The Joe Rogan Experience - January 27, 2021


Joe Rogan Experience #1602 - Justin Wren


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 43 minutes

Words per Minute

188.83775

Word Count

30,790

Sentence Count

2,641

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

20


Summary

Buffalo Trace and Fight for the Forgotten are doing something special for you, the Joe Rogan Experience listeners. You get to pick your own Buffalo Trace barrel, and we'll give you a chance to try it with a glass of water and a shot of Jack Daniel's. Joe and his team at Fight For The Forgotten are also doing a raffle to raise money for the cause, and they're giving away 220 bottles of their own whiskey. You can't ask for much more than that, and you're not going to get more than $1,200 in raffle tickets for a chance at a bottle of your favorite Buffalo Trace bourbon. This episode is sponsored by Buffalo Trace, and is a big thank you to Fight For the Forgotten, and the rest of the Buffalo Trace team for working so hard to make this happen. Cheers, and Happy New Year, and God Bless. Joe & Co. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Artwork by Ian Dorsch. Mix by Skandalous. Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms! Thank you so much for listening and supporting the show, and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review! in iTunes and Rate/subscribe in your podcast listening to the show! if you like what you're listening to this podcast! and/or have a review or review on your favorite streaming platform, and share it with your friends and tell us what you think of it! we'll be sure to mention it on the pod! Also, share it on iTunes and tell a friend about it on your friends about it's awesomeness! :) and spread the good vibes! XOXO, Cheers. Cheers! Timestay! - Tom, Tom, Amy, Sarah, Evan, Joe, Kristy, and Joe, Mike, and Ryan, Chet, and Nicky, etc. - The Crew at The Joe Rogans - and Sarah, Thanks for listening out there! Love ya. - Tom & Ryan, Sarah & Ryan xoxo - - Chet & Joe, - Kristy Chet and Ryan - P. & AJ - Thank you, Sarah


Transcript

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:15.000 What's up, my man?
00:00:16.000 What's up, buddy?
00:00:16.000 You got a whole book of stuff to talk about.
00:00:19.000 Yeah.
00:00:20.000 You're prepared.
00:00:20.000 I'm prepared a little bit.
00:00:22.000 You're like a professional.
00:00:23.000 There's something special.
00:00:23.000 There's something special and we're gonna kick this off with a bang.
00:00:26.000 Uh-oh.
00:00:26.000 Yeah.
00:00:27.000 Something I don't know about?
00:00:28.000 Something you don't know about.
00:00:29.000 Uh-oh.
00:00:30.000 But we'll get into it.
00:00:31.000 Okay.
00:00:31.000 Yeah.
00:00:32.000 Special.
00:00:32.000 Yeah.
00:00:33.000 Tell me.
00:00:34.000 You gonna do it now?
00:00:35.000 Sure.
00:00:36.000 Awesome.
00:00:36.000 Let's do it.
00:00:37.000 What's happening?
00:00:38.000 Well, you and your team, you picked Fight for the Forgotten, my nonprofit, as Charity of Choice with Buffalo Trace.
00:00:47.000 Yes.
00:00:48.000 And we're going to do something really special for all your fans.
00:00:51.000 Oh.
00:00:51.000 But first, I wanted to do something.
00:00:55.000 I talked with Bo Beckman, his great-grandfather's great-grandfather.
00:00:59.000 I think his name's like T.H., I don't know, Eckert or something like that.
00:01:03.000 He started basically the modern-day bourbon in America.
00:01:08.000 So anyways, I asked him, I was talking to Bo, and said, can we do something special for Joe?
00:01:14.000 And he was like, yeah, what are you thinking?
00:01:16.000 And so I talked with my buddy Ryan, who's the vice president of our board, and we thought about it and we were like, what if we could get a barrel from Buffalo Trace and we could give it to Joe?
00:01:27.000 And so we thought we'd do a sample tasting for you, and you get to pick a single barrel select.
00:01:35.000 Basically, I guess, I'm not a whiskey connoisseur, but basically you're about to be able to do a wine, or not wine, but whiskey tasting.
00:01:41.000 Really?
00:01:41.000 And you're going to be able to pick out your own Buffalo Trace barrel.
00:01:44.000 Yeah.
00:02:10.000 So those things, I think they call them staves or something.
00:02:12.000 It's like 28 to 35 of those things that make the barrel, but they come from all these different trees.
00:02:17.000 The wood slats.
00:02:17.000 Yeah, the wood slats.
00:02:19.000 And so they all taste different, every barrel, whenever it's a single select barrel.
00:02:24.000 So I guess like what they do at Buffalo Trace is they take a bunch of those barrels and they put them all in there together so it has one consistent taste.
00:02:30.000 But whenever you just take one barrel, it's always a unique flavor.
00:02:33.000 Okay.
00:02:34.000 So we got a few of them for you to try.
00:02:36.000 Goddamn whiskey nerds.
00:02:38.000 I'm not a whiskey nerd, but here we go.
00:02:40.000 Here's going to be sample one.
00:02:41.000 I need you to put that maybe to the left or right.
00:02:46.000 So I have to test these?
00:02:47.000 Yeah.
00:02:48.000 Here's the idea.
00:02:49.000 Looks like I'm going to get hammered again.
00:02:52.000 Need glasses?
00:02:53.000 We got them right here.
00:02:55.000 I got them right here.
00:02:56.000 I talked to Bo.
00:02:56.000 Bo helped us out.
00:02:58.000 So, do you like yours with water in it?
00:03:00.000 No.
00:03:01.000 No.
00:03:02.000 What am I, girl?
00:03:04.000 Well, this is the idea.
00:03:06.000 Or this is how we wanted to say thank you.
00:03:08.000 You need to pick your own thing.
00:03:11.000 Yep, here's the glass.
00:03:12.000 Oh, this is hilarious.
00:03:14.000 But this is why we're doing it.
00:03:15.000 It's nerdy, sure.
00:03:18.000 I like some nerdy things.
00:03:20.000 Don't worry, it's not a negative.
00:03:21.000 Yeah, here's why we're doing it.
00:03:23.000 We wanted to say thank you from Fight for the Forgotten and Buffalo Trace, because we're about to do this big raffle for Fight for the Forgotten.
00:03:30.000 But you'll get 220 bottles yourself from whatever whiskey you choose.
00:03:35.000 220 bottles of whiskey?
00:03:37.000 Yeah, but what we're going to do...
00:03:39.000 Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?
00:03:40.000 No.
00:03:40.000 We're trying to give you a gift that you can give your guest.
00:03:42.000 Okay.
00:03:42.000 If you'd like.
00:03:43.000 It'll have the Joe Rogan Experience logo on it.
00:03:46.000 I'll have a thank you from Fight for the Forgotten.
00:03:48.000 So this is sample number one.
00:03:49.000 That's sample number one.
00:03:50.000 Go on the left with sample number one.
00:03:52.000 Sample number one.
00:03:53.000 I'll give it a little right there.
00:03:55.000 And then...
00:03:56.000 It's going to be a real problem this episode.
00:03:58.000 I might start crying.
00:04:01.000 This is sample number two.
00:04:03.000 Okay.
00:04:03.000 And I can tell you about them, actually.
00:04:06.000 Can you really?
00:04:06.000 A little bit.
00:04:07.000 Specifically?
00:04:08.000 I like how they come in these little, like, whiskey flask-type deals.
00:04:12.000 Yeah, so they took this straight from the barrel.
00:04:14.000 And each one of these should have a very distinct or different taste.
00:04:17.000 And so basically...
00:04:19.000 You can choose it.
00:04:20.000 I mean, you can figure out...
00:04:22.000 I don't know if you want to take notes.
00:04:23.000 That's real nerdy, but they gave me one of these.
00:04:25.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:04:26.000 Bo's a great guy.
00:04:27.000 What is it?
00:04:28.000 Notes like hints and tastes.
00:04:29.000 You can do barrel one, two, three, four.
00:04:31.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:32.000 How are you going to remember?
00:04:33.000 We'll do this right here.
00:04:34.000 By the time I get to barrel three, it's just guesswork.
00:04:37.000 I did a pot tasting thing once.
00:04:40.000 It was...
00:04:41.000 Pot tasting?
00:04:42.000 Cannabis?
00:04:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:42.000 It was a cannabis cop.
00:04:44.000 I was one of the judges.
00:04:46.000 It was ridiculous.
00:04:48.000 I was obliterated.
00:04:49.000 By the time I got to the third or fourth choice, I had no idea where I was.
00:04:55.000 I couldn't feel my legs.
00:04:57.000 Let's try number one.
00:04:58.000 Sample number one is seven years and nine months old.
00:05:03.000 Came from Warehouse L on the fourth floor.
00:05:07.000 Tastes good.
00:05:08.000 Tastes good?
00:05:08.000 Very good.
00:05:11.000 Buffalo Trace.
00:05:12.000 They make a damn good whiskey.
00:05:13.000 Yeah, they do.
00:05:14.000 They've been so good to us.
00:05:16.000 That's number one.
00:05:17.000 Now I'll try number two.
00:05:20.000 I feel like such a dork.
00:05:21.000 I'm smelling it and shit.
00:05:23.000 You know when I do that at wine?
00:05:24.000 Like if I buy a glass of wine at a restaurant and they pour it for you and they let you smell it?
00:05:27.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
00:05:29.000 I pretend.
00:05:30.000 You would know.
00:05:31.000 I've asked that too because I used to serve it.
00:05:33.000 I'd be like, why are people doing this?
00:05:34.000 This seems so dumb.
00:05:35.000 No one's ever given one back.
00:05:37.000 On a rare occasion, you have to send one back because something's fucked up.
00:05:39.000 Oh, one time I did have to send a glass back, buy the glass, because I think they had it open too long.
00:05:44.000 I never do this, but I go, this tastes like vinegar.
00:05:47.000 It's terrible.
00:05:48.000 It can rarely happen.
00:05:50.000 But I think that was at a place where the bottle was just sitting around for a couple weeks or something and nobody had ordered it.
00:05:56.000 There we go.
00:05:56.000 Number two.
00:05:57.000 Number two.
00:05:58.000 This one is eight years, three months old.
00:06:03.000 It's very good, too.
00:06:05.000 Which one do you like between the two?
00:06:06.000 Do you know?
00:06:08.000 They're both really good.
00:06:09.000 I don't know.
00:06:10.000 They do make good fucking whiskey.
00:06:13.000 Like, you can taste the difference.
00:06:15.000 Like, some people are like, how do you tell?
00:06:17.000 What's the difference?
00:06:17.000 So this is how Bo said it.
00:06:19.000 All you gotta do is, like, if you have four pancakes in front of you, keep it simple.
00:06:23.000 Which pancake do you like the best?
00:06:26.000 Fucking pancakes.
00:06:31.000 It was three.
00:06:32.000 Yep.
00:06:33.000 Three's got a nice taste.
00:06:34.000 That's a little unusual.
00:06:36.000 Where's it rank?
00:06:36.000 Three is eight years, two months old.
00:06:39.000 So is three the oldest?
00:06:41.000 Actually, two is the oldest so far.
00:06:43.000 Eight years, three months.
00:06:45.000 Two and three are my favorites.
00:06:46.000 Two and three.
00:06:47.000 It's like one.
00:06:48.000 It's guessing.
00:06:49.000 If you gave me one and said it was three, I'd be like, amazing.
00:06:51.000 I have good taste.
00:06:52.000 So you could see if one has more character, like a bolder flavor, one that you think your friends would enjoy more that don't know much about whiskey.
00:06:59.000 Oh.
00:07:02.000 They're all the same.
00:07:04.000 They're all the same?
00:07:05.000 I'm lying.
00:07:05.000 I'm lying to these people.
00:07:07.000 I can't tell the difference.
00:07:08.000 They're all great.
00:07:10.000 I think three was slightly different.
00:07:12.000 Three was slightly different.
00:07:13.000 But they all taste like really good whiskey.
00:07:16.000 You liked three and two.
00:07:17.000 All right.
00:07:18.000 Jesus Christ.
00:07:19.000 Here we go.
00:07:20.000 We're going to do two and three.
00:07:21.000 I narrowed it down to two and three.
00:07:22.000 But that's just like, if you gave me a bottle of one and told me it was three, I'd be like, perfect.
00:07:26.000 I really wouldn't know.
00:07:28.000 Okay.
00:07:28.000 I'm just lying.
00:07:30.000 Here we go.
00:07:30.000 Here's three.
00:07:38.000 It's real good.
00:07:39.000 Alright, here's two.
00:07:48.000 I mean, maybe there's a slight difference between two and three.
00:07:51.000 Let's just go with three.
00:07:52.000 It's a good number.
00:07:53.000 Three is the magic number, according to De La Soul.
00:07:55.000 Three is the magic number, and that one was born October 25th, 2012. Alright, perfect.
00:08:01.000 So they say that's when it was born.
00:08:02.000 Yay.
00:08:03.000 So, basically what we're going to do is we're going to be able to do that and make you a bottle, 220 bottles, and it'll have the Joe Rogan Experience logo on it.
00:08:11.000 And then you can give it to your guest as a thank you for being on the show.
00:08:15.000 I like it.
00:08:15.000 Do you drink?
00:08:16.000 No.
00:08:17.000 Not at all?
00:08:17.000 I don't.
00:08:18.000 This is actually freedom for me.
00:08:20.000 I don't even...
00:08:22.000 But I can be around it.
00:08:23.000 And I can enjoy it because this is what Buffalo Trace has done for us.
00:08:26.000 Jamie, I don't know if it's okay.
00:08:27.000 You don't drink at all?
00:08:28.000 Nothing?
00:08:29.000 Not anymore.
00:08:29.000 When did you stop?
00:08:32.000 When I was 23. So I'm 33. Did we talk about this?
00:08:36.000 We have talked about this.
00:08:37.000 We've talked about it.
00:08:38.000 I'm going to talk about it a little more.
00:08:39.000 But on fightfortheforgotten.org, there's something really special that Buffalo Trace did because you told them to donate to us.
00:08:46.000 It's the first thing on our website.
00:08:48.000 It's a raffle that we're doing.
00:08:50.000 Around December, 15,000 people tried to get a hold of one of these barrels.
00:08:55.000 And so if you hit order or enter today, basically on there, there's a Buffalo Trace whiskey raffle.
00:09:01.000 And on that, you get like a Disney World experience for whiskey lovers.
00:09:06.000 You get to go out to the Buffalo Trace distillery.
00:09:10.000 And you get to, you and seven guests would be able to do it.
00:09:13.000 You can enter for $10, $25, $50, or $100.
00:09:17.000 And you get a VIP tour.
00:09:19.000 Bo's going to do it himself.
00:09:20.000 You know, his great, great grandfather is the one that basically modernized bourbon drinking today.
00:09:26.000 And then you get to stay at the lodge that they have there.
00:09:29.000 And then I'm going to go up there and visit them.
00:09:31.000 And we're going to go around all the different warehouses.
00:09:33.000 And they can taste literally straight from the barrel.
00:09:36.000 And then at the end, they could either buy a barrel for themselves and have 220 bottles or we're trying to find a donor.
00:09:42.000 Maybe my friend Ryan Llewellyn, who's a whiskey connoisseur, he might go ahead and buy it on their behalf and they'll get 220 bottles themselves.
00:09:51.000 That's so much to give someone.
00:09:53.000 Yeah, but they get to pick it.
00:09:54.000 You just ask me for trouble.
00:09:54.000 Well, actually, they said that they could resell it to any local store.
00:10:00.000 Any store's probably going to buy it.
00:10:02.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:10:02.000 And so they'll make a profit off of it.
00:10:04.000 Do you know this company's older than the United States?
00:10:07.000 Wow.
00:10:08.000 Buffalo Trace is from 1773. Wow.
00:10:11.000 Yeah, they're three years older than the United States.
00:10:14.000 That's wild.
00:10:15.000 That's wild.
00:10:15.000 That's wild.
00:10:16.000 That's a long-standing company.
00:10:19.000 Yeah.
00:10:20.000 Wow.
00:10:20.000 So our goal on that is to raise $100,000.
00:10:22.000 Bo really thinks we can do it.
00:10:24.000 We even thought, man, if 15,000 people tried to do, you know, 15,000 people tried to get it around Christmas time on these barrels, you know, let's just mention it on the show, it might be able to get 40,000 people.
00:10:36.000 If they did $25 raffle tickets, 40,000 people.
00:10:40.000 That's the first time Fight for the Forgotten would ever raise a million dollars from any one specific donor.
00:10:45.000 Wow.
00:10:46.000 And so it's going to be incredible for us because we're really trying to expand in the Congo, or sorry, actually Uganda with the Pygmies.
00:10:53.000 How many wells have been dug so far?
00:10:57.000 73. Wow.
00:10:58.000 Wow.
00:10:58.000 Yeah.
00:10:58.000 And when I came on the first time, zero.
00:11:01.000 That's amazing.
00:11:02.000 And we've been able to provide water, clean water, to over 60,000 people.
00:11:06.000 Wow.
00:11:06.000 And right now, Dustin, whenever we fought Khabib, he helped us raise, I don't want to slaughter, but it was either $155,000 or $185,000.
00:11:15.000 It was him, Dana, and Khabib.
00:11:18.000 Whenever they did their shirt exchange, Dustin said he was going to try to raise $25,000 for us.
00:11:23.000 He blew through that before even the fight started.
00:11:25.000 Wow.
00:11:26.000 That's amazing.
00:11:27.000 And then they exchanged shirts.
00:11:28.000 And then we were able to take that money.
00:11:30.000 We were able to buy 48 acres of land for the pygmies in Uganda.
00:11:33.000 Wow.
00:11:34.000 And so when they got kicked out of the Simuliki National Forest in Uganda.
00:11:38.000 Why did they get kicked out of it?
00:11:41.000 The Ugandan Wildlife Authority would say to protect the forest and to protect the animals, although the pygmies are the protectors of the forest.
00:11:48.000 And they deserve part of the forest because they're the people of the forest.
00:11:52.000 And so I would say it was politics.
00:11:56.000 Was there an issue with overhunting or nothing?
00:11:58.000 No, they only take what they need.
00:11:59.000 And they don't go after elephants.
00:12:01.000 They don't go after the things they're not supposed to.
00:12:03.000 They just go after the wild hogs.
00:12:05.000 I mean, they eat what they get.
00:12:07.000 But there was no poaching and they put them on one acre of land behind the slums.
00:12:13.000 One acre.
00:12:14.000 Said this is where, for Chief Zito, they said this is where your 300 people can live.
00:12:19.000 300 people can live on one acre of land.
00:12:21.000 It's on the slums.
00:12:22.000 They throw out the sewage and literally the sewage just starts going through it.
00:12:26.000 I've seen them pick up their firewood because the fire would go out from the raw sewage from the slums.
00:12:31.000 And so they'd have to shift where they're cooking.
00:12:34.000 I was walking over these mounds.
00:12:36.000 That's why we really needed to get them new land and shift them from living right behind the slums.
00:12:40.000 And it was honestly, it was heart-wrenching because I was walking on these mounds and I asked Chief Zito, I go, what are these mounds?
00:12:51.000 He goes, they won't give us anywhere to bury our dead.
00:12:53.000 We live on top of our cemetery.
00:12:57.000 And there was over 150 people that were buried there.
00:13:00.000 So literally over 300 people on one acre.
00:13:03.000 Oh my god.
00:13:04.000 They buried on top of each other, right side by side.
00:13:07.000 That is insane.
00:13:09.000 It was like 1 to 1.25 acres, but it was less than 2 acres.
00:13:14.000 And so Dustin made it possible through the Good Fight Foundation donating to Fight for the Forgotten, and Khabib donating his shirt, and Dana matching it for us to go get 48 acres of new land.
00:13:24.000 We also drilled a water tower, not just a well, but a water tower for an orphanage and a school that the Pygmy kids started going to.
00:13:32.000 And now we've started farms on that 48 acres of new land.
00:13:35.000 I actually talked to Manny Pacquiao's team.
00:13:37.000 One of their missions is to build homes.
00:13:40.000 And Manny Pacquiao, yesterday, his executive director gave us confirmation that they're going to donate $50,000 to us to help complete 32 homes for these 32 surviving families.
00:13:51.000 And so they're actually being taught how to drill wells and be part of that process, how to farm with agriculturalists, growing corn, cassava, potatoes, and peanuts.
00:14:05.000 But also we're about to start teaching them how to make bricks, how to build homes.
00:14:08.000 And they're going to go from never having a real home, you know, living in the forest to then now being in these shacks to now that each family is going to have a two-bedroom home at least.
00:14:19.000 And then they're going to have a patio.
00:14:21.000 They're going to have a kitchen inside, a dining room.
00:14:22.000 It's just going to absolutely change their way of life.
00:14:26.000 So this 48 acres, is that enough for them to hunt on?
00:14:29.000 It's not enough for them to hunt on, so that's why we're having to teach them how to farm.
00:14:32.000 Now, if they can still go into the forest, that's going to be some talking with the...
00:14:37.000 They're allowed to go hunt for basically wild mushrooms or, I guess, gather.
00:14:42.000 They're allowed to go gather firewood.
00:14:43.000 They're allowed to go gather...
00:14:47.000 Like fruits and vegetables and roots.
00:14:50.000 Like wild plants.
00:14:51.000 But they can't hunt.
00:14:53.000 They can't hunt.
00:14:53.000 Yeah, it's wild.
00:14:55.000 In the Congo, it's much different because there's so much virgin for us.
00:14:58.000 It's been untouched and they can still go in there and they can hunt and gather.
00:15:03.000 They can get wild hog.
00:15:04.000 I mean, I've had...
00:15:06.000 I've had a diker, this little antelope.
00:15:08.000 I've had a hog.
00:15:09.000 I've had a parrot.
00:15:11.000 I've had a monkey there.
00:15:13.000 That's what we talked about.
00:15:16.000 There's an amazing documentary from the BBC on the Congo.
00:15:20.000 And one of the things that it covers is the diker.
00:15:23.000 And that the diker actually swims underwater.
00:15:26.000 I didn't know that.
00:15:27.000 Yeah, they swim underwater and eat fish.
00:15:30.000 Wow.
00:15:31.000 Yeah, this is what's crazy.
00:15:32.000 What the documentary was discussing was how rapid it was that these grasslands turned into rainforests.
00:15:42.000 Apparently it was a very drastic climate shift, and a lot of these plains animals got stuck in the Congo.
00:15:49.000 It's pretty wild, because you can see these herds, I guess they would be herds, of antelope.
00:15:57.000 Running through the swamp.
00:15:59.000 They're like trampling through this, like all these animals you would normally see like in these little grassy plains.
00:16:05.000 They're running through the water and this little diker, that little antelope thing, swims underwater.
00:16:10.000 They can swim underwater as long as 100 yards.
00:16:13.000 That's wild.
00:16:13.000 I didn't know that.
00:16:14.000 Have you ever seen an okapi or an okapi?
00:16:16.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 Cool looking.
00:16:18.000 That's like a zebra.
00:16:19.000 That's like a zebra butt and a giraffe head and then the body of an antelope or a big elk.
00:16:24.000 What is that related to though?
00:16:25.000 Is it related to a zebra?
00:16:26.000 It's actually the only other animal in the Giraffidae family.
00:16:29.000 So it's actually, if you look at their little horns and then also their long, long tongues, that's where they, they're part of the Giraffidae family.
00:16:35.000 I guess most all the, or all the other ones have been extinct.
00:16:39.000 But I've actually had a poacher, yeah, I had a poacher try to sell me its meat when it was fresh and then he came back and tried to sell me its pelt.
00:16:46.000 And those things are endangered.
00:16:48.000 There's only like a couple hundred of them or something like that, maybe 2,000 max in the world.
00:16:53.000 And they're only right there in Mombasa rainforest, in the Eturi rainforest.
00:16:57.000 They should bring them over here to Texas.
00:16:59.000 Yeah.
00:16:59.000 Put them on a high fence.
00:17:00.000 Yeah.
00:17:00.000 Well, what's crazy is they had a rebel group that went through the Okapi National Reserve.
00:17:05.000 This was probably in...
00:17:06.000 I think it was right before I was there or the year I was there.
00:17:09.000 This was like 2013 or 14, maybe 2012. But I believe it was the Mai Mai that went through there and they just started slaughtering these Okapi at the Okapi National Reserve.
00:17:19.000 So they got pushed out of where they were doing their illegal gold mining.
00:17:24.000 They had taken over this gold mine.
00:17:26.000 They slaughtered them for food?
00:17:27.000 No, they just slaughtered them by meanness when they were fleeing.
00:17:30.000 When they were fleeing, they went through there and they just murdered them.
00:17:32.000 Just for fun?
00:17:33.000 Just for fun.
00:17:34.000 Yeah.
00:17:35.000 Just out of meanness.
00:17:36.000 So I actually saw that rebel leader, his name was Morgan.
00:17:40.000 I don't know if he went by like a code named Morgan, but anyways, they were dragging him behind the truck.
00:17:46.000 Whenever they had killed him, he like peacefully turned himself in, but I don't know, he had his rebel groups that were like looking in, so they killed him right there, and they took him out of there.
00:17:56.000 So you got to watch that.
00:17:58.000 Yeah, well, I got to watch his body be drugged.
00:18:00.000 You must have saw some wild shit over there.
00:18:02.000 Yeah, I saw a guy get killed.
00:18:04.000 He was accused of being a thief, but it was just outside this bar.
00:18:08.000 And normally at night, they boarded up.
00:18:11.000 Basically, if you think about an old Wild Wild West thing, they board it all up, shut it down whenever sunset comes.
00:18:19.000 That's the same thing there in the rainforest.
00:18:21.000 Because if a rebel group comes through, you want to already be prepared.
00:18:23.000 You don't want to be out after dark.
00:18:26.000 But there was this bar that was kind of staying open and...
00:18:29.000 These guys are drunk and they accuse the guy being a thief and everyone thought he was a thief and so mob justice happened and they literally just jumped him and they beat him to death and I tried to get in there and one of our well drillers grabbed me and said no no no if you go over there we're gonna turn on you and uh so it turns out those guys were just drunk they accused the guy being a thief they didn't like the guy they had like some feud with him they just accused him being a thief and he got killed and the next day when I came by in the morning He was in basically like a,
00:18:55.000 not a gutter, but a ditch.
00:18:58.000 And he was bent up like a pretzel.
00:18:59.000 I mean, it was awful.
00:19:01.000 It was a terrible scene.
00:19:02.000 And his body was just laying there?
00:19:03.000 Yeah.
00:19:03.000 No one did anything with it?
00:19:05.000 No one did anything.
00:19:05.000 I mean, eventually they did.
00:19:07.000 Their family would have to come get them.
00:19:08.000 But no one's going to come get them in the dark whenever rebel groups and things are somewhat in the area.
00:19:14.000 You never know when they can come through the town.
00:19:15.000 It's just like...
00:19:16.000 A Blood Diamond movie, something like that, where they'll drive through with the trucks and have the guys with the machine guns in the back.
00:19:23.000 And it's pretty crazy.
00:19:25.000 You know, there's a thing that happens when people go to really crazy environments.
00:19:30.000 They leave and then they have this bizarre desire to go back, to experience the thrill of the fear and the danger again.
00:19:43.000 You know, people talk about that with war.
00:19:46.000 You know, that's the part of the show, the movie The Hurt Locker, was about...
00:19:51.000 I haven't seen that yet.
00:19:51.000 It's about a guy who kind of, he's a veteran, but he kind of gets addicted to, or they imply, I believe that's...
00:20:01.000 Jamie, that's what it was about, right?
00:20:03.000 It's like the guy was addicted to the thrill of disarming bombs.
00:20:08.000 But people say that about places that they go to, that I've heard people talk about that, that are adventurers, that go to remote mountain ranges and almost lose their life, but they can't wait to go back for some strange reason.
00:20:21.000 Did you feel that about the Congo?
00:20:24.000 I felt almost, I don't know if it's survivor's guilt or what, but when I came back, I couldn't really sleep in my bed for quite a while.
00:20:32.000 I would say over two months.
00:20:35.000 And the reason was I didn't have a bed there.
00:20:37.000 I just slept on the dirt and the fire was my blanket.
00:20:40.000 So you wanted to sleep almost on the dirt here?
00:20:43.000 I guess.
00:20:44.000 I felt like they didn't have one, so maybe I didn't deserve one.
00:20:48.000 And I know that's twisted.
00:20:50.000 But I buried a couple of kids, a little boy named Mandibo, another boy named Babo.
00:20:56.000 Little Mo had died and Fina just recently died.
00:21:00.000 Well, she died in 2020. I met her when she had tuberculosis and she was seven years old and she just died at 14 years old and it was a lung thing.
00:21:08.000 They say it was, she had a dead lung in there and she needed a transplant, but it was while COVID was going on too.
00:21:14.000 And we got her out of the Congo and this was like February or March.
00:21:19.000 And we got her out of the Congo and got her to Uganda, got her to a good hospital.
00:21:25.000 And then they said we needed to take her to one other place.
00:21:28.000 To not have a lung transplant, but just to remove the dead.
00:21:31.000 I think it was the left lung inside of her.
00:21:34.000 And so in transport, whenever she was being taken there, she's 14 years old.
00:21:38.000 You know, she died.
00:21:39.000 And so we're trying to save her life, but we had to send her back in like a...
00:21:43.000 You know, a casket and that kind of stuff like messes with you and it's heartbreaking and you want to make sure it doesn't happen again for some of these kids and so I think I've been to at least five funerals of children under the age of five years old.
00:22:01.000 And so, you know, that kind of hard stuff, I mean, I've been told by Dr. Daniel Amen and some other people that I have PTSD from some of this stuff, you know, taking rape victims to the hospital right after they've been gang raped,
00:22:17.000 like tied to a tree and gang raped.
00:22:21.000 And when that kind of stuff happens, it's very brutal on the women mentally, but also physically, you know, sometimes they need surgeries and To try to help them be normal again.
00:22:31.000 Not to get too graphic, but there's a guy that won a Nobel Peace Prize.
00:22:37.000 He actually passed away now, but he's from the Congo.
00:22:39.000 He's from Goma.
00:22:39.000 And he was revolutionary or innovative in that surgery, like repairing women's and giving them a normal life again so they can stay clean and be hygienic and things like that.
00:22:53.000 So, it's been a lot.
00:22:55.000 And honestly, man, I was hoping to come in on this podcast and be, you know, more real and more raw.
00:23:04.000 I mean, I feel like I'm normally a pretty transparent dude on here.
00:23:07.000 And that's why I'm going through life.
00:23:09.000 But...
00:23:10.000 2020 was actually the hardest year of my life.
00:23:12.000 The first six months was the toughest six months of my life.
00:23:17.000 And then the last six months, even now, has been the best of my life, which has been an incredible turnaround.
00:23:23.000 But, man, I think this year, 2021, my goal is healing and kind of healing from the inside out.
00:23:32.000 I've been doing that physically from a lot of stuff that I've gotten there.
00:23:36.000 But I've been trying to do it like...
00:23:39.000 Emotionally or mentally and just mind and heart healing, but it's been quite a journey.
00:23:49.000 In March, I'd say that from 23 when I stopped drinking, What's cool about this moment for me is I'm not just been sober, sitting in defeat, maybe in these meetings where I don't have a hopeful life or a great life to live.
00:24:08.000 Those meetings can be great, but sometimes you see some old-timers and they're not living in victory or they're not walking free.
00:24:16.000 They're sitting in defeat.
00:24:18.000 And so, like, for me to be able to sit here with you and let you, you know, taste some of the greatest whiskey there is, and for me to be able to go up on a trip and experience that with whoever wins this raffle, it's going to be pretty incredible.
00:24:30.000 But in 2020, I was in 90 days of rehab, and I was also in 90 days of sober living.
00:24:40.000 And so I'd relapsed.
00:24:42.000 And it was mainly to Oxy, but also weed and some other things.
00:24:46.000 Did you get injured?
00:24:48.000 Well, I had a shoulder surgery.
00:24:50.000 Is that when you started taking oxys?
00:24:52.000 No.
00:24:55.000 Yes, I did.
00:24:55.000 And you actually helped a couple years ago.
00:24:59.000 My ex-wife had reached out and she was looking for something.
00:25:03.000 And I think you had told her about Kratom or Kratom.
00:25:05.000 It was from my phone.
00:25:07.000 And who's that?
00:25:08.000 Hamilton Morris?
00:25:09.000 Is that his name?
00:25:09.000 He had said about Kratom or Kratom here.
00:25:13.000 And that helped melt away the withdrawals.
00:25:16.000 Withdrawals from Oxy are...
00:25:21.000 Besides malaria, it's the next hardest thing I've ever gone through.
00:25:26.000 Were you on an excessive dose?
00:25:28.000 I was on it for four weeks and I had six or eight weeks worth of prescriptions.
00:25:35.000 But since I abused it so much from 17 to 23, whenever you take that stuff, you can get addicted within the first, I don't know, nine days.
00:25:46.000 Like you're hooked to it chemically.
00:25:48.000 It's one of the fastest...
00:25:49.000 It's almost like it's the pharmaceutical version of heroin, right?
00:25:52.000 So...
00:25:53.000 Whenever I had that shoulder surgery, it was such a brutal one.
00:25:55.000 I didn't want to go on Oxy at all.
00:25:57.000 But it was such a major surgery that I'd be in a cast where I couldn't move at all or sling for eight full weeks.
00:26:07.000 What did you get done?
00:26:09.000 I had my labrum.
00:26:10.000 And I had four, not pins, but anchors put in.
00:26:14.000 And there's some other stuff they did too, but that was the main part of it.
00:26:17.000 They like scraped out some There was a cyst that was sitting in there in between the labrum and in between the glenoid, the joint there.
00:26:23.000 So they just scooped that out.
00:26:25.000 Had a bunch of scar tissue.
00:26:27.000 And when they got in there, they thought it was going to take four hours.
00:26:29.000 We'll end up taking like eight hours.
00:26:32.000 And I'm grateful that that surgeon helped save my shoulder.
00:26:36.000 He actually sits on my board as the chairman of my board.
00:26:38.000 Now I fight for the forgotten.
00:26:40.000 And he's been such a gift to us and to me in my career, but also to us as an organization.
00:26:46.000 Your shoulder's all good now?
00:26:47.000 Yeah.
00:26:47.000 My left one's better than my right one.
00:26:49.000 Really?
00:26:49.000 Really.
00:26:51.000 Labrums are a weird one, right?
00:26:52.000 Because it's a cartilage.
00:26:53.000 Yeah.
00:26:53.000 It's like it doesn't get a good blood supply.
00:26:55.000 Right.
00:26:56.000 They say labrum surgery for people when they get to a certain age, it's like basically useless.
00:27:01.000 Right.
00:27:01.000 Well, that's why I'm really glad we got that treatment in our shoulders and our knees to keep it growing new tissue.
00:27:09.000 Yeah.
00:27:10.000 But basically, after 10 years of mostly being sober, I had three major relapses where it was like 30 days, 9 days, and then 5 days.
00:27:22.000 So it was getting shorter and shorter.
00:27:24.000 But after my divorce, which was really healthy for both of us, and we're actually great friends, I want her to be awesome.
00:27:32.000 She's going to be a rock star counselor and help a lot of people.
00:27:35.000 I think?
00:27:54.000 And we really gave it our all.
00:27:57.000 But I also think the hardest part about it was it was such an easy divorce.
00:28:01.000 And so I don't know why I just let down my guard.
00:28:06.000 And for me, weed doesn't, I don't do weed like anyone else does.
00:28:12.000 Like if I get a pound, that will be gone in two or three weeks.
00:28:16.000 And so I just, I'll smoke an ounce a day almost or more sometimes.
00:28:22.000 Really?
00:28:22.000 Yeah.
00:28:22.000 So you were just rolling them all day?
00:28:24.000 Every single, or I go to the vapes and the gummies and everything else too, or the concentrates where I'm doing the dabbing.
00:28:31.000 What were you thinking while it was happening?
00:28:33.000 Were you thinking, I shouldn't be doing this?
00:28:35.000 Or were you thinking, I'm just going to escape?
00:28:37.000 For a little while.
00:28:39.000 A little while.
00:28:39.000 So in wrestling, you have a thing called a reset weekend.
00:28:43.000 After a big tournament, you want to just have a reset.
00:28:45.000 So you go party and get it out of your system, and you're right back in the gym on Monday or Tuesday.
00:28:50.000 And so I used to be able to do that.
00:28:53.000 That's even kind of fabricating that.
00:28:56.000 I've never been able to do that.
00:28:57.000 I found that out at rehab, really taking a hard look at it.
00:29:01.000 I decided not to go to, I could have gone to some of these places in Scottsdale or LA or Malibu, and I could have gotten massages and had the green smoothies and stuff like that, which can help a lot of people.
00:29:12.000 But me, after having like a 15 year off and on battle, 10 years where I was pretty solid.
00:29:18.000 And I'd come out of it and I'd get right back on the horse and I'd be good for years.
00:29:24.000 I decided I needed fight camp.
00:29:27.000 I needed a training camp.
00:29:28.000 I needed the right coaching, the right strategy.
00:29:31.000 And I needed people to ride me.
00:29:34.000 Be hard on me.
00:29:35.000 This is to get sober?
00:29:36.000 Yeah, this is to get sober.
00:29:37.000 So that's what I wanted.
00:29:39.000 And so I sought out one of the toughest places in America to go to.
00:29:42.000 It's kind of like a 12-step completion program.
00:29:46.000 It's a big book boot camp, but it's also like a...
00:29:49.000 It's developed a little bit out of like militaristic style.
00:29:53.000 And I don't know, it was really hard on you.
00:29:56.000 You know, I mean, while we were there, people were being called, you know, mask-wearing clowns, you fake as fuck, motherfucker.
00:30:02.000 And you Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde.
00:30:04.000 I mean, just like they would just grill people.
00:30:06.000 Is that good?
00:30:08.000 I don't know exactly, but it was what I needed at that moment.
00:30:14.000 Really?
00:30:14.000 It was what I needed at that moment because I needed to not run from it.
00:30:19.000 I needed to face it and I needed to look at the stuff.
00:30:23.000 Are the people running or people that have gotten clean this way?
00:30:26.000 Yes.
00:30:27.000 And they have an 87% success rate for the people that do 90 days.
00:30:32.000 Now, a lot of them only do 45. Some of them only do 60 days.
00:30:36.000 And then I would say probably more than half of the people that went there ended up leaving because of how hard it was.
00:30:42.000 Right.
00:30:58.000 You'd have this, what they call an allergy set off.
00:31:00.000 You have an abnormal reaction to a substance just like someone else can't have peanuts.
00:31:06.000 I can't have drugs or alcohol because when I do, an allergy goes off that says in my body I have an abnormal reaction that says...
00:31:13.000 You know, I know rationally that one is too many, but whenever I have that first use, a thousand's not enough.
00:31:20.000 I got to keep having it.
00:31:21.000 And this is explained to you by these people at this rehab or this is just your own feeling?
00:31:26.000 No, no, this was explained.
00:31:27.000 And there's this doctor that's really great.
00:31:29.000 His name's Dr. Kevin and he's got like a Irish last name, but he's he's got some stuff on I think Netflix and Amazon and he was a Navy surgeon and Basically like he ended up writing himself scripts for oxy and then he was injecting himself with other stuff and he got put in a Prison a military prison that one that got taken down and like Kansas.
00:31:53.000 I forget what it's called and But anyway, Leavenworth or something like that, he was put in that prison.
00:31:57.000 Anyways, now he's spent his time there really trying to help people in addiction.
00:32:01.000 And that cycle of addiction basically is explained as after you have that first use and that allergy set off, now you go on your spree.
00:32:08.000 Because what that doctor did, why he brought him up, was he shows scientifically through brain research that an addict's brain is different, like they don't have enough dopamine receptors.
00:32:18.000 And whenever that hits, now all of a sudden it goes back to that almost hunter-gatherer brain.
00:32:22.000 Where it says, this is a priority for survival.
00:32:26.000 Like, that's why some addicts will prioritize it above food or water or family.
00:32:32.000 And you see them do irrational things.
00:32:34.000 And then they go on this run.
00:32:35.000 And then when they, after that spree, after that run, they come out of it and they emerge remorseful.
00:32:41.000 They feel terrible.
00:32:42.000 I've had moments like that.
00:32:44.000 And then all of a sudden you make a firm resolution.
00:32:47.000 That's what you back it up with.
00:32:48.000 Is that what you felt when you did it the first 30 days?
00:32:52.000 Yeah, I came out, I emerged remorseful, and then I promised myself, I promised my wife at the time, I promised my family, friends, that this isn't who I want to be.
00:33:03.000 And what they say about an addict is you could hook them up to a lie detector And they absolutely 100% mean it.
00:33:09.000 That they never intend to use again.
00:33:12.000 But then what happens is they back with that firm resolution.
00:33:14.000 I promise.
00:33:15.000 This was the last time.
00:33:16.000 All of a sudden you get restless, irritable, and discontented.
00:33:20.000 Well, whenever an addict gets restless, irritable, discontented, I would ask the question, what's the difference between discontent and discontented?
00:33:27.000 You might be a little restless, but discontented?
00:33:32.000 Basically says, well, if discontent is I'm thirsty, discontented is there's not enough water in the whole world to quench this thirst.
00:33:39.000 And so you get in that place where you have this mental obsession.
00:33:42.000 So you have this mental obsession, you get restless, irritable, and discontented, and then you go back to that first use.
00:33:47.000 And then you get stuck in that cycle of addiction again.
00:33:49.000 And that's where I lived for five years from 17 to 23 was I was just looping back and forth.
00:33:54.000 So you'd get sober for a little bit, then go back again?
00:33:57.000 From 17 to 23, no.
00:33:59.000 I wouldn't get sober, hardly at all.
00:34:00.000 I would get sober for my fights, the eight weeks of fight camp, ten weeks of fight camp.
00:34:05.000 But then that's why Grudge Training Center had to kick me out, you know?
00:34:11.000 I mean, Brendan was on that vote.
00:34:12.000 I think Rashad, Nate Marquardt, Shane Carwin, Dwayne Bang Ludwig.
00:34:18.000 All those guys that invited me on the team after I got off the Ultimate Fighter, it was just a short while later that they were having to ask me to leave the team.
00:34:26.000 It was like a vote.
00:34:27.000 Elliott Marshall, Trevor Whitman.
00:34:30.000 I think Justin Gaethje was just starting to come up.
00:34:32.000 I don't know if he was actually training full-time then, but he was still at Northern Colorado State or Northern Colorado Wrestling there.
00:34:39.000 But they said, you know, Justin, like, you, we love you, but you got to go.
00:34:46.000 You got to go get help.
00:34:46.000 And I should have went and got helped.
00:34:48.000 But that's when I found my purpose with the Pygmies.
00:34:50.000 I've heard this quote that said, no act of kindness, no matter how small, ever goes wasted.
00:34:55.000 And so I started at the local children's hospital, became a local volunteer, went through night school for it.
00:35:01.000 Later, you remember HDNet and Inside MMA with Boss Ruten?
00:35:05.000 Those guys came out to the Denver Children's Hospital.
00:35:08.000 This was like nine months of me being sober.
00:35:11.000 All of a sudden now I have Rashad visiting the kids and Shane Carwin, Dwayne Bang, Brennan Shaw visiting the kids that I would push around in the wheelchairs and stuff.
00:35:19.000 It gave me purpose.
00:35:20.000 And that purpose helped me stay sober.
00:35:22.000 Sorry.
00:35:22.000 So 2020, this was the first time you had had anything since 2000?
00:35:28.000 10. It wasn't.
00:35:30.000 I'd had three pretty big relapses.
00:35:32.000 So 10 whole years of sobriety.
00:35:35.000 Pretty much, but I'd relapsed three times in that time.
00:35:37.000 Oh, in the 10 years?
00:35:39.000 In the 10 years.
00:35:39.000 I'd relapse for 30 days.
00:35:40.000 I'd relapse for 9 days.
00:35:41.000 And I'd relapse for 5 days.
00:35:43.000 Oh, because these are different relapses.
00:35:45.000 Yeah.
00:35:45.000 This is not the ones you're talking about, the recent ones with your shoulder.
00:35:49.000 No, that led in, that 5 day, then led into a big one.
00:35:54.000 I'll go ahead and explain it.
00:35:55.000 I was confused.
00:35:55.000 Because when you said 30 days, I thought you meant this year.
00:35:59.000 No, no.
00:35:59.000 Not this year.
00:36:01.000 Basically, March to May 15th.
00:36:07.000 Well, I was out.
00:36:07.000 I was out there using.
00:36:09.000 And I felt so much shame and so much guilt because I've been on your show.
00:36:17.000 I've been doing good things.
00:36:19.000 I've been really trying to live the right life.
00:36:24.000 And my marriage failed, which is okay.
00:36:27.000 That happens.
00:36:28.000 And I just took on a lot of, like, shame.
00:36:30.000 I couldn't, you know, have that relationship be a success.
00:36:35.000 Then whenever I went back to weed, all of a sudden that weed, I just kept going more and more and more and more.
00:36:40.000 And then all of a sudden I found Oxy.
00:36:42.000 Then all of a sudden I found Coke.
00:36:44.000 So you started with weed?
00:36:46.000 Yeah.
00:36:46.000 But then I went right to the Oxy.
00:36:48.000 And what I would do in my addict mind, I would think it would sound rational.
00:36:52.000 I'll just have weed so I don't go back to Oxy.
00:36:55.000 And that will help me with pain if I'm injured because I'd actually hurt my neck training with Raphael a little bit.
00:37:02.000 And he was sweeping me and I put my head out.
00:37:05.000 Whenever I put my head out, I crunched right on top of my neck or my head.
00:37:09.000 And it just sent this like crunch down into my cervical neck and it was hurting.
00:37:15.000 I was hurting more emotionally and I was stuffing it.
00:37:19.000 I wasn't looking at it.
00:37:19.000 I was stuffing it, stuffing it, stuffing it.
00:37:22.000 And then what happened was I felt so much shame.
00:37:24.000 I told my board I needed rehab.
00:37:27.000 And I said, I need help.
00:37:29.000 Like, I've relapsed.
00:37:31.000 I need help, and they've always supported me.
00:37:32.000 But I was scared that would they support me in this?
00:37:36.000 You know, if I'm the leader of the organization or the founder and the spokesperson, you know, we've got an incredible internal team.
00:37:43.000 But, like, we've had donors from thousands, thousands of donors from all 50 states and 59 countries.
00:37:51.000 You know, did I just let everybody down?
00:37:53.000 You know, is this going to be taken from me?
00:37:56.000 Is this life of purpose that I found, you know, am I going to lose it all?
00:38:01.000 And I felt so much shame.
00:38:02.000 They were going to send me to a place in Oklahoma, not to knock it at all.
00:38:05.000 But I had known people from the recovery world because I had been going and sharing my story of recovery in rehabs, in different sober living homes.
00:38:17.000 And now all of a sudden I'm back to where they are.
00:38:19.000 What is this rehab place, you said, this hard ass rehab place that has an amazing percentage of people get successful?
00:38:25.000 It's out of Dallas-Fort Worth and it's called Stone Gate.
00:38:28.000 And I don't think they advertise it as that hard, but it is that hard.
00:38:31.000 And I wanted a place, once I talked to them, I realized like...
00:38:34.000 So they yell at you and shit?
00:38:36.000 They do.
00:38:37.000 They absolutely do.
00:38:37.000 Did they yell at you?
00:38:38.000 They did yell at me.
00:38:39.000 Really?
00:38:39.000 I had a 21-year-old kid yelling at me.
00:38:41.000 Over what?
00:38:42.000 Over a green towel.
00:38:44.000 Did you want to tackle him?
00:38:45.000 I was just like, bro, I kind of wanted to at first.
00:38:50.000 What they think is they got to humble you.
00:38:52.000 And I'm like, man, life has humbled me.
00:38:53.000 That's why I'm here.
00:38:54.000 Right.
00:38:55.000 And I've been humbled enough.
00:38:56.000 And now I came here to get help.
00:38:58.000 But their whole thing is if there's no bullshit, if they get to you to actually look at your We're good to go.
00:39:26.000 And, I mean, we had people that were Ivy League professors, professional athletes.
00:39:31.000 Explain.
00:39:31.000 I'm not sure.
00:39:32.000 But we had people also from, like, homeless shelters.
00:39:34.000 What do you mean, a hot box?
00:39:35.000 A hot box kills any of the, like, bed bugs.
00:39:38.000 Oh.
00:39:38.000 So if someone were to bring bed bugs in and get in the mattresses and things like that, like if someone came from a homeless shelter or from the streets.
00:39:45.000 How could they afford it?
00:39:47.000 I don't know, honestly.
00:39:48.000 I think there was, like, a scholarship program because some of the people were paying $895 a day there.
00:39:52.000 I think that's what they charge insurance.
00:39:55.000 It was expensive, man.
00:39:57.000 So I just went through the divorce and I basically gave the finances we had so she could go back to school and I was going to restart.
00:40:03.000 And then all of a sudden I need rehab and that's expensive.
00:40:07.000 Insurance helped, but then I had to match that.
00:40:09.000 Do you find yourself, this is a weird question, but I think it's valid.
00:40:15.000 Do you find yourself always in like a new problem?
00:40:18.000 Do you create problems, do you think?
00:40:23.000 I think I try to help find a solution to problems.
00:40:26.000 But I think for me...
00:40:27.000 You asked me a question after we got the treatment on our shoulders and our knees.
00:40:32.000 You asked, what are you manifesting to have this sickness?
00:40:34.000 All these sicknesses inside of you.
00:40:37.000 I think now...
00:40:38.000 That's not exactly how I said it.
00:40:40.000 That's not exactly how I said it.
00:40:41.000 I said, do you wonder if you're doing that?
00:40:43.000 Yes, you're right.
00:40:44.000 Because sometimes people do...
00:40:45.000 Do you wonder if you're bringing this into your life?
00:40:47.000 Sometimes people do create problems.
00:40:49.000 It's like...
00:40:50.000 They find themselves in this eternal state of conflict.
00:40:54.000 Like, some people, they figure their way through life with very little conflict.
00:41:00.000 They're magical people.
00:41:00.000 I know a few of them.
00:41:02.000 It's rare.
00:41:03.000 Some people are constantly engaged in some...
00:41:07.000 Insurmountable problem.
00:41:08.000 And then they also go and, like in your case, you find insurmountable problems like what you're doing with the Congo and the Pygmies and Uganda and helping these people.
00:41:20.000 It gives you purpose and it helps define your life in a positive way.
00:41:26.000 Yeah.
00:41:27.000 Then when you're not there, problems come up again.
00:41:30.000 Like all kinds of major problems.
00:41:32.000 There's always something, right?
00:41:34.000 Yeah.
00:41:34.000 We've had some health problems for sure.
00:41:36.000 And then these relapses that had happened were really tough.
00:41:40.000 The biggest one was this one in March.
00:41:43.000 And let me tell you what happened because I didn't want to go to this rehab in Oklahoma that I had known people that were there that talked.
00:41:52.000 It had a reputation for people using while they're even there because they could have their phones at 5 p.m., They could have visitors.
00:42:01.000 They could go to Walmart two or three days a week.
00:42:03.000 And then you can call your connection and they could leave it to you at Walmart.
00:42:07.000 They could throw it over the gate and it's on 110 acres and they can send you a picture of where it's at.
00:42:13.000 And you can just go dig it up or find it and use.
00:42:15.000 And I wanted a place where I wasn't going there for that.
00:42:19.000 I knew I was going to get sober, but I didn't want to be around other people.
00:42:23.000 So they take your phone away?
00:42:24.000 Yeah, you don't have your phone.
00:42:25.000 Paper underwear.
00:42:26.000 Paper underwear.
00:42:27.000 How comfortable are paper underwear?
00:42:28.000 It's terrible.
00:42:29.000 But you get it back the next day or that night.
00:42:32.000 After it gets out of the hotbox.
00:42:34.000 After it gets out of the hotbox, you get your clothes.
00:42:35.000 So it's one day of paper underwear.
00:42:35.000 So that's how I get my towels back.
00:42:37.000 I brought nice towels, and they gave me my towels back.
00:42:40.000 Well, this guy's doing room checks.
00:42:41.000 Room checks are every day, at least once a day.
00:42:47.000 And anyways, he found my green towels.
00:42:48.000 It's my first like 24 hours being there.
00:42:50.000 You didn't know that you didn't?
00:42:52.000 I didn't know you couldn't have green towels.
00:42:53.000 They'd given them back to me.
00:42:55.000 So also I was using that and he gave me an infraction.
00:42:58.000 And if you get three infractions, you lose your phone call that week.
00:43:01.000 You don't even get one phone call until you've been in there three full weeks.
00:43:04.000 Because normally when guys go to rehab and then they start calling their families, they start feeling like, I got to get out of here.
00:43:09.000 I got to get home.
00:43:10.000 You start telling yourself this.
00:43:12.000 My family's more important to take care of than me right now.
00:43:15.000 When really you're in crisis mode and you've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
00:43:20.000 And so I'd gotten two infractions for the two green towels I had.
00:43:25.000 And I was about to lose my phone call at the three-week mark.
00:43:28.000 And if you get three infractions in those first three weeks, you lose your phone call.
00:43:33.000 I got two for things I didn't even know I couldn't have.
00:43:35.000 What was the other one?
00:43:36.000 No, that was the green towel.
00:43:38.000 He took one green towel and started walking off with it.
00:43:40.000 He looked back and saw in my cubby that there was another green towel there.
00:43:43.000 So you had two infractions for the same thing.
00:43:45.000 Right.
00:43:46.000 What a dick.
00:43:48.000 But I would say that the counselors that were there and the recovery advocates, they're really hard on you because some of the guys that have left there, if they let them leave their overconfident, that they've got their problem nicked, then they can go right back out and relapse.
00:44:04.000 So how do they keep you from doing it again?
00:44:07.000 For me, well, they can't.
00:44:09.000 You have to keep yourself from doing it.
00:44:10.000 No one can keep me sober.
00:44:12.000 No therapist, no sponsor.
00:44:15.000 It's got to be me.
00:44:16.000 But what do they do to give you the tools to let you do it yourself?
00:44:22.000 I think you really start to unwind the tangled web of why you use.
00:44:30.000 And for me, it's always been like self-worth.
00:44:32.000 It's been like that bullying moment when I was a kid.
00:44:38.000 My record can go right back to the three things the kids told me.
00:44:43.000 And so I dressed up for a costume party.
00:44:45.000 I went to my middle school crush's birthday party.
00:44:48.000 I got crushed there because I was dressed up like a Dr. Pepper Transformer, 24-pack on my head, 12-packs on my arms.
00:44:54.000 I went all out.
00:44:55.000 Everyone was excited because she loved Transformers, Optimus Prime.
00:44:58.000 I went as Dr. Optimus Pepper.
00:45:00.000 Anyways, I get there, go to the backyard, and when the door opens, I get hit with a couple flashes of light.
00:45:05.000 And it's them taking pictures.
00:45:07.000 I hear the sound of laughter.
00:45:08.000 I see that no one else is dressed up.
00:45:10.000 And my middle school crush said, I can't believe you thought you were good enough to come to my party.
00:45:14.000 Right next to her, a boy said, you're worthless.
00:45:18.000 And then my notorious bully from like third to eighth grade said, you should just kill yourself.
00:45:23.000 And so that leads to basically, whenever I would relapse, I would say to myself, you're not good enough.
00:45:30.000 You're worthless.
00:45:31.000 Maybe you should just kill yourself.
00:45:33.000 You know, I was suicidal at 13. I didn't kill myself because of my mom.
00:45:37.000 I thought, what would this do to her?
00:45:38.000 Do you still go back to that one day?
00:45:41.000 Like that one day when you were a child hurt you so badly.
00:45:44.000 That's still in your mind almost as like a benchmark for who you are.
00:45:50.000 I did and that's why I think I've really come to a place of like self-love seeing myself that like...
00:45:57.000 When?
00:45:57.000 I'm needed.
00:45:58.000 Well, the last six months.
00:46:00.000 But this is after your UFC career, after your Bellator career, all the amazing things you've done with Fight for the Forgotten, all the times you've been to the Congo.
00:46:08.000 I would know it, but when I would relapse, I would feel like such a piece of garbage.
00:46:13.000 I would feel like I was a disappointment to myself, but also to everybody else.
00:46:19.000 And that...
00:46:22.000 Let me tell you what happened in Mexico.
00:46:24.000 So I end up going, I asked to go to a different place, and they just wanted to get me into rehab as soon as possible, which I really admire and respect.
00:46:32.000 But I knew it was a place that didn't have a good success rate.
00:46:34.000 Why in Mexico?
00:46:35.000 I got on a plane, and I thought it was pretty symbolic.
00:46:41.000 It was COVID, so everything shut down.
00:46:46.000 And then, man, there's a statistic that was on CNN, and it said that in Japan last month.
00:46:52.000 And I don't know if this was last month in December or November, but in one month they had more suicides than all of COVID deaths in Japan.
00:47:03.000 In one month.
00:47:04.000 And it's because all these people are isolated.
00:47:06.000 And I know that when I'm in active addiction, what I do is I isolate, I sedate, I suppress, and I numb out.
00:47:14.000 And there's so many people that are going through This right now what I went through and I think kovat was a big part of that, you know Going straight from a divorce to then all of a sudden you're in isolation.
00:47:25.000 Yeah And then I just decided to use and then that's all I had to do and then kept going What was the feeling when you when you decide when you say okay, I'm gonna use like you make a conscious decision How do you get the weed like what what sets you off?
00:47:42.000 I was just hanging out with two people and they brought it out and I was like, you know what?
00:47:45.000 I can do this once and show myself.
00:47:47.000 So this is what that mental obsession is.
00:47:51.000 It'll be different this time.
00:47:53.000 I can use it this time and put it down.
00:47:55.000 See, I know people that are drunks that have figured out that they can smoke weed.
00:47:59.000 They can't drink, but they can smoke weed.
00:48:02.000 Well, I think maybe some people are that way, but for me...
00:48:04.000 So for you, it was anything that changes your consciousness.
00:48:08.000 Yeah.
00:48:09.000 Anything that has me drop out where I can...
00:48:12.000 Other people, whenever they smoke weed, maybe they get more creative.
00:48:15.000 Maybe they get more in love with themselves and nature and other people or they laugh, they have fun.
00:48:21.000 I wasn't.
00:48:22.000 When I smoke weed, I go dark.
00:48:24.000 I go dark, not to anybody else, but internally I go dark and I get depressed.
00:48:30.000 I get depressed and I can't stop, so I go for a couple weeks or a month.
00:48:37.000 You can't stop.
00:48:38.000 I can't stop.
00:48:38.000 But it's depressing you.
00:48:42.000 At rehab, they say, without a complete psychic change, without something happening to come in whenever you're in that restless, irritable, discontented, or that emerging remorseful and that firm resolution.
00:48:52.000 If you don't break that right there, you have like a pattern interrupt, which for me was rehab and sober living.
00:48:59.000 But you knew it was depressing you.
00:49:00.000 I knew it was, but I thought I could use it once.
00:49:02.000 But my mind would trick me saying...
00:49:04.000 So there's this analogy that this doctor used and...
00:49:08.000 It just made sense to me.
00:49:30.000 All of a sudden it's way better than I expected because in my brain, like literally biologically or whatever, it's giving me more dopamine because I have limited numbers of dopamine receptors.
00:49:42.000 And so now all of a sudden it gives me that and so I think I'm happy.
00:49:45.000 But if I really look back from a rational state of mind...
00:49:49.000 I might be happy for a moment, but then all of a sudden that fades and I keep going and it's with every inhale or what happens with Oxy.
00:49:55.000 So I get on this plane, I end up going down to Mexico and I thought I'd just use and come back whenever we found...
00:50:02.000 A better place.
00:50:03.000 Honestly, I thought I was going to go to Tulum and I was going to get in some healing waters and I was going to get away from my connection there.
00:50:09.000 And I was going to find a rehab place and then I was going to go, uh, come back and go straight to rehab.
00:50:16.000 And then I just got darker and darker and darker.
00:50:18.000 And I feel like, I don't know how to explain suicide to people, except for I some reason I go to this this place of seeing the Twin Towers get hit by those planes and it's the people that are stuck above They're stuck above the plane and it's smoldering and smokes going in their fires going in there and they're looking for a way out They try to find they can't go to the elevator.
00:50:46.000 They try to go to the staircase They look down.
00:50:48.000 It's it's smoldering black smoke.
00:50:50.000 They can't see awesome They come to an open window and no one wants to jump out of the window But some of those people in 9-11 did.
00:50:58.000 And it's almost like I have...
00:51:01.000 Either choice sucks.
00:51:04.000 But I can stay in the burning building.
00:51:06.000 Whenever I got snagged by this addiction this last time, I felt like it got to a point to where I'm not going to escape this time.
00:51:14.000 This time it's got me in a stranglehold that I can't get out of.
00:51:17.000 I can't fight it off.
00:51:18.000 I can't tuck my chin.
00:51:19.000 I can't pull the hands down.
00:51:20.000 I can't fight the hands.
00:51:21.000 I'm done.
00:51:22.000 I'm toast.
00:51:23.000 I'm in such a weakened state of mind or body or mentally, spiritually, physically.
00:51:30.000 I'm not going to escape.
00:51:32.000 And so when I actually got on that plane at 5 a.m., it was four flight attendants, two pilots, and me.
00:51:40.000 I have no idea why American Airlines still took that plane unless it was something with COVID funding that if they still operate, they get funding for it.
00:51:50.000 But they would have lost money on that, just taking one person down to Mexico.
00:51:54.000 They took me to Cancun, and I took a one-way ticket.
00:51:58.000 And the reason I took a one-way ticket was because I thought, I'm not coming back this time.
00:52:02.000 I'm not coming back from it.
00:52:04.000 And I ended up going and staying at this Airbnb there.
00:52:11.000 And I met a military veteran who was there, who was stoked that he bought this condo that was next to mine, my Airbnb.
00:52:20.000 And then he got a call that, like, the love of his life wasn't coming to the condo that he bought for them.
00:52:25.000 Basically, she said, if you went down there during COVID, you expect me to come down during COVID? Like, you know, I'm not coming.
00:52:32.000 And so he had his heart broken.
00:52:33.000 I was down there in a very negative space.
00:52:35.000 He had oxy on him.
00:52:37.000 He had PTSD. He had seen a lot of war.
00:52:42.000 He served a lot of time.
00:52:43.000 I guess he went on three different tours.
00:52:46.000 And I just started using those oxys with him.
00:52:49.000 And then we found his connection, which you can just buy him at the pharmacy there in Mexico.
00:52:53.000 But we ended up finding this guy that had weed, that Coke.
00:52:58.000 We got Oxy.
00:53:00.000 And then we asked him for Molly once.
00:53:04.000 And, you know, the guy had loose lips and he told him that I'm a fighter and this stuff.
00:53:09.000 Anyways, he ends up telling some of the cartel guys that are there.
00:53:12.000 We get invited up to this like penthouse apartment that's got like an infinity edge pool on it.
00:53:18.000 It's like this drug dealer.
00:53:19.000 I mean it looks like a guy out of he's got the silk shirt and the chains on and it looks like the jungle on top of this in Playa del Carmen kind of Cancun area.
00:53:30.000 And he's got all the drugs there for us to just use.
00:53:33.000 And for coke it was the best coke ever.
00:53:35.000 It made everything numb both sides of my nostrils.
00:53:39.000 And then I see people are reaching out.
00:53:41.000 They're trying to get a hold of me.
00:53:42.000 They love me.
00:53:43.000 They know that I've relapsed.
00:53:44.000 And I just feel like I can't come back.
00:53:46.000 I was hanging my head in shame.
00:53:49.000 And honestly, going, I thought it was so symbolic.
00:53:51.000 I didn't want to take a lot of people on this journey with me.
00:53:53.000 And I thought, I'm going here.
00:53:56.000 I'm not coming back.
00:53:57.000 I'm either going to die from the drugs or I'm going to purposely kill myself.
00:54:02.000 And so I was just in this negative, negative place, like felt defeated in that loop of that.
00:54:07.000 You're not good enough.
00:54:09.000 You're worthless.
00:54:09.000 You should just kill yourself.
00:54:11.000 Was just on repeat.
00:54:12.000 I was stuck in this thought loop.
00:54:13.000 That's really all back to when you were bullied when you were a kid.
00:54:15.000 That's what I feel like I discovered at, with Dr. Daniel Amen and at rehab and at these places like uprooting that, you know, these roots went so deep.
00:54:24.000 Do you meditate?
00:54:25.000 I do now.
00:54:26.000 When did you start?
00:54:27.000 I mean, off and on 10 years, but when I stopped practicing that, that's when I would relapse.
00:54:32.000 Yeah.
00:54:33.000 And then now, the greatest thing I discovered at rehab and at Sober Living was 180 days of daily meditation, prayer, and just like really going inward and like setting my day up to where I'm not in that negative of a place.
00:54:48.000 I haven't had an addiction problem on my tour.
00:54:51.000 I've ever found something that I couldn't stop doing.
00:54:54.000 But I feel like I get myself, I understand myself more when I take time in silence every day and I just reset my brain.
00:55:07.000 Yeah.
00:55:07.000 Well, I'm surrounded by a tribe now that does that.
00:55:11.000 Um, what I mean by that was getting out of rehab, having those connections of people that are now beating it and staying sober, but also I needed something a little different.
00:55:19.000 Like I don't want to be, I wanted something more tailored towards me and my needs and like just to share like Aubrey's been so great to me.
00:55:27.000 Aubrey Marcus, I shared with him what had happened and I saw that he started this fit for service and basically it's a mastermind group.
00:55:33.000 Of people that want to make their business or whatever their livelihood is make a difference in the world.
00:55:39.000 Basically the premise is to be of service, you must be fit for service, not just a rock star in business or there's actors and athletes and musicians and podcasters and authors and things like that.
00:55:51.000 You have to be fit relationally.
00:55:53.000 You have to have a tribe.
00:55:55.000 That's what I found in Congo and in Uganda that I didn't have here, really.
00:55:59.000 I didn't have these deep relationships of people I could completely be raw and vulnerable with, where I could share my wins with, but I could also share my biggest failures with.
00:56:08.000 Do you feel at peace?
00:56:10.000 Are you at peace?
00:56:11.000 Now I am, for sure.
00:56:11.000 You have this thing where you're always like, it seems like there's always a thing coming out of you.
00:56:16.000 Like there's always an, and then there's this, and then there's that, and then there's this, and there's that.
00:56:20.000 And they're like, there's no end to it.
00:56:24.000 Like when you talk about things, you talk about one thing into the next thing, into the next thing, almost like you're troubled.
00:56:31.000 Like you're immersing yourself into all these things.
00:56:34.000 Because you kind of can't help yourself.
00:56:36.000 Like you're just caught up in the wave of life.
00:56:40.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:56:42.000 I know what you're saying.
00:56:43.000 Whenever this last seven months has been the most at peace I've ever been.
00:56:48.000 And what?
00:56:51.000 I'm eight months sober.
00:56:53.000 And then I am really...
00:56:56.000 Let me share two experiences with you that brought me the most peace.
00:57:00.000 Because you were asking about that.
00:57:02.000 I don't know if I ever told you what took me to the Congo.
00:57:05.000 It was a sober vision, and I know that sounds out there, but experimenting with psychedelics and stuff, I've seen stuff, but this was me at 23, and I basically, in a time of meditation,
00:57:21.000 and I wasn't a praying dude at all, but prayer meditation, all I did was basically said, and I was volunteering at the children's hospital, I was volunteering at the rescue mission for the homeless, all this stuff, and But I basically just said, God, what do you want me to do with my life?
00:57:34.000 God, source, creator, whatever you want to put on it.
00:57:36.000 But I just said, God, what do you want me to do with my life?
00:57:40.000 And I had a movie in my mind.
00:57:42.000 And it was like visualization whenever you—at the Olympic training center, we had sports psychologists take us through visualization.
00:57:48.000 And you'd see yourself in whatever color singlet you're wearing.
00:57:51.000 You'd see yourself shake hands.
00:57:53.000 You'd hear the whistle blow.
00:57:55.000 You would see you setting up whatever takedown you're going for.
00:57:58.000 And sometimes you'd see yourself have the perfect match.
00:58:02.000 Sometimes you'd see yourself battle back from worst case scenario.
00:58:04.000 You get down.
00:58:05.000 What are you going to do?
00:58:06.000 Are you going to sink or swim?
00:58:08.000 Are you going to fight back, battle back?
00:58:11.000 Well, those were all like guided visualizations, right?
00:58:15.000 And I'd also do that by myself, like some music and headphones.
00:58:18.000 And this, though, was unlike anything like that because it was unprompted.
00:58:23.000 It wasn't like I was trying to conjure something up.
00:58:26.000 I just really felt like I needed direction.
00:58:28.000 I had stepped away from fighting for a little bit because win or lose, I had an excuse to use.
00:58:33.000 It was like if I won, I wanted to celebrate.
00:58:35.000 If I lost, I wanted to erase all that.
00:58:38.000 And this was 11 months sober at 23. And how'd you do that?
00:58:46.000 Honestly, I just kind of white-knuckled it and will-powered that.
00:58:49.000 And then I had a great group of people around me.
00:58:52.000 I would say I had this complete psychic change from almost a spiritual experience that I'm about to share with you where I say that prayer, God, what can we do with my life?
00:59:02.000 I think we talked about this before.
00:59:04.000 Really?
00:59:04.000 And I'm walking down the forest?
00:59:06.000 Yeah.
00:59:06.000 And I literally, like, I hear drumming, then I hear singing, and I come into a clearing.
00:59:10.000 I don't know if you've told me this on the podcast, but you've definitely told me this.
00:59:13.000 But go ahead, tell me again.
00:59:17.000 Sure.
00:59:17.000 I'm walking down this footpath, and I don't know where I am, and there's vines and thickets that are all around me, and I'm clearing out the vines, and the footpath is barely wider than my foot.
00:59:29.000 And I don't know where I'm going, but I hear drumming.
00:59:31.000 And then I hear singing.
00:59:32.000 I come into a clearing and I see these leaf huts.
00:59:35.000 And then the first guy I meet has like his ribs kind of poking out or how would I say?
00:59:39.000 He looked like a skeleton with skin on.
00:59:40.000 I knew that he was hungry, thirsty, poor, sick, oppressed, and enslaved.
00:59:45.000 I just had that knowledge.
00:59:46.000 And this was the most vivid thing I've ever seen that didn't actually happen.
00:59:50.000 It was 10 times, 20 to 100 times more vivid than the visualization drills that I did at the Olympic Training Center with my coaches for fights.
00:59:59.000 Like, it was so real.
01:00:01.000 And...
01:00:03.000 I come out of vision, feel like they were forgotten.
01:00:06.000 And I just knew all this stuff, like they're suffering.
01:00:09.000 And I cried a little puddle of tears.
01:00:12.000 I had no idea who they are, not a puddle, but like a little silver dollar size of like tears.
01:00:16.000 And I wept and I never wept like that for anyone in my life.
01:00:19.000 I know who they were, where they were, anything like that.
01:00:22.000 And three days later, I meet this guy named Caleb and Caleb had done humanitarian mission trips all over the world.
01:00:29.000 And he had lived with the Vanuatu people.
01:00:31.000 And I thought I was crazy, bro.
01:00:33.000 I literally thought I was crazy.
01:00:35.000 Is this some psychic break?
01:00:36.000 Is this some sort of mental breakdown that I saw something that I didn't try to conjure up?
01:00:42.000 I just had this experience.
01:00:44.000 I thought I would never tell anyone about it.
01:00:46.000 And then when I tell Caleb, who had been buddies with Bear Grylls, had done survival training with him, had went and visited the Maasai tribe, the hunting lions, I thought, if there's one guy I could tell this to, it's this guy.
01:00:59.000 And I end up telling him the vision.
01:01:02.000 He says, I know who they are.
01:01:04.000 I said, what?
01:01:05.000 He said, those are the pygmy people.
01:01:07.000 They live in the Congo basin rainforest.
01:01:09.000 It's in eight or nine African nations.
01:01:11.000 I'm like, who are they?
01:01:12.000 And he goes, they're in the Congo.
01:01:13.000 They're in all these other places.
01:01:14.000 And I'm like, where are they?
01:01:16.000 This is how I found out about the pygmies.
01:01:18.000 This is where this all began at 23 years old.
01:01:21.000 Like this guy tells me the people from your vision are the pygmy people.
01:01:25.000 Then I tell him the vision.
01:01:27.000 He goes, I'm supposed to go there in three and a half weeks.
01:01:29.000 This is crazy that we met because I had a team of three other people that were going with me, but they're all husbands, they're all fathers.
01:01:37.000 And the U.S. State Department just said no Americans go there for any reason.
01:01:42.000 That there's rebel groups that are actually decapitating people and different crazy things.
01:01:47.000 He said, look, come tell my wife this vision.
01:01:51.000 Her name's Jess.
01:01:53.000 And he said, if you come tell Jess, she asked me to cancel the trip, but you tell her this vision.
01:01:59.000 And so I told her the vision and literally he said, he looks at me and goes, Justin, if you go, I'll go.
01:02:05.000 And Jess said, if you go, he'll go.
01:02:08.000 And it was like the craziest thing to me that like he can go, he's married, he's got a kid and like he, but he was already planning on going in three and a half weeks.
01:02:16.000 And so we brought a buddy, Colin, along with us who took the, the, the photo that was just a candid photo.
01:02:22.000 That's the cover of my book.
01:02:23.000 It was my first hour in the Congo.
01:02:26.000 And so the sober vision literally took me there.
01:02:29.000 And then all of a sudden we land on this grass runway.
01:02:31.000 Monkeys are jumping off the runway.
01:02:33.000 We get out.
01:02:33.000 We drive six to eight hours.
01:02:35.000 We get on a dugout canoe.
01:02:38.000 We go across the river.
01:02:38.000 We start walking.
01:02:40.000 And then all of a sudden we hear drumming.
01:02:42.000 And then we hear singing.
01:02:44.000 And then we come into a clearing.
01:02:45.000 And the first guy we meet has tuberculosis.
01:02:47.000 And he's coughing.
01:02:49.000 And like they start telling us how they're hungry, they're thirsty, they're poor, they're sick, they're oppressed.
01:02:54.000 But before that happened, like before they start telling us their stuff, I just had to drop down into like a full squat.
01:02:58.000 I put my elbows on my knees.
01:03:00.000 I literally took a knee because I felt weak in the knees because I never experienced.
01:03:04.000 I didn't know stuff like this actually happens.
01:03:07.000 And I felt like it's who's going to believe this.
01:03:10.000 Like you found your purpose.
01:03:11.000 Yeah, I found my purpose.
01:03:13.000 But it was so wild to me that I was like, why did this happen?
01:03:16.000 That it came to you in a vision?
01:03:18.000 Yes, it came to me in a vision.
01:03:19.000 How did this happen?
01:03:21.000 I couldn't make logical sense of it.
01:03:22.000 Did you tell people about the vision other than this one friend?
01:03:25.000 I told Caleb, I told Colin, and I told his wife Jess.
01:03:28.000 That's it.
01:03:28.000 And I had a piece of paper that I wrote down, forgotten at the top, then hungry, thirsty, poor, sick, oppressed, enslaved.
01:03:34.000 And they knew it.
01:03:35.000 And it's been really cool, actually.
01:03:37.000 Jim and Susan, who helped me run Fight for the Forgotten, We had a dinner in Caleb's house in Nebraska, and Caleb and Jess were able to tell Jim and Susan their version of the story, which was awesome.
01:03:48.000 You know, he had this vision.
01:03:50.000 We went.
01:03:50.000 It happened.
01:03:51.000 Caleb was grabbing my shoulder like my trap.
01:03:53.000 He was like, this is your vision.
01:03:55.000 This is your vision.
01:03:56.000 And I didn't know what to do with it.
01:03:57.000 I felt like it was nuts.
01:04:00.000 But the chief came to us, and he gave us, after we stayed there for a couple weeks, he said, He gave me the one thing, you know, this is our 10 year anniversary, a fight for the forgotten.
01:04:09.000 We're calling it 10 years of promise because they gave me the one promise that I could keep.
01:04:15.000 And they said, I knew that they needed land, but I didn't know how to do that.
01:04:18.000 I didn't know how to drill water wells.
01:04:20.000 I was just a fighter.
01:04:21.000 I didn't know how to start farms.
01:04:23.000 And literally he said, he, he, Caleb and Colin are with me and he looks at me and says, we don't have a voice.
01:04:31.000 Can you help us have one?
01:04:33.000 He's looking right at me.
01:04:34.000 He motions to me.
01:04:35.000 Can you help us have one?
01:04:37.000 I start tearing up because Caleb and Colin know my vision and how it happened and what are you going to do with this, you know?
01:04:42.000 And I'm like, I don't know what to do with this.
01:04:49.000 We're good to go.
01:05:06.000 And then I'll tell you, since we're on these visions, I had only had one other time that I had experienced anything like this.
01:05:14.000 It's 10 years later.
01:05:15.000 I was in Sedona, and I was with Aubrey and Fit for Service, and there's like 178 people from all over the world.
01:05:21.000 And we met up in Sedona.
01:05:24.000 And there were classes, and not classes, but like breakouts on meditation.
01:05:28.000 And I never had like formal teaching, training on it, but we did a breathwork session.
01:05:32.000 And they split us up into three different groups.
01:05:34.000 And there's 170 people, so there's like maybe 50 people, a little over 50 people in each of the three groups.
01:05:40.000 And they're going to take us through three hours of breathwork.
01:05:43.000 Now it's a 30-minute teaching on the front, a 30-minute kind of integration at the end, but you're going to do two hours of breathwork.
01:05:52.000 And I guess to actually set that up, in Mexico, I took a cocktail that, honestly, I thought was going to stop my heart.
01:06:06.000 I took five Oxy-80s, 80 milligrams.
01:06:11.000 Basically, they do 5 milligrams, they do 10 milligrams, they do 20 milligrams, they do 40 milligrams, and then they do 80. So 5-oxy-80s is equivalent of like 40, or no, what is that?
01:06:24.000 I don't know.
01:06:25.000 It's 5-oxy-80s is what?
01:06:28.000 That's 80 5-milligram pills.
01:06:30.000 That's 85 milligram pills.
01:06:32.000 That's like almost three prescription bottles of 30, you know, 10 shy.
01:06:36.000 I took all that at once.
01:06:38.000 I took the biggest line of Coke I've ever taken.
01:06:41.000 I drank like half a bottle of tequila, one of those smaller bottles, but I took like half a bottle of tequila.
01:06:47.000 And then I had bought what I thought was Molly, this like crystallized Molly.
01:06:51.000 And my motor skills were slowing.
01:06:53.000 This was April 5th.
01:06:55.000 The night of April 5th was the darkest night of my life.
01:06:58.000 Actually, it wasn't the night.
01:06:59.000 It was about noon or 2 p.m.
01:07:02.000 Like, April 4th was the darkest night of my life.
01:07:04.000 And then April 5th, when I woke up, I was just like, I was tired.
01:07:07.000 I felt like the addiction had snagged me that I wasn't going to escape.
01:07:11.000 What did you think the crystal stuff was?
01:07:14.000 I thought it was molly.
01:07:15.000 And what was it?
01:07:16.000 Turned out to be red phosphorus meth.
01:07:20.000 Red phosphorus meth.
01:07:21.000 Red phosphorus meth.
01:07:22.000 What is the...
01:07:23.000 I guess that's the strongest meth in the world.
01:07:25.000 That's what the dictionologist at rehab told me.
01:07:28.000 And they said, literally, Justin, just the cocktail you took was 100% a heart-stopping cocktail if you hadn't had that crystal of that meth.
01:07:36.000 That meth is the only thing that kept your heart beating.
01:07:38.000 What?
01:07:39.000 When I sat down, when I sat down on the bed, Because the five Oxy-80s, the cocaine, the...
01:07:44.000 Oh, I had five Xanax, two milligrams also.
01:07:47.000 Jesus Christ.
01:07:48.000 So the meth kept you alive.
01:07:50.000 The meth kept my heart beating.
01:07:51.000 And the next morning I woke up.
01:07:53.000 I remember my motor skills slowing to where if I would have tried to talk, I wouldn't have been able to.
01:07:58.000 Um, the table was maybe right where you're sitting and the bed was where I was sitting.
01:08:02.000 So it wasn't that far, but I remember I only took, I didn't take them what I thought was the Molly until after everything started getting dark or just kind of cold.
01:08:12.000 And then the last thing I did was I crushed up that, that Molly or what I thought was Molly and I crushed it up and I snorted it.
01:08:19.000 On both sides of my nostrils, and I never felt a burn like that in my life in my nostrils, because it was this, whatever, this chemical of methamphetamine.
01:08:28.000 And I sat back on the bed, and I remember I laid back with my arms out, and my feet were off to where the next morning my ankles were swollen, because I just fell back and passed out.
01:08:40.000 I woke up at maybe like 6am the next morning.
01:08:43.000 It was right before the sun rose.
01:08:45.000 And I remember I woke up and I woke up with a gas.
01:08:48.000 It was like a...
01:08:48.000 And I thought in my head, I was like, shit, I'm alive.
01:08:52.000 Fuck, I'm still here.
01:08:56.000 And I went out and I was in my clothes from the day before.
01:09:00.000 I mean, bro, I was passed out for like 18, 20 hours, something like that, from like noon until like maybe 6 a.m.
01:09:06.000 the next morning or 2 p.m.
01:09:07.000 to like 6 a.m.
01:09:08.000 the next morning.
01:09:10.000 And people that take meth, like they can't sleep.
01:09:13.000 And that was my first time or only time, but they normally can't sleep for days.
01:09:20.000 And now all of a sudden I pass out for that long because I had all that other stuff in my system.
01:09:25.000 I went out and I got in the water.
01:09:28.000 And I take my shirt off and I just get in.
01:09:31.000 And I remember I was sitting on my knees on the sand in the water.
01:09:35.000 The water's coming up kind of on my chest and over my shoulders.
01:09:39.000 And it was kind of grounding, but I just remember trying to connect to my breath and also my heart, because my heart was racing like crazy.
01:09:46.000 And I remember, like, saying thank you for the beating heart in my chest.
01:09:51.000 Like, thank you, because I wasn't planning on waking up the next day, and I did.
01:09:55.000 And then I was saying thank you for the beating heart in my chest.
01:09:58.000 And then I started saying thank you for the breath that's in my lungs.
01:10:05.000 And I had my eyes closed.
01:10:07.000 And before I started saying thank you though, I remember like these waves coming over me and it was almost like the shamefulness was coming over me with every wave.
01:10:15.000 Like just so much shame because of what I did the night before, day before.
01:10:20.000 And then whenever I started thinking myself or being thankful for the breath of my lungs, being thankful for that crazy beating heart in my chest, it's like it kind of switched to like gratefulness all of a sudden.
01:10:32.000 And maybe like the shamefulness was leaving.
01:10:33.000 You know how waves can kind of come over you and then they go back out and they kind of come over you.
01:10:37.000 It was kind of like just all of a sudden it changed like gratefulness and a little bit of the shamefulness kind of left.
01:10:43.000 And I just felt a sense like open your eyes.
01:10:47.000 Like a thought in my mind, just open your eyes.
01:10:48.000 And when I open my eyes, like literally on the horizon, in Playa del Carmen, like the sun just pops up over the sunrise.
01:10:57.000 Or the sunrise starts to appear on the horizon.
01:11:00.000 And I just sat there and I was like, I was dumbfounded.
01:11:03.000 Or I was like, blown away because I watched the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen in my life.
01:11:08.000 So explain to me this.
01:11:10.000 You have this revelation.
01:11:11.000 You realize you want to live.
01:11:14.000 You feel grateful.
01:11:14.000 You feel thankful.
01:11:16.000 You feel ashamed that you almost killed yourself and that you were using.
01:11:19.000 But yet you still have to go to rehab.
01:11:21.000 Yeah.
01:11:22.000 Why?
01:11:22.000 Why?
01:11:24.000 I think it was because...
01:11:26.000 Did you use again after that?
01:11:28.000 I did.
01:11:29.000 That's why I went to rehab.
01:11:31.000 When did you use again?
01:11:32.000 I came back.
01:11:34.000 And I came back and...
01:11:36.000 How long later?
01:11:37.000 I came back on, I don't know, a few days after that.
01:11:40.000 And a few days after that, what did you do?
01:11:43.000 I took a flight.
01:11:44.000 I was waiting for flights to come back.
01:11:46.000 What did you do in terms of drugs?
01:11:48.000 I was smoking weed.
01:11:48.000 I was still taking some of the pills.
01:11:51.000 Waiting for the flights to come back?
01:11:52.000 Because they were not taking flights because of COVID. They had to consolidate our flight until it was me and one other guy coming back.
01:12:03.000 And they postponed our flights for like three or four days.
01:12:07.000 And so I was using it in that time because I was going through a draw.
01:12:10.000 You can go through a draw quick.
01:12:12.000 I mean, I was using from March 1st or 2nd to then this is like April 6th that I have this revelation that I do need to come back and go to rehab, but I can't stop.
01:12:24.000 So you were in Mexico for how long?
01:12:26.000 I was only there for like, I don't know, end of March.
01:12:31.000 So I was there like two weeks, but I was using the whole time.
01:12:35.000 I was there two weeks and I was using the whole time I was there.
01:12:38.000 So after this revelation, where you're in the water and you're thankful for your heartbeat...
01:12:44.000 How do you use again?
01:12:46.000 What is the thought process?
01:12:48.000 If you realize that you want to be alive and that you are valuable and that you've just tricked yourself into falling into this trap again, how do you allow yourself to use again?
01:13:03.000 What is, like, what happens in your mind?
01:13:05.000 Do you remember?
01:13:08.000 I still had some there.
01:13:11.000 Don't let it go to waste.
01:13:12.000 I know that's stupid.
01:13:13.000 That's hilarious.
01:13:15.000 Yeah.
01:13:15.000 Don't let that poison go to waste.
01:13:17.000 Yeah.
01:13:17.000 And then also, I think just the addict mind of, like, withdrawals suck whenever you go through oxywithdrawal.
01:13:24.000 Like, you feel like, I remember the time I was going through withdrawal after surgery, and I felt like I was going to shake the mattress off of the bed frame and I was sweating through it.
01:13:35.000 But you already knew about Kratom.
01:13:38.000 Yeah, but I didn't have any access to it there in Mexico.
01:13:40.000 You couldn't get Kratom in Mexico?
01:13:42.000 I guess I could have gone and found it, but I had this and I was looking for my flights and I was going back to rehab and I guess I thought, I'm going to get sober at rehab.
01:13:50.000 I'm going to get sober at rehab.
01:13:52.000 And for me, it's one thing to say you want to fight in the UFC, but you've got to go to training camp.
01:13:58.000 You've got to get the right skill, the right training.
01:14:02.000 And that's what you felt like rehab was going to give you.
01:14:04.000 Right.
01:14:05.000 And because I had tried to do it on my own for a long time, and I'd done it well at times.
01:14:11.000 But then I would always go back.
01:14:14.000 And so I... But you went 10 years.
01:14:17.000 You just had a few...
01:14:18.000 10 years where I had three relapses within that time.
01:14:21.000 Right.
01:14:22.000 30 days.
01:14:23.000 So I can't say I had 10 years.
01:14:24.000 When was the last time...
01:14:27.000 How long have you been sober for?
01:14:29.000 I relapsed that five days in November of 2019. And then in March of 2020, after the divorce, that's whenever I went all in.
01:14:40.000 And before 2019, how long had it been?
01:14:45.000 Maybe a couple of years.
01:14:48.000 And the time frame was getting shorter and shorter.
01:14:51.000 And so that's what was concerning to me.
01:14:55.000 The time frame in between.
01:14:57.000 In between sober.
01:14:59.000 But the time frame of the binges were shorter as well.
01:15:03.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:15:04.000 You're a glass half-empty guy.
01:15:06.000 No, I'm a glass half-full guy.
01:15:09.000 I'm very hopeful.
01:15:10.000 I'm a hope-filled guy.
01:15:12.000 So you will never use again?
01:15:14.000 I will never use oxy, alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, those kind of substances, unless it's under the care of a doctor.
01:15:27.000 I am open to, I'm talking with a place called Aluma here in Austin.
01:15:31.000 They do ketamine transfusions and what they do that for is for addicts.
01:15:35.000 They work with recovery centers and they work with PTSD, childhood trauma, and they're seeing great things.
01:15:42.000 So I've talked with those doctors.
01:15:44.000 I'm willing to look at that and see if that's the right thing, but I want to do it under care of like actual specialists that have like Have you thought about Ibogaine?
01:16:02.000 I have thought about that, and it's in Africa.
01:16:04.000 Well, no, you can get it in Mexico.
01:16:05.000 Well, you can get it there, too, but it comes from the aboga tree, which is in Africa.
01:16:09.000 In the Congo Basin rainforest, where I lived.
01:16:12.000 And the pygmies do it as a rite of passage for the end of manhood.
01:16:16.000 But it has a great reputation.
01:16:19.000 For people with heroin and oxygen.
01:16:21.000 Alcohol, cigarettes, gambling even.
01:16:24.000 It stops withdrawals.
01:16:25.000 It stops even, not the temptation, but the desire to go back to it.
01:16:32.000 Patterns of the mind are fascinating to me.
01:16:34.000 Yeah.
01:16:35.000 Because, like I said, I don't have a physical addiction problem to a chemical, but I've had addictions.
01:16:40.000 Like, particularly games.
01:16:42.000 I have a real problem with video games.
01:16:45.000 I get obsessed with them.
01:16:47.000 Rehab said most everyone...
01:16:49.000 Has some form of addiction within their life.
01:16:51.000 It might be to their phone.
01:16:53.000 It might be to porn.
01:16:54.000 It might be to people, like codependency.
01:16:57.000 It might be to gaming.
01:16:58.000 It might be to TV. It might be to all these things that you can basically sedate.
01:17:02.000 How can you sedate and numb out?
01:17:04.000 How can you break free?
01:17:06.000 How can you have this release?
01:17:09.000 And sometimes people can't get it under control.
01:17:13.000 Food?
01:17:13.000 I mean, I have a friend that has a food addiction.
01:17:17.000 Just one?
01:17:19.000 Probably a lot, but one that talks about it openly.
01:17:22.000 Not the anorexic and bulimic type, but the one that says that food addiction is one of the hardest things because you have to eat.
01:17:30.000 You have to eat.
01:17:31.000 And so like me, I don't have to drink.
01:17:33.000 I don't have to use, but you do have to eat.
01:17:36.000 And so that's one of the hardest addictions that's out there is whenever you actually do have a food addiction.
01:17:40.000 Sure.
01:17:40.000 Yeah, people are overweight.
01:17:41.000 It's actually a chemical.
01:17:42.000 It's a giant problem.
01:17:43.000 Right.
01:17:43.000 It's so difficult to train your body to somehow or another avoid the temptation to overeat.
01:17:50.000 Yeah.
01:17:51.000 And not just that, but you have to kind of under-eat because you want to lose weight.
01:17:54.000 Right.
01:17:55.000 So you have to put your body into a deficit, and so you have to be uncomfortable all the time, which is something that most people try to avoid.
01:18:01.000 Yeah.
01:18:02.000 I would say this.
01:18:03.000 So when I was in Sedona, I had one of the most powerful moments of my life because this was 10 years of not having a vision.
01:18:12.000 And I find myself on doing this breath work.
01:18:16.000 And I'm breathing with these coaches that are doing like a yoga style breathing.
01:18:21.000 Like a holotropic breath work?
01:18:23.000 What kind of breath work?
01:18:24.000 They have music going and you have, some people had an eye mask on and you're just breathing as deep as you can and then out as far as you can.
01:18:33.000 In as far as you can and out as far as you can.
01:18:35.000 And then they would coach you in different ways.
01:18:37.000 They had people that were walking around doing different things.
01:18:40.000 You can get high as fuck like that.
01:18:42.000 Oh man, dude.
01:18:43.000 So I don't know if I had a DMT experience, but this was sober just through breath.
01:18:49.000 All of a sudden, Aubrey had gotten down and he had known my story, him and Vailana, his wife.
01:18:54.000 And I'd shared with him how scary it was that I attempted suicide through addiction and that I can't go back to it again.
01:19:01.000 I just can't.
01:19:02.000 I won't.
01:19:03.000 And I really need freedom from it.
01:19:07.000 And so I was there and Aubrey got down and I had my mask on and he puts his hand on my heart.
01:19:14.000 He's got his hand down.
01:19:15.000 He's on his knees.
01:19:15.000 He just said, you know, what is this?
01:19:18.000 He just kind of we're in meditative stuff.
01:19:20.000 We have like this priming thing that we've been doing.
01:19:23.000 And he said, what is this armor over your heart?
01:19:26.000 Why have you not allowed yourself to be fully seen?
01:19:28.000 Would you let that armor fall in your mind's eye?
01:19:32.000 And would you just be you, be real, be open, be honest?
01:19:38.000 And so I just started thinking about that as hard.
01:19:42.000 Is that what you feel?
01:19:42.000 Do you feel like you have like armor over you?
01:19:44.000 You don't let yourself be seen?
01:19:46.000 Is that what you feel?
01:19:48.000 Are these your words or your thoughts?
01:19:50.000 They were Aubrey's and then I think there was part of it.
01:19:53.000 Why didn't you have those about you?
01:19:55.000 I think that, well, I think like right now, you know, with you and knowing that this is such a big platform and me sharing my weakest moments, you know, that's me trying to let that armor fall and be fully seen and not hide it,
01:20:12.000 be transparent with it.
01:20:16.000 And I think for me, I'm allowing myself to be seen more and more.
01:20:21.000 And I don't think I was ever hiding stuff.
01:20:23.000 Fight for the Forgotten has never once been an act for me.
01:20:26.000 It's been something I fully believed in.
01:20:28.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
01:20:30.000 If someone said to me about you, not even just Fight for the Forgotten, if someone said to me about you, does he hide who he is?
01:20:39.000 It's one of the most transparent people ever.
01:20:41.000 You wear your heart on your sleeve.
01:20:43.000 Like, I don't understand that at all.
01:20:44.000 I think you do have scars from your childhood that I'm trying to figure.
01:20:51.000 Like, I was bullied when I was a kid, but not like that much.
01:20:53.000 Like, yours sound, that one moment at that party sounds like that cut deep.
01:20:58.000 Yeah.
01:20:58.000 I ran away from that party.
01:21:00.000 My mom found me literally at Dairy Queen after it closed down.
01:21:04.000 And I was literally, I'd thrown everything off, took all the cardboard stuff and threw it in the dumpster.
01:21:08.000 And now I have the duct tape like residue on my shirt, on my jeans.
01:21:13.000 And I literally sat there, held my knees and cried until Dairy Queen closed.
01:21:18.000 How old were you?
01:21:19.000 Thirteen.
01:21:20.000 God damn, people can be mean.
01:21:22.000 Kids can be so fucking mean.
01:21:24.000 Because they know they can.
01:21:27.000 It's weird.
01:21:28.000 It's almost like some kids can't help themselves.
01:21:32.000 They know they can get a reaction out of someone if they're just mean.
01:21:35.000 And they do it almost like to see...
01:21:38.000 It's interesting when I watch little kids be mean to each other, and you see them in the playgrounds when your kids are playing.
01:21:46.000 It's almost like they're testing out how to behave.
01:21:49.000 They're testing out reactions they can get.
01:21:52.000 And they're also testing out groupthink, where they can get each other to be mean to a kid.
01:21:59.000 It's like...
01:22:00.000 That sort of gang mentality, mob mentality is very strange because you see it in kids.
01:22:07.000 It's a natural thing, a horrible but natural thing.
01:22:13.000 Well, one of the kids I'm really stoked about, I think I might have shared with you where Raiden was being bullied.
01:22:19.000 This was last night.
01:22:20.000 Yeah, well, I remember you took this on.
01:22:22.000 Yeah, well, last night he had his first night of jiu-jitsu ever.
01:22:25.000 I saw it on your Instagram page.
01:22:26.000 Oh, awesome.
01:22:27.000 Well, people don't know who this kid is.
01:22:28.000 There was a video online of a bunch of kids bullying him and hitting him and videotaping it and laughing at it.
01:22:34.000 It's horrible.
01:22:35.000 And he's obviously challenged.
01:22:37.000 There's some issues.
01:22:38.000 He was born with autism and deaf in his right ear.
01:22:40.000 And so he was given a concussion.
01:22:43.000 Either at the urinal where the kids jumped him and then filmed it or at the bus stop the very next day.
01:22:49.000 Actually, it might be reversed where he was at the bus stop and it happened off school grounds so the school wasn't able to look into it as much as they could or should.
01:22:57.000 And then the next day was at the urinal, and since it was circulating from inside the school, they were able to help.
01:23:03.000 Those kids that did it to them, man, watching that, it's so horrific.
01:23:07.000 Hitting them in the back of the head, kicking them in the stomach.
01:23:10.000 But it's like, how are kids so mean?
01:23:13.000 That's the thing.
01:23:14.000 It's like, what causes kids to be able to do that?
01:23:18.000 How come none of those kids...
01:23:21.000 Jump in and go, hey, what the fuck are you doing?
01:23:23.000 What is it about bullying and kids?
01:23:27.000 Because it's a weird instinct that some have.
01:23:30.000 And when they get together with one target like Raiden, it's horrible.
01:23:35.000 It's horrible to watch.
01:23:36.000 It makes you lose faith in humans.
01:23:38.000 It's like, what is it about humans that makes that even an option?
01:23:43.000 I think...
01:23:45.000 Hurt people hurt people.
01:23:48.000 And when you've been hurt at home, when you've been hurt at school, and whenever someone else will laugh or joke, or when people don't do anything, you can feel powerful or you can feel strong.
01:24:02.000 Whenever people sit by as an innocent bystander.
01:24:06.000 Wrongfully thinking they're an innocent bystander when actually they're a silent supporter.
01:24:09.000 A lot of times, you know, if you see it or hear it, kids just don't know that it's now they're presented with a choice.
01:24:14.000 Am I going to do something or do nothing?
01:24:16.000 And kids don't know that nine times out of ten almost, it's like 87% of the time a kid stands up and says one thing such as like, hey, that's not kind.
01:24:24.000 It actually stops it.
01:24:26.000 Someone will stop whenever they're confronted, whenever it's addressed, whether it's reported or even more so than the authorities that are in place, which kids should go tell teachers and faculty and stuff like that, but they have more power than they know.
01:24:42.000 They can stop it.
01:24:44.000 And so it was cool.
01:24:46.000 Like when I was doing that breath work though, I was praying and this brought me so much peace because it was something that I actually needed for me.
01:24:52.000 I think I used that vision to then just give me a mission to like love people in such a deep and meaningful way for myself.
01:25:00.000 But I don't think I ever allowed myself to love myself.
01:25:04.000 Because I don't know that I... I knew it logically, but I didn't let it actually sink in, that you have to love yourself before you love others, truly and sustainably, right?
01:25:15.000 How could you not love you?
01:25:17.000 You're such a nice guy.
01:25:19.000 Thanks.
01:25:19.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:25:21.000 I mean, I know what I'm saying is not...
01:25:24.000 What I'm saying is...
01:25:26.000 I know what I'm saying sounds ridiculous, but I don't...
01:25:32.000 I don't get how after all the amazing things you've done it hasn't changed your opinion of yourself That was cut into you by some 13 year old kids Yeah, well, I really feel like I have a lot of freedom from that now But then I didn't it was I'll tell you this vision was what I think needed to happen I'm breathing.
01:25:55.000 Aubrey says that and I just visualize in my head like a human heart and the arm are falling off and hitting the dirt.
01:26:02.000 I don't know why, but that's what I did in that moment.
01:26:04.000 We start breathing and about 30 minutes goes by probably.
01:26:09.000 And all of a sudden, I'm doing the most meditation I've ever done in my life, the most intense breathing I've ever done in my life.
01:26:17.000 And all of a sudden, I start seeing in my mind, like, almost as visual as that time I saw myself in the forest.
01:26:25.000 And I start seeing these storm clouds forming and it's over the ocean.
01:26:29.000 It's this deep, dark ocean.
01:26:32.000 And I see inside of it, it's almost like perfect storm kind of weather.
01:26:37.000 But the waters were actually kind of smooth.
01:26:41.000 It was just really dark.
01:26:42.000 And then also I see this darkened human heart, like an atomical heart, like sitting in the water.
01:26:49.000 And I see it starting to sink.
01:26:51.000 And then kind of the visions underneath the water, it's starting to sink and it's headed down towards the bottom of the ocean floor.
01:26:58.000 And as that is getting deeper...
01:27:02.000 I feel like my chest actually kind of like a little bit of compression.
01:27:06.000 I don't know why, but it felt like almost like whenever you're diving underwater.
01:27:09.000 But anyways, it's going deeper, darker.
01:27:11.000 And I just have this knowing that like that was me on April 4th and 5th.
01:27:16.000 Like my heart was going down.
01:27:18.000 It was dark and dangerous, diseased.
01:27:20.000 It was like it was desperate.
01:27:22.000 It was drowning.
01:27:23.000 It was dying.
01:27:26.000 And someone walked by and my head was kind of in the sun a little bit.
01:27:31.000 And they sprinkle this water on me.
01:27:33.000 They kind of spritz this water on me.
01:27:34.000 And right when that happened, right before the heart hit the bottom of the ocean floor, all of a sudden I see at the top of the water this...
01:27:42.000 And it's this golden swirl of this water that swims down and it's almost like it's on a mission.
01:27:48.000 It's trying to get to my heart and it was right before it hit the ocean floor.
01:27:52.000 This golden gorgeous like water swirled around my heart and started resurfacing it.
01:27:59.000 I knew that was my heart and it takes it back up.
01:28:01.000 So you're saying you see a vision.
01:28:04.000 Are you seeing this?
01:28:05.000 I'm seeing it with my eyes closed.
01:28:06.000 Are you seeing this like you're on drugs?
01:28:08.000 Are you seeing this like it's a psychedelic trip?
01:28:11.000 Are you seeing this like you're just imagining it?
01:28:14.000 It's different than a psychedelic trip because I have no other sensation.
01:28:17.000 There's just a movie in my mind.
01:28:20.000 It's just like the visualization drills, but it was unprompted.
01:28:23.000 It wasn't like I'm trying to see an ocean.
01:28:25.000 It's not like I'm trying to see a heart.
01:28:27.000 So this symbolized in your mind what you needed to do.
01:28:31.000 You needed to figure out how to get yourself healthy and to get your heart healthy and to change your perceptions and the way you're behaving in life.
01:28:40.000 Yeah.
01:28:42.000 It comes up to the top of the ocean and it's this golden, gorgeous water that's swirling around it.
01:28:49.000 All of a sudden it turns into like this flame and it's like a fire around this human heart.
01:28:53.000 And then all of a sudden it turns into this like white orb.
01:28:56.000 And then all of a sudden it turns into this golden, molten, kind of like jeweler's gold.
01:29:01.000 And it turns into this golden heart.
01:29:04.000 And when that happened, I don't know why, but I put my arms up, and I put my arms up, and one of the facilitators are helping people breathe and stretch and different things like that.
01:29:12.000 They grab my wrist, and they pull my wrist above my head.
01:29:15.000 And I'm on my back, right?
01:29:18.000 I know it sounds nuts, but I feel like they put a medicine ball in my hand, but there wasn't.
01:29:26.000 It felt like they put something there.
01:29:27.000 There was actual weight there.
01:29:29.000 And then I bring it back above my head and I'm seeing this golden heart and I feel like there's something inside of my hands, like this energy inside of it.
01:29:39.000 I don't know why, but it was heavy and it was there.
01:29:41.000 And then someone else comes by and they grab my hands and they put my hands over my hands and they sink it right down onto my chest.
01:29:48.000 And whenever they did that, I don't know how to explain it except for it felt like there was this golden honey that was like sinking down into my own heart or into my own chest and my own soul.
01:29:58.000 And it was just like love.
01:30:01.000 And I know it sounds cliche or goofy, but like loves the answer.
01:30:05.000 Like, I can't just love everyone else.
01:30:06.000 I have to love myself too.
01:30:07.000 And like, this is a season of healing through self love, through self love and meditation, taking time for myself and silence.
01:30:14.000 Um, and taking, I think, I think the word healing for me is like helping being open, To others helping me heal, taking time for myself to heal, and then helping others heal.
01:30:29.000 Whether it's Raiden, mentoring him, loving on him, other people, the pygmies.
01:30:34.000 As I heal myself, I can help others heal.
01:30:37.000 And just hurt people hurt people.
01:30:39.000 I guess healed people heal people.
01:30:41.000 And you can actually, you know, you have to heal yourself, but you can also help others heal at the same time.
01:30:47.000 And as you watch them heal, that helps you heal.
01:30:49.000 And so that's been the journey that I've been on, and that's what I've been grateful for with.
01:30:53.000 The Fit for Service tribe.
01:30:55.000 They're all people that are using their business as platforms to help people make the world better.
01:31:00.000 But they want to make their own life better.
01:31:01.000 And as they make their own life better, they can help other people make their lives better.
01:31:05.000 Are you continuing to do this kind of breathwork?
01:31:07.000 Do you do it all the time?
01:31:08.000 I've been doing a lot of breathwork.
01:31:09.000 I've been going to here in Austin.
01:31:11.000 There's Black Swan Yoga.
01:31:12.000 I've been going there.
01:31:13.000 I've been having Amy that you met at the after party of Dave Chappelle and you.
01:31:18.000 She helps me.
01:31:19.000 She does a lot of meditations and she'll do guided meditations for me.
01:31:22.000 She records them, does them herself, and then I do them.
01:31:24.000 And that's really been helping a lot because I've been trying to do that every day.
01:31:28.000 I go out in nature at Cummins Ford Ranch Park that's out there and there's like these three hidden waterfalls.
01:31:33.000 I've been loving Austin.
01:31:35.000 It's the most amazing city.
01:31:36.000 And then it's got nature all through it.
01:31:38.000 We're telling too many people.
01:31:39.000 People are yelling at me now.
01:31:41.000 Yeah, well, it's been dope for me because there's the Colorado River, Lake Austin, and then going there and just hiking on 250 acres or the Greenbelt or all these other parks, Zilker Park, and going out there with people that are stretching, doing yoga, that are just kind of like really open-minded,
01:31:58.000 accepting, loving, supportive.
01:32:01.000 It's been wild, man.
01:32:02.000 I've been at Brigham's guest house.
01:32:05.000 I've been staying there a lot, and there's been people that have literally walked into our yard saying, I heard you moved to town.
01:32:11.000 I want to donate.
01:32:12.000 I'm like, what?
01:32:13.000 This is wild.
01:32:14.000 And for me, part of the healing in my journey is that I felt like if I let anyone know, if I really let anyone know, like this dark side or this addiction that I fell back to or this relapse that I had and how dark of a spot I got,
01:32:31.000 if they knew, like no one would want to support me, no one would want to support the organization, right?
01:32:38.000 And then when I went to rehab and I went to sober living and the board really helped me, the board said, Justin, we've been standing behind you for 10 years now, close to 10 years.
01:32:46.000 Now it's time for us to stand beside you and out in front of you with a shield and protect you.
01:32:50.000 Allow yourself to heal.
01:32:52.000 Allow yourself to do self-development work and get therapy and things like that.
01:32:56.000 A season, a break, a sabbatical for you.
01:32:59.000 Like take the season to really look inward.
01:33:01.000 And what do you really want to do?
01:33:03.000 I've had this revamping inside of me that's like, no, this is my purpose.
01:33:10.000 Even our last board meeting was the best board meeting we've ever had, and it was here in Austin.
01:33:16.000 So you get through the first six months.
01:33:19.000 Sorry to interrupt you, but I want to just clarify.
01:33:21.000 So you have this horrible time, and this is what starts off the good time?
01:33:27.000 The Sedona vision, after getting out of...
01:33:31.000 Rehab wasn't all bad.
01:33:32.000 I mean, they rode me real hard.
01:33:34.000 They were having me wake up.
01:33:37.000 There was different rotations, but they really liked me having to get up before everybody else.
01:33:41.000 And that's at 5 a.m.
01:33:42.000 And then you're cooking breakfast for 32 other guys.
01:33:45.000 You're cooking 60 eggs, 100-something pieces of bacon, toast, and putting out everything for them.
01:33:52.000 And then you're cleaning all their dishes.
01:33:55.000 And that was hard.
01:33:57.000 Sober living was really hard.
01:33:59.000 And then whenever I found the tribe with Fit for Service, like that was just, they spoke my language.
01:34:06.000 They're my kind of people.
01:34:08.000 They're people I can really look up to, that I can trust.
01:34:13.000 And I I think upgrading, not that I didn't have good friends, but I think upgrading a friend group in a way of like, these people are hungry.
01:34:22.000 They're hungry to live an incredible life for themselves, but they're also wanting to better other people's lives.
01:34:28.000 Like, these are my people.
01:34:29.000 And so being with them has really helped a lot.
01:34:32.000 Moving to Austin, there's been so many cool people here.
01:34:35.000 I shouldn't say that too loud, but yeah.
01:34:38.000 And it's really helped a lot to where, even at the last board meeting, The chairman on my board moved here.
01:34:44.000 There's so many like synchronicities that happened, serendipitous moments that I can't deny that like I'm supposed to be here.
01:34:50.000 And like, this is a good move for me.
01:34:53.000 And, you know, I just had to thank them because, you know, they told me how proud they were of me going through the work, doing the work, the hard stuff.
01:35:01.000 And I just had to look back at everyone and say, like, y'all don't understand.
01:35:06.000 Like, I thought I was going to lose everything.
01:35:08.000 I thought I was gonna lose every one do you think that you this this draw I keep trying to figure out what led you down this dark path other than obviously the divorce but you the the things that you've done you've been so praised for you've gotten so much love you've been so powerful as a fighter and you this weird combination of someone who's incredibly strong but also vulnerable it's a very It's
01:35:39.000 a very unusual combination like who you are like incredibly kind and giving but also like very competitive like as a fighter you know yeah you I would most people when they do something that like they've gotten over the bullying through accomplishing things and through redefining who they are as a person but for you it doesn't seem like that did enough Even with all the charitable work you've done,
01:36:06.000 the amazing work you've done, even all the accomplishments you've had as a fighter, you're obviously not that person.
01:36:14.000 We even talked about you having contact with some of the bullies, some of the people that you, and they were kind of blown away by who you are now.
01:36:23.000 But that didn't even redefine it for you, redefine who you are for you.
01:36:29.000 Right.
01:36:31.000 It's hard to explain, but I think...
01:36:35.000 I think for me...
01:36:37.000 You know, I... How would I say it?
01:36:44.000 I think...
01:36:47.000 Until you love, until you really actually allow yourself, not just to accept love from other people, but to allow yourself to love yourself.
01:37:02.000 Like, I mean, it would look like I ran from one thing to another to another.
01:37:06.000 I was a nobody in school.
01:37:10.000 No one liked me, sat at the lunch table.
01:37:11.000 Then all of a sudden I start wrestling.
01:37:12.000 Then I'm a state champion, an All-American.
01:37:14.000 Then I'm a national champion.
01:37:15.000 Then I'm living at the Olympic Training Center.
01:37:16.000 Then I'm fighting in the Ultimate Fighter.
01:37:19.000 And then I'd wrestled in Moscow.
01:37:20.000 I kickboxed in Amsterdam or helped Alistair Overeem train for Brock Lesnar.
01:37:24.000 I had helped Randy even, Shane Carwin, Frank Mir twice train for Brock Lesnar.
01:37:29.000 Someone was fighting Brock.
01:37:31.000 They were normally calling me.
01:37:32.000 To come help him train.
01:37:34.000 And then I get out of that.
01:37:35.000 I go live in Congo.
01:37:36.000 Then I come back.
01:37:37.000 I do an interview with Sports Illustrated.
01:37:38.000 All of a sudden, it's a book deal.
01:37:39.000 And it goes from a book deal to then all of a sudden, it's a TED Talk.
01:37:42.000 And at the time, like, it was some reason, it was almost like whenever in fighting, I would get my hand raised.
01:37:49.000 And I would think, is this it?
01:37:51.000 Is this all?
01:37:52.000 I think Dustin has done something incredible.
01:37:55.000 Dustin Poirier.
01:37:56.000 I got to be with his family for that fight.
01:37:58.000 His brother Jimmy, his nieces and nephews, he's attaching that fight for a purpose bigger than himself.
01:38:06.000 And so I was doing that for a long time, but whenever the addiction would rise back up, it was like none of that other stuff mattered.
01:38:14.000 I'm just the depressed drunk drunk addict.
01:38:17.000 Yeah, but the addiction would rise back up because of a bad feeling you have for yourself.
01:38:22.000 Right.
01:38:22.000 So what caused the bad feeling when all those positive things were happening?
01:38:27.000 Do you allow it into your mind?
01:38:29.000 Do you think that you could have stopped that if you were meditating back then?
01:38:33.000 Do you think you could have stopped that if you knew that if you didn't stop that you could become vulnerable and start using again?
01:38:39.000 What is it that sets it off?
01:38:42.000 Did you ever think about it like that?
01:38:44.000 Yeah.
01:38:47.000 Because they say with an addict, you can't stop it the moment it's in front of you.
01:38:52.000 You've got to cut it off way before.
01:38:54.000 Days before, weeks before, months before.
01:38:57.000 Instead of this restless, irritable, discontented feeling inside of you and being vulnerable.
01:39:06.000 So, I mean, a lot of times I would relapse.
01:39:09.000 I haven't relapsed a lot, but the times that I would relapse, it would be like I stopped daily disciplines.
01:39:16.000 I stopped doing my five-minute journal in the morning where I have three things I'm grateful for and write down an affirmation.
01:39:22.000 Why'd you stop?
01:39:24.000 I don't know.
01:39:25.000 I'm a disciplined guy.
01:39:27.000 But when you stop, that's when you relapsed.
01:39:30.000 Yeah, and honestly, the real self-loathing or self-hatred or feeling of not good enough, being worthless, that would always come after the first use.
01:39:43.000 Because my first time to use, to drink, it was after I won my first national championship in wrestling.
01:39:52.000 Well, when I won the high school national championship.
01:39:54.000 Yeah.
01:39:54.000 And, um, I never allow myself to drink, but that night I thought I took 30 shots of vodka.
01:40:00.000 Um, I really only took 15 and it was out of my national championship cup, which was a national championship trophy.
01:40:06.000 Right.
01:40:06.000 And we're all drinking from it, passing it around.
01:40:09.000 And then after 15 shots of vodka, it was, it was all water shots after that.
01:40:14.000 And they thought it was funny.
01:40:15.000 And I thought it was hilarious the day after, but I see that from the moment I ever tried a substance, um, It was always that way.
01:40:25.000 Is that in your family?
01:40:27.000 Yeah.
01:40:27.000 There's addicts in my family for sure.
01:40:29.000 Addicts and alcoholics.
01:40:31.000 I think those are the same thing.
01:40:33.000 And it's not everyone.
01:40:34.000 And it's really hard to explain to people that don't understand it or people that don't have that inclination.
01:40:40.000 One of the things that actually got me to choose Stonegate and this rehab center Was because on it, I always thought, like, I think part of me, because I'm disciplined, because I've been a national champion of wrestling, I've fought in the UFC, all that stuff, and I've been disciplined,
01:40:56.000 I just thought that there was something weak-willed about me to use, or that I was morally corrupted, and I just didn't have...
01:41:04.000 I like, why?
01:41:05.000 It didn't make sense to me.
01:41:06.000 I know it doesn't make sense to other people.
01:41:08.000 And so whenever they said, no, this isn't a morality problem.
01:41:15.000 It isn't, you actually, addicts do after usage, after they do, and that mental obsession and everything, they lose the power of choice.
01:41:25.000 Of putting it back down.
01:41:27.000 They do until they're equipped, until they're empowered, until they're educated about what's going on when they do that and how you can trick yourself.
01:41:34.000 Well, then how come sometimes people just find rock bottom and then they just decide to stop using?
01:41:39.000 Well, that's basically what I did at 23. I hit rock bottom.
01:41:42.000 I got a voicemail from my best friend at the time and he's a great guy now and we're friends, but he said, I can't believe you missed my wedding.
01:41:49.000 I can't believe my best man didn't show up.
01:41:51.000 You know, I was eight weeks on a binge and it was basically a blur for eight weeks.
01:41:57.000 And that rock bottom moment and then going back to grudge and then being kicked off the team, like that was rock bottom, man.
01:42:03.000 And then again, rock bottom comes 10 years later.
01:42:07.000 But this is what I'm saying.
01:42:08.000 To take away all agency from a person and say you can't stop.
01:42:13.000 Something has to come along and help you stop.
01:42:16.000 Some people can stop.
01:42:18.000 So why?
01:42:19.000 And then you would say that those people...
01:42:21.000 So there's supposed to be three different types of addicts and alcoholics.
01:42:26.000 Where there's three types of users.
01:42:28.000 There's the moderate, let's just say drinker.
01:42:32.000 There's the moderate drinker who can just have it from time to time.
01:42:35.000 There's the hard drinker that drinks often.
01:42:39.000 They're a hard drinker and they drink hard.
01:42:41.000 And then there's the real deal addict and alcoholic.
01:42:43.000 I think you might be saying some people can just stop.
01:42:45.000 Well, that's normally the hard drinker because the moderate drinker can stop drinking.
01:42:50.000 Just with a good, like, with a reason.
01:42:53.000 I've got an event coming up.
01:42:55.000 Or, you know, my kid doesn't like it.
01:42:57.000 And that can make them stop.
01:42:58.000 A hard drinker, maybe what makes them stop is there's a threat of a divorce.
01:43:03.000 You're going to lose your job.
01:43:05.000 Or there's something like that.
01:43:07.000 There's a consequence attached to it.
01:43:08.000 Or there's a big enough reason for them to just put it down.
01:43:11.000 You know?
01:43:12.000 But the real deal addict and alcoholic, they're the one that actually needs help.
01:43:17.000 They're the one that actually needs a support system.
01:43:19.000 I mean, we all need support system.
01:43:21.000 We all need community.
01:43:22.000 We need tribe.
01:43:23.000 We need encouragement, empowerment.
01:43:24.000 We need to share our stories.
01:43:26.000 I understand.
01:43:26.000 But you stopped your first time.
01:43:28.000 I did stop the first time.
01:43:29.000 And maybe I was more of just a hard user then.
01:43:32.000 But then after these other times, I was the real deal.
01:43:34.000 And I can point back to that first time and say I've always been the real deal.
01:43:39.000 And maybe I just had this spiritual awakening or this sober vision that all of a sudden took me and gave me a life beyond what I could've ever done.
01:43:47.000 I'm just worried about saying that you need help.
01:43:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:43:51.000 But no one can do it on their own.
01:43:52.000 No, and people can do it on their own.
01:43:54.000 And I think I'm doing it in a way, but there are people just like me that do need that pattern interrupt, that training camp for the biggest fight of their life.
01:44:06.000 This was the, after April 5th, And I attempted suicide.
01:44:10.000 I finally realized, there's no fight in a cage that's the biggest fight I'm ever going to have.
01:44:14.000 Like, this is my biggest fight.
01:44:16.000 Because if I don't fix this...
01:44:19.000 It doesn't end well.
01:44:20.000 It doesn't end well for me.
01:44:21.000 It doesn't end well for the people I'm trying to help.
01:44:23.000 So that's why I went and actually got help was because I wanted some sort of training camp.
01:44:28.000 And I had that six months where it's like preparation to build support and help and some boundaries and things like that to where I'm able to better know myself.
01:44:40.000 And so it was an internal look.
01:44:42.000 There was an hour long every day of meditation.
01:44:45.000 And I would go to that every day at 6.30 a.m.
01:44:47.000 Right after breakfast.
01:44:48.000 And so now since then, you've been maintaining a journal.
01:44:52.000 You've been maintaining your breathing and meditation.
01:44:55.000 Yeah, and I've been reaching out to people.
01:44:56.000 I've been better with my phone.
01:44:58.000 I mean, I know you, like, we get blown up a lot, right?
01:45:01.000 And so, you a lot more than me.
01:45:04.000 But this right here, I couldn't get back to a lot of text.
01:45:07.000 I get overwhelmed.
01:45:08.000 I get overwhelmed by inbound requests.
01:45:10.000 Can you do this?
01:45:11.000 Can you do that?
01:45:11.000 Can you do this?
01:45:12.000 I've been able to handle it a whole lot better lately where...
01:45:15.000 I get back to people.
01:45:15.000 I can set firm boundaries.
01:45:17.000 Like I can't do this.
01:45:18.000 You're in contact with too many people, right?
01:45:20.000 Yeah.
01:45:20.000 Yeah.
01:45:21.000 Yeah.
01:45:21.000 And so I've, I've really started to limit that.
01:45:23.000 Yeah.
01:45:24.000 It's, it's helped me a lot to where I don't feel like I don't feel bad if someone reaches out and I don't really know them, but they expect a response.
01:45:31.000 And are you fucking around with social media at all?
01:45:33.000 Do you pay attention to that?
01:45:34.000 Uh, I mean, I, I post, but I don't, my request box and stuff, I normally never read those.
01:45:39.000 Do you read the comments?
01:45:41.000 No, that's good.
01:45:43.000 Yeah.
01:45:43.000 I read them sometimes, but I don't let that affect me.
01:45:46.000 And I've been pretty good about that in the past where I really don't care.
01:45:51.000 If they have not added value in my life and kind of earned right to speak into my life, then I don't care about a comment on social media.
01:46:01.000 Good.
01:46:02.000 Because the people that are close to me in my circle, the people that are helping me with the board of directors or this Fit for Service tribe or you, those are the people that can speak into my life and I'll take a good, hard look at it.
01:46:14.000 And what I learned that they would offend you so much purposefully at rehab that what they were trying to do is help.
01:46:20.000 They say offense or resentment is the number one offender.
01:46:24.000 And if you allow resentment to build in you or offense and be offended and things like that, a lot of times that's whenever people go back out and use.
01:46:31.000 And so for me, if it doesn't apply, let it fly.
01:46:35.000 And if you don't know me, then...
01:46:37.000 And most of the time people aren't saying real critical stuff.
01:46:42.000 And I've just been really grateful this last...
01:46:47.000 I talked with Denise a few days ago.
01:46:49.000 I did my second round at Ways 12. And this was what was really cool that she showed me because I've been telling her I've been trying to heal from the inside out.
01:46:56.000 And she goes, that's exactly what we're doing.
01:46:59.000 It's preventative, regenerative, integrative care and functional medicine, but they're able to track the My progress on...
01:47:06.000 I've gotten better insulin resistance, which the reason my insulin wasn't that great was because I had so much inflammation in my body.
01:47:14.000 And that goes back to the parasites, the bacterias, all the other stuff.
01:47:18.000 My cholesterol is high.
01:47:19.000 People don't know what we're talking about.
01:47:20.000 So let's just explain that.
01:47:21.000 You had a horrible parasite that took forever for them to figure out even what it was.
01:47:27.000 And then they think it might have actually been malaria that got into your brain as well.
01:47:32.000 Cerebral malaria.
01:47:33.000 So I did have something called schistosomiasis, which comes from a snail.
01:47:36.000 And that's from me bathing in the rivers.
01:47:39.000 So schistosomiasis.
01:47:41.000 And then I also had cerebral malaria of the brain, and they had to poison my brain to kill the parasite in my brain.
01:47:48.000 Dude.
01:47:49.000 Wait, this before or after you went on the benders?
01:47:53.000 This was kind of like one of the reasons I went back to the bender because I was feeling so defeated that I didn't have really answers.
01:47:59.000 And I was constantly sick.
01:48:01.000 And I was constantly, you know, like it was, I was on 28 pills a day for 28 days.
01:48:08.000 I was doing this parasite detox and like I was depleted.
01:48:12.000 I was feeling weakened.
01:48:13.000 I'd gotten a divorce.
01:48:14.000 It was just all this stuff dumped at once to where I was like, yeah, I can have a...
01:48:18.000 I didn't have a joint once, and then all of a sudden it just turned into way more than I ever expected.
01:48:22.000 But when you say poison your brain, so it broke down, like, your mental function.
01:48:26.000 You were telling me that...
01:48:27.000 Brain fog.
01:48:28.000 Yeah.
01:48:28.000 I didn't feel like me.
01:48:30.000 I literally didn't feel like myself.
01:48:32.000 My point is, this is what triggered the addiction episode.
01:48:36.000 Yeah.
01:48:36.000 Right?
01:48:37.000 Yeah.
01:48:37.000 Yeah.
01:48:38.000 Don't you make that correlation?
01:48:40.000 Yeah.
01:48:40.000 Yeah.
01:48:40.000 So that's what it was.
01:48:41.000 Yeah.
01:48:42.000 So that's the moment.
01:48:43.000 So I was looking for what is it that made you fall apart?
01:48:47.000 Now it makes more sense.
01:48:48.000 Yeah.
01:48:49.000 I mean, I wasn't getting answers.
01:48:51.000 Then I did get the answers.
01:48:52.000 It's like, okay, we've got to kill the parasites in your brain.
01:48:54.000 We've got to poison your brain.
01:48:56.000 We've got to do all this stuff to your gut.
01:48:58.000 We've got to build back your gut.
01:49:01.000 Basically, they said I had almost 100% bad overgrowth of bad bacteria in my gut.
01:49:06.000 And that's your second brain.
01:49:08.000 And then, like, I had to start balancing back out that bad bacteria with good bacteria because it should be a 50-50 balance or better good than bad.
01:49:17.000 But mine was, like, all bad.
01:49:18.000 So now my first brain is messed up and we've got to poison that.
01:49:23.000 And now my second brain or whatever, you know, your gut health, is destroyed.
01:49:28.000 And I'm going to have a long...
01:49:29.000 I know people that have recovered from parasitic invasions like that.
01:49:33.000 And it takes a long time.
01:49:35.000 Yeah, mine's been...
01:49:37.000 It's basically been since 2014. I've been on and off sick.
01:49:40.000 That's six years where I was just on and off.
01:49:42.000 Also fighting at the same time, which is crazy.
01:49:46.000 And then I fought, like, my second Bellator fight was, I mean, I had malaria the second time, I think, like...
01:49:55.000 Four or five months before the fight.
01:49:57.000 You need a lot more time to recover than that.
01:49:59.000 And on top of that, we were talking about the fact that you're taking these heavy-duty antibiotics, and these heavy-duty antibiotics have shown to weaken your tendons and ligaments.
01:50:08.000 And then I tear my shoulder.
01:50:09.000 Yeah.
01:50:10.000 And it was just really tough to make the comeback that I've been wanting.
01:50:16.000 And so, what's been great about...
01:50:18.000 I mean, this was just a few days ago.
01:50:19.000 I got with Denise again, who you met.
01:50:22.000 And she was able to show me on all these places I'm making progress.
01:50:26.000 And instead of doing it every three...
01:50:28.000 Um, months like they do with more of their patients or all their patients.
01:50:33.000 Um, they're going to do blood panels on me.
01:50:35.000 They're going to be watching everything that's going on in my body to show me that I'm not just, so the other day she said, Justin, my first time going through your blood laps, I wasn't going to tell you how long of a road you still have ahead.
01:50:51.000 You've made a lot of progress, but you've got a long road ahead.
01:50:55.000 And after the second time with her, she's like, Justin, look at all these improvements.
01:50:58.000 This is to make sure you're hope-filled, you know, full of hope that you are on the right track to make this comeback.
01:51:05.000 So you can attribute a lot of this to that disease.
01:51:08.000 You can attribute a lot of what went wrong in your life to these parasites and getting sick.
01:51:15.000 I think I can.
01:51:16.000 But just think about who you are and who you, you know, like a big part of you is your mind, your mental energy, your ability to function.
01:51:25.000 All that was radically diminished.
01:51:27.000 Yeah, I was having to do the hyperbaric oxygen therapy treatments.
01:51:31.000 To try to get blood flow down into a cellular level into my mitochondria to increase all the blood flow back to my brain.
01:51:38.000 Are you still planning on going back to the Congo?
01:51:41.000 When I go, and I'm going to go back to Uganda, we're actually going to go celebrate maybe with Dustin, maybe with Manny Pacquiao.
01:51:48.000 In Uganda, it's a lot safer there.
01:51:50.000 And we've found a malaria medication I can take that doesn't make me reject it.
01:51:54.000 But it's not just malaria.
01:51:55.000 This other thing that got into your...
01:51:57.000 Yeah, that was me swimming in the creeks.
01:51:59.000 And I mean, there's not a lot of places you can shower.
01:52:01.000 So I'm going to take smarter trips where I take my own shower where I will shower with filtered water or I will...
01:52:09.000 Oh, dude, you're going to smell so bad at the end of that trip.
01:52:11.000 Yeah.
01:52:11.000 Yeah.
01:52:12.000 I'll shower the filter.
01:52:13.000 I won't go get in the creeks where the snails are, where the parasites are.
01:52:16.000 Do they have enough water from their wells that they can use it to bathe with?
01:52:20.000 Yeah.
01:52:20.000 So what we're doing in Uganda, it's going to be so incredible.
01:52:24.000 Literally, they've never had a home, right?
01:52:25.000 We're building homes where they're going to have tapped water there.
01:52:28.000 They're going to have tapped water right outside their doorstep, not inside, because of the inside plumbing.
01:52:32.000 If something goes bad, we want the toilet to just walk out their front door, turn on a spigot, and they've got water for their food, for boiling, for their hands, for washing.
01:52:41.000 Isn't it crazy how we take things for granted?
01:52:43.000 Yes, it is.
01:52:44.000 That is an amazing thing for them.
01:52:46.000 Yeah.
01:52:47.000 We've dug latrines, and you should have seen the celebration they had whenever they had latrines, which are toilets for the first time, instead of just having to go behind a tree.
01:52:55.000 Or behind a hut.
01:52:56.000 They're able to actually have a latrine underneath their feet.
01:52:59.000 Greg Simmons has a very funny joke about how we take water for granted.
01:53:04.000 I can't because he still does it.
01:53:06.000 Okay, sure.
01:53:06.000 It's a great bit about shitting in water.
01:53:09.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:53:10.000 Well, that was one of the things that I felt guilty about when I came back here, which I don't anymore.
01:53:15.000 Now I'm helping better other people's lives.
01:53:17.000 But when I was taking a shit in a toilet and it's clean water and they're walking six miles to go try to find clean water...
01:53:24.000 You carry it out on their head.
01:53:26.000 Yeah, and it's 44 pounds when 20 liters is full.
01:53:29.000 We're five gallons.
01:53:30.000 And then I'm giving my dog clean water.
01:53:32.000 I know.
01:53:33.000 We're so lucky.
01:53:35.000 Yeah, man.
01:53:35.000 And they're so soft because of it.
01:53:37.000 But the beautiful thing is that you can provide this to these people and see this amazing joy that they can have.
01:53:43.000 And it'll make not just you, but people listening to us, at least for a brief moment, recognize how easy we do have and how lucky we are.
01:53:50.000 Yeah, and I hope that...
01:53:53.000 For me, I've started to find a lot more purpose in my voice.
01:53:58.000 Helping, for sure, through Fight for the Forgotten, that's so much of my purpose.
01:54:03.000 But I'm going to start a podcast this year, 2021, and I hope that it's going to help other people, whether it's having doctors and actors and entrepreneurs, whatever it is, people that have a story, a story of hope, like how they've overcome something.
01:54:21.000 What's that?
01:54:21.000 I was going to say, your body is not still fully recovered.
01:54:24.000 No.
01:54:25.000 I don't know if I'm going to fight again at the end of 2021 or the beginning of 2022, but I've been talking to Rafael Lovato Jr., and what I'm doing is just get healed.
01:54:35.000 Heal from the inside out.
01:54:36.000 That was what I was just going to say.
01:54:37.000 I know that you were thinking about doing that again.
01:54:40.000 When we were talking, when we were getting stem cell shots and talking about it, and I was like, Jesus, dude, it seems like there's always a new thing, always a new problem.
01:54:50.000 When you've got this problem solved, a new problem comes up, you've got to deal with this problem.
01:54:54.000 That's what I'm wondering.
01:54:56.000 I'm like, you've got all these problems, and they keep happening.
01:54:59.000 There's no breaks from these problems.
01:55:02.000 But then you're always creating another one.
01:55:04.000 Like, I'm ready to fight in six months.
01:55:06.000 Stop!
01:55:07.000 Stop!
01:55:08.000 That's what I wanted to tell you.
01:55:10.000 Goddamn, dude, you gotta get fully healthy and fit.
01:55:14.000 But I'm worried about you going back again and getting more of this.
01:55:18.000 You've got malaria three times.
01:55:20.000 You got this horrible parasite that they couldn't even detect for a long time.
01:55:24.000 They didn't know what it was, right?
01:55:25.000 Yeah, and then the CDC found that I had dengue fever, and then I had blackwater fever, which if you Google that, it's either one in two or one in four people die that get it.
01:55:37.000 And that's where I had, yeah, basically 65, 70. But that was an offshoot of malaria, blackwater fever.
01:55:44.000 So how do you feel right now?
01:55:46.000 I'm feeling good.
01:55:47.000 I'm literally starting to feel good again.
01:55:49.000 And that's what I love.
01:55:50.000 So when I talked to Dr. Denise, I was like, I just want to feel normal again.
01:55:53.000 She's like, why do you just want to feel normal like you did when you were 20?
01:55:56.000 Why don't you want to feel optimal, the best you've ever felt?
01:55:59.000 And I'm like, yes, that's what I want.
01:56:02.000 That's what I need.
01:56:03.000 But it's okay to want to feel normal.
01:56:05.000 Yeah, it's okay to want to feel normal.
01:56:07.000 You haven't felt normal for seven years.
01:56:07.000 Yes, absolutely.
01:56:08.000 But that was just even more mind-like.
01:56:12.000 I mean, that's even more hopeful for me is like, let's get back to normal.
01:56:16.000 That's what we're getting back to right now.
01:56:18.000 And then let's get to optimal health.
01:56:20.000 And like, let's see these metrics and measurements of like 180 or 280 blood labs where she can walk me through it every few months.
01:56:29.000 What's great is that you can actually do that and see the actual blood work.
01:56:36.000 Yeah, I'm stoked about that because...
01:56:38.000 No, it's great.
01:56:38.000 Last time I was blown away, I was like, wow, I made that much progress?
01:56:41.000 You know, my vitamins going up, my minerals going up.
01:56:43.000 I worry about you, man.
01:56:43.000 I'm pestering you about this.
01:56:45.000 I worry about you.
01:56:46.000 I know.
01:56:47.000 Because you're such a good person, and I know you want to go back there and do good again, but goddamn, dude, if you get more things happening to you, your body's been fucking poisoned for years.
01:56:57.000 Every time you go over there, you're getting poisoned.
01:57:00.000 Are you getting poisoned with malaria?
01:57:02.000 Are you getting poisoned with these parasites and fevers and all this crazy shit that keeps happening to you?
01:57:08.000 Last time I went and the last couple times I went, I didn't get malaria again.
01:57:11.000 It was like the, what was it, the third time I had it, it was where it was laying dormant.
01:57:17.000 And then my immune system got weaker because it's been weakened a lot.
01:57:22.000 I'm 33 and I've had shingles five times.
01:57:25.000 And that's like an old person's disease.
01:57:27.000 And it was because my immune system's been shot.
01:57:29.000 Young people get shingles.
01:57:30.000 Yeah, I've heard guys your age get serious.
01:57:33.000 Well, I guess it's more frequent in an older population, but it can happen.
01:57:36.000 Immune is weaker.
01:57:37.000 But it's whenever your immune system, you've been immune compromised and all that other stuff.
01:57:41.000 Yeah.
01:57:42.000 And so working on building that immune system back up to where I can get back into fighting.
01:57:47.000 Stipe's team just reached out and was asking if I could come help them train for Francis Ngannou.
01:57:53.000 I mean, I can go up there and be a training partner, but probably not in the hard sparring right now.
01:57:58.000 Maybe more in the wrestling, where that's my bread and butter.
01:58:01.000 And a good training partner.
01:58:02.000 I'm a great training partner.
01:58:03.000 So I could probably go up there and help him train.
01:58:06.000 But I'm not going to be like this.
01:58:08.000 Because we've had the amnio in our shoulders and in our knees.
01:58:12.000 You gotta let it heal up.
01:58:13.000 I gotta let that heal up before, you know, it's this new tissue.
01:58:15.000 I don't need it to get broken down and re-injured while it's building back up.
01:58:19.000 So it might be a yes if it's more easy, but it makes me a no.
01:58:22.000 It's not gonna be easy, man.
01:58:24.000 You're helping a guy train for the heavyweight title.
01:58:26.000 See what I'm saying?
01:58:26.000 Like, you're ready to create another problem in your life.
01:58:28.000 Well, I was doing pretty good until I went to train with Stipe and then I got a blown disc and now I gotta get a disectomy.
01:58:34.000 Like, stop!
01:58:35.000 So maybe I say no, this can't.
01:58:37.000 Yes, I know.
01:58:38.000 Listen, you're creating another problem.
01:58:41.000 And then four weeks, I get another round of those shots.
01:58:45.000 Listen, take time.
01:58:47.000 Take the time.
01:58:49.000 Well, that's what's good about being a heavyweight, right?
01:58:50.000 I got time.
01:58:52.000 Yes.
01:58:52.000 Because the older guys can do really, really well.
01:58:55.000 Well, you're still in your early 30s.
01:58:57.000 You have a bright future as a fighter if you choose to continue to pursue that.
01:59:03.000 But the thing that I worry about you is you've got this thing that some people do.
01:59:09.000 There's a pattern.
01:59:12.000 It's going to be hard for me to verbalize this.
01:59:16.000 But there's a pattern that some people have where they have things in their life and they really have enough on their plate.
01:59:23.000 But then they see another thing and they go, well, I'm just going to do that too.
01:59:26.000 And then they fuck themselves up.
01:59:29.000 And then there's another thing that comes on when they're in the middle of that.
01:59:33.000 I'm going to do this.
01:59:33.000 You're distracting yourself with this constant state.
01:59:37.000 And I recognize it partially because I've done it.
01:59:40.000 I've been that guy.
01:59:42.000 I've been that guy where I'm doing too many different things and I start fucking my life up.
01:59:46.000 And then I recognize I'm fucking my life up and it's like I can't stop.
01:59:50.000 I'm just doing too many things.
01:59:51.000 And then the things that I'm doing, because I'm doing too many things, I'm not doing them well.
01:59:56.000 I'm not doing any of the things to their optimal ability.
01:59:59.000 Now I protect my time.
02:00:02.000 My time is very precious to me.
02:00:04.000 And I protect it.
02:00:05.000 And so when I look at a new thing, I'm like, I don't have time for that.
02:00:08.000 And I've said no to cool shit because of that, like movie roles and things that would be interesting and projects that would probably be fun.
02:00:17.000 I'm like, I can't.
02:00:18.000 I don't have any time.
02:00:19.000 And they're like, this is a great opportunity.
02:00:21.000 I'm sure it is.
02:00:22.000 I'm great with what I'm doing.
02:00:24.000 I don't have any time.
02:00:25.000 And I don't want to burden myself with too much shit.
02:00:29.000 You look at things like, then I'm going to do this, and I'm going to be, like we were talking about the podcast, I'm going to be on the board, and I'm on a piece of that.
02:00:35.000 I'm like, stop!
02:00:36.000 You can't!
02:00:37.000 You don't have time for this!
02:00:38.000 I'm going to help produce other ones.
02:00:39.000 No, you're not going to do that!
02:00:41.000 You don't have time to produce other people's shit.
02:00:43.000 Stop!
02:00:44.000 Because there's a thing that people do.
02:00:46.000 You just get these possibilities thrown at you.
02:00:50.000 And then also, you're kind of distracting yourself with activity.
02:00:54.000 Where you're always having new challenges and new problems.
02:00:56.000 But you're in the middle of other challenges and problems that aren't sorted out yet.
02:00:59.000 But you keep throwing them in there.
02:01:01.000 And more iron's in the fire.
02:01:02.000 And the next thing you know, you're in a place where you're falling apart again.
02:01:07.000 Or your life's falling apart.
02:01:09.000 Or Something gets redlined to the point where it starts breaking whether it's your physical body or it's your your immune system your health or whatever the fuck it is or it's your Emotional state or your relationships something always suffers and it comes back to in a lot of times people are afraid of stillness They're afraid of peace.
02:01:29.000 They're afraid of quiet.
02:01:31.000 They're afraid of being alone in their thoughts It's one of the reasons why I like the isolation tank so much you have to be alone with your thoughts and Yeah.
02:01:38.000 You're stuck.
02:01:39.000 I feel the same way about the sauna.
02:01:40.000 Like getting in the sauna and doing deep breathing exercises.
02:01:43.000 I fucking do it every day.
02:01:44.000 I hate it every day.
02:01:45.000 Yeah.
02:01:45.000 Every day.
02:01:46.000 I get 15 minutes in and I look at my watch and I'm like, fuck.
02:01:49.000 So much time left.
02:01:51.000 Like I just concentrate on the breathing.
02:01:53.000 But...
02:01:54.000 That piece of that time where you're forced to think is so fucking important.
02:02:01.000 If you don't have that time and you just keep doing things, you're just stuck with momentum, the momentum of all these things, and then who you are, you kind of...
02:02:12.000 You never really fully address who you are.
02:02:16.000 You don't come to grips with who you are.
02:02:20.000 You don't accept who you are.
02:02:22.000 You don't take an honest inventory of who you are and whether or not you're happy with things, whether or not you've improved things.
02:02:30.000 Whether or not there's still things you need to work on.
02:02:32.000 You don't have time for that.
02:02:34.000 You're in the middle of all these distractions that you built up for yourself.
02:02:37.000 And you keep throwing new ones out there.
02:02:38.000 Now I'm going to start to play polo.
02:02:40.000 Oh, I'm taking up chess.
02:02:41.000 I'm going to fucking play darts.
02:02:43.000 You know, I'm going to learn how to code.
02:02:45.000 People just do stuff like that.
02:02:47.000 They start tacking things onto their life.
02:02:50.000 And oftentimes they don't even realize when they're doing it that they're just distracting themselves from themselves.
02:02:56.000 Hmm.
02:02:57.000 I think that that, honestly, one of the most powerful moments for me at rehab was whenever it said you have to take an honest, personal, a rigorous, honest, personal inventory of yourself.
02:03:09.000 That's a good way to describe it.
02:03:11.000 Yeah, and I did that there, and I've been continuing to do that.
02:03:15.000 And one of the things that's been great that I've taken on as I've got to do this for me, but also I have support now with the people around me, is that I have to be able to say no 10 times to get one yes.
02:03:27.000 You know, defend every yes with 10 no's.
02:03:30.000 And try to cut the things out that I really am not doing.
02:03:34.000 So most of my mornings now, like until 9 or 10 o'clock, like I wake up 6.30, 7. Until 9 or 10 o'clock, I'm really not on my phone.
02:03:43.000 And I'm literally trying to either journal or read or meditate.
02:03:47.000 And then I try to set up my day, my schedule before I get on my phone and being reactive.
02:03:53.000 I'm really trying to take that time to do that.
02:04:10.000 And this one wasn't as important.
02:04:12.000 I was like, what's more important right now?
02:04:13.000 Is it me going out to this park and me sitting down and reading and meditating?
02:04:20.000 Because that's what I felt like I needed?
02:04:22.000 Or is it being at this meeting?
02:04:24.000 I was like, hey guys.
02:04:24.000 So I texted him.
02:04:26.000 I'm like, because I normally would say I'm indebted to these people.
02:04:29.000 And if I told them I'm going to be there, I have to be there.
02:04:31.000 And I'm normally that guy, but since I'd already been with them a lot and they didn't necessarily need me there, they just wanted me there, I texted and said, hey, I can be there late, we can go to lunch, we can do something like that, but right now I've got something I've got to do.
02:04:44.000 And really that was me almost standing up for myself, saying like, I need some more time today to work on myself.
02:04:52.000 And so I went out and I sat down.
02:04:53.000 Yeah.
02:05:08.000 You know, help myself before I help others.
02:05:12.000 Yeah, I think you need to...
02:05:14.000 Because I've denied myself that.
02:05:15.000 Write that into your schedule.
02:05:16.000 Yeah.
02:05:16.000 Like, you really do.
02:05:17.000 You need to write that into your schedule.
02:05:19.000 It's like you're almost so nice of a guy that you don't think about yourself enough.
02:05:24.000 You know, I mean, that's...
02:05:25.000 I'd absolutely agree with that.
02:05:26.000 It's part of what's...
02:05:27.000 Your problem is you're too nice.
02:05:30.000 I can definitely be that.
02:05:31.000 I mean, it's just, it's not a problem.
02:05:33.000 It's just, but it's a thing that you have to kind of guard.
02:05:36.000 You know, that you will try to help as many people as possible.
02:05:40.000 And when you get requests, you will try to help those people.
02:05:43.000 And you will try to honor these requests.
02:05:45.000 And you will try to, and then the fucking pile just adds up.
02:05:50.000 And then it's overwhelming.
02:05:51.000 And you tack that on top of this severely diminished health that you experienced through the parasites.
02:05:59.000 I mean, you've gone through the ringer, man.
02:06:02.000 You know?
02:06:03.000 Well, yeah, that's what, in that reading of all my blood work, I love how they're doing it.
02:06:11.000 But just seeing the improvement in my actual minerals in my body, the vitamins that I have available, what I'm able to use, my insulin getting better, cholesterol getting better, which is showing that, like, she was saying it's not insulin from Like,
02:06:28.000 you're a bad diet.
02:06:29.000 And from eating too much sugar and this stuff, it's from this inflammation that you have in your body.
02:06:34.000 And so now that inflammation's going down and you're getting healthier.
02:06:38.000 I'm just like, yes!
02:06:39.000 So I'm focusing on that now.
02:06:40.000 Are you taking CBD as well?
02:06:42.000 I am taking some CBD tinctures.
02:06:45.000 It's a company here called Reset or something in Austin.
02:06:48.000 And they're supposed to be the only FDA approved or something like that.
02:06:51.000 Here?
02:06:52.000 Yeah, it's out of Austin and they got a The only FDA approved...
02:06:55.000 Or they've been working with the FDA to get it approved and they've invested millions of dollars in it.
02:07:00.000 And it seems like it's really good stuff.
02:07:02.000 It's one of the only ones I actually notice when I take, if that makes sense.
02:07:06.000 Some of that stuff can be garbage depending on the source, right?
02:07:09.000 Right.
02:07:09.000 This stuff seems like it's really good.
02:07:10.000 Yeah.
02:07:12.000 And so I'm taking CBD to help the inflammation.
02:07:16.000 And I'm on a bunch of different vitamins.
02:07:18.000 And so I'm really...
02:07:20.000 I'm really excited to see what this amnio and Corian based stem cell type stuff is going to do in my joints, my knees, my shoulders.
02:07:30.000 Have you noticed anything?
02:07:31.000 No, it's too quick.
02:07:33.000 We've got to do the four rounds.
02:07:35.000 Yeah, but I think it's going to help you tremendously.
02:07:38.000 Obviously, I told you I've taken stem cells in the past, and it really did heal injuries, particularly to my shoulder.
02:07:45.000 You get banged up.
02:07:48.000 If you're doing combat sports, there's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
02:07:51.000 Everyone that I know, you've got some kind of thing going on, always.
02:07:57.000 It's a neck thing, or a knee thing, or a shoulder, or an elbow.
02:08:01.000 Right.
02:08:02.000 I think?
02:08:22.000 So we were raising a bunch of money for Waterboys and also Fight for the Forgotten.
02:08:27.000 And we were doing it through this climb of Kilimanjaro, which is 19,341 feet tall.
02:08:33.000 And so my personal goal was to raise like $2 per every foot of elevation.
02:08:39.000 And we like busted through that.
02:08:41.000 We raised like $185,000.
02:08:42.000 Then I break my knee six weeks before we're supposed to do it.
02:08:45.000 And I'm like, damn, I'm not going to be able to go.
02:08:48.000 They told me it'd be non-weight-bearing for six full weeks.
02:08:51.000 So the NFL Network made a documentary.
02:08:53.000 It's called All the Way Up.
02:08:55.000 And they followed me.
02:08:55.000 I was non-weight-bearing for two full weeks.
02:08:58.000 Then I had the amnio that we got the other day.
02:09:02.000 And then at four weeks, I was snowshoeing up Mount Elbert to climb, to just train for Kilimanjaro.
02:09:12.000 So anyways, the NFL Network followed me to do that.
02:09:14.000 You were okay to do that, even though you were supposed to be six?
02:09:16.000 At four weeks, because my healing, they were watching my healing on x-rays.
02:09:20.000 Okay.
02:09:20.000 So I was doing it in Dallas.
02:09:21.000 So they said it was sufficient.
02:09:23.000 They said it was sufficient to go test it out and see.
02:09:25.000 So I put in a brace and then I actually climbed it in the documentary cameras like they show me like just snow falling on me and like the wind almost blowing me over and they had to turn back and go go back.
02:09:36.000 But anyways at six weeks, six weeks I was supposed to be non-weight bearing at six weeks I was at the top of Kilimanjaro with Chris Long and Steven Jackson from the NFL and like some of our military veterans.
02:09:48.000 And that to me was like, wow, regenerative medicine is real.
02:09:52.000 Oh, it's real.
02:09:53.000 It's legit.
02:09:54.000 Yeah, it's real as fuck.
02:09:56.000 I could see it on the x-rays.
02:09:57.000 It's a real bummer that it's not approved.
02:10:00.000 And a lot of people, to get the more potent versions of it, have to go to Panama and Colombia.
02:10:06.000 And a lot of athletes are going down there to do stuff that really they should be able to do right here.
02:10:11.000 Yeah.
02:10:11.000 And are you saying it's not approved a lot of times because insurance won't approve it too?
02:10:15.000 No.
02:10:15.000 No.
02:10:16.000 No, it's the FDA. They're trying to stop peptides, which are also incredibly beneficial to people.
02:10:23.000 There's a lot of weirdness going on with those things, man.
02:10:26.000 With those regulations, people are like, well, they're not regulated well.
02:10:30.000 Listen, They're fucking hugely beneficial.
02:10:34.000 The amount of time and money that it takes to regulate some of these things.
02:10:38.000 And I can understand if there's no science behind it, if you don't really exactly know what's causing what and why it's healing.
02:10:44.000 No, that's not the case.
02:10:45.000 There's plenty of peer-reviewed studies on the benefits of stem cells.
02:10:49.000 They do know that these are incredibly beneficial to people.
02:10:52.000 There's a lot of resistance to these things being legalized.
02:10:56.000 I think that's why Jason with MedCorp Biologics, who is helping us, he really wants to be a front-runner.
02:11:01.000 With it, and he is in Texas, but most of his stuff all has to be through insurance and FDA approved and all the other stuff, which he's like, I think the best in Texas at doing it.
02:11:11.000 And then with Brigham, his whole vision is to literally take the middleman out of it, like the insurance companies.
02:11:27.000 Well, they're the most overwhelmed people in the world, doctors for the most part.
02:11:35.000 Oh, especially now, too.
02:11:36.000 First of all, they start their jobs, they start their careers massively in debt, right?
02:11:41.000 Most doctors start their career literally hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt.
02:11:47.000 And then they begin this journey of medical care and trying to take care of people and trying to pay.
02:11:54.000 They have malpractice insurance and all this other insurance.
02:11:58.000 And then people are coming in and they're just overwhelmed.
02:12:02.000 It's a crazy gig.
02:12:03.000 It's...
02:12:04.000 Yeah, I think what...
02:12:20.000 Mm-hmm.
02:12:36.000 And then you can stop in their tracks the top 10 chronic diseases in America, like heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer, like this kind of stuff you can prevent with a healthy diet with optimal nutrition and good source in your body and like the right healthcare.
02:12:53.000 Not the healthcare that treats you when you get cancer, but the healthcare that...
02:12:57.000 That treats you before you get cancer and keeps you from getting cancer.
02:13:00.000 Well, let's also be honest.
02:13:01.000 We're very fortunate that we have access to these sort of treatments.
02:13:04.000 A lot of people don't.
02:13:06.000 It's just the time to pursue it as well.
02:13:13.000 We're extremely fortunate that we have access to all these different things that can...
02:13:20.000 Like when Denise is saying, let's optimize your body.
02:13:25.000 That's...
02:13:25.000 That's a fantasy for a lot of people.
02:13:27.000 That's a privilege.
02:13:28.000 Honestly, for me, that's kind of the difference between the developing world or third world, developing nations, and here in the U.S. For me, with the pygmies and the water crisis,
02:13:44.000 for instance, that's completely preventable.
02:13:47.000 Completely preventable disease and death.
02:13:51.000 So that's on a whole other spectrum and level that's hard for a lot of us to hear and get because it goes in one ear and out the other.
02:13:58.000 If you see it, that can really impact you.
02:14:01.000 But if you feel it or live it or experience it with them, that forever changes you.
02:14:06.000 But then I guess on the lesser scale here in the United States, it's like...
02:14:11.000 Man, like, if you really look at it, I mean, like, we're so fortunate and we're so grateful, but still at the same time, I look at it and I'm like, I compare it to the water crisis.
02:14:20.000 We can prevent that.
02:14:21.000 We can prevent people from getting sick like that.
02:14:23.000 And now me on my own journey, my own healing journey.
02:14:26.000 It's like there is this kind of wellness revolution that's starting here that we do have access to saying, like, well, these things that are killing us, we can stop them in their tracks or we can push it back.
02:14:38.000 We can delay it.
02:14:39.000 And I'm really excited.
02:14:41.000 Like, I've gotten really close.
02:14:42.000 Well, I would say I've gotten close and I'm friends with David Sinclair now.
02:14:46.000 And he actually helped get me into rehab whenever I relapsed and I came back and I'd been to Mexico.
02:14:52.000 That dude's a saint because...
02:14:54.000 He helped me from Harvard send me the third of the three different types of tests they needed.
02:14:59.000 They did the one that barely went in the swab.
02:15:02.000 I think it's one of the ones we did here.
02:15:04.000 The other one that goes super deep in your nose.
02:15:07.000 And then they wanted the blood test one because they wanted just...
02:15:10.000 I'd been traveling internationally, so before I go to rehab, I needed all three of them.
02:15:14.000 So David overnighted it to the center, and I was able to get that taken care of.
02:15:19.000 He's a great guy.
02:15:20.000 He's a great guy.
02:15:21.000 I love David Sinclair.
02:15:22.000 He has such a great sense of humor for a brilliant man, too.
02:15:24.000 It's fun.
02:15:25.000 You know what else, though?
02:15:26.000 I got to connect him with Laird and Gabby.
02:15:29.000 And so we went up to Malibu.
02:15:31.000 I had dinner with David Sinclair in L.A. I was like, what are you doing tomorrow?
02:15:35.000 Me and Raphael and Shonji, we're going up to...
02:15:37.000 We're good to go.
02:15:53.000 And then he's with Rafael Lovato Jr., you know, 12-time world medalist, 6-time world champion, Shanji, who's got at least 10 world champions.
02:15:59.000 Yeah, they sent me the picture of all you guys in the sauna.
02:16:01.000 Oh, yeah.
02:16:02.000 Man, we were all in the sauna, and we were doing those underwater workouts, which, man, Laird was kicking our ass.
02:16:08.000 He's a beast.
02:16:09.000 Oh, he's a, yeah, he's next level.
02:16:12.000 See his ankle?
02:16:13.000 No, I didn't see his ankle.
02:16:14.000 His ankle was broken forever, and he just kept working out on it.
02:16:18.000 What do you got there?
02:16:19.000 Is that you guys?
02:16:20.000 Oh, it was David Sinclair.
02:16:21.000 His ankle was broken, and he just kept working out on it while it was broken forever, so it fused into this gnarly stump of an ankle, like a tree stump.
02:16:31.000 It's ridiculous.
02:16:32.000 He has one ankle that's like 30% larger than the other ankle.
02:16:36.000 Wow.
02:16:36.000 I'll check that out.
02:16:37.000 He's like, yeah, it's just fucked up.
02:16:38.000 I just kept walking on it.
02:16:40.000 I've been there a couple times and I've done the workout and I didn't notice his ankle, but...
02:16:44.000 He'll talk to you about it.
02:16:45.000 I will.
02:16:45.000 I'll ask him all about it.
02:16:46.000 Yeah, it was broken.
02:16:47.000 He just didn't do anything about it.
02:16:49.000 Yeah.
02:16:49.000 It just healed.
02:16:50.000 Wow.
02:16:50.000 Like a fucking animal.
02:16:52.000 Like some wild giraffe with a fucked up leg.
02:16:57.000 Yeah, he's a wild man.
02:16:59.000 David was literally doing all the workout.
02:17:00.000 This is his ankle.
02:17:01.000 Oh my God.
02:17:02.000 Look at it.
02:17:02.000 Wow.
02:17:03.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:17:03.000 That's insane.
02:17:05.000 He is such a beast.
02:17:06.000 So he was doing these squat jumps.
02:17:08.000 He was doing these gorilla ones that we were all doing, and I was able to keep up with him on that.
02:17:12.000 I forget the name of the other one he does, but he's like an underwater, like, I don't know, superhero mermaid, where he's like literally doing a, he goes into a squat, he does a curl, and then he does the squat jump, and he comes out, and he arches backwards.
02:17:25.000 So that way he does this beautiful, like, backflip in the water.
02:17:31.000 And literally he said, I'll show you guys how to do it.
02:17:33.000 He did a hundred reps.
02:17:35.000 He's doing it from like 10 or 11 feet deep in the pool and he's jumping out of it.
02:17:39.000 He literally did a hundred reps because it's all about technique.
02:17:43.000 It's all about flow.
02:17:44.000 Raphael and I and Shanji, we got like six, eight, 10. I mean, it's all about the flow and the breath because you go down that deep.
02:17:52.000 And for me, like, you know, I mean, I don't know, like you start to kind of freak out whenever you can't breathe.
02:17:59.000 And so, not in jiu-jitsu for me, but underwater with weights.
02:18:02.000 And then all of a sudden I go up, all of a sudden it's like, ooh, I don't know if I can keep going on this many reps.
02:18:07.000 I'm not kidding when I say he did 100. I know that sounds like a lot, but he did 100. Then David Sinclair's getting in there and he's trying to be a champ too.
02:18:15.000 And he was doing everything we were doing a little lighter and stuff, but he was just so for it.
02:18:19.000 He was just so game.
02:18:21.000 I know he's a Harvard professor and all that other stuff, a researcher and biologist and all this incredible stuff, but now I get to talk with him and Rob, who's a friend of mine, and I think he's the PR guy for For David.
02:18:37.000 But anyways, I'm starting to look into that NAD, the Resveratol, which I don't know about all that stuff, but he was talking to Laird and Gabby about it.
02:18:45.000 And they're just such cool people.
02:18:47.000 I got to thank you, man, for opening up this world of such an incredible community or people group that have come to support me.
02:18:56.000 Laird and Gabby have donated.
02:18:58.000 Through Layered Superfoods and Reese might actually come with Gabby potentially.
02:19:03.000 Well, we're both very fortunate.
02:19:04.000 We're both very fortunate.
02:19:05.000 We're connected to a lot of cool people and I'm very fortunate I'm connected to you.
02:19:09.000 To know people like you and the selflessness that you've exhibited, it's very humbling.
02:19:17.000 Well, thank you.
02:19:18.000 You know, you're an unusual dude.
02:19:20.000 Very unusual dude.
02:19:21.000 Definitely unusual.
02:19:22.000 Yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't know anybody that's, like, who got malaria three times, like, fuck it, I'm going back.
02:19:29.000 Well, I think it, I think for me, I don't think I've ever told it to you this way.
02:19:34.000 When I was there, my mom asked me to come back.
02:19:37.000 Some of the people that were supporting us asked me to come back the first time I got it.
02:19:41.000 Come back home?
02:19:42.000 Come back home.
02:19:43.000 When I was in Congo, I decided I was going to live there for a year.
02:19:46.000 I went in October, and by Thanksgiving Day, I find out that I'm dying of malaria.
02:19:51.000 And a pilot took me out of there into Uganda, and he pulled—literally, I never touched the runway in Uganda.
02:19:59.000 It's just a pilot and me on a little bitty prop plane— And they pull me out into a vehicle and take me to the hospital in Uganda.
02:20:07.000 They're saying, Justin, you come back to heal.
02:20:09.000 One, I thought, the doctors here don't know how to treat malaria.
02:20:11.000 The doctors here do.
02:20:13.000 Or the doctors in the United States don't know how to treat malaria, but the doctors in Uganda do.
02:20:17.000 They see it on a daily basis.
02:20:20.000 Logically, it makes sense for me to stay here.
02:20:22.000 But the other thing was, this was an opportunity.
02:20:24.000 And now I'm reframing that thought and everything else.
02:20:28.000 But I try to find the good and the bad.
02:20:32.000 And yes, I'm suffering from malaria.
02:20:34.000 Yes, this sucks.
02:20:35.000 But this is what the people that I love and who I'm here to help, this is what they go through on a daily basis.
02:20:40.000 Or they get this in their lifetime and they've lost people from it.
02:20:44.000 So now I get an opportunity to understand on a deeper level that I'll never forget.
02:20:49.000 Like, they go through this all the time, and it is a deadly killer all throughout the world.
02:20:55.000 It's one of the main missions of, I think, the Gates Foundation and other people trying to end malaria, like we've done mostly with polio and stuff like that.
02:21:02.000 And it's like, we gotta come up with something to, I think they have, like, new mosquitoes that are starting to target the mosquitoes that have malaria.
02:21:09.000 That scares the shit out of me.
02:21:11.000 Yeah.
02:21:11.000 Yeah, like, how's that gonna go wrong?
02:21:13.000 Yeah.
02:21:15.000 Hopefully they don't, yeah.
02:21:16.000 What else you got in your book, man?
02:21:18.000 Because I've got to get out of here in 20 minutes.
02:21:21.000 Yeah, let's do this.
02:21:22.000 Got anything crazy?
02:21:24.000 Got anything crazy?
02:21:25.000 You write it all down and get through all that?
02:21:28.000 Well, I did have one last gift for you, but I... Those fucking gifts, dude.
02:21:34.000 Stop.
02:21:35.000 Well, you're going to get that, and then you'll be able to give that to the Buffalo Trace.
02:21:39.000 Now I'm going to have to give out 120 fucking bottles of booze to people.
02:21:43.000 Mm-hmm.
02:21:45.000 For a guy who's sober, you seem to like people getting fucked up.
02:21:48.000 I like people enjoying themselves.
02:21:51.000 And for me, to be able to give that is even a gift to me, right?
02:21:55.000 It shows me that I can have that in my possession.
02:21:58.000 I'm not the addict that if it's in my possession or in my radius, I have to grab it and use it.
02:22:06.000 That's good, because here it is, baby.
02:22:08.000 Yeah, I know.
02:22:08.000 It's just the thing that if I do have it, then I wouldn't be able to stop.
02:22:13.000 Ambiguous.
02:22:13.000 Oh.
02:22:14.000 Oh.
02:22:33.000 But he took two weeks on that, and he just wanted to tell you thank you for the impact you've had in his life.
02:22:39.000 What did he make this with?
02:22:41.000 Man, he does it on computer.
02:22:42.000 He did this with a computer?
02:22:44.000 Yeah, it's wild.
02:22:45.000 Alex Ruiz.
02:22:46.000 And so he takes it on there, and he does all the craziness.
02:22:51.000 But you will look at that ten different times, and you'll get something new out of it every time you look at it.
02:22:55.000 Tell him I said thanks.
02:22:56.000 I will.
02:22:57.000 Sweet.
02:22:58.000 So, man, I appreciate you letting me be real, raw, vulnerable, share some of my messiest times in my life.
02:23:05.000 It's uncomfortable for me.
02:23:06.000 Yeah.
02:23:06.000 It's uncomfortable for me.
02:23:08.000 It is.
02:23:08.000 Because I want nothing but good things for you.
02:23:11.000 I know.
02:23:11.000 So you're telling me all those things, and I'm trying to find solutions, and I know they don't make sense.
02:23:15.000 I know they're not there.
02:23:16.000 It's not like it's that simple.
02:23:18.000 But I'm like, don't do that.
02:23:19.000 Stop doing this.
02:23:21.000 Hey!
02:23:23.000 Well, now it's on me where...
02:23:25.000 So, to end with my board, I was like...
02:23:27.000 My board of directors for Fight for the Forgotten, I just looked at them when we were here in Austin.
02:23:32.000 And a lot of them were in Zoom.
02:23:34.000 But I just said, you know, for me to not have lost everything with Fight for the Forgotten, my position, to not have lost any of the board members.
02:23:43.000 Like, we actually gained a board member.
02:23:45.000 And to not have lost these donors, but to like have had an increase in donations.
02:23:50.000 The most nonprofits in 2020 went down.
02:23:52.000 But I think the mission is so pure.
02:23:55.000 We want to defeat hate with love.
02:23:57.000 We really want to help people in a practical, tangible, sustainable way that they can take on and then champion.
02:24:03.000 You know, having your support has meant the world to us.
02:24:07.000 And we've been in existence 10 years now.
02:24:09.000 And what I've seen now is I really believe it's the tip of the iceberg.
02:24:13.000 If I start working smarter, not harder, and putting myself in these crazy positions, and I protect myself and my health, and I do the right things there, it's going to lead to even better things than we've done before.
02:24:27.000 Instead of 73 wells I'll be telling people how we've drilled 700 wells sometime in the next 10 years.
02:24:33.000 I don't doubt it.
02:24:33.000 I do not doubt it at all.
02:24:34.000 I know you can do it and I know what you've done is amazing.
02:24:38.000 So shout out to all the companies that have helped too.
02:24:40.000 Shout out to the Cash App.
02:24:41.000 Yes.
02:24:42.000 They've done amazing stuff and Buffalo Trace trying to get me fucked up beyond belief.
02:24:47.000 Well, hey, on that, I'm going to go with whoever wins this raffle.
02:24:52.000 And you're going to drink.
02:24:54.000 I'm going to watch them drink, and I'll have some water.
02:24:56.000 No.
02:24:57.000 But open invite for you.
02:24:59.000 I don't know.
02:25:00.000 It just sprung on me where in the next six months or a year, if you want to go see how they make it, maybe we go with them.
02:25:05.000 But I would love to.
02:25:07.000 Maybe not.
02:25:08.000 Maybe not.
02:25:09.000 But...
02:25:11.000 I'll go down one day, but, you know, it's like that's a giant commitment.
02:25:18.000 Yeah, I get that.
02:25:19.000 So I'm stoked to go with whoever wins the raffle.
02:25:22.000 I do want to see what it's like.
02:25:24.000 The process.
02:25:25.000 Yeah, and also the fact, I'm fascinated by the fact they've been around since 1773. Yeah.
02:25:30.000 I mean, that's just bananas.
02:25:31.000 There's a continually operating distillery for hundreds of years, you know?
02:25:37.000 Absolutely.
02:25:38.000 That's crazy to think about.
02:25:39.000 You know, they operated during the Prohibition.
02:25:40.000 No.
02:25:41.000 Yeah, they made whiskey for medicinal purposes.
02:25:44.000 Wow.
02:25:44.000 Yeah, like...
02:25:45.000 Yeah.
02:25:46.000 Well, medicinal purposes because when addicts or alcoholics, when they're going through withdrawal, they have to have it.
02:25:51.000 Right.
02:25:51.000 Alcohol and Xanax are the only two things that if you stop or barbiturates.
02:25:56.000 If you stop in cold turkey, they lead to seizures and can lead to death.
02:25:59.000 Right.
02:25:59.000 So a lot of times, like rehabs and facilities, they needed alcohol so they could give the people that are coming off of it.
02:26:05.000 Yeah.
02:26:06.000 So...
02:26:08.000 Well, listen, brother, you're a fucking saint.
02:26:10.000 You really are.
02:26:11.000 You're an amazing person.
02:26:13.000 I hate hearing you be down on yourself.
02:26:15.000 It frustrates me because I don't know what to do.
02:26:18.000 I think I'm true from that.
02:26:19.000 I'm trying to think logically about it.
02:26:21.000 How is this happening?
02:26:24.000 So I'm glad you let me think logically about it, even though it might not make sense.
02:26:29.000 No, it does.
02:26:30.000 And I'm really grateful that I've had a big breakthrough.
02:26:34.000 I mean, literally, the first six months of 2020 were the worst six months of my life.
02:26:37.000 But the last six months, like doing the hard work, doing deep work, like trying to uproot this garbage...
02:26:45.000 You know, instead of having these deep roots that produce like bad fruits in my own life, how about deep roots that produce like good roots and then even like a shade tree for, you know, the pygmies or these kids that are getting bullied or whatever.
02:26:55.000 Yeah.
02:26:56.000 And in a sustainable way to where it's through self-love, it's through self-care.
02:27:00.000 Self-care is not selfish.
02:27:02.000 You just got to stay on the path.
02:27:03.000 Yeah.
02:27:03.000 You know what to do.
02:27:04.000 You just got to stay on the path and don't ever let yourself get off of it.
02:27:08.000 Yeah.
02:27:08.000 You know, it seems so easy to let things slip a little bit, relax a little here, relax a little there, but...
02:27:13.000 There's certain paths that you really should never get off.
02:27:17.000 And the path of, first of all, of being connected to the moment, that's so important.
02:27:25.000 And one of the things about people throwing a bunch of things in their lives and problems in their lives is it keeps you from being connected to the moment.
02:27:32.000 Mm-hmm.
02:27:33.000 When you have all these distractions and problems and issues that keep coming up, that's why I get weirded out by people that always have problems.
02:27:40.000 And that's why I was saying, do you think that these problems, you're creating some of these problems, whether you realize it or not?
02:27:49.000 You see it with fighters.
02:27:51.000 And you really see it with fighters when they start to lose.
02:27:55.000 Sometimes they get in this fucking spiral, this head spiral, and they're never the same again.
02:28:01.000 You know?
02:28:02.000 Yeah.
02:28:03.000 Sometimes fighters will lose one fight.
02:28:05.000 Like Anderson Silva, right?
02:28:07.000 He's the baddest motherfucker on earth.
02:28:09.000 He loses one fight to Chris Weidman, clowning around, right?
02:28:13.000 He gets KO'd in a way where everybody's mocking him and making fun of him.
02:28:17.000 And literally doesn't win any fights after that.
02:28:20.000 Won one decision to Derrick Brunson for years and years and years.
02:28:26.000 It's crazy.
02:28:27.000 It just happens like that.
02:28:29.000 Do you think that that could possibly be what happens to Conor or no?
02:28:33.000 I was with his brother and the celebration we had.
02:28:37.000 Dustin's brother.
02:28:38.000 Yeah, Dustin's brother.
02:28:38.000 Sorry, Dustin's brother, Jimmy.
02:28:40.000 And I was in Lafayette with the whole family and went out on the swamps during the day and went wild oyster mushroom hunting and grilled those up and ate them.
02:28:50.000 Dustin is a different person.
02:28:51.000 Yeah.
02:28:52.000 He's a different person than he was when they first fought.
02:28:54.000 And Connor's a different person too, but I don't think...
02:28:59.000 I don't think he's the same animal that he was back then.
02:29:04.000 You know?
02:29:04.000 And also, their strategies are different.
02:29:06.000 Like, someone could say, like, oh, it's tough to be a savage, and you're waking up in silk sheets.
02:29:11.000 Yeah, he fought well in the beginning.
02:29:14.000 He did, in the first round.
02:29:15.000 He fought well.
02:29:15.000 He landed good shots, and Dustin admitted there was one time where he was caught, and he was in a little bit of trouble.
02:29:21.000 Right.
02:29:21.000 But the strategy of those low kicks, Conor has that wide stance And he puts a lot of weight on that front leg, and he did not seem to have an answer for those low kicks.
02:29:34.000 And that is just a fucking new element of the game that seems unstoppable, because you can only take a couple.
02:29:41.000 You know, Khabib was saying that when he fought Justin Gaethje, that those low kicks were as hard as he'd ever been hit before, and even he probably recognized He couldn't take too many of those.
02:29:53.000 I told Jimmy, Dustin's brother, after the first round, he just gave it away to Dustin and to Mike Brown.
02:29:59.000 They're going to stay on that calf kick.
02:30:00.000 They already knew it was working, but he didn't sit down in between rounds.
02:30:03.000 He didn't want it to fill back up.
02:30:05.000 I noticed he didn't sit down either.
02:30:07.000 He didn't sit.
02:30:08.000 It's damaged.
02:30:10.000 He just gave it away.
02:30:11.000 Keep going after that leg.
02:30:13.000 Well, I mean, it was obvious anyway.
02:30:15.000 I mean, he kept trying to grab the leg after he got kicked.
02:30:18.000 He wasn't checking it.
02:30:19.000 And when he was checking, he wasn't turning it out.
02:30:21.000 So he was still taking it on the meat of the leg.
02:30:23.000 So even if you lift your leg up, if you're checking those low calf kicks, they're still hitting the meat.
02:30:29.000 It's a fucking terrible way to go.
02:30:32.000 Your nerves just shut down.
02:30:34.000 Oof.
02:30:34.000 Yeah, I've had a couple of those before, and they're brutal.
02:30:37.000 And I'm curious because I've been talking with some of Manny's team who's donating to us, and some of his closest guys is executive director, and they're like, man, they were really looking forward to maybe the Manny fight and the Conor McGregor fight happening.
02:30:50.000 But now they said that his stock's come down a lot in boxing after being knocked out by Dustin.
02:30:55.000 But then John Cavanaugh's saying, well, if they don't get the rematch with Dustin Poirier, then he's just going to go over and fight in boxing now.
02:31:03.000 And I was thinking, coming off of that loss, I don't think that Jon Cavanaugh is being smart there, saying he's going straight into boxing.
02:31:09.000 He's not going to get the fight.
02:31:11.000 It's not going to be valuable.
02:31:13.000 It's not like it was before.
02:31:15.000 With Conor, if Conor wanted to take that fight before he fought Dustin Poirier, it'd be worth a lot of money after he knocked out Cowboy.
02:31:20.000 It's a valuable fight.
02:31:22.000 But coming off a bad loss like that, and a loss where he got KO'd, no.
02:31:27.000 That fight's not happening.
02:31:29.000 It's also like...
02:31:30.000 He needs a redemption.
02:31:34.000 And here's the thing about him getting a redemption.
02:31:36.000 This is the first time he's been knocked out, right?
02:31:38.000 Yes.
02:31:39.000 Actually knocked out.
02:31:39.000 Yes, yes.
02:31:40.000 In the UFC. Right.
02:31:42.000 But he needs a redemption.
02:31:44.000 And the actual redemption versus Dustin, you can't make a real good argument for it.
02:31:50.000 You can't make a real good argument for a third fight.
02:31:52.000 Because first of all, there's great fights for Dustin, right?
02:31:55.000 There's a rematch with Justin Gaethje, which was a much closer fight.
02:31:58.000 And that was when Justin Gaethje was fighting in a different way.
02:32:01.000 Justin Gaethje was fighting much more reckless, right?
02:32:04.000 There's the fight...
02:32:06.000 I mean, there's the Chandler fight, which they're trying to push for right away, which...
02:32:11.000 It's tough to make that argument when, you know, you've got...
02:32:16.000 Charles Oliveira, who I think is maybe the most talented guy in the division.
02:32:20.000 Charles Oliveira might beat them all.
02:32:22.000 But him, Oliveira versus...
02:32:25.000 If you wanted to be a purist, Charles Oliveira versus Dustin is the fight to make.
02:32:30.000 Because you've got Oliveira who just destroyed Tony Ferguson.
02:32:33.000 And then you've got Dustin who just destroyed Conor McGregor.
02:32:36.000 That's the fight.
02:32:37.000 Let's have that fight for the interim belt.
02:32:39.000 Or for the new belt.
02:32:40.000 Because if Khabib really does decide, that's a wrap.
02:32:44.000 Maybe he is deciding that's a wrap.
02:32:46.000 Dana said that he needed to see something spectacular, but Khabib said, no, that's not what I said.
02:32:53.000 I'm done.
02:32:53.000 So I think Khabib's probably done.
02:32:56.000 Yeah.
02:32:57.000 It would be really hard for me to watch Dustin and Gaethje again just because both of them are big supporters of Fight for the Friaten.
02:33:04.000 I was so nervous the first time.
02:33:06.000 I know.
02:33:06.000 How do you do it whenever you're friends with everybody?
02:33:09.000 It's hard, man.
02:33:10.000 It used to be really hard.
02:33:12.000 When Khabib doesn't want to return, I won't push it anymore, he says.
02:33:15.000 I'm obviously going to talk to Khabib, see if he wants to defend that title, and if he doesn't, I won't push it anymore.
02:33:21.000 Yeah.
02:33:22.000 Well, he'll probably give him one more opportunity, but I have a feeling Khabib's an unusual man.
02:33:27.000 Very unusual.
02:33:28.000 It's why he's the greatest lightweight of all time, for sure, and maybe the greatest fighter of all time.
02:33:34.000 I mean, Jon Jones has a better resume in terms of the accomplishments, but Khabib We're good to go.
02:34:01.000 This is not a disrespectful thing.
02:34:03.000 John Jones stands out in any fucking division.
02:34:05.000 He would be an amazing flyweight, right?
02:34:08.000 He's just that good.
02:34:09.000 But I believe that the guys that he's beaten, if you look at the guys he's beaten and look at the overall talent depth of the lightweight division...
02:34:18.000 I think you can make an argument that the lightweights are more talented or at least more technical or, you know, overall it's a deeper division.
02:34:26.000 Right.
02:34:27.000 So Jamie bringing up Dana just brought up something for me that, like, I'm really grateful for Dana in many ways, but one is that he said that he's going to help fund CTE research.
02:34:38.000 I actually just got back from a funeral in the autopsy says he died of complications due to CTE and he was one of my first sponsors and I was his training partner.
02:34:48.000 He's my training partner, but I was his coach.
02:34:50.000 He played football at Iowa State, but he got concussions in middle school.
02:34:55.000 Probably, at least they think he got concussions in middle school.
02:34:57.000 He got concussions playing football in high school.
02:34:59.000 Then he got concussions playing football in Iowa State.
02:35:02.000 85% of them, by the time they're in high school, they already have some CT. And then he started fighting.
02:35:08.000 And then I was a coach for him.
02:35:10.000 I was in his corner and everything else.
02:35:12.000 He sponsored me with his supplement company at the time.
02:35:16.000 Remember whenever NO Explode was huge?
02:35:18.000 Anyways, he started one called Cardio Force and that was my first supplement sponsor.
02:35:22.000 There is a new study that they're doing now with the UFC with mushrooms, with psychedelic mushrooms.
02:35:28.000 And this is based on some research from John Hopkins University and now the UFC is involved in this CTE therapy with psychedelic mushrooms.
02:35:42.000 And there's something about psychedelic mushrooms.
02:35:45.000 Psilocybin regrows neurons and they think it can regrow neural tissue.
02:35:50.000 And they think it might be able to actually help heal brain damage, which was thought to be a very difficult prospect to try to heal the mind once it's been damaged by stress and impacts and concussions.
02:36:05.000 Well, that could have been something that maybe helped Brian.
02:36:07.000 I'm really proud of his family and him.
02:36:11.000 He donated his brain to a research center in Boston, the number one CTE research center in the world.
02:36:19.000 What was really hard was the last three or four months, he really just tanked physically.
02:36:24.000 I got to share the eulogy with one of the people that spoke at the funeral.
02:36:28.000 I stayed with the boys.
02:36:30.000 He's got four boys and his wife, Gina.
02:36:33.000 Anyways, yeah, he...
02:36:37.000 He ended up hanging himself and he was forgetting everything.
02:36:43.000 He had watched his mother-in-law go through Alzheimer's and her forget people and they had to take care of her for two years or more and for three months.
02:36:53.000 And it was even longer than that.
02:36:55.000 He knew he had it back in 2016 whenever he actually wrote a suicide note.
02:36:58.000 It was back in 2016. And then he waited and on Christmas Eve, he asked, you know, he asked Kevin Burns.
02:37:07.000 Do you remember Kevin Burns who fought Anthony Johnson?
02:37:09.000 Yes.
02:37:11.000 Kevin Burns is a good friend of mine, good friend of Brian Sykes.
02:37:13.000 And he had asked him on Christmas Eve or the day before Christmas Eve about what if we started a charity in Iowa for people with CTE, former football players and people in MMA division.
02:37:23.000 And then something happened on December 26th.
02:37:26.000 They had a great Christmas, everything else.
02:37:29.000 But he was forgetting things for like three or four months.
02:37:32.000 He wasn't himself at all.
02:37:33.000 He had lost like 30 pounds, I think, in three or four months.
02:37:36.000 He's a big, strong guy.
02:37:37.000 They don't see it coming.
02:37:39.000 Guys that I know that have committed suicide from CTE, one of them in particular, just no one saw it coming.
02:37:46.000 He hugged his kids.
02:37:47.000 He was joking with them the very same night.
02:37:49.000 He went outside and he was working in the garage.
02:37:51.000 I can't hear it.
02:37:53.000 So I think there's going to be a lot of breakthrough, I hope, on CTE. And Brian, the thing that I even brought that up is even in his death, that was one of the things I said at the funeral, even in his death, he's still helping people.
02:38:07.000 He was one of the most loving people I'd ever met.
02:38:09.000 He would stop on the way to Ski Hills in Colorado from Iowa.
02:38:13.000 We were going skiing.
02:38:14.000 He would stop and stop by at McDonald's and get the homeless guy a meal.
02:38:19.000 Because he wouldn't give them money, but he'd stop.
02:38:20.000 And, you know, the kids or people would be saying, like, we've got to get to the ski lift and everything else.
02:38:24.000 And he'd stop by, and he would give this guy food.
02:38:27.000 And the guy would be like, oh my gosh, that's what I needed.
02:38:29.000 I was so hungry.
02:38:30.000 He was compassionate on the mats.
02:38:32.000 He was a great teacher.
02:38:32.000 He was a peewee football coach.
02:38:35.000 And then this is the thing that took him out.
02:38:37.000 And, you know, even in his death, his brain being studied is going to someday, somehow help people.
02:38:43.000 Did you read that article on Spencer Fisher?
02:38:45.000 Mm-mm.
02:38:45.000 It's a terrible article on Spencer the King, Fisher.
02:38:48.000 I know him though.
02:38:49.000 Amazing fighter from the early days of the UFC success.
02:38:54.000 And he had to retire due to lesions in the brain.
02:38:58.000 And there's an article about how poorly he's doing right now.
02:39:02.000 It was rough.
02:39:04.000 You know, I sent it out to a bunch of my friends and it's just one of those ones where you go...
02:39:09.000 Yeah, the style that he fought was so exciting.
02:39:13.000 He was such a wild dude, would fight anybody, had these wars.
02:39:17.000 But it's just, you pay a fucking price for this sport.
02:39:21.000 You really do.
02:39:22.000 And I think if people understood it more, they'd appreciate the accomplishments and the battles.
02:39:30.000 They'd appreciate the fighters more and what they're really putting out on the line.
02:39:34.000 You know, you could look at this Conor McGregor loss and you go, well, you know, the guy's rich.
02:39:40.000 That guy got damaged that night.
02:39:42.000 He got damaged.
02:39:43.000 It's not just his calf.
02:39:44.000 He got KO'd.
02:39:46.000 That's a price.
02:39:47.000 And it's a big price.
02:39:49.000 He got battered.
02:39:51.000 And he got dropped and knocked unconscious.
02:39:53.000 And that will pay.
02:39:57.000 He'll have to pay for that.
02:39:59.000 Hopefully they'll figure out some therapies where they can mitigate those problems that are going to occur from those kind of knockouts or maybe even reverse the damage, which would be amazing.
02:40:09.000 Hyperbarics help reverse the damage.
02:40:10.000 Yeah, hyperbarics.
02:40:11.000 But they believe that psilocybin therapy is very promising for this.
02:40:15.000 That's incredible.
02:40:16.000 Yeah, I'm going to have whoever's involved in that study come on here and explain it.
02:40:20.000 One of the things I really admire about you is, one, I know John Halkman pretty well, and then to watch Chuck—I don't know Chuck that well, but I know John real well—and to watch how Chuck left his career, you know, on all those brutal knockouts.
02:40:32.000 And then why I said I admire you is because of, you know, we both love Brendan.
02:40:36.000 I was training partners with him, was on The Ultimate Fighter with him, and just how you had that loving talk with him because you really care.
02:40:43.000 You really care about him.
02:40:44.000 That was so impromptu, and I probably shouldn't have done it on the air like that.
02:40:49.000 But I think look at him now.
02:40:51.000 Yeah, he's doing great.
02:40:52.000 Look at him now.
02:40:52.000 He's doing incredible.
02:40:54.000 We actually had a conversation today about a friend of ours who's really fucked up, who's a fighter, who's got some serious CTE. And I said, thank God you fucking retired.
02:41:03.000 Right.
02:41:03.000 Because I just saw it coming.
02:41:07.000 It was not...
02:41:08.000 And also, he wasn't into it anymore.
02:41:11.000 He could say he was into it, but I knew he wasn't into it.
02:41:14.000 He had a lot of other things on his plate, and he was doing well with those other things.
02:41:17.000 Yeah.
02:41:18.000 Well, look at that.
02:41:18.000 He's doing great now.
02:41:19.000 It's beautiful that you helped him, because he's too smart of a guy, too loving of a guy, too great of a guy to have to deal with that for the rest of his life.
02:41:29.000 But it's just so hard for people to abandon their identity.
02:41:33.000 It's so hard.
02:41:34.000 It's so hard for them to hear like, hey man, you pay for this.
02:41:39.000 If you get knocked out three or four more times, you're going to be fucked for the rest of your life.
02:41:45.000 And that's really what happens.
02:41:47.000 And when the wheels start falling off and they keep getting KO'd, It's horrible at the end.
02:41:54.000 It's horrible.
02:41:55.000 Well, I invite a loving conversation like that with me sometime, if me going back.
02:41:59.000 But the thing that I'm excited about is I'm in such a healthier place now that I can take or leave fighting.
02:42:05.000 I want to fight, to use it as a platform, and also because that's what I love to do.
02:42:09.000 But I also fight smart.
02:42:10.000 I get underhooks.
02:42:11.000 I'm a wrestler.
02:42:12.000 I don't take a lot of damage standing.
02:42:14.000 I haven't had a concussion yet that I know of.
02:42:16.000 That's amazing.
02:42:18.000 And so, yeah, I take people down.
02:42:20.000 And if I do stay standing, I try not to take a lot of damage.
02:42:23.000 Well, listen, brother, let's talk about the future.
02:42:25.000 But for now, get healthy.
02:42:26.000 I love you, man.
02:42:26.000 Thank you so much.
02:42:27.000 You're an awesome person.
02:42:28.000 You really are.
02:42:29.000 Well, you're one of the best men I know.
02:42:30.000 So thank you for that.
02:42:31.000 Thank you.
02:42:32.000 And tell everybody, fightfortheforgotten.org.
02:42:35.000 That's the website.
02:42:36.000 Fightfortheforgotten.org.
02:42:37.000 If people want to donate, they can donate one time.
02:42:39.000 They can become part of our Fight Club, which is our monthly giving club.
02:42:42.000 But really, right now, if you want to scroll down a little bit, it's at Buffalo Trace, right on our homepage, fightforthefengout.org, and you can win the whiskey experience of a lifetime.
02:42:54.000 You can get hammered forever.
02:42:56.000 Yes, and pick out your own whiskey, and it's going to be absolutely awesome.
02:42:59.000 I'll be there with you.
02:42:59.000 Justin Renn, ladies and gentlemen.
02:43:01.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:43:02.000 Goodbye.
02:43:03.000 Thanks, Joe.