The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1516

00:00:05.000 That's my Everybody's Too High song.

00:00:13.000 When it's like, oh no.

00:00:16.000 This guy's fucking high.

00:00:18.000 Hang on.

00:00:23.000 And we're rolling.

00:00:24.000 What's up, brother?

00:00:24.000 How are you?

00:00:25.000 How are you?

00:00:26.000 Got you in here, man.

00:00:27.000 I'm excited.

00:00:28.000 I'm finally here.

00:00:29.000 I'm happy to be here.

00:00:30.000 This is your shit?

00:00:31.000 Yeah, come on.

00:00:33.000 Cheers, sir.

00:00:34.000 Why not?

00:00:34.000 Pleasure.

00:00:36.000 Also, precursor, I haven't slept.

00:00:38.000 I know.

00:00:38.000 We haven't slept.

00:00:39.000 We're on mushrooms.

00:00:42.000 Let's roll.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, fuck it.

00:00:45.000 We'll do it live.

00:00:46.000 Let's do it live!

00:00:48.000 Fuck it!

00:00:51.000 Why Utah, man?

00:00:52.000 Why you live in Utah?

00:00:53.000 What's that about?

00:00:54.000 I have no idea.

00:00:56.000 Are you from there?

00:00:57.000 No, sir.

00:00:58.000 I was born in Syracuse, New York.

00:01:00.000 It's beautiful there.

00:01:00.000 I love it.

00:01:00.000 It's absolutely something special.

00:01:02.000 I really love it.

00:01:02.000 It's got a good vibe, too, because it's almost like Utah is a secret, because everybody's scared of the Mormons, so they don't go there.

00:01:11.000 Right.

00:01:11.000 But then you get there, and you're like, Jesus Christ, it's beautiful, and these Mormons are so nice.

00:01:15.000 Everybody's so nice.

00:01:17.000 Everybody's so nice in Utah.

00:01:21.000 So I don't remember what tour it was exactly, but there were supposed to be 5,000 people to show up.

00:01:27.000 And then we end up getting to the show and there's 17,000 people.

00:01:31.000 So we had to move it outside of the venue, right on the Salt Flats.

00:01:36.000 Oh, wow.

00:01:36.000 And I was just like, if this isn't a sign from...

00:01:42.000 God or the aliens, then I don't know what is.

00:01:48.000 So I looked at houses on Zillow and I found one and fixed it all up.

00:01:53.000 That's awesome.

00:01:54.000 No, I've been there two years just about.

00:01:56.000 It's a good spot for a guy like you, too, because it's chill in comparison to the rest of your life, which is so crazy.

00:02:02.000 Yeah, well, that's all shit.

00:02:03.000 I couldn't do L.A. I couldn't do L.A. like...

00:02:09.000 I moved, like I said, from Syracuse to Dallas and then Dallas to LA when I was 18. It's a lot for me and I couldn't focus the way that I needed to.

00:02:21.000 On your music?

00:02:22.000 Yeah.

00:02:24.000 Before COVID, there's always something Going on right like 24 7 like it could be 8 in the morning.

00:02:34.000 It could be What time is it right now 2 o'clock something?

00:02:38.000 Yeah, and then you got to go do a podcast or you got to go to like a rooftop pool party or something and You know it being in Utah.

00:02:50.000 It's so Peaceful, like you said, and you get to focus on the music and wake up to the mountain.

00:02:57.000 And the sun sets at 10pm, which is bizarre, right around this time.

00:03:03.000 It's just nuts.

00:03:05.000 It is bizarre, right?

00:03:07.000 Like now, it's especially bizarre.

00:03:10.000 Utah's always got a weird vibe, man.

00:03:13.000 Like Zion National Park.

00:03:14.000 You go out there to the rocks and shit.

00:03:16.000 Skinwalker Ranch.

00:03:17.000 I've been there.

00:03:17.000 Have you?

00:03:18.000 Yeah, nothing happened, though.

00:03:19.000 We went there for a TV show.

00:03:20.000 We're like, come on, aliens.

00:03:22.000 Where are you, you fucks?

00:03:24.000 They weren't buying it.

00:03:25.000 You don't know Tyler.

00:03:27.000 Tyler...

00:03:27.000 The alien.

00:03:28.000 Oh, no.

00:03:29.000 Yeah, that's my dog.

00:03:30.000 You were telling me you have an alien friend named Tyler.

00:03:32.000 Yeah, his best friend's name is Ziggy.

00:03:34.000 Do they visit you in the middle of the night?

00:03:36.000 No, they don't.

00:03:37.000 They just visit me during the day.

00:03:38.000 We just play beer pong.

00:03:41.000 Damn.

00:03:41.000 If you do the right drugs, you can meet the aliens.

00:03:43.000 We were talking about that in the green room.

00:03:45.000 If you do the right amount of mushrooms in a tank, get in a float tank, you can meet aliens.

00:03:51.000 100%.

00:03:51.000 Well, that's whenever you're most vulnerable.

00:03:53.000 Like you said, most vulnerable, most susceptible to...

00:03:57.000 That's why I like weed.

00:03:59.000 We were talking about weed makes you vulnerable and I think for someone like me that's a good thing to think that way.

00:04:06.000 Just look at all the vulnerabilities and just the reality of life and the temporary nature of it which makes me more appreciative.

00:04:14.000 The fear actually makes me more appreciative.

00:04:17.000 But mushrooms are a different animal, man.

00:04:19.000 They just bring you to this weird place that's right next door.

00:04:23.000 It's like a hall pass to this other place.

00:04:26.000 You get a VIP bracelet, you get to go into another room that's right there all the time.

00:04:32.000 But you can't go in until you get that bracelet.

00:04:36.000 And that's the whole thing.

00:04:38.000 I've been doing these microdoses for a while.

00:04:41.000 And you don't really catch it until you do like 10, like right off the rip.

00:04:47.000 But then I ate these chocolates the other day.

00:04:50.000 Some shroomies chocolates.

00:04:53.000 And me and my producer, Lou, we made a Coachella set for about two hours.

00:05:00.000 Wow.

00:05:00.000 Do you know Roblox?

00:05:03.000 Yes.

00:05:03.000 I have girls.

00:05:04.000 Young daughters.

00:05:05.000 A 10-year-old and a 12-year-old are obsessed with Roblox.

00:05:08.000 Do you know the death sound of Roblox?

00:05:09.000 No.

00:05:10.000 What's the sound?

00:05:16.000 That's what happens when you die?

00:05:17.000 Yeah, and then I sampled it, and we made a whole two-hour set off of the deal with just a fucking four-to-the-floor kick drum, and it was the time of my life.

00:05:26.000 Wow.

00:05:27.000 And I felt like I got that VIP wristband, and I was backstage at Ziggy and Tyler's concert, The Aliens.

00:05:36.000 Do you feel like that sometimes when ideas come to you, when you're fucked up?

00:05:40.000 Like it's almost like it's a gift from somewhere?

00:05:44.000 I have no idea.

00:05:46.000 I think...

00:05:48.000 All of my ideas are kind of like mistakes.

00:05:53.000 It's like...

00:05:55.000 Because you never wake up and say, today I'm going to write the, you know, congratulations or any song.

00:06:03.000 And you kind of just...

00:06:06.000 It's all about like...

00:06:08.000 Right moment, right time.

00:06:10.000 Like I had, oh, I had like eight Bud Lights, right?

00:06:14.000 And then I took just a tiny bit of shrooms and then here it's like...

00:06:20.000 And then it just happens.

00:06:24.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 It's like...

00:06:26.000 It is an accident.

00:06:29.000 It is just like a spur-of-the-moment type deal to where you're like, let me...

00:06:35.000 Sing this melody over this beat or let me make this beat even.

00:06:40.000 And it just kind of happens.

00:06:42.000 I don't know.

00:06:44.000 That's the flow state, right?

00:06:45.000 You can get out of your own way, and you can let ideas come to you.

00:06:49.000 I was talking with this dude, his name's Joe DeSena, he runs a Spartan race.

00:06:54.000 He's a really smart guy, very interesting guy.

00:06:56.000 He does a lot of stuff for kids, he's got all these kid programs, these kids do difficult tasks, and they do it over a summer camp, it gets them better.

00:07:05.000 But we were talking about it, and we were talking about being healthy and all the benefits of being healthy, and I was like, there's a lot to that, but there's also a lot to the person who binges and creates something incredible.

00:07:18.000 We were talking about Stephen King's books.

00:07:20.000 Some of the ones he doesn't even remember are the best ones, because he was on Coke and drinking a fucking case of Bud.

00:07:26.000 It just blasted out of his head, chain-smoking cigarettes, and he doesn't even remember writing.

00:07:31.000 I think it's Cujo.

00:07:32.000 He doesn't even remember writing it.

00:07:34.000 Wrote Carrie, Half Blacked Out.

00:07:36.000 You read that book today, man?

00:07:38.000 That is one of the best fucking horror books ever.

00:07:40.000 My dad's the biggest Stephen King's fan.

00:07:42.000 Stephen King fan.

00:07:43.000 Dude.

00:07:44.000 He's amazing.

00:07:45.000 But, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, to each his own.

00:07:49.000 You know what I mean?

00:07:50.000 I mean, whatever gets you through the night.

00:07:53.000 Some people can definitely do it straight.

00:07:56.000 I've definitely had ideas without any influence of anything before.

00:08:00.000 But I feel like sometimes things come to you when you're a little high at least, a little drunk, and they're like, I don't know if I would have ever thought about this without the weed.

00:08:11.000 They just come out of nowhere.

00:08:13.000 And that's the whole thing too.

00:08:15.000 Like drinking rose or drinking Bud Light and then a little bit of just something else.

00:08:22.000 Whether it be smoking a little bit of a J. Because I'm an anxious person.

00:08:28.000 You told me before you're not an anxious person.

00:08:30.000 Not really.

00:08:31.000 But I used to smoke a lot.

00:08:33.000 But now not so much.

00:08:35.000 Maybe I'll watch a funny movie and then shit.

00:08:39.000 But...

00:08:41.000 It's that stroke of genius, and you're like, if I was nothing in my blood right now but just blood, no booze, no anything, would I have thought of that?

00:08:57.000 And that's the whole different deal.

00:09:00.000 It's wild, really.

00:09:03.000 I think of pot the way I think of wakeboarding.

00:09:05.000 Sure.

00:09:06.000 Because when you're wakeboarding and you're on that wave...

00:09:09.000 I don't wakeboard, but when I watch people do it...

00:09:11.000 I don't wakeboard either.

00:09:12.000 It looks awesome, right?

00:09:14.000 When they're on that and they're catching those waves, but then when they wipe out, man, they go down hard.

00:09:18.000 And that's like weed.

00:09:19.000 It's like you're not going to stay on that board forever.

00:09:21.000 If you get really fucked up, that board's going to flip over and you're going to be on your face.

00:09:25.000 Whenever you rip that big-ass trick, you do the behind-the-back double spin.

00:09:31.000 That's the stroke of genius, and that's...

00:09:34.000 That's what I think that...

00:09:36.000 There's a certain magic that goes into making a record or, you know, if you're a painter, a painting, or if you're a dancer, a fucking cool dance move.

00:09:47.000 I think they're all related in some way.

00:09:48.000 Yeah, there's something there that just kicks off.

00:09:51.000 And you can't control it and you can't say when it's going to happen, but it just happens.

00:09:57.000 Whatever that is that makes humans so interested in creating things that other people are going to enjoy.

00:10:02.000 But that's what it is.

00:10:04.000 It's like there's a weird frequency.

00:10:06.000 Humans creating things that they know other people are going to enjoy.

00:10:09.000 And if you can just get lost in the beauty of just creating the thing and get out of your own way, then these ideas will come to you.

00:10:16.000 But if you get in your own way, you have less bandwidth for the ideas.

00:10:20.000 And when they come to you, it feels like they aren't even yours.

00:10:24.000 It's like you're interacting with something.

00:10:27.000 If you have an idea for a new bit or something like that, sometimes they just come from nowhere.

00:10:34.000 Where did that come from?

00:10:35.000 What is this?

00:10:37.000 Where are our premises from?

00:10:39.000 What's an idea from?

00:10:40.000 Creativity comes from the weirdest part of your brain that no one knows how to...

00:10:45.000 You can have breathing exercises.

00:10:47.000 You can do all sorts of things to try to stimulate it.

00:10:49.000 But the reality is you can't even measure it.

00:10:51.000 You don't know when it's up, when it's down.

00:10:53.000 You just know what you're doing.

00:10:54.000 If you're making some cool shit.

00:10:58.000 That's so bizarre to think about.

00:11:01.000 Like you said, it's just really humans creating something that other humans fuck with.

00:11:07.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

00:11:09.000 It makes you feel good.

00:11:11.000 There's something there.

00:11:13.000 When you're in concert and you see 15,000 people rocking out to your song, that has got to be a crazy feeling.

00:11:21.000 Yeah, it is.

00:11:23.000 Well, whenever, you know, you're on the podcast, everybody's seeing you.

00:11:26.000 Whenever you're kicking somebody in the face, everybody watching.

00:11:30.000 There's a feeling there, and it's just like...

00:11:33.000 Oh, I realize, finally, I'm not actually just one person.

00:11:40.000 Yeah.

00:11:41.000 I... As, like...

00:11:45.000 Mithril as it sounds, I'm with everybody.

00:11:49.000 You're with everybody.

00:11:50.000 In one moment in time, everybody is there doing the same thing with the same energy, the same good intention.

00:11:59.000 Yes.

00:12:00.000 It's fucking magical.

00:12:03.000 You know, it's weird.

00:12:04.000 Yeah, that's what you're doing, right?

00:12:06.000 You're tapping into some magic.

00:12:08.000 I'm trying.

00:12:09.000 But that's what it is.

00:12:10.000 If you think about what kind of alchemy is involved in making the right sounds to make people feel different.

00:12:16.000 Sure.

00:12:16.000 Because with a great song, man, you're giving a person a drug.

00:12:20.000 There's a dopamine rush.

00:12:22.000 You get goosebumps.

00:12:23.000 A great song will hit you.

00:12:25.000 When you're doing that, man, you're hitting that audience.

00:12:29.000 15,000 people?

00:12:31.000 And they're all vibing on this thing that you've created.

00:12:34.000 Like, that's kind of magic.

00:12:36.000 It's fucking magic!

00:12:38.000 And that's the coolest thing.

00:12:39.000 Because if you didn't know it existed, you would never believe someone could do it.

00:12:43.000 You're like, what are you talking about?

00:12:44.000 If there was no music at all, imagine a world with no music.

00:12:47.000 We're just animals.

00:12:48.000 They never figured out how to make melodies and bars and songs that you write down.

00:12:52.000 We're just animals.

00:12:53.000 If someone told you, hey man, I'm going to make some sounds, and people are going to lose their shit.

00:12:59.000 15,000 people are going to get it.

00:13:01.000 Screaming, dancing.

00:13:03.000 I always think about this too, and this is a weird thought.

00:13:06.000 You know how there's famous people throughout history.

00:13:10.000 Yeah.

00:13:11.000 How the fuck do they know what they look like?

00:13:14.000 Think about in Wild West times, when they see a dude in a bar and he's like, oh, you're Crazy Bill, I've seen you.

00:13:23.000 How does that work?

00:13:24.000 How did they even know it was that guy?

00:13:25.000 How did they even know?

00:13:26.000 And then even somebody could say, oh, I'm Crazy Bill.

00:13:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:32.000 But then how do you even believe him?

00:13:35.000 Well, there was imposter people all up until the internet.

00:13:38.000 You know, there's like, you can't be a fake Post Malone today.

00:13:42.000 But you could in 1970. You could play it off.

00:13:46.000 No one can get information to the real one.

00:13:48.000 But then you have to think about these stories that people tell and think if it's the imposter or if it's the real dude.

00:13:54.000 Right.

00:13:55.000 There's probably a lot of fuckery when it comes to Wild West stories.

00:13:58.000 Or think about even 1600s.

00:14:00.000 Like, oh, this dude was crazy with a battle axe or something.

00:14:04.000 I saw him cut nine dudes in half with one swing.

00:14:09.000 Right.

00:14:09.000 But it's the wrong dude.

00:14:10.000 Right.

00:14:12.000 It's not even fucking William the...

00:14:14.000 Whatever he is.

00:14:17.000 Braveheart?

00:14:18.000 That one?

00:14:19.000 No, just a cool...

00:14:20.000 What's a cool word?

00:14:21.000 What's a cool name for a dude who swings battle axes?

00:14:24.000 The behemoth.

00:14:26.000 The slicer.

00:14:28.000 It was Charlie the Slicer.

00:14:31.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

00:14:33.000 You gotta think.

00:14:34.000 There's no way to tell.

00:14:35.000 But just imagine history before pictures.

00:14:38.000 What are you talking about?

00:14:39.000 Draw me a picture.

00:14:40.000 This is what the boats would look like when they would pull...

00:14:42.000 How the fuck do you know?

00:14:43.000 Like, it was an abstract idea.

00:14:45.000 The only way you could see something was someone had to draw it for you.

00:14:50.000 Right.

00:14:51.000 Well, that's what I love to think.

00:14:53.000 It used to be like Instagram filters, essentially.

00:14:56.000 Like, oh, I'm a rich dude.

00:14:58.000 I want this artist to paint me.

00:15:00.000 Right.

00:15:00.000 But make me skinny.

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:02.000 Like, make me ripped.

00:15:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:05.000 Make me a little more handsome.

00:15:07.000 Give me a bigger dick in my statue.

00:15:10.000 You know what I mean?

00:15:11.000 Big.

00:15:11.000 Big old dick.

00:15:12.000 Yeah.

00:15:15.000 That was Instagram filters.

00:15:17.000 You're a rich person.

00:15:18.000 That's exactly what it is.

00:15:20.000 We have no idea what anybody really looked like.

00:15:23.000 I mean, imagine if there was like this one guy you would go to in the neighborhood and all the ladies were like, you gotta go to him.

00:15:28.000 He makes your ass look so perfect.

00:15:29.000 And like, that's how they would get their picture done.

00:15:32.000 This dude would paint some nonsense version of them.

00:15:35.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 No one knows.

00:15:38.000 How do you know?

00:15:38.000 I wasn't there.

00:15:39.000 Fucking mirrors barely worked back then.

00:15:40.000 I wasn't there.

00:15:41.000 Mirrors were probably terrible back then.

00:15:43.000 When were mirrors invented?

00:15:45.000 They're looking at shit through fire, right?

00:15:47.000 That's the only way they light any room up.

00:15:49.000 It's fire.

00:15:50.000 They have little lamps everywhere.

00:15:51.000 It's preposterous.

00:15:52.000 They have no idea what they look like.

00:15:53.000 It doesn't work.

00:15:54.000 No.

00:15:54.000 It doesn't work.

00:15:55.000 So imagine this is how ballsy people were in like the 1400s.

00:16:00.000 There were people that would get in a boat and travel across a fucking ocean.

00:16:05.000 It would take weeks and weeks and weeks based on a drawing and some shit someone wrote down.

00:16:10.000 Yeah, it's fucking insane.

00:16:11.000 Insane.

00:16:12.000 You don't even know where the fuck you are.

00:16:14.000 Insane.

00:16:15.000 Also, there's some salty dogs and some rapscallions.

00:16:20.000 What's another pirate term?

00:16:23.000 Dude, I was reading about pirates off the coast of South Carolina.

00:16:27.000 Was it Blackbeard?

00:16:28.000 Is he the big one?

00:16:30.000 It just makes you think, like, Jesus Christ, these are real people that would get, like, real famous dudes who'd get in boats and show up and just fuck people up and steal all their shit.

00:16:40.000 They were famous for doing that.

00:16:42.000 So crazy.

00:16:43.000 And it's so funny you bring up Blackbeard.

00:16:45.000 Because I saw...

00:16:47.000 Somebody had like some kind of sash or like...

00:16:51.000 Like a Miss America?

00:16:54.000 Like a bandolier.

00:16:55.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:16:57.000 And it looked like you had a bunch of black powder pistols.

00:17:01.000 Like you got one shot and then you're out.

00:17:05.000 It's so funny.

00:17:06.000 That wasn't that long ago, man.

00:17:09.000 That's the early 1800s when they came up with a revolver.

00:17:13.000 The Colt came up with a revolver, and they didn't even really put it to use until the Texas Rangers.

00:17:17.000 The Texas Rangers figured out how to...

00:17:20.000 There's a guy named Jack Hayes.

00:17:22.000 I think he's the original Texas Ranger.

00:17:24.000 Basically, he was this badass dude who figured out how to fight the Indians on their turf.

00:17:29.000 They were basically like the Navy SEALs of the Texas Frontier guys who fought against the Comanches.

00:17:36.000 And this guy figured out how to use a revolver.

00:17:38.000 That wasn't that long ago, man.

00:17:39.000 That's like 1840. And it's moving so fast.

00:17:43.000 You know what they say?

00:17:44.000 They say, God made man, Samuel Colt made him equal.

00:17:47.000 Yeah, that's a fucking great statement.

00:17:50.000 Colt invented the revolver.

00:17:52.000 They're the ones who invented the, I think it was a five-shot revolver.

00:17:56.000 That was the first time they figured out how to fight the Comanches.

00:17:58.000 They would ride on a horse.

00:18:00.000 They'd stay on the horse.

00:18:01.000 They didn't get off the chute.

00:18:03.000 And they could shoot five times in a row.

00:18:04.000 And they had a bunch of those cartridges.

00:18:06.000 So the cartridges are already loaded.

00:18:08.000 So they'd take it off, put a new cartridge in, fully loaded, and lock it in place.

00:18:12.000 Sure.

00:18:12.000 It was the whole wheel.

00:18:14.000 Yeah, the whole wheel.

00:18:15.000 So you only carry a few of those with you.

00:18:18.000 Crazy shit, man.

00:18:19.000 It's so bizarre how much shit has...

00:18:25.000 We've evolved to kill each other.

00:18:27.000 Since 1840. It's fucking insane.

00:18:30.000 Insane.

00:18:30.000 And even you think about, even before, whenever you had musketeers and shit, and you would just stand in a line...

00:18:39.000 And you would shoot and then a dude behind you would shoot and everybody's just shooting looking right at each other.

00:18:44.000 Ridiculous.

00:18:45.000 It's the craziest fucking shit.

00:18:50.000 They fought like that for a long time, man.

00:18:52.000 They fought with honor and dignity.

00:18:54.000 Like they would show up and blow trumpets when it was time to fight and then they'd go fight each other.

00:18:58.000 They'd all stand in a line.

00:19:00.000 You had two guys talk.

00:19:01.000 You had two guys walk up and talk, go back, and then everybody else would just shoot each other.

00:19:08.000 Point blank.

00:19:10.000 It blows my mind.

00:19:12.000 You know what's crazy too?

00:19:13.000 There was a lot of them would give up and they would surrender and they would hand the man their sword and they would accept it and shake their hand.

00:19:23.000 They had like weird rules of combat that everybody sort of adhered to back then.

00:19:27.000 It's very strange to read about.

00:19:29.000 It's...

00:19:31.000 It's different.

00:19:32.000 It's different as fuck, but it's not that long ago.

00:19:34.000 That's what's crazy.

00:19:36.000 It's like the best you could do is shoot someone with a musket or a cannon just a couple hundred years ago.

00:19:40.000 Right.

00:19:41.000 I mean, that's manageable.

00:19:45.000 Nuclear weapons aren't manageable.

00:19:46.000 Yeah, now it's like one nuclear bomb will ruin your whole day.

00:19:50.000 Yeah.

00:19:51.000 That's not manageable.

00:19:52.000 At all.

00:19:53.000 It's awful.

00:19:55.000 Tyler and Ziggy are looking down at us right now.

00:19:58.000 I think that's why they're here.

00:20:00.000 I agree.

00:20:01.000 I agree wholeheartedly.

00:20:02.000 I think they're like, these dummies are going to do something stupid.

00:20:06.000 If aliens are real, I'm not 100% convinced, but I'm probably like 90% convinced.

00:20:12.000 But if they are real, I leave in the room for bullshit.

00:20:14.000 It's like, Jamie, get a picture of your shirt.

00:20:18.000 Show everybody the shirt you're wearing while we're talking about that.

00:20:21.000 It's a UFO. It says, can they see it?

00:20:24.000 Believe that.

00:20:25.000 That's a dope shirt.

00:20:27.000 That's a saucer, if I've ever seen one.

00:20:29.000 I think if they're here, they're not gonna let us.

00:20:32.000 That's what I think.

00:20:33.000 Well, that's what...

00:20:34.000 I think they're gonna swoop in and go, hey, hey, hey!

00:20:37.000 Well, that's...

00:20:38.000 Fuck!

00:20:38.000 I'm 25, right?

00:20:40.000 I can't speak on anything.

00:20:42.000 But just looking from past experience...

00:20:47.000 And, you know, there's, like, drawings.

00:20:49.000 Like, even in the Mona Lisa, there's a weird thing or whatever in the background and shit.

00:20:55.000 But there's a spike.

00:20:59.000 It's a spike in like, because it's getting pretty weird here.

00:21:03.000 The spike, they think, it's hard to tell because sometimes when people talk about UFOs, a bunch of other people hallucinate or lie.

00:21:11.000 Like, there's a lot of that.

00:21:12.000 Right.

00:21:13.000 So every time there's a real legit UFO, you get a bunch of nut, just nutcases, who just want to tell crazy shit about being taken aboard spaceships.

00:21:20.000 And I've seen one.

00:21:20.000 I mean, I never...

00:21:21.000 You've seen a UFO? Yeah.

00:21:22.000 What'd you see?

00:21:23.000 What'd it look like?

00:21:24.000 I was in, I was...

00:21:26.000 Probably 16. I was in upstate New York and it would just stay there.

00:21:34.000 Let me precursor this.

00:21:36.000 My aunt and uncle were very strict and we had to go to bed at a very strict deadline, probably 10 p.m.

00:21:45.000 I was looking out the window with my cousin and it's just a light that just stays there and then just fucking goes off.

00:21:58.000 You can't explain it.

00:22:01.000 Well, if you're 17 at the time?

00:22:04.000 16. Probably.

00:22:08.000 How strong is this memory when you're looking at it, when you're trying to remember it?

00:22:11.000 Medium.

00:22:12.000 Medium.

00:22:13.000 Yeah.

00:22:15.000 But I mean, there's something there.

00:22:16.000 For sure something took off and did something that didn't make sense to you.

00:22:19.000 For sure.

00:22:20.000 And then in Utah, I mean, there shit happens all the time.

00:22:23.000 I mean, even here in LA. I can't tell you how many times, because I used to live in Tarzana.

00:22:29.000 So, there was like a balcony here, and it looked kind of like...

00:22:36.000 It sounds corny.

00:22:41.000 But like a classic like force field.

00:22:43.000 Whenever you think of a force field and it just kind of goes like this and it's kind of like a dome in a circular shape.

00:22:52.000 And it just goes like this and goes back in.

00:22:57.000 In Tarzana.

00:22:59.000 Looking down at the fucking city.

00:23:01.000 And I'm like, how did no one else see this?

00:23:02.000 They might have.

00:23:03.000 But I was there with like fucking four other people and they saw it too.

00:23:07.000 The thing about unique events is if a unique event happens and it never happens again, it's hard to remember.

00:23:15.000 It's hard to be sure what you saw.

00:23:17.000 It's hard.

00:23:18.000 But if aliens are visiting us, how often are they doing it?

00:23:22.000 Unique events would probably be what it would be.

00:23:24.000 It would be like occasionally.

00:23:26.000 Once every six months someone sees one somewhere.

00:23:29.000 But they're here all the time.

00:23:30.000 They probably just know how to evade detection.

00:23:33.000 I mean, if something can travel here from another planet, it's gonna be able to know when they're being watched and when they're not being watched.

00:23:41.000 That's not gonna be hard.

00:23:42.000 That's why you gotta wonder if it's like intentional.

00:23:45.000 I think there's enough talk about it now that we're probably gonna find out what it is in our lifetime.

00:23:52.000 I never would think that before.

00:23:54.000 I think the government withheld information for whatever reason.

00:23:57.000 Maybe they think people are scared.

00:23:58.000 Maybe they think it's a threat to the national security to have a bunch of people worried that aliens are flying around us all the time.

00:24:07.000 There's nothing we can do about it.

00:24:09.000 Maybe they had a conversation and they thought maybe it'd be better to keep people in the quiet or keep them in the dark.

00:24:15.000 So that they don't freak out.

00:24:16.000 Because there's nothing we can do about it anyway.

00:24:18.000 If we just tell them that there's aliens that are visiting us all the time, that's not going to be good.

00:24:23.000 They're not going to pay attention to taxes and mortgage rates and the stock market.

00:24:27.000 They're going to be like, holy fuck.

00:24:29.000 They care about uranium and shit like that.

00:24:31.000 There's aliens.

00:24:31.000 They're around us all the time.

00:24:32.000 People are going to freak out.

00:24:34.000 So I think little drops, like the recent one they said.

00:24:38.000 Yeah, what did the Pentagon just say?

00:24:41.000 Literally like two fucking days ago.

00:24:43.000 They've recovered...

00:24:45.000 Crafts that are not from this world.

00:24:48.000 Not made on earth.

00:24:49.000 Not made on earth.

00:24:51.000 They're basically saying we don't know what the fuck it is, but we didn't make it.

00:24:56.000 That's bananas.

00:24:58.000 And I think that's gonna lead to more and more information coming out about it where we're gonna try to get a sense of understanding.

00:25:05.000 How long have they known this?

00:25:07.000 You know how much of like all that Roswell, New Mexico shit was true.

00:25:11.000 Tell us what was going on.

00:25:14.000 It backtracking.

00:25:15.000 You gotta wonder if like, oh, we've been hiding this the whole time, or this is the first time for real.

00:25:24.000 That we don't know.

00:25:26.000 This is what I like to think.

00:25:27.000 I like to think that the people that are in charge at the Pentagon are patriots and they realize it's probably better, especially when you're dealing with the United States in this kind of turmoil that they're in right now.

00:25:38.000 It's crazy between racial turmoil and turmoil with the police and turmoil with people protesting in cities and blocking traffic.

00:25:48.000 There's so much crazy turmoil.

00:25:49.000 They'd be like, no one's even going to notice now.

00:25:51.000 Just say it now.

00:25:53.000 Just say, yeah, we got UFOs.

00:25:54.000 Everything is so crazy.

00:25:56.000 The news cycle of any crazy story like this is only a few days, and then people forget.

00:26:01.000 Or, it's just people already know, and it's just normalization.

00:26:07.000 And you think about movies as just normalizing you to the idea that...

00:26:12.000 I can't even...

00:26:14.000 Like the Canadian, don't quote me on this, but a Canadian someone in office was like, there's like seven species of aliens in the U.S. government.

00:26:29.000 It would be crazy if it was true.

00:26:31.000 You know, Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith were right all along.

00:26:36.000 Yeah, check that out.

00:26:37.000 Please fact check that for me.

00:26:38.000 Is he a loony person though?

00:26:39.000 I have no idea.

00:26:41.000 See, people can get elected and still be crazy.

00:26:44.000 That's a problem.

00:26:45.000 That's a problem.

00:26:47.000 When you hear about someone having a really high-profile job and they say something crazy, it doesn't mean they're not crazy.

00:26:53.000 Just because they're the prime minister of some fucking country, they could be out of their mind.

00:26:57.000 What do we got?

00:26:58.000 Something close to that.

00:27:00.000 How close?

00:27:05.000 Where is it?

00:27:06.000 Canada's former defense minister claims that aliens are real.

00:27:09.000 Apparently there is a humanoid-esque race of aliens called the Tall Whites living among us.

00:27:16.000 Huh.

00:27:18.000 It's Adam Curry.

00:27:19.000 What publication is this?

00:27:20.000 It's Adam Curry.

00:27:20.000 Is this Vice?

00:27:21.000 Yeah, it's on Vice.

00:27:22.000 It's on Vice and there's a few other places.

00:27:24.000 There's a few.

00:27:24.000 So it's like a real deal.

00:27:27.000 He definitely said it, it seems like.

00:27:30.000 Come on.

00:27:30.000 That's crazy shit!

00:27:32.000 Yeah, that is crazy shit.

00:27:34.000 The thing is, is that guy nuts?

00:27:35.000 Like, what else does he believe in?

00:27:36.000 You know, how does he feel about ghosts?

00:27:39.000 Right?

00:27:39.000 Do you believe in ghosts?

00:27:42.000 How often do you?

00:27:44.000 I don't not believe.

00:27:44.000 I don't not believe in ghosts.

00:27:46.000 I've never experienced a ghost.

00:27:48.000 Ghosts are real.

00:27:50.000 But I can't explain it.

00:27:52.000 They might be.

00:27:53.000 They might be real.

00:27:54.000 But I don't know if it's a ghost.

00:27:56.000 Here's the thing about ghosts.

00:27:58.000 There's so many stories of them.

00:28:00.000 Right.

00:28:00.000 There's so many.

00:28:01.000 Right.

00:28:02.000 Now, is it because people are just scared and their fucking senses are on heightened alert and they see things that aren't really there?

00:28:09.000 That could be it.

00:28:10.000 Because when it's dark out and you're tired and you're moving through the hallway, first of all, you might be half asleep anyway, but you hear things, you get scared, your senses get really heightened.

00:28:21.000 And maybe you might see something that's not even really there.

00:28:23.000 Right.

00:28:24.000 It's just your own brain and your paranoia fucking with you.

00:28:27.000 Because it's always happening at night under low light conditions.

00:28:31.000 It's always weird things that are fleeting and then they're gone.

00:28:33.000 But it's not always in the night.

00:28:34.000 It's not always in the night.

00:28:35.000 It's always in the dark though, right?

00:28:37.000 No.

00:28:37.000 You're never like at the beach.

00:28:38.000 Is there ghosts at the beach?

00:28:39.000 There might be ghosts at the beach.

00:28:41.000 That's why I think they're bullshit.

00:28:41.000 It depends on what beach you're at.

00:28:42.000 There's no ghosts at the beach.

00:28:43.000 No, but your house is just as haunted in the day as it is at night.

00:28:49.000 But why not the beach?

00:28:50.000 Listen, the beach at night is scary.

00:28:53.000 The beach during the day, not scary at all.

00:28:55.000 If you're a girl and you're walking on the beach at night, that's a fucking dangerous place to be, right?

00:29:00.000 There's a lot of psychos out there and serial killers and creeps and rapists.

00:29:05.000 You're just walking on that beach by yourself.

00:29:07.000 That's scary at night.

00:29:08.000 Right.

00:29:09.000 But in the day, it's awesome.

00:29:10.000 In the day, you're just walking on the beach.

00:29:12.000 I'm not a beach guy anyways.

00:29:14.000 I'm a mountain guy.

00:29:16.000 Ooh.

00:29:17.000 There might be some more creepy guys in the mountain.

00:29:19.000 That's another one.

00:29:20.000 But they're more sparse.

00:29:22.000 Everything's scary in the woods.

00:29:24.000 But I'm saying, your house is just as, this place, this building is just as haunted in the daytime as it is at nighttime.

00:29:33.000 I don't think this one's haunted.

00:29:36.000 I've been here at night.

00:29:36.000 See?

00:29:37.000 See?

00:29:38.000 See?

00:29:39.000 Here's an argument for something being haunted.

00:29:41.000 The comedy store in Hollywood.

00:29:42.000 Because it used to be Ciro's nightclub.

00:29:45.000 It used to be owned by Bugsy Siegel.

00:29:47.000 And apparently, the word is, they killed a bunch of fucking people there.

00:29:50.000 Right.

00:29:51.000 And almost everyone that I know that works there, everyone who's managed it, works there a long time.

00:29:56.000 They have some weird shit happen to them.

00:29:58.000 Weird shit.

00:29:59.000 Like, they see someone in the kitchen, and they go to say something to them, they turn around, and then they turn back again, the person's gone.

00:30:06.000 Like, weird shit.

00:30:08.000 Like, old friends you haven't seen in forever wandering through the hallway, and they go up the stairs and you can't find them.

00:30:13.000 There's like a bunch of stories like that.

00:30:15.000 Now, granted, there's a lot of people who've done a lot of drugs at the Comedy Store.

00:30:19.000 That has to be factored in.

00:30:21.000 Right.

00:30:22.000 But there's so many stories worldwide of ghosts.

00:30:26.000 I don't think it's impossible to...

00:30:29.000 I think it's possible that things leave a memory.

00:30:33.000 Right.

00:30:34.000 Like, maybe if you hate someone so much, you leave a memory on the space.

00:30:39.000 That's a stone tape theory.

00:30:41.000 Yeah.

00:30:41.000 The what?

00:30:42.000 Stone tape?

00:30:43.000 Yeah.

00:30:44.000 Stone tape?

00:30:45.000 Yeah.

00:30:45.000 What is it?

00:30:46.000 That the energy of a life is like...

00:30:50.000 Left on material shit like the bricks on the wall.

00:30:57.000 Yeah.

00:30:58.000 Or the curtain here.

00:30:59.000 Right.

00:30:59.000 You know.

00:31:00.000 And that's like...

00:31:01.000 I don't know if that's a stone tape theory.

00:31:03.000 Don't quote me on that.

00:31:04.000 Don't quote me on that.

00:31:05.000 Can you look up the stone tape theory for me?

00:31:09.000 Stone tape.

00:31:11.000 But it's...

00:31:12.000 Well, because I'm friends with Zach Bagans from Ghost Adventures, right?

00:31:17.000 Oh.

00:31:17.000 And it's like...

00:31:18.000 Did he ever take you to a haunted house?

00:31:19.000 No.

00:31:19.000 We did a whole episode.

00:31:22.000 You should check it out.

00:31:23.000 Did you get scared?

00:31:24.000 It's terrifying.

00:31:28.000 It's terrifying, man.

00:31:30.000 And in his museum, so apparently there's a thing called the Dybbuk Box, which is one of the most haunted items in the world, apparently.

00:31:44.000 And he wanted to...

00:31:45.000 So we took the glass case off of the Dybbuk box, which is in his museum in Vegas.

00:31:53.000 And he thought it was a sick-ass idea to put the ashes of a lady who died while she was possessed on top.

00:32:01.000 Whoa.

00:32:02.000 And then I was...

00:32:06.000 My plane almost crashed.

00:32:08.000 I was in a car accident.

00:32:10.000 My house got robbed and I had bite marks on my arm.

00:32:16.000 And he hit the wall like I've never seen someone in fear so hard as whenever he touched it.

00:32:28.000 I don't know if it's someone who's dead or if it's a demon or if it's fucking something dimensional.

00:32:37.000 But it's something there that goes bump in the night, I suppose.

00:32:43.000 Stone Tape Theory, what is that?

00:32:45.000 Here it is.

00:32:46.000 Haunted Rocks, the Stone Tape Theory.

00:32:48.000 The Stone Tape Theory is frequently used as a science-y sounding quasi-explanation to explain hauntings.

00:32:55.000 Amateur paranormal investigators use the idea to account for the appearances of images, sound, and apparitions that do not interact directly with people.

00:33:05.000 Instead, they play out like a movie or recording.

00:33:07.000 This is the most commonly termed residual haunting.

00:33:10.000 See, this is what I was saying.

00:33:11.000 Two for two, by the way.

00:33:13.000 Ladies and gentlemen.

00:33:14.000 Congratulations.

00:33:15.000 Nailed it.

00:33:16.000 When you think about an alien sighting, if you saw an alien and you never saw one again for the rest of your life, it would fuck with your memory, even if the alien was real.

00:33:24.000 If a saucer emerged in front of you and then took off, that's the same thing with a ghost.

00:33:29.000 Like if you saw a fucking ghost, if you walked into your basement to go get a screw for something, and you saw an apparition of a woman who's like staring you down.

00:33:39.000 Did you ever see that Guillermo del Toro movie about the lady who's a ghost who adopts kids?

00:33:45.000 No.

00:33:46.000 Dude, it's a dark movie.

00:33:48.000 What is it called?

00:33:49.000 Mother?

00:33:50.000 What is it called?

00:33:51.000 It's fucking creepy.

00:33:54.000 Is it?

00:33:55.000 Do you like horror movies?

00:33:57.000 I love them.

00:33:57.000 Me too.

00:33:58.000 I love them.

00:33:58.000 I'm a dirty little bitch.

00:33:59.000 I love horror movies.

00:34:01.000 I think it's called Mama.

00:34:02.000 Mama.

00:34:02.000 Yes, that's it.

00:34:03.000 Oh, is it?

00:34:04.000 Bro, it's so creepy.

00:34:05.000 That's not with two Swedish kids, right?

00:34:08.000 Um, I don't remember.

00:34:09.000 Does she have two sons?

00:34:11.000 Did you see this?

00:34:12.000 No.

00:34:12.000 She has two kids.

00:34:13.000 No, I haven't seen that.

00:34:15.000 Well, I don't want to give it away.

00:34:17.000 I don't want to give the story away.

00:34:18.000 But it's crazy.

00:34:20.000 She finds these kids in the woods and raises them.

00:34:23.000 She's a ghost.

00:34:23.000 And it's a fucking terrifying movie.

00:34:26.000 She's a ghost.

00:34:27.000 Wait, is that a spoiler?

00:34:29.000 And so people adopt the kids.

00:34:29.000 They find the kids.

00:34:30.000 I can't tell you anymore.

00:34:31.000 Spoiler alert!

00:34:32.000 I can't tell you anymore.

00:34:33.000 No, you know she's a ghost from the very beginning of the movie.

00:34:35.000 Okay, okay, good.

00:34:36.000 Yeah, this is terrifying.

00:34:38.000 Dude, it's fucking horrifying.

00:34:41.000 It's a terrifying movie.

00:34:42.000 Well, you get the best of both worlds, right?

00:34:44.000 You get a creepy mom style, and then you get creepy kids, which are like the double terrifying.

00:34:51.000 What's the movie I'm thinking of?

00:34:53.000 I can't say anymore without spoiler alert in it.

00:34:56.000 I think it may be called...

00:34:58.000 It might be called...

00:35:00.000 So it's two kids.

00:35:02.000 It might be Swedish or Norwegian or something.

00:35:08.000 Is it the vampire movie?

00:35:10.000 No.

00:35:10.000 There's a vampire movie, a foreign vampire movie.

00:35:13.000 Is it Let the Right One In, I think it is?

00:35:16.000 Or is that the American version of it?

00:35:18.000 Let the Right One In is a scary movie.

00:35:20.000 That's a scary movie, right?

00:35:21.000 That's a vampire movie about vampire kids, right?

00:35:23.000 Yeah.

00:35:24.000 Yeah.

00:35:25.000 See, the thing about a ghost...

00:35:27.000 Is if you saw one, and if they're just real every now and then, you saw one, and it was right in front of you, you're in the woods, you're going to walk your dog, and you see some old man with no legs floating in front of you?

00:35:39.000 That's the one.

00:35:40.000 Goodnight, Mommy.

00:35:40.000 Yeah.

00:35:41.000 Ah, Goodnight, Mommy.

00:35:42.000 What's this one about?

00:35:44.000 I don't know.

00:35:45.000 Same kind of deal?

00:35:46.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:35:47.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:35:50.000 Did you see something good?

00:35:51.000 Yeah.

00:35:52.000 I missed it.

00:35:52.000 Some scary lady in the corner.

00:35:54.000 Check that motherfucker out.

00:35:55.000 That's a good one.

00:35:56.000 I'm scared.

00:35:57.000 But you see him in the woods.

00:35:58.000 Yeah.

00:35:59.000 Please?

00:36:00.000 Oh, yeah, if you saw some apparition in the woods and then you never saw it again for the rest of your life, it doesn't mean it wasn't real.

00:36:07.000 Right.

00:36:08.000 It just means it's really rare that that happens.

00:36:10.000 Like, that's the thing about a unique event.

00:36:13.000 Like, imagine if you're an ant your whole fucking life, all you've ever known is this ant hill.

00:36:17.000 Everybody's chilling, working every day, chopping up leaves, going out and getting popcorn or whatever shit it finds.

00:36:23.000 And then one day, some person comes along, like Post Malone, just stomps the fuck out of that anthill.

00:36:29.000 Sure.

00:36:29.000 Till that moment, all that thing has ever known was that anthill.

00:36:33.000 Never even knew that it was possible for something that could, because it's been alive for a couple weeks.

00:36:38.000 And during that couple weeks, no one's ever stomped on the anthill.

00:36:40.000 But then it happens.

00:36:42.000 And then you realize that there's no pattern to these things.

00:36:46.000 Anything can happen.

00:36:48.000 If you're a person, aliens can land.

00:36:51.000 They can land on the White House lawn tomorrow and take over the world.

00:36:54.000 And there's nothing we can do about it.

00:36:56.000 That could be our new normal.

00:36:58.000 Okay, fuck masks.

00:36:59.000 The new normal is there's alien spaceships that hover over every city and they tell you what to do.

00:37:05.000 And you have to work for them now.

00:37:06.000 Forever.

00:37:07.000 To the argument...

00:37:10.000 We're smarter than ants.

00:37:12.000 Yes, we are.

00:37:12.000 But we're, in comparison, probably dumber than aliens are.

00:37:17.000 Like, we're dumber in comparison to aliens than ants are to people.

00:37:21.000 Well, that's right.

00:37:22.000 Like, all these celestial sightings.

00:37:25.000 Yeah, I mean, this is all spitballing here.

00:37:29.000 But it could be possible, right?

00:37:30.000 Celestial sightings documented throughout history.

00:37:36.000 Throughout history.

00:37:37.000 You...

00:37:39.000 Hey, I just made a fire.

00:37:41.000 This is dope.

00:37:42.000 Right?

00:37:43.000 Fire is cool.

00:37:44.000 But what the fuck is that?

00:37:45.000 That has to be God.

00:37:48.000 Like, man has always looked up for answers.

00:37:53.000 It's true.

00:37:54.000 And so that's why it's a scary thing.

00:37:57.000 Because do they want to hurt us?

00:37:59.000 Or do they...

00:38:00.000 Are they...

00:38:01.000 Did we come from them?

00:38:03.000 I don't think it's impossible.

00:38:05.000 I don't think it's impossible that we're a product of genetic manipulation.

00:38:08.000 I don't know if we are.

00:38:10.000 I know we're definitely primates.

00:38:12.000 We're just playthings, maybe.

00:38:13.000 We just look so different than every other monkey.

00:38:16.000 All the other monkeys are covered in hair.

00:38:18.000 This is this weird, semi-hairless monkey.

00:38:21.000 You know, who knows how to use electronics?

00:38:23.000 Who knows how to send video through the sky?

00:38:25.000 You know the Anunnaki?

00:38:26.000 Yes.

00:38:28.000 Yes!

00:38:32.000 Yeah, if Lou was here, I got a great friend, Lou.

00:38:34.000 Shout out to Lou.

00:38:35.000 He would talk your ear off about this whole deal.

00:38:38.000 About this to an actual archaeologist yesterday.

00:38:40.000 Or the Nephilim.

00:38:41.000 Bradley Garrett.

00:38:42.000 Yeah, the Nephilim or the Anunnaki from Planet Nibiru.

00:38:46.000 All that Zacharias Hitchin stuff.

00:38:48.000 You ever read those books?

00:38:48.000 No, sir.

00:38:49.000 The books are weird, man.

00:38:50.000 You know what's weird?

00:38:51.000 Like there's stuff that he was saying in like, I believe it was like the 1970s where he was deciphering these texts.

00:39:00.000 And one of the things that he said is, this is the craziest one of all.

00:39:05.000 Humans were genetically engineered from lower primates and they were used to harvest gold.

00:39:13.000 And that the Anunnaki needed gold because gold is very plentiful here and very hard to find, very rare on their planet.

00:39:22.000 And they engineered humans to mine.

00:39:25.000 That's why people love gold so much.

00:39:27.000 If you think about the usefulness of gold.

00:39:29.000 Gold isn't even remotely...

00:39:31.000 Unless you're making electronics, like, gold's not the best metal.

00:39:35.000 Like, why is it so valuable?

00:39:36.000 Because it's pretty?

00:39:37.000 Well, it's not even the prettiest shit.

00:39:39.000 Like, rubies are prettier than gold.

00:39:41.000 Emeralds are prettier than gold.

00:39:42.000 Why is gold so goddamn expensive?

00:39:44.000 But where does diamonds fit in?

00:39:46.000 That's a good question.

00:39:47.000 Probably just someone tricked a chick into thinking it was a good move.

00:39:50.000 I was reading about, like...

00:39:52.000 Yeah, it's like one movie, she had a diamond and then it popped off.

00:39:58.000 Let me finish what I'm saying because this is where it gets weird.

00:40:00.000 They said that they needed it to hang in their atmosphere to protect them from the sun because they were losing their atmosphere.

00:40:08.000 Well, we're losing our atmosphere.

00:40:10.000 And one of the things that scientists have suggested is hanging reflective particles.

00:40:17.000 Above above the earth like putting them in orbit all like a reflective dust in orbit so that it would mute out some of the effects of the Sun so what they suggested what he was saying in 1978 is what they suggested in like 2018 Right.

00:40:34.000 So when they're talking about how to fix some of the global warming issues, they were literally saying some of the stuff that was in this book that he was reading, you know, he's deciphering these ancient Sumerian texts from 6,000 years ago.

00:40:48.000 No shit.

00:40:49.000 Yeah.

00:40:50.000 I don't know if his interpretations are right, though.

00:40:52.000 Where did he get it from?

00:40:54.000 He is just a guy who's a linguist, who studies these ancient languages and reinterprets them, but it's very highly in dispute.

00:41:03.000 That's the problem.

00:41:04.000 Like, you or I, we're not gonna figure it out.

00:41:06.000 We're not gonna know who's right.

00:41:07.000 It's too complicated.

00:41:09.000 But there's a website called SitchinIsWrong.com, and if you go there, it refutes all of his...

00:41:14.000 I don't know who's right or who's wrong, but it's interesting to see the argument.

00:41:17.000 But again, whatever the fuck was going on back then...

00:41:21.000 6,000 years ago, whatever was going on.

00:41:23.000 They were writing about some wacky shit.

00:41:25.000 Right, right, right.

00:41:26.000 And is that the shrooms or is that...

00:41:29.000 Is it contact?

00:41:31.000 Yeah.

00:41:32.000 It's not impossible.

00:41:36.000 We could have easily been contacted by some other life form that's similar to us, but that's a million years advanced.

00:41:43.000 We could have been contacted all throughout history.

00:41:45.000 Right.

00:41:46.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 Up until 1860, whatever the fuck it was, all you would have is a drawing and a story.

00:41:52.000 Imagine that.

00:41:55.000 Famous people.

00:41:56.000 Who the fuck knows?

00:41:58.000 But now, if you look at the last 200 years, it has accelerated like a motherfucker.

00:42:07.000 And there's so much, like, 200 years ago, people would look at The Bronco or anything like that and be like, what the fuck?

00:42:18.000 Yeah, what is that?

00:42:20.000 It happened so quick.

00:42:21.000 It's happening so quick right now.

00:42:24.000 I mean, that SpaceX thing, they've already figured out how to get something to fly into the sky and then bring it back and land it.

00:42:32.000 It's insane.

00:42:32.000 Yeah.

00:42:34.000 We are in a weird fucking time.

00:42:36.000 And if the aliens come right now, it's probably the best time to come.

00:42:40.000 We're going to be the most relaxed about it.

00:42:42.000 No one's been able to work for six months.

00:42:44.000 Yeah, I feel like everybody's...

00:42:46.000 People are scared to shake hands.

00:42:48.000 What are you going to do?

00:42:49.000 Everyone's terrified.

00:42:50.000 Are you going to say hi?

00:42:51.000 To the aliens?

00:42:52.000 Are you going to grab your bow?

00:42:54.000 Oh, I'm going to say hi for sure.

00:42:56.000 I'm not stupid.

00:42:58.000 They can come here if I'm not kicking anybody's ass.

00:43:00.000 Instant disintegration.

00:43:01.000 Yeah, I'm not even interested in kicking someone's ass from another dimension.

00:43:04.000 I just want to say hi.

00:43:06.000 Tell me what's up.

00:43:07.000 Tell me what's actually good.

00:43:09.000 I want to have an alien on the podcast.

00:43:11.000 Can you imagine?

00:43:11.000 I could call Tyler up.

00:43:13.000 Three foot tall, 40 pound dude with a giant bulbous head and like antenna-like fingers and he's explaining how they traverse space and time instantaneously.

00:43:25.000 Can you imagine?

00:43:27.000 They're making sounds and you interpret those sounds no matter what language you're in all over the world.

00:43:32.000 You instantaneously interpret what they're saying.

00:43:34.000 Well, it'd be through your brain.

00:43:35.000 You wouldn't be able to hear them.

00:43:36.000 They would do it through a podcast.

00:43:38.000 They'd be able to engineer the sounds they make.

00:43:41.000 What is this sound and why do I understand what he's saying?

00:43:46.000 They would hit you with some sound that's so complex you would understand exactly what they're saying even though you don't know the language.

00:43:52.000 And everybody would be like, what in the fuck is going on?

00:43:55.000 Oh my god, there's an alien on the JRE. And that's what it would be.

00:43:58.000 Me talking to some alien.

00:44:01.000 They better give you some more goddamn money.

00:44:04.000 Mm-mm.

00:44:06.000 I think that's the least of our problems when the aliens come.

00:44:08.000 That shit is gonna be wiped off.

00:44:10.000 Well, that's when we need gold.

00:44:11.000 Yeah, we're gonna be gold miners again, folks.

00:44:13.000 We're gonna look for some sturdy person with a wide back.

00:44:16.000 That's what's gonna be valuable.

00:44:18.000 Thank you.

00:44:19.000 But I mean, good enough to mine gold?

00:44:20.000 I don't know.

00:44:23.000 Imagine if that's life in the future.

00:44:25.000 They come down and go, you got two choices.

00:44:27.000 One, we eat you.

00:44:28.000 Two, you mine gold for us.

00:44:30.000 Are they eating humans?

00:44:31.000 Why not?

00:44:32.000 Why wouldn't they eat us?

00:44:33.000 They'd be like, listen, you guys are just protein.

00:44:34.000 You're assholes.

00:44:35.000 They probably eat clouds.

00:44:37.000 Yeah.

00:44:37.000 Or like energy.

00:44:38.000 They probably just eat energy.

00:44:40.000 Yeah, maybe they just exist in some sort of like a redundant system.

00:44:43.000 Dude, they're probably not even fucking material.

00:44:46.000 Probably.

00:44:46.000 They're probably just fucking ethereal.

00:44:49.000 Well, maybe they figured out a way to make life.

00:44:53.000 So maybe they figured out a way how to make life where you can transfer your consciousness in some eternal mechanical thing.

00:45:02.000 This is what...

00:45:03.000 There's this...

00:45:05.000 Oh my god, I can't remember his name.

00:45:06.000 Ray Kurzweil.

00:45:08.000 Sorry.

00:45:08.000 He's a guy that's obsessed.

00:45:10.000 He's a scientist.

00:45:11.000 He's an inventor.

00:45:12.000 He's got like a hundred patents.

00:45:13.000 Genius guy.

00:45:15.000 Maybe not a hundred, but a lot.

00:45:17.000 And he is obsessed with downloading his consciousness into a computer.

00:45:22.000 He's obsessed with the idea of technology reaching a point where you could replicate...

00:45:28.000 A human being in a way where you will never die your consciousness will actually transmit to some sort of a Computer or an artificial body or another body that's they've genetically engineered and he believes this is like he's saying you have to look at the Exponential rate of technology right now.

00:45:46.000 That doesn't make any sense, right?

00:45:48.000 But if you go ten years from now Ten years is gonna, the ten years time is gonna be like a hundred years of progress.

00:45:54.000 Well, you said exponentially, snowballing.

00:45:56.000 Ten years after that, a thousand years of progress.

00:45:59.000 Like twenty years from now, I don't know if those are the right numbers, but twenty years from now, or somewhere in that range, we could be looking at artificial life.

00:46:05.000 We could be, thirty years from now, we could be looking at fake people.

00:46:08.000 They're already cloning goats.

00:46:10.000 Yeah, they've cloned sheep.

00:46:12.000 Yeah, Dolly the sheep.

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:15.000 I bet they're cloning people.

00:46:17.000 100%.

00:46:17.000 Must be.

00:46:18.000 100%.

00:46:19.000 You don't think Russia is cloning people right now?

00:46:21.000 You don't think China's cloning people right now?

00:46:23.000 Why wouldn't they?

00:46:24.000 I think we're cloning people.

00:46:26.000 Well, if you think of the people that treat human beings with the least amount of respect, if you think of the way they treat their citizens, those people are likely to clone people.

00:46:38.000 They're not going to give a fuck.

00:46:40.000 We don't give a fuck.

00:46:42.000 They're going to be quick to the jump.

00:46:43.000 We don't give a fuck.

00:46:45.000 I don't think anybody...

00:46:47.000 It's a matter of...

00:46:52.000 It does honestly feel like, oh, everybody's just a gold miner.

00:47:00.000 In a way, because we're mining technology.

00:47:02.000 Everybody, I mean, even you sitting on your phone, you're contributing.

00:47:08.000 100%, yeah.

00:47:09.000 And then they're learning.

00:47:11.000 And you want a new phone.

00:47:12.000 You want a new phone next year so you work hard so you can buy that new phone.

00:47:15.000 Right.

00:47:16.000 And you want a Tesla because it's got that big old electronic screen.

00:47:18.000 It's a cog in the whole machine.

00:47:21.000 Can I have one of your beard hairs?

00:47:25.000 I'm working on something at home.

00:47:27.000 I could give you some.

00:47:28.000 I'll tweeze them later.

00:47:29.000 I can't pluck them.

00:47:30.000 They're not big enough to pluck.

00:47:31.000 I'm working on my cloning device.

00:47:34.000 It doesn't work necessarily.

00:47:35.000 It might work?

00:47:36.000 Dude, if it works, let me know.

00:47:37.000 If there's a little me running around, I tell them a lot of shit I got wrong.

00:47:42.000 Kicking everybody.

00:47:43.000 I'd be like, dude, you gotta calm down.

00:47:46.000 Calm down, son.

00:47:48.000 But like, I think genetic engineering, they've already definitely done that.

00:47:52.000 They've figured out how to, I think it was China that did some sort of CRISPR experiment on people's DNA that figured out how to make them immune from AIDS, but also simultaneously made them smarter.

00:48:03.000 So it made him immune to HIV. I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

00:48:06.000 What's a CRISPR? Oh, CRISPR is some gene editing tool.

00:48:09.000 I don't know what the...

00:48:11.000 It's an acronym, right?

00:48:12.000 I don't know what it stands for.

00:48:14.000 But it's a new gene editing tool that they've discovered over the last few years.

00:48:20.000 They understand genes better, I believe because of bacteria.

00:48:23.000 I'm sure I'm fucking this up.

00:48:25.000 But they figured out how to make a tool that allows you to edit genes.

00:48:29.000 Here it is.

00:48:30.000 Clustered, regularly interspaced, short, palindromic repeats.

00:48:37.000 That's CRISPR. That's what it stands for.

00:48:39.000 It's a family of DNA sequences found in the genomes of prokaryote organisms, bacteria, and archaea.

00:48:54.000 These sequences are derived from DNA fragments of bacteriophages that had previously infected the prokaryote.

00:49:13.000 Oh boy.

00:49:15.000 Ah, so I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:49:20.000 Let me try.

00:49:21.000 So this gene editing tool, whatever the fuck that means.

00:49:24.000 What the fuck?

00:49:25.000 What is this tool?

00:49:27.000 They can edit genes, and they're in the process.

00:49:30.000 With a computer?

00:49:31.000 It'll show you right out how they do it there.

00:49:33.000 It's like...

00:49:35.000 I don't understand the process, but I know that they have a process.

00:49:38.000 I don't know what it's saying.

00:49:40.000 Is this in a computer?

00:49:41.000 Read that.

00:49:42.000 What is that saying?

00:49:43.000 The Cas9 protein forms a complex with the guide RNA in a cell.

00:49:49.000 The complex attaches to a matching genomic DNA sequence adjacent to a spacer yellow segment.

00:49:58.000 What am I saying?

00:49:59.000 No, that's the yellow segment.

00:50:01.000 You see it.

00:50:01.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:50:02.000 I do.

00:50:02.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:50:03.000 I'm reading this and I don't know what the fuck I'm saying while I'm saying it.

00:50:07.000 It's too complicated for a moron like me.

00:50:09.000 It's too complicated.

00:50:11.000 I want to know what the tool is.

00:50:13.000 Is it like a wrench or is it like a fucking computer?

00:50:16.000 I don't know what the fuck it is.

00:50:18.000 It's probably a computer.

00:50:19.000 Oh, it's a fork.

00:50:22.000 Dude, that's the dude right there.

00:50:24.000 That's just the guy.

00:50:25.000 It's just a robot hand that comes in and fucks it.

00:50:28.000 It's a dude with tweezers and a fucking hot dog.

00:50:30.000 It leaves a lot of room for error.

00:50:32.000 I wonder what other countries are doing, what kind of crazy shit they're trying.

00:50:37.000 If they're trying to create new humans, super humans.

00:50:40.000 They're going to do it.

00:50:41.000 Someone's going to do it.

00:50:43.000 It's going to be us or it's going to be them.

00:50:45.000 Someone is going to create superhumans.

00:50:47.000 I'm not saying it's a good idea.

00:50:48.000 I'm just looking at the laws of improvement.

00:50:51.000 I don't think that's a real thing.

00:50:53.000 But if it was, the law of improvement would state that if something's possible...

00:50:57.000 It's a new theory.

00:50:57.000 If something's possible, someone's going to make it happen.

00:50:59.000 When we detonated two nuclear bombs, we could have just...

00:51:02.000 One was...

00:51:03.000 Everybody got the point, right?

00:51:05.000 Yeah.

00:51:05.000 Why'd they do it twice?

00:51:07.000 It's a display, I suppose.

00:51:09.000 Right.

00:51:09.000 Well, someone could do that with super people.

00:51:11.000 Yeah.

00:51:11.000 Like, that could happen, and it could happen quick.

00:51:14.000 He should be a UFC fighter.

00:51:15.000 Well, they might be the new aliens.

00:51:18.000 When you get to...

00:51:20.000 UFC fighters or super humans?

00:51:21.000 Super people.

00:51:22.000 Super people might be a new species.

00:51:24.000 If someone could really get a hold of a CRISPR and create like a Thor, create like a legitimate superhuman person, and you could just develop a whole race of those, it would just be like instant game over.

00:51:36.000 People aren't people anymore.

00:51:37.000 How long does that take?

00:51:39.000 I don't know how long it would take.

00:51:40.000 Do they have to grow from baby to human?

00:51:43.000 I'm high, man.

00:51:43.000 I don't think so.

00:51:45.000 That's the thing.

00:51:46.000 Or they just come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings.

00:51:50.000 What if they fuck up?

00:51:52.000 They come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings where they just cut the pus and then the fucking...

00:51:58.000 They come piling out of them.

00:52:00.000 And he's just like, I'm gonna kill fucking...

00:52:03.000 Is that how the orcs were born?

00:52:05.000 Yeah, you never seen Saruman in the pit of Helm's Deep?

00:52:11.000 Those are great fucking movies, man.

00:52:13.000 Incredible.

00:52:14.000 Those orcs were the scariest shit ever.

00:52:16.000 Also, if you watch three, it's 12 hours.

00:52:19.000 You could take a half a day watching Lord of the Rings.

00:52:22.000 It's the best.

00:52:24.000 Yeah, those Lord of the Rings movies, man, come on.

00:52:27.000 Those orcs and those goblins, they were the scariest fucking thing ever.

00:52:31.000 The goblins were scary.

00:52:32.000 Ugh.

00:52:33.000 You ever heard of Necrogoblicon?

00:52:35.000 No.

00:52:36.000 It's like a metal band, but the lead singer is a goblin.

00:52:42.000 It's incredible.

00:52:44.000 Can you pull up a picture of the lead singer of Necrogoblicon?

00:52:52.000 Dude, that's them!

00:52:55.000 Dude, it's fucking incredible.

00:52:57.000 That's amazing.

00:52:58.000 He reminds me of the goblin that tortures Frodo.

00:53:03.000 Look at his face.

00:53:04.000 Holy shit.

00:53:06.000 Oh my god, that's amazing.

00:53:08.000 Hang on a second.

00:53:09.000 Imagine.

00:53:10.000 I like his friends.

00:53:11.000 Hold on a second.

00:53:12.000 Back up a little bit.

00:53:13.000 Imagine.

00:53:15.000 If that's really a goblin.

00:53:17.000 Can you imagine if a goblin became a rock star and everybody thought it was cute, but it really was a fucking goblin.

00:53:22.000 You need to watch the video.

00:53:24.000 Bro, the makeup's amazing!

00:53:25.000 He never takes it off!

00:53:27.000 It's a real fucking goblin.

00:53:29.000 A fucking real goblin.

00:53:30.000 Well, that's the whole deal.

00:53:32.000 Like, his biggest song is, like, he has a normal job and he has a crush on this girl.

00:53:37.000 Oh my god.

00:53:37.000 But she's in love with this, like, douchebag.

00:53:41.000 From The Office.

00:53:42.000 Oh my god, is it blowing powder on people?

00:53:45.000 What is happening here?

00:53:46.000 I've never seen this video.

00:53:48.000 Dude, just imagine if that was real.

00:53:51.000 Imagine if an alien comes down.

00:53:53.000 Are aliens goblins?

00:53:55.000 They could be.

00:53:56.000 Why do we think they're gonna look cute?

00:53:58.000 Why couldn't they be ugly looking aliens, octopus looking monsters?

00:54:02.000 They could be anything, right?

00:54:05.000 Yeah, that's what- Halo.

00:54:07.000 You ever play Halo?

00:54:08.000 I have.

00:54:09.000 You think about, you know Arbiter?

00:54:11.000 What is Arbiter?

00:54:13.000 One of the characters?

00:54:14.000 Nah, he's like the alien guys.

00:54:17.000 So they have fingers like this and that's why all their guns are like this, right?

00:54:23.000 Okay.

00:54:24.000 But who's to say that aliens don't control their guns with their booty hole or something weird?

00:54:31.000 Why does it have to be with their hands?

00:54:33.000 Aliens can control their guns with whatever appendage they have.

00:54:38.000 Good point.

00:54:40.000 Aliens are weird.

00:54:41.000 Well, I think the real thing would come from...

00:54:44.000 They're weird to me.

00:54:46.000 How are they manipulating matter to make things, right?

00:54:49.000 Or do they even need to?

00:54:51.000 Do they need to, right?

00:54:52.000 Can they do things with their mind that we can't imagine?

00:54:56.000 Right?

00:54:56.000 Yeah.

00:54:57.000 If it's possible to make noise and you can hear noise, what is that?

00:55:01.000 It's just some invisible shit flying through the air.

00:55:04.000 I'm saying it to you, you understand what I'm saying?

00:55:06.000 Just flies through the air and hits you.

00:55:07.000 Why do we think that that's the only thing that's possible?

00:55:10.000 There could be some really weird abilities that things have to manipulate matter that maybe evolve over hundreds of thousands of years.

00:55:17.000 A booty hole gun.

00:55:18.000 A booty hole gun.

00:55:19.000 Yeah.

00:55:20.000 Who knows?

00:55:22.000 Who knows?

00:55:23.000 I'm gonna hit you with my fucking booty hole gun and destroy a fucking block.

00:55:28.000 Maybe it's like super normal for aliens to like pee on each other the way dogs do.

00:55:34.000 You know, maybe aliens just walk up and just piss on each other all the time.

00:55:38.000 Who knows?

00:55:39.000 Who fucking knows?

00:55:40.000 Who knows?

00:55:41.000 But you know, all we can do is just sit and drink beer until...

00:55:44.000 until...

00:55:48.000 That's it.

00:55:49.000 I'm amazed that they, if they really did have UFOs this whole time, that they kept it such a good secret.

00:55:55.000 Pretty incredible.

00:55:56.000 Like, I don't want to encourage that kind of behavior, but I gotta say I'm impressed.

00:56:00.000 Right?

00:56:01.000 If the government really kept their fucking mouth shut for that long, like, the new government is not gonna do that.

00:56:07.000 These are like those old school Vietnam vets with fucking craggy skin and tough guy voices.

00:56:12.000 Those are the ones that are still left.

00:56:15.000 Millennials that take those positions, we're going to have a real hard time keeping secrets.

00:56:19.000 It's not going to be the same.

00:56:21.000 It's not.

00:56:23.000 I mean...

00:56:24.000 They're not going to keep any secrets.

00:56:26.000 How do you feel about the Battle of Los Angeles?

00:56:30.000 The Battle of Los Angeles?

00:56:31.000 What do you mean?

00:56:33.000 Wherever...

00:56:34.000 There was pictures in the paper...

00:56:37.000 And shit.

00:56:37.000 And it's just spotlights.

00:56:38.000 And we were shooting at this thing.

00:56:40.000 Oh, right.

00:56:41.000 Was that like...

00:56:42.000 Over LA. What year was that?

00:56:43.000 Old.

00:56:44.000 Yeah, real old.

00:56:45.000 Like the 50s or something?

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.000 Who the fuck knows what that was, man?

00:56:50.000 What the fuck is that?

00:56:51.000 And then we shot at it and it wouldn't go down.

00:56:55.000 And...

00:56:56.000 Because they...

00:56:57.000 See that...

00:56:58.000 Who knows?

00:56:59.000 You got...

00:57:00.000 It's either two things.

00:57:01.000 It's either they know...

00:57:04.000 And they're hiding it, or it's something earthly, terrestrial.

00:57:08.000 Yeah.

00:57:10.000 And people just interpret it as...

00:57:14.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:57:15.000 There it is.

00:57:16.000 Searchlights and anti-antcraft guns.

00:57:18.000 They were shooting at this fucker.

00:57:20.000 Combed sky during alarm.

00:57:21.000 What year is that, Jamie?

00:57:22.000 1942. 1942. So what year did Oppenheimer first detonate the bomb?

00:57:27.000 I know the Manhattan Project was already in operation by 1942, but had they detonated the first bomb yet?

00:57:35.000 Tests or the actual?

00:57:36.000 The actual first test.

00:57:39.000 I bet it was around that time, a couple years later maybe.

00:57:42.000 I bet in that time period when human beings start in a race to try to split the atom, that's what I bet the alien is like, hey, hey, hey, we got a live one.

00:57:53.000 We got a live one over here.

00:57:55.000 Yeah, these motherfuckers figured it out.

00:57:56.000 Yeah, the 1940s, they were all doing that shit, right?

00:57:59.000 Three years later.

00:58:00.000 Three years later, yeah.

00:58:00.000 So they were probably working on it back then.

00:58:02.000 And the aliens were probably well aware that there was a race going on.

00:58:06.000 And they probably visited.

00:58:07.000 That's what I would do.

00:58:08.000 If I had like a planet, like imagine if you're a researcher and you have a whole planet and on this planet They've lived for millions and millions of years, but the most advanced thing is like a monkey person.

00:58:23.000 You know, like an Australopithecus or something.

00:58:25.000 And they go, listen, we know where this is going.

00:58:28.000 It's going to take a long time.

00:58:29.000 They might not even make it.

00:58:30.000 They might get wiped out by a volcano.

00:58:31.000 Let's just fucking sprinkle a little bit of us and them.

00:58:34.000 Get that CRISPR working.

00:58:35.000 Manipulate the DNA of these things.

00:58:37.000 Yeah, with the wrench or the little tongs with the hot dog.

00:58:40.000 Yeah, the hot dog tongs.

00:58:41.000 Splice it in and make some new people.

00:58:43.000 What happened to the dinosaurs, Joe?

00:58:46.000 Asteroid.

00:58:47.000 Yeah, they hit the Yucatan.

00:58:49.000 They know when, they know where.

00:58:50.000 There's something called, I think it's called Iridium.

00:58:54.000 It's really rare on Earth and really common in space.

00:58:58.000 And there's a thick layer of it around 65 million years ago, and it's just a giant crater in the Yucatan.

00:59:04.000 That's what killed all the dinosaurs.

00:59:06.000 For certain.

00:59:07.000 Most likely.

00:59:08.000 There's some other theories about how long they lasted, which ones died off, which ones.

00:59:12.000 Like, alligators.

00:59:13.000 What about alligators?

00:59:14.000 Those motherfuckers are still here.

00:59:18.000 Alligators are here right now, right?

00:59:21.000 Bro, one ate a kid at Disneyland a couple years back.

00:59:24.000 No shit.

00:59:24.000 It was the year before I was there.

00:59:26.000 Eat him whole?

00:59:26.000 Disney World, not Disneyland.

00:59:28.000 Disney World's the Florida one.

00:59:30.000 Ate a kid, yeah.

00:59:31.000 Whole.

00:59:31.000 A two-year-old kid.

00:59:33.000 Snatched him up.

00:59:34.000 Jesus Christ.

00:59:34.000 Horrible, horrible.

00:59:35.000 Playing near the water in this fucking dinosaur.

00:59:38.000 And imagine you take your kid to Disney World.

00:59:40.000 Well, it's going to be safe for sure.

00:59:41.000 We're at Disney World.

00:59:42.000 Yeah.

00:59:42.000 They've done a great job making sure there's not monsters living in the pond.

00:59:45.000 Yeah.

00:59:46.000 Nope.

00:59:46.000 No, there's monsters in that pond.

00:59:49.000 Fucking alligator came out and ate their kid.

00:59:50.000 Look at this motherfucker!

00:59:52.000 That's the motherfucker?

00:59:54.000 That's the guy?

00:59:55.000 No, this is a different one.

00:59:55.000 This is a different one.

00:59:56.000 I was like, they have video of this?

00:59:58.000 Bro, these people are standing just a few feet away from a goddamn dinosaur with a brain the size of a quarter.

01:00:04.000 That thing doesn't give a fuck about you or your babies or your kids.

01:00:08.000 You're just lucky.

01:00:10.000 You're lucky that dinosaur doesn't just bum rush you.

01:00:12.000 The tail's the size of a human.

01:00:14.000 Yeah.

01:00:15.000 They're so big.

01:00:16.000 And that's not even a huge one.

01:00:17.000 There's a video one in Florida walking across a golf court.

01:00:20.000 It's 15 feet long.

01:00:21.000 And you see it, and these guys are in awe.

01:00:24.000 They're like, what the fuck?

01:00:26.000 They're out there playing golf, and a legitimate dinosaur walks by.

01:00:30.000 15 foot long alligator.

01:00:32.000 It's so big!

01:00:34.000 It's so big, dude.

01:00:35.000 Look at its leg.

01:00:36.000 Look at it.

01:00:36.000 Look at that thing.

01:00:37.000 Look at that thing.

01:00:38.000 Holy Christ.

01:00:39.000 Holy Christ.

01:00:40.000 Look how big that is.

01:00:42.000 On the golf course.

01:00:43.000 Bro, look how big that is.

01:00:45.000 Look at the size of that thing.

01:00:47.000 Holy shit, man.

01:00:49.000 Your ball struck my foot.

01:00:51.000 Holy fuck, that thing's so big.

01:00:53.000 What do they do?

01:00:54.000 I'll see you in the parking lot.

01:00:57.000 What's the Billy Madison quote?

01:01:00.000 Or Happy Gilmore.

01:01:01.000 That's what it is.

01:01:02.000 Oh, the alligator ate his hand?

01:01:05.000 Carl Weathers.

01:01:06.000 That's fucking crazy.

01:01:08.000 How crazy is that?

01:01:08.000 You're out there living in Florida, you live with monsters.

01:01:11.000 That's a dinosaur.

01:01:12.000 That's a real legit dinosaur.

01:01:14.000 You think about it too, it's so interesting to think about.

01:01:17.000 Like, even in Florida, but in Australia, the spiders, the house spiders, like I see a spider, he's like this big.

01:01:28.000 I'm like, okay, fine.

01:01:31.000 In Australia, the average spider is like this fucking big.

01:01:35.000 What are you going to do?

01:01:37.000 Terrifying creatures over there.

01:01:38.000 There's brown snakes and shit.

01:01:41.000 My Australian friend Adam Greentree is always trying to get me to go out there and go camping with him.

01:01:45.000 I'm like, get the fuck out of here.

01:01:46.000 He goes hunting in Australia.

01:01:48.000 Look at that thing!

01:01:49.000 Look at that thing!

01:01:51.000 No!

01:01:52.000 What the fuck?

01:01:53.000 No, no, no!

01:01:54.000 So much protein.

01:01:56.000 Yeah, if you're hungry.

01:01:57.000 Is that a Huntsman?

01:01:58.000 Yeah.

01:01:59.000 Jesus Christ, look at that thing.

01:02:01.000 That's so big.

01:02:02.000 Australia's just buck wild, man.

01:02:05.000 It's so bizarre to think, like, and you've seen the...

01:02:09.000 There's big-ass grasshoppers that are, like, this big!

01:02:15.000 Locust, man.

01:02:18.000 Terrifying.

01:02:18.000 You know, I didn't find out until a few years ago.

01:02:21.000 Yeah, look at that fucker.

01:02:23.000 What is that?

01:02:24.000 Dude, he's eating a full carrot like an infant, like a toddler.

01:02:29.000 He's eating a carrot like a fucking toddler.

01:02:32.000 That's insane.

01:02:33.000 It's like he's screaming through a traffic cone.

01:02:35.000 Also, if I saw a centipede, I would die.

01:02:38.000 Oh my god, look at the size of that.

01:02:40.000 Look at that butterfly thing.

01:02:43.000 Moth?

01:02:44.000 Moths are like the ugly butterflies.

01:02:46.000 True.

01:02:46.000 It's really the same thing.

01:02:48.000 Why is that?

01:02:49.000 One of them's pretty, and one of them we fucking swat every chance we get.

01:02:52.000 Because we value beauty.

01:02:54.000 Look at that.

01:02:55.000 Look at that creepy thing.

01:02:56.000 If I saw that, I would run away.

01:02:58.000 Bro, you ever seen a centipede eat a mouse?

01:03:01.000 No.

01:03:01.000 Do you want to?

01:03:02.000 Probably.

01:03:03.000 See, find a centipede eats a mouse.

01:03:06.000 I didn't know they did this, man.

01:03:08.000 That's insane.

01:03:09.000 I never would have thought that thing was a monster.

01:03:11.000 I thought it was just a bug.

01:03:12.000 Probably eats little bugs.

01:03:14.000 Uh-uh.

01:03:15.000 No, eats a mouse.

01:03:16.000 You just saw a grasshopper eat a carrot like a fucking four-year-old.

01:03:20.000 It's crazy.

01:03:21.000 That's a four-pound grasshopper.

01:03:24.000 Look at this.

01:03:25.000 Look at this centipede attacking this mouse.

01:03:27.000 No shit.

01:03:28.000 Bro, they're predatory.

01:03:29.000 Like alien.

01:03:30.000 Like a movie.

01:03:31.000 That's like the movie Alien.

01:03:33.000 Holy shit.

01:03:34.000 Look at it.

01:03:34.000 It's biting into the back of the spine of the mouse and killing it.

01:03:38.000 Dude, it's more than sad.

01:03:40.000 That's an alien.

01:03:41.000 This is sad.

01:03:42.000 Look at it.

01:03:42.000 It's burrowing itself into the body of the mouse.

01:03:46.000 Oh my god, take that off of the camera.

01:03:48.000 Bro, imagine.

01:03:49.000 Holy shit.

01:03:50.000 That's why you need to learn jujitsu.

01:03:53.000 Mice need to learn jujitsu.

01:03:55.000 You need to figure out how to...

01:03:56.000 Well, that's your next venture.

01:03:58.000 Move that thing off you.

01:03:59.000 A mice jujitsu class.

01:04:00.000 Don't let them get your back.

01:04:01.000 But that's not good.

01:04:03.000 My cat's killed two mice in my house.

01:04:05.000 Your cats are murderers.

01:04:07.000 Every cat's a murderer.

01:04:08.000 There's no doubt about that.

01:04:09.000 But if the mice knew jujitsu, maybe my cat would have died.

01:04:13.000 Cat is so big.

01:04:15.000 Cat is big.

01:04:16.000 They don't have a chance, but the centipede's not that much bigger than the mouse.

01:04:20.000 Or it's smaller than the mouse, really.

01:04:22.000 Cat is big, mice is small.

01:04:24.000 What we gotta worry about is bugs.

01:04:26.000 Because bugs are small.

01:04:28.000 But that's what nature did to them.

01:04:30.000 They made them, like, invulnerable, but small.

01:04:33.000 So we could squash them.

01:04:34.000 But if they were big, we'd be so fucked.

01:04:37.000 Those murder hornets, remember they were trying to scare us with those?

01:04:41.000 That was right during the COVID. You saw Tiger King and then Murder Haunted.

01:04:46.000 But then the honeybee figured out how to vibrate all around it and kill it with heat.

01:04:53.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:04:54.000 That's crazy!

01:04:56.000 How did they figure that out?

01:04:57.000 And how do they know how to work together to overheat the...

01:05:01.000 Well, Utah is the hive state.

01:05:03.000 Murder wasp.

01:05:04.000 Utah's the hive state, so bees are smart as shit.

01:05:08.000 Yeah.

01:05:08.000 They're weirdly smart.

01:05:10.000 Weirdly smart.

01:05:11.000 There's something connected to bees and aliens.

01:05:15.000 Well, how come they all know how to make that fucking hive?

01:05:19.000 There's no classes.

01:05:21.000 They just come out knowing, like, let's fucking go.

01:05:24.000 Come on, man.

01:05:24.000 Imagine all over the world, this one being knows exactly the kind of shape to make.

01:05:31.000 And makes it with, like, what's it using?

01:05:34.000 What creates that wax?

01:05:37.000 Magnetism.

01:05:39.000 It's using what they get from plants, right?

01:05:42.000 Is it pollen that makes the stuff that they use for wax?

01:05:46.000 Is that what they get, or is it an excretion from their own excretion?

01:05:50.000 So they eat, and then they make this excretion, and then they literally build a house with their own spit.

01:05:55.000 And then we eat it.

01:05:56.000 Yeah, it's delicious.

01:05:58.000 Honeycomb?

01:05:59.000 It's very good.

01:06:01.000 Never had it?

01:06:02.000 Never had it.

01:06:02.000 I'm not a big honey guy.

01:06:04.000 No?

01:06:05.000 Are you into sweet and low?

01:06:07.000 No.

01:06:09.000 You're an aspartame or a real sugar guy?

01:06:12.000 I like the coke with real sugar.

01:06:14.000 Real sugar coke's the best.

01:06:16.000 That's true.

01:06:16.000 And there's an added benefit of knowing it's killing your body.

01:06:20.000 A diet coke, you can pretend you're healthy.

01:06:22.000 I'm having a diet coke.

01:06:23.000 This is basically like water.

01:06:24.000 Pepsi Max.

01:06:26.000 That is not water, bitch.

01:06:28.000 There's nothing about that that's water.

01:06:31.000 This is water for me.

01:06:33.000 You know.

01:06:34.000 What do you say?

01:06:36.000 Why don't you crack that one open?

01:06:39.000 Let's really get into it.

01:06:41.000 Let's get down to the real nitty-gritty.

01:06:43.000 We got pretty into it, man.

01:06:44.000 We're with aliens making people.

01:06:47.000 We're talking about eating bee poop.

01:06:48.000 Yes.

01:06:50.000 You know, that's the crazy thing is we need bees to make other plants.

01:06:54.000 Like, when you find out about pollination, you're like, what?

01:06:57.000 Like, that's how it's done?

01:06:58.000 It's done through the bee?

01:06:59.000 The bee gets it on their body and then they go to another plant and it pollinates it?

01:07:03.000 That's bananas.

01:07:04.000 What a stupid system.

01:07:06.000 That's what we need?

01:07:07.000 There is a matriarchy.

01:07:09.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:07:11.000 There's one boss.

01:07:13.000 Yep.

01:07:14.000 Queen, bitch.

01:07:15.000 That's crazy.

01:07:17.000 Yeah.

01:07:18.000 It's just like humans, essentially.

01:07:22.000 Yeah.

01:07:22.000 Well, in a way...

01:07:24.000 Well, it's not, though.

01:07:26.000 This is the thing about bees.

01:07:29.000 They're small, so we love them.

01:07:32.000 But if they were big, they would be our biggest enemy ever.

01:07:35.000 That would be the most terrifying thing on the planet is a horse-sized bee.

01:07:41.000 And then imagine, like, enormous...

01:07:44.000 Huge colonies of horse-sized bees that come out of the mountains like demons.

01:07:52.000 Come and snatch people up.

01:07:56.000 Do what those Japanese hornets do, where they cut those honeybees' heads off.

01:08:02.000 Imagine if there was something out there doing that to us.

01:08:03.000 There's bees cutting other bees' heads off?

01:08:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:06.000 That's what these murder hornets do.

01:08:08.000 They climb on top of the back of the honeybee and they bite their head off.

01:08:11.000 Yeah, but then honeybee strength in numbers.

01:08:14.000 That's the strength in numbers.

01:08:15.000 I got my friends.

01:08:16.000 But guess what?

01:08:16.000 They don't always win.

01:08:17.000 It doesn't always work out.

01:08:18.000 Sometimes there's a lot of murder hornets.

01:08:20.000 And then sometimes motherfuckers get their heads cut off.

01:08:22.000 Dude, there's a terrifying one, that if it was a horror movie, like if you were a honeybee, it would be the worst, like, Conan the Barbarian movie ever.

01:08:29.000 The most brutal...

01:08:31.000 They swarm in, and these murder hornets grab ahold of these honeybees and just chop their heads off.

01:08:37.000 And they're trying to get in, I think, to get to the...

01:08:42.000 I think they want...

01:08:44.000 Do they want the eggs?

01:08:47.000 This looks like a back music video.

01:08:49.000 Bro, it's...

01:08:50.000 What's that?

01:08:51.000 I think they're just assholes.

01:08:52.000 I don't know.

01:08:52.000 They're just assholes?

01:08:54.000 But look how they do it.

01:08:55.000 They cut their fucking heads off, man.

01:08:57.000 It's horrific.

01:08:58.000 They're so much bigger.

01:08:59.000 And they just run up on these honeybees and cut their heads off.

01:09:03.000 How do they cut them off?

01:09:04.000 With those clippers.

01:09:05.000 Incisors?

01:09:05.000 Yeah, see those front clippers?

01:09:07.000 Those lateral incisors?

01:09:09.000 They just grab them and chop them up, man.

01:09:10.000 It's horrific.

01:09:11.000 They just tear them apart with their face.

01:09:14.000 So there's these weird...

01:09:15.000 Look, those are all dead honeybees.

01:09:17.000 And there's these weird wars that go on with these murder hornets and honeybees.

01:09:21.000 How do you film this?

01:09:23.000 Do you know it's gonna happen?

01:09:24.000 They set it up, bro.

01:09:26.000 They totally set those fucking bees up.

01:09:28.000 Dude, it looks like a fucking Tony Hawk skate video.

01:09:32.000 This looks like a very 90s video.

01:09:35.000 Jamie, that's a really good question.

01:09:37.000 Do you think that this is like a murder for hire scene?

01:09:40.000 It's a snuff film for bees.

01:09:43.000 It's a snuff film.

01:09:44.000 Let the bees or let the hornets go.

01:09:45.000 They need a fisheye.

01:09:47.000 They need a fisheye lens.

01:09:48.000 Look at what's going on here.

01:09:49.000 You got these hornets and you have murdered bodies.

01:09:51.000 This is a horror movie for bees.

01:09:53.000 Look around back there.

01:09:54.000 Those are all bee bodies.

01:09:56.000 Good transition there.

01:09:57.000 Cut these...

01:10:01.000 If that's what we're watching, maybe they did set this up.

01:10:04.000 Maybe they brought in murder hornets to an active honeybee colony.

01:10:06.000 Look at that shit!

01:10:08.000 I know.

01:10:08.000 Bodies, man.

01:10:10.000 Headless bodies.

01:10:10.000 The comb!

01:10:12.000 Oh, the comb, yeah.

01:10:13.000 I know.

01:10:14.000 How'd they figure that out?

01:10:15.000 It's perfect.

01:10:17.000 It's always like that, too.

01:10:18.000 It's not like one guy, they're like, bro, I'm gonna have a fucking double XL cone.

01:10:21.000 Yeah, let me do it.

01:10:22.000 My cone's gonna have eight edges.

01:10:24.000 Yeah.

01:10:25.000 No one has cones like, you know, like some wheels on cars that are just so big.

01:10:29.000 There's no cone like that.

01:10:30.000 They're all the same.

01:10:32.000 They all know how to do it all over the world, too.

01:10:34.000 It's a weird animal.

01:10:36.000 We're just lucky that little thing is that size.

01:10:39.000 That fucker was big.

01:10:41.000 German Shepherd-sized bees.

01:10:43.000 Let's go back to the monolithic period.

01:10:46.000 There were probably bees fucking a foot long.

01:10:49.000 Let's find out.

01:10:50.000 What was the biggest bee in history?

01:10:53.000 You say a foot long, I say you're probably right.

01:10:55.000 I say a foot long.

01:10:56.000 I agree with you.

01:10:57.000 I bet you in dinosaur times those fuckers were huge.

01:11:00.000 That makes sense.

01:11:01.000 Maybe even bigger.

01:11:02.000 I'm gonna go foot and a half.

01:11:03.000 Fuck it.

01:11:03.000 I'll go foot and a half.

01:11:05.000 What do you think, Jamie?

01:11:07.000 The first result was not correct.

01:11:09.000 It gave me something that was actually alive recently they thought was extinct, so that's not...

01:11:13.000 Oh.

01:11:14.000 Let's take a guess now while we're waiting.

01:11:18.000 I'd say 11 inches.

01:11:19.000 I'd say a foot and a half.

01:11:20.000 What do you say?

01:11:21.000 That sounds so big.

01:11:22.000 I know.

01:11:23.000 They were big fuckers.

01:11:24.000 But everything was big back then, man.

01:11:25.000 It's a shoe flying around.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:27.000 A fucking shack shoe.

01:11:29.000 That's my boot.

01:11:30.000 That's my fucking boot.

01:11:32.000 Yeah, 17 inches is pretty big.

01:11:35.000 18 inches?

01:11:36.000 Yeah, five, six inches.

01:11:37.000 That's pretty big too.

01:11:38.000 Yeah.

01:11:39.000 Inch and a half is totally possible though.

01:11:43.000 There was giant fucking bugs back then.

01:11:45.000 18 inches ain't shit.

01:11:48.000 I would imagine there was...

01:11:49.000 A big Shaq's maker.

01:11:50.000 He keeps giving me this thing called Wallace's Giant Bee, which was two and a half inches.

01:11:56.000 Wingspan two and a half inches.

01:11:57.000 That ain't shit.

01:11:57.000 I know.

01:11:58.000 What do you think?

01:11:58.000 Let's Google this.

01:12:00.000 I bet that dog was like fucking 30 feet long.

01:12:08.000 That's how big it is, though.

01:12:09.000 It's still pretty big.

01:12:10.000 I mean, we have that.

01:12:11.000 Oh, that thing, that's right there.

01:12:13.000 That's a tarantula hawk that's in front of the skull.

01:12:15.000 See that little glass bottle?

01:12:17.000 Oh, can I? Yeah, that's from Maynard.

01:12:19.000 You know Maynard from Tool?

01:12:21.000 Maynard Keenan?

01:12:21.000 He has these.

01:12:22.000 That's him.

01:12:23.000 His, from his farm.

01:12:25.000 This is him.

01:12:26.000 That's his.

01:12:26.000 It's him.

01:12:28.000 He's haunting this room through that bug.

01:12:30.000 That's from his farm.

01:12:32.000 He has vineyards, and he sees these fuckers up there.

01:12:38.000 Yeah, if we think about history as exponential, then these fuckers have to be 11 inches exactly.

01:12:48.000 Science, bitch!

01:12:50.000 Science!

01:12:51.000 Okay, let's ask this.

01:12:53.000 What do you think the biggest bug ever is?

01:12:56.000 What's the biggest bug ever?

01:13:00.000 In history.

01:13:01.000 Make sure it's like not...

01:13:03.000 Biggest bug in history.

01:13:04.000 Like millions of years.

01:13:05.000 I say two feet.

01:13:06.000 Okay.

01:13:10.000 Alright.

01:13:12.000 I want to say bigger.

01:13:14.000 Really?

01:13:15.000 Yeah.

01:13:16.000 I want to think there's like some fucking seropods that are technically bugs.

01:13:21.000 Is that what they're called?

01:13:22.000 Seropods?

01:13:23.000 Theropods?

01:13:24.000 Some of those crazy...

01:13:25.000 Cephalopods.

01:13:25.000 Cephalopods?

01:13:26.000 Is that what it is?

01:13:26.000 Maybe.

01:13:27.000 And then crazy, ancient...

01:13:28.000 Oh yeah, those fuckers that are like...

01:13:30.000 Like the Pokemon.

01:13:32.000 Yeah.

01:13:32.000 What's it?

01:13:33.000 Kabutops.

01:13:34.000 Yeah, there was some creepy old bugs back in the day.

01:13:36.000 For sure.

01:13:37.000 Yeah.

01:13:38.000 I want to say it might be three feet.

01:13:41.000 It's different, so I guess it's like a lobster and crabs are technically insects.

01:13:46.000 That's what the divers call them, they call them bugs.

01:13:48.000 There are bigger ones of those than this largest dragonfly that's showing me.

01:13:51.000 It's like 1.8 meters.

01:13:52.000 I feel like there's got to be a crab or a lobster that's bigger than that.

01:13:56.000 What's a conversion?

01:13:57.000 Three feet and then 0.8.

01:13:59.000 It's just compared to a six-foot person.

01:14:01.000 It's not that big.

01:14:03.000 It's pretty big.

01:14:05.000 That's trying to climb in your asshole.

01:14:08.000 If that was trying to climb in your asshole, you'd be very unhappy.

01:14:11.000 That's big.

01:14:13.000 But yeah, but compared to a person.

01:14:15.000 So then they say that's the largest instinct?

01:14:17.000 Insect ever.

01:14:18.000 Extinct insect?

01:14:19.000 275 million years ago.

01:14:21.000 Oh, not that impressive.

01:14:22.000 So...

01:14:45.000 We're lucky they're little.

01:14:48.000 I just found out a few years ago that When locusts come and they swarm into an area and ruin cornfields and shit like that, those are grasshoppers.

01:15:01.000 Some weird change happens to grasshoppers and they become locusts.

01:15:05.000 And it doesn't happen all the time.

01:15:07.000 They're possessed.

01:15:09.000 Maybe we're trying to write it down as some sort of technical...

01:15:18.000 Hormonal change inside the animal, but maybe that is.

01:15:21.000 Every now and then they get possessed by demons, and we're just trying to figure it out.

01:15:24.000 What makes harmless little green grasshoppers turn into brown crop-chomping clouds of swarming locusts?

01:15:30.000 Serotonin!

01:15:30.000 No shit!

01:15:31.000 Yep, according to a study published this week in Science, it took just two to three hours for timid grasshoppers in a lab to morph into a gregarious locusts.

01:15:42.000 Into gregarious locusts after they were injected with serotonin.

01:15:45.000 Wow.

01:15:46.000 Wow.

01:15:47.000 So it changes, this chemical changes what they are.

01:15:50.000 And they get bigger, I think, right?

01:15:53.000 Don't they get bigger?

01:15:54.000 They look bigger.

01:15:55.000 Well, you saw a grasshopper eat a carrot.

01:15:58.000 So they get up there.

01:15:59.000 That was a ridiculous grasshopper.

01:16:01.000 If you were on your bike and your face hit that grasshopper, you might get knocked off the bike, right?

01:16:08.000 This fucker's gotta be like a baseball.

01:16:10.000 Bro, that's a bird.

01:16:11.000 You hit a bird.

01:16:13.000 If you hit a bird with your face while you're driving your bike, you're probably gonna fall down.

01:16:18.000 You probably...

01:16:19.000 You might be able to take it if you get the wiggle of the bike, keep your wits about you.

01:16:24.000 If you get hit in the face with a bird...

01:16:26.000 I mean, planes go down.

01:16:29.000 Right, they do.

01:16:30.000 Birds get sucked into the fucking engine.

01:16:32.000 It's one bird.

01:16:33.000 I think it's more than one bird.

01:16:35.000 You need a few birds.

01:16:36.000 I think you need a lot of beaks.

01:16:39.000 Most of the stuff I think grinds up quick.

01:16:42.000 Beaks or keto.

01:16:43.000 Yeah, the meat grinds up quick.

01:16:44.000 I think it's the beaks.

01:16:47.000 The beaks are the issue.

01:16:49.000 It blows my mind too.

01:16:51.000 Rolls Royce makes turbines.

01:16:53.000 Yeah, for jet engines.

01:16:54.000 That's the craziest shit.

01:16:56.000 They make dope stuff, man.

01:16:58.000 That's a weird company, right?

01:17:00.000 It's pretty balling.

01:17:01.000 You want to let everybody know you're not fucking around!

01:17:05.000 I have a Rolls-Royce turban on my airplane.

01:17:10.000 I don't.

01:17:12.000 No, I was just playing a character.

01:17:14.000 Would you drive a Rolls-Royce?

01:17:16.000 Would I? Yeah.

01:17:18.000 Do you have one?

01:17:20.000 Beautiful.

01:17:21.000 What does it feel like when you're driving around that thing?

01:17:23.000 Like a boat.

01:17:25.000 It's like you're on a pontoon.

01:17:30.000 But you're also on a...

01:17:31.000 You're on like...

01:17:32.000 If you wanted to go to the king of the custom car, the king of the expensive luxury car, it's Rolls Royce.

01:17:40.000 That's the king.

01:17:41.000 Yeah.

01:17:42.000 There's something about it.

01:17:43.000 Driving around, you got that grill?

01:17:45.000 Come on, son.

01:17:45.000 You got stars on the roof?

01:17:47.000 Ladies love it.

01:17:47.000 Stars on the roof, that's right.

01:17:49.000 Stars on the roof.

01:17:50.000 You gotta do that in the Bronco.

01:17:54.000 Uh, no.

01:17:55.000 Can't do that to a Bronco.

01:17:57.000 72 Bronco?

01:17:58.000 You're not allowed to do that.

01:17:59.000 That's gross.

01:18:01.000 You can't put that blue light inside the wheel well.

01:18:05.000 Uh-uh.

01:18:05.000 Stop doing that.

01:18:06.000 Stop doing that.

01:18:08.000 Listen, man.

01:18:09.000 I got blue light in my wheel well.

01:18:11.000 You can have that if you like.

01:18:15.000 You're a different person.

01:18:16.000 A lot of people should not put blue light in the wheel well of their classic Bronco.

01:18:20.000 But yours is from the OJ days.

01:18:23.000 Yeah.

01:18:23.000 Right?

01:18:23.000 That's okay.

01:18:24.000 You can do whatever you want to those.

01:18:25.000 I'm happy to see that here.

01:18:28.000 Because there's a certain charm about Broncos that I think a lot of people understand.

01:18:34.000 They make you smile.

01:18:35.000 I see a nice Bronco.

01:18:36.000 It makes me smile.

01:18:37.000 There's something about it.

01:18:38.000 Even the new ones.

01:18:39.000 I love it.

01:18:40.000 Look at that!

01:18:41.000 That's my Explorer.

01:18:42.000 That's a 92 Ford Explorer, ladies and gentlemen.

01:18:45.000 You got a 92 Ford Explorer with those kind of crazy gull wing doors.

01:18:50.000 Yeah, the back ones don't work.

01:18:53.000 It's hard to get in, but it looks cool.

01:18:57.000 I think the person who did those wing doors the best is Tesla.

01:19:00.000 That Tesla X. Yeah, the gull wings are gangster.

01:19:04.000 It goes straight up in the air and then it comes straight down.

01:19:06.000 I mean, those things are sick.

01:19:10.000 I like Christmas mode.

01:19:12.000 What's Christmas mode?

01:19:13.000 I've seen the dance mode.

01:19:15.000 Yeah, that's the same.

01:19:18.000 Maybe you just do dance mode during December and then it's Christmas.

01:19:23.000 Tiffany Haddish, back in the days we were allowed to go to the Comedy Store, Tiffany Haddish was in the parking lot and she had her car on dance mode.

01:19:30.000 She had it playing music and the car was dancing and she was dancing in front of it and a bunch of us were dancing too.

01:19:35.000 It was hilarious.

01:19:36.000 It was like a car dancing.

01:19:38.000 What were your moves like?

01:19:40.000 My dance moves?

01:19:41.000 Yeah.

01:19:41.000 They were very subtle.

01:19:42.000 Very, like, barely moving.

01:19:44.000 Yeah, look at that shit.

01:19:46.000 There it is.

01:19:46.000 Yeah, that's the Christmas!

01:19:50.000 That's crazy.

01:19:50.000 It also plays Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

01:19:53.000 This is what happens when you get super smart dudes and you give them too much free time.

01:19:58.000 And you're like, what else do you guys want to do?

01:20:00.000 And they're like, Elon, what we want to do is we want to make it dance.

01:20:04.000 Like, okay.

01:20:05.000 That's cool.

01:20:05.000 For Christmas.

01:20:06.000 Super cool.

01:20:07.000 We want to make it dance for Christmas, Halloween, every holiday.

01:20:13.000 Yeah.

01:20:14.000 That's a different animal, too.

01:20:16.000 The Tesla animal's a different animal.

01:20:18.000 When you're in one of those, it doesn't even feel like a car.

01:20:20.000 It feels like you're on some next-level thing.

01:20:23.000 You're in some, oh, this is what the future of cars is.

01:20:26.000 Oh, it's here right now.

01:20:27.000 Would you drive an entirely autonomous car?

01:20:32.000 I think you're gonna have to eventually.

01:20:34.000 I don't think so.

01:20:35.000 I think they're gonna get so good at making those things not crash that will completely eliminate auto accidents.

01:20:42.000 But then there's something that could...

01:20:48.000 Have you seen Upgrade?

01:20:50.000 Yes, I did.

01:20:51.000 Fun movie.

01:20:52.000 And then, great movie.

01:20:54.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 Car gets hacked.

01:20:56.000 Yes, that's right.

01:20:58.000 I think always, and I can't speak for the next generation, but I think I will always, until I die, drive my motor vehicle.

01:21:09.000 I think that...

01:21:10.000 We're old school.

01:21:11.000 Yeah.

01:21:12.000 If we like it or not.

01:21:13.000 We're old school.

01:21:13.000 Because think, you're younger than me, but there will be people younger than you.

01:21:16.000 And 10, 20 years from now, they'll be dealing with a totally different reality.

01:21:21.000 Like, there's a lot of kids today that are just used to Uber, right?

01:21:23.000 That's what they do.

01:21:24.000 They just use Lyft, or they use Uber, and they barely drive anywhere.

01:21:28.000 Avoids drunk driving, doesn't cost that much, they just travel around with other people driving them.

01:21:32.000 They're used to someone else driving.

01:21:34.000 So if all of a sudden it comes along that you can get a car...

01:21:36.000 That can drive you around and with 100% certainty not crash into other cars?

01:21:41.000 Right.

01:21:41.000 Like, do they all communicate with each other?

01:21:42.000 Right.

01:21:43.000 They're going to say, hey people, we think about how many people die from car accidents every year.

01:21:48.000 Right.

01:21:48.000 Now think about what...

01:21:50.000 What we would do to bring those people back, all you have to do is not drive your car and that's how it happens.

01:21:56.000 It doesn't happen because anybody's evil.

01:21:59.000 It doesn't happen just like this is what people do.

01:22:01.000 They get more and more control over their environment and more and more control over safety and more and more control over what you can and can't do because you don't want to violate the safety protocols.

01:22:12.000 If everybody else is using the autonomous car and you're in your crazy Bronco and you smash into someone, that's your fault.

01:22:19.000 You fucked up.

01:22:20.000 If you didn't have that goddamn Bronco, Post Malone.

01:22:23.000 It's just like an airplane flight.

01:22:25.000 If I'm gonna die on an airplane, I would rather know that I'm gonna die rather than be completely out of control of the situation.

01:22:35.000 I wonder what that would be like if you were asleep.

01:22:39.000 Probably be fine.

01:22:40.000 They never woke you up?

01:22:41.000 You took two of those ambience and just fucking crashed.

01:22:47.000 I'm just gonna lay here.

01:22:50.000 Got a couple of champagne.

01:22:54.000 Oxygen masks are falling down from the ceiling.

01:22:56.000 You're out of the game.

01:22:57.000 Cold, son.

01:22:57.000 Stop.

01:22:58.000 I hate flying.

01:22:59.000 Okay, I'm sorry.

01:23:01.000 But then you just wake up in another dimension.

01:23:03.000 If you knew how to fly a plane, everything would be different.

01:23:08.000 If you knew how to fly an airplane, the anxiety of flying would be gone.

01:23:14.000 I don't think that's true.

01:23:15.000 Because you understand that turbulence is...

01:23:21.000 Controllable and you can figure it out.

01:23:24.000 Yeah, but I think when shit goes wrong, it goes really wrong.

01:23:28.000 It's always going to be there.

01:23:30.000 Right.

01:23:30.000 There's always going to be that fear.

01:23:32.000 But then as a passenger, it's kind of like being with a crazy driver.

01:23:40.000 You're like, oh, he's making me nervous.

01:23:42.000 Yeah, a little bit.

01:23:43.000 Could be.

01:23:44.000 But then, I mean, turbulence is uncontrollable.

01:23:49.000 But...

01:23:51.000 You feel more comfortable having known if this crazy driver goes crazy, you can grab the wheel and know how to drive.

01:24:01.000 Fuck.

01:24:03.000 Imagine that scenario.

01:24:05.000 Drinking champagne, hanging with your buddies on a plane, thinking everything's groovy.

01:24:10.000 All of a sudden, pilot has a stroke.

01:24:13.000 And then, fuck, oh shit.

01:24:16.000 Posty knows how to fly a plane.

01:24:19.000 He's gonna save the day.

01:24:22.000 What if they both get sick with some crazy disease?

01:24:24.000 You only stopped in Hawaii for one night, but something that the fucking pilots ate.

01:24:29.000 They're sick with a contagious disease and they're in the front.

01:24:32.000 So they're zombies.

01:24:34.000 Dude.

01:24:35.000 The pilots are zombies.

01:24:36.000 The pilots are zombies.

01:24:37.000 Yo, we just made a fucking dope ass movie right now.

01:24:42.000 Doesn't it, Chuck Palahniuk, doesn't he have a movie or a book?

01:24:46.000 Here's a short story where a person turns into a werewolf on a plane.

01:24:52.000 Somebody sent it to me a long time ago.

01:24:55.000 That sounds awesome.

01:24:56.000 Yeah, I think it's a little girl.

01:24:58.000 A little girl becomes a werewolf on a plane.

01:24:59.000 It's called Survivor.

01:25:01.000 Wait.

01:25:04.000 Well, he's got two.

01:25:05.000 About a plane.

01:25:06.000 Sorry.

01:25:07.000 It's a kid becomes a werewolf on a plane.

01:25:11.000 Google that.

01:25:12.000 That's what I did.

01:25:13.000 Type that in.

01:25:14.000 What is that?

01:25:14.000 He had a collection of horror stories, didn't he?

01:25:18.000 Okay, that's called Haunted.

01:25:20.000 Haunted?

01:25:20.000 Yeah.

01:25:21.000 That's Chuck Palahniuk, right?

01:25:23.000 Mm-hmm.

01:25:23.000 Am I saying his name right?

01:25:24.000 I believe so.

01:25:25.000 Thank you.

01:25:26.000 See?

01:25:27.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:25:28.000 That's it.

01:25:29.000 And one of them is about...

01:25:33.000 Am I remembering this wrong?

01:25:34.000 It seems super obscure.

01:25:36.000 It popped up when I was looking through here.

01:25:37.000 Let me see if I can find the thing about the...

01:25:39.000 This is the same guy who wrote Fight Club.

01:25:42.000 Really interesting guy.

01:25:43.000 Had him on the podcast for a very interesting guy.

01:25:46.000 Super smart.

01:25:49.000 But what a fucking imagination.

01:25:52.000 So...

01:25:52.000 That's a great movie, though.

01:25:54.000 Embracing of creepy thoughts.

01:25:55.000 Right?

01:25:56.000 Pilots get...

01:25:59.000 The zombie disease before taking off and then the pilots become zombies on the flight.

01:26:07.000 There it is.

01:26:08.000 A 13-year-old Chihuahua Indian girl transformed as if a werewolf aboard the plane and caused a crash.

01:26:16.000 She relates her theory to Missing Link who tells her the girl in question was his sister.

01:26:23.000 Okay, I think I just gave away some spoilers.

01:26:27.000 What's in the box?

01:26:28.000 What's in the box?

01:26:31.000 No, no, no!

01:26:32.000 No!

01:26:34.000 What do you do with Kevin Spacey?

01:26:36.000 What happens with that guy now?

01:26:37.000 I have no idea.

01:26:39.000 He's the guy.

01:26:41.000 Isn't he?

01:26:43.000 Wasn't he the guy in that movie?

01:26:45.000 That was Brad Pitt.

01:26:47.000 I was doing Brad Pitt.

01:26:48.000 But he's the killer.

01:26:49.000 Yeah.

01:26:52.000 I was doing Brad Pitt.

01:26:54.000 I know.

01:26:55.000 But I was saying, he's saying it to Kevin Spacey.

01:26:57.000 Then he kills Kevin Spacey, right?

01:27:01.000 I'm 25. I hear you, bro.

01:27:06.000 That's one of the best answers anybody's ever given to anything.

01:27:09.000 One of the most self-aware answers anybody's ever given to anything.

01:27:14.000 How about this first?

01:27:15.000 Great fucking movie, man.

01:27:16.000 Seven?

01:27:17.000 Jesus Christ, that was a vivid movie.

01:27:20.000 Large torso.

01:27:21.000 Kevin's pacing?

01:27:24.000 Hmm, okay.

01:27:28.000 There it is.

01:27:29.000 It's not the smallest torso.

01:27:31.000 I'm not arguing.

01:27:32.000 You're jealous.

01:27:33.000 You're a little bit jealous.

01:27:34.000 You know your torso's bigger.

01:27:37.000 He seems like he's got a good lung capacity.

01:27:40.000 He can take a big deep breath.

01:27:42.000 Oh!

01:27:48.000 What's in the box?

01:27:52.000 That's a creepy ass fucking movie, man.

01:27:54.000 I love a good creepy movie.

01:27:56.000 Me too.

01:27:57.000 True Detective was kind of like seven for me.

01:28:00.000 The first season.

01:28:01.000 Yes.

01:28:02.000 I like them supernatural.

01:28:04.000 I like creepy movies supernatural or with monsters because I know they're bullshit that way.

01:28:08.000 Like ones that are like too close to humans, to actual human beings.

01:28:12.000 I like that.

01:28:13.000 I like kind of like the slasher type vibe to where it's like, oh, there's a dude in a mask that wants to fuck everybody up.

01:28:21.000 Because I know if it was my house, I'd just pop the fucker and then burn him.

01:28:26.000 I don't think that works with Jason.

01:28:28.000 It works with Jason.

01:28:29.000 But he always comes back.

01:28:30.000 He made like 100 movies.

01:28:32.000 Well, what was the last movie?

01:28:33.000 The last movie was Jamie Lee Curtis.

01:28:35.000 She's still fucking with this dude.

01:28:37.000 It's Halloween.

01:28:38.000 Oh, that's a different one?

01:28:40.000 Yeah, it's Michael Myers.

01:28:40.000 Oh, Jason is different.

01:28:42.000 Yeah, and then Michael Myers.

01:28:43.000 Yeah, Halloween.

01:28:43.000 That's right.

01:28:44.000 And my dad used to...

01:28:45.000 My dad used to scare the fuck out of me and he knew Michael Myers scared the shit out of me and for Halloween he put the mask on and scared the living shit out of me.

01:28:57.000 That's a terrible thing to do to a kid.

01:28:59.000 Well, that's why I'm so fucked up to this day.

01:29:02.000 Michael Myers is Halloween and Jason is...

01:29:06.000 Which one had more movies?

01:29:07.000 Halloween was only a few, right?

01:29:09.000 Jason Voorhees, for sure.

01:29:10.000 He had the most.

01:29:11.000 There was like fucking eight of those motherfuckers.

01:29:13.000 Nine.

01:29:14.000 He died in space or something like that.

01:29:16.000 Don't!

01:29:16.000 Jason died in space!

01:29:17.000 That's where it got to.

01:29:18.000 That's where it got to.

01:29:20.000 He linked up...

01:29:21.000 Do you remember Leprechaun?

01:29:23.000 Yes!

01:29:24.000 Yes, I do!

01:29:25.000 Leprechaun killed Jason.

01:29:26.000 Oh my god, that happened?

01:29:28.000 It got to a point where Freddy Krueger was fighting Jason.

01:29:31.000 Oh!

01:29:32.000 And the only motherfucker that could kill Jason was fucking Freddy Krueger.

01:29:36.000 Oh, that's so stupid.

01:29:39.000 Oh my god, that's so stupid.

01:29:41.000 Look at him.

01:29:42.000 Yeah, man.

01:29:44.000 Leprechaun.

01:29:45.000 Yo, there is a Leprechaun vs.

01:29:47.000 Jason?

01:29:48.000 There really is.

01:29:49.000 Someone might have edited this cleverly or something.

01:29:51.000 No, I remember this.

01:29:52.000 This was an actual movie.

01:29:53.000 I don't think so.

01:29:54.000 Are you sure?

01:29:55.000 I remember Leprechaun in space.

01:29:57.000 Well, why don't you Google whether or not it's a movie?

01:29:59.000 Well, I did, and I just clicked on the first thing that popped up.

01:30:01.000 I think Leprechaun vs.

01:30:02.000 Jason was a movie.

01:30:03.000 I think people are editing some shit.

01:30:05.000 Why don't you Google it?

01:30:07.000 Yeah, buddy.

01:30:09.000 Jesus Christ.

01:30:10.000 I did, and all that comes up is YouTube clips.

01:30:12.000 I don't think it's a real movie.

01:30:13.000 What about that?

01:30:14.000 Yeah, look, a fan-made trailer.

01:30:15.000 I made for fun.

01:30:16.000 A fan-made trailer.

01:30:17.000 Ah, you son of a bitch.

01:30:19.000 Yo, people ask for, is Jason stronger than Freddy?

01:30:24.000 Which Jason is the scariest?

01:30:26.000 Jason and Leprechaun.

01:30:28.000 How does someone not make that movie?

01:30:30.000 That movie is a dumb deal.

01:30:33.000 Can we look up Leprechaun Jason fan fiction?

01:30:35.000 Bro, before COVID, you could walk...

01:30:37.000 There has to be some fanfic of Leprechaun and Jason.

01:30:40.000 100% there has to be.

01:30:42.000 But before COVID, you could probably walk into any of those horror movie-making producer's office and pitch that idea.

01:30:51.000 And they'd be like, oh shit, why didn't we think of that?

01:30:53.000 Leprechaun versus Jason.

01:30:55.000 In space.

01:30:56.000 In space.

01:30:58.000 In Yellowstone.

01:30:59.000 And Michael Myers is the director.

01:31:03.000 How many movies were there with Jason?

01:31:05.000 It has to be like 20, right?

01:31:08.000 Okay, let's ask this.

01:31:10.000 More Jasons or more Mission Impossibles?

01:31:13.000 More Jason.

01:31:14.000 Really?

01:31:15.000 For sure.

01:31:16.000 That's a lot of Mission Impossibles.

01:31:17.000 There's like five, right?

01:31:18.000 I don't know.

01:31:19.000 I was trying to find the newest one the other day.

01:31:21.000 I was trying to watch something crazy and mindless.

01:31:25.000 There's a lot of born identities.

01:31:27.000 There's 12. There's 12 Friday the 13th.

01:31:29.000 Oh my god, the prophecy will be concluded on the 13th.

01:31:35.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:31:36.000 They're waiting for that.

01:31:37.000 No, they're waiting for Leprechaun.

01:31:39.000 This is the trailer for the fucking movie, Jamie.

01:31:43.000 This is the trailer.

01:31:44.000 You saying that, us looking it up, everybody laughing.

01:31:47.000 Oh, fuck!

01:31:49.000 It's Jason Voorhees!

01:31:51.000 And the Leprechaun, together at last.

01:31:53.000 Imagine getting killed by a Leprechaun.

01:31:55.000 He'd be like, I can't believe this shit.

01:31:58.000 Like if you're a girl, you go home, if you're a groupie, and you go home with the goblin or the...

01:32:03.000 Necrogoblikon.

01:32:05.000 Yeah.

01:32:05.000 Imagine if he's a real goblin.

01:32:07.000 Can't even say the word.

01:32:11.000 Necrogoblikon.

01:32:12.000 Goblin's hard to say.

01:32:13.000 It would be a great Stephen King book right there.

01:32:15.000 A goblin who pretended to be a guy in makeup.

01:32:18.000 Oh yeah, yeah, he still writes.

01:32:20.000 Look at that leprechaun.

01:32:21.000 Terrifying.

01:32:23.000 Terrifying.

01:32:24.000 There's a great Stephen King movie about a vampire that flies around at night in his own plane.

01:32:29.000 Great in terms of, like, let me just, like, stress.

01:32:32.000 It's classic.

01:32:34.000 It's, like, very 80s-like.

01:32:37.000 It's not great when you see it.

01:32:38.000 Like, man, this is like they made it yesterday.

01:32:41.000 Not like, you know, like a...

01:32:43.000 You know, like a classic Francis Ford Coppola movie or a Stanley Kubrick movie.

01:32:50.000 Not like that.

01:32:51.000 But...

01:32:52.000 It's called Night Flyer, I think.

01:32:54.000 It's a really good book.

01:32:55.000 I read the book.

01:32:56.000 It's like a short story, I think.

01:32:58.000 And then the movie is this vampire just flying around fucking people up and then he covers his plane during the day and he just lays out there and they have to figure out what the fuck's going on.

01:33:09.000 And there's this vampire with his own plane flying around fucking people up.

01:33:13.000 That's pretty cool.

01:33:15.000 I watched Salem's Lot for the first time.

01:33:18.000 That's a good movie.

01:33:18.000 That was a made-for-TV thing.

01:33:20.000 Salem's Lot?

01:33:21.000 Yeah.

01:33:22.000 Well, it's like fucking nine hours long.

01:33:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:33:25.000 It was like a made-for-network television miniseries type of deal.

01:33:29.000 Well, that was It, too.

01:33:31.000 It was made...

01:33:32.000 The first one, right?

01:33:33.000 It was a television thing, right?

01:33:35.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:33:36.000 That was the one with the guy from Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?

01:33:40.000 Mm-hmm.

01:33:41.000 Alice Cooper?

01:33:42.000 No, who is Tim Curry?

01:33:45.000 Tim Curry's the first It.

01:33:48.000 He was the first It in the TV version of It.

01:33:50.000 Which is like, believe it or not, scary at the time when it came out.

01:33:53.000 It's terrible.

01:33:54.000 No, that movie sucks.

01:33:55.000 I hate it.

01:33:56.000 It scares the fuck out of me still.

01:33:58.000 But they're nothing compared to the new ones.

01:34:00.000 That's the new It.

01:34:02.000 I think this guy's scarier than the new guy.

01:34:06.000 That's pretty scary.

01:34:09.000 We all float down here, cowboy.

01:34:12.000 Look at that face, man.

01:34:13.000 Jesus Christ.

01:34:15.000 So that's the 1990 Pennywise.

01:34:19.000 Yeah, there's something about that that might actually be creepier.

01:34:22.000 Yeah, it's just like...

01:34:27.000 Fucking lifeless.

01:34:28.000 Well, there's something about it.

01:34:29.000 It's a real...

01:34:30.000 The thing about that is, like, if you looked into a sewer and you saw a man, like, that's a real thing.

01:34:37.000 That's not, like, CGI. No, that's, like...

01:34:40.000 Yeah, there's no effects.

01:34:41.000 There's no effects.

01:34:42.000 Yeah, the thing about the new one is it scares the fuck out of you, but when it opens its mouth and then clamps down and bites a kid's arm off...

01:34:48.000 Right, you're like...

01:34:49.000 That's not real.

01:34:50.000 It's not really happening.

01:34:52.000 Do you know Michael Myers' mask was Will Shatner?

01:34:56.000 What?

01:34:57.000 Really?

01:34:58.000 It was a Will Shatner mask?

01:34:59.000 Yeah.

01:35:00.000 No shit!

01:35:01.000 It was...

01:35:02.000 Yeah, there's a lot of information on it.

01:35:06.000 But Michael Myers' mask was like a Will Shatner...

01:35:10.000 Oh my god.

01:35:11.000 It was supposed to be Captain Kirk, apparently, but...

01:35:14.000 Oh my god.

01:35:15.000 They just took the eyebrows off.

01:35:17.000 It's fucking terrifying.

01:35:20.000 Oh my god, it is.

01:35:22.000 That is who he is.

01:35:24.000 How weird.

01:35:25.000 Isn't that weird?

01:35:26.000 Fucking real weird.

01:35:27.000 But that's how it fucking goes.

01:35:28.000 It's like the uncanny valley.

01:35:31.000 There's something about someone wearing a mask too, like that kind of mask.

01:35:35.000 Like you don't see any humanity.

01:35:37.000 Yeah, it's just...

01:35:39.000 I'm gonna fucking destroy it.

01:35:41.000 Yes.

01:35:42.000 From the darkness.

01:35:44.000 That's what we're all scared of, right?

01:35:46.000 We're all scared of some super powerful demonic shit that's outside of our control.

01:35:51.000 Jason's coming, demons are coming.

01:35:53.000 What if demons existed, but really rarely?

01:35:56.000 Just like UFOs.

01:35:57.000 Like these people that have taken selfies at the Grand Canyon.

01:36:01.000 And they're like posing like, look, and then all of a sudden...

01:36:04.000 What if this little demon is just waiting for a moment like that?

01:36:06.000 In the Grand Canyon?

01:36:07.000 Yeah, everywhere.

01:36:08.000 Just waiting for you to do something stupid.

01:36:10.000 There's just a couple.

01:36:12.000 There's like 15. There it is, Night Flyer.

01:36:15.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:36:16.000 That's the vampire.

01:36:17.000 That guy's the reporter.

01:36:19.000 He's going to expose the vampire.

01:36:23.000 When I say it's really good, I don't mean it's really good.

01:36:28.000 I mean, it's really good because it's kind of schlocky and crazy, and you're watching this fucking...

01:36:36.000 He's not fighting back very hard.

01:36:38.000 No, he can't.

01:36:39.000 The vampire has so much power, he has to do what the vampire says.

01:36:45.000 The book is cooler, for sure.

01:36:49.000 The book is really cool.

01:36:50.000 There's another book that's really good that Stephen King did about aliens called The Tommyknockers.

01:36:54.000 That's a great book.

01:36:55.000 That's about a UFO that was like buried in the in the ground near a town and its energy started fucking everybody up like it was it was messing with people and messing because there was this this thing that was right and that was a great book that they made a movie out of it but the movie didn't really kind of capture what the book was about.

01:37:15.000 It's too hard.

01:37:16.000 It makes sense.

01:37:19.000 Radiation, I guess.

01:37:20.000 Yeah, radiation from some outer space craft fucking with all these people.

01:37:25.000 How do you react to that?

01:37:26.000 Who knows, man?

01:37:27.000 Who knows?

01:37:28.000 You've seen Brightburn?

01:37:29.000 Brightburn?

01:37:30.000 What's that?

01:37:31.000 So it's like Superman if he was bad.

01:37:36.000 Superman if he was bad.

01:37:37.000 If he was evil.

01:37:39.000 Okay.

01:37:40.000 I thought it was great.

01:37:41.000 It's a movie?

01:37:42.000 Yeah.

01:37:43.000 It's a movie.

01:37:44.000 Whoa!

01:37:44.000 When did this come out?

01:37:46.000 Really?

01:37:47.000 You should watch this fucker.

01:37:50.000 I'm so out of the loop.

01:37:51.000 You should watch this fucker.

01:37:52.000 It's pretty good.

01:37:53.000 Dude, that sounds incredible.

01:37:55.000 It's literally like parallel Superman, but if he was bullied and treated like shit and he was angry.

01:38:03.000 Just imagine that.

01:38:05.000 Oh my god, imagine that.

01:38:07.000 If you had that power, but you were angry instead of wanting to help people.

01:38:11.000 Right.

01:38:12.000 Like who says superheroes want to help people?

01:38:14.000 Oh my god.

01:38:16.000 Yeah, imagine if you're like super fucking annoying, but you're also super powerful.

01:38:24.000 You're from another planet, but you smell weird and the girls here don't like you.

01:38:27.000 Yeah.

01:38:28.000 Fuck!

01:38:28.000 You're from another planet.

01:38:30.000 And you're fucking 12 and you're like...

01:38:31.000 God damn it.

01:38:32.000 And you just get angry and you become...

01:38:33.000 And you fucking...

01:38:34.000 You let them know.

01:38:35.000 Squish your mom.

01:38:36.000 Listen, bitches.

01:38:37.000 With a school bus.

01:38:38.000 I'm more powerful than all you fucking aunts.

01:38:41.000 That's...

01:38:41.000 I always think about that, too.

01:38:43.000 If there was a real superhero...

01:38:45.000 Would he lay low or would he be like, I am God?

01:38:50.000 He would be beating girls off his dick 24 hours a day and he wouldn't have a chance to save the world.

01:38:56.000 Because they would be just lined up.

01:38:58.000 There's a show called The Boys.

01:39:00.000 Right?

01:39:01.000 They don't want that DNA. Oh yeah, it's like a superhero show.

01:39:04.000 Yeah, but it's like, superheroes are like celebrities.

01:39:09.000 But it would be on such a more grand scale.

01:39:12.000 Bro.

01:39:12.000 But if you were the only one, too, you would be, like, the king of the planet.

01:39:20.000 Well, that was always my problem with the Watchmen.

01:39:23.000 Not my problem, but, like, an interesting part of the Watchmen story was Dr. Manhattan.

01:39:30.000 Right.

01:39:30.000 Who was basically a god.

01:39:32.000 Right.

01:39:32.000 He could do anything.

01:39:33.000 Right.

01:39:34.000 It seemed to be no limit to his powers.

01:39:37.000 I mean, he lived in space.

01:39:38.000 And his wiener was huge.

01:39:40.000 Huge.

01:39:40.000 Giant blue hog.

01:39:42.000 And that was back when you could show hogs.

01:39:44.000 You could show them in a movie.

01:39:46.000 Right?

01:39:47.000 I find a lot more hogs in movies nowadays.

01:39:50.000 Well, now they're desperate.

01:39:52.000 It's like all they have is streaming.

01:39:53.000 We need a fucking hog.

01:39:54.000 They have to show the hog.

01:39:55.000 For a while, you could be cavalier about hiding your hogs.

01:40:00.000 You didn't have to go to showing the hog in order to get ratings.

01:40:04.000 But now, goddammit, with Netflix, they can do anything.

01:40:06.000 We've got to show some hogs.

01:40:07.000 We've got hogs on Netflix.

01:40:09.000 But in that movie, it was like, remember when they had Dr. Manhattan?

01:40:12.000 Like, you got out of the shower or something like that.

01:40:14.000 And you're like, Jesus.

01:40:15.000 Like, you see his big old dick.

01:40:17.000 And you had to.

01:40:18.000 So if you went just to see a superhero movie, and you're out there with your girl...

01:40:22.000 You're having some popcorn, drinking some Diet Coke, enjoying this movie, all of a sudden you see a big old blue dick that you did not expect.

01:40:30.000 But what about when he goes...

01:40:32.000 Yeah, but he has a giant blue hog.

01:40:34.000 Full size.

01:40:35.000 Like huge, like in New York, walking around.

01:40:38.000 Yeah.

01:40:38.000 Yeah, with his giant blue dick, just swinging.

01:40:41.000 What does God's dick look like?

01:40:42.000 Like that.

01:40:43.000 It's perfect.

01:40:44.000 Not too big, not too small.

01:40:46.000 It's like the perfect tits aren't like triple E fake boobs, right?

01:40:49.000 There's a perfect time.

01:40:51.000 Perfect dick's ridiculous.

01:40:53.000 Like, what is the number?

01:40:54.000 Like, a dude with a giant carpet rolled dick?

01:40:56.000 That's no good.

01:40:57.000 Like, now you've got a handicap.

01:40:59.000 There's a comfortable time.

01:41:01.000 Like, whatever the size.

01:41:03.000 You gotta stop right there and don't be greedy.

01:41:06.000 I'm happy here.

01:41:07.000 Normal.

01:41:08.000 Good for you.

01:41:10.000 Normal's a good place to be, man.

01:41:12.000 Normal's a good place to be.

01:41:13.000 I don't want the Dr. Manhattan dick.

01:41:15.000 Yeah, you don't want any of that shit.

01:41:16.000 But that dude was a real god.

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 What's crazy is that could be people.

01:41:22.000 And that could be people in a hundred years.

01:41:24.000 With gene editing and technology.

01:41:26.000 And CRISPR. CRISPR and then the ability to...

01:41:30.000 They incorporate technology inside of human beings.

01:41:33.000 When they figure out how to put processors inside of human beings and make you smarter, they figure out a way to connect your brain, connect it through the air with the internet.

01:41:42.000 You're always connected, always on.

01:41:43.000 That's the next move.

01:41:44.000 It's gonna happen.

01:41:45.000 That's the next move is your wallets in your body.

01:41:49.000 There was a video, and I don't know if it was fake.

01:41:52.000 Jamie, there was a video where there was a corporation that was, they convinced their employees to get a microchip in their arm.

01:42:01.000 Was that fake?

01:42:02.000 That was real.

01:42:03.000 No shit.

01:42:05.000 And they used it to, like, buy things at lunch, and they could use it to open doors.

01:42:10.000 Dude, they stuck this thing in their fucking arm.

01:42:14.000 So they have, like, this RFID chip in their arms.

01:42:17.000 Like, if you want to work there, you have to get it in your arm.

01:42:22.000 Sounds like the Belko experiment.

01:42:24.000 Just imagine that, man.

01:42:26.000 You want to work at UPS? Great.

01:42:28.000 We need to stick a fucking electronic roach inside your body.

01:42:32.000 I mean, 97% of money is digital.

01:42:38.000 Right, like how much of it is actual gold?

01:42:41.000 3%.

01:42:41.000 Look at that thing.

01:42:42.000 They planted that in that dude's fucking hand.

01:42:45.000 No shit.

01:42:45.000 Now what if he does jujitsu?

01:42:47.000 Then what?

01:42:48.000 Huh?

01:42:49.000 That thing's gonna break.

01:42:51.000 You're gonna have to cut it out.

01:42:53.000 It's gonna get infected.

01:42:55.000 God damn it.

01:42:57.000 No shit.

01:42:58.000 Bro, there's a fucking company and these people are lining up to get this shit injected into their body.

01:43:04.000 Look at that guy.

01:43:05.000 He's like, I should have stayed in college.

01:43:07.000 That's what he's thinking right now.

01:43:08.000 He's thinking, I should own this company.

01:43:10.000 These guys are all assholes.

01:43:11.000 I can't believe everyone's willing to get this thing inserted in their fucking body.

01:43:16.000 I couldn't ever.

01:43:18.000 It's crazy.

01:43:19.000 I couldn't ever.

01:43:20.000 What is the company's name?

01:43:23.000 Three Square Market.

01:43:25.000 I think I read about it once, but they might have been doing proof of concept to show this could work for other companies.

01:43:30.000 Is that what they do?

01:43:32.000 Do they do these things?

01:43:34.000 Almost like those Amazon Go stores where you could just walk in, grab what you want, and leave.

01:43:40.000 Uh-huh.

01:43:40.000 That your chip knows how much money you have and it just scans the scanner or whatever on the way out.

01:43:45.000 That's so...

01:43:46.000 What if you don't have money?

01:43:49.000 Then it follows you home.

01:43:50.000 What if you don't have money?

01:43:51.000 One of those iRobots.

01:43:53.000 What if you build up that debt?

01:43:55.000 It's like 10 grand in chip debt and then they gotta fucking take your fucking hand.

01:44:00.000 iRobot knocks on your door.

01:44:01.000 Bang, bang, bang.

01:44:02.000 Man.

01:44:03.000 We are here to collect money from you, Pulse Malone.

01:44:05.000 It's the suede denim secret police.

01:44:08.000 Fuck.

01:44:09.000 Westworld.

01:44:09.000 You ever watch that show?

01:44:11.000 Yeah.

01:44:11.000 First season.

01:44:12.000 Artificial people you're allowed to shoot.

01:44:14.000 Artificial peepee?

01:44:15.000 People.

01:44:16.000 Oh, okay.

01:44:17.000 Robot people you're allowed to shoot.

01:44:18.000 Artificial peepee.

01:44:20.000 Artificial people, you're allowed to shoot.

01:44:23.000 I might have stumbled through that.

01:44:23.000 I might have fucked that up.

01:44:25.000 Well, I can't say necrogoblican.

01:44:27.000 Who can?

01:44:28.000 Who can?

01:44:30.000 That would be a great Stephen King book, right?

01:44:32.000 A goblin that tricks people into thinking it's a man in a mask.

01:44:35.000 How about a goblin with a microchip that runs out of money?

01:44:38.000 And then he has to go on the run from his fucking...

01:44:42.000 His debt collectors.

01:44:44.000 That's a cool movie!

01:44:45.000 Yeah, that's a cool...

01:44:46.000 You get a little bit of Lord of the Rings, you get a little bit of Iroh, you get all that shit.

01:44:50.000 He has to tell people, I keep my phone off most of the time because his debt collectors just blow my phone up.

01:44:57.000 I only turn it on a couple minutes a day just to check my messages.

01:45:00.000 Maybe you think...

01:45:04.000 The chip just goes crazy and it gives you...

01:45:08.000 The advantages of implants over cards is their permanence.

01:45:12.000 They are unlikely to be lost and are non-transferable.

01:45:16.000 Businesses do not need to worry about theft or access details to the same degree because to do so would involve mutilation and be much more obvious.

01:45:29.000 What?

01:45:31.000 What the fuck is that?

01:45:33.000 They say mutilation in the article.

01:45:36.000 You mean someone stealing your chip so they could cut it off your body.

01:45:40.000 From a business perspective, it also allows a more precise tracking of employees due to the in-body nature of an implant over a car.

01:45:48.000 Oh my god.

01:45:49.000 So listen to this, but this statement is so bizarre.

01:45:53.000 Mutilation in the article is...

01:45:54.000 Businesses do not need to worry about theft or...

01:45:58.000 Of access details to the same degree because to do so would involve mutilation and be much more obvious.

01:46:06.000 Can you imagine?

01:46:07.000 You don't have to worry about someone cutting that chip out of your fucking hip and using it to open all the building and stealing all the information because that would be obvious.

01:46:17.000 No, it'd be really obvious.

01:46:18.000 Everyone would see it coming.

01:46:19.000 And it would involve mutilation.

01:46:22.000 I love mutilation in the paragraph.

01:46:25.000 That's my favorite.

01:46:26.000 You're sitting around at your house thinking, I can't believe I let these motherfuckers inject this thing in my hip.

01:46:31.000 Just feeling it every morning.

01:46:33.000 You touch this thing.

01:46:34.000 That's what I was getting at.

01:46:37.000 If you're overdue on your balance, it would just irritate you.

01:46:42.000 There would be something that would irritate you to the point of insanity.

01:46:46.000 Wake up and get another job to pay me.

01:46:48.000 What?

01:46:49.000 Who are you?

01:46:49.000 You're fucking neurological.

01:46:51.000 Who said that?

01:46:52.000 Yeah.

01:46:53.000 The chip.

01:46:53.000 It's your chip.

01:46:54.000 It's chip.

01:46:55.000 Yeah.

01:46:57.000 It's the Overlord.

01:46:58.000 We are communicating to you from your chip.

01:47:01.000 You don't want us to involve mutilation in this fucking...

01:47:05.000 Because that would be obvious.

01:47:07.000 It would be too obvious.

01:47:09.000 It would be too obvious.

01:47:11.000 That's like the most non-soothing...

01:47:15.000 Yeah, if they were trying to sell that fucker, it's not working.

01:47:19.000 That is the least soothing way to say no one's gonna steal the chip.

01:47:24.000 No, they would have to cut it out of you.

01:47:27.000 It would involve mutilation.

01:47:29.000 Holy fuck.

01:47:31.000 Imagine.

01:47:32.000 No one mutilates.

01:47:34.000 Don't worry.

01:47:34.000 It's totally safe.

01:47:36.000 No one's ever mutilated.

01:47:37.000 It's not like...

01:47:38.000 They don't even have a really good reason for you to do it.

01:47:41.000 Of course they don't.

01:47:42.000 It's just like to use copy machines.

01:47:43.000 Open doors.

01:47:45.000 Use the copy machine?

01:47:47.000 How about I just press fucking copy?

01:47:50.000 How about I press start, boss?

01:47:54.000 You can't put a fucking chip in me, bitch.

01:47:56.000 What if that chip rots?

01:47:57.000 What happens if you play rugby and the chip breaks inside your arm?

01:48:01.000 It says you can take it out just as easy as a splinter.

01:48:03.000 That's a lie.

01:48:04.000 But then it says me relation.

01:48:06.000 The chip is about this fucking big.

01:48:08.000 That's the biggest splinter I've seen.

01:48:10.000 That's hilarious.

01:48:12.000 Oh my god, they would just have to Bowie knife it out of you.

01:48:17.000 That's gotta be a fucking...

01:48:19.000 It probably is a Dark Mirror episode, right?

01:48:22.000 Is there one of those where someone gets a chip?

01:48:24.000 I think every episode of Black Mirror, they have a chip.

01:48:27.000 Yeah, they figured it out.

01:48:28.000 Black Mirror's figured out everything that's gonna happen, everything that's gonna go wrong.

01:48:32.000 You had the cloning thing earlier with that cloning episode that dude had, remember?

01:48:35.000 Where they had the space station team, like...

01:48:37.000 Oh, yes.

01:48:38.000 Yes.

01:48:39.000 Yes.

01:48:40.000 Yes.

01:48:41.000 Yes.

01:48:42.000 That was the one where the guy was the tyrant, right?

01:48:45.000 Yeah.

01:48:46.000 Fuck, that was a creepy one.

01:48:48.000 That was a creepy one.

01:48:51.000 I like the video game one where he goes stays at that old mansion and he just goes fucking nuts.

01:48:59.000 That's a good one.

01:49:01.000 How long before they're going to make an artificial Post Malone that looks just like you?

01:49:06.000 Sits right next to you.

01:49:08.000 Freaks you out.

01:49:09.000 Is he doing my shows?

01:49:10.000 No, he's got no talent.

01:49:13.000 He's a robot?

01:49:15.000 I think it's gonna be a long road before they figure out a way to make an artificial thing that's creative.

01:49:23.000 I think that might be the only thing we have.

01:49:25.000 Well, they try to make computers make music all the time.

01:49:28.000 It sucks.

01:49:29.000 There's something that we do, like we were talking about earlier, when you're doing something, we, I mean humans, that makes other people happy, That thing is hard to define.

01:49:44.000 It's hard to figure out with numbers.

01:49:46.000 Like, you listen to Eye of the Tiger, and you want to start running?

01:49:48.000 It's the Eye of the Tiger!

01:49:50.000 Like, what is that?

01:49:50.000 Let a computer fucking make that.

01:49:52.000 Can't make it.

01:49:53.000 There's no shot.

01:49:53.000 If you were a kid, when I was, when Rocky III came out, and that fucking song comes out, holy shit!

01:50:00.000 Come on, man.

01:50:05.000 What are my chances of the artificial postie sitting here while I take a piss?

01:50:09.000 Take a piss.

01:50:09.000 I knew.

01:50:10.000 I knew it was coming.

01:50:11.000 Go.

01:50:11.000 Go take a piss, bro.

01:50:13.000 We have plenty of time.

01:50:14.000 We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.

01:50:17.000 And this is sponsored by Necrogoblican.

01:50:20.000 We'll be right back.

01:50:22.000 Yeah, disc problems are no joke, man.

01:50:24.000 If you have bulging discs or herniated discs, you've got to take care of those.

01:50:29.000 What you definitely can't do is fuck them up worse.

01:50:32.000 Sure.

01:50:32.000 If you have a chance, do something.

01:50:35.000 They're real close to being able to fix that, too.

01:50:38.000 They're already replacing them.

01:50:39.000 They're replacing them with these titanium discs that move around.

01:50:42.000 They're not perfect, but it's better than having degenerative disc disease and having massive pain all the time.

01:50:50.000 And that's not something that I'm mad at.

01:50:56.000 What are you mad at?

01:50:57.000 A disc.

01:50:58.000 I'm mad at chips in your hands that you have to mutilate to get out.

01:51:03.000 Yeah, that's scary.

01:51:04.000 People totally do that.

01:51:06.000 But a piece of metal instead of a bone isn't harmful.

01:51:11.000 No.

01:51:12.000 Because there's no technology in that.

01:51:15.000 It's just a filler, right?

01:51:17.000 Right.

01:51:17.000 It's just something to replace something that's broken.

01:51:21.000 Right.

01:51:21.000 Like if your hand gets bitten off by a shark, and they say, listen, you have two options.

01:51:25.000 Right.

01:51:25.000 You can have no hand, or we'll make you a hand that looks exactly like your old hand, Luke Skywalker style.

01:51:31.000 Right.

01:51:32.000 When you put that on, you can feel with it and everything, but it just won't be a real hand.

01:51:34.000 No, I mean, that's totally fine, too, if it's controlled by your brain.

01:51:40.000 You wake up in the middle and it's choking you.

01:51:42.000 And see, that's the whole argument.

01:51:48.000 That could happen.

01:51:49.000 That could happen.

01:51:51.000 Come on, man.

01:51:52.000 Some Terminator shit.

01:51:53.000 How strong would your goddamn hand be if it was made out of metal and wires and shit?

01:51:59.000 Do you think you couldn't fight?

01:52:03.000 A robot?

01:52:04.000 No.

01:52:04.000 They'd fuck you up.

01:52:05.000 If you had a metal hand, you couldn't fight.

01:52:08.000 No, they wouldn't let you.

01:52:10.000 No.

01:52:11.000 No chance.

01:52:12.000 You can't have a metal thing.

01:52:13.000 That would be like the new argument.

01:52:16.000 Bone is hard as fuck.

01:52:18.000 Metal-handed people are people too, and they would want to enter into MMA and fuck people up with their iron arms.

01:52:25.000 Oh my god, that's that dude's, oh shit.

01:52:28.000 Bobby Gelder.

01:52:29.000 But he's got some, I just was looking, he had this crazy hook thing.

01:52:32.000 Oh, so he makes a bunch of different...

01:52:33.000 That's cool as hell.

01:52:34.000 Is that for climbing?

01:52:35.000 It doesn't say, I don't think.

01:52:37.000 So he has different prosthetics that he does different things with.

01:52:40.000 Yeah, no context for that.

01:52:41.000 I met him.

01:52:42.000 He's got a carbon fiber articulating hand and a carbon fiber leg.

01:52:47.000 He got attacked by a shark.

01:52:49.000 Is the hand controllable?

01:52:52.000 Yeah, he can move it like this.

01:52:54.000 With his nerves.

01:52:55.000 I don't know how it's hooked up.

01:52:57.000 Do you know how it's hooked up?

01:52:58.000 Nope.

01:52:58.000 I don't know if it's muscles.

01:53:02.000 Maybe he contracts it with his muscles.

01:53:05.000 That's the whole thing.

01:53:07.000 That's okay.

01:53:09.000 But if somebody gets...

01:53:12.000 It's like the self-driving car, right?

01:53:15.000 Right.

01:53:16.000 If there's a way for somebody to control that...

01:53:19.000 And it's not just your nerves or whatever controlling it.

01:53:23.000 Right.

01:53:25.000 Instead of it's hooked up to the cloud or something somewhere.

01:53:29.000 Like the fucking chip.

01:53:31.000 You know what I mean?

01:53:32.000 I do know what you mean.

01:53:33.000 Look, I've never played an acoustic guitar.

01:53:36.000 Right.

01:53:37.000 But I would imagine it's probably a pretty magical experience to play in like a really good guitar.

01:53:44.000 It's very visceral and satisfying.

01:53:48.000 That...

01:53:49.000 That analog, visceral, satisfying feeling of doing something, that exists in the car world, too.

01:53:56.000 If you're driving like a 1969 Porsche 911, those air-cooled cars, they weigh like 2,000 pounds, and it's a...

01:54:04.000 It's got this crazy weird mechanical sound to it.

01:54:07.000 Bro, there's a connection you have to that that you're not gonna get once you start adding technology.

01:54:13.000 All that shit's gone.

01:54:14.000 That weird thing, that very analog thing that you get from like...

01:54:20.000 It exists with looking at a painting.

01:54:24.000 It exists with listening to someone sing.

01:54:26.000 It exists with jokes.

01:54:29.000 There's a thing, man, when you can just fucking nail a thing that makes you feel.

01:54:34.000 Those cars make you feel better.

01:54:36.000 That's the difference.

01:54:38.000 An old car will make you feel better.

01:54:41.000 A new car's not going to do that.

01:54:43.000 A new car's going to be cool as fucking awesome, but it's not going to make you feel better.

01:54:48.000 There's something about...

01:54:50.000 Yeah, it feels good.

01:54:52.000 You feel better.

01:54:53.000 You're on a drug.

01:54:54.000 It's a very mild, amazing drug.

01:54:57.000 You're not going to get that off a spaceship that's autonomous.

01:55:00.000 You know, it's autonomously driving.

01:55:02.000 Yeah, and that's the whole deal.

01:55:06.000 It's like, you know...

01:55:12.000 There is technology that's helpful.

01:55:15.000 Technology does not go with the human body.

01:55:21.000 This is like organic.

01:55:23.000 Right.

01:55:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:55:25.000 Yes.

01:55:26.000 And like the chip, it's gonna go wrong sometimes.

01:55:34.000 For sure, it has to.

01:55:36.000 It's not like it's gonna be perfect.

01:55:37.000 All the people with the chip are 100% happy.

01:55:40.000 Yeah.

01:55:40.000 None of them got infections.

01:55:41.000 No mutilation.

01:55:41.000 Everybody was happy.

01:55:42.000 Nobody mutilated them.

01:55:43.000 There was no mutilation.

01:55:44.000 It was never so obvious.

01:55:46.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:55:47.000 Like, if you have to have a piece or a disc in your spine removed with a metal plate instead of a metal plate with a microchip in it, that's the total difference.

01:56:00.000 You know what I mean?

01:56:01.000 I do know what you mean.

01:56:03.000 But what if that microchip made you feel better?

01:56:06.000 What if they put that microchip in you and all of a sudden...

01:56:09.000 This is how I want you to look at it.

01:56:11.000 What it is, is essentially new software management of your body.

01:56:15.000 Your mind will stay the same, Post Malone, but your body will now be in control of this perfect system that's going to figure out what it needs and what it doesn't need, work it all out.

01:56:28.000 You just live your life.

01:56:29.000 You don't have to worry about your body anymore.

01:56:30.000 I've already seen too many movies about this.

01:56:32.000 Don't worry about your body.

01:56:33.000 I'm not into it.

01:56:33.000 It's fine.

01:56:35.000 Everything's going to be wonderful.

01:56:37.000 It's okay.

01:56:38.000 It is cool to be cyborg.

01:56:40.000 If you're living a shitty life, you're like, I fucking hate delivering for Postmates.

01:56:44.000 I hate fucking where I sleep.

01:56:46.000 I hate what I do.

01:56:48.000 I'm tired.

01:56:49.000 I don't want to do it anymore.

01:56:50.000 And then all of a sudden this little thing comes along and says, give control of your body to the state.

01:56:56.000 You'll still be the same inside your mind.

01:56:58.000 But our microchip will control all of your biology to the point where you no longer need to go to the doctor.

01:57:04.000 You don't need health insurance because you're never going to get sick.

01:57:08.000 Right.

01:57:09.000 One by one, people give in.

01:57:12.000 Interesting.

01:57:13.000 We'll get infected.

01:57:14.000 Interesting.

01:57:14.000 We'll get infected by technology.

01:57:15.000 Interesting.

01:57:18.000 Don't you think it's possible?

01:57:19.000 Most definitely.

01:57:20.000 But is it better?

01:57:21.000 Here's the thing.

01:57:21.000 Is it better if your grandma dies of cancer?

01:57:23.000 Or is it better if you have some technology that keeps you from ever getting any disease ever, but it's embedded inside your body?

01:57:32.000 And it's controlled by a team of scientists.

01:57:37.000 But it comes to...

01:57:38.000 I was watching something...

01:57:41.000 This robot can walk and swim.

01:57:43.000 So, it gets in your cells, makes its way through to your brain, and fucking explodes.

01:57:47.000 Jihad.

01:57:48.000 This is the craziest thing ever.

01:57:50.000 What they're willing to do today with technology and what they're experimenting on, what we're seeing in these videos is just a tiny amount of what's possible for them in the future.

01:58:03.000 I mean, they could Man, we could have insane technology of changing human bodies inside our lifetime.

01:58:14.000 You're in shape, right?

01:58:17.000 I try my best.

01:58:18.000 Me, not so much.

01:58:19.000 Do you ever want to be?

01:58:20.000 No.

01:58:21.000 Well, there you go then.

01:58:22.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm happy here.

01:58:24.000 As long as you're happy.

01:58:25.000 But like we were talking about earlier, it comes to, I guess, generation-wise.

01:58:30.000 Yes.

01:58:31.000 Because if you have to pantomime a cell phone, how do you do it?

01:58:37.000 You gotta do it like this.

01:58:38.000 Like this?

01:58:39.000 Yeah, flip phone.

01:58:40.000 But I saw a video.

01:58:43.000 Are they doing this now?

01:58:44.000 They're doing this.

01:58:45.000 Oh, okay.

01:58:46.000 That makes sense.

01:58:47.000 Because of the iPhone.

01:58:49.000 Yeah.

01:58:49.000 But we do it like this.

01:58:51.000 Yeah.

01:58:53.000 So, maybe later comes a time, because like I said, I will never drive a fully autonomous car.

01:59:04.000 But I'm sure there's someone years down the line that will be like, oh, fuck yeah.

01:59:10.000 Are you kidding me?

01:59:12.000 I think they're gonna do it because it's safer.

01:59:15.000 And I think that's why it's going to be really hard to get people to sign off on the idea of letting people drive their own cars.

01:59:21.000 It's a thing that we got really used to, that we only got used to for a little while.

01:59:25.000 I mean, there was no cars in 1700, and in the 2020s, everyone's got a fucking car.

01:59:31.000 They're everywhere.

01:59:32.000 So in that time period, we went from all of human history, no cars, to the invention of a car, whenever the fuck that was.

01:59:39.000 We figured that out once.

01:59:40.000 I think like 1800s or something.

01:59:42.000 The 1800s, they figured out the first car.

01:59:45.000 That's not that long.

01:59:46.000 And then we just decide, well, you have to have a car.

01:59:49.000 It's a basic human right.

01:59:50.000 You don't really have to have a car.

01:59:52.000 But cars are awesome.

01:59:54.000 Like, an old car is awesome.

01:59:55.000 You do need to have a car.

01:59:57.000 How are you going to get to your job?

01:59:59.000 Public transportation, if it's better.

02:00:01.000 But that's a car.

02:00:03.000 Well, not necessarily.

02:00:04.000 It could be like a tube where people fly through it.

02:00:07.000 It's all magnets on the other end to keep it from crashing into each other.

02:00:10.000 They could figure out some weird shit that has nothing to do with cars.

02:00:14.000 It's too late.

02:00:15.000 It's not totally too late.

02:00:16.000 I think if they could figure out a way to convince people that there will be no more auto accidents, that would be a good way to get people on board.

02:00:24.000 Right.

02:00:24.000 If they said no more auto accidents ever, people would probably be like, oh, well, how can you argue against that, you selfish fuck?

02:00:30.000 You want to shift through your own gears and kill my nana?

02:00:34.000 And that's what people are going to do.

02:00:36.000 They're going to give in to it because they don't want to be selfish.

02:00:39.000 I mean, this is like the slow slide into accepting that we're a part of technology.

02:00:44.000 Right.

02:00:44.000 The slow slide is us hanging on to our biology as much as possible.

02:00:48.000 I think that's a good thing.

02:00:50.000 I think biology's awesome.

02:00:51.000 But I see the writing on the wall.

02:00:53.000 I see where it's going.

02:00:54.000 Yeah, I mean, it's going away.

02:00:56.000 We're sliding into this new existence.

02:00:59.000 But we're real insistent on keeping our old ways.

02:01:02.000 It's real weird.

02:01:03.000 I know in terms of, like, I like to hear the rumble of an engine.

02:01:07.000 I'm one of those people.

02:01:08.000 I love a rumble of an engine.

02:01:09.000 Right.

02:01:12.000 I don't want to backtrack too much, but I have been.

02:01:16.000 But, at the end of the day, I would rather...

02:01:23.000 Be responsible for my decisions, I suppose.

02:01:25.000 Yes.

02:01:26.000 Well, you're an artist.

02:01:28.000 You know, just being an artist is a different kind of person.

02:01:33.000 It's a person who's chosen a path of doing whatever the fuck they want to do.

02:01:36.000 Like expressing themselves professionally.

02:01:38.000 Of course you don't want someone driving you.

02:01:40.000 It feels good to drive.

02:01:41.000 Yeah.

02:01:42.000 There's experiences that you get in life.

02:01:44.000 You want to feel them all.

02:01:46.000 You know, and some of them are dangerous.

02:01:48.000 Some of them come with consequences if you make a mistake.

02:01:50.000 That's how you get better.

02:01:51.000 If you take away all consequences, my concern is that we're going to just keep protecting ourselves more and [...

02:02:06.000 That's what I'm worried about with people.

02:02:09.000 Well, and that's what I say.

02:02:12.000 This is why I would rather drive my own car is because like...

02:02:20.000 You never fully...

02:02:24.000 You wake up and you never know what's happening.

02:02:27.000 Right.

02:02:27.000 You never know what's going to happen during the day.

02:02:30.000 There's something good about that.

02:02:32.000 Yeah.

02:02:32.000 No, it's incredible.

02:02:33.000 But we're all people and...

02:02:39.000 I would rather have that be biological than...

02:02:47.000 A computer.

02:02:48.000 Yes.

02:02:49.000 Controlled.

02:02:50.000 And that's where I'm coming from, I suppose.

02:02:54.000 I'm with you.

02:02:56.000 I'm with you.

02:02:57.000 I see both sides of it.

02:02:58.000 I really do.

02:02:59.000 Right.

02:02:59.000 I'm not on a particular side of it.

02:03:02.000 Right.

02:03:02.000 Because I think what all of us are doing is witnessing these changes happening in real time and trying to hold on to whatever ground we have that we think is important and sacred.

02:03:13.000 I think that's one of the things we're doing where You know, people that ride motorcycles, they want to ride Harleys and loud engines, and it's romantic, it's exciting.

02:03:23.000 All those things I think are cool.

02:03:25.000 But I see the writing on the wall.

02:03:27.000 Like, a hundred years from now, it's all going to be autonomous.

02:03:31.000 There's going to be very few licenses that we give away to people to let them drive their own cars.

02:03:37.000 It's probably all going to be controlled by some central system that keeps you at a certain pace.

02:03:45.000 It's going to be annoying.

02:03:49.000 It's going to be annoying.

02:03:50.000 It's going to be just drive to work.

02:03:52.000 No more fun anymore.

02:03:53.000 Before, it's like if you worked at a job and you had a 68 Camaro and you drove your 68 Camaro to work, while you're driving down the street listening to Whitesnake, here I go again on my own.

02:04:06.000 And you're driving this fucking thing and you're shifting your own gears.

02:04:10.000 That guy's having a good-ass time.

02:04:12.000 And someone can come along, take that away, and say, no, no, no, you have to get in the autonomous tube now.

02:04:17.000 Because safety, safety's important.

02:04:20.000 So this poor fucking dude who looked forward to his drive to work.

02:04:24.000 He had a 20-minute drive to work, but during that 20 minutes, he listened to all the music he wanted to listen to.

02:04:30.000 He listened to whatever the fuck he wanted.

02:04:32.000 And then he pulled into that and shh...

02:04:35.000 Pulled into that fucking parking spot, shut his car off.

02:04:37.000 Now he's gotta go to work.

02:04:39.000 But he knows that in eight hours he'll be free and fire that car up again.

02:04:43.000 Right.

02:04:44.000 Shift his own gears.

02:04:46.000 Drive home.

02:04:46.000 Listen to the best tunes.

02:04:48.000 Call your friends.

02:04:49.000 Woo!

02:04:50.000 Right.

02:04:50.000 You gonna take that away from him?

02:04:52.000 You gonna take that part away?

02:04:54.000 A person who really understands the fun of cars?

02:04:56.000 What about an attack?

02:04:59.000 An attack?

02:05:00.000 What kind of attack?

02:05:02.000 Like...

02:05:04.000 The ability to escape?

02:05:06.000 No, you think about you pull out your debit card, right?

02:05:11.000 And all of a sudden, no one's debit card works.

02:05:15.000 Oh yeah, right?

02:05:16.000 What's gonna stop that from happening?

02:05:19.000 What do you do with no money?

02:05:22.000 There's only 3% that's real cash.

02:05:25.000 That's real, like, palpable...

02:05:28.000 So if everybody wanted all the paper for all the money they have in the bank, we would never be able to do it?

02:05:33.000 If everybody's debit card stopped working, it would fucking...

02:05:37.000 How much cash is there out there, right?

02:05:39.000 I have no idea.

02:05:40.000 But how much cash is there out there now in comparison to, like, the 80s when there was only cash?

02:05:46.000 Is it the same amount of cash out there?

02:05:47.000 It's probably the same amount.

02:05:49.000 But most people use credit cards now, right?

02:05:51.000 Like, way more.

02:05:52.000 Yeah, but think about, if we had an enemy that wanted to say, or even our own government, that's just like, all technology,

02:06:08.000 monetary-wise, is cut off.

02:06:12.000 Yeah, they just killed the system.

02:06:13.000 They just stopped it all.

02:06:15.000 No more banks.

02:06:16.000 No more banking.

02:06:16.000 No more ATMs.

02:06:18.000 What are you going to do?

02:06:20.000 You don't have any money.

02:06:21.000 Nobody has any money.

02:06:23.000 You can't buy food.

02:06:23.000 You can't buy anything.

02:06:24.000 So you have to steal and then...

02:06:25.000 All your money is locked up.

02:06:28.000 How much U.S. currency is in circulation?

02:06:30.000 About 2 trillion.

02:06:31.000 As of July 8th, 2020. 1.3 trillion.

02:06:35.000 Look, how much...

02:06:37.000 How much is...

02:06:40.000 Out there.

02:06:41.000 How much money is out there?

02:06:42.000 How do we differentiate what is...

02:06:45.000 Like, digital money?

02:06:46.000 Right.

02:06:47.000 And what is actual money?

02:06:49.000 Good point.

02:06:49.000 There's 1.3 trillion accounted for, but how much of it is in actual paper cash, right?

02:06:54.000 Yeah.

02:06:55.000 Yeah.

02:06:56.000 And what is paper cash even worth?

02:06:58.000 Depends on where you're at, right?

02:07:02.000 Some people don't even want it.

02:07:04.000 Some restaurants are like, no, we don't take cash.

02:07:06.000 Yeah.

02:07:07.000 They're like, whoa.

02:07:07.000 You do the...

02:07:08.000 Yeah.

02:07:09.000 It's a thing they flip it around.

02:07:11.000 It says, uh, according to the CIA, the total amount of broad money is 80 trillion dollars.

02:07:20.000 Whoa.

02:07:21.000 And cash was?

02:07:23.000 1.2 trillion.

02:07:26.000 So 1.9 trillion is actual cash and all the rest of it is just bullshit.

02:07:31.000 It's bullshit!

02:07:32.000 It's fucking ethereal!

02:07:35.000 It's fucking nowhere.

02:07:37.000 It doesn't exist.

02:07:38.000 There's not a vault you can go in like a fucking Guy Ritchie movie.

02:07:41.000 Imagine where we're at war with a country and then they have the best hackers or whatever.

02:07:52.000 This is all hypothetical.

02:07:54.000 But you go to swipe your card and it doesn't work.

02:07:58.000 And then everybody in America goes to swipe their card and it doesn't work.

02:08:02.000 Who?

02:08:04.000 And then you find out the goblin lead singer of that band was a real goblin!

02:08:12.000 It's a real goblin!

02:08:15.000 And he's eating people the same way that centipede eats mice.

02:08:18.000 Gets right in the back of their head and climbs into their fucking skull.

02:08:22.000 That's a terrible video.

02:08:23.000 That's a terrible video.

02:08:24.000 I know, it's a horrible video.

02:08:25.000 It's pretty brutal.

02:08:26.000 It is so brutal, and that's what's normal.

02:08:28.000 That's normal out there.

02:08:29.000 We've figured out a way to wall it off.

02:08:32.000 That's what it is.

02:08:33.000 All day long.

02:08:34.000 It's things eating things.

02:08:35.000 Right.

02:08:35.000 It's fucking chaos.

02:08:36.000 Yeah.

02:08:37.000 Things eat things, that's true.

02:08:39.000 The ocean.

02:08:39.000 The ocean is one giant murder soup.

02:08:42.000 That's all it is.

02:08:43.000 Just monster murder soup.

02:08:45.000 A bunch of fucking things killing each other.

02:08:47.000 How do you feel about whales?

02:08:48.000 I love them.

02:08:49.000 I think they're cool.

02:08:50.000 I've been around them.

02:08:51.000 I've never seen one in my whole life.

02:08:54.000 You should go to Hawaii.

02:08:55.000 I think it's around...

02:08:58.000 I want to say it's around November-ish.

02:09:00.000 Find out when the whales go near...

02:09:02.000 I've seen them near the Big Island on one of them cruises they take you out.

02:09:06.000 I've seen them a couple times accidentally while fishing from Maui, but I've seen them on the Big Island where you go out on a boat ride.

02:09:13.000 Humpback whale season on the Hawaiian Islands.

02:09:14.000 Yeah, between November and early May.

02:09:16.000 But some months are better than others.

02:09:18.000 So it's cool, man.

02:09:19.000 So you're in this boat, and then as you're out there, you just see one break the surface.

02:09:23.000 And then they, you know, lean towards that area.

02:09:26.000 And sometimes you see them swim under the boat.

02:09:29.000 It's incredible.

02:09:29.000 They're so big, man.

02:09:31.000 They don't even seem real.

02:09:32.000 They're the biggest creatures on the planet.

02:09:34.000 Yeah.

02:09:35.000 Currently.

02:09:35.000 Yeah, they're the biggest creatures.

02:09:36.000 Blue whales are, right?

02:09:37.000 The biggest?

02:09:38.000 I saw something that said ever.

02:09:39.000 Sperm whales, maybe?

02:09:40.000 Blue whale, biggest thing ever.

02:09:42.000 Ever?

02:09:44.000 Wow.

02:09:45.000 They're so big, dude.

02:09:46.000 That's a fucking dinosaur.

02:09:49.000 How long have they been around?

02:09:50.000 Like, they didn't get killed by the Yucatan blast, right?

02:09:53.000 Aren't they something that's millions of years old?

02:09:55.000 Maybe not that many million.

02:09:57.000 Maybe that's what it is.

02:09:58.000 Like, when you think about dolphins and how fucking intelligent they are, how long have they been around?

02:10:04.000 Here we go.

02:10:07.000 173 tons.

02:10:08.000 Oh my god.

02:10:09.000 Oh my fucking god.

02:10:11.000 29.9 meters, which is 100 feet long.

02:10:14.000 It's basically 100 feet long.

02:10:17.000 And weighed 173 tons.

02:10:19.000 Known to have ever existed.

02:10:22.000 Oh my god.

02:10:23.000 An adult weighs 330,000 pounds.

02:10:26.000 And they live 90 fucking years.

02:10:29.000 They live 90 years.

02:10:31.000 And they're smart.

02:10:32.000 That's what's weird.

02:10:34.000 We don't, you know, they take care of their young.

02:10:37.000 They're smart.

02:10:39.000 They're some weird mammal.

02:10:42.000 But then there's orcas.

02:10:45.000 Orcas are their cousins to dolphins.

02:10:47.000 That's the ones we love, right?

02:10:49.000 We love killer whales.

02:10:49.000 But they murder dolphins.

02:10:51.000 They murder whales.

02:10:53.000 They're the murderers of the ocean.

02:10:55.000 They're the kings.

02:10:56.000 Killer whales.

02:10:56.000 Yeah.

02:10:57.000 But they call them killer whales.

02:10:58.000 They're not a whale.

02:11:00.000 They're a dolphin.

02:11:01.000 Orcas are dolphins.

02:11:03.000 Yeah.

02:11:04.000 They call them killer whales because they kill whales.

02:11:06.000 So do they have sex for fun?

02:11:09.000 I don't know if they do.

02:11:10.000 Orcas.

02:11:11.000 That's a good question.

02:11:11.000 Because dolphins do.

02:11:12.000 Because dolphins do.

02:11:13.000 That's a really good question.

02:11:15.000 Let's find out.

02:11:16.000 Yeah.

02:11:16.000 Do orcas have recreational sex?

02:11:20.000 Casual.

02:11:21.000 Or sex for fun.

02:11:22.000 Do orcas have casual sex?

02:11:23.000 Sex for fun, you'll probably get a better article.

02:11:27.000 You'll get someone who's got a sense of humor.

02:11:30.000 Google do orcas fuck for fun.

02:11:32.000 You'll get the best article.

02:11:36.000 Got anything?

02:11:37.000 It gets weirder.

02:11:38.000 I gotta get a better search here.

02:11:39.000 It's not giving me good results.

02:11:42.000 I wonder how much they know about them, you know?

02:11:45.000 I don't think they know about them the same way they know about dolphins.

02:11:49.000 Is there, because there's not a lot of them.

02:11:52.000 There's not as many as there used to be, that's for sure.

02:11:54.000 There's a real worry about the ones that are in the Pacific Northwest.

02:11:58.000 There's a pod around the Seattle area, I think, that for whatever reason doesn't want to eat anything other than Chinook salmon.

02:12:06.000 I think it's Chinook salmon.

02:12:07.000 And they're running out of salmon.

02:12:08.000 There's not as many salmon anymore, so these things are starving.

02:12:11.000 And so they're trying to reintroduce, like, the idea of getting them to eat, like, seals, sea lions, things like that, because other killer whales eat them all the time.

02:12:20.000 So you have this native pod of killer whales that's really struggling, and then you have these pods that are travelers.

02:12:27.000 They travel into the neighborhood, and they just fuck everything up.

02:12:29.000 They eat all the seals, they eat whatever they want.

02:12:32.000 They eat mammals, they eat fish, they eat whatever they want, and then they take off.

02:12:35.000 So they're only there for a little while.

02:12:36.000 But there's one pod, for whatever reason, just wants salmon.

02:12:39.000 How many is in the pod?

02:12:40.000 I don't know how many.

02:12:40.000 They're having a hard time keeping them active.

02:12:43.000 They're even thinking about releasing extra salmon into the water.

02:12:46.000 They've had a bunch of weird ideas of how to save them.

02:12:51.000 Jamie's Googling everything.

02:12:53.000 It says there's a lot of animals that have sex, not just for reproduction.

02:12:57.000 For sure, chimps do.

02:12:58.000 But it says they also masturbate, which I found in this article.

02:13:01.000 Hey!

02:13:02.000 How?

02:13:03.000 How?

02:13:04.000 I don't know.

02:13:04.000 It just says they do stuff when reproduction isn't their only...

02:13:07.000 On a rock?

02:13:09.000 Fuck a crab.

02:13:10.000 They call it masturbation.

02:13:11.000 It's crab rape.

02:13:13.000 Jesus Christ.

02:13:14.000 Oh, my God.

02:13:15.000 Imagine a killer whale's horn.

02:13:17.000 He's just rubbing up against you.

02:13:18.000 You're like, just finish.

02:13:19.000 Please.

02:13:20.000 A killer whale?

02:13:21.000 Just go ahead.

02:13:22.000 Don't kill me.

02:13:23.000 They get high with puffer fish, right?

02:13:24.000 Dolphins do?

02:13:25.000 Don't they, like, pass them around?

02:13:26.000 Yeah.

02:13:26.000 Yeah, dolphins do.

02:13:28.000 What?

02:13:28.000 There's stories of killer whales rescuing people when they fall off boats, which is really crazy.

02:13:33.000 Like, they've actually said killer whales have actually helped them.

02:13:37.000 It's weird.

02:13:38.000 Because they kill people in captivity, but only because they're, probably because they're tortured.

02:13:42.000 You know, they're living in a fucking swimming pool, a giant majestic ocean animal trapped in a prison for no reason, didn't do anything wrong.

02:13:50.000 Eventually they just start killing their trainers.

02:13:52.000 They just get pissed off.

02:13:55.000 Man.

02:13:57.000 Holy shit.

02:13:59.000 You guys are putting me on.

02:14:02.000 You say they...

02:14:04.000 They get high.

02:14:05.000 They use a toxic tougher fish.

02:14:08.000 That's fucking crazy.

02:14:09.000 They take a little toot and they pass it around.

02:14:13.000 The dolphin's expert, deliberate handling of the terrorized pufferfish implies that this is not their first time at the hallucinogenic rodeo.

02:14:23.000 What if a human smoked pufferfish?

02:14:28.000 You'll probably be dead in a second.

02:14:30.000 What's it like?

02:14:30.000 I don't know, but we don't have a face like that.

02:14:32.000 I would imagine a lot of shit a dolphin could do that you can't.

02:14:37.000 Swim.

02:14:37.000 It's got more poisonous...

02:14:39.000 Wow.

02:14:41.000 1200 times more poisonous than cyanide.

02:14:44.000 Enough toxin in one pufferfish to kill 30 adult humans.

02:14:48.000 And there is no known antidote.

02:14:51.000 Jesus Christ.

02:14:53.000 Meanwhile...

02:14:53.000 Only resulting in mutilation.

02:14:55.000 Dolphins are like, I'm just here to get high.

02:14:58.000 I got this.

02:14:59.000 You pussies don't know what you're doing.

02:15:00.000 How does that work?

02:15:02.000 I don't know.

02:15:03.000 I never knew that.

02:15:04.000 You know what's weird is that people want to eat them.

02:15:07.000 They're like a prized sushi meat because it's exciting.

02:15:14.000 You're eating something that if the chef fucks this up, you're dead.

02:15:17.000 Dolphins or pufferfish?

02:15:18.000 Pufferfish.

02:15:19.000 I don't think dolphins.

02:15:20.000 There's no dolphin sushi, is there?

02:15:21.000 I don't know.

02:15:22.000 There has to be something.

02:15:23.000 I like warm fish.

02:15:26.000 Warm fish?

02:15:27.000 Yeah.

02:15:27.000 Like cooked.

02:15:28.000 Yeah.

02:15:28.000 Baked.

02:15:29.000 Yeah, I hear you.

02:15:30.000 You're not a sushi guy?

02:15:31.000 Yeah.

02:15:32.000 Fugu, that's it right there.

02:15:35.000 No shit.

02:15:36.000 Yeah, so that is a...

02:15:38.000 It's a delicacy.

02:15:41.000 For whatever reason, people like the idea of eating something that might fucking kill them.

02:15:46.000 And it has to be expertly...

02:15:48.000 Top 10 most dangerous foods.

02:15:51.000 Served in paper-thin slices by expert chefs, the fugu combines luxury with high-stakes gamble.

02:15:56.000 The intestines, ovaries, and liver of fugu, or blowfish, contains a poison called tetrodot...

02:16:15.000 Tetrodotoxin, which is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.

02:16:19.000 This toxin is so potent that a lethal dose is smaller than the head of a pin.

02:16:26.000 A lethal dose, smaller than the head of a pin.

02:16:29.000 And a single fish is enough poison to kill 30 people because of the high risk.

02:16:33.000 Chefs must undergo two to three years of training to obtain a fugu preparing license.

02:16:40.000 And such expertise raises the price of fugu dishes up to $200.

02:16:44.000 What?

02:16:45.000 That's kind of cheap.

02:16:46.000 It's really cheap.

02:16:47.000 I think you might die.

02:16:50.000 Yeah.

02:16:50.000 They consume 10,000 tons of fugu fish every year.

02:16:53.000 Oh my god, they're so ballsy.

02:16:55.000 That's a warrior culture right there.

02:16:57.000 Fucking fugu fish.

02:17:00.000 Should we try it?

02:17:02.000 No!

02:17:03.000 I'll try it.

02:17:03.000 Bro, I don't want to be there when you die.

02:17:05.000 I clicked one.

02:17:06.000 I wanted to see what other foods were first.

02:17:08.000 The first food they listed.

02:17:10.000 Hot dogs?

02:17:12.000 Hot dogs are more dangerous than fugu fish?

02:17:14.000 It says people choke on them.

02:17:15.000 Oh, please.

02:17:16.000 Oh, my God.

02:17:18.000 70% of food-related asphyxiations in those younger than 10 are caused from hot dogs.

02:17:22.000 What?

02:17:23.000 I understand little kids and the parents don't know how to do the Heimlich, but there's a certain age where you're on your own if you choke to death on a hot dog.

02:17:30.000 There's a certain age.

02:17:32.000 Like, hey, man.

02:17:33.000 Do you know how to give yourself a Heimlich?

02:17:35.000 Because I don't.

02:17:36.000 You gotta throw yourself on the end of a chair.

02:17:38.000 I don't know if it will work, but that's what you gotta do.

02:17:41.000 What is it?

02:17:42.000 Find a chair and throw your body on it.

02:17:46.000 Chuck the food out of your mouth.

02:17:47.000 You don't just like...

02:17:49.000 Maybe.

02:17:51.000 Yeah, just kind of like...

02:17:53.000 Maybe.

02:17:54.000 Like in an upwards motion.

02:17:56.000 You get behind someone and you force it, right?

02:17:59.000 You force the air out.

02:18:03.000 So what the fuck do you do?

02:18:04.000 Do you have to get them bending forward?

02:18:06.000 You do, right?

02:18:06.000 So that the food, when it pops out, doesn't fall right back in their hole.

02:18:12.000 Right?

02:18:12.000 Actually, it says so far.

02:18:14.000 I'm like, it should be a fist.

02:18:15.000 Yeah, punch yourself right in an upward motion.

02:18:18.000 I'll show you.

02:18:19.000 I'll make sure what it says to do.

02:18:20.000 But it says do both.

02:18:21.000 Do the chair is the best way to do it.

02:18:22.000 Yeah, the chair is good.

02:18:23.000 Oh, okay.

02:18:24.000 So this guy slammed his hand.

02:18:26.000 Oh, it's like a gable grip.

02:18:28.000 Like you're trying to take someone down.

02:18:30.000 Slam it into your...

02:18:32.000 Okay, so right where your solar plexus is.

02:18:35.000 You gotta be careful.

02:18:35.000 But what kind of chair?

02:18:37.000 There's so many different kinds of chairs.

02:18:39.000 Well, hey, if you're choking, you gotta find the closest one, I think.

02:18:41.000 I heard that people break ribs doing this all the time.

02:18:44.000 Makes sense.

02:18:46.000 And then CPR, people break ribs doing that, too.

02:18:48.000 Makes sense.

02:18:49.000 You're pushing on the ribs, trying to get someone to breathe.

02:18:53.000 Trying to get that food out of their stomach, that fucking hot dog.

02:18:56.000 What if the chair's like a throne, like a cool vampire throne, and it's sharp on the top?

02:19:03.000 Then you're gonna impale yourself.

02:19:05.000 Yeah, don't do that.

02:19:06.000 That's when you do the fist.

02:19:07.000 Don't do the Heimlich when you're near a vampire throne.

02:19:12.000 It's fucking life lessons here.

02:19:16.000 Yeah.

02:19:17.000 You ever see that Gary Oldman Dracula movie?

02:19:19.000 Uh-uh.

02:19:20.000 Dude, that's a classic.

02:19:22.000 With Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves.

02:19:25.000 You ever see that?

02:19:26.000 Before we got too far, a picture of Henry Heimlich, the guy who invented it, popped up.

02:19:31.000 No shit.

02:19:32.000 He came up with it in 1974 when it was promoted, so what the fuck did people do before that?

02:19:36.000 Died.

02:19:37.000 They only had been doing it for like 50 years.

02:19:39.000 Stabbed themselves with a fucking vampire throne.

02:19:42.000 That's crazy.

02:19:44.000 Wow.

02:19:45.000 I'm sure there was something, but like...

02:19:46.000 Wow.

02:19:47.000 The Self-Heimlich Maneuver.

02:19:49.000 Maneuver.

02:19:50.000 Excuse me.

02:19:50.000 A poem by Fred Payton.

02:19:52.000 So there it is.

02:19:55.000 Heimlich Maneuver to dissolve.

02:19:57.000 Heimlich recommended standing behind the person, wrapping arms around...

02:20:02.000 What is that?

02:20:03.000 Nine?

02:20:03.000 What is that?

02:20:04.000 Around nine clasping hands?

02:20:05.000 What does that mean?

02:20:07.000 That's the and sign.

02:20:08.000 Oh, and.

02:20:08.000 Oh, and clasping hands.

02:20:11.000 I never know what that sign is called.

02:20:13.000 I know what it is.

02:20:14.000 I know it's and.

02:20:14.000 I know it's ampersand once you said it.

02:20:16.000 I can't spell it.

02:20:16.000 But if you said to me, what is that thing called, before you just said that, I'd be like, I don't know what the fuck that thing's called.

02:20:24.000 Yeah, I don't know how you would do it yourself.

02:20:25.000 You would lean forward, I guess, and just slam it in?

02:20:28.000 And how do you figure that out?

02:20:30.000 You don't want to die.

02:20:31.000 Do you just, like, choke yourself with, like, just eat steak, and then...

02:20:35.000 Purposely choke yourself?

02:20:37.000 Yeah.

02:20:38.000 And then, like, well, fuck, it's gotta work.

02:20:40.000 I think someone probably did it one time, and then the other went...

02:20:43.000 Ah.

02:20:44.000 The other people went, that's what you do.

02:20:46.000 Write that down.

02:20:46.000 But Heimlich, I didn't...

02:20:48.000 You said 1972?

02:20:52.000 74. 74?

02:20:54.000 Jesus Christ.

02:20:54.000 I figured that would have been around for years.

02:20:58.000 Yeah, right?

02:20:59.000 Hundreds of years.

02:21:01.000 People just thought demons were taking you when you're choking on food.

02:21:06.000 Demons!

02:21:06.000 They put them in the fucking witch jail.

02:21:10.000 The witch jail.

02:21:12.000 Demons!

02:21:15.000 Possessed grasshoppers.

02:21:16.000 My little Billy was a good boy.

02:21:18.000 And the demons came.

02:21:21.000 And they took him while I was eating hot dogs.

02:21:26.000 17%.

02:21:27.000 He was fine.

02:21:28.000 There was nothing wrong with him.

02:21:29.000 Hot dogs is the most dangerous food?

02:21:31.000 That's crazy.

02:21:32.000 More than fugu.

02:21:33.000 That's how much better Japanese people are at being humans than Americans.

02:21:38.000 We die from hot dogs.

02:21:39.000 They don't even die from this fucking super toxic thing where one drop the head of a pin could kill a whole human being.

02:21:46.000 They don't even die.

02:21:47.000 That doesn't measure out to me though, by the way.

02:21:50.000 Okay.

02:21:51.000 There's enough poison.

02:21:53.000 Right.

02:21:54.000 In a puffer fish to kill 30 humans, but one pin drop is a lethal dose.

02:22:02.000 Yeah, they have a very small amount of poison, I guess.

02:22:04.000 The policy before this was slapping somebody on the back.

02:22:08.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:08.000 And it took until, like, 1970 when this guy was, like, researching this to found out that it actually pushed the food further back down.

02:22:14.000 So the Red Cross had to have, like, a do not allow anyone to slap you on your back if you're choking and try to dislodge food.

02:22:20.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:21.000 And then, like, he said he read an article, Dr. Heimlich, about people dying.

02:22:25.000 It was the sixth most leading cause of death.

02:22:28.000 So he's, like, starting to figure it out.

02:22:30.000 It's pretty crazy.

02:22:30.000 What a wizard he is.

02:22:32.000 It makes sense with hot dogs, though, because you get to bite off those chunks, you know?

02:22:37.000 Like, it's so easy to bite off, and if you're a glutton, or if you just make a mistake, and you just bite off too big a piece, and you think you're alright, and you're like...

02:22:46.000 What's the fucking solution there, though?

02:22:51.000 Heimlich maneuver.

02:22:53.000 Vampire thrones.

02:22:54.000 Obviously.

02:22:55.000 Bro.

02:22:57.000 When you look at how many people have died from choking, ever.

02:23:00.000 That's why he was looking it up.

02:23:02.000 It was like in one year 6,000 people died.

02:23:04.000 You never hear about it unless it was someone famous.

02:23:06.000 It's like Kennedy's sister-in-law or someone died of choking on meat.

02:23:10.000 Oh really?

02:23:12.000 Wow.

02:23:13.000 I think I've only been in one dire choking situation.

02:23:17.000 What happened?

02:23:18.000 I was at dinner with my family at our house and I took a bite of steak and It just clogged me up.

02:23:31.000 Fuck.

02:23:32.000 My uncle gave me the Heimlich maneuver.

02:23:34.000 Shout out to, uh, what's his name?

02:23:37.000 Heimlich.

02:23:37.000 Henry Heimlich.

02:23:39.000 Shout out to old Henry.

02:23:40.000 Henry Heimlich, yeah.

02:23:41.000 Thanks, Henry.

02:23:43.000 Have you ever been in a dire choking situation?

02:23:47.000 No, not really.

02:23:48.000 I've definitely been choking at points, like I've had something like, but I either threw it up or something.

02:23:55.000 Never where I thought this was it, I'm gonna die.

02:23:58.000 I had- it's terrifying.

02:24:00.000 I can only imagine.

02:24:01.000 Have you been- you've been there.

02:24:07.000 Scary shit.

02:24:08.000 Freak out.

02:24:08.000 Just imagine enjoying a delicious piece of steak and then you're like, well fuck, it took a turn.

02:24:15.000 Yeah.

02:24:16.000 And now I'm dying.

02:24:17.000 And you could die if people around you don't know what the fuck to do.

02:24:20.000 You could die.

02:24:23.000 Henry Heimlich saved us all.

02:24:25.000 Yeah, you can't be timid with that Heimlich maneuver either.

02:24:28.000 You gotta really get after it.

02:24:30.000 Yeah, you gotta get after it because you might not have that much time.

02:24:33.000 How many of those you get?

02:24:36.000 Heimlich's?

02:24:36.000 How many times can you force it?

02:24:38.000 You know, I mean you could break someone's fucking ribs, too.

02:24:41.000 You have to think about that.

02:24:42.000 Yeah.

02:24:43.000 If you're doing like to an old lady and she's choking on something, you might kill her doing that.

02:24:47.000 Yeah.

02:24:48.000 Ugh.

02:24:49.000 Imagine your Nana.

02:24:50.000 She spits out the meat, but you killed her by giving her the Heimlich.

02:24:54.000 Fuck.

02:24:55.000 That's an insane situation.

02:24:57.000 Fuck.

02:24:59.000 Jesus Christ.

02:25:00.000 That has to happen.

02:25:01.000 Has to have happened.

02:25:02.000 Yeah.

02:25:03.000 How long can a human hold their breath?

02:25:06.000 Minutes.

02:25:06.000 Those free divers, they can do like seven minutes, I think.

02:25:10.000 That's a lie.

02:25:11.000 No, no, no.

02:25:12.000 They can do it.

02:25:14.000 Seven minutes?

02:25:15.000 Yeah, people have done more than that, but they've done it with weird oxygen assist things.

02:25:19.000 Criss Angel?

02:25:20.000 Not Criss Angel, but David Blaine.

02:25:22.000 He did some crazy number of minutes, but he did something to himself first, right?

02:25:28.000 It wasn't just...

02:25:29.000 Do you know what he did, Jamie?

02:25:30.000 When we were doing the podcast the other day, I was trying to look into it.

02:25:33.000 He...

02:25:34.000 I believe he just over oxygenated his body.

02:25:38.000 Somehow or another.

02:25:40.000 I believe, yeah, by just breathing it in and then not moving at all, so he didn't use any of it.

02:25:44.000 But he did like 17 minutes or something like that.

02:25:46.000 Yeah, something bonkers like that.

02:25:48.000 No shit.

02:25:49.000 17 minutes is like almost a TV show.

02:25:52.000 Yeah, that's an episode of Modern Family.

02:25:54.000 Yeah, I think it's 22 minutes from Modern Family.

02:25:58.000 Yeah, because of ads.

02:26:00.000 That's nuts.

02:26:02.000 That's a long fucking time to hold your breath, David.

02:26:06.000 So how do you over-oxygenate, Jake?

02:26:09.000 He has a TED talk about it, I'm sure.

02:26:11.000 He probably explained a lot of it, but he had to get his heart rate down.

02:26:14.000 He did it once in It didn't work, and he panicked.

02:26:18.000 They had to go and save him.

02:26:19.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:26:19.000 It was a whole thing because it wasn't easy to get in there towards the thing he did it, but he did it again.

02:26:24.000 There's just something about a dude like him that's willing to do shit that you would be like, wait, why are you even doing this?

02:26:32.000 How can you do it?

02:26:33.000 And why are you doing this?

02:26:34.000 Remember when he was encased in ice?

02:26:37.000 Mm-mm.

02:26:38.000 Yeah, he was encased in ice for a long-ass time.

02:26:41.000 It's a good angle.

02:26:42.000 How long was he encased in ice for?

02:26:45.000 I want to say more than 24 hours.

02:26:46.000 I think it was a long time because there was one thing he did in New York City where people could come up and see him.

02:26:51.000 He was in a water tank.

02:26:54.000 What?

02:26:55.000 What?

02:26:58.000 71?

02:27:00.000 What's in the box?

02:27:01.000 What's in the box?

02:27:02.000 Grab me one of those motherfuckers, too.

02:27:05.000 Thanks, Dad.

02:27:07.000 Thank you, sir.

02:27:08.000 My pleasure.

02:27:10.000 What's in the box?

02:27:12.000 No, no, no.

02:27:15.000 How did he do it?

02:27:18.000 70 plus hours in frozen ice.

02:27:21.000 So this them taking him out?

02:27:23.000 Is this the end?

02:27:24.000 This was getting ready for it.

02:27:25.000 Oh, shut the fuck up.

02:27:27.000 He lived in that for 72 hours.

02:27:31.000 Lenny Kravitz?

02:27:32.000 Lenny Kravitz is like, how is he doing this?

02:27:33.000 I need to be there.

02:27:36.000 That's how badass it is when you just stand still for 72 hours.

02:27:40.000 Lenny Kravitz comes to visit you.

02:27:42.000 Lenny Kravitz is like, yo, this guy's fucking crazy.

02:27:45.000 I love it.

02:27:46.000 Lenny Kravitz lives on a farm in Brazil and he finds out that you're doing some crazy shit in ice and he shows up.

02:27:52.000 Like, I need to see this.

02:27:54.000 I need to be there live.

02:27:55.000 He's been on top of a pole for a really long time.

02:27:57.000 Of course, you know, I've seen something like this before.

02:28:01.000 I don't know if it was David Blaine, but...

02:28:04.000 Monks do it and they have a way to like slow down their metabolism so they can be up there for weeks and not eat and not drink anything.

02:28:18.000 What does it say about 34 hours?

02:28:20.000 He stood up there for 34 hours before jumping down.

02:28:22.000 Oh, shut the fuck up.

02:28:23.000 He stood on that pole like that for 34 hours?

02:28:27.000 80 feet.

02:28:28.000 Oh my god, I don't like this.

02:28:30.000 You seen him eat glass?

02:28:36.000 That's so weird.

02:28:38.000 That's such a weird thing to do.

02:28:40.000 Eat glass or stand on a pole?

02:28:42.000 All those things.

02:28:43.000 Eat glass, stand up there.

02:28:44.000 He's up there on that pole covered in ice eating glass for three years.

02:28:52.000 That's a different kind of person, right?

02:28:54.000 The art in that is that we know it's really hard to do and there's no way to fake it.

02:28:59.000 Right.

02:28:59.000 No, it's like...

02:29:00.000 It's crazy.

02:29:01.000 It's not like illusion.

02:29:02.000 No.

02:29:03.000 It's like mental fucking fortitude.

02:29:07.000 Yeah.

02:29:07.000 So he does illusions too, right?

02:29:09.000 Right.

02:29:09.000 He's a real magician.

02:29:10.000 Right.

02:29:10.000 Magician.

02:29:11.000 But also can do that.

02:29:13.000 Like, that's just a mind.

02:29:15.000 That's just...

02:29:15.000 That's a different kind of mind.

02:29:17.000 Yeah.

02:29:17.000 Stand there for 34 hours on a pole...

02:29:19.000 He'd probably be a good fighter.

02:29:22.000 He'd probably be a main fighter.

02:29:22.000 He would never tap out.

02:29:24.000 Have you seen this one where he puts a live frog in his belly and spits it back out alive?

02:29:29.000 Did they x-ray him?

02:29:30.000 Is that an x-ray?

02:29:31.000 He has all the frogs?

02:29:32.000 That's a picture for a thumbnail.

02:29:35.000 It's clickbait!

02:29:36.000 I don't think you can really take that picture.

02:29:37.000 Is that the sun?

02:29:39.000 Oh my god.

02:29:40.000 Imagine if they did it.

02:29:41.000 We gotta x-ray the frogs first.

02:29:42.000 Okay, okay.

02:29:43.000 I'll let them out in a couple minutes.

02:29:45.000 First they do the x-ray.

02:29:47.000 See, nothing but frogs.

02:29:48.000 No organs.

02:29:50.000 It's just frogs.

02:29:50.000 That's such a bad x-ray.

02:29:52.000 You look remotely real.

02:29:55.000 So your x-rays came back.

02:29:57.000 How come the frogs are so clear but you don't see anything else?

02:30:03.000 Oh, it's so stupid.

02:30:05.000 It's so stupid.

02:30:07.000 You ever shot the Boring Company flamethrower?

02:30:11.000 Yeah, we ran out of juice.

02:30:12.000 It doesn't have any juice anymore.

02:30:13.000 We've got to refill the...

02:30:14.000 What is it?

02:30:16.000 Propane?

02:30:16.000 I think it's just propane.

02:30:17.000 Yeah, we've got to refill the propane.

02:30:18.000 Oh man, they got a fucking Rhino at the fucking gas station.

02:30:22.000 They got it everywhere.

02:30:24.000 Hook that fucker up to a fucking tank.

02:30:28.000 I know, right?

02:30:29.000 Yeah, we just gotta hook it up.

02:30:30.000 But the thing is, it's the perfect amount of propane because it's not very big.

02:30:34.000 You know, you see the tank's very small.

02:30:36.000 Elon probably blew half of it out just showing it to me.

02:30:40.000 He's crazy.

02:30:42.000 Right out there in the hallway, just blowing this fire.

02:30:45.000 Fuck yeah.

02:30:47.000 This flamethrower.

02:30:49.000 In the middle of the hallway.

02:30:50.000 I'm like, bro!

02:30:52.000 Hi!

02:30:53.000 That's how I met him.

02:30:55.000 I met him.

02:30:56.000 He comes in with a flamethrower.

02:30:59.000 Legitimately.

02:31:00.000 He's the sweetest guy.

02:31:01.000 Very, very nice guy.

02:31:02.000 Sweetest guy.

02:31:03.000 Yeah.

02:31:04.000 Hurts me to the core that him and Johnny Depp want to duke it out.

02:31:08.000 What's the beef?

02:31:09.000 They're both nice guys.

02:31:10.000 There was a woman involved.

02:31:12.000 You know how it is.

02:31:13.000 Oh.

02:31:14.000 The Amber Heard, Johnny's ex-wife, was involved with Elon, apparently, at one point in time.

02:31:19.000 So they don't like each other.

02:31:21.000 They would love each other if they knew each other.

02:31:22.000 I'm out of the game.

02:31:23.000 Yeah, me too.

02:31:24.000 I live in Utah.

02:31:25.000 I just...

02:31:26.000 I'm telling you.

02:31:27.000 There he goes, pulls it up.

02:31:28.000 Conor McGregor.

02:31:29.000 Conor McGregor's coach offers to train Elon Musk for a fight with Johnny Depp.

02:31:31.000 Hey, where did Conor McGregor come into this?

02:31:34.000 Well, which one of his coaches is that?

02:31:38.000 Is it Kavanaugh?

02:31:40.000 Because he has a bunch of coaches.

02:31:43.000 It is Kavanaugh?

02:31:45.000 Of course he would.

02:31:49.000 Kavanaugh's cool.

02:31:51.000 I don't think they're going to fight though.

02:31:54.000 Is that a real thing?

02:31:55.000 No.

02:31:56.000 It was a joke that Elon apparently said at one point in time, maybe I should have a cage fight with him.

02:32:02.000 Like, LOL. You know, like that kind of thing.

02:32:04.000 Because he was upset at him or something.

02:32:08.000 You know, that's how it comes.

02:32:12.000 What are you going to do?

02:32:12.000 I don't know.

02:32:14.000 Everybody's fighting.

02:32:16.000 Not everybody, but when those kind of fights happen, you're like, ah, I see what happened here.

02:32:20.000 This is not complicated math.

02:32:22.000 You know?

02:32:23.000 Two good guys.

02:32:24.000 I'm so out of the loop.

02:32:26.000 It's crazy, too.

02:32:27.000 Everybody's mad.

02:32:28.000 Good.

02:32:29.000 It's good to be out of the loop.

02:32:30.000 I think it's really wise that you live out there.

02:32:32.000 I really do.

02:32:33.000 I agree.

02:32:33.000 Because you're so wild.

02:32:34.000 For a dude like you, it's good to be in a place where you see nature and it's probably, in a way, it's balancing.

02:32:42.000 There's something about the Utah mountains too.

02:32:47.000 That's a real mountain range.

02:32:49.000 Yeah.

02:32:49.000 You see that shit all the time when you drive around Utah.

02:32:52.000 It's very humbling.

02:32:54.000 It's incredible.

02:32:55.000 It's just like you're a fucking dot on the fucking entire globe.

02:33:02.000 Also, it's like natural art.

02:33:05.000 When you see mountains, they're natural art.

02:33:07.000 If you drive through the mountains, it's like you're seeing an art gallery.

02:33:11.000 It's beautiful to look at.

02:33:13.000 And it's free.

02:33:13.000 Yeah.

02:33:14.000 It does something to you.

02:33:16.000 It excites you in a weird way.

02:33:18.000 You can see a waterfall coming off the side of a mountain and everything's lush and green.

02:33:23.000 You see it go into a flowing river.

02:33:24.000 Man, that does a thing to your body.

02:33:27.000 It does a thing to your brain.

02:33:28.000 It lights everything up.

02:33:29.000 And that's the best, especially for making music.

02:33:32.000 Oh.

02:33:33.000 That makes sense.

02:33:34.000 Especially for making music, because it's just like, without sounding corny, it's like you feel like you're a part of something bigger, but you're so insignificant.

02:33:47.000 And then you can just say, I accept everything around me.

02:33:53.000 Yeah.

02:33:54.000 And I'm relaxed and I'm at peace.

02:33:58.000 You know, knowing that you're just...

02:34:02.000 The world's spinning around you and everything happens for a reason.

02:34:06.000 And you can just sit there 100% peace, at ease, and say, I don't have to worry.

02:34:13.000 Like I said earlier, LA, always something going on.

02:34:17.000 I couldn't do it.

02:34:20.000 And it definitely affected my creative process, for sure.

02:34:25.000 You mean like going out?

02:34:26.000 Yeah, there's always someone hitting you up.

02:34:30.000 I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone in LA or from LA, but there's a lot of people who kind of want to drain you.

02:34:42.000 Well, you know what it is, man?

02:34:43.000 It's not that they want to drain you.

02:34:45.000 What it is is they're greedy.

02:34:46.000 They're concentrating on themselves.

02:34:48.000 And when they're concentrating, they're trying to make it.

02:34:51.000 They're trying to get something happening.

02:34:52.000 And they're ambitious.

02:34:53.000 And they're self-centered in that way.

02:34:55.000 And I don't mean that as a pejorative, as a negative thing.

02:34:58.000 Just they're self-centered.

02:34:59.000 So they always want from you.

02:35:01.000 Right.

02:35:02.000 And so they're draining.

02:35:04.000 Like, and when you're successful, and you're a guy who's got a lot going on, they think there's a rub.

02:35:09.000 I gotta get to Post Malone and get that rub.

02:35:11.000 Right.

02:35:12.000 I gotta be able to somehow or another get what he's got.

02:35:14.000 Hey man, hit me up.

02:35:15.000 Hey, hey, I'm here.

02:35:16.000 Hey, hey, hey.

02:35:17.000 Let's do that thing.

02:35:18.000 Right.

02:35:18.000 Hey, hey, hey.

02:35:19.000 Right.

02:35:19.000 Hey, hey, hey.

02:35:20.000 Hey, let's go out.

02:35:21.000 Right.

02:35:21.000 Hey, hey, hey.

02:35:21.000 I want you to meet my friend.

02:35:22.000 Right.

02:35:22.000 Hey, hey, hey.

02:35:24.000 You're like, bro, I gotta make music.

02:35:27.000 I'm good at one thing, and that's using auto-tune to sing.

02:35:38.000 You gotta make that music!

02:35:41.000 I want you to hear some of the new shit.

02:35:44.000 I would love to.

02:35:45.000 I would love to.

02:35:47.000 What do you listen to?

02:35:48.000 Dude, I listen to a lot of shit.

02:35:50.000 I listen to most...

02:35:52.000 It varies.

02:35:53.000 I go on streaks of listening to...

02:35:57.000 I'll get in a gang star streak.

02:35:59.000 I'll listen to a lot of classic...

02:36:02.000 Run DMC for a while, and then I'll go into some old Zeppelin, and I'll get stuck on Zeppelin for months, and then I'll transfer over to some old Johnny Cash, and I'll get into that for a while, and then I'll get into a moody mode, and I'll need some Sheryl Crow in my life.

02:36:17.000 I'll listen to You're My Favorite Mistake.

02:36:19.000 I'll get into that kind of music, man.

02:36:21.000 I get into all kinds of shit.

02:36:24.000 I go into these waves, but most of the time, if you had to come in here on a whim and say, what kind of music's playing?

02:36:30.000 It's classic rock.

02:36:31.000 Almost always.

02:36:32.000 Rat.

02:36:33.000 Zeppelin.

02:36:34.000 No!

02:36:37.000 Nothing wrong with that.

02:36:39.000 Nothing wrong with that at all.

02:36:41.000 There's something about the 60s and the 70s.

02:36:43.000 There's something about the fact that these guys were breaking out of this mold that society had carved for them when they were children and here they are as adults in the 1960s and they are just buck wild.

02:36:57.000 How heavy is Sabbath?

02:36:59.000 Very heavy.

02:37:00.000 For, like, just imagine, like, vinyl.

02:37:06.000 Like, vinyl Sabbath.

02:37:08.000 And just, like, here's this record I just picked up from the store.

02:37:12.000 Let's spin that fucker and hope my parents don't hear it.

02:37:16.000 I'm 25, by the way.

02:37:18.000 I can't.

02:37:19.000 You probably listened to Sabbath on vinyl.

02:37:21.000 Well, I definitely have, but I wasn't the biggest Sabbath fan.

02:37:27.000 I liked a lot of shit that was embarrassing.

02:37:29.000 I was really into Kiss when it was embarrassing.

02:37:32.000 Kiss is great!

02:37:32.000 I love Kiss, but when I was a kid, it was a problem.

02:37:37.000 Other kids that found out you liked KISS are like, what?

02:37:41.000 Really?

02:37:42.000 Why?

02:37:42.000 Oh my god, for whatever reason.

02:37:44.000 KISS got a weird...

02:37:46.000 There's a weird thing that happened with KISS. This is what's interesting.

02:37:50.000 They didn't get any radio play.

02:37:51.000 A lot of people don't know this, but when I was a kid, Kiss got no radio play.

02:37:57.000 No radio play.

02:37:58.000 I don't know if it was because of politics or people just decided they suck because they wear masks or makeup rather.

02:38:04.000 I don't know what it was.

02:38:05.000 But for whatever reason, it was really hard to hear a Kiss song on the radio.

02:38:09.000 And every now and then you would hear, I want to rock and roll all night.

02:38:12.000 And you'd be like, what?

02:38:13.000 It's on the radio?

02:38:15.000 This is crazy.

02:38:16.000 What?

02:38:18.000 Wanna rock and roll?

02:38:19.000 Like you'd be in your car driving that would come on you'd be so excited because you were a Kiss fan and you don't the Kiss didn't get any love and then as we got older I think people started missing it and then Kiss made like reunion tours and they came back and put the makeup on again and people got excited and and Then people that were for whatever reason not Kiss fans in the past became Kiss fans in the present,

02:38:43.000 right?

02:38:44.000 But when I was in the 80s, it was like a problem.

02:38:48.000 If you love Kiss, people would mock you.

02:38:50.000 In the 80s?

02:38:51.000 Because that's like fucking Talica.

02:38:54.000 Yeah, that was Guns N' Roses too, man.

02:38:57.000 You know, that was, I believe Nirvana came out with Nevermind.

02:39:03.000 What was that, 89?

02:39:05.000 91?

02:39:06.000 Was it 91?

02:39:07.000 90?

02:39:08.000 That was around those years, you know?

02:39:12.000 And that just changed everything.

02:39:14.000 Like, Eddie Bravo, my friend Eddie, he's always saying, like, that's what killed hair bands.

02:39:18.000 Nirvana killed hair bands.

02:39:20.000 Yeah.

02:39:20.000 It just came out.

02:39:21.000 It was so deep.

02:39:21.000 You're like, Jesus Christ.

02:39:23.000 Like, you couldn't listen.

02:39:25.000 It was fucking heavy.

02:39:26.000 Heavy.

02:39:28.000 Heavy.

02:39:29.000 Rape Me?

02:39:30.000 Rape Me?

02:39:31.000 Heavy.

02:39:32.000 Singing a song called Rape Me?

02:39:34.000 Heavy.

02:39:35.000 Holy shit.

02:39:37.000 It's like...

02:39:41.000 What do you even do?

02:39:43.000 That song is so intense.

02:39:45.000 It's like if you could take a person's emotions and their soul and figure out how to transfer it into musical notes and sounds, that's what it sounded like.

02:39:58.000 I mean, that's what it fucking is.

02:40:02.000 It's like, fuck everything and here's what I'm gonna say.

02:40:07.000 Like, here it is.

02:40:08.000 Wish we could play this.

02:40:10.000 God damn, he's a bad motherfucker.

02:40:13.000 Dave Grohl crushes it.

02:40:14.000 All of them crush it.

02:40:15.000 Kurt crushes it.

02:40:16.000 That was cool during the Nirvana thing.

02:40:18.000 Did you watch my Nirvana thing?

02:40:19.000 No, I didn't.

02:40:20.000 What did you do with Nirvana?

02:40:21.000 We did a whole fundraiser.

02:40:25.000 When was this?

02:40:26.000 This was fucking two months ago.

02:40:33.000 I'm out of the loop.

02:40:35.000 Since COVID, there's a lot of shit I missed on.

02:40:38.000 I missed Evil Superman.

02:40:39.000 I missed everything.

02:40:40.000 You missed Evil Superman.

02:40:42.000 You misbullied Superman.

02:40:44.000 I did.

02:40:44.000 I missed it all.

02:40:45.000 Yeah, so we did a whole set.

02:40:48.000 And it was cool to see Dave give his approval and Travis Barker played drums.

02:40:54.000 That's amazing.

02:40:55.000 It was cool to see Chris, you know.

02:40:57.000 Travis was the first guy to come in here with face tattoos, but you knocked it out of the park.

02:41:01.000 Well, fuck, man.

02:41:02.000 Is that a good thing?

02:41:05.000 Travis is one of the sweetest motherfuckers in the world.

02:41:08.000 He's so cool.

02:41:09.000 He's like a genuinely cool guy.

02:41:12.000 Really interesting, like intense.

02:41:14.000 Like as good a drummer as he is, you cannot be that good unless you got some fire inside of you.

02:41:20.000 Yeah.

02:41:21.000 You know, that dude's got fire inside of him, but he's super cool.

02:41:24.000 Yeah.

02:41:24.000 I mean...

02:41:26.000 But like to be that good and so fucking into it, man.

02:41:30.000 He's fucking got it.

02:41:32.000 I mean, that's the same spirit.

02:41:33.000 It's just like...

02:41:35.000 It's a spirit.

02:41:36.000 It's just like, fuck you.

02:41:39.000 I'm gonna play music.

02:41:40.000 Yeah.

02:41:41.000 And this is how it's gonna be.

02:41:42.000 And he's a guy who likes old cars too.

02:41:45.000 I bet for the same reasons.

02:41:46.000 He's an artist.

02:41:47.000 Doesn't he have like a dope blazer?

02:41:49.000 Like a really cool custom blazer I think he has?

02:41:51.000 Probably.

02:41:52.000 He's got a lot of cool.

02:41:54.000 One day I'll be that cool.

02:41:55.000 I'm working on it.

02:41:56.000 It's hard.

02:41:57.000 It's hard to get that cool.

02:41:59.000 It's tough.

02:42:00.000 It's hard.

02:42:01.000 Travis Barker's at a high level of cool.

02:42:04.000 Because he's like a genuine human.

02:42:06.000 There it is.

02:42:07.000 Look at that thing.

02:42:08.000 God damn, that's sweet.

02:42:10.000 Holy fuck.

02:42:11.000 Look at that.

02:42:12.000 That is clean.

02:42:13.000 Who made that thing?

02:42:15.000 It's hot.

02:42:15.000 Travis Barker's K5 Blazer Custom SUV. Topless.

02:42:21.000 Topless, show the titties.

02:42:23.000 Who made that?

02:42:25.000 We should probably...

02:42:26.000 Oh, the light bar on top is gangster.

02:42:29.000 That's a sick car.

02:42:30.000 Yeah, that's dope.

02:42:32.000 It's got taste.

02:42:34.000 It's got taste.

02:42:35.000 Does it say the people who built it?

02:42:38.000 You're going to have to Google it, kid.

02:42:43.000 What is it?

02:42:45.000 Delmo Speed and Custom.

02:42:47.000 In Burbank, California.

02:42:51.000 Yeah, that's a pretty beast.

02:42:53.000 Car shops are considered, they're supposed to be essential businesses.

02:42:59.000 You're allowed to still work on cars.

02:43:02.000 I hope so.

02:43:03.000 Yeah, but that's one of the weirdest things about this pandemic is what's essential and what's not essential.

02:43:10.000 It is.

02:43:11.000 Who gets to decide?

02:43:13.000 Exactly.

02:43:15.000 Exactly.

02:43:16.000 Is there a vote?

02:43:17.000 Who gets to decide?

02:43:19.000 It's a strange amount of power.

02:43:21.000 Because it's not you and it's not me.

02:43:23.000 No.

02:43:24.000 It's a strange amount of power, and what's allowed to be open and what's not.

02:43:28.000 Like, they had bars were open, but then they wouldn't let comedy clubs open.

02:43:32.000 Like, that's an entertainment venue.

02:43:34.000 But then so is the Staples Center.

02:43:36.000 They're very different things.

02:43:37.000 Yeah.

02:43:38.000 You know?

02:43:38.000 One of them can have 30 people in it.

02:43:40.000 Right.

02:43:41.000 You know?

02:43:43.000 It's like, who gets to decide your restaurant can open because it's outside?

02:43:49.000 There's no way in hell you could figure out how to keep people apart inside.

02:43:53.000 You just did.

02:43:54.000 You did it for a while.

02:43:55.000 Right.

02:43:56.000 Like, who's making the rules?

02:43:58.000 Yeah, that's the whole...

02:43:58.000 Whenever I touched down, my friend was like, yeah, all the restaurants just...

02:44:06.000 Put some chairs and tables on the outside.

02:44:09.000 Yeah, that's what most of them did.

02:44:11.000 They're very smart.

02:44:12.000 They adapted.

02:44:12.000 A lot of them that could do that did that.

02:44:15.000 But most of them went under.

02:44:17.000 I think it's more than 50% went under.

02:44:19.000 What if you're addicted to partying?

02:44:21.000 Then a nightclub is an essential business.

02:44:26.000 Good point.

02:44:27.000 What do people who are addicted to partying do?

02:44:29.000 What have they been doing besides partying?

02:44:31.000 Who's it to say?

02:44:32.000 Unregulated parties at home, and that gives people coronavirus.

02:44:35.000 Don't they?

02:44:36.000 You always see that story.

02:44:38.000 Here's a story you never see.

02:44:40.000 Bunch of guys got together.

02:44:42.000 All of them got tested.

02:44:43.000 No one had coronavirus.

02:44:45.000 They partied.

02:44:45.000 They had a great time.

02:44:46.000 Nobody got hurt.

02:44:47.000 You don't see that story.

02:44:48.000 You know who's doing that story right now?

02:44:49.000 Dave Chappelle.

02:44:51.000 What Dave Chappelle's doing is testing everybody, flying everybody out to Ohio, putting on these great shows.

02:44:57.000 He has music, he has comedy, he has a good fucking time, and he does it outdoors.

02:45:03.000 Yeah, that's what he's doing.

02:45:06.000 It's a wedding chapel.

02:45:09.000 Wow.

02:45:10.000 So he's doing it on this stage that people get married on.

02:45:13.000 So it's like a stage with the fucking poles and the steps to get up to it.

02:45:17.000 See, that's the whole shit.

02:45:19.000 He wants to do a show.

02:45:21.000 He figured it out.

02:45:22.000 He wants to do a show.

02:45:23.000 He needs to do a show.

02:45:24.000 That's an essential...

02:45:25.000 That's an essential thing.

02:45:27.000 For him.

02:45:27.000 It's essential for people, too, because it's another thing that makes people feel good.

02:45:31.000 It makes them feel good.

02:45:32.000 Like, they're doing an investigation of the chain smokers.

02:45:37.000 Like the state's involved in this investigation because they did essentially a car show where they were on stage and there was like 600 cars in the audience and they did their show to people in parked cars.

02:45:49.000 Like what the fuck is wrong with that?

02:45:52.000 No.

02:45:53.000 Why is that bad?

02:45:54.000 No?

02:45:55.000 Oh, Jesus!

02:45:56.000 No, they were all standing around.

02:45:59.000 Oh, so it's supposed to be in cars and people just said, fuck it, let's get out of the cars and stand?

02:46:06.000 Play that, play that.

02:46:07.000 Let me see what that is.

02:46:08.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:46:10.000 This is a DJ? It's only a two-second video, so...

02:46:14.000 It depends.

02:46:15.000 Wow.

02:46:16.000 Now, it depends on intent, I think.

02:46:20.000 Bro, that's a concert.

02:46:21.000 It depends on intent.

02:46:23.000 Well, are there cars there?

02:46:25.000 Was it a drive-in concert?

02:46:27.000 What does it say?

02:46:28.000 The crowd was estimated at $2,000 for the concert at Watermill.

02:46:32.000 Ticket prices ranged from $850 to Uber VIP options for $25,000 that accommodated RVs.

02:46:40.000 All profits were earmarked for charity.

02:46:43.000 That's nice.

02:46:45.000 The state of New York is now probing the concert.

02:46:48.000 Are they probing Looting 2 or just a concert?

02:46:51.000 Did they have...

02:46:52.000 Are they probing what happened in Soho or just...

02:46:55.000 I had this story too I saw recently.

02:46:57.000 I just wanted to know.

02:46:58.000 I'm asking for a friend.

02:46:59.000 700 person Airbnb mansion party in New Jersey.

02:47:04.000 Yeah, there's flyers going around on Twitter for it.

02:47:06.000 Oh my god.

02:47:07.000 There's a thousand dollar prize for a twerk contest.

02:47:09.000 Well, it's hard to twerk.

02:47:11.000 But they're saying that's like, you know, a super spreader party or whatever.

02:47:15.000 Of course.

02:47:16.000 Yeah.

02:47:17.000 Well, I got those fuckers that say, oh, Post Malone's here at this nightclub, and I'm not even in town.

02:47:24.000 Yeah, that's crazy, right?

02:47:26.000 Shit like that.

02:47:27.000 Yeah, and people don't get their money back, right?

02:47:30.000 People pile into the club.

02:47:35.000 It's so weird now.

02:47:38.000 I'm still curious about that.

02:47:40.000 The Chainsmokers deal.

02:47:42.000 Was it a drive-in concert?

02:47:44.000 Supposedly they sold cars.

02:47:46.000 They sold like 600 cars.

02:47:49.000 But that's not on them.

02:47:51.000 If the people got out of the cars.

02:47:54.000 Right.

02:47:54.000 That's the thing.

02:47:55.000 Are you supposed to enforce that?

02:47:59.000 Here's the thing.

02:48:00.000 If they only had it set up as a concert without any enforcement whatsoever on how close people stood to each other.

02:48:08.000 Right.

02:48:09.000 Whose responsibility is it if people get out and just start talking?

02:48:12.000 Right.

02:48:14.000 I guess this is what the promoter either said.

02:48:17.000 I don't know if they actually talked to them, but this is what they were supposed to have done or did do.

02:48:21.000 There were temperature checks upon entry.

02:48:25.000 No, he said noted that concert goers went through a temperature check upon entry, which is not good enough, really.

02:48:31.000 Offered hand sanitizer.

02:48:33.000 Hey, jerk off with this.

02:48:35.000 Once parked and had restrooms that were disinfected every ten minutes.

02:48:38.000 Oh, awesome.

02:48:40.000 Well, nine minutes he's giving people cooties, and then on the tenth some dude comes in and hoses it down.

02:48:45.000 Told BuzzFeed...

02:48:47.000 There were dividers separating individual parties in the pit area and that guests were also instructed they would not be allowed to leave their design...

02:48:55.000 Well, they misspelled it.

02:48:58.000 Must be designated.

02:48:59.000 But it's designed.

02:49:01.000 For any reason other than to use the restroom.

02:49:03.000 But obviously that's not really what's happening.

02:49:05.000 But wait, what?

02:49:06.000 If it's a drive-in show, why is there a pit?

02:49:10.000 Right.

02:49:11.000 And also, the dividers between people, that's horseshit.

02:49:16.000 The air doesn't give a shit if there's a little piece of cardboard here between you and the people next to you.

02:49:21.000 Your spit goes through the air and it gets to them.

02:49:24.000 If you got it, they got it.

02:49:28.000 And I don't think it has to do with the boys in the group.

02:49:34.000 I think it has to do with someone else.

02:49:37.000 What do you think it has to do with?

02:49:38.000 Because I know the boys in the group Sweet guys.

02:49:42.000 I don't think it's their idea.

02:49:44.000 Yeah, that's exactly what I think.

02:49:45.000 I think the total, like, it was a shit show that just got out of fucking hand.

02:49:51.000 Also, here's the other thing.

02:49:52.000 If you get a bunch of people in their cars drinking, and they're all able to open the door and just socialize, they're gonna do it.

02:49:58.000 And plus, before that, they're tailgating?

02:50:00.000 Right.

02:50:01.000 So people are tailgating before the show, so they're cooking burgers, having a good time, having drinks with each other, and then the show starts.

02:50:08.000 They're gonna get out of their car and mingle with each other.

02:50:10.000 They made new friends.

02:50:13.000 You can just pull up really close.

02:50:16.000 Just touch mirrors.

02:50:17.000 I mean, there is a car, at least.

02:50:19.000 Oh, that's a car.

02:50:20.000 Dude, what's the problem?

02:50:21.000 This article said that people that were there said that it was safe.

02:50:25.000 They swear it was safe.

02:50:26.000 It was safe.

02:50:27.000 The other video looked insane.

02:50:30.000 Well, listen, it seems safe if you get away with it and nothing happens.

02:50:34.000 If you get away with it and nothing happens, like, oh my god, it was so safe.

02:50:37.000 Trust me, it was so safe.

02:50:39.000 You get a COVID test and they find you don't have it after you go to that concert.

02:50:42.000 You go, listen, it was so safe.

02:50:44.000 It was the safest.

02:50:45.000 It was unsafe.

02:50:46.000 No one even could see it.

02:50:48.000 You don't know if someone has it.

02:50:50.000 I told you my friend Jack Carr got it.

02:50:52.000 Did a fucking book signing.

02:50:55.000 He caught it for a day.

02:50:56.000 A day?

02:50:57.000 Yeah, he kicked it quick.

02:50:59.000 He kicked it in a day?

02:51:00.000 Yeah, he said it felt like shit for one day.

02:51:02.000 Some people, that's weird, man.

02:51:04.000 No shit.

02:51:04.000 My friend Michael Yeo, that's what happened to his mom.

02:51:07.000 Michael Yeo was in the hospital for a long time, man, for like weeks.

02:51:11.000 And his mom got sick for a day.

02:51:14.000 One day.

02:51:15.000 Right.

02:51:15.000 And then she kicked it.

02:51:16.000 It's a fucking weird virus, dude.

02:51:18.000 It's wild, man.

02:51:19.000 It's weird.

02:51:20.000 Even coming in here, getting pricked and...

02:51:22.000 Did you get nervous?

02:51:23.000 Yeah, fuck yeah.

02:51:24.000 I mean, you're nervous before anything, right?

02:51:27.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:51:28.000 That one's a nervous one.

02:51:29.000 Like, shit, whatever I have it.

02:51:31.000 Whatever I fucking have it.

02:51:33.000 Whatever I have it.

02:51:34.000 But I don't.

02:51:35.000 You don't.

02:51:36.000 Yay!

02:51:38.000 It's nice to know.

02:51:39.000 I made it.

02:51:40.000 Nice to know.

02:51:41.000 It's a scary fucking disease, man.

02:51:43.000 I don't know, man.

02:51:44.000 It's so weird.

02:51:45.000 It's such a bizarre time.

02:51:47.000 Here's why it's scary.

02:51:48.000 It's scary in what it's done, no matter what.

02:51:50.000 Even if you're not scared of getting it.

02:51:51.000 Yeah.

02:51:51.000 Even if you think, oh, if I get it, it's just going to make me sick for a few days, I'll kick its ass.

02:51:56.000 Even if that's true, it's scary for what it's done to the economy.

02:51:59.000 It's scary for what it's done to civilization.

02:52:02.000 Honestly, it's terrifying.

02:52:03.000 And I saw...

02:52:07.000 You can get a fine for not wearing a mask.

02:52:10.000 Yeah.

02:52:10.000 And sometimes it's up to 600 fucking bucks.

02:52:14.000 Yep.

02:52:15.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:52:16.000 They're arresting people for keeping gyms open.

02:52:18.000 I've seen that.

02:52:21.000 The same people that didn't arrest the looters, I think.

02:52:24.000 Is it the exact same people?

02:52:25.000 Yes.

02:52:29.000 Arresting people for opening gyms.

02:52:33.000 There's going to come a certain amount of time.

02:52:35.000 I don't know what that time is.

02:52:36.000 But here we are in August.

02:52:38.000 It's basically August.

02:52:41.000 And everything's still closed.

02:52:42.000 How long are we going to do this for?

02:52:44.000 Are we going to stay closed for a year?

02:52:46.000 Are we going to stay closed for two years?

02:52:48.000 What's going to be left?

02:52:50.000 Nothing.

02:52:51.000 It's a complicated question, because you don't want people to die, and you don't want people to have diseases and get sick.

02:52:58.000 But then you have to, everybody has to live their life.

02:53:01.000 Everybody has to survive and fucking be able to pay their fucking bills and eat.

02:53:07.000 Exactly.

02:53:08.000 So when does that call get made?

02:53:10.000 That's what's complicated about it.

02:53:12.000 This is one of the most truly human problems we've ever faced.

02:53:16.000 Because no one really knows what the right thing to do is.

02:53:19.000 There'll be a lot of armchair quarterbacking after it's over, where people who, you know, people die, people who look back on it and say they should have done this, or they should have done that.

02:53:28.000 Well that's great.

02:53:29.000 And maybe some people had a better idea of how to handle it.

02:53:33.000 But it's just guessing.

02:53:36.000 Right now it's just guessing.

02:53:37.000 Yeah.

02:53:38.000 It's fucking weird, dude.

02:53:40.000 It's weird to me that there is a...

02:53:43.000 It's like me in school having to fucking tuck in my shirt or else you get detention or whatever.

02:53:52.000 It's weird to be forced to wear something.

02:53:59.000 Right, so that's what you feel about the mask.

02:54:01.000 I see what you're saying.

02:54:01.000 Yeah.

02:54:02.000 But you know that it does work, right?

02:54:03.000 That's what's weird about it.

02:54:05.000 If you wear a good mask, it actually does prevent a lot of transmission.

02:54:08.000 Apparently, that's all Japan.

02:54:10.000 Why did I say it that way?

02:54:11.000 Japan.

02:54:12.000 That's all Japan.

02:54:13.000 I was in the middle of saying Japan.

02:54:15.000 I stumbled through it some weird way.

02:54:17.000 Necrogobble.

02:54:19.000 Words are hard.

02:54:21.000 Sorry.

02:54:22.000 Japan, they didn't shut their economy down.

02:54:25.000 They just wore masks.

02:54:27.000 Well, I mean, that's, yeah.

02:54:29.000 They didn't suffer that many deaths either.

02:54:31.000 It's really weird.

02:54:34.000 I would like to see a documentary on how Japan managed COVID-19 because they did an insane job.

02:54:41.000 Maybe as good a job as anybody.

02:54:43.000 I think there's only a thousand deaths in all of Japan.

02:54:47.000 Kyle Kalinske was telling me about this.

02:54:48.000 He sent me some article.

02:54:50.000 If you can't find it, I'll send you the article.

02:54:52.000 But it's pretty crazy.

02:54:53.000 It's all in how they never shut the economy down.

02:54:57.000 They just all wore masks.

02:54:58.000 Everybody followed the rules.

02:55:00.000 And they contained it.

02:55:04.000 At the end of the day, it all comes down to respect for other people.

02:55:11.000 Sure.

02:55:12.000 That's what a mask is for, right?

02:55:14.000 Right.

02:55:14.000 It's not a government thing.

02:55:19.000 You shouldn't be forced to wear a mask.

02:55:25.000 But you should.

02:55:26.000 Wear a mask.

02:55:27.000 Right.

02:55:28.000 Yes.

02:55:28.000 Yeah, you should wear a mask because you're a good person.

02:55:31.000 Right.

02:55:31.000 And that's because I respect you as a fellow human.

02:55:35.000 Yeah.

02:55:36.000 It has nothing to do with being...

02:55:38.000 600 bucks?

02:55:40.000 That's what it cost?

02:55:41.000 Some places, it's $600.

02:55:43.000 I saw, what is it in Beverly Hills right now?

02:55:46.000 What's the fine for looting?

02:55:47.000 Do they have a fine?

02:55:48.000 $300.

02:55:49.000 No fine for looting?

02:55:51.000 $300 for not wearing a mask in Beverly Hills.

02:55:54.000 You definitely should wear a mask, just so people feel better for now.

02:55:58.000 I mean, we gotta get through this together.

02:56:00.000 But I don't know about fining people for it.

02:56:02.000 And the other thing was snitching.

02:56:03.000 They were paying people to snitch on people who weren't social distancing.

02:56:07.000 That was the mayor.

02:56:08.000 Mayor of Los Angeles.

02:56:11.000 They were like, ordinarily snitches get stitches, but now snitches get rewards.

02:56:16.000 They were literally giving people money or advertising.

02:56:20.000 I don't know if they ever gave any money out.

02:56:22.000 Advertising they would give away rewards for people who turn in people who are not social distancing.

02:56:29.000 Why not just say something to the guy?

02:56:33.000 Hey, why not just say, hey, put your mask on, bub.

02:56:38.000 No, that's too complicated.

02:56:39.000 You're asking too much.

02:56:40.000 But then you have to, how long is the rebate?

02:56:43.000 Is it like you have to mail in your snitch information?

02:56:45.000 That's a good question.

02:56:46.000 I know, right?

02:56:47.000 What if they still haven't gotten paid yet and they feel like a fucking terrible person?

02:56:51.000 Like, bro, I turned you in.

02:56:52.000 I need the money to pay my rent.

02:56:54.000 Meanwhile, months later, the money still hasn't come.

02:56:59.000 But that's the fucking shit!

02:56:59.000 LA is rough, and I know.

02:57:01.000 I slept in a closet.

02:57:04.000 $300.

02:57:06.000 Because maybe someone sees you eating and you don't have a mask on and then you are stuck with a fucking ticket.

02:57:17.000 It blows my mind.

02:57:18.000 It's weird.

02:57:19.000 It's all about fucking the responsibility and your character, really.

02:57:24.000 If you snitch and they don't pay you, what do you do?

02:57:29.000 Who's gonna wanna hear you whine?

02:57:32.000 If you snitch like, hey, I turned in with this family next door, they were having a picnic, and I never got my reward.

02:57:39.000 I don't even know how that works.

02:57:41.000 How about Lost Dogs?

02:57:43.000 Do they ever pay the cash amount that they say?

02:57:46.000 They never find them.

02:57:46.000 They want them.

02:57:47.000 They never find them.

02:57:48.000 Lost dogs in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark.

02:57:51.000 They're coyote food most of the time in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark.

02:57:55.000 When I drive through my neighborhood and I see like a poodle on a sign, I just make the sign of the cross.

02:57:59.000 That's it, baby.

02:58:01.000 You don't even try.

02:58:03.000 You don't even see it and you're like, gotta keep my eyes peeled.

02:58:07.000 You don't understand how many coyotes there are in my neighborhood.

02:58:09.000 I've lost 19 chickens.

02:58:10.000 I lost 19 chickens in my neighborhood.

02:58:13.000 I'll hear coyotes are fucking rough.

02:58:16.000 Dude, we lost them one at a time, these motherfuckers.

02:58:19.000 And then the last, I guess we had like 11 of them left after the fire.

02:58:25.000 After the big fires out here.

02:58:28.000 They burned down their chicken coop, but they were still alive.

02:58:30.000 And there was like, I think 11 of them left.

02:58:33.000 We put them in a smaller chicken coop while we had the other one reconstructed and one day the coyotes got to it.

02:58:38.000 Just destroyed it.

02:58:39.000 Tore open the chicken coop and ate all the chickens.

02:58:43.000 Through the wire?

02:58:44.000 Yeah, they pulled the wire off.

02:58:45.000 They pulled the wood off of it.

02:58:47.000 They're predators, man.

02:58:48.000 They're real smart.

02:58:50.000 They're devious little cunts.

02:58:52.000 Utah, they don't pay you out here.

02:58:55.000 For dead ones?

02:58:56.000 You get 50 bucks a year in Utah.

02:58:59.000 That's worth it.

02:59:01.000 The thing is you can't kill them.

02:59:03.000 When you kill them, it has the opposite effect.

02:59:06.000 What happens with coyotes is they do that roll call where they yell out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:59:10.000 Well, when one stops responding, like when one's missing.

02:59:14.000 Everybody's checking it out.

02:59:15.000 No, the females start growing more eggs.

02:59:18.000 No shit.

02:59:19.000 Yes, so they have more babies.

02:59:21.000 So when female coyotes are in a pack and a coyote goes missing, all of the females generate more children.

02:59:34.000 So if they would normally have like three kids, now they have six.

02:59:38.000 So it's like unlimited money.

02:59:40.000 Well, as long as you...

02:59:41.000 You have to kill them all.

02:59:42.000 You have to kill them all.

02:59:43.000 Because as long as you persecute them, what they do is they make more babies and they spread out.

02:59:48.000 And they're really smart.

02:59:49.000 They're in every fucking city in this country right now.

02:59:51.000 Yeah.

02:59:51.000 They're weird.

02:59:53.000 They're weird little tricksters.

02:59:54.000 We got a big cat in my house.

02:59:55.000 How big?

02:59:56.000 Big.

02:59:57.000 Really?

02:59:57.000 Yeah.

02:59:58.000 How big?

02:59:58.000 Big.

02:59:59.000 Mountain lion.

03:00:00.000 Yeah.

03:00:01.000 150?

03:00:01.000 How big is he?

03:00:02.000 Bigger.

03:00:03.000 Bigger.

03:00:03.000 Yeah.

03:00:04.000 Those Utah cats are big because there's so many deer up there.

03:00:07.000 It's a big fucker.

03:00:09.000 And he always comes and hangs out.

03:00:12.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

03:00:13.000 Yeah, same cat.

03:00:13.000 Fuck him.

03:00:15.000 Big motherfucker.

03:00:15.000 Don't you want to shoot him right in the fucking dick?

03:00:18.000 I'm not, uh...

03:00:19.000 Creepy asshole, hanging around your house looking to eat your dog.

03:00:22.000 If I see the ears go back, that's when I'll shoot it.

03:00:26.000 They eat dogs.

03:00:27.000 Yeah, that's what I'm...

03:00:28.000 It's mostly what they do.

03:00:30.000 Yeah.

03:00:30.000 They find dogs and shit, things that are easy to eat.

03:00:33.000 They're so creepy.

03:00:34.000 Well, that's the same.

03:00:35.000 I had a...

03:00:36.000 I still do...

03:00:38.000 He stays with my parents right now, but I had a micro French bulldog.

03:00:43.000 Ooh.

03:00:44.000 Snack.

03:00:45.000 For coyotes, especially out here, whenever I lived down here, he would go out back and we heard him all night.

03:00:55.000 It's scary stuff, man.

03:00:59.000 They're a weird, wild animal.

03:01:02.000 It's a small wolf that lives with people.

03:01:06.000 They're just slippery enough and small enough.

03:01:08.000 We're not worried about them.

03:01:10.000 Yeah, right.

03:01:10.000 Just small enough.

03:01:11.000 Right.

03:01:11.000 Like, if there was wolves on the street everywhere, we'd be fucking terrified.

03:01:14.000 It would be like Little Red Riding Hood and shit because we would know they're going to kill your kids.

03:01:17.000 Wolves will kill your kids.

03:01:19.000 Right.

03:01:19.000 Coyotes are just small enough that we're like, I don't think it's going to kill the kids.

03:01:24.000 I think we'll be okay.

03:01:26.000 Right.

03:01:26.000 You let these fucking dirty twats live in your neighborhood.

03:01:29.000 You get, like, fucking three of them.

03:01:31.000 Killing your cats.

03:01:32.000 It's fucking insane.

03:01:33.000 Killing dogs.

03:01:34.000 Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

03:01:37.000 Never mind.

03:01:38.000 I'm not going to say that.

03:01:39.000 They're creepy.

03:01:40.000 The commission will come after me.

03:01:42.000 I'm not saying anything.

03:01:48.000 If I see those ears, go back.

03:01:50.000 Yeah, well that's self-defense though.

03:01:52.000 They did a study of cats in Northern California, like outside of San Francisco.

03:01:58.000 They captured or killed some of these mountain lions and they did a content, stomach content thing of the troubled cats.

03:02:05.000 They would cause problems, eat people's cats and dogs and shit.

03:02:09.000 They found out that 50% of their diet was house pets.

03:02:14.000 Most of these mountain lions out there are just eating dogs.

03:02:19.000 That's half their diet, man.

03:02:20.000 Missing dogs.

03:02:21.000 When you think about all the people out here, if you had an aerial view of people, and all these people have dogs, there's thousands and thousands of dogs, and these cats are just stealing them out of backyards.

03:02:32.000 Just jumping in, stealing them out of backyards.

03:02:35.000 You'd never know.

03:02:37.000 It happens and people don't know and they don't know what to do.

03:02:40.000 They call their friends.

03:02:41.000 They put up that poster.

03:02:43.000 We're just trying to get Fluffy back.

03:02:46.000 Photos.

03:02:47.000 Cash reward.

03:02:48.000 We miss him.

03:02:49.000 If you find him, we have money.

03:02:51.000 We have money.

03:02:51.000 I just go, they ate him.

03:02:53.000 We're surrounded by these creepy predators.

03:02:55.000 Mountain lions no one ever sees.

03:02:57.000 They're killing multiple deer a week.

03:03:00.000 There's not a lot of cougars out here.

03:03:02.000 There's plenty.

03:03:04.000 Not the fun kind.

03:03:07.000 There's a lot of those kinds.

03:03:09.000 But there's also mountain lions.

03:03:11.000 They have them in Griffith Park.

03:03:13.000 There's a photo of one that I have out there.

03:03:15.000 I remember it.

03:03:16.000 Did you see the one that I have out there?

03:03:18.000 It's a famous photo of the one.

03:03:20.000 It's a huge cat that's walking in front of the Hollywood sign.

03:03:24.000 It has a big collar on it because they GPS track them.

03:03:27.000 But this fucking thing is in Griffith Park.

03:03:29.000 It's right outside.

03:03:30.000 Look at that.

03:03:31.000 That motherfucker.

03:03:32.000 That giant cat.

03:03:33.000 Look at his arm.

03:03:34.000 That's a cool picture.

03:03:34.000 It's an amazing picture.

03:03:36.000 That cat is in the Hollywood Hills.

03:03:39.000 His name's Chandler.

03:03:43.000 That's Mikey.

03:03:47.000 He's huge.

03:03:48.000 He's massive.

03:03:49.000 It's so big.

03:03:50.000 I wonder what it weighs.

03:03:52.000 Isn't that one dead?

03:03:53.000 Didn't that one die?

03:03:54.000 That one's still alive?

03:03:55.000 Fuck!

03:03:56.000 What's his real name?

03:03:57.000 P-22.

03:03:58.000 That's his name.

03:03:59.000 That's what they call him.

03:04:00.000 They name him numbers instead of giving him names because they don't want to feel bad when they die.

03:04:05.000 Urban Carnivores.

03:04:06.000 Look at him.

03:04:06.000 That old warrior.

03:04:08.000 Just out there eating skunks and shit.

03:04:10.000 Oh, damn.

03:04:11.000 That's a big fucker.

03:04:12.000 That's a big fucker.

03:04:13.000 Where was...

03:04:14.000 It was out here, too.

03:04:16.000 Like, wasn't there...

03:04:17.000 Look at that.

03:04:17.000 That's in the fucking hills!

03:04:18.000 Imagine if you're hanging out with your chick, you're sitting on top of the hill, you're like, let's just get a glass of wine, just get out of the car, have a glass of wine, you see that thing coming up the hill, you're like, fuck!

03:04:30.000 Man.

03:04:31.000 What do you do?

03:04:32.000 What do you do?

03:04:33.000 You break the fucking wine bottle on the ground like you're in an old movie.

03:04:37.000 You're like, come on!

03:04:38.000 Fucking Revenant.

03:04:39.000 Come on, motherfucker!

03:04:41.000 Yeah, like The Grey, remember?

03:04:45.000 Did you ever see that one?

03:04:45.000 That was a Liam Neeson movie.

03:04:46.000 The wolves were coming after him and he broke bottles and stuck them inside of his knuckles.

03:04:50.000 I did see that movie.

03:04:52.000 It's snowy everywhere.

03:04:55.000 I'm thinking about Leo fighting a fucking bear.

03:05:02.000 That was based on a real guy.

03:05:05.000 That movie was based on a real man.

03:05:06.000 He must have been a motherfucker.

03:05:09.000 I remember that.

03:05:10.000 I love how he has that cowl neck sweater.

03:05:16.000 Looks warm and comfy.

03:05:18.000 Most certainly.

03:05:19.000 I'm just fucking killing a pack of wolves in my fucking cowl neck.

03:05:23.000 Yeah, with broken airplane booze bottles shoved in between each knuckle.

03:05:29.000 Didn't he have in each knuckle?

03:05:31.000 Yeah, that's what he had.

03:05:32.000 He made like a...

03:05:34.000 Makeshift brass knuckles.

03:05:37.000 He's got a knife.

03:05:38.000 He's ready to go to the death with these wolves.

03:05:40.000 That'll take three seconds.

03:05:42.000 Congratulations on your shitty decision-making.

03:05:45.000 Gaff tape, AirPods.

03:05:46.000 Climb a tree, bro.

03:05:47.000 Climb a tree and wait.

03:05:49.000 Okay?

03:05:50.000 Fucking David Blaine can stand still for 38 hours.

03:05:53.000 You can't get up in a tree until these wolves get bored?

03:05:55.000 That's true.

03:05:56.000 Wolves can't climb trees, motherfucker.

03:05:58.000 Climb a tree.

03:05:59.000 But do they get bored?

03:06:00.000 We'll find out.

03:06:01.000 We'll find out.

03:06:03.000 How long do you wait for them fuckers to get bored?

03:06:05.000 Well, it's one of two decisions.

03:06:07.000 Either you find out how long they get bored and you go where they can't go, or you fight them to the death and that takes three seconds.

03:06:13.000 You have two choices.

03:06:14.000 You gotta fight the biggest one.

03:06:16.000 Bro, they're gonna tear your hamstrings apart.

03:06:19.000 No, you gotta fight the biggest one, because once you fight the biggest one, they're gonna think you're the leader of the pack now.

03:06:26.000 The first thing they're gonna do is they're gonna send some little bitch-ass wolves, because it's all it needs to kill you, and they're gonna eat you asshole first.

03:06:32.000 I would love to see a little bitch-ass wolf try to beat my ass.

03:06:39.000 I would love that.

03:06:43.000 No shot in hell.

03:06:45.000 Any bitch-ass wolf is kicking my ass.

03:06:47.000 I want to fight your king.

03:06:49.000 Take me to your leader.

03:06:51.000 But getting killed by wolves is probably one of the worst ways to go.

03:06:54.000 Because it takes a while.

03:06:56.000 What about acid?

03:06:59.000 That would be bad, too.

03:07:00.000 That would be bad.

03:07:01.000 There's something terrible about knowing that something's killing you to eat you, though.

03:07:06.000 You know?

03:07:07.000 Like wolves killing you to eat you.

03:07:08.000 Like, you're looking at them like, ah!

03:07:09.000 And then ripping apart your chest.

03:07:12.000 So I'm extra terrifying about that.

03:07:14.000 You could give them a fucking kick.

03:07:16.000 You could just kick the wolves into fucking oblivion.

03:07:19.000 Nonsense.

03:07:20.000 Think about what wolves can do.

03:07:22.000 They're 150 pounds, they can run 35 miles an hour, and they can do it for all day.

03:07:27.000 They go all day.

03:07:28.000 They're made out of wire.

03:07:29.000 If you grabbed ahold of a wolf, they don't even feel like an animal.

03:07:33.000 Get them in the clinch.

03:07:35.000 Get them in the clinch.

03:07:35.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:07:36.000 Good move.

03:07:37.000 What are they going to do if they can't bite you?

03:07:39.000 They'll claw you.

03:07:40.000 Yeah, that's pretty rough.

03:07:42.000 I'm going to do some Tai Chi on them.

03:07:44.000 Sidestep.

03:07:46.000 Imagine if mice took jiu-jitsu.

03:07:49.000 They could keep that fucking centipede from eating their brain first.

03:07:54.000 What a weird world nature is, man.

03:07:56.000 It's terrifying.

03:07:58.000 Yeah, for sure.

03:07:58.000 It's just one thing eating another thing, getting eaten by a third thing, and then what's more terrifying about that centipede eating the mouse?

03:08:09.000 The fact that a centipede does that and eats a mouse brain first, or the fact that people set it up and filmed it Knowing how it was going to go down and wanting to show people what happens when a centipede meets a mouse.

03:08:24.000 So they left this mouse in this total unnatural environment.

03:08:27.000 If that mouse was out in the wild, centipede probably rarely gets a hold of a mouse like that.

03:08:31.000 Right?

03:08:33.000 Mouse is faster.

03:08:34.000 Fast as fuck.

03:08:35.000 And he knows jujitsu.

03:08:37.000 Like, that centipede, like, go back to that video with the centipede and the mouse.

03:08:40.000 No, no, don't go back to the video.

03:08:43.000 Did the mouse have a chance of getting away in a real-world environment?

03:08:46.000 They were in an aquarium.

03:08:47.000 Right.

03:08:48.000 But it's not a real-world environment.

03:08:50.000 But in a real-world environment, if the mouse had a chance to scramble, do you think he could have got away?

03:08:55.000 Because that's the thing.

03:08:56.000 It's like, is that a fair fight?

03:08:59.000 Like, if a big guy is trying to chase down a small, fast guy in a large area, it's not going to happen.

03:09:07.000 He's not going to catch him.

03:09:08.000 No.

03:09:09.000 But if you leave him in a tiny little room, then they can grab him.

03:09:13.000 Yeah.

03:09:13.000 That's kind of what happened there.

03:09:14.000 That's an unnatural environment.

03:09:16.000 Yeah, it's not.

03:09:17.000 There we go.

03:09:18.000 It was for sport.

03:09:19.000 National Geographic got a different version of this.

03:09:21.000 This is a grasshopper mouse.

03:09:22.000 This is a little more of a fight.

03:09:23.000 Oh, those are vicious little mice.

03:09:25.000 Look at them, they're going to war.

03:09:27.000 Yeah, fuck yeah.

03:09:28.000 Oh my god, the mouse is attacking them and biting it and then jumping away.

03:09:31.000 Again, this is lit very well, and it might be set up.

03:09:35.000 You're right.

03:09:36.000 But, because I don't know how you get cameras so good to capture all this.

03:09:39.000 I think the creepiest part of the whole deal is his legs.

03:09:42.000 Dude, I'm glad you think like you do, Jamie, because you're right.

03:09:45.000 This is probably more murder porn.

03:09:48.000 Oh, we got it.

03:09:49.000 Mouse wins this one.

03:09:50.000 Yo, that's my fucking dog.

03:09:52.000 Oh, bite your fucking head off, bitch.

03:09:54.000 Mouse wins.

03:09:55.000 Bite your fucking head off.

03:09:56.000 Look at him.

03:09:58.000 Oh, and then he gets to eat him.

03:09:59.000 Oh, yeah.

03:10:00.000 Asshole first.

03:10:02.000 That's what they do.

03:10:04.000 That's where the flavor is.

03:10:06.000 Asshole first.

03:10:08.000 Look at him.

03:10:09.000 You don't need ass.

03:10:09.000 That's a different kind of mouse, though, than those little bitch-ass lab mice that they threw in that aquarium.

03:10:15.000 Those little lab mice.

03:10:17.000 Can we watch a snake and a mongoose fight?

03:10:19.000 No.

03:10:22.000 Mongoose beat the snake, too.

03:10:24.000 They're fast.

03:10:25.000 Yeah, Mongoose is the best bike.

03:10:28.000 Here we go.

03:10:29.000 As a kid.

03:10:30.000 What is this?

03:10:32.000 Pocket mice like to snack on centipedes late at night.

03:10:35.000 Oh, this is a different mouse.

03:10:37.000 Oh, shit.

03:10:38.000 But not this night.

03:10:40.000 Oh, we clipped them.

03:10:43.000 Not on this night.

03:10:44.000 Oh, so this night the centipede wins?

03:10:47.000 Oh my god, I poked him.

03:10:49.000 Look at that.

03:10:50.000 He hurls himself at the mouse.

03:10:52.000 Oh my god, the mouse ran off.

03:10:55.000 It's like, this is bullshit.

03:10:57.000 You gotta think, man, if you're going to war...

03:10:59.000 That's cool looking.

03:11:01.000 What is that?

03:11:02.000 Kung Fu mantis?

03:11:04.000 Holy shit, that's a real thing?

03:11:06.000 Okay, now imagine that, the size of a horse, running down Central Park, taking out people.

03:11:13.000 We're so lucky!

03:11:14.000 We're so lucky they're itty bitty tiny things.

03:11:17.000 Right?

03:11:18.000 No.

03:11:19.000 Oh, yeah, for sure, dude.

03:11:20.000 That's my boy.

03:11:22.000 Bullets would be just bouncing off that thing.

03:11:27.000 You think about that existential exoskeleton.

03:11:33.000 If the size, you can crush it and you hear the crunch, but at a larger scale, it's probably bulletproof.

03:11:41.000 Yeah, you ain't crunching shit.

03:11:43.000 Have you got a big one?

03:11:44.000 The size of a horse?

03:11:45.000 Look at that thing!

03:11:46.000 That's beautiful.

03:11:47.000 What is that, man?

03:11:49.000 What is it called?

03:11:50.000 It's another kind of mantis.

03:11:51.000 I've seen there's like a lot of species of mantises.

03:11:55.000 Wait, are they?

03:11:56.000 Mantises.

03:11:57.000 Manti, I don't know.

03:11:58.000 Ooh, Manti.

03:12:00.000 That is one of the craziest looking insects I've ever seen.

03:12:03.000 That's beautiful.

03:12:04.000 Wait, are they going to fight?

03:12:05.000 It looks like they're going to war.

03:12:06.000 Or are they friends?

03:12:07.000 Back up a little bit so I can see the kung fu mantis go through his kung fu.

03:12:11.000 Because he actually does do kung fu.

03:12:13.000 When you saw the moves that the mantis makes, when he sees the other...

03:12:17.000 Wow, look at that mantis.

03:12:18.000 They're both beautiful.

03:12:19.000 They are.

03:12:21.000 God, it's amazing.

03:12:23.000 But the fact that that little one...

03:12:24.000 Oh, he got snatched up, son.

03:12:27.000 Welcome to the jungle.

03:12:29.000 How fast?

03:12:29.000 We got fun and games.

03:12:31.000 Yeah, that's it.

03:12:32.000 It's game over.

03:12:33.000 Oh, that's a wrap, bitch!

03:12:34.000 Size does matter!

03:12:36.000 And he's like, I'm gonna eat you!

03:12:37.000 That's great!

03:12:38.000 You know what this is?

03:12:39.000 This is like real kung fu.

03:12:41.000 Imagine!

03:12:42.000 Like you think you have power over the larger opponent, but only so much.

03:12:47.000 There's one too, it's a different kind, hanging upside down.

03:12:51.000 Well, is he...

03:12:53.000 Oh, that's a different mantis.

03:12:54.000 They must be at the mantis zoo.

03:12:57.000 Capturing like...

03:12:58.000 This is a jumping spider.

03:12:59.000 That's what it's called?

03:13:00.000 No, there is a picture of a spider in here somewhere.

03:13:02.000 Look at that mantis.

03:13:03.000 How many fucking mantises are there?

03:13:05.000 Manti.

03:13:06.000 Manti.

03:13:07.000 Manti-see.

03:13:09.000 Imagine being a bear and being in a river.

03:13:15.000 Okay.

03:13:16.000 Grabbing a fish and eating it alive.

03:13:20.000 Yeah.

03:13:21.000 Probably feels amazing.

03:13:22.000 Probably tastes so good.

03:13:23.000 You're hungry.

03:13:24.000 Never know where your next meal's gonna come from.

03:13:26.000 Probably doesn't.

03:13:27.000 Just biting into a salmon.

03:13:30.000 Just imagine, okay, imagine being a big mantis and picking up a little mantis.

03:13:35.000 And eating him.

03:13:36.000 And eating him alive.

03:13:36.000 Right in front of his friends.

03:13:38.000 Look at that thing.

03:13:38.000 Right in front of his friends.

03:13:41.000 Fuck you and your whole neighborhood.

03:13:43.000 I'm eating your friends.

03:13:46.000 I mean, he's enormous.

03:13:51.000 That's like a, it's almost like, it's like a giraffe eating a person, right?

03:13:57.000 Is it?

03:13:57.000 As big as he is?

03:13:59.000 Can we pull up the grasshopper eating a carrot?

03:14:02.000 Look at that one!

03:14:04.000 What is that called?

03:14:05.000 Ghost.

03:14:06.000 It's a ghost of real.

03:14:07.000 That is so crazy.

03:14:09.000 A ghost mantis.

03:14:10.000 Is he on a green bean?

03:14:12.000 He's on a leaf.

03:14:13.000 Oh, I thought he was on a big green bean.

03:14:16.000 What a trick.

03:14:17.000 What's your favorite vegetable?

03:14:19.000 That's a good question.

03:14:20.000 Is it green beans?

03:14:22.000 No.

03:14:23.000 Oh, that's mine.

03:14:24.000 I like garlic snap peas.

03:14:25.000 Those are really good.

03:14:28.000 Are they snap peas?

03:14:30.000 Yeah, snap peas.

03:14:30.000 With garlic on it?

03:14:31.000 They make them with garlic.

03:14:33.000 But what's your favorite raw vegetable?

03:14:35.000 Hmm.

03:14:37.000 Probably like bell peppers because they're not really a vegetable.

03:14:39.000 They're like a fruit.

03:14:40.000 It's a fruit.

03:14:41.000 Is it like a bell pepper, a fruit, or a vegetable?

03:14:43.000 I think so.

03:14:46.000 Straight up vegetables?

03:14:47.000 I guess I like green leafy things, but I don't know if I like them or if I know they're good for you.

03:14:51.000 You try raw green beans?

03:14:53.000 They're pretty good.

03:14:54.000 They're the best.

03:14:55.000 Okay, if you've got a plate of delicious, ripe watermelon next to some bullshit-ass green beans, which one are you going to reach for?

03:15:04.000 Well, it depends on if I'm feeling fruity or if I'm feeling like...

03:15:08.000 Vegetably?

03:15:10.000 Vegetably.

03:15:12.000 Yeah.

03:15:13.000 I rarely would eat a salad if it was hot out and it was right next to cold oranges.

03:15:19.000 Perfect oranges.

03:15:20.000 You know those oranges when you pull the peel back?

03:15:23.000 It just goes away.

03:15:24.000 It just goes away.

03:15:25.000 It wants you to eat it.

03:15:26.000 You don't have to struggle.

03:15:28.000 You don't have to dig your fingernail in there.

03:15:29.000 It's like a silk garb on a beautiful lady.

03:15:32.000 Yes, it just drops.

03:15:33.000 And then you peel those little slices and put them in your mouth and it's just this explosion of moisture and flavor.

03:15:39.000 Fuck your green beans, bro.

03:15:42.000 Hey, eat the whole fucking pack of green beans and you can send a fucking big wolf.

03:15:47.000 I don't want to fight the little bitch-ass wolf.

03:15:49.000 I get it when people are starving to death, but the fact that you would ever choose Brussels sprouts over a delicious apple is ridiculous.

03:15:56.000 It's different, though.

03:15:57.000 But if you want good mouth flavor, the apple's the way to go.

03:16:01.000 Different textures, different flavors.

03:16:04.000 For sure.

03:16:05.000 I'm not arguing because I believe it.

03:16:08.000 Just seems like something to talk about.

03:16:10.000 Are ghosts real?

03:16:12.000 I wonder, man.

03:16:13.000 So you're friends with Zach Baggins.

03:16:16.000 He believes in them 100%, right?

03:16:18.000 It's real.

03:16:19.000 Okay.

03:16:20.000 But how much of that show that they do when they're like, let's go in the basement.

03:16:23.000 Look, night vision.

03:16:24.000 What was that?

03:16:25.000 Cut to commercial.

03:16:26.000 How many times have they ever caught an actual ghost on their TV show?

03:16:30.000 A lot.

03:16:32.000 I think ghosts are probably real, but the ghosts that show up on TV are probably hacks.

03:16:36.000 It's real.

03:16:37.000 I was there.

03:16:38.000 Probably shitty ghosts.

03:16:38.000 Watch my episode.

03:16:40.000 I believe you.

03:16:41.000 That Mama movie that I was talking about, if that was real, if you see Mama at the end, at the end of the movie you get to see a real good image of Mama.

03:16:50.000 Mama's floating over this person.

03:16:56.000 If that was a real thing, and you didn't have your camera out, and it just went away, and then you had to tell people, would you even tell them?

03:17:04.000 Yeah.

03:17:05.000 What would you tell them?

03:17:06.000 You wouldn't even know what to fucking tell them.

03:17:08.000 What would you say?

03:17:09.000 You'd probably tell a few of your friends, but you wouldn't go to it on Facebook.

03:17:12.000 You wouldn't put it on Facebook.

03:17:14.000 You wouldn't put it on Instagram.

03:17:15.000 You might tell your friends.

03:17:17.000 It's like if you saw a UFO. If I saw a UFO, legitimate UFO, I saw something I couldn't explain, I'd have to tell people here.

03:17:24.000 I'd have to.

03:17:25.000 You've never seen a UFO? No, I don't think so.

03:17:28.000 I don't think so.

03:17:31.000 Nothing that really stands out.

03:17:33.000 I think I thought I saw something when I was younger, but it's not a strong enough memory.

03:17:38.000 Could have been a jet fighter, you know.

03:17:41.000 When a fighter jet flies by, you know, they do exercises all the time.

03:17:45.000 Like there was one time they launched a missile off the California coast.

03:17:51.000 I forget who, was it Edwards Air Force Base?

03:17:54.000 I forget who launched it, but it was crazy.

03:17:56.000 I was driving down Melrose, and I saw it fly across the sky, and everybody thought it was a UFO. People were pulling over.

03:18:03.000 They're like, what is that?

03:18:04.000 What is that?

03:18:05.000 People have their cameras out.

03:18:06.000 They're looking out the window.

03:18:07.000 You see this streak flying across the sky.

03:18:10.000 You remember SpaceX launch?

03:18:13.000 I didn't see it in the flesh.

03:18:15.000 I only saw it after the launch.

03:18:17.000 I was flipping shit.

03:18:18.000 That's pretty crazy.

03:18:19.000 It looked bizarre.

03:18:21.000 Did you see it outside?

03:18:22.000 Yeah.

03:18:23.000 Where did it launch from?

03:18:24.000 I have no idea.

03:18:25.000 Somewhere here.

03:18:26.000 Did it launch from here, Jamie?

03:18:29.000 Yeah, I just saw it online after it had done it.

03:18:33.000 Vandenberg.

03:18:34.000 Vandenberg?

03:18:35.000 Santa Barbara.

03:18:36.000 Oh, okay.

03:18:37.000 And we looked up and it was just like, yeah, and we were like, what the fuck is that?

03:18:43.000 When was this?

03:18:45.000 I lived in Tarzana.

03:18:46.000 Same place I saw that...

03:18:47.000 2017. Oh yeah, that's right.

03:18:50.000 You know what?

03:18:51.000 I did see this.

03:18:53.000 I did see this too.

03:18:55.000 Same place I saw that big ass fucking...

03:18:59.000 Maybe I didn't.

03:19:00.000 I don't remember if I saw this or if I pretended I saw this.

03:19:03.000 We'd have to pull it up on the podcast.

03:19:05.000 I remember that.

03:19:05.000 You might have seen it on here.

03:19:07.000 Yeah, I think that's it.

03:19:09.000 I think maybe I knew it was happening.

03:19:12.000 What makes something look like that?

03:19:14.000 I think it's the thrusters giving off fire, right?

03:19:20.000 There's fire coming out of the back end of it and it's going incredibly fast.

03:19:23.000 So it's streaking through the sky.

03:19:26.000 It's causing a disruption in all of the moisture in the atmosphere.

03:19:33.000 So, you know, you've got something that's going insanely fast with an immense amount of power.

03:19:38.000 Just burning water.

03:19:39.000 Just burning water vapor.

03:19:41.000 And then the condensation in the air.

03:19:43.000 Like, that's what when people get confused about.

03:19:45.000 Like, oh my god, chemtrails are real.

03:19:47.000 Look up at the sky.

03:19:49.000 When you see planes and you see those trails behind them, all that is is the heat of the engine interacting with the water vapor that's in the air, the condensation, and it creates fake clouds.

03:19:59.000 People are like, they're making clouds.

03:20:01.000 No, they are making clouds, but they're not doing it on purpose.

03:20:05.000 It's just a byproduct of jet engines.

03:20:07.000 Doesn't the Kremlin do that?

03:20:09.000 Definitely people do that.

03:20:10.000 Control weather.

03:20:11.000 There's definitely people who, not only do they control weather, in Abu Dhabi, they make it rain once a week.

03:20:17.000 They have 52 weeks of rain a year in the fucking desert.

03:20:20.000 What's it like, ions and shit?

03:20:22.000 It's cloud seeding.

03:20:24.000 They use, but it's a science.

03:20:26.000 Cloud seeding is 100% verified science.

03:20:29.000 They've had it forever.

03:20:31.000 And they've used it to manipulate weather in a bunch of different circumstances.

03:20:34.000 They've used it to cause rain in places, but it's like an established science.

03:20:38.000 It's like silver, the silver something, silver.

03:20:42.000 So what is the shit that they use?

03:20:45.000 Silver surfer.

03:20:47.000 Yeah, they impart the powers of the silver surfer.

03:20:52.000 But they do something where they spray things into the sky and it forces the clouds to coalesce, I think.

03:20:58.000 I'm doing a shitty job of explaining it.

03:20:59.000 But they know how to do it in Abu Dhabi.

03:21:02.000 Those dudes do it once a week.

03:21:04.000 Why not?

03:21:05.000 No shit.

03:21:06.000 They're like, wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week?

03:21:08.000 I mean, it's great here, but wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week?

03:21:10.000 Is it bad?

03:21:11.000 That's a good question.

03:21:12.000 For Earth?

03:21:15.000 You can't play God.

03:21:17.000 It says they fly out and add stuff to it.

03:21:20.000 Clouds?

03:21:21.000 Cloud that already has little rain present.

03:21:23.000 Then they fire a salt flare into the cloud to enhance the rainfall.

03:21:27.000 Whoa.

03:21:27.000 Yeah.

03:21:28.000 Clouds have two air masses.

03:21:30.000 One is updraft and one is downdraft.

03:21:33.000 What?

03:21:34.000 Clouds are alive, man.

03:21:37.000 But if I was living there and someone came to me and go, hey, we have a service we offer where we can make it rain once a week.

03:21:45.000 I'd be like, oh yeah.

03:21:46.000 Once a week?

03:21:47.000 Yeah.

03:21:48.000 Well, let's do it, man.

03:21:49.000 Yeah.

03:21:49.000 Let's do it.

03:21:50.000 So they have 52 weeks of rainfall a year.

03:21:52.000 They have like once a week it rains.

03:21:55.000 52 rainfalls a year.

03:21:56.000 Everything stays moist.

03:21:58.000 Smart.

03:21:59.000 If you can do it, if it actually works.

03:22:01.000 But what does it do?

03:22:03.000 Is it?

03:22:04.000 What does it do?

03:22:05.000 They shoot ghosts into the clouds.

03:22:07.000 What are the long-term effects?

03:22:09.000 It's the tears of all the dead people.

03:22:12.000 What dead people?

03:22:14.000 People have died in the past.

03:22:15.000 All of them?

03:22:15.000 That's what it is.

03:22:16.000 You're praying for more tears.

03:22:17.000 That's what rain is.

03:22:18.000 That's why Seattle's so sad.

03:22:20.000 It's all dead people up there.

03:22:22.000 Think about weather in relation to music is interesting.

03:22:26.000 It is.

03:22:27.000 Yeah.

03:22:28.000 Also heroin use, right?

03:22:29.000 Weather in relation to heroin use.

03:22:32.000 Really?

03:22:33.000 Yeah, Pacific Northwest.

03:22:33.000 Heroin in general or drug use in general?

03:22:37.000 Drug use in general, but it appears that like the people that I've talked to that lived, particularly my friend Joey Diaz, who lived in the Pacific Northwest, he's like, man, it's something about that area where it's all heroin.

03:22:47.000 A lot of heroin up there.

03:22:49.000 And Joey, you know, he has a lot of experience with drugs.

03:22:53.000 And he lived up there for a bit.

03:22:54.000 He was like, dude, it's just a lot of heroin.

03:22:56.000 Yeah.

03:22:58.000 I think it's a sadness, you know, the lack of vitamin D, lack of sunlight.

03:23:02.000 I mean, I don't think people really, truly understood how bad that was for you, to be vitamin D deficient like that, and the fact that that's the best way we get it is from the sun.

03:23:12.000 Yeah.

03:23:13.000 That's why, like, when you're out at your place, man, and you're in Utah, those clear skies, and you just fucking, just close your eyes and face towards the sun, you feel it on your face, like, oh, it's nice, man.

03:23:26.000 That's a love hug from the universe.

03:23:29.000 The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins.

03:23:33.000 The fireball in the sky is making me vitamins.

03:23:36.000 The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins.

03:23:38.000 That's what it is.

03:23:40.000 It's crazy.

03:23:41.000 It is crazy.

03:23:42.000 But even in Utah, even during the winter times, it's super overcast and snowing and shit, but you still get that same kind of vibe.

03:23:56.000 But maybe that's because you experience the warmth.

03:24:01.000 Utah's not overcast like the Pacific Northwest is, though.

03:24:04.000 It's like London, too.

03:24:06.000 It's like the fog.

03:24:08.000 It's heavy and it's dense.

03:24:13.000 There's something about that kind of shit that it's fun for a while, but after a while it wears on you.

03:24:19.000 Every day.

03:24:20.000 Every day over and over.

03:24:22.000 The dudes that I know that sustain it, they seem weary.

03:24:26.000 You know, my friends that I know from the Pacific Northwest, there's something about them, there's a weariness to them that concerns me.

03:24:33.000 Even the healthy ones, they don't, they seem weary.

03:24:38.000 I mean, maybe this is obviously just the people that I know, but there's something about them, man.

03:24:45.000 I just think we need sunlight.

03:24:47.000 It's good for people.

03:24:49.000 It feels good.

03:24:49.000 That's why you like to go on vacation.

03:24:51.000 You don't have to live where it's dreary.

03:24:53.000 If you look at the biggest political upheavals, these protests that are getting crazy where they're trying to burn down courthouses and shit, it's Seattle and Portland are the craziest.

03:25:05.000 Seattle and Portland are way wilder.

03:25:07.000 Seattle, they took over six blocks of the town.

03:25:10.000 Set up their own government.

03:25:11.000 Put up their own borders.

03:25:13.000 Use their own security in place of the police.

03:25:18.000 They wouldn't let people in.

03:25:19.000 I mean, they wouldn't let the police in.

03:25:22.000 They were there for weeks like that.

03:25:27.000 That's not happening anywhere where it's sunny out.

03:25:30.000 I think it's more likely to take place there.

03:25:33.000 It's fucking celestial, I suppose.

03:25:36.000 Like, human behavior is...

03:25:38.000 Kind of fucking out of our control and all lies within the environment, I guess.

03:25:45.000 I guess that's not totally accurate, though, because it really did fuck up L.A., too.

03:25:50.000 L.A. went pretty goddamn crazy.

03:25:52.000 I wasn't here.

03:25:54.000 L.A. seems to have calmed down, at least a little bit, whereas it only seems to have ramped up more in the Pacific Northwest.

03:26:02.000 But goddamn, it's beautiful up there in the summer.

03:26:05.000 I'm a nut for pine trees.

03:26:07.000 Pine trees?

03:26:09.000 Just like looking at them?

03:26:10.000 They're incredible.

03:26:12.000 And they smell good.

03:26:13.000 They do smell good.

03:26:15.000 Yeah.

03:26:16.000 You wake up in the morning and even, that's why, like, I don't know if I could live there, but, like, being in the Northwest, the Pacific Northwest is, waking up there is special.

03:26:32.000 Yeah.

03:26:32.000 It does feel different.

03:26:36.000 It's like there's like a certain smell in the air.

03:26:42.000 Yeah.

03:26:43.000 It's nature.

03:26:44.000 It's real nature.

03:26:45.000 You know, it's unmolested nature.

03:26:48.000 What you're smelling is the same thing that people smelled if they lived there a thousand years ago.

03:26:53.000 Yeah.

03:26:53.000 In Utah, there's smog.

03:26:55.000 Especially in Salt Lake.

03:26:58.000 Smog gets heavy.

03:26:59.000 But where I'm at, it's not so bad.

03:27:03.000 But you can see it, like, sunrise, you can see it all.

03:27:07.000 That sucks.

03:27:09.000 Ellie gets it bad.

03:27:10.000 That was one of the craziest things about COVID, is when the lockdown hit and people weren't driving, the air quality's never been better.

03:27:17.000 Like, Los Angeles air quality is amazing.

03:27:21.000 People are like, go outside, breathe the air.

03:27:23.000 This is crazy.

03:27:24.000 Do you think that makes a difference?

03:27:24.000 Oh, it makes a huge difference.

03:27:26.000 If cars aren't driving, it makes a huge difference.

03:27:29.000 It's probably a big part of the problem here.

03:27:33.000 And that's also gonna be a good argument for electric cars, and it's also gonna be a good argument for autonomous vehicles.

03:27:40.000 Less fires and accidents and shit.

03:27:43.000 Where are you from?

03:27:44.000 I was born in New Jersey and mostly grew up in Boston.

03:27:48.000 Yeah, but I lived out here for a while.

03:27:50.000 I lived in California when I was a little kid.

03:27:51.000 You're not a Pats fan, are you?

03:27:52.000 I don't like sports.

03:27:54.000 Sports are whack.

03:27:55.000 I don't know anything about them.

03:27:59.000 I'm a professional sports commentator who doesn't know the rules to sports.

03:28:03.000 I appreciate the athletes.

03:28:04.000 I appreciate what they do.

03:28:06.000 I enjoy watching Michael Jordan highlights or Kobe Bryant highlights or something like that.

03:28:12.000 Or football players who do crazy shit.

03:28:14.000 I love watching them, but...

03:28:15.000 Dallas Cowboys.

03:28:17.000 It's not because it's not exciting.

03:28:19.000 I've watched Super Bowls before.

03:28:21.000 They're fucking exciting.

03:28:22.000 But there's only so much time in a day.

03:28:25.000 And my schedule's full.

03:28:28.000 I'm full up with shit I'm interested in.

03:28:30.000 I can't get into...

03:28:32.000 I can't just start following the NBA, try to figure out all the games.

03:28:35.000 Or Major League Baseball.

03:28:37.000 Oh, well, there's the National League, and then there's the fucking American League.

03:28:40.000 Like, what?

03:28:41.000 I don't know how baseball works.

03:28:43.000 They play so many damn games.

03:28:45.000 They play so many games.

03:28:46.000 Then who's in the playoffs and why?

03:28:49.000 It's like, what's happening here?

03:28:51.000 But it gives people a lot of fucking entertainment, man.

03:28:54.000 If you're bored, you know, like for a lot of folks that are stuck in a shitty job, just like we were talking about driving that 68 Charger or a 68 Camaro to work, for a lot of dudes stuck in a job that doesn't give them any thrills, and they know they have to go...

03:29:09.000 They have to be up in the morning.

03:29:10.000 They don't have time for anything other than watching something.

03:29:12.000 And they can watch a basketball game and get very invested in the fact that they want their team to win or watch a football game or a baseball game.

03:29:19.000 Right.

03:29:19.000 They get invested!

03:29:20.000 Come on, Patriots!

03:29:22.000 No, come on.

03:29:23.000 Let me crack this up.

03:29:25.000 What do you got?

03:29:25.000 What do you got there?

03:29:26.000 Oh, shit.

03:29:27.000 Yeah.

03:29:28.000 Dallas.

03:29:28.000 Cowboys.

03:29:29.000 Yeah, Dallas.

03:29:30.000 He's a Cowboys fan, I can tell.

03:29:32.000 Jamie's from Columbus, Ohio.

03:29:35.000 Got some good Buckeyes on the Cowboys.

03:29:37.000 Yeah, of course.

03:29:38.000 Everything comes out of Ohio.

03:29:40.000 There's something weird about Ohio.

03:29:43.000 Yeah.

03:29:46.000 Football's an awesome sport.

03:29:48.000 I wish it didn't fuck people's brains up as much, but that's just how it is with everything.

03:29:52.000 Everything.

03:29:53.000 Everything dangerous, everything risky, you run the risk of getting injured.

03:29:57.000 I just hope they figure out a way to fix brains, you know?

03:30:01.000 Fix brains or fix helmets.

03:30:03.000 I don't think that's gonna help.

03:30:05.000 When you see some of these guys, the speed that they run at each other and they're colliding The fucking physical strength that these people have.

03:30:16.000 I watched Zeke run.

03:30:18.000 I watched Zeke run and I see this...

03:30:20.000 Zeke just takes a fucking hit.

03:30:24.000 Fucking top.

03:30:25.000 And I'm like...

03:30:26.000 Are you okay?

03:30:29.000 And then he gets right up and does it again.

03:30:31.000 It's...

03:30:32.000 It's like so much respect to fucking...

03:30:36.000 To fighters, to...

03:30:39.000 Fucking football players, basketball players, everybody.

03:30:42.000 Absolutely.

03:30:43.000 They all deserve a lot of respect, but there's just a danger to football, I think, that's not in as many other...

03:30:49.000 This is just my looking at it.

03:30:51.000 There's a real danger to fighting, there's no doubt.

03:30:53.000 But in fighting, there's a person in front of you, and they're trying to do stuff to you, and you should know how to avoid it, and if you don't, that's just how the game works.

03:31:02.000 But in football, there's like dudes running at each other.

03:31:05.000 I mean, you're gonna get hit.

03:31:07.000 Yeah, 20 miles an hour.

03:31:08.000 They're going so fast.

03:31:09.000 They're so strong.

03:31:10.000 And they're running at you.

03:31:12.000 And you're running, and they're running, and it's boom!

03:31:14.000 What about rugby?

03:31:15.000 What about rugby?

03:31:16.000 There's something pure about that, right?

03:31:18.000 Because they don't have the pads.

03:31:19.000 I don't think people would attack the way they attack now if there was no pads.

03:31:25.000 That's an argument for football that's a weird argument, right?

03:31:28.000 Make them play with no helmets and see how they play.

03:31:33.000 Yikes!

03:31:36.000 I was looking at this one time.

03:31:37.000 I think the football protection started from different injuries.

03:31:41.000 Brain injuries were obviously never a worry.

03:31:44.000 Spinal injuries are huge in rugby, and they were big in football before, too.

03:31:49.000 The neck injuries were what they were trying to prevent for a long, long time.

03:31:53.000 Spine injuries.

03:31:54.000 That makes sense.

03:31:55.000 People get paralyzed, and you show that on TV. It's scary as all shit.

03:31:59.000 That makes sense.

03:32:00.000 Nobody wants to play anymore.

03:32:01.000 Wow.

03:32:03.000 So what do you risk?

03:32:04.000 Do you risk that or the brain damage?

03:32:09.000 But that, I don't know, because there's people who are so passionate about it.

03:32:16.000 100%.

03:32:17.000 Yeah.

03:32:17.000 I would never say they shouldn't be able to do it.

03:32:21.000 Yeah.

03:32:21.000 But people should know what it is.

03:32:24.000 You know, when you're playing it.

03:32:26.000 What was the movie that Will Smith did?

03:32:28.000 Yeah.

03:32:28.000 Concussion.

03:32:29.000 Concussion.

03:32:30.000 That was based on an actual doctor.

03:32:32.000 Yeah.

03:32:32.000 I figured out what was going on.

03:32:35.000 It's a fucking amazing sport though.

03:32:38.000 When you're watching crazy shit happen on the field, you're like, I need to be there and see one live.

03:32:43.000 Because that's probably when you really get an understanding about fast and moving.

03:32:46.000 We'll go to AT&T. Biggest stadium in the world, right?

03:32:49.000 That's so God can watch.

03:32:54.000 The roof opens so God can watch.

03:32:56.000 Are you allowed to be there live?

03:32:57.000 No, not yet.

03:32:58.000 Will you be?

03:33:00.000 Ohio Stadium is saying they're going to have 20% capacity.

03:33:04.000 I don't know how much those tickets are going to be, how rare they'll be or whatever, but people probably will be able to be in person at football games if they happen.

03:33:11.000 A limited number of people.

03:33:14.000 God, that's so weird.

03:33:15.000 You know what was bizarre, too, watching the last UFC... No one in the fucking audience.

03:33:22.000 Strange, right?

03:33:23.000 And you get to hear those fuckers getting, like, fucking just cracked on the head.

03:33:29.000 Dude.

03:33:31.000 There's something very exciting about it, man.

03:33:33.000 There's something I almost like about it more, watching it that way.

03:33:39.000 Yeah.

03:33:40.000 It's kind of like you're more there.

03:33:43.000 Well, it's just, there's no denying that, like, a big crowd, an awesome crowd, like a Conor McGregor crowd is crazy.

03:33:51.000 It's a spectacle to see.

03:33:53.000 You know, we're seeing all those people screaming and cheering, and I remember he had Sinead O'Connor sing for him.

03:33:59.000 I was like, holy shit, man.

03:34:01.000 There's, like, green smoke in the air and everything.

03:34:03.000 Like, it was amazing, and everybody's going crazy when Conor makes his way to the cage.

03:34:07.000 Everybody's going crazy.

03:34:09.000 It's just the energy in the room is undeniable.

03:34:11.000 I mean, it's amazing.

03:34:13.000 But there's also something amazing about these two dudes in front of each other where there's no crowd.

03:34:20.000 No one around.

03:34:21.000 And you hear everything.

03:34:21.000 You hear all the impacts.

03:34:23.000 You hear them breathing.

03:34:24.000 You hear them talking shit to each other.

03:34:26.000 The coaches, the corners and everybody.

03:34:30.000 You hear everything.

03:34:30.000 It's so different, man.

03:34:32.000 It almost makes you think that this is really kind of the best way to do it.

03:34:36.000 I want people to be able to see it live, for sure.

03:34:39.000 But there's something about...

03:34:42.000 There's a purity to no audience.

03:34:46.000 I'm saying this from a real selfish place, right?

03:34:48.000 Because I get to be there.

03:34:51.000 And I get it.

03:34:53.000 If they could open it up and it would be safe and everybody could sell tickets, I 100% would want the audience to be full.

03:34:59.000 Don't get me wrong.

03:35:00.000 But there's something about when you're there and there's no audience.

03:35:05.000 First of all, you feel very lucky.

03:35:07.000 I feel very, very lucky to be there.

03:35:09.000 Like, man, there's only 10 people in the room watching Tyron Woodley vs.

03:35:14.000 Gilbert Burns.

03:35:15.000 10 people.

03:35:16.000 And I'm one of these 10 people calling this shit.

03:35:17.000 That's crazy.

03:35:19.000 But then there's also nothing influencing.

03:35:25.000 It's just the fight, man.

03:35:27.000 There's no roar of the crowd.

03:35:29.000 There's nothing.

03:35:30.000 Nothing.

03:35:30.000 It's just the fight.

03:35:32.000 And when it's just a fight, man, you see it break.

03:35:34.000 It's so clean.

03:35:36.000 You see it all break down more.

03:35:37.000 And how much does that affect performance?

03:35:40.000 I wonder.

03:35:41.000 I'm asking you.

03:35:42.000 I wonder.

03:35:42.000 I think people vary.

03:35:44.000 I think some people feed off the crowd, and they love it, and they love the pressure, and then some people, they're better off if there's no crowd.

03:35:50.000 Some people probably fight better.

03:35:52.000 It's almost like a sparring session in an empty gym.

03:35:57.000 You know, there's no one there.

03:35:58.000 Sometimes the physical people in front of you, like just 20,000 people, screaming and cheering for George St. Pierre, and you're like, fuck!

03:36:08.000 And you got to realize like you have to perform all these people hate you They all want you to lose and they all stand there watching you about to fight one of the you know Greatest fighters of all time if you're gonna fight George St. Pierre You gotta get your ass kicked.

03:36:20.000 Is he a nice guy?

03:36:21.000 He's a super nice guy.

03:36:23.000 I want him to be a nice guy.

03:36:24.000 He is as nice as possible.

03:36:26.000 GSP is my shit.

03:36:28.000 That guy's a real warrior in the best sense of the word.

03:36:32.000 Meaning, like, if you wanted to have your kid emulate someone who's a martial artist, a gentleman, a really interesting person who thinks a lot about things and treats martial arts as an art form and a discipline and a way to express himself and a way to show that he could be the best,

03:36:52.000 He's as positive a human being as you're ever going to meet.

03:36:55.000 Georges St-Pierre is so positive in so many ways.

03:36:57.000 He's such a nice guy.

03:37:00.000 And undeniably one of the best fighters of all time.

03:37:03.000 Yeah, there's no fucking...

03:37:04.000 But such a nice guy.

03:37:06.000 People would take him for granted.

03:37:11.000 Yeah, until it's too late.

03:37:14.000 He's so nice you wouldn't realize this guy's a killer.

03:37:18.000 He's a fucking killer.

03:37:19.000 But when you're around him, like, he's so nice.

03:37:21.000 You can't believe he beats people up for a living.

03:37:24.000 He gets that shit out inside the cage.

03:37:27.000 I saw Anderson Silva once in London.

03:37:29.000 Oh yeah?

03:37:30.000 Did you see him fight?

03:37:31.000 No.

03:37:32.000 I just saw him at the airport.

03:37:34.000 I saw him at Heathrow.

03:37:36.000 Another super, super nice guy.

03:37:39.000 Anderson is so nice.

03:37:40.000 He's one of my faves.

03:37:42.000 He's so friendly.

03:37:43.000 Is he?

03:37:43.000 He's so nice.

03:37:44.000 Very, very, very nice.

03:37:46.000 I got to see Anderson when he first burst.

03:37:48.000 I was a fan of Anderson's before he made it to the UFC. He was fighting at Cage Rage in the UK. He was dominating people.

03:37:56.000 I was watching these videos online.

03:37:57.000 I was like, God damn, this guy is amazing.

03:37:59.000 I remember he fought for Pride, too.

03:38:01.000 But he was getting better.

03:38:02.000 And then it all came together for him during the years he was fighting in the UK. And that's when everybody had their eye on him.

03:38:08.000 And he beat Lee Murray, and he beat Jorge Rivera.

03:38:12.000 I mean, he was a monster.

03:38:13.000 Tony Fricklin, he hit him with this crazy elbow that he practiced.

03:38:17.000 That crazy upward step-in, upward elbow.

03:38:21.000 He was a wizard.

03:38:22.000 So when he came over to the UFC, we caught him right at his prime.

03:38:26.000 And it's arguable that prime Anderson Silva was the best martial artist ever.

03:38:32.000 It's real arguable.

03:38:33.000 When he knocked out Vitor Belfort with that front kick to the face, I mean, some of the shit that he did, man, some of the knockouts that he had, like, he had ESP. He knew where people were gonna be.

03:38:43.000 Right.

03:38:44.000 And he had knuckles waiting for him.

03:38:45.000 Right.

03:38:46.000 When he was on, and no fighter can stay on that level for very long, the human body just breaks down.

03:38:51.000 But there's a time where Anderson was so good, I'd put him up against anybody that ever lived.

03:38:57.000 There was a time, it was a few years, where the Rich Franklin years, like Anderson was unstoppable.

03:39:03.000 Where did he fight at?

03:39:05.000 Where?

03:39:06.000 What did he fight at?

03:39:08.000 What weight?

03:39:09.000 185. It was 185. So he probably really walked around like 200 plus pounds and would cut weight to 185. So what is that, light?

03:39:16.000 That's middleweight.

03:39:17.000 He was the middleweight champion.

03:39:18.000 I would like to see John and Anderson.

03:39:22.000 That would have been an amazing fight in its day.

03:39:25.000 It would be not a good fight now.

03:39:26.000 Right.

03:39:27.000 John's in his prime and Anderson is, you know, I think...

03:39:30.000 Right.

03:39:30.000 No, but like prime time, like...

03:39:32.000 It would have been interesting.

03:39:33.000 John is a big man.

03:39:36.000 I met John.

03:39:38.000 He's a sweet dude, too.

03:39:39.000 Super sweet guy.

03:39:41.000 John is a big man, though.

03:39:43.000 He's big.

03:39:43.000 He's from Rochester.

03:39:44.000 He's from where my grandparents live.

03:39:46.000 He could easily be a heavyweight.

03:39:48.000 Easily, if he wanted to.

03:39:51.000 He's one of those guys that could go easily back and forth between 205 and heavyweight if he decided to take enough time to do it.

03:39:59.000 He's fucking strong as fuck.

03:40:01.000 When you watch him grab guys and ragdoll them around, there's a weird strength to him that you see with some of these really elite grapplers.

03:40:10.000 Some of these guys, like when you see top of the food chain grapplers like Yoel Romero, there's something about grabbing people your whole life and throwing them around like Brock Lesnar.

03:40:19.000 There's grabbing people's strength.

03:40:20.000 Brock Lesnar's a fucking dog.

03:40:22.000 He was ridiculous.

03:40:24.000 He was ridiculous.

03:40:25.000 Yeah.

03:40:26.000 Dude, he was so powerful.

03:40:27.000 Yeah.

03:40:28.000 That motherfucker.

03:40:29.000 It's all in these.

03:40:30.000 What are these?

03:40:31.000 He's everything.

03:40:31.000 Traps.

03:40:32.000 The trapezies.

03:40:34.000 Bro, he was like 43% traps.

03:40:37.000 He was so strong.

03:40:39.000 He's such a big human being, man.

03:40:42.000 Like that shit, man, that's grown in the lab.

03:40:45.000 That's some Viking DNA right there.

03:40:47.000 Man, that's nuts.

03:40:48.000 That's the lab of the sea.

03:40:50.000 Created that thing.

03:40:54.000 That's 100% Viking DNA. Have you ever wanted to know what Vikings looked like when they were terrifying?

03:40:59.000 He's fucking Brock Lesnar.

03:41:01.000 Yeah.

03:41:02.000 Yeah, look at those.

03:41:03.000 Come on, son.

03:41:04.000 Look at those motherfuckers.

03:41:06.000 A brass knuckle sword up the top of his chest.

03:41:09.000 Yo, that is the hardest tattoo, too.

03:41:11.000 Bro, it's hard as fuck.

03:41:12.000 Fucking trench knife just running up his fucking chest.

03:41:16.000 Doesn't it say death clutch on his back or something, too?

03:41:21.000 Google what's on his back.

03:41:23.000 He's got some crazy shit on his back, too.

03:41:25.000 Just Google Brock Lesnar's back.

03:41:27.000 Yeah, his back has like a skull.

03:41:30.000 Yeah, click it.

03:41:31.000 There it is.

03:41:32.000 That's his back.

03:41:33.000 Yeah.

03:41:34.000 It's got meat hooks.

03:41:35.000 Damn, the meat hooks.

03:41:37.000 Dripping zombie meat hooks.

03:41:40.000 And below it is like a demon head.

03:41:44.000 Like, okay.

03:41:45.000 I love how they put the little bit of blonde in the black and white photo.

03:41:51.000 Look at the size of him.

03:41:54.000 Come on, man.

03:41:54.000 That is one of the most preposterous humans that has ever existed.

03:41:58.000 I'm trying to look.

03:41:59.000 Come on.

03:41:59.000 It's perfect.

03:42:00.000 Look at the size of Brock Lesnar.

03:42:02.000 It's perfect.

03:42:02.000 That motherfucker was so big.

03:42:04.000 Man.

03:42:05.000 The fact that this guy...

03:42:06.000 Look at that.

03:42:07.000 You gotta think of all his accomplishments, because someone put a video up about him, and it showed all the shit that he did.

03:42:14.000 He won a national championship, NCAA Division I national championship in wrestling.

03:42:21.000 He went on to play for the Minnesota Vikings.

03:42:25.000 What?

03:42:26.000 Yes.

03:42:26.000 When?

03:42:27.000 He played.

03:42:28.000 I don't know.

03:42:28.000 He was on field.

03:42:29.000 He got a tackle.

03:42:30.000 There's a video of it.

03:42:32.000 Then he went.

03:42:33.000 It was the Minnesota Vikings, right?

03:42:35.000 He's a Minnesota guy.

03:42:36.000 Training camp, yeah.

03:42:36.000 Yeah.

03:42:37.000 Oh, so it was in training camp.

03:42:38.000 So it was not an official game?

03:42:39.000 I don't think so.

03:42:40.000 I think it was like a training camp.

03:42:42.000 Like a scrimmage?

03:42:44.000 Something like that?

03:42:44.000 Yeah, preseason game.

03:42:45.000 So, okay.

03:42:47.000 Preseason game.

03:42:48.000 So he played preseason at least for the Vikings.

03:42:53.000 Playing what?

03:42:54.000 Linebacker?

03:42:57.000 But it was the Vikings, right?

03:42:59.000 So he goes from there to the WWE, then he goes from the WWE to the fucking UFC Heavyweight Championship of the world.

03:43:13.000 I mean, there it is.

03:43:15.000 What?

03:43:15.000 He's jersey number 69, too.

03:43:17.000 I like his style.

03:43:19.000 That's the funny number.

03:43:22.000 69, bro.

03:43:23.000 You know how to do it.

03:43:24.000 Yeah.

03:43:25.000 Yeah.

03:43:25.000 Respect.

03:43:28.000 So you have to legitimately wonder, how does one make a human like that?

03:43:38.000 How many humans like that have ever existed?

03:43:41.000 Just all the shit that he's done!

03:43:43.000 That's fucking crazy!

03:43:45.000 Yeah, you need to crisper him before he dies.

03:43:49.000 Because if we have an army of Brock Lesnar's, bulletproof Brock Lesnar's, that's what everybody's gonna be.

03:43:55.000 Is he a nice guy?

03:43:56.000 A very nice guy.

03:43:57.000 Yeah, a very nice guy.

03:43:58.000 He has a beautiful smile, like a pure smile.

03:44:01.000 You know what he is, man?

03:44:03.000 He's a guy who wants challenges.

03:44:05.000 To do what he did when he was a WWE champion, so he's the champion of this wrestling entertainment thing, and then he goes from that into the UFC and wins the real heavyweight title and beats a legend in Randy Couture.

03:44:23.000 That's bananas.

03:44:24.000 That's crazy.

03:44:26.000 That's so rare that a guy can do so many fucking things.

03:44:30.000 Crazy.

03:44:31.000 What's his style?

03:44:32.000 What's his martial art?

03:44:34.000 He's a wrestler.

03:44:35.000 But he can do everything.

03:44:36.000 He can strike for sure.

03:44:38.000 He's knocked guys out.

03:44:39.000 He's got ridiculous submissions.

03:44:42.000 He crushes people's heads.

03:44:44.000 Just a huge man.

03:44:45.000 You have to be really good to beat a guy like that.

03:44:49.000 And guys have beaten him.

03:44:50.000 He got tapped by Frank Mir, got him in a leg lock, caught him, didn't really understand submissions.

03:44:55.000 Alistair Overeem beat him after he had a colon surgery.

03:45:00.000 When he was at his best, he was a terrifying guy too.

03:45:04.000 Him and Brock Lesnar is the battle of the specimens.

03:45:08.000 Have you ever seen that fight between him and Brock Lesnar?

03:45:11.000 Alistair Overeem?

03:45:12.000 That was the battle of the specimens.

03:45:16.000 Strong-ass motherfucker.

03:45:18.000 He didn't even put anything into that punch, too.

03:45:22.000 All it has to do is land.

03:45:23.000 He's so big.

03:45:24.000 This was, you know, Randy Couture, too.

03:45:26.000 You're talking about a guy who's one of the all-time greats.

03:45:29.000 He's on the Mount Rushmore, for sure.

03:45:31.000 That's how big Brock Lesnar is.

03:45:33.000 Where's he from?

03:45:34.000 I talked to Randy about it afterwards.

03:45:34.000 He goes, that was a big son of a bitch.

03:45:36.000 Where's he from?

03:45:37.000 Brock Lesnar's from Nebraska.

03:45:39.000 No shit.

03:45:40.000 Yeah, but he's a viking.

03:45:43.000 Definitely.

03:45:44.000 If you got some DNA on that dude.

03:45:46.000 Oh my god.

03:45:48.000 And he's fat.

03:45:49.000 Yo, he's fast.

03:45:51.000 He's very fast.

03:45:52.000 Well, he's just a spectacular athlete.

03:45:54.000 I mean, you gotta deal with some crazy shit with this guy.

03:45:58.000 He's a big fella.

03:45:59.000 And again, he did lose some fights, but you gotta realize all the shit he was doing instead of fighting for so long.

03:46:07.000 If Brock Lesnar had just decided to fight from the time he left college, if he never did football, if he never fucked with anything else outside of actual fighting, and just started smashing people, oh my god.

03:46:22.000 Who knows how good he could have gotten.

03:46:25.000 Like, when he was in college, if he just embraced MMA the way he embraced wrestling, who knows?

03:46:32.000 I mean, this is when he beat Frank Mir up.

03:46:35.000 That was a particularly brutal knockout.

03:46:39.000 He was an undeniable man.

03:46:42.000 It just makes you wonder with a guy like that, like, what if he started earlier?

03:46:46.000 Because...

03:46:47.000 Within his first few fights as a professional, he won the heavyweight champion.

03:46:52.000 I think it was really early in his career.

03:46:55.000 Go to his mixed martial arts record.

03:46:59.000 How many fights he had.

03:47:01.000 That's what I wanted to ask you too.

03:47:02.000 Does that carry over?

03:47:05.000 Does what carry over?

03:47:09.000 Wins, losses.

03:47:10.000 That carries over from each program.

03:47:15.000 Or each...

03:47:18.000 So if it's like Bellator or anything, so you fight for Bellator and then you go to UFC. They have contracts.

03:47:27.000 So if you're a Bellator fighter, you would be contractually obligated to fight only for Bellator.

03:47:32.000 No, right, but do those wins from Bellator carry over to you?

03:47:35.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

03:47:36.000 And that's across all...

03:47:38.000 Yeah, all organizations.

03:47:40.000 Yeah, it's your professional record.

03:47:41.000 And then, you know, they'll have like a Bellator record or a UFC record.

03:47:44.000 So it was his fourth fight.

03:47:46.000 Fourth fight as a professional.

03:47:47.000 He won the world title for Randy Couture.

03:47:50.000 That's crazy.

03:47:51.000 Wow.

03:47:52.000 Crazy.

03:47:53.000 Then he beat Frank Mir to Defendant, who's a fantastic champion.

03:47:58.000 Shane Carwin, another amazing champion.

03:48:00.000 Then he lost to Cain Velasquez and lost to Alistair.

03:48:04.000 Then he beat Mark Hunt and then he retired.

03:48:06.000 I love Mark Hunt too.

03:48:08.000 Mark Hunt was awesome.

03:48:10.000 I love Max Holloway.

03:48:12.000 He's an amazing kickboxer too.

03:48:13.000 Mark Hunt, like in K1, he was probably at his best.

03:48:16.000 He was a K1 Grand Prix champion.

03:48:18.000 You know, I mean, he really learned like the wrestling, the jiu-jitsu and all that stuff later on.

03:48:24.000 You know, when he was a kickboxer, he was one of the best alive.

03:48:28.000 He's a tank too, man.

03:48:29.000 Big guy.

03:48:30.000 Yeah, he's like 5'10", but he's like that wide.

03:48:32.000 Big guy.

03:48:35.000 Again, that's like, you know, you got your Samoan DNA, you got your Viking DNA, stout folk.

03:48:45.000 Stout folk.

03:48:48.000 We should probably end this podcast.

03:48:49.000 Just fucking fighting.

03:48:50.000 Oh, yeah.

03:48:51.000 It's probably like, it's been how many hours?

03:48:53.000 Four hours?

03:48:54.000 Are we in four?

03:48:55.000 Jesus.

03:48:56.000 Wow.

03:48:57.000 Talking up a storm, son.

03:48:58.000 Well, I had to pee.

03:49:00.000 I did too.

03:49:01.000 This was fun, man.

03:49:03.000 This is a ridiculous bullshit session.

03:49:04.000 It was very fun.

03:49:05.000 Yeah, what an incredible bullshit session.

03:49:07.000 It was really good.

03:49:08.000 I enjoyed it.

03:49:09.000 I enjoyed the Bud Light.

03:49:10.000 Enjoyed your company.

03:49:12.000 Thanks, man.

03:49:13.000 Thanks for joining us.

03:49:13.000 No, thank you.

03:49:15.000 All right.

03:49:15.000 Bye, everybody.

03:49:16.000 See ya.

03:49:21.000 We've done that for four hours.

The Joe Rogan Experience - July 29, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1516 - Post Malone

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