On this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian and podcaster joins us to talk about his life and career, his love of stand-up comedy, and the future of the entertainment industry. We also talk about the dangers of being a male hooker, and why we should all have more sympathy for women who are victims of the "Panda Pandemic." Also, we talk about what it's like to be a robot hooker and why it's a good thing we don't care about male hookers. Joe and Gilbert are both comedians and podcasters. They've been in the business for a long time and have a great sense of humor. They talk about their experiences in comedy and comedy and what it means to them, and what they think of the current state of comedy and standup comedy in general. We hope you enjoy this episode, and don't forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform so you don't miss out on the next episode! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us what you think about it! We'll be looking out for more like this in the future episodes! Thank you so much for all the love and support! -Maggie, Caitie, Sarah, Sarah and the crew at The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast. -Joe Rogan Podcast. Thank you for all your support and support - Thank you, Sarah & the support you've shown us with all of your support. and all the support we've gotten so far this week's work, we're looking forward to the work you've been shown us through this week, we appreciate it, we really appreciate it. XOXO. Thank You, Sarah! -Sue and the team at The J.R. Podcast -Jon and the Crew at J-Rogan Experience Podcast - Thank You for all of the love & support we're going out here! -KIMPODCAST! -J.J. Rogan and the J. Rogans Podcast, All Day All Day Podcast, All Day all day All Day, Thank you J.O. Thank You J. R. & the Crew, G.A.B.Y.E.P. & Thank You! -A.M.
00:01:24.000No, I think even before, even before, like, it was the pandemic, movies, you know, it got to that point where it's like, A movie would be in theaters and also at home on TV. I think movies are going to go the way of vaudeville.
00:01:56.000Do you think we'll ever get to a point where there's going to be virtual comedy clubs where you'll be at home and you'll be watching stand-up in an audience?
00:02:04.000You'll feel like you're in an audience because you're watching them live.
00:02:07.000You'll be able to buy a ticket for Zany's at 8 p.m.
00:02:11.000on Friday, but you'll be able to watch it from home.
00:02:13.000So you could sit in your underwear and watch?
00:02:19.000I mean, already, like, I did a show on the internet, and other people have done stand-up on the internet during the pandemic, and it shows you're really...
00:02:54.000Anyway, John, before the pandemic, was doing these corporate gigs where they would bring him to a place and he would stand in front of an array of screens, like 30 or 40 screens, and he would do his act and you could see the people They're faces,
00:09:15.000Yeah, it's like, so all of a sudden, this isn't normal.
00:09:21.000I'm up here saying dumb shit, and people are laughing and clapping their hands, and then I feel bad if I say dumb shit, and then not clapping their hands.
00:09:51.000And then we were going to do a show here at Vulcan, Vulcan Gas Company on 6th Street, and Ron decided to do a set, and he prepared, went over his material, went up, and absolutely fucking annihilated, just destroyed.
00:10:07.000And then he gets off stage and he grabs me by both shoulders and goes, whatever the fuck we have to do to keep doing this, we're going to do this for you.
00:16:24.000There was a line in the original song, when they sing Arabian Nights, where he sings, where they cut off your nose if they don't like your face,
00:20:38.000You take a Sunday spin Go and watch the Dodgers win Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin Hair was short and skirts were long Kate Smith really grooved a song I don't know where we went wrong Those were the days.
00:21:09.000Isn't it funny that every generation complains about the direction the new generation is going in?
00:21:15.000Because if we go back to 1970, we look at it, we go, oh my god, look how crazy life was back then.
00:24:04.000And we had on some, like, expert on Columbo, and that brought back—remember that footage of Peter Falk?
00:24:17.000There was this footage, like somebody on people's phones, he was like, you know, roaming through the street, his clothes looked more ragged than Columbo's, and his potbelly was hanging out of his shirt,
00:24:33.000and he looked like a mess, and he died of Alzheimer's.
00:24:43.000Dementia and Alzheimer's and just watching someone deteriorate like that.
00:24:48.000That's why the Joe Biden thing is so sad because it's happening in real time and everybody's trying to pretend it's not happening because he's the president.
00:25:13.000It's like, I always think when people say, like, oh, you know, Belushi and Chris Farley, that's so tragic.
00:25:24.000And I'm thinking, they died, stoned out of their mind, and great state.
00:25:31.000You know, just floating, just total ecstasy, and a hooker is blowing them wild there in this stone state, and that's how they died.
00:25:42.000And I'm thinking, okay, what about these people, Alzheimer's, MS, Parkinson's, all these horrible things where, after a while, people are just wired up to machines.
00:26:23.000Well, they didn't really show her so much, but it was that she had something like one of those diseases that cripples you and where you're still alive, but after a while you can't blink your eyes.
00:29:55.000And also, well, like movies today with sequels, after a while they would do identical plots from one to the next with one or two scenes changed.
00:33:04.000I wonder what the obsession with monsters was back then, because that was a good percentage of the films that were made were monsters.
00:33:11.000Maybe it was just that they were successful.
00:33:13.000There was also someone we interviewed on the podcast, I think it's David Scholl, whose theory I think I think I'm going to go.
00:33:40.000We're now alive with missing arms and legs and their faces.
00:33:47.000And his feeling is that's what made people so fascinated with monsters because these were like real live monsters around them.
00:34:00.000Yeah, there's a bunch of photos online of people who survived in World War II. And they survived gunshot wounds to their face and things along those lines.
00:34:14.000Because so many people coming back from the war that did live.
00:34:18.000Yeah, it was like much nicer and prettier if the soldiers would just die.
00:34:27.000But once they live and you see what actually happens to them...
00:34:33.000The worst story I heard about the war was from World War I where the Russians and the Germans had to have a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves that they actually joined together to kill the wolves in Russia.
00:34:46.000There was hundreds of wolves because what had happened is they were doing trench warfare, right?
00:34:52.000And so a guy would get shot and he'd be in agony in the trenches and the wolves would smell the blood and the wolves would go into the trenches and eat the men alive.
00:36:20.000And then it's like, And they'd sing it, American and French.
00:36:31.000And Sandler said, in Belgium, of course, he was there during World War II. Oh, and he said that Nazis would take over people's houses and use them as headquarters.
00:36:48.000And he had Nazis in his house, and they were instructed, just do everything as you normally do.
00:39:32.000And I think what Roger Ebert said, stop action looks phony but feels real.
00:39:45.000And he says, CGI looks real but feels phony.
00:39:51.000Yeah, there is something about CGI that just doesn't resonate.
00:39:55.000There's something about it where it just doesn't feel right.
00:39:58.000You know, there's a lot of these guys that do that Rick Baker style makeup for movies, and they're big advocates of that.
00:40:07.000They don't think we should have CGI because there's a disconnect when you see something on the screen that's computer generated, even if it's really realistic.
00:40:14.000Did you see the Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro?
00:41:52.000I mean, even as a kid, I knew how they made King Kong move, how the dinosaurs move.
00:41:59.000I knew how Chaney turned into the Wolfman by turning the camera on and off, but I loved watching that, and it still feels more real to me.
00:42:10.000Well, it's also fun because you're watching these people make the best with what they had, and you know what was available then as opposed to now.
00:42:18.000Like, stop motion, claymation, all that kind of stuff, and the kind of makeup.
00:42:23.000Like, Lone Chaney Sr., a guy disfigured his face to make those movies, tortured himself.
00:42:29.000And there was also, like, I used to be fascinated to hear...
00:42:34.000People talk about how effects were done in movies.
00:42:38.000And now if you ask someone, it'll be like, well, this button makes it rain and this button makes dinosaurs show up and this button fire shoots out of the dinosaur.
00:42:54.000Well, it's also, if you look at the American Werewolf in London, because of the fact that it wasn't computer generated, they had to show you everything in very quick flashes.
00:46:30.000And I think this was so successful that it sort of ignited this desire for werewolf movies.
00:46:38.000Oh, and then there's a dopey horror film that I think it's called The Beast Within that does a transformation scene that goes on like way too long, but it's so much fun to watch.
00:51:24.000Yeah, the guys who were here yesterday, Ari Shafir, Shane Gillis, and Mark Norman were on yesterday, and they're headed down to Skankfest today.
00:52:18.000Well, it always gets me when, you know, they'll show, to get a laugh, they'll show a politician or a singer on stage who says, I love you, Ohio, and then it turns out they weren't in Ohio.
00:52:36.000See, I don't laugh at that because when I'm doing clubs, I'll be walking through the city, and I don't know what city I'm in, and people will recognize me and ask me, oh, where are you playing?
00:54:54.000Yeah, it's because once you're in the groove of actually telling your jokes and actually doing your set, you think that you're in the same mindset that you were in two hours earlier for that show and two hours before that.
00:55:08.000You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
00:56:29.000And then I'll be switching around the channels, and it's like, I'll go, okay, this I really don't like, but it's less awful than the other things I was clicking on.
00:56:43.000Do you bring people with you when you go on the road, or do you just accept the local acts?
00:57:12.000Like, if you're friends with a guy and he says, can you watch my set, that's one thing.
00:57:16.000But if you don't even know the guy and he wants you to be a consultant on his material, like, come on, buddy.
00:57:21.000And it's also that thing of, you know, when you've been doing comedy a while, the very best you could ask for in watching a bit is, ah, that was clever.
01:00:24.000I was in New York and we were in a cab and I looked out the window and there's that big awning of Dangerfields and it said like room, you know, space for rent.
01:01:52.000There was never a scene where he didn't have that stupid captain's hat on.
01:01:55.000And I've done a few of these autograph conventions.
01:01:59.000And you'll see these guys, they're like 90, signing autographs, and they'll have their caps or funny hats that their character in TV shows should wear.
01:07:53.000The judge and Paul McCartney's divorce settlement berated the former Beatles' estranged wife, Heather Mills, for giving inconsistent and inaccurate evidence according to the details of the ruling released on Tuesday.
01:08:05.000If I was him, I would have dragged that divorce out to the end of time.
01:09:36.000They all thought, you know, the other three, they were named, you know, great musicians, and he's just, you know, goofy-looking guy playing drums.
01:09:46.000People didn't respect drummers for a long time.
01:12:05.000I'm sure there are a lot of ones that, even if they weren't originally planned out, after doing them for years, it looks like the guy's riffing, but his hands are just playing it already.
01:12:26.000You know, there are those bits you do where it's like, and I'm sure, yeah, with singers and with, you know, stage actors, after a while, you could be doing something dramatic or whatever,
01:12:43.000and it's like saying the Pledge of Allegiance.
01:12:53.000Unless they're still enjoying it, you know?
01:12:55.000I mean, I've been doing stand-up now for 33 years, and one thing that did happen during the pandemic was when I started doing it again, I really...
01:13:08.000Not that I ever had no appreciation for it, but it reignited my appreciation to an even higher degree.
01:13:15.000Because having all that time off and it almost went away and now that we're doing shows again, it feels like magic again.
01:13:25.000Well, it's like – because what I noticed that – you know, like I said, where I said, you know, what bits do I actually do and what am I doing?
01:13:35.000And then you realize, oh, this is something that I do.
01:15:34.000When you were 15, when you started, had you been a fan of watching comedy before you did it?
01:15:40.000Well, I was just a fan of show business and actors and comics.
01:15:49.000So I started watching people on TV and imitating them.
01:15:54.000And so when I first, the first couple of years, like maybe two, three years that I was doing it, I wasn't that different than like, you know, when they used to have impressionists,
01:16:10.000you know, Rich Little, Frank Ocean, Will Jordan.
01:16:16.000And, you know, that, uh, hey, you know, which was always like, uh, and imagine if your waiter was Cary Grant, it might go something like this.
01:16:28.000That was a lot of people's acts back then.
01:19:49.000There's a lot of doctors and scientists and researchers that are looking at aging as a disease instead of looking at it as just inevitability.
01:19:58.000They're thinking it's a disease that everybody has.
01:20:01.000And treating it that way, they can, instead of saying, oh, it's inevitable, let's just prolong your health as long as possible.
01:20:09.000Yeah, they're trying to cure it and they're trying to make it so that as your cells regenerate and as you replicate that you don't have errors.
01:20:20.000That's what liver spots are and when your skin loses collagen and all the things that turn you into an older person.
01:20:27.000They're trying to figure out ways to mitigate that.
01:20:30.000See, that's one of those things, like, whenever I go to a doctor or a dentist, I always think, for this visit, can I take a time machine a thousand years from now?
01:21:39.000Yeah, because if you find out early on that you're, like, maybe the fetus is only, like, 15 weeks old or 12 weeks old or something like that.
01:22:38.000I don't know what would avoid something.
01:22:40.000Like, I had a guy in here a couple days ago, Rob Kearney, who's a strong man, like a just big fucking manly guy, had ball cancer out of nowhere.
01:22:50.000And he said it spread so fast, and he had to get one of his testicles removed.
01:25:21.000Well, I remember when we would play at a theater, and a theater was a place where performers would go on stage and an audience would watch them.
01:25:43.000I followed Richard Pryor for like five or six weeks at the comedy store when he was in a wheelchair.
01:25:49.000And so they would carry him to the stage and set him down and they would crank the mic way up like...
01:25:59.000Yes, yeah, like you would hear the mic was cranked as loud as it could and he was a shell of himself Yeah, he was dying.
01:26:07.000Yeah, he was on all kinds of medication and he was drinking yeah, and he would go on stage and he the audience would be so sad and And then I would have to go on after him, and it would take five minutes to get him from the stage to the back of the room.
01:26:24.000And so while that was happening, I would be on stage.
01:26:27.000Yeah, so everything you're doing for at least the first three quarters of your act.
01:26:33.000The first couple minutes are rough, and you know...
01:26:37.000I would just try to lighten up the mood a little bit because you could see the people's faces.
01:27:47.000Scrapped old previously shot footage and then got a new director and I heard in LA there was one theater that was just showing it once a day because it wasn't worth the electricity to show it because nobody was seeing it.
01:28:08.000But what I remember is That's where I met Richard Pryor.
01:29:52.000One time I was getting on a plane and a few miles down from me I saw George Carlin.
01:30:02.000Well, yeah, he was a few hours ahead of me, and I'd never met him before, so I didn't want to bother him, and I sat down, and then he gets up from his chair, and he looks at me and is walking toward me,
01:30:48.000But when it was getting near the end of the flight, when they announced that we're gonna be descending soon...
01:30:57.000He came over to me again, and he scribbled his phone number down on a piece of paper, and he said to me, next time you're appearing on TV, I want you to call me and tell me,
01:31:12.000because I want to see what's going on in that brain of yours.
01:31:23.000Yeah, I saw him perform live a few times.
01:31:26.000I saw him perform live in New Hampshire when I was like 21 in like 1988. I saw him there, and I saw him at the Comedy Store later, and I ran into him once at the Comedy Store, and he was so unassuming.
01:33:54.000It's like I think they'll look at you when you're known and they'll think, oh, you know, somebody sprinkled some dust on you, magic dust, and you immediately became known.
01:34:08.000And you'll be able to tell me how I can do that.
01:34:10.000Yes, yes, where I can get this dust from and I'll sprinkle on myself.
01:38:19.000There's either saloon door, like a swing saloon door, or beads, where you'd go into the adult section, and no one would make eye contact in there.
01:38:27.000Everybody would be all weirded out, and they'd be just grabbing these boxes real quick, just pick something and go rent it.
01:38:33.000Yeah, you're standing there like you're in a urinal.
01:38:37.000You look down, you don't talk to the other person.
01:38:41.000But some guys would be looking at the boxes, spinning it around, checking it out.
01:38:46.000And those boxes all had explicit scenes on them.
01:38:49.000So you would pick up the porn box and the box would be all these pictures of people fucking.
01:38:58.000You don't have anything like that today where someone can mistakenly walk through some beads and then pull a box out and go, oh Jesus, there's a dick in someone's mouth.
01:39:31.000Yeah, like the allegedly live sex shows, I saw one where like I go, hmm, it's funny how he could fuck this girl when he doesn't have a horn on.
01:39:42.000And there was, they used to have these machines you'd put a quarter in And it would show something, and nothing would be happening.
01:39:54.000And then all of a sudden, the girl would unbutton her blouse, and you'd go, oh, okay, here it goes.
01:41:31.000Instead of it being like a skillful conversation where he's like, first of all, appreciating the man, thanking him for his time, telling him what a great actor and comedic actor he's been all his career, and just asking him questions, express yourself about these things.
01:41:46.000Instead, he's asking him, like, why do you still do comedy?
01:42:08.000You know, I mean, you have a rare opportunity to talk to a guy that was at the early days of, like, films and show business.
01:42:16.000Yeah, he was around when all the top show business people, he never hung out with the actual Rat Pack, but he was friends with every member of the Rat Pack.
01:44:04.000And he opened up Sammy's hand, because I think when people pass out their hands closed, and he opened up his hand, put in a Star of David, and so for the rest of his coma, he was holding on to this.
01:44:20.000And when he opened it up, there was the Star of David, and he took it off, and there was an imprint on his hand.
01:47:43.000I remember Years ago when, like, you know, these cable stations were first starting, and they didn't have that much, you know, stuff to fill it up with.
01:50:04.000It's interesting that we've seen, just in our lifetime, a great change in what show business is.
01:50:11.000But if you just take it back to the generation before us, like the Sammy Javis Jr. generation or the Jerry Lewis, these people had nothing to go on.
01:52:32.000Michael Jackson had hit, like, another realm of that.
01:52:35.000I also heard, like, well, the Beatles, in an interview, said when they first came to America, the first person they wanted to meet was Elvis.
02:01:57.000But the idea back then of Saturday Night Live with different cast members, that just wasn't – now it's like the cast changes every five minutes.
02:03:37.000When I was auditioning, there were a few auditions, some at a comedy club, others in their office, and it would be like lots of people there.
02:03:49.000And I would hear, you know, other people who auditioned who would say, oh, they were so hateful of everybody else who was against them and their...
02:03:59.000And I remember, just out of weirdness, not courage, out of weirdness, I didn't take auditioning for Saturday Night Live as something important.
02:04:14.000And I would go there and do bits and everything.
02:04:18.000And when I was on it, I didn't feel like...
02:04:22.000Well, I mean, there was a reason I didn't feel like a star there, because everyone was torn to shreds in the press.
02:04:29.000And then when I got fired from it, I thought, okay.
02:04:36.000Oh, the way I got fired from Saturday Night Live, there used to be a table there that they would throw fan letters, one that was such thing as fan letters.
02:04:48.000Now it's, you know, who writes a fan letter anymore?
02:06:02.000Because the thing about Saturday Night Live that I keep hearing from former cast members is that it was like a dog-eat-dog world over there.
02:06:08.000And people would be backstabbing people and stealing their ideas for sketches.
02:07:24.000You know, I was in a couple of movies, if you could call what I do acting, but I was in a couple of movies.
02:07:31.000And, you know, like, one of those things that...
02:07:36.000Well, the first thing that actually made me a real celebrity and a celebrity that people liked...
02:07:48.000One time I was at Catch, and these people were there, and they said they're from MTV. Would I like to come in and audition for something?
02:07:58.000And I went on, nothing prepared, and I just started improvising stuff.
02:08:03.000And they were filming it and then didn't hear anything from them and didn't, you know, thought, oh, I didn't get this.
02:08:11.000And then people started recognizing me on the street and coming over to me.
02:08:16.000And I found out that the thing I, what they filmed in me auditioning with, they chopped up and was showing throughout the day on MTV. And that was the first time I was known and it was something good.
02:10:10.000And then my manager sent my tape from MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour, which is what led them to try to offer me this pilot, sent it out to a bunch of people and I wound up getting a development deal and then moving to California and doing...
02:10:25.000This show Hardball and then NewsRadio.
02:10:27.000But it all came out of MTV being cheap.
02:10:29.000Because if they had offered me a good...
02:13:09.000I don't know if there's any behind the scenes posturing and how it happened, but I remember Jimmy Kimmel berating him on his own show for taking the show from Conan O'Brien.
02:13:21.000And I remember thinking, what is this?
02:13:23.000Why is everybody standing up for Conan O'Brien here?
02:13:27.000If it didn't work out, it didn't work out.
02:13:44.000And Conan got The Tonight Show and that didn't work.
02:13:47.000I think that was part of what people were upset with, right?
02:13:49.000It was like The Tonight Show was on, but Jay Leno was on covering all this stuff that you would see in The Tonight Show right before The Tonight Show, and it probably took some of the wind out of the sails of The Tonight Show.
02:14:02.000I don't know, but like, yeah, Conan wasn't getting ratings in that hour.
02:14:06.000I think the reason why they moved Jay Leno was because he wasn't getting the younger viewers, right?
02:14:11.000Which is what they need for advertising dollars.
02:14:58.000The Johnny Carson effect, like, everybody wanted to be the next Carson, and everybody else that was doing these other shows on other networks, you were just pretenders.
02:16:08.000Somehow I got, like, on Leno, they, you know, it just seemed like every couple of weeks they would call me when something happened in the news.
02:16:18.000They'd fly me out there, and I'd be in one of those sketches at the beginning.
02:16:24.000So I was like, I was Osama Bin Laden's nephew.
02:18:33.000They always talked about how, like, it may have been your show of shows with Sid Caesar, that they used to talk about how at the reservoir you could see the water Because toilets were flushing at the same time all over the place because it's a commercial.
02:19:55.000And the world is just different in terms of options.
02:20:00.000It's different in terms of what they're willing to watch.
02:20:04.000Because the idea of a talk show with these short segments, where you just sit down and someone tells you about their new album, it's brilliant.
02:21:08.000It happens like one out of ten times, and it ruins it.
02:21:11.000Yeah, they're having a whole conversation and it's like, you're in the movie, someone will walk in the door and they'll go, oh look, he's walking in the door.
02:21:47.000When waiter service, yeah, they deliver it to you.
02:21:52.000Well, it's just like when TV came out, that's when movies started doing 3D. Because it's like, oh, see, you can't see this on TV. Right, right, right, right, yeah.
02:22:10.000Yeah, I think one of the last Jurassic Park movies was in 3D. I didn't see it in 3D. They had Jaws 3 in 3D. Oh, but for that one scene, that one stupid scene where the shark's coming towards you,
02:22:27.000it was only really applicable in one scene.
02:22:30.000Yeah, the 3D glasses are always the fucking weird part of that.
02:22:35.000Those fucking weird red and blue glasses you put on.
02:22:37.000Yeah, they give you a headache immediately.
02:22:43.000And what do they have to do to make a movie 3D? Oh, I think it's shot with two different cameras, and it's like one gets a little of it this way, one a little, and then they put them together.
02:22:58.000And with the glasses, it brings the pictures together and somehow creates a 3D effect.
02:23:05.000And the funny thing is, the first 3D movie was a movie called Bawana Devil.
02:26:10.000Yeah, it was like, yeah, you know, I grew up on these movies, all the kids grew up on these movies, taking a saw and running it across someone's head, hitting a hammer.
02:30:16.000He's a fucking piece of shit and he's dead.
02:30:17.000An investigation into sexual abuse allegations against TV personality revealed that at least 500 victims, some of whom were just two years old, Oh my god.
02:30:43.000A beloved DJ and BBC presenter, there was something about Saville's cigar-chomping, eccentric on-air personality that put audiences in the United Kingdom at ease.
02:30:53.000In the eyes of Saville's most staunch supporters and loyal followers, a knighthood was a fitting culmination to his career.
02:31:03.000So if you look at the guy, when you scroll down all the pictures of him with kids, just imagine that all these poor kids had no recourse and he was sexually abusing all of them.
02:31:13.000And I mean, it still goes on to this day.
02:31:16.000If he's making money for you, then you're a little more forgiving.
02:31:23.000Wow, I mean, that was always the Harvey Weinstein thing, right?
02:31:25.000He was making these massive blockbuster films, and the actresses just had to...
02:31:30.000The only way to get in these films was...
02:31:33.000Quinn Tarantino was telling me this about an old-time movie producer guy, that he had a bed in his office.
02:31:42.000So when the women would come in to audition, he would take the starlets to the bed and he would fuck them all.
02:32:21.000You hear these stories about famous actresses that they would come in, they'd offer to fuck them right away.
02:32:29.000Yeah, well that's how, there's a lot of them that did it that way.
02:32:33.000Well they realized early on, like if you're an actress or an actor and you're just auditioning all the time and you're not getting ahead and you're getting desperate and years are going by.
02:32:43.000And there's 20 billion beautiful girls auditioning with you.
02:32:50.000And the reality of acting is, certain acting, if you want to be like Meryl Streep or Faye Dunaway or Daniel Day-Lewis, that's a crazy, high-level acting that's insanely difficult and it takes real immense talent.
02:33:29.000And I remember there was like one, you know, really famous top-level producer who, there was one woman who worked in his organization, one of the high-level people, And it was just said.
02:33:47.000Very matter of fact, oh yeah, she fucked everybody to get there.
02:34:44.000Do you remember when a bunch of the famous ladies, like publicly famous, where they would always be at parties and stuff, were getting photographed with no underwear on, getting out of limousines?
02:36:25.000And everyone, when they say, oh, you know, you see her pussy in that scene, I thought, I remember it was showing on TV, and it was like, you know, cable, so I would go right up to the screen, I brush my nose against the screen,
02:37:51.000But if Scarlett Johansson decided to do a film where she has sex with her husband and films it and then puts it out online or whatever, people would immediately lose respect for her.
02:38:08.000And also, it adds to the thrill of, oh God, she was trying to hide this as well as she could, and somebody grabbed it, and now we can see it.
02:41:15.000That fucking business of just wanting to be chosen, of wanting to be the person who gets cast in this film, this project, and that's what you have to do to make your career.
02:41:32.000And then on top of that, you've got to be chosen, and then most of the time you're rejected, so you're rejected nine out of ten times if you're lucky.
02:41:41.000And you could see why, like, actors and actresses will fuck a producer and director.
02:42:47.000You know, girls leave their hometowns where they're like, you know, drop-dead gorgeous, and they show up in Hollywood where there's a trillion girls working in a laundromat.
02:43:24.000It used to be, like, strip clubs that were smelly and the girls were scuzzy-looking.
02:43:30.000I think if you're, like, a really hot woman and you want to make a lot of money and you don't want to have a regular job, they just go, look, I'll just do this for a little while.
02:44:03.000And I think when women, and they do this in movies too, and women do it, you know, hooting and hollering, and no, that's not in a real strip club.
02:44:15.000No one's hooting, and it's very, it's like what we were talking about before.
02:46:10.000And a bunch of other, like, prominent celebrities are waiting in line to go see this film, and they're going to sit down in a movie theater and watch this like they're watching any other kind of movie.
02:46:20.000And yeah, I remember there were a lot—then they'd make a bunch of porn, all hoping to be the next Deep Throat.
02:47:02.000It is weird how that changed, that there was a brief window, and I don't know how long that brief window was, where they would make an actual film with sex in there.
02:49:05.000I had a buddy of mine, and he was in a film, and he had a sex scene with a girl under the sheet, and she said, if you want, we can have real sex.
02:51:26.000Because I do work for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, I'm a color commentator for the UFC. I've seen probably, I don't know, a thousand people get the fuck beaten out of them.
02:51:38.000I've called more than a thousand fights, but I've seen a lot of horrible beatdowns.
02:51:43.000And you get oddly desensitized to physical violence.
02:51:56.000When actors who their careers were over with needed to be on TV to make a check and be seen at the same time, they were having those celebrity fights.
02:53:04.000It was because he was so much smaller than him, first of all.
02:53:06.000And then also, like, flailing wildly, like, really shouldn't have been there.
02:53:12.000And you'd see the fighters, they'd zoom in on them after the fight, where, like, one eye is the size of a baseball, and, like, blood's coming down their face.
02:53:24.000You have no interest in celebrity boxing matches, is that what you're saying?
02:54:59.000Being backstage about to go on is like being, you know, either at the beach or by a swimming pool and you're dipping your toe into the water and going, oh, that's horrible.
02:56:23.000They hate themselves, and then they get on stage, and they get just a little bit of life support just out of getting that laugh, and then they get off stage to hate themselves even more.
02:56:54.000Most of the bits I've come up with have all been like on stage.
02:57:00.000I start ad-libbing something and I do it.
02:57:03.000But this whole thing like, you know, where you hear Jerry Seinfeld talk and it's like, Oh, well, I wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning, and I type 5,000 pages, and then I try not at night.
02:57:21.000And yeah, no, I'm terrible as far as sitting down writing.
02:58:35.000uh throw some water on your face put on shaving cream and run the razor over that that's uh that there's no secret yeah you don't have to go to a barber shop and trust a guy with a straight edge near your neck too that's that's bizarre have you ever gone to a barber shop for a shave what the are you talking about how goddamn easy it is to shave and i i remember and they talk about the perfect one what's how much better is one from the other And one time I was at a radio
02:59:05.000show and some guys were there with girls plugging there.
02:59:12.000They had like a barber shop where you could get a shave from a girl.
02:59:18.000And, you know, the thought of it sounds great because you're thinking, oh, like a cute girl, like she's shaving me like I'm the king and everything.
02:59:30.000And so I thought, all right, I'll have one of them shave me.
02:59:34.000And it wasn't one of those big grandpa shaves.