Joe Rogan Experience #1502 - Russell Peters
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 28 minutes
Words per Minute
206.62332
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the new laws that are being passed in LA that are making it hard for people to go out in the sun without getting sick. We also talk about how to deal with the growing homeless population in California and how to keep them safe from the sun in the summertime. We also discuss the new law that was passed by the Supreme Court that makes it illegal to drink alcohol on the beaches. And finally, we answer your burning questions. If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms. We appreciate your support and look forward to seeing you in the next episode! Cheers, Joe & Rory Music by Jeff Kaale ( ) Art: Mackenzie Moore ( ) Music: Hayden Coplen ( ) Editor: Will Witwer ( ) Editing: Ben Kuklinski ( ) Special thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink Co. Co. ( ) and the people who helped make this podcast possible. Logo by Courtney DeKorte ( ) Logo by Riley Braydon Hill ( ) Art: Jeff Kaal ( ) Photography by Brian Callen ( ) Additional music by Haley Shaw ( ) Thank you, Joseph ( ) for the music we used for the intro and outro music ( ) by John Rocha ( ) Thanks to and by ( ) , & , , and . for the work of our sponsors ( ) ( ) & , & ( ), and our thanks to , ( ) is a tribute to our good friend, . . . ( . , ) and , , and ( ) . & our thanks , etc. . ) is a little bit in the music by , our thanks, on the music is by . ( ) in this episode ( ) by our ad music is ) by our sponsor ( ) on this episode is , we hope you like it ( ) so we can be heard on this week's cover art by our music is so beautiful so much so that we can help us out in this week s , the rest of the podcast is and we hope they get a chance to help us make it better next week ( ) to make us feel like this episode better
Transcript
00:00:21.000
I got it from Evan Funke, who's the head chef of Felix, and they were preparing to reopen.
00:00:36.000
And they came in, him and the owner, Janet, came in to do a podcast and they gave me some steaks.
00:00:47.000
They were about to reopen and now they got shut down again.
00:00:53.000
I don't believe they do and I don't even think you're allowed to do that now.
00:00:59.000
You're just not allowed to eat indoors, as far as I go.
00:01:02.000
I went to the deli by my house yesterday, and I went, can I sit inside?
00:01:07.000
And they were like, no, it's not allowed anymore.
00:01:11.000
They were going to do something at the comedy store where they were going to serve chicken fingers and just food and allow people to drink.
00:01:17.000
And just start opening it as a restaurant only.
00:01:21.000
Yeah, I saw that and I guess it's not happening now?
00:01:23.000
No, they shut it down because right when they were about to do it, then LA shut down the restaurants.
00:01:32.000
And what's extra shitty about it is You know, they were almost out of the woods.
00:01:41.000
California spiked harder than everyone else almost.
00:01:49.000
And people want to pretend it's not the protesting.
00:02:00.000
You get a few sick people, and you get 10,000 people, 50,000 people huddled together, people are going to get sick.
00:02:07.000
Yeah, and they're that close yelling at each other.
00:02:12.000
Apparently, particularly at night times when it spreads because Brett Weinstein, who's a biologist who's on the podcast, sent me a paper that said that there's a recent study that shows that COVID-19 dies almost instantly when it hits sunlight.
00:02:28.000
Yeah, that's why it's ridiculous they closed the beaches.
00:02:37.000
Wear your mask when you're getting up and leaving, and then when you're sitting down, stay away from everybody, and everybody will be fine.
00:02:45.000
The problem is that people are not going to listen, you know?
00:02:47.000
Yeah, but I mean, still, I mean, fucking, you got a much better chance of it dying out there by the beach.
00:02:53.000
And, you know, Fourth of July weekend, they did it.
00:03:05.000
The state of California or the state of the country?
00:03:08.000
But California, in particular, because there's so many cases.
00:03:22.000
They used to have them under the bridges here in the valley.
00:03:26.000
He works down there, and he was telling me how insane it is.
00:03:32.000
They have it set up now or they have like a community.
00:03:35.000
And then you have to stay socially distant inside the tent community and a bunch of people don't want to follow the rules.
00:03:43.000
So you have the people inside the tent community that are set up with, you know, six foot distance.
00:03:51.000
They're using the veterans something or another, the VA. They have some large yard.
00:03:57.000
And then outside of the fence, they have the people that are rule breakers.
00:04:07.000
They don't want to deal with the socially distanced.
00:04:09.000
If you're inside the tents that they've set up and created for you, you have to follow the rules.
00:04:13.000
So the ones that are following the rules are probably the homeless people that just, you know, Took a bad turn financially, and then the other ones that are acting up, probably the drug ones.
00:04:26.000
But they're saying that like it's a good thing.
00:04:32.000
But, you know, this is going to, first of all, this is going to crush property values.
00:04:37.000
Not that property values are the most important thing, don't get me wrong, but they're an important thing.
00:04:44.000
And if someone has invested all their money into their home, and they're hoping to sell their home, and then all of a sudden the home values drop radically because nobody wants to live right next door to a tent city.
00:04:55.000
See if there's any photos of that fucking thing.
00:05:00.000
Maybe they're trying to hide it because they're trying to make it...
00:05:06.000
There's sugarcoating, and then there's the fucking overreactors.
00:05:20.000
I have a friend who got COVID. He's 37. He was clear of it in three days.
00:05:29.000
Three days later, he was on Z-Pak and something else and just stayed home and he got vitamin IVs every day.
00:05:35.000
And then three days later, he's going on a 25-mile bike ride.
00:05:40.000
I don't know if it's a good idea to go on that bike ride, by the way.
00:05:42.000
But I want to see what happens, so I'm not saying anything.
00:05:47.000
I want to see if it makes him feel like shit if he goes on the bike ride or if he feels great.
00:05:51.000
I was talking to DL, because, you know, he just got diagnosed.
00:06:08.000
It's because he probably smoked a joint right before that.
00:06:12.000
But it was scary watching him just slump into unconsciousness on stage.
00:06:15.000
And whoever that guy is that caught him, that guy's a fucking hero.
00:06:20.000
Well, his road manager is a fucking hero, because if D.L. fell, he would have smashed his head on that stage, and you got real problems then.
00:06:27.000
Because he was just sitting there, and he slurred his words, and the audience was like, what the fuck did you just say?
00:06:38.000
I only just found out there was a video of it like two nights ago because Cedric was at my house.
00:06:50.000
He's a really smart guy, but a really good guy, too.
00:07:01.000
So he's on stage, and I guess his road manager fellow, that guy right there, gives him a drink of water.
00:07:09.000
He puts the water down, and this doesn't have any volume, unfortunately.
00:07:40.000
Look, that guy, that road manager is a fucking hero.
00:07:54.000
But first of all, the way they drag him off the fucking stage, like, hey guys, one of you pussies actually carry him?
00:07:59.000
They didn't even let him finish his set, though.
00:08:01.000
They're dragging him, though, bouncing off the...
00:08:11.000
And they were like, yeah, right, you don't have nothing under control.
00:08:19.000
The real scary thing was the slurring of the words.
00:08:23.000
He was at my house about less than a month before that happened.
00:08:27.000
One night on May 30th, I had them over with cigars in the backyard, socially distancing.
00:08:35.000
It was me, Cedric, DL, Jay Phillips, Dwayne Martin, and we're just hanging out and having drinks.
00:08:47.000
I'll do a midday cigar and a little midday bourbon.
00:09:05.000
Yeah, it's good because it gives the energy of the room, you know?
00:09:31.000
You know, because of you, my other move is the in-arm choke.
00:09:37.000
And so whenever I get it, or I get in position for it, Sean Jack will be like, Joe Hogan choke!
00:09:50.000
I was using my neck so much to squeeze against dude's arms.
00:09:55.000
Yeah, but you're actually using your neck rather to hold someone's arm into place.
00:10:08.000
So, it's nice to hear that you've been training, man.
00:10:18.000
It became legal, and then I don't know if it's still legal.
00:10:21.000
But I was doing it with Jay Zabellos and Mark Armstrong, whom you both know, I would imagine.
00:10:46.000
Those guys that teach, there's something to be said about teaching.
00:10:49.000
I've often wondered whether or not that would actually translate to comedy as well.
00:10:53.000
Because teaching martial arts makes you way better at it.
00:10:57.000
When I got really good at Taekwondo, one of the ways I got really good was I was teaching all the time.
00:11:01.000
And there's something about that teaching all the time.
00:11:06.000
My friend Brent, he was one of Eddie Bravo's teachers, one of his instructors.
00:11:12.000
When I first started rolling with him, we were both like purple belts together.
00:11:22.000
And when he started teaching, he jumped up, like, huge!
00:11:29.000
I don't remember how we used to go, but it was close.
00:11:33.000
But then once he started teaching, man, he became fucking super dangerous, man.
00:11:46.000
Training with Mark and Jay every day for like a month and a half.
00:11:51.000
Like my game completely changed from, I used to just, you know, you rolled with me last year, so, and I always tell people what a fucking gorilla you are.
00:12:03.000
That's what it's like, rolling with a fucking gorilla.
00:12:08.000
Yeah, so my game was always just defend, you know.
00:12:14.000
I wasn't going to get you, but you weren't going to get me.
00:12:19.000
So that's what my game became after that as well.
00:12:23.000
Something happened and I became from defensive to offensive now.
00:12:30.000
And that's the thing that people don't enjoy doing.
00:12:34.000
They really enjoy sparring because it's so fun.
00:12:36.000
Eddie Bravo explained that to me once a long time ago.
00:12:38.000
He's like, everybody loves to spar because it's so fun, but they don't work enough time, spend enough time, rather, on really developing new moves.
00:12:45.000
But if you spend enough time on developing new moves, then the sparring becomes so much better.
00:12:49.000
But you just have to be disciplined to do the drilling.
00:12:56.000
But if you do it, and you do it with sincerity, you have to do it like almost think about it like you're actually pulling it off.
00:13:05.000
Because a lot of times guys go through the motions with drills, and they don't think of it as something that they are really doing.
00:13:11.000
They're just kind of like, oh yeah, this is how I do it.
00:13:14.000
But they don't think they're actually applying the choke.
00:13:16.000
But if you could think of it as like, this is really happening.
00:13:29.000
And in that sparring, the same thing will happen.
00:13:36.000
And it's like, when that stuff happens, it's so satisfying.
00:13:40.000
I made the biggest leap from blue belt to purple belt.
00:13:43.000
And that was because I was hanging out with Eddie, and we were drilling a lot.
00:13:54.000
He was a really good purple belt when I first met him.
00:14:00.000
And then when he went off to, in 2003, when he went to Sao Paulo, he was a brown belt.
00:14:07.000
And then he tapped Hoyler, and then when he came back, Sean Jock gave him his black belt.
00:14:16.000
He tapped Gustavo Dantes in the first fight, and then he tapped Hoyler Gracie.
00:14:22.000
And then I heard Hoist chased him down in the parking lot or something.
00:14:27.000
That was the second time he had a matchup with Hoyler.
00:14:35.000
It's just sometimes people get things twisted and then you don't see each other in real life.
00:14:40.000
If you talk to Eddie Bravo about Hoist Gracie, it was never anything but respect.
00:15:07.000
And I'm like, I never really understood the connection.
00:15:09.000
I'm like, a lot of the fighter guys that I... A lot of fighter people that I follow are all into guns.
00:15:16.000
Some sort of survivalist mentality, I would imagine.
00:15:18.000
Our newest reserve police officer spent hours in the rain going through training drills and completing the Idaho post-firearms qualification.
00:15:29.000
If there's a Mount Rushmore of martial arts, there's only one face that is absolutely on there, and that's that guy.
00:15:36.000
There's not a fucking doubt in my mind that guy's face needs to be out.
00:15:40.000
And Martin Short, too, in the middle, apparently.
00:15:43.000
They really can't be a Mount Rushmore of martial arts because there's not enough heads.
00:15:49.000
Even if you had a Mount Rushmore of MMA, how are you only going to have four heads?
00:15:55.000
There's a lot of people that came in and changed the game.
00:16:03.000
Two-division world champion, dominated the welterweights, revolutionized the way people think about athletes training for MMA. When he was at the peak of his championship skills, he was unstoppable, man.
00:16:17.000
When he beat John Fitch, when he smashed BJ Penn, like, those days...
00:16:21.000
And then he came back after retirement and beat Bisping.
00:16:24.000
Then beat Bisping at 85 and put him to sleep with a rear naked choke.
00:16:28.000
He actually looked better after four years out.
00:16:40.000
But you watch those Mighty Mouse fights back when Mighty Mouse beat Cejudo for the first time, when he beat, I mean, fucking the Ray Borg one when he threw him to the air and caught him in an arm bar on the way down.
00:16:55.000
Mighty Mouse, when he was in his peak, was something really special.
00:16:59.000
I have a friend of mine who trains with Mighty Mouse.
00:17:10.000
Yeah, they have some really tough fighters over there, and Mighty Mouse is still stomping them.
00:17:15.000
Yeah, I'm hearing that 1 might try and start up by the fall out here in America.
00:17:31.000
I don't know, but I think the rest of the world's opening up, but they're not letting Americans in.
00:17:41.000
It's funny, because America was the one that was stopping everybody from coming in.
00:17:45.000
Now the rest of the world's like, hey, hey, wait there for a second, you fuckers.
00:17:58.000
There seems to be like a blind entitlement with a lot of Americans where they...
00:18:07.000
But can you just listen to a little bit of reason for a minute?
00:18:20.000
But for the betterment of the rest of the country, if you could just wait a little bit.
00:18:30.000
My friend who's 37, I don't want to say his name because I don't think he's talked about it yet.
00:18:33.000
But when he got it, he was a little bummed out at first.
00:18:38.000
And then two days later, he's like, this ain't shit.
00:18:40.000
Three days later, he was like, no symptoms at all.
00:18:49.000
I did the finger one, the blood one, and the nose swab.
00:19:00.000
Yeah, but dude, if you had it, that FDA-approved antibodies test that concierge MD uses, they would catch it.
00:19:07.000
I think that a lot of people thought they had it because there's the regular flu and there's regular colds.
00:19:17.000
And then a lot of people, I think a lot of the testing results are getting marked wrong.
00:19:25.000
Listen, I had a friend pass away during this whole thing.
00:19:29.000
He died of cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer.
00:19:33.000
And because they did a COVID test, they said it's COVID related.
00:19:38.000
And I'm like, come on, that's fucking bullshit.
00:19:40.000
Because I spoke to the doctor less than 24 hours before he passed away, and the doctor said he's got three to six months.
00:19:46.000
There's quite a few cases of people that were literally at death's door from cardiopulmonary disease, and they got COVID and died, and they called it a COVID death.
00:19:56.000
He was like, I understand because a lot of these hospitals are privately funded.
00:20:01.000
Privately owned, and that's something I didn't really even consider.
00:20:04.000
I always thought a hospital was like some sort of state-run thing.
00:20:09.000
See, I'm from, again, I'm from Canada where they're all government-run.
00:20:15.000
And basically, this guy was saying, look, the doctors are doing their best.
00:20:20.000
And it's not that they want to be deceptive, and it's not that they're doing it anyway.
00:20:30.000
And if there's an incentive for them to call something a COVID death and they receive extra funds, especially in a time like this, where they're really hurting financially, it makes sense, but it really highlights...
00:20:44.000
Why a state-funded medical, you know, some sort of a...
00:20:57.000
But it's pretty good that you don't have to pay.
00:21:00.000
You need something extra done, yeah, you might be better off paying a little extra to get something done.
00:21:07.000
But as far as, like, regular shit, you know, you get a cold, go to the doctor.
00:21:13.000
Yeah, well, I have friends that have had real problems, like shoulder problems and knee problems.
00:21:19.000
They need surgery and they've come to America to get it.
00:21:25.000
The treatment he wanted or needed was in Philadelphia.
00:21:33.000
Stuff that costs more money where the doctors get...
00:21:36.000
They have an incentive to become excellent, right?
00:21:42.000
But then the Canadian government still picked up the tab for it.
00:21:47.000
Yeah, because it was a service that wasn't available in Canada.
00:21:51.000
Yeah, so they were like, all right, we'll get it.
00:21:56.000
It is weird that it's divisive, too, because it literally benefits everybody.
00:22:02.000
Because the people that are healthy at the time are arguing about it.
00:22:10.000
But you would think that these politicians would be for it, too, because they're all old as shit.
00:22:16.000
And they've been corrupt and taken money on the take.
00:22:19.000
Like, I'm a Bernie Sanders fan, and that's one of the things that I really like about what Bernie Sanders was saying.
00:22:26.000
You know, Bernie Sanders was saying that it should be a fundamental right as an American citizen to have health care.
00:22:33.000
It should be a fundamental right as a human being anywhere in the world.
00:22:36.000
The way I look at it, I mean, people have all these little weird arguments about it, but the way I looked at it was like, aren't we a community?
00:22:44.000
So if we're a community, shouldn't we, if we're going to take care of things, we should take care of fire department, right?
00:22:50.000
You should have a fire department, tax dollars pay for that.
00:22:53.000
You should have a police department, tax dollars pay for that.
00:22:57.000
All those things should be, there should be all those things taken care of.
00:23:01.000
Again, I've only been here 14 years, so I'm learning about the education system now in America.
00:23:12.000
When Obama was talking about it and they were trying to get the Affordable Care Act passed...
00:23:22.000
But it seems like, you know, what is it, nine years later?
00:23:34.000
Yeah, wasn't it in the middle or the beginning of his second term?
00:23:37.000
Or the end of his first term, somewhere around there?
00:23:53.000
Some people got it taken away from him already.
00:23:57.000
And then there was also the people that were against the Obamacare because they said it made their rates go up.
00:24:05.000
Yeah, there was a bunch of people that were doctors that were upset about it.
00:24:09.000
They were saying it was too expensive for them.
00:24:12.000
There's just so much fucking red tape and everything nowadays.
00:24:25.000
You plug something in, the Union Electric guys.
00:24:30.000
I did a movie last summer, and I became friends with all the drivers because they were all Teamster guys, and they were all Italian.
00:24:37.000
And I would just break their balls when we were driving back and forth.
00:24:42.000
It's like lunchtime would come, and they'd be like, Hey, Russell, Mikey C says don't go to lunch.
00:25:02.000
Part of the problem in this country, we got a lot of people.
00:25:06.000
Humans are designed to live in little villages, I think.
00:25:09.000
I think when you get us into these big, large groups of people, shit gets weird.
00:25:13.000
Yeah, well, everybody wants to establish their dominance.
00:25:19.000
Everybody wants to establish that their way is the best way.
00:25:44.000
Two weeks before that, I did the American Comedy Club in San Diego.
00:25:59.000
And then Miami, I was getting a little leery of the numbers and the stats coming out, so I would literally stay in my hotel room until showtime, go to the show, do my shows, no meet and greet, and bounce right back to the hotel.
00:26:23.000
Yeah, I'm taking a bunch of vitamins, like some stupid amount, you know, like 20,000 or something like that.
00:26:46.000
The best way to get vitamin D is really from the sun.
00:26:48.000
Yeah, was it 15 minutes at a time or something?
00:26:52.000
And I got this stupid sunspot right here that I'm always paranoid about.
00:27:01.000
Tried lasering it off a few times, but again, in California, it's difficult when I go to these places.
00:27:20.000
It was a tiny light spot, looked like a splash.
00:27:25.000
No, and then it just, you know, just hyperpigmentation.
00:27:28.000
As you get older, your skin gets weaker, I imagine.
00:27:31.000
Yeah, a lot of folks get those weird little black, like Morgan Freeman's got those weird little black spots that stick out of his face.
00:27:43.000
Again, I think I'm getting them somewhere on my neck I've got one of those now.
00:27:59.000
He's like one of those guys, if he's in a movie, I'm comforted.
00:28:13.000
You know, he's got a solid head of hair and a great voice.
00:28:19.000
Not that our generation didn't have any James Earl Jones, but he's like our second backup James Earl Jones.
00:28:34.000
Yeah, the guy from the Green Book, the black dude.
00:28:42.000
I think he did a Broadway version of Jack Johnson or something in 2000. Oh, no shit.
00:28:54.000
Like, he doesn't seem like a big dude, but he looks a lot like him there.
00:28:59.000
But Jack Johnson had those giant 13-inch wrists.
00:29:17.000
That's my favorite fighter of all time, Jack Johnson.
00:29:22.000
I mean, that guy was knocking out white people at the turn of the 20th century.
00:29:29.000
He wouldn't just knock you out because he knew he could knock you out.
00:29:32.000
He would hit you in the jaws of your knees, buck, and snap in and hold you up.
00:29:39.000
You're going to have a long night tonight, boss.
00:29:49.000
That to me is like the ultimate fucking gangster move.
00:29:52.000
I have one of those Roots of Fight shirts with him, and it says the Galveston Giant.
00:29:56.000
But when you look up how big he was, he wasn't very big.
00:30:27.000
His fucking forearms are bigger than his biceps almost.
00:30:34.000
You know, he fought middleweight Stanley Ketchel.
00:30:40.000
And Ketchel tried to knock him out and dropped him.
00:30:42.000
Yeah, and that's when he got right up and then knocked him out and his teeth got embedded into his glove.
00:30:48.000
Well, back then when they had gloves, their gloves were like bag gloves.
00:30:52.000
They were tiny ass little gloves with horse hair in them.
00:30:55.000
And you could pack the horse hair down and guys would squirt water into their, they'd make like a small incision, squirt water into their gloves and pack the horse hair down to make it hard.
00:31:07.000
You ever felt those gloves and the leather's really coarse?
00:31:21.000
Imagine if you take a guy like that and train him today.
00:31:25.000
Just the character that you would have to have to be the heavyweight champ in the world when, I mean, racism back then was probably magnified by hundredfold, right?
00:31:36.000
He would fight 45 round fights and shit like that, 60 round fights.
00:31:40.000
Him and Sam Langford and Peter Jackson and all those guys.
00:31:53.000
Car accident claims Jack Johnson in 1946. That's when he died.
00:32:01.000
There's that famous story of him getting pulled over by a cop.
00:32:05.000
Yeah, I told him I'm going the same speed on the way back.
00:32:08.000
And then there was the other one where apparently he got into a taxi one time and the guy said, I don't drive the N-words.
00:32:16.000
And so Jack grabbed him, threw him in the backseat, got in the front, drove himself to where he had to get to.
00:32:22.000
And then the guy's like, hey, what about my affair?
00:32:25.000
And look at the, he had like white wives back then too.
00:32:29.000
Imagine those chicks, how bold you had to be back then.
00:32:40.000
I would love to see what the world was like at various stages in history.
00:32:47.000
I wonder if one day they're going to be able to do that with virtual reality.
00:32:51.000
I don't know if you've ever used any of those Oculus Rift headsets or anything like that.
00:32:57.000
They've got one now with Alex Honnold, who's that crazy free solo climber.
00:33:03.000
And, you know, he went up the side of a mountain with this camera apparatus on.
00:33:09.000
So you're literally looking at this climb from his perspective.
00:33:16.000
But I wonder if they're going to get to a point, I would love it if they got to a point, where you could go back in time.
00:33:22.000
Like, you could go to, like, 1920s New York City and see what it looked like.
00:33:30.000
There's like videos on YouTube about what the world was like.
00:33:35.000
You know, if you can go back 10 million years, this is what it looked like.
00:33:39.000
And then they do this and what the world would look like in this many years.
00:33:43.000
That's all speculation, but I guess the ones going back are more...
00:33:50.000
I mean, you're never going to really be able to go there, but I think they're going to be able to simulate it in a way that's really, really close within our lifetime.
00:34:07.000
I just think it would be amazing just to get a glimpse of what it was like, like 1700s Paris, walking down the street in the 1700s if they could recreate it perfectly.
00:34:18.000
Yeah, and while they're building something that's like, you know, you could be there when they're building the Colosseum or something in Rome, you know?
00:34:24.000
Yeah, they don't know how they did that, though.
00:34:27.000
Like, if you want to go back to the Parthenon or something like that.
00:34:39.000
That's the beauty of science is that there's never really the answer.
00:34:44.000
And then when they find out the answer, like, oh, we were wrong the first time.
00:34:47.000
Do you think you're going to stay in America no matter what?
00:35:23.000
You buy one big house, and that's how you film it.
00:35:32.000
I walk around with a Foot Locker shirt on all day.
00:35:35.000
You set up like a gymnasium for the kids in the middle.
00:35:48.000
Well, you gotta think, what are comedians gonna do if it gets to a point where there really is no more income from stand-up anymore?
00:35:53.000
I mean, I'm legitimately concerned that this is gonna last a lot longer than people think.
00:36:01.000
I mean, you know, this thing kicked me in the nuts pretty good, this whole thing.
00:36:07.000
And there's a reason I'm out there doing dates, you know, putting it on the line, just because I have to.
00:36:21.000
If this didn't happen, I wouldn't even be in any kind of situation right now.
00:36:29.000
There's only certain people who really blossomed in this, and you're one of them.
00:36:34.000
Andrew Schultz figured out how to do COVID comedy better than anybody.
00:36:39.000
His videos that he does on Instagram are fucking amazing.
00:36:42.000
I watch every single one of those, and I'm like, God damn, this kid's good.
00:36:47.000
They're so well-written, and they're so fast, and the pace, and just his timing, and his insight.
00:36:53.000
And he does the little lines, little jokes in there.
00:36:56.000
I like when he takes the little jabs at everybody.
00:37:14.000
There's a few of those guys that are coming up that are...
00:37:16.000
In this day and age with social media and cancel culture, it's very hard to be a wild comedian.
00:37:27.000
You were wild because everybody else was wild and that was what you enjoyed.
00:37:33.000
I've always enjoyed Kinnison and Pryor and when Joey Diaz is going off.
00:37:44.000
But to be a guy like Schultz today, it's a lot riskier.
00:37:51.000
These guys, but they figured it out, you know, because they're from the culture that is canceling people.
00:37:59.000
They know, like, they kind of know the lines in it.
00:38:07.000
And I keep thinking, you know, I say it on stage, too, but I'm like, you know, if they're going to cancel it for what you're saying, they're not paying attention to intent.
00:38:15.000
They're not looking at the look in your face when you say something.
00:38:20.000
They don't hear, you know, there's a lot of cadence involved in a lot of things that you say that take the sting right out of it.
00:38:26.000
And then I even said, if I was to read a transcript of everything I said tonight, I'm like, this guy's a piece of shit and let's get rid of him.
00:38:31.000
There's also temporary thoughts that go down as permanent record.
00:38:35.000
You know, especially if you're doing a podcast, you're just riffing.
00:38:41.000
And if you take that and make it a permanent record, like, this is how this person feels forever.
00:38:46.000
Wait till you see when this one airs, how many people...
00:38:51.000
Get the fuck out of America if you don't like it here!
00:38:54.000
You're gonna get a lot of that, and I'm like, no you fuck.
00:38:56.000
You haven't said one bad thing about America, though.
00:38:57.000
Well, no, the minute you say anything and you're not American, you automatically get the fuck out is what you get.
00:39:02.000
What do you have to do to be American-American?
00:39:35.000
And that was like, in the past 10 years, you've definitely done a transformation.
00:39:39.000
Well, what I did was I wanted to get a sleeve, and I did want it to be patchwork.
00:39:46.000
So I went to Aaron Della Vadova down at Guru Tattoo in San Diego.
00:39:49.000
And we planned it out, and he drew all these sketches of what it would look like.
00:40:00.000
It's wrapped around this Buddha that's holding a DMT molecule.
00:40:12.000
You're going to keep it for the rest of your life.
00:40:19.000
People are like, what's it going to look like when you're old?
00:40:23.000
Yeah, I at one point wanted a boxing glove holding a microphone.
00:40:30.000
Every time somebody would draw it for me, I was like, it doesn't look good.
00:40:33.000
When I was in high school, everybody had a fucking Tasmanian devil with boxing gloves.
00:40:40.000
Then it became the tribal art, became the thing.
00:40:46.000
Or your ankle if you're a gal or a dude who likes dudes.
00:40:50.000
And then they would do the tribal zigzags all over their back.
00:40:56.000
So you were really big into tattoos ten years ago, were you?
00:41:04.000
Because it was white guys doing it, who were never part of a fucking tribe.
00:41:11.000
You can't be tribal if you were never in a tribe.
00:41:39.000
A lot of guys, like, there's a bunch of UFC fighters.
00:41:43.000
Tai Tuivasa, who has that shit, from his waist down, like, his legs, he's got, like, shorts made out of it.
00:41:50.000
You know, a lot of those guys, they do it tapping.
00:42:00.000
My buddy Sturgill, he has one of those, he's got like a quarter sleeve that he's working on.
00:42:11.000
It's like they wanted to name him Sterling and Virgil, and they were like, okay, we're gonna call him Sturgill.
00:42:17.000
And he's got one of his tattoos he got from a Japanese master.
00:42:27.000
A lot of people that are real Japanese tattoo aficionados, they'll go to Japan to get tattooed in that tapping way.
00:42:38.000
I'm sure some of them get it the other way now.
00:42:43.000
The art form has evolved to this crazy place where they can do photorealistic tattoos now.
00:42:54.000
No, but I've seen some of the guys that have your logo tattooed on them.
00:42:58.000
And it's incredible how fucking realistic it looks.
00:43:02.000
I stopped posting them on Instagram because I was getting so many of them.
00:43:05.000
And then someone posted, yeah, that's Steve Butcher.
00:43:20.000
See, I would do some dumb shit like that if I got a tattoo, probably.
00:43:36.000
Yeah, that's really incredible when they get that.
00:43:49.000
Of both your baby's mama giving you the finger.
00:44:04.000
Yeah, but he got the worst movie ever, Patch Adams.
00:44:13.000
I mean, I probably did at the time, but I don't remember it.
00:44:19.000
It's like a clown that works with cancer patients or something.
00:44:31.000
Yeah, it was a doctor who would come in and do silly things to make the patients laugh to try and help their spirits.
00:44:56.000
I didn't know I was meeting him until like five minutes into the conversation and I realized it was Robin Williams.
00:45:08.000
I don't remember but I did a show at the improv.
00:45:15.000
I did a show at the improv and then afterwards I'm shaking hands with people and taking pictures and this very slight Older man with a beard, a heavy beard, wearing a baseball hat comes up and he's like really complimentary, but he obviously knows a lot about stand-up.
00:45:31.000
He's asking me questions about writing and questions about certain bits, like really laughing.
00:45:37.000
And then I'm like, holy fuck, this is Robin Williams.
00:45:46.000
And then I realized in the middle of the conversation, this is Robin fucking Williams.
00:45:50.000
Because he had this crazy, thick-ass white beard.
00:45:57.000
I think for a lot of folks that are real sensitive, and he's obviously a real sensitive guy, that place of being that famous is fucking overwhelming.
00:46:09.000
That famous and known for whether you are or not, but you're known for being always like on.
00:46:16.000
And then there's the pressure of having to be on now so you don't disappoint the illusion.
00:46:27.000
And then just also, you know, it's just the pressure of everyone recognizing you everywhere you go and...
00:46:36.000
I think one of the best recognitions I got was Bob Newhart.
00:46:41.000
I didn't even know he knew I existed, but he invited me to be...
00:46:46.000
He was getting inducted into the Television Hall of Fame for 50 years in the business or something.
00:46:51.000
And he wanted me to be there on behalf of the younger generation.
00:46:58.000
And I remember I sat with Fred Willard and Mannix, what's his name?
00:47:09.000
Yeah, I sat beside them while we were doing it, and I was like, this is incredible.
00:47:12.000
And then they had a private dinner after, and I was sitting at the table with Fred Willard, and then the guy that was on Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks.
00:47:27.000
And then Don Rickles was there, and Bob was just so fucking...
00:47:31.000
He's still alive, and I've actually been meaning to call him just to check in on the guy.
00:47:42.000
He gets up to make a speech and this woman is like, Bob, is this going to be funny?
00:47:53.000
And Bob Newhart just goes, why don't we all find out together?
00:48:05.000
It was like, why don't we all find out together?
00:48:27.000
Who's the first famous person that came to your show?
00:48:33.000
Well, back in the mid-90s, the Raptors used to come to my shows in Toronto.
00:48:39.000
A lot of them, because we would do this black comedy night once a month.
00:48:43.000
Kenny Robinson had the Newbie and Disciples of Pryor all-black comedy show.
00:48:47.000
It was the ABC of NDP. And it started in April of 1995. And those shows would sell out every month to the point where I had every gangster in the city calling me, yo, I need you to put me on the list.
00:49:00.000
I'm like, man, you're fucking killing me, dude.
00:49:02.000
He goes, yo, don't embarrass me when I get there.
00:49:06.000
And I'm like, I go, Kenny, I got to put so-and-so on the list.
00:49:12.000
But if he gets in and there's no problem, you'll have no problems.
00:49:31.000
There was a shooting in the main room one night.
00:49:41.000
That must have been maybe Trippin' on Tuesdays or something?
00:49:51.000
And then Guy Torrey took it over and had Trippin on Tuesdays.
00:49:58.000
Guy Torrey used to get up in the morning and do East Coast radio from his home in LA. I couldn't do that shit.
00:50:18.000
Do you remember when Joe used to host Def Jam and he was jacked?
00:50:26.000
He did some taekwondo and he did some Greco-Roman wrestling and stuff like that.
00:50:32.000
But he was one of the first guys ever to be funny and jacked.
00:50:37.000
I think he's one of the reasons, too, that I talk to the crowd so much, because I used to watch him do that, and I go, I love that.
00:50:48.000
If I go on afterwards, they want to talk to me, too.
00:50:53.000
And the way I ask them questions, it doesn't open it up for a conversation.
00:51:00.000
I try to approach it that way, like a jab, you know?
00:51:04.000
I want to make sure you're good when you go on.
00:51:13.000
I remember you and I felt bad after last time we had dinner.
00:51:16.000
He yelled at me like, just fucking stop being lazy.
00:51:33.000
I mean, I used to write, but I need pen and a pad.
00:51:37.000
Well, it's like for us, we're also ADD. It's hard to just sit alone.
00:51:43.000
But I feel like there's a bunch of different things you can do.
00:51:49.000
You can write throughout the day, just have ideas, then run them on stage.
00:51:53.000
But nothing's preventing you from actually sitting and writing as well.
00:51:59.000
I feel like when you sit and write, you have an opportunity to develop different concepts, different ideas.
00:52:06.000
And I've been meaning to this whole quarantine, but I thought I would be the most motivated guy.
00:52:12.000
I think every comic thought we were going to come out of this quarantine with an entire new act that was so fucking well written and everybody I talked to was like, what'd you do?
00:52:24.000
First of all, because I didn't know how I felt.
00:52:28.000
When this shit locked down, first of all, everybody thought a large percentage of us were going to die, right?
00:52:34.000
Yeah, we didn't know what the fuck was happening.
00:52:36.000
We saw the footage from China where they're driving on the street spraying that stuff into the...
00:52:44.000
So we thought, man, what if we're losing a lot of our friends?
00:53:14.000
He's so gruff on the outside and his stories are so crazy that people get this distorted impression of who he is.
00:53:22.000
And you would want to think that he's going to want to hang out with everybody and party.
00:53:31.000
One person asked me the wrong fucking question.
00:53:34.000
He just likes to go in and crush and then get out of there like a legend.
00:53:48.000
I don't give a fuck about that shit, Joe Rogan.
00:53:53.000
Did you get anything to celebrate your Spotify thing?
00:54:09.000
Just trying to concentrate on doing good shows.
00:54:11.000
Trying to concentrate on when, especially when Spotify launches, I want to just get real good guests and be prepared.
00:54:18.000
That's why I'm glad I'm on now before we start getting good guests again.
00:54:27.000
I feel like if I steer away from that in anything, I fuck up.
00:54:33.000
Yeah, no, you gotta just keep it what you're doing.
00:54:35.000
Yeah, just keep trying to do my best and not even thinking about all that other stuff.
00:54:40.000
You'd walk in, and it was right on the right-hand side in that little ass room.
00:54:53.000
I go, yeah, I don't even know what it is, but I'll do it.
00:55:01.000
It was Red Band who figured that shit out already.
00:55:05.000
We started it on a laptop with Ustream, just answering questions.
00:55:17.000
The YouTube clips keep me very entertained on the road.
00:55:22.000
Yeah, I'll go look for a subject that I want to hear about, and there'll be like a 12 to 15 minute clip.
00:55:27.000
Well, that's one of the good things about the Spotify deals.
00:55:30.000
What Spotify is going to do is they're going to organize things like all the health and wellness podcasts are going to be organized, all the fitness ones, all the martial arts ones, all the ones with scientists, all the ones on archaeology, animals, paleontology, all the different ones are going to be organized so you can actually search shit.
00:55:52.000
I mean, I really want to, but I... Come on, baby.
00:55:58.000
Not really a wing, just let me use a space or something.
00:56:11.000
Like, I'll pull up, like, you know, look who's there and I'm like, oh look, there's Crazy Legs from Rocksteady Crew.
00:56:16.000
And I'll add them, we'll do like a live chat and we'll, and it's not the basic, hey, so tell me about breakdancing.
00:56:21.000
We just have a conversation and it's actually really good.
00:56:24.000
And then I get like, you know, I'll have, you know, a rapper, one of my favorite rappers will be on or something, you know, and it's just fun shit.
00:56:31.000
You know who I was hanging out with in Houston?
00:56:36.000
Dude, I hadn't done stand-up in like 90-plus days, and Willie came down to the show.
00:56:47.000
I don't want to bomb in front of Willie D. But even the first show was fantastic.
00:56:53.000
First of all, the audience was so enthusiastic.
00:56:55.000
People were so happy to be out and so happy to do things.
00:56:58.000
And the day we got there, we weren't even with Brian Moses and Tony Hinchcliffe, and we weren't sure whether or not we were going to even be able to do the show.
00:57:13.000
But we got there, and there was a stage one COVID alert that they had moved back to stage one.
00:57:22.000
And they're like, well, they're closing down all the bars.
00:57:26.000
I thought we were going to have to literally get on the plane and go back home.
00:57:28.000
But then they said, nope, we're going to just keep the shows rolling.
00:57:32.000
And then Houston is Texas, and Texas is different.
00:57:36.000
They're closing down the bars, but they keep the restaurants open at 50% capacity.
00:57:44.000
I think I could move to Texas, but I couldn't go where...
00:58:02.000
And I think it gets a bum rap for a lot of things.
00:58:05.000
I mean, I'm sure those things exist over there, but I don't think that's what it's about over there.
00:58:10.000
Austin is a really open-minded, interesting place.
00:58:17.000
I had a good time going and watching live bands and shit in Austin.
00:58:21.000
They've got some great music and stuff like that.
00:58:30.000
No, I like heat too, but dude, it's a fucking dumb heat.
00:58:35.000
Like, I'm like, God damn, if an Indian guy's complaining about the heat, something's wrong with the heat, dude.
00:58:44.000
We shot a movie there, me and Faison, about five years ago.
00:58:50.000
You know you'd have a fucking great conversation with Faison.
00:58:55.000
Despite his exterior, he's actually got a lot of interesting perceptive thoughts.
00:59:09.000
It was like the hottest day of the year that day.
00:59:12.000
I think it was like 118 or something like that.
00:59:18.000
Oh, it's not a good 118. So we were supposed to shoot the scene outside.
00:59:25.000
And it was a scene where these kids are breakdancing and then I jump in and breakdance with them.
00:59:30.000
So I had to do a top rock and some waves and shit.
00:59:42.000
I'm wearing a blue shirt so you can see when I sweat and everything.
00:59:47.000
And they go, okay, we're relocating over there.
00:59:49.000
It's going to go, on the hottest fucking day of the year?
00:59:57.000
Oh yeah, we were doing 14 to 15-hour days because it was non-union.
01:00:07.000
You know, it's not hard like coal mining, but it's hard in that it beats you up.
01:00:12.000
A lot of comics that wind up getting into movies, their act sort of suffers.
01:00:22.000
Well, I always tell everybody that I bet that's why Eddie Murphy stopped doing stand-up.
01:00:27.000
I mean, it's just like his movies are doing so good, and you're more insulated in that world, too.
01:00:37.000
What do you think he's going to be like when he comes back?
01:00:41.000
I mean, it's a lot of money on the line for him.
01:01:09.000
He's one of those guys where his movies don't get the respect that they deserve for some strange reason.
01:01:16.000
Like, what was that one that he did with Steve Martin?
01:01:24.000
That the Heather Graham character was allegedly Anne Hesch.
01:01:33.000
Yeah, how she was dating Steve Martin, then she ended up with a woman.
01:01:41.000
And then she ended up marrying a man after that.
01:01:52.000
She was shooting a series up in Canada for a little while.
01:01:58.000
But, you know, the problem with Eddie was not the problem.
01:02:00.000
What happened with Eddie was his movies in the 80s were so fucking huge.
01:02:06.000
You know, it's like opening with a phenomenal joke and then the rest of your act, you can't follow it, despite how good the rest of the jokes are.
01:02:11.000
But so many of those movies were still really good.
01:02:14.000
They just didn't get the respect for some reason.
01:02:16.000
Like Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours, Coming to America, Trading Places.
01:02:24.000
And then, you know, you got another 48 Hours, and then you got Beverly Hills Cop 2 and 3. Even they were good.
01:02:32.000
That was the first time I saw sequels and I was like, wow, that's just as fucking good as the first one.
01:02:35.000
But wasn't there like a time period where he wasn't doing films or they weren't as popular and then you get films like Bowfinger?
01:02:43.000
Yeah, so I think after he did that one movie, it was like a military kind of movie in the late 80s.
01:02:53.000
It was somewhere around after Golden Child, it kind of fell apart a little bit.
01:03:00.000
Is that pre or post My Girl Wants to Party All the Time?
01:03:14.000
Yeah, apparently Finest told me he wrote it for him.
01:03:17.000
He goes, yeah, I used to help Eddie with that back in the day.
01:03:20.000
Because Finest was actually a really big, he had a really big song back in the day called Skip to My Lou.
01:03:26.000
Yeah, it was a really dope R&B track, like early 80s.
01:03:30.000
I remember I was in New York City and Eddie Murphy had that song.
01:03:35.000
I was in Boston and Eddie Murphy had that song come out and I was like, this guy can do anything.
01:03:39.000
That was one of those things where when a person does that...
01:03:46.000
There's some of those guys who could just kind of do anything.
01:03:51.000
He's got a reggae album out now, you know that?
01:03:54.000
Yeah, it came out like three years ago, I think.
01:03:58.000
Yeah, a couple of years ago, Eddie Murphy released a reggae album.
01:04:01.000
See, I always feel like with certain dudes, like whether it's him or Jamie Foxx or dudes who just have this really diverse set of skills, they're probably just always doing something whether you know about it or not.
01:04:14.000
They're just creatives that can't stop creating.
01:04:40.000
Okay, we can't play any of it, but I'm gonna have to go and get this now.
01:04:51.000
And I know he was thinking about doing stand-up again, but I do not know if he's actually doing stand-up again.
01:04:57.000
So, I was at his house January of last year, January 2019. Tiffany Haddish took me to his house.
01:05:07.000
And it was this night that I was really not supposed to be there.
01:05:10.000
I wasn't invited, but Tiffany was like, come with me!
01:05:14.000
So I went, and it was this incredible fucking night at Eddie Murphy's house where I walk downstairs.
01:05:26.000
And then I turn, I see Neil Brennan, and then I look at the bar, and I see Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher sitting at the bar, and I'm like, what the fuck have I... And then I see Kimmel, then I see Bill Hader, and then I hear behind me, yo, is this what you comedians always do, hang out with each other?
01:05:42.000
And I turn around, and it's Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest, and I'm like, what up, Tip?
01:05:49.000
And then Jeff Ross was there, and then Chappelle came, Chris Rock came.
01:05:55.000
And I was like, what have I fucking walked into?
01:05:58.000
But the good thing is, you know, because you were comics, we all know each other.
01:06:01.000
And then, you know, I'd only met Eddie once for like a split second at a fight.
01:06:06.000
And he knew my name then, but when I walked in the basement, he goes, hey, Russell, thanks for coming.
01:06:23.000
Charlie and I did a tour together for Maxim, the Bud Light comedy tour with John Heffron.
01:06:30.000
And then, just randomly, I was in Maui, and just Charlie was in Maui.
01:06:38.000
And I went over and sat with him, and Eddie Murphy was weird.
01:06:52.000
His first words, he goes, you're a funny motherfucker.
01:07:01.000
That whole night, I honestly didn't say a fucking word to anybody.
01:07:08.000
Every time I turned my head, and then I was standing in a doorway.
01:07:11.000
And it's me standing beside Eddie, and then Chris Rock, Jamie Foxx, and Neil Brennan, and they're all trying to convince him to do stand-up again.
01:07:32.000
But they didn't make me feel like, what are you doing here?
01:07:38.000
But, you know, Eddie was like, I haven't done it in 30 years.
01:07:48.000
But, you know, you guys are out there doing it every day.
01:08:00.000
The thing about stand-up is that you have to do it in front of people.
01:08:03.000
You've got to go out there and do it in front of people.
01:08:08.000
You can create an album with just you and your friends.
01:08:11.000
You can't really create a comedy set without being at a place where you're going to have random people come and pay money to see you talk.
01:08:20.000
And that's the other problem he's got to overcome, is that people are going to be coming expecting, you know, maybe they're expecting delirious or raw coming out of him.
01:08:33.000
When I met him, when I was at his house, his baby was only maybe a couple months old, or a month old.
01:08:41.000
And then, end of the night, I got stuck in the basement of his house.
01:08:46.000
Well, everyone was leaving, and I didn't know where Tiffany went.
01:08:49.000
And I'm literally standing against the wall, and I'm the only uninvited guy there, really.
01:08:54.000
Like, all the Netflix people were there, and I'm like, oh boy, I don't know what the...
01:08:59.000
And I'm looking around going, I don't know where the fuck Tiffany went.
01:09:03.000
And finally, like, it was me and then eight of Eddie's kids were sitting at this one table.
01:09:07.000
And I'm just standing there like a creep, like right across from them.
01:09:16.000
And as you walked up, they had the door open to suggest, just get the fuck out of the house.
01:09:19.000
And I was like, um, said the lady, hey, uh, I came with Tiffany and she's kind of my ride.
01:09:33.000
And then they were like, oh, I think she went to the backyard.
01:09:36.000
And I'm like, what am I supposed to do with that?
01:09:38.000
I'm not going to go walking around the guy's house.
01:09:42.000
Thank God one of his sons was walking by and goes, oh, I'll take you to the backyard.
01:09:55.000
But in that really exclusive gated community there, like where Denzel lives.
01:10:04.000
Like, I think honestly it was about 30,000 square feet, the house.
01:10:10.000
To like, you know, know those people, who those people are when you're young, and then all of a sudden you're one of them people?
01:10:18.000
It's, listen, I mean, I'm still aghast from it a year and a half later.
01:10:25.000
I mean, there's like an exclusive A-list celebrity group of humans.
01:10:30.000
And there's like, I guess like when a guy like him has a party like that, like those are the only people that are just going to be semi-normal around him.
01:10:37.000
You know, he can't have that like, Eddie, is this, is this going to be a funny speech?
01:10:45.000
And that's why I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure what I'm, like, am I going to say something stupid and be like, who brought this guy?
01:10:59.000
Like, if you go to the comedy store, you fit right in.
01:11:02.000
But if you go, like, when you're around too many celebrities, you do feel like a fraud.
01:11:08.000
Like, you and I are both friends with Chappelle.
01:11:12.000
And when it's just me and him hanging out, it's literally like me and Dave hanging out.
01:11:17.000
And then, you know, then you go somewhere, and then he gets spotted by people, and he elevates.
01:11:23.000
And then you become like, hey, I'll be over here.
01:11:27.000
Dave took me to one of the weirdest parties ever.
01:11:29.000
He took me to this Naomi Campbell party in the Hollywood Hills.
01:11:32.000
And we had a drive up to the house, and then you had to take, like...
01:11:37.000
Some weird elevator from the downstairs house to the upstairs house.
01:11:41.000
And as we're driving up the upstairs house, there's a photo of Naomi Campbell that's like 40 feet tall that's on the side of this building, and it's her naked.
01:11:55.000
Demi Moore's there, and Lenny Kravitz is there.
01:12:02.000
He goes, man, I would never want to be this famous.
01:12:08.000
I go, yeah, you're the most famous person here.
01:12:14.000
He became famous or maybe doesn't realize it or maybe doesn't think about it, which is why he's so funny because he just concentrates on just life.
01:12:23.000
When you hang out with him, he still has the same...
01:12:28.000
Like when he was shooting Half-Baked in Toronto maybe 24, 23 years ago, I was with him every day on set.
01:12:35.000
I would hang out in his trailer, hang out with his dog.
01:12:39.000
He had a little white Pomeranian back then named Thelonious.
01:12:43.000
And I would take him for drives to my hometown, Brampton, Ontario.
01:12:50.000
I go, I'm going to take you to this magnetic hill out in Caledon.
01:12:59.000
I still can't figure it out even when you're there, but it looks like you're driving down and the car rolls up the hill.
01:13:14.000
But then when you get out and stand there, you kind of see that, no, it's kind of on an angle, but because there's a road going up like this above it.
01:13:21.000
So it looks like it's going down, but it really, it's not.
01:13:27.000
And then there's a road right there that we used to call the rollercoaster road.
01:13:29.000
It's like a really windy road with all these fucking humps, and we would drive, play like drum and bass, and I would drive really fast over this road and feel like a rollercoaster.
01:13:52.000
He's too old, but it would be perfect if he was younger.
01:14:10.000
It looks like that, and then you roll up and it fucks your whole head up.
01:14:16.000
But then we went out there and was like, man, what the fuck are we doing all the way out here?
01:14:34.000
I think they show you they put the car in neutral and then the car starts going backwards.
01:15:04.000
That's one of the responses to COVID. They're going to cut the education budget.
01:15:09.000
I don't think they have a good salary, the teachers, do they?
01:15:14.000
It's not the teachers' call to cut their salaries.
01:15:18.000
Sure, the teachers are like, hey, guys, just take my money.
01:15:22.000
It'd be a sad time to be in school in L.A. They all have to wear masks, and the teachers have to wear shields over their face.
01:15:37.000
And then my fucking ex-wife signed her up for summer school.
01:15:49.000
They're doing, like, temperature checks and shit, and they're going to do camp.
01:15:54.000
She's doing, like, the day before school starts, Daddy, is it too late if I don't want to go to summer school?
01:16:01.000
I go, Baby, I would never have signed you up for summer school, but Mommy did, so we got to do it.
01:16:11.000
It's also like, I think mommies want a little bit of a break.
01:16:18.000
Well, this is a good time to really bond with your kids.
01:16:22.000
My daughter, like, you know, wants to be in my house 24-7 now.
01:16:33.000
And if you do go on the road, are you getting tested, like, every time when you come back?
01:16:37.000
Yeah, I think that's the way it's going to have to go.
01:16:45.000
I decided after this Houston one, I was like, if I brought it back, I'm like, I'm just doing this for fun.
01:16:54.000
I'm like, yeah, but if I bring it back, you know, if I catch it...
01:17:17.000
But then what freaked me out as coming back is like, if I gave it to other people.
01:17:33.000
He sent somebody, they did the finger one, which was immediate, and then they did the other one that came...
01:17:36.000
Yeah, I got the results the very next day, which I thought was really great.
01:17:53.000
You know, I'm the CCO of a company that does...
01:17:59.000
So what it is, it's a company called Red Light Holland.
01:18:08.000
So it's the top, the mushroom cap is the illegal part.
01:18:12.000
The stem, which is the truffle, is not illegal.
01:18:19.000
We're in the process of getting it all legalized and done the right way.
01:18:24.000
And it'll be available in the Netherlands first, microdosing.
01:18:30.000
And then eventually, we're hoping it goes the way of marijuana.
01:18:45.000
Because you gotta do it with me and John Mayer.
01:18:50.000
Yeah, I go, you guys are both professionals at this.
01:18:52.000
I don't want to be the guy fucking crying in the corner.
01:19:19.000
And so the first time you do it, they're going to welcome you.
01:19:21.000
They're going to be like, oh man, this is what you should be doing.
01:19:24.000
I'm going to straighten out all your personal problems.
01:19:27.000
All these weird personality tics that you got, all this strange shit, the trouble you keep getting yourself into.
01:19:37.000
And then one day they're gonna trick you into taking a large dose, and then you're gonna meet the aliens.
01:19:41.000
Then you're gonna realize that this dimension that we live in is...
01:19:48.000
It's connected to neighboring dimensions that are accessible through certain psychedelics.
01:19:53.000
And then once you see that, you can never unsee it.
01:20:04.000
Serious, still regular life, but 20% of it goes away forever because you know that that's possible.
01:20:12.000
You know that these other worlds exist and that other people are just out there running through their entire life from birth to death and they never experienced those worlds.
01:20:20.000
It's that's a that's weird because like you're running around like I run into people because people know that I've done a lot of psychedelic drugs So I'll run into people That know and they've done it too and they look at you and they'll talk to you like hey man You know I did this because of you like a buddy of mine said that to me the other day You gave me the courage to try this Psychedelic drug and I was like,
01:20:45.000
He took DMT and he was like That's a little bit more advanced, I would imagine.
01:20:50.000
And this guy, he's a bad motherfucker, he's a Navy SEAL, but never had any experience like that.
01:20:59.000
Well, I mean, I would have to talk to him more in depth, but when everybody does it, What you get when they're describing it is just sort of like trying to use words to describe something where there's no references.
01:21:16.000
You could kind of tell me what it was like and I could kind of go, yeah, okay, I kind of see that because I've done it.
01:21:26.000
It's like somebody trying to explain their dream to you.
01:21:35.000
And they believe that it comes out in your dreams.
01:21:39.000
They believe that when you're dreaming, your body is releasing some of that stuff.
01:21:46.000
It's one of those weird things where they really only found out that mammals created in the pineal gland within the last few years.
01:21:55.000
The Cottonwood Research Foundation, which is connected to Rick Strassman, who wrote that book, DMT the Spirit Molecule.
01:22:02.000
He ran a bunch of FDA approved, I believe the only FDA approved tests on DMT, where they shot it into people in A clinical setting.
01:22:22.000
It's like a glass bowl connected to like a tube.
01:22:38.000
And then the other stuff was more like white with like a little bit of yellow to it.
01:22:58.000
It was really weird, but I didn't even know what weird was.
01:23:01.000
Because like 20 minutes later, I did a second one.
01:23:08.000
And then it was almost like you're in a slingshot or a catapult.
01:23:14.000
And all of a sudden, you shot through these colors and lights into what felt like some new place.
01:23:25.000
What is your physical doing during all of this?
01:23:36.000
It's like I can almost see reality, but it was all real pixelated and it was like I was seeing life through like a Dirty saran wrap or something.
01:23:46.000
It was all was very strange and then I closed my eyes back and I went it's the experience of the psychedelic realm is more vivid than regular life Which is real strange because it doesn't feel like you're on a drug Because you're still you.
01:24:04.000
Like when you're drunk, it changes the way you think.
01:24:10.000
This is like you think the same way, but you're being confronted with something that's insanely alien.
01:24:17.000
Just alien to everything that you know to be true.
01:24:20.000
And then there's all these things around you that seem to be alive.
01:24:24.000
And they seem to be talking to you and communicating to you.
01:24:27.000
The last time I did it was a bunch of jokers that were giving me the finger.
01:24:32.000
Jesters with like, you know, they have little bells.
01:24:34.000
They were all like shaking and giving me the finger and like spinning around like going, fuck you!
01:24:41.000
And the thing that I got from it was like, oh, I take myself too seriously.
01:24:50.000
And then they pointed at me like, ah, you get it.
01:24:57.000
You can take yourself seriously and you want others to take you seriously.
01:25:00.000
What is the grossest kind of man, the kind of man who wants everyone to He wants to tremble when he walks into a room, wants rose petals thrown at his feet.
01:25:12.000
Yeah, everyone to be uncomfortable because he's a fucking man.
01:25:15.000
And that kind of guy responds very poorly to being mocked, right?
01:25:19.000
So I think that it was like letting me know, like, hey, bitch, you got a little of that in you.
01:25:25.000
Especially as a person who's a professional mocker.
01:25:53.000
See, the thing about ayahuasca is it lasts longer because it's orally...
01:26:00.000
And you can get there on ayahuasca and DMT. It's the same thing.
01:26:06.000
It's just when you're taking it with ayahuasca, your body is processing it orally, and you take it with something called an MAO inhibitor.
01:26:17.000
MAO is monoamine oxidase that's produced by your gut, and it processes DMT naturally that exists in plants.
01:26:25.000
So there's a lot of plants that have DMT in it.
01:26:28.000
And if you were eating grass, like some sort of phalaris grass or something like that, it's really rich in DMT. So if you were eating that, you would get high as fuck.
01:26:37.000
But monoamine oxidase that's produced by your gut, It breaks that stuff down so it's not orally active.
01:26:43.000
So if you took some DMT that you would freebase and just ate it, it wouldn't do anything to you because your gut would break it down.
01:26:49.000
But then if you took it with an MAO inhibitor, preferably the kind of plant-based MAO inhibitor that they use in ayahuasca because they know...
01:26:58.000
Those MAO inhibitors that people take, sometimes people take them as a medication, those can be dangerous.
01:27:10.000
Pharmaceutical MAO inhibitors and then they take mushrooms or something else with them and they really can fuck them up like real bad.
01:27:17.000
Yeah, because they're cross-pollinating their fucking drug use.
01:27:19.000
You're doing all kinds of wacky shit to your brain that your brain is probably not really designed.
01:27:24.000
Your brain may stay together or you might go fucking shine on you crazy diamond.
01:27:31.000
Have you had any kind of experience with MDMA or anything?
01:27:43.000
The bad pot experiences teach you that regular life is okay.
01:27:56.000
And I have the fucking weirdest dreams when I'm on them.
01:28:02.000
Just CBD alone, I'm so happy that that stuff's legal for folks with, like, anyone with arthritis or weird aches and pains.
01:28:26.000
If you're Mike Tyson, your weed better not be fucking weak.
01:28:33.000
I mean, listen, I'm friends with him, but I'm also a fan.
01:28:39.000
And to see him look how he looks now is exciting.
01:28:44.000
And I talked, you know, it's funny is I talked to him before the video came out of him hitting pads and shit.
01:28:50.000
We were FaceTiming and I said, Mike, you look good.
01:28:56.000
He goes, yeah, man, I bet I've felt in a long time.
01:29:00.000
I go, yeah, man, I may have like an exhibition or something.
01:29:10.000
Well, he'll have, I'm sure, Javier Cordero, who's been working with him, he'll probably have him in his corner.
01:29:22.000
He even said he would fight him in a boxing match as long as Mike would fight him in an MMA fight.
01:29:30.000
Yeah, no, like, listen, the boxer cannot go into an MMA ring.
01:29:35.000
As much as John kicks your legs, John would probably just wrestle him to the ground and take him down.
01:29:41.000
That's like when James Toney fought Randy Couture.
01:29:47.000
I kind of knew that James wasn't really training for that, though.
01:29:52.000
Yeah, but he's naturally a tough guy, James Toney.
01:30:04.000
Nobody talked better shit during sparring sessions than James Toney.
01:30:20.000
Something will happen, I'll lose position or something, and I'll go, oh, that was a mistake.
01:30:23.000
And I'll do anything I can to fuck with their mood, to make them laugh so it throws them off.
01:30:32.000
When I'm rolling with John Jack, I'll be like, you were made for hitchhiking, not jiu-jitsu.
01:30:39.000
You see the people in the class like, oh my god!
01:30:53.000
I just stumbled upon him because it was closer to my area.
01:30:59.000
And then he turns out to be one of the best ever.
01:31:10.000
And he's a rare guy that's, like, 50 years old that still rolls all the time and doesn't get hurt.
01:31:16.000
I think he hurt his knee for a little bit, but it's gotten better, I think.
01:31:44.000
And when I went to post, instead of my hand hitting like this, my finger went straight.
01:31:50.000
No, you know what's funny is I usually have those...
01:31:57.000
But you know what you could do is you take athletic tape and you tape two fingers together to protect it.
01:32:13.000
Yeah, if you jam one, you can just tape two together.
01:32:18.000
This one's fine now, but this one's still really sort of like I'm holding a cup of coffee and it hurts because this angle, you know?
01:32:26.000
So if you tape them all up, it'll almost be like you have like one grip, which is all you need anyway, you know?
01:32:31.000
Like you very rarely use like individual fingers.
01:32:54.000
He's always injured because he was constantly rolling.
01:33:07.000
So that's tape just specifically designed for jiu-jitsu.
01:33:20.000
Yeah, but that's also so you can move it around the joints.
01:33:30.000
But a lot of guys like that thin stuff because you can get in between the fingers real good and tape it up nice.
01:33:45.000
That's the thing about jujitsu you're gonna have to deal with.
01:33:48.000
Yeah, and then one day I was rolling and I I don't know my fucking my foot or ankle cramped And it just started to turn on its own.
01:34:06.000
But the muscle spasmed and my ankle just kept turning in like the fucking exorcist.
01:34:10.000
I used to get cramps and then I started taking electrolytes like regularly every day.
01:34:29.000
But then I started drinking this stuff in my water before I work out, during my workouts.
01:34:35.000
I get the cramp in the back of the hamstring there, sometimes in the calf.
01:34:46.000
Sometimes I'm trying to, you know, I put somebody in a body lock or something, and then I can't hold it because I get in a cramp.
01:35:04.000
Yeah, cramps are rough, but you could do something about that, and it's pretty quick.
01:35:09.000
You take that stuff for a few days and your cramps will go away.
01:35:12.000
You can work out real hard and never get cramps again.
01:35:18.000
The one that I like, there's a bunch of really good ones, but Liquid IV is one of my sponsors, and it's got all kinds of great shit in it.
01:35:41.000
I think one time after I did one of your podcasts, a guy hits me up on Instagram.
01:35:45.000
He was like, hey, I'm so excited that you're doing jiu-jitsu, man.
01:36:00.000
I get to the academy, and I go, JJ, I got a mouth guard.
01:36:06.000
And then I put it in, and I get on the mat, and I smile, and he goes, ha!
01:36:18.000
Yeah, it doesn't mean it when we say it, but that's actually what it means.
01:36:23.000
Yeah, but the actual word means cum, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I never wore the thing again.
01:36:29.000
Like Gilbert Burns, who's fighting Kamaru Usman for the title, he always yells it after he wins.
01:36:40.000
But it's the same way Malacca means jerk-off in Greek, but they'll say to him, Malacca, what are you doing?
01:36:50.000
Yeah, it's the same thing, but it doesn't mean it.
01:36:52.000
But the actual meaning of this apparently is fucking cum, and he's laughing hysterically.
01:37:01.000
Hey, why don't you go put the cum back in your mouth?
01:37:04.000
So if the guy is listening who made me the mouthpiece, can you make me another one that just says my name?
01:37:20.000
Oh, there's a guy, the mouthpiece guy, makes dope shit.
01:37:32.000
He was like, hey, he didn't measure me or nothing.
01:37:42.000
And I left that at my old guy I was training with out here.
01:37:51.000
But what they'll do for like a guy who makes professional ones, like the mouthpiece guy, makes them for a lot of MMA guys.
01:37:57.000
It's like you have this thing that you sit your teeth into.
01:38:04.000
And then it'll form, and then they'll put the design around it.
01:38:12.000
I like just a top one for jiu-jitsu, but for striking, I'd like a top and bottom one.
01:38:17.000
Because I do need it now, because I find I'm grinding my teeth when I'm rolling.
01:38:21.000
It's hard to breathe out of your nose, but there's a lot of real benefit to breathing out of your nose.
01:38:27.000
You know, sometimes you're going to breathe out of your mouth, but there's real benefit to primarily breathing out of your nose.
01:38:44.000
It's called Breath, and it's by this guy James Nestor, and I've been listening to it on audiobook.
01:38:54.000
I got it fixed like 10 years ago, and it made a huge difference.
01:39:05.000
That's what I thought, but they're like, no, I can't do that right now.
01:39:09.000
But I think they can do elective surgeries now.
01:39:22.000
Get your fucking monkey grips all over it there, kid.
01:39:27.000
I didn't think you'd pull that fucking thing out.
01:39:36.000
Every time you post something, I go, it's so fucking cool.
01:39:44.000
Get your 25 milligrams of CBD with each little serving there, fella.
01:40:00.000
It alleviates anxiety, but it's really good for people that have joint issues.
01:40:07.000
I used to have really bad arthritis in my fingers.
01:40:17.000
Yeah, apparently the curcumin is 500 times more absorbable, like faster absorbency.
01:40:24.000
Yeah, there's a lot of natural things for inflammation, but the big one is avoiding things that cause inflammation, like with your diet.
01:40:36.000
So many of your little aches and pains will go away.
01:40:38.000
Yeah, I don't really have many aches and pains anymore.
01:40:42.000
Are you doing just jujitsu or do you supplement it with any calisthenics or weightlifting or anything?
01:40:54.000
And I got that motor assist one, so it's kind of nice.
01:40:58.000
No, it's good because those fucking hills in my community are killer, dude.
01:41:16.000
I'll take, you know, I'll wait until it gets too easy and then I'll step it up from there, you know?
01:41:33.000
And they sent me one of those, two of those jugglers bats.
01:41:39.000
I got weak wrists, so that shit hurts when I do those.
01:41:42.000
They're really good for your shoulders, really good for your forearms, grip strength, all that stuff.
01:41:46.000
Yeah, we have a bunch of programs that John Wolf, the head fitness instructor at Onnit, put together during this quarantine so people can work out at home with minimal equipment, home workouts for six weeks.
01:42:03.000
Well, I was dropping good weight off the jiu-jitsu.
01:42:08.000
Jiu-Jitsu plus stress equals weight loss for me, really.
01:42:14.000
I went from when I started back at Jiu-Jitsu, I was 240 pounds, which is fucking huge.
01:42:23.000
You knew I was fat, but you're just too fucking nice to say it.
01:42:30.000
I don't know that because I've only seen you be nice to people.
01:42:33.000
Except for a couple of times I've seen some rando stranger end up in the green room.
01:42:37.000
You're like, dude, you got to get the fuck out of here.
01:42:44.000
Well, there's a few of those guys who made it to the back of the main room.
01:42:47.000
They just walked back there, and then they would ask for stuff, and you'd be like, who is this guy?
01:42:55.000
The Comedy Store's pretty tightened down, or was before COVID, tightened down with security.
01:43:00.000
I'm wondering when they're going to open up again, man.
01:43:02.000
Well, they were talking September, weren't they?
01:43:07.000
Well, that's what I had heard before this double lockdown now.
01:43:11.000
Speaking of lockdown, that's what you tried to do to me when we rolled.
01:43:20.000
Well, you know who thought it was a calf slicer?
01:43:22.000
My fucking calf thought it was a calf slicer, Joseph.
01:43:25.000
I was just using, I was going into a twister role.
01:43:31.000
You know, you're nice to me, but why would you want to twist me like that?
01:43:46.000
But that's probably because you need electrolytes.
01:43:52.000
Your bitch-ass shins, by the way, on my fucking calf.
01:43:59.000
Well, now, I mean, now I probably have better defense for it.
01:44:04.000
It's like what people don't want to do is give up their back, right?
01:44:07.000
So if you're inside controlling a person, what they don't want to do is give up their back.
01:44:14.000
But when they roll towards you, you take that top leg, which would be their left leg, and I lace my left leg over and under and I lock it down.
01:44:25.000
And then as I roll towards your butt, it spins you and I wind up on your back.
01:44:37.000
Yeah, he's trying to figure out different ways to get to the back and get to the twister and then get to, there's a bunch of leg locks you can do from those positions too.
01:44:46.000
Looks like Eddie and Andrew Schultz doing jiu-jitsu.
01:44:49.000
It does look like Andrew Schultz, but it's not.
01:44:54.000
I saw Henner Gracie on my Instagram feed selling sweatshirts.
01:45:02.000
It folds up into a backpack and it's like if you're on the go...
01:45:11.000
Where I'm like, fuck, this sweatshirt is killing me!
01:45:17.000
You don't have a car or a hotel room or something?
01:45:39.000
When we were having dinner, I said, John, I'm going to email it to you.
01:45:54.000
He's a DJ and he does these really dope, really well put together mixtapes.
01:46:00.000
And it's not like a lot of, there's no scratching.
01:46:02.000
It's just like really well programmed and mixed to the point where you're like, that flowed from beginning to end fucking incredibly.
01:46:15.000
Are you doing any of that while you're in lockdown?
01:46:19.000
Are you having like little parties at your house or anything?
01:46:21.000
No, I go on live every now and then and DJ for a little bit.
01:46:24.000
Instagram locks, shuts people out when they're playing music and they try to claim...
01:46:29.000
They kick you off and they say you violated copyrights.
01:46:32.000
Did you see the RZA and DJ premiere when they did it?
01:46:36.000
And I love both of them, but I really feel like Primo went easy on RZA. Oh my goodness.
01:46:50.000
Primo had a lot more ammo in his fucking arsenal that he didn't use.
01:47:02.000
And then RZA did pull out something, and I'm embarrassed that I didn't fucking know he produced it.
01:47:11.000
And I was like, fuck, that's one of my favorite Biggie songs, too.
01:47:13.000
It was just cool because you were watching these two hip-hop legends that were making the most of the pandemic.
01:47:19.000
They were in the middle of this weird thing where everybody's at home, and so you knew so many people.
01:47:26.000
Yeah, well, Swiss Beats started that, the Versus thing.
01:47:29.000
And then they did Teddy Riley versus Babyface, which was incredible as well.
01:47:36.000
I didn't get a chance to watch the Jada fabulous one yet.
01:47:47.000
Yeah, it turned into a whole platform and brand, and now it might even be a show, and they're linked to Apple.
01:48:08.000
Well, you know, it's fun how things arise from necessity, from things like COVID. Like we were talking about Andrew Schultz created that COVID comedy, like he's doing these videos.
01:48:17.000
And it arrived from not being able to create and do stand-up.
01:48:21.000
Well, you know, he was already on the way to setting up that studio that he has.
01:48:41.000
But I feel that he should have way more success than he has.
01:48:53.000
I just love the fact that people make lemonade.
01:49:01.000
This ain't good, but let's figure out how to make this into something good.
01:49:07.000
And that's something that you don't always see from people.
01:49:10.000
There's a lot of woe is me guys when the shit hits the fan.
01:49:14.000
I feel a woe to myself sometimes, but I'm also very aware that I am the reason I'm woeing.
01:49:21.000
Even when I text you, I'm like, you know, that sucks.
01:49:33.000
No matter what situation you're in in your life, you fucking got yourself there.
01:49:37.000
Sometimes it's good to go through that shit though, right?
01:50:24.000
I'm looking forward to that doc when it comes out.
01:50:25.000
It's going to be interesting, you know, because it details so many generations and so many different versions of the store, you know, from the very early days in the 70s to what was really the last, you know, the last few years was this incredible boom that was unprecedented.
01:50:41.000
By the way, I mentioned you in that when I was doing the interview.
01:50:45.000
He said, what do you think is one of the reasons for the renaissance here at the Comedy Store?
01:50:50.000
And I said, I'll be honest, I think it's Joe Rogan.
01:50:53.000
Joe Rogan came here, came back, and he brought a lot of people with him.
01:50:59.000
And I said, I really don't think it would be what it is without him.
01:51:05.000
I wouldn't just say it to say it, but I said it.
01:51:12.000
You know, when Adam was running it then, and then...
01:51:29.000
No, I guess you wouldn't because you didn't know anything else.
01:52:08.000
He's not even old enough to have hippie parents, so it's kind of weird.
01:52:16.000
Any age, you could be old enough to have hippie parents.
01:52:19.000
There's a lot of kids up there right now that are growing up with hippie parents.
01:52:28.000
They find these little communities and they connect with each other.
01:52:33.000
Too many weirdos can connect with other weirdos.
01:52:42.000
Remember like George Carlin used to say, I think we should, you know, the homeless people that you see on the street talking to themselves, they should pair them up so at least they look like they're talking to each other.
01:52:52.000
I think the possible good things outweigh the possible bad things.
01:52:57.000
I think they get together and maybe they can improve each other.
01:53:05.000
If you're doing anything by yourself, it's not good.
01:53:07.000
That's why when I see the homeless people under the bridge and they see them together, I'm like, well, I mean, it sucks, but at least you're not alone in this, you know?
01:53:17.000
If you had a measurement of happiness scale, you know, I bet some of them are probably happier than people that work constantly.
01:53:24.000
You know, I mean, what actually makes you happy?
01:53:26.000
And it also depends on which makes you miserable.
01:53:37.000
I mean, I'm quite happy being alone right now, but...
01:53:41.000
You like being alone because it's better than wishing you were alone.
01:53:52.000
That's probably the worst is wishing you were alone.
01:53:55.000
Like being with someone who you wish you weren't with is worse than being alone.
01:54:05.000
It's like, it's very difficult to figure out how do you get back, if you're with someone you don't want to be with anymore, it's very difficult to figure out how do you get back to where you were when you enjoyed them.
01:54:19.000
It needs to be both of you that want to go back.
01:54:23.000
And it's never, there's, you know, one of you is going to hang on to something.
01:54:28.000
And you're both going to hang on to different parts of something, and that's what's going to stop the reversal of fortune.
01:54:43.000
I'm going to call you when I'm about to do it, though.
01:54:55.000
You know, you should just come to my house and hang out in the backyard.
01:55:06.000
Yeah, when someone does psychedelics, the other person will be a sitter.
01:55:09.000
Yeah, because I can't trust Eddie, my assistant.
01:55:12.000
Nah, fool, I just have to go like, I had to make a phone call.
01:55:14.000
I'm like, well, why am I in the fucking pool upside down then?
01:55:19.000
The fucking voice in my head told me to go in the pool.
01:55:21.000
The voice in your head is not going to tell you to go in the pool.
01:55:23.000
It's going to tell you to lie down in the grass.
01:55:39.000
The thing about true microdosing is you're supposed to take it at really almost like sub-perceptible levels.
01:55:46.000
So you're taking it at a level where it's like you just barely get like a tiny rise from it.
01:55:52.000
And for many people, you know, Ron White is into that.
01:55:59.000
Dude, he has no clue half the time what's happening.
01:56:02.000
I remember one night I dropped him home from the comedy store.
01:56:07.000
I don't know if you know, he has drinks every now and then.
01:56:36.000
Hey, you want to come in and see what comedy can buy you?
01:56:40.000
And I'm like, in my head at that moment, I went, he doesn't realize it's me.
01:56:51.000
And in my head I'm thinking, my house is bigger than this.
01:56:55.000
And then he goes, and his girlfriend walks in and goes, oh, hey, honey, this is, I'm sorry, bud, I forgot your name.
01:57:23.000
That is, by the way, the worst Ron White impression I think I've ever heard.
01:57:45.000
He looked right at me and didn't recognize me again.
01:57:48.000
Last time he did this podcast, we were talking and I go, how often do you get fucked up?
01:58:01.000
I don't think his liver would accept him taking a night off.
01:58:05.000
But you imagine getting drunk every night and he doesn't look bad.
01:58:27.000
How do you tell a guy like that to change it up?
01:58:42.000
Keep it You think you're going to stay here though?
01:58:50.000
It will cost me a fortune that I do not have right now.
01:58:54.000
You need to get that Russell Peters podcast rolling.
01:59:06.000
Everybody wants to come up with these fucking, like, Brian Callan had mixed mental arts for a while.
01:59:19.000
I was just with Brian at Frank Grillo's birthday at Frank Grillo's place.
01:59:32.000
He looked like he got the fuck beat out of him for about three days.
01:59:36.000
Yeah, he did have kind of like a purple-y thing under.
01:59:41.000
And I think Gerard Butler was there that night.
01:59:50.000
And at the end of the night, I said to Brian, I go, well, you killed tonight, man.
02:00:00.000
He's one of the best guys for being funny in groups of people.
02:00:05.000
Like, if he never did stand-up again, but he just went to dinner every night, he'd be fine.
02:00:17.000
Dude, the first time I ever went hunting, I went hunting with Callan, me and him and Steve Rinell and the meat-eater crew, and we went to Montana, and it was seven days of hysterics.
02:00:30.000
It was just him being- No, dude, let's just make out.
02:00:35.000
I'm like, what would you do right now if I just started sucking your cock?
02:00:44.000
You know, people think about comedians, oh, they're on all the time.
02:01:05.000
Matter of fact, I have one I have to do when I'm done here.
02:01:08.000
But with Callan, Callan should do that, but with dinner guests.
02:01:16.000
How many rich guys would love to hang out with Callan?
02:01:18.000
Yeah, and even if they don't know him, once they get him, I'm like, oh yeah.
02:01:22.000
Because I saw Gerard Butler go, hey, we need to hang out.
02:01:28.000
I shut up in a lot of those situations because I'm like, I'm watching everything.
02:01:35.000
But when a lot of people are talking, there's nothing wrong with shutting up.
02:01:38.000
Hey, you don't learn when you talk, you learn when you listen.
02:01:42.000
You should write that down somewhere and put it on an Instagram page.
02:01:55.000
It would always be like a Hallmark kind of quote.
02:01:58.000
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man who's crying.
02:02:07.000
Nothing has been better for those kind of things than the internet.
02:02:12.000
You see people fucking write one line like, fuck, that would have been a great bit.
02:02:15.000
Now I can't do it because this fucking idiot posted this.
02:02:18.000
And it's also just that memes on the internet is a different style of comedy.
02:02:22.000
It's like a whole new kind of comedy that didn't exist before.
02:02:25.000
You know, when something goes wrong, like little memes.
02:02:31.000
I screenshot them and then I sent them to my brother.
02:02:38.000
There was one I saw that said, my wife's gone into labor.
02:03:02.000
The only thing that's been connecting me to everybody is doing this.
02:03:05.000
Being able to sit down with guys, shoot the shit with them, other than last weekend with Tony and Moses when we went to Houston.
02:03:30.000
I think that's what they were doing in Miami, too.
02:03:40.000
And in between, and he did the drive-in with Miss Pat as well.
02:03:50.000
It was supposed to be 120 seats, socially distanced.
02:03:58.000
So Jesus went around counting heads, and he counted 343 people, and they were like, that count was grossly inaccurate.
02:04:11.000
I don't want to be fucking shortchanged by their book, because I'm already getting shortchanged.
02:04:19.000
But in their Burt situation, Burt was worried about catching COVID. He's like, look, man, I did drive in movie theaters for a reason so that I would be away from everybody.
02:04:28.000
They're in their car, I'm over here, everybody's safe.
02:04:43.000
Fucking Bert and Tom called me a couple of weeks ago.
02:05:32.000
I'll send this to you, Jamie, so that you can put it online.
02:05:37.000
But, you know, there's a lot of people that'll tell you...
02:05:41.000
You know, they'll tell you that they've got X amount of...
02:05:45.000
People in the audience, but then once you actually get there, man.
02:05:48.000
I think once you get to middle America, they're not as ball-busting the authorities.
02:05:55.000
Well, the thing is, I don't think it's the authorities, man.
02:06:16.000
That is fucking preposterous, the size of that crowd.
02:06:19.000
That they told him it was only going to be 120 people socially distant.
02:06:27.000
I bet someone online can count 340 people from that photo.
02:06:31.000
Yeah, that's a lot of fucking people really close to each other.
02:06:34.000
See, the clubs I've been playing, I've noticed they've been paying attention.
02:06:37.000
Like in San Diego, the American Comedy Club, they had no front row at all.
02:06:43.000
Yeah, no front row at all, and then it was after that, it was tables.
02:06:48.000
Now, see, that wouldn't bother me nearly as much.
02:07:00.000
See, as long as there's enough space between you and them, so if they're laughing, you're not getting it in your mouth.
02:07:13.000
And that's why I would say, like, there's a reason you're back there and I'm here because I'm...
02:07:18.000
We've got to get to a point where there's a test that you can take immediately.
02:07:22.000
So if they have that saliva test, there's a saliva test...
02:07:25.000
The saliva test makes the most sense to me because that's where it's transmitted.
02:07:30.000
I mean, I get what you're doing, but saliva seems like the most direct way you would get it.
02:07:47.000
And apparently they're really quick, like within a few seconds.
02:07:53.000
Because you're more likely to get spit on you from somebody else than blood.
02:07:57.000
Everybody wears a mask in line, you get to the door, you lick the thing, it says you're clean, and everybody can come in and be a normal person.
02:08:04.000
If we can get to that, we can open up everything.
02:08:11.000
Yeah, they should put all their effort on that, and I know they're apparently real close to that.
02:08:16.000
Someone was telling, Trump was telling someone that they're real close to doing that.
02:08:24.000
A couple states today have issued statewide facial covering requirements in public spaces, including Texas and I think Ohio.
02:08:34.000
Well, California's had that for a while, right?
02:08:41.000
Dude, I was busting Bill Burr's balls about it.
02:08:44.000
CDC says, you know, I was just trying to rile them up.
02:08:49.000
Like, I'm seriously, like, I'm a mask denier or something.
02:08:54.000
People are so silly with what they decide to...
02:08:58.000
It's just one of those things where people are just looking for things to be upset about.
02:09:06.000
Well, he's also got rant muscles because he's ranting every week.
02:09:10.000
He does his podcast solo, which is amazing that he can produce that much content.
02:09:15.000
I mean, every fucking week he's doing two podcasts, the Monday morning podcast on Monday and he does it on Thursday too.
02:09:33.000
And they're so complete fucking polar opposites.
02:09:41.000
I mean, he's the one who figured out how to do this drive-in movie theater thing.
02:09:45.000
He's got that Two Bears, One Cave he does with Tom.
02:09:56.000
He came to my house when I was in Malibu, and we did it in my house.
02:10:08.000
I think on a worldwide scale, mine would do pretty well.
02:10:15.000
Because it takes a few months for them to really get cooking and really get a bunch of people into it.
02:10:21.000
But if you think about it now, we're here in June.
02:10:25.000
I don't see us opening any comedy until September or October.
02:10:35.000
But literally day by day I'm getting a text closed, open, closed, open, closed, open.
02:10:57.000
Is that offensive that other people call themselves Indians and never even been to India?
02:11:04.000
The Native Americans do not accept the word Indian.
02:11:07.000
I had a Native American lady on this podcast talking to me about Native American tribes, and they actually use the term Indian.
02:11:15.000
Because they were only called that because he was looking for India.
02:11:32.000
That's why I was like, what do you do on Columbus Day?
02:11:34.000
She's getting your car and she's turning your GPS off?
02:11:56.000
That's why I like talking to you, because you do give me information of shit I didn't know.
02:12:10.000
I think they didn't even land in America proper.
02:12:14.000
I think they landed in the Bahamas first, if I remember correctly, which is ridiculous.
02:12:21.000
I mean, 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, right?
02:12:28.000
It says actually neither of them landed in America.
02:12:40.000
But you know what's crazy is that we still celebrate Columbus Day when we know he's a fucking serial killer.
02:12:50.000
The shit that they did to the Native Americans that was documented by the missionaries that came along with them.
02:12:54.000
Yeah, but in Outer Mongolia, they have Genghis Khan Day, which is really a nice day.
02:13:07.000
Have you ever listened to The Wrath of the Khans from Dan Carlin from Hardcore History?
02:13:19.000
Ruthless as fuck, but when you listen to the Wrath of the Khans from Hardcore History, I think you can only get it on Dan Carlin's website now.
02:13:28.000
Dan Carlin has a system where he keeps a certain amount of them, it makes them available for free on his iTunes page, but then once they get to a certain number, then he archives them on his website and then you have to pay,
02:13:47.000
He's got a podcast, but to call his podcast and my podcast the same thing is ridiculous.
02:13:52.000
Like, his podcast is really like an amazing, super entertaining audio history book.
02:14:00.000
Yeah, but yours, I think you're underestimating how entertaining yours is.
02:14:04.000
Because I could put it on with no matter who the fuck your guest is.
02:14:08.000
No matter, even if I'm like, I don't know who that is, but I'll watch it.
02:14:10.000
And then I watch it, I go, I just learned so much.
02:14:15.000
And it's, you know, and sometimes I find even when you have the more, the people that you think you're going to get more from you, like, that wasn't it.
02:14:31.000
Well, he likes me, and he knows I like him, and we can talk.
02:14:38.000
And I'm very curious, and so I know how to pull things out of him.
02:14:43.000
And after we did the first one, the first one was a little rough at first, man.
02:14:47.000
If you go back and listen to the first one, the first...
02:14:50.000
Maybe, you know, 15-20 minutes is kind of pulling teeth and doing heavy lifting, but then he got comfortable.
02:14:58.000
When he came to the studio, he was real warm and friendly, gave me the flamethrower.
02:15:04.000
But then, once he settled in, and then we started, we drank, that was one of the reasons why we started drinking right away.
02:15:12.000
And then once he got loosened up, then we had a good time.
02:15:15.000
I met him from Jon Favreau, so I figured Fav and him are really good friends.
02:15:18.000
I thought he'd be like, you know, oh, cool, you're friends with Fav.
02:15:27.000
Yeah, I mean, he's got a different level of way of looking at things and making things happen.
02:15:44.000
And he's digging tunnels under LA and shooting rockets into space.
02:15:48.000
Meanwhile, he's making electric cars and solar panels and SolarCity.
02:16:11.000
I did a Canadian talk show and his mom was on with me.
02:16:29.000
Not too awkward, because I was like, I would take a run.
02:16:38.000
Imagine if you fuck a smart person, you get a little smarter?
02:16:42.000
Yeah, because I think I've definitely gotten dumber.
02:16:50.000
Because you gotta dumb it down to make yourself get in there.
02:16:55.000
And then when you go to a smarter woman's level, You elevate yourself, but then because they're smarter, you can't get away with the same bullshit.
02:17:04.000
There's nothing more embarrassing than if you think a girl is not so smart, and then you find out she is smart.
02:17:11.000
That's how you know she's smart, because she played it like she's not smart.
02:17:16.000
She's a very intelligent woman who understood, I'm going to use this to my advantage.
02:17:25.000
She was a very intelligent woman who knew that it was like, okay, I see.
02:17:31.000
Callan told me he did a movie with Megan Fox, and he said he made that mistake.
02:17:35.000
He was talking to her like she was a dummy, and then she turned on him, rattled off a bunch of facts and information.
02:17:44.000
Yeah, there's a reason these people are in the place they're in.
02:17:52.000
I remember Whitney got mad at me one night at the Laugh Factory.
02:18:12.000
You know, you gotta stop dating fucking stupid women, Russell.
02:18:28.000
So she probably gets upset at dumb women, like setting a bad example.
02:18:31.000
Because I'm sure she gets treated like she's a dumb woman.
02:18:35.000
So she probably sees dumb women and sees that you give them attention.
02:18:45.000
And, you know, the thing with female comics, I don't look at them as female comics, I look at them as comics.
02:18:50.000
Because I'm like, if you're able to do the same job, there's no male or female in my eyes.
02:18:58.000
Well, comedy, stand-up comedy's very much a meritocracy.
02:19:03.000
The ones who are really good get a lot of respect.
02:19:08.000
Sarah Silverman's one of my favorite comics of all time.
02:19:27.000
Because they have the balls to do something I'm not going to be able to do.
02:19:41.000
I was so excited for it because I had dropped weight and I was going to go down to 205 because I think the weight limit's 212 with the gi on.
02:19:49.000
And I'm already at 210. I'm like, fucking five more pounds, not a big deal.
02:19:56.000
Blue Belt Masters, under 50, because I'll be 50 in September.
02:20:19.000
If the Olympics aren't happening, then no fucking world master jiu-jitsu is going to happen.
02:20:23.000
Well, there have been some grappling competitions, though.
02:20:34.000
Listen, I like no gi, but I'm not ready for no gi.
02:20:45.000
It's definitely different with grips and stuff.
02:20:53.000
I'm always fucking, get your fucking hand away from me.
02:20:57.000
When I see the hand come out, I push it out of the way so I can get their neck.
02:21:00.000
Well, John Jack always says, don't ever trust your neck.
02:21:05.000
He goes, don't ever trust your neck unless you have my neck.
02:21:14.000
He came to the gym shortly after I did the podcast last time, and he was dropping off one to John Jack.
02:21:20.000
And he was like, hey, I just heard you on Rogue.
02:21:21.000
And I go, so can I get one of these fucking things or what?
02:21:33.000
Because he keeps sending me the newest versions of it, but I still use the old version.
02:21:41.000
I'm sure the new version's better, but I haven't even bothered taking it out of the box.
02:21:44.000
I would like to just tighten this shit up here.
02:22:06.000
And it's the safest for strengthening your neck.
02:22:09.000
Yeah, in boxing we used to have to lay at the end of the ring with your head hanging off.
02:22:17.000
And it wasn't even like a thing that was secure.
02:22:20.000
It was like a fucking leather strap belt with some weights hanging off your forehead.
02:22:29.000
I don't think it's natural to put extra weight on your head and then bend it and put all that pressure on your discs of your neck.
02:22:37.000
The beautiful thing about the Iron Neck is it strengthens your neck without having to bend it in any weird way.
02:22:43.000
So your posture is straight like this and you have the halo that goes on the head and then the 50-pound bungee cord.
02:22:49.000
So as you back up, you're never doing weird shit like this, which puts that additional pressure on your discs.
02:23:23.000
If you look at Triggered and Strange Times, I'm wearing your watch.
02:23:27.000
You know, whenever I'm watching UFC, I go, what's he wearing?
02:23:30.000
And I noticed you're always wearing this stainless Roli.
02:23:54.000
But when you gave me that watch, like legitimately, I think my Comedy Central special from 2014 has that watch on too.
02:24:12.000
I said to my guy, I said, hey, Todd, I'm doing Rogan today.
02:24:18.000
And he goes, oh, that's the one I'm working with, the one I'm CCO of, Red Light Holland.
02:24:33.000
I need something I can look at and get the information real quick.
02:24:46.000
I can't imagine how the truffles are legal and then the caps are not.
02:24:55.000
Right, but, for some reason, it's the loophole, and we're taking advantage of the loophole.
02:25:02.000
And we're doing it in a way that it doesn't fuck you up.
02:25:07.000
We're taking the right amounts for the microdosing.
02:25:12.000
Well, a lot of people in San Francisco, before San Francisco imploded, they were all doing the microdosing in tech communities.
02:25:21.000
That'd be great, yeah, because you open up your mind, you get some ideas.
02:25:26.000
Because he's got some fucking wild out there ideas.
02:25:36.000
I think we're all like chimp people and he's like this new thing.
02:25:44.000
It said, Elon Musk's kid will not have birthdays.
02:25:54.000
That's one of the things that I asked him, too.
02:26:01.000
I mean, I think ideas are just bouncing off his head like a fucking Super Bowl.
02:26:17.000
I mean, you're, to me, you are, I don't know if you know this, but to me and a lot of people, I would say almost all of your listeners, you are the guy that a lot of people go to to find out information.
02:26:37.000
That's one thing that I've learned from doing this podcast.
02:26:39.000
I've learned how to look at information for what it really is.
02:26:43.000
And I've learned there's zero benefit in not admitting you're wrong and zero benefit in pretending you have information that you don't have.
02:26:59.000
Some things, ask my wife, a lot of shit I don't keep.
02:27:02.000
I mean, you didn't remember to download Scotty Fox's mix that I sent you, but I mean...
02:27:09.000
We were at dinner, it was you, me, the hunter guy, and the black guy who makes me feel bad about sleeping in.
02:27:25.000
And Chuck Zito had that crazy jacket with the tassels, the crazy Native American jacket.
02:27:31.000
So he comes over to hug everybody and his tassels are getting into everybody's drinks.
02:27:39.000
He's, you know, despite his hard exterior, he's the sweetest guy in the world.
02:27:59.000
The old school, you know, the old school guys are like, you know, it's about honor and their word.
02:28:05.000
I think I'm a little old school in that regard.
02:28:22.000
Yeah, we'll work it out through this month in August.
02:28:32.000
You know, we'll get high on mushrooms and do the first one.