The Joe Rogan Experience - April 29, 2022


Joe Rogan Experience #1811 - Brendan Schaub


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 18 minutes

Words per Minute

206.58151

Word Count

40,972

Sentence Count

4,759

Misogynist Sentences

99

Hate Speech Sentences

85


Summary

In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about their favorite things they like to drink and talk about some of their favorite movies and tv shows. They also talk about how they met and became friends with the late, great comedian Brian Callen, and how he taught them a thing or two about wine and their mutual love of good ol' fashioned hardboozers. They also get into a little bit of wine and a lot of other stuff, and then they talk about what they like and don't like about wine, and what they do with it and how they don't drink it. It's a good one, and it's a fun one, so don't miss it! Joe Rogans Experience is a podcast by day, hosted by the legendary comedian and stand-up comedian, J.O.R.J.A.K.E.D.D., and by night by night, where they're drinking and talking about all things wine and other things related to wine and liquor and other stuff that's good and not so good. . This episode features: 1:00:00 - What's your favorite wine? 2:30 - What s your favorite thing to drink? 3:15 - How does wine taste? 4:10 - How do you like wine and beer? 5:00 -- What do you think about wine & liquor? 6:30 -- What does it taste like to you? 7:20 -- How does it make you feel? 8: What s good? 9: How does your wine taste like? 11:15 -- What are you drinking it? 12:20 - How much wine does you like it better? 14:40 -- What is your favorite kind of thing? 15:00 16:10 -- What s the worst thing you're drinking right now? 17:40 - What is the best thing you like to do with wine and/or are you trying to do? 18:20 19:30 -- How much do you drink with your wine and are you're trying to learn about wine 22: How much you like your wine & other things? 21:00 | How much of your wine is better than your wine ? 26:40 27: Is it better than you're going to try to drink it? 26:10 Is there a wine that tastes better than yours?


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:05.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:13.000 It's tough to keep up with that NFT shit.
00:00:15.000 Yeah.
00:00:16.000 I bet Jamie's into it.
00:00:18.000 We're up and rolling.
00:00:19.000 Jamie's into it.
00:00:19.000 Jamie is aware, but you're not investing.
00:00:23.000 You've got a few weird ones.
00:00:26.000 You got more?
00:00:27.000 I have one of the big ones.
00:00:28.000 What do you got?
00:00:29.000 I have a mutant ape.
00:00:33.000 Which is not the biggest.
00:00:34.000 I'm not going to put it out there it's the biggest.
00:00:36.000 One of the big ones.
00:00:38.000 Okay, how's that a big one?
00:00:39.000 Oh, by the way, this vodka, or excuse me, this whiskey you have, this Tiger Thick.
00:00:45.000 Tiger Thick.
00:00:46.000 It's very good.
00:00:46.000 Thank you, bro.
00:00:47.000 I was surprised.
00:00:48.000 Thank you.
00:00:48.000 I was ready for some bullshit last night.
00:00:50.000 When you busted it out, I was like, because I got it offered.
00:00:55.000 There was a thing that was going on with me.
00:00:57.000 Cheers, brother.
00:00:58.000 Love you, man.
00:00:58.000 Love you, too.
00:00:59.000 Thank you.
00:00:59.000 Great to see you.
00:01:02.000 But I've been, you know, people have sent me stuff.
00:01:06.000 Like, try this out.
00:01:07.000 Would you like to get involved?
00:01:07.000 I'm like, whoa, I don't know.
00:01:09.000 I don't think this is good enough.
00:01:10.000 This is good.
00:01:12.000 This is legit.
00:01:13.000 It's like it tastes aged.
00:01:15.000 It tastes like- Which it is.
00:01:16.000 Yeah.
00:01:17.000 Yeah.
00:01:17.000 Ten years Japanese aged whiskey.
00:01:19.000 It's the first blend of Japanese whiskey, American bourbon.
00:01:22.000 It took three years just to get the licenses from the alcohol companies in the United States was such a beast.
00:01:30.000 And then you're talking about years of trial and error, trying what I like, what I don't.
00:01:33.000 It was fun, though, man.
00:01:34.000 You nailed it, though.
00:01:35.000 Thanks, brother.
00:01:36.000 It's very good.
00:01:36.000 Smooth.
00:01:37.000 It's smooth, but it's different.
00:01:38.000 Yes, sir.
00:01:39.000 It's a different taste.
00:01:41.000 I mean, I'm not a whiskey wizard.
00:01:45.000 I don't really understand.
00:01:46.000 Barnett is.
00:01:47.000 Barnett knows a lot about whiskey.
00:01:48.000 Dude, he took a sip of it, and I was like, Jesus Christ.
00:01:50.000 He's like, there's caramel.
00:01:53.000 It's one of those guys.
00:01:55.000 I'm like, what?
00:01:55.000 What?
00:01:56.000 What?
00:01:57.000 Excuse me?
00:01:58.000 Caramel?
00:01:58.000 Did I ever tell you the time I went on a fucking wine tasting dinner with my friend Matt?
00:02:03.000 No.
00:02:04.000 My friend Matt's like a legit wine connoisseur.
00:02:07.000 So much so that he had a birthday and on his birthday he had this wine tasting dinner and you would get like a flight of wines with each plate.
00:02:18.000 So it was like a fancy restaurant, so they bring like a little tiny little piece of something.
00:02:21.000 I've done like Napa.
00:02:22.000 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 I can't believe you went to that.
00:02:26.000 It's not my thing.
00:02:26.000 My friend, it was his birthday.
00:02:28.000 I love him to death.
00:02:28.000 So anyway, I wind up meeting this guy there.
00:02:33.000 And then years later, I'm watching this documentary about this guy that ripped off all these wine connoisseurs.
00:02:50.000 Exactly.
00:02:52.000 Exactly.
00:02:55.000 The way this guy fucked up is, the movie's called Sour Grapes, and the way the guy fucked up is he ripped off one of the Koch brothers, which is not a smart move.
00:03:05.000 Those guys got some capital, and they know how to move.
00:03:10.000 This guy had bought, I think it was more than a million dollars worth of fake wine from him.
00:03:15.000 Hilarious.
00:03:16.000 Brian Callen's the same way.
00:03:17.000 He loves wine.
00:03:19.000 But does he know it?
00:03:20.000 Does he understand?
00:03:20.000 He really does.
00:03:21.000 Don't get me wrong, he says a lot of bullshit to make us laugh, but when it comes to wine, he knows it.
00:03:25.000 And when I first started hanging out with Brian, what was this, 10 years ago around L.A., you know, he hangs around smart people, and I would feel so stupid, and I'd hang out with him.
00:03:35.000 But I'd watch him try wine, and I'd pick up on things they would say.
00:03:38.000 I'm like, oh, I'm going to use that next time.
00:03:40.000 And so, dude, we're at Scopa, Italian Roots in LA, and there's like all these fancy people, and they hand me the wine, and I'm swirling, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just copping, I'm swirling, I take a sip, I go, that's earthy, that is earthy.
00:03:55.000 And it worked, like it is earthy, I was like, oh my god, you guys are fucking...
00:03:59.000 Out of control.
00:04:01.000 Earthy.
00:04:01.000 That's my go-to.
00:04:02.000 Earthy.
00:04:03.000 I like wine that tastes good.
00:04:05.000 I've been drinking wine for decades.
00:04:07.000 I don't know what's going on.
00:04:10.000 I just go, I like this.
00:04:11.000 This is good.
00:04:13.000 This is funny with the whiskey.
00:04:15.000 It's crazy I have my own whiskey now.
00:04:17.000 I didn't drink my entire life, dude.
00:04:20.000 Being an athlete, never.
00:04:22.000 Nothing.
00:04:22.000 Drugs didn't touch it.
00:04:23.000 College football didn't fucking touch it.
00:04:26.000 And then, I don't know if you remember this, I was getting ready to do a set at the Comedy Store, and I was so nervous, and I was in the back bar, and you come here, what are you doing?
00:04:34.000 I was like, I think I had to follow up fucking Joey Diaz, I got like the worst, you know, spot.
00:04:39.000 And I was so nervous, and he's like, dude, take a shot.
00:04:42.000 You put too much pressure, take a shot.
00:04:43.000 I'm like, dude, I don't drink, just take a shot.
00:04:44.000 It was like Jack, you know, nothing great.
00:04:47.000 And then I took it, and I was like, I enjoyed that.
00:04:49.000 And I got there, had my best set ever for me at the time.
00:04:53.000 And then, you know, I believe in superstition, so then I was like, I'm just going to keep doing this.
00:04:57.000 Next thing you know, I got a bomb.
00:05:00.000 I got my own whiskey now.
00:05:02.000 I drink every night.
00:05:03.000 During the pandemic, I had a legit problem.
00:05:05.000 Because I got so into Yellowstone.
00:05:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:09.000 Bro.
00:05:09.000 I'm on season two.
00:05:11.000 I just got in.
00:05:12.000 Dude, and Rip, dude, I got so into it.
00:05:15.000 Dude, me and my girl, every night I would binge watch that.
00:05:18.000 I'd put on a cowboy hat.
00:05:20.000 I would go through a bottle of whiskey at night.
00:05:28.000 I'm surprised you didn't start looking at land in Montana.
00:05:30.000 I did!
00:05:33.000 And we go on vacation there now because of that show.
00:05:36.000 I wonder how many fucking people moved to Montana because of that show.
00:05:39.000 It's not a small number.
00:05:40.000 And I bet people in Montana are like, God damn it, you've ruined it for us.
00:05:44.000 Yeah, they're particularly proud of Montana.
00:05:48.000 Montana people are particularly proud and also they claim Montana.
00:05:52.000 This is our state.
00:05:53.000 I went hunting there once, and this guy wrote on someone's car something, like, in the dirt of someone's car.
00:06:02.000 Like, someone had, like, foreign plates.
00:06:03.000 Foreign meaning another state.
00:06:05.000 Foreign, yeah.
00:06:05.000 And the guy wrote, you know, like, fuck off from someone, Montana, born and raised.
00:06:11.000 All right, dude.
00:06:12.000 Like, just because the guy had a plate.
00:06:14.000 Bro, I've never gotten so much hate when I was, where was I? I was in Spokane.
00:06:19.000 But I stayed in Coeur d'Alene.
00:06:21.000 Oh, you crossed the line.
00:06:22.000 Yeah.
00:06:23.000 You went over to Idaho.
00:06:24.000 Went to Coeur d'Alene, which is like, you know, I don't know, an hour.
00:06:26.000 And Coeur d'Alene, if you've ever been there, it's gorgeous.
00:06:28.000 Gorgeous.
00:06:28.000 Like the Kardashians.
00:06:29.000 They didn't like it.
00:06:30.000 Dude, it's an amazing place.
00:06:33.000 During the height of the pandemic, out there, they didn't give a...
00:06:37.000 There was nothing, no masks, nothing.
00:06:39.000 No, it's Idaho people.
00:06:40.000 Dude, they didn't give a fuck.
00:06:41.000 But I go back on my show the following week, and I was talking about Coeur d'Alene and how great it is.
00:06:46.000 We've never got so many hate emails from people that live in Coeur d'Alene.
00:06:50.000 Like, hey, bitch, don't be telling everybody, man.
00:06:52.000 We don't want all you guys here.
00:06:54.000 Too late.
00:06:55.000 Like, leave the place like this.
00:06:57.000 Talking about...
00:06:58.000 Wrong reaction, because now you're talking about it here.
00:07:00.000 Now more people are going to hear.
00:07:01.000 Yeah, now I'm getting more hate from Coeur d'Alene.
00:07:03.000 Just don't read it.
00:07:04.000 But also, be cool, Coeur d'Alene.
00:07:06.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:06.000 Be cool.
00:07:07.000 It's a big commitment to move somewhere, Coeur d'Alene.
00:07:09.000 It's not like there's industry there.
00:07:10.000 No one's going to move there.
00:07:11.000 No, come on.
00:07:12.000 Be cool, man.
00:07:13.000 Yeah, people move.
00:07:14.000 Some people live there already, and then some people buy houses there for vacations and shit, or they want to escape the law.
00:07:20.000 And I love it, man.
00:07:22.000 Dude, Montana, Hawaii can keep it.
00:07:25.000 Really?
00:07:26.000 Mexico can suck it.
00:07:27.000 Really?
00:07:27.000 It's fucking Montana, dude.
00:07:29.000 Really?
00:07:29.000 And Idaho.
00:07:30.000 Oh, dude, you get on one of those.
00:07:32.000 Really, I love Coeur d'Alene, but as far as taking my family on vacation, we're like a dude ranch.
00:07:37.000 We're riding horses.
00:07:38.000 My son's doing archery and shit.
00:07:40.000 I'm eating bison every morning.
00:07:41.000 Wow.
00:07:42.000 It's great.
00:07:43.000 We went on a whitewater rafting trip in Montana.
00:07:47.000 It was fucking fun.
00:07:48.000 It's the best.
00:07:49.000 Yeah, like you're on this rap, and it's like wild shit, man.
00:07:53.000 You get into some wild waters, and you gotta hang on, you're getting sprayed, and you're bouncing off these fucking rocks with these inner tubes.
00:08:00.000 And your kids are with you, so you think about that?
00:08:01.000 I did the same thing with my kids.
00:08:03.000 So stressed.
00:08:04.000 Yeah, everybody's wearing vests and everything like that, but I'm worried about bears more than anything.
00:08:07.000 I worry about bears.
00:08:08.000 My thing was, there's a ton of bears.
00:08:10.000 Grizzly bears, right?
00:08:11.000 Yeah.
00:08:11.000 Yeah, up there.
00:08:12.000 But the thing was, for us, they would come around, and it's not like a hotel.
00:08:16.000 You're in your own little cabin.
00:08:18.000 Right.
00:08:18.000 It's in the middle of nowhere, dude.
00:08:20.000 Nowhere.
00:08:21.000 Dude, they knocked on the door like, okay, just want to let you know there's a giant male moose on the property, okay?
00:08:26.000 So just stay inside, but if you are going to go out, I just want you aware.
00:08:30.000 I'm like, fuck, male moose.
00:08:32.000 Dude, you hunt and shit, so maybe we've seen one.
00:08:35.000 I've never seen one in person.
00:08:37.000 Yeah, they're Jurassic.
00:08:38.000 So I called.
00:08:39.000 I said, hey, this might be a weird request.
00:08:41.000 My kids, they're dying to see it.
00:08:43.000 Will someone pick us up and try and find this thing?
00:08:46.000 Like, yeah, sure.
00:08:46.000 They pick us up.
00:08:47.000 So it's me and my two boys and my girl and my father-in-law.
00:08:50.000 And we're going around.
00:08:51.000 And then the lights hit this fucking thing.
00:08:53.000 Dude, it's 10 foot tall from the fucking hoof to the horn.
00:08:58.000 It was nuts, man.
00:09:00.000 They're so big.
00:09:01.000 I'm like, that's a fucking moose?
00:09:04.000 Yeah.
00:09:04.000 Like, yeah, daddy.
00:09:05.000 They're so big.
00:09:06.000 They're so big, and they're one of the rare deer species that will fuck you up.
00:09:11.000 That's what the guy was like, oh, they're so aggressive.
00:09:13.000 He's like, we wouldn't warn you if this was an issue.
00:09:16.000 Depending on mating season or whatever, whatever else is going on on the property, obviously we can't control if they fucking stumble on the property, but depending on what's going on, they can be uber aggressive.
00:09:28.000 It's very rare that elk are aggressive, but moose are very aggressive all the time.
00:09:33.000 I guess it's just the harsh climate that they live in.
00:09:37.000 Wherever moose are, I think grizzly bears are.
00:09:41.000 Well, that's not true, because there's moose in Utah.
00:09:45.000 There's no grizzly bears in Utah.
00:09:46.000 There's moose in New Hampshire.
00:09:48.000 No bears out there.
00:09:49.000 There's bears in Utah, though, right?
00:09:51.000 Black bears?
00:09:52.000 There's black bears.
00:09:53.000 There's black bears in Colorado, too.
00:09:55.000 Well, there might be grizzly bears in Colorado.
00:09:57.000 They've spotted unsubstantiated, but my friend Adam Greentree spotted one.
00:10:03.000 Got it on video.
00:10:05.000 It was in the San Juan Mountains, and there's been more than one sighting in the San Juan Mountains.
00:10:08.000 Of grizzly.
00:10:09.000 Of grizzly, yeah.
00:10:10.000 Which makes sense, because they do travel.
00:10:13.000 You know, they travel, and they find new territory.
00:10:15.000 Someone just died.
00:10:16.000 Some dude was out on his own hiking, and they couldn't find him, and then they discovered it was definitely because of a grizzly.
00:10:23.000 Oof.
00:10:23.000 Couldn't be a worse way to go.
00:10:25.000 You've seen the Reverend, and when he gets to eat, you know, ass first?
00:10:28.000 Dude, go for my face, man.
00:10:30.000 Don't eat me ass first.
00:10:31.000 They just start eating you.
00:10:33.000 They don't, like, kill you first.
00:10:34.000 That's the thing about a big bear like that.
00:10:36.000 They just hold you down.
00:10:38.000 Start chewing chunks out of you.
00:10:40.000 At least a cat kills you.
00:10:41.000 Yeah, right away.
00:10:42.000 Yeah, they just get your neck and they want to be able to...
00:10:45.000 They're efficient killers.
00:10:46.000 Bears just start eating.
00:10:48.000 Brutal, man.
00:10:49.000 Fucking brutal.
00:10:51.000 What are you going to do?
00:10:52.000 Not much.
00:10:54.000 So you're only on season two, though, of Yellowstone?
00:10:56.000 Yeah, I'm only on season two.
00:10:58.000 I'm jealous, dude.
00:10:58.000 I just got into it.
00:10:59.000 Because then you get done with that.
00:11:00.000 You got season three, four, which is lit as fuck.
00:11:02.000 Yeah.
00:11:02.000 And then there's 1883, the prequel.
00:11:05.000 The pre-prequel.
00:11:07.000 Right.
00:11:07.000 Same writer, Taylor Sheridan, who's the best.
00:11:09.000 Yeah.
00:11:09.000 He's the fucking man.
00:11:10.000 Puts himself way too much into the episodes.
00:11:12.000 Whatever.
00:11:13.000 Which one is he?
00:11:14.000 He's the main, like, horse guy.
00:11:16.000 He's the one selling the horses.
00:11:18.000 Oh, really?
00:11:18.000 Yeah, he's always on the horse.
00:11:20.000 Oh, interesting.
00:11:21.000 He rode it, too.
00:11:23.000 Yeah, my only issue with that is sometimes it's two balls deep in the horse, which if you're into that stuff, I bet people are like, oh, this is authentic.
00:11:32.000 But if you're not, it's like, alright, dude.
00:11:34.000 The horse stopping in the fucking sand and shit.
00:11:37.000 And he's just so into it.
00:11:39.000 But then that ranch, was it?
00:11:40.000 Super nuts.
00:11:41.000 Was that 6666 Ranch?
00:11:44.000 That's real.
00:11:45.000 You'll see as the season...
00:11:47.000 Don't tell me anything.
00:11:47.000 Well, I'm just saying that 6666 Ranch...
00:11:49.000 You already fucked it up.
00:11:49.000 I don't know what that ranch is.
00:11:50.000 You don't need to, but I'm saying...
00:11:51.000 But you already told me.
00:11:52.000 But it's a real ranch.
00:11:53.000 But now I'm going to find out about it.
00:11:54.000 No, no, I'm just saying it's going to make it even better for you because that's a legit fucking ranch.
00:11:58.000 People who tell you spoilers always tell you that.
00:12:00.000 Oh, it's not going to ruin it at all.
00:12:01.000 No, it's not going to ruin it.
00:12:02.000 Have you seen the new, speaking of spoilers, have you seen the new Batman?
00:12:04.000 Yes, I saw that.
00:12:05.000 It's great.
00:12:06.000 I liked it.
00:12:07.000 I liked it a lot.
00:12:08.000 Besides, I mean, The Dark Knight's the best of all time, but to me, that, I was, halfway through I looked at my girl, because, you know, we have kids who can't go to the movies.
00:12:14.000 I looked at my girl, I go, I pause, hold up, is this not the best fucking Batman you've seen?
00:12:19.000 It's a great Batman.
00:12:20.000 It's so good.
00:12:21.000 I thought it was the best one, but.
00:12:22.000 It's up there.
00:12:23.000 I say that, and then I need to go, like, watch the other ones.
00:12:26.000 Again, you know?
00:12:27.000 Like, with fresh eyes.
00:12:28.000 Like, sometimes when something's good and you're watching it, you're like, oh, this is pretty good.
00:12:31.000 You might get on the hype train.
00:12:33.000 The costumes are a little whack.
00:12:34.000 You think?
00:12:35.000 See, I thought it was more realistic.
00:12:36.000 At least Catwoman, like, she owned cats.
00:12:40.000 She wasn't going to be able to die nine times.
00:12:43.000 She barely covered her face.
00:12:44.000 Yeah.
00:12:45.000 She was too hot.
00:12:46.000 So I didn't want to, like, cover any of her face.
00:12:48.000 Just, like, a little tiny thing across her nose.
00:12:50.000 Yeah.
00:12:51.000 But then also the Riddler.
00:12:52.000 The Riddler was scary as shit.
00:12:54.000 With the glasses.
00:12:55.000 See, the Riddler to me was so creepy because he related to all the incels and this mob and bring him to the fucking stadium and shoot everybody.
00:13:08.000 It's like, yeah, that could definitely happen.
00:13:09.000 The problem with all those movies is you compare them all against the Joker.
00:13:13.000 And the Joker movie was so fucking good and so creepy.
00:13:19.000 The Dark Knight you're saying with Heath Ledger.
00:13:23.000 Well, no, the recent one with Joaquin Phoenix.
00:13:26.000 Oh, with Joaquin Phoenix?
00:13:27.000 Yeah.
00:13:28.000 That Joker is so good, but it's so creepy and such a good movie.
00:13:32.000 Todd Phillips just fucking nailed that movie.
00:13:35.000 And Joaquin Phoenix is crazy as fuck.
00:13:37.000 He's so good in that.
00:13:39.000 He's so good.
00:13:40.000 He must be insane.
00:13:41.000 He must be an absolute insane person.
00:13:44.000 There's no way he could be that good playing an insane person.
00:13:47.000 It's so good, dude.
00:13:48.000 It's so good.
00:13:49.000 But the point is, like...
00:13:51.000 That movie's so goddamn good.
00:13:54.000 And the bad, you know, the character's so believable and they build it up so well.
00:14:00.000 Like, it's hard to appreciate some of the...
00:14:03.000 Like, you don't know the Riddler's background.
00:14:05.000 All of a sudden he's a bad guy.
00:14:06.000 But if we knew as much about the Joker, like much about the Riddler as we do the Joker...
00:14:12.000 And then they had that in a Batman movie.
00:14:14.000 If they have a new Batman movie with Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker, that's going to be insane.
00:14:20.000 But did you see the new Joker?
00:14:22.000 So they flashed him just at the very end.
00:14:25.000 Spoiler alert.
00:14:26.000 They literally just flashed him right at the end.
00:14:29.000 But it's kind of blurry.
00:14:30.000 But on HBO Max, there's a deleted scene.
00:14:35.000 And it's him with the Joker for like six minutes.
00:14:37.000 And dude...
00:14:38.000 Fuck, it's good.
00:14:39.000 Oh, really?
00:14:40.000 Ooh, it's good.
00:14:40.000 A deleted scene with just him and the Joker?
00:14:42.000 Yes.
00:14:43.000 And it's very like Silence of the Lambs.
00:14:46.000 Remember where they use Hannibal Lecter to catch the other fucking serial killers?
00:14:52.000 Batman goes to him to give him the Riddler files like, I know you get off on this shit, maybe you can help me out.
00:14:58.000 Who plays the Joker?
00:15:00.000 I don't know.
00:15:01.000 But it's good, man.
00:15:03.000 I like how most of the people were people that you don't know their name.
00:15:07.000 Other than Robert Pattinson, most of the people were people you don't know.
00:15:11.000 You don't know the Penguin's name, but he's really good.
00:15:13.000 Colin Farrell.
00:15:14.000 That was Colin Farrell?
00:15:15.000 Yeah, how nuts is that?
00:15:16.000 Jesus Christ, really?
00:15:17.000 Isn't that nuts?
00:15:18.000 Couldn't tell.
00:15:18.000 You know what?
00:15:19.000 I actually knew that.
00:15:20.000 I forgot it.
00:15:21.000 That's how good he is.
00:15:22.000 Right?
00:15:22.000 Oh my God, the makeup's incredible.
00:15:24.000 Nuts.
00:15:25.000 Dude, think about the Batmobile.
00:15:27.000 Batmobile's pretty dope.
00:15:28.000 I saw the Batmobile.
00:15:31.000 Look at that.
00:15:32.000 That's incredible, man.
00:15:34.000 What kind of makeup did they do with him?
00:15:37.000 That car scene with him and that Batmobile, if you look up the Batmobile, it's actually the chassis of an old school Dodge Challenger.
00:15:46.000 Yeah, I heard about that.
00:15:47.000 That thing's legit.
00:15:49.000 Yeah, old school Dodge Challenger, and then they did a bunch of off-road shit.
00:15:53.000 Buy one, dude.
00:15:54.000 Fucking get one.
00:15:55.000 Seems like it's a wide thing to park.
00:15:58.000 Difficult to find.
00:15:58.000 Dude, in Austin, you'd be fine.
00:16:00.000 LA, I'd be fucked.
00:16:01.000 Here, you're good, dude.
00:16:02.000 Maybe.
00:16:03.000 You're good.
00:16:04.000 I don't need that in my life.
00:16:05.000 No?
00:16:05.000 Seems like a lot.
00:16:06.000 It'd be fun.
00:16:07.000 Yeah, I got enough cars.
00:16:08.000 You wouldn't feel like an asshole in that, would you?
00:16:10.000 I wouldn't.
00:16:10.000 You think?
00:16:11.000 No.
00:16:11.000 It's so loud.
00:16:12.000 Yeah, I feel like an asshole in my Chevelle.
00:16:14.000 Do you?
00:16:14.000 In the Chevelle?
00:16:15.000 It's so loud.
00:16:18.000 But the world's turning to fucking Teslas, man, and electric cars.
00:16:23.000 Yeah, but not totally.
00:16:26.000 This is why it's fun right now to have a muscle car.
00:16:31.000 It's like going out when you're 36 and you're still single.
00:16:35.000 It's like, this is the last days.
00:16:37.000 This is it, man.
00:16:38.000 This is it.
00:16:42.000 There it is.
00:16:43.000 Wow, look at that.
00:16:43.000 No, that's not it.
00:16:44.000 That's not it, dude.
00:16:45.000 Someone made one.
00:16:46.000 Oh, someone made one.
00:16:47.000 No, but this one's actually a chassis off a fucking 68 Challenger, I think.
00:16:51.000 Yeah, that one looks more like Christian Bale's Batman.
00:16:54.000 Like the Tumblr, like that.
00:16:55.000 Like the Tumblr thing or whatever.
00:16:57.000 Yeah.
00:16:58.000 That was dope.
00:16:58.000 That was the Christian Bale one.
00:17:00.000 The one with two wheels in the front.
00:17:01.000 But the one that Robert Pattinson has is much more like...
00:17:05.000 Realistic.
00:17:06.000 It's right there.
00:17:07.000 It's right above.
00:17:08.000 Right above.
00:17:08.000 Go above.
00:17:09.000 Above.
00:17:10.000 Right there in the...
00:17:11.000 That's a toy.
00:17:12.000 No.
00:17:12.000 Go next to it.
00:17:13.000 Go next to it.
00:17:14.000 Go next to it.
00:17:15.000 Second one in, Jamie.
00:17:16.000 Watch my finger.
00:17:16.000 There it is.
00:17:17.000 Click on that.
00:17:18.000 That's what it looks like.
00:17:19.000 That's a toy, but that's what it is.
00:17:20.000 That's what it looks like.
00:17:21.000 That's off old school chassis of a Dodge Challenger.
00:17:24.000 It might be a Dodge Charger.
00:17:26.000 Either way, it's fucking ridiculous.
00:17:26.000 It looks like a Charger.
00:17:28.000 Yeah, it's so done.
00:17:28.000 I think it's a Charger, but it's...
00:17:31.000 It was cool.
00:17:32.000 The whole movie was dark and mysterious and shadowy.
00:17:35.000 It was fun.
00:17:37.000 That means a little emo.
00:17:37.000 Yeah, a little emo.
00:17:38.000 A little emo.
00:17:38.000 Yeah, but it worked.
00:17:41.000 It worked.
00:17:42.000 I love a good superhero movie.
00:17:44.000 I'm corny.
00:17:45.000 You like Avengers and shit?
00:17:47.000 Love it.
00:17:47.000 You like Aquaman?
00:17:48.000 I like it when they bring in the Hulk.
00:17:50.000 Yeah, I like the Hulk.
00:17:51.000 I get that in the Hulk.
00:17:51.000 I didn't watch Aquaman because I'm not watching any movie with Amber Heard in it.
00:17:57.000 I'll tell you what I am watching is The Trial.
00:18:00.000 Dude, it's the best reality show of all time.
00:18:01.000 I think I need to spark a joint up before we're going to talk about The Trial.
00:18:04.000 Do it, bro!
00:18:05.000 Because I can't get enough of it.
00:18:06.000 It's literally...
00:18:07.000 It's amazing.
00:18:08.000 It's fantastic.
00:18:09.000 It's the best thing on TV. At first I was upset because, you know, I watched the news and they interrupted...
00:18:15.000 Ukraine getting bombed in the middle of a war with Russia.
00:18:18.000 It's like breaking news.
00:18:19.000 Johnny Depp, Amber Heard.
00:18:20.000 I'm like, oh God, what are we doing here?
00:18:22.000 I was like, let's see what's happening.
00:18:23.000 I was like, oh hell yes.
00:18:25.000 Sign me up, dude.
00:18:27.000 It's a cautionary tale for people that were thinking that it's worth it to date a crazy girl because she's great in bed.
00:18:34.000 This is my thing, though.
00:18:35.000 How great is she in bed that she can shit in your bed?
00:18:40.000 She can rip your fucking...
00:18:43.000 Index finger off!
00:18:45.000 She must be a real Tomcat in this act, dude.
00:18:49.000 I think he's probably a really nice guy and he had great moments with her and he keeps going back to those great moments and thinking they can get past all this craziness because Johnny, I don't know Johnny well.
00:19:03.000 I've talked to him before but I know of his career and I know of his love of Hunter Thompson.
00:19:09.000 And he's close with Stanhope.
00:19:12.000 Yeah, very close.
00:19:12.000 And that's how I know him.
00:19:13.000 That's how I've met him.
00:19:14.000 Well, I've talked to him.
00:19:15.000 I met him once personally in the comedy store, but I talked to him on the phone for an extended period of time once when he was dealing with all this shit.
00:19:21.000 And I think he's a really good guy.
00:19:23.000 That's what I think.
00:19:24.000 Yeah, I love him.
00:19:25.000 I think he likes chaos, though.
00:19:27.000 He likes doing cocaine.
00:19:29.000 He probably likes doing things he shouldn't do.
00:19:31.000 He probably likes driving fast.
00:19:33.000 He's probably an animal in some ways.
00:19:36.000 He just loves chaos.
00:19:38.000 And I think that's one of the reasons why he loved Hunter Thompson.
00:19:41.000 He loved a brilliant man who loved chaos.
00:19:45.000 And that's what Hunter was.
00:19:46.000 Hunter was this brilliant writer who was a cultural commentator.
00:19:53.000 Who also enjoyed getting, like, obliterated.
00:19:57.000 How long ago, Joe?
00:19:59.000 How long are we talking?
00:19:59.000 Well, Hunter killed himself in the early 2000s.
00:20:02.000 Okay.
00:20:02.000 After, what was it, like, 2010?
00:20:05.000 11 or something like that?
00:20:07.000 I forget what year he killed himself.
00:20:08.000 Okay.
00:20:09.000 But Johnny was friends with him.
00:20:10.000 Yeah.
00:20:11.000 And Johnny played him in the movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
00:20:16.000 Great movie.
00:20:17.000 Yeah.
00:20:18.000 He also narrated the Hunter Thompson documentary, which is...
00:20:22.000 Was it Gonzo?
00:20:25.000 Life in...
00:20:26.000 Yeah.
00:20:26.000 Died in 2005. What's that?
00:20:28.000 Died in 2005. In Colorado?
00:20:32.000 Yeah.
00:20:32.000 Yeah, he shot himself.
00:20:34.000 I mean, he was hurting at the end.
00:20:36.000 He had hip replacements, and he was in constant pain, and a life of doing drugs.
00:20:42.000 Like, hardcore drugs and alcohol obliterated his body.
00:20:47.000 So that was Johnny Depp's North Star, basically.
00:20:50.000 Yeah, that's his hero in a lot of ways.
00:20:52.000 I mean, Johnny Depp is...
00:20:54.000 I don't know the exact details, but he has a significant amount of Hunter Thompson memorabilia.
00:21:02.000 Like, he bought a significant amount.
00:21:04.000 When Hunter's wife was going to get rid of some stuff, Johnny stepped in and got it all.
00:21:09.000 I'm a fan.
00:21:10.000 Johnny paid for Hunter's funeral.
00:21:12.000 It was millions of dollars.
00:21:14.000 He built a cannon to shoot Hunter's ashes into the sky.
00:21:19.000 He has this logo.
00:21:23.000 I don't know if you've seen that Hunter Thompson for Sheriff poster that I have out there.
00:21:28.000 He has a logo that's a fist with two thumbs, like a mutant fist that has a mescaline tab in the center of it.
00:21:35.000 And that's his logo.
00:21:36.000 Jesus.
00:21:36.000 And so he made a giant cannon out of this logo.
00:21:43.000 Play this because this is Hunter talking about it.
00:21:46.000 They'll do it from the beginning because he's explaining to the mortuary how he wants this done.
00:21:52.000 It's hilarious.
00:21:54.000 So he's discussing his future demise.
00:21:57.000 God, this is dark.
00:22:03.000 Yeah.
00:22:04.000 And so...
00:22:07.000 That is different.
00:22:09.000 Yeah, so he just decided that he was going to do this, and Johnny Depp actually wound up doing it at his funeral.
00:22:17.000 Well, I mean, clearly he was going to blow his head off, though.
00:22:19.000 Yeah, so this is him.
00:22:22.000 I mean, this was a young hunter planning this out.
00:22:27.000 God, that is dark.
00:22:29.000 Yeah, and so when he got old and became friends with Johnny, I mean, Johnny's got...
00:22:35.000 All the fucking cash in the world.
00:22:36.000 So he decided to just do it.
00:22:38.000 So he spent millions of dollars building this fucking cannon and shooting Hunter's ashes into the sky.
00:22:44.000 That Jack Sparrow money.
00:22:46.000 I think one fucked him up too.
00:22:48.000 Look at that.
00:22:48.000 That's the rocket.
00:22:50.000 Jesus Christ.
00:22:52.000 This is crazy that he actually went and did this.
00:22:54.000 It's so dark.
00:22:55.000 I mean...
00:22:56.000 Music's all fun.
00:22:57.000 Johnny Depp is hilarious.
00:22:59.000 Just the fact that he did that is a legend.
00:23:01.000 I agree.
00:23:01.000 He's a legend.
00:23:02.000 Spent millions on it.
00:23:03.000 I'm a fan, man.
00:23:04.000 Look at this.
00:23:05.000 Think how long Johnny's been famous, too.
00:23:07.000 So he's gonna be wired a little different.
00:23:09.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:09.000 Yeah, it's not good.
00:23:10.000 It's like...
00:23:11.000 The way I've described it is like getting famous when you're really young and then trying to be a fully grown adult is like making cement, but you don't use all the material and it doesn't cure right.
00:23:21.000 You don't grow up in a realistic world.
00:23:24.000 No.
00:23:24.000 Like nothing's real.
00:23:26.000 Yeah, it's beyond.
00:23:26.000 And that's Ralph Steadman, the guy who's drawing it, who did all the Hunter S. Thompson artwork.
00:23:30.000 He's a brilliant artist.
00:23:32.000 And so he helped Hunter design it.
00:23:34.000 I don't know if he was...
00:23:35.000 But look at this.
00:23:37.000 This is the fucking canon.
00:23:40.000 I'm on Team Depp for life.
00:23:42.000 You hear me?
00:23:43.000 Yeah, me too.
00:23:44.000 Team Depp.
00:23:44.000 Yeah, man.
00:23:45.000 I mean, I wish you wouldn't wear eyeliner, but yeah, Team Depp.
00:23:48.000 And a little too many scarves, right?
00:23:51.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:23:52.000 Here's my thing.
00:23:53.000 I don't give a fuck anymore.
00:23:55.000 He can do no wrong in my book.
00:23:56.000 I'm a Johnny Depp fan.
00:23:57.000 If I was younger, I probably would have criticized him for it.
00:23:59.000 Now I'm like, yeah, look at that.
00:24:01.000 There it is.
00:24:02.000 This is super dark.
00:24:04.000 It's a wild move, man.
00:24:05.000 The guy shoots his fucking ashes into the sky out of a goddamn cannon.
00:24:08.000 It's a tough follow.
00:24:09.000 It's a glowing fist.
00:24:10.000 It's a tough follow if you die.
00:24:11.000 Yeah, how are you going to die?
00:24:12.000 And all these people go to his fucking funeral.
00:24:15.000 Bill Murray, who also played him in Where the Buffalo Roam, which is another fun Hunter Thompson movie.
00:24:20.000 But the guy was a writer.
00:24:21.000 Yeah.
00:24:22.000 And two different big-time movie stars played him in movies.
00:24:26.000 Jesus Christ.
00:24:26.000 Johnny Depp in fucking...
00:24:27.000 Yeah.
00:24:28.000 Bill Murray?
00:24:29.000 Bill Murray.
00:24:30.000 That's what a bad motherfucker Hunter Thompson was.
00:24:32.000 Bill Murray has some anger issues, huh?
00:24:33.000 I don't know, allegedly.
00:24:35.000 Maybe someone was a cunt on the set.
00:24:36.000 I agree, maybe they deserved it.
00:24:37.000 I'd like to hear both sides of the story.
00:24:40.000 Yeah, man.
00:24:41.000 There's people watching it from a distance.
00:24:43.000 Yeah, my funeral will not be like that.
00:24:45.000 Yeah, don't waste that money on me, man.
00:24:47.000 I'm out.
00:24:47.000 Yeah, I want to be buried without formaldehyde.
00:24:50.000 I want to become a part of nature.
00:24:51.000 I don't want to be fucking filled up with some toxic shit that doesn't let you rot.
00:24:57.000 No.
00:24:57.000 But you want to be buried?
00:24:59.000 Just throw me in the ground.
00:25:00.000 No box.
00:25:01.000 No box.
00:25:02.000 Yeah.
00:25:02.000 Yeah, keep it organic, man.
00:25:03.000 Just dig a deep asshole and chuck me in there.
00:25:06.000 No, just like, I guess, get like a, what do you have, a Hennessy?
00:25:11.000 Just get one of those big Hennessy trucks and then have like your fucking boys, your meaty boys, your security.
00:25:17.000 When I'm dead, just throw my body off fucking Laurel Canyon.
00:25:20.000 And then just wherever it falls, just let me go, dude.
00:25:22.000 And then when you drive by, just fucking salute that part.
00:25:25.000 You know, you ever see the Tibetan Sky Funeral?
00:25:27.000 No.
00:25:28.000 That's the darkest.
00:25:29.000 No, I don't watch funerals on YouTube.
00:25:31.000 Well, Tibetan Sky Funeral is not really a funeral.
00:25:34.000 What is it?
00:25:34.000 They're feeding you to vultures.
00:25:36.000 Hard pass.
00:25:37.000 Don't do that.
00:25:37.000 They take your clothes off, and they chop you up with, like, machetes and hatchets and shit.
00:25:43.000 They chop you up into chunks, and they leave you out there.
00:25:46.000 So, like, you would have to chop up Callan in chunks.
00:25:49.000 Be so easy.
00:25:50.000 And leave him.
00:25:51.000 Not just pull him.
00:25:52.000 He's so old, I just pull him like beef jerky.
00:25:54.000 Just like...
00:25:55.000 You take chunks and leave it out there, and there's all these...
00:26:00.000 There's video and photos of it, and it's...
00:26:04.000 The idea is that, you know, you're dead, and this is a way to incorporate you into the universe, into nature.
00:26:12.000 It's natural to have you...
00:26:14.000 I mean, I don't know if that's what their idea is.
00:26:16.000 Maybe there's, like, some religious aspect to it.
00:26:18.000 Those vultures are ready to go.
00:26:19.000 The vultures know about it.
00:26:22.000 The vultures know about it.
00:26:23.000 Of course.
00:26:23.000 Because this is how they get rid of bodies.
00:26:25.000 Vultures are bitches, though.
00:26:26.000 Dude, give me something better.
00:26:27.000 Like, test me with alligators or some shit.
00:26:29.000 Something like gnarly, man.
00:26:31.000 Lions.
00:26:32.000 I fucking hate alligators.
00:26:33.000 I don't want an alligator to eat me.
00:26:34.000 I'd rather have a bird.
00:26:35.000 A stupid vulture?
00:26:37.000 At least they can fly.
00:26:39.000 They operate in 3D space.
00:26:41.000 But also, dude.
00:26:42.000 They're like swimming in the ocean, but it's the sky and they can breathe in it.
00:26:46.000 Dude, also, that can only happen with small Tibetan people.
00:26:51.000 Nobody's carrying my big ass across the mountains to feed me to the vultures.
00:26:54.000 Well, they just get more people to do it.
00:26:56.000 But isn't it interesting that nothing smart can fly?
00:27:02.000 Is that true?
00:27:03.000 Crows are pretty smart.
00:27:04.000 Crows are pretty smart as fuck.
00:27:05.000 They're very smart.
00:27:06.000 Yeah.
00:27:07.000 But, like, humans and dolphins are considered like, well, we don't know, though.
00:27:11.000 See, the thing about crows is we always like to pretend that we know exactly how smart something is based entirely on what it can do.
00:27:19.000 Yeah.
00:27:20.000 And crows can do some really complicated tasks.
00:27:23.000 They can figure out how to solve puzzles.
00:27:25.000 But the thing is, they might be even smarter than that.
00:27:27.000 Yeah.
00:27:27.000 They might be, like, devious.
00:27:28.000 They bait shit in to feed, you know?
00:27:31.000 Well, they definitely do that.
00:27:33.000 They're smart with shit.
00:27:33.000 They talk cats into fighting each other.
00:27:35.000 You ever see those videos?
00:27:36.000 They're cool, man.
00:27:38.000 But I mean, I wonder if they have a language.
00:27:41.000 They probably have some kind of a language they can understand.
00:27:45.000 Because they say dolphins and whales do too, right?
00:27:47.000 They definitely do.
00:27:48.000 They have their own language and shit.
00:27:49.000 Complex.
00:27:49.000 Yeah.
00:27:49.000 We don't even understand how to decipher it.
00:27:51.000 Here, crows are self-aware and know what they know just like humans.
00:27:57.000 See, that's what I'm saying.
00:27:58.000 Almost no other species has that kind of higher intelligence.
00:28:01.000 Wow.
00:28:02.000 And they're fucking big, too.
00:28:04.000 Look what it says here.
00:28:05.000 They're getting pretty big.
00:28:06.000 In what now feels like an annual update, crows are even more surprisingly smart than we thought.
00:28:13.000 But do they have true consciousness?
00:28:14.000 New research shows that crows and other corvids know what they know and can ponder the content of their own minds, according to STAT. This is considered a cornerstone of self-awareness and shared by just a handful of animal species besides humans.
00:28:32.000 They got a bad rap, too, because in all the movies, they're like the...
00:28:35.000 They're evil.
00:28:35.000 ...vilified, right?
00:28:36.000 Because they're all black.
00:28:37.000 Well, it's also, it's like...
00:28:38.000 They look evil.
00:28:39.000 They were, like, the crow nose.
00:28:42.000 It was like, there's magic attached to it, witchcraft, crows.
00:28:46.000 Dude, when I'm on my bike, you know, back there in the fucking Santa Monica Mountains, there's some big-ass crows, man.
00:28:52.000 Yeah.
00:28:53.000 Big fucking crows.
00:28:54.000 Well, that's how you find dead things.
00:28:56.000 You find them hovering.
00:28:57.000 Yeah.
00:28:58.000 Crows and rattlesnakes, man.
00:29:00.000 Yeah, you find birds.
00:29:01.000 But for sure, if there's enough vultures, you'd find vultures.
00:29:05.000 But the vulture thing is a wild way to ensure that the body's going to be consumed.
00:29:12.000 But then the skeleton's still there, right?
00:29:15.000 They smash it up.
00:29:16.000 I don't know what happens to the skeleton.
00:29:18.000 God, it's dark, dude.
00:29:19.000 See if you can get some photos of it, of a Tibetan Sky funeral.
00:29:23.000 Because I remember this was one of those things that I first found out about in the early days of the internet.
00:29:28.000 You know, like in the early days of the internet where you like, you would just get sent things and it would change the way you looked at stuff.
00:29:35.000 Like, what?
00:29:36.000 The first thing I got was the Daniel Pearl.
00:29:38.000 Ooh, that was awful.
00:29:39.000 Oh, I ruined my fucking week, man.
00:29:41.000 That was awful.
00:29:41.000 That was an awful one.
00:29:42.000 Yeah, they copped those guys.
00:29:44.000 They call them the, what, the ISIS Beatles or some shit?
00:29:47.000 Those guys are...
00:29:48.000 Is that the same guy?
00:29:49.000 Yeah, they're fucked.
00:29:50.000 That was the guy that had an English accent?
00:29:51.000 Yeah, he's fucked.
00:29:52.000 I didn't know that that was the same guy.
00:29:53.000 Yep.
00:29:54.000 So these guys, it says don't take pictures.
00:29:58.000 Why wouldn't you take pictures?
00:29:59.000 That's interesting.
00:30:00.000 Why do you think they're there, dude?
00:30:01.000 Some random Americans?
00:30:03.000 But I mean, wouldn't you want this to be documented just to show?
00:30:06.000 Because what is wrong with making a photograph of something that's kind of important in how crazy it is in comparison to normal funerals?
00:30:17.000 This is weird.
00:30:18.000 The people are all standing there and they're...
00:30:22.000 What are they doing?
00:30:23.000 They're shooing away the vulture with those rags?
00:30:25.000 What are they doing?
00:30:25.000 Yeah, not yet, boys.
00:30:26.000 Is that what they're saying?
00:30:27.000 In this case, in this video, this is on National Geographic, there's tourists that are coming to watch this.
00:30:32.000 Damn, someone flew out there for this.
00:30:35.000 Maybe they don't want them to do that.
00:30:36.000 I don't know.
00:30:37.000 If you were in town, though, like, if you were in town, you wouldn't go see that?
00:30:41.000 Like, if you just happened to be?
00:30:43.000 Like, you're doing a show in Tibet.
00:30:47.000 Hey, man, tomorrow at 1, dude.
00:30:48.000 Hey, you know, Louis was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine.
00:30:52.000 I talked to him about it.
00:30:53.000 That's wild.
00:30:54.000 Dude, this is how wild of a boy he is, because he was at the shop and friends at the improv, and he did a guest spot there, and he was in the green room.
00:31:03.000 First of all, I can't remember the last time when there was a comic on stage and all the comics in the green room walked out and watched somebody's set.
00:31:13.000 I've seen it at the store when you're on, or Burr, you know, Joey Diaz.
00:31:17.000 Since then, it's been years.
00:31:19.000 Usually you just bullshit with your buddies, you know, in the green room.
00:31:21.000 And then when Louie was on, literally everyone was on the staircase at the improv.
00:31:26.000 And he just fucking absolutely annihilated.
00:31:33.000 And then also, I figured with what he went through, kind of changed his game up.
00:31:38.000 No, man.
00:31:39.000 Not at all.
00:31:39.000 What?
00:31:40.000 Not at all.
00:31:41.000 Maybe even better, because now he's doing it like he's young and upcoming again.
00:31:45.000 Maybe he's like, I got nothing else to lose.
00:31:47.000 Fuck it.
00:31:47.000 Then he comes back to the green room and he gets on his notepad and he's writing what worked, what didn't, and then did the late show and made adjustments.
00:31:54.000 So cool to see.
00:31:55.000 So fucking cool to see.
00:31:56.000 But between the shows we were talking, and he's like, yeah, it's weird.
00:32:01.000 You know, he was like, the media's reporting.
00:32:02.000 I'm still doing shows.
00:32:03.000 He's like, I was down to do it, even though they told me what was going on.
00:32:07.000 He was like, I was on a plane, dude, headed to Ukraine.
00:32:10.000 And then I guess it got worse.
00:32:12.000 And even then they told me, hey, the fans are outside, man.
00:32:15.000 They're here.
00:32:16.000 And he was like, even during this fucking...
00:32:18.000 They're getting bombed.
00:32:19.000 He's like, they're out here, man.
00:32:20.000 Imagine if he did the show.
00:32:21.000 Dude, then Louie goes, I'm still coming.
00:32:24.000 But then the plane, he said, was like halfway and then turned around.
00:32:28.000 He's like, but they told me they were there.
00:32:29.000 He was like, I'm still going to do it.
00:32:31.000 I was like, you're such a savage dude.
00:32:33.000 Well, Sean Penn was over there filming a documentary.
00:32:35.000 He was over there for quite a while.
00:32:37.000 That's weird, though, yeah.
00:32:39.000 Is it?
00:32:39.000 Is it?
00:32:41.000 You want a good documentary or not?
00:32:43.000 You gotta have a little ego.
00:32:46.000 Do you want a fucking good documentary or not?
00:32:49.000 First of all, who knows how to make movies better than Sean Penn?
00:32:52.000 Probably nobody.
00:32:52.000 He's made some fucking amazing movies.
00:32:54.000 And the guy's got balls.
00:32:56.000 He has balls.
00:32:57.000 He went down to fucking Mexico.
00:33:01.000 Yeah, he went down to Mexico, and he's also the reason El Chapo kind of got busted, right?
00:33:05.000 Kind of fucked El Chapo.
00:33:06.000 It's kind of the lady's fault.
00:33:09.000 But also, the Rolling Stones, and, you know, get involved with this, and also El Chapo.
00:33:14.000 What the fuck were you thinking?
00:33:15.000 Rolling Stone magazine, yeah.
00:33:17.000 Yeah, not the band.
00:33:18.000 But the fact that he had the balls to go down and meet El Chapo, respect.
00:33:22.000 Respect.
00:33:23.000 Look, the guy's off kilt.
00:33:25.000 Right?
00:33:26.000 I'm a fan.
00:33:26.000 Don't get it twisted.
00:33:27.000 He's tilted.
00:33:28.000 Yeah.
00:33:28.000 He's definitely like...
00:33:30.000 Yeah.
00:33:30.000 He's a wacky dude.
00:33:31.000 Yeah.
00:33:32.000 But he's the kind of guy that's willing to go to fucking Ukraine in the middle of a war.
00:33:39.000 Sean Penn's meeting with El Chapo was nearly his demise.
00:33:42.000 Oh, nearly Sean Penn's demise?
00:33:44.000 He got a lot of shit for that.
00:33:45.000 In what way?
00:33:47.000 Well, you met with the biggest fucking cartel leader in the world.
00:33:51.000 Right, but he met with them to do an article.
00:33:53.000 No, he met with them because El Chapo wanted Sean Penn to do the movie on him.
00:33:58.000 No.
00:33:59.000 That's why they met.
00:34:00.000 That's why they met?
00:34:01.000 Yeah.
00:34:01.000 Oh, that doesn't make any sense.
00:34:03.000 See if that's real, Jamie.
00:34:04.000 They would have to do him the way they did the Penguin.
00:34:06.000 There's no way he's going to really look like El Chapa.
00:34:08.000 They'd have to give him makeup.
00:34:09.000 I think he's going to look anything like him.
00:34:11.000 Oh, direct it.
00:34:12.000 Making a movie with El Chapa.
00:34:13.000 Penn was noncommittal about making a movie with or about Guzman.
00:34:17.000 He took the trip to Mexico solely to interview the king for Rolling Stone magazine.
00:34:20.000 That's what I thought.
00:34:21.000 See, he just hadn't shared the detail yet with Guzman, a man known for not enjoying surprises.
00:34:27.000 Okay.
00:34:27.000 Okay.
00:34:28.000 So he went there to film, to do an interview, but he hadn't told Guzman that he was going to do an interview with him.
00:34:35.000 Hold on, read this.
00:34:36.000 This is where he fucked up.
00:34:37.000 Is that what it says?
00:34:38.000 This is where he fucked up, Joe.
00:34:39.000 What?
00:34:39.000 Look at this quote.
00:34:41.000 This is hilarious.
00:34:42.000 Today I believe more in El Chapo than I do the governments that hide the truce from me.
00:34:47.000 Where does it say that?
00:34:49.000 Right here.
00:34:49.000 Oh, no, he didn't.
00:34:50.000 Oh, that wasn't it.
00:34:52.000 Doug Castillo wrote that on Twitter.
00:34:54.000 Oh, okay.
00:34:55.000 Thank God.
00:34:56.000 Imagine if Sean Penn went that deep.
00:35:00.000 Nuts.
00:35:01.000 But listen, the guy's got my respect.
00:35:02.000 He's got balls of steel.
00:35:04.000 He went to Ukraine in the middle of the war.
00:35:05.000 I don't care if he's a gigantic movie star.
00:35:08.000 I don't care if he's a wacky Hollywood elitist.
00:35:13.000 The guy went to fucking Ukraine.
00:35:13.000 Take some balls.
00:35:14.000 I agree.
00:35:15.000 Balls like steel.
00:35:17.000 And then on top of that, meeting El Chapo.
00:35:19.000 More balls.
00:35:19.000 The guy's got balls.
00:35:21.000 You gotta give it to him.
00:35:22.000 Yeah, the El Chapo thing, though.
00:35:24.000 Balls, but also, like...
00:35:25.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:35:26.000 It's scary as shit.
00:35:27.000 The guy murders so many people.
00:35:29.000 The El Chapo thing's all balls.
00:35:30.000 You're going to a Mexican drug kingpin's house.
00:35:34.000 Not just any drug kingpin.
00:35:36.000 The drug kingpin.
00:35:38.000 Yeah, the most famous one.
00:35:39.000 Savage.
00:35:39.000 Savage.
00:35:40.000 You know, El Chapo.
00:35:42.000 He's tiny.
00:35:43.000 Del Castillo, I believe, is the woman in this scenario.
00:35:46.000 She's the soap opera actress.
00:35:49.000 Who had a relationship with El Chapo, they say.
00:35:51.000 Yeah, El Chapo was a fan of her performance.
00:35:54.000 Yeah, so when she said that, that makes sense.
00:35:57.000 Dude, I was at a...
00:35:58.000 My girl, you know, she used to work for Telemundo or Televisión, one of the things.
00:36:03.000 And I was at an award show.
00:36:05.000 She was supposed to get this award.
00:36:08.000 And that girl was there.
00:36:09.000 And this was right around all that was going on.
00:36:11.000 And I saw her and I was like, oh, am I going to pick with her and say, jealous El Chapo?
00:36:16.000 And my girl goes, do not do that.
00:36:20.000 I was like, oh, it'd be funny.
00:36:20.000 She's like, no, it's not funny.
00:36:22.000 I'm telling you, it would not go over well.
00:36:24.000 Yeah, all it would take is one dude who wants to win a point.
00:36:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:28.000 They play by different rules.
00:36:29.000 And it's right there.
00:36:30.000 You can drive there from San Diego.
00:36:31.000 That's not far.
00:36:32.000 Not far at all.
00:36:33.000 And it's essentially run by drug lords.
00:36:37.000 But also, because you cut the head off the snake there with El Chapo, now it's just mayhem, dude.
00:36:44.000 I don't know enough about the politics of the cartels to comment on that, because they fight a lot, right?
00:36:51.000 Oh, I do.
00:36:52.000 Do you?
00:36:52.000 Yeah, because me, my girl, and the kids were just in Mexico.
00:36:55.000 You know, I stress out about it.
00:36:57.000 I was like, let's go to San Diego, man.
00:36:59.000 Right.
00:36:59.000 Like, if something happens, at least I can call some people.
00:37:02.000 Like, Mexico, we're fucked.
00:37:03.000 My anxiety when we were there, dude, was I couldn't sleep.
00:37:06.000 Yeah.
00:37:07.000 I couldn't sleep.
00:37:08.000 Couldn't sleep.
00:37:09.000 Yeah.
00:37:09.000 And then the last night we're there, we go to dinner.
00:37:12.000 And I haven't seen this the whole time we go to dinner.
00:37:14.000 And we're walking back in the...
00:37:17.000 One of the guys who works here greets us.
00:37:18.000 He goes, I'll walk you back to your room.
00:37:20.000 I go, that's nice.
00:37:21.000 But I see behind me there's a dude in all camouflage carrying an AK-47.
00:37:25.000 I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
00:37:27.000 I'm holding my son.
00:37:29.000 I'm at Boston.
00:37:29.000 He's two.
00:37:30.000 So I'm home like this.
00:37:31.000 I'm like, I'm putting him down just in case something pops off.
00:37:33.000 So I'm like, why the fuck is this guy falling?
00:37:35.000 So my girl's up in front of me, so I don't say anything because I don't want her to be stressed out.
00:37:40.000 So we get back to our little place and we go in there.
00:37:43.000 And then I didn't say anything because I didn't want to alert the family.
00:37:46.000 And the next morning I go, hey, when the homeboy comes back in here, because he only spoke Spanish, I go, Ask him why that guy with the AK-47 was following us last night.
00:37:56.000 She goes, what?
00:37:57.000 And I didn't want to tell you, but there was a guy following us back to the room.
00:38:00.000 So she talks to him.
00:38:01.000 Because he's following us, and as we get close to our little villa, he just disappears into the bushes.
00:38:06.000 Literally just walks on a different path.
00:38:09.000 And she asks him, he goes, oh, there's a high-profile celebrity on the property, and when he comes here, he hires his own security.
00:38:18.000 Holy shit.
00:38:19.000 And I was like, what?
00:38:22.000 That dude's that scared?
00:38:24.000 Holy shit.
00:38:24.000 What does he know that I don't know, man?
00:38:26.000 Yeah.
00:38:26.000 Jesus Christ.
00:38:27.000 And my girl got mad because I was like, you know, they're kidnapping people.
00:38:30.000 She's like, who the fuck's gonna kidnap your big ass?
00:38:32.000 I was like, you never know, man.
00:38:34.000 You never know.
00:38:34.000 Isn't that funny?
00:38:35.000 She's talking shit about kidnappings.
00:38:37.000 Kidnappings are real.
00:38:38.000 Me?
00:38:39.000 No, they're real.
00:38:40.000 Oh, for sure?
00:38:41.000 Kidnappings are real.
00:38:41.000 They really do kidnapping.
00:38:42.000 With Americans?
00:38:42.000 They're really good, though, about the tourist and resort towns for the most part.
00:38:47.000 They're not right now, though, Joe.
00:38:48.000 Like in Cancun?
00:38:49.000 And where's the main place people go?
00:38:52.000 Acapulco?
00:38:53.000 No.
00:38:53.000 Acapulco is some shit.
00:38:54.000 No, that shit where people go and they do weird shit.
00:38:57.000 Tulum.
00:38:58.000 Tulum.
00:38:59.000 Two people just died there.
00:39:00.000 People go where they can do real shit.
00:39:01.000 Yeah, they do drugs and shit there.
00:39:02.000 Yeah, people got caught up in a crossfire, right?
00:39:03.000 Did you hear why?
00:39:04.000 No.
00:39:05.000 Because, again, they're battling for that territory.
00:39:09.000 And when American tourists come, they want drugs.
00:39:11.000 So it becomes a big drug hub.
00:39:13.000 Well, the cartel provide the drugs.
00:39:15.000 So I guess they went to the main Tulum hotel restaurant and shook down the owners.
00:39:20.000 Like, yo, dude, cool.
00:39:21.000 We're going to take this much of a percentage and we're going to run this area.
00:39:25.000 He's like, nah, get the fuck out of it.
00:39:26.000 They're like, all right, cool, say less, dude.
00:39:28.000 And then they come back and there's, you know, it's the nice place of Tulum.
00:39:31.000 Cartel members like fucking margaritas and taquitos or whatever the fuck.
00:39:34.000 So they're chilling with the regular tourist.
00:39:37.000 Another gang sees them.
00:39:38.000 They just open fire and then two Americans die.
00:39:40.000 Jesus Christ.
00:39:41.000 Yeah.
00:39:42.000 So, you know, I think, but for the most part, and I did talk about this and we got emails where people were like, dude, you're more likely to get shot in LA, Detroit, and Chicago than you are in Mexico.
00:39:51.000 Like, Mexico's way more safer.
00:39:53.000 I get that, but I know how to navigate Chicago, Detroit, and L.A. Right, and you speak English.
00:39:57.000 I don't know how to navigate.
00:39:59.000 Sort of.
00:39:59.000 Sort of.
00:40:00.000 I mean, I'm not Jordan Peterson, but, you know, I'm not great.
00:40:04.000 I'm not a black man.
00:40:05.000 I always wonder when I watch you how often you have one of them little tobacco things in your mouth.
00:40:09.000 Every time.
00:40:10.000 Right now you got one.
00:40:11.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:11.000 Because it always looks like you have, like, dental work.
00:40:13.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:15.000 Give me one of them things.
00:40:17.000 Yeah, you got it, brother.
00:40:18.000 Is it a real problem, these things?
00:40:20.000 I love them.
00:40:21.000 Shout out to Rogue Nicotine, dude.
00:40:23.000 Do you know anybody with mouth rot?
00:40:25.000 No, you're not going to get cancer from these.
00:40:26.000 What are you, a doctor?
00:40:27.000 The fuck kind of statement is that?
00:40:30.000 I mean, you know, they are addicted.
00:40:31.000 They are addicted.
00:40:32.000 Is that good?
00:40:32.000 Yeah.
00:40:34.000 This one's berry.
00:40:35.000 This is a new flavor of berry.
00:40:36.000 I love them, dude.
00:40:37.000 Oh, dude.
00:40:38.000 You won't find a more intense flavor.
00:40:41.000 Listen, I don't...
00:40:42.000 You want one, Jamie?
00:40:45.000 Sure.
00:40:46.000 Yeah, come on, dog.
00:40:47.000 Get you some.
00:40:49.000 Dude, I don't know if it's because I got COVID, I'm just getting older, but I like intense shit like coffee.
00:40:54.000 Yeah, you had COVID. You can't smell anything anymore.
00:40:56.000 I can't taste anything.
00:40:56.000 You need to be poisoned.
00:40:57.000 Dude, spicy stuff, it can't get spicy enough for me.
00:41:01.000 Oh, I love spicy.
00:41:02.000 Yeah, I love spicy enough.
00:41:02.000 This is not bad.
00:41:03.000 This is honestly, no bullshit, all jokes.
00:41:05.000 No, these are not bad.
00:41:06.000 Yeah, rogues are the best.
00:41:07.000 You get like a buzz, like a cigarette buzz for those?
00:41:09.000 Yeah, because you know how like some comics will smoke cigarettes before they go on stage?
00:41:13.000 I do, you know, I'm not going to smoke.
00:41:15.000 I physically can't smoke a cigarette.
00:41:17.000 And you think that is...
00:41:18.000 Better for you, maybe?
00:41:19.000 Yeah, 100%.
00:41:20.000 100%.
00:41:21.000 Everybody thinks those vapes are better for you.
00:41:23.000 Who's everybody?
00:41:24.000 David Lucas.
00:41:25.000 Well, first of all, David Lucas is on tour with me.
00:41:28.000 I call him Vape Daddy.
00:41:30.000 At all times, he has six vapes on him.
00:41:33.000 Yeah, he has a lot of vapes.
00:41:34.000 I'll take a hit of it, but he has literally like...
00:41:36.000 Yeah, he's got extras.
00:41:37.000 He just always has vapes on it.
00:41:38.000 He pulled a fresh one out for me to try yesterday.
00:41:40.000 And I took it and I was like, is this actually better than smoking?
00:41:43.000 No, it's worse for you.
00:41:44.000 Is it worse?
00:41:45.000 Yeah, it's more condensed, like concentrated nicotine.
00:41:48.000 I'm not sure.
00:41:49.000 No, I am, Joe.
00:41:50.000 I'm telling you.
00:41:51.000 Look that shit up, Jamie.
00:41:52.000 I'm telling you, it's way worse for you than smoking cigarettes.
00:41:55.000 That's what they say.
00:41:55.000 I do know of a young man who got pneumonia who vaped every day and he wound up dying.
00:42:02.000 Oh, wow.
00:42:02.000 I do know of that.
00:42:03.000 He was a young guy.
00:42:05.000 And he was a chronic vaper.
00:42:08.000 I mean, all day, every day.
00:42:09.000 And he had one of those box ones.
00:42:12.000 You know those thick ones?
00:42:13.000 Yeah.
00:42:13.000 Lunch box.
00:42:14.000 Almost like a small VHS tape.
00:42:15.000 And they're blowing just...
00:42:18.000 They smell nice too, but their problem is they market to kids, so there's like a fruit loop one, there's like a fruity pebbles one.
00:42:25.000 They're fucking tasty.
00:42:27.000 How good is David Lucas, though?
00:42:29.000 At comedy?
00:42:29.000 He's hilarious.
00:42:30.000 He's one of the best guys ever at roasting, like back and forth, like with Tony Hinchcliffe.
00:42:35.000 Dude, he lit Tony up last night in the green roof with his coat.
00:42:38.000 He looks like a gay puffer fish.
00:42:40.000 He goes, I bet you blow up if I touch your ass.
00:42:45.000 He's like, off-the-cuff comments on Kill Tony are some of the best I've ever heard.
00:42:49.000 He's so good.
00:42:50.000 When we're on the road and there's a heckler, again, he's the guy who will come out of the green room like, yes!
00:42:55.000 Oh, heckle him!
00:42:56.000 Do it!
00:42:56.000 See what happens.
00:42:57.000 Fucking heckle him.
00:42:58.000 You know, because Chappelle's not on the road with me anymore, man.
00:43:01.000 Chappelle...
00:43:01.000 Chappelle Lacey.
00:43:02.000 Chappelle Lacey, yeah, sorry.
00:43:03.000 Chappelle Lacey, who we both love.
00:43:05.000 Yeah, I love him.
00:43:05.000 Yeah, he also left The Fire and Kid.
00:43:07.000 What's he doing?
00:43:08.000 He just focused on his own show, which is on Thick Boy Network, the Chappelle's World.
00:43:13.000 Thick Boy Network?
00:43:13.000 Thick Boy Network, yeah.
00:43:14.000 Yeah, I have my own, like, alley version of what you have here, but it's all my shit.
00:43:20.000 Yeah, all my staff, everything.
00:43:21.000 Beautiful.
00:43:21.000 Yeah, it's great, man.
00:43:22.000 But Chappelle, he's so funny because...
00:43:25.000 When he first came on the road with me, I told him, I said, hey, the goal here is, you know, you get so popular, you're headlining your own shit.
00:43:32.000 That's how this shit works.
00:43:32.000 I don't want you to just be my feature.
00:43:34.000 And probably about, I don't know, six months ago, seven months ago, he's all nervous, you know, Chappelle, he's like the nicest fucking guy in the world.
00:43:41.000 And he goes, hey man, I can't do that date in Tacoma with you.
00:43:45.000 I'm like, what the fuck?
00:43:46.000 He plays in a band or some shit.
00:43:48.000 He's like, no, no, no.
00:43:50.000 I'm starting to get headline gigs.
00:43:52.000 I'm like, dude, this is great.
00:43:54.000 You're doing your own thing, dude.
00:43:55.000 This is how this should work.
00:43:57.000 So Chappelle's doing his own thing, man.
00:43:58.000 Headlining, crushing it.
00:43:59.000 He's going to focus on his own podcast.
00:44:01.000 And now, hopefully David Luke's the next guy.
00:44:03.000 And David has it, man.
00:44:05.000 He's a beast.
00:44:05.000 Yeah.
00:44:07.000 I can't.
00:44:07.000 Too much for you, Daddy?
00:44:08.000 Too much?
00:44:09.000 Did you give up, too?
00:44:10.000 You took out, too?
00:44:12.000 Bitches, bro.
00:44:13.000 Maybe it's the COVID. Maybe your sense of taste is fucked.
00:44:16.000 No, dude.
00:44:17.000 It's enhanced.
00:44:18.000 Dude, and I've been carnivore.
00:44:20.000 It's a lot.
00:44:21.000 I've been carnivore.
00:44:21.000 I know you gave up on carnivore.
00:44:22.000 Your boy's been carnivore for...
00:44:25.000 What, since fucking December now?
00:44:27.000 I didn't give up on it.
00:44:28.000 I just added fruit.
00:44:30.000 And occasionally I cheat.
00:44:32.000 Like occasionally I have a piece of pizza.
00:44:34.000 Occasionally I'll have some bread.
00:44:36.000 But not much.
00:44:37.000 The vast majority of my diet is just meat and fruit.
00:44:41.000 We're the same.
00:44:41.000 I don't do fruit.
00:44:42.000 It's literally just meat.
00:44:43.000 And then I'll cheat.
00:44:44.000 Like I took my kid to the movies when it's all bad guys.
00:44:47.000 And, you know, whatever.
00:44:48.000 There's popcorn or something I'll share with him.
00:44:50.000 I don't be the weird dad.
00:44:51.000 Right.
00:44:52.000 And then I do that show, Food Truck Diaries.
00:44:54.000 So...
00:44:54.000 You can't be on a diet on that fucking show.
00:44:57.000 You have to eat tacos and shit.
00:44:58.000 Yeah, or fucking barbecue.
00:44:59.000 So I'll cheat on that when the fighter's on.
00:45:01.000 But other than that, I'd say 98% of the time I'm carnivore.
00:45:04.000 Unless I cheat on the show.
00:45:05.000 For me, the big change adding fruit was workouts.
00:45:08.000 My workouts are better.
00:45:09.000 I eat fruit in the morning before I work out.
00:45:12.000 And I was doing a lot of fasted workouts before.
00:45:16.000 And fast and workouts are fine, but I really do think I get like a little extra juice.
00:45:21.000 I bet.
00:45:22.000 From the sugar?
00:45:23.000 Yeah, if I have some fruit.
00:45:25.000 So that's all I ever eat in the morning is fruit.
00:45:27.000 Dude, you're the best I've seen you look, I would say.
00:45:29.000 Thank you.
00:45:29.000 And also Jamie too, man.
00:45:31.000 I know I was talking shit before I came in here.
00:45:32.000 It's good life.
00:45:32.000 Living a good life out here in Texas.
00:45:33.000 You boys are crushing it.
00:45:34.000 This is what freedom looks like.
00:45:37.000 Yeah.
00:45:37.000 Yeah, I know.
00:45:40.000 Dude, it's so weird with comics in L.A. and then the comics here.
00:45:44.000 It's not a L.A. versus Austin.
00:45:47.000 They're making it.
00:45:48.000 Why?
00:45:48.000 A lot of these L.A. people are mad we left.
00:45:51.000 Dude, the LA scene's back and popping, dude.
00:45:54.000 I'm sure it's great.
00:45:55.000 People get FOMO, man.
00:45:57.000 Everybody gets FOMO. They get fear of missing out.
00:46:00.000 It's normal.
00:46:00.000 When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, fuck that guy.
00:46:06.000 Yeah, I guess because of Instagram and social media.
00:46:09.000 I don't see Instagram or social media, but I assume you post cool shit, so people are like, fuck.
00:46:14.000 I don't even hardly post anything.
00:46:16.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:46:16.000 I mean, not about that.
00:46:17.000 I mean, occasionally I post stuff about our shows and stuff we're having.
00:46:20.000 Once your club opens up, though, talk about FOMO. But it's going to be a good thing.
00:46:24.000 It's going to be a good thing for comedy.
00:46:25.000 It's a two-hour flight from L.A. What are you guys crying about?
00:46:27.000 It's a good thing for comedy because we're just trying to help comedians get out there.
00:46:31.000 We're trying to give people a great place to perform where they're supported and they're taken care of.
00:46:37.000 Make them feel comfortable, like you can have fun there.
00:46:40.000 And it's an art form, man.
00:46:42.000 It's an art form that doesn't get the respect of other art forms.
00:46:45.000 It doesn't get the respect that music gets or that literature gets.
00:46:48.000 You don't think so now?
00:46:49.000 No, it doesn't.
00:46:50.000 I think some of you guys do.
00:46:51.000 The process doesn't get any respect.
00:46:53.000 The process of developing as a musician, like if you're classically trained, you can go to schools, you can go to Juilliard, you can learn music, you learn how to read Beethoven, you learn how to compose, you learn how to play ancient songs.
00:47:11.000 You don't learn shit as a comedian.
00:47:13.000 You figure it out all in yourself.
00:47:15.000 It's all on you.
00:47:17.000 And if you don't have good comedian friends, it's hard to know what the fuck's the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do.
00:47:24.000 Without these interviews with George Carlin, we looked into his writing process.
00:47:31.000 I would love to imagine if there was a three hour conversation with Richard Pryor about how he does stand up.
00:47:38.000 That'd be good, but the game's changed now.
00:47:41.000 It hasn't changed.
00:47:42.000 It has a little bit, Joe, because, you know, you talk about a three-hour process of Richard Pryor and how he got to where he's at, and you look at the game now, what about a three-hour fucking conversation with you or Bill Burr?
00:47:54.000 Yeah, that would be great.
00:47:55.000 Or Kevin Hart.
00:47:56.000 But the thing is, you can have that, and if you took all the times I've ever talked about stand-up on this podcast, you would have more than three hours.
00:48:03.000 The point is, like, Richard Pryor was doing it when no one knew how to do it.
00:48:07.000 Uh-huh.
00:48:09.000 He's one of the most revered artists of all time.
00:48:12.000 But his actual process of how he created that is kind of unknown.
00:48:16.000 I mean, we know that he worked with Paul Mooney.
00:48:18.000 We know that he had writers and other comics.
00:48:21.000 He bounced stuff off and he did a lot of workout sets.
00:48:24.000 And he would have these ideas.
00:48:25.000 He'd flesh them out and work them out on stage.
00:48:27.000 We know about all that.
00:48:28.000 But to hear him talk about it would have been fucking amazing.
00:48:32.000 But don't you think it's interesting, too, if you talk about a comics process, some comics like to write it all out, and some comics are just chaos where nobody's going to relate to it.
00:48:40.000 But I think that's why there's not that kind of blueprint for it.
00:48:45.000 For sure.
00:48:46.000 And that's the same thing with...
00:48:48.000 I don't think UFC fighters get the...
00:48:50.000 You know the the accolades that these other athletes do because there's no path you're not going to college to You know a scholarship at Duke and go the NBA like you made it everybody makes it different way you made it as a wrestler Yeah, so yeah, or you came up the ultimate fighter Dana White's contender series.
00:49:06.000 Yeah, they don't get the same accolades.
00:49:08.000 I think it's the similar with comedy It's like everybody's different, but I think why you know I was so fortunate when I got in the game and I was surrounded by you and Bert and Tom and Delia and Theo and especially really you because people go,
00:49:25.000 oh, Brennan, your work ethic.
00:49:26.000 I'm like, dude, work ethic?
00:49:30.000 You're the North Star.
00:49:32.000 You're the standard for work ethic.
00:49:34.000 You and Bill Burr.
00:49:35.000 You look at Bill, you look at you.
00:49:36.000 So I think it's like that's working, man.
00:49:39.000 Your blueprint, I think, is going to be easier for people to digest, if that makes sense.
00:49:46.000 Because you're not crazy.
00:49:48.000 Right.
00:49:48.000 Does that make sense?
00:49:49.000 No, I know what you're saying.
00:49:50.000 Yeah, because you approach it more like a professional athlete.
00:49:53.000 Yeah.
00:49:53.000 Yes.
00:49:53.000 And you have to.
00:49:56.000 You have to approach it like a professional.
00:49:58.000 But sometimes a professional is just a nut.
00:50:00.000 Like, some professionals are, like, professionally wise.
00:50:03.000 Like, Kennison.
00:50:04.000 Yeah.
00:50:04.000 You would never get him to do it that way.
00:50:07.000 You'd never get Joey Diaz to approach it.
00:50:08.000 Everybody has their own way of doing it.
00:50:11.000 But the point is that there's a way to parse that out.
00:50:15.000 It's not that you would teach a blueprint of how to do it, but there's a way to parse out all the ways.
00:50:22.000 If you looked at the way Gilbert Godfrey created stand-up, you look at the way David Tell created stand-up.
00:50:26.000 There's a way that we can at least get some lessons there and develop a study on it.
00:50:32.000 Because what stand-up is, is a kind of a form of mass hypnosis that most people love.
00:50:39.000 Most people love to go to a comedy show and laugh hard.
00:50:42.000 If you've gone to a comedy show and you saw one of your favorite comedians and they had a great set, you walked out of there like, oh my god, that was amazing.
00:50:50.000 You just took a drug.
00:50:51.000 You see people piling out of theaters and they're just laughing and they're having so much fun.
00:50:56.000 You gave them a drug for as long as you were on stage, and that, in its final form, like, you know, comedians sell out arenas, and comedians have Netflix specials that are huge, but in terms of the way people understand how that was created,
00:51:15.000 there's almost no support.
00:51:17.000 And it's hard for people in the beginning to even figure out how to get going.
00:51:21.000 Isn't that what makes it good?
00:51:22.000 I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:51:23.000 No, you're right.
00:51:23.000 Isn't that kind of cool?
00:51:24.000 Part of it's good.
00:51:24.000 Part of it's good.
00:51:25.000 But it would be better if...
00:51:28.000 Once you got to a certain level of proficiency, you were helped along.
00:51:33.000 And I think that's what we can do here in Austin.
00:51:36.000 I think what I want to do with The Mothership is have this place where you can work out, and you can learn, and you can be around, and we can all help each other because you're going to be around these killers.
00:51:49.000 You're going to be around guys like Segura.
00:51:51.000 You're going to be around guys like Hinchcliffe.
00:51:53.000 You're going to be around these fucking murderers that come in from out of town.
00:51:56.000 Tim Dillon.
00:51:56.000 Tim Dillon's a murderer.
00:51:58.000 And you around that, you absorb all this shit.
00:52:01.000 Derek's out here, too.
00:52:02.000 Derek Poston's out here.
00:52:04.000 He's an animal.
00:52:04.000 He was on the road with me for two years, dude.
00:52:06.000 Animal.
00:52:07.000 Animal.
00:52:07.000 Funny as fuck.
00:52:08.000 He's the best.
00:52:09.000 And he's out here.
00:52:11.000 And I think what you're doing in Austin is going to be great, and you build it, they will come, especially you.
00:52:17.000 But you did that in LA, brother.
00:52:18.000 You did that for me, man.
00:52:19.000 You gave me a fucking career.
00:52:21.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:52:21.000 Well, that's why I learned how to do it.
00:52:22.000 I learned how to do it in LA. Because it was like, the store was the place where people were doormen.
00:52:28.000 Or, you know, parking lot attendants and waitresses and shit.
00:52:31.000 And they wanted to be comics.
00:52:32.000 And that's how they got their job there.
00:52:33.000 And they went all the way to being professionals.
00:52:35.000 And they were always with us.
00:52:36.000 Like, we've had relationships with people there from the time.
00:52:40.000 Like, Ari and I were friends when he was a doorman.
00:52:42.000 Yeah.
00:52:43.000 And now he's a pro.
00:52:47.000 David Lucas was a door guy.
00:52:49.000 But that's what I took from you.
00:52:50.000 If there's anything, and I'm super grateful, and I almost feel like my careers make a wish when they find out I don't have mental issues.
00:53:00.000 Get the fuck out of here, dude.
00:53:01.000 But the thing I learned from you, it's like, now with my platform, not as big as yours, but it's not bad, I give back.
00:53:09.000 Yeah.
00:53:10.000 Right?
00:53:10.000 Chappelle Lacey.
00:53:11.000 You're following the blueprint.
00:53:12.000 Little Browse.
00:53:13.000 You know, this white rapper who creates all the music for all my promos, and he's so fucking talented, man.
00:53:19.000 That's awesome.
00:53:19.000 It's nutsos.
00:53:20.000 That's beautiful.
00:53:21.000 Yeah.
00:53:21.000 That's good.
00:53:22.000 You're helping.
00:53:23.000 Yes.
00:53:23.000 That's good.
00:53:24.000 That's my job.
00:53:25.000 There's something to that that is very enriching for you, too.
00:53:30.000 It doesn't just help those comics that you're giving a boost to.
00:53:33.000 It helps you.
00:53:35.000 That's the thing that people think about philanthropy.
00:53:38.000 They think about charity work or doing something good for someone or being kind and generous.
00:53:43.000 They think about it like, wow, you're giving so much.
00:53:46.000 You get something out of it, too.
00:53:48.000 You feel great.
00:53:50.000 The universe wants to reward someone who tries to do better and tries to make people around them better and tries to get better because of those people around them that are better and tries to celebrate all the people that are better than them.
00:54:05.000 It's also the right thing to do.
00:54:06.000 It's the right thing to do.
00:54:06.000 Especially if the people have the chops.
00:54:09.000 They just haven't been introduced to the fan base.
00:54:11.000 There's quite a few of those.
00:54:12.000 There's so many.
00:54:14.000 That's the thing I'm learning.
00:54:15.000 There's so many.
00:54:16.000 And some of them would have quit before.
00:54:18.000 Agree.
00:54:18.000 And because of the internet, they don't have to quit.
00:54:20.000 The internet is opening up a path where these guys are going to get promoted where maybe they wouldn't fit in on a late night talk show.
00:54:26.000 Agree.
00:54:27.000 Maybe they wouldn't get cast in a sitcom.
00:54:29.000 Or maybe Netflix passed on Economy Central, but for whatever reason, they can find their niche and people are going to vibe with it.
00:54:35.000 That's why I did, and I'd like your thoughts on it.
00:54:37.000 It's like with my special, the plan was to have my team shoot it and then sell it to all these major networks.
00:54:46.000 I'm not calling anybody out, but I'd meet with everybody.
00:54:48.000 You name it, I met with them, man.
00:54:49.000 They made offers, and I'd go, okay, what can you guys do?
00:54:52.000 They'd give me a list.
00:54:53.000 Then I'd call my team and go, hey, how much is it to this?
00:54:55.000 Can we do this?
00:54:56.000 And they'd give me all that.
00:54:57.000 I'm like, I feel like I can fucking do it, man.
00:54:59.000 And for me, it's like...
00:55:01.000 Where I'm at in my career, I need the most eyeballs possible.
00:55:04.000 It's not a paycheck.
00:55:07.000 It's not about money in any facet.
00:55:08.000 I just need this out as many people that they can see and see how hard I work at this stand-up.
00:55:15.000 Yeah, you're going to see a giant improvement in your set.
00:55:17.000 If people saw your first one to now.
00:55:19.000 The first one, I would have probably tried to talk you out of it, but I heard her talk you out of fighting.
00:55:23.000 And I was like, I can't talk him out of this, too.
00:55:25.000 Yeah, no.
00:55:26.000 But you could have.
00:55:27.000 And showtime...
00:55:30.000 But Showtime was willing to do it, and they were gonna give you money.
00:55:33.000 I'm like, what the fuck am I gonna do?
00:55:36.000 I don't regret anything, but at the time, and I think it's funny too, when I talk to fighters, Because it's my own perspective here.
00:55:47.000 Even in comedy.
00:55:48.000 Like, dude, there's no rush, man.
00:55:50.000 Right.
00:55:50.000 It's a fucking marathon, not a sprint.
00:55:52.000 Yeah.
00:55:53.000 Like, you're gonna get this stuff insane.
00:55:54.000 I just had this conversation.
00:55:55.000 You don't want it too early.
00:55:56.000 You don't want it too early, and it's also like, you know, Even on the road, it's like, you know, they're pushing me into theaters now.
00:56:03.000 I'm like, no, no, no, hold on.
00:56:04.000 I'll get there.
00:56:05.000 I'm good, man.
00:56:06.000 I need the reps in clubs.
00:56:08.000 I like clubs.
00:56:09.000 Clubs are great.
00:56:09.000 And I think, to me, it shows that I'm maturing as a stand-up.
00:56:14.000 And it's just like, give me time, man.
00:56:17.000 Don't force this.
00:56:18.000 We've been real fortunate to have Vulcan in town so that we work out here all the time.
00:56:22.000 So we're always working out in clubs.
00:56:23.000 So even if I'm doing arenas, I'm working out in the material in clubs.
00:56:27.000 I think that's the best diet.
00:56:29.000 I think stand-up has to be kind of like CrossFit.
00:56:32.000 You got to do like a small crowd sometimes.
00:56:34.000 You got to do like a, you know, a belly room type 90-seater crowd.
00:56:38.000 Yeah.
00:56:39.000 And sometimes you got to do, you know, you don't have to ever do the big places.
00:56:42.000 The big places are wild, but it's just like, you know...
00:56:46.000 It's a different animal, right?
00:56:47.000 14,000 people in a circle around you is fucking bananas.
00:56:51.000 Yeah.
00:56:52.000 It's great.
00:56:53.000 It's fun.
00:56:54.000 We had a great fucking time in Fort Worth last week.
00:56:57.000 Also, financially, it makes a lot of sense, too, if you can do that.
00:56:59.000 You make a lot of money, but the show is a different kind of thing.
00:57:03.000 The roars of the laughs are insane.
00:57:06.000 When you crush in front of that many people, it's wild.
00:57:08.000 And the timing's definitely You have to pace yourself more because they can't hear.
00:57:13.000 There's so many people laughing and there's so many people in the room.
00:57:15.000 You're not doing crowd work.
00:57:17.000 You can't pick on a person in the front row because the guy in the fucking 90s...
00:57:20.000 Occasionally some shit goes down.
00:57:21.000 Yeah, but in general...
00:57:23.000 When I was in Boston, some lady with blue hair was yelling at some guy to stop being racist.
00:57:29.000 In the middle of my show, I was like, what is going on?
00:57:31.000 You acknowledged it?
00:57:32.000 Yeah, I had to.
00:57:34.000 I was closing.
00:57:35.000 And I'm at the fucking Boston Garden.
00:57:37.000 It's a sold-out show.
00:57:39.000 It's my hometown.
00:57:40.000 Coming home.
00:57:41.000 I saw the fucking garden.
00:57:42.000 And the end of my set, set's going great.
00:57:45.000 This lady is yelling, fuck you, fuck you.
00:57:47.000 And she's standing up and pointing at him.
00:57:49.000 I go, what is going on?
00:57:51.000 People are great.
00:57:51.000 People are great.
00:57:52.000 They were great.
00:57:52.000 And she goes, tell that guy to stop being racist.
00:57:55.000 And I said, I go, I forget exactly how I phrased it, but it was something sent of, I normally would just accept the fact that That this guy had probably done something wrong if it wasn't for the color of your hair.
00:58:09.000 I think you might be susceptible to outrage.
00:58:12.000 I was like, you might be a little bit more complainy than most.
00:58:17.000 I don't know what happened.
00:58:18.000 I'm like, we're wrapping this up.
00:58:20.000 I'm bringing this thing home.
00:58:22.000 You hear fucking Burr's playing Fenway.
00:58:24.000 That's amazing.
00:58:25.000 They just announced it this morning.
00:58:26.000 Oh my god, he'll sell that out.
00:58:27.000 He's a hero in Boston.
00:58:29.000 Bro, they put him on the broadcast during the Red Sox game.
00:58:33.000 Oh my god, really?
00:58:34.000 Dude, he just fucking goes in on Derek Jeter and Canadians.
00:58:38.000 It's so fucking funny.
00:58:39.000 You could tell they didn't know what to do.
00:58:41.000 They're like, uh...
00:58:41.000 Well, see, he's a guy that can do that.
00:58:43.000 Remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football?
00:58:45.000 Yes, and got so much shit for it.
00:58:47.000 Because he tried to do jokes.
00:58:49.000 He had a bunch of jokes written, baby.
00:58:51.000 It wasn't organic.
00:58:54.000 It wasn't organic.
00:58:56.000 Somebody talked to me about that, and they were saying, is it hard to do comedy and commentate for the UFC? I'm like, is it hard to kiss your daughter on the cheek and then hang out with your buddies and high-five?
00:59:07.000 No, it's two different things.
00:59:08.000 Completely different.
00:59:09.000 And you're not trying to crack jokes.
00:59:11.000 I mean, you're a funny guy by nature, so if something pops off, whatever.
00:59:15.000 All kinds of, like, layers to them.
00:59:18.000 There's people that are sweet to their grandmother, and, you know, they're rough on a guy at work that's a dick.
00:59:24.000 You're different, you know, no matter what you're doing.
00:59:27.000 You know, there's some Hell's Angels out there who are great dads to their daughters, and then they've got to collect money, dude, and break some legs.
00:59:31.000 That was the thing in Goodfellas, right?
00:59:33.000 That Joe Pesci is always a great dad.
00:59:35.000 Yeah, that's right, with his mom.
00:59:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:59:36.000 Yeah, his kid.
00:59:37.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:59:38.000 But the point is, it's like, I don't ever fucking try to be funny.
00:59:42.000 It's like, I'm just trying to talk about what's happening and not sound stupid.
00:59:47.000 And trying to bring life to it.
00:59:49.000 Yeah, I'm just gonna do what I do.
00:59:50.000 And if you guys think it's funny, cool.
00:59:53.000 I'm not trying to be funny.
00:59:54.000 I never come on a podcast and go, I better be funny this time.
00:59:56.000 That's the thing, man.
00:59:57.000 We used to do these radio shows, and they would say, before you go on stage, or before you go on air, rather, a producer came backstage.
01:00:05.000 I don't want to name the show, but they're good guys.
01:00:08.000 The producer comes backstage.
01:00:09.000 Is it in LA? No.
01:00:10.000 And the producer's like, okay, so what topics are you going to cover so they can lead you into them?
01:00:15.000 I go, what are you talking about?
01:00:16.000 What?
01:00:17.000 I go, we're just gonna talk.
01:00:18.000 And the producer goes, what?
01:00:19.000 No, you have to do your bits.
01:00:20.000 I go, listen, man.
01:00:22.000 I go, listen, man.
01:00:23.000 I'm not doing my bits.
01:00:24.000 There's nothing worse.
01:00:25.000 And he shakes his head and looks at the sky and just walks out of the room like this fucking loser.
01:00:32.000 I'd be like, bitch, I'm a professional, dude.
01:00:35.000 I'm not fucking Ryan Seacrest.
01:00:37.000 We can't just talk.
01:00:37.000 We can't just talk.
01:00:38.000 Yeah.
01:00:39.000 You don't think we can have something interesting about the fact that I'm in town for the UFC and a comedy show at the local comedy club?
01:00:46.000 You don't think that we can find something to talk about?
01:00:48.000 I think I'll be all right, man.
01:00:49.000 I talk for a living.
01:00:50.000 I'll navigate Get my way through it.
01:00:52.000 Let's just talk.
01:00:53.000 You don't need to know.
01:00:53.000 Funny thing about the zoo, Bob.
01:00:55.000 Yeah.
01:00:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:57.000 Did you say Chili's?
01:00:58.000 The thing about Chili's.
01:00:59.000 Yeah, it's like, come on.
01:01:00.000 That's what all those late night shows essentially did.
01:01:02.000 I don't know if they still do it that way because I haven't done one in forever.
01:01:04.000 But like if you did stand up on one of those shows, like you showed them your set.
01:01:10.000 They went over it with a fine tooth comb.
01:01:12.000 They changed a lot of it.
01:01:14.000 They would cut out this.
01:01:15.000 Four minutes clean.
01:01:15.000 Yeah.
01:01:15.000 You have to do super clean.
01:01:17.000 Yeah.
01:01:17.000 And then if you went to sit down next to Johnny Carson, I don't know how Johnny Carson did it, but I know that some of those late night talk show guys, they would have very specific things they'd want to talk to you about.
01:01:28.000 You know, like, so I heard you started riding a bike in your neighborhood.
01:01:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:01:32.000 How's that going?
01:01:33.000 Funny you brought that up, Jay.
01:01:35.000 Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, man.
01:01:37.000 So you'd have to do this, like...
01:01:39.000 Corny bit.
01:01:40.000 That was back then though.
01:01:41.000 But then also with Johnny, right?
01:01:43.000 If you crush it, he'd call you over to the couch.
01:01:45.000 That was a big deal.
01:01:46.000 That was the deal.
01:01:48.000 There's no late show that does that now.
01:01:52.000 Guys' careers just got blown the fuck up from it.
01:01:55.000 There's nothing like that.
01:01:56.000 Yeah.
01:01:57.000 You know you're the close thing to Johnny Carson now, yeah?
01:01:59.000 Yeah.
01:02:00.000 Yeah, you know that.
01:02:00.000 But that's okay.
01:02:01.000 I like that job.
01:02:02.000 I like helping.
01:02:03.000 There's guys like Dan Soder or Norman or Shane Gillis.
01:02:06.000 You know, I do this podcast on a regular basis with Shane Gillis, Ari Shaffir, and Mark Norman.
01:02:13.000 Yeah, my favorite.
01:02:13.000 We call it Protect Our Parks.
01:02:14.000 Yeah.
01:02:14.000 This is the most ridiculous podcast.
01:02:16.000 Last time we did it, Shane drank 14 beers.
01:02:19.000 14?
01:02:20.000 No, 15. 15. It was 15 at the end.
01:02:23.000 15 beers.
01:02:24.000 15 fucking beers!
01:02:24.000 I love all those guys.
01:02:26.000 Who the fuck drinks 15 of anything?
01:02:28.000 Shane Gillis does.
01:02:29.000 How about drinking 15 Diet Cokes?
01:02:30.000 That would be insane.
01:02:31.000 He'd probably die.
01:02:32.000 Have you done that?
01:02:33.000 Me and Donald Trump do that every day.
01:02:34.000 But I mean in a row.
01:02:36.000 He's got a stack of empties.
01:02:38.000 I'll drink 10 Diet Cokes a day.
01:02:40.000 Norman is the lightweight.
01:02:41.000 He dabbles.
01:02:42.000 He pretends he drinks and doesn't get too fucked up.
01:02:45.000 Ari goes in.
01:02:47.000 Ari and I get high.
01:02:49.000 Norman doesn't even get high, right?
01:02:51.000 No, not really.
01:02:52.000 I don't think so.
01:02:52.000 So it's me and Ari.
01:02:53.000 Me and Ari are baked and we're drunk.
01:02:56.000 Shane's old school.
01:02:56.000 Shane was coming to LA and he hit me up.
01:03:00.000 We're boys and we talk back and forth.
01:03:03.000 And then he goes, I don't think he knows that I have kids.
01:03:07.000 He's like, dude, you want to go to a bar, like a sports bar and grab some beers?
01:03:10.000 I'm like, bitch, it is.
01:03:11.000 This is Wednesday at 6 o'clock, dude.
01:03:13.000 My kids go to bed at 7. He's like, yeah, so?
01:03:16.000 I'm like, no, I'm not going to a fucking sports bar, man.
01:03:18.000 He goes in.
01:03:19.000 To watch game six of the fucking Yankees or whatever it was.
01:03:22.000 He's just old school, dude.
01:03:23.000 But he has started working out again.
01:03:25.000 You know, because he was a football player.
01:03:26.000 He was jacked at one point in time.
01:03:27.000 He was a big athlete.
01:03:28.000 Yeah.
01:03:28.000 And he just got sloppy for a long time.
01:03:30.000 Yeah, I think he played football in high school.
01:03:32.000 And then one, I think he walked on to Army or some shit like that, right?
01:03:35.000 I don't know the full extent.
01:03:37.000 And I think he got there and was like, fuck this.
01:03:40.000 This is what it is.
01:03:41.000 I'm out, man.
01:03:42.000 Yeah, I don't know the full extent of his athletic career.
01:03:44.000 He's hilarious, though.
01:03:45.000 But I do know that he's working out again.
01:03:47.000 So he's looking great.
01:03:48.000 Like, he's losing weight.
01:03:49.000 His muscle's coming back.
01:03:51.000 Made me grab his arm the other day.
01:03:52.000 I was like, dude, it's getting bigger?
01:03:53.000 Dude, it's jacked.
01:03:54.000 Like, because it's muscle memory.
01:03:56.000 That's the thing about a guy who was big at one point in time.
01:03:59.000 Was he that big?
01:04:00.000 Was he jacked?
01:04:01.000 I mean, he was an athletic football player.
01:04:03.000 I don't have a photo of him that I beat off to.
01:04:05.000 I'd like to see it, though, you know?
01:04:07.000 In his underwear?
01:04:08.000 Yeah, I'd love to see that shit.
01:04:09.000 Because there's always guys that wrestle or play football that aren't in good shape.
01:04:14.000 No, yeah.
01:04:15.000 It's like where you're actually playing.
01:04:16.000 There's a fine line.
01:04:17.000 Right, right, right.
01:04:18.000 Where was I? Oh, I was doing Chrysler's podcast last week.
01:04:22.000 I don't know what people do.
01:04:23.000 He goes, oh, dude, you like this guy.
01:04:27.000 Dude, he wrestled.
01:04:29.000 He wrestled.
01:04:29.000 I'm like, oh shit, what were you talking, Oklahoma State?
01:04:32.000 Were you on the national team?
01:04:33.000 What were you talking about?
01:04:33.000 And he goes, oh no, in high school.
01:04:35.000 I looked at Burr, I went, that doesn't count, Burr.
01:04:37.000 He goes, why do I go?
01:04:38.000 I played basketball in high school, man.
01:04:40.000 You can't call me a basketball player.
01:04:42.000 There's levels to this game.
01:04:44.000 Well, it's a thing when they bring you in and you have to talk to somebody that has a casual understanding of the thing.
01:04:51.000 And it's like, okay, we're talking about a different thing here.
01:04:55.000 Yes.
01:04:55.000 I was on a podcast once and they had a guy that was like their security guy.
01:05:00.000 And their security guy was a fake karate guy.
01:05:04.000 And I kind of had heard that maybe some of the stuff that he had done was full of shit.
01:05:10.000 This is not a small show either.
01:05:11.000 And so I'm on the show and this was like during the days when I first started commentating for the UFC. And he starts talking about how the stuff they do is for the street.
01:05:25.000 Do you know how much that makes my fucking blood boil?
01:05:28.000 That's triggering for me.
01:05:29.000 It makes me so angry when someone says, the stuff we do is for the street.
01:05:35.000 See, I won't let that slide, though.
01:05:36.000 I didn't let it slide.
01:05:37.000 No, no, no, no.
01:05:38.000 I'll be like, hold on, hold on, hold on.
01:05:39.000 Go back.
01:05:40.000 You know?
01:05:41.000 We'll talk it through.
01:05:42.000 Like, I was on your boy, what, Patrick David Bett?
01:05:45.000 Patrick Bett David.
01:05:46.000 Yeah, Patrick Bett David.
01:05:47.000 He has a great car collection, by the way.
01:05:49.000 Oh, he's awesome.
01:05:49.000 I learned that after the fact.
01:05:50.000 He's great.
01:05:51.000 Love that guy to death.
01:05:51.000 One of my favorite people.
01:05:52.000 I love that guy to death.
01:05:53.000 I did his show.
01:05:53.000 He's brilliant.
01:05:54.000 Yeah, I think it was at Miami.
01:05:56.000 Super nice guy, too.
01:05:57.000 The nicest.
01:05:58.000 I texted you before.
01:05:58.000 I'm like, hey, is he cool?
01:05:59.000 And he's great.
01:06:00.000 The best.
01:06:00.000 But he does a show with two co-hosts, and they kept saying, people do it to me all the time whenever I'm doing press, this guy's an athlete, and they kept saying, athlete, athlete, and I went, hold on, hold on, it's triggering for me, hold on.
01:06:11.000 I think we're a little too loose with the term athlete.
01:06:15.000 What's your definition of athlete?
01:06:17.000 I think ours are different.
01:06:18.000 And I'm not shaming anybody.
01:06:20.000 You're talking about elite athletes, like high-level college athletes.
01:06:23.000 Where I was at.
01:06:24.000 So if you're going to throw this term around, know who you're talking to.
01:06:27.000 It's like if you're in a room with Jordan Peterson or Elon Musk, you keep going, oh, this guy's smart.
01:06:32.000 This guy's smart.
01:06:33.000 They're going to go, hold on.
01:06:34.000 Your drug dealer smart?
01:06:36.000 Street smart?
01:06:37.000 What are you talking about?
01:06:37.000 Yeah, what does that mean?
01:06:38.000 There's different levels to this game.
01:06:39.000 There's giant leaps.
01:06:41.000 Yeah, it'll trigger me because this guy's...
01:06:43.000 But this guy had got them convinced that he was like a security expert.
01:06:46.000 And I knew he was a fucking idiot.
01:06:48.000 And when I heard that we do this stuff for the streets, I go, hey man, listen to me.
01:06:52.000 I said, the...
01:06:53.000 The best stuff that you should learn is the stuff that works on trained killers.
01:06:58.000 This is one of the good things with the internet, because Brian had this friend who'd hang around him all the time.
01:07:02.000 Brian would go, dude.
01:07:02.000 I remember that guy.
01:07:04.000 And Brian would go, dude, he fought fucking Czech Congo.
01:07:07.000 He did, isn't he?
01:07:08.000 He fought Czech Congo.
01:07:09.000 Also, he wrestled at ASU. I'm like, okay, cool.
01:07:12.000 And I was being cool about it.
01:07:14.000 And then when we'd hang out, he'd make references to it.
01:07:17.000 Yeah, I fought Vanderlei Silva in Brazil on the beach and all this shit.
01:07:20.000 I'm like, okay, cool.
01:07:22.000 And then I go, where can I find them?
01:07:24.000 It's easy to look up.
01:07:25.000 The internet's there all day.
01:07:27.000 If you did this, he's like, no, this is underground shit, man.
01:07:29.000 Oh, okay.
01:07:30.000 And I go, but you wrestled at ASU? He goes, yeah, I did.
01:07:32.000 I go, what years?
01:07:33.000 He told me, I go, Oh, my head coach at Rain Training Center, who's Chael's main guy and all those, I go, he was the captain of ASU. So I text him, hey, you ever heard of this guy?
01:07:45.000 He goes, no.
01:07:46.000 And then I go, dude, he was there the same year, so he was the captain of the team.
01:07:50.000 You wrestled for me?
01:07:50.000 He goes, hold on, dude, I didn't go to ASU. They would let me in the practice.
01:07:55.000 I'd go with the team.
01:07:56.000 I just wouldn't compete.
01:07:57.000 So I text him, hey, was there a guy that came in?
01:07:59.000 He goes...
01:08:00.000 Excuse me?
01:08:01.000 You think we'd let an out?
01:08:02.000 No, it's against NCAA rules.
01:08:04.000 Because this guy's full of shit.
01:08:06.000 So I took Brian and I go, Brian, let me talk to you real quick.
01:08:08.000 Let me talk to you real quick.
01:08:08.000 Your friend?
01:08:09.000 Full of shit.
01:08:10.000 It's very easy to prove.
01:08:11.000 And how did Brian handle it?
01:08:13.000 Oh, he was like, oh, really?
01:08:14.000 I'm like, yes, dude.
01:08:15.000 I know, dude.
01:08:16.000 Brian is so bad at seeing that.
01:08:19.000 Yeah.
01:08:19.000 There's been so many times when he and I have been friends.
01:08:21.000 I've been like, hey, man, what is going on with that guy?
01:08:25.000 What are you saying?
01:08:26.000 That guy, he's like on coke, he's out of his fucking mind, he's full of shit.
01:08:30.000 Like, that's not your lawyer.
01:08:35.000 There was always people around him that just had no business being around him.
01:08:39.000 But God bless him, because he sees the best in everybody.
01:08:44.000 So he's like, no, dude, this guy fought Chuck Conklin on the beach in France.
01:08:49.000 It's a disturbing thing to be that bad at spotting liars, though.
01:08:53.000 The worst.
01:08:54.000 But it comes from a good place, I think.
01:08:55.000 Yeah.
01:08:56.000 You know?
01:08:56.000 He doesn't mean to.
01:08:57.000 Yeah, that stuff's triggering for me on that Patrick...
01:09:00.000 He does come from a good place.
01:09:01.000 Yeah, it does.
01:09:01.000 It's kind of endearing.
01:09:02.000 Yeah.
01:09:03.000 God bless him.
01:09:03.000 That he's so nice to idiots.
01:09:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:05.000 But it was way worse when he was younger.
01:09:08.000 Oh, it's still bad now.
01:09:10.000 Dude, he brought some kid in the...
01:09:15.000 It's way worse now.
01:09:16.000 Is it really?
01:09:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:09:17.000 Way worse?
01:09:18.000 Oh, way worse.
01:09:18.000 Oh, no.
01:09:19.000 God bless him, because again, I don't get mad at him anymore.
01:09:21.000 It's just sometimes you got to accept people over there.
01:09:23.000 He brought one guy in the thing.
01:09:24.000 He was like, he's playing in the NBA, dude.
01:09:25.000 He's playing in the NBA. I'm going to bring him in.
01:09:28.000 It's like five minutes before we go live.
01:09:30.000 I'm like, no, hold on.
01:09:32.000 Who's this?
01:09:32.000 You know, I'm like you.
01:09:33.000 I'm like you.
01:09:34.000 I'm between you.
01:09:35.000 If Brian's here and you're here, I'm in the middle.
01:09:38.000 Okay.
01:09:38.000 You know, I'm trying to get better.
01:09:39.000 Okay.
01:09:39.000 You know, and so he goes, this guy, he's giving me his background.
01:09:43.000 I go, You play in the Amiga's?
01:09:44.000 Yeah.
01:09:44.000 I go, Brian, it doesn't matter.
01:09:47.000 How does he fit on the show, dude?
01:09:48.000 It's a comedy.
01:09:49.000 We fuck around, dude.
01:09:51.000 He's just going to sit in.
01:09:53.000 So he sits in and then I talk to him.
01:09:54.000 You play in the Amiga's?
01:09:55.000 No, I don't play in the Amiga.
01:09:57.000 I go, you never play in the Amiga's?
01:09:58.000 He's like, no.
01:09:58.000 I play overseas, like minor league.
01:10:00.000 I'm like, god damn it.
01:10:01.000 Oh, Brian.
01:10:03.000 But Brian heard, like, something weird.
01:10:05.000 So for him, he thinks the best.
01:10:07.000 He didn't even investigate by asking the man.
01:10:09.000 No, he just heard.
01:10:10.000 He's brought him on the show.
01:10:11.000 Tall black guy.
01:10:11.000 So he's like, oh, he's good.
01:10:12.000 I'll show you my value to this show.
01:10:14.000 Yeah, he's good.
01:10:14.000 My decision making.
01:10:15.000 So I'm going to bring on a guy.
01:10:16.000 How was the guy?
01:10:17.000 Was he good?
01:10:18.000 He didn't come up.
01:10:19.000 I wouldn't allow him on the show.
01:10:20.000 I'm like, I don't know this guy.
01:10:21.000 He can't have a mic.
01:10:22.000 We got a fucking show to do.
01:10:23.000 I don't know this fucking game.
01:10:24.000 You can't come on.
01:10:25.000 Oh, Brian.
01:10:26.000 He's so crazy.
01:10:26.000 And when I used to tour with him, he's not doing it now anymore.
01:10:29.000 When I used to tour with him, you know, we'd be in the front of the plane and people would walk by like a big swole black guy.
01:10:34.000 He'd go, dude, my God, your body.
01:10:37.000 I'm like, oh.
01:10:39.000 What are you, NFL players or something like that?
01:10:41.000 And I go, hey, let me talk to you real quick.
01:10:43.000 That's so appalling.
01:10:45.000 Because if they're not, dude, you know how racist that is?
01:10:48.000 Well, not only that, it's like a man just wants to get on a plane.
01:10:52.000 A man doesn't want to be complimented on his physique over and over again by a guy who's like, kind of acting?
01:10:58.000 Like, what is going on here?
01:10:59.000 But also trying to get to his seat.
01:11:00.000 He's like, wait, what?
01:11:02.000 The one time, I'll give this to Brian, the one time was Saquon Barkley, who's like the biggest freak in the NFL, and he's kind of shorter, but his fucking quads are like this.
01:11:10.000 So I see him, right, and he was his rookie year in the NFL for the Giants, and he's rookie of the year and fucking almost won the Heisman.
01:11:16.000 I track him, I see him come on the play, I'm like, oh, let's say Kwon Barkley, that's a fucking jack dude.
01:11:20.000 I'm like, fuck, Ryan's gonna say something.
01:11:22.000 He's walking by, he goes, hey, bro, my God, those fucking quads.
01:11:26.000 And he got it right this time, so it worked.
01:11:29.000 He goes, what are you, some sort of running back, let me guess?
01:11:32.000 And he's like, yeah, man.
01:11:33.000 Ah!
01:11:33.000 And Brian's like, oh yeah!
01:11:34.000 And they're like hugging, taking pictures and shit.
01:11:37.000 Oh my god, it fucking finally paid off, dude.
01:11:39.000 You ran to Saquon Barclay.
01:11:41.000 If you throw a hundred darts, but one of them hits the bullseye, isn't it worth it?
01:11:45.000 Yep, it worked for him.
01:11:47.000 I don't know if he's still doing it.
01:11:48.000 He ever tell you about his fucking Bob Saget story?
01:11:50.000 No.
01:11:52.000 Brian's going to play some shit show.
01:11:56.000 And I think Bob's going...
01:11:58.000 It was Florida or somewhere.
01:11:59.000 You know, Bob's playing some fucking arena.
01:12:01.000 He's killing it.
01:12:02.000 And Bob's in first class.
01:12:04.000 I love this story.
01:12:05.000 Bob's in first class and Brian's walking by.
01:12:07.000 And Brian's sitting there and goes, Bob, what's up?
01:12:09.000 Bob goes, what's up, man?
01:12:10.000 Oh, good to see you.
01:12:11.000 And he's talking.
01:12:11.000 And he goes, where are you going?
01:12:13.000 Brian goes, oh, my seat's back there.
01:12:15.000 And then Bob just leaks in and goes...
01:12:16.000 Well, I've won.
01:12:18.000 He goes, I've won.
01:12:19.000 Brian goes, what?
01:12:20.000 He goes, I'm in first class.
01:12:21.000 You're not.
01:12:22.000 I've won.
01:12:25.000 Brian says, I was talking.
01:12:27.000 He goes, well, I've won.
01:12:28.000 Okay, see ya.
01:12:29.000 Give it back to you.
01:12:30.000 Brian's like, okay.
01:12:31.000 Well, I've won.
01:12:33.000 Wasn't Brian a comedian?
01:12:34.000 That's supposed to be funny.
01:12:35.000 I would've laughed.
01:12:37.000 Brian said he was laughing because he just kept shouting it.
01:12:39.000 Well, I've won!
01:12:41.000 I've won!
01:12:41.000 You're back there.
01:12:43.000 So funny.
01:12:44.000 He was a good dude, man.
01:12:46.000 His passing was a sad one.
01:12:47.000 That was a hard one to take.
01:12:48.000 Curious.
01:12:49.000 I mean, I'm not a conspiracy guy in any facet.
01:12:52.000 Which also, you know, met Alex Jones last night.
01:12:55.000 Nice guy!
01:12:57.000 Alex Jones is a very nice guy.
01:12:58.000 He's a really nice guy.
01:12:59.000 He's a very nice guy.
01:12:59.000 Yeah.
01:13:00.000 He loved my bit on vaccines.
01:13:02.000 That's what he told me.
01:13:04.000 So you're doing something right if Alex Jones likes your vaccine bit.
01:13:07.000 But, uh...
01:13:09.000 He's a nice guy, but again, I'm not a big conspiracy guy, but when you look into Bob Saget's death, it is a little weird, right?
01:13:17.000 Well, I mean, he fell, obviously.
01:13:20.000 He blacked out.
01:13:24.000 But here's the reality of not knowing about his health.
01:13:28.000 We could both fall into speculation here about all kinds of things.
01:13:33.000 You don't know why people black out.
01:13:35.000 We don't know if people have a history of blacking out.
01:13:37.000 And I don't know if this was the first time.
01:13:40.000 Sometimes people...
01:13:44.000 Legitimately have medical issues and you can jump to conclusions and not be aware of those.
01:13:48.000 Yeah, he might have been dealing with it in his family.
01:13:49.000 People have done that about close friends of mine or people that I knew.
01:13:52.000 Oh, it's horrible.
01:13:53.000 And it drives me crazy.
01:13:54.000 It's like, come on, man.
01:13:55.000 You don't know the whole story.
01:13:56.000 Oh, I'm not even trying to open a can of worms.
01:13:58.000 So he fell, apparently, it looks like.
01:14:01.000 He fell and blacked out.
01:14:02.000 Yeah.
01:14:03.000 And you know as well as I know that when, like, you've seen street fight videos where guys get KO'd and their heads bounce off the concrete.
01:14:09.000 I watch World Star every morning.
01:14:10.000 It's so scary.
01:14:12.000 O.J. Simpson first, then World Star.
01:14:13.000 It's so scary.
01:14:14.000 But the only weird thing is the doctor that did the autopsy was saying, again, I'm not trying to start any shit here.
01:14:21.000 The article that I read, this doctor goes, the weird thing is if you fall, you usually will see a fracture in the back of the skull.
01:14:29.000 He goes, the weird thing about this thing, and he didn't draw any conclusions.
01:14:33.000 He just goes, the orbitals were fractured, the frontal was fractured, and the back.
01:14:40.000 And he goes, and the only time you can do all that is if you were to fall out of a 30-foot story building.
01:14:47.000 Or if somebody took a bat to you.
01:14:50.000 So he's like, so just fall in the bathtub?
01:14:52.000 This doesn't make sense, but who knows?
01:14:55.000 Yeah, but if you fell in the bathtub and you hit your face where your orbital is on the rim of a steel bathtub...
01:15:03.000 Or a ceramic bathtub, something ungiving, and then fell backwards.
01:15:07.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
01:15:08.000 I mean, he might have fallen twice.
01:15:09.000 But also, he, uh...
01:15:10.000 Because if he fell and was like semi-conscious, he stood up.
01:15:13.000 And then fell again.
01:15:14.000 And then fell and then blacked out again.
01:15:15.000 Yeah, I'm not trying to start anything.
01:15:16.000 But my thought is, I don't know what his health was like.
01:15:19.000 Bob was in his 60s, you know, and he liked to party.
01:15:22.000 Yeah.
01:15:22.000 In terms of like, he liked to have a few alcoholic beverages.
01:15:27.000 I don't know if he was still drinking at the time and he never had like a drinking problem But I'm saying he's not it's not like he was running marathons, you know, he's uh Also shit happens like sometimes freak shit happens shit happens so for the family It's terrible that people keep carrying on with this stuff.
01:15:43.000 I'm just saying what that doctor said I thought that was weird, but it's also like okay at the end of the day okay, but also you If there was some malarkey or shady shit going on, it happened at the Four Seasons.
01:15:55.000 So they have video.
01:15:58.000 I don't think they think that.
01:16:00.000 I haven't really read any legitimate...
01:16:04.000 Because I think there's a thing with the cards.
01:16:06.000 When you get into the door, they know how many times you've done it, and they know nobody entered the door after him.
01:16:11.000 So, yeah, case solved.
01:16:13.000 Again, I would never disrespect Bob like that.
01:16:15.000 No, no, I know you're not.
01:16:15.000 It's just a conversation that he had.
01:16:17.000 He was a fucking sweet man.
01:16:19.000 Also a savage on fucking stage, dude.
01:16:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:16:22.000 Just a really sweet guy.
01:16:24.000 Oh, he's nice to me, man.
01:16:25.000 Super nice to me.
01:16:26.000 He's nice to everybody, man.
01:16:27.000 He was always friendly and kind and genuinely wanted to engage with you and connect with you and talk to you, and everybody felt that way.
01:16:34.000 Like, you're hard-pressed to find people who don't like Bob.
01:16:37.000 Yeah, I'd say a bad thing about him.
01:16:38.000 But, you know, for me, I know you say he's nice to everybody.
01:16:42.000 You know, for me, especially coming to comedy, not everyone's nice to me, man.
01:16:45.000 Yeah.
01:16:46.000 Which I get.
01:16:47.000 I completely understand.
01:16:48.000 It's unfortunate.
01:16:49.000 You know, like...
01:16:50.000 It doesn't bother me.
01:16:51.000 That's fine.
01:16:51.000 But it's like, the guys that were and where I'm at now, you know, that goes so far with me, man.
01:16:57.000 Right.
01:16:58.000 Like, now it's like, hey, man...
01:16:59.000 Whatever you want.
01:17:00.000 You gotta fucking hide a dead body?
01:17:03.000 Call your boy.
01:17:03.000 Whatever you gotta do, man.
01:17:05.000 You were nice to me when you had no reason to be?
01:17:07.000 I'm in, dude.
01:17:08.000 There's bad people, and then there's people that you just might be annoyed by.
01:17:13.000 And you gotta learn to accept the people that you might be annoyed by.
01:17:15.000 The bad people are the people that are doing something bad to people, taking something from people, stealing something.
01:17:21.000 Sure.
01:17:21.000 Robbing people, fucking people over.
01:17:24.000 Those are the people that you should be concerned about because they're not thinking about other people.
01:17:27.000 They're only thinking about themselves.
01:17:29.000 They're trying to victimize other people in order for them to gain their own success.
01:17:34.000 But the other people that annoy you, you got to look at what are they doing that's so bad?
01:17:39.000 And why are you spending so much time concentrating on it?
01:17:43.000 And I get criticism, and one of the things about being a person like you, or being a person like me, who's public, is you gotta accept the fact that people are gonna talk shit about you.
01:17:53.000 It's what we signed up for.
01:17:54.000 It's what you signed up for.
01:17:55.000 It's just a part of the program.
01:17:57.000 But some people...
01:18:01.000 It's not in their own good interest to be spending so much time.
01:18:06.000 No!
01:18:07.000 Just getting upset that this other person's doing comedy and they're doing comedy.
01:18:10.000 Like, they look at you like, oh, you're a UFC fighter.
01:18:12.000 Oh, he's doing comedy now?
01:18:14.000 It's almost like comedy is like some...
01:18:16.000 I know it's sacred to them because for every comic, it's like when you're on stage and when it goes right, it's like that's what you're working towards.
01:18:24.000 You're putting countless hours into that moment where you hit a punchline and everybody laughs and you know you're locked in.
01:18:31.000 And everybody's enjoying that moment.
01:18:33.000 It's all worth it.
01:18:35.000 Comedy's very black and white, though, too.
01:18:37.000 It's like, you could be Brad Pitt, and you get on that stage, especially at the Comedy Store, the Laugh Factory, the Improv.
01:18:44.000 You know, those aren't my home...
01:18:45.000 That's not a home game for me.
01:18:47.000 And if you're getting...
01:18:48.000 It's very black and white, you know?
01:18:50.000 It's not like...
01:18:52.000 Does that make sense?
01:18:53.000 Yeah, it works or it doesn't work.
01:18:55.000 Yes.
01:18:55.000 You're either going to sink or swim.
01:18:57.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I had Carrot Top on the podcast.
01:19:00.000 He was always a guy who was like a whipping boy.
01:19:03.000 And I was like, why?
01:19:05.000 He's so nice.
01:19:07.000 He's so nice.
01:19:07.000 He's funny.
01:19:08.000 He's just doing his own thing.
01:19:09.000 If you have fucking kids and you want to see like a family-friendly, funny show, Carrot Top's show is really good.
01:19:17.000 Think how long He's been doing it forever.
01:19:19.000 Something's working.
01:19:19.000 And like when you engage with him, like when he was on the podcast, he's a sweetheart.
01:19:24.000 I love them on here, man.
01:19:25.000 He's great.
01:19:26.000 He was weird when he got all juicy, right?
01:19:28.000 But I also enjoy that.
01:19:30.000 He got big.
01:19:30.000 I enjoy that.
01:19:31.000 He wanted to get jacked for a while, but he got a little crazy.
01:19:34.000 But it's like the thing is, that guy was a whipping boy for zero reason.
01:19:38.000 For so long.
01:19:40.000 They call him a hack and shit like that, right?
01:19:41.000 Well, it was just that he was using props.
01:19:43.000 That's all.
01:19:44.000 But he was using them so well that he changed the genre.
01:19:47.000 No one else is a prop comedian now.
01:19:49.000 That boy sells tickets.
01:19:51.000 But it was a thing where when I was coming up in the 80s, like in 88 when I started, that was a category of comedians, a prop comic.
01:19:58.000 There was a guitar comic, a prop comic, sometimes people had puppets.
01:20:03.000 All those are gone.
01:20:07.000 I don't mean to interrupt you.
01:20:08.000 As far as puppets go, you don't really see it anymore.
01:20:13.000 No.
01:20:14.000 Like, you'd have to have some real balls to go up at the comic store improv or ice house and fucking get out a puppet.
01:20:21.000 You better be fucking funny.
01:20:23.000 Jeff Dunham is awesome.
01:20:27.000 I mean, he's got a bunch of different characters, and Jeff Dunham kills it on the road.
01:20:30.000 Kills it.
01:20:31.000 What?
01:20:31.000 Kills it on the road.
01:20:32.000 I think he's Forbes top ten, dude.
01:20:34.000 Kills.
01:20:35.000 He just kills it.
01:20:35.000 Give me a fucking puppet.
01:20:36.000 The great one is Otto and George.
01:20:38.000 Yes, old school.
01:20:39.000 Otto and George.
01:20:39.000 I worked with Otto and George in the 90s in New York City.
01:20:43.000 Oh, damn.
01:20:43.000 Yeah, we did shows in New Jersey.
01:20:46.000 We did shows...
01:20:47.000 God, we did a gang of shows.
01:20:50.000 We did fucking...
01:20:51.000 I did what they call prom shows with Otto and George.
01:20:55.000 And Otto and I would do these shows where...
01:20:59.000 You would have kids that were coming in on their prom.
01:21:02.000 So they're 17-year-old kids.
01:21:04.000 And they pump them in there.
01:21:05.000 And they can't drink, but they all bring in liquor.
01:21:07.000 They're all hammered.
01:21:08.000 And they want you to tell the same jokes so that the kids leave.
01:21:13.000 Because they can't get the kids to leave.
01:21:15.000 So they keep pumping more kids in.
01:21:17.000 And then they get the kids to quit.
01:21:18.000 The show's over.
01:21:19.000 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
01:21:20.000 But they still sit there.
01:21:21.000 They can sit there if they want.
01:21:22.000 So then they do the same act so that they leave.
01:21:25.000 I'm like, I'm not doing the same fucking act.
01:21:26.000 What a nut.
01:21:27.000 I'm not bombing in front of the same kids.
01:21:29.000 Over and over?
01:21:30.000 I saw that joke!
01:21:33.000 There was a guy, I don't want to say his name, I don't want to embarrass him, but he was on stage and this kid was a big kid, like a big football player looking kid, went on stage, took the mic from him and blew cigar smoke in his face.
01:21:47.000 Savage.
01:21:49.000 And he didn't do a fucking thing about it.
01:21:51.000 I was watching, I was like, man, that's a problem.
01:21:54.000 Like, you gotta have security to stop that.
01:21:56.000 Like, you can't let that happen.
01:21:57.000 And this was during the prom shows, but that's how crazy prom shows were.
01:22:00.000 We would do like five, six in a night, but it was really lucrative.
01:22:04.000 Like, if you were like me and you were broke, yeah, you would get good money and you would get like five sets a night.
01:22:10.000 Yeah, stage time.
01:22:10.000 As long as kids kept showing up, they kept having shows.
01:22:13.000 So they wouldn't even tell you how many shows you had.
01:22:16.000 They would just call them prom shows.
01:22:17.000 And so I left when it was light out.
01:22:20.000 Fuck.
01:22:21.000 Light out.
01:22:21.000 I left Dangerfields in New York City and the light was coming up.
01:22:26.000 Jesus Christ.
01:22:27.000 And I was like, this is crazy.
01:22:28.000 It was like fucking five in the morning.
01:22:30.000 I was like, this is nuts.
01:22:31.000 That's cool.
01:22:32.000 Yeah.
01:22:32.000 God, old school, man.
01:22:33.000 Yeah, that was with Otto.
01:22:34.000 Otto, he had some fucking great bits, man.
01:22:37.000 And the...
01:22:38.000 The dummy would say the horrible shit.
01:22:40.000 Like, give me some so you can see it.
01:22:43.000 98. I need to lick some ass.
01:22:49.000 You want to be an intern?
01:22:51.000 Alright.
01:22:52.000 Suck my presidential cock.
01:22:54.000 All right now.
01:22:55.000 Brush your teeth with my cock if you love your country.
01:22:59.000 All right.
01:23:00.000 Drop my pants and lick some ass.
01:23:02.000 All right.
01:23:04.000 JFK got a lot of clues on.
01:23:05.000 All right.
01:23:06.000 All right, we're going to do the inauguration of John Kennedy.
01:23:11.000 Inaugurate?
01:23:12.000 Am I saying it right?
01:23:13.000 Run, Forrest, run, you motherfucker.
01:23:15.000 Learn how to talk, jerk off.
01:23:18.000 He's not even hiding his mouth.
01:23:19.000 He's just talking.
01:23:22.000 I did a bunch of shows with Otto, and one of the shows I did was also at Dangerfields, and there's this kid in the front row, he's like, man, I can see his lips moving.
01:23:33.000 Yeah, he's not hiding his lips.
01:23:34.000 You're missing everything!
01:23:37.000 Pay attention to the dummy.
01:23:38.000 It's a sledge of disbelief.
01:23:40.000 But this kid was so dumb, and he was sitting there going, man, I can see his lips moving.
01:23:45.000 You're missing it, dumbass.
01:23:47.000 Can I grab this ice?
01:23:48.000 Yeah, it's water.
01:23:49.000 Yeah, just grab it.
01:23:51.000 Grab it and dump it.
01:23:51.000 I think it's like one giant chunk, unfortunately.
01:23:54.000 Just smash it on the table.
01:23:55.000 There you go.
01:23:56.000 Do you want some?
01:23:57.000 Yeah, give me some of that.
01:23:58.000 Thank you.
01:23:59.000 Definitely.
01:24:00.000 COVID. Yeah, he was...
01:24:02.000 I'm not scared.
01:24:02.000 Yeah, me neither.
01:24:03.000 He's not a guy that people talk about enough.
01:24:08.000 Otto was brilliant.
01:24:09.000 And he was also...
01:24:11.000 The type of comedy that he did was just so reckless.
01:24:13.000 I mean, you don't see that at all.
01:24:15.000 It's a dying form, man.
01:24:16.000 But his was amazing.
01:24:17.000 He had an amazing thing because the dummy would say the fucked up things and we'd go, oh, that's crazy.
01:24:22.000 How can you say that?
01:24:24.000 Yeah, I wonder if there's a comic that could do it today and the dummy just says some outlandish shit.
01:24:28.000 And then he'd be like, can they cancel you?
01:24:30.000 I wrote it.
01:24:31.000 It's the fucking dummy.
01:24:32.000 It's coming out of the dummy.
01:24:33.000 Someone should have, like, blue hair, and they should be, like, the progressive, ultra-liberal, and then they should have a dummy that's their dad, who's like an Archie Bunker, who says some really funny, fucked-up shit.
01:24:47.000 That would be a brilliant act, because you would be exonerated, especially if you claim non-binary status before you started your career.
01:24:54.000 Crush it.
01:24:54.000 You would kill it, because you just get away with me.
01:24:56.000 You're a member of that protected class.
01:24:58.000 You've got pink hair.
01:24:59.000 Yeah.
01:25:00.000 You go up there with some fucking peace shirt on or something like that, and then you have a dummy.
01:25:05.000 And the dummy just says, horrible, horrible, horrible shit.
01:25:08.000 Yeah.
01:25:09.000 It's brilliant, dude.
01:25:10.000 Someone's going to do that.
01:25:12.000 God, I hope they do.
01:25:12.000 Why not?
01:25:13.000 Please do it.
01:25:14.000 It's a dying art form, dude.
01:25:16.000 The ventriloquist art form is kind of a dying art form.
01:25:19.000 Do you know how much fucking money Jeff Dunham makes?
01:25:21.000 I told you Forbes Top Ten.
01:25:23.000 When I was at Stand Up Live, it was probably four years ago.
01:25:26.000 You know, taking sales were good, and I'm walking to get food, and it's the middle of the afternoon.
01:25:32.000 I look over it, because it's right across from where the Suns play.
01:25:35.000 Yeah.
01:25:36.000 Packed!
01:25:36.000 I asked the manager, I go, I know the Suns were playing in the middle of the day.
01:25:40.000 He goes, oh no, it's Jeff Dunham.
01:25:42.000 He has a 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock, and an 8 o'clock show.
01:25:46.000 What?
01:25:47.000 Excuse me?
01:25:47.000 He has a 2 p.m.?
01:25:49.000 It was like 2, 5, and 8. Holy shit.
01:25:51.000 I'm like, hold on, hold on.
01:25:53.000 He sold out Suns Arena?
01:25:55.000 Three times?
01:25:56.000 Three times the same day.
01:25:57.000 He goes, yeah, it's three more tomorrow.
01:25:58.000 Oh!
01:26:00.000 He goes to all families and kids.
01:26:01.000 Wow.
01:26:02.000 That's crazy.
01:26:03.000 My dad wouldn't come to my comedy.
01:26:05.000 He'd go to Jeff Dunham.
01:26:07.000 Yeah, there's guys like that that completely escape mainstream media, but they're just killing it.
01:26:13.000 Crush it.
01:26:14.000 That's wild.
01:26:15.000 Are those real numbers?
01:26:16.000 That's insane.
01:26:17.000 I'm telling you, dude.
01:26:17.000 And I was like, who the fuck is over there?
01:26:18.000 If that's true, he's probably the number one act in the country.
01:26:21.000 He's up there.
01:26:22.000 He has to be.
01:26:23.000 I mean, if he can sell out...
01:26:25.000 In Phoenix, six shows in an arena?
01:26:28.000 Well, those comics that do that, right?
01:26:31.000 I haven't even heard of that.
01:26:32.000 Like Fluffy, right?
01:26:33.000 Fluffy sold Dodger's statement twice now.
01:26:37.000 Jesus Christ.
01:26:38.000 Twice.
01:26:38.000 I think he's for the Netflix thing.
01:26:40.000 Twice.
01:26:40.000 How many people are in that?
01:26:43.000 That's gotta be like 60,000.
01:26:45.000 I don't know.
01:26:45.000 I know they were telling him like not to do it.
01:26:47.000 There's some weird story.
01:26:49.000 I was talking to Enrique at The Laugh Factor about it.
01:26:50.000 They were telling him like not to do it because it was outside.
01:26:53.000 And then he was like, well, let's see how it goes.
01:26:55.000 And I guess it sold out in like fucking, you know, an hour.
01:26:58.000 Like, you want to do another one?
01:26:59.000 He's like, let's see how it goes.
01:27:00.000 And that bitch sold out.
01:27:01.000 Fluffy's a beast, dude.
01:27:03.000 Look at that.
01:27:05.000 Gabriel Fluffy Iglesias at second Dodger Stadium date after becoming first comedian to sell out historic venue.
01:27:12.000 Holy fuck.
01:27:14.000 Good for him.
01:27:15.000 Dude, they have his picture up at the ice house.
01:27:18.000 They'll be like...
01:27:20.000 57 sold-out shows in a row?
01:27:22.000 Yeah.
01:27:22.000 It's like, holy fuck, dude.
01:27:24.000 56,000.
01:27:25.000 Okay.
01:27:26.000 A Glacier show will have a little over 45,000 people.
01:27:30.000 So he sold 90,000 seats.
01:27:33.000 It says Dave Chappelle's doing Fortnite, the Hollywood Bowl, which has a capacity of 17.5.
01:27:37.000 He sold out those dates.
01:27:39.000 It put 70,000 butts in the seats.
01:27:41.000 Wow.
01:27:42.000 Look at this hater, but there are plenty of tickets left for Chappelle's show.
01:27:45.000 Oh, stop.
01:27:46.000 Fucking hater.
01:27:47.000 Dude, how about- Maybe they're just saying that because you could go out and get tickets.
01:27:50.000 Nah, sounds like some salty bitch.
01:27:51.000 Well, they were just comparing them against how good Gabriel's doing.
01:27:54.000 Is the person who wrote that article Latino?
01:27:56.000 It might just be proud.
01:27:58.000 Might be that.
01:27:59.000 Might be a big Gabriel fan.
01:28:00.000 Doesn't tell you?
01:28:01.000 I mean, I can't tell by the name.
01:28:02.000 What's the name?
01:28:03.000 Tom Tapp.
01:28:05.000 Two peas.
01:28:06.000 Two peas?
01:28:07.000 No.
01:28:07.000 Nah, that's a white guy, for sure.
01:28:09.000 Probably a white guy.
01:28:09.000 Yeah, big fluffy fan, though.
01:28:11.000 Probably there's a lot to say at the local barista spot.
01:28:14.000 Yeah.
01:28:14.000 With his frickin' Americano.
01:28:16.000 But also, you're not throwing shade at Chappelle, because Chappelle still sold more tickets.
01:28:21.000 Well, it doesn't matter.
01:28:22.000 It's still crazy, but it's still...
01:28:23.000 Both of them are fucking crushing it.
01:28:24.000 I'm just happy for Gabriel.
01:28:26.000 He's a great guy.
01:28:26.000 Happy for both of them.
01:28:27.000 Dude, when I met with all these networks, they were talking about billboards.
01:28:31.000 So I called my team.
01:28:33.000 I was like, hey, how much is a billboard?
01:28:34.000 They told me.
01:28:34.000 Here's the thing you don't know about billboards in L.A. First of all, Netflix and ABC owns all of them down Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard.
01:28:42.000 All of them.
01:28:43.000 They own all of them, dude.
01:28:45.000 That's smart.
01:28:45.000 I get it.
01:28:46.000 So we're trying to get one, and we've been working on it for months, months.
01:28:49.000 Then finally, something happened where one popped up off Hollywood Boulevard.
01:28:54.000 Popped up.
01:28:54.000 How much is it?
01:28:55.000 They tell me, like, I'll take it.
01:28:57.000 Cool, but once you know it's off Hollywood Boulevard, and it's during the Netflix big festival, and it's right where Dave Chappelle's performing.
01:29:06.000 But for some reason, it's open.
01:29:09.000 But we didn't know in the next hour.
01:29:11.000 Like, hold on.
01:29:12.000 Hollywood Boulevard and all those comedy fans come in, I'll fucking take it, dude.
01:29:16.000 Take it right now.
01:29:17.000 So we fucking got this billboard.
01:29:19.000 They just put it up, I think, last night.
01:29:21.000 This fucking giant billboard off Hollywood Boulevard.
01:29:23.000 I don't think it does anything as far as views because it's so fucking old school.
01:29:27.000 It's more just a flex.
01:29:28.000 Yeah, it's a flex.
01:29:29.000 When I went to meet with everybody, they told me billboards.
01:29:31.000 I'm like, Okay, I'll do that.
01:29:33.000 It's literally just a show, you know, and obviously I have some other resource because I have a team behind me, but I can, you know, shoot my own special, cut the sizzles, commercials, billboard, whatever these networks offer, I can do.
01:29:45.000 Yeah, and you don't have to share it.
01:29:47.000 That's the thing.
01:29:48.000 How many people are involved in a network production?
01:29:53.000 Like if you're going to do a Comedy Central special, how many people do you have to talk to?
01:29:56.000 How many people at the network have to approve it?
01:29:59.000 There's a lot going on there.
01:30:01.000 And then also it's only on at, you know, Tuesday night at 8 p.m.
01:30:04.000 or whenever they decide to put it on.
01:30:06.000 How many times after that do they have to air it?
01:30:08.000 And is it going to be on the streaming site?
01:30:11.000 And okay, what kind of traffic is your streaming site getting?
01:30:14.000 It's one of those things, like, the beautiful thing about YouTube is that it has a built-in massive, massive audience.
01:30:21.000 And if something's good, people share it.
01:30:23.000 And it's easy to share.
01:30:25.000 They've got it down.
01:30:26.000 They know how to do it.
01:30:27.000 And you can cut clips, and then people can share clips.
01:30:30.000 And then also, when I met with them, I said, okay, this is, you know, again, I did it all myself.
01:30:34.000 I didn't hire a publisher or anything like that.
01:30:36.000 So I was like, just through my connections, these are the shows I'm going.
01:30:39.000 This is how many people we'll reach.
01:30:41.000 Yeah.
01:30:43.000 So I'm just gonna give that to you guys?
01:30:45.000 I can do it.
01:30:46.000 There's no reason, you know?
01:30:48.000 It's also, all it does is limit your reach for a specific amount of money.
01:30:52.000 It's like they give you a specific amount of money to limit the reach of your show.
01:30:55.000 That's really what they're doing.
01:30:56.000 It used to be that, like, they were, like, if you got a Comedy Central special Or if you've got...
01:31:01.000 The ones that really work now are Netflix, HBO, and maybe Showtime.
01:31:06.000 Those still really work because they do have apps that a lot of people use.
01:31:10.000 But if you want it to look like what's the difference between one of their apps, what kind of traffic they get versus YouTube.
01:31:17.000 Correct.
01:31:17.000 It's not even close.
01:31:18.000 YouTube's crazy.
01:31:20.000 Also the potential.
01:31:20.000 Also, if you're going to do it for free and just release it, you can release it on Facebook, you can release it on YouTube, you can release it on Vimeo.
01:31:27.000 Cut as many clips as you want.
01:31:29.000 What is it?
01:31:30.000 Rumble?
01:31:31.000 Rumble?
01:31:31.000 Put it on Rumble.
01:31:32.000 You could put it on Odyssey, Roku.
01:31:34.000 There's a lot of things you could put it on.
01:31:36.000 And that's, for you, ultimately, it's an advertisement.
01:31:40.000 Correct.
01:31:41.000 People to come see you live.
01:31:42.000 To say, come see me live.
01:31:43.000 And that's the way, you know, I came up different than you did, where, you know, when you were coming up, especially, I would even say Netflix now, it's a little different, but when you were coming up, you know, maybe eight guys got specials.
01:31:55.000 You know, but now it's more of like an advertisement.
01:31:57.000 Just, you know, you're doubling down your shelf.
01:31:59.000 Come see me on the road.
01:31:59.000 If you like this, I'll be here, you know?
01:32:02.000 Yeah.
01:32:02.000 That's all it is.
01:32:03.000 And the thing about stand-up specials as opposed to anything else is you don't need anybody else.
01:32:10.000 Like, you need someone else if you want to film a show.
01:32:13.000 Like, if you have the idea for, like, some sort of a sitcom and you wrote it, you wrote in these characters, You're going to need people.
01:32:22.000 You're going to need camera people, sound people, lighting people.
01:32:25.000 You're going to need set people, set designers.
01:32:28.000 You're going to need a lot of shit.
01:32:29.000 Then it makes sense to plug into an existing network.
01:32:32.000 Correct.
01:32:33.000 Because it's like, okay, we're in the creative side and you guys are in the facilitating side and the executive side.
01:32:41.000 Let's get together and have some fun.
01:32:43.000 That makes sense.
01:32:44.000 But with comedy, it's like, what exactly is your part?
01:32:48.000 What are you doing?
01:32:49.000 You're deciding what I can and can't say.
01:32:51.000 That's all you're doing.
01:32:54.000 There's no real budget other than the set.
01:32:57.000 The set and the crew, which my crew shot it, and the cameras were mine.
01:33:02.000 We have all that.
01:33:03.000 Nothing like a show.
01:33:05.000 No, not at all.
01:33:05.000 The moving parts of a show, you're talking to what?
01:33:07.000 And the sets and insurance and all that shit.
01:33:09.000 And all the different cast members, they have to know their lives.
01:33:12.000 There's lines, and they have to rehearse, and there's writers, and there's revisions.
01:33:15.000 It's a different animal than stand-up.
01:33:18.000 So when they jump in in the stand-up world, I don't think it's necessary.
01:33:23.000 I don't think it's good for us.
01:33:24.000 Because then you start dealing with other people's ideas of what you should and shouldn't say versus your idea.
01:33:31.000 Like, there's some stuff that I did in the past that I wouldn't do now on stage, bits that I did that I wouldn't do anymore.
01:33:36.000 But if you look at the overall thing of it, what I could say is that it was all what I wanted to do.
01:33:44.000 I tried it out, and maybe I didn't like the reaction, or maybe I didn't think about it the same way that I think about it now.
01:33:50.000 But it's all a process of learning and getting better at it.
01:33:53.000 As soon as you interject other people into that process, you're subject to their whims.
01:33:58.000 And then people have egos.
01:33:59.000 They want to be like, oh, I'm the one who told them to wear this, or I'm the one who told them to not say that.
01:34:05.000 Let's do the special in black and white.
01:34:07.000 Especially right now.
01:34:08.000 Especially right now.
01:34:09.000 Especially when I was shopping.
01:34:11.000 It was a bit of a different time than it even is now.
01:34:14.000 You know, I have some bits about vaccines and Newsom and Garcetti, and they're like, dude, we're cutting this.
01:34:19.000 And I, in the meeting room, you know, again, I'm not where you're at, so I was like, well, I guess I could compromise on that.
01:34:27.000 And then I would go back and You know, I just feel like, you know, I'm like, why am I doing this?
01:34:33.000 Why the fuck would I cut that stuff?
01:34:35.000 I love that stuff.
01:34:36.000 It works.
01:34:37.000 People dig it.
01:34:37.000 You're going to let this guy decide?
01:34:39.000 And for what, man?
01:34:40.000 And then I think, too, I saw, you know, like the way they vilified you and the media and stuff like that.
01:34:46.000 And it's just like, this is all fucking malarkey.
01:34:48.000 Like, what?
01:34:49.000 And you're going to bow down to this, dude?
01:34:51.000 You want to be...
01:34:52.000 There's different people.
01:34:53.000 You want to be accepted by who?
01:34:55.000 What approval are you looking for?
01:34:57.000 There's different people.
01:34:57.000 There's regular people, the people that are around when they're having a drink at your house, when there's no cameras, when it's just you and another person.
01:35:07.000 That's people when they're at their most normal.
01:35:10.000 And then there's people when they're in corporate positions.
01:35:13.000 And then there's people that are in these jobs where you have to abide by this rigid set of rules of how do you do things and behavior and what you dress like.
01:35:26.000 But also, they don't want to be responsible for, who greenlit that?
01:35:30.000 Who allowed them to do that?
01:35:31.000 What are you guys doing?
01:35:32.000 And then they start getting backlash.
01:35:33.000 They're like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
01:35:35.000 And then they take it down, right?
01:35:36.000 And you sold it to them.
01:35:37.000 But that world of not having control of your life, there's consequences to not having control of your life.
01:35:44.000 There's consequences to being an executive where you're working 16 hours a day, Five, six days a week and you never do anything else.
01:35:53.000 You're obsessed.
01:35:54.000 Yeah, I'm sure you have a nice car.
01:35:55.000 I'm sure your house is amazing.
01:35:57.000 I'm sure you're balling.
01:35:58.000 I'm sure you're balling.
01:35:59.000 Comes out of price though.
01:35:59.000 But you're paying a fucking heavy price.
01:36:02.000 And the difference between the price that an executive pays versus the price that a comic pays...
01:36:07.000 It's quite different.
01:36:08.000 You know, so when people say you work hard, like, sure, that's something you love to do.
01:36:12.000 Yes.
01:36:12.000 But real working hard is doing something you fucking hate because you don't want your kids to be hungry.
01:36:18.000 Correct.
01:36:18.000 That's real working hard.
01:36:19.000 I don't do any of that.
01:36:20.000 No.
01:36:21.000 Yeah, again, you're the North Star, man, for a lot of comics.
01:36:24.000 And I think even with me at the level and put on YouTube and getting the billboards and shooting the commercial and sizzle and all my team doing it, it shows you, you know, we'll see what happens with it.
01:36:33.000 Nothing I can do now, but it's like you don't need anybody, dude.
01:36:37.000 If the material is good, it speaks for itself.
01:36:40.000 What we do need is friends.
01:36:42.000 And that's one of the best things about this internet culture as opposed to the culture that existed before.
01:36:48.000 It was like, for comics at least, we would try to get on sitcoms, we would try to get a spot on like a late night talk show was the key.
01:36:55.000 If you get a late night, even if a small network offered you a late night talk show, oh my god, it's a big deal.
01:37:00.000 And there's only a certain amount of spots, so it was like dog-eat-dog, dude.
01:37:03.000 That's exactly what the problem was.
01:37:05.000 And then when the internet opened up, we all looked at it differently because we realized, like, well, we actually benefit from being around each other.
01:37:13.000 Benefit from helping each other.
01:37:14.000 And again, I think you established that culture in comedy, especially at a time where it wasn't really, like, highlighted.
01:37:20.000 You know, you look at, like, with my special, I went, dude, Andrew Schultz and his team, I didn't ask him for anything, dude.
01:37:27.000 I didn't say, hey, help me out.
01:37:28.000 Nothing.
01:37:29.000 He hit me up.
01:37:30.000 Hey, man, when you're shooting, I'm going to come make sure it's ready to go.
01:37:34.000 I know.
01:37:35.000 That's amazing.
01:37:35.000 He goes, I'm going to come out.
01:37:36.000 Where are you taping at?
01:37:37.000 And it's middle of a pandemic.
01:37:39.000 I've got to run the hour, the half an hour show.
01:37:43.000 He goes, where are you taping at?
01:37:44.000 He was shooting a movie with Eddie Murphy for Netflix or something.
01:37:47.000 And he goes, I'm going to pull up to the late show.
01:37:50.000 I'm going to sit there and watch it as a fan, dude, and let you know.
01:37:53.000 I didn't ask him to do any of this, dude.
01:37:55.000 He comes, after being on set all day, Schultz, he comes, watches it, we talk in the back, and then he goes, let me know, man, because I know the YouTube algorithm, how it should look, stuff like that, and then has just been, here's my team.
01:38:09.000 Him and Akash, here's my fucking team, dude.
01:38:11.000 Any questions you have, use us.
01:38:13.000 So my team connects with his team, and then even, you know, People know you always support me, but even you and DiStefano and DiStefano are like, send it to me, man.
01:38:23.000 The edits here and just stuff that you guys have so much more experience.
01:38:28.000 What you guys say, I'm fucking sure as hell listening.
01:38:32.000 I really give you the credit.
01:38:34.000 You create this culture where we help each other out.
01:38:37.000 And in turn, I do the exact same with Chappelle and all these guys, and that's all you, man.
01:38:41.000 Well, that's a culture that comes from martial arts.
01:38:43.000 I agree.
01:38:44.000 In martial arts, you need trainers.
01:38:46.000 You need training partners.
01:38:46.000 You're only as good as your training partners.
01:38:47.000 Yeah, you need coaches, you need training partners, everybody works together.
01:38:51.000 And you're always helping people with different things that you see, because you also realize that it helps you.
01:38:57.000 Like, I always tell this story about my friend Brent.
01:39:00.000 When he went to, when he first started training at Tenth Planet, He was really good.
01:39:07.000 We always had fun battles.
01:39:09.000 We always rolled together hard.
01:39:11.000 And then he started teaching.
01:39:13.000 And the leap that he made within one year was crazy.
01:39:18.000 And I remember I had this conversation with him.
01:39:20.000 I was like, how did you get better so quick?
01:39:23.000 Like, you're so much better.
01:39:25.000 And he said, dude, it's all the teaching.
01:39:26.000 Because I have these paths solidified in my head.
01:39:30.000 And instead of guessing in the chaos, I know what's going on next.
01:39:34.000 Slows it down.
01:39:35.000 Yeah, it slows it down.
01:39:36.000 And I think that applies to comedy, too.
01:39:40.000 I think the helping of guys coming up helps everybody, because the more you talk about stand-up and the way you do it, the more it kind of affirms the value of it, and that there's a discipline to it, and that there's other guys that are doing the same thing I'm doing,
01:39:55.000 just doing it a different way.
01:39:56.000 And you learn it inside out as you're helping.
01:39:59.000 Yeah.
01:39:59.000 Helping, coaching, you know?
01:40:01.000 Yeah.
01:40:01.000 You can take stuff from that and apply it to your own shit.
01:40:04.000 Yeah, like when you see a friend's bit and it's too wordy, there's too many words in it, you're like, ooh, too many words.
01:40:10.000 Yeah.
01:40:18.000 For the most part, than the person that's actually saying it.
01:40:21.000 Because the person that's saying it, they've thought it through, maybe I'll say it this way, maybe I'll say it that way.
01:40:27.000 And then they say it, and maybe when they're saying it, they're a little confused, like, oh, I gotta explain this better.
01:40:32.000 And so they add a little extra words to it, and it just makes it kind of clunky.
01:40:37.000 You can see that on the outside if you're a comic watching a comic.
01:40:43.000 You're like, ah, this is all bullshit.
01:40:44.000 You've got to get all that out.
01:40:45.000 This is what you're trying to say.
01:40:46.000 You're trying to say this and go straight to that.
01:40:49.000 And that's something that even if I can't tell you how to do stand-up, Because everybody's different.
01:40:55.000 You know, you got your William Montgomery's, you got your David Lucas's, and then you got your Neil Brennan's, and then you got your Sebastian's.
01:41:02.000 Everybody's got a different style.
01:41:03.000 But there's one thing, is like, get to the fucking point.
01:41:07.000 The economy of words seems to be one of those core principles that you can kind of apply to almost everybody's act.
01:41:14.000 When you got a lot of bunch of nonsensical shit that you could explain far quicker, you're taxing people's attention span.
01:41:22.000 The only reason why they're listening is because they've entrusted in you that you're going to be funny or interesting.
01:41:26.000 You know how to do this.
01:41:27.000 Yeah, funny or interesting.
01:41:28.000 And I think that's why it's cool to see Louis C.K. working it out because you could tell the bits that he's been doing that were monsters.
01:41:34.000 And, you know, it was a shit sandwich.
01:41:36.000 So it was great in the beginning, great at the end.
01:41:38.000 In the middle, you could tell that was his new shit.
01:41:39.000 It was cool to see him try and fit at his level.
01:41:43.000 Won a Grammy!
01:41:43.000 Yep.
01:41:44.000 For best fucking comic book 2021. Won a Grammy while being cancelled in the fucking middle of the storm.
01:41:50.000 That's how good he is at stand-up.
01:41:52.000 Yeah.
01:41:52.000 Won a fucking Grammy, you know.
01:41:54.000 Yeah.
01:41:54.000 And not only that, I think he won a Grammy for the one that's not as good as the newer one.
01:41:58.000 Agree.
01:41:59.000 I think that one, Sincerely, Louis C.K., is great.
01:42:02.000 It's very funny.
01:42:03.000 But then Sorry is even better.
01:42:05.000 Even better.
01:42:06.000 Even better.
01:42:07.000 So it was cool to see.
01:42:08.000 I hope he wins two years in a row.
01:42:10.000 Me too.
01:42:10.000 How about that?
01:42:10.000 Probably well.
01:42:11.000 After seeing his shit, it's cool to see at his level, this guy's been doing it forever, to see him a little chunky, a little clunky in the middle, and then comes back and, you know, he says what's up, and he's cool, he's super polite, but then he's on his notepad.
01:42:26.000 He's writing, writing notes, writing notes, writing notes.
01:42:28.000 Then we see him at the late show.
01:42:30.000 Slowly tightening it up.
01:42:32.000 There's no other way to do it, man.
01:42:34.000 Everybody goes through the same...
01:42:36.000 Whether you're Joe Rogan, Louis C.K., Kevin Hart, or an open-miker, this is the process.
01:42:41.000 I got a new bit.
01:42:42.000 I'll tell you about it after the show.
01:42:43.000 But on Tuesday, it killed.
01:42:45.000 And on Wednesday, it sucked.
01:42:47.000 Last night did?
01:42:48.000 It's just, I'll tell you about it later.
01:42:50.000 I'll tell you about it later.
01:42:50.000 I don't want to talk about it.
01:42:52.000 Dude, I had to go out of the room, you know, I haven't seen him do Stamp in a while, and the crowd was going fucking ape shit.
01:42:57.000 You know, I like the bullshit, because I haven't seen Tony and the guys in a while.
01:43:01.000 So I was bullshitting, and then I'm like, ah, fuck, I see Josette, and I go out there, and that place was fucking...
01:43:06.000 I texted you last night, I'm like, dude!
01:43:08.000 Yeah, I'm gonna...
01:43:09.000 You're fucking rocking!
01:43:10.000 I'm getting ready to film something.
01:43:11.000 I'm trying to figure out when, but I feel like I gotta let this baby out of my pussy.
01:43:16.000 I've been all...
01:43:18.000 I've been holding on to this comedy baby for too long.
01:43:22.000 For you too, it's like there's so many eyeballs on you, good or bad.
01:43:26.000 Yeah, but I have freedom.
01:43:28.000 No, I'm with you.
01:43:29.000 It doesn't matter.
01:43:29.000 It's okay.
01:43:30.000 I can show people how to live with eyeballs on you.
01:43:33.000 Correct.
01:43:34.000 You're built for the job.
01:43:36.000 There's a reason you're built like that, dude.
01:43:38.000 So you're going to have so many eyeballs on it, and then the material is so fucking good, it just shoves it down their throat even more.
01:43:47.000 Because if it was bad, all right, this is a nightmare.
01:43:49.000 I'm leaning into it.
01:43:51.000 It's fun.
01:43:52.000 Yeah.
01:43:52.000 And it's also like the enthusiasm of the people that are coming to see the shows is amazing.
01:43:57.000 I just feel...
01:44:00.000 I'm just super lucky.
01:44:02.000 I'm very fortunate, you know, in a lot of ways, man.
01:44:04.000 Very fortunate?
01:44:05.000 Super happy.
01:44:06.000 Yep, but you also work very hard, dude.
01:44:07.000 Don't, you know, don't take that away from me.
01:44:09.000 I don't work too hard.
01:44:10.000 I work hard enough.
01:44:12.000 I gotta balance an act that I'm doing.
01:44:14.000 I'm trying to do the Miyamoto Musashi thing has applied to comedy and obsession.
01:44:19.000 Like, I give myself...
01:44:20.000 This is what I think...
01:44:21.000 If I was going to give advice to anybody who's obsessed with comedy...
01:44:24.000 I could use this advice to have a problem.
01:44:26.000 Have another thing that you're also obsessed with.
01:44:28.000 Give yourself one more thing that's a secondary thing.
01:44:31.000 Like you got your A thing, that's your career, but you should have a B thing.
01:44:34.000 So if you bomb and you're still good at the B thing, you could still be okay.
01:44:39.000 You know there's a process.
01:44:40.000 You're not going to jump off the cliff.
01:44:41.000 If your whole life, yeah, it's like one of the things that is a problem with fighters is that their whole life is fighting.
01:44:46.000 So a loss is insanely devastating.
01:44:49.000 I don't have to tell you this.
01:44:50.000 Yeah.
01:44:50.000 And in order to gain back your feeling of, like, identity, you have to go fuck somebody else up.
01:44:57.000 Because that's all you're known for.
01:44:59.000 You're only associated with that, and if your last time out was a loss...
01:45:03.000 Yeah.
01:45:03.000 Dude, when I say the valleys are low, I've ate...
01:45:08.000 Dick on a stage before, dude.
01:45:10.000 It just, you know, it happens to everybody.
01:45:11.000 I've ate dick many of times at the Comedy Store or the Improver Laugh Factory.
01:45:14.000 I've ate all the fucking cocks.
01:45:16.000 Yeah.
01:45:17.000 And don't get me wrong, it sucks.
01:45:19.000 Yeah.
01:45:19.000 But I can go across town and do another show and redeem myself or figure it out or go up the next night.
01:45:26.000 But the lows in fighting are so low.
01:45:30.000 It's so devastating.
01:45:32.000 Yeah.
01:45:33.000 I don't know if there's anything, maybe losing Super Bowl, throwing an interception in the fourth quarter.
01:45:37.000 I don't think so, because there's other people involved with you.
01:45:40.000 They're sharing it with you.
01:45:41.000 The peaks and the valleys, there's no in-between.
01:45:45.000 It's like, you win, it's, dude, oh my god.
01:45:48.000 I remember when I knocked out Chris Tushesher, he was 20-1, Brock Lesnar's training partner, and I knocked him out in, whatever, a minute and seven seconds.
01:45:56.000 I remember getting to the back and just getting on my hands and knees and crying, being so happy that I didn't get hurt and I got a win, and I was moving on to the next step, whatever that is.
01:46:06.000 It was Gabriel Gonzaga.
01:46:07.000 I was...
01:46:08.000 I was so relieved, man.
01:46:10.000 And I was so relieved I didn't let my teammates down and my training partners.
01:46:14.000 And there's so many moving pieces that go into it.
01:46:17.000 It's just so much more than the fighter.
01:46:19.000 And I was so relieved that, you know, I'm going to get my win bonus and be able to pay them more.
01:46:24.000 Can they have families and kids?
01:46:25.000 Like, people don't think about all the stuff that's affected with that.
01:46:29.000 And then the valley is...
01:46:31.000 So low, man.
01:46:32.000 I get emotional talking about it.
01:46:34.000 It's so fucking low, dude.
01:46:36.000 So when those guys lose at that level, there's nothing like it, man.
01:46:41.000 And I do think that's helped me out so much in comedy.
01:46:46.000 In stand-up, you know, because it can get dark, you know, especially for a guy like me coming to comedy, looking the way I do, you know, being my size and being this weird oddball in this comedy world, which is filled with oddballs already, but I'm even fucking weirder.
01:46:59.000 That's the thing, that's what bothers me, is like, I am accustomed to being around savages, right?
01:47:05.000 I'm accustomed to being around guys like you and fighters and From all the years of working with the UFC and all my years of martial arts, it's normal to me.
01:47:14.000 And thank God, man.
01:47:16.000 Thank God, dude.
01:47:17.000 I wouldn't have a career brother.
01:47:18.000 Thank God, dude.
01:47:20.000 Thank God you were like, yeah, I know he looks fucking weird, dude.
01:47:23.000 I know he doesn't look like us.
01:47:24.000 Give him a shot, man.
01:47:25.000 He's funny.
01:47:25.000 Give him a fucking shot.
01:47:26.000 And you're a super nice guy, man.
01:47:28.000 The thing is, like, there's some mean, shitty people out there.
01:47:32.000 You're not one of them.
01:47:32.000 You're a super nice guy.
01:47:34.000 And so when people are mean to you, I'm like, man, there's people to be mean to.
01:47:38.000 You want to make fun of them.
01:47:39.000 Like, he makes fun of himself.
01:47:40.000 Make fun of everybody.
01:47:41.000 Trust me, you can't say anything that I don't think of myself already.
01:47:43.000 Make fun of everybody.
01:47:44.000 That stuff doesn't bother me.
01:47:45.000 But here's the thing, Jeff.
01:47:48.000 I was built for this.
01:47:50.000 That doesn't affect me, dude.
01:47:51.000 Yes, I know.
01:47:52.000 Coming from football and fighting?
01:47:54.000 The darkness of losses and fighting.
01:47:56.000 They don't understand that.
01:47:58.000 There's no lower.
01:47:59.000 No, there's no lower.
01:48:01.000 You're going to tweet at me?
01:48:02.000 There's so many fighters that are fighting.
01:48:04.000 I got knocked out in Brazil.
01:48:08.000 Dude.
01:48:09.000 Bro.
01:48:09.000 Bro.
01:48:11.000 I think I was there for that one.
01:48:12.000 Dude, hold on.
01:48:13.000 Was I there for that one?
01:48:14.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
01:48:15.000 Yeah, it was the first time they used to win Brazil in fucking I don't know how long.
01:48:18.000 It was the co-main event against Noel Garrett.
01:48:20.000 It's like fighting.
01:48:20.000 Who was the main event?
01:48:21.000 Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin.
01:48:23.000 Dude, it's like fighting Michael Jordan.
01:48:25.000 I don't know if I was there for that.
01:48:26.000 It's like fighting Michael Jordan in Chicago.
01:48:28.000 Everybody hated me.
01:48:29.000 Whew.
01:48:30.000 My family flew out there.
01:48:32.000 I got paid 16 and 16 to fight Noguera, who I was supposed to starch, dude.
01:48:37.000 And, you know, you're getting a lot of shit for that, so it's like...
01:48:40.000 You were never supposed to starch Noguera.
01:48:41.000 I was a heavy favorite, dude.
01:48:43.000 But whoever's talking to you like that...
01:48:45.000 Oh, no, I'm just...
01:48:46.000 As far as the odd makers go.
01:48:47.000 He wasn't that old then.
01:48:48.000 I know!
01:48:49.000 Yeah.
01:48:49.000 I know.
01:48:50.000 In Brazil?
01:48:51.000 I would have warned you heavily about that.
01:48:54.000 I could have used that.
01:48:55.000 Yeah, I wish I was there in your corner.
01:48:56.000 I would have said, patience.
01:48:58.000 Yeah.
01:48:58.000 I would have said, you can't rush in on this motherfucker.
01:49:01.000 And I rocked him with an uppercut.
01:49:02.000 He's one of the most durable guys that's ever existed.
01:49:06.000 Yeah, he could have told me that.
01:49:06.000 This guy ran over by a truck when he was a kid.
01:49:08.000 I know.
01:49:09.000 That's why he has that big scar.
01:49:10.000 That guy in the Bob Sapp fight.
01:49:12.000 When Bob Sapp fucking pile-drived him, dude.
01:49:15.000 Broke his neck.
01:49:16.000 Yeah, his neck was fucked.
01:49:17.000 He's never been the same.
01:49:18.000 Never been the same.
01:49:19.000 Nice guy in the world.
01:49:20.000 We were talking about this on the BJ podcast.
01:49:22.000 Was that before or after the Fedor fights?
01:49:25.000 I don't think we ever resolved that.
01:49:27.000 No, Garrett Bob Sapp?
01:49:28.000 Yeah.
01:49:29.000 That was before the Fedors.
01:49:30.000 Was it before the Fedor fights?
01:49:32.000 That's too bad.
01:49:33.000 That's too bad.
01:49:36.000 Because Bob Sapp was 375 with abs.
01:49:40.000 I mean, he really was.
01:49:41.000 All natural.
01:49:42.000 Yeah, 100% from Earth.
01:49:44.000 It's completely normal.
01:49:45.000 Stuff from Earth.
01:49:45.000 Dude, he's...
01:49:47.000 Natural Lotus from Earth.
01:49:49.000 Dude, he fought the whole, legit, the whole 50. It's from Earth.
01:49:54.000 He was so big.
01:49:55.000 He was the greatest physical presence that the combat sports world has ever known.
01:49:59.000 Didn't have it here.
01:50:00.000 Bob Sapp in his prime.
01:50:02.000 Didn't have it here.
01:50:02.000 He beat Ernesto, who's twice.
01:50:04.000 Twice.
01:50:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:50:06.000 It's a big deal, man, even though...
01:50:08.000 It was the Hulk versus Captain America.
01:50:11.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:50:11.000 It was.
01:50:13.000 Cro Cop flatlined him.
01:50:14.000 Remember that?
01:50:15.000 Cro Cop broke his eyeball.
01:50:17.000 Yeah.
01:50:18.000 How about when I fought Cro Cop in the back?
01:50:20.000 I was watching Cro Cop's old highlights.
01:50:22.000 No!
01:50:24.000 I'm glad you watched those.
01:50:26.000 Dude, I'm savage.
01:50:27.000 I needed that, and I wish I had done the same process for the Noguera fight.
01:50:32.000 I was like, hey, he's the old Noguera.
01:50:32.000 I'm a starchist in Brazil.
01:50:34.000 But for Cro Cop, I was so amped up for that because I went into that fight watching all his old highlights because I was expecting that version.
01:50:43.000 So you'll see I'm super focused in that fight.
01:50:46.000 Ready to go, man.
01:50:47.000 And I had a fucking war on my hands.
01:50:49.000 Yeah.
01:50:51.000 Noguera, you know, somewhere along the lines after knocking out Krokop, all the press and media and being on covers of magazines, as a young kid, I got super cocky and I paid for it.
01:51:01.000 But again, I wouldn't change anything.
01:51:03.000 But when you talk about the valleys of fighting and just life, when, you know, you fought on a Saturday and most people go home on a Sunday...
01:51:13.000 I was so sure I was gonna starch no gear in Brazil, I flew my family friends out, and we stayed another seven days.
01:51:20.000 Jesus.
01:51:20.000 So I'm there with a black guy I concussed, walking around fucking Rio de Janeiro with my family, dude.
01:51:26.000 Oh my god.
01:51:26.000 After getting knocked out.
01:51:28.000 Oh my god.
01:51:29.000 On pay-per-view.
01:51:30.000 I'm sure a lot of people saw it too.
01:51:32.000 On Brazil?
01:51:33.000 Yeah.
01:51:33.000 Well, all of Brazil saw it.
01:51:34.000 All of Brazil.
01:51:35.000 So you're walking through, dude.
01:51:36.000 But they were so grateful.
01:51:38.000 They were so nice to me, man.
01:51:40.000 Imagine if you were Chael Sonnen.
01:51:41.000 I know, dude.
01:51:44.000 Or Conor.
01:51:44.000 When Conor talks shit about Brazil.
01:51:46.000 Oh my god, dude.
01:51:47.000 Oh my god.
01:51:48.000 But again, all that stuff.
01:51:50.000 Colby.
01:51:50.000 Oh my god.
01:51:51.000 Who's talked more shit than Colby?
01:51:53.000 We'll get there, dude.
01:51:53.000 Roman for Beast over Doom hit it with a boomerang.
01:51:56.000 A boomerang.
01:51:58.000 But dude, going through that shit, it's like I have this armor on me, man.
01:52:02.000 They got me ready for comedy.
01:52:04.000 So, you know, I'm like a fucking racehorse.
01:52:06.000 I'm like this, Joe.
01:52:07.000 All this stuff.
01:52:08.000 I don't see any of you.
01:52:09.000 I post in Ghost, and I tell my team, like, only let me know the positive stuff.
01:52:15.000 Life is too good, man.
01:52:16.000 Things are great, man.
01:52:17.000 I live in the real world, too.
01:52:18.000 It's like when you were going through all your shit...
01:52:21.000 You know, you're on every fucking headline and all that stuff.
01:52:23.000 I realized how much bullshit it is online.
01:52:27.000 It really opened my eyes.
01:52:29.000 It helped me out, to be honest.
01:52:30.000 Because I realized how much bullshit all that media is.
01:52:35.000 And it's not real, dude.
01:52:36.000 Because they need clicks.
01:52:38.000 And they're getting clicks.
01:52:38.000 Now that Trump's out, they need clicks off you.
01:52:40.000 And I realized it's so much...
01:52:43.000 Bullshit.
01:52:44.000 And I get calls from friends and family because they know we're close.
01:52:47.000 Like, dude, your buddy Joe, you believe this?
01:52:49.000 Hold on.
01:52:50.000 Did you read the article?
01:52:51.000 Do you know the guy?
01:52:53.000 Like, close family, dude.
01:52:54.000 Like, there's nobody in my life that has done more for me than Joe Rogan.
01:52:59.000 And you're reading this fucking article?
01:53:01.000 I'm telling you!
01:53:02.000 And I go, do you trust me?
01:53:04.000 Yeah.
01:53:04.000 I'm fucking telling you, man.
01:53:06.000 They couldn't be more off.
01:53:07.000 But then when I would go, you know, every morning I'd go to the same coffee shop or I'd, you know, go get my foods and I would have interactions with people.
01:53:15.000 That wasn't the same narrative.
01:53:17.000 Nobody.
01:53:18.000 People were like, dude, how about Joe?
01:53:20.000 You know, he's this, this, this.
01:53:21.000 No.
01:53:22.000 They're like, dude, you believe this bullshit, man?
01:53:24.000 Can you believe?
01:53:24.000 That's what the majority of people do.
01:53:26.000 The real people.
01:53:27.000 The benefit of having a podcast is the people that know you.
01:53:30.000 They know you.
01:53:31.000 Correct.
01:53:31.000 They don't know you like you can't hide.
01:53:37.000 That's who you are with everything you say, everything you do.
01:53:41.000 That's who you are.
01:53:41.000 For good or bad.
01:53:43.000 The thing that's different between podcasts...
01:53:46.000 And anything where you're on a network is that someone else, even if you fuck up and say stupid shit like Whoopi Goldberg and they suspend you, but you only get there if you get chosen.
01:54:00.000 There's a way that you can do it where you have to, like, there's commercials, you have to get everything in in seven minutes, and then there's the next commercial, and you're dealing with a lot of fucking filters.
01:54:11.000 A lot of variables.
01:54:12.000 So if you get in trouble, they don't really know what you're like.
01:54:16.000 Like, what is she like when the camera's off?
01:54:19.000 Is that a professional way of talking?
01:54:21.000 Correct.
01:54:22.000 What is that professional way of talking?
01:54:23.000 When someone's like, okay, so, what we learned today in a poll is that 54% of Americans don't believe that Joe Biden, like, really?
01:54:34.000 Who talks like that?
01:54:35.000 Yeah, what is this?
01:54:36.000 What is that, right?
01:54:36.000 So that thing doesn't resonate with people.
01:54:39.000 No.
01:54:39.000 Because if you were in a room with her, and it was just you and her, and she was talking like that, that would be crazy.
01:54:43.000 Like, why are you talking like this?
01:54:45.000 This is nuts.
01:54:46.000 But it's accepted that you talk like that on television, on these shows.
01:54:50.000 And then the thing becomes the only way to get any attention is to argue.
01:54:54.000 So everybody's arguing.
01:54:56.000 Especially on that show.
01:54:56.000 And they're talking over each other.
01:54:58.000 Yeah, it's a nightmare.
01:54:59.000 Nobody has good views.
01:55:00.000 That doesn't work with people.
01:55:02.000 It doesn't feel right.
01:55:04.000 Not the masses.
01:55:05.000 It might work with some of those dummies out there.
01:55:07.000 But in general, you've got to remember...
01:55:10.000 I learned early on that social media is not real.
01:55:12.000 I go on the road, I talk to real people.
01:55:15.000 I see them.
01:55:16.000 The meet and greets.
01:55:16.000 I see these people.
01:55:18.000 Social media represents a population of people that are expressing themselves in a limited format.
01:55:23.000 Correct.
01:55:23.000 It's a format that's only text and you don't experience social cues.
01:55:27.000 You say things that you might, you know, maybe you're a little drunk or maybe you're angry or maybe you feel sad, whatever.
01:55:32.000 And you say things that are mean.
01:55:34.000 And that's a feeling that you have in that moment.
01:55:37.000 The problem is that then it's documented.
01:55:39.000 And then maybe you don't even feel that way 20 minutes later.
01:55:42.000 But you sure as fuck wouldn't say that to Whoopi Goldberg's face.
01:55:45.000 If you saw it on the street, you wouldn't be like, Whoopi!
01:55:47.000 Yeah, you'd be...
01:55:48.000 Never!
01:55:49.000 Humans don't act like that.
01:55:50.000 It would be horrible if you did that.
01:55:52.000 But people feel so comfortable with doing that online.
01:55:54.000 So people feel comfortable with communicating online in a way they would never in person.
01:55:59.000 I just don't think that's good.
01:56:01.000 The only time it's good is when maybe you have information, especially if you're living under some horrible government, and you have information that needs to be distributed and you need to be anonymous.
01:56:16.000 But other than that, I feel like We're all moving in a general direction of just trying to have a better society and a better life.
01:56:31.000 And it applies to everything we do.
01:56:33.000 But the movement would show, you know, you look at a lot of celebrities where Whether they're actors, comedians, a lot of them aren't engaged in social media anymore.
01:56:42.000 They're going, that's just not good for me, man.
01:56:44.000 But that's the difference between podcasts and people that act, right?
01:56:48.000 Of course you're going to engage in social media.
01:56:50.000 This is way more intimate than any social media will ever put out.
01:56:54.000 Like, having a conversation, just you and me hanging out.
01:56:57.000 Like, this is way more intimate than any social media, than anybody can ever put out.
01:57:00.000 It's also, you and I are so basically the only way we catch up, dude.
01:57:04.000 Yeah, sometimes.
01:57:05.000 Sometimes, you know, we talk on the phone every week.
01:57:07.000 We hung out last night.
01:57:07.000 Yeah, I'm just saying, and we talk on the phone all the time, but I'm just saying, as far as three hours, like when Theo did your show, I call him, you know, he's all nervous, and he goes, man, I don't talk to my therapist for three hours, man.
01:57:18.000 He goes, shit, I don't talk to my mom for three hours.
01:57:22.000 He's the funniest guy in the world.
01:57:23.000 He's the best.
01:57:24.000 The best.
01:57:25.000 He's so funny.
01:57:27.000 He's such an interesting dude because him and I are, and that's why the king of this thing in the wing works, we're so opposite where I'm like you.
01:57:35.000 I'm like a shark.
01:57:36.000 If I'm not moving, I go crazy, dude.
01:57:38.000 I have to be working.
01:57:39.000 Theo's the exact opposite.
01:57:41.000 He's like a sloth.
01:57:42.000 Where if you give him too much work, you're gonna break him.
01:57:45.000 So, hey dude, we have three King of the Stings this week.
01:57:48.000 What the fuck?
01:57:49.000 He likes doing his work and then taking breaks, man.
01:57:53.000 The guy goes on more vacations than anybody I know.
01:57:55.000 Yeah, I'm in Hawaii, bro.
01:57:57.000 But he's got a casual style of comedy.
01:57:59.000 I think it's probably good for him.
01:58:01.000 Again, for him, again, back to your, if you're gonna write about comics, if you wrote Theo's process, I don't know how many people are gonna be able to relate to it.
01:58:09.000 But for Theo, for Theo, there's no, dude, when him and Chris are going, dude, there's, I sit back.
01:58:17.000 Go to work, boys.
01:58:19.000 They're so fucking funny, man.
01:58:22.000 I'm the best job in the world.
01:58:23.000 Theo has one of the most unique senses of humor I've ever encountered.
01:58:26.000 But if you could get his process down, and if someone could talk about him from the beginning, the open mic days, to really developing new material, to who he is now, if someone could break that down like that, that'd be very valuable just to see his process.
01:58:40.000 For everybody.
01:58:41.000 His execution.
01:58:43.000 Yeah.
01:58:43.000 It's like, good luck with that execution.
01:58:45.000 That's Theo Vaughn.
01:58:46.000 There's one Theo Vaughn.
01:58:47.000 There's one Theo Vaughn.
01:58:48.000 And his way of thinking.
01:58:49.000 He'll say stuff when we're on the phone.
01:58:51.000 Talk about business decisions.
01:58:53.000 He'll say stuff where you're like, what?
01:58:55.000 He can't help himself.
01:58:57.000 I just friend Toby, man.
01:58:58.000 You're like, no, no, no.
01:58:59.000 I don't give a fuck about Toby.
01:59:00.000 He got bit by a frog.
01:59:03.000 He got bit by a frog.
01:59:04.000 He turned gay, man.
01:59:05.000 He turned gay.
01:59:05.000 So my thing is...
01:59:07.000 Stay away from the frogs.
01:59:08.000 Alex Jones says them frogs is gay.
01:59:10.000 I'm talking about taxes right now.
01:59:12.000 He's so fucking unique.
01:59:15.000 He's the best.
01:59:16.000 I remember the first time I saw him really kill at the Comedy Store.
01:59:19.000 I'd seen him around, and maybe I hadn't seen a full set, but I'd seen a few jokes, but I've been friendly with him.
01:59:24.000 And then one day I was in the back of the room, and he was just murdering.
01:59:29.000 He was so comfortable on stage.
01:59:31.000 He was so relaxed.
01:59:32.000 He was himself.
01:59:33.000 He was himself.
01:59:34.000 Because remember, people forget Theo came off Road Rules.
01:59:38.000 That's where people knew Theo from Road Rules doing MTV and all that shit.
01:59:42.000 So he had that stigma on him.
01:59:44.000 So Theo came out of that shell.
01:59:47.000 Maybe it was David Spade.
01:59:48.000 I forget.
01:59:48.000 Him and David are really close.
01:59:50.000 And David was like, Theo took off once he started being himself on stage.
01:59:56.000 Because in person, he's the funniest fucking person.
01:59:58.000 Most unique person.
01:59:59.000 He's a fucking alien with a mullet, dude, and a big ass.
02:00:02.000 Like, he's so fucking funny.
02:00:04.000 But that wasn't correlating on stage.
02:00:06.000 Well, it wasn't developed yet.
02:00:08.000 It's like, you know, you start off as a white belt.
02:00:10.000 It's just what it is.
02:00:12.000 You know, he just hadn't figured it out yet.
02:00:14.000 Dude, he was doing jiu-jitsu.
02:00:18.000 He is?
02:00:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:00:20.000 I think he had Chandler's gym in Nashville.
02:00:22.000 Shout out to Chandler.
02:00:23.000 And he'll call me and be like, man, this fucking...
02:00:25.000 He just can't help me.
02:00:26.000 He's just so funny.
02:00:26.000 He'll be like, man, this fucking big bitch fucking Sherry, man, fucking tweaked my arm, dude.
02:00:30.000 I don't know if I'm going back.
02:00:32.000 Yeah.
02:00:33.000 I don't know if I'm going back.
02:00:35.000 He goes, I don't know if I'm going back, man.
02:00:36.000 I'm going to rest on a few days.
02:00:37.000 Think about it.
02:00:38.000 And you're just like, but he's dead serious.
02:00:40.000 Some woman arm part of him.
02:00:43.000 Bro, women who are really good, they love fucking dudes up.
02:00:46.000 Oh, my God.
02:00:47.000 It's their favorite, man.
02:00:48.000 Oh, my God.
02:00:49.000 They love fucking dudes up.
02:00:50.000 Dude, but yeah, fuck it.
02:00:51.000 He can't help it, man.
02:00:53.000 And they'll be like, I'm a fucking two-stripe white belt, man.
02:00:55.000 Give him this hard scarf.
02:00:56.000 Fucking hard scarf.
02:00:59.000 He's so fucking funny.
02:01:00.000 He's a perfect example of how there's no blueprint to follow for comedy.
02:01:06.000 It's not possible.
02:01:07.000 No.
02:01:08.000 Everybody's different, man.
02:01:09.000 Especially that guy.
02:01:11.000 There's no way.
02:01:12.000 But I get a lot of advice from Theo, too, because remember, he had that stigma on him.
02:01:16.000 They came from the real world, and he wasn't a comic, and he was this hack.
02:01:20.000 So same thing, coming from the UFC, it takes a while, man.
02:01:24.000 It takes a while, but the thing is, if you're coming straight from the UFC, or straight from a reality show, you're an open-miker with too much attention.
02:01:33.000 Correct.
02:01:34.000 And you really are an open-miker.
02:01:36.000 100%.
02:01:36.000 The boldest motherfucker that ever lived is Charlie Murphy.
02:01:40.000 Because Charlie Murphy was doing headline sets right after he got into comedy.
02:01:45.000 Also with you.
02:01:46.000 Well, he did those.
02:01:47.000 A few years later, though, but still.
02:01:49.000 That was a couple years in.
02:01:50.000 Still.
02:01:50.000 But still.
02:01:51.000 Beastie.
02:01:52.000 Bold.
02:01:53.000 Very bold.
02:01:54.000 Dude, think about having a fucking Showtime special when you're two years in, dude.
02:01:57.000 Yeah.
02:01:58.000 It's nuts.
02:01:59.000 Yeah, very bold.
02:02:00.000 It's big balls, dude.
02:02:01.000 At least Charlie didn't film his shit.
02:02:03.000 Yeah.
02:02:03.000 True.
02:02:05.000 But he- Some say I have bigger balls.
02:02:07.000 He had this opportunity, and there's only one way to do it.
02:02:12.000 You've got to learn on the job.
02:02:14.000 There's no other way to do it.
02:02:15.000 There's no other way.
02:02:16.000 You gotta learn on stage, man.
02:02:18.000 You need a lot of dick.
02:02:19.000 But the problem is, you can't do that in a large crowd.
02:02:22.000 You don't learn in a large crowd.
02:02:24.000 No.
02:02:24.000 Large crowds are not intimate.
02:02:26.000 They're not forgiving.
02:02:27.000 Like, did you see that TI thing in Brooklyn?
02:02:32.000 T.I. did stand-up and he was bombing?
02:02:35.000 You know, he's bombed a bunch.
02:02:37.000 I've only seen him bomb once.
02:02:39.000 I was looking at the crowd.
02:02:40.000 It was too many people.
02:02:41.000 I'm like, bro.
02:02:42.000 And he'll say, who am I to tell anybody not to do stand-up?
02:02:48.000 I don't give a fuck, dude.
02:02:49.000 I'm not going to judge that guy.
02:02:50.000 Look at me.
02:02:51.000 I don't judge anybody.
02:02:52.000 I hate nobody.
02:02:52.000 I don't give a fuck.
02:02:53.000 Do whatever you want to do, dude.
02:02:55.000 But with him, you know, David Lucas knows him, and David did a roast with him, lit him the fuck up.
02:03:01.000 So him and David attacks.
02:03:02.000 I said, you know what would go a long way for him?
02:03:05.000 And I said, and this comes from a guy like me, and I'm not T.I. T.I. goes, I'm not a comedian, I'm a superstar.
02:03:11.000 Ditch that.
02:03:12.000 What you should do, and I even told Emily this at the store.
02:03:15.000 You gotta humble yourself.
02:03:17.000 I told Emily, I said, I know I'm headlining, selling out shows, I go, I'll work the fucking potluck, Emily.
02:03:22.000 I'll come there, I'll work the door.
02:03:24.000 I don't give a fuck what it takes for you to give me stage time at OR. I don't give a fuck, man.
02:03:29.000 I'll do the trash, whatever you want, man.
02:03:32.000 Whatever it takes, you let me know.
02:03:33.000 Let me know.
02:03:34.000 I'll do it.
02:03:35.000 I'll fucking scrub the floors for five minutes in the fucking OR at Potluck.
02:03:39.000 I don't care.
02:03:40.000 You gotta humble yourself.
02:03:41.000 If you're coming into it with already a built-in kind of fan base, and for him it's like, obviously he's a massive star, has some hits, right?
02:03:50.000 Back in the day, had some hits.
02:03:52.000 But then he's coming in and Not only is he coming in like the laugh factor in a comedy store, which is a whole other issue, but he's coming in there and he's bumping guys and running the light.
02:04:02.000 So I think for him, he doesn't have anybody in his crew that knows comedy.
02:04:05.000 If someone would come and go, hey dude, it's fine, you're playing here, don't run the light, dude.
02:04:10.000 So he just shows up and goes on stage?
02:04:11.000 Mm-hmm.
02:04:12.000 They live on stage.
02:04:13.000 And then I'll do like 30 minutes.
02:04:16.000 But again, do you, man.
02:04:18.000 It takes a lot of balls to do it.
02:04:19.000 All the respect to you.
02:04:20.000 But don't run the light.
02:04:21.000 Because here's the thing.
02:04:22.000 When you run the light, that other comic, you're taking away from his time.
02:04:26.000 Or the crowd gets tired.
02:04:27.000 Or you ate shit.
02:04:28.000 If he's bumping the show, he's probably just doing whatever he wants anyway.
02:04:33.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:04:34.000 So it's like someone, you know, obviously his security guards and all of them don't know how comedy works.
02:04:40.000 I told David, just let him know, like, these are the inside baseball rules, where we're not going to hate him as much.
02:04:46.000 Just let him know the rules.
02:04:47.000 And then if he knows the rules and still does it, then he's just an asshole.
02:04:51.000 But I don't think he knows the rules.
02:04:53.000 And that's an issue.
02:04:54.000 Well, he probably doesn't think the rules apply because he's a famous person.
02:04:59.000 Oh, they do, Bubba.
02:05:01.000 Trust me, they do.
02:05:02.000 Well, if you want to do it right, they should.
02:05:04.000 If you want to learn, you know, jujitsu, you've got to start as a white belt.
02:05:07.000 Don't think because you're famous, all of a sudden you're going to be a purple belt.
02:05:10.000 No, you're going to do a white belt in the gi.
02:05:11.000 You're going to be able to step into sparring class and do well.
02:05:15.000 You're not going to do well.
02:05:16.000 What are you talking about?
02:05:17.000 It's not that much different than going on stage and trying to do jokes when you're kind of just starting out.
02:05:22.000 Agree.
02:05:25.000 Despite your success in another discipline, you have to treat it like you're a beginner, because you are.
02:05:32.000 And the only way the other people that are doing it are going to respect you is if you do treat it like you're a beginner.
02:05:37.000 And put the work in.
02:05:38.000 That's how you get the respect from your peers.
02:05:40.000 You've got to put the work in, man.
02:05:42.000 Because when they see you just going up in these big shows, they're like, get the fuck out of here, man.
02:05:47.000 Yeah.
02:05:48.000 Well, doesn't Blake Griffin do stand-up and isn't he good?
02:05:52.000 You know, I wouldn't say he does.
02:05:53.000 Barely talks about it.
02:05:55.000 Yeah.
02:05:55.000 You see what I'm saying?
02:05:56.000 Yeah.
02:05:56.000 He'll do the roast stuff like that.
02:05:58.000 I heard he's fucking funny.
02:05:59.000 He's funny, dude.
02:06:01.000 Me and you were with him at the improv when he's getting ready to do the roast.
02:06:04.000 He'll do the roast.
02:06:05.000 He's a funny guy.
02:06:06.000 He also has, whatever, $600 million in the bank and all these properties.
02:06:09.000 So, you know, I don't think he's running sets at the ha-ha.
02:06:12.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:06:13.000 Like, he's just doing his thing.
02:06:14.000 But the point is he's low-key about it.
02:06:17.000 Yeah.
02:06:17.000 He's not bumping people.
02:06:18.000 He'll take what he can get.
02:06:19.000 He's a humble guy.
02:06:21.000 I mean, you don't have to, but there's so many clubs.
02:06:23.000 All you have to do is make a phone call and set up your own show.
02:06:27.000 You want to run an hour or whatever you want to do, set up your own show.
02:06:30.000 It's not hard.
02:06:31.000 There's a lot of clubs.
02:06:32.000 A ton of clubs.
02:06:33.000 Just so many clubs.
02:06:33.000 And they want butts in seats, man.
02:06:36.000 And that's really the best way to do it anyway.
02:06:39.000 The best way to do it anyway is, like, have all the time in the world, you know?
02:06:44.000 Have some subjects you want to cover.
02:06:46.000 If these people are willing to go along with you in this process of you learning how to do stand-up, you can do that.
02:06:53.000 They'll all come to see you.
02:06:54.000 Correct.
02:06:54.000 Do it that way.
02:06:55.000 And they'll watch you grow and mature.
02:06:56.000 Yeah, do it that way.
02:06:57.000 Yep.
02:06:58.000 But those giant shows?
02:07:00.000 Giant shows that they're not there for you?
02:07:02.000 Like, I think he was doing like a fucking rap concert and got up there.
02:07:05.000 It's like, bro.
02:07:05.000 Is that what it was?
02:07:06.000 It was some bullshit.
02:07:07.000 I don't know what it was.
02:07:08.000 I thought it was a big comedy show.
02:07:09.000 I don't know.
02:07:10.000 I know he did one that was very suspect.
02:07:12.000 I'm like, dude, again, the team around, he's like, hey, man, these aren't good parameters for stand-up comedy.
02:07:17.000 Yeah, but could you imagine telling an artist...
02:07:20.000 Fucking DaBaby was on before you, man.
02:07:21.000 I don't know what it was, really?
02:07:22.000 I don't know.
02:07:23.000 It's bullshit.
02:07:25.000 Imagine telling those artists what they can and can't do.
02:07:28.000 I mean, they're successful in a crazy business, you know?
02:07:30.000 In comedy, I can.
02:07:31.000 Yeah, in comedy.
02:07:32.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:07:32.000 Like, hold on, hold on.
02:07:34.000 You know, whatever comedy...
02:07:37.000 You know Bill Burr's on at 10, motherfucker.
02:07:39.000 Right.
02:07:40.000 And it's 940. Right.
02:07:42.000 You better be off by fucking 10. Right.
02:07:44.000 Right.
02:07:45.000 Because you bump him?
02:07:46.000 Dude, what are you doing?
02:07:48.000 Well, that's a thing that guys used to do back in the day.
02:07:51.000 I know.
02:07:51.000 It was who could bump who.
02:07:53.000 Such a flex.
02:07:54.000 Guys would enjoy bumping people.
02:07:56.000 And they would show up and try to go on right before.
02:08:01.000 Someone had a girl with them, like, you're going to see me, baby.
02:08:04.000 My name's on the marquee.
02:08:05.000 And they would bump right in front of them and go in front of them and do a long set.
02:08:10.000 I got bumped at the comedy store in the belly room.
02:08:14.000 They wouldn't tell me who.
02:08:16.000 And then me and Jim Gafkin were DMing each other back and forth.
02:08:23.000 I love Jim.
02:08:24.000 He's the nice guy ever.
02:08:25.000 And then I'm like, they're like, K, do you mind?
02:08:27.000 We know you're supposed to go on at 10. Can you do 10.30 now?
02:08:30.000 I'm like, yeah, I don't give a fuck.
02:08:31.000 Whatever you want.
02:08:31.000 Literally, we'll do whatever they want at the comedy store.
02:08:33.000 I have no business being there.
02:08:35.000 And then I'm standing there just watching.
02:08:37.000 I feel a large presence over my shoulder here.
02:08:40.000 Hello, Instagram friend.
02:08:43.000 And I turn around, it's fucking Jim Gaffigan.
02:08:44.000 Oh, I got a bump for you.
02:08:46.000 He goes, yeah.
02:08:48.000 He goes up and crushes.
02:08:50.000 He's so funny.
02:08:51.000 He's very funny.
02:08:52.000 That's hilarious.
02:08:53.000 Hello, Instagram friend.
02:08:53.000 Hello, Instagram friend.
02:08:55.000 That's very funny.
02:08:56.000 You bump each other?
02:08:57.000 He goes, yeah.
02:08:57.000 Well, I mean, yeah, do whatever the fuck you want, man.
02:09:01.000 Yeah.
02:09:02.000 Well, he deserves a certain position in comedy.
02:09:06.000 But all those people that bump and don't deserve it, they haven't earned that.
02:09:11.000 It's a tricky thing among comics.
02:09:13.000 I never did it.
02:09:14.000 I'm not a bumper.
02:09:16.000 I would just call in.
02:09:17.000 Nor should you be.
02:09:18.000 Yeah, you shouldn't be a bumper.
02:09:19.000 But even at the highest level, you're talking about now how you've never done it.
02:09:23.000 Kevin Hart doesn't really bump.
02:09:24.000 Kevin Hart doesn't do it, but even at the highest level, Dave Chappelle, my first time ever headlining at the Comedy Store, I couldn't figure out why they asked me to headline at the Belly Room.
02:09:33.000 I'm like, really?
02:09:34.000 I'm only two years, what?
02:09:35.000 And Emily goes, yeah, if you want to do Belly Room Wednesday night, 8 p.m., I'm like, Yeah, say less.
02:09:40.000 Fuck yeah, I'll do it.
02:09:41.000 So I'm all excited.
02:09:42.000 I get down there.
02:09:43.000 The whole time, I'm like, I wonder why they're asking me to do it.
02:09:45.000 There's so many comics.
02:09:47.000 Well, at the time, it was game six of the World Series of the Dodgers.
02:09:52.000 So there's nobody around, dude.
02:09:54.000 And so I'm back there, and there's like, I don't know, fucking seven tickets sold.
02:09:58.000 I felt like I was such a loser.
02:10:00.000 And I'm in the back and Dave Chappelle walks in.
02:10:02.000 And Dave walks in and goes, hey man, you mind if I go on?
02:10:07.000 I was like, what?
02:10:08.000 He goes, you mind if I go on?
02:10:09.000 I go, whatever you want to do, man.
02:10:11.000 And he was getting ready for something special at the time.
02:10:14.000 So seven people?
02:10:16.000 No shit, Joe.
02:10:17.000 Not even exactly.
02:10:18.000 Let's say 14. It's the game six of the World Series, and the Dodgers are in it.
02:10:23.000 Nobody's around.
02:10:24.000 Dave goes up there, and I go, whatever you want to do, man.
02:10:27.000 Do you mind if I go first, though?
02:10:29.000 He goes, whatever, man, whatever.
02:10:31.000 So I go up, you know, do my thing, and then he goes up.
02:10:34.000 He does an hour, I don't know, hour and a half for these 14 people.
02:10:38.000 Wow.
02:10:39.000 Annihilated!
02:10:40.000 Like it was Mass Square Garden.
02:10:41.000 Annihilated!
02:10:43.000 14 people?
02:10:44.000 14 people.
02:10:45.000 That's amazing.
02:10:46.000 And then comes back and I talked to him, I don't know, probably 45 minutes just me and him.
02:10:51.000 But what bummed me out, it's not his fault, but he wanted to talk about fighting.
02:10:56.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:58.000 Well, he probably wanted to relate to you.
02:11:00.000 Yeah, and I wanted to talk to him about comedy, so it's triggering for both, right?
02:11:06.000 It's because he's probably like, dude, I don't want to talk about it.
02:11:08.000 All anybody talks about is comedy.
02:11:09.000 I'd like to talk about fighting.
02:11:10.000 All I want to talk about is comedy.
02:11:12.000 He wants to talk about fighting.
02:11:13.000 So we have this back and forth.
02:11:14.000 And he was vaping.
02:11:15.000 He goes, my doctor said these are actually better for you.
02:11:19.000 They're not.
02:11:21.000 How do you know?
02:11:22.000 Fucking Google it, dude.
02:11:23.000 They're not.
02:11:24.000 He goes, really?
02:11:24.000 No, he fucking threw in the trash.
02:11:26.000 Really?
02:11:27.000 Yeah.
02:11:28.000 He was great, though, man.
02:11:29.000 He was so nice to me, man.
02:11:31.000 He's a great guy.
02:11:32.000 He goes so long, dude.
02:11:32.000 Dave's a sweetheart of a guy.
02:11:34.000 He's just a real artist.
02:11:37.000 He listens to the same Nina Simone song.
02:11:40.000 He listened to the same Nina Simone song.
02:11:43.000 Six, seven times in a row once before we did a show at Stubbs in Austin.
02:11:48.000 He just kept playing it on YouTube.
02:11:51.000 And so he had like the video of Nina Simone singing it, and he would play it just over the Bluetooth speaker sometimes.
02:11:58.000 He just like this one song he became obsessed with.
02:12:02.000 And it was having these shows with him.
02:12:04.000 It's like seeing what he is.
02:12:06.000 He's an artist.
02:12:06.000 You know, this is his canvas.
02:12:09.000 His canvas is talking shit.
02:12:12.000 One of the best to ever do it, man.
02:12:13.000 100%.
02:12:14.000 For me, there's like these milestones.
02:12:15.000 Like that, you know, 14 people, I'm bummed the fuck out, and then Chappelle rolls in.
02:12:19.000 You know, it's like, you know, you're getting a fucking master's in, you know, stand-up watching from this guy, and you're watching.
02:12:24.000 He's giving you tips and stuff like that, even though I had to give him some fight information.
02:12:28.000 I think at the time, I had to break down Conor versus fucking Eddie Alvarez or some shit.
02:12:32.000 Dude, I gotta pee so bad.
02:12:33.000 Really?
02:12:34.000 Yeah.
02:12:34.000 I outlasted you on the piss game?
02:12:35.000 I drank too much water this morning.
02:12:37.000 This is a first, brother.
02:12:38.000 First.
02:12:39.000 We're gonna come back.
02:12:40.000 We'll be right back.
02:12:40.000 And we're back.
02:12:42.000 That's a first, dude.
02:12:44.000 Yeah.
02:12:45.000 I tap out every now and then.
02:12:47.000 The thing is, man, if I work out or if I get in the sauna in particular, I tend to overdrink after the sauna.
02:12:54.000 It's a real problem.
02:12:55.000 Really?
02:12:55.000 Oh, like water.
02:12:56.000 Yeah.
02:12:57.000 Yeah.
02:12:57.000 I don't mean alcohol.
02:12:58.000 Imagine.
02:12:59.000 Yeah.
02:12:59.000 Yeah, I can.
02:13:00.000 No, but after the sauna, you know, you fucking sweat your ass off for 25 minutes and you want to drink as much water as possible.
02:13:07.000 But then it's like an hour and a half after that.
02:13:10.000 Since I got into stand-up, dude, I just drink these days.
02:13:13.000 Yeah?
02:13:14.000 Yeah, I love it.
02:13:14.000 Only drinking.
02:13:15.000 But you look thin.
02:13:16.000 Yeah, dude, yeah.
02:13:17.000 Keep your body optimized.
02:13:19.000 Oh, dude, I'm at the best shape I've been in I don't know how long.
02:13:22.000 Like, even if you watch the special, which dropped today, hashtag the gringo poppy on YouTube, Thickboy YouTube.
02:13:28.000 The gringo poppy.
02:13:29.000 The gringo poppy.
02:13:30.000 I just light my Latin family up for 30 minutes.
02:13:33.000 Oh, boy.
02:13:33.000 Yeah.
02:13:34.000 My girl saw it, though.
02:13:34.000 She's fine with it.
02:13:35.000 But if you watch that special, I was not on Carnivore.
02:13:40.000 Oh.
02:13:41.000 And I'm the definition of thick.
02:13:43.000 I hate this part.
02:13:46.000 You know this.
02:13:46.000 You're the same.
02:13:47.000 You've got to go through the edits and cut this.
02:13:49.000 And I'm like, fuck, dude.
02:13:51.000 How did I not go on a diet for this fucking special?
02:13:54.000 What was I thinking?
02:13:55.000 You don't see yourself the way other people see you.
02:13:57.000 Yeah.
02:13:58.000 And then I see, I'm like, oh my God.
02:13:59.000 But then it's like, all right, well, at least I was thick.
02:14:01.000 My brand's thick, boy.
02:14:02.000 So I keep getting skinny.
02:14:04.000 I'm fucked, dude.
02:14:05.000 There's a fine line.
02:14:06.000 Right.
02:14:07.000 I do those.
02:14:07.000 But also what got me into carnivore was talking to you doing it and how great you felt.
02:14:13.000 I'm like, really?
02:14:14.000 And I, you know, I'm always down for something.
02:14:15.000 I've done every, you name it, I've done it.
02:14:17.000 Vegan, keto, you've always done it.
02:14:19.000 But I started doing those tough mutters.
02:14:22.000 And I was like, if I'm going to run a 15K marathon with all this shit, I need to lose some weight.
02:14:27.000 So I started doing carnivore.
02:14:28.000 I dropped a bunch of weight.
02:14:29.000 And I figured once I get done with the Tough Mudder, I'll just eat all the carbs and fuck the diet.
02:14:35.000 I felt so good.
02:14:36.000 I got done with the Tough Mudder and was like...
02:14:38.000 I'm just going to keep going.
02:14:40.000 Let's see how long I can go.
02:14:41.000 And then, you know, here we are.
02:14:43.000 And then I've done two Tough Mudders since then.
02:14:45.000 They call them Thick Mudders now.
02:14:47.000 People sign up, do the Thick Mudders with me.
02:14:48.000 It's me and all these fucking Thickies.
02:14:51.000 Some people, dude, some people will get there.
02:14:53.000 I'm like, really?
02:14:54.000 Really?
02:14:55.000 You think you're going to do this?
02:14:56.000 And they do.
02:14:57.000 Really?
02:14:57.000 Mitch Rohn did the last one with me.
02:14:59.000 Did he really?
02:14:59.000 Dude.
02:15:00.000 So I flew in for the fight campaign.
02:15:03.000 And he goes, you're doing a Tough Mudder tomorrow?
02:15:04.000 I go, yeah, man.
02:15:05.000 It's the Thick Mudder.
02:15:06.000 If you want to sign up, let me know.
02:15:07.000 I go, you know, I'm leaving at 9 if you want to ride.
02:15:09.000 He goes, fuck out, dude.
02:15:11.000 This will be fun.
02:15:12.000 I go, right, right.
02:15:13.000 You know it's 15K, though, dude.
02:15:14.000 So it's like right around 9 miles.
02:15:17.000 But it's like obstacles and shit.
02:15:18.000 I'm like, yeah, it's like mud.
02:15:19.000 You get electrocuted.
02:15:20.000 You get climb shit.
02:15:20.000 Like, it's pretty tough, man.
02:15:22.000 He goes, no, I'll do it with you.
02:15:23.000 I go, yeah, sure.
02:15:24.000 Have you been running, though?
02:15:25.000 He goes, oh, fuck, dude.
02:15:27.000 I haven't ran in, like, eight years.
02:15:29.000 Right, right.
02:15:31.000 It's going to be tough, dude.
02:15:32.000 He goes, no, it'll be fun.
02:15:33.000 I go, yeah, it'll be fun.
02:15:35.000 We start going.
02:15:36.000 Dude, shout out to Mitchell for even trying it.
02:15:39.000 But 30 minutes?
02:15:41.000 And then I turn around.
02:15:43.000 I'm like, where the fuck's Matt?
02:15:44.000 And some of the guys running with me in the thick mud are like, oh, he told me to tell you that.
02:15:48.000 He'll see you at the finish line.
02:15:50.000 And he's like, dude, I just can't.
02:15:51.000 My legs were given out.
02:15:52.000 You can't do a fucking nine-mile Tough Mudder if you don't work out at all.
02:15:58.000 Yeah.
02:15:58.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
02:15:59.000 They're so fun, man.
02:16:00.000 Yeah?
02:16:00.000 Oh, they're fun.
02:16:01.000 Now, when you do that, how long does it take to do nine miles?
02:16:06.000 With the courses and everything, dude.
02:16:08.000 The electrocution sucks.
02:16:10.000 I know Tough Mudder likes it, but I fucking hate it.
02:16:13.000 Why do they like it?
02:16:14.000 I don't know.
02:16:15.000 I guess it's good for Instagram, social media, but I fucking...
02:16:20.000 Tough Mudder, I can't explain this enough.
02:16:22.000 I hate it, dude.
02:16:24.000 And when do you get electrocuted?
02:16:26.000 There's different parts.
02:16:27.000 So there's one part where you're running and then you stop for the fucking obstacle course and then it's just a fucking dugout hole of mud water and then hanging up above you is like tentacles, like wires.
02:16:40.000 If you touch them, you get electrocuted.
02:16:42.000 So you gotta be smart and navigate your way through it.
02:16:45.000 What?
02:16:46.000 Let me see this.
02:16:48.000 That's it?
02:16:48.000 Those are electrocutors?
02:16:49.000 Yes.
02:16:50.000 They hurt so bad.
02:16:51.000 Oh my god, that dude just dove through.
02:16:53.000 Yeah, that dude is me.
02:16:55.000 Oh, look at you.
02:16:55.000 I can't even tell your face.
02:16:57.000 You're also covered in mud.
02:16:58.000 I can't even recognize you.
02:17:00.000 That's hilarious.
02:17:01.000 Bro.
02:17:02.000 Bro.
02:17:03.000 I blew off both hamstrings.
02:17:05.000 Oh no, did you really?
02:17:06.000 Yeah, Chappelle did it.
02:17:08.000 Chappelle, my brother, did it and they finish in five hours.
02:17:11.000 Which is dead last.
02:17:13.000 But they finished, is the point.
02:17:15.000 They finished.
02:17:15.000 Five hours.
02:17:16.000 So now, because people want to run them with me, I think the next one's in July or August in Chicago.
02:17:21.000 That we just saw, show that again, what we just saw, going up that ramp.
02:17:26.000 Oh, where you gotta jump?
02:17:27.000 Yeah.
02:17:28.000 That is fucking dangerous.
02:17:31.000 Gnarly.
02:17:31.000 Oh, some dude blew his kneecap, shattered his kneecap doing that.
02:17:34.000 Yeah.
02:17:35.000 It's so fun, though, dude.
02:17:36.000 I'm telling you, it's more about...
02:17:38.000 It's not like, you know, you don't have to be fucking...
02:17:40.000 I tell people this all the time.
02:17:41.000 You don't have to be Lance Armstrong and do this.
02:17:42.000 It's more about, like, doing it together.
02:17:44.000 It's a team thing.
02:17:45.000 It's not about...
02:17:45.000 Why don't you guys just fuck?
02:17:47.000 Just get together and fuck.
02:17:48.000 All the guys?
02:17:48.000 I'd be down for that.
02:17:49.000 In the mud?
02:17:50.000 Doesn't that seem like what's happening here?
02:17:51.000 Let's kill each other and get eaten by vultures.
02:17:54.000 It's like the ultimate bro bonding.
02:17:56.000 Oh, dude, that's tear gas.
02:17:57.000 This one's tear gas.
02:17:58.000 You gotta go through it, hold your breath and eyes, and rush through with tear gas.
02:18:01.000 How long before women infiltrate your organization and start entering into these games?
02:18:08.000 Women have done it.
02:18:09.000 How many girls?
02:18:10.000 Maybe five, but some of the girls are badasses, dude.
02:18:13.000 That's amazing.
02:18:15.000 This stuff, I crushed.
02:18:17.000 The way you gotta climb and stuff, you know, I have good grip.
02:18:19.000 But the electrical shit, that's Mark Harley.
02:18:22.000 He ate shit on that.
02:18:24.000 That's freezing cold water.
02:18:26.000 It's so fun though, dude.
02:18:27.000 So who organizes this?
02:18:28.000 Who puts it together?
02:18:29.000 The first one I did...
02:18:32.000 Who builds the fucking holes and fills them with water?
02:18:34.000 Tough Mudder.
02:18:34.000 Tough Mudder does it all.
02:18:35.000 They do them all over the world, dude.
02:18:38.000 So you had a conversation with them and said, I'd like to do one?
02:18:40.000 No, not at all.
02:18:42.000 I've always wanted to do it since...
02:18:43.000 My goal is to do an Ironman.
02:18:45.000 All this starts with, I want to do an Ironman.
02:18:47.000 Yeah?
02:18:48.000 Yeah.
02:18:48.000 Dr. Felder.
02:18:49.000 Yeah, I know.
02:18:50.000 You see what he's doing?
02:18:51.000 Yeah, he's a monster.
02:18:53.000 That motherfucker, he's like changed his body.
02:18:55.000 Yep.
02:18:56.000 I love him.
02:18:56.000 So I just signed up for one, and then I asked my crew who wants to do it.
02:19:01.000 And, you know, Mark Harley and some other guys want to do it.
02:19:04.000 And then I'm there, and I'm taking pictures with everybody.
02:19:06.000 Like, I'm trying to get the finish line.
02:19:08.000 I'm just bombarding pictures, which is a good thing.
02:19:11.000 And then somebody from the Tough Mudder was like, hey, who are you?
02:19:14.000 And I'm like, you know, I do stand-up, and I used to fight, and blah, blah, blah.
02:19:18.000 Like, oh, cool.
02:19:19.000 And then I was like, hey, I'm going to do another one, because after I got done, I'm like, this is one of my best things I've ever done.
02:19:25.000 I was like, it'd be cool to have, like, my fans run with me.
02:19:28.000 I'll announce on the show, and we'll call it The Thick Mudder.
02:19:30.000 I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
02:19:31.000 And then now we're just doing Thick Mudders.
02:19:33.000 So when it's a Thick Mudder, it's only your fans that enter?
02:19:37.000 So how many people are allowed to enter?
02:19:39.000 It's unlimited, but last time 500 people ran with me.
02:19:42.000 Oh, that's crazy.
02:19:44.000 Yeah.
02:19:44.000 That's crazy.
02:19:45.000 Crazy.
02:19:46.000 But the different heats.
02:19:46.000 That's a lot of people.
02:19:47.000 And then there's 15K and 5K. So who won it?
02:19:50.000 There's no winning.
02:19:51.000 Who got it the fastest?
02:19:53.000 There's some pros there.
02:19:54.000 I don't know.
02:19:55.000 There's some pros that...
02:19:56.000 So you just do it?
02:19:57.000 We just do it.
02:19:57.000 It's such a good time.
02:19:58.000 So it's like a participation trophy.
02:19:59.000 Yes.
02:20:01.000 Just finishing is the win.
02:20:03.000 Just getting finished and being electrocuted is the win.
02:20:05.000 Yeah, it's so much fun, dude.
02:20:07.000 I fucking love them, man.
02:20:09.000 And they do them in Austin, San Antonio, Chicago, fucking all over, dude.
02:20:14.000 Wow.
02:20:14.000 There's 24-hour ones.
02:20:16.000 24-hour?
02:20:17.000 That's not for me.
02:20:18.000 So you can run them all throughout the night?
02:20:21.000 Yeah, it's called the World's Toughest Mudder.
02:20:22.000 Look at this shit.
02:20:23.000 24-hour obstacle course.
02:20:24.000 World's Toughest Mudder.
02:20:26.000 Jesus Christ.
02:20:28.000 24 hours?
02:20:29.000 How many people lose use of their legs at the end of this?
02:20:32.000 I'd say all of them.
02:20:33.000 I feel like Cam Haynes would dominate this.
02:20:36.000 But my goal is to do adventure in Ironman.
02:20:39.000 That's why there's so many levels to this thing.
02:20:41.000 Oh my god.
02:20:42.000 They're talking, you know, they do the Moab 240. That's 238 miles.
02:20:49.000 That's like one of the longest ones.
02:20:51.000 I'm too big for that.
02:20:52.000 They're trying to think of doing a 500 mile one.
02:20:55.000 Yeah, dude, it's just too much.
02:20:57.000 I'm not into that.
02:20:57.000 This is a good time.
02:20:58.000 After three hours, even if you go slow, three hours, good time.
02:21:01.000 Three hours is a long fucking time, man.
02:21:03.000 It's a long time, dude.
02:21:04.000 It's a long time.
02:21:05.000 I'll tell you where I fucked up.
02:21:06.000 This is where I fucked up.
02:21:07.000 I did it in Lake Elsinore, which is, like, right outside Temeculia.
02:21:10.000 So I did it there, and then that night I was gonna do pop-up shows and surprise the fans for Chris D'Elia's show in the Laugh Factory San Diego.
02:21:19.000 So I do that Tough Mudder, and I was like, I'll be fine.
02:21:21.000 And I'm exhausted.
02:21:23.000 Dude, I drive to L.A., and my brother goes, you want me to drive?
02:21:28.000 No, I'm good.
02:21:28.000 I'm falling asleep at the wheel.
02:21:30.000 Finally, I wake up.
02:21:30.000 I have all this caffeine.
02:21:31.000 I get to the shows, and Chris goes, you look like shit.
02:21:34.000 He goes, you sure you're good?
02:21:35.000 I'm like, I'm good, dude.
02:21:36.000 I'm good.
02:21:37.000 Dude, you can't do it.
02:21:39.000 You can't do it.
02:21:40.000 You can't do a Tough Mudder.
02:21:42.000 Thank God I only did, whatever, 20 minutes.
02:21:44.000 If it was like two two-hour shows and meet and greets, your boy would have been fucked.
02:21:49.000 Yeah, you only have so much energy in your body.
02:21:51.000 You know what I think about all the time when I do meet and greets is when you used to do meet and greets with everybody after your giant theaters and just sit there for hours meeting people.
02:22:04.000 Yep.
02:22:05.000 I think that all the time, whenever, you know, I'll do, what happened at 200 meet and greets?
02:22:09.000 And I go through 200 and I get another show, and I'm feeling sorry for myself.
02:22:13.000 I'm like, oh my God, because it's a lot of energy.
02:22:16.000 It's good, but it's a lot of energy.
02:22:17.000 Every time, I'm like, fucking Joey used to do this for free.
02:22:21.000 And just fucking hours after the show, dude.
02:22:24.000 Yep.
02:22:25.000 Gangster.
02:22:25.000 Yeah, it just got too weird after a while.
02:22:28.000 It reached a threshold of fame that was unmanageable.
02:22:36.000 So you can't just meet everybody.
02:22:38.000 Can you imagine doing it now?
02:22:39.000 No, that's the problem.
02:22:41.000 And there was a point where I knew I had to stop doing it.
02:22:43.000 When did you know?
02:22:44.000 What was it?
02:22:45.000 Just the engagement with the fans?
02:22:47.000 It was too much.
02:22:48.000 It got a little too frantic, a little too crazy.
02:22:50.000 Crazy.
02:22:51.000 Yeah.
02:22:52.000 You know, we weren't doing it with security.
02:22:53.000 We were just using the local security at the venue.
02:22:57.000 And they're dicey.
02:22:58.000 Oftentimes they weren't paying attention at all.
02:23:00.000 Dude, I had a set in Kentucky, and these two guys in the front row.
02:23:04.000 Head to toe, thick boy gear.
02:23:06.000 Thick boy bike club hat, the fucking thick boy shirt, the pants.
02:23:10.000 Head to toe.
02:23:10.000 Wouldn't stop talking.
02:23:12.000 No, they're in the fucking...
02:23:14.000 They paid VIP. They're in the front row, dude.
02:23:16.000 I have this gay bit about being locked down with dudes.
02:23:19.000 How much better it'd be if I was locked down with my friends and we fucked each other.
02:23:22.000 And I start doing a gay bit in the middle of Kentucky.
02:23:25.000 Dude, these boys were not having it.
02:23:27.000 And he goes, now stop with the gay shit, man!
02:23:30.000 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, dude.
02:23:32.000 And he keeps chirping.
02:23:34.000 And I go, hold up, dude.
02:23:34.000 So I have to stop at this point.
02:23:36.000 Now they both stand up.
02:23:38.000 This is before Will Smith got slapped Chris Rock.
02:23:42.000 This is way before.
02:23:42.000 This is fucking eight months ago.
02:23:45.000 And David Lucas is there and my brother.
02:23:47.000 But there's no security, dude.
02:23:49.000 So in my head I'm like, what the fuck am I... And they're just talking shit to me and I'm lighting them up, making fun of them.
02:23:54.000 And they have your clothes on.
02:23:56.000 Dude, when I say clothes, I'm talking...
02:23:58.000 Full gear.
02:23:59.000 Full B-Shop fans.
02:24:00.000 Like, thick boys, but they were skinny, so it didn't make sense.
02:24:02.000 They must have done drugs in the car or whatever.
02:24:05.000 So, they're walking out, and the crowd's booing them, and as they're walking, they want them out, they're clapping.
02:24:10.000 And I go, real quick, fellas, you know how I know you're gay?
02:24:13.000 They're like, what?
02:24:14.000 They turn around, and I fucking light him up.
02:24:16.000 I'm like, who's sucking whose dick when you get back to your Dodge Neon back there?
02:24:19.000 And for whatever reason, that triggered him.
02:24:21.000 And he starts walking the stage.
02:24:23.000 And I went, dude, I'm telling you, Bubba, you don't want to step on the stage.
02:24:28.000 I'm telling you, there's nobody up here.
02:24:29.000 I will fuck you up, dude.
02:24:31.000 I'm telling you, dude, come up here, see what happens.
02:24:34.000 Whatever drug he's on, you know, he's like, all right, leaves.
02:24:39.000 I get done with the show, I'm so pissed.
02:24:42.000 I get to the back of my crew, my brother, who's my road manager, and David, I'm like, where the fuck were you guys?
02:24:48.000 And they're like, we had no idea.
02:24:49.000 I go, where's security?
02:24:51.000 I go to the manager, where the fuck's security?
02:24:52.000 What are we gonna do?
02:24:53.000 And the lady goes, sweetheart, I'm security.
02:24:55.000 I've been here 30 years.
02:24:57.000 You're security?
02:24:58.000 She goes, yeah.
02:24:58.000 I went, oh, fuck, dude.
02:25:00.000 She goes, I'm sorry, baby.
02:25:00.000 I thought you handled it up there.
02:25:01.000 I go, what if you were to come on stage?
02:25:03.000 She goes, hopefully you can handle yourself.
02:25:05.000 I'm like, that's the security?
02:25:07.000 Hopefully you can handle yourself.
02:25:08.000 That was just Kentucky.
02:25:09.000 Usually they're on it.
02:25:10.000 But you know what I get all the time?
02:25:11.000 Almost every club drives me nuts.
02:25:14.000 Man, we don't have to work tonight.
02:25:16.000 You got this.
02:25:18.000 The security guy's like, relax.
02:25:21.000 Yeah, I'm like, what?
02:25:22.000 No, work harder, stupid.
02:25:23.000 No, dude.
02:25:24.000 But that kind of situation is dangerous.
02:25:26.000 If you got some guy who's walking towards the stage, you really never know why he's that confident to do that, what's going on with him.
02:25:34.000 These boys were on meth or something, man.
02:25:36.000 It's Kentucky.
02:25:36.000 They were mad because they thought that you were- Homophobic.
02:25:40.000 They just hated all some out gays.
02:25:41.000 Yeah.
02:25:42.000 Hated.
02:25:43.000 See, that's the thing.
02:25:44.000 I was highlighting it.
02:25:45.000 Right.
02:25:45.000 But making fun of it in that way, I wish I could just be hanging out with my friends and then- The bit is they get in on it because I go, man, if they lock us back down, you know how much more fun it'd be if we were with the bros?
02:25:59.000 You know how much more fun lockdown it'd be with the bros?
02:26:01.000 And then I go, this is where I fucked up, I go, fellas, think about it, and they're all in on the joke, and I think about it, dude, we'd like work out, right?
02:26:08.000 They're all like, yeah.
02:26:09.000 Like, we'd play video games, they're all like, yeah.
02:26:11.000 I'm like, and at night we'd fuck each other, and dude, that was just when they were like, what the fuck?
02:26:16.000 Whoa, whoa, dude, it's a joke!
02:26:19.000 Are they mad because they don't like gay people?
02:26:22.000 That might be what it is.
02:26:23.000 Well, I think it's...
02:26:24.000 Or is it because they're gay and they want to pretend they don't like people that are gay?
02:26:27.000 There you go.
02:26:28.000 And then when I said, I go, oh, you know how I know you're gay?
02:26:31.000 Because that offended you.
02:26:32.000 That triggered you.
02:26:33.000 I go, look at the rest of the crowd.
02:26:34.000 They're always having a good time.
02:26:35.000 Except for you two gays.
02:26:38.000 Bro, I fucked up when I said that.
02:26:41.000 These boys are not having it.
02:26:42.000 These Kentucky fucking bluegrass boys were not having it.
02:26:46.000 Well, I hope they fucked each other extra hard that night.
02:26:48.000 Me too.
02:26:49.000 Really hope they fucking brought it home, man.
02:26:50.000 Brought it home for shop.
02:26:52.000 In the thick boy gear.
02:26:54.000 The fact they bought all your stuff, too, and they were mad.
02:26:56.000 That was so weird, dude.
02:26:58.000 I had one girl in Atlanta just fucking popping off, and I lit her up, dude.
02:27:02.000 And I could feel the crowd turn.
02:27:04.000 You can feel it, dude.
02:27:05.000 We're line tamers.
02:27:06.000 I could feel the crowd.
02:27:09.000 It was in Atlanta, so it was like an urban crowd.
02:27:13.000 And there was a white girl by herself.
02:27:15.000 She got drunk, and she had a really bad dye job.
02:27:19.000 And the one thing the hecklers say, I'll stop talking when you tell a funny joke.
02:27:24.000 I'm like, all right, sweetie.
02:27:25.000 I'll tell you what, I'll tell a funny joke when you fix your roots.
02:27:28.000 You know just whatever and she her hair's all fucked up because you can tell it fucking hurt her internally and then she would say something the crowd start chanting roots roots roots I could feel them like they were gonna fucking pick this girl apart so I go whoa whoa hold on hold on I can feel it and I go Are you done?
02:27:45.000 I can do this all day, sweetie.
02:27:46.000 I promise you.
02:27:47.000 I can do this all fucking night.
02:27:49.000 I have a mic.
02:27:49.000 This isn't going to end well for you.
02:27:51.000 I go, are we good?
02:27:52.000 Can we shake on it?
02:27:52.000 Are you going to shut up?
02:27:53.000 And she goes, yes.
02:27:54.000 I go, everyone be nice to her.
02:27:55.000 We're good.
02:27:56.000 We shake hands.
02:27:57.000 She's good for the rest of the show.
02:27:58.000 Buy six hoodies, dude.
02:28:00.000 Fucking- She bought six hoodies?
02:28:02.000 Bought six hoodies.
02:28:03.000 She's probably a fan.
02:28:04.000 Yeah, it's so weird.
02:28:06.000 Because they don't know what to do.
02:28:07.000 It's like if a girl knows a guy, but she doesn't know him, she knows of him, and he's right there, maybe she'll say something insulting to get his attention.
02:28:17.000 And that's what she was doing.
02:28:19.000 Terrible idea, dude.
02:28:21.000 They think they're living in a movie.
02:28:23.000 It's like, you know I do a show with Theo Vaughn and Chris where all we do is make fun of each other?
02:28:26.000 Yeah, but they think they're living in a movie.
02:28:27.000 Yeah, it's like, what do you think I'm going to do to you?
02:28:28.000 You have a flat ass living in Atlanta.
02:28:30.000 Oh, boy.
02:28:31.000 What do you think is going to happen here?
02:28:33.000 You know?
02:28:33.000 It's like, this is a bad idea.
02:28:35.000 Can a flat ass be truly cured?
02:28:38.000 Yeah, especially now.
02:28:39.000 But how much of it is genetics?
02:28:41.000 Oh, all genetics, right?
02:28:43.000 I mean, there's some white girls who do deadlifts and shit to build it up, but in general, it's genetics.
02:28:47.000 But, like, I would like to see where...
02:28:50.000 What's the greatest anyone's gotten to from starting from flat?
02:28:54.000 I bet there's just some dumpers out there.
02:28:57.000 Right, but not fake.
02:28:58.000 No, I'm talking real shit.
02:29:00.000 Me neither.
02:29:00.000 But, like, real build-up, like, deadlift squats.
02:29:03.000 You know, really build up your buns.
02:29:05.000 Can you build up your buns?
02:29:06.000 Because it's kind of like guys with calves, right?
02:29:08.000 Like if you look at the Olympia, like the Naka.
02:29:11.000 Look at John Jones.
02:29:12.000 Yeah, you have those tiny little calves.
02:29:14.000 Yeah, it's just his genetics.
02:29:16.000 There's not shit you can do.
02:29:17.000 If your calves are small, there's nothing.
02:29:18.000 Is that the same with asses?
02:29:19.000 I don't know.
02:29:20.000 Can you build up your arms, your chest?
02:29:22.000 You for sure can make it better, but like how much time does it take to go from having a flat butt to having an extraordinary badonkadon?
02:29:29.000 I mean, if she's eating like fucking sweet potatoes and just putting the deep squats, lunges, deadlift.
02:29:35.000 That's one thing about Instagram that it's really showed people is how many women are out there just dedicated to having a hot ass.
02:29:43.000 God bless them.
02:29:44.000 God bless them.
02:29:44.000 But also...
02:29:45.000 Putting in the real work.
02:29:46.000 Yeah, the real work, son.
02:29:47.000 Really setting a standard that a lot of those hoes don't like.
02:29:50.000 They get mad when you follow one of these fucking super dedicated fitness gals with ridiculous legs and ass, and you're like, what the hell?
02:30:00.000 She's putting in work, son.
02:30:01.000 Work.
02:30:01.000 Work.
02:30:02.000 Or, you know, somebody that might be Anabar or whatever, you know?
02:30:05.000 That's the problem.
02:30:07.000 And there's also filters.
02:30:09.000 There's some account this girl purposely shows.
02:30:12.000 She'll take a picture of her ass with a certain pose and filter and show the real one.
02:30:17.000 And you're like, Jesus Christ, man.
02:30:20.000 It's all smoke and mirrors.
02:30:21.000 There is some smoke and mirrors, but there's some real asses.
02:30:23.000 There's some real asses.
02:30:25.000 Dumpers, dude.
02:30:26.000 Yeah, real athletic asses.
02:30:28.000 If you wanted to look at it like a graph, if they were showing a chart of when the increase in insane asses came, I think a lot of it coincides with social media.
02:30:42.000 Social media and the Kardashians.
02:30:44.000 Kim Kardashian.
02:30:45.000 For sure.
02:30:46.000 Because, like, back in the day, asses weren't a big...
02:30:48.000 Jennifer Lopez was first.
02:30:50.000 Of course, you know, Baby Got Back.
02:30:52.000 Shakira.
02:30:53.000 Yeah.
02:30:54.000 Yeah.
02:30:54.000 But not, like, a fattest.
02:30:55.000 Like, Kim made it, like, you know, changed the game where asses were cool.
02:30:58.000 Like, she used to get shit, she says, in high school from a big dumper.
02:31:01.000 Right.
02:31:02.000 Now it's pretty cool.
02:31:04.000 Well, it's like, there's that kind, but then there's the kind of the athlete kind.
02:31:09.000 Yeah, different ass.
02:31:11.000 That's a different kind of ass.
02:31:12.000 On guys and gals.
02:31:14.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:31:17.000 That's why those Kentucky guys want to fight me, you know?
02:31:20.000 Yeah, but with girls, it's crazy, too, because then they wear these shoes that accentuates it, right?
02:31:26.000 So they're standing on their tippy-toes walking around with their butt poking out with very little clothes on.
02:31:31.000 The difference between what women are allowed to wear versus what men are allowed to wear is really extraordinary.
02:31:37.000 Oh, extraordinary.
02:31:37.000 It's funny.
02:31:38.000 Can you imagine if I wore the cut-off jean shorts, like Make the Stallion War?
02:31:42.000 Like Barone wore back in the day?
02:31:43.000 Yes!
02:31:44.000 Shout-out to Barone!
02:31:45.000 Shout-out to Barone!
02:31:46.000 Phil Barone.
02:31:47.000 Classic.
02:31:48.000 One of the most fun times I ever had doing commentary was doing commentary with Phil Barone.
02:31:52.000 Legend.
02:31:52.000 We had a good time.
02:31:53.000 Like, if I walked in here with those Phil Barone, Meg Thee Stallion cut-off jean shorts.
02:31:57.000 You can't wear those.
02:31:57.000 Well, imagine if I went on stage last night at the Vulcan with those fucking cut-off jean shorts.
02:32:03.000 Maybe that's your move.
02:32:04.000 That's my thing.
02:32:05.000 Maybe that's your move.
02:32:06.000 Just go all the way.
02:32:08.000 Just wear like Timbalands with no socks.
02:32:14.000 And fucking cut off t-shirts.
02:32:16.000 Just a bad bitch on stage.
02:32:18.000 And a little white t-shirt on, tank top.
02:32:21.000 Yeah, that's your move.
02:32:23.000 Just a bad bitch.
02:32:23.000 That's your move.
02:32:24.000 The bad bitch toward 2022. Yeah.
02:32:28.000 Can you imagine?
02:32:29.000 Dude, I would get booed off the fucking stage.
02:32:32.000 Maybe.
02:32:33.000 Guys can't do it, dude.
02:32:33.000 But what if you had strong jokes?
02:32:36.000 Oh, they better be good.
02:32:37.000 Hit them out of the box with fucking banger after banger.
02:32:40.000 Dude, it'd be so distracting.
02:32:42.000 But isn't it possible?
02:32:43.000 It's...
02:32:44.000 If you had the material like Mark Norman could do, he's such a good joke writer, I'd go up there with fucking...
02:32:49.000 Imagine, if they use you as a project.
02:32:52.000 This is our idea, Brendan.
02:32:55.000 We love you, we think you're really good, but you're missing something.
02:32:58.000 And we think it's a gimmick.
02:33:00.000 And here's what we're going to do.
02:33:01.000 We're going to put you in a couple of...
02:33:02.000 We're going to put you in Daisy Dukes.
02:33:06.000 Timbalands.
02:33:07.000 I quit.
02:33:07.000 I fucking quit, man.
02:33:09.000 Timbalands, no socks.
02:33:12.000 No socks.
02:33:13.000 Tank top.
02:33:14.000 And maybe, like, wooden beads around your wrist.
02:33:17.000 We're going to call it the Bad Bitch Tour.
02:33:19.000 Are you cool for that, man?
02:33:20.000 No, a bunch of old school, like, scarves.
02:33:22.000 Remember when dudes used to wear scarves around their wrists?
02:33:25.000 Yeah, you mean Johnny Depp?
02:33:27.000 Or Chris Angel?
02:33:28.000 Yeah, there you go.
02:33:29.000 Magicians and actors.
02:33:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:33:31.000 Dude, when we were in Atlanta, we went to this mall, and David's from there, so he's like, hey man, be careful of that mall.
02:33:38.000 I'm like, what do you mean?
02:33:39.000 He's like, they have shootings all the time, dude.
02:33:41.000 It's the best mall.
02:33:42.000 They have fire kicks on my sneaker head.
02:33:43.000 He's like, but dude, I'm telling you, it's dangerous there.
02:33:46.000 We looked it up, and there's all these shootings every week.
02:33:48.000 But we go, you know, whatever it takes to get the sneakers.
02:33:52.000 So me and the squad, the Thick Boy squad, go there.
02:33:55.000 And there's like gangsters in there.
02:33:57.000 There's metal detectors everywhere.
02:33:59.000 What kind of fucking mall is this, bro?
02:34:02.000 I wish I could remember the name.
02:34:04.000 This mall was nutsos.
02:34:06.000 The security dude.
02:34:07.000 Everybody has fucking AR-15s.
02:34:10.000 Like nuts.
02:34:11.000 What?
02:34:11.000 At a mall?
02:34:12.000 At a mall.
02:34:13.000 I go up to the guy.
02:34:15.000 He was a fan.
02:34:16.000 And he was like, oh, what's up, B-Shop?
02:34:18.000 What you doing here?
02:34:18.000 What's up, man?
02:34:20.000 Why do you guys have AR-15s?
02:34:21.000 He goes, oh dude, last week they were cutting throats in the bathroom.
02:34:27.000 I go, what?
02:34:28.000 Because they're cutting throats in the bathroom.
02:34:30.000 I go, what the fuck?
02:34:31.000 He goes, oh, dude, every week there's something popping there.
02:34:33.000 It usually happens right outside Nordstrom, so don't go out in Nordstrom.
02:34:36.000 It's like, holy fuck.
02:34:37.000 So they have a neighborhood in the mall that's the bad neighborhood?
02:34:43.000 Yeah.
02:34:43.000 Nordstrom's is the bad neighborhood in the mall?
02:34:46.000 The mall is.
02:34:46.000 Don't go by Nordstrom's.
02:34:49.000 They're cutting throats in the bathroom.
02:34:53.000 Your boy still in the bathroom.
02:34:55.000 Jesus, dude.
02:34:59.000 It's tough out there.
02:35:00.000 It's different than L.A. You know, I look different.
02:35:04.000 I'm a bigger dude.
02:35:05.000 I'm not fucking Shaquille O'Neal, but I look different.
02:35:08.000 I'm wearing what I'm wearing now.
02:35:09.000 I'm walking through with some dope sneakers.
02:35:11.000 And these, like, gangsters out there are staring at me.
02:35:14.000 And I'm like, oh, man, we gotta get the fuck out of here.
02:35:16.000 These guys are eyeballing me.
02:35:17.000 And my buddy, Justin Elliott, who's from Atlanta, he's been there a ton of times, he goes, no, no, dude, this is the gay area.
02:35:23.000 They don't want to fight you.
02:35:25.000 They want to fuck you.
02:35:26.000 This is the gay area of the mall?
02:35:28.000 Yeah.
02:35:28.000 Well, no.
02:35:29.000 That mall attracts a lot of gay dudes.
02:35:31.000 Does the mall have a gay neighborhood as well as a bad neighborhood?
02:35:34.000 Probably.
02:35:34.000 Dude, it's the Wild West out there, man.
02:35:36.000 Really?
02:35:37.000 Yeah.
02:35:37.000 Dirty South, dude.
02:35:38.000 Is that crazy?
02:35:39.000 This mall's nuts.
02:35:40.000 So they thought you were down to fuck.
02:35:43.000 Well, that's my thing.
02:35:44.000 I'm like, dude, these guys keep- Look at him with his fashion sense.
02:35:48.000 Dude, they were- His manicured beard.
02:35:49.000 Yeah, I was like, dude, these guys keep looking at me.
02:35:51.000 They want to fight you.
02:35:51.000 He goes, no, no, no.
02:35:52.000 They want to fuck you.
02:35:53.000 Yeah.
02:35:54.000 I'm like, oh, well, okay.
02:35:55.000 Okay.
02:35:56.000 Well, that's better.
02:35:57.000 It's safer.
02:35:57.000 Better than killing me, yeah.
02:35:58.000 Safer.
02:35:59.000 Yeah.
02:35:59.000 Yeah.
02:36:00.000 Yeah.
02:36:00.000 Everyone had an ass out there.
02:36:02.000 Atlanta don't fuck around, man.
02:36:04.000 Atlanta's a fun place.
02:36:05.000 Yeah, so much fun.
02:36:06.000 It's one of those cities that had one of the best comedy clubs ever in the punchline.
02:36:13.000 That's where I performed.
02:36:15.000 Well, the old one is gone.
02:36:17.000 It doesn't exist anymore.
02:36:18.000 I haven't been to the new one.
02:36:19.000 Oh, man.
02:36:19.000 No, that club now, it's next to a cafe.
02:36:22.000 It's old as fuck, dude.
02:36:24.000 Super old.
02:36:24.000 The Punchline Atlanta?
02:36:25.000 Yeah.
02:36:26.000 This one's been there forever.
02:36:27.000 It's literally next to a diner.
02:36:30.000 Small club.
02:36:31.000 When you say been there forever, what does that mean?
02:36:33.000 How many years?
02:36:34.000 Fuck, dude.
02:36:35.000 This place is old.
02:36:36.000 But the old one I thought went under.
02:36:39.000 I don't know, dude.
02:36:40.000 But this is the same punchline that Jeff Foxworthy lives, I don't know, 20 minutes away from.
02:36:45.000 So he'll go there.
02:36:46.000 It's basically his comedy store.
02:36:48.000 He'll go there and just do sets.
02:36:49.000 Ron Wyatt will do sets there.
02:36:51.000 Yeah.
02:36:52.000 They had all these pictures of Jeff Foxworthy and Ron Wyatt on the wall in the green room.
02:36:55.000 I worked at the other one.
02:36:56.000 I worked at the punchline for a while.
02:36:57.000 That's it.
02:36:58.000 Landmark Diner Punchline Comedy.
02:37:00.000 Interesting.
02:37:02.000 Yeah, that's it, man.
02:37:03.000 Small little stage right next to a diner that's open 24-7.
02:37:07.000 Okay.
02:37:07.000 Well, this is definitely different.
02:37:08.000 Is that different, Joe?
02:37:09.000 Yeah, it's definitely different.
02:37:10.000 I mean, you've been doing fucking theaters for how long?
02:37:13.000 How long ago did you go?
02:37:15.000 I want to say the early 2000s.
02:37:17.000 Weird.
02:37:18.000 Check how long it's been open, Jamie.
02:37:19.000 But I'm telling you, Jeff Foxworthy just pops up, runs his shit.
02:37:24.000 He's right there.
02:37:25.000 It's such a cool club, man.
02:37:27.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:37:27.000 It's like small, intimate, and you go to the diner afterwards.
02:37:30.000 It's so much fun.
02:37:31.000 That mall, you better have your head on a swivel.
02:37:33.000 You're going to get your throat cut or your dick sucked.
02:37:35.000 Yeah, be careful.
02:37:36.000 Whoa!
02:37:36.000 Yeah, dude.
02:37:37.000 Or both.
02:37:37.000 It's just the way I dress.
02:37:39.000 Yeah.
02:37:39.000 You gotta be careful out there.
02:37:40.000 You gotta be careful of the order.
02:37:41.000 Yeah, I didn't know.
02:37:42.000 Here's the other thing.
02:37:43.000 There's a steakhouse called the Alley Steakhouse.
02:37:46.000 One of the best, you know, I gotta eat carnivore, so I look for steakhouses.
02:37:50.000 Right.
02:37:50.000 We go there.
02:37:52.000 Chappelle Lacey, which is frowned upon in my world, will wear sweats wherever.
02:37:57.000 Sweats and fucking bands.
02:37:57.000 To a nice restaurant.
02:37:58.000 Yeah.
02:37:59.000 We go to get in, and the guy goes, uh-uh, not happening.
02:38:02.000 I'm like, what do you mean?
02:38:03.000 He goes, didn't you read the dress code out front?
02:38:05.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
02:38:06.000 The guy goes, you guys can't eat here.
02:38:08.000 And, you know, Chappelle's a black guy.
02:38:10.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude?
02:38:12.000 He goes, you can't eat here, man.
02:38:13.000 Look at the fucking dress code.
02:38:14.000 He goes, it's right up front.
02:38:15.000 Before he walked in, I go, he goes, I'll show you.
02:38:18.000 He comes out.
02:38:19.000 I'm looking at it and says, like, no baggy clothes, no backwards hat, no fucking jerseys.
02:38:22.000 And I go, dude, why don't you say no black people?
02:38:24.000 And the guy's like, Don't be like that, man.
02:38:25.000 We can't have that shit in here.
02:38:27.000 We don't have that riffraff in here.
02:38:28.000 I'm like, dude, we just want a fucking steak, dude.
02:38:30.000 And the security guard goes, I know him.
02:38:33.000 He's good, man.
02:38:33.000 So they let us eat in the bar.
02:38:35.000 But he goes, I'm telling you, if you guys want to come here, how long are you here?
02:38:37.000 I go, three days, man.
02:38:38.000 He goes, yeah, he can't wear sweats, man.
02:38:40.000 All right, dude, won't wear sweats.
02:38:42.000 I'm heated.
02:38:43.000 She was like, dude, it's cool, man.
02:38:45.000 But then it's right across the street from that mall where they're slitting throats.
02:38:49.000 So then I was like, oh, they don't want that going on here.
02:38:53.000 It's not a racist thing, because the owner was black.
02:38:56.000 They don't want that shit coming over here.
02:38:58.000 That's what he was doing.
02:38:59.000 Super strict.
02:39:01.000 The sweatpants thing is a weird thing, though, right?
02:39:03.000 Because girls can basically wear vagina curtains.
02:39:08.000 And dudes can't wear sweatpants?
02:39:10.000 You don't like the kind of cloth?
02:39:12.000 What if I wear MC Hammer pants?
02:39:14.000 Does that count as sweatpants?
02:39:16.000 Remember those?
02:39:16.000 Can't touch it.
02:39:19.000 Remember Cavaricci's?
02:39:20.000 Dude, here's my management ones in the UFC. MC Hammer.
02:39:23.000 How was that?
02:39:24.000 He was cool.
02:39:25.000 Had some power.
02:39:26.000 Is he still doing that?
02:39:27.000 I don't think so.
02:39:28.000 He invested in Uber and Facebook when it jumped.
02:39:32.000 He's stupid rich.
02:39:34.000 That's nice.
02:39:35.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.
02:39:35.000 That's a good story because the story was always that MC Hammer spent all his rap money.
02:39:39.000 So I talked to him about that.
02:39:40.000 He goes, there's a difference.
02:39:41.000 There's MC Hammer bankrupt, and then there's normal bankrupt.
02:39:45.000 He's like, dude, I wasn't broke.
02:39:46.000 He's like, I was rich as shit.
02:39:48.000 But there are certain businesses, like Donald Trump.
02:39:50.000 Remember when he was running for president?
02:39:52.000 I think Donald Trump was bankrupt more than once.
02:39:55.000 Finally I found this.
02:39:57.000 Moved in 2015, I think.
02:39:59.000 Oh, there you go.
02:40:00.000 Yeah, that's it.
02:40:01.000 Yeah, it's in Buckhead.
02:40:02.000 That's where that mall is at, dude.
02:40:04.000 Type in Buckhead Mall and it's going to pop up.
02:40:07.000 It's notoriously known for gangster shit.
02:40:11.000 That sounds like I probably won't be visiting.
02:40:14.000 Yeah, don't go there.
02:40:15.000 Yeah, don't go there.
02:40:17.000 The old place was awesome, though.
02:40:19.000 The old punchline was the shit.
02:40:21.000 I think something happened, like the land got sold or some shit.
02:40:25.000 That's the thing about doing stand-up.
02:40:27.000 I'm all over, dude.
02:40:28.000 I get to experience such cool shit, man.
02:40:31.000 That's why I'm excited about opening a club.
02:40:33.000 It's because I used to tell comics all the time, hey man, you gotta be nice to the club owners.
02:40:39.000 I go, don't think they're the enemy.
02:40:40.000 You need them.
02:40:41.000 You need them and you don't want to do that job.
02:40:44.000 You don't want to be a club owner.
02:40:46.000 Fuck no.
02:40:47.000 They don't want to be comics.
02:40:48.000 Some of them actually did want to be comics.
02:40:51.000 That's where it gets dicey.
02:40:52.000 That gets dicey.
02:40:52.000 If they put themselves on your show.
02:40:53.000 But most of them are comedy fans and they realize a way to work with comics.
02:40:58.000 They work with each other.
02:40:59.000 A lot of times a bad relationship back or forth could be both people's problems.
02:41:04.000 It could be mitigated by either person's effort.
02:41:07.000 And then now, opening a club of my own, I'm like, wow.
02:41:12.000 Like, I never thought I would ever even want to do that.
02:41:15.000 But when I got here, I was like, well, that seems like the right thing to do.
02:41:18.000 It seems like the thing to do is to, like, establish a real home base.
02:41:22.000 Is it more of a take-on than you thought?
02:41:25.000 No.
02:41:25.000 No?
02:41:26.000 No.
02:41:26.000 You good?
02:41:27.000 No.
02:41:27.000 Yeah, because the real problem is always talented people, which we have.
02:41:33.000 Oh, you'll get that.
02:41:34.000 And the other problem is, I mean, also talented people to run the club and design the club.
02:41:40.000 But then the other problem is financial.
02:41:42.000 So it seems like I had to do it.
02:41:45.000 It's a rare opportunity to be able to do something like that.
02:41:48.000 As someone who loves comedy as much as I do, why wouldn't I do that?
02:41:52.000 It was one of the rare moments in my life where I felt like the decision was made for me by the circumstances and just by fate, just by legacy, just laying it down.
02:42:03.000 The decision was made for me.
02:42:05.000 Yeah, it was easy for you.
02:42:06.000 It was easy.
02:42:07.000 It wasn't like I debated it.
02:42:09.000 I never thought, maybe I shouldn't open a club out here.
02:42:11.000 It was like, I'm 100% going to open up a club out here.
02:42:14.000 Seems natural.
02:42:14.000 Yeah.
02:42:15.000 And it's like, what else would you want to do?
02:42:17.000 It's the same thing where we're talking about the whole thing about whether you would do your special on a network and be subject to their ability to distribute, their whims as far as what your material is or anything else.
02:42:34.000 Well, that's kind of the same thing with a comedy club.
02:42:37.000 I mean, if you could run your own comedy club and do it optimally, and then you would realize, like, I don't need anybody else to do this.
02:42:46.000 But plus, you came up in comedy clubs.
02:42:49.000 So you have the experience.
02:42:50.000 You know what works, what doesn't.
02:42:52.000 So there could be a better person to do it.
02:42:53.000 But when I say I don't need anybody, I don't mean, like, the workers.
02:42:56.000 You definitely need those.
02:42:58.000 I mean, like, another business person.
02:43:00.000 Correct.
02:43:00.000 I don't need, like, a partner.
02:43:03.000 We could just get together with all the other people that you need to run a club, like great bar managers and great managers and talent coordinators and just figure it out.
02:43:12.000 Let's figure it out together.
02:43:13.000 Yeah, and your staff, who I know very well, you surround yourself with guys who they don't miss, man.
02:43:19.000 They know exactly what the fuck they're doing.
02:43:21.000 They know what they're doing and they know that I know what I'm doing and that I'm committed to this.
02:43:25.000 Correct.
02:43:25.000 And then we're going to have some fun.
02:43:26.000 Correct.
02:43:27.000 And it's a rare opportunity to be able to build something completely from scratch.
02:43:31.000 What?
02:43:32.000 Nuts.
02:43:33.000 Yeah, it's nuts.
02:43:33.000 I mean, I think it'd be...
02:43:34.000 I love Austin.
02:43:35.000 I have nothing against Austin.
02:43:36.000 You'd be successful if you opened this up in fucking Albuquerque, New Mexico.
02:43:40.000 Yeah, but I like it here.
02:43:41.000 Yeah, I'm just saying.
02:43:42.000 I like it here, too.
02:43:43.000 Yeah.
02:43:43.000 I like it here, too.
02:43:44.000 I felt compelled to come here.
02:43:48.000 Yeah, I think...
02:43:49.000 As weird as that sounds.
02:43:50.000 No, I get it.
02:43:51.000 I get it 100%.
02:43:52.000 I think when I was thinking about moving out here, I just...
02:43:57.000 It's just not my time.
02:43:58.000 It didn't feel like you felt compelled.
02:44:01.000 For me, I knew I had more work to do in LA. You've been in LA 30 years?
02:44:05.000 How long?
02:44:06.000 Yeah.
02:44:06.000 LA's great, man.
02:44:07.000 There's nothing wrong with being in fucking Detroit.
02:44:11.000 Just do the work.
02:44:12.000 Put in the work.
02:44:13.000 Just for me and for guys like Tony and Dylan and Segura, we were like, let's get out of here.
02:44:20.000 Let's get out of here.
02:44:20.000 Dylan moved back, but yeah.
02:44:22.000 Well, Tim's here.
02:44:23.000 He's got a house here.
02:44:25.000 Tim Dillon has a beautiful house that he just finished.
02:44:28.000 For sure, Tim has a house here, New York, and L.A. He's crushed it.
02:44:31.000 He's got several houses out here.
02:44:33.000 For sure, he's crushed it.
02:44:34.000 Well, he's smart.
02:44:35.000 He actually used to sell houses for a living.
02:44:37.000 He knows there's a real investment opportunity out here.
02:44:39.000 But he's here out here all the time.
02:44:42.000 But the point is, when we have a club out here, and we have a legitimate home base, and we can attract people to come and hang and make it a fun place, Make it something that everybody looks forward to and you actually like look forward to showing everyone your new shit when you come into town and have it that kind of environment that it's that good.
02:45:01.000 Oh, it's going to be great, man.
02:45:03.000 But also, again, to these LA comics who are like, oh, Austin or Austin is OLA, the more the merrier, man.
02:45:10.000 It's the more the merrier.
02:45:11.000 This is going to be a hub.
02:45:12.000 Are you kidding me?
02:45:13.000 There's another place we can go?
02:45:14.000 Next place is Hawaii.
02:45:16.000 Next place we start a comedy community in Hawaii.
02:45:18.000 100%, dude.
02:45:20.000 100%.
02:45:20.000 There's that Blue Oyster out there, or you can do the arena, but yeah, Hawaii would be fucking lit.
02:45:26.000 You'd have to do it in Honolulu, because Honolulu has a million people.
02:45:29.000 Yeah.
02:45:30.000 But you could pull it off in Honolulu.
02:45:32.000 You could pull it off there.
02:45:34.000 If somebody went really gangster, like if BJ Penn was a stand-up comic.
02:45:38.000 Yeah, right?
02:45:39.000 And what it did, opened up his own club in Honolulu.
02:45:42.000 Joe Coy crushes it out there.
02:45:44.000 There's certain comics where they just fucking crush it.
02:45:45.000 Joe Coy crushes it at a lot of places.
02:45:47.000 Everywhere, man.
02:45:48.000 Joe Coy.
02:45:48.000 Joe Coy is crushing it at a lot of places.
02:45:51.000 Yeah.
02:45:51.000 Yeah.
02:45:51.000 It's a good time for comedy.
02:45:52.000 If you just look at the amount of guys that are crushing it right now, it's a really good time.
02:45:57.000 It's a good time, but it's also never been more competitive.
02:46:00.000 When you think about it, like when you're coming up, like if you're on the road, let's say you're in, you know, where was I? I was in Phoenix.
02:46:06.000 Well, fucking also in Phoenix was another comic.
02:46:09.000 Like there's a lot of competition, man.
02:46:11.000 Or the week before was Chris DiStefano.
02:46:13.000 You can think about it that way, but there's no way you're ever going to tap into the sheer numbers of people that are out there available and looking for entertainment on a regular night in a city.
02:46:21.000 Agree.
02:46:22.000 If you look at a regular city, this is a small city.
02:46:26.000 Austin has a million people.
02:46:27.000 And there's only a million people outside of Austin in the general area.
02:46:32.000 That's two million people, and you can see different people every night of the week in this town.
02:46:38.000 You can see Gary Clark Jr. if he's in town.
02:46:40.000 You can see Suzanne Santo.
02:46:42.000 You can see all these artists.
02:46:43.000 Ellis Bullard.
02:46:44.000 There's all these, like, really cool musicians.
02:46:46.000 There's comedy shows all over the place.
02:46:48.000 There's plenty of people.
02:46:50.000 There's plenty of people.
02:46:51.000 A regular comedy club only seats, like, a big one's 500 people.
02:46:55.000 There's fucking thousands of people that are all looking for shit to do.
02:46:58.000 It's not hard to have two, three shows run at the same time.
02:47:01.000 I agree.
02:47:01.000 You just got to have good stuff.
02:47:03.000 Got to have good stuff.
02:47:03.000 So when you say it's competition, it kind of is.
02:47:06.000 I'm not saying that's a bad thing, though, Joe.
02:47:07.000 I think that's a positive thing.
02:47:09.000 It's a creative environment, and it's always had it with music here.
02:47:15.000 Austin has always been an amazing place for live music, and still is.
02:47:20.000 But now, I think comedy slots right into that.
02:47:24.000 And it makes sense.
02:47:25.000 It makes sense that we're detached from the hub of Hollywood now.
02:47:29.000 We don't have to be a part of that.
02:47:30.000 What comics are learning from promoting things on the internet, whether it's Schultz when he did his special online, or Norman did, Shane Gillis released his on YouTube, all these guys doing them, just releasing them online, they're realizing You don't have to do it the way that everybody else used to do it,
02:47:48.000 where you're thinking about, like, oh, I don't want to say this because then I won't get a show.
02:47:53.000 Or, oh, I want to build up until the point that I can sell my sitcom.
02:47:57.000 Like, that's all gone, guys.
02:47:59.000 It's gone.
02:47:59.000 And the smart guys, like, we have a close friend, let's see who it is, who...
02:48:02.000 Say it.
02:48:03.000 Nope.
02:48:03.000 No, I won't do that to him.
02:48:04.000 It's his story to tell.
02:48:05.000 Okay.
02:48:06.000 I mean, I wish I could.
02:48:07.000 Don't get me wrong.
02:48:07.000 Well, people are going to guess.
02:48:09.000 Eh, that's fine.
02:48:09.000 But he got offered a Marvel movie.
02:48:11.000 And he's like, dude...
02:48:13.000 And when he told me, I'm like, you turned on a Marvel movie?
02:48:15.000 He's like, you know what shit I talk?
02:48:16.000 Oh, yeah.
02:48:17.000 He was like, get on there.
02:48:18.000 That's my homie.
02:48:19.000 Yeah, yeah, it's our homie.
02:48:20.000 Yeah, he can't be doing a Marvel movie.
02:48:25.000 He's smart.
02:48:26.000 But, I mean, the beautiful thing is he doesn't have to either.
02:48:29.000 He can turn down stuff, you know?
02:48:31.000 Bro.
02:48:32.000 And it's important to turn down stuff.
02:48:34.000 It's important to know what you actually want to do and how much time you actually have in a day.
02:48:38.000 But then there is some guy, you know, like you look at Burt Kreischer, which I went to his house last week to do his pod.
02:48:43.000 Dude...
02:48:44.000 Usually, because I text him, not even a flex, I'm not even trying to brag here.
02:48:48.000 I go, hey man, because where he used to live was Dicey.
02:48:51.000 Hey man, I'm coming from the studio, I'm in my Ferrari, can I pull into your driveway because you closed the gate?
02:48:58.000 And he goes, oh dude, you're good.
02:49:02.000 I got a new house.
02:49:03.000 I'm like, alright dude, you sure?
02:49:05.000 He goes, I promise you're good.
02:49:05.000 Let's not blow up his house.
02:49:07.000 Dude, I have to piss again.
02:49:09.000 What?
02:49:09.000 I drank so much water.
02:49:10.000 Dude, this is a milestone for me.
02:49:11.000 I always brag how I have to take pisses during the show.
02:49:14.000 I can't lie.
02:49:15.000 I'm holding it in.
02:49:17.000 I'm like, I can barely concentrate on this story.
02:49:18.000 This is a mental win.
02:49:19.000 This is piss warfare.
02:49:20.000 Yeah, dude.
02:49:21.000 I'm tapping twice in a three-minute round.
02:49:23.000 I gotta piss.
02:49:24.000 I'll be right back.
02:49:25.000 And we're back.
02:49:27.000 Yes.
02:49:28.000 Do a couple piss breaks for you.
02:49:29.000 It's good.
02:49:30.000 It feels good.
02:49:30.000 It gets to that point where I'm like, there's no concentrating anymore.
02:49:34.000 All I'm doing is squeezing my dick muscles.
02:49:38.000 Which is rare for you.
02:49:40.000 Because when we're doing the Calabasas fight campaign and I have to pee, right away I go, I'm not Joe Rogan.
02:49:45.000 I gotta take a piss.
02:49:46.000 I'm not a fucking weird fucking hairless camel.
02:49:49.000 I gotta take a piss.
02:49:51.000 Most of the time, I plan it correctly.
02:49:54.000 But the problem for me is sauna and then rehydration.
02:49:59.000 And that's what you did this morning?
02:50:00.000 Yeah, that's my thing.
02:50:01.000 You did the sauna?
02:50:02.000 It's basically daily routine.
02:50:04.000 I did a little hotel workout, man.
02:50:08.000 You know, when you drop a special, you have anxiety.
02:50:11.000 As I'm getting older, I have anxiety.
02:50:12.000 I know, because you just poured more alcohol into a half-full glass.
02:50:16.000 No, but the ice, you know, I'm with the flavor, dude.
02:50:18.000 I'm all about flavor, bro.
02:50:20.000 The flavor.
02:50:21.000 The flavor, bro.
02:50:22.000 That's the flavor.
02:50:23.000 Damn, we're about to finish that bottle, son.
02:50:25.000 Yeah.
02:50:26.000 Finished two bottles last night.
02:50:27.000 You guys thought it was going to be bullshit.
02:50:29.000 And then everyone starts drinking.
02:50:30.000 No, I didn't think it was going to be bullshit.
02:50:32.000 I hoped it wasn't going to be bullshit.
02:50:33.000 It's the worst when your friend has bullshit.
02:50:35.000 But I was instantly surprised and happy that it was good.
02:50:38.000 It's a very good whiskey.
02:50:39.000 It's an interesting whiskey.
02:50:41.000 I would definitely buy that.
02:50:42.000 It's different.
02:50:42.000 Yeah.
02:50:43.000 And for me, what's big, you know, you can get it in Texas.
02:50:46.000 You can get it at Spex.
02:50:47.000 That's the big thing, Spex out here.
02:50:48.000 You can get it at Spex.
02:50:49.000 Spex is like the local liquor store.
02:50:51.000 So we're in Spex in Texas.
02:50:53.000 But then we just got online.
02:50:56.000 With Bourbon Outfitters just took us online.
02:50:58.000 Is it called Bourbon Outfitters?
02:51:01.000 Bourbon Outfitters.
02:51:02.000 Yeah, shout out to Bourbon Outfitters.
02:51:03.000 That seems like a robbery.
02:51:04.000 Yeah, isn't it great?
02:51:05.000 It took your boy on.
02:51:07.000 Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters.
02:51:09.000 That's so weird.
02:51:12.000 It's like if you open up a fucking shoe store called Blevi's.
02:51:16.000 Yeah, there's Urban Outfitters, right?
02:51:18.000 But this is Bourbon Outfitters.
02:51:20.000 But yeah, you can get it at thickboy.com.
02:51:23.000 And then just click on the link for the Tiger Whiskey.
02:51:25.000 Yeah.
02:51:26.000 There it is.
02:51:27.000 Why Tiger?
02:51:27.000 Why'd you come up with Tiger?
02:51:28.000 My son's name's Tiger.
02:51:29.000 Oh, I see.
02:51:30.000 And Thick's my brand, right?
02:51:31.000 It's for him, man.
02:51:32.000 I like the eyes.
02:51:34.000 Yeah.
02:51:34.000 There's something about Tigers, too.
02:51:36.000 Add Tiger to anything.
02:51:37.000 It's cool.
02:51:38.000 Yeah.
02:51:38.000 Even Tiger Mom, you know?
02:51:40.000 I didn't think Tiger Woods was going to make a comeback, you know?
02:51:44.000 Tiger Woods?
02:51:45.000 Yeah, now he's fucking back popular, you know?
02:51:47.000 So they're like, oh, you did it after Tiger Woods?
02:51:49.000 I'm like, I don't fucking care about golf.
02:51:50.000 I just want something different.
02:51:52.000 There's too many Marys, Daves, and fucking Bobs in this world, man.
02:51:55.000 I want to put some pressure on them.
02:51:56.000 Yeah, but that's a good name.
02:51:58.000 If someone's going to be connected to something like that, that's a good name.
02:52:03.000 Tiger Woods is a bad motherfucker.
02:52:04.000 Yeah, I love Tiger.
02:52:05.000 Super bad.
02:52:06.000 I can't believe you haven't had him on here.
02:52:07.000 What does his leg look like?
02:52:09.000 He's back.
02:52:10.000 It's wrapped in something.
02:52:11.000 I saw a video before we started.
02:52:12.000 Jamie's balls deep in this.
02:52:14.000 Jamie was chomping at the bit for this.
02:52:16.000 Jamie has bested his personal record on the speed of his drive.
02:52:20.000 Ball speed.
02:52:21.000 Ball speed.
02:52:22.000 Big deal, dude.
02:52:23.000 180, hey.
02:52:24.000 Is that really good?
02:52:26.000 What's that like?
02:52:26.000 It's not bad.
02:52:27.000 It's not bad?
02:52:27.000 It's not bad.
02:52:28.000 Tiger Woods is like 300 or something, yeah?
02:52:30.000 No, no, no, no, no.
02:52:31.000 5,000.
02:52:33.000 I think that, I don't think at the moment Tiger could probably, he probably would, he would say like it would hurt him to try to even hit that hard.
02:52:40.000 To crank it up?
02:52:41.000 Have you seen this son who swings just like him?
02:52:43.000 It's fucking crazy.
02:52:45.000 He said it would hurt him to shoot to 180. To swing that hard, because it's about swinging hard.
02:52:50.000 Is that because of his leg?
02:52:53.000 Yeah.
02:52:53.000 His back.
02:52:54.000 His back.
02:52:55.000 Yeah, he had a really bad back problem before his leg got fucked up, and he still has the back problem.
02:53:00.000 So all the torque's going to fuck his back up.
02:53:03.000 I can't say this enough for people.
02:53:05.000 There's a lot of people that develop bad backs and develop back problems.
02:53:09.000 There are a lot of exercises to strengthen your back.
02:53:12.000 And if you don't have a back problem right now, I urge you to take care of your back.
02:53:19.000 I urge you, if you have access to a reverse hyper machine, use it.
02:53:25.000 If you have access to a hyperextension machine, use that.
02:53:29.000 Even deadlift helps you with your back.
02:53:32.000 It's still wrapped up, so I'm sure it's got scars and stuff.
02:53:37.000 Do we know why he crashed?
02:53:38.000 Was he on some medication?
02:53:39.000 He just passed out and crashed on the fucking side of the road?
02:53:42.000 I don't think there's an official explanation.
02:53:44.000 Yeah, I don't think they said.
02:53:46.000 The word, you know, if you have bad backs, people are always suspicious that you're taking something for your bad back.
02:53:52.000 Well, he's been known, right?
02:53:53.000 He got busted before on the name of a drug.
02:53:56.000 And yeah, there was that one time they got pulled over and he was blitzkrieged.
02:53:59.000 Yeah, they say that with him where it went kind of south is he got, became best friends with Jordan and Charles Barkley.
02:54:07.000 And then they were just like, dude, this is what we do.
02:54:10.000 They take pills?
02:54:12.000 I guess just as far as the women and all that shit goes.
02:54:14.000 What are you saying?
02:54:14.000 I don't know.
02:54:15.000 Oh, the women thing.
02:54:16.000 Yeah, you get all crazy about it.
02:54:18.000 Well, that doesn't lead to pills always, but pain does.
02:54:22.000 Back pain, I think if something's squirrely with driving, and there was that one time that he did get pulled over, there was a video of it, right?
02:54:33.000 But, yeah, there's a video of it, and he's blitzing Florida.
02:54:35.000 Here's a video of him before the injury, or pictures I should send.
02:54:39.000 Where he just falls to his ground in pain?
02:54:40.000 His back was hurt so bad.
02:54:41.000 He would take a swing, and he would just drop to the ground.
02:54:44.000 Wow.
02:54:45.000 He would still continue, and that's like the way he's playing now.
02:54:48.000 People are like, you should go get a cart so you can be out there and play.
02:54:51.000 And he's like, I'm not going to do that.
02:54:52.000 But, Jamie, did you hear this?
02:54:53.000 So, you know, he's always trying to show how tough he was to his dad.
02:54:56.000 His dad was in the military.
02:54:57.000 Did you hear about him training with Navy SEALs?
02:54:59.000 Like, straight-up Navy SEALs and, like, doing all the shit they did and fucked his knees and back up?
02:55:03.000 Have you heard about this?
02:55:04.000 Well, it certainly could.
02:55:06.000 Yeah.
02:55:06.000 He's doing, like, proper training.
02:55:08.000 If you're not prepared and you don't have the musculature to protect your spine and you start doing wild shit like log lifts and stuff and...
02:55:17.000 You could definitely hurt yourself.
02:55:18.000 Bad.
02:55:18.000 You could herniate a disc.
02:55:19.000 Bad.
02:55:20.000 Knock on wood.
02:55:20.000 I'm fortunate, man.
02:55:21.000 I don't have any...
02:55:22.000 You're fit.
02:55:22.000 You're fit and you're strong.
02:55:23.000 I mean, there's a thing that...
02:55:25.000 You also have a big background in not just football, but then in wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and MMA. All these things are requiring you to move your body and keep it strong.
02:55:36.000 And then I've seen...
02:55:37.000 The workouts and shit you're doing online.
02:55:39.000 You keep everything strong.
02:55:41.000 The problem with people when it comes to backs is they don't treat the back like it's a specific thing that needs to be, like, exercised through a range of motion.
02:55:52.000 You have to, like, when I feel good, one of the things that I love to do is I like to smoke a little weed and then stretch.
02:56:00.000 Okay.
02:56:01.000 Because when I'm a little high and I stretch, it's like I feel where everything's tense.
02:56:06.000 Yeah.
02:56:07.000 And I feel it.
02:56:08.000 More relaxed.
02:56:09.000 Well, I don't know, man.
02:56:10.000 I feel like I have more communication with my tissue.
02:56:15.000 From the weak.
02:56:16.000 Yeah, I feel like I can relax and stretch out more.
02:56:19.000 It's like when I'm high and I do yoga, it's like the greatest yoga workouts I'd ever have.
02:56:23.000 Yeah, it does sound fantastic.
02:56:25.000 During the pandemic, there's nothing to do.
02:56:28.000 I was touring still, and I've had every fucking variant you can imagine.
02:56:31.000 But I got really into deadlifting, like heavy lifting.
02:56:35.000 With Bradley?
02:56:36.000 Bradley Martin?
02:56:37.000 At Zoo Culture, Bradley Martin, and my boy Mark Harley was training me and Chappelle.
02:56:41.000 And I was like, yeah, let's see how fucking big I can get, dude.
02:56:43.000 There's nothing else to do.
02:56:44.000 We're locked the fuck down.
02:56:46.000 It's the only gym open.
02:56:47.000 So I just started getting fucking meathead with it.
02:56:49.000 I did 425 on the bench.
02:56:52.000 I did 225 32 times.
02:56:55.000 And then I was like, let's see how much I can deadlift.
02:56:57.000 Like, that was always my thing in college.
02:56:59.000 And we did 550, which is pretty easy.
02:57:02.000 And I go, put 600 on.
02:57:03.000 Let's go 600. Dude.
02:57:05.000 I did 600. And, you know, Luke Thomas is like a deadlift aficionado.
02:57:11.000 And even when I post it, he's like, bro, be careful, man.
02:57:14.000 And everyone watching was like, I mean, you did that.
02:57:16.000 No grip, no ties, no chalk, just fucking gorilla style.
02:57:21.000 Why is he telling you to be careful that you don't fuck up your back?
02:57:24.000 Yeah, there's no need to do it.
02:57:26.000 So I did 600. That's not 600. That's bullshit.
02:57:29.000 Right.
02:57:30.000 But I did 600. I could feel my back.
02:57:33.000 Just every fiber go.
02:57:36.000 Tighten up.
02:57:37.000 Bro.
02:57:38.000 After I did it, you know, I did it for the gram, whatever, 600, all good.
02:57:42.000 Man.
02:57:43.000 I'm telling you, I was in my GT2, which is a fucking race car.
02:57:47.000 I was driving home, my back seized up.
02:57:49.000 I had to pull over, get out and stretch.
02:57:52.000 And I was thinking to myself, I'm like, what are you doing, dumbass?
02:57:55.000 Right, hurting yourself for no reason.
02:57:56.000 For what, dude?
02:57:57.000 Why are you doing 600?
02:57:58.000 You know Robert Overst, the strong man?
02:58:01.000 He's been on my podcast before.
02:58:03.000 He's a giant, like a literal giant.
02:58:04.000 He tells people don't lift deadlifts.
02:58:06.000 Is that the gay guy?
02:58:06.000 No, no, no.
02:58:07.000 That's Rob Kearney.
02:58:09.000 That's World's Strongest Gay.
02:58:10.000 Shout out to my man.
02:58:11.000 Yeah.
02:58:11.000 Stay gay.
02:58:12.000 When Oberst was on, he was telling people, like, don't lift heavy with deadlifts.
02:58:18.000 And he qualified recently.
02:58:19.000 He sent me a message.
02:58:20.000 What's heavy to him, though?
02:58:21.000 Well, look at the size of him, man.
02:58:24.000 Robert Oberst.
02:58:25.000 Oh, yeah.
02:58:25.000 I like that guy.
02:58:26.000 He's gigantic.
02:58:27.000 But he basically said, like, you could actually strengthen your back by doing, like, low weights and higher reps, but it's, like, real heavy deadlifting.
02:58:36.000 Real heavy deadlifting.
02:58:37.000 It's dangerous.
02:58:38.000 I'll never do it.
02:58:38.000 I'm telling you.
02:58:40.000 Dude, now, like, me, Mark Carly, and Chappelle, we lift, you know, basically four times a week together when we're all in L.A. Every morning at Zoo Culture.
02:58:48.000 Now we'll do time sets of 315, sets of 20. 315. We don't go higher than 315. I'm the most lean, strong I've ever been, dude.
02:58:58.000 Even when I was fighting, I feel great.
02:58:59.000 I'm in better shape now than ever, dude.
02:59:02.000 Ever.
02:59:02.000 That's awesome.
02:59:03.000 And really, it's all...
02:59:03.000 To be honest, I'm not doing a fraction of cardio I did when I was fighting.
02:59:07.000 Not even fucking close I'm in better shape.
02:59:09.000 Just because I'm taking better care of my body, my diet's on point.
02:59:12.000 Just older.
02:59:14.000 Probably you're doing it for the right reasons, too.
02:59:15.000 You're doing it just to be healthy versus to get ready for a fight.
02:59:18.000 Correct.
02:59:19.000 Yeah, it's like a better...
02:59:21.000 I'm also not overdoing it.
02:59:23.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:59:23.000 When I was fighting, I was way over-trained, just like I do everything.
02:59:26.000 I don't do anything heavy at all anymore.
02:59:30.000 Everything I do is with kettlebells.
02:59:32.000 Almost everything.
02:59:33.000 Every now and then, I'll pick up a hex bar, and I'll do some hex bar deadlifts, and I'll do some other shit.
02:59:41.000 But almost everything I do, the heaviest weight I lift is 70 pounds.
02:59:44.000 The other thing I'll go heavy on now is bench.
02:59:46.000 And remember, I know you talk about bench and hurting your shoulder.
02:59:49.000 Dude, I've been lifting.
02:59:50.000 I think this is why I stay injury-free, knock on wood, is because since fourth grade, I've been in those fucking gyms, man.
02:59:56.000 I've been in gyms since fourth grade and doing bench.
02:59:58.000 Yeah, you built a base and then you kept it strong.
03:00:00.000 So I'm good.
03:00:01.000 I've never taken time off for it.
03:00:02.000 So I'll jump on.
03:00:04.000 I'll look at the combine numbers, see what they're doing as tight ends or linebackers.
03:00:08.000 I'll go, what's the highest?
03:00:09.000 And then I'll see where I'm at.
03:00:11.000 You know?
03:00:12.000 I'll knock out 225 easily.
03:00:14.000 Easy.
03:00:14.000 25, 30 easily now.
03:00:16.000 That's awesome.
03:00:17.000 As long as you don't get injured.
03:00:18.000 That's the whole key.
03:00:19.000 But the thing about that whole powerlifting, weightlifting world is it's gonna get you.
03:00:25.000 It's gonna get you.
03:00:27.000 If your technique's not on point, and there's a lot that goes into it, especially with deadlift.
03:00:33.000 But most people, it gets you.
03:00:35.000 For sure.
03:00:36.000 Most people.
03:00:36.000 Especially if you're being a knucklehead.
03:00:37.000 That's why so many people get hurt doing CrossFit.
03:00:39.000 What I really like about kettlebells, though, is it doesn't seem like it gets you very often.
03:00:43.000 Like, I can get a really good workout with the heaviest weight I'm lifting is 70 pounds.
03:00:48.000 Yeah.
03:00:48.000 But I'm doing, like, 70-pound windmills and gorilla cleans.
03:00:52.000 That's your shit.
03:00:52.000 And I'm doing all these different things.
03:00:54.000 Dude, I told you this one when I took a piss before I stared at your dick.
03:00:57.000 You look...
03:00:57.000 You got a dick on you, dude.
03:00:59.000 Congrats, man.
03:01:00.000 Congrats.
03:01:01.000 I was trying to see Alex Jones last night, but he fucking shut the door.
03:01:05.000 Anyways, you're in fucking shape, dude.
03:01:07.000 No, we're working out a lot.
03:01:08.000 You look shredded, man.
03:01:09.000 You keep them with fucking cut-off jean shorts.
03:01:12.000 What do you got on?
03:01:12.000 Athletic shorts?
03:01:13.000 They're short, though, right?
03:01:14.000 They're short for you, though.
03:01:15.000 No, they're not.
03:01:16.000 A little short, dude.
03:01:17.000 Bro, these are regular shorts.
03:01:18.000 You got some quads on you, daddy.
03:01:19.000 How dare you?
03:01:19.000 These are regular shorts.
03:01:21.000 Don't lie.
03:01:22.000 We're Nikes now and shit?
03:01:24.000 You didn't wear a Nike?
03:01:25.000 You've changed, man.
03:01:26.000 I've gone to Hollywood.
03:01:29.000 I told David Lucas last night, he was like, what'd you think?
03:01:32.000 I was like, that's fucking great.
03:01:33.000 I was like, Joe's basically fucking Biden.
03:01:36.000 Like, there's fucking security, there's black fucking SUVs.
03:01:39.000 He's a politician.
03:01:40.000 It's like hanging out with a politician, dude.
03:01:43.000 Yeah, it gets sketchy.
03:01:44.000 Your life has changed, man.
03:01:45.000 Well, if you get to a certain level of popularity, things do get sketchy.
03:01:49.000 They get weird.
03:01:50.000 Yeah, thank God you have the talent to back it up.
03:01:52.000 Can you imagine if you were like a hack, like you couldn't, like you're our shit, and then you're doing these huge arenas?
03:01:58.000 That would be a problem.
03:01:59.000 You gotta be your same self too though, man.
03:02:01.000 Like, you gotta be able to be yourself no matter how many people are watching.
03:02:04.000 That's what's weird.
03:02:05.000 That's when it gets uncomfortable.
03:02:07.000 Because everybody imagines how you would do it if you were that famous, but nobody really knows.
03:02:12.000 You don't know until you get there, because it's a unique kind of pressure that, unless you've experienced it, you're just guessing.
03:02:19.000 I'm not just saying this because we're my closest friends, but you were built for this, man.
03:02:23.000 There couldn't be a better guy for the gig.
03:02:25.000 Good luck!
03:02:26.000 Pressure?
03:02:26.000 Good luck!
03:02:27.000 I know him, dude.
03:02:28.000 Good luck, man.
03:02:29.000 You were built for this, dude.
03:02:31.000 There couldn't be a better guy to do this with all this shit.
03:02:34.000 Any time there's pressure, it's a unique opportunity for you to be able to express yourself in a different light.
03:02:42.000 People can see how you respond and what your real feelings are to all kinds of things.
03:02:47.000 You get to look at your accusers, too.
03:02:49.000 Meaning?
03:02:50.000 Like, if you know who a person is, and then you know that someone is misrepresenting them intentionally in the media, like with CNN or whatever it is, you look at them and you go, what are they really like?
03:03:02.000 Like, who are these people that are running this?
03:03:03.000 What kind of weird, petty, woke people are behind the scenes that are doing this?
03:03:08.000 And what kind of delusional perspective on reality do they have where they think this is going to work?
03:03:15.000 Because it does the opposite of work.
03:03:17.000 Correct.
03:03:17.000 Yeah, especially with your situation.
03:03:19.000 I woke up, and I don't know, I used to getting older and, you know, running a business, and be careful what you ask for with Thickboy Studios.
03:03:26.000 You have employees, and you have boss, you know, I'm a boss now.
03:03:29.000 Like, there's a lot that goes into it, dude.
03:03:31.000 Yeah.
03:03:31.000 I'm a boss, what?
03:03:33.000 Yeah, I know.
03:03:33.000 Like, I gotta run this fucking thing?
03:03:34.000 So it's like, you're putting out a million fires, and then, you know, I guess because I'm older, I have kids, like, my anxiety's through the roof, man.
03:03:42.000 Like, I woke up this morning because my special, you know?
03:03:45.000 Even with the Tough Mudders and everything?
03:03:46.000 Mm-hmm.
03:03:48.000 Anxiety's through the roof.
03:03:49.000 You wouldn't believe it, dude.
03:03:50.000 Well, you're doing something difficult.
03:03:51.000 You know, when things are difficult and there's a lot of unknown, a lot of unknowns factor in when you're doing things that are difficult.
03:03:59.000 And that is, you know, especially when you're a father and you're a provider and you have a career and it's kind of a crazy career that you patch together once you are already a professional athlete and then all of a sudden you're doing this podcasting thing.
03:04:11.000 Yeah.
03:04:11.000 You know, it's natural to have anxiety, but, you know, meditation is probably a good option for you.
03:04:18.000 Like, find some time during the day and sit alone and just think about your breathing.
03:04:23.000 That's what I did this morning before I came here.
03:04:25.000 It's good?
03:04:25.000 Yeah.
03:04:26.000 It's one of the things I love the most about yoga.
03:04:29.000 Is that yoga forces you to just think about your own bullshit while you're going through all these crazy poses and trying to hold them sweating.
03:04:36.000 Especially hot yoga.
03:04:37.000 It's fucking tough, dude.
03:04:38.000 It's so challenging.
03:04:40.000 And if you can just fight that inner demon, it's like, dude, let's get the fuck out of it.
03:04:44.000 It's 120 degrees.
03:04:45.000 You're on this stupid pose.
03:04:47.000 It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
03:04:48.000 Yeah.
03:04:49.000 It's uniquely challenging.
03:04:52.000 It really is.
03:04:53.000 But it's also uniquely ancient, right?
03:04:56.000 People figured out a long time ago that that's really good for you.
03:04:59.000 A hot second ago.
03:05:02.000 No pun intended.
03:05:04.000 I don't like to advocate drugs for everything, but for yoga, marijuana and yoga are like long lost lovers.
03:05:13.000 They don't even know.
03:05:15.000 They don't even know.
03:05:16.000 Well, that's like whiskey and stand-up.
03:05:18.000 Yeah, but if you get marijuana and yoga together, I'm telling you, they're like, oh my god.
03:05:23.000 It's a tango, dude.
03:05:25.000 Together, together we're one.
03:05:27.000 Yeah, peanut butter and jelly, daddy.
03:05:29.000 Marijuana, like when I was talking about how I like stretching when I'm high, that's just like static.
03:05:36.000 It's just static.
03:05:37.000 You're just pulling tissue apart and you're getting a feel for things.
03:05:39.000 But when you're actually going through poses and holding poses and concentrating on breathing and just concentrating on your balance and you're dripping sweat, there's something about marijuana that makes that magical.
03:05:53.000 Getting high and going to yoga is one of the most transcendent experiences a person can have in a normal city without completely losing their fucking mind.
03:06:03.000 You can change your perspective.
03:06:05.000 And if you do it a lot, if you do it on a regular basis, you can change the way you think about everything.
03:06:09.000 Have you gotten to shrooms at all?
03:06:11.000 Oh, yes.
03:06:13.000 Microdosing shrooms?
03:06:13.000 I was doing a lot of shrooms when I got canceled.
03:06:16.000 When I got canceled, like from the time I got...
03:06:18.000 Why?
03:06:19.000 Because I wanted to see.
03:06:20.000 Let's see what happens.
03:06:20.000 Let's throw some mushrooms at it.
03:06:22.000 And did it make it better?
03:06:23.000 Yeah, I was so much more relaxed.
03:06:25.000 And how much when all the...
03:06:26.000 Also, being canceled is hilarious, but no one's canceling you.
03:06:31.000 But when all that shitstorm was coming, I mean, I would talk to you.
03:06:36.000 Yeah.
03:06:36.000 You were fine.
03:06:38.000 Yeah, you just stay offline.
03:06:39.000 You just didn't pay attention to it?
03:06:40.000 Yeah, just don't...
03:06:41.000 How'd you deal with it?
03:06:42.000 Deal with yourself.
03:06:44.000 Do other things that are also difficult with me.
03:06:47.000 A lot of it is always my workouts are always crazy difficult.
03:06:49.000 Yes.
03:06:50.000 And then sauna sessions and cold plunge sessions and all this different shit that I always do anyway.
03:06:56.000 And then, you know, let it pass over.
03:06:58.000 Yeah.
03:06:59.000 Yeah, I think I woke up this morning with anxiety and I did a workout and then drank some whiskey and then did my nicotine.
03:07:07.000 Dude, I'm on so much shit.
03:07:09.000 That stuff is so nasty.
03:07:10.000 I don't know why you keep that in your mouth.
03:07:12.000 Bro, what are you talking about?
03:07:13.000 Jamie and I bailed.
03:07:14.000 You guys are bitches.
03:07:15.000 How long did you keep it in your mouth for?
03:07:16.000 Ten seconds before you.
03:07:18.000 Ten seconds?
03:07:19.000 No, no, no, just before him.
03:07:20.000 Come on, what are we doing here?
03:07:23.000 You still have it in there?
03:07:24.000 Oh, of course.
03:07:24.000 I'll go through a can a day, dude.
03:07:26.000 I'm obsessed with it.
03:07:27.000 This is Barry.
03:07:28.000 The mango and the lemon fire.
03:07:30.000 The cinnamon...
03:07:31.000 Let me try one more time.
03:07:32.000 Yeah, there we go.
03:07:33.000 That's the spirit, dude.
03:07:34.000 Yeah, but I woke up this morning with fucking anxiety.
03:07:36.000 I popped...
03:07:37.000 I'm going to prepare myself.
03:07:38.000 I did four at a time.
03:07:40.000 I did four rogues at a time.
03:07:41.000 A little whiskey.
03:07:42.000 Four at a time.
03:07:43.000 That's insane.
03:07:44.000 That's insane.
03:07:45.000 I'm doing one.
03:07:46.000 It's foul.
03:07:47.000 Yeah.
03:07:48.000 All right, here we go.
03:07:48.000 Yeah, let's do this.
03:07:49.000 It doesn't taste bad.
03:07:50.000 It's strong.
03:07:51.000 Yeah.
03:07:52.000 What are we doing, dude?
03:07:53.000 If you're going to do it, do it.
03:07:54.000 It's the tingle.
03:07:55.000 Yeah, if you're going to do it, do it.
03:07:56.000 What are we doing?
03:07:57.000 Yeah, dude.
03:07:58.000 You do these on stage, don't you?
03:08:00.000 No, I take him out for a stage.
03:08:01.000 I don't want to be an abstraction.
03:08:02.000 I do it right before, but yeah, dude, I struggle with English as it is.
03:08:06.000 Right.
03:08:06.000 I don't need that to fucking liability.
03:08:10.000 Delicious.
03:08:10.000 Now, you might leave here and try some others.
03:08:13.000 Yeah.
03:08:13.000 There's nothing as tasty as this.
03:08:15.000 That's why I fuck with these.
03:08:16.000 What is it?
03:08:17.000 Rogue.
03:08:18.000 Rogue, dude.
03:08:21.000 Guaranteed.
03:08:21.000 You'll never find anything better.
03:08:22.000 You're going to do all these other ones.
03:08:24.000 I was good for about 45 seconds earlier.
03:08:26.000 This product contains nicotine.
03:08:29.000 Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
03:08:31.000 They're not lying.
03:08:32.000 Because your boy goes through a can a day.
03:08:34.000 I like cigars.
03:08:35.000 I'm a fan of the cigars.
03:08:37.000 Yeah, but I woke up this morning, and maybe it adds to my anxiety.
03:08:40.000 I do four of those at a time.
03:08:42.000 I do seven shots of espresso.
03:08:44.000 That's not good either.
03:08:46.000 So, yeah, just hear me out of here.
03:08:47.000 Seven shots of espresso, that, had some whiskey.
03:08:50.000 What kind of lumberyard shit are you taking?
03:08:54.000 That many of these rogues and seven shots of espresso.
03:08:59.000 You must be like one of those fucking trucks that trips over into a river and just unloads logs.
03:09:07.000 You want to hear my process?
03:09:09.000 Hey kids, you want to hear my process of stand-up?
03:09:14.000 So I do that, and then I only eat red meat, my cholesterol, and blood pressure to the roof.
03:09:19.000 And then I did a workout, and then I was like, and again, I think it's through my years of sports at a high level, and I was just like, you've done your best, man.
03:09:28.000 Now there's nothing I can do.
03:09:30.000 You've done your very best.
03:09:31.000 This is the best I have, dude.
03:09:33.000 We've done everything we can, the promotion, the marketing side of it.
03:09:37.000 Now it's not on me.
03:09:39.000 And I just felt like this freedom a little bit.
03:09:42.000 But now the anxiety's back.
03:09:43.000 But for a hot second, the anxiety was gone.
03:09:47.000 You just got to get through it, and then this is going to be an awesome little milestone for you to show how much better you got from the first one and show that you're working.
03:09:55.000 That's all I want to show, yeah.
03:09:56.000 And one thing that's really important to note is that any time you watch anyone do stand-up on a video, that is maybe at its Best, 60 to 70% of what it's like to experience that live.
03:10:08.000 Correct.
03:10:08.000 Live is so much better for stand-up.
03:10:12.000 I mean, if you think about like Bring the Pain or Bigger and Blacker, two of Chris Rock's earlier masterpieces, can you imagine what it would be like to be there in that audience live while he was filming that and just slaying?
03:10:30.000 Bro, you remember when Martin Lawrence was Martin Lawrence?
03:10:33.000 I used to have to follow him.
03:10:35.000 I've told you about that.
03:10:36.000 I used to have to follow him in the 90s.
03:10:39.000 I used to eat dick after dick.
03:10:40.000 When he was Martin Lawrence, bro.
03:10:42.000 Yes, when he was wearing leather jumpsuits.
03:10:43.000 Bro.
03:10:44.000 I used to have to follow him.
03:10:45.000 Sweating his ass off.
03:10:46.000 And I wasn't that good.
03:10:47.000 I mean, I just was not ready to be following him.
03:10:50.000 It was just one of those Mitzi Shore things.
03:10:52.000 Mitzi Shore knew how to test you as a comic.
03:10:55.000 Mm-hmm.
03:10:55.000 And with me, it's like if anyone big from out of town, any major headliner, any movie star, and they're doing stand-up, I'm going on after them.
03:11:03.000 Every time.
03:11:04.000 I think that's the athlete in us.
03:11:05.000 I think that's the competitive athlete advantage we have is doing stand-up.
03:11:10.000 I'm the exact same way.
03:11:12.000 But Mitzi made me do it.
03:11:13.000 Sure.
03:11:14.000 I'm telling you, even if she didn't make you do it, I bet you would do it.
03:11:17.000 Knowing you, I bet your DNA, you would rise to the occasion.
03:11:21.000 Whether it went good or bad, you'd want that for yourself.
03:11:24.000 Because you know, with training partners, when I was going through camp, whether it's Cro Cop, Gonzaga, Mitrione, LeVar Johnson, whoever the fuck it is, Ben Rothwell, I would...
03:11:34.000 I wouldn't shy away from the toughest challenge because I knew that would make me better.
03:11:38.000 So with stand-up, it's like, yeah, let me go after Rogan or Delia or Theo or Joey Diaz.
03:11:43.000 I know, like, yeah, it might not go great for me, but I know it's...
03:11:47.000 That's how you're going to grow.
03:11:47.000 That's how I'm going to grow as a comic.
03:11:49.000 Same thing the other night with Louis C.K. You look at the lineup and David Lucas followed him.
03:11:54.000 Yeah.
03:11:55.000 And David Lucas loved him to fucking death.
03:11:57.000 He's the best.
03:11:59.000 But, you know, he's always on his phone.
03:12:00.000 He didn't realize he was following Louis C.K. And he's back, you know, all the comics are watching him, he's still on his phone, you know, whatever the fuck he does.
03:12:07.000 And he goes, oh shit, I'm next!
03:12:09.000 It hit him like five minutes before I had to go on.
03:12:11.000 He goes, oh shit, I'm next!
03:12:12.000 He goes, yeah dude, by design.
03:12:14.000 Because you're going to...
03:12:15.000 Louie's dark and dirty.
03:12:17.000 You're dark and dirty, but you're a machine gun, dude.
03:12:21.000 So if you just fire off from the jump, that's what you're going to do.
03:12:25.000 He's going to warm him up, crush.
03:12:26.000 You're going to follow that, dude.
03:12:28.000 And he had just such a breakthrough.
03:12:30.000 I'm telling you, man, me and David had never hugged before.
03:12:33.000 He came in the back of the green room.
03:12:35.000 We embraced like he won the fucking Super Bowl, dude.
03:12:38.000 That's awesome.
03:12:38.000 I grabbed his big ass, and he's lost weight too, man.
03:12:42.000 Has he?
03:12:42.000 Yeah.
03:12:43.000 He talked about that last night, about that set, how big of a set it was.
03:12:48.000 For a young comic to follow a guy like Louie, that's a big deal.
03:12:51.000 Breakthrough.
03:12:52.000 Yeah, and it's also like the Louie that you're experiencing now.
03:12:55.000 It's like the Louie that had everything taken away from him, and now he's back to what he really is, which is just a really funny, really talented comic.
03:13:03.000 All of his craziness in the past, put it aside, when you watch him on stage is a really, really talented stand-up who's only focused on that, not doing other stuff.
03:13:14.000 There's only three guys, four, I'd say five, who knows.
03:13:19.000 As far as the craft, if you're watching football, it's Tom Brady, you're watching basketball, it's fucking LeBron or whoever.
03:13:28.000 In stand-up, it's like you...
03:13:30.000 Yeah, you want to see a guy like him.
03:13:31.000 Yeah, it's like you, Louie, Joey, Diaz, you know, Chris Rock's brother, what's his name?
03:13:37.000 Tony.
03:13:37.000 Tony.
03:13:38.000 Tony Rock's a murderer.
03:13:39.000 Bro?
03:13:40.000 Murderer.
03:13:40.000 Dude, I know a lot of people, give him his credit.
03:13:43.000 I've never seen anybody crush harder in the main room at the comedy store than Tony Rock do.
03:13:49.000 Tony Rock is the guy that has the opposite thing.
03:13:52.000 There's a whole thing where if you say that, oh, you're Chris Rock's brother, oh, you got an easy road into comedy.
03:13:58.000 It's the opposite.
03:13:59.000 Bro.
03:14:00.000 Tony Rock should be way more famous than he is.
03:14:03.000 I think one of the things that held Tony Rock back is that he's Chris Rock's brother.
03:14:07.000 Correct.
03:14:07.000 When your brother's one of the greatest of all time, people don't realize how good he is.
03:14:12.000 As far as a writer goes...
03:14:14.000 Top of the food chain.
03:14:15.000 Top of the food chain stand-up.
03:14:18.000 A monster.
03:14:20.000 Yeah, a monster.
03:14:20.000 Dude, in the main room.
03:14:22.000 Murderer.
03:14:23.000 I went on right before him.
03:14:24.000 I got off.
03:14:25.000 I watched from the back.
03:14:26.000 I'm like, I want to see Chris...
03:14:27.000 I apologize for this.
03:14:29.000 I want to see Chris Rock's brother.
03:14:31.000 I want to see what he has.
03:14:32.000 Hopefully he's good.
03:14:32.000 It's Chris Rock's fucking brother.
03:14:34.000 Dude, I've never...
03:14:37.000 You know, I've been around the comics as a fucking fan, as a comic.
03:14:40.000 I've seen some sets, man.
03:14:42.000 I've never seen anybody, including Joey Diaz, who brings a house down.
03:14:48.000 I've never seen anybody than Tony Rock.
03:14:51.000 Kill Harder.
03:14:51.000 It was a Sarah Mello show on a fucking Tuesday night.
03:14:55.000 Crush Harder in my life.
03:14:57.000 There's levels, man.
03:14:58.000 There's a certain level that you can't achieve.
03:15:01.000 You can't get past.
03:15:02.000 There's a certain level of fun.
03:15:03.000 Yeah, you got a ceiling, dude.
03:15:05.000 And I watched them and went, holy fuck.
03:15:07.000 There's certain guys, yeah.
03:15:09.000 Sometimes I'll watch Neil Brennan, the way he writes.
03:15:12.000 Britney Schmidt, the way that she writes.
03:15:14.000 You look at it and you're like, holy fuck, dude.
03:15:17.000 Well, that's the beauty of being surrounded by talented people.
03:15:19.000 So you do get to see all these different ways of doing it.
03:15:22.000 I just really think that it's important that we respect this thing as an art form because it's kind of like loosely connected to any structure.
03:15:31.000 Everybody's just running around, doing their own thing, doing shows.
03:15:35.000 And one of the things that I was thinking about with this club is that I just want...
03:15:39.000 I want everybody to know that there's something valuable about looking at this as an art form and looking at this as, like, this should be studied.
03:15:49.000 And there's a lot of information that we could pass on to each other, and there's a lot of information that we could pass on to people in the future because it's not as documented.
03:15:58.000 In terms of the way it's loved, it's not nearly as documented as a lot of the other art forms that are loved.
03:16:04.000 Because it's more complicated to achieve success at.
03:16:07.000 There's maybe, maybe a thousand comedians on earth worth a fuck.
03:16:13.000 I think even a thousand.
03:16:15.000 No, I don't.
03:16:15.000 But maybe.
03:16:17.000 Let's just get crazy and say maybe there's a bunch of people that I don't know about.
03:16:20.000 How many authors are there?
03:16:22.000 Oh, I know.
03:16:22.000 There's a lot more.
03:16:24.000 Musicians?
03:16:24.000 How many musicians?
03:16:25.000 How many doctors?
03:16:26.000 How many lawyers?
03:16:26.000 Actors?
03:16:26.000 Yeah, there's a lot more.
03:16:28.000 It is a weird, strange road and one of the most difficult roads in all of show business to achieve success through.
03:16:35.000 It's a strange road.
03:16:36.000 And I don't think it's been documented enough.
03:16:39.000 I don't think we've spent enough time talking about it amongst each other.
03:16:42.000 And in a way that is like where a young person coming up can watch like a whole series of conversations that just pertain to the development of your act, the life of your career, how things emerged, how it started, where you went wrong, where you went right,
03:16:58.000 what changed things for the better.
03:16:59.000 But now the material's out there, man.
03:17:01.000 It's all documented.
03:17:02.000 Like someone could put it together.
03:17:04.000 You've had enough on you, tapping out.
03:17:06.000 Tapped out.
03:17:06.000 How long did I have it in there?
03:17:07.000 Four deep, daddy.
03:17:09.000 Four deep.
03:17:10.000 Shout out to Rogue.
03:17:11.000 I gotta eat the fuck out of here.
03:17:12.000 Let's run this down.
03:17:13.000 My brother, I love you.
03:17:14.000 Congratulations on your special.
03:17:16.000 Thank you, man.
03:17:16.000 Tell everybody.
03:17:17.000 It's on YouTube, Thick Boy.
03:17:19.000 Thick Boy YouTube is where it's at.
03:17:21.000 It's the Gringo Poppy.
03:17:22.000 If you use the hashtag, the Gringo Poppy, and you post whatever, you're watching it, we're gonna blast that out, and then Our favorite viewing party picture on Instagram using the hashtag thegringopoppy.
03:17:35.000 You get a signed bottle of Tiger Thick and a signed poster of the gringopoppy, the official poster.
03:17:39.000 And when is it out?
03:17:40.000 It's out today.
03:17:41.000 Today.
03:17:41.000 Beautiful.
03:17:41.000 Thursday morning, 9 a.m.
03:17:42.000 It dropped on YouTube.
03:17:43.000 There it is.
03:17:44.000 Thick Boy YouTube.
03:17:45.000 There it is, dude.
03:17:46.000 We're at 70,000 in five hours, so we're doing the goddamn thing, dude.
03:17:50.000 Beautiful.
03:17:50.000 Not bad.
03:17:51.000 Fantastic.
03:17:51.000 Shot in Dallas.
03:17:52.000 If you want the whiskey, go to Thickboy.com.
03:17:54.000 You'll see it there.
03:17:55.000 Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters.
03:17:57.000 They're the one who are supplying it, but I love you, man.
03:17:59.000 I love you, too.
03:18:00.000 I'll be in Charlotte next week, May 5th through the 7th.
03:18:02.000 Where's the comedy dates?
03:18:04.000 What's your best website to go to?
03:18:06.000 Thickboy.com or F-A-T-K-Z.com, and everything's on Thickboy.
03:18:11.000 Food Truck Diaries, Shop Show, King Sting in the Wing.
03:18:14.000 Keep hustling!
03:18:15.000 Keep hustling, Brendan Schaub!
03:18:17.000 I love it!
03:18:18.000 Can't stop, won't stop.
03:18:19.000 Love you, man.
03:18:19.000 The Gringo Poppy!