The Joe Rogan Experience - January 11, 2022


Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 58 minutes

Words per Minute

166.5577

Word Count

29,725

Sentence Count

3,032

Misogynist Sentences

64

Hate Speech Sentences

66


Summary

In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, I sit down with comedian and podcast co-host, JOE ROGAN, to talk about how he got his start in comedy, how he became one of the funniest people in the world, and how he built a business empire that includes a podcast, a radio show, a TV show, and a brand new venture, COVID, which is a new kind of viral drug that's been around since the early 2000s. We talk about the origins of this drug, how it got its name, and what it's like being a comedian in a world where you can get paid for your knowledge and experience in order to spread it. I hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do, please tweet me and tell a friend about it! Timestamps: 3:00 - How did JOE get started in comedy? 4:30 - How he became a comedian How he got into podcasting What does it take to run a business Why he doesn t drink coffee Where did he get his start If you don t have a job, what are you looking for? What s your biggest pet peeve Do you have a weakness? How do you deal with anxiety Should you go on a meth bender I ll tell me what you do to deal with it Would you be better off without a job All of these things Can you take a couple of days off? Have you ever taken a couple days off from work ? Is there anything else you d like to do better than you'd be better than that? I ditching your day off? What would you do without a good day And what do you need to do more than that would you like to be more of a day off from the rest of the day? Thank you for listening to this episode or do you have an existential angst? Thanks for listening Check it out Listen to it out? - What do you think of it? Cheers, Joe Rogans Experience? Tweet me! Subscribe to my Insta: . Insta : , & Subscribe Tweet Me! & I ll be back next week Thanks, bye, Joe :)


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:05.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:12.000 Hello, Joe.
00:00:13.000 Hello.
00:00:13.000 Good to see you again, my friend.
00:00:15.000 I am thrilled to be here.
00:00:17.000 And now we know that you had COVID. I had COVID. And you shook it off like it was nothing.
00:00:21.000 I shook it off.
00:00:22.000 I mean, I didn't need those monoclonal...
00:00:24.000 I mean, you're a weak person, Joe.
00:00:26.000 And compared to you.
00:00:27.000 If you were like me, you wouldn't need that stuff.
00:00:30.000 I wouldn't need anything.
00:00:31.000 I was out there.
00:00:32.000 You didn't even know you had it.
00:00:33.000 I had it.
00:00:34.000 I was out there spreading it.
00:00:37.000 Unaware that I'm spreading it.
00:00:39.000 I feel so bad.
00:00:40.000 I was wearing a mask.
00:00:42.000 Most people...
00:00:42.000 I don't think that works.
00:00:44.000 Most people did that.
00:00:46.000 Most people were out there spreading it.
00:00:47.000 I mean, what did they say?
00:00:49.000 The people that don't show any symptoms, the asymptomatic folks, they were in the high 40%.
00:00:55.000 Wow.
00:00:57.000 That's a lot of people.
00:00:58.000 It's crazy.
00:00:59.000 Yeah.
00:01:00.000 But this is not like even PCR tests, right?
00:01:03.000 Because one of the things that as of December 31st, I believe it was the CDC put this regulation in place, they stopped using the standard PCR test for COVID because there's too many false positives.
00:01:15.000 People with influenza, other coronaviruses, common colds were testing positive for COVID-19.
00:01:23.000 I have so many questions.
00:01:25.000 I know it's the Joe Rogan experience, but this is going to be me interviewing you.
00:01:29.000 Do you feel a certain responsibility to...
00:01:34.000 Because just even chatting before, the...
00:01:38.000 The breadth of knowledge that you have on this, I mean, and it's shifting constantly, right?
00:01:44.000 So, like, Omicron is...
00:01:46.000 Like, for me, Omicron was kind of like a Dateline episode.
00:01:50.000 They're like, here's what we know, but now we'll go to a commercial break.
00:01:54.000 And, like, they just kept...
00:01:55.000 We still don't know, but, like, you seem to know, and you obviously interview a lot of brilliant people like me, that will give you some of this information, but, like...
00:02:06.000 Look, when I met you, you were, this was before news radio, and you had stand-up where you were, like, imitating tigers fucking.
00:02:16.000 How do you go from that to, like, you know, like, particularly on COVID? Because the information's changing.
00:02:24.000 How can you stay updated?
00:02:25.000 I don't know.
00:02:28.000 It's a strange path, right?
00:02:31.000 Well, it's not a path that I took on purpose.
00:02:33.000 That's what's weird about it.
00:02:35.000 Well, you've always had a curious mind.
00:02:37.000 All comedians do.
00:02:38.000 Yeah, I think so, for the most part.
00:02:40.000 But not just with COVID, with pretty much every discussion that I have with people about something that's fascinating to me.
00:02:49.000 I just have a very unusual memory.
00:02:51.000 And also, I have this...
00:02:55.000 I have this unique opportunity to pick people's brains and have these conversations with people where I can ask them these questions.
00:03:03.000 And it's invaluable.
00:03:03.000 Right.
00:03:05.000 Here's my other main question that I've been dying to know.
00:03:08.000 How do you – because in the entertainment industry or creative people, we all know that there's the drive, there's But the downfall is ego.
00:03:24.000 How have you navigated this empire where you now own three-fourths of Texas?
00:03:31.000 And how have you managed To not succumb to some Shakespearean story of where hubris...
00:03:43.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:03:43.000 How have you not self-destructed?
00:03:45.000 Where you're like, you know what?
00:03:46.000 I go on my meth bender.
00:03:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:03:50.000 You don't do any of that.
00:03:51.000 No.
00:03:52.000 I exercise really hard.
00:03:55.000 That's the big...
00:03:56.000 It sounds like bullshit, but that's really what it is.
00:03:59.000 That grounds you, though?
00:04:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:00.000 Because the training that I do, the martial arts stuff and kettlebell stuff and the strength and conditioning work, it's so hard that everything else is easy.
00:04:09.000 And then I do ice baths and saunas, and they're so hard that everything else is easy.
00:04:14.000 And so that's where I struggle.
00:04:16.000 I struggle in those areas so that I don't have this existential angst in the rest of life.
00:04:22.000 Alright, so we strip away.
00:04:24.000 What if I stole your kettlebells?
00:04:29.000 What would Joe Rogan be like without the exercise and the Instagram close-up of a sweaty face?
00:04:37.000 I worked out today.
00:04:39.000 I didn't want to, but I did it.
00:04:40.000 What would you be like without that outlet?
00:04:43.000 You'd be filled with anxiety.
00:04:45.000 I'm not good if I just take a couple days off.
00:04:47.000 If I take a couple days off, I get weird.
00:04:49.000 You'd be fatter than me, you think?
00:04:51.000 For sure.
00:04:52.000 You're superior.
00:04:54.000 I got COVID. I didn't even notice it.
00:04:57.000 But I didn't get the original COVID. I got the Omicron.
00:04:57.000 You didn't even notice it.
00:05:00.000 The new version.
00:05:01.000 It's like Gallagher 2 of COVID. Right.
00:05:04.000 It's like a crypto version.
00:05:06.000 I didn't get like...
00:05:07.000 I got like one of the crypto, you know, like when you're on your Coinbase account, you're like, who's buying this shit?
00:05:13.000 You got New Coke.
00:05:14.000 Yeah, I got New Coke.
00:05:16.000 I got New Coke.
00:05:18.000 New Coke.
00:05:19.000 That didn't last, did it?
00:05:20.000 And is some of it, is it yoga?
00:05:22.000 Do you meditate?
00:05:23.000 Yeah, it's all those things.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, I do a lot of my meditating while I'm in the sauna.
00:05:28.000 I used to listen to books on tape in the sauna, but I realized it's actually beneficial to my head to just have nothing and just go in there and sit and think.
00:05:36.000 And so for 20 minutes every day, I'm just sitting and thinking in this fucking oven.
00:05:42.000 And when you go to bed in your chamber, right, in your tank, do you sleep in an oxygen tank?
00:05:49.000 You don't.
00:05:49.000 No, but I do use one sometimes.
00:05:51.000 I use a hyperbaric chamber sometimes.
00:05:51.000 You do?
00:05:53.000 Is that what LeBron does?
00:05:54.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:05:55.000 A lot of athletes do.
00:05:56.000 It's really good.
00:05:57.000 But when you go to bed, you're not like me falling asleep with a TV on.
00:06:01.000 There's no TV in your bedroom.
00:06:03.000 No, I don't want it.
00:06:04.000 Well, there is one, but I don't use it.
00:06:06.000 I've never even turned it on.
00:06:08.000 What is your guilty pleasure?
00:06:10.000 Food.
00:06:10.000 You put mustard on your elk meat.
00:06:13.000 Daddy likes to eat a lot of food.
00:06:15.000 You do love.
00:06:15.000 Like, those cheat meals, when I see, like, The Rock's cheat meal, it's like...
00:06:22.000 So he is not eating anything, like he's not doing bread or sugar, and then he's, like, just the amount of diarrhea he must have on those cheat days, right?
00:06:32.000 It's gotta be like, I'm not cleaning that bowl.
00:06:35.000 Have you ever met him?
00:06:37.000 I have not.
00:06:37.000 He's enormous.
00:06:38.000 He's a big guy.
00:06:40.000 He's like a superhero status.
00:06:41.000 When you're around him, you can't believe that's a real person.
00:06:43.000 Yeah, but is he happy?
00:06:44.000 He's so big.
00:06:44.000 He's very happy.
00:06:45.000 He seems very happy.
00:06:46.000 He's like a bazillionaire.
00:06:47.000 He's very wealthy.
00:06:49.000 But my point is, his body can take in all that food.
00:06:53.000 There's plenty of room.
00:06:55.000 There's plenty of room.
00:06:56.000 He's eating stacks of pancakes and giant cookies and ice cream.
00:07:00.000 Once he sells his liquor company, then he's going to be like, I never drank any of it.
00:07:07.000 Do you have your own liquor?
00:07:09.000 No.
00:07:10.000 No, I don't have my own liquor.
00:07:13.000 I drink, though.
00:07:14.000 Yeah, but you haven't been approached to have your own tequila or vodka?
00:07:18.000 I've been approached by some companies to do stuff.
00:07:21.000 I mean, I may in the future.
00:07:23.000 What I really like is whiskey, though.
00:07:25.000 I'm a little whiskey person.
00:07:26.000 What about bourbon?
00:07:27.000 Bourbon.
00:07:28.000 You know, bourbon whiskey.
00:07:29.000 Bourbon is just a Kentucky form of it.
00:07:31.000 I like bourbon.
00:07:33.000 I think bourbon is actually an American version of it.
00:07:35.000 I like scotch, too.
00:07:36.000 But what I like is old stuff.
00:07:38.000 That's the problem.
00:07:39.000 It's like, if you want to make whiskey right, like Buffalo Trace, it's eight years.
00:07:44.000 Wow.
00:07:45.000 It's got to sit in the barrel for eight years.
00:07:46.000 What's the most expensive whiskey that you've drank?
00:07:50.000 You're like, I can't believe I had a...
00:07:52.000 I drank some 21-year-old scotch.
00:07:54.000 It was pretty expensive.
00:07:55.000 It was really good, though.
00:07:57.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:57.000 I've had 21-year-old scotch.
00:07:58.000 That's amazing.
00:07:59.000 We have some 18-year-old here.
00:08:02.000 I get nervous.
00:08:03.000 Do you want a sip?
00:08:04.000 Do you want a little sip?
00:08:05.000 Sure, I'll have some.
00:08:06.000 Is it 21 years old?
00:08:08.000 What do we got here?
00:08:08.000 I think it's...
00:08:09.000 12 or 18 or something?
00:08:10.000 Hold on.
00:08:10.000 I'll find out.
00:08:12.000 What Joe does is he gets his guess a little bit buzzed, and then before you know it, Before you know it, you're talking shit.
00:08:21.000 Yeah.
00:08:21.000 These are not sponsors.
00:08:24.000 Glenlivet, this is 18 years old, and this is McAllen.
00:08:26.000 This is 18-year-old.
00:08:28.000 I think McAllen for you, Gaffigan.
00:08:30.000 It seems like it goes with your heritage.
00:08:33.000 My heritage.
00:08:34.000 I don't know.
00:08:36.000 Do you drink?
00:08:36.000 I drink occasionally.
00:08:38.000 Occasionally?
00:08:39.000 Well, this is an occasion, my friend.
00:08:40.000 I mean, it's been 25 years since I did, but...
00:08:44.000 Cheers.
00:08:46.000 Cheers.
00:08:46.000 Good to see you, brother.
00:08:50.000 Mmm.
00:08:51.000 Like, that's smooth.
00:08:53.000 Now I gotta start over.
00:08:54.000 This is why I like this, I know, now, one day sober.
00:08:59.000 No, but like, so that's, you work out in the morning.
00:09:02.000 Yes.
00:09:03.000 And you'll, how many days a week will you drink alcohol?
00:09:10.000 Depends on how many podcasts I do and what kind of animals are in here.
00:09:13.000 Like, if comedians are in here, they like to drink.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:16.000 You know?
00:09:17.000 I like to have one drink before a show, just to kind of like get loose.
00:09:21.000 How many more years do you think we have with Bert Kreischer?
00:09:23.000 I mean, I love Bert.
00:09:24.000 I love Bert.
00:09:25.000 That's a good question.
00:09:27.000 He is kind of like, he's a machine, but like it's like- He's a science project.
00:09:32.000 The machine has been running at full throttle for a while.
00:09:36.000 And there's sand in the gears.
00:09:39.000 No, I mean, honestly, we love Bert.
00:09:41.000 I love him to death, but Tom is his best friend, and Tom and I have had conversations where we express concern, and I'm like, I don't know what to do.
00:09:49.000 I mean, you can't, like, you know, that's one of the reasons why we did Sober October.
00:09:53.000 We had this big competition.
00:09:55.000 It was to save Bert?
00:09:56.000 Yes!
00:09:57.000 No, really?
00:09:58.000 Oh my gosh.
00:09:58.000 100%.
00:09:59.000 Yeah, it was to save Bert, because we thought he couldn't take a month off.
00:10:02.000 In fact, his doctor was nervous about him taking a month off.
00:10:06.000 Because he thought there might be a shock to the system?
00:10:09.000 Well, alcohol and benzodiazepine are the two drugs that are the most dangerous to just quit cold turkey.
00:10:09.000 Yeah.
00:10:15.000 Those are two drugs where people die from.
00:10:19.000 Now there's alcoholics listening, well, Joe said, keep drinking.
00:10:22.000 Keep going!
00:10:24.000 Well, you're supposed to wean yourself off of it, and you're supposed to, like, when people detox from alcohol, they do it under medical supervision, because it's very sketchy.
00:10:32.000 It can be really dangerous for your body.
00:10:34.000 Wow.
00:10:35.000 I believe that's what killed Amy Winehouse.
00:10:38.000 Really?
00:10:39.000 I'm pretty sure.
00:10:40.000 I'm pretty sure she went cold turkey off alcohol.
00:10:42.000 See if that's true.
00:10:44.000 I'm pretty sure though, because she was a really bad alcoholic.
00:10:48.000 Brilliant.
00:10:49.000 I thought it was other stuff.
00:10:51.000 It was alcohol and other stuff?
00:10:53.000 I think it was the alcohol that killed her, if I remember correctly.
00:10:56.000 I might be wrong.
00:10:57.000 We'll find out shortly.
00:10:58.000 It feels like with generations.
00:11:01.000 Found dead inside her London apartment, multiple investigations have concluded that Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning.
00:11:06.000 Oh wow, so she drank too much.
00:11:08.000 With a coroner's report after her death revealing that Winehouse had a blood alcohol content of 0.416, more than five times the legal limit to drive.
00:11:19.000 Yeah, but I bet she did that all the time.
00:11:21.000 Yeah.
00:11:21.000 No, like, my father, you know, and that generation, they could put, I mean, my dad, they could put it away.
00:11:29.000 My dad, like, I thought this was normal.
00:11:31.000 My dad would get home from work, have a vodka, and then after dinner, he'd have a scotch.
00:11:36.000 Like, I thought that was normal.
00:11:38.000 Yeah, I thought that was normal too.
00:11:39.000 But that generation was like, boom.
00:11:41.000 Yeah, they died quick.
00:11:42.000 I mean, my first job in advertising, I was sent every Friday to a liquor store to buy bottles of booze for different VPs.
00:11:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:11:52.000 Well, if you work in an office in a high-stress job, alcohol is almost mandatory for those people, just to unwind, throw a couple ice cubes, and they're like, Jesus fucking Christ, what are we doing?
00:12:03.000 At the end of the day, these guys just want to do something to take the fucking edge off.
00:12:07.000 People put in their time.
00:12:09.000 They put in their time.
00:12:10.000 I mean, if you're a person who's in one of them high-stress jobs where you're working 12 hours a day every fucking day, and then you're bringing a lot of it home with you, right?
00:12:19.000 Yeah.
00:12:19.000 I mean, my God.
00:12:21.000 What a lot of people do, I mean, think about how easy our fucking job is.
00:12:24.000 Oh my gosh.
00:12:25.000 In comparison to like a real job.
00:12:27.000 It's an hour.
00:12:27.000 Oh my Jesus.
00:12:28.000 Yeah.
00:12:29.000 It's so much easier.
00:12:31.000 You know, I spent like five days, because of course all shows got reshuffled, so my October, November, and December were really intense with tour dates.
00:12:45.000 And so I was in Seattle, and I would do my shows and go back to my hotel room and just write.
00:12:52.000 And I mean...
00:12:53.000 It was, I just can't articulate how much I loved it.
00:12:57.000 That's awesome.
00:12:58.000 It was just like, performing and writing is just so incredibly rewarding.
00:13:03.000 I know your point is like, compared to people that are like mixing cement.
00:13:08.000 I mean, it's like so easy, but it's also the level of stress and the amount of time.
00:13:14.000 Like, we don't have to be around people that much.
00:13:17.000 It's only like a couple hours a night.
00:13:19.000 It's just like, alright.
00:13:21.000 I mean, we do eat a lot of shit on the way up.
00:13:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:13:25.000 That is definitely an issue.
00:13:27.000 I mean, it weeds out people that aren't absolutely determined to make it, because it's so difficult.
00:13:33.000 Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
00:13:35.000 Like, I remember at one point, my brother-in-law was like, he was, I was doing spots in the city, and he was like, what do you get paid for these spots?
00:13:43.000 And this was true at the time.
00:13:45.000 I was like, $8.
00:13:46.000 And he goes, you get $8?
00:13:49.000 To work?
00:13:49.000 And I'm like, yeah.
00:13:51.000 And I'm like, but it's 15 minutes.
00:13:53.000 And he's like, wait a minute, you get $8.
00:13:56.000 Now people get compensated more for a spot in the city, but it was $8.
00:14:02.000 Yeah, and that's how it was at the store, too.
00:14:04.000 And you didn't care.
00:14:05.000 You didn't care.
00:14:06.000 Well, the goal, the ultimate goal was to get road work, like to really get a gig, like to be headlining at the weekend at an improv.
00:14:17.000 Like, oh my god, I'm really there.
00:14:18.000 It's my name on the marquee.
00:14:19.000 Holy shit, people are coming out to see me.
00:14:21.000 And that is almost, it feels unattainable to people that are just starting out, the idea that one day someone's going to come see you.
00:14:27.000 Yeah, I mean, it was like, I remember Geraldo was like, he wanted to tour and I was like, I just want to be a writer on Letterman.
00:14:34.000 That's all I wanted.
00:14:35.000 And so like the notion of touring, I mean, look, we live in a day and age where people are putting out multiple specials.
00:14:45.000 I remember Dennis Leary did his No Cure for Cancer.
00:14:50.000 There was no expectation that he would need to do another one.
00:14:53.000 Right, well, Kinnison, he had that one HBO special that was his really good one, and he had the Ronnie Dangerfield spot that he did, and then, you know, he had a couple afterwards with their kind of fucking, he was doing coke and partying, and it really wasn't the same.
00:15:07.000 Yeah, that one special.
00:15:08.000 That one special, Sam Kinnison.
00:15:10.000 If you want to see what Sam Kinnison was like when he was really good, it's that one HBO special.
00:15:14.000 And there was, with the exception of Carlin, no one was doing the hourly thing.
00:15:21.000 He was the unusual exception.
00:15:23.000 He was so unusual.
00:15:24.000 Because he was doing a new one every year.
00:15:25.000 I always think it's so funny how Carlin is so revered.
00:15:31.000 But obviously all comedians respect him.
00:15:36.000 But during when he was around, I don't think he got enough...
00:15:41.000 Respect.
00:15:41.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:42.000 He was probably appreciated for the words you can't say on television, but he was pumping out some really serious stuff.
00:15:52.000 And I think the audience didn't really like some of the shit he was saying.
00:15:56.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:15:57.000 All these rich people in the audience, he's like, we should turn all the golf courses and give them to homeless people.
00:16:02.000 People are like, wait a minute, we paid to get in here?
00:16:05.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:16:06.000 Yeah.
00:16:06.000 Well, he definitely had a lot of counterculture in him.
00:16:11.000 Rabble Rouser.
00:16:13.000 He has some great bits to this day about diseases that people keep reposting.
00:16:20.000 There's not a week on Twitter where he doesn't have some clip that really captures the moment.
00:16:29.000 How many specials did he have?
00:16:30.000 Let's just guess.
00:16:31.000 15?
00:16:32.000 I think he had 20. I think he did one for every year at the peak of HBO. When HBO, to get a special on HBO, it was a standard.
00:16:46.000 And I remember I saw in an interview, maybe this is...
00:16:51.000 That, you know, he tried the sitcom thing, and it didn't work, so he stuck with Stan.
00:16:58.000 I don't know what the...
00:16:59.000 There's Carlin experts that probably could explain it a lot better than me.
00:17:04.000 Well, he had some really good interviews, and God, I wish he was alive while I was doing the podcast where I could have interviewed him and talked to him.
00:17:12.000 Maybe he was in the beginning.
00:17:13.000 What year did he die?
00:17:15.000 Um...
00:17:18.000 Everything's a blur now.
00:17:19.000 Everything was six years ago or four years ago.
00:17:22.000 I want to say he died like 11, 2011?
00:17:24.000 2008. 2008. Wow.
00:17:26.000 So it was actually before the podcast.
00:17:28.000 But if I had the opportunity to talk to him, I would have definitely talked to him about his creative process.
00:17:33.000 But there's some pretty good interviews where he talked about that.
00:17:36.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:37.000 No, I remember...
00:17:38.000 I'm trying to just turn off my phone because I'm an idiot and I didn't turn it off before.
00:17:42.000 Look at all these specials.
00:17:44.000 Yeah, that's unbelievable.
00:17:46.000 So he had some gaps, right?
00:17:48.000 Like look at that.
00:17:48.000 63 and then 67 and then 72 and then another one in 72. God, he had two in 72 and then one in 73, one in 74, 75, 77, 81, 84. So what is the total number?
00:18:03.000 So for this discography from Maine, I guess, whatever Maine means, is 20, including that 2016 one.
00:18:11.000 So the 2016 one, I kind of like it when a lot of people die, was supposed to be out on 2001 around September 11th.
00:18:21.000 But it was literally scheduled to come out right after September 11th.
00:18:26.000 And the name of it, I kind of like it when a lot of people die.
00:18:29.000 That's fucking, obviously, a bit of an issue.
00:18:33.000 Yeah.
00:18:34.000 But so many...
00:18:35.000 HBO specials.
00:18:36.000 I don't know if it's separate from that.
00:18:38.000 Oh, I always thought it was every year.
00:18:41.000 That's so interesting.
00:18:42.000 I thought it was every year.
00:18:43.000 I felt like it was, too.
00:18:44.000 First 12 specials.
00:18:46.000 Huh.
00:18:47.000 So those are HBO specials.
00:18:49.000 And what are the other ones?
00:18:49.000 Are those albums?
00:18:50.000 I guess that'd be audio albums, maybe?
00:18:52.000 Because there's also television and film appearances in there.
00:18:55.000 Scroll down.
00:18:56.000 Scroll down.
00:18:56.000 Where you just had up.
00:18:58.000 Scroll down.
00:18:59.000 So what is that?
00:19:00.000 Television.
00:19:02.000 Oh, okay.
00:19:02.000 So these are different.
00:19:04.000 Okay, and scroll down a little further.
00:19:06.000 So these are all spots on television shows.
00:19:08.000 And then scroll down a little further.
00:19:10.000 And these are the HBO specials.
00:19:14.000 And then written works and audio books.
00:19:16.000 Wow.
00:19:17.000 A lot.
00:19:18.000 A lot.
00:19:19.000 Yeah.
00:19:19.000 I know that he went through a period he dealt with...
00:19:22.000 I mean, you probably have interviewed Kelly Carlin, probably.
00:19:26.000 I haven't.
00:19:27.000 I've spoken there on Twitter.
00:19:28.000 I don't know her at all.
00:19:30.000 But, like, I know that he struggled with some addiction and stuff like that, but...
00:19:35.000 He had a pill issue for a while.
00:19:36.000 Really?
00:19:36.000 Yeah.
00:19:37.000 I remember I was probably 93. I just started stand-up, and he went on at the original Improv on 44th Street.
00:19:48.000 And I remember he had a tape player, and he had a piece of paper where he, you know, like a cassette recorder, and he had these notes, and he had punchlines underlined.
00:20:03.000 I mean, granted, this is 30 years ago, so maybe I'm remembering some of it wrong, but I remember thinking, God, that is just, the detailing was so impressive.
00:20:18.000 And you can see it in his writing.
00:20:20.000 Yeah.
00:20:20.000 I mean, the wordsmith is just so extensive.
00:20:26.000 Yeah, he would write out his entire special, word for word, and then he would just kind of tighten it up.
00:20:32.000 That was how he did it.
00:20:33.000 And he would write sober, and then he would punch up on marijuana.
00:20:38.000 He would smoke pot and punch it up.
00:20:40.000 Wow.
00:20:40.000 Yeah, that was his move.
00:20:41.000 Brilliant.
00:20:42.000 I saw him bomb in front of my roommates in New Hampshire in 1988, 1989. Yeah.
00:20:51.000 I think he went through a rough patch a couple of times in his career.
00:20:55.000 I think with New Material...
00:20:58.000 You know, it's like American stand-ups versus like British stand-ups.
00:21:03.000 There is, you know, there's such a necessity to kill in America.
00:21:08.000 Like you can't be bad for a moment.
00:21:10.000 That's why I was so impressed when I saw Chris Rock once at the Comedy Store just fearlessly like, what else?
00:21:17.000 What else?
00:21:17.000 And he didn't get laughs for like 10 minutes.
00:21:19.000 And he's like, okay.
00:21:21.000 And then he got off stage completely on face.
00:21:23.000 Like I would be like, it can't be.
00:21:26.000 Get me heroin, something!
00:21:30.000 But the whole thing of...
00:21:36.000 At Carlin, just the volume was insane.
00:21:41.000 And also, you have to risk bombing.
00:21:46.000 Yeah, he didn't work out either.
00:21:48.000 He didn't go to comedy clubs and practice.
00:21:51.000 That was actually part of one of his routine.
00:21:53.000 He had this routine called, and fuck this.
00:21:56.000 And it was like, everything was fuck this and fuck that and fuck comedy clubs.
00:22:01.000 He literally said, fuck comedy clubs.
00:22:04.000 I don't have to work out in comedy clubs.
00:22:06.000 And when I saw him in New Hampshire, he went on stage with a legal pad, a yellow legal pad.
00:22:12.000 And he had all his stuff written out and he put it down.
00:22:14.000 And my roommate was like, why is you reading his jokes?
00:22:17.000 I was like, because they're new jokes, you fuck.
00:22:19.000 And I think there is, it's weird because, do you ever have like younger kids at your shows?
00:22:25.000 No.
00:22:26.000 You don't have like a 15 year old boy?
00:22:28.000 No, that's not legal.
00:22:30.000 Okay.
00:22:30.000 What do you mean not legal?
00:22:31.000 It actually might be legal here.
00:22:32.000 In Texas, a lot of shit is legal.
00:22:34.000 I just found out in Texas, you can bring a child to a bar, and as long as the dad is with the child or the mom is with the child, the child can have their first drink.
00:22:43.000 Really?
00:22:44.000 Yeah, at a bar, like a kid.
00:22:45.000 Yeah, I mean, in Ireland, there's kids in all the bars and stuff.
00:22:49.000 And also, when we were kids, it was like not that big of a deal.
00:22:54.000 Oh no, I went to my father's bar when I was like five years old.
00:22:57.000 Yeah.
00:22:57.000 Yeah.
00:22:58.000 And so, I can't even remember.
00:23:00.000 What's in this that you gave me?
00:23:02.000 Whiskey.
00:23:03.000 Scotch.
00:23:03.000 It's like...
00:23:05.000 It's good.
00:23:05.000 What we do is we just, we have these bottles of scotch and what we do is we just lace them with heroin and then comedians come in and we'll just give them just like a sip of it and they'll just freak out.
00:23:20.000 How long did you take off during this pandemic with no stand-up at all?
00:23:25.000 I did some drive-in shows.
00:23:28.000 Those are wild.
00:23:29.000 I mean...
00:23:30.000 Did you do them with Burt?
00:23:32.000 No.
00:23:33.000 You know, it's like...
00:23:34.000 It was kind of like dry humping.
00:23:39.000 You know what I mean?
00:23:39.000 It's just...
00:23:41.000 And it's like, that's a throwback from when we were teenagers, right?
00:23:45.000 It's a good way to put it, though.
00:23:46.000 But it was, yeah, I did a couple of them, and I was grateful for them, and I'm sure the audience hopefully had a good time, but it wasn't stand-up.
00:23:55.000 It's a little something to, like, remind people what it used to be like to go out and to see a show, but you're in your car, you don't have to worry about catching anything.
00:24:06.000 And so, but to answer your question, I went a good...
00:24:11.000 A year and a half?
00:24:13.000 Wow.
00:24:14.000 A year and a half.
00:24:15.000 Yeah, I mean, I was supposed to do one of Chappelle's weekends.
00:24:19.000 Everyone got COVID, so I couldn't do that.
00:24:22.000 And then I was in Vancouver for four months working on a movie.
00:24:27.000 So I went a year and a half, and...
00:24:31.000 I was doing these CBS Sunday commentaries for the first 22 weeks, but I didn't really write stand-up.
00:24:41.000 Because my thought was, no one's going to want to hear about this pandemic, so I'm not going to write about the pandemic outside of these CBS Sunday commentaries.
00:24:49.000 So then when I started writing...
00:24:52.000 It's like, you know, we don't have control of what comes out.
00:24:55.000 I had some of this pandemic stuff that ended up in Comedy Monster, but I didn't have an expectation of doing material on the pandemic.
00:25:05.000 Did you?
00:25:06.000 No.
00:25:07.000 I mean, I think I never have expectation about doing material on anything.
00:25:11.000 It's just like, if there's a bit I enjoy doing that seems to be working and makes sense, then I just start doing it.
00:25:17.000 But if I had no material on the pandemic, I'd be happy with that.
00:25:20.000 Yeah.
00:25:21.000 My God, I fucking talked about it so much.
00:25:23.000 Of course.
00:25:24.000 I'm so exhausted talking about COVID. Yeah, no, I miscalculated.
00:25:30.000 I thought that it was going to be...
00:25:33.000 Similar to politics, where we consume all this politics all the time that when people get into a comedy room or a theater, they're not going to want to hear about it.
00:25:43.000 But I think that the pandemic has been so truly traumatic, not just the pandemic, the whole experience, that we're going to be digesting this for quite some time.
00:25:55.000 Oh, yeah.
00:25:56.000 And there's going to be a lot of anger.
00:25:58.000 There's going to be a lot of anger at a lot of the businesses that went under.
00:26:02.000 There's going to be a lot of anger at the politicians, how they handled it, and medical professionals, and whether or not early treatment options were pursued correctly.
00:26:10.000 There's going to be a lot of anger.
00:26:12.000 But there's also a lot of opportunity for humor.
00:26:15.000 People love that escape.
00:26:17.000 They love the ability, like if you crack a good one about COVID, they have this ability to let off some steam.
00:26:26.000 You know, particularly through the pandemic, and it's just generally kind of my approach, I think, is that humans are pretty dumb.
00:26:36.000 Like, we're generally...
00:26:38.000 Not only are we dumb, we think we're smart.
00:26:43.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that.
00:26:44.000 That's the worst part.
00:26:45.000 That's the saddest thing ever when a really dumb person thinks they're brilliant.
00:26:49.000 Right?
00:26:49.000 It's not the saddest thing ever.
00:26:51.000 It's the saddest thing ever when a child dies, right?
00:26:53.000 Yeah, I mean, it's like everyone...
00:26:56.000 Everyone kind of looks at their parents like, those idiots.
00:26:59.000 And our kids are like, those idiots.
00:27:02.000 It's just this generation after generation.
00:27:06.000 When they were putting leeches on people, the medical community was like, we did it.
00:27:11.000 We figured it out.
00:27:12.000 We put these bloodsuckers on people, and we got it.
00:27:15.000 Anyway, let's have some drinks.
00:27:17.000 Sure.
00:27:17.000 Well, they would bleed you out, too.
00:27:18.000 They would not just use leeches, they would cut you and leak your blood into a bucket to try to remove toxins from your system.
00:27:26.000 It's so weird, like, the shock therapy stuff, how, like, that disappears in our lifetime, where they're like, can you believe they did shock therapies?
00:27:35.000 And now you'll read an article, they're like, you know, these things shock therapy might work.
00:27:42.000 Humans are so stupid.
00:27:44.000 Well, it might not work on everybody, but it might work on some people.
00:27:49.000 Do you remember when Ed Muskie...
00:27:52.000 No.
00:27:53.000 Who was it?
00:27:53.000 William Montgomery.
00:27:55.000 William McGovern.
00:27:56.000 When William McGovern was running for president, his vice president...
00:28:03.000 It turned out in the middle of the race against Nixon that he had undergone shock therapy.
00:28:08.000 Yeah.
00:28:08.000 And like everybody's like, oh, Jesus.
00:28:10.000 They decided that he was a kook.
00:28:12.000 And so his vice president pick fucked him.
00:28:16.000 And he really had, because Hunter S. Thompson was on his side.
00:28:19.000 He was writing about him.
00:28:20.000 He had kind of gathered up some momentum, and it looked like he had a real shot to beat Nixon.
00:28:25.000 And then once his presidential, vice presidential candidate guy turned out to be a kook.
00:28:33.000 It's the timing of everything, right?
00:28:37.000 Timing is the big issue.
00:28:42.000 That's why it's so crazy about presidential candidates.
00:28:44.000 We're talking about elections overseas, about in other countries they do it a very quick election, there's not as much It's only a six-week thing where everything's running.
00:28:55.000 Our elections essentially run for two years.
00:28:58.000 It's like from 2022 on, there'll be a two-year process of people posturing and moving their pieces into play.
00:29:06.000 And saying they're not running.
00:29:07.000 Yeah.
00:29:08.000 But hey, I can't say officially.
00:29:10.000 I can't say officially, but if I was going to run, I would have Attack this administration on their terrible treatment of blah blah blah, and this and that, and the border crisis.
00:29:20.000 And what have they done to the infrastructure?
00:29:23.000 And no one fixes shit.
00:29:25.000 That's what's crazy.
00:29:26.000 Think about all the things Biden promised before he got into office.
00:29:29.000 And there's people that are actually shocked that he didn't do everything he said he was going to do.
00:29:34.000 I can't believe this, and I voted for him.
00:29:36.000 How many fucking times does Lucy have to pull the ball from Charlie Brown before Charlie Brown realizes this is bullshit?
00:29:43.000 I would take Biden's corpse over Trump.
00:29:47.000 Well, it's not really Biden, right?
00:29:49.000 It's the cabinet.
00:29:50.000 It's the people that are running the whole administration.
00:29:54.000 That's what's going on now.
00:29:56.000 It's not Biden.
00:29:57.000 It's all the other folks that are moving things into place.
00:29:59.000 But, like, I mean...
00:30:02.000 I still look at, like, you know, along the same lines of what you just said.
00:30:09.000 So, like, Betsy DeVos.
00:30:12.000 Stephen Miller.
00:30:15.000 You'd take all those people over.
00:30:17.000 You know, even Mike Pence.
00:30:19.000 You'd take him over.
00:30:22.000 Say what you want about Kamala or Kamala or whatever.
00:30:25.000 Kamala?
00:30:26.000 You know, it's like any of those people.
00:30:30.000 And I know I'll probably get murdered by some Trumpy.
00:30:32.000 But like, it's like...
00:30:35.000 I don't think she's the best example.
00:30:36.000 I think Kamala Harris has a storied history of incarcerating people and keeping people in jail past the time they were supposed to be released to use them as cheap labor for the state of California to fight wildfires.
00:30:49.000 Mike Pence believed in like you could do therapy to get rid of gay.
00:30:54.000 Wait a minute, you don't?
00:30:55.000 What?
00:30:56.000 But what did we do earlier?
00:30:58.000 All that hugging and everything.
00:30:59.000 I thought that's what that was about.
00:31:01.000 That was, we hugged out my love for you.
00:31:06.000 That is a crazy thing to think you could pray gay away.
00:31:08.000 It's so weird to feel your butt implants.
00:31:10.000 Why would you get butt implants?
00:31:14.000 I didn't like my flat butt.
00:31:16.000 I wanted a high arc.
00:31:18.000 But that was cultural appropriation.
00:31:20.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:31:22.000 No, no, no.
00:31:23.000 There's some people from my culture that have that.
00:31:25.000 It's just I'm lazy.
00:31:26.000 I don't want to do squats.
00:31:27.000 How long do you think we got?
00:31:27.000 Do you think we got 10 years?
00:31:29.000 Yeah.
00:31:29.000 You think we got 10 years?
00:31:29.000 I worry we have about 10 years.
00:31:31.000 And I think the decline between what happens now- I'm too old to learn Chinese.
00:31:35.000 I can't.
00:31:35.000 I'm not going to learn Mandarin.
00:31:36.000 That's the problem.
00:31:36.000 We might have to.
00:31:37.000 My sons are learning Mandarin.
00:31:39.000 Thankfully, there's apps.
00:31:41.000 Yeah.
00:31:42.000 Yeah.
00:31:43.000 Like, they have a thing with Google.
00:31:45.000 They have these things, I think it's, is it with the Galaxy Buds?
00:31:52.000 One of the Android phones has the ability to translate in real time with sound.
00:31:59.000 So, like, say if you said something in Chinese, the phone would say it back to me in my ear in English.
00:32:08.000 But that's where, isn't that the basis of why so many wars have started is miscommunication?
00:32:16.000 Oh, well, also being led by people that pretend they have your best interests at heart.
00:32:20.000 Look, in the real world, if there was no government, why would anybody fight with the Chinese or the Serbians or the Russians?
00:32:28.000 Like, we wouldn't.
00:32:28.000 We'd have no problem with them.
00:32:29.000 They're over there.
00:32:30.000 We're over here.
00:32:30.000 Huh.
00:32:31.000 It's fine.
00:32:31.000 The problem is when enormous groups of people are led by a small, tight-knit group of individuals who are influenced almost entirely by money.
00:32:41.000 And so you think it's all money?
00:32:44.000 100%.
00:32:44.000 Money and natural resources.
00:32:46.000 Let me ask you this.
00:32:46.000 Do you think that the entertainment industry is about money?
00:32:49.000 Yes.
00:32:50.000 I disagree.
00:32:51.000 What's it about?
00:32:51.000 Love?
00:32:52.000 Joy?
00:32:52.000 No.
00:32:53.000 It's about ego.
00:32:55.000 Well, that too.
00:32:56.000 I think whenever people are like, oh, the entertainment industry is about money, I'm like, really?
00:33:02.000 Because, you know, Mel Gibson did Passion of the Christ.
00:33:07.000 You could do like five of those and make a lot of money.
00:33:11.000 It's not about that.
00:33:12.000 And I think that politicians...
00:33:15.000 Here, by the way, I'm destroying my career on this episode.
00:33:19.000 But it's about status.
00:33:22.000 It's about everyone wants To be in the restaurant and be greeted with warmth, whether it's a restaurant or country club.
00:33:32.000 That's true.
00:33:33.000 And every now and then, someone does something, like Mitch McConnell, he's going to go out to dinner in Kentucky, and he's going to be harassed by a Trump supporter.
00:33:46.000 Right.
00:33:46.000 And he's like, ugh.
00:33:48.000 Well, he gets harassed by Democrats.
00:33:49.000 Yeah, no, well, he gets...
00:33:51.000 But the thing is, is like, all these people want to be respected at their country club.
00:33:56.000 They don't care about...
00:33:57.000 The money's not the issue.
00:34:00.000 You don't think that the money is the primary motivating factor for them making movies?
00:34:06.000 I don't think so.
00:34:09.000 It's like they want awards, they want accolades, they want respect.
00:34:14.000 By the way, comedian to comedian, I don't even have to ask you this.
00:34:19.000 Comedians care about the respect of their peers.
00:34:23.000 That's a big factor.
00:34:24.000 And that is way more important than money.
00:34:28.000 Yeah, that's an enormous factor.
00:34:30.000 That's way more important than a credit.
00:34:31.000 Well, here's the thing.
00:34:33.000 There are some people that do really well, and they don't have the respect of their peers, and they always seem to be living in hell.
00:34:40.000 Yeah, or they're chasing it.
00:34:42.000 Yeah, they don't have friends.
00:34:44.000 There's a few people I know that are comics that are fairly successful, have zero comic friends, and they are the most miserable, weird, fucking bitter, stingy people.
00:34:55.000 They're just fucked, because they're on the outside.
00:34:58.000 I call them islands.
00:35:00.000 I always refer to them, like, with other comics, like, there's certain comics that are like an island.
00:35:04.000 Like, they're not in a community, like most of us are.
00:35:07.000 Well, I think there's something about the ambition...
00:35:14.000 It's like, if ambition takes over, if you care about ambition more than community, that's a problem.
00:35:20.000 It's a problem.
00:35:21.000 It's a big problem.
00:35:22.000 Well, it's like, there's not many of us, Jim.
00:35:24.000 I mean, how many comics are there, really, legitimately on Earth?
00:35:28.000 Is there even a thousand?
00:35:29.000 Are there even a thousand working professional comedians that make a living and can headline clubs and theaters?
00:35:37.000 I don't even think it's a thousand.
00:35:39.000 I think it's really strange, and this is along the same lines, how people...
00:35:44.000 And the public perception is so off on this, is that what people don't realize is that comedians with completely different views on a lot of different things, stylistically, dramatically different, in the green room,
00:36:02.000 they're all getting along.
00:36:06.000 Like, there is obviously some...
00:36:09.000 People that don't get along and there's people that go astray and, you know, they can become outcasts because they steal material or whatever.
00:36:18.000 But I think this notion that comedians wish ill upon each other is so false.
00:36:25.000 It's very false.
00:36:27.000 Especially good ones.
00:36:28.000 It's so weird because the reality is that comedians are these...
00:36:34.000 Weird kind of misfits in a way that when another comedian does something, even if they don't like it, they're like on the same stage.
00:36:44.000 It's weird.
00:36:45.000 Whereas I think in other aspects of the entertainment industry, it isn't the case.
00:36:51.000 Like I presented, I don't want to brag, but I presented at the Country Music Awards.
00:36:57.000 And what was so interesting is I know very little about country music.
00:37:02.000 But the sense of community there was sincere.
00:37:07.000 Like, it was an award show, and they opened the show with these ten stars, you know, from Brandi Carlyle to Dolly Parton to, like, you know, that's probably all the country music.
00:37:23.000 But they all...
00:37:26.000 There wasn't the hierarchy.
00:37:27.000 And what people don't realize, I think, with comedians is that, yeah, there's some hierarchy, but that disappears pretty quick.
00:37:36.000 It disappears when someone kills.
00:37:38.000 Yeah.
00:37:39.000 If someone's a killer, they immediately get brought into the fold.
00:37:44.000 Yes.
00:37:44.000 If you see someone and they do a 20-minute set and they fucking murder, you're like, God, you want to grab them.
00:37:48.000 Dude, that was fucking awesome.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:37:51.000 Because we're happy that someone else made it through.
00:37:54.000 Again, we're talking about how many people there are.
00:37:56.000 There are working professional comedians.
00:37:58.000 How many headliners are there in the United States of America?
00:38:01.000 Real headliners.
00:38:03.000 Is there 500?
00:38:04.000 I don't even think there's 500. But I even think some of it is not necessarily even the headliners.
00:38:10.000 It's like there's different kind of...
00:38:15.000 There's different tools that people have.
00:38:17.000 That's why it's so weird.
00:38:18.000 And I love acting.
00:38:19.000 But like when I work on a movie and you get a call sheet and there's like these – and some of it is for organizational purposes.
00:38:30.000 But you literally see this hierarchy played out and you're like, oh, wow.
00:38:34.000 That's – Strange.
00:38:37.000 And whenever I work on a movie, my manager's like, don't expect actors to be comedians.
00:38:45.000 Because you work with a comedian for three days, and the status is evened out.
00:38:50.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:38:51.000 It doesn't matter if someone's headlining or someone's middling.
00:38:54.000 And that's not the case in the – you know, that's why I think people want awards is because – so when you go into this hierarchy, you're like, no, I can come in.
00:39:07.000 I got this nomination.
00:39:08.000 I had a conversation, a friend of mine was dating an actress, and she was talking to me about NewsRadio, the sitcom I was on, and she asked me what number I was billed on in the credits.
00:39:26.000 So what that means to everybody else at home, there's eight people in the cast, and she wanted to know when they said my name, like when the opening credits.
00:39:35.000 She was an actor, right?
00:39:36.000 Oh, yeah, 100%.
00:39:37.000 And I was like, wow, that's fascinating.
00:39:39.000 Like, that's interesting.
00:39:41.000 She goes, oh, just, you know, my agent says it's very important to get high billing.
00:39:46.000 Like, where they list you.
00:39:49.000 Like, news radio with Dave Foley.
00:39:52.000 Andy Dave.
00:39:53.000 Like, all that.
00:39:54.000 Like, when do they say your name?
00:39:56.000 Wow.
00:39:57.000 But I almost...
00:40:00.000 Feel for her because she didn't know that.
00:40:04.000 No.
00:40:04.000 She was kind of programmed.
00:40:05.000 Well, she was young and she was trying to make it in the business.
00:40:09.000 I mean, she wasn't malicious.
00:40:10.000 She was just, this was a concern.
00:40:13.000 Like one day she wanted to be on a sitcom or a show and she wanted to have a good billing.
00:40:18.000 Yeah.
00:40:19.000 Yeah.
00:40:19.000 So she just wanted to ask me what it was like.
00:40:21.000 Yeah.
00:40:22.000 Yeah.
00:40:23.000 So weird.
00:40:24.000 It's so weird.
00:40:26.000 It's so weird.
00:40:26.000 You know when you know that comedians get along?
00:40:29.000 When we meet each other in the airport.
00:40:31.000 When you meet someone in the airport, you're like, ah!
00:40:34.000 Where you working?
00:40:35.000 Where you been?
00:40:37.000 That's the number one time.
00:40:39.000 Yeah.
00:40:39.000 There are certain things that...
00:40:42.000 Yeah, there's...
00:40:43.000 You know, authenticity is a really important attribute.
00:40:48.000 Huge.
00:40:49.000 It's really...
00:40:51.000 So when the concept...
00:40:54.000 I mean, we're talking about Carlin who essentially reinvented himself.
00:40:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:40:59.000 But, like, you know, comedians are on this journey to find their more authentic selves.
00:41:07.000 And it is...
00:41:10.000 Stand-up comedy is all self-assignment.
00:41:13.000 It's like, Comedy Monster is my ninth special.
00:41:17.000 But no one's saying, hey, can you do another special?
00:41:19.000 It's like...
00:41:21.000 You decide when you do it.
00:41:22.000 It's all selfish.
00:41:24.000 It's similar to what you've created.
00:41:28.000 No one said, hey, like people like to think, oh, there's someone back there saying, hey, Joe, here's what we're going to do.
00:41:35.000 We're going to move to Austin.
00:41:37.000 You're going to open a comedy club.
00:41:39.000 You're going to do this.
00:41:40.000 There's no one doing that.
00:41:41.000 It's you.
00:41:43.000 Yeah.
00:41:44.000 It's you.
00:41:45.000 Not only that, there's a lot of people telling me don't do that.
00:41:47.000 Yeah.
00:41:49.000 All the people that, like, when I get this big Spotify deal, I'm like, I'm going to move to Texas.
00:41:53.000 They're like, no!
00:41:55.000 What are you doing?
00:41:56.000 Don't fuck this up.
00:41:57.000 Like, you have something great going on in Los Angeles.
00:42:00.000 I'm like, it's going to be fun.
00:42:02.000 We've got to go.
00:42:03.000 I've got to get out of here.
00:42:04.000 I'm like, I'm going to live my life.
00:42:06.000 This is something I do during my life, but I'm going to live my life.
00:42:10.000 And my life, my instincts are, I've got to get the fuck out of Dodge.
00:42:14.000 I'm like, this city is not the same city anymore.
00:42:16.000 It's got a mask on.
00:42:18.000 It's got the old LA mask, and behind it is danger and corrupt government and a lack of accountability about the economy collapsing.
00:42:29.000 Like, see ya!
00:42:30.000 I'm getting the fuck out of here.
00:42:31.000 So they were not happy with that.
00:42:34.000 There was a lot of people that were very nervous.
00:42:36.000 The people that profit off of the show.
00:42:39.000 But I was like, I'm going.
00:42:40.000 I'm going to do what I do.
00:42:43.000 My instincts are always just to do what I do.
00:42:45.000 What do I want to do?
00:42:46.000 I want to get out of here.
00:42:47.000 So I'm going to get out of here.
00:42:48.000 I would never stay just because somebody else thought it would be a better idea.
00:42:53.000 I'm like, eh, I think we'll be fine.
00:42:56.000 Yeah.
00:42:56.000 Yeah, it's really interesting that no one...
00:43:01.000 Even when you're told you're funny to do stand-up, you have to...
00:43:07.000 Not only do you have to get up there yourself, but you also...
00:43:10.000 Now it just sounds like I'm patting myself on the back.
00:43:12.000 No, but it's true.
00:43:12.000 It's like you have to also...
00:43:17.000 When the crowd more or less says, I hate you, you have to still do it.
00:43:23.000 Well, they hated me, but one day, you'll see it.
00:43:27.000 It's a form of mental illness.
00:43:30.000 Oh, 100%.
00:43:31.000 If you don't have mental illness, there's no way you're going to make it.
00:43:34.000 Because you're going to have to get past the bombing.
00:43:36.000 The bombing should be enough pain to force anybody out of the business.
00:43:41.000 I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother.
00:43:45.000 But I think that's not true.
00:43:47.000 Because there's got to be a guy out there who would like to suck a thousand dicks in front of his mom.
00:43:51.000 There's got to be a guy out there who'd be like, see this, mom?
00:43:54.000 999!
00:43:54.000 This one's for you!
00:43:55.000 You fucking raised me wrong!
00:43:57.000 But no one wants a bomb.
00:44:00.000 No one.
00:44:00.000 No one wants to say jokes that they hope get a laugh and then they fall flat.
00:44:04.000 And by the way, the term bomb is a gentle description of public humiliation.
00:44:12.000 Yes.
00:44:12.000 It is full wholesale.
00:44:16.000 It occurs where there are people that look at you with By the way, I was on a plane next to Chris Christie and it was interesting because I was thinking about him and people were getting on the plane and people were very polite but I was like,
00:44:41.000 this guy...
00:44:44.000 So many politicians, you know, and he's a fighter, but so many of these politicians, maybe they almost crave kind of like saying something that the audience doesn't like.
00:44:58.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:44:59.000 So, you know, like the shock?
00:45:01.000 So comedy, some of it is surprise and shock.
00:45:05.000 But like I was sitting next to him and I'm like, he's a fighter.
00:45:09.000 Most of these politicians, do they get off on the groan that the comedian sometimes gets?
00:45:16.000 You know like when you say something and the audience is like, aww, but you did it for yourself.
00:45:21.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:45:22.000 And I obviously do it to a much lesser extent than you filthy comics.
00:45:28.000 But does he, do politicians get off on that?
00:45:34.000 I think it's probably a contrarian thing.
00:45:36.000 It's probably a human nature thing.
00:45:37.000 Like people like saying things that other people don't want to hear, especially if they can be proven right.
00:45:43.000 Wow.
00:45:44.000 Yeah.
00:45:44.000 That guy single-handedly made me not scared of COVID. But he survived.
00:45:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:50.000 I'm like, he survived?
00:45:52.000 I'm fucking fine.
00:45:56.000 I'm like, dude, I'm going to cruise right through this shit.
00:45:58.000 He also got all the good stuff, right?
00:46:00.000 Everybody should get all the good stuff, Jim.
00:46:02.000 That's what's going on.
00:46:03.000 Well, that's why you're running for governor of Florida.
00:46:06.000 Yeah.
00:46:06.000 Well, DeSantis is doing a great job.
00:46:08.000 I'm going to run for Arkansas.
00:46:10.000 No one else votes.
00:46:12.000 Somewhere easy.
00:46:13.000 But then you're moving to Arkansas.
00:46:16.000 That's what Bill Clinton did.
00:46:17.000 Well, but he was from there.
00:46:20.000 Barely?
00:46:21.000 Was he?
00:46:22.000 Yeah, he was raised in Hope, Arkansas.
00:46:24.000 Really?
00:46:25.000 Yes.
00:46:26.000 That's the place?
00:46:26.000 Yes!
00:46:27.000 Who knows?
00:46:28.000 No one lives there.
00:46:30.000 Huckleberry or whatever.
00:46:32.000 Huckabee's also from there.
00:46:33.000 Huckabee.
00:46:34.000 Huckabee.
00:46:35.000 Now, Huckabee, you think Huckabee...
00:46:37.000 I think he...
00:46:39.000 No.
00:46:39.000 I think he wanted to be in the entertainment industry.
00:46:42.000 Oh, yeah, probably.
00:46:43.000 That's what I was getting at.
00:46:44.000 What do you think I was going to say?
00:46:45.000 Should be president.
00:46:46.000 No, no.
00:46:46.000 Wasn't he...
00:46:47.000 He was on, like, Fox or something?
00:46:49.000 Didn't he have a show for a while?
00:46:50.000 Yeah, he had a show on Fox.
00:46:51.000 Did they cancel it?
00:46:52.000 Well, he was a preacher also.
00:46:54.000 Ah, well, that's show business.
00:46:55.000 Right?
00:46:56.000 That's Kinnison, you know?
00:46:57.000 And so, and Bill Hicks also, right?
00:47:00.000 No, I don't think he was a preacher.
00:47:02.000 No, but like, I think that there was, you know, he was raised in some of that Christian stuff, wasn't he?
00:47:08.000 Yeah, he was definitely raised in...
00:47:09.000 I say that like I'm not Christian.
00:47:11.000 Well, you're a Catholic, right?
00:47:12.000 I'm a Catholic, which is, you know...
00:47:14.000 Hardcore.
00:47:14.000 That's part of the Christian faith.
00:47:17.000 Oh, yeah.
00:47:17.000 What were you raised, Joe?
00:47:18.000 Catholic.
00:47:19.000 You were raised Catholic.
00:47:20.000 Yeah.
00:47:20.000 And now you're going to hell.
00:47:22.000 No, no, no.
00:47:23.000 I'm going to the dimension of elves.
00:47:25.000 So are you agnostic?
00:47:27.000 No.
00:47:29.000 You know, I would say that, but it all comes with too much baggage.
00:47:33.000 I don't like the term atheist.
00:47:35.000 To me, being an atheist is...
00:47:38.000 I know it means without a god.
00:47:41.000 You don't believe in...
00:47:42.000 You're not a theist, right?
00:47:45.000 But I think it's very arrogant to pretend we have any idea what happens when we die.
00:47:51.000 Do I believe that there was a man who walked on water and died and came back to life and...
00:47:57.000 No, but I think that most of what that is, if you understand human language and you understand history, is, you know, you're dealing with stories that were thousands of years old before they were ever written down.
00:48:13.000 And they're in a lot of different cultures, too.
00:48:15.000 Yes, yes.
00:48:16.000 Well, Epic of Gilgamesh is like the oldest version of the Bible in terms of, like, the stories of Noah's Ark.
00:48:22.000 It's kind of...
00:48:23.000 It's got roots in there.
00:48:25.000 There's a lot of...
00:48:26.000 There's a lot of parallels.
00:48:28.000 It makes you think.
00:48:29.000 And I'm a firm believer that a lot of what that is is documenting cataclysmic disasters that happen to the human race.
00:48:37.000 And those have been substantiated by archaeologists and by people that are geologists that study core samples.
00:48:45.000 There's been some epic moments where most people were wiped out and they survived.
00:48:50.000 And a lot of these stories, I think, are the basis of a lot of the roots of these stories that are in the Bible and the Torah and a lot of ancient religions.
00:49:00.000 But the idea of, like, is there a God?
00:49:04.000 There very well could be something.
00:49:06.000 Very well.
00:49:07.000 And I'm not— You should have him as a guest on your show.
00:49:10.000 I would love to.
00:49:11.000 Right?
00:49:13.000 Why do we assume it's a he?
00:49:15.000 I don't think it has a gender, right?
00:49:17.000 Right.
00:49:18.000 It's probably something that is the energy that creates the entire universe itself.
00:49:24.000 There's probably a thing, whatever that thing is.
00:49:30.000 And I think to try to label it and try to box it in with our pathetic language is pretty silly.
00:49:38.000 Our understanding.
00:49:40.000 Yeah.
00:49:40.000 It's very interesting because obviously...
00:49:45.000 I'm not in a 12-step program, but that is a faith-based thing.
00:49:50.000 And I do think that the notion for me personally that there is something – That is – I'm not in control is really important.
00:50:07.000 So that – and that possibly there is a notion of something that can forgive me or that I should not be caught up in this twist of self-hatred is really important to me.
00:50:20.000 And so that is how you balance your ego.
00:50:23.000 And you feel like that helps you?
00:50:25.000 Yeah, I mean, that all being said is that all these things I'm saying, I will forget in a day.
00:50:33.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:50:34.000 It's like, in the end, I'm a dumb guy.
00:50:37.000 I mean, we're all dumb guys, right?
00:50:39.000 But, yeah, I mean, and I think that That's why it's so impressive what you've built and you have not self-destructed.
00:50:49.000 There's no indication of self-destruction.
00:50:52.000 I mean, you're not the first person.
00:50:57.000 I mean, The Rock is built in an incredible thing.
00:50:59.000 I want to see you fight The Rock.
00:51:01.000 I'm not fighting that guy.
00:51:02.000 I want you to fight him.
00:51:03.000 He's like a hundred pounds larger than me.
00:51:05.000 Can you kiss him?
00:51:06.000 I'll kiss him before I fight him.
00:51:08.000 But I do think it's fascinating because among comedians there is this self-destructive thing.
00:51:15.000 Tendency.
00:51:16.000 Yeah.
00:51:21.000 It's not mandatory.
00:51:22.000 It's not something that's unavoidable.
00:51:25.000 You can avoid it.
00:51:27.000 The idea that it's self-destruction is inherent to whether it's rock and roll or art or comedy or even actors.
00:51:39.000 I just think it's so hard to not be.
00:51:44.000 With rock stars, my god, how many rock stars are self-destructed?
00:51:47.000 They're on that stage jamming out and everybody's screaming and they love them, and then silence, and then they're alone.
00:51:53.000 And then they want to be surrounded by people that keep feeding them that love.
00:51:56.000 And then they go to a bar and they meet Lady Gaga.
00:51:59.000 Oh, that movie?
00:52:00.000 I didn't see it.
00:52:01.000 I saw the first five minutes.
00:52:04.000 Yeah, it's a crazy world.
00:52:07.000 And it's also one of the things about being a comic or any entertainer that becomes very successful is there's not much of a blueprint for you to follow.
00:52:17.000 No.
00:52:17.000 And the blueprint changes.
00:52:19.000 So when people ask for advice, you're like...
00:52:22.000 You know, what worked six months ago is not going to work.
00:52:25.000 So even your relocation to Austin, to this address, which I'm going to announce, no, that doesn't apply to now.
00:52:38.000 No.
00:52:39.000 You know, like I remember in stand-up starting, you know, like what I did, like when I did open mics, there was no audience.
00:52:51.000 There weren't even bringer shows really.
00:52:53.000 It was like you were performing in front of other mentally ill people.
00:52:57.000 It was like...
00:52:59.000 It would be a few audience members, like 10. You know, maybe an alcoholic who was drinking at 5pm.
00:53:05.000 And you know, like the Boston scene that you started in doesn't exist like that.
00:53:11.000 It doesn't exist like that, but I've heard it's made a comeback.
00:53:14.000 I've heard there's a good scene there.
00:53:15.000 Well, it's a new iteration of it, but...
00:53:17.000 No, it doesn't exist like it did then.
00:53:19.000 That Boston, you know, that was legendary.
00:53:22.000 Yeah.
00:53:23.000 Right?
00:53:23.000 It was very, very unique.
00:53:25.000 It was very unique in that there were so many world-class comics that all lived in one place and would headline in these areas like every week.
00:53:35.000 Yeah.
00:53:36.000 They make tons of money.
00:53:38.000 And do it all in coke.
00:53:39.000 Yeah.
00:53:39.000 Yeah.
00:53:40.000 That's the only place I've ever been offered to be paid in Coke.
00:53:44.000 Wow.
00:53:45.000 They would go, do you want cash or Coke?
00:53:47.000 Or a little bit of both.
00:53:48.000 I'm like, just give me the money, man.
00:53:50.000 Wow.
00:53:52.000 Yeah.
00:53:53.000 That was Nick's Comedy Stop.
00:53:55.000 There's some places that were, I mean, allegedly, I don't know for sure, I could never say this in court, fully run by the mob.
00:54:03.000 And, you know, they had these wild ties to organized crime, and they were running comedy clubs, and I'm sure they were moving money around and stuff.
00:54:13.000 It's crazy.
00:54:14.000 But it was awesome.
00:54:15.000 The people that were there, the comedians, they were so talented.
00:54:18.000 They were so good.
00:54:19.000 And they never changed their material.
00:54:21.000 Ever.
00:54:22.000 Right.
00:54:22.000 They didn't need to.
00:54:23.000 No.
00:54:23.000 They didn't do any specials.
00:54:25.000 None of those guys did specials.
00:54:27.000 And all those guys had an hour that would fucking shake the foundation of the building.
00:54:33.000 Like Don Gavin, Steve Sweeney, and Kevin Knox.
00:54:38.000 There were so many of those guys.
00:54:40.000 Mike Donovan.
00:54:41.000 They were monsters.
00:54:43.000 They were monsters.
00:54:44.000 Kenny Rogerson.
00:54:45.000 I remember watching them going, how does the world not know about these fucking people?
00:54:50.000 They were as good if not better than anybody that was on Evening at the Improv or HBO and they never left.
00:54:59.000 They stayed in this one town and there were so many clubs they could work at that they had no desire to leave.
00:55:06.000 And they would leave.
00:55:07.000 They would go to other places and the other places people wouldn't know them.
00:55:10.000 And they wouldn't get the same reaction.
00:55:12.000 So they'd come back to Boston again.
00:55:13.000 Yeah, but isn't that...
00:55:16.000 It's a trap.
00:55:17.000 It is a trap, right?
00:55:19.000 It's a trap.
00:55:19.000 Yeah, it's a trap.
00:55:20.000 They could have been world-class everywhere, and they chose to not do that and to stay within the confines of the comfort of their playground.
00:55:31.000 Which is almost the upside-down version of you being able to go to Austin, right?
00:55:39.000 Right.
00:55:39.000 So you going to Austin, you're like, I can go...
00:55:44.000 Where I want, and I'm going to go here.
00:55:47.000 And the them not leaving Boston, you know, it's similar.
00:55:53.000 You know, like, look, I grew up in a small town, and there were people that, when I moved to New York, were kind of like, how'd you get that?
00:56:02.000 And I'm like, you can move there, too.
00:56:06.000 They stopped asking for a passport.
00:56:09.000 You found a ticket somewhere.
00:56:10.000 There is...
00:56:12.000 Something, you know, there's the comfort they enjoyed.
00:56:14.000 They were also, you know, partying their ass off.
00:56:17.000 But you have to, I guess you got to make yourself uncomfortable, don't you?
00:56:22.000 Oh, it's the most important thing.
00:56:24.000 It's the most important thing.
00:56:25.000 If you strive for comfort, you're fucked.
00:56:27.000 You can't do that.
00:56:29.000 There's, I mean, it's not bad to be comfortable occasionally.
00:56:32.000 How do you carry on the lessons that you've acquired?
00:56:37.000 How do you give those to your children?
00:56:40.000 That's hard.
00:56:41.000 That's really hard.
00:56:42.000 Is it nature or nurture?
00:56:43.000 It's both.
00:56:44.000 It's both for sure.
00:56:45.000 I mean, I have one kid, my middle kid, who is a fucking straight up psycho.
00:56:51.000 I don't have to tell her anything.
00:56:52.000 She is just so driven and so smart and disciplined.
00:56:57.000 And then I have my youngest, who is really artistic.
00:57:03.000 And was less motivated, but now she does a lot of sports and she's more motivated.
00:57:07.000 And then I have my oldest who is probably like one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life.
00:57:14.000 And I'm like, you are so nice in the fact that you grew up with me.
00:57:19.000 And you've become this incredibly kind and sweet person.
00:57:24.000 So it's like You can't pick how your kids are going to turn out.
00:57:32.000 You can do your very best to influence them and to give them lessons and to teach them things, but my children grew up wealthy.
00:57:41.000 There's no way they're not going to be wealthy.
00:57:43.000 They've never had to worry about whether or not we're going to have food.
00:57:45.000 I remember when I was a kid and we were on welfare, wondering if we were going to have food.
00:57:50.000 And when you're seven years old and that's in your head, that fucks with you.
00:57:55.000 And it gives you this feeling of It's not just a lack of security.
00:58:03.000 It lights a fire into your ass to go out and do things because you realize how people used to be in the fucking pioneer days.
00:58:11.000 They had to go get food.
00:58:12.000 There was no stores.
00:58:13.000 They had to go get it.
00:58:14.000 They had to go get the food.
00:58:16.000 They had to either grow food.
00:58:17.000 And there was no air conditioning.
00:58:18.000 There was no air conditioning.
00:58:20.000 Imagine that.
00:58:20.000 That sucks.
00:58:21.000 Imagine being here.
00:58:22.000 Ugh.
00:58:22.000 No AC. No thanks.
00:58:23.000 In the summer.
00:58:25.000 I mean, at least we have a river.
00:58:26.000 Jump in the river.
00:58:27.000 Right.
00:58:29.000 That's crazy.
00:58:30.000 Yeah, it's rough.
00:58:31.000 Not only that, they didn't have any mosquito repellent.
00:58:33.000 They didn't have shit.
00:58:35.000 How about that?
00:58:35.000 They probably had like natural things.
00:58:38.000 What?
00:58:39.000 Yeah, what was New Orleans like?
00:58:43.000 That's probably why everybody's drunk.
00:58:45.000 Yeah.
00:58:46.000 I think you have to get drunk, right?
00:58:47.000 The fucking diseases.
00:58:49.000 I mean, there was a malaria outbreak in America.
00:58:51.000 Do you know that?
00:58:52.000 Yeah.
00:58:52.000 We've had malaria outbreaks in America, and it's from standing water.
00:58:56.000 And they realized that these mosquitoes breed in standing water.
00:58:59.000 So they eradicated the standing water, and they did a bunch of different things to try to mitigate the mosquito population.
00:59:06.000 Yeah.
00:59:06.000 All right, here, let's do a—you're going to do your prediction of what's going to happen in the next 10 years, and then I'll do my prediction, unless you want me to go first.
00:59:15.000 Okay.
00:59:18.000 With the collapse of the narrative that people are gonna be saved from COVID by vaccines They're gonna try to push them even further and there's gonna be a bunch of people buy into it because they're gonna be afraid that if they don't buy into it That they're gonna be ostracized from the good group of people and that only the bad group of people don't believe that This is the only way to go the the Possible medical treatments for COVID,
00:59:48.000 the ones, the early treatments that are important, that are being developed, and some of them that exist, will be adopted by some, and there'll be a divide between people that think you should have early treatment or people that think you should have, like, your fourth booster, which is what they're doing in Israel.
01:00:04.000 Along the way, what I'm worried about most is that they do import some sort of a vaccine passport which will evolve into a social credit system.
01:00:13.000 Similar to what China has right now.
01:00:14.000 Exactly.
01:00:15.000 That's what's terrifying about mandates.
01:00:17.000 That's what's terrifying about the direction this country's going in because they said we would never mandate vaccinations.
01:00:23.000 They said that very early on.
01:00:25.000 We would never do that.
01:00:26.000 Now they're saying we're mandating vaccines.
01:00:28.000 Now in California, you have to mandate a vaccine for children for them to go to school, which is fucking sketchy.
01:00:33.000 But there's other vaccines that kids take.
01:00:36.000 Yeah, but it's not a vaccine because you have to take it all the time.
01:00:38.000 You have to take it every year, every couple times a year, three times a year, whatever it's going to be.
01:00:44.000 It's essentially a gene therapy.
01:00:45.000 It's not like a small box vaccine or a measles vaccine.
01:00:48.000 Is there any truth to the rumor that went with the different variants as we go through the Greek alphabet that when we finish the Greek alphabet, the world dies?
01:00:58.000 Is that true?
01:00:59.000 It might be.
01:01:01.000 But this is my fear.
01:01:02.000 My fear is that the government, which is an entity...
01:01:06.000 Look, if you look at humans, right?
01:01:08.000 When human beings have power over other human beings, whether they're a boss at an office that's unchecked, that wants to fuck all the secretaries and steal all the money, or whether it's a president, or whether it's a congressperson who gets to use insider trading tactics and accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars.
01:01:27.000 That should be gone.
01:01:28.000 It should be gone, but all that stuff is in play.
01:01:30.000 Why?
01:01:31.000 Because they've accumulated unchecked power, and they will continue to exert this unchecked power as often and as widely as possible.
01:01:41.000 And my fear is that one of the tools that will allow them to do that is to institute some sort of a social credit system.
01:01:49.000 And people will go along with it because they think that they're doing the right thing, that they're good people, and that good people want people to be vaccinated, and the best way to do that is to have an app, and the best way to ensure that people do the best to protect those around them is to sign up for this social credit system.
01:02:05.000 And they're already buttering people up to it.
01:02:07.000 There was an article in Yahoo about how you're going to be able to have access to more credit if you agree to this social system.
01:02:14.000 If you agree to allowing them, the premise initially was allowing them to look at your browser history.
01:02:22.000 If you allow access to your browser history, I'll show you the article.
01:02:26.000 Really?
01:02:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:02:27.000 It's adorable.
01:02:30.000 Access to your browser.
01:02:31.000 You can get more credit, Jim.
01:02:32.000 Maybe you want that nice house.
01:02:34.000 Maybe there's a house you like, and then there's a house you can afford.
01:02:37.000 Maybe you can afford the house you like.
01:02:39.000 Oh, it's so interesting.
01:02:40.000 It's kind of like free Wi-Fi if you give us your birthday.
01:02:43.000 Exactly.
01:02:44.000 So it's letting you slowly get integrated into the system, and the benefits that you get from it will allow you to take this chance, and then they're going to have their hooks in.
01:02:53.000 And this is the thing that most social psychologists that are studying this shit are terrified of.
01:02:59.000 Credit scores may soon be based on your web history.
01:03:02.000 Is that a good thing?
01:03:03.000 It's a good thing.
01:03:05.000 Experts predict in the not too distant future, your internet habits could affect your credit score and help lenders determine what they offer you.
01:03:13.000 We will let you in on what we know so far about how your online activity could be used to determine how much credit you can get and what interest rate.
01:03:23.000 This is the beginning of this shit.
01:03:25.000 Once they develop a social credit system and say, Jim, you've been paying your taxes late.
01:03:30.000 You're not going to be able to go to the movies on Friday.
01:03:33.000 That kind of shit.
01:03:34.000 Oh, it's like China.
01:03:35.000 You can't get on that train.
01:03:36.000 Exactly.
01:03:37.000 That kind of shit is how they divide society.
01:03:39.000 And that is 100% on the table for the United States of America if we don't watch.
01:03:45.000 If we don't pay attention and if we allow these politicians to have this unchecked use of power It absolutely could be our future, and it will be dystopian at best.
01:03:57.000 If that's what happens, if they have that kind of unchecked power— And you think that—is this more likely to occur among the Democrats or the Republicans, or in either?
01:04:11.000 I think it's probably either.
01:04:12.000 I think our idea of what people are capable of is based entirely on the allegiance we have to our tribe and whether or not we think we're the good guys or the bad guys.
01:04:26.000 I think if you look at the way the far left behaves with Antifa lighting fucking buildings on fire and throwing rocks at cops and all that crazy shit, their behavior is just as crazy as people that are on the far right.
01:04:40.000 Do you feel like you...
01:04:42.000 You don't feel like the...
01:04:50.000 So you think that Antifa is as big enough of a problem as the insurrectionists and stuff like that?
01:05:01.000 It completely depends on where you live.
01:05:05.000 It completely depends on how much power they have.
01:05:08.000 I think if the insurrectionists got to a point where they were supported, like those morons that went to the Capitol on January 6th, If they got to the point where they were protected and supported by politicians and they were- If they were described as patriots.
01:05:23.000 Yes.
01:05:24.000 And not only that, if they were exonerated of all their vandalism- Responsibility.
01:05:31.000 All the things that Antifa's done.
01:05:32.000 Exonerated of their vandalism, said that their protests were mostly peaceful.
01:05:37.000 If they use that kind of rhetoric and they built them up, I think they're all equally dangerous.
01:05:42.000 I think it's a human nature issue.
01:05:44.000 More than it is an ideological issue.
01:05:46.000 I don't think there's a good ideology and a bad ideology when it comes to the opposition of power.
01:05:50.000 I think there are tactics and strategies that people will use, and they will use them if they think they're doing it for social justice, if they have fucking blue hair in a Molotov cocktail, or if they think they're doing it because they're patriotic because they have an American flag bandana in a fucking Molotov cocktail.
01:06:06.000 I think they're the same people.
01:06:08.000 I think they're the same people, and if you got that guy, With the fucking Buffalo helmet on, who sat in Nancy Pelosi's chair, if you got that dipshit and you moved into Portland and he grew up there and he thought that he was gonna, you know, take down the Capitol building and throw a fucking hand grenade at Ted Wheeler,
01:06:24.000 who's the mayor of Portland, he would have done that.
01:06:27.000 He would have done that.
01:06:29.000 Instead of attack the Capitol, instead of being this QAnon dummy, he would have been an Antifa dummy.
01:06:35.000 I don't think they're any different.
01:06:37.000 I think they adopt this ideology, they fit in, they get meaning in that, they find themselves...
01:06:42.000 It's their religion.
01:06:43.000 Exactly.
01:06:44.000 Exactly.
01:06:45.000 It's very tribal, and it's very much in line with human behavior characteristics that have existed from the beginning of time.
01:06:52.000 And we know that these people are receiving tons of...
01:06:59.000 You know, information through social media and stuff like that, that is...
01:07:05.000 Like, a lot of these Trump supporters, they're sincere.
01:07:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:07:11.000 Did you see Into the Storm?
01:07:13.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:07:14.000 The QAnon documentary on HBO? Yeah, yeah.
01:07:16.000 Wild.
01:07:17.000 Wild shit.
01:07:19.000 That's why I'm surprised that your prediction...
01:07:21.000 And I, you know, when you talk about, like, the social credit score, but, like, I look at it this way.
01:07:29.000 And some of it is...
01:07:30.000 I'm a comedian, alright?
01:07:32.000 So, I am not...
01:07:34.000 But, um...
01:07:36.000 So two years, you know, here we are in 22. It's going to be a—the Democrats are going to lose the House.
01:07:46.000 They're going to lose the Senate.
01:07:48.000 They're going to lose a lot of—they're going to impeach Biden on, you know, some kind of Benghazi kind of thing.
01:08:01.000 And it's this powder keg that's getting worse and worse.
01:08:06.000 And then, you know, the voting rights, people are going to be, I would think people would be like kind of pissed in these, you know, these communities where there's, you know, African Americans have one place to vote and it's 20 miles away when I know that I can walk in and I don't even have to set aside a half an hour.
01:08:31.000 I think people are going to be kind of pissed.
01:08:33.000 I think there's going to be more violence.
01:08:36.000 I think it's probably not going to be good.
01:08:42.000 Is that a gigantic issue where so many African Americans live in a place where there's no place to vote in person?
01:08:49.000 It seems like voting rights...
01:08:52.000 Is that like a rural thing?
01:08:54.000 Are you talking about rural populations?
01:08:56.000 I think it's like there's certain communities where the access to voting has been limited in numerous states.
01:09:03.000 We know that, right?
01:09:04.000 Well, there's definitely shenanigans on both sides when it comes to voting.
01:09:09.000 Because from the beginning, like, if you said to anybody, like, do you think there's ever been an election where there's zero voting fraud?
01:09:17.000 No.
01:09:18.000 Never.
01:09:19.000 Not a single one.
01:09:20.000 I'm not talking about Kennedy winning Chicago.
01:09:23.000 But that's the beginning of it all.
01:09:25.000 But that was 1960. Right.
01:09:27.000 But do you know that the Democrats accused Bush of stealing the election, right?
01:09:32.000 Yes.
01:09:32.000 Yeah.
01:09:33.000 On more than one occasion.
01:09:34.000 And it's like, this is a thing that people have always...
01:09:37.000 But there's people that think that...
01:09:40.000 Essentially, the Republicans had better lawyers.
01:09:43.000 That's how W won that.
01:09:45.000 Yes, there are people that think that.
01:09:46.000 And then with John Kerry in particular, that was another one, right?
01:09:50.000 With Al Gore, that was another one.
01:09:52.000 But there wasn't the storming of the Capitol when Trump won.
01:09:56.000 Well, I think that's entirely a creation of social media and the ability to gather up people and do something really fucking stupid like that.
01:10:03.000 And then on top of that, agent provocateurs.
01:10:06.000 Agent provocateurs.
01:10:08.000 Did you ever see those guys?
01:10:09.000 Didn't Trump do a tweet like it's going to be wild?
01:10:12.000 Oh, listen, he is 100% a part of why they did that.
01:10:18.000 100% because of his influence and because you said you have to be strong and you have to do that.
01:10:23.000 He was compounding upon some other things that were happening.
01:10:26.000 But I also think there was, without a doubt, agent provocateurs from the federal government that encouraged people to go into the federal building, into the Capitol building.
01:10:34.000 But why?
01:10:35.000 You know, they have them on video.
01:10:37.000 Because they want to arrest people.
01:10:38.000 They want to catch people doing stuff like that.
01:10:40.000 And they also want to be able to have more authoritarian control.
01:10:44.000 Have you watched that?
01:10:45.000 That's wild shit.
01:10:47.000 But you're telling me that...
01:10:51.000 And again, it's like, you know, it's so interesting on social media.
01:10:54.000 People are like, you can't call them this.
01:10:56.000 I'm like, look, I'm not- What are they saying you can't call them?
01:11:01.000 Insurrectionists.
01:11:01.000 What are they?
01:11:02.000 If you're storming into the Capitol building with zip ties, these guys had zip ties.
01:11:08.000 Right.
01:11:08.000 What are they?
01:11:09.000 Like a fucking huge bundle of them.
01:11:11.000 Well, what they're saying is that they would describe them as protesters.
01:11:14.000 Some of them, I think, were protesters who got caught up.
01:11:17.000 And you know there were some grandmas and grandpas that were like, we like Trump.
01:11:20.000 What's going on?
01:11:22.000 But there was also some people that were probably legit terrorists.
01:11:26.000 I think that guy who was with the fucking zip ties, if that guy found Nancy Pelosi and zip tied her and carried her off or maybe even executed her, I mean, that's not outside the realm of possibility with some of these fucking people.
01:11:38.000 Oh, I totally agree with you.
01:11:41.000 The thing that I find so amazing is that the fact that, and sadly, there was five people that died, but the fact that none of the government officials were killed is like a fluke.
01:11:59.000 Very lucky.
01:12:00.000 Very lucky.
01:12:01.000 If they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, they didn't anticipate that.
01:12:05.000 And they thought that, you know, they would be held off so they stayed in the Capitol building and they weren't rushed off into some fucking underground bunker or wherever they put those people.
01:12:13.000 And the wrong people got to them.
01:12:15.000 It's about the wrong people, right?
01:12:17.000 It's like, I think that a lot of them were dorks.
01:12:19.000 I don't think the guy with the Buffalo helmet, you see when he was walking around the Senate?
01:12:22.000 He's mentally up.
01:12:23.000 He's got a problem, and he's not that smart.
01:12:26.000 He thought he was like being a patriot.
01:12:29.000 I think there's a lot of them like that.
01:12:31.000 And why were they?
01:12:32.000 But the guy with the zip ties?
01:12:33.000 When I saw that, I showed that to someone.
01:12:35.000 I was like, this motherfucker has zip ties.
01:12:37.000 Why do you think he has zip ties?
01:12:39.000 That's to restrain someone.
01:12:41.000 That's because he thinks he's going to play cop, or good guy, or patriot, or executioner.
01:12:47.000 He's going to zip tie someone's hands.
01:12:49.000 They were calling for Mike Pence.
01:12:51.000 They were saying you're a fucking traitor and you were going to come for you.
01:12:54.000 I can't begin to contemplate the mindset of Mike Pence over the past five years.
01:13:05.000 I mean, it's just...
01:13:06.000 Well, he was a radio guy, right?
01:13:08.000 Well, he was also—I think he sincerely loves his wife.
01:13:14.000 I think he's sincere in his Christian faith.
01:13:17.000 But, like, I think, like—look, all politicians are politicians.
01:13:23.000 But, like, the level of decay—and, by the way, this is following up two stand-up comedians talking about the amount of shit that we've eaten— The amount of humiliation that we've consumed.
01:13:37.000 But there is a point where you're like, really?
01:13:42.000 Really?
01:13:43.000 And by the way, Mike Pence did the right thing in kind of- Well, he did the right thing in that he didn't try to reverse the vote.
01:13:50.000 Yes.
01:13:51.000 Because there was some sort of weird loophole in that, in the law.
01:13:56.000 That was being discussed as to whether or not Mike Pence can change- Throw out things.
01:14:02.000 Yes.
01:14:02.000 Which is fucking insane.
01:14:04.000 It's absolutely insane.
01:14:05.000 Imagine if Trump had a Vice Trump.
01:14:09.000 Yeah.
01:14:10.000 Well, that's what he's going to have.
01:14:11.000 Well, who the fuck would that be?
01:14:12.000 And by the way, that's part of my prediction is- Oh.
01:14:16.000 So then when Trump runs against Biden, they're both impeached.
01:14:22.000 I don't think Biden's gonna run a second time.
01:14:24.000 I think it's gonna be Pete Buttigieg and it might not even be Kamala Harris.
01:14:31.000 She might bail because she's so unliked, she might become a hazard for the Democratic Party.
01:14:36.000 If you look at her, the voter confidence.
01:14:39.000 It is weird how it shifts in a matter of three months.
01:14:45.000 Yeah.
01:14:45.000 So, I mean, Biden was pronounced dead numerous times, right?
01:14:49.000 Yeah.
01:14:49.000 And so was McCain before him.
01:14:51.000 But the Democratic Party was so firmly behind Biden that even though he was pronounced dead, like no one's going to vote for him.
01:14:57.000 It's like what they wanted was the Democrat Party in place.
01:15:01.000 They wanted to get Trump out and have the Democrats in place and restore what they felt like was order.
01:15:06.000 And so he was the best representative of that, and he's the guy who's going to play ball the most.
01:15:12.000 But I think, I mean, look, I've said this before and I'll say it again.
01:15:16.000 I think if Michelle Obama ran, she would win.
01:15:18.000 I know, but he's...
01:15:20.000 Why would she do it?
01:15:21.000 Yeah, why would she, right?
01:15:22.000 She was already the first lady.
01:15:24.000 She did eight years as the first lady.
01:15:25.000 She experienced enough fucking chaos and stress.
01:15:28.000 They made it out.
01:15:29.000 But who knows, man?
01:15:31.000 She might feel like she has a duty to the country.
01:15:36.000 She might feel like, because she could fucking win for sure.
01:15:40.000 I really firmly believe she wins.
01:15:43.000 Well, I think we also know that the Democrats have to build that Obama coalition, which is motivating African Americans.
01:15:53.000 So she could definitely do that.
01:15:56.000 Well, it's also we want a female president, right?
01:15:59.000 And to have a female president that is the wife of the greatest president of our lifetime.
01:16:04.000 And brilliant lady, charming, so easy to like, and she's given speeches before.
01:16:12.000 You trust her judgment.
01:16:13.000 You trust her judgment.
01:16:15.000 Well, it's what we need.
01:16:16.000 As a president, what we have always needed was someone who represents the very best of us.
01:16:22.000 And I think we got that with Obama.
01:16:24.000 You could say we got that with Clinton before he got his dick sucked.
01:16:27.000 You could say before he got in trouble with certain things.
01:16:31.000 But we want someone who seems better than us.
01:16:34.000 We want someone who is, when they represent the United States of America, they represent as good as what we have to offer.
01:16:43.000 That was Obama.
01:16:44.000 Obama was this brilliant lawyer.
01:16:48.000 He was so smooth, and he was so measured, and the way he would talk about things was so statesman-like, that that I mean, look, all of them people are going to have policy issues with.
01:17:01.000 All of them people are going to have issues with what we do overseas or what happens with the economy.
01:17:07.000 There's going to be disputes left and right about everything the president does.
01:17:11.000 No president is universally loved.
01:17:13.000 But...
01:17:14.000 What you can't deny is what Obama represented was about as good as America has to offer in terms of intelligence and poise and control of himself and the way he dignified the office.
01:17:28.000 He was a great statesman.
01:17:29.000 So interesting, because I totally agree, but I think that that's what you and I think.
01:17:37.000 I think that the reason Trump He came to power is probably because there were a lot of people that didn't feel that way about Obama.
01:17:49.000 Well, I don't know that.
01:17:51.000 I don't know that.
01:17:52.000 Really?
01:17:52.000 I think if Obama had another – if they said, we're going to change the rules, you can run for a third term, he would win.
01:17:57.000 Oh.
01:17:57.000 He would beat Trump.
01:17:59.000 I think Hillary Clinton is very unlikable.
01:18:01.000 I think that was part of the problem.
01:18:03.000 The part of the problem was he was running against – and he barely beat Hillary.
01:18:07.000 He lost in the popular vote.
01:18:08.000 But Hillary Clinton was just very unlikable.
01:18:11.000 Like the basket of deplorables, like saying something like that.
01:18:14.000 You're literally talking about half the country.
01:18:16.000 Like the way they would make these errors in communication based on the way they felt they were being attacked by the Assad.
01:18:25.000 Instead of trying to reach out In trying to unite everybody.
01:18:29.000 She would alienate them and try to solidify her base.
01:18:33.000 But it just makes you look petty.
01:18:35.000 And it makes everybody not...
01:18:37.000 They think of you as what he's characterizing.
01:18:41.000 Lion Hillary.
01:18:42.000 They think of you as this part of the machine.
01:18:45.000 Part of the establishment.
01:18:46.000 Do you think that Hillary was...
01:18:48.000 A victim of her exposure for decades?
01:18:54.000 Because we know she's smart.
01:18:56.000 That's a good point, right?
01:18:57.000 We know she's very smart.
01:18:58.000 By the way, when she moved to New York, and I lived in New York, and she ran for Senator, I was like, no way!
01:19:05.000 It's not going to happen!
01:19:07.000 And she won over New Yorkers.
01:19:09.000 And I'm not talking about just the city.
01:19:10.000 She won over upstate New Yorkers.
01:19:12.000 And so, like, I do think that She had been around for a couple decades and...
01:19:21.000 We're tired of her.
01:19:22.000 And she was Bill's wife.
01:19:25.000 And then there was also talk that she had intimidated women who had come forth with accusations about Bill.
01:19:31.000 So it's like...
01:19:32.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:19:33.000 I think you're right.
01:19:34.000 But I think that if she...
01:19:35.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:19:37.000 I mean, there's...
01:19:38.000 If she wasn't attached to Bill, she probably would have won.
01:19:41.000 Right?
01:19:42.000 But she almost won anyway.
01:19:43.000 You know, it's...
01:19:47.000 I think it's amazing that she lost.
01:19:49.000 I think that it's one of those things where...
01:19:55.000 And by the way, she lost college-educated white women.
01:19:59.000 What?
01:20:00.000 They didn't trust her.
01:20:03.000 I think there's a lot of people that don't trust someone who they think is a politician, and they're more willing to trust someone who is a fucking talk show host.
01:20:11.000 A guy who is a host of The Apprentice.
01:20:13.000 So why doesn't The Rock run?
01:20:14.000 Oh, he would win.
01:20:16.000 He would win.
01:20:17.000 Oh, we're that dumb.
01:20:18.000 What's that?
01:20:19.000 We're that dumb.
01:20:19.000 Yeah, he would win.
01:20:21.000 So why doesn't McConaughey run for governor of Texas?
01:20:28.000 He doesn't want to.
01:20:28.000 I think that's very smart on his part.
01:20:30.000 I think he feels like he can do more good just kind of talking to people.
01:20:34.000 And he is obviously a very intelligent guy and he's got a very interesting perspective and philosophy on life.
01:20:42.000 I enjoy talking to him.
01:20:43.000 Have you ever talked to him?
01:20:44.000 No.
01:20:44.000 He's a very smart guy.
01:20:46.000 But that's him not falling victim to his ego.
01:20:50.000 Yeah.
01:20:50.000 He was like, you know what?
01:20:51.000 I'm not going to fall into this trap.
01:20:54.000 He's smart enough to navigate this.
01:20:56.000 Good point.
01:20:56.000 He's a good guy.
01:20:57.000 I really genuinely think that.
01:20:59.000 I don't know him well, but from what I know from talking to him, I really think he's sincere, and I think he's really intelligent, and he has a very clear philosophy.
01:21:11.000 That he follows.
01:21:12.000 And he's very ethical and moral in the way he thinks about things.
01:21:17.000 And he thinks about doing the right thing.
01:21:20.000 And I think he thought maybe that would be a good framework to be a governor.
01:21:25.000 And then he stopped, I guess, and he just...
01:21:28.000 What am I doing?
01:21:29.000 What the fuck am I doing?
01:21:29.000 I'm going to make a movie.
01:21:31.000 Yeah.
01:21:32.000 I'm going to go make Interstellar 3. And do you think that...
01:21:37.000 So, we are animals.
01:21:38.000 We're absolutely animals.
01:21:40.000 Yeah, clearly.
01:21:40.000 But we're something new.
01:21:42.000 But, like, the power of...
01:21:46.000 You know, you're talking about McConaughey.
01:21:51.000 He's an attractive man, right?
01:21:54.000 Is that to his benefit?
01:21:57.000 Like, so, the reason I bring...
01:21:59.000 Michelle Obama, I think she's attractive.
01:22:02.000 Yeah.
01:22:04.000 Is that the price of entry for some of this?
01:22:06.000 Like, do we give these beautiful people a pass because we like to look at them?
01:22:11.000 I think Hillary...
01:22:12.000 Hillary's attractive.
01:22:14.000 I mean, she was.
01:22:15.000 I mean, she is.
01:22:16.000 How much did you have to drink?
01:22:18.000 No!
01:22:18.000 What's unattractive about her?
01:22:20.000 Are you trying to fuck Hillary Clinton?
01:22:21.000 You had one drink.
01:22:22.000 What's unattractive about Hillary Clinton?
01:22:25.000 The body count?
01:22:27.000 No.
01:22:28.000 Like, you know...
01:22:32.000 So, Kamala Harris is attractive.
01:22:36.000 Physically?
01:22:37.000 Yeah.
01:22:38.000 But when she laughs at everything that's not funny, it's like a shitty comic.
01:22:43.000 It's so funny.
01:22:44.000 I tried to do a joke, not about her, about how like...
01:22:49.000 About how there's nothing more rewarding than a laugh and nothing more uncomfortable than a laugh.
01:22:57.000 Than a fake laugh.
01:22:58.000 Yeah.
01:22:58.000 Yeah.
01:22:59.000 It's odd.
01:23:00.000 But like attraction, being attractive is pretty important, right?
01:23:04.000 Well, it certainly helped JFK. I think it helped Bill Clinton when he was in his prime.
01:23:08.000 It helped Obama.
01:23:10.000 Didn't help Trump.
01:23:10.000 Trump's not an attractive guy.
01:23:12.000 I mean, I find him very sexy.
01:23:15.000 Somebody must.
01:23:17.000 I think his success makes him more attractive because he's got this bigger-than-life personality.
01:23:24.000 Yeah, but I think that, I mean, I don't know.
01:23:27.000 He's got to be attractive to some people.
01:23:29.000 Somebody.
01:23:30.000 It's more his attitude than anything.
01:23:33.000 And, you know, when the guy gives those speeches and he makes fun of things and he gets big laughs, like, he's kind of being a comic.
01:23:39.000 He's got good timing.
01:23:40.000 Oh, yeah, no.
01:23:41.000 There is something that I would not deny his entertainment value.
01:23:47.000 You went on, like, a liquored up Twitter rant about him.
01:23:50.000 I was not liquored up.
01:23:51.000 I would like to think you were liquored up.
01:23:53.000 I wasn't.
01:23:54.000 I wasn't.
01:23:55.000 I wasn't.
01:23:57.000 I think that...
01:24:01.000 Look, I've talked about this.
01:24:04.000 I tried to...
01:24:05.000 But I was on the lockdown and...
01:24:10.000 I was just witnessing the Republican convention.
01:24:15.000 Look, all politicians lie.
01:24:17.000 I know that.
01:24:18.000 But there was a certain amount of...
01:24:21.000 I felt like it was...
01:24:23.000 His lies were working.
01:24:26.000 There's part of me that's like...
01:24:28.000 The Trump thing, it's like, even when Bill Clinton was talking, we all knew he was bullshitting, but it's okay.
01:24:38.000 And W, he was like, hey, doing this, doing that.
01:24:42.000 It's like, we know.
01:24:44.000 We know what's going on here.
01:24:45.000 But with Trump, there's just this allegiance.
01:24:50.000 That I was – and I was sitting with my five kids and – not sitting next to them.
01:24:57.000 But I was like, you know what?
01:24:59.000 This is not going to go well.
01:25:01.000 And I want them to know where I stand on these things.
01:25:06.000 And so – and some of it is I did treat myself because I do believe that – You know, I don't think that a comedian—I had a tweet where I was like, if you think that—if you're letting an entertainer tell you who to vote for,
01:25:23.000 you shouldn't vote.
01:25:24.000 And I do believe that.
01:25:25.000 But, like, I think that there's a lot of people, particularly during the Republican convention, there were all these, like—they brought out a nun— To say that Biden's not Catholic?
01:25:37.000 They had Lou Holtz, you know, say he's not Catholic.
01:25:42.000 Look, I'm not a good Catholic.
01:25:44.000 I'm not presenting, but I'm like, come on!
01:25:47.000 Come on.
01:25:48.000 You know what I mean?
01:25:48.000 You can sit there and debate some of this stuff about what a Catholic politician – but like compared to Trump?
01:25:58.000 Right.
01:25:59.000 Do you know what I mean?
01:25:59.000 That's what was just like, look, let's just draw this in – let me just tweet about this.
01:26:07.000 And here's what's interesting.
01:26:09.000 So – I was kind of, and I told my manager, I'm like, you know what, I don't regret it.
01:26:14.000 And I might have lost all these people.
01:26:18.000 And he's like, haha, you know, he didn't care either, really.
01:26:23.000 But then I went touring.
01:26:25.000 Not real change in numbers.
01:26:28.000 No change.
01:26:28.000 Did you really think you lost people for that?
01:26:30.000 Oh, I was convinced.
01:26:32.000 I lost, you know, these virtual corporate events.
01:26:37.000 I lost a couple things, you know, and I was like, I didn't regret it.
01:26:42.000 I mean, look, my kids are gonna...
01:26:44.000 You know, be fed.
01:26:46.000 This is a bunch of posturing after the fact.
01:26:49.000 But once the dust settles, you have so many fans.
01:26:52.000 Like, I don't think that's a real concern.
01:26:54.000 And I think also people...
01:26:56.000 Again, it's authenticity.
01:26:59.000 You know, it's like...
01:27:00.000 They know that it's really you.
01:27:02.000 This is not, like, engineered.
01:27:04.000 There's not a writer in the room with you that's working out these tweets.
01:27:08.000 It's like, there's not...
01:27:09.000 It's just a level of...
01:27:13.000 But I will say that I think this is interesting.
01:27:17.000 I was on some show.
01:27:18.000 I won't specify because I don't want to out this person.
01:27:22.000 And I was making fun of him.
01:27:25.000 I'm like, I know you're a big QAnon supporter and all this stuff.
01:27:30.000 And we were joking around about it.
01:27:32.000 And afterwards, he goes, I have to cut all that out.
01:27:35.000 And I go, why?
01:27:37.000 And he goes, because I have 24-hour security.
01:27:41.000 And I go, what do you mean you have 24-hour?
01:27:43.000 He goes, my children have security.
01:27:45.000 I have security.
01:27:46.000 This is someone in the entertainment industry that is dealing with death threats on a daily basis.
01:27:53.000 And I'm like, what?
01:27:56.000 And so, like, I was like, and this is, the guy's not making it up.
01:28:02.000 And so, like, I mean, you probably have security, right?
01:28:06.000 You met him.
01:28:06.000 Yeah, but like I think this guy's his family has it and I'm like like he's a former president or something.
01:28:16.000 And is it because of his controversial stand on certain things?
01:28:21.000 He's a funny person.
01:28:22.000 It's not...
01:28:24.000 He's not...
01:28:25.000 Did he go against Trump supporters?
01:28:27.000 Is that what it is?
01:28:28.000 You don't have to say.
01:28:29.000 Not that much.
01:28:31.000 I can't wait till this podcast be over.
01:28:33.000 Not that much.
01:28:34.000 I'll tweet it immediately.
01:28:35.000 Not that much.
01:28:37.000 But it was one of those things where that wouldn't happen.
01:28:43.000 By the way, I've gotten...
01:28:45.000 You know, definitely got some death threats from that Twitter.
01:28:49.000 By the way, how it was described as a rant, you know what?
01:28:53.000 The thing that only bothered me is that I think people, when it was characterized as I was...
01:29:02.000 I'm criticizing Trump supporters because I, you know, like that whole like you talked about deplorables and all that.
01:29:11.000 It's like I do think that like that he is a problem, but I don't think that like, you know, I know people that like Trump.
01:29:24.000 It's like, and it saddens me, but it doesn't mean that I don't think they're a good person.
01:29:29.000 Does that make sense?
01:29:30.000 It does make sense, yeah.
01:29:31.000 I think people like what he stands for, that he stands for someone who stands up against career politicians, like the ones we were talking about earlier that are, you know, using insider trading tactics to enrich themselves while they're in office.
01:29:45.000 And there's a lot of that.
01:29:46.000 And those people are responsible for a lot of the policies that are very detrimental to the average working person.
01:29:53.000 And I, you know, I think some people thought he was a solution to that.
01:29:58.000 Yeah.
01:29:58.000 And because of the fact that he wasn't a career politician and because of the fact that he talked off the cuff and he said wild shit, that that would somehow...
01:30:06.000 And he pissed off people.
01:30:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:30:08.000 Like, he doesn't piss me off.
01:30:10.000 He concerns me.
01:30:11.000 Mm-hmm.
01:30:12.000 And it's...
01:30:23.000 And he saw, goddammit, what is it?
01:30:26.000 There was a guy who was running for president.
01:30:27.000 The Dead Zone.
01:30:28.000 Thank you.
01:30:28.000 The Dead Zone.
01:30:29.000 Oh, yeah.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, and that's what everyone's terrified of.
01:30:33.000 Ego that leads to nuclear war, nuclear catastrophe.
01:30:37.000 Someone who is in the helm of, I mean, you're the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world's ever known.
01:30:44.000 Right.
01:30:45.000 And you won a popularity contest to get there.
01:30:47.000 It's kind of wild.
01:30:48.000 It's insane.
01:30:49.000 It's so insane.
01:30:50.000 But what's the alternative?
01:30:52.000 Does that concern you?
01:30:53.000 Oh, for sure.
01:30:54.000 Everything concerns me.
01:30:54.000 Does it concern you that who would you like to be the next president besides Michelle Obama?
01:31:04.000 Tulsi Gabbard.
01:31:05.000 And you'd be fine with DeSantis?
01:31:09.000 I think what he has done to allow people to continue their lives while trying to protect the elderly in Florida, although controversial and although easily criticized, I think it's admirable because it's a difficult path.
01:31:27.000 Because initially when he decided to do that early on in the pandemic, people said he was out of his fucking mind and they expected there to be a body count in Florida that was off the charts ten times more than anywhere else.
01:31:38.000 I mean, they're gonna let restaurants open and bars open.
01:31:41.000 You could do concerts there.
01:31:42.000 We did a UFC there.
01:31:43.000 We actually did, I believe we did it with no audience in April of 2020. So it was very early on, right?
01:31:49.000 It didn't turn out that way.
01:31:50.000 When you look at it, it turns out he was right.
01:31:52.000 It turns out the economy didn't collapse in Florida the way it collapsed in many other places.
01:31:56.000 It turns out, especially when you adjust it for age, the amount of people that died in Florida was less than it was in California.
01:32:05.000 Age adjusted.
01:32:06.000 When you look at the amount of cases, they're comparable to any other high population density area.
01:32:11.000 Like, you have immense populations of people that have COVID in New York.
01:32:14.000 A lot of people have COVID in California.
01:32:18.000 It's a respiratory disease.
01:32:20.000 It's gonna fuckin' spread.
01:32:22.000 What's important is early treatment.
01:32:23.000 What's important is educating people about the value of being healthy.
01:32:28.000 Taking care of yourself, and then, you know, if they're saying they're running out of hospital beds, increase the fucking hospital beds.
01:32:34.000 Like, that's what people should have concentrated on.
01:32:37.000 Make more access to medicine and health.
01:32:40.000 And don't fire healthcare workers because they don't want to get vaccinated when they've already had COVID and beaten it, and they have the antibodies.
01:32:50.000 This is crazy.
01:32:51.000 That's why you have to watch my specials, because, like...
01:32:55.000 First of all, it's great.
01:32:56.000 For sure it's great.
01:33:08.000 All you fat asses are going to die.
01:33:11.000 They didn't, they couldn't, and I talk about it, they didn't have, you know, they didn't want Sanjay Gupta to be like, well, Anderson, all the fat asses are going to die.
01:33:18.000 Right.
01:33:19.000 But because we're kind of in this, obviously comorbidities means- Meanwhile, you had COVID and you didn't even know it.
01:33:27.000 I know.
01:33:28.000 Amazing.
01:33:28.000 Because I'm so strong.
01:33:30.000 You know, a lot of this fat is muscle.
01:33:33.000 It's- I lost all this weight during the lockdown.
01:33:37.000 And then I, you know, gained it back in maybe a half an hour.
01:33:40.000 How much weight did you lose in the lockdown?
01:33:42.000 I lost probably 25 pounds.
01:33:44.000 You know, because I texted with you and you're like, cut out bread, cut out sugar.
01:33:49.000 And I did.
01:33:51.000 Was it hard to do?
01:33:52.000 It wasn't that bad.
01:33:54.000 It wasn't that bad.
01:33:56.000 Now I'm kind of like trying to make up for it, I guess.
01:34:00.000 No, but I definitely felt a lot better.
01:34:04.000 It's like you cut out sugar and you cut out bread and it's like your knees bend.
01:34:09.000 Yes.
01:34:09.000 It's inflammation.
01:34:10.000 Yeah.
01:34:11.000 That's the thing.
01:34:12.000 Like, one of the things that happens to me when I, if I go on a bender, and I'll eat, like, a lot of pasta, which is my thing, that's where I gorge.
01:34:20.000 Oh, my God.
01:34:21.000 Pasta is so good.
01:34:22.000 It's so good.
01:34:23.000 And I'll eat, like, multiple servings.
01:34:25.000 Yeah.
01:34:26.000 Like, if it's for three or four people, I'll eat that, all that.
01:34:29.000 Oh, yeah.
01:34:29.000 There's a restaurant in Philadelphia I need you to go to.
01:34:32.000 Ooh.
01:34:33.000 What is it?
01:34:34.000 It's on my Instagram.
01:34:40.000 He has Feralina.
01:34:43.000 If you're a pasta guy, I'm not kidding.
01:34:47.000 It's my kryptonite.
01:34:49.000 It'll change your life.
01:34:51.000 I'm sure.
01:34:51.000 It'll change your life.
01:34:52.000 That's my kryptonite.
01:34:54.000 But then the next day you won't be able to walk.
01:34:56.000 Yeah, that's the thing.
01:34:57.000 My knees hurt the next day.
01:34:58.000 When I eat a lot of pasta, like my fucking knees will hurt.
01:35:02.000 My lower back will hurt.
01:35:03.000 And it's inflammation.
01:35:04.000 I talked to my doctor about it.
01:35:05.000 He goes, that is inflammation causing food.
01:35:07.000 And that's what that means.
01:35:09.000 It's like literally causes inflammation in your joints, inflammation in your body.
01:35:14.000 And it's the source of a lot of diseases and a lot of the illnesses that people have.
01:35:19.000 It's because of inflammation.
01:35:20.000 Did previous generations deal with this inflammation too?
01:35:25.000 Don't.
01:35:25.000 First of all, processed sugar really has not been a thing in the human race until the beginning of the 19th century, I think.
01:35:34.000 When they started eating sugary candies and stuff?
01:35:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:35:39.000 No, I remember that was a big thing with the British.
01:35:42.000 They brought sugar back and everyone's teeth fell out.
01:35:45.000 Yeah.
01:35:46.000 And then the wheat that we have has more complex glutens in it.
01:35:52.000 They've manipulated the wheat for higher yield per acre.
01:35:56.000 So you're getting this like dense wheat.
01:35:59.000 If you're eating glue, you're basically...
01:36:01.000 Remember when you used to make paste when you were a kid?
01:36:03.000 You're like shoveling that in your face.
01:36:04.000 I mean, it's delicious, amazing paste.
01:36:08.000 Yeah, but that's what you're eating.
01:36:09.000 You're eating like a fucking wad of dough.
01:36:12.000 And it sits in the bottom of your stomach when it mixes with wine and food.
01:36:16.000 How does Tom Papa make all that bread and still be kind of thin?
01:36:20.000 Well, here's an interesting thing.
01:36:21.000 Tom Papa's bread is made with a starter, and it is a sourdough starter, and sourdough bread, in general, has less gluten than regular bread.
01:36:34.000 Oh, really?
01:36:34.000 Yeah, because that is the best bread you can have.
01:36:36.000 It's organic.
01:36:37.000 He makes it himself.
01:36:38.000 You know the source.
01:36:39.000 He literally has this old starter.
01:36:41.000 I think it's from the 1930s, the actual yeast starter.
01:36:46.000 I don't exactly understand how he does it.
01:36:49.000 He's explaining to me, I forgot.
01:36:51.000 You've had his bread.
01:36:52.000 I haven't had his bread.
01:36:54.000 Well, I live in New York.
01:36:56.000 Oh, my God.
01:36:57.000 He should freeze some and send it to you.
01:36:58.000 It's fucking sensational.
01:37:00.000 Really?
01:37:00.000 Yeah.
01:37:01.000 When you come to L.A., you must go and have his bread.
01:37:03.000 I have fantasies about bread.
01:37:06.000 With grass-fed, grass-finished butter, which is like a dark yellow, like a yellowy butter.
01:37:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:37:11.000 Looks like urine.
01:37:12.000 Oh, my God.
01:37:12.000 You spread that all over that bread.
01:37:17.000 It's such good bread.
01:37:19.000 Tom Papa and I have an exchange.
01:37:20.000 Yeah.
01:37:21.000 I give him a little meat.
01:37:22.000 You give him the meat.
01:37:22.000 He gives me some bread.
01:37:23.000 We're good to go.
01:37:25.000 That's similar.
01:37:26.000 He gives me bread, I give him AIDS. Jim, that's not funny.
01:37:32.000 No, it's funny though.
01:37:34.000 It's funny now.
01:37:35.000 Okay, here it is.
01:37:37.000 In 510 BC, the Emperor Darius of Persia invaded India where he found...
01:37:42.000 That's Darius Rucker, who was in...
01:37:45.000 Who do you boat fish?
01:37:46.000 Nice guy, by the way.
01:37:48.000 The reed which gives honey without bees.
01:37:51.000 The secret of cane sugar was kept a closely guarded secret whilst the finished product was exported.
01:38:00.000 Interesting.
01:38:00.000 So that's when they first figured out sugar cane?
01:38:03.000 Yeah, and then all the way back then until 1747, it says, until sugar beet was a new source of sugar.
01:38:11.000 And that's when Britain...
01:38:13.000 Okay, and then Britain blockaded sugar imports to continental Europe.
01:38:17.000 By 1880, sugar beet had replaced sugar cane as the main source of sugar in continental Europe.
01:38:23.000 But it still wasn't like corn syrup, like where it was prevalent.
01:38:28.000 Yeah, another thing said 1770 in Britain is when they started eating like five times the amount of sugar they'd eaten in like the previous 1710. Ah, so that's when it started.
01:38:38.000 So it was the 18th century.
01:38:40.000 What about how like...
01:38:43.000 I know you read this book.
01:38:45.000 That's crazy.
01:38:45.000 Look at that statistic.
01:38:46.000 During the 18th century, sugar became enormously popular.
01:38:50.000 Great Britain, for example, consumed five times as much sugar in 1770 as in 1710. Wow.
01:38:56.000 That's nuts.
01:38:58.000 That's probably, yeah, when their teeth started falling out and also started getting fat.
01:39:03.000 You know, I did this movie for Peter Pan where I played a pirate and I did all this research on pirates.
01:39:12.000 Do you know that the British Navy...
01:39:17.000 It essentially was assembled by – it was a success of pirates that was instrumental because they had this war with the Spanish and they were like – there were these pirates and they're like, hey, you can free reign if you attack the Spanish.
01:39:33.000 And so they essentially – it was – It was essentially a bunch of criminals.
01:39:38.000 Wow.
01:39:39.000 And then they absorbed some of the pirates.
01:39:43.000 They're like, all right, now you can be the general and you can go back to England and they gave part of Jamaica to another pirate.
01:39:52.000 It's like...
01:39:53.000 The British Navy, this great military power, was essentially like, you know, criminals.
01:40:00.000 It kind of makes sense, though, if you think about all these different civilizations throughout history that were run by tyrants and evil warmongers.
01:40:08.000 Like, how about the Mongols?
01:40:10.000 I was just listening today to this person who was talking about – and this is kind of funny because Dan Carlin's actually kind of joked about people saying these things before.
01:40:19.000 Dan Carr was the host of Hardcore History.
01:40:21.000 It's an amazing podcast.
01:40:23.000 What this guy was talking about was how the Mongol Empire, it paved the way to a lot of great things with trading, with Asia, and all these different things.
01:40:38.000 And he sort of was...
01:40:40.000 Waxing poetically about the impact of a group of people in the Mongols run by Genghis Khan that killed between 50 and 70 million people in his lifetime.
01:40:51.000 He killed somewhere around 10% of the population of Earth.
01:40:55.000 So much so, he reduced the carbon footprint on planet Earth.
01:41:00.000 Because there's less people.
01:41:01.000 Well, did you ever hear about, maybe I listened to it on his thing, where he would, they would eat meals on top of people?
01:41:11.000 They would stack people below their deck, and so they would crush them to death while they're eating meals.
01:41:18.000 Why?
01:41:18.000 And he could hear them groan.
01:41:21.000 Vlad Tepes, who is the inspiration for Dracula, for Bram Stoker's Dracula, he would put his enemies on stakes in front of him.
01:41:31.000 So he would plant a stake in the ground and have a sharp point and impale them.
01:41:37.000 And so they would wither around while he was eating.
01:41:40.000 So he'd be eating lunch in front of them.
01:41:42.000 And isn't Genghis Khan like a percentage of all Asians that are related to him?
01:41:49.000 Yeah.
01:41:49.000 Let's find out what that percentage is.
01:41:51.000 It's like a pretty severe amount.
01:41:53.000 He did a lot of fucking.
01:41:55.000 Well, you could say he did a lot of raping, because that would be more accurate.
01:41:58.000 Yeah, and I think he also took over the army when he was like 14. It's like insane.
01:42:05.000 He was quite young when he killed his first people.
01:42:08.000 Since 2003, a study found evidence that Genghis Khan's DNA is present in about 16 million men alive today.
01:42:15.000 I thought it was more than that.
01:42:16.000 The Mongolian ruler's genetic prowess has stood as an unparalleled accomplishment.
01:42:22.000 Oh, one in 200 men.
01:42:24.000 10%.
01:42:25.000 Look at that.
01:42:25.000 In quantitative terms, 10% of the men who reside within the borders of the Mongol Empire as it was at the death of Genghis Khan may carry his DNA. Yeah.
01:42:34.000 So that is, I think that's Asia.
01:42:38.000 I think that's into Europe.
01:42:39.000 One in 200 men are, scroll back up, one in 200 men are direct descendants of Genghis Khan.
01:42:50.000 That's wild.
01:42:51.000 And if he was here right now, he'd be like, it's pronounced Jengis.
01:42:54.000 Yeah.
01:42:54.000 Jengis, yeah.
01:42:56.000 Well, his name was Temujin.
01:42:57.000 That was his real name.
01:42:59.000 And so he was...
01:43:00.000 And so, like, I had a joke about this in Pale Taurus.
01:43:04.000 It's like, those Mongols were, like, killing it.
01:43:09.000 And now they're like, you know what, we'll just open some buffets.
01:43:12.000 Like, they...
01:43:14.000 How do you like fall off the horse like that?
01:43:18.000 So China and India are probably going to take over, right?
01:43:22.000 Most likely China.
01:43:24.000 China seems to have a very unique situation where their government and their businesses are inexorably intertwined.
01:43:32.000 They're not like any other place on earth.
01:43:34.000 Whereas the government and the business don't do anything without the government's supervision.
01:43:40.000 And when the businesses step out of line, they vanish people.
01:43:43.000 They take billionaires and they lock them in dungeons and who knows what the fuck they do to them.
01:43:47.000 But when people get mouthy, they talk shit, they vanish them.
01:43:52.000 Whether they're a billionaire or a famous actor or an athlete.
01:43:55.000 Tennis player.
01:43:56.000 Yeah, or a Uyghur Muslim.
01:43:58.000 I mean, whatever they do.
01:43:59.000 That tennis player, have they ever found her?
01:44:02.000 Yeah, I think she came out and she said, I misspoke.
01:44:06.000 No, there was a printed release.
01:44:09.000 I don't know if they've ever seen her in public.
01:44:11.000 The same as Jack Ma.
01:44:13.000 You know, Jack Ma is the CEO of Alibaba.
01:44:16.000 Is he gone?
01:44:16.000 Well, he was gone for many months.
01:44:18.000 And then he came back and like, he looks a little shell-shocked.
01:44:22.000 I mean, I don't know what the fuck they did to him.
01:44:24.000 They kept him in a cage.
01:44:26.000 Whether they tortured him, whether they just scared the fuck out of him, whether they put him in exile and just made him have an adjustment of his attitude.
01:44:34.000 But they don't play games.
01:44:36.000 It's a completely different kind of government.
01:44:38.000 Is the expectation that...
01:44:40.000 Wouldn't you think that corruption would lead to...
01:44:46.000 You know, like we started this conversation about ego.
01:44:49.000 Yeah.
01:44:50.000 And you're managing the wouldn't...
01:44:55.000 The Chinese leadership, corruption, you know, it's human beings.
01:44:59.000 You would think so, but I don't know if it's corruption in their sense, because they seem to have this dedication to the CCP, right?
01:45:07.000 And the CCP kind of runs everything.
01:45:09.000 And I don't know if you would call it corruption, if they're intertwined, like the way they think of business is like business and government, that the business serves government.
01:45:21.000 Yeah, they did it really quick.
01:45:22.000 And then not only that, they're doing it in all these other countries where they're giving them loans that they know they can never take back or they never pay back, rather, and then they control these natural resources.
01:45:33.000 Well, and also, aren't they doing, hey, we're going to build you this power plant.
01:45:36.000 They're like, great.
01:45:37.000 Exactly.
01:45:37.000 We're going to bring in 500,000 people.
01:45:40.000 And so, but wouldn't corruption, again, people get greedy.
01:45:47.000 When people get greedy, they kill them.
01:45:50.000 They don't have a system like...
01:45:52.000 Have you ever heard this?
01:45:52.000 Nancy Pelosi would be dead as fuck if she was over there.
01:45:55.000 They would have killed her a long time ago.
01:45:58.000 Have you...
01:45:59.000 But, like, I mean...
01:46:01.000 Unless she was serving the big businesses and serving the Chinese Communist Party.
01:46:06.000 If she was a part of their system over there and she sort of exhibited the kind of arrogance that you've seen her exhibit as a person who's the Speaker of the House in America, it's like it's a different world over there.
01:46:20.000 When they have a dedication to the Chinese Communist Party, that's what their dedication is.
01:46:25.000 Well, is it that or some people believe that it's revenge for the opium wars?
01:46:32.000 What is revenge for the opium wars?
01:46:34.000 That the Chinese, you know what the British did with the opium warms.
01:46:41.000 The British essentially went in.
01:46:43.000 They tried to take over China.
01:46:44.000 China was like, no thanks.
01:46:45.000 And the British were like, okay, here's some free opium.
01:46:50.000 And pull that up.
01:46:52.000 It's like, it's a dark history.
01:46:55.000 How long ago did they do that?
01:46:57.000 That was, I mean, it's like...
01:47:00.000 1600s.
01:47:01.000 The opium wars were two conflicts fought in China in the mid-19th century between the western countries of the...
01:47:07.000 How do you say that word?
01:47:08.000 I can't even know where...
01:47:10.000 Q-I-N-G dynasty?
01:47:11.000 Qing.
01:47:12.000 Qing, maybe.
01:47:14.000 Right, Qing, maybe.
01:47:15.000 Which ruled China from 1644 to 1911, 1912. Essentially, how I understand it is these European powers were trying to take over China, and there was some resistance.
01:47:27.000 So what they did is they essentially got them all addicted to opium.
01:47:31.000 And they lost a generation or two.
01:47:35.000 And so that's the fentanyl kind of creeping in.
01:47:42.000 It's a very paranoid thing, but that's...
01:47:46.000 Some revenge.
01:47:47.000 Well, even if it's not revenge, it seems like a good strategy for corrupting a population.
01:47:53.000 It's also, you know, if you have this great power that had to, you know, I mean, what a cruel thing to do.
01:48:04.000 I mean, slavery is insane.
01:48:06.000 It's just a strategy for war, though.
01:48:08.000 Is it more cruel to drop a nuclear bomb on people?
01:48:11.000 At least with opium, you give them the ability to make a decision for themselves.
01:48:15.000 Hmm.
01:48:16.000 Yeah, it is.
01:48:18.000 I mean, that's probably what they're doing with us with TikTok.
01:48:20.000 TikTok?
01:48:21.000 You think that?
01:48:22.000 Yeah, they've released TikTok.
01:48:22.000 It's like a plague.
01:48:24.000 I wonder.
01:48:24.000 All these fucking kids are just...
01:48:26.000 Are your kids TikTok-ing at all?
01:48:27.000 Oh, yeah.
01:48:28.000 Mine do.
01:48:29.000 They added it to Teslas.
01:48:30.000 TikTok?
01:48:31.000 It's built into Tesla now.
01:48:31.000 Oh, Elon.
01:48:32.000 What have you done, Elon?
01:48:34.000 I've defended you up until now!
01:48:37.000 I don't play games in my fucking Tesla.
01:48:39.000 I just drive it.
01:48:41.000 So there's TikTok in Tesla?
01:48:43.000 I guess if you don't have to drive, right?
01:48:45.000 Chess is in Tesla, too.
01:48:46.000 How about talking about the good things?
01:48:49.000 You can make a fart when you make a turn.
01:48:53.000 So, what is going to happen with – is Tesla going to take over – like, in 10 years, is Elon Musk going to be in business?
01:49:10.000 Or is he going to be?
01:49:11.000 Good question.
01:49:13.000 I mean, I think Tesla's going to be in business in 10 years.
01:49:15.000 I mean, it's the biggest car manufacturer in the United States right now, right?
01:49:19.000 Isn't it?
01:49:19.000 I don't know.
01:49:20.000 I mean, I know it's worth more.
01:49:22.000 I think they manufacture more and sell more Teslas than any other American brand.
01:49:28.000 See if that's true.
01:49:30.000 Is that true?
01:49:31.000 No?
01:49:32.000 No.
01:49:34.000 What's that?
01:49:35.000 I'm pretty sure Ford F-150 is the top selling car.
01:49:37.000 Ford F-150 was the top selling car?
01:49:38.000 Well, let's find out.
01:49:40.000 Don't just guess.
01:49:41.000 Don't just guess.
01:49:42.000 But as a company, I think Tesla, the company, sells more cars than any other American car manufacturer.
01:49:50.000 I'm pretty sure of that.
01:49:52.000 Or I read an article that was a lie.
01:49:55.000 That could be happening.
01:49:57.000 Could be propaganda.
01:49:58.000 Do you have a Tesla?
01:49:59.000 I don't.
01:50:00.000 Do you have a driven one?
01:50:01.000 I've been in one.
01:50:02.000 They're pretty spectacular.
01:50:04.000 They're next level.
01:50:06.000 Spaceship.
01:50:07.000 For the last three years, they've averaged 900,000 per year for F-150s.
01:50:12.000 I don't think they sell that many Teslas.
01:50:14.000 Well, why don't you Google it instead of thinking?
01:50:16.000 I mean, you know, the F-150 is fascinating.
01:50:19.000 I had jokes about the pickup truck.
01:50:21.000 Like, when we were kids, pickup trucks were kind of popular, but now it is the embodiment of one's personality, right?
01:50:30.000 Okay.
01:50:31.000 Q3, they just made their two millionth car.
01:50:34.000 Whoa.
01:50:34.000 I believe that's for all of their sexy life.
01:50:36.000 They sold two million electric cars ever?
01:50:38.000 They're expensive.
01:50:38.000 First automaker to reach two million?
01:50:41.000 What does that say?
01:50:42.000 Click on that?
01:50:43.000 Inside EVs?
01:50:44.000 Is that electric cars?
01:50:46.000 First automaker to reach the milestone.
01:50:48.000 Soon the production sales volume will reach one million per year.
01:50:52.000 So they sell more man.
01:50:53.000 Thank you.
01:50:55.000 I'm so glad I was right.
01:50:56.000 Okay, sure.
01:50:57.000 Am I wrong?
01:51:00.000 That's Tesla versus one Ford car.
01:51:03.000 Yeah.
01:51:04.000 Right, right.
01:51:04.000 The F-150.
01:51:05.000 How much does the F-150 sell?
01:51:06.000 $900,000 per year.
01:51:08.000 Right, but you know that Ford is actually, they're going to stop production of almost everything except the F-150 and the Mustang, which is pretty crazy.
01:51:14.000 I just was saying.
01:51:15.000 Yeah, no, but like the F-150 and the Mustang together is more than Tesla.
01:51:21.000 I wonder.
01:51:21.000 And then if you add in...
01:51:24.000 Ford Escorts, you know, and then there's Cadillac, Escalades.
01:51:27.000 So that two million milestone, they're the first company that sells two million electric cars.
01:51:32.000 So that's the milestone, is that they're the first company to sell that many electric cars.
01:51:37.000 So like every year...
01:51:40.000 By the way, there's no cars available to buy, right?
01:51:43.000 No, it's nuts.
01:51:44.000 That's crazy.
01:51:45.000 The chip shortage thing is fucking spooky.
01:51:47.000 Because, like, you guys didn't see that coming?
01:51:49.000 You just thought you could just buy chips from China and they would be cool just selling them to you?
01:51:53.000 Because humans are dumb.
01:51:55.000 2020, the amount of autos and light trucks sold in the U.S. dipped to around 14.5 million units.
01:52:00.000 I guess that's for all cars.
01:52:01.000 Right, of course.
01:52:02.000 All companies.
01:52:03.000 Ford Motor Company's vehicles in the U.S. between 2015 to...
01:52:07.000 Well, it doesn't say.
01:52:07.000 It doesn't say.
01:52:09.000 But like...
01:52:10.000 Oh, it does right there.
01:52:14.000 599,000 units to around 539,000 units.
01:52:18.000 That's counter to the 900,000 I just saw.
01:52:21.000 Yeah.
01:52:21.000 Who knows?
01:52:24.000 Why don't you Google...
01:52:26.000 Google when China's gonna invade Taiwan.
01:52:28.000 Who sells the most cars.
01:52:30.000 I predict that China...
01:52:31.000 Oh.
01:52:32.000 Because you know China's gonna take over Taiwan.
01:52:34.000 When's that gonna happen?
01:52:35.000 It seems like it's already happening, and it seems like...
01:52:38.000 Well, they quietly took over Hong Kong during the pandemic, where they locked down all freedom of the press, and they started arresting activists, and they started doing things that no one protested about, and they just...
01:52:51.000 Oh, okay, we're going to keep doing this.
01:52:52.000 You know, I love performing in China, so I don't want to...
01:52:55.000 Do you?
01:52:55.000 Too late.
01:52:56.000 Yeah.
01:52:56.000 Go over there right now, brother.
01:52:58.000 Tap your phone.
01:52:59.000 You're going to be in trouble.
01:53:00.000 After you do this podcast.
01:53:01.000 It's fascinating, culturally.
01:53:02.000 But I think...
01:53:04.000 You're just standing over there?
01:53:05.000 Yeah.
01:53:05.000 What's it like?
01:53:07.000 Well, I'm performing for XPath, but there are people that have lived in the US and have gone back there.
01:53:15.000 But I would say that my prediction is after the Beijing Winter Olympics, that's when China's going to be like, all right, we're going to take Taiwan.
01:53:28.000 You think so?
01:53:29.000 Well...
01:53:31.000 I thought that Russia and – this is all just – by the way, I talk about food in my act.
01:53:40.000 It's also Putin wants Ukraine.
01:53:44.000 By the way, I performed in Moscow.
01:53:46.000 There's a subway station in Moscow.
01:53:49.000 The subway stations in Moscow are so beautiful because they wanted to celebrate the working people.
01:53:58.000 So like the subway stations are really nice.
01:54:00.000 And one of the subway stations is all Ukraine.
01:54:05.000 So when we say Russia giving up the independence, it's kind of messy.
01:54:16.000 Crimea, historically, there's a lot of...
01:54:20.000 Would it be like if Texas tried to secede?
01:54:22.000 Oh, that's their subway station?
01:54:25.000 Yeah, it's no joke.
01:54:26.000 Wow, that's fucking beautiful.
01:54:27.000 And so there is one that is all dedicated to Ukraine.
01:54:35.000 They have such specific architecture, right?
01:54:39.000 Like, if you look at Moscow, and you look at the architecture, it's so clear that it's Russian architecture.
01:54:46.000 Well, there's, you know, a lot of it was destroyed, I think.
01:54:50.000 I mean, by the way, like, performing in Warsaw, so weird.
01:54:55.000 Yeah?
01:54:56.000 Like, Warsaw was completely leveled, and they rebuilt it from photographs, right?
01:55:03.000 So you're like, you're walking through and you're like, oh look, this church, Poland, so fascinating.
01:55:11.000 Like there's different museums in Warsaw and it's like, what do you want to cry about?
01:55:17.000 Because it's like, there's one that's all about the Polish Jews, like at the start of World War II, one in six Polish citizens was Jewish.
01:55:28.000 It's like, you're like, one in six?
01:55:30.000 And now there's like, 2000?
01:55:35.000 Whoa.
01:55:36.000 And there was like 30 million people.
01:55:38.000 And one in six was Jewish.
01:55:41.000 Wow.
01:55:41.000 And so, I mean, I'm getting all the numbers wrong, but...
01:55:44.000 And then there's just like...
01:55:45.000 Jesus Christ, look at that.
01:55:46.000 Yes.
01:55:47.000 So Warsaw was...
01:55:49.000 Like, there's a story of like when...
01:55:54.000 When the Polish rose up in Warsaw to take down the Nazis, the Russians were on the other side of the river.
01:56:03.000 And they said, they're like, hey, come on in, help us.
01:56:07.000 We're fighting the Germans.
01:56:09.000 And the Russians were like, we'll wait.
01:56:11.000 And so they let the Polish fight the Germans.
01:56:15.000 The Polish finally took over.
01:56:17.000 Then the Russians came in, took over the Polish.
01:56:19.000 The Polish history is insane.
01:56:23.000 Oh.
01:56:24.000 Like just devastating.
01:56:26.000 Look how flattened that place was.
01:56:28.000 And when the Germans left, they leveled everything.
01:56:33.000 Like they knew they were going to lose.
01:56:35.000 They just, just to screw over the Poles.
01:56:38.000 And it's like the Polish people have been dealing with this...
01:56:43.000 For generations.
01:56:44.000 And this is, you know, within the last hundred years or so.
01:56:48.000 That's what's fucked about history.
01:56:49.000 It's like, that's a blip.
01:56:51.000 It's crazy.
01:56:51.000 It's a tiny blip.
01:56:52.000 It's crazy.
01:56:54.000 One of the things in Dan Carlin's hardcore history, and again, this is in the 1200s, right, when Genghis Khan was alive, he talked about the Chorismian Shah who went to visit Jin China because they were trying to see, like, you know, should we visit Do they invade these people?
01:57:09.000 Do they have anything to steal?
01:57:10.000 What are we going to do over there?
01:57:11.000 And as they went down the path, they thought what they saw in the distance was a snow-covered mountain.
01:57:19.000 And as they got closer, they realized it was a stack of bones.
01:57:23.000 That was so high.
01:57:24.000 There was a million dead people stacked on top of each other.
01:57:28.000 They had abandoned the roads because the roads were so filled with decaying human bodies that the roads had deteriorated into mud and you couldn't- Where is this?
01:57:38.000 This was in Jin, China.
01:57:40.000 You couldn't traverse the roads.
01:57:43.000 You couldn't make it through and people were dying just from sickness, from the stench of the rotting bodies and the bacteria that was in the air.
01:57:51.000 But the fact that there were so many dead bodies that they mistook a pile of them as a mountain with snow-covered peaks.
01:58:00.000 And then as they got closer, they realized, oh my god, that's a stack of bodies.
01:58:04.000 Over a million dead people.
01:58:07.000 Unbelievable.
01:58:08.000 Just stacked on top of each other.
01:58:09.000 And they did that with fucking bows and arrows and swords.
01:58:11.000 Well, by the way, it's like Caesar killed millions of Caesar, who everyone's like, Caesar, I love going to- Little Caesars.
01:58:19.000 It's a nice restaurant.
01:58:20.000 It's like, SPQR, I love that!
01:58:24.000 It's like, murdered tons of people.
01:58:28.000 He has this whole series on, I think it was all about- Caesar's Holocaust or whatever?
01:58:37.000 Because he killed millions of Gauls.
01:58:39.000 Meanwhile, he's got a salad.
01:58:41.000 Yeah.
01:58:41.000 Imagine if there was a Hitler salad.
01:58:43.000 Yes.
01:58:44.000 Well, you know, the Caesar salad invented in Tijuana.
01:58:49.000 Really?
01:58:49.000 There was an Italian...
01:58:51.000 I actually ate at the restaurant.
01:58:53.000 No kidding.
01:58:54.000 There was an Italian...
01:58:57.000 I think it's a Mexican guy.
01:59:00.000 Tijuana salad invented in...
01:59:03.000 A Mexican guy in Tijuana who invented...
01:59:07.000 It's a famous restaurant in a hotel in Tijuana.
01:59:10.000 That's interesting.
01:59:12.000 Well, the fact they figured out to put anchovies on it.
01:59:15.000 Yeah.
01:59:15.000 Such a bold move.
01:59:16.000 Yeah.
01:59:16.000 It's so delicious.
01:59:17.000 So good.
01:59:18.000 So good.
01:59:19.000 So good.
01:59:20.000 So good.
01:59:21.000 Right?
01:59:22.000 And it's probably so bad for you, right?
01:59:24.000 I don't know.
01:59:25.000 I am a gigantic fan of Mexican food, period.
01:59:27.000 Oh my gosh.
01:59:28.000 I fucking love Mexican food.
01:59:29.000 Why is, like, American food's okay, but, like, Mexican food is, it's life-changing.
01:59:37.000 Spice.
01:59:38.000 There's a lot of spice, like a good carne asada burrito.
01:59:41.000 Oh my God, with guacamole and, oh, and the diced onions.
01:59:46.000 There's different peppers in different regions.
01:59:49.000 Yes.
01:59:50.000 So fascinating.
01:59:51.000 Yeah, no, I'm a giant.
01:59:52.000 I'm so proud to be Mexican.
01:59:55.000 How funny is that Louis C.K.'s Mexican?
01:59:57.000 Oh, it's amazing.
01:59:58.000 Like, legitimately.
01:59:59.000 Born in Mexico.
02:00:00.000 Yeah.
02:00:01.000 Well, you know, like, the whole...
02:00:02.000 I mean, Mexico has a pretty sordid history, too.
02:00:06.000 Crazy history.
02:00:07.000 Like, they had...
02:00:09.000 There was, like, you know, what we did to the Native Americans, they did to their Native people.
02:00:16.000 They did them dirty, too.
02:00:18.000 Well, what we need to recognize also is, like, how did they come to speak Spanish in the first place?
02:00:26.000 They came to speak Spanish in the first place because of European settlers came by and just destroyed their fucking country.
02:00:32.000 And the only reason they could do that is European diseases.
02:00:36.000 Yes.
02:00:37.000 I mean, they were going to get their ass kicked.
02:00:40.000 They were going to get their ass kicked, and people just started getting...
02:00:45.000 The cold.
02:00:45.000 But there was also some real confusion.
02:00:47.000 Like when Cortez and his people showed up on horses, they thought they were gods.
02:00:52.000 Yeah.
02:00:52.000 Like, what are they doing riding a horse?
02:00:55.000 This is crazy.
02:00:55.000 Yeah.
02:00:56.000 Like, that's what's really wild.
02:00:58.000 Like, the Mayans didn't ride horses.
02:01:00.000 Like, they had built that kind of an empire without riding horses.
02:01:04.000 And, well, it's like...
02:01:05.000 But also, like...
02:01:06.000 I mean, from Mexico, we got tomatoes, corn...
02:01:14.000 And then there's some third thing.
02:01:16.000 Oh, chocolate.
02:01:17.000 It's like, it's insane.
02:01:19.000 Like everything that...
02:01:22.000 The reason I'm fat...
02:01:24.000 It comes from Mexico.
02:01:27.000 I wonder if the old corn, the kind of corn you hang on your door for Thanksgiving, that bullshit corn, I wonder if that's better for you.
02:01:37.000 Have you ever had that corn?
02:01:38.000 Oh, I'm sure it is.
02:01:39.000 By the way, I did a show in Bogota.
02:01:44.000 Damn, you travel everywhere.
02:01:46.000 I love internet.
02:01:47.000 Well, I did this pale tourist special where I was going to do Latin America.
02:01:52.000 I was in right when the pandemic hit.
02:01:55.000 But the vegetables, like, have you seen corn in South America?
02:01:59.000 No.
02:02:00.000 It is like, a kernel is like the size of this.
02:02:03.000 Really?
02:02:03.000 I'm exaggerating.
02:02:04.000 But if we pull some of the images up of...
02:02:10.000 Have you ever been to a country and you're like, we're kind of used to it?
02:02:14.000 Growing up, I didn't know what hummus was, but you go to certain countries and you're like, oh, this fruit.
02:02:20.000 There's fruit that we don't know of.
02:02:22.000 Oh, yeah, like durian?
02:02:24.000 Yeah, which is disgusting.
02:02:27.000 It smells like...
02:02:28.000 Yeah, but there's some kernels...
02:02:32.000 Colombian corn.
02:02:33.000 That looks like regular corn.
02:02:34.000 No, but look at the size of those kernels.
02:02:36.000 They're pretty fat.
02:02:37.000 Right?
02:02:38.000 Yeah.
02:02:39.000 But I would think that American corn would be fatter because of genetic modifications, right?
02:02:45.000 But I think it's also...
02:02:46.000 That's pretty fat.
02:02:47.000 I think it's...
02:02:48.000 I would imagine that it's the speed...
02:02:50.000 That's impressive.
02:02:51.000 It's probably the speed of growing that we're after.
02:02:55.000 Right.
02:02:55.000 And we probably want to get to the point right away and then we get quick growing...
02:03:01.000 Do you know why carrots are orange?
02:03:04.000 Carrotin?
02:03:06.000 No.
02:03:06.000 Carrots are not originally orange.
02:03:08.000 They were changed to orange to honor the king of the Netherlands, William of Orange.
02:03:16.000 Really?
02:03:17.000 Yes.
02:03:18.000 William of Orange?
02:03:19.000 Yes.
02:03:19.000 How the fuck did they do that?
02:03:21.000 I don't know.
02:03:22.000 Because I've had carrots before.
02:03:23.000 By the way, Brussels sprouts were invented in Brussels.
02:03:26.000 They were invented?
02:03:27.000 Yes.
02:03:27.000 Somebody invented Brussels sprouts?
02:03:29.000 I think there's...
02:03:31.000 This is where I'm like complete...
02:03:34.000 These are all things that are in my head that I think are true.
02:03:38.000 The Brussels sprouts thing is interesting.
02:03:39.000 But like the carrots, look up carrots.
02:03:41.000 You know how you get carrots and you're like, oh, purple carrot.
02:03:44.000 I think they all used to be purple.
02:03:45.000 Really?
02:03:46.000 Is this true?
02:03:48.000 Yes, but I don't see the reasoning for it being as like a present or an homage to anyone.
02:03:56.000 I've had white carrots before.
02:03:57.000 But it does say something.
02:03:58.000 16th century Dutch carrots being purple.
02:04:03.000 A tribute to the emblem of the House of Orange and the struggle for Dutch independence.
02:04:08.000 I wonder how they did it.
02:04:10.000 I mean, if you either have orange carrots or you don't, how do you make them orange?
02:04:16.000 Every farmer collects seeds, right?
02:04:20.000 So it's like, wow, this crop grew really well.
02:04:25.000 This is a stronger seed.
02:04:26.000 I'm going to plant this seed rather than these didn't do that well.
02:04:31.000 I'm not going to save these seeds.
02:04:33.000 Carrot bonus facts.
02:04:35.000 Oh, here we go.
02:04:36.000 It's actually possible to turn your skin a shade of orange by massively overconsuming orange carrots.
02:04:42.000 I know that.
02:04:42.000 Andy Dick did that.
02:04:43.000 I watched it happen.
02:04:44.000 Orange carrots get their bright orange color from beta-carotene.
02:04:48.000 Beta-carotene metabolizes in the human gut and bile salts into vitamin A. The origins of the cultivated carrot is rooted in the purple carrot in the region around modern-day Afghanistan.
02:04:59.000 Wow.
02:05:00.000 The purple carrot comes from fucking Afghanistan?
02:05:16.000 Wow!
02:05:18.000 Wow!
02:05:25.000 For instance, how do you say that guy?
02:05:28.000 Mithridates VI, king of Pontus, around 100 BC, had a recipe for counteracting certain poisons with the principal ingredient being carrot seeds.
02:05:42.000 It has since been proven that this concoction actually works.
02:05:46.000 Huh.
02:05:47.000 Wow.
02:05:48.000 So they had white ones and yellow ones, too?
02:05:51.000 The Romans believed that carrots were aphrodisiacs.
02:05:54.000 Yeah.
02:05:55.000 Wow.
02:05:56.000 Imagine if you can go back with a bucket of Viagra to Rome and go, boys, I'm here to make money.
02:06:04.000 I mean, like, all right, so if you could go back to any time period, like, would you go to Rome?
02:06:10.000 No, I would go to ancient Egypt.
02:06:12.000 I would go during the time of the construction of the pyramids.
02:06:16.000 I'd be like, what was that like?
02:06:18.000 How did they do that?
02:06:19.000 By the way, so there's pyramids in Egypt.
02:06:22.000 There's pyramids in Central and South America.
02:06:26.000 Yeah.
02:06:27.000 These two human beings, two groups of human beings, both decided to do it?
02:06:34.000 Wow.
02:06:36.000 Yeah, very different though.
02:06:37.000 Different in terms of style, but also similar in terms of the way they laid out their villages and their cities to coincide or to match up with constellations.
02:06:53.000 Really interesting.
02:06:54.000 So many of them were sky watchers, you know, whether it's the ancient Egyptians, the ancient Mayans, the Aztecs.
02:07:00.000 Wow.
02:07:01.000 Yeah.
02:07:02.000 What's really nuts, man, is that there was thriving civilizations in the Amazon, and that they believe that they were wiped out by European diseases, and that this was not really known until the invention of LIDAR. It was speculated,
02:07:24.000 and it was the premise from the movie The Lost City of Z. But over time with the advent of this new technology, which is like a light-emitting radar type deal, this thing called LIDAR that allows them to non-invasively scan the ground.
02:07:43.000 And with this penetrating technology, they can see trenches that were indicative of irrigation systems, grids that were there for cities, all swallowed up by the jungle because the people there died because European settlers brought in smallpox.
02:08:02.000 Wow.
02:08:03.000 So all this stuff.
02:08:04.000 Wow.
02:08:05.000 So they find these...
02:08:06.000 Oh, this is another one in the Guatemalan jungle.
02:08:08.000 They think, okay, this is one of the ancient cities home to millions more people than previously thought.
02:08:14.000 Vast interconnected network of ancient cities.
02:08:17.000 And these cities that were there were talked about by the initial European settlers.
02:08:25.000 Not even settlers rather, explorers.
02:08:26.000 They went to these areas and they talked about these incredible golden palaces and these amazing gilded chest plates and helmets these people wore.
02:08:36.000 Then they came back like a new group of people came back 50 years later and it was all gone.
02:08:40.000 Everyone was dead.
02:08:41.000 Not only that, the jungle had overcome all of the cities.
02:08:46.000 And so they're like, oh, these guys were lying.
02:08:47.000 And so the second group, the second wave of European explorers, thought the first group were just full of shit.
02:08:53.000 And they kept this idea until fairly recently.
02:08:58.000 Want to blow your mind even further?
02:08:59.000 Yeah.
02:09:00.000 The plants that are there, they're man-planted.
02:09:04.000 The rainforest, like the Amazon rainforest, is a result of agriculture.
02:09:10.000 Wait a minute.
02:09:12.000 So that was, someone planted those?
02:09:15.000 Yes.
02:09:16.000 Yes.
02:09:16.000 The Amazon rainforest is a result of human intervention.
02:09:21.000 The Amazon rainforest was planted.
02:09:23.000 Well, not necessarily planted as much as the original plants were invasive and they overwhelmed plants.
02:09:29.000 All the other plants.
02:09:30.000 Here it is.
02:09:31.000 Supposedly pristine, untouched Amazon rainforest was actually shaped by humans.
02:09:35.000 Over thousands of years, native people played a strong role in molding the ecology of this vast wilderness.
02:09:41.000 Not only did they do that, but they did that with a specific technology in creating a compost that we, to this day, do not understand the process of For a special compost.
02:09:53.000 They had a very special compost that created this dark, very rich earth that was made with controlled burns and the introduction of some composted material and some biological material, whether it's food or decayed animals or whatever the fuck it is.
02:10:10.000 But the bacteria from this was incredibly rich and allowed them to have this amazingly fertile ground that they're losing When they're doing these mass burns, and they're defoliating these areas for cattle ranches,
02:10:27.000 and they're fucking up the rainforest in the process of doing this.
02:10:31.000 So, based on that, then, the oxygen output that the Amazon provides was not there at one point.
02:10:40.000 Exactly.
02:10:41.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:10:42.000 But, I mean...
02:10:43.000 There were less humans.
02:10:45.000 Way less humans.
02:10:46.000 Yeah.
02:10:46.000 I mean, you got to imagine there's a few million people that were living down there, but it's nothing like the 20 plus million that live in Los Angeles or Mexico City, which is enormous, or some of these other cities.
02:10:58.000 But that whole rainforest area where we think of as like, this is how it's supposed to be.
02:11:04.000 No, they were planting a bunch of these really prolific plants that they used for agricultural purposes.
02:11:12.000 Now, wouldn't that lead us to believe that we could therefore reverse global warming?
02:11:21.000 If we could do something like that, take it from me.
02:11:24.000 Again, I tell food jokes for a living.
02:11:26.000 There's people that believe that.
02:11:27.000 There's people that also believe that one of the things about carbon dioxide is that carbon dioxide, which is obviously what human beings exhale and plants inhale, and then they produce oxygen.
02:11:38.000 With the excess carbon in our environment, there's actually more greenery today than there was 100 years ago.
02:11:47.000 Really?
02:11:48.000 Yeah, I know.
02:11:49.000 What the fuck?
02:11:50.000 It's very complicated.
02:11:52.000 And I think one of the reasons why people don't like talking about it, because they don't want to exonerate human beings from the disastrous impact of our carbon output on the Earth itself, and not just carbon, but particulates and all the pollution.
02:12:07.000 Make sure that's true.
02:12:08.000 But I'm pretty sure that's true.
02:12:09.000 Because that was actually told to me by a legitimate scientist who was explaining how the one benefit of the increase in carbon is Is that there's actually an increase in the amount of green plants that exist today because of that.
02:12:22.000 Because they literally exist off of carbon.
02:12:25.000 Of carbon dioxide.
02:12:27.000 Wow.
02:12:28.000 Yeah, it's hard because you want to say, like, oh, you know, maybe we can fix global warming by this.
02:12:34.000 Like, look at this.
02:12:34.000 Higher concentrations of carbon dioxide make plants more productive because photosynthesis relies on using the sun's energy to synthesize sugar out of carbon dioxide and water.
02:12:44.000 Plants and ecosystems use the sugar as both an energy source and as the basic building block for growth.
02:12:50.000 Yes, more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere helps plants.
02:12:55.000 So global land photosynthesis changes in its causes.
02:13:00.000 So if you look at the year 2000, look when they go back to the year 1000, like look at that chart.
02:13:07.000 Look how few plants there were.
02:13:09.000 Now look at 2000. Look how much more green there is.
02:13:13.000 Carbon dioxide fertilization, increased leaf area, and growing season change.
02:13:19.000 It's pretty wild.
02:13:20.000 Like there's more greenery today.
02:13:22.000 But the real mindfuck is knowing that the Amazon rainforest is the result of human agriculture.
02:13:27.000 That's insane.
02:13:28.000 Yeah, it's, um, there's like, um, what are the plants?
02:13:32.000 They're the weird plants.
02:13:33.000 One of them is like the ice cream bean.
02:13:35.000 One of them is, um, there's a bunch of different really odd plants that are the result of this extreme, uh, foliation.
02:13:44.000 How about in Sapiens how, like, farming really is, like, ended up being a real problem for humans?
02:13:53.000 Yeah.
02:13:54.000 Like, we could finally feed everyone, but the problem is, is we started eating crap.
02:13:59.000 Yeah.
02:14:00.000 That's where people are like, we'll just eat grain.
02:14:02.000 Tons of grain.
02:14:04.000 Yeah, I know.
02:14:04.000 I think education is really the problem more than it is farming.
02:14:07.000 Because if it wasn't for farming, you'd never have cities.
02:14:10.000 There's no way you're going to have something like Manhattan without farming.
02:14:13.000 It doesn't exist.
02:14:14.000 It's not possible.
02:14:15.000 They're not growing anything there.
02:14:16.000 No one's self-sustaining.
02:14:18.000 No one has a lot in their backyard.
02:14:19.000 How about the fact that the Romans fed themselves With food that was grown in Egypt.
02:14:25.000 That's insane.
02:14:26.000 That's insane.
02:14:28.000 The Romans, all the grain in Egypt.
02:14:34.000 It's insane.
02:14:36.000 How far is that?
02:14:37.000 It seems pretty far.
02:14:39.000 Well, they did get one of those obelisks from ancient Egypt, and it's in the centerpiece of one of the main places in the Vatican.
02:14:51.000 You've been to Vatican?
02:14:52.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:14:53.000 You ever seen the obelisk?
02:14:54.000 No.
02:14:55.000 That's from...
02:14:55.000 Maybe I saw it.
02:14:57.000 They have one of them in Central Park, too.
02:14:58.000 Really?
02:14:59.000 Yeah, well, there's an Egyptian obelisk in Central Park in Manhattan.
02:15:03.000 There's one in the Museum of...
02:15:04.000 Is it the Met?
02:15:05.000 They have a whole room in the Met that is insane.
02:15:09.000 Where would you go if you had a time machine?
02:15:12.000 If you could go back to one point in human history?
02:15:15.000 I would love to meet...
02:15:20.000 My ancestor who came, one of them that came over from Ireland.
02:15:25.000 That would be cool.
02:15:28.000 They must have been wild fucking people willing to get in a boat and take your kids across a fucking ocean with not even a YouTube video to watch.
02:15:37.000 Yeah, they...
02:15:38.000 They just had a dream that that was going to be better for them?
02:15:41.000 You should do one of those finding your roots things.
02:15:43.000 Have you done that?
02:15:44.000 Like a 23andMe?
02:15:45.000 Yeah.
02:15:45.000 No, well, they have Dr. Louis Gates.
02:15:49.000 And so my last name is Gaffigan, but the real name was Gavahan.
02:15:56.000 And they changed it.
02:15:57.000 There's this belief that...
02:15:59.000 Oh, everyone changed their name.
02:16:01.000 The German people that worked at these immigration places changed their names.
02:16:07.000 And no, because they signed the logs back in Ireland.
02:16:11.000 So they gave the name of Gaffigan.
02:16:16.000 Here's another interesting fact.
02:16:20.000 At the start of World War I or World War II, more Americans spoke German than English.
02:16:29.000 Really?
02:16:29.000 I think that's true.
02:16:31.000 Look that up.
02:16:32.000 See if that's true.
02:16:33.000 That's wild.
02:16:34.000 So like...
02:16:35.000 You know like St. Patrick's Day?
02:16:37.000 There is like...
02:16:40.000 America is very German.
02:16:43.000 Like St. Louis, Cincinnati, all German.
02:16:47.000 And German and French, but like there was a time when like the percentage of people that spoke German in the U.S. was – now we're going to find out it was like 38 percent.
02:17:01.000 But that's still insane.
02:17:02.000 That's insane.
02:17:03.000 Well, what is the primary second language in America today is Spanish, right?
02:17:07.000 Yes.
02:17:08.000 What do you think the population, what the percentage of the population that speaks Spanish is?
02:17:12.000 20% maybe?
02:17:13.000 Well, I think that Hispanics are at least 20-25%.
02:17:17.000 Right, but how many of them are fluent in Spanish?
02:17:19.000 Because I have friends that are Mexican that don't speak Spanish.
02:17:22.000 Well, I think that's the American story, is that the first generation wants to become American, so they kind of don't embrace it, and then generations after that try and kind of rediscover it.
02:17:36.000 So I don't know.
02:17:37.000 So let's find out what the German, what's the percentage that spoke German at the turn of the century?
02:17:43.000 I'm going to say, based on your story alone and no research, 42%.
02:17:49.000 I mean, it would be amazing if...
02:17:52.000 25% is amazing.
02:17:55.000 It's one of those things...
02:17:56.000 So, Madison Square Garden...
02:18:00.000 There was a pro-Nazi rally.
02:18:04.000 I saw that.
02:18:05.000 It's insane.
02:18:06.000 That's insane.
02:18:06.000 That was in like the 30s, right?
02:18:08.000 Yeah.
02:18:08.000 Wasn't it?
02:18:08.000 That was in 1939. Yeah, there was a big movement.
02:18:11.000 Wild.
02:18:11.000 The pictures of it are pretty crazy.
02:18:13.000 Wild.
02:18:14.000 Look at that.
02:18:15.000 I performed there.
02:18:15.000 You performed there, right?
02:18:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:18:18.000 That's wild.
02:18:18.000 Look at that fucking...
02:18:21.000 Just to get that other point, I was seeing it was the number two language in 1917, but I was trying to dig through a bunch of stuff.
02:18:28.000 There were some laws that were being passed to stop education in any other language other than English around that time period, too.
02:18:34.000 What do they say as far as what percentage of people?
02:18:37.000 I was trying to find an actual statistic.
02:18:39.000 I wasn't getting the right information.
02:18:41.000 I was trying to go too quick.
02:18:43.000 You got nicotine gum?
02:18:45.000 That's my nicotine gum.
02:18:46.000 Goddamn, my friend.
02:18:48.000 Nicotine, man.
02:18:48.000 It gets you, doesn't it?
02:18:50.000 What's your nicotine?
02:18:52.000 Cigars.
02:18:53.000 Cigars?
02:18:54.000 Yeah.
02:18:54.000 Did you ever dip?
02:18:55.000 No.
02:18:56.000 I swallowed it once.
02:18:58.000 I dipped.
02:18:59.000 I've dipped before.
02:19:01.000 Dip gives you a wild rush, though, I'll tell you that.
02:19:03.000 What is this, Jamie?
02:19:04.000 It said during World War I. World War I, U.S. government propaganda erased German culture.
02:19:12.000 Yeah.
02:19:12.000 No, they changed the names of all the streets in St. Louis.
02:19:18.000 Eight million first and second generations out of...
02:19:22.000 Hold on.
02:19:23.000 92 million.
02:19:24.000 Count it in the population of 92. So yeah, so that's how many...
02:19:28.000 That's a lot.
02:19:28.000 ...in their first language.
02:19:30.000 That's 10%.
02:19:30.000 Wow.
02:19:31.000 Wow.
02:19:33.000 Yeah, it's somewhere up there.
02:19:36.000 So during the 1850s, 900,000, almost a million Germans went to the United States.
02:19:42.000 Wow.
02:19:42.000 That's a lot.
02:19:43.000 That's a lot back then.
02:19:45.000 That's the time when the German population was only 40 million.
02:19:47.000 So wow, that's crazy.
02:19:50.000 That's crazy.
02:19:52.000 Yeah.
02:19:55.000 I knew there was a lot of newspapers that were written in German back then, but I didn't know about being spoken.
02:20:00.000 It's kind of stunning when you see how little England is.
02:20:02.000 Yeah.
02:20:03.000 I mean, it makes sense what you're talking about with pirates, that they had to be the most horrific monsters to try to control the empire.
02:20:12.000 Well, it's also insane.
02:20:13.000 By the way, so I did this special in Spain, and I love history, so...
02:20:21.000 Do you know what year they finally unified Spain, where they got rid of the Moors, and they finally, the Castilians kind of pieced together what we consider modern day Spain.
02:20:34.000 Do you know what year they did that?
02:20:38.000 No.
02:20:38.000 1492. Oh.
02:20:41.000 The year that Columbus...
02:20:44.000 So they literally finally kicked the Moors out.
02:20:47.000 By the way, we're really...
02:20:49.000 They were really not nice...
02:20:52.000 Moors are evil people.
02:20:54.000 Well, no, no.
02:20:54.000 They were not nice to the Moors or the Jews.
02:20:57.000 Like, they got...
02:20:59.000 The Moors, though, they were conquerors themselves, too.
02:21:01.000 They were conquerors.
02:21:02.000 Everybody was back then, right?
02:21:05.000 I mean, I performed in Morocco.
02:21:07.000 It's, like, amazing to think that, like...
02:21:10.000 You know, we think of the colonizers as these Europeans, but the Arabs were colonizers, too.
02:21:17.000 They colonized Morocco.
02:21:19.000 So, like, there's the Berbers in...
02:21:22.000 I'm sure I'm pronouncing that wrong.
02:21:25.000 So, the Moroccans that were in Spain were part of, you know, when Mohammed and all these guys rose up, the great...
02:21:38.000 Arab power was they took over and they got all the way into Spain and stuff like that.
02:21:45.000 But it's insane to think that...
02:21:47.000 I mean, this was a joke that I had when I went to Spain.
02:21:51.000 Like, Spain took all the gold, all the gold from Central and South America, all of it.
02:21:59.000 So, like, there wasn't really that much gold in North America.
02:22:03.000 There was gold in Central and South America and Spain took it all and they spent it.
02:22:09.000 And so one of my jokes when I was in Spain, I'm like, where's the gold?
02:22:13.000 Where is it?
02:22:15.000 You guys, like they literally, like one of the things they did is they built a navy and they got their ass kicked by the British.
02:22:22.000 You know, so it's really fascinating to see what, how quick these empires come and how quick they disappear.
02:22:31.000 Yeah, and that's the strange thing about where we are today, is that we want to think that the United States is going to be around forever, and that the power and influence we enjoy over the rest of the world will continue this way, and there's no way we would ever live under the thumb of a ruthless dictator like they did back in the day in this part of the world or that part of the world.
02:22:55.000 That's been the standard way that human beings have governed forever.
02:23:00.000 Yeah, the Romans were like, we're good.
02:23:02.000 No one's going to take over.
02:23:03.000 Yeah, come on.
02:23:04.000 We got it.
02:23:05.000 The Greeks the same way.
02:23:06.000 I mean, they started with democracy.
02:23:07.000 Yeah.
02:23:08.000 And it all fucking fell apart.
02:23:09.000 I mean, the Romans were like so confident.
02:23:11.000 They're like, you know, Constantine's like, you know what?
02:23:14.000 I don't even want to do Rome anymore.
02:23:16.000 Let's go over to what's present day Istanbul.
02:23:19.000 Like he switched the capital of Rome.
02:23:22.000 That's insane.
02:23:24.000 It's kind of like if a president was like, you know what?
02:23:28.000 I think our capital should now be in...
02:23:31.000 Let's now put it in Vancouver.
02:23:34.000 Yeah.
02:23:35.000 Like in a different country.
02:23:37.000 Right.
02:23:38.000 It's wild.
02:23:38.000 This Roman Empire, it was named after a city, Rome, and he moved it to essentially Asia.
02:23:48.000 It's like insane.
02:23:49.000 Why did he go there?
02:23:51.000 I think that...
02:23:52.000 Chicks?
02:23:53.000 A lot of hot chicks over there?
02:23:54.000 I think that was...
02:23:57.000 That was modern, maybe?
02:23:59.000 I don't know.
02:24:00.000 Oh, interesting.
02:24:00.000 I don't know.
02:24:01.000 Dan Carlin would know.
02:24:02.000 Yeah, he'd be the guy to ask.
02:24:03.000 How does that guy know so much?
02:24:05.000 He's just consuming books.
02:24:06.000 Yeah, well, he works so hard on his show.
02:24:10.000 To call his show a podcast and to call this a podcast is really kind of hilarious.
02:24:14.000 Because this is like, we did zero preparation.
02:24:17.000 I haven't seen you in two years.
02:24:18.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:24:19.000 We talked through text messages only, and then all of a sudden we're sitting there talking.
02:24:23.000 We have no idea what we're going to talk about, and we've been talking for hours.
02:24:26.000 Dan Carlin, when he does a two-hour podcast, he will research that for months.
02:24:32.000 Months and months.
02:24:33.000 Like, well, he'll do a thing like The Wrath of the Khan, which is a spectacular five-piece series on Genghis Khan.
02:24:41.000 When he did that, it took like six months to prepare.
02:24:45.000 Wow.
02:24:46.000 Yeah, and then he puts them out, and you can get them for a dollar.
02:24:50.000 They cost a dollar each, and it is like literally some of the most spectacular historical entertainment you'll ever get in your life.
02:24:59.000 It's educational.
02:25:00.000 There's an enthusiasm to how he does it, too.
02:25:02.000 He's amazing.
02:25:04.000 And he's so humble, too.
02:25:05.000 He always says he's not a historian.
02:25:07.000 Like, bitch, you're a fucking historian.
02:25:07.000 Yeah, he always says that, too.
02:25:08.000 Yeah, stop saying that.
02:25:10.000 Have you met him?
02:25:11.000 I haven't met him.
02:25:12.000 He's a great guy, too.
02:25:13.000 He's been on the podcast a couple times.
02:25:15.000 And so the length of his podcasts are astronomical, too.
02:25:21.000 They're like, four hours, part one of Caesar Conquers the World.
02:25:27.000 And you're like, what?
02:25:28.000 Yeah.
02:25:29.000 He's like, let me quote from this book that I read.
02:25:33.000 I'm like, dude, I haven't, like reading this dense information, he goes, Sophocles wrote this thing.
02:25:40.000 And you're like, how do you know that?
02:25:43.000 Yeah, and he covers so many different topics.
02:25:47.000 He had a great piece on Martin Luther and the invention of Lutherism and the time in history where making a version of the Bible that was phonetically readable, that people could understand,
02:26:03.000 like a phonetic interpretation of the Bible where you could say the word.
02:26:06.000 That didn't exist.
02:26:08.000 They all read the Bible in Latin, and if you don't understand Latin, Most people didn't read.
02:26:14.000 Right.
02:26:14.000 You were at the whim of the priests.
02:26:16.000 And Martin Luther came along and said, actually, what God said, you should probably interpret it yourself and not leave it to these people.
02:26:23.000 And they came real close to killing him a few times for that.
02:26:27.000 It is amazing how consistently...
02:26:32.000 The messages and the teachings of Jesus are like, humans can't grasp it.
02:26:39.000 They're way off.
02:26:41.000 Like, oh, we're supposed to take care of the poor?
02:26:44.000 We're supposed to help the needy?
02:26:46.000 We're supposed to do all this?
02:26:47.000 And people are like, does that mean I should get another car?
02:26:50.000 We don't even come close.
02:26:54.000 I'm going to get a Jesus tattoo.
02:26:56.000 Do you know what I mean?
02:26:57.000 We don't...
02:26:59.000 And I'm talking about people that, you know, embrace the Christian faith.
02:27:05.000 Like, get it wrong.
02:27:07.000 I'm not talking about people like, I don't believe in that stuff.
02:27:09.000 Right.
02:27:10.000 People who proclaim to be Christian.
02:27:12.000 Again, humans are pretty dumb.
02:27:15.000 Well, collectively, we're pretty brilliant.
02:27:18.000 What we're capable of collectively, I mean, we're both carrying around a small glass and metal device that sends video through the sky to people that live on the other side of the planet.
02:27:31.000 And we use it and we have no idea how it works.
02:27:34.000 No.
02:27:35.000 I mean, I kind of roughly can tell you what they've done, but I can't recreate it.
02:27:40.000 If you're alone on an island with a million years with all the tools in the world, you'd never be able to figure out how to make a phone.
02:27:46.000 If someone came up to me right now, they're like, can you fix this toaster?
02:27:50.000 I'd be like, sorry, I can't.
02:27:52.000 So imagine, like, collectively, we're brilliant.
02:27:56.000 Individually, we vary so wildly that some of us, like myself, are basically chimps with a good vocabulary.
02:28:04.000 And some people are like Elon Musk, who figure out how to drill tunnels under the earth to fucking shoot traffic.
02:28:11.000 Oh, by the way, did you see that that fell apart in Vegas?
02:28:14.000 What, did it fall?
02:28:16.000 A traffic jam in the tunnel.
02:28:17.000 Yeah, I just saw that there was some negative article on it.
02:28:22.000 Well, they were saying there's a traffic jam, but essentially the traffic was at the exit of the tunnel.
02:28:27.000 Like, you couldn't just get out of the tunnel real quick.
02:28:29.000 You had to wait to get out of the tunnel.
02:28:31.000 Which is not good.
02:28:33.000 No, the whole point is to not wait, you know?
02:28:37.000 And for claustrophobic people, it would be a big problem.
02:28:39.000 Oh my god.
02:28:40.000 Imagine if you're in the middle of the tunnel and imagine if one of those cars catches on fly.
02:28:43.000 There are people using a tunnel right now.
02:28:45.000 That's a good question.
02:28:46.000 I don't know.
02:28:46.000 There was a newscast.
02:28:48.000 There was some news program that was doing this whole thing about the tunnels in Vegas.
02:28:52.000 I believe it was for CES. It's underneath the convention center in Vegas, and that's where CES was.
02:28:58.000 Well, occasionally they have bursts into flames, right?
02:29:01.000 Tesla?
02:29:02.000 Yeah.
02:29:03.000 I think they show at least a video of one in that compilation of it, so I don't know what the hell happened there, but yeah.
02:29:09.000 Could be an extra one.
02:29:11.000 And there was the movie Tucker and stuff like that.
02:29:14.000 The first time you were in a Tesla, were you kind of like, what are the other car manufacturers?
02:29:20.000 It's not like, we've got windshield wipers that work better.
02:29:23.000 They're like, everything is better.
02:29:26.000 Well, the first time I was in one was there was an app where you could rent a car from the app and they would deliver it to you, sort of like Uber Eats or something like that.
02:29:38.000 They'd deliver a car for you and you drive the car around and you tell them where it is when you're done and then they would come and get it.
02:29:45.000 I was like, whoa, this was like early on in the podcast.
02:29:48.000 I want to say this is like 2000...
02:29:51.000 12-ish or something like that.
02:29:53.000 And they were one of our sponsors.
02:29:55.000 I was like, wow, this is really fascinating.
02:29:57.000 And I drove it around.
02:29:58.000 But back then, the battery technology, the efficiency was not that good.
02:30:02.000 I drove to the comedy store and back, and I had half the battery life.
02:30:06.000 I was like, what?
02:30:07.000 This is crazy.
02:30:08.000 And I didn't have a charger because it was at the studio.
02:30:11.000 So I was like, this seems like a little...
02:30:13.000 I don't want to be somewhere where it runs out of batteries.
02:30:16.000 Yeah.
02:30:16.000 Then years later, Elon did the podcast and he talked me into buying one.
02:30:21.000 He's like, it's the best car.
02:30:22.000 You gotta buy it.
02:30:22.000 I go, okay, I buy it.
02:30:23.000 I buy it.
02:30:24.000 I buy it.
02:30:24.000 And I bought it.
02:30:25.000 I was like, holy fuck, it is the best car.
02:30:27.000 Because by then, they had really perfected it.
02:30:30.000 How long does the battery last?
02:30:32.000 I got the new one, and I think if you fully charge it, it hits somewhere around 350 miles.
02:30:39.000 See what a Model S Plaid can do.
02:30:44.000 Also, I keep it in ludicrous mode, because I'm reckless.
02:30:48.000 What's ludicrous mode?
02:30:49.000 The fastest it can drive.
02:30:51.000 There's different modes, and some modes allow you to preserve battery life.
02:30:54.000 Is that ludicrous, the singer?
02:30:56.000 It's not.
02:30:57.000 Okay.
02:30:58.000 That would have been great.
02:30:58.000 If you hit the gas, it goes, oh!
02:31:01.000 I've got a big weed.
02:31:03.000 Charge time?
02:31:04.000 No, how long is the total mileage?
02:31:07.000 How long can it go for?
02:31:09.000 What's the range?
02:31:11.000 In ludicrous mode or not?
02:31:14.000 No, no, regular.
02:31:15.000 What's the range?
02:31:16.000 You need to have a charger at home.
02:31:19.000 Oh, yeah, 100%.
02:31:20.000 What is the range?
02:31:21.000 You have to be rich enough to have a home.
02:31:23.000 Yes, you have to have a home.
02:31:25.000 Or you can go to a charge station.
02:31:27.000 348 miles.
02:31:28.000 Okay.
02:31:29.000 Oh, 80% of it's...
02:31:30.000 Okay, that's it.
02:31:31.000 So it traveled 280 miles.
02:31:33.000 And how long does it take the charge?
02:31:35.000 Is it like overnight?
02:31:38.000 No, four hours, I think.
02:31:40.000 You have an S. Yeah, the slower one, not the supercharger, would take if you were on the empty.
02:31:50.000 It fills up the first half of it faster, and then as you get fuller, it starts going a little slower.
02:31:56.000 But if you had a supercharger, you can get it done in a half an hour, 45 minutes, I think.
02:32:00.000 Especially as it's getting faster and faster.
02:32:02.000 That's funny.
02:32:02.000 It sounds like something a kid would say.
02:32:04.000 You know, if you get supercharger...
02:32:06.000 Well, it's called a supercharger.
02:32:08.000 Supercharger.
02:32:08.000 You have to go to a location.
02:32:09.000 My dad's got a supercharger.
02:32:10.000 Yeah, it sounds funny.
02:32:11.000 That's not the technical term.
02:32:12.000 No, it's a supercharger.
02:32:13.000 It's super duper.
02:32:14.000 Super duper.
02:32:15.000 But they haven't added the extra...
02:32:17.000 Remember when Reggie was in here, he explained the Porsche has a bigger bandwidth pipeline.
02:32:21.000 Right.
02:32:22.000 And I don't think they have that yet, but that should let it charge almost the whole thing in half an hour, I think, if not faster.
02:32:27.000 Right.
02:32:27.000 That's a different setup that hasn't been totally implemented yet.
02:32:33.000 Tesla has the best network of charging stations.
02:32:36.000 You could go across the country...
02:32:38.000 And the car will tell you where the chargers are.
02:32:41.000 And then you can go to that charger.
02:32:43.000 Now, is Elon one of these guys that's like, he's like, oh, I have this idea?
02:32:49.000 Because there's a lot of brilliant people, right?
02:32:51.000 Yeah.
02:32:52.000 But he also has to have the ability to get it done.
02:32:55.000 Look, a lot of people, like a lot of the things you're doing, it's not just about having the idea.
02:33:00.000 It's about saying, okay, I want you to do this, you to do this.
02:33:03.000 He has that management skill too, right?
02:33:06.000 He definitely does.
02:33:06.000 He also works so hard that he leads by example.
02:33:10.000 I mean, the guy works fucking 16 hours a day.
02:33:13.000 I mean, he's constantly working.
02:33:14.000 So he's constantly doing things.
02:33:17.000 Wow.
02:33:18.000 So he's just...
02:33:19.000 And also, he's got great time management in terms of his ability to concentrate on SpaceX for a little bit, Tesla for a little bit, and then, you know...
02:33:28.000 Isn't that fascinating?
02:33:30.000 He has a space program that he does on the side.
02:33:33.000 Yeah.
02:33:37.000 Like, I just...
02:33:38.000 You know, like, the amount of articles that I want to read...
02:33:42.000 About the NFL playoffs is stressing me out.
02:33:47.000 Can you imagine being that smart?
02:33:53.000 It's odd.
02:33:54.000 It's amazing.
02:33:55.000 I'm friends with him.
02:33:57.000 I hung out with him a bunch of times and talked to him.
02:34:00.000 He's so much smarter than me.
02:34:02.000 It's confusing.
02:34:05.000 I think that a lot of people are in that position with him, right?
02:34:10.000 Oh, yeah.
02:34:10.000 Most people are in that position with him.
02:34:12.000 Yeah.
02:34:13.000 And especially when you look at the width of his knowledge.
02:34:17.000 It's not a narrow pipeline.
02:34:19.000 Like, he's concentrating on, you know, just semiconductor chips or just this, just that.
02:34:24.000 He's doing multiple different complex engineering projects.
02:34:31.000 Which, like, I just, it sounds like a comedy bit.
02:34:34.000 It does.
02:34:35.000 Maybe one day it'll be legit.
02:34:37.000 Like, maybe it's like the battery of the Tesla, the first one that I got 10 plus years ago.
02:34:41.000 Which is, it's just like subway road for cars.
02:34:46.000 But you're trapped in there in your car.
02:34:48.000 And it's, the belt is moving, right?
02:34:51.000 I don't know what's moving.
02:34:52.000 It looked to me like the car was driving.
02:34:54.000 That looks like a car is driving to me.
02:34:56.000 See, here's the jam.
02:34:59.000 But look, it looks like the opening is...
02:35:02.000 How far is the opening up there?
02:35:04.000 Does it go all the way?
02:35:06.000 Is this a prototype, like he's built it underneath?
02:35:11.000 See, but this is a small traffic jam, because look how quickly everybody's going out.
02:35:16.000 But also, this is the end of this long-ass tunnel, and it looks like everybody's...
02:35:21.000 So you can see, if you look ahead, the opening.
02:35:24.000 I would think they wouldn't want people driving, because people would get drunk and drive under the wall.
02:35:29.000 Well, you can let the car drive itself, so you don't even, like, do anything.
02:35:34.000 Like, it has auto driving.
02:35:36.000 So, yeah, this is the end of the line.
02:35:38.000 That's only, like, a minute of a traffic jam.
02:35:40.000 It's not that big of a tunnel, though, from what I've read.
02:35:43.000 Oh.
02:35:44.000 It's just the convention center.
02:35:45.000 It's like the Holland Tunnel.
02:35:45.000 Like, he's like, in a way, he's kind of like, I have this amazing invention.
02:35:50.000 I've invented the Holland Tunnel.
02:35:52.000 You know, it's like tunnels have existed before.
02:35:56.000 I think that's one of them, but I think in other ones, you're going to attach yourself to a thing, and then it's going to rocket you way faster than your car can go.
02:36:05.000 Right, so it's going to rocket you from San Francisco to LA. Allegedly.
02:36:10.000 Right.
02:36:11.000 That's what I heard.
02:36:13.000 I just want to be in the...
02:36:13.000 That's the plan, but I think...
02:36:17.000 But that was just driving.
02:36:18.000 This one that we just showed, I believe, is this.
02:36:20.000 It's less than a mile long.
02:36:22.000 It's just a convention center.
02:36:23.000 Oh.
02:36:24.000 The plan is to get this, which is the whole strip.
02:36:27.000 It's taking that little part and then adding the entire strip and you have a little spot to peel off at every casino.
02:36:33.000 But that's a way bigger construction program.
02:36:36.000 That's kind of fascinating.
02:36:38.000 Like if there was a bunch of tunnels and you could just get out at the Bellagio and pop out.
02:36:43.000 Or you could just take the road that exists there.
02:36:49.000 It's like a road, but it's like underneath.
02:36:53.000 Yeah, that's called a tunnel.
02:36:54.000 Well, one of the things they do out here in Texas is people have small helicopters.
02:36:59.000 Yeah.
02:37:00.000 And they fly around.
02:37:01.000 Like my friend Tim, Tim Kennedy, he has a helicopter and he flies around places in his fucking helicopter.
02:37:07.000 So he's on his place and he just flies.
02:37:09.000 He just gets in a helicopter, he flies, he'll land somewhere and then he'll Uber to where he needs to go.
02:37:13.000 And then he flies back home.
02:37:15.000 So where he lives is like 40 minutes by car but 5 minutes by helicopter.
02:37:20.000 Oh wow.
02:37:21.000 Getting a helicopter.
02:37:23.000 When you land.
02:37:24.000 I mean, that's what they, when they envisioned the helicopter initially, they thought that a helicopter was going to be a flying car.
02:37:30.000 That's what they essentially thought it was going to be for everybody.
02:37:32.000 Wow.
02:37:33.000 Like the Jetsons.
02:37:34.000 Yeah, literally.
02:37:35.000 And Bill Burr.
02:37:35.000 And Bill Burr.
02:37:37.000 Have you been up with Bill before?
02:37:38.000 No, I haven't.
02:37:39.000 Bill's taken me up a couple times.
02:37:40.000 It's fucking awesome.
02:37:41.000 It's amazing.
02:37:42.000 It's really wild.
02:37:43.000 Like he, you can fly around downtown LA. You can go anywhere you want.
02:37:46.000 Like we were just flying around downtown LA, like around buildings and shit.
02:37:51.000 Really?
02:37:51.000 So you can get close to buildings?
02:37:53.000 Oh my god, real close.
02:37:54.000 As close to buildings as the parking lot is to this studio.
02:37:58.000 You could throw a rock from the helicopter if you open the window and hit a building.
02:38:03.000 Wow.
02:38:03.000 Not only that, the buildings, a lot of them have helicopter landing pads on the roof.
02:38:08.000 They have this big X. I told you last week, I saw that this video got sent to me on YouTube.
02:38:12.000 It's got 2 million views.
02:38:14.000 A guy took a paramotor, it's called, up to 17,000 feet, but he just takes off from the middle of this housing area.
02:38:21.000 He straps this fucking fan onto his back and just starts going.
02:38:25.000 He looks like what I would imagine the neighbor's crazy kid.
02:38:28.000 Look, that's what he starts doing.
02:38:29.000 And then he just goes?
02:38:30.000 He goes to 17,000 feet.
02:38:32.000 He's just floating up there with his iPhone.
02:38:34.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:38:35.000 What if he dropped it on someone's head?
02:38:36.000 Imagine if he died because this fucking dork drops his iPhone on your head.
02:38:41.000 At one point he's just like, I think if you pass out, you might just float down for a while.
02:38:45.000 I don't know.
02:38:46.000 Because he seems pretty new in it.
02:38:48.000 He's probably got no air.
02:38:49.000 Yeah, he hadn't gone up this high.
02:38:52.000 Oh, fuck, buddy.
02:38:52.000 He doesn't have an air tank.
02:38:53.000 It just seemed, but I think you can just use it.
02:38:56.000 17,000 feet.
02:38:57.000 At what point does oxygen become a problem?
02:39:00.000 Right there, at that point?
02:39:02.000 First of all, how cold is it?
02:39:03.000 He got very cold.
02:39:05.000 I was very curious about all these things you guys were asking, so I just sort of watched the whole thing.
02:39:08.000 What if he gets hit by a plane?
02:39:09.000 One part, he wanted to go through a cloud.
02:39:11.000 He's like, it's going to be awesome to go through it.
02:39:13.000 I think he thought that was a bad idea.
02:39:15.000 Yeah, you're getting hit by lightning.
02:39:16.000 But they said it was the view.
02:39:18.000 He's talking about how awesome it all is.
02:39:21.000 He's just floating up there.
02:39:22.000 Did you tell everybody the earth is flat?
02:39:24.000 I did look.
02:39:25.000 You can't really tell, honestly.
02:39:27.000 You can't see anything.
02:39:28.000 It's flat, bro.
02:39:29.000 But another video of his, he goes flying over sharks and stuff down in Florida.
02:39:33.000 But look how amazing that is.
02:39:34.000 Yeah.
02:39:35.000 So this kid's just crazy.
02:39:36.000 So how did he get down?
02:39:37.000 You just float down.
02:39:38.000 Oh, he's got mittens and shit?
02:39:39.000 You float down eventually?
02:39:41.000 Yeah, you just start going.
02:39:41.000 You turn off the power and you just coast.
02:39:43.000 Oh, wow.
02:39:44.000 Look at this.
02:39:45.000 And so he got home to where he was.
02:39:47.000 Right back to where his car, right back where he started.
02:39:49.000 That's amazing.
02:39:50.000 He pinpointed it?
02:39:51.000 He had to piss.
02:39:52.000 He had to pee real bad.
02:39:53.000 So it's a podcast.
02:39:54.000 He did a podcast in space.
02:39:56.000 But I think you can just buy these and go.
02:39:58.000 I don't know.
02:39:58.000 I'm sure he trained himself so he doesn't die, but I don't think you have to.
02:40:02.000 I mean, this is just my takeaway.
02:40:03.000 I'm like, who's mowing all that area?
02:40:05.000 That seems like...
02:40:06.000 That's a big job.
02:40:07.000 If I was a landscaper, I'd be like, I want that contract.
02:40:10.000 It's a good contract, though.
02:40:11.000 That would be a good contract.
02:40:13.000 Oh, you got good money in that one.
02:40:14.000 Yeah, good lawn stuff.
02:40:15.000 Fuck.
02:40:16.000 Do you remember the guy who faked his kid floating away in a balloon in Colorado?
02:40:21.000 Yeah.
02:40:22.000 Didn't he go to jail?
02:40:23.000 I think so.
02:40:24.000 What do you mean he faked his kid?
02:40:25.000 Yeah, he had a hoax where he said one of his children grabbed a hold of a balloon and floated away.
02:40:35.000 The cops were looking for the kid.
02:40:37.000 They were worried.
02:40:38.000 And why did he just pretend?
02:40:40.000 It's like he just did it as a prank, I think, or just as a way to get attention.
02:40:45.000 Yeah, there's a son.
02:40:47.000 Yeah, it was like live news all over the country.
02:40:49.000 Yeah.
02:40:49.000 Boy trapped in runaway balloon.
02:40:51.000 It was a 2009 hoax.
02:40:53.000 I know this because that was the same year that I moved to Colorado and Joey Diaz started calling me balloons.
02:41:01.000 But here's what I understand.
02:41:03.000 It's like, what would his motivation be?
02:41:06.000 He's like, gotcha!
02:41:07.000 Just an idiot.
02:41:08.000 Just an idiot who wanted attention.
02:41:09.000 This was during the reality TV days, right?
02:41:12.000 So this was like John and Kate plus eight.
02:41:14.000 What a great idea.
02:41:14.000 Have 18 kids.
02:41:15.000 You know, have the Octomom.
02:41:17.000 Remember that?
02:41:18.000 People were doing anything they could to get attention.
02:41:21.000 And I think this knucklehead just decided he was going to pretend that his kid floated away in a balloon.
02:41:25.000 And so he went to jail?
02:41:27.000 I believe he was sentenced.
02:41:28.000 All right, so 2019, a local Denver news reporter did an in-depth story on, like, the truth finally comes out.
02:41:35.000 I guess he was trying to start a TV show, calling some viral story or something like that.
02:41:41.000 Oh, I see.
02:41:42.000 So did he wind up getting sentenced?
02:41:46.000 Jail or prison is anything I saw pop up yet, but maybe.
02:41:50.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure he had to do a little stint.
02:41:54.000 They spent $62,000 looking for the balloon.
02:41:57.000 90 days in prison.
02:41:58.000 Oh boy.
02:41:58.000 90 days.
02:41:59.000 There you go.
02:41:59.000 He served 20 days.
02:42:03.000 So dumb.
02:42:04.000 So dumb.
02:42:05.000 But not shocking.
02:42:07.000 I mean, how many people will do almost anything for some kind of fame and attention?
02:42:11.000 Did you hear about the girl who was selling her farts?
02:42:13.000 She had a heart attack?
02:42:14.000 And now she's selling them as NFTs is the next turn of that story.
02:42:18.000 She probably didn't have a heart attack.
02:42:19.000 She's probably saying she had a heart attack so everybody would pay attention to her more.
02:42:22.000 Pretty smart.
02:42:23.000 She's some reality star, and she was selling her jars of farts.
02:42:28.000 She would fart into a jar and sell them.
02:42:31.000 How do you get to that point of an idea, you know, hear me out?
02:42:38.000 Well, guys, she's hot.
02:42:40.000 She is hot.
02:42:41.000 She's hot.
02:42:42.000 So guys look at her and they go, I want something from her, anything.
02:42:45.000 She's like, I'll sell my farts.
02:42:47.000 And you're like, I'll buy them.
02:42:48.000 I'll buy them.
02:42:49.000 How much are the farts?
02:42:51.000 Suffers health scare.
02:42:52.000 I think they're like 50 bucks.
02:42:53.000 Yeah, so she probably sold thousands of them.
02:42:56.000 Yeah.
02:42:56.000 So there's just 50. But here's the thing.
02:42:59.000 Do you really think she's farting in those jars?
02:43:02.000 She's just selling jars.
02:43:03.000 I would say it's a fraud.
02:43:05.000 Yeah.
02:43:06.000 I mean, look, I don't think she really had a heart scare either.
02:43:09.000 Do you know how much Bert Kreischer eats?
02:43:11.000 And how much he farts?
02:43:13.000 And this lady?
02:43:14.000 I read the thing she said she was drinking to make them more pungent.
02:43:18.000 She was drinking three protein shakes a day and eating a bunch of black bean soup.
02:43:22.000 She's just being silly.
02:43:23.000 She's funny.
02:43:25.000 It's fun.
02:43:25.000 We're talking about her.
02:43:27.000 It's smart.
02:43:27.000 90 Day Fiancé.
02:43:29.000 So she was on that show, 90 Day Fiance?
02:43:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:43:32.000 Listen, man, some people just, they get a little bit of attention.
02:43:34.000 They go, okay, we got to keep this ball rolling.
02:43:38.000 On a plane, I sat next to somebody who was a bachelorette or a bachelor.
02:43:45.000 She was a bachelorette.
02:43:47.000 I don't know if that's the gender term.
02:43:49.000 And she had a little business going on.
02:43:52.000 Yeah, well, it's smart.
02:43:54.000 I mean, if you can get on one of those shows, and, you know, anytime you can get on one of those shows where you're on ABC or NBC or whatever it is, and, you know, you get a little bit of heat, you can blow on those embers and throw some kindling on it, and you can make a fire.
02:44:08.000 I mean, there's people that have real careers that they've made from those goofy shows.
02:44:12.000 Like, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
02:44:14.000 I mean, haven't there been, like, a bunch of big businesses that have been launched from those shows?
02:44:18.000 For sure.
02:44:19.000 If you're clever, and you're opportunistic, you make the most out of that moment.
02:44:25.000 It is interesting how there's...
02:44:27.000 We applaud certain ambitions, but we judge others, right?
02:44:32.000 So she's farting in a can, right?
02:44:36.000 And we're kind of like, that's humiliating.
02:44:38.000 She's hot though, look at her.
02:44:40.000 She's fucking, she's pretty smokin'.
02:44:42.000 But there's the jar.
02:44:43.000 Far the NFT of it.
02:44:45.000 Jar fart NFT. What is it?
02:44:47.000 Growing plants?
02:44:48.000 What is it supposed to be?
02:44:49.000 Yeah, this is 100%.
02:44:49.000 It's turned into a joke of it now.
02:44:51.000 Right, of course.
02:44:52.000 Fart jars with Stephanie Matto.
02:44:55.000 I wonder how much it costs.
02:44:57.000 So there you go.
02:44:57.000 Yeah, there's different.
02:44:58.000 Look.
02:44:59.000 Oh, the different straw on it.
02:45:00.000 Oh, she wants Ethereum.
02:45:02.000 .05 ETH. Oh, boy.
02:45:05.000 So what does...
02:45:06.000 I'm just going to make some money.
02:45:08.000 Yeah.
02:45:09.000 If it sells out.
02:45:10.000 I mean, look, she's being smart, right?
02:45:13.000 She said she had a heart attack.
02:45:14.000 You know that's not true, but we're talking about it.
02:45:16.000 People are like, that's okay, but Matt Damon does a commercial for crypto, and people freak out.
02:45:23.000 Well, the difference is Matt Damon is Jason Bourne, and he's a super successful actor.
02:45:29.000 Okay.
02:45:30.000 He is very wealthy.
02:45:31.000 He doesn't need the money, and a lot of people associate crypto with a scam.
02:45:37.000 Okay, but...
02:45:39.000 She's just a hustler.
02:45:41.000 She's a young girl trying to make it.
02:45:43.000 Is crypto a scam?
02:45:44.000 I don't think it's a scam.
02:45:45.000 Okay, so then what's wrong with that?
02:45:48.000 I think it's an alternative form of money, but it's viewed...
02:45:50.000 It's an education issue, I think.
02:45:53.000 So if...
02:45:54.000 But I don't know.
02:45:55.000 I just...
02:45:56.000 You know, look, as the number one Matt Damon defender on...
02:46:00.000 I just...
02:46:01.000 I remember seeing that, and I'm like, so, I mean...
02:46:06.000 People do, you know, is NFT a scam?
02:46:10.000 Is promoting a gambling thing?
02:46:14.000 Is promoting alcohol?
02:46:15.000 Is that a scam?
02:46:16.000 No.
02:46:17.000 No, I don't think any of them are scams.
02:46:19.000 And here's the way I look at things.
02:46:21.000 What upsets me?
02:46:23.000 Does it upset me?
02:46:24.000 Yeah.
02:46:25.000 No, it doesn't upset me.
02:46:26.000 So who's it upsetting?
02:46:27.000 And why is it upsetting them?
02:46:28.000 Well, because they have nothing better to do.
02:46:30.000 They're wondering whether or not Matt Damon should be doing a commercial for cryptocurrency.
02:46:35.000 Like, who do you give a fuck?
02:46:36.000 Like, why is that even on your radar for a second?
02:46:40.000 Well, by the way, it's...
02:46:41.000 I mean, it's weird.
02:46:42.000 I just think it's strange.
02:46:47.000 It's...
02:46:47.000 Look, commercials...
02:46:49.000 The equation of do people need the money?
02:46:54.000 They don't.
02:46:55.000 Do you know what I mean?
02:46:56.000 It's like...
02:46:57.000 But is that...
02:47:00.000 It's like...
02:47:02.000 Does Kevin James, I mean, does Kevin Hart need another job?
02:47:06.000 No, but like, you know what?
02:47:07.000 That's what he does, though.
02:47:08.000 He hustles.
02:47:09.000 He's a hustler, right?
02:47:11.000 Constantly.
02:47:11.000 So it's like, we don't criticize him.
02:47:14.000 What's wrong with Matt Damon?
02:47:16.000 You know, I don't know.
02:47:17.000 Well, Kevin Hart I don't think is selling crypto, though, is he?
02:47:24.000 He's selling credit cards.
02:47:26.000 Right, but everybody has a credit card.
02:47:28.000 That's like a normal thing.
02:47:29.000 If Matt Damon was selling a credit card, I don't think...
02:47:31.000 Remember when Jennifer Gardner was doing credit card commercials?
02:47:35.000 Remember, she's still doing it.
02:47:37.000 Okay, nobody cares.
02:47:37.000 But she doesn't need money.
02:47:39.000 I'm sure she needs money.
02:47:40.000 Why does she need money?
02:47:41.000 Because she probably doesn't work as much anymore.
02:47:43.000 And her and Ben Affleck are divorced.
02:47:46.000 Why doesn't she borrow money from Matt Damon if he has so much money?
02:47:50.000 But the thing is, my point is...
02:47:53.000 Because then she'd have to pay it back.
02:47:54.000 No one needs...
02:47:55.000 None of these people need more money.
02:47:57.000 What does that mean?
02:47:59.000 Matt Damon's crypto commercial gets ridiculed for comparing crypto investments with space travel.
02:48:04.000 Oh, that's why.
02:48:06.000 It's a cringe word.
02:48:07.000 Well, let's play the commercial.
02:48:08.000 Because I haven't seen it.
02:48:09.000 Have you seen it?
02:48:10.000 I think I've seen it.
02:48:11.000 I haven't seen it.
02:48:12.000 Have you seen it?
02:48:13.000 Is it cringy?
02:48:14.000 I don't know.
02:48:15.000 No, not necessarily.
02:48:16.000 But I mean, if you want to say that, that investing in Bitcoin is the same as scaling Mount Everest, that's a little much.
02:48:22.000 Is that what he said?
02:48:22.000 I don't know if it's cringy.
02:48:23.000 No, but I've seen the commercial.
02:48:25.000 It's like...
02:48:26.000 Let's watch it.
02:48:28.000 ...with almosts.
02:48:30.000 With those who almost adventured, who almost achieved, but ultimately, for them it proved to be too much.
02:48:39.000 Then, there are others.
02:48:40.000 The ones who embrace the moment...
02:48:45.000 And commit.
02:48:46.000 And in these moments of truth, these men and women, these mere mortals, just like you and me, as they peer over the edge, they calm their minds and steel their nerves with four simple words that have been whispered by the intrepid since the time of the Romans.
02:49:12.000 Fortune favors the brave.
02:49:18.000 Crypto.com.
02:49:20.000 Hmm.
02:49:21.000 That's silly.
02:49:23.000 Now, by the way, I'm a giant Matt Damon fan, so that said, I don't get upset because I really like him.
02:49:28.000 I like watching him.
02:49:29.000 He's a great actor, but that's a little cringy.
02:49:33.000 What's so...
02:49:33.000 I don't know.
02:49:34.000 I think...
02:49:35.000 It's dumb.
02:49:36.000 If I was doing that commercial, I'd go, guys, guys, guys, isn't there another way to sell this?
02:49:40.000 We don't have to compare ourselves to fucking Christopher Columbus and Neil Armstrong here.
02:49:44.000 This is nonsense.
02:49:45.000 And that couple that was about to kiss.
02:49:47.000 Or they've got to climb Mount Everest.
02:49:50.000 But isn't the point that they're making is that, look, you've got to get in on the bottom floor.
02:49:56.000 Yes.
02:49:57.000 Fortune favors the brave.
02:49:58.000 Yes.
02:49:59.000 For sure.
02:50:00.000 But, is that really the way to do it?
02:50:02.000 Compare yourself to the fucking people that left Earth's atmosphere?
02:50:07.000 Rocket into fucking space?
02:50:08.000 No.
02:50:09.000 It's not the same, bro.
02:50:10.000 There were also, like...
02:50:12.000 You're buying dogecoin.
02:50:13.000 They were also comparing themselves to colonizers, too.
02:50:16.000 That's good, too.
02:50:16.000 Can you see that boat?
02:50:17.000 It's like, you can conquer foreign lands.
02:50:19.000 Yeah, you could bring slaves to the beach of a new place.
02:50:22.000 Isn't that what all advertising is, though?
02:50:26.000 In some way, right?
02:50:29.000 It's like manipulated exaggerations and...
02:50:33.000 Yeah.
02:50:34.000 I don't know.
02:50:35.000 I mean, it's just...
02:50:35.000 A lot of jazz.
02:50:35.000 I think it's interesting.
02:50:36.000 I think it's interesting how culturally...
02:50:40.000 Certain things are considered...
02:50:44.000 Acceptable.
02:50:45.000 Yes!
02:50:46.000 Yeah, it is interesting.
02:50:47.000 And it changes depending upon the culture.
02:50:49.000 By the way, it's like the, you know, a lot of reality shows seem to be taking advantage of people, right?
02:50:56.000 Taking advantage of people that are, maybe they want it, but like some of them have, you know, maybe they're struggling with some issues.
02:51:05.000 Mental health issues.
02:51:06.000 And why is that okay?
02:51:07.000 Well, you're talking to the guy who hosted Fear Factor for six years, so maybe you need to talk to someone else.
02:51:12.000 No!
02:51:12.000 No!
02:51:14.000 Because you want to talk about being a hypocrite.
02:51:15.000 If I was like, yeah, they shouldn't do that.
02:51:18.000 No, but look, I'm a hypocrite too.
02:51:20.000 I'm not even calling you a hypocrite.
02:51:23.000 I'm talking about like, I'm asking a sincere question.
02:51:26.000 Why are certain things...
02:51:29.000 Why are people piling up on him when...
02:51:33.000 I mean, they're barely piling up.
02:51:34.000 They're barely piling up, right?
02:51:36.000 It's not going to affect them.
02:51:37.000 If Jason Bourne 3 comes out next week, no one's going to give a fuck.
02:51:40.000 And by the way, it's like the Lakers...
02:51:43.000 The new home of the Lakers is the crypto.com.
02:51:48.000 Anyway, I'm a primary...
02:51:50.000 What if it was revealed?
02:51:52.000 I'm a primary shareholder.
02:51:55.000 No, I think it's...
02:51:57.000 I'm curious to see where all this cryptocurrency stuff ends because I had Andreas Antonopoulos on my podcast years ago when Bitcoin was just like some thing that people talked about on the internet and I had no I was like well let's get a guy on and understand and they so they call him Bitcoin Jesus and he came on and explained it to me and long ago Andreas was Paying all of his rent,
02:52:21.000 all of his bills.
02:52:22.000 Everything he did was through Bitcoin.
02:52:26.000 Everything.
02:52:27.000 Is he held on to that?
02:52:29.000 I think he does.
02:52:30.000 I think he has held on to it.
02:52:31.000 So that NFT that's right in your room there, how much is that worth?
02:52:37.000 Well, that's a digital piece of artwork from Beeple.
02:52:42.000 And so that is not really an NFT, right?
02:52:45.000 It's just digital art.
02:52:47.000 Okay.
02:52:48.000 There's an NFT associated with it, to explain it, as you're asking.
02:52:53.000 So there's a QR code, if you see it sometimes, because it changes screen.
02:52:58.000 What Beeple's done, see that QR code?
02:53:01.000 I guess if you go there, it explains it to me.
02:53:02.000 I don't know.
02:53:03.000 I'm never going to look at it.
02:53:04.000 But I love looking at the art, and what Beeple has done is, what's really fascinating is he's actually putting together an actual museum filled with things like this, and larger ones, too, of digital artwork.
02:53:17.000 And the digital artwork changes.
02:53:19.000 It moves around.
02:53:20.000 It goes black and white.
02:53:22.000 It zooms in and out like you see here.
02:53:25.000 So it's cool to look at and it's a completely new kind of art.
02:53:29.000 Because it's not just digital art in terms of like he made an image or he made a video.
02:53:34.000 But he's actually putting it in this form, this really cool frame.
02:53:39.000 And it moves around and it captures your mind and your eyes while you're watching it.
02:53:46.000 The colors change on it.
02:53:48.000 It's just dope.
02:53:49.000 It's so funny, because it's like, if you cut to 30 years ago, it's called a flat screen TV. Do you know what I mean?
02:53:57.000 It's just the technology is like...
02:53:59.000 Yeah.
02:54:00.000 And that's where I look at NFTs and crypto and I'm like...
02:54:05.000 I do too.
02:54:06.000 I'm like, maybe, one day.
02:54:07.000 Did the window close already?
02:54:10.000 I don't think so.
02:54:11.000 Did it close?
02:54:12.000 I mean...
02:54:12.000 It's definitely not closed, but we're not in on the ground floor.
02:54:18.000 It's similar to the stock market, right?
02:54:21.000 We were talking about Tesla.
02:54:24.000 I remember when Tesla was whatever X amount, and I'm like, yeah, it's too expensive.
02:54:29.000 Now it's like if I would have bought any, I would have covered my kid's college.
02:54:34.000 Well, people have those stories about Apple, getting out of Apple early on, and if they held it today, they'd have $500 million.
02:54:46.000 Yeah.
02:54:47.000 It just hurts your head just thinking about it.
02:54:48.000 How about people that have had Bitcoin in hard drives and then they threw the computer out.
02:54:53.000 There's a guy who's been digging through a landfill for eight years because in that landfill is a half a billion dollars worth of Bitcoin.
02:55:02.000 Wow.
02:55:04.000 Yeah.
02:55:05.000 Ouch.
02:55:06.000 This dude's digging into a fucking landfill.
02:55:09.000 He's got like a crew working for eight years to try to find a hard drive.
02:55:14.000 And who knows what kind of deteriorated state the hard drive's going to be in if he actually does find it.
02:55:19.000 Wow.
02:55:21.000 And then the guy who told him it, he goes, oh, did I say that landfill?
02:55:26.000 I meant that landfill!
02:55:28.000 He's got a bunch of union guys going, just keep working slow.
02:55:32.000 Keep this fucking job going.
02:55:34.000 What is the longest episode you've done?
02:55:37.000 Kevin Smith, probably.
02:55:39.000 That was like five hours.
02:55:42.000 Something like that.
02:55:43.000 We're at three hours, so we should wrap this up while people still enjoy it.
02:55:47.000 Duncan Trussell.
02:55:47.000 That's what I thought I was.
02:55:48.000 How many did he do?
02:55:49.000 Five hours.
02:55:50.000 Five hours.
02:55:52.000 We're going to do five hours.
02:55:53.000 Five hours and 19 minutes.
02:55:54.000 Let's wrap this up.
02:55:55.000 All right, all right.
02:55:56.000 Joe's like, I got to go home.
02:55:58.000 Your new Netflix special is available.
02:56:00.000 Oh, this is what I wanted to ask you.
02:56:02.000 You've done something interesting before we wrap this up.
02:56:05.000 You have experimented when Netflix was like at the leader of the pack where everybody wanted to do a Netflix special.
02:56:13.000 You're like, meh, maybe I'll test the waters other places.
02:56:16.000 And you put them up on Amazon.
02:56:19.000 What was that experience like?
02:56:21.000 It was good.
02:56:22.000 I mean, I think that there is...
02:56:26.000 It's shifting.
02:56:27.000 Going along with, you know, when stand-up, you know, when we started, it was, you know, YouTube didn't exist.
02:56:36.000 The internet wasn't really a thing.
02:56:39.000 And so when I went to Amazon, and I also did one on-demand show, It was good.
02:56:46.000 But, like, there is also an audience.
02:56:49.000 It's like finding an audience for this thing.
02:56:52.000 I mean, I care about my special being seen.
02:56:55.000 And I think Netflix is great.
02:56:58.000 I already have five other specials there.
02:57:00.000 So it was also, you know, these specials, you're like harvesting crops.
02:57:08.000 So there's different markets.
02:57:10.000 And so Netflix is this huge monolith.
02:57:14.000 They have such an appreciation for comedy, which I think is a reflection of Ted.
02:57:20.000 So they get it.
02:57:22.000 But there is part of me, it's like in three years, who knows?
02:57:24.000 We might be sitting here and there might be some other outlet.
02:57:31.000 But yeah, it was a great experience.
02:57:32.000 But I also like the fact that I'm coming to Netflix and It's been a couple years, so I'm kind of new.
02:57:40.000 You know, like new is pretty important in the entertainment industry.
02:57:43.000 We all looked at you doing that like you were jumping onto a new ice shelf.
02:57:47.000 Like, look at them go.
02:57:48.000 Yeah.
02:57:49.000 Look at them out there.
02:57:50.000 I mean, Amazon, there were a lot of, I mean, there's a lot of people that saw it.
02:57:54.000 It was a big risk.
02:57:56.000 I mean, again, my kids are going to be fine.
02:57:58.000 Amazon Prime is still enormous.
02:57:59.000 Yeah, it's enormous.
02:58:00.000 It's huge in England.
02:58:01.000 Think about Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
02:58:03.000 There's been hit shows on there.
02:58:04.000 Huge in Germany, huge in India.
02:58:09.000 But I think stand-up for the English-speaking world, I think there's not much that can compete with Netflix.
02:58:16.000 No, it's the king.
02:58:17.000 Yeah.
02:58:18.000 Yeah, that's the top of the food chain.
02:58:20.000 Alright, Jim Gaffigan, you're the shit.
02:58:22.000 Appreciate you very much.
02:58:23.000 Always fun to hang out with you.
02:58:24.000 Thank you so much.
02:58:25.000 We should do this more often.
02:58:25.000 Appreciate it.
02:58:27.000 That's it.
02:58:28.000 Bye, everybody.