In this episode, the boys talk about how they missed each other after being apart for 6 months, how they got back together, and what they're up to now. Also, we talk about malaria and what it means for the future of our world. Don't miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Please do not use this music unless otherwise specified. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, and do not represent those of any other companies. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced and edited by our patrons and is not in any way affiliated with any of the artists mentioned in the podcast. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and/or wherever else you get your music recommendations. Thank you so much for all the support, we really appreciate it. we really do appreciate all the love, support, and appreciate all of the support we get from you. Love ya. Cheers, bye. Cheers. - Cheers! - The Cheers - Jon and Matt Jon & Matt. Tim & Kami <3 - Jon & Caitlyn Caitlyn & Kacie (Music by Jon and Kami (and the rest of the crew & the crew at The Cheezburger Crews) - Caitlyn's Music by Jon & Kaitlyn's music is by Kami's Music is by and the rest at The Good Fight Crew Kami and the Good Fight Club is produced and produced by . and The Bad Ass Crew by , and the Badass Crews by The Good Ass Crew. and , & The Goodness Crew - and by the Crew at the Goodbye, and The Badass Boys . . Thank You, and we hope you all enjoy this is a little more than just a little bit more than a little less than a quarter of an hour and a half, but not less than an hour long, but more than that, but a lot more. Thanks for listening and a whole lot more! and we appreciate all your support and love you can't thank you for your support.
00:01:54.000And so he goes over there, he gets malaria, like deathly ill, comes back, and then he beats it, does all the medication, and then a long time later, he gets really sick, and when he gets sick, the malaria kicks back in again.
00:02:48.000I just put this on my Twitter or my Instagram that they released or they're about to release some fucking untold hundreds of millions of genetically modified mosquitoes in the Everglades.
00:04:07.000It's like in a car accident, the first person to apologize, it's their fault, so you gotta just get out in the car accident and just be like, what the fuck, man?
00:04:22.000Which you told me after I got in a car accident.
00:04:24.000The one advice my dad gave me that was the best advice was, when you're in a car accident, never say sorry because you'll get blamed for it.
00:04:44.000I was thinking about you because you posted that irresistible, that book the other day.
00:04:48.000Dude, I re-ended someone texting like a year ago and I got out and I was like, I know I need to have a consequence for this behavior because I was texting and driving.
00:04:55.000Well, you have to get the consequence, Caitlyn Jenner.
00:05:40.000Yeah, his ideas are very unique, funny, smart.
00:05:43.000Something that was so important at the Comedy Store the other night is that these last six months have sort of hoodwinked me into believing that jokes are dead, that we're not allowed to make jokes anymore.
00:05:53.000Because Twitter, we're hallucinating with all the shit we're seeing on Twitter and blowing it up to be bigger than it should be.
00:06:00.000But as soon as I saw Tony Hinchcliffe, I threw up.
00:06:03.000I said the most offensive shit possible and everyone exploded and laughed and I was like, ah!
00:06:18.000But I don't think we're designed to just be on the internet.
00:06:20.000If you're just on the internet and not seeing human beings and making jokes around actual people, you can be tricked into thinking that that shit's real.
00:06:27.000Well, Stanhope really said it best once.
00:06:29.000He said, I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comics.
00:06:31.000And that's what the other night was like.
00:06:33.000I've had my little fix where I did a weekend in Houston a month or so ago, but it wasn't as fun as that night.
00:06:39.000That night was the most fun because it was just a bunch of comics just laughing at each other.
00:06:46.000Screaming, laughing, talking over each other.
00:06:50.000But it's the art form of saying shit you don't really mean and everyone knows it.
00:06:55.000We all know, like if you say something really gross to me, I know you don't mean it and I'm laughing hard.
00:07:01.000It's like it's understood and it's also understood that you're taking a big fucking chance with our friendship by saying this crazy shit around me.
00:08:45.000Well, the pink hair thing I wrote about you, I was like, is she going to get mad at me about that?
00:08:48.000She tweeted, we were FaceTiming last night, and she tweeted, or Instagrammed a picture of it, and she goes, Annie Letterman, you're a mess.
00:09:01.000Some people have weird Achilles heels, you know?
00:09:03.000Some people have weird, I mean, I'm doing the roasts all the time.
00:09:06.000It's amazing how you can accuse people of rape and say, like, crazy shit, racist shit, but then as soon as you say, like, your dog's ugly, like, They want to fucking storm off.
00:10:55.000He went like, that was funny, and then he liked me afterwards, and I was scared because I was like, is he going to tell me how my jokes suck now?
00:11:03.000But then he said something else where he said to someone, you know, you're really good, you're going to be very successful, and I was like, yeah, but just don't take financial advice from Dan Cook.
00:11:10.000He was like, don't hire his business manager.
00:11:12.000His story that he told in your mom's house of how his brother stole his money is terrifying.
00:12:15.000So the fear of that must have been terrifying.
00:12:17.000Yeah, and I think the assistant, he told a story.
00:12:19.000He had overdosed on Tylenol PM or something.
00:12:23.000And if you take enough of that, your body goes into shock and you produce crazy adrenaline and has the opposite of a soporific effect or something.
00:12:29.000So the guy was like hopped up and nuts.
00:14:28.000But also the same people that are complaining about it are the people that watch true crime shit and are literally masturbating and falling asleep to a beautiful tale of murder.
00:14:39.000Yeah, see, they watch CSI, they watch SVU, all these things.
00:14:42.000Isn't it weird how many of those shows there are?
00:15:52.000I remember one time I was at the Brea Improv, high as fuck, like way too high, and I was sitting there just breathing heavy, and Joan Rivers' show came on the television, and when you see someone with those fillers in their face and the ratio's all off, and their face isn't moving,
00:16:40.000If you mess one thing up, you're going to have to move everything else.
00:16:43.000But I was reading something about body dysmorphia, about how we've gotten so dysmorphic about what we look like, because we're always looking at ourselves on screens and in photos, which is the reverse of how other people see us.
00:16:53.000And they say that if you were to see yourself out in the world, you wouldn't be able to recognize yourself.
00:17:09.000But we're just so dysmorphic about what we- We have Google alerts on ourselves, okay?
00:17:13.000People say ridiculous shit sometimes, and it kind of sort of makes sense, but it doesn't.
00:17:17.000I remember reading once that the Native Americans, when they first saw Columbus and the people in the boats coming, They couldn't see them?
00:17:24.000They couldn't see them because they didn't know what that was.
00:17:58.000How the fuck do you know what they saw?
00:17:59.000I think the more fascinating thing about what you're saying is the fact that people are so willing to believe it, which is why we're in the situation we're in.
00:18:58.000I was like, Whitney, you know, we're the same age.
00:18:59.000You're just way more successful than me.
00:19:02.000I think of you as being, like, 20, and I think of me as being, like, 71. Well, she had, like, a blackout segment of her life that, like, doesn't count.
00:25:18.000I was like, the way you move your hands, it's similar to martial arts because when someone's really good at a martial arts move, they have it just, the pathway is just greased and slicked in their neurons and when they do it, it just goes.
00:25:30.000And that was kind of him with his hands.
00:25:32.000I was watching him move the cards around and I was like, whoa.
00:25:34.000Like someone who plays guitar really good.
00:25:52.000He goes back in time to cancel people from the past.
00:25:56.000He says a tweet, he says like a mildly racist tweet like, is it just me or does Indian food smell funny?
00:26:03.000And then he has to throw himself into a wood chipper.
00:26:06.000And so a team of incredibly diverse women scientists rebuild him and they put him back together again like the six million dollar man out of the wood chipper and then they turn him into a much more woke version of himself who's a time-canceller.
00:26:17.000So he's part machine and he goes back in time and cancels people.
00:26:41.000You know, I think people should be able to make their own decisions.
00:26:44.000Well, I think that there's ways to do it.
00:26:45.000We could do the weird social distance things, you know, where it could either be outside or it could be, you know, people are far back and spread out wearing masks.
00:26:55.000It makes no sense that people are allowed to go outside, have socially distanced meals, but as soon as someone stands up with a microphone and starts talking...
00:29:05.000Well, bootleg shirts, there's a lot of my shirts that are bootleg, a lot of mugs and stuff that are bootleg, all these different things that have nothing to do with me with my face on it.
00:29:12.000Guys, this is sponsored by the Joe Rogan Podcast Experience.
00:29:24.000Every time I'm at the comedy store and we're talking, it somehow turns into you fighting bears.
00:29:28.000I swear to God, every conversation, we could be talking about fucking anything, and then it's like three minutes in, once you walk in, I'm like, and we're fighting bears again.
00:31:00.000The bear's gonna also agree that it's not that bad, but it's got I touch one little one and it's a lot of them Most likely if a mountain lion even if you have a knife if a mountain lion gets you you're fucked They're just too strong.
00:31:10.000Yeah, and they'll go straight for your face.
00:31:11.000You want a fighting chance You want to just be able to sink something into their neck I watch The Covenant every day.
00:33:19.000Yeah, his rhythm and his timing was off.
00:33:21.000And he was joking around, kind of, but he also knew that something really was wrong, so they called the paramedics, they checked Ronnie, he did have a fucking stroke.
00:33:29.000So he had a stroke while he was out there doing stand-up, which is crazy.
00:33:33.000Didn't someone die on stage doing stand-up?
00:33:35.000Two people have, there was a British guy, I don't know his name, who had a heart attack on stage, and then there was years ago, Jim Norton had posted a clip of it, there's a clip of it, it was a live kind of variety show, and there was this guy, I can't remember his name, I wish I remembered it, but he, um, He was doing a bit in front of a curtain and live television,
00:33:56.000and he passes out and falls out, and they're all laughing, thinking it's part of the bit, and then you see them drag him out.
00:34:18.000Dude, I always think I was telling Whitney about this when you were like flexing your pecs or something in the kitchen of the comedy store and I was like, I want to try it.
00:34:26.000And you're like, ew, put your tits away.
00:34:30.000It is so funny because so many people want to go female comics, male comics.
00:34:39.000I feel like we're together, we're so weirdly genderless.
00:34:55.000A friend of mine who is a philosopher, a very smart guy, tried to explain it to me, and he's just completely independent of this.
00:35:01.000He's like, you guys have to understand that you're little, and he's not a comic at all, he's like, this little group of people is like a walled garden.
00:35:07.000So there's a lot of people on the outside of it that see you guys having so much fun and doing all these things together and having each other on each other's podcasts.
00:35:14.000There's just an automatic feeling in human nature to feel like you're alienated from that group.
00:35:19.000So that group somehow or another disrespects you.
00:35:21.000That group is negative or bad or mean or this or that.
00:37:52.000How many grown adults, once you get to a certain age, you're in your 30s, you're with your friends, you don't have that kind of a life where you can go and be with your peers.
00:39:17.000So she, okay, so Whitney was, like, she was, like, giving her assessment of my set or whatever, and she's, like, she goes, she goes, I just feel like you need to smile more, and I was, like, I was, like, smile more?
00:39:29.000I was, like, what is this in the streets?
00:39:31.000Like, I was, like, and I was, like, in a hyper, like, fight mode, and I was, like, smile more?
00:40:25.000One time we were talking in the back at the, we were in the green room and in the main room and you go, we're talking about rape or something.
00:40:32.000And you go, and you go, you go, you go, I'm sorry, I'm not listening to anything you're saying.
00:40:37.000I'm just thinking about whether my face is shiny.
00:42:19.000I will say, though, when you go, I feel like our text chains, like comedians' text chains, if they ever get out, we're all going to get canceled.
00:42:26.000There's one time I was like, we should all delete these.
00:42:29.000There was one where we got so ridiculous.
00:44:04.000Florida has some wacky laws with that stuff.
00:44:07.000That's why they prosecuted certain like pornographers because they decided that it was, you know, that's why they prosecuted the two live crew.
00:44:15.000Like it's like Broward County, Florida.
00:44:19.000There was one guy was a really famous case and it really opened up a lot of people's eyes in terms of pornography.
00:44:25.000There was this guy who was like known to be like ultra disgusting.
00:44:29.000Like the stuff that he did was like super abusive and like he would open up girls assholes like with a speculum and then piss inside of them and like crazy.
00:44:38.000It kinda sounds like it would feel good.
00:45:28.000But then the other perspective is, okay, what if this is your 18-year-old daughter who gets off of a Greyhound bus and meets this guy, and she has no idea what she's about to do, and she thinks she's going to do just like a sex movie, and this guy's pissing in her eyeballs and punching her in the face.
00:45:50.000Have you ever had a guy try to pee on you?
00:45:51.000No, but I had like one guy that I was like, it was like the guy that we weren't, we were just going to like do the things that we'd never done.
00:45:58.000And we just ended up not liking each other so we didn't bang again.
00:46:00.000But I was like, I would let you pee on me.
00:46:02.000Do the things you've never done, what?
00:48:19.000No, but I used to hear these women, there was like a show on VH1, these like rock stars wives who would always make their husbands who were like touring on the road come outside of them when they first came home to make sure they weren't cheating because they thought they'd have- They wanted to see how much cum there was?
00:48:34.000How much cum they had, but that's not how it works.