Comedian and writer Doug Stanhope joins Jemele to talk about a night of drinking with Jemele and his new book, "Turning Pro." They also talk about Roseanne Barr's incredible performance at House of Blues and how she did it after not having been on stage in years. And they talk about what it's like to be a writer on the road and drink a lot of alcohol. And, of course, Jemele gets a call from a woman who wants to know if she can be a rock star in the comedy industry. And they finish the episode with a shout out to the one and only Billie Eilish, who was a guest on Jemele's show last night and did an incredible job. You won't want to miss this! Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster, for sponsoring this episode. We hope you enjoy this episode, and we'll see you in Phoenix this weekend at Stand Up Live! Thank you so much for being a part of the podcast and supporting the podcast. Cheers. -Jemele Halpern and the rest of the team at The Vagabond Project. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us what you think of it! We'll be looking out for you in next week's episode! -Jon Sorrentino Subscribe to the podcast! Subscribe on Podchaser.fm/TurningPro? Rate, review, review and subscribe on iTunes! Thanks for listening to the pod? Like, rating and reviewing it? We're listening to it on your favorite podchips? Please leave us on Insta and spreading it out there on your podcast and sharing it around the world? I'll be listening to you review it on social media! And we'll be spreading the word about it everywhere else on the internet about it's awesomeness and getting it to the world! and we're listening out there! <3 -Jonah Holmes - Thank you, Jonah Holmes, the best of it all? - Jonah Hill, the most beautiful thing I do it's amazing, the greatest thing I've done so much more than that's cool, and I'm giving it out in the world, so much love, and he's a rockstar in the best thing I can do that's good enough, right?
00:00:22.000We did a podcast, like, right when he was coming out of the pandemic, and I think I was probably sober, or mostly sober, during the podcast, and it just didn't, it just felt off.
00:04:10.000But one of the things in Turning Pro, it's like talking about the things that people do to distract them from the work.
00:04:17.000And that one of the things they'll do is that a lot of people who, they romanticize the lifestyle of being like a rock and roll star, right?
00:04:26.000Out on the road, but they're doing the drugs, and they're boozing and partying.
00:04:34.000That's part of the lifestyle, but what they're not doing is the writing.
00:04:40.000They're just distracting themselves with the nonsense aspects of it, the partying aspects of it, not the getting better at the art form aspects of it.
00:05:03.000What you're saying sort of reminds me of Dave Attell, who, you know, I feel like amongst comedians is considered one of the best in the world right now.
00:05:24.000I mean, well, first of all, he's sober now, but I remember when I got to work at the comedy store, when I started working there 15 years ago, I was also working to make extra money at a coffee shop right next to it.
00:05:39.000I would work really, really, really early mornings, like this 6 a.m.
00:05:50.000Anyway, there was a lot of times where I would be at the comedy store until 2.30 a.m.
00:05:55.000And Attell, if he was visiting from New York, would be there, you know, watching or going up or hanging out or both.
00:06:02.000And I would work these shifts four hours later at Starbucks and he would be there reading the newspaper with a notebook, like literally grinding and grueling out the work.
00:06:13.000Not on his cell phone reading, like absorbing actual paper, you know, reading material and kicking out writing immediately.
00:07:52.000One of the things that Pressfield talked about is also something that Stephen King would talk about, is that he would write and then he would go for walks.
00:07:59.000After the writing, which is very common amongst writers.
00:08:02.000They like to go for walks afterwards and review the notes in their head.
00:08:06.000And Pressfield would take a little recorder with them, but obviously you could use your phone and just use the voice memos and just talk into your phone and say, you know, I have this thing about page five.
00:08:16.000I feel like this is off or chapter six is, you know, a little flat.
00:08:57.000And I remember we used to literally order from a place called, I don't know if it still exists in LA, but it was called It's All About the Bread.
00:09:06.000Because it was Jeff Ross' show, basically, in his office, and we know, like, anybody that knows anything about Jeff knows he doesn't give a fuck about what he eats.
00:10:50.000Stan Hope and I were talking about this yesterday because Stan Hope had no idea that he had COVID. We were talking about this, I remember, in the brief flashes that I can remember of our drunken conversation.
00:11:01.000I was like, I wonder how much of a factor stress plays into people getting sick.
00:13:06.000I feel like there's almost kind of an art, and we see this, right, with a lot of these guys, that I think there's almost something to the art of getting wasted and laying in bed the next day thinking about what's next.
00:13:24.000I'm not positive of what Chappelle's writing process is at all, but I have a feeling that he's thinking about stuff while recovering the next morning because when else would he do it?
00:13:34.000And by morning, I mean basically afternoon, right?
00:14:00.000So, like, there's almost something to it.
00:14:02.000And I'd be interested to know, maybe you know what Doug's process is, but it seems like laying in bed that next morning with a hangover and thinking of something that really stands out to you might sort of be good for that art form.
00:14:14.000Because if you can make it funny then, if you could think about it then with a headache and your body's sore and you don't want to get out of bed, then it must be funny.
00:14:25.000What Doug does, one of the things that Doug does is his podcast.
00:14:30.000And Doug's podcast is basically, I mean, occasionally he has guests on, but oftentimes it's just him and his buddies, right?
00:14:38.000So they're all hanging around the house and they have, you know, they're at the fun house and they have the setup there.
00:14:44.000And it's basically Doug holding court talking about things.
00:14:47.000And in a similar vein to the way Bill Burr creates on his podcast, because Bill Burr is one of the most prolific comics, and I'm pretty sure the way he writes is he thinks about stuff, he has things that piss him off, and then he goes on his podcast and rants about them.
00:15:02.000And in that ranting, the constant ranting, he creates these things that are like, oh, there's like a glimmer of light in that.
00:15:08.000There's like a beacon of hope in this bit.
00:15:10.000Let me turn that into an actual routine.
00:15:13.000And then I've seen him on stage, and I've seen stuff that I've listened to him talk about on his podcast, he then brings to the stage, and he refines it, and he makes it better.
00:15:46.000I can't remember what the news story was at the time, but something had just happened days earlier and he was killing for 10 minutes about it.
00:15:54.000And he came up and he said hi as I'm on the stool on his way to his car in the parking lot.
00:17:11.000Putting in the time, like what makes someone exceptional?
00:17:15.000What makes someone stand out from anyone else?
00:17:17.000And one of the things he talked about is the Beatles and how often the Beatles would play when they were in Hamburg, that they would play eight hours a day.
00:17:32.000Time and effort and inspiration and being fired up to do something.
00:17:37.000You know, we were talking about this yesterday that one of the things that happened during the pandemic was a lot of people realized that comedy was almost taken away from everybody.
00:22:20.000His whole bit in that last special that everybody was mad at is essentially a love letter to his friend that killed herself because she was supporting him and she got attacked on stage.
00:22:31.000The idea that that in somehow or another is transphobic just because he's talking about a trans person is fucking crazy.
00:22:54.000If you're being included in an American free conversation and obviously a comedy set, Like that means that you're part of the everything else.
00:23:22.000You can't say people can't discuss topics or discuss something that is prominent in culture right now.
00:23:29.000I mean, there's a lot of discussions about trans rights and about use of bathrooms and about, you know, trans kids and the White House talks about it.
00:23:41.000And Jen Psaki was doing an interview and she was crying about it, sort of misrepresenting what the don't say supposedly don't say gay bill in Florida, which isn't don't don't say gay.
00:23:52.000You know, it's a weird time because we have to be able to look through the fog.
00:23:57.000The fog of the anger that we have for the opposite.
00:24:02.000Or the anger we have for the opponent.
00:24:04.000Because the way that the Democrats and the way that Republicans look at it today...
00:24:12.000And it's so polarized that anytime something comes up, anything, these subjects, you want to find out what side is on what side of the issue.
00:26:46.000Going from that to saying, what if they decide to keep LBGTQ kids out of classes to this MAGA crowd, the most extreme political organization in American history.
00:27:09.000There's people that don't like the way Trump behaves and talks, and they don't think that he's a God-fearing Christian, and there's a lot of those folks out there.
00:27:24.000If you have any Republican viewpoints, or if you have any conservative viewpoints, that's a sneaky way of connecting Any conservative viewpoints with Trump, which is like, you know, half the people are going to hate it.
00:27:37.000If you can convince half the people that any idea is a Trump idea, they will immediately hate it.
00:27:53.000It's kind of an amazing way to dismiss things now.
00:27:56.000You know, because it used to be people could be conservative.
00:27:59.000They could be like William F. Buckley and they could have conservative debates on television with Gore Vidal and people would think it was normal.
00:28:04.000There's a conservative, there's a liberal, they're discussing issues.
00:28:06.000It's cool to see what resonates with me more.
00:28:37.000I think that he may have said that because maybe he's, you know, preemptively and always, I think he's always going to have to worry about the next election.
00:28:46.000I think he's having a hard time keeping sentences.
00:28:55.000If you know forget about What my feelings are about them putting this guy into the position that he's in which I think was insane I was saying it was insane a couple years ago He's a lot worse now, but the thing that gets me is that this is It's this is just a guy is a human being and we're watching a human beings wiring not work right anymore We're watching bulbs fade out And I think he's having a real hard time putting sentences together.
00:29:21.000Just as a human, you know, like watching him.
00:29:24.000I feel bad for the guy because I feel like, imagine being in that position and this is his moment in the sun.
00:29:40.000And not only does he never improvise and never go off the script or never, you know, tweet a crazy feeling that he has about something or anything instinctual that's actually him.
00:30:57.000Because she has to debate with people more than the president does.
00:31:00.000She has to go back and forth with the press.
00:31:02.000And sometimes she says things in confidence.
00:31:04.000But just like being on a fucking podcast.
00:31:07.000Sometimes you say things and you think it's true while you're saying it.
00:31:10.000It turns out it's not, and you represent the President of the United States, and no one's fact-checking you in real time, and it's all happening live on television.
00:34:57.000There's shootings in Mexico all the time now, and there's basically gigantic, multi-billion dollar drug rings, and they're going to war with each other.
00:35:07.000And there's a lot of them, folks, because there's a giant market for fentanyl and cocaine and marijuana and everything else that's illegal in the United States.
00:35:17.000That comes up from Mexico and because of our drug laws, this is what finances these organized crime gangs.
00:35:25.000And now they've gotten so big and they're ruthless.
00:35:28.000They don't have laws that they have to uphold.
00:35:31.000It's not like, you know, being a part of Raytheon or being a part of fucking, you know, some other American corporation.
00:35:38.000This is a gang that has billions of dollars.
00:35:42.000It's a fucking drug gang that has billions of dollars.
00:35:45.000And who knows how many sneaky connections with corrupt officials that allow it to exist?
00:35:52.000Who knows how many people are profiting so that this stuff gets into America and keeps being distributed to America?
00:35:58.000And it's right there and nobody's talking about it.
00:36:02.000All anybody talks about is the poor people that are trying to sneak across for a better life and how horrible it is that some people don't want them to come across and how compassionate these people that want to help them are.
00:38:52.000Is there like a clandestine purpose for something like that?
00:38:57.000Is there someone pulling the strings behind that going, listen, we're going to organize and we're going to get all these people and just bum rush the fence.
00:39:56.000I'm like, so what makes the difference?
00:39:59.000So basically you have to have a family member, someone that you can call that's here, like the cousin in Miami, and say, yes, that is my cousin.
00:44:13.000Mike Pence is down at the border, and all those folks that were immigrants are in cages, and he's walking around, and he's, like, not making eye contact with them, and it looks...
00:45:06.000The watchtower is so close to pick anyone that gets rowdy so we can pull them out quickly.
00:45:12.000So they have watchtowers, and they have these people, like, how many dozens in there, fenced into a cage, and Pence isn't even looking at them.
00:45:21.000Look at, he's got his back turned to it.
00:45:27.000You would be, first of all, maybe he feels disrespectful staring at those people, because it is kind of fucked that they can't get out and you're staring at them.
00:45:54.000It's so much worse than this, that they're willing to take this chance.
00:45:57.000And our standards and our understanding of what life should be Is so elevated in America that if you look at some of the poorest places in Mexico, they're fucking right there, man.
00:46:29.000That's not like a place that he can go to.
00:46:31.000Like, oh yeah, I remember when I was a kid and we had a dirt floor and we would try to catch wild chickens because we had no food for dinner and we were thinking about how to sneak over into America someday.
00:46:42.000That's what's going on in these people.
00:46:44.000And there's fucking thousands of them coming across every day.
00:48:29.000Recently, an average of around 1,500 people daily have evaded law enforcement at the border.
00:48:35.000The number of so-called gotaways that the agency detects through a variety of technological and other tracking efforts, according to the official.
00:48:44.000I don't like the way they're saying that.
00:51:24.000One of the episodes, she worked with these dirty cops, and they were bringing guns to the cartel from California.
00:51:34.000So these dirty cops were selling, and they had been selling for years, AK-47s, machine guns, pistols, everything, selling it to the cartel.
00:51:47.000They open up the trunk of their car, and it's filled with illegal guns.
00:51:52.000That they've confiscated and then they sell and then these dirty cops drive through the border into Mexico and they make millions of dollars selling these guns to the cartels It's wild dude.
00:52:05.000It's wild because it's so easy to get into Mexico So you just have a truckload of fucking illegal guns nobody gives a fuck go through Go ahead.
00:52:35.000They find something, those dogs, man, those fucking dogs that they use for those, they have a dog that's like, they're specific to a smell.
00:52:44.000So whatever that smell is, that dog's getting a treat.
00:52:46.000So if it's fentanyl, they just move around that car and they're like, this fucking trunk is dirty!
00:52:53.000And then pull you over and you're done.
00:52:55.000There's so many people trying to get into the United States border every day in that line.
00:53:08.000Because that's how they get their guns.
00:53:10.000You've got to think, man, if you're working for the police, and you're a dirty cop, and you know people that are in the cartel, or you know a connection to someone who's in the cartel, and they tell you, hey, I'll give you $50,000 for an AK-47.
00:55:09.000In Spider-Man, the recent Spider-Man, when they tried to send it over to China, China did not want the scene where they fought on the Statue of Liberty.
00:55:20.000They didn't want the Statue of Liberty in there.
00:55:32.000Because China dictates a lot of stuff in terms of what gets done in movies.
00:55:37.000They change scripts for the way that Chinese people, if they say they're not going to buy this or they're not going to allow it in their market, because they cannot allow a movie.
00:55:49.000If there's a movie that the Chinese government doesn't approve of, they go, fuck that movie.
00:57:11.000I feel like if something like that happened, and they pulled it out of China, and everybody heard they pulled it out of China, and then it became like a big thing, it'd probably be amazing publicity.
01:02:01.000Like, for him to play that I Drink Your Milkshake guy in There Will Be Blood, for him to play that guy, that guy is one of the most complex, terrifying, and yet sympathetic characters.
01:04:56.000Clearly, one of the most obvious signs of mental illness that we've seen lately, publicly, is Will Smith, in my opinion, slapping Chris Rock from the front row, walking over and doing that.
01:05:08.000And then 30 minutes later, he won Best Actor.
01:06:20.000And when this one witch convinces this super millionaire to not sign a prenup?
01:06:25.000So she can weasel all the money out of him and throws a fucking glass bottle and cuts his finger off, beats him up and then goes to the press and tells everybody that Johnny beat her.
01:06:35.000Lies and says that she had to use a specific makeup to cover up all the abuse that he gave her.
01:06:41.000And the makeup company says, we didn't even make that makeup back then.
01:06:45.000She got so specific, which is something that people who are full shit do.
01:06:48.000They add a lot of unnecessary details.
01:06:51.000If she just said I had to put makeup on to cover up, she'll have like a very specific makeup.
01:07:08.000Internalize like I didn't make that big of a deal of it.
01:07:10.000I'm you know, I've kind of pride myself on being tough and You know, I don't make a big deal out of You know smaller injuries and I know that sounds horrible because it and hard maybe to understand but I mean my best way to cope with it is I kind of You know,
01:07:36.000minimize it, make sure no one, make sure he knows that I'm tough and can't knock me down and make a joke of it, clearly.
01:08:10.000Was it Johnny Depp's guy or was it an independent person that examined her?
01:08:16.000Because it was Johnny Depp's guy, I tell you, with a little grain of salt.
01:08:20.000In this article on NPR, she spoke on her own behalf after her legal team presented a clinical psychologist who said she was diagnosed with panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.
01:09:03.000You just imagine being trapped in that Fucked up relationship just going oh my god and So everybody now knows the truth.
01:09:13.000They now know this isn't like some like Some nice person was involved in this mean person the mean person hit the nice person and the nice person is just trying to get by That's not what's going on.
01:10:11.000Like, if you go to the gym every day and, you know, you take a class and you work out hard or you go for a mile run and you fucking do some sit-ups and push-ups and then you have anxiety?
01:20:18.000Oh, yeah, seeing something in a movie theater, it's like you get that thing of, like, going to see a comic in a club.
01:20:23.000We're all laughing together, this contagious laughter, you know?
01:20:27.000But the problem is, like, some people just, especially in this day and age where people are so damn addicted to their devices, they can't not look at their phone for an hour and a half.
01:21:10.000It even gets a little bit crazier because now people pull out their phones to look at their receipt or to look at the menu or to look at their bill or whatever.
01:22:22.000Well, that seems to be a thing that would benefit from just like consistent repetition, dribbling, like knowing the exact reaction the ball's going to have so you know where it's going to be when you're moving around.
01:22:35.000You know, yeah, you don't want to look at that, I would imagine.
01:22:38.000And I imagine you could get away without, like a guy who's really good at cards.
01:22:52.000Like, when you watch someone who's really good at something, and you watch they learn, especially if it's something that you can't do, like fucking gymnastics or something, watch them perform some floor routine, and you go, wow!
01:23:03.000Like, look what you figured out how to do with your body.
01:26:04.000Basically, the two years were spent trying to figure the people out there because they're somewhat different.
01:26:09.000I remember one night I was playing my stereo really loud about three in the morning, blaring through the room, and a little old lady that lives in the next apartment started banging on my door.
01:27:56.000I mean, obviously you have guys in the 80s that were producing stuff that's like top of the food chain, like Pryor and Eddie Griffin, or Eddie Griffin, sure.
01:28:04.000I don't know when he started, actually, but I met Eddie Murphy.
01:28:43.000Like the culture has changed so much and so many more people contribute into like the conversation about what's good and what sucks and what's interesting and what's cliche and...
01:29:00.000It's such a fucking accelerated time for the change in human culture.
01:29:06.000I don't know if we really recognize how accelerated it is.
01:29:10.000I think it's happening so fast and it's a part of us while it's happening.
01:32:45.000You'd have to carry a case, and people would break into cars to steal your fucking CD case.
01:32:50.000Yeah, I remember the case would be clear plastic, and you'd have the CD cover on one side and the actual CD on the other side, so you could see.
01:36:45.000Because I went with my kids and we realized we have this guy Shout out to Flander who was a He's not just a guide there.
01:36:57.000He's like a historian He knows a lot about Walt Disney and Disney World and all the Disney Franchise movies and he's the one explain it to me.
01:39:42.000Just the ability to do that is so fun.
01:39:44.000It's so hard to resist, but I've got to resist right now.
01:39:48.000I've just got some stem cells shot into it and ways to well hooked me up and took care of my knee and some IV stem cells and some BPC-157 and they're trying to fix whatever's going on there.
01:41:55.000One good thing about a boxing gym, too, is you watch people that actually know what they're doing and you realize, like, how hard someone can hit you.
01:42:48.000Vibrating the only way that you knew that he was jumping the rope was a he was it was coming back around and be his calf muscles would Flare out like that they would go from they were ridiculous.
01:42:58.000They would just go from I don't know they're huge.
01:43:01.000Yeah, he's known for his legs It's interesting because there's so many like athletes like him Prince Nassim Hamed There's quite a few guys that are known for having like really ridiculous leg strength and And you realize, like, oh, well, punches come from the legs.
01:43:18.000And the movement, like, between him and Nassim Hamed, one of the things they both shared in common is their ability to, like, cut angles and move so quickly.
01:43:26.000You know, Manny could just, like, he could zip zap, and a lot of it was his footwork.
01:43:31.000I mean, his footwork and his leg dexterity.
01:43:33.000And he was always running hills and always doing jump rope.
01:46:04.000If he wanted to keep fighting, though, what's going on today with athletes, as long as they're not testing them, you can get away with a lot of wild shit.
01:46:14.000And there's always been shenanigans with certain boxing matches, like what they test and what they don't, whether they bring in Vada or whether they just sort of fucking fly in under the radar and try to piss clean the day of the fight and who's in whose pocket.
01:46:28.000You can get away with competing way later if you're doing things.
01:46:33.000Who was the guy that cemented his gloves against...
01:46:59.000So what that means is like where his wraps are, he had it coated in plaster.
01:47:05.000So then you would add water to it, and then it would harden.
01:47:08.000So from the time he gets his hands wrapped to the time he goes out there, he's got hard, like a hard sheath over his knuckles, like a plaster sheath.
01:47:19.000So he's got this, the wraps, and he's got whatever this plaster-like material.
01:47:41.000That kind of power that, I mean, if you, it's so rare to have that kind of power, but some guys actually do, like Deontay Wilder actually has that kind of bricks in your hand power.
01:47:48.000And it's such a big advantage and if you have bricks in your hand power like Margarito has power and on top of that he's put plaster all over his knuckles Yeah, he's just brutalizing people and then sugar Shane found out about his team found out about it before the fight so he went out there with regular Gloves on and regular wraps thinking he was gonna be able to fight sugar Shane and cheat I'm pretty sure sugar Shane fucked him up yeah sugar Shane Fucked him up.
01:48:15.000He fucked him up so bad that Margarita had to get eyeball surgery.
01:48:18.000And after that, Margarita's like one eye was like never the same.
01:48:22.000It was like questionable whether or not he should have been allowed to fight.
01:51:31.000You should know that halos are a type of glare in vision that temporarily changes your vision following LASIK. You would see halos primarily at night after LASIK. Halos are usually more common in low light conditions and they look like bright circles surrounding sources of light like streetlights and headlights.
01:51:49.000Even though we commonly call halos a side effect of LASIK, they're not exactly a side effect as we usually use that term.
01:51:55.000Instead, halos are a normal sign that your eyes have started recovering That's not what my friend is having.
01:52:03.000My friend had it years and years ago, and he recently developed Halos.
01:59:00.000John parties a lot, but if you look at John without a shirt off and you look at John Daly without a shirt off, you're not making any confusion.
01:59:07.000I mean, yes, if we're having a beauty pageant.
02:04:33.000The beautiful thing about having something almost taken away from you, like the way everybody felt about stand-up, is that when it comes back, you're so excited and invigorated.
02:05:22.000Yeah, they're not coming out because they're in the industry.
02:05:25.000You know, there's people that would sit in a crowd in LA and you know they wanted to be an actor or they think they're going to be on a reality show.
02:06:00.000That fucking, that machine that comedy has been connected to for so long has ruined so many potential great comics because it's turned them into like some sitcom-y person.
02:06:13.000Yep, watered down, cleaner version of their funniest self.
02:08:06.000It's when it's connected to all those other things.
02:08:08.000Like, your potential to do other shows, or agents' opinions, or managers' opinions.
02:08:14.000That's one of the things that we were going over this weekend was like opinions that people have given guys like Duncan or you or just terrible ideas that they've given you like what you should be doing with your career and where you're messing up and that those things that told you not to do wind up being the best things you ever do.
02:13:41.000So you can drive them, and when you sell them, they'll be worth more.
02:13:44.000Each one of these is valued somewhere between $100,000 to $200,000.
02:13:49.000Now, I have no intention of selling, but at the end of the day, as soon as I'm gone, and when I mean gone, this is going to be turned into a museum for the city of Long Beach.
02:15:03.000It's a modern Camaro that they redid to make it look like a Pontiac Firebird.
02:15:06.000Because the Pontiac doesn't exist anymore, and Pontiac was a GM car.
02:15:10.000So if you go back to 1968, the Pontiac Firebird shared in common a lot of parts with the Camaro of that year.
02:15:18.000If you looked at them, it's very similar body shape.
02:15:21.000They just had a little bit of a difference in the rear taillight assembly and a little bit of difference in the grille and the front bumper and all that jazz and the hood.
02:15:28.000But a Firebird and a Camaro were almost interchangeable.
02:18:13.000I like to sit in it and just fucking...
02:18:15.000The way they have contoured that dashboard and have this panel to the right with all the buttons on it, and then you're holding that steering wheel, you're locked in, and I'm like, Mike!
02:18:42.000And for someone like me who loves a manual transmission, the enjoyment of a manual transmission is so much better than just paddle shifts and just...
02:18:51.000Or keeping it in drive and just driving around.
02:18:54.000I mean sure that's better in terms of like speed and efficiency, but part of what's fun about a vehicle is your engagement with it.
02:22:32.000The Corvette is even more balanced than that.
02:22:34.000The Corvette's a mid-engine car, like the Cayman.
02:22:37.000The Cayman is probably the best balanced out of Porsches, but they make it a little bit underpowered because the 911 is their bread and butter.
02:22:44.000That's like the classic, iconic vehicle.
02:22:46.000Yeah, I rented a car in LA when we were there a few weeks ago for the weekend, and I realized...
02:24:25.000There's nothing more fun than popping the hood and pulling out a gym bag and going to work out or whatever.
02:24:31.000But the back specifically, the back slot, so you see your engine that you just drove 25 minutes to a golf course and you can sort of feel the heat if you drive like a maniac like I like to drive.
02:24:44.000Out here on these Texas lawless streets.
02:25:19.000I was going to say, I don't know if he keeps this a secret, but he bought a Cayman, and he had it sent down to this place in Florida that converts it into 560 horsepower.
02:25:29.000So it's a manual transmission, 560 horsepower Cayman, and it's a fucking demon.
02:25:35.000He brought it to my house, and just the sound of it, I was like, oh my God, dude, this sounds glorious.
02:26:27.000I like smoking cigarettes and burning oil.
02:26:31.000Give me a hot cup of coffee throw a shot of espresso in that coffee Yeah, but if you compare that to manual transmissions and old muscle cars, then you understand me, because that's what I like.
02:27:24.000But in their infinite wisdom to put everything minimalist and, you know, make everything buttons that's on the steering wheel, they removed everything.
02:31:22.000Here's something that I've noticed lately, because again, not only did I get a rental in LA, but I also had a, what is it, a borrow car here from the dealership that gave me this Porsche brand new 2022 luxury automobile.
02:32:06.000Well, the thing about that car, your car, is the suspension is a magnetic adjustable suspension.
02:32:13.000And so the suspension is attached to a computer, and the computer reads the road.
02:32:18.000So if the road is fucked up, it smooths out the fucked up parts.
02:32:22.000And if the road is flat, it stiffens the suspension, so it helps your handling.
02:32:27.000And when it gets disturbed, I mean, it does calculations, like some insane speed of calculations that recognizes...
02:32:35.000The terrain and the differences of terrain.
02:32:36.000The magnetic ride suspensions that GM vehicles are using now, the Cadillac uses it, and the Corvette uses an even more sophisticated version, I think.
02:33:09.000Or you press that button again, so like every time I go to my coffee shop, which has a weird lip on the front, it raises all the way, and it stays raised until I'm out.
02:33:20.000And then, once you're, whatever, 40, 60 feet away from your GPS remembered spot, it lowers itself.
02:34:07.000I would say within 20 years from now, you're not going to see anybody driving their car on the road, unless they're nuts.
02:34:11.000It's fluffy, driving around one of his fucking VW buses.
02:34:14.000I think most people are going to be driving some sort of an autonomous vehicle.
02:34:19.000You get in it, you program your directions, and it goes, and we're going to realize that they're safer and going to reduce accidents in an incredible way.
02:34:30.000When you get everybody on the system, and they're all in those things, but you know what freaks me out?
02:34:36.000When the Ukraine invasion happened, when it first happened, a lot of people were saying that Elon Musk should shut off all the Teslas that are in Ukraine.
02:34:47.000And I was thinking, like, wait a minute.
02:35:15.000So if it's not just if it's being stolen, that also means if they're in pursuit of you.
02:35:19.000So if you're in that C8 Corvette and some cops are chasing after you in some fucking shitbox, stupid fucking Ford Explorer, they're going to keep up with you?
02:35:38.000A member has filed a police report and once authorities have confirmed conditions are appropriate, an OnStar advisor can send a signal to disable the stolen vehicle's engine and gradually slow the vehicle to an idle speed to assist police in recovering the vehicle.
02:35:59.000But that's like, how long does that take?
02:36:02.000And all those high-speed chase videos we've seen, I feel like I've never seen, and they're like, oh, and OnStar got them, and the car stopped.
02:36:23.000The only way to completely eliminate OnStar is to physically disconnect the module from your vehicle.
02:36:28.000Other than the OnStar system and its related services, automatic crash response and emergency services, no other system in the vehicle should stop working when you disconnect the module.