Ron White is a professional cigar smoker, and he's a professional amateur cigar smoker. He's been smoking cigars for years, and now he wants to try a new kind of cigar: a Ron White Cigar Smoking Lesson by Ron White. And it's a good thing he doesn't smoke them like a normal person, because he's not only addicted to them, but he's smoking them so much that he thinks they're addictive. And he's right. And we're here to tell you why you should try them too. Joe Rogan is a comedian, podcaster, writer, and podcaster based in Los Angeles, California. He's also the host of the radio show and hosts a podcast called about everything else, including . but mostly, he's also a comedian. And he likes to smoke cigars. and he talks about cigars a lot. We talk about cigars, cigars, and cigars. And cigars and cigars and more cigars and other things that are not cigarettes. Enjoy this episode, and don't forget to check out the rest of the show on Apple Podcasts and wherever you get your stuff. It's a wild ride. If you like what you hear, share it on your socials! or tell a friend about it! and tell us what you think about it on Insta: if you think it's cool, we'll be sure to tell us about it in a story about it and tag us in the next time you listen to the pod! or tag us about your thoughts about it. We'll be listening to it in next week's episode of The Joe Rogans Experience! on Instafilter! :) Thanks for listening and we'll see you in the comments section! - Tom and Joe are listening to this episode of next week! Timestamps: 1: 2:20 - What's your favorite cigar? 3:00 - What do you think of it? 4:30 - Is it good or bad? 5:40 - How does it taste better than the other? 6:10 - How do you smoke it better than it's better than yours? 7:00 8:00: Is it more addictive? 9:00 Is it better? 11:00 Cigars better than your first time? 13:00 Can you smoke them better than mine?
00:00:29.000Yeah, because if you don't, if you just suck the flame into it, you'll burn it.
00:00:34.000You'll burn the inside of it instead of just toasting the outside of it, get most of that surface hot, and then just a little quick one to get it really going nice.
00:00:43.000And the whole cigar will taste better.
00:02:32.000I started smoking them on the golf course because if I have a $15 cigar and I put it down on the tee box and somebody steps on it, I'm mad at them all day long, even though it's totally my fault.
00:05:05.000You know, I'm from a little bitty town in northwest Texas, right?
00:05:07.000So we used to—oh, everybody hunts up there, so we would hunt— More birds than anything up there, but it was a miserable experience to me.
00:05:21.000You know, pheasant, duck, but you're just laying out in a field freezing cold with my father and I could do nothing right and it wasn't a particularly good shot.
00:05:34.000He had a 12-gauge with no pad on it that would just knock my 13-year-old shoulder out of socket and And so I never thought it was that great.
00:05:44.000And I really didn't enjoy any of the experiences that I had with him.
00:05:49.000He was also a golfer, but I rarely played with him because he was just kind of mean about it.
00:05:54.000Then he was also a natural athlete, lettered in every sport, and had a football scholarship to A&M to play right guard at 195 pounds.
00:06:43.000And so, as a kid, I used to have to go up there.
00:06:48.000You know, he was in the hospital for so long.
00:06:50.000And I would go spend my days up there, you know, just while my mother was, you know, sitting there waiting to see what was going to happen.
00:07:45.000I still have a fake drink on stage, and I don't know who I'm trying to kid, because sometimes I say I did, and then sometimes I act like I didn't, and I can't even decide.
00:10:59.000And I've proven it time and time again.
00:11:02.000And so now I just have a little bit clearer head, and it doesn't seem to bother me at all, you know, to go out on stage with just a fake drink.
00:11:15.000But, you know, for a while, you know, I started hitting comedy clubs and trying to get my chops back because it really did affect me being off so long, really a lot.
00:11:26.000I tell this story to people all the time, because it's a funny story.
00:11:29.000The night that we did it at Vulcan, the place that we're going to be at tonight, you had done stand-up in about eight months, and you had been talking about retiring.
00:12:33.000No, I went to the other one that you were going to buy, and I was dragging other people through that place, going, yeah, this is the place Joe Rogan bought this place.
00:13:31.000I'm like, yes, he's a great comedian and has been for decades.
00:13:36.000But, oh, I thought I just know him from Fear Factor and The Fights, and this guy listens to the podcast all the time, and he was bent out of shape about something.
00:17:06.000So I thought, well, I'll sign up for that, and I'll use that to get off liquor, because a lot of people do come away from there with a different perspective, right?
00:17:53.000And my assistant, Anthony, I worked for a guy that had a lot of problems and went to this guy and quit all of them.
00:18:02.000So I'm like, well, I could go over there and see how that works.
00:18:06.000So I went over there, and his office was in his garage.
00:18:11.000He was the least impressive human being I've ever met.
00:18:13.000And they had a brown wig that was on crooked, and I don't know if that was part of it, that you get focused on, dude, what's up with your wig?
00:18:22.000And that maybe got you offbeat a little bit.
00:18:25.000And then he had a tall glass of water with no ice in it, and he took these little tiny sips out of it.
00:18:32.000Now, I don't know if that was part of the setup or not.
00:18:35.000But the garage thing was like a velour recliner that had to have been 30 years old and it wasn't well kept or anything.
00:18:41.000So I sat in there and he just talked about...
00:18:45.000You know, kind of what was going on with my body and all this liquor that I was pouring into it and kind of like how your heart and your lungs and your kidney like to work together to keep you living.
00:18:53.000And I've had an all-out assault on all three of them for 50 years and, you know, whatever.
00:19:00.000And so we got through with the first session, and he would put me under, and I would go under, that's for sure, because he would have to snap me out of it.
00:19:07.000And I was just sitting there, conscious of everything he was saying.
00:19:10.000But in a whatever hypnotic state, for sure.
00:20:31.000$3,000 a night, and they recommended a minimum of 30 days, and that was on the street I lived on in Beverly Hills up at the top of it.
00:20:40.000And, um, so this is like, you could do this for like, if you shared a room with somebody for like, like 1800 bucks for a week.
00:20:48.000And mine was like five grand, but I had a nice room and it was, you know, really nice place.
00:20:53.000They cooked all your food and it was healthy, but it was really good.
00:20:58.000You know, it was, uh, no soda pop, no alcohol, no, you know, uh, a lot of shit I wouldn't advertise if I was trying to get people to go down there.
00:21:07.000And, uh, but, uh, You know, pineapple juice and coconut water.
00:21:27.00050 mattresses on the floor that have, you know, really nice sheets and pillows and blankets and they're on the floor.
00:21:34.000And it's very ceremonial in that, you know, there's a guy, a shaman that looks like a shaman, feathers and shit, and you stand in line with your little cup.
00:21:45.000He gives you a cup of this mud, awful tasting stuff.
00:23:21.000But I think I just struggled with it the first night.
00:23:27.000And I was getting really distorted images of people's faces when they got close to me.
00:23:32.000And I was tripping so hard that it was like my head was itching and I just couldn't figure it out, you know, how to make my head stop itching.
00:23:42.000And I thought about scratching it, but I wasn't exactly sure how to use my hands anymore.
00:23:47.000And somebody walked by and I asked them to scratch my head.
00:25:39.000So the next night, I went in, and he gave me...
00:25:43.000It was a different shaman every night, and he gave me about half a cup, and I said, the other person gave me a whole cup of this, and he said, yeah, the mother ayahuasca said to give you the night off and tone it down for you.
00:26:55.000And afterwards, I really felt a deep connection to the whole place.
00:27:03.000I felt like this was a journey that was designed for me because I just felt wonderful about myself, about decisions I was making, about the direction I was headed in my life and all this stuff.
00:27:18.000And then the The next night was a bigger dose, and I went back and got a bigger dose, and went back and got another dose, and just rode it out and fucking loved it.
00:30:20.000And I decided to go ahead and do what it took to get my chops back and go perform and say goodbye in a proper way, you know, and not just, you know, go out on COVID. And I'm glad I did.
00:30:38.000So we're going to, you know, do as much.
00:30:41.000I'm only doing two days a week next year as opposed to three.
00:31:01.000I didn't like the last Netflix deal for me, and I know they're great for some people, but for me, they were pretty tight and very demanding, and they wanted the rights to the material forever, and a cut of the album.
00:31:14.000If I sold an album, they got a piece of that, and So I don't know.
00:31:19.000I went ahead and did it, but then I regretted it.
00:31:23.000But I don't know what it did for my exposure worldwide, but I'll never find out because I'm probably not going to go to Australia next year, and I'm probably not going to go back to London next year.
00:32:52.000This is an interesting time where people try to get material pulled and they don't like it.
00:32:57.000They don't like what you're making fun of or joking and they feel like they should have the right to edit it or tell you to stop saying it or tell the company to stop saying it.
00:33:05.000Well, I think it's really cool the way Spotify sticks by you, you know, to let you continue to be Joe Rogan.
00:33:24.000That's a good decision no matter how it turns out.
00:33:27.000That helped, for sure, but it was also a great decision that, you know, I think YouTube has a very difficult position in the world.
00:33:38.000They're managing this platform where millions and millions and millions of people are uploading things every day, and they have to manage this at scale.
00:33:47.000They have to manage millions of millions of hours of content every day.
00:33:52.000And it's insanely hard to do and they've chosen to do it in a way where if anything goes against a narrative that they support, they censor it.
00:34:16.000It's controversial because I will occasionally have someone on that will say things that I don't agree with, but I want to hear their perspective and the way they say it and why they think the way they think.
00:34:26.000And maybe I'll argue with them about it, but sometimes those things, those subjects can be deemed hostile or that someone will be offended by it, so it shouldn't be up on their platform.
00:34:44.000They're from Stockholm and their perspective is very different.
00:34:48.000It's kind of ironic but they're very much in support of our First Amendment rights and they think that you should be able to Artistically speak your mind.
00:34:58.000And, you know, I'm not doing anything hateful.
00:35:02.000But when you talk about certain subjects, some people think that it's dangerous or it's, you know, that there's something wrong with just even discussing certain things.
00:36:11.000The narrative is the special is transphobic.
00:36:13.000If there were specific things that he said that people had a problem with, they would have repeated those things.
00:36:17.000But it's just he was telling a story about a friendship that he had with a trans woman, a person he loved, and he told this whole special.
00:36:25.000There's a good friend of his that he would take, I mean, he even had her open for his shows, and she wound up committing suicide.
00:36:32.000It's a very touching story, but they had deemed that transphobic just because he's talking about trans people, and they've decided that even talking about it is transphobic.
00:36:41.000But the problem with that is all of comedy Then hateful because all of comedy is talking about subject making fun of everything from your own parents to your Relationships to your children.
00:36:55.000It means like People have this unique ability today to give their opinions about things and they have power You know, they can organize groups of people that want to boycott stuff And it's exciting.
00:37:25.000Nobody to this day has given me an adequate explanation about why these things were there, but at some of these protest sites, there was pallets of bricks and rocks and shit, and people used them.
00:37:50.000But at the end of the day, my point is, if you leave a bag of rocks around and there's a bunch of windows, there's gonna be people that wanna throw those rocks.
00:37:58.000If you give people the ability to shut things down or silence things, they will exaggerate what you're saying, they will distort your perspectives, they will change what you're actually trying to say, just so that they can justify what they want to do.
00:38:11.000Yeah, I watched it happen to Tony, and it was brutal.
00:38:18.000But I guess that if your fan base doesn't cancel you, you can't get canceled.
00:39:19.000And, you know, this ability to cancel people, one thing it does make people, it makes people more aware of the impact of what they're saying.
00:39:27.000It makes you, you know, you want to be able to justify what you're saying.
00:39:31.000You know, instead of just being, like, just going for the laugh as quickly as possible, look at it in a way like, okay, is this the right way to say this?
00:39:40.000Is there a better way to say this where it doesn't hurt people's feelings?
00:39:44.000Is there a way to say this where it makes sense rather than just throw it out there because it'll get a laugh?
00:39:51.000Did we talk on the last podcast about that girl that accused me of molesting her and sued me for...
00:40:22.000While lights are on and people are, you know, that I reached under your dress and found out you weren't wearing panties and decided to touch your...
00:41:07.000Kind of knew Scott Baio, and I played golf with him once, and he got accused, that 17-year-old girl or whatever said that he had sex with her, and it was big news, and he got canceled, and everybody was, Scott Baio's a bad guy.
00:42:06.000And we can put it on the front page of every newspaper that'll put it on the front page of their paper and destroy your credibility and your image.
00:42:15.000And then later we would just have to go, sorry.
00:42:18.000And so it didn't make sense to go through all that.
00:42:23.000But it seems like it should be illegal.
00:42:25.000We can make these claims that are not true.
00:42:51.000And so they can just print that accusation, and all of a sudden, to people that are just casually reading, which is most people, Most people just barely read the headlines and then maybe read like a paragraph in and then they bail on the article.
00:44:13.000And so it's just so big, it's hard to get your arms around, the power of it, you know?
00:44:19.000And so it's a weird thing to be able to do, and I'm really lucky to be able to come on your show, and I do this because...
00:44:29.000Because we're friends, and we're kindred spirits in stand-up comedy, and we hang out at comedy clubs, and we like all the same shit, you know?
00:44:38.000But it's like the people that knew Letterman when he was doing stand-up.
00:44:41.000Those were the people that were on his show, you know, where his buddies did a lot of them, you know?
00:44:46.000And it was because you just happened to be friends with this guy and he got real fucking famous and all of a sudden you hook your wagon to it and all of a sudden you're on Jake Johansson did Letterman's show 45 times or something like that.
00:45:00.000They were really good friends and he's a great comic.
00:45:03.000But oddly enough Still can't go into theaters and sell tickets, and I don't get that.
00:45:09.000I don't understand why somebody like Joe Hanson, as good as he is with the exposure that he's had from that, but now if you do Fallon, you do a tenth of what Of what I'll do with you today.
00:45:24.000You know, there's like seven, eight hundred thousand people or something.
00:48:20.000So we're staying in this five-star cabin resort, right?
00:48:24.000And we just got there, didn't have reservations, so we got the littlest, furthest away little cabin, but on the But right on this gorgeous river that it's on, just rocks in the stream.
00:48:38.000And you can take these Adirondack chairs and you can go put them out in the river and just sit in the river, you know, because it's shallow.
00:52:03.000That had me smiling every day, and I was having a blast with it.
00:52:07.000And then it got to where I was doing 140 cities a year, and that's moving.
00:52:14.000You know, that's four and five cities a week with hardly any weeks off.
00:52:18.000And I did it because I didn't think it would last.
00:52:21.000I thought, this is going to be a brief period of time where I'm making a lot of money and I'm just going to go make the money and work as hard as I can.
00:52:39.000I was lucky in that I had the exposure to get me there.
00:52:42.000And then I tapped into this huge baby boomer audience that was the same age as me and aging at the same rate I was aging.
00:52:51.000And they were interested in what I had to say.
00:52:53.000And they liked the way I did stand-up.
00:52:55.000And because I did so much of it, I was really good at it.
00:52:58.000And, you know, even when I was doing big shows, I was coming out to the store just like you, you know, every night when I was off doing sets.
00:55:10.000And I think what I love is just hearing their love for me, you know, that they really do care.
00:55:16.000And when I talk about retirement in front of them, they'll start booing because they would rather see me just die of a heart attack right there on the stage and have the story to tell.
00:55:26.000I'm like, well, you still got a chance because I'm going to do it for another year.
00:55:29.000So there's a chance I won't make it through that.
00:56:47.000I think he was doing shows in Vegas and died in his hotel.
00:56:50.000And he was older, and he had a bunch of problems with pills and several stints in rehab for that, and those are very hard on you, very hard on your body.
00:57:03.000It's a thing like every other occupation...
00:57:30.000Me and Tony have talked about this before.
00:57:32.000Can you imagine going through your whole life and never have been killed on stage?
00:57:36.000That feeling that you get when you hit a big punchline and the audience is just roaring.
00:57:44.000You got hundreds or thousands, how many people are there, people just feeling so good, having so much fun, slapping their knee and slapping the table and laughing so hard and just having a great fucking time.
00:58:15.000It is a full-time job, and you can lose your chops at this.
00:58:19.000And so I think that, I don't know if it was Seinfeld that I heard say it or somebody, maybe it was Chris Rock, but that you should be on stage every day.
00:59:22.000Well, it can be done, but man, you've got to really understand what it is.
00:59:27.000And I think something happens to people when they become famous where you just think that you've already got it and that you don't have to work hard at it.
00:59:35.000You know, you think, like, I'll just go and do a set.
00:59:39.000And that's one of the things the store will show you.
00:59:42.000Because the store, you know, you would be going on after Joey Diaz, or you'd be going on after Anthony Jeselnik, or, you know, there's a million murderers in that place.
00:59:53.000And we would be going up all together on these shows and seeing each other's new stuff and, you know, talking about our new stuff and complimenting each other and having fun together.
01:00:03.000And then you would take that kind of energy and then go on the road with it.
01:00:06.000And you had the momentum of the store and the camaraderie that the store brought.
01:01:39.000And there would be two big SUVs of people that got there before him, and then they'd set up rails, and so you couldn't touch him, and he would come in.
01:01:52.000Go out there by yourself, and hang out with your friends, and say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, and you don't have to worry about somewhere they're sitting, or Cokes.
01:02:00.000And somebody asked me for tickets to you and Chappelle's show, and I said, no, I'm not going to do it.
01:02:06.000I'm not going to pester those guys for tickets.
01:02:46.000When you're performing in front of this fucking gigantic, huge arena filled with people, but the comedy club life is stand-up at its purest.
01:02:57.000You know, you're there fucking around, having a good time, and everybody enjoys it, and you're working on this weird art form.
01:03:04.000It's a weird art form of talking shit.
01:03:07.000I remember we were in the back, and we were in the bar, the Secret Comedians bar, and you and I were sitting there, and you were telling me this fucking story about the time when you were in Hawaii, and I'm laughing so fucking hard.
01:04:34.000I always have this thing that I do, like right now, I'm thinking about filming a special, and I'm probably going to film a special sometime in the spring.
01:04:41.000I'm trying to figure out where to do it, and then when it's over, even right now, I'm in a panic, because not that I don't have the material to do it, I do have the material to do it, but then once it's done, I'll have no material.
01:04:53.000Then I have to throw it all out and start from scratch, and that's the panic phase.
01:04:56.000Ooh, that is a horrible feeling, right?
01:05:00.000And, you know, I used to, I would wait until I had a show, you know, and then I would always, you guys, a lot of, a lot of guys spit out a special a year, and I just, I can't do it.
01:05:16.000I got to let that stuff sit on the vine because it ripens on the vine.
01:05:21.000I think two years is the right thing for me.
01:05:24.000It's either two or it might even be three.
01:05:26.000It's become three because of COVID. It's actually going to be four because we lost a good solid year and it's going to be 2022 soon.
01:05:35.000And I was going to do one in 2021 or in 2020. My last one was 2018. Yeah, I think mine was too.
01:05:40.000The COVID thing rolled around literally like a few months before I was thinking about filming, but now I look at that material and I'm like, it's better now than it was.
01:07:07.000And then sometimes your friends will watch it, and then they'll give you a tag, you know, or whatever, and it works out.
01:07:12.000That's also one of the great things about having friends that are really good comics, and sometimes they'll see something in a joke that you don't see.
01:07:22.000There's also those moments when you do a show, like if you do a weekend at a club, and you do a show, and you do like two shows on Friday, and then on the first show on Saturday, you have a different way of doing it, and then it becomes a whole new bit.
01:10:09.000It is a weird brain, because I remember one time I came in to do your show, and you had already done one podcast that day, and I'm like, what are you doing now?
01:10:17.000He goes, well, I'm going to go do my abs.
01:10:19.000And I got five sets tonight or something.
01:12:58.000I have to order five pounds, or my assistant can't get it.
01:13:03.000They won't sell you just a plate of ribs to go.
01:13:05.000You've got to go stand in that line, unless you're happy to be eating there, and then you'll call me and go, Hey, Ron, I'm coming down here.
01:14:51.000I got friends coming in, and my crew's coming in.
01:14:54.000We're going to take the bus up from here, so I'm having Terry Black's.
01:14:58.000I ordered five pounds of it, so I got a bunch of brisket and ribs and that beef rib that you can't even pick up the bone with the rib steak.
01:22:24.000It's a thing that's probably one of the most profoundly impactful things that people do, is getting drunk.
01:22:30.000Like you drive cars, you smash into cars, you kill yourself, you drink yourself into a disease, you say horrible things that you shouldn't have said.
01:22:48.000And it's when you're a kid, when you're 21, and you can drink legally, the difference between not drinking or very rarely drinking and drinking all the time with your buddies is so profound on the way your brain works, so profound on the way you're productive,
01:23:05.000like the shit you can get done versus the shit you can get done if you were sober.
01:24:54.000High rollers Brazilian jiu-jitsu or high rollers jiu-jitsu?
01:24:57.000This dude, Matt, who puts it together, he came up with this concept of having people get stoned and roll and film, and they show them smoking weed, and it's like...
01:25:07.000They're very friendly with each other.
01:26:19.000260 pounds running and colliding with another dude who's 260 pounds.
01:26:24.000They're going full clip and they're super athletes.
01:26:27.000They're the freakiest specimens that we have.
01:26:29.000If you look at an elite football player or an elite mixed martial artist, anyone who's at this crazy combat sport level, when you see the highest of the high, those are freak athletes, man.
01:26:42.000And in football, they're literally running at each other full blast.
01:30:04.000I didn't know he was there doing this.
01:30:06.000Do you know he used to work for a police organization, one of the police organizations, and I forget which one, and he would troll pedophiles online.
01:30:18.000He would try to bait pedophiles online.
01:31:19.000He's a trained reserve officer with Bedford County Sheriff's Office in Virginia, working on a task force aimed at busting internet pedophiles.
01:31:26.000And so he was doing that while he was Shaq.
01:36:09.000Like, that move isn't even legal in the UFC. I don't think you're allowed to spike people in the UFC. But this is the end of the fight.
01:36:17.000The end of the fight, I mean, the fight kept going because Minotauro at the time was the toughest man on earth and is one of the toughest guys that's ever lived.
01:36:26.000Like this guy that's on the bottom is known for being unbelievably tough, but also like a wizard off of his back, which is a really rare thing for heavyweights.
01:36:37.000So he was triangling people and armbarring people.
01:36:40.000You can only do it at an elite level, as good as Nogueira was in these Pride days.
01:36:45.000You can only do it like this for so long, because the body just takes so much of a toll.
01:36:49.000But he was absolutely one of the greatest of all time.
01:41:40.000And this guy is talking about the soccer player and about how, even maybe just for a little while, that one moment, what that guy did was so amazing and so impressive and when he scored, it elevated everybody.
01:41:55.000I thought about it differently from then on.
01:41:58.000But it's true in anything, you know, that at the top level, It takes so much, even in golf, that it doesn't matter how bad you want to do what that guy does, you can't do it for any reason,
01:42:17.000no matter what you put into it, because you don't have the desire, I guess.
01:45:56.000But if you're a wrestler or if you're a person who does any kind of martial arts or something, some sort of solitary pursuit where you have to push yourself, it's an amazing movie.
01:46:59.000It's like a bow hunt or really more like a slingshot because the movement in that club head and the inertia and the rotation and all those things have to be perfect and it's hard to do.
01:47:12.000And it doesn't matter really how strong you are or whatever.
01:47:20.000A weight on a string, you know, except for you got a stiff shaft, but it's got to be that same motion that keeps that item away from your hand when it's on a string.
01:47:29.000So, and then to learn how to aim it and then learn how to, you know, it's just, it's really like hunting a lot in that it's something that you fire and then you aim at and see if you, only it's really fucking hard.
01:47:47.000I mean, I did it when I was a kid, but I was one of those comics that killed the day playing golf while comics like you were out making a billion dollars of plans to rule the world.
01:47:57.000When I was in Boston, I noticed that a lot of the guys that got really into golf, their ambition for comedy suffered.
01:48:05.000Because they just really wanted to play golf.
01:50:28.000And you are engaging your mind, right?
01:50:30.000Because you're trying to figure out how to do it right, and you're trying to time your body and move it.
01:50:35.000It's very engaging, and you're trying to solve problems.
01:50:42.000And every time you do something, you haven't done it exactly before, because it's always now there's a tree over there, but it's 156, the wind's coming from here, you got a little ball, you want to hit it that way, the green's up, elevated, so you're shooting uphill, you know, it's a lot of information to process.
01:50:58.000And then you make a decision on which one of these things it takes to do that, and you get it out and give it a try, you know, and then go find it and do it again.
01:51:06.000It's very clear that it's a hugely addictive game.
01:59:08.000It's just weird that if there's certain animals, like, again, like alligators, that if they were from somewhere else and someone brought them here, we'd want to kill them all.
01:59:17.000But because they're here already, we're like, oh, let them eat babies.
02:02:10.000But the idea of vampires comes up as like a thing that is to people like we are to other animals.
02:02:17.000Like when we see, you know, when we're hunting, you see a deer, like people move slow and you figure out a way to outsmart it and you're way smarter than it and you get it.
02:05:28.000It does cut down a little bit on your consumption of television because it takes time to get ready and go to the show and hang out and figure out where the next town is.
02:05:41.000We drive at night, so my bus will pull up.
02:05:45.000Wednesday night, and my crew will crawl on it, and my dog and Jeannie, and we'll head up to Arkansas, then over to Houston, and then back down to Austin.
02:06:00.000And I've lived that life for so long, it doesn't even seem weird.
02:06:05.000So, do you watch films on the bus ever?
02:06:47.000You've got two balls on a rope and then a thing that looks like a ladder and you throw it and it loops around and you get different points.
02:13:21.000That's a little extreme, but the sauna is 100% good for you.
02:13:25.000It builds your body's ability to work with inflammation better.
02:13:30.000It produces something called heat shock proteins.
02:13:33.000They did this study out of Finland that we've quoted a hundred times.
02:13:36.000I'm sorry, I have to quote it again if you've heard this before.
02:13:38.000But they did a study where they studied a whole group of people with regular sauna users versus non-sauna users.
02:13:45.000And the people that used the sauna, an average of four times a week over a period of, I think, like 20 years, they had a 40% decrease of all-cause mortality, 40% decrease of heart attacks, stroke, cancer, you name it.
02:14:00.000Everything was way less because of the sauna use.
02:15:20.000He's one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.
02:15:22.000And he was raving about the sauna and how when he was an Olympic wrestler he won the gold medal.
02:15:28.000In the 1970s, I forget what year, but he was one of the only guys to ever wrestle in the Olympics that had zero points scored on him and won the gold medal.
02:15:36.000I mean, he was just a fucking monster, just an animal.
02:15:39.000And one of the things that he found out was that the Russians, the Belarusians, and all these Eastern Bloc countries, they all use the sauna.
02:15:48.000A lot of these European athletes, they all use the sauna.
02:15:51.000All these countries that they realized that after training they would get in the sauna and the sauna was very difficult because you're already tired.
02:18:08.000Well, yeah, it connects to the iPad, but yeah, for the game part of it, you have to connect to a computer.
02:18:13.000Right, but he's doing this thing where he's measuring how fast his ball's going.
02:18:19.000Yeah, you don't even need a ball for that.
02:18:21.000If you just swing a club through it, it'll measure every single angle of that and how fast it's going and tell you exactly what would have happened if there would have been a ball there.
02:18:29.000And it's a great, great way to try, but I don't do it.
02:18:33.000But this thing that he does, I was watching and I was like, this is genius, because this is something that allows you to drive, to do that sweeping motion over and over and over again, and you can perfect it without having to chase down a bunch of balls.
02:18:49.000Yeah, that's exactly how people learn these days.
02:18:52.000They invented this thing, I think it's called the brake rack.
02:18:55.000And I had one at one point in time, but I don't know what the fuck I did with it.
02:18:58.000But it's essentially a thing that kind of does that for pool.
02:19:02.000Because the break shot is like one of the most important shots.
02:19:05.000And so you can either practice it, and if you practice it, you gotta rack again and gather all the balls and rack again, gather all the balls and rack again.
02:19:13.000But this thing is just one ball that's like solid and kind of connected to the table so it allows you to practice just the idea of squaring up on that one ball and hitting it just as square as possible right down the middle which is a lot in a lot of ways like golf it's this coordination of your movement your stance and everything Yeah,
02:19:34.000so pool doesn't look that hard when somebody's really good at it, does it?
02:21:06.000I saw, I read a really, really great article about What it takes to make somebody want to get better at their job.
02:21:21.000So they would change the environment, change the pay, just to see what would get them to produce more in what circumstances with this boss, this boss, you know, paint it blue, whatever.
02:21:35.000But in their spare time for no money, people will teach themselves how to do impossible things for nothing.
02:21:41.000Whether it's guitar and trying to get really, really good at that and doesn't pay a dime or jujitsu, which most people will not make much money at.
02:21:54.000I know Bourdain did it every day of his life, and it makes sense to me.
02:22:01.000You know, but I don't want to do it, but it makes sense to me that I can see what would be fun about it.
02:22:06.000And so, yeah, it keeps you alive, you know.
02:22:08.000It's also one of those things that could, if you have a career, it could consume your focus to the point where it becomes a detriment to your career.
02:22:16.000Because you're so interested in doing it, you don't really care.
02:22:19.000But then the argument is, well, should you?
02:22:21.000You should probably do what you want to do.
02:22:47.000Well, you know, they think that I should have been a, you know, maybe I want, they think I wanted to be a television star or a movie star or whatever.
02:24:14.000I mean, I don't remember how many seats it was, but it was a big fucking place, and I think when you would sell it out two shows, I think it was close to 5,000.
02:24:21.000I couldn't imagine that that was possible, and that you would sell two shows like that in a row, and you would do that every fucking night of the week.
02:25:15.000I did the 15 years of clubs and got...
02:25:18.000Good at it, and then, you know, the worst thing that can happen is somebody get famous before they spend that 15 years getting good at it, because they're fucked.
02:26:20.000It was blue-collar, and I often wonder, you know, what would have happened to my career without Jeff's generosity to share a stage, you know, with his friends, because that's what did it.
02:26:38.000You know, the most, you know, prolific comic alive, you know, for sure, you know, putting out albums that were selling through the roof and, you know, doing it.
02:28:26.000Whatever fame they get, burning the only act they've got, you know, and then they've got to start over again, and that act you don't have 16 years to write.
02:28:33.000No, that was a real problem with a lot of comics once those HBO specials started coming out.
02:28:38.000You know, I remember that was an issue with Kinnison, because Kinnison was going on the road, and it was after his HBO special, and he had the same material, and people knew the material.
02:30:54.000I found out the day I did it that LeBove was going into rehab, and they called the improv and said, who do you have that can open this show?
02:31:36.000So apparently LeBeau really struggled some nights with them screaming and stuff and getting too anxious to get to Sam.
02:31:44.000So I went out and I blistered this crowd with 10 minutes and Sam still wasn't there and Bill was over there stretching for me to go longer.
02:33:00.000Yeah, yeah, I did a rail with Sam, and then he faked a heart attack and fell on the floor and started turning, I don't know how he could make himself turn blue, but he was doing it, and nobody fell for it but me,
02:33:16.000because I guess they'd seen him or whatever, and there's 2,000 people.
02:33:21.000He's doing this show, you know, trying to freak me out about him having a heart attack after doing this big bump of blow, so...
02:33:28.000After the whole thing was over, there were people there from the Punchline, people there from the Laugh Stop, people there from the Funny Bone that I already kind of worked for a little bit in town.
02:33:39.000And they were like, let's go to dinner.
02:33:41.000We want to talk about putting you on the road.
02:34:23.000And then I opened for him later in a comedy club, and it was not too much before he died, and it was not that kind of experience at all.
02:34:30.000And he hadn't done stand-up in a while, and he was about to do a big show, and he came into Omaha, I think it was, and I was the headliner, so I opened for him.
02:34:43.000I did an hour and 10 minutes, and then he showed up.
02:34:46.000And he came on stage and he really looked bad and he had on a black shirt and it looked like he'd like wrestled with a cookie or something and had sunglasses on and went up there and staggered around for a while.
02:36:40.000He taught us that people can find you genuinely disgusting and you can still make them laugh as hard as they can laugh.
02:36:47.000And not pretend Don Rickles stuff, but really be truly darkly edgy, funny, and a lot of people did that afterwards, but I feel like that was something that he built and that people walked across.
02:38:12.000He's one of the greatest of all time David tells like a genuine national treasure There's just not you know, he's got his own style of talking his own rhythm Yeah, and you get caught up and it's a it's a beautiful ride There's um,
02:38:29.000you know, there's those guys and but Kinison was one of the first ever for me Because I couldn't believe that that was comedy too.
02:38:36.000Like I thought comedy was like Seinfeld and I loved it I loved Richard Jenny I loved all these people then I saw Kinison I was like Oh!
02:39:43.000So she gets down and she does Kinison's bit, which is one of his classic bits, about homosexual necrophiliacs who pay money to use the freshest male corpses.
02:39:54.000And so she's lying on her stomach in the parking lot.
02:39:57.000And she goes, and she goes, and then he's like, oh my god, is that a dick in my ass?
02:40:02.000You mean life keeps fucking you in the ass even after you're dead?
02:41:43.000He hasn't tried to do it, but here's what he did do.
02:41:46.000He had a speech at some award show, and he did a speech on the podium, and he talked about them taking Bill Cosby's honorary degree away from him, taking awards away from him.
02:42:45.000You know if there's a goat goat, he's the no doubt about it.
02:42:48.000It's hard to say like there are there's a lot of greats, you know, right?
02:42:52.000Cosby's certainly one of them too Cosby's one of them as gross as it sounds that he's a rapist his art if you could separate the man from the art he was a Masterful stand-up comedian and then in a bridge everybody walked across I mean everybody that's ever done his comedy special watch Bill Cosby himself and Yeah,
02:43:10.000so look at this, because this is fucking funny shit.
02:43:14.000So I was like, listen to how good his timing is.
02:45:26.000Even that little spot of misdirection went right before he said Bill, like he forgot for a second, which makes the whole thing look improvised, which is genius.
02:46:18.000A lot of people, like the pressure of creating, the pressure of live performances, People, after a while, they don't want to deal with that shit anymore.
02:48:34.000Yeah, you know, Martin quit because he figured out that he was really a parody of a comic and knew it and invented it and built that bridge and then didn't think it could be reinvented again, that he couldn't keep going down that same path and Yeah,
02:48:50.000well, you get to be a different person as you get older, too, right?
02:49:18.000It's people getting used to being in sports or whatever, having that live reaction to what you're doing and the love and all that energy that you feel that's transferred to you by those people that adore you when you're on stage.
02:50:27.000At the Mirage, but I'm their top comic.
02:50:32.000I mean, a lot of people, if they wanted to do more, you could own the place if you wanted to, but they still work me more because my fan base is big, just people don't know who I am if they're not part of it, you know, I guess.
02:53:47.000That's not a good thing to be on television.
02:53:50.000You're exploiting those people in a way.
02:53:54.000It's the worst way to try to experience a tragic moment of your life, to do it in front of the whole world in a reality show where they edit it for sensationalism.
02:54:27.000As opposed to how I did in stand-up, I just picked stand-up because at that point, if you're a club act and you've got a shot at TV, that's one thing.
02:54:40.000But if you've got an established theater career, it's like you've got to drop a brass ring to get a brass ring when you've already got a brass ring.
02:54:49.000It's like, fuck, I think I'm just going to hold on to this and let you guys fight that out.
02:54:53.000There's this thing that happens when you start working in television again when you haven't for a while.
02:54:57.000You realize, like, oh, there's so many people involved in these decisions.
02:55:00.000And then some of them, I don't agree with what their sensibilities are.
02:55:04.000We're in this weird quagmire here where I thought they were just going to let me be me and they're not.
02:56:27.000Why would you hire me if you want a non-smoker?
02:56:29.000The only way I would see that that would make any sense is if they had some sort of union regulation that applied to the theater that they were filming in, and they couldn't do anything about it.
02:57:00.000If someone can actually say, hey, you, one of the funniest guys alive, whatever you do, I'm going to change some of that because I have an arbitrary rule, even though I have ventilation in this place and even though it's a cigar.
02:57:12.000I have an arbitrary rule where I'm going to decide that you can't do that.
02:57:36.000But in Canada, they were like, well, no, they actually hold all your money, and then they decide how much of it they're going to keep because you smoked at Massey Hall.
02:58:08.000Can you still say long haul because of COVID? You're allowed to say long haul and not have people think of long haul COVID? I think you can.