On this week's episode, the brother and sister duo of the sit down and discuss a variety of topics including: 1. Who has a mullet that can compete with Jeff Foxworthy? 2. How long should it be? 3. What s the worst thing a person can do with their hair? 4. Can you be a man bun? 5. Is it a good idea to shave your head? 6. How much money should you pay to have your hair cut? 7. How often should you go to the barber? 8. Should you shave your hair or not? 9. What is the best type of hair you can have? 10. Who is the first person in the comedy world to have a m mullet? 11. Who's the first comedian with a moustache? 12. What's the best thing a guy can say about a woman? 13. What are the worst things a woman can do in comedy? 14. What do you think about a guy who has a beard? 15. Can he or can't he be a good dude? 16. Is he a good guy? 17. Does he look good in a baseball hat? 18. What kind of hair do you like? 19. What does he do with his beard or does he look like a girl? 20. Do you like the color? 21. How does he feel about his mullet?? 22. Is he good looking or bad looking? ? Do you think he's funny? or not good looking or is he's not good enough? 25. What can you tell me what he's good? 26. What would you like to see in a woman like that? 27. What type of guy you like in a shirt he's better than another guy that has a mullet ? 28. Who are you looking at me right now? 29. What should I do with your head or not or do you have one that's good enough to have one like that ? or are you better than he's got one that you like it? & much better than someone who has one that looks like that you don't have one? and so on, etc, etc etc. etc., etc. & so much more! We hope you enjoy this episode we hope you guys enjoy it!
00:12:45.000You know, this whole Triller Fight Club thing is like, you know, you got like rap music and a bunch of other shit and you got this Triller company, which a friend of mine who works in finance explained to me what Triller was.
00:12:56.000The Triller, verify this, see if this is true.
00:12:59.000They were originally poised, they put together a company.
00:13:09.000They put together this company because TikTok was about to be banned from the United States.
00:13:13.000And when TikTok was about to be banned, and Josh Rogan, the journalist, explained to us that clusterfuck, that they almost had it banned, but then they tried to capitalize on it and make money and sell it to Oracles.
00:14:43.000I didn't want to stutter over the words, but he was using that instead of TikTok, and that's how his songs were getting big a year or two ago.
00:14:51.000And I feel like people were telling him, you should be on TikTok, and he's like, fuck that, I'm using Triller.
00:14:55.000And the reason that the TikTok thing was going to get curbed was because they believed that it was, because it's a Chinese app, so they're like...
00:19:20.000If you said, if someone said, yeah, young, healthy, 21-year-old people who eat well and exercise are not at high risk for coronavirus, but you should think about other people, I would say, well, that's a different argument, and yes, that makes sense.
00:19:36.000But I would say, aren't those people vaccinated?
00:19:38.000And shouldn't we vaccinate the vulnerable people?
00:19:40.000And then we'd have a different conversation.
00:19:42.000The problem is today, everything is all headlines and highlights and it's all clickbait, which is fine.
00:21:27.000Any medication, again, I'm not a doctor, I'm a fucking moron, and I'm a cage-fighting commentator who's a dirty stand-up comedian who just told you I'm drunk most of the time, and I do testosterone and I smoke a lot of weed, but I'm not a respected source of information,
00:24:52.000And you didn't have any money and you had to walk miles to school and you didn't have money for pencils and paper, that's the worst thing that's happened to you.
00:25:01.000Or if somebody, you know, says something mean about you being maybe 10 pounds overweight and you're triggered.
00:25:14.000Like, it's like, we judge everything on a curve.
00:25:16.000So the worst thing that happened to you if it's a terrible atrocity or the worst thing that happened to you is, like, someone saying you're chubby.
00:25:31.000Well, we also live in our own little bubble, right?
00:25:33.000Like, we only know what we know, and we've only...
00:25:36.000That phrase also, Matt, is the same meaning of, I can't relate to what it's like to grow up without a family in an orphanage struggling to eat.
00:27:19.000I think he just didn't understand the animal that he was dealing with.
00:27:22.000He didn't understand that they want to burn to the ground because they're fucking losers.
00:27:26.000Those people are fucking losers and they don't want society to exist.
00:27:31.000They want everybody to be burned down to their level.
00:27:35.000They want to dress in black and throw rocks through Starbucks and it doesn't make any sense because it doesn't have to make any sense because they found another tribe of losers.
00:27:44.000They all get together and they all do the same thing.
00:27:46.000They throw cement milkshakes at people, they beat up folks, they do their thing and it's fun because it's more fun than not doing that because they don't have anything.
00:27:55.000Outside of that, do you remember there was a guy, it was either Seattle or Portland, who was this crazy Antifa guy who wound up shooting some other guy who was a member of this right-wing thing?
00:28:07.000And then there's this lady, just fat lady, like, you know, no respect for her body, in the middle of the street going, I don't give a damn if some fascist was killed tonight.
00:29:51.000When you look at these foreign governments that hire these mercenary crews to come in and get rid of dissidents, what do you think they're doing?
00:30:26.000There's a video on D.L. Hughley's page today of some piece of shit cop talking to these really cool black guys who are friendly with him, and these guys shake their hand, and he's like, I don't know you.
00:31:34.000So a lot of guys that are assholes that are cops, which is not all cops, obviously, these guys, they've been empowered for so long to treat people the way they've treated them, so they get more and more and more, because that's okay.
00:32:01.000You know, there's a great video from Flint last year during the George Floyd protests where this one cop says, hey, we're gonna walk with you guys.
00:32:21.000Cops dealing with crime is like, let's say you have a forest filled with dry old trees that will light on fire easily and say, how are we going to take care of these forest fires?
00:34:03.000I'm scared to really do my job, quote-unquote, whatever that's become now, because I don't know what's okay and what's not okay.
00:34:10.000You can follow protocol, but any cop will tell you, There's a way that they deal with relationships and communities that we don't know about because it's not in the handbook.
00:34:21.000There's so many misnomers in how these relationships coexist, but to blanket it all and be like, every cop's a piece of shit, every cop is racist.
00:34:32.000You can't say everything is everything.
00:34:34.000But when you're accustomed, if you grow up in a community that's riddled with crime and gangs and drugs and violence and you're accustomed to cops being cunts, then you feel like you have to say that.
00:35:05.000The root of the problem is, unlike you or me, some people grow up in the worst fucking neighborhoods on earth.
00:35:13.000And there's no effort whatsoever on a federal level to eradicate that, to fix that, to make these places safer, to make these places more comfortable for these people.
00:35:24.000What we have to do is figure out, well, why are these neighborhoods, whether it's the south side of Chicago or whether it's Baltimore or Detroit or whatever, you take the most fucked up neighborhoods in our country and go, why are they still like this and how come we haven't fixed that?
00:35:50.000Well, one of the things that makes a loser is if one person gets four aces and the other person gets two cards and they're both ones, or it's a one and a two, you ain't doing shit with that.
00:36:04.000And that's the reality of birth in this country.
00:36:07.000Now some people that got given a shitty deck of cards also have like maybe some talent in music or some talent in comedy or some talent in athletics and they figure their way through.
00:36:18.000But for every person that figures their way through, you know what it's like man?
00:36:34.000Well, multiply that times like, what the fuck ever, thousands?
00:36:38.000That's what it's like growing up in a terrible neighborhood.
00:36:40.000For every one person that gets out and becomes some sort of an NFL superstar or some rapper or a comic, how many of them fall into a life of crime and wind up being incarcerated?
00:36:51.000How many of them wind up falling into this trap that they can't get out of?
00:37:12.000So, when you have no money and you get a little bit of money, that can also fuck you up just as bad.
00:37:18.000It's a scary thing because you've never had money before.
00:37:22.000That's why the NFL, the NBA, and all these places, they're trying to have these programs at a younger age to teach these kids not to go fucking throw away the money because there's no guarantee over that shit at some point.
00:37:32.000Well, the NBA has less of a problem than the NFL, in my opinion, because the NFL also has head injuries.
00:39:45.000You know, whatever you say about Colin Kaepernick as an athlete or what he did, what that guy did, for sure, was highlight this ability to protest and make people even more aware that these athletes were talking about it.
00:40:00.000That these pro-NFL athletes, top of the food chain athletes, were talking about police brutality.
00:40:06.000And he decided to do something about it.
00:40:25.000How much shit did he get, you know, trying to be a part of the civil rights movement, and people just fucking hated him for changing his name, and he got all this shit for that.
00:40:35.000Now you look at him as a hero to a community that was, he gave people a fucking voice.
00:40:42.000You know, and when I was a kid, they didn't watch sports, but they wanted to watch Muhammad Ali when he defended his title against, no, excuse me, when he tried to regain his title against Leon Spinks.
00:40:54.000When Leon Spinks had beaten Muhammad Ali, and then Muhammad Ali had a rematch with Leon Spinks, my parents wanted to watch.
00:41:28.000He became a guy who stood up and said, I don't think this war is just and I'm not going to participate and I'm going to make a real sacrifice where I'm going to lose my career for three fucking years.
00:41:40.000So he didn't fight at all for three years.
00:41:43.000And when he came back, if you watch his fights when he came back, he fought against, I think Cleveland Big Cat Williams was his fight, the last fight that he had in 67. And then in 1970 when he came back, I think it was Jerry Quarry.
00:42:08.000He didn't train at all for three fucking years.
00:42:10.000So he went from being literally one of the slickest, fastest boxers the heavyweight division had ever seen to no training at all for three years.
00:42:42.000No one had seen anything, and he was shredded.
00:42:44.000And then when he came back, it was like three years of his life were gone, man.
00:42:48.000He was just so busy trying to avoid being locked in a cage and trying to express himself and trying to get out the message that no Viet Cong ever did anything to me.
00:42:58.000He's like, why am I supposed to go over there and kill these people?
00:43:01.000You want to use me as some sort of a publicity tool to go over there and fight in a war?
00:44:05.000The moment that changed my life emotionally was my mom said to me one day, she goes, like my first album that I ever made, And she was like, she repeated a joke back to me, out of the blue.
00:46:24.000I believe you have to have some sort of exterior struggle, some sort of outside struggle, outside of the fame that you focus your energy on so that the fame seems like not that big a deal.
00:48:26.000When people dunk on you online and people shit on you, sometimes it's people that have been on my podcast and I'll see them shitting on me online or someone will tell me about it and I'll go...
00:51:08.000So good minds, best golfers are able to just and disappear that stuff.
00:51:13.000So it's teaching you these philosophies in life that you can use as far as like when something negative happens to you, when somebody says some fucked up shit to you, don't take it personally.
00:51:20.000How do you learn to just throw that away and move forward?
00:52:19.000Instead of that, just concentrate on what you're trying to do.
00:52:21.000And when you make a mistake, one of the good things about mistakes, especially embarrassing and humiliating mistakes, is they empower you to do better.
00:52:37.000It's so good for you because when you do bomb, you learn like, oh my god, what did I do wrong?
00:52:42.000I don't ever want to feel that fucking terrible pain again.
00:52:44.000The first time I followed Diaz, the first time I followed Diaz in the OR, I was, you know, it was like the best spot I had gotten in years, you know, because I got regular status in 010 or 09 or 2010. You want a cigar?
00:53:49.000I was talking to a buddy of mine who takes this guy on the road with him, or was taking this guy on the road with him for a while, and I said, hey, how's that guy doing?
00:54:01.000But some guys, when you take them on the road with you, one of the things that happens is they stop doing other sets.
00:54:06.000So, like, say they go on the road with you, and they're doing, you know, fucking Zanies in Nashville, and they're doing the improv in Chicago, they're doing these nice clubs, and then they come back, and they don't want to put in for a Tuesday night.
00:54:20.000And those are the guys, they develop a little bit of an act, I've had a few of those guys that I had to cut loose and they kept trying to go back on the road with me.
00:54:27.000I'm like, hey motherfucker, I saw you on the OR like a month ago and you were doing some shit you did on the road with me seven years ago.
00:54:40.000The guy that I have with me, this guy that I brought, Chris O'Connor, who opens for me, he's a great comic.
00:54:46.000It's hard for me to say that when I'm like, oh, he features me.
00:54:48.000He's a headlining comic of his own right, but he always has new stuff and I think what I appreciated about when I would come out with you was, you never were somebody, first of all, you were never a clock watcher, which I'm always so nervous about.
00:55:52.000Instead of, there's guys that we both know that take out fucking people that struggle and you're like, why are you taking out someone that's not writing new jokes enough?
00:59:18.000You know, like, I love the people that run the store, and I'll support the store, and I'll say this to all the people that are working there.
01:00:19.000I want you to figure out this weird puzzle that is...
01:00:22.000Your own personality dynamics, and your past, and your life, and your neediness, and your weirdness, and your need to be accepted, and you need to be a part of a community, and then just build this community that fully embraces everybody that tries to do that.
01:04:27.000So the way cowboy boots work, they slip on and slip off.
01:04:30.000So if a fucking horse is taken off and you get flung off, your boot just goes flying off.
01:04:37.000That's like when you see someone get in a motorcycle accident, their shoes always come fucking off.
01:04:41.000That's the first thing that they see is shoes.
01:04:42.000There was a dude on TikTok had his rear view camera and he was talking to it and he's like, look at how this asshole's following me so close.
01:04:49.000This bike was kind of getting up on him.
01:08:07.000There's a guy who's a security expert who sent me an email yesterday showing me how things have been decriminalized and some of the things have been literally invasions into your home by people who are intoxicated.
01:08:20.000So if someone invades your home and they're under the influence of drugs, so all you have to do is do coke and kick someone's door down.
01:08:31.000He was sending me this thing describing me like all these things, not describing just me, but he was basically, he's a security expert and it was a detailed analysis of all the problems that have incurred over the pandemic.
01:08:42.000He said it's like nothing we've ever seen in our lifetimes.
01:08:45.000Yeah, LA's a fucking nightmare right now.
01:08:51.000I mean, when I moved in 06 to LA, I remember the store was dark as fucking night.
01:08:57.000It was gross and weird and negative and fucked up and sunset still was like a little fucked up and nasty and they hadn't really, things hadn't started to level out.
01:09:07.000What time did you go to the store though?
01:09:09.000The store was good until 07. Mmm, I don't know about good, but I mean it was like, I mean for an open miker, it was still a fucking awful place.
01:10:48.000But I talked to John Hennessy, and he told me that the problem is that Hennessy, when they tried to come up with names, A lot of them were already taken.
01:10:58.000For the Raptor, he calls it the Velociraptor, and he jacks up the horsepower.
01:12:01.000It was like, so the intro to my comedy special was me, high as fuck, wearing a NASA outfit, asleep in a field, and I wake up and I jump in a Hellcat and I drive to the Comedy Works.
01:16:48.000But I don't want the car to get in to just automatically go.
01:16:50.000I used to enjoy going home from the comedy store if I was a little bit tired and I was driving home at night, like I did a late spot and it's like one o'clock in the morning.
01:23:47.000I did an experiment about a year ago where I posted something and then I just kept clicking and took how much time it took before I saw a real comment.
01:25:24.000She really is lonely and she's a long, hard dick.
01:25:26.000In fact, the bots have gotten so fucking good now.
01:25:29.000Like, I've even seen, if a bot will comment on my page, I just automatically, I like see it, it'll come up and I'm like, alright, fucking gone.
01:25:37.000If you click on these bot pages now, not like that anymore.
01:25:42.000They're 50 to 100 pictures, generated photos, and they have other bots that comment on their pages, but they're trying to, the algorithms are trying to create them, so they say real shit, like, see you in Texas next month, girly.
01:25:54.000Oh, so then you go to that, and you go, oh, I'll follow her, look at that ass.
01:26:02.000And people are doing it, why wouldn't?
01:26:04.000Some lonely dude, you think you're not gonna trick?
01:26:06.000I mean, anytime you see a commercial late at night, you know, you're watching TV late at night and you're like, who's buying this fucking bullshit?
01:26:12.000Right, who is buying this fucking bullshit?
01:27:45.000I'm going to rub people, but I need to go to the government first.
01:27:48.000Along with 5,080 cases in which the charge was loitering for the purpose of prostitution, the law made the latter charge a crime, which had become known as the walking while trans law.
01:29:08.000I was just trying to have fun when the New York waged a war against prostitution in an effort to clean up its image as the center of iniquity.
01:29:43.000Over the last decade, we've learned from those with lived experience and from our own experience on the ground, criminally prosecuting prostitution does not make us safer and too often achieves the opposite results by further marginalizing vulnerable New Yorkers.
01:30:34.000Okay, let me tell everybody what you did.
01:30:35.000You made a fist with your knuckle under your fingers instead of over your fingers, which is how my kids thought you're supposed to punch people when I was first teaching them karate.
01:33:13.000There's a couple security things that have been caught where a girl gets taken in somewhere, and the guy goes to the bathroom, and she's playing, like, give me a pizza.
01:33:22.000And they're like, what do you want a pizza?
01:36:21.000Keys for Change, maybe, I think that's what it's called, where they were implementing during the pandemic hotels that had no occupancy, that the city was subsidizing these hotels, giving them money so homeless and people with mental health issues and drug addictions could stay in these hotel rooms, right, at a cost to the hotel,
01:36:39.000and they would get paid from the city.
01:36:42.000They then found out, you can look up the articles about it, so many of these fucking chains were not giving any of these rooms to people, and they were keeping the money.
01:36:48.000It was like, so my beef with any of this stuff...
01:36:51.000Yes, it's the same thing as someone I know works with LAUSD. The school system is fucked for these same reasons.
01:36:58.000The money is being thrown into these areas, but it's being thrown by this big blanket.
01:37:06.000So when we say stuff like, I want to help these people, I want to get them off, the problem is the bureaucracy of these fucking systems is way too big and they don't really work.
01:38:02.000Because that's not what the problem is.
01:38:03.000The problem is it becomes a bureaucratic institution and then a bunch of people, that's their job, is to deal with the homeless situation and they never deal with it.
01:41:11.000When someone rises like Thug Rose or Kamaru Usman or someone rises to the occasion, I will never stop loving it.
01:41:17.000I've been doing this shit for so long and I can't help myself.
01:41:21.000I will say, when we were on tour and we would go do a show and then UFC the next night, I will be genuine.
01:41:27.000Like, watching you as a friend, watching what you would do, the way you would act, The day of the fight was very interesting to see from an inside-outside.
01:41:36.000Like, I'm inside because we're friends, but I'm outside because I'm still a spectator and I'm watching the sport and loving it.
01:41:43.000The excitement you had day of is similar to how it felt when we were doing shows.
01:42:06.000When I do it, like no bullshit, I realize that these fucking people have poured their life into this.
01:42:13.000The last 6, 8, 12 weeks, whatever the camp's been, and then all their years of training, their whole life of training, that's their moment, man.
01:43:56.000Super necessary is like when Masvidal knocked out Ben Askren, he hit him with a flying knee and he punched him a bunch of times on the ground and the reporters asked him, is it necessary for you to keep punching him like that?
01:44:36.000When I was in a trance, everything was so crazy, and you guys are right.
01:44:40.000Yeah, I did say that I wasn't going to interview people after the fight, but guess what?
01:44:43.000I'm glad I did, because whether it was Zhang Weili or whether it was Askren or rather Masvidal getting KO'd like that, Masvidal had the classiest response ever.
01:44:55.000I've ever experienced with a guy, talked so much shit, hyped up a fight, did what he did, fought his heart out, got knocked the fuck out with one punch, and was all class.
01:45:45.000He enjoys fighting, win or lose, and he's lost before.
01:45:49.000He had a fight with Anthony Pettis, and it was a real close fight, and I kind of thought he should have got the nod, and a lot of people did too, but it was real close.
01:45:56.000And afterwards, he's like, you know me, man, I fucking love this shit.
01:46:07.000But I guess what I'm saying is, like, back in the day, when there was all this criticism of UFC, when people didn't know what they were talking about, the idea was, oh, all these guys are just fucking animals.
01:47:03.000He brought, Chael Sonnen brought legit, like, top of the food chain pro wrestling antics to real MMA fights, and he made a fuckload of money because of it.
01:48:29.000You've got to understand, the amount of opposition that guy's faced from the jump He went right into the UFC. I forget he fought a Brazilian gentleman.
01:48:46.000He has one loss, and that loss is not a real loss.
01:48:49.000It was a disqualification, because he was smashing Matt Hamill, and they said that he did a 12-6 elbow.
01:48:55.000And the referee is, like, openly criticized for that decision of stopping that fight there, because John was completely dominant in that fight, and they gave the decision to Matt Hamill.
01:49:03.000So John smashed him, beat the fuck out of him, and lost his win money.
01:51:05.000Soccer kicks to the head like that, knees to the head like that, and stomps, that is like literally the worst thing you could ever do to a person.
01:51:11.000I gotta be honest though, his form, the kick is great.
01:51:14.000The Chicago Bears are looking for a new kicker.
01:53:38.000If you find out that one of the hottest girls that ever compete in MMA, Paige Van Zandt, is going to fight bare knuckle against some other very pretty girl, there's an added value to that.
01:53:48.000And there's also an added value to the idea that they're boxing bare knuckle because it's so crazy and it's a new thing.
01:55:57.000Yeah, but the punches are already doing that, right?
01:56:00.000The argument is, you can't punch as hard with bare knuckles, so maybe even you take in less trauma.
01:56:07.000The argument of MMA versus boxing is actually that boxing, they can only punch, so they punch each other more in the head, and then there's no leg kicks, no takedowns, and so it's more impactful than...
01:56:26.000I think I talked about this last time we were here, because we were talking about UFC and hockey.
01:56:32.000There was this big argument that fights, they were going to get rid of fighting because it was causing Serious brain damage and brain injury when, in fact, this documentary I watched, it's been proven the biggest traumatic brain injury in the NHL is hits against the boards.
01:56:53.000Board checks, by far, caused the most brain smash.
01:56:56.000You don't have to get hit in the head.
01:56:57.000My friend, Dr. Mark Gordon, who is an expert in traumatic brain injury, and he's one of the people that runs Warrior Angel Foundation that helps a lot of soldiers and guys who are blowing up doors and shit like that.
01:57:10.000And he's also worked with football players and now fighters.
01:57:14.000He's like, dude, you can get brain damage.
01:58:04.000It's apparently super bad for kids, and as they get older, if they've been heading the ball in practice day after day after day, you know, fucking 250 days a year, they get brain damaged.
01:58:14.000Well, this is the same thing with rugby versus the NFL, right?
01:58:16.000The NFL, because of the pads, they say the better the pads have become, the harder the hits have become.
01:58:29.000That you should be able to not have gloves because it'll give you a more realistic sense of what you can do with your hands.
01:58:35.000Because there's some guys that have just like fucking brutally strong hands and they don't care and they can punch things like they don't...
01:58:40.000My friend Mike, I was buddies with a guy who was a pro boxer, Mike Blythe.
01:58:44.000Shout out to Mike Blythe from South Boston.
01:58:47.000And Mike would practice on a heavy bag, a hard heavy bag, bare knuckle.
02:00:46.000So the worry was, and it happened all the time, that you would kick someone and you would catch an elbow or you'd catch a knee on your shin and it would fuck your shins up.
02:00:54.000Yeah, or you would clash, like sometimes you would clash, like from my friend Dimitri, he was way bigger than me, he was a heavyweight, and I was, uh, at the time I was fighting like 154, and he was a, just a guerrilla, big fucking Russian dude.
02:01:35.000Because I was going to the tournament the next day, and I had finally made the weight, and I called him up fucking screaming, I'm going to fuck everybody I was like so pumped up and then I was so tired the next day because I actually had to weigh in at 140. So I lost all this weight.
02:01:48.000I got really worked up and pumped up and I didn't drink any water because I was really like 154 or something like that or 150 and I lost weight to get down there.
02:01:58.000I just fucking like shadow box in the hot shower.
02:02:01.000I got in a hot shower and I shadow boxed and I just wore like a bunch of different layers of clothes and I just kept weighing myself until the night before until I shed all the water to make weight.
02:02:14.000But then I went up to 154 and that's when I was way better at 154 than I ever was at 140. Anyway, me and this dude we sparred and we kicked at the same time and I broke my fibula.
02:02:26.000So it's like there's a tibia which is the big bone on the shin and his heel Slammed into my little bone, and it cracked it.
02:02:34.000And I remember, I was like, oh, this is a different thing.
02:02:38.000I thought it was just a bruise, and I was like, oh.
02:02:41.000Because I had one bone that was good, and one bone that was cracked.
02:05:17.000People, I mean, you talk about a dude who's a pioneer, tapped Brock Lesnar with a fucking leg lock, the first time Brock ever fought in the UFC. Remember that?
02:07:26.000You're going to buy tissue paper or you're going to buy Kleenex.
02:07:28.000You're going to watch football or you're going to watch the NFL. You're going to watch MMA or you're going to watch the fucking UFC. You're going to watch the UFC. Especially when they put on a product like they did this last weekend when Usman knocks Masvidal out with one punch like that.
02:08:40.000For a guy, for male basketball players, Going to Europe or going overseas is still a good venture if the NBA isn't doing what you need it to do for you.
02:08:51.000But for the women, they can make so much more money over there than they can over here.
02:11:05.000Yeah, but you need to explain to Joe the difference of that.
02:11:08.000A $6.9 million purse of Valspar, first of all, it's divvied up by the top 50 to 100, depending on each tournament.
02:11:16.000So the top guy will make a couple million, and then as you go down, it exponentially goes lower and lower.
02:11:22.000The last place who makes the final cut, the final day, which is the fourth day, you have to make it to the third cut, he probably makes 50 Gs, maybe?
02:12:06.000To go from a scratch golfer who shoots par to go to somebody that shoots two under, three under, four under, five under, six under consistently, it's so fucking hard to do that week after week after week after week that that's why these guys, like him, this kid who's a brilliant story, they come and they go and they come and they go.
02:12:21.000It's just so hard to even get in, let alone be top 50, let alone be top 25. Top 10 is absurdist.
02:12:37.000The competition level once you get past the cut line is, it's absurd.
02:12:42.000Like, these guys were coming to play Riviera in Los Angeles, and I played at this golf course with Pat Perez, who's a fucking Greek golfer.
02:13:59.000He'd be crossing someone up and then just be like, I'm gonna hit it from 18 feet and then take him to 18 feet and hit it in their fucking face.
02:14:06.000Like a computer made him do it as if it's pre-programmed.
02:14:09.000There's people that just hit levels where you just go, oh, I didn't even know that was possible.
02:16:33.000If you want to look at one country that had the biggest influence on pool outside the United States, I think you'd universally go to the Philippines.
02:17:11.000So these guys developed a better stroke.
02:17:13.000They developed a more relaxed stroke, and a lot of them used heavier cues, and the idea was to move the ball around the table Effortlessly.
02:17:21.000Not with muscle like a lot of Americans did it, but they would use the weight of the cue.
02:17:26.000Almost like they were throwing the cue into the ball with this crazy technique.
02:17:30.000And then they came over to America and started gambling.
02:18:16.000Yeah, it doesn't have a year for that.
02:18:18.000Well, he came over at Cesar Morales, and he gambled a lot of people, like big-name professional people in America, and that was what Poole really—Poole, the name Poole—pock or billiards is the game.
02:18:30.000Poole is a term for pooling up your money to gamble.
02:18:36.000So when he came over from the Philippines, they came over with a bunch of rich financial backers from the Philippines to gamble money because they knew how good he was.
02:19:15.000A lot of them have rich financial backers, like some guy who owns a fucking insurance company, loves the game, comes in and gambles money, and they work out a deal.
02:19:23.000Like, if we win, I give you X amount percentage.
02:19:48.000The thing that we used to have a problem with at the pool hall was guys wanted to come and play cards.
02:19:53.000So they would have a problem where these tables would be filled up with guys playing cards and guys didn't even want to play pool anymore because you don't have to fucking make the shot when you're playing cards.
02:20:03.000So it's still gambling, but you don't have to execute.
02:20:07.000So you can just revel in the thrill of gambling money and all the craziness that's involved in being a gambling addict, but you don't have to execute on a shot.
02:20:16.000So if there's a nine ball, and it's on the rail, and it's past the side pocket, and you have to figure out if you want to cut that motherfucker down, the long rail for the cheese, you've got to have some balls.
02:22:11.000You know, people play it when they're drunk, you know?
02:22:14.000Well, every time I go with you, I get fucking shit-faced, and then we play, and then you fucking whoop our ass.
02:22:18.000But it's the game where people play in bars a lot, you know?
02:22:21.000Yeah, but I love, but see, in the Midwest, where I come from, where this trash bag comes from, we play, isn't that right, you Midwest piece of shit?
02:24:52.000I'd play a match, and if I won, if I was fortunate enough to win, I'd sit down and watch all these other people play.
02:24:58.000Generally speaking, I was like one and done.
02:25:00.000I usually either lose my first match or I win one and then lose my second match.
02:25:06.000I never came close to winning the tournament, but I had a bunch of friends that were like legit pros that won the tournament, and I'd go and watch all the time.
02:28:28.000You have to get it to bounce off the wall and hit the other way?
02:28:31.000The only way that any professional has ever said a 7-10 split can work is you have to hit the 7 or the 10 pin at an angle to kick off the wall and be lucky enough that usually, which is even crazier, you can look it up, there's a back flap.
02:36:58.000Like, when you put an arrow, it's actually called a bolt, in a crossbow because it's shorter than an arrow, and you have to grab a fucking handle and, like, click!
02:37:24.000I'm thinking, I don't want to be the same, but I was like, man, a bat would be good, but then if you don't kill one, you're fucked right away.
02:39:49.000Well, because this thing with the network thing that we did in Hollywood was like seven seasons and a movie, and then you get syndication and 100 episodes.
02:41:59.000Actually, my favorite thing that he ever did was Best in Show.
02:42:02.000It's fucking hilarious the best line he ever had that made me have tears I had tears in my eyes as he goes He's like he's got these big teeth and he's interviewing and he's like wow you know in high school You know they call me loopy you know because they said that I couldn't dance I had two left feet and then the camera slowly pans down and he actually as he goes and I do I have two left I actually was born unfortunately with two left two left feet it was just such a fucking perfect CCTV Canadian comedy.
02:42:27.000I mean, like, they were so good at that, all those guys.
02:42:31.000It was just so specific and weird and quirky.
02:42:34.000But anyway, he said, I'm making a show with my dad, and I thought, good luck, man.
02:52:03.000Do you see the look on their face when they're realizing they're getting humiliated in front of their friends and it's going to be on YouTube and then they really panic?
02:54:22.000You want to see these old dudes with bad hips trying to play basketball and hustling other old dudes and have some weird fucking dynamic play out where they didn't have a good relationship with their wife, but they really do love her.
02:56:28.000So things are recorded and they're put into like a Spotify file and episode X number, whatever the fuck it is, from April of 2021. It seems like a permanent thing, but it's really a transient conversation that gets recorded.
02:57:12.000Because even though I'm talking shit off the top of my head, it's going to be recorded, and people are going to take it and put it in print as if this is a well-thought-out and well-constructed sentence.
02:57:52.000If I don't agree with you, I'll debate them, I'll argue them, but if you show me that something I said is either incorrect or misinformed, I'm the first person.
03:03:45.000Letterman was my, like Carson, I used to sneak out of my crib as a kid and watch Carson.
03:03:49.000My mom would catch me eating food watching Carson.
03:03:51.000I used to love sneaking out of my room.
03:03:53.000And turn on the TV, the fucking old knob TV. I remember sitting in our apartment staring at the television watching Carson.
03:04:00.000I was obsessed with this rhythm that happened.
03:04:02.000And then Letterman to me was like Carson that I loved when I was a kid.
03:04:06.000Something about it clicked for me, humor-wise and rhythm-wise.
03:04:10.000When he came back and did the Netflix show, it felt like, for lack of a better way, it felt like a guy taking a big check from a thing to do the thing that he was already done doing.
03:06:46.000And then other people on the outside are like, why the fuck do you waste your- my neighbor hand builds- I mean, he hand builds cars, and he hand builds boats, and he's a fucking impressive dude.
03:06:54.000This dude, this old British dude, he's the best.
03:06:57.000And I'll come home sometimes, and he'll be like, he's an old British guy, he's like, pop over for a drink.
03:07:01.000And I'm like, I can't, dude, I gotta, and he's like, it's one drink.
03:07:05.000And I'm like, but it's never, and he's like, come on.
03:07:09.000Dude, we'll go in the backyard, we'll be fucking tanked.
03:07:12.000It'll be nine o'clock, I'll have him drinking for fucking four hours with him, but he'll talk to me about hand-rebuilding cars, and...
03:07:18.000He knows that I'm not smart enough to understand it, but he'll build, you know, he rebuilt an old Rolls Royce, an MG. Wow.
03:07:39.000It was a convertible, a little like Roadster.
03:07:41.000It's this old MG. Because MGs used to still have, for the long time, they had still kit cars that you could buy and build completely from scratch.
03:07:48.000With a lot of cars, companies, you know, they don't...
03:07:51.000They don't let you build a fucking Corvette.
03:07:56.000They give you a kit to build a Corvette.
03:07:58.000Here, you could buy it for this amount of money, or you could buy it for half that price and you put it together yourself.
03:08:03.000Every Joe Schmoe is like, I'll fucking do it.
03:08:06.000You don't think I know how to build a car, dude?
03:08:09.000Imagine if they did that, but they had a legitimate Chevrolet inspector come to your house and make sure you did it.
03:08:15.000Before you drive I have to come see yeah before they give you the key right they give you everything but but the key the key that's actually really smart that's actually a great bit and they film it they're like they show you we it'd be a great show to show up to a kid car guy's house right and before you get the key you have to prove that if passes inspection for the car we have to fucking make sure this thing doesn't fall apart when you hit the highway I think that'd be a great show It's not a bad idea.
03:16:02.000Look up the new M8. They kept their grill on the M8, which I thought was strange because the new M8 is a 2021, but that's still the same old grill.
03:16:10.000You know what it's like to me when Porsche had the 996, rather?
03:16:14.000Yeah, the 996. That's like 2001, 2003. Like three, yeah.
03:16:18.000They had those big stupid fried egg eyeballs.
03:19:59.000It's like you enter into a different dimension where it makes sense that you could be on stage in an arena just talking shit like you would in the OR on a Tuesday night.
03:20:20.000You got antibodies from, like, your original antibodies from having COVID, and then you got antibodies from the actual vaccination antibodies.