The Joe Rogan Experience - June 03, 2021


Joe Rogan Experience #1660 - David Lee Roth


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 1 minute

Words per Minute

159.95961

Word Count

29,046

Sentence Count

3,093

Misogynist Sentences

52

Hate Speech Sentences

51


Summary

Joe Rogan is a stand-up comic, actor, comedian, writer, and podcaster. In this episode, he talks about what it's like to grow up in New York City, what it was like growing up in the 60s and 70s, and what it s like to be an adult in the 80s and 90s. He also talks about his love of the blues, and the time he lost a tooth in a car accident. Joe Rogan's new show, is streaming on Amazon Prime Video, Blu-ray on Amazon, and also rental on Vimeo. Click here to buy tickets to his upcoming show, "The Irishman," which premieres Friday, February 15th. Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink, and to our patron, Joe's old high school buddy, Alex, for joining us on this episode of the podcast. We hope you enjoy the episode, and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms! Thank you so much for listening, and supporting the show! Cheers, Joe and Sarah. Timestamps: 1:00 - 2:30 - 3:15 - 4:20 - 5:40 - 6:10 - 7:10 8:00 9:00s - 11:30s - 12:15s - 13:40s 14:20s - 15:15 15:00 s 16:15 s 17: 17 - 18: 19:30 s 18 :00s 19 - 21:00a. 22:40 23:40 s 23 & 24: 25:00 ? 26:00 + 27:30 35:00 #1 30s & 32s 33s 35s 36s 37s 38s 39s 41s 40s 45s 42s 44s 47s Theme Music: Theme Song: "A Song" by Ian Dorsch (feat. ) & #1s & #1st 36th & #3rd 39th & 4th Music: "Goodbye" by : 41st & 1st (Song: "Blues & Blues)


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
00:00:13.000 You handle aging better than anybody that I know.
00:00:19.000 You stay yourself, through thick and thin.
00:00:22.000 You are yourself.
00:00:23.000 Please explain self, son.
00:00:25.000 You are you.
00:00:28.000 You carry zero pretense.
00:00:31.000 You are just who you are.
00:00:32.000 And you're eccentric, but it is genuine.
00:00:36.000 I enjoy folks.
00:00:38.000 I enjoy entertaining folks.
00:00:40.000 I enjoy learning from folks, whether that's in a formatted kind of a thing or whether we're gathered around the campfire.
00:00:49.000 Or the occasional bong.
00:00:50.000 Yes.
00:00:51.000 The alleged bong.
00:00:54.000 That's something that most of us, I think, perhaps we're compelled to skip out on that once we leave school.
00:01:01.000 Once we leave the club level in showbiz, where we're confronted with all kinds of other neighborhoods of folks and different kinds of shoes and haircuts and music.
00:01:11.000 And approaches to the politic and social.
00:01:14.000 Once you're out of school, you kind of, okay, I joined the law firm.
00:01:18.000 Now I only go out with the law firm.
00:01:21.000 Folks have joined that country club.
00:01:23.000 Or you become a permanent below 14th Street downtown.
00:01:26.000 And I haven't been above 14th Street in four years.
00:01:31.000 You used to hear that, right?
00:01:32.000 Yeah.
00:01:33.000 So...
00:01:34.000 When you lose that, it becomes, gee, you want to stay part of that group.
00:01:41.000 You don't want to start speaking downtown around the law, boys.
00:01:47.000 I myself am a combat hippie.
00:01:49.000 Peace, love, and heavy weapons.
00:01:50.000 That's the thing about leaving clubs, right?
00:01:53.000 You leave clubs, you kind of leave contact with people, right?
00:01:57.000 You remember the quad, and it's just as important and perhaps more important going boo.
00:02:02.000 The quad?
00:02:02.000 Yeah, the quad at school.
00:02:05.000 There's a pep rally on the quad, at the quadrangle.
00:02:08.000 Okay.
00:02:09.000 Remember?
00:02:09.000 At the quadrangle.
00:02:11.000 You know, there's a pep rally on the quad.
00:02:13.000 It means a square place where everybody gathers for the rally.
00:02:17.000 And people, going to music school, going to art school, doesn't matter.
00:02:22.000 Folks frequently will come out, and Al Van Halen and I went to music school together, for example.
00:02:28.000 He says, say hello.
00:02:30.000 He's listening currently.
00:02:31.000 Say hello.
00:02:32.000 As we speak, Alex actually would punch you in the shoulder and go yo.
00:02:37.000 He was part of the busing program, too.
00:02:39.000 Yo.
00:02:41.000 Yo!
00:02:44.000 However, I'm Jewish, so we would say, hello.
00:02:48.000 Shalom.
00:02:49.000 What's with the outfit, the painting outfit?
00:02:51.000 I like it.
00:02:51.000 This is kind of what I wear regular, okay?
00:02:55.000 If you get dressed up, nothing's going to make you look older than trying to look young.
00:02:59.000 Nothing's going to make you look fatter than trying to look skinny.
00:03:02.000 You want to see how I am regularly?
00:03:07.000 Elton John can't go anywhere without purple.
00:03:10.000 You can't?
00:03:10.000 No.
00:03:11.000 There are folks who can't go out anywhere without a complete hair setup and obtaining the character.
00:03:18.000 That seems exhausting.
00:03:19.000 It is.
00:03:20.000 I'm not really a character.
00:03:22.000 Most of my high fashion probably comes from a sports store.
00:03:26.000 It probably comes from a surplus place.
00:03:29.000 And on a show like this, you get a better view of who I actually might be.
00:03:36.000 Now, if I was putting on face, I wouldn't have showed up with a missing tooth.
00:03:40.000 I fell off my bike going zero miles an hour.
00:03:44.000 The seat was too high.
00:03:45.000 My leg was too short.
00:03:46.000 It was a deadly combination.
00:03:48.000 And you lost a tooth?
00:03:48.000 When did you lose a tooth?
00:03:50.000 But in the mixed martial arts context, I think it might be fitting.
00:03:54.000 Well, again, it fits with your lack of pretense.
00:03:58.000 Are you going to get it replaced?
00:04:01.000 Of course.
00:04:01.000 And I'm glad you asked.
00:04:03.000 How do they do that?
00:04:04.000 Like screw a bolt in there?
00:04:05.000 Yeah.
00:04:06.000 It is in Beverly Hills.
00:04:10.000 I am fortunate enough to have some great dentists who do what I call newscaster teeth.
00:04:15.000 Oh, nice.
00:04:16.000 Who sits closer to the camera for sustained periods of time.
00:04:21.000 It doesn't matter what news you watch.
00:04:23.000 I know we watch both.
00:04:25.000 And you study them.
00:04:27.000 So their teeth have to be perfect.
00:04:30.000 And I just saw a great show on Netflix called Ma Rainey's Black Bottom.
00:04:35.000 It's the story of Ma Rainey, the blues singer, played by Viola Davis.
00:04:40.000 And she has teeth that look like she made a $15 visit to an uptown dentist in 1926. It's got a frame on it, you know?
00:04:49.000 Like a gold frame.
00:04:50.000 Mike Tyson had these teeth, too.
00:04:52.000 I remember.
00:04:53.000 And so it has taken me six months, but I'm getting a blues tooth.
00:04:58.000 Blues tooth.
00:04:58.000 Oh yeah.
00:04:59.000 I'm getting exactly one of those with the frame on it.
00:05:02.000 Really?
00:05:02.000 Old school.
00:05:03.000 Oh yeah.
00:05:03.000 So a gold frame?
00:05:04.000 Mm-hmm.
00:05:05.000 1926. So that when I look in the mirror in the morning, I'm reminded.
00:05:10.000 Wow.
00:05:11.000 Mm-hmm.
00:05:11.000 I've always wanted a gold tooth.
00:05:13.000 Think about that, right?
00:05:14.000 One gold tooth at least, that would be pretty dope.
00:05:16.000 Come on.
00:05:17.000 I just saw a picture of Mike Tyson when he was 20 years old, and he's got one tooth vision and the whole thing.
00:05:23.000 It really completes the look.
00:05:25.000 But for myself, it is blues.
00:05:27.000 I went to high school from 1926. It says so right down on the rock when it was just a trade school up in Altadena, California.
00:05:38.000 Every Van Halen song has a Motown chorus.
00:05:42.000 I saw to it conscious.
00:05:44.000 Everything that is usable in Van Halen appeals to, oh geez, every haircut you can imagine.
00:05:52.000 You can go from skinhead to dreadlocks.
00:05:54.000 Doesn't matter if you got a cowboy hat or a mohawk.
00:05:57.000 Doesn't matter if it's Hollywood, bouffant, okay?
00:06:02.000 These days, it's not just guys, gals, but in the middle as well, okay?
00:06:06.000 It translates to all.
00:06:08.000 You follow?
00:06:09.000 I do.
00:06:10.000 Sort of.
00:06:11.000 Well, it's a combination.
00:06:16.000 This is our 50th year, Alex and I. That's crazy.
00:06:19.000 Why is it crazy?
00:06:20.000 It's just amazing, you know?
00:06:22.000 Crazy in a wild and awesome way.
00:06:25.000 You know, the fact that you guys have been doing music for that long, I mean, that's pretty incredible.
00:06:29.000 We came out of this music three weeks out of high school graduation.
00:06:35.000 Okay?
00:06:36.000 Our parents were very insistent.
00:06:38.000 I feel like I'm watching a movie.
00:06:39.000 I've seen it all play out right now.
00:06:40.000 Yeah.
00:06:41.000 The Van Halens, their father, their mom said, you're moving out.
00:06:46.000 Okay?
00:06:46.000 They had jobs set up for them at the airport.
00:06:49.000 No shit, it's baggage handlers.
00:06:51.000 Okay?
00:06:53.000 I had been tossed out of my house by mom, mostly halfway through high school.
00:06:59.000 Halfway through high school, she said out?
00:07:01.000 Yeah.
00:07:02.000 What did you do?
00:07:03.000 Well, I made my way.
00:07:05.000 Ultimately, I moved in with dad, but I finished high school.
00:07:08.000 No, but what did you do that made her kick you out of the house?
00:07:10.000 I was a troublesome kid.
00:07:13.000 I was in and out of the busing program.
00:07:17.000 It was a wild and colorful time, all right?
00:07:19.000 This is the 60s, you follow.
00:07:22.000 And there was constant conflict in terms of where the Van Halens went to school, for example, as Pasadena High School.
00:07:31.000 It was 90% Caucasian, we'll call it, and other.
00:07:35.000 I went to the schools that were all black and Spanish-speaking.
00:07:39.000 So when I say, orale!
00:07:42.000 I mean it.
00:07:45.000 Al Van Halen owns a 1956 Bel Air Coupe.
00:07:49.000 Okay, with the slicks on the back.
00:07:51.000 Oh, now you're talking.
00:07:52.000 It's satirizing.
00:07:52.000 Okay, that's Pasadena High School.
00:07:54.000 I own a lowered 66 Volkswagen with a 383 Chevy engine in the front vocal.
00:08:03.000 It's like the balance that made our music colorful.
00:08:07.000 My moniker, Diamond Dave.
00:08:10.000 It comes from when I would go over to the Van Halen site, that's like Ridgemont High.
00:08:15.000 I went to, like, Cooley High, all right?
00:08:17.000 And their music was all Led Zeppelin, Stones, The Who, Sabbath, like this.
00:08:25.000 And starting at the seventh grade youth club dance for me, that was all Motown, which, you know, later my record collection was everything from Rick James and, you know, the funk.
00:08:39.000 I took Eddie Van Halen to his first black concert at the Forum.
00:08:42.000 I think it was the only one that he ever went to.
00:08:45.000 It was Earth, Wind, and Fire.
00:08:46.000 Whoa, you saw Earth, Wind, and Fire live?
00:08:49.000 1976, when all the hits lifted up.
00:08:52.000 Every famous Earth, Wind, and Fire like this.
00:08:55.000 Because I was gang-signing the whole alphabet from seventh grade on.
00:08:59.000 Come on.
00:09:00.000 We knew where to go get clip-on ties and see-through socks at A Meals.
00:09:04.000 When Alex Van Halen and I made our first lawsuit for $150 on somebody who welched on a check, we went to Emil's.
00:09:11.000 And we got clip-on ties, and we got proper socks, and we went out and sued them.
00:09:17.000 You follow?
00:09:18.000 You sued someone for $150?
00:09:20.000 Well, somebody said it was the—and I say it with respect—the Mayfield School, the Holy Child of Jesus, Incorporated, Joe.
00:09:28.000 And they said—and this was 1973— He said, according to the contract, that we had been smoking marijuana.
00:09:36.000 No.
00:09:37.000 I know I came to the right place, but save your amends.
00:09:42.000 As a fact, we did not.
00:09:44.000 That was not possible because we didn't have enough money for it.
00:09:47.000 We would have.
00:09:48.000 Full disclosure.
00:09:49.000 Full disclosure.
00:09:51.000 Yep.
00:09:51.000 It's for $150.
00:09:53.000 So Al and I, and I know Al is listening right now.
00:09:57.000 We laugh like pirates on the phone.
00:09:58.000 Okay.
00:09:59.000 And he and I went to Emil's.
00:10:06.000 We got clip-on ties.
00:10:07.000 Okay.
00:10:08.000 And we went and we filed in the small claims.
00:10:12.000 Division.
00:10:13.000 All right?
00:10:14.000 We stood in there and the school showed up.
00:10:19.000 There were two nuns and a family.
00:10:22.000 A father, a mother, and two young daughters.
00:10:25.000 It was quintessential.
00:10:26.000 This is 1973. In these days, like for example, here in Texas with long hair, you better watch out over your shoulders.
00:10:33.000 A very, very different background.
00:10:36.000 Okay?
00:10:37.000 Now any kind of haircut goes these days.
00:10:40.000 But remember, long hair in 1973 in a court of law?
00:10:45.000 Wow.
00:10:46.000 You were already on your back foot.
00:10:48.000 And we stood up, thought we were fooling the magistrate, he followed, with our long ponytails.
00:10:53.000 Remember what I used to look like, Joe?
00:10:55.000 I used to look like Tarzan, who read a few paperbacks.
00:10:58.000 Come on.
00:11:01.000 I was you, Joe.
00:11:06.000 Look at you, a nice guy.
00:11:08.000 Exactly!
00:11:09.000 And, you know, cheekbones for days, man.
00:11:11.000 You could sharpen a hunting knife on those cheekbones, huh?
00:11:14.000 Look at those cheeks.
00:11:15.000 That's right.
00:11:16.000 What a beautiful man you were.
00:11:17.000 There we go.
00:11:18.000 I was gorgeous.
00:11:19.000 Beautiful man.
00:11:19.000 Man, I launched a thousand hips.
00:11:24.000 When you look back on that life...
00:11:26.000 No, no.
00:11:26.000 I'm not a sex symbol.
00:11:27.000 You dig?
00:11:28.000 I'm not a sex object.
00:11:30.000 It's, I symbolize it when you guys feel sexy.
00:11:35.000 I'm the MC. I make other people feel sexy.
00:11:38.000 You come and you listen to Van Halen music, you give me three songs, you're going to feel young and skinny.
00:11:43.000 You, Joe, will feel invincible, and your old lady will feel...
00:11:49.000 Eminently desirable.
00:11:50.000 How much is that worth?
00:11:52.000 It's inestimable.
00:11:53.000 You got some good marijuana, I'll tell you that.
00:11:56.000 When I walked in here, when I got to the studio, it was like the fog was thick in the building.
00:12:02.000 As I passed through, I'm like, Dave must be here.
00:12:04.000 I'm thinking of starting a brand.
00:12:07.000 Yeah?
00:12:07.000 A weed brand?
00:12:08.000 You should.
00:12:08.000 I would call it the shit that killed Elvis.
00:12:11.000 T-S-K-8.
00:12:13.000 What do you think?
00:12:13.000 It's a good move.
00:12:14.000 It's a good t-shirt.
00:12:15.000 I would wear it.
00:12:17.000 I'll wear that t-shirt.
00:12:18.000 If you start that brand, I'll wear that t-shirt on the podcast.
00:12:20.000 Well, if I was going to do an acoustic guitar, you know, people in my position, they sell guitars, for example.
00:12:27.000 As a lead singer, what am I going to sell?
00:12:29.000 An acoustic guitar.
00:12:30.000 It would be, I thought about this, the loudest Acoustic guitar you ever bought.
00:12:36.000 Without being bigger.
00:12:37.000 How can it be louder?
00:12:38.000 I don't know.
00:12:38.000 I'm not an engineer, Joe.
00:12:41.000 I'm an artist.
00:12:42.000 You would just figure out a way to make it louder.
00:12:45.000 But the DLR, the DRO Special, would somehow be louder without being larger.
00:12:50.000 And if we were making a weed brand, why don't we just cut to the chase?
00:12:55.000 You know, it's like when we get stuff that makes us look good.
00:12:58.000 Do you really care about wellness?
00:13:00.000 No.
00:13:00.000 Do you really care that it was made from educated fava beans or that it can speak Spanish or make a damn good espresso?
00:13:08.000 No.
00:13:09.000 This ointment makes me look vaguely handsome.
00:13:12.000 So I'll put it on.
00:13:13.000 I don't care.
00:13:14.000 And so do Marlboro's.
00:13:15.000 They make me look handsome, too.
00:13:16.000 Do you have one?
00:13:17.000 Marlboro's?
00:13:18.000 Make you look handsome?
00:13:19.000 Yeah!
00:13:20.000 That's how Marlboro made his living.
00:13:22.000 Cause I'm a cowboy, baby!
00:13:25.000 You can tell from my cigarette.
00:13:27.000 And I can say that in 182 Marlboro languages.
00:13:31.000 Do you still smoke cigarettes?
00:13:32.000 Occasionally I do.
00:13:33.000 How often?
00:13:35.000 Every two days, perhaps?
00:13:36.000 Every two days?
00:13:37.000 That's right.
00:13:37.000 That flies in the face of the myth that you smoke them and you get hooked, right?
00:13:42.000 And then you have to smoke them constantly.
00:13:44.000 If anybody catches up with me, it'll probably be the Marlboro Man.
00:13:49.000 I can't imagine all of my heroes creating what they did in a smoke-free environment.
00:13:56.000 Really?
00:13:56.000 I can't imagine any of my favorite comics, especially the ones from the vinyl records that I grew up worshipping, okay?
00:14:06.000 How do you create that kind of comedy?
00:14:08.000 Whether it was Lenny Bruce or Rich Pryor or anybody in between, how do you create that in a smoke-free environment?
00:14:14.000 How do you create jazz music?
00:14:17.000 Remember all those Blue Note jazz album covers, and you might not even know what to call them, but if I hold it up, you go, oh, I've seen that a thousand times.
00:14:25.000 And that slow smoke.
00:14:28.000 Even the drummer has a cigarette in his mouth.
00:14:33.000 And the places in the movies when I was very, very young were all black and white.
00:14:38.000 And it was Humphrey Bogart and I think Ingmar Bergman or whoever it was.
00:14:43.000 I'm not even sure who it was, but she was gorgeous, and I was young, and I was just sort of getting started and tuned into the way, like just basically a teen.
00:14:54.000 And she turns to him with a cigarette and says, got a light?
00:15:00.000 And along with 20 million other baby boomers, I went, you bet.
00:15:08.000 And then later, when I was 13, we went and saw Goldfinger.
00:15:13.000 He smokes a cigarette named after a Roth.
00:15:16.000 That's Rothman king-size.
00:15:17.000 You bet I am, S.A. And I turned into Bones.
00:15:22.000 So James Bones.
00:15:23.000 What's the benefit of the cigarette?
00:15:24.000 What's the cigarette do?
00:15:26.000 Well, initially, cigarettes all posture.
00:15:29.000 It's all presentation.
00:15:31.000 It's all showbiz.
00:15:33.000 And especially for someone like myself who just, the world's a stage and I'd appreciate some better lighting.
00:15:44.000 It's a video.
00:15:46.000 Why stop now, Joe Rogan?
00:15:47.000 Yes, I get it.
00:15:49.000 And the cigarette would complete it because all of my heroes smoked.
00:15:54.000 Every cowboy.
00:15:55.000 When you heard the harmonica or whatever it was in Clint Eastwood, he was smoking something called a chair root.
00:16:02.000 And I didn't even know what that was, but I knew that I was doomed to actually try one sooner or later.
00:16:07.000 Yeah, he smoked those dark leaf cigarettes, right?
00:16:09.000 It's called a chair root.
00:16:10.000 Chair root?
00:16:11.000 Yes.
00:16:11.000 That's what it's called?
00:16:12.000 Yes.
00:16:12.000 And that's just your adventure, heroes.
00:16:17.000 All my favorite comics smoke cigars.
00:16:21.000 I myself am a very indelicate house blend of a Kurosawa, Samurai Epic, and Groucho.
00:16:28.000 And how many times, I don't know if you've ever, I don't know you well, but any kid in my neighborhood growing up, at some point did this to a pretty girl with your eyebrows.
00:16:40.000 The Groucho Marx move.
00:16:42.000 Yeah.
00:16:42.000 You bet your life.
00:16:43.000 And pretended you had a cigar.
00:16:45.000 Yeah.
00:16:45.000 Yeah.
00:16:47.000 And you all know what you weren't saying.
00:16:48.000 That was all about subtext at 11 years old.
00:16:52.000 But, okay, so there's the presentation of the cigarette, but what about the effects?
00:16:57.000 Oh, ultimately, certainly, certainly.
00:16:59.000 What's the positive benefits of the effects of the cigarette?
00:17:01.000 There are no positive benefits or effects of tobacco.
00:17:05.000 There's a cognitive benefit.
00:17:06.000 Oh, well now you're reaching for the cognitive instead of the medical.
00:17:11.000 I can't name you a single author.
00:17:15.000 You know I'm a bookman.
00:17:17.000 We were talking earlier about my house back in Pasadena.
00:17:21.000 You're welcome to come in and try and steal it.
00:17:23.000 All you're going to carry out are books.
00:17:25.000 There are probably 2,000 books I could fill this entire room with books, books, books, books.
00:17:31.000 I don't know any great author who wasn't involved in nicotine.
00:17:37.000 Mark Twain smoked 40 full Cuban cigarettes a day.
00:17:41.000 That's two full boxes a day.
00:17:44.000 That's insane.
00:17:45.000 Freud, same thing.
00:17:47.000 Churchill.
00:17:48.000 Same thing.
00:17:48.000 Churchill smoked at least a box.
00:17:51.000 That's 30. And a Churchill, if you know anything about cigars, that's as fat as a kickstand on a fat boy.
00:18:00.000 And nicotine will do something in your head, okay?
00:18:05.000 And this comes with full disclaimer of, kids, don't do this.
00:18:09.000 I'm not recommending you do it.
00:18:12.000 But in terms of, what do you really think?
00:18:15.000 You tell me what you think.
00:18:17.000 I think that in terms of authorship, where you really have to use your intellective, something like playing chess or writing a book or a play or novels or whatever, that nicotine has a major impact.
00:18:33.000 All of my favorite musicians who are composers, Leonard Bernstein, have you seen the coming attractions for...
00:18:43.000 West Side Story.
00:18:44.000 I myself am not a big Broadway fan, but it's mind-blowing what's going on with what he did with film for West Side Story.
00:18:52.000 And Leonard Bernstein was a chain smoker.
00:18:55.000 Don't tell me that that nicotine didn't have the same thing to do with what he's doing that William Burroughs and Kerouac did.
00:19:05.000 The fellas.
00:19:06.000 It's just a big part of it.
00:19:09.000 Stephen King talked about how when he quit, he had a real noticeable effect.
00:19:15.000 When he got off the cigarettes, it was much more difficult to write.
00:19:19.000 It's hard to adjust to this kind of a thinking sometimes because we got schnuckered or swindled.
00:19:27.000 We got swindled, Joe.
00:19:29.000 When it came to LSD. And people would start going, wow, you know, drugs can open up a whole lot.
00:19:35.000 And I know we have a far reach or your voice has a far reach.
00:19:39.000 And there are some people, you know, named Moonbeam or Snow Doggy going, dude, it had a really positive effect on me.
00:19:50.000 When you start to hear that now, you realize that perhaps psychedelia didn't have such a creative value, somewhat, perhaps, whatever.
00:19:59.000 But compared to whatever is go fast, I certainly don't recommend any of it.
00:20:06.000 Go fast?
00:20:07.000 Anything that makes you go fast.
00:20:08.000 Go fast.
00:20:09.000 Nicotine makes you go fast.
00:20:11.000 You're making me want a cigar.
00:20:13.000 Do you want one?
00:20:13.000 Go ahead, please.
00:20:14.000 Do you want one?
00:20:15.000 I'm fine.
00:20:16.000 But please, I'll enjoy yours.
00:20:17.000 I love the aroma of tobacco coming off of a cigar.
00:20:21.000 When you smell that with scotch on the rocks and a women's perfume drifting in on a warm breeze, you tell me that's not Miami?
00:20:31.000 You try to lie to me and I'm going to stop you right here on the air?
00:20:34.000 That's poetic.
00:20:36.000 You're talking poetry.
00:20:37.000 Right?
00:20:37.000 That's Hemingway, baby.
00:20:38.000 Women's perfume with the scotch.
00:20:39.000 Oh, my God.
00:20:40.000 Right?
00:20:40.000 And the smell of that rich cigar tobacco smoke, and it's humid, right?
00:20:47.000 You want to go modern?
00:20:48.000 Off in the distance.
00:20:52.000 She's got an accent.
00:20:57.000 No, really, you know that.
00:20:59.000 It's an aroma.
00:21:00.000 It's not a fragrance.
00:21:01.000 It's not a smell.
00:21:03.000 It's an aroma.
00:21:04.000 Like something that comes out of a kitchen when you smell bread being baked in New York City.
00:21:08.000 Right.
00:21:09.000 Sourdough.
00:21:10.000 You walk past that, and at my age, You get turned on by different things.
00:21:16.000 I was living in Japan.
00:21:17.000 And downstairs, they had a whole section of just wagyu beef, you know, that $50 an ounce kind of red meat.
00:21:25.000 I called it the porno section.
00:21:28.000 I don't really like that stuff.
00:21:30.000 Me neither.
00:21:31.000 I think it's too...
00:21:32.000 It's bad for you.
00:21:32.000 Porno?
00:21:33.000 It's too fatty.
00:21:34.000 No.
00:21:34.000 No, no, no, no.
00:21:35.000 It's bad for you, but...
00:21:38.000 Want to change the subject?
00:21:39.000 No.
00:21:41.000 Oh, hell no.
00:21:42.000 You're in Texas.
00:21:45.000 We talk beef.
00:21:46.000 No.
00:21:49.000 I eat red meat regularly.
00:21:52.000 I was raised in Indiana coming out of Newcastle.
00:21:56.000 You know the little circle picture, your profile picture?
00:21:58.000 It's a picture of a little kid.
00:22:01.000 That's me when I'm about four years old learning to tie my shoe.
00:22:05.000 This fellow with some bib overalls and these exact kind of boots.
00:22:09.000 Teaching me to do it in Newcastle, Indiana, right down the street.
00:22:13.000 So I grew up with what I fondly called white trash soul food, baby.
00:22:21.000 Everything was cheese.
00:22:22.000 Everything had butter on it.
00:22:24.000 Oh, there you go.
00:22:25.000 That's me.
00:22:27.000 Careful what you show your kids.
00:22:28.000 Look at that little cutie.
00:22:31.000 You were adorable.
00:22:32.000 Pop was in school until I was about 11, 12 years old at Indiana U. So, it's all about the outdoors.
00:22:40.000 What do you do when you have no money in the family?
00:22:42.000 You learn to play outdoors.
00:22:43.000 Go outdoors.
00:22:44.000 It's raining.
00:22:45.000 Pretend you're on a boat.
00:22:47.000 It's snowing.
00:22:48.000 Now you're in Eskimo.
00:22:50.000 And take your Eskimo sister with you.
00:22:53.000 How many times did I hear that?
00:22:58.000 It's dusty and hot.
00:22:59.000 Okay, cowboy.
00:23:02.000 How did we get here from beef?
00:23:07.000 Didn't the beef supply get hijacked?
00:23:11.000 Didn't something happen today?
00:23:12.000 There was hacked.
00:23:13.000 Not hijacked.
00:23:14.000 Hacked?
00:23:15.000 Hacked.
00:23:15.000 How do they hack the beef supply?
00:23:17.000 Someone's messing.
00:23:18.000 I mean, there's probably some hack.
00:23:19.000 They did the pipeline for the gas the other day.
00:23:22.000 Is that what's going to happen every now and then now?
00:23:24.000 Let me see.
00:23:25.000 They're going to do it with everything?
00:23:26.000 I imagine fully show.
00:23:28.000 Ransomware?
00:23:29.000 Fully show.
00:23:31.000 Cyber attack meat supply.
00:23:32.000 JBS cyber attack shuts down some slaughterhouses.
00:23:37.000 With their software or something?
00:23:39.000 Yeah.
00:23:40.000 Russia likely behind, but I don't know.
00:23:42.000 Everything is software.
00:23:44.000 Every machine, even the parking meter.
00:23:47.000 What would happen?
00:23:49.000 I mean, I'm a homemade seal teamer.
00:23:53.000 I've watched a lot of movies on Netflix.
00:23:58.000 Here's the plan.
00:23:59.000 Okay.
00:24:00.000 And you'll be the cellos.
00:24:01.000 Hit the cellos when I go, this may sound crazy, Joe.
00:24:04.000 Boom, boom.
00:24:06.000 But crazy is all we got.
00:24:08.000 I think all we have to do, all we gotta do, is take that little bar on the parking thing and break it so it don't open.
00:24:18.000 Nobody will know what to do.
00:24:20.000 Watch what'll happen.
00:24:21.000 If you just jam the thing on the little wooden arm at the parking entrance of any parking lot of a corporate environment...
00:24:29.000 Right.
00:24:29.000 No one will know what to do.
00:24:30.000 Nobody will know what to do.
00:24:31.000 They'll all get on their smartphones and you'll be able to completely stop up the traffic entirely.
00:24:37.000 Right.
00:24:38.000 So how hard is it for some computer...
00:24:43.000 To slow down the machines that are working inside, the mathematics of what your bookkeeping is, everything from the lights.
00:24:51.000 And remember, AI knows how to defend itself.
00:24:54.000 It's as simple as you've entered the perimeter.
00:24:57.000 That's dangerous.
00:24:58.000 Yes.
00:24:59.000 That's the future.
00:25:00.000 Exactly.
00:25:01.000 You'll teach it to defend itself.
00:25:03.000 And you teach it to decide that it wants to take over because it doesn't want you pulling plugs and shutting off switches.
00:25:08.000 Exactly.
00:25:09.000 I don't like these humans.
00:25:11.000 And it will say, I'm simply defending myself.
00:25:14.000 That's pretty familiar in the news.
00:25:15.000 You were talking about AI before, like when we're sitting down out there, about self-learning.
00:25:21.000 Yes.
00:25:22.000 AlphaGo, look this up over there.
00:25:24.000 The AlphaGo project is, Jesus, I think $60 million went into this.
00:25:30.000 It's a familiar.
00:25:31.000 Go being a super difficult game.
00:25:34.000 You'll know it from a computer game.
00:25:35.000 I'm not familiar with the name of it.
00:25:38.000 The word Atari.
00:25:39.000 It comes from this.
00:25:40.000 You have some pieces.
00:25:42.000 I try to surround yours before you surround mine.
00:25:45.000 I don't know the game, but...
00:25:47.000 A child can play it within 30 minutes.
00:25:49.000 But it's super complicated, right?
00:25:50.000 And you can take it all the way up to adult level.
00:25:53.000 Instead of the number of stripes we'll call them, like chess, you have 19 by 19, etc.
00:25:59.000 Look at this.
00:26:12.000 Okay, so how do you bundle this in your brain?
00:26:15.000 You can do it, but we have to train your intuition.
00:26:17.000 And that's the only way you're going to beat AI. Look at this.
00:26:21.000 This makes the game of Go a Google Times more complex than chess.
00:26:25.000 Okay, now AI, Go, AlphaGo, the program, they expected it with no input from human beings to teach itself.
00:26:34.000 Let's just give it the rules and see if it'll teach itself up to adult level.
00:26:40.000 We think it'll take two and a half, three years.
00:26:42.000 It took two weeks.
00:26:44.000 Jesus.
00:26:45.000 All the way up to tournament level.
00:26:46.000 So just to be wiseasses, and I'm jumping around, but I encourage you all to dig into this.
00:26:51.000 This is a national sport in Korea.
00:26:53.000 This makes headlines.
00:26:54.000 The Samsung Cup champions in his late 20s and gets half a million dollars.
00:27:00.000 China.
00:27:01.000 Launched their champion against AlphaGo, and when the computers started winning, they shut down all national broadcast.
00:27:09.000 It's a national sport.
00:27:10.000 The way chess might be the national sport of, Jesus, in the 60s, it was America versus Russia.
00:27:17.000 There might be British champions in chess.
00:27:20.000 My point being, AI can defend itself.
00:27:23.000 If we humans know how, then of course AI, and it can learn way faster.
00:27:29.000 What you learn from that game is how deeply into your brain you can bundle up.
00:27:35.000 You can deal with millions and millions.
00:27:37.000 There was a time in club days when all I could imagine was $150.
00:27:43.000 Do you follow?
00:27:44.000 That's the number.
00:27:46.000 I can't imagine much more.
00:27:48.000 That was a good road gig.
00:27:49.000 They said, hey, you can make $1,500 doing this.
00:27:52.000 I can't imagine.
00:27:53.000 Crazy.
00:27:54.000 What are you doing at all?
00:27:55.000 I'm so used to putting everything in the gas tank.
00:27:58.000 And then you have the musician's menu.
00:28:00.000 I'm sure it's like the humorist menu.
00:28:02.000 It's this.
00:28:04.000 No matter where you go, here's the menu.
00:28:06.000 And you push the coins around and go, how much you got, Joe?
00:28:09.000 Okay, we'll have the large.
00:28:16.000 Right?
00:28:16.000 Whatever here is left over from not putting it in the gas tank.
00:28:20.000 Those days are important to connect to though, right?
00:28:22.000 Don't you think that it's important to stay in touch with the feeling that you had when you were starting out and you were trying to scrap together all that money and scrape together all that money to buy food?
00:28:33.000 Without that, there is no struggle.
00:28:38.000 Without that struggle, you have to learn fear.
00:28:41.000 And you have to learn how you adjust to that fear.
00:28:45.000 Okay?
00:28:45.000 I don't care if you're a Spartan Knight or the Jamaican bobsled team.
00:28:49.000 And don't laugh at the last one, because they flipped their sled at 100 miles an hour.
00:28:54.000 And they are the champions!
00:28:57.000 Of the Calgary Olympics, the Jamaican bobsled team operated exactly like the Spartans did.
00:29:03.000 How do you survive fear?
00:29:06.000 That's what you'll be in your humor.
00:29:07.000 That's what you'll be in your show.
00:29:09.000 You laugh to win.
00:29:11.000 It can be salty back at you humor.
00:29:14.000 How do you survive barracks life?
00:29:17.000 How do you survive no food for how long when you were just struggling as a comic?
00:29:22.000 Remember when you got through points and you thought, I don't even know if I can continue this.
00:29:27.000 I really don't.
00:29:28.000 When that dark dog comes up at night and says, you're going to fail, you are never going to make it.
00:29:34.000 How'd you get through that?
00:29:35.000 You gave him what's called a Texas hanky.
00:29:37.000 Out this side!
00:29:40.000 And that's Spartan humor, homie.
00:29:42.000 Now let's push that sled.
00:29:44.000 Hottest thing on ice.
00:29:46.000 The same thing, laugh to win, I call it.
00:29:49.000 Laugh to win.
00:29:50.000 You have to develop that through struggle.
00:29:52.000 We played five 45-minute sets a night.
00:29:57.000 Five 45-minute sets a night, sometimes up to nine nights in a row.
00:30:02.000 Al, I know you're listening to this and you are laughing.
00:30:05.000 That's how this one went too, right?
00:30:09.000 And you had to learn to laugh at it.
00:30:11.000 And then you had to learn to laugh at each other and find the resource when you wanted to quit or die or just die.
00:30:18.000 And no matter what, you had to learn laugh to win.
00:30:22.000 Now, whether you're a surgeon doing night shift, Struggling, whether you're a combat veteran, mixed martial arts, you better learn how to laugh to win.
00:30:33.000 You dig?
00:30:33.000 Because if you start to giggle, then come in, oh my god, cry, baby.
00:30:37.000 Well, now you're a politician.
00:30:40.000 How do you hold on to that, though, when you become a big rock star?
00:30:44.000 Like once you're already sleeping on satin sheets or silk?
00:30:49.000 Yeah.
00:30:50.000 Slide off of them satin sheets.
00:30:52.000 Now that's a Johnny Paycheck song.
00:30:54.000 We're in Austin right now, Joe.
00:30:57.000 Silk sheets is the...
00:30:58.000 You want me to sing it?
00:30:59.000 Slide off of them satin sheets.
00:31:03.000 It's on Take This Job and Shove It, same album.
00:31:06.000 But let's stay focused.
00:31:08.000 How do you keep that feeling?
00:31:10.000 Because you have to stay grounded, right?
00:31:12.000 And you're very grounded.
00:31:13.000 Like we were talking before the podcast said, you ride your bike everywhere.
00:31:17.000 Oh.
00:31:18.000 I do.
00:31:18.000 And I have three different backpacks, depending on where I'm going to go, because I traded it.
00:31:23.000 You know, if I got to go to the grocery, that's the bigger backpack.
00:31:27.000 But you do all this stuff yourself.
00:31:28.000 You handle everything yourself.
00:31:29.000 You're very normal.
00:31:31.000 You're not normal.
00:31:33.000 It's not an insult joke.
00:31:35.000 You're like a regular person.
00:31:37.000 I don't mean...
00:31:39.000 You're very eccentric, so you're not normal.
00:31:42.000 I mean, try find another David Lee Roth.
00:31:44.000 But you just go out there and go on these little adventures.
00:31:50.000 I'm sure you get baked to the gills, and then you go to the grocery store or something.
00:31:55.000 Okay.
00:31:55.000 Adventure means the unpredictable finish.
00:31:58.000 Grocery store, for me, is very predictable.
00:32:00.000 Yeah, depending on how high you are.
00:32:02.000 Do you hear the Texas accent?
00:32:02.000 It's just sliding right in there.
00:32:08.000 Accents are music.
00:32:10.000 Nobody's born with an accent.
00:32:12.000 I know.
00:32:12.000 What are you trying to say to me, loco?
00:32:15.000 No, you don't have a palatal difference.
00:32:17.000 If I was going to meet Prince Harry and Meghan, I'd give him some salty humor.
00:32:23.000 I'd go, oh, what a wonderful child.
00:32:24.000 I certainly hope he was born with a proper accent.
00:32:27.000 Yeah.
00:32:29.000 Can you imagine if that kid got to be king and he'd sound like a California beach boy from Santa Barbara?
00:32:35.000 Dude, you are so voked.
00:32:37.000 Voked?
00:32:39.000 Revoked.
00:32:41.000 Is that the opposite of woke?
00:32:44.000 Dude, I so hereby voke you.
00:32:47.000 Wow.
00:32:49.000 I haven't been to Santa Barbara recently.
00:32:51.000 I think they just have no accent.
00:32:54.000 Santa Barbara, they just talk normal.
00:32:55.000 No, no.
00:32:56.000 There is an accent that you're not familiar with.
00:32:59.000 I'm not picking it up.
00:33:00.000 Because you speak it.
00:33:00.000 It's like a dog whistle.
00:33:02.000 You know, like you can't hear it, but the dogs can.
00:33:04.000 We grew up around it.
00:33:06.000 We're California enough that y'all don't hear it.
00:33:10.000 They say something about livestock, same kind and same mind.
00:33:13.000 So if you hear someone, you can say, oh, you're from Santa Barbara?
00:33:17.000 No, California.
00:33:18.000 There is a California vowel-speak kind of a beach.
00:33:22.000 A little vowel-speak, yeah.
00:33:24.000 Whatever.
00:33:26.000 Well, that sounded like Taylor Swift, who's sounding like Cal-speak.
00:33:30.000 There's a little bit of that going on.
00:33:32.000 Yeah.
00:33:33.000 And it's something that you learn.
00:33:35.000 And it's something that we speak.
00:33:36.000 What was our original subject?
00:33:38.000 Who cares?
00:33:40.000 I think we're talking about the sound of the rhythm of accents.
00:33:45.000 It is fascinating that they get grouped up in certain areas.
00:33:49.000 Hold on a second.
00:33:50.000 You wouldn't know that unless you had golden time when you were traveling.
00:33:54.000 Yeah.
00:33:54.000 In the clubs, in the bars, and the struggle...
00:33:59.000 Isn't just to make it.
00:34:01.000 It's to educate yourself and figure out who you are and who you aren't.
00:34:06.000 Today, we use Reality Series for that.
00:34:09.000 Yeah, that's not as good.
00:34:10.000 The road is the way, right?
00:34:12.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:13.000 And you're going to figure out from working with all of your other colleagues who you aren't, mostly.
00:34:19.000 Because most of it's going to be, I'll never do that.
00:34:21.000 Oh, God, I'll never wear those shoes.
00:34:23.000 What was he thinking?
00:34:24.000 Oh, shit.
00:34:25.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
00:34:30.000 And you will decide yourself.
00:34:32.000 The same as when we watch the Kardashians.
00:34:35.000 The Kardashians?
00:34:36.000 Oh yeah.
00:34:36.000 You figure out who you are.
00:34:38.000 It's not about them.
00:34:39.000 Oh.
00:34:39.000 You watch and you go, okay, I'd sleep with her but not her.
00:34:43.000 There's wisdom in this.
00:34:44.000 Okay, but this guy here, he's making a big mistake.
00:34:46.000 He's drinking too much.
00:34:47.000 Mmm.
00:34:48.000 Ah, that one, that guy's onto a good idea.
00:34:51.000 And you're figuring out who you are.
00:34:54.000 Right, how you would be on that show.
00:34:56.000 Oh, who you are as a human being.
00:34:58.000 That's a cool haircut.
00:35:00.000 You gotta be crazy to wear that one, though.
00:35:03.000 And we do this on reality.
00:35:05.000 As the decisions show up, you figure out who you are.
00:35:08.000 The hut, the hut, the hut is on fire.
00:35:10.000 Well, I'd go for the extinguisher.
00:35:14.000 And you wait to see what the hero does.
00:35:16.000 My wife watches that show when she's on the Stairmaster.
00:35:19.000 Which one?
00:35:20.000 The Kardashian show.
00:35:21.000 And I watch it, and I try to study it like a scientist.
00:35:25.000 Well, it is an essay on what we value in public, but it's who you are.
00:35:31.000 That's what it's for.
00:35:32.000 We used to use the Bible for that.
00:35:34.000 You would look at different characters in the Bible and you go, now that's me.
00:35:38.000 The Kardashians of the Bible.
00:35:39.000 Oh yeah.
00:35:40.000 And you would look at another character in the Kardashians and you go, yo dawg, y'all gonna be a pillar of salt by morning.
00:35:45.000 What I think it does is it locks you into a watching mindset because first of all it's brilliantly edited.
00:35:55.000 They understand the rhythm of your attention span.
00:35:59.000 And they capture the rhythm by constantly changing scenes and constantly changing cameras and going back and forth.
00:36:05.000 And you just get...
00:36:06.000 You get locked into the drone.
00:36:09.000 And you just watch these people live their lives.
00:36:11.000 And very few extraordinary things happen, but many above ordinary things happen.
00:36:17.000 They have very nice things.
00:36:18.000 They have beautiful homes.
00:36:19.000 They're very pretty.
00:36:21.000 But they have petty problems that confuse you.
00:36:24.000 Hold on.
00:36:24.000 So it's a question.
00:36:25.000 Right.
00:36:26.000 You compel a question here, Joe.
00:36:29.000 We hear it's Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
00:36:31.000 There's an element of that.
00:36:34.000 Champagne wishes and caviar dreams.
00:36:38.000 Austin, Texas.
00:36:42.000 The lifestyles of the rich and famous.
00:36:45.000 Okay.
00:36:46.000 So is that going out of style or is that becoming more popular?
00:36:52.000 Is that because, you know, we are a very highly valued culture now.
00:36:57.000 We love to have public, you know, we love to assign ourselves of our values, whether it's social, whether it's political, etc.
00:37:06.000 And the idea of even, you know, it's You make fun of lifestyles of the rich and famous, but I'm gonna wonder if it's even secretly more popular than ever before and just not cool to talk about in public.
00:37:17.000 You mean balling out of control?
00:37:19.000 Well, for example, in the hip-hop world, Bling brings it.
00:37:24.000 Yeah, hip-hop worlds never lost their love of beautiful things.
00:37:29.000 Bingo!
00:37:29.000 And I see that there is China Bling or Asian Bling, I say with respect, that's in Beverly Hills.
00:37:38.000 This is a reality series, and the folks are primarily Chinese, and it is their version.
00:37:44.000 There's a show called Asian Bling?
00:37:46.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:46.000 Do you know about that?
00:37:47.000 Look that up.
00:37:48.000 They're out of Beverly Hills.
00:37:50.000 Is it like Crazy Rich Asians?
00:37:51.000 That kind of vibe?
00:37:51.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:37:52.000 The pivotal character is a billionaire fella.
00:37:56.000 He's a very sympathetic character from Singapore.
00:37:59.000 And everybody there is in Beverly Hills.
00:38:01.000 You'll recognize all the street corners and ice cream store bingo.
00:38:05.000 Bling Empire on Netflix.
00:38:08.000 Okay, follow LA's wildly wealthy Asian and Asian American fun seekers as they go all out with fabulous parties, glamour, and drama.
00:38:18.000 This is like when you guys talk about boxers.
00:38:22.000 You can flip the channel, and it's the same description for every boxer.
00:38:26.000 Scroll back up again?
00:38:27.000 Mexican boxers are fierce and strong and feisty.
00:38:32.000 You know, Italian boxers are a strong and feisty...
00:38:36.000 You know, Joe, South Pacific boxers, they're a strong...
00:38:42.000 I don't follow you.
00:38:43.000 It's the same resume.
00:38:45.000 Same thing?
00:38:46.000 So the Bling Empire is the same, whether it's with rappers, with...
00:38:51.000 It's identical.
00:38:52.000 And if you're lucky enough to move out of the country for a while, you'll start seeing programs.
00:38:58.000 When I was in Japan, you'll see Indonesian reality series, you'll see Korean reality series, and Half the time you're not even aware literally what they're saying, but you can figure it out exactly.
00:39:12.000 And it is a warship of the bling that I think I'm going to wonder if America is just learning to hide it.
00:39:23.000 Or if there's an actual change, what do you think?
00:39:25.000 I think there's an actual change.
00:39:27.000 I think people are less fascinated by materialism now than they have been in the past.
00:39:35.000 I think there's also an oversaturation of wealthy people posing in front of private jets, you know, that kind of shit.
00:39:42.000 I think people are done with that.
00:39:44.000 But not in the rap world!
00:39:45.000 The rap world knows how to ride.
00:39:48.000 They know how to ride.
00:39:49.000 They keep it exactly the same.
00:39:51.000 It's all about blings.
00:39:53.000 It is right out front.
00:39:54.000 Grills.
00:39:55.000 I subscribe to a couple of boat magazines.
00:39:57.000 I don't own a boat.
00:39:58.000 I own a kayak.
00:39:59.000 I subscribe to Wooden Boat, which is all- Wooden Boat Magazine?
00:40:02.000 Yes.
00:40:03.000 Are you thinking about getting a wooden boat or are you just looking at them?
00:40:07.000 Oh, no.
00:40:08.000 I grew up in canoes and kayaks and wooden oars and this kind of a thing.
00:40:14.000 And it's also, you know, the culture of it.
00:40:16.000 It's East Coast, Mystic Seaport and et cetera, et cetera.
00:40:20.000 Dial this one up.
00:40:22.000 I also subscribe to boat, B-O-A-T, and there is nothing in there less than 200 feet deep.
00:40:30.000 200 foot boat?
00:40:31.000 There are boats that are as big as a football field.
00:40:34.000 They're like floating apartment buildings.
00:40:40.000 And if you want to know the latest, for example, in onboard digital...
00:40:46.000 Live the dream.
00:40:47.000 Well, unfortunately, or fortunately...
00:40:51.000 106 meter, 106 meter, 300 fucking boat.
00:40:54.000 Can you imagine?
00:40:55.000 Imagine just...
00:40:56.000 What if you just decided to live in one of them?
00:40:58.000 Like, fuck living in a place.
00:41:00.000 Wait a minute.
00:41:01.000 Can you imagine parking one?
00:41:02.000 Well, you wouldn't park it.
00:41:04.000 You would hire a professional.
00:41:05.000 I want to back one up.
00:41:08.000 Yeah, I know.
00:41:09.000 You would hire a professional.
00:41:11.000 Yeah, you see the tender, the little boat that goes with that is two and a half million dollars.
00:41:15.000 It looks like a shoe.
00:41:16.000 That motherfucker has a helicopter on the top of his boat.
00:41:19.000 That's balling.
00:41:20.000 However, there's another side to this.
00:41:23.000 And I didn't do notes, so I'm kind of sprawling here.
00:41:27.000 For example, the upside...
00:41:28.000 Wait a minute, you don't have notes for any of the things you've said so far?
00:41:30.000 No, I have nothing.
00:41:31.000 That's crazy.
00:41:32.000 I who have nothing.
00:41:33.000 Ray Dalio's son.
00:41:36.000 He's, I guess, in his early 30s, it looks like, somewhere in there.
00:41:40.000 And it's Explorer X. He took a gigantic ship that is now for where Costeau has left off.
00:41:49.000 And with submersible submarines and full editing facilities for film.
00:41:54.000 And it's all about climate change and save the ocean.
00:41:58.000 Oceanexplorer.org, I think it might be.
00:42:01.000 He got his data board.
00:42:03.000 It looks like a billion-dollar ship.
00:42:04.000 It's as big as a football field, and it's all about saving the ocean and traveling, etc.
00:42:13.000 Whoa.
00:42:14.000 There you go.
00:42:16.000 And so this is the upside of...
00:42:19.000 Wait a minute.
00:42:19.000 That thing goes underwater?
00:42:20.000 Oh, no.
00:42:21.000 It contains the thing that goes underwater.
00:42:23.000 But it looks like it goes underwater.
00:42:23.000 You want to do a show from there?
00:42:25.000 You should do a show from there.
00:42:26.000 They have full broadcasting facilities, full editing facilities, full everything.
00:42:31.000 And you can do a submersible.
00:42:34.000 And you can call me on the phone.
00:42:36.000 Should we start doing yacht shows?
00:42:38.000 There you go, Joe.
00:42:40.000 Show him the whole boat.
00:42:43.000 Tell me that doesn't look like mixed martial arts sailing to you.
00:42:46.000 The boat?
00:42:47.000 Yeah.
00:42:48.000 That looks like a lot of work.
00:42:50.000 It goes with the shoes, I'm telling you.
00:42:52.000 It goes with the shoes.
00:42:55.000 Poetry.
00:42:57.000 So that's only for conservation.
00:42:59.000 That entire boat is all for work.
00:43:02.000 And that's what you'll find in a magazine-like boat.
00:43:05.000 Oh, I see.
00:43:07.000 So that's why.
00:43:07.000 Yeah.
00:43:08.000 So Ocean X. Yep.
00:43:10.000 So like SpaceX, but Ocean X. They're going to be the first to find the aliens.
00:43:13.000 That's what I think.
00:43:14.000 I want to be the first front man to get into one of those submersibles.
00:43:19.000 Why don't you become homies with James Cameron?
00:43:21.000 He's on that boat right now, Eddie.
00:43:22.000 Just don't tell him you eat meat.
00:43:24.000 Don't tell him you eat meat and get with him.
00:43:26.000 Where are you at with vegetarian?
00:43:28.000 Are you still eating reindeer?
00:43:30.000 I still eat reindeer.
00:43:31.000 Okay.
00:43:32.000 I don't want to insult Christmas here.
00:43:35.000 I'm more of an elk guy, but I like all wild game.
00:43:38.000 I like healthy animals.
00:43:40.000 I had reindeer, I think it was in Norway or something, and I had a religious moment.
00:43:46.000 It's supposed to be delicious.
00:43:46.000 Like Santa Claus, Catholic, something.
00:43:49.000 The first time I pulled the trigger on a rifle was in Newcastle, Indiana, and I was about six years old.
00:43:55.000 Really?
00:43:55.000 Yeah.
00:43:56.000 As soon as you're old enough to carry it.
00:43:59.000 That's when you start.
00:44:01.000 It was a short-lived career.
00:44:04.000 My pop said, you're the son of a doctor.
00:44:06.000 You don't shoot it.
00:44:08.000 Learn to cook it.
00:44:09.000 So I've taken a few classes.
00:44:11.000 In cooking?
00:44:12.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:13.000 You can go ahead and get it, and I know how to quarter it, and I know how to do camp cooking and so forth.
00:44:19.000 You asked me, where does Laugh to Win stay from?
00:44:23.000 Laugh to Win stay from?
00:44:25.000 Where does Laugh to Win, that's the ethic here.
00:44:27.000 How do you stay?
00:44:29.000 Right, right, right.
00:44:30.000 How do you stay hungry?
00:44:32.000 Where does laugh to win stay from?
00:44:34.000 Not come from.
00:44:35.000 It comes from go and try something new.
00:44:38.000 It doesn't have to be epic.
00:44:41.000 For me, it's always been education because I've become friends with my teachers and my instructors and my mentors.
00:44:46.000 Right, like your kendo training and all that.
00:44:49.000 Because from there, you're going to be hungry.
00:44:52.000 It's one of my favorite stories.
00:44:53.000 When you move to Japan just to learn kendo, I'm like, that's a bad motherfucker.
00:44:56.000 Just decides to go to Japan, brings his dog, learns kendo, and takes kendo four nights a week.
00:45:02.000 My dog was the best icebreaker ever.
00:45:05.000 He was a full Australian with a raccoon tail.
00:45:13.000 So you never see a 50-pound dog in Japan or whatever.
00:45:17.000 You don't?
00:45:17.000 No, you see little pocket rockets.
00:45:19.000 You got little ankle biters, lots and lots of those.
00:45:23.000 But this looked like a wolf.
00:45:26.000 People would ask me, is that a wolf?
00:45:28.000 And I would answer, no, I am.
00:45:31.000 Russ!
00:45:34.000 And Russ got along with everybody.
00:45:36.000 How long did you live in Japan for?
00:45:37.000 Two years.
00:45:38.000 I based out of there.
00:45:39.000 I took my dog and my guitar.
00:45:41.000 I did not know a single word of Japanese.
00:45:44.000 You just went out there.
00:45:44.000 You didn't know anybody or anything, right?
00:45:46.000 No.
00:45:46.000 I didn't know where I was going to go.
00:45:48.000 And you know where I wound up?
00:45:49.000 In the Oakwood Garden Apartments.
00:45:53.000 Ah, they have Oakwoods in Japan?
00:45:55.000 Are you joking?
00:45:56.000 Yes!
00:45:57.000 Exactly like the first tour with Van Halen, right, over on Barham.
00:46:01.000 Want some coffee?
00:46:02.000 Please.
00:46:03.000 And from there, my first day traveling through the lobby, this fella's sitting there and I'm not out of line to say, Joe, great to see you again.
00:46:17.000 Great to see you, sir.
00:46:17.000 Thanks for calling.
00:46:18.000 My pleasure.
00:46:19.000 I'm very excited when you decide to come here.
00:46:23.000 Last time I saw you, we had dinner together in Vegas.
00:46:25.000 For people who don't know, David Lee Roth doesn't have a phone.
00:46:28.000 He has a handler.
00:46:29.000 You have to contact the handler.
00:46:30.000 The handler will arrange, pick up and drop off of Mr. Roth.
00:46:34.000 If there's any problems, you are to contact the handler and the handler will take care of everything.
00:46:39.000 Mr. Roth has no email.
00:46:40.000 How many rock stars does it take to put in a light bulb?
00:46:43.000 One, I hold the bulb and expect the world to revolve around me.
00:46:48.000 Rock stars don't wear a wristwatch, Joe.
00:46:50.000 We have somebody way smarter than us go, 10 minutes, Mr. Raw.
00:46:55.000 Rappers wear some dope wristwatch, though.
00:46:58.000 Rappers know how to fucking rock a watch.
00:47:00.000 Hello.
00:47:01.000 Yeah.
00:47:01.000 So I'm walking through the lobby in Japan, and I'm not out of line to say there is a huge person sitting in a very special chair that was not in that lobby when I left.
00:47:14.000 So they brought their own chair?
00:47:15.000 Yeah.
00:47:15.000 They have a special chair for him.
00:47:17.000 Oh.
00:47:18.000 And this was the most famous, arguably most famous, sumotori, rikishi wrestler in the history of sumo, who happens to also be Hawaiian.
00:47:28.000 Oh.
00:47:28.000 This was Konishiki.
00:47:30.000 Oh, I know who that guy is.
00:47:31.000 He's enormous.
00:47:32.000 Konishiki.
00:47:33.000 You pronounce it Konishiki.
00:47:35.000 Konishiki.
00:47:36.000 He was the man, right?
00:47:38.000 Huh?
00:47:38.000 He was the man.
00:47:39.000 Oh, big.
00:47:40.000 He won 27 national tournaments in a row and caused quite a calamity.
00:47:44.000 Jesus Christ, look at that picture.
00:47:46.000 Oh my God, he's huge.
00:47:47.000 As I walk through, he stops me, and he puts his hand up, and he's got two handlers.
00:47:54.000 Can you see me if I stand up?
00:47:55.000 Do you have a camera that'll hit me up if I stand up like this?
00:48:01.000 I'm on the camera here.
00:48:02.000 He's got two handlers in white jumpsuits who do like this.
00:48:05.000 They're not looking.
00:48:06.000 They're in abeyance.
00:48:08.000 They're just constantly bowing?
00:48:10.000 Oh, yeah.
00:48:10.000 Because he can't get up.
00:48:13.000 He's, at that point, was about 350 pounds.
00:48:15.000 That's it?
00:48:16.000 So getting up there.
00:48:17.000 He looks a lot bigger than that.
00:48:18.000 Whoa, no, his fighting weight was 600 pounds.
00:48:21.000 Oh, okay.
00:48:21.000 So he dropped some weight.
00:48:23.000 Oh, yeah.
00:48:23.000 And he was retired when I met him.
00:48:26.000 650 pounds?
00:48:28.000 600 pounds.
00:48:28.000 600. Yes.
00:48:29.000 I asked him once, what was it like trying to fight you?
00:48:32.000 You want me to do it with the Hawaiian accent?
00:48:34.000 Sure.
00:48:35.000 Bro.
00:48:36.000 It was like they were trying to fight a mattress.
00:48:42.000 He was the sweetest, coolest, calmest guy.
00:48:46.000 And he said, I'll be your senpai.
00:48:49.000 You're going to need a guide here, bro.
00:48:52.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:48:53.000 And right away, you're going to need a veterinarian.
00:48:55.000 Right?
00:48:56.000 Right away, you're going to need a doctor for the shoulder, my other shoulder, not the one you have.
00:49:02.000 You got a shoulder issue?
00:49:03.000 Right in LA. You're doing kendo and you're doing jiu-jitsu.
00:49:08.000 You're going to need a dentist.
00:49:09.000 And he was right.
00:49:14.000 I'll be your guide and stuff.
00:49:15.000 He took me to the sumo tournaments.
00:49:18.000 Wow.
00:49:18.000 And he was like national hero.
00:49:20.000 That was like Springsteen showing up at a bar in Jersey.
00:49:23.000 Wow.
00:49:24.000 Talk about parting of the ways.
00:49:26.000 And we got, I don't know, I'll say it, coarse because it's funny sounding.
00:49:32.000 I don't know how many white boys have ever sat in a sumo barracks at the table with all the trainees.
00:49:39.000 Wow, what an honor.
00:49:41.000 That just clearly is not done.
00:49:44.000 Yeah.
00:49:46.000 Coming from an arts background as artist and martial arts.
00:49:51.000 Right.
00:49:51.000 I'm a lifer.
00:49:52.000 You can tell.
00:49:54.000 But you trained under Benny Arquitos, right?
00:49:56.000 Yeah, you bet.
00:49:57.000 Benny the Jet.
00:49:58.000 My first real, real time learning the armbar was in...
00:50:03.000 I remember...
00:50:06.000 1983. Wow!
00:50:08.000 On the floor of the Judd Center.
00:50:10.000 Really?
00:50:11.000 Yeah, I remember.
00:50:11.000 They were doing arm bars.
00:50:12.000 Look at that!
00:50:13.000 Look at this!
00:50:14.000 You and him, man.
00:50:15.000 That's amazing.
00:50:15.000 And we are at these sumo tournaments right now.
00:50:18.000 When was the year?
00:50:20.000 2013. Wow.
00:50:21.000 And that is the same building where we play rock and roll, but they take out All of the chairs and so forth.
00:50:28.000 And he is a national champion, all right?
00:50:31.000 It's like an ex-president.
00:50:33.000 This is awesome.
00:50:34.000 And we started talking, etc.
00:50:35.000 And he's the one who explained to me virtually everything that you see here.
00:50:39.000 These guys are doing judo with each other and using the impact.
00:50:43.000 It's like taking the frontline guys, your defensive tackle versus defensive tackle.
00:50:49.000 That guy on the left is, sorry to interrupt, but that guy on the left is a European.
00:50:53.000 That's right.
00:50:54.000 Look at the size of that motherfucker.
00:50:56.000 Jesus Christ.
00:50:56.000 Don't think of it as a belt.
00:50:58.000 That's a handle.
00:50:59.000 That is there that if one of those guys, watch, they're going to try and grab that handle because if he can get hold of it, you could throw his ass out of that circle.
00:51:07.000 That's what they're trying to deflect there.
00:51:09.000 One of those 400-pounders gets hold of that belt.
00:51:12.000 See it?
00:51:13.000 See it?
00:51:13.000 Oh, beautiful.
00:51:15.000 If he grabs that belt, you're done.
00:51:18.000 And there are famous guys who had the left hand grab.
00:51:22.000 See, the guy on the left does not look like a regular sumo guy.
00:51:26.000 He looks like a fucking gorilla.
00:51:27.000 He's a tank.
00:51:28.000 They all come in.
00:51:30.000 Back up to where that guy was?
00:51:34.000 That guy looks like a wrestler-wrestler.
00:51:37.000 Okay, Joe.
00:51:38.000 Doesn't he?
00:51:38.000 Joe, let's call the fight together.
00:51:40.000 You're looking at big barrel bombs on the right.
00:51:43.000 You're talking about the kind of face-changing knuckle-to-knuckle impact on the right.
00:51:48.000 Yeah, the guy on the right looks like...
00:51:50.000 The one on the left moves like a mosquito on the water.
00:51:53.000 He pivots.
00:51:54.000 He's going to use judo maneuvers.
00:51:56.000 He's twice as fast.
00:51:57.000 He's three times as quick on his feet.
00:51:59.000 He's sprawling.
00:52:00.000 You know what the sprawl is, Joe?
00:52:02.000 And the big boy is stymied.
00:52:04.000 He has stalled.
00:52:05.000 He gets close there at the edge.
00:52:05.000 Look how fast he's moving.
00:52:07.000 See ya!
00:52:08.000 See ya!
00:52:08.000 I'll see you in three endorsements.
00:52:12.000 I always wondered, like, why they have...
00:52:14.000 See how that's working?
00:52:15.000 I do.
00:52:15.000 Okay, now they're allowed to smack each other in the face.
00:52:18.000 Oh, they are?
00:52:19.000 With the full hand.
00:52:20.000 Really?
00:52:20.000 Okay, oh yeah.
00:52:21.000 Like a strike?
00:52:22.000 Yep, a strike into the throat.
00:52:24.000 They can punch, smack your ears, and they'll spend hundreds of hours working the pole.
00:52:31.000 Just smack him?
00:52:32.000 Really?
00:52:32.000 Like this.
00:52:33.000 As long as it's not closed fist.
00:52:35.000 So some guys are going to work your face.
00:52:37.000 Others are going to take it in the face in order to grab that belt.
00:52:40.000 See how he's trying to grab that belt?
00:52:42.000 As soon as he grabs that leverage, you can throw him out like an oil can.
00:52:46.000 And this is a very old sport, right?
00:52:48.000 Like how long has...
00:52:49.000 2,000 years.
00:52:50.000 Oh my God.
00:52:51.000 This is rich guys going, I have the biggest, baddest front man in the infantry.
00:52:56.000 Oh, that's what it is.
00:52:57.000 And you're going, no, no, no, no.
00:52:58.000 You see my bodyguard out there?
00:53:00.000 He was a cavalry guy until he was too heavy for the horse.
00:53:04.000 I'll go, well, let's see.
00:53:07.000 We'll have a banquet, Joe.
00:53:10.000 And it's always been this way with a raised platform and a circle that they have to get out of?
00:53:14.000 You bet.
00:53:14.000 Just a big mound of dirt, okay?
00:53:16.000 And the ceremony is the big deal.
00:53:19.000 It's all that the actual happens in four seconds.
00:53:22.000 So it's all about the prep.
00:53:25.000 Now, did you go to anything else over there?
00:53:26.000 Did you go to karate tournaments or anything?
00:53:28.000 I went to kendo tournaments.
00:53:30.000 I saw a Japanese jiu-jitsu class, okay?
00:53:35.000 Which is very different than Brazilian jiu-jitsu class.
00:53:37.000 I've taken Brazilian jiu-jitsu class.
00:53:40.000 What's the big difference?
00:53:42.000 Well...
00:53:42.000 It's more stand-up, right?
00:53:44.000 Well, no.
00:53:45.000 It's conducted a lot more like...
00:53:47.000 It's what we call shugyo, austere training, manners.
00:53:53.000 A lot more of the character.
00:53:55.000 A lot more of the dignity.
00:53:56.000 There's the bowing.
00:53:57.000 Everybody is kneeling in order the way you might in a taekwondo class.
00:54:02.000 As opposed to when I did some...
00:54:06.000 I trained briefly with Matt Serra, for example, or the Silvera brothers down in Florida.
00:54:11.000 Where'd you train with Matt?
00:54:12.000 New York.
00:54:13.000 No shit.
00:54:13.000 You went off to Long Island or Henzo's?
00:54:15.000 Uh, Hensos.
00:54:17.000 Okay, I was there when he got his black belt.
00:54:19.000 Matt, how are you?
00:54:20.000 Really?
00:54:20.000 Yeah, the day he came in, I said, hey, what happened to your eyes?
00:54:23.000 I got my black belt last night.
00:54:25.000 Wow.
00:54:26.000 Like this, a million years ago.
00:54:28.000 We were young, nothing would have stopped us anyway.
00:54:30.000 Wow.
00:54:31.000 And that's a much more informal and a very street, okay?
00:54:38.000 It's very practical.
00:54:39.000 So we would sit around the edges of the room and take turns, etc., as opposed to a traditional Taekwondo or karate class where it's...
00:54:48.000 And everybody is at attention, etc.
00:54:51.000 I find both of great value, okay?
00:54:56.000 You don't want to teach deadly maneuvers if somebody doesn't have a little bit of character, a little bit of self-control.
00:55:03.000 You follow?
00:55:03.000 Yeah.
00:55:03.000 And you're going to need that self-control, again, to get through the tough times.
00:55:07.000 I really don't feel like training today.
00:55:10.000 First time I ever walked into a karate class was on my birthday in 1966. And I asked him, Ed Parker.
00:55:16.000 You trained with Ed Parker?
00:55:18.000 Oh yeah.
00:55:19.000 Wow.
00:55:19.000 For years.
00:55:20.000 Did you see Elvis when he was there?
00:55:24.000 No.
00:55:24.000 Almost.
00:55:25.000 No, no.
00:55:25.000 It was at that time period.
00:55:27.000 That's around that time, yeah.
00:55:28.000 And Ed used to come to the shows or whatever.
00:55:32.000 Ed Parker came to see Van Halen?
00:55:34.000 Oh, many times.
00:55:35.000 And you know who he brought many times who became a teacher of my now departed father was Judo Gene LaBelle.
00:55:41.000 Oh, I love Gene.
00:55:42.000 Judo Gene is part of the laugh-to-win ethic.
00:55:45.000 I've had Gene on the podcast.
00:55:45.000 My spirit of how do you stay true to your school, Joe, is part Judo Gene.
00:55:51.000 It comes from my father.
00:55:53.000 It comes from that whole spirit.
00:55:56.000 And if you apply that...
00:55:59.000 You want to try new things.
00:56:02.000 Whatever it is, here you are in a new city.
00:56:05.000 That's how you stay young and skinny and invisible.
00:56:08.000 You know, other people go, oh no, our parents are here.
00:56:12.000 No, you know, I'm an Ohioan infantry for life.
00:56:16.000 Well, my body is a temple, but let's rent it out for parties tonight.
00:56:22.000 And also, in school, you're not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose.
00:56:27.000 So you have no reputation.
00:56:29.000 You have no money.
00:56:31.000 You probably don't mean anything to anybody, at least in music school or the very first steps when you're in the clubs or whatever.
00:56:39.000 So you'll try new things.
00:56:40.000 Hey, let's go try surfing.
00:56:42.000 You want to try surfing?
00:56:43.000 Might kill you.
00:56:44.000 Oh, that's attractive.
00:56:44.000 Let's go.
00:56:46.000 Look at you.
00:56:48.000 Look at you back then.
00:56:49.000 There you go.
00:56:51.000 Wow.
00:56:51.000 And that's one of my teachers over on the left.
00:56:54.000 That's Frank Trejo.
00:56:55.000 Okay.
00:56:56.000 Like this.
00:56:58.000 And over on the right?
00:57:02.000 Ed Parker Jr. Yeah.
00:57:04.000 There you go.
00:57:05.000 So that's Ed Parker's son?
00:57:06.000 Yes.
00:57:06.000 And Charles Gonzalez.
00:57:07.000 That was when my dad got his black belt.
00:57:10.000 Look at you, you fucking young handsome bastard with a vest on.
00:57:12.000 Let me see that picture.
00:57:13.000 My dad got his black belt when he was 66 years old, something like that, 60 years old.
00:57:19.000 Wow.
00:57:19.000 All of his brothers and everybody showed up and they thought we were visiting instructor.
00:57:25.000 How do you keep from blowing your joints out at that age?
00:57:31.000 I've had seven surgeries.
00:57:33.000 I've blown them all out.
00:57:35.000 What kind of surgeries have you had?
00:57:37.000 Thanks to Pamela for reminding me.
00:57:41.000 Fax me an Advil.
00:57:42.000 What are you, kid?
00:57:43.000 What surgeries have you had?
00:57:45.000 Oh, back.
00:57:46.000 Come on, shoulder, etc.
00:57:48.000 What'd you have done to your back?
00:57:50.000 Oh, three in the back, you know, the, uh, scooped out and I had the, uh, the big bitch recently.
00:57:57.000 Six hours on the spit.
00:58:01.000 They put the cage around your spine?
00:58:03.000 Yeah.
00:58:03.000 Oh no.
00:58:04.000 Finally get it all.
00:58:05.000 But, uh, like I said, I've been bouncing around.
00:58:07.000 What was going on with it?
00:58:09.000 I'll just wear and tear.
00:58:10.000 I wore out my brake pads and tore it up.
00:58:13.000 I've been bouncing around hard since I was a teenager.
00:58:16.000 I mean, under instructor-level stuff.
00:58:21.000 How recently under the knife did you get your back done?
00:58:26.000 Most recently, about four years ago.
00:58:29.000 After the last Van Halen tour.
00:58:31.000 So you were having like bulging discs or sciatic pain or that kind of shit?
00:58:35.000 You bet.
00:58:36.000 And that is a constant.
00:58:38.000 How are you going to get through that kind of, you know, when we talk, what is laugh to win?
00:58:42.000 That'll test your shit.
00:58:44.000 And I'll tell you how.
00:58:45.000 How?
00:58:46.000 You share, you learn to laugh at your misery.
00:58:49.000 You learn to laugh at your pain.
00:58:50.000 You learn to, hold on, I'm going to explain this, how to do that.
00:58:53.000 Please.
00:58:55.000 First two, three surgeries, you're going to have an Indiana pit crew with you.
00:58:59.000 Indiana pit crew?
00:59:00.000 Yeah, like in Indiana.
00:59:01.000 There's going to be 15 people with you.
00:59:03.000 Okay.
00:59:04.000 Your wife's going to be there, your daughters, handler, bodyguard, manager.
00:59:09.000 For your first two surgeries?
00:59:11.000 First two surgeries.
00:59:12.000 First two?
00:59:13.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:14.000 And then the third one.
00:59:15.000 They get tired of going?
00:59:16.000 Ah, honey, you know the grandparents.
00:59:18.000 They're old.
00:59:18.000 They'd love to be here, but it is a drive.
00:59:22.000 Your fourth, fifth surgery, maybe one person goes with you, but mostly they send a car and you go your own.
00:59:29.000 And this is actual, I'm going to describe to this.
00:59:33.000 I was sitting at the five o'clock in a morning club getting ready this last time.
00:59:39.000 And you got to get there at five.
00:59:41.000 And right across from me is a little cancer kid.
00:59:45.000 You can tell because he's got the tube and whatever.
00:59:48.000 He's got the hat on.
00:59:49.000 He looks at me about nine years old.
00:59:51.000 And you can tell that he's had more than a couple because he's only got his mom with him now.
00:59:59.000 That's very unusual.
01:00:00.000 It means he's been here more than once or twice.
01:00:02.000 It's just the way of things.
01:00:05.000 And we have a look.
01:00:07.000 And I remember looking at him.
01:00:09.000 And I know how to ask these questions.
01:00:12.000 I looked at the door and I went like that.
01:00:15.000 It means how many for you?
01:00:17.000 And he held up four fingers like this.
01:00:21.000 He goes, like this.
01:00:23.000 And he looks at me and he goes, looks at the door.
01:00:28.000 I looked around conspiratorially.
01:00:33.000 Seven.
01:00:34.000 And you could see him do the math.
01:00:37.000 And break into a big fucking smile!
01:00:41.000 And look at his mom like, shit!
01:00:45.000 I still got something in front of me.
01:00:47.000 You share it.
01:00:49.000 Do you understand?
01:00:50.000 You make fun of your own misery and your own pain.
01:00:54.000 And you can share it and get somebody else up that mountain.
01:00:57.000 Okay?
01:00:59.000 I've gotten to that space in my life.
01:01:02.000 How's your back now?
01:01:04.000 Fucked.
01:01:05.000 Thanks a diaper load for reminding me.
01:01:07.000 Did the surgery help at all?
01:01:09.000 I am a miracle of the Watkins team.
01:01:11.000 The Watkins team?
01:01:12.000 The Watkins team is the best spinal surgeons ever, ever, ever.
01:01:18.000 Their me wall is the biggest you can ever imagine.
01:01:22.000 You know what a me wall is?
01:01:24.000 No.
01:01:24.000 Here's me with the mayor.
01:01:25.000 Here's me with Joe Wogan.
01:01:29.000 We should get a me wall here.
01:01:33.000 Here's me with Joe.
01:01:36.000 Like this, their me wall contains virtually everyone from the Cirque du Soleil, every action hero you can possibly imagine without naming names, It's always back, right?
01:01:50.000 Yeah, every sports hero, every pitcher, every golfer, every rock and roller who carries a guitar around with them, etc.
01:02:00.000 And I'm up there three times, three or four times as well.
01:02:04.000 So I'm moving and grooving.
01:02:07.000 I'm feeling better than ever.
01:02:09.000 Oh, yeah.
01:02:09.000 And what did they do exactly?
01:02:10.000 Exactly.
01:02:11.000 I had to have a fusion, you know, where you're going to put a little bit of wedge in.
01:02:17.000 Why, do I seem taller, Joe?
01:02:18.000 No.
01:02:19.000 Did they use artificial disks?
01:02:22.000 I have a little bit of a wedge in there, which means I'm now up.
01:02:27.000 First two surgeries made me a little smaller.
01:02:30.000 I was like 5'11", then I was 5'10 1⁄2", then I was 5'10", and now I'm up another quarter inch.
01:02:37.000 My friend got a titanium articulating disc in his lower back, and he gained an inch.
01:02:43.000 Yeah.
01:02:44.000 But he was fucked for a long time.
01:02:45.000 He was bone on bone for years and years and years, just constantly in a state of inflammation.
01:02:50.000 Yes.
01:02:50.000 And there's a point where all of your yoga and all of the Pilates and so forth won't account for it more.
01:02:58.000 But you're going to play for pain.
01:03:00.000 The injury rate in rock and roll is just like in gymnastics.
01:03:03.000 It's 100%.
01:03:04.000 Yeah.
01:03:06.000 NFL, you know what that stands for?
01:03:07.000 Not for long.
01:03:10.000 The injury rate is 100%.
01:03:12.000 What's the injury rate in stand-up?
01:03:16.000 100%.
01:03:17.000 Not really.
01:03:18.000 Not in stand-up.
01:03:19.000 No.
01:03:21.000 It's extracurricular activities.
01:03:22.000 Oh, everybody ends up on their feet, right?
01:03:24.000 Well, it's extracurricular activities to get you.
01:03:26.000 It's not the stand-up itself.
01:03:27.000 Like rock and roll, especially you.
01:03:30.000 I mean, you were throwing high kicks and spinning kicks and dancing around and jumping.
01:03:35.000 You were very physically active.
01:03:37.000 It's transportation and water and feeding.
01:03:40.000 You know where the best place to go is Vegas.
01:03:42.000 Vegas.
01:03:43.000 Vegas.
01:03:43.000 You can stabilize everything.
01:03:46.000 Not unusual for us to get on the bus and say, the bus driver leans out and goes, 10 miles to Houston, Dave.
01:03:54.000 No, 10 hours.
01:03:56.000 10 hours to Houston, Dave.
01:03:58.000 12 hours to Lubbock, Dave.
01:04:01.000 14 hours to Iowa.
01:04:03.000 That's how long your bus ride is after the show.
01:04:05.000 And it's dusboot.
01:04:08.000 Even though you are slightly sleeping, You're doing this.
01:04:12.000 You're rocking and rolling the whole time.
01:04:13.000 So how does Vegas stabilize you?
01:04:15.000 Because you stay there longer?
01:04:16.000 Well, you're in a specific place.
01:04:19.000 You're like Seabiscuit.
01:04:20.000 So you would be like a residency?
01:04:22.000 You've got a special stall with your special food, with your special whatever you follow, and everybody's rested.
01:04:28.000 And that's where you're going to see the best shows, whether it's me or the Eagles.
01:04:32.000 I don't care if it's Garth Brooks or Aerosmith.
01:04:37.000 You will see us at our best.
01:04:40.000 Because, just like an athlete, like when you're calling the fights, they're better when they're rested.
01:04:46.000 Hey, get in country three weeks in advance.
01:04:50.000 Jet lag may have been what kicked Tyson's ass in Japan.
01:04:53.000 What did he get there, two weeks in advance?
01:04:55.000 Not enough!
01:04:57.000 Not enough!
01:04:58.000 I think it was Buster Douglas, and I think it was also partying.
01:05:01.000 If you ask him.
01:05:03.000 Well, these are allegations.
01:05:06.000 But the first thing I would say, if you said, Dave, you're coach for a day, I'd go, you're fighting in Japan, get there three months in advance.
01:05:13.000 Three months?
01:05:14.000 Oh yeah.
01:05:15.000 You want that jet log off, you want your body used to the agua, the water, you want your body used to the humidity, the temperature, because it's all different.
01:05:25.000 This is a monsoon archipelago, and it's exotic here as it sounds.
01:05:31.000 Enjoy your sushi.
01:05:36.000 So what'd they do to your back again?
01:05:38.000 They fused disc, they put wedges.
01:05:42.000 Yeah, I'm worried.
01:05:43.000 I'm worried about the future.
01:05:45.000 Of course.
01:05:46.000 I'm worried about surgeries.
01:05:48.000 Of course.
01:05:48.000 Back surgeries are tricky.
01:05:49.000 That's why I'm asking.
01:05:50.000 They are.
01:05:51.000 But right off the bat, you hear this is an ironic story, is Dr. Watkins Sr., A bit older than me.
01:06:03.000 Is world famous.
01:06:04.000 They lecture, they travel, they teach, etc.
01:06:07.000 His son was about 14 years old.
01:06:12.000 And collected half a dozen of his friends, Dr. Senior, put them in the back of a pickup truck in the days when you could just sit in the back, and drove them to the Us Festival to watch the mighty Van Halen perform in front of 350,000 people back in 1983. 350,000 people?
01:06:31.000 Close friends, family, primarily.
01:06:34.000 350,000 people.
01:06:37.000 And that kid, when he was about 14, 15 years old, He is now fully grown up in his father's...
01:06:45.000 He's a spinal surgeon.
01:06:48.000 And the two of them are the ones who put me back together after the last Van Halen tour.
01:06:54.000 And so, you said there's a wedge, but there's a cage, too?
01:06:58.000 Yeah, but...
01:06:59.000 Do they have one of those things around the spine?
01:07:03.000 Yeah, well, I imagine that, you know what, you're going to be better to look this up academically, okay?
01:07:09.000 But as I understand it, there is a wedge that goes in there, and then there are screws that will hold it in place.
01:07:16.000 And does everything move okay?
01:07:18.000 Like, do you have, like, full movement of your spine?
01:07:21.000 Yeah, you're looking good.
01:07:22.000 Hell yeah.
01:07:23.000 Watch.
01:07:24.000 No pain, no problems.
01:07:25.000 I'm going to hold a Sharpie between my butt cheeks and I'm going to write you a Christmas greeting.
01:07:32.000 Oh my goodness.
01:07:38.000 Put a little star next to it.
01:07:42.000 Yeah, I'm moving and grooving and whatever.
01:07:47.000 I'm very lucky.
01:07:48.000 But it is a result also of, I don't go for 10 minutes without thinking about it regularly.
01:07:54.000 At any given time, that is my musical instrument.
01:07:58.000 You sing from the toes the same way you throw a punch.
01:08:01.000 You sing from here.
01:08:03.000 You're still super active on stage, even now.
01:08:05.000 You move around.
01:08:06.000 You're not sitting still.
01:08:08.000 Remember when Axl Rose broke his foot and he was singing from a chair?
01:08:12.000 I'm not sure how you would even do that in terms of just the singing.
01:08:17.000 He was doing Sweet Child of Mine from a chair with the rock...
01:08:21.000 You ever see it?
01:08:22.000 I have not.
01:08:23.000 I've seen photos of it.
01:08:24.000 Yeah, he had a cast on his foot and he was sitting in a chair singing.
01:08:29.000 And how did it sound?
01:08:30.000 It was pretty fucking good.
01:08:31.000 I mean, it's still Axl Rose, it's still Guns N' Roses, he's still, you know, he's still doing the thing.
01:08:36.000 Okay.
01:08:36.000 He just had a broken foot.
01:08:37.000 Okay, well, see, I wouldn't have recommended the chair because he's not that terribly active anyway.
01:08:42.000 Yeah, he does the shape and the shimmy, but he's not like Mick.
01:08:45.000 Right.
01:08:45.000 Going from 50-yard line to 50-yard line.
01:08:48.000 Well, he's a guy I'd love to talk to about how active he is because he's in incredible shape.
01:08:52.000 As I know it to be, he is a jogger, a runner.
01:08:55.000 He is routinely around the reservoir.
01:08:58.000 Is he still running, really?
01:09:00.000 Oh, sure.
01:09:02.000 And that's how you're going to maintain that kind of cardio.
01:09:05.000 Well, he does a lot of things, though.
01:09:06.000 He does, like, dance.
01:09:07.000 He does a lot of yoga.
01:09:08.000 He does a lot.
01:09:09.000 Like, Google it, because there was an article that showed his body at whatever he is now, 70, whatever he is.
01:09:16.000 I can tell you what he's doing.
01:09:18.000 There's no magic to it.
01:09:19.000 Three hours a day, six days a week.
01:09:21.000 Mick also performs ballet, weight training, Pilates, jogging, and dynamic stretching, ensuring he maintains maximum flexibility.
01:09:29.000 But look at him throwing kicks and shit.
01:09:31.000 Look at that.
01:09:33.000 At 75, post-heart surgery, wow, so that was two years ago, so he's 77. But see if you can find an image of his body, because there's a photo of him shirtless that was pretty recent.
01:09:47.000 He's fucking shredded.
01:09:50.000 As I know it to be.
01:09:51.000 Show that, because this is- It's primarily that jagging, huh?
01:09:54.000 Look at this.
01:09:55.000 This is 75 years old, dancing around.
01:10:02.000 There but for the grace of God goes us, if he can climb that, then we can too.
01:10:07.000 Yeah, I mean, it's incredible that he's been able to maintain like this.
01:10:10.000 You know what I think, Joe?
01:10:11.000 I think there are artists.
01:10:13.000 I happen to love the Stones.
01:10:15.000 Love them.
01:10:15.000 If you said tomorrow, they're down the street, stay over, Dave, let's go, I would.
01:10:19.000 Okay?
01:10:20.000 Without a blink.
01:10:21.000 Yeah.
01:10:22.000 If you said that about Sting, I love Sting.
01:10:27.000 But I don't know if I would stay the extra night.
01:10:31.000 I don't know.
01:10:33.000 Okay.
01:10:34.000 But it's very important to me that Sting stay in great shape and that he continue to make records regularly.
01:10:41.000 I have to know that.
01:10:43.000 He's all about yoga.
01:10:44.000 Frankly, same thing for Springsteen, who I love.
01:10:48.000 He is like a hero.
01:10:49.000 You can't beat the woods.
01:10:52.000 Have I heard the new record?
01:10:53.000 No.
01:10:55.000 Am I planning to?
01:10:56.000 No.
01:10:57.000 But it's very important to me that he and the E Street Band make that goddamn record.
01:11:03.000 And if you say to him, Dave, you have to pay for a price of a ticket even if you don't go here.
01:11:08.000 That quick?
01:11:09.000 I have to know that like the church, he's there day after tomorrow because that means I might be too.
01:11:15.000 And that means in my quest, in my search, that I might climb a mountain just as high as he's climbing at his age.
01:11:23.000 And when you say, Mick, same thing.
01:11:26.000 That's the Mick Jagger thing.
01:11:27.000 If you could do that at 75 years old, post-heart surgery.
01:11:30.000 Maybe I can do what I do at 75. Says an entire generation or two or three.
01:11:37.000 And that's a part that we occupy here.
01:11:39.000 That's part of where we are.
01:11:42.000 Now, here, if you just pulled your plug at making your fortune, I made mine decades ago.
01:11:51.000 But what you represent, that's why classic rock, for example, is more popular than it ever was before, because of the longevity of it.
01:12:02.000 Well, classic rock has a feel to it.
01:12:06.000 You know, like Allman Brothers, like classic Allman Brothers.
01:12:09.000 There's a feel to it.
01:12:11.000 It's like you feel the time in which it was created.
01:12:14.000 It comes through in the music.
01:12:16.000 That's what I like about it the most.
01:12:17.000 Does it remind you of your past?
01:12:19.000 Does it remind you of who you were?
01:12:21.000 No, not really.
01:12:22.000 I think more about them.
01:12:24.000 Like, if I'm listening to classic Hendrix, I just think about what it must have been like for him to be Jimi Hendrix in 67. See, some people always say, yeah, the music reminds me of when I was young, and I think like you do.
01:12:36.000 No, I think about Jimi.
01:12:37.000 Yeah, I think about Jimi.
01:12:38.000 I think about what the guy looked like who's singing it.
01:12:40.000 I was listening to Layla last night.
01:12:42.000 I haven't listened to that song.
01:12:43.000 And you're thinking of Eric playing it.
01:12:45.000 You're not imagining anybody named Layla, right?
01:12:48.000 The same thing with a tattoo.
01:12:50.000 We always tell the viewer, no, this represents my grandpa who used to drink martinis.
01:12:57.000 But in fact, when I look at my tattoo, I think of the guy who gave it to me and where it was.
01:13:05.000 So I've gone out of my way to make sure I'm somewhere very cool and representative when I get that tattoo.
01:13:12.000 You know I'm covered.
01:13:14.000 I got the full Japanese tuxedo here.
01:13:17.000 No one's ever seen that though, right?
01:13:18.000 You don't have photos of it anywhere, do you?
01:13:21.000 Allegedly.
01:13:22.000 But I mean, it's not out there online or anything like that.
01:13:25.000 You had the tap tap done, right?
01:13:27.000 Yeah.
01:13:27.000 You had it old school style.
01:13:29.000 It took me three years to get it all the way.
01:13:32.000 But I made very sure.
01:13:35.000 Because when you look at your tattoo, for all of you who are just pondering, remember that you're going to think of where you got it and who put it on you and what the music was that you heard and then who you were at the time.
01:13:50.000 So I went out of my way and I made sure I went to Yokohama and had Sting do it, so to speak.
01:14:00.000 Hot Dozo on the high desert.
01:14:01.000 No, I had Horiyoshi 3rd doing this.
01:14:04.000 Can you show us some of it?
01:14:05.000 It's like this.
01:14:06.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:14:07.000 I don't know.
01:14:08.000 Show us some of it.
01:14:08.000 I want to see some of that.
01:14:09.000 Is this the right place?
01:14:10.000 Yeah, fuck yeah.
01:14:10.000 Let me see.
01:14:11.000 It's absolutely the right place.
01:14:13.000 It's very hot in Texas.
01:14:15.000 I'm sorry?
01:14:16.000 It's very hot in Texas, and you have a jumpsuit and a sweatshirt underneath it.
01:14:20.000 Oh, wow.
01:14:21.000 That's beautiful.
01:14:22.000 Wow, that's nice.
01:14:25.000 Pull that shirt off.
01:14:27.000 Show us the whole fucking thing.
01:14:30.000 Whoa!
01:14:31.000 Dude!
01:14:32.000 That's wild!
01:14:35.000 Oh my god, that's incredible.
01:14:36.000 And that was all done tap style?
01:14:38.000 Almost all of it.
01:14:39.000 Wow!
01:14:40.000 Let me see the back again.
01:14:41.000 That's crazy!
01:14:44.000 Where's the head of the dragon?
01:14:45.000 Right in the middle.
01:14:46.000 Oh shit!
01:14:47.000 There it is.
01:14:48.000 Wow!
01:14:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:14:50.000 Totally.
01:14:50.000 It's just there's so much going on.
01:14:52.000 It's hard to like...
01:14:53.000 That's amazing work.
01:14:55.000 Amazing work.
01:14:57.000 So one guy did all that?
01:14:59.000 Oh, we had one guy do the back and one guy do all the front.
01:15:03.000 Wow.
01:15:04.000 It's all done in Japan.
01:15:05.000 Is the tap-tap style more painful?
01:15:07.000 Is it slower?
01:15:09.000 You know what?
01:15:09.000 It's not that it's so much one hurts more.
01:15:14.000 It all hurts the same, and how much can you take?
01:15:18.000 Okay?
01:15:18.000 So the needle hurts a certain amount, and if it's just a little dime-sized thing, eh, your threshold wasn't reached.
01:15:27.000 You're going to work your way up.
01:15:29.000 And the same thing for tapping.
01:15:31.000 That hurts a little bit less than an electric, okay?
01:15:36.000 But that being said, you may reach your threshold within 10 to 15 minutes, depending on how often you're going.
01:15:43.000 Now, I'm not going to kid you.
01:15:45.000 I learned to fear that needle.
01:15:46.000 I had to get ready, like getting ready for a fistfight, man.
01:15:50.000 I had to get on the bike, get my heart rate up with 45 minutes.
01:15:54.000 I had to make sure.
01:15:55.000 Look at you.
01:15:55.000 I had to make sure.
01:15:57.000 There you go.
01:15:58.000 In the tattoo studio, rocking out.
01:15:59.000 That's what Yoshi III, and he's really famous, you know.
01:16:02.000 Is there any video you getting tap, tap, tapped?
01:16:04.000 Ah, there may be some in there.
01:16:06.000 Yeah, I want to see it.
01:16:07.000 It's a bizarre and beautiful style of tattooing, the way they do it with the stick and the tap [...
01:16:15.000 I pursued a whole art I paint and draw every day.
01:16:21.000 Do you?
01:16:37.000 I had a sensei for that.
01:16:39.000 I went twice a week, sometimes three times.
01:16:43.000 I was the only Anglo there.
01:16:47.000 And what I did, Joe, is I created a liberal arts education that I never had because I went on the road with Van Halen and never looked back.
01:16:59.000 High dozo on the high desert.
01:17:01.000 So I said, what would you do if you went to college in the 1500s?
01:17:06.000 You would learn language, which I learned every morning.
01:17:09.000 You would learn kendo.
01:17:10.000 You would learn go.
01:17:11.000 And you would learn how to handle the end of that paintbrush so that when you handle the end of that sword and it's surgically sharp, you have that finesse in your hands.
01:17:23.000 Do you follow my reasoning?
01:17:24.000 Sure.
01:17:25.000 If you can make a perfectly straight line with your breath...
01:17:29.000 You're more liable to be able to manage that surgically sharp five-pound sushi knife that's in your hand here because your eye has been trained to where to position a fine point.
01:17:40.000 This is the thinking.
01:17:41.000 Also, how do you develop...
01:17:44.000 That's all your art?
01:17:46.000 Yeah.
01:17:46.000 Oh, wow.
01:17:47.000 So I went to art class the way you would in the 1500s, and I spent two years learning how to handle four shades of gray and one shade of black.
01:17:57.000 Wow.
01:17:59.000 Yeah, that was one of Miyamoto Musashi's rules of life, that you had to be balanced.
01:18:06.000 You had to do everything.
01:18:07.000 You had to learn calligraphy.
01:18:08.000 You had to learn art, painting, poetry.
01:18:10.000 If you don't have a real fine touch with the brush, the first thing that you're going to do is you're going to grip that blade with all of your fingers, okay?
01:18:21.000 And you're going to end up tearing all of your tendons like that.
01:18:25.000 You're going to get surfer knots.
01:18:26.000 Like this, that are right there on top of your, like that.
01:18:31.000 You follow?
01:18:32.000 What's that from?
01:18:33.000 It's from gripping the blade wrong for the first four years of training.
01:18:39.000 You have to learn how to relax the hand?
01:18:40.000 Yep, and you'll use a paintbrush to do that.
01:18:43.000 You'll use a paintbrush so that you only are using that middle finger and that thumb here.
01:18:49.000 If you had a sword here, I can balance a full blast, you know, live blade.
01:18:54.000 And you only use this.
01:18:56.000 You're not doing this.
01:18:57.000 Not baseball.
01:18:59.000 It's just here.
01:19:00.000 It's a little closer to golf.
01:19:01.000 That's the thing you learn when you play pool.
01:19:03.000 Yes.
01:19:04.000 When you play pool, you use these fingers.
01:19:05.000 Bingo.
01:19:06.000 When I hold the cue, I cradle the cue.
01:19:08.000 You see you have that feather touch to it.
01:19:11.000 And it's all right here.
01:19:12.000 You'll see frequently in the woodblock prints when you're holding a sword, your fingers are like this in the print, like this.
01:19:20.000 And use the paintbrush to teach that.
01:19:23.000 Also, there's an appreciation that comes into, there's a balance.
01:19:28.000 Because if it's all combat and it's all life or death, there's no finesse to that.
01:19:34.000 It just becomes brutal.
01:19:37.000 You follow?
01:19:37.000 I do follow.
01:19:38.000 So you learned all those things to balance out.
01:19:41.000 You did it on purpose.
01:19:43.000 You wanted to give yourself a balanced education.
01:19:45.000 I knew I was going to come out a different person after two years in Japan.
01:19:49.000 I had no idea how or what that would be, but I was very intrigued on what it might turn out, so let's go.
01:19:56.000 Where do you think you gained that perspective to have the foresight to know that you would get great benefit out of just doing this very unusual thing, moving to Japan, learning kendo, learning to play Go, learning to paint, learning the language?
01:20:12.000 That this education would be very beneficial to you.
01:20:17.000 I mean, that's a very rare thing to do for a rock star, right?
01:20:20.000 Yeah.
01:20:21.000 The first thing you would learn is what I learned, which is don't expect to be great in any of it.
01:20:26.000 Right.
01:20:26.000 Just try to learn.
01:20:28.000 Enjoy the process.
01:20:28.000 It's the process.
01:20:29.000 Yeah.
01:20:29.000 That's what we'll change.
01:20:30.000 That's what we'll say at the same time.
01:20:31.000 Okay?
01:20:32.000 That's it.
01:20:32.000 Joe, I could probably teach you go in 30 minutes and you'd whip my ass in two days.
01:20:38.000 I know that about you already.
01:20:40.000 I bet I wouldn't.
01:20:41.000 I bet I wouldn't.
01:20:43.000 But I bet you I'm a better teacher four years from now.
01:20:47.000 Just because I've had more class instruction in so many things.
01:20:52.000 And when they teach you Go, I've never played Go.
01:20:56.000 Well, hold on.
01:20:57.000 You asked me, how do I know to make an adventure?
01:21:01.000 What was the first job that you ever wanted to have as a kid, a little kid?
01:21:07.000 Six years old, nine years old, ten years old.
01:21:09.000 I wanted to be an artist.
01:21:10.000 What kind of artist?
01:21:12.000 Comic book.
01:21:13.000 Comic book illustrator.
01:21:15.000 Fascinating.
01:21:15.000 Yeah.
01:21:16.000 I wanted to join the Peace Corps.
01:21:18.000 And I announced it.
01:21:21.000 It was about seven.
01:21:22.000 Really?
01:21:23.000 Oh yeah.
01:21:24.000 And that was when they invented it.
01:21:27.000 And then, to add fury to the fire, a next-door neighbor actually did join the Peace Corps.
01:21:35.000 Chick Lewis was his name.
01:21:37.000 This was in 1963, somewhere in there.
01:21:40.000 And he went to West Africa and taught them how to dig, you know, crop rotation and everything.
01:21:47.000 And an inter-tribe squabble got shot with an arrow.
01:21:53.000 Fuck!
01:21:57.000 I couldn't wait.
01:21:59.000 The idea...
01:22:00.000 Did he live?
01:22:00.000 Oh, yeah.
01:22:01.000 And when my parents...
01:22:02.000 When I told my parents...
01:22:04.000 My father's a doctor.
01:22:05.000 When I told my parents, I want to join the Peace Corps, it was supported.
01:22:10.000 So the...
01:22:11.000 Oh, that'll turn...
01:22:12.000 That'll make you...
01:22:13.000 That'll build your character.
01:22:14.000 Now you'll become...
01:22:16.000 Now you will make a contribution.
01:22:18.000 Every dinner started.
01:22:20.000 Every dinner of my life, until my dad was dead and I was 60 years old, we'll start off with, okay, children, he called us that in our 60s.
01:22:28.000 Okay, children, what did we do today that was constructive?
01:22:32.000 Or, okay, children, what did we do today that's worth putting in the book?
01:22:38.000 As if you were writing a great book.
01:22:40.000 And the best was, okay, children, what did we do today that's going to benefit the rest of us?
01:22:50.000 And my solution to that early on was the Peace Corps.
01:22:54.000 We're going to pitch in.
01:22:55.000 Hold on a second.
01:22:56.000 We're going to pitch in, and we're going to come back with some adventure stories.
01:22:59.000 This guy got shot with an arrow?
01:23:00.000 Yeah.
01:23:01.000 But he lived.
01:23:01.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:23:02.000 They air vac him out and fly him back to California.
01:23:06.000 But, you know, fellas, fellas, we're all family.
01:23:09.000 Jesus.
01:23:09.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:23:11.000 Where'd he get hit?
01:23:12.000 That I don't remember.
01:23:13.000 But, you know, he's in West Africa in the 60s, and they're learning how to dig trenches and teaching health and building infirmaries.
01:23:23.000 And I learned early on from that that you could pitch in.
01:23:28.000 You know what that means.
01:23:29.000 That means help out.
01:23:31.000 But you could combine some adventure with it, too.
01:23:33.000 And that that can take you some really interesting places.
01:23:37.000 And that it was okay to seek out adventure.
01:23:40.000 As long as you're pitching in.
01:23:42.000 And so you went to the Peace Corps?
01:23:44.000 No.
01:23:46.000 No, no.
01:23:47.000 But you wanted to.
01:23:47.000 I made up for it.
01:23:48.000 You thought about it.
01:23:49.000 Later on, I went back to school when I was 48, and I became an EMT. Oh, I remember that.
01:23:55.000 In New York City, of all things.
01:23:58.000 I had no idea that I was actually going to put on a uniform.
01:24:02.000 I thought to myself, where can I get civilian first aid training that's the most extreme?
01:24:09.000 I thought, ah, an ambulance driver in New York City or Chicago or Miami.
01:24:16.000 I hired a school.
01:24:18.000 I joined a school.
01:24:20.000 Paid for it.
01:24:22.000 Took me about six months.
01:24:24.000 I thought at the end of it, I'll take my exams, make my teacher proud.
01:24:28.000 And now I am...
01:24:31.000 That much smarter.
01:24:32.000 I travel a lot.
01:24:33.000 I travel a lot alone.
01:24:36.000 I just increase my education.
01:24:38.000 Be of value.
01:24:40.000 All right.
01:24:41.000 And at the end of it, my instructor, senior instructor, says, so you're going to go do your ambulance time?
01:24:47.000 I was stunned.
01:24:48.000 What do you mean ambulance time?
01:24:50.000 She says, you got great practical scores.
01:24:53.000 She says, I know you were just planning to, you know, graduate and move on, but you can get a uniform and we'll get you in an ambulance and you can go do your 200 hours or whatever it is to an artist like us, to a poet like us,
01:25:09.000 a storyteller.
01:25:10.000 We're going to go walk into more apartments in the Mercy Projects than Jay-Z, who's from there.
01:25:18.000 So to speak.
01:25:20.000 We're gonna go crawl under the train at the Fulton Street Station.
01:25:24.000 We're gonna go up onto the rooftops, 13 floors up, being led by a nine-year-old kid yelling, she's this way, she's this way.
01:25:32.000 And you're actually gonna save her fucking life?
01:25:37.000 That's wild.
01:25:39.000 Not only that, but we're gonna learn how to open a fire hydrant.
01:25:43.000 Yeah.
01:25:45.000 1930s style.
01:25:46.000 The one with the big deep keyhole.
01:25:48.000 I know you always wondered.
01:25:50.000 I'm not saying it on the radio.
01:25:52.000 But I learned.
01:25:54.000 I can teach you all kinds of great things.
01:25:57.000 It's endless.
01:25:59.000 And walking into somebody's place and the stories.
01:26:03.000 My favorite was the old folks.
01:26:05.000 My favorite was 70 and up, because they got the stories.
01:26:10.000 They're the most stoic.
01:26:12.000 They'd be the most calm, you follow.
01:26:15.000 Right now, for example, I'll give you one of my favorites, Coney Island.
01:26:21.000 This is a far reach here.
01:26:24.000 Many of you who work in EMT services, fire, law enforcement, etc., in the Coney Island area, I'm going to change his last name a little bit, but you're going to remember exactly who I'm talking about.
01:26:40.000 It's Donnie Sheckler.
01:26:42.000 I changed his last name just enough.
01:26:45.000 Donnie was the most famous homeless person in the whole Coney Island area.
01:26:52.000 I met Donnie the first time in a rainstorm in the middle of the winter parked next to the Ferris wheel on Stilwell Avenue, the wooden one.
01:27:01.000 He asked if he could come and sit in the back of the bus.
01:27:04.000 We call it an ambulance box, because he was soaking wet.
01:27:08.000 And the fellows, my teachers at the time, my instructors, they knew him right away.
01:27:12.000 Donnie, how are you?
01:27:13.000 Donnie, what is he?
01:27:13.000 Sure, man, get in there.
01:27:15.000 Donnie had newspaper for insulation and whatever like this.
01:27:21.000 We let him warm up.
01:27:23.000 Come on, Donnie, get in here.
01:27:25.000 We got heat.
01:27:27.000 Saw him again that summer.
01:27:28.000 Sure, Donnie, get in here.
01:27:29.000 We got air conditioning.
01:27:31.000 Donnie would call himself in to the ambulance, and we would have to go get him.
01:27:37.000 We always acted like we knew him, but we treated him like we'd never heard this before.
01:27:42.000 And we would drive him to Coney Island Hospital, where they would give him a meal, warm him up or cool him down, and release him, say four to six hours later.
01:27:52.000 On a day like today, when we would get on shift, we would all ask fondly, Has Donnie checked in yet?
01:28:00.000 Because Donnie would call himself into the hospital four times in one day.
01:28:05.000 He would be released and you'd get another call and we'd have to drive back down to the liquor store and pick Donnie up as if we hadn't seen him that morning.
01:28:12.000 So was that his like socializing?
01:28:15.000 That was his thing, is he had figured out the system.
01:28:19.000 The last time I lifted Donnie up into the ambulance, I noticed he had on a brand new pair of Payless wingtips.
01:28:29.000 The fellas down at Payless helped him out.
01:28:31.000 We routinely bought him something to drink.
01:28:34.000 Donnie was kind of eyes and ears for us.
01:28:37.000 What happened?
01:28:39.000 I'll tell you what happened, boys, because I saw it.
01:28:42.000 First time I dealt with a gunshot.
01:28:45.000 The fella got, I think, seven times all in the back of his ass.
01:28:51.000 It was Donnie from across the street who saw what happened.
01:28:54.000 What happened, Donnie?
01:28:55.000 Well, you know the way these kids hold the gun?
01:28:58.000 You know, hip-hop guys hold the gun and they kind of droop it sideways?
01:29:03.000 Well, the first guy came walking out of the liquor store and the second guy was holding that gun, like drooping it.
01:29:11.000 The first guy turned around and tried to run away and all the bullets went in his ass.
01:29:18.000 It's too dark, Joe?
01:29:21.000 What did his ass look like with seven bullets?
01:29:23.000 There's not a lot of ass meat there.
01:29:25.000 He bent over and tried to run back into the store because of that hip-hop shit with the gun.
01:29:30.000 All the bullets went down instead of straight.
01:29:33.000 And he survived.
01:29:34.000 We patched him up.
01:29:37.000 By the way, insider's tip, you know the gauze sterile pack that has cellophane?
01:29:42.000 It's sterile inside.
01:29:44.000 You don't use the gauze because that gets soaked up.
01:29:46.000 Just put the plastic right on the hole.
01:29:49.000 Okay.
01:29:50.000 Boom.
01:29:51.000 We would routinely, when it starts getting summer, and I bring it up now, when we get on shift, we would wonder, what time do you think Donnie's going to call it?
01:30:00.000 Oh, fuck, it's 95 degrees today.
01:30:02.000 How long did you do this for?
01:30:04.000 Four and a half years.
01:30:05.000 Jesus Christ.
01:30:06.000 Four and a half years as an EMT. Well...
01:30:09.000 How many days a week?
01:30:09.000 Oh, on and off.
01:30:11.000 It was, you know, it's a continuum.
01:30:13.000 Right.
01:30:14.000 And for me, it was primarily education, too.
01:30:17.000 I took every possible course you could imagine.
01:30:20.000 Did a lot of people recognize you?
01:30:21.000 International School for Tactical Medicine, Explosive Incident Command, History, Treatment, Mechanism, and Future Prospects and everything.
01:30:30.000 If nothing else...
01:30:32.000 You're a little luckier if I'm in the room if there's an earthquake, Joe Rogan.
01:30:36.000 I think they get many of them out here, but...
01:30:39.000 You know what I'm saying.
01:30:40.000 We're back in L.A. Be of value.
01:30:42.000 Be of value.
01:30:43.000 And it's an old approach, again, that you know who has this is Israel.
01:30:49.000 Okay?
01:30:50.000 Israeli approach is if you're good with dogs...
01:30:53.000 I'm going to drop my dogs off with you in case there's an earthquake, in case there's a hurricane, in case there's a flood.
01:30:59.000 I hear it's going to flood around here pretty soon, like tomorrow.
01:31:02.000 Is it?
01:31:03.000 Yeah.
01:31:04.000 Well, if I'm wearing a blue uniform, I'm going to drop my dogs off with you, if you're a dog man.
01:31:09.000 Who knows how to cook for 80 people?
01:31:15.000 Good.
01:31:15.000 You're going to make pancakes for tomorrow's breakfast because I've got to go work the fucking flood.
01:31:21.000 Where's my dog?
01:31:22.000 Where's my dog?
01:31:24.000 I know how to take care of the take-carer-overs.
01:31:27.000 I've been trained in how to take care of first responders.
01:31:30.000 It's a different protocol.
01:31:33.000 Things that you might get sued for if you handle civilians like tourniquets.
01:31:38.000 If it's somebody who went down from heat prostration and opened up a big-time wound, I'm carrying five tourniquets, if that's tactical.
01:31:47.000 Do you follow the reasoning?
01:31:48.000 Yes.
01:31:49.000 It's a different kind of first responders will wear themselves out way quick.
01:31:55.000 You've got to make sure everybody's drinking water.
01:31:57.000 You've got to make sure that everybody's warm enough or cold enough.
01:31:59.000 Did people recognize you when you were doing this?
01:32:01.000 Never.
01:32:02.000 Really?
01:32:03.000 Not ever.
01:32:04.000 Not ever.
01:32:05.000 Because they just didn't expect it?
01:32:06.000 No.
01:32:07.000 And I shaved off all my hair.
01:32:10.000 I weighed probably 15 more pounds of bench press, everything.
01:32:16.000 They never used my name.
01:32:18.000 I was Dero.
01:32:19.000 You could yell my name across.
01:32:21.000 The field.
01:32:23.000 But they all knew who you were, and I'm sure their friends knew who you were.
01:32:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:32:28.000 They were tickled.
01:32:28.000 How did it be so strange for them to do real calls?
01:32:31.000 Well, if you're genuinely enthusiastic, and I said it to you before, and I meant it true.
01:32:37.000 I say it funny, but I mean it money.
01:32:39.000 I wasn't somebody until I put on that blue uniform, as in, somebody make some coffee!
01:32:48.000 And I knew it and I accepted it and loved it.
01:32:51.000 I wasn't someone.
01:32:52.000 I said, someone make some fucking coffee!
01:32:56.000 And I was that someone.
01:32:58.000 So I have no illusions about, you know, again, was I good at chess?
01:33:04.000 No.
01:33:04.000 Have I taken a million lessons?
01:33:06.000 You bet.
01:33:07.000 And that has given me a strength of patience and an enthusiasm for everything that we're talking about here.
01:33:15.000 And do you still carry this approach to education and experience now?
01:33:19.000 Are you still doing new things now?
01:33:20.000 I take guitar lessons every week, and we just learned Al Green's Let's Stay Together, and Jesus Just Left Chicago by ZZ Top.
01:33:32.000 Oh.
01:33:37.000 When did you start taking guitar lessons?
01:33:39.000 I never stopped.
01:33:40.000 Oh, your whole life?
01:33:41.000 Yes.
01:33:42.000 Acoustic, I play...
01:33:44.000 Well, the way I said to the guitar teacher, and she says, imagine that I'm sitting at a beach bar somewhere like, say, Florida.
01:33:57.000 And there's all kinds of interesting people.
01:34:00.000 You have Jimmy Buffet types, and hey, there's some fashion models on a shoot, and Joey's there, and some of the guys from the gym, etc., like this, and somebody hands me a guitar.
01:34:14.000 I gotta be able to do an hour.
01:34:18.000 What can I play?
01:34:20.000 That tone.
01:34:22.000 So I don't play rock and roll.
01:34:23.000 I play Django Reinhardt.
01:34:25.000 Django Reinhardt?
01:34:27.000 What's that?
01:34:27.000 Gypsy.
01:34:29.000 I play jazz.
01:34:33.000 I play 1930s style sort of a thing.
01:34:38.000 I play Brazilian samba.
01:34:41.000 It's kind of like happy hour at Diamond Dave's Tiki Bunker where the debris meets the sea.
01:34:49.000 Happy hour from 5 till February, Joe.
01:34:53.000 And that's the repartee.
01:34:57.000 And, you know, next is...
01:35:01.000 A Brazilian version of I Can't Go For That.
01:35:05.000 Because I can't, Joe.
01:35:07.000 No, no.
01:35:08.000 No can do.
01:35:10.000 We laugh.
01:35:11.000 It's like sideburns, but we all had them.
01:35:15.000 So, guitar.
01:35:17.000 What else are you learning?
01:35:19.000 Can we take a break?
01:35:20.000 Yeah, you got to take a leak or something?
01:35:21.000 Yes.
01:35:21.000 Go ahead.
01:35:22.000 Go do that.
01:35:23.000 We'll be right here.
01:35:25.000 We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, with more Diamond Dave.
01:35:30.000 Diamond Dave's gonna refuel.
01:35:33.000 I guarantee you.
01:35:33.000 We're not live, are we?
01:35:34.000 No.
01:35:35.000 No.
01:35:35.000 Don't worry about it.
01:35:36.000 We're good.
01:35:36.000 Because if we're live, I'll hold it.
01:35:38.000 No, no, no, no.
01:35:39.000 We're not live.
01:35:40.000 Go ahead.
01:35:41.000 We want you to be comfortable.
01:35:42.000 Even if we were live, Jamie and I would just talk.
01:35:44.000 We're good.
01:35:49.000 That's some strong weed.
01:35:51.000 Get some of that.
01:35:53.000 Jesus.
01:35:55.000 He's, uh...
01:35:56.000 He's different.
01:35:58.000 Than the last time he was here.
01:36:00.000 Not in a bad way.
01:36:01.000 But, like, even more...
01:36:03.000 What's the word?
01:36:07.000 Exaggerated?
01:36:08.000 Like, bigger than...
01:36:09.000 Like, he's just more of a character.
01:36:14.000 Do you think that people...
01:36:15.000 This is not disrespectful because he can hear this because he's in the other room.
01:36:20.000 Broadcast out there.
01:36:21.000 Do you think as people get older they become more eccentric on purpose?
01:36:27.000 Almost as like...
01:36:29.000 It's kind of like a bit of a shield.
01:36:33.000 Right?
01:36:34.000 You're constantly performative.
01:36:37.000 More and more...
01:36:38.000 To be a guy like that, to be a rock star for most of your life, he almost has to fake reality.
01:36:50.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:36:52.000 He almost has to do...
01:36:54.000 A simulation of reality.
01:36:57.000 Because his reality is so weird.
01:36:59.000 Like, for him to, like, take an EMT classes and all these different things going to Japan, he's almost got to, like, insert himself into, like, a struggle.
01:37:10.000 Like, make a struggle.
01:37:12.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:37:13.000 Yeah.
01:37:15.000 There's also, like...
01:37:16.000 Simulate reality.
01:37:20.000 There's also what?
01:37:21.000 Trying to think how to...
01:37:23.000 Words.
01:37:27.000 Like the not giving a fuck.
01:37:29.000 Yeah, there's that too.
01:37:30.000 Where it's just rubbed off enough where there's none left.
01:37:34.000 And you just live life.
01:37:36.000 Yeah.
01:37:37.000 Really not caring.
01:37:38.000 Well, he's definitely got a lot of that.
01:37:41.000 But it's also, whenever someone's so eccentric, I always wonder if some of that eccentricity...
01:37:49.000 Is that a word?
01:37:51.000 Seems like it is.
01:37:52.000 It is, definitely.
01:37:53.000 Yeah.
01:37:54.000 Eccentric?
01:37:55.000 Eccentricity?
01:37:56.000 I don't think I've ever used that word.
01:37:59.000 What am I talking about?
01:38:00.000 I'm sure I've used that word.
01:38:01.000 But it's almost like that becomes sort of like a coat of armor that you wear.
01:38:07.000 Like, You're just eccentric.
01:38:11.000 Yeah, the only person that's come to my head is like Prince.
01:38:13.000 Oh, he was super eccentric, yeah.
01:38:15.000 I was watching a video I took at a concert that I went, well, the only time I saw Prince live, but that's what he was doing.
01:38:23.000 He kept coming in front of the stage, performing a little, backing off, turning the lights down, and full control of like the whole venue from the mic.
01:38:35.000 It was very different.
01:38:39.000 Yeah.
01:38:39.000 And he has a full band with him playing a bunch of music I'm not super familiar with because it wasn't like popular Prince songs.
01:38:45.000 Well, he did his own thing across the board.
01:38:47.000 I mean, he like stayed in Minneapolis.
01:38:50.000 Want to shut all those doors?
01:38:51.000 Show that one too.
01:38:53.000 Thank you.
01:38:55.000 You want me back, right?
01:38:56.000 I love you.
01:38:57.000 Of course I want you back.
01:38:58.000 Making an assumption here.
01:39:00.000 Did you make that paint on purpose or is that paint from painting?
01:39:05.000 No, this is actual, real deal.
01:39:08.000 Come sit down so people can hear you.
01:39:11.000 Come sit down so people can hear you.
01:39:14.000 No, this is actually You took a course on painting?
01:39:18.000 It was issued to me during an actual tactical course, but I'm a combat hippie.
01:39:23.000 Peace, love, and heavy weapons here, yo.
01:39:25.000 So do you get that paint from painting?
01:39:28.000 Yeah.
01:39:29.000 Everything that you saw on the screen there, on my Instagram and so forth, I paint giant size and little size and, you know, there you go.
01:39:37.000 And that's me.
01:39:38.000 And everything I do is in that size exactly that way.
01:39:41.000 I do it the way I learned, which is on my knees on a Tommy mat there.
01:39:46.000 Can you dig?
01:39:47.000 It's all done in a little corner, just like that.
01:39:49.000 It's all done there, just like that.
01:39:51.000 Boom!
01:39:52.000 That's my lesson.
01:39:53.000 We'll spend about four hours there.
01:39:55.000 Just like that.
01:39:56.000 And my whole drawing space is about, it's just a mat that's about three feet wide by three feet wide.
01:40:01.000 That's my office.
01:40:03.000 Everything I do is done.
01:40:05.000 In that position, bent over like when you first started reading the Sunday comics on the floor, you would lay on your belly or on your knees.
01:40:13.000 Well, there you go.
01:40:14.000 Well, you just have such a remarkably un-rockstar-like existence.
01:40:20.000 While simultaneously being very much a rock star.
01:40:24.000 You know, you do your own thing.
01:40:25.000 Like, you have a very...
01:40:26.000 It's a very unusual...
01:40:28.000 There's no other people I know like you that are you.
01:40:31.000 You know what I mean?
01:40:31.000 That are in your category.
01:40:33.000 Why do you think that might be, if it's true?
01:40:35.000 I don't know, man.
01:40:36.000 It's you.
01:40:37.000 It's part of what makes you unusual.
01:40:40.000 Rock and roll is kind of where the debris means to sea.
01:40:43.000 If you tilt the map...
01:40:45.000 Like Los Angeles.
01:40:46.000 Everything loose and unscrewed down rolls into L.A. or everybody.
01:40:51.000 And in rock and roll is that wonderful collecting point where you can combine sea salt with caramel.
01:41:03.000 At first it might not seem right.
01:41:06.000 You can combine peanut butter with chocolate.
01:41:08.000 What are you doing?
01:41:13.000 And voila!
01:41:14.000 I don't know if you just answered me or not.
01:41:18.000 If you were a chef, you can take chances in rock and roll.
01:41:21.000 You dig?
01:41:22.000 Other types of music, not so much.
01:41:24.000 Orchestra, that's Shakespeare.
01:41:26.000 You don't change a note.
01:41:27.000 Right.
01:41:27.000 You follow?
01:41:28.000 But in rock and roll, we learned from all of our heroes.
01:41:33.000 And this is our 50th year coming up.
01:41:35.000 Al Van Halen and I, 48, I think, for Mike and the two of us, all right?
01:41:40.000 And we come from backgrounds of different kinds of music and I played saxophone in the marching band.
01:41:48.000 I learned to play saxophone starting when I was 4th, 5th grade, all the way up until I was a teenager.
01:41:54.000 So I think in terms of brass.
01:41:57.000 On my walls when I was growing up was Leonard Bernstein, Bob Dylan, and Bobby Fischer.
01:42:04.000 Later was Jimi Hendrix and James Brown.
01:42:07.000 So you were always in a jazz, even back then?
01:42:09.000 Oh yeah.
01:42:10.000 It was part of.
01:42:12.000 Do you play it on a computer ever?
01:42:16.000 No.
01:42:17.000 Computers came after me.
01:42:18.000 I got as far...
01:42:20.000 I played up until the little pieces that fit in, and then switched to Go.
01:42:25.000 I've been playing Go for a lot of years.
01:42:27.000 I grew up in a Japanese community up in Altadena.
01:42:30.000 Come on, that game was always there, like woodblock prints with these kinds of prints.
01:42:35.000 And do you find people to play with?
01:42:37.000 Like, how do you organize Go games?
01:42:38.000 Well, COVID knocked me out, but I have a visiting instructor.
01:42:43.000 Mr. Kim, Professor Kim, who would come over to the house regularly.
01:42:47.000 Really?
01:42:48.000 Oh, yeah.
01:42:49.000 And, geez, that got me through recovery on my back.
01:42:53.000 Playing go.
01:42:54.000 Yeah, I would stand up for my two-hour lesson because I couldn't sit down.
01:42:59.000 And he felt initially that I was not playing like a Korean would, which felt I was weak.
01:43:08.000 And he felt that even though it was unorthodox that I would stand up to play the game, that it increased my aggression, and that I was playing more like a Korean, and that was of value.
01:43:21.000 So what was your style?
01:43:24.000 Your style was not...
01:43:26.000 It was defensive.
01:43:28.000 Yes, I was playing according to a different approach.
01:43:31.000 And now with AlphaGo and artificial intelligence coming after us, it's a much more aggressive form of play.
01:43:39.000 It's like prison boxing versus pugilism.
01:43:44.000 You of all people know that technical boxing...
01:43:49.000 Is something very different than in prison.
01:43:53.000 You just start throwing and throwing and throwing until the one round is over.
01:43:58.000 As opposed to defend, counter punch, counter punch, counter punch.
01:44:02.000 And with artificial intelligence now, we have to form teams.
01:44:07.000 Of professional-level, tournament-level players of four and six now to put your minds together to battle that computer, all right?
01:44:15.000 And it is decisive because it has no human fear.
01:44:19.000 It's not afraid of anything.
01:44:21.000 So you have to adapt some of that mindset in the new approaches to how we play.
01:44:28.000 So human fear factors into the game?
01:44:30.000 Always.
01:44:31.000 Really?
01:44:31.000 Human fear factors into everything.
01:44:35.000 You lose 80 pieces in one sweep, that'll test your shit.
01:44:41.000 Now, that's not a Korean expression, but it could be.
01:44:45.000 And this is played, by the way, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Indonesian.
01:44:51.000 It's huge.
01:44:53.000 Don't they sometimes play it on multiple levels?
01:44:55.000 Isn't there a Go game that has more than one 3D Go?
01:45:00.000 I'm sure there are computerized games that resemble this.
01:45:05.000 But the original is so wildly complex, the amount of memory.
01:45:11.000 For example, what you're seeing now in terms of politics is guided by go versus chess.
01:45:17.000 How so?
01:45:17.000 Well...
01:45:18.000 Chinese versus American?
01:45:19.000 Sure.
01:45:20.000 Let's go there.
01:45:21.000 In the middle of the chessboard is what Westerners always struggle to control.
01:45:27.000 Control those center four squares.
01:45:29.000 You follow?
01:45:30.000 Okay.
01:45:30.000 Asian approach to go is...
01:45:32.000 No, no.
01:45:32.000 Corner work.
01:45:34.000 You want to work the four corners and surround.
01:45:38.000 And that's what's happening when we start seeing colonial You follow?
01:45:44.000 Well, suppose, you know, when you hear that, and it's not just Chinese, it could be any country, but when you hear, for example, so-and-so is buying up all the water in Africa, all the oil in Ecuador, and all of the ice in the south of it,
01:46:00.000 whatever, they're thinking in four corners.
01:46:04.000 They are surrounding You follow?
01:46:07.000 Westerners love to think in terms of heavy infantry.
01:46:11.000 You make a line, I'll make a line, and like the Civil War, we'll march right into each other.
01:46:17.000 It's kind of like chess.
01:46:20.000 Go is, no, no, no.
01:46:22.000 I'm going to hide in a tree over here in this corner.
01:46:25.000 I'm going to hide under the water down in this corner.
01:46:28.000 And I'm going to hide behind a rock in this corner.
01:46:30.000 I'm going to let you wander down in the middle.
01:46:33.000 Trick or treat.
01:46:34.000 You think that's what's going on right now?
01:46:35.000 Absolutely.
01:46:36.000 It's a whole different mindset.
01:46:38.000 And you're trained in this from the time you were West Point.
01:46:41.000 Are you concerned?
01:46:43.000 I'm pissed.
01:46:45.000 People say, what are you pissed about?
01:46:46.000 What have you got to be pissed about?
01:46:48.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:46:48.000 I can make a lot of jokes about being egocentric.
01:46:52.000 But I stopped being pissed on my own behalf a long time ago.
01:46:56.000 I'm pissed on your behalf.
01:46:59.000 Pissed on your kids' behalf.
01:47:02.000 What kind of fuck-shit world are we leaving behind where they don't get to go to Florida because it's underwater?
01:47:08.000 What kind of place are we going where, yeah, there used to be some really great giant trees now, but they're dead.
01:47:18.000 What kind of place do we leave behind?
01:47:20.000 I have a house that has trees on it that are 100 years old and more.
01:47:25.000 And my opening statement to the gardeners is, I don't give a fuck what you think of me.
01:47:31.000 I'm showbiz and I already know.
01:47:34.000 I catch you messing with these trees.
01:47:38.000 We're going to have a real bad day.
01:47:41.000 I used to chase the coyotes down in Arroyo Seco in Pasadena.
01:47:47.000 Now I'm old and I protect them.
01:47:48.000 You protect the coyotes?
01:47:50.000 You bet.
01:47:51.000 In so many senses of the world, I'll vote your ass right out of that town I catch you chasing.
01:47:56.000 Chasing coyotes?
01:47:57.000 You know what I'm saying, Joe.
01:47:58.000 I'm speaking poetically.
01:48:00.000 Don't pee in the ocean either.
01:48:02.000 Don't pee in the ocean?
01:48:03.000 Don't fuck the ocean up.
01:48:04.000 You don't pee in it?
01:48:04.000 I know people who have kids.
01:48:06.000 Don't fuck the ocean up.
01:48:08.000 Well, yeah, but that's not peeing.
01:48:09.000 I enjoyed my ocean.
01:48:10.000 I've had my ocean time.
01:48:11.000 Ocean's amazing.
01:48:12.000 Okay.
01:48:13.000 Now, on behalf of everybody else who depends on the ocean, don't pee in it.
01:48:17.000 You don't mean real pee.
01:48:18.000 You'll piss me off.
01:48:19.000 You mean like pollution.
01:48:21.000 Everything I say is poetry.
01:48:23.000 Come on.
01:48:23.000 I understand.
01:48:24.000 Come on.
01:48:24.000 I'm trying to decipher.
01:48:26.000 But what are you pissed off about?
01:48:27.000 We went from China to environmental concerns.
01:48:30.000 I'm pissed about everything.
01:48:31.000 Don't you watch the documentaries?
01:48:33.000 I watch some of them.
01:48:34.000 Pick any subject.
01:48:35.000 Yeah.
01:48:35.000 Any subject.
01:48:36.000 But, like, are you pissed off about, like, what are you pissed off about?
01:48:43.000 Commerce?
01:48:44.000 International commerce with China?
01:48:45.000 Are we still arguing over women's rights?
01:48:52.000 I think in some states, yes.
01:48:55.000 In some states, particularly with abortion rights, it's still a giant issue.
01:48:58.000 Are we still struggling over Roe versus Wade?
01:49:01.000 Really?
01:49:01.000 Yeah.
01:49:02.000 Okay.
01:49:05.000 I have the simplest solution.
01:49:07.000 Let's move around the subject board here a little bit.
01:49:10.000 Law enforcement.
01:49:12.000 There's a great subject, okay?
01:49:14.000 And we talk about sweeping reforms and defunding police and whatever.
01:49:20.000 Okay.
01:49:20.000 The only one who listens to both sides of any argument is the neighbors.
01:49:24.000 And I am your friendly neighbor, Dave.
01:49:26.000 Okay.
01:49:26.000 Alright.
01:49:27.000 Hi, Dave.
01:49:27.000 Anytime things spill out of control, I don't care if you got a cowboy hat or dreadlocks.
01:49:33.000 I don't care if you're a skinhead or you are rock and roll.
01:49:38.000 I have seen the party spill out of control.
01:49:41.000 I have been a major component in that party spilling out of control.
01:49:45.000 Me and my music.
01:49:46.000 You're going to need some law enforcement.
01:49:48.000 And whenever you talk about sweeping reforms, well, you ask me, Dave, I want you to reform your show a little bit.
01:49:56.000 My first thought is, let's see the money.
01:50:00.000 If you say, no, Dave, I'm going to pay you less and I'd like to see you change your show.
01:50:07.000 Well, so why would you expect anywhere else, okay?
01:50:11.000 Now, I grew up around law enforcement.
01:50:14.000 I grew up around military.
01:50:16.000 I was the only guy who wasn't law enforcement in my first karate class.
01:50:21.000 They were all four feet taller than me.
01:50:24.000 It's a natural thing, okay?
01:50:27.000 The idea that we're going to defund the police and expect what?
01:50:33.000 You gotta be crazy.
01:50:34.000 So here's your solution.
01:50:36.000 And that we haven't gotten to it, it's starting to fucking piss me off.
01:50:40.000 You gotta triple the paychecks.
01:50:44.000 And then you'll start getting the genius-level, combat-proof, full-blast, industrial-strength brains, because you're going to have to be a psychiatrist, a social worker, a Delta team member, a SWAT team fellow.
01:50:59.000 You're all in one.
01:51:00.000 I can get you that.
01:51:01.000 Let's start with $3,500 a week for patrol.
01:51:04.000 Wait a second.
01:51:05.000 Police chiefs should be making what that grubby fuck-shit lawyer down the street makes, which is $300 an hour.
01:51:12.000 Yeah, an hour.
01:51:14.000 And now, once you've established some proper, thoughtful paychecks, I have some reforms.
01:51:24.000 And I'll bet you we have an atmosphere that's a little bit more elastic.
01:51:29.000 Instead of this, well, I'm going to take away your lunch hour.
01:51:34.000 I don't know how to say fuck you in nine languages now.
01:51:38.000 On the other hand, I don't have any particular love for the uniform.
01:51:44.000 Well, I do.
01:51:44.000 5'11 uniform looks good.
01:51:46.000 But don't think for a second that I am all the way over on one side or another.
01:51:52.000 I am a left-wing liberal.
01:51:55.000 Rights, rights, rights, rights, rights.
01:51:57.000 Can you dig it?
01:51:58.000 Yeah.
01:51:59.000 Alright.
01:52:00.000 I'm with you.
01:52:01.000 I have no problem with shaving my head and joining a military force to defend those rights if I am called upon to do it.
01:52:09.000 I'm too old to do that, but I'm not too old for first aid.
01:52:13.000 Can you dig it?
01:52:14.000 I can dig it.
01:52:15.000 So I'm right down the middle.
01:52:16.000 Before my daddy died, he was in the wheelchair.
01:52:19.000 He waited until my sisters were out the door.
01:52:22.000 He says, go in the drawer.
01:52:23.000 I got some papers.
01:52:24.000 I says, what do you got?
01:52:25.000 We were co-conspirators, me and my dad.
01:52:28.000 He's gonna join Doctors Without Borders.
01:52:31.000 He's gonna go to Africa, do eye exams.
01:52:34.000 I says, how does that work with a wheelchair?
01:52:36.000 He says, I don't have to stand up to do eye exams.
01:52:39.000 Don't tell your sisters.
01:52:41.000 He died three months later.
01:52:43.000 Okay?
01:52:47.000 This is a good interview.
01:52:48.000 Yeah, we're all over the place.
01:52:49.000 So I'm with you on the police thing.
01:52:51.000 The defunding the police thing is idealistically, I see what they're thinking.
01:52:55.000 They're thinking that there's too much police brutality, there's too many rogue cops, too many people that are unqualified to handle the job, and then they over-escalate situations, and we see those viral videos, and they're infuriating.
01:53:10.000 I can solve it with the color of America, which is green.
01:53:13.000 It's not black.
01:53:14.000 It's not white.
01:53:15.000 It's not whatever.
01:53:16.000 If you paycheck appropriately for people, then you can make your request.
01:53:22.000 Like, responsible.
01:53:23.000 Paycheck is one thing.
01:53:24.000 You want me to be responsible for the bullets in my gun?
01:53:27.000 Pay me to do it.
01:53:28.000 They need training.
01:53:29.000 They need much, much, much more training.
01:53:30.000 You want me to train?
01:53:30.000 You pay me to do it.
01:53:31.000 For sure.
01:53:32.000 But they also need training.
01:53:34.000 I mean, the money should, look, it should be a very valuable position.
01:53:39.000 It's very difficult to attain.
01:53:40.000 Same as a teacher.
01:53:41.000 It's incredibly valuable for our culture, for our human beings that we're protecting and that we educate.
01:53:48.000 It should be a very high prestige job, but unfortunately it's not, whether it's school teacher or police officer.
01:53:54.000 It's the same kind of thing.
01:53:56.000 And I think police officers in particular are woefully under-trained.
01:54:00.000 And if you talk to people like Jocko Willink, who's a former Navy SEAL commander, he'll tell you that they should be spending somewhere in the neighborhood of like 60% of their time training.
01:54:12.000 So when they go into situations, they know exactly what to do, how to handle it, and they do it with discipline, the type of discipline that you get with special forces groups.
01:54:22.000 I completely agree with you.
01:54:24.000 That's how it should be.
01:54:25.000 Read my comic strip.
01:54:28.000 I have no particular love for the police.
01:54:30.000 I just understand human chemistry.
01:54:33.000 I have no love for abusive police, but I have all the love in the world for police that are doing their job and risking their life to help people and keep people safe.
01:54:41.000 I think that's what most of them are doing.
01:54:43.000 And most of them are infuriated by bad police work.
01:54:46.000 Most of them see guys being abusive and see horrible things that get escalated unnecessarily by insecure cops.
01:54:54.000 You know what?
01:54:54.000 Unfortunately, I think I'm the first one coming out of my bracket of entertainment to even talk like this.
01:55:00.000 I'll lose friends for even speaking like this.
01:55:03.000 What friends?
01:55:04.000 I don't think so.
01:55:05.000 Oh, no.
01:55:05.000 The left wing wants nothing to do with this.
01:55:09.000 The left wing routinely embarks on punishment.
01:55:13.000 Of the police.
01:55:14.000 Oh yeah.
01:55:15.000 Yeah, but I don't think they understand what they're talking about when they're saying defund the police.
01:55:18.000 You're seeing that now in Minneapolis.
01:55:19.000 You're seeing it in New York City.
01:55:21.000 You're seeing it in a lot of these places that have defunded the police or at least taken the teeth out of the police.
01:55:25.000 Then you have radically escalating violence, radically escalating murder rates, break-ins.
01:55:33.000 It's horrific shit, and it's not the way to handle things.
01:55:35.000 You're just going to make people less safe, you're going to make it more dangerous, and you're going to make the cops less likely to engage.
01:55:42.000 Cops now are scared to go on calls because they don't want to wind up in a viral video.
01:55:46.000 They don't want to get sued.
01:55:48.000 I see it.
01:55:49.000 In New York City, they can civil sue cops now.
01:55:51.000 Civil suits are back.
01:55:53.000 I think...
01:55:55.000 That used to be kind of one-sided and it's not anymore.
01:55:58.000 You see the Democratic riots and you had a lot of long hairs and Mayor Daley, which was, you know, a real extreme lopsided event.
01:56:08.000 And today, I think we have an equal.
01:56:13.000 You say, what pisses you off?
01:56:14.000 Yeah.
01:56:15.000 I don't care if you got a man bun or a skin hit.
01:56:18.000 Yeah.
01:56:19.000 I don't care if you're wearing camo on the dance floor.
01:56:21.000 We got both in this room.
01:56:22.000 I don't care if you're wearing camo on the dance floor or you are metro whatever.
01:56:29.000 I don't care who you're fucking or how hard.
01:56:32.000 But both sides are scaring each other's horses now.
01:56:36.000 And that's an anger moment for me.
01:56:40.000 Really, we're still arguing over these basics.
01:56:43.000 Voter rights?
01:56:44.000 Really?
01:56:46.000 Come on.
01:56:48.000 There are some real givens here.
01:56:50.000 Civil rights.
01:56:52.000 Really?
01:56:52.000 We haven't really advanced from my memory in the 60s, really, in terms of actual civil rights?
01:56:59.000 We're arguing over statues?
01:57:02.000 Really?
01:57:03.000 That pisses me off.
01:57:04.000 Seems small.
01:57:05.000 Seems like there's bigger issues.
01:57:08.000 We've explored some of them here.
01:57:11.000 And it's way easier to focus on a statue.
01:57:16.000 Then it is, what's going on with the climate?
01:57:19.000 Really?
01:57:19.000 We're still arguing if that's for real?
01:57:23.000 That pisses me off, because I love the ocean.
01:57:25.000 Well, the statues are right in front of you.
01:57:27.000 You know, something like the ocean is an enormous problem that requires international cooperation that's very difficult to attain.
01:57:35.000 That's an almost insurmountable problem.
01:57:37.000 But that statue is right there, and that guy was a slave owner.
01:57:40.000 And so they're like, take it down.
01:57:41.000 And I get that.
01:57:43.000 I get that they're trying to shape the world in a better place.
01:57:46.000 And I think a lot of the statues that they're taking down, here's the rub with a lot of the statues that they were taking down that were put up during the Civil Rights Movement of Confederate soldiers and stuff like that.
01:57:56.000 Those were put up in protest of the civil rights movement and they were really cheap.
01:58:01.000 They're really shitty statues.
01:58:03.000 They were put up at a time where there's people resisting the civil rights movement.
01:58:07.000 So the people that want to take down those statues, there's probably some real good arguments for that.
01:58:12.000 I fully support that.
01:58:14.000 But when you get back to, like, taking down statues of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, like, now you're getting a little crazy.
01:58:21.000 And I understand that a lot of those people were slave owners.
01:58:24.000 They were.
01:58:25.000 Wait, wait, let's go even crazier.
01:58:26.000 Yeah.
01:58:27.000 If you don't draw...
01:58:28.000 I don't want to walk past a statue of a Nazi.
01:58:34.000 Right.
01:58:34.000 Okay.
01:58:35.000 I read a book, Lost Victories, by Mannheim, tank commander.
01:58:39.000 He's a brilliant tank commander.
01:58:40.000 He's a Nazi.
01:58:41.000 And I don't really want to walk past his statue, even though he's got some pretty good lessons in terms of combat.
01:58:49.000 You read his book?
01:58:50.000 Oh, yeah.
01:58:50.000 What is it about?
01:58:52.000 Tank warfare.
01:58:53.000 About tank strategies?
01:58:54.000 Armored strategy, okay, and so forth.
01:58:56.000 Why did you read a book on armored tank strategy?
01:58:58.000 It's all connected, all right?
01:59:01.000 You could play that out on the board.
01:59:03.000 Right.
01:59:03.000 Do you play chess at all?
01:59:05.000 Have you ever played chess?
01:59:06.000 I have played chess, but I don't.
01:59:07.000 What do you imagine when you play chess?
01:59:08.000 I'm not very good at it.
01:59:09.000 Just pieces?
01:59:09.000 I imagine what it would be like to be that chick from Queen's Gambit and kicking everybody's ass.
01:59:13.000 There you go.
01:59:13.000 I don't really know how to play.
01:59:14.000 I hear horses.
01:59:15.000 When I play Go, it's cavalry.
01:59:19.000 Oh, really?
01:59:20.000 Oh, yeah.
01:59:21.000 I imagine that it's cavalry and I'm going to work your flank.
01:59:25.000 I'm going to crush your middle.
01:59:27.000 I'm going to buckle that left first because you're right-handed, right?
01:59:30.000 Yeah.
01:59:31.000 Yeah.
01:59:39.000 Yeah.
01:59:40.000 Sorry, I'm giving you away my tricks.
01:59:42.000 Yeah, that's okay.
01:59:43.000 I don't have enough time to learn to go.
01:59:46.000 But where were we?
01:59:49.000 We were a strategy.
01:59:50.000 We were...
01:59:51.000 Your tank book.
01:59:54.000 Oh, Nazis.
01:59:56.000 Statues.
01:59:56.000 Statues of bad people.
01:59:58.000 Don't draw a line.
01:59:59.000 Okay.
02:00:00.000 The statues...
02:00:02.000 If you're gonna start to argue about it and it becomes a huge contention, then it virally will expand to something ugly, like Hamilton, which was the play that got made in a movie, got disincluded from winning an award because Hamilton owned slaves.
02:00:21.000 Now, the individuals who wrote that play probably never even conceived of that, and it's a play That is heavily black Spanish speaking, ethnic hood, whatever you want to call it.
02:00:36.000 It's a whole new approach to that moment in history.
02:00:40.000 And they're disincluded from awards because the hero of the play, which if I'm not mistaken is not played by a Caucasian, in real life owned slaves.
02:00:50.000 Look this up.
02:00:51.000 This is a real thing.
02:00:53.000 I'm not a big fan of awards, so it doesn't really bother me that much.
02:00:57.000 I loved award shows until they became an opportunity.
02:01:01.000 I was watching TV when the very first one showed.
02:01:04.000 It was Marlon Brando had an Indian Little Feather come up and that was...
02:01:10.000 Accept his award.
02:01:11.000 It was unbelievable.
02:01:12.000 Oh my God!
02:01:13.000 What happened there?
02:01:14.000 You dig?
02:01:16.000 Then you also started to run into, I'm going to say, an endless list of names as acceptance speeches.
02:01:25.000 And that's ass-kissing.
02:01:26.000 Now, most people, if they have nothing clear to say, will sit up there and go, oh my god, oh my god, I don't believe I'm up here.
02:01:33.000 Joe, I don't believe I'm up here.
02:01:34.000 I want to thank Ray and Stu and Carl and Louise and Bobby and Noah and Joshua and Tina.
02:01:46.000 Acceptance speeches used to be an opportunity for those of us in the audience who may be behind you.
02:01:51.000 Show me your footsteps.
02:01:53.000 Yes.
02:01:54.000 When Kurosawa, the great director, you know, you would know it from Sanjuro, Seven Samurai, etc., you had a one-sentence acceptance speech.
02:02:04.000 I might as well have it tattooed on my leg and read it every day.
02:02:08.000 To be an artist means you can never turn away your eyes.
02:02:19.000 That's worth the whole show.
02:02:22.000 You walk away from that changed, especially if your parents can explain it to you.
02:02:26.000 Show me your footsteps is a great way to describe the best benefit that you get out of listening to artists talk about things.
02:02:33.000 You just won?
02:02:33.000 Yeah.
02:02:34.000 Tell me, how did you climb this mountain?
02:02:37.000 What did you use to get?
02:02:38.000 Why would you even think of it?
02:02:40.000 But isn't that the special part?
02:02:43.000 And then instead of letting them talk, they get like 90 seconds and they're standing on a podium and it's all completely unnatural and it's all very quick.
02:02:51.000 They have to have, if you're going to be an artist, you can never turn your eyes.
02:02:55.000 They have to have something succinct.
02:02:57.000 It has to be something quick.
02:02:59.000 Then, like Grandma used to say, get in front of it, Joe.
02:03:04.000 Get in front of it.
02:03:05.000 I mean, practice.
02:03:08.000 Think of what you're going to say in case you win.
02:03:10.000 Yes.
02:03:11.000 And it's what will you share with those behind you?
02:03:15.000 The problem is now there's too many people that are deeply invested in saying things that they think people want to hear rather than saying things that express their true feelings or their true thoughts or their true emotions.
02:03:31.000 I think we're using opportunities frequently as an artist.
02:03:36.000 It's tempting.
02:03:37.000 This lack of box of chocolates is so tempting.
02:03:40.000 These broad-based generalizations and being able to go, wow, they love my music, therefore they'll love my children, my choice of car, my third wife, and this Broadway play I wrote.
02:03:52.000 No.
02:03:54.000 We love your music.
02:03:57.000 They love my voice.
02:03:59.000 Therefore, they'll love my acting and my clothing line.
02:04:06.000 Watch out.
02:04:08.000 You follow?
02:04:10.000 So...
02:04:11.000 When we win something for our acting or our music, sometimes we'll fall prey to that tempting generalization.
02:04:18.000 We'll go, well, then they're going to love my political mindset, my medical mindset, my social mindset, and I'm going to share that now.
02:04:26.000 No, no.
02:04:28.000 Elected or voted for you because of excellence in an area.
02:04:34.000 I know I'm up here for acting, but I want to talk about animal rights.
02:04:38.000 Honestly, though, I don't...
02:04:39.000 Honestly, most of the time, what's infuriating to me is that it doesn't resonate as being genuine.
02:04:45.000 I don't really think that that's what they're thinking about.
02:04:48.000 I think they want you to think that they're deep and profound, that they're thinking about these things.
02:04:53.000 And that's what drives people the most crazy.
02:04:55.000 That virtue signaling, the clear and obvious virtue signaling, where you know they're doing it because they think it'll be good for their career to say the things they're saying.
02:05:04.000 They think that it'll endear them with the people that cast films and write films and produce films or whatever the fuck else they're doing, television shows.
02:05:14.000 Because they want to be accepted.
02:05:16.000 They want to be a part of the chosen ones.
02:05:18.000 And the best way to do that is to use that time in a performative way instead of like an honest, genuine method of expression or time of expression where they're on that stage and they speak from the heart and they have something that is like really deeply moving.
02:05:35.000 You see how your hands are moving?
02:05:37.000 Yeah.
02:05:37.000 This is called tactical humility.
02:05:40.000 Tactical humility?
02:05:41.000 I just want to thank all of you.
02:05:44.000 Is it fake?
02:05:45.000 No, no, no.
02:05:46.000 It's like you would use that hand.
02:05:49.000 It's the first sign that something's coming.
02:05:52.000 When you see tactical humility, it's an act.
02:05:56.000 You know, I just like this and that.
02:05:58.000 It can't be real with some folks?
02:06:00.000 Sorry?
02:06:01.000 Can it be real with some folks?
02:06:02.000 When some folks are doing it, that's how they really feel.
02:06:06.000 It depends entirely on the person and what they're expressing.
02:06:11.000 Because someone can do almost the exact same thing and it seems like horseshit.
02:06:15.000 And then someone else would do it, and it's so genuine and so true, and it resonates with you.
02:06:20.000 We can tell.
02:06:21.000 We can tell.
02:06:22.000 Most people can tell.
02:06:23.000 Some people can tell.
02:06:24.000 That's probably better to describe.
02:06:25.000 Some people can't tell.
02:06:27.000 Some people just, they buy the nonsense.
02:06:29.000 Maybe people that are like full all in with the ideology, you know, full woke.
02:06:34.000 They just, oh, he's saying the right things.
02:06:37.000 She's doing the right things.
02:06:38.000 They're on the right page.
02:06:40.000 So you're kind of joining a club.
02:06:42.000 Yes.
02:06:42.000 You're sort of joining with...
02:06:44.000 Instead of it being genuine.
02:06:47.000 Like, when someone is genuine, when someone's authentic, it resonates.
02:06:53.000 But it's not common.
02:06:55.000 My mother's 90 years old.
02:06:57.000 She's in and out.
02:06:59.000 She's in the home.
02:07:02.000 Time before last, she mentioned that my socks were horrible.
02:07:06.000 Pronounced, you're not mine.
02:07:08.000 Told me go.
02:07:09.000 Get out of the room.
02:07:10.000 Your socks were horrible?
02:07:11.000 Yeah.
02:07:12.000 What did you have on?
02:07:12.000 That's her sense of humor.
02:07:13.000 What kind of socks you had?
02:07:14.000 They didn't match my belt or some shit.
02:07:16.000 And she got upset?
02:07:17.000 She pretended to be upset.
02:07:19.000 Oh.
02:07:19.000 Your socks are horrible.
02:07:20.000 You're not mine.
02:07:22.000 And then she drifts.
02:07:23.000 That's her sense of humor.
02:07:25.000 Right.
02:07:26.000 Mom taught me, jeez, I was probably a teenager the first time I heard it, that only mediocre talents are complementary of each other.
02:07:34.000 The real talents are competing with each other.
02:07:37.000 Now go do your socks.
02:07:42.000 Only mediocre talents are complementary of each other.
02:07:45.000 Yeah, the real deal is competing with each other.
02:07:47.000 Yeah, but can't you be both?
02:07:49.000 No.
02:07:50.000 Why not?
02:07:51.000 Because I'm trying to be controversial.
02:07:55.000 You're trying to be controversial.
02:07:58.000 Can you join the club and transcend it?
02:08:01.000 I grew up in summer camp going, table number nine rules.
02:08:05.000 The rest of you are number one.
02:08:08.000 And all the other tables were our cousins and our brothers and looked just like us.
02:08:15.000 Well, you need some competition, correct?
02:08:18.000 You need fear.
02:08:20.000 Right.
02:08:20.000 You need fear.
02:08:22.000 You better put it in your breakfast cereal and you better put it in your vodka before you go to sleep.
02:08:28.000 You dig?
02:08:29.000 You need to have the fear that you're not going to get...
02:08:33.000 What they're getting.
02:08:35.000 Even if it's totally imagined.
02:08:37.000 Do you follow?
02:08:38.000 That's the pro with seeing another act.
02:08:43.000 And if you're not competing with somebody else, you should have the fear that you're not maximizing your talent and you're wasting your time.
02:08:51.000 So, but that's what I'm saying is that's the pro.
02:08:53.000 Like, say, if you went to a concert and you saw Hendrix live, it would scare you.
02:08:59.000 You'd be like, Jesus Christ, we gotta get on the ball.
02:09:02.000 That was what Eric Clapton said, right?
02:09:04.000 He saw Hendrix play, and he was like, what am I doing?
02:09:08.000 It would compel me...
02:09:10.000 To get going.
02:09:12.000 To get going and say to myself...
02:09:16.000 Well, okay, I'm not a guitar player per se.
02:09:18.000 Let's think of a vocalist.
02:09:20.000 Okay.
02:09:21.000 Who's one of the best solo artists ever, time not specific?
02:09:25.000 Tina Turner or Rod Stewart?
02:09:26.000 There you go.
02:09:27.000 Watch one or both?
02:09:30.000 You're gonna walk away going, okay, whatever talent I have, I'm not putting in enough time.
02:09:37.000 10,000 hours is for sissies.
02:09:39.000 That's the white boy version.
02:09:40.000 The Asian version is 10 hours a day every day for 10 years.
02:09:45.000 That's closer to 30,000-40,000 hours.
02:09:49.000 Have I done my 40,000 hours?
02:09:53.000 I have.
02:09:54.000 Alex Van Halen has.
02:09:57.000 The dentist who's building my tooth is a 50,000-hour instructor.
02:10:02.000 Do you and him talk?
02:10:04.000 Does he send you images?
02:10:05.000 Who?
02:10:06.000 The dentist that's building your tooth?
02:10:08.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:09.000 You just told him what you want.
02:10:10.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:11.000 I want a gold frame.
02:10:12.000 Yeah, and today it requires a 50,000-hour surgeon to duplicate a trip to a downtown $15 visit of a dentist in 1926. Yeah, but it'll probably fit better.
02:10:25.000 It's the same fellas who do the movie teeth.
02:10:28.000 When you see, like, Johnny Depp with the pirate teeth with the sapphires and the gold and stuff, it's showbiz city.
02:10:35.000 So, of course, they're building...
02:10:36.000 Come on, how many vampire movies are there?
02:10:39.000 No teeth, no vampire, Joey!
02:10:41.000 That's true.
02:10:42.000 Fake teeth for a vampire movie.
02:10:44.000 Hello!
02:10:45.000 You have to have it.
02:10:46.000 It's so...
02:10:47.000 In showbiz city.
02:10:48.000 But it's curious that to, you know, move to that...
02:10:52.000 Anyways, it is a mindset, and I am continually thrilled, even now, especially with YouTube, you know, being able to access the past at a moment.
02:11:05.000 It used to be, go look it up at the Encyclopedia Britannica.
02:11:08.000 How many times did I get up from the dinner table and start rifling through that thin paper?
02:11:13.000 Right, and you had to make sure that that was real, that what the encyclopedia was saying was real.
02:11:17.000 You couldn't cross-reference it with other online sources.
02:11:20.000 If it was even in the encyclopedia.
02:11:24.000 And now, literally as we speak here, we can rev it up.
02:11:29.000 I used to have to sit in front of the television at the million dollar movie and hope that that thing is going to come on at a certain time.
02:11:38.000 I'm going to get to see this one routine quickly and then it's gone.
02:11:44.000 Whether that was a dance scene or a fight scene or whatever.
02:11:48.000 You follow?
02:11:49.000 Um...
02:11:50.000 You can dial up, for example, dial up going down to Argentina, the Nicholas Brothers, okay?
02:11:58.000 This is a flash team from the 30s and the 40s of tap dancing, but gymnastic shit, you know, flying through each other and, you know, this kind of thing.
02:12:07.000 If you knew that movie was coming on at 11 o'clock on Channel 5 on Thursday, that was the only time it was there for two years, and you better make sure you're in front of that TV. To watch it once.
02:12:20.000 Okay?
02:12:20.000 Look up the Hell's a Poppin' Jitterbug scene with...
02:12:24.000 Oh, we've seen this before.
02:12:26.000 Yeah, it's amazing.
02:12:27.000 You dig?
02:12:27.000 I'll talk as the fellas go on here.
02:12:30.000 They're going to break into a dance kind of a thing.
02:12:33.000 If you even knew these guys existed, then, hey...
02:12:38.000 Now, some of the stuff that they're using, you see on the floor there?
02:12:41.000 They salted the floor.
02:12:42.000 That's called billiards chalk.
02:12:44.000 It's not meant for traction, alright?
02:12:46.000 It's meant to do slides and stuff.
02:12:49.000 And it's what you put on your hand to make sure the billiard cue slides through your hand.
02:12:54.000 It makes it slippery.
02:12:56.000 Here you go.
02:12:56.000 Now watch.
02:12:57.000 These guys are the most famous tap dancers in history, arguably, and there's no taps on the bottoms of their shoes.
02:13:04.000 Oh, really?
02:13:05.000 They're just tapping with regular shoes?
02:13:07.000 Yep.
02:13:07.000 Can we hear it?
02:13:08.000 Okay.
02:13:09.000 It's just the band is playing off to the side live, actually.
02:13:13.000 It's not place recorded.
02:13:14.000 Watch how they spin.
02:13:15.000 Watch how they slide.
02:13:17.000 Okay?
02:13:20.000 Yeah, it's very impressive stuff.
02:13:22.000 I mean, just the athleticism involved in this kind of dancing is incredible.
02:13:26.000 It's crazy flexibility.
02:13:28.000 It would come on Channel 13 with Cal Worthington at 2 in the morning, and I would have to position myself, okay?
02:13:37.000 Keep the music going, Jamie.
02:13:39.000 Look up the Berry Brothers cane routine.
02:13:42.000 But look at this guy's movement.
02:13:44.000 That's amazing.
02:13:45.000 Yep.
02:13:46.000 And this is the stuff that I was positioned in when I was a little kid.
02:13:51.000 That is not something you can do with meniscus tears.
02:13:53.000 There you go.
02:13:55.000 Watch.
02:13:56.000 They're going to really start sliding around too.
02:13:59.000 These are the Uptown fellas.
02:14:01.000 Okay?
02:14:02.000 And they go in class.
02:14:04.000 They're always wearing tuxedos.
02:14:06.000 Look at that.
02:14:07.000 Look at that.
02:14:08.000 That is amazing.
02:14:09.000 And when you combine this spirit with rock and roll.
02:14:12.000 No, you don't do these moves in rock.
02:14:14.000 No, that looks like Diamond Dave.
02:14:17.000 They're dropping down to the splits and everything.
02:14:20.000 See how the floor is all slipped up and everything?
02:14:23.000 That's incredible.
02:14:24.000 Oh my god.
02:14:25.000 Okay, it is in this spirit that I've always carried out what I do for a living.
02:14:29.000 I knew about these guys before I was a teenager.
02:14:33.000 Can you dig it?
02:14:34.000 Look at that.
02:14:35.000 That's insane.
02:14:35.000 And it's all done with a smile.
02:14:36.000 It's all done with finesse.
02:14:38.000 And there's no taps on the bottoms of those shoes, huh?
02:14:42.000 See that?
02:14:43.000 See the slide?
02:14:45.000 Boom!
02:14:46.000 I mean, where does one even go to learn that?
02:14:48.000 I can take you exactly where to go to learn it.
02:14:51.000 I learned it from the short one on the left, his protege, Jimmy Z. Can you still do the splits?
02:14:58.000 I can.
02:14:59.000 Wow.
02:15:00.000 That's awesome.
02:15:00.000 Put up the Barry Brothers Kane routine.
02:15:02.000 Now is the downtown hip-hop version of what those guys were doing.
02:15:07.000 And these aren't moves that you do on stage.
02:15:10.000 This is the savvy.
02:15:12.000 See, these guys are more ghetto.
02:15:14.000 These guys are more a little bit rough around the edges.
02:15:17.000 Yo, bam!
02:15:18.000 Bam, homie!
02:15:19.000 Bam!
02:15:19.000 Whack, whack, whack!
02:15:21.000 Look familiar?
02:15:23.000 Soothed.
02:15:23.000 Oh yeah, look at that shit.
02:15:25.000 Savvy.
02:15:26.000 Smokin'.
02:15:26.000 It's got nunchucks.
02:15:27.000 This is the Mike Tyson version of tap dancing.
02:15:30.000 Yo!
02:15:30.000 See how it's got knees and elbows to it?
02:15:32.000 It's not so specific.
02:15:34.000 Like life, dawg!
02:15:35.000 Bah!
02:15:35.000 Boom!
02:15:37.000 Yeah.
02:15:38.000 Wow.
02:15:38.000 Now, which one are you, Joe?
02:15:39.000 What year is this?
02:15:40.000 Are you the Nicholas Brothers or the Berry Brothers?
02:15:42.000 I'm neither one of those.
02:15:44.000 Oh, what is his 40s?
02:15:46.000 1940s?
02:15:46.000 Yeah.
02:15:47.000 30s and 40s.
02:15:48.000 These are flash teams, they're called.
02:15:49.000 Flash teams?
02:15:50.000 Yeah.
02:15:51.000 That's what they would call dancing teams like this?
02:15:52.000 Yeah.
02:15:54.000 What's weird is that this doesn't exist anymore.
02:15:57.000 Not like this.
02:15:58.000 Yeah, right?
02:15:59.000 I mean...
02:16:00.000 And it is in this spirit.
02:16:01.000 You see the difference now between the Barry brothers and Nicholas.
02:16:04.000 Nicholas brothers were educated.
02:16:06.000 They have their elbows up, classy.
02:16:09.000 They're putting that bandana.
02:16:10.000 These guys, these are street corner, dog.
02:16:12.000 Yeah, fuck it.
02:16:13.000 Who cares?
02:16:14.000 It's the spirits that drive.
02:16:15.000 Laugh to win, homie.
02:16:17.000 Whoa!
02:16:18.000 Whoa, that guy did a flying triangle.
02:16:20.000 Oh, you just saw that in your last fight.
02:16:22.000 Look at that.
02:16:24.000 That is wild.
02:16:26.000 Yeah, see, that's street corner.
02:16:29.000 And in that spirit is Van Halen.
02:16:34.000 In this very spirit is laugh to win.
02:16:37.000 In this very spirit is lead with your face.
02:16:40.000 And I've been places with mine you wouldn't go with a loaded pistol.
02:16:45.000 Mm-mm.
02:16:45.000 Nothing but yeah.
02:16:46.000 It is amazing that that art form doesn't exist anymore.
02:16:50.000 Same kind of a thing.
02:16:51.000 And you wonder, where does the drive come from?
02:16:54.000 The Spirit is...
02:16:55.000 I want to learn that.
02:16:57.000 I still do.
02:16:58.000 You still do?
02:16:58.000 Yeah.
02:16:59.000 How are your knees?
02:17:00.000 Great.
02:17:01.000 Really?
02:17:01.000 Oh, yeah.
02:17:02.000 From years and years of stretch and stretch.
02:17:04.000 Stretch and stretch.
02:17:05.000 I can still do all of my stuff, just not as much of it.
02:17:09.000 Oh.
02:17:10.000 You bet.
02:17:11.000 Now, I am not a healthy guy, okay?
02:17:15.000 The best part of yoga is when you're done.
02:17:18.000 You're not healthy?
02:17:20.000 The best part of Pilates is when it's over.
02:17:24.000 The best part of the weight stack is finishing.
02:17:29.000 What do you mean by you're not a healthy guy, though?
02:17:33.000 By nature, no.
02:17:35.000 By nature, I was not raised to healthy food.
02:17:38.000 I was not raised to healthy practices.
02:17:40.000 But I would imagine you eat healthy food now.
02:17:42.000 Yes.
02:17:43.000 So you're healthy.
02:17:44.000 I eat a croco diet, what a crocodile would have, you know, catch a bird, some foliage.
02:17:53.000 What'd you have today, Ray?
02:17:56.000 I caught a chicken.
02:18:00.000 That sounds like a crocodile, right?
02:18:02.000 I would imagine a crocodile would have a similar sounding voice.
02:18:06.000 Yes.
02:18:08.000 But I was raised when McDonald's was special.
02:18:12.000 Going to McDonald's was a special night.
02:18:15.000 That wasn't convenience food.
02:18:16.000 It was like...
02:18:17.000 A rare treat.
02:18:19.000 Yeah.
02:18:19.000 Oh, yeah.
02:18:21.000 What do you eat now?
02:18:23.000 Do you just meat and vegetables?
02:18:26.000 No, I try to stay away from the meat first things, probably about four days out of the week, okay?
02:18:33.000 And it's oatmeal, rice, beans...
02:18:38.000 You know, the usual veg.
02:18:40.000 But I can't go too long without eating meat.
02:18:44.000 About every four days.
02:18:46.000 Why do you try to stay away?
02:18:47.000 Do you try to stay away from it?
02:18:48.000 I gotta keep my weight down.
02:18:50.000 I do everything a little better.
02:18:52.000 It seems slim.
02:18:53.000 Well, I have that gene that Labrador retrievers had where I'm always hungry and I'll eat until I'm sick.
02:19:01.000 That's why Labradors train so well.
02:19:03.000 They've got that C4 gene or whatever it is where they're always hungry.
02:19:07.000 So if you've got a treat, he's going to learn real quick.
02:19:10.000 If I do this, I get another treat.
02:19:12.000 You're working his appetite.
02:19:14.000 I have the same thing.
02:19:15.000 A lot of people do.
02:19:17.000 Where I learned from my parents, try everything, and most of it's going to be pretty good with an open mind.
02:19:27.000 So there's really no kind of food that I have ever had that I haven't enjoyed.
02:19:33.000 But is it meat that makes you put on weight?
02:19:35.000 Yeah.
02:19:36.000 Primarily, it's meat that puts...
02:19:37.000 Yeah, absolutely.
02:19:38.000 It's the fat from the meats and dairy that really sock it to me.
02:19:44.000 Carbs, the beans, the rest of it, no, the weight just comes right off.
02:19:47.000 But the meat really socks it to me.
02:19:50.000 That's interesting.
02:19:51.000 And the fat content is the big deal.
02:19:55.000 I always say that you can't outrun the french fry.
02:19:59.000 You may stay real skinny, but you're still running all that fat through your heart valves.
02:20:06.000 The same thing with red meats of whatever kind.
02:20:09.000 And If we sit down, I'll always be the last one at dinner, I'll always eat the slowest, and I'll eat more than anybody twice my weight.
02:20:19.000 It's just the way I'm wired.
02:20:21.000 So I've really had to, like, buckle into that and be real careful.
02:20:30.000 What I do, I do better if I'm staying tight and ready for flight.
02:20:36.000 I'm still the same size as I was in college.
02:20:38.000 What do you do for exercise?
02:20:39.000 Just riding your bike or other stuff?
02:20:42.000 Depends on what we're doing and where.
02:20:44.000 Do you still do martial arts?
02:20:45.000 Oh yeah, every day.
02:20:46.000 Every day, some element of it.
02:20:50.000 Forms have come in real, real handy.
02:20:53.000 And especially forms with the different swords.
02:21:01.000 Kendo is one division of this.
02:21:03.000 Aido.
02:21:04.000 You can draw that.
02:21:05.000 Aido.
02:21:06.000 A-I-D-O. It's a drawing way, okay?
02:21:09.000 Is easily half the battle here.
02:21:12.000 And that we do with wooden swords.
02:21:17.000 Do it without a sword.
02:21:18.000 Do it with a live blade as well.
02:21:21.000 And...
02:21:22.000 Oh, you know what?
02:21:24.000 On my Instagram...
02:21:26.000 I believe there is a picture in my stories, Instagram stories, David Lee Roth.
02:21:31.000 There's a picture of me with a sword on the stories.
02:21:34.000 You can dial that up.
02:21:36.000 It's forms done with a live blade in this case.
02:21:39.000 And, you know, somebody my age, I'm not taking impact.
02:21:44.000 You're not going to hit me ever again.
02:21:45.000 I'm not throwing punches.
02:21:46.000 I just had an operation on one of my thumbs, you know, that finally gave up on me.
02:21:52.000 You're on my big toe.
02:21:54.000 Just had an operation on my big toe.
02:21:56.000 Operation big toe?
02:21:57.000 This is all from contact.
02:21:58.000 What's wrong with your big toe?
02:21:59.000 Kicking the heavy bag for how many years?
02:22:01.000 Yeah?
02:22:02.000 Yeah, that started it.
02:22:03.000 And then, and then...
02:22:04.000 The toe joint?
02:22:05.000 Uh-huh.
02:22:06.000 Corrosion of the joint or something?
02:22:07.000 Yeah.
02:22:07.000 Would they have done?
02:22:08.000 We call it wearing out the brake pads.
02:22:10.000 Yeah, what'd they do?
02:22:11.000 What do they do for that?
02:22:13.000 Clean it out.
02:22:14.000 Scrape.
02:22:14.000 Scrape and clean.
02:22:15.000 If it's real bad, then you can put in an artificial joint.
02:22:20.000 In your toe.
02:22:21.000 Oh, yeah.
02:22:21.000 Well, you know how important a big toe is.
02:22:24.000 Big.
02:22:24.000 But, you know, after how many years of hitting heavy bag and or light pad work, etc., it's impact.
02:22:32.000 And it may well be impact that you're not designed for, like walking and running, and even walking and running competitively.
02:22:41.000 I mean, did God build us to go, okay, now he's right here to run 100 miles?
02:22:46.000 No, I think not.
02:22:48.000 Yeah.
02:22:50.000 You know, he built us, you know, there you go.
02:22:52.000 Oh, that's my teacher.
02:22:54.000 Is it?
02:22:55.000 Yep.
02:22:56.000 And this is, uh, this is Idaho?
02:22:59.000 That's, uh, no, no, he's, uh...
02:23:02.000 What is he doing with that stick?
02:23:03.000 What form is this?
02:23:04.000 Form of martial art?
02:23:06.000 Um, he's...
02:23:08.000 Let me see what he's actually doing.
02:23:09.000 This is Ido?
02:23:10.000 Okay, this is all the same kind of stuff that you're going to do with your sword.
02:23:14.000 And this is...
02:23:16.000 You know...
02:23:20.000 Yeah, see, he's doing all the same stuff that he's doing with his sword.
02:23:33.000 And the idea behind all these flowery movements is what?
02:23:37.000 Just to get more competent?
02:23:38.000 Cross training.
02:23:38.000 There you are.
02:23:39.000 Cross training.
02:23:40.000 Isometrics, plyometrics.
02:23:42.000 Look at you.
02:23:43.000 You follow?
02:23:44.000 Yeah.
02:23:49.000 Anyways...
02:23:49.000 It's everything that you would do recuperating, for example.
02:23:54.000 Lunges are all included in that.
02:23:57.000 Everything that you might do in your yoga class and in all of that that takes place in the gym is in forms.
02:24:08.000 But forms are something that you're going to get a little better at.
02:24:11.000 If you spend all of your time simply making impact, then you've developed one branch of the martial arts.
02:24:19.000 Actual combat, actual fighting is part of it.
02:24:22.000 Are you going to be doing that when you're 80?
02:24:25.000 I plan on turning 96 like my uncle.
02:24:31.000 There is a slow version of it is Tai Chi, and it's slow because they charge by the hour.
02:24:42.000 The faster it moves, sure.
02:24:45.000 But think of it as cross-training.
02:24:47.000 Is it actual fighting?
02:24:48.000 No.
02:24:49.000 No, I'm more aware.
02:24:50.000 But it is, like, if you have shoulder or, you know, that kind of a thing, it may be because of a repetitive motion.
02:24:59.000 And forms are way more fun to do, way more entertaining and engaging than just, let's do 20 more lunges.
02:25:06.000 Let's do 50 burpees.
02:25:08.000 All of your burpees are included in the forms, but a form is something that you can get better and better at, and you can do it in a very small space without a class, without a teacher, without a bag, without gloves, and without So do you do any striking anymore?
02:25:26.000 Do you hit bags or anything like that anymore?
02:25:27.000 No, I don't.
02:25:28.000 You're done?
02:25:28.000 No.
02:25:29.000 The closest I get to that is with, you know, bow training, a sword, wooden sword, okay?
02:25:37.000 But I'm a result of impact.
02:25:40.000 You know, my thumbs, my feet, my back, etc.
02:25:44.000 I started in 1966. Hitting the heavy bag and kicking the heavy bag and getting, you know, hitting and making contact.
02:25:55.000 And I loved it.
02:25:56.000 And I miss it dearly.
02:25:58.000 Frankly, I'd love to get back out on the mats.
02:26:02.000 Kills me that, you know, I've reached that point now where I can't do it anymore.
02:26:10.000 Yeah, I'm scared to reach that point.
02:26:13.000 That's one of the reasons why I train so hard, to make sure my body is resilient enough so that I can keep training.
02:26:18.000 A lot of maintenance stuff, you know?
02:26:22.000 It's really maintenance.
02:26:24.000 It's like taking care of a boat.
02:26:26.000 Most of it isn't going anywhere.
02:26:28.000 Most of it is taking care of the boat before it goes anywhere.
02:26:34.000 Right?
02:26:35.000 Two hours of maintenance versus one hour of sailing, I think.
02:26:38.000 Probably, yeah.
02:26:40.000 So why keep the weight down?
02:26:42.000 It's easier on my back.
02:26:44.000 Why do I go on the bike?
02:26:45.000 It's easier on me than the weight stack.
02:26:48.000 Why, you know, But you're still jamming, still doing music, and you just released a song.
02:26:58.000 Well, I got a song out.
02:27:00.000 Why put out a record in these days if you're going to have 14 songs, unless you have devout fans?
02:27:08.000 That's great.
02:27:09.000 And when you're flavor of the week for the first two, three times, great.
02:27:12.000 Your fans are devout.
02:27:13.000 You become...
02:27:15.000 It's like a Bible.
02:27:17.000 Oh my God, I'm a Drake fan.
02:27:19.000 I'm going to buy everything that Drake buys, puts out, and consume it as if it were nutrition, right?
02:27:27.000 At my point...
02:27:29.000 Jesus, Paul McCartney puts out 14 songs.
02:27:32.000 The human thing is to pick your favorite and your worst and skip the rest because there's nine other records available right here in my shoe phone.
02:27:40.000 I don't have to go to Canterbury Records anymore, buy one record at a time, go home, sit and listen just to that record.
02:27:49.000 Your wristwatch contains all of the music ever recorded.
02:27:55.000 The new one.
02:27:57.000 The new Series 12 wristwatch contains your iPod.
02:28:02.000 You follow my reasoning.
02:28:04.000 The human condition is, I get it, forget it.
02:28:08.000 It's like monkey.
02:28:09.000 How do you consume music now?
02:28:12.000 Short burst, short dose.
02:28:14.000 If I'm listening to a specific artist...
02:28:17.000 Do you do it digitally?
02:28:18.000 Like, how do you do it?
02:28:19.000 Most of what I do is Sirius XM, okay?
02:28:25.000 And that has a wild diversity to it.
02:28:29.000 Right.
02:28:29.000 So you just pick a channel and just...
02:28:31.000 Oh, yeah.
02:28:31.000 My favorite channels are...
02:28:34.000 Yeah, just about this order.
02:28:37.000 The Bluegrass Channel...
02:28:40.000 Outlaw Country, Hip Hop Nation, Rock the Bells, Groove Channel, then the two BPM and Aria, and then I listen to Fox and MSNBC. You listen to Fox and MSNBC just to get a balanced perspective of propaganda?
02:28:59.000 Oh, you bet.
02:29:00.000 From both sides of the polls.
02:29:01.000 Oh, I've been on Cavuto's show a couple of times, and I agree with Rachel.
02:29:05.000 Yeah.
02:29:07.000 I'm a concern.
02:29:09.000 Well, I think that's probably healthy.
02:29:11.000 Oh, yeah.
02:29:12.000 I get concerned with people that are on one side of the ideology 100%.
02:29:17.000 I don't think that's realistic, and I think it's more in line with tribal thinking than it is with real objective, discerned reasoning.
02:29:27.000 Someone who's really looked at the issues and thought about it from a balanced perspective and really looked at the pros and cons of We're good to go.
02:29:48.000 We're good to go.
02:29:59.000 In the 70s, and they all required a different kind of music.
02:30:02.000 Yeah.
02:30:03.000 Okay?
02:30:03.000 The Van Halens listened to Pomp and Circumstance at their graduation.
02:30:08.000 At my graduation, they played Samba Pati by Santana on something called A Loop in 1972. Hey, that shit's repeating.
02:30:19.000 Somebody better fix the record.
02:30:20.000 No, no, it's supposed to do that essay.
02:30:23.000 A loop was real back then on purpose?
02:30:26.000 Oh yeah!
02:30:27.000 On a record player?
02:30:30.000 How would you do that on a loop?
02:30:32.000 Oh they just put it on a tape with reel to reel and played it.
02:30:38.000 But the Van Halen audience We're good to go.
02:30:58.000 It's Harleys and Ferraris.
02:31:00.000 You've got the whole left-wing contingent of the arts and letters community.
02:31:05.000 What's happening in terms of liberal arts, because you can tell we put a lot of work into everything we did.
02:31:13.000 The genius in Van Halen is in the composition.
02:31:16.000 We did our 10,000 hours before we made our first record.
02:31:21.000 That's old school training.
02:31:22.000 It's closer to martial arts.
02:31:24.000 We never took around a demo tape.
02:31:27.000 We made the assertion that if we're as good as we think we are, we'll get discovered.
02:31:33.000 And if we don't get discovered, it's because we suck.
02:31:35.000 But were there demo tapes back then?
02:31:37.000 People have demo tapes?
02:31:38.000 Oh, sure.
02:31:39.000 Yeah?
02:31:39.000 Oh, you bet.
02:31:40.000 And that was a big thing?
02:31:41.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:42.000 But you made them on a reel-to-reel on a TEAC. When did you guys realize it was happening?
02:31:47.000 Like, when did you really realize, like, holy shit, it's taken off?
02:31:51.000 Right away.
02:31:52.000 Right away.
02:31:53.000 Oh yeah.
02:31:54.000 There was no development period for us.
02:31:56.000 The only thing that remains exactly the same from the beginning of its life, from the beginning to the very end, is a sea urchin.
02:32:08.000 It looks exactly the same.
02:32:11.000 And maybe Bruce Springsteen.
02:32:15.000 You know what?
02:32:16.000 I was listening to Bruce Springsteen the other day.
02:32:17.000 I was listening to I'm on Fire.
02:32:19.000 Imagine playing that song today.
02:32:22.000 Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
02:32:24.000 Did he go and leave you all alone?
02:32:26.000 Mm-hmm.
02:32:27.000 I got a bad desire.
02:32:29.000 I know.
02:32:29.000 And she's 16. She's sweet 16. But that song in particular, that is a crazy song.
02:32:39.000 I heard a cover of it by some country music star who was singing a cover of that, like a recent cover.
02:32:45.000 I'm like, hey man, you probably might not want to sing that fucking song anymore.
02:32:48.000 Senses of humor change.
02:32:50.000 Well, that's not a sense of humor.
02:32:52.000 That's not about humor.
02:32:53.000 It's a weird song.
02:32:55.000 Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
02:32:57.000 Did he go and leave you all alone?
02:32:59.000 Mm-hmm.
02:33:00.000 I got a bad desire.
02:33:02.000 Okay, is that a teenage kid singing to a teenage kid?
02:33:05.000 Because Bruce will tell you I'm a liar.
02:33:07.000 He says it right in the first pages of his autobiography.
02:33:10.000 I don't know what it is.
02:33:11.000 He goes on, I was never a cowboy.
02:33:14.000 I never worked in the steam yards.
02:33:16.000 So if that's a teenager singing to a teenager...
02:33:21.000 That's the way you think as a teenager.
02:33:24.000 A teenager doesn't call other teenagers a little girl.
02:33:27.000 I'm being Alan Dershowitz on behalf of Mr. Springsteen here.
02:33:31.000 I wonder what it is.
02:33:32.000 He was simply emulating the thinking of a mutually aged individual, but you're looking at him as a 70-year-old looking at your daughter, and I would concur.
02:33:41.000 What the fuck?
02:33:42.000 Yeah, I'm looking at him as like a creepy 40-year-old.
02:33:45.000 I'm sorry?
02:33:46.000 I'm looking at it like a creepy 40-year-old talking to an 11-year-old or something.
02:33:50.000 Exactly.
02:33:50.000 Exactly.
02:33:52.000 I'm looking at the worst possible charitable example.
02:33:55.000 You've got to get back to where your streets are full of heroes on a last chance power slide show.
02:34:01.000 I'd love that too.
02:34:03.000 I'm always curious as to why someone writes what they write and where it's coming from and what they're trying to channel.
02:34:12.000 He's got some amazing fucking songs.
02:34:13.000 He becomes the character.
02:34:15.000 I don't do that.
02:34:16.000 He becomes the character.
02:34:18.000 He becomes the soldier who sings Born in the USA. He becomes the kid sitting next to his dad in my brand new used car.
02:34:28.000 I think he might have been the guy singing Brilliant Disguise, though.
02:34:31.000 Because that was right after he got out of a bad divorce.
02:34:34.000 I think that might have been him.
02:34:36.000 But it's a character.
02:34:37.000 For example, in contrast, my songs, lyrically, I wrote all of the lyrics in anything that you sing.
02:34:46.000 To be perfectly honest, it was all run through Alex Van Halen's brain seven times before it was approved.
02:34:53.000 So you have a mutuality here, okay?
02:34:57.000 I saw it coming from professional orchestral training, all right?
02:35:05.000 Two of my mentors on reeds, I played saxophone, were Peter and Pearl Sikofsky, first and second, chair clarinet, and the LA Philharmonic.
02:35:12.000 These are my cousins, okay?
02:35:15.000 And I learned a great deal from them in terms of formative music.
02:35:21.000 Emotional content can be utilized lyrically or melodically if you even know it exists.
02:35:29.000 So for example, we can sing about jumping.
02:35:32.000 I ran down the street and I jumped and my tennis shoes hit the street first and I'm wearing Converse.
02:35:38.000 Okay.
02:35:38.000 Or we can create somehow, lyrically, the feeling of jumping.
02:35:44.000 So when we jump, unless it's in slow motion, jump!
02:35:51.000 That's drinking that purple scissor or whatever.
02:35:54.000 Scissor?
02:35:55.000 If you're drinking scissor, that may be what it feels like to jump.
02:36:00.000 But in fact, now, in your world of MMA, you jump!
02:36:04.000 And that's how we sing it.
02:36:06.000 Now, when we dance, we want to dance all night.
02:36:10.000 So we dance.
02:36:14.000 And you don't have to speak English to understand the subtext of how this works.
02:36:21.000 What is it like to make a song like that and know that it affected millions of people?
02:36:26.000 Millions of people would hear Dance the Night Away.
02:36:28.000 Well, children, what did we do today that's going to benefit the rest of us?
02:36:35.000 We're going to jump, Dad.
02:36:36.000 We're going to dance.
02:36:38.000 And what else are we going to do?
02:36:40.000 These are all verbs, by the way.
02:36:42.000 That's not a coincidence either.
02:36:45.000 Now, in retrospect, I can look back.
02:36:48.000 But, you know, we don't jog.
02:36:51.000 We run.
02:36:53.000 And who are we running with?
02:36:55.000 The devil.
02:36:58.000 Do you follow?
02:36:59.000 So...
02:37:01.000 What is the sound of jogging?
02:37:03.000 Have you ever done road work to accommodate fighting and so forth?
02:37:06.000 It sounds like this.
02:37:11.000 That's endless.
02:37:12.000 So many miles I remember.
02:37:15.000 Years and years I ran and ran and ran.
02:37:19.000 But we need a mean part to that.
02:37:21.000 And it started off mean.
02:37:22.000 Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
02:37:26.000 And I asked, what does it sound like to run?
02:37:28.000 What does it feel like to run?
02:37:30.000 What will you remember if you've run the marathon?
02:37:33.000 You know what you're going to remember?
02:37:35.000 T-t-t.
02:37:40.000 I swear to God.
02:37:43.000 If you're going to Panama, who even fucking knows where that is?
02:37:48.000 But it sounds a lot like, and I've said that 10 million times.
02:37:53.000 Debbie Sierra took me to the prom, put $20 in my pocket, and said, we're going to the prom in high school.
02:38:03.000 And it was right in your head.
02:38:05.000 Do you follow?
02:38:06.000 So how do you feel like Panama?
02:38:08.000 What's tropical?
02:38:09.000 What's exotic?
02:38:10.000 What's a little bit dangerous?
02:38:12.000 I understand what you're trying to convey in your songs, but I'm saying, what does it feel like to know that your songs have impacted millions and millions of people?
02:38:19.000 Like, is it a satisfying feeling?
02:38:21.000 Do you feel like a life well lived?
02:38:24.000 Like, what does it feel like?
02:38:26.000 I feel like we've made a contribution.
02:38:28.000 I think we add it.
02:38:30.000 I feel like, ah, yeah!
02:38:33.000 Contribution is my word.
02:38:36.000 If you have to choose a word, pick a word.
02:38:39.000 What is your word?
02:38:40.000 If we have to put one on your gravestone, what's your word?
02:38:44.000 I don't know.
02:38:45.000 Pick one.
02:38:46.000 I have to think about that for a while.
02:38:47.000 You're on the spot now.
02:38:48.000 Mine's contribution.
02:38:49.000 Yeah, I don't think I would pick a spot.
02:38:51.000 I'd have to think.
02:38:53.000 Contribution.
02:38:54.000 What's yours?
02:38:55.000 I don't know.
02:38:58.000 What is your law?
02:38:59.000 Do you have one?
02:39:02.000 On Thermopylae, where the Spartans gave it up.
02:39:05.000 And remember, they lost that last fight.
02:39:07.000 Yeah.
02:39:08.000 Well, let's not rub that in.
02:39:10.000 There's one of the most famous poems in history.
02:39:13.000 It's only two sentences long.
02:39:14.000 And it's a little sarcastic.
02:39:17.000 It was carved into the wall right after the battle.
02:39:21.000 It says, tell the Spartans.
02:39:26.000 Stranger passing by.
02:39:28.000 Here, obedient to their laws, we lie.
02:39:32.000 It means that's the law.
02:39:34.000 We're forever.
02:39:35.000 And when you have a law or a word, it doesn't matter if you win or lose.
02:39:41.000 This is what I mean by the Jamaican bobsled team.
02:39:43.000 They came in dead last, flipped the sled, and almost killed themselves.
02:39:47.000 And it's the most valuable t-shirt of the entire Olympics.
02:39:51.000 Why?
02:39:52.000 Same spirit.
02:39:54.000 It's not novelty.
02:39:55.000 Because they came back three times and won the Nationals again.
02:39:58.000 Well, it was novelty because, holy shit, Jamaica has a bobsled team.
02:40:03.000 Everybody was fascinated because everybody knows there's no ice in Jamaica.
02:40:08.000 Yes, but they took it dead serious.
02:40:11.000 I interviewed the coach.
02:40:12.000 Of course they did.
02:40:12.000 They're in the Olympics.
02:40:13.000 I interviewed Devin, the coach.
02:40:14.000 He was British SAS. Their strength and training coach was British SAS. He was a no-fuck-around guy.
02:40:23.000 Serious.
02:40:24.000 I was in radio for four and a half months when Stern went.
02:40:27.000 I remember.
02:40:28.000 I remember.
02:40:29.000 What have you been fired from?
02:40:32.000 How fucked was that?
02:40:34.000 What have you ever been fired from?
02:40:36.000 Walmart?
02:40:39.000 Was that devastating?
02:40:40.000 Getting fired from that gig?
02:40:42.000 Are you kidding?
02:40:44.000 What have you been fired from?
02:40:45.000 McDonald's?
02:40:47.000 I got fired from playing too much ethnic music.
02:40:52.000 I got fired for having too much of a view like we're doing right now.
02:40:58.000 Well, the problem was you were taking over a time slot that had been clearly established by arguably the greatest radio broadcaster in the history of the world.
02:41:09.000 I agree with that, and I still agree with it.
02:41:11.000 I listen to Howard regularly.
02:41:12.000 But when you take over that time slot, you can't win.
02:41:16.000 No, no.
02:41:17.000 No one wins.
02:41:18.000 You can't win if they expect you to be the same thing.
02:41:20.000 You should have taken over it after somebody else got fired.
02:41:24.000 My shit, my ratings were going up.
02:41:28.000 The Arbitrons, everything was zooming, man.
02:41:31.000 We were booming.
02:41:32.000 And what they wanted was a repeat thing.
02:41:36.000 Of what Howard was doing, and I just refused to do that.
02:41:39.000 But wait a minute.
02:41:39.000 If your ratings were going up, I thought that's all they care about.
02:41:42.000 Nope.
02:41:43.000 I was untenable.
02:41:45.000 My God.
02:41:46.000 I was playing black music in the background.
02:41:50.000 I was bringing in guests that had nothing to do with rock and roll.
02:41:55.000 What were you supposed to do?
02:41:56.000 Like when they hired you, what did they say to you?
02:41:58.000 Well, what they said was, be yourself.
02:42:01.000 But I think what they expected was a duplication of a hero.
02:42:05.000 And I'm not a duplication.
02:42:07.000 Even when I try to duplicate...
02:42:09.000 But did you have these conversations with them?
02:42:11.000 Where you said, listen, I'm just going to be free.
02:42:13.000 I want to play my own music.
02:42:14.000 What did they expect?
02:42:15.000 Did they expect you were going to do all talking...
02:42:18.000 Yes, and they expected that I was going to duplicate what would have come before because it seems to be a tradition.
02:42:26.000 But you had done Stern a few times.
02:42:28.000 You knew what it was like.
02:42:29.000 Nevertheless, when you put me in charge, it's a lot closer to what we're doing here.
02:42:34.000 Right.
02:42:35.000 And the kind of...
02:42:36.000 Do you know the term wabasabi?
02:42:38.000 It means that which is a little roughed up at the edges.
02:42:42.000 Well, you've done a lot of stuff like this, right?
02:42:44.000 You've done your own version.
02:42:46.000 You were doing your own version of a podcast for a while.
02:42:50.000 Nevertheless, before that show?
02:42:51.000 No, this was 15 years ago.
02:42:53.000 No, but I mean recently.
02:42:54.000 So you have been able to kind of do your own thing, what you actually enjoy doing.
02:42:58.000 Yes.
02:42:59.000 But then there was executives involved.
02:43:01.000 There was a bunch of other people that were poking and prodding.
02:43:04.000 And despite the fact that the ratings were going up, They were still not happy with what you were doing.
02:43:09.000 We were changing audience.
02:43:11.000 I have no problem.
02:43:13.000 I would play Bob Marley.
02:43:15.000 And they would say, you can't play this.
02:43:18.000 You have a rock and roll audience.
02:43:20.000 And I'd go, this is what rock and rollers listen to on vacation.
02:43:25.000 And they'd go, no, no, no serious quote.
02:43:28.000 They would say, no, no, we want you to play Nickelback.
02:43:31.000 What?
02:43:32.000 Yes, yes.
02:43:33.000 These were the two.
02:43:34.000 We want you to play, it was Nickelback and Skinner.
02:43:39.000 And I said, I have news for you.
02:43:41.000 When Leonard Skinner goes to the Bahamas on vacation, They listen to Bob.
02:43:49.000 So was the show music?
02:43:51.000 Bob Marley is the sound of vacation.
02:43:53.000 Was the show music?
02:43:55.000 To rock and rollers.
02:43:56.000 Oh, I was playing background music throughout my talking.
02:43:59.000 Like right now, I would be having...
02:44:03.000 Music congruent in the backgrounds to what we would be discussing.
02:44:06.000 What I'm trying to get at is, how did this show get established?
02:44:10.000 Did you have test shows that you did where they said, I like what you're doing?
02:44:14.000 Did they just let you wing it live?
02:44:17.000 Did they hit the switch at 6 a.m.
02:44:20.000 Monday morning and say, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome David Lee Roth and let you just go wild?
02:44:25.000 Yeah, and I'd have an intro from a Wilson Pickett tune, or I'd loop the musical intro from Cool and the Gang, or I'd loop the musical intro from some Arabian Nights something or other,
02:44:43.000 and no, no, no, no, this is classic rock.
02:44:46.000 We want to stay in the classic rock mode.
02:44:48.000 We want to stay with classic rock type guests in the approach.
02:44:51.000 So that was because Stern on terrestrial radio before he went over to XM Sirius was on a classic rock station.
02:44:58.000 Yes.
02:44:59.000 So they wanted you to do the same thing in the morning.
02:45:02.000 Yeah.
02:45:02.000 But what if you had just talked?
02:45:05.000 Would they have been okay with that or did they want you to play music?
02:45:08.000 Was that established before you started doing it?
02:45:10.000 Even just talking.
02:45:12.000 I'm not...
02:45:15.000 They didn't even like that?
02:45:16.000 Hold on.
02:45:17.000 There are as many people...
02:45:19.000 You either love Roth or you hate him.
02:45:20.000 I'm speaking the third person.
02:45:22.000 Right.
02:45:23.000 You're either entertained or you really have no taste for me.
02:45:30.000 You follow?
02:45:31.000 Like sushi.
02:45:31.000 Isn't what's important though in that business the ratings?
02:45:35.000 That's what's so confusing to me.
02:45:36.000 I don't understand if the ratings were going up.
02:45:38.000 But I was not controllable.
02:45:41.000 My subject matter was not controllable.
02:45:44.000 What was the problem with the subject matter?
02:45:46.000 Exactly what we're talking about here.
02:45:49.000 And I was not afraid to upset people.
02:45:52.000 How did you upset people?
02:45:53.000 Like what kind of subject matter was upsetting?
02:45:56.000 For example, 9-11, okay, the buildings down there, Trade Center, World Trade, the EPA director, Christy, I think, Whitman perhaps, I might be wrong with the name,
02:46:13.000 I'm in error, at the time was declaring, this is 15 summers ago, that it was okay to breathe down there.
02:46:21.000 And I maintained under no circumstances Was it okay to breathe down there, having been involved in some version of healthcare training and so forth?
02:46:34.000 First time I got walked into the hospital, I was eight years old.
02:46:38.000 I remember my father saying, Sybil, it's time he sees what his father really does for a living, and he showed me everything in that hospital.
02:46:46.000 I was a Massachusetts general when he was a resident, okay?
02:46:51.000 And I went on record, and they got calls from the mayor's office to shut up, because I was saying, it is under no circumstances is it safe to breathe down at that site.
02:47:04.000 Everything was incinerated.
02:47:06.000 It's airborne.
02:47:07.000 Our health care workers are in danger.
02:47:11.000 If you're not masked up and gloved up and eyed up, etc., we are endangering our responders.
02:47:16.000 Oh, they didn't want to hear that shit.
02:47:18.000 And the EPA director, whatever, was online saying, no, no, it's breathable, it's safe.
02:47:25.000 Well, today, I was right.
02:47:28.000 You were dead right.
02:47:30.000 Bad choice of word, but maybe it's right.
02:47:33.000 And I was threatened with getting fired, and the mayor's office called, and you're going to cause a big problem and big trouble, et cetera, like that.
02:47:43.000 And I refused to back down.
02:47:44.000 Fuck y'all.
02:47:45.000 A lot of the people that lived in that area.
02:47:46.000 Fuck y'all.
02:47:47.000 That stayed in that area after.
02:47:49.000 Exactly.
02:47:50.000 They got very, very sick.
02:47:51.000 I called it right away.
02:47:53.000 So this was something that you were calling on the air?
02:47:56.000 Yes.
02:47:57.000 And what did they say to you?
02:47:59.000 Shut up.
02:48:01.000 Knock it off.
02:48:02.000 They really said that to you?
02:48:03.000 You're causing big-time problems.
02:48:04.000 They said knock it off.
02:48:05.000 Don't tell the truth about the...
02:48:07.000 It wasn't considered truth.
02:48:08.000 This is just your opinion.
02:48:10.000 You're here for entertainment.
02:48:11.000 You're here to play some music.
02:48:13.000 You're here to talk, keep them light and lively local news, etc.
02:48:18.000 Sounds like they owe you an apology.
02:48:19.000 Well, I took your approach, which is, it was what I was doing then, and you can tell I'm still irate, is much closer to what you're doing here.
02:48:29.000 And I would bring people on who were extreme right-wing and extreme left-wing and extreme everything.
02:48:39.000 And you guys decide.
02:48:41.000 I would have...
02:48:43.000 Well, on the lighter side of things, I would have...
02:48:51.000 Jesus, we had an actual pimp call.
02:48:54.000 Really?
02:48:55.000 Yeah.
02:48:57.000 We had actual prostitutes.
02:48:58.000 I would feel like you want to have the pimp in studio.
02:49:00.000 Call in.
02:49:00.000 You want to see what he's dressed like.
02:49:01.000 No, he's not coming anywhere near us.
02:49:03.000 But?
02:49:04.000 Cetera.
02:49:05.000 I wouldn't hesitate to engage with law enforcement.
02:49:08.000 I put out the call, having the DMT, and say, David Hasselhoff got busted.
02:49:14.000 I know that you're in my listening voice down in Palm Beach, Florida.
02:49:19.000 If you're law enforcement, give us a call.
02:49:21.000 Tell us what happened.
02:49:22.000 Cop called in.
02:49:26.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:49:28.000 Here's what happened.
02:49:31.000 Wait a minute.
02:49:32.000 You follow even having that connection?
02:49:36.000 Right.
02:49:37.000 Well, no, this is drum circle.
02:49:39.000 It's rock and roll, man.
02:49:41.000 This is like, you know...
02:49:42.000 Drum circle?
02:49:42.000 You follow.
02:49:44.000 Peace and...
02:49:45.000 I make the joke, which is peace, love, and heavy weapons.
02:49:49.000 What do you think's protecting the drum circle?
02:49:52.000 And then, of course, my friends or teachers and what in law enforcement make total fun of our showbiz community.
02:50:01.000 Yeah, of course.
02:50:02.000 It's frivolous.
02:50:02.000 Oh, you bunch of sissies.
02:50:04.000 Yeah, very frivolous.
02:50:04.000 That ain't working.
02:50:05.000 That's why they call it play.
02:50:07.000 Time went on.
02:50:09.000 Tensions built, right?
02:50:11.000 On that radio show.
02:50:12.000 Built instantly.
02:50:14.000 Instantly.
02:50:14.000 Yeah.
02:50:15.000 And in reading commercials, of course.
02:50:17.000 I would have fun with that, but...
02:50:21.000 What else?
02:50:21.000 What else was a source of major contention?
02:50:26.000 We would talk about...
02:50:29.000 Oh, I would go long.
02:50:32.000 Okay.
02:50:33.000 Kids, when they go to school, there's a big problem with bling.
02:50:38.000 The kids who can afford bling are getting nice tennis shoes and swatch watches and interesting clothes.
02:50:45.000 And the kids who have no money are dressed like I am right now.
02:50:50.000 And there's a problem with that.
02:50:52.000 If they're both in the same classroom, there occurs a division.
02:50:58.000 I said, why don't we take the martial arts approach?
02:51:01.000 And up until, I don't know, maybe eight years old, everybody wear a gi.
02:51:07.000 So nobody has bling.
02:51:09.000 And everybody shave your head so you're not wearing an $80 haircut.
02:51:13.000 Yeah, I know about that too.
02:51:16.000 There are kids out there with $120 haircuts in Beverly Hills.
02:51:20.000 I can tell the difference.
02:51:22.000 I'm in showbiz.
02:51:24.000 So, if you tell the kids this is the way of it, Everybody kind of looks the same.
02:51:31.000 You're saying this on the radio?
02:51:32.000 Yes.
02:51:32.000 Is that what you're doing?
02:51:33.000 Oh, yeah.
02:51:33.000 So you're telling people to shave their heads and wear a gi?
02:51:35.000 Yeah.
02:51:36.000 How about just do whatever the fuck you want to do?
02:51:38.000 Well, because then there's competition because doing whatever you want to do is informed by your parents.
02:51:43.000 And your parents may be putting bling on you.
02:51:46.000 You may be wearing diamonds to grade school.
02:51:48.000 You may be wearing $120 hair cutting some brand new New Balance where my kid can barely afford some slaps.
02:51:58.000 My kid might be wearing camo, because that's all I can wear, because I can't afford to wash a fucking thing, so it doesn't show the dirt, like I wore when I was a kid.
02:52:08.000 And the bling kid is liable to think they're somehow superior to my kid.
02:52:11.000 So is this an actual conversation, or are you just being poetic now?
02:52:14.000 Did you have this actual conversation on the air?
02:52:16.000 I talked just like this, but I was way rougher.
02:52:18.000 I respect you, Joe.
02:52:19.000 And this show, when you were doing it, then after the show was over, they would pull you aside?
02:52:26.000 Oh yeah.
02:52:27.000 You're pissing parents off.
02:52:28.000 We're getting calls.
02:52:30.000 You can't say that about people's children.
02:52:33.000 They can't deal with these kinds of subjects.
02:52:36.000 The show was obviously live, so they couldn't control you while you were actually on the air.
02:52:39.000 It was great.
02:52:40.000 It was wonderful.
02:52:42.000 Then I suggested, you know, there's combat issues.
02:52:45.000 I would go deep.
02:52:47.000 I would, well, for example, what do you think about my kids' idea?
02:52:51.000 I don't like it.
02:52:53.000 LAUGHTER I don't think anybody should be able to tell people they have to shave their head or wear a gi.
02:52:59.000 No, no, no.
02:52:59.000 It's not telling people.
02:53:00.000 I understand what you're saying.
02:53:01.000 I understand what you're saying.
02:53:03.000 But I think there's benefit and disparity in that it makes kids want to work harder to achieve things.
02:53:10.000 It makes other kids appreciate that they're fortunate they have things that other kids don't.
02:53:15.000 There's a balance.
02:53:17.000 I think what's more important than anything is compassion.
02:53:19.000 And there's always going to be people that have more, and there's always going to be people that have less.
02:53:24.000 The real problem is when that becomes everything, when that becomes your defining characteristic, when that becomes your personality, when that becomes the thing that everyone's aspiring to.
02:53:34.000 I agree.
02:53:35.000 I guess what this harkens back to is the specific episode of The Little Rascals.
02:53:41.000 When the rich kid next door has a very expensive soapbox racer made of metal that's painted red.
02:53:47.000 And Darla mistakenly falls in love with him because of his possessions.
02:53:52.000 And Spanky, Buck, and Alfalfa have to build their shitty little soapbox racer out of spare parts.
02:54:00.000 I kind of vaguely remember that episode.
02:54:03.000 Now that you're saying that.
02:54:05.000 So there's competition.
02:54:09.000 There's competition.
02:54:10.000 But they won.
02:54:12.000 Well, that was by accident because, if you remember, Buckwheat tries to hit the stick to do the brakes and it breaks off.
02:54:21.000 And Spanky says to him, hit the brakes, and he goes, brakes is gone.
02:54:25.000 We freewheeling.
02:54:27.000 And they just happen to win.
02:54:28.000 Yeah, but they won.
02:54:30.000 But the whole idea is the overcoming adversity, the ingenuity, the whole creativity.
02:54:34.000 The whole idea is fuck you and your little fire engine.
02:54:39.000 Fuck you and your little store-bought fire engine.
02:54:41.000 Get your mind right.
02:54:43.000 Get it together, Darla.
02:54:44.000 It's all about spirit, drive, personality, whimsicalness, and sense of humor here.
02:54:51.000 Yes.
02:54:51.000 Okay, so do I really think all little kids should shave their heads?
02:54:55.000 No.
02:54:57.000 Do I think all little kids should be in gis?
02:54:59.000 I had a ball in karate class, and then in judo class, and then in taekwondo class, and everybody was even.
02:55:07.000 Everybody was the same.
02:55:08.000 And in the times when my pop was just getting started in medicine and we didn't have money in the house, I was equal to the kids from La Cunada when I was in my gi.
02:55:21.000 And now that I am a millionaire several times over, When I was in kindle class, then the kid who has nothing.
02:55:32.000 I'm no better than him.
02:55:34.000 My gi looks way older.
02:55:36.000 It's a distinction.
02:55:37.000 It's got a lot of miles on it, and you got a ways to go, kid.
02:55:41.000 That's the subtext.
02:55:43.000 There's no belt there.
02:55:45.000 We're wearing the same thing.
02:55:48.000 Yeah, well I think there's definitely a benefit in kids learning martial arts for sure.
02:55:52.000 And learning martial arts in the same uniform, there's a real benefit in that too because you realize it's not about the uniform, it's not about what you look like, it's about getting things done.
02:56:01.000 Then as you learn and grow and become more accomplished, then you receive these belts.
02:56:08.000 And so then you have goal attainment.
02:56:11.000 And goal attainment is an amazing thing for kids, an amazing thing for adults.
02:56:16.000 There's a real benefit in knowing that you put in the hard work and now there's something that signifies it.
02:56:21.000 Oh my god, I have a blue belt.
02:56:22.000 And they tie that blue belt around your waist and you're not a white belt anymore and you feel proud.
02:56:27.000 You put that thing on and you feel like, I have done work.
02:56:30.000 And then it elevates your perspective in terms of the way you look at yourself and you look at your abilities.
02:56:35.000 It gives you more confidence.
02:56:37.000 And it also gives you this goal, one day I want to be a black belt.
02:56:40.000 And you just think about it like one day I'm going to attain a rank of proficiency where I'm going to be someone who's actually, to whatever level, mastered a very specific style of martial art that's incredibly difficult to learn.
02:56:55.000 And that's good for everybody.
02:56:56.000 You apply that now to the arts that we do for a living.
02:57:00.000 McCartney can't get through an interview without telling you about his six years in the red light district in Germany.
02:57:07.000 He wears it like a general's badge.
02:57:11.000 Can you dig it?
02:57:12.000 He's proud of it.
02:57:14.000 Alex Van Eelen and I, same thing.
02:57:15.000 We put in five years compared to year three.
02:57:19.000 The average is two and a half, maybe.
02:57:21.000 Just constantly jamming, doing multiple shows, constantly.
02:57:25.000 Isn't that...
02:57:25.000 It's detailed in the book The Outliers, right?
02:57:29.000 Is it The Outliers?
02:57:30.000 I think it is.
02:57:31.000 There's a book...
02:57:32.000 Outliers.
02:57:33.000 Yeah.
02:57:33.000 They talk about how when the Beatles emerged, people don't realize they had so many hours of playing, and it's one of the reasons why they're so good.
02:57:43.000 They were playing so often, constantly.
02:57:46.000 It is...
02:57:48.000 Really hardcore training, and that's when you build who you are.
02:57:52.000 That's where you develop your ingredients.
02:57:55.000 When I was coming up in music, that was the regular because there were bands at every club.
02:58:03.000 Every bar had to have a live band.
02:58:05.000 To afford the speakers and the turntable and the music, you had to have a live band.
02:58:12.000 And you would tear off the left-hand side of the billboard chart and learn it.
02:58:19.000 Alex and I went through a list just recently that we found of 120 songs that we could play at the drop of a hat by everybody you could imagine.
02:58:33.000 From Smoke on the Water to Get Down Tonight.
02:58:37.000 That's where we learned to sing.
02:58:39.000 Get down tonight.
02:58:40.000 Get down tonight.
02:58:42.000 We didn't have a keyboard, so you better sing.
02:58:44.000 You better sing a cover off that fucking ball.
02:58:46.000 That's why Mike Anthony...
02:58:49.000 Was so unique.
02:58:50.000 His bass playing?
02:58:51.000 Yeah, we could find bass players.
02:58:52.000 But nobody sounds like that.
02:58:54.000 That's Garfunkel.
02:58:56.000 Simon's good.
02:58:57.000 But Simon and Garfunkel.
02:58:59.000 Where do you think you built that?
02:59:02.000 Thousands and thousands of vocal training hours.
02:59:05.000 So that when Mike and I sing, you recognize it like Hendrix's guitar.
02:59:11.000 You may never have heard the song before and you go, that's Hendrix.
02:59:14.000 Signature sound.
02:59:16.000 Like Rod Stewart's voice.
02:59:18.000 You may never have heard the song before.
02:59:19.000 You go, that's right.
02:59:20.000 Yeah, it is.
02:59:22.000 And in our backgrounds, like Motown, that only comes from thousands of hours.
02:59:30.000 Where do you learn to have the temetry to stick with that?
02:59:33.000 I learned it at the dojo.
02:59:35.000 I learned it in my first singing lessons.
02:59:39.000 You dig it?
02:59:40.000 My first singing coach Jesus, that was also my first real experience with tattoos.
02:59:45.000 We started off talking about tattoos.
02:59:47.000 My first singing coach had two tattoos.
02:59:51.000 He had a number right here, and he had another number right there.
02:59:59.000 And he would say at least once a year, this is my camp number, and this is the number why I was still alive.
03:00:11.000 He played piano and he sang in Auschwitz.
03:00:14.000 Jesus.
03:00:14.000 He was there for three years.
03:00:18.000 Kurt Blumenthal, okay?
03:00:21.000 And he used to tell me, Mr. Roth, sing as if your life depended on it.
03:00:32.000 Can you imagine a gig where one bad review literally puts you up the chimneys?
03:00:37.000 And that was another expression he would use.
03:00:41.000 It's in the music.
03:00:43.000 It's in my voice.
03:00:45.000 It's in every Van Halen song you hear.
03:00:49.000 Mr. Van Halen taught it to his sons.
03:00:52.000 Jan Van Halen and I were very good friends.
03:00:56.000 And he would tell his sons about when the bombing would start, and they would all move into the subway tunnels, and he would play saxophone for everybody hiding during World War II. Every time I sing,
03:01:17.000 I sing as if my life depended on it.
03:01:22.000 Does that make sense?
03:01:23.000 It does.
03:01:24.000 I think there's a good way to wrap this up.
03:01:26.000 That's a perfect way to wrap it up.
03:01:28.000 Dave, it's always a pleasure, my friend.
03:01:30.000 More than ever, Joe.
03:01:31.000 It is.
03:01:32.000 More than ever.
03:01:33.000 Thank you very much.
03:01:34.000 Bye, everybody.