The Joe Rogan Experience - May 13, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1473 - Tom Papa


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 4 minutes

Words per Minute

192.03366

Word Count

35,363

Sentence Count

4,423

Misogynist Sentences

109

Hate Speech Sentences

47


Summary

L.A. is ordering workers to stay home because of an outbreak of a new virus, and we talk about why it might not be so bad. Plus, what's up with the number of people getting sick in New York City? And why do they seem to be getting sick all together? Plus, we discuss whether or not it's a good thing that we're all getting sick together. Plus, the weirdest thing we've ever heard about a city that's as dense as New York, and it's not even close to being as sick as it is now. Thanks to our sponsor, Vaynermedia! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. We'd like to learn a little more about you, the listeners. Please take a few minutes to fill out this brief survey. We'll see if we can figure out who you'd like us to interview and what questions you have submitted. Thank you so much for all the support, it really means a lot to us. We really appreciate all the love, support, and support. Peace, Blessings, Cheers! Cheers, Caitlyn, Sarah, Jamie, Matt, and Sarah Sarah and Jamie - The Cheers. Sarah - Caitlyn - Matt - Jamie - - Jon - John - Jordan - Michael - Evan - Mark - Adam - Tim - Jack - Kevin - Kacchow - Mike - Ben - Will - James - Matthew - Chris - Dan - Joe - Sam - Kyle - Christian - Andrew - Patrick - Jake - Rachel - David - Tyler - Alex - Emily - Is it possible that it's going to be a good one? Will it be better than New York? Can it be worse than Los Angeles? - Will it get better than Chicago, New York - Is it better than San Francisco, or Los Angeles, or Boston, or Chicago, or Seattle, or New Jersey, or Toronto, or Vancouver, or Brooklyn, or Baltimore, or San Fransisco, or Miami, or Dallas, or Detroit, or Portland, or Las Vegas, or Philadelphia, or anything else? and much more? Thanks for listening to this episode? ?


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Okay.
00:00:02.000 So, what were you just saying, Jamie?
00:00:05.000 We have LA's stay-at-home order will likely remain in place for the next three months unless there is a, quote, dramatic change to the virus and tools at hand, officials say.
00:00:16.000 How are people supposed to feed themselves?
00:00:19.000 Like, really?
00:00:20.000 Realistically?
00:00:21.000 How do they expect this to work?
00:00:23.000 You go out to work, and then you skitter back home.
00:00:27.000 That's not what they're saying.
00:00:29.000 That's not what stay at home means.
00:00:31.000 Stay at home means you don't go to work.
00:00:33.000 Yeah, but at the same time, they're opening up businesses.
00:00:36.000 They're opening up very few businesses, and you have to get curbside for retail.
00:00:40.000 I heard our governor in the state of California say that 70% of businesses are open now.
00:00:48.000 Well, if that's the case, even if that was the case, let's say 30% of people are out of work.
00:00:53.000 That's catastrophic.
00:00:55.000 Yeah, it's a lot.
00:00:56.000 And I don't think it's true.
00:00:57.000 I don't think 70% of the places are open.
00:01:00.000 That's what he said, 70% of businesses.
00:01:02.000 Even if they're open, they're not open at 100% capacity.
00:01:05.000 Or they're probably working from home, like offices.
00:01:07.000 He's probably counting offices.
00:01:09.000 And those people are still working and getting paid, but they're doing it from home.
00:01:13.000 So this is just L.A.? LA County.
00:01:16.000 So that means like Comedy Store has no chance.
00:01:20.000 Yeah, I believe it's for the county.
00:01:22.000 Yeah, so it's the biggest county.
00:01:24.000 This is the same fuck-up who thought it would be a good idea to have people rat on people for money.
00:01:29.000 Technically, this was not coming from the mayor.
00:01:31.000 This is coming from a health...
00:01:32.000 someone in the health department talking at a supervisor meeting or something.
00:01:36.000 So it was a suggestion.
00:01:37.000 It wasn't a...
00:01:38.000 Not an official order, but it's coming, yeah.
00:01:41.000 Right.
00:01:41.000 So it's not an official order.
00:01:42.000 Not an official order, but LA is the densest county in America.
00:01:49.000 How about that?
00:01:50.000 Is it really?
00:01:51.000 Yeah.
00:01:51.000 More than New York?
00:01:52.000 Yeah.
00:01:53.000 As a county.
00:01:55.000 Hmm.
00:01:56.000 That seems odd, doesn't it?
00:01:58.000 It does seem odd.
00:01:59.000 Seems like a lot of people.
00:02:01.000 New York City's denser.
00:02:03.000 Yeah.
00:02:04.000 New York City's...
00:02:05.000 The thing about New York City that makes it great is that everybody sort of mingles together.
00:02:10.000 Everybody gets on the subway together.
00:02:12.000 Everybody walks together on the streets.
00:02:13.000 Yeah.
00:02:14.000 That's also the reason why everybody's getting sick together.
00:02:17.000 Yeah, but I saw an interesting thing, that the highest, this guy wrote an editorial about the reasons for New York, and he lives in New York, and he said Staten Island had the highest number.
00:02:29.000 This was written before, I think Brooklyn has now edged it, but at the time, that Staten Island was the highest and it was the least densely populated, and Manhattan, which is the most densely populated, had the fewer number of cases.
00:02:42.000 Really?
00:02:43.000 Mm-hmm.
00:02:44.000 Well, I wonder if that is similar to what they're finding with people that work together, or in prisons in particular.
00:02:52.000 They're finding that there was this one prison they did a study on, 98% of the people were asymptomatic.
00:02:58.000 Really?
00:02:58.000 Yeah.
00:02:59.000 98%?
00:03:00.000 Yeah, 98%.
00:03:01.000 Jeez.
00:03:02.000 It's nuts.
00:03:03.000 That's weird.
00:03:05.000 So I was bringing it up with a friend of mine, and I was like, do you think this is because my friend Kyle Kalinske, and he was like, I think it's because their immune systems are strong, because they're just interacting with each other constantly.
00:03:16.000 And I was like, oh, that kind of makes sense, because I was thinking, if you're in prison, you're probably stressed out, and you're getting bad food.
00:03:22.000 Yeah, and horrible sleep.
00:03:24.000 And yet your immune system's strong.
00:03:26.000 Right.
00:03:26.000 Because you're just being bombarded all the time?
00:03:29.000 Yeah.
00:03:29.000 You're being bombarded all the time by stinky, dirty people.
00:03:32.000 Where if you live in an isolated, fancy place with purified air and all this...
00:03:40.000 You're in a wonderful community in Brentwood.
00:03:42.000 You don't see your neighbors ever.
00:03:44.000 You don't go anywhere.
00:03:45.000 You're very fragile.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, you go to the store, you come home, and now our immune systems are, I would imagine, this is just pure speculation, but I would imagine that your immune system is like all the other systems of your body, that when it gets tested, it gets stronger, right?
00:04:00.000 Yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:04:02.000 So your immune system right now is being put into a state of atrophy, because it's not being exposed to anything new.
00:04:08.000 It's in a lounge chair.
00:04:10.000 It's just chilling.
00:04:12.000 It's got sunglasses on.
00:04:14.000 Hasn't worked in years.
00:04:17.000 It's got soft legs that cramp up when it goes upstairs.
00:04:22.000 And all of a sudden, it gets called to go to work, and it's just like, dude, what?
00:04:26.000 Wouldn't you imagine that's the case?
00:04:29.000 It seems like it.
00:04:31.000 Yeah, I can imagine we're setting ourselves up to get really sick if something comes down the pipe.
00:04:37.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:04:38.000 Well, that was what was very strange in the beginning of all this, when people were saying that people just spout out, you can't do anything for your immune system.
00:04:45.000 You can't make it stronger.
00:04:47.000 That's nonsense.
00:04:48.000 And it was like...
00:04:49.000 Who was saying that?
00:04:50.000 Just online.
00:04:51.000 I did a thing with people spouting off.
00:04:56.000 It's crazy because online, it's written.
00:04:59.000 And when you're seeing things written, you're like, wow, this must make sense.
00:05:02.000 It's written.
00:05:04.000 It's got 150,000 likes.
00:05:06.000 This has got to be real.
00:05:09.000 It's just Bob said it.
00:05:10.000 It's just a matter of a guy walking down the street.
00:05:12.000 It's the same thing.
00:05:14.000 I don't understand how we could take three more months off.
00:05:17.000 I really don't.
00:05:19.000 Well, it depends what they mean.
00:05:21.000 When you hear the governor talk, it's...
00:05:24.000 He's moving it along and he's in these phases and pushing it through.
00:05:30.000 I don't think it's going to be, as I'm stammering at the realization of it, I don't think it's going to be like what it was in April, in May.
00:05:41.000 Why not?
00:05:42.000 In July.
00:05:43.000 Because I... Do you want to go outside?
00:05:47.000 I think so, too.
00:05:47.000 L.A. County beaches reopen May 13th.
00:05:52.000 Yes, but you can't hang out on your lounge.
00:05:55.000 You can't hang out on your towel.
00:05:56.000 You've got to go in.
00:05:57.000 Make that larger, please.
00:05:58.000 Go back to where it was.
00:05:59.000 You can do water sports.
00:06:01.000 No lying or sitting on the sand.
00:06:03.000 Right.
00:06:04.000 Canopies, coolers, or picnicking.
00:06:05.000 Right.
00:06:06.000 You can be active.
00:06:08.000 You can go swim.
00:06:08.000 Parking lots are closed.
00:06:10.000 So where do they expect you to park?
00:06:12.000 They don't want you to go.
00:06:14.000 Individual family activities and exercise only.
00:06:17.000 Yeah, so you can go down, you can swim, you can ride the waves, and then get out of the ocean and get back in your car.
00:06:22.000 Look at this, no picnicking.
00:06:24.000 You can't picnic.
00:06:25.000 No biking.
00:06:26.000 No biking.
00:06:27.000 Now why can't you bike?
00:06:29.000 I have to say...
00:06:30.000 No volleyball?
00:06:31.000 You see that round circle with the slash through it with the giant canopies?
00:06:35.000 Those should be banned all year.
00:06:37.000 Have you ever been next to one of those on the beach?
00:06:39.000 Oh, those are disgusting.
00:06:40.000 Oh my god.
00:06:41.000 Why are you allowed to set up camp?
00:06:43.000 Building a house.
00:06:44.000 Yeah, you're basically saying this is my area of the sand.
00:06:47.000 Yeah.
00:06:48.000 Blocking everyone's view.
00:06:49.000 Yeah, you can get a fucking towel.
00:06:51.000 That's what you can get.
00:06:52.000 You get a towel and that's it.
00:06:53.000 That's how it's always been.
00:06:54.000 I know.
00:06:54.000 These people come down there, they've got...
00:06:57.000 Coolers and tables higher than this.
00:06:59.000 You see they have fences now?
00:07:00.000 People are setting up beach fences?
00:07:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're selling beach fences.
00:07:04.000 You set it up, you stick it in the sand, and you mark off your area.
00:07:07.000 Oh my god.
00:07:08.000 Social distancing!
00:07:10.000 We're creating dorks.
00:07:12.000 This is all before social distancing.
00:07:13.000 These are just people making camps there and bringing 25 people.
00:07:17.000 Ugh, I hate it.
00:07:18.000 So reopens tomorrow is what they're saying.
00:07:21.000 Yeah, baby.
00:07:22.000 Well, that's good.
00:07:23.000 That's a start.
00:07:25.000 I think we need to move in the other direction.
00:07:27.000 I think we need to quarantine people that are at risk.
00:07:29.000 That's what I think, really.
00:07:31.000 And then let people make their own choices.
00:07:34.000 The idea that these hospitals are going to be overwhelmed is not true.
00:07:39.000 It's not correct.
00:07:40.000 Luckily, we're very fortunate.
00:07:43.000 And the idea that we're going to run out of ventilators, that's not true either.
00:07:45.000 Right.
00:07:46.000 And then also, that doctor that worked with Michael Yeo was telling you this before we started.
00:07:51.000 The doctor said that if he put him on a ventilator, he would die.
00:07:55.000 Because his body would stop trying to breathe, and it would just sort of give up.
00:07:59.000 And this is what Michael Yeo's doctor told him, and he survived.
00:08:04.000 And then we're finding out that a lot of people they put on ventilators don't make it.
00:08:08.000 And I wonder if what he's saying applies to those people.
00:08:12.000 Right.
00:08:13.000 Was he a special case of why they didn't want him on the ventilator?
00:08:16.000 No, his doctor's just a wise guy.
00:08:17.000 He's just smart and just figured it out.
00:08:20.000 Wow.
00:08:21.000 I mean, look...
00:08:22.000 I mean, it's a weird thing to think, you know, what if we hadn't done all of these measures?
00:08:27.000 Would the hospitals have...
00:08:27.000 I mean, because the hospitals for a beat were...
00:08:30.000 It's crazy.
00:08:31.000 Depends on where you are.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, like if you weren't in Queens, it was insane.
00:08:35.000 Yeah, this place is where it's horrible.
00:08:36.000 Yeah.
00:08:37.000 So like if we hadn't done these things, what would have the result have been?
00:08:40.000 It's a good question.
00:08:41.000 You know, I mean, would we have achieved herd immunity?
00:08:46.000 Or would we have achieved it quicker?
00:08:48.000 Because herd immunity is like 60% of the people have been infected and then the virus sort of dies off.
00:08:54.000 Right.
00:08:55.000 You know, when you look at the Spanish flu, when you look at the history of that, and the places that did something, Fared much better than the places that didn't.
00:09:06.000 The end result was, you know, all these people died.
00:09:09.000 It goes through the same amount of time, but just you have a lot more fatalities, you know?
00:09:14.000 And it's always been this kind of calculation, like, you know, people are doing the math.
00:09:19.000 I feel like people are doing the math and they're saying, okay, X amount will die, but we've got to get back to work and get these people to work.
00:09:27.000 And they're trying to figure out that equation.
00:09:29.000 Is the suffering of the people that are probably going to survive even if they get it?
00:09:33.000 Is that suffering going to be greater than the suffering for families who lose people, right?
00:09:39.000 So that's that balancing act.
00:09:40.000 And you can see where people are coming out on it.
00:09:44.000 Certain places are like, no, it's just time to go.
00:09:46.000 And yeah, there'll be casualties, but we'll deal.
00:09:49.000 And other people are saying, save lives at all costs.
00:09:52.000 Well, if we say save lives at all costs, we should all stop driving.
00:09:57.000 I don't want to do that, too.
00:09:59.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:10:00.000 Yeah, I know what you're saying.
00:10:01.000 Yeah, right.
00:10:01.000 There's things that are risk.
00:10:03.000 This is one of those things that's a uniquely human problem because there's no real answer for it.
00:10:08.000 Because most human problems are like, whoa, it's...
00:10:11.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:10:14.000 No, right.
00:10:15.000 You don't...
00:10:15.000 You kind of...
00:10:17.000 We're all isolated on this one thing.
00:10:19.000 And then you stop thinking, well, we live at risk all day long.
00:10:24.000 Well, not only do we live at risk all day long, but we make decisions that could put ourselves at risk and we're allowed to make those decisions.
00:10:34.000 But with this, you're not allowed to make those decisions.
00:10:36.000 And the idea is, well, because you put others at risk.
00:10:39.000 Okay.
00:10:40.000 But who and why and when do we decide?
00:10:45.000 How long can we go on with this?
00:10:47.000 If we don't have any new tools in July, what is going to be the difference between July and now?
00:10:51.000 Well, that's what Fauci is saying about the fall.
00:10:54.000 He's saying that there's going to be a resurgence of it in the fall.
00:10:59.000 You're going to have more because it's the flu season.
00:11:02.000 And you need to be prepared with testing and stuff to deal with this in the right way or else you're back to what we were dealing with in April and May.
00:11:11.000 And that you've got to learn from it and be prepared.
00:11:14.000 It's the testing, the testing, the testing.
00:11:16.000 Yeah, it just seems Elon just opened up his factory in California, the Tesla factory, and said, come arrest me.
00:11:24.000 Right.
00:11:25.000 Basically saying what you're doing is a violation of civil liberties.
00:11:29.000 You're telling people that they're not allowed to go to work and that this has become a fascist state.
00:11:35.000 Mm-hmm.
00:11:36.000 See how that goes.
00:11:38.000 Yeah, I kind of feel like they know that they'll save lives this way.
00:11:43.000 But I mean, look, if you're the governor, right?
00:11:46.000 What do you do?
00:11:47.000 What do you do?
00:11:48.000 I mean, you want people to be safe, but you also are looking at the books every day and realizing that your state is in need of a trillion dollars to survive.
00:11:59.000 I mean, if that's it.
00:12:02.000 It might be a lot more than that.
00:12:04.000 That's just based on what we know is active and the businesses that are open right now.
00:12:10.000 A friend of mine was saying, how many people are unemployed right now and they don't even know it?
00:12:14.000 Their business is just never going to make it.
00:12:16.000 And then also there's going to be less people with money, so there's going to be less spending, so these economies are going to need some sort of a resurgence.
00:12:21.000 So if you're the governor, you're not out there just to control people and take away their civil liberties because you're screwing yourself on the other end with people being broke and the economy falling apart.
00:12:32.000 So you're in this spot.
00:12:35.000 I do not envy it.
00:12:36.000 It's also when you start telling people what to do, it's very difficult to stop.
00:12:41.000 So once you have the ability to tell people what to do, it's very difficult to just turn that off and go, go ahead, go back to normal, do whatever you want to do now.
00:12:47.000 Right, right.
00:12:48.000 Which is what we used to do just four months ago, right?
00:12:50.000 Do whatever you want to do.
00:12:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:52.000 But now all of a sudden, do you see that goofy fucking list that they put out of all the stuff you can and can't do?
00:12:57.000 No.
00:12:58.000 It's even goofier than the list that we saw about the beaches.
00:13:01.000 It's fucking preposterous.
00:13:03.000 It's a really long list that California put out of things you're allowed to do outside.
00:13:08.000 You can meditate.
00:13:09.000 You can do soft martial arts.
00:13:12.000 You can watch the sunrise or the sunset.
00:13:14.000 I mean, it's...
00:13:14.000 It's so asinine.
00:13:18.000 You're getting people, in this case, you're getting people that have no business telling people what to do.
00:13:24.000 And all of a sudden they've been assigned this ability to tell people what they're allowed to do and not to do.
00:13:30.000 And so they make this gigantic stupid fucking list.
00:13:33.000 And it's really offensive.
00:13:35.000 It is a weird thing.
00:13:36.000 It's fucking dumb.
00:13:37.000 Dan Crenshaw put something up on his Instagram, see if you can find it, where he shows what you can and can't do in this one particular list and how preposterous it is.
00:13:47.000 There's a bunch of lists that different states are putting up and different states have different approaches.
00:13:52.000 One thing that I do like about the fact that we are the United States of America is that different states do have different approaches and we get to watch how that experiment plays out.
00:14:00.000 It is an experiment, isn't it?
00:14:02.000 I'm just like, so how's Georgia?
00:14:04.000 Every day I sit down and I'm like, what's going on down there?
00:14:07.000 Permitted.
00:14:08.000 Walking, running, exercising, surfing, fishing, no chairs.
00:14:14.000 Prohibited.
00:14:15.000 Sunbathing, sitting in chairs.
00:14:17.000 Group sports, groups of people, swimming.
00:14:20.000 And here's what he says, for your daily dose of things that are stupid, here you go.
00:14:23.000 How many geniuses sat around and deliberated over these particulars?
00:14:27.000 Okay, they can fish, but we don't want them getting any sun while they fish, and no chairs, because we are saving lives!
00:14:34.000 High fives all around.
00:14:38.000 He's so right.
00:14:39.000 I guess this is New Jersey.
00:14:42.000 OCNJ, that's New Jersey, right?
00:14:45.000 Yeah, Ocean County, New Jersey.
00:14:48.000 Fuck off.
00:14:49.000 Fuck off with that group.
00:14:51.000 So what do you think?
00:14:52.000 At this point, let's just let it rip?
00:14:54.000 I don't think it'll let it rip.
00:14:55.000 I think education is imperative.
00:14:58.000 I think, first of all...
00:15:00.000 There has to be some education on how to strengthen your immune system.
00:15:04.000 There are experts that understand.
00:15:07.000 I mean, I'm having Dr. Rhonda Patrick on tomorrow to talk about this.
00:15:10.000 I think it's very important to talk about supplementation, to talk about hermetic effects of heat shock proteins, cold shock proteins, what we can do as far as mitigating the stresses that you get from not having enough sleep, meditation, all sorts of different things that we need to teach people.
00:15:28.000 Yeah.
00:15:29.000 How to strengthen your immune system.
00:15:30.000 Okay.
00:15:31.000 How to keep your body healthy.
00:15:32.000 I'm with you 100%.
00:15:33.000 I'm doing all that stuff, learning about it as I go through life and I meditate, I take vitamins, I exercise, all that.
00:15:41.000 Eat a lot of bread.
00:15:41.000 Eat a lot of bread.
00:15:42.000 Oh, this bread is so much better.
00:15:44.000 I bet it's good.
00:15:45.000 Better than the last one?
00:15:46.000 It might be the best ones I've ever made.
00:15:47.000 How is it possible?
00:15:48.000 I swear to God.
00:15:48.000 The last one was perfection.
00:15:49.000 I'm home.
00:15:50.000 I just keep getting better.
00:15:51.000 How do you get better at bread?
00:15:53.000 You get better.
00:15:54.000 There's so many things that go into it every day.
00:15:56.000 I don't understand how you get better at bread.
00:15:57.000 I'm telling you.
00:15:58.000 Wait till you see it.
00:15:59.000 I'm glad you're around, man.
00:16:01.000 I'm eating bread right now.
00:16:04.000 You're agreeing, but.
00:16:06.000 All that stuff is great, but that list you just said about heat proteins that's in it, that is so much more complicated than no chairs at the beach, dummy.
00:16:16.000 Yes, it is.
00:16:17.000 Honestly, when you talk to people just out there shopping, doing stuff, going to the beach, the guy who's setting up his tent with his poles and he's got his thing, that guy's not going to know shit about...
00:16:29.000 I got my beach fence.
00:16:30.000 Don't spit in my area.
00:16:32.000 He's not going to know anything about his immune system or any of the protein.
00:16:35.000 But don't...
00:16:35.000 You can, with the herd...
00:16:37.000 You've got to tell them, no dummy, fish no chair.
00:16:45.000 Why can't you fucking sit down and fish?
00:16:48.000 I mean...
00:16:48.000 That's so crazy.
00:16:49.000 Like, when you cast out to the surf and you have bait, you sit down.
00:16:53.000 You put your fucking pole in a pole holder so it's standing there, and you sit back and you watch your line.
00:17:00.000 Because there's going to be some jackass who's going to...
00:17:03.000 They're going to come up and say, Sir, they said no chairs.
00:17:05.000 I got my pole.
00:17:06.000 I'm fishing.
00:17:07.000 We're all fishing, right, honey?
00:17:08.000 We all got a pole.
00:17:10.000 Fishing, but no chairs.
00:17:12.000 Chairs are dangerous.
00:17:14.000 If you stay put, it could come get you.
00:17:18.000 It's preposterous.
00:17:19.000 It is preposterous.
00:17:20.000 But the other part of the United States of America, and then we all get to make our own rules and see this experiment, is like...
00:17:25.000 The information flow is so confusing.
00:17:28.000 It's been so...
00:17:29.000 I mean, from the first time we heard about it in January, there's this thing.
00:17:34.000 I have been looking at my phone every day going, is that true?
00:17:38.000 Is this right?
00:17:39.000 Is this true?
00:17:41.000 Wait.
00:17:41.000 I read it on Twitter.
00:17:42.000 No masks.
00:17:42.000 Now a mask.
00:17:43.000 Now not a mask.
00:17:44.000 You know what I mean?
00:17:45.000 Even Fauci.
00:17:46.000 I posted something from 60 Minutes yesterday.
00:17:49.000 I read that.
00:17:50.000 I saw that.
00:17:51.000 Fauci was saying you don't need to wear a mask.
00:17:52.000 This was like two months ago.
00:17:53.000 That was early, right?
00:17:54.000 That was early.
00:17:55.000 March is not that early, man.
00:17:57.000 I know, but that's when they were saying no masks because they didn't have masks.
00:18:00.000 Is that why?
00:18:01.000 I think so.
00:18:02.000 Well, maybe.
00:18:03.000 But he was saying specifically you don't need a mask.
00:18:07.000 But look, there's people out there wearing masks while they're driving in their cars.
00:18:10.000 That's why I put it up.
00:18:11.000 But I see these fucking dorks.
00:18:13.000 I'm like, come on, man.
00:18:14.000 Who's in your car blowing germs in your face?
00:18:16.000 I know, by yourself.
00:18:18.000 And by the way, those things are not going to keep the air from coming in your mouth.
00:18:21.000 No.
00:18:21.000 And it's in the air.
00:18:22.000 If it's in the air, it's going to get in your mouth.
00:18:23.000 It's going to keep you from spitting it out, maybe, and getting it on somebody.
00:18:27.000 Maybe it'll stem the flow a little bit.
00:18:29.000 And yeah, if you're out in public, particularly if you're going around a lot of people and you think you might have something, wear a mask.
00:18:35.000 I'm in the supermarket wearing my mask, wearing this.
00:18:38.000 Just pull this up on my thing.
00:18:40.000 You're a bandit.
00:18:40.000 I go with the bandit.
00:18:41.000 All of a sudden, everyone's a bandit.
00:18:42.000 Everyone's a bandit.
00:18:43.000 Everyone's robbing a bank.
00:18:44.000 I can't wait for the first time someone robs something and they've all got their mask on.
00:18:48.000 I'm sure it's already happened.
00:18:49.000 Absolutely.
00:18:50.000 I'm in there with this stupid ass mask.
00:18:53.000 It's hot.
00:18:54.000 It fogs up my glasses.
00:18:56.000 I'm itchy.
00:18:56.000 My eyes are running.
00:18:58.000 I'm like, I'm trying not to touch my face with all this stuff.
00:19:01.000 This is not helping me.
00:19:02.000 No.
00:19:03.000 Yeah.
00:19:03.000 Well, that was the thing Fauci said in the video that when you wear a mask, people start messing with their face.
00:19:08.000 Yes!
00:19:09.000 Yeah.
00:19:09.000 Now I'm rubbing my eyeballs.
00:19:11.000 I think we need to concentrate on people getting their immune system stronger.
00:19:15.000 I think the government has the time to put up these fucking stupid lists of not, don't use a chair, put up a list of how important it is to take vitamin C, supplement your diet with vitamin C, supplement your diet with vitamin D. Elderberry.
00:19:30.000 Yeah, take zinc.
00:19:31.000 Take all sorts of things that have proven to be very good for your immune system.
00:19:35.000 I know.
00:19:35.000 Why wouldn't you do it?
00:19:36.000 Why wouldn't you do it?
00:19:37.000 Anger.
00:19:37.000 Anger.
00:19:38.000 Frustration.
00:19:39.000 Instead, you could just put it off till July!
00:19:42.000 And then it's gonna magically be better!
00:19:45.000 It's not gonna be better in July.
00:19:47.000 It's still gonna exist.
00:19:49.000 The only thing that's going to be different is going to be hot as fuck out.
00:19:52.000 Maybe that's better.
00:19:54.000 Maybe the virus can't survive when it's hot as fuck out and when it untouched things.
00:19:58.000 It'll go down, but then it's going to get cold.
00:20:00.000 And that's what happened in 1918, right?
00:20:02.000 1919. The fall spike was much worse than the spring spike.
00:20:09.000 Is that what they said?
00:20:10.000 Yeah, it came back and the numbers were much higher.
00:20:12.000 And this is what I keep trying to figure out.
00:20:15.000 I'm reading all about the history of that, and it was a two-year thing before it just went through the population and eventually died out.
00:20:23.000 And I keep thinking, are we going to be different?
00:20:25.000 Are we more advanced?
00:20:26.000 Are we going to be able to change that story in modern day?
00:20:30.000 Well, first of all, it's a different disease.
00:20:31.000 It's a very different disease.
00:20:32.000 This is not the Spanish flu.
00:20:34.000 The Spanish flu was way worse.
00:20:35.000 Right.
00:20:36.000 It was way worse.
00:20:37.000 It was killing everybody.
00:20:38.000 Particularly, it attacked young people and healthy people very quickly.
00:20:41.000 You want to kill Cliff?
00:20:42.000 Have some CBD. Very good for you.
00:20:45.000 Doesn't even get you high.
00:20:46.000 Nice.
00:20:47.000 Very good.
00:20:47.000 It's a mango flavor.
00:20:48.000 It's delicious.
00:20:51.000 Yeah, this is a different disease, and it's also a disease where a significant number of people, in fact, more people than not, are asymptomatic.
00:20:57.000 It's good, right?
00:20:58.000 Yeah.
00:20:59.000 25 milligrams of CBD. I'm tasting childhood.
00:21:02.000 That's a thing of CBD. Are you taking CBD at all?
00:21:04.000 Mm-mm.
00:21:05.000 You need to.
00:21:06.000 Do I? Yeah, it's so good for inflammation, man.
00:21:08.000 Just for everything.
00:21:09.000 Oh, yeah?
00:21:09.000 It alleviates anxiety.
00:21:11.000 A lot of anxiety comes from like, ah, like your body's got inflammation.
00:21:14.000 For whatever reason, CBD seems to alleviate anxiety in a significant amount of people.
00:21:19.000 With THC or without?
00:21:20.000 Without.
00:21:20.000 You don't need it.
00:21:21.000 You don't need THC. I like with.
00:21:23.000 I like both.
00:21:25.000 The benefits will be the same with or without.
00:21:27.000 Yeah, sure.
00:21:29.000 It's great stuff.
00:21:30.000 That's really good.
00:21:30.000 It's tasty.
00:21:31.000 Yeah.
00:21:32.000 That's a small amount of CBD. That's 25 milligrams.
00:21:35.000 But I'm addicted to these things.
00:21:37.000 I drink them all the time.
00:21:38.000 Alright, I'm on it.
00:21:39.000 I also take CBD. I use...
00:21:42.000 I drop.
00:21:42.000 I had those for a while.
00:21:43.000 CBD, MD. I get that stuff.
00:21:45.000 And I put the tincture.
00:21:47.000 Yeah.
00:21:48.000 They help me sleep.
00:21:49.000 Oh, it's great.
00:21:49.000 It's really good for your body, too.
00:21:51.000 It's just great for people with arthritis and stiff joints and things along those lines, you know?
00:21:56.000 So that's what I wanted.
00:21:58.000 That's what I want to get people into.
00:22:00.000 Get people healthier.
00:22:01.000 Recognizing, like, hey, here's a time where you can understand that it's important to have a healthy body, and this is why.
00:22:07.000 Because, you know, you look at who this is hitting, the people that are dying.
00:22:11.000 We went over it yesterday.
00:22:14.000 Significant increase in likelihood of death when you're older.
00:22:18.000 Older or obese or diabetic?
00:22:20.000 Obese is huge.
00:22:21.000 Yeah.
00:22:21.000 In New York, that's the number one thing.
00:22:23.000 Oh, is it really?
00:22:24.000 Yeah.
00:22:24.000 They were saying the number one thing that led to mortality.
00:22:27.000 Wow.
00:22:28.000 Wow.
00:22:28.000 Yeah.
00:22:29.000 Yeah, you see, like, I know.
00:22:30.000 Imagine being fat as fuck and you're like, God damn, I wish I had a little warning.
00:22:35.000 I'd like to get healthy, but it's all of a sudden.
00:22:37.000 I know.
00:22:38.000 Out of nowhere?
00:22:39.000 Yeah.
00:22:40.000 Out of nowhere I can kill you.
00:22:41.000 Before, it just was tough going upstairs.
00:22:42.000 Yeah.
00:22:43.000 I just had to buy bigger pants.
00:22:45.000 I just felt shitty about myself when I looked in the mirror.
00:22:48.000 Yeah, I just avoided mirrors.
00:22:49.000 Now my life is being threatened.
00:22:52.000 Yeah, literally.
00:22:53.000 Yeah, literally.
00:22:53.000 People are dying.
00:22:54.000 I know.
00:22:55.000 You gotta be strong.
00:22:57.000 Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's terrible for the people that lost people.
00:23:02.000 It's terrible for people who die.
00:23:03.000 I'm with you on all this stuff, but I just do not think this is the way to handle it.
00:23:07.000 I think quarantining the people that are at risk is a far better option, far smarter option.
00:23:13.000 Yeah.
00:23:13.000 You know, better testing.
00:23:15.000 If you have older people in your family, they stay in their place.
00:23:18.000 You don't go see them until we get, you know, the vaccine or get through it.
00:23:24.000 I mean, there aren't numbers.
00:23:26.000 I mean, if we're just going by the science, you're going by the hard numbers.
00:23:31.000 The majority of the workforce could probably go out and work.
00:23:34.000 The majority.
00:23:35.000 The vast majority, yeah.
00:23:36.000 And there should be some sort of a waiver for people who can't or don't want to or have anxiety about it.
00:23:42.000 Yeah, okay.
00:23:44.000 But I think most people want to go back to work.
00:23:46.000 I know.
00:23:47.000 I got an offer to go do shows in a club in a couple weeks.
00:23:51.000 Addison Improv's opened back up.
00:23:53.000 Apparently they're opening back up this weekend.
00:23:55.000 Texas doesn't give a fuck.
00:23:57.000 I love it.
00:23:58.000 Would you perform?
00:23:59.000 Would you go to a club?
00:24:00.000 I would book it.
00:24:01.000 Yeah.
00:24:01.000 I want to do it.
00:24:02.000 I don't know what I'm going to do, man.
00:24:03.000 I mean, if July is legit, if that's really when we go back, that's too many months.
00:24:08.000 That's a lot of months.
00:24:09.000 Too many months to not do stand-up.
00:24:10.000 I know.
00:24:11.000 I start feeling a little weird.
00:24:13.000 Well, also, your stand-up's gonna suck, okay?
00:24:15.000 We're talking about how your cardiovascular system goes down.
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:19.000 How about your stand-up system?
00:24:20.000 I know.
00:24:21.000 We'll get that back quick, though.
00:24:22.000 We will.
00:24:23.000 Yeah, if you get there on Wednesday, by Friday, you'll have your system back.
00:24:26.000 Yeah, you'll be good.
00:24:27.000 You'll be good to go.
00:24:28.000 Your voice will be sore.
00:24:30.000 My God, my throat is out of breath.
00:24:32.000 You won't be thinking right.
00:24:34.000 Yeah, your throat will be out of shape.
00:24:37.000 It's really true.
00:24:38.000 It is true.
00:24:39.000 I know.
00:24:40.000 I know.
00:24:41.000 But it looks like if you want, there's going to be clubs, but you'll have to fly to them.
00:24:45.000 You've got to go to Texas.
00:24:45.000 You've got to go to Addison.
00:24:47.000 Yeah.
00:24:47.000 Yeah.
00:24:48.000 I heard there's some other clubs around the country that are going to start opening up as well.
00:24:52.000 How was the thing on the weekend?
00:24:55.000 Your thing.
00:24:55.000 Oh, the UFC? Yeah.
00:24:56.000 It was interesting.
00:24:57.000 Yeah?
00:24:57.000 Very weird.
00:24:58.000 Was it weird?
00:24:58.000 Very weird.
00:24:59.000 Huge arena, no one in it.
00:25:00.000 No one in it.
00:25:01.000 No one in it.
00:25:01.000 15,000 seat arena, maybe 10 people in the audience.
00:25:05.000 Wow.
00:25:06.000 Yeah, and it was all people that worked for the UFC. Wow.
00:25:08.000 Yeah, like us, the three commentators, sound people, a few other folks.
00:25:13.000 Like rehearsal.
00:25:13.000 Judges.
00:25:14.000 I guess more than 10 people because there was the judges and then the doctors and state officials, medical officials and athletic commission people.
00:25:23.000 Okay.
00:25:24.000 And then they just come out and fight and you just hear them breathing and stuff?
00:25:28.000 Oh my god.
00:25:29.000 Well, first of all, the main event was spectacular.
00:25:32.000 It was an incredible fight.
00:25:34.000 And it was a fucking war.
00:25:35.000 But it was a war where, unlike any other war, there's no crowd.
00:25:40.000 Yeah.
00:25:40.000 And you're hearing everything.
00:25:41.000 You're hearing every smack of the flesh, every deep breath.
00:25:45.000 You hear them breathing in the nostrils with broken noses.
00:25:49.000 You can hear the fluid as they're breathing in because their nose is broken and blood's pouring out of it.
00:25:56.000 It was crazy.
00:25:57.000 It was crazy.
00:25:58.000 Jeez, they should just play music over it or something.
00:26:00.000 No.
00:26:01.000 Play crowd music.
00:26:02.000 No.
00:26:03.000 No, that was part of the thing.
00:26:05.000 Was it cool?
00:26:06.000 Was it cool?
00:26:06.000 That sounds kind of like...
00:26:07.000 Yeah.
00:26:08.000 Well, I didn't hate it.
00:26:09.000 I felt very fortunate.
00:26:11.000 Very fortunate to be there, one of the few people to be there live while this is going on.
00:26:15.000 That's how I felt.
00:26:16.000 Yeah, the whole world.
00:26:18.000 Yeah, while it was happening, I was like, wow, I'm so lucky I get to be here.
00:26:21.000 That's how I felt.
00:26:22.000 Even if I have to fly to fucking Florida to do it.
00:26:25.000 It was odd.
00:26:26.000 It was all odd.
00:26:28.000 That is weird.
00:26:29.000 What was it like going through, getting off the plane, taking the car to the thing?
00:26:33.000 It was all weird.
00:26:34.000 The driver's got a mouth covering on.
00:26:36.000 Right.
00:26:36.000 He was pretty cool about it.
00:26:38.000 I went to a restaurant.
00:26:40.000 You did?
00:26:40.000 Yeah.
00:26:41.000 I ate at a Morton Steakhouse.
00:26:43.000 All open?
00:26:44.000 Yep.
00:26:45.000 Sat down, no mask.
00:26:46.000 The waiter had a mask on.
00:26:49.000 They made him wear masks.
00:26:51.000 Me and Eddie Bravo sat down, had steak, had a glass of wine.
00:26:54.000 Really?
00:26:56.000 Geez.
00:26:56.000 People at the next tables?
00:26:58.000 There was one or two other couples.
00:27:02.000 There was an older couple.
00:27:03.000 Not that we were a couple.
00:27:04.000 Excuse me.
00:27:05.000 There was one older couple and one younger couple.
00:27:08.000 And then there was maybe a couple other people at the bar.
00:27:11.000 Wow.
00:27:12.000 So it was fairly empty.
00:27:13.000 But also it was like 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
00:27:16.000 Oh, okay.
00:27:16.000 Right.
00:27:17.000 Are they limiting how many people can come in?
00:27:19.000 Yeah, I think in a lot of places.
00:27:21.000 My friend Nick, he owns Gaetano's Restaurant in Vegas, and he showed me a diagram of what they're allowed to do.
00:27:28.000 They used a ruler to measure out the floor.
00:27:31.000 Right.
00:27:32.000 And they put six feet in between tables.
00:27:34.000 And so, kind of like every other table, they put a black tablecloth over it, so you couldn't use that table.
00:27:40.000 So people were separated.
00:27:42.000 Right.
00:27:42.000 But I mean, how much of this is science?
00:27:44.000 I mean, how much of this is nonsense?
00:27:46.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:27:47.000 I don't know.
00:27:48.000 Nobody knows!
00:27:50.000 I feel like every conversation we have about all of it, it always ends up with, who knows?
00:27:54.000 Right, because if you've got all these tables blocked off, right?
00:27:57.000 Yeah.
00:27:57.000 You've got a black tablecloth on, you can't use that.
00:28:00.000 What if someone's coughing over there?
00:28:01.000 You cool eating your spaghetti while this guy's coughing 12 feet away from you?
00:28:04.000 Who knows what's going on in the kitchen?
00:28:06.000 Who knows what the busboy putting their utensils out?
00:28:09.000 Right, who knows?
00:28:10.000 All of it.
00:28:14.000 Doing our thing and being cautious with takeout.
00:28:17.000 Maybe we're playing the odds.
00:28:20.000 Maybe the odds are more in our favor if we can kind of cut down on some of the dumb stuff.
00:28:25.000 Or maybe our immune system is going to turn into a pile of goo.
00:28:30.000 A mushy, bitch-ass immune system that can't handle anything.
00:28:34.000 Oh, man.
00:28:35.000 I don't know, man.
00:28:36.000 I really thought I had it.
00:28:37.000 I was so upset that I didn't.
00:28:39.000 I know.
00:28:40.000 Everybody thought that.
00:28:41.000 I think I had a sniffle back in January.
00:28:43.000 Yeah, I know it.
00:28:44.000 I was in Seattle.
00:28:44.000 I was on the airplane.
00:28:46.000 I came home.
00:28:47.000 I felt like shit.
00:28:48.000 Guarantee you I'm immune.
00:28:49.000 I gotta be immune.
00:28:50.000 Everybody said that.
00:28:51.000 Tim Dillon was fucking convinced.
00:28:53.000 Dude, I was so sick.
00:28:54.000 I was sicker than I've ever been in December telling you I got it.
00:28:58.000 Nothing.
00:28:59.000 Nothing.
00:28:59.000 Nothing.
00:29:00.000 And then I told my wife, and she's like, none of those tests are working anyway.
00:29:04.000 That's not true.
00:29:05.000 It's like, you gotta believe in the testing at a certain point.
00:29:07.000 I've been swabbed.
00:29:08.000 I saw you get the swabbed.
00:29:10.000 That did not look fun.
00:29:11.000 Yeah, I got it then.
00:29:12.000 You were rocked.
00:29:12.000 Yeah, it just tickles.
00:29:15.000 It's like, ugh.
00:29:15.000 You were messed up for like 15 minutes.
00:29:17.000 You were kind of like, oof.
00:29:18.000 No.
00:29:19.000 You looked weird.
00:29:20.000 No.
00:29:20.000 You're exaggerating.
00:29:22.000 Yes, you are.
00:29:22.000 You were playing pool.
00:29:23.000 You were like, hmm, this felt weird.
00:29:25.000 No, I told you it irritates you for 15 minutes, but it's not that bad.
00:29:29.000 I wasn't acting weird.
00:29:30.000 If it wasn't for the pandemic, I would have had to hold you as you cried.
00:29:35.000 I was weeping in the inside.
00:29:36.000 That makes you feel better.
00:29:37.000 I had it done again on Sunday, though, and it was way easier.
00:29:40.000 I think my right nostril is less sensitive than my less nostril, if that makes any sense.
00:29:45.000 Well, she said as she was going in, I'm basically touching your brain.
00:29:47.000 Yeah.
00:29:48.000 But they did it again on my right nostril on Sunday, and it was nothing.
00:29:52.000 Interesting.
00:29:52.000 It's weird.
00:29:53.000 I really think I have a sensitive nostril.
00:29:55.000 Oh, that's weird.
00:29:56.000 Well, it's been broken.
00:29:57.000 Right.
00:29:58.000 This fucking nose is useless.
00:30:00.000 How many times?
00:30:01.000 Oh, who knows?
00:30:02.000 Broke it first when I was five.
00:30:03.000 Fell down to fly stairs when I was five.
00:30:05.000 Ow.
00:30:05.000 Yeah.
00:30:06.000 Jeez.
00:30:07.000 I've had broken noses ever since then.
00:30:09.000 Like, no bullshit.
00:30:11.000 It's crazy.
00:30:11.000 Like, seriously.
00:30:12.000 I've never broken my nose.
00:30:14.000 Ever?
00:30:14.000 Not once.
00:30:14.000 We can fix that.
00:30:16.000 Jamie can headbutt you.
00:30:18.000 We could film and make a great TikTok video.
00:30:20.000 That'd be great.
00:30:21.000 We'll go viral.
00:30:23.000 Have you broken anything?
00:30:25.000 The only thing I broke was I broke a collarbone, a rib once when I was surfing and learning to surf and it went right into my gut.
00:30:34.000 And then I broke the top of my foot, one of the bones on the top of my foot.
00:30:39.000 Those are weird, right?
00:30:39.000 Because you can't do shit about them.
00:30:40.000 Can't do anything.
00:30:41.000 Yeah, I broke that before too.
00:30:42.000 Except stop you from playing.
00:30:44.000 You just walk fucked up for a month and a half.
00:30:46.000 It's true.
00:30:47.000 Did you break your collarbone or just your rib?
00:30:49.000 Just a rib.
00:30:50.000 Oh.
00:30:50.000 Just a rib.
00:30:51.000 Yeah, I know a dude who had a fake collarbone.
00:30:53.000 He had a metal plate because his collarbone was so shattered in a motorcycle accident that they had to replace it.
00:30:58.000 So he had like a steel plate in place of his collarbone.
00:31:02.000 That's weird.
00:31:03.000 He said it hurt like hell when it got cold out.
00:31:05.000 Oh, really?
00:31:06.000 Yeah, because it's a metal piece in your fucking shoulder.
00:31:09.000 That's not good.
00:31:10.000 Collarbone's a weird one.
00:31:11.000 It is a strange one.
00:31:13.000 You know what's weird?
00:31:13.000 I've never seen anybody break it in all the years I've seen fights.
00:31:17.000 Wow, that's interesting because it's pretty delicate.
00:31:20.000 I would think so.
00:31:21.000 I remember someone saying that, like, if I was ever in a fight, I'd just punch someone in the collarbone.
00:31:26.000 I'm like, mm.
00:31:27.000 Yeah, I don't think that's going to work.
00:31:29.000 I love how everybody walks around just with their one move in their head.
00:31:34.000 And when that goes south, the look of panic in their face when it doesn't work.
00:31:38.000 Right.
00:31:39.000 I'll just grab them by the balls and pull.
00:31:41.000 Dude, I woke up this morning and I spent the first hour of my day watching Russian slap fighting videos.
00:31:46.000 Of course you did.
00:31:49.000 It might be the dumbest thing that's going on today.
00:31:53.000 Slap fighting?
00:31:53.000 Yeah.
00:31:54.000 You know what it is?
00:31:55.000 No.
00:31:55.000 Oh my god.
00:31:56.000 Oh, is that when the two guys, it looks like they're going to arm wrestle?
00:31:58.000 They just stand in front of each other and they let each other slap each other in the face.
00:32:03.000 And first of all, whoever goes first has such a monster advantage.
00:32:07.000 Yeah, of course.
00:32:08.000 Because they KO each other all the time.
00:32:10.000 These huge guys.
00:32:12.000 And they swing from the hip and the other guy doesn't even move.
00:32:15.000 And they open palm strike each other in the face.
00:32:18.000 I spent an hour today.
00:32:19.000 Is this new?
00:32:20.000 Or was this like an old Russian tradition?
00:32:23.000 I don't know.
00:32:24.000 I don't know how long it's been around for.
00:32:26.000 I think the first time I watched it was like about a year or two ago, maybe.
00:32:31.000 I don't remember.
00:32:32.000 But it was this morning.
00:32:35.000 It was the fucking...
00:32:36.000 To slap you right in the head.
00:32:38.000 It was the thing du jour.
00:32:39.000 It's funny.
00:32:40.000 What makes you, when you wake up, think, you know, I'm going to look up...
00:32:43.000 Like when you first pick up your device.
00:32:46.000 Because I remember there was this one video of a bunch of people standing around.
00:32:49.000 And this guy slapped this guy and KO'd him.
00:32:52.000 And all the people that were standing around were like, wah!
00:32:56.000 And they thought it was cool.
00:32:57.000 I was like, that might be the only time where people think it's cool to be right next to someone who got violent brain trauma.
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:05.000 And I was trying to find that video because it was such a strange video.
00:33:09.000 Right.
00:33:09.000 Because there was, I don't remember if there was a table or not.
00:33:12.000 That's weird.
00:33:13.000 All the people were standing around and they were laughing and smiling while this guy went unconscious.
00:33:19.000 And I was like, that's so odd.
00:33:22.000 Do they not know that this is really bad?
00:33:26.000 Did some terrible thing just happen to this guy?
00:33:28.000 They think it's funny and they're laughing.
00:33:29.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:33:30.000 No idea.
00:33:31.000 Well, it's almost like it's not real because it's slapping, because it's not a punch.
00:33:36.000 Like, if he kicked him in the head, and the same thing happened, he goes unconscious and falls back, people are like, oh my god, oh my god, they'd be freaked out.
00:33:42.000 But instead, they slap each other, and everyone's like, ha ha!
00:33:45.000 Ha ha!
00:33:48.000 Like, what the fuck is that?
00:33:49.000 No sitting on the beach.
00:33:50.000 Ah!
00:33:51.000 Those are the people you're talking to.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, it was one of those weird things.
00:33:56.000 I'm like, how did this become okay?
00:33:58.000 Yeah.
00:33:58.000 Where you just...
00:33:59.000 Full brain trauma.
00:34:01.000 I mean, you can see their head snap.
00:34:04.000 You see their head wiggle and the brain sloshing around inside their noggin.
00:34:08.000 Yeah.
00:34:09.000 Well, it's like in any fight, right?
00:34:10.000 If you're watching a fight.
00:34:11.000 What is this one here, Jamie?
00:34:12.000 Oh, here goes one.
00:34:14.000 This guy's 6'7 on the left.
00:34:15.000 He's a former MMA fighter from Brazil, it says.
00:34:18.000 Oh my god.
00:34:19.000 This is all Russia?
00:34:20.000 They put powder in their hands, too.
00:34:22.000 Oh my goodness.
00:34:24.000 He didn't even move.
00:34:25.000 Yeah, oh my goodness.
00:34:27.000 Oof.
00:34:28.000 They put a lot of fucking force into that too.
00:34:30.000 He is a rock.
00:34:30.000 Look at the size of his neck though.
00:34:32.000 This guy's, why do they powder up their hands?
00:34:34.000 He has no neck.
00:34:36.000 To show the mark?
00:34:37.000 Take the sweat off?
00:34:38.000 Look at this, here we go.
00:34:39.000 They're mic'd up too.
00:34:40.000 Here we go.
00:34:41.000 Oh my goodness.
00:34:42.000 Oh.
00:34:43.000 Oh, he took it.
00:34:46.000 Why do they...
00:34:47.000 I don't understand why they're looking at the powder.
00:34:50.000 I don't understand why they're doing it.
00:34:52.000 He's right.
00:34:52.000 He slid his ear down.
00:34:53.000 Hold on a second.
00:34:54.000 Back that up.
00:34:55.000 There's rules.
00:34:56.000 Hold on.
00:34:57.000 He is right.
00:34:58.000 He slid his ear down.
00:35:00.000 He slid his ear down.
00:35:00.000 It was a foul.
00:35:01.000 It was a foul.
00:35:02.000 He slid his...
00:35:03.000 Oh, because you can't mess with the guy's ear.
00:35:06.000 What?
00:35:06.000 You could probably say he moved his head down when he was in mid-swing.
00:35:09.000 When I was a young slapper, one of the techniques would be get his ear and bring it down towards the chin.
00:35:15.000 Oh, they have rules.
00:35:16.000 Okay, let me see the rules here.
00:35:18.000 Okay, one more time.
00:35:19.000 Wait, they're not barbarians.
00:35:20.000 He's going to smack them again.
00:35:23.000 Oh my goodness.
00:35:24.000 They're also doing this in a prison, by the way.
00:35:26.000 Oh, of course they are.
00:35:28.000 He looks fucked up there.
00:35:31.000 He's spitting a tooth out.
00:35:32.000 Is he?
00:35:33.000 He looks like he's spitting something out.
00:35:35.000 Oh, he got rocked.
00:35:36.000 Oh, do you need a doctor?
00:35:38.000 Do you need a doctor?
00:35:40.000 He asked him.
00:35:40.000 That's okay.
00:35:41.000 How do you ask someone?
00:35:42.000 And they shake hands.
00:35:43.000 Now we're cool.
00:35:43.000 Shake hands.
00:35:44.000 Smelling salts.
00:35:45.000 He's got powdered sugar all over his face.
00:35:46.000 And now he's coming in for another hit.
00:35:48.000 This is...
00:35:48.000 Oh, God.
00:35:50.000 This is without being stay-at-home.
00:35:52.000 This is how bored they are.
00:35:52.000 Look at the swing.
00:35:54.000 He's a big dude.
00:35:55.000 Mm-hmm.
00:35:56.000 Here it comes.
00:35:57.000 One, two...
00:35:59.000 Oh, my goodness.
00:36:01.000 He got him in the ear.
00:36:02.000 Is that all right?
00:36:03.000 Oh, God.
00:36:05.000 What are the rules?
00:36:06.000 The guy's holding on to the desk for dear life.
00:36:09.000 Is that legal?
00:36:10.000 There's no rules.
00:36:13.000 It's 30 minutes.
00:36:15.000 It was strong.
00:36:15.000 He punched him really good.
00:36:17.000 He punched him really good.
00:36:18.000 These are the people you're going to explain.
00:36:20.000 They're getting points for successful hits.
00:36:22.000 Oh, come on.
00:36:23.000 Really?
00:36:23.000 I said one versus two earlier.
00:36:25.000 No, I just think they're just doing this until one guy drops.
00:36:28.000 Just a little chubby.
00:36:28.000 And I'm betting on the black eye.
00:36:32.000 He's taking these so much better.
00:36:34.000 The other guy seems like he's...
00:36:36.000 Oh, my God.
00:36:37.000 There's so much force to that.
00:36:40.000 Oh my god.
00:36:41.000 This is so crazy.
00:36:42.000 It was good.
00:36:44.000 It was good hit.
00:36:45.000 It was good.
00:36:46.000 Smacked you in the face.
00:36:47.000 I love the trend.
00:36:48.000 And they're shaking hands.
00:36:49.000 I like it, bro.
00:36:49.000 I like it.
00:36:50.000 Like what you did to me there.
00:36:51.000 Oh, look at the side of that guy's face.
00:36:53.000 Look, he's sweating.
00:36:54.000 He's purple.
00:36:54.000 He's sweating.
00:36:55.000 He knows he's going out.
00:36:56.000 Look at him gripping the table.
00:36:57.000 Look at him gripping the table.
00:36:58.000 Watch this.
00:36:59.000 He knows it's like a truck about to hit him in the head.
00:37:01.000 This is the rap right here.
00:37:02.000 He ain't gonna make this.
00:37:03.000 Eee!
00:37:06.000 Wow, he's still there.
00:37:07.000 He's holding on for dear life.
00:37:09.000 He's still there.
00:37:10.000 Barely.
00:37:11.000 Thumbs up.
00:37:12.000 He's fine.
00:37:12.000 Yes, okay.
00:37:13.000 I closed my eyes.
00:37:14.000 I closed my eyes.
00:37:14.000 Fuck you, man.
00:37:15.000 You scared the shot out of me.
00:37:18.000 What?
00:37:20.000 Scared the shot out?
00:37:20.000 It might be a bad translation.
00:37:22.000 No, it's perfect.
00:37:23.000 That's how you said it.
00:37:24.000 It's 3-3.
00:37:24.000 That means there are three hits in each side.
00:37:26.000 Oh my goodness.
00:37:27.000 They're like holding them up.
00:37:28.000 So you take three shots the same place.
00:37:31.000 Have you ever been slapped in the face before?
00:37:32.000 Not like that.
00:37:33.000 Oh my god, it's horrible.
00:37:34.000 Oh, this keeps going for a while.
00:37:35.000 How long?
00:37:37.000 Oh my god!
00:37:38.000 This is a 30 minute video.
00:37:40.000 Yeah.
00:37:41.000 Oh my god.
00:37:42.000 Someone's going out.
00:37:43.000 Keep going.
00:37:44.000 Scooch that up.
00:37:45.000 His flight last...
00:37:46.000 Yeah, that's where I was trying to get to the end.
00:37:47.000 I think that was it.
00:37:48.000 That's it?
00:37:49.000 Yeah, I don't think anyone went out.
00:37:50.000 They gave up?
00:37:51.000 Wow!
00:37:52.000 It was a great fight.
00:37:53.000 It was a great fight.
00:37:55.000 And look how you slapped me, I slapped you.
00:37:58.000 You slapped me, I slapped you.
00:38:00.000 We slapped very good.
00:38:02.000 Good lord.
00:38:03.000 What does it say?
00:38:03.000 I can't betray MMA. Oh, I'm so happy to take part in this show.
00:38:08.000 Interesting format, but I can't betray MMA. I am such a successful sportsman, and I know how to fight right.
00:38:17.000 Thank you so much for invitation.
00:38:19.000 It was an honor to fight against such a legend.
00:38:23.000 He is your champ.
00:38:25.000 I would love to come back.
00:38:26.000 So apparently...
00:38:27.000 He flew in.
00:38:28.000 He flew in to smack the Russian guy, and the Russian guy smacked him back.
00:38:31.000 And he earned respect.
00:38:33.000 Respect!
00:38:34.000 Yeah.
00:38:34.000 There's so many of these videos, man.
00:38:36.000 You could do this all day.
00:38:38.000 You could just watch guys slap each other all day.
00:38:40.000 Do they get knocked out a lot?
00:38:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:38:42.000 And when they do, it's spectacular.
00:38:44.000 Put up the one that I put on my Instagram today, because that one is a dude who has his eyeballs tattooed.
00:38:50.000 I was trying to see if they got money for that.
00:38:52.000 They got a 150,000 ruble prize.
00:38:56.000 Oh, that's like $30.
00:38:57.000 $2,000.
00:38:59.000 I want to see.
00:39:00.000 Put up the one from my Instagram today.
00:39:02.000 There's one enormous guy and another guy looks like he might have lifted weights once in high school.
00:39:09.000 Once.
00:39:10.000 It's such a mismatch.
00:39:12.000 Whoever sanctioned this is a real asshole because they got this kid.
00:39:16.000 It's the same guy.
00:39:17.000 Yeah, back it up.
00:39:18.000 Back it up.
00:39:18.000 Oh yeah, the same dude.
00:39:20.000 Okay, just play it again because watch this guy.
00:39:23.000 He has no force.
00:39:24.000 Look at this.
00:39:25.000 Yeah.
00:39:26.000 Nothing.
00:39:27.000 It's a drive-by.
00:39:27.000 Nothing.
00:39:28.000 So this guy apparently is the champ.
00:39:30.000 So he bitch slapped the champ.
00:39:32.000 They let him get the first slap.
00:39:33.000 And that was like a little lady slap.
00:39:36.000 But watch what Homeboy does to him.
00:39:37.000 This is horrific.
00:39:39.000 This is horrific.
00:39:40.000 First of all, look how little that guy is.
00:39:41.000 He's so little.
00:39:42.000 Look at his neck.
00:39:43.000 Why does he look so weird?
00:39:44.000 Because he's got tattoos everywhere and his eyeballs are tattooed.
00:39:47.000 Oh, God.
00:39:47.000 So look at his eyeballs.
00:39:49.000 Bro.
00:39:52.000 That guy doesn't remember anything about childhood now.
00:39:55.000 All that stuff's been erased.
00:39:56.000 Oh my god!
00:39:57.000 He's like an etch-a-sketch that you shake.
00:40:00.000 You wanna clear the screen?
00:40:02.000 One more time.
00:40:03.000 Watch this again.
00:40:04.000 Nothing.
00:40:04.000 Little slap.
00:40:05.000 He slept me.
00:40:06.000 I barely notice.
00:40:07.000 Slep.
00:40:08.000 Now watch.
00:40:09.000 The fucking thunderous boom.
00:40:11.000 These guys know how to do it, too.
00:40:13.000 That guy hit it.
00:40:13.000 Yeah, he really does.
00:40:14.000 He hit it with the fingers.
00:40:15.000 He weighs like 500 pounds.
00:40:17.000 He's enormous.
00:40:18.000 He's slapping with the fingers, where the other guy is going to use the palm of his hand.
00:40:22.000 He's going to really catch him.
00:40:24.000 Oh, God.
00:40:25.000 He's kidding.
00:40:27.000 It looks like his head came off.
00:40:28.000 Yeah, it looks like he's shot.
00:40:29.000 It looks like he's been shot.
00:40:31.000 When his hat falls off, it's like his head just exploded.
00:40:33.000 Oh, teeth are coming out.
00:40:36.000 Oh, good Lord.
00:40:41.000 Imagine that guy.
00:40:42.000 First of all, that guy looks like he's never even punched someone.
00:40:45.000 The way he did it was so...
00:40:46.000 Yeah, he's like a little kid.
00:40:48.000 He looks like a skater kid.
00:40:50.000 He's a sad guy.
00:40:51.000 That's why he's got all those fucked up tattoos on his face and everything.
00:40:54.000 He's probably emotionally disturbed.
00:40:55.000 And they talked him into it.
00:40:56.000 My friend, you could be greatest slap fighter of all time.
00:41:00.000 You could be the one.
00:41:02.000 Did you see that Street Fight video going around the last two days?
00:41:05.000 Good lord.
00:41:06.000 No, what you should see is my friend Robin Black's takedown of it.
00:41:12.000 Put up Robin Black's from his Instagram because he had some great lines in it.
00:41:17.000 What is it?
00:41:18.000 This is fucking two dudes who look like they're all methed out.
00:41:21.000 They get in a street fight.
00:41:23.000 Here, play it.
00:41:26.000 Give me some volume on this.
00:41:27.000 Robin Black, one minute breakdown.
00:41:28.000 Neighborhood karate.
00:41:29.000 Shirtless Steve versus street.
00:41:31.000 Steve, shirtless skip kick.
00:41:32.000 Toppa-toppa blocked.
00:41:34.000 Big, big, big five punch combination with a round kick chaser.
00:41:37.000 And now for the street elegance.
00:41:39.000 Watch this.
00:41:39.000 Bink?
00:41:40.000 What the fuck?
00:41:40.000 Modified spinning crescent kick to a bevy of punches, including the gin fizz uppercut that stuns shirtless Steve.
00:41:47.000 And now, Bink.
00:41:49.000 Lay for damage for the win.
00:41:50.000 Shirtless Steve assumed the after-school Shodokan stance versus the Street Steve tournament karate special.
00:41:55.000 An unfocused entry brings Steve into range for the street surge and the acid reflux special.
00:42:01.000 Boop.
00:42:02.000 More knuckles plus a converse kick.
00:42:04.000 Now behold the spin.
00:42:05.000 Full rotation of the body.
00:42:06.000 He'll look over his shoulder, find the target, and fire off a spinning hook kick.
00:42:10.000 But years of meth and inactivity will bind the hips, so he'll settle for the crescent kick.
00:42:15.000 Another angle?
00:42:16.000 Okay.
00:42:17.000 There's two angles.
00:42:19.000 Oh, years?
00:42:20.000 The instincts are still strong in Steve.
00:42:22.000 The guy gets kicked in the face, he's like, uh-oh.
00:42:23.000 Christine Uppercut, and now the finisher.
00:42:24.000 No, wait.
00:42:25.000 False start.
00:42:26.000 Let's line this bastard up.
00:42:27.000 Last call for liver delivery.
00:42:29.000 Bink.
00:42:30.000 That's right, friends.
00:42:31.000 We're living in a world of total documentation.
00:42:33.000 We've got the overhead cam.
00:42:35.000 How crazy is that?
00:42:36.000 The street fight has two angles, but I love years of meth and inactivity behind the hips.
00:42:43.000 Because Robin Black, my friend who did this video, who did the narration, he does real breakdowns of actual fights.
00:42:50.000 He's a martial arts expert.
00:42:52.000 He knows what he's doing.
00:42:52.000 Yeah, so the fact that he does this occasionally, he does them for everything.
00:42:56.000 He'll do it for like bugs fighting.
00:42:58.000 He does it for all kinds of shit.
00:42:59.000 But he'll also do it for like world-class fights.
00:43:02.000 He does them for Bellator.
00:43:03.000 Oh my god, it's hilarious.
00:43:05.000 Years of inactivity and meth will bind the hips.
00:43:08.000 I was gonna ask if he did the murder hornet and praying mantis and he did do it.
00:43:10.000 Did he?
00:43:11.000 He did?
00:43:11.000 Oh, put it on.
00:43:12.000 I haven't seen it.
00:43:13.000 I haven't seen it.
00:43:13.000 These murder hornets are bad news.
00:43:15.000 Praying mantises fuck up everything.
00:43:17.000 We're lucky they're little.
00:43:18.000 They would kill us all.
00:43:19.000 It's gonna beat the murder hornet?
00:43:20.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:43:21.000 What?
00:43:22.000 Pang Mantis has beat up everything.
00:43:24.000 Really?
00:43:24.000 They kill rats.
00:43:25.000 Kung Fu Mantis versus Murder Hornet.
00:43:27.000 Look how quickly.
00:43:28.000 Whoa.
00:43:28.000 Kung Fu Mantis will dominate by exploiting a structural truth of Murder Hornet's anatomical shape.
00:43:33.000 The connective path of Hornet's head, thorax, and abdomen create a curve with directional limitations for movement.
00:43:40.000 By gripping the outer curve, Kung Fu Mantis stays beyond and behind stinging distance.
00:43:45.000 Reach as he might, Murder Hornet simply cannot inject his venom into Kung Fu Mantis.
00:43:51.000 The Mantis just has him.
00:43:54.000 Wow.
00:44:02.000 Whoa.
00:44:13.000 Mantis eats in a quest to simply continue his existence and Murder Hornet continues to thrash to preserve his.
00:44:18.000 Oh my god.
00:44:19.000 Even as his sentience leaves him, his instincts of self-preservation are powerful.
00:44:23.000 A mighty reach with his weapon and a search for leverage or texture wherever it may exist.
00:44:27.000 He's going right through the head.
00:44:28.000 He's just eating his head.
00:44:30.000 Life leaves one to strengthen the other.
00:44:33.000 Crazy.
00:44:35.000 Eyeball first.
00:44:37.000 He's ate his whole head.
00:44:39.000 But meanwhile the bee's still alive.
00:44:43.000 It's eating like a corn on the cob.
00:44:45.000 Like an apple.
00:44:49.000 I don't know if I feel good that murder hornets can get schooled or that prey mantises exist.
00:45:08.000 I love both things.
00:45:10.000 I love it.
00:45:11.000 We need to just make more mantises and release them on these fucking pussy-ass murder hornets.
00:45:15.000 Yeah.
00:45:16.000 Holy cow.
00:45:17.000 Dude, praying mantises are goddamn terrifying.
00:45:20.000 They get everything.
00:45:21.000 They get everything.
00:45:21.000 You ever seen them get hummingbirds?
00:45:23.000 He didn't even think for a second.
00:45:24.000 He just got it.
00:45:25.000 Yeah, he's like, bitch, what?
00:45:27.000 Yeah, it was one move.
00:45:28.000 They have so much leverage in those claws, those weird fucking shaped things.
00:45:33.000 Those weird shaped things are just designed to hold shit so they can cut it in half.
00:45:37.000 And eat its head.
00:45:39.000 It eats hummingbirds?
00:45:40.000 They eat hummingbirds.
00:45:41.000 Holy shit.
00:45:41.000 Here, watch this.
00:45:42.000 So this hummingbird doesn't know what that is.
00:45:46.000 It just sings, oh, I'm bigger than you and I'm just hanging out.
00:45:49.000 And this thing's on the bird feeder, but I'm sure it's nothing.
00:45:52.000 Nothing to worry about.
00:45:53.000 And watch how it moves.
00:45:55.000 Watch how quick it is.
00:45:55.000 The praying mantis is just arms cocked.
00:45:57.000 But the movement.
00:45:58.000 Watch this.
00:45:59.000 Yeah!
00:46:00.000 Oh!
00:46:01.000 It got a hummingbird by its head!
00:46:02.000 It doesn't give a fuck.
00:46:04.000 They're so strong.
00:46:06.000 Oh my god!
00:46:07.000 Praying mantises are so strong.
00:46:08.000 His back legs are just hanging on the bird feeder and his front is eating a bird.
00:46:13.000 Yeah, and just drop down with it.
00:46:14.000 Now, here's the thing.
00:46:15.000 If you had arms, like proportionate arms, like look how small the arms are.
00:46:21.000 Wow.
00:46:21.000 You would imagine like, God, they can't be strong.
00:46:24.000 They have to be weak.
00:46:25.000 They're levers.
00:46:26.000 They're levers and also they're insect levers with an exoskeleton.
00:46:29.000 And they have preposterous amounts of strength relative to their size.
00:46:33.000 Like, have you ever seen ants carry things off?
00:46:36.000 Yeah.
00:46:36.000 Like, it's ridiculous.
00:46:37.000 They're so much stronger proportionately than we are.
00:46:41.000 And we are so lucky.
00:46:43.000 Do you remember Starship Troopers?
00:46:45.000 Look at this guy.
00:46:45.000 This guy's getting involved in the action.
00:46:47.000 Yeah, the guy saved the hummingbird's life.
00:46:50.000 The little points of contact for its little legs to be holding on to that.
00:46:53.000 Crazy.
00:46:54.000 Plus the bird's trying to fly away and it's like, you're staying here.
00:46:57.000 Yeah, it's like, no bitch.
00:46:58.000 Good lord.
00:46:59.000 It's crazy.
00:47:00.000 They're so strong.
00:47:01.000 That is insanity!
00:47:03.000 You don't realize how strong they are until, you see, we have this thing in our head where we see something and we think of ourselves and we think of like size, oh that's probably weaker than the other thing that's its size.
00:47:15.000 Because we would compare ourselves.
00:47:16.000 But have you ever been around a chimpanzee?
00:47:19.000 Have you ever like had a chimp, touch a chimp, like a baby?
00:47:22.000 No.
00:47:23.000 On news radio once, we had a baby chimp, and it had diapers.
00:47:26.000 It was like two years old, and it was there for some scene that we wind up not even using.
00:47:32.000 But I played with this chimp, and so I'm holding him, and it's really heavy, like this little thing, but feels like it's made out of wood.
00:47:40.000 Like, it's so dense.
00:47:42.000 Solid, yeah.
00:47:42.000 And that's where I had it in my head, and then it was hitting me in the back, and I was like, oh my god.
00:47:47.000 You know, it was playing with me, but I was like, this is so strong.
00:47:49.000 And this is a baby, a little baby.
00:47:51.000 But it gives you this understanding, like, oh, I have a distorted idea of what it is.
00:47:57.000 Because I think it's like me, but little.
00:47:59.000 What strong is.
00:48:00.000 But it's not.
00:48:00.000 It's a totally different kind of thing.
00:48:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:04.000 It's like the density of its tissue.
00:48:05.000 It's made of monkey parts.
00:48:07.000 It's made of preposterously strong material.
00:48:11.000 Jeez Louise.
00:48:12.000 And that ain't shit compared to a praying mantis.
00:48:14.000 If a praying mantis was the size of a chimp, the chimp would be fucked.
00:48:17.000 Yeah.
00:48:18.000 That's what's weird about them.
00:48:20.000 We're lucky they're little.
00:48:21.000 Yeah.
00:48:21.000 Do you remember Starship Troopers?
00:48:23.000 Yeah.
00:48:23.000 They were like giant praying mantises that killed everybody.
00:48:26.000 Wait, what?
00:48:27.000 Remember the bugs?
00:48:28.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:29.000 Those giant bugs that came out of the ground.
00:48:30.000 They basically were like a giant praying mantis or a beetle or some shit.
00:48:33.000 What were the bugs like?
00:48:36.000 I don't remember what they looked like.
00:48:38.000 I just remember them being giant.
00:48:39.000 Yeah, look at that.
00:48:39.000 Bro, it literally is a giant mantis.
00:48:43.000 Yeah, he's got levers.
00:48:46.000 Oh, so different kinds of bugs.
00:48:47.000 Yeah, they're like beetles.
00:48:48.000 They had all kinds.
00:48:49.000 This was a movie in the 90s or something, right?
00:48:52.000 Yeah, 97. Yeah.
00:48:54.000 Whatever happened to that dude who was the head guy?
00:48:56.000 Casper Vendium, I think so.
00:48:58.000 He's maybe one of the most handsome people that ever walked to face the earth.
00:49:01.000 He's so perfect.
00:49:02.000 What happened to him?
00:49:03.000 He's beautiful.
00:49:05.000 Yeah, look at him.
00:49:06.000 Oh yeah, I remember that dude.
00:49:07.000 That's him now, even now, today, at age 51. Starship Troopers 2017. There was a Starship Troopers 2017?
00:49:13.000 Look at how many there are.
00:49:15.000 There was Starship Troopers 3?
00:49:16.000 There's a lot of them, I think.
00:49:17.000 What?
00:49:18.000 Come on!
00:49:20.000 How is that possible?
00:49:21.000 And he was in all of them.
00:49:22.000 What?
00:49:23.000 Yeah.
00:49:24.000 Show me a video from Starship Troopers 2017. I need to see that.
00:49:28.000 Is there a video?
00:49:29.000 Traitor of Mars.
00:49:32.000 Go to videos.
00:49:34.000 Oh, here we go.
00:49:34.000 Oh boy, it's in Mars.
00:49:36.000 Oh no, it's a cartoon.
00:49:38.000 Oh, it's fake.
00:49:39.000 You fake fucks.
00:49:41.000 Oh, is it a video game?
00:49:42.000 No, I don't think so.
00:49:43.000 I think it's just a CGI. Oh, it's just a CGI movie.
00:49:47.000 Yeah.
00:49:48.000 Oh, wow.
00:49:48.000 Oh, the whole movie.
00:49:49.000 Oh, it's like the beginning of a video game.
00:49:51.000 Isn't it crazy that a CGI movie now is actually cheaper than doing a movie with CGI? You can do the whole thing in CGI now?
00:50:00.000 Like that.
00:50:01.000 That's how they're making movies right now, because you can't go into production.
00:50:05.000 Oh, that's going to be the death of all actors.
00:50:08.000 Yeah.
00:50:08.000 How many actors are losing their fucking minds now?
00:50:10.000 They're so fragile as it is.
00:50:12.000 It's got to be weird.
00:50:14.000 Imagine if you were dating a crazy actress, and she was hot, but you stuck around, but even though you knew she was a mess, and now the quarantine, there's no auditions, she's just going crazy.
00:50:25.000 All the real hair colors coming out.
00:50:28.000 Oh my god.
00:50:30.000 Hey, thanks for signing my book, Joe.
00:50:31.000 I didn't sign your book, Joe.
00:50:33.000 I mean, no, but you put a quote on the back.
00:50:34.000 Oh, that's right, I did.
00:50:35.000 And it comes out today, right?
00:50:36.000 It comes out today.
00:50:38.000 You just segued into book sales, did you?
00:50:40.000 I did.
00:50:42.000 I did.
00:50:43.000 It means a lot.
00:50:44.000 It means a lot that you did this.
00:50:45.000 Oh, please, I love you.
00:50:47.000 It says you're doing great?
00:50:48.000 Yep, you're doing great.
00:50:50.000 And other reasons to stay alive.
00:50:51.000 Yeah, you are.
00:50:52.000 It's just relative.
00:50:53.000 Some people are doing great.
00:50:54.000 Well, not everybody.
00:50:55.000 And other reasons to stay alive.
00:50:56.000 I had no idea how relevant it was going to be when I wrote it.
00:51:00.000 I'm in lofty company here on the book.
00:51:01.000 Patton Oswalt, Matt Damon, and Whitney Cummings.
00:51:05.000 Ooh.
00:51:05.000 Yeah.
00:51:06.000 You have some powerful friends.
00:51:07.000 All good people.
00:51:08.000 Dude, this is a real long book.
00:51:10.000 How long did it take you to write this bitch?
00:51:11.000 A year and a half.
00:51:13.000 Really?
00:51:13.000 Yeah, about that.
00:51:14.000 How many pages?
00:51:15.000 About 300. Wow.
00:51:18.000 Yeah.
00:51:18.000 You're doing great and other reasons to stay alive.
00:51:20.000 I had to do the audiobook.
00:51:22.000 I had to sneak in during quarantine.
00:51:24.000 How'd you sneak in?
00:51:25.000 It was like the first week, and I had to drive to a secret location and go in and read the book, and I had my Apple Watch on.
00:51:32.000 Did you do it illegally?
00:51:34.000 I guess technically.
00:51:35.000 You had an Apple Watch on?
00:51:37.000 Yes.
00:51:37.000 What happened then?
00:51:38.000 It alerted me when I got there.
00:51:40.000 That what?
00:51:41.000 That I should be staying home.
00:51:42.000 What?!
00:51:43.000 Mm-hmm.
00:51:43.000 Cut the shit!
00:51:44.000 Uh-huh.
00:51:45.000 What'd it say?
00:51:46.000 It said, uh, reminder, stay-at-home order.
00:51:51.000 Everybody stay at home.
00:51:53.000 So your watch is kind of ratting you out.
00:51:55.000 Uh-huh.
00:51:56.000 Yeah.
00:51:57.000 Time to switch to Samsung.
00:51:58.000 I know.
00:51:59.000 As soon as I got there, because I felt weird going anyway, but I had to get the audio book done.
00:52:04.000 It was just going to be me and the producer with a mask on.
00:52:06.000 And I got to the spot, and I was driving, and it was like, you know, the first couple of days, so it was really quiet out there.
00:52:12.000 There was nobody...
00:52:13.000 And I'm just cruising along and park in the parking lot, go into the thing, and bling on my watch.
00:52:19.000 Reminder, stay at home order.
00:52:21.000 If you were in your car, Tesla would have argued with it.
00:52:24.000 Shut up, person.
00:52:26.000 We're trying to make America great.
00:52:27.000 We challenge you.
00:52:29.000 You're infringing on my civil liberties.
00:52:31.000 Let me out.
00:52:34.000 I don't like that.
00:52:36.000 But it was weird, because I was reading the book.
00:52:38.000 You know, you have to read your whole book in, like, two days.
00:52:41.000 Sorry to go back.
00:52:42.000 And there were parts of the book that were, like, so on point of what's going on.
00:52:48.000 Like, I talk about this thing about animals coming to attack us.
00:52:52.000 Like, I always run into animals that are attacking me.
00:52:54.000 And then I get the whole last...
00:52:56.000 I don't want to start talking about germs.
00:52:59.000 E. coli, Ebola, all these germs we haven't heard of yet coming for us that we don't have antibiotics for.
00:53:06.000 Stuff like that.
00:53:07.000 I do this whole run on cruise ships.
00:53:10.000 You're never going to get me on one of those cruise ships.
00:53:12.000 They're filled with disease and I'm reading the book in pandemic.
00:53:16.000 That's crazy!
00:53:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:19.000 Tim Dillon was here a couple weeks ago and had an epic rant on cruise ships.
00:53:22.000 Oh, really?
00:53:23.000 We found out while he was here that it costs $25 a week to be on one of those cruise ships.
00:53:32.000 What does that mean?
00:53:34.000 It costs $25 a week.
00:53:37.000 For someone to be on?
00:53:38.000 Isn't that what it was?
00:53:39.000 It was like $100 for a four-day cruise.
00:53:42.000 It was like $25 a day.
00:53:43.000 Normally it was like $1,000 or $2,000 or something crazy.
00:53:45.000 That's right.
00:53:46.000 It was like $100.
00:53:47.000 It was more than a four-day cruise.
00:53:48.000 It was like five to seven.
00:53:50.000 It's like Mexico or wherever it was.
00:53:51.000 So, okay, we broke it down to how many dollars it was a day.
00:53:55.000 Right.
00:53:55.000 So it was like...
00:53:56.000 I'm confused, though.
00:53:57.000 It was less than $20 a day, right?
00:54:01.000 Mm-hmm.
00:54:01.000 What the cost of what you do?
00:54:03.000 To be on a cruise ship.
00:54:05.000 It's better than being homeless.
00:54:07.000 We're like, how many homeless people just go on a cruise ship because it's all you can eat?
00:54:12.000 Right.
00:54:14.000 You could really get fat.
00:54:15.000 You could go crazy and get fat.
00:54:17.000 Because apparently, I bet, if I had to guess, I've never been on a cruise ship, but I think that the way they make their money is the booze, right?
00:54:25.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
00:54:26.000 So they trick you into going.
00:54:27.000 Oh, and you have to pay for the booze?
00:54:29.000 I think so.
00:54:30.000 I don't think they can give you free booze.
00:54:33.000 I don't know.
00:54:34.000 You probably get like one drink for free.
00:54:36.000 Right, like a drink ticket.
00:54:37.000 Yeah.
00:54:38.000 And then you're just on...
00:54:39.000 Once you start going on a bender, you just rack up that credit card.
00:54:43.000 Oh my god.
00:54:44.000 They're disgusting without a pandemic.
00:54:46.000 I've never been on one.
00:54:48.000 I've never had a desire to be on one.
00:54:49.000 My kids wanted to go on one.
00:54:50.000 There's a Disney cruise.
00:54:51.000 I'm like, fuck off!
00:54:52.000 You don't know shit.
00:54:54.000 You're six.
00:54:55.000 We're not going on a goddamn Disney cruise.
00:54:57.000 I go to Disneyland and you can leave when you want.
00:55:00.000 You go on a cruise and you're stuck in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of wackos?
00:55:03.000 Did you ever hear that comedian that came on the boat after the last entertainer molested somebody, sexually assaulted someone up on deck, so they wouldn't let the performers up on deck?
00:55:14.000 What?
00:55:16.000 An entertainer, some other comic or somebody got a little handsy.
00:55:20.000 It was locked down.
00:55:22.000 So this guy shows up.
00:55:23.000 I forget who it was.
00:55:24.000 A comedian shows up on the boat and he's told, you can't go above deck.
00:55:28.000 You've got to stay down in the quarters with the crew.
00:55:33.000 So he has to stay in his room, in his quarters, and his room opened up and the stage door was across the hallway.
00:55:41.000 So he was just sitting down there for days.
00:55:43.000 Then they came, knocked on the door, time to perform.
00:55:46.000 He walks out onto stage in front of a thousand people.
00:55:50.000 Good night, everybody.
00:55:51.000 It's over.
00:55:51.000 He goes back into his hole like a hamster.
00:55:56.000 Like a rodeo.
00:55:57.000 Oh my god, what comic was that?
00:55:59.000 I forget who it was.
00:56:01.000 Oh my god, that's awful.
00:56:02.000 Oh, so brutal.
00:56:04.000 I would never, ever, ever, couldn't do it.
00:56:07.000 The only person I know who enjoys those is Alonzo.
00:56:10.000 But Alonzo Bowden does jazz cruises.
00:56:13.000 Yes, I know.
00:56:14.000 It's different.
00:56:15.000 It's totally, and he hangs out with the musicians.
00:56:17.000 Yes, he loves jazz.
00:56:19.000 Loves it.
00:56:19.000 So for him, it's like, you know, like if you went on a bacon cruise.
00:56:23.000 That's different.
00:56:24.000 If you went on a bread cruise, it's all just the best bread makers in the world.
00:56:27.000 I would do that.
00:56:28.000 Would you?
00:56:29.000 I probably would.
00:56:30.000 How many great bread makers are there?
00:56:32.000 Could you fill up a cruise ship?
00:56:33.000 You couldn't, but you could fill it up with the people who want to learn.
00:56:37.000 You definitely could do that.
00:56:38.000 Right, so it could be like baking lessons and then just the bakers.
00:56:43.000 Yeah.
00:56:45.000 My social media has just been bread tutorials since the pandemic.
00:56:51.000 Really?
00:56:52.000 All my whole feed.
00:56:54.000 Because I just, before it happened, this is a plug for my YouTube, I put all my videos on YouTube showing people how to bake bread.
00:57:02.000 Because from doing this show, everybody was like, considers me this bread maker.
00:57:06.000 You're the bread guy.
00:57:07.000 Yeah.
00:57:07.000 So I put up this, I just put up these tutorials of how to make it.
00:57:11.000 And then the pandemic hit and people couldn't get yeast.
00:57:13.000 So they just started flooding to my YouTube and sending pictures.
00:57:17.000 Now every day I get pictures.
00:57:19.000 Thanks, Tom.
00:57:20.000 Here's my first effort.
00:57:21.000 People like one-on-one like, why do you come out flat?
00:57:24.000 And I feel like I should answer them.
00:57:29.000 So I changed my whole podcast.
00:57:31.000 My whole podcast now is Breaking Bread with Tom.
00:57:34.000 I talked to you about this.
00:57:35.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:57:35.000 You've got to come on it.
00:57:36.000 I would love to.
00:57:37.000 I used Segura was the first one.
00:57:39.000 Was he?
00:57:39.000 Yeah.
00:57:39.000 Oh, that's awesome.
00:57:40.000 And it just went up.
00:57:41.000 So are you filming at the All Things Comedy Place?
00:57:43.000 We're going to.
00:57:44.000 Where are you filming at now?
00:57:46.000 Well, right now, Tom and I did it remotely.
00:57:49.000 We had cameras on both of us.
00:57:51.000 That's bullshit.
00:57:51.000 You need to get together.
00:57:52.000 I know.
00:57:53.000 Who's the pussy?
00:57:53.000 I did Alonzo.
00:57:54.000 Who's scared of germs?
00:57:56.000 Tom.
00:57:56.000 I think it was a scheduling thing.
00:57:58.000 Hmm.
00:57:59.000 Yeah.
00:57:59.000 Maybe it's Tom.
00:58:00.000 I would have done it.
00:58:01.000 I had just gotten tested by you.
00:58:02.000 Yes, thank God.
00:58:03.000 Yeah.
00:58:04.000 And Alonzo had also.
00:58:05.000 So Alonzo and I did one.
00:58:06.000 That's going to come out next week.
00:58:08.000 And I'm just going to create a set.
00:58:10.000 You know, remember Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live, the You Look Marvelous guy?
00:58:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:19.000 And he's just in that Italian booth at Musso and Frank's.
00:58:23.000 Oh, yeah.
00:58:23.000 That's going to be my set.
00:58:25.000 I'm just going to...
00:58:26.000 Because it's breaking bread.
00:58:27.000 It's just sitting like an old Italian restaurant.
00:58:30.000 Yeah.
00:58:30.000 And we sit with food and wine.
00:58:32.000 Yeah.
00:58:33.000 Look at that.
00:58:33.000 It's going to be like...
00:58:34.000 You look marvelous.
00:58:35.000 I think I'm going to do it like that.
00:58:36.000 I forgot how fun that was, that you look marvelous thing.
00:58:39.000 It was so good.
00:58:40.000 He was so funny.
00:58:41.000 That was like when I was a child.
00:58:42.000 Yes.
00:58:43.000 We were kids.
00:58:44.000 Remember when he had Howard Cosell on?
00:58:46.000 In the 80s.
00:58:47.000 81, maybe?
00:58:48.000 Oh, wow.
00:58:49.000 Was it really?
00:58:50.000 I think so.
00:58:52.000 He had Howard Cosell as a great one.
00:58:55.000 I just love that set.
00:58:57.000 I love that...
00:58:58.000 85. So that's the year I graduated high school.
00:59:01.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:02.000 Right before me.
00:59:03.000 17 years old.
00:59:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:59:04.000 Little baby.
00:59:05.000 You look marvelous.
00:59:06.000 You look marvelous.
00:59:08.000 Billy Crystal.
00:59:09.000 He was a handsome little fellow when he was young, wasn't he?
00:59:11.000 He was.
00:59:12.000 Look at that face.
00:59:13.000 He really was.
00:59:15.000 Remember that movie he did about the really depressing comedian, Mr. Saturday Night?
00:59:20.000 Oh, Mr. Saturday Night, yes.
00:59:23.000 I hated it.
00:59:24.000 I remember I went to see it.
00:59:25.000 I was on the road, and I went to see it during the daytime before the show by myself.
00:59:32.000 I remember leaving going, this is not how comedians are.
00:59:36.000 Like, what the fuck are you hanging out with, Billy?
00:59:38.000 Yeah.
00:59:39.000 Jesus Christ.
00:59:40.000 Most of my friends are comedians.
00:59:42.000 Like, this is the thing.
00:59:43.000 That was the movie.
00:59:45.000 There's a thing about comedians that people always want to think that we're depressed and angry in real life.
00:59:52.000 Yes.
00:59:53.000 That's not true.
00:59:54.000 Very dark people.
00:59:55.000 But isn't that a weird stereotype?
00:59:57.000 It is weird.
00:59:58.000 Think about all the people that we know.
00:59:59.000 Yeah.
01:00:00.000 Let's think about Segura and Alonzo.
01:00:02.000 Okay, you and I, if we were talking with no camera, we would talk just like this.
01:00:08.000 No different.
01:00:08.000 We would be talking shit.
01:00:09.000 We would be laughing.
01:00:11.000 Absolutely no different.
01:00:12.000 We're not brooding.
01:00:13.000 I'm not a brooding guy.
01:00:15.000 No.
01:00:15.000 And I know there are a few, but I think they're the minority.
01:00:20.000 I think so, too.
01:00:21.000 I'm thinking about the guys that I hang with in New York, like Colin and Norton and Robert Kelly and those guys.
01:00:28.000 And they're a little darker, but I would say what people think is that everyone's brooding and dark.
01:00:35.000 But I mean, they're the most joyful people.
01:00:36.000 When I hang with them, it's nothing but laughs.
01:00:39.000 They're complicated, though.
01:00:40.000 Yeah, well, Norton's very complicated.
01:00:42.000 Comedians are complicated, right?
01:00:44.000 They're busy heads.
01:00:45.000 Well, Norton is complicated, and Norton also spent a long time on the Opie and Anthony show, which was the whole thing about that show was being a wreck.
01:00:55.000 That was the hook.
01:00:56.000 It was talking shit.
01:00:57.000 It was a shit-talking fest.
01:01:00.000 I mean, people said the most preposterous things just to get a reaction.
01:01:04.000 Yeah.
01:01:06.000 There's something about those days where, you know, especially the early 2000s and the late 90s, I guess, people said the most awful things to make other comics laugh.
01:01:21.000 And if you took that stuff out of context...
01:01:24.000 That's a gross thing that people do, that little gotcha thing where people like to take things that someone said on one of those shows out of context.
01:01:30.000 I'm sure Norton has said a bunch of horrific things that he wished he never said, but he said them so that when you or I or Patrice or Bill Burr or Anthony, we would all be laughing.
01:01:42.000 But it's not because he means it.
01:01:45.000 There's a real grossness to that sort of going after people for old, ridiculous things they said on radio shows like that.
01:01:53.000 Especially comedians.
01:01:55.000 Especially that kind of culture, like you're saying.
01:01:57.000 The whole thing was, it was like a roast every night.
01:02:01.000 Like a classic roast every night.
01:02:03.000 Which is, these are the hardest, these are the funniest people on the planet.
01:02:07.000 The only thing that's going to make them laugh is surprise.
01:02:09.000 And the only way to surprise them is to say something no one would say.
01:02:13.000 Exactly.
01:02:14.000 No one!
01:02:15.000 You gotta go super hard.
01:02:17.000 Yeah, to surprise people.
01:02:19.000 Patrice O'Neill with something comedically, you've got to reach deep.
01:02:23.000 You want to shock Norton?
01:02:24.000 Yeah, right, exactly.
01:02:26.000 Good lord.
01:02:27.000 And the other offensive part of that got you kind of thing, which I don't think these guys have had to...
01:02:33.000 I don't think they've come after them so much.
01:02:35.000 But anyway, I think...
01:02:37.000 When you hung with them, when you were there, it was love.
01:02:42.000 It was just pure love.
01:02:43.000 These guys cared about each other so deeply and would say the most horrible...
01:02:49.000 You would say something to Rich Voss that was like, what are you doing?
01:02:54.000 He was the guy that was always the nail.
01:02:57.000 Some people were the hammer.
01:02:58.000 Voss was almost always the nail.
01:03:00.000 But he relished it.
01:03:02.000 Talk about a naturally funny human being.
01:03:05.000 He is so quick.
01:03:07.000 So quick, so naturally funny, and also takes a joke as good as anybody that's ever lived.
01:03:12.000 Takes it right on the chin like those slap-fighting guys.
01:03:14.000 And I don't know friends that loved each other more than Norton to Voss to Colin to Robert.
01:03:19.000 No.
01:03:20.000 That was a special time, the O.B. and Anthony Davis.
01:03:22.000 It was really special.
01:03:24.000 Yeah.
01:03:24.000 It definitely dipped into stuff.
01:03:26.000 Like, if you just rolled into that show out of context in your car when it was on terrestrial radio...
01:03:33.000 I'm sure it must have spun people's heads around.
01:03:36.000 Well, some people came in as guests and didn't understand it.
01:03:40.000 And I was there for a few of those.
01:03:42.000 And it was horrendous for them.
01:03:44.000 I remember watching these sort of sitcom-y actors who didn't know it was coming.
01:03:51.000 Hey!
01:03:52.000 On their press tour.
01:03:54.000 Especially once they had gotten over to Sirius XM and it was just like fucking no-holes barred, language, everything.
01:04:01.000 And then there were people that would come on who were surprisingly cool, like Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer would come on.
01:04:08.000 Yes!
01:04:09.000 So cool, roll with the punches kind of guys.
01:04:12.000 I'm really good friends with Dr. Phil's son.
01:04:14.000 Oh yeah?
01:04:15.000 Dr. Phil is great.
01:04:16.000 Oh yeah?
01:04:16.000 I would have never imagined.
01:04:18.000 He is the easiest going, nicest guy.
01:04:20.000 I had him on the podcast.
01:04:22.000 He's fucking great.
01:04:23.000 Yeah, that's the vibe.
01:04:23.000 He's great.
01:04:24.000 I was on the show with him, like in the later years.
01:04:26.000 And yeah, he seemed like a very cool guy.
01:04:29.000 He's a lot of fun.
01:04:30.000 What did he catch with the beginning of the Corona stuff?
01:04:34.000 There was a lot of...
01:04:35.000 They were saying that he was one of the guys that they were saying isn't a scientist, and he made some comments.
01:04:42.000 What did he say?
01:04:43.000 I don't know.
01:04:43.000 He said something...
01:04:44.000 Maybe he was about that on the side of this isn't a...
01:04:50.000 We shouldn't be overreacting, I think is the gist of it.
01:04:53.000 Well, he's a psychologist, right?
01:04:56.000 Yeah, which is probably the mental health maybe of what the lockdown would cause, something like that.
01:05:02.000 I think if you want to look at things from a psychologist's perspective, I want to talk to a psychologist about the mindset of people that panic in pandemics.
01:05:14.000 Because this is, I mean, when it comes to pandemics, this is a fairly mild one.
01:05:19.000 I mean, I hate to say that to anybody that lost loved ones or anybody that's currently sick.
01:05:24.000 It's not to be...
01:05:27.000 Insensitive about that.
01:05:28.000 But the reality of the past, when you look at the Black Plague or the Spanish Flu or any of the horrendous ones that people went through before, this one's fairly mild in comparison.
01:05:36.000 If unchecked, would this be as dangerous as the Spanish Flu?
01:05:40.000 No.
01:05:40.000 Look at the number of people that are asymptomatic.
01:05:43.000 Right.
01:05:43.000 This is unchecked.
01:05:45.000 Like 78% of the people that contact this are asymptomatic.
01:05:48.000 That's one of the shocking stats that I see on Katie Couric.
01:05:54.000 Instagram, she puts just this fact sheet up every day, and it's really just useful, just numbers.
01:06:00.000 The shocking number is the number of people who beat it, who had it, were hospitalized, and are fine from it.
01:06:09.000 It's a huge number.
01:06:10.000 I have eight friends that have got it.
01:06:12.000 The only one that was hospitalized is Michael Yeo.
01:06:14.000 Right.
01:06:15.000 Michael Yeo got it pretty bad.
01:06:16.000 I think he beat himself up.
01:06:18.000 I think his body was beaten down.
01:06:20.000 And I think it's a wake-up call to us.
01:06:22.000 One of the things that I'm noticing from not traveling is I feel so much better.
01:06:26.000 Dude, I can't tell you.
01:06:29.000 I've been thinking, like, I can't believe what I was doing for the last 20 years.
01:06:34.000 I can.
01:06:35.000 No!
01:06:36.000 Hardcore, up at 4 a.m., on the plane, flying in, connecting, getting on stage, pounding out two hours of material, get up 4 o'clock the next day, next city, boom, boom, for 20 years.
01:06:48.000 Yep, doing radio.
01:06:50.000 Can't...
01:06:50.000 I'm starting to think about...
01:06:52.000 I used to ride a motorcycle.
01:06:54.000 And when you're in it and riding the bike all the time, it makes perfect sense.
01:06:58.000 It's safe.
01:06:58.000 It seems like you're manageable.
01:07:00.000 You stay off that bike for two years.
01:07:02.000 You're like, I'm never getting on a bike again.
01:07:04.000 That's the most insane.
01:07:05.000 What was wrong with me?
01:07:05.000 What was wrong with me?
01:07:07.000 I'm starting to think that with travel for stand-up.
01:07:09.000 I'm like, was I insane?
01:07:12.000 Yeah.
01:07:12.000 I mean, I will go back to it.
01:07:14.000 I'm kind of thinking it a little, too.
01:07:14.000 I've actually talked to a couple of my friends about this.
01:07:17.000 I might do a residency in LA. Wow.
01:07:22.000 Smart.
01:07:22.000 Like, get a theater.
01:07:23.000 Yeah.
01:07:23.000 Get a theater, like a 500-seat theater, and just bang out weekends there.
01:07:28.000 Yeah.
01:07:29.000 That's a good idea.
01:07:30.000 Might not be a bad idea.
01:07:31.000 It's a really good idea.
01:07:33.000 I mean, Seinfeld did that at the Beacon.
01:07:35.000 Yeah.
01:07:35.000 He would just do like two weekends a month.
01:07:38.000 Yeah.
01:07:39.000 You can do it.
01:07:40.000 Yeah, you can.
01:07:41.000 Yeah.
01:07:41.000 You can do it.
01:07:42.000 Oh, please.
01:07:42.000 With the amount of people that live in this area?
01:07:44.000 Mm-hmm.
01:07:45.000 Yeah.
01:07:45.000 And people fly in.
01:07:46.000 Look, we get that at the comedy store all the time.
01:07:48.000 I've run into people all the time at the comedy store.
01:07:50.000 Wow, we flew in from Australia.
01:07:52.000 We flew in from Ireland.
01:07:53.000 Yeah.
01:07:54.000 People, they fly in from all over the world because they know that the comedy store is there.
01:07:57.000 And you can go there on a Tuesday night and see some insane lineups.
01:08:00.000 Insane.
01:08:01.000 And this is, I mean, that's the one thing about our economy locally that's really devastating is tourists.
01:08:05.000 I didn't realize how, I always think just show business here, it's tourism.
01:08:10.000 The people that come here every single, millions of people every year.
01:08:15.000 I know, then you could have a residency, you don't have to bang it.
01:08:19.000 And I'm also thinking, Tour a little more.
01:08:22.000 I mean, I'm talking out of my ass because when people call and give me an offer, I go.
01:08:27.000 But I think if I could tour like a band and be like, I'm going out in the fall.
01:08:31.000 I'm going September through Thanksgiving.
01:08:34.000 That's my tour.
01:08:35.000 And then I'm home.
01:08:36.000 Have you ramped up touring over the last few years at all?
01:08:39.000 Yes.
01:08:40.000 Yeah?
01:08:40.000 When did you start ramping it up?
01:08:43.000 I would say the last five years.
01:08:46.000 The last five years.
01:08:47.000 When I started selling bigger places and starting to do theaters.
01:08:51.000 Started getting that cheddar, baby.
01:08:52.000 Yeah, it was like you fight your whole life to be able to play a theater.
01:08:56.000 And then once that started happening, I was just, yeah.
01:08:59.000 Yeah.
01:08:59.000 I remember the first time I ever sold out a theater.
01:09:01.000 It was the craziest feeling ever.
01:09:02.000 Yeah.
01:09:03.000 I remember pulling into the parking lot.
01:09:04.000 This is not even a comedy club.
01:09:05.000 Yeah.
01:09:06.000 This is a theater.
01:09:07.000 Like there's bands come here.
01:09:08.000 Surreal.
01:09:09.000 Right.
01:09:09.000 Yeah.
01:09:09.000 Yeah.
01:09:09.000 You see the people on the walls.
01:09:11.000 Yeah.
01:09:11.000 And then you see all these people that don't work with comedy clubs like, you know, the security people and the sound guy.
01:09:17.000 Yeah.
01:09:18.000 Like, hey, what's up, man?
01:09:19.000 How you doing?
01:09:19.000 Dan, Joe.
01:09:20.000 Nice to meet you.
01:09:20.000 Blah, blah, blah.
01:09:21.000 Do you need anything?
01:09:22.000 Nope.
01:09:23.000 Nope.
01:09:23.000 Just a stool?
01:09:24.000 Yeah.
01:09:25.000 You know?
01:09:25.000 Okay, cool.
01:09:26.000 They're so happy.
01:09:26.000 They're so used to people coming in with real demands.
01:09:29.000 Yeah.
01:09:29.000 And you're used to being treated like shit for years.
01:09:32.000 You're just like...
01:09:33.000 And they're all there to see you.
01:09:34.000 Yeah.
01:09:35.000 It's weird.
01:09:36.000 It's special.
01:09:37.000 It makes it a show.
01:09:38.000 It makes it feel like a real show.
01:09:40.000 Yeah.
01:09:40.000 It feels...
01:09:41.000 The most surreal arenas.
01:09:43.000 That's the most surreal.
01:09:44.000 Yeah, I can't imagine.
01:09:45.000 You should come with me in one.
01:09:46.000 I would love to.
01:09:47.000 If we ever get allowed to do it again.
01:09:48.000 Oh, I'm sure we could do one in Florida this weekend if we wanted to.
01:09:51.000 Well, you can in Kansas City.
01:09:53.000 You can?
01:09:53.000 Yeah, Missouri's allowing concerts.
01:09:55.000 Concerts?
01:09:56.000 Right now.
01:09:57.000 Really?
01:09:58.000 Let's go!
01:09:59.000 And are they going?
01:10:00.000 Are people buying tickets?
01:10:01.000 I have no idea, but apparently Missouri just passed a thing.
01:10:04.000 I saw it through a trusted source, Lil Duvall's Instagram page.
01:10:09.000 That's a trusted source for sure.
01:10:11.000 But yeah, it said that Missouri's allowing concerts.
01:10:16.000 Yeah.
01:10:17.000 I mean, it's all going to come back.
01:10:18.000 It is going to come back.
01:10:19.000 It will.
01:10:20.000 But you've got to wonder how many people like you or I who are looking at our life now going, okay, well, what am I doing?
01:10:27.000 Am I going to keep doing this and beat myself up?
01:10:30.000 Because I just did it Saturday, right?
01:10:31.000 I flew to Florida Saturday, and then I flew back home first flight Sunday morning.
01:10:35.000 So I was back home at like 10 a.m.
01:10:40.000 on Sunday.
01:10:41.000 But then I got an IV bag.
01:10:43.000 I got a vitamin bag of IV. Smart.
01:10:46.000 Yeah.
01:10:46.000 And I got another COVID test.
01:10:48.000 I said, just give me a test.
01:10:49.000 I know everyone was tested at the UFC. They were very stringent with the testing.
01:10:53.000 You have to have a wristband to get there.
01:10:54.000 I go, but just fucking hit me with another test.
01:10:57.000 Right.
01:10:57.000 Not that bad.
01:10:58.000 Yeah.
01:11:00.000 But I was thinking before the IV bag, because the IV bag made me feel pretty good.
01:11:04.000 I was like, what am I doing?
01:11:05.000 Am I going to keep doing this?
01:11:07.000 Why am I going to keep doing this?
01:11:08.000 Well, because we love performing and people want to see you and it's what we do.
01:11:14.000 Fly to LA, bitch.
01:11:15.000 I'm going to be at a theater.
01:11:17.000 I know.
01:11:18.000 I know.
01:11:19.000 I still do some.
01:11:20.000 I'll still do a bunch.
01:11:21.000 I'm still going to go.
01:11:21.000 I know I'm going to go, but I don't know.
01:11:23.000 And it sounds so...
01:11:24.000 The only reason I hesitate is because my kids are a little older.
01:11:29.000 And, I mean, I didn't have the freedom to do it early when they were little.
01:11:33.000 I'm saying, like, I should have stayed home when they were little, but that's when I was coming up and, you know, had to go.
01:11:39.000 And I do love it.
01:11:40.000 I have to say, when you're in the rhythm of...
01:11:42.000 It's only, again, it's the motorcycle.
01:11:43.000 It's the distance of it that makes it seem crazy.
01:11:45.000 When I was in the middle of it, It was just what I did.
01:11:48.000 Maybe you could do it Ron White style if you had your own Tom Papa jet.
01:11:51.000 You say what he does?
01:11:52.000 He's got his own jet.
01:11:53.000 Ron White's got a jet.
01:11:55.000 There was that great scene, I think I've mentioned this on the show, the Ray Charles movie with Jamie Foxx.
01:12:01.000 I didn't see that.
01:12:03.000 Maybe I did and I forgot.
01:12:04.000 And when he redoes his contract, he puts a jet in it as part of the contract because the phrasing was somewhat conveying that because the travel's going to kill you.
01:12:16.000 That's the thing that kills you.
01:12:18.000 Is the travel on your own jet going to kill you less?
01:12:21.000 Oh yeah.
01:12:23.000 Oh, yeah.
01:12:24.000 Ask Ron.
01:12:25.000 You're cutting down days.
01:12:27.000 When I would tour with Seinfeld, I would be home after doing a gig in Atlanta.
01:12:34.000 I would be home in New York earlier than the guys doing sets at the Cellar and coming home.
01:12:41.000 Because you'd fly that night.
01:12:42.000 Fly that night!
01:12:44.000 You're home.
01:12:45.000 You're home.
01:12:46.000 Sleep in your own bed.
01:12:47.000 Yes.
01:12:48.000 It's a home.
01:12:48.000 Now you're not staying in the hotel.
01:12:50.000 Yes.
01:12:51.000 You're not having shitty sleep.
01:12:52.000 You're not going.
01:12:53.000 Yes.
01:12:53.000 Of course you're going to live longer.
01:12:55.000 Right.
01:12:56.000 But, you know, it's so fun to go though.
01:13:00.000 It's so great.
01:13:01.000 I love, I do, I'm in my yard and I, you know, there's not that many planes.
01:13:07.000 Going to Burbank now, which is...
01:13:08.000 Almost none.
01:13:09.000 Almost none.
01:13:10.000 It's like several a day kind of thing.
01:13:11.000 And they're like a little burst at night.
01:13:14.000 But when I hear them and I look up and I see the bottom of Alaska air, it looks like a whale's belly.
01:13:20.000 I'm like, oh, where are they going?
01:13:25.000 Are you going to go tell jokes?
01:13:27.000 I'll be with you guys soon.
01:13:29.000 How did the airline survive this?
01:13:31.000 How are they going to make it?
01:13:32.000 Well, they got a lot of dough.
01:13:35.000 I don't know how you...
01:13:36.000 Yeah, they did.
01:13:37.000 How much do they have?
01:13:38.000 I don't...
01:13:38.000 No, they got a...
01:13:39.000 The government helped them.
01:13:40.000 Oh.
01:13:41.000 But I don't know...
01:13:42.000 Where's the government getting that money?
01:13:43.000 They just make it.
01:13:44.000 Well, why didn't they make it to fix the fucking impoverished neighborhoods?
01:13:48.000 Why didn't they fix all that?
01:13:49.000 They're not important.
01:13:50.000 They've been in quarantine.
01:13:52.000 That's not...
01:13:53.000 That's...
01:13:53.000 We're talking about...
01:13:55.000 Poor people?
01:13:57.000 No!
01:13:58.000 No!
01:13:59.000 I don't know how you get back to operating an airline.
01:14:03.000 Right.
01:14:04.000 An airport.
01:14:05.000 How do we get back to?
01:14:05.000 Six feet apart at TSA. How is that going to happen?
01:14:07.000 The line's going to be up to San Francisco.
01:14:11.000 It's going to be insane.
01:14:11.000 It's going to be insane.
01:14:12.000 Yeah.
01:14:13.000 Oh my God.
01:14:14.000 I didn't even think of that.
01:14:15.000 Yeah.
01:14:15.000 Like when they're at full capacity.
01:14:16.000 How do you get through security?
01:14:17.000 When is it going to happen?
01:14:18.000 Are you going to have to go six hours before your flight to get through?
01:14:21.000 When can it happen?
01:14:23.000 I don't know, that part.
01:14:25.000 When can you do that again, like that?
01:14:27.000 Either vaccine or it ravaged the population, I guess.
01:14:31.000 Future air travel, four-hour process, self-check-in, disinfection, immunity passes.
01:14:36.000 Oh, fuck off.
01:14:38.000 Look at those outfits.
01:14:39.000 Four-hour process.
01:14:41.000 Four-hour process.
01:14:43.000 What?
01:14:43.000 Come on.
01:14:45.000 Four hours?
01:14:45.000 Once airports borders open again, people are able to fly freely, a process already in play as airports of all sizes around the world Ready strategies to ensure healthy air travel.
01:14:59.000 How much are you ready to change your flying habits?
01:15:01.000 Oh my god, it's going to be terrible.
01:15:03.000 It could get a little bit less because this also then at the end says this might cause less people to then fly, which brings the lines down a little bit.
01:15:09.000 Right, but that's going to fuck everybody up because there's going to be less flights available.
01:15:12.000 Oh yeah, there already are.
01:15:14.000 Oh, yeah, right now, but this is in the middle of the quarantine.
01:15:17.000 Once the quarantine's lifted, when can you fly to Bozeman, Montana?
01:15:21.000 You know what I mean?
01:15:23.000 Yeah, no, exactly.
01:15:25.000 Travel's going to be...
01:15:26.000 My sister sent me an article of some guy had to take a flight for work, and everyone was saying, Oh, I'm so jealous you're getting to fly for work, and it's going to be empty, and it's going to be great.
01:15:38.000 And he said it was horrible, because...
01:15:41.000 People were tense and nervous on flights before and putting their things in the overhead and trying to get ahead of you in line.
01:15:48.000 Now people's nerves are so – it was like they didn't want to be near other people.
01:15:53.000 They once saw everyone else as a contagion and just like, get away from me.
01:15:58.000 The nervous energy of the experience was a real drag for them.
01:16:03.000 My friend Lex, he flew from Boston to do the show.
01:16:06.000 He was the only person on the plane.
01:16:07.000 It was a private plane just for him.
01:16:09.000 Whole plane.
01:16:10.000 He had a mask on.
01:16:12.000 One guy.
01:16:12.000 The stewardesses didn't even talk to him.
01:16:15.000 Right.
01:16:15.000 There was no water, no nothing.
01:16:17.000 You don't get shit.
01:16:19.000 They don't even make contact to you.
01:16:20.000 They stay the fuck away from you.
01:16:22.000 Now, listen.
01:16:22.000 If it means that fewer people are going to be flying and we can go back to flying like it's in the 80s, that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
01:16:32.000 Yeah, but if you want to travel to places, you have to have a viable...
01:16:37.000 The airline has to have a reason to schedule a flight.
01:16:40.000 They have to be people traveling.
01:16:42.000 But don't you think it was a little maxed out before things got like...
01:16:48.000 Every flight.
01:16:49.000 When I started my career, there were empty seats on planes.
01:16:54.000 It wasn't a mad rush of humanity.
01:16:58.000 Are you prepared to pay more for plane tickets?
01:17:01.000 Yes.
01:17:01.000 I used to have a joke in my act because of the crowd and stuff.
01:17:07.000 People say the airlines are expensive.
01:17:10.000 People say it's too expensive to fly.
01:17:13.000 I say, not expensive enough.
01:17:19.000 Let's keep it to business travel, and the family of six, they vacation locally.
01:17:25.000 It's time to ramp up your life.
01:17:27.000 I hope you're doing great, sells a lot, and you can get one of them run white jets.
01:17:31.000 Oh man, I hope so.
01:17:32.000 Tell you what, that's how I travel, son.
01:17:35.000 Yeah.
01:17:36.000 He's got fucking smoking cigars, drinking tequila, just flying around.
01:17:40.000 Flying around.
01:17:41.000 Yeah.
01:17:41.000 Getting on a bus, doing it.
01:17:43.000 When I flew with Chappelle, he smokes on planes, smokes cigarettes.
01:17:46.000 Of course.
01:17:47.000 And I'm like, this is outrageous.
01:17:49.000 He doesn't even ask if the people around him are okay with it.
01:17:52.000 He just sparks up.
01:17:53.000 God.
01:17:54.000 It's like his thing.
01:17:55.000 Well, you can smoke on a private jet, I guess.
01:17:57.000 I guess.
01:17:58.000 I guess.
01:17:58.000 You must have to have some sort of an agreement with the pilots.
01:18:01.000 Yeah, that can't be.
01:18:02.000 Look, you're in a fucking tube flying around.
01:18:04.000 It's like, that air is going to get to everybody.
01:18:06.000 There's only one guy that can do that.
01:18:08.000 How much filtration is in that airplane?
01:18:10.000 Yeah.
01:18:11.000 Well, that's what they keep putting out reports.
01:18:14.000 I keep getting notes from the airlines.
01:18:16.000 Do you get those in your email?
01:18:18.000 I don't read them.
01:18:19.000 The little videos and stuff from the owner of United.
01:18:22.000 I'm wearing a mask.
01:18:23.000 Yeah, we're all disinfecting and all our air is 98% fresh and all this kind of stuff.
01:18:31.000 What are you, Rotten Tomatoes?
01:18:32.000 Yeah.
01:18:35.000 Their air has got only 30%.
01:18:37.000 Yeah, but no, it's going to be...
01:18:40.000 I do feel like it's recalibrating how you look at everything.
01:18:43.000 But once it all gets opened up and you have an opportunity to go to all these places, you probably go back to what we were doing.
01:18:51.000 When I was in Florida, I was walking down the hallway in my hotel and some guy in his room was coughing.
01:18:55.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 And I fucking panicked.
01:18:58.000 I panicked.
01:18:59.000 Yeah.
01:19:00.000 I was like, oh no, I walked faster.
01:19:02.000 Quickly, get through the hallway.
01:19:04.000 I remember thinking like, wow, is this how I'm going to be from now on?
01:19:07.000 I hear a cough and I'm going to freak out.
01:19:08.000 I know.
01:19:09.000 Something that didn't mean jack shit.
01:19:11.000 I know.
01:19:11.000 Three months ago, now I was like...
01:19:13.000 Yeah, uh-oh.
01:19:14.000 Is it coughing?
01:19:14.000 And it's going through the vent and it's coming into my room.
01:19:17.000 Little particles are in the air.
01:19:18.000 My last gig was in Pennsylvania.
01:19:22.000 And it was the Keswick Theater just north of Philadelphia.
01:19:27.000 And it was all just starting.
01:19:28.000 It was like March 7th.
01:19:29.000 So it was all starting to really stop.
01:19:32.000 And I get on the flight and I'm wondering, is this going to be my last gig for a while?
01:19:39.000 And I was really kind of bummed out about it.
01:19:42.000 And then Paula Poundstone came on the plane.
01:19:45.000 And I know Paula from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
01:19:47.000 And she's just great.
01:19:49.000 And she comes on and she's just like, we're fucked.
01:19:53.000 I go, really?
01:19:54.000 You think so?
01:19:54.000 I go, oh yeah.
01:19:55.000 And then she goes to sit in the back and she has an asthmatic condition.
01:19:59.000 Oh no.
01:20:00.000 The whole flight, she's just coughing in the back.
01:20:03.000 What?
01:20:05.000 Like a violent, heavy cough at periods, and she comes up to go to the bathroom at some point, and she's like, I'm real popular today.
01:20:13.000 And she was just freaking the entire plane out.
01:20:17.000 Oh my god.
01:20:18.000 Yeah.
01:20:19.000 Oh my god.
01:20:20.000 I know.
01:20:21.000 Oh my god.
01:20:22.000 She's so damn funny.
01:20:23.000 Has she ever been on?
01:20:24.000 No.
01:20:26.000 She's got asthma?
01:20:27.000 Yeah, she has some asthma thing, yeah.
01:20:29.000 That would make it really terrifying.
01:20:31.000 Yeah, she can get it.
01:20:32.000 Right.
01:20:33.000 That kind of thing.
01:20:34.000 I know.
01:20:35.000 I know.
01:20:37.000 God, is she funny, though.
01:20:38.000 So dry and just a road warrior.
01:20:43.000 Talk about travel.
01:20:46.000 She just pounded out for years.
01:20:48.000 Years.
01:20:49.000 She was really popular at one point in time.
01:20:51.000 What happened?
01:20:52.000 Really popular.
01:20:54.000 She had a drinking thing.
01:20:57.000 She had a little kerfuffle.
01:20:59.000 She had something with people said stuff about her as a mom and stuff and it was all cleared up and It took a little bit of a hit.
01:21:07.000 And then she came back and she just went on the road and just kept going and she was cleared of everything.
01:21:12.000 There was no problems and she just took every gig she could take and just played it, played it, played it.
01:21:18.000 And she's been on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me for 30 years straight.
01:21:22.000 And she's just...
01:21:23.000 What is, wait, wait, don't tell me, it's a podcast?
01:21:25.000 That's the NPR show.
01:21:26.000 It's Peter Sagal and it's like a news quiz and it's just they have three comedians on.
01:21:32.000 I do it with Alonzo a lot.
01:21:33.000 It's a podcast though, right?
01:21:34.000 Is that what it is?
01:21:34.000 No, it's an NPR radio show and a podcast.
01:21:37.000 But it was a radio show first.
01:21:39.000 And then it runs as a podcast.
01:21:42.000 And it's all current events.
01:21:43.000 It's all like, you know, stuff that's happening in the week.
01:21:46.000 And Paula is known as just the, her crowd work is like her real, she's so in the moment, off the cuff.
01:21:53.000 Brilliant.
01:21:54.000 Probably one of the best of all time.
01:21:55.000 And so in that format for the show, she's just a killer.
01:21:59.000 So she did that for 30 years and she's still...
01:22:02.000 Her audience is a little older, but she's super...
01:22:06.000 She sells out all these places.
01:22:09.000 She does not have to do radio for tickets.
01:22:13.000 She has a real, real strong base.
01:22:16.000 Yeah, there's so many people that made a living on the road and kind of counted on it.
01:22:23.000 So, like, their bills every month were kind of high, you know?
01:22:29.000 And now they're in this situation where they're like, holy shit, like, when can I work?
01:22:34.000 Yeah, no kidding.
01:22:35.000 No kidding.
01:22:36.000 I mean, that's the thing, like, in entertainment, even when there were recessions, entertainment always did okay.
01:22:42.000 Right.
01:22:43.000 Not this one.
01:22:44.000 There was a thing in The Sopranos where, like...
01:22:47.000 One of the characters says, you know, in a recession, entertainment and our thing, we're okay.
01:22:53.000 And our thing!
01:22:55.000 And they're recession-proof, but this one, live performance, holy shit.
01:22:59.000 Well, Live Nation almost went under.
01:23:01.000 Oh, really?
01:23:02.000 Yeah.
01:23:02.000 Yeah, Live Nation got a giant chunk bought out by the Saudi Empire.
01:23:07.000 Uh-huh.
01:23:07.000 Did you hear about that?
01:23:08.000 Yeah.
01:23:08.000 Yeah.
01:23:09.000 What do you mean?
01:23:10.000 Everybody was like, what the fuck?
01:23:11.000 They bought a sizable chunk of Live Nation.
01:23:15.000 Oh.
01:23:15.000 You know, because it's an open, it's a public company.
01:23:18.000 Right.
01:23:19.000 So they were hurting.
01:23:20.000 Oh.
01:23:21.000 See, you can find that article.
01:23:23.000 So they bought, so now they controlled part of it.
01:23:25.000 Saudi Arabia purchases $500 million stake in Live Nation.
01:23:29.000 Because that $500 million was probably worth a couple billion before this?
01:23:33.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:23:34.000 Is that what that means?
01:23:34.000 I mean, what is it worth now?
01:23:36.000 I mean, they're really taking a chance.
01:23:39.000 5.7% stake in Live...
01:23:40.000 Wow, how much is Live Nation worth?
01:23:42.000 Yeah, billions.
01:23:43.000 5.7%?
01:23:45.000 $500 million gets you 5%.
01:23:48.000 Right.
01:23:49.000 Saudi Public Investment Fund disclosed the stake, compromising 12,337,569 shares in a filing with the Securities Exchange Commission on Monday.
01:24:01.000 They're taking a big chance, too, though, because, like, when is that going to be happening again?
01:24:05.000 In Missouri this weekend.
01:24:07.000 Just Missouri, though.
01:24:08.000 Maybe Texas.
01:24:09.000 Yeah.
01:24:10.000 It'll come back.
01:24:11.000 I mean, it'll be back, but can you sustain the downside of it long enough?
01:24:14.000 Wait a minute.
01:24:14.000 Hold on a second.
01:24:15.000 What is this?
01:24:17.000 It's the Missouri thing.
01:24:18.000 Okay.
01:24:18.000 Missouri Governor Mike Parson unveiled a state reopening plan April 27th and included a note that live contras can resume starting Monday, May 4th.
01:24:28.000 Woo!
01:24:28.000 Billboard reports Missouri is the first state in the U.S. to reopen live events amid the coronavirus pandemic.
01:24:33.000 The plan dictates that seating shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements, which is a bullshit, nonsensical requirement.
01:24:42.000 You're all stuck together in a room screaming.
01:24:45.000 Yeah.
01:24:45.000 And the concertgoers must remain at least six feet apart.
01:24:49.000 Well, that won't happen when people are peeing.
01:24:51.000 The mayors of Missouri, major cities, St. Louis, Springfield, and Kansas City have revealed that live concerts and large gatherings will not return as the city's stay-home orders will remain intact.
01:25:04.000 Ah, the mayors overriding the governor?
01:25:06.000 Yes, it says we will continue to be guided by data, not dates.
01:25:11.000 St. Louis Mayor Lita Crewson.
01:25:15.000 Someone sounds like a liberal.
01:25:18.000 So now we can't do concerts in St. Louis either.
01:25:21.000 Yeah, so it looks like it's not going to happen in St. Louis.
01:25:23.000 It'll be a bit.
01:25:24.000 Maybe Kansas City.
01:25:25.000 Maybe they'll let you go there.
01:25:26.000 Yeah.
01:25:27.000 Somewhere.
01:25:27.000 Someone's going to do it.
01:25:29.000 Yeah.
01:25:30.000 Who's gonna be the first concert?
01:25:32.000 The idea of staying six feet apart, like, how many seats do you have to give up?
01:25:36.000 Like, we're about six feet apart.
01:25:38.000 How many seats is between you and me?
01:25:39.000 Three?
01:25:40.000 Maybe three?
01:25:41.000 One, two, three.
01:25:42.000 Yeah, four.
01:25:43.000 Four?
01:25:44.000 So you'd have to give up four seats, so you'd have one quarter if you're lucky.
01:25:48.000 Yeah.
01:25:49.000 Fuck that.
01:25:50.000 Yeah.
01:25:50.000 That's so crazy.
01:25:51.000 Yeah.
01:25:52.000 Everyone else spaced out.
01:25:52.000 The economics of that doesn't really work.
01:25:54.000 What if you're on a date?
01:25:55.000 Ooh, yeah.
01:25:56.000 Can you, if you take your lady friend, can they sit next to each other?
01:26:01.000 What?
01:26:01.000 You do that trick with the popcorn.
01:26:03.000 Well, here's the other thing, what about the people behind you?
01:26:04.000 You cut the hole in the bottom of the popcorn, put your junk in it, then she goes for the popcorn.
01:26:08.000 The diner, Mickey Rourke scene.
01:26:10.000 What about the people behind you?
01:26:12.000 Where the fuck are they going to go?
01:26:14.000 We're going to have to stagger people?
01:26:15.000 They're not right behind you, they're over here behind you.
01:26:17.000 Oh, fuck off.
01:26:18.000 Because then they're going to be too close to the people that are close to you.
01:26:22.000 Yeah.
01:26:22.000 That won't work.
01:26:24.000 Broadway just said they're not opening until Labor Day.
01:26:26.000 Well, thank God I don't like Broadway.
01:26:30.000 And their audience is all 65 plus.
01:26:33.000 Yeah, those are people that really should be terrified.
01:26:35.000 Even when they open.
01:26:36.000 When did they say they were going to open?
01:26:38.000 Labor Day.
01:26:39.000 Labor Day.
01:26:40.000 September.
01:26:41.000 Whoa.
01:26:41.000 Yeah.
01:26:42.000 Originally said June, now it's Labor Day.
01:26:44.000 I don't buy that.
01:26:45.000 Labor Day?
01:26:46.000 I'm supposed to do Madison Square Garden October 3rd.
01:26:49.000 Ooh.
01:26:51.000 Yeah.
01:26:52.000 New York City Marathon.
01:26:53.000 How's that going to happen?
01:26:54.000 November.
01:26:55.000 I don't know.
01:26:56.000 How's that going to happen?
01:26:56.000 Isn't it amazing how the months seem so close now?
01:26:59.000 Oh, yeah.
01:27:00.000 When you're doing the math of, like, will I be able to go out?
01:27:03.000 We're sitting here in May, and all of a sudden October looks like it's next week.
01:27:06.000 Well, November 1st, I'm at the Forum, the Great Western Forum, out here.
01:27:11.000 Oh, wow.
01:27:11.000 Yeah.
01:27:12.000 Oh, would that be sweet?
01:27:14.000 I don't even know if I could do that.
01:27:16.000 Imagine if you were, though.
01:27:17.000 Imagine if you make it.
01:27:18.000 Imagine if something happens between now and then where you're able to go do the garden.
01:27:22.000 Wouldn't that be great?
01:27:24.000 Weekend shows at the Houston Improv.
01:27:26.000 Brian Callen's already there.
01:27:27.000 Thursday, May 28th.
01:27:29.000 At the end of the month, they have a show booked right now.
01:27:31.000 What?
01:27:31.000 Yeah.
01:27:32.000 Well, my shows are still on sale in San Francisco right now.
01:27:35.000 Look at this motherfucker.
01:27:37.000 Alan Adams steps in Saturday, May 16th.
01:27:41.000 I salute you, Alan, and your wonderful mustache.
01:27:43.000 All the Texas Improvs, it looks like, are doing stuff this week.
01:27:47.000 Good for them.
01:27:47.000 Different rules everywhere.
01:27:49.000 Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
01:27:52.000 You know, if everyone acts cool, and if they do some precautions, clean the place, and it's going to be young people, no, it'll be half the...
01:28:01.000 Say it seats 400, maybe they'll have 150. I don't know if that's what they're doing there, though.
01:28:06.000 They might just be sitting down.
01:28:08.000 I don't think so.
01:28:09.000 Texas is buck wild, bro.
01:28:10.000 You can bring a gun.
01:28:14.000 I like that Callan's going.
01:28:15.000 Hey, I might move to Texas.
01:28:17.000 Callan and I and Shob have actually talked about this.
01:28:20.000 Getting a ranch together?
01:28:21.000 Well, here's the thing.
01:28:24.000 If California continues to be this restrictive, I don't know if this is a good place to live.
01:28:29.000 First of all, it's extremely expensive.
01:28:31.000 The taxes here are ridiculous.
01:28:33.000 And if they really say that we can't do stand-up until 2022 or some shit like that...
01:28:39.000 I might jet.
01:28:40.000 I'm not kidding.
01:28:42.000 I'm not kidding.
01:28:42.000 This is silly.
01:28:43.000 I don't need to be here.
01:28:44.000 The only reason why I'm here is that I'm close to people like you.
01:28:47.000 A lot of my friends live here.
01:28:49.000 The store's here.
01:28:50.000 But if they won't let us do the store, but we could do stand-up other places, why would we stay here?
01:28:55.000 Where in Texas, though?
01:28:56.000 I don't know, man.
01:28:58.000 Hmm.
01:28:58.000 Austin.
01:28:59.000 I like Austin a lot.
01:29:00.000 I like Dallas a lot.
01:29:01.000 I like Houston, but...
01:29:02.000 Yeah.
01:29:03.000 I don't know if I'd live in Houston.
01:29:05.000 I would definitely live in...
01:29:05.000 It's very humid there.
01:29:06.000 Yeah.
01:29:07.000 The summer's a motherfucker.
01:29:08.000 Oh, God.
01:29:09.000 Brutal.
01:29:10.000 Dallas is great.
01:29:11.000 I'm trying to read through this.
01:29:11.000 I think they're starting with 25% of listed occupancy.
01:29:15.000 Yeah.
01:29:16.000 At the improv?
01:29:17.000 Yeah, they're gonna do it smart.
01:29:19.000 Is that what it says?
01:29:20.000 It says they're not doing it to make money, they're doing it for the audiences.
01:29:24.000 Like it says it's not a money-making opportunity.
01:29:26.000 Tell that to Brian Callen, Brennan Chob, we're gonna demand their money.
01:29:29.000 The other thing is, they make most of their money off of alcohol.
01:29:33.000 And if people have to wear masks, how does that work?
01:29:36.000 Should we call Callen right now?
01:29:36.000 Everyone's got a sippy straw?
01:29:38.000 Let's call Callum right now.
01:29:40.000 Yeah, find out what's going on.
01:29:42.000 Since he's the one who's actually doing it.
01:29:43.000 Yeah, it says operating at 25% will not be a money-making exercise, nor will be 50% when that point is reached.
01:29:48.000 So they're not there yet.
01:29:50.000 I've got to...
01:29:51.000 I'm supposed to do Portland.
01:29:56.000 What's up, bud?
01:29:57.000 Hey, buddy, you're on the air, so don't say anything crazy.
01:29:59.000 Okay.
01:30:01.000 When are you doing the improv in Houston?
01:30:08.000 You're a savage.
01:30:13.000 How many people are allowed to be in the audience?
01:30:19.000 That's because that's all they could sell?
01:30:22.000 200 people in the crowd.
01:30:25.000 What is the normal capacity?
01:30:28.000 Yeah, I believe that's the number.
01:30:29.000 That's Texas.
01:30:30.000 Now, I just read in the New York Times, I mean, I'm sorry, Brendan Chubb has called me and said that the shutdown in Los Angeles is being considered till July?
01:30:40.000 Yes.
01:30:41.000 Yeah, that's what he said.
01:30:42.000 So normally the Houston Improv seats 450 people, it says.
01:30:45.000 Yeah.
01:30:46.000 So they'll allow 200 people?
01:30:47.000 Is that what it is?
01:30:48.000 That's correct.
01:30:49.000 Right.
01:30:49.000 Wow.
01:30:50.000 Yeah, LA is July.
01:30:52.000 How crazy is that?
01:30:54.000 Well, how do we fight that?
01:30:56.000 I mean, well, who is deciding that?
01:30:57.000 Some health official based on what data?
01:31:01.000 Yeah, and what's going to be different in July?
01:31:03.000 Nothing's going to be different in July.
01:31:05.000 Well, nothing's going to be different, but also, is this about getting absentee voting in for those seats in Congress?
01:31:12.000 What's going on?
01:31:13.000 I don't understand.
01:31:14.000 What?
01:31:15.000 Why would you think it would be about that?
01:31:18.000 I talked to a Republican...
01:31:21.000 There's an article about homelessness, and I wanted to speak to the scholar and the person that...
01:31:46.000 I'm not an expert on this, but that's what I heard, and I'm wondering.
01:31:50.000 That doesn't make any sense because this state is basically blue anyway.
01:31:53.000 It is, yeah.
01:31:55.000 That seems like a ridiculous thing to sink the economy for something you already have winning.
01:32:03.000 God, it can't be that.
01:32:05.000 It can't be that.
01:32:06.000 They can't blow up the whole economy just for that.
01:32:08.000 I think it's probably more of a liability thing.
01:32:11.000 Like, they're worried about if they make a decision and somehow it gets connected to a larger amount of deaths.
01:32:18.000 You know, because these people get paid while this is all going on.
01:32:21.000 Like, they are not the people that own the small businesses.
01:32:24.000 They're not...
01:32:24.000 Oh, I know.
01:32:25.000 Oh, I know.
01:32:26.000 No, I'm aware.
01:32:27.000 This is what happens when politicians are protecting and doing this for our, quote-unquote, Can Brian hear me?
01:32:35.000 We live in a country where my government doesn't represent me.
01:32:39.000 I have no recourse here.
01:32:40.000 Where are we moving?
01:32:42.000 You want to go to Texas?
01:32:43.000 I like Texas.
01:32:44.000 I've got to sit here like a cow chewing grass while Gavin Newsom has decided, for my own good, to shut down the entire state and the economy.
01:32:53.000 And I'm sorry to say this also, but from what I have read, and again, I may be wrong, but this is primarily a disease that Yes, we actually talked about it on the podcast that the average age that people die from this disease is older than the average age people die.
01:33:15.000 Okay, so we've shut down everything.
01:33:16.000 Instead of having a targeted quarantine or a smarter way to do this, I just have to do like a cow chewing grass.
01:33:23.000 I have to listen to whatever my politician tells me.
01:33:28.000 I thought it was May 15th.
01:33:30.000 Now it's July.
01:33:31.000 Yeah, no, I agree with you.
01:33:33.000 I agree with you in that way.
01:33:34.000 I think it's L.A. County is actually July.
01:33:36.000 The governor still has May 15th, and that they're moving forward with stages.
01:33:42.000 So the next stage will be gyms, and they're going to have certain disinfection salons, things like that.
01:33:49.000 They're going to have to have certain rules in place, hand sanitizer, things along those lines.
01:33:54.000 I'm just still so confused by this.
01:33:58.000 I think they should quarantine people that are higher at risk and quarantine people if they choose to be quarantined because they're still scared of it.
01:34:05.000 That's what I think.
01:34:18.000 I don't get it either, but Tom Papa wants to open for you.
01:34:20.000 He's here right now.
01:34:21.000 He wants to open for you in May.
01:34:24.000 Tom, I'll throw you up for 10 minutes.
01:34:27.000 We'll get you moving around and see how you do.
01:34:31.000 Thanks.
01:34:33.000 Obviously, you've got to take my workshop first, but we'll go from there.
01:34:37.000 It's not comedy.
01:34:38.000 It's mostly physical.
01:34:39.000 We get you stretching.
01:34:41.000 Your workshop.
01:34:43.000 I'll call you after I'm out of here.
01:34:44.000 I love you, buddy.
01:34:45.000 Bye.
01:34:48.000 So there you go.
01:34:49.000 So it's basically a little bit less than half capacity.
01:34:52.000 I have an offer to go do it in two weeks and then...
01:34:55.000 May?
01:34:56.000 May.
01:34:56.000 Houston?
01:34:57.000 Improv?
01:34:57.000 Which one?
01:34:58.000 Salt Lake City.
01:34:59.000 Oh, Wise Guys.
01:35:00.000 Love it there.
01:35:01.000 I know.
01:35:01.000 Love those guys.
01:35:02.000 Take it.
01:35:02.000 How many people in the audience?
01:35:04.000 150. Fill it up and let's test that immunity.
01:35:08.000 Come on, pussies!
01:35:10.000 I love Salt Lake, too.
01:35:11.000 And then my Portland show is like two weeks after that.
01:35:14.000 I would live in Utah.
01:35:16.000 I like Utah.
01:35:17.000 Utah's a great state.
01:35:18.000 Beautiful state.
01:35:19.000 People are scared of Mormons, so nobody moves there.
01:35:21.000 Yeah, it's really true.
01:35:22.000 They're all scared.
01:35:23.000 Like, oh my god, you go there, you have to join the cult.
01:35:25.000 Oh, they're so nice.
01:35:26.000 The whole city's so clean.
01:35:28.000 They're the best cult members in the world.
01:35:29.000 Oh, I love it.
01:35:30.000 But a lot of people are not cult members that live in Utah.
01:35:33.000 There's a lot of non-Mormons that live there, and they're the nicest folks.
01:35:36.000 So nice.
01:35:37.000 And it's, I think, the most beautiful state.
01:35:39.000 It's so diverse.
01:35:40.000 It's a very beautiful state.
01:35:42.000 God, it's gorgeous.
01:35:42.000 The mountains and the canyon lands.
01:35:45.000 Preach!
01:35:46.000 Preach, Tom Papa.
01:35:46.000 Oh, I love it.
01:35:47.000 You think you live there?
01:35:47.000 Could you live there?
01:35:49.000 I could live anywhere.
01:35:50.000 Anywhere.
01:35:51.000 Well, Wise Guys is a great club to work out of, too.
01:35:53.000 If you needed a local club to practice, you could do Wise Guys.
01:35:57.000 It's a good spot.
01:35:58.000 It's the most underrated club in the country, I think.
01:36:00.000 Yeah.
01:36:00.000 No, it's great.
01:36:01.000 It's really great.
01:36:02.000 It's so good.
01:36:02.000 Everybody knows how great Comedy Works in Denver is.
01:36:05.000 Everybody knows how great Zany's in Nashville is.
01:36:07.000 Most people don't...
01:36:08.000 Yeah, they sleep on it.
01:36:10.000 On the short list of great clubs, Wise Guys in Salt Lake City is right up there, in my opinion.
01:36:14.000 Yeah.
01:36:15.000 Yeah.
01:36:16.000 Oh man.
01:36:17.000 Do you think kids will be back in school in September?
01:36:19.000 I don't know, but if they're not, it's going to be a mess.
01:36:22.000 My kids are mocking their teachers with their fucking computer on mute.
01:36:26.000 I know!
01:36:29.000 My middle daughter, my 12-year-old, she's a savage.
01:36:34.000 She's ruthless.
01:36:35.000 She's a little predator.
01:36:36.000 And she just put them on mute.
01:36:38.000 Oh yeah!
01:36:39.000 Is that what she wants to do?
01:36:43.000 It's like, oh, you're so smart.
01:36:46.000 How did you learn?
01:36:47.000 Did you learn through a computer?
01:36:50.000 And she thinks it's hilarious.
01:36:52.000 They wake up right before they go to school.
01:36:54.000 I know.
01:36:54.000 Okay?
01:36:54.000 School starts at 8. They wake up at 7.56.
01:36:59.000 They pee, they drink some water, and they fucking sit in front of their computer.
01:37:04.000 My kids are up all night long, too.
01:37:07.000 I have no idea when they go to bed.
01:37:09.000 I get up to pee in the middle of the night, I still hear movies being played.
01:37:13.000 My daughter's just sitting on her computer, eating breakfast in bed.
01:37:17.000 They're in bed!
01:37:18.000 I know!
01:37:20.000 The teachers could not be less enthusiastic.
01:37:24.000 It's horrible.
01:37:25.000 They're so phoning it in.
01:37:26.000 One of my daughters, my nine-year-old, the fucking teacher's always late.
01:37:30.000 She gets mad at them if they tune into the Zoom thing late.
01:37:34.000 But she'll be there 15 minutes late just sluggishly talking to them about their studies.
01:37:40.000 And it's so...
01:37:42.000 BORING! It sounds so boring, I know.
01:37:44.000 Oh, it's so boring.
01:37:44.000 I sat with her and just to walk, I go, let me be a fly on the wall and watch this nonsense.
01:37:48.000 Yeah.
01:37:48.000 It's like, it's, regular school is deadening, right?
01:37:52.000 It's like, oh, it numbs you.
01:37:54.000 It's so, it's so frustrating, or it was for me.
01:37:57.000 Me too.
01:37:58.000 And I think their school is better than my school, but the Zoom shit is like 75% more annoying than regular school.
01:38:05.000 It doesn't work.
01:38:06.000 My friend's son stayed at school in Chicago and was like, you know, I could do classes from home or, you know, it's all going to be online for the end of the year.
01:38:17.000 So I could come home to LA or I could stay there and do anything.
01:38:20.000 Let me just stay there.
01:38:21.000 And be with my friends at least when we're off.
01:38:24.000 But he's a good student and he loves going to class.
01:38:26.000 He said it just doesn't compare.
01:38:28.000 You come out of class and you'd be like, I missed that part.
01:38:31.000 And you go sit with your buddy and have coffee and figure out the stuff that you missed and the whole other part of the experience.
01:38:38.000 It's not just about them spitting information into your brain in this two-dimensional space.
01:38:43.000 We're turning people into robots.
01:38:45.000 It's really brutal.
01:38:46.000 You know, this is the thing that I talked about, and I was just joking around, but if you just sat down and broke it down this way, if you were an artificial intelligence, right, and you were trying to trick people into submitting to become some sort of a symbiotic creation,
01:39:01.000 where you get people to join the matrix, how would you get them to do that?
01:39:05.000 Well, one good way to start out is make it so they don't want to go anywhere near each other.
01:39:10.000 Right.
01:39:10.000 Separate themselves.
01:39:12.000 Make them be accustomed to doing everything online virtually.
01:39:15.000 Yeah.
01:39:15.000 Make them accustomed to being terrified to be around people's physical touch.
01:39:20.000 You can't shake hands.
01:39:22.000 You can't do anything.
01:39:23.000 So who's controlling this matrix?
01:39:25.000 Well, this is the future.
01:39:27.000 The future is eventually we're going to be a part of this.
01:39:29.000 Look, Elon was on here talking about some neural link thing they're going to do.
01:39:34.000 Were they put in your brain?
01:39:36.000 Yeah.
01:39:36.000 His literal words were, you're not going to have to talk to communicate.
01:39:41.000 Really?
01:39:41.000 Yes.
01:39:42.000 And I was like, what?
01:39:44.000 Well, this is it, right?
01:39:45.000 This is how you get into the Matrix.
01:39:47.000 This is how eventually...
01:39:48.000 We're gonna eventually submit because it's going to be more interesting than the fucking Mad Max wasteland that's left in the world as the temperature rises and the diseases mutate.
01:39:58.000 Yeah.
01:39:58.000 Fuck!
01:39:59.000 But...
01:40:00.000 First of all, we'll be protected by the praying mantis.
01:40:03.000 Second of all...
01:40:04.000 We need to breed them.
01:40:05.000 The amazing thing that I've been observing during this, we are this living organism.
01:40:14.000 We are more linked than we knew.
01:40:18.000 Everybody seems to be in the same mood at the same time, the same frustrations, the same sadness, the same joys.
01:40:24.000 People are craving being with each other.
01:40:26.000 We are this organism that while we're individuals, we're also part of this bigger hive that feeds off of each other in profound ways.
01:40:35.000 And I don't care what you come up with.
01:40:37.000 We want to see and squeeze and be around and be face-to-face and touch each other.
01:40:44.000 And there is that...
01:40:45.000 That thing is not...
01:40:47.000 It's like asking fish not to swim.
01:40:49.000 We are not built for that.
01:40:51.000 You would have to give us a lobotomy for us to do that.
01:40:54.000 Nah.
01:40:54.000 Yeah.
01:40:55.000 Did you see Ready Player One?
01:40:56.000 Yes.
01:40:57.000 Great movie.
01:40:58.000 It was good.
01:40:58.000 But it's about that.
01:40:59.000 Yeah.
01:40:59.000 It's about this sort of transition to a virtual world that's more...
01:41:03.000 It's more...
01:41:05.000 It's more exciting.
01:41:07.000 It's more captivating.
01:41:08.000 It's more...
01:41:09.000 It doesn't have that thing.
01:41:11.000 It doesn't have that physical thing.
01:41:13.000 You can't satisfy that.
01:41:14.000 I don't know if you're right.
01:41:15.000 Look how we're freaking out.
01:41:16.000 Look how people want to be around each other.
01:41:19.000 Right, but this is now.
01:41:21.000 Yeah, well...
01:41:21.000 As things get better with the virtual world, I think there's a real potential.
01:41:26.000 I think that Ready Player One shit is real.
01:41:29.000 I mean, I think that is going to be the future, whether it's 50 years from now or 150 years from now.
01:41:33.000 Right.
01:41:34.000 There's going to come a time where people can't wait to just plug into this thing and put a helmet on and go into a crazy world where you can skateboard through the fucking stars.
01:41:42.000 Look, I love all that stuff.
01:41:44.000 I invite it.
01:41:45.000 I would love to be a part of it.
01:41:47.000 Yeah, I mean, all that stuff is very exciting, and I see how it's plausible.
01:41:50.000 But there is a biological dimension to this that I think is inescapable.
01:41:57.000 Like, you'd have to do something to the human being to break them down to just be satisfied with that.
01:42:03.000 There'd have to be some component that comes over and...
01:42:06.000 Makes you feel like a hug.
01:42:07.000 Hits that part of your brain that does that thing.
01:42:09.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:42:10.000 That's what they can do in that.
01:42:12.000 Remember in Ready Player One, they had those haptic feedback suits.
01:42:16.000 The girl touches him and he can feel it all over his body.
01:42:18.000 I don't remember that part.
01:42:20.000 I do.
01:42:23.000 I wonder if that's where it's all going to go to.
01:42:27.000 I mean, if you look at how connected we are now to computers and to phones and to your Tesla and all this electronic shit that we have, it's just a matter of time.
01:42:38.000 This stuff's going to accelerate.
01:42:40.000 It's going to get more entrenched in your life.
01:42:42.000 Right.
01:42:43.000 So what's the Elon model?
01:42:46.000 They're creating that for what?
01:42:48.000 Well, first steps is going to be for people that have injuries, where paralysis, they're going to be able to make their body function again, and he actually said even better.
01:43:00.000 Your body would function even better than it did before your spinal cord was severed.
01:43:05.000 You're going to be able to see.
01:43:06.000 People with vision issues are going to be able to fix that.
01:43:09.000 Brain issues, brain trauma, they're going to be able to fix that.
01:43:13.000 That's what the first applications of it's going to be.
01:43:15.000 And then eventually it's going to lead to higher bandwidth access to information.
01:43:22.000 And the way he was saying it, people are going to be much more productive when they're on it.
01:43:26.000 They're going to have it.
01:43:26.000 And it's something you're going to drill a hole in your head and put a fucking cork in there with wires that go into different parts of your brain and fire it up.
01:43:34.000 Will this be done before I'm old?
01:43:36.000 He says like five years.
01:43:37.000 Really?
01:43:37.000 Yeah.
01:43:38.000 That'd be pretty cool.
01:43:39.000 So the first people that try will be people that are injured or people that have ailments.
01:43:47.000 Right.
01:43:48.000 What about people whose knees hurt slightly when he goes upstairs?
01:43:52.000 Stop eating bread.
01:43:53.000 That stuff's making...
01:43:54.000 There's no way!
01:43:55.000 ...causing inflammation.
01:43:56.000 You can never not eat bread?
01:43:58.000 You just bake it and smell it.
01:43:59.000 I could do that.
01:44:00.000 Just only greens and meat.
01:44:01.000 It's so good to eat though.
01:44:03.000 Especially my bread.
01:44:04.000 It's so delicious.
01:44:05.000 Do you think you could only eat bread once a week?
01:44:06.000 You could have a bread day?
01:44:08.000 I could.
01:44:09.000 What if you found out that bread was really bad for you?
01:44:11.000 If you go to a doctor and the doctor says, Tom, here's what's going on.
01:44:14.000 This is where you could be and this is where you are and this is what's holding you back.
01:44:17.000 All this fucking gluten.
01:44:19.000 You're eating this bread and it's fucking with your joints.
01:44:21.000 It's causing arthritis.
01:44:23.000 It's causing your cartilage to break down.
01:44:24.000 You're going to be crippled when you're older.
01:44:26.000 Or you can just have bread.
01:44:28.000 A little bit of mouth pleasure and some butter.
01:44:30.000 Oh, you can't live without it, can you?
01:44:34.000 In this mythical world that you're talking about, this made-up place where bread is bad for you, I guess I could play around, but my bread is good for you.
01:44:43.000 How's it possible?
01:44:44.000 Flour, water, salt, and yeast.
01:44:45.000 It's the only thing that breaks itself down.
01:44:48.000 It's not bad for you.
01:44:49.000 In moderation, it's not bad for you.
01:44:51.000 Oh.
01:44:51.000 Please.
01:44:52.000 Centuries.
01:44:52.000 All the people that made you and all the DNA that had to carry you before you came out.
01:44:58.000 Do you get heirloom wheat flour?
01:45:00.000 On bread.
01:45:00.000 Yep.
01:45:00.000 Do you get heirloom wheat flour?
01:45:01.000 Yeah.
01:45:02.000 Do you really?
01:45:02.000 Yeah.
01:45:03.000 From Utah.
01:45:04.000 From Utah.
01:45:04.000 For real?
01:45:05.000 Mm-hmm.
01:45:06.000 Oh.
01:45:06.000 Utah again.
01:45:07.000 I should just live in Utah.
01:45:08.000 You might have to.
01:45:09.000 Yeah.
01:45:10.000 Because I know when I was in Italy, the pasta you eat does not make you feel fucked up.
01:45:15.000 No, it doesn't.
01:45:16.000 And Maynard, you know, Maynard from Tool?
01:45:18.000 Uh-huh.
01:45:18.000 He was explaining to me that when, you know, because he uses heirloom wheat for his pasta.
01:45:24.000 You know, he owns a couple of restaurants.
01:45:25.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:45:26.000 And he was saying that when human beings started fucking around, particularly in America, with wheat and sort of engineering it for higher yield, they made more complex gluten.
01:45:37.000 There's more glutens in the wheat, and it's a higher yield.
01:45:40.000 So if they have an acre of the old wheat, it would only grow a certain amount of wheat, and it's much more now for an acre of this new wheat.
01:45:47.000 But the problem is our bodies don't know how to digest it properly.
01:45:51.000 Right, right.
01:45:51.000 That's why people develop all these fucking weird gluten intolerance issues that no one had before.
01:45:58.000 Also, when you go over here, everyone's so fat, but if you go to Italy where they eat pasta every day, they're not fat.
01:46:02.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:46:03.000 And, you know, I've said this a thousand times, but the other stuff that's in our bread that you get from the supermarket is making you sick.
01:46:10.000 It shouldn't be 30 ingredients.
01:46:12.000 There should be four ingredients.
01:46:13.000 Flour, water, salt, and yeast.
01:46:15.000 Preservatives?
01:46:15.000 Preservatives, sugars, different variations of sugar.
01:46:19.000 I bought some bread from the farmer's market.
01:46:20.000 It was stale in a day.
01:46:23.000 I bought some bread from the supermarket.
01:46:25.000 I bought it three weeks ago.
01:46:26.000 I had a sandwich the other day.
01:46:27.000 It was great.
01:46:28.000 I know.
01:46:29.000 It's still good.
01:46:30.000 I know.
01:46:31.000 It's crazy.
01:46:31.000 I know.
01:46:32.000 That's not good.
01:46:33.000 It's not good.
01:46:33.000 Well, they're doing all this great stuff.
01:46:35.000 All these farmers are growing wheat that was grown in the region where they farm throughout the centuries.
01:46:42.000 So they're repopulating it with the stuff that was indigenous to that region.
01:46:48.000 Really?
01:46:49.000 Yeah.
01:46:49.000 Does that make it better?
01:46:50.000 Yeah, it makes it better because it's natural.
01:46:51.000 It's just real.
01:46:52.000 What are you doing?
01:46:53.000 Are you going to make me smell it?
01:46:53.000 I'm just going to show it to you.
01:46:55.000 I mean, I've given you a lot of bread.
01:46:57.000 Isn't that the best bread I've ever given you?
01:46:59.000 It smells very good.
01:47:00.000 It's really good.
01:47:01.000 When did you bake this?
01:47:02.000 That came out last night.
01:47:03.000 Oh my God.
01:47:04.000 I can't wait to eat it.
01:47:06.000 Let's let it sit there.
01:47:07.000 So beautiful.
01:47:08.000 It's a masterpiece.
01:47:09.000 Look at that.
01:47:10.000 I mean, I'm getting better.
01:47:12.000 You are.
01:47:12.000 Now, how do you eat your bread?
01:47:14.000 Do you ever put a little Nutella on it?
01:47:16.000 Do you get crazy?
01:47:16.000 No.
01:47:17.000 You know, I gave Ali Wong a loaf of bread during quarantine.
01:47:20.000 I've been bringing bread to my friends, just dropping it off.
01:47:23.000 And her husband put...
01:47:25.000 It looked like...
01:47:27.000 A block of Nutella on it.
01:47:29.000 It was like more Nutella than bread.
01:47:32.000 I have a picture that was going to send to you.
01:47:34.000 So good.
01:47:34.000 Of your bread with Nutella on it.
01:47:35.000 My favorite is...
01:47:37.000 My favorite thing, I like doing lots of different stuff with it, but my favorite is cream cheese and sardines with capers.
01:47:45.000 Goddamn, I like what you're saying right now.
01:47:47.000 Keep talking.
01:47:47.000 It is so good.
01:47:48.000 I'm going to get my pants off.
01:47:50.000 Cream cheese and sardines.
01:47:51.000 That sounds fantastic.
01:47:52.000 Oh, it's so good.
01:47:53.000 And some capers on it.
01:47:55.000 Oh, my God, dude.
01:47:56.000 Here you go.
01:47:57.000 That's your bread with Nutella.
01:47:58.000 Look at that.
01:47:59.000 Oh, that was my bread.
01:48:00.000 Oh, that's Onnit fat butter, actually.
01:48:03.000 That is the Onnit.
01:48:05.000 It's got hazelnut.
01:48:07.000 It's got chocolate.
01:48:10.000 That's actually good.
01:48:11.000 Wow.
01:48:11.000 Good for you, that stuff.
01:48:13.000 Oh, yeah?
01:48:13.000 That's right.
01:48:14.000 I've got to get some of that.
01:48:15.000 Yeah.
01:48:16.000 Ooh, that looks good.
01:48:17.000 Why did I think it was Nutella?
01:48:19.000 That's it before.
01:48:20.000 I got pre and after.
01:48:21.000 Ooh, yeah.
01:48:22.000 It looks so good there.
01:48:22.000 It does look good.
01:48:25.000 It's really good.
01:48:26.000 What's in there?
01:48:27.000 Does it say?
01:48:29.000 Does it say in the post?
01:48:30.000 In the post.
01:48:31.000 Jamie, scroll up.
01:48:35.000 Chocolate hazelnut fat butter.
01:48:37.000 Yeah, baby.
01:48:38.000 Chocolate hazelnut fat butter.
01:48:40.000 That's good for you?
01:48:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:48:42.000 Chocolate hazelnut fat butter.
01:48:44.000 Yes!
01:48:44.000 Don't be a pussy.
01:48:45.000 There's not one word in that.
01:48:46.000 Chocolate hazelnut fat butter.
01:48:48.000 Yeah.
01:48:48.000 Good stuff.
01:48:49.000 Onnit fat butter is a great way to get healthy fats.
01:48:51.000 Oh, man.
01:48:52.000 I love that stuff.
01:48:52.000 I just scoop it out.
01:48:54.000 Not usually the chocolate stuff, but they're different.
01:48:56.000 We have a bunch of different fat butters.
01:48:58.000 Right.
01:48:58.000 I scoop it out with spoons.
01:49:00.000 Ooh, that's good.
01:49:01.000 Because it's healthy calories.
01:49:02.000 If you want a snack and you don't want to feel like a loser, just eat some of that.
01:49:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:49:07.000 Now, I think back to what you were saying originally, would I be able to stop if they told me?
01:49:11.000 I think, you know, you can't eat carbs all the time and feel good.
01:49:16.000 Right.
01:49:16.000 You can't.
01:49:17.000 I can't.
01:49:19.000 Tony Hinchcliffe can.
01:49:20.000 Tony Hinchcliffe weighs 18 pounds.
01:49:22.000 He eats pasta all day.
01:49:24.000 He's like a hummingbird.
01:49:25.000 He really is.
01:49:26.000 He just burns it off.
01:49:27.000 Frank Mance is going to rip his head off.
01:49:29.000 When he was on the podcast, he was joking around about it.
01:49:31.000 People would be so angry at me if they saw how I eat.
01:49:34.000 That's funny.
01:49:34.000 Because he's so slim.
01:49:35.000 He's so tiny.
01:49:36.000 He doesn't even have a hint of a gut.
01:49:37.000 No, nothing.
01:49:39.000 It's true, too.
01:49:40.000 I've eaten with him after shows.
01:49:41.000 That fucking kid can eat.
01:49:43.000 Really?
01:49:43.000 Yeah.
01:49:44.000 That's annoying.
01:49:44.000 Tony throws down.
01:49:46.000 Oh, that's annoying.
01:49:46.000 That man has an appetite.
01:49:48.000 He's not fucking around.
01:49:49.000 Yeah, it is annoying because he's got a fantastic genetic makeup in terms of being able to lose weight.
01:49:57.000 Or not gain weight, I should say.
01:49:58.000 He's never had to lose any weight.
01:50:00.000 But on the other hand, he can't gain any weight either.
01:50:02.000 I brought him lifting weights and that's as hilarious as his diet.
01:50:07.000 Yeah.
01:50:10.000 Okay, I'm sorry to bring up an old subject, which I'm sure you've talked about a ton, but I've been working out more during quarantine than I have in the last five years.
01:50:20.000 What have you been doing?
01:50:21.000 And I've been doing the Peloton for cardio.
01:50:24.000 Cool.
01:50:25.000 Because I don't want to run around.
01:50:26.000 That's a good move.
01:50:27.000 It's really good.
01:50:27.000 I really love it.
01:50:29.000 I haven't skipped.
01:50:29.000 It's really great.
01:50:30.000 And then I have these dumbbells, you know, the adjustable gnawless ones?
01:50:35.000 Sure, yeah, yeah.
01:50:36.000 I've been using those and doing those weights in the middle.
01:50:39.000 But everything I see online is all kettlebell all the time.
01:50:45.000 Is it that much better?
01:50:46.000 I've never worked out with a kettlebell in my life.
01:50:48.000 Well, you certainly can get a great workout with dumbbells.
01:50:50.000 You can.
01:50:51.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:50:51.000 I mean, it feels great.
01:50:52.000 But I can show you how to use a kettlebell and you can get an understanding of why so many people like it after the podcast.
01:50:58.000 Yeah.
01:50:59.000 They're really versatile.
01:51:00.000 Yeah.
01:51:01.000 And the fact that you're swinging them, you're using a lot of your whole body, you're using your legs, you're using your core, and when you're balancing them, you're You're tightening your core, you're using your spine and your shoulders and your arms.
01:51:17.000 I love them, but I've loved them for a long time.
01:51:20.000 I just think it's a great exercise for functional strength, meaning like when I lift a lot of kettlebells and I do it a lot, I feel like when I do martial arts, I have more strength.
01:51:31.000 I move better, my legs move better, my body moves better.
01:51:35.000 Because you have to use everything, like, say if you're doing what Steve Maxwell would call a man-maker, I think that's like clean, press, squat, it might have renegade rows in there as well,
01:51:50.000 but the sequences of movements, right?
01:51:53.000 You do these, like, you could burn yourself out really quick on these sequences of movements.
01:51:58.000 Right, because the dumbbells are isolating.
01:51:59.000 They're good.
01:52:00.000 No, you can do cleans and presses and stuff with dumbbells.
01:52:03.000 Yeah.
01:52:04.000 It's just not the best thing for windmills or for some other kind of exercise that you can do with the kettlebells.
01:52:10.000 Kettlebells are just really, really versatile.
01:52:12.000 But it's hard to get one right now.
01:52:14.000 Everybody sold out when the quarantine hit.
01:52:15.000 Onnit, we're still sold out.
01:52:17.000 Oh, really?
01:52:17.000 Yeah, we have a big sale that's going on right now at Onnit, but we don't have a sale through the whole month.
01:52:22.000 But the kettlebell sale doesn't kick in until the last week of the month because we don't even have them in stock.
01:52:29.000 Wow.
01:52:29.000 They just sold out?
01:52:30.000 We sold out so quick and it's hard to get them right now because a lot of these places that manufacture them are shut down because of the quarantine.
01:52:37.000 So they couldn't restock them for us.
01:52:39.000 I wonder if now that sporting good places are open in LA, you can probably get stuff there.
01:52:44.000 Maybe.
01:52:45.000 But where are they getting it from?
01:52:46.000 Yeah.
01:52:47.000 Whatever they had in stock before.
01:52:49.000 All these companies are out.
01:52:50.000 I know Rogue hired another company stateside, I believe in Rhode Island, to start making their kettlebells because they were getting a lot of their kettlebells overseas.
01:53:01.000 And, you know, just like fucking everything's shutting down, man.
01:53:04.000 Right, right, right.
01:53:05.000 Yeah, they got to open it up.
01:53:07.000 But once you get them, there's so many great workouts that you could find online.
01:53:14.000 Keith Weber is a great resource.
01:53:16.000 He's a guy that I've talked about.
01:53:18.000 He's been on the podcast before, but he's got this great extreme kettlebell cardio workout that you could just use one 35-pound kettlebell and you get an amazing, amazing workout.
01:53:28.000 Wow.
01:53:29.000 Yeah, that'd be cool.
01:53:30.000 I mean, just to vary it up, because we've been doing it for like two months or something.
01:53:34.000 I want to go somewhere.
01:53:35.000 I want to go to a yoga class.
01:53:37.000 I miss that.
01:53:37.000 Yeah, I know.
01:53:39.000 I miss being in a class with people.
01:53:41.000 I miss jujitsu.
01:53:42.000 Oh, that's got to be driving you crazy.
01:53:44.000 I miss everything.
01:53:45.000 You can't wrestle around.
01:53:46.000 The biggest thing I miss is comedy.
01:53:48.000 Oh, 100%.
01:53:49.000 It's such a weird thing.
01:53:52.000 I think I talked about this with you on the phone, that It's not even like, oh, I just miss being up.
01:53:58.000 You slowly start to change.
01:54:01.000 I slowly go inward.
01:54:03.000 I feel like when I'm writing a lot, I get more insulated.
01:54:07.000 I get more to myself.
01:54:08.000 I feel like that just socially.
01:54:10.000 When I'm not performing, I'm crawling inside.
01:54:12.000 You mean when you're writing, you're doing great, which is available right now?
01:54:15.000 Yes.
01:54:15.000 Everywhere, wherever books are sold?
01:54:17.000 It'll make you feel good.
01:54:18.000 It'll make you feel good.
01:54:21.000 Yeah, when I'm doing that, no joke, when I'm isolated and I'm in there cranking it out, I get a little different.
01:54:28.000 But then I could go out at night and be out and it resets it.
01:54:32.000 And this is now, being in quarantine is like I'm writing the book without having...
01:54:37.000 Any outlet.
01:54:38.000 Yeah, we miss that clubhouse environment.
01:54:41.000 I mean, the comedy store is a place where it's like all these comics that travel all over the country.
01:54:47.000 We get together and be with our own tribe, you know?
01:54:50.000 Yeah, it's a big part of it.
01:54:51.000 I know.
01:54:52.000 It is a big part of it.
01:54:53.000 And now we're not even supposed to be...
01:54:54.000 I mean, people were at the beginning of this podcast like, why are you allowed to do that?
01:54:59.000 Like, they were saying I shouldn't even be allowed to do this.
01:55:01.000 Right.
01:55:02.000 Even if I was testing everybody.
01:55:03.000 I'm like, just look.
01:55:04.000 Yeah.
01:55:06.000 But I think it's also because people are out of work and they're like, why do you get to work?
01:55:09.000 Like, you know, it seems...
01:55:11.000 Right, right.
01:55:11.000 But why does anybody get to tell you you can't work?
01:55:13.000 That's what the real question should be.
01:55:14.000 Yeah, no kidding.
01:55:15.000 That's the real question.
01:55:16.000 Right, exactly.
01:55:17.000 I know.
01:55:18.000 You've got to get people back to work.
01:55:19.000 That's that thing.
01:55:20.000 That balance.
01:55:21.000 And it's like, I think we've gone pretty far that one way.
01:55:24.000 Yeah.
01:55:24.000 And now you're going to really start hurting people.
01:55:26.000 Utah doesn't give a fuck.
01:55:27.000 They're like, let's go!
01:55:28.000 Well, in controlled ways.
01:55:30.000 Texas, let's go!
01:55:30.000 But, you know, they're not being mindless about it.
01:55:32.000 They're not being irresponsible.
01:55:33.000 Look at this.
01:55:34.000 They're not saying, come out, old people.
01:55:35.000 California State University campuses to remain closed through fall semester.
01:55:40.000 You fucks.
01:55:42.000 They're gonna make California just a bunch of just veal.
01:55:45.000 We're gonna be veal over here.
01:55:48.000 The whole rest of the country is going to be out there getting that herd immunity.
01:55:52.000 I wonder if they're going to charge you, like if you go to...
01:55:56.000 All classes, 500,000 kids.
01:55:59.000 They're just students, I should say.
01:56:00.000 Online?
01:56:00.000 Yeah.
01:56:01.000 Online, though.
01:56:02.000 Fuck off.
01:56:02.000 I wonder if they'll still charge you full tuition and put it online.
01:56:06.000 Of course they will.
01:56:07.000 Ugh.
01:56:08.000 Of course they will.
01:56:09.000 Dude, fuck off with all this.
01:56:11.000 If I was going to college right now and I found out that this was California, I would switch.
01:56:15.000 I'd be like, I'm getting out of here.
01:56:17.000 100%.
01:56:17.000 My daughter's not going to find out until July.
01:56:19.000 You have to go move and play out-of-state tuition fees at another school now, because it's like state schools, so that's an option for a lot of people.
01:56:27.000 I would move.
01:56:27.000 Oh, that's brutal.
01:56:29.000 Fuck it, I'm going to Texas.
01:56:30.000 Wouldn't you?
01:56:32.000 I probably wouldn't be going to college right now.
01:56:34.000 My daughter's going to go East Coast and she's not going to find out for a while.
01:56:37.000 For mental health, I think it's terrible for kids to be sitting in front of a fucking computer all day doing school with no friends around and not being able to mingle and have a good time.
01:56:45.000 That's what my daughters call it.
01:56:46.000 School with no friends.
01:56:49.000 It's awful.
01:56:50.000 This might lead to no football.
01:56:52.000 For the fall, because if these kids can't be on campus, then they're not going to be playing the games then.
01:56:59.000 Meanwhile, China, they're all spitting in each other's mouths and lifting weights.
01:57:04.000 They're getting ready to take over.
01:57:06.000 Yeah, that's a good point, Jamie, because then...
01:57:09.000 They don't just play California schools.
01:57:11.000 They play the rest of the country.
01:57:12.000 I was just looking up the Big Ten, which is where Ohio State plays.
01:57:16.000 There's a discussion of maybe just having an all-in-conference schedule so teams don't have to fly.
01:57:22.000 They can just drive buses.
01:57:23.000 I wonder how Vegas is going to handle it because, like I said, my friend Nick, his restaurant opened up at half capacity.
01:57:29.000 I have a show in Vegas that sold out at that park theater, whatever the fuck that is.
01:57:36.000 One next to the July.
01:57:38.000 July?
01:57:39.000 First weekend in July.
01:57:40.000 You've done outside comedy before.
01:57:42.000 Do you think that's a potential?
01:57:44.000 I don't enjoy it.
01:57:45.000 The audience likes it, we don't like it.
01:57:47.000 Yeah, it's okay.
01:57:49.000 It's okay.
01:57:50.000 I mean, I did one in Mountain View in San Francisco this past year.
01:57:55.000 I did one in Salt Lake too.
01:57:56.000 This is not as good.
01:57:58.000 Dave and I did one in Salt Lake.
01:57:59.000 The energy just goes up into the sky.
01:58:01.000 You don't get to really feel it.
01:58:02.000 It's not really that good.
01:58:04.000 It's pretty good up in the sky.
01:58:05.000 Oh jeez, there it goes.
01:58:07.000 I've seen some drive-in things that have popped up in the last couple weeks.
01:58:11.000 I don't know how successful they've been.
01:58:12.000 Music, right?
01:58:13.000 EDM, and then I think a couple comedians have tried to do a parking lot comedy or something.
01:58:18.000 Yeah.
01:58:18.000 My wife kept saying that I should do drive-in comedy.
01:58:21.000 She's like, do it before anyone else gets the idea.
01:58:23.000 She's like, yeah, you should go do drive-in comedy.
01:58:25.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:58:26.000 I know.
01:58:27.000 She is kind of over me.
01:58:29.000 Yeah, people find out whether or not you really like somebody.
01:58:31.000 Yeah.
01:58:32.000 Tom's not going to have anything.
01:58:32.000 No, I'm okay.
01:58:33.000 He's terrified.
01:58:34.000 I'm not terrified.
01:58:35.000 I love it.
01:58:35.000 A little horrified.
01:58:36.000 I have to do two more things after this.
01:58:38.000 What are you going to do?
01:58:40.000 NPR, KPCC. Both those things.
01:58:42.000 Pot would help both of us.
01:58:43.000 It's true.
01:58:44.000 Then I got to drive my car home.
01:58:45.000 Let the car drive yourself.
01:58:47.000 It does drive itself.
01:58:48.000 It smells so good though.
01:58:49.000 Do you want some?
01:58:50.000 Little?
01:58:50.000 Just a little baby.
01:58:51.000 No.
01:58:51.000 No?
01:58:51.000 Okay.
01:58:52.000 Forget it.
01:58:53.000 The new driving option, the Tesla one that you have to pay for, have you done that?
01:58:59.000 The what?
01:58:59.000 Self-driving thing.
01:59:00.000 This new update that came up that you actually pay for.
01:59:03.000 No, I didn't see that.
01:59:05.000 Yeah, there was a new one that came out.
01:59:07.000 You have to pay for it?
01:59:07.000 Yeah, like $4,000.
01:59:09.000 What?
01:59:10.000 Oh, maybe my car isn't equipped for it.
01:59:12.000 What year's your car?
01:59:13.000 It's, what are we, 2020?
01:59:16.000 It's probably 2015. Oh, it's a piece of shit.
01:59:21.000 It probably barely has any batteries.
01:59:24.000 It's got great batteries.
01:59:25.000 It dies real quick, right?
01:59:27.000 No.
01:59:27.000 Come on.
01:59:27.000 How fast does it go?
01:59:28.000 Slow as shit.
01:59:29.000 Faster than I need it to.
01:59:30.000 No.
01:59:31.000 Yes!
01:59:32.000 Impossible.
01:59:32.000 It's a killer.
01:59:33.000 You should have the new one.
01:59:34.000 I should have the new one.
01:59:36.000 This is ridiculous.
01:59:36.000 This is outrageous.
01:59:38.000 You're right.
01:59:39.000 You're right.
01:59:39.000 I should update, but I think I'm probably missing some hardware, though.
01:59:43.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:59:44.000 For that.
01:59:45.000 What does it do?
01:59:46.000 I don't know if I haven't tried it yet.
01:59:49.000 Tesla's latest self-driving visualization comes to life in this impressive picture.
01:59:54.000 Oh, so it shows the cones.
01:59:56.000 That's interesting.
01:59:57.000 Oh.
01:59:58.000 Yeah, because it's...
01:59:59.000 Oh, so it'll stop for things that...
02:00:01.000 Oh, so someone with a stop sign?
02:00:02.000 Wow, that's crazy.
02:00:04.000 It shows the stop sign.
02:00:05.000 It reads the stop sign.
02:00:07.000 Will it stop for traffic lights?
02:00:08.000 That's the thing that mine does not do.
02:00:10.000 I don't think it does that yet.
02:00:12.000 Well, then I'm not interested.
02:00:13.000 Then it's a lemon.
02:00:16.000 Tesla's autopilot...
02:00:17.000 Go back to that?
02:00:19.000 On V9, shows great improvements when it comes to rendering the surroundings on the screen, but I'm often getting these weird bugs when stopped or at low speeds.
02:00:27.000 Play that.
02:00:28.000 Let's see what that does.
02:00:29.000 What's the weird bug?
02:00:31.000 Weird bugs.
02:00:33.000 Oh, people are just like moving around like ghosts and shit.
02:00:36.000 There's no one there.
02:00:38.000 Oh, that's weird.
02:00:39.000 Yeah.
02:00:40.000 Well, it's all electronics.
02:00:42.000 But then, have you heard of any viruses infecting Teslas?
02:00:45.000 No.
02:00:46.000 Maybe I shouldn't have put that out there.
02:00:49.000 Dude!
02:00:49.000 Huh?
02:00:50.000 Have you heard?
02:00:52.000 Dude!
02:00:53.000 I mean, I'm sure someone must have thought about it already.
02:00:56.000 Yeah, I'm sure they've been trying to crack in.
02:00:58.000 I'm not the guy who's going to be the first one to think that up.
02:01:00.000 Yeah.
02:01:01.000 No, I think...
02:01:03.000 Yeah, but there's certain things, there's like certain modes and stuff so that people don't mess with it.
02:01:09.000 Like a mode like to kind of shut off the computer.
02:01:13.000 Yeah, and there's sentry mode too, right?
02:01:15.000 Right.
02:01:15.000 How many people have caught keying in them?
02:01:17.000 Oh, really?
02:01:18.000 Yeah, it's so weird, man.
02:01:21.000 People look around, no one's around, like, scratch the shit out of someone's car.
02:01:24.000 Why would you do that?
02:01:25.000 Because they're angry.
02:01:27.000 That's ridiculous.
02:01:28.000 It's usually people that they don't even know the person.
02:01:30.000 Right.
02:01:30.000 They just decide this is a nice car.
02:01:32.000 They see this sweet Model 3 sitting there and just walk by with keys and scratch the shit out of it.
02:01:37.000 What are they in Warriors, the movie?
02:01:40.000 I think that's why Elon made those Cybertrucks, like, bulletproof.
02:01:44.000 It's got to be a way.
02:01:45.000 Got to fix this.
02:01:46.000 Got to fix it?
02:01:47.000 Yeah.
02:01:47.000 And we're going to do it?
02:01:49.000 Make it all in a sheet metal steel.
02:01:52.000 They do have some sort of hacking competition to look for bugs.
02:01:57.000 A group of hackers won a Tesla Model 3 and a $35,000 prize for hacking into its systems.
02:02:05.000 A Matt Kama and Richard Zhu, I hope I'm saying that right, of a team called Fluoroacetate.
02:02:14.000 Exposed to vulnerability in the vehicle system during the hacking competition.
02:02:18.000 The hackers targeted the infotainment.
02:02:21.000 That's a weird fake word.
02:02:23.000 Infotainment.
02:02:23.000 Which is it?
02:02:25.000 Is it information or is it entertainment?
02:02:27.000 That's ridiculous.
02:02:28.000 How about media system?
02:02:29.000 How about the radio?
02:02:31.000 I don't like that infotainment word.
02:02:33.000 Infotainment.
02:02:34.000 It gets thrown around like a real word.
02:02:36.000 We have plenty of words that cover both of those things.
02:02:40.000 No new word needed here.
02:02:43.000 We don't need to make hybrid words.
02:02:45.000 It just seems like a weird time.
02:02:48.000 How'd we get on the Tesla we were talking about?
02:02:51.000 Talking about your car driving itself if you got high.
02:02:54.000 Oh, if I got high, right?
02:02:55.000 See, my memory's strong, even with the weed.
02:02:58.000 That's rare, though.
02:02:59.000 It's very unreliable.
02:03:00.000 My memory's super unreliable when I'm high.
02:03:03.000 Yeah, no kidding, I know.
02:03:04.000 Sometimes it's great, though.
02:03:05.000 Sometimes I could pull things out of, you know...
02:03:07.000 Out of the deep.
02:03:08.000 Yeah.
02:03:09.000 Right, exactly.
02:03:09.000 What's with all these old boxers coming back?
02:03:13.000 Evander Holyfield is coming back now, too.
02:03:15.000 What?
02:03:15.000 Yes.
02:03:16.000 Have you seen the Mike Tyson video?
02:03:17.000 He's like 65. Mike Tyson's coming back.
02:03:20.000 What?
02:03:21.000 Yes.
02:03:21.000 You haven't seen?
02:03:22.000 Dude.
02:03:23.000 No.
02:03:23.000 Okay.
02:03:23.000 Go to Mike Tyson's page for his most recent video on his Instagram.
02:03:27.000 Get ready for this.
02:03:28.000 Oh, really?
02:03:29.000 Get ready for this, because he looks fucking sensational.
02:03:32.000 What is he, 55?
02:03:33.000 53. I think.
02:03:35.000 Yeah?
02:03:35.000 I think he's a year older than I am.
02:03:36.000 I'm 52. But he looks fucking incredible.
02:03:40.000 Really?
02:03:41.000 Terrifying.
02:03:41.000 Yeah.
02:03:42.000 He was so terrible.
02:03:43.000 Was there anything more exciting than his fights?
02:03:46.000 They were a cultural event.
02:03:48.000 Oh my God.
02:03:50.000 So exciting.
02:03:51.000 The only concern was that you were going to spend money and you weren't going to get it back.
02:03:54.000 Look at this.
02:03:55.000 Right.
02:03:55.000 You needed volume so you can hear this too.
02:03:59.000 Whoa.
02:04:03.000 I mean, what in the fuck, dude?
02:04:05.000 Oh my God.
02:04:07.000 Dude, he looks like old...
02:04:11.000 I'm back.
02:04:12.000 You know what's really funny?
02:04:13.000 He said on the podcast when he was in here, he said he didn't want to work out again because his ego would get fired up again.
02:04:20.000 And he's actually said that in his post that my ego had been reignited.
02:04:25.000 Does that mean his rage?
02:04:26.000 No.
02:04:27.000 See if you can find it.
02:04:28.000 That his ego would be...
02:04:30.000 Because he's like being Zen and doesn't want to...
02:04:33.000 He gave a statement about it saying that like his ego has been reignited.
02:04:39.000 Good for him.
02:04:41.000 Yeah.
02:04:41.000 Good for us.
02:04:42.000 He said something about how the gods of war have brought him out again.
02:04:47.000 It was like really heavy-duty shit.
02:04:49.000 I think it's real recent.
02:04:50.000 Real recent.
02:04:51.000 Wow.
02:04:52.000 See if you can find the quote.
02:04:53.000 But it was like, oh my god.
02:04:54.000 When you were with him.
02:04:55.000 The gods of war have reignited my ego.
02:04:57.000 Oh my god.
02:04:58.000 And I'm ready to go again.
02:04:59.000 Yeah.
02:05:00.000 Jeez.
02:05:00.000 He's gonna fight.
02:05:01.000 How do you think he'd fare against a 28-year-old?
02:05:04.000 I don't know.
02:05:05.000 It depends on the 28-year-old.
02:05:06.000 But I think that you for sure need a guy who's really good at fighting to keep him off you.
02:05:15.000 Even if you're in your 20s.
02:05:16.000 Here, Mike Tyson explains his desire to fight again.
02:05:19.000 I feel unstoppable now.
02:05:21.000 The gods of war have reawakened me.
02:05:23.000 And he said something about his ego firing up.
02:05:26.000 See if you can find that quote.
02:05:27.000 He was so deadly.
02:05:28.000 Because that was one of the things that he actually talked about in the podcast.
02:05:32.000 Yeah, the gods of war have awakened me.
02:05:35.000 They've reignited my ego and want me to go to war again.
02:05:39.000 Holy shit, that's so terrifying!
02:05:41.000 That's so terrifying!
02:05:44.000 Here's the thing, man.
02:05:45.000 If they don't drug test them, They don't test him for hormones.
02:05:50.000 Things are way different.
02:05:53.000 What do you mean?
02:05:54.000 Because if he takes hormones, if he's taking testosterone and growth hormone, thyroid hormone, all the things that people do when they take hormone replacement therapy, your body functions way better at a way later age.
02:06:07.000 It's different.
02:06:08.000 It's very different.
02:06:09.000 If we're talking about being a 53-year-old man in 1985, there's no chance.
02:06:15.000 Everybody fell apart.
02:06:17.000 You'd have to be a really, really, really rare person who doesn't take hormones and can perform like a 30-year-old when you're in your 50s.
02:06:27.000 But when you're on hormones...
02:06:28.000 You can kind of do it.
02:06:30.000 There's a few guys that were in the UFC. One of the bigger examples is Vitor Belfort.
02:06:36.000 Vitor Belfort, who's a phenomenal fighter, a real legend.
02:06:40.000 He won the first tournament that I ever worked on.
02:06:44.000 That was at UFC 12 in 1997. So he was 19 years old back then.
02:06:50.000 And then when he was in his late 30s, he had a giant resurgence.
02:06:54.000 And it was when they made testosterone replacement therapy legal for fighters.
02:07:01.000 So there was a bunch of fighters that got on these testosterone replacement therapy exemptions.
02:07:09.000 So they're taking testosterone, but they had an old man's brain.
02:07:13.000 But their body moved like a younger man.
02:07:15.000 So it's basically they had all of the experience of a lifetime of fighting, but because of the hormones, their body actually performed like someone way, way younger than them.
02:07:23.000 Like how much younger do you think?
02:07:25.000 I don't know.
02:07:25.000 It depends on the body.
02:07:26.000 It depends on what kind of damage you're dealing with, what's wrong with you, whether or not it can bring you back 10 years or five years or who knows.
02:07:33.000 But with these fighters, the thing is they were never really out of shape.
02:07:36.000 And some of them, there's quite a few of them, in fact, and I'm not going to name any names, but some of them needed those hormones because they had done steroids.
02:07:44.000 So when you do steroids, it shuts down your endocrine system.
02:07:46.000 Your endocrine system doesn't make the proper hormones anymore.
02:07:49.000 And so they needed...
02:07:52.000 It was a real weird sort of conundrum because everyone kind of knew this, but there was a weird loophole that went on for a few years.
02:07:59.000 It was a real gray area in MMA. And so say a fighter could go to the doctor and say, hey, I want to get a blood test and see what my testosterone levels are because I am feeling very tired.
02:08:11.000 And they look at it and they test.
02:08:12.000 They go, oh, look at this.
02:08:13.000 Your testosterone levels are low.
02:08:16.000 You could take this hormone and inject it into your body every week.
02:08:22.000 Now you're eligible for testosterone replacement therapy.
02:08:26.000 But the thing is...
02:08:28.000 They might have, like, the whole reason why they needed it in the first place might have been that they were using it illegally.
02:08:34.000 So it's a weird thing you're rewarding because the testing wasn't very good.
02:08:38.000 And some of these guys that are a part of this, were a part of this testosterone replacement therapy thing, they were ones that were kind of accused of possibly using performance-enhancing drugs in the past.
02:08:51.000 So then they get to use them legally.
02:08:53.000 Right, yeah.
02:08:54.000 And Vitor, dude, I'm telling you, everyone in the MMA community would talk about TRT Vitor.
02:08:59.000 Because TRT Vitor was a guy who was in his 30s, he'd been fighting a long fucking time, but all of a sudden he was moving like a demon again and just smashing people.
02:09:08.000 Right.
02:09:09.000 You ever see him fight?
02:09:10.000 No.
02:09:11.000 Do me a favor, pull up Vitor Belfort versus Luke Rockhold.
02:09:15.000 Because that was one of the perfect examples.
02:09:17.000 And they're fighting, I don't know if it was in Brazil or what, but Vitor had muscles on his teeth when he was weighing in for that fight.
02:09:24.000 It was crazy.
02:09:26.000 And he just blitzkrieged Luke Rockhold.
02:09:28.000 And it was okay to do.
02:09:29.000 It was legal.
02:09:30.000 What he was doing was legal.
02:09:32.000 And then it took a while before everybody went, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
02:09:38.000 What the fuck?
02:09:39.000 What's going on?
02:09:40.000 This is not...
02:09:40.000 We can't do this.
02:09:41.000 And so then the UFC went the whole other way.
02:09:44.000 And they brought in USADA. The US Anti-Doping Agency now handles everything.
02:09:49.000 And they randomly test fighters in the middle of the night.
02:09:51.000 And people get popped for stuff all the time.
02:09:53.000 Oh, really?
02:09:53.000 Yeah, they're really strict, man.
02:09:55.000 Do you think they should be?
02:09:55.000 Calvin Gaslam just got popped for marijuana.
02:09:58.000 They have a pretty liberal range.
02:10:00.000 It's a pretty generous range that you can have.
02:10:02.000 So watch this.
02:10:03.000 First of all, look at Vitor.
02:10:04.000 He's the one in the red.
02:10:05.000 Yeah.
02:10:05.000 Just fucking shred it.
02:10:07.000 Now watch this wheel kick.
02:10:08.000 Check this out.
02:10:09.000 Set it up.
02:10:10.000 Bang!
02:10:12.000 Dude, dude, fucking Vitor, when he was on the TRT, was one of the scariest guys that ever lived.
02:10:19.000 Look at his back, up into his traps.
02:10:19.000 Yeah, look at him.
02:10:20.000 Oh my god.
02:10:21.000 Yeah, dudes avoided the fuck out of him.
02:10:23.000 Look at this wheelchair.
02:10:24.000 Oh god.
02:10:25.000 Dude.
02:10:26.000 It's like a pit bull.
02:10:27.000 Oh my goodness.
02:10:28.000 He looked like a demon.
02:10:29.000 He looked like a demon back then.
02:10:31.000 There's a few of his fights from that era that were just absolutely terrifying.
02:10:36.000 Do you think that it should be that strict against these drugs in the fighting?
02:10:42.000 Yes.
02:10:42.000 It should, yeah.
02:10:42.000 It's because it's competition.
02:10:43.000 Keep it pure, yeah.
02:10:44.000 Yeah, it's not for your health.
02:10:48.000 I mean, I take testosterone replacement.
02:10:49.000 I think for your health, it's a good move when you get older.
02:10:51.000 It makes your body work better.
02:10:52.000 But for fighting, there's a weird gray area.
02:10:56.000 Like, when should it be legal?
02:10:58.000 Yeah.
02:10:58.000 You're going to let people take it after they're 45?
02:11:00.000 Right.
02:11:01.000 My point is, if they don't test Tyson and Holyfield and all these guys for testosterone replacement and growth, we might see some crazy shots.
02:11:11.000 We might see some great fights.
02:11:13.000 Some fun pay-per-view.
02:11:15.000 I do not know.
02:11:16.000 Maybe he's not on anything, and maybe he's just a special athlete.
02:11:20.000 Lord knows, Herschel Walker was.
02:11:22.000 Herschel Walker was a guy who fought in Strikeforce after he played in the NFL and was really successful.
02:11:30.000 It was terrifying.
02:11:30.000 People were avoiding him.
02:11:32.000 People that were lifelong martial artists were like, fuck that guy.
02:11:35.000 Because he was a super athlete.
02:11:36.000 And obviously Mike Tyson was a super athlete when he was young.
02:11:40.000 No one when they're 20 usually can move like that.
02:11:43.000 And here he is, 53, moving like a world champ, throwing bombs.
02:11:48.000 Again, it's only on the pads.
02:11:49.000 We don't know what happens if he spars.
02:11:52.000 But still, you're like the praying mantis if he makes the first move.
02:11:57.000 You have to...
02:11:57.000 He's going to rip your head off.
02:11:59.000 You have to look at that and go, look, look, look, look.
02:12:01.000 Let's not get crazy.
02:12:02.000 Look how fast he's going!
02:12:03.000 I know.
02:12:04.000 Look how scary he is!
02:12:05.000 That's what makes us think of Mike Tyson when he was in his prom.
02:12:09.000 Oh, when he'd come out, no socks.
02:12:10.000 Oh, my God.
02:12:11.000 Just those leathers.
02:12:12.000 Dude, my favorite ever was the Marvis Frazier fight because it was really like an execution.
02:12:17.000 Yeah.
02:12:18.000 Marvis Frazier also was a really good fighter and was Joe Frazier's son.
02:12:22.000 Yeah.
02:12:22.000 And you knew what was going to happen.
02:12:25.000 In like 20 seconds.
02:12:27.000 Tyson was just...
02:12:28.000 He was a different thing, man.
02:12:29.000 Yeah.
02:12:30.000 He just came into the ring.
02:12:32.000 We'd never seen a boxer like him before.
02:12:34.000 No.
02:12:34.000 Where it was just like every fight was an execution.
02:12:36.000 It was brutal.
02:12:37.000 It was brutal.
02:12:40.000 No frills, no nothing.
02:12:42.000 No socks, no robe most of the time.
02:12:47.000 Just coming to the ring.
02:12:49.000 Sometimes he had a towel around his neck.
02:12:50.000 Sometimes he didn't even have that.
02:12:52.000 God, he wasn't going to be there long.
02:12:53.000 No, man.
02:12:54.000 And you would see the look in the guy's eyes when you would see him across the ring like, oh my god, what the fuck did I sign up for?
02:13:00.000 So exciting.
02:13:01.000 When you were with him when he was here, do you feel like this is still a menacing physical guy?
02:13:08.000 Or did you feel like...
02:13:09.000 Well, he's real nice.
02:13:11.000 Yeah, I know.
02:13:12.000 He's a real nice guy, but he's still...
02:13:14.000 But you still have that, you know, guys that were tough in their youth, you still feel that thing.
02:13:19.000 Oh, yeah, but he's terrifying.
02:13:20.000 Yeah.
02:13:22.000 Who said it best?
02:13:23.000 What was the UFC fighter that was saying, like, it's like hanging out with a...
02:13:26.000 Oh, was it Kevin Lee?
02:13:27.000 I think it was Kevin Lee.
02:13:29.000 Yeah.
02:13:29.000 It sounds like something Kevin would say.
02:13:32.000 He goes, it's like you're next to a lion.
02:13:36.000 And he's like, oh yeah, that's Mike Tyson.
02:13:40.000 Like, that way to describe it is the perfect way to describe being around him.
02:13:44.000 That's perfect.
02:13:45.000 You just want him to like you.
02:13:46.000 Right.
02:13:46.000 You want to be nice to him.
02:13:48.000 Be cool, be cool.
02:13:49.000 And you can't believe he's here.
02:13:51.000 Yeah.
02:13:51.000 You know, he's here.
02:13:52.000 No, it's like a mythical figure sitting next to you.
02:13:54.000 Dude, he asked me about fighting.
02:13:56.000 Like, what did I ever do?
02:13:57.000 And I've never felt more like a fraud in my life.
02:13:59.000 Just tell him about the stupid shit that I've done.
02:14:01.000 I did little Taekwondo tournaments and had a couple kickboxing fights.
02:14:05.000 I felt like such a bitch.
02:14:07.000 I could feel it.
02:14:08.000 I could feel it in the air.
02:14:11.000 He's a cultural icon.
02:14:14.000 If you stop and think about it, from our generation, to be around him is like, what?
02:14:19.000 Are you a real thing?
02:14:20.000 You're right here?
02:14:21.000 It's like being with Thor or Zeus.
02:14:23.000 Really?
02:14:24.000 It's like, oh, you came out of the sky and you're talking to me now.
02:14:28.000 He was a legend.
02:14:29.000 He's going to fight someone and they don't have a fight scheduled, but also Evander Holyfield.
02:14:34.000 Go to Evander Holyfield's YouTube.
02:14:36.000 I'm thinking he doesn't look as fast.
02:14:39.000 Nope, he doesn't, but he still looks good.
02:14:42.000 I'm sorry, his Instagram, not his YouTube.
02:14:44.000 His Instagram, he posted this video of him throwing punches, and he said, this is me at 60%.
02:14:50.000 Who wants to see 70%?
02:14:52.000 I've been doing this my whole life.
02:14:53.000 Yeah.
02:14:54.000 It was interesting because as a person who's a giant boxing fan, and I am, I see what Holyfield's doing.
02:15:00.000 What Holyfield's doing is he saw the Mike Tyson thing.
02:15:03.000 He saw Mike Tyson looking amazing, and then that fire just got Click!
02:15:08.000 Got turned on, and he's doing it slow and deliberate.
02:15:12.000 So here he is, like, running, shadowboxing, and then there's videos of him.
02:15:18.000 He's jumping rope again, doing sit-ups.
02:15:20.000 He's in good shape.
02:15:21.000 Oh, dude, he was in great shape when he was here.
02:15:23.000 But look at this.
02:15:25.000 Shadowboxing, and then there's a video of him.
02:15:28.000 That looks pretty good.
02:15:30.000 Let me go to all the videos.
02:15:32.000 Did I mention I've been doing the dumbbells?
02:15:35.000 I think it's that...
02:15:38.000 That's not it.
02:15:39.000 Is that it?
02:15:41.000 I think it was before that.
02:15:42.000 I think it was before that.
02:15:43.000 You think that'll be the fight?
02:15:45.000 That's the announcement, but there was another one of him where it said, this is me at 60%.
02:15:50.000 Who wants to see 70%?
02:15:51.000 Jeez, look at him in the prime.
02:15:52.000 God.
02:15:54.000 Nope.
02:15:55.000 Nope.
02:15:57.000 What does it say there?
02:15:58.000 Did you see him in his prime?
02:15:59.000 It was really recent.
02:16:00.000 It's him.
02:16:01.000 He's hitting the bag.
02:16:02.000 He's doing some other stuff.
02:16:04.000 He was tough.
02:16:06.000 Oh, he was amazing.
02:16:07.000 He's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time.
02:16:09.000 Either way, that's okay.
02:16:11.000 Wow.
02:16:11.000 But he's basically him going through a workout.
02:16:15.000 He's throwing some punches, hitting the bag, throwing some uppercuts, and you're like, wow.
02:16:21.000 What if it's a Tyson-Holyfield fight?
02:16:23.000 Dude, that's the fight.
02:16:24.000 If you were going to make a crazy fight of two 50-year-old guys, that's the fight.
02:16:29.000 People would pay for that for sure.
02:16:31.000 Oh, fuck yeah.
02:16:32.000 Oh, fuck yeah, they would.
02:16:33.000 But here's the thing.
02:16:35.000 Do you just jump right into that?
02:16:38.000 Yes, you do.
02:16:39.000 Do you let Tyson fight a bartender first?
02:16:43.000 Just from a promo standpoint to get everyone excited?
02:16:47.000 Well there was a guy who's a rugby player who's I believe he's 7-0 in boxing.
02:16:52.000 I think they offered Tyson a fight to fight that guy and I think his thought is no he wants to fight a real boxer like not just a guy who's like a hobbyist.
02:17:01.000 Right.
02:17:02.000 Yeah let him take down some tomato can.
02:17:04.000 I've been training lately, too.
02:17:06.000 Oh my goodness, 54-year-old Lennox Lewis.
02:17:09.000 Hey man, imagine if in this day and age the three of them have like a fucking fight-off, you know, like a Super 6 tournament.
02:17:17.000 Fuck, that would be crazy!
02:17:20.000 They can take testosterone, these guys?
02:17:23.000 I don't know.
02:17:23.000 Would that be okay?
02:17:25.000 In the Boxing Federation?
02:17:26.000 I don't know where they get it done.
02:17:28.000 I don't know who does the testing, what the rules are.
02:17:31.000 It would vary on the state athletic commissions.
02:17:34.000 You could always do things on tribal land.
02:17:36.000 They have their own rules.
02:17:37.000 You could always make agreements, like the fighter can't take more than this or that, and you have to be within this level or that level.
02:17:44.000 Because you don't want guys juiced up on some psycho drugs.
02:17:48.000 No, no.
02:17:48.000 Because also, if you're not going to drug test at all, there's other stuff that people could take.
02:17:53.000 People take Adderall and fight.
02:17:54.000 Oh yeah?
02:17:55.000 Just for focus?
02:17:56.000 Yeah, I've seen people who actually were on Adderall who were told by the Athletic Commission that they couldn't take the Adderall.
02:18:02.000 They had to get off of it and then they had to wean themselves off and then come back and fight.
02:18:07.000 Geez.
02:18:08.000 Wow.
02:18:09.000 Yeah, there was quite a bit of an issue because there's guys who were prescribed it by the doctors.
02:18:14.000 You know, they have ADHD or something.
02:18:16.000 And they're on this Adderall and the Athletic Commission was like, no sir.
02:18:19.000 Oh, yeah.
02:18:20.000 You know, I did a baseball event.
02:18:23.000 It was the all-star game for softball.
02:18:27.000 The softball game before the all-star game the next day.
02:18:30.000 Celebrity legends thing.
02:18:32.000 And you get to play with all the baseball players.
02:18:34.000 And I hang out with the baseball players, and they were all talking about how in the 70s and 80s, When you were pitching, you would put amphetamines in the coffee because you wanted everybody to be super alert and be able to see stuff and you wanted everybody to play your best while you were pitching.
02:18:51.000 It was just common.
02:18:53.000 People were taking pills and stuff all the time.
02:18:56.000 And then focus for the batters as well, right?
02:18:58.000 Yeah, so their team would win while you're pitching.
02:19:01.000 They would see the ball as a big...
02:19:03.000 Yeah, I've never done them.
02:19:05.000 Me neither.
02:19:06.000 But I know a lot of pool players who really got into amphetamines during gambling events.
02:19:12.000 Because the pool culture is very strange when it comes to gambling.
02:19:16.000 One of the big things is they play until someone quits.
02:19:20.000 Right.
02:19:20.000 It's like, you can win, like you can say, okay, we'll do a race to 10, and if you beat me, and if I want to play you a second race, and you just bail, you get a bad reputation in the world of gamblers.
02:19:30.000 The idea is, and this is very debatable, some guys don't feel bad about stopping early, and some guys do, but the old school hardcore guys would never quit.
02:19:41.000 Right.
02:19:41.000 That's like a scene in The Hustler with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman.
02:19:44.000 Swears them down.
02:19:45.000 They go all night, and then all through the next night.
02:19:47.000 He has a breakdown.
02:19:48.000 He's just all sweaty.
02:19:49.000 And then...
02:19:50.000 His character cracks.
02:19:51.000 And Fats starts putting himself together.
02:19:53.000 He's like, oh, it was better at the end.
02:19:54.000 Yep, he washes his hands.
02:19:56.000 So great.
02:19:56.000 Yeah, he changes his suit.
02:19:58.000 Tightens his tie.
02:20:00.000 Powdered his hands up.
02:20:01.000 Like a baby, Fats.
02:20:02.000 And he goes...
02:20:03.000 Yeah.
02:20:04.000 He goes, uh, Fast Eddie, let's play some pool.
02:20:07.000 And then Paul Newman's drunk.
02:20:10.000 I mean, it's a classic scene.
02:20:11.000 So great.
02:20:11.000 But it's a realistic scene in terms of, like, the culture of, like, hardcore gamblers in pool.
02:20:17.000 And in the 70s and the 80s, when gambling was a really big thing...
02:20:21.000 With pool players who travel all across the country.
02:20:24.000 There's all these great road stories.
02:20:25.000 There's one by David McCumber about my friend Tony Anagoni.
02:20:29.000 It's called Playing Off the Rail.
02:20:30.000 And it's all about them just traveling from town to town gambling.
02:20:34.000 Wow, that's great.
02:20:36.000 But Tony would do it completely naturally.
02:20:39.000 Tony was just a strong-minded, really good pool player who would do it With no drugs.
02:20:44.000 But other guys would take hardcore amphetamines and be up for days.
02:20:49.000 It was famous that guys would have these sessions.
02:20:52.000 You would go home and go to bed.
02:20:54.000 And then you call a pool hall at noon, like, they're still going.
02:20:57.000 Like, what?
02:20:57.000 And they went all through the night, and they played all through the day.
02:21:00.000 So you would go down there, like, after lunch.
02:21:02.000 Yeah.
02:21:03.000 It'd be three in the afternoon, and these guys who'd been playing pool from 7 p.m.
02:21:06.000 the night before were still playing.
02:21:09.000 And still talking shit to each other, and they're all just gacked up on speed.
02:21:13.000 Wow!
02:21:14.000 Until somebody broke.
02:21:16.000 Yeah, there was speed guys and then there was the guys who were the natural guys who get mad at the speed guys.
02:21:20.000 He needs that shit in his system.
02:21:22.000 He can't fucking play me like a man.
02:21:26.000 Should I take testosterone?
02:21:28.000 Would it make me feel more?
02:21:30.000 You should go to a doctor and find out what your testosterone levels are.
02:21:33.000 When I went for my physical, it wasn't low.
02:21:36.000 Oh, you're good to go.
02:21:39.000 It's got to be lower than it was when I was 17. I'm sure it is.
02:21:43.000 And there's some strategies to lift it up, and one of the best ones is stop eating bread.
02:21:48.000 Sorry.
02:21:49.000 What?
02:21:51.000 God damn it!
02:21:54.000 Some people think that's actually true.
02:21:55.000 Some people think that one of the best ways to keep your hormones strong is to have less inflammation in your body.
02:22:03.000 Less.
02:22:04.000 And carnivore diet, like any diet where you're eating very little carbs.
02:22:09.000 Yeah.
02:22:10.000 Probably will boost it a little bit.
02:22:12.000 Yeah.
02:22:12.000 It's good for people that have autoimmune issues for some strange reason.
02:22:16.000 When people cut out bread and pasta and sugar and even vegetables, some people with psoriasis, it just goes away.
02:22:24.000 Really?
02:22:24.000 That's weird, man.
02:22:25.000 Yeah.
02:22:26.000 That's extreme.
02:22:27.000 Yeah.
02:22:28.000 I did it for a month.
02:22:29.000 It's a weird way to live your life.
02:22:31.000 Yeah.
02:22:31.000 You get tired of...
02:22:33.000 It does feel great, though, to, you know, I'm not going to live that way, but when it's just, when you don't have any of that and just have some of your elk or whatever and vegetables and just eggs the next morning and just, even just for like two days, you feel like different.
02:22:49.000 Really, you feel different.
02:22:50.000 It's like a person who doesn't fly.
02:22:53.000 Yeah.
02:22:54.000 If you're eating healthy food, I mean, healthy food is the number one building block for your body.
02:22:58.000 You have to think about it like if you're making your body...
02:23:01.000 Your body is essentially building itself up all the time and regenerating tissue and regenerating cells, right?
02:23:07.000 We all know this.
02:23:08.000 If that's happening, what is it doing it with?
02:23:10.000 What are you providing?
02:23:12.000 What kind of protein?
02:23:13.000 What kind of vitamins?
02:23:14.000 Cool Ranch Doritos!
02:23:16.000 Holy cow!
02:23:18.000 We're going to have to build a house with this shit!
02:23:21.000 And it's got to build your body with this horrible foundation.
02:23:24.000 You should almost look at it that way.
02:23:26.000 Yeah, that's a good way to look at it.
02:23:28.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with eating a little bit of bullshit every now and then.
02:23:31.000 Sure.
02:23:31.000 But you're literally using it as fuel to power your body.
02:23:38.000 You want to give it the best fuel possible.
02:23:40.000 Yeah, of course.
02:23:42.000 Of course.
02:23:42.000 I know people like my friend Cam Haynes.
02:23:45.000 He pours water into cereal because he won't use dairy.
02:23:50.000 Mm-hmm.
02:23:50.000 What about a nut milk?
02:23:53.000 You'd never catch that motherfucker drinking nut milk.
02:23:56.000 Nice little almond milk.
02:23:57.000 It's too hard.
02:23:58.000 It's too hard of a man.
02:23:59.000 But he pours water onto cereal.
02:24:01.000 I'm like, what the fuck?
02:24:01.000 Just don't eat cereal, man.
02:24:02.000 Don't eat cereal, yeah.
02:24:03.000 If he wants the cereal, he just doesn't want any dairy.
02:24:05.000 Some people just look at food as fuel.
02:24:08.000 It's just fuel.
02:24:08.000 I know, I know.
02:24:09.000 That's all it is.
02:24:10.000 Yeah, and look, if you're living that way, that's fine.
02:24:13.000 Not me, baby.
02:24:14.000 Not me, baby.
02:24:15.000 A bottle of wine, some nice bread, some nice cheese.
02:24:19.000 Once in a while, sit outside with your wife and just have a nice little moment.
02:24:24.000 That's not about fuel.
02:24:25.000 That's about something else.
02:24:26.000 It's about living your life.
02:24:28.000 Yeah, there's enjoyment.
02:24:29.000 There's pleasure in those meals.
02:24:31.000 Yes, 100%.
02:24:33.000 Yeah, like pasta.
02:24:35.000 I was talking to Adam Perry Lang about food, what he calls comfort food.
02:24:39.000 I'm like, yeah, that's a good name for it, that expression that people love to use, comfort food.
02:24:43.000 Comfort food.
02:24:44.000 Yeah, because that's kind of what's happening.
02:24:46.000 It's like giving you a hug in your mouth.
02:24:47.000 It is, yeah.
02:24:48.000 It's a big cuddly grandma's boob.
02:24:51.000 Some real good mac and cheese.
02:24:53.000 Right in between grandma's big boobs and her house dress.
02:24:56.000 Yes.
02:24:57.000 You smell the flower on her apron.
02:24:59.000 Yeah, come on.
02:25:00.000 Oh, whatever you grew up with like that?
02:25:02.000 Yeah.
02:25:03.000 It could just make you five again.
02:25:06.000 Especially like things that are like cheesy, like stews or, you know, like just pasta with melted cheese and soft, like lasagna.
02:25:18.000 Oh, come on.
02:25:20.000 Come on.
02:25:21.000 Lasagna is such a great creation.
02:25:23.000 Oh, it's so good.
02:25:24.000 Whatever wizard figured out how to put together that concoction.
02:25:28.000 Because think of what they're doing like, hold on, I got a fucking idea.
02:25:31.000 Yeah.
02:25:32.000 We take some pasta on the bottom.
02:25:34.000 We took some pasta on the bottom.
02:25:36.000 I'm going to put a pasta on the bottom.
02:25:37.000 I'm going to put a sauce.
02:25:38.000 I'm going to put a cheese.
02:25:39.000 More pasta.
02:25:40.000 Don't forget the meat.
02:25:41.000 Don't forget the meat.
02:25:42.000 Oh, the fucking pork.
02:25:44.000 It's all about the pork.
02:25:46.000 We are going to have three times meat.
02:25:48.000 Three times meat.
02:25:49.000 He just stacked it in there like this meat and pasta cheese sandwich.
02:25:52.000 Another layer?
02:25:53.000 Yeah, another layer!
02:25:54.000 And then the tomato sauce.
02:25:55.000 And you know there's no ifs, ands, or buts.
02:25:58.000 That's not good for you.
02:26:00.000 You don't give a fuck.
02:26:01.000 Oh my god.
02:26:01.000 No one's got nutritious pasta that's like lasagna.
02:26:04.000 There has never been an athlete that was at the podium with a medal around his neck saying, I'd like to thank the people that made my lasagna.
02:26:11.000 There's something about it, though.
02:26:13.000 Like when you're eating it, you're like, I don't give a fuck.
02:26:16.000 I don't care if this is bad for me.
02:26:17.000 This is so good.
02:26:19.000 I make that on Christmas Eve.
02:26:20.000 Oh, it's such a good thing to make.
02:26:22.000 Oh, and it becomes like, you know, because it's a lot of work.
02:26:25.000 You're only doing that a couple times a year.
02:26:27.000 And when you do it, like now the kids all think of Christmas Eve as the time for the lasagna.
02:26:33.000 I mean, that's memories, that's love, that's all of that stuff wrapped into one.
02:26:38.000 My grandmother used to make her own pasta.
02:26:40.000 She did everything.
02:26:41.000 Everything was homemade.
02:26:42.000 Oh, my God.
02:26:43.000 Yeah, it was crazy.
02:26:44.000 Oh, my God.
02:26:45.000 I grew up with that.
02:26:46.000 When I was a little kid, I remember when I was over at their house, my grandmother, she had the rolling pin, the flour, and she's making the dough, and she's pressing everything and pouring the flour on it and pressing it again.
02:26:59.000 A master.
02:27:00.000 Where was this?
02:27:00.000 Where was she?
02:27:01.000 Jersey.
02:27:01.000 New Jersey.
02:27:02.000 She was reckless, this lady.
02:27:04.000 She would cut a loaf of bread towards her with a giant-ass knife.
02:27:08.000 Like this.
02:27:09.000 I'm like, your tits, Grandma!
02:27:10.000 Your tits are right there!
02:27:12.000 Don't cut yourself!
02:27:13.000 I kept thinking, she's gonna cut herself.
02:27:15.000 Never.
02:27:15.000 She's been doing it every day for her whole life.
02:27:18.000 Yeah, her whole fucking life.
02:27:19.000 God.
02:27:19.000 Reckless lady.
02:27:20.000 Oh, that's the best.
02:27:22.000 Cut towards your tit with a giant old knife.
02:27:25.000 But you knew when you walked in there you were going to be fed.
02:27:27.000 The only thing they didn't make is bread.
02:27:29.000 We would get bread.
02:27:30.000 My grandfather had two places he would go in the neighborhood that we would go, and he would take me on a walk with him to get the bread.
02:27:35.000 It was only a couple of blocks away.
02:27:37.000 Amazing.
02:27:37.000 Yeah.
02:27:38.000 Amazing.
02:27:38.000 It was wild, man.
02:27:40.000 Italian immigrant cooking.
02:27:41.000 That was my grandparents, too.
02:27:42.000 And what was amazing, too, is...
02:27:44.000 Even when they weren't going all out, if they just did something simple, it was like the most mind-blowing.
02:27:50.000 She used to make the escarole, which was just like this leafy, oh, just Tommy, just take this, take a little piece of bread, just have that.
02:27:57.000 And it was like, come on.
02:27:59.000 Yes.
02:27:59.000 Come on, to your knees.
02:28:01.000 Yes.
02:28:02.000 She would make these little twists, these little pasta twists.
02:28:06.000 And it was all fresh pasta.
02:28:08.000 So when you bite into it, it was like it had this chew to it that was so satisfying.
02:28:12.000 Oh.
02:28:12.000 With the homemade tomato sauce.
02:28:14.000 Bro, it all came from my grandfather's tomatoes that he would grow in the backyard.
02:28:18.000 She would do the whole thing from scratch.
02:28:20.000 Boil the tomatoes and make the sauce and add the garlic.
02:28:23.000 The kitchen, you'd walk in and you'd be like, I'm fucking starving.
02:28:28.000 What is happening in here?
02:28:29.000 I always said as soon as I got out of the car in the driveway, the smell would just carry you into the house.
02:28:36.000 Oh, the tomato sauce.
02:28:38.000 The smell.
02:28:38.000 So good.
02:28:39.000 The garlic.
02:28:40.000 Good for your soul.
02:28:41.000 Good for your soul.
02:28:43.000 I'll never forget that, man.
02:28:44.000 I'll never forget watching her make things.
02:28:46.000 She wanted to make it for everybody.
02:28:48.000 She wanted everybody to eat her homemade pasta.
02:28:50.000 Oh, she knew she was good at it.
02:28:51.000 Oh, for sure.
02:28:53.000 We would go crazy.
02:28:54.000 She would serve us and she'd just look at us and be like, oh my god, grandma.
02:28:58.000 Was it a big family?
02:28:59.000 Did you have cousins and stuff?
02:29:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:29:00.000 Everybody would come over.
02:29:02.000 Before she got sick, she had a stroke.
02:29:06.000 Oh yeah.
02:29:06.000 It was horrible, man.
02:29:07.000 How old?
02:29:08.000 She wasn't that old and she lived for another 12 years.
02:29:11.000 Wow.
02:29:12.000 They thought that she had 48 hours to live.
02:29:14.000 The doctor was like, you know, she's got maybe 72 or something.
02:29:17.000 Oh my God.
02:29:18.000 Say goodbye.
02:29:19.000 She's in bad shape.
02:29:21.000 12 years.
02:29:21.000 She had a stroke, and no one knew.
02:29:26.000 She fell down outside.
02:29:27.000 She had a hemorrhage, and she fell down outside, and they didn't find her for a half hour or something.
02:29:36.000 No one knew that she'd been out there.
02:29:38.000 That's the whole key with stroke is speed.
02:29:40.000 Yeah, that's what they say, right?
02:29:42.000 But we only learned that last week.
02:29:44.000 Oh, that's brutal.
02:29:46.000 Yeah, aneurysms are crazy, right?
02:29:48.000 Everything's fine, and then one day, just boom, things start bleeding.
02:29:51.000 No, I don't like to think of those at all.
02:29:53.000 It's terrifying.
02:29:54.000 God, but you got enough years in where she was cooking?
02:29:57.000 Yeah, but it was also, I did, but it was also just for life, for me, for a life lesson, to see someone who you knew was, you know, always like this larger-than-life character.
02:30:10.000 Yeah.
02:30:10.000 My grandmother was, she was really fun.
02:30:12.000 Yeah.
02:30:13.000 She was really weird, too.
02:30:14.000 She would wear wigs and shit.
02:30:15.000 Yeah.
02:30:17.000 She was a strange lady, but a powerful lady.
02:30:21.000 And then to see her confined to a bed for the rest of the time that I saw her.
02:30:25.000 And then when I moved to New York, when I was 23 or 24, when I first moved to New York, I stayed with them because I didn't have any money.
02:30:35.000 And my grandparents lived in this neighborhood that was really deteriorating.
02:30:40.000 Their next door neighbor, like the fucking, the DEA broke down his front door with a battering ram.
02:30:45.000 He was sat on crack and shit.
02:30:47.000 Shit.
02:30:48.000 Oh man.
02:30:49.000 Heavy.
02:30:49.000 The neighborhood got heavy.
02:30:51.000 Yeah.
02:30:51.000 But to stay with them while, you know, they're in the twilight of their life, and my grandmother was in really bad shape.
02:30:57.000 Yeah.
02:30:58.000 So she would, like, moan all the time, make these horrible noises.
02:31:01.000 Oh, really?
02:31:02.000 For years, kind of a thing?
02:31:04.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:04.000 Yeah.
02:31:05.000 It lasted a long time, man.
02:31:06.000 But it made me, the lesson was, okay, you have to really savor the moment because they can go away.
02:31:14.000 Yeah.
02:31:14.000 They can go away quick.
02:31:15.000 And also, you got to take care of your body.
02:31:18.000 Yeah.
02:31:18.000 Like you have to.
02:31:19.000 And no one from her generation did.
02:31:21.000 Forget it.
02:31:21.000 They were just trying to survive, man.
02:31:23.000 Exactly.
02:31:23.000 She was a kid during the depression.
02:31:25.000 Yeah.
02:31:25.000 So people that were kids during the depression, man, they were scared.
02:31:29.000 Yeah, they didn't eat.
02:31:30.000 I mean, they had no joke.
02:31:32.000 Not like, now I'm starving.
02:31:34.000 Like, real starving.
02:31:35.000 Yeah, like, terrifying.
02:31:36.000 Yeah.
02:31:37.000 Terrifying times.
02:31:38.000 Yeah.
02:31:39.000 No, and you saw how they treated food that whole generation.
02:31:42.000 Like, my grandmother wouldn't throw anything out.
02:31:44.000 There was no waste.
02:31:45.000 Because they always felt like a ride around the corner could be another time when you're not going to have it.
02:31:50.000 Also, you didn't cook anything new.
02:31:51.000 You just ate the leftovers.
02:31:52.000 You had to eat your fucking leftovers before you cooked some new shit.
02:31:54.000 That's right.
02:31:55.000 You know?
02:31:55.000 I know.
02:31:56.000 I know.
02:31:56.000 I always feel wasteful when I think of that.
02:31:59.000 Yeah.
02:31:59.000 Well, that's one thing that hunting does, for sure.
02:32:02.000 Like, you feel very differently about things that you don't use.
02:32:05.000 Yeah.
02:32:05.000 It's not the same.
02:32:06.000 It's like, if I don't use, you know, a piece of chicken, I don't feel as bad.
02:32:10.000 Right.
02:32:11.000 But if I don't use a piece of elk, I'm like, oh my god, I feel terrible.
02:32:14.000 Yeah.
02:32:15.000 I'm always erring in the side of cooking too little.
02:32:18.000 Or I make some so I can eat the next day.
02:32:20.000 But I eat it the next day.
02:32:22.000 Like, I like to eat it with...
02:32:24.000 Like, there's a chipotle lime mayonnaise that Primal Kitchen makes.
02:32:28.000 Oh, yeah?
02:32:29.000 It's like avocado oil mayonnaise, and it's got a little bit of kick to it.
02:32:33.000 I eat the elk in the morning with that.
02:32:35.000 The cold elk?
02:32:35.000 Yes.
02:32:36.000 Yeah.
02:32:36.000 Cold elk with this chipotle lime.
02:32:38.000 Oh, that's good.
02:32:39.000 Mayo.
02:32:39.000 Oh, it's so good.
02:32:40.000 Yeah, it's avocado oil.
02:32:42.000 Oh, man, oh, man.
02:32:42.000 Super good for you.
02:32:43.000 It tastes delicious.
02:32:44.000 That's so good.
02:32:45.000 And it gives you the fats, too, because, you know, that elk's super lean.
02:32:48.000 Yeah, that's so good.
02:32:49.000 That stuff is so good.
02:32:51.000 I mean, I've been living on it all during quarantine.
02:32:53.000 It's crazy, right?
02:32:54.000 So good.
02:32:55.000 So good.
02:32:55.000 I mean, even like when I bought one steak during the time from the supermarket, and it just wasn't as good.
02:33:04.000 It's different.
02:33:05.000 Yeah, I can't even explain why.
02:33:07.000 It's just a different kind of meat.
02:33:08.000 Yeah, it's just...
02:33:09.000 You've got to realize, those are warriors.
02:33:11.000 Yeah.
02:33:11.000 You're eating warriors.
02:33:13.000 Yeah.
02:33:13.000 I know them.
02:33:14.000 I snuck up on them.
02:33:16.000 Right.
02:33:16.000 This is not conjecture.
02:33:20.000 Yeah.
02:33:20.000 This is fact.
02:33:21.000 This isn't from a pen.
02:33:22.000 I was actually there while they were screaming.
02:33:24.000 Right.
02:33:25.000 Yeah.
02:33:25.000 Yeah.
02:33:26.000 You got to honor that.
02:33:27.000 There's not, it's a connection to it.
02:33:30.000 First of all, it's better for you, for sure.
02:33:32.000 Like, it feels better for you.
02:33:34.000 Like, God damn, this is good.
02:33:36.000 And also, there's a connection that just doesn't exist with your food in any other way.
02:33:40.000 It's even if you grow something.
02:33:42.000 Growing something is great.
02:33:43.000 Like, I've grown vegetables and fruit and stuff and eaten it.
02:33:46.000 It feels good that you're eating something new.
02:33:48.000 Oh, 100%.
02:33:49.000 But when you eat a piece of elk from an animal that you stalked, shot with a bow and arrow, that's off the charts.
02:33:55.000 That connection's off the charts.
02:33:57.000 It's gotta be.
02:33:57.000 I mean, because even just knowing you and knowing that you hunted for it has an effect on my eating it.
02:34:06.000 Dude, I can show you a video of that animal getting shot.
02:34:09.000 You can almost be there when it happened.
02:34:12.000 Yeah, it's heavy.
02:34:14.000 It's different.
02:34:15.000 It's totally different.
02:34:16.000 Well, this is a thing that happened during this quarantine.
02:34:19.000 So many people got interested in hunting.
02:34:22.000 Big shift.
02:34:23.000 Yeah.
02:34:23.000 Giant shift.
02:34:24.000 Because people realize, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:34:26.000 Right.
02:34:27.000 This whole food supply chain, this might not be stable.
02:34:30.000 That's right.
02:34:31.000 Like, if you can't drive a truck because everybody's got the zombie plague.
02:34:34.000 Right.
02:34:34.000 Like, how the fuck do I get a hamburger?
02:34:36.000 Yeah.
02:34:36.000 I don't get a hamburger.
02:34:37.000 Right.
02:34:38.000 Look at Wendy's is out of hamburgers.
02:34:39.000 Yeah.
02:34:39.000 You know about that?
02:34:40.000 No.
02:34:40.000 Wendy's.
02:34:41.000 Really?
02:34:41.000 Fucking Wendy's.
02:34:42.000 Wow.
02:34:43.000 They ran out of hamburgers.
02:34:44.000 Shh.
02:34:45.000 Yeah, they don't have any beef.
02:34:47.000 Jeez.
02:34:47.000 Right, so that's not everywhere, and they don't want people to fucking panic, and they think they can solve all this.
02:34:52.000 And in fact, I think, didn't the government step in and say they were going to start buying people's meat and milk to make sure that the supply chain doesn't get interrupted because of financial hardship?
02:35:05.000 Jeez.
02:35:06.000 And they want to make sure these farms don't fucking go under.
02:35:08.000 Right, right.
02:35:09.000 We're not growing anything.
02:35:11.000 We're not...
02:35:12.000 Where are we getting our food?
02:35:13.000 So there's a lot of people that started thinking about hunting.
02:35:16.000 A lot.
02:35:17.000 Isn't it funny?
02:35:18.000 Like all that stuff.
02:35:18.000 Cooking at home.
02:35:19.000 How about guns?
02:35:20.000 The bread baking at home.
02:35:21.000 The hunting.
02:35:23.000 All those things that you had to do for centuries.
02:35:26.000 And then only in this brief moment have you not had to do any of that stuff.
02:35:31.000 You know what I mean?
02:35:31.000 Those food chains like Wendy's.
02:35:33.000 I mean that's a new thing that became that easy.
02:35:36.000 And then all of a sudden it's back to being worried about where the food comes from.
02:35:40.000 Yeah.
02:35:40.000 Like that.
02:35:41.000 Yeah.
02:35:42.000 Well, Wendy's says they have plenty of burgers, but they had a small problem at some stores because they deliver fresh beef and they want to keep it fresh.
02:35:51.000 Yeah, they ran out.
02:35:52.000 They ran out.
02:35:53.000 Wow.
02:35:54.000 Yeah.
02:35:55.000 Crazy.
02:35:56.000 Nobody ever thought that would happen to some Wendy's places.
02:35:58.000 How many stores was it where they ran out of it?
02:36:01.000 Some.
02:36:01.000 It's all of them, bitch.
02:36:03.000 Stop lying.
02:36:04.000 You ran out of beef.
02:36:05.000 It's really ironic because remember their commercial?
02:36:08.000 Where's the beef?
02:36:10.000 That's literally the thing they put back out.
02:36:11.000 Like, where's the beef?
02:36:13.000 They're really good at Twitter.
02:36:14.000 Oh, that's what they said?
02:36:15.000 Since you've been asking.
02:36:17.000 Funny.
02:36:18.000 Well, it's because that's why their burgers are delicious.
02:36:21.000 Yeah.
02:36:22.000 Like, if you have a choice, like, 1 o'clock in the morning, that's my spot.
02:36:26.000 Oh, yeah?
02:36:26.000 Yeah.
02:36:26.000 Yeah, if there's nothing else open.
02:36:27.000 If I go to Wendy's, it's way better than most of those places.
02:36:31.000 I never go there.
02:36:32.000 It's fresh!
02:36:33.000 Eating the elk too, what's interesting is, and it might be what they add to it, but if I go to a steakhouse and have a steak, I can't sleep that night.
02:36:43.000 I'm having meat sweats in your gut.
02:36:45.000 Yeah, it feels weird.
02:36:46.000 I could eat the same amount of the elk, and I think I just digest it quicker.
02:36:52.000 I think all that bread bacteria in your stomach, it won't tolerate any incoming troops from other factories.
02:36:58.000 You son of a bitch.
02:37:00.000 You know, because you get the gut flora, I think.
02:37:02.000 You know how that happens?
02:37:03.000 Like if people that eat a lot of sugar, for instance, you eat a lot of candy, your body starts craving that shit, and your gut flora wants candy all the time.
02:37:10.000 Oh, really?
02:37:10.000 What is that candida?
02:37:11.000 That's what it's called, that type of...
02:37:13.000 Yeah.
02:37:14.000 It's one of the gut floras.
02:37:16.000 Right.
02:37:16.000 No, I have really good gut flora.
02:37:18.000 Mouth of steak.
02:37:20.000 But yeah, like if I eat a big steak at a steak, but it's also tons of butter and, you know, who knows what else you're eating with it.
02:37:26.000 But I think the elk is just lean.
02:37:28.000 I think it's just lean.
02:37:29.000 It's very different.
02:37:30.000 Yeah.
02:37:31.000 It has an energy to it, too.
02:37:33.000 Yeah.
02:37:34.000 Deer meat does as well.
02:37:36.000 Deer meat has an energy to it.
02:37:37.000 Yeah.
02:37:39.000 That's what my brother-in-law and sister, he in Jersey from hunting.
02:37:43.000 They're just living on that.
02:37:45.000 Do you think you could ever hunt?
02:37:47.000 I don't know.
02:37:48.000 I think probably.
02:37:49.000 Yeah?
02:37:50.000 Yeah.
02:37:50.000 You know what you should try?
02:37:51.000 I could hunt.
02:37:52.000 You should try to go to Lanai.
02:37:53.000 Lanai?
02:37:54.000 Yeah, because there's an animal there called an axis deer that we hunt, and it's really delicious.
02:37:59.000 It's also an invasive species.
02:38:02.000 They have way too many of them.
02:38:03.000 Right.
02:38:03.000 They hire snipers to come in and shoot the deer.
02:38:06.000 Right.
02:38:06.000 It's not like anything you've ever seen.
02:38:08.000 Yeah.
02:38:08.000 Lanai has 3,000 people, super nice people.
02:38:12.000 Yeah.
02:38:12.000 Really cool place.
02:38:14.000 30,000 deer.
02:38:15.000 Whew.
02:38:16.000 Dude, it's crazy.
02:38:17.000 These are just estimates.
02:38:18.000 Might be 20,000, might be 30,000.
02:38:20.000 They don't know.
02:38:20.000 There's so many, man.
02:38:21.000 So does it even feel like hunting?
02:38:23.000 Yes.
02:38:23.000 Well, for me, because I'm doing it with a bow and arrow, it's very difficult.
02:38:27.000 Very difficult.
02:38:28.000 But for a rifle hunter, it's 100% success rate.
02:38:32.000 Right.
02:38:32.000 100%.
02:38:32.000 But you will actually be doing good.
02:38:35.000 See, the thing is, you can look at it one way.
02:38:37.000 You can say, oh, is it even hunting?
02:38:39.000 Yeah.
02:38:40.000 Well, what's your goal?
02:38:40.000 Is your goal for it to be really difficult or is your goal to be successful in gathering meat in an ethical way?
02:38:46.000 Right.
02:38:47.000 So if your goal is just to get the meat in an ethical way, it's 100% successful.
02:38:50.000 Right.
02:38:50.000 And it's 100% a good thing to do because they have to do it anyway.
02:38:54.000 And the food is great for you.
02:38:56.000 Yeah.
02:38:57.000 No, look, it's kind of similar to golf in a way.
02:39:01.000 Golf is a really great game.
02:39:04.000 It's thoughtful.
02:39:05.000 There's bonding with it.
02:39:07.000 It's challenging.
02:39:08.000 It's all that stuff.
02:39:09.000 And then there's a faction of it that's filled with douchebags.
02:39:12.000 Filled with guys who you don't want to talk to, you don't want to be friends with, who are just big blowhard douchebags.
02:39:19.000 Finance guys.
02:39:20.000 Right.
02:39:20.000 And there's, I'm sure, in hunting and in everything else, there's that same thing.
02:39:23.000 It's people like, what you just described is like, I would do that in a second.
02:39:27.000 Yeah.
02:39:27.000 And then there's other people that just kind of like abuse it and have like, we're throwing our beer cans into the world.
02:39:31.000 There's way less of those people than you would imagine.
02:39:34.000 Yeah.
02:39:34.000 It's way more people that respect it.
02:39:36.000 That's good.
02:39:36.000 But there's also different kinds of hunting.
02:39:40.000 There's mountain hunting in Colorado or Utah or Wyoming or Montana.
02:39:47.000 That's the hardest shit.
02:39:48.000 That's gorgeous, though.
02:39:49.000 There's a special level of hunter that's a fitness fanatic, backpacking.
02:39:55.000 Right.
02:39:57.000 That's the top of the food chain world.
02:39:59.000 It's like the bow hunter that lives off his back, that goes into public ground and hikes 9, 10, 10, 12 miles in, shoots it out, carries it out on his back.
02:40:09.000 Literally takes like eight trips to do.
02:40:11.000 Oh my God.
02:40:12.000 Those are like athletes that get their food from hunting.
02:40:15.000 That's crazy.
02:40:16.000 Yeah, those are exceptional people.
02:40:17.000 Yeah, I never thought of that.
02:40:18.000 Like, what happens when...
02:40:19.000 How do you get it out of the woods?
02:40:20.000 See, my friend Adam Greentree, he's the guy who shot that buffalo up there.
02:40:25.000 He went to Colorado.
02:40:28.000 He went to a couple different places where he was out in the woods for 28 days by himself, solo.
02:40:36.000 28 days?
02:40:36.000 28 days until he finally got an elk.
02:40:39.000 And he put it all on his Instagram.
02:40:40.000 And then he had to pack the elk out.
02:40:42.000 But in those 28 days, he documented everything on his Instagram stories.
02:40:47.000 And one of them, he had a fucking encounter with a grizzly bear.
02:40:49.000 So a grizzly bear kept bluff charging him.
02:40:51.000 And he had a pistol that had the wrong round in it.
02:40:54.000 So the pistol wasn't even effective.
02:40:56.000 So he's pointing a gun at the grizzly bear.
02:40:58.000 And if you're looking at it, you can tell that the gun is jammed.
02:41:01.000 Like the bullet isn't even in the, it's not even in the chamber.
02:41:04.000 Oh my God.
02:41:05.000 He gives the wrong round.
02:41:06.000 Oh my God.
02:41:06.000 So meanwhile he's pointing this dummy gun thinking he's going to stop this bear.
02:41:10.000 And the bear's just running at him.
02:41:12.000 And he didn't even realize it until after this was over that the gun didn't work.
02:41:17.000 He got the gun from somebody else to protect him from bears while he's out there.
02:41:20.000 Oh my god.
02:41:21.000 28 days, that's a long time.
02:41:23.000 But dudes, there's videos of the bears, like, looking at them, standing up.
02:41:26.000 Watch this video.
02:41:26.000 Right.
02:41:28.000 Oh, that's him?
02:41:29.000 That's him.
02:41:31.000 She comes a third time.
02:41:32.000 But you see how the gun's jammed?
02:41:34.000 See that hole?
02:41:35.000 Right.
02:41:35.000 See that opening?
02:41:36.000 That's because the round's not in the chamber.
02:41:39.000 So he's getting this pistol and she's standing up in the background.
02:41:42.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:41:44.000 While she's going to drop down and then you realize, oh my god, that's a bear.
02:41:47.000 Oh my god.
02:41:48.000 Oh yeah.
02:41:49.000 Oh my god.
02:41:50.000 And she kept charging him.
02:41:51.000 Holy cow.
02:41:52.000 She bluff charged him three times.
02:41:54.000 Oh, she must have had cubs around or something.
02:41:56.000 Yeah, that's what he thinks.
02:41:58.000 And they just decide that you're a threat, and sometimes they follow you around, too.
02:42:02.000 Oh, my God.
02:42:03.000 Where are you sleeping that night?
02:42:04.000 He sleeps in a tent.
02:42:05.000 You know what I mean?
02:42:06.000 Sleeping in a tent.
02:42:07.000 Yeah.
02:42:07.000 You know what else they do?
02:42:08.000 They put these little electric fences around their tents.
02:42:10.000 Oh, yeah?
02:42:10.000 To protect themselves, little battery-powered fences.
02:42:13.000 It gives the bear a little jolt.
02:42:14.000 I never heard of that.
02:42:15.000 Yeah, they do that in grizzly country.
02:42:17.000 Whoa.
02:42:18.000 Yeah.
02:42:18.000 Is that new?
02:42:19.000 That sounds new.
02:42:20.000 No, they've been doing it for decades.
02:42:23.000 Really?
02:42:23.000 Yeah.
02:42:24.000 I wonder when they invented that.
02:42:25.000 It's pretty cool, though.
02:42:26.000 That is cool.
02:42:26.000 They stick it in the ground, and then they have a big car battery that powers the whole fucking thing.
02:42:30.000 You get up to pee at night.
02:42:32.000 You piss on it.
02:42:34.000 Yikes!
02:42:35.000 Yeah, that's a different kind of connection to your food.
02:42:39.000 He takes it on a whole other level.
02:42:40.000 I don't do that.
02:42:41.000 I'm not good enough to do that.
02:42:43.000 But there's something to all those kind of...
02:42:45.000 It's just being thoughtful about any stage of it.
02:42:47.000 Like your grandmother making the pasta.
02:42:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:42:49.000 That thing, that she's actually doing it.
02:42:52.000 That action, it changes it.
02:42:55.000 It changes her relation to it, the relation that she has in feeding somebody else.
02:43:00.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:43:02.000 There's something deep about that.
02:43:23.000 The connection to the immigrants, the ones who actually decided they were going to take their babies and get on a boat and go across the ocean with no job prospects.
02:43:34.000 Not really sure what was going to happen.
02:43:35.000 Never been in the place before.
02:43:37.000 Didn't even have a picture of it, probably.
02:43:39.000 Your first trip is I'm moving there.
02:43:41.000 How crazy is that?
02:43:42.000 Fuck.
02:43:42.000 And you've got kids.
02:43:44.000 So they came over.
02:43:45.000 They were young kids.
02:43:46.000 Both my grandparents.
02:43:48.000 Yeah, mine too.
02:43:48.000 Same thing.
02:43:49.000 Crazy.
02:43:49.000 Same thing.
02:43:50.000 Imagine being you, if you had no job prospects and you had two young children and you go, okay, this is what we're going to do.
02:43:58.000 We're going to put everybody in a boat.
02:44:00.000 Yeah.
02:44:00.000 And we're going to go to the other side of the planet because I heard there's jobs there.
02:44:03.000 Yeah.
02:44:04.000 No, no kidding.
02:44:06.000 Please.
02:44:06.000 Fuck.
02:44:07.000 How about the people that are just walking with their kids, just walking, just going towards something else?
02:44:13.000 I mean, the desperation of people to be in that spot.
02:44:17.000 Oh yeah, well how about people before houses?
02:44:20.000 You know, you still have kids, you still have babies, but you can't even lock them in the house because you haven't invented houses yet.
02:44:26.000 You're like, shit.
02:44:27.000 I mean, you really stop and think about the hardships that other human beings have faced.
02:44:33.000 No, I know.
02:44:34.000 It makes our hardship seem so trivial.
02:44:37.000 And I think that's part of the problem that people are saying, like, hey, yeah, this isn't great, right?
02:44:42.000 This pandemic is not good for anybody, but I don't know if you guys are handling it the way I would handle it.
02:44:47.000 And I don't know if you should be able to tell me how I can handle it.
02:44:51.000 I don't know if this is logical anymore.
02:44:53.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:44:54.000 And that we have to accept these hard times.
02:44:56.000 And we have to figure out another way to do it other than just standing still and waiting for it to go away.
02:45:01.000 Yeah.
02:45:02.000 Yeah, it's very strange.
02:45:03.000 Because our society is kind of in place standing still.
02:45:07.000 No.
02:45:07.000 And think about how short it's been that we've had to figure it out.
02:45:10.000 Real quick.
02:45:11.000 I mean, March, April, May, three months of trying to figure out how real the threat is and what we're going to do with it.
02:45:18.000 Dude, I was driving down the street today and I saw this lady walk across the street with a mask on.
02:45:22.000 And I was like, oh yeah, there's a pandemic going on.
02:45:27.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:45:28.000 I know.
02:45:28.000 For a moment, I got so used to how weird everything is.
02:45:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:45:31.000 I know.
02:45:32.000 That I forgot, and then I see this lady walking across the street, and I was like, oh, yeah.
02:45:35.000 Oh, yeah.
02:45:35.000 Oh, yeah.
02:45:35.000 We're in the middle of that.
02:45:36.000 This is happening.
02:45:38.000 Yeah.
02:45:38.000 This is going to be one of those things where we look back.
02:45:40.000 We go, that's the moment where I realize that life doesn't follow a pattern like the movies.
02:45:46.000 That life is just weirdly random, and sometimes you find out that the people that are in charge of making the decisions for everybody else are no better at it than you or I. They just have the job of doing it.
02:45:58.000 Making it up as they go along.
02:46:00.000 Right.
02:46:00.000 I know, I know.
02:46:01.000 Can you imagine if it was up to you?
02:46:03.000 No!
02:46:04.000 If you said, hey, Tom Papa, you're a funny guy.
02:46:06.000 Why don't you tell us how we should restart the economy?
02:46:09.000 Yeah, right, exactly.
02:46:10.000 Yeah, and one of your decisions...
02:46:12.000 People are going to be dying on your watch regardless of which way you go.
02:46:16.000 And we're going to blame you.
02:46:17.000 Yeah, and you're going to be blamed for it.
02:46:19.000 I don't envy them at all.
02:46:20.000 Did you see that lady who got into it with Trump?
02:46:23.000 No.
02:46:24.000 This reporter, first of all, she was asking a question with a mask on, which was like, settle down.
02:46:30.000 That's so crazy.
02:46:31.000 Everybody there had to have a mask on.
02:46:32.000 But he didn't have a mask on.
02:46:33.000 And she took it off when she got mad.
02:46:35.000 Oh, she did?
02:46:36.000 Yeah, play it.
02:46:37.000 Play the video.
02:46:37.000 She took it off when she got mad.
02:46:39.000 So this is what happened.
02:46:41.000 She was saying, why are you bragging about how many Americans have been tested and that the United States tests more people than anybody when 80,000 people have died?
02:46:55.000 Like, why is this a competition for you?
02:46:57.000 And so he says...
02:47:01.000 He said that you should ask China.
02:47:03.000 He said people are dying everywhere.
02:47:05.000 If you want to ask someone about that, you should ask China.
02:47:09.000 And she says, why did you say that specifically to me?
02:47:13.000 Because she's Asian.
02:47:17.000 And then he goes, thank you, next question to someone else.
02:47:21.000 And then this lady steps in, and she was like, I have a question.
02:47:25.000 And then she wanted to let her talk, was going to give her question to that lady.
02:47:29.000 So she'd ask again.
02:47:30.000 This is something that reporters are doing now.
02:47:32.000 It's adorable.
02:47:33.000 The president says, next person.
02:47:35.000 And he goes, sir?
02:47:36.000 He goes, yes, you.
02:47:37.000 He goes, I'd like to give my colleague this question.
02:47:39.000 And then they give it back to her.
02:47:40.000 So the reporters are forcing him to ask questions in a really sneaky way.
02:47:44.000 And it seems like they're all in on it.
02:47:47.000 So when one of them has some sort of a contentious exchange with the president, and the president says, next.
02:47:53.000 So they say, sir, over here.
02:47:54.000 He goes, you.
02:47:55.000 He goes, I'd like to give this question to my colleague.
02:47:57.000 I'm giving it back to Bob.
02:47:59.000 It's some crazy keep-away game they're playing.
02:48:02.000 And she goes, why are you saying that specifically to me?
02:48:05.000 Because she's Asian.
02:48:06.000 And he goes, I'm not saying it specifically to anybody.
02:48:08.000 I'm just saying, you should ask China.
02:48:11.000 It's kind of crazy.
02:48:12.000 Watch this.
02:48:13.000 The US is doing far better than any other country when it comes to testing.
02:48:19.000 Why does that matter?
02:48:21.000 Why is this a global competition to you if everyday Americans are still losing their lives and we're still seeing more cases every day?
02:48:29.000 Well, they're losing their lives everywhere in the world.
02:48:32.000 And maybe that's a question you should ask China.
02:48:36.000 Don't ask me.
02:48:37.000 Ask China that question, okay?
02:48:38.000 When you ask them that question, you may get a very unusual answer.
02:48:42.000 Yes, behind you, please.
02:48:44.000 Yeah.
02:48:44.000 Hold on.
02:48:45.000 Here it goes.
02:48:46.000 Watch when she gets masked off.
02:48:46.000 Sir, why are you saying that to me specifically, that I should ask China?
02:48:51.000 I'm telling you.
02:48:51.000 I'm not saying it specifically to anybody.
02:48:52.000 I'm saying it to anybody who would ask a nasty question like that.
02:48:55.000 That's not a nasty question.
02:48:56.000 Please go ahead.
02:48:58.000 Okay, anybody else?
02:49:00.000 Please, go ahead in the back, please.
02:49:01.000 I have two questions.
02:49:02.000 No, it's okay.
02:49:03.000 We'll go over here.
02:49:03.000 But you pointed to me.
02:49:04.000 I have two questions, Mr. President.
02:49:06.000 Next.
02:49:06.000 Next, please.
02:49:07.000 You called on me.
02:49:09.000 I did, and you didn't respond, and now I'm calling on the young lady in the back.
02:49:14.000 Please.
02:49:14.000 I just wanted to let my colleague finish.
02:49:16.000 Okay.
02:49:16.000 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.
02:49:17.000 I just want to let my colleague finish.
02:49:18.000 They know how to do this.
02:49:20.000 They have this little sneaky move.
02:49:22.000 They've done it before.
02:49:23.000 It's been pretty interesting.
02:49:25.000 They've come up with ways to deal with...
02:49:29.000 To get around the angry substitute teacher.
02:49:31.000 It's so strange to see a guy who's the president, regardless of whether or not you think he's handling anything well.
02:49:37.000 It's so strange to see that.
02:49:40.000 He's supposed to be the media guy.
02:49:42.000 Right.
02:49:43.000 He's supposed to be the guy that's like...
02:49:45.000 Savvy.
02:49:45.000 The savvy television performer guy.
02:49:48.000 Right.
02:49:48.000 And to handle that that poorly.
02:49:50.000 Yeah.
02:49:50.000 I know.
02:49:51.000 I don't understand why it would take so little for him to have...
02:49:55.000 His numbers would be through the roof.
02:49:57.000 But this is what happens.
02:49:59.000 They're playing a game, right?
02:50:00.000 And they just won that hand.
02:50:03.000 Right.
02:50:03.000 Because the game is...
02:50:05.000 Talk condescending to you.
02:50:06.000 Why is it a competition to you when all these people are dying?
02:50:10.000 People are dying all over the world.
02:50:12.000 If you want to know why, you should ask China.
02:50:14.000 That's a good answer to a question that's a gotcha question, but then she makes it racial.
02:50:22.000 I know.
02:50:23.000 Because it wasn't necessarily racial.
02:50:24.000 He did come in with a hard cha.
02:50:26.000 He did China, but he does that.
02:50:28.000 China.
02:50:28.000 But that's still not racist.
02:50:30.000 I know.
02:50:31.000 So if he was talking to a white man, and the white man said that to him, and he said, you should ask China, he would say the same thing.
02:50:37.000 Yes, yes.
02:50:39.000 The worst case scenario that that question gets asked by a lady with a mask on who's Asian.
02:50:46.000 China.
02:50:47.000 And then she gets mad and she takes the mask off.
02:50:49.000 Let motherfuckers know she's not even playing by the rules anymore.
02:50:52.000 Yeah.
02:50:53.000 Are you racist?
02:50:55.000 It is a beehive of an environment there.
02:50:59.000 It is, but I don't know if that's helping anybody to chastise him and to get him riled up, and I don't think it's helping anybody the way he's biting.
02:51:09.000 No.
02:51:10.000 It's a complete breakdown of what that...
02:51:12.000 That used to be.
02:51:13.000 It's not what it used to be.
02:51:14.000 It's like this weird gotcha competition and then him getting pissy.
02:51:18.000 The fact that he stormed off like that.
02:51:21.000 It's a TV show.
02:51:22.000 We're watching a TV show.
02:51:24.000 We're not watching the adult telling us if it's going to be okay.
02:51:28.000 You're so right.
02:51:29.000 And during a pandemic, that is the worst time for some shit like that.
02:51:33.000 It's the worst.
02:51:33.000 You just want some consolidation of real information.
02:51:37.000 Just tell me how to feel.
02:51:38.000 Dude, I remember after 9-11, people hated Bush.
02:51:41.000 They thought he was really dumb and he couldn't spell.
02:51:43.000 And then that was Dan Quayle.
02:51:46.000 But that was his insurance policy, right?
02:51:48.000 Dan Quayle was so boring.
02:51:49.000 No, but people hated Bush going into that.
02:51:51.000 They hated him.
02:51:52.000 But then after 9-11, he had some speeches that made, even people that I knew that were hardcore liberals, like, all right, I love this guy.
02:52:00.000 I love what he's doing.
02:52:01.000 It's a moment when you rally.
02:52:02.000 Yeah, but he really rose to the occasion, too.
02:52:05.000 George Bush, after 9-11, he gave people a sense of comfort.
02:52:09.000 That's right.
02:52:10.000 That's what you want.
02:52:11.000 You see people craving it.
02:52:12.000 We're craving it.
02:52:13.000 That's why when Cuomo and Newsom speak, and they just give you reassuring Very controlled.
02:52:23.000 People gravitate.
02:52:24.000 You're just like, okay, you just want to hear that.
02:52:27.000 Giuliani was the same way after 9-11.
02:52:29.000 It was like, okay, you're making me feel better.
02:52:31.000 That made Giuliani's reputation the way he handled it.
02:52:35.000 100%.
02:52:35.000 Like a leader.
02:52:36.000 100%.
02:52:38.000 You don't pit people against each other in a tragedy.
02:52:41.000 But it's unfortunate that he can't see that, and he keeps getting caught.
02:52:45.000 It's like he's boxing with someone who's piecing him up.
02:52:49.000 These things keep happening, so he keeps having these exchanges where these heated exchanges and words get said.
02:52:56.000 Bizarre.
02:52:57.000 It's really strange.
02:52:58.000 The last one was the one where he went off the fucking script where he was talking about therapies.
02:53:03.000 Maybe we could get some disinfection.
02:53:05.000 It kills it in a minute.
02:53:06.000 We'll put it in there.
02:53:07.000 A cleansing.
02:53:08.000 You see the woman next to her eyes coming out of her head.
02:53:11.000 She's taking deep breaths so she doesn't pass out in the middle of it.
02:53:14.000 She was like...
02:53:15.000 Holy fuck.
02:53:16.000 So then after that, he responds that he was sarcastic.
02:53:20.000 The reporter's asking him, he said he was sarcastic.
02:53:23.000 He should have said, look, I'm not a doctor.
02:53:25.000 This is just an idea.
02:53:26.000 Because that's really what it was.
02:53:27.000 It was like, I might have done that on a podcast.
02:53:31.000 I'd have to be drunk.
02:53:31.000 You'd have to be drunk.
02:53:32.000 You'd have to be out of your mind.
02:53:34.000 I've never seen you smoke that much weed.
02:53:37.000 I can get there if you leave me alone long enough.
02:53:39.000 I'll say something that dumb.
02:53:40.000 I've said the dumbest shit of my life on this podcast.
02:53:42.000 Hi.
02:53:43.000 Not that high.
02:53:44.000 But here's the thing that came out of it, which is really fascinating.
02:53:47.000 There was an actual publicly traded biotech company that came up with an idea to get, when intubated people, to get an ultraviolet light tube down through that into the lungs and illuminate.
02:54:01.000 Because using ultraviolet light, you can kill bacteria.
02:54:03.000 Right.
02:54:04.000 You can kill viruses.
02:54:05.000 And that's one of the reasons why they have those things like SteriPens where you go backpacking.
02:54:10.000 You can get some water out of a creek and you just use this ultraviolet light.
02:54:13.000 It kills everything inside that water.
02:54:15.000 So they actually had this bio company, publicly traded company, put out this video on how this can be done.
02:54:22.000 Well, their account was banned from Twitter.
02:54:25.000 Oh, really?
02:54:26.000 Is it a real company?
02:54:27.000 Yes, it's a real company.
02:54:28.000 And they let them back eventually.
02:54:29.000 Yeah.
02:54:30.000 But this is how toxic this relationship with the president is.
02:54:32.000 Right.
02:54:32.000 Where the president says something on TV. Yeah.
02:54:35.000 And then people go, what the fuck did you say?
02:54:38.000 Get light into people?
02:54:39.000 And then this publicly traded biotech company is like, actually, we've already been working on that.
02:54:43.000 And this is the concept.
02:54:44.000 And this is the science behind it because UV light kills back.
02:54:47.000 Fuck you.
02:54:48.000 You're banned.
02:54:49.000 They banned They banned them.
02:54:50.000 They banned a biotech company from Twitter.
02:54:53.000 Now, they brought them back once it was explained to them.
02:54:55.000 But any other time in history, like say if this was going on 10 years ago, and there was a virus, and the virus is infecting people's respiratory systems, and someone said, while these people are being intubated, we can actually stick a light through the same tube that the ventilator uses,
02:55:11.000 and we'll illuminate the lungs.
02:55:12.000 We could actually probably kill a good deal of this bacteria.
02:55:15.000 People are like, oh, medical breakthrough.
02:55:17.000 Right.
02:55:18.000 But you've had a complete disintegration, right?
02:55:21.000 That's the result of a breakdown.
02:55:23.000 And that's why it doesn't work in communist countries.
02:55:26.000 You can't trust the source for your information.
02:55:29.000 That's what we're at in a democracy.
02:55:31.000 No one can trust the source.
02:55:32.000 We're all scrambling.
02:55:34.000 Does this one know?
02:55:35.000 Does this one know?
02:55:36.000 Does this one know?
02:55:36.000 But it's a direct result of his toxic relationship with the press.
02:55:40.000 Yes.
02:55:40.000 Because people who are with him are so with him and people who are against him are so against him.
02:55:45.000 And it's almost like people with him, part of the reason why they're with him is because they're so against all these other fucking whiny, bitchy, liberal people that fucking, that side's just so annoying.
02:55:54.000 I'm going with Trump.
02:55:55.000 He tells him to fuck off.
02:55:56.000 That's my favorite part.
02:55:57.000 Right.
02:55:58.000 He makes those people angry.
02:56:00.000 Yeah.
02:56:01.000 It's a terrible relationship.
02:56:03.000 It's bad for everybody.
02:56:04.000 It's awful because if at any moment we should be uniting and taking care of each other, it's now.
02:56:10.000 It could make a big difference to us because it's like if someone could get on television and come up with something that was not just comforting but actually accurate and useful.
02:56:20.000 Give us something to do.
02:56:22.000 Tell us what to do.
02:56:23.000 And if we could all act as one for the good of the country, we would come out of this stronger, better, ready to go.
02:56:30.000 Our whole life, we grew up thinking, we're Americans.
02:56:34.000 We can do anything.
02:56:35.000 We can do it.
02:56:35.000 Just give us a challenge.
02:56:37.000 We can do it.
02:56:38.000 And to now have this breakdown like, no, we're split apart and doing separate things.
02:56:43.000 Not only that, it's the only time in people's lives where things are failing, businesses are failing, and they did everything right.
02:56:50.000 Right, I know.
02:56:51.000 They did all the right things.
02:56:52.000 Right, working hard, doing the thing, busting ass.
02:56:55.000 They were smart.
02:56:56.000 They saved their money.
02:56:58.000 They invested.
02:56:59.000 They got a thing going.
02:57:00.000 It's getting going, and we got a successful business.
02:57:02.000 They developed a great relationship in the community, and then...
02:57:05.000 That's right.
02:57:06.000 Shut down for months.
02:57:07.000 No.
02:57:08.000 Rent's piling up.
02:57:09.000 No one's getting paid.
02:57:10.000 Your mortgage is due.
02:57:11.000 Your car payment's due.
02:57:13.000 Your credit cards are due.
02:57:14.000 You gotta buy food.
02:57:15.000 Fuck.
02:57:15.000 And you see how quick that goes away.
02:57:17.000 So quick.
02:57:18.000 So when you hear shit like, stay at home until July, fuck.
02:57:21.000 Fuck you.
02:57:23.000 Fuck you.
02:57:23.000 You can't just say that.
02:57:24.000 No, you can't just say that.
02:57:26.000 Well, I think it's from a healthcare person who's making the suggestion, but I think the...
02:57:30.000 It's not the right decision.
02:57:31.000 There's other options.
02:57:33.000 I think a better option is quarantining the people that are sick.
02:57:35.000 I don't know if that's possible, because I'm a moron.
02:57:39.000 Sounds good to me.
02:57:41.000 But I think it's not even my idea.
02:57:43.000 It's an idea that everybody's had.
02:57:44.000 A lot of people have had.
02:57:45.000 If you're really vulnerable, don't go.
02:57:47.000 If you've got a bad knee, you don't get to ski.
02:57:50.000 It's true.
02:57:51.000 Right?
02:57:51.000 It's true.
02:57:52.000 Yeah.
02:57:52.000 It's true.
02:57:53.000 We'll be all right, Joe.
02:57:54.000 We're going to be okay.
02:57:55.000 We better be Tom Papa.
02:57:56.000 We're going to be all right.
02:57:57.000 I'm getting bored.
02:57:59.000 I know, me too.
02:58:00.000 I can't wait.
02:58:01.000 Oh, I can't wait to be walking into the club, seeing you in the back, hearing the crowd out front.
02:58:07.000 I know.
02:58:08.000 All that energy.
02:58:09.000 I'm looking forward to a lot of things.
02:58:10.000 Yeah, me too.
02:58:11.000 I'm looking forward to a lot of things.
02:58:12.000 Musso and Franks.
02:58:13.000 I'm looking forward to not feeling bad.
02:58:15.000 Not about me, not at all.
02:58:18.000 About seeing all these stories.
02:58:20.000 I was reading this guy's Twitter page, this jujitsu guy that I follow, and there's this lady who owns this gym.
02:58:28.000 It's Tom DeBlass, T-O-M-D-E-B-L-A-S-S. On his Instagram, he had photos of this lady crying because her gym is going under and this gym that she's had for 10 years and that they can't survive it.
02:58:45.000 And so you see shit like that and you're like, this is another example, like someone who didn't do anything wrong.
02:58:49.000 I know.
02:58:50.000 And then all their hard work just goes away.
02:58:52.000 This is the lady.
02:58:53.000 It's horrible, man.
02:58:54.000 Yeah, that's terrible.
02:58:55.000 It's horrible.
02:58:57.000 I know.
02:58:59.000 What is the name of the gym?
02:58:59.000 She'll rally.
02:59:00.000 She's motivated.
02:59:01.000 If she could build that business, she'll be back.
02:59:04.000 Ironside Fitness Gym.
02:59:05.000 She can do it.
02:59:07.000 She'll go into personal training.
02:59:08.000 Yeah, see at the bottom if you can find that.
02:59:11.000 Ironside.
02:59:11.000 What is the Instagram account?
02:59:14.000 It's not?
02:59:15.000 He didn't tag it?
02:59:16.000 Yeah.
02:59:17.000 Well, I don't know where that is.
02:59:19.000 I think he's a Jersey guy.
02:59:20.000 Yeah.
02:59:22.000 Fuck, man.
02:59:23.000 Yeah, I know.
02:59:24.000 Just that kind of shit.
02:59:25.000 I know.
02:59:25.000 Let's get out of this already.
02:59:26.000 And then, of course, the people that have lost their lives, that's way worse.
02:59:30.000 Of course, of course.
02:59:30.000 Of course, that's way worse.
02:59:31.000 No one's saying it's not.
02:59:32.000 But this is fucking sad, too, man.
02:59:35.000 Yeah.
02:59:35.000 Sad that people build up these incredible communities.
02:59:38.000 They build up this relationship with their customers and the people around them, and it all goes away.
02:59:45.000 Yeah.
02:59:45.000 No, it's brutal.
02:59:46.000 I know, it's hard.
02:59:47.000 From China!
02:59:49.000 China.
02:59:49.000 All because of China.
02:59:51.000 Ask them.
02:59:52.000 Just turn down the cha.
02:59:53.000 What bad luck he got that that lady was Asian.
02:59:56.000 If she said that, if he was talking to anyone else, and they said that they wouldn't be able to say, why are you saying that specifically to me?
03:00:08.000 Like if it was a black man asking her that question, or asking him that question.
03:00:14.000 Why are you asking China?
03:00:16.000 Why are you saying that specifically to me?
03:00:18.000 She pulls the mask down.
03:00:19.000 Why to me?
03:00:20.000 Oh no.
03:00:21.000 I know.
03:00:22.000 And also she's like yelling with no mask on now.
03:00:25.000 Yeah.
03:00:25.000 Like you're violating all the rules.
03:00:28.000 You can't just get mad.
03:00:29.000 Like fuck everybody.
03:00:30.000 You're gonna die.
03:00:31.000 Yeah.
03:00:34.000 Spray her.
03:00:35.000 The worst.
03:00:36.000 Virus breath everywhere.
03:00:37.000 Horrible environment.
03:00:38.000 What for him, man?
03:00:39.000 He must be like, I can't win.
03:00:41.000 Horrible environment.
03:00:42.000 All I did in my life is win.
03:00:43.000 Win, win, win, win, win.
03:00:44.000 Rappers used to put me in their songs!
03:00:46.000 When he came out and talked about the ratings that he was getting off of these, it was just like, alright, I can't.
03:00:51.000 He said the ratings were higher than the season final of The Bachelor.
03:00:55.000 Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
03:00:58.000 That's when I was like, this is not real.
03:00:59.000 What are you talking?
03:01:00.000 This can't be real.
03:01:01.000 What are you thinking?
03:01:02.000 This can't be real.
03:01:03.000 Yeah, it's so crazy.
03:01:05.000 That's the opposite of what we're saying George Bush did after 9-11.
03:01:08.000 Right.
03:01:09.000 Rally.
03:01:09.000 Yes.
03:01:10.000 Be a leader.
03:01:10.000 That's what leadership is.
03:01:11.000 Say something that makes you get inspired.
03:01:15.000 Ronald Reagan was the best at that shit, man.
03:01:16.000 Oh, yeah.
03:01:17.000 Just rally you.
03:01:18.000 You made you feel like, oh, we can do it.
03:01:20.000 We could do anything.
03:01:21.000 Before people hated him, they didn't hate him really until like a second term though, right?
03:01:25.000 Yeah.
03:01:27.000 By the end, people were really mad at him.
03:01:29.000 Parts of the country always disliked him.
03:01:32.000 If you were poor, if you were a minority, you were never a fan.
03:01:36.000 But he would give a speech.
03:01:39.000 Yeah.
03:01:40.000 Oh man.
03:01:40.000 With a powerful voice.
03:01:41.000 He was an actor.
03:01:42.000 He was an actor.
03:01:44.000 He's a reality shit-stir.
03:01:47.000 That's what those, right?
03:01:48.000 That's what reality stars are.
03:01:49.000 They stir shit up.
03:01:50.000 Right.
03:01:51.000 Reagan was an actor.
03:01:52.000 He could give you the big monologue.
03:01:55.000 Yeah.
03:01:55.000 Yeah.
03:01:55.000 It's a difference.
03:01:56.000 Do you remember when he's, I don't know if you ever saw this, but he was addressing the United Nations and he was talking about how quickly we would all join together if we were faced with a force from outside this world.
03:02:07.000 Right.
03:02:07.000 Yeah.
03:02:08.000 It's a crazy speech.
03:02:09.000 Yeah.
03:02:10.000 Because all the UFO people went nuts.
03:02:11.000 He knows!
03:02:12.000 He fucking knows!
03:02:14.000 Right.
03:02:14.000 It's a great speech, though.
03:02:15.000 Yeah.
03:02:16.000 Because it's true.
03:02:17.000 Yeah.
03:02:17.000 It's true.
03:02:18.000 Like, we would realize all our differences are bullshit.
03:02:21.000 Right.
03:02:21.000 If aliens had invaded us, we would all unite as human beings.
03:02:24.000 Right.
03:02:25.000 That's what's weird about this.
03:02:27.000 You could kind of have that moment now.
03:02:28.000 Yes, exactly.
03:02:29.000 That's why I brought it up.
03:02:31.000 Someone could say that.
03:02:33.000 We need to unite.
03:02:35.000 Someone could say...
03:02:36.000 This is us.
03:02:36.000 But they have to say it in a way...
03:02:38.000 People of planet Earth.
03:02:39.000 It can't be self-congratulatory.
03:02:41.000 Not at all.
03:02:41.000 You take yourself out of it.
03:02:42.000 But he does too much of that.
03:02:44.000 You put it in the power of the people you're talking to.
03:02:46.000 That's the technique.
03:02:47.000 But imagine being him where your whole life you've gotten ahead because you're self-congratulatory.
03:02:53.000 That's his whole thing.
03:02:54.000 Yeah.
03:02:54.000 That's his whole thing.
03:02:55.000 His whole thing is just letting everybody know you're the shit.
03:02:59.000 And then all of a sudden you can't do that anymore.
03:03:00.000 How much can you make an adjustment in your 70s while you're the president?
03:03:04.000 And you have to make an adjustment and be someone who you've never been.
03:03:07.000 All of a sudden you're not the shit.
03:03:09.000 You can't even say you're the shit.
03:03:11.000 What a terrible job.
03:03:15.000 So awful.
03:03:16.000 I'd much rather be a comedian.
03:03:18.000 Or you'd much rather be publishing.
03:03:20.000 Tom Popper, you're doing great.
03:03:22.000 It's available now everywhere.
03:03:24.000 Audiobook available now everywhere as well.
03:03:26.000 Yeah, audiobook too, for sure.
03:03:27.000 Yeah.
03:03:27.000 Thanks for writing the blurb.
03:03:28.000 And other reasons to stay alive.
03:03:29.000 My pleasure, brother.
03:03:30.000 Yeah, really cool.
03:03:31.000 Thanks to the bread.
03:03:32.000 I appreciate you, always.
03:03:33.000 And have to come out on the podcast.
03:03:34.000 Yes, we'll do it.
03:03:35.000 Teach me your ways.
03:03:36.000 Breaking bread, baby.
03:03:37.000 Wizard bread making.
03:03:39.000 And where is the podcast available, the Breaking Bread?
03:03:41.000 Wherever your podcasts are, wherever you get them.
03:03:44.000 Visual as well.
03:03:45.000 On YouTube, yeah.
03:03:46.000 YouTube.
03:03:46.000 Yeah, me and Segura do the first one together.
03:03:49.000 Beautiful, beautiful.
03:03:49.000 And it was really great.
03:03:50.000 He told all these great stories about his grandmother, his mom making all these sweets.
03:03:56.000 I'm telling you, just once you start talking about food, we'll have to talk more about your grandparents and everything.
03:04:00.000 We'll do it, for sure.
03:04:00.000 All right, cool.
03:04:01.000 I love you, buddy.
03:04:02.000 You're the best.
03:04:02.000 Love you, too.
03:04:03.000 Bye, everybody.
03:04:05.000 So good.
03:04:06.000 That was fun.
03:04:08.000 Really good.