Eliza Schlesinger joins Jemele to talk about her new movie, The Office, and why she hates being called by her first name. She also talks about how she got her last name wrong, and how she's never been called by anyone else's last name. Plus, she explains why she doesn't like being called "Eliza" and why it's a weird thing to call someone else's by their first name, even if it's not their real name. Also, she talks about the time she ate mushrooms at a stand-up comedy show and how that's not a bad thing at all. And she also explains why you should never be called by your first name unless it's Joe Rogan. Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink Co., and to our patron, Eliza! Thank you so much to Eliza for coming on the pod, and thank you for being a part of the pod! This episode was produced and edited by Riley Bray and Alex Blumberg. Please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and subscribe to our podcast! We're listening to Gimlet Media, and we'll be listening to your favorite podcasters on the airwaves starting next Monday. Thank you for listening and sharing the pod on social media! . Cheers, Elyssa and Jonny! Jonny and Sarah! -Jon and Sarah - Sarah and Sarah - - Jonny & Sarah & Jonny - Sarah & Sarah - Thank you, Jonny is a friend of yours? Jon and Sarah and Jon is a good friend of Jonny loves you? - Sarah is a great friend of his work, too? Jon & Jon is an old friend of mine and he's a good guy. Jon is also a good human being. - Joe is a musician, too, Jon is so much more than Jon and he does a good person, too good of a good enough to help me out of this podcast, so thank you, too much he's good enough, so much so you should listen to this podcast too much so much of this is so good and he also does a lot of good stuff, so good, he's so much good, so please send us out and you're a lot more than that's cool, he s a good thing, so thanks you're cool, Jonie is a nice guy too good, good enough.
00:00:49.000People always say it wrong, and then when they spell it, yes, there should be a C in it, but there isn't.
00:00:55.000But they'll go to spell it, and they always add a C. I'm like, weird that you don't understand anything else, but you have a firm grasp on German phonetics.
00:01:02.000Everybody knows there should be a C, no matter how smart or stupid they are.
00:02:40.000It's a very familiar, people do it, it's a very jocular, like, we go by last names, and because mine's so long, no one's ever called me by that.
00:02:49.000If I meet you, I'm calling you by your first name.
00:03:50.000And I was like, this is an hour podcast.
00:03:53.000Yeah, I don't know if it's the best for the quality of the podcast, but for the actual freak show aspect of the experience, it's off the charts.
00:04:00.000I drank one, I had like half a drink, I played Hollywood Game Night once, and I was like a little weird on camera, and I was like, we're never doing it again.
00:04:08.000It's like that show, it's from Jane Lynch, it's like on...
00:04:11.000I think it's ABC. It's like celebrities come and they play games for charity and they have liquor there because they're hoping you'll get drunk and like do something and I had one and I was like my eyes are like you don't want that captured on camera.
00:04:23.000Yeah, actually being drunk unless it's for like world star.
00:04:26.000Yeah, there's not like how many people have shows where you have to drink on their show.
00:04:32.000I don't think you ever have to, but I think it's always, executives always have this thing, they're like, let's set it up like it's just a hang.
00:04:50.000The other thing about those things is like whenever they do try to set up those fake intimate things There's always a bunch of people moving around in the background and you gotta go.
00:04:58.000Hey, you gotta sit still like you can't just have a conversation like they do they do these things that like I did Bill Simmons podcast and I did it when it was on HBO and I was like, why do you have so many people working for you?
00:08:59.000Like a monologue I had written about what we were going through.
00:09:02.000And it became a thing I did every week.
00:09:04.000And then I took that when I got to L.A. And somebody said, do you want like five minutes at Room 5, which is a bar that doesn't exist above a restaurant that doesn't exist anymore.
00:09:13.000And I just started doing stand-up there.
00:09:18.000That was probably like, I graduated college like, 2005. Because I had been doing, I did comedy for three years before it like all took off.
00:10:40.000I think of you, I think of seeing you in the hallway, like behind the OR, and I think of you as not wanting people to bug you so you're in that back bar.
00:10:50.000You're the only comic that probably truly needs to utilize the back area because people are coming up to you so much that you're like, I just need a minute.
00:11:00.000Well, people come up to you with projects.
00:13:34.000But the thing is, like, going back to the idea of having a bunch of executives and people around, when their job is dependent upon you not doing anything stupid...
00:13:43.000They're going to keep you from doing what you really want to do.
00:13:46.000Well, everything becomes so watered down.
00:13:49.000And look, there's a place for it and there's for sure an audience for it.
00:13:52.000But let's not forget, like, there's executives and then there's the artists.
00:13:56.000And sometimes your goal is to make art or express yourself or be yourself versus, like, I just want to say these lines and collect a check.
00:14:32.000So, in a perfect world, we carve out a space for ourselves where it's expected that we be ourselves.
00:14:38.000Yeah, and the problem with television has always been that there's a bunch of people whose jobs depend on you, and it's their sort of goal to make sure that you don't go too far.
00:14:48.000Because if you go too far, you say something too crazy, or you say something that's going to piss people off, the show could get canceled, and then they're all out of a job, and then they're mad at you.
00:15:34.000There's just you and an audience and you got a mic and you're talking shit and you're just saying crazy stuff and it's all, you're producing it, you're directing it, you're writing it.
00:18:32.000You just can't let assholes overrun shows.
00:18:34.000And most of the time it's not the case.
00:18:36.000But the one time when the guy threw a drink at me, that was one of the two times, that was a guy who just had taken over the show.
00:18:43.000Him and his two sons, they were just drunk assholes and they had taken over the show.
00:18:47.000And you as a comic, you're like, at least I feel this responsibility to, not at a comic, I mean, at your own show, I feel a responsibility to the people who paid, in some cases, a lot of money for this experience.
00:19:47.000Some idiot on Mulholland hit a pole, which I can't believe this doesn't happen more often because the brilliant people of our neighborhood voted to remove a stop sign.
00:20:33.000He could hear it the whole time, and you're like, oh.
00:20:35.000You could hear his generator going, and he's an asshole?
00:20:38.000He's not, I don't know if he's just, not cool is the word.
00:20:41.000I don't know if he's an asshole, but I didn't think he'd, I don't know him well enough to be like, can I sell me your power for my curling iron?
00:21:13.000And you're losing most of your money to taxes.
00:21:14.000And you're living in multi-million dollar houses.
00:21:17.000And the phone lines, the power lines are from the 50s.
00:21:21.000I saw a picture of Kim Kardashian the other day and she's posing in her outfit in front of like a Maserati but behind her is like archaic electrical work because that's what we put up with you got a four million dollar house and there's just spider wires coming out the top like that's not a fire hazard and we all it's just normal to us that like none of the cables run underground yeah it's true it's what you put up with you're like well it's LA Some places have cables that run underground.
00:21:54.000You didn't have to stare at those fucking poles and those lines overhead everywhere.
00:21:57.000Connecting all of our houses, running across.
00:21:59.000When I grew up, you'd have streets and there's trees and now there's just cables that run across in nice neighborhoods and nobody questions it.
00:22:07.000You ever see what happens when people let those Mylar balloons go and they run into the power lines and it blows out the whole neighborhood?
00:23:12.000There's no moisture in the air, which is great if your hair curls, but I remember we were looking at houses, and we saw this house, and it's all green, there's bushes, and my husband was like, it doesn't look like this most of the year.
00:24:36.000And I do feel bad and it's awful, but there does come a point where you're just like, when can we address this and have a productive conversation?
00:24:43.000They don't have a solution and they keep throwing money on it and it keeps getting worse.
00:24:47.000And the way a friend of mine said it, he said it really, it's really wise.
00:25:52.000Well, you know, that's something that we, you know, we talk about your local elected officials and I want these solutions and we do need Better housing and lower income housing.
00:26:04.000We do need solutions for regular people and people who do need help.
00:26:09.000But it is that thing where what about when you work really hard and you buy something because you want to live somewhere nice and then they put up You know, something next to you that...
00:26:19.000It's not about poor people as much as just...
00:26:23.000Or like a very hilly area, like Laurel Canyon, where it's already hard to get out, and they're going to put more there.
00:26:29.000So you think about fire plans and escapes and things like that, and it's just...
00:26:34.000You're like, what about what I agreed to purchase and the vision for that?
00:26:38.000And so there has to be a kind solution, and there has to be a way to talk about this without canceling people for being nervous.
00:26:45.000Yeah, well, it's people that it doesn't affect that they take that opportunity to virtue signal.
00:26:51.000They take that opportunity to let you know how terrible you are to not be accommodating to the unhoused.
00:26:58.000No matter what else you do in your life, you're a really bad person.
00:27:02.000Our society is all about like a flash of a moment of a person and they'll kill you and they'll rake you over the coals and you're like, really?
00:27:09.000Because my whole life has been about charity.
00:27:11.000They're like, well, one time you passed someone who needed something.
00:27:16.000I have a friend who lives in the Upper West Side in New York, and they put a bunch of homeless people into a hotel up there and said, it is a fucking steaming disaster instantaneously.
00:27:26.000He goes, you just got people shitting on the street in front of the place, shooting up right there on the street.
00:27:33.000And he's like, instantaneously the street changed.
00:27:36.000And now people are just moving out and trying to...
00:27:38.000Find people to buy their place and just trying to get the fuck out of there and trying to figure out what to do about it.
00:27:44.000And even as I'm sitting here, I'm like, oh God, the DMs I'm going to get from people who also don't live in a city like Los Angeles.
00:27:50.000You know, you can have this cognitive dissonance of having compassion and wanting to solve something and also wanting to address it and have your own opinion about it.
00:27:59.000Or you could do what I did and just flee.
00:28:42.000I believe there are echelons of success and when people...
00:28:47.000So like you picked up and you moved, right?
00:28:49.000You made so much money from, you know, your deal and you rightfully want to keep a lot of that because of taxes and I totally get that.
00:28:57.000But especially when you have a podcast and when you are in control, like you can do UFC, you do the podcast and then you set a third thing.
00:29:50.000What I give up by living there, I get back in meeting a producer at a restaurant, taking that meeting in person, having that audition in person.
00:30:00.000So you can get to a place where you go, but there's a group that's still in that fight and haven't gotten to that next level.
00:30:08.000And then there's the people below that that are like, you weren't having much success, so you decided to leave.
00:30:14.000But I can think of a comic off the top of my head who was like, I'm going to leave LA, I'll come back whenever, but I'm going to do my podcast from like a remote location.
00:30:22.000And you lose the connection to Hollywood.
00:30:28.000If you want to do that, if you want to act and you want to do that, especially acting, that's the spot to be for sure.
00:30:35.000Only just to be in it, not to get complacent.
00:30:38.000Yes, if you're someone like a Tom Segura or a Sebastian, I guess I could do it too.
00:30:43.000You could live somewhere else because you're touring so much, right?
00:30:46.000But if you're not at this level where you're playing these theaters and you're making all this money...
00:30:53.000You want to be somewhere where you have access to as many opinions as possible and you're performing like the comedy store is great because you have a different audience every night from all over.
00:31:01.000And so I think people don't want to admit that and they want this easy life of oh I've moved to Austin which is fantastic but it's not the same grind.
00:31:09.000And these cities New York and LA produce entertainment because of that hustle.
00:31:14.000And it doesn't mean you can't hustle elsewhere but you have to be very clear about what it is you want to get out of this career.
00:31:19.000Yeah, if you're trying to do acting, there's really one place to live.
00:31:22.000I mean, maybe you can kind of live in New York.
00:31:25.000You could get bit parts, but there's nothing to be said for hand-to-hand combat of meeting a director, meeting other actors, and being in the thick of it.
00:31:34.000And you sacrifice having your kids grow up around normal people and not having a headache all the time by living in L.A. The thing about this place as opposed to LA though, for stand-up, if someone wants to be a real stand-up comic, you could do it here.
00:31:49.000And you could do it here, I think, in a better way because you're not connected to the system.
00:31:52.000The problem with being connected to the system is there's a lot of actors that are also doing stand-up or stand-up who are also acting and they kind of...
00:32:00.000Morph their personality to the fit woke Hollywood, you know, and there's there's a concern saying certain things on stage is a concern with your ability to express yourself freely I There's always going to be actors who dabble.
00:32:17.000And there's always going to be people who decide to do stand-up later or take it as like a third career.
00:32:23.000I think it depends on what you want to get out of this.
00:32:27.000Some people do stand-up as a stepping stone, but I don't agree with you because the market dictates.
00:32:33.000You could be saying whatever you want out here and it just doesn't fly in several other states.
00:32:38.000You can find your audience and if you can create a living, then it doesn't matter.
00:32:42.000But whether your goal is to be discovered as an actor or to have your don't tread on me freedom of speech, at the end of the day, if people buy your tickets, then you win.
00:32:51.000What I'm saying is that you can be connected to a different industry out here.
00:33:40.000But I think for comics today, the focus should be on podcasts and stand-up.
00:33:44.000I mean, doing a television show, if that's your thing...
00:33:47.000But if you want the best promotional vehicle for you, I think it's podcast.
00:33:51.000When you look at what Tom and Christina have been able to do with your mom's house, what Kreischer's been able to do, what Whitney's been able to do, what all these different people that have successful podcasts and it's sort of accelerated their stand-up comedy outside of the podcast, I think it's the best promotional vehicle for comics.
00:34:07.000You're literally citing four people because I think it works.
00:34:52.000No, there are, well, there's so many names that we could throw out there where I'm like, yeah, you got that podcast and you spend time on that, but you probably should spend more time on crafting actual jokes because at the end of the day, what you want are ticket sales.
00:40:37.000I don't want anyone to feel bad for the way they believe unless you're a horrible person.
00:40:41.000But I like having a meeting of the minds at the shows where nobody feels bad for who they are while still pointing out what's wrong with everyone.
00:41:11.000So you made a movie about the story that you told on the podcast about a guy who pretended that he was from Yale and then you found out later in your relationship that he was not and he was completely full of shit.
00:41:23.000Yeah, I told that story on your podcast a couple years ago, and I was trying to think if that was the first time I'd ever been on your podcast in this iteration, like as the huge Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
00:41:34.000I couldn't remember if I'd been on it before, prior to that.
00:43:15.000I was just, my family, some of them were on the East Coast, and I, my big thing as a, like, I always, my whole career, I spend the money on the travel.
00:45:37.000I have plenty of friends who are successful at things other than stand-up.
00:45:41.000My point was that if he just was himself, and he just said, I'm working at a hedge fund, and was the same guy, just as funny, he'd probably like him.
00:48:02.000I'm not afraid of my physical safety, but in terms of messaging, I think that's a little like, I don't like you, but I'll get drunk and hang out in your room.
00:50:44.000And we only talked for like a half hour, you know, and I remember at the time thinking like, oh, this is a guy that I really like and I, if she's gonna die, I want her to know that her son is with someone who's kind.
00:51:14.000He's an insane person, but also the story is so insane and you so have to tread lightly as a woman because people find fault no matter what you do.
00:51:22.000Like I remember someone saying like, well, you're a gold digger and I was like, how's that now?
00:51:27.000Like I've made a bunch of my own money since I was like 25. You can't pay attention to that.
00:51:31.000No, but it opened my eyes up to the perception just of when you tell a story that's so honest, the feedback that you get and you're like, okay, let me control this narrative.
00:51:43.000So that's why in the movie she's not some struggle.
00:51:47.000I put her as like a mostly successful to show like this doesn't like she needed anything.
00:52:53.000I'm just saying, you know, men who don't want to be sensitive or don't want to cry or are afraid to show vulnerability because we have this, like, macho archetype.
00:53:01.000Most women don't actually expect that.
00:53:03.000And they want you to be yourself and open up and...
00:53:06.000But we do, just as we put things on women, we do put things on men.
00:53:09.000And we don't have conversations about that.
00:53:11.000The difference is, men don't realize, like, all you gotta do is go out.
00:56:19.000We have a construction at our house and so people were parked in the driveway and I drove out over the sidewalk thinking I was on the driveway.
00:56:59.000It doesn't, you know, and I... The kids I grew up with, a lot of them are doctors and lawyers, so it's not like I came from bad circumstances and no one I know is successful.
00:57:10.000It is kind of interesting that you have made all this money and you've done so well and yet you still drive that shitty fucking car.
01:01:53.000I'm telling you, there's a couple of them around.
01:01:55.000Okay, now I've got to watch The Vow to get a full perspective.
01:01:58.000Yeah, you want to make sure you're balanced in your cult viewing.
01:02:01.000But the guy, Richard, whatever his name was, that ran it, not dissimilar to the main character in that you just lie, and you're charming, And you get people to believe you.
01:02:13.000There's a documentary about a cult that was out here called Holy Hell that I watched.
01:02:24.000This guy was giving these men in the cult, straight men, air quotes, therapy, and then he would charge them money, he would charge them like 50 bucks, and he would fuck them.
01:02:47.000And then on top of that, I guess they were giving him money.
01:02:51.000Because in this one, same thing, and no spoilers, but the main girl, when she's narrating this, she was like, the guy in charge, you know, you'd have to work through things.
01:03:00.000Like in Scientology, you're always like working through what's blocking you.
01:03:03.000She was not attracted to him, but he would like go down on her and he'd be like, if this is bothering you, you've got to work through it.
01:03:10.000Like he would have sex with her, like if you're hating this.
01:04:24.000Yeah, but it's one of those things like...
01:04:28.000My point is, what's the difference between someone like that, who gets a bunch of people to give him money and has a cult and gives guys therapy and fucks them, versus someone like some midnight evangelist type character?
01:06:14.000And I think about, in my own movie, when I told a story on your show and then subsequently telling it, and it happened today because the movie came out today, the amount of people who reach out and they're like, that happened to me.
01:07:16.000I do think it's harder for men to get sympathy from things because men are supposed to be physically superior and in charge and smart and there's a little bit of a like, well, screw you back.
01:07:40.000Also, those guys are probably embarrassed, but I think about sexual harassment.
01:07:44.000Because women are physically smaller than men for the most part, although I could probably beat up that samurai mannequin, because men are physically dominant, the inherent threat is there.
01:07:54.000When I go out to my car, when I'm on a date, even sitting here right now, if you wanted to kill me, you could.
01:08:02.000If your producer wanted to, just because you're bigger.
01:09:29.000The thing is really, like, say if you're a woman and you're in an office and you're trying to move your way up the corporate ladder, and your boss is just a little touchy, a little gross.
01:09:57.000That's when you've hurt a man's hubris.
01:10:00.000That's how you get, well, you're a fat bitch anyway.
01:10:02.000You know, like the anger, the ire that you elicit.
01:10:06.000When that happens and it's so scary and so it's always like oh the girl's crazy and she must be getting revenge and all this and it's like but look what happens.
01:10:14.000No, the difference between men and women is so stark in how many men murder women versus how many women murder men.
01:11:57.000Texas Penal Code Chapter 19 concerning criminal homicide holds that such sudden passion, in quotes, means passion directly caused by and arising out of provocation by the individual killed or another acting with the person killed which passion arises at the time of the offense and is not solely result of a former provocation.
01:12:20.000Yeah, but now you have to define provocation.
01:12:24.000The law also holds that such passion must be due to, in quotes, adequate cause.
01:12:31.000This means, in quotes, a cause that would commonly produce a degree of anger, rage, resentment, or terror in a person of ordinary temper, sufficient to render the mind incapable of cool reflection.
01:12:43.000Who's going to give that character study?
01:12:48.000Texas murder laws state further that at punishment stage of a trial, the defendant must raise the issues as to whether he caused the death under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause.
01:13:03.000If the defendant proves the issue in the affirmative by a preponderance of the evidence, the offense is a felony of the second degree.
01:13:11.000So if he thought about it first, it's a second degree.
01:13:19.000On the other hand, if a murder is planned or premeditated, such an offense in Texas is far worse crime, which is known as a felony of the first degree.
01:13:31.000One means, meaning if it happened in the moment, and you can prove that you're normally a cool guy, and you can prove that this is, you go on Family Feud, you're like, show me...
01:13:42.000And if enough people agree that that's a reason that would upset people and you're normally cool as a cucumber, you can get away with that murder.
01:15:36.000Did the gates just open up and then you realize, oh my god, I'm with a sociopath?
01:15:40.000Here's the God's honest truth, and this is not in the movie because there's just too much to cover and you have to just hit certain story beats.
01:15:48.000I was doing a pre-interview for something and I was like, I think my mom will remember this.
01:16:14.000So I talked to her recently about this.
01:16:18.000She would tell you, we could also call her, but she would tell you that certain things seem to not add up.
01:16:24.000He's a young guy, but he says he belongs to Skull and Bones, which she thought was odd, because George Bush, serious people belong to this.
01:17:51.000We haven't had a Dennis Kelly, and it was like a Dennis L. Kelly or something, and it was the wrong initial, who graduated in like 1985. So part of me is like...
01:18:00.000This information is so insane to get, there's no way to synthesize it.
01:19:25.000And he, like, didn't want to talk about it.
01:19:27.000And he finally, like, you know, we met up and he was like, my mother is undergoing, like, serious chemotherapy, like cancer treatment at UCLA. And she is staying at my house.
01:19:37.000And I was such a horrible son to her when my dad was dying.
01:19:41.000I know I was never home and I wasn't there for her.
01:19:44.000And this is what I'm doing to give back.
01:19:53.000And because he claimed to have come from so much money, to me, my first thought was, oh my god, I don't want to disturb your mother who's dying.
01:24:14.000And I was like, also gauge if she, like, is in on it or whatever.
01:24:18.000And the woman said, well, you know, Eliza's a failed actress with a drug problem and Dennis always tries to be kind to women and I think he's been trying to let her down gently.
01:27:47.000They knew these fucking things didn't work.
01:27:49.000That's the conspiracy of just when a whole company knows something.
01:27:55.000Whether it's chemicals in your water or drugs or how efficacious a treatment is when you know it isn't and you still do this to people who are trusting you.
01:28:08.000And I believe absolute power corrupts absolutely.
01:28:11.000And it's really no different than someone who, you know, takes advantage sexually of their employees or people that, you know, things like that.
01:28:17.000Like, when no one's telling you no, and you stand to gain a lot from it.
01:28:22.000Yeah, but there's so many wild stories of con artists that get pretty deep.
01:28:33.000It's like on MSNBC. I watch it on the road.
01:28:36.000It's a show that profiles con artists, like people who do big, multi-million dollar pyramid schemes, all having to do with business and stocks and enterprise.
01:29:08.000He got a lot of, like, super wealthy people.
01:29:10.000When that happened, just as a Jew, we were all just, like...
01:29:16.000When you are of a minority and one of your minority does the thing that people already think you do and the rest of you don't, we turn our backs on you're just like, no!
01:29:38.000Yeah, there's more of you and the stakes aren't as high.
01:29:41.000But yeah, it's always that thing where you're like, don't prove the stereotype.
01:29:45.000Yeah, Ari and I always have the funniest conversations about Italians because it's like the one minority that I can absolutely mock because I'm one of them.
01:30:52.000When you go to Italy, and you see how they've mastered it, and then they come here, they're like, yeah, it's a quart of sugar, and a bunch of baked noodles, and it's at a hot buffet at a Sbarro.
01:31:03.000You are exaggerating and stereotyping to a great degree, and I will not tolerate it.
01:31:08.000There's some amazing- No, it's very funny.
01:31:10.000There's some amazing Italian food in the East Coast.
01:31:13.000I'm talking about Italian- American food.
01:31:14.000Sure, it's tasty, but it's a far cry from actual Italian food.
01:31:31.000Everything here, you know, of course you can buy nice things, but, like, we have so many people, everything's so mass-produced, and they don't have it like that in other countries.
01:32:33.000You know, and so people, like, health code is there.
01:32:36.000Like, my husband was telling me there's some, like, crazy temperature food needs to be kept at that doesn't make it for better tasting food, but it makes sure there's no way you can get sick.
01:32:45.000So it doesn't always yield the taste of your product, but your company will be safe.
01:34:48.000Work with mold and a lot of experimentation.
01:34:50.000And I do think that there's something so beautiful about like...
01:34:54.000Working, eating something that you've done something unique to, it's not meant to be American-consumed, like, biggie-sized with fries.
01:35:01.000Like, some bites should be delicate and small and unique, and why can't we eat more things, and why can't we play with sustainability and things like that?
01:35:09.000We have such a small menu of what's acceptable, especially in the United States.
01:35:13.000And especially in terms of sustainability, there's so much more.
01:35:16.000Like, cuttlefish, which is weirdly in my movie, but, like, that's really sustainable.
01:40:28.000I read that script because I wanted the part of the Russian girl, and they ended up going with an actual Russian person, so I can't beat that.
01:40:42.000But, like, another comic's like, I got a script, you're like, oh, God, like, is it missing the third act?
01:40:47.000And I read this, and I was pleasantly surprised, because the story's funny, but turning it into something real, it was a really good script.
01:40:53.000And he's making it with Legendary, which is great.
01:40:58.000And it's one of those things where I missed out on it, but I'm still, like, pumped for the project.
01:41:33.000And he'll party and then he'll get up at 7 o'clock in the morning and go to work.
01:41:37.000You don't stay, this is not a fluke, like people, even like the drinking and whatever, and he's just, it's harmless and he's having fun, whatever, it's part of a persona, but you don't stay relevant without working hard.
01:41:50.000You know, like he does put in those hours and he does tour, so, and he's a good person.
01:41:54.000He's also the first guy to figure out how to do drive-in movie shows while we were all like trying to figure out what to do with the pandemic and do shows.
01:45:16.000And I think people think of the fans and they think of the bad ones, not the good ones.
01:45:22.000Because I think of you as so intelligent and I think the kind of guy that fully appreciates you has to be intelligent and capable of analytical thinking versus reducing it down to the joke that I'm making.
01:45:33.000Right, but some people don't fully appreciate you, right?
01:46:30.000You get stuck in wandering constantly about other people's opinions, especially random people's opinions that you don't even know.
01:46:36.000But on the other hand, it's good to get feedback.
01:46:39.000So it's like, it's a weird sort of fucking double-edged sword.
01:46:44.000I was thinking about that yesterday because there's feedback.
01:46:50.000Okay, there's a difference between opinion and you got a fact wrong.
01:46:54.000What I'm interested in is being corrected if I'm wrong.
01:47:02.000I'm interested in someone who isn't like me saying, hey, here's something you didn't know about civil rights or gender issues or the economy, like a genuine fact.
01:47:11.000What I'm not interested in, a lot of people will...
01:47:15.000Under the guise of being a fan, you post something innocuous and they will, in the comments so publicly, do something that's like kind of trying to shame you while being like, and I'm just asking because I'm a fan.
01:49:42.000Yeah, there's a thing where I think women seem to believe that men like really skinny girls because like girls seem to like very skinny girls or they seem to be jealous of really skinny girls sometimes.
01:51:16.000I think in terms of like girls being curvy, if girls could just, if you could actually take a step back and realize how incredibly simple the needs of a heterosexual man are, you don't have to chug a beer and like be into his sports.
01:52:33.000I've only built five Netflix specials off of it.
01:52:36.000Off of just this constant thinking about it.
01:52:38.000But if girls would just give themselves a break and he definitely doesn't care what you're wearing...
01:52:44.000Well, they definitely don't care if you can drink them under the table or if you're really into sports or if you're really into what they're into.
01:52:50.000But some girls are really into things that guys like so that guys will think that they're easy to hang out with.
01:55:21.000Kim Kardashian actually did have a big butt, and then everybody tried to make it bigger and bigger.
01:55:25.000Most women have larger butts, larger thighs.
01:55:29.000And I'm saying it trickles down into fashion so that a girl feels a little bit more okay about that versus killing yourself to have a thigh gap.
01:55:42.000Because we're told that guys do, but even as an adult, just in the last couple years, I've become more okay with being thicker in certain areas because you're seeing it more in fashion.
01:55:54.000Not even on altered women, just women who are more normal looking.
01:55:57.000Just saying, hey, the average woman's body is okay.
01:56:02.000You have to really figure out what you're okay with.
01:56:04.000It is weird, too, because it's like people do imitate what they see, and they try to emulate what they see, whether it's on television or on the internet or what have you.
01:56:13.000And then the other thing that's going on is on the internet, a lot of people are using these weird fucking filters, changing the size of their waist and changing the size of their butts.
01:56:21.000I literally was talking about this yesterday, how there are girls who get surgery to look like the filter.
01:56:27.000So we're all now agreeing on a standard that literally no one looks like and trying to adhere to that, which is even weirder.
01:56:34.000Because some of those models are that thin, but nobody naturally has a flower crown and a deer nose.
02:00:55.000Her mom was telling her, sweetie, you are doing the right thing, but you're doing it at the wrong time, and she's not ready for you to witness.
02:01:43.000Well, they're Christian and they happen to be fitness people, but it doesn't usually come up until it does.
02:01:50.000And then every now and then it'll come up and there'll be like a Bible verse that they want to highlight while they're showing you their quads.
02:04:05.000Because, you know, getting attention doesn't have to be a bad thing.
02:04:09.000But I do think women feel that they have to say something prophetic or intelligent to belie the intention of the post, which is, please look at my body.
02:04:53.000When you've got your tits hanging out and you're talking about Gandhi, It is, because the two have nothing to do with each other.
02:04:59.000Especially when you're doing this one, where you're covering your boobs with your hands and you're talking deep.
02:05:03.000Yeah, I think it's something that people don't question because they're like, okay, this will offset the intensity of that, but nobody realizes how weird that juxtaposition is.
02:05:23.000All girls, you know, we all post these, like, positive quotes, feeling better, but it's even weirder when a guy, like, posts a thing about, like, a lion doesn't ask permission to run down its prey.
02:05:34.000I'm like, you work at Cutco, and you do, like, a 30-minute workout.
02:06:09.000Boy, yeah the whole Instagram thing of like being able to project an image and Like to try to like cultivate that and try to get people to think of you of you like you're trying Actively to get people to think about you in a certain way.
02:06:23.000Yeah, you know There's a there's a weird unhealthiness to that when you're aware of how people gonna like see the picture of you and You know like what do you think about when you see guys using filters?
02:07:00.000And now I think about if you don't mind your P's and Q's, like how vulnerable your profile is to be canceled.
02:07:07.000You know, if you aren't careful about that, like what's up for grabs is your career.
02:07:14.000You know, like I... I took Wheels Up, which is like a private plane company, and I took it last night to get here in time because there was no way to physically get here without doing like a seven-hour red-eye kind of thing that would have exhausted me,
02:07:31.000and there's a lot of other things that go along with that.
02:07:33.000So I did that, and part of the deal is you take it and you put a post up.
02:07:38.000And I had this girl that was like, endorsing private jets?
02:09:21.000I didn't block her because what happens is they get angry and then they're like, but I miss her content of her kissing her dog and they always come back.
02:09:48.000I could be holding lepers in a colony and draining my bank account and then the next day I'd use a straw and they'd be like, how could you?
02:10:09.000Probably one of those Richard Gere gerbil up the ass rumors that you just hear.
02:10:12.000I had a babysitter when I was a kid who had a shriveled hand because I don't know if it was a lollipop stick or a straw that went through the back of her mouth and hit a nerve.
02:12:56.000Most of the things that people get mad at for those kind of things is just because they can't afford it and so they find a reason to mock it or shame it.
02:13:02.000Well, you must know that on a specific level.
02:13:05.000Just because of the success you've had and more recently that, you know, with Spotify and everything.
02:13:10.000I mean, you must field your fair share of that.
02:20:53.000Because I guess it's like you put them in the same category as the guys that work in a historical town and you dress up as Ben Franklin and you give the talk, you know?
02:21:01.000But that's about imparting some real knowledge versus just playing battle, I guess.
02:22:01.000Am I just seeing like a specific moment or is it just like...
02:22:04.000Like if I give you a week, you could spend a week and you knew you'd be safe.
02:22:07.000Okay, I just think the 60s were a really formative time for this country.
02:22:12.000And I think getting like hopping around just to the vibe and just all the unrest and the change and really coming out of losing our innocence as a nation and sort of catapulting us into what would become the country.
02:22:25.000I think the 60s were really fascinating.
02:22:27.000I bet a lot of people in the future are going to say that about the 20s, what's happening right now.
02:22:52.000Even as it's happening, I'm like, we are coming across like We're all fucking idiots, like animals.
02:22:58.000Well, we're unhinged in a lot of ways, and we're not anchored down by a real leader.
02:23:03.000You know, we don't really have a real leader in this country anymore.
02:23:06.000I mean, you could say Joe Biden is the president, he's our leader, and you'd be correct on paper, but, I mean, everybody knows he's out of his mind.
02:23:13.000He's just, he's barely hanging in there.
02:23:16.000I just think we've dealt with, you know, you have...
02:23:19.000Political unrest coming out of Donald Trump.
02:24:25.000I always think about that short story that we all had to read, The Lottery, where this town just randomly would draw straws to see who would get stoned to death.
02:25:59.000Or at least publicly interested in empathy, where they're promoting it.
02:26:02.000You know, it's not something that we value as much as, you know, we value it in our personal lives.
02:26:09.000It's very important in your personal lives to be empathetic about family members and friends.
02:26:13.000But when it comes to, like, public figures, nobody gives a shit about empathy.
02:26:17.000Well, also, if you're the one that empathizes and you publicly come out, I come out to defend my friend, that angry, it's almost like zombies, like they hear you breathing and they're like, and then they turn to, let's dig you up.
02:27:27.000It's a strange time, because we have this ability with social media that never existed before, where any person could just sort of lash out, you know?
02:27:36.000The most helpless ones are usually the loudest ones.
02:27:40.000And then all of a sudden, they have a voice.
02:27:42.000And all of a sudden, you're making amends for someone you've never met, who you have no intention of hurting, but they are only aiming to rip you apart.
02:28:03.000But I was reading some of the things she said.
02:28:05.000I'm like, people say that to people all the time, but the fact that she's doing it as a famous person, telling someone to kill themselves or hope you die or hope you're canceled forever, whatever the fuck she said.
02:28:18.000People are so mad, but I also think with someone like her, people really wanted a reason because she's good-looking and she's wealthy, you know, and that could have been anyone.
02:28:51.000But everybody, you know, like, I can't believe you did that.
02:28:53.000And she's like, you're going to have a hard time believing in anything if you are disappointed every time you find out somebody did something you disagree with.
02:30:36.000It doesn't feel dangerous to me because I believe if you're speaking with purpose and intention and you're backing up genuinely funny jokes with intelligence, it's irrefutable.
02:31:25.000And the guy that was profiled, there was all these people, and there was one guy who had been shamed for something sexual, like a sex party or doing something.
02:31:32.000And of all the people profiled, he didn't lose anything because he refused to be shamed for it.
02:31:37.000And I do think, without a Lady Duff protest too much aspect of it, there was something to be said, like, no, this is what I meant.
02:34:20.000But that's how, like, it's funny, you know, because I've known you for so long and you've had so many different relationships while I've known you, and it's like, what is it?
02:34:28.000It's like, you gotta find the thing that works.
02:34:31.000And so many people, especially so many of us, so many comedians, you go through life and you don't find someone who fits you, you know?
02:34:40.000I just ran into a comic the other night who told me he got divorced because his wife wanted him to quit comedy.
02:40:39.000But also, like, Andrew Schultz invented that, like, he did that sort of stand-up for Instagram thing that he was doing that turned into a series on Netflix.
02:40:48.000Did you ever see any of those stuff that he did?
02:40:50.000They're really good, really well written.
02:40:52.000And there's like a series of rapid fire jokes.
02:40:55.000He would say, turn your phone sideways.
02:41:00.000And he'd say, turn your phone sideways.
02:41:01.000So when you turn your phone sideways, you would get the full screen image of it.
02:41:04.000And then he would have these rapid fire joke, joke, joke about all these different people and different things and different moments in history.
02:41:54.000Some people weren't able to, whatever.
02:41:57.000But I think coming out of this, if you were healthy and you had the means to do something and expand your mind creatively, we couldn't do stand-up for so long.
02:45:07.000If you live in Nebraska, this is not an imminent threat.
02:45:11.000But if you live in a city like Los Angeles, with a lot of people who don't have access to resources and stuff like that, it's a different threat.
02:45:19.000So I'm not going to preach about it, but I am going to say it was devastating for the city I live in.