Comedian Joe Rogan and writer/comedian Whitney Cummings talk about their favorite childhood toys and the things they used to do with them. They also talk about how much they miss the days when cell phones were cool, and how they don't have them anymore. They also discuss how they would like to go back to a flip phone, and why they don t have one anymore. Joe also talks about how he doesn't use social media anymore and how he's trying to get back on it, and Whitney talks about a new app he's been working on that he thinks could be a good replacement for social media, but it needs a lot of work and he's not sure if it's going to make it. They finish the episode with a story about when they were kids growing up in Texas and how much money they had to pay to get their first flip phones, and what it was like to be a kid in the 80s and 90s with no cell phones. It's a wild ride down memory lane, and it's one you don't want to miss. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Artwork by Ian Dorsch. We do not own any of the music used in this episode. The 500 is a production of Gimlet Media. or any other music used for this episode was done by our patrons. Thank you so much for all the support, we really appreciate it. We really appreciate all the love, support, support and support, and really appreciate the support we get from the support and all the hard work that goes out there. Thank you for all of you. We appreciate it, it means a lot, it's a lot. - the support is really helps us to make this podcast is really important to us get out there and it helps us out. We hope you all can make it out here and we really get back out there with all of our support. -- Thank you, Joe and we appreciate all of the love and support we can do this. XOXO. Cheers. Joe and Whitney - Thank you Joe and Cheers, Cheers! (and the rest of the support goes out to all the people who sent us out there to the boys at The Joe Rogans Experience for making this podcast and all of their support is so much.
00:01:33.000I mean, it was just a text game, so it'd be like you go to this city and you want to buy drugs, and then you go to this city and you buy a bunch of drugs, and then...
00:03:03.000You felt like every time someone paged you, you were going to go save a life in the ER. I'm seriously thinking of going back to a flip phone.
00:03:09.000I've been really thinking about it lately.
00:03:11.000Because the days that I just leave my phone in the house, I don't have any...
00:03:15.000I have an Instagram app and a Twitter app on my phone, but I never open them anymore.
00:03:20.000And I've been really thinking like I should just do all that shit from a dedicated phone that I only use for social media and for my regular phone.
00:03:27.000Just have some shit that I can text people on.
00:03:29.000You're the reason I made this folder on the bottom.
00:04:45.000There's this new thing, like when people talk about cancel culture and everything, where I'm like, when did comedians become heroes and a moral compass?
00:04:56.000Our job is to go into dangerous areas, say dangerous shit, test the waters.
00:05:01.000We're the fucking Magellan on the front line.
00:05:03.000You know when penguins push another penguin off a...
00:05:11.000We're supposed to play devil's advocate and have hot takes.
00:05:15.000I'm working on this new hour and it's always like, okay, I'm going to say something that's not true, that I think is funny, and then defend it with jokes.
00:05:23.000You know, that's kind of like the way I start writing.
00:05:26.000And I hope you don't agree with anything I'm saying because then it can't be original or you've probably heard it at work today.
00:05:32.000The idea is you pay money to hear someone say some shit you would never hear anywhere else.
00:07:24.000You know, it was one of my favorite things to do is when you're sort of like, oh, I said some shit that I'm probably, you know, this is something I'm going to have to fucking dig out of.
00:07:31.000That's when you get stronger and better.
00:07:35.000I remember one time he was, I know he was in the OR, and he said something like, can we just talk about the fact that black people and white people are different?
00:07:41.000And everyone's like, ooh, and he's like, stay with me, and then defends it and gets it back.
00:08:02.000So people try to find things that piss them off and attack them.
00:08:05.000And if you want to find those, comedians are like the best resource.
00:08:08.000If you're looking for something to get mad at, you can find us all the time.
00:08:11.000You go to porn to jerk off, you go to comedians Twitter to get mad.
00:08:15.000And it is, you know, I feel like we talk about this a lot, but, you know, addiction to me is the element of the conversation that's missing from this whole thing.
00:08:23.000Because, you know, self-righteous indignation is a legitimate addiction.
00:11:53.000People have been jerking off into that shirt.
00:11:55.000You're getting leprosy from this, and you just paid.
00:11:58.000So, oh yeah, I think for me, the whole pandemic, and I know you saw it, and you and Annie Letterman, and the real, real comics were a big support system to me when I was really trying to figure out a way to Help comics keep doing stand-up safely in LA. Well,
00:12:15.000What you did was really brave, because you did it in your backyard amongst friends.
00:12:19.000Like, you all did comedy together to each other, which is hilarious, because you would think that it would be easy to do comedy in front of your friends.
00:12:55.000And with everything that was going on, you know, I mean, Tim Dillon was over every day and we were just screaming at each other in my yard.
00:13:00.000Wasn't he living with you for a while?
00:13:46.000And honestly, half of these people are the people that are like, I have a therapist and I'm all about mental health and I'm all about...
00:13:51.000And it's like, you know the worst thing for your mental health is just finding more reasons to stay inside and isolate yourself and get drunk on this self-righteous indignation.
00:15:35.000The people that I know that had COVID and then took the vaccine after they had COVID, they had some pretty rough reactions, most of them that I know.
00:15:43.000Yeah, I did the Johnson& Johnson the day before all that shit came out about the blood cuts.
00:15:47.000I was supposed to do the Johnson& Johnson.
00:15:49.000I was flying to the UFC, and they had allocated a certain amount of them for their employees.
00:15:54.000But then when I got there, they go, you have to wait till Monday and do it in the hospital because of whatever regulations there are.
00:16:15.000If you say you're vaccinated, it alleviates so much concerns.
00:16:18.000People are like, oh, you're on the good guy side.
00:16:19.000It's just something that it's like, whether it's symbolic, whether it's, you know, sort of psychosomatic, whatever the fuck it is.
00:16:27.000And because you know what I found didn't work?
00:16:30.000Because after I had COVID and when I had the antibodies and I would go on sets or go places, I'd be like, guys, I just had COVID. I have the antibodies.
00:16:39.000You say vaccinated, they're like, oh, science.
00:16:41.000Like they just hear the word and it's soothing.
00:16:44.000It's like whatever the mental trick of saying, you know, people support, more people support, I think it's called assisted living than welfare, even though it's the same thing.
00:17:18.000Jim Carrey, I was, I can't believe you brought this up, I was thinking about him the other fucking day, because I was thinking about comics, just sort of how Richard Pryor, if he came out gangbusters today, what the fuck would go on?
00:17:33.000But holding comedians to the standard that we never said we would live up to.
00:17:38.000We have always kept the bar for ourselves very low in terms of our behavior.
00:17:42.000But I think guys like Richard Pryor, like the greats, whether it's Pryor or Kinison or anybody, I think they would adjust to the times.
00:17:48.000And I think we're all trying to adjust to the times.
00:17:50.000We're all trying to resonate with enough people that recognize that, like, yeah, we may misstep or may say stupid shit, and I'm certainly guilty of that a lot, but what we're trying to do is not that.
00:18:54.000I think there's a lot of people out there that are fans of comedy and the fear is that the emotional distress that some comics go through when they get attacked for their material is almost enough for them to quit.
00:19:13.000We see each other, we're super affectionate and friendly, there's so much love.
00:19:18.000I'm gonna steal from Joey Diaz and call you Joe Rogan.
00:19:22.000Joe Rogan, you won't even know that you should get points for this and you would never even think that it was a nice thing to do, but Joe, you are the kindest This is why I say you have a Texas heart,
00:19:45.000Every time I go to the commie store and, you know, an open mic or a young comedian that doesn't have any health insurance or any money, you know, needs a surgery, needs a flight home, something, I'm always like, oh, you know, let me help out on that.
00:19:57.000It's like the way you give to comics, the amount of comics who probably didn't kill themselves because they got a platform on your show or they were able to tour with you or whatever it is.
00:20:07.000People are forgetting that comedians, as much as we've worked on ourselves and we can sort of function, the mental illness in our community is real intense.
00:20:35.000And part of the reason I want to do these outdoor shows is because I was like, if I was fucking 25 and just about to be featuring or just about to get on a, you know, Rogan or whatever it was, and then they said you can't do comedy for a year...
00:21:25.000And I was just, I'm trying to, not only is it like fun for me, but just calling people up on stage and fucking hugging them and going like, we can't be scared of each other anymore.
00:21:33.000Like there's this new thing where it's just like, you know, everyone's like flinching when they see each other.
00:22:38.000I bet if there was a chart of the anger in this country and the sadness, they all must have ramped up considerably over the last year.
00:22:46.000And I think one of the good things about where we're at now is we have a real chance to consciously recognize that we may have all been kind of shitty to each other over the last year because we're all freaking out.
00:22:56.000And let's instead of stop blaming each other, let's everybody just...
00:23:00.000Everybody just go, okay, what's your intention?
00:23:02.000My intention is to be a nice person and have a good time.
00:24:16.000It was like all of a sudden a fucking bomb went off in your apartment building and you're on the 10th floor and you have to make a decision whether you're jumping out the window.
00:24:53.000I remember I was watching a documentary with Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Flea was on the toilet right before he went on stage, and he's like, there's nothing like a pre-performance shit.
00:25:01.000And I was thinking there, as a person who analyzes physical performance, I was like, oh, that's probably a good idea to evacuate all your bowel.
00:25:09.000Dissecting and of course I should really think of it as consideration of like different things I have to do before I go on stage I probably should actively seek to take a shit I should even time it so that when I go on stage I don't have anything that I'm like floating around inside my stomach where I might have to take a shit Let me ask you, because the first time I did a stand-up special,
00:25:27.000the first recording, I puked an hour before, and I never puked out of nerves in my life.
00:26:42.000I just won't talk to you before the show because I don't want to be giving and I wouldn't do that before a show at the Houston Improv or the Allison Improv.
00:26:52.000I try to kind of just hang out with whoever's opening do the same thing I've always done so it doesn't feel like a different show so I'm relaxed and not putting too much pressure on but let me ask you something because during the pandemic I did pick up some good habits beside the looking like fucking the witch from Hunger Games I started rowing.
00:27:56.000She's super hot and so she was driving this this guy around in a car and she picks him up and he's like wow I'm going back to this party with this hot chick and they get into this warehouse and I fucking I love this movie But I love this opening scene like it's one of my favorite opening scenes in any movie.
00:31:43.000There's one, this must be 15 years old, where a woman, she goes around and, like, fucks guys and slowly eats them while she's fucking them.
00:33:33.000So, and I started watching Twilight, and it is so hot because he's a vampire, she's human, and there's something so hot in our fucking bones about he could kill us at any fucking moment.
00:33:54.000And I don't know if just because if women are on birth control, apparently our olfactory glands change because our body thinks it's pregnant.
00:34:01.000So we're attracted when we're on birth control to more risk-taking alpha type men.
00:36:07.000I feel like people that make fanny packs are like, we know the people buying these are poor, so they make them shitty.
00:36:13.000Dude, when I was a kid, when I was 19 years old, me and this girl that I was dating would sit in my fucking car and listen to Andrew Dice Clay's cassette and howl laughing.
00:36:23.000So just to know that dude and to have him recommend, oh, get this, it's fucking Roots!
00:36:32.000Dude, my favorite Dice shit is one time he was at, you know on Mondays, I don't know if they're still down at the Comedy Store now that they're kind of half open or whatever.
00:36:41.000They're going to be fully open Monday.
00:37:48.000I think another person killed himself too in the organization.
00:37:51.000It's a horrible, horrible, horrible story.
00:37:54.000I've talked to people that really understand finance and they explained it to me.
00:37:59.000These people, it's so rare to get that many super rich people and have them completely duped by a Ponzi scheme.
00:38:07.000And that's what was so crazy about it, that he was so good and he had such a high return for so many years and so many people were coming to him that he constantly had this money coming in.
00:38:15.000Which is to me, I get fascinated by when people, he's obviously a brilliant guy.
00:38:21.000I get fascinated and a fucking hard-of-shit worker just in the wrong direction.
00:38:25.000I get fascinated going like, well, this person's worth that ethic is fucking incredible and I'm impressed by this person, but you could have done it the right way with how smart you are.
00:39:03.000It's stealing from people, but figuring out how to do it with this thing that requires pretty intense calculation and computation because he's trying to figure out how to manipulate all this money to make it look like he's investing things without showing people how he's investing things.
00:39:16.000And all this money is getting returned to these people, but if they ask for money, he's fucked.
00:39:20.000And that's what happened in 2008. And maybe because he's a psychopath or sociopath and lacks everything.
00:39:24.000To me, I just can't lie because it's too emotionally exhausting.
00:39:28.000The idea of lying that much to that many people is, to me, so much work.
00:40:53.000In a way, it's the same way we justify our country doing things in other countries, right?
00:40:58.000Even military actions, we justify because it's not one person, it's sort of a collective, and there's a diffusion of responsibility involved with all these people.
00:41:07.000But there's almost like a reverse diffusion of responsibility when it's you and it gets distributed.
00:41:12.000All the loss gets distributed through a lot of people.
00:41:14.000So a lot of people that are poor that steal things, they're not even thinking they're stealing from a person.
00:41:52.000The adrenaline you get from doing graffiti in public places, stealing, like putting a leather jacket under the, like getting away, getting one over is like a big endorphin rush.
00:42:02.000Did you ever bust it stealing something?
00:43:20.000And it gets higher every year you can't afford to pay it.
00:43:22.000And they owe trillions of dollars overall.
00:43:25.000And we were talking about it, and I said, in a way, it's kind of like...
00:43:31.000We know, scientifically, we understand the development of the human brain.
00:43:37.000Your frontal cortex doesn't fully develop until you're somewhere in the neighborhood of like 20-something years old, 25. Different from men, I think.
00:45:05.000And it also deters people from wanting to get educated.
00:45:08.000It deters the very people that need to get educated.
00:45:10.000Because a lot of people that aren't going to afford to go to these schools probably already have a job waiting for them at fucking Goldman Sachs or whatever.
00:45:16.000My boyfriend is a critical care veterinarian.
00:45:52.000If I go to LA and make them think that they're part of Texas culture, even though they hate Texas, they all dress like they live here now, but they loathe it.
00:48:07.000You know that my mom and dad, before they got married, my mom's main name was Cumming with no S. Married Eric Cummings with an S. She's Patty Cumming.
00:48:23.000That might be the only excuse to never hyphenate, because we could just meet in the middle.
00:48:27.000I'd be willing to drop the S. I'm like, fuck this S. I don't need that S. A lot of people are merging last names instead of, like, I'm not going to take my husband.
00:48:36.000Yeah, they should jump into a volcano.
00:50:56.000When people think about what it means to be a feminist, you think, oh, it means like a dominant woman that wants to compete with men and win.
00:51:03.000Maybe it's just a person who just wants autonomy.
00:51:06.000You want to be able to do whatever you actually like.
00:51:08.000So if you want to dress in lingerie and wear high heels because you like it, isn't that part of what's being feminist?
00:51:15.000And isn't the resistance to that is kind of like a lot of player hating.
00:51:19.000It's like girls who are jealous about maybe girls who can achieve a certain look that they can't because of their body or because of just who they are, whatever it is.
00:54:00.000There's something that people see when they look off the side of a building that really freaks them out.
00:54:04.000And part of what it is is that it freaks out this desire to just leap and end it.
00:54:09.000Which to me is really fascinating because I'm obsessed with ancestral trauma and the phobias we inherit, the guilt we inherit, stuff like that.
00:54:18.000Like the famous cherry blossom experiment.
00:54:21.000I couldn't tell you who did it, but where...
00:56:09.000I read it in some book that I'm sure you've fucking read a hundred times, but about how our fear of public speaking is based in that if you are speaking in front of people, that means you are making your case to the tribe.
00:56:28.000Yeah, so I'm fascinated by, there are some things I feel, and I know that I grew up in a dysfunctional alcoholic home where, you know, the chaos was very normal, and so for me, I feel very alive in a time of crisis, and I feel anxious when things are going smoothly because I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?
00:56:43.000But I feel very comfortable in front of thousands of people who may or may not run on stage and hit me.
00:56:49.000I think that for rock climbers, it's like, and comedians, my fear of not doing comedy It just outweighs my fear of going on stage and being embarrassed.
00:57:00.000I see what you're saying there, and I agree with it.
00:57:04.000What you said when you talked about talking in front of people, that if historically that was going on, you were fucked.
00:58:44.000Do you know that gallbladder thing is like, it's so bad that you're not allowed to, even if you legally hunt a bear, you can't open up its organ cavity because people are worried that people are shooting bears just for their gallbladders in British Columbia?
00:59:00.000And this bullshit capital of Texas Zoo, which is trying to say it's like rescuing them, is all about the Asiatic black bear as a species whose population is rapidly decreasing due to illegal hunting for its gallbladder, which is used in Asian folk medicine.
00:59:14.000And then you're going to fucking put it in a box and not give it any water.
00:59:17.000That pisses me off and it's a USDA violation.
00:59:19.000So I go around to these like bullshit.
00:59:21.000Are you calling these people out publicly right now on this podcast?
00:59:25.000I guess I just did, didn't I? This is a real problem for them.
01:00:04.000To me, once I started learning the statistics on whenever there's exotic animal trafficking, it's usually accompanied by human trafficking.
01:00:13.000So when you see a lion running free in Houston or private ownership of lions, tigers, bears, any apex predator, there's usually teenagers from another country in the same truck.
01:01:24.000Because when you see an apex predator, a lion, tiger, or bear, that's so incredibly strong, you know...
01:01:30.000How much abuse had to go into containing that animal because they're so incredibly strong.
01:01:35.000You know, Michael Jackson, I mean, the fucking asshole in L.A., Bob Dunn, I'm going to say it, who puts chimpanzees in cages so that they don't build any muscle.
01:01:44.000If you're seeing a chimpanzee, a lion, tiger or bear in a cage, they were they had to they got to be on fentanyl.
01:02:48.000A lot of colleges and universities, the ones that are fucking waiting around for their student loans and imprisoning people financially, do a lot of experiments on college campuses.
01:02:56.000So I don't do a lot of this publicly because I'll get murdered.
01:02:59.000Can you imagine you go from living in the fucking castle, living in the Michael Jackson Neverland castle, to getting experiments done on you and you don't understand English?
01:03:22.000It was, but chimps, you know, I mean, they get so fucking strong, they have to keep them in cages so their muscles don't build, they don't feed them any protein, and then they inject them with, you know, I mean, there's one university, which I'm not going to say right now because I'm,
01:03:37.000like, getting all my fucking ducks in a row, but they put Botox in their muscles so they don't develop any muscles.
01:03:43.000Did I ever tell you about the time I went to a tiger place in Thailand?
01:05:05.000So they bring you over, like, this is the elephant that you're going to have a relationship with, and you're going to feed him sugar cane and wash him.
01:06:57.000And look, a lot of animal people are fucking crazy as shit.
01:07:01.000And as we say, animal people aren't always people people because a lot of people that are real big in animal rescue have a lot of childhood trauma.
01:07:08.000They were neglected, they were abused as kids, and they see something voiceless.
01:07:12.000And that can't, you know, send emails or make phone calls being abused and they go fucking nuts.
01:07:16.000So I don't fuck with a lot of animal rescue people because they're not rational.
01:07:20.000My thing is like, let's focus on changing a law instead of trying to get every fucking elephant out of every zoo.
01:07:25.000But, you know, I think that, you know, someone like you, I think we're similar in that we see how fucked up it is to have an apex predator in a box.
01:07:34.000Yeah, we went to the elephant thing, and the elephant thing, it actually felt good.
01:07:39.000Because these elephants, they came over the top of the hill.
01:07:45.000They came over the top of the hill, and they come when they know that they're going to bring out the sugar cane, and they're going to meet these people.
01:08:22.000They've reintroduced ones after more than 10 years apart, and they recognize each other instantly, and they run and hug, and they're rubbing trunks and everything.
01:09:48.000Once you see the aftermath of what happens with any kind of tiger bear, I mean, they have about six months and they just send them off to either get killed or to get can hunting or whatever that stuff is.
01:10:28.000I think immediately if they see a person, they want to kill it.
01:10:30.000But the point is, it's not really hunting.
01:10:33.000It's not like you're going into the wild animals.
01:10:35.000They literally let it go a day or two before the hunt.
01:10:37.000But you've seen Tippi Hedren and these things where they bottle-raise them, so they're not going to attack someone that bottle-raised them?
01:10:43.000I don't think they do that on those farms.
01:10:45.000Have you ever seen Louis Theroux, his documentary?
01:10:56.000But he had a great special that he did about going to these hunting camps in Africa, where they raise these animals specifically to be released and hunted.
01:11:09.000He got in with this guy and got very close with this guy that was running this, and he got him irritated to the point where the guy was like, Africa is fucked!
01:11:18.000And this guy was talking about why he did it.
01:11:23.000And he's like, you know, these animals are fucked.
01:11:25.000And he was basically explaining the only way these animals have any value is if they're worth money to kill.
01:11:32.000That's why there's high populations of them, which is really wild because they used to be on the verge of extinction, a lot of them.
01:11:38.000And they've regrown their numbers substantially just because there's businesses that are designed so that people, that's the guy, so people can go over there and hunt these animals.
01:11:47.000Did you see, just to try to understand this from all sides, which I obviously have done so much to try and empathize with, there was an article, I don't remember what op-ed it was, but I think it was a mother from Kenya that wrote an op-ed about why we don't cry for lions.
01:12:07.000Because in a lot of areas, you're not afraid of men or guns, you're afraid of a lion attacking your child on their way home from school.
01:12:15.000Yeah, and it was a very interesting thing where it's like, oh, I'm so far removed of what it's like to just have wild lions around my home.
01:12:41.000When coyotes come up, I'm like, coyotes are so cool, and I honor them.
01:12:44.000As soon as they get near my dog, I'm going to fucking strangle them with my bare hands.
01:12:47.000But I also like to just respect and honor, you know, because it's just cool.
01:12:52.000I also think that the way that, you know, because people always think that they can change everyone's mind with an Instagram post or a fucking tweet.
01:13:04.000You just read an Instagram and you're like, oh, I guess I'm going to change my vote now that a Hollywood actress posted about it.
01:13:09.000Whereas it's the way that our brains are wired.
01:13:12.000So when people talk about these big issues and think they're going to be solved with one fucking tweet or even one vote for a candidate, it's like you're going to have to rewire the way people see power, like the way that kids see powerful things enslaved at such a young age.
01:13:26.000They're saying, oh, if I'm more powerful than something, I can just use it for my own amusement.
01:13:30.000So a lot of psychiatrists talk about how seeing these powerful animals at such a young age confined shows them like, yeah, I can use things for my own benefit if I have power.
01:13:41.000And then people talk about abuse of power, but they don't talk about that most kids, the way their brain is developed, they're watching it on animals first.
01:13:47.000Well, the only attraction to wanting to control a big, strong animal like that is to show that you have dominance over the scariest thing that's out there.
01:14:53.000I know someone who was trying to get a new home for a Savannah cat because he got two Savannah cats and it just destroyed his entire house.
01:15:01.000And just saying hi to the kid, it would just rip half of its eyelid off.
01:15:49.000If you said, yes, they release goats, I'd be like, well, fuck those goats.
01:15:53.000But if you said they release golden retrievers...
01:15:55.000If I saw my dog Marshall, Marshall was walking, well, I guess this is a new place to walk, and then Marshall sees a lion running his way, he's like, hello friend!
01:17:31.000You know, Werner Herzog, he's made many amazing documentaries and films, and the one on the cave paintings in France, have you ever seen that one?
01:18:09.000I just mean it's just funny to me that he's like, hey, come check this out.
01:18:12.000No, I'm not 100% sure on what I'm saying, but what my understanding is, from talking to guides and people that really understand wildlife management, bears and animals, there's a certain time where you don't want to encounter them in the wild because they're desperate.
01:18:30.000So if it's that cold out and they haven't gone into hibernation yet, they might be desperate for calories.
01:18:58.000You're camping there for months at a time?
01:19:00.000Well, at the end of this guy's life, he shouldn't have been there because he was in the late fall time where the bears are supposed to already be hibernating.
01:19:07.000So the bears that are out are fucking desperate and one of them just died to kill him.
01:19:53.000So there's a thing that happens, right?
01:19:55.000As it gets older, the animal gets less and less viable, so it starts attacking males because it's jealous.
01:20:01.000That happens with giraffes, with a lot of animals.
01:20:03.000Even if they're not sexually viable anymore, they have to remove them from the population.
01:20:06.000They've done that with rhinos, even though rhinos are endangered, because one male rhino that's no longer viable was killing multiple rhinos.
01:20:15.000There was a famous case where Corey Knowles, a guy who was on this podcast, who talked about it with us.
01:20:21.000He had bid to be the guy who killed this rhino.
01:20:25.000And everybody was like, this is crazy.
01:20:32.000They're gonna kill this rhino no matter what because it costs more money to transport this rhino to another place than it does to kill it.
01:20:38.000And if you do transport to another place, you have to put it in isolation because if it's around other males, it's gonna kill them.
01:20:44.000So he was explaining this like, this is really complicated shit and he paid, I think it was like a quarter million dollars, something, Crazy to go and kill a rhino and CNN went with him and followed him when he did it But it was an opportunity for them for him to sort of educate them like yeah There's there's these places where these these canned hunts where they let lions out but there's also moments where as a Conservationist calling there they have to do something about this crazy rhino that can't fuck anymore He's killing the other rhino right right because one guy will kill he already killed two and he was on the way to killing more there's there's
01:21:47.000But when I, I love La Jolla Comedy Store, one of my favorite places on the planet to perform, but when I walk around La Jolla, there's like ivory in the galleries in the window, and you're just like, what the?
01:22:13.000But also elephants, I know that in – because sometimes I go in with – I'm like, oh, I'm going to build a new enclosure for – there's this guy, Ed Stewart, in Northern California who shut down Barnum& Bailey.
01:22:24.000And they fucking – I mean Barnum& Bailey, they have a billion dollars.
01:22:28.000I mean they are fucking – they made so much money off that shit.
01:24:15.000That felt like he was out there just being like, I'm sorry I did that.
01:24:18.000When there's a whole lot of people, someone applied the makeup.
01:24:21.000Well, it's just we have to recognize as a culture, there's a difference between the way people think of blackface today versus people think of blackface 10 years ago.
01:24:33.000I just think if you're on a television show where there's tons of writers that wrote, like a lot of, everyone should have said, we were off that.
01:29:28.000It was someone who was real recent to the game, and she was on stage, and she would have a premise, and she wouldn't follow through, and they were short, and she didn't expand on an idea, and she was going from one premise to a completely unrelated premise.
01:29:45.000It was clunky, and she wasn't doing well.
01:29:47.000And I was going on two from there, with one other person than me.
01:29:51.000And I looked at the schedule and me and the DJ, we were like...
01:29:55.000And I go, it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.
01:29:58.000And so later on that night, I was going on stage like...
01:37:00.000That is what is so different about you, Joe.
01:37:02.000I don't think people truly understand that there's such a scarcity complex in everyone.
01:37:07.000There's so few of us, and we've been taught to believe there's so few slots.
01:37:12.000Like, there's one person that gets the big deal at Montreal or Aspen, and it's me fucking against you.
01:37:16.000It's me against you, and you are one of the few fucking comics that That is so psyched to lift people up and then they get successful on their own.
01:37:53.000Four networks and then there was like cable networks that people didn't take seriously.
01:37:57.000Four networks and like three slots on TGIF Friday.
01:38:00.000So if everyone was going out for auditions, what happened with pilot season would roll around and you would get an agent and then we'd all meet out here.
01:38:09.000And we'd do the store or we'd do the lab factory or what have you, and we would talk about pilots.
01:38:15.000Like, everyone was going out for things.
01:38:16.000And if, like, you were going out for a thing, oh, you're going out for that thing?
01:38:19.000Like, yeah, I'm going out for that thing.
01:38:21.000And we would both be going out for it together.
01:38:23.000And the thing could change your life, right?
01:38:25.000Like, if someone who I was really close with was going out for news radio when I was on news radio, it would have scared the shit out of me.
01:38:31.000Because that decision to pick me over maybe one of my best friends, like, imagine if me and Brian Callen were both going out for news radio at the same time.
01:38:46.000So if he and I were in the same, it would be a real problem because at the time, I didn't know him in 94, but he became one of my best friends.
01:43:23.000They're different, but they're equally awesome.
01:43:26.000There's something about laughing 100% at everything someone says, and there's also something about someone doing something, like Hicks did, that you go, that's funny, but it's also, that is, wow, he's making me think.
01:43:39.000He's making me really think about, like, what is mall music?
01:43:42.000And this is, yeah, you're like, something I've never thought about before.
01:43:46.000The same way we want to see pictures we've never seen.
01:43:49.000We want to see a pair of boobs we've never seen or whatever.
01:43:51.000It's like, and I know this is a corny verb, but tickling a part of someone's brain.
01:43:59.000So, like, I watched, speaking of Gary Goldman, I watched his last hour he was working out before the pandemic, and he did, like, 20 minutes on how mangoes have a low yield value.
01:44:48.000Natasha Leggera, I remember, once said something.
01:44:50.000I remember when I first started doing stand-up at this place called M Bar in L.A. Because we started in bars and bowling alleys and sushi restaurants and shit in L.A. So when people are always like, L.A. is not hardcore comedy.
01:45:00.000It's like, dude, have you ever done comedy in a fucking bowling alley?
01:45:18.000Someone out there has a little hobo and is probably listening to this right now.
01:45:21.000By the way, the tinfoil hat people think that I'm a Satanist because I went to Duncan Trussell performing his special, his thing with Little Hobo.
01:45:32.000What was the guy's name of the Satanist?
01:46:15.000Do you think that he takes his skin suit off and he becomes some sort of reptile?
01:46:19.000I don't know, but that reminds me of a friend of mine.
01:46:21.000I'm just going straight fucking gossip.
01:46:23.000A friend of mine worked with David Copperfield and said that after shows, when they would tour, he'd go out on the balcony to have a cigarette and look over at David Copperfield's You know, the outdoor, and there would be a skin muscle suit hanging over the railing to dry off.
01:46:43.000Like a full body muscle suit underneath his clothes.
01:46:47.000I saw one of these Instagram videos the other day where a girl was about to do like a fitness video and they took these like fake boob gel things, you know those little things?
01:47:11.000I did it during the pandemic a couple times because I was not doing squats the way I was supposed to be doing squats and I was just too embarrassed about my pancake ass during the pandemic.
01:49:17.000Well, aren't there, you tell me, are there limits to how, like when I see an ass, like these girls that like work out like crazy, I try to do it, I have a trainer, is there a limit to how my genetics will allow my ass to look?
01:49:44.000Because I am obsessed with having a bigger, stronger...
01:49:47.000Just in general, can I tell you, on stage as I get older and as physical as my...
01:49:50.000I'm doing this bit right now about how I love dating...
01:49:54.000I'm dating a younger guy now, but I love dating older guys because their music, every now and then you get to listen to R. Kelly by accident.
01:50:05.000You get a free listen to Ignition and you're not supporting a sexual predator because they just didn't hear about it on Yahoo News or whatever.
01:50:13.000And I do this whole dance on stage where I'm listening to R. Kelly for the first time in years.
01:52:03.000You don't deserve someone like going, look at that ass, when it's a fucking water bag behind a tissue that's been surgically sliced open and stitched up.
01:53:39.000And there's people that I've met that are like, yeah, man, my ex-girlfriend was a fucking asshole, but now she's happily married to some other guy.
01:53:46.000Was she an asshole, or was she just an asshole in mixture with your personality?
01:53:55.000The common denominator in all your crazy exes is fucking you.
01:53:58.000And I do think it's about finding whatever that compatible thing is.
01:54:02.000And you also are such a fucking good example.
01:54:05.000And I tell all my guy friends, you have such a full life.
01:54:08.000And you're one of the few people I know that when they got married, they didn't abandon all their guy friendships.
01:54:13.000Well, you've got to be careful with that because there's a lot of guys that, for whatever reason, when they get married, they want everybody else to be married, too.
01:55:24.000That's right, because whatever blueprint you got, whatever conditioning you got, and it's taken me so long to realize that I'm in a place of such radical forgiveness now, almost to the point of being too sort of a silver lining person.
01:55:40.000But when I just go, like when I look at people, cancel culture, you know, vultures or people that are making negative comments and comics, whenever they come to my podcast, everyone just wants to talk about negative comments.
01:55:50.000And I'm like, look at these people as children that didn't get what they needed.
01:55:55.000These are people that were neglected, that were hurt, that were abused, like hurt people hurt people.
01:55:59.000Like once you start looking people as their inner child and stop pretending like they're mature adults, it's just we're all just children in adult suits.
01:56:07.000You start not taking everything so fucking personally.
01:56:35.000And I wanted to talk to him about that, but along the way, one of the things that he said that I thought was really profound, he said that the thing that he thinks would be the most looked upon, like in the future, when they look back on this era, like the biggest mistake we made is making people responsible for all of their own actions.
01:56:53.000I thought you were going to say Zoom comedy shows.
01:56:55.000Well, listen, if you're doing a Zoom comedy show in May of 2021, you need to stop.
01:57:25.000He was talking about people blaming people for whoever they are and what they do.
01:57:30.000And he was talking about determinism versus free will.
01:57:35.000And it made me really think, especially coming from a guy like him, who's just analyzing the data and looking at people from sort of an anthropological and psychological perspective.
01:57:45.000He's examining what it takes to become the kind of thing that you see right in front of you, whether it's an orangutan or whatever it is.
01:57:54.000And he said it's going to be one of the biggest mistakes that we've made.
01:57:58.000Holding people accountable for their irrational behaviors.
01:58:08.000It wasn't a perfect life, but it was just fucked up enough, where there was enough confusion, enough weirdness, that it made me hyper-ambitious.
01:58:18.000I might owe them an edible arrangement for the adversity they provided.
01:58:22.000There's a minor amount of adversity compared to other people that I've met who have had massive adversity, like being raped, like boys that have been raped and guys that have been beat up relentlessly and stepdads that abused them.
01:58:36.000Violence at school and being arrested when they were 17 and fucking craziness.
01:58:42.000And you expect this guy that you run into at 23 years old to have a shit 100% together.
01:58:50.000When I was 23, I was way easier than that guy.
01:58:54.000But I was probably less easier than some guy who grew up in some really sheltered environment where you're taught chess when you're fucking 10. Yeah.
01:59:03.000Everybody's got a different thing that they went through.
01:59:06.000When you run into people, you literally have no idea what they've gone through when you're first meeting them.
01:59:56.000And to pretend that those experiences that either of those people go through, any of those people go through, are all the same, and that at 23 you should have your shit together, or 28 or 58, whatever the fuck it is, whatever your number is.
02:04:42.000This motherfucker, well, when he had his, you know, because he's, like, touring and trying to do, like, you know, he does, like, a stand-up show, had a stand-up special.
02:05:30.000You just have to find someone who laughs at the same sick shit as you.
02:05:34.000Yeah, well, you can't be with someone who wants to be an accountant like you.
02:05:38.000Like, imagine if some dude was an accountant and was like, Whitney, I just think you should really calm down your act and maybe perhaps stop with letting other men grab your breasts on stage.
02:05:46.000I mean, it's just like, it's not asking a lot.
02:05:48.000That was an old man who had never touched...
02:06:17.000But I think that after not being around human beings for so long and being so grateful that people were fucking showing up and, you know, buying tickets and tipping fucking waitresses and I just had so much gratitude and I just wanted to talk to fans.
02:09:11.000Because Jamie Kennedy was the one that I was telling you yesterday that released a video on his Instagram about people getting microchipped with the vaccine.
02:09:19.000They were putting magnets on the site where they got vaccinated.
02:09:22.000They were saying, look, it's a magnet.
02:10:57.000I'm obsessed with the, so most Russian people, if you talk to them, they say that they believe, it's very common knowledge over there, that Vladimir Putin has a double that got plastic surgery to look exactly like him for public appearances.
02:11:12.000They said that about Melania, too, but I believe it for Vladimir Putin.
02:11:31.000The double was making out with Donald, and everybody's like, Melania hates him, but this double, she's got a fake nose, and she's wearing weird sunglasses, and she'd be really affectionate with Donald.
02:11:40.000Will you look up someone, Jamie, called April Tillman?
02:11:44.000Have you done your 23andMe ancestry stuff?
02:13:21.000I flew her up to Coeur d'Alene and put her on stage and I trained her.
02:13:24.000I'm working on the video for Instagram right now where she was like impersonating me but she was too sweet and no one bought that it was me.
02:13:57.000But there was a weird moment where everybody was like, what the fuck is happening?
02:14:01.000But there's an interesting confirmation bias when people just want to look for evidence, which is always such an interesting thought experiment because I do think that's what people do now.
02:14:11.000They have decided something, whether it's right or not, and then they just look for evidence to prove themselves right for their ego.
02:14:20.000And they'll discard any new information, whereas comedians say what the fuck you want about us, but we're the people like, oh, I didn't know that.
02:14:56.000Well, also, I think that humans, and I was thinking about this earlier when you brought up, like, stand-up and the fear of heights and the fears that we inherit.
02:15:10.000And I don't think we talk about it enough because a lot of people, I can't remember who, I'm plagiarizing, but it was probably Chris Rock or Luis E.K. who's like, stand-up is how we control how we're embarrassed.
02:15:21.000I'm going to embarrass myself before, I'm going to make fun of myself before you can fucking do it.
02:15:52.000Remember what happened when the George Floyd protests went down and people just started roaming through the streets, smashing people's windows and doing crazy shit?
02:16:02.000It was so interesting, so telling, because there was a moment where there was the perfect...
02:16:09.000There's a convergence of all these different things that were happening that were bad.
02:16:16.000There was a perfect merging of chaos and anger.
02:16:49.000And you're scared of each other because literally running into someone could give you a disease that could kill you.
02:16:55.000The first time in our lives where you could run into someone if they don't have a mask on, they could spit in your mouth and you could be dead.
02:17:14.000And who was it that was talking, it might have even been on your podcast, that when we are in fear, our IQ goes down because our frontal lobe shuts off and our amygdala is running.
02:17:49.000When a fighter is loose and relaxed, it's a cool thing to watch because they see things.
02:17:55.000Like if a relaxed fighter is fighting a fighter who's terrified, it's really interesting because the relaxed fighter, he sees all these openings, but the tense fighter is so fucking worried about his own existence and just...
02:18:43.000I don't know what this real debilitating mental obstacle is, but when people are like, I just have anxiety or I have social anxiety, that's probably your body trying to tell you something or it's fueled to do something interesting.
02:18:54.000So for me, I spent all this time in my 20s being like, I have social anxiety, I go to parties and I feel anxious.
02:20:01.000Like, if I could take you to that back bar and we could all hang out and joke around, you would realize, like, oh my god, these people are so nice.
02:20:27.000There's this thing that's happening in this place where you can't get in.
02:20:30.000There's this weird club, and inside that club is Anthony Jeselnik, and you, and Annie Letterman, and Diaz, and these savages, and they're erupting these rooms.
02:20:41.000And Rick Ingram, and Theo Vaughn, and it's chaos.
02:22:26.000When it comes to a fucked up chaos, remorse, relationship song.
02:22:31.000And by the way, taking fucking responsibility.
02:22:34.000Some of the women I know are like, that person fucked me over and I just loved him too much.
02:22:37.000I'm like, that was a fucking mistake and you're into him and if he came back right now, you'd fuck him and ruin your entire marriage for him and just know that.
02:23:53.000He's ready to jump up and grab that thing and put it in front of your face.
02:23:56.000Well, I used to when I first did your show, I get really kind of nervous and I would be too far away from it because I was afraid of being shrill to men because my voice is so fucking unfuckable.
02:24:07.000Why would you be worried about being shrill to men?
02:24:20.000I should send Ari Shapiro a thank you note every month for the fucking pranks he pulled on me when I started doing stand-up because it made me so much fucking stronger.
02:24:30.000He made me a birthday cake and said, happy birthday, faggot.
02:24:58.000I don't even think you know the story.
02:25:00.000And I was thinking about this when you brought up Bernie Madoff and I was trying to make the argument that if you're doing something so immoral but you succeed at it, are you a genius?
02:25:08.000Because I remember when I first started getting original room spots, I started getting the 9 o'clock spot where you're opening and Mitzi's may or may not be.
02:25:21.000And before the real comics kind of got there, you had to break the crowd.
02:25:25.000And I had just gotten my wallet stolen.
02:25:27.000My wallet was stolen and my credit card had been copied.
02:25:33.000And they were taking $300 a day out of my ATM thing.
02:25:37.000And it was like the kind of thing that's like, if you can create a fake credit card that works in an ATM machine with that magnetic strip, you're a genius.
02:27:12.000So in that time that I was gone, you had like emerged and you had your show with Chris and then you were at the store and then I ran into you at the Laugh Factor before I ever did the store again.
02:27:58.000and set my alarm for 1 in the morning to walk down to the comedy store.
02:28:01.000I rented a place on Miller Drive right behind the comedy store because I just wanted spots at the comedy store.
02:28:07.000My whole life was, even before I was a comic, I made it integral to just doing fucking 15 minutes there.
02:28:14.000I would go Sundays and Mondays at 5pm to sign up for the open mic and then wait for three hours to see if you were going to get on and then you get three minutes.
02:28:24.000So I was a part of that whole open mic crowd and you were talked about so much that by the time I actually met you it was just like I feel like I know you.
02:32:23.000So like, yeah, what's up with that guy dressed up like Jesus?
02:32:27.000The fact that he didn't walk around with prostitutes was the only thing out of character is he didn't hang out with prostitutes, which would have really sold it.
02:33:38.000Lions at the capital of Texas Zoo, fuck you guys, where they had a baby and it's not even allowed to be with the parents and they sold off the males to a zoo in Florida.
02:37:58.000There's no more meritocracy than a tiny female who's pregnant, who's also an Asian, who's also murdering on stage with a baby in her stomach, and also doing it for Netflix.
02:38:56.000You know, and I think comics are, you know, the more things people make off limits and taboo, the stronger you make us because it's more surprising when we fucking say it.
02:39:05.000People, cancel culture people don't understand.
02:41:24.000Like, spend time dimensionalizing the issue than you, instead of making money off of intentionally scaring people, intentionally morphing the statistics to make you scared because they know that's going to make you click more and that's going to adrenalize you and get you addicted to the news site.
02:41:42.000But there's also that they're worried that you are going to make people relax and do something stupid and they're going to put other people in danger.
02:41:50.000That to me is akin to people saying that you shouldn't have like flat earth conspiracy because you're going to trick people and thinking the earth is flat and they're going to be miseducated and it's going to be a problem and they're going to be stupid and they're going to ruin everybody else.
02:42:04.000I get that thought process, but I am a survival of the fittest person.
02:42:09.000I am of a belief that you need to figure out what ideas are right and what ideas are wrong and work your way through it.
02:42:16.000And if you want to say that certain things are required because here's all the facts, we've debated it, and we figured out the right solution to how to be the perfect person and be super healthy.
02:42:29.000But if you're not addressing key components of that and I bring those up and you don't make any account of those and only want to concentrate on one aspect of the problem, I go, well, that's not a balanced approach.
02:42:40.000Because especially when it comes to health and what we're doing right now in this current era, this whole year that we've gone through, we've gone through Multiple different hurdles, one of them being the mental hurdle that we talked about earlier of detachment,
02:42:56.000of not being connected to people, which is such a big part of who we are.
02:43:00.000Adam Egott came on my podcast after not talking to anybody for months, and he was pale and weird and confused, and he got a COVID test, so he was somewhat relieved that he didn't have COVID, but he was like, you could tell, I can't We haven't been around people!
02:43:14.000No, we are designed to have, what, a couple hours of eye contact a day?
02:43:17.000And they even say apartment living is detrimental to your mental health because your primordial brain thinks you've been exiled from the tribe and don't have the protection of the tribe.
02:43:26.000And you're around a bunch of people you don't fucking know, but you're around them all the time, so you never know each other well.
02:43:31.000Next to our neighbor might have a fucking chainsaw and a dude in his bathtub.
02:43:35.000I always think about it because I lived in the apartments for so long and I stay in hotels so much and I'm so fascinated about the cognitive dissonance that has to happen and the disconnection to our reptilian animal brains of us to all simultaneously fall asleep in the same building right next to each other when that is our most vulnerable state.
02:44:32.000It's just not indicative of how people are when they're right in front of you.
02:44:36.000Most people you're right in front of, they could talk crazy shit about you online, but if you saw them and you just had a few words together like, give me a hug, come on, give me a hug, and they'd hug you and you'd both feel way more relaxed.
02:44:49.000The fact that we're all not killing each other constantly is a fucking, like a miracle.
02:44:54.000I think that way of interacting is toxic inherently.
02:44:59.000I don't think there's any way around it being at least partially toxic.
02:45:02.000However, like, and you know, I know Sam Harris did this, that incredible episode on the Roman Coliseum, and I talk about the Roman Coliseum all the time because I think right now we're blaming Twitter, we're blaming, you know, Instagram, we're blaming YouTube.
02:45:13.000It's like humans have always done that.
02:45:15.000I mean, Hitler did what he did without Twitter.
02:45:17.000You know, he was, whatever he, you know, did, he was able to do But I think it's the same.
02:45:46.000It's like, have you ever been in those relationships or friendships where I have certainly, I'll speak specifically, where I've been in friendships where someone's like, I fucking cut that person off.
02:45:55.000We were friends and then I fucking cut them off because they did this thing or they flirted with my boyfriend and they're gone and you never think it's going to be you.
02:46:01.000You never think you're the next in line.
02:46:04.000Why are you talking through your neck?
02:47:18.000But I think that a lot of the people that have come the hardest with this cancel culture thing are next in line and they just don't have the foresight to go like you're setting a standard that you yourself can't live up to.
02:49:00.000I think I've spent enough time trying to analyze myself, not in a narcissistic way, to just be able to sort of like deactivate a lot of the...
02:49:07.000You know, either ancestral trauma or unconscious bullshit inner child behavior is to not punish people for something someone else did to me when I was a kid.
02:50:39.000It's like the modern version of doing that.
02:50:41.000Anybody who's in a position where they don't think that achieving what that person has achieved is ever possible feels like they can throw a rock.
02:51:49.000You're pushing all the way to the film?
02:51:51.000No, because I'm too embarrassed for people to watch me adjust them.
02:51:54.000You know when you see a fucking comedian go on stage and not know, even if they can't get the cord right, you're like, oh, you suck at comedy.
02:52:01.000When I got my leg tangled to the cord, I'm like, no!
02:52:15.000As soon as the comedian doesn't know what's going on with the mic or can't twist the stand in a way that looks like 10,000 hours, I'm like, oh, no.
02:53:11.000But remember, he would do Montreal, he would do that state of the industry thing, and I was looking at Tim Dillon yesterday, and I was like, oh, maybe you're the next Andy Kindler in terms of trashing the business and critiquing...
02:54:05.000When I was doing the Joan Rivers or I was speaking of, I had a joke that would only work for comics.
02:54:09.000And it was so worth telling, because to me, if five comics in the back are fucking laughing, like when I came up, I was trying to make David Taylor, Ari Shafir, and these motherfuckers laugh in the back.
02:54:20.000And I was like, if I just spoke, I don't know if I'm ever going to get these people from the Czech Republic to laugh, but if they laugh, I must be funny.
02:54:29.000And I wrote this joke for the Joan Rivers roast because, you know, Montreal used to have this thing called new faces.
02:54:34.000I mean, I'm sure they still do, but it was like all the new comics would do stand up in front of only agents and managers and just eat shit because it was in front of only agents and managers.
02:55:02.000And that, to me, is a big part of what podcasting does.
02:55:06.000People get to hear all this inside shit, but it still feels universal to them.
02:55:11.000Yeah, well, in everything, if you talk to people that make knives, if you talk to people that make sculptures, whatever it is they do, there's something in all those things that's universal.
02:55:24.000And that something is a person trying to do their best at whatever the craft is, whatever the thing is.
02:55:32.000Somewhere around it you're going to encounter a certain amount of resistance.
02:55:35.000We encounter more resistance than most because we're doing something that is controversial in that it's opinions based on what is happening in culture.
02:55:46.000And when you're a person like myself and you've had a disproportionate amount of success and you do that very thing where you mock things and make fun of things and give your opinions, I understand what's happening.
02:56:17.000When they meet me, they're always nice.
02:56:19.000I understand that some people maybe don't like me, or if they met me, they would be hesitant, but I guarantee you, if you meet me and you're nice, I'll be nice too.
02:56:39.000You become a Rorschach test to people.
02:56:42.000And I think that, you know, in this pandemic, when you, you know, your voice, because you've earned the trust of people, you've earned, you know, people listening to you for nine hours a week.
02:58:10.000You're medicinal for people both ways when they listen to you and go, yeah, fuck yeah, Joe.
02:58:14.000And when they go, fuck you, Joe, you're providing medicine in both ways because you're either giving someone adrenaline and self-righteousness, even whether they're wrong or right, and they're It also makes you recognize what is making other people upset.
02:59:39.000If you were on camera for nine hours a week, you would never say something that you look back on.
02:59:45.000I probably should have said that differently.
02:59:47.000There's no way to do this any other way.
02:59:49.000If you want to do it the way I do it, here's what I do.
02:59:52.000I say what I'm thinking at the moment.
02:59:55.000But one thing I don't ever do is think, I want people to like me more, so I'm going to say something I don't believe so they'll like me more.
03:00:12.000That is, to me, the most badass gangster shit you can do.
03:00:15.000Because all these people, anyone that would have anything negative towards anyone like you, or, you know, I get people come at me so fucking much.
03:00:21.000Joe, during that time, you know, and I think that I don't want to, you know, underplay how valuable it was to me to have you and Annie Letterman and comics, like, connecting with me during the time that I was trying to have outdoor shows at my house during the pandemic at a time where people...
03:00:35.000Well, you were getting attacked, and it was really freaking me out because I was like...
03:00:38.000I don't want to defend her because I know you can defend yourself.
03:00:41.000But there was a part of me that was like, what are you saying?
03:00:44.000She's testing everybody and she's doing an outdoor show in her fucking backyard.
03:00:48.000Do you not want to celebrate that this is a celebration of comedy?
03:02:33.000I'm like, tell me a reason, scientifically, that this shouldn't be possible.
03:02:37.000Whitney, but it goes down to what we said before.
03:02:39.000It's like this kind of communication that you're doing, whether it's through Twitter or Facebook or whatever it is, it's just not the way people are supposed to talk.
03:02:46.000If you talk to that one person, one-on-one, that disagreed with you, you would tell them what you're doing and they would go, oh, I see what you're doing.
03:02:54.000I just want to live and I want to do comedy because I'm going crazy because being around my friends is as essential as drinking water or taking vitamins or eating food.
03:03:04.000In the same way you want to talk about families being broken, I don't have a family, and comedians are my family.
03:03:09.000And if you're telling me that I can't figure out a way to get all these people that are sitting alone in their apartments together to engage in their anesthesia and their coping mechanism and the thing that pays their bills and maybe their parents' bills, you can't come at me for that, especially if you have a ton of money and you're sitting in your mansion.