Comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan joins Jemele to talk about how to get back into the swing of things after a long break. They also talk about what it's like to be a stand-up comedian and how to deal with the pressures of being in the limelight and performing in front of thousands of people. Joe also talks about his love of tequilas and tequila, and how he's trying to figure out how to drink less and get back in the swing with standup comedy. They also discuss how to handle the pressure of being a standup comedian, and why it's important to have a good night out with your friends. And, of course, they talk about the importance of getting back into shape after a break from standup and how important it is to get your ass to the gym and get into shape in order to get ready to do it all again. Joe and Jemele also discuss what it means to be an entertainer and what it takes to be good at standup, and what to do to make the most out of it. It's a fun, lighthearted conversation that's sure to have some laughs and a lot of good times. Enjoy, and tweet us what you think of it! if you like what you heard! Timestamps: 0:00 - What's your favorite part of the show? 6:30 - What do you like about it? 7:15 - What are you looking for in a comedian? 8:20 - How do you feel about comedy? 9: what do you want to do more? 10:00 11:40 - Who do you would like to see me do more comedy in the future? 15:00 -- what are you getting back? 16:30 -- What are your favorite drink? 17:20 -- What do I need to do in the next episode? 18:40 -- How much do you need to get better? 19:15 -- What would you like to hear from me? 22:00 | How do I feel about a comic? 27:30 | What are we getting back in shape? 26:15 | What s your favorite thing? 29:30 30:10 -- how do you think I m going to do next? 32:40 -- what do I get back from a night out? 35:40 | Should I get my act back in order?
00:01:15.000When you're in that weird little group, I think comics want to think that they're independent in some sort of way, that they don't need other comics.
00:01:25.000And you could survive without other comics, but those are like army issue MREs.
00:01:40.000You can live, but are you going to enjoy it?
00:01:42.000Well, the pandemic's a bitch because you can't do stand-up, but when you get that moment when you're hanging out with the other guys again, you're like, oh, this is what I've been missing.
00:06:04.000So now, we're in the back, and he's cracking jokes, we're laughing, we're talking shit, we're having fun, having a couple of drinks, and then, boom, he goes on stage, loose as a goose, already having fun.
00:06:20.000It is, because social, you need that social lube.
00:06:22.000Like, you ever fly to Arkansas, you get off the plane, you get into a car, you go right on stage, and you're like, ah, you guys are the first people I've spoken to in 17 hours.
00:07:26.000Seinfeld said it was like when a car train goes by, like a train goes by, and one of the cars is missing, and you have to jump it with a motorcycle.
00:07:42.000It is weird, though, going back to dropping your whole act, because speaking of Seinfeld and 80s guys, they did their act for 700 years, you know?
00:07:50.000But, like, we just drop it, and we work so hard on it.
00:07:55.000It almost feels like those people who take in dogs, and then they fall in love with it, and they're like, okay, I fostered a dog, now it's good to go with a family.
00:08:11.000But it has to be gone for you to concentrate on what you're doing now because we only have a certain amount of room for material in our head.
00:08:21.000When you got an hour and you know how that feeling of the beginning and the middle and you're moving stuff around trying to find out what's the best way to end it.
00:08:29.000When you have it down, it requires all of your attention.
00:08:33.000You can't really be fucking around with some other subjects and other old shit and other things that you're thinking about bringing back or something.
00:09:35.000Because the UFC was doing a gig in New York City every year, and then before that, at least once a year, I'd come there to do stand-up anywhere.
00:09:43.000I'd do Gotham or, you know, Carolines or what have you.
00:09:53.000Because you change so much from just high school to now, or college to now, and then you get married, and then you change again, maybe, when you're 62?
00:10:02.000And then you're stuck with this plus-size lady, and you don't know what the hell to do and how to get out, and then you can't meet anybody new because you're 62. That's the problem with the contract of marriage, right?
00:10:12.000That's the problem is that it is a legal contract.
00:10:59.000Who else do we know of that has made money off of like a high profile divorce where the woman had all the money?
00:11:05.000There's a new one that just came out with an actress that just divorced a guy and he was a nobody and he's cleaning up but I can't think of who it is.
00:16:40.000Well, then there's the question, right?
00:16:43.000Like, when a management company and talent are together, how much of the talent's success is due to the management, and how much of the talent's success is due just to the person being talented?
00:18:06.000And then I was real loose, and then I went into some of my old stuff, and I got off stage and this guy handed me a business card, like a fucking movie.
00:18:22.000And I did one next door, across the street, like, the next night, and then I went to New York, like, maybe two weeks later, and did a bunch of sets for him in New York.
00:18:40.000So with that kind of a situation, that guy and Chandra, my other manager, they're responsible for a giant part of my success.
00:18:51.000Because I know them so well, and I've been with them so much, and I trust them, and I love them, and we have a friendship as well as a working relationship.
00:21:04.000Do you get mad at that, or do you think that's part of the film?
00:21:07.000Do you think that this is endorsing violence?
00:21:10.000No, you think it's a kind of weird art where this craziness is happening.
00:21:14.000But for whatever reason, because a stand-up is on stage by themselves and they wrote this by themselves, they're not given that same sort of leeway.
00:21:20.000You can't just fuck around about something and say something you don't really mean, but it's outrageous and you're not supposed to say it.
00:21:27.000That's the reason why it's funny, is because you're saying something you're not supposed to say.
00:21:31.000I agree, because also there's layers to a movie.
00:21:34.000With a comic, you can just yell at you.
00:21:40.000Look at this piece of shit saying this about special needs Downsy kids or whatever.
00:21:44.000But then with Tarantino, it's a director, it's a filmmaker, there's actors involved, and he was a writer, so there's so many different tackles.
00:23:03.000But if you're telling me that, you know, like Louis C.K. is a great example of that, like, people kind of weren't paying attention or conveniently forgot.
00:23:58.000I did a show in PA a couple days ago, or a couple nights ago, and I did a couple wheelchair jokes about people in wheelchairs making fun of them.
00:24:07.000And I get off stage, and I'm selling merch, and this lady rolls up in a wheelchair.
00:26:58.000Those are the loudest voices against very successful, outrageous guys like Louie or like Joey Diaz or like many of the other ones that people get mad at for bits.
00:27:10.000It just knew, though, the comics attacking comics.
00:27:50.000And I think comics more so than any of us, right?
00:27:52.000That's what led people to take the abuse of bombing on stage and keep going.
00:27:57.000But some people, they just harbor this resentment for all the bad feelings that the art form has provided with them.
00:28:04.000And they somehow or another, those bad feelings of not getting the success they felt they deserved or not achieving the heights or the accolades that they thought they needed, they should have gotten, they'll fucking internalize the negativity of the art form.
00:28:20.000And that's what they want to concentrate on all the time.
00:31:23.000I think that, again, comes from the same kind of thing that we were talking about with comedy, that a lot of people in their head, they don't think about how lucky they are to be a comic.
00:31:31.000They think of how fucking, just so filled my life with frustration and fuck, and it's because of these fucks and that fuck, and I didn't get where I wanted to be because of fucks like you, that fucks like him, or fucks like her.
00:31:45.000I think that's the same thing with almost everything.
00:32:29.000Yeah, like, even if the crowd is a bunch of mooks on Long Island or some country club, you should still try to figure out a way to get them.
00:32:36.000You're the entertainment for the night.
00:34:59.000That sacrifice for that good feeling of dishonesty, that feeling where you're like, yeah, fuck them, that you could turn your anger on external sources.
00:37:38.000I'm so concerned about everybody's feelings and how I perceive and everybody hating me that I'm like, I could never do that, and I'm almost jealous of the guy.
00:40:10.000Like, first of all, it's not wise to do it as a person because I don't think it's a healthy way to look at things.
00:40:16.000Like, if you're playing a game and all of a sudden you win the game and you're ahead, do you change your opinion of yourself because of some stupid fucking game?
00:40:25.000No, you gotta look at it for what it is, and if it's an art form like stand-up, it demands that you pay attention, that you're honest.
00:40:36.000If you're not doing that, you're not gonna get better.
00:40:39.000So all the people that wind up wanting more than they...
00:41:08.000I think that's why sports and UFC... I love watching because it's just like, that guy got punched in the face, he lost, and he goes, ah, I should have dodged, I should have ducked, or I should have parried, or whatever it is.
00:41:21.000And it's just so A to B, where everything else is complain and blame other people.
00:41:25.000It's just fun to see, like, I fucked up there and I lost.
00:41:28.000Well, that's why I always love the game of pool.
00:42:46.000I mean, even if you're the biggest celebrity, the most loved guy, after a couple minutes they're like, we love you, we're going to give you a big ovation, but...
00:43:11.000And then they would realize after a while, like, you can't just take 10 years off or whatever you've done and just jump on stage with no act and...
00:43:19.000And hope your charisma is going to get you through it when you're following Bill Burr and Ali Wong and whoever the fuck else is up there murdering it.
00:44:24.000You know, you meet a smoking hot lady, and she's like, I have an engineering degree, and I invented this conveyor belt, and I got a patent, and you're like, what?
00:45:10.000No man is looking at bodybuilders and saying, like a guy who's got big muscles and lifts weights online, no man is looking at him and saying, what you're doing is bad for masculinity.
00:45:27.000If you have CrossFit exercises on your Instagram page and you're doing cleans and presses, men don't look at that and go, oh, you're getting attention for that.
00:45:37.000You know how bad that is for masculinity?
00:45:40.000You know how bad that is for the opinion that women have of us?
00:45:43.000They already look at us like we're meathead idiots.
00:45:46.000And this is what you're going to fill your page with?
00:46:37.000If you walk in the conversation as a woman from India, you get a stack of coins right away, you get a little stack, and you identify as a woman from India.
00:46:51.000Now these other women from India are like, oh, she's one of us, she's on the team.
00:46:55.000If you just want to go in there as a human being, you get no stack.
00:47:01.000You don't start off with a stack of coins.
00:47:24.000I'm also a person who's gay and I just think we're just people and I represent gay people because I want you to know that we're just people.
00:47:34.000They go into it as someone who's already oppressed and I want my stack of coins.
00:47:39.000I want my stack of coins because I'm in this group and first of all, you need to check your privilege before you talk to me because you're not in this group and I'm in this group and I got a stack of coins.
00:48:06.000And everybody knows you still have a lot of advantages, but the people who don't have the advantages that you have, they want to let you know and show you their stack of coins.
00:48:16.000But my thing is, show me some results or some worth.
00:48:20.000If you get a free ride, if you get a free stack of coins, because of whatever you come to the game with, whatever identity, whether it's a nationality or a gender or a sexual preference...
00:48:31.000If you really have that and you use that, it's the same thing as someone who's not really paying attention to their act.
00:48:53.000And then it comes full circle when it all doesn't work out because they never worked hard, and then they go, oh, it's because I'm that thing.
00:49:33.000I think it's like an intermediate step to people realizing how stupid it is and then eventually going to the best version of just a person.
00:49:44.000So we get through all the pitfalls of identity politics, all the pitfalls of people wanting their stack of coins and being real aggressive about whatever they are even though what their art form is is fucking mediocre and nonsense because they're not really about that.
00:49:59.000They're about getting as many coins as they can for who they are.
00:54:18.000Yeah, a little tidbit I learned from Peter Giuliano, who's a coffee expert who was on the podcast many, many years ago, but all of it came out of Ethiopia.
00:54:27.000Then they started planting it in Colombia and all those places.
00:54:45.000I drink it all the time at the UFC. I love the guy who's like, I need this shitty elixir to fuel me, but he's like, I gotta watch my weight, too.
00:58:43.000Well, some people are skinny because they're healthy, and they exercise a lot, and they have a fast metabolism, and that's their body type.
00:58:50.000But some people are starving themselves, and there's a difference.
00:58:53.000The girls who are starving themselves want to be like that other body type, but they're just not.
00:59:00.000So there's this weird thing going on where you're just killing yourself to look like that.
00:59:04.000I think black people had a big change in that.
01:05:27.000This table, I was going to make it more narrow.
01:05:30.000I even had a smaller table that we were working with as a guide, and then we were still doing the shows back in LA when we were setting up this studio.
01:05:37.000I did an interview with Tyson, and he was so amped up for this Roy Jones fight that I got nervous to be in the room.
01:05:42.000I'm like, I like that extra six inches of space between us because he was so ramped up.
01:06:04.000And we've all watched the video where he calls that photographer out, and he's like, I'll fucking eat your ass, you bitch, I'll make you love me!
01:07:27.000I know we call it toxic masculinity or whatever the hell, evil men, but it's amazing that somebody would want to go toe-to-toe with this thing.
01:08:11.000Imagine if they come up with a hog implant that's like a legitimate, legitimate, like good to go, everyone universally accepted the way fake boobs are accepted.
01:11:12.000Yeah, I don't know if he would be like that.
01:11:14.000When I've met him, he's been very nice and very friendly to everybody.
01:11:17.000But I think when you're a dude that's that fucking driven and that maniacal when you're at your best, you've got to realize throughout his life, all of his great success came from his ability to be ferocious.
01:11:34.000I mean, the whole success of his fighting career came from his skill, his technique, and his ability in the heat of the moment to be ferocious.
01:13:03.000Like, you look at his fights, the stoppage of Trevor Burbick to win the title, you look at his destruction of Tyrell Biggs and Marvis Frazier, and you go through his career, and of course he's got that in him.
01:19:04.000But if you could, if you had a time machine and you were just an asshole, and you're like, I could save the world and stop assassinations, or I could just take Mike Tyson from 1988 and bring him to the George Foreman When George was undefeated and he was the champion and matched them up.
01:19:26.000If you could get together Sonny Liston and Lennox Lewis.
01:20:12.000The thing about it was that Muhammad Ali was different than just a fighter because he was a cultural figure.
01:20:19.000He wasn't like anybody else in that he was a guy who stood up for the Vietnam War, stood up for the soldiers and said, I'm not going to fight.
01:20:27.000He stood up against the Vietnam War, I should say.
01:20:29.000They tried to draft him, tried to send him over there, and he's like, I'm not going to Vietnam.
01:20:33.000And they took his title away because of it.
01:21:50.000And they would wait for him in the back of the club, and then as soon as he said something wrong, they would run up on stage and handcuff him in front of the crowd.
01:22:43.000Like, what you're saying about him, about never being very talented, like, that's crazy.
01:22:48.000You could say that you don't think what he did was right, but the way you're doing, you know, some people were, like, dismissing his talent.
01:23:42.000Again, it's the people that have a deficiency in their own career, or deficiency in their own act, or they're not happy with where they are, how it's worked out.
01:23:55.000It's one thing if someone has done something horrific.
01:24:12.000There was a woman who was a prosecuting attorney who was doing an interview about this, and she goes, I need you to understand that this might be the most prolific serial rapist in history.
01:25:26.000He was talking to Mitt Romney once, and he goes, no, they were interviewing him about Mitt Romney, like, you think he's going to vote for it?
01:26:16.000Look, if they did really absolve student debt, there's a lot more happy people in this world.
01:26:21.000If they really did figure out a way to use just a small percentage of a penny from every stock exchange transaction and they would use that money for good, that was what he was saying.
01:26:34.000When he was describing how they would use, this is where they would get the money to institute national health We're good to go.
01:29:34.000Well, a lot of Canadian comics would come over here and they'd have green cards and they'd have to try to figure out how to get a citizenship.
01:29:40.000And it would take a long time for some of them.
01:31:22.000So they'll shoot a lot of movies because they want to sell it in China, so they'll have a lot of whitey, and people get mad here, but they're like, we just want to make money over there.
01:31:29.000We should see how well did Blade do in China.
01:33:36.000Versus some movies like Star Trek or Star Wars, rather, when it was all women that were running the show and women generals and everything.
01:37:04.000Got hit with the pandemic and they took away the audience.
01:37:07.000And then you get to see how lame these jokes are when it's just a person saying them.
01:37:12.000And also, a lot of those guys, unfortunately, don't work with crowds a lot.
01:37:17.000So they don't understand that the reason why they're saying it the way they're saying it is only because there's a large group of people in the room.
01:37:22.000You have to give a pause because the laughter's killing so hard.
01:37:26.000But if you just stand there like a fucking idiot after you say something that's not even that funny and you're waiting...
01:37:43.000And it's all great writing, and it's like one fucked up punchline after another, and they're mean, and they're vicious, and they're nasty and hilarious.
01:37:58.000I mean, who would have thunk this guy who's just a comic is putting on such good work that it gets the platform it needs, and it's bigger than The Tonight Show.
01:40:53.000So I'm wearing a fucking warm jacket zipped up to the neck, sitting down, my buddy Todd and Brian Redband, his girlfriend, and my buddy Gino.
01:41:00.000And we just watched, like, audience members.
01:42:51.000And I think ultimately, like we were talking about with the Quentin Tarantino movie, they're going to recognize that this is a style of art.
01:43:05.000It's not that he really wants this to happen to that person or really wants this guy to die this way or really wants her to choke on a dick.
01:43:38.000No, they're looking for things where they can dismiss you.
01:43:41.000They can say a simple statement, you're that, and then they can dismiss you.
01:43:46.000But being a racist is such a horrible, ignorant thing, and you just called me that publicly, and then when I prove you wrong, you go, eh, or you don't even respond.
01:43:55.000Well, you're talking to people on Twitter.
01:44:26.000Yes, but yeah, face-to-face is lost, and that's really what's big social media thing is that if that guy was in the room, he would never say that to me, or you, or whoever, and it's a bummer.
01:44:36.000I did a bunch of Zoom, I've done Zoom podcasts, but I've caught way back on them.
01:44:41.000With some people, it's important, like they're older folks, or they're far away, and I can't do it any other way, and I'll take it, because I just want to talk to them.
01:45:44.000It's not a normal way a person would talk to someone if they knew the other person was going to see it.
01:45:50.000There's things that people say where they would never say to your face.
01:45:54.000Not that they're scared of you or anything, but it's just a shit way to communicate with human beings.
01:45:58.000You're giving no consideration whatsoever to how that person is going to receive it, no consideration whatsoever to their feelings, but yet you're pretending you're compassionate.
01:48:59.000I remember seeing Theo Vaughn back in the day and he was, I don't know, three years, four years ahead of me and I was like, oh my Somebody's been on MTV! And now I'm like, somebody's on MTV? I spit in their coffee.
01:49:15.000It was unbelievable that he had been on TV and I would tremble going up to talk to him.
01:49:19.000He was not a celebrity then, but it was still crazy.
01:49:24.000I got to see Richard Jenny when I was an open-miker.
01:49:27.000And I sat in the front row of Catch a Rising star in Cambridge, and he was doing stand-up, and it was like a Wednesday night or something like that.
01:49:53.000You know, I always was a giant fan, but I got on another Richard Jenny kick not that long ago, a couple years back, because I was driving home from, I think it was Irvine, somewhere in Orange County-ish.
01:51:23.000You know, and look, some people use it and they hit it on their head and they dangle it or whatever and make a joke out of it, but if you're kind of just free and lose, it makes more sense being a comedian, I think.
01:51:32.000It certainly does, but you get so used to having that mic.
01:52:04.000I actually, a heckle popped in my head and it ruined my, because I got heckled, I was making a fat joke and this larger lady went, hey, boo!
01:52:14.000Or something like that and I went, are you saying boo or moo?
01:53:29.000But I was making sure, because I've bombed so many of these corporate-type gigs where they've got to be clean, and you've got to say this, and not talk about sex.
01:53:38.000So I made sure, like, is there anything I can't say?
01:53:40.000Just tell me now, because I'm doing a half hour, which is a lot to do into a laptop.
01:53:43.000And he was like, you can say anything.
01:54:22.000But yeah, you say, ooh, but if it gets to the point where every time you go outside, you risk dying, but you could strap on this fucking Ready Player One headset and be there in front of this audience sitting down.
01:55:56.000Like, if you're around a lot of regular people, and then some, like, Tara Patrick in her prime walks in the room, and everybody's like, holy...
01:56:50.000But this roll of the dice, they don't like the fact that this roll of the dice determines whether or not you have the greatest gift.
01:56:58.000In terms of the way people treat you, if you are a woman and you are stunning and just a physical specimen, and you're in a room filled with men, those men are going to be stumbling over themselves to help you, and you're going to be telling terrible,
01:57:13.000boring stories, and they're going to pretend like they're awesome, like we were talking about earlier.
01:57:31.000If you had the choice, if we entered into a virtual world and you had to press that button, it could be anything you wanted.
01:57:37.000You're not going to decide to be someone who looks like you.
01:57:39.000You're not going to decide to be uncomfortable in your own skin.
01:57:42.000You're not going to decide to be someone who feels really bad when they have to sit in the middle seat because they ooze over into the two seats next to them.
01:57:51.000And what's interesting about people is when they're the victim, when they're the loser, when they win, they tend to act the same way that shitty people were towards them.
01:59:44.000It's very strange because so much weight has been put on females looking beautiful.
01:59:49.000There's been weight put on men looking good, but men have this weird out clause where you see disgusting fat men with hot women if the fat man is rich.
02:00:15.000It's a tough life because you're just constantly having to keep that status going or keep that career going, whatever it is, just to get laid.
02:02:11.000But one of the girls brought a guest...
02:02:14.000One of the guests, rather, like a male guest, brought a date, and the date was smoking hot and had a low-cut blouse and a tight skirt, and she was fucking furious.
02:03:19.000Well, that's what seems so appealing about Brad Pitt.
02:03:21.000He's like this tall, good-looking guy.
02:03:23.000He's like the poster boy for a hot guy.
02:03:25.000And I was watching Jackass one time, and some guy was in a chicken costume, and he was in a shopping cart, and the shopping cart hit a speed bump.
02:05:33.000Norm MacDonald at one point was a handsome guy, but he lived on a farm with his grandpa in the middle of nowhere, so I don't think he got the handsome love.
02:07:16.000When he was doing his Netflix show, someone specifically did not want him doing interviews because he got on the Howard Stern show and he wanted to say, well, if you think that way, you're fucking retarded.
02:13:58.000Well, once we started talking about comedy and joke writing and that kind of shit and talking about the dedication, I go, oh, he's for real.
02:14:12.000Sometimes you get guys that laugh at shit that's not really funny and they're just trying to get closer and closer and just want to work their way in.
02:20:45.000Some people that are weird conspiracy theorists, that's one sign that you're going down a dark road and you start blaming things on the Jews.
02:24:41.000I mean, that sounds like an origin story.
02:24:43.000Historian and social critic Neil Gabler, author of An Empire on Their Own, How the Jews Invented Hollywood, said he exhaustively researched Disney for the 2006 book Walt Disney, The Triumph of the American Imagination.
02:24:57.000I saw no evidence other than the casual anti-Semitism that was common to To non-Jews during Disney's 20th century era.
02:29:51.000Yeah, he was talking about just one of the things about comics, about groups of comics, that when you get a great group of really funny guys and they hang out together or girls or whatever...
02:30:02.000That sometimes they get hate from people on the outside because they wish they had that going on.
02:30:08.000So they get angry and they snipe at it.
02:30:10.000And I think if you see any kind of real strong, loyal unity, and the Jews have a very loyal unity.
02:30:20.000I agree, but it would look bad if other groups did it.
02:30:23.000You know, if other groups were like, if you were like, you can only marry a white guy to your daughter, then you'd be like, Jesus, what's up with Rogan?
02:31:37.000He got some shit for making some very racial cartoons about Japanese and Japanese Americans, but then apparently that's what Horton Hears a Who is about.
02:31:44.000It's almost like an apology for it, I guess.
02:35:15.000You don't see a lot of Asian complaints.
02:35:16.000I think they're too busy with the cello and the studying or whatever it is.
02:35:20.000Well, some of them have pointed out, and rightly so, that it's kind of fucked that some colleges have changed their admission standards for Asians.
02:35:59.000No, I've seen the Asians' argument that Harvard's doing this to them.
02:36:02.000Because it's not straight up like they're just completely...
02:36:07.000Discriminating based on the fact they're Asian.
02:36:10.000They're kind of sneaking it in with like...
02:36:13.000It's basing it on various aspects of their personality and how they engage with people and different activities that they gravitate towards.
02:36:21.000And they're making those more valuable.
02:36:25.000I had a conversation with a guy who was actually with Andrew Yang when he was here about it.
02:40:57.000I mean, I felt like when I was in high school and college and all that, going to parties, I had a constant fear of being punched in the face.
02:41:04.000It was completely normal to get punched out.
02:41:07.000Not punched out, but like, if you said the wrong thing, all right, these guys are going outside and all that shit.
02:41:43.000I remember very clearly after some kid kicked my ass, some kid threw me down in the locker room and could have punched me in the face but didn't, just kind of held me down and humiliated me.
02:43:03.000Yeah, it was a fight in New Orleans about, it was over Mardi Gras.
02:43:07.000It was a bunch of college dudes, and I had a bunch of college friends, and we all started going at it, and one guy ran up, and my girlfriend goes, there's a guy running, and he knocked, he had a running start, and it hit me, and I saw a white, I remember it.
02:46:01.000Well, you know, you always watch these killer women on TruTV, and it's like they put antifreeze in the guy's oatmeal every day for six years, and he eventually croaks and they can't figure out why.
02:47:05.000Imagine you're dying, you can't believe it's your wife that did this to you, and you think about all the mean shit that you ever said to your wife, and you realize she's been storing it up inside, and you wait for you to suck down that one lone cyanide pill.
02:47:16.000And if she's really gangster, she drops it in there and shakes it up.
02:47:19.000Shakes it up so it gets to the bottom.
02:48:13.000You know, there was the fact that he was a father, and he didn't want to separate from his kids, the fact that he didn't want to give up the money, the fact that he had a sort of reputation of being this family man.
02:49:25.000Or you could have no prenuptial agreement and take the ultimate risk that when in the heat of battle, when you fucking hate each other and you want to break away, then you're going to be cool with each other and work this out amicably.
02:53:37.000And the money that he made was hard-earned, you know?
02:53:39.000Hard-earned and came late in life, and he just...
02:53:42.000I mean, you start to get the hitman thing after a while.
02:53:44.000You're like, I could just hire a person and finish this problem off.
02:53:49.000Whether you do or don't, the real thing is that there's an industry designed to extract money from people that are going through an emotional and disturbing breakup.
02:55:13.000I got a buddy who got divorced, they both hugged it out, and now he's friends with her still, and she's got a new guy, and he's got a new girl, and everybody's fine.
02:55:51.000So if this goes bad, you want to protect yourself, and you want to save your money, because your money is more important than this relationship.
02:56:52.000But there's a lot of good comics in Austin, so I would imagine that if they're smart enough to hire you, they're probably smart enough to hire some good local people.
02:58:01.000Everybody should be rooting for the vaccine, right?
02:58:03.000If it works out, and we can all get back.
02:58:05.000The thing that I just heard that was fucking freaking me out, and by the way, I heard it from America's most trusted news source, Tim Dillon.
02:58:12.000On his Twitter page, it said that even if you...
02:58:20.000He said that even if you get the vaccine, they're saying that you're going to have to wear a mask because you could spread it to other people.
02:59:17.000Especially with the immune system, it's very important.
02:59:19.000Take vitamin D. According to the AP article I'm reading right now, it says the reason why they're saying you'll still need to wear a mask after you get the vaccine is because at least these two vaccines, both Pfizer and Moderna, are going to take at least two doses, and it may take a couple weeks after the second dose for full protection.
02:59:39.000But what they were saying was, Google this then...
02:59:42.000Even though you get the vaccine, you can still spread the virus.
02:59:46.000So the question was that even if people have the vaccine and have the immunity to the virus, there may be a potential for them to carry it, even though their own body doesn't express it.