The Joe Rogan Experience - October 27, 2021


Joe Rogan Experience #1726 - Chuck Palahniuk


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 44 minutes

Words per Minute

159.07272

Word Count

26,133

Sentence Count

2,174

Misogynist Sentences

80

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

In this episode of Dead Air, I chat with writer and podcaster Caitlin Durante about censorship and how it affects her writing. We talk about what it s like writing in a time where censorship is ramping up and how this is affecting her ability to write. And we talk about why she writes the way she does, and why it s important to write about things that aren t always talked about in the media. Dead Air is on all of the social medias, if you search for Dead Air on Apple Podcasts, you'll find us. Dead Air original artwork by Dee McDonnell This episode was produced and edited by Annie-Rose Strasser. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Our ad music is by Haley Shaw. Additional music by Jeff Kaale. The album art for this episode was done by our super talented Ameya Vellian. Thank you to our sponsor, LaCie. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to our new podcast! Subscribe to Dead Air Radio and leave us a five star rating and review! It means you'll be the first to know whenever a new episode is released. It'll help us spread the word about Dead Air. And we'll be spreading the word to the world. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers. Cheers, Eternally grateful. -Eugene, Elyssa, Sarah, Caitlyn, Jenna, Emily, AJ, & Sarah, JR, and the Crews, Sarah, Susan, Caitlynneil, Emily, and Sarah, Margo, -- Michael, John Goodman, Jr., - The Vagabond, - & the rest of the crew at The Vagrant -- Thank you, Caitlynn, Rachael, . Caitie, JUICY, Rene, Racheal, Jazmin, J.J., and the rest? , Sarah, Jodie, R.J. , and the crew and the gang John Goodman . . , , Jazlyn, , & the gang, Jake, Jadyn, & more! - Thank you so much, Jaxon, Jodi, Jody, JANE, and all of your support is appreciated!


Transcript

00:00:08.000 Good to see you man.
00:00:13.000 Hey, welcome back.
00:00:14.000 Welcome back to you too.
00:00:16.000 I was very excited to talk to you because it's been about three years and during those three years it seems like Censorship issues and issues of what you can and can't say and what isn't acceptable,
00:00:31.000 they seem to be ramping up.
00:00:34.000 And you are, in my mind, one of the more interesting and dangerous writers out there because you...
00:00:41.000 You tap into these super uncomfortable stories and you're willing to explore areas in writing that I think a lot of people would avoid.
00:00:55.000 We talked about this the last time you were here, some of the more dangerous stories that you had workshopped and people had gotten upset at you for.
00:01:03.000 But I really wanted to talk to you because I wanted to know how this is affecting you.
00:01:08.000 How this weird climate of hypersensitivity and purity tests is affecting your writing.
00:01:22.000 This is the dead air part.
00:01:25.000 Scooch up to the mic.
00:01:26.000 Okay.
00:01:28.000 You know, and I don't want to kind of shoot my wad with a big term, but have you ever heard of absurdist existentialism?
00:01:37.000 No, I haven't.
00:01:38.000 Okay.
00:01:39.000 Like a piece of two words together.
00:01:40.000 You know, I used to, when I look back at the books that I really loved growing up, I see that they are now under the big umbrella of the very small phenomenon called absurdist existentialism.
00:01:53.000 Do you remember the book Geek Love?
00:01:55.000 Yes.
00:01:55.000 Geek Love!
00:01:56.000 Could Catherine write Geek Love right now?
00:01:59.000 It is about a man and a woman who own a failing circus and they decide the way to save their circus is to have deformed babies.
00:02:08.000 So they take insecticides, they expose themselves to radiation, and they give birth to ultimately a whole crew of severely deformed children, plus a whole crew of children that don't live, that are in the circus culture, they're called pickled punks,
00:02:24.000 those kind of deformed babies in formaldehyde.
00:02:28.000 Catherine wrote that book.
00:02:31.000 It was the first banner book under the new director at Knopf, Sonny Mehta.
00:02:36.000 It was one of the top-selling books of the 20th century.
00:02:39.000 It was a huge success.
00:02:41.000 And it really is absurdist existentialism.
00:02:45.000 And the general idea is that life is so messed up, so unfixable, that we might as well go right to the crazy.
00:02:55.000 And Vonnegut wrote it, Tom Robbins wrote it throughout the 70s, Still Life with Woodpecker and Matches, even Cowgirls Get the Blues.
00:03:06.000 Nathaniel West wrote it.
00:03:10.000 F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote it in the 20s.
00:03:12.000 These people who had survived the Spanish flu and survived the First World War.
00:03:17.000 And that there is a kind of a tipping point in the culture where things seem so messed up and so unfixable that you just sort of tip into this absurdist existentialism.
00:03:28.000 And there's a fantastic joy and freedom in that.
00:03:31.000 And so My goal is always to try to write the kind of book I want to read.
00:03:37.000 And I want to write Geek Love because I want to read Geek Love, regardless of whether or not Catherine could write it.
00:03:45.000 Even if she wasn't dead, she could not write that book anymore.
00:03:50.000 There's something about writing and reading that kind of stuff where you can never capture it in any other medium.
00:04:01.000 And I think in some ways even audiobooks don't do justice to some of the darker ideas because you kind of want to piece them together in your own mind.
00:04:11.000 And as you're reading it in silence and the author's ideas are coming to life inside your head, you know, your own creativity and imagination are intertwined with the work of the artist to try to fill in the visuals of the work.
00:04:30.000 It's a place where that's the only way you can truly get the most out of those really twisted ideas.
00:04:40.000 Well, and because also to be made literal enough to film or even to be said out loud kind of destroys that intimacy where it only occurs in your mind.
00:04:51.000 It occurs in a kind of sub-vocalization and in the kind of sympathetic neural phenomenon that's happening when you read a verb, studies have shown that your body thinks that you are running.
00:05:05.000 Your body thinks that you are doing what the verb is saying.
00:05:09.000 And you lose that when you hear it out loud and you lose it especially when it has to be made literal enough to be filmed.
00:05:16.000 Another absurdist existentialist book, Confederacy of Dunces.
00:05:20.000 You know, John Goodman, God bless him, he has had that book optioned for decades and that will never be a movie because it is filled with racist humor, it is filled with misogynistic humor, and it is filled with homophobic humor.
00:05:36.000 It is completely an unfilmable book, but people adore Confederacy of Dunces and it won the Pulitzer Prize, but it cannot be made literal enough to become a movie.
00:05:50.000 Yeah, there's books that were made at a different time where even today people don't want you reading them anymore.
00:06:00.000 That might be one of them.
00:06:02.000 If that ever gets under the spotlight and people start examining some of the things in that book, that might be one of those books where people just decide you shouldn't be reading that anymore.
00:06:11.000 Well, I think there's kind of a political aspect too.
00:06:14.000 I've seen some essays about why Mel Gibson can just get crazier and crazier and he's not canceled and why Roseanne Barr gets crazy one night on Ambien and she's gone.
00:06:28.000 And a lot of these essays, for the most part, say it's because Mel Gibson is making people money and that people generally like Mel Gibson.
00:06:37.000 They really like Mel Gibson and nobody really wants to cancel him.
00:06:41.000 Where supposedly Roseanne Barr had offended so many people and she was so difficult that people were really gunning for any opportunity to cancel her.
00:06:50.000 And I think with Confederacy of Dunces, with these really beloved books, People like them too much to really put them under that kind of microscope.
00:06:59.000 The people that do like them, right?
00:07:01.000 Yeah.
00:07:02.000 My worry is that people that don't even know about them or haven't read them get a hold of it.
00:07:10.000 You know, I think that...
00:07:12.000 The books still have so much traction in the culture that they can't be canceled out.
00:07:17.000 They might be passed hand-to-hand, but they will always be in print.
00:07:21.000 They removed Tom Sawyer from some schools, and there was some talk about censoring it and changing the words because the N-word's in it so much.
00:07:31.000 You know, my book, Make Something Up, It was the biggest censored book of 2016, and I think the only adult censored book of 2016. But it's still read.
00:07:43.000 It's still out there.
00:07:44.000 Just because a book is kind of removed from libraries, you know, doesn't end the book.
00:07:49.000 What was so censored about it?
00:07:51.000 I didn't read that.
00:07:51.000 Oh, dear God.
00:07:55.000 It had...
00:07:57.000 Do you remember the story of Mr. Hand, the man?
00:07:59.000 Yes.
00:08:00.000 It had a very touching story about the guy whose daughter ended up buying this horse over the internet at an auction.
00:08:11.000 And he realized that she was only buying the horse because it had this sordid background.
00:08:15.000 And she intended to exploit this horse by having her friends take selfies with it.
00:08:23.000 Oh, it was Mr. Hand's horse.
00:08:24.000 It was Mr. Hand's horse.
00:08:26.000 And also he was getting all these bids for tens of hundreds of millions of dollars from people around the world who also wanted Mr. Hand's horse for their own purposes.
00:08:38.000 And this is just one of 23 different stories that were all more or less each offensive in their own way.
00:08:48.000 It's not Roland Dahl.
00:08:51.000 The Mr. Hand story was wild.
00:08:53.000 Did you ever see the documentary about it?
00:08:55.000 It's called Zoo.
00:08:56.000 You know, a lot of people hate that documentary, but I have to like it because one of my best friend's brother-in-law made that documentary.
00:09:07.000 So officially, I love that documentary.
00:09:09.000 Officially?
00:09:10.000 Officially.
00:09:11.000 It wasn't the best, but how do you make a documentary about something that you can't show?
00:09:16.000 You know, it's like they were in a weird position.
00:09:20.000 Well, do you remember Into the Wild, the first big Krakauer book?
00:09:26.000 When you go through that book, it's really fascinating because you know that Krakauer only had so much material about Chris McCandless.
00:09:34.000 It's just a few months out of the kid's life.
00:09:37.000 And so, how does he deal with that material?
00:09:40.000 So he starts in, kind of after the fact, establishing the bus, the death scene.
00:09:46.000 And then he starts in a very linear, deep flashback, taking Chris McCandless up to a certain point.
00:09:52.000 And then he expands for several chapters saying Chris is not the first young guy at that age to sort of throw everything away and hit the road.
00:10:02.000 And he profiles maybe a half dozen sort of famous guys who did the exact same thing and kind of disappeared in the culture.
00:10:11.000 And so he expands the theme showing that historically it's not a one-off, that young men have always taken these kind of pilgrimages to find themselves.
00:10:21.000 And then just before Chris McCandless is killed, he depicts himself climbing that steep mountain in Alaska by himself at the age of 23 and almost dying.
00:10:33.000 And so he illustrates the theme over and over both with McCandless in the present and with these historical figures doing the exact same thing and then with himself explaining why this story is so compelling for him because he did the same thing at that age and he didn't die.
00:10:51.000 And then we show Chris dying.
00:10:53.000 And so if you're going to do the the zoo story You need to expand it beyond the story itself.
00:11:00.000 You need to look for where it occurs and is sort of illustrated in other aspects of the culture, both historically and in other parts of the world.
00:11:09.000 You need to expand the theme beyond just what actually happened.
00:11:13.000 How would you do that?
00:11:15.000 Oh my gosh, you know.
00:11:17.000 Talk about the culture of people that are zoophiliacs?
00:11:20.000 Exactly.
00:11:20.000 You would go down that road.
00:11:23.000 You'd probably pixelate a lot of faces.
00:11:26.000 You'd also talk historically.
00:11:27.000 You'd find some academic to talk about it.
00:11:30.000 It would have been very easy to do, but it would have taken a little more work.
00:11:37.000 Yeah.
00:11:38.000 Well, they had, like, recreations in that, didn't they?
00:11:41.000 Like, these actors or something?
00:11:42.000 They did, and they were always kind of soft-focused, and they were shadows on walls.
00:11:47.000 We should probably tell people what we're talking about.
00:11:49.000 Mr. Hands is a video about a guy getting fucked to death by a horse.
00:11:52.000 It's not necessarily...
00:11:54.000 The video that's available that you can watch, and we found it the other day, and we watched it, is not the guy actually getting fucked to death by the horse.
00:12:02.000 It is just him getting fucked by the horse.
00:12:04.000 Apparently, they don't have the video of him actually dying or the one time that killed him.
00:12:13.000 It punctured his organs or whatever it did internally that ruptured him.
00:12:16.000 They had to bring him to the emergency room.
00:12:19.000 And then the police were called and they started questioning him like, what's going on here?
00:12:25.000 And then they found out that...
00:12:28.000 Well, the whole story was that it's legal in Washington State to have sex with animals.
00:12:33.000 Or it was.
00:12:34.000 It was, yeah.
00:12:35.000 Because of this death, they changed the laws.
00:12:37.000 But these people would meet online.
00:12:39.000 I guess they had like a website that they would go to.
00:12:42.000 And then they would say, you know, hey, my buddy's got a farm.
00:12:45.000 Let's party.
00:12:47.000 It wasn't even his farm.
00:12:49.000 He was the caretaker of some wealthy people who had these horses.
00:12:53.000 And the wealthy people had no idea that they were running a brothel.
00:12:57.000 Yeah.
00:12:58.000 The thing about Into the Wild is that's a story that many people can sort of relate to.
00:13:05.000 You can kind of relate to this idea that society and materialism and the road that everyone's on is fruitless and filled with...
00:13:18.000 Angst and no one no one wants to live like that, but they just do they do because everyone has before them but really You're better off just being free and just going into the wild like that that Appeals to so many people the idea that the path that we're headed down with civilization is It's not healthy.
00:13:39.000 It's not natural and ultimately it's going to be our demise So there's so many people that like the idea of going to the woods is really appealing and The idea of getting fucked to death by a horse.
00:13:51.000 Far more difficult sell.
00:13:53.000 Like, you know, to make it relatable.
00:13:56.000 You know, and I don't think it's ever going to be relatable, relatable.
00:14:01.000 But at least in the short story that I wrote, the main character makes the point, or he explores the point, that we find it funny because it was a white male...
00:14:15.000 Engineer for like NASA or Boeing.
00:14:18.000 Something like that.
00:14:18.000 White male, heterosexual, middle-aged, successful professional.
00:14:22.000 Yeah.
00:14:23.000 And if it had been anyone else, it would not be a story and it would certainly not be funny.
00:14:28.000 But you take somebody who is perceived in the culture as having all of the power and you show them getting fucked to death by a horse and dying on the floor in an emergency room dumped there by their friends with rutting mare pheromone all over his legs.
00:14:43.000 You know...
00:14:45.000 Yeah.
00:14:46.000 That's what makes it funny.
00:14:49.000 Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
00:14:50.000 Is that what they did?
00:14:51.000 They put rutting pheromones on his legs to get the horse to mount him?
00:14:54.000 Yeah.
00:14:55.000 Wow, I didn't know that part.
00:14:57.000 The other day at Bi-Mart, which is kind of this discount department store in the Northwest, they had this huge table of half-priced things, and they had all sexy names, and they were little aerosol sprays.
00:15:10.000 They were rutting elk pheromones.
00:15:13.000 And I just had to buy them.
00:15:15.000 You know, it's like the ultimate stocking stuffer is like, who do I know that needs rutting elk pheromones?
00:15:21.000 And they all have these kind of big type on the packaging that says, the bulls will come running.
00:15:30.000 They'll follow you.
00:15:31.000 They'll follow you right to your gun.
00:15:33.000 They'll walk right up to you if you wear this.
00:15:36.000 And so the idea of all these hunters spraying themselves with rutting elk pheromone so they can attract these kind of horny elk is just so appealing.
00:15:46.000 Well, it is kind of fucked that when you hunt elk, primarily, especially when you hunt with a bow, you hunt them when they're fucking.
00:15:55.000 I did not know that.
00:15:56.000 Yeah, you hunt them in the rut.
00:15:57.000 That's the whole idea.
00:15:59.000 I elk hunt.
00:16:01.000 So this is one of the things, this is my main way I get meat, is I hunt.
00:16:06.000 And I go bow hunting in the mountains.
00:16:09.000 In Fight Club 3, the graphic novel that I launched last year, the year, the worst year ever to launch a novel, I needed a backstory for the female character in Fight Club.
00:16:19.000 I wanted her to be an orphan.
00:16:21.000 So in the backstory, Tyler, who is this, you know, Tyler Durden, the eternal character, he seduces Marla's mother.
00:16:29.000 And he says, I want to do furry play.
00:16:31.000 And he seduces her out into the woods.
00:16:35.000 And, uh...
00:16:36.000 Ah, no, I got it backwards.
00:16:39.000 Uh...
00:16:41.000 He has her seduce Marla's father into doing furry play.
00:16:46.000 And so she's running through the woods naked and Marla's father is dressed up as a cougar chasing her to ravish her.
00:16:55.000 And then Tyler is in a blind with a bow and arrow and he shoots Marla's father in the back.
00:17:02.000 And he dies while rutting with Marla's mother.
00:17:07.000 That's how her father dies.
00:17:09.000 And then Tyler, who is the paramour, convinces Marla's mother to basically do the same scenario.
00:17:16.000 And as they're running through the woods, Tyler is dressed up as a grizzly bear and Marla's mother is trying to be ravished.
00:17:24.000 And then a real grizzly bear shows up.
00:17:26.000 And that's how Marla's mother is killed.
00:17:30.000 I think that is the best backstory I've ever written for a character.
00:17:34.000 But yeah, I'm so glad that you went there.
00:17:37.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
00:17:39.000 The reason being is that that's when they congregate together in very specific areas and also when the males have their antlers in full display.
00:17:48.000 Because elk antlers are, I'm pretty sure this is true, they are the quickest growing bone in all of nature.
00:17:59.000 And they shed them every year.
00:18:01.000 Did you see the antlers outside?
00:18:02.000 Do you see them out there?
00:18:03.000 Those are only like six months old.
00:18:07.000 Wow.
00:18:07.000 So they have their antlers shed in the spring, and then as the summer rolls around, they regrow them.
00:18:14.000 And then when the fall is there, they lose their velvet, they scrape the velvet off, and then they have bone.
00:18:20.000 That's all bone.
00:18:21.000 And they shed them every year.
00:18:23.000 So are they bigger every year or are they the same size?
00:18:25.000 Yes, until they start going downhill.
00:18:27.000 When they get older, when they hit like 13, 14 years old, then the antlers start shrinking and the tines grow smaller and it's usually because they're starting to die.
00:18:36.000 But that's a rare thing.
00:18:38.000 Most of the time they die, they're killed by mountain lions or by other elk.
00:18:42.000 They stab each other to death with those things.
00:18:45.000 And we find them dead all the time.
00:18:47.000 Like every year you find one dead.
00:18:49.000 They just stab them through the lungs and they stab them while they're down.
00:18:54.000 It's really crazy.
00:18:55.000 There should be a law, okay?
00:18:56.000 They should make a law against that.
00:18:59.000 Against elk murder?
00:19:00.000 Yeah, that's just horrible.
00:19:02.000 That's how they breed.
00:19:03.000 Nature is horrible.
00:19:04.000 It is horrible.
00:19:06.000 That's the least horrible, because most of the time they get through it intact.
00:19:10.000 When you kill an elk, one of the things that happens is you skin them and quarter them, and when you skin them, you find puncture wounds all over their body from fights.
00:19:21.000 So generally speaking, they're superficial wounds.
00:19:24.000 They're small wounds all over the place.
00:19:26.000 But occasionally, one will hit another elk with such force that one of the tines goes through the ribcage, and that's when they die.
00:19:34.000 But it's more rare, because more rare than that.
00:19:37.000 We find one dead every year, but they fight all the time.
00:19:42.000 They're establishing dominance almost every day.
00:19:47.000 If there's a large herd of elk, maybe you'll find one a season.
00:19:52.000 But the whole idea is you can find them better when they're congregating like this.
00:19:57.000 And the way you call them in is you either pretend that you're a female or you pretend you're a male.
00:20:03.000 So you either pretend that you're a male that wants to challenge them and steal their women, or you pretend that you're a female and that you've left...
00:20:12.000 Whatever male used to have control of you, because it's generally speaking like it's one bull elk that is the herd bull, so the biggest, baddest bull in the mountain, and he'll have 20, 30 cows, and he'll be trying to breed them all.
00:20:26.000 And one of them occasionally will break loose, and the bull will risk his life and leave the circle of, leave the safety of numbers to go find the one that took off to bring her back.
00:20:40.000 And that's, I killed the bull...
00:20:42.000 Like that in this video that we did for Under Armour.
00:20:45.000 That's the very specific way we killed it.
00:20:47.000 We trailed the elk and we made noises like a female elk and this big herd bull thought one of his cows was left behind.
00:20:56.000 So he came back to try to get that cow and that's how we got him.
00:21:00.000 Now, is that like a little call that you use?
00:21:02.000 Yeah, it's like...
00:21:03.000 It's like a Phelps game call, that's what it's called.
00:21:08.000 You blow it like a whistle.
00:21:10.000 A friend was just showing me a video.
00:21:11.000 He just went bow hunting for the first time.
00:21:14.000 And he had one of those, and he was using it.
00:21:16.000 And he found himself in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by what he thought were wolves, because they were barking in the dark around him.
00:21:24.000 And he was terrified.
00:21:26.000 And for a long time...
00:21:28.000 He would just keep blowing the call.
00:21:30.000 And he was also trying to retreat and find his pickup truck.
00:21:33.000 And ultimately he realized that these barks were the elk themselves, that the male elk will make a barking sound that sounds very much like a wolf.
00:21:43.000 And so it sounded like he was pursued by a pack of wolves, but he taped them and he showed me the video of these elk actually barking.
00:21:50.000 How odd.
00:21:52.000 That's a guy who really shouldn't be in the woods.
00:21:55.000 He doesn't know the difference between the sound of a wolf and an elk, and he's terrified.
00:21:59.000 It's pretty clear.
00:22:00.000 He's going to listen to this.
00:22:02.000 John, I'm so sorry.
00:22:03.000 I told your story.
00:22:04.000 They have like a barking sound.
00:22:07.000 They make like weird sounds, but it's generally the males bugle.
00:22:13.000 They make a scream.
00:22:14.000 Have you heard an elk bugle?
00:22:16.000 Oh, Jamie, you got to pull this up because it's one of the wildest sounds in nature.
00:22:20.000 And it's one of my favorite things.
00:22:22.000 Like when you're hunting them and you're around them and you're hiding in the woods and you're sneaking up on them and you hear them bugle, your hair's standing up on end.
00:22:29.000 Because...
00:22:33.000 They sound like demons in a fucking Hobbit movie.
00:22:36.000 That sounds like...
00:22:38.000 Do you remember?
00:22:42.000 In the 70s, that was sold as the Bigfoot noise.
00:22:46.000 Was it?
00:22:46.000 Yeah, that was the Bigfoot or the Sasquatch noise.
00:22:52.000 I think there was a bunch of noises sold as a Sasquatch noise, but if they tried to say that noise was a Sasquatch noise, any elk hunter would go, shut the fuck up.
00:23:01.000 You can hear that every year.
00:23:03.000 Like, you could find them.
00:23:04.000 Bigfoot, you can't find.
00:23:05.000 You can find that noise.
00:23:07.000 It was the 70s, okay?
00:23:09.000 We didn't have the internet.
00:23:11.000 Have you ever heard the samurai sounds when he's speaking about Sasquatch?
00:23:15.000 It's one of the most ridiculous noises.
00:23:19.000 There was these folks that were in the mountains of Northern California and they claimed that they were surrounded by Sasquatch and these Sasquatch had a language.
00:23:30.000 And you hear the language and it's so preposterous and so stupid sounding.
00:23:35.000 You know, some things they just, you just know, you know?
00:23:39.000 Like, there's no if, ands, or buts, this is bullshit.
00:23:42.000 And this is one of them.
00:23:43.000 The samurai sounds, it sounds like they're Japanese.
00:23:48.000 So they're knocking on trees.
00:23:50.000 They made recordings of this.
00:23:51.000 So convenient that they had a recording device.
00:23:54.000 Right when they're experiencing Sasquatch.
00:23:57.000 But you also can hear when the men are talking and describing that these sounds are in the distance.
00:24:03.000 You can tell they're full of shit.
00:24:05.000 Like you can tell they're bad actors.
00:24:08.000 They're not, they're just, they're not experiencing what they're saying they're experiencing.
00:24:13.000 They're pretending.
00:24:14.000 You can tell when they're pretending.
00:24:16.000 Let me hear some of those.
00:24:22.000 This is a bad version of it, huh?
00:24:25.000 We've got 500,000 views.
00:24:27.000 I tried.
00:24:28.000 See if we can find where they start.
00:24:30.000 Here it goes.
00:24:32.000 Here, here.
00:24:34.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:24:38.000 Yeah, right?
00:24:50.000 We would have to sit here and listen for 20 minutes to get some really good versions of it, but the sounds...
00:24:56.000 Like, it literally sounds like that.
00:25:00.000 Like, it sounds completely fake.
00:25:01.000 And these folks are trying to pass this off as Sasquatch language.
00:25:06.000 So, what year?
00:25:09.000 70s, right?
00:25:10.000 Yeah, 71-ish.
00:25:11.000 Yeah, back when everybody couldn't get good acid anymore, and they were just going off into the woods trying to find things.
00:25:18.000 Yeah, you know.
00:25:19.000 There were so many things.
00:25:20.000 The Legend of Boggy Creek made so much money.
00:25:23.000 Yeah.
00:25:23.000 I could see everybody wanting to get on board for that.
00:25:26.000 Well, everybody wanted to believe after the 1967 Patterson Gimlet footage.
00:25:31.000 That was the footage where it's like the dumbest, fakest-looking footage of all time of this guy in a monkey suit that's just wandering through.
00:25:40.000 That is a guy named Bob Hieronymus.
00:25:43.000 Aww.
00:25:44.000 It's a real guy who put this monkey suit on and confessed and told everybody he did it.
00:25:49.000 What's funny about the Patterson footage is it's the footage that the people who believe in UFOs, or excuse me, Bigfoot, cling to the most.
00:25:57.000 The Patterson footage is their holy grail.
00:25:59.000 But the guy who made that footage was arrested for writing a bad check to pay for the very camera that he used to film this.
00:26:08.000 Like, he was a fucking con man.
00:26:10.000 And he even told people that he was going to go out there and film Bigfoot.
00:26:16.000 And then went out there with this camera that he kind of stole and then filmed his buddy in a monkey suit.
00:26:23.000 Like, they tracked where he bought the suit.
00:26:25.000 Like, the whole...
00:26:25.000 It's like...
00:26:26.000 And there's video footage of side-by-side of Bob Hieronymus walking.
00:26:31.000 Bob Hieronymus was this big cowboy fella.
00:26:34.000 And he had kind of like an awkward gait.
00:26:36.000 And then you see they did side-by-side footage of Bob Hieronymus walking next to the Bigfoot creature in the suit walking.
00:26:45.000 And it so clearly looks like a guy in a gorilla suit.
00:26:49.000 Like, so clearly.
00:26:50.000 And when you see Bob walking, it so clearly looks like Bob in a gorilla suit.
00:26:54.000 Because he was just a big fella.
00:26:57.000 You know, probably 6'3", awkward looking cowboy guy.
00:27:01.000 It's like you just killed Santa Claus.
00:27:04.000 Did you have any thoughts that that might be real?
00:27:07.000 You know, when I was little, that whole Thor Heyerdahl, you know, cryptozoological world is so fascinating.
00:27:16.000 And you want to believe that spontaneous human combustion, you want a certain amount of magic in your life.
00:27:21.000 Yeah.
00:27:21.000 Well, there's a certain amount of magic that's real.
00:27:23.000 Yeah, meth.
00:27:25.000 Yeah, meth.
00:27:26.000 Well, there's for sure...
00:27:28.000 There was a creature that was alive while people were alive that was a little hobbit creature.
00:27:34.000 Do you know about that?
00:27:35.000 Homo floriensis, I believe this is how you say it.
00:27:38.000 They called it from the island of Flores.
00:27:41.000 They found, and this is a creature that lived as recently as 13,000 years ago, they found bones of these very small humanoids.
00:27:51.000 And what they were essentially was a branch of humans that were wiped out.
00:27:56.000 There was another version of them, I think in Vietnam, called the Orang Pendek.
00:28:01.000 So this is a real animal that lived on the Homo floresiensis.
00:28:10.000 This is like established science.
00:28:13.000 They have multiple skeletons and bones.
00:28:19.000 We're good to go.
00:28:31.000 And they think they might have been wiped out.
00:28:34.000 And there's speculation they might have been wiped out because, you know, they were competing for food and maybe even hunting people.
00:28:40.000 Like killing children and shit like that.
00:28:43.000 But they were little tiny humanoid people.
00:28:45.000 Because there was a bunch of different kinds of humans.
00:28:48.000 In the transition between Australopithecus and Homo sapiens, there was a lot of branches of the human tree, and some of them made it to modern times, essentially.
00:29:03.000 I mean, this is like during the Ice Age, these things were alive.
00:29:06.000 This is really crazy.
00:29:07.000 So while people were all over the world, you know, building structures, and while at the same time they were building these huge stone monoliths in Turkey, there was little three foot tall furry people that were living on an island in Flores.
00:29:27.000 It's wild.
00:29:28.000 So there was a real Bigfoot at one time.
00:29:31.000 It was a real creature.
00:29:33.000 It's called Gigantopithecus.
00:29:34.000 Have you ever seen that?
00:29:35.000 Now, was that the...
00:29:36.000 There was one that a tooth came out of China?
00:29:40.000 And I thought all that was debunked.
00:29:42.000 No.
00:29:42.000 I thought that was debunked.
00:29:44.000 No, there's jaw bones and everything.
00:29:45.000 It's not just a tooth.
00:29:47.000 It was a jaw bone that indicated a bipedal hominid, which means it stood up on two legs.
00:29:53.000 And it was somewhere between eight and ten feet tall.
00:29:56.000 I'm thinking of the Cardiff Giant.
00:29:58.000 Okay.
00:29:58.000 Yeah, that's debunked.
00:30:01.000 Gigantopithecus is an established science.
00:30:02.000 I mean, it's a real animal in the historical record of creatures that died off.
00:30:09.000 But this creature, they found this in an apothecary shop in China.
00:30:13.000 An anthropologist did.
00:30:14.000 I think it was in the 1920s.
00:30:16.000 And then he had the people from the shop take him to wherever they found it.
00:30:20.000 And they found multiple bones and teeth and jawbones.
00:30:24.000 And then as they pieced these bones together, they realized they were dealing with a forgotten primate.
00:30:29.000 And show that image of the guy standing next to a recreation of Gigantopithecus.
00:30:37.000 It was in the orangutan family.
00:30:39.000 And it was a fucking enormous, you know, eight foot plus tall primate.
00:30:47.000 So what happened?
00:30:48.000 Died off.
00:30:49.000 Just died off.
00:30:50.000 Like many other things.
00:30:52.000 But it lived alongside humans as recently as 100,000 years ago.
00:30:57.000 And maybe more.
00:30:58.000 Maybe more recently.
00:31:00.000 The thing is, they have so many stories of a large, hairy primate.
00:31:06.000 Native Americans have like 100 different names for them.
00:31:10.000 And the thought is that these things probably lived a lot closer to modern times than 100,000 years ago, like maybe 20,000 years ago.
00:31:19.000 I don't buy the just died off theory, okay?
00:31:22.000 There's always...
00:31:23.000 Well, we probably murdered them, if that's what you want to hear.
00:31:25.000 I think the government...
00:31:27.000 Because things don't just die off anymore.
00:31:32.000 You think the government killed Bigfoot?
00:31:34.000 I don't think I can say that and still be on Twitter.
00:31:39.000 Yeah.
00:31:40.000 But that little thing that you're talking about?
00:31:42.000 The Orang Pendek or the Homo floresiensis?
00:31:46.000 Think they killed it off?
00:31:47.000 I don't know, because the Gates Foundation has been really active in that area, I heard.
00:31:55.000 Yeah.
00:31:58.000 I'm not saying anything.
00:32:00.000 I'm just saying that there are things we don't investigate for a reason.
00:32:04.000 I see what you're saying.
00:32:06.000 Yeah, it could be.
00:32:08.000 Maybe we tried vaccines on them.
00:32:10.000 We used them to experiment.
00:32:13.000 Could be.
00:32:16.000 But I'm not going to go there.
00:32:17.000 I'm not going to go there.
00:32:18.000 There have been sightings of those little people things within the 20th century in Vietnam, but who knows if it's true.
00:32:27.000 If there was a small population of those things living deep in the jungle, little tiny people like creatures.
00:32:34.000 Well, and cross-culturally, pretty much every civilization has got its little people stories.
00:32:39.000 Yeah.
00:32:40.000 Well, I think they were a real thing.
00:32:42.000 They find animals every now and then that they thought were extinct.
00:32:45.000 Like, they just found a giant owl as recently as, like, a week ago that they thought was extinct for 170 years.
00:32:52.000 It's a really cool-looking owl.
00:32:54.000 They thought it was—I believe it's in Africa.
00:32:57.000 Is that it?
00:32:58.000 Giant owl not seen for 150 years, pictured in the wild for the first time.
00:33:02.000 It's hard to tell scale from this picture, but these fucking things are huge.
00:33:06.000 Yeah, the 1870s.
00:33:08.000 They thought they were extinct.
00:33:11.000 So they find shit.
00:33:13.000 In Ghana.
00:33:15.000 Okay.
00:33:17.000 There you go.
00:33:19.000 If it's on YouTube, it'll live forever.
00:33:22.000 You know the white cuckoo?
00:33:23.000 Same thing?
00:33:24.000 What's a white cuckoo?
00:33:26.000 There's something in the South called...
00:33:27.000 I hate to keep saying this, but just pull this thing closer to your face.
00:33:32.000 If you just get it like a fist from your face, it just sounds better.
00:33:35.000 Okay.
00:33:37.000 There's a rare white cuckoo that exists in the deep, in the bayous of the South.
00:33:44.000 I don't know its official name, but supposedly there's a $10,000 reward if you can capture one or kill it.
00:33:50.000 And so I've seen occasional fiction written about this mythical white cuckoo bird.
00:33:59.000 Is a cuckoo bird, is that a wild animal, or is it like a domestic thing?
00:34:03.000 Like parakeets are domestic, but they're wild, right?
00:34:06.000 You can find them somewhere.
00:34:08.000 Cuckoos are wild, yeah.
00:34:10.000 Yeah?
00:34:10.000 Yeah.
00:34:11.000 Because the whole cuckold thing comes from cuckoos.
00:34:14.000 It does?
00:34:14.000 Yeah, because cuckoos reproduce by laying their eggs in the nests of other birds, and the cuckoo egg hatches first, and it hatches biggest.
00:34:23.000 And so the cuckoo nestling pushes the other eggs out and destroys them, or if the other birds hatch, the cuckoo nestling kills them.
00:34:32.000 And so the parents end up feeding the cuckoo fledgling.
00:34:38.000 And typically the fledgling is three or four times the size of the surrogate parents.
00:34:44.000 And so it's kind of tragic when you see these pictures of house sparrows feeding a nestling the size of a chicken.
00:34:52.000 And that's where the whole idea of the cuckold comes from, is that you're basically raising someone else's child and you're being sort of used and your own children have been neglected or destroyed so that you can care for someone else's child.
00:35:06.000 Whoa.
00:35:07.000 That's where cuckold comes from?
00:35:09.000 Yeah.
00:35:10.000 Huh.
00:35:14.000 I guess it makes sense.
00:35:16.000 I guess that's a logical origin.
00:35:21.000 Well, I've never heard that before.
00:35:23.000 It's kind of tragic.
00:35:24.000 It is tragic.
00:35:26.000 Well, birds are tragic, period.
00:35:29.000 It's a weird creature.
00:35:31.000 You know?
00:35:32.000 They get to fly, but they don't live very long.
00:35:37.000 They get eaten by other birds.
00:35:40.000 It's like it's just a fucked up, hardscrabble world.
00:35:43.000 The world of birds.
00:35:44.000 You ever see videos of owls snatching hawks out of their nests?
00:35:49.000 Because owls hunt at night.
00:35:51.000 And they snatch adult hawks or baby hawks?
00:35:53.000 Oh, owls are pretty fucking big.
00:35:55.000 You know, like smaller hawks.
00:35:57.000 This is a really cool one.
00:35:58.000 It's like a night vision camera that they had set up on this nest because, you know, they're observing these hawks in nature.
00:36:05.000 Watch this.
00:36:06.000 This is one of my favorites.
00:36:07.000 This is a pretty good size.
00:36:08.000 They kind of look like juveniles, right?
00:36:10.000 But watch the owl.
00:36:11.000 Boom!
00:36:12.000 Oh, ow!
00:36:13.000 Oh, just grooming and then that.
00:36:16.000 Okay, fuck.
00:36:18.000 Poor owl.
00:36:19.000 I mean, hawk.
00:36:20.000 Well, now it knows how it feels.
00:36:23.000 Now you know how I feel.
00:36:24.000 The craziest animal I ever heard of in the womb is there's a shark, I forget which kind of shark it is, but the mother shark will have multiple sharks inside of her body and the baby sharks will start eating the other baby sharks around them and murdering them inside the womb before birth.
00:36:51.000 Okay.
00:36:52.000 Metaphor?
00:36:53.000 What is that?
00:36:54.000 Yeah.
00:36:54.000 Basking sharks.
00:36:56.000 Millions of eggs are created, sent to be fertilized.
00:36:58.000 The hatched embryos begin to eat the surrounding eggs.
00:37:00.000 In some cases, like the sand tiger shark, they eat other embryos too.
00:37:05.000 So like one embryo will start eating the other embryos.
00:37:08.000 There's like images of it too.
00:37:11.000 Like they did like some sort of like an x-ray or an MRI. I don't know if it's real though, the images.
00:37:21.000 Do you draw from the, like when you're thinking about writing stuff, do you draw from how fucked up nature is in stories like this?
00:37:30.000 You know, not very much because Because I'd much rather hang out at a party with a bunch of human beings than talk to a bunch of parasitic spiders.
00:37:40.000 I really want to be around people, so I use storytelling as a way to just be in the world.
00:37:46.000 Right, but I mean, the cruelty and sadness of nature, does that ever make its way?
00:37:55.000 But, you know, the way I do it, there's got to be a lot of laughs on the front end.
00:38:01.000 Because nobody wants to spend their time, typically when they're alone, in the waiting room at the hospital or the airport, saying, oh, I want some more cruelty and sadness right now.
00:38:12.000 No, they think you've got to sell them that this thing is going to be fun and lighthearted.
00:38:17.000 And then, boom, coat hanger abortion.
00:38:20.000 Yeah.
00:38:21.000 Do you remember, and I might have talked about this, but the old Whoopi Goldberg routine where she's the only black surfer chick.
00:38:29.000 And she does it all in upspeak, valley girl language, and it's very fast.
00:38:33.000 It's from the very early 80s.
00:38:36.000 And she talks about being the only black beach girl, the only black surfer chick, and how she really has the hots for this one surfer dude.
00:38:44.000 And the two of them hook up, and she's in love, and she gets pregnant.
00:38:49.000 And the whole thing, people are roaring through the whole thing.
00:38:52.000 And then she brings it to the point where she's in a dirty public bathroom at the beach, pulling open a wire coat hanger and then stuffing it inside of herself and giving herself a coat hanger abortion on this filthy concrete floor.
00:39:08.000 And at that point, she's still Valley Girl Upspeak, and the audience is completely silent.
00:39:15.000 The audience is horrified.
00:39:18.000 And the contrast between this low slangy language telling a traumatic story, the disconnect there, makes it even more tragic.
00:39:28.000 And the fact that she's not acknowledging the horror makes it even more tragic and also strangely funny in this completely nihilistic, horrible way.
00:39:39.000 And at the end, you can hear a pin drop.
00:39:41.000 And at the end, she says, so y'all got to come down to the beach and hang out with us.
00:39:45.000 Just hang out with us.
00:39:46.000 And she's still a character in so much denial.
00:39:49.000 And she's forcing the audience to carry the horror themselves.
00:39:53.000 That is what I want to do.
00:39:55.000 Where you have them laughing and laughing and laughing.
00:39:59.000 And at the moment of the greatest laugh, you break their hearts really badly.
00:40:04.000 And animals can't really do that.
00:40:07.000 You know, nobody wants to see the cute kitten video where they all get dropped into the wood chipper.
00:40:14.000 Why do you like those deeply uncomfortable moments so much?
00:40:18.000 Because they're the same thing.
00:40:21.000 That laughter is that relief, that ongoing relief of tension.
00:40:26.000 You're creating tension and you're resolving it very quickly.
00:40:31.000 And you're allowing people to sort of build up a greater and greater tension because they're trusting you more.
00:40:37.000 And you're getting in under their radar because you're gradually assuring them that you're never going to take them too far.
00:40:45.000 And then once they're completely on board, then you take them too far.
00:40:50.000 And you completely break their hearts when they're deepest in the story.
00:40:55.000 And then you offer a kind of pale, lame denouement at the end.
00:40:59.000 Some silly, sad little bit of comfort.
00:41:02.000 Like Whoopi Goldberg does at the end of that Beach Girl story.
00:41:08.000 What is it about that feeling of discomfort that brings you joy?
00:41:15.000 Or that you enjoy giving to people that are reading your stuff?
00:41:19.000 Is it just that...
00:41:22.000 You don't like the cliché sloppy endings where everything is going to be fine and everything's great and the world is different in literature than it is in real life.
00:41:36.000 What is it about these moments of darkness where you do break everybody's heart?
00:41:42.000 Why do you enjoy them so much?
00:41:45.000 I enjoy them because they prove I'm not the only one.
00:41:48.000 I'm not the only one that's had these moments of complete humiliation or complete powerlessness.
00:41:58.000 One story I've always loved is my best friend in college.
00:42:02.000 His father was this mining professor and this very super macho guy.
00:42:06.000 And my best friend Franz was like the son that just wasn't turning out right.
00:42:12.000 And in their household, they had a bunch of kids, girls and boys.
00:42:15.000 And one day, Franz's dad had all of his beer-drinking football buds over to watch the Super Bowl.
00:42:22.000 And Franz found this old doll that had been around the house for decades.
00:42:27.000 It was called Sissy.
00:42:28.000 And it barely had a hair left on its little doll head.
00:42:31.000 And Franz sat there as maybe a five or six-year-old little boy.
00:42:35.000 And he very carefully untangled Sissy's hair.
00:42:39.000 And he backcombed it.
00:42:40.000 And he teased it.
00:42:41.000 And he dressed it into a big bouffant.
00:42:43.000 And he even got one of his mother's brooches.
00:42:45.000 And he put that brooch through the front of this beehive hairdo to hold it in place.
00:42:49.000 Very Marie Antoinette.
00:42:52.000 And he was so proud that he had turned this really decrepit, ugly thing into something passably pretty.
00:43:00.000 He had sort of redeemed it.
00:43:02.000 And then he took it to his father in front of all of his father's friends in the Super Bowl.
00:43:07.000 And he said, Daddy, Daddy, look!
00:43:09.000 I made Sissy pretty!
00:43:14.000 And his father was so humiliated that he beat Franz right there in front of their whole peer group.
00:43:24.000 He just beat Franz.
00:43:27.000 And the story is so painful.
00:43:31.000 But everybody's had a pain like that.
00:43:33.000 Everybody has done that thing out of innocence and expression that for whatever reason got you slammed.
00:43:42.000 And nobody talks about it.
00:43:45.000 Nobody talks about it because it's so painful and because everyone thinks they're the only one.
00:43:50.000 And so if I can take some of those stories and bring them to light, it creates this opening for everyone to say, oh my god, I once did this thing and my parents reacted badly to it or it destroyed my life and I've never been the same.
00:44:06.000 And when Franz told me that story, he was almost weeping.
00:44:09.000 But he was laughing as he was telling the story.
00:44:12.000 Because he had to keep laughing in order to keep telling the story.
00:44:17.000 And that's what I'm always shooting for.
00:44:22.000 Those are the moments, like, those kind of stories are the ones that hit people the hardest because you know that the child has no idea that what they're doing is going to be uncomfortable for anybody.
00:44:33.000 Like, they have real pride in it.
00:44:35.000 Like, here's a parallel to the story that you told before, I guess three years ago.
00:44:40.000 We were talking about the writing workshop that you had done where you were talking about someone else's story about how they were jacking off in a jacuzzi and their anus got prolapsed and this woman at the writing workshop I felt comfortable enough because you told that story to tell her story about being in the Girl Scouts or the Brownies,
00:45:07.000 the Brownies before the Girl Scouts?
00:45:09.000 The heating pad story.
00:45:09.000 The heating pad story, where she had put this vibrating heating pad on her vagina and had her friends do the same thing and the mom came home And she was only seven years old.
00:45:18.000 She thought it was cool.
00:45:19.000 Like, look, I found this thing.
00:45:21.000 And then the mom beat her with the wire that was plugged into the wall and called her a dirty whore, and she never orgasmed again.
00:45:30.000 And she said, in summation, That if I could tell the story that I had just told that was so self-debasing and so humiliating, but also make it funny, then that gave her proof that she could make her own story funny.
00:45:48.000 And that maybe she could someday go back to her mother and say, remember that heating pad.
00:45:53.000 And that maybe ultimately she could have an orgasm.
00:45:57.000 Because until you can kind of reveal these things and resolve them, they run the rest of your life and you're never going to get beyond them.
00:46:06.000 Yeah, especially when you don't see it coming.
00:46:10.000 When you're just a child and then you do something that you think is totally fine and all of a sudden you're getting the fuck beaten out of you and you don't understand why.
00:46:20.000 All you did is make a doll pretty.
00:46:22.000 Like what happened?
00:46:24.000 Well, and it occurs in so many different ways.
00:46:29.000 Several years ago, I got a job house sitting a farm that was famous for being haunted.
00:46:34.000 It had all these paranormal studies.
00:46:36.000 So as soon as the owners were gone, I invited a bunch of psychics out to do a seance.
00:46:41.000 And I wanted to know.
00:46:43.000 And my father had been murdered about five years before that.
00:46:49.000 And one of these psychic women that I'd never met before He said, there is a man standing with you.
00:46:56.000 He's wearing a white t-shirt.
00:46:58.000 And he's holding something wooden.
00:47:01.000 And he is really, really sorry he did what he did.
00:47:04.000 But he was a very, very young man at the time.
00:47:07.000 He was only 23 or 24. He's holding something wooden and he's about to dismember you?
00:47:13.000 Does that make any sense whatsoever?
00:47:16.000 And I just kind of nodded my head and I said, I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:47:21.000 But when I was maybe three or four years old, my mother had taken my siblings into town.
00:47:28.000 And I was, you know, in our rural farm.
00:47:31.000 And I put a fender washer around one of my fingers.
00:47:35.000 And I couldn't get it off.
00:47:37.000 And so I waited until a finger was swollen up and turning sort of purple-black.
00:47:42.000 And I went to my father and I said, can you help me with this washer thing?
00:47:47.000 And my father had said, I can help you, but I want you to learn a lesson.
00:47:51.000 That there are consequences to everything you do.
00:47:55.000 And I will help you with a washer if you accept responsibility for your actions for the rest of your life.
00:48:05.000 And he took me and we had to wash the axe that we kill chickens with.
00:48:09.000 We had this hatchet.
00:48:10.000 And he took me and we sharpened the hatchet and we washed it really thoroughly so there were no germs on it.
00:48:16.000 And then he had me kneel down by the chopping block and put my hand on the chopping block.
00:48:21.000 And at the time, there was no drama.
00:48:24.000 It was just complete clarity.
00:48:26.000 My father was helping me to resolve the situation.
00:48:30.000 And at the last moment, he missed my hand with the axe.
00:48:33.000 The axe went into the chopping block, and then we went inside and used dish soap to take the washer off.
00:48:40.000 And I knew that story would just make my mother insane.
00:48:44.000 So I never told anybody my entire life that story.
00:48:48.000 I never told my siblings.
00:48:49.000 I never told anyone.
00:48:51.000 And I had more or less forgotten that story Until this woman I had never met said, there is a man standing over you in a white t-shirt and he's holding something wooden and he's really sorry and it's something about dismemberment.
00:49:10.000 But he was very young and he handled it the way a very young father would.
00:49:16.000 I was so shocked in that moment.
00:49:19.000 And so sometimes the story isn't always a kind of...
00:49:24.000 It isn't always a kind of tragedy of the child being punished for doing something good.
00:49:31.000 It can come from so many different directions.
00:49:33.000 And the point is to bring those stories forward.
00:49:35.000 Because when you do, you create the opportunity for everyone else with a similar experience to avoid something that they have suppressed for so long.
00:49:47.000 How accurate was her depiction?
00:49:50.000 Do you remember what your father was wearing?
00:49:52.000 He always wore a white t-shirt.
00:49:53.000 He was probably wearing Levi's.
00:49:55.000 She said that he was really meticulous about his hair.
00:49:58.000 And that was the age of Vitalis.
00:50:00.000 And my father in Vitalis, he was just, you know, his hair always had to be perfect.
00:50:06.000 She really hit it on a lot of different levels.
00:50:08.000 And then she turned to a good friend of mine.
00:50:11.000 And she said, and there is a woman with you.
00:50:14.000 And she is sprinkling you with tiny blue flowers.
00:50:19.000 Does this make any sense whatsoever?
00:50:21.000 She's standing over you and she is just raining you with small blue flowers.
00:50:28.000 Does that mean anything to you?
00:50:31.000 And my friend, Ina, started to sob at that point.
00:50:35.000 She was uncontrollably sobbing because no one knew this.
00:50:40.000 No one in our peer group But every year, Ina would secretly go to her mother's grave.
00:50:45.000 Her mother died when Ina was a teenager.
00:50:47.000 But every year she would go there on the anniversary of her mother's death, and she would sprinkle forget-me-not seeds on her mother's grave.
00:50:55.000 And she had never told anyone she did that.
00:50:59.000 And the idea that someone would somehow pick up on this image of tiny blue flowers being in turn sprinkled on Ina It was really another one of those uncanny moments.
00:51:13.000 And we can't put those together.
00:51:14.000 We can't look for a pattern and we can't sort of express them unless someone expresses them first.
00:51:22.000 Is that the only experience you've ever had with psychics?
00:51:25.000 You know, I've had two others, but they were really unpleasant because they were really unresolved.
00:51:32.000 Boy, when I was maybe 19, I knew someone who did numerology.
00:51:39.000 And I provided all these numbers, date and time of your birth, all these numbers.
00:51:45.000 And weeks later, I asked him what turned up.
00:51:49.000 And he said, it is so unpleasant, it is so horrible, that in good conscience, I can't tell you.
00:51:58.000 You don't want to know.
00:51:59.000 You're too young to know what horribleness lies ahead of you.
00:52:03.000 And I can't tell you.
00:52:06.000 And that was the end of that.
00:52:08.000 So, great.
00:52:09.000 And then one of the, more or less the night that I started writing Fight Club, I was invited to a New Year's Eve party.
00:52:18.000 And there was a girl there doing tarot cards.
00:52:22.000 And she did a reading.
00:52:24.000 She laid all her cards out.
00:52:26.000 And she looked at the cards and she seemed kind of stymied.
00:52:32.000 And she said, I have never seen such bad cards in my life.
00:52:36.000 I have never seen such horrible, horrible cards.
00:52:39.000 I can't even tell you.
00:52:40.000 You don't want to know what these cards seem to indicate.
00:52:45.000 Yeah, I don't want you to have to live with this knowledge, so I'm not going to tell you what the cards predict.
00:52:51.000 So those were my only two kind of psychic friends' experiences, and they were both so unpleasant that I've never really sought out those experiences.
00:53:00.000 And how long ago were they...
00:53:03.000 Was the numerology one and the card reading, how long ago was this?
00:53:07.000 The numerology one would have been in like 1981, and the card reading would have been in like 1983, no, 1994 or 1993. But has there been anything in your life that was so horrific that they couldn't imagine telling you?
00:53:23.000 You know, except for my father's murder, not really.
00:53:27.000 Maybe that was it?
00:53:28.000 Maybe that was it, but boy, that doesn't seem like it's big enough.
00:53:34.000 I don't know.
00:53:35.000 How was your father murdered?
00:53:38.000 Dad.
00:53:39.000 Dad was murdered in May of 1999. He had answered a personals ad for a woman who was looking for a boyfriend.
00:53:53.000 And the ad was headlined Kismet.
00:53:56.000 I believe that's the Arab word for fate.
00:54:00.000 And dad met with her.
00:54:03.000 Her name was Rita.
00:54:04.000 She was a lawyer.
00:54:05.000 She had worked in the prison system in the Midwest.
00:54:09.000 And Dad was really, really taken with her.
00:54:11.000 She was really bright and really smart.
00:54:14.000 And she had an ex-husband who had sexually abused her daughter from a different marriage.
00:54:22.000 And they were pressing charges against his ex-husband, and he was going to go to prison.
00:54:27.000 And she had met him while he was in prison, and she was doing legal work.
00:54:31.000 And she had helped him get out of prison.
00:54:34.000 So she helped him get out of prison.
00:54:36.000 She'd married him.
00:54:37.000 He had abused her daughter.
00:54:39.000 She divorced him.
00:54:41.000 She was prosecuting him to send him back to prison.
00:54:45.000 Then she met my father.
00:54:47.000 And this ex-husband had said that if he ever caught her with another man, he would kill them both.
00:54:54.000 So my father Was going to pick her up and she was going to stay at his house in the mountains until the time of the trial.
00:55:06.000 And as he was going to pick her up, he was going down this mountain road on his property and a giant boulder broke free and it rolled down the hillside and it blocked the road.
00:55:18.000 He couldn't get out.
00:55:19.000 So he spent the day with a lever forcing this boulder off the road.
00:55:25.000 And then he took a couple extra hours and he made a sign that said Kismet Rock so that he could label this boulder as a kind of landmark.
00:55:33.000 But when he brought her back to sequester her, And he cleaned the house incredibly.
00:55:39.000 The house was just neat as a pen and stocked with all this food.
00:55:44.000 And, you know, he really planned to have this fantastically sort of idyllic time sequestered with his new girlfriend.
00:55:52.000 And he labeled the rock to surprise her.
00:55:55.000 And then he went to pick her up.
00:55:58.000 And when he went to pick her up, the ex-husband showed up and he shot my father.
00:56:04.000 And my father and the woman took refuge in her house.
00:56:10.000 And the man set fire to the house.
00:56:13.000 And the house eventually collapsed.
00:56:17.000 And the coroner says that they were both dead before the fire got to them.
00:56:23.000 And the coroner says that because of the angle of the shot, my father probably took about 20 minutes to die because the bullet ruptured his diaphragm.
00:56:31.000 So with every breath, he would have been accumulating air between the lung and the diaphragm.
00:56:37.000 And so every breath would have been more and more shallow because his lungs would have been more and more constricted.
00:56:43.000 By this air above the diaphragm, but that eventually he'd suffocated.
00:56:50.000 And all of this sounds horrible and tragic, but it forms this fantastic pattern in my father's life because my father, when he was very small, he lived in Northern Idaho with this enormous Ukrainian family.
00:57:10.000 And his father went crazy one day.
00:57:15.000 This is all public record.
00:57:16.000 I've talked about this a lot.
00:57:18.000 But his father took a rifle and walked around the house and tried to kill him, my father, and ultimately killed my father's, well, killed his wife, my father's mother, and then killed himself.
00:57:35.000 But my father's earliest memories are of hiding underneath a bed as his father walked around the house in logging boots with a rifle calling his name, trying to get him to come out so that he could be killed.
00:57:47.000 Jesus Christ.
00:57:49.000 And so my father spent his entire life sort of looking for his mother because as his father was trying to kill him, he was trying to find his mother who at that point had been killed.
00:58:02.000 And so my father really had this kind of serial pattern with women.
00:58:07.000 He was always looking, in a way, for the woman.
00:58:10.000 The woman.
00:58:12.000 And ultimately, he was shot by the man with a gun.
00:58:20.000 And one of the uncanny things is that their bodies were only preserved because a bed on the second floor of this structure, as it was burning, the bed fell over their bodies and insulated their bodies.
00:58:33.000 And my father had escaped his father by hiding underneath a bed when he was a small child.
00:58:41.000 And the fact that the Lonely Hearts ad was headlined Kismet, and the fact that this boulder rolled down in front of my father's car just as he was leaving, that prevented him from getting there in time where he probably would have been able to escape before the ex-boyfriend arrived.
00:58:59.000 Or was...
00:59:00.000 There's so many odd, bizarre coincidences and synchronicities.
00:59:06.000 You know, you could sort of...
00:59:07.000 You would have to really...
00:59:11.000 Dismiss a lot of things in order to make this not something significant.
00:59:18.000 Not fate or not some reoccurring theme woven into time.
00:59:25.000 And in a way, understanding all these different aspects of it, it provides a comfort that it doesn't seem like this random thing.
00:59:34.000 It seems like some aspect of my father's life that was coming full circle.
00:59:40.000 And it was finally being completed.
00:59:43.000 And maybe I am clutching at straws and I'm just a kind of person looking for significance, which is what we all are.
00:59:51.000 But I'll take comfort where I can find it.
00:59:54.000 Did he ever explain to you He was a great guy until he went to work in the shipyards in World War II,
01:00:18.000 and he was struck in the head by a block and tackle.
01:00:21.000 And after that, Grandpa Nick was crazy.
01:00:23.000 And half the family says that he was always crazy, that he was always narcissistic and violent and not a good person.
01:00:36.000 Narcissistic and violent is pretty common, but narcissistic and violent with a head injury, I think it's probably both.
01:00:44.000 If I had a guess, knowing what I know about head injuries, I have a lot of experience with people that have had head injuries and because of all the work that I've done with the UFC and just paying attention and reading a lot on brain trauma.
01:01:00.000 You know, bringing back to the Roseanne Barr story, you know, that's what made Roseanne Barr.
01:01:05.000 She was hit by a car when she was 15. Roseanne Barr was sent flying through the air.
01:01:09.000 She was driving, or she was walking across the street when she was 15 years old on the way to school, and a woman had the sun in her face and the windshield that she couldn't see and hit Roseanne Barr.
01:01:19.000 Roseanne Barr was a straight-A student, was a whiz at math, and then spent the next nine months in a mental health institute afterwards.
01:01:28.000 She couldn't count anymore and literally was knocked crazy.
01:01:34.000 So when Roseanne Barr's thing happened and she got cancelled, I went out of my way to reach out to her.
01:01:41.000 First of all, because as a comic, I think she's one of the most important comedians in history.
01:01:47.000 If I look at the top great comics, she's in the top 20. People forget, but during her time when she was on top, Roseanne Barr was a monster.
01:01:57.000 She was so funny.
01:01:58.000 She was such a good stand-up.
01:02:00.000 And on her show, the original Roseanne show, she was so good.
01:02:04.000 It was such an important cultural milestone, that show.
01:02:08.000 The show was created by brain trauma.
01:02:11.000 Something about brain trauma leaves people impulsive.
01:02:15.000 It makes them wild.
01:02:17.000 They're reckless.
01:02:19.000 A lot of times more prone to violence.
01:02:22.000 And these actions are directly created to CTE, which is I am so glad you went down that road.
01:02:34.000 And who is it that I can't think about?
01:02:37.000 The guy who did the vision studies that ultimately became motion pictures?
01:02:43.000 Meyer Bridge.
01:02:45.000 There's so much anecdotal evidence about people with traumatic brain injuries becoming geniuses or having their breakthrough after being struck in the head.
01:02:56.000 And Meyer Bridge was a guy who had failed at everything.
01:02:59.000 He sold China.
01:03:00.000 He sold encyclopedias.
01:03:01.000 He was a kind of late 19th century failure.
01:03:05.000 He failed at everything.
01:03:06.000 And then he was going across the country in a stagecoach.
01:03:10.000 The stagecoach tumbled.
01:03:12.000 Meyer Bridge was in a coma, and when he came to, he was Meyer Bridge.
01:03:17.000 He was brilliant.
01:03:18.000 He was the man who more or less invented motion pictures.
01:03:21.000 He was a hero.
01:03:23.000 He was kind of the Tesla of his time.
01:03:27.000 And he was nothing before the stagecoach incident.
01:03:31.000 And there's so much anecdotal evidence that shows that when people have been struck in the head, They come out as a kind of savant or really bright in some way.
01:03:44.000 I think they come out with less fear because they come out more impulsive.
01:03:50.000 That's one of the...
01:03:53.000 More significant and reoccurring themes when it comes to traumatic brain injuries.
01:03:59.000 People are impulsive.
01:04:01.000 And I think impulsive people are more likely to take chances.
01:04:05.000 And I think that ability to take chances sometimes pays dividends.
01:04:10.000 Like, you can become more successful because you're more willing to take risks.
01:04:15.000 You're not afraid.
01:04:17.000 Paralysis by analysis is what haunts so many people.
01:04:21.000 Because they just constantly think about, well, what if I do that?
01:04:24.000 Well, what if it fails?
01:04:25.000 What if it this?
01:04:25.000 What if it that?
01:04:26.000 Whereas wild people are just like, fuck it.
01:04:29.000 Let's do it.
01:04:30.000 Let's try it.
01:04:30.000 Let's see.
01:04:31.000 Let's go.
01:04:31.000 And those people tend to take more chances.
01:04:36.000 And I think if you take more chances, you're more likely to have more breakthroughs and more successes.
01:04:41.000 And to be less insecure would be a pretty...
01:04:47.000 Positive factor, if you consider someone who's doing something risky, like with Roseanne, stand-up comedy.
01:04:54.000 Sam Kinnison, same story.
01:04:55.000 Was hit by a car when he was five years old.
01:04:58.000 His brother wrote about it.
01:05:00.000 His brother Bill wrote about it, and he wrote a book called Brother Sam, or My Brother Sam, and it was about Kinnison, how there's like Kinnison 1 and Kinnison 2, When Sam was a boy, he was a normal kid.
01:05:14.000 Everything was fine.
01:05:15.000 Then he was hit by a car when he was five years old.
01:05:17.000 I think he was five.
01:05:18.000 And then became a fucking wild man.
01:05:21.000 Just once he was hit by a car, you just couldn't contain him.
01:05:24.000 He was crazy.
01:05:26.000 He was like, when he was a preacher, he was the wildest, most irreverent preacher.
01:05:31.000 He had just violent tendencies.
01:05:34.000 There was a sign at the comedy store.
01:05:37.000 That for whatever fucking stupid reason they fixed, but it was a sign in the back parking lot where there was a bullet hole in it where Sam had pulled out a revolver.
01:05:47.000 I think it was because he was in some sort of a dispute with one of the other comics and decided to shoot this sign.
01:05:53.000 We would always go by that sign and touch the bullet hole like this is where fucking Sam Kennison shot like you don't crazy have to be to bring a gun to the Comedy Store and just shoot a sign and you're you're a performer there not just a performer But the most celebrated performer there at the time,
01:06:09.000 you know, this is in the 80s when he was I mean, there's a period of time, I think, from like 1986 to 1988 where Sam Kinison was the greatest comic that ever lived.
01:06:20.000 He couldn't sustain it because he was doing so much coke and he was partying and he wasn't really writing because he was just into being a celebrity and just having a lot of sex and doing a lot of drugs, but that wild, chaotic That irreverent,
01:06:37.000 risk-taking behavior is probably directly connected to him getting hit by a car.
01:06:42.000 Just a tiny tangent before we go right back there, but are you aware of the histoplasmosis culture?
01:06:49.000 Histoplasmosis.
01:06:50.000 I'm aware of toxoplasmosis.
01:06:52.000 Toxoplasmosis.
01:06:52.000 Yeah.
01:06:53.000 The parasite.
01:06:54.000 Right.
01:06:55.000 Fighters going to Mexico to get it?
01:06:56.000 No.
01:06:57.000 You haven't heard?
01:06:58.000 Ah!
01:06:58.000 I didn't know they'd go to get it, really?
01:07:00.000 Yeah.
01:07:00.000 Apparently, you can go to...
01:07:02.000 There's been this program where you can go down to Mexico and be exposed to toxoplasmosis because they're finding people who carry the parasite are much more reckless and aggressive.
01:07:14.000 Yes.
01:07:14.000 And they have a higher pain threshold.
01:07:17.000 And among boxers and fighters and wrestlers, everybody wants to have toxo.
01:07:22.000 Wow!
01:07:23.000 You did not know that?
01:07:24.000 No, Google that.
01:07:25.000 I need to know that.
01:07:26.000 Because, you know, I interviewed Sapolsky from Stanford, who's one of the premier experts in toxoplasmosis.
01:07:34.000 Is he the Polish guy?
01:07:35.000 Yes.
01:07:36.000 Okay.
01:07:36.000 Sapolsky found that when he was doing his residency, they would find when people had motorcycle crashes, and one of the doctors told him, check the victim for toxo.
01:07:48.000 And it turns out there's a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims of accidents that are positive for toxoplasmosis because this cat parasite makes them reckless.
01:08:01.000 We should probably explain the parasite to people that don't know what we're talking about.
01:08:06.000 Toxoplasmosis is a parasite that grows inside cats' digestive systems.
01:08:12.000 And the way it does this, it's one of the most fascinating evolutionary processes.
01:08:17.000 It tricks rats into being sexually attracted to cat urine.
01:08:23.000 So literally, their testicles swell, their dicks get hard, and they become fearless.
01:08:29.000 It rewires their sexual reward system to make them horny for cat piss.
01:08:34.000 And so there's videos of toxo-infected rats just running up to cats, and the cats are like, what the fuck?
01:08:41.000 The cats are trying to get away from them.
01:08:42.000 The cats don't understand why this rat is running up against them.
01:08:46.000 The rat is literally trying to get eaten.
01:08:48.000 So this parasite rewires the brains of the rat, gets the rat to go near the cat, gets the cat to eat the rat so that this parasite can grow inside of the cat's gut.
01:09:02.000 And then they tell humans, you have to stay away, women in particular, when they're pregnant, stay away from cat litter.
01:09:09.000 Because if you're near cat shit, you might get this toxoplasmosis and it could severely impair the developmental process of the child when it's inside the womb.
01:09:21.000 And then, oh, before I forget, I've got to do a shout-out to Sassy.
01:09:25.000 Okay, Sassy is a Boston Terrier, one of my students' terriers, and it's a very sweet dog, so please don't cut that out.
01:09:33.000 Okay, shout-out to Sassy.
01:09:35.000 You know, I've never really told this story, and I'm going to tell it in a kind of oblique way, but I was a fantastically shitty, cowardly writer.
01:09:46.000 I wrote, when I see bad student writing, It is never as bad as my student writing.
01:09:52.000 I have never had a student, no matter how miserable a storyteller they were, that was as bad a storyteller as I was.
01:10:01.000 And one day I was coming out of the gym in downtown Portland.
01:10:04.000 It was on a Friday night.
01:10:07.000 It was raining.
01:10:09.000 It was early dark, so it was probably 8 o'clock.
01:10:11.000 I was going to a cash machine at 6th and Morrison.
01:10:15.000 No, 6th and Washington.
01:10:18.000 And I was on my Schwinn bicycle.
01:10:21.000 And as I came around a corner, a whole mob of teenagers slammed me.
01:10:28.000 And they all started beating on me with their fists.
01:10:31.000 And they were all yelling numbers.
01:10:32.000 They were yelling, 10 points, 20 points, 50 points!
01:10:37.000 And because I was on my bike, I was able to brace myself.
01:10:40.000 And I didn't fall all the way over, thank God.
01:10:43.000 And as they ran off, I got back up.
01:10:47.000 But I was really beat up and my jaw was broken.
01:10:50.000 And as they're running off, they're laughing and howling.
01:10:54.000 And I called the police.
01:10:56.000 I said, you know, I've just been beat up really bad.
01:10:58.000 And the police said, don't take it personally.
01:11:00.000 It's just a game these teenagers do downtown in big mobs.
01:11:05.000 It wasn't you.
01:11:07.000 And they didn't even take a report.
01:11:09.000 They wouldn't take a report.
01:11:11.000 But after that beating...
01:11:15.000 I started writing really good stuff.
01:11:18.000 No, seriously, I started writing stuff that was off the charts different than what I wrote before that beating.
01:11:26.000 And I'm not saying go out and slam your head against a concrete wall, but it was night and day.
01:11:32.000 I went from writing really shitty, you know, fake Stephen King stuff to writing stuff that my teacher was really shocked by.
01:11:46.000 And it was...
01:11:47.000 I could still hear those kids just pounding on me.
01:11:49.000 I also had a hoodie up, thank God.
01:11:52.000 And so a lot of the blows got kind of, you know...
01:11:55.000 They fell against the side of the hoodie, so it wasn't knuckles to my face.
01:11:59.000 It was to the woolen hoodie.
01:12:02.000 And I was also very young.
01:12:04.000 But that was night and day in my writing process.
01:12:08.000 I guarantee it had a fact.
01:12:10.000 It had a factor, rather.
01:12:12.000 There's...
01:12:15.000 Jordan Peterson, when he talks about rough play, this is kind of a jump, but I think that is why Fight Club has resonated so well with so many people, because they never had that kind of rough play with...
01:12:30.000 Especially maybe their father.
01:12:32.000 Because I'm not sure if mothers can really provide that rough play.
01:12:36.000 And so when I think when people see Fight Club, there's an aspect of that unexpressed rough play that resonates with them, is I wish I'd had that rough play as a small child.
01:12:50.000 It was very different for me because as a boy growing up, I spent a lot of time doing martial arts.
01:12:59.000 So I was sparring a lot from the time I was 14 to the time I was 21. I was hitting the head a lot.
01:13:06.000 And when I see things like Fight Club, I enjoyed the movie because I can separate My idea of what would that be like if it was a real person from fiction and enjoying it.
01:13:22.000 But when I see people just willing to get punched and willing to get hit in the head, I know way too much about the consequences of brain trauma.
01:13:32.000 It's such a roll of the dice.
01:13:34.000 I know people that have been hit in the head and never been the same.
01:13:38.000 And they live in darkness, meaning they live in a cloud of depression.
01:13:42.000 Their brain doesn't work anymore unless they seek treatment.
01:13:46.000 And there's some pretty novel treatments that are available now from a lot of the work that's been done with soldiers, PTSD. They've done a lot of work with...
01:13:54.000 Magnets.
01:13:55.000 They use magnets to sort of rewire the brain and stimulate areas of the brain like very, very powerful magnets and there's been some therapy that is really promising in that way.
01:14:05.000 I know there's a female mixed martial arts fighter named Kat Zingano and she had some really good Success with that where she was like really uncoordinated from one bad beating that she had fucked up her hormones fucked up her cortisol levels Like she couldn't stop gaining weight like her body was all fucked up from one fight that she actually won But as a fight against this woman named Amanda Nunez who's one of the greatest if not the greatest female fighters of all time She's a monster and she just knocks everyone senseless and she had cat in real trouble in the first
01:14:35.000 round but cat survived and And we'll end up beating her later in the fight and stopping her.
01:14:39.000 But the consequences of the beating she took in that fight haunted her for years.
01:14:44.000 And maybe still do.
01:14:45.000 I haven't talked to her in a while.
01:14:46.000 Maybe still do.
01:14:47.000 But head trauma is one of the most risky things.
01:14:53.000 For someone like you that maybe got something good out of it.
01:14:59.000 Maybe got a danger or an anger or just a little bit of recklessness from it.
01:15:05.000 For every one story like that, I know so many stories of people who are just gone.
01:15:09.000 And I've known guys from the beginning of their career where I've met them when they were like 21, 22 years old.
01:15:15.000 Maybe I've called their fights, and maybe I've seen them in gyms training with them.
01:15:20.000 And then I see them when they're 34, 35, and they're fucked.
01:15:23.000 They're fucked.
01:15:24.000 I can see it in their face.
01:15:26.000 I can see the weirdness in their gait.
01:15:28.000 They lose some of their coordination.
01:15:30.000 And you can see the way they even move around in training.
01:15:33.000 They take shorter steps.
01:15:35.000 They look like they're less stable.
01:15:38.000 The brain's ability to communicate with the body has been beaten out.
01:15:44.000 It's confused.
01:15:46.000 Their reflexes are gone.
01:15:48.000 It's all just from getting hit in the head.
01:15:51.000 So this is basically a kids don't try this at home.
01:15:54.000 Don't try this at home.
01:15:55.000 I mean, I would let my kids fight before I'd let my kids play football.
01:16:00.000 Because I think football, there's something about that running into each other that's the worst.
01:16:05.000 I think you can learn how to fight and learn how to fight really well and avoid most of that shit.
01:16:11.000 I think I got brain damage, for sure.
01:16:14.000 I don't know how much.
01:16:16.000 I think you probably got brain damage from that day.
01:16:19.000 If you got your jaw broken, you got hit pretty hard.
01:16:22.000 You know, I'm not sure whether it's Jermaine, but my father was a boxer.
01:16:28.000 He was a champion boxer in the Navy.
01:16:31.000 And I knew that my parents' marriage was over the day we came home from school and all my father's boxing trophies were in the trash.
01:16:39.000 She'd thrown them all away.
01:16:40.000 So, yeah, it was just part of the equation.
01:16:43.000 Yeah.
01:16:44.000 Well, there's a lot of people that got hit in the head that didn't know that it carries lifelong consequences.
01:16:50.000 Too many people thought of it as being frivolous, like they would spar.
01:16:54.000 In the gym and they would spar essentially like a fight.
01:16:56.000 Like a lot of the sparring that we did when we were kids, it wasn't really sparring.
01:17:00.000 It was fighting.
01:17:01.000 You were fighting.
01:17:02.000 Like you would go full blast all the time.
01:17:04.000 People got knocked out in the gym all the time.
01:17:06.000 And then they would be back in the gym a few days later sparring again, which is like literally the worst thing you could ever do when you have like significant head trauma.
01:17:13.000 But, you know, there's also people that get hit in the head and they learn Spanish.
01:17:17.000 All of a sudden they can play the piano.
01:17:19.000 It's like, the brain is fucking weird, man.
01:17:22.000 The brain, like, just the chemistry of the brain is weird, right?
01:17:26.000 Like how everyone's very so greatly.
01:17:28.000 But the fact that you could have a knock to it, and then all of a sudden you develop new talents...
01:17:34.000 Well, and also there's the aspect of comfort because there's that whole Temple Grandin group of people who find comfort in slamming their heads against things.
01:17:43.000 You know, severely autistic children, they slam their head against the wall because there's a kind of comforting chemical thing that happens in doing so.
01:17:53.000 Oh, really?
01:17:54.000 I didn't know that.
01:17:55.000 I just thought it was like a tick or something.
01:17:57.000 Like when they're slamming their head against the wall, there's comfort in the impact?
01:18:01.000 Yeah, I understood that it was a comforting behavior.
01:18:08.000 I don't know, man.
01:18:09.000 That is so interesting about that one incident when you were assaulted.
01:18:15.000 I wonder if that's it, man.
01:18:16.000 It's like a mini sort of Kinnison situation or a Roseanne Barr situation.
01:18:21.000 And the only way people can make these patterns, can identify these patterns, is if people come forward with these anecdotes.
01:18:30.000 And, you know, anecdotes ultimately will lead to something empirical, but there are beginnings.
01:18:37.000 Yeah, they're a beginning.
01:18:38.000 There's enough of them out there that I think we get a map of the territory.
01:18:42.000 There's something there for sure.
01:18:44.000 And a lot of times people have forgotten these incidents.
01:18:47.000 They think that they don't, they're just one of, that they didn't change anything.
01:18:52.000 But then later when they can identify them according to a major life change, like the fact that my writing went from garbage to, you know, something sellable.
01:19:04.000 Do you think there's a possibility that just the trauma, like the emotional trauma of being assaulted and the anger and just the pain that comes with that and the fear that comes with that might have just...
01:19:18.000 Did you change the way you view the world enough so that you were willing to express yourself in a more dangerous way?
01:19:24.000 No, you know, I'd had very frightening things before that, but they didn't involve a physical component.
01:19:35.000 You know, I'd been robbed, I'd been humiliated, just, you know, different public things like that.
01:19:43.000 Yeah, that was the only time I was ever really physically assaulted, assaulted.
01:19:49.000 Yeah.
01:19:52.000 It's wild.
01:19:53.000 That might have been it.
01:19:54.000 I mean, look, there's a history of it.
01:19:57.000 I think maybe every MFA program should include at least one good headshot.
01:20:04.000 Have you ever seen chess boxing?
01:20:06.000 Chess boxing?
01:20:07.000 No.
01:20:08.000 Really kind of dumb, but also kind of interesting.
01:20:12.000 They would do like a round of boxing, beat the shit out of each other, and then play chess.
01:20:18.000 Ah, okay.
01:20:19.000 Yeah, they combined the two of them together.
01:20:21.000 It's apparently very popular.
01:20:24.000 See, these guys.
01:20:26.000 So did they play chess before?
01:20:27.000 It looks like they played chess before.
01:20:30.000 Yeah.
01:20:30.000 Also, okay.
01:20:32.000 And then they go to the corners.
01:20:34.000 They put gloves on.
01:20:36.000 And do they play chess afterwards as well?
01:20:40.000 Are they Russian?
01:20:41.000 Is this like the two great Russian passions?
01:20:43.000 Yeah, chess and...
01:20:44.000 They look Russian as fuck, don't they?
01:20:46.000 They do, they do.
01:20:47.000 Look at them.
01:20:48.000 Now that guy looks like he's been hit before.
01:20:50.000 And he's playing...
01:20:52.000 Yeah, they're sweaty.
01:20:53.000 Yeah, they're breathing super heavy.
01:20:54.000 And their mouth's never closed.
01:20:55.000 So is it a round of boxing, a round of chess, a round of boxing, a round of chess?
01:21:00.000 Is that it?
01:21:01.000 This is from 2008. I don't know that it caught on.
01:21:03.000 What are they listening to?
01:21:05.000 Oh yeah, good call.
01:21:06.000 Yeah, right?
01:21:07.000 What are they listening to?
01:21:08.000 And gives up the fight.
01:21:10.000 That he's totally missed.
01:21:12.000 Nikolai withdraws his knight to reveal a double attack on Frank's bishop and queen.
01:21:16.000 And what do you know?
01:21:17.000 He doesn't see that his queen can be taken.
01:21:21.000 After Nikolai's body shots, this is the killer body blow.
01:21:24.000 The Russian takes front.
01:21:26.000 You've been hit in the head.
01:21:27.000 I think that would be the worst thing to do, to play chess.
01:21:30.000 Like, if I'm hit in the head, like, I don't, uh, like, I haven't done any hard sparring in a long time, but I had a bad skiing, not a bad skiing accident, I had a skiing accident two years ago.
01:21:43.000 Where I was going around a corner and this lady was losing control.
01:21:47.000 She didn't know how to ski very well and she was just sliding right into the trail and I had two options.
01:21:52.000 Hit her or go around her and surely fall.
01:21:55.000 And so I tried to go around her and I wiped out and I banged the back of my head off the ground hard.
01:22:02.000 Like bang!
01:22:03.000 Like really hard.
01:22:05.000 And I cracked my shin.
01:22:07.000 I developed an insufficiency fracture in my shin, which is like where the shin bone meets the cartilage cracked.
01:22:13.000 It was pretty painful, but I could stand on it.
01:22:17.000 But then I got on the ski lift with my daughter, who was 10 at the time, and I I just fell over and my wife saw me fall over she goes you fell over like an old man like an uncoordinated old man like I had a hard time getting up my coordination was all off like everything was off and for the rest of the day I was like dizzy and confused and I recovered like the next day I was okay but I never got checked out but I'm pretty sure from all the head trauma that I've had in the past that was a concussion and Pretty sure.
01:22:46.000 It was hard enough.
01:22:47.000 I mean, I went down, man, and my head fucking...
01:22:51.000 I had a helmet on, which helps, but my head bounced off the hard, you know, packed down ice of the ski slope.
01:23:00.000 But if I had to play a game after that, oh my god, that'd be so fucking stupid.
01:23:06.000 This is going down another...
01:23:08.000 Ah, screw it.
01:23:11.000 You know, my philosophy is I can tell the truth because history can do without one person.
01:23:20.000 It doesn't really matter.
01:23:21.000 You know, there have been a lot of people, there will be a lot of people, so it doesn't matter how bad I mess up.
01:23:30.000 And if I mess up and I actually say something, decent.
01:23:34.000 But sometimes I wish there was somebody around.
01:23:37.000 Do you remember Flannery O'Connor, A Good Man is Hard to Find, the short story that she is most famous for?
01:23:44.000 I don't remember this.
01:23:45.000 At the end, the outlaw shoots the old woman.
01:23:50.000 It's a fantastic moment in fiction.
01:23:52.000 And he turns to his sons and he says...
01:23:57.000 She would have been a decent person if there'd been someone around to, I think he says, slap her every day of her life.
01:24:06.000 Yeah.
01:24:07.000 It so doesn't work on every level, but the story is magnificent.
01:24:12.000 Flannery O'Connor gets away with it.
01:24:14.000 And sometimes I just find my idol running so fast that I wish I could call room service and say, would you send somebody up to hit me really hard?
01:24:24.000 Yeah.
01:24:26.000 Because my friends who are fighters, they say that after you've lost in a fight, your idol is knocked down and you're so at peace and your testosterone levels dive and they stay low for quite a period.
01:24:43.000 And it's all set up so that you don't go back into competition before your body is fully recovered.
01:24:49.000 You're not going to go back into a fight with an injury.
01:24:52.000 And so sometimes I think that if I could just, you know, have a punching service and just...
01:25:00.000 No, seriously.
01:25:01.000 In the old days, you had a car.
01:25:03.000 You went out and you started your car on a cold day.
01:25:06.000 And it would idle really high.
01:25:08.000 And it would idle until it reached a certain core temperature.
01:25:12.000 And then the carburetor would knock down the idle.
01:25:15.000 And sometimes, especially as a much younger man, I would just feel like my idle was set way too high.
01:25:23.000 And rather than take medication, if I got slammed or I got hurt, I could knock the idle down.
01:25:34.000 And I think sometimes when you're a young, reckless person, you're just looking for something to knock the idol down so that you can live a more sort of profound, examined life.
01:25:44.000 It makes sense.
01:25:46.000 I think that the better solution is exercise.
01:25:50.000 Just wear yourself out.
01:25:51.000 That'll knock your idol down without the brain trauma.
01:25:54.000 And for the most part, that's what I've always done, is that kind of exhausting.
01:25:57.000 What kind of exercise has been what suits you best?
01:26:00.000 You know, I always thought it was lifting weights.
01:26:04.000 And then last year with the lockdown and the gyms closed?
01:26:08.000 I went to a stone yard and I ordered six dump trucks of granite.
01:26:13.000 And I built a castle.
01:26:15.000 Really?
01:26:15.000 I had this promontory of land.
01:26:17.000 I own an island property surrounded by a national park.
01:26:21.000 I don't have any neighbors for a mile and a half in any direction.
01:26:24.000 But I had this promontory that looked into a fantastically beautiful gorge.
01:26:30.000 And I always thought I wanted to build a kind of ruin right there.
01:26:35.000 And I just set out and I built...
01:26:38.000 A castle.
01:26:39.000 I built one room with tall peaked windows.
01:26:42.000 You built it all by yourself?
01:26:43.000 All by myself.
01:26:44.000 Do you have photos of this online?
01:26:46.000 No, no.
01:26:47.000 You know, it's so big that it's really difficult to photograph.
01:26:50.000 And for years...
01:26:51.000 Okay, I'm one person.
01:26:54.000 It doesn't matter.
01:26:55.000 For years, I've been collecting concrete skulls that are done by different artists.
01:27:01.000 I met this young woman 30 years ago, and she had made like five really beautifully cast concrete skulls.
01:27:11.000 And I'd bought them all, and I just sent them outside.
01:27:14.000 And so every once in a while, I would meet an artist who would make very realistic concrete skulls, and I'd buy some more.
01:27:21.000 And so as I built the castle, I would chink them into the walls like an ossuary.
01:27:26.000 And so among the rocks, you occasionally find a very green, very sort of grizzly-looking skull.
01:27:33.000 And I spent the whole year climbing this 16-foot fiberglass ladder with huge rocks in my arms.
01:27:43.000 And having the worst leg cramps of my entire life every night.
01:27:47.000 The cramps would keep me walking around the house for hours.
01:27:52.000 But I got a castle out of it.
01:27:55.000 And that was the funnest physical fitness I've ever had.
01:28:00.000 Well, it's a natural kind of fitness, that kind of work.
01:28:03.000 And it's some of the most difficult in terms of exercise, like rucking is really difficult.
01:28:11.000 It's sort of boring, but rucking is you take a heavy backpack and you just walk around.
01:28:16.000 Like, it's very hard to do.
01:28:18.000 It's not glamorous by any means.
01:28:21.000 Like, people want to do difficult things that are exciting.
01:28:24.000 Like, you want to go to CrossFit.
01:28:25.000 Like, you're there with a bunch of other people.
01:28:27.000 They're pushing each other.
01:28:28.000 Let's go, go, go.
01:28:29.000 But just putting a heavy backpack on and walking sucks.
01:28:35.000 And what you're doing is similar to that, right?
01:28:38.000 You're just carrying stuff.
01:28:40.000 And it also has the chess game because you're holding three-dimensional Tetris-like objects that weigh 80 pounds, 90 pounds.
01:28:49.000 And you have to carry them up a ladder, maintaining your center of gravity, and then you have to decide how they're going to fit in relation to the pre-existing ones already cast.
01:28:58.000 And so you're playing this giant primitive Tetris game that is like playing chess.
01:29:05.000 And that part of it is really fascinating.
01:29:07.000 Do you secure the rocks with anything other than gravity?
01:29:10.000 I put a ton of steel and wire and mesh inside.
01:29:16.000 I do a kind of Roman construction.
01:29:19.000 And my understanding is that when the Romans built, rather than create forms for the concrete...
01:29:25.000 They used cut stone, mortar together, and that was the form.
01:29:29.000 And then they put all the concrete between these two stone forms.
01:29:33.000 So the stone you see on the outside is actually the form that was used to hold the concrete in place until it's set.
01:29:41.000 And so I build up the kind of two outer walls of stone, maybe a foot, maybe 18 inches, and then I lay in a lot of steel, and then I pour it full of concrete in the center.
01:29:53.000 So it looks like it's a stone wall that's two or three feet thick, but it's really a concrete wall that is just faced with stone.
01:30:02.000 So when you say lace steel, are you using rebar?
01:30:06.000 What are you doing?
01:30:07.000 What kind of steel and how are you doing it?
01:30:09.000 You know, it's rebar, but it's also galvanized metal fencing.
01:30:14.000 And years ago, Mason's always told me, if you want to make a porch stoop, if you want to just make a fairly small piece of concrete, dry cleaner hangers.
01:30:29.000 Wire hangers from the dry cleaners because they are coated with a non-corrosive coating and because you can tangle them up and bend them up and you can just smash them in there, you know, and pour the concrete on top of them.
01:30:44.000 And they will hold the mass together in a really magnificent way and they will not corrode because they're covered with that kind of plasticized coating.
01:30:53.000 And better yet, you can get them for free.
01:30:56.000 Go to the gym.
01:30:57.000 Every gym has got a huge box of dry cleaner hangers that people have left behind.
01:31:03.000 And so any gym will give you 500 hangers.
01:31:07.000 Huh.
01:31:07.000 And so they're free and they last forever and they make great reinforcing inside of limited amounts of concrete.
01:31:14.000 So you just used a bunch of stuff in there.
01:31:16.000 A bunch of stuff, but it had to be stuff that would not corrode.
01:31:19.000 Right.
01:31:20.000 And did you take lessons in how to do this?
01:31:24.000 Did you read a book on it or watch a video?
01:31:26.000 You know, that's part of the comfort thing is my dad did concrete.
01:31:29.000 My dad learned concrete work in the Navy.
01:31:34.000 My maternal grandfather was a big stone worker.
01:31:38.000 It's kind of a Ukrainian thing as well.
01:31:40.000 And so I grew up, my poor brother and I, we grew up cleaning old cinder block because my father would get cinder block that would have plaster and stucco on it.
01:31:50.000 My brother and I had to stand out in the desert with hammers and clean this cinder block Under the beating hot sun for hours and hours.
01:31:59.000 So my brother and I grew up mixing concrete, mixing mortar, hod carrying, where you carry the live mortar around.
01:32:08.000 And so there's something enormously comforting about the work now because it has got that link to my childhood.
01:32:16.000 And did you have, what kind of design did you put down before you placed it in?
01:32:22.000 Did you just do it by feel and by look or did you have like an actual like blueprint of what you were trying to do?
01:32:30.000 Did you render anything?
01:32:31.000 Really just by, you know, seat on my pants.
01:32:34.000 I knew the windows had to be standardized so I used a standard form for the windows.
01:32:40.000 But beyond that, no.
01:32:42.000 So is this going to be something you live in, or is it just for fun?
01:32:45.000 No.
01:32:46.000 We threw a huge Halloween party there for local kids last weekend, and the kids loved it.
01:32:52.000 It was just this fantastic sort of, you know, play structure.
01:32:56.000 Right.
01:32:57.000 How big is it?
01:33:00.000 It's really only about six rooms and a couple courtyards.
01:33:03.000 Six rooms?
01:33:04.000 Yeah.
01:33:05.000 So you made six rooms this way with just carrying stones around and coat hangers and cement.
01:33:11.000 And rebar and galvanized grid work that you use for flat work.
01:33:18.000 Yeah.
01:33:19.000 How long did this take you?
01:33:21.000 It took me mostly two years.
01:33:22.000 I had started it actually the year before lockdown.
01:33:26.000 But as soon as they were announcing lockdown and you started to see the first few masks, I went to the Washougal Lumberyard and I said, I need all the bags of mortar that you can get me.
01:33:37.000 And I started out with like 45, 50 bags of mortar mix because I just knew that things might get really tight really fast.
01:33:47.000 And I ordered in all my stone from Metro Landscape.
01:33:52.000 God bless Metro Landscape, because I know they listen to you.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, and then I was off.
01:33:59.000 But the only thing that was missing is that camaraderie that you get at the gym, where you're with people.
01:34:07.000 Right.
01:34:07.000 Yeah, and I missed that.
01:34:08.000 Yeah, that is nice.
01:34:10.000 That's a big part of the experience for a lot of people.
01:34:13.000 That's one of the things that people really missed during the pandemic was gym culture, where fellow people agreeing to suffer and exercise and exert themselves.
01:34:25.000 And also, we overlook the fact that there's a lot of discourse at the gym.
01:34:33.000 I think maybe in particular men have to be involved in a task in order to sort of maintain a conversation.
01:34:40.000 And so if you're doing something, you're not just talking.
01:34:45.000 And so I think a lot of things get worked out while people work out.
01:34:50.000 And we overlook that.
01:34:52.000 Yeah, there's a thing that happens, too, where there's an alleviation of tension from rigorous exercise where you're really getting after it that makes conversations easier.
01:35:02.000 I've had some of the funniest conversations with my friends about their wives or their girlfriends.
01:35:06.000 They'll tell you shit about what's going on in the middle of a set.
01:35:10.000 Like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do, man.
01:35:12.000 I can't take this anymore.
01:35:13.000 Drop the weights and like, fuck.
01:35:16.000 They'll tell you things where they don't feel as vulnerable.
01:35:19.000 They don't feel as whiny either because you're all lifting weights together.
01:35:23.000 Well, and also the lifting weights thing is an activity that is designed in this Sisyphean way to end in failure.
01:35:31.000 Unless you do fail, you haven't gone far enough.
01:35:34.000 And that was the old punk saying.
01:35:37.000 Punk musicians in my salad days, they always said, don't touch the brakes until you hear glass break.
01:35:44.000 That unless you go to disaster, you will regret not having gone far enough.
01:35:50.000 Do you know the idea of that, of going to failure, is disputed now by some pretty prominent trainers?
01:35:58.000 Like, have you ever read any of Pavel Tatsulin's stuff?
01:36:03.000 Do you know who he is?
01:36:04.000 And people have been having this debate since as long as I've been in weight rooms, since the early 80s.
01:36:10.000 So yeah, I know a lot of people both ways.
01:36:13.000 Yeah, Pavel's idea is that if you can do ten repetitions, you should do five, but you should do five many times.
01:36:21.000 So instead of just going to ten and then exhausting your muscles and then going to eight and the next one and then going to seven, you should go to five and then take a long break.
01:36:30.000 You should take like five minutes in between sets.
01:36:32.000 Most people don't have that kind of time.
01:36:34.000 Five, ten minutes, he was saying.
01:36:35.000 And then ten minutes later, do another five.
01:36:38.000 Put the weights down.
01:36:39.000 Just have a conversation.
01:36:41.000 Drink some water.
01:36:42.000 Hang out.
01:36:42.000 Relax.
01:36:44.000 You're not there to exhaust your body.
01:36:47.000 You're there to get stronger.
01:36:48.000 And he's like, and strength is a skill.
01:36:50.000 And you need to work on that skill.
01:36:52.000 And so instead of doing, you know, like say if you go to 10 repetitions and you could do 10 sets of 10 three times and on the third time you're just absolutely at failure.
01:37:03.000 Instead of that, do six or seven sets of five repetitions.
01:37:08.000 So you're actually doing more work and it's not as exhausting.
01:37:12.000 And it doesn't blow your muscles out the same way, but it actually makes you stronger in his eyes.
01:37:17.000 This is very disputed.
01:37:19.000 I don't want to say...
01:37:20.000 I train that way, but I'm not the strongest guy in the world.
01:37:23.000 So I don't know who's right or who's wrong.
01:37:25.000 And I know my friend Rob's going to be here tomorrow.
01:37:28.000 He's an actual strong man.
01:37:30.000 And they don't train that way.
01:37:31.000 They lift the heaviest fucking shit they can and almost break themselves every time.
01:37:36.000 And when they're...
01:37:37.000 Like he does those log presses.
01:37:39.000 When he gets to this, he's like...
01:37:40.000 He can barely get it above his head.
01:37:42.000 You know, and another thing that Chuck will regret bringing up.
01:37:48.000 Have you ever done steroids?
01:37:50.000 Yes.
01:37:52.000 When I've done steroids, I find I lose all kind of mental acuity, that I'm completely a physical being.
01:38:02.000 I am just nothing but physicality and endurance and strength and energy, and I don't write a single word.
01:38:09.000 Oh, that's interesting.
01:38:11.000 And, yeah.
01:38:12.000 So you get just so jacked.
01:38:14.000 Well, what kind of stuff are you doing?
01:38:15.000 Almost always oral Dianna Ball.
01:38:17.000 Well, always oral Dianna Ball.
01:38:22.000 And I like writing more than I like that.
01:38:27.000 You know, so that's never been very appealing because I have to sacrifice the writing when I go down that road.
01:38:33.000 That's interesting that it kills your creativity.
01:38:35.000 Maybe you're not working out hard enough when you're on them.
01:38:38.000 And the kind of working out that you're talking about where it is steady and involves rest and camaraderie and talking, I get a lot of writing done during that time.
01:38:48.000 Because I'm always talking to other people or to trainers, bouncing ideas off of them to see whether they engage with the idea or whether they have a similar experience.
01:38:59.000 Or whether they'd seen the idea in popular culture already.
01:39:02.000 So I'm constantly testing material on people at the gym.
01:39:06.000 And so that leads to that more sort of subdued training that you described.
01:39:11.000 Yeah.
01:39:12.000 I would feel like maybe the requirements of your body when you're doing steroids, they ramp up so significantly that it takes over your focus.
01:39:21.000 Because when you have hyper levels of hormones, hyperhuman levels of hormones, your body has stronger requirements.
01:39:28.000 Like, your body thinks it has to do more.
01:39:30.000 That's why it has so much in it, you know?
01:39:34.000 And it's interesting, like, you can buy stuff that's legal.
01:39:41.000 That is, or used to be able to buy stuff that's legal.
01:39:44.000 Some of the potent shit I ever did, I could buy at GNC. There was this stuff they used to take.
01:39:49.000 It's probably terrible for your liver.
01:39:50.000 It was called Mag10.
01:39:52.000 And I remember they removed it from the market years ago.
01:39:56.000 But you used to take it, and oh my god, it was incredible.
01:40:00.000 I gained like 10 pounds.
01:40:01.000 I got so fucking strong.
01:40:03.000 I was like, I can't believe you could just buy this stuff at GNC. But that stuff, whatever that stuff does, that's not sustainable.
01:40:13.000 There's certain things, like testosterone replacement is very sustainable because you can keep your body at a natural level, like a normal level, and it just accounts for the aging process.
01:40:25.000 But when you do cycles, like heavy things like that stuff, that MAG-10 stuff, or Anavar, or there's a lot of other ones that you could do cycles of, you can't sustain it.
01:40:36.000 It's just not good for you.
01:40:38.000 And after a certain age, you kind of choose your priorities.
01:40:42.000 Do I want to live in this giant house that needs constant maintenance?
01:40:46.000 And I have to plan every move so that I'm around a gym and clean protein?
01:40:51.000 And how much turkey do I want to eat in one day?
01:40:56.000 I want more.
01:40:58.000 Yeah.
01:40:59.000 My time with performance enhancing drugs is all about martial arts.
01:41:06.000 It was all about increasing my ability in martial arts and recovering from injuries.
01:41:11.000 It's a pretty significant factor in recovering from injuries.
01:41:15.000 Like if you have...
01:41:17.000 Muscle tears or any kind of a knee injury and you're doing rehabilitation, there's some stuff that you could take that significantly speeds up the process of recovery.
01:41:26.000 We're talking like you could take five, six months off of the process.
01:41:30.000 You know, another thing that I've noticed among my friends and my contemporaries is that the people who did a lot of recreational drugs when they were younger, they did acid, they did mescaline, they did everything.
01:41:44.000 They did everything except for steroids.
01:41:48.000 As they've grown older, they've never done steroids.
01:41:52.000 But my friends who didn't do any recreational drugs, now that they're in their 50s, edging into their 60s, they're doing massive amounts of steroids.
01:42:03.000 Really?
01:42:03.000 Yeah, so people are either in one school where you did tons of acid and then nothing, or you are in the other school where you were completely straight edge, and now you're doing every steroid you can get your hands on.
01:42:16.000 Who do you know in their 60s is doing steroids?
01:42:20.000 Really?
01:42:20.000 The guys at the gym trying to get jacked?
01:42:25.000 Guys who are not aging well.
01:42:27.000 When you say steroids, you mean hormone replacement from a doctor, like legitimate hormone replacement?
01:42:33.000 You're talking about hardcore stuff.
01:42:35.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 Mexico, dark web.
01:42:39.000 Trying to be a bodybuilder, that kind of stuff.
01:42:41.000 Yeah.
01:42:41.000 It's not an aging out gracefully thing.
01:42:45.000 It seems to be a kind of not going into the dark night kind of Dylan Thomas thing.
01:42:51.000 Rage.
01:42:51.000 Rage against the dying of the light.
01:42:53.000 Yeah.
01:42:54.000 It is fascinating that there are chemicals that can make your body bigger and stronger.
01:42:59.000 It's fascinating that you could take things and your body grows bigger and stronger and more manly.
01:43:04.000 But it's only available for men.
01:43:06.000 There's not really a thing that a woman can take that makes it more womanly.
01:43:09.000 There's not a hormone that a woman can take that accentuates the waist-to-hip ratio or grows her breasts or anything along those lines.
01:43:19.000 It's really only a masculine endeavor.
01:43:23.000 That's because we're controlled by the patriarchy.
01:43:27.000 Okay?
01:43:28.000 Has this been explained to you?
01:43:29.000 It has.
01:43:30.000 That if this was a matriarchy, there would be a female steroid that would turn women into Pam Anderson.
01:43:38.000 I don't think it's possible.
01:43:39.000 The problem is biology.
01:43:40.000 It's like the same reason why there's nothing that makes your dick grow.
01:43:45.000 Okay, I would debate that.
01:43:47.000 Please do.
01:43:48.000 Years ago, I got to do three autopsies with a medical student.
01:43:53.000 She was preparing corpses, cadavers, for a medical lab the next day.
01:44:00.000 And it was two women and a man.
01:44:02.000 And the man was maybe 80, 85-year-old physician.
01:44:07.000 And she explained that he had been self-medicating with steroids late in life, maybe for 20 or 30 years even.
01:44:14.000 And when we popped his chest open, his heart was enormous.
01:44:18.000 And she took out this huge heart and she said, this is steroids.
01:44:22.000 Steroids.
01:44:23.000 Yeah.
01:44:24.000 And when we, what'd they call it?
01:44:29.000 We freed the testicles, which was...
01:44:32.000 Freed them.
01:44:32.000 I like how you say that.
01:44:33.000 Like they're in prison?
01:44:34.000 Yeah.
01:44:38.000 Oh, God.
01:44:40.000 But it was called sectioning, but we had to cut the penis lengthwise.
01:44:45.000 And he had a huge schlong.
01:44:48.000 And she said it was also steroids.
01:44:51.000 Really?
01:44:51.000 Yeah.
01:44:52.000 That's just what Donna said.
01:44:53.000 Okay.
01:44:55.000 How does Donna know?
01:44:55.000 Was she there at the beginning?
01:44:57.000 I have no idea.
01:44:57.000 Was she there with a ruler?
01:44:58.000 She told me.
01:44:59.000 She told me.
01:45:00.000 I didn't know that.
01:45:01.000 I've never heard that, that it makes your dick grow.
01:45:03.000 But it does make sense because I was talking to someone who...
01:45:09.000 You know, when female bodybuilders do a...
01:45:11.000 Yes, there you are.
01:45:13.000 I wasn't going to say that.
01:45:15.000 I was going to say someone who had transitioned...
01:45:18.000 Tried to transition to male like a trans woman or a woman rather would become a trans male and then went back and The dilemma was the size of the clitoris.
01:45:29.000 It changed pretty radically and it couldn't change back So that seems to be an argument in Donna's favor.
01:45:36.000 It is an argument in Donna's favor now that I'm thinking about it Like you got to get the right balance where your heart doesn't explode, but your dick gets really big Oh, you could just find a hobby, okay?
01:45:47.000 Oh, you could, but come on.
01:45:48.000 We're not going to live forever, Chuck.
01:45:51.000 Yeah, well, there's more to life, okay?
01:45:53.000 Maybe there is for you.
01:45:54.000 Some people like to ride BMX bikes off the side of a fucking cliff, you know?
01:45:59.000 My buddy Andy, Andy Stumpf, he does those fucking squirrel suits, those flying squirrel suits where you jump off cliffs and soar through the mountains.
01:46:08.000 He held the world record for it.
01:46:09.000 That seems to me ridiculous.
01:46:12.000 Makes way more sense just growing a bigger dick with steroids than doing that.
01:46:20.000 Boy, you know...
01:46:22.000 Oh, boy.
01:46:24.000 This really...
01:46:25.000 It's hard to argue with guys...
01:46:27.000 Okay.
01:46:31.000 As my father would say, when it's so big...
01:46:36.000 That it hangs in the water, it's too big.
01:46:38.000 In the water of the toilet?
01:46:40.000 Yeah.
01:46:40.000 Yeah.
01:46:41.000 I would say that's pretty accurate.
01:46:44.000 Yeah.
01:46:44.000 Unless that's your thing, you know?
01:46:48.000 But still, when you think for practical purposes...
01:46:51.000 For practical purposes for normal people.
01:46:54.000 Then I go back to Mr. Hands.
01:46:57.000 Mr. Hands clearly needed something larger than what a human was capable of providing.
01:47:03.000 But the flip side is, if you are that big, then you're basically only dating mares.
01:47:09.000 Or, women who've had a bunch of kids.
01:47:12.000 I'm not gonna go there.
01:47:14.000 I would imagine.
01:47:15.000 A woman who's had like six, seven kids?
01:47:17.000 I'm not gonna go there.
01:47:19.000 That's blown out, right?
01:47:19.000 I'm not gonna go there.
01:47:24.000 And with that in mind, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
01:47:26.000 Yeah, please do.
01:47:27.000 It's a lot of coffee.
01:47:27.000 Oh, I get it.
01:47:28.000 Yeah, go ahead.
01:47:29.000 It's rough on most folks.
01:47:30.000 Yeah, take left out there.
01:47:31.000 Oh, my God.
01:47:33.000 We'll be right back.
01:47:35.000 Yeah.
01:47:35.000 The ones out there, you mean?
01:47:36.000 Yeah.
01:47:36.000 What about them?
01:47:37.000 Well, I think it's interesting when I talk to people who have sort of broken through in their profession, they typically buy a really stupid thing really early on.
01:47:46.000 That's the stupid thing I bought early on.
01:47:47.000 And that's why I want to talk about that phenomenon.
01:47:49.000 Yeah.
01:47:49.000 Because I think it's really sweet.
01:47:50.000 We're still rolling, right?
01:47:51.000 Let's talk about it right now.
01:47:52.000 Yeah, those dragon dog things.
01:47:56.000 What are those things called?
01:47:57.000 Foo dogs.
01:47:58.000 What?
01:47:58.000 Foo dogs.
01:47:58.000 Foo dogs.
01:47:59.000 Those dogs.
01:48:01.000 I bought those in 1994. I had just gotten on TV and I was making some money.
01:48:07.000 I was like, wow, I got some money.
01:48:09.000 And I had an apartment and...
01:48:14.000 Actually, maybe I moved into the house.
01:48:16.000 Maybe it was 96. I moved into a house in 96. I rented a house.
01:48:20.000 I think it's then.
01:48:21.000 And I went by this place that had imported sculptures and stuff from Bali and Indonesia and all this cool shit.
01:48:30.000 I bought those big dogs.
01:48:33.000 And then the Buddha.
01:48:34.000 I bought the Buddha when I was on Fear Factor.
01:48:36.000 Big, giant, golden Buddha.
01:48:38.000 I bought a bunch of shit like that.
01:48:42.000 Was it because you had nothing as a kid, or did they symbolize a kind of accomplishment?
01:48:47.000 No, they just looked cool.
01:48:48.000 I thought they'd be cool in my house.
01:48:52.000 Do you regret it?
01:48:53.000 No, I still have them.
01:48:54.000 I would have given them away if I didn't like them.
01:48:56.000 I love them.
01:48:58.000 My wife hates them.
01:48:59.000 That's why they're here.
01:49:00.000 I talk to so many people.
01:49:01.000 When they get a check, they sell a book.
01:49:05.000 They go out and they buy one big thing.
01:49:09.000 That is not the brightest thing, but it is something they never would have considered before.
01:49:15.000 I bought a pair of $6,000 Armani water buffalo pants.
01:49:23.000 Water buffalo pants?
01:49:25.000 Water buffalo pants.
01:49:26.000 How are those for breathability?
01:49:29.000 I wore them on Conan O'Brien, sweated like a pig.
01:49:33.000 And I thought somehow that I was going to maintain the same waist size for the rest of my life.
01:49:40.000 And there's a really small window of time when you can wear water buffalo pants with a 29-inch waist.
01:49:46.000 Well, you seem pretty slim.
01:49:47.000 I am, but, you know, the sand settles differently over time.
01:49:52.000 So those poor water buffalo pants...
01:49:54.000 Did you sit there somewhere?
01:49:56.000 They just sit there.
01:49:57.000 They also shrink, right?
01:49:58.000 If you just get them wet and then let them dry out, don't they contract?
01:50:02.000 I've only worn them twice.
01:50:04.000 Oh.
01:50:04.000 Yeah.
01:50:06.000 They get really dusty is what they get.
01:50:09.000 That's one thing I don't think I've ever had on is a pair of leather pants.
01:50:12.000 I don't think I've ever had a pair of leather pants.
01:50:15.000 Everybody wants to be Jim Morrison for like 15 minutes.
01:50:19.000 Right.
01:50:19.000 Yeah.
01:50:21.000 Of course.
01:50:22.000 And they're also incredibly heavy.
01:50:25.000 There was a designer that came out with these floor-length leather skirts a few years ago, and they looked terrific on the runway, but they weigh like 45 pounds.
01:50:34.000 Really?
01:50:34.000 Yeah, and so women would not wear them because, yeah.
01:50:38.000 That makes sense.
01:50:39.000 Yeah, they're so thick, like a belt.
01:50:41.000 Exactly.
01:50:42.000 But that, oh God, yeah.
01:50:44.000 That would be very heavy.
01:50:46.000 The things women wear, I mean, it's quite amazing that they have decided to wear these fucking torturous devices on their feet that they could barely walk around in and they're so desirable.
01:51:02.000 Like those weird fucking stiletto heels and the straps that go over your toes.
01:51:09.000 They give you porn feet.
01:51:10.000 Yeah.
01:51:11.000 Those feet are pointed in the air and the arch is a bit like that.
01:51:15.000 It's a porn foot.
01:51:17.000 It's a porn foot?
01:51:17.000 Yeah.
01:51:19.000 While the shoes are on, you mean?
01:51:21.000 Yeah.
01:51:22.000 It mimics the leg.
01:51:24.000 It tenses the leg as it's tensed during coitus and it puts the foot in the shape of the foot as it's in coitus.
01:51:32.000 Is that why they wear them?
01:51:34.000 There was a great book called Survival of the Prettiest.
01:51:37.000 It was about 25 years ago.
01:51:39.000 And it was all these studies that empirically broke down why we find things attractive and why we stylize our bodies in certain ways.
01:51:47.000 And, you know, it's all basically to mimic different levels of arousal or availability.
01:51:53.000 Right.
01:51:54.000 That's what lipstick's about, right?
01:51:56.000 The idea of accentuating the color of the lips?
01:52:00.000 Lipstick also culturally marked Roman prostitutes who would give oral sex.
01:52:06.000 Right.
01:52:06.000 And so it was the way they badged themselves.
01:52:09.000 But the female body becomes more pale during estrus because so much blood has gone to the menses.
01:52:19.000 God, I don't even know these words.
01:52:22.000 And so that's why paler women have traditionally been perceived as more attractive because it's unconsciously associated with ovulation.
01:52:33.000 And so the more pale you are, the more likely you are to be ovulating at that moment.
01:52:38.000 And lipstick also heightens that contrast.
01:52:42.000 I'm shocked by that, because I would think that tan would be more attractive, because women are always tanning.
01:52:47.000 You know, the ovulation theory is the one I've always heard, is that the paleness is a signal of high fertility.
01:52:54.000 Right, paleness with the bright lips.
01:52:57.000 Huh.
01:52:58.000 I always thought that the reason why they wore high heels is that it makes their butt look bigger.
01:53:03.000 Like it accentuates the stance like when you're on your toes, your butt kind of sticks out.
01:53:07.000 And it arches the lower back and it tenses the leg and it puts the foot into that toes pointed at the ceiling sort of shape.
01:53:17.000 Also, there's another factor we're not supposed to talk about.
01:53:24.000 People find crippled people enormously appealing.
01:53:26.000 They do?
01:53:28.000 Some people.
01:53:29.000 Because you can run them down.
01:53:32.000 I know guys...
01:53:33.000 Run them down?
01:53:35.000 Like chase them down.
01:53:36.000 Oh.
01:53:37.000 They're easy to catch.
01:53:38.000 So the idea is that women in high heels can't run.
01:53:40.000 Exactly.
01:53:41.000 It's a kind of hobbling that makes them appear more attainable.
01:53:46.000 Oh.
01:53:47.000 And I know people who will only go for people on crutches.
01:53:51.000 What?
01:53:51.000 Or people with canes.
01:53:53.000 What?
01:53:53.000 Because that attainability, that vulnerability, the cheetah looking for the antelope that's...
01:54:00.000 Got a limp.
01:54:01.000 Yeah.
01:54:01.000 Yeah.
01:54:02.000 Yeah.
01:54:03.000 I wanna fuck the one with a limp, okay?
01:54:08.000 It is very strange, the unnatural aspect of fashion and wardrobe choices and the things people wear and why.
01:54:17.000 You know, and it's so fascinating.
01:54:20.000 You know, and also it signals socioeconomic levels.
01:54:24.000 It signals aspirations.
01:54:27.000 It badges us as to, you know, does she like what I like?
01:54:30.000 Does he like what I like?
01:54:32.000 Do we have anything in common?
01:54:33.000 Is this an invitation to approach the person?
01:54:36.000 So what's the deal with lingerie?
01:54:39.000 Why do we wrap the Christmas presents?
01:54:42.000 Oh, you know, things are so much more attractive.
01:54:46.000 When they got just a little bit of bathing suit.
01:54:51.000 You know, for me it's language.
01:54:54.000 I cannot watch porn in a foreign language.
01:54:58.000 Because unless I can understand that layer of erotic messaging, it is wildlife kingdom.
01:55:07.000 It doesn't even occur as anything erotic.
01:55:10.000 Right.
01:55:11.000 You need the conversation.
01:55:13.000 Yeah.
01:55:13.000 I need dirty talk.
01:55:15.000 Right.
01:55:16.000 And that's why lingerie.
01:55:18.000 Because it's occluding just enough, but it's also signaling high availability.
01:55:25.000 Right.
01:55:27.000 And we need that occlusion.
01:55:28.000 We need that sense of mystery.
01:55:30.000 It is funny that a bikini is somehow or another at least as sexy or not more sexy than naked.
01:55:40.000 You know, this is a really coarse thing I tell my writing students.
01:55:44.000 And I'm probably going to get called out for it and I won't be able to say it anymore.
01:55:48.000 But...
01:55:50.000 It's all about withholding and it's always about a very gradual reveal.
01:55:54.000 Imagine if you're a stripper and you walk out on stage fully naked and you say, this is my vagina.
01:56:01.000 Any questions?
01:56:03.000 It's not going to work.
01:56:04.000 And so it's about going out there with as much clothes on as possible and then demonstrating a really desirable physicality and then about very slowly revealing the truth because nobody wants the full truth.
01:56:20.000 A slow reveal.
01:56:22.000 Oh, yeah, to build the tension.
01:56:24.000 Because we all know what's going to be ultimately revealed.
01:56:27.000 And it's about maintaining that dopamine, that anticipation, that reason why the build-up to Christmas is so intense and that Christmas is always a really shitty day.
01:56:39.000 We want that dopamine to last as long as possible.
01:56:43.000 Before the reveal that it's just another day.
01:56:45.000 That's one of the more interesting things about humans when it comes to sex is that we're the only animal that requires that sort of mystery and romance and the chase and the whole just the slow tension of it all.
01:57:04.000 That it makes it more exciting for us.
01:57:07.000 Like animals just want to fuck.
01:57:09.000 No, no, you're projecting on animals.
01:57:12.000 Really?
01:57:12.000 No, animals.
01:57:14.000 I have no experience with animals.
01:57:18.000 But I think you're selling them short.
01:57:20.000 I bet animals have this enormous history of jabbing each other with antlers in order to have that moment of glory.
01:57:27.000 Yeah, but they're fighting for the opportunity to fuck.
01:57:30.000 Have you ever watched a male elk fuck a female elk?
01:57:33.000 It's hilarious.
01:57:35.000 From your point of view.
01:57:36.000 He jumps on top of her and slams into her like it's a one-shot pump.
01:57:41.000 And then she gets flattened to the ground by the enormous weight of his body.
01:57:46.000 And then she kind of bucks up and gets back up to her feet and that's a wrap.
01:57:50.000 That's it.
01:57:50.000 Oh, I can't believe I know this.
01:57:53.000 Are you familiar?
01:57:55.000 And I know birds do this.
01:57:57.000 But I believe mammals actually do this, that if they are impregnated by a male that is not of their choosing, they can ejaculate the semen very effectively so they don't become impregnated.
01:58:10.000 Really?
01:58:10.000 I've seen videos of sparrows doing this.
01:58:13.000 Huh.
01:58:14.000 And, oh dear God, I wrote about it in a book called Snuff.
01:58:18.000 It's been adapted in the porn industry as the interior pop shot.
01:58:23.000 Cream pies.
01:58:25.000 And they squeeze it out.
01:58:26.000 Exactly, but they can really spray it out.
01:58:29.000 And sparrows do this very effectively.
01:58:32.000 There's a lot of YouTube footage of sparrows spitting it out.
01:58:37.000 And so, yeah, if you get a lousy elk, I think, you know...
01:58:41.000 I wonder.
01:58:42.000 Well, I don't think the lousy elks get to breed with the females.
01:58:45.000 I think they're pretty picky.
01:58:47.000 That's the whole reason why the males have the giant antlers and fight off the other males.
01:58:51.000 They want the dominant male.
01:58:52.000 Because they need strong genes to survive wolves and bears and the trips through the mountains.
01:59:00.000 Boy, I'll take your word for it.
01:59:02.000 What do you think?
01:59:05.000 First of all, elk populations are not that high.
01:59:08.000 I don't think they could be frivolous with cum.
01:59:10.000 I think they have to make as many elk babies as they can.
01:59:15.000 I don't know.
01:59:15.000 I think some of the does are just riding the elk carousel.
01:59:19.000 They're cows.
01:59:20.000 Cows, okay.
01:59:21.000 Yeah, it's cows and bulls.
01:59:22.000 They're riding the bull carousel.
01:59:24.000 You think so?
01:59:25.000 Yeah.
01:59:26.000 This is the 21st century, okay?
01:59:28.000 They're liberated.
01:59:29.000 Yeah.
01:59:30.000 They're dirty hoes.
01:59:31.000 They are not.
01:59:32.000 They are not.
01:59:34.000 They're living life to the fullest, okay?
01:59:36.000 It's interesting that porn is so prevalent but yet so forbidden and so taboo that it's sort of thought of as a bad thing and not really studied.
01:59:49.000 But when you look at the amount of people that consume it, it's an insane sort of hidden consumption in our culture.
01:59:56.000 And if you go to Pornhub or one of those places, a lot of it is like stepmom stuff now.
02:00:03.000 I don't know why, and I don't know what happened, but I don't remember this being a thing in the past.
02:00:08.000 Okay, one thing that has kind of changed the old languaging of fantasy is Michel Foucault, S&M, leather bondage, all of that was kind of based on master-slave relationships, and that whole languaging of master versus slave has been completely displaced.
02:00:30.000 In the last five or six years.
02:00:32.000 Because I believe it's seen as racist in the same way that the master bedroom can no longer be called the master bedroom.
02:00:39.000 What do they call it now?
02:00:40.000 They call it the largest bedroom or something like that.
02:00:43.000 There's a big relanguaging of anything that uses the term master.
02:00:47.000 And so I know, I've heard, I'm told, in gay culture, it's no longer master and slave anymore.
02:00:53.000 It is...
02:00:55.000 And it was daddy and boy for a while.
02:00:57.000 So it was going down the incest road.
02:01:00.000 Or it was bear and otter.
02:01:04.000 So it's going down the animal road.
02:01:06.000 So it's either going down the incest road or the animal road.
02:01:09.000 And now it's going down that weird road where it's owner and puppy.
02:01:16.000 So you got a bunch of puppies on the side.
02:01:18.000 And that's the new terminology.
02:01:20.000 Oh, God.
02:01:21.000 And so that pet owner and the pet is the new metaphor that people have eroticized.
02:01:29.000 Maybe it's a lockdown thing.
02:01:30.000 It might be a lockdown thing.
02:01:32.000 A lot of things have broken psychologically during the lockdown.
02:01:35.000 That might be one of them.
02:01:36.000 They changed motherboard technology descriptions.
02:01:41.000 It used to be master-slave when you would set motherboards.
02:01:45.000 I don't know what they call it now.
02:01:46.000 Do you know what they call it now, Jamie?
02:01:50.000 Because that was the thing.
02:01:51.000 I used to make my own computers and used to have to set the jumpers on the motherboard and you had to set it to a certain way and the way you would read the books on descriptions.
02:02:01.000 Source and replica as opposed to master and slave.
02:02:04.000 What about brake cylinders?
02:02:07.000 Master brake cylinder?
02:02:08.000 Is the term slave?
02:02:10.000 Yeah, there was master and slave for brake cylinders.
02:02:14.000 The master cylinder is the main cylinder and each wheel has a slave.
02:02:20.000 How weird.
02:02:21.000 I think it's now bear and otter.
02:02:23.000 Otter cylinders.
02:02:25.000 Boy and puppy.
02:02:27.000 The stepmom thing is strange, though, because it's so prevalent.
02:02:31.000 And the women I know are really proud to be MILFs.
02:02:34.000 Yeah?
02:02:35.000 Yeah.
02:02:35.000 They'll talk about how their teenage sons, their friends have voted them the biggest MILF. And they take a real ownership of that.
02:02:45.000 Well, it's a recent category, right?
02:02:48.000 It's like, uh...
02:02:50.000 Stacey's mom's got it going on.
02:02:52.000 It's probably the first one.
02:02:53.000 That's where it started.
02:02:55.000 But the women are just...
02:02:56.000 Women that are in the gym all the time, they maintain their hotness, like, way into their 50s now.
02:03:03.000 Where that was not the case when I was a boy.
02:03:06.000 When I was a young fella, you go over to your friend's house and their mom was 50, that was a wrap.
02:03:11.000 That lady was done.
02:03:12.000 Yeah, I... Sunset Boulevard, Norma Desmond's character was 50. And in retrospect, we think of her as being, you know, 70 years old.
02:03:21.000 Yes, exactly.
02:03:23.000 But meanwhile, you know, there's porn stars that are like in their late 40s that are really hot.
02:03:29.000 It's crazy.
02:03:30.000 And that whole genre, the MILF genre.
02:03:34.000 Because I think, especially for men that are older, like if they're watching porn, you don't want to watch porn that's someone that's your daughter's age.
02:03:43.000 You want to watch a hot lady that's a little younger than you that's keeping her shit together.
02:03:48.000 Well, and I think that there's something affirming in that is that when you see an older person in any field who has kind of maintained a kind of sense of vitality and attractiveness and healthiness, That they are presenting for you as well.
02:04:04.000 They're proving that at that age you can also be relatively youthful.
02:04:10.000 Yeah.
02:04:11.000 It's also an impressive display of discipline because we know it's not easy.
02:04:15.000 If you see someone who's 50 years old and she looks incredibly fit, that's a person who's putting effort in.
02:04:24.000 There's something impressive about that.
02:04:26.000 Like, that's an exceptional person.
02:04:27.000 Most people don't have the willpower.
02:04:29.000 They don't have the discipline to keep showing up.
02:04:32.000 After a while, they just quit and start eating donuts.
02:04:35.000 You know, the discipline, there's almost something spiritual about it because That sort of self-denial.
02:04:45.000 I think that was a lot of the charm of the nerd, is that the nerd was almost like a...
02:04:51.000 The nerd has kind of morphed into the evil of the incel.
02:04:56.000 But previously, nerds were very eroticized because there was that sense of almost like a novitiate or a novice.
02:05:06.000 Right.
02:05:21.000 Yeah.
02:05:24.000 Yeah, that's a...
02:05:25.000 The incel's a weird one, right?
02:05:28.000 Because it used to be, like, in the dark.
02:05:30.000 Like, people didn't think about it that much until it became a term.
02:05:33.000 And then there was that one guy that drove into that crowd of people.
02:05:36.000 I think it was in Canada.
02:05:38.000 And he devoted that to Elliot Rogers.
02:05:41.000 Oh, did he?
02:05:41.000 The young man with a gun, yeah.
02:05:43.000 Right.
02:05:43.000 The guy from Santa Barbara, right?
02:05:46.000 Wasn't that...
02:05:46.000 Or Los Angeles, yeah.
02:05:48.000 Yeah.
02:05:48.000 I think it was in Santa Barbara where he shot a bunch of people and that was his complaint too, that women wouldn't fuck them.
02:05:56.000 That's a conundrum.
02:05:59.000 Like, how do you fix that without prostitution?
02:06:04.000 I can't remember the last time.
02:06:06.000 Did we talk about Gunnar Heinsen?
02:06:08.000 I don't know.
02:06:09.000 I love to say Gunnar Heinsen is a German academic.
02:06:14.000 He wrote a book called Sons and World Power, Sonnen und Weltmacht.
02:06:19.000 And his whole theory about Western civilization is that all progress has come because at different points in history where there were too many second sons.
02:06:31.000 Because the first son will inherit status and position automatically.
02:06:35.000 There's going to be a place in society and there's going to be reproductive opportunity for the first son and resources.
02:06:41.000 But for the second, third, fourth sons who get an education and are looking for a place in society, there will not be a place.
02:06:49.000 So it's those sons who go out into the world as explorers.
02:06:54.000 Or who foment revolutions.
02:06:56.000 Because they're not guaranteed a place.
02:06:59.000 They're not guaranteed a mate.
02:07:00.000 And so they have to go out into the world and cause trouble.
02:07:04.000 And so Gunnar Heinsohn really tracked everything from Cortes up to the Arab Spring to this surplus of second and third sons.
02:07:16.000 And only if they're educated.
02:07:18.000 If they come from a class that educates them and leads them to think that someday they'll be millionaires and movie stars and rock gods and then they realize that's not going to happen, then they go out and they cause trouble and history changes.
02:07:34.000 That makes sense.
02:07:35.000 And so, Antifa, incels, you know, the energy goes in a lot of different directions.
02:07:43.000 Antifa and incels, they're very similar, right?
02:07:48.000 When you think about them.
02:07:50.000 Like, no one's lining up to fuck Antifa, guys.
02:07:54.000 And it's usually why they're so angry, right?
02:07:56.000 I'm not going down that road.
02:07:58.000 I live in Portland, Oregon.
02:07:59.000 I know you do.
02:07:59.000 Yeah.
02:08:00.000 Why?
02:08:00.000 They'll burn my house down.
02:08:02.000 Why don't you get out?
02:08:05.000 It's going to implode.
02:08:07.000 All the cops are going away now.
02:08:08.000 You're losing 40% of your police department, aren't you?
02:08:11.000 It's a dream.
02:08:11.000 It's a dream.
02:08:13.000 Yeah, like a Biggie song.
02:08:15.000 It was all a dream.
02:08:16.000 No, it's like a Portlandia series.
02:08:19.000 It's like the 90s are alive in Portland.
02:08:23.000 Do you enjoy the chaos of the Antifa in Portland?
02:08:29.000 Okay, we're going right back to absurdist existentialism.
02:08:34.000 And as an absurdist existentialist, I'm kind of okay with everything except for Beagle experiments.
02:08:44.000 Yeah, the Beagle experiments are rough.
02:08:46.000 Yeah, I draw a line there.
02:08:48.000 Yeah.
02:08:48.000 You know, I watched a movie I was loving the other night with Matt Dillon, a horror movie called The House That Jack Built.
02:09:00.000 I was loving this movie.
02:09:02.000 It was by a Dutch director, and he was cutting together the narrative scenes with a lot of stock footage.
02:09:07.000 So it had a really kind of crazy style to it that I hadn't seen since Run, Lola, Run, the German movie.
02:09:15.000 So I hadn't seen that kind of crazy energy since the 90s.
02:09:19.000 But at one point in a flashback scene, a little boy takes a duckling out of the water and takes a pair of shears and cuts its leg off.
02:09:29.000 A live duckling.
02:09:30.000 And then puts it back in the water and watches it swim around in a circle because it's only got one leg.
02:09:36.000 And I turn the movie off and I won't watch the rest of that movie.
02:09:42.000 There's just certain roads.
02:09:44.000 Animal torture.
02:09:45.000 I can't go down that.
02:09:46.000 Yeah.
02:09:47.000 Yeah.
02:09:50.000 Is it a real duckling?
02:09:51.000 Do they really do it?
02:09:52.000 They show it in the trailer.
02:09:55.000 Yeah?
02:09:56.000 Yeah, I don't want to see this.
02:09:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:10:00.000 Oh, fuck.
02:10:01.000 Oh, yeah, it is real.
02:10:03.000 Yeah, it's real.
02:10:05.000 And it was a...
02:10:06.000 I thought it was a terrific movie until that moment.
02:10:08.000 Up until that moment, yeah.
02:10:10.000 And what makes me feel really conflicted is that he's also beating women to death with carjacks in really hyper-realistic, violent ways.
02:10:24.000 And I'm sitting through that and eating popcorn.
02:10:27.000 But the moment you cut the leg off a duck, I get upset.
02:10:31.000 Is it because you know the duck's not an actor and it's real?
02:10:35.000 That's got to be it.
02:10:36.000 Either that or I'm a total asshole.
02:10:38.000 I think it's probably it.
02:10:39.000 I think I'm a misogynistic douche.
02:10:41.000 I think that's it.
02:10:42.000 I hate women.
02:10:44.000 Joe, I hate women.
02:10:47.000 Fuck!
02:10:48.000 There's a thing we've all come to be accustomed to violence in films with human-on-human violence because we know that that's not really happening.
02:10:57.000 Whereas if you know a duckling is not a good actor.
02:11:01.000 So when you cut the foot off of a duckling and you see it happening...
02:11:06.000 Yeah, but then I go to a restaurant and I order a duck and I know it's happening somewhere.
02:11:11.000 Right.
02:11:11.000 So I'm a double douche.
02:11:14.000 I hate women and animals.
02:11:17.000 I don't think either of those statements is true.
02:11:19.000 But they'll get cut into music at some point.
02:11:22.000 You remember the scene in Apocalypse Now where they kill that bull?
02:11:24.000 No.
02:11:25.000 You remember that scene?
02:11:27.000 There's a scene...
02:11:28.000 See if you can find it, Jamie.
02:11:29.000 There's a scene in Apocalypse Now...
02:11:31.000 See, no, that wasn't a real duck.
02:11:32.000 Or it wasn't a real, like...
02:11:34.000 PETA defended the scene.
02:11:35.000 Oh!
02:11:36.000 Oh, that's good.
02:11:37.000 Feel better.
02:11:38.000 Just for context.
02:11:39.000 Watch the movie again.
02:11:39.000 There it again.
02:11:40.000 PETA defends Lars Von Teers, the House of Jack, against backlash over graphic animal mutilation scene.
02:11:46.000 PETA assures critics that the serial killer drama that no animal was harmed during the production.
02:11:52.000 Well, that's good.
02:11:53.000 Yeah.
02:11:53.000 There you go.
02:11:55.000 So they probably just taped its leg or something and then scooped it up and took the tape off its leg and just, you know, CGI'd the The cut.
02:12:07.000 But the bull in Apocalypse Now was real.
02:12:09.000 Oh, okay.
02:12:10.000 And it was a...
02:12:12.000 And that's a weird one, right?
02:12:13.000 Because they definitely kill bulls, and they definitely...
02:12:17.000 I mean, we eat steak all the time, but the way they did it, they did it...
02:12:22.000 I think they did it with a sword, right?
02:12:24.000 Is that what it was?
02:12:26.000 But they killed a real bull in the filming of this movie.
02:12:30.000 Well, El Topo, where they shoot all those rabbits?
02:12:32.000 I don't know that movie.
02:12:34.000 Magic Mountain.
02:12:36.000 The Mexican director who was supposed to do the original Alien movie, but there's a scene where the gunslinger walks through a huge pen filled with white bunnies and then starts to blow them away, and we see each rabbit exploded in a fairly close-up shot.
02:12:55.000 So it's real rabbits dying.
02:12:56.000 Yeah, and the rabbits are screaming and dying.
02:12:58.000 So probably why one of the most popular movies of the 70s El Topo doesn't get played very much.
02:13:06.000 Hmm.
02:13:07.000 I never even heard of it.
02:13:09.000 Yeah.
02:13:10.000 He was...
02:13:11.000 Yeah.
02:13:12.000 There it is.
02:13:12.000 There it is.
02:13:13.000 Not showing the rabbits, but they're all dead there.
02:13:15.000 Yeah.
02:13:18.000 What kind of fucking movie is this?
02:13:20.000 I don't know.
02:13:21.000 Movie looks terrible.
02:13:22.000 It was an enormous midnight movie through the 70s.
02:13:25.000 Really?
02:13:26.000 And they put together a huge consortium of really gifted people, and this guy was supposed to direct it, and it was going to be called Alien.
02:13:34.000 And at the last moment he bowed out, he couldn't direct it.
02:13:38.000 So that group of really gifted people decided to make their movie anyway.
02:13:42.000 And that's how Alien got put together.
02:13:45.000 So Ridley Scott was second choice?
02:13:48.000 I thought so.
02:13:50.000 Yeah, that was my understanding.
02:13:52.000 But the whole creative group was put together with Geiger and everybody.
02:13:56.000 Oh, wow.
02:13:57.000 And that's why it's such a fantastic movie because it was put together from the best of the best.
02:14:03.000 That is one of the rare movies from the 1970s that...
02:14:07.000 Well, not the rare movies it holds up, but science fiction movies it holds up.
02:14:12.000 You know why?
02:14:13.000 I'm going to tell you the magic.
02:14:14.000 Okay.
02:14:15.000 Take it from an old person.
02:14:17.000 How old are you?
02:14:19.000 75. Really?
02:14:20.000 You look great.
02:14:21.000 You know what I find really promising?
02:14:23.000 What?
02:14:24.000 Last week when Margaret Atwood got dumped on for being a TERF, did you see that?
02:14:29.000 No.
02:14:30.000 She made some social media comments about women and trans and people got very upset about it.
02:14:38.000 Okay.
02:14:40.000 But what I found most touching is that when the mass media reported on this whole upset, They reported, they said, middle-aged Canadian novelist blank.
02:14:54.000 Middle-aged.
02:14:56.000 How old is she?
02:14:57.000 In two weeks, she'll be 82 years old.
02:14:59.000 Wow.
02:15:00.000 That makes me a child again.
02:15:01.000 That's amazing.
02:15:02.000 I love that.
02:15:03.000 They have a lot of faith in science up in Canada.
02:15:05.000 That's what that is.
02:15:05.000 Yeah, in Canada, they live to like 200. Yeah, you can live forever up there.
02:15:10.000 So God bless Margaret Atwood, okay?
02:15:12.000 Anyway, what we loved about Alien...
02:15:17.000 Until I was sitting at the Island View Drive-In with Linda Ramos, space travel had been depicted as clean and glamorous and exciting, with good haircuts and great fitting clothes,
02:15:33.000 and it was everything, everything.
02:15:36.000 It was the Seattle World's Fair, it was the Jetsons, it was Lost in Space, it was everything.
02:15:42.000 And for the first time with Alien, we saw what space travel was really going to be.
02:15:47.000 Just an extension of drudgery and shitshow.
02:15:51.000 You're working in a factory that goes through space.
02:15:54.000 The end.
02:15:55.000 Right.
02:15:56.000 Right.
02:15:56.000 Because they were smoking cigarettes, sitting around eating, complaining about budgets.
02:16:00.000 Complaining about the food.
02:16:01.000 The food was crap.
02:16:02.000 The food was crap.
02:16:03.000 And they were talking about bonuses.
02:16:05.000 They were complaining about bonuses.
02:16:06.000 And someday there was going to be a payoff.
02:16:07.000 Yeah.
02:16:08.000 And they were going to do this one noble thing.
02:16:11.000 We've got to answer a distress signal.
02:16:14.000 And you're fucked.
02:16:15.000 Yeah.
02:16:15.000 You're fucked forever.
02:16:16.000 And that was 1970s romantic fatalism.
02:16:19.000 And we had seen that in every other form.
02:16:21.000 We'd seen Bonnie and Clyde.
02:16:22.000 We'd seen Midnight Cowboy.
02:16:23.000 We'd seen every horror movie.
02:16:25.000 We'd seen The Omen.
02:16:28.000 We'd seen The Sentinel.
02:16:29.000 We'd seen Rocky, where Rocky loses and the Bad News Bears lose.
02:16:33.000 And we'd seen Tony Manero do the dance contest and win and then find out he'd lost.
02:16:39.000 So, you know, everything was rigged.
02:16:42.000 Everything was bullshit.
02:16:43.000 But the one place where we had not seen bullshit was in outer space.
02:16:48.000 That's a really good point.
02:16:50.000 And then Alien came forward and they gave us 1970s romantic fatalism.
02:16:54.000 You're just going to be a schmo working in a dirty ship going through space wasting your life and then the company is going to flush you down the toilet.
02:17:03.000 Yeah.
02:17:05.000 And we accepted the face-hugger, and we accepted the chest-burster, and we accepted everything because somebody had told us the truth about what future and space travel was actually going to be like.
02:17:18.000 And we felt so honored that somebody was finally really honest with us.
02:17:26.000 That they weren't feeding us a line of bullshit anymore about space.
02:17:29.000 It's not much time difference between Star Wars and Alien.
02:17:35.000 It's like two years.
02:17:36.000 Two years.
02:17:37.000 Is it?
02:17:37.000 Yeah.
02:17:38.000 That's crazy.
02:17:39.000 But Star Wars was marketed to children who were still idealistic.
02:17:44.000 And Alien was marketed to kind of boomers.
02:17:48.000 Who had fallen out of the idealism of the 60s and they'd seen all that idealism amount to nothing and they'd sort of fallen into the me generation of disco by that point.
02:18:00.000 And they were looking for romantic fatalism to give them a takeaway from the death of their idealism.
02:18:07.000 It's interesting Sigourney Weaver.
02:18:09.000 Well, first of all, Sigourney Weaver in that film shows you that this idea of diversity of casting and of having a woman hero What really matters is that it's good.
02:18:25.000 What really matters is that the story's good and that it resonates and the acting is good.
02:18:29.000 No one cared that she was the star.
02:18:32.000 It had no effect.
02:18:34.000 It was never a token female star.
02:18:37.000 It was never some play at diversity where they could tell everybody, look how woke we are.
02:18:41.000 We have a female star.
02:18:42.000 There was none of that shit back then.
02:18:44.000 And they actually...
02:18:46.000 Had more authority when they killed off Tom Skerritt.
02:18:49.000 Yeah.
02:18:49.000 It's like, whoa, the white guy who listens to classical music is gone.
02:18:53.000 The captain.
02:18:54.000 Whoa!
02:18:54.000 We're left with a whiny woman, a bitchy woman, and a black guy.
02:18:59.000 Yeah.
02:19:00.000 What the hell is this?
02:19:02.000 And she almost dies to save her fucking cat.
02:19:06.000 There's a lot of cat theories out there.
02:19:09.000 I love the fact that when Linda and I saw that movie, it was like, yeah, the future is not really going to be any better.
02:19:18.000 That really was the first movie like that.
02:19:20.000 You're so right.
02:19:21.000 And there was Outlander with Sean Connery that came a few years after that where people were in space doing shit jobs, doing drugs on the side.
02:19:30.000 But even Blade Runner was a kind of glamorized future.
02:19:36.000 Well, Blade Runner certainly was like technologically glamorized.
02:19:41.000 And there was also the promise that in the outer world colonies, it was still going to be Lost in Space and Star Trek.
02:19:49.000 Is that where that took place?
02:19:51.000 I thought it took place on Earth.
02:19:53.000 It did take place on Earth, but there was always the presence of, if you go to the off-world colonies, life will be glorious.
02:19:59.000 That was supposed to be taking place around now, wasn't it?
02:20:02.000 Right, exactly.
02:20:03.000 Isn't that wild?
02:20:04.000 Boy, they fucking missed that mark.
02:20:06.000 Well, I grew up with Ray Bradbury's Martian Chronicles.
02:20:12.000 And at the time I was reading it, the Martian Chronicles were set in the 70s.
02:20:18.000 Ray Bradbury wrote it when?
02:20:20.000 He wrote most of it, and it was a fascinating kind of novel because he wrote a whole slew of short stories for science fiction magazines in the 40s and 50s.
02:20:30.000 And he thought, you know, if I could just plug some holes, I can sell this as a novel.
02:20:35.000 So he wrote that book over maybe 20 years, and then he just cobbled it all together like a quilt and called it a novel.
02:20:43.000 And some of the best books happen that way.
02:20:46.000 I think Joy Luck Club got put together that way.
02:20:49.000 A bunch of short stories.
02:20:50.000 Yeah.
02:20:52.000 Fight Club is short stories first, and then just kind of quilted them together.
02:20:57.000 What are you up to now?
02:21:00.000 Good question.
02:21:01.000 I got a serialized novel on Substack called Greener Pastures.
02:21:08.000 That's interesting.
02:21:09.000 It's coming out week to week, which is kind of a, you know, it's a drip for me.
02:21:14.000 So is it a subscription-based thing?
02:21:18.000 Yeah.
02:21:19.000 And then I also post, I'm posting a lot of sort of writing stuff.
02:21:26.000 I can only have like 20-25 students at a time and it's a way of kind of providing these for free to people likewise because they're the best things that were taught to me by my best teachers and I just assume they not die with me.
02:21:43.000 And what drew you to Substack?
02:21:46.000 Because journalists are flocking to it because they're tired of all the restrictions from editors and just the inability to just get your thoughts clearly without any sort of a filter.
02:21:57.000 That was a big, big attraction.
02:21:59.000 And they also approached me because there were a lot of primarily musicians last year who couldn't tour anymore.
02:22:06.000 And so they got some musicians on board.
02:22:09.000 It became the platform for them.
02:22:12.000 And I missed two tours last year.
02:22:14.000 I had three books out, one tour.
02:22:17.000 And so it seemed like an appealing way to kind of still reach my readership and to have more of a kind of...
02:22:29.000 Accessibility at any time to be able to go into that comment stream and interact with somebody.
02:22:34.000 For instance, Sassy.
02:22:36.000 Sassy is the Boston Terrier of a woman named Carrie, who is more or less kind of one of my Substack students.
02:22:43.000 I don't even know if she subscribes, but she seems like a very genuine person, and I wanted to mention her dog.
02:22:49.000 And it's nice to have that voluntary way to interact with people.
02:22:56.000 Yeah, I miss that.
02:22:57.000 I miss that a lot.
02:22:58.000 That's a big part of my creative process.
02:23:01.000 Do you interact or have you on social media?
02:23:03.000 Do you follow anything?
02:23:05.000 Are you on Facebook?
02:23:07.000 I have a presence on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
02:23:11.000 But there's a very nice gentleman named Dennis.
02:23:15.000 He manages all of that.
02:23:17.000 So you don't interact with people or read comments or anything?
02:23:20.000 That's probably healthy anyway.
02:23:22.000 The Substack thing, what separates Substack from the rest of social media?
02:23:27.000 Is it that they need to seek you out in particular?
02:23:31.000 And then if they're going to your Substack, they clearly are interested in your writing and they know who you are, they know what you do, they're fans of your work, they're not just casuals?
02:23:42.000 Right.
02:23:42.000 You're not kind of imposing yourself on people's lives.
02:23:45.000 Right.
02:23:46.000 They seek you.
02:23:47.000 Right.
02:23:48.000 Right.
02:23:48.000 Yeah.
02:23:49.000 And also, Substack is very user-friendly, very intuitive, and it's not a big learning curve to do something that looks decent.
02:23:59.000 And I'd much rather put my time and my thought into the content rather than into how I structure and present the content.
02:24:06.000 Right.
02:24:07.000 And so for somebody like me who would rather be writing than formatting, it's really easy.
02:24:14.000 Yeah, so I didn't know that Substack was reaching out to people.
02:24:19.000 That's very smart of them.
02:24:21.000 And maybe I shouldn't have said that, but...
02:24:23.000 Why not?
02:24:23.000 It's true.
02:24:24.000 They're very hand-holding.
02:24:26.000 Yeah?
02:24:26.000 Kind of a concierge.
02:24:28.000 Oh, that's cool.
02:24:29.000 I know a lot of really prominent journalists that have taken their writing and moved over to there and...
02:24:36.000 You know, for people that have run into problems with social media censoring their ideas and censoring their work, and that's a real issue, especially if you're a journalist that covers controversial subjects, anything that has to do with COVID-19 runs into the possibility of being censored.
02:24:53.000 YouTube censors people, Twitter censors people, Instagram censors people.
02:24:58.000 Well, the structure of The thing itself censors people because writing fiction or writing in general is almost becoming what painting was when photography came in.
02:25:09.000 Because now as I start to write, the computer is correcting my spelling.
02:25:14.000 The computer is correcting my grammar.
02:25:17.000 The computer is anticipating what my next few words are going to be.
02:25:21.000 And I find myself in a constant battle.
02:25:24.000 With this kind of steering, helpful software that is trying to take me down a very standardized road.
02:25:31.000 And it's really hard to sort of thwart all of these sort of controlling devices to try to write something that is clumsily worded but more honestly worded and also goes to a place that the culture doesn't necessarily want to go to.
02:25:50.000 And so there's all these kind of I'm thwarting things that are kind of funneling people in the same direction.
02:25:58.000 And sometimes I want to misspell a word.
02:26:00.000 Sometimes I want to have a really clumsy grammatical construction.
02:26:03.000 And sometimes I want to go to a place that nobody wants to go to.
02:26:07.000 And I can do that.
02:26:09.000 Do you write on paper, just pen to pen?
02:26:11.000 You do a lot of that, right?
02:26:12.000 Look, right in front of you.
02:26:13.000 Say something, I'll write it down.
02:26:15.000 We talked about that last time.
02:26:17.000 You felt like there's a more intimate relationship with, or a clean relationship with just ink, paper, thoughts, go to the ink, do the paper.
02:26:26.000 Oh yeah, because I've got a mind like a sieve.
02:26:30.000 I can't remember anything.
02:26:32.000 But if I can write it down, I've got it.
02:26:35.000 But you choose paper rather than using notes on your phone or something like that?
02:26:42.000 You know, it's already intrusive enough.
02:26:44.000 When somebody sees me pick up the pen, if they saw me take out the phone and break eye contact...
02:26:50.000 And put my energy into this little thing, it would be even more off-putting.
02:26:55.000 I can't write that fast.
02:26:56.000 You know, you develop a shorthand.
02:26:59.000 So you develop your own personal shorthand where you kind of know exactly what you're saying?
02:27:04.000 Yeah.
02:27:05.000 So the writing process, say if you're writing a book, would you write it out on paper before you would type it out?
02:27:14.000 Always.
02:27:15.000 That's why I came here, I swear to God.
02:27:18.000 I hate airplanes.
02:27:21.000 But God bless you.
02:27:23.000 You put me on these two four-hour flights.
02:27:26.000 And if I ask for seat 1A, I can put that tray table down and I can put my notebook out and I can keyboard for four hours and I have nothing else to do.
02:27:38.000 I have no other choice but to keyboard.
02:27:40.000 And so I will take a trip just to be trapped in that seat and transcribe my notes and get so much work done.
02:27:49.000 It's so funny that you say that because I too have done some of my best writing trapped on a plane.
02:27:54.000 Isn't that funny?
02:27:55.000 It's like, what is it about the mind that doesn't want you to just completely lock in and focus?
02:28:03.000 When you have zero options, like the internet is shit.
02:28:07.000 The very best you could do is occasionally like check your email, right?
02:28:10.000 You can't watch anything.
02:28:12.000 I think there's two factors.
02:28:15.000 And one of them, I'm going to kind of plug this thing with the Substack money.
02:28:20.000 I'm funding a program called Study Hall, where I just rent a space, and anybody who wants to can just show up in this space, but they have to work quietly.
02:28:31.000 And people who can't work at home and people who want to be in the presence of other people doing a similar task, they can find the comfort of other people who are doing writing.
02:28:43.000 And it seems to be enormous popular with people like myself because it's so hard to do this kind of work at home where there's a lot of distractions, a lot of demands.
02:28:54.000 I used to do my best work at work.
02:28:58.000 I could get my work done in two hours and then spend the rest of my workday, you know, making notes.
02:29:04.000 And with this study hall thing, it doesn't cost them anything.
02:29:08.000 I pay all the expenses.
02:29:10.000 And it's so, it validates the task when you're surrounded by people who are also doing it.
02:29:17.000 And that's part of being on the airplane, is that you're surrounded by people who are trapped like you are.
02:29:23.000 And for the most part, are making the trip because it's part of their job.
02:29:28.000 And it's very low distraction.
02:29:31.000 There's very little else to do.
02:29:32.000 And so I think those are the two things.
02:29:35.000 The structured lack of distraction and also the proximity of other people in studious kind of behavior.
02:29:45.000 The study hall thing, it probably mimics the kind of camaraderie we were talking about at the gym as well.
02:29:50.000 Exactly.
02:29:51.000 And it's not the distraction of Starbucks, which, you know, presented itself as the third place for so long.
02:29:59.000 You know, for me, I got a lot more writing done at the gym than any coffee shop.
02:30:06.000 Yeah, I know what you're saying.
02:30:10.000 I've often gotten off planes writing something that I was like, wow, there's something real there.
02:30:16.000 And go, why the fuck can't I do that at home?
02:30:18.000 Why do I struggle to do it at home?
02:30:20.000 And so often with first drafts, you know they're going to be terrible and they're going to be difficult and it's going to be just a grind.
02:30:27.000 So unless you've got a Vicodin, you've got to do it around other people.
02:30:31.000 Because you've got to find some way to make it bearable.
02:30:35.000 Is Vicodin good to write on?
02:30:37.000 You know, it used to be, but it's been a long, long time.
02:30:41.000 That short story I wrote called Guts that makes people faint, I wrote that on a Vicodin.
02:30:48.000 But to tell the truth, the last time I took Vicodin was when I taped the Anthony Bourdain show, No Reservations.
02:30:57.000 He came to Portland, and I kind of was his co-host.
02:31:01.000 And I was so intimidated in this role that I took a couple big fat Vicodin and just kind of floated through it.
02:31:10.000 But that was a long time ago.
02:31:12.000 Yeah.
02:31:14.000 I think I did Vicodin once when I had my knee surgery.
02:31:18.000 It was either Vicodin or Percocet.
02:31:20.000 I can't remember.
02:31:22.000 But I wound up selling them all to my friend Jeff because I couldn't deal with it.
02:31:27.000 Whatever my brain chemistry was, it just didn't jive.
02:31:30.000 It made me so stupid.
02:31:32.000 I remember sitting on the couch with my mouth open going, I am never taking this shit again.
02:31:36.000 Well, and that's another nice thing.
02:31:38.000 God, I sound like such a junkie.
02:31:42.000 Is that if you've got notes and you're just transcribing them, you don't have to be bright.
02:31:47.000 You are already bright.
02:31:49.000 The bright is on the page already, and you're just the monkey that's typing it into the computer at that point.
02:31:55.000 Right.
02:31:56.000 So, do you ever try to just write on a computer, or is this not worth it for you?
02:32:01.000 Like, the intrusiveness of the software and everything is just too much?
02:32:06.000 No, it's just too boring.
02:32:08.000 It's too static.
02:32:09.000 But it's quicker, right?
02:32:10.000 Isn't it quicker to type things out than it is to write with your fingers?
02:32:13.000 Yeah, but the problem is it's quicker, but it looks more legitimate.
02:32:17.000 Because once it's up there in 12-point New Times Roman, it looks like a book.
02:32:22.000 And it's much tougher to go back to it once it looks like a book.
02:32:27.000 And I think that there's a kind of fake authority when young people, you know, they can just type and it looks like a book.
02:32:34.000 So it's much harder to go back and rewrite.
02:32:37.000 But if it looks like scrolling on a page, I can go back and I can scribble over it.
02:32:42.000 I can rewrite it intensely before it ever starts to look like a book.
02:32:47.000 And do you rewrite on the written page as well?
02:32:50.000 Always.
02:32:50.000 Always.
02:32:51.000 And then I key it with letters and numbers so I can see how it might go together initially.
02:32:57.000 Yeah, always.
02:32:58.000 Do you have specific types of notebooks that you use?
02:33:02.000 The kinds made of paper?
02:33:05.000 I mean, do you use, like, legal pads?
02:33:07.000 Do you use, like, a large notebook?
02:33:09.000 Or do you use, like, the small one that you have right there, which looks like an 8x6 or something?
02:33:13.000 Yeah, it's like a steno pad.
02:33:17.000 10x6.
02:33:20.000 For a long time I just used moleskins.
02:33:24.000 But they seem a little pretentious.
02:33:26.000 They do.
02:33:27.000 And also they don't burn.
02:33:29.000 And I always pile my books up and burn them every winter.
02:33:34.000 Really?
02:33:35.000 Yeah.
02:33:35.000 And so...
02:33:36.000 Why do you do that?
02:33:38.000 Because, yeah, why should the scaffolding be kept around?
02:33:45.000 It's a kind of cleansing thing.
02:33:48.000 Yeah.
02:33:50.000 I would think that people would want those.
02:33:52.000 Yeah, I don't care what people want.
02:33:54.000 I'm not about what people want, okay?
02:33:56.000 But you are when it comes to your writing.
02:33:57.000 You were talking about how you want to give people something that they're going to enjoy and that they want.
02:34:03.000 I want to give them the opportunity to express themselves by seeing something that they might relate to.
02:34:11.000 And if I give them a meaning, if I say, okay, what does this picture of a rat look like?
02:34:17.000 That's not a Rorschach test.
02:34:18.000 That's me dictating.
02:34:20.000 And so, in a way, by removing the scaffolding, by kind of Refusing to dictate my intentions, I think I'm giving them a greater freedom in assigning their own meaning.
02:34:35.000 That makes sense.
02:34:36.000 But as a person who's a fan of your work, I would think it'd be cool as fuck to have one of your pads.
02:34:42.000 Like if someone was like a fan, they could see it somewhere long after you're dead.
02:34:47.000 Like I've got a letter that Hunter S. Thompson wrote.
02:34:51.000 And it's mounted on a frame in my office.
02:34:54.000 It's like, just go buy it.
02:34:55.000 Look at it.
02:34:56.000 That guy wrote this shit with a pen.
02:34:58.000 There it is.
02:34:59.000 There's his handwriting.
02:35:01.000 And that's great.
02:35:02.000 And I love to send those letters.
02:35:05.000 Yeah, I do way more than that.
02:35:07.000 It's insane how much I send.
02:35:09.000 But that's not my point.
02:35:12.000 That's the extra.
02:35:13.000 You send letters?
02:35:14.000 What do you mean?
02:35:15.000 Oh, dear God.
02:35:17.000 Oh!
02:35:18.000 During the lockdown, I made over a hundred really elaborate four-foot bookmarks out of semi-precious stones that I picked up around the world on book tours.
02:35:31.000 My dad was a huge rock hound.
02:35:35.000 And I still remember the first days when he'd take my brother and I to this little rock shop, and he'd show us hematite, or he'd show us goldstone or pyrite.
02:35:45.000 And then we would go look for agates.
02:35:47.000 So my earliest memories of my dad were always around these rocks, finding rocks, finding fossils.
02:35:54.000 You know, and he was a railroad brakeman.
02:35:56.000 He wasn't really a geologist.
02:35:58.000 He just loved rocks.
02:36:01.000 And so as I travel, I'm always looking for semi-precious stones.
02:36:06.000 Everything.
02:36:09.000 I came back from Germany a couple years ago, and I sat next to a gemologist who told me a great story.
02:36:17.000 I don't know it's true, but I think it's true.
02:36:22.000 And he said, pawn shops, hawk shops, when people would pawn diamond rings, The pawn shops, they didn't really have a way of judging what diamonds were worth what.
02:36:35.000 So typically, they'd just pry the diamond out of the setting, out of the fitting, and all the diamonds would end up in a cigar box under the counter, and they'd melt down the gold because the gold could be assayed and had a value.
02:36:48.000 And during the 1930s, I believe, there was one small jewelry store.
02:36:53.000 And they more or less knew that every pawn shop in the country had a cigar box full of battered, second-hand diamonds that could be recut and graded and set.
02:37:06.000 And so this jewelry store owner sent his sons around the country with cash and offered every pawn shop $100 cash For the box of diamonds we know you have.
02:37:18.000 And every pawn shop more or less said, take them.
02:37:21.000 They're worthless to us.
02:37:23.000 And so these sons came home with this enormous trove of diamonds that had been pried out of pawned rings.
02:37:32.000 And they were reset, and they were polished, and they were recut.
02:37:35.000 And that is how the Shane Company came into existence.
02:37:39.000 This is what the gemologist told me.
02:37:41.000 He says it's a famous industry story.
02:37:46.000 And I love rocks.
02:37:48.000 I love learning about rocks.
02:37:49.000 I love finding rocks.
02:37:52.000 Every aspect of rocks I love.
02:37:54.000 And so I had made all of these enormous bookmarks and then wrapped them in very elaborate ways.
02:38:00.000 And then for an animal rescue that I really support, anyone who donated $100 or more, I sent them one of these gifts.
02:38:09.000 And each of these gifts takes me between three and four days to make.
02:38:13.000 Wow.
02:38:13.000 Full-time.
02:38:14.000 And I made them all through the lockdown.
02:38:17.000 And they're all gone.
02:38:19.000 But, you know, I'm not going to live forever.
02:38:27.000 And it's going to be really nice that I can provide that moment when people get that unexplained thing.
02:38:34.000 And they're really dazzled by it.
02:38:36.000 And as part of sort of opening it, they have to destroy it.
02:38:41.000 That's part of the ritual.
02:38:43.000 How so?
02:38:45.000 I'm trying to picture these things.
02:38:47.000 Do you have images of them?
02:38:48.000 Yeah, I do.
02:38:49.000 On my cell phone, yeah, they are wrapped up in this...
02:38:55.000 Can you airdrop it to Jamie so we can look at it?
02:38:57.000 Yeah, this huge kind of Ukrainian over-the-top fancy way, like Ukrainian Easter eggs.
02:39:04.000 Send it to Jamie so we can look at it while we're talking about it.
02:39:07.000 Sure.
02:39:07.000 My phone's out in the lobby.
02:39:09.000 Oh, okay.
02:39:10.000 My substack, I've got some pictures of him.
02:39:14.000 Oh, go to the substack.
02:39:16.000 He'll go.
02:39:18.000 Let me think.
02:39:19.000 Because I'm trying to picture rocks and bookmarks.
02:39:22.000 I'm like, I'm not piecing this together in my head right.
02:39:26.000 It's kind of heartbreaking because they're so beautifully wrapped that people have to destroy all this beauty in order to find out what's inside of it.
02:39:34.000 And it makes a really nice metaphor and a really nice kind of discovery process where something has to be sacrificed in order to have a greater understanding of what it is.
02:39:45.000 Yeah, it is all just kind of a...
02:39:47.000 I used pieces of jewelry that belonged to my mother before she died.
02:39:50.000 So it's got...
02:39:51.000 They're kind of cobbled together from things associated with both of my parents.
02:39:57.000 And so during this pandemic, you've been doing that.
02:40:01.000 You built a castle.
02:40:04.000 You're writing on Substack?
02:40:06.000 Yeah.
02:40:07.000 I'm teaching?
02:40:08.000 Yeah.
02:40:09.000 Yeah, the teaching is interesting.
02:40:11.000 You seem to find that very rewarding to workshop with people and teach people.
02:40:17.000 So these are the things?
02:40:19.000 Oh, there it is.
02:40:22.000 So that is a bookmark?
02:40:24.000 There's bookmarks inside.
02:40:26.000 That's two of the presents.
02:40:27.000 There's some of the hundred and plus that I put together.
02:40:31.000 And what are those flowers made out of?
02:40:33.000 Those are all flowers from the dollar store.
02:40:36.000 So plastic flower?
02:40:37.000 Poly silk, whatever that's called.
02:40:40.000 Huh.
02:40:43.000 Wow.
02:40:45.000 And so they have to open all that jazz up?
02:40:48.000 They have to destroy it.
02:40:49.000 They have to destroy it?
02:40:50.000 Yeah.
02:40:51.000 What do you mean by destroy it?
02:40:53.000 Because it's all glued together really tightly.
02:40:55.000 Oh, on purpose.
02:40:57.000 Yeah.
02:40:57.000 And it's also really durable so that it makes it through shipping still looking really good.
02:41:05.000 Yeah.
02:41:06.000 Yeah, I'm a stupid person.
02:41:07.000 You're not a stupid person at all.
02:41:09.000 But the world can live without one more person.
02:41:12.000 The world can certainly live without one more person, but you're not stupid.
02:41:17.000 That's interesting.
02:41:18.000 And it's interesting that I like the fact that you like to burn your notes, despite what I said.
02:41:22.000 I think it's fun.
02:41:23.000 Did you ever read Lewis Hyde's book, The Gift?
02:41:25.000 No.
02:41:27.000 It is a fascinating book, and it really speaks to the role that gifts play in our culture throughout all of history as a gesture, not as a thing to be gotten, but as a kind of gesture or process.
02:41:45.000 And how the gesture itself is the important part, not the object.
02:41:50.000 And so what I'm trying to do is kind of replicate that Lewis Hyde demonstration of gift as gesture or ritual.
02:42:03.000 Yeah.
02:42:04.000 Yeah.
02:42:05.000 I like it.
02:42:06.000 I like it all.
02:42:07.000 And, you know, he writes a lot about the cultural...
02:42:14.000 Cross-cultural aspect that each of us, in almost every culture, it's perceived that we're each born with a genie or an hideous demon or a genius or a guardian angel.
02:42:28.000 And it's more or less a spirit that has a destiny for us.
02:42:34.000 And if we will Sacrifice time and effort to developing this gift, then the Spirit will remain with us and keep us safe for our entire life.
02:42:48.000 And in turn, the Spirit will be allowed to transcend to a higher plane of existence.
02:42:55.000 But if we don't accept our gift, and if we don't kind of live into our destiny, whatever that gift is, then the spirit becomes malevolent, and it becomes something that haunts us and destroys us, destroys our entire household.
02:43:09.000 I think the ancient Greeks called it the lemur, L-E-M-U-R, like the small monkey.
02:43:17.000 And so...
02:43:19.000 I just want to keep that in mind that it's about, you know, sacrificing or dedicating, devoting a certain amount of time and energy to kind of fulfilling that destiny.
02:43:37.000 At some age you realize you have to sacrifice your life for something.
02:43:42.000 And I decided to sacrifice my life for writing.
02:43:45.000 Because otherwise, you know, my life is going to be kind of scattershot.
02:43:51.000 Yeah.
02:43:52.000 So do you feel like in some ways that you're at the service of this gift that you have?
02:43:58.000 Always.
02:43:58.000 Always.
02:43:59.000 Yeah.
02:44:00.000 And it's not a negative thing.
02:44:03.000 Right.
02:44:03.000 It's a complete dedication.
02:44:05.000 Right.
02:44:09.000 Let's leave it at that.
02:44:10.000 Okay.
02:44:10.000 Let's close here.
02:44:11.000 Thank you.
02:44:11.000 Thank you very much.
02:44:12.000 I really appreciate it.
02:44:13.000 I really enjoyed that.
02:44:14.000 Thank you so much.
02:44:15.000 Bye, everybody.
02:44:17.000 Bye.