In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with a good friend of mine and talk about the early days of his career and how he got his start in the world of web development. We talk about how he went from being a nerd to being a professional web designer, and what it was like being on the cutting edge of the internet in the late 90s and early 2000s. We also talk about some of the most memorable moments of his life and how it all led him to where he is today. It was a blast and I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did making it. Thank you so much to my friend Joe for coming on the pod and talking about all things web development, and I can't wait to do it again with him in the future! Cheers, Joe and I XOXO, Joe & Joe xoxo - The O.G. Crew and Joe's Dad, Tom Green ( ) This episode is brought to you by VaynerSpeedy is a production of Gimlet Media and produced by DIVE Studios. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! or wherever else you get your content. Please rate, review and subscribe to our content. We are always looking for quality content, tips and tricks to help spread the word about what's going on in the workplace and social media! We love you guys are awesome! - Thank you for being awesome, thank you, bye! Love ya, bye, bye bye. - Joe & bye, EJ & EJ. <3 - Tom and EJ - Cheers! - Mike & Joe, Cheers. - The OG. . - Mike, Mike, Kristy, - SOTG "The OG" - EJ, AKA the OG! Mike, J. ( ) - Mike & Mike, & Mike ( ) <3 - J.B. ( ). Thanks for listening to the O.O. , EJ ( ) and Mike ( , J.A. ( ), J. B. ( ) - JB ( ) ( ) & J. O. (?) AND J. SONGS ( ) . JOSEPH ( ) AND JOSH ( ) ?
00:00:03.000You're the OG. We can give each other real knuckles.
00:00:08.000I'm not like a paranoid person, but I'll tell you, Joe, you got me to leave my house for the first time in five weeks.
00:00:16.000I'm so happy you left, and I'm so happy you got tested.
00:00:18.000Yeah, my first time in five weeks that I've left the house, and yeah, I got tested, and I'm And everything's great, but I'm not paranoid or anything like that.
00:01:09.000Right before this happened, and I kind of think to myself sometimes, I think, okay, imagine if I had been in a relationship that hadn't been going well, and this happened, and then you have to make the decision to isolate with somebody.
00:01:26.000I've been talking a lot to my friends on FaceTime and I've been socializing and I've been, you know, living life in this world, but alone in my house.
00:01:36.000I'm going through my computers, started going through old footage.
00:01:40.000I found that clip from when you came up to my house back in the day.
00:01:44.000And yeah, I just, I saw this moment where I'll jump right into this if that's cool.
00:01:51.000Because I saw this moment in the clip where we started talking about my old web show and you'd come up to my house back in the day and it was so cool that you came up then.
00:01:59.000And I remember at the time, your website was like way advanced, right?
00:02:04.000Like it had all sorts of extra stuff on it that people weren't really doing on the web back then.
00:02:10.000And you came up and we just started talking about the web.
00:02:13.000That was because of my webmaster, Andrew Blevins.
00:02:54.000I thought, that's hilarious because, you know, Not to blow too much smoke up your ass, but clearly you figured out how to make money off of it, and it was hilarious.
00:03:03.000I'm like, that's a hilarious and prophetic moment.
00:06:45.000It's a scary thing getting on stage in front of an audience if you've never done it before, but you get comfortable behind that mic.
00:06:51.000But anyways, yeah man, it was so cool when you came up because I remember like, I think there was like Entertainment Tonight was there that day or something like that.
00:08:35.000But I wanted to be autonomous of them as well.
00:08:38.000So I got my own servers through this company, BitGravity, where they basically invented the technology to upload video and then serve it out.
00:08:48.000So I would link that to my website, TomGreen.com.
00:08:52.000Completely autonomous of the other website, Mania TV. So, you know, it was funny shit that happened there because I remember I think back, I go, I really made a few mistakes.
00:09:07.000I go, I want all the stuff to be on my website.
00:10:23.000Like just being able to get it onto the website and make sure it streams and all the technical stuff is super complex, but just the concept is pretty simple.
00:10:31.000You, with your phone or a video camera, you film it, you can upload it.
00:10:54.000I haven't thought about that, but I guess the amount of advancement that happens every six months in technology and they've got the funding to be able to stay right on top of it and just make it the strongest platform possibly.
00:11:12.000I mean, there's Facebook, and I guess people hold discussions on Instagram, but if I read...
00:11:18.000One of the things that drives me crazy about Instagram is, like, if I go to your page and I'm reading one of your captions, someone will say something in response to someone, they're like, hey, fuck you, dick boy, or whatever, and then I try to click and find out what they were talking about, and I get to the beginning of the comments.
00:11:36.000And then I gotta go through all the comments to try to figure this out.
00:13:03.000Yeah, and I've fallen into that trap for sure.
00:13:07.000I've gone through sort of cycles of the way I handle comments.
00:13:12.000I've become an indiscriminate blocker, is what I do now.
00:13:15.000The first sign of negativity is a boom.
00:13:17.000And I know some people say, oh, that's not very democratic, but whatever.
00:13:20.000The way I look at it is you create an environment.
00:13:24.000I'm trying to create a positive environment on my social media.
00:13:26.000But the problem is, and what you're saying is making me...
00:13:30.000Second-guess myself, to be honest with you, because I know I spend far too much time on that shit, and I'm thinking, man, I really should just not read that stuff.
00:13:42.000Even now, when people are forced to not work, you can do one of two things, right?
00:13:46.000You could either drink all day, which a lot of people are doing.
00:13:49.000There's a hilarious video of this guy who's out jogging in his neighborhood, just passing by people's recyclables, pointing out all the empty wine bottles and empty vodka bottles.
00:13:57.000And he just jogs over, let's see what this guy's got.
00:14:46.000Sure, Kindle and all these things are taken.
00:14:47.000And bookstores were hurting already because of Amazon, because you just order it online.
00:14:51.000Like, if I want a book, it's there tomorrow.
00:14:54.000There's something about that, like not having to leave.
00:14:56.000And now that people are getting used to getting groceries delivered, if you live in a neighborhood that has a grocery store that delivers, you can just order online, they'll send it to your house.
00:15:04.000So I've, like I said, I haven't left my house in five weeks.
00:17:02.000But you touched the stuff that they touched, right?
00:17:04.000Well, again, just to be safe, I did disinfect them, and then I take them and I put them with gloves, with rubber gloves, and I put them into another room, and I let it sit for three days for the virus to die.
00:17:22.000I wish there was a clear answer to all this.
00:17:26.000I wish there was a clear solution to all this.
00:17:30.000I tell ya, talking to you is making me feel better.
00:17:35.000Well, I feel better reading the latest statistics about the mortality rate.
00:17:40.000I wonder what the actual- there's an infection rate, hospitalization rate, mortality rate, and what was it- was the study that was- was it UCLA? Is that what it was?
00:17:57.000But the bad news is this, you know, it could still kill a lot of fucking people.
00:18:02.000And people that are immune compromised, people with diabetes, people that are overweight, people with lung problems, people with cigarette habits, all those.
00:18:10.000And particularly one of the nurses was saying people who were into the Juul.
00:19:55.000When we would, in jujitsu, sometimes guys would get staph infections, or ringworm is a big one.
00:20:02.000And ringworm, they would use antibacterial soap, and it would wind up fucking up their whole body, and they'd wind up getting it more often.
00:20:09.000Like, they think, oh, I'm just using antibacterial soap all the time.
00:24:15.000See, this is why this disease is so fucked up.
00:24:18.000It just seems like for some people, it's a death sentence, and then for other people, it's nothing.
00:24:25.000That just doesn't make any sense to me.
00:24:29.000Clearly, I'm not a doctor, and clearly this is a new virus, but it's just so weird that something could be asymptomatic for a huge amount of people, but some people get it and they barely even notice it.
00:24:41.000They just feel a little bit of fatigue.
00:24:43.000Some people get a little bit of a cough for a couple days, and then nothing, and other people are dead.
00:25:13.000I got my show on MTV. People were watching.
00:25:16.000I'd been doing it on public access in Canada for years, six years.
00:25:19.000I'd been working away, making my own show, because, you know, no one's ever going to give me a friggin' show, so I'll make my own show, right?
00:25:36.000Fortunately, I went to the doctor, which a lot of young people who get testicular cancer, thank you very much, don't go to the doctor right away.
00:25:49.000But for me, having that happen at that time was so bizarre.
00:25:59.000I sometimes think if I had gotten that...
00:26:02.000Testicular cancer one year earlier, you know, MTV wouldn't have picked up the show yet.
00:26:08.000So I would have been in Canada dealing with it and then probably they wouldn't have picked up the show and my life would be completely different.
00:26:13.000That sort of change and sort of the, you know, I don't believe there's coincidences.
00:26:19.000Sometimes I don't believe in coincidences.
00:27:43.000Little details in that Pro Tools program that I've not unlocked.
00:27:47.000Little mysteries because I haven't had time to go in and figure out how to mix and do compression and do all the little things that you do.
00:28:57.000YouTube said that they're going to take down anything that doesn't coincide with the World Health Organization's ruling on, you know, what to do about this pandemic.
00:29:08.000YouTube is taking down things, and I don't know how specific they're going to be about this, but they were saying alternate therapies like vitamin C and things along those lines.
00:29:19.000Which is kind of unfortunate because unless they're not being that strict about it because I would say if someone's saying how do you if somebody made a video someone who's a nutrition expert and they made a video how to protect your immune system from COVID-19 or maybe Just protect your immune system during the time of COVID-19.
00:29:43.000So I'm not even saying that it's protecting it from that, but how to boost up your immune system in this very dangerous time in terms of viral infections.
00:29:53.000There's things you can do, like get more sleep, drink more water, eat healthier, keep your body healthy with nutrients, and making sure you're eating clean, and don't drink alcohol, and don't smoke cigarettes.
00:30:03.000If you just do those things, this is real.
00:30:08.000So I don't know what you can get away with saying and what you can't get away with saying, but you can't always just hope that doctors come up with a cure.
00:30:15.000Because yes, the doctors are going to come up with a cure, and yes, we need them to do that.
00:30:20.000But you can't always think that medicine is going to fix you and you can just keep doing what you've always been doing that got you sick in the first place.
00:30:28.000Because a lot of times when you get sick, it has to do with how you've been living.
00:35:04.000I wouldn't normally think about having vegetables, the kind of person that I'll eat rice.
00:35:09.000So do you think you had a premonition or do you think you saw what was going on in China and you were like, you know what, it would be a good move to have a month's worth of food here.
00:35:18.000It's not like some sort of superstitious thing.
00:35:20.000You don't feel like the universe is sending you a signal and you need to go buy corn.
00:35:27.000Well, I watched one of your shows recently where you're talking about, I love this episode, where you're talking about, are we living in a simulation?
00:36:00.000Well, I mean, the computers are getting so fast.
00:36:03.000I mean, they're going to be able to program computers that have conscious...
00:36:07.000You know, that little character on the computer might be able to start to think, and then it might start to be able to self-determine, and then we could just be an advanced version of that, and how would we ever know?
00:36:15.000And my mom's sitting there going, oh, what are you talking about?
00:36:18.000And then I had a pretty long day of talking about this with my mom and trying to convince her not that we're living in a simulation, but that it's possible we could be living in a simulation.
00:36:30.000And then two weeks later, this happens, and I'm thinking...
00:36:33.000Is this like because we're living in a simulation?
00:36:36.000Because if you were living in a simulation and then you started talking about it and then the creator of the simulation heard that, he might start a pandemic.
00:36:45.000Maybe the problem is the term simulation.
00:37:00.000Maybe if you stop and think about events that take place that ultimately all seem to be leading towards events, right?
00:37:08.000When you think about the invention of electricity and then the electronics of the 80s and the 90s that led to everyone having a home computer, that led to everybody having a computer in your pocket, that listens to everything you say and takes pictures and uploads video.
00:37:23.000Just keeps getting more and more advanced and more and more intertwined with you being a person until one day you enter it and you become a part of it.
00:37:34.000And they create something inside the world of computers that's far more compelling than the regular world itself.
00:37:40.000But maybe that's just a natural course of progression, and that's where life is going anyway.
00:37:45.000Like, maybe that's just a new kind of life, a new dimension of life, and that all these things just come about through that.
00:37:53.000They come about through either natural causes, like, you know, star supernova-ing, and, you know, everything coalesces, and things become carbon-based life forms emerge, and life becomes what it is in 2020. Or those things figure out how to open up new realities and that what a simulation would be would just be another reality.
00:38:16.000That we were created by some person doing the exact same thing that we're doing right now.
00:38:22.000That one day we get to the point where technology is so spectacularly advanced That you could have a new world that's indiscernible, like you can't tell that it's not real.
00:39:00.000Because when you got a guy that intelligent and he's saying there's a 1% chance or one in a billion chance that we're not living in a simulation, you think...
00:39:20.000That was a very complicated discussion.
00:39:21.000We were talking about probability theory.
00:39:23.000The probability of us living life inside of a simulation is actually higher.
00:39:30.000Because ultimately we're going to come up with a simulation someday.
00:39:33.000And then when you talk about this stuff enough, And when you watch your show, which I do, and you listen to these complex conversations, right?
00:41:18.000So, because it's big, it takes up a lot of shelf space.
00:41:21.000Maybe everyone's talked about this already, but it takes up a lot of shelf space.
00:41:24.000So, all of a sudden, everybody went to the grocery store at the same time, and there's probably far less toilet paper at the grocery store than it would appear, just because it takes an entire aisle, because it's big.
00:42:20.000Everyone grabbed a can of corn, everyone grabbed a can of beans, but it didn't create an entire empty aisle that then got people thinking, talking, and tweeting, and typing, and Instagramming.
00:42:28.000It's also something dumb people think about a lot.
00:43:54.000Yeah, we're just having a conversation.
00:43:56.000Sometimes it's repetitive, unfortunately, because the people that are listening in, they listen to me having conversations with people that haven't heard the other conversations, and we wind up talking about the same shit.
00:46:11.000And then you're talking about it again, and you know you're talking about it again, and they know, and then you're trying to pretend that you haven't heard it before, and you're kind of doing this sort of, can't really force the laugh, but you do, and then it doesn't feel right.
00:46:42.000I love creating, whether it's an interview or a conversation, I love listening to people and just...
00:46:50.000Waiting and feeling that rhythm of it.
00:46:52.000It's something that's very interesting to me, which took a long time to figure out.
00:46:56.000And that's what's kind of exciting about doing this stuff, is you do learn as you do these shows.
00:47:02.000And where else would you ever have the opportunity in the history of broadcasting, right, to have built your own studio and go, oh, I'm going to do, you know, how many thousand shows have you done now?
00:47:13.000I'm going to do a thousand shows, right?
00:47:14.000I mean, you've got more, you know, Time as a interviewer than anyone, like in history, other than the few handful of people that had shows that didn't get canceled, right?
00:47:27.000Everyone else, they got a chance to do a talk show.
00:47:29.000They got to do it for a few weeks or a few months or a few years and then they get canceled.
00:49:29.000Like, if you were an employee, like Showtime, if Showtime put some Tom Green show together and you're like, oh, I want an indoor archery range, like, listen, we can't do that.
00:50:31.000But was there a moment, though, in your house when you were doing it where something happened that made you say, this is, you know, like, did anyone ever come up and not want to leave after?
00:53:18.000I have a lot of great guests coming up.
00:53:21.000You know, sometimes we'd have a few too many, sometimes turned into, every time we had a few too many, turned into, it turned into a party every night, it turned into a party that never ended every night, it turned into, you know, I remember like, we had great stories too, don't get me wrong,
00:58:04.000So I found that that was going to be my way of monetizing my web show, was I'm going to go on tour and all of a sudden I started, I jumped up the comedy store and I felt that feeling, you know, that feeling I hadn't felt since I was, you know, 19 was the last time I'd done it, you know?
00:58:35.000All of a sudden, six years of doing the web show and paying for it out of my pocket and worrying about it, and all of a sudden, whoa, I'm like making good money doing stand-up.
00:58:46.000I like this idea, getting paid to do what I love to do as opposed to paying for what I love to do.
00:58:53.000And so then I'd come home from the road.
00:58:55.000And the equipment was getting more obsolete, too.
00:58:58.000It was like it was dust on it, and the camera worked.
00:59:02.000You turn it on, it wouldn't work as well.
00:59:39.000Every club in the U.S., I'm loving it and I just love doing it.
00:59:44.000What I love about stand-up is I'm not sure if this is true at your point, but for me, I still feel like every time I get on stage, I feel like I'm learning something and getting better at it.
01:00:18.000Well, it's clearly something that the more you do it, the better you get at it.
01:00:21.000If you're enthusiastic and you're concentrating on it, the more you do it, the better you get at it.
01:00:25.000And the more years you have in, it's like the more data You've processed how to do it right and how to do it wrong and what to avoid and what to emphasize and all these different things.
01:00:37.000They just get to a greater and greater understanding of this thing.
01:00:40.000So really, there is a difference between like 10 years and 20 years, 20 years and 30 years.
01:00:47.000As long as you really are still passionate about it, you will still get better at it.
01:00:52.000Dom Herrera said this to me, and Dom's been doing it longer than me.
01:00:55.000I remember watching Dom on TV when I was thinking about doing comedy.
01:00:59.000He was already on TV. And when I became friends with him, he was like one of the first guys that was friends with.
01:01:03.000He was like, I can't believe I'm friends with Dom Herrera.
01:01:06.000And to this day, Dom's been doing comedy probably 40 fucking years.
01:01:10.000To this day, he still says, you know, you just keep concentrating on it, you still get better.
01:01:16.000I'm like, that is the craziest thing, isn't it?
01:01:18.000As long as you're still locked in, and some guys like Dom are still locked in, he still crushes.
01:01:39.000It's like whatever you're doing, whether it was your public access show or whether it's you doing stand-up or maybe you become an author, whatever the fuck it is, that thing, you just have to really be all in on that thing and really be interested in that thing.
01:01:52.000And if you are, you're going to get better at it.
01:02:39.000And this is one thing that's going to happen to a lot of comics.
01:02:42.000After this break, when you come back you're going to be so thankful, so thankful that you can make people feel good, that we can all have a night out together where people come and they're on dates and they're just happy to be there and they're there to have a good time and the comics are so happy that everybody's there and everybody gets just a good old love fest out of it.
01:03:53.000We get to hang out with some of the best, funniest people in the world and make each other laugh and just joke around and hang out in that back bar and Tell war stories and just laugh and have so much fun.
01:04:08.000And I think one great thing about this for us is it's going to make us appreciate how special and how fortunate that is.
01:04:15.000I think for a lot of other people, during this time off that have been on the fence about quitting what they do, I bet a lot of people are going to change course in their career.
01:04:24.000I bet a lot of people are going to realize, you know what?
01:04:26.000This could all be just taken away from me.
01:04:29.000And even though I'm playing it safe, doing something I don't want to do, it still got taken away from me.
01:04:33.000And I didn't even have a chance to take a chance.
01:04:36.000I was trying to do this thing and do the right thing and follow my degree and...
01:04:41.000Now they're going to go, since this can be taken away from me at any time, I'm going to do what I want to do.
01:04:45.000I'm going to try to find out how to make a career, whatever their interest is, whether it's making tents or fucking painting, whatever it is.
01:05:37.000When you go on the hunt, you don't set up some crazy new model tent?
01:05:41.000I have, but I prefer to do the most miserable.
01:05:46.000I think the most miserable is rain because cold you can get warm like I've done Montana we did the Missouri me and Brian Callen with my friend Steve Rinell and his crew for the meat-eater show we did the Missouri breaks in Montana in October and it was cold as fuck it was like nine degrees some days that was cold but that's not as miserable as wet wet's more miserable one time we did Prince of Wales which is the most rainy part of Alaska Yeah,
01:06:58.000When I was 14 years old, I got really into skateboarding.
01:07:01.000I'd already been doing it, but when you start to become a teenager, somehow, I don't know how this happens, but somehow with skateboarding, you equate I think it's a male energy thing or like a – you know,
01:07:23.000you start to feel like – I gotta be the best skateboarder.
01:07:28.000So all of a sudden, I don't know what kind of energy it is.
01:08:13.000It was an American group from upstate New York.
01:08:16.000They drove up, a group of 12 people, and they were divided into, like, five groups of 12 that would go out into the middle— You know what it's like in northern Canada.
01:08:26.000It's like you're in the middle of nowhere.
01:08:28.000You're going out into Lake Kippewa in northern Quebec.
01:08:31.000Dude, I'll show you the middle of Canada.
01:11:22.000Because the voyageurs, right, were the French-Canadian fur traders who came down from northern Canada with the Hudson's Bay Company selling their beaver pelts and all this stuff.
01:11:54.000And you'd have to carry your canoe, and then you'd have to go back three miles, and then you'd have to pick up all your food and all that stuff.
01:11:59.000It was a pretty intense thing, you know?
01:12:01.000What they had was every two weeks, a float plane would come in, would land, they'd resupply the 12 groups of people, and then everyone would go off in their own direction.
01:12:11.000So we were off there with, like, maybe 12 people.
01:12:13.000And I don't think they would do this anymore.
01:12:15.000It was, like, one instructor guy who was probably 25 years old.
01:12:19.000And I was with a bunch of 14-year-olds.
01:15:11.000You know when you're up past midnight and we're going along, it was up late that night, maybe it was probably 10 o'clock, but it felt like midnight because I was up late as a kid.
01:15:20.000And I was like literally six and we were going along the shoreline pitch black, you know, hardly see anything.
01:15:27.000There's like a lot of mosquitoes up there too.
01:18:22.000You ever get those moments, I just had one moment like this, where I'm sitting here and I'm looking at you, you know, in front of the American flag, on the show, I watch the show all the time, and I'm sitting here and it's just, it's awesome, man.
01:20:49.000If you were watching, would you be watching this going, this corny motherfucker's full of shit.
01:20:54.000Would you be watching and saying that, or would you be watching and going, well, that's probably a difficult position to be in, but in that position, that guy's showing some character.
01:21:36.000You know, that's important for comedy, too, because there's a lot of people out there doing stand-up that don't do stand-up for themselves.
01:21:41.000They don't do shit they would go to see.
01:23:19.000And so you want to pay attention to other people that are trying to get better and people that are legitimately tuned in, people that are legitimately sensitive, people that are legitimately expressing themselves in an honest way.
01:23:29.000It's very nourishing because it makes you realize it's possible.
01:23:33.000And that's what we all give each other.
01:23:35.000We all give each other through these moments of grace and these moments of intuition, these moments of inspiration, of observation.
01:23:43.000Sometimes you have the ability to express a thought that you didn't have yesterday.
01:23:46.000Like a thought will come into your head and you'll be able to express it to people and then they say it and then they'll say it back to you and you start talking and you realize like, oh, you just popped into something.
01:24:02.000I found something about myself, and I found something maybe you could relate to.
01:24:05.000And then other people listening go, oh, and if they know you really did find something, they know you're not bullshitting, they listen to it and they go, hmm, is he right?
01:24:47.000That's why you're saying you keep getting better.
01:24:49.000The more you do stand-up, you're getting more and more authentic.
01:24:52.000You're figuring out what resonates the most with you, the way you think, the way you perform.
01:24:59.000You feel like there's going to be, and we sort of touched on this, but when this thing ends, I feel like stand-up comedians are going to be so happy to be back on stage and have had a break, you know, because so many comedians have been go,
01:25:45.000Yeah, I think it might have been right after I filmed my special, too.
01:25:49.000I think I filmed a special, and then I think I took some time off after that, which I like to do sometimes, just kind of reset my perspective, make sure I'm not bullshitting, like I'm talking about things I'm actually interested in.
01:26:03.000So sometimes when you're working too much, like one thing that does happen with stand-ups, they spend all their time either traveling or doing stand-up, you're not living enough.
01:26:12.000And if you're not living enough, you don't see enough things.
01:26:15.000That you have an opinion on, you're thinking about your career, you're thinking about your set list, you're thinking about a lot of shit that doesn't factor in with the, you know, it's very narrow-minded in a sense.
01:26:27.000So not only have all of All of comedy, every comedian has been forced to take a break, to go do something else, but also to do something else during a crazy, scary time where we're all being forced to think about our mortality,
01:26:42.000think about the world, think about the environment, think about...
01:27:30.000When you go, go, go all the time, sometimes you get stuck in a pattern of momentum, right?
01:27:36.000Where you don't have enough time to evaluate and go, am I doing the right thing?
01:27:40.000I think there's a good lesson to be learned in a reset in that you could kind of, if the world is crazy and it's not anything, nothing's the same now, and I think we can all safely say that.
01:27:53.000When the whole world shuts down, you're not allowed to work and Everyone's supposed to stay six feet apart and everyone outside is wearing a mask.
01:27:58.000When you get to a point like that, you can kind of agree.
01:29:16.000So you feel like you want to get things done and accomplish things and go for things that maybe you held back on before because you wanted to play it safe.
01:30:56.000That you have to have a young fresh movement of freedom and then eventually human nature sort of fucking chokes it and gets it in the rear naked, puts it to sleep.
01:31:46.000And I want all the money, and I want all the bitches, and I'm going to shoot the bombs, and I'm going to control all the people, and I want all the food.
01:31:52.000The people are used to it, and they accept it.
01:31:56.000It's weird, you know, I went to China for the first time in my life one year ago, okay?
01:32:04.000Strangely enough, I'd never been there before.
01:32:07.000That's another thing that happened a year earlier that it's perfect for your life.
01:32:12.000One year ago I did a show in Hong Kong and I did a show in Shanghai as well.
01:32:15.000Same as the MTV thing with your show and cancer.
01:32:17.000And the thing that I find interesting about China though, having had never been there before, Hong Kong, of course, that's different, right?
01:32:53.000I was saying to the guy that picked me up at the airport.
01:32:55.000I was like, well, I thought this was...
01:32:58.000Communist, how come they have big mansions?
01:33:01.000He's all, it's not really the way it works, and it's just sort of the economic system's not communist.
01:33:07.000I forget even how he explained it to me, but you sort of got over there and you realize, like, It didn't seem a whole lot different, to be honest with you.
01:33:41.000That's the thing about when we tour doing stand-up.
01:33:44.000Is that a thing that kind of bothers you sometimes when you go somewhere you've never been before and you get there and it's exactly the same?
01:33:51.000Where has it ever been exactly the same?
01:33:53.000Well, it's like I remember the first time I went to Australia.
01:33:56.000You thought Australia was exactly the same?
01:33:58.000Well, you got there and within five minutes I went to a Starbucks.
01:34:19.000I ended up getting Kentucky Fried Chicken.
01:34:21.000I had some Kentucky Fried Chicken in Bahrain after I've just flown to the other side of the world and I was thinking this is going to be so different and it wasn't that much different.
01:34:29.000It sounds like you were at a military base.
01:34:32.000So, well, in Bahrain, we were staying at a Marriott, and then we went into Kuwait, and then we went into- So where'd you get the Kentucky Fried Chicken?
01:34:39.000Were you in town, or was it a military base?
01:34:59.000I would love to land somewhere and deal only with the authentic culture.
01:35:04.000But there's also something kind of weird about flying for 18 hours and landing in some country and ordering a Big Mac and Seeing it being served up by people who live in this strange land different different than you You know grew up in a different environment different culture different language different alphabet Here you are eating a quarter pounder in the same place.
01:35:25.000It's like there's something about it that I like when things don't make any sense.
01:35:55.000I'm thrilled by ridiculous videos of dudes getting on a slip and slide trying to ride a fucking beer keg down the side of a hill when you know it's gonna go wrong.
01:36:17.000I'm not thrilled by anybody suffering, but I'm thrilled by chaos.
01:36:21.000I'm thrilled by the fact that this whole system gets thrown into a fucking, just a blender and spun around and no one knows what's going to get spit out.
01:36:31.000And a lot of these people, you're getting really clearly revealed that they're frauds.
01:36:37.000These people that are in positions of leadership are bizarre human beings that don't even live in reality.
01:36:43.000I was watching Nancy Pelosi trying to dance her way out of saying that in February she was telling people to go to Chinatown, hang out, have a good time, don't worry about it.
01:36:53.000You are doing the same thing you're accusing the president of doing.
01:36:56.000You're accusing Trump of not warning people.
01:37:40.000Doesn't mean those flaws aren't gonna exist, but those people are gonna have to be they're gonna have to be authentic They're not authentic right now Like when you see someone the record will show that I was there in Chinatown to tell people to not be racist The record will show you can't do that anymore.
01:37:57.000You can't do that anymore We demand you be authentic and if you made a mistake Like that?
01:39:31.000Well, I feel good about that, and I really feel good about, I guess it was what we're saying, it was the UCLA study that was saying that it has a much smaller rate of mortality than was initially thought.
01:39:44.000So early antibody testing, we talked about this...
01:41:23.000They're going to fight the war for you.
01:41:25.000If you have an army and your army is malfed and you're feeding them junk food and bullshit and you're pumping them full of cigarettes, you expect them to fight With all they have, what they have is going to be less.
01:41:38.000It doesn't mean they're not going to fight to the death or whatever, but what they have is going to be less than if you took that army and fed them healthy food and gave them eight hours rest a night and taught them how to meditate and kept stress low, like legitimately.
01:41:52.000And that's how you have to think about your immune system.
01:41:54.000The same way you would think about an army.
01:41:57.000Think about your immune system as this is going to be what protects you from the invaders.
01:42:02.000And the invaders are invisible viruses.
01:42:14.000And even knowing that scientific fact, beautifully intelligent people that are some of the most creative and innovative people the world has ever known still ignore their own physical health.
01:42:24.000Because they don't think of it as a primary concern.
01:42:26.000They think of it as a frivolous, egocentric, narcissistic endeavor to look good and work out.
01:42:34.000And what, are you going to wear fucking tank tops and flex your guns?
01:43:02.000Doesn't mean you have to be Mr. Olympia.
01:43:04.000Means you should be doing jump rope or push-ups or whatever your physically you can, if you have some limitations, whatever you can withstand.
01:43:12.000Walk around your block with ankle weights on.
01:45:41.000This is something that needs to be factored in.
01:45:43.000Another thing, there's a Bloomberg, there was an article that was written that were talking about the drop in the economy equivalent to the loss of a certain number of lives.
01:45:55.000And that every time the economy drops a certain percentage, it's equal to X amount of lives.
01:46:00.000We might get to a place where it's conceivable that more lives are lost because of the ensuing depression and economic shutdown than we would have been lost if we didn't close down anything and we just let everybody get sick.
01:46:17.000And this is one thing that we have to really rely on the people that are supposed to be in power to address accurately and honestly.
01:46:24.000No one knows the right way to do this.
01:46:28.000There are some real good protocols that are in place for keeping people healthy and protecting each other and staying away from each other as much as possible and wiping things down and using hand sanitizer and stopping the spread.
01:47:13.000The flu and all these other things that we're all terrified of...
01:47:16.000This is lack of, first of all, lack of information, not knowing.
01:47:21.000I mean, you don't know if you can prevent this, right?
01:47:25.000You know you eat well, and you look after yourself, you'd be less likely to have a heart attack, but you don't know if you can't breathe in a heart attack.
01:47:32.000Well, and then the heart attack thing is all dependent upon your genetics as well.
01:47:35.000There's some people that have a predisposition to heart attacks.
01:47:38.000But again, I guess I asked this already, but that's a lot of pressure, Joe.
01:47:44.000I mean, because if you say something wrong, and it's sending people...
01:48:10.000Because you're walking a very fine line, and I think you're walking it incredibly well in a way that many, many, many great many people are not, right?
01:48:18.000It seems like we're in this world now where, because everything's so polarized, oh, I've got to choose to say this, because that's what everyone's saying.
01:48:26.000And they're just kind of saying it because everyone's saying it.
01:48:28.000Whereas you definitely straddle that...
01:48:31.000Line in a way that to me seems incredibly astute, but also must be some pressure to make sure that you're right.
01:48:42.000Not until you started telling me about it.
01:48:43.000Now I'm thinking about it, freaking out, Tom Green.
01:48:46.000Well, because you could easily be here and saying, hey, this is bullshit.
01:48:52.000I told him he was my daddy, and now he's being Give me a little tap of that.
01:48:58.000Now he's basically giving me the hard conversation.
01:49:03.000Are you going to spray down the bottle?
01:49:57.000The vast majority Of the stuff that you do is going to be good.
01:50:01.000There's going to be moments where some guy, you were taking a left turn, and he honked you, and you said, fuck you, and he said, no, fuck you, and, like, that guy's got a bad opinion of you, you got a bad opinion of him.
01:51:18.000Doing like Muay Thai, doing martial arts.
01:51:20.000Like the more you do it, the more you think about how you're doing it and more you realize like, oh, there's like a lot of stuff I could learn here.
01:51:49.000Sometimes people fit the stereotype, but there's kind of something cool about someone saying, I'm going to turn my body into a work of art.
01:51:58.000I'm going to develop a freakish physique.
01:52:29.000At what point does it cross that line with bodybuilding?
01:52:32.000Like, you know, you're healthy, you're working out, you're getting, you know, clearly I work out.
01:52:35.000No, but you're working out, you're all of a sudden, you're starting to go, hey, I'm getting close to that line where, like, remember Joe Piscopo?
01:52:44.000You got real jacked at one point in time.
01:52:46.000I loved, like, because I was, you know, in the eighth grade, and Johnny Dangerously came out, you know, you're firing ice holes, and it was like, he was the funniest thing to me.
01:53:01.000I remember in the eighth grade, we were coming in, you farging ice holes, and we thought it was so hilarious because we're swearing, but we're not really swearing.
01:53:07.000But then all of a sudden, he became Arnold Schwarzenegger, and there was a decision that got made there at that point.
01:53:12.000I'm just curious because I'm not really around a lot of the – I don't go to the gym.
01:54:31.000It's like this weird sort of, you know, you got to do it, but I often make the decision like, because I've made this decision every time I go to a new hotel when I'm on the road.
01:54:42.000I say, this weekend, I'm going to work out.
01:55:47.000Whether or not it's real, but the concept of the muse is You settle in and receive creativity almost like as a divine gift from this magical entity, the muse.
01:55:59.000Now whether or not it's real is not important.
01:56:01.000What's important is if you treat it as if it's real, it does work.
01:56:06.000And what works is if you dedicate your time and your focus, like realistically, with a professional, disciplined effort to creativity.
01:56:15.000You show up every day, like a professional, but you show up to be creative if you just do it.
01:56:20.000On a regular basis, ideas will come to you.
01:56:31.000You show up and you do the work, you focus on it, and these ideas will come to you.
01:56:35.000And that's really true, if you really stop and think about it.
01:56:38.000If you write something, whether it's the most brilliant thing you've ever written, or whether you're not good at editing, and it turns out to be dog shit.
01:56:48.000You're just sitting down in front of your laptop and these thoughts are coming to you and all of a sudden you're talking about a kid who's riding a bike and he gets attacked by a werewolf.
01:56:56.000Like, where the fuck is this coming from?
01:57:00.000If it's not coming from the muse, where is it coming from?
01:57:35.000Like the same muscle that you develop when you go running every day, and then you get to the point where like seven days in, you start fucking feeling good running.
01:58:31.000Yeah, just make me feel bad about myself.
01:58:35.000I'm feeling bad about myself, and I don't like that feeling, so I'd rather just not do it.
01:58:40.000But I do think that, yeah, I guess getting a trainer would help because you have somebody to talk to.
01:58:47.000You know you're not making a mistake because they're telling you what to do.
01:58:50.000Not only are they telling you what to do, but they're going to chart progress.
01:58:52.000And they're gonna challenge you like a good trainer is look it's a very valuable resource Like if you can afford a trainer if you can't there's a lot of great resources online on YouTube man YouTube is for someone who wants to learn Exercise routines and wants to learn like a body weight routine that they can do just in their living room There's never been a better time to be quarantined You don't have to pay for a gym membership.
01:59:19.000A lot of people are going to realize, hey, if I have a fucking chin-up bar in my house and one kettlebell, I don't need a gym membership.
01:59:27.000I got gravity boots for stretching my back out.
02:04:01.000I'm sure it's probably a very big thing, but I just watched the movie about the free climbing movie that's playing on the plane, about the guy that climbed...
02:05:13.000Climbing up the surfaces of these insane rocks.
02:05:19.000Dude, he was telling us a story in the podcast of one time he was halfway up the side of this fucking mountain and he realized he didn't bring his chalk with him.
02:05:35.000So he's fucking a thousand feet up, just hanging on, finding other people who are connected to the ropes, and they give him a bag of chalk, and then he leaves it at the top of the mountain, because he passes them, and he's not using any ropes.
02:06:41.000But I still ended up doing it because we drove out there together, a group of people, and I realized on the drive that I was the only person that wasn't jumping out of the airplane.
02:07:04.000I had just done that movie, Charlie's Angels, okay?
02:07:07.000And there was a lot of parachuting in it, and the stunt coordinators from that movie were taking the cast out to jump out if they wanted to.
02:08:38.000And then the thing that was weird about it is then you pull the chute, or the guy on your back pulls the chute, and now you're hanging from ropes.
02:08:51.000But to me, the one time I've done it, talking about parachuting like I know about it, the one time I've done it 18 years ago, that's the scariest moment.
02:10:17.000I ended up being, you know, whenever you're going to get in a situation where you end up going out to a parachuting thing with a bunch of people unless, you know, you're in a relationship and the person you're with is going and you go with them because they're going and then all of a sudden you're there and you're going like,
02:11:54.000What about what Edward Snowden, I believe, I've researched this, but I heard he was saying that this is sort of an attempt to get us to get implanted with, you know, biological testing, have our phones set up more to follow us.
02:12:09.000Is this, you know, is there any sort of...
02:12:18.000Anytime there's an opening for people to take advantage of that opening, anytime there's a moment that happens where there's some scrambling, and maybe they can gather up more power, maybe they can gather up more surveillance tools, maybe they can...
02:12:34.000Make it easier to do things that they'd like to do that have nothing to do, like the Patriot Act.
02:12:39.000There's a lot of stuff for the Patriot Act that had nothing to do with terrorism.
02:12:43.000They just decided, let's add some stuff in.
02:12:50.000And as the population gets bigger and as time moves on, they slowly give in to this idea of controlling people more and more.
02:12:57.000So they're going to definitely use this.
02:13:00.000As a way to ensure that they have some sort of extended reach, whether it's some sort of a reach to make sure that you're vaccinated or some sort of a reach to make sure that your antibodies are clear,
02:13:16.000some sort of a reach to make sure that you're not drinking, are you?
02:13:19.000Because if you drink, you get your immune system shattered.
02:13:22.000If your immune system fucks up, what if you get sick and you pass it on to your friends?
02:13:26.000If you're drinking, you're being a bad citizen.
02:13:28.000Who the fuck knows what could happen once someone's tracking whether or not you're healthy?
02:14:12.000So say if there's a place you go, Tom Green, you go and they give you a vaccination once the vaccination becomes available.
02:14:18.000And you know that you now don't have to worry about getting this thing.
02:14:22.000So we can track all the people that have been vaccinated as long as you sign up for the app and all the people not be vaccinated, you see them.
02:16:38.000But it's almost like we're taking a step closer and closer towards the digital world with this.
02:16:44.000And that's I'm not a conspiracy theorist in the sense that I don't think that robots are out to get us.
02:16:50.000I don't think that the electronic world is looking to consume us.
02:16:54.000But I am concerned with some steps that we could take that make our life more digital to take away too much of what it means to be a person.
02:17:02.000Some of what it means to be a person is like fun.
02:17:06.000There's fun in the weirdness of the world.
02:17:08.000There's fun in the danger of the world.
02:17:10.000You take away all that shit with apps and alerts and like, I can't go down that street.
02:17:17.000There's a guy down that street that was arrested at one point in time.
02:17:29.000These unromantic, boring, bullshit, digital things that are locked into pleasure sources, things that pump them pleasure because they've taken the place, you know?
02:17:41.000If they could do that, if they could get to a point where you wear an implant, it just keeps your dopamine levels up at a very high, high note.
02:17:49.000You get augmented reality glasses where everybody's hot.
02:19:52.000The more you do it, the better you get at it.
02:19:54.000But because of your risk-taking, because you were the guy that was willing to set up this crazy setup in your house, and because I knew you, and I'm over your place, and I'm like, wow!
02:20:44.000And I would go stand on the roof of buildings in my hometown with a video camera and yell at people with a megaphone.
02:20:49.000Dude, Letterman had one of the best styles ever of hosting a talk show because he could talk to people that were talking to him about nonsense.
02:21:58.000It was the first time I ever saw somebody kind of goofing on the network, taking the fruit basket over to the security guard at GE, messing with them, getting in trouble.
02:22:10.000His boss was like, are you biting the hand that feeds you here?
02:22:13.000But the risk that he took to do that was real.
02:22:37.000And he got on Letterman and would go on Letterman with his jet black hair and like this sardonic wit and like sharp punch lines and he was the fucking man back then.
02:23:09.000He doesn't give a fuck if you have like a dune buggy you made out of a VW, or if you have some crazy souped-up Corvette, if you have some crazy NSX from 1994. He loves cars.
02:24:06.000He has this old school one with metal wheels and he had rubber put on it so he could take it on the road.
02:24:12.000Is he doing it to be funny though, like I'm on a tractor right now, or does he just think the tractor's cool?
02:24:16.000Is there an element – I'm just – I don't know.
02:24:18.000I don't know if we would know the answer to that.
02:24:20.000We would be a reductionist to either state one way or the other.
02:24:24.000Who could have been driving that thing?
02:24:25.000It's just got to be so much fun for him to be driving around in that.
02:24:28.000No, it really is legitimately fun for him.
02:24:30.000One of the things that I said when I was talking to him when he and I were driving around Was like, hey man, you're really you when you're doing this.
02:24:39.000It's so much better than doing The Tonight Show and having to pretend that you give a fuck about some teeny bopper's new, his new fucking top 40 hit.
02:24:48.000And you gotta go, wow, that's amazing!
02:24:51.000Like, you don't give a fuck about that.
02:25:21.000If somebody had figured out in 1970, whatever, that this is what Jay Leno is best at, oh my god!
02:25:28.000Who would have been the greatest car man, not that he isn't right now, but the greatest car celebrity that's ever lived in terms of a car guy on television?
02:28:38.000And this is probably not exactly a fully accurate statement, but for whatever reason at the time it seemed like there wasn't a lot of that kind of weird, like, breaking the whole mold of comedy comedy.
02:28:50.000There was stand-up, and then he was the one stand-up that was...
02:28:55.000Really surreal, really strange and silly.
02:28:58.000And so at the time, it really popped out for me as a goofy kid.
02:29:36.000I went up to the bar with my friend Phil.
02:29:39.000And we went up to him and I said, Mr. Williams, would it be okay if tomorrow we took you out for a submarine sandwich?
02:29:51.000And he's like, well, that sounds good to me.
02:29:53.000And the next day, Saturday, we went out in Ottawa, took him out for a submarine sandwich, and he was drinking his Coke like, thanks for the submarine sandwich there, fella!
02:30:38.000He was one of those initial things, though, in my mind, where I saw somebody saying, I'm gonna do something that nobody else is doing, and I'm gonna be.
02:31:26.000It's all in, like, can they figure out how to make their own unique weirdness come through and make jokes out of it?
02:31:36.000Some guys like Harlan figured it out perfectly where if you wrote it down It's like you want to steal Harlan Williams act you'd be fucked You would never be able to do it, right?
02:32:42.000What's one of the cool things about living in a place like L.A. is that there's a lot of people like you and Harlan and, you know, we can keep going, fill in the blanks, Joey Diaz and Duncan Trussell and all these fascinating people.
02:32:56.000Duncan Trussell, fellow testicular cancer survivor.
02:33:54.000He cut in front of me, and then he cut into the left lane, and he passed in the oncoming, and then he cut in front of the people in front of him, and I was like, what, buddy?
02:35:14.000I had it, and I didn't have it, and I had it again for the Comedy Store.
02:35:18.000I had it from 93 to 2007, then I didn't have it from 2007 to 2014, then I had it from 2014 to today, and I'm better off with it, especially the version of the Comedy Store that exists now.
02:35:33.000It's an amazing place right now, and I'm committed to keeping it amazing and doing whatever I can to get it back to financial health and whatever we can do to get everything rolling.
02:35:44.000I think if we had to get out of LA for some strange reason, as long as the Comedy Store exists for the comedians that are here, I'm good.
02:35:52.000I think there's a way to not be right here.
02:35:56.000I just think that right here is so crowded.
02:37:08.000It's interesting because it's like now – we've got the internet now.
02:37:12.000So it's sort of interesting that public access is different now, right?
02:37:16.000Because back then you had to kind of talk your way into getting in there.
02:37:21.000You wouldn't – you couldn't just get a show.
02:37:22.000So you had to kind of talk your way into getting in there.
02:37:25.000And then once you got in there, it was – nobody was watching.
02:37:27.000But if you did something weird enough or whatever, people would sort of hear about it.
02:37:31.000We used to send our tapes down to Manhattan Neighborhood Network in New York.
02:37:37.000And, you know, people would hear about it, but it was not like the internet, you know, now.
02:37:42.000It's almost hard to imagine why anybody would need to do that.
02:37:46.000When I was an open-miker in Boston, we did some cable access shows.
02:37:49.000Same thing, I think, as your public access TV thing in Canada.
02:37:52.000They had cable access shows, and I think there was some sort of a rule that if you had a cable channel, you had to leave a certain amount of hours open For people to just, like, regular people to just sign up and do things.
02:38:05.000So me and a few other comics, we put together these terrible sketches.
02:40:14.000So if it was one billion, that would be like one in eight people, which seems like a lot, but it also seems like a number that you would imagine them saying it would be.
02:40:22.000How many views do you think it would be a day?
02:43:19.000Like young kids, that's why you've got all these young kids who are like incredible musicians, because they go on YouTube and they see it, and they replicate it, and then they improve on it.
02:43:26.000Yeah, dude, it used to be hard to find a fucking drumming coach.
02:43:29.000They could tell you to drum like Travis Barker.
02:43:31.000Who the fuck is going to teach you how to do that?
02:45:14.000By creating your Tom Green show, you allowed people to think about streaming things from their house.
02:45:21.000I bet you were a part of a lot of people's desire to jump in and do something like YouTube.
02:45:27.000Because if you really stop and think about it, before you were doing that, before you were doing it from your house, or you were doing it from that public access station, how many people were doing that?
02:45:56.000My dad was in the military, but when he retired from the military after 26 years in the service as a tank commander, he continued working for the Department of Defense as a COBOL programmer.
02:46:08.000So he went and took a computer course, and he learned COBOL, and he would go off and he'd have the cards, and he'd show me these big computers, because Ottawa's the capital of Canada, so there's the government there, and there's these big computers.
02:46:20.000And I remember in the 80s, early 80s, they had this thing in Ottawa.
02:47:41.000So we started doing stand-up together when we were teenagers, and then he kind of had to quit when he was 17 because he got hired as a computer engineer for the National Research Council because he was a computer genius.
02:47:51.000So there was always this really early sort of computer sort of thing.
02:47:57.000So I've always loved looking at that technology and going, okay, well, what's going to happen?
02:48:02.000So now it's like, what's going to happen next?
02:48:36.000But if you had sunglasses, like aviators, you put on some aviators, and you have a whole new view of the world with navigation, with emails, with voice calls with people where they're translucent.
02:48:50.000You can see the people in front of you so you don't stumble into someone, but you still know that you're talking to your friend Bob.
02:48:54.000You see each other while you're laughing.
02:48:56.000You can split from your view to his view.
02:49:05.000My real concern is what I was saying about earlier, about if we have tracking on our phones to make sure that we're not COVID-19 positive and like that.
02:49:22.000People need to be conscious of their health and take care of their immune system and make sure you follow all the protocols and wash your hands and don't touch your face and all the things that everybody's been saying.
02:49:32.000But I don't really know if we want to give in to that level of scrutiny, that level of tracking, that level of connection.
02:50:22.000And I'm watching this, and I've probably watched it four or five times since then, but when I'm watching, I'm looking at it and I'm going, what are you doing?
02:51:02.000Listen, I think if we looked at ourselves in like 1980 and then looked at ourselves in 2020 and said, okay, how did this attachment to phones get so deeply ingrained in the culture without people figuring it out?
02:52:17.000I don't think there's a cabal of super geniuses that are trying to manipulate people in a way that get them to get addicted to likes.
02:52:25.000I think it's something that people realized along the way and they took advantage of it.
02:52:30.000And I also think that what really, what started it What started it was people trying to figure out how to get people to be more engaged.
02:52:39.000What's the best way to get them engaged?
02:52:41.000And the best way to get them engaged, it turns out, is to get them upset.
02:52:45.000And then they figured out how to get people upset is to fill your feet up with things that you engage with.
02:52:51.000But they're just trying to get you, if you were really interested in positive, intellectually enriching ideas, that's what would be in your feed all the time.
02:53:02.000So you're blaming them for you having this shitty desire to eat Snickers bars all day.
02:54:29.000It's a Bluetooth device that checks your pulse and vitals, basically.
02:54:34.000Because that is what it is, it is sending out a Bluetooth signal or a near-field signal to devices, probably the person's phone who owns it or is connected to it.
02:54:45.000But it's also sending out looking for other devices.
02:54:48.000And my phone also is looking out for Wi-Fi signals, for Bluetooth signals.
02:54:54.000There's got to be a connection there somewhere where it's tracked.
02:54:57.000What devices have been logged in or connected to this within the last 6 hours, 12 hours?
02:55:06.000So the possibility would be that this thing, I'm just talking about it from a moron, that this thing on your finger sends out a pulse or reaches out to find out what, like, maybe Google programs are open.
02:59:08.000Once they get some sort of control and power over you, it's hard to give that shit up.
02:59:12.000And when we're looking at these studies that show that it's not at least as far as the amount that it's been contained and hasn't spread through the population, but the amount of people that actually have been infected, how many of them actually died, that it's much smaller than they were fearing it would be.
02:59:28.000When are they going to let us be normal people again?
02:59:44.000Is it worse to die from this than to die from the flu or to die from all these other things?
02:59:49.000And you know what else is really interesting?
02:59:50.000I was reading this thing where there might be a balance...
02:59:55.000You know, a lot of people died from COVID, right?
02:59:58.000It's not to diminish the amount of people that died, but that because people are staying at home, less people have died from automobile accidents.
03:02:34.000Do you think Verizon would let you know?
03:02:36.000If 5G just started fucking people's heads up and they started running into walls, do you think Verizon would be like, hey guys, maybe we, uh...
03:02:52.000Well, you know, look, I've always asked myself, you know, going back to just talk about radio waves, microwaves.
03:03:00.000I mean, I've always wondered, do more people have cancer now?
03:03:03.000As a cancer survivor, I go, did I get cancer because I grew up in a world where there's radio waves and cell phones and all this stuff in there?
03:03:09.000Or are just people living longer and getting cancer?
03:05:51.000If you prevent it from scaring the shit out of you, then you're not paying attention to it.
03:05:55.000You'd have to block it out completely if it wasn't terrifying.
03:05:59.000Because if you're paying attention to it, it's going to be terrifying.
03:06:02.000If you're not blocking out completely, you look at the randomness of just the fact that we're in this planet with no roof, and we're hurling through the galaxy, and there's all these asteroids out there, and sometimes they don't see them because they're coming from behind the sun.
03:06:15.000They just fucking slam into us and kill everybody.
03:06:18.000Yeah, I spend a lot of time trying to decide what freaks me out more, the infinity of the universe or the infinity of being dead, you know?
03:06:28.000The infinity of the universe or the infinity of being dead?
03:06:30.000That goes forever, and once you're dead, well, that's forever too, right?
03:06:39.000The infinity of the universe if you live forever and you can breathe in space and you didn't need food and you were just floating forever.
03:06:49.000Go see what the fuck's going on out there.
03:06:50.000You're never gonna land, you're never gonna touch ground, you're just gonna float through forever for billions and billions of years without ever talking to anybody, but you're never gonna die.
03:07:14.000You know how bored you'd be after the first billion years and realize you have an infinite amount of billion years left where you're still gonna be alive, breathing air with no need for food, no friends.
03:07:24.000You know what you know now, but you've been transformed by the gods into this symbol of psychic torture.
03:09:40.000This movie's probably a time capsule, huh?
03:09:42.000And there's moments in that movie where when you're a kid and you're seeing that and there's no internet and you're seeing something that you've never even fathomed before.
03:11:53.000And when you don't have instant access to seeing anything you can imagine, then your mind has to use its creativity to come up with ideas and visualize it.
03:12:37.000The fact that we're young enough to enjoy all the technology now, you and I are young enough to enjoy it the same way young, but we also are old enough to have remembered as adults living life without it is kind of a luxury.
03:12:51.000And we're the only generation, we're the only age group that will ever experience that.
03:13:08.000But you were around what you experienced it.
03:13:10.000Yeah, it was probably, I would have been fifth grade, and I would go over to his house after school, and I was like, I remember, I remember, he was like, yeah.
03:15:48.000Like, there's one where, what is it, Deadwood Mansion, that's what it's called?
03:15:51.000You put, you have a haptic feedback vest on, and you have a rifle, and you have these goggles on, you put the headphones on, you have things that go around your wrists and things that go around your ankles, so it tracks your movement.
03:18:20.000You know, if you're in the game and you're kicking the door and some guy jumps on you and grabs your neck and you're like, bang, bang, bang!
03:18:25.000And then he drops to the ground and you're like, fuck, this is crazy!
03:19:05.000There's the one where you walk to the edge of a thing, you look down, you get vertigo, and you know you're in a thing, but your mind just seeing...
03:20:07.000How long does it take before that happens?
03:20:09.000And will it be gradual, or will it be one big leap?
03:20:11.000We don't see it coming, and we're all like those buffalo that the Native Americans used to push off the cliff, where one of them would go off the cliff, and then the other one would go, fuck, there's a cliff!
03:20:20.000But there's like a thousand buffalo behind you that don't know it's a cliff, so they just keep pushing.
03:21:48.000It was like a real thing because so many psychologists were talking to these people, so many psychiatrists were treating these patients that they just started calling it something.
03:21:55.000Like, how many guys are you getting every day that are sad?