Comedian and TV host Joe Rogan is joined by his good friend Chrissy D on this week's episode of the podcast. The guys talk about how they met, how they got into comedy, and what it's like to be in the public eye as a fat guy in your 40s. They also talk about what it was like growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s and how that affected the way they looked and how they look now. They also discuss how to get in shape when you re over 40 and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you ve got back fat. Joe also talks about how he got in shape in his 40s when he was in his early 30s, and how he s gotten back into shape now that he s in his late 40s and is in his mid-40s. The guys also discuss the dangers of working out too much and how it can make you fat, and why it s a good thing that you ve always had nice, nice back fat in the past. They finish the episode by talking about how to lose weight in your late 20s and 30s and what to do about it. And they end the episode with a question that has been on everyone s mind lately: "What's the worst thing a guy can do when it comes to getting in shape?" Joe's answer to that question: "How do you get back fat when you're 40 years old and you don t have back fat?" Joe and Chrissy talk about it all, which is a good one, right? Subscribe to the pod by clicking here. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Rate/subscribe to our new podcast, review our podcast and become a supporter of our podcast by becoming a patron of the podCast Member! Thank you for listening and review us on iTunes! and leave us a review and review the podcast on your podcast recommendations! if you re looking for a good podcaster you like what s your favorite podcaster, what s the best podcaster is listening to you re listening to? and we ll be listening to us on the podcaster? Subscribe and reviewing us on it on iTunes and what do you re getting a review on your favorite streaming service? Thanks for supporting us on Insta-Friendship and review on it s new podcast? Subscribe to our social media and what we re drinking?
00:00:24.000This is from a company called The Roosevelt's, R-S-V-L-T-S, and they sent me a bunch of shirts.
00:00:30.000And I got that kind of body where I'm like, somebody said once that I had leading man face, best friend body, a casting director, which was crushing, but an accurate description.
00:00:40.000Yeah, and I was like, oh, that's nice.
00:00:52.000Since I've been a little kid, I've just had these puffy nipples.
00:00:57.000Even when I was skinny and ripped, I just always had nice nipple fat.
00:01:01.000And this shirt, what I've learned is wearing shirts with a lot of patterns like this distracts from the nipple fat.
00:01:06.000I actually was flying out here yesterday and I was wearing this green shirt and I was wearing a book bag and when I went to the bathroom, my tits were pointed out like this.
00:01:31.000Like that ancient Native American thing?
00:01:34.000I've been trying to not feed that bad wolf.
00:01:36.000I've been trying to feed the good wolf over the last two weeks, but it's very hard for me to feed the good wolf, because I usually just get up every day and I'm like, you piece of shit asshole loser, Chris.
00:01:46.000I honestly think that's better than getting up and going, Chris, you're the fucking man.
00:01:51.000Yeah, I don't think I've ever said that once about myself in any situation, even comedy.
00:01:56.000I've never, I'm just always like, I just always feel like a dummy after almost everything I do.
00:02:11.000Yeah, I always, like, today I went to the gym hard, hour and a half, as hard as I could, tried to eat right, you know, stay focused, and...
00:03:42.000You know I think what happens is because I look like I could potentially be in shape.
00:03:47.000I'd rather just be all the way fat because what happens with me is it's usually a letdown for women because they'll – multiple times in my life I've been hooking up with a girl and they thought this or that about my body and then I'll take my shirt off with the lights on and they'll go, oof, something like that.
00:04:03.000Or a couple of girls will be like – Noise?
00:04:06.000One girl, she was like, I swear, one time I was hooking up with this girl and I took my shirt off and she went, oh.
00:04:28.000We didn't because I've noticed when I was single, I would hook up with, you know, relatively good amount, healthy amount of women but almost exclusively never hook up with the woman a second time.
00:04:38.000So I think that my performance in the bedroom isn't really that great.
00:04:43.000Well, were you trying to follow up to date these ladies again?
00:05:05.000Like, if you looked at my search history, like, my girl, Jasmine, my mother of my children, my girlfriend, she's multiple times, like, sat me down and be like, if you're gay, tell me you're gay.
00:05:17.000And I'd be like, why do you think I'm gay?
00:05:19.000And then she's like, because when I look at your search history, because we share a computer, she's like, all I see is this man, Owen Gray.
00:05:25.000And I'm like, if you can believe this, I'm watching him to try to learn from him to have sex with you better.
00:05:33.000And then she's like, I don't believe you.
00:05:36.000Because he's just a pretty well-physiqued guy, tatted up, but the way he has sex with these women and goes down on them and kind of passionately makes love to them, I was like, I need to incorporate this, but it really doesn't work.
00:07:58.000I did, and my mom and dad, who were divorced, it was one of the first times, because before I had my kid, my first child, so before I had my first child, my mom and dad never talked.
00:08:08.000They had, like, a divorce, and they just, you know, especially as I got over 18, they were just like, we don't talk anymore.
00:08:13.000So it was one of these things where, like, it was the first time where, like, my mom and dad were going to be in the same room, and I'm, so it's, like, all nerve-wracking, and I'm About to go do the show.
00:08:23.000I bought a suit the night before from this place, Joseph A. Bank.
00:08:26.000It was in like a strip mall in Syosset, Long Island.
00:11:10.000The Letterman people are like, Chris, you're on next, and give me that little push.
00:11:13.000David Letterman, this whole time I hadn't even listened.
00:11:15.000David Letterman was already being like, and our next guest, you know, stand-up comic, you know, making his appearance, making his national television debut on the David Letterman show.
00:14:16.000And I said, I know that, and I even said, I said, I know I'm not, you know, a legendary comic or anything like that just yet, and I know that I maybe don't have any power to, I get that.
00:14:25.000I said, but I'm so comfortable with just...
00:14:27.000Having the career that my fans are giving me with completely avoiding corporations up until now.
00:14:32.000So I will give this to you, but you have to let me put it up, no edits, and let me keep 15 minutes of it to put on my own YouTube.
00:15:02.000And they put it on, and it was on the Trending Now page for a pretty long time, and I think that's because of the podcast fans and the internet fans, like, pushed it over.
00:15:11.000It didn't make the top ten or anything, but I'm, you know, pretty proud of it.
00:15:45.000And I pay attention to your stuff, and you've all this anxiety talk, anxiety talk, and I'm like, you know how many fucking ugly people would be so pumped to look like you?
00:15:53.000Do you know how many people, like your successful comedy career, you know, you've got a family, you've got a lot going on, you've got all this positivity, but you have some sort of weird thing.
00:16:05.000I think that there's a thing in me where I always feel like an impersonator.
00:16:29.000Well, the reason why there's more to it is because Travolta, I told you, he goes, he kept telling me, you know, I'm going to watch this moment and all that, and it was the most calm I ever was, still to this day, doing TV. Like, I was more calm the first time doing that five-minute Letterman set than I was doing a whole Netflix special or whatever.
00:17:22.000And also, you know, getting up to that moment, he was right because what I had forgotten is I had been practicing that Letterman set for, you know, however many months.
00:17:33.000And then, you know, you have to get...
00:17:37.000The bookers have to come and watch you, and they kept watching me do the set.
00:17:40.000I'd do it 10 times, 20 times, and every time it would be good, and they wouldn't book me.
00:17:45.000This went on for months, and then finally one night I did it, and I bombed with this same five-minute set, like a full zero from start to finish, just eating it, sweat down my back, on the top of my ass crack, like a full bomb where you're like, oh, God.
00:17:59.000And I go get home, and I have a missed call from my manager, and I'm like, I blew Letterman.
00:18:46.000But I think the reason I bring that up is because I think that only now in my life is my anxiety going down to a place that's like, I don't want to say non-existent, but it's so much lower.
00:19:33.000Downtown so we could see it see the smoke you know and I knew my mother worked on like the 50th floor of the of one of those towers So I just said she's dead and trying to call her phone lines busy phone lines busy Nothing is you know I can't get through to her and I just started to like hysterical cry like this emotion like it was literally like a box opened up in a part of my brain that was like all your fears out that you've been trying to suppress since you were a little kid out because I was like she's dead and So I just started like crying and I got like
00:20:03.000so angry and this kid, Frank, started to laugh at me.
00:20:07.000So I broke a chair right over his head, like in the middle of all this, at like 9.55 in the morning.
00:20:12.000He was laughing at you because your mother was dead?
00:21:41.000He was in and out of jail before I was born and when I was a little kid for my whole life, just in and out of prison, always, you know, guy from the Bronx, Italian guy.
00:21:50.000Kind of one of those guys, never knew what he did for a living.
00:21:53.000That's how I know, like growing up, when I would grow up, be like, you know, you know, I hear somebody say, you know who my father is, you know who my uncle is?
00:21:59.000I'd be like, they're probably not anybody because I feel like I'm, have this life a little bit and I would never share that with anybody.
00:22:27.000My father was, I guess, a real guy, and the principal on Tuesday, September 11th, because again, I just hit somebody over the head with a chair, was like, you're out of here, DiStefano, get the fuck out.
00:22:44.000And I'm trying to call my mother, trying to call my mother.
00:22:46.000And, dude, outside, a lot—see, the thing is, like, living in 9-11, like, actually being in New York City there, it's like there was a lot of things that, like, didn't make the news.
00:22:55.000Like, right away, like, again, all-boy Catholic high school, mostly cops and fire in my school.
00:23:01.000Like, the immediate, like, racism that was completely displaced.
00:23:06.000I saw, like, when we left the school, there was a grocery store, like, where everyone would get their bagels and coffees and stuff in the morning.
00:23:14.000Indian, like, Sikh Indian, you know, turbans.
00:23:17.000This kid threw a fucking garbage can right through their window and was, like, yelling at them, like, you fucking did this, you're gonna pay for this!
00:23:23.000I was like, shut up, dude, this kid John.
00:23:25.000I was like, you weigh 110 pounds, you have fucking psoriasis, shut up, what are you gonna do?
00:23:30.000But I remember that and I was like, wow, this is crazy what's happening.
00:23:33.000And then going home, trying to call my mother, trying to call my mother.
00:23:36.000Can't get in touch with her, can't get in touch with her.
00:26:30.000He was like, I'll be down there in about 30 minutes.
00:26:33.000I was like, you live in Staten Island, you know, traffic to Queens at 9.30 in the morning would take like two hours to get there.
00:26:40.000Somehow he shows up in like 45 minutes.
00:26:41.000I'll never forget, wearing like a New York Yankees batting practice jacket, like a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, huge, chain on, just ready to go.
00:26:50.000And he goes, you do everything I tell you to do.
00:30:06.000He goes, the second option, and again, this one sucks for you.
00:30:09.000He goes, I'm going to come over there and I'm going to break both your kneecaps.
00:30:13.000And he goes, you may think I heard that line in a movie.
00:30:17.000He goes, I'm one of the guys they write the movies about.
00:30:20.000He goes, I will, and this is funny, he goes, I will call 911 right now.
00:30:25.000He goes, I will give them my address, my social security number, whatever.
00:30:28.000He goes, because I'd rather go to prison for the rest of my life and be back with my friends than you throw him out and me have to listen to his mother's fucking mouth for the rest of my life that he got expelled from school.
00:30:54.000So he kept saying easy breezy, and my dad, and he goes, what we'll do is, he gets detention before and after school, and he's thrown off the basketball team.
00:31:27.000And my father and brother Rob actually became like...
00:31:31.000Friends at graduation, they were shaking hands, friends, everything was all good.
00:31:35.000And it was one of those things where like, my dad, he's not that way anymore.
00:31:39.000But growing up, like my dad was just that guy.
00:31:42.000He was like, right intention, wrong move is the best way I could describe my father.
00:31:46.000And now that I'm a father, I want to take...
00:31:49.000Some stuff from him, but, you know, be more of the right intention, right move.
00:31:53.000Because my dad, he genuinely was coming from a place of love when he was like, I'm going to hurt this principal because they're hurting you, but obviously the wrong moves.
00:32:00.000But he just grew up in a time when it's like you wanted to get something, you got violent.
00:33:08.000All this mental energy be eaten up by my self-serving narcissistic anxiety.
00:33:14.000If I'm going to die, if that's going to happen, I need to be like a present good dad.
00:33:17.000And I need to figure, I want to have questions answered for my daughters when and if they ask me to them, I want to give them my full attention.
00:33:24.000So little by little, my anxiety's been going down.
00:33:29.000I think it still will always be there because that Pandora's box thing was open.
00:33:35.000So there was no anxiety prior to September 11th, and then all of it came after that, and you've never let it go?
00:33:41.000Yeah, it got to the point where every woman that I was with, every girlfriend I ever had, if I texted them and they said, you know, and if I texted them and they didn't write back to me in 10 minutes, all that anxiety of September 11th would rush on to me, and I couldn't get out of it.
00:33:58.000It got so bad to the point where I used to bring my phone off Out onto the bench.
00:34:04.000Like, in my warm-ups, I would, like, if the coach subbed me out of the game, I would run, make believe I'm going to get water, and I would rummage through the warm-ups and have my phone there to make sure my girlfriend at the time texted me she was home, and if she didn't, I couldn't function.
00:34:49.000Or they would fuck with me on the bus.
00:34:50.000Because my teammates started to figure out like, oh shit, Chris gets really nervous about his girlfriends.
00:34:56.000So they would text me sometimes like from these random numbers or call me like press the star six seven to like block the number and be like, hey, you know, it's your girlfriend's Maria.
00:35:05.000They're like, hey, Maria, I just saw your girlfriend Maria.
00:36:20.000In the middle of it, I was like, I don't...
00:36:23.000I just still feel like no anxiety, like I knew I was bombing, you know, I feel the sweat and all that, and I was like, this is gonna- So why are you saying that you wanted to kill yourself?
00:36:31.000Because I think that, you know, I didn't give the people a good show, so that's what it was- That's not anxiety?
00:36:38.000I guess it is in some ways, but it's not like, for me, like, I wasn't like, my body, I'm saying the symptoms of it, my heart wasn't beating any faster.
00:36:47.000I think you're right about it being narcissistic.
00:37:03.000There's a part of that, for sure, right?
00:37:05.000Yeah, and I don't like the way that feels because it's that and I think it's mental energy.
00:37:11.000I kind of feel like now, I have a stepchild and then two daughters, stepson and two daughters, and I'm like, I got to give them almost I only have a finite amount of energy each day now.
00:37:21.000And I'm like, I can't spend this thinking if I'm going to have a heart attack or if I'm...
00:37:48.000About like, not jittery, angry at myself about my lack of consistency, that it takes me out of, I get angry at myself now, more than anxious about things.
00:38:28.000I used to write down, go to the gym for 90 minutes, write for two hours, do this, do that, do two sets a night, do this, do that.
00:38:39.000Whatever I was going to do that I needed to do, go to jujitsu at 8pm.
00:38:42.000Whatever the fuck it was that I had to do, I'd write it down and I'd do it.
00:38:45.000And once I started just doing it automatically, and then there's that feeling of being inconsistent, of like, I don't want to do this, just fucking do it.
00:40:06.000Yeah, I think the prepared thing is a huge thing.
00:40:09.000I think I feel at times, yeah, I guess I never really equated that, where it's like the more prepared I am for something, the less anxiety or stress I have about it.
00:40:20.000So it seems like you're on a good path.
00:40:23.000But a lot of this stuff, the reason why I'm saying it is correct that it's connected to anxiety, you're thinking about yourself.
00:40:33.000You're consistently thinking about yourself and your feelings.
00:40:36.000Instead of just thinking about the world and thinking about experiences in life and just living in the moment, you're thinking consistently about your feelings and about worries and fears.
00:40:48.000That is what you—so you're aware of what it is.
00:40:51.000Yeah, and at times the change is difficult for me, but—and I don't know if this is going to—I don't want to say fix it, but help, but for a very conservative Irish Catholic mother— Listens to the government.
00:41:06.000What the priest says is the thing we do.
00:41:08.000What the president says is the thing we do.
00:41:34.000Explained about on Netflix about psilocybin and they talked about how it can rewire you're like, you know If your brain is like a you know snow that is being skied on it has the tracks that go a certain way and then psilocybin is like the new snow I was like I think I need that at this point to be a better everything in my life tries to revolve around being a father now Have you done it?
00:41:54.000No, I've never done any psychedelics, but I wish I had we had some right now Yeah, I would do it right now because I've never tried it.
00:43:19.000Yeah, and then I had to leave the arena and I walked up to the cops because again I was raised like in a very drugs are bad and I walked up to the cops and I was like I was like officer I'm having a stroke and he was like no you're not I was like I'm having a stroke and he was like did you take any type of drugs or anything like that I was like am I gonna get arrested if I say yes and he was like No,
00:44:34.000Just accept that you're high and have good intentions with it.
00:44:37.000And I promise you it's all going to change.
00:44:39.000And then I got, I went, actually, I went to, me and my girl were split up at the time, but we'd already had our daughter, but we were co-parenting at the time.
00:44:46.000I wasn't even living at the apartment on 91st Street, but I knocked on the door, and I was like, Jazz, I'm having a stroke.
00:44:51.000And she was like, you're not having a stroke.
00:45:25.000And then I go, I remember just being in my daughter's room.
00:45:29.000She was asleep and just talking to all her stuffed animals and holding her stuffed animals and being like, you know, calm down, Chris, calm down.
00:45:37.000I remember I was like, my daughter was in the bed.
00:46:35.000They think somebody put something in there.
00:46:37.000Because it's just different than being high.
00:46:39.000But even being too high from smoking it, if you're not a person who gets high all the time, Your body doesn't know what the fuck to do with that experience and it can trigger all sorts of weird paranoid thoughts and freak you out and it's not necessarily always gonna be okay.
00:46:55.000Like this whole idea like you're gonna be fine when you sober up, that's not really true because there's legitimate evidence that a certain percentage of the people have Some sort of a psychotic break or some sort of a schizophrenic break that coincides with the consumption of either edibles or a lot of smoking pot.
00:47:12.000Like Alex Berenson, who's a reporter from the New York Times, wrote a book on it.
00:47:17.000I think it's called Tell Your Children.
00:47:18.000And a lot of the cannabis people pushed back on it, but not me.
00:47:25.000Because I know multiple people who have never been the same, who've gotten really fucking high one time and then something went off.
00:47:33.000I don't think it's something that people should take lightly because I think most people come back from it But I think there's certain people that have schizophrenic tendencies that if they do have what you would call a breakthrough edible experience like they're eating 250 milligrams or something crazy like that Which is you know for Joey Diaz is a normal Tuesday,
00:47:55.000but for a regular person that'll send you into the fucking dark realm of And those kind of people, oftentimes, when they have these schizophrenic breaks, they're never the same again.
00:48:06.000I know multiple people, two people that are close to me, that are not the same after they've had severe marijuana experiences.
00:48:16.000So should I do drugs or don't do drugs?
00:48:18.000Do you have schizophrenia in your family?
00:48:20.000Do you feel like you've ever had a schizophrenic moment where you're worried and paranoid and think that everybody hates you and the government's out to get you or you hear voices in your head?
00:49:34.000I mean, obviously these are gross generalizations and sometimes people grow up with a single parent and they're fine, but oftentimes this imbalance by only having one, you know, gender in your life that's, you know, running a show, dependent upon their own personal personalities and anxieties and all their other things.
00:49:50.000Can set you off on a course of, like, you need something that's not addressed when you're young.
00:49:58.000I also grew up in a neighborhood where it's like if you were into learning, or pretty much if you were into anything other than sports or cars, you were gay.
00:50:06.000Like, that's, you know, like, I know every state capitol.
00:50:12.000She would lock me in my room from the outside, which is kind of crazy now that I think back.
00:50:16.000But she would make me just recite the state capitals or read about history or read from an encyclopedia.
00:50:21.000And I mean, sometimes it'd be like two hours and I would, you know, like stop reading the encyclopedia because I'm like, there's no way this lady's still listening.
00:50:28.000And then like two seconds go by and she'd be like, continue, Christopher.
00:50:32.000And I would have to like just keep reading.
00:50:33.000So I know all these state capitals and all these facts and it's like, You know, I got a friend, Antonio Parisi, who did like 15 years in prison for my neighborhood.
00:50:41.000It's like, I couldn't tell him like, oh, I know that the brown signs in the neighborhood are designated for historical blocks and you can't mess with the facades because they were built by German architects.
00:50:50.000He'd fucking be like, what are you gay?
00:50:52.000Did you learn that from the guy you were fucking?
00:51:19.000It's a thing that I grew up with big time, where like, even when I first started doing comedy, because it was in the arts, they were like, of course you do comedy, because you fucking like microphone, you like long things by your lips, you know, things like that.
00:53:01.000He was like, I just feel bad for these kids because if they break into my house or my neighbor's house, I'm going to shoot them and kill them.
00:53:49.000And I think about that, too, as my kids.
00:53:51.000I'm like, you know how many near-death situations I was in?
00:53:54.000I'm sure you were in, Jamie was in when we were children, that we just somehow survived?
00:53:58.000As a father now, sometimes I think about that where I'm like, Fuck all these near-death situations my kids may or may not be in, but then I have to tell myself again, that's bad wolf stuff.
00:55:14.000Where I'm like, I feel like I had a past life.
00:55:16.000If that exists, like I feel like I was in that part of the world.
00:55:22.000But when I go search for history stuff and start reading about history stuff and going for walks, like there's a place in Staten Island called Fort Wadsworth, which is where the British troops first made landfall when they were going to go take over, try to take America back.
00:55:37.000That's where they landed, so it's like so much history there, and I feel like this insane sense of calmness when I'm there.
00:55:43.000Like, all that stuff that's like, you know, what the therapist tells you, oh, if it starts with a what-if, that's anxiety, get it out of your head.
00:55:50.000If it's not going to matter in five months, don't give it more than five minutes.
00:55:52.000All these things that I try to remember daily that sometimes escape my brain, I have so much clarity when I'm sitting around Colonial history sites.
00:56:01.000There's been times where I've drove to Colonial Williamsburg, which is nine hours away from my house, just to calm down.
00:56:09.000Calm, that's interesting that it would make you calm.
00:56:11.000So do you have family that lived here back then?
00:56:16.000Is there anyone in your ancestry, if you could trace it back to, like, what year did your family get to America?
00:56:22.000No, so this whole, my whole life, I thought that, you know, my name's Chris DiStefano, I thought I was an Italian guy, you know, like, mostly Italian-American.
00:56:29.000I knew my mother was Irish, she has red hair, and I thought my dad was, you know, hardcore Italian, and then I did the Ancestry.com And I found that I'm 95% German.
00:56:44.000That's weird, too, because, first of all, when I went to Germany, I went there to Munich, to Oktoberfest, people were just talking to me in German, and I had to be like, I don't speak any German.
00:56:54.000And then they'd say in English, you're not German?
00:56:56.000And one guy was like, I usually know when someone's an American.
00:58:47.000Like, arachnophobia is a real thing, where someone will see a spider and be fucking paralyzed.
00:58:51.000They don't know what that is, but they suspect that someone somewhere got bit by a spider Or someone saw someone get bit by a spider and died, and that memory is burned in the DNA of the parent, and then into the child,
00:59:07.000and then perhaps into the child's child, and it just carries on.
00:59:10.000It's just speculation, but for whatever reason, like Ophidiophobia is the snake one.
00:59:29.000You might not be afraid of, you know, other things that are actually dangerous.
00:59:33.000But you're afraid of a snake, or you're afraid of a spider to the point where you lock up, like, paralyzed by anxiety, and they don't know why.
00:59:45.000Well, everybody should be scared of the dark, because the dark is, if you follow primate history, all of our ancestors, you go way, way back, they're all eaten by cats.
01:01:18.000I started fighting when I was 15 and I'm really lucky I did.
01:01:22.000I'm really lucky because I was dumb back then and my brain wasn't fully formed and I wasn't smart enough to realize how dangerous it was.
01:01:29.000So I engaged in it when I was very young and I got used to these violent encounters on a regular basis because I was competing and fighting in tournaments all the time and that helped me so much.
01:01:41.000Because regular scary is not as scary as fight scary.
01:01:44.000Fight scary was like, it's coming up Saturday, tournament's on Saturday, here it is Tuesday, I'm fucking shitting my pants, I'm stretching, I'm warming up, I'm worried, am I gonna wake up on Saturday lying flat on my back with a fucking broken jaw?
01:02:01.000You know and then I'd find out who's in the division like oh fucking that guy's in the division shit, right?
01:02:05.000You know and I'd freak out and that is so much more scary than most stuff that you encounter in day-to-day life that I got a Level of fear when I've when I stopped fighting when I was 21 One of the things are 21 or 22. I forgot when my last fights were they were in that range I think was before right before I turned 22 when I stopped fighting immediately I felt relaxed.
01:03:05.000And I'm like, oh my god, my social skills suck because I didn't develop them.
01:03:09.000From 15 to 21, I was just doing this weird, crazy thing, and I wasn't really engaging in most Like party type activities and I kind of liked it that I was this weirdo outcast who's doing this like dangerous thing So I was in high school and most kids are doing these things.
01:03:28.000Yeah, like competing in tournaments So when I started doing stand-up there was a part of me that was like fuck this and I'll prop I don't know man.
01:03:35.000Maybe if I didn't hurt my knee I might have fought again, but I fucked my knee up and I had to get an ACL reconstruction And that's like a whole year.
01:04:11.000So, there was no question I wasn't fighting then.
01:04:14.000And then I got better at comedy and then I got over it.
01:04:16.000But that fucking, those moments of like fear and anxiety that you have, like when you're just starting to do stand-up, it's like a different kind of fear and anxiety.
01:04:30.000Yeah, because I think one's subjective, one's objective.
01:05:39.000Yeah, so Detroit back then was fucking booming and then in the 80s I guess I'm not sure the timeline whatever they pulled out That's around that Roger and me movie right if you see that no I haven't I heard of it I still to this day think it's Michael Moore's best work I think that's his best work because it was real innocent It was like him really just a young unknown filmmaker who is trying to find out what the fuck happened and see if people couldn't comprehend The damage they've
01:06:09.000done to the city, like how devastating it is to people that have no way to get out.
01:06:13.000Yeah, and there's good comedy there, too.
01:06:16.000I mean, I did that Royal Oak Theatre, and the people are just so happy.
01:06:20.000But when you got, like, a fucking economically fucked city, those people are the ones who need the laughs more than anybody.
01:06:27.000I mean, if you ever look at old pictures of, like, Iran, like, Tehran, Iran, like, in the 50s, 60s, it was, like, booming and beautiful, and there was not, like, nobody had to wear any headdresses, like, it was a beautiful, vibrant place.
01:06:39.000It's only, like, you know, a lot, everything goes through, like, you know, like you said, like a history, like, you know, like, Detroit, it does feel like it's coming back a little bit now, you know?
01:06:55.000They make really good watches and leather goods and like really good handmade stuff that's like solid quality and they're like proudly made in Detroit and all their stuff.
01:07:04.000Yeah, I went to that Jack White store, that album store they have.
01:07:09.000I think it was by the Shinola place and I went and saw that, like the White Stripes and all.
01:07:14.000Because I, again, music, like I didn't, like the only music I ever listened to was like Rap and Whitney Houston.
01:07:37.000She was the best singer, I think, of all time.
01:07:39.000But even when I see people, and hey, whatever people want to do, when I see people lining up outside to get something or get in a concert, I never ever in my life wanted to do that.
01:08:28.000And it could put you, it was sort of like, you wouldn't affect anything, but you could be there for like Muhammad Ali versus George Foreman in Africa.
01:08:40.000Honestly, I think I'd rather go back in time and just watch Benjamin Franklin fly a kite.
01:09:29.000So, if you wanted to go back to a particular point in history, if you could only go and watch it once, and maybe you could be there for 24 hours in this hamster bubble, where you just stay in this one thing, you can't go anywhere, you don't interact with people, but you get to experience what life was like.
01:09:45.000See, I think there's, you know, a lot of people I know might want to go see the pyramids.
01:09:52.000And I think that time is fascinating, truthfully.
01:09:55.000But I think for me, I genuinely would want to go back, just because I feel such a connection to it, to specifically the Battle of Brooklyn in August of 1776. Because I would, number one,
01:10:10.000want to see, like, I think about, like, I want to know when I go to another city, I don't ever really go to the tourist attractions.
01:10:36.000So I would like to go to the Battle of Brooklyn, where I lived, where it happened in Bay Ridge, all those shops and stores I know now, see it completely just in the forest or whatever it looked like in 1776, and see what really happened in these battles.
01:10:49.000Because, you know, the winners write the history books, but see what actually really, really happened.
01:10:56.000Because I think that, to me, watching, you know, on that battle, because there's a story in that battle, the Battle of Brooklyn, where they say, George Washington, we were going to lose the war right in the first month, but then a fog came in and kind of blanketed the narrows,
01:11:12.000it's called, like the Hudson River, and George Washington was able to get all the troops, like 80% of the Continental Army we had, back across the water and into New Jersey, or else we would have completely lost and be speaking British right now, potentially.
01:12:12.000In 1846, Robert William Thompson, a 23-year-old engineer and Scottish entrepreneur, filed a patent in France for a wheel called a leather filled with air.
01:12:33.000You know, who would have ever thought, like, well, you know, it's hard because we need something that's durable, but we also need something that's got some cushion to it.
01:12:42.000Oh, how about make it hard on the outside and put air on the inside?
01:12:45.000Yeah, because you would think, you know, they made the wheel, they've had the wheel for thousands of years, like, just put leather on it, fucking dummy.
01:13:52.000Because you were hanging out with him.
01:13:53.000Yeah, see, it's a beautiful, like, circumstance environment thing.
01:13:55.000My guy like that was this guy named Scotty Karate, who lived in the neighborhood, and he was just a lunatic, old-school, alcoholic guy that you would give him a dollar, and he would do any trick you wanted.
01:14:53.000So those things compress, and it essentially has the same effect as the tire with air in it, but you can see right through it to the other side.
01:15:00.000Look at what it looks like in the profile.
01:15:03.000Well, like, it's weird that we're kind of living through the point now where it's like, even stuff from the 90s, which is, whatever, 20, 30 years ago, looks really old.
01:16:48.000But it seems like just the fact that you can never get a flat from a puncture, just like a simple run out of air thing, that seems crazy that we're still reliant on not running out of air.
01:17:40.000So even though it's flat, it's designed to have a certain amount of rigidity to it, a certain amount of give to it, and you can drive it for a long time.
01:17:49.000But those cars generally don't perform as well.
01:17:52.000And that's what I was getting to when I'm talking about the give of tires.
01:17:56.000Those don't perform as well as the tires with air in them.
01:18:43.000You know, it's like dorks get into, like, and I'm a dork, I'm saying to me, guys like me that get into cars, like, oh, the new one goes zero to 60 in three seconds.
01:20:22.000Fast forward 10 years later, we lose touch a little bit.
01:20:25.000He went to the Queen Center Mall, went up to the fifth floor, jumped off right in the middle, in the middle of a Saturday, just landed on like the Cinnabon cart, dead.
01:20:34.000And when I was reading the news, I got the chills because when I was, of course, to see, unfortunately, that a friend commits suicide, but when I was reading the newspaper article about it, that's how I found out.
01:20:45.000They go, you know, witness said, you know, this man, you know, whatever, 27 years old, jumped, leaped off the, um, Fifth floor of the Queen Center Mall and he was saying that there's little green men all over him and he just needs to get them off.
01:20:56.000And I was like, yo, that kid had schizophrenia or a major mental health issue when we were teenagers.
01:23:09.000And then he wanted her to go up to, like, a summer house or something that he had, I think in, like, Vermont or New Hampshire, up in that North New England area.
01:23:20.000And she, for some reason, just didn't want to go.
01:23:54.000And then, like, a week later, she's on the phone with, um, uh, Like I guess police or something from that area and she's answering all these questions like no he you know I didn't want to go and and all these things and I'm like vaguely hearing it and then she said he like got so pissed off that she didn't want to go like like he felt like rejection from her that he went and killed some couple just sleeping like in their cabin in New Hampshire Vermont and like my mom's like I could
01:25:25.000Her whole thing with, she's like, whatever people want to do, but she always says, she's like, I was trans before it was cool.
01:25:31.000She was like, so, she was like, here's the bottom line.
01:25:34.000She goes, you can say pronouns, this or that.
01:25:36.000She's like, whatever people makes them comfortable and peaceful, they should do that.
01:25:39.000She's like, but the bottom line is, she's like, when I'm walking past you, if I'm in high heels and a skirt, and you say, excuse me, sir, she was like, I'm turning around.
01:26:30.000But my 7-year-old and my 11-year-old, like, learned from him and her about the world, learned from Jerry about the world from that point of view.
01:27:05.000But the reason why is because she got to do prison time With Son of Sam, yeah, Son of Sam, Ronald DeFeo Jr., you know, the Amityville Horror House?
01:27:44.000Just like I don't live too far from where the Godfather house was, and I think that was demolished to you because it's like, you know, you own that house.
01:27:50.000You're like, I don't want fucking people taking pictures all day and everything.
01:27:53.000That'd be so annoying if you lived near the horror house.
01:27:56.000But she was saying that Ronald DeFeo Jr., she was like, when you talk to him, Same thing with Son of Sam.
01:28:02.000You would not guess in a million years what they were capable of.
01:28:06.000She said, Ronald DeFeo, the only thing about him, she said, you know, the sexual favor, she said she wouldn't cop to any sexual favors with Son of Sam, even though, like, we think, whatever, maybe she hooked up with him, maybe she's just not proud of it.
01:29:14.000Because when she came on my podcast and started talking about it, the documentary about The Son of Sam, which on Netflix, did you ever see that documentary?
01:29:21.000So it was about Son of Sam, but it was really kind of saying that, yes, David Berkowitz killed people, undeniable, but not all those people.
01:29:28.000That he was part of a cult that was running out of some place in Yonkers.
01:29:32.000And it was like this cult that was killing people, but the police at that time in that summer of 77...
01:29:38.000There was so much heat on them at that time from the public to fine this serial killer because he was terrorizing them.
01:29:44.000They were like, we got to pin all the murders on this guy.
01:29:46.000But there were more murders, similar fashion, after Son of Sam was already incarcerated.
01:29:52.000That the police wouldn't kind of, they tried to keep it quiet on the media and they wouldn't connect them.
01:29:57.000But there are really very strong evidence that this shit was happening.
01:30:01.000There was a cult and David Berkowitz was just the guy that took the fall.
01:30:04.000He was just one of them that did this.
01:30:07.000And Jerry was telling us that before the documentary came out, he was like, you know, the thing I learned about Son of Sam is that he didn't kill all those people.
01:30:15.000She would say, she's like, he didn't kill all those people, baby.
01:31:04.000And it's about this guy, Henry Lee Lucas.
01:31:07.000And he killed like 62 people, just random people across the country, just walk into a bathroom, cut their throat, stab them, walk out, act like nothing happened.
01:33:06.000From that point, it went to hell in the handbasket quick.
01:33:11.000What I'd been believing for all these years was Henry did it.
01:33:15.000There is not one shred of evidence to show that Lucas killed my mother.
01:33:22.000The police work was less uncomfortable.
01:33:25.000Well, not watch the whole trailer, but...
01:33:27.000So that's basically the gist of the idea of the story, was that he probably didn't kill nearly as many people, but he probably killed some.
01:33:34.000So I guess at that point you might as well, if he was already in prison for life...
01:35:34.000It's World War II. I think most people, if you're in a war, there's, I mean, whether or not you would perform well, that's obviously, that's a different story, whether or not you could keep it together under the insane pressure of gunfighting.
01:36:15.000I think, you know, obviously, the softer your life has been, the less adversity you've experienced, the harder it would be to do anything hard, anything difficult.
01:36:25.000And war is the hardest thing you could do.
01:36:27.000I was listening to some things like a very old man said.
01:36:40.000He was saying he feels rumblings of what it was like in Europe.
01:36:44.000Pre-World War II now, because he said, I feel rumblings of it now.
01:36:48.000He said, because if you would have told someone in 1930, if you would have told a Jewish person in 1930, 1935, even before Hitler came to power, hey, in 10 years from now, five years from now, you guys are going to be in concentration camps.
01:39:20.000Do you think it's truthfully possible in our lifetime, our children's lifetime, for an American Civil War or a World War III for real at a global scale?
01:40:06.000But this, if this happened the way this happened, and then another big event happened, another big event took place, and they blamed that big event, whether it's on the Republicans or the liberals.
01:40:25.000I mean, look at the French Revolution, you know, when Marie Antoinette is saying, let them eat cake, like, again, that was at the top of French society.
01:40:32.000They were, at that time, as good as they are now, and then what happened?
01:40:36.000They cut the king's head off because the wage gap is so big, and they feel that a little bit now, too, where it's like, poor people are getting really, really, really poor, especially now, and then rich are getting very, very rich.
01:40:47.000Not just that, but what about the supply chain problems where they're running on a baby formula and shit?
01:40:52.000That stuff freaks people the fuck out.
01:41:13.000I mean, this is why conspiracy theorists love moments like this, because they, instead of assuming that it's like massive incompetence and a series of events that causes a disaster, they just assume that, you know, they're trying to starve us out, they're trying to starve the babies.
01:41:29.000That's a fucking super complex conspiracy that would involve a lot of people keeping their mouths shut and doing something that's really evil.
01:41:42.000And then they have these jobs and they fuck this up and it gets to a point where they've made this disastrous miscalculation or a series of events have led to a shortage in baby formula.
01:41:54.000You see how fucking goofy people are with almost everything?
01:41:57.000Yeah, I think like, you know, just now as, you know, because it feels like this is like an age of like conspiracy where like science is more dominant than religion, you know?
01:42:08.000It's kind of like, as a matter of fact, Giannis, when we talked about this on History Anus, he used to say something I never thought of, but he's the one that mentioned it, where he was like, you know, there was times when religion is more prevalent than science and, like, kind of just gets stuck in the mud at, like, middle ages.
01:42:48.000Where they don't want to even examine whether or not things are—whether it's beneficial or non-beneficial, whether it's dangerous or problematic, because they don't want to run the risk Of like offending a specific group.
01:43:01.000Yeah, like that whole like thing where it seems like everything's black and white now, like where it's like you either do the things in the order or the person can't let you on when it's like, you know, the person who's in charge, you know, has to make an example of you where it's like we live in this gray world.
01:43:16.000Like my daughter was at a birthday party the other day.
01:43:19.000And we're in the amusement park, and you have to have wristbands.
01:43:23.000The kids have to have wristbands, right?
01:43:24.000And so all the kids are getting on with the wristbands, and one dad, the adults have to have tickets.
01:43:31.000And the girl, she had a wristband, but he also had another little kid who wasn't part of the party, and he had a ticket for her, but he didn't have a ticket for himself.
01:43:38.000So he was like, can I just go on with my daughter?
01:43:41.000You know, she really wants to go on this rollercoaster with her sister, but she's not big enough yet.
01:45:46.000Why are you communicating like you're a school marm?
01:45:49.000One of the best things I've ever seen in my entire life, and I'm so happy it wasn't secondhand, I'm so happy I was genuinely there to see it from start to finish, is I was flying somewhere, and I was in the first class section.
01:46:59.000She goes, sir, I'm so sorry, but, you know, there's money jackets in here, and I'm sorry, you know, we'll do what we can when we land, but, you know, whatever.
01:50:27.000And then the guy's just sitting there.
01:50:29.000And when the kid, the 20-year-old guy, said to the father, you know, shut the fuck up or whatever, the wife just immediately starts rubbing the father's back.
01:51:56.000They winds up, they take the father and the daughter off to get the daughter to, I guess, whatever more emergency place or whatever route they have to get her ear infection looked at and they arrested the kid with the broken arm.
01:53:00.000And I have a friend who works as a baggage handler in that section of the airport and said that the employee, I think it's United, is going to lose his job.
01:53:10.000You can't get in a fucking slap fight with a guy.
01:53:12.000Or even if you didn't get fired, would you go back to work after getting punched into the luggage rack and then getting up, stumbling around?
01:53:21.000How do you go back to your position like nothing happened?
01:53:29.000If you're at a job and you're in the service industry, which is essentially what you are, you're working behind a counter at an airport, and you wind up getting in a fight with someone, you got a video of it?
01:54:39.000Yeah, he still looks like he swung first.
01:54:41.000Yeah, it looks like he pushes him first, and then the other dude slaps him in the head, and then he takes a couple swings at him, and the guy moves away, and gets clipped a little bit, and then he hits him again and again and again, and then he steps forward and slaps him in the face.
01:54:59.000And then you see this punch land, and then another one, and now he's flatlined.
01:55:03.000But there was a lot of shit that went down before this that most people didn't see because the video that was going around was only right after the slap.
01:55:11.000What's interesting to me, though, is this guy, the guy who got knocked out, can take a punch and seems not to be afraid, but why, when he gets his opening, does he softly bitch slap him?
01:55:55.000When he hit his head that last time, it's no good.
01:55:57.000None of it was good, but it was like those punches that he got hit with before he slapped that guy probably had him out of his fucking head.
01:56:17.000Yeah, that's why the police always have, like, the real footage.
01:56:21.000Like, I have a friend, I'm sure you have many friends who are police, like, there's time, and probably illegally does this, but there's times where, like, a video will be on the news, and then he'll send you the real video.
01:56:29.000And then it looks like different stuff happened, or he'll tell you, like, a real story.
01:56:33.000Like, I remember, I remember in, it was, like, a big article in New York.
01:56:39.000It was happening, like, you know, like, anti-Asian hate, like, an Asian person, elderly person that got pushed over, and it was on the front...
01:56:46.000Paid anti-Asian hate, anti-Asian hate, which, you know, was unfortunately probably happening.
01:56:51.000But he, my friend, was like, you know, he goes, it's happening.
01:57:36.000It's like, I don't know what happened.
01:57:38.000He said, the law enforcement tells us the passenger was arrested, not the employee, despite the passenger's claim that he didn't throw the first punch.
01:57:46.000It seems like, at least from what we saw there, that the employee touches him first.
01:58:00.000You don't know what the fuck's going on.
01:58:02.000When I was in high school, if you had an altercation, like if you got into the first couple years of high school, I had an all-boy Catholic high school, and then they let girls in.
01:58:11.000But when they were just boys, and it was like a tradition at the high school I went to, if you got into a fight, like me and you were classmates, and we got into a fight, like just a verbal...
01:58:19.000You would go to the basement after school and a teacher was there to supervise it.
01:58:22.000They'd put on boxing gloves and let you like duke it out.
01:58:45.000So you get your ass kicked and then you have to fight them with gloves on?
01:58:48.000Well, by the time I got to high school, they weren't doing it so much anymore, but you saw where the ring was, and I was like, that's a crazy way.
01:58:56.000Bro, think about what they did with the Spartans.
01:58:58.000I mean, they had little kids fighting when they were little.
01:59:10.000I said that might have been, when you asked me to go back in time, that would be the only one I consider, other than the Revolutionary War, is to see that formation.
01:59:21.000The troops, they would do that in the movie 300. They would make that triangle and it was like impenetrable.
01:59:29.000I would love to see that, like Thermopylae, something like that, only to see if it's true or not.
01:59:34.000There's a lot of things that I was like, is it true or is it not?
01:59:37.000Because even like Revolutionary War stuff, they say when you start to do the research that the Declaration of Independence wasn't what the people wanted.
02:00:28.000And it was like, oh, don't you want – Don't you want to declare freedom from the tyrannical British?
02:00:34.000And most people were like, no, we have safety with these people.
02:00:37.000And then their story is like that they created, the Founding Fathers kind of created this myth and they created like this thing that people were like, all right, yeah, actually we do, fuck them.
02:00:48.000So I would like to see like, what's the truth?
02:00:53.000I'd like to sit down with a random colonial person.
02:01:05.000And just have them eating molasses, making shoes, just fucking talking to me, you know?
02:01:11.000And that's, I would like that, because we know what George Washington said, or we know what, you know, fucking any famous historical, I mean, it's written down, whether it's bullshit or not, but it's like, what did Joe from Massachusetts say?
02:01:30.000Because the top—you ever think about, like, the top scientist, the smartest—the Elon Musk of the day in 1700 just doesn't know anything?
02:01:41.000They were like, oh yeah, the earth goes around the sun.
02:01:50.000It's like, the top guy now, 300 years from now, then he'd be like, remember how cute Elon was when he used to think about that dumb stuff?
02:01:58.000I think by the time that happens, we'll be incorporated with technology.
02:02:02.000I think that's going to be the big leap with people.
02:02:04.000It's going to be like, there's a biological sort of a bottleneck, that biological things can only get so good so quick, whereas technological things can get good really quick, really easy.
02:02:14.000But if the technological thing can affect the biological thing, like, you know, you could have some fucking super chip in your brain that allows you to get 5G Wi-Fi everywhere.
02:02:36.000We said like 20 years ago, I mean, like, you know, we had, look at what an iPod, and we saw an iPod now, you'd be like, look at that thing, it's And now, but like, if you took somebody from, I don't know, 1600, and then dropped them off in 1700, not much of their life would look different.
02:02:52.000Like, oh, we still got ships, we got no planes, we still got disease, we still got the, maybe little things, but not, now it's like, you go in a coma for 10 years.
02:03:00.000When Jerry came out of prison 20 years later, he was like, the cars were going so fast, the phones, he didn't know anything.
02:03:07.000And that was just 20 years of being incarcerated.
02:03:10.000And I think about that, like, how fast can it go?
02:03:54.000And then from that thing happens, this one thing emerges that can change, like consciously decide to make changes to the environment around it to the point where it gets to the point where it can literally nuke every man, woman, and child off the face of the earth if it wanted to in one day.
02:04:27.000Things keep getting more complex from the beginning of the first wheel to this guy figures out how to put a fucking leather tire on it to what we have today to Teslas to some shit in the future that's autonomous and just rides on your fucking brainwaves.
02:04:43.000Tell it in your head where you want to go and it just takes you there.
02:04:49.000We look back on accidents as a tragic, barbaric thing of the past, like horseback injuries.
02:04:55.000If that becomes a thing in our lifetime, it's going to change everything.
02:04:59.000If you're not allowed to drive anymore, if these things drive you, and then if the government gets to decide whether they can shut off your driving thing, that's just one part of it.
02:05:08.000And what if you become incorporated with that thing?
02:05:11.000What if that thing becomes almost like an extension of you as a human being?
02:05:16.000Because you're electronically connected to it through it.
02:05:18.000Yeah, and then you might think like, oh, well then I'll be alive forever, but that might be like a tormentful thing, a tormented soul.
02:05:27.000The big fear with me is that someone comes to the conclusion, or nature comes to the conclusion, that emotions are problematic.
02:05:35.000Because although they create great energy, and emotions create things like love, And things like creativity and the passion that someone has expressing themselves in music or in anything that we enjoy.
02:05:53.000When Jazz Joplin singing, Take a Little Piece of My Heart Out, that song, you feel emotion in that.
02:06:01.000What if we decide that emotion is what's causing all the war, emotion is causing all the rejection, What if you could just interface with things in a pure data-driven way,
02:06:18.000where you don't have to worry anymore?
02:06:21.000Yeah, or that's also like, I think if you remove the emotion, that's how you get control.
02:06:26.000I mean, it seems like, you know, Hitler, all these people, they kill the artists first, they kill the creative people first, because if you can think rationally outside the box, then it's more difficult to control.
02:06:35.000That's why, when I'm actually listening to your, I think it was, is it Michael Pollard, Michael?
02:06:40.000That guy, I've been watching, going down the rabbit hole with him, because just randomly saw it, when he said he stopped drinking coffee, For three months.
02:06:48.000And then he's talking about the ayahuasca and something I never even thought of when he's like, you know, why are some drugs, like the drugs that can connect you to like that spirit molecule, the DMT, the ayahuasca, if then, you know, then, you know, maybe you don't fear death as much.
02:07:07.000Could be argued make you smarter and more intellectual more intelligent So like even maybe that's what happens if you get some top person gets power and they're like I can't control them when they're so smart and connected Well, let me remove their emotions.
02:07:19.000You know that's there's actually a book called the immortality key That's all about the use of psychedelic drugs in ancient Greece and how the authorities at the time the people in power at the time shut down and that the I think it was Was it the Pope?
02:07:47.000And so there's this guy named Brian Mirror Rescue, and he wrote this book called The Immortality Key, and he came on to talk about it.
02:07:53.000And one of the things they found was through these ancient vessels, like pottery vessels, that there was residue of psychedelic substances that was mixed in with the wine.
02:08:14.000It's a weird word, though, Eleusinian.
02:08:15.000It doesn't sound, even when I'm saying it right, it sounds like I'm saying it wrong.
02:08:17.000We should just pick a new word for it, just make it easier.
02:08:19.000But these people, like, intellectuals of the time, would make a trek.
02:08:25.000There to learn and to take part in these rituals, and no one knew what these rituals were.
02:08:31.000It's like it's hard to know exactly what they did.
02:08:34.000And when you read the sort of cryptic descriptions of what they're leaving out when they're talking about wine, we think of wine as being wine, like go buy a nice Chardonnay.
02:08:49.000It wasn't just grapes that were fermented.
02:08:51.000It was grapes that are fermented, but a bunch of other stuff.
02:08:54.000And they would throw a lot of psychedelic stuff like ergot, which is like a type of fungus that gives you an LSD-like effect.
02:09:00.000So they were basically tripping their fucking balls off and writing...
02:09:05.000Literally the foundations of Western democracy right they were coming up with all this stuff most likely while they were tripping right because and and and you know like when I watched listen to some other people like again I'm all new at this like the last couple of months is when I've started to really read this book because it's perfect for you because you love history and You you're also curious about this this subject read that book the immortality immortality It's opened up a field of study in Harvard His research has opened up,
02:09:32.000and one of the things that other people that work with him have uncovered in uncovering all this evidence, they've opened up this field of study in Harvard now where they're examining whether or not these psychedelic compounds played a big part in human history.
02:09:44.000But do you think, like when I listen to like a Graham Hancock, who again, I just discovered, you know, like, do you think though that like, let's say it's proven to be true that the psychedelics, they did do that and they have a positive effect, would the government make them legal?
02:09:57.000Or do you believe that the government Doesn't want that stuff out there because they know how powerful it is and how much better we could get as humans because of it.
02:10:06.000That's why I'm so kind of like thinking about doing it.
02:10:09.000I'm like, I think like you almost need that from, again, the brief research I've done on it and just really listening to experts in the field.
02:10:17.000Like, are you even a complete human and at the highest function form if you don't at least do that natural stuff that ancient people have been doing for years?
02:10:24.000I mean, one of the guests said that they give shots of ayahuasca to newborn babies in some culture.
02:10:29.000Yeah, I don't know if those cultures are doing the right thing.
02:11:17.000We're the same thing, but we vary so much.
02:11:20.000There's people that do things every day that you and I couldn't imagine doing once, and they do it every day with glee, and we're terrified of it, or we find it boring, or we're just completely uninterested.
02:11:32.000And other people, it's their whole life.
02:11:33.000You think you have to just accept who you are and not resist who you are?
02:11:37.000You gotta find who you are, cultivate who you are, and in some ways you can create who you are, in that you can choose to be better at things.
02:11:46.000Choose to be a better person, choose to be a better comedian, choose to be a better athlete.
02:11:52.000You can choose to be better at things, and you literally change who you are.
02:11:56.000Like, whoever Michael Jordan was before he played basketball, Is not the same guy that became Michael Jordan, the Hall of Famer, who's one of the greatest athletes of all time.
02:12:07.000He made himself, turned himself through will and effort and thought and hard work, changed who he is.
02:12:15.000Yeah, I read this, you know, I feel like, I almost, it's weird, like, the last six months for me have almost been like, do I have, like, cancer or something like that?
02:12:24.000Like, I have something that I don't even know about yet, where I'm gonna die, and these are, like, the last few years of my life, because I was just like, something just shifted in me, because I... I have two kids now, but when I had my first kid, you would think it'd be extremely impactful, and it was.
02:12:36.000But now, I've been reading, trying to read so much about, not even so much history.
02:12:42.000I do love history, but I've been trying to read other stuff.
02:12:46.000I just read this book, The Five Things You Must Know Before You Die by John Izzo, and he interviewed We're good to go.
02:14:22.000But then there's a lot of things I haven't because I was just – and I'm like, man, listening to these people, it's like just try – Safely try everything that you can and I wasn't like that like six months ago I was very like I'm just gonna do comedy that's what I want to do I'm in the comedy zone I do this and now I'm like into real estate now I'm into you know trying to get into even though I'm about to be 38 I'm like I can start MMA now I've always wanted to it's always been a thing in me like how come you don't know how to defend yourself I'm starting to
02:14:52.000try to do that I'm starting to try to you know get out here and like you know learn More about psychedelics.
02:15:00.000I almost feel like I can't stop myself from doing psychedelics.
02:15:08.000And now I'm like, well, if I take a psychedelic and my heart stops, then I'll just continue on with whatever the next part of my existence might be.
02:15:14.000The thing is, nobody could tell you what's going to happen.
02:16:00.000Because you could safely be away from an animal or something like that?
02:16:02.000Yeah, so you can hunt things that you weren't exactly close to.
02:16:05.000But it doesn't make sense that that would make your brain grow that fast.
02:16:08.000The thing that McKenna said was that if you look at the timeline of when humans, their brains grew, it's at the same time where the rainforests were receding into grasslands.
02:16:22.000And so when the rainforests were receding into grasslands, there was a lot of undulates, like cow-type creatures.
02:16:28.000And a lot of the primates came down from the trees and they would flip over cow patties and find like beetles and bugs and worms and shit to eat.
02:16:37.000And on the top of cow patties were often mushrooms.
02:16:40.000And he thinks it's very reasonable to assume they would have experimented with those mushrooms to see if they're edible.
02:16:46.000And one of the things you find when you do eat psilocybin, which is very common in cow shit, psilocybin in low doses increases visual acuity, which means you can see things better, which would make you a better hunter.
02:16:58.000And they've proven this with the, there was a guy, I forget the guy's name, but he was a psychologist that, I think it was a psychologist.
02:17:03.000And he did these studies on psilocybin and edge detection, meaning that if you took 100 random people and gave 50 of them psilocybin and 50 of them nothing, the ones that took the psilocybin could detect, if you had two parallel lines,
02:17:19.000if the line moved off the parallel, the ones who were on psilocybin could detect it quicker.
02:17:30.000It brings about a sense of community and creativity, and it might even encourage the creation of language.
02:17:35.000And his brother Dennis explained that, but I'm not gonna butcher that, but he actually explained it on my podcast, why the way psilocybin interacts with human neurochemistry would encourage the creation of language.
02:17:48.000So if that's the case, it's these primates experimenting with mushrooms, Accelerated our development far beyond what it would have been if we hadn't done that.
02:18:00.000Yeah, I feel like there's almost no way that those types of drugs weren't a huge impact in our development.
02:18:08.000I also think distractions were a lot lower, probably, back then.
02:18:13.000And like, you know, like Great Pyramid stuff, when I listen to all these great thinkers talk about it, I'm like, but also, like, maybe feats like that would be impossible now because of distractions and unions and this and that.
02:18:25.000But back then, it's like if I told you you need to get that brick in that right place or you're going to get whipped or killed, you would have a higher chance of doing it.
02:18:35.000Yeah, you'd just get whipped or killed.
02:18:37.000I don't think it was about, like, forcing people to do it as much as it is about skilled labor.
02:18:44.000They just have recently decided, I think it was within the last couple of decades, that those people that worked in the pyramids were probably well-paid.
02:18:51.000And they found camps, like the type of food that they ate, and they think it was skilled labor.
02:19:00.000But the problem is they don't have any fucking idea how they did it.
02:19:04.000The craziest thing about it is the technology that exists to move that stuff, there's no evidence of it.
02:19:11.000The pyramids were almost like, if you wanted to prove that civilization gets to extreme heights and then gets reset, you would have to leave behind something that would defy time.
02:19:26.000And the only thing that you're really going to leave behind that defies time is made out of stone, and it's huge.
02:19:32.000They made something that defied our current understanding of construction.
02:19:39.000Because if you ask people, could you build the pyramid today, there's a lot of people that will arrogantly say, yes, of course we could build the pyramid, of course we could do it today.
02:20:48.000And because of the Graham Hancock podcast and A guy named Randall Carlson who I've had on.
02:20:52.000I've been introduced to the Younger Dryas Impact Theory.
02:20:55.000And the Younger Dryas Impact Theory coincides with the end of the Ice Age.
02:20:59.000And there's a lot of physical evidence that somewhere around like, I think it was more than one time, but from an area of like 12,000 years ago up until like 11,000 years-ish, the Earth probably got hit multiple times by a comet shower.
02:21:30.000It's this shit that they find when they do nuclear test blasts.
02:21:34.000And it also happens when asteroids hit.
02:21:36.000So they found this stuff also in that same time period.
02:21:40.000So they're like, I think Earth got lit up and it probably killed a large percentage of the population.
02:21:45.000Do you think there are people in this world, in this country, like groups of people that know for a fact some of these things that we debate daily?
02:21:53.000No, they're trying to figure that out.
02:21:58.000You don't know for a fact what happened 12,000 years ago, but you could look at a lot of evidence.
02:22:01.000The Randall Carlson evidence is really fascinating because it literally coincides with the end of the Ice Age and a rapid death of a large percentage of animals in North America.
02:22:26.000Something around 65% of all the megafauna gets wiped out.
02:22:31.000Well, we might be in a place where we could, or at least our kids will know.
02:22:35.000Like when Lewis and Clark embarked on their Lewis and Clark expedition, nobody from America had been any further really west of, I think, Ohio.
02:22:44.000So they were like, maybe the end of the earth is there.
02:22:47.000They thought Lewis and Clark were fully, they packed tools like we might encounter dinosaurs.
02:22:53.000They genuinely thought like there's a possibility there's a brontosaurus out there because we didn't have any of this info yet and that was only 200 plus years ago.
02:23:00.000So we could be in this crossroads now where it's like because what you said too is interesting when you're like oh we always think we're at the height of society like you know in Lincoln's time or right before Lincoln like you know talking about like a like a president's sex life or or Were they gay?
02:23:35.000And, you know, another thing to take into consideration is how long the stuff that we have that we rely on on a day-to-day basis would last if we weren't around.
02:24:20.000So if we're going back to the time where we think they made the Great Pyramid of Giza, which is like 2500 BC-ish, somewhere around then, it's a lot of estimates.
02:24:31.000But that, who the fuck knows what they had?
02:25:12.000Because it's like, if that was a million years of being untouched, I mean, like, if we got an asteroid, it all got wiped out today, and a million years from now, there would be no evidence of anything.
02:25:22.000We would be miles underneath the Earth.
02:25:24.000So, like, why couldn't that happen in Mars?
02:25:25.000Maybe God is hilarious, and God's like, I got an idea.
02:25:28.000I'm going to leave behind a fake door on Mars.
02:26:03.000I think, because astronauts talk about it.
02:26:05.000They're pretty unanimous in it, that it's a life-changing perspective enhancer, that you see the Earth from above, and then the whole idea of, like, countries and war and, like...
02:26:18.000When you're like way above it looking down, you're like, oh my god, most of our problems would be solved if we didn't think in terms of borders and we didn't have groups of people that control massive groups of people.
02:26:28.000Because all they want to do is profit off controlling massive groups of people.
02:26:31.000Then you get totalitarian governments like China and North Korea and And then the people are fucking entrapped in this ideology and you're fucked.
02:26:39.000And you look up down and you're like, this is nuts.
02:26:41.000We got like hives of people that are living in these patches of dirt that think for some reason they have a dispute with people they've never even met, which is insane.
02:26:51.000I mean, listen, I love, you know, being an American, but I will, I will tell you like, Five years ago, my sense of patriotism was a lot stronger than it is now.
02:26:58.000Not that I love this country any less, but I'm like, it's stupid.
02:27:13.000It's not that America is awesome and only awesome.
02:27:15.000It's that if everyone had as much freedom as we have in America, the world would be a better place.
02:27:21.000And if we could get what is wrong with America sorted out, solve all the inequity, solve all the inequality, solve all the bullshit with horrible, displaced communities where they have no hope, fix these real problems that we have here at home,
02:27:37.000It's kind of crazy how much time we put into other things, like outside of America, when you look at how fucked some of the cities in America are.
02:27:45.000Or look at it, we're sending billions of dollars to Ukraine, Russia, and there's no formula on the shelves in CVS. I mean, I don't know where that fucking money's coming from.
02:27:54.000Like, I wish I understood how they allocate money to problems, because if you don't think there's enough problems in America to allocate money...
02:28:02.000If they're not paying attention to what the fuck is going on in Chicago, the crazy amount of gunfire that they have in the south side of Chicago, that is wild.
02:28:42.000If they have a horrible story that pisses everybody off, everybody's going to click on it.
02:28:45.000But don't you think, though, we're at a point now where I would blindly believe the news just right before the pandemic, I would blindly believe them.
02:29:30.000We don't get that from the one thing if you're gonna listen to Fox News or you're gonna listen to CNN you're gonna get Ideologically driven yes information right depending on who the source is which anchor it is is talking But you're gonna get it from the right on Fox.
02:29:44.000You're gonna get it from the left on What about what about if someone just tells the fucking truth?
02:29:49.000I agree those don't exist on television anymore not anymore No, I kind of, it's more on the internet or like these other places.
02:29:56.000Like, it's kind of like, you know, the CNN and Fox News.
02:30:00.000It's TGI Fridays, whereas like the best food is the mom and pop places.
02:30:02.000And that's where I try to focus if I'm going to look at the news.
02:30:06.000I've tried actually, though, I think, you know.
02:30:08.000There's an obligation, of course, to be informed.
02:30:10.000I think just being a person, being a comic, whatever.
02:30:12.000But I really, really, really, I mean, with, I would say most of my energy, you know, trying to lose that anxiety, most of my energy every fucking day, even more than physical at the gym, more than anything else, has been trying, trying with literally every cell in my body every day to get off or to limit myself from social media because I believe in my heart that it is as bad for you I've
02:31:45.000I can self critique and I can have members of my family or close friend group tell me something.
02:31:51.000I've tried to make a point now to make like a real fundamental decision to be like, I'm not going to let someone I don't know that I've never met influence my behavior or my mentality at all, including politicians or newscasters.
02:32:03.000I don't care because I'm like, I don't know them.
02:33:15.000But the point is, is that that's an incredibly Unusual position to be in, that doesn't exist in nature.
02:33:24.000Like there's one person and this person doesn't know all those other people, but all those other people are watching all the stuff that they do?
02:33:33.000Like that position, the position to be in, like a person like yourself, that's putting stuff out on social media, No one knows how to handle that.
02:33:43.000They can talk all that shit they want, but no one gets to that spot except the people who get to that spot.
02:33:49.000So whether it's you or whether it's fucking Giannis or Chris Rock or whoever the fuck posts on Twitter and reads all the stuff that people are saying about them.
02:33:59.000You're letting your fucking state of mind be influenced by untold millions of people randomly, which is not a good gamble.
02:34:07.000I think, yeah, because that's a good point, which, again, didn't think of.
02:34:12.000Because I only now, I mean, doing comedy, whatever, 12 years, but only now am I starting to sell out shows and theaters and get recognized.
02:34:31.000I think your therapist might be gay for you.
02:34:32.000But then, I've hooked up with my therapist.
02:34:34.000But then, on social media, especially when I put the special out on Netflix, because now I'm outside my podcast fan base, now it's like, Your comedy sucks.
02:35:11.000And, you know, there's good in that, and, you know, that can get away from you, too.
02:35:14.000I mean, at a certain point in time, you've just got to appreciate the moment of life and don't be even too self-critical.
02:35:21.000You only have so much time in a day, and the way I always describe it is this way.
02:35:24.000I said, if your entire consciousness, everything that you're capable of thinking of, is like a bandwidth, like you have a hundred units of these things, and then you take 30 units.
02:35:34.000I have friends that have killed a fucking vacation because they went on Twitter, they read something that someone said about them, and then they clicked on an article and read the article, and then wrote a response article.
02:35:47.000So they're in fucking Hawaii with their family.
02:35:50.000Their family's out by the pool, having a good time.
02:35:53.000They're in the hotel room going, oh yeah, well fuck you.
02:35:56.000And this guy is brilliant, by the way.
02:35:59.000It's insanity, the idea that people could think that that's healthy.
02:36:03.000If you are putting your staff out there, and you're clearly doing that, you're going to have criticism.
02:36:09.000You're going to have a certain amount of it.
02:36:10.000But you can't expect the normal mind of a human being Which is what you have and what I have.
02:36:46.000I'm trying to be proactive about it and be like, okay, if this is going to happen, if the career is going to go the way I want it to, then here's what I'm going to do to try to protect myself.
02:36:54.000The people that I know that are on Twitter all the time, they get in disputes that wound up keeping them up at night.
02:36:59.000They go crazy, and they'll tell me about it.
02:37:01.000You know, I couldn't fucking sleep, and then I got so upset, and I'm reading the replies, and I'm replying to them, and I can't wait to see how they replied to my reply.
02:38:38.000You hit that on the head because I, the people, I got a person in my life that I've I've never once in my life seen them apologize for anything or I've never once seen them when they get told that they're wrong.
02:39:11.000Man, there's no way that, like you said, there's no way that guy grows.
02:39:14.000I feel like one thing I want to make sure my kids always know how to do is say they're sorry and have the courage to admit, hey, I was completely wrong.
02:39:21.000More than that, this is what I tell my kids, lying in itself robs you of your ability to think about things and get better at things.
02:39:29.000If you choose to never lie, then it's off the table.
02:39:33.000Now, if you do choose to do that and you're dealing with any kind of situation, you can learn better.
02:40:20.000And actually, Benjamin Franklin said the reason why George Washington was the man who he was and why he was able to get the country out of the mess is because he was not...
02:41:34.000What I was saying earlier was what I meant by it when I talked about war, that everybody's kind of capable of it.
02:41:39.000If we all agreed that there's a group that's killing us and they're coming to kill us and you had a gun and they were coming your way, you'd shoot at them.
02:41:51.000Some people will freeze, but the vast majority of people, when they're confronted by some sort of a thing, they switch, and then that becomes life.
02:42:10.000I feel like the tribes stick together more than the races, you know?
02:42:13.000But, you know, I read something interesting the other day about World War II, about how a couple of battles in the beginning of the war, Hitler and the Nazis were very adamant about, we're at war, you will not have prostitutes, you will not eat bad,
02:42:29.000you know, you'll take a little Panzer Chocolat, a little crystal meth, and you will go out there and fight.
02:42:38.000And they said Dunkirk and all those battles.
02:42:41.000The reason why they lost, the reason why France got fucking rolled over, they say, is because they all had STDs.
02:42:49.000That's a Real theory that they all had chlamydia and fucking were just fighting with infections where the Nazis were just coming in there pounding just with full cocks.
02:43:39.000That civilizations get to a really, really, really good place before they fall apart or if they fall apart.
02:43:46.000And then I think somewhere around the time when they're falling apart, people start doing wacky shit to try to get things back, get their juju back.
02:43:53.000And so they start killing slaves and sacrificing them to the sun god so that they no longer had diseases.
02:43:59.000And someone tells you the problem that we're having in this world is we're not sacrificing enough.
02:44:18.000When we send people and you know they're going to die for an unjust cause because they're going to create wealth and they're going to control resources.
02:44:25.000In a way, they're sacrificing lives for a greater good, what they think is a greater good for them.
02:44:45.000But you're sending people and you know some of them are going to die for a greater good.
02:44:49.000Yeah well that whole idea too of like war and you know and again I'm sure there's a million reasons why it doesn't but it like it would seem like if I wasn't a human I was looking down it would seem like hey all you people don't have to die why don't you just get the one leader of that country who's mad at that country just have those two fight or have them both pick one guy to fight and the winner gets whatever.
02:45:08.000Can't have that because then you have the biggest strongest guy runs the whole world because he controls all the army you can't have that.
02:45:14.000You have to have people voting over stuff.
02:45:16.000The only reason why it works is because a group has a better, more ass-kicking general.
02:45:23.000Even the best presidents, even the best leaders and prime ministers, at the core of it, you're an egomaniac lunatic if you even want to be in a position to lead these people.
02:45:39.000Even a good president, if you want to be a nice guy, if you want to be a JFK or an Obama even, even though I loved Obama, but there's no way that guy isn't a fucking egomaniac lunatic if you want to be president.
02:45:49.000I think you can't be it without the other.
02:46:00.000If you're around all these people that you know are engaging in what is essentially insider trading, and they're all openly doing it, And they're all responsible for the law, and they're responsible for the way this country runs at its core, and they're just fucking raking in cash from all this fucking dirty shit that would get you arrested in other businesses.
02:46:20.000It almost feels like, I know we need people to lead, but it almost feels like in a way, and maybe I heard this from somebody, maybe it was Graham Hancock who said this, that we're almost outgrowing government.
02:46:31.000Now where it's like you don't need it as much anymore.
02:46:35.000Because now it's becoming like we're starting to like revolt a little bit.
02:46:38.000Well imagine if there was no boundaries on what a person could and could not pursue in terms of their religious freedom, what they want to do for a living, what they want to do sexually.
02:46:48.000If there was nothing, if that was completely off the table.
02:46:51.000That's an archaic thing in the past like burning witches at the stake.
02:46:54.000And then we realize there's a certain finite amount of resources on Earth, but when it's spread evenly, there's really enough for everybody.
02:47:02.000So we're just going to make a certain amount of food available for everybody, housing available for everybody, and we all work together to make sure that everybody lives at a certain level of life.
02:47:12.000Then the other things are just about how much effort you're willing to put in.
02:47:16.000But it has to be, if we know this at this level, that the governments and powers that be know it too.
02:47:22.000But how are they going to communicate that idea to everybody and have everybody accept it?
02:47:26.000We're stuck in this paradigm until people work it out.
02:47:30.000I don't think it's a function as much of a group of people that have decided to hide the truth that we can all get along together as much as they're just trying to control what they have And they're dealing with other countries that are trying to control what they have and arguing over resources and territories and laws that get passed and things along those lines.
02:47:52.000That's why I think, though, I really believe, in Mi Corazon, that aliens are going to be, like, not only are we going to find out that they're for real, for real, but they're coming.
02:48:04.000Because I think that's the only way we unite as a people is we got to fight something else.
02:48:08.000Now, I think who knows if we get demolished or not.
02:48:30.000I think that if If aliens do exist, and they have gone through a similar evolutionary process as human beings have, and one of the things that's interesting about that is there's a real good theory that psilocybin itself might be extraterrestrial.
02:48:53.000And they think that, well, they know that some, like we're talking about iridium, how iridium exists when they go to do the core sample of like 20,000 years and they get to that area where they think the impacts hit.
02:49:06.000Because they know that iridium comes from space and oftentimes exists in meteors that land on earth and that's how you find it.
02:49:15.000But other stuff gets there too and there's even this theory of panspermia.
02:49:19.000Panspermia is a theory that the organic building blocks from life or for life, like even amino acids, they could have come here from some other planet, crash landed and the chemical process begins, it creates life.
02:49:33.000Now, if that's the case, if they think that psilocybin can exist and spores, like fungus spores, can exist in a vacuum, they could conceivably be on a rock that lands on Earth in a meteor impact and spread that way.
02:49:51.000Yeah, because it seems to me that I could understand that being kind of a hypothesis that could be true because, again, I know you've done it before, but it seems when I – the research I did with the psilocybin, people kind of say – I keep hearing the similar thing that in different ways with mushrooms or ayahuasca,
02:50:11.000a lot of people say that they – Calm down a lot.
02:50:37.000Isn't it interesting that something that alleviates ego's control, alleviates you from ego's control, because one of the things that it does is it diminishes the ego when you take psilocybin, but also diminishes anxiety.
02:50:49.000Remember we were talking earlier that it might be a narcissistic thing, and you were saying that it might be a narcissistic thing to be so anxious?
02:50:57.000If that kind of seems like that may be a possibility for some people, obviously for some people, and I should be clear on this, we were talking about it earlier, some people have anxiety because they're mentally imbalanced.
02:51:13.000There's some chemicals that are off in the brain.
02:51:16.000The idea that something can come along that can alleviate your anxiety but also diminishes the ego is really interesting.
02:51:24.000Because how much of this mental energy that people put into thinking about themselves would be alleviated if they realized they were a part of something that's immense and huge?
02:51:35.000That all of life itself is experiencing it through these different biological filters, but that we're ultimately really the same thing at our cores.
02:51:45.000And that's one of the reasons why we freak out so much, or let me tell you something, I do.
02:51:49.000I freak out so much at people's flaws.
02:51:51.000I mean, flaws as in people that lie, or people that steal, or people that try to harm people, because I'm terrified in seeing those things in myself.
02:52:01.000You know, you worry like, oh, I could imagine if I grew up in the foster care system and I was in and out of jail and getting beat up all the time that I would become this criminal that I'm looking at right here.
02:52:20.000Outside of language, outside of your fucking childhood and your life experiences, the energy of a human is probably really similar in all of us.
02:52:28.000And it's just going through these different biological filters, different life circumstances.
02:52:34.000But if you lived my life, you would be me.
02:52:37.000And if I lived your life, I would be you.
02:52:38.000And that's probably the reality of people, that you feel when you're on mushrooms.
02:52:43.000So all the thinking about yourself seems less...
02:53:33.000I don't even remember which one it was, but one of those wacky metaphysical documentaries that was trying to say that everything in your life, including all the diseases that people have, everything is created by your own mind.
02:54:18.000It just doesn't experience, you don't experience it every day.
02:54:21.000So you assume because you're aware of the patterns you do experience every day, like driving to work, I see a certain amount of things, I'm around a certain amount of things, all that shit ends if an asteroid hits.
02:54:49.000We're pretty sure this Younger Dryas Impact Theory has got a lot of validity to it.
02:54:53.000It seems like it has a lot of evidence.
02:54:54.000It points to it being one of the possibilities to kill off a giant percentage of fucking animals on this planet and probably reset civilization.
02:55:02.000Yeah, we definitely are living extremely comfortable at this point in time.
02:55:07.000But my thing is, when people say that, it's like, but what am I supposed to do?
02:55:11.000Like, make believe that I lived in the 1850s?
02:55:13.000Like, I don't want to shit in a hole a mile outside my house.
02:55:57.000And the people that come up with pretty good ideas, like Saad Guru, like maybe some of the things that he says are wacky.
02:56:03.000You know, and then there's another guy that has some other interesting ideas, but maybe he sucks as a boss.
02:56:08.000You know, and there's another guy that says cool shit, but you know, maybe he lies about his last name.
02:56:13.000There's a lot of fucking weirdness to being a person.
02:56:15.000Well, I was going to say, and that I think is the slippery slope where it down now, or at least were down a little bit a year or two ago when trying to, you know, go back in history and remove certain figures.
02:56:43.000So when you have a statue of George Washington and then you hear about the good stuff that George Washington did, like what you were saying, is his humility to pull out and his smart...
02:56:51.000But then you find out that his teeth were all...
02:56:55.000Slave teeth that he had pulled from his slaves and made into dentures.
02:57:15.000It's fascinating because what I like is an author and what I've always liked.
02:57:19.000From an early age, I've always been like, I'm learning history here in history class in my high school or grammar school in America from the point of view of an American.
02:57:26.000I want to learn from America's enemies what happened.
02:57:29.000And then I can kind of piece together in my own...
02:57:32.000It's all recounting tales and it's all telling a story.
02:57:35.000But when the British got to colonial America, they were...
02:57:42.000On the floor astounded that there were slaves.
02:57:45.000That was the thing that was disgusting them.
02:57:47.000Like British soldiers, they have a letter, a letter of a British soldier writing back to his wife.
02:57:51.000He's like, he was terrified of two things.
02:57:54.000He goes, one, Massachusetts, the most Puritan, Puritanical place we had that was supposed to be the best people living in our country in that time all had slaves.
02:58:02.000And he's like, I can't even sleep at night that these people are enslaving other human beings because slavery was outlawed 100 years in England.
02:58:10.000And then he said, you know, another thing, and it's kind of crazy, and this hit me with German, because, you know, the British hired, you know, mercenary, Hessian mercenaries, German mercenaries.
02:58:19.000He said they ran onto shore, ran off the fucking boats, and started killing American soldiers and cutting their faces off and taking things as, they were brutal.
02:58:30.000And it's like, not all Germany, but then it's like that country's history.
02:58:33.000It's like, you know, all the way up to Nazis.
02:58:35.000And you're like, oh, maybe there is something in DNA where, like, tribes act like tribes, because even back then, In the book, they were like, Hessians were fucking wild.
02:58:43.000Jesus Christ, I didn't know that story.
02:58:44.000Yeah, but it was interesting because this soldier was saying, so that argument of, oh, they didn't know any better.
02:59:55.000Columbus in the 1400s, when they landed in the Bahamas or wherever they landed, they were 300 years more barbaric than the people in the 1700s.
03:00:05.000Well, dude, and then things lose their meaning.
03:00:07.000Like, you know, like I learned when I went to Charleston, you know, like one of the greatest comedy movies of, you know, whatever, the 2000s, I would argue, was Knocked Up.
03:01:28.000Awaken someone by knocking, the second meaning isn't wily, isn't America, it's still common in Britain.
03:01:33.000At this slave market, for sure, on this tour, they said that was where it came up from.
03:01:38.000The meaning, when a woman gets pregnant, she's knocked up.
03:01:41.000Well, maybe it was a common expression before that, and then they added it to this woman being pregnant with slavery because it indicated the same thing, that the price was knocked up.
03:01:58.000Like, maybe it was normal to say knocked up, and then it became knocked up with that on top of it.
03:02:02.000Or, like, even just two years ago, a woman who I know, one of my mother's friends, who was working at a hospital for 30 years, an employee came in, like, a new...
03:03:49.000Well, one of the things Native Americans would do, unfortunately, when they kidnap people is they would accept children because those children could be integrated into society.
03:04:36.000But they would let children join the tribe because they had a hard time with women keeping babies because all the riding on horses would have a lot of miscarriages.
03:04:47.000So they needed to keep their numbers high.
03:04:49.000So they would incorporate kids that they had kidnapped into their tribe.
03:04:53.000I mean, well, I mean, I guess, you know, too, like in nature, like that's the thing is like, you know, I guess because we have conscious thought and all that, you know, humans get a bad rap.
03:05:02.000But like I saw a video once of this zebra that was giving birth.
03:05:07.000And I guess the father that impregnated that zebra must have been killed in the course of the baby giving birth.
03:07:09.000He would go out and become a British man for the entire night and make believe he was British and hook up with girls all day every day with the British accent.
03:08:13.000Roger Federer, Roddick, everyone just walks around with a piece.
03:08:16.000One of my friends, he was stacking the ice on, it's called P1 through 7, practice course 1 through 7, and he started flirting with, I think it was Serena Williams.
03:08:24.000She was 16 at the time, he was like 17, and he says he made out with her Like, behind a dumpster or something like that during practice.
03:08:34.000We've never verified it, but he's a good-looking kid.
03:08:36.000I was like, yo, we used to see crazy shit.
03:08:38.000But one time, I was sitting watching a match, and this umpire, you know, up in his chair...
03:08:45.000Like, you know, 15 love, 30 love, like that, like prim proper, gets down, right off, as soon as the match is over, and is talking to his wife, like, he's like, hey, you know, is there gas in the car?
03:10:25.000I wonder, if I was going to talk to Noam Chomsky, I don't know if that's what I'd talk to him about, but if I was going to talk to someone who's a legitimate linguist, I would say, what are the contributing factors that leads to a certain sound that encapsulates the way people talk in a specific region?
03:10:40.000Because California doesn't have anything.
03:10:42.000California, if anything, has a little bit of this.
03:10:45.000There's an uptalk, but that's more tech than it is California.
03:10:51.000There was a time where I think more people have become so aware that it's so gross and fake that they don't do it as much anymore.
03:10:58.000But uptalk was a way that you could pretend that you were intelligent, and you were part of this tribe of really intelligent, creative people.
03:11:06.000You don't hear people talking like this.
03:14:00.000I was a three-year-old girl when the Indians were moved from this country to Indian territory.
03:14:09.000I have an indistinct recollection of seeing the Red Men as they went through the Woods, for everything was woods nearly at that time.
03:14:19.000I have a distinct impression if a three-year-old child can have it.
03:14:25.000Nevertheless, I've been here since that time, and I've seen the march of progress all the way.
03:14:31.000At that time, we had only stagecoaches, and we only had horses and buggies, and we had lots of foot-back travelers.
03:14:41.000Now I've seen it come along all this way.
03:14:45.000And a plane goes over this, over my house, going on its way, and it's got to be such a common thing, the old girl don't go even out to see if she can look at it.
03:15:18.000You know what's something I saw the other day?
03:15:19.000Do you know that the last person whose father fought in the Civil War only died like three years ago?
03:15:28.000There was a guy who was alive who he, the guy who just died, lived till he was like 100. His father fought in the Civil War when his father was like 15 and had him when he was 84, something like that.
03:16:01.000Dude, that's, I mean, it's why, because why when you think about like all this stuff that we think is so long ago, it's not really that long ago.
03:16:08.000Well, I had a bit in my act in one of my specials, my last special, where I talked about people think the United States is old.
03:16:13.000I go, but the United States was formed in 1776. People lived to be 100. Well, that's three people ago.
03:18:47.000Most people were, like, illiterate in, like, reading Latin.
03:18:52.000Like, who the fuck knows how to read Latin?
03:18:54.000Who the fuck knows what that's saying?
03:18:56.000So when Martin Luther came along and they gave, like, a phonetic version of the Bible that you could read and then told you to interpret it yourself, like, figure out what God said to yourself, it created a giant uproar.
03:19:16.000But now I'm like, when you listen to these, you know, people talk about, well, there was a mass flooding and the ice polar caps and all that.
03:19:22.000It's like, it didn't happen like that.
03:19:30.000I think there's probably a lot of civilizations that went under because of natural disasters.
03:19:35.000And the theory is that if you're in a regional area that experiences like a volcanic eruption, like Pompeii or something, but even before that, like even further back, a thousand years before Pompeii.
03:19:46.000No one has any fucking idea what happened.
03:20:50.000It's like, of course you're going to go fuck outside of it, or the fuck with the kid thing, I don't know.
03:20:54.000Well, this is horrific, but how come this one group, Catholics, are the ones that have to abstain, but the Baptists are allowed to have sex?
03:21:55.000Something then got reinstated in 1960. Would you want to interact with him or would you want to just be around and watch as like a silent, invisible observer?
03:22:32.000So like what you're talking about, Richard Ramirez or Henry Lee Lucas or fucking any of these serial killers that we know of, that's what the fucking king was.
03:25:04.000Heard's, quote, bruise kit comment sparked conversation among TikTok users, a number of whom asserted that bruise kits are usually used to apply the appearance of bruises rather than cover them up.
03:25:20.000As the second-slung video comes to its conclusion, it was further edited to add Heard referring to her makeup palette as a bruise kit before correcting herself.
03:25:52.000Why would either one of them do this, though?
03:25:55.000Why even go through this public trial?
03:25:57.000Well, he's doing it because she wrote an op-ed, which turns out she didn't even write the op-ed.
03:26:01.000Someone from the ACLU says they ghostwrote the op-ed, and the op-ed was about her being a domestic abuse survivor.
03:26:08.000And so that made Johnny Depp unemployable, because it made it look like Johnny Depp was beating people up.
03:26:13.000And that's how he got fired from the Pirates of the Caribbean, that, and also the fact that He lost another lawsuit in the UK. But I feel like this is even making him, even if he comes out on top, it's making him more unemployable.
03:26:24.000Because wouldn't you be like, I don't even want to deal with this guy?
03:26:51.000Because all these years, she's been this beautiful girl that says that Johnny, who does a lot of coke and likes to drink, was beating her up.
03:26:57.000I'm like, well, that's what people who do a lot of coke and drink do.
03:26:59.000But it turns out then there's recordings of her talking and admitting to beating him up.
03:27:28.000Where someone pretends that they were the victim and they were really the abuser.
03:27:32.000What happened was, I don't know about that specific thing, but my boys, I wasn't there.
03:27:38.000My boys went on a bachelorette, a bachelor party to Nashville and one of my friends Hooked up with a girl, just ran, you know, bachelor, bachelor party, ran them in Nashville, right?
03:27:48.000Next morning, doesn't, you know, barely knows her even, you know, but all consensual, all good.
03:28:25.000Even her own friends knew he didn't do it.
03:28:26.000This missing link was she was engaged and the guy found out that...
03:28:32.000Like, she fucked somebody the night before because she drunk texted or something, whatever the story was, and then went right to that.
03:28:39.000And then, so I'm not saying that, you know, that's just one specific story, but I saw it.
03:28:44.000He was like, dude, I'm going to like, he almost like, he was, I want to say close because if someone says they kill themselves, I don't know when they actually do it, but he was like, in the group text being like, I can't handle this.
03:29:25.000Dude, I fucking bombed a corporate gig three nights ago because in the front row, there was mostly white, rich people, and there was a, I think he was a gay guy, black gay guy in the front row, and he kept cutting me off.
03:30:10.000And then I finally said, I said, dude, the only way in 2022 I can get out of this being a white man and you being a black man is if I get on my knees and start sucking your cock, which I'm willing to do.
03:30:30.000So I finally say to the guy who's running the event in the middle of the show, I said, hey, Mike, did you guys wire the money already to the agency?
03:30:39.000Or am I getting checked into the show?
03:30:55.000As you know, corporate gigs are hard gigs.
03:30:57.000Yeah, but isn't it amazing that someone could be confident enough that they could do that and interrupt a show and yell shit like that out at you and know they're not going to get fired for that?
03:31:26.000I was like, I'm genuinely just trying to get out of this fucking alive.
03:31:29.000But it was like one of those, and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse, and nobody was laughing, especially the rich white millionaires were like, we can't even touch this.
03:33:44.000In the first game, the first time I saw Steve Cohen again since I bombed, it's a rain delay?
03:33:48.000Steve goes, why don't you get up on the mic and start doing comedy?
03:33:52.000For Citi Field, who's sitting there in a rain delay, angry Mets fans that were losing there just got knocked out of the playoffs, they give me a microphone in the fucking booth, like the newscasters booth, and I'm doing now, he goes, just start doing comedy, like make the people laugh.
03:34:07.000And now I'm bombing, but at least that one I couldn't hear, because I'm just in a newscaster's booth, just eating shit.
03:34:16.000Nothing, but my friends, thank God I have great friends like this, my friends who are dire Mets fans at every Mets game, were recording me bombing on the outside, and they graciously gave me that.
03:34:27.000Chris DiStefano, you're a funny motherfucker.