Joe Rogan is back in Austin, Texas! Joe's been in LA for a few days and decided to take a drive down to his old stomping grounds, New Jersey. Joe talks about his time in LA, how he got into stand-up comedy, and what it's like growing up in the 90s and early 00s in the Big Apple. Joe also talks about how he ended up in New Jersey and why he decided to move down there from Los Angeles to be closer to his friends and family, and how it's a great place to grow a family. Joe also explains why he doesn't want to move back to LA and why it's not a bad place to be in LA at all. Joe Rogan's back in Texas, and it's great to see old friends and talk about old times in LA. Enjoy the episode and Joe's back! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The 500 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Produced in Los Angeles, CA and produced by Riley Braydon Trammel. All rights reserved. Used w/ permission from Native Creative. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your stuff. Thank you for supporting this podcast. I'll be looking out for you in the future with a shoutout. XOXO and all future episodes will be on the next episode of the 500 is coming out soon. - The 500 Podcasts Podcasts by Native Creative, Inc., with thanks to Native Creative Commons and Native Creative . - Joe Rogans Podcasts, Inc. and the Native Creative Credit: is a proud sponsor of the New York Times in partnership with Native Creative Media, & Native Creative Espresso and Native Coffee Roasters, LLC. in the next podcast is a new podcast coming out in 2020. New York City, California, New York, NY. , New Jersey, NY, LA, NJ, and Texas, CA , San Francisco, PA Chicago, CA, and Boston, NY and LA, MA NYC, PA, NY and Los Angeles LA, NY & Boston, MA, NY , NY New Jersey Boston, Canada, PA.
00:01:41.000You know, the one time that I visited you in New Jersey and we had dinner at Il Nido, that fantastic Italian restaurant near your house, I wouldn't move either.
00:03:04.000When everything went down, I just wanted to get out of L.A. When I saw Burbank and what was going on in Burbank, I was like, you know what?
00:03:12.000I don't want to raise my daughter here anymore.
00:05:02.000And everybody is confused, and everyone's trying to figure it out, and along the way, some people figure it out faster than you, and they take off.
00:05:09.000You know, some people, they fucking, they never make it.
00:05:12.000There's guys that we've known forever that are funny guys, that for whatever reason, they never really pieced it together.
00:05:19.000It's fucking a hard way to make a living.
00:10:13.000Like, when you drink, like, if you go to fucking one of those freezy joints where they make the freeze and they Give you a lot of alcohol content.
00:10:20.000The next day, you get hungover more on the sugar.
00:10:41.000Bacon cheeseburger and a giant milkshake and it would I know it was the milkshake because after I ate the milkshake I had a headache I had to sit down I felt like shit like and I'm like is this just cuz I'm old or is this just when when I was younger with that you're good sure it's gonna catch on fire When I was younger,
00:11:00.000I used to have a milkshake and it never affected me.
00:11:56.000I drank a gallon of that Giulio, the Gallo brothers, when I was like, stole it from Albertsons, took that motherfucker to Hudson County Park, and I drank it, throwing bottles of pigeons and shit.
00:12:07.000I went home that afternoon, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.
00:12:59.000When you're sitting at a table with a bunch of people drinking fucking old fashions and mimosas and There's times when drinks are almost necessary, like a cold beer sometimes.
00:13:09.000Cold beer sometimes just feels like it's necessary.
00:13:23.000We used to go to this place, Chan's Dragon Inn, we used to get fucking zombies with steak on a stick and egg rolls and fucking, oh my god, shrimp toast.
00:13:35.000You want to drink beer with a nice pork sandwich, an Italian pork sandwich with sausage and peppers and fucking a nice cold, cold Budweiser in a can.
00:13:45.000That's a place I haven't been to in forever, is Little Italy during the feast.
00:13:51.000I didn't go last year, I'm not gonna lie to you, I didn't go.
00:13:58.000My buddy who came to me today, James, that's the last feast I went in 84. For people who don't know what it's like, you go to Little Italy in New York and you walk down the street and there's these like carts set up and they got like sausage sandwiches, sausage and peppers,
00:14:16.000you know, some of them is sausage with marinara sauce.
00:15:40.000Right next to the little jukebox machine where you could put money in and you'd press the buttons to get it to go and you'd see the record move over and drop in.
00:16:07.000That's a real thing in the whole New Jersey, New York area.
00:16:11.000The diner experience has not changed, except that they close at 11. They do?
00:16:18.000Yeah, now because of COVID, I guess, they close at 11 in Jersey.
00:16:21.000But when we got here in August, It took like two weeks to get settled, then we moved into a house.
00:16:28.000And like the second week, we went out with a bunch of kids to the Manalapan Diner, and I had the fucking disco fries, and the kids went fucking nuts.
00:16:38.000With the french fries, with the mozzarella cheese and the gravy, they went fucking nuts.
00:17:45.000Listen, you know, I didn't do the research before the surgery because, I'll tell you what, if I would've done the research, I would've chickened that.
00:18:07.000The other day somebody hit me with one of those his okodachis, whatever to fucking throw, when they hit your leg, you know, like when they fucking go to sweep you.
00:21:01.000And he's like, it really strengthens the knees and the legs in a unique way going backwards.
00:21:06.000And I've found that to be probably the best thing for my knees.
00:21:10.000And so I do it with, now, because he told me he did it with every workout.
00:21:13.000So I'm trying to do it like basically three or four days a week now at least.
00:21:17.000I walk backwards on the treadmill slowly.
00:21:20.000And then we go outside, we do the pull, and then I just do, like, knee bends with my heel to touch the floor, and we kept raising the stuff.
00:21:29.000And then I go see my buddy, Dave Batone.
00:21:31.000He hits it, like, once a week with the laser.
00:21:35.000So my left knee, the arthritis I had, I gotta be honest, I don't feel it anymore.
00:25:31.000It ain't gonna work, you know, but you could try them.
00:25:35.000You gotta remember, I lived in Boulder, where all those motherfucking granola people are like, you know, no, I'm gonna have...
00:25:41.000And Doug, the birthing center in Boulder was across the street from the hospital for a reason.
00:25:48.000Because those bitches would fold weekly.
00:25:51.000Those women were going there, yes, you know, I go to yoga, I'm spiritual, I just want to have the kid fucking naturally, and it was right across the street from the hospital for a reason.
00:26:00.000If you go to Boulder right now, the hospital is like two minutes from the birthing center, because they tap out.
00:26:08.000They get there with their sandals, the long hair under their armpits.
00:27:38.000Our period of development inside the womb is like nine months, but then you're not mobile for like another year or so, you know, in terms of like being able to walk.
00:27:49.000It takes a long ass time to get a little kid to walk.
00:27:51.000Chimps come out and they're pretty fucking good to go.
00:27:54.000I mean, they're, you know, they're moving around pretty quickly.
00:27:57.000We also come out with a lot of fat on us.
00:28:58.000So, it's hard to imagine as a person living in the 21st century agreeing to surgery with the hope of anesthesia and yet prior to the discovery of ether, anesthesia in 1846, all surgeries from minor to major or absolutely radical were performed on people who are wide awake.
00:29:12.000Oftentimes head down the operating table, Held down by men whose only job was to ignore the patient's pleas, screams, and sobs so the surgeon could do his job.
00:29:23.000There's some fucking horrific film scenes of surgeries where they do on people where they have to saw through bone and the guy's like biting down on a leather strap and screaming and they have to saw his arm off because he's got gangrene.
00:31:17.000And I was on the couch watching it at home eating like fucking a sandwich and the next thing you know it's four in the morning and there's a show about Christon.
00:33:56.000But Mike Tyson, in his prime, in those years from like, what was it, like 86, 87 to 89, 90, whatever those years were, where he was just storming the gates, I put that Mike Tyson up against anybody who ever lived.
00:35:36.000He had the need because he wasn't getting any love in his life until he was 13 years old, had his horrible life.
00:35:42.000Then all of a sudden he gets adopted by one of the greatest boxing minds of all time, who's also a hypnotist, and takes him when he's at his most vulnerable, like he has the most need, right?
00:37:51.000You know, he's always got a suit in Italian after fights and promoting fights.
00:37:54.000And because he was such a craftsman and such a great defensive fighter, he's got full control of his faculties, doesn't have problems with his words, you know?
00:48:56.000The odors, the fucking, you know, I went to great concerts growing up, and I think that's what, because I never went to a comedy show before I got on stage.
00:52:45.000And I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy at that point.
00:52:48.000And it wasn't until the arrest, after the arrest, when I got out, that comedy was in the horizon, and then I still put it off for two years.
00:52:57.000But I thought you basically called the club and just went down there and did an hour.
00:53:00.000So you thought that Stephen Wright doing the same material was crazy?
00:53:05.000Well, listen, I mean, when you see comics, like, that's one of the things that a lot of the kids that worked at the door, at the store, told me.
00:53:13.000They go, it's crazy, like, you see comics, like, great comics coming over and over and over again.
00:53:17.000You see them do the same act over and over again.
00:53:19.000It kind of takes the magic away, but it shows you how it's done.
00:53:26.000That's one thing about that thing, that gig for up-and-coming comics.
00:53:31.000Mitzi was very smart in that she hired comics to work the door and hired comics to do the ticket booth and work inside the club so you could see great comics over and over again.
00:53:43.000And you would have your spots, your little spots you would do after the show was over or on potluck night.
00:54:18.000Chris Rock would just go up to 30 fucking people and work out his shit, fuck around.
00:54:24.000And if you're a comic and you're a door guy and you've been doing comedy like two years and you're just trying to survive, you're eating ramen every day.
00:54:32.000And meanwhile, you're 13 feet away from one of the greatest comics of all time, which popped in at 1 a.m.
00:54:48.000Damon Wayans was the first guy I ever saw that was, like, a real...
00:54:52.000Like, I'd seen guys who were at the store when I first moved there that were, you know, decent comics, road comics, club comics, you know, guys who had been around for a while, but I hadn't seen anybody that was, like, really good that had been, you know, on HBO or anything like that.
00:55:08.000Other than Dom Herrera, I'd seen Dom Herrera live a bunch of times.
00:55:11.000But to see him at the comedy store like that, it was like, wow.
00:55:15.000To see him working out material, it was like, whoa, this is crazy.
00:55:19.000Like, you're getting a chance to see these guys craft what you know is going to be a great HBO comedy hour someday.
00:56:04.000Now all of a sudden she's on Saturday Night Live.
00:56:06.000That happened with so many comics who were there as employees and made their way through and became very successful.
00:56:16.000It's one of the beautiful things about that place and one of the incredible...
00:56:20.000Mitzi's understanding of maniacs and her ability to manage all these fucking loonies and get them together and figure out how to extract the best comedy out of them.
00:57:12.000I fucking put a glass of water for her.
00:57:14.000And I realized how important it was for me to walk in there.
00:57:18.000At the end of the day, the reason why I have you as a brother, my wife as my wife, my daughter, and my comedy career is because of the fucking comedy store.
01:04:29.000But that was, I think, when you said he was very vulnerable, I think that was the line of the movie that just made me cry.
01:04:36.000When he was walking, he took a sip of something, and he goes, you motherfuckers don't know, you don't know what I know that you motherfuckers been saying about me.
01:08:38.000When I was 19, I was dating this girl, and we were sitting in front of my house, we were sitting in my car, and I had a cassette player, and we were playing, I think it was just called Dice, the first one, the first cassette.
01:14:53.000So those dudes hung out at the store that robbed the bank.
01:14:55.000And they had a cell phone place down there, so I would bring them hot cell phones, and they're like, you gotta go do the comedy act theater player.
01:15:01.000And they took me to the comedy act theater one night.
01:15:08.000Like, I always said that you're the first guy that I ever saw that, like, hit a switch and went from having rough sets a lot, you couldn't figure out how to be yourself on stage, Killing like you went you you jumped like five levels It was the weirdest thing I ever seen like you figured out how to be yourself on stage and I don't know what it was and I've always had my suspicions that it was like you got Tired of waiting for
01:15:38.000like Hollywood to cast you in something and you got tired of like dealing with agents and and like holding yourself back and And you allowed yourself to be yourself, the Joey that we always knew in the back bar or in the parking lot.
01:15:53.000You were always the guy who was making everybody laugh.
01:15:57.000We would just gather around and talk shit with you.
01:15:59.000And you would go on stage and you would tense up.
01:16:22.000If I have to tell you what really turned the corner for me, and I hope young comics are listening so they know what this is, it was 50% of that, no, let's lie to you, 30% of that was hosting at the store, 70% and a strong 70%.
01:20:16.000And that's why I never wanted to become those guys.
01:20:19.000I knew early on When shit gets that bad, you got to get out of comedy.
01:20:24.000If you're going to walk around and get mad at Taylor Tomlinson because she got a standing ovation, you know, some new comedy, you got to cheer those motherfuckers on.
01:20:33.000What about my little pot smoking girl?
01:22:00.000Those days, the early days before you made it, you were working on your act and you were trying to get it to a place where you were a real professional, you know?
01:22:08.000And you were trying to do it while you're, you know, you don't have You don't have any idea what's gonna happen.
01:22:35.000Because I was already expecting failure.
01:22:37.000I was already expecting to fuck it up some way.
01:22:40.000I never thought I'd get in a TV show or a movie, so I figured I'd be an extra.
01:22:45.000And when they put me on the store, dog, I get to look you in the face and tell you, there's a lot of times I pulled up to the store in the daytime, and there'd be 10 bottles of fucking booze out there, which I could have taken, and sold for half price at any liquor store in the area.
01:23:44.000It was like the great attractor that was pulling you across the country.
01:23:48.000So one of the things that happened to me when I got a television show is that I was just happy it was going to be in L.A., So I'd come to LA. Because I'd gone to the Comedy Store before, one time, and I sat there.
01:24:00.000And I sat in the back of the crowd and I watched.
01:25:46.000You're the one that told me you gotta get on stage every night.
01:25:48.000All right, all right, I'll be down there.
01:25:49.000And he come down, and I remember one fucking Sunday night, there were these Chinese guys heckling him and shit, and he was talking about fucking going to a restaurant and eating.
01:32:44.000We were going to call it the cuddle party, but then it became Protect Our Parks because Ari kept talking about some park in New York City that was going to get taken out, and it got taken out after he talked about it.
01:32:55.000Apparently, people didn't want it, but it didn't matter.
01:34:28.000I know, but you were always a guy, like before all of us, that was sick of that system, the Hollywood system.
01:34:35.000You were always making fun of the agents that would come around that would promise you the moon and all these executives and all these people that would come around and watch shows and hee-hee and ha-ha.
01:34:50.000It was good for a period of time and then we all figured out what we were going to become.
01:34:56.000You know, once you realize the direction you want to take this, and you were the leader of that, like people going, I don't want to act anymore.
01:35:03.000I don't want to play the piano no more.
01:38:11.000If you could go, like, if guys are doing, like, BMX flips, you know, guys are practicing for those things, how many of those guys get hurt?
01:38:23.000Well, why is it okay if they get hurt, but it's not okay if you go to a park where you're reasonably certain you have a good chance of getting hurt?
01:38:32.000It's basically people paying to have the same kind of risk factor as you would do if you were doing something else crazy.
01:38:53.000Because you went and you got a helmet, you got a bike, and you got the whole thing, instead of just going to this place?
01:38:58.000This should be a place where it's fucking risky, right?
01:39:03.000If you had a locked down, solid contract, where no matter what happened to you, you couldn't sue them, they could make a place like that again.
01:39:16.000But I don't think they would ever be able to hold one of those contracts in court.
01:39:25.000If I remember correctly, there's a lot of people telling them you can't do this for kids, and people are like, give a fuck, it's the 80s, we're doing coke, we're making money, have fun, party.
01:39:33.000But the jumping off cliffs, like that thing, like the fact that they had a cliff dive, like that's just crazy.
01:39:40.000They built a cliff dive, and people could just jump...
01:41:31.000I mean, I don't know how their system works, but I've seen many an image of, like, court in England from back in the day film of dudes with wigs on, like, in our lifetime, right?
01:42:30.000It probably has a proper name but this just says like wig and it's just a wig.
01:42:33.000Well it looks like it back then too and that one it looks like the same thing but it looks more like a cloth like sometimes like that one if you go back what is that thing is that real that dude real see that looks like a rug like he's got a rug on his head like it looks it's woven like a carpet but what a strange tradition that the judges all have to dress like they're from a bygone era You know where all that wig shit happened?
01:43:00.000Where all the wig shit in Europe came from?
01:44:38.000You know how you meet someone and when you meet them, maybe you're in a bad mood or maybe they're in a bad mood or maybe something shitty happens and so you get off to a bad start right away with them.
01:44:49.000It's hard to forget that and go back to just being cool with each other.
01:45:18.000What I'm getting at is that this country is off in a bad way.
01:45:23.000And I think a lot of it came about during the Trump administration because the country was so polarized.
01:45:27.000There was such a big difference between the people that were happy that Trump was in office And the people thought that Trump being president is the end of civilization.
01:45:36.000And it's the worst thing that can happen.
01:45:45.000And there was a lot of people that just had to get him out of office.
01:45:49.000Biden wins and then they wanted to make lists of all the people that supported Trump.
01:45:54.000So you could, you know, all the people that were that voted for Trump, you never wanted to don't work with them, ostracize them from society.
01:46:01.000People are literally talking about making blacklists, you know, to like to ban people.
01:46:07.000Then I think it's gonna take a while before we realize like none of this is good for us Like none of this is good for us None of this is good for anybody and this idea that like one guy's your guy and the other guy's not your guy and when he's in all the people that are up that are with him are your fucking enemy and when he's him everyone in in everyone who opposes him is you that you got to fight them off like this is crazy talk and We're all just people in this together.
01:46:35.000And this polarization that we're attached to right now with everything, with everything we do, with politics and with the environment and the way you eat and what you do and how you decide if someone's a boy or a girl and whether or not people should be able to compete in sports that match their gender and what are we going to do if the ocean levels rise?
01:47:38.000Well, listen, we just went through two years, and not only two years that were rough on this country and the world, but for some, like a couple weeks ago, it was Christmas, everybody was getting COVID. And my friend called me.
01:48:45.000We don't know what's coming and what's going.
01:48:48.000Your kids at home now, if they call, you have to keep your kid at home for five fucking days and change your plans because they had a contact.
01:49:23.000Because why do all these fights on planes all of a sudden?
01:49:26.000Well, I just think there's so many people that are tense, and when you force them to wear a mask on a plane, and some people don't want to comply, you get people angry already anyway.
01:54:08.000The people that were starting to drive me, listen, go to any fucking airport in the country and you could tell the gate that's going to LAX. You can tell.
01:57:18.000But he walked us to luggage and make sure we were separated.
01:57:21.000It's funny when people get intense arguments like that on a plane, but I think a lot of it has to do with the stress level of being on a plane.
01:57:48.000They're about to get on a goddamn plane.
01:57:50.000I was fucking high at a Gil once, getting out of Aspen Airport, and some guy cut me off, and I swear to God, I was throwing everything I could at him.
01:59:07.000You have to fucking hit the brakes, right?
01:59:10.000They're not supposed to jaywalk, but if it's like a stop sign or if it's like a parking lot or something like that, they're supposed to have the right of way.
01:59:17.000So as she's walking across the parking lot, technically she's in the right.
01:59:21.000And this guy came inside and said, come out to the parking lot so I can run you over.
02:00:18.000If we all, whatever you can do, you don't have to do anything crazy, but whatever you can do, if you can exercise.
02:00:23.000If everybody exercised, we would drop so many of the problems that people have with stress, with anxiety, and then health, health benefits.
02:02:35.000It closes at midnight, you dumb motherfuckers.
02:02:39.000So Tuesday nights I always left because of Joe's Pizza.
02:02:43.000My gift to me, if I did good during the week working hours, I would go to Joe's on Tuesday at the Triple E show and the original and get a slice of pizza.
02:05:49.000Like, cryotherapy, I used to do, it was like 250 degrees below zero for three minutes, and I'd just be in there freezing my dick off, and it's real.
02:05:58.000Like, it really does something for you, 100%.
02:06:00.000And I think the full with the head in is amazing.
02:06:03.000And the feeling that you get, like the rush that you get is wild.
02:06:08.000But there's something about the cold plunge that seems even harder, because you have to breathe through it.
02:06:16.000You know, you're in there, you're breathing, you're like...
02:06:20.000You're all tense and shit, and you're trying to calm down, and your whole body's like, get me the fuck out of here.
02:06:55.000First time I discovered cold outside or anything like that was the master swimming program in Boulder because it's year-round and it's outside.
02:07:03.000They swim outside in the middle of the winter?
02:07:31.000How bad is chlorine in the pool for your skin?
02:07:35.000Like, when you get a guy like a Michael Phelps or something like that, who's a professional swimmer, and they're swimming every day, like, what is it?
02:07:42.000Rise your skin destroys your fucking head, dude.
02:08:19.000I would sit there with my fucking socks off, just rolling my feet in the grass, the fungi toenail in the grass.
02:08:27.000And there was a kid in there, I swear to God, the thing that impressed me the most was it was a big, they had three or four pools, they got a basketball court, they make heroes there.
02:09:27.000So I started swimming with him and shit, but there was a guy in the pool that's autistic, and I would talk to him every day because I thought it was cool, like, just to talk to him.
02:11:20.000Well, when you get great at anything, anybody that's at a high level In anything it has to be obsessed you have to be obsessed with that thing and if you Have the kind of mind that can just focus on one thing whatever it is surfing whatever it is like there's people that could just focus on one thing and they They're just not they're not a regular person in that like they have they have the ability there's people that have ability to just Continually
02:11:50.000do something to get it better and better and better past all the stress past all the Anxiety past all the shit that's involved in it and then with fighting It's also the danger and then the injuries you're getting cut up like both the Diaz brothers have massive scar tissue because they just been in so many wars and I really gotta hand it to those savages,
02:12:25.000Nate's still active, and Nate's still awesome.
02:12:27.000I mean, Nate almost knocked out Leon Edwards in the fifth round of a crazy fight.
02:12:32.000I mean, he hurt him bad in that fifth round.
02:12:35.000Nate's still at the top of the food chain, but Nick had one fight back against Robbie Lawler, and it just didn't necessarily look like he was doing it because he wanted to fight.
02:12:43.000He was doing it because he probably needed some money.
02:12:46.000That's the thing that you hate to see for any fighter.
02:12:49.000You want to see the Nick Diaz when he was Strikeforce champion.
02:12:53.000The Nick Diaz when, you know, I mean, he was fucking amazing, dude.
02:12:57.000Like, a lot of people forgot the Strikeforce days, like when he armbarred Cyborg.
02:13:01.000Like, we had that war with Paul Daley when he had, like, I mean, Nick Diaz when he beat up Frank Shamrock.
02:13:09.000I mean, Nick Diaz was a motherfucker in those days.
02:13:54.000That's the thing, like a lot of these guys, unfortunately, we were talking about BJ or any of these guys, like when they get past their prime and then they're still competing, you get a distorted sense of who they are.
02:14:04.000But that's a lot of fighters, that's how they go out, man.
02:14:17.000They knocked out Tito Ortiz in that boxing match, beat Julio Cesar Chavez Jr., That guy's a world champion.
02:14:24.000That guy's a legit world champion boxer.
02:14:26.000He beat him, and the Tito knockout was incredible.
02:14:31.000Anderson's in his 40s, deep in his 40s, and he's still...
02:14:35.000I mean, he's not just fighting at a high level as a boxer, but I wonder, if Anderson had started his career as a boxer instead of a Muay Thai fighter, became a UFC champion, he might have been one of the greatest boxers ever.
02:14:50.000Anderson's that good of a fighter that he's so good with his hands and he was so elite when he was in his prime.
02:14:58.000You think that level of elite when he knocked out Vitor, he could be good at anything.
02:15:25.000I really wonder, because it's hard to tell, because he's in his 40s.
02:15:28.000It's hard to tell, but he's so good now.
02:15:30.000I mean, it makes me think, like, what would he have been like if he, you know, just from the beginning of his career, just did nothing but boxing?
02:15:37.000I thought he was really natural with his hands.
02:17:17.000And in those days, there wasn't a lot of leg lock submissions in MMA. It was kind of rare.
02:17:25.000And then there was a few guys, and then Husamar Palhares came around.
02:17:30.000And Palhares started ripping people's legs apart.
02:17:33.000He was the first guy that I could remember ever in the UFC where people were absolutely terrified to fight him because they thought they were going to get crippled.
02:17:43.000Husamar Paul Hares was so good at leg locks and he was my height, but four feet wider.
02:20:12.000It was amazing technique and ridiculously strong.
02:20:15.000He was so fucking strong that he would get a hold of guys and they would just be in terror because they knew they're going to have to get knee surgery.
02:20:22.000You're like, if you don't tap, and even if you do tap, he's going to hang on a couple of seconds.
02:23:00.000So he got his back here, and he starts beating him up.
02:23:02.000I mean, like, when you know the level of grappling that Sakuraba had, and again, this probably was Sakuraba, like, a little past his prime, but if you know the level of grappling that Sakuraba had, to watch Mayhem, like, do this, and pose, and do the fucking, the hook'em horns in the middle of the fight...
02:23:19.000And just beat the shit out of Sakuraba and then eventually submit him.
02:23:23.000So he softens him up with punches until Sakuraba gets into a position where he can submit him.
02:23:57.000You know, those older guys, past their prime, whatever, when they come from a wrestling or like a jiu-jitsu base, they're stronger than fuck.
02:25:01.000His brother used to run this body modification extreme website where dudes get like bolts put in their head and shit and slit their tongue down the middle.
02:25:10.000You know, dudes who did that, his brother run that website.
02:25:13.000And dude, I'm telling you, he has the biggest hands I've ever experienced in my life.
02:26:44.000The truckers were gonna get together on Super Bowl Sunday.
02:26:47.000I heard they were gonna go to LA. Yeah.
02:26:49.000I heard they were gonna go from LA and they're gonna drive all the way to Washington DC. If they had the GoFundMe, they had 10 million bucks.
02:27:08.000GoFundMe tried to just give it out to various...
02:27:10.000I think they said they were going to give it out to various charities, and then they changed their mind upon severe backlash, where people were furious.
02:27:18.000Like, they didn't donate money to any charity.
02:27:21.000They donated money to the Canadian truckers.
02:29:05.000It better not be more than you're giving those people who you're...
02:29:11.000There's a website, I think, where you can look up the different charities and how much they give.
02:29:16.000And each charity has a different percentage that they give to the crimes, or to the causes, rather.
02:29:24.000And I think some of them are pretty good.
02:29:26.000You know, some of them, they're probably funded by billionaires and shit, and so they have plenty of capital, and they don't necessarily...
02:29:34.000The money that comes in, they could give a lot of it to whatever the cause is.
02:29:40.000Because some people, they'll fund a philanthropic venture like that.
02:29:45.000It's a good tax write-off, and it's also a good way for them to feel good about their money.
02:31:23.000Even a charity that, like, say 10% of the money gets to the cause, that's still 10% of the money that wouldn't have gotten to the cause if those people didn't work at it.
02:31:35.000Like, there's a lot of charities that I'm sure, if you looked at the number, like, how much of the money that comes in goes to administrative costs?
02:34:58.000They factor in advertising for other movies and shit into their budgets.
02:35:05.000Like, I think they do some weird shit with numbers that infuriates people.
02:35:10.000I'm glad I never had to experience that.
02:35:13.000Arguing with a bunch of lawyers about how much money your movie actually made versus how much, you know, how much you're supposed to get off the back end.
02:35:24.000They were arguing that with the Matrix movie that came out.
02:35:26.000Like, the people, I think they were promised it was going to be in theaters, and HBO's like, we didn't promise it was going to be in the theater, and, like, they're Well, didn't Scarlett Johansson have a problem with that?
02:37:04.000But the thing is, if you have a nice TV at home and you could just get it off of Apple TV, wouldn't you rather?
02:37:12.000At this point in your life, maybe if it's a comedy movie, like we're talking about if someone's doing stand-up, You wanna go to the movies and see it?
02:41:08.000And we'll only hunt what we need to live on, same as the Comanche does.
02:41:12.000And every spring, when the grass turns green and the Comanche moves north, you can rest here in peace, butcher some of our cattle and jerk beef for the journey.
02:41:21.000The sign of the Comanche that will be on our lodge.
02:43:00.000Like, he went from the earlier spaghetti Westerns and, like, evolved the art form and then came back and did the Unforgiven, which is the...
02:49:03.000This motherfucker did a South American tour, and the first thing he does when he lands is meet with a vocal coach so he can get the dialect from that city.
02:52:59.000I just did a little bit of everything.
02:53:01.000Like, dog, when you first got off the fucking plane, like, I had to devour the shit that I was missing for years, which is Chinese and pizza.
02:53:18.000I always loved how consistent their spare ribs were.
02:53:21.000The spare ribs were always, they had that, like, beautiful smoke ring on them, whatever the fuck they were using for barbecue sauce, and...
02:53:30.000They give you the little fucking noodles to dump in the egg drop soup.
02:53:34.000When I lived in Boston, we used to love going to the Chinatown restaurants after the comedy clubs were closed because they were open late, late at night.
02:58:33.000And some little guy turned around, somebody gone.
02:58:35.000He's like, you're not allowed to go to Chick-fil-A. That's why I wrote that, because I actually went home and went online and read about why people were mad at them.
02:58:45.000Yeah, they oppose gay marriage or something?
03:01:24.000Think about how much loot they're missing out on.
03:01:28.000You know, I think that every large chain, like, I think, like, there's something, like, if you go to Utah, when I went to Utah, they would tell them, they put you up next to the Olive Garden.
03:01:38.000And I was talking to the guy at the hotel, he goes, you know, that's the number one Olive Garden in the country.
03:01:43.000More people got an Olive Garden here, to that particular Olive Garden, than anywhere else in the country.
03:03:51.000But you could buy weed seven days a motherfucking week, and that's all that matters.
03:03:56.000Now everybody's fucking New York's next.
03:03:59.000Yeah, I can't believe New York has held on this long.
03:04:01.000It's amazing to me that New York doesn't have legal weed.
03:04:04.000The amount of money that they would generate, the amount of tax money alone, And also, people that are smoking weed are always going to smoke weed.
03:04:13.000Especially with it legal in New Jersey, it's real easy to get.
03:04:16.000But what pisses me off is they got a state that is doing it by the book called Colorado.
03:04:21.000Colorado does it to such an extent, they were even sending tax returns in September.
03:04:27.000You know, there were $300 checks, but who doesn't want $300 in September from the local government?
03:04:32.000Between the weed and the gambling, These cities, look, New York City, New York State made 1.2 billion in gambling since January 6th, since gambling got passed in New York.
03:06:00.000And that's why I even had it on my podcast, because I'll tell you why.
03:06:06.000When I'm a regular fucking Joe and I call Joe Rogan to put a bet in, Joe will say, yeah, I'll put it in for you, but what time are you dropping off the money?
03:06:14.000But even when you call your bookie on Tuesday and you go, hey, man, can I put some action in with you this week?
03:06:21.000Yeah, you don't have to collect till the following Thursday.
03:06:24.000The week goes from Tuesday to Tuesday after Monday Night Football.
03:09:50.000You know, you got the cheap ones, Agua Caliente, and all those on the 710. You know, where we used to do comedy with the one place, the Chinese Mafia place on the 710, the Bicycle Club.
03:13:28.000You go in the back of a store, they push open a fucking bookcase and you go down a hallway and there's like some secret room where everybody's looking up and they're all smoking cigarettes.
03:13:37.000There was one in Harlem that you pulled your car into the garage and it would put you to the warehouse.
03:15:06.000It's for the tax purposes, because once you make over, I don't know, whatever it is, like $600, they either have to keep it or send you a 1099. That's interesting.
03:15:15.000So if you placed a bet while you were in the state of Pennsylvania, does that mean you owe them money?
03:19:04.000Did you see this come out a couple weeks ago?
03:19:05.000NYPD had a secret fund for surveillance tools.
03:19:09.000Documents reveal the police bought facial recognition software, vans equipped with x-ray machines, and Stingray cell site simulators with no public oversight.
03:19:21.000There's a story within the last couple weeks, I'm trying to remember exactly what happened, but they tracked whoever it was and caught them using license plate camera things and followed them around the city and found their location.
03:20:35.000Like if they catch someone planting a car bomb somewhere, this is a good for instance, and you can show on a video somehow or another the people that planted the car bomb, and that car bomb blows up and a bunch of people die, shouldn't you be able to find out who planted that fucking car bomb?
03:23:07.000The thing that freaked me out about it was it was a fun show, fun episode, but you could kind of get people to go along with something like that.
03:28:11.000The beating is tremendous, and he throws a beating on her, cuts her face, and turns her into a hoe in a Mexican prison, and he has to fucking save her.
03:31:00.000It was funny, we went over there to play pool, and we went to this steakhouse just because we found it online, and so we're eating there, and he goes, are you here to see Brewer?
03:31:09.000The chef came over and said, hi, I said, I thought he moved to Florida.
03:31:13.000And he goes, he did, but he's doing stand-up across the street.
03:32:15.000So first they start in Brooklyn, then they go to Staten Island, or they start in Staten Island, they go to Brooklyn, then they move to my area.
03:32:23.000And they bring their sandwiches and their food, like Nona's.
03:32:26.000You know, all those restaurants on the 9 are all Staten Island businesses.
03:32:31.000You know, so, dog, it's just tremendous.
03:33:59.000Everybody makes a short rib rag, dude.
03:34:02.000That old fucking, when it comes out, that osteria, when they bring it out, the dish weighs 50 fucking pounds.
03:34:08.000When you put it in your refrigerator with the bag and the aluminum foil, the next morning you open it in your refrigerator like, fuck, it smells like an animal in there.