39.000 Let's see who gets it.
03:06:41.000 Hantavirus.
03:06:43.000 Damn, Jamie won.
03:06:44.000 Six days ago.
03:06:45.000 He can't fuck with him.
03:06:46.000 Man who died on bus in China tests positive for hantavirus.
03:06:51.000 Motherfucker!
03:06:53.000 This is how many days ago?
03:06:54.000 Six.
03:06:56.000 Make this a little larger so I can read it with my shitty eyes.
03:06:58.000 A passenger who died on a bus in China has tested positive for a completely different virus than COVID-19, one more fatal that often produces very similar symptoms according to state-run media.
03:07:09.000 The unidentified woman from Yunnan Province died while on a chartered bus heading to his workplace.
03:07:19.000 In Shandong Province, the state-run Global Times announced in a tweet on Monday he tested positive for hashtag hantavirus.
03:07:27.000 Other 32 people on the bus were tested.
03:07:29.000 The outlet stated offering no further details.
03:07:31.000 Oh, fuck.
03:07:33.000 The new virus starting just as China starts lifting its strict quarantines from COVID-19.
03:07:39.000 Jesus Christ.
03:07:43.000 Okay.
03:07:44.000 However, experts were quickly to point out that it's not a new virus and is only rarely thought to have been passed between humans.
03:07:51.000 Oh, that doesn't make me feel good.
03:07:52.000 Yeah.
03:07:52.000 It's only recent that this is starting to happen.
03:07:55.000 Yeah, this is not good.
03:07:56.000 Listen to this.
03:07:57.000 The Hantavirus first emerged in the 1950s in the American Korean War in Korea, Hanton River.
03:08:02.000 It spreads from rat mice if humans ingest their body fluids.
03:08:08.000 Human, human transmission is rare.
03:08:11.000 Rare is not a word I like.
03:08:13.000 When it comes to a disease, it kills the fuck out of you.
03:08:15.000 Please don't, do not panic unless you plan to eat rats.
03:08:19.000 And a billion Chinese people just went, fuck!
03:08:23.000 Yeah.
03:08:24.000 Well, at least dogs are okay.
03:08:25.000 Well, how many of them eat rats?
03:08:27.000 They eat what they can eat, right?
03:08:30.000 Those wet markets are just that.
03:08:32.000 Whoa.
03:08:32.000 After exposure to fresh urine, droppings, or saliva of infected rodents.
03:08:38.000 Hey!
03:08:39.000 Symptoms may occur up to eight weeks after exposure to fresh urine, droppings, or saliva-infected rodents.
03:08:46.000 Okay, well that can get a rat to a person.
03:08:50.000 So it can't get person to person yet.
03:08:52.000 But what if that thing morphs?
03:08:54.000 They're pretending like things don't morph.
03:08:57.000 You know, like, bitch, they got to a person in the first place because they made a jump.
03:09:01.000 All these things, right?
03:09:03.000 Avian flu, swine flu, all these flus, they jump from an animal to a human.
03:09:09.000 God, imagine if this starts going out.
03:09:11.000 God damn it.
03:09:12.000 Well, this is what I'm saying.
03:09:14.000 Now, what if it does?
03:09:15.000 And then they keep this level of security and this level of restriction, and it restricts your freedom?
03:09:23.000 Man, it makes you really realize how well we had it before this.
03:09:27.000 We could just do whatever you wanted.
03:09:29.000 Right now, you could just drive to Vegas.
03:09:30.000 Let's go to Vegas!
03:09:31.000 Let's go see Britney Spears!
03:09:33.000 Yay!
03:09:34.000 You go down there, have a nice dinner.
03:09:36.000 That's what we did.
03:09:37.000 Go see Britney.
03:09:39.000 Britney, bitch.
03:09:41.000 You know?
03:09:41.000 Not anymore, bitch.
03:09:43.000 Now no one's going nowhere.
03:09:44.000 If you wanted to take over the world, isn't that the way you would do it?
03:09:49.000 I'm not saying that that's what's happening, but I'm saying if you were writing a book On a takeover of the world by another nation.
03:09:57.000 What better way to do it than that?
03:09:59.000 What if North Korea was behind all this?
03:10:01.000 Well, I don't think they have the resources.
03:10:03.000 China, since it's in China, it's much more likely.
03:10:06.000 Look, it started from China, whether it was intentional or unintentional.
03:10:09.000 That's beside the point.
03:10:12.000 I don't think it was intentional.
03:10:13.000 But I think that when things like this happen, people do take advantage of opportunity.
03:10:18.000 And you got to be real careful who gets the better hand when they're taking advantage of opportunity.
03:10:25.000 It's just, it's new ground.
03:10:29.000 It's weird for people.
03:10:30.000 They know where it came from.
03:10:32.000 They have isolated that this thing did come from this market in Wuhan.
03:10:37.000 They know.
03:10:41.000 It's the way things like this can play out, if there's a bunch of these, is almost just like someone starting a conspiracy.
03:10:49.000 It doesn't have to be done.
03:10:52.000 It just actually naturally exists, and the same people that would benefit from a conspiracy or who would engage in a conspiracy to defraud people or fuck people over in the first place, they're the ones who are going to jump in and take advantage of it the quickest.
03:11:04.000 That's what's so scary about it.
03:11:07.000 Totalitarian ideas thrive when people are scared.
03:11:10.000 They want someone to take over the reins.
03:11:12.000 They want someone to take over.
03:11:13.000 We're going to block the streets?
03:11:14.000 No more travel.
03:11:15.000 We're going to block this.
03:11:16.000 You can't go to work.
03:11:17.000 Then you're going to be poor and broke and scared.
03:11:20.000 I'm not saying that that's what they're doing.
03:11:21.000 What I am saying is if you wanted to do something to really take over a civilization, it would be this way.
03:11:31.000 That's how you would do it.
03:11:32.000 You would do it with diseases.
03:11:34.000 I'm not saying they're doing that.
03:11:36.000 I don't think they are.
03:11:37.000 I think this is just a horrible natural disaster.
03:11:39.000 I want to be really clear on that.
03:11:41.000 But we might come out of this different than we went in.
03:11:46.000 That's real.
03:11:47.000 There's tanks driving down the road in California.
03:11:52.000 Tanks.
03:11:53.000 And they're like, oh, they're just getting supplies or something.
03:11:57.000 There's tanks rolling through New York City.
03:11:59.000 My friend John Joseph, he sent me a video from his phone of tanks rolling down New York City.
03:12:05.000 Armed Humvees and tanks.
03:12:07.000 That's ridiculous.
03:12:08.000 Yeah, freaky, like military vehicles in camo.
03:12:13.000 Like, what are you hiding?
03:12:14.000 You're in New York City.
03:12:15.000 What are you hiding from?
03:12:16.000 What kind of camo is that?
03:12:18.000 Is it weird that even when they use them in cities, they camo them up?
03:12:21.000 Yeah.
03:12:22.000 It seems so rude.
03:12:23.000 It is.
03:12:24.000 It's like to let you know.
03:12:25.000 They might hide in the bushes too, bitch.
03:12:28.000 But they drive through the cities to lock everybody down.
03:12:30.000 If they had those murdered out Matt Black paint jobs instead, it would be a little bit more intimidating maybe.
03:12:35.000 Fuck yeah.
03:12:35.000 Pizza slices and stuff.
03:12:37.000 Well, at least with camo, if you have your car is all camoed up and you're not in the military, you know, they're going to have an eye on you anyway.
03:12:45.000 Like, what are you doing?
03:12:47.000 Right?
03:12:48.000 Unless you're in, like, West Virginia.
03:12:49.000 Dudes who have, like, camoed up H1s, Hummers, and they're driving those real military-style Hummers around, like, please check that guy's house.
03:12:58.000 You know?
03:12:59.000 Please, please read his Facebook.
03:13:01.000 Please.
03:13:02.000 He's driving around with an armored vehicle, all camoed out.
03:13:08.000 Do you really need an H1 Hummer in LA? They're so wide.
03:13:12.000 They don't still make those.
03:13:14.000 They don't still make them, but people still have them.
03:13:16.000 Not only do people have them, but they do these mods on them.
03:13:20.000 Because they're really slow.
03:13:22.000 Like, a Hummer is really slow.
03:13:23.000 And I'm pretty sure they're a diesel engine.
03:13:25.000 It's like a slow, shitty, stinky engine.
03:13:28.000 It's not...
03:13:30.000 It's not good.
03:13:30.000 It's not optimal.
03:13:31.000 So they take the engine out of those shitboxes and put like giant American engines in there and turn them into- it's a company in Florida.
03:13:39.000 I forget what the company is, but they make custom Humvees, like the real military Humvees, but they deck them out inside with dope interiors and they put ridiculous like thousand horsepower turbocharged engines in them and shit.
03:13:54.000 If there is even, like, if you have even one wacky idea in your head, like, maybe someone could do, they already did it.
03:14:01.000 Wow.
03:14:02.000 This is the coronavirus pandemic hummer that they made.
03:14:05.000 Oh, shit.
03:14:06.000 They just uploaded it probably today.
03:14:07.000 What's the company?
03:14:08.000 Predator or something?
03:14:09.000 Yes, that's it.
03:14:10.000 Yeah.
03:14:11.000 Last week.
03:14:11.000 So they made a coronavirus.
03:14:13.000 That's what it says.
03:14:13.000 I don't know.
03:14:14.000 Um-V. I was making a big assumption.
03:14:16.000 See, that's the shit that they make.
03:14:18.000 They make things like those, but then they put these bonkers engines in them.
03:14:24.000 Have you ever ridden in one of those?
03:14:25.000 You're real far from the person.
03:14:27.000 We would be like this.
03:14:28.000 That's how far we would be.
03:14:30.000 If I was driving and you were the passenger, there would be almost this much space in between us.
03:14:34.000 They're real weird.
03:14:36.000 But dude, you don't worry about shit when you're in one of those things.
03:14:39.000 You're like, run me over, motherfucker.
03:14:41.000 Good luck, bitch.
03:14:43.000 They just feel like a real tank.
03:14:47.000 You could run over a wall in them, right?
03:14:49.000 That's the thing I remember when I was a kid.
03:14:50.000 I don't know about that.
03:14:51.000 They could go over a three-foot wall or some shit.
03:14:53.000 Oh, over a wall?
03:14:54.000 Yeah, the whole underside is completely protected.
03:14:57.000 Like, you can scratch over all kinds of shit, and everything's inside.
03:15:00.000 That's why there's that big hump.
03:15:01.000 It's because the drivetrain is all protected underneath the chassis.
03:15:05.000 So you get this extraordinary travel in terms of how far, like, you go over a rock, like, your height.
03:15:15.000 What is that called?
03:15:17.000 There's a term for that.
03:15:20.000 How much travel space you have underneath the vehicle clearance that's it yeah, so you have a shit ton of clearance and You know that's a military designed over engineered vehicle for the streets, but if you're like super paranoid I like how my car,
03:15:35.000 you could do the clearance, you could like raise it, you know, or lower it.
03:15:40.000 That's pretty nice.
03:15:40.000 Yeah, those are the future, right?
03:15:42.000 Cybertruck.
03:15:43.000 Yeah, all those electric cars are the future.
03:15:45.000 They're just going to get better at charging them.
03:15:47.000 It's the future.
03:15:48.000 Especially if we could really get solar down here in LA. If we really nail solar.
03:15:54.000 Yeah.
03:15:55.000 I mean, the technology needs to change, for sure, because it would be nice to have solar on your car.
03:16:00.000 But right now, I think I've read, like, if you had all solar panels on top of your car, it still wouldn't do anything.
03:16:07.000 Isn't that crazy, though?
03:16:08.000 Like, you have a source of power that people use to power their homes and big buildings, solar, but you can't utilize it in a car, which is always in the sun.
03:16:18.000 Yeah.
03:16:18.000 Especially out here.
03:16:19.000 Right.
03:16:21.000 Fisker figured it out.
03:16:22.000 You know, Fisker did.
03:16:23.000 They had a roof.
03:16:24.000 They had a solar roof that powered the radio.
03:16:26.000 Yeah, it only powered the radio, though.
03:16:29.000 But that's better than nothing.
03:16:32.000 You think it would still be like, hey, if my car is sitting out all day, at least it gave me 20 miles.
03:16:38.000 Right, right.
03:16:39.000 Sitting in the parking lot all day, it should be sucking up some juice.
03:16:43.000 Yeah.
03:16:44.000 I think that's coming, too.
03:16:45.000 I think just the technology is just not 100% there.
03:16:48.000 Well, they need a battery technology jump, right?
03:16:51.000 They need a big jump in how much power gets stored and how quickly you can get it in there.
03:16:55.000 Because right now, it's still a little clunky.
03:16:57.000 Yeah.
03:16:58.000 Well, the Tesla wall, the battery pack on the wall, that's pretty badass.
03:17:03.000 It's pretty badass, but what I mean is it takes too long to charge a car, and then it doesn't have long enough of a range.
03:17:10.000 Right.
03:17:11.000 Well, that's when the wireless charging on the roads, where you're just driving on a wireless charger.
03:17:15.000 You just got to give up a microchip.
03:17:17.000 They just put a microchip in your hand, and you're fine.
03:17:19.000 And it's also, it doubles as a corona tester, so you make sure that you never get mistaken for someone with corona.
03:17:25.000 They just have to scan you.
03:17:27.000 Hey, you're going to this bathroom.
03:17:28.000 Can I have your hand, please?
03:17:29.000 Oh, green.
03:17:31.000 Go ahead and urinate with peace and harmony.
03:17:33.000 Go ahead.
03:17:35.000 We're putting those UV lights everywhere.
03:17:37.000 Am I freaking out?
03:17:37.000 I mean, really, I'm trying not to sound like a conspiracy nut, because I'm not accusing anyone of creating a conspiracy.
03:17:43.000 But what I am saying is if I was a conspiracy nut, or if I was a country that was conspiring to take over the world, this is not a bad way to do it.
03:17:54.000 I don't think that's happening right now.
03:17:55.000 I want to be real clear.
03:17:57.000 But it's kind of the same result that we're experiencing right now, where everyone's being forced to shut down with who knows what consequences.
03:18:06.000 But it's also the right thing to do.
03:18:08.000 So we're all like, whoa.
03:18:10.000 How do you, you know, it's another one of those things about being a person where the right thing to do still feels crazy.
03:18:17.000 Still feels like, all right, we're just gonna sit around.
03:18:20.000 Yeah, I guess that's what you have to do, you know?
03:18:23.000 And it's kind of, in one way, encouraging that so many people are willing to stay home.
03:18:28.000 And people aren't rebelling.
03:18:30.000 They're like, fuck you.
03:18:31.000 This is my country.
03:18:31.000 I'm gonna go to work.
03:18:32.000 I'll take a chance.
03:18:34.000 Everybody's going to get it anyway.
03:18:35.000 Fuck you.
03:18:36.000 There's way less people doing that.
03:18:38.000 And when you consider that the government is controlling 320 million people, pretty crazy.
03:18:46.000 Almost everyone's complying with staying home.
03:18:49.000 There's only a few essential businesses.
03:18:52.000 Yeah, we're going to have to, I think, really have spacesuits to leave the house and work.
03:18:59.000 And they're gonna probably be like this, this metal plastic thing that could wash off.
03:19:03.000 Yeah, they're all gonna be padded.
03:19:05.000 Dudes are gonna put socks in their spacesuits.
03:19:07.000 It's gonna be a mess.
03:19:10.000 Are you worried, Jamie?
03:19:11.000 Yeah.
03:19:12.000 I've never seen you this worried.
03:19:13.000 Because everything you're sort of saying, I look into the future and sort of see where we're headed.
03:19:18.000 And I don't see a...
03:19:21.000 I don't really see much out there because I don't know where it is.
03:19:23.000 But it's not anything good because there's nothing there I don't see.
03:19:26.000 Like, going to the movies again, seems like that's probably close to out.
03:19:31.000 Movies were already...
03:19:32.000 Dying anyway.
03:19:33.000 Yeah, they might not survive this.
03:19:34.000 They've already opened up the ability to, like, put those right into your house for 20 bucks.
03:19:38.000 Perfect.
03:19:38.000 Way better.
03:19:39.000 Sweet.
03:19:39.000 So Winter Movie Theater's gonna open again.
03:19:41.000 Alright, what's next?
03:19:42.000 Yeah.
03:19:42.000 Concerts?
03:19:44.000 Sporting events?
03:19:45.000 Yeah.
03:19:45.000 I don't know.
03:19:47.000 That's just, those are all the fun things we used to do, so, like, fuck.
03:19:50.000 It's also, once everything's in place where they can treat people effectively and they have the adequate number of ventilators, then are we going to go back to the way things were?
03:20:03.000 Or are we going to have new standards in place?
03:20:06.000 I don't know.
03:20:08.000 I don't know, man.
03:20:09.000 Look, they did an unprecedented thing.
03:20:11.000 They locked down the entire country to save people's lives.
03:20:14.000 Never happened before.
03:20:16.000 We're in new territory.
03:20:18.000 And you know it's dangerous when a moron like me is making sense.
03:20:22.000 When I'm one of the people who's talking about something like this.
03:20:27.000 I just read yesterday, I don't know if someone shared this, it was F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, I think this was a letter found from 1920 when he was living in France during the Spanish flu.
03:20:38.000 I don't know who he was writing to, I'll try to find it right now, but he was talking about how they stocked up on a bunch of alcohol and people were being told, almost like now, you're told not to go anywhere but some people don't believe it.
03:20:49.000 I forget, he was talking about another writer friend of his who wasn't taking it seriously and like Whoa, so it was like real similar.
03:20:55.000 It sounded very similar to this.
03:20:57.000 Yeah.
03:20:59.000 I guess that's how people always have been, right?
03:21:02.000 Especially back then when it's real hard to get information.
03:21:06.000 Imagine, people are dying and everyone's just like, what's going on?
03:21:09.000 You gotta read the newspaper, like, fuck!
03:21:10.000 Son of a bitch.
03:21:12.000 What happened?
03:21:12.000 It's fake.
03:21:15.000 How'd they get you?
03:21:15.000 I just saw that this note was going viral during the pandemic and a lot of people have been falling for it.
03:21:20.000 Son of a bitch.
03:21:21.000 I guess I was one of them.
03:21:23.000 Well, what a good way to end.
03:21:27.000 Everything's fine.
03:21:28.000 Everything's fake.
03:21:30.000 I'm glad you guys are still doing Kill Tony.
03:21:32.000 I really do.
03:21:33.000 I think it's an awesome move.
03:21:34.000 It's the way to go.
03:21:35.000 Just keep pumping out the content.
03:21:37.000 Let people know you're there.
03:21:39.000 They'll be psyched when everything gets back up and running again.
03:21:42.000 You guys back up and running to your live shows.
03:21:44.000 I hope we're all on the road again at the very least this summer.
03:21:48.000 I really hope so.
03:21:50.000 It's been fun though.
03:21:52.000 Having this podcast.
03:21:53.000 Definitely.
03:21:54.000 Good times.
03:21:54.000 Good times.
03:21:55.000 Fun times.
03:21:56.000 Give everybody your Instagram.
03:21:59.000 Redband.
03:21:59.000 R-E-D-B-A-N. Twitter, same.
03:22:01.000 Yeah, Redband.
03:22:02.000 And check my VR out.
03:22:04.000 I'm doing it.
03:22:04.000 Almost every night I'm doing VR. Can I join in there and fuck with you?
03:22:09.000 They're in the chat room.
03:22:10.000 I have the chat room open right now.
03:22:11.000 But no, no, no.
03:22:12.000 I mean like in the game.
03:22:13.000 They can when I'm playing VRChat, which is my second thing I've been playing a lot, VRChat.
03:22:17.000 It's like an old chat room back in the day.
03:22:19.000 Oh, so you can see it when you're in VR? You know, Ready Player One, where everyone's a different avatar?
03:22:24.000 That's how it is.
03:22:25.000 It's like you come up and SpongeBob's talking to you.
03:22:28.000 Fucking movie, man!
03:22:30.000 Oh, so you actually talk to the people and you see them?
03:22:31.000 Oh, you see them?
03:22:32.000 You have sex with them in the game.
03:22:34.000 It's great.
03:22:34.000 So check it out.
03:22:36.000 Redband on YouTube.
03:22:36.000 Oh, they're going to all fuck you now.
03:22:38.000 All right.
03:22:40.000 Bye, everybody.
03:22:45.000 That was a good one dude.
03:22:46.000 A lot of cylinders.