The Joe Rogan Experience - March 17, 2021


Joe Rogan Experience #1620 - Nate Bargatze


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 8 minutes

Words per Minute

190.28265

Word Count

35,789

Sentence Count

3,773

Misogynist Sentences

57

Hate Speech Sentences

22


Summary

Comedian Joe Rogan is back! In this episode, we talk about moving back to his hometown of Nashville, what it's like going back to work after a long break, and what it s like to do stand-up on the road. We also talk about how to balance comedy with a family, and how he balances his comedy career with his wife and kids. Joe also talks about how he got his start in comedy, and why he decided to go back to comedy after a six year break. Joe also shares a story of how he almost didn't make it back to the comedy club scene at all. And, of course, there's a story about the time he almost died on stage in front of a packed house in Chicago. Enjoy the episode, and remember to share it with a friend or family member who needs a good night out! Cheers, Joe and Sarah! Check it out, and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! XOXO, Sarah and Sarah - Sarah's Dad, Sarah's Mom, Sarah Rogan and Joe's Dad Joe's Brother, John Rogan, and Sarah's Brother-in-Lawerence Rogan! Joe's Mom and Dad, Kevin Rogan's Dad John Rogans . Thanks to everyone who has been a part of the journey with us, and all the support we've gotten through this far and wide and far away! Thank you so much for all the love, support, support and support, all the way through this journey! - The Rogan Experience, and so much more! - The Joe Rogans Experience. - Check it Out! - by day, by night, by Night, by Day, All Day All Day! - By Night, By Night - All Day. by Night! - Joe's Back! (featuring the Rogans Podcast by Night by Night - By Day, By Day - by Night All Day, by the Night, all Day, all day, All Night, All By Night by Day by Night. Thanks, Joe's Family, By By Night! by Night... - by Day! "The Joe's Day" by Night's Day by Day by By Night by Day By Night By Night? By Night (by Night, Bye Bye Bye, By Novemous All Day By Day by By Day?


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:15.000 Welcome to Austin, Texas.
00:00:17.000 How are you doing?
00:00:18.000 I'm good.
00:00:18.000 You're a Nashville resident now, huh?
00:00:20.000 I am, yeah.
00:00:20.000 I'm from there.
00:00:22.000 When did you move back?
00:00:23.000 It's been six years.
00:00:25.000 I started in Chicago.
00:00:27.000 I moved from Nashville to Chicago first, and then New York for about nine years, and then LA for a couple.
00:00:33.000 And I started touring on the road a lot more, and then I moved back to Nashville.
00:00:39.000 It was the first, what I thought to myself, the first unselfish thing I did for my family in comedy.
00:00:45.000 Yeah.
00:00:46.000 I was being gone so much.
00:00:47.000 We have an eight-year-old.
00:00:49.000 I mean, at the time, we had a two-year-old.
00:00:52.000 And so I was like, just leaving them, you know?
00:00:54.000 And I was like, eh, let's just go.
00:00:56.000 But when I first moved back, I didn't tell anybody.
00:00:58.000 Really?
00:00:59.000 I was afraid people would think I'd quit comedy.
00:01:01.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:01:04.000 Isn't that weird?
00:01:06.000 Like you can only do comedy in a couple places.
00:01:08.000 Yeah, I was so scared.
00:01:10.000 I had my buddy Rory Scoville.
00:01:13.000 I moved, didn't tell him.
00:01:15.000 And he came to Nashville and I was like, hey, I'll pick you up at the airport.
00:01:18.000 I'm at my parents' house.
00:01:19.000 And then I picked him up and drove to my home.
00:01:22.000 And I was like, I've been gone for six months.
00:01:24.000 Because I realized you weren't seeing anybody.
00:01:27.000 Yeah.
00:01:28.000 Yeah, if you're on the road a lot, it almost doesn't matter where you live as long as you have a workout room.
00:01:35.000 Yes.
00:01:35.000 And you, Zany's, is that your spot?
00:01:37.000 I use Zany's, but I would do, Zany's is my workout room.
00:01:41.000 I started changing where I really started working out on the road.
00:01:44.000 Like, it was doing, just constantly touring.
00:01:47.000 And so I liked building the act, you know, in that long format, like doing that hour.
00:01:55.000 Right, right.
00:01:55.000 Like I'm doing it right now.
00:01:57.000 And so like having to build it where I would always eye open with new and I like to see how far I can get.
00:02:02.000 And then so I can have some kind of gauge.
00:02:05.000 So you're open with new?
00:02:07.000 Yeah, because you're the most excited about it.
00:02:08.000 Right, it's fresh.
00:02:09.000 It's fresh and like and usually your audiences will give you the most grace at the top.
00:02:16.000 So you can kind of be like, I'm excited about them.
00:02:19.000 I'm the most excited about these jokes.
00:02:21.000 I'm going to get a little grace from them because they're excited that you're coming out.
00:02:25.000 So I do that.
00:02:26.000 And then I can get a real timing.
00:02:28.000 Because one time I mixed in old and new after a special.
00:02:33.000 And I remember a guy afterwards being like, I did all old stuff.
00:02:37.000 And I was like, no, I did half new.
00:02:39.000 Because it's mixed in, they don't know.
00:02:40.000 Right.
00:02:41.000 And so that way, if I do, if I open with it, I mean, I'll even, like, after a special, if I got 40 new and I have to close with 20 from the special, I'll tell the crowd.
00:02:50.000 I was like, all right, that's all the new jokes I got.
00:02:52.000 And then they feel like, oh.
00:02:54.000 Then afterwards, they're like, well, I got so many new jokes.
00:02:56.000 And they feel great about it.
00:02:59.000 It's an interesting change of thought process between the old guard and the newer comics that are doing specials on a regular basis.
00:03:09.000 Like the olden days, guys would keep an act forever.
00:03:12.000 They'd keep an act for 10, 15, 20 years.
00:03:15.000 I mean, it was...
00:03:16.000 So when I started, I moved to...
00:03:18.000 Actually, I have a story with you about first starting.
00:03:22.000 Oh.
00:03:22.000 You were responsible for basically the first time I ever went on stage.
00:03:26.000 I mean, almost in a comedy.
00:03:27.000 I think Zany Chicago might have been the first actual club I went to.
00:03:30.000 It was either that or the comedy store.
00:03:32.000 So I was friends with a buddy of mine, Josh Baker.
00:03:36.000 He was in the band Prom Kings.
00:03:37.000 Do you remember band?
00:03:39.000 Sure.
00:03:39.000 Yeah.
00:03:39.000 And so we came out to L.A. to hang out with him.
00:03:44.000 And so they knew you.
00:03:48.000 I think it's 2003 or 2004, and I've been doing comedy maybe a year.
00:03:53.000 And so we come out, and then you invite us to the show at the comedy store.
00:03:57.000 So we come watch you.
00:03:58.000 We sit in the front row.
00:03:59.000 I remember all this stuff that's like a nightmare as a comedy.
00:04:01.000 Now when you think back, then I didn't care.
00:04:03.000 Had you been thinking about doing it already?
00:04:05.000 I already started.
00:04:06.000 I moved to Chicago.
00:04:06.000 So I was in Chicago with Hannibal and Pete Holmes and TJ Miller and Kumail.
00:04:12.000 That was kind of the group that was in Chicago.
00:04:14.000 So we went from Chicago to LA to go just visit.
00:04:17.000 And so we hung out with them.
00:04:18.000 We go to your show.
00:04:19.000 You introduced them at one of their shows.
00:04:22.000 Because I guess you were good friends with the band.
00:04:26.000 Or you like this band.
00:04:27.000 And so you introduced them.
00:04:28.000 And I remember I talked to you.
00:04:31.000 Afterwards, we were at the show, and I'm talking about comedy.
00:04:34.000 I'm a new comic, so I don't even really know what to ask.
00:04:39.000 You were very, very nice.
00:04:41.000 And then we go watch you, and then you said, are you going to go up at the comedy store?
00:04:44.000 I was like, it was when you had to sign up for the open mic the week later.
00:04:47.000 So you signed up for the Monday to go up the next week.
00:04:50.000 And I was like, well, I'm not going to be here.
00:04:52.000 And you go, oh, I'll call.
00:04:54.000 And then you got me on stage.
00:04:57.000 You called and said, hey, he's just in town doing this.
00:04:59.000 I'm a year comic.
00:05:00.000 Look at this.
00:05:01.000 It worked out.
00:05:02.000 It worked out, dude.
00:05:04.000 They brought me up.
00:05:05.000 They go, this next comic's one of Joe Rogan's best friends.
00:05:09.000 And they were...
00:05:10.000 I mean, the other comics are just furious, and I'm like, I don't...
00:05:13.000 I was like, we met him last night.
00:05:15.000 He's a very nice guy.
00:05:16.000 That's a funny thing, man.
00:05:18.000 Those little nudges and little pieces of good criticism or good praise from a comic when you're starting out, that can go so far.
00:05:33.000 So far.
00:05:34.000 I remember to this day, Lenny Clark.
00:05:37.000 I'd done stand-up.
00:05:39.000 I'd done it for like a year, and I'd gotten paid one time before.
00:05:42.000 This is the second time I ever got paid.
00:05:44.000 And I opened up for Lenny Clark in Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
00:05:48.000 I think I've done this show.
00:05:50.000 Really?
00:05:50.000 This gig, yeah.
00:05:51.000 Is it Jay's?
00:05:52.000 Jay's in Pittsfield?
00:05:53.000 Was it in a hotel?
00:05:54.000 I don't think so.
00:05:55.000 I've done a Pittsfield mask.
00:05:57.000 It was like a nightclub.
00:05:59.000 It was like one of the best road gigs.
00:06:02.000 It was a three-hour drive from Boston, but it was one of those road gigs where everybody would get excited.
00:06:08.000 And this was after Lenny had been on HBO. He was on the Rodney Dangerfield Young Comedian Special, whatever Rodney called it.
00:06:15.000 And so just being around him was crazy.
00:06:18.000 And then opening for him was even more crazy.
00:06:21.000 And then after I got off stage, he was like, kid, you're really funny!
00:06:24.000 Like with that crazy Boston accent.
00:06:26.000 Man, that powered me through like years.
00:06:30.000 Through years.
00:06:30.000 I was like, oh man, I'm doing this.
00:06:33.000 Like I'm never quitting now.
00:06:35.000 Like Lenny Clark said I'm funny?
00:06:36.000 Fuck!
00:06:37.000 I'm good.
00:06:39.000 It's gigantic.
00:06:40.000 Like that was you doing that at that time.
00:06:43.000 A, I knew the comedy store, but it's not like I even really...
00:06:47.000 And then it was like going to New York and then be like, I've already done the comedy store.
00:06:52.000 Even though it was the open mic, it was just...
00:06:54.000 I saw the world, and I got to see the world.
00:06:56.000 And then talking to you at that...
00:06:58.000 The band, you were just talking about going up, and you got to go up.
00:07:02.000 Stuff that you would say to comics, but it was stuff that I didn't know at that time.
00:07:06.000 And you realize that it's enormous.
00:07:10.000 Yeah, that's enormous.
00:07:11.000 I did that Pittsfield Mass gig...
00:07:13.000 uh i because i was in new york i opened up for tony v oh i love tony v yeah and they i was the host got paid 500 bucks it was crazy like i was like this is crazy i've never been paid 500 bucks for it right it's packed it's sold out i mean you just murder And I thought maybe it wasn't a hotel.
00:07:32.000 I don't remember.
00:07:33.000 My wife went with me.
00:07:34.000 It was a big night.
00:07:35.000 They gave me 500 bucks cash.
00:07:36.000 I end up, later on that night, I lose the $500.
00:07:39.000 Oh, no.
00:07:39.000 It just falls out.
00:07:41.000 So the night goes from this amazing night with my wife for 500 bucks to now we're in a fight.
00:07:48.000 But I mean, I still think, I tell her every day, because at the time I was like, you ever going to remember this $500?
00:07:53.000 Like, I always kind of live by that motto.
00:07:55.000 Like, I'll get another $500.
00:07:57.000 I bring it up still, I mean, it's been 15 years, and I still just go, you remember that $500?
00:08:01.000 Like, just to make that point.
00:08:06.000 Tony V gave me a really interesting piece of advice one day because he was telling me that he drove from Boston to New York.
00:08:13.000 I think he got a writing gig.
00:08:15.000 I forget what the gig was, but he had to travel on a regular basis.
00:08:18.000 He was still living in Boston, but he was doing the gig in New York.
00:08:22.000 And I go, that's like a three and a half hour drive.
00:08:24.000 How often do you do that?
00:08:26.000 And it was regular, like multiple times a week.
00:08:29.000 And I said, how are you doing that?
00:08:30.000 He goes, I just go Zen.
00:08:32.000 He goes, I just say, this is what I'm doing now.
00:08:34.000 I don't get upset.
00:08:35.000 I just say, this is what I'm doing.
00:08:37.000 I'm driving.
00:08:37.000 And I just think about it that way.
00:08:39.000 And I remember thinking like, oh, yeah, you can do that, right?
00:08:43.000 You can just say, this is what I'm, instead of going, fuck, I can't believe I'm driving.
00:08:47.000 Three and a half hours.
00:08:48.000 How much time is left?
00:08:48.000 Two hours and 19 minutes.
00:08:50.000 Fuck!
00:08:50.000 Instead of thinking like that, you can just drive.
00:08:54.000 Just drive.
00:08:55.000 Just do it.
00:08:55.000 Yeah, it's a great way to, the zen idea of it.
00:08:58.000 I can do that with food.
00:09:00.000 I eat terrible.
00:09:01.000 But sometimes if I'm trying to eat better, it's like, and it's not a lot.
00:09:07.000 But you try to think, like, I'm going to eat a decent meal tonight.
00:09:11.000 I'm going to have, like, steak and green beans tonight or something, whatever.
00:09:14.000 That's all I know that's, like, good.
00:09:16.000 I don't know.
00:09:16.000 I'm like, real food.
00:09:17.000 I'm like, I don't want to be wheat.
00:09:19.000 I'm on a salad.
00:09:20.000 And I wrap my head around it very early in the day to go, that's what I'm expecting.
00:09:26.000 Because I can go the other way.
00:09:27.000 And if I think I'm going to eat something bad, and that doesn't happen, I'll lose my mind.
00:09:33.000 I don't know if that's Zen.
00:09:36.000 Yeah, it is.
00:09:37.000 You just got to decide this is what you're doing.
00:09:39.000 I mean, that's how it is with everything, with exercise, with writing.
00:09:42.000 Like, you just got to decide, I'm writing now.
00:09:44.000 I'm getting up and I'm writing.
00:09:45.000 Are you a word for word?
00:09:47.000 Not necessarily, but sometimes.
00:09:50.000 Sometimes I write something and it works word for word.
00:09:54.000 Most of the time not, though.
00:09:55.000 Most of the time what I do is I write essays.
00:09:57.000 Like, I'll have a subject that I'm working on, so I have this long...
00:10:02.000 Long-form idea like oh, you know, whatever sub coffee, whatever pick a subject, right?
00:10:06.000 So as I'm writing I just start writing all the shit about coffee and then out of it somewhere something I go aha I got something and I'll extract that and I'll put it on a separate piece of paper a Separate file.
00:10:18.000 Yeah, say this is you know There's something in there.
00:10:20.000 There's something there.
00:10:21.000 Yeah, and then sometimes there is and sometimes there's not and I have Fucking, I don't know how many these files that never went anywhere.
00:10:30.000 I'll go back to them and just check, like, panning for gold again.
00:10:33.000 What do you got in here?
00:10:34.000 Anything?
00:10:34.000 Nothing?
00:10:34.000 Nothing?
00:10:35.000 Fuck!
00:10:35.000 And I'll just, every now and then.
00:10:37.000 But sometimes bits just come to you on stage, too.
00:10:41.000 And you gotta be open to that.
00:10:42.000 Like, sometimes you'll be at dinner.
00:10:44.000 And someone will say something, you'll have some fucking hilarious retort to that, and you're like, holy shit, that could be a bit.
00:10:50.000 My friends do that all the time.
00:10:51.000 They'll say something hilarious, and I'm like, dude, you gotta write that down.
00:10:54.000 There's something in that.
00:10:55.000 You never know.
00:10:56.000 You never know.
00:10:57.000 And then that can become a bit.
00:11:00.000 I had my last special, I have a joke, where I went golfing and a guy saw me with no shirt on.
00:11:07.000 And he just said Olivia.
00:11:09.000 He thought I was his, he was looking for his elderly wife and saw me with no shirt on.
00:11:15.000 And from a distance, he thought we had the same build.
00:11:18.000 And he's like, oh, he's like, Olivia.
00:11:20.000 So that happened.
00:11:21.000 And I opened that.
00:11:23.000 But I always think that that's crazy.
00:11:24.000 That was a month before I taped that special.
00:11:26.000 And that's what I opened the special with.
00:11:28.000 Where you have to be open to the idea that you're like, I don't know.
00:11:31.000 When it happened, I knew.
00:11:33.000 I was like, well, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
00:11:38.000 I called a couple people on the drive to be like, this is funny, right?
00:11:43.000 Make sure you're not a crazy person.
00:11:46.000 And then I went and I was going to Tampa, the improv in Tampa.
00:11:50.000 And I drove there and I opened with it that night.
00:11:53.000 And I was like, this is a new opener on the special.
00:11:56.000 Yeah, you never know.
00:11:57.000 You never know.
00:11:58.000 That's the beautiful thing about creating, about comedy.
00:12:01.000 It just comes out of the air.
00:12:03.000 It just comes out of your mind.
00:12:04.000 And you feel, you get nervous when you, I mean, after a special though, there's definitely moments, like right now, when you're trying to write new stuff and you're like, dude, I might be one of the worst comedians that I've ever lived.
00:12:15.000 I think that all the time.
00:12:17.000 I think it's one of the great things about comedy that it keeps you humble because you're always a beginner every two years in.
00:12:23.000 Yes.
00:12:24.000 You do a special and then you're a beginner again because you have all this stuff you have to work out.
00:12:29.000 And it's really hard.
00:12:30.000 During the pandemic, there's only been a few guys that I know that have...
00:12:34.000 Burt Kreischer has been the most gangster about it.
00:12:37.000 He's toured regularly from the jump.
00:12:39.000 He started doing those drive-in movie shows.
00:12:41.000 He kind of...
00:12:43.000 I'm pretty sure it was Burt's idea to do these drive-in shows.
00:12:47.000 I think he started it.
00:12:48.000 I did it.
00:12:49.000 I did them too.
00:12:50.000 I did like 20 of them.
00:12:51.000 And yeah, he was, I mean, he would kill them.
00:12:54.000 I mean, he's kind of built for that.
00:12:55.000 Oh yeah, he's big.
00:12:57.000 He was a big act.
00:12:58.000 He turns like big energy, big performing, takes his shirt off, everybody honks their horn.
00:13:03.000 Dude, I had someone, we go to Butler, PA, it's pretty rough when you see a Ford F-150's lights hit you in the face because they leave early.
00:13:11.000 Like, that's the hard part.
00:13:12.000 Like, when you're on stage, dude, and it's just truck, these lights just hit you, and he couldn't figure out how to get out, so he's just driving, and you're like, just leave, man.
00:13:22.000 You're like, just some...
00:13:23.000 You're like, please someone help him get out.
00:13:25.000 Like, it's so rough.
00:13:26.000 That's hilarious.
00:13:27.000 That's the most inconspicuous or non-inconspicuous leaving ever.
00:13:31.000 You're in a fucking truck.
00:13:33.000 He's going to start that car and let it warm up.
00:13:37.000 He's like, we're going soon.
00:13:38.000 That's hilarious.
00:13:40.000 Those were tough.
00:13:41.000 That's what I had to do.
00:13:44.000 But you know what?
00:13:45.000 If you went into it with the right attitude, because I know some comics were like, these are the worst.
00:13:50.000 And they are.
00:13:50.000 It's not ideal.
00:13:51.000 But if you went into it, I go, these people are coming out.
00:13:55.000 They haven't been able to do anything.
00:13:57.000 What does it matter if my feelings are not?
00:13:59.000 I don't feel like I'm getting laughed.
00:14:01.000 That's not what it's about.
00:14:02.000 And it's about making these people be happy.
00:14:06.000 And they did, in Chicago, we did Chicago, it was 500 cars.
00:14:09.000 When I walked out, people flashing lights, honking the horns, they honked for laughs.
00:14:14.000 Yeah.
00:14:14.000 Because it was like 45 degrees, raining, so they're all in the windows up, and they would kind of just do little beeps.
00:14:20.000 That's so weird!
00:14:21.000 But you learn that, you know, I just need a response.
00:14:25.000 Like the zen idea of it, when you go into it with a better attitude, I'm not mad the whole time I'm up there.
00:14:33.000 Did you hear laughs at all?
00:14:36.000 There'd be a couple people sitting up front, but not really.
00:14:38.000 Wow.
00:14:39.000 And so you'd hear just some honking and laughing.
00:14:42.000 Did it fuck with your timing at all?
00:14:43.000 Yeah, I mean, yeah.
00:14:44.000 I did 24 minutes of 60-minute material.
00:14:49.000 I got off like, oh, that was long right there.
00:14:51.000 We barely started.
00:14:52.000 I was like, oh, God.
00:14:54.000 Did you really do 24 minutes?
00:14:55.000 No, my special I did, though.
00:14:57.000 I had it timed out to 64 minutes.
00:15:01.000 You did have to...
00:15:02.000 Figure out how to be like, just trust that they're laughing.
00:15:05.000 Right.
00:15:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:06.000 And then, so when we did the special, they had everybody, we had to do Universal Studios in California.
00:15:12.000 100 people.
00:15:13.000 All of them had to get tested, but then also still had to wear masks during the show.
00:15:16.000 And the first night, you taped two shows.
00:15:19.000 First show, 64 minutes is what my material was running at the drive-ins.
00:15:24.000 First show, I did 43 minutes.
00:15:26.000 Wow, how come?
00:15:27.000 Because I realized you could hear some laughs, not really much, and you can't see their faces.
00:15:35.000 So you just look like you're just looking at eyes.
00:15:40.000 And so unless a guy shook because he was laughing so hard...
00:15:43.000 I mean, you're just telling a joke just to, like, eyes not moving.
00:15:46.000 That's so weird.
00:15:47.000 And it was tough.
00:15:48.000 And so the second one, I was like, all right, well, we have to...
00:15:51.000 You know, I got off.
00:15:52.000 You know when you get off and you're like, that's not...
00:15:54.000 That was cool.
00:15:55.000 And the second one, did you make them take their masks off?
00:15:57.000 No.
00:15:58.000 But we had...
00:15:59.000 Is it Universal in Hollywood?
00:16:00.000 Yeah.
00:16:01.000 Universal Studios, yeah.
00:16:02.000 And they...
00:16:03.000 So we had...
00:16:04.000 They had...
00:16:05.000 The crowd...
00:16:06.000 The audience had mics on their tables.
00:16:08.000 And so he put that in my monitor up a little louder.
00:16:11.000 And so I could hear them laugh through the mask.
00:16:14.000 Because they're laughing, but it's like, I just can't hear.
00:16:17.000 Yeah, it's so frustrating when you're talking to people and they're trying to give you directions or explain something and you're just leaning in.
00:16:25.000 I just pull it down and go, what's that?
00:16:27.000 What the fuck are you saying?
00:16:29.000 You come around the plastic.
00:16:32.000 You go around it and pull your mask down.
00:16:34.000 What's that?
00:16:35.000 They're like, well, that's not what you're supposed to do at all.
00:16:37.000 You just make it way worse.
00:16:39.000 Well, people that have already had COVID, they're so fucking...
00:16:43.000 They don't care at all.
00:16:45.000 They're just free people.
00:16:47.000 They're like people that have gotten out of jail and can never go back.
00:16:50.000 Robbing cars.
00:16:51.000 It doesn't matter.
00:16:53.000 That's how they behave.
00:16:54.000 That's how Jamie is.
00:16:55.000 They're flagrant.
00:16:56.000 They go out to clubs.
00:16:59.000 Hinchcliffe is the same way.
00:17:01.000 Yeah, they get this attitude about it, like, I'm free.
00:17:04.000 Yeah.
00:17:05.000 Well, a lot of people have a lot of power right now.
00:17:07.000 I was talking a little bit about it in my new act.
00:17:10.000 Not to do my act, but the idea that everybody gets to tell someone to pull your mask up.
00:17:17.000 I can go tell anybody I want.
00:17:18.000 So everybody has power.
00:17:20.000 Just a guy on the street can go, your mask is a little down.
00:17:24.000 And you're like, that guy's got power over you.
00:17:26.000 Cover your nose.
00:17:27.000 And you're like, I don't even know that, you know.
00:17:29.000 Yeah, you have to kind of respond and listen to him or you're a dick.
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:34.000 It's a lot of power.
00:17:35.000 I saw some guy was fucking with people.
00:17:37.000 He made a mask that looked like he wasn't wearing a mask.
00:17:41.000 It looked like the mask was under his chin.
00:17:43.000 So the mask is like a mask of his face.
00:17:46.000 And then this part looks like one of them operating masks, but it's under the chin.
00:17:51.000 Yeah.
00:17:51.000 And some lady was yelling at him at a store.
00:17:54.000 He's like, I'm wearing a mask.
00:17:55.000 She goes, no, you're not wearing it the right way.
00:17:57.000 And she was looking right at him and just kind of trying not to make eye contact.
00:18:02.000 So not clearly recognizing that it's a fake.
00:18:05.000 It's good.
00:18:06.000 It was good.
00:18:06.000 It was like a photograph.
00:18:08.000 But it was funny to watch the anger that people have.
00:18:12.000 Yeah, people get real upset about it.
00:18:14.000 I mean, I, you know, I always say, like, if you've been to a place where it's been uncomfortable to have the mask on, like, if you go farther out of, like, a city, and I've walked in with a mask on, and you walk in, you're like, oh, sorry about that, everybody.
00:18:27.000 Like, you just feel, like, they're like, what's COVID, dude?
00:18:30.000 Like, why do you have a mask on?
00:18:31.000 Andrew Schultz is in Miami right now.
00:18:33.000 Yeah.
00:18:33.000 And that's what he said.
00:18:34.000 He said it's like that there.
00:18:35.000 He said it is fucking bananas.
00:18:37.000 He goes, they don't give a shit.
00:18:39.000 He goes, no one's wearing a mask.
00:18:41.000 They're going to nightclubs.
00:18:42.000 He goes, people are just out there wandering around.
00:18:44.000 Florida has no rules.
00:18:46.000 They're just wide open.
00:18:47.000 And Texas is on the verge of that.
00:18:49.000 They've kind of announced no rules, but...
00:18:51.000 They're fighting in here in Austin, but the cases are down in Austin, so they're lowering, like we were talking to the nurse out there, they're lowering whatever the stage it is that you're allowed to do things.
00:19:03.000 Yeah, everything's going down, but I just did Stand Up Live in Phoenix.
00:19:09.000 And it was half capacity.
00:19:11.000 So they said they could open to 100%, but then they still have to be six feet apart, so you can't.
00:19:16.000 So it's like little stuff like that where you say, well, they can't open.
00:19:19.000 You can't tell them, because comedy clubs pack them in.
00:19:22.000 I thought they just went full open recently.
00:19:26.000 But they did.
00:19:27.000 Still?
00:19:27.000 But you have to be six feet apart.
00:19:30.000 Oh, really?
00:19:30.000 Yeah, you still have to be socially distanced.
00:19:32.000 So you can't go...
00:19:33.000 It's kind of impossible to go full...
00:19:36.000 Because if you're in a building, and they're like, we can get full capacity in here, and you're like, well, I can only fit.
00:19:41.000 And you're like, well, everybody still needs to be six feet apart.
00:19:43.000 You're like, well, then I guess we're not.
00:19:44.000 Were they really six feet apart at Santa Blive, though?
00:19:46.000 Because Callan told me it was packed.
00:19:48.000 It was packed.
00:19:49.000 I always think these clubs, of course, look packed.
00:19:53.000 But when you go walk around, those tables, we forget how packed comedy clubs got it.
00:19:58.000 They got it really packed.
00:20:00.000 And so now people are sitting just kind of how they're supposed to sit.
00:20:04.000 In real life.
00:20:04.000 In real life.
00:20:05.000 Like if you go to a restaurant.
00:20:07.000 It's just, you know, you're not just on a stranger's back.
00:20:10.000 Right.
00:20:10.000 And you're just...
00:20:11.000 You're not supposed to be looking at someone's text right over your shoulder.
00:20:13.000 No, just everybody.
00:20:15.000 They have the plexiglass, too, on the tables.
00:20:20.000 Yeah, I saw this about Fauci.
00:20:21.000 He said, the U.S. considering updating three-foot social distancing guidelines and key move to reopen schools.
00:20:27.000 Yeah, they're saying there's no difference between six-foot and three-foot.
00:20:30.000 Like, stop.
00:20:32.000 I don't understand.
00:20:34.000 You've tried to figure all this stuff out.
00:20:36.000 I always think we have a graph problem in this country.
00:20:39.000 There's too many graphs.
00:20:40.000 And I don't understand.
00:20:41.000 They just keep throwing more out there.
00:20:43.000 And they always say per capita.
00:20:45.000 And you're like, I don't even know.
00:20:46.000 What's per capita of what?
00:20:48.000 I have no idea.
00:20:49.000 Per capita of Florida, you're like, I don't know.
00:20:51.000 That could be good or bad.
00:20:52.000 You don't know what that means?
00:20:54.000 That means the population?
00:20:55.000 Well, it means whatever the number would be, whether it's per thousand or per million people.
00:21:03.000 So if you have a place like California that has 40 million people in the state versus a place like Wyoming that has less than a million, you would say how many COVID cases they have per capita, like per 100 people.
00:21:15.000 So Wyoming, they're basing it on whatever the number is.
00:21:19.000 So if they're basing it on 100 people, they say Wyoming has X amount per capita versus California has whatever the number is.
00:21:29.000 Why would they not just use the real numbers?
00:21:31.000 Because they want you to think differently.
00:21:33.000 Because if California has 2 million cases, there's 40 million people.
00:21:39.000 Wyoming only has less than a million people in the entire state.
00:21:42.000 So if Wyoming has a thousand cases, like, oh my god, Wyoming's a huge success story.
00:21:46.000 Not necessarily.
00:21:47.000 Oh, because they got less.
00:21:48.000 Per capita, based on the amount of people that are there.
00:21:51.000 Like, there's one out of every 10 people has COVID, or one out of every 100 people has COVID, versus California, whatever the number is.
00:21:59.000 That's what per capita means.
00:22:00.000 Seems like a lot, to be honest.
00:22:02.000 But I barely made out of high school, Joe, so I don't know what's going on, dude.
00:22:05.000 Listen, I barely made out of high school, too.
00:22:07.000 I used to have nightmares about being forced to go back.
00:22:11.000 Out of high school?
00:22:11.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:12.000 I used to have nightmares about, like, I didn't get my requirements.
00:22:16.000 Like, I didn't care.
00:22:18.000 I didn't necessarily care what my grades were.
00:22:21.000 I just wanted to get out.
00:22:22.000 But what I did care is I didn't want to be a high school dropout.
00:22:26.000 Yeah.
00:22:26.000 Like, a high school dropout, to me, at the time, It was like a death sentence.
00:22:31.000 Like, for sure you're going to be a loser.
00:22:32.000 Yeah.
00:22:33.000 Which was my number one fear.
00:22:34.000 Like, it was that I was going to be a loser.
00:22:36.000 I was so scared of being a loser.
00:22:37.000 I went to college just because I didn't want people to think I was a loser.
00:22:41.000 Yeah.
00:22:42.000 Because I went, like, a whole year without doing any college at all.
00:22:45.000 Like, I went, like, from, you know, graduating to, you know, when I was, I guess I graduated at 17 until whatever the fuck, you know, the next year.
00:22:54.000 And I answered so many questions.
00:22:56.000 Yeah.
00:22:57.000 Like, oh, I'm taking a year off.
00:22:58.000 And people look at you like, oh, man.
00:23:00.000 Here we go.
00:23:00.000 I'm a fucking loser.
00:23:01.000 Yeah, here we go.
00:23:02.000 I'm like, shit, I'm going to be a loser.
00:23:03.000 It was before people traveled abroad, too.
00:23:05.000 You're like, I'm taking a year off.
00:23:06.000 No one said that.
00:23:07.000 Well, dude, I lived in Boston.
00:23:09.000 They didn't even travel to other cities.
00:23:10.000 Yeah.
00:23:11.000 Like, they didn't go anywhere.
00:23:12.000 And it was like such a blue collar.
00:23:16.000 I lived in a place called Newton Upper Falls, which is like this blue collar, you know.
00:23:21.000 It was a nice area.
00:23:22.000 Real quiet.
00:23:22.000 I go back to it now.
00:23:23.000 It's like, wow.
00:23:26.000 We're good to go.
00:23:49.000 And there's places where, like California, you can just kind of chill.
00:23:52.000 You can't chill in Boston.
00:23:54.000 You'll freeze to death.
00:23:56.000 Yeah, air-conditioned heat goes out in California, you're like, we're fine.
00:23:59.000 Like in LA, it's like the greatest, every day is the greatest day ever.
00:24:02.000 Yeah.
00:24:03.000 I mean, it feels amazing.
00:24:04.000 I remember when I first came there in 1993, I was doing something with MTV, and me and my friend Gary Valentine, we went out there, and he was staying with me, and we were wandering around.
00:24:16.000 We were like, dude, this is paradise.
00:24:17.000 This is like another day in paradise.
00:24:19.000 Every day, it was like the sun was shining, and it was beautiful.
00:24:23.000 Who was your guys that you started with?
00:24:25.000 Like, Valentine?
00:24:27.000 Valentine I knew because I was good friends with Kevin James, and it's Kevin's brother.
00:24:33.000 I had left Boston right when Burr was coming up.
00:24:38.000 So Burr was coming up right when I was leaving, and then I went to New York right after that.
00:24:44.000 So the guys that were with me, I met Chappelle when he was like...
00:24:49.000 Dave, I think Dave was like 18 or 19. And, you know, Norton, I knew Norton back then.
00:24:56.000 I knew Neil Brennan when he was a doorman.
00:24:58.000 He was a doorman at Boston Comedy.
00:25:00.000 Yeah.
00:25:01.000 Marin, was he?
00:25:02.000 Yeah, Marin was one of the guys that gave me a really nice compliment when I was an open-miker.
00:25:08.000 When I was a raw open-miker.
00:25:09.000 Just hadn't been doing it very long at all.
00:25:11.000 And he said something nice to me, and I remember like, because he was a professional.
00:25:15.000 I was like, What everybody's...
00:25:18.000 When you first go...
00:25:20.000 So when I moved to New York, I went to Boston Comedy Club and I barked and handed out flyers.
00:25:25.000 Oh, did you do that?
00:25:26.000 I did it with Pete Holmes, his show.
00:25:29.000 I did exactly that show.
00:25:31.000 So with Pete, he got me...
00:25:33.000 I moved like five months after Pete did and he was like, I'm barking at this club.
00:25:36.000 And so I was like, all right, I'll go do that.
00:25:38.000 I remember just standing on the corner and...
00:25:40.000 It taught me to learn to, like, when I have goals in comedy, it was to learn to just have little goals.
00:25:45.000 Like, I never set big goals.
00:25:46.000 I always set just a goal that I can get.
00:25:48.000 So I was like, I don't want to be on this corner.
00:25:51.000 So I was like, how do I get off this corner?
00:25:53.000 And then it was like, you just want to go stand in the door.
00:25:57.000 I would, at that moment, dream of just being able to take people's tickets at the door.
00:26:02.000 Right.
00:26:03.000 And so you're like, and you're just, you know, handing these flyers out.
00:26:05.000 People are just dropping them in front of your face.
00:26:07.000 Like, no one cares, dude.
00:26:08.000 Like, just throwing them.
00:26:10.000 It's like 25 degrees out.
00:26:12.000 You're like, eh.
00:26:13.000 And so, but I was at Boston.
00:26:16.000 So Chappelle used to always come by.
00:26:17.000 This is 2004 or 2005. So Chappelle would always come by and do spots.
00:26:23.000 He'd go up in front of six, seven people.
00:26:25.000 No one was there.
00:26:26.000 And then we'd go outside and just say, hey, Chappelle's on stage.
00:26:29.000 This was when Chappelle's show has already been off the air.
00:26:32.000 No.
00:26:33.000 It's right before he ended it.
00:26:36.000 Oh.
00:26:37.000 So it was on.
00:26:38.000 It was on.
00:26:38.000 Wow.
00:26:39.000 I remember him coming and having white makeup on his neck like if he played a white person on the Chappelle's show.
00:26:45.000 And he would still have it on, you know, because he'd come from there to...
00:26:49.000 Straight to the club.
00:26:51.000 Straight to the club.
00:26:52.000 And so we'd go up at Boston and everybody would go on stage.
00:26:56.000 I'll never forget these one people.
00:26:57.000 They walked by and I said, hey, Dave Chappelle's on stage.
00:27:00.000 If y'all can go watch for free, you know?
00:27:02.000 And Boston Comedy Club, remember, had those steps and there was a window.
00:27:06.000 And they go, I don't believe you.
00:27:07.000 I was like, well, I'm at a comedy club.
00:27:10.000 So I was like, he's in there.
00:27:12.000 Just go look in the window.
00:27:13.000 If he's not there, then don't go in.
00:27:15.000 And they were like, no.
00:27:17.000 And they left.
00:27:17.000 They left.
00:27:19.000 I think about those people every day.
00:27:21.000 They could have watched Chappelle for free.
00:27:22.000 Those people and that 500 bucks.
00:27:24.000 Those 500 bucks.
00:27:25.000 I bring them to my wife every day.
00:27:27.000 Those people, too.
00:27:29.000 Wow.
00:27:29.000 I did Dave's show when he was in New York.
00:27:32.000 We did this Fear Factor episode.
00:27:35.000 And Tyrone Biggums was on Fear Factor.
00:27:37.000 And it was in a warehouse.
00:27:39.000 It was in the middle of the winter.
00:27:40.000 Freezing fucking cold.
00:27:41.000 No heat in the warehouse.
00:27:42.000 So we had these little blast furnace.
00:27:45.000 You know those things that they do on sets?
00:27:47.000 Yeah.
00:27:47.000 Where it's like...
00:27:49.000 Those things that are blowing hot air out.
00:27:51.000 And you just stand in front of that until it's time to do the scene.
00:27:54.000 And then you go out there and do the scene and everybody would run back and stand in front of the blast furnaces.
00:27:58.000 But he was in character the whole day as Tyrone Biggums.
00:28:05.000 He was having so much fun.
00:28:09.000 Watching him, he would come by...
00:28:11.000 He would go up for a while.
00:28:14.000 I think it's when Boston switched to the Comedy Village.
00:28:20.000 My buddy Dustin Chaffin is the one that got us.
00:28:22.000 He was running to Boston at the time.
00:28:24.000 And then it switched to Comedy Village, whoever sold it.
00:28:28.000 But then Chappelle came by one night and hosted for everybody.
00:28:31.000 Even the open mic guys that were going up.
00:28:34.000 Because he would come up and just do obviously whatever he wanted.
00:28:38.000 And getting to see that, Bill Burr was a big deal for me.
00:28:42.000 Patrice O'Neal.
00:28:43.000 I used to sit in Patrice's car because he would park it out front of the Boston and you couldn't park there.
00:28:48.000 And he'd go on stage and I would sit in his car.
00:28:50.000 And so if a cop came, I would just drive his car around and wait until he got done.
00:28:54.000 Wow.
00:28:55.000 I went to their...
00:28:55.000 I saw Burr and Patrice.
00:28:59.000 Everybody's a big deal, but they were big for me because when I went to New York, you know, at that time, 2005, something like that, Burr's just a comic that people know him in New York, but he's not what he is now, obviously.
00:29:13.000 And so they would come by and they would run their HBO one-night stands for these 30-minute specials.
00:29:19.000 And I remember I timed Patrice's one night.
00:29:22.000 He didn't ask me, by the way.
00:29:23.000 Just like a young comic being like, I'll time it for you.
00:29:26.000 And he gets off and I have no concept of being on TV. I think he has to do 30 to the dot.
00:29:33.000 And I tell him afterwards, that was like 34 minutes.
00:29:36.000 And he just looked at me and walked away.
00:29:39.000 It was just like...
00:29:42.000 There is no reason for me.
00:29:43.000 I was so embarrassed about doing it.
00:29:46.000 And now I know.
00:29:47.000 But at the time, I was just trying to be a good comic.
00:29:52.000 Did you see the Comedy Central documentary they did about him?
00:29:55.000 I haven't watched it yet.
00:29:57.000 I haven't got to watch it yet.
00:29:58.000 I haven't either.
00:29:58.000 I haven't either.
00:29:59.000 I will make myself, for sure, but I've seen so many of his sets.
00:30:04.000 He was the best.
00:30:06.000 He was, for sure, one of the greats.
00:30:08.000 For sure.
00:30:09.000 But maybe even more important, he was a cornerstone of not giving a fuck.
00:30:15.000 You know what I mean?
00:30:15.000 You had to have a guy like that that was an elite stand-up comic.
00:30:19.000 What?
00:30:21.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:30:23.000 And you needed a guy like that to have a great point, like really well thought out point that was hilarious, that showed you why you shouldn't care or why something was stupid.
00:30:33.000 Yeah.
00:30:34.000 I remember there was some controversy about Opie and Anthony, and he went on some show, and some woman was saying that certain jokes could never be funny.
00:30:45.000 And he went and said a joke that was on that subject that was funny.
00:30:52.000 And he was like, look, but this is a point that he had that's a really good point that I stick with to this day.
00:30:59.000 It's like, it all comes from the same place, whether the joke is funny or the joke is not, whether it's offensive or whether it's hilarious and non-offensive.
00:31:09.000 It's coming from the same place.
00:31:11.000 You're just trying to be funny.
00:31:13.000 Yeah.
00:31:15.000 When you're a comic, you understand that.
00:31:16.000 Because, like, you'll say something that some people might find offensive, but the only reason why you're saying it is not because you're trying to be mean.
00:31:24.000 You're saying it because you think there's something funny in there.
00:31:26.000 Like, you're trying to find the funny.
00:31:28.000 And sometimes, like, you'll slip, and it doesn't work at all.
00:31:32.000 And sometimes...
00:31:32.000 Agreeable is not funny.
00:31:34.000 Right.
00:31:34.000 Yeah.
00:31:35.000 Like, the whole point of it is, like, I can't agree with you.
00:31:37.000 Exactly.
00:31:38.000 Comedy's all built from...
00:31:39.000 Sometimes if someone, like, they'll be like, oh, you're being mean to him.
00:31:42.000 You're like, well, I don't...
00:31:43.000 That's what...
00:31:43.000 Comedy's mean.
00:31:45.000 Sometimes, yeah.
00:31:46.000 It's mean.
00:31:46.000 I told a joke where I said I did something to my dad, but I came out and I did a show.
00:31:51.000 These people didn't expect a comedy, so they didn't know I was a comedian, and I started telling my act.
00:31:56.000 They don't know what I'm doing, so it just sounds like I'm doing a mean speech.
00:31:59.000 Because that's what comedy is if there's no context to it.
00:32:03.000 You'd be like, this guy's the worst.
00:32:05.000 And you're like, oh, but if I just told them...
00:32:09.000 I was the comedian.
00:32:10.000 They would be like, oh, okay.
00:32:11.000 They get it.
00:32:12.000 I still live to this day by something Patrice said.
00:32:17.000 I kind of started with Big J, Kurt Metzger.
00:32:22.000 Kurt Metzger, by the way, and Kurt and Big J were one of the comics I ever saw that I just was like, really, where I was like, you moved to New York and you're like, oh, man, this is like the real.
00:32:31.000 These guys are really good.
00:32:33.000 Have you been paying attention to what Metzger's doing with Kyle Dunnigan?
00:32:37.000 Yeah.
00:32:37.000 Yeah.
00:32:38.000 Fuck.
00:32:39.000 Yeah.
00:32:39.000 Matt Skirt's one of the funniest guys I've ever...
00:32:42.000 Just super smart.
00:32:43.000 I remember watching him at the very beginning.
00:32:46.000 He would take me on the road.
00:32:48.000 We'd do these old, weird gigs.
00:32:50.000 And so he would just call me his opener.
00:32:52.000 And I'm friends with Kurt at this point.
00:32:54.000 I drove him to the gig.
00:32:56.000 And we'd be in the elevator, and he's just on the phone.
00:32:58.000 He's like, what's that?
00:32:59.000 No, I'm sitting here with my opener.
00:33:00.000 I'm like, Kurt, just say...
00:33:03.000 My buddy.
00:33:06.000 It's not like I'm opening for Seinfeld or something.
00:33:11.000 You're getting paid $800 for this weekend.
00:33:15.000 He just would call me that to my face.
00:33:17.000 And I got him in that room, though.
00:33:19.000 We shared a hotel room.
00:33:22.000 That's the gig we're doing.
00:33:24.000 And he goes to put, we're going to the bathroom, and he's like, is this lotion?
00:33:27.000 And I would always just mess with him.
00:33:29.000 Or if he asked a dumb question, he goes, I need lotion.
00:33:32.000 It says conditioner.
00:33:33.000 And I go, that's it.
00:33:34.000 It's conditioner for your skin.
00:33:35.000 And I just tell him that.
00:33:36.000 And then I walk in there, and he's just rubbing conditioner all over his body.
00:33:40.000 Yeah.
00:33:42.000 And then we had to go do radio.
00:33:46.000 That's why he called me opener.
00:33:47.000 He's a brilliant guy, but he's an odd duck.
00:33:49.000 The moment I met him, the first time I met him, I met him in Montreal, Ari introduced me to him.
00:33:54.000 And he goes, hey, what's up?
00:33:55.000 And then he goes, hey, what are you doing for your hair?
00:33:57.000 Your hair's falling out?
00:33:58.000 Are you doing anything for it?
00:33:59.000 I was like, whoa.
00:34:01.000 I go, yeah, I'm minoxidil, all kinds of shit.
00:34:04.000 He's like, yeah, me too.
00:34:05.000 Literally the first words out of his mouth.
00:34:10.000 He's got an interesting way of looking at things, but he's also got a brilliant perspective because he grew up in a cult.
00:34:18.000 And because he grew up in a cult, it's like...
00:34:21.000 He sees a lot of those same patterns in woke thinking, where you can't question certain ideologies, and he gets really angry.
00:34:29.000 He goes, no, no, no, no.
00:34:30.000 I know what the fuck this is.
00:34:31.000 He goes, I grew up with this shit.
00:34:32.000 What was he, a Jehovah's Witness?
00:34:34.000 Yeah.
00:34:34.000 That was what, right?
00:34:35.000 Yeah.
00:34:36.000 And his stories about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness were fucking crazy.
00:34:40.000 I mean, can you imagine that coming to your door?
00:34:42.000 Like, it was just like...
00:34:44.000 Hey, what are you doing with your hair?
00:34:45.000 That's the first thing he says.
00:34:46.000 You're like, oh, what are you...
00:34:48.000 Well, he's just...
00:34:49.000 I don't know.
00:34:50.000 I'm so happy he's around, though.
00:34:52.000 He makes me so happy at the Comedy Store whenever I talk to him.
00:34:57.000 Unbelievable.
00:34:57.000 And when I watched him at the very beginning...
00:34:59.000 The Patrice thing...
00:35:01.000 So Jay was...
00:35:02.000 We used to go to Patrice's house for, like, Fourth of July or something.
00:35:07.000 He always had a party at his house.
00:35:08.000 And so I got invited, and Jay, and then someone, I got into it with someone else, one of Patrice's friends, basically, and he was like, and he told Jay, hey, Patrice doesn't want Nate to come to the party.
00:35:19.000 And then Jay calls Patrice and is like...
00:35:24.000 Well, the context of this, too, is like, so Patrice would always ask me, I grew up in the South, like, I grew up, you know, Christian in the South, typical Southern upbringing, going to church, all this stuff.
00:35:32.000 So Patrice knew that, and he would ask me, like, do you believe in dinosaurs and stuff?
00:35:35.000 And I would just go with what, I would say no.
00:35:38.000 I believe in them, but like, it was, you know, I was like, I want to just say no.
00:35:41.000 Like, I'm not going to give him what he wants.
00:35:42.000 Right.
00:35:43.000 Because then he would make fun of you and it'd be great.
00:35:44.000 Right, right, right.
00:35:45.000 So I would always do that.
00:35:47.000 And so Jay calls him and says, hey, our other guy says that Nate can't come to your house for that party.
00:35:56.000 And Patrice was like, what?
00:35:57.000 He goes, I didn't say that.
00:35:59.000 He goes, that dude doesn't believe in dinosaurs.
00:36:01.000 You don't think I want that in my house?
00:36:02.000 I want that all over my house.
00:36:05.000 He goes, he can come to the party.
00:36:06.000 And I've lived my life by that.
00:36:08.000 With that open-mindedness to go, if someone came up to me and said, I don't believe in the moon, I'd rather talk to that guy than a guy that does believe in the moon.
00:36:16.000 It's funner to be like, what kind of crazy...
00:36:20.000 Do you know there's people out there that don't believe in the moon?
00:36:22.000 Are there?
00:36:23.000 I would love to talk to them.
00:36:25.000 I don't know if I want them to know where I am.
00:36:31.000 It's going to be hard to get away from them if they're that crazy.
00:36:36.000 Hashtag space is fake.
00:36:37.000 You need to Google that.
00:36:38.000 Google space is fake.
00:36:39.000 There's a bunch of people that think that space is fake and that we are on a flat plane.
00:36:44.000 Like we're on some sort of a flat plane and that the stars are lights and that this is all...
00:36:50.000 Like a Truman Show?
00:36:52.000 Yes.
00:36:52.000 That it's a conspiracy to keep us from understanding that God has created us and that we're special.
00:36:59.000 We're not one of an infinite number of planets in the universe.
00:37:03.000 No.
00:37:03.000 No, we are God's creation, and this is the heavenly petri dish, or whatever the fuck it is.
00:37:10.000 I mean, if I start going down that road, I don't know what cap it is, so I'll probably be like, I'll be in it.
00:37:16.000 Just sitting with this group.
00:37:18.000 It's wild, man, because the thing about these YouTube videos is, if somebody puts together a YouTube video, What they can do is talk very eloquently and articulately and say shit that's batshit crazy that doesn't make any sense at all to a scientist.
00:37:31.000 But if they say it and no one interrupts them and goes, Stop!
00:37:34.000 That's not how it works.
00:37:35.000 Stop!
00:37:36.000 That's not true.
00:37:37.000 Stop!
00:37:37.000 This is the real statistic.
00:37:38.000 Stop!
00:37:39.000 This is how we know that's not true.
00:37:40.000 And this is how they studied it.
00:37:41.000 And this is all the scientists that worked on this for 50 fucking years.
00:37:45.000 And then you're making a YouTube video saying that these are all Nazi propagandists that were put here by the Rockefellers.
00:37:50.000 To, you know, to ruin children's education.
00:37:53.000 But you could say that in a video, and if I watch, I'm like, fuck, man.
00:37:57.000 You know what I learned today?
00:37:59.000 I learned some crazy shit about space.
00:38:01.000 It's not even real.
00:38:02.000 And there's a bunch...
00:38:04.000 It's kind of died off.
00:38:05.000 Like, the flat Earth thing was a great example of that.
00:38:08.000 There was a period of time where it was like a mental contagion.
00:38:13.000 Like, it made its way through a lot of dumb stoners, a lot of people that don't read, a lot of people that don't pay attention to science, or a lot of people that are like really in disbelief of everything the government says.
00:38:26.000 And there was like hundreds of videos about space and the Earth being flat and, you know, that there's an ice wall around Antarctica.
00:38:36.000 It's kind of gone away now.
00:38:37.000 People have abandoned it, for the most part.
00:38:39.000 But I used to follow it, like, to the point where I was like, it was one of the most stunning things about the internet, was how many people were out there that really believed the world was flat.
00:38:47.000 Yeah.
00:38:48.000 How many people was it?
00:38:48.000 Could it be that many people?
00:38:50.000 Is it...
00:38:50.000 I think it was thousands.
00:38:52.000 Thousands.
00:38:53.000 There was a basketball player.
00:38:54.000 Who was the basketball player?
00:38:55.000 Oh yeah, Kyrie Irving.
00:38:56.000 Yeah.
00:38:56.000 Yeah.
00:38:56.000 He was a flat Irving.
00:38:57.000 He's not anymore.
00:38:59.000 He abandoned it.
00:39:00.000 And he admitted.
00:39:01.000 Did he?
00:39:04.000 I think he went down a rabbit hole.
00:39:06.000 But this is what I'm saying.
00:39:08.000 You can go down a YouTube rabbit hole and watch these videos and they make so much sense.
00:39:13.000 Oh yeah.
00:39:14.000 They'll tell you things and they'll speak in this tone.
00:39:16.000 And this is why it happened.
00:39:18.000 And this is why you think this.
00:39:20.000 And this is why it's a lie.
00:39:21.000 And you're like, wow, I've been lied to.
00:39:23.000 And it's a mindfuck.
00:39:25.000 Yeah.
00:39:26.000 I would like to see those guys' families, like just their family life, like their daughters, like, I drew a picture, and you're like, I don't have time for this, right?
00:39:32.000 You know, the earth is flat.
00:39:34.000 Like, I mean, just like the weight, if that was true, the weight they have to walk around with, they feel like it's a lot.
00:39:40.000 Like, they know.
00:39:41.000 They know something that everybody else doesn't.
00:39:43.000 Everybody doesn't.
00:39:44.000 That's how I always look at stuff.
00:39:45.000 If you do conspiracies, you tend to want to be more true than they're not.
00:39:50.000 If you feel yourself wanting something to be like, I hope that's real, you're like, it's probably not real, dude.
00:39:55.000 Because it's too good.
00:39:57.000 Right, that's Bigfoot.
00:39:58.000 Yeah.
00:39:59.000 Bigfoot's too good.
00:40:00.000 I love Bigfoot.
00:40:01.000 I love Bigfoot.
00:40:01.000 I believe.
00:40:03.000 I watched this documentary the other day.
00:40:07.000 I think it was, it's called Missing Persons 411 Hunters or something like that.
00:40:16.000 And what it's about, it's like a really screwy documentary.
00:40:20.000 But the concept of the documentary is that there's been a bunch of people that just disappeared in the national forests.
00:40:27.000 Is that it?
00:40:27.000 Missing 411 the hunted, yeah.
00:40:29.000 So in national forests, there's people that have disappeared with no trace.
00:40:34.000 Not a few of them, but really what it is is just the vastness of the forest.
00:40:40.000 I think people underestimate how vast forests are.
00:40:44.000 It's a lot.
00:40:45.000 It's a lot!
00:40:46.000 I've been to Oregon, Mount Hood.
00:40:48.000 I told the cab driver, I go, you guys got a lot of trees here.
00:40:51.000 That's how much I was overwhelmed by the trees.
00:40:53.000 Just on the ride there, it was uncomfortable.
00:40:55.000 I was like, this is a lot of trees.
00:40:57.000 He's like, alright.
00:40:58.000 Well, the thing about the Pacific Northwest is it's essentially a rainforest.
00:41:03.000 Like Mount Rainier, all those areas.
00:41:05.000 So the amount of water and nutrients in the soil is absurd.
00:41:10.000 So the trees are like Q-tips in a box of Q-tips.
00:41:13.000 You can't believe how dense they are.
00:41:15.000 So if you saw a bear moving between those trees, you can convince yourself it was a Sasquatch.
00:41:21.000 Especially if you saw a bear standing up on two feet, which they do all the time.
00:41:24.000 Bears walk on two feet all the time.
00:41:27.000 There's tons of video of them doing it.
00:41:29.000 So if you saw that in between trees from 100 yards away at dusk, when it starts getting dark, and you're like, shit!
00:41:35.000 And they make weird noises too, like bears, especially when they're standing up, because a lot of times when they're standing up, they're trying to threaten other bears.
00:41:42.000 So they're like moving towards them and making themselves bigger by standing up.
00:41:46.000 And they'll make this noise.
00:41:51.000 Which sounds like a gorilla, right?
00:41:53.000 But there's tons of video.
00:41:55.000 I've seen it personally with my eyes in the woods.
00:41:59.000 I've seen bears fight and I've seen bears from 30 yards away stand up and go at each other like that.
00:42:05.000 I've seen it and I've seen them make those noises.
00:42:07.000 They're threatening each other.
00:42:08.000 But if you're in the woods and you see that and it's dark out and maybe you've never seen a bear before...
00:42:13.000 And, you know, maybe you're just fucking out on a hike and you see that, you're like, oh my god, I saw a Bigfoot.
00:42:17.000 And you will dedicate your whole life to, like, finding Bigfoot and finding proof.
00:42:23.000 And the floor there in the forest is so thick with leaves and pine needles that when you step on it, it doesn't even leave a footprint.
00:42:32.000 It's just like a soft composting pile.
00:42:38.000 Everything is just sort of deteriorating in these thick layers of pine needles and leaves and sticks and branches.
00:42:47.000 And you're not going to find footprints.
00:42:49.000 You're not going to find any of them.
00:42:50.000 You know Les Stroud?
00:42:53.000 Yeah.
00:42:53.000 So he did that show about- Survivor Man Bigfoot, yeah.
00:42:56.000 But it just went away.
00:42:58.000 Bro, that show.
00:42:59.000 I love Wes Stroud.
00:43:01.000 I love him.
00:43:01.000 I love Survivor Man.
00:43:03.000 That show was so fucking dumb.
00:43:05.000 Yeah.
00:43:05.000 He had a guy on the show that is known in the Bigfoot world as being full of shit.
00:43:11.000 Yeah.
00:43:12.000 Which is bad.
00:43:13.000 Like, the Bigfoot world is pretty open-minded.
00:43:18.000 I mean, this is one of the things that I wanted to bring up about that 411 The Hunted thing.
00:43:23.000 There's...
00:43:24.000 Audio recording that was supposedly taken from the 1970s from Northern California.
00:43:34.000 I want to say Sonoma?
00:43:38.000 I don't remember where it was.
00:43:40.000 It was somewhere in Northern California, but they call them the Samurai Sounds.
00:43:47.000 Samurai, and it's the weirdest shit ever, man.
00:43:49.000 It's like these guys had this spot that they would go into the mountains, and they would hunt every year.
00:43:57.000 And they built this structure out there, and then they brought recording equipment, and they claimed to have recorded sounds of these animals, these Bigfoot, and that these Bigfoot were around them all the time while they were up there.
00:44:12.000 Now what's crazy about it is...
00:44:14.000 The sounds are so weird.
00:44:16.000 It sounds like someone pretending to be Japanese that doesn't actually speak Japanese.
00:44:21.000 Have you ever heard it?
00:44:23.000 We'll play it for you.
00:44:24.000 It's the weirdest shit.
00:44:26.000 It sounds so strange and so fake.
00:44:31.000 But, you know, like, they have these quote-unquote experts that say the human voice is not capable of making sounds remotely similar to this.
00:44:40.000 The range is...
00:44:42.000 Which doesn't make any sense if you know who Michael Winslow is.
00:44:45.000 Yeah.
00:44:45.000 Right?
00:44:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:44:46.000 That guy who...
00:44:47.000 That guy went on...
00:44:48.000 He does a woman peeing when she goes to the bathroom.
00:44:50.000 Yeah.
00:44:50.000 He does everything.
00:44:51.000 Yeah, he does everything.
00:44:52.000 He did Led Zeppelin.
00:44:53.000 He played Whole Lotta Love with his mouth.
00:44:55.000 And it sounds incredible.
00:44:57.000 But this samurai, there's these loud whoops, whoops.
00:45:01.000 And these guys are in the foreground.
00:45:04.000 The guys who are recording, they're trying to communicate with these things.
00:45:08.000 They sound so calm.
00:45:10.000 I mean, if there really was giant fucking eight-foot apes out there wandering around like, you know, two, three hundred yards away from you screaming and whooping and talking, would you really, and you're in the woods, would you really be so calm?
00:45:25.000 Wouldn't you be freaking the fuck out with these guys?
00:45:28.000 Do you have it?
00:45:29.000 Yeah, I'm trying to make sure I find the right thing because I'm stumbling across some traps.
00:45:34.000 Oh.
00:45:35.000 Like people are making fucking around the internet.
00:45:36.000 I wish I could remember the gentleman's name.
00:45:38.000 Well, I think I have it, that's all I'm saying.
00:45:40.000 So, Ronald J. Moorhead and Alan Barry, maybe?
00:45:44.000 Is that right?
00:45:44.000 Yes, Ron Moorhead, yeah.
00:45:46.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:45:47.000 The Sierra Mountains, that's what it is.
00:45:52.000 And so, it's the weirdest shit ever.
00:45:55.000 Listen, just listen to this.
00:45:57.000 I read what it could be, but we'll listen first.
00:45:58.000 It could be bullshit, that's what it could be.
00:46:22.000 That's how I say, all aboard.
00:46:43.000 This is, hold on, stop, stop, stop.
00:46:47.000 This is a terrible version of it.
00:46:48.000 There's a better version of it where you can hear the guys really clearly.
00:46:51.000 The people talking.
00:46:53.000 I don't know why that's so scratchy.
00:46:56.000 But they're like, they're over by the lake.
00:47:00.000 Like, they're talking like that.
00:47:03.000 This very strange sound.
00:47:05.000 And they're being calm about it.
00:47:07.000 Yeah.
00:47:07.000 And these, you know, supposed vocal experts are analyzing it.
00:47:11.000 The human body is incapable of making such sounds.
00:47:14.000 You know, and that area of...
00:47:19.000 You got it?
00:47:19.000 I don't know.
00:47:20.000 It says HD. Okay, look here.
00:47:22.000 Yeah.
00:47:23.000 Yeah.
00:47:28.000 They're knocking.
00:47:30.000 That's another thing that Sasquatch do.
00:47:32.000 They knock.
00:47:49.000 That one's weird.
00:48:07.000 Scoot ahead a little bit and hear the samurai sounds.
00:48:17.000 Still sounds terrible.
00:48:19.000 Anyway.
00:48:21.000 These people believe that shit.
00:48:23.000 Les Stroud was balls deep in this.
00:48:25.000 Balls deep.
00:48:26.000 Apparently he had an experience.
00:48:28.000 And I talked to him about his experience.
00:48:29.000 It's pretty interesting.
00:48:30.000 He was in, not with that guy, but he was in Alaska.
00:48:35.000 And apparently he heard some crazy noises, like some monkey sounds outside of his, in the middle of nowhere.
00:48:41.000 No one was in there.
00:48:42.000 And he said he heard something run away.
00:48:43.000 Some bipedal sound of something running away.
00:48:47.000 But again, even though he's an experienced woodsman, And he's a guy who's, you know, camped out countless nights in the middle of nowhere and survives in the middle of nowhere and documents it.
00:48:59.000 Like, he's the reason why those Survivor shows exist.
00:49:03.000 Yeah.
00:49:04.000 Because that guy literally would starve to death and try to eat, like, bark and whatever the fuck he could for a second.
00:49:10.000 You could see his face, like, sinking in as he was losing weight.
00:49:13.000 I mean, he really did do that.
00:49:14.000 He did all sorts of different things to try to survive and then documented how he was doing it and what he would do.
00:49:20.000 But he got obsessed with Bigfoot and then developed that Bigfoot show.
00:49:24.000 And unfortunately, a lot of people lost a lot of faith in him because of that.
00:49:28.000 They're like, no, you're the legit survivor guy, and now you're doing this show, and this is why it's ridiculous.
00:49:33.000 There was one episode of the show where they had this guy who he was with who had video of a Sasquatch, like high-definition video, and it looks so fake.
00:49:45.000 It's like the Sasquatch is looking at him through the woods, and he's like, there he is, there he is.
00:49:50.000 It's a guy with a mask on.
00:49:51.000 He yells out, I'm a Sasquatch.
00:49:53.000 He's like, okay, he just yelled that out.
00:49:56.000 Makes the samurai noise.
00:49:58.000 But this, you know, the guy who had the video is known to be like full of shit.
00:50:03.000 And here he's got this guy on a show and then he, you know, is this real?
00:50:08.000 You be the judge.
00:50:09.000 Like, yeah, I'm going to say it's not real.
00:50:11.000 It's a guy with a fucking mask on.
00:50:13.000 I think I did read that that guy was very not respected.
00:50:16.000 Yes.
00:50:17.000 By the Bigfoot community.
00:50:19.000 Yeah.
00:50:20.000 You know?
00:50:20.000 The Bigfoot community.
00:50:22.000 Again, very open-minded.
00:50:24.000 Yeah.
00:50:24.000 He's very just into everything.
00:50:27.000 There's other things, like, they would see trees that would fall over, like, in certain patterns, and they were convinced that Sasquatch was leaning these trees against each other.
00:50:38.000 I thought it was like, yeah, to let you know where not to go.
00:50:42.000 Yeah, they had this idea.
00:50:44.000 I mean, it's all theory, right?
00:50:46.000 Yeah, I think I've been following the wrong guy, dude.
00:50:48.000 I believe all the stuff that he likes is fake.
00:50:50.000 I'm like, yeah.
00:50:52.000 I only watched that Les Stroud run because of that other guy.
00:50:56.000 I want it to be real.
00:50:57.000 That's the thing.
00:50:58.000 I do too.
00:50:59.000 If someone had a convincing Bigfoot encounter where they caught it on video where I was like, holy shit, what is that?
00:51:06.000 Like, what is that?
00:51:07.000 Or there was something.
00:51:08.000 But there's nothing.
00:51:10.000 Like, you know, I've talked to a lot of those people when I did this show.
00:51:15.000 It's called Joe Rogan Questions Everything for sci-fi, and me and Duncan Trussell actually went camping in the Pacific Northwest.
00:51:21.000 We didn't really camp.
00:51:22.000 We pretended to go camping, and then we went to a hotel.
00:51:25.000 And then we came back the next morning like, well, rough night of camping.
00:51:29.000 But we were out there for days trying to look for Sasquatch and talking to people that hunt for Sasquatch.
00:51:35.000 And the one conclusion that we came to is it's a bunch of unfuckable white dudes.
00:51:39.000 Just out there.
00:51:40.000 Just out there camping.
00:51:43.000 But the desire for it to be real is so strong.
00:51:48.000 It would change.
00:51:49.000 I watched that Finding Bigfoot show.
00:51:51.000 I used to always think, because people are like, why is it on?
00:51:53.000 I'm like, I don't know, man, because it's fun to watch.
00:51:56.000 And if they find him, the world is different now.
00:51:59.000 If they come back with Bigfoot, everything's different.
00:52:02.000 Everything's different.
00:52:02.000 Everything's getting different with the alien thing.
00:52:04.000 The fact that they're saying that that's true, you're like, that's a lot, dude.
00:52:09.000 That's a lot to take.
00:52:10.000 If we get...
00:52:11.000 I know that they have the videos and stuff of the aliens, but if we get up straight up and start talking to one, I don't know what's going to happen.
00:52:18.000 Well, here's something that came out today, Jamie.
00:52:21.000 I'm going to send you this, because Sagar and Jetty from Rising on the Hill and I have been going back and forth with this, and I found this today and sent it to him.
00:52:33.000 I'll send it to you right now, Jamie.
00:52:37.000 It says, paradigm-shifting UFO tech that alters space-time is operable U.S. Navy Chief Tech Officer.
00:52:46.000 So it's some story that I didn't bother looking into because I saw it when I was on my way out the door.
00:52:54.000 And I was like, what in the fuck is this?
00:52:56.000 Because there's been all these sightings of these things that move in some weird way.
00:53:01.000 Paradigm shifting UFO tech.
00:53:03.000 So there's these things that move in this weird way that don't show any propulsion system.
00:53:09.000 And due to censorship, please join us on Telegram.
00:53:14.000 I'm going to say, documents obtained by the drive show the revolutionary technology that has capability to alter space-time may actually be operable.
00:53:23.000 According to the Naval Aviation Enterprise Chief Technology Officer, Dr. James, how do you say that name?
00:53:30.000 Sheehy?
00:53:31.000 What do you think?
00:53:31.000 Operable in quotes.
00:53:33.000 What is that?
00:53:33.000 Good question.
00:53:35.000 Reflect on, why is technology that has a potential to change the entire human experience for the better always used for the defense purposes and military applications?
00:53:44.000 What about the betterment of humanity?
00:53:50.000 I don't know.
00:53:52.000 But it's Christopher Mellon, who's that guy who keeps coming up with all this UFO tech stuff.
00:53:58.000 Can you scroll back up, please?
00:53:59.000 Someone's just writing.
00:54:00.000 I was reading through Twitter.
00:54:01.000 It's like a story.
00:54:03.000 It's not really like an article.
00:54:05.000 Right.
00:54:06.000 Twitter feed of Christopher Mellon, the former Deputy Assistant Defense Secretary for Intelligence from 1997 to 2002. Doing so, I came across an interesting post from The Drive.
00:54:15.000 Regarding documents they received via the Freedom of Information Act regarding a space-time modification weapon developed by the U.S. Navy, which apparently has already gone through experimental testing.
00:54:27.000 This in turn led me to evidence suggesting that other revolutionary type of technology that could no doubt be used to change the world for the better, blah, blah, blah, was already operable.
00:54:37.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:54:38.000 But this is what, if you pay attention to the UFO world, do you pay attention to that shit at all?
00:54:43.000 Not, like, actively.
00:54:44.000 There's a guy named Bob Lazar.
00:54:46.000 I do know that from, because you talk to him.
00:54:48.000 Yeah, it was one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had, because you're like, I mean, are you crazy?
00:54:52.000 Are you full of shit?
00:54:53.000 Or is this real?
00:54:54.000 Yeah.
00:54:54.000 Because if it is real, this thing is a special effect created, a guy who is a special effect artist.
00:55:02.000 Do you remember his name, Jamie, who made this thing for us?
00:55:06.000 This gentleman...
00:55:07.000 He's got a...
00:55:09.000 Designs...
00:55:13.000 Designs by Perry.
00:55:15.000 Designs by Perry at Instagram.
00:55:17.000 And he created this thing.
00:55:19.000 And this is like a scale model of what Bob Lazar supposedly worked on.
00:55:26.000 He was hired by...
00:55:28.000 The United States military to work at Area S4, which is part of the Area 51 Site S4. Site 4 was this place where he allegedly worked to back engineer these spaceships.
00:55:45.000 And the way these things moved around was exactly how this Christopher Mellon guy worked.
00:55:50.000 Or this article, rather, that quoted him as describing that they used some sort of gravity, space-time bending technology.
00:55:58.000 So they didn't use a propulsion system like a rocket that shoots flame out the back.
00:56:02.000 They bent time in front of them and just would shoot instantaneously to wherever the fuck they wanted to go.
00:56:08.000 So you'd be like instantly be able to go...
00:56:10.000 Instantly.
00:56:11.000 What's fucked is that there was an instance off of the coast of San Diego in 2004 where a Navy pilot by the name of Commander David Fravor, who I've also had on the show, experienced this thing that they call the Tic Tac UFO. They tracked it with radar.
00:56:30.000 They tracked it with their...
00:56:40.000 Wow.
00:56:45.000 Wow.
00:56:48.000 So in that time, it traveled 80,000 feet.
00:56:52.000 They have no idea how the fuck it did that.
00:56:54.000 It shows no propulsion, heat signature.
00:56:57.000 They took video footage of this thing and it went from there.
00:57:00.000 It took off where they couldn't even follow it with their eye.
00:57:03.000 It just disappeared to the predetermined destination where they were supposed to coordinate later.
00:57:08.000 So it's like it's reading their tracking systems or reading where they were going.
00:57:13.000 And the people that worked on the aircraft carrier were telling the fighter pilot, like, we've been seeing these things over, you know, we see them, like, every couple weeks.
00:57:21.000 We have no idea what the fuck's going on.
00:57:23.000 And they just say, well, there it is.
00:57:25.000 What are we going to do about that?
00:57:27.000 Yeah.
00:57:28.000 I like to picture, like, an alien in that Tic Tac.
00:57:31.000 He's like, whoa, slow it down.
00:57:32.000 You're kind of crazy right now.
00:57:33.000 Like, he's having a bad day in there.
00:57:35.000 Because he's got to be having just a day.
00:57:37.000 Whoever's in there, some kind of day, may be having a day.
00:57:41.000 It's a lot to...
00:57:43.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:57:43.000 You think it's like a lot to just tell people?
00:57:45.000 Like if they had to be like, to tell like just Earth, all of us humans on Earth, to like wrap our head around what would happen?
00:57:53.000 I think what do you say if that's all you know?
00:57:56.000 Like if you are the military and all you know is that something can do these things, something can move at this speed.
00:58:03.000 You know, the New York Times had a front page article about it a couple years ago.
00:58:06.000 Yeah.
00:58:07.000 Basically, they're saying, hey, there are videos of things moving in a way that we don't understand, that aren't exhibiting a heat signature that indicates a propulsion system, and we don't know what it is.
00:58:23.000 There's the COVID-19 bill that just got passed, and one of the provisions in the COVID-19 bill is that they have 180 days to release all the information they have about UFOs.
00:58:39.000 But I don't know if they're going to do anything.
00:58:41.000 I think they're going to do nothing.
00:58:42.000 That's funny that it's in the COVID-19 bill.
00:58:44.000 A lot of weird shit was in the COVID-19 bill, like foreign aid.
00:58:49.000 There's a lot of foreign aid to Pakistan, aid to all these countries.
00:58:52.000 It's like people just, to get it passed, they're like, okay, we'll say yes, but I want you to do a little favor for me and put this in the bill.
00:59:00.000 It just shows you how greasy politicians are.
00:59:03.000 Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
00:59:24.000 Yeah.
00:59:24.000 Yeah.
00:59:24.000 That instead of it being alien technology, it's some super high-level military tests and they've figured out how to do some things that we don't understand yet.
00:59:34.000 The question is, how did they develop this stuff?
00:59:36.000 Did they develop it from UFOs?
00:59:38.000 Or is the UFO thing the cover-up because they have some super high-tech weapon and they don't want other countries to know about it?
00:59:46.000 So to mock it, they'll say it's like alien technology to make it seem ridiculous.
00:59:51.000 If we traveled like that, that'd be huge for road comics, just to go bounce around.
00:59:56.000 Instantly.
00:59:57.000 Instantly.
00:59:58.000 No jet lag.
00:59:59.000 Did you use that technology just to be like, where'd you go, Funny Bone?
01:00:03.000 Boom, you're in Denver.
01:00:04.000 Hey, Denver Comedy Works.
01:00:06.000 I was just featuring.
01:00:08.000 Boom, you're in Poughkeepsie.
01:00:09.000 Look, I'm at bananas.
01:00:11.000 I like to use that much technology, which you do that even flying, for just the least amount of comics just doing dumb jokes.
01:00:19.000 People died over this technology, and you're like, I just told some fart jokes on stage.
01:00:25.000 Well, what if they found out that some people died from it?
01:00:28.000 Just like they think that some people die from vaccines.
01:00:31.000 But it's a very small number in comparison to people that it's going to help.
01:00:35.000 What if some people died when they did this jump to some other place?
01:00:41.000 Some people just melted.
01:00:42.000 And they're like, hey, what happened to Tom?
01:00:44.000 Oh, he's got that gene variant.
01:00:46.000 Yeah.
01:00:46.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:47.000 Tom's a puddle.
01:00:47.000 Yeah.
01:00:48.000 Well, I would imagine people died.
01:00:50.000 They'd just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:52.000 We've never done this before, dude.
01:00:54.000 Could be.
01:00:55.000 Yeah, I mean, maybe that's...
01:00:58.000 A monkey.
01:00:59.000 Don't they use monkeys a lot?
01:01:00.000 They used to, yeah, for space travel.
01:01:03.000 Do they just have them around?
01:01:04.000 Well, unfortunately, yes.
01:01:06.000 They have them for medical research.
01:01:09.000 They have them for all sorts of shit.
01:01:11.000 Yeah, not good.
01:01:12.000 It's not good.
01:01:13.000 It's tough being a monkey.
01:01:14.000 Tough times.
01:01:15.000 They experiment with makeup on monkeys.
01:01:18.000 Yeah.
01:01:18.000 Put lipstick on a monkey.
01:01:20.000 Imagine the indignity.
01:01:21.000 You're in a cage.
01:01:23.000 You're locked up.
01:01:24.000 You just lose all your power.
01:01:26.000 You're kind of smart.
01:01:27.000 You're not like people smart, but you're close.
01:01:29.000 You got hands, and you're holding on to the bars.
01:01:32.000 Dude, I remember I went to a zoo once.
01:01:34.000 I can't remember what city it was in, but I remember I was with my kids, and we walked by this monkey cage, and this monkey was...
01:01:40.000 By itself, in a small cage, screaming.
01:01:43.000 Like a crazy person.
01:01:45.000 Like a person trapped.
01:01:50.000 And I remember thinking, oh my god, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life.
01:01:54.000 Like, this poor monkey wants to be in the jungle, wants to be swinging around on trees and eating fruit and having a good time with his monkey friends.
01:02:01.000 Instead, he's alone in a cage being stared at by people all day long, just stared, stared at.
01:02:08.000 And then you're like, then we took a picture and we got out of there.
01:02:10.000 We go, all right, everybody get over it.
01:02:12.000 Yeah.
01:02:13.000 You still do it because you're like, well, I'm here.
01:02:15.000 What am I going to do?
01:02:16.000 What am I going to do?
01:02:17.000 I don't know, but you want to believe that these zoos are...
01:02:24.000 A lot of times it's animals that are hurt or can't, that wouldn't survive.
01:02:28.000 I mean, they tell you that.
01:02:29.000 So you want to believe that, that you're not going to some crazy...
01:02:35.000 I don't know, man.
01:02:36.000 You know, I think there's some endangered species that are kept in zoos and, you know, they can protect their numbers in a certain way in zoos.
01:02:45.000 There's probably a better way to do it, though.
01:02:47.000 There's probably a better way to do it.
01:02:49.000 They would need a lot of land.
01:02:51.000 Pacific Northwest.
01:02:53.000 Let the gorillas loose.
01:02:55.000 Let them go, yeah.
01:02:56.000 I think, you know...
01:02:59.000 It's weird when...
01:03:01.000 One of the things that's weird, and this is a pragmatic way of looking at it, but kind of a fucked up way of looking at it, is most species that have ever lived have gone extinct.
01:03:10.000 Yeah.
01:03:11.000 If they can stop things from going extinct, what if the next step is bringing things back?
01:03:16.000 Well, if they can bring things back, what if they just start bringing back shit?
01:03:19.000 Like a bunch of things.
01:03:20.000 Like a raptor.
01:03:21.000 Sabretooth tiger.
01:03:22.000 Yeah, saber-tooth tiger.
01:03:23.000 Start bringing shit back.
01:03:23.000 Why not?
01:03:24.000 People would be excited, for sure.
01:03:26.000 But then what are we doing?
01:03:27.000 If we're just going to keep...
01:03:29.000 I'm not saying we should let things go extinct, and I'm definitely not saying we should allow human beings' actions to make things go extinct and do nothing to prevent it.
01:03:38.000 But I am saying it is...
01:03:41.000 There's an inevitability of life.
01:03:44.000 And I don't think we want to accept that because I think human beings, because we have a finite lifespan, we have a finite life, we know it's going to end.
01:03:54.000 We are fearful of that.
01:03:57.000 We're fearful of animals dying as well.
01:03:59.000 Fearful of losing animals.
01:04:02.000 We can't stop all things from going extinct because things went extinct way before people were ever around.
01:04:07.000 Yeah.
01:04:08.000 They just don't work right in the new environment.
01:04:10.000 And the environment changes and evolves.
01:04:12.000 That's probably a good thing.
01:04:13.000 T-Rex not being here, that's a big deal.
01:04:17.000 It's a lot easier to do things.
01:04:19.000 What about one of them?
01:04:20.000 Just one of them on Jurassic Park?
01:04:22.000 That we just leave?
01:04:22.000 They have one.
01:04:24.000 They go, we let him loose in America, so y'all just deal with that every day.
01:04:28.000 You just don't know where he's at.
01:04:30.000 They go, all right, we brought one back.
01:04:33.000 Did you guys check the app before we went on vacation to see where Godzilla is?
01:04:36.000 Yeah, where is he at?
01:04:38.000 There's a place you can drive from Louisville, Kentucky to Nashville when you're driving down 65. And they have a life-size Stranosaurus Rex on the side of the road.
01:04:52.000 But I always like seeing it because you're always like, how big was it?
01:04:54.000 Like when you walk around...
01:04:56.000 You want to see a tree to be like, can you imagine that tree just being...
01:05:01.000 It was like a giant lizard that would just eat your car.
01:05:06.000 Have you been in a museum of natural history and looked at those giant skeletons?
01:05:12.000 Yes.
01:05:13.000 It's enormous.
01:05:15.000 I think it's hard to imagine because you're seeing a skeleton...
01:05:18.000 It's sort of this framework of what a thing is.
01:05:21.000 I kind of get it.
01:05:23.000 But if they had one that they did up, like special effects style, and made it really look like a T-Rex.
01:05:30.000 They don't really know what a T-Rex actually looks like.
01:05:33.000 They think they might have feathers.
01:05:34.000 Do you know that?
01:05:35.000 No, I bet they wouldn't appreciate it though.
01:05:38.000 The T-Rex.
01:05:40.000 They think that a lot of dinosaurs were, in fact, in the bird family.
01:05:45.000 You know, because a lot of birds today, they exhibit a lot of the things, a lot of characteristics that dinosaurs had.
01:05:52.000 They think that a lot of...
01:05:53.000 That's a lot.
01:05:54.000 That's more than I've ever heard.
01:05:55.000 Really?
01:05:56.000 I don't know how much I've talked about dinosaurs, to be honest.
01:06:00.000 I don't know how many conversations I've been in, but that's never been sprung on me.
01:06:04.000 One of my kids, my youngest daughter, is obsessed with dinosaurs.
01:06:07.000 She knows a lot about them.
01:06:08.000 She knows a lot about weird shit.
01:06:12.000 That's what birds are.
01:06:14.000 Birds are basically dinosaurs that lived.
01:06:16.000 Like chickens.
01:06:17.000 Yeah.
01:06:18.000 Chickens are like survival.
01:06:20.000 They've even found really recently some fossils that show feathers because up until now it was a theory.
01:06:26.000 But then they found dinosaur fossils with fossilized feathers that indicate this dinosaur was like a bird that was covered in feathers.
01:06:35.000 That's crazy.
01:06:35.000 Yeah.
01:06:36.000 I had no idea that any of that was true.
01:06:40.000 Yeah.
01:06:42.000 There's a life-size version of a raptor that's in a museum in Bozeman, Montana.
01:06:49.000 And on one side, it shows what it would look like if it was a lizard, like a crocodile or something.
01:06:55.000 On the other side, it shows it covered in feathers, and it goes over this theory that they might have had feathers, that they might have been...
01:07:03.000 I love that they have both those up there.
01:07:05.000 It's like being like, we don't know for sure, but it's probably one of those two.
01:07:08.000 It's pretty dope.
01:07:09.000 See if you can find that.
01:07:10.000 You got it?
01:07:11.000 Yeah, it's pretty dope.
01:07:13.000 Why not?
01:07:14.000 Why wouldn't they have feathers?
01:07:15.000 There it is.
01:07:16.000 That's what they think it might have looked like.
01:07:17.000 Okay, yeah.
01:07:18.000 But on the other side, they'll show it...
01:07:21.000 Does it show the other side too?
01:07:22.000 Yeah, but there's a high school there.
01:07:26.000 Their team name is the Raptors, so I'm looking it up.
01:07:28.000 Oh, yeah, in Montana.
01:07:30.000 Yeah, so that's it.
01:07:32.000 That's the thing.
01:07:33.000 Yeah.
01:07:35.000 So one side of it...
01:07:36.000 I think I'm right.
01:07:37.000 I think one side of it was...
01:07:38.000 We've definitely looked it up before.
01:07:40.000 That's why it came up so quick.
01:07:41.000 Most I know is from Jurassic Park.
01:07:44.000 That's it?
01:07:45.000 That's all you know about dinosaurs?
01:07:46.000 Yeah, they showed that movie in class and then they go, alright, that's good.
01:07:49.000 They called it a day.
01:07:51.000 There it is.
01:07:51.000 How much stupid shit do you pay attention to?
01:07:54.000 Do you watch stupid movies?
01:07:55.000 Like, are you going to watch King Kong vs.
01:07:57.000 Godzilla?
01:07:58.000 I can watch some of that, yeah.
01:08:01.000 I've never been the craziest superhero fan or that kind of stuff, but I can definitely, if it catches me right, I'll be like, I'll see what's going on with this.
01:08:10.000 Why not?
01:08:11.000 You'll see what's happening.
01:08:13.000 Were you a comic book fan when you were a kid?
01:08:15.000 No.
01:08:18.000 I'm a big sports fan.
01:08:20.000 I like sports.
01:08:21.000 Stuff like that.
01:08:22.000 I watch golf.
01:08:23.000 We were talking about that earlier.
01:08:25.000 UFC I've got into.
01:08:26.000 I think UFC... As a regular guy that watched sports...
01:08:31.000 UFC does, right now, I think, the best job of getting me.
01:08:35.000 Getting the me's of the world.
01:08:37.000 I know football, baseball, basketball, golf.
01:08:41.000 I know kind of the main ones.
01:08:43.000 I think UFC is doing the greatest job in all of sports to attract me.
01:08:49.000 I would think I'm an average American.
01:08:54.000 How they've done that?
01:08:56.000 You guys talking about how good people are is big.
01:09:01.000 Once I found out that Jon Jones...
01:09:03.000 I love once-in-a-lifetime athletes.
01:09:06.000 When you get a LeBron, Michael Jordan, you get these things and you're like, we're lucky to even get to see a guy like this.
01:09:11.000 And I see that Jon Jones is that.
01:09:14.000 And I hear about Jon Jones being that.
01:09:18.000 George's GSP, I never saw GSP. I saw him fight Bisping, was the only fight.
01:09:24.000 And I know that he's the greatest, but UFC wasn't in my world.
01:09:28.000 Back then.
01:09:28.000 Back then.
01:09:29.000 When he was a champ.
01:09:30.000 Yeah.
01:09:30.000 And so I go John Jones.
01:09:33.000 I think Conor McGregor's probably, you know, in a sense of like this kind of Tiger Woods of just getting people excited about this sport.
01:09:40.000 That you're like, well, I love this dude.
01:09:41.000 This dude's crazy.
01:09:42.000 Which then introduced me to Khabib.
01:09:45.000 So then I see Khabib, and now I'm fascinated by Khabib because you're like, oh, him and Jon Jones are these once-in-a-lifetime kind of guys.
01:09:54.000 And so I love that, so I want to watch these ones.
01:09:58.000 I want to watch because I'm like, these guys are not normal.
01:10:02.000 And so we should be, I should be seeing these, and I think UFC does that.
01:10:06.000 I understand Usman, when he said, like, show some respect to my name, I get it, because me, I almost didn't, I watched the fight, but I almost didn't.
01:10:15.000 If I had something come up, I might not have watched it.
01:10:19.000 Because Usman's not...
01:10:20.000 I didn't know completely.
01:10:22.000 And then after I watched it and I hear y'all talk about him and you explain how good this guy really is, I'm like, oh, I'll never miss another fight of him now.
01:10:30.000 Because we don't know anything about the sport, really.
01:10:34.000 So when you're telling me, like, hey, you're lucky to be, you know, in a sense, but we're lucky to be watching these guys.
01:10:40.000 This is not normal.
01:10:42.000 Right.
01:10:43.000 John Jones was when he fought Daniel Cormier.
01:10:46.000 Like, I didn't know really...
01:10:47.000 Cormier, right?
01:10:49.000 And I didn't really know him.
01:10:50.000 So I see John Jones beat him.
01:10:52.000 And then I'm like, okay.
01:10:53.000 And then Daniel Cormier fights Stipe Miocic.
01:10:57.000 The one he beat, and he destroyed him.
01:10:59.000 And then I go, oh, that's how good John Jones is?
01:11:01.000 Like, I'm like...
01:11:02.000 Because, you know, John Jones looks so dominant.
01:11:04.000 Yeah.
01:11:05.000 And then I see Daniel, and you're like, oh, Daniel's like one of the greatest.
01:11:08.000 Yeah.
01:11:08.000 And then you're like, oh, that guy's even...
01:11:10.000 Like, putting these...
01:11:12.000 Pieces together is huge.
01:11:14.000 Yeah, champions that beat champions.
01:11:16.000 And when that gets explained, I think UFC is doing the best job of explaining that kind of thing.
01:11:23.000 The press conferences, I'll watch every Dana White press conference.
01:11:28.000 No one talks like that, dude.
01:11:29.000 I watch all these sports.
01:11:31.000 It's the same answers.
01:11:33.000 Is Tom Brady going to retire?
01:11:36.000 I don't know.
01:11:37.000 Maybe he's not.
01:11:38.000 It's the same who cares answer.
01:11:40.000 It's pointless.
01:11:42.000 Dana White, after the Conor fight, they're like, did you talk to Khabib?
01:11:46.000 He's like, yeah, I just called him.
01:11:47.000 Khabib said, none of these people are on my level.
01:11:49.000 You're like, I've never heard a president tell me what the guy said.
01:11:54.000 Right.
01:11:54.000 That's the answer you want to know.
01:11:57.000 And Dana just tells you.
01:12:00.000 He'll be like, I'm about to go have dinner with him.
01:12:01.000 You're like, I don't think I should.
01:12:02.000 I've never heard the owner of the Cowboys tell me that.
01:12:05.000 He never told me I'm about to go talk to this guy.
01:12:08.000 No, Dana White, he's like one of those guys that has fuck you money and actually says fuck you.
01:12:13.000 Yeah.
01:12:14.000 It's a rare person.
01:12:15.000 That shows.
01:12:16.000 Yeah.
01:12:16.000 And so I got my friends now and I'm like, hey, we gotta watch this.
01:12:21.000 Now I know more.
01:12:23.000 He fits the sport.
01:12:24.000 Fits the sport perfectly.
01:12:26.000 Because the sport's just a wild sport and he's a wild president.
01:12:29.000 Yeah.
01:12:30.000 As far as someone who's in control of a gigantic sports organization, the way he talks and how much he swears.
01:12:35.000 It's not normal.
01:12:37.000 No, they don't.
01:12:38.000 I mean, yeah, how much like...
01:12:39.000 But that's what makes it good.
01:12:40.000 You can't have like politically correct people running a cage fighting organization.
01:12:45.000 It's just like too ridiculous.
01:12:46.000 They don't make sense together.
01:12:48.000 It doesn't.
01:12:49.000 Usman is actually fighting Jorge Masvidal in a full arena next month, which is fucking crazy.
01:12:56.000 So I might have to cancel shows in May, folks.
01:12:59.000 I might get the cooties.
01:13:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:13:02.000 This might be the time.
01:13:03.000 This might be the time.
01:13:04.000 I'm going to fill up with vitamins and God knows what else.
01:13:07.000 Full audience.
01:13:07.000 Yeah, 15,000 people.
01:13:10.000 I mean, and to see them, they just fought, but he filled in for him, right?
01:13:13.000 Well, what happened was a short notice fight where Masvidal took the fight on six days notice, and everyone says that Usman dominated him.
01:13:25.000 Which he definitely won.
01:13:27.000 Usman definitely won the fight.
01:13:28.000 There's no question.
01:13:29.000 But Masvidal had some moments in that fight.
01:13:32.000 Particularly standing up.
01:13:33.000 Where he caught Usman with some good shots.
01:13:35.000 At the very beginning, right?
01:13:36.000 Where it looked like he was in trouble.
01:13:38.000 He definitely had his moments.
01:13:41.000 And when you consider the fact that the guy didn't have any time to prepare.
01:13:44.000 Like, no time.
01:13:45.000 Six days notice to take the fight.
01:13:48.000 It would be a curious fight to see as a rematch.
01:13:52.000 However...
01:13:53.000 There's a lot of other people in the division that are also elite.
01:13:56.000 And then there's the conversations like, are they having this because it's the most marketable fight?
01:14:01.000 Are they having this because they think he deserves it after he took the fight on short notice?
01:14:06.000 There's a lot of good arguments in that way.
01:14:08.000 Like, hey, a guy puts on a very good performance with six days notice.
01:14:11.000 How's he going to do with six weeks or eight weeks?
01:14:13.000 How's he going to do with a real camp?
01:14:15.000 I don't know how much time he's even had to prepare.
01:14:17.000 I don't know if he's had six weeks.
01:14:19.000 I mean, from now to the fight is what?
01:14:21.000 Five weeks?
01:14:23.000 How many weeks is it from now until that UFC card?
01:14:27.000 The big one in Florida.
01:14:29.000 Are the camps, like, is it that crazy when he has to go fight when Usman just has to change and go fight another guy?
01:14:37.000 Because you're preparing for his style?
01:14:38.000 Is that what you're preparing for?
01:14:39.000 Like, hey, this dude likes to punch.
01:14:41.000 You also need recovery time.
01:14:43.000 He just had a...
01:14:45.000 Well, it was a quick knockout.
01:14:47.000 It was a second-round knockout with Gilbert Burns.
01:14:49.000 But he did have some moments in the first round where he got cracked and he got dropped.
01:14:53.000 And then he also did go through a long training camp.
01:14:57.000 And when you go through long training camps, there's always injuries.
01:15:00.000 Guys tweak their neck or they fuck their knee up or their ankle gets rolled.
01:15:04.000 There's always something.
01:15:05.000 And you don't know about that.
01:15:07.000 Like, for instance...
01:15:08.000 When Usman fought Masvidal the first time, he had a broken nose going into the fight.
01:15:13.000 So his nose was broken in the fight.
01:15:17.000 He broke it two weeks before the fight.
01:15:19.000 So he had a broken nose to start with.
01:15:21.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
01:15:22.000 And they don't check?
01:15:24.000 They don't check.
01:15:26.000 If he wants to fight, it's like that's his...
01:15:29.000 I mean, the only way to check a broken nose is to get an x-ray.
01:15:31.000 When you look at his nose, his nose looks fine.
01:15:33.000 He's got a crack in it.
01:15:34.000 Yeah.
01:15:35.000 How are you going to know?
01:15:36.000 You're not going to know.
01:15:37.000 So after the fight, they go, hey, you got a broken nose.
01:15:39.000 I'm like, yeah, I had that already.
01:15:41.000 Yeah.
01:15:42.000 It's like underlining conditioning.
01:15:43.000 But also, you know, and he got hit a lot in that fight because Masvidal can crack.
01:15:48.000 And Masvidal's a really good striker.
01:15:50.000 He's very clever.
01:15:51.000 But Usman is that high level.
01:15:54.000 Oh, yeah.
01:15:54.000 Yeah, like it's like...
01:15:55.000 He's lost once his whole career, never lost the UFC, and literally...
01:16:00.000 Maybe he's only lost one or two rounds ever in his career.
01:16:05.000 I mean, you could make the argument that maybe he lost the first round of the Gilbert Burns fight, but towards the end of that first round, he was kind of beating Burns up when Burns was on the ground, but he did get dropped with some big punches, but then he wound up enforcing his will and pushing his will onto Gilbert.
01:16:23.000 So you could make an argument that maybe Gilbert might have squeaked that round by, but maybe not.
01:16:28.000 But then the second round, he smashes him.
01:16:30.000 He's a monster.
01:16:31.000 He's so physically strong.
01:16:33.000 His mind is so strong.
01:16:35.000 That guy's knees are so fucked up, man.
01:16:38.000 They're so fucked up he can't run.
01:16:40.000 He has to do all kinds of different forms of cardio because his knees were so mangled.
01:16:45.000 He told me that when he would walk after training, he wouldn't walk on the sidewalk.
01:16:50.000 He'd have to walk on the grass because it hurt his knees to walk on the sidewalk.
01:16:53.000 That's crazy.
01:16:54.000 That's crazy.
01:16:55.000 But he gets in there, you don't notice it.
01:16:57.000 I've never even heard that.
01:16:59.000 His idea is, listen, I'm just going to wear these motherfuckers out while I'm the champ, and then I'll get my knees replaced when I get older.
01:17:05.000 Well, that's when I looked up who he would fight next, because then you look, you know, it's hard to sometimes even tell if they're weight classes, because sometimes you see a guy, you're like, what's this guy, like 190?
01:17:16.000 Like 120 pounds.
01:17:17.000 You're like, oh, he's just jacked.
01:17:19.000 He's on TV, so I don't know.
01:17:21.000 Because I didn't realize Israel, Stylebender, he's pretty tall.
01:17:26.000 I didn't realize how big he was.
01:17:27.000 And you're like, oh, he's a pretty big dude.
01:17:30.000 But they're in that weight class.
01:17:32.000 But Khabib and Usman, they can never fight.
01:17:35.000 They're too far.
01:17:36.000 I think he said he wouldn't fight him.
01:17:38.000 Well, Khabib is 170, Usman is 155, Usman is 170. Khabib could fight at 170 if he wanted to.
01:17:47.000 He just wouldn't cut as much weight.
01:17:49.000 He's not the same size as Usman, but he absolutely could compete at 170 if he wanted to.
01:17:55.000 But he's done.
01:17:56.000 He's retiring.
01:17:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:17:58.000 His father died.
01:18:00.000 His father got COVID and died, and he made a promise to his mother that he would stop fighting after this last fight.
01:18:07.000 So he beat Justin Gaethje, defended his title, 29-0, and he's like, that's it, I'm done.
01:18:12.000 And the UFC's been trying to talk him into fighting again, but so far...
01:18:17.000 He would have to see a reason to come back.
01:18:19.000 Yeah.
01:18:19.000 I mean, he's a simple living guy.
01:18:22.000 I mean, he's a complex person, but he drives a Toyota truck.
01:18:27.000 Yeah.
01:18:28.000 Millionaire.
01:18:28.000 Multi-millionaire.
01:18:29.000 He drives a fucking regular car, lives in the same house he's lived in forever.
01:18:33.000 He's very religious.
01:18:35.000 Yeah.
01:18:35.000 Devout Muslim.
01:18:36.000 So he doesn't have any need for wealth or riches, and he's beloved in his country.
01:18:42.000 I mean, he's a hero.
01:18:43.000 Yeah.
01:18:43.000 Why not?
01:18:43.000 I would imagine.
01:18:44.000 Why not go out on top?
01:18:45.000 And also, why not go out with all your faculties intact, millions of dollars in the bank?
01:18:50.000 That's the dream.
01:18:50.000 The dream of every fighter is to go out, an undefeated champion, with millions of dollars in the bank, at the top of your game, in your prime, not when your skills are starting to deteriorate, not when you're taking too many shots, but go out on top.
01:19:04.000 And that's what he's decided to do.
01:19:05.000 And I salute that.
01:19:06.000 I think it's awesome.
01:19:07.000 I would love to see him fight again, just because I'm a fan, because he's a monster.
01:19:11.000 But I also, I love the fact that he decided not to.
01:19:15.000 He's so, yeah, he's so, like, I've enjoyed, when I found out about him to really get to watch him, just because it was like, oh, this guy, I'm watching Michael Jordan.
01:19:25.000 Yeah.
01:19:25.000 And so, like, I like, you know, then you start getting really into it.
01:19:28.000 And then, I mean, with Justin Gaethje was kind of, I was like, oh, Justin Gaethje looked so good against Tony Ferguson.
01:19:33.000 Mm-hmm.
01:19:34.000 I don't know the name of fighting, but I'm like, he looks crazy.
01:19:37.000 This is going to be crazy.
01:19:38.000 And then it's just really not.
01:19:40.000 Because Khabib is unreal.
01:19:42.000 He's unreal.
01:19:43.000 He mauls people.
01:19:45.000 I think women division too, that's another thing.
01:19:49.000 UFC is basically the only sport I'm really watching excited for women fights.
01:19:56.000 These big names.
01:19:58.000 And UFC does an amazing job At that.
01:20:01.000 And I always think that's pretty crazy to be like...
01:20:04.000 You're just not used to that as a sports fan.
01:20:07.000 You know, the WNBA or something.
01:20:09.000 Not that you don't like these sports, but you just don't tend to watch them.
01:20:13.000 Don't get pumped up about professional women's sports.
01:20:16.000 And I bought Ronda Rousey.
01:20:18.000 I mean, Ronda Rousey was a big kind of...
01:20:20.000 Well, she was the one who made it.
01:20:21.000 She made it big.
01:20:23.000 And before her, Gina Carano, who got in trouble.
01:20:27.000 Oh, yeah.
01:20:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:20:29.000 Oh, that's where she came.
01:20:30.000 Oh, yeah.
01:20:30.000 That's where she came from.
01:20:31.000 That whole fucking ridiculous shit.
01:20:33.000 Yeah.
01:20:34.000 Mandalorian.
01:20:35.000 It's crazy.
01:20:37.000 Claressa Shields is the, obviously, if you do fall boxing, most people fall boxing know who she is.
01:20:45.000 But she's the only one in that boxing world.
01:20:49.000 And she's a multiple-time world champion.
01:20:52.000 She's won in multiple divisions.
01:20:54.000 She won the gold medal in the 2012 and then again in the 2016 Olympics.
01:21:00.000 And now she's an undefeated professional boxer.
01:21:04.000 The Elite of the Elite, she's going to fight in MMA now.
01:21:07.000 She's doing both for a while, and she's going to fight in June in her first MMA fight.
01:21:13.000 There's an organization called the PFL. And she was on here yesterday, and that's one of the things that Clarissa was talking about was that...
01:21:20.000 In boxing, they don't really promote women's fights, other than really hers is the only one.
01:21:25.000 And she feels that's underpromoted.
01:21:27.000 But that's why women's boxing just doesn't have the same value as women's MMA. Because women in MMA, they make great money, and there's big stars.
01:21:36.000 Big stars.
01:21:37.000 Yeah, it's huge.
01:21:39.000 Holly Holmes, I'd watch all her fights after that, like after the Ronda Rousey thing.
01:21:43.000 Amanda Nunes is a huge star.
01:21:45.000 Is she, though, Amanda Nunez, is no one can beat her?
01:21:48.000 She's a destroyer.
01:21:49.000 Yeah.
01:21:50.000 She's a destroyer.
01:21:51.000 I mean, it's not that no one can beat her, because she has lost in the past.
01:21:55.000 I mean, Kat Zingano stopped her in a UFC fight, but she fucked Kat up so bad that Kat was having hormone imbalances after the fight.
01:22:04.000 That's crazy.
01:22:05.000 Had brain damage after the fight and had to go and have this magnetic treatment on her brain that they do to soldiers after they get blown up.
01:22:12.000 Wild shit, man.
01:22:13.000 That's how hard she hits.
01:22:14.000 The first round, she had Kat in all sorts of trouble, but Kat survived, then went on to stop her.
01:22:19.000 It was a wild fight.
01:22:20.000 I'll never forget it.
01:22:22.000 I'll never forget the end of the fight.
01:22:24.000 Kat, after she stopped the fight, after the referee stopped the fight, she screamed.
01:22:31.000 But it was like...
01:22:35.000 Like, from her DNA. It was, like, primal.
01:22:37.000 Yeah.
01:22:38.000 It was, like, one of the most bone-chilling screams I've ever heard a woman fight.
01:22:43.000 And Kat Zangano is fierce.
01:22:44.000 She's always been fierce.
01:22:46.000 But to hear her scream like that was like, whoa, to this day, I'll listen to that and go, god.
01:22:51.000 Just imagine where she was in the brink of defeat, taking all sorts of crazy punishment from the biggest striker in terms of, like, knockout power in Bantamweight history.
01:23:03.000 That's Amanda Nunes.
01:23:04.000 I mean, she starches women.
01:23:05.000 And this...
01:23:07.000 Here, play this.
01:23:07.000 You can hear this.
01:23:09.000 No!
01:23:12.000 No!
01:23:16.000 Dude.
01:23:17.000 That's crazy.
01:23:18.000 That's not fake.
01:23:19.000 That's from her DNA, you know?
01:23:21.000 Yeah.
01:23:22.000 That was primal.
01:23:23.000 Well, it's like they're in their own...
01:23:25.000 Oh, my God.
01:23:25.000 She wouldn't even remember that whole experience.
01:23:28.000 You would not even know what's going on.
01:23:29.000 Probably not.
01:23:30.000 Yeah.
01:23:30.000 It was a wild fight.
01:23:32.000 Did you get into UFC or that kind of fighting?
01:23:35.000 Was it around where you could watch it?
01:23:38.000 I know Horace Gracie.
01:23:39.000 I kind of remember hearing about that when I was a kid, I guess.
01:23:43.000 The first one I saw was in 90...
01:23:46.000 Three or four.
01:23:47.000 I saw it after the first event had aired, and I'm pretty sure I watched the second one.
01:23:55.000 I heard about it, but I didn't see it live.
01:23:57.000 And then I saw the second one.
01:23:58.000 I'm 99% sure I got it from a video store.
01:24:03.000 Like, they had it for rent at a video store.
01:24:06.000 It was UFC 2. Because I don't believe they had the rights to have UFC 1 back then.
01:24:10.000 I think you can only get UFC 2 on video.
01:24:14.000 And I remember watching it and watching this fairly slim Brazilian guy just strangle all these people.
01:24:22.000 And I remember thinking, holy shit, I gotta learn that!
01:24:26.000 It was what everybody always wanted from martial arts.
01:24:30.000 Everybody always wanted the really talented small guy to be able to beat the much bigger, stronger guy.
01:24:37.000 But the reality of striking is that that doesn't really exist very often.
01:24:43.000 Most of the time, bigger, stronger people fuck up smaller, better people.
01:24:48.000 That's why the weight classes are so important.
01:24:51.000 Yes.
01:24:51.000 Because they're at such a high level that if I hit you, it's going to hurt way worse.
01:24:59.000 Yeah.
01:25:00.000 Just bone structure.
01:25:01.000 That's just an insurmountable obstacle.
01:25:04.000 It doesn't mean that a smaller person that's super talented can't beat a bigger person that's stronger and faster but not as talented.
01:25:12.000 It is possible, even with strikers.
01:25:15.000 But most of the time it's too dangerous.
01:25:18.000 You'll never see a welterweight champion fight the heavyweight champion.
01:25:23.000 You just won't see it.
01:25:25.000 Even if you get an elite Terrence Crawford, super top of the food chain, lighterweight champion, he's not going to fight Deontay Wilder.
01:25:33.000 It's just too dangerous.
01:25:35.000 They're too big.
01:25:36.000 But in the UFC, that's exactly what happened.
01:25:38.000 You saw this 175-pound guy who is not intimidating physically.
01:25:43.000 He looks like an athlete, but he's not big and jacked.
01:25:46.000 And he was arm-barring these guys that were 100 pounds more than him.
01:25:50.000 It was crazy.
01:25:51.000 And to watch that, it was like this was what everybody always wanted from martial arts.
01:25:56.000 They wanted technique and skill to overcome all of these advantages that someone would have in size and power.
01:26:03.000 It was like, I would ask, so I started too with Luis J. Gomez, and so Luis was a big reason too, Luis and Dave with MMA, because they were such big fans of it.
01:26:13.000 So like back in New York, they would always talk about it.
01:26:16.000 And too, that was a big part of it, like kind of hearing about it and being like, what's going on?
01:26:20.000 But I remember talking to Bisping with Luis once.
01:26:23.000 I was always fascinated too with the confidence that they can walk around with.
01:26:27.000 Like, no one really knows, like, the confidence that, like, we asked Bisping, you're like, you're just never scared of anybody.
01:26:33.000 Like, nobody's, when you walk around, I'm not in the, you don't want to, not that he wants to fight anybody, but you don't have, if I walk around and there's a bigger guy near me, you're just like, if that guy wanted to fight, like, hit me, like, he just can.
01:26:46.000 Yeah.
01:26:47.000 And so Bisping, I was like, you just don't ever feel that?
01:26:51.000 He's like, no, I don't know.
01:26:53.000 And he just walks around, dude.
01:26:55.000 And we're like, could you kill someone?
01:26:56.000 He's like, yeah, you know.
01:26:58.000 And we're like, how long?
01:26:59.000 And I think he was like, having 10 seconds or something like that.
01:27:02.000 You're just like, jeez, dude, that's crazy, dude.
01:27:05.000 And that's what you love.
01:27:08.000 When you watch those games, you're like, yeah.
01:27:10.000 What's that like?
01:27:11.000 What's it like to go to a mall and see a pack of 40 teenagers walk up to you and just be like, I mean, walk right through them, but I will destroy all of you.
01:27:20.000 It just doesn't matter.
01:27:22.000 I don't know if it's like a guy feeling that you want.
01:27:26.000 Oh, for sure.
01:27:27.000 Yeah, it's like a superpower.
01:27:28.000 Every guy wishes that he was that guy.
01:27:32.000 That's why the Hulk was always such a popular comic book.
01:27:35.000 You're picking on this little skinny guy.
01:27:36.000 If you make him mad, then this fucking gigantic guy comes out of his body and smashes everybody.
01:27:44.000 One time I saw Tyron Woodley at Disney World when we were there.
01:27:50.000 I always thought about this.
01:27:52.000 I think he was with his family and his daughter or something.
01:27:56.000 His daughter just told him no.
01:27:59.000 Being a kid, whatever she is, four or five years old.
01:28:04.000 And she just kind of says no to him.
01:28:06.000 And I remember just thinking, that guy can beat up every human in this park.
01:28:12.000 But what I love shows of him as a parent, that is, I always love that his daughter, who's the smallest of all of us at this park, is the least scared of that guy.
01:28:25.000 And we are all deathly scared of you.
01:28:28.000 It shows that you're a good parent.
01:28:31.000 She's just a human.
01:28:32.000 She's a human.
01:28:33.000 And she looks at it as like, I don't care who you are.
01:28:35.000 That's my dad.
01:28:36.000 And you want to walk over and be like, if he gets upset, though, he's going to hit one of us.
01:28:39.000 And we will all pay for it.
01:28:42.000 He would never, though.
01:28:43.000 That guy is the friendliest guy ever.
01:28:44.000 He is.
01:28:44.000 He's very friendly.
01:28:45.000 Well, that's why he shows up that he's a great parent.
01:28:48.000 And I love it because, I don't know, I always just love that dynamic.
01:28:51.000 It's funny to be like the only person not scared of him.
01:28:54.000 Yeah.
01:28:54.000 Is this tiniest little girl that's like, no.
01:28:57.000 Tyron's doing something.
01:28:58.000 He's involved in the weed game now.
01:29:00.000 He's been hanging around a lot with Be Real from Cypress Hill.
01:29:03.000 He's always doing things with them.
01:29:05.000 He was on hot boxing with Mike Tyson.
01:29:07.000 That's a real...
01:29:08.000 The weed game is...
01:29:09.000 The weed game.
01:29:10.000 The weed game is like a real thing.
01:29:11.000 My buddy Soder, Dan Soder, he'd always talk about that because he's from Colorado.
01:29:16.000 And I mean, he'd just be like, losers...
01:29:19.000 I think he had a joke about it.
01:29:20.000 He's like, losers are doing, in high school, are like multi-millionaires now because they just waited it out.
01:29:25.000 And now they have like a real company.
01:29:28.000 It's true.
01:29:29.000 Yeah.
01:29:29.000 Yeah, I've been offered to get into business, but I'm like, until it's federally legal, that's an attack vector.
01:29:36.000 Like, if you really have some multi-million dollar weed company, like, is that legal?
01:29:41.000 How legal is this?
01:29:42.000 Yeah.
01:29:43.000 Like, I know there's a lot of people making money, but there's a lot of situations where they can't even deposit We're good to go.
01:30:11.000 One of the big dilemmas was they couldn't get credit cards.
01:30:13.000 They couldn't get banks to use credit cards with them.
01:30:17.000 So no one could pay with anything other than cash.
01:30:20.000 So they had these places where they're doing insane amounts of business.
01:30:24.000 They have weed tourism that was in Denver.
01:30:26.000 And they'd have lines around the block of people paying cash.
01:30:29.000 And then someone would come in with a ski mask on and fucking rob them.
01:30:33.000 And then there was also people that were leaving the bank with bags of cash and taking it to the bank.
01:30:38.000 Excuse me, leaving the dispensary with bags of cash and taking it to the bank.
01:30:43.000 And they knew that there was cash in these cars, so they had to have guys with black sedans following them with armed guards, armed guards in the truck.
01:30:52.000 It was a very complicated sort of a situation.
01:30:55.000 Where they were very vulnerable because they because no one wanted anything to do with them It wasn't that they didn't want anything to do with them They wanted the money like the banks took the money because it was legal in the state But it's not federally legal right so if you have a like a company like Citibank or a company like you know American Express They're not gonna let you use credit cards to buy weed because that's and then what if they get in trouble and Because it's a weird gray area,
01:31:23.000 because when things are federally Schedule 1, Schedule 1 is the most illegal, and that's what marijuana is, which is ridiculous, because it's legal in how many states now, Jamie?
01:31:35.000 19 or some shit?
01:31:36.000 That's what I wanted to say.
01:31:37.000 19 or 21 or something.
01:31:38.000 And it's legal medically.
01:31:40.000 I think it's legal in Texas medically.
01:31:42.000 But I think you have to have something really wrong.
01:31:45.000 You have to have full-on paralyzing epilepsy or something.
01:31:50.000 It wasn't like in LA when they were...
01:31:52.000 They'd always...
01:31:54.000 I always just heard, I just could tell a doctor, like, I have restless legs syndrome.
01:31:59.000 Oh, yeah.
01:32:00.000 Headaches, can't sleep, anxiety.
01:32:02.000 Here you go.
01:32:02.000 They said no to no one.
01:32:04.000 My doctor, this great doctor that I went to, and he had dreadlocks.
01:32:11.000 Do you know what a volcano is?
01:32:15.000 I think so.
01:32:16.000 It's a vaporizer.
01:32:18.000 Yes.
01:32:19.000 It's a weird one because the way a volcano works, it looks like a volcano, like a steel version of an industrial volcano.
01:32:25.000 And then on the top of that, you attach this nozzle that attaches to a giant plastic bag, like this plastic bag.
01:32:34.000 Most plastic bags that they would vaporize with would be, you know, like...
01:32:39.000 A foot and a half, two feet high.
01:32:42.000 This fucking dude had a five foot long bag.
01:32:45.000 I walked into this place.
01:32:47.000 This was when weed was really shaky.
01:32:51.000 It was real weird.
01:32:52.000 I'm talking like 1999, 2000. I was going to one dispensary that was in Inglewood.
01:32:59.000 Inglewood is...
01:33:01.000 It can be sketchy.
01:33:02.000 It can be a dangerous part of town.
01:33:05.000 And the Inglewood Wellness Center is the place that I used to go to.
01:33:07.000 But the guy that I used to go and buy weed from got shot.
01:33:11.000 So the same sort of situation.
01:33:12.000 You had to pay with cash.
01:33:14.000 I think you had to pay with cash back then.
01:33:15.000 But either way, he gets robbed and shot.
01:33:17.000 And I was like, fuck, I'm not going to that place anymore.
01:33:19.000 So I found this new one.
01:33:21.000 And I walk in, doctor's gut dreadlocks, five foot tall, like enormous bag filled up with weed vapor.
01:33:30.000 I mean, just like a cloud.
01:33:31.000 And he looks at me and he goes, you look sick!
01:33:34.000 He goes, you need medicine!
01:33:37.000 And he told it onto this thing and we were just laughing.
01:33:39.000 I'm like, what is this?
01:33:41.000 This is so crazy.
01:33:42.000 So we got high with this guy and he takes me back to the grow room.
01:33:45.000 And when you're super duper high and you walk into a grow room, one of the weird things is like, I mean, maybe it's just me being high, but I felt like they were intelligent.
01:33:55.000 Like I'm in this room and there's all this artificial light and there's all these vibrant, healthy pot plants.
01:34:03.000 Because these guys had like a super sophisticated operation.
01:34:05.000 It was a big ass room, like as big as that opening area on the front of the studio.
01:34:10.000 And you walk in there and there's like...
01:34:12.000 Hundreds and hundreds of plants and all these lights and you walk in and it's almost like, hello!
01:34:19.000 Like the plants are saying hi to you.
01:34:21.000 They felt, granted, I'm out of my mind, hi.
01:34:25.000 I can't go back to this, you're in your car the whole time.
01:34:29.000 Well, no, we stayed there for There was no way I was driving.
01:34:32.000 We were there for a long time.
01:34:35.000 It was great.
01:34:36.000 But it was like that then.
01:34:37.000 By the way, I was not famous back then.
01:34:40.000 I was on a television show.
01:34:42.000 The guy probably didn't know.
01:34:44.000 He didn't give a fuck.
01:34:45.000 They were just friendly.
01:34:47.000 That's the thing about...
01:34:48.000 Super high people.
01:34:50.000 Either they're real paranoid, they don't want to talk to anybody, or they're real friendly.
01:34:54.000 And this guy was real friendly.
01:34:57.000 And everybody there was real friendly.
01:34:59.000 They were all just really cool.
01:35:01.000 And they're showing me how the water drips into the plants and keeps them healthy, and how they have this sort of irrigation system set up.
01:35:11.000 I mean, you see that back then.
01:35:12.000 Yeah.
01:35:13.000 You had to...
01:35:14.000 Because it felt so illegal.
01:35:17.000 Yeah.
01:35:18.000 Back then.
01:35:18.000 Yeah, super illegal.
01:35:20.000 Yeah.
01:35:21.000 But not, because it was legal in the state, and I did have a license.
01:35:24.000 I did have a medical prescription, because I get headaches.
01:35:29.000 That's so crazy.
01:35:30.000 I get headaches, bro.
01:35:31.000 And also, I've had a bunch of surgeries.
01:35:33.000 It does help with pain, you know?
01:35:35.000 What really helps me, though, is CBD, which is non-psychoactive.
01:35:39.000 Yeah, that's what I always hear about CBD. Oh, it's great.
01:35:42.000 If you have arthritis or sore joints or shit like that, it's great for it.
01:35:46.000 It's great for some people.
01:35:48.000 It really helps with anxiety.
01:35:49.000 It helps them sleep and shit.
01:35:51.000 But back then, no one even knew what the fuck CBD was.
01:35:57.000 People are just getting high.
01:35:58.000 And for a lot of people, it changed their life.
01:36:01.000 People that were cancer patients, that were going through chemotherapy, that lost all their appetite, they would smoke weed, they would have their appetite back, and then they'd be able to eat, and they'd feel better.
01:36:11.000 People slept better.
01:36:13.000 It doesn't work with everybody.
01:36:15.000 Some people it's just not a good drug for.
01:36:17.000 It just doesn't.
01:36:19.000 Do you smoke weed?
01:36:20.000 No.
01:36:20.000 Yeah, see, there you go.
01:36:21.000 It's not for everybody.
01:36:22.000 Yeah, it's not for everybody.
01:36:23.000 I love it.
01:36:24.000 Yeah, I get it.
01:36:25.000 I mean, the idea of it, you know, I always think about that, like, if you had, like, my daughter, like, would I rather her drink or smoke weed?
01:36:33.000 Like, you know, because it's like, alcohol is crazy.
01:36:36.000 Alcohol, I mean...
01:36:38.000 It can lead to being violent, to being, you know, these car wrecks.
01:36:44.000 I'm sure Weed has that stuff too.
01:36:47.000 By the time she's 8, so by the time I say she's 21, I mean, who knows?
01:36:53.000 Weed might be way more acceptable versus I'm still from the era that you feel like it's bad.
01:37:00.000 I think one of the problems with weed is that, first of all, no one who's growing up, no one whose mind is developing should be doing any hardcore shit.
01:37:09.000 They shouldn't be taking alcohol.
01:37:12.000 They shouldn't be taking marijuana.
01:37:14.000 They just shouldn't be.
01:37:14.000 It's not good for you.
01:37:15.000 We give both that to our daughter.
01:37:17.000 We're trying to let her choose now.
01:37:18.000 Well, kids are gonna do it.
01:37:21.000 They're gonna do something.
01:37:22.000 But neither one is good for you.
01:37:24.000 Like, if you're 16, you're getting high every day, that's not good.
01:37:27.000 No.
01:37:27.000 It's not good.
01:37:28.000 If you're 16, you're getting drunk every day, that's not good either.
01:37:30.000 Both those things are bad.
01:37:32.000 But at least with alcohol, like, a shot is a shot, right?
01:37:37.000 You go to a store, you buy a bottle of whiskey, you take a shot of whiskey, That's what it is.
01:37:43.000 With pot, you could have a cookie, you don't know what the fuck it is.
01:37:48.000 You have no idea.
01:37:49.000 It could be 20 milligrams, or it could be 250 milligrams.
01:37:53.000 Joey Diaz sits around dosing people all the time.
01:37:57.000 He gives them these stars of death that are 250 milligrams, and you see people losing their mind.
01:38:03.000 They think they're in another dimension.
01:38:05.000 Yeah, but you would feel trapped, right?
01:38:08.000 I started having claustrophobia, and I imagine it feels like a lot of that.
01:38:14.000 Right, but for Joey, it's awesome.
01:38:16.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
01:38:17.000 He can eat three or four of those and just laugh his ass off.
01:38:20.000 If he does get paranoid, he gets over it.
01:38:24.000 What if you overdosed on weed?
01:38:26.000 You can't.
01:38:27.000 No, it's not going to kill you.
01:38:28.000 No.
01:38:29.000 I mean, unless you have a very peculiar biology.
01:38:32.000 Maybe I shouldn't say it's not going to kill you, but I have never heard of a single human being ever dying from marijuana.
01:38:39.000 Now, does that mean they haven't died from decisions they've made?
01:38:43.000 When they're high?
01:38:44.000 You gotta try to fly while it jumps off a building.
01:38:46.000 I'm sure they have.
01:38:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:38:47.000 Well, that makes sense to you at the level.
01:38:49.000 Yeah, if you get really high and you drive off a cliff.
01:38:51.000 I mean, I'm sure people have done shit when they're high.
01:38:55.000 But people have done...
01:38:56.000 How many things have people done when they're on Ambien?
01:38:59.000 Oh, yeah.
01:39:00.000 Nobody's scrambling to make that illegal.
01:39:02.000 Yeah, they give it to them on planes.
01:39:04.000 Yeah.
01:39:04.000 Oh, yeah.
01:39:04.000 And he's just walking around.
01:39:05.000 Oh, people lose their marbles on that shit.
01:39:07.000 And they sleepwalk and say things they don't even know they said.
01:39:11.000 Yeah.
01:39:11.000 Yeah, like Chris Pratt.
01:39:13.000 He takes Ambien and he was telling me all the wacky shit that he'll text people when he's on Ambien.
01:39:17.000 And then the next day they go, hey man, what the fuck?
01:39:19.000 What was last night about?
01:39:20.000 He's like, huh?
01:39:21.000 What are you talking about?
01:39:22.000 And they'll show him, he's like, oh dude, I was on Ambien.
01:39:24.000 I don't know what the fuck I said.
01:39:26.000 Kevin James, he cooked a meal.
01:39:30.000 He went downstairs, I think he went to the supermarket, bought food, cooked a meal, and then woke up in the morning and wanted to call the police.
01:39:37.000 Because someone broke into his house and cooked.
01:39:40.000 Yeah.
01:39:42.000 It'd be great if someone did do it, but he still thinks it's Ambien.
01:39:46.000 Some guy's like, dude, I almost got caught one time.
01:39:48.000 Went to Kevin's house.
01:39:49.000 Went to Kevin's house.
01:39:50.000 Cooked a turkey.
01:39:51.000 Turns out he's Ambien, and I just blamed it on that.
01:39:53.000 Oh, it's not good, man, for some people.
01:39:56.000 They have this...
01:39:56.000 Because it doesn't really give you the same sleep, either.
01:39:59.000 Like, it puts you in this weird state where you don't, like...
01:40:02.000 It just knocks you out, you know?
01:40:05.000 I would always have trouble sleeping, but a lot of it for me is food.
01:40:09.000 I'll eat Sour Patch Kids and drink soda at 11 o'clock at night.
01:40:14.000 And then I'm like, I'll go to the doctor, like, why can't I go to sleep at night?
01:40:19.000 I'm like, I'm in so much trouble.
01:40:21.000 And you're like, yeah, dude, you're throwing nonsense into your body.
01:40:25.000 Yeah, that's not good.
01:40:26.000 Sugar at night's the worst.
01:40:28.000 Yeah.
01:40:28.000 That's the worst.
01:40:29.000 I'm quitting drinking diet soda on the day my special, on the 18th.
01:40:33.000 Really?
01:40:34.000 I drink a lot of diet soda.
01:40:35.000 And I'm kind of convinced that I think it leads me to bad decisions.
01:40:40.000 So I'll eat candy.
01:40:41.000 I mean, dude, I eat.
01:40:42.000 It's bad, dude.
01:40:43.000 I got, like, coming here, I just went and had a barbecue right when I got here.
01:40:47.000 And then I had a hamburger.
01:40:48.000 Where'd you go?
01:40:50.000 Cooper's.
01:40:50.000 It was just like, it was the only one, a lot of them were closed.
01:40:52.000 Some of them were closed on Monday or something.
01:40:54.000 Oh, really?
01:40:55.000 And then, yeah, a few were closed.
01:40:56.000 They're, you know, I couldn't really figure it out.
01:40:59.000 Like, I looked at just online.
01:41:01.000 So the Cooper's is supposed to be, I don't know.
01:41:03.000 It says, they all got good reviews.
01:41:05.000 They all have, like, really good reviews.
01:41:07.000 Like, old-time Cooper's or something.
01:41:09.000 So I went in there and ate.
01:41:11.000 And then it's like, dude, I don't know how to eat good.
01:41:13.000 I don't come from, you know, growing up in Nashville, we ate just all chain stuff.
01:41:19.000 That's all I know how to wrap my head around.
01:41:21.000 Chain food?
01:41:22.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:41:23.000 Really?
01:41:23.000 Oh, I love it.
01:41:24.000 I met my wife at Applebee's.
01:41:27.000 My whole life goes through chain stuff.
01:41:30.000 So when you go on the road, do you see chain stores, chain restaurants?
01:41:34.000 Every second of it, dude.
01:41:36.000 I walk through every mall in America.
01:41:38.000 It's the greatest time of my life.
01:41:40.000 I love a mall so much.
01:41:42.000 What's number one?
01:41:43.000 At a mall?
01:41:43.000 Yeah, what's the number one chain?
01:41:45.000 Oh, number one chain I go to?
01:41:48.000 We started going to Outback, you know, so you come into a little more money, you go to Outback a little bit more.
01:41:55.000 I still love Applebee's.
01:41:57.000 I love every one of them.
01:41:59.000 Buffalo Wild Wings, I like.
01:42:02.000 You watch a lot of fights there, watch big games there.
01:42:04.000 There you go.
01:42:06.000 Yeah, I go to...
01:42:07.000 It's hard to fuck up good wings.
01:42:08.000 McDonald's, I'm a giant...
01:42:10.000 Really?
01:42:10.000 Really?
01:42:11.000 I think we should show McDonald's more respect.
01:42:12.000 It's the most successful restaurant in the world.
01:42:15.000 Why don't you walk in and wear a tuxedo when you go in.
01:42:19.000 You go in there with pajamas.
01:42:20.000 You're just some loser.
01:42:22.000 We're lucky they opened the door to us.
01:42:24.000 I'm a big fan of Filet-O-Fish's.
01:42:26.000 I love them.
01:42:27.000 If I'm coming home from a late night comedy show and I'm hungry and I'm like, fuck it, I get two filet of fishes.
01:42:33.000 Oh, it's the greatest.
01:42:34.000 Because it's easy.
01:42:35.000 You get them quick.
01:42:36.000 What do you do on the road?
01:42:37.000 What would you do on the road before?
01:42:40.000 Now I know the road is so much different.
01:42:42.000 When you get into theaters, you get into arenas, stuff gets different.
01:42:45.000 But when you were doing comedy clubs...
01:42:47.000 Would you just go eat somewhere?
01:42:49.000 Like you just go find a real restaurant?
01:42:51.000 Yeah.
01:42:52.000 Yeah.
01:42:52.000 Or Waffle House.
01:42:54.000 I'll do Waffle House.
01:42:55.000 So are you eating bad though?
01:42:57.000 It depends.
01:42:58.000 I don't eat bad every day, but I do eat bad.
01:43:00.000 Yeah.
01:43:01.000 But I don't do it every day.
01:43:02.000 I try to limit the amount of times I eat bad, but I do eat bad.
01:43:06.000 Yeah.
01:43:06.000 See?
01:43:06.000 I just think food should be two things.
01:43:10.000 It should be nutrition, and it should also be enjoyment.
01:43:13.000 And you've got to separate those things.
01:43:15.000 You've got to know when you're eating nonsense, but you're just enjoying it.
01:43:17.000 Like, oh, this is so good.
01:43:19.000 And then you feel like shit.
01:43:20.000 You've got to take your lumps.
01:43:21.000 Because you eat an ice cream sundae and a cheeseburger with fries, and it feels like you got hit with a tranquilizer dart.
01:43:28.000 You're like, ugh.
01:43:29.000 I had a pecan brownie and chocolate ice cream last night, and I feel amazing about this one.
01:43:36.000 I do feel it as I'm 41, and it's like the second you turn 40, dude, you're like, this is crazy.
01:43:45.000 You feel that tiredness.
01:43:47.000 It just affects you.
01:43:48.000 My body's trained.
01:43:50.000 Right now, it's like, not trained, but it's like, I can handle some bad food way more than most people.
01:43:55.000 Because I'm eating it so regularly.
01:43:58.000 Right, right.
01:43:58.000 I mean, I have a very, like, I get, too, I let myself get, you get hungry where you don't know what to do.
01:44:04.000 And I'm starving.
01:44:05.000 And so then my brain only goes to eating out.
01:44:09.000 Right.
01:44:09.000 Like, you know, I don't have food.
01:44:10.000 Like, my wife will cook, but, like, it's not like I just have, like, something at home.
01:44:14.000 Like, I'm like, you know, I just get to the point of where you're just too starving, then you make no good decision.
01:44:19.000 Late night is always the worst for me, because I'll eat when I'm not even hungry.
01:44:22.000 I'm just bored.
01:44:23.000 Yep.
01:44:24.000 You know, like, I'm writing or something, or I'm watching TV. I'll just go grab some potato chips, and then next, you know, I'm half a bag in, and I'm like, ugh, what have I done?
01:44:34.000 I didn't even need that.
01:44:35.000 I wasn't hungry.
01:44:36.000 I just was forcing salty things in my mouth.
01:44:40.000 And then you get a few in there and you're like, oh, let's keep going.
01:44:43.000 This is the best.
01:44:44.000 Let's keep going until we get sick.
01:44:46.000 It's the greatest thing ever, dude.
01:44:49.000 But is diet soda not good?
01:44:51.000 It's not good.
01:44:52.000 Yeah, it's not good, right?
01:44:53.000 Well, they say it actually...
01:44:54.000 I mean, I've read a bunch of shit on it.
01:44:56.000 First of all, aspartame is supposed to be not good for you.
01:44:59.000 It's very sketchy.
01:45:00.000 But apparently you have to drink a lot of it for it to be dangerous.
01:45:03.000 And when they do these studies with aspartame in rats, apparently they...
01:45:08.000 What they did with the...
01:45:10.000 They dosed them up with some extraordinary amount.
01:45:13.000 So when people say it's correlated with cancer and all these different things...
01:45:17.000 Maybe.
01:45:17.000 Maybe.
01:45:18.000 But the problem with that is like, what are the other things that are in your life that might be causing you cancer?
01:45:24.000 Is it stress?
01:45:26.000 What are the foods that you're eating with that?
01:45:29.000 I live in a power lines.
01:45:29.000 You live in a power lines?
01:45:31.000 Yeah.
01:45:33.000 I drink Diet Coke under a power line.
01:45:34.000 You think that's going to be a problem?
01:45:35.000 I think it's fine.
01:45:36.000 Are you getting sleep?
01:45:39.000 There's so many factors that lead someone to get sick.
01:45:42.000 But when they do these rat studies, then they can go, well, they can control everything.
01:45:46.000 But then humans aren't rats, so it's tricky.
01:45:49.000 I don't know.
01:45:50.000 I just don't think it's good for you.
01:45:52.000 I think it leads to bad.
01:45:54.000 Well, you want...
01:45:55.000 I don't want to drink...
01:45:57.000 I don't eat pizza with water.
01:45:59.000 Right.
01:45:59.000 You know, it's like there's stuff like that.
01:46:00.000 I'm not going to go to the movies and get popcorn and have water.
01:46:03.000 Right.
01:46:03.000 Like, that's no fun.
01:46:04.000 No, you want a Diet Coke.
01:46:05.000 And so, like, if I get rid of...
01:46:06.000 That's the way I look at it.
01:46:08.000 And I am...
01:46:09.000 into those things not like I occasionally have popcorn like I have it more I would always say like McDonald's could never throw I I'm never surprised when I go to McDonald's menu I'm always pretty aware what they're doing like when the you know when the the rib sandwich McRib comes back like yeah dude I've someone's like you know McRib's back like yeah dude I've already had a few of them I remember the day it came back you got the email I get updated.
01:46:33.000 I know what's happening, dude.
01:46:34.000 I'm not blown away.
01:46:36.000 What I used to love was when I would go to a movie theater and they had real butter for the popcorn.
01:46:40.000 I'm like, oh.
01:46:42.000 Real butter and salt.
01:46:44.000 Because that funky fake butter, it's somehow or another better than no butter.
01:46:51.000 But not as good as butter.
01:46:53.000 Like, what is that shit?
01:46:54.000 I don't ever...
01:46:55.000 When you get that squirt...
01:46:56.000 Yeah, I don't ever put it on.
01:46:58.000 I mean, it's made to just get stuff on your hands under the seat.
01:47:02.000 That's all that happens, dude.
01:47:03.000 You're eating the popcorn, and I mean, you just can't...
01:47:07.000 This hand's gone.
01:47:08.000 What's that?
01:47:09.000 What is the oil?
01:47:10.000 What is it?
01:47:12.000 I just Googled what it basically is.
01:47:14.000 What is it?
01:47:14.000 It's partially hydrogenated soybean oil.
01:47:18.000 Oh, it's terrible for you.
01:47:19.000 It's making you grow titties.
01:47:21.000 That stuff is going to turn you into a woman.
01:47:22.000 Do you have those?
01:47:23.000 Oh, well if you're a woman it'll turn you into more of a woman maybe.
01:47:26.000 That's what I always wanted to work out.
01:47:27.000 I just want you to not be able to see my nipples through my shirt.
01:47:30.000 That's all I've ever wanted.
01:47:32.000 It's as simple as that.
01:47:33.000 The man boobs.
01:47:34.000 The man boobs.
01:47:35.000 Man boobs are depressing.
01:47:37.000 That's a depressing thing for a guy, to have man boobs.
01:47:39.000 And then some guys, when they lose weight, then they still have the man boobs.
01:47:43.000 They just have deflated man boobs.
01:47:45.000 Then they have to get cut.
01:47:47.000 Yeah.
01:47:47.000 Because they have to trim all your fat back or trim all your skin back to where it used to be stretched out because of fat.
01:47:53.000 Yeah.
01:47:53.000 Who's that actor?
01:47:55.000 What's his name?
01:47:55.000 Ethan.
01:47:56.000 He was on Your Mom's House.
01:47:58.000 Yeah.
01:47:59.000 Is that what he's saying?
01:48:00.000 Oh, yeah.
01:48:01.000 That guy lost...
01:48:02.000 Lost a ton of weight.
01:48:02.000 Like 200 pounds.
01:48:04.000 Some insane...
01:48:05.000 And he's jacked now.
01:48:06.000 Yeah.
01:48:06.000 Like, he's really healthy.
01:48:08.000 The other guy who's done that is Action Bronson.
01:48:10.000 Action Bronson's lost a shitload of weight.
01:48:12.000 Like, look at that guy now.
01:48:13.000 That's crazy.
01:48:14.000 Crazy.
01:48:15.000 Crazy.
01:48:16.000 I mean, he's fucking ripped, but you see how his extra skin around his stomach, that was all just skin.
01:48:22.000 That just never goes away.
01:48:23.000 No, you have to have it operated on.
01:48:25.000 Look at that picture there.
01:48:27.000 The one, yeah, right there.
01:48:28.000 Look at that.
01:48:29.000 That's nuts.
01:48:31.000 Look, he's looking like fucking a pro wrestler.
01:48:34.000 He looks huge.
01:48:36.000 It looks like Triple H. Yeah, exactly.
01:48:39.000 He looks...
01:48:40.000 You would never recognize him if you saw him somewhere.
01:48:43.000 I mean, he just wouldn't recognize himself.
01:48:45.000 No.
01:48:45.000 I can imagine...
01:48:46.000 That's a completely different person.
01:48:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:48:50.000 Well, completely different life.
01:48:52.000 I bet the way he feels must be amazing to go through life as this giant, overweight guy, literally morbidly obese.
01:49:02.000 Have you seen what happens to NFL linemen when they retire?
01:49:05.000 This is Joe Thomas.
01:49:06.000 He was an all-pro his whole life.
01:49:09.000 And right when he quit playing, he sucked down weight instantly.
01:49:13.000 Well, he looks great.
01:49:14.000 Normal looking.
01:49:16.000 Well, he looks normal.
01:49:17.000 I don't know about normal.
01:49:18.000 Hold on.
01:49:18.000 Go back.
01:49:19.000 Go back to that picture.
01:49:20.000 Yeah, maybe he's not big and fat anymore, but that guy's jacked.
01:49:25.000 Show me that picture, the second picture you showed.
01:49:27.000 Is that him as well?
01:49:28.000 Yeah, this is him playing.
01:49:29.000 He played forever.
01:49:31.000 Still, that's not a normal guy.
01:49:33.000 That guy looks fucking shredded.
01:49:35.000 I mean, he looks like a pro athlete.
01:49:37.000 But before, he was like, this is the way for the position.
01:49:41.000 He was a center, right?
01:49:43.000 Offensive lineman, tackle.
01:49:44.000 And then, so for that position, he's like, well, I need to be this.
01:49:49.000 I wonder what he did.
01:49:51.000 Just probably cleaned his diet up and started doing cardio and Atkins.
01:49:56.000 I think I read it right.
01:49:57.000 Is that it?
01:49:57.000 Really?
01:49:57.000 No, I don't know, dude.
01:50:01.000 It looks great, though.
01:50:02.000 I love it when athletes retire and they don't get obese.
01:50:06.000 Because when they do get obese, it's kind of sad.
01:50:08.000 Well, they're usually so young.
01:50:09.000 Yeah.
01:50:10.000 I mean, they're in their 30s.
01:50:12.000 I remember someone saying that something always stuck with me.
01:50:14.000 I don't live by it.
01:50:15.000 But being like, I was like, why don't more people eat healthy?
01:50:19.000 And I remember him telling me, he's like, it's because they don't know how good it feels.
01:50:23.000 And so, like, if you're eating, like, you're just used to kind of having that drag of McDonald's.
01:50:31.000 I just ate McDonald's.
01:50:32.000 All day.
01:50:33.000 That's your life.
01:50:33.000 And anytime it starts to go away, you go, well, you're hungry again, and you go put it back in.
01:50:38.000 So your whole life is just kind of like a slowdown, and you just get very used to that.
01:50:45.000 That makes sense.
01:50:45.000 And we have no idea.
01:50:47.000 I mean, because the days that I've, you know, if I've ever been like, I'm doing no carbs or something, and you do it for two days, it's like you can feel like amazing.
01:50:57.000 Like you go, God, you just have energy, you feel great, or whatever, you know, for the little bit, just because it's a shock to my system.
01:51:05.000 That we're not eating just garbage, dude.
01:51:08.000 Like, I had...
01:51:09.000 I mean, like, my wife, like, she'll go, like, they went to Florida Universal, like, now.
01:51:16.000 And so, like, she leaves, like, two days before I leave.
01:51:19.000 And it's like, I mean, I already eat bad if she's around.
01:51:21.000 But if she's not around, it's like, I mean, I would have these, like, pre-made meals.
01:51:26.000 She's like, just eat one of those.
01:51:27.000 And I was like, no, thank you.
01:51:29.000 Like, if she's not there, a major problem, dude.
01:51:32.000 Yeah, no, I get it, man.
01:51:35.000 I get it.
01:51:36.000 It's so appealing.
01:51:38.000 You know, like you see a ring ding sitting there.
01:51:41.000 I could just have that.
01:51:42.000 I could have that mouth pleasure right now.
01:51:44.000 I could just put that in my mouth right now.
01:51:47.000 That chocolatey goodness and that creamy white filling.
01:51:50.000 It would be the best thing ever, dude.
01:51:54.000 I mean, he's the greatest.
01:51:55.000 Once it hits your tongue, too, your body doesn't know what the fuck a ring ding is.
01:52:00.000 All that sugar and this weird semi-digestible portion, because it's not normal.
01:52:08.000 Normal's orange.
01:52:09.000 That's normal.
01:52:10.000 Apple's normal.
01:52:12.000 Your body eats an apple.
01:52:13.000 It's like, eh, we know what this is.
01:52:14.000 Like, you don't get some crazy rush.
01:52:16.000 You don't get like, oh, oh.
01:52:18.000 But if you eat like a chocolate eclair or a Krispy Kreme, do you go to Krispy Kreme?
01:52:26.000 I mean...
01:52:26.000 Come on, son.
01:52:27.000 A good bit.
01:52:28.000 Yeah.
01:52:29.000 Dude, I go so much that I've started wearing my mask on in the car because I'm afraid that they're going to go, hey, what's up, man?
01:52:35.000 And then I can recognize it as a comedian, just as a customer.
01:52:39.000 Just as a regular dude.
01:52:42.000 I'll just act like I, you know, I don't really tell, it's not like I talk about it with my wife.
01:52:48.000 I pay cash a lot, so it can't be traced back to me, like a ton of cash.
01:52:53.000 How many do you get?
01:52:55.000 I will do four if I go.
01:52:59.000 Three to four.
01:53:01.000 That's what I... I got tired just hearing that.
01:53:03.000 I felt the sugar crash just hearing you.
01:53:05.000 I'll go golfing right after.
01:53:07.000 I just eat that to go golf.
01:53:08.000 And I'll walk 18 holes.
01:53:10.000 If you're moving around, I bet that's not the bad idea.
01:53:14.000 So you're saying I can do it?
01:53:15.000 It's not the worst idea.
01:53:17.000 So you're saying I'm on a good diet, Joe?
01:53:18.000 Okay.
01:53:18.000 Matt Frazier, who was a five-time CrossFit champion when he was here the other day, one of the things that he said is that even talking to high-level nutritionists, they would tell him after a brutal workout, get sugar in your system, drink a can of Coke, eat a Snickers bar.
01:53:33.000 And, like, sounds ridiculous, but your body, when you really exert yourself bad, it needs that sugar.
01:53:40.000 I think the problem is when you eat that sugar and then you don't do anything.
01:53:44.000 If you have a couple of donuts and you go golfing for a few hours, maybe not the worst thing in the world.
01:53:50.000 Yeah.
01:53:50.000 You're out there walking.
01:53:51.000 Every day?
01:53:52.000 No, I don't know about every day, bro.
01:53:53.000 What?
01:53:56.000 I don't know about every day.
01:53:58.000 I'm just trying to find a window.
01:54:00.000 Joe said I should be doing it.
01:54:02.000 I'm on the donut diet.
01:54:03.000 Apparently your body gets accustomed to donuts and then everything's good.
01:54:07.000 Yeah, did you hear that?
01:54:08.000 I feel like I can find an article for anything.
01:54:11.000 Listen, if you can find an article that says the world's flat, you can find an article that says donuts are good for you.
01:54:15.000 Those are the people I need to get behind.
01:54:18.000 They need to get behind donuts.
01:54:19.000 Fuck all this flat earth shit.
01:54:21.000 That's nonsense.
01:54:22.000 Let's do something good and get behind Krispy Kreme donuts.
01:54:25.000 Someone needs to find a way to make a keto donut that really tastes like a Krispy Kreme donut.
01:54:32.000 Because most keto donuts are like, okay, pretty good.
01:54:36.000 I've had keto cookies, like, hmm, not bad.
01:54:40.000 But you're never like, oh, there's that orgasmic thing when you have like a really good, like a Mrs. Fields cookie.
01:54:47.000 You know, Mrs. Fields with those big ass chunks of chocolate in them and they're warm and they're a little bit mushy.
01:54:53.000 So you bite into them and your body's like, oh, keep going.
01:54:57.000 You just want to devour them.
01:54:58.000 Could Krispy Kreme be the tastiest thing?
01:55:03.000 I'm a huge McDonald's, I mean a huge ice cream fan.
01:55:09.000 I ate a lot of ice cream too.
01:55:10.000 But I mean, tastiest thing that you could eat.
01:55:15.000 It's tough to fuck with.
01:55:17.000 Right?
01:55:18.000 Because maybe it's not the tastiest.
01:55:21.000 But it's unreal, dude.
01:55:22.000 For a Russia show, we're a warm one?
01:55:24.000 A warm Krispy Kreme?
01:55:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:55:28.000 They got that light.
01:55:29.000 I just realized it says original glaze is what that light means.
01:55:32.000 I thought it meant like...
01:55:33.000 I'll almost see what...
01:55:35.000 That's how dumb I am.
01:55:36.000 I would just see the light and I would go and be like, maybe it's chocolate donuts this time that are hot.
01:55:40.000 And it's never.
01:55:41.000 It's always glazed.
01:55:42.000 And I keep thinking, one day I'm going to catch them and they're going to have hot chocolate donuts.
01:55:45.000 And then just the other day, I read the sign and it says original glaze.
01:55:49.000 I was like, it's never hot chocolate donuts, dude.
01:55:52.000 It's always the original glaze.
01:55:54.000 Those original glaze, the difference between them being hot and not being hot is monumental.
01:55:59.000 Chappelle had that joke about it where he's like, if they made it out of crack, you would believe it.
01:56:04.000 Oh, did he?
01:56:05.000 I think so.
01:56:06.000 It's like that idea that you're like, it's that good.
01:56:09.000 They melt.
01:56:11.000 They melt.
01:56:11.000 You bite into it and it just sort of disappears.
01:56:14.000 Like cotton candy almost.
01:56:15.000 Yeah.
01:56:16.000 Just because there's that much sugar in it.
01:56:17.000 It is like cotton candy.
01:56:18.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:56:18.000 Cotton candy is amazing.
01:56:20.000 Amazing.
01:56:20.000 I've had cotton candy pretty recently.
01:56:22.000 Really?
01:56:22.000 How often?
01:56:23.000 An hour ago?
01:56:24.000 Huh?
01:56:24.000 On the way.
01:56:25.000 I got some under the table.
01:56:26.000 You don't know that.
01:56:27.000 Yeah.
01:56:30.000 What's your go-to thing, though, if you really want to just fuck up a diet?
01:56:34.000 I mean, it's my regular life.
01:56:36.000 I mean, I don't know what you mean, like my go-to.
01:56:40.000 I'm never not, I'm always doing something.
01:56:43.000 I started working out a lot, and so I've noticed, like, I can tell, like, my legs, which I always joke with, it feels like it's all legs.
01:56:52.000 That's all working out is, everyday's legs.
01:56:54.000 It just never stops.
01:56:56.000 You're like, let's do something else.
01:56:58.000 It's like, no, it's just legs.
01:56:59.000 But I, and I can tell that like, I could see my body getting a little different.
01:57:04.000 And then it's not changing that much.
01:57:06.000 And I'm like, what has to be, you know, because I'm working out and like going, then I'll go eat McDonald's and then I'll go do something else.
01:57:12.000 And so I'm never putting in, I don't think I eat enough.
01:57:15.000 I don't have enough calories.
01:57:18.000 I'll eat like one meal a day sometimes.
01:57:20.000 Because people that tend to eat bad can go a long time with eating.
01:57:23.000 You can see some really big people.
01:57:26.000 It's not like they're just eating 24 hours a day.
01:57:28.000 They eat at 8 o'clock like they haven't eaten in two weeks.
01:57:33.000 But then that's it.
01:57:34.000 Right, right, right.
01:57:35.000 They wake up, and it's hard for them to wrap their head around going, like, well, I'm not hungry.
01:57:42.000 Intermittent fasting is not that hard for a lot, because you could be like, I don't know, whatever.
01:57:47.000 But during that window, it's going to be a problem, dude.
01:57:50.000 It's going to eat everything.
01:57:53.000 And that's when everybody...
01:57:54.000 Because I always think when someone explains something to be healthy...
01:57:57.000 They always tell you to, like, they always be like, well, be careful about fruit.
01:58:01.000 And you're like, well, let's let fruit be the, let's wait till that becomes the problem.
01:58:04.000 Like, I'm not where I'm at because someone's like, how much pineapple do you have last night?
01:58:09.000 You're like, I got after it.
01:58:10.000 Like, I had four apples if I couldn't put it down.
01:58:13.000 That's exactly true.
01:58:14.000 You're like, just let me eat food.
01:58:15.000 But we will hear advice from the most in shape person.
01:58:20.000 And so they're like, well, you got to kind of be careful.
01:58:22.000 Yeah, that guy does.
01:58:23.000 Yeah, but that guy's trying to get shredded for a bodybuilding competition or something.
01:58:26.000 For me, they're like, let's just not go to McDonald's every day.
01:58:30.000 Let's just start.
01:58:30.000 You know, it's like starting attainable goals.
01:58:33.000 What are you doing when you say you're working out recently?
01:58:35.000 What are you doing?
01:58:37.000 I do it.
01:58:37.000 This guy started working out with, he comes to our neighbor, this Klug Fitness in Nashville.
01:58:43.000 And they come to, they go to your house.
01:58:44.000 They started doing that with COVID, so they come to your driveway.
01:58:46.000 So a lot of my friends in my cul-de-sac, we would kind of go in on it together.
01:58:51.000 Oh, that's cool.
01:58:52.000 Yeah, and he does, he's like, he competes in a lot of, our trainer, Matt, competes in a lot of like the, you know, the, whatever is it, the lifting heavy, the big.
01:59:02.000 Strongman competitions.
01:59:03.000 Strongman competitions.
01:59:04.000 I thought every word but strong.
01:59:07.000 I was like, you know, the everyman competitions.
01:59:09.000 The heavy.
01:59:10.000 The heavy man.
01:59:11.000 You know, big muscle competitions.
01:59:12.000 Yeah, he's a big dude.
01:59:13.000 Lift stuff.
01:59:14.000 Heavy stuff.
01:59:15.000 And so we do the, you know, it's all legs are every day.
01:59:20.000 But you're doing a lot of stuff.
01:59:22.000 They travel around in a van, dude.
01:59:24.000 They set up.
01:59:25.000 I do squats.
01:59:26.000 I do bench press.
01:59:27.000 He has all the weights.
01:59:28.000 Oh, wow.
01:59:29.000 You do everything, and they do it in your driveway.
01:59:31.000 And so your neighbors come over, and you all hang out together?
01:59:33.000 And we all hang out together, and we do it.
01:59:35.000 How many times do you COVID test anybody ever when you guys do that?
01:59:40.000 Outside!
01:59:40.000 But we're in my cul-de-sac, so no one's gone, so we all know where everybody's at.
01:59:45.000 So everybody's just hanging out.
01:59:45.000 And that's why they kind of started doing it, because of this...
01:59:48.000 Our trainer actually got COVID at one point and told us, like, hey, I got COVID, and neither one of us got it.
01:59:54.000 Because we're never...
01:59:55.000 We're outside.
01:59:56.000 We're not on each other.
01:59:58.000 That was the whole reason of doing it.
02:00:00.000 Well, especially when you're doing it outside during the day, there's real evidence that it dies instantly in sunlight.
02:00:07.000 And then also under UV light.
02:00:10.000 Yeah.
02:00:10.000 That's not a fear during the day.
02:00:12.000 That's one of the things that was most infuriating about LA, where they were trying to shut down beaches.
02:00:17.000 And people are like, what the fuck are you doing?
02:00:19.000 Why are you shutting down beaches?
02:00:21.000 There's no evidence that it spreads this way.
02:00:23.000 There's early evidence that it died in sunlight.
02:00:26.000 Yeah, I don't know.
02:00:28.000 A lot of people think everybody's dumb.
02:00:31.000 Everybody thinks, well, I'm not dumb, but you're dumb.
02:00:35.000 And I think people kind of operate on that mindset.
02:00:39.000 I'm not doing it for us, obviously, but you don't understand the idiots that we've got running around this country that don't know how to...
02:00:47.000 Because that's why those guys would get caught being out.
02:00:49.000 Like all those governors would get caught doing something.
02:00:52.000 Right.
02:00:52.000 Because they go, well, I know how not to get it.
02:00:54.000 But these buffoons that live behind me don't know.
02:00:59.000 And so we got to shut the beach down because they would start licking each other and stuff like that.
02:01:04.000 Because that's what they do down there.
02:01:06.000 Exactly.
02:01:07.000 Exactly.
02:01:08.000 Yeah, it's weird.
02:01:09.000 That's the argument for censoring conspiracy videos on YouTube.
02:01:14.000 The argument is that if you read something or you watch a video and it's clearly nonsense about dinosaurs being fake, you're not going to go, oh my god, I can't believe I've been lied to all this time about dinosaurs.
02:01:28.000 You're going to go, what is this crazy?
02:01:30.000 Were you around when Art Bell was on the air?
02:01:35.000 Was it the AM station?
02:01:37.000 Yes.
02:01:38.000 Yes.
02:01:39.000 I remember getting picked up by a driver once and he had that on.
02:01:42.000 Art Bell used to have a time traveler line.
02:01:46.000 Yeah.
02:01:46.000 Okay, where you could call in if you were a time traveler.
02:01:52.000 Nobody fucking really believed the guy was a time traveler, but it was fun.
02:01:57.000 It was fun.
02:01:58.000 I mean, I'm sure there was a bunch of schizophrenics that listened that thought it was true.
02:02:02.000 But what are we going to do?
02:02:03.000 Are we going to nerf the world?
02:02:05.000 Are we going to censor all these fake time travelers?
02:02:09.000 Yeah, you want those around.
02:02:09.000 I want those people.
02:02:10.000 Because those make you understand the right more.
02:02:15.000 Because you go, yeah, that's the crazy.
02:02:17.000 And then you go, yeah, that doesn't make sense.
02:02:20.000 Yeah, you do want those people around.
02:02:22.000 I like someone, like the dinosaur's not real.
02:02:25.000 I just pictured someone, Eve on YouTube, dear YouTube.
02:02:28.000 I was lied to about, apparently dinosaurs are real.
02:02:32.000 And I feel betrayed by this video that had 100 views.
02:02:39.000 A lot of those videos have millions of views.
02:02:41.000 They have millions.
02:02:42.000 But that was the argument for getting QAnon videos off the internet.
02:02:46.000 It was that people were buying into it.
02:02:48.000 They really believed it.
02:02:49.000 But if you watch any of those videos, you're like, wait a minute, Trump is still the president?
02:02:53.000 He's still the president, and Biden's about to go to jail, and they're about to drop the hammer down, and the military's going to swoop in and take over the...
02:03:01.000 What?
02:03:02.000 What?
02:03:03.000 Like a crazy...
02:03:04.000 Yeah, something insane.
02:03:05.000 Yeah, it's like they're playing multi-level chess.
02:03:08.000 I feel like they always have a reason, too.
02:03:11.000 They're like, alright, well, it can't happen today.
02:03:13.000 It's raining outside, so obviously.
02:03:15.000 There's always some reason that it doesn't happen.
02:03:18.000 You're just like, it could happen.
02:03:20.000 There's a great thread that I found that somebody sent me to where these guys, after Trump lost...
02:03:27.000 And then after the whole Capitol Hill insurrection, all that crazy shit happened, this guy was on one of those forums realizing that he's been a moron and that he's been had.
02:03:39.000 He's like, I can't believe I've wasted all this time believing this bullshit.
02:03:43.000 And people were also chiming in like, yeah, I'm kind of fucking disappointed in myself too.
02:03:48.000 All these dudes were just chiming in.
02:03:51.000 The most ridiculous theories that there was some...
02:03:56.000 That it was all really some sort of child trafficking regime that they were trying to bring down, and that's why Trump was pretending to lose, and then they were gonna swoop in and arrest all these child sex traffickers.
02:04:10.000 Yeah, I knew people that got really deep into it.
02:04:12.000 I was trying to get them just to Alex Jones.
02:04:16.000 I told a lot of people, I was like, let's just do Alex, do not go below Alex.
02:04:23.000 Stop it.
02:04:24.000 They're so far down.
02:04:26.000 Who were these people that you knew?
02:04:28.000 You just knew some friends, guys that want to believe that stuff, and they want it to be true.
02:04:35.000 That's what's weird.
02:04:36.000 It's a mix of people.
02:04:42.000 Both sides can believe a lot of crazy stuff.
02:04:44.000 They can get tricked into everything that goes on.
02:04:48.000 No doubt.
02:04:49.000 Yeah, it's not exclusive to one party or the other.
02:04:52.000 People can believe some wacky shit.
02:04:54.000 If you want to believe it, it's pretty easy to believe it, to wrap your head around it.
02:04:59.000 100%.
02:05:00.000 My dad told me when I was a kid that I can't sleep with my socks on because my feet can't breathe.
02:05:08.000 I've believed that my whole life, dude.
02:05:10.000 And I don't wear socks to bed.
02:05:12.000 That's how little of a thing can get in your head that I just was like, well, I can't breathe.
02:05:16.000 Did you ever talk to him about it later?
02:05:17.000 Hey, man.
02:05:19.000 Yeah.
02:05:19.000 Hey.
02:05:20.000 I asked him again, are you saying, you're still saying my feet can't breathe?
02:05:24.000 And my dad goes, yeah.
02:05:25.000 And he's stuck with it.
02:05:26.000 So I go, all right.
02:05:28.000 Alright!
02:05:28.000 Like, you know.
02:05:29.000 It'd be funny if he's like, I never fucking said that.
02:05:31.000 I don't, he would never remember saying it.
02:05:33.000 I don't know why he said it.
02:05:34.000 He might have said it because I'm a kid that's trying, like that day, he's like, I don't want to get a bad day.
02:05:39.000 I'm going to leave my socks on.
02:05:40.000 He makes something up, you know.
02:05:41.000 I actually read something that said that if you have socks on when you sleep, you sleep better.
02:05:46.000 You sleep better if your feet are warmer.
02:05:50.000 I mean, that's why I have trouble sleeping.
02:05:52.000 Not the Sour Patch Kids, it's...
02:05:54.000 I mean, what's wrong with socks?
02:05:55.000 Why is everybody scared of socks?
02:05:57.000 I'm a big socks fan.
02:05:59.000 I wear a lot of...
02:06:00.000 I like them.
02:06:00.000 I like Uggs.
02:06:01.000 I don't walk around barefoot at home.
02:06:03.000 I love shoes.
02:06:05.000 Do you wear Uggs?
02:06:06.000 Slippers.
02:06:07.000 Do you wear socks in those Uggs?
02:06:09.000 No.
02:06:09.000 That's why I want to...
02:06:09.000 I love things that you don't have to put socks on.
02:06:12.000 If you wear Uggs with no socks, how long before they stink?
02:06:16.000 Pretty quick, you might get beat up before that, but it's the guys that attack you.
02:06:22.000 I don't know what the time frame is.
02:06:24.000 Stinky feet patrol.
02:06:26.000 No, they'd be the loser patrol that you're wearing.
02:06:29.000 I think that's the point of it.
02:06:32.000 Dude, we had this guy on Kill Tony the other night.
02:06:35.000 It was fucking hilarious.
02:06:38.000 There was this kid, this young kid who's a comedian, and he was talking about how he's really into feet.
02:06:47.000 He had some girl come on stage and she took her shoe off.
02:06:51.000 She turned out to be a comedian too.
02:06:52.000 She took her shoe off and let him smell her feet.
02:06:54.000 And he was like sniffing it and getting real excited about it.
02:06:57.000 And they were both getting turned on by it.
02:06:58.000 It was just so...
02:06:59.000 She liked it.
02:07:00.000 At least she said she liked it.
02:07:02.000 Maybe she was joking around with it.
02:07:04.000 Yeah.
02:07:06.000 There's dudes that are into stinky feet.
02:07:08.000 They like it.
02:07:09.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
02:07:09.000 He was saying it helps him.
02:07:10.000 That's what he said.
02:07:11.000 He's like, the quickest way for me to bust if I smell some stinky feet.
02:07:15.000 We were like, what?
02:07:17.000 Yeah.
02:07:17.000 But he was like so casual about it.
02:07:20.000 Talking in front of this large group of people that's going on the internet to a larger group of people.
02:07:26.000 Talking about how he's really into stinky feet.
02:07:31.000 I feel like you hear...
02:07:32.000 People are willing to say more stuff now than they ever were.
02:07:37.000 Especially now with the internet, everybody kind of has a voice.
02:07:41.000 You can become famous at any point if something goes viral.
02:07:45.000 I don't know, but I always think with celebrities...
02:07:50.000 Think about all the celebrities before.
02:07:52.000 You didn't know what they...
02:07:53.000 They felt like make-believe people.
02:07:55.000 Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise.
02:07:57.000 You don't know what those guys are about.
02:08:00.000 You would never see them outside of a movie.
02:08:03.000 And now you're seeing Tom Hanks making a video.
02:08:06.000 And you're like, that's just a guy.
02:08:08.000 Like, Tom Hanks, you know, watched, I remember something, he watched Storage Hunters, that show, and you're like, it just kind of...
02:08:16.000 He was watching it?
02:08:17.000 Like, talking while he was watching it?
02:08:18.000 He talked about it, like, is that, yeah, I just heard him talk about it a long time ago, just in an interview or something, and he just said he liked that show, or Storage Wars, or something, one of those, you know, a show like that.
02:08:29.000 But it was just like, I don't know, you're like, I don't know, I feel like I never would have known that.
02:08:32.000 Like these people become, like the idea of like Tom Cruise, I've always liked the idea.
02:08:38.000 I don't know if he knows what, like how much money he is.
02:08:41.000 That guy's been famous for 30 years.
02:08:44.000 At least.
02:08:45.000 At least.
02:08:46.000 At least.
02:08:46.000 At least.
02:08:47.000 Right, 30 years ago was what?
02:08:51.000 He was famous in 80...
02:08:55.000 Yeah.
02:08:56.000 Born on the 4th of July or before that?
02:08:59.000 He's definitely famous for that because he was starring in that.
02:09:02.000 Oh yeah, Outsiders.
02:09:03.000 What year was it, Outsiders?
02:09:04.000 Let's guess.
02:09:05.000 Oh.
02:09:06.000 83?
02:09:08.000 84. For some reason 84 is popping in my head.
02:09:10.000 84 is a good number.
02:09:12.000 Outsiders.
02:09:13.000 He was 18 in a bit part in 1981. His name was in Taps in 83. Oh, that's right.
02:09:22.000 With Timothy Hutton.
02:09:23.000 83 was Outsiders?
02:09:24.000 Yeah.
02:09:25.000 Wow.
02:09:27.000 And that's when you did a movie.
02:09:29.000 It was huge.
02:09:30.000 Fuck yeah.
02:09:31.000 Yeah.
02:09:32.000 There's movies now you're like, I've never heard of that movie.
02:09:33.000 And all the right moves in Risky Business all in the same year.
02:09:36.000 Oh, wow.
02:09:37.000 Risky business.
02:09:39.000 Yeah, that was the big one.
02:09:40.000 That made Ray-Bans famous.
02:09:42.000 Right?
02:09:43.000 Yeah.
02:09:43.000 He wore Ray-Bans and slid around with socks on?
02:09:46.000 Yeah.
02:09:46.000 Socks.
02:09:47.000 And then...
02:09:48.000 So that guy wouldn't...
02:09:50.000 So that was when I was...
02:09:52.000 I was a fucking...
02:09:54.000 That was 15. So he got famous when I was 15, and now he's still famous as fuck now and still doing action movies.
02:10:02.000 Action movies.
02:10:02.000 He broke his ankle jumping from one building to another.
02:10:05.000 I've never seen this movie.
02:10:06.000 Oh, it's terrible.
02:10:07.000 Legend?
02:10:08.000 Yeah, it's really interesting.
02:10:09.000 Oh, it's Ridley Scott, too.
02:10:10.000 Yeah, it's like a demon guy.
02:10:11.000 I mean, it's not terrible, terrible.
02:10:13.000 It's just not good.
02:10:14.000 Look how pretty he is.
02:10:15.000 God, he's so handsome.
02:10:16.000 Yeah, there's some demon.
02:10:17.000 I forget what it was about.
02:10:19.000 That's 85?
02:10:20.000 Yeah, that's the year I graduated high school.
02:10:21.000 The Lord of Darkness.
02:10:23.000 Oh, that's him.
02:10:24.000 That's the Lord.
02:10:25.000 That's crazy.
02:10:26.000 So here he is, back then, grown-ass man, back then.
02:10:30.000 Now, today!
02:10:31.000 All these years later, doing Mission Impossible, jumping from one building to another and breaking his fucking ankle.
02:10:37.000 Did you see that video?
02:10:38.000 I didn't see the video of him breaking it.
02:10:39.000 Bro, he does stunts.
02:10:39.000 I just went through all the Mission Impossibles.
02:10:41.000 All of them in one sitting?
02:10:43.000 Well, just over...
02:10:44.000 Over COVID? Over, I mean, in like a week...
02:10:47.000 I would watch it.
02:10:48.000 I started doing that at night.
02:10:50.000 It's just to kind of pick like these old kind of shoot-em-up mindless kind of fun action movies.
02:10:56.000 And so I went through every Mission Impossible.
02:10:59.000 I don't follow the stories.
02:11:01.000 I don't connect with the story.
02:11:03.000 I saw the weirdest movie yesterday.
02:11:05.000 It's an Ethan Hawke movie about time travel.
02:11:09.000 Hold on, I saved a picture because it was so strange.
02:11:12.000 I was like, what the fuck is this?
02:11:15.000 But really original.
02:11:17.000 That's it.
02:11:19.000 Really original movie.
02:11:21.000 At the end of it, I was like, whoa!
02:11:23.000 I don't want to give anything away, just the fact that it's a time travel movie, but it's a mind fuck and a half.
02:11:28.000 And not like any movie I've ever seen before.
02:11:31.000 As the movie's going on, you're like, where is this going?
02:11:35.000 I did a joke about time travel that I wrote as a show.
02:11:39.000 It didn't go anywhere, but it was the idea.
02:11:41.000 I don't think if I went back in time, I don't think I could prove I'm from the future.
02:11:46.000 I don't think there's anything I could tell them that's not...
02:11:49.000 Because you don't know enough?
02:11:51.000 They're like, who's the president now?
02:11:53.000 I don't know.
02:11:55.000 You go back to 1905, they're like, who's going to be the next president?
02:11:58.000 I don't know, dude.
02:12:00.000 1905. I'd be like, name some people.
02:12:01.000 Let me Google it.
02:12:03.000 Oh, shit.
02:12:03.000 All that's gone.
02:12:04.000 You guys don't even have 5G. What else could I? Yeah.
02:12:07.000 Yeah.
02:12:08.000 I would have to hear some names.
02:12:11.000 And you know, there's always like a window in presidents where you're like, a few of them that you're like, you don't ever talk about.
02:12:16.000 Like, you don't really know who they are.
02:12:17.000 Right.
02:12:17.000 They're not, they were never famous.
02:12:19.000 If I went back in that time, I'd be like, I've never heard of that guy.
02:12:22.000 I'm like, Like, how far back could you go and name presidents?
02:12:25.000 Incomfortable?
02:12:26.000 Starting right now.
02:12:28.000 Okay.
02:12:28.000 Okay.
02:12:28.000 JFK. Trump.
02:12:29.000 We go to Trump.
02:12:30.000 Okay.
02:12:30.000 Yeah.
02:12:31.000 Obama.
02:12:33.000 Clinton.
02:12:34.000 No.
02:12:35.000 Bush.
02:12:35.000 Bush.
02:12:36.000 Clinton.
02:12:36.000 Bush.
02:12:38.000 Reagan.
02:12:39.000 Reagan.
02:12:41.000 Jimmy Carter.
02:12:42.000 Jimmy Carter.
02:12:43.000 Gerald Ford.
02:12:44.000 Ford.
02:12:45.000 Yeah.
02:12:46.000 Nixon.
02:12:46.000 Nixon.
02:12:48.000 Lyndon Johnson.
02:12:50.000 Kennedy.
02:12:53.000 Eisenhower?
02:12:55.000 I'm probably done at Kennedy.
02:12:57.000 Who's before Kennedy?
02:12:59.000 I think it's Eisenhower because I think that was the famous speech about the military industrial complex.
02:13:05.000 Telling people to beware of the military industrial complex.
02:13:08.000 Eisenhower, right?
02:13:09.000 Okay, before Eisenhower.
02:13:11.000 Truman?
02:13:12.000 Yes.
02:13:13.000 Is this like the 40s now, 50s?
02:13:14.000 50s.
02:13:15.000 We're in the 50s.
02:13:16.000 Yeah.
02:13:16.000 Truman?
02:13:17.000 45 to 53 was Truman, so pre-45.
02:13:21.000 I'm fucked from then.
02:13:23.000 Pretty famous one.
02:13:24.000 Abraham Lincoln.
02:13:25.000 That's what I would go next.
02:13:27.000 Eisenhower?
02:13:28.000 No.
02:13:29.000 No, where you said that?
02:13:30.000 Other way.
02:13:32.000 FDR. FDR. Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
02:13:34.000 And then he gets squirrely.
02:13:35.000 Teddy Roosevelt is in the 1800s, right?
02:13:38.000 Yeah, he was 1901. What was his relationship to Franklin Delano Roosevelt?
02:13:45.000 Father?
02:13:46.000 Uncle?
02:13:46.000 Father?
02:13:47.000 Hold on.
02:13:48.000 I am your father.
02:13:50.000 I forgot something more than Hickory, which is named after Andy Jackson.
02:13:54.000 Oh.
02:13:54.000 When was he?
02:13:56.000 You know, we have his own home where I live, and I've never been to it.
02:14:00.000 Because I switched schools when the elementary schools would go to that, to go to it.
02:14:05.000 Fifth cousin?
02:14:07.000 And I switched schools, so I just have never been to his own.
02:14:11.000 And I live five minutes from it.
02:14:13.000 I remember when I lived in Boston, there was a place where you go that I think was Paul Revere's house.
02:14:20.000 I think I've been to that.
02:14:21.000 And I'm always like, how much...
02:14:22.000 He's famous.
02:14:23.000 Should have a bigger house.
02:14:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:14:25.000 This guy was a pretty rough time during this.
02:14:27.000 He wasn't balling at all.
02:14:29.000 No, nothing.
02:14:30.000 You know.
02:14:30.000 They don't go show you his house afterwards.
02:14:32.000 He goes, well, then I moved into a gated community.
02:14:33.000 There it is.
02:14:34.000 Like, you see Gwyneth Paltrow's house.
02:14:35.000 It's fucking giant.
02:14:36.000 Look at Paul Revere's house.
02:14:38.000 You would be disappointed if you got that house.
02:14:41.000 I would be so sad if I went over, like, Mel Gibson's house and that was his house.
02:14:46.000 I'd be like, this is it, Mel?
02:14:47.000 And Mel Gibson is the Paul Revere of our time.
02:14:50.000 And I think now it's like a museum, right?
02:14:53.000 You can go visit it?
02:14:54.000 Yeah, I think I've been to it.
02:14:56.000 When Boston...
02:14:59.000 Yeah, there it is.
02:15:00.000 Apparently, all that whole the British are coming, the British are coming, not really true.
02:15:04.000 Yeah.
02:15:05.000 Yeah, apparently there was another guy.
02:15:07.000 There was another guy that was warning everybody.
02:15:09.000 And then Paul Revere was like, oh yeah, I told everybody.
02:15:13.000 Isn't that like the Tesla guy?
02:15:15.000 Oh, there was two founders of Tesla before Elon Musk?
02:15:18.000 No, no, no, not that.
02:15:19.000 Or who it's named after.
02:15:21.000 Nikola Tesla.
02:15:22.000 Yes.
02:15:23.000 Didn't he do something about inventing light or something?
02:15:28.000 What did he do, dude?
02:15:29.000 Pretty much, that was it.
02:15:31.000 He invented light.
02:15:32.000 Yeah, before him we were living in dark matter.
02:15:35.000 It was all dark matter.
02:15:36.000 Isn't there some beef between him and someone else about...
02:15:39.000 Edison.
02:15:39.000 Edison.
02:15:40.000 Yes.
02:15:40.000 Well, he invented ACDC. Alternating current.
02:15:45.000 Not the band.
02:15:46.000 He wasn't involved.
02:15:47.000 At all.
02:15:48.000 No.
02:15:49.000 No, I guess Young didn't even know him.
02:15:51.000 I'd like to see your sources on that.
02:15:52.000 He invented alternating current and Thomas Edison initially was like super skeptical or was a propagandist, I should say, against alternating current.
02:16:02.000 And one of the things that he did was he electrocuted an elephant.
02:16:06.000 To show everybody.
02:16:07.000 See if you can find that.
02:16:09.000 Is that it?
02:16:10.000 Elon just tweeted this.
02:16:11.000 Elon just tweeted this?
02:16:13.000 Not today, but like the other day.
02:16:14.000 Oh, wow.
02:16:15.000 Yeah.
02:16:16.000 Him and Edison.
02:16:17.000 See, the thing was, Edison was not a stupid man.
02:16:20.000 He was a brilliant man.
02:16:21.000 But Nikola Tesla was an alien.
02:16:24.000 I mean, he was responsible for so many fucking inventions.
02:16:29.000 He wanted to transmit electricity through the air.
02:16:33.000 And Westinghouse was like, what?
02:16:35.000 What are you talking about?
02:16:36.000 That was his idea, to use these towers and transmit electricity.
02:16:40.000 There's a movie made a couple years ago called The Current War.
02:16:43.000 It's very loosely based off of the truth type of movie, but it's the idea of what was going on between them fighting back and forth.
02:16:50.000 Tesla worked for Thomas Edison for a little while.
02:16:53.000 Mm-hmm.
02:16:53.000 Well, Tesla, like a lot of brilliant men, was not great at business.
02:16:57.000 He was just great at inventing things.
02:17:00.000 And when he died, they raided his house and got all his papers and all his shit and who knows how much intellectual property they took.
02:17:09.000 Because the guy had ideas that never came to fruition that were just genius.
02:17:13.000 I mean, he was...
02:17:15.000 He was a weird guy, though.
02:17:17.000 Like, he was in love with a pigeon.
02:17:19.000 Like, he had a love affair with a pigeon that he wrote about.
02:17:22.000 Like, he was in love with a pigeon.
02:17:23.000 Yeah, that's good.
02:17:24.000 I just think...
02:17:25.000 I think you can get too smart.
02:17:27.000 And then when you're out there, you're so far out there that you're just...
02:17:30.000 Well, yeah, you're in your own world.
02:17:33.000 And, like, you just get...
02:17:35.000 You're just kind of gone, dude.
02:17:37.000 Too gone.
02:17:37.000 Yeah, you're too gone.
02:17:38.000 Too gone.
02:17:39.000 You can get too gone.
02:17:39.000 Yeah.
02:17:40.000 Well, I think you only have so much room in your brain.
02:17:44.000 And even a super powerful brain, like a person that's extraordinarily intelligent, there's only so much room, I really doubt you're going to have the smartest person ever who's also really good at telling jokes.
02:17:58.000 Yeah.
02:17:59.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:18:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:18:00.000 You can also go on stage high and talk shit and say a lot of really funny things.
02:18:05.000 Yeah.
02:18:07.000 It's just not usually the case.
02:18:09.000 If you hung out with Albert Einstein, how was it?
02:18:12.000 You're like, pretty good, actually.
02:18:13.000 It's going to be like, no, he's the worst.
02:18:15.000 He's the worst.
02:18:16.000 Because he doesn't know how to interact or something.
02:18:19.000 But if he had notes and he was going to go up on a show and then Joey Diaz was on after him, you'd watch Joey Diaz.
02:18:25.000 Yeah, all day.
02:18:26.000 You wouldn't watch Einstein.
02:18:28.000 But these guys, they're operating in this realm that You know, when you think about, like, we're talking about LeBron James or Michael Jordan, like, Khabib Nurmagomedov, super athletes, just the rarest of the rare humans.
02:18:42.000 Well, there's people like that with brains.
02:18:44.000 Just the rarest of the rare minds who can figure things out that most human beings are...
02:18:50.000 You would give them a thousand lifetimes with that same brain.
02:18:52.000 They have no shot at ever figuring out any of that shit.
02:18:55.000 I don't care how much education they have.
02:18:57.000 Don't lie.
02:18:58.000 Like, people will lie.
02:18:59.000 Well, everyone with the proper education can achieve amazing heights of intelligence.
02:19:02.000 Now you're born different.
02:19:02.000 No, you're born different.
02:19:04.000 Some people have big brains.
02:19:05.000 Some people have little brains.
02:19:07.000 Some people have minds that work really well.
02:19:09.000 And some people are born deaf.
02:19:11.000 And some people are born with weak hands.
02:19:13.000 Yeah.
02:19:13.000 You know, like, everybody's weird.
02:19:15.000 Is that weak hands are real?
02:19:16.000 People just can't grab things good.
02:19:19.000 They're born with that?
02:19:21.000 They have tiny hands.
02:19:24.000 Yeah, if you're born with small, small hands.
02:19:26.000 It's just like this glass falls on you.
02:19:27.000 You want to pick things up.
02:19:28.000 If you talk to someone with weak hands and you come over here, the cups are laying sideways.
02:19:34.000 Can you help me?
02:19:35.000 He's like, I'm sorry, I have no.
02:19:36.000 They have to use their elbow.
02:19:37.000 The servers are just a nightmare when he walks in.
02:19:40.000 Give him a plastic spoon.
02:19:43.000 He can't hold a metal one.
02:19:45.000 He's got weak hands.
02:19:47.000 Human beings vary so much.
02:19:49.000 It's one of the things that makes us interesting, but when you get to a guy like a Nikola Tesla, or even an Elon Musk, they're almost so smart that there's...
02:19:59.000 They're going to be eccentric.
02:20:01.000 There's no way they're going to be normal, like a normal person and that smart.
02:20:04.000 They have to be eccentric.
02:20:06.000 The greatness idea is, so there's a thing on Netflix called Drug Lords, and it's like, I like cartel stuff.
02:20:12.000 It's kind of crazy to me.
02:20:14.000 It's crazy that it's happening now.
02:20:17.000 You know, it's like 2021, and you just feel, and it still can be like the 80s, and you feel like when you read stories.
02:20:24.000 Like El Chapo is in prison.
02:20:26.000 He's in Denver.
02:20:27.000 The prison needs...
02:20:28.000 They have a lot of people in that prison, too.
02:20:31.000 But they...
02:20:33.000 So there's a girl in Drug Lords, and she grew up in, I think, Compton or something.
02:20:39.000 I mean, unbelievable athlete growing up, right?
02:20:44.000 In high school, could compete in the Olympics.
02:20:47.000 And it doesn't go that path and then becomes a drug lord and then becomes a queen drug lord that ran and all this crazy stuff.
02:20:56.000 And it makes me think that's a person that you're like, yeah, she's going to be really good at whatever she does.
02:21:02.000 She could have been in the Olympics.
02:21:03.000 She could have went down the road that she went down.
02:21:06.000 I think she actually gives speeches now and talks about how not to go down this road.
02:21:11.000 But she became dominant in selling drugs.
02:21:13.000 And it was just like, this is a super successful person.
02:21:16.000 Their energy will go.
02:21:18.000 Wherever it goes, they're going to be great at it.
02:21:21.000 That's just what they have.
02:21:22.000 Good or bad.
02:21:23.000 Yeah.
02:21:23.000 It is crazy when you pay attention to what's going on in Mexico that you could drive there.
02:21:29.000 Oh, it's wild, dude.
02:21:30.000 We're in Texas.
02:21:31.000 It's not that far of a drive.
02:21:32.000 I remember hearing a long time ago.
02:21:34.000 Look at that.
02:21:35.000 Mexico is set to legalize marijuana, becoming the world's largest market.
02:21:40.000 Woo!
02:21:41.000 They're probably doing that just to battle the cartels.
02:21:43.000 But the cartels are growing weed to send to America anyway.
02:21:47.000 Maybe the cartels want it to be legal there, so it takes heat off of them growing it there and then just a matter of getting it over to America.
02:21:52.000 Well, how rich those guys were, those cartels like Pablo Escobar and Chapo.
02:21:56.000 I mean, they're billions and billions of dollars.
02:21:58.000 It's unbelievable.
02:22:00.000 We have this guy, we've had him on several times.
02:22:02.000 His name is Ed Calderon.
02:22:04.000 I follow him on Instagram because of...
02:22:06.000 Yeah, Ed Manifesto.
02:22:07.000 And he always sends me shit about what's going on in Mexico.
02:22:12.000 And to this day, it's wild.
02:22:13.000 There's like insurrections in towns.
02:22:15.000 They're taking over towns.
02:22:16.000 They have these wars between rival cartels.
02:22:19.000 They're going back and forth.
02:22:20.000 And it's fucking wild, man.
02:22:22.000 And it's right there.
02:22:23.000 How many cartels are there now?
02:22:24.000 I don't know.
02:22:25.000 I have no idea.
02:22:26.000 Yeah.
02:22:27.000 But it's, you know, it's crazy because the amount of power and influence they have.
02:22:32.000 You know what happened with El Chapo's son?
02:22:34.000 They arrested him and then the fucking cartel surrounded the town and made them release him.
02:22:39.000 I saw the video.
02:22:40.000 Yeah.
02:22:40.000 They just let him go.
02:22:41.000 They're like, okay.
02:22:43.000 And you're like, what is this video from the 80s?
02:22:45.000 You're like, no, it's two days ago.
02:22:47.000 Last week.
02:22:47.000 And you're like, what, dude?
02:22:49.000 Yeah, because they all surround it.
02:22:51.000 They have more power than all.
02:22:53.000 The government can't do nothing.
02:22:54.000 No, there's so much influence.
02:22:57.000 Can it ever end?
02:22:59.000 It did in Colombia.
02:23:02.000 That's what's interesting.
02:23:03.000 Colombia, where Escobar was.
02:23:04.000 Now Colombia is fairly safe.
02:23:07.000 They've cleaned up Colombia quite a bit.
02:23:09.000 I don't know how they did it.
02:23:10.000 I don't know what they did.
02:23:11.000 I don't know what the success formula is and whether or not that formula in Colombia is applicable to Mexico.
02:23:17.000 Because the thing about Colombia is it's not quite as close to America as Mexico is.
02:23:22.000 The thing about Mexico in America, there's a guy named John Norris and he wrote a book called The Hidden War.
02:23:27.000 And he was a...
02:23:30.000 He was working as a game warden for California, and as he was working for a game warden, he's a guy who likes outdoor activities like hunting and fishing and stuff, and he thought that's what he would do.
02:23:42.000 Like, you know, hey, you have three trout, you're only supposed to have two, that kind of shit.
02:23:46.000 Turns out, as he was on the job, they started finding, and this is at the beginning of it, these illegal grow operations.
02:23:55.000 In California, in the national forests.
02:23:57.000 So they'd find, like, trout rivers and trout streams that the water was all missing because it had been diverted to these illegal grow-ups that were in the middle of the woods on public land.
02:24:07.000 And what they would do is because when they made marijuana legal, In California.
02:24:12.000 They made it legal in the state.
02:24:14.000 One of the things they did was they said that if you have it and you grow it, even if you do it without a license, it's a misdemeanor.
02:24:20.000 So because of that, they started growing 80% of all the illegal marijuana that's distributed through the United States in states where it is illegal.
02:24:30.000 It was grown in California by the cartels in these crazy grow-ops that had just existed on these ranches.
02:24:37.000 I know a dude who works at a ranch in Texas, works at Tohono Ranch, and they just found, they were wandering around, they saw these white pipes, like, what is this?
02:24:47.000 And they found this giant illegal grow-op in the middle of the fucking ranch.
02:24:51.000 These cartel dudes hiked in with all this hose and all this different shit, all this equipment that they need.
02:24:58.000 They just hiked in on foot many, many miles with giant backpacks stuffed with shit.
02:25:03.000 They hoofed it to these places and set up these grow-ups.
02:25:07.000 They started growing marijuana.
02:25:08.000 Is that still active?
02:25:09.000 When you come up on it, are you like, dude, I don't even want to...
02:25:12.000 They had to call the cops because you can get killed, for sure.
02:25:15.000 Well, this was one of the things that John Norris...
02:25:17.000 We're good to go.
02:25:44.000 Because they realized that there's a massive market for this stuff, and so they would grow it in these areas where very few people would go to.
02:25:52.000 So they'd just go deep, deep, deep in the forest, like where those fucking Sasquatch noises were coming from, and that's what they would set up.
02:25:58.000 Maybe that's where they are.
02:25:59.000 Maybe they're trying to scare people away.
02:26:00.000 They're trying to scare people away.
02:26:02.000 Yeah.
02:26:03.000 So that was a cartel, though.
02:26:04.000 But, I mean, when you go back to the early days of the cartel, we're not talking, like, the immense power that they've amassed over the last couple of decades.
02:26:12.000 This is a fairly recent thing in history.
02:26:15.000 Yeah.
02:26:17.000 Randomly off, but off that, there's nothing to do with that, but I always think that with the stand-up comedy.
02:26:22.000 Like, stand-up comedy.
02:26:23.000 I know that it's, like, court gesture.
02:26:25.000 Like, there's this, you know...
02:26:27.000 But you look at, like, Cosby.
02:26:29.000 I mean, he's still alive right now.
02:26:31.000 And that guy was doing it at that point when he was, like, kind of new.
02:26:35.000 Like, with stand-up comedy, still...
02:26:37.000 As what we think of it as today is not that old.
02:26:42.000 No, no, it's real recent.
02:26:43.000 And the stand-up comedy that we do was really started by Lenny Bruce.
02:26:47.000 So it was started in like the 1950s and 60s.
02:26:50.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
02:26:51.000 I mean, back then there wasn't even comedy clubs.
02:26:53.000 He would host shows where they would have like someone would be like a dancer would go out and perform and then a band would perform and He'd have all these different variety acts, and the comic would be the guy who would tell jokes in between these performances.
02:27:10.000 Yeah.
02:27:11.000 And then he goes on to start doing these performances where he becomes this social commentator and pointing out things.
02:27:18.000 Instead of just jokes, he's pointing out stuff about life.
02:27:22.000 Yeah, no one's doing it at that time, which is crazy.
02:27:26.000 He's the door opener, really.
02:27:28.000 They were going to Catskills at the time, but they weren't doing...
02:27:31.000 Those guys were doing jokes.
02:27:32.000 They were like, you know, two Jews walking to a bar.
02:27:34.000 They had jokes.
02:27:36.000 And he became the first guy.
02:27:39.000 And then there was Mort Sahl, and then of course George Carlin, and then Richard Pryor took it to a whole new level.
02:27:45.000 He was the guy that really revolutionized it and made it the most funny.
02:27:50.000 Because if you go back and watch Lenny Bruce, as brilliant and as important as that guy is in stand-up, his comedy is from a different era.
02:28:00.000 Humans thought about things differently then.
02:28:03.000 They were so closed off to ideas.
02:28:05.000 And any little risque thing would be so funny.
02:28:08.000 Did you ever see Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?
02:28:10.000 No, I haven't watched it yet.
02:28:12.000 It's good.
02:28:12.000 It's real good.
02:28:13.000 Especially the first season and then into the second season.
02:28:17.000 I think the third season it got a little tired for me.
02:28:22.000 But maybe it was just me.
02:28:23.000 Maybe I was bored with it.
02:28:24.000 But Lenny Bruce is in it.
02:28:25.000 And they have this guy who keeps getting arrested.
02:28:29.000 And they have him say the things that Lenny Bruce was saying when he got arrested.
02:28:34.000 And it's crazy.
02:28:35.000 Like it's a normal set that anybody would have at the improv.
02:28:38.000 Like a totally normal set.
02:28:40.000 I'm probably clean now.
02:28:42.000 Yes!
02:28:42.000 Wouldn't even be that risque.
02:28:43.000 They would arrest the shit out of him.
02:28:46.000 But he had some bits that hold up.
02:28:50.000 Like he had one back when homosexuality was illegal.
02:28:53.000 And he goes, Dig, it's illegal to be a homosexual.
02:28:57.000 But what happens when they catch you?
02:28:58.000 They put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you.
02:29:04.000 Good joke.
02:29:05.000 Still a solid joke.
02:29:07.000 But if you try to listen to Lenny Bruce live at Carnegie Hall or some of his performances that have been recorded, I've listened to them.
02:29:15.000 They're hard to get through.
02:29:17.000 You kind of have to look at them as a historical piece instead of trying to listen to it in the context of 2021 with the internet and people can talk about anything.
02:29:29.000 Comedy is in a different place now.
02:29:31.000 Much different.
02:29:32.000 Did you ever meet Bill Hicks?
02:29:33.000 I was in his presence.
02:29:35.000 I wouldn't say I met him.
02:29:37.000 I never sat down and talked to him.
02:29:39.000 But I was at Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston and the Comedy Connection in Boston when he was performing.
02:29:46.000 When he was right off of the Rodney Dangerfield special.
02:29:51.000 And he was coming in the headline.
02:29:53.000 I saw him bomb.
02:29:54.000 Oh, yeah.
02:29:54.000 I saw him clear the room.
02:29:55.000 But me and Greg Fitzsimmons and a couple of the comedians were back fucking howling, laughing.
02:30:01.000 And maybe a small percentage of the audience remained.
02:30:03.000 But he cleared the fucking room.
02:30:05.000 Yeah.
02:30:05.000 And he was doing this one bit.
02:30:07.000 In the middle of the bit, he looked up and he goes...
02:30:09.000 Yeah, this generally clears the room.
02:30:12.000 When people are getting up in fucking droves, it didn't seem to bother him.
02:30:16.000 It was weird.
02:30:17.000 Well, even being able to see that probably helped to be like, well, he doesn't care.
02:30:22.000 He had shocking confidence.
02:30:23.000 Yeah.
02:30:24.000 Shocking composure and confidence in it.
02:30:27.000 He changed the way people thought about doing stand-up because they thought stand-up wasn't just what's the funniest shit you can do.
02:30:34.000 It was also really interesting ideas that would change the way people perceive things.
02:30:40.000 That's what he was doing.
02:30:42.000 That bit he had young man on drugs.
02:30:44.000 It's always the same story.
02:30:46.000 Young man on drugs, young man on acid, thinks he can fly, jumps off of a building.
02:30:51.000 What a loss.
02:30:52.000 And he goes, what a dick!
02:30:54.000 Because he thought he could fly.
02:30:55.000 Why didn't he take off from the ground first?
02:30:57.000 He had this whole bit about, you know, young man on acid realizes that life is merely energy condensed to a slow, rhythmic vibration, and we are all the imagination of ourselves.
02:31:07.000 Now here's Ted with the weather.
02:31:09.000 It was great stuff.
02:31:11.000 It was different than regular stand-up.
02:31:14.000 He introduced psychedelic concepts.
02:31:16.000 He introduced a lot of Noam Chomsky's work about the real history of interventionalist foreign policy and why we're in these foreign countries.
02:31:26.000 And he did it through jokes.
02:31:27.000 He would joke about Iraq.
02:31:30.000 Iraq has dangerous weapons, terrifying weapons.
02:31:34.000 Well, how do you know?
02:31:35.000 Well, we check the receipts.
02:31:37.000 Because he had this whole bit about the original Desert Storm War that was one of the more interesting bits ever about war because it was like flavored by his understanding of how these things get started in the first place, which he really never saw.
02:31:52.000 That's crazy.
02:31:53.000 Yeah, he was a different guy, man.
02:31:54.000 I got to see him...
02:31:56.000 I saw him live, I think, three times, maybe four.
02:32:00.000 Maybe four times.
02:32:01.000 Because maybe, like, I saw him two nights in a row a couple times.
02:32:04.000 I always think Boston...
02:32:08.000 Probably Massachusetts.
02:32:09.000 I always think that's the number one place that produces comedians.
02:32:12.000 And there's even comics that you're there.
02:32:15.000 Greg Fitzsimmons.
02:32:17.000 Yep.
02:32:18.000 So Maren.
02:32:19.000 Maren.
02:32:20.000 Louie.
02:32:20.000 Louie.
02:32:21.000 Burr.
02:32:21.000 Patrice.
02:32:22.000 Patrice.
02:32:22.000 Yep.
02:32:23.000 Bobby Kelly.
02:32:24.000 Yep.
02:32:25.000 My buddy Joe List.
02:32:26.000 Yep.
02:32:26.000 From Boston.
02:32:28.000 I know I'm missing.
02:32:29.000 Jay Leno.
02:32:29.000 Jay Leno.
02:32:30.000 Yeah, Jay Leno.
02:32:31.000 And then the guys who are the Boston guys, like Lenny Clark, Steve Sweeney, Stephen Wright.
02:32:36.000 It was a great place.
02:32:38.000 Tony V. It was a place where they had an unbelievable amount of work.
02:32:45.000 Where there was a lot of comics, but there was so much work.
02:32:49.000 There was one area called Warrington Street, and that's where Nick's Comedy Stop is, where you would go.
02:32:53.000 Nick's Comedy Stop was on one street.
02:32:56.000 You would go a little bit down the block, and you had the Comedy Connection.
02:33:00.000 You go upstairs from that, you had the Comedy Club at the Charles Playhouse.
02:33:03.000 Across the street, you had Duck Soup.
02:33:06.000 And then down here, you had Dick Daugherty's Comedy Vault.
02:33:08.000 So you had one, two, three, four, five places that within a five-minute walk...
02:33:14.000 Yeah.
02:33:14.000 It was crazy.
02:33:15.000 It's crazy.
02:33:16.000 Well, that's how New York was when I first moved there, is like seeing that, you know, the Village had Boston Comedy Club, The Cellar, we had the Village Lantern, was like around the other corner, and then they built some other clubs there, but then you'd have New York, New York Comedy Club,
02:33:31.000 The Stand Up, The Stand now, Comic Strip, Dangerfields, which I think closed.
02:33:38.000 Dangerfields, I did hear it closed.
02:33:39.000 I was so sad.
02:33:41.000 I used to do a lot of shows there, man.
02:33:44.000 Because Dangerfields would give you more time, you got paid a little bit more, and you got food.
02:33:49.000 They would give you free food.
02:33:51.000 So they had great cheeseburgers.
02:33:53.000 Their cheeseburgers were fucking delicious.
02:33:56.000 You could do 20 minutes, which is a big deal.
02:33:59.000 I was at Dangerfields once.
02:34:01.000 I think I had like a 9 o'clock spot or something like that.
02:34:04.000 And I got there like 8.45.
02:34:06.000 And the comics were all sitting at the bar.
02:34:08.000 The show was supposed to start at 8. And everyone was sitting at the bar.
02:34:12.000 I'm like, what's going on?
02:34:12.000 We don't have a crowd yet.
02:34:14.000 I go, there's no crowd?
02:34:15.000 I'm like, no, there's no crowd.
02:34:16.000 And then there's this guy, Bobby, who used to work the doors.
02:34:19.000 Fucking tank of a man.
02:34:21.000 He was like a power lifter who would make his own weights.
02:34:24.000 He would fill like buckets with cement and he would like put handles on them and lift weights.
02:34:30.000 He's like a fucking gorilla.
02:34:32.000 He's Scottish.
02:34:33.000 And he would always make fun of your act too.
02:34:35.000 You tricked him with that bag of shite act.
02:34:38.000 And so these people walk in, this couple walks in while I'm sitting at the bar with these guys.
02:34:43.000 I'm like, no crowd?
02:34:44.000 There's no crowd at all?
02:34:45.000 And these two people walk in, welcome to Dangerfields!
02:34:47.000 Come on in, have a seat.
02:34:48.000 They have a seat and then immediately the light comes on by themselves.
02:34:51.000 These two people sitting in the audience.
02:34:53.000 And then the MC goes out and then the first guy goes out and the second guy goes out and then I went out.
02:34:58.000 And these people sat through the whole show.
02:35:00.000 Two people.
02:35:01.000 They never, I mean, maybe another person showed up, maybe two other people showed up, I don't remember.
02:35:05.000 But I remember being, like, stunned.
02:35:07.000 These poor people are being held hostage.
02:35:09.000 They can't even leave.
02:35:10.000 Not to do better, but I did a show for one guy.
02:35:14.000 And I asked him to leave on stage.
02:35:16.000 I go, let's just...
02:35:17.000 We don't need to do this.
02:35:18.000 And he was like, no, it's fine.
02:35:20.000 And I'm like, it's not...
02:35:22.000 You know, and he was...
02:35:23.000 But, like, you would do that in New York.
02:35:25.000 I think that's what helped you in New York was, A, the amount of sets you're doing.
02:35:29.000 It's like dog years.
02:35:30.000 You know, you're going up...
02:35:34.000 Once you got into clubs, you'd be going up like 15 times a weekend.
02:35:37.000 For sure.
02:35:38.000 A ton.
02:35:40.000 But you would get people in.
02:35:41.000 Hey, we've got a great comedy show.
02:35:42.000 We've got a great comedy show.
02:35:43.000 Come in, blah.
02:35:44.000 And then once they sit down, if you felt they were about to leave, it's like someone's got to go up to hold them.
02:35:48.000 So you've got to go up and that person's got to be like, hey.
02:35:50.000 And they do a show and you're trying to just get more people in.
02:35:52.000 It's a trick.
02:35:53.000 You're doing comedy in front of people that don't want to be there.
02:35:56.000 Like, at all.
02:35:57.000 Most every room you go in...
02:35:59.000 People don't know yet they don't want to be there, but you're just watching them about to figure it out.
02:36:06.000 And so you're trying to get as many jokes as you can in before they go, yeah, this is weird, dude.
02:36:12.000 Why am I here?
02:36:13.000 Tiny little crowds are weird, but they teach you what's bullshit in your act.
02:36:17.000 When you start doing jokes for tiny little crowds, you realize how much of your act is filled with nonsense.
02:36:23.000 You know?
02:36:24.000 Yeah.
02:36:25.000 How much of it is kind of filler?
02:36:26.000 Or how much of the bit is unnecessary?
02:36:29.000 Because those unnecessary parts stand out like a sore thumb when there's only 20 people in the audience.
02:36:35.000 Whereas if there's 200 people, you can kind of pull it off.
02:36:38.000 Yeah.
02:36:38.000 You can kind of get away with fat in your act.
02:36:40.000 Yeah, just generally in a room.
02:36:42.000 Just the noise alone in a room with 200 people can make something kind of flow.
02:36:49.000 Yeah.
02:36:49.000 It gets real when it's four people.
02:36:52.000 I mean, I... Dude, we used to do shows.
02:36:54.000 I remember if it was eight, it was like, we're almost taped tonight.
02:36:57.000 Eight was huge.
02:36:58.000 You're like, I'm going to get this down, dude.
02:37:01.000 I still think to this day that if you're an athlete, you've got to cross-train.
02:37:06.000 You've got to run every now and then.
02:37:08.000 Sometimes you have to lift weights.
02:37:09.000 I think for a comic, it's great to do a big crowd, but it's also great to do almost no one.
02:37:14.000 I think it's good.
02:37:15.000 I think it teaches you how much of your act is bullshit.
02:37:18.000 Do you have trouble with...
02:37:20.000 Because I always heard Seinfeld would say he wished he could go back to perform in front of no one.
02:37:25.000 You know when you perform in a crowd that doesn't know you at all?
02:37:29.000 Yeah.
02:37:29.000 Like when you get a murder.
02:37:30.000 You know when you go in and you're like, they don't really know who you are.
02:37:33.000 They're like, is this guy good or not?
02:37:35.000 And you get a murder.
02:37:37.000 Like there's not much better than that.
02:37:39.000 When you can hear them laughing and you're like, dude, I'm not even too what's good yet.
02:37:43.000 And you just got them.
02:37:45.000 You earned it.
02:37:46.000 You earned it.
02:37:47.000 And that was the feeling you got when you were...
02:37:49.000 That built so much confidence because you're like, these people don't know me.
02:37:53.000 Yeah.
02:37:53.000 At all.
02:37:54.000 It's true.
02:37:55.000 Do you ever miss...
02:37:56.000 It's like now, every room you're going to go in, they're going to...
02:37:59.000 You're not going to be able to really pop up and be like, I don't know.
02:38:04.000 I think you just got to be happy.
02:38:07.000 Yeah.
02:38:08.000 There's no sense in wanting something that you're not going to get.
02:38:11.000 Well, it's a new thing you've got to learn.
02:38:12.000 Now they have expectations.
02:38:13.000 Yeah.
02:38:14.000 So you've got to be good enough for their expectations.
02:38:16.000 For sure, yeah.
02:38:17.000 And they paid money to see you, and they may be a little skeptical.
02:38:20.000 Yeah.
02:38:20.000 It was fucking Nate Bargazzi.
02:38:22.000 Yeah.
02:38:22.000 Come on.
02:38:22.000 This guy stinks, dude.
02:38:24.000 I let him know I do.
02:38:25.000 What do you dye your beard, bro?
02:38:26.000 Yeah.
02:38:27.000 Your hair is white, and your fucking beard is dark.
02:38:30.000 Let's get out of here.
02:38:30.000 Watch him leave.
02:38:31.000 Eating donuts and shit.
02:38:32.000 Not even because of this fat idiot eating all these Krispy Kreme.
02:38:35.000 Dude, they can't...
02:38:36.000 One time at Caroline's, they would do...
02:38:37.000 You know, they did, like, a Wednesday night or something, like, comic to watch, and you get a headline, and no one showed up, and they...
02:38:45.000 Like, they had to have 20 people, and we didn't have 20, so they canceled the show to me and the audience at the same time at the bar.
02:38:53.000 So if there's less than 20, they won't do a show?
02:38:55.000 At that time, at Caroline's.
02:38:56.000 Because it was such a big room that it wasn't worth it.
02:38:58.000 So we had like 12. For the like employers?
02:39:01.000 Yeah, just for whatever.
02:39:03.000 Yeah, because Caroline's was a little different.
02:39:05.000 Not as much like Spot.
02:39:07.000 You know, it was like they would do a normal weekend where they would have headliners and features.
02:39:11.000 But I remember standing with the crowd.
02:39:13.000 Obviously, no one knew.
02:39:14.000 I was nobody.
02:39:16.000 But then I just remember standing with the crowd.
02:39:18.000 They canceled it.
02:39:19.000 They go, no show tonight, folks.
02:39:20.000 They told me in the audience.
02:39:22.000 And we all walked up together.
02:39:24.000 I do look romantically back on road gigs that were terrible.
02:39:28.000 I do look back on those moments where I just thought, like, what in the fuck am I doing with my life?
02:39:33.000 And now I laugh.
02:39:34.000 I do miss those.
02:39:37.000 There's something.
02:39:38.000 I not even miss them, but I'm glad I went through it.
02:39:41.000 You know, there's something about it.
02:39:42.000 Like, if you're one of those guys that is like a YouTube star, and then you become famous doing YouTube, and then the first time you do stand-up, people already know who you are, man, you're kind of fucked.
02:39:55.000 I've always thought, I would always say, I think you make it at 20 or 40, and I don't think anybody makes it in the middle.
02:40:00.000 Like, so it's either you come out of the gate and you get it immediately, or you have to wait until you're 40. If you could choose it, obviously we're all trying to make it at 20. That's the dream.
02:40:13.000 So we all start this going, because there's the guys that you're like, you never know who's going to be in the audience.
02:40:18.000 You never know.
02:40:19.000 So you think that.
02:40:21.000 And then next thing you know, you're 28, you're 33, and you're doing better, but you're not what you thought you were.
02:40:28.000 But if you wait it out, all the people that were 40, you realize that there's a lot of people that were 40 That became some of the best comedians.
02:40:37.000 Maren, you know, it took forever.
02:40:39.000 Like, I remember seeing Maren in New York and people kind of knew him because of the radio show that he was on.
02:40:45.000 But then you see it, like, really pop.
02:40:46.000 And then these people connect.
02:40:47.000 Burr was a big one.
02:40:48.000 Because I got to see Burr kind of go up to where, like, people didn't know who he was.
02:40:54.000 And then it was like everybody knew who he was.
02:40:56.000 And then he started selling out.
02:40:57.000 You know, it's like, it's a pretty interesting...
02:41:01.000 I think it's better to wait.
02:41:03.000 If you had a choice, no one has a choice in this, but the people that are forced to wait...
02:41:10.000 Tend to be better comics.
02:41:12.000 If you work on it, yeah.
02:41:14.000 If you develop.
02:41:16.000 I mean, it really is about that.
02:41:18.000 One of the things that happens to some people is they take detours and they do other things, like television shows.
02:41:23.000 And I've done that, and that does...
02:41:26.000 It can hamper your stand-up.
02:41:28.000 It most certainly can hamper it because you're so concerned with your television show and you're working on the television show all the time.
02:41:35.000 Not that it's a bad thing to complain about.
02:41:37.000 It's great to have a television show, but...
02:41:39.000 That takes away time for your stand-up.
02:41:41.000 When I was doing Fear Factor, I used to think about that sometimes.
02:41:44.000 Like, man, I could be doing stand-up right now, and instead I'm watching people eat animal dicks, and this is not helping my act, other than being able to make fun of Fear Factor.
02:41:52.000 There you go, five seconds.
02:41:52.000 That's all in your hand.
02:41:54.000 But one thing it did do is it made me appreciate, like, okay, now I know.
02:41:58.000 Okay, now I've been on a sitcom.
02:42:00.000 Now I've been a host of a game show.
02:42:02.000 And these are both great jobs to get, but I know that stand-up's better.
02:42:08.000 Now I know.
02:42:09.000 Did you do spots during those times?
02:42:10.000 I did.
02:42:11.000 Yeah.
02:42:11.000 I did a lot of spots at the store.
02:42:14.000 The news radio thing was an interesting thing because when I did that, I really slacked off.
02:42:19.000 That was long days.
02:42:21.000 Especially in the early days of news radio, when we were trying to make it work right.
02:42:26.000 Because sitcoms are complicated.
02:42:28.000 They're trying to figure out what it is and where the characters fit in.
02:42:32.000 We had 12-hour days regularly.
02:42:34.000 It was a lot of work.
02:42:36.000 Were you writing on it too?
02:42:36.000 No.
02:42:36.000 No, I wasn't writing on it.
02:42:37.000 But they did let you write.
02:42:39.000 If you had a new way to handle a scene...
02:42:42.000 Paul Sims, the guy who created it, was brilliant.
02:42:45.000 And one of the things he would do was...
02:42:47.000 Dave Foley in particular wrote a lot of shit for a lot of us.
02:42:52.000 And he rewrote a lot of scenes and rewrote a lot of entries and all kinds of different things that happened on the set.
02:42:58.000 But you were always working.
02:43:00.000 And I was tired.
02:43:01.000 So I'd go do a set, but I didn't write at all.
02:43:03.000 And the problem was I got to the point where my act was really flat.
02:43:07.000 Like I felt flat.
02:43:09.000 And then I had one night where I bombed hard in front of a couple friends of mine.
02:43:13.000 One of them was a writer and the other one was one of the producers.
02:43:16.000 I just ate shit.
02:43:17.000 And then I realized, oh my god, I am falling apart.
02:43:22.000 Either I'm going to stop doing stand-up, which wasn't an option, or I'm going to get to work.
02:43:27.000 Because I knew that I had slacked off.
02:43:30.000 I knew I hadn't put any work into it.
02:43:32.000 I knew I would go on stage without even thinking about my act until the moment I got on stage.
02:43:37.000 Yeah.
02:43:38.000 I was doing no preparation.
02:43:39.000 I was just lazy because I had another job.
02:43:43.000 I've seen that balance of having to when you do that.
02:43:46.000 And two, when you have the other job, your energy in your head, you're thinking so much in that world.
02:43:52.000 We're two different things.
02:43:54.000 I've written shows.
02:43:56.000 And you're like, when you write a show, it's just much different than writing stand-up.
02:43:58.000 And so you're kind of thinking of show world.
02:44:01.000 So then you don't come up with stuff really that would fit on stage.
02:44:04.000 For sure.
02:44:05.000 And so your brain just kind of shifts over to this.
02:44:08.000 So it's such an interesting...
02:44:15.000 It helped a little.
02:44:20.000 I did pretty good.
02:44:23.000 I wasn't famous.
02:44:25.000 I was like one of eight people on a sitcom that wasn't doing well.
02:44:30.000 Nobody was watching that show.
02:44:32.000 It was very rare that I got recognized anywhere.
02:44:35.000 Very rare.
02:44:36.000 Occasionally, someone would go, hey, yeah, fucking It wasn't like anybody knew my name.
02:44:42.000 So if they would come to see me, it was, you know, I had been doing stand-up for 10 years.
02:44:48.000 I was reasonably funny.
02:44:49.000 But then I did my first Warner Brothers thing in 1999. Did an album.
02:44:55.000 But then when I got on, Fear Factor was more of the same shit.
02:44:58.000 It was like I was so busy that for those years on Fear Factor, I didn't really tour that much.
02:45:03.000 And one of the reasons why I started touring was Dice Clay.
02:45:07.000 I met him at the Comedy Store, and I was always seeing him there, and one day he goes, you know, you should go through the fucking road.
02:45:15.000 He goes, you don't need these jerk-offs.
02:45:17.000 All these fucking people, whether or not they hire you or don't hire you, you can make good money.
02:45:21.000 You're a funny guy.
02:45:22.000 Go through the fucking road.
02:45:24.000 And I was like, yeah, I should do the road.
02:45:25.000 I'm like, I can't even believe I'm talking to Dice Clay.
02:45:28.000 You know, when I was 19 years old, I remember me and my girlfriend at the time were listening to his stand-up in a cassette in my car, giggling like little kids.
02:45:36.000 And then here I am talking to him, and he's giving me advice at the comedy store.
02:45:39.000 And he knows who you are.
02:45:40.000 Yeah.
02:45:40.000 Yeah, it's great.
02:45:41.000 And he thinks I'm funny.
02:45:42.000 So I'm like, holy shit, all right, I'll go on the road.
02:45:44.000 So I started going on the road.
02:45:45.000 And I would do, like, you know, weekends here, weekends there, but...
02:45:48.000 After Fear Factor, then I got really dedicated.
02:45:52.000 Because I had been doing it a lot in town.
02:45:54.000 I'd been doing a lot of shows at the store regularly.
02:45:56.000 And I had actually put together new material and I did well.
02:45:59.000 But my best work was all after Fear Factor was done.
02:46:03.000 Because then I was much more appreciative of it and dedicated to it.
02:46:08.000 You get to focus on it.
02:46:08.000 And get out of the road.
02:46:10.000 I think the road is gigantic.
02:46:13.000 I think I write more from the road than I did when I was in New York.
02:46:16.000 Yeah.
02:46:17.000 Because I think, A, you've got to learn how to do these longer sets, too.
02:46:20.000 Doing an hour, and that's what happens sometimes in New York.
02:46:24.000 I know a lot of New York comics can be very easy to get stuck there, where you end up doing these spots and it's a good place to be, but you're doing 15 minutes or 10 minutes.
02:46:32.000 And when I first would go out on the road and start headlining, I would be tired at 40 minutes.
02:46:38.000 You just are tired.
02:46:39.000 I wasn't used to talking that long and keeping an audience's attention that long.
02:46:45.000 It's a whole different thing.
02:46:48.000 The way you set everything up, it's so different.
02:46:51.000 That's what's fun now to go when you get to go to a theater or something and you walk out.
02:46:56.000 You know, and it's crazy.
02:46:58.000 Like, I try to never take it for granted.
02:46:59.000 You always, like, you just try to remind yourself, like, you almost, when you're there, too, you feel like they're there for someone else, which is always a very weird thing.
02:47:07.000 You're like, who's here tonight?
02:47:11.000 Because it's just so weird.
02:47:13.000 Yeah.
02:47:13.000 You know, like in your own head, you're like, dude, I stink, dude.
02:47:17.000 When you hear your name, are you still like, what?
02:47:20.000 Who?
02:47:20.000 Are they really clapping for me?
02:47:24.000 Excited.
02:47:24.000 Yes.
02:47:25.000 Crazy.
02:47:26.000 They got babysitters, man.
02:47:28.000 It becomes more, it's a show.
02:47:31.000 I always look at it as, it feels like show business.
02:47:35.000 You're going, there's union workers, there's a light guy, there's all this, and they're doing a show.
02:47:41.000 These people got babysitters.
02:47:43.000 It's like them going to Nutcracker.
02:47:45.000 They're coming to you.
02:47:47.000 It's weird.
02:47:49.000 I think that's a sign of a good artist, though.
02:47:52.000 When you have that imposter syndrome, I think that's a sign of someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.
02:47:57.000 I think I would be worried if you didn't think that way.
02:48:00.000 Yeah, who else are they coming to see?
02:48:01.000 No, but I mean, if you're like, of course they're here for me.
02:48:05.000 Of course.
02:48:06.000 I'm the fucking man.
02:48:07.000 And you walked out like...
02:48:09.000 To this day, you do better with your back in a corner.
02:48:13.000 I can always tell, I think, where I feel now.
02:48:17.000 If you feel like your comedy is trying to write a new act, and you're like, dude, I stink.
02:48:22.000 I did it.
02:48:24.000 I've done all I can do.
02:48:26.000 I don't have anything else funny anymore.
02:48:28.000 You know, you should always have that feeling because you feel your back's against the wall.
02:48:32.000 And you're like, I've got to find something.
02:48:33.000 I've got to figure something out.
02:48:34.000 This special's about to come out.
02:48:36.000 These people are going to come see me.
02:48:37.000 And they're all asking, should I watch it?
02:48:39.000 Should I not watch it?
02:48:39.000 Am I going to have any...
02:48:40.000 How much stuff do you have?
02:48:41.000 You know.
02:48:42.000 And they kind of know that now.
02:48:44.000 100%.
02:48:44.000 They used to not ever really, I think...
02:48:46.000 You know, like Seinfeld did his whole...
02:48:48.000 He was able to tour with that for 20 years.
02:48:50.000 I know, it's crazy.
02:48:51.000 And then he did two specials where he did old material on it.
02:48:54.000 One of them was, I'm telling you for the last time.
02:48:55.000 I'm like, what?
02:48:56.000 And he did it.
02:48:57.000 And they paid him millions for those specials.
02:48:59.000 Which is hilarious.
02:49:00.000 I might tell you one more time in 20 years.
02:49:03.000 I watched that in a movie theater.
02:49:06.000 No, Comedian.
02:49:07.000 Comedian was a big reason I moved to New York.
02:49:09.000 Well, one of the things that changed is podcasts...
02:49:13.000 Where comedians started having conversations like this, where people who are fans of comedy, now they get how we do it, and they get the process.
02:49:21.000 So now, when they come to see you, if you're doing like a Tuesday night at Zaney's, they know, oh, Nate's working out some shit.
02:49:27.000 They know you're up there fucking around.
02:49:29.000 If you have some notes, they don't get, oh...
02:49:31.000 You don't even remember your stuff.
02:49:32.000 They know, like, oh, you just wrote some new shit.
02:49:34.000 Like, he wants to try it out.
02:49:36.000 Like, it's different.
02:49:37.000 It's a different thing.
02:49:38.000 Like, they understand the process, and they also understand that if they see you and you have this new bit about something that just happened today, and then they see you again six months from now, they like to see where that bit has gone.
02:49:49.000 And they get to see the evolution of it and all the new tags that you've added to it and all the new places you've taken the concept of it.
02:49:55.000 Do you have stuff from the podcast?
02:49:58.000 Occasionally, there's an idea that'll pop into my head from the podcast and I have to remember to write it down.
02:50:04.000 There might be a bit there somewhere.
02:50:05.000 But it's usually like, I'm just kind of fleshing it out.
02:50:09.000 Burr's the most interesting to me because what Bill does is just rant.
02:50:14.000 I mean, I've been on his podcast, but for the most part, and he's had guests occasionally, and his wife is occasionally on his podcast, but for the most part, what it is, is Bill going, what the fuck, and just ranting for a fucking hour and a half, two hours, whatever he does,
02:50:29.000 just ranting about all kinds of different things, and it's always entertaining, but what's interesting is there's so many different concepts that come out of these two a week, he does these Yeah, Monday and Thursday.
02:50:42.000 Hour plus long rants.
02:50:44.000 And it's a brilliant way to write.
02:50:48.000 He's always got new ideas to write.
02:50:50.000 New ideas to talk about.
02:50:52.000 Well, talking and being funny, that's the thing that I miss the most about New York, is the thing that you kind of lose is the busier you get.
02:50:58.000 You get a family, you're touring, you're kind of alone.
02:51:00.000 Yeah.
02:51:01.000 And with your family versus back then when you're going out every night with each other and you've got to be funnier with each other than everybody else.
02:51:09.000 Right.
02:51:09.000 That's other comedians.
02:51:11.000 That's why the guys are so good.
02:51:15.000 Yeah.
02:51:15.000 Because you're sitting there at the table and everybody's there.
02:51:17.000 Bobby Kelly just, you know, talking shit.
02:51:20.000 Going crazy, you know, like Ben Bailey.
02:51:22.000 Ben Bailey, I used to hear, I remember hearing Ben Bailey, Greer Barnes, I think were the two, I would hear him, Murder the Hardest.
02:51:29.000 You would hear the audience downstairs and it was just something else, dude.
02:51:34.000 Like it was just, they would murder so hard.
02:51:36.000 We were at New York, it was the improv still, but now it's Broadway Comedy Club.
02:51:41.000 But the name was still the improv.
02:51:44.000 Which improv?
02:51:47.000 48th, 49th.
02:51:48.000 Is that the old improv?
02:51:49.000 No, it's not.
02:51:50.000 This was the one...
02:51:52.000 It's now Broadway Comedy Club in the exact same building.
02:51:55.000 Okay.
02:51:56.000 And so...
02:51:56.000 When did it switch over?
02:51:58.000 When was it the improv?
02:51:59.000 2005. It was the improv before.
02:52:00.000 When I got there, it was called the improv.
02:52:02.000 He got sued, I think, because he couldn't...
02:52:03.000 Al Martin owned it.
02:52:04.000 Oh, so he didn't really have the improv name?
02:52:06.000 No, no, no.
02:52:07.000 He was just putting it up there.
02:52:08.000 That's hilarious.
02:52:09.000 What the fuck is he thinking?
02:52:11.000 What the fuck is he thinking?
02:52:11.000 Well, I don't remember the whole backstory, but I remember it being, yeah, he was like, and I think they were going to sue him, and I remember them saying they were going to change the name, and then they changed it to Broadway Company Club.
02:52:19.000 That's not a bad name.
02:52:21.000 No, it was good.
02:52:22.000 But I remember it being, because we'd be upstairs running this, like, late show, and then, I don't know if you've ever been in that club, but you walk straight back, and there's a great room.
02:52:35.000 It sits probably, you know, 100 people.
02:52:37.000 And the downstairs was the picnic table room, goes deep.
02:52:41.000 And I remember you just hear Ben Bailey and Greer Barnes, dude.
02:52:44.000 I met Greer Barnes in like the early 90s.
02:52:47.000 He was killing it back then.
02:52:48.000 He's been around forever.
02:52:50.000 Yeah.
02:52:51.000 Murders, dude.
02:52:52.000 Yeah, there's always going to be those guys, you know, that have just been around for a long time.
02:52:56.000 Tony Woods?
02:52:57.000 Yeah.
02:52:58.000 Yeah.
02:52:59.000 Tony Wood's been around a long time.
02:53:01.000 He's been killing it forever.
02:53:02.000 You know how I heard that?
02:53:03.000 I thought it was the boss of Bob Marley.
02:53:05.000 Bob Marley's hilarious.
02:53:06.000 He would murder, right?
02:53:07.000 Oh my God.
02:53:08.000 Especially in Maine.
02:53:09.000 Yeah.
02:53:09.000 He's one of the rare guys.
02:53:12.000 He's a national headliner.
02:53:14.000 He could tour everywhere.
02:53:14.000 But in Maine, he does arenas.
02:53:17.000 Yeah.
02:53:18.000 I'm not joking.
02:53:19.000 He's a superstar.
02:53:20.000 He has so much Maine humor.
02:53:23.000 Like he would do shows in Maine where he would do like five shows a night.
02:53:27.000 Yeah.
02:53:27.000 Like start at like noon.
02:53:29.000 Yeah.
02:53:30.000 I'm not joking.
02:53:30.000 That's unreal.
02:53:31.000 I just do shows all day long.
02:53:33.000 Yeah.
02:53:33.000 Bobby Kelly would always tell me that.
02:53:34.000 Like he was like, dude, he goes, no one murdered like him, dude.
02:53:36.000 He goes, you would just hear him murder.
02:53:38.000 He's a very funny guy.
02:53:40.000 But also a super sweetheart of a guy, like a really nice guy.
02:53:44.000 Yeah, I've never met him, but...
02:53:45.000 I first met him, he was doing a guest set on a show I was doing in Maine in the middle of fucking nowhere.
02:53:52.000 I forget where we were.
02:53:54.000 And, you know, it was a local kid.
02:53:56.000 And, you know, we was talking about, you know, getting into...
02:53:58.000 I'm like, how have you been doing comedy?
02:54:00.000 He was like, really just starting out.
02:54:01.000 We were all just kind of just getting our feet wet on the road.
02:54:04.000 I met him out there.
02:54:05.000 And, you know, and then...
02:54:07.000 He went everywhere else.
02:54:08.000 He was out in LA for a bit and traveled around and did the road and all that, but became a fucking enigma.
02:54:17.000 There's nobody like him in terms of in one state, he's so famous.
02:54:24.000 So famous.
02:54:25.000 I mean, he's a national headliner everywhere, but in one state, he's a hundred times more famous.
02:54:29.000 Yeah.
02:54:30.000 It's a problem.
02:54:30.000 He can't go out.
02:54:31.000 Yeah.
02:54:32.000 Why would he?
02:54:33.000 Yeah, why would he?
02:54:33.000 Why would he?
02:54:34.000 He'd keep cranking out main jokes.
02:54:36.000 Yeah, it's...
02:54:37.000 This is not to compare him to...
02:54:40.000 Because it's like he's a regular comic.
02:54:42.000 But I remember thinking sometimes you would see comics, they'd have one thing that they do.
02:54:46.000 Like their hair's cut a certain way.
02:54:48.000 And it fits their act.
02:54:50.000 I have to wear this shirt because I make fun of this shirt every time.
02:54:55.000 But there was a comic in Nashville, it was an open mic a long time ago, and he had a ponytail, and he'd always do these five minutes about his ponytail.
02:55:02.000 That's all he did, every open mic.
02:55:04.000 One day he shows up, his ponytail's gone.
02:55:06.000 And we're like, what are you going to do?
02:55:09.000 And he was offended, dude.
02:55:11.000 He's like, I got other stuff, dude.
02:55:14.000 And we're like, alright.
02:55:16.000 We're so new, we're like, okay.
02:55:17.000 I used to have a ponytail.
02:55:19.000 Dude, he goes up into his new stuff and starts bombing so hard.
02:55:23.000 And he goes, so I used to have a ponytail.
02:55:26.000 And then he just does his ponytail material.
02:55:28.000 Yeah.
02:55:30.000 That's hilarious.
02:55:31.000 And I just remember that moment learning like, yeah, you don't want to do that.
02:55:35.000 You don't want to get caught.
02:55:36.000 You don't want to get caught that you can't change the way you look because I used to have a ponytail.
02:55:42.000 Bobcat Goldwaite went through that because he used to have that whole thing.
02:55:46.000 He'd go on stage like that with that crazy noises he would make.
02:55:49.000 And then he just said, fuck that.
02:55:51.000 I'm not doing that anymore.
02:55:52.000 And he would go on the road and they'd be like, hey, do the Bobcat thing.
02:55:56.000 He'd be like, no, fuck you.
02:55:58.000 I'm not doing it.
02:55:59.000 It took years for people to accept the fact that he didn't make those crazy police academy noises anymore.
02:56:06.000 I know Burr used to have trouble with just where they would...
02:56:08.000 You know when the Philadelphia thing came out?
02:56:10.000 The roast.
02:56:11.000 The roast.
02:56:12.000 Every crowd would be like, roast us!
02:56:14.000 They want him to do that.
02:56:15.000 He'd have to be like, no.
02:56:17.000 Burr always did really good at it.
02:56:18.000 I would see him go, no.
02:56:20.000 And I was like, would you not do old jokes?
02:56:23.000 You know because you have people yell out, do this, close with this.
02:56:26.000 And I'm like, would you ever do that?
02:56:29.000 And then he goes, no.
02:56:30.000 You just don't give it to him.
02:56:33.000 I learned that me and him went to Daytona 500 and Talladega.
02:56:38.000 He would always go to these sport events, so we'd go see that, which is unbelievable to go watch with NASCAR. It's just very fun.
02:56:46.000 It's crazy.
02:56:47.000 These cars are going 200 miles an hour.
02:56:49.000 They're an inch from each other.
02:56:51.000 And to be there, just how loud it is, it's just fun.
02:56:55.000 So we go.
02:56:57.000 And his special just came out, and he would do a show beforehand.
02:57:01.000 I remember we'd do the show, and his special just came out.
02:57:06.000 I mean, honestly, it was like the day before.
02:57:08.000 And then he had a whole new hour.
02:57:10.000 I was like, how do you have a new hour already?
02:57:15.000 I learned that he's almost got an hour of jokes sitting around.
02:57:20.000 You know, like you just collect.
02:57:22.000 I mean, I'm sure you do.
02:57:23.000 You just end up stuff that doesn't make specials.
02:57:26.000 That you can kind of go fall back on until you build your new...
02:57:32.000 But this hour was like...
02:57:33.000 I was like, you should save a special of that hour, dude.
02:57:35.000 Like, that hour is unbelievable.
02:57:37.000 It's a lot more, like, fun stories.
02:57:38.000 Like, you know, some just stories.
02:57:40.000 You can tell just old, kind of fun stories that he just doesn't...
02:57:45.000 Well, you know what he said once to me?
02:57:46.000 It was a really interesting point.
02:57:48.000 He said, I remember when I was a kid, I went to see bands.
02:57:50.000 And if a band would come into town and half-ass it, they just wouldn't care and wouldn't try.
02:57:55.000 I remember I felt so fucking ripped off.
02:57:57.000 And he goes, I remember thinking, I'll never do this to my fans.
02:58:01.000 I'll never fuck them over and not give them my best effort.
02:58:05.000 Yeah.
02:58:05.000 Yeah.
02:58:06.000 That's like Mickey Mantle or Joe DiMaggio.
02:58:08.000 Yes, Joe DiMaggio principal.
02:58:09.000 Someone out there is someone who hasn't seen Joe DiMaggio play, and I don't want to let him down.
02:58:14.000 Yeah.
02:58:14.000 Yeah, it's a great way of looking at it.
02:58:17.000 And again, with Bill's show, his show is so interesting because it's so different than anybody else's podcast.
02:58:24.000 There's a few other guys that are doing it that way now where they rant about things.
02:58:27.000 I think Theo Vaughn does it kind of similar.
02:58:29.000 But it gives you, like, so much stuff to think and talk about.
02:58:33.000 And it works those rant muscles, you know, where you could just...
02:58:38.000 You get your brain kind of going down a hallway and you kind of configure some other stuff out and kind of grab stuff and, like, yeah, it's great.
02:58:46.000 Yeah.
02:58:47.000 So, when is your special coming out?
02:58:50.000 March 18th.
02:58:51.000 It's Netflix?
02:58:52.000 Mm-hmm.
02:58:52.000 Netflix.
02:58:54.000 Are you happy with the audience with masks on and everything?
02:58:59.000 It kind of marks an interesting time in history.
02:59:01.000 I didn't want it to be...
02:59:03.000 I don't want it to, like, feel like a COVID special.
02:59:05.000 So, you don't want, like, someone to, like, not watch it.
02:59:07.000 Like, in a year, it's just...
02:59:09.000 They take it off Netflix.
02:59:11.000 Like, for something, they throw it away.
02:59:12.000 You're like, y'all do that?
02:59:13.000 They're like, yeah, we did it for you.
02:59:15.000 We did it.
02:59:15.000 Yeah, right.
02:59:16.000 So I was trying to make sure it didn't feel like that.
02:59:18.000 I open with stuff about COVID. And so I, you know, because I was like, you have to, you can't, I don't want to be, we're shooting a special outside in the audience's mask.
02:59:28.000 So I can't not address it.
02:59:30.000 And so I have a couple jokes that I do like, you know, five, eight minutes, something about COVID up top, very just down the middle kind of COVID. I'm not a, I don't like, I'm not a big preacher of, I don't care if you vote or not vote.
02:59:43.000 You know, you just kind of go like, I'm just making dumb jokes.
02:59:46.000 Like we talked about earlier, like being a comic that you're like, I don't know, what does it matter?
02:59:50.000 And so I feel pretty good about it.
02:59:53.000 I wish I would have had my normal run up to this material of actual indoor shows and I would have felt better.
03:00:00.000 But overall, I think it's like, you know, we had helicopters fly over.
03:00:04.000 We left it in.
03:00:05.000 Oh, wow.
03:00:05.000 Because it's like we just kind of riffed about it.
03:00:07.000 And then I found out later it was a police chase was going on.
03:00:11.000 Oh, wow.
03:00:11.000 That's why they were...
03:00:12.000 Because I was like, how are they not...
03:00:13.000 Like, what is going...
03:00:14.000 Like, one of the jokes I make about it, I was like...
03:00:19.000 One would come from here and one comes over here.
03:00:20.000 I'm like, why doesn't they talk to each other and go, hey, I'm already over here, dude.
03:00:24.000 Don't worry about it.
03:00:25.000 Because they keep coming.
03:00:27.000 I'm like, that's the main thing a helicopter does is stay in the place.
03:00:32.000 Like hover.
03:00:33.000 And hover.
03:00:34.000 Yeah.
03:00:35.000 I would just hear him go, and then a different one would come.
03:00:37.000 You're like, just stay.
03:00:38.000 Why don't you stay over there, man?
03:00:40.000 Police changes are so strange because they show them on TV, and it's so compelling.
03:00:44.000 Because you know the guy's going to get caught.
03:00:45.000 You're like, when is it going to happen?
03:00:47.000 It's the greatest.
03:00:48.000 And then finally the tire blows out, and you see the guy's driving on sparks.
03:00:52.000 Just run through a neighborhood.
03:00:53.000 And you're watching it all from one of them news helicopters, right?
03:00:56.000 So they're watching it all from the top.
03:00:58.000 News helicopters are weird too, man, right?
03:01:01.000 I mean, they're kind of in the way.
03:01:03.000 They're involved in this weird chase.
03:01:05.000 Yeah, because, I mean, I don't know if they have to go at a higher...
03:01:08.000 I wonder how they do that.
03:01:09.000 Yeah, they have to go at a higher level or something.
03:01:11.000 There must be something like that.
03:01:12.000 LA had police chases.
03:01:14.000 All the time.
03:01:15.000 All the time.
03:01:15.000 All the time.
03:01:16.000 We never really had them in Nashville.
03:01:18.000 So it was very special if one popped up.
03:01:22.000 Very special.
03:01:23.000 Yeah.
03:01:23.000 I mean, it was like a new movie dropping.
03:01:27.000 You're just glued to the TV. The big thing was always wondering if the guy was going to get caught.
03:01:33.000 Was there going to be a shootout?
03:01:34.000 Was the guy going to die?
03:01:35.000 I remember one of them, I don't know if it was a car chase or what, but there was a guy that was on a bridge with a shotgun and blew his brains out on television, and they didn't know if they should pull away or not, and they're filming it,
03:01:51.000 they didn't know what was going to happen, and then boom!
03:01:53.000 You see this guy blow his brains out on TV. That's the Erie, Pennsylvania, the documentary on Netflix in Erie, Pennsylvania.
03:02:01.000 There's a comedy club there, Juniors Comedy Club.
03:02:04.000 And you have to be clean to work that club.
03:02:07.000 But the guy that had the bomb attached to his...
03:02:11.000 Oh, that's right.
03:02:11.000 The bomb attached to his neck.
03:02:13.000 Did they ever figure that out?
03:02:14.000 Did they ever figure out who put that bomb on him?
03:02:16.000 It was that the people that were with him made him do it.
03:02:19.000 Like, I don't know if he was...
03:02:20.000 I think, you know.
03:02:22.000 He blew his brains out, right?
03:02:24.000 Yeah.
03:02:24.000 It went off.
03:02:25.000 A neck bomb.
03:02:26.000 A neck bomb.
03:02:27.000 The pizza bomb.
03:02:28.000 Or what is that what they call him or something?
03:02:29.000 Yeah.
03:02:30.000 Something like that.
03:02:30.000 Yeah.
03:02:31.000 They just sent him out there in the world.
03:02:33.000 Yeah.
03:02:34.000 Yeah, and then it ends up killing him.
03:02:36.000 What the fuck, man?
03:02:38.000 Yeah, those guys did it.
03:02:40.000 Look at the people in that fucking picture.
03:02:42.000 Look at these sketchy fucking people.
03:02:44.000 I know.
03:02:44.000 You're not surprised by any of them.
03:02:45.000 If you just saw the pictures of them, you might be able to guess what they did before you know.
03:02:51.000 So he was involved in it?
03:02:52.000 He was a part of it?
03:02:53.000 I think...
03:02:53.000 I don't...
03:02:53.000 I don't know if I remember.
03:02:55.000 I don't know if he was involved in it.
03:02:57.000 You know, almost like kind of the make and the murder, like the...
03:03:01.000 Right.
03:03:01.000 The kid, you know, where it's kind of...
03:03:03.000 Like you don't know.
03:03:04.000 You're like, maybe he was there, dude, but he doesn't really...
03:03:08.000 He didn't know what he was doing.
03:03:10.000 Or he didn't...
03:03:10.000 I don't know if he even did it.
03:03:11.000 Maybe he was just there.
03:03:12.000 Like, I don't know.
03:03:13.000 But it's like, you know, he's definitely the person that you're like, he's not...
03:03:16.000 You feel bad, the worst for.
03:03:17.000 I mean, that guy, Doc.
03:03:19.000 So...
03:03:43.000 Yeah.
03:03:45.000 Your biggest fear to hear that, you're like, how were their parents?
03:03:48.000 You're like, parents were lovely.
03:03:49.000 Like, his parents were like, they lived in a great neighborhood.
03:03:54.000 Sadly, but you do want to hear, like, how was his family?
03:03:56.000 You're like, he was raised in a tree.
03:03:58.000 And you're like, alright, we're fine.
03:04:01.000 We're good.
03:04:02.000 That is a scary thing, right?
03:04:03.000 If you're a good parent, but your kid just has a blown fuse.
03:04:06.000 Yeah, you have no idea.
03:04:07.000 Well, they always say that with school.
03:04:09.000 Like, I remember seeing a Jeffrey Dahmer's dad.
03:04:12.000 They interviewed his dad.
03:04:13.000 And they're like, is there any signs?
03:04:15.000 Like, he used to kill animals and stuff like that.
03:04:16.000 And they're like, you know, there's always signs afterwards.
03:04:20.000 Like, no one believes.
03:04:22.000 You can never imagine That your kid is going to be the most famous serial killer on earth.
03:04:27.000 You just couldn't wrap your head around that.
03:04:30.000 And his dad, he's like, yeah, he used to kill animals and stuff.
03:04:35.000 It was like the 50s.
03:04:37.000 He's like, I thought kids just did that.
03:04:39.000 I don't know if he knew that it was going to get to...
03:04:43.000 Because you can't imagine.
03:04:44.000 Yeah, and that was the thing with Jeffrey Dahmer, too.
03:04:46.000 He's like one of the first guys that ate people.
03:04:48.000 Yeah, it's a lot.
03:04:49.000 Remember your son is like one of the first serial killers that was eating his victims?
03:04:53.000 He fucked them and he ate them.
03:04:57.000 At least he's kind of like using everything, right?
03:05:02.000 Yeah.
03:05:02.000 It's very green.
03:05:03.000 It's like hunting.
03:05:04.000 Yeah, it's like he was ahead of his time.
03:05:06.000 You're like, wow, all right.
03:05:08.000 He's an organic serial killer.
03:05:11.000 He would keep them in like barrels, like sealed barrels in his house.
03:05:17.000 Imagine that's your boy.
03:05:18.000 That's your little baby boy.
03:05:20.000 Like, you're throwing cats with him out in the yard.
03:05:22.000 Alright, Jeff.
03:05:23.000 Time to get ready to go to school.
03:05:25.000 Come on, Jeff.
03:05:25.000 First day of school with Jeff.
03:05:27.000 Like, wow.
03:05:28.000 He bit somebody.
03:05:29.000 Did he?
03:05:30.000 Killed a squirrel today during recess.
03:05:33.000 Yeah, they got kids, you know.
03:05:35.000 He just gets in the car.
03:05:36.000 Kids will be kids.
03:05:38.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
03:05:40.000 I don't know if his family would have just...
03:05:43.000 Would you ever even have pictures of him?
03:05:44.000 That's a lot to deal with.
03:05:46.000 That's like the Iceman.
03:05:46.000 The Iceman, that guy...
03:05:47.000 Richard Kuklinski?
03:05:48.000 Yeah, he had a family.
03:05:50.000 Yeah, he had a wife and children.
03:05:53.000 Yeah, and to have no idea...
03:05:57.000 I think he was abusive to his wife, I'm sure.
03:06:00.000 She would be surprised to the extent, but it wasn't probably like she's like, yeah, he's crazy.
03:06:09.000 Yeah, that guy scared the fuck out of me because the way he would be so calm about the way he murdered people, he'd be like, and he was abuse.
03:06:18.000 His father abused the fuck out of him, and that turned him into that kind of a monster.
03:06:23.000 If you abuse a kid that much when they're young and you make them angry and mean and vicious when they're that young and then they grow up to do something like that.
03:06:31.000 A pit bull is like a dog.
03:06:34.000 It's the longest thing.
03:06:35.000 You're just training it to be a problem.
03:06:39.000 Well, dude, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
03:06:41.000 Let's wrap this bitch up.
03:06:43.000 Your special April...
03:06:45.000 No, March.
03:06:46.000 March 18th.
03:06:48.000 It's Thursday.
03:06:49.000 This Thursday?
03:06:50.000 Oh.
03:06:50.000 Thursday.
03:06:50.000 Okay, so as of the day this podcast comes out, it'll be tomorrow.
03:06:55.000 Yeah.
03:06:56.000 So, yeah.
03:06:56.000 Yeah.
03:06:57.000 Alright, brother.
03:06:58.000 Yeah, man.
03:06:58.000 Thanks, man.
03:06:59.000 Well, my pleasure.
03:06:59.000 Let's do it again.
03:07:00.000 I would love it, dude.
03:07:01.000 I would love it.
03:07:01.000 Yeah, Nashville's a hop, skip, and a jump away from here.
03:07:03.000 Come on down.
03:07:04.000 Your face is on the wall.
03:07:06.000 I know.
03:07:06.000 I've got to come down to Zany's.
03:07:07.000 The dump truck ran through my face.
03:07:09.000 Did it run through your face?
03:07:10.000 Did you see the picture of the dump truck?
03:07:11.000 I did.
03:07:11.000 It only went through my face.
03:07:13.000 Did it?
03:07:13.000 Really?
03:07:14.000 That was your face?
03:07:14.000 Just my face.
03:07:15.000 They fixed it pretty quick.
03:07:16.000 They did really good.
03:07:17.000 They sold out show that weekend, so they got it going.
03:07:19.000 Really?
03:07:20.000 They put like wall up, you know, sold out of them, whatever, the scents have sold out now, but yeah, they put like a, like, you know, dry, like something to make it real quick.
03:07:29.000 Are you happier?
03:07:30.000 Oh, you and John Witherspoon.
03:07:32.000 Got a little John's cheek and then just...
03:07:34.000 Are you happy with the new painting or do you like the old painting?
03:07:38.000 No, no, I'm happy with a new one.
03:07:39.000 I actually had him change the picture.
03:07:40.000 He grabbed the picture because of the old picture that he had and I had him change the picture.
03:07:43.000 Dude, the news was down there every day.
03:07:45.000 What happened with the guy who drove the truck?
03:07:48.000 He was going to a port-a-john to the bathroom and he walks out and doesn't put a neutral in it.
03:07:54.000 Oh, it just rolled.
03:07:55.000 Just rolled.
03:07:57.000 And it's a big one.
03:07:58.000 March 18th.
03:07:59.000 So as of the day this podcast comes out, it'll be out tomorrow.
03:08:02.000 So thank you, Nate.
03:08:03.000 Thank you, brother.
03:08:04.000 Appreciate it.
03:08:05.000 Bye, everybody.