The Joe Rogan Experience - July 14, 2022


Joe Rogan Experience #1844 - Tom Segura


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 10 minutes

Words per Minute

188.68213

Word Count

36,032

Sentence Count

4,296

Misogynist Sentences

96

Hate Speech Sentences

53


Summary

On this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian and bestselling author Tom Brolley joins the show to talk about how he got his start in comedy, writing a best-selling book, and what it's like being a stand-up comedian in New York City. He also talks about what it s like to be a podcaster and how he balances it all with being a writer and comedian. It's a great episode that you don't want to miss. You can catch the full episode on his new podcast, which is on all of the social medias, if you search for it, you'll find it. If you're looking for a good podcaster, you won't get much better than Joe's and you're not going to get better than that. You'll also get a lot more insight into the world of podcasting and comedy, and a whole lot more! Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink, which is making great tasting drinks with twice the caffeine and fueling the world's best energy drinks. Don't Tell Mom: Caff is a great place to get a good deal on your favorite Monster Energy drink and get a discount on your next purchase. Caff has the best tasting frappuccino in the entire country, and it's one of the best in the best places in the whole country. Don't miss it! Check it out at Caff's online store! Joe Rogans Podcast by day, by night, Joe's podcast by night! Thanks for listening to Joe's Podcast by night. -Joe Rogans podcast by day and Joe's coffee and drinking coffee by night out at Joe's Pod by night by night? - Caff by Joe's Coffee Roasters by night Cheers, Tom Broders by night and a good time! - Tom Brodsky Joe's new book, Tom Brody's new novel, by Tom Brodie's new album, The Good Morning Podcast, and much more. Joe s podcast by Night, Joe s Podcast by Night by Joe s new book by Caff s Podcast by the Good Morning Show, by Tom's Podcasts, by the Crew, by The Good Life Podcast, by C. Rogan is out now? Tom's new podcast is out on all the good coffee and much, much more, and more!


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:12.000 Tom, you're a fucking author.
00:00:13.000 Not only are you an author, but you are a New York Times bestselling author.
00:00:17.000 Pretty crazy, man.
00:00:18.000 That's pretty crazy.
00:00:19.000 Yeah.
00:00:20.000 That's pretty crazy.
00:00:20.000 I know.
00:00:21.000 I really didn't think that would happen, to be honest.
00:00:22.000 It's wild.
00:00:23.000 You got a wild following now, Cal.
00:00:25.000 I know.
00:00:26.000 It's just, I remember that's the whole thing.
00:00:30.000 Once you have everything in, they start talking about the sales, obviously.
00:00:34.000 First is the work of writing the book, which is its own thing, and everybody's like, don't do it.
00:00:39.000 At least comics are.
00:00:40.000 They're like, don't fucking do it.
00:00:42.000 Everybody I know that's done it said exactly what you said.
00:00:44.000 It's a grind.
00:00:44.000 Yeah, yeah, it is.
00:00:45.000 What it is, too, is that for somebody that's out of schoolwork for so long, it's the thing that feels like going back to school the most.
00:00:55.000 Because you have deadlines.
00:00:57.000 You don't have deadlines in stand-up.
00:01:01.000 And you send it, and you get notes back, and there's blood all over the pages, right?
00:01:06.000 You're like...
00:01:08.000 And they're like, this doesn't even make...
00:01:09.000 How do you connect these two?
00:01:10.000 And you're like, I don't know.
00:01:12.000 And they're like, well, that's what you have to do now.
00:01:13.000 You're writing it.
00:01:14.000 And you're like, fuck, okay.
00:01:15.000 So it's just like, it feels like you're back to work.
00:01:17.000 You're back to doing work again.
00:01:19.000 How's your typing?
00:01:21.000 It was rough with the arm, with the hand.
00:01:24.000 Oh, that's right.
00:01:25.000 So I actually, I started writing this book...
00:01:29.000 I got the deal for it when the pandemic was like, just had to, when it was clear everything was shut down, so everything started in March, and then it was like April, May.
00:01:38.000 I feel like in that window is when I got the deal to do this.
00:01:41.000 And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to do any touring.
00:01:43.000 Like, they were like, remember, touring's like done.
00:01:45.000 I'll write a book.
00:01:47.000 I sent in like, I don't know, I sent in 10,000 words.
00:01:52.000 And then a little while later, I sent in 20,000 more.
00:01:58.000 And I remember that I gave it to the publisher.
00:02:02.000 And she took her time with it, you know, to do her notes.
00:02:07.000 I don't know how many pages that is, but let's say it's like 100 pages or something.
00:02:10.000 So it took a while.
00:02:12.000 So I'm just like waiting to get notes back.
00:02:14.000 And then when they come back, it's like right before I get injured.
00:02:19.000 So I think I'm then in the hospital, and I have an arm that doesn't work for a while.
00:02:25.000 And they go, how's the notes coming?
00:02:27.000 I'm like, I'm not doing them.
00:02:29.000 I can't write right now.
00:02:31.000 And when I finally did get to them, It took a while.
00:02:36.000 Some chapters you get notes on say things like, you know, just add something here and there.
00:02:42.000 And this works great.
00:02:44.000 Make this more clear.
00:02:46.000 And you're like, oh, that's not bad at all.
00:02:47.000 And you flip the page and the next thing is like just...
00:02:50.000 We don't know what the fuck this story is about.
00:02:52.000 And it's just like lines all over the place.
00:02:55.000 Lose this, add this, add humor.
00:02:57.000 Add humor?
00:02:58.000 Add humor, yeah.
00:02:59.000 That's definitely one where they go, this story is a good story, but you need to add humor to it.
00:03:04.000 Why do you have to add humor to a story?
00:03:06.000 Because you're a comedian.
00:03:07.000 Yeah, but you're also a podcaster, right?
00:03:10.000 Isn't that the best thing about podcasting?
00:03:13.000 Because you don't have to hit a very specific note.
00:03:16.000 You can kind of talk about anything.
00:03:18.000 Serious, goofy.
00:03:19.000 And you get comfortable.
00:03:22.000 It's weird because most comedians, you see it, are so uncomfortable with moments without laughter sometimes.
00:03:28.000 Mark Norman.
00:03:29.000 Oh, really?
00:03:30.000 Yeah.
00:03:30.000 Comedy!
00:03:31.000 He's not uncomfortable.
00:03:32.000 No.
00:03:33.000 He just can't help himself with the one-liner.
00:03:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:03:35.000 He just zings.
00:03:36.000 He's got like a file in his head that just comes flying out.
00:03:40.000 It does.
00:03:40.000 It comes flying out.
00:03:41.000 Yeah, I just did his podcast with Sam Murillo.
00:03:43.000 Oh, yeah?
00:03:44.000 Yeah, very fun.
00:03:45.000 We Might Be Drunk.
00:03:46.000 It's a great podcast.
00:03:47.000 Yeah.
00:03:48.000 But, you know, you see comics who also, on stage, I mean, obviously you want to get laughs on stage, but there's comics who can't even take a beat, a moment.
00:03:57.000 They get scared.
00:03:58.000 They get real scared, like there's not laughter right now.
00:04:00.000 And then you see people who really are super comfortable setting up those moments.
00:04:06.000 Gillis is great with that.
00:04:07.000 Yeah.
00:04:08.000 He's locked in.
00:04:09.000 It's one of my favorite things to watch in stand-up.
00:04:12.000 Because I really enjoy being taken on a ride, you know?
00:04:16.000 And a comic who's really masterful at pauses and leading you somewhere to then drop it on you, it's so fun.
00:04:26.000 It's a thing.
00:04:27.000 You've got to know when to do it and know when not to do it.
00:04:30.000 It's so interesting.
00:04:32.000 Jokes are kind of like songs.
00:04:35.000 Some songs, there's slow parts, and some songs are all just fucking hot for teacher.
00:04:42.000 I mean, I have part of my hour right now that is slower building, like in the middle of the show.
00:04:50.000 And if I'm in a late show and it's a chaotic crowd, in my head I'll be like, just skip that shit.
00:04:57.000 You have to pay attention to that.
00:05:00.000 And you gotta know that on a crowd like that, it's time to fire at them.
00:05:07.000 Late show Friday.
00:05:08.000 You have to.
00:05:09.000 People have been working all day.
00:05:10.000 They got up at 7. They went to work.
00:05:12.000 They probably went to the gym.
00:05:13.000 They got something to eat.
00:05:15.000 They started drinking.
00:05:16.000 And then they come to the show.
00:05:17.000 It's 10.30 when the show starts.
00:05:19.000 Out of their minds, too.
00:05:20.000 Out of their minds.
00:05:21.000 Sometimes they think...
00:05:25.000 They might be your biggest fan.
00:05:26.000 They're like, I'm here to see my favorite person.
00:05:29.000 And they're just ruining the fucking show.
00:05:31.000 There was a guy the other night at the Vulcan while I was on stage.
00:05:34.000 Everything's like, yeah, definitely.
00:05:36.000 Oh, no way.
00:05:37.000 That's one of the worst.
00:05:39.000 Don't do that.
00:05:39.000 Like, oh, Jesus, bro.
00:05:41.000 And everyone around him is like, shut the fuck up.
00:05:43.000 Yeah, you tell him, Joe.
00:05:45.000 That's what I'm doing.
00:05:47.000 Dude, you know what I just had happen at the show that I don't know.
00:05:50.000 I mean, this is so crazy that this happened at a show.
00:05:53.000 I'm in Baltimore and doing a great venue there, the Lyric.
00:06:01.000 And it's probably 30 minutes into the show.
00:06:07.000 And somebody says something, you know, it's a theater.
00:06:10.000 There's, I don't know, the 2,500 or some people at the show.
00:06:13.000 So, but somebody says something on like a pause, right?
00:06:17.000 So everybody hears it.
00:06:18.000 Sometimes you navigate whether to deal with something or not, and the bigger the rooms get, you know?
00:06:24.000 You ignore things.
00:06:25.000 This person says it like, why is Burt fat or something?
00:06:27.000 Because he eats too much.
00:06:28.000 I don't fucking know, right?
00:06:30.000 But my response was, Made other people go, oh, this is when we can...
00:06:35.000 Oh, no, I've had that happen.
00:06:37.000 Right, so they start saying other things, like podcast jokes or bikes and shit from other stand-up shows.
00:06:44.000 And I'm like, okay.
00:06:45.000 And then at one point, it happens, you know, like 10 people in a row.
00:06:50.000 I go, do you guys, do you want to keep doing the show?
00:06:52.000 Or do you want me to not do this?
00:06:54.000 And they're all like, yeah, do the show.
00:06:56.000 And when I say that, another guy...
00:07:00.000 Jumps in from the balcony with another comment, you know, like, do you like Old Bay on your crab or, you know, something like that?
00:07:08.000 And I go, I hope you die in a house fire or something like aggressive and rude.
00:07:12.000 And people laugh and I, you know, I just, and then I turn back and I do, I just continue with the show.
00:07:19.000 But moments after that, You know when you can, you don't even hear something, you feel commotion?
00:07:25.000 Right.
00:07:26.000 It's like an energy.
00:07:28.000 So I'm up there, and I'm moving on, and I'm like, what is that?
00:07:32.000 But I don't say it, because I just got through dealing with chaos.
00:07:38.000 But I feel it, and I look up there, and I'm just like, whatever.
00:07:42.000 And it kind of dies down after a moment, and I just keep doing the show.
00:07:46.000 So when I get off stage, I see Dave Okun, who you met, my tour manager who was at the party, and he's like, you're not going to believe what happened.
00:07:57.000 I go, where?
00:07:58.000 He goes, up in the balcony.
00:07:59.000 I go, oh yeah, I sensed that something was going on there.
00:08:03.000 He goes, a guy pulled his dick out and started pissing on people in the audience.
00:08:11.000 And I'm like, what?
00:08:13.000 What?
00:08:15.000 He goes, yeah, but, you know, what we learn is that he was aiming for somebody but sprayed a bunch of other people.
00:08:28.000 And the reason we know this is that one of the people that got some collateral damage is a friend of another guy I work with on the tour at Kier.
00:08:37.000 So he's like, yeah, my friend was sitting in that section and he goes, I see this guy pull his dick out, right?
00:08:44.000 And what we learn is, remember the guy that said the thing and I'm like, I hope you die in a house fire?
00:08:49.000 Yeah.
00:08:50.000 The guy behind him was like...
00:08:53.000 You don't fuck with Tom's show.
00:08:55.000 So he's on my side.
00:08:57.000 He's like, I got Tom's back.
00:09:00.000 And it starts to piss on him.
00:09:01.000 And it ends up pissing on a bunch of people.
00:09:05.000 And I go, wait, what did you do?
00:09:07.000 He goes, well, we all were like, get this guy the fuck out of here.
00:09:10.000 So then security comes over.
00:09:12.000 That's the commotion.
00:09:13.000 It was like people were trying to get security.
00:09:15.000 They thought that the guy who got pissed on was the culprit.
00:09:19.000 So they go to grab him.
00:09:20.000 And he's like, I just got pissed on.
00:09:22.000 Go get that guy.
00:09:23.000 But it takes them a second to figure it out.
00:09:25.000 And meanwhile, he gets out.
00:09:27.000 And as he gets up to the upper balcony exit area, he runs and he sprints outside and they don't catch him.
00:09:33.000 The pisser got free.
00:09:35.000 The pisser got free, yeah.
00:09:37.000 But he's on your side.
00:09:38.000 He's my team.
00:09:38.000 He probably just had to really pee bad, and he's like, you know what?
00:09:41.000 I got a fucking idea.
00:09:42.000 I'll get the heckler.
00:09:43.000 Yeah, I'll just pee on the heckler, because I have to pee anyway.
00:09:47.000 Because if he's getting it everywhere, that's a heavy stream.
00:09:49.000 That is a heavy stream, yeah.
00:09:50.000 Right?
00:09:50.000 He's just spraying.
00:09:51.000 Yeah.
00:09:51.000 I was at one of the Boston venues.
00:09:55.000 And they told me after the show, they're like, sometimes they'll tell me, you know, we had three ejections or 12. They'll tell me that after the show.
00:10:03.000 They're like, yeah, we had to eject the guy from the upper balcony.
00:10:06.000 He just, like, squatted forward and pissed on the floor.
00:10:10.000 So he didn't want to get up.
00:10:12.000 So they're like, everybody's like, what is this?
00:10:17.000 And then everyone's like, it's this guy who's pissing in the seat.
00:10:19.000 Jesus Christ, people are fucking animals.
00:10:22.000 They're animals.
00:10:23.000 Yeah.
00:10:23.000 Oh my God, that's so crazy.
00:10:24.000 One other venue, they said that a guy went, he left the aisle and then just went to the corner.
00:10:29.000 Like, just pissed in the corner of the theater.
00:10:31.000 And they're like, what are you doing?
00:10:32.000 He just didn't, he's like, I don't want to go out and miss the show.
00:10:37.000 So crazy.
00:10:38.000 Imagine someone doing that at your house.
00:10:40.000 I know.
00:10:42.000 People are out of their fucking minds.
00:10:44.000 That's one thing I'm not looking forward to about owning a club.
00:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:48.000 It's dealing with people just pissing in corners and stuff.
00:10:50.000 Mm-hmm.
00:10:52.000 Yeah, it's really a thing, right?
00:10:53.000 I mean...
00:10:55.000 It can ruin the movie theater experience when you're like, I don't want to miss this right now.
00:11:00.000 Yeah, you just can't.
00:11:01.000 That's the other thing I love about watching movies at home.
00:11:03.000 Yeah.
00:11:04.000 Pause.
00:11:05.000 Pause.
00:11:05.000 Go take a shit.
00:11:06.000 Come back.
00:11:07.000 Perfect.
00:11:08.000 Have you ever, I mean, I've done it before where I'm about to go on stage and I'm back.
00:11:12.000 It's been not on this tour, but I'm about to go on stage and I'm backstage and I'm like, fuck, I got to piss so bad.
00:11:16.000 And I'll just grab, you know.
00:11:18.000 Yeah, water bottle.
00:11:19.000 Yeah, I've done that before.
00:11:20.000 Have to do it.
00:11:21.000 Ari's done it in the studio a hundred times.
00:11:23.000 In the studio?
00:11:24.000 Yeah, he pulls out his dick and sticks it in a kombucha bottle.
00:11:26.000 He always likes pulling out his dick, though.
00:11:28.000 He loves pulling out his dick.
00:11:29.000 He did it the other day.
00:11:30.000 We had a podcast and he left to go pee, but he didn't pee in a bathroom.
00:11:35.000 He pissed in a whiskey bottle in the hallway.
00:11:38.000 And we got video footage of it.
00:11:40.000 Because we have cameras.
00:11:42.000 We have security cameras.
00:11:43.000 He's like, why are you filming me?
00:11:45.000 I go, no, no.
00:11:46.000 We're filming everything because you have security cameras.
00:11:50.000 The real question is, why are you pissing in my hallway?
00:11:52.000 He didn't see that?
00:11:54.000 Look at him.
00:11:56.000 Why couldn't he walk?
00:11:57.000 The bathroom's ten feet away.
00:11:59.000 Because he's awry.
00:12:01.000 That's part of his fun.
00:12:02.000 Part of his fun is he's just completely inappropriate.
00:12:05.000 The pull your dick out move is usually for having a real nice looking dick, a big one, or comically if you have a very small one.
00:12:15.000 It's like a fun move.
00:12:15.000 Like a Bobby Lee move.
00:12:16.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:18.000 So what has he got?
00:12:19.000 I don't know.
00:12:20.000 I mean, I don't remember.
00:12:20.000 I've seen it before, but I don't really remember it.
00:12:23.000 I dare to say it's not a memorable dick.
00:12:26.000 It's a regular dick.
00:12:27.000 Yeah.
00:12:27.000 It's not a bad dick.
00:12:28.000 No, it's not bad.
00:12:29.000 It's a pretty good sized dick.
00:12:29.000 Yeah, it's nice.
00:12:30.000 Got giant balls.
00:12:31.000 Big balls, that's right.
00:12:32.000 Yeah, they're crazy.
00:12:33.000 They like hang low.
00:12:34.000 That's really crazy, yeah.
00:12:35.000 Yeah.
00:12:36.000 Joey Diaz is the most ridiculous ones.
00:12:37.000 Yeah.
00:12:38.000 Seen Joey's balls?
00:12:39.000 A number of times.
00:12:40.000 Grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose.
00:12:41.000 Yeah, that's a good way to describe them.
00:12:43.000 And I've even requested them.
00:12:49.000 During the pandemic, there was a fundraiser for the store or comedy workers or something, and we were all on this Zoom with people signing in, donating money to them.
00:13:00.000 And we were like, hey, will you pull your balls out?
00:13:02.000 And he was like, I don't know, I need consent.
00:13:05.000 I need consent!
00:13:06.000 We were all asking, is it okay?
00:13:07.000 This is 2022, Joey.
00:13:09.000 I need consent.
00:13:10.000 So we all were like, please.
00:13:11.000 Everybody said yes, please.
00:13:12.000 And he was like, all right.
00:13:13.000 And he stood up, pulled them out.
00:13:14.000 Ten years ago, it would have been greasy.
00:13:16.000 He's serious.
00:13:17.000 Dude.
00:13:18.000 I know.
00:13:20.000 Donate now.
00:13:21.000 What was that for?
00:13:22.000 It was comedy store employees, I think.
00:13:25.000 Oh, after the pandemic when everything got shut down?
00:13:27.000 It looks like a bag of onions.
00:13:29.000 Somebody was like, go to the store and I'm going to make this soup.
00:13:33.000 Get six onions.
00:13:35.000 Yeah, like garlic.
00:13:36.000 Yeah.
00:13:37.000 Like big cloves of garlic.
00:13:39.000 It's crazy.
00:13:40.000 How do your balls get that big?
00:13:43.000 Well, I mean, does he go to the doctor?
00:13:45.000 No.
00:13:46.000 Who knows what's going on down there?
00:13:48.000 Mm-hmm.
00:13:48.000 I often wonder.
00:13:52.000 Him and...
00:13:52.000 I feel like him and Bert probably have the most, like, I don't want to know the results mentality.
00:13:58.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:13:58.000 You know?
00:13:59.000 They're like, don't tell me.
00:14:00.000 Bert got his blood worked.
00:14:01.000 I was like, oh, thank God, my liver panel's good.
00:14:03.000 Mm-hmm.
00:14:03.000 I'm like, how?
00:14:05.000 How is it possible that it's good?
00:14:08.000 He got a call, he said, from the cardiologist.
00:14:12.000 He was in a panic.
00:14:15.000 And then she goes, I don't know how you did it, but looks good.
00:14:21.000 Go celebrate.
00:14:23.000 Go have a good time.
00:14:24.000 He was like, you just gave me orders to do that?
00:14:26.000 Okay.
00:14:27.000 And then just...
00:14:28.000 I was like, she doesn't really mean that.
00:14:30.000 It just means congratulations.
00:14:31.000 We were talking about it today, like he is becoming the machine.
00:14:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:14:36.000 He's not Bert Kreischer anymore.
00:14:38.000 No, no.
00:14:39.000 He's now the machine.
00:14:40.000 He's morphed.
00:14:40.000 Yeah.
00:14:41.000 It's like how Andrew Silverstein became Dice Clay.
00:14:44.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:14:44.000 For people that don't know, the Dice Man was part of Dice's act.
00:14:50.000 Part of Andrew's act.
00:14:52.000 Andrew had an act where he has great impressions.
00:14:55.000 Dice has fucking fantastic impressions.
00:14:58.000 He used to do John Travolta and a bunch of other people.
00:15:01.000 You can find them on YouTube.
00:15:02.000 He does really good impressions.
00:15:03.000 And then he had this character that he created called the Dice Man.
00:15:06.000 And he would put on the leather jacket.
00:15:08.000 Oh!
00:15:09.000 And then it became his whole act.
00:15:12.000 It became him.
00:15:14.000 Sam Kinison, same thing.
00:15:16.000 He became the beast.
00:15:17.000 He even talked about it, how it kind of ruined his life.
00:15:21.000 Hunter Thompson talked about that.
00:15:23.000 He became gonzo.
00:15:25.000 He became this guy.
00:15:26.000 Oh, right.
00:15:27.000 They didn't think of him as just a journalist anymore.
00:15:32.000 He was part of the show.
00:15:33.000 Yeah.
00:15:34.000 And they always wanted him to be on acid and be drunk.
00:15:38.000 Yeah, I see Burt having some of that for sure.
00:15:41.000 Well, I mean, look at the massive success he's having doing it, which is part of the problem.
00:15:46.000 Yeah.
00:15:46.000 You know?
00:15:47.000 I mean, if you try to go on stage and not take your shirt off now, that's no longer an option.
00:15:52.000 Yeah, it's not an option.
00:15:53.000 It's part of the show.
00:15:54.000 That's part of the show.
00:15:54.000 Yeah.
00:15:55.000 And you got to tell the machine story.
00:15:56.000 Part of the show.
00:15:57.000 If you don't tell the machine story...
00:15:59.000 Yeah.
00:15:59.000 It's like not...
00:16:00.000 I remember...
00:16:04.000 Early on, when he started to really move tickets, and I was like, do you have to tell the machine story?
00:16:12.000 I go, you don't have to.
00:16:13.000 You can do whatever you want.
00:16:14.000 He was like, no, I kind of have to.
00:16:16.000 And I go, you don't.
00:16:18.000 And then I went, I saw him at a show, and I was like, oh no, you have to.
00:16:23.000 They really want to hear it.
00:16:24.000 How long is that story?
00:16:27.000 He can do different length versions of it.
00:16:30.000 He can do a shorter version where if he has to rush through it, I think he can do it in 10 or something.
00:16:40.000 But he can do it as long as 22 or 25. We were talking about it yesterday on the podcast with Simpson.
00:16:46.000 I convinced him to do that on stage.
00:16:48.000 Bert?
00:16:49.000 Yeah.
00:16:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:50.000 He gives you full credit.
00:16:51.000 He never wanted it.
00:16:52.000 He was like, I can't do it on stage.
00:16:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:16:54.000 I'm like, the fuck?
00:16:54.000 You can't.
00:16:55.000 You have to.
00:16:56.000 But it's just crazy that this thing that he's most known for that is literally his personality now.
00:17:02.000 Mm-hmm.
00:17:03.000 He didn't want to tell on stage.
00:17:04.000 It's hilarious.
00:17:05.000 I know.
00:17:06.000 Sometimes, like, your friend has to see it.
00:17:08.000 Yeah.
00:17:09.000 You know, like, I've had conversations with Tony about his act, you know, and I point something out, and he's like, dude, you were right.
00:17:14.000 I'm like, I'm telling you, sometimes your friends notice something that you don't notice.
00:17:19.000 It's just a...
00:17:19.000 Tags.
00:17:20.000 Yeah!
00:17:21.000 You know, tags are crazy.
00:17:22.000 I mean...
00:17:23.000 The thing is, you get suggested bad tags, you know, by people.
00:17:28.000 So sometimes you get off stage and someone's like, you should say this.
00:17:32.000 And, you know, for the most part you go like, oh, thanks.
00:17:34.000 And you're like, that was fucking terrible.
00:17:36.000 The worst is when a non-comic tries to offer you suggestions with a bit.
00:17:40.000 Shut up.
00:17:42.000 It's like saying to a surgeon, why don't you stitch it like XXXX? Just don't go straight across, but go back and forth and be tighter.
00:17:50.000 Sure.
00:17:51.000 Yeah.
00:17:51.000 Some people go, I'll send you some stuff that I think would work for you.
00:17:56.000 I've had non-solicited stuff sent to me.
00:17:59.000 I don't even read it.
00:18:01.000 The last thing I want to do is read something and I have a parallel idea that I've already started working on and I read it in this thing and then I go, oh god.
00:18:10.000 I read this guy's thing and I have a thing that's on the same subject.
00:18:14.000 You know?
00:18:15.000 Yeah.
00:18:16.000 Now some fucking schizophrenic thinks that you're stealing his act.
00:18:19.000 Oh yeah.
00:18:20.000 I mean, that's a big one.
00:18:22.000 And they'll also, you know, they'll suggest ideas.
00:18:28.000 They'll go, I have jokes for you.
00:18:30.000 I'll do the thing too where I've...
00:18:32.000 You ever do a set and then you see another comic doing a set and they...
00:18:38.000 Have a bit that you didn't do in the club set, right?
00:18:43.000 But it's in your act, and they do a similar thing.
00:18:45.000 I'll tell them.
00:18:46.000 I've gone up to them and been like, hey, just so you know, that bit you just did, I want you to know because you saw me here tonight that I have a bit about that.
00:18:54.000 So you know I didn't get it from you here tonight.
00:18:57.000 Right.
00:18:58.000 And then you have guys that come up to you and go, just so you know, I have a similar bit.
00:19:02.000 And they have a reputation for stealing.
00:19:04.000 And you're like, do you really?
00:19:07.000 How convenient that you found a new way to do my bit.
00:19:10.000 It seems like yours.
00:19:13.000 The worst is when a guy is opening for you, and then has new jokes on the same subjects.
00:19:19.000 That happened to two friends of mine.
00:19:21.000 One guy is the opening act, and the other guy is the guy who takes him on the road.
00:19:26.000 And he was on stage, and he was doing this bit, and my friend who takes him on the road had his mouth open like, ah, he's fucking stepping on my material.
00:19:39.000 Like, totally stepping on the subject matter.
00:19:41.000 And I had to pull him aside.
00:19:43.000 I go, hey man, you know he does that bit.
00:19:46.000 And just because you're doing a different bit, kinda, you're doing it on the exact same subject and you're his opening act.
00:19:54.000 You can't do it.
00:19:55.000 You can't do that.
00:19:56.000 No.
00:19:56.000 The way to do it is if you're the opener, you just have a conversation with the headliner of that show.
00:20:07.000 And you just go, are you doing XYZ? Well, I don't think you have to do that if they hire you.
00:20:12.000 Like, if you're a middle act at a comedy club, and you're supposed to go up and you do your act, you just fucking do your set.
00:20:21.000 You do, but if you then see the headliner have a topic or the thing that's similar to yours, you either...
00:20:32.000 Just know not to do it, or you talk to him about it, you know?
00:20:36.000 You brought me to do a Vegas show, and I was like, hey, are you doing anything in these?
00:20:43.000 And you're like, I am doing this story.
00:20:44.000 I'm going to open with this.
00:20:45.000 So I was like, oh, okay.
00:20:46.000 I just dropped...
00:20:47.000 Yeah, but you and I are friends.
00:20:49.000 Like, imagine if someone was a headliner and they kind of suck, and you're, like, trying to become a headliner, and you're a middle act.
00:20:54.000 You might be like, fuck you, and fuck your premises.
00:20:57.000 The club hired me to do my time.
00:20:59.000 Yeah, but it is, I mean, I just believe in, like, if you're middle, your support.
00:21:04.000 You should embrace that role.
00:21:06.000 Yeah.
00:21:07.000 Callan had a conversation with someone once.
00:21:09.000 He had this guy at Midland for him, and the guy was tanking the show.
00:21:15.000 The guy was talking to the audience, but kind of tanking the show.
00:21:20.000 And he said to him, he goes, hey man, why are you doing that?
00:21:23.000 The other set, you were doing jokes, and now you're like...
00:21:26.000 He goes, I can do whatever the fuck I want.
00:21:27.000 He goes, no, no, you can't.
00:21:28.000 Now, if you do that, you're not going to open for me anymore.
00:21:31.000 It's like, you're actually, you're working for me right now.
00:21:33.000 Right.
00:21:34.000 Like, if you do that, I don't want you to work for me anymore.
00:21:37.000 He's like, man, my time on stage is my time on stage.
00:21:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:21:41.000 Bye.
00:21:42.000 Bye.
00:21:42.000 Yeah.
00:21:42.000 Yeah, let's get somebody else.
00:21:43.000 And it was like a big to-do.
00:21:45.000 Yeah.
00:21:46.000 But people don't, people that aren't, like, sometimes people have like mental breakdowns and they don't want to do their best anymore.
00:21:52.000 Or maybe they just, you know, sometimes just the grind of repeated shows can fuck with your perspective.
00:21:59.000 There's times where I'm like a little tired and I have to remind myself Jesus fucking Christ Rogan Do you know how goddamn lucky you are just to be here to be doing this if you couldn't do this like imagine I also try to remember how I felt just recently being able to do shows after the pandemic While we were doing shows,
00:22:17.000 I was like, holy shit, we're back!
00:22:19.000 We're fucking back!
00:22:20.000 We're back!
00:22:21.000 The first time we did shows was in the middle of everything.
00:22:25.000 It was July of 2020. We did the Houston Improv, because Texas doesn't give a fuck.
00:22:29.000 That's right.
00:22:30.000 Everybody had masks on.
00:22:32.000 Some of them were under their nose.
00:22:33.000 It was wild.
00:22:35.000 Like, everybody was just basically risking COVID. Yeah, to do that.
00:22:38.000 But the feeling of crushing again was so wild.
00:22:42.000 Do you remember, you must remember, when we did, it was a year ago this week, July 4th week of last year, we did MGM Arena.
00:22:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:22:51.000 And that was the first time Vegas was open again?
00:22:54.000 Yes.
00:22:55.000 Like, fully open?
00:22:56.000 Yes.
00:22:57.000 That crowd, those introductions, were insanity.
00:23:01.000 Insanity.
00:23:01.000 And then COVID kicked in hard again after that, because then the Delta kicked in.
00:23:06.000 And then I wound up getting COVID. That's right, yeah.
00:23:08.000 Yeah.
00:23:09.000 That was extreme.
00:23:11.000 That was like, people were like, holy fuck, it's back.
00:23:14.000 Yeah, that really was.
00:23:15.000 That was not a normal one.
00:23:16.000 What a show that was, too.
00:23:17.000 Donnell, you, me, Dave.
00:23:19.000 Fuck, that was amazing.
00:23:20.000 I'm there Friday night.
00:23:21.000 Oh, nice.
00:23:22.000 Same place.
00:23:23.000 Yeah, that's a great venue.
00:23:24.000 I'm fucking pumped.
00:23:25.000 It's Hans Kim, Tony, me, and Brian Simpson.
00:23:29.000 Oh, wow.
00:23:30.000 This Friday?
00:23:31.000 Friday night.
00:23:32.000 Tomorrow?
00:23:32.000 Tomorrow, yeah.
00:23:33.000 I'm here all weekend.
00:23:34.000 Are you really?
00:23:35.000 What are you doing?
00:23:36.000 I'm doing ACL. Oh, nice.
00:23:37.000 I got four there.
00:23:38.000 Home gig.
00:23:39.000 Home gig.
00:23:39.000 It's nice.
00:23:40.000 Sleep at the house.
00:23:42.000 It's pretty great.
00:23:43.000 Dude, you're going so hard.
00:23:44.000 It is.
00:23:46.000 It's wild.
00:23:47.000 I don't know anybody who's doing a tour like you.
00:23:49.000 I've never done anything like that.
00:23:51.000 Nah, I've never even honestly heard of it, totally.
00:23:55.000 I mean, people, we tour aggressively, but this is kind of other level.
00:23:59.000 The name of it, though, is amazing.
00:24:01.000 I'm coming everywhere.
00:24:02.000 That's what you're doing.
00:24:05.000 And we haven't even announced the final leg.
00:24:09.000 That is so crazy.
00:24:10.000 You have more legs.
00:24:11.000 Yeah.
00:24:12.000 So we have everything announced through this year domestically.
00:24:17.000 I do so many.
00:24:19.000 So the tour started in 21, right?
00:24:22.000 And just in 22, this year I'll do 198 shows.
00:24:27.000 Oh my god!
00:24:28.000 And I did, I think, because I started in August of 21, I think I did 70-something between August and December of last year.
00:24:35.000 And then I do Australia-New Zealand in January, and then I announce the final leg, which is more international shows.
00:24:43.000 Are you doing mostly theaters, mostly arenas?
00:24:47.000 Are you doing like half and half?
00:24:48.000 It's a lot of theaters, and then the arenas have started to increase.
00:24:54.000 So I started to do a couple.
00:24:57.000 I have a few Canadian arenas, and then I'm doing...
00:25:01.000 I have a big...
00:25:03.000 I'm doing two ball arenas in Denver, July 23rd and 24th.
00:25:07.000 Nice.
00:25:07.000 So that's big.
00:25:09.000 Double.
00:25:10.000 Double arenas.
00:25:10.000 Double arena.
00:25:11.000 Mohegan Sun Arena.
00:25:13.000 And we have a couple others on the books.
00:25:16.000 Denver's fucking great.
00:25:17.000 That's my fucking...
00:25:19.000 I love Denver.
00:25:20.000 It really is.
00:25:20.000 I love that town.
00:25:22.000 I think, I mean, if I wasn't settled here, if you used to go, where do you want to live?
00:25:26.000 I would live in Denver.
00:25:28.000 I really like it.
00:25:29.000 If I was going to pick up and move, I think, the thing about Denver is there's comedy.
00:25:36.000 Yeah.
00:25:36.000 And there's mountains.
00:25:38.000 I mean, it's gorgeous.
00:25:39.000 It's gorgeous.
00:25:40.000 You get proper four seasons, you know?
00:25:43.000 Yep.
00:25:43.000 You get to experience it all.
00:25:44.000 Great restaurants.
00:25:45.000 Great restaurants.
00:25:46.000 People are cool as shit.
00:25:48.000 Yeah, it's a really nice mix of everything.
00:25:51.000 The homeless thing's out of control there, though.
00:25:53.000 In Denver?
00:25:53.000 Yeah, they have a very liberal mayor, and they're nuts.
00:25:57.000 What did we do with them here?
00:25:58.000 We killed them.
00:25:59.000 Did we throw them in the river?
00:26:01.000 No, the river's not gonna get polluted by homeless people.
00:26:04.000 I remember when I got here, the library, like on Cesar Chavez, was...
00:26:10.000 Totally taken over.
00:26:12.000 Completely taken over.
00:26:13.000 One day you drive by and you're like, what happened here?
00:26:16.000 They did a good job.
00:26:17.000 They fixed it.
00:26:18.000 They brought them into shelters.
00:26:20.000 They bought hotels.
00:26:22.000 They spent a lot of money and they cleaned it up.
00:26:24.000 And they cleaned it up substantially.
00:26:27.000 Like no other city that I've ever been a part of.
00:26:29.000 And it was just a great relief that this city is doing the right thing.
00:26:33.000 Yeah.
00:26:33.000 They got them shelter.
00:26:35.000 They took care of them, you know, and they moved them out of the streets.
00:26:39.000 You can't litter on the street.
00:26:41.000 Right.
00:26:42.000 You also can't camp there.
00:26:43.000 Sure.
00:26:43.000 Both those things are true.
00:26:45.000 But you have to have a solution, right?
00:26:46.000 You can't just be like, well, you can't do this and we have nothing, no option for you.
00:26:49.000 Right.
00:26:50.000 No, they did a good job.
00:26:51.000 Yeah.
00:26:51.000 They really did.
00:26:52.000 I did notice, because I was in LA last week, because I was always kind of floored by the location of it, right?
00:26:59.000 Which I don't know how that would sound to some people, but just when you...
00:27:02.000 Like, there's always been a homeless presence downtown, for instance.
00:27:07.000 Downtown Los Angeles, you just go...
00:27:09.000 This is like a lot of major cities downtowns, and there's a presence here.
00:27:14.000 And then, you know, you always had it in Venice, for instance, also, right?
00:27:18.000 That was just like an area you would always have homelessness.
00:27:22.000 But there was a camp set up in Brentwood, which I was like, wow, this feels like a real...
00:27:28.000 Indication of the extreme level of this.
00:27:32.000 Because Brentwood, for somebody that doesn't know, is one of the enclaves of Los Angeles that is just really high-end.
00:27:39.000 It's an elite...
00:27:39.000 It's where O.J. killed his wife.
00:27:41.000 O.J. killed his wife there.
00:27:42.000 Other people have died there.
00:27:44.000 It's a wonderful area.
00:27:45.000 And...
00:27:46.000 But it is, I mean, it is like a status area to live in.
00:27:50.000 Yeah.
00:27:51.000 And you would drive, you take this off of, I think off San Vicente, and there's the military cemetery there, and the camp was all along there as the road turned, and it was just like...
00:28:03.000 Out of control.
00:28:04.000 Out of control.
00:28:05.000 They've given up.
00:28:06.000 Yeah, but that one's gone now.
00:28:08.000 That one's gone?
00:28:09.000 That one's gone.
00:28:10.000 Really?
00:28:10.000 That's what I was very surprised by.
00:28:11.000 I don't know where people relocated to, if they did any of the things we were talking about, but that one, at least when I went through that day, I was expecting it.
00:28:19.000 I was like, oh, it's gone.
00:28:21.000 I don't know where it went.
00:28:22.000 They have porta-potties in the underpasses now.
00:28:25.000 They do?
00:28:26.000 Yep.
00:28:27.000 Holy shit.
00:28:28.000 I went to LA for a couple days last week for your wife's birthday party.
00:28:33.000 That was a good fucking time.
00:28:35.000 It was fun.
00:28:35.000 That was a good time.
00:28:36.000 I got a little too high.
00:28:37.000 Sure did I. Daddy got a little too high.
00:28:40.000 Woo!
00:28:41.000 I was in that.
00:28:42.000 Blistered.
00:28:42.000 I was in that.
00:28:43.000 She asked me, she's like, where have you been?
00:28:44.000 I was like, just getting high in the fucking- Yeah, we were high as fuck.
00:28:47.000 On the balcony.
00:28:48.000 Yeah, we were high as fuck.
00:28:50.000 But it was fun.
00:28:51.000 It was just a fun party.
00:28:53.000 But anyway, while we were driving to there, we ate at Mother Wolf.
00:28:59.000 You ever eat at Mother Wolf?
00:29:00.000 It's a fucking new place in LA that's run by the same head chef as Felix in Venice.
00:29:07.000 Yeah.
00:29:08.000 Fuck.
00:29:09.000 Really.
00:29:09.000 It's just as good as Felix.
00:29:11.000 Where is Mother Wolf?
00:29:12.000 Mother Wolf is on...
00:29:16.000 Wilcox, thank you.
00:29:17.000 So proper Hollywood.
00:29:18.000 Yeah, Hollywood, Hollywood.
00:29:19.000 Anyway, so we take the off-ramp, and then we're on the underpass, and there's porta-potties.
00:29:25.000 Not one, either, like four, like a deck of porta-potties.
00:29:28.000 And then someone has a car parked there on the sidewalk, like partly on the sidewalk, so they're like half-blocking a lane, and then they have like a canopy draped over their car, and they have stacks of shit, and then next to it was a dresser.
00:29:43.000 They had a dresser.
00:29:44.000 Jesus.
00:29:45.000 So they had their shoes in a shoe rack.
00:29:47.000 There was a shoe rack.
00:29:49.000 This is where they live.
00:29:50.000 That's really wild.
00:29:52.000 I didn't know also that when you see stuff like that on the streets, at least in Los Angeles or maybe in California, that's protected property.
00:30:03.000 Like by law.
00:30:04.000 You know that?
00:30:05.000 So you're not supposed to do that.
00:30:07.000 But that's that person's property by law.
00:30:11.000 Oh, the homeless person's property is protected?
00:30:13.000 Yes.
00:30:13.000 Absolutely.
00:30:15.000 Huh.
00:30:15.000 If you were to go and try to move that or take that- You'd get arrested.
00:30:19.000 Yeah.
00:30:19.000 Yeah.
00:30:20.000 Hilarious.
00:30:21.000 But they wouldn't arrest you if you shot somebody.
00:30:23.000 Maybe you should just go and shoot the homeless people.
00:30:25.000 I like your ideas.
00:30:26.000 Yeah.
00:30:27.000 And if nobody claims it, I mean, nobody does anything about violent crime in LA anymore.
00:30:31.000 It's a fucking joke.
00:30:33.000 Yeah.
00:30:33.000 They're just letting people out.
00:30:35.000 You know?
00:30:36.000 That guy that killed Ted Sarandos' mother-in-law, he had just gotten out.
00:30:40.000 Really?
00:30:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:42.000 Real piece of shit.
00:30:43.000 Yeah, just people that are just full-on career criminals, And it's bad.
00:30:49.000 I just read about the guy that he killed a subway worker, you saw that, over too much mayo?
00:30:55.000 Yep.
00:30:55.000 He had just gotten out.
00:30:56.000 Shot her in front of her daughter.
00:30:59.000 He's a career criminal too.
00:31:01.000 Yeah.
00:31:02.000 Too much mayo.
00:31:04.000 I like mayo.
00:31:05.000 I love it too.
00:31:06.000 I like a juicy subway sandwich.
00:31:08.000 The story really stuck with me.
00:31:09.000 Do you know the bread and subway sandwich has so much sugar you can't legally call it bread?
00:31:13.000 No.
00:31:14.000 Yes.
00:31:14.000 Really?
00:31:15.000 Yeah, it's like a pastry.
00:31:18.000 Yeah, pull that up.
00:31:19.000 Eat fresh, man.
00:31:21.000 That's their fucking slogan.
00:31:22.000 Remember when Jared, the pedophile, was eating bread from Subway and claiming that that's how he- Do you remember that he was my buddy and that I have his phone number?
00:31:29.000 Oh, that's right.
00:31:30.000 We shot commercials together.
00:31:32.000 Jesus Christ, that's crazy.
00:31:33.000 We split a pizza at the W Hotel in New York.
00:31:36.000 That's crazy.
00:31:37.000 He was like, his friend said, you know, the executives are pissed.
00:31:43.000 They say Jared's gaining weight.
00:31:44.000 I'm like, what?
00:31:45.000 You look great.
00:31:46.000 He's like, they're like, no, he's put on a few, because they would really, they go, we can only do this campaign with you if you're always, you know, yeah.
00:31:54.000 How much did he lose total?
00:31:56.000 Man, I think he was 500 pounds and he got down to like the low twos, so he probably lost over 250 pounds, yeah.
00:32:04.000 Subway Rolls ruled too sugary to be bread in Ireland.
00:32:07.000 That is hilarious.
00:32:08.000 Pull it down with the article.
00:32:11.000 Ireland's highest court made the ruling in the case about how bread is taxed.
00:32:15.000 An Irish franchise, the US company, had claimed that it should not pay VAT on the rolls it uses in its heated sandwiches, but the court ruled that because of the level of sugar in the rolls, they cannot be taxed as bread, which classified as a staple product with zero VAT. I don't know what VAT is.
00:32:32.000 That's a tax, VAT tax act.
00:32:36.000 Under Ireland's VAT tax act of 1972, ingredients in bread such as sugar and fat should not exceed 2% of the weight of flour in the dough.
00:32:46.000 Jesus Christ.
00:32:46.000 Wow.
00:32:47.000 By the way, the funniest quote is the Subway spokesperson.
00:32:50.000 Subway's bread is, of course, bread.
00:32:53.000 Look at what they say.
00:32:55.000 The content, the sugar content is 10% of the flour.
00:33:00.000 In the dough for both white and whole grain rolls.
00:33:03.000 10% is crazy.
00:33:05.000 Yeah, that is.
00:33:06.000 Shouldn't have any fucking sugar in there.
00:33:08.000 Yeah.
00:33:08.000 Why does it have 10%?
00:33:10.000 That is...
00:33:10.000 It's a pastry.
00:33:12.000 Yeah.
00:33:12.000 Subway's bread is, of course, bread.
00:33:14.000 We have been baking bread.
00:33:16.000 Fresh bread in our stores for more than three decades, and our guests return each day for sandwiches made on bread that smells as good as it tastes.
00:33:24.000 Dude, look at that.
00:33:25.000 The rolls are now subject to tax at 13.5%.
00:33:29.000 So if you're, you know, working out your margins there, that's a big increase from what it was, right?
00:33:35.000 Like, holy shit.
00:33:36.000 Yeah, that's a hit.
00:33:37.000 Yeah, you're like, I think we gotta remake this bread, man.
00:33:39.000 Yeah, just make regular bread.
00:33:41.000 Yeah.
00:33:42.000 I mean, how many people would buy less Subway sandwiches if it was no sugar in their bread?
00:33:47.000 Maybe you don't know.
00:33:48.000 If you're used to that taste, you don't know how it's made.
00:33:54.000 And if they do that, you'd be like, the fuck is up with this bread?
00:33:57.000 I'm like, well, we cut the 35 grams of sugar we were putting in.
00:34:00.000 I'm like, oh.
00:34:01.000 Yeah, 10%.
00:34:02.000 If it's 10% of the flour is sugar, What is, like, does normal bread, do they add sugar?
00:34:11.000 I want to say...
00:34:13.000 I think white bread definitely has sugar in it.
00:34:14.000 Some, right?
00:34:15.000 Well, like Wonder Bread, but that's not really bread.
00:34:18.000 Oh, it's delicious.
00:34:19.000 I mean, it's kind of bread, but Wonder Bread is basically pastry.
00:34:22.000 Yeah, because that's a very sweet tasting bread.
00:34:24.000 Oh my god, it's so good.
00:34:26.000 Wonder Bread with, like, peanut butter and jelly is fucking fantastic.
00:34:29.000 One slice, 1.5 grams.
00:34:30.000 For white bread.
00:34:31.000 Yeah.
00:34:32.000 Oh, that's from USDA. Oh, it just says white bread, yeah.
00:34:34.000 Yeah.
00:34:35.000 Does it say how many grams are in a Subway?
00:34:38.000 Yeah, it's a lot.
00:34:39.000 It's a lot?
00:34:41.000 Yeah, look at that.
00:34:42.000 Companies reviewing the ruling, a six-inch Subway roll contains three to five grams of sugar.
00:34:47.000 That's not that bad.
00:34:48.000 It doesn't seem that crazy.
00:34:49.000 Except for gluten-free, which has seven.
00:34:51.000 Oh, interesting.
00:34:52.000 They added more sugar to gluten-free.
00:34:54.000 It seems like that Irish Supreme Court could have been just a little bit of a...
00:34:59.000 Like a scam to like, let's increase that tax rate a little bit.
00:35:02.000 Yeah, probably.
00:35:03.000 Let's get that bread tax up.
00:35:04.000 I mean, they have a known history in the UK of being a little tax happy.
00:35:08.000 Tax, yeah.
00:35:09.000 Remember those days?
00:35:10.000 Oh yeah, sure.
00:35:10.000 We had a show on the fucking what's what.
00:35:13.000 What's what, dog?
00:35:14.000 Yeah, bro.
00:35:14.000 And then there's the big tax loophole that exists in Ireland, right?
00:35:19.000 Which corporations...
00:35:21.000 Funnel their money through them.
00:35:23.000 Oh, yeah?
00:35:24.000 What is that?
00:35:25.000 What's the loophole?
00:35:25.000 So I believe the loophole has to do with, you know, if you route your money through certain countries and they have laws that allow it, they allow you to go, like, our money is actually deposited here.
00:35:41.000 They collect a tax.
00:35:43.000 Right.
00:35:44.000 But it's far less than what they would pay if they kept it, let's say, here.
00:35:50.000 So they end up...
00:35:51.000 It's essentially housing that money there to pay less tax.
00:35:55.000 I believe it's the Irish...
00:35:58.000 It's called an Irish corporate tax loophole or something like that.
00:36:01.000 Just so many tax loopholes.
00:36:02.000 But it's a big one.
00:36:05.000 There's American politicians who have lobbied to try to get that done away with, like ban the ability to do that so that people would have to pay more taxes here so far.
00:36:17.000 The problem with paying more taxes is they're just going to find more ways to spend your money.
00:36:22.000 I don't necessarily think it's going to make anything better.
00:36:26.000 I think the bureaucracy in this country is so clogged up and fucked up and ineffective.
00:36:32.000 I don't think they'd be better if we all just gave 75% taxes.
00:36:37.000 They're not going to fix the streets.
00:36:38.000 They're not going to cure the homeless problem, fix all the crime.
00:36:41.000 They'll just figure out more ways to spend.
00:36:43.000 They'll find new ways to tell you that the rich people are not paying their share, so you turn on them.
00:36:47.000 I love memes.
00:36:49.000 I've been fucking meme-happy lately.
00:36:52.000 They're so funny.
00:36:53.000 It's like when things are gone crazy, I love memes.
00:36:57.000 Because it just seems like that's the shit that makes...
00:37:01.000 They sometimes summarize things perfectly.
00:37:03.000 Yeah.
00:37:03.000 But someone just sent me one about...
00:37:08.000 I'm going to find it for you.
00:37:10.000 About people with pitchforks.
00:37:13.000 Turning on the people with torches.
00:37:16.000 Hold on a second.
00:37:17.000 I'm fucking this up.
00:37:18.000 It's not good.
00:37:20.000 Bro, my vision is dog shit.
00:37:22.000 Mine too.
00:37:23.000 It gets worse.
00:37:23.000 It's getting so bad.
00:37:25.000 All the time.
00:37:26.000 I mean, if I don't...
00:37:27.000 I'm not going to find it.
00:37:28.000 If I don't wear reading glasses...
00:37:30.000 Oh, here it is.
00:37:31.000 I can barely see.
00:37:33.000 You know those little things?
00:37:35.000 The little squares on your iPhone?
00:37:37.000 Yeah.
00:37:38.000 All the images?
00:37:38.000 I have to make the image full size.
00:37:40.000 Yeah.
00:37:40.000 I can't figure out what that little thing is.
00:37:41.000 Yeah, I've gotten to the point where if any type of thing is written on the phone, I have to enlarge or wear glasses.
00:37:52.000 I can't just read the...
00:37:55.000 So this one's like a cartoon.
00:37:57.000 Oh, no, you don't need to fight them.
00:37:58.000 You just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks.
00:38:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:38:03.000 It's real.
00:38:03.000 It's real.
00:38:04.000 I mean, this is what they would do if you got more taxes.
00:38:07.000 I guess that's not a meme.
00:38:08.000 That's a cartoon.
00:38:08.000 Yeah, but same idea, basically.
00:38:13.000 So are you aware of that Russian Popeye guy?
00:38:16.000 The guy who gets...
00:38:17.000 Russian Popeye?
00:38:18.000 Yeah, he's this guy who is addicted to plastic surgery.
00:38:22.000 Oh, no.
00:38:23.000 It's this guy who I've seen a photo of that his face is so fucking crazy.
00:38:27.000 He's doing crazy stuff to his face, but also doing stuff to his arms.
00:38:30.000 Yeah, they look good.
00:38:32.000 Look, his arm looks seriously infected.
00:38:35.000 His left arm, I mean, I don't know what's going on there, but...
00:38:38.000 He's injecting his arms with something like oil or something.
00:38:43.000 Maybe it's synthol.
00:38:45.000 So I've read somewhere that it was petroleum jelly that he's doing.
00:38:48.000 He's like literally insane.
00:38:50.000 This is like complete mental illness.
00:38:53.000 A hundred percent.
00:38:54.000 Well, if you look at the translations of his posts, it's all, I am a very attractive band.
00:38:59.000 I'm very handsome and very confident.
00:39:00.000 Sure.
00:39:01.000 And so his new ones...
00:39:02.000 Most guys like that say that.
00:39:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:39:05.000 All the good-looking ones.
00:39:06.000 Yeah.
00:39:07.000 I'm very good-looking, and I'm very confident.
00:39:09.000 Look at what he's doing to his face.
00:39:09.000 Look at that face, the big one.
00:39:11.000 So he's doing this to his face now.
00:39:15.000 Which is weird when you hear him talk, because he's got this heavy Russian accent.
00:39:19.000 What is his face, man?
00:39:21.000 Look at that.
00:39:22.000 Yeah, that's not good.
00:39:24.000 He's got...
00:39:24.000 Oh, man.
00:39:30.000 He's got makeup on, too, for sure.
00:39:32.000 He does.
00:39:32.000 Definitely got lipstick on.
00:39:37.000 There's no way those lips wouldn't feel good.
00:39:39.000 On your cock?
00:39:40.000 Yeah.
00:39:41.000 Maybe.
00:39:42.000 You don't think that would feel good?
00:39:43.000 Come on.
00:39:44.000 Like, if you just covered everything else up.
00:39:46.000 You wouldn't even have to cover everything up.
00:39:49.000 Because he looks kind of like a crazy girl.
00:39:51.000 He does.
00:39:52.000 He looks like a real crazy girl.
00:39:53.000 Yeah, like, let me see his face, full face.
00:39:56.000 Like, if you get fake eyelashes on that dude and long hair...
00:40:02.000 You can pretend.
00:40:03.000 Yeah.
00:40:06.000 I have before.
00:40:07.000 All right.
00:40:08.000 Hey!
00:40:09.000 Cheers, everybody.
00:40:10.000 Oh, hey!
00:40:11.000 Number two, New York Times bestseller.
00:40:13.000 How you doing?
00:40:13.000 Hey!
00:40:14.000 You're number two, huh?
00:40:15.000 I was.
00:40:16.000 I think I'm seven this week.
00:40:17.000 Who's number one when you were number two?
00:40:20.000 It was Fox& Friends host, and it's like reshaped the American mind.
00:40:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:26.000 Those are the people who read.
00:40:27.000 It's got the Christian emblem next to it.
00:40:30.000 Like, lets you know it's a Christian-friendly book.
00:40:31.000 Oh, boy.
00:40:31.000 And it's in every store.
00:40:33.000 Yeah.
00:40:34.000 Did you know that when the printing press was first made, most of the really popular books were like How to Spot Witches?
00:40:40.000 No.
00:40:41.000 Yeah.
00:40:41.000 I always thought, like, books.
00:40:43.000 Oh, the old books.
00:40:44.000 Like, we're going to pass down our knowledge of mathematics and geometry.
00:40:48.000 Yeah.
00:40:48.000 This is how you build a house.
00:40:49.000 Uh-uh.
00:40:50.000 Yeah.
00:40:50.000 No, the early books were like, the really popular ones, like How to Spot Witches.
00:40:54.000 Yeah.
00:40:54.000 That's hilarious.
00:40:56.000 But it only makes sense.
00:40:57.000 Did you know that they're down to two printing press houses in America now?
00:41:02.000 What?
00:41:03.000 So it used to be a thing where if we all wrote books and you're like, when's it going to print?
00:41:09.000 And it'd be like, when it's done.
00:41:09.000 We don't care.
00:41:11.000 Now you have to get a slot.
00:41:14.000 Like you're talking about like a hardcover book.
00:41:17.000 And because there's only two left, if you lose, let's say you're like, oh, my book's not ready or whatever happens.
00:41:26.000 Pull out.
00:41:27.000 Now you have to wait for everybody who already has a slot to print before you can get another one.
00:41:34.000 So it becomes a thing where the deadline to print becomes extremely important.
00:41:40.000 How many did there used to be?
00:41:42.000 So many more to the point where it was never an issue.
00:41:45.000 You would never be like, well, we can't get a slot.
00:41:47.000 I know this because when I had my deadline, I called them the night before and I was like, I'm not going to meet the deadline tomorrow.
00:41:58.000 And they're like, you have to.
00:42:00.000 And I'm like, but I won't.
00:42:02.000 Because it's not done.
00:42:04.000 And they're like, you really have to.
00:42:06.000 And I go, well, let's push it.
00:42:09.000 And then we can get a new date to print.
00:42:12.000 And we'll just push the release.
00:42:14.000 And I pitched this whole thing.
00:42:16.000 And they got back to me the next day.
00:42:17.000 They go, you have one week.
00:42:19.000 They gave me an extra week to finish it.
00:42:21.000 And I just wrote night and day.
00:42:23.000 Did you take Adderall?
00:42:25.000 I didn't.
00:42:25.000 I'd never taken it.
00:42:26.000 I haven't either, but I would think about it for that.
00:42:29.000 Yeah, that would make me hyper.
00:42:31.000 I've never done it.
00:42:32.000 My wife took it once.
00:42:33.000 She told me it's crazy.
00:42:35.000 Super focused.
00:42:35.000 She said she only took like a half of one.
00:42:37.000 Her friend was like, just take the whole one.
00:42:39.000 She's like, I'm going to try a half of one.
00:42:40.000 She's like, she's cleaning her closet.
00:42:43.000 Grinding her teeth.
00:42:44.000 I could use that.
00:42:45.000 I don't mind that.
00:42:46.000 I could use that type of focus.
00:42:48.000 I am terrified of speed because I'm terrified that I would enjoy it.
00:42:52.000 I like the Kratom.
00:42:53.000 Have you taken that?
00:42:54.000 I have taken Kratom.
00:42:55.000 Have you taken it as a pre-workout?
00:42:57.000 Yes.
00:42:58.000 Well, I've taken it as a bunch of different things, but you know Chris Bell?
00:43:02.000 Yeah.
00:43:02.000 Chris and Mark Bell?
00:43:03.000 Yeah, we were talking about them the other day.
00:43:04.000 So Chris Bell's the one who turned me on to it.
00:43:06.000 That's who turned me on to it.
00:43:07.000 And so he tells me if you take a small amount, it's sort of like a mild stimulant, like a cup of coffee.
00:43:13.000 Yeah.
00:43:14.000 But if you take a larger amount, it has a different effect.
00:43:17.000 So I go, well, how many do you take?
00:43:19.000 And he goes, well, before I work out, I take 10. I go, 10?
00:43:22.000 10?
00:43:23.000 I didn't know that.
00:43:23.000 You take 10?
00:43:25.000 I go, so I take 10. So I took 10. And I was high as fuck.
00:43:32.000 I was high as fuck.
00:43:33.000 Wait, did you take 10 vials?
00:43:34.000 10 pills.
00:43:35.000 10 pills?
00:43:35.000 Okay.
00:43:35.000 Yeah.
00:43:36.000 Because the vials, the liquid form- Oh, the liquid form.
00:43:39.000 Is more potent.
00:43:40.000 Oh, yeah.
00:43:40.000 That would be crazy.
00:43:41.000 I take one of the- I've been doing it for a couple weeks.
00:43:45.000 Yeah?
00:43:45.000 And I feel fucking ready to go after that.
00:43:49.000 I love it.
00:43:49.000 Does it make you feel like you're ready to work out?
00:43:52.000 Like you feel better?
00:43:53.000 I do.
00:43:53.000 Yeah?
00:43:54.000 More energy?
00:43:55.000 Uh-huh.
00:43:55.000 It's a weird drug.
00:43:56.000 It's a weird drug, though, because if I'm being totally honest, I also feel more confident on it.
00:44:01.000 Really?
00:44:02.000 Yeah.
00:44:03.000 Oh.
00:44:03.000 I feel, I'm just like, I don't know.
00:44:06.000 I feel more confident, but that's good, right?
00:44:08.000 I think it's good for going into a workout.
00:44:10.000 What's it bad for?
00:44:11.000 It just makes me laugh because you say that and somebody goes, you mean like cocaine?
00:44:14.000 And I'm like, I guess so.
00:44:15.000 But it's kind of like an opiate, right?
00:44:17.000 I mean, I've heard different commentary about it, but I just know that I really liked it for their stuff, Mind Bullet.
00:44:26.000 I really liked it.
00:44:27.000 Yeah.
00:44:29.000 It made me nervous when I tried 10. You might want to dial that back.
00:44:32.000 But you're also like, I'm going to do a cold plunge for 25 minutes.
00:44:37.000 Might be something in your brain doing that.
00:44:39.000 Well, I just wanted to see what he was experiencing.
00:44:41.000 He was telling me he was doing 10. I was only doing two on my own.
00:44:44.000 Okay.
00:44:45.000 Because I think maybe it even said it on the label.
00:44:47.000 I don't remember.
00:44:48.000 But I was doing two, and I was like, hmm, gives me kind of a good feeling.
00:44:51.000 I like it.
00:44:52.000 It was like a good cup of coffee.
00:44:54.000 Chris is one of those guys who, because I worked out with him in Sacramento, he can just go in there on a moment's notice and still pull five, six hundred pounds.
00:45:05.000 Really?
00:45:06.000 Yeah.
00:45:06.000 He's fifty-something years old.
00:45:08.000 Chris or Mark?
00:45:09.000 Chris.
00:45:10.000 That's a lot.
00:45:11.000 He's not a big guy.
00:45:12.000 I know.
00:45:12.000 Strong dude.
00:45:13.000 Just has that switch.
00:45:14.000 And he has fake hips.
00:45:15.000 Does he?
00:45:16.000 Yeah, he had his hips.
00:45:16.000 Mark is still super fucking strong, too.
00:45:18.000 Yeah.
00:45:20.000 But 10 is, you're getting high.
00:45:22.000 Yeah.
00:45:23.000 You're getting high, high.
00:45:25.000 Like, it's a wild high.
00:45:26.000 It's like this kind of high, like, ooh.
00:45:29.000 That vial, if I had taken another one, I might be like that, too.
00:45:32.000 Loopy.
00:45:32.000 Yeah, but that's what it does.
00:45:33.000 It's weird.
00:45:34.000 It's like it has a different effect with low dose than it does with high dose.
00:45:37.000 It's not like with low dose, you get confident and a little pick-me-up, but high dose, you get even more confident and more pick-me-up.
00:45:43.000 Sure.
00:45:44.000 No, I was high.
00:45:45.000 High, high.
00:45:45.000 I was high, like, wee.
00:45:47.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 But I didn't have...
00:45:50.000 Any motor control issues.
00:45:52.000 Like, everything moved perfect.
00:45:53.000 Sure.
00:45:54.000 It wasn't like I was impaired.
00:45:55.000 But did you finish that going, I don't want to do this again?
00:45:58.000 Yeah, I never did it again.
00:46:00.000 Never touched it again.
00:46:01.000 Do you like any pre-workout?
00:46:04.000 I don't generally...
00:46:06.000 Generally, I'll take a Kill Cliff.
00:46:09.000 I like Kill Cliff.
00:46:10.000 Okay.
00:46:10.000 Because it's like 150 milligrams, just B12 in it.
00:46:13.000 150 milligrams caffeine, like Kill Cliff Ignite.
00:46:15.000 I like those pre-workouts.
00:46:17.000 But I feel like all I really need is to get sweaty.
00:46:23.000 Once I get going, then I'm good.
00:46:25.000 I mean, it's not probably that unique, but the feeling of breaking a real sweat just from lifting is so much more rewarding than from cardio, right?
00:46:37.000 Because cardio, you go, like, I'm definitely going to sweat as long as I... But you can do a lifting regimen where...
00:46:44.000 If you do it at a certain pace, you might not sweat, but you still have a pump going.
00:46:49.000 But if you get after it with weights and you really start sweating, I think it's one of the best feelings.
00:46:55.000 Yeah, it's nice.
00:46:55.000 It's a very anxiety-relieving feeling.
00:47:00.000 Yeah.
00:47:00.000 There's two types of lifting, right?
00:47:02.000 There's like lifting heavy, like rock and rock, and with big pauses in between your sets.
00:47:07.000 You don't get too sweaty for that.
00:47:08.000 No.
00:47:09.000 You know, doing like sets of two and three.
00:47:11.000 Yeah.
00:47:12.000 Yeah.
00:47:12.000 But I don't really do that.
00:47:14.000 The heaviest thing I lift is 70 pounds.
00:47:16.000 Really?
00:47:16.000 Yeah.
00:47:18.000 Occasionally I'll do deadlifts with more or squats with more.
00:47:23.000 And when I say 70 pounds, I mean a 70 pound kettlebell.
00:47:26.000 I might use two.
00:47:27.000 Yeah.
00:47:28.000 But it's like 70 pounds with each hand.
00:47:29.000 That's what I was carrying when my knee popped the other day and I was like, Yeah, oof.
00:47:34.000 I was tearing a dumbbell.
00:47:36.000 I was doing rows, you know?
00:47:38.000 And I had it in my hand.
00:47:41.000 Just, it's fine.
00:47:42.000 I mean, it was fine for the rows.
00:47:43.000 And I go to move, and I don't pivot.
00:47:47.000 Like, my left leg stayed planted, and I just felt pop-pop.
00:47:50.000 And I was like...
00:47:51.000 It's the knee that I had injured before.
00:47:54.000 And it was a good four days.
00:47:58.000 Serious injury.
00:47:59.000 For people that don't know, there's a video of it online.
00:48:02.000 We don't need to watch it again.
00:48:03.000 But it's a patellar tendon tear.
00:48:05.000 And so you have to repair that.
00:48:07.000 But my knee also swelled up.
00:48:10.000 And I was like, oh no.
00:48:12.000 Yeah.
00:48:12.000 I got so nervous about it.
00:48:14.000 I got it x-rayed, I got it examined, got an MRI. Yeah.
00:48:17.000 And they go, I think you just tore a bunch of scar.
00:48:19.000 There's so much scar tissue there.
00:48:20.000 So they go, you tore scar tissue.
00:48:21.000 I don't even want to get my knee MRI'd, my knee that's causing me problems.
00:48:25.000 Really?
00:48:25.000 I just want to keep juicing up with stem cells.
00:48:27.000 Yeah.
00:48:27.000 Stem cell parties.
00:48:28.000 It's working.
00:48:29.000 It's definitely better.
00:48:30.000 It's definitely better.
00:48:32.000 100%.
00:48:32.000 It's just, I gotta not kick with it.
00:48:34.000 That's the whole deal.
00:48:36.000 I just can't kick.
00:48:36.000 There's too much torque in that.
00:48:37.000 Yeah, it's too much.
00:48:38.000 Yeah.
00:48:39.000 Makes sense.
00:48:40.000 And I can't just half-ass it.
00:48:44.000 Well, my PT, because I saw her when I was in L.A., she goes, like, are you doing lunches?
00:48:49.000 And I go, yeah.
00:48:49.000 She goes, are you fucking stupid?
00:48:54.000 And I'm like, what?
00:48:56.000 And she goes, are you a fucking dumbass or something?
00:48:58.000 I go, no.
00:48:59.000 Did she talk to you like that because you're a comic?
00:49:01.000 No, she just had, Dr. Karen, she just has that...
00:49:04.000 That's her?
00:49:04.000 Karen Joubert, yeah.
00:49:05.000 She has that personality.
00:49:07.000 I mean, we're friends, so we've hung out, we've socialized, but she's great, but she...
00:49:12.000 She goes, you're doing lunges like a fucking idiot?
00:49:15.000 And I was like, I guess so.
00:49:17.000 I go, hey, you never told me not to do lunges, and neither did anybody else.
00:49:21.000 She goes, I mean, look at the movement of your knee when you're doing a lunge, dummy.
00:49:24.000 Of course you're going to fuck up your potatoes.
00:49:26.000 I was like, all right.
00:49:27.000 She goes, no more lunge.
00:49:27.000 Well, how long has it been since the surgery?
00:49:30.000 The surgery was a year and a half.
00:49:32.000 And you still can't do lunges?
00:49:34.000 She just said that it's really best to...
00:49:37.000 The torque you put on the knee on a full lunge, especially like a weighted walking lunge, is a lot for a patella, for a patellar tendon.
00:49:46.000 So she's like, you can do squats, you can do deadlifts.
00:49:49.000 So never do lunges again?
00:49:50.000 I mean, maybe if it was...
00:49:52.000 Because they, like the doctor said...
00:49:55.000 It's so funny, when I got injured, they go, orthopedic injuries, full year.
00:49:59.000 Everyone said a year.
00:50:00.000 And a year, that's what it takes.
00:50:01.000 You gotta need a full year to recover.
00:50:03.000 You need a full year.
00:50:03.000 Okay.
00:50:05.000 I go in the other day when I had this scare, and he goes, yeah, you know, your left quad's coming back pretty good.
00:50:10.000 It's not where the right quad is, but I can tell you've been lifting and this is good.
00:50:14.000 I go, yeah.
00:50:15.000 He goes, you know, it takes two years before your quad comes back.
00:50:17.000 I go, when did we add another fucking year to this?
00:50:19.000 And he's like, oh, that's what it takes for a quad to really come back two years.
00:50:23.000 I go, oh, so now we're on a two-year plan.
00:50:25.000 Okay.
00:50:26.000 But how do athletes do it?
00:50:27.000 Because it doesn't take two years for them.
00:50:29.000 I don't know.
00:50:29.000 I mean, I think ACL stuff might be a little different or maybe the regimen they put them through.
00:50:35.000 I'm not sure.
00:50:36.000 This is just what they told me.
00:50:38.000 And they just said...
00:50:40.000 Maybe strengthen it up even more before you get into lunges.
00:50:44.000 Patella tendon is a big fucking tendon.
00:50:46.000 It's a big one, yeah.
00:50:47.000 I mean, what happens is, too, I mean, it's pretty obvious, but when that tendon tears, your patella just goes floating, and you have no hinge ability.
00:50:54.000 So it's just a leg that doesn't move, because you don't have a knee.
00:50:58.000 So it's just completely useless.
00:51:01.000 And then you can't move it when the surgery comes, you know, when you're recovering from it, you can't move it at all.
00:51:07.000 Like, you know, when you do ACL repair, you're able to walk on it, like, after a few weeks, and you're able to then, you know, 10 weeks later.
00:51:16.000 But you're in a straight brace for the patellar for, like, six, eight weeks.
00:51:20.000 I went to a party without crutches five days after my ACL surgery.
00:51:24.000 Okay.
00:51:25.000 I just put a knee brace on it, and I was walking around.
00:51:27.000 There you go.
00:51:27.000 I worked out real hard.
00:51:29.000 Well, I was in really good shape.
00:51:31.000 I was doing jujitsu a lot.
00:51:32.000 And I popped my ACL. And then I got it fixed within two weeks.
00:51:38.000 It was really quick.
00:51:40.000 Jesus.
00:51:40.000 Yeah.
00:51:41.000 And I didn't do any meniscus tear on that knee at all.
00:51:44.000 It was just...
00:51:45.000 It was a...
00:51:46.000 It wasn't a normal way of tearing it.
00:51:48.000 It was jujitsu and I was in what's called half guard in a lockdown and I was trying to pass this guy his half guard and he extended his legs and instead of my leg being locked out like this, my leg was locked out sideways.
00:52:03.000 So it just snapped and it sounded like a carrot.
00:52:07.000 It did?
00:52:07.000 Yeah, like that, loud.
00:52:08.000 And that was the ACL? Yeah, and it didn't even hurt.
00:52:12.000 That's what was crazy.
00:52:13.000 How about, could you walk when you stood up?
00:52:15.000 Totally.
00:52:16.000 I got up and my knee was a little stiff and I kept rolling.
00:52:19.000 I kept training.
00:52:21.000 And then I was in my office.
00:52:24.000 I think I stopped early, though.
00:52:26.000 I think I stopped training early because it was starting to stiffen up.
00:52:30.000 And I was like, eh, maybe this is something.
00:52:32.000 Because it doesn't hurt, but maybe it's something.
00:52:35.000 Meniscus tears hurt like a motherfucker.
00:52:37.000 Yeah, that's what they were telling me.
00:52:38.000 But sometimes tendons and ligaments, they don't really hurt.
00:52:41.000 It's weird.
00:52:42.000 So then I was in my office just moving some shit around, and my leg just went, it just buckled.
00:52:48.000 And I had already turned my left ACL like 10 years prior, so I knew what it was.
00:52:52.000 I was like, God damn it.
00:52:53.000 So luckily, I went in, and I had already seen this doctor, because he had cleaned up my meniscus in my left knee, and I went to him, and he's like, dude, you need surgery.
00:53:04.000 I go, when can you get me in?
00:53:05.000 He's like, 10 days.
00:53:06.000 I go, okay, we're good.
00:53:07.000 So, ten days later, I had surgery, and five days after that, I went to my friend Matt's birthday party.
00:53:12.000 He's like, I thought you just had knee surgery.
00:53:13.000 I go, I did.
00:53:14.000 I feel good.
00:53:15.000 Wow.
00:53:16.000 He's like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:53:17.000 I'm like, I've got a brace on.
00:53:19.000 That's wild.
00:53:19.000 I was walking around.
00:53:20.000 Didn't bother me at all.
00:53:21.000 I didn't even have any pain medication.
00:53:23.000 And you were exercising shortly after that?
00:53:25.000 I did jujitsu six months later.
00:53:27.000 Six months later.
00:53:27.000 Yeah, it took six months of training, but I rehabbed it hard.
00:53:31.000 I didn't rehab the left one that good because that was like in my 20s and I was kind of stupid.
00:53:36.000 Yeah.
00:53:37.000 But I was so into jujitsu when I was in my 30s that when I blew that ACL out, I was doing bodyweight squats in the shower, like deep bodyweight squats in the shower, like just days after surgery.
00:53:53.000 I was like, I am going to break this tissue up.
00:53:55.000 I'm like, I know my left leg is really strong, and I can hold the position, and my legs are strong.
00:54:00.000 I've been working out a lot, so I know I can do stuff like this, so I'm just going to slowly make sure that...
00:54:05.000 Because I have a friend, my friend Jen, she got her knee done up in Canada.
00:54:09.000 Shout out to Jen Rivett.
00:54:10.000 She got her knee done up in Canada, and I don't know if it was a bad doctor or a bad situation, but she developed scar tissue that was so bad that she couldn't fully extend her knee.
00:54:21.000 So they had to put her under.
00:54:23.000 So they put her under after the surgery, like a long time afterwards, to try to straighten her knee out to break up the scar tissue.
00:54:30.000 And they did it in this insanely painful way that you can only do if someone's out cold.
00:54:35.000 Fully out, yeah.
00:54:36.000 Still didn't work.
00:54:37.000 Didn't work?
00:54:38.000 Nope.
00:54:38.000 So her knee doesn't fully lock out.
00:54:41.000 Her knee never goes like that.
00:54:43.000 It goes like?
00:54:43.000 Yeah, it goes like this.
00:54:45.000 So she kind of walks with a limp, and I'm like, God damn it.
00:54:47.000 When I see shit like that, and she's younger than me, and I see shit like that, I'm like, well, that's how you blow your hip out.
00:54:52.000 Because you're favoring one knee, and you put pressure on your other knee.
00:54:56.000 Your whole body's like out of balance if you have something wrong like that.
00:55:00.000 Yeah.
00:55:00.000 And, you know, I... Whenever I talk to anybody that's had any kind of surgery like that, I'm like, you gotta keep that fucking leg moving.
00:55:09.000 You can't just sit around.
00:55:11.000 You can't just sit around and let it heal and lock up.
00:55:15.000 Well, I'm so glad it was scar tissue.
00:55:18.000 Yeah, I know.
00:55:19.000 That's so lucky.
00:55:21.000 I don't even know if you'd finish saying that.
00:55:22.000 So it was just the scar tissue that popped in your knee when you had that thing recently?
00:55:26.000 Yeah, because everything was intact.
00:55:27.000 I mean, first it was x-rays, and they did this manual exam where they move your leg around, and they're like, does this hurt?
00:55:32.000 Can you do this?
00:55:33.000 Can you extend?
00:55:34.000 Can you resist?
00:55:35.000 And, you know, past that, and then, yeah, the MRI, and they go, it was scar tissue.
00:55:39.000 So, thankfully.
00:55:41.000 That's very lucky.
00:55:41.000 Oh, my God.
00:55:42.000 I was just panicked about being laid up again.
00:55:44.000 I was like, fuck.
00:55:45.000 I know multiple guys who have had an ACL, had it fully repaired, and then went too hard too quick, and then blew it out again.
00:55:51.000 Yeah.
00:55:51.000 Yeah.
00:55:52.000 I knew by the time, like six months after, the two different ways that I did it, on this side I had what's called a patella tendon graft.
00:56:00.000 Where they take a piece of your patella out, and you can see the scar on this one.
00:56:04.000 It goes like this here.
00:56:05.000 They take a piece of the patella with a piece of your shin bone and a piece of your kneecap, and then they open you up like a fish, and then they drill in that and drill in that, and this patella tendon replaces your ACL. But on this one,
00:56:21.000 I did a cadaver.
00:56:23.000 And this one, they used an Achilles tendon from a cadaver, and it's 150% stronger than a regular ACL. Whoa.
00:56:30.000 Yeah.
00:56:31.000 So this one...
00:56:31.000 Didn't know that.
00:56:32.000 This one's good to go, son.
00:56:33.000 It really is.
00:56:34.000 I'm kicking through walls with this one.
00:56:36.000 But not the other one.
00:56:36.000 Well, the other one, I had some meniscus damage.
00:56:40.000 They repaired it initially, but repairing for regular people and repairing for kicking are just two different things.
00:56:49.000 The amount of torque.
00:56:50.000 Walking around is different.
00:56:52.000 Walking around probably would have been fine, but there's just too much twisting and yanking.
00:56:59.000 Kicking is so, especially spinning, There's so much torque on your knees.
00:57:04.000 There's so much going on, driving into things.
00:57:07.000 Sure.
00:57:08.000 It's hard.
00:57:09.000 I don't want to get my knees replaced.
00:57:10.000 That's what I don't want.
00:57:11.000 Because I know Michael Bisping had both his knees replaced.
00:57:14.000 I know my friend Steve Graham, he had both his knees replaced on multiple times.
00:57:18.000 So you're going to dial it back with kicking with that leg, right?
00:57:20.000 For a while.
00:57:21.000 That's why I went today, to get the stem cells.
00:57:23.000 Shout out to Ways to Will.
00:57:25.000 Shout out Waze the Well.
00:57:26.000 They're great.
00:57:27.000 Yeah.
00:57:27.000 It's awesome.
00:57:27.000 I brought friends.
00:57:28.000 Oh, it's so nice.
00:57:30.000 I mean, stem cells, all those biologics, it's such a game changer because it can heal things in a way that you just did not have access to before stem cells.
00:57:42.000 Yeah.
00:57:43.000 Sure.
00:57:43.000 It's amazing.
00:57:44.000 I mean, it already feels better.
00:57:46.000 He's been doing it for the last couple months, injecting it, and it feels way better.
00:57:51.000 It was hurting going upstairs, and I was like, God damn it.
00:57:54.000 Because I just know where this road goes.
00:57:56.000 Fucking nightmare.
00:57:57.000 And the road goes also to a weakened leg.
00:58:00.000 So I make sure that I do a lot of stuff on that leg.
00:58:03.000 I've been very, very diligent about the knees over toes program.
00:58:09.000 I have that torque sled.
00:58:11.000 I pull that motherfucker backwards almost every day.
00:58:14.000 I'm supposed to get that sled tomorrow or the next day.
00:58:16.000 Yeah, it's the shit.
00:58:18.000 That thing's the shit.
00:58:19.000 I used it at Bell's Place.
00:58:21.000 They had one.
00:58:22.000 Oh, you didn't see the gym here.
00:58:23.000 Oh, I saw it.
00:58:24.000 Oh, did you?
00:58:25.000 It's fucking wild.
00:58:27.000 Isn't it cool?
00:58:28.000 Yes.
00:58:29.000 That's cool as fuck.
00:58:30.000 Did you see the archery range?
00:58:31.000 Yes.
00:58:32.000 Yeah.
00:58:32.000 It's nuts what you have here.
00:58:34.000 Yeah.
00:58:34.000 Yoga room, sauna, cold plunge.
00:58:36.000 Crazy.
00:58:37.000 Float tank.
00:58:37.000 This is your personal gym.
00:58:38.000 It's dope.
00:58:39.000 Yeah, it's dope.
00:58:39.000 Well, other people use it, you know?
00:58:40.000 Yeah.
00:58:41.000 Security guys use it.
00:58:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:58:42.000 Curtis comes in.
00:58:43.000 Fucking, I'm coming by, man.
00:58:44.000 Anytime, brother.
00:58:45.000 Anytime.
00:58:46.000 Come on down.
00:58:47.000 Have a workout.
00:58:48.000 It's awesome.
00:58:49.000 I love having it.
00:58:49.000 It's just a beautiful thing to have.
00:58:52.000 It's also a fun thing to do with guys before you do a podcast.
00:58:56.000 Sure.
00:58:57.000 Get a workout in.
00:58:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:58:58.000 Sweat.
00:58:59.000 It's great.
00:58:59.000 Yeah, I'm going to offer yoga classes for people that want to come and do a podcast.
00:59:03.000 Like say, hey, the podcast starts at 1, but if you'd like, I'm going to do yoga at 10 a.m.
00:59:07.000 Come on down, get a little yoga class in.
00:59:10.000 That kind of shit.
00:59:10.000 Are you still doing a lot of yoga?
00:59:11.000 I haven't been, but I want to.
00:59:13.000 That's why.
00:59:14.000 I really enjoyed when we did that.
00:59:16.000 I mean, it was a whole different...
00:59:17.000 The challenge?
00:59:17.000 Yeah, but not even the challenge aspect.
00:59:19.000 I mean, that was cool, too.
00:59:20.000 But getting into something that I didn't really do before, and I do miss it.
00:59:24.000 I do like the feeling of completing one of those classes.
00:59:29.000 Yeah, we got to get Bert on the Sober October train this year.
00:59:34.000 We can't miss this one.
00:59:35.000 He needs to get sober.
00:59:36.000 I'm down.
00:59:37.000 Because I want to see, I mean, he's so much more of a drunk than he's ever been before.
00:59:44.000 Right?
00:59:45.000 Wouldn't you agree?
00:59:46.000 He's out of control.
00:59:47.000 He's out of control.
00:59:48.000 What happens is he, you know, it's not unlike, I think, anybody that maybe tours is that His wheels fall off on tour.
00:59:57.000 I mean, you know, that happens to a lot of people.
00:59:59.000 You get home, you get grounded at home.
01:00:03.000 But he tours a lot.
01:00:04.000 So what happens is, you know, the party guys on the road, it's going to be a fucking party.
01:00:09.000 Yeah, he put a post on Instagram.
01:00:11.000 He texted me, too, telling me about it.
01:00:13.000 He's like, I'm going to lose weight.
01:00:14.000 I'm going to do this.
01:00:15.000 I've got my goals.
01:00:18.000 And then he goes, but I'm back on the road in two weeks.
01:00:21.000 I'm like, bitch, you ain't doing shit.
01:00:23.000 I'm getting jacked this month.
01:00:25.000 He's going to have one hard workout, and he's going to be really tired, and he's like, I deserve a drink!
01:00:31.000 This is a video of him that he put up on his Instagram, and I think it's from him on this podcast, talking about how much he loves drinking.
01:00:41.000 I'm never going to quit drinking.
01:00:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:42.000 Because I love it.
01:00:43.000 I love it.
01:00:44.000 I love when someone says, do you want to get mimosas?
01:00:46.000 He gives a couple of those speeches.
01:00:48.000 I know what it was from.
01:00:50.000 It's called the Sunday Podcast.
01:00:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:52.000 Yeah, that's it.
01:00:53.000 Where he does this really...
01:00:54.000 Yeah, he's done on this one, too.
01:00:56.000 But on that one, yeah, he does it where he feels like a coach.
01:01:00.000 Right, right, right.
01:01:02.000 Halftime.
01:01:02.000 We're going to win this fucking championship?
01:01:03.000 He's evangelizing.
01:01:04.000 Yeah.
01:01:05.000 Yeah.
01:01:06.000 He does this thing sometimes where he's totally serious, where we'll be together.
01:01:09.000 I'm like, how you doing?
01:01:10.000 Like, we just first sat down.
01:01:11.000 How you doing?
01:01:11.000 He's like, good, good.
01:01:12.000 Haven't drank in a while.
01:01:13.000 Feel good.
01:01:14.000 I go, when was the last time you drank?
01:01:16.000 He'll go, Tuesday.
01:01:17.000 I'm like, that's not that long ago.
01:01:19.000 That's two days ago.
01:01:20.000 Yeah.
01:01:22.000 I will never quit drinking.
01:01:24.000 I will always make sure that I can keep my body healthy enough so that I can always drink.
01:01:29.000 I love seeing a sunrise with a cocktail, seeing a sunset with a cocktail, having friends walk into your house with a bottle of wine, getting on a plane.
01:01:39.000 Can I get you something?
01:01:40.000 Double Jack on the rocks.
01:01:41.000 Lots of rocks.
01:01:43.000 I love the moment someone says, hey, we should get a drink.
01:01:46.000 And you're not supposed to.
01:01:48.000 That feeling, it's like a first kiss.
01:01:50.000 You don't get that first kiss when you're married.
01:01:52.000 You get to have those first drinks.
01:01:53.000 At a brunch, someone goes, should we do mimosas?
01:01:56.000 And then the waiter goes, actually, we have bottomless mimosas.
01:01:58.000 And you're like, this is going to be the best day ever.
01:02:03.000 Dude, you just hype me the fuck up.
01:02:04.000 You just hype me up, bro.
01:02:06.000 Sounds like a locker room speech.
01:02:08.000 Yeah.
01:02:09.000 It's pretty inspirational.
01:02:10.000 I should speak at AA meetings.
01:02:15.000 He's crazy.
01:02:16.000 But it's also, he's built different.
01:02:19.000 He really is.
01:02:20.000 Actually, he really is.
01:02:21.000 He would be a fucking hell of an athlete if he wasn't a drunk.
01:02:24.000 That's the total 100% truth.
01:02:26.000 Like when you played him tennis.
01:02:28.000 Fucking unbelievable.
01:02:30.000 Yes!
01:02:30.000 It wasn't even...
01:02:31.000 And here's the thing.
01:02:32.000 He didn't really prepare for that.
01:02:34.000 And he also showed up hungover and with beers on him.
01:02:38.000 Like in his hoodie pouch.
01:02:41.000 And I was like, are you okay?
01:02:43.000 He's looking pretty hungover.
01:02:46.000 What it was, too, because he actually has...
01:02:48.000 He was a really good baseball player, right?
01:02:50.000 He has really good hand-eye coordination.
01:02:52.000 Yeah.
01:02:54.000 And that his serve was...
01:02:56.000 I'm not joking.
01:02:57.000 It was phenomenal.
01:02:58.000 Really?
01:02:59.000 His serve was phenomenal.
01:03:00.000 For somebody that's also not actively playing, and he could do things, like he could do kick serves, and he could put spin on it, and he was serving impressive...
01:03:10.000 Impressive for any buddy who plays Tenet, but especially for someone who's not even playing all the time.
01:03:14.000 Yeah.
01:03:15.000 That's right.
01:03:17.000 Let me see.
01:03:18.000 This is like...
01:03:18.000 Give me some volume.
01:03:19.000 Let me see if he's like...
01:03:20.000 Nope.
01:03:21.000 Didn't like that one.
01:03:22.000 But this is like him still figuring it out, right?
01:03:25.000 That's a light.
01:03:25.000 That's not an example.
01:03:26.000 Did we just start this match off with an ace?
01:03:28.000 He gets...
01:03:31.000 So much...
01:03:33.000 And this is my fucking case, sir.
01:03:35.000 Hold on.
01:03:37.000 This is like...
01:03:40.000 Okay, this is really bad.
01:03:45.000 I can't play tennis at all, so I'm impressed.
01:03:50.000 When you see him actually serve next, it's...
01:03:56.000 Dude, there's kids around.
01:04:04.000 This is so, I'm sure, horrific to watch, but...
01:04:12.000 So bad.
01:04:12.000 I mean, this is like watching two blind people fuck.
01:04:15.000 Yeah.
01:04:17.000 When he got after it, I guess that didn't have it there.
01:04:23.000 But yeah, so anyway, I had a tennis coach there, like a really good player.
01:04:28.000 And after the match, he's like, dude, he goes, I'm sorry.
01:04:33.000 Because he'd coached me.
01:04:34.000 And I go, what?
01:04:35.000 He goes, he has a legit D1 college serve.
01:04:38.000 And I go, what?
01:04:39.000 He goes, yeah, that is fucking really impressive.
01:04:43.000 I had no idea he would have that.
01:04:45.000 But he does have, he has athletic gifts.
01:04:47.000 For sure he does.
01:04:48.000 If he wasn't a fat fuck...
01:04:51.000 If he wasn't a fat fuck, he'd be a hell of an athlete.
01:04:53.000 Actually, you know, the thing that would completely change that guy, it's obvious, but it's his caloric intake, right?
01:05:00.000 Yes.
01:05:01.000 He's had a surplus every day.
01:05:02.000 Right.
01:05:03.000 It's surplus food, surplus drink.
01:05:05.000 If he was like, if you told him, you have to cut this out, your life's going to die.
01:05:12.000 Right.
01:05:13.000 He would fucking look unbelievable.
01:05:14.000 Like the weight loss challenge.
01:05:16.000 The first Sober October we did was just a weight loss challenge.
01:05:19.000 But even that, he did it the Burt way, which is like two weeks out.
01:05:23.000 He's like, I'm going to starve myself.
01:05:24.000 That's how he did it.
01:05:25.000 He didn't do it.
01:05:27.000 And did he even starve himself?
01:05:29.000 I think he just dehydrated himself.
01:05:30.000 Yeah, he dehydrated himself.
01:05:31.000 He probably skipped a bunch of meals.
01:05:33.000 He has a skinny formula.
01:05:36.000 What?
01:05:36.000 Yeah, he goes, you want to be skinny?
01:05:39.000 I'm like, yeah.
01:05:40.000 Because what you do is you drink, you take a Xanax.
01:05:43.000 What?
01:05:44.000 Yeah.
01:05:44.000 He's like, you sleep, and then you wake up skinny because you haven't eaten in like 15 hours.
01:05:48.000 I'm like, yeah, you could just be awake and not eat.
01:05:52.000 What a bizarre way of handling it.
01:05:54.000 Yeah.
01:05:54.000 It's just his mind, man.
01:05:56.000 Oh, God.
01:05:57.000 Thank God he's a comic, right?
01:05:59.000 Mm-hmm.
01:05:59.000 Imagine if that poor fuck was like some salesman somewhere.
01:06:02.000 Yeah.
01:06:02.000 He'd just be hating life, waiting to get drunk.
01:06:05.000 Oh, I could see him totally working at a tackle shop, you know?
01:06:09.000 Somewhere, like, you need bait, you need some worms here for you, and he would just be tipping one back on the job, and he'd be like, it's fine, he works at a bait shop, you know?
01:06:19.000 Maybe.
01:06:20.000 Maybe they'd fire him.
01:06:21.000 Who knows?
01:06:22.000 He'd put the worms where the fucking lures are supposed to be.
01:06:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:06:27.000 It's just like there's certain people that you can't imagine them being anything other than comics.
01:06:31.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:06:32.000 He is our John Daly.
01:06:34.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
01:06:35.000 That's definitely who he is.
01:06:36.000 Yeah, that's our John Daly.
01:06:37.000 But what I worry is that it's like so attached to his persona.
01:06:42.000 Right.
01:06:42.000 He has that thing, it's not uncommon where he goes, I don't want to disappoint people.
01:06:47.000 They're here to see the machine, they want to have a drink, they want to party with me, and he doesn't want to let them down, you know?
01:06:53.000 Well, he'll let them down when he dies.
01:06:56.000 Yeah?
01:06:57.000 That's gonna be a letdown.
01:06:58.000 That would suck.
01:06:59.000 The thing is, like, you can't live long like that.
01:07:03.000 Yeah, I know.
01:07:04.000 Nobody lives long like that.
01:07:05.000 No.
01:07:06.000 You live, but...
01:07:08.000 I know.
01:07:09.000 You're in a weird race with...
01:07:11.000 Obviously, he has great genetics.
01:07:13.000 He does.
01:07:14.000 He does.
01:07:15.000 So, for drinking, his genetics are fantastic.
01:07:17.000 Yeah, they really are.
01:07:19.000 Because he doesn't...
01:07:19.000 Even when he's really drunk, he's pretty fucking coherent.
01:07:22.000 There's times where I didn't know, and then all of a sudden it's revealed.
01:07:25.000 He's like, I've had...
01:07:27.000 85 drinks.
01:07:28.000 Yeah.
01:07:29.000 He's like, I drank these two bottles of whiskey and 45 beers.
01:07:32.000 I'm like, what?
01:07:34.000 And then I'll be like, oh yeah.
01:07:35.000 He's like, check this out.
01:07:36.000 And he takes his clothes off.
01:07:37.000 I'm like, oh, okay.
01:07:37.000 Like now.
01:07:38.000 But I didn't know a moment ago when we were talking.
01:07:40.000 The wildest shit is watching Shane Gillis.
01:07:43.000 I heard about this.
01:07:45.000 Shane Gillis and Ari.
01:07:46.000 Ari said, I'm going to go beer for beer with you.
01:07:47.000 Which is ridiculous.
01:07:49.000 Yeah.
01:07:49.000 Shane's a big guy, too.
01:07:50.000 He's a big guy.
01:07:51.000 Yeah.
01:07:51.000 I mean, former football player.
01:07:53.000 Yeah.
01:07:53.000 Very tall.
01:07:54.000 A lot of mass, right?
01:07:55.000 So Shane is handling 15 beers.
01:07:59.000 And plus, he had a couple.
01:08:01.000 We shotgunned a few, too.
01:08:03.000 We shotgunned...
01:08:04.000 Did he have like 17?
01:08:05.000 So he shotgunned two?
01:08:06.000 He was on 18 when Ari was on the ground.
01:08:08.000 He said 18. 18 beers.
01:08:10.000 Really?
01:08:11.000 And he was fine?
01:08:12.000 Oh, funny.
01:08:14.000 Funny.
01:08:15.000 Fine, funny, great sentences.
01:08:17.000 Wow.
01:08:18.000 Talking shit, having a good time.
01:08:19.000 He's got a real capacity.
01:08:21.000 Oh, it's superhuman.
01:08:23.000 Wow.
01:08:23.000 And Ari was done.
01:08:24.000 Ari was throwing up in a cooler.
01:08:25.000 Yeah, I saw the picture of him asleep, his arms folded, like a little baby on the ground.
01:08:29.000 Bro, I stayed for hours.
01:08:31.000 Because after the podcast is over.
01:08:35.000 We're looking, for the people just listening, we're looking at the photo of Muhammad Ali when he knocked out Sonny Liston, but it's Ali standing over Liston, and Ali has Shane's head, and Liston has Ari's body.
01:08:47.000 That is so funny.
01:08:50.000 Shane's really funny, too.
01:08:52.000 His comedy is amazing.
01:08:54.000 His stand-up is really, really good.
01:08:54.000 It's excellent.
01:08:55.000 There's a great crop of upcoming comics right now.
01:08:58.000 It's fucking great.
01:08:59.000 His special he put out.
01:09:01.000 Fantastic.
01:09:02.000 I watched that thing fully through laughing the whole time.
01:09:06.000 Very, very funny.
01:09:07.000 And his new shit is even better.
01:09:08.000 And I say the same thing about Brian Simpson.
01:09:11.000 Brian Simpson's so funny.
01:09:12.000 So funny.
01:09:13.000 We worked last night, and last night he had to go on after Duncan, and Duncan Trussell did Little Hobo.
01:09:18.000 He brought Little Hobo back.
01:09:20.000 If you've never seen Little Hobo, ladies and gentlemen, it's one of the best fucking bits I've ever seen in my life.
01:09:26.000 It's a beautiful bit, and I don't want to give away anything about it, but it's about a dummy that his grandfather had, and his grandfather died, and that's the end.
01:09:34.000 That's all I'm telling you.
01:09:35.000 And it murdered.
01:09:37.000 I mean murder, like standing ovation, people going crazy.
01:09:39.000 I remember seeing it in LA. It would murder then, too.
01:09:42.000 He just started doing it again.
01:09:43.000 Him and I had a conversation about it.
01:09:45.000 I go, you gotta bring back Little Hobo.
01:09:47.000 Oh, really?
01:09:48.000 Yeah, because Little Hobo got stolen.
01:09:50.000 I didn't know that.
01:09:51.000 Yeah.
01:09:51.000 Someone stole it.
01:09:52.000 Yeah.
01:09:52.000 Wow.
01:09:53.000 So he had to buy a new little hobo.
01:09:55.000 So he went on eBay and he found a little hobo, like a dummy.
01:09:59.000 He's a new resident now.
01:10:01.000 Yeah.
01:10:01.000 He lives here now, too.
01:10:02.000 Fucking awesome.
01:10:03.000 Isn't it crazy?
01:10:04.000 Yeah.
01:10:04.000 We got a great crew here.
01:10:05.000 Yeah.
01:10:06.000 Yeah.
01:10:06.000 Shane's moving here.
01:10:08.000 He is?
01:10:08.000 He said he's thinking about it.
01:10:10.000 I'm going to get him to move here.
01:10:11.000 Nice.
01:10:12.000 Yeah.
01:10:12.000 We need him.
01:10:13.000 That'd be great.
01:10:14.000 Fuck yeah.
01:10:14.000 When the club opens, we need him 100%.
01:10:16.000 How soon till the club?
01:10:17.000 We're in construction right now.
01:10:19.000 Okay.
01:10:20.000 Depends on how long it takes for things to get done.
01:10:22.000 What are we in?
01:10:22.000 July?
01:10:23.000 Yeah.
01:10:23.000 Beginning of July?
01:10:25.000 Alright.
01:10:25.000 Hopefully my goal is to do New Year's there.
01:10:28.000 Really?
01:10:29.000 That's what I'd like.
01:10:29.000 That'd be awesome.
01:10:30.000 I would love it if we get done by New Year's.
01:10:32.000 Celebrate New Year's Day.
01:10:32.000 Even if it's just a party.
01:10:34.000 Sure.
01:10:34.000 Even if the club's like, we open up January 1st.
01:10:37.000 Yeah.
01:10:37.000 With the club.
01:10:38.000 That'd be rad.
01:10:38.000 I'd just love to just.
01:10:39.000 That'd be rad.
01:10:40.000 Yeah.
01:10:41.000 It's gonna be so sick.
01:10:42.000 I can't wait, man.
01:10:43.000 I can't wait.
01:10:44.000 I can't wait to have a place.
01:10:45.000 And for me, like selfishly, it'll be opening as I'm getting off tour, which is ideal.
01:10:50.000 And you have a club to go to to work at.
01:10:53.000 And for me, it'll be getting open right around the time I release my special.
01:10:57.000 Mmm, so it'll be perfect for me because yeah, so it'll be right around the time where my specials released And so I'll have to do new material and it'd be a great place to work out But you know two of my favorite places to work out right now are I love working out at the creek Creek in the cave where I saw Christina run her her set which by the way was Fucking hilarious.
01:11:20.000 That's her new stuff, yeah.
01:11:21.000 She's funny, dude.
01:11:22.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:11:22.000 I haven't seen it.
01:11:23.000 I haven't seen it in the news day.
01:11:24.000 She's funny.
01:11:25.000 Yeah, she's hilarious.
01:11:26.000 Her bit about fat models is off the charts.
01:11:28.000 It's so funny.
01:11:30.000 Got a lot of hate.
01:11:30.000 We've been talking about that a lot.
01:11:32.000 Yeah?
01:11:32.000 A lot of hate?
01:11:33.000 People are mad?
01:11:34.000 Oh, yeah.
01:11:35.000 Fat people.
01:11:35.000 Well, yeah, and fat models.
01:11:37.000 They all found it.
01:11:38.000 I mean, because I know she has her act, but we were also just having conversations on podcasts about it.
01:11:44.000 Yeah.
01:11:44.000 And, you know, my thing was I go, you know, everybody has a preference for whatever their standard of beauty.
01:11:54.000 That part I'm fine with.
01:11:55.000 But my case was that when people go, you shouldn't talk about Body types or people's bodies.
01:12:03.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?
01:12:04.000 What about Bert?
01:12:05.000 But what are you talking about?
01:12:07.000 Because we all talk about other people's bodies.
01:12:11.000 You do it in your head.
01:12:12.000 You do it to yourself.
01:12:14.000 You say it to yourself.
01:12:15.000 You say it to your friends.
01:12:17.000 It's part of the way our brains are organized, is that you have a commentary about the attraction level of somebody else.
01:12:25.000 100%.
01:12:25.000 I mean, it's always done.
01:12:27.000 Even the people who lecture you about it, those people will still If you walked away with one of them and they're like, hey, have you seen so-and-so?
01:12:34.000 They're like, yeah, I don't know what's going on.
01:12:36.000 When she gets over 260, I think she goes too far.
01:12:39.000 They would still comment about it.
01:12:40.000 And it's like now, the funny thing is to me is if you go like, well, I'm a model.
01:12:44.000 Okay, so you signed up to have your photo taken because you go, I want my picture out there.
01:12:50.000 To show what I am.
01:12:51.000 You have to be open to any criticism about it.
01:12:54.000 Just like if I sign up to say things, I'm open to the criticism of you commenting on what I say.
01:13:00.000 You can tell me I suck and I'm not funny.
01:13:02.000 I have to be able to accept that because this is what I signed up for.
01:13:05.000 So you signed up to be a model.
01:13:07.000 It is open season.
01:13:09.000 It is fair game to say whatever about the way you look.
01:13:13.000 So I just don't...
01:13:15.000 I don't embrace the idea that you can't comment about the way somebody looks.
01:13:19.000 Who signed up for, hey, look at my looks?
01:13:22.000 100%.
01:13:24.000 Yeah, no ifs, ands, or buts.
01:13:26.000 I said much more rude things, I should be clear.
01:13:28.000 I wasn't this eloquent about it.
01:13:31.000 I was like, you know, I want to see beautiful, by my standards, women, and fuck it, even guys.
01:13:39.000 If you're a guy and you're a model, I want you to have almost an unattainable body, because that's a model.
01:13:46.000 He's got a six-pack, And he's fucking, you know, beautiful skin.
01:13:51.000 And you go like, that guy got the gift.
01:13:53.000 Those are his gifts.
01:13:54.000 He's genetically gifted to look like that.
01:13:57.000 The woman that, like, you know, we grew up with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, and you would see just stunning women.
01:14:03.000 They're 11 out of 10s.
01:14:06.000 You go, I don't even see a woman that looks like this ever, walking around.
01:14:10.000 This standard of beauty.
01:14:11.000 And that was your introduction to almost fantasy, getting into sex, right?
01:14:17.000 Because you're probably a young teen, and you're like, what the fuck is this?
01:14:20.000 Like Elle McPherson?
01:14:21.000 You're like, I've never seen a woman like this before.
01:14:23.000 And then I go, you know, I enjoy that, personally, as the standard of models.
01:14:29.000 So for me, I don't know, you have a fucking...
01:14:33.000 If you're a model that looks like she's the long snapper for the Colts, I'm going to say, hey, I don't think you're a model.
01:14:39.000 I think you should dig ditches or something.
01:14:43.000 I don't know.
01:14:43.000 I just feel like it's fair to say that you look like that.
01:14:46.000 You're not my kind of model.
01:14:48.000 I don't like the way your body looks.
01:14:53.000 I mean, it depends on what you're doing.
01:14:54.000 The problem is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has always been beautiful women with great bodies.
01:15:00.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:15:00.000 That's the whole idea behind the swimsuit-ishin edition.
01:15:03.000 It's fantasy level.
01:15:05.000 Yeah.
01:15:05.000 They're just like, you literally could go to a hundred beaches all over the world.
01:15:09.000 You'd never see a woman that looks like this.
01:15:11.000 Or you might see one.
01:15:13.000 Maybe.
01:15:13.000 And go, wow, look at her.
01:15:14.000 What the fuck is that?
01:15:16.000 Like when you go to a beach and there's always a guy on the beach that's just jacked, shredded, and you're like, wow, you prepared for the beach, buddy.
01:15:21.000 Yeah.
01:15:22.000 Cool.
01:15:22.000 Way to go.
01:15:23.000 You deserve it.
01:15:23.000 All year was today.
01:15:24.000 Yeah, you deserve it.
01:15:25.000 As you're walking around, strutting your stuff like a peacock.
01:15:29.000 And keep going back and forth.
01:15:30.000 Show us how.
01:15:31.000 Walk around the pool a few times.
01:15:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:15:33.000 Let it out.
01:15:34.000 Let it out, buddy.
01:15:35.000 I remember we were in Phoenix once for a show, and we were hanging out at the pool.
01:15:39.000 At the W Hotel, and this fucking guy walked by, and he had like 4% body fat, and he was like 250 pounds.
01:15:46.000 He was the most ridiculous human being I'd ever seen outside of a gym.
01:15:49.000 I was like, dude.
01:15:51.000 And I was with Eddie Bravo.
01:15:52.000 I go, look at this motherfucker.
01:15:54.000 Yeah.
01:15:54.000 I go, that motherfucker looks good.
01:15:56.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:15:58.000 You go like...
01:16:00.000 He was just like, dang, dang, dang, just shredded everywhere.
01:16:04.000 He looked like he was so excited to be at a place where he could take his shirt off.
01:16:08.000 Yeah, good for him.
01:16:09.000 And the criticism is when you showcase that and celebrate that, that you're endorsing unattainable body types and you're making people feel bad about their body.
01:16:21.000 I just don't believe that.
01:16:22.000 I just don't believe it.
01:16:23.000 I believe that...
01:16:25.000 We all have choices.
01:16:27.000 And yes, we're all built different.
01:16:28.000 We have different genetics.
01:16:29.000 But I don't believe that having this incredible freak be the model is negative for society.
01:16:37.000 I don't think that that's true.
01:16:39.000 It's not negative.
01:16:39.000 It puts a lot of pressure on people.
01:16:41.000 Sure.
01:16:41.000 To try to look better, but so what?
01:16:43.000 Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
01:16:44.000 Why is that a problem?
01:16:45.000 Well, competition is a part of everything.
01:16:47.000 There's intellectual competition.
01:16:49.000 When someone achieves a Nobel Prize, is that an unattainable level of intellect that other people can't achieve and you shouldn't flaunt that with awards?
01:16:57.000 Sure.
01:16:57.000 I mean, what do we do when someone achieves like Jeff Bezos levels of wealth?
01:17:01.000 Is that an unattainable version of wealth?
01:17:03.000 He shouldn't be allowed to have a yacht that's fucking 60,000 feet high?
01:17:08.000 What are we doing?
01:17:09.000 There's people that definitely say that.
01:17:10.000 Yeah, but why?
01:17:11.000 It's like this is the same participation trophy crowd.
01:17:15.000 It is.
01:17:15.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:16.000 Yeah.
01:17:16.000 It bothers me.
01:17:18.000 It irritates me that people feel like, you know, Well, you work really hard.
01:17:24.000 It's one of the reasons why it bothers you.
01:17:25.000 Yeah.
01:17:25.000 Because it's like, that applies to a lot of other things, too.
01:17:28.000 Sure.
01:17:28.000 That applies to wealth.
01:17:29.000 You know, when people love to talk about income inequality, which is a real thing, but you know what it's also a real thing?
01:17:35.000 Effort inequality.
01:17:36.000 Sure.
01:17:36.000 There's not equal levels of effort.
01:17:38.000 That's true.
01:17:39.000 There's a lot of people that are fucking lazy.
01:17:40.000 There are a lot.
01:17:41.000 Whatever reasons.
01:17:42.000 Maybe they have hormonal imbalances and depression and low levels of serotonin and dopamine.
01:17:48.000 I don't know.
01:17:49.000 And to be fair, there's people who work really, really, really hard and barely get by.
01:17:54.000 There's tons of people like that, too.
01:17:56.000 Sure.
01:17:56.000 Because it's a game, and you can't just run full blast.
01:18:00.000 Sometimes you've got to juke left and go right, and sometimes you've got to fake.
01:18:04.000 You've got to figure out what your strategy is.
01:18:06.000 Yeah, it is a game.
01:18:08.000 People throw off-speed pitches.
01:18:09.000 You've got to figure that out.
01:18:11.000 And some people really figure it out, and some people fucking don't.
01:18:15.000 And they just wind up busting their ass 12 hours a day, and they're always poor.
01:18:19.000 And it sucks, but the game is not set up for everybody to just do the best they can and succeed beyond their wildest dreams.
01:18:28.000 That's not how it works.
01:18:28.000 You have to think your way through it.
01:18:30.000 I got a high school teacher who was kind of a fucking weirdo.
01:18:35.000 He was an odd guy, history teacher.
01:18:38.000 But one thing that he said, he goes, this world is not set up for hard work.
01:18:43.000 He goes, this world is set up for hard thinking.
01:18:46.000 He goes, if you think hard and it requires you to work hard as well, that's one thing.
01:18:51.000 But just working hard is not enough anymore.
01:18:53.000 This is like 1983. Wow.
01:18:55.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 That's pretty insightful.
01:18:57.000 Yeah, I remember him saying that, hard thinking.
01:18:59.000 And I was like, he's right.
01:19:00.000 Because you could work hard but go down the wrong path.
01:19:03.000 And then you've got to back up and start from scratch.
01:19:06.000 And everybody's way ahead of you.
01:19:07.000 A lot of people who are incredibly successful who just have minds that are...
01:19:14.000 They figure things out.
01:19:16.000 Yeah.
01:19:16.000 They just have a higher...
01:19:18.000 Their ability to see the things and plan and execute just kind of topples.
01:19:26.000 There's people who come up with some business ideas that you're going...
01:19:29.000 We're like, how the fuck did you see this?
01:19:31.000 And they're in the office like 16 hours a day, and they're sleeping on the couch.
01:19:34.000 Like Elon.
01:19:35.000 Yeah.
01:19:35.000 Sleeping on the floor of the factory while he's trying to get the production up.
01:19:39.000 That's not a normal person.
01:19:40.000 No.
01:19:41.000 Of course not.
01:19:42.000 No.
01:19:43.000 He's also very...
01:19:44.000 People like that are...
01:19:45.000 They're solution-oriented minds.
01:19:47.000 They look at the world.
01:19:49.000 They go, here's problems.
01:19:50.000 How can we solve these problems?
01:19:52.000 Yeah.
01:19:53.000 Yeah, it's not fair.
01:19:56.000 Everybody's mind is different for whatever reason, whether it's a biological issue, it's life experience, a combination of the things.
01:20:04.000 There's a lot going on with what makes a person make choices.
01:20:09.000 And there's also, like, things that people are happy with.
01:20:11.000 Like, I have an uncle who's an artist, and he, like, paints on driftwood and shit.
01:20:16.000 Like, he doesn't give a shit about money.
01:20:19.000 Really?
01:20:19.000 Yeah, he's not really interested in money.
01:20:21.000 He's never been interested in money.
01:20:21.000 I've met people like that, yeah.
01:20:23.000 He's just interested in, like, art, and he's, like, really calm, and we, like, talk slow and he's really peaceful.
01:20:29.000 I'm kind of envious, in a way, of, you know, like, having the mentality of...
01:20:34.000 I'm not motivated by any material things or, like, you know, obtaining more or succeeding in that, where they're fulfilled, where you feel fulfilled just by the art itself, you know?
01:20:49.000 I guess.
01:20:50.000 Yeah, I mean, it's not who I am.
01:20:52.000 Yeah.
01:20:53.000 I'm not ashamed of it.
01:20:54.000 It's just not who I am.
01:20:55.000 I need constant stimulation, so I'm not envious of it.
01:20:57.000 Yeah.
01:20:57.000 Like, my brain just needs stimulation, whether it's documentaries or physical acts or...
01:21:03.000 Yeah.
01:21:03.000 I need projects.
01:21:05.000 I need things to go out, you know, like write a book.
01:21:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:21:08.000 And then the book's done.
01:21:09.000 You're like, what's next?
01:21:09.000 I shot this thing.
01:21:11.000 I told you I wrote and shot this, like, basically an episode of my own show.
01:21:15.000 Yeah.
01:21:16.000 Yeah.
01:21:16.000 Because that was like, I need that to feel creatively fulfilled.
01:21:20.000 And then there's business attached to it, but it's not in the, you know, I didn't write this to make money.
01:21:27.000 It was like, I need a project.
01:21:29.000 And then it's like, you're not doing that, work on your hour, get a special, shoot the special, let's work on another one.
01:21:34.000 I need that type of thing going.
01:21:37.000 Yeah.
01:21:37.000 Well, you know, one of the things that I really realized while we were doing the Sober October thing is how much you can actually do if you have to do it.
01:21:45.000 Like when you have to do X amount of yoga classes in a month, you make sure you do them, and then you realize, I could have always done this.
01:21:53.000 Yes.
01:21:54.000 But the community pressure helps.
01:21:56.000 Oh, 100%.
01:21:56.000 That's really the thing.
01:21:57.000 And the goal.
01:21:58.000 The goal helps, but the competition helps too.
01:22:01.000 But one thing I would never do again is the fitness challenge.
01:22:04.000 I would never do that again.
01:22:06.000 That was too much.
01:22:08.000 Yeah, everybody kind of went dark.
01:22:11.000 After a while.
01:22:13.000 Well, when Bert was talking shit, and I was like, you're going to die.
01:22:17.000 I'm going to take you into deep water.
01:22:18.000 I'm going to fucking drown you.
01:22:21.000 You told me that you went dark and started thinking about fights.
01:22:26.000 Oh yeah, I started thinking about fighting again.
01:22:28.000 Just because of that flip was switched, right?
01:22:32.000 Switch was flipped.
01:22:33.000 Yeah, the switch was flipped.
01:22:34.000 It brought me back to that weird mentality that I had when I was fighting.
01:22:39.000 Where it was like you could never do enough, you had to do more, and you had to be thinking about it all the time.
01:22:44.000 It became this obsessive competition.
01:22:46.000 And then it was also the thing about people with numbers is when you're looking at everyone else's numbers, right?
01:22:53.000 Because we were doing this MyZones thing.
01:22:55.000 So you have a chest strap heart rate monitor that you're wearing and it attaches to this app, which is a pretty clever app.
01:23:03.000 And the app registers 80% of your max heart rate is yellow.
01:23:09.000 And then when you get into red, which is 90% of your max heart rate, you're getting like three points.
01:23:15.000 Yeah, there's a point system.
01:23:16.000 And then green would be like 70. Was it like a minute?
01:23:18.000 Three points a minute or something like that?
01:23:19.000 Something like that, yeah.
01:23:20.000 Something crazy like that.
01:23:21.000 And then green is like very easy.
01:23:23.000 Yeah, but you only get a point.
01:23:25.000 Yeah, you only get a point.
01:23:26.000 The sweet spot was getting those two points, I think.
01:23:29.000 Yeah.
01:23:30.000 You can try to sustain that.
01:23:31.000 Yes.
01:23:32.000 That was a sweet point.
01:23:33.000 But the thing is seeing other people's scores and knowing that you had to beat their score.
01:23:37.000 That's when it gets crazy.
01:23:38.000 Yeah, of course.
01:23:39.000 I think that's what people get with money.
01:23:41.000 That's why those billionaire dudes are always jockeying for position.
01:23:45.000 Absolutely.
01:23:45.000 Yeah, they see those numbers in Forbes and shit.
01:23:48.000 My two favorite...
01:23:50.000 Stories about that, about being recognized for your wealth are Prince Al-Shawid, I think is his name.
01:23:59.000 I might be mispronouncing it.
01:24:00.000 My apologies, Prince, Your Highness.
01:24:02.000 And Trump.
01:24:03.000 They both have, like, really well-documented beefs with Forbes for Forbes under-reporting their wealth, they claim, you know?
01:24:13.000 Did you ever hear the recording of when Trump called a reporter and pretended he worked for Trump?
01:24:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:24:21.000 Oh, yeah.
01:24:22.000 And was saying that Trump's wealth is far more than it's being reported?
01:24:27.000 And he talked about his dating options.
01:24:30.000 He's single now.
01:24:31.000 He's dating.
01:24:31.000 He's got a lot of options.
01:24:33.000 He's doing great.
01:24:34.000 So obviously him on the phone.
01:24:36.000 Yeah, and it's John Barron.
01:24:37.000 Yeah, something like that.
01:24:38.000 And then he named his most recent son Barron.
01:24:40.000 Well, he wants to be a Barron.
01:24:41.000 Yeah, he fucking loves that name.
01:24:43.000 He's just so transparent.
01:24:44.000 That guy is so funny.
01:24:45.000 But the conversation on the phone is wild.
01:24:48.000 It's so funny.
01:24:49.000 And then, you know, they played that for him in an interview.
01:24:50.000 For him?
01:24:51.000 Yeah.
01:24:51.000 What did he say?
01:24:52.000 Not me.
01:24:54.000 That's the way he handles shit.
01:24:57.000 Wasn't there, didn't do it, wouldn't do it, don't need to.
01:25:01.000 By the way, that guy's right.
01:25:04.000 I'd like to hire that guy.
01:25:06.000 The prince ended up suing Forbes.
01:25:09.000 First, he sent the next year a leather-bound custom attaché with all his reported holdings, and he's like, this is my actual wealth.
01:25:21.000 And Forbes went through it, and they go, no, it's not.
01:25:24.000 I mean, they were saying, for instance, you're worth $12 billion, you're saying $20 billion.
01:25:30.000 And we don't see it.
01:25:32.000 We checked it out.
01:25:33.000 He was furious.
01:25:35.000 Furious!
01:25:35.000 How wild.
01:25:36.000 Yeah.
01:25:37.000 I'm gonna sue you.
01:25:38.000 That's wild.
01:25:38.000 Donald Trump uses the pseudonym John Barron throughout the 1980s.
01:25:43.000 Yeah.
01:25:46.000 I hope this plays it.
01:25:48.000 I don't...
01:25:48.000 Yeah, let's see.
01:25:56.000 John Barron.
01:25:57.000 Back in the 1980s, this John Barron guy was one of his publicists.
01:26:02.000 He was the go-to guy to get, you know, Trump goods.
01:26:06.000 Let me tell you what the deal is, just so you understand.
01:26:10.000 Thank you.
01:26:11.000 And he would say, well, you know, I'm just calling for Donald and I need to tell you this story.
01:26:16.000 And I'd like to talk to you off the record if I can, just to make your thing easier.
01:26:20.000 Okay, sure.
01:26:20.000 Is that all right?
01:26:21.000 Yeah, that's fine.
01:26:22.000 But they were always him.
01:26:23.000 It was Donald Trump.
01:26:26.000 That's so funny.
01:26:28.000 He's hilarious, dude.
01:26:29.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
01:26:31.000 There's almost a part of you that goes, it's just hilarious when someone doesn't give a fuck that much.
01:26:36.000 If he wasn't an existential threat to democracy, and the power that he wields over his minions wasn't just so disturbing, it would be hilarious.
01:26:46.000 If he wasn't in line for president, if he was just a baller, Remember when he was in all the rap videos or rap songs?
01:26:53.000 They were always referencing Trump.
01:26:56.000 He was the man.
01:26:57.000 When I was a kid, he was just a symbol of wealth.
01:27:01.000 Yeah.
01:27:01.000 Right?
01:27:02.000 So yeah, he would be in movies, he'd do cameos.
01:27:05.000 He was in Home Alone.
01:27:06.000 Yeah.
01:27:07.000 They cut him out.
01:27:08.000 They cut him out of the new version?
01:27:09.000 They cut him out of the old version.
01:27:10.000 Stop.
01:27:11.000 Yes, in Canada.
01:27:12.000 In Canada when they play Home Alone, Trump is no longer in Home Alone.
01:27:16.000 This is hilarious.
01:27:17.000 Really?
01:27:18.000 Yep.
01:27:19.000 Canada is communist.
01:27:21.000 Canada's crazy.
01:27:21.000 They're fucked.
01:27:22.000 They're fucked.
01:27:23.000 They gotta get rid of that guy.
01:27:25.000 How much time does he have?
01:27:26.000 I feel like he's been Prime Minister for a while.
01:27:28.000 Am I wrong?
01:27:28.000 I don't know.
01:27:29.000 I don't know how their system works up there.
01:27:31.000 I have zero understanding of their system.
01:27:33.000 Yeah?
01:27:33.000 I never looked into it at all.
01:27:35.000 I just, I didn't even, I liked him.
01:27:37.000 I liked him before the pandemic.
01:27:38.000 Trudeau?
01:27:39.000 Yeah.
01:27:39.000 Yeah.
01:27:39.000 I was like, he's a handsome guy.
01:27:41.000 Yeah.
01:27:41.000 Seems sweet.
01:27:42.000 Yeah.
01:27:42.000 You know?
01:27:43.000 It's like, good-looking guy, confident, good talker.
01:27:46.000 Yeah.
01:27:46.000 And then during the pandemic, I'm like, oh, you're a fucking dictator.
01:27:49.000 Yeah.
01:27:50.000 Oh, you don't like criticism.
01:27:51.000 You're trying to shut down criticism by saying that all your critics are misogynists and racists?
01:27:57.000 Yeah.
01:27:57.000 You hear who he said that about the trucking people, the truckers?
01:28:00.000 He called them?
01:28:00.000 Called them all misogynists and racists.
01:28:02.000 Poof.
01:28:03.000 Yeah, he's gross.
01:28:04.000 He's a sketchy guy.
01:28:06.000 Yeah.
01:28:07.000 And he's got some fucking shaky deals.
01:28:09.000 I would like to see where the money is coming from.
01:28:12.000 Why do you want everybody to get injected every four months?
01:28:15.000 They don't need that anymore.
01:28:17.000 What are we doing?
01:28:18.000 What are you doing?
01:28:18.000 You can't even get into Canada unless you're vaccinated.
01:28:21.000 Can't get in?
01:28:21.000 No!
01:28:22.000 Make sure that's true.
01:28:24.000 Because someone just told me, Whitney just told me, she had to show her fucking vaccination card to get into Canada.
01:28:30.000 That seems like it adds up.
01:28:34.000 It's old.
01:28:36.000 It's 2022. It's not...
01:28:38.000 2019. You know where it still feels, because I think things sway there so aggressively when something happens, where it feels like, wait, what time is it right now?
01:28:49.000 It's in New York.
01:28:50.000 I was just in New York.
01:28:51.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:51.000 Everywhere.
01:28:52.000 Everyone was masked up everywhere.
01:28:53.000 I was like, what's going on?
01:28:54.000 Why is everyone still masked up?
01:28:55.000 They're scared.
01:28:56.000 We live here.
01:28:57.000 It's a different place.
01:28:59.000 Everybody here said, well, I hope I don't get sick.
01:29:01.000 Take care of yourself.
01:29:02.000 Do your best.
01:29:03.000 Get medicine if you get sick.
01:29:04.000 Yeah.
01:29:05.000 But New York is...
01:29:06.000 It was strange.
01:29:08.000 I was there two weeks ago.
01:29:09.000 It's bizarre.
01:29:10.000 Yeah.
01:29:11.000 It's very bizarre.
01:29:12.000 It's very bizarre.
01:29:13.000 They still wear masks indoors.
01:29:15.000 Fucking Ali Wong was wearing a mask at your party.
01:29:17.000 I kept talking to her and giving her shit.
01:29:19.000 She would take the mask off to say something louder and then she'd put it back on.
01:29:22.000 You really think that's working?
01:29:23.000 She goes, I don't want to talk about it.
01:29:28.000 She's great.
01:29:29.000 I love her.
01:29:31.000 Border restrictions to enter Canada extend until at least September 30th.
01:29:34.000 Yeah, September 30th.
01:29:36.000 Really?
01:29:37.000 Fuck out of here.
01:29:39.000 Listen, man.
01:29:40.000 If there wasn't money involved in this, if this was just a public health decision, I would be way less cynical.
01:29:46.000 Yeah.
01:29:46.000 But there's a lot of money involved in this.
01:29:48.000 There's a lot of shady deals with pharmaceutical companies.
01:29:51.000 Pharmaceutical companies are responsible for 75% of all advertisements on television.
01:29:56.000 That's a really astonishing number.
01:29:58.000 It's astonishing.
01:29:59.000 This is one of two countries in the world that even allow pharmaceutical companies to advertise on television.
01:30:05.000 Goddamn.
01:30:06.000 The other one is New Zealand, but New Zealand has far more restrictive laws.
01:30:09.000 Yeah.
01:30:10.000 We are buck wild captured by an industry that makes great drugs.
01:30:15.000 Yeah.
01:30:15.000 Some of the stuff they make is all...
01:30:16.000 I'm not anti-pharmaceuticals.
01:30:17.000 Sure.
01:30:18.000 Life-saving.
01:30:18.000 Yeah.
01:30:18.000 Yeah.
01:30:19.000 All of it.
01:30:20.000 There's a lot of great stuff.
01:30:22.000 Life-saving, life-enhancing, but it's a corporation.
01:30:26.000 And corporations, they revolve around mass amounts of money.
01:30:31.000 They want to make more money every quarter.
01:30:34.000 It's a constant, endless growth cycle.
01:30:36.000 And they just had their biggest fucking years ever.
01:30:39.000 The last two years of pumping out vaccines were their biggest fucking moneymakers ever.
01:30:44.000 And...
01:30:45.000 They have no liability, which is really wild.
01:30:49.000 Like, all the other stuff, like Vioxx, which wound up killing 60,000 people, and they had all this fucking data that showed that it was bad for you.
01:30:57.000 And they still...
01:30:58.000 I had...
01:31:01.000 What was his name?
01:31:02.000 John Abramson on the podcast who litigated against the pharmaceutical companies for that.
01:31:09.000 Yeah.
01:31:09.000 And he got the internal memos where they were saying there's all these issues, blood clotting, cardiovascular issues, but he goes, which is unfortunate, but we will do well with this.
01:31:21.000 Meaning we will do well financially.
01:31:23.000 Oh, right.
01:31:23.000 So they're going to release it knowing that all these people are going to have all these problems.
01:31:26.000 Yeah.
01:31:27.000 And people are just fucking stroking out left and right.
01:31:31.000 Yeah, I mean, what is the revenue on a Merck or Pfizer yearly?
01:31:36.000 It's got to be astonishing numbers.
01:31:37.000 What he said about, I'm going to maybe fuck these up, but it's roughly in the neighborhood of these numbers.
01:31:43.000 With this Vioxx thing, they made $12 billion, and then they were fined $5 billion.
01:31:49.000 So they killed 60,000 people, and they were fined $5 billion, but they profited all the rest.
01:31:57.000 Sure.
01:31:59.000 They profited more than they were fined.
01:32:01.000 Yeah.
01:32:01.000 So they made $7 billion.
01:32:03.000 They're like, yeah, but it should be $12.
01:32:04.000 So...
01:32:05.000 Yeah, we got robbed.
01:32:06.000 We got robbed.
01:32:07.000 They took our money.
01:32:08.000 That's really crazy.
01:32:09.000 We need more money.
01:32:10.000 That's really crazy.
01:32:10.000 It's crazy.
01:32:11.000 But that's how those corporations exist.
01:32:14.000 Brigham used to be a pharmaceutical rep.
01:32:16.000 Yeah.
01:32:17.000 You ever want to get cynical about pharmaceutical drug companies?
01:32:19.000 Talk to Brigham.
01:32:20.000 Well, it really reminds me, when you talk about the mentality, it really is like drug dealer mentality.
01:32:27.000 Yes.
01:32:27.000 You know?
01:32:27.000 It is, but it's sanctioned.
01:32:29.000 Heroin and coke dealers would be like, yeah, people died, but I made a fucking fortune.
01:32:33.000 Yeah.
01:32:33.000 Yeah.
01:32:33.000 Yeah, don't take as much.
01:32:34.000 Yeah.
01:32:35.000 What are you doing?
01:32:35.000 What are you doing?
01:32:36.000 Why are you getting so high?
01:32:38.000 But with the Vioxx, it wasn't even that.
01:32:39.000 It was just people taking the normal dose.
01:32:41.000 And killing them.
01:32:42.000 Stroking out.
01:32:43.000 Yeah.
01:32:44.000 Yeah.
01:32:45.000 It's not good, man.
01:32:46.000 It's not good.
01:32:47.000 But the thing is, it's like, there's a long history of them doing that in this country.
01:32:50.000 So to give them, these companies that have had the worst records as far as knowing that things were bad, releasing them anyway, and then getting fined for them, like...
01:33:05.000 Pfizer got...
01:33:05.000 Was that the biggest fine ever in the history of medical fines for pharmaceutical companies?
01:33:14.000 I mean, they've been fined billions and billions of dollars.
01:33:17.000 And everybody's like, yeah, but so what?
01:33:19.000 They don't do that anymore.
01:33:21.000 They're good now.
01:33:22.000 Same fucking people.
01:33:23.000 Well, think about what that lobbying group is like.
01:33:26.000 Like the Pfizer-Merck lobbyists.
01:33:28.000 The Pfizer one was for a criminal fine, whereas the other ones are like settlements or...
01:33:33.000 Okay, so GlaxoSmithKline, $3 billion settlement, the largest Civil False Claims Act settlement on record, and Pfizer's $2.3 billion, $3.5 billion in 2022 settlement, included a record-breaking $1.3 billion criminal fine.
01:33:49.000 But the fines for Vioxx were larger than that, so how does that work?
01:33:55.000 What was the amount of fine for Vioxx?
01:33:59.000 List of the largest pharmaceutical settlements.
01:34:01.000 Look at this.
01:34:02.000 Sharing Plow.
01:34:03.000 Settlement, $345 million.
01:34:06.000 And that was Medicare fraud and kickbacks.
01:34:09.000 And that was for Claritin.
01:34:10.000 No shit.
01:34:11.000 Claritin?
01:34:12.000 Claritin.
01:34:13.000 Yeah.
01:34:13.000 There's a lot of dirty finds, man.
01:34:15.000 There's a lot.
01:34:18.000 Vioxx.
01:34:19.000 Yeah.
01:34:19.000 Let's see what Vioxx got fined.
01:34:22.000 Huh.
01:34:24.000 I'm off the promotion of Vioxx.
01:34:26.000 It says 950 million.
01:34:29.000 But I think they got, it was more than that.
01:34:31.000 Maybe there's other shit.
01:34:32.000 Maybe there's more than one ruling about it because so many people died.
01:34:37.000 Goddamn.
01:34:38.000 Yeah, it's spooky stuff because, you know, on one hand, you need pharmaceutical drugs.
01:34:43.000 Like, they're really good for certain ailments and illnesses, and they save people's lives, like some of them.
01:34:49.000 Yeah.
01:34:49.000 But they're just trying to make money.
01:34:51.000 They are, of course.
01:34:52.000 Yeah, you can get away with...
01:34:54.000 And the thing is, if something does produce a lot of money, you'll always be able to keep making it.
01:34:59.000 You know, that industry will not die if it's a massive producer of revenue.
01:35:04.000 Yeah.
01:35:04.000 You should read, if you really want to get grossed out, read The Real Anthony Fauci.
01:35:09.000 The Real Anthony Fauci?
01:35:10.000 It's called The Real Anthony Fauci by Robert Kennedy Jr. Really?
01:35:14.000 Yeah.
01:35:14.000 It details all of his involvement in AZT with the HIV crisis in the 80s.
01:35:21.000 Sure, in the 80s, yeah.
01:35:22.000 AZT was killing people way quicker than AIDS was.
01:35:26.000 They were using it as a chemotherapy drug before that.
01:35:29.000 They shelved it because it was just killing people.
01:35:32.000 It destroys DNA. He was pushing it.
01:35:34.000 Oh, yeah!
01:35:35.000 And they were giving people in the trials, they were giving people blood transfusions.
01:35:39.000 The people in the trials that got ACT, they got six times more blood transfusions than the people that were in the control.
01:35:47.000 Wow.
01:35:47.000 The whole thing is, the book is wild.
01:35:50.000 Would you podcast with him?
01:35:52.000 It's super political.
01:35:55.000 I would endorse reading the book.
01:35:57.000 I don't know what criticisms of the book exist.
01:36:00.000 I would have to read the criticisms of the book.
01:36:02.000 There's a lot with things Yeah.
01:36:04.000 Because obviously it's outside of my area of expertise.
01:36:07.000 But you'd sit with him though?
01:36:08.000 Would you talk with him on a podcast?
01:36:09.000 I would think about it.
01:36:10.000 Yeah.
01:36:10.000 He's very hard to listen to.
01:36:11.000 He really, ironically, maybe not ironically, but he has a really fucked up voice because he was injured by a vaccine.
01:36:19.000 Really?
01:36:19.000 Yeah.
01:36:20.000 Yeah, he took a vaccine and he had a very bad reaction to the vaccine.
01:36:23.000 And it affected his voice.
01:36:24.000 It fucked his, did something to his vocal cords.
01:36:26.000 I didn't know that.
01:36:27.000 Yeah.
01:36:28.000 That's why he talks.
01:36:29.000 Have you ever heard him talk?
01:36:30.000 Yeah, I guess it didn't register as that strange of a voice to me.
01:36:37.000 I've heard him speak before.
01:36:38.000 He's a very rough voice.
01:36:39.000 He struggles with words.
01:36:41.000 I saw him.
01:36:42.000 He was getting into it with, what's it called?
01:36:45.000 Paul, the Kentucky senator.
01:36:48.000 Rand Paul?
01:36:49.000 I think so.
01:36:49.000 I think they were going at it.
01:36:50.000 Robert Kennedy Jr. and Rand Paul?
01:36:52.000 You sure?
01:36:53.000 Wasn't Fauci and Rand Paul?
01:36:55.000 No, it's Fauci and Ron Paul.
01:36:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:36:58.000 Were you saying would I have Fauci on?
01:36:59.000 Yeah, Fauci was talking about.
01:37:00.000 Oh, yeah.
01:37:01.000 If you wanted to come in for three hours?
01:37:03.000 Yeah.
01:37:03.000 Fuck yeah.
01:37:04.000 That's what I was talking about.
01:37:05.000 Fuck yeah, come on in, little fella.
01:37:07.000 Wow.
01:37:07.000 Come have a seat.
01:37:08.000 Wow.
01:37:09.000 He's sick again with COVID. Fauci is.
01:37:11.000 Right now?
01:37:12.000 Yep.
01:37:13.000 Yeah, he's having what's called Pax Levid rebound.
01:37:16.000 Hmm.
01:37:18.000 Fauci says he's taking second course of Paxilvid after experiencing rebound with the antiviral treatment.
01:37:23.000 Fauci said that when he first tested positive, he had very minimal symptoms.
01:37:27.000 So he had minimal symptoms, he took Paxilvid, he tested negative, and then it came back.
01:37:35.000 And then COVID came back harder.
01:37:37.000 So now he's experiencing much worse symptoms.
01:37:40.000 So it's like a second round that he's getting, or is it that it kind of suppressed it for a moment and then it just came back?
01:37:45.000 I really don't know.
01:37:46.000 I mean, he's old too.
01:37:47.000 He's 81. Is he 81?
01:37:49.000 Oh yeah, he is 81. Do you think Pax Levit is legit or no?
01:37:53.000 I don't know.
01:37:54.000 I don't know.
01:37:54.000 I mean, it's an antiviral.
01:37:56.000 I mean, I don't know.
01:37:57.000 Tested negative for three consecutive days.
01:37:59.000 He decided to take one more test.
01:38:02.000 What I'd like to know is, is he taking IV vitamins?
01:38:06.000 Because IV vitamins are fucking fantastic for it.
01:38:08.000 That's what I gave my parents when my parents had it.
01:38:11.000 I got my parents on IV vitamins and monoclonal antibodies.
01:38:15.000 That stuff is super effective.
01:38:17.000 That's what saved Trump.
01:38:19.000 I mean, you've got to remember, Trump is fat and old.
01:38:21.000 And four days after it, he was campaigning and fucking waving at people.
01:38:25.000 Four days.
01:38:26.000 That's pretty impressive.
01:38:27.000 That's when I lost all my fear of the disease.
01:38:29.000 I was like, I just need to get what that guy got.
01:38:32.000 I'm fucking good.
01:38:35.000 He's eating KFC every day and shit.
01:38:37.000 That guy hasn't run in 25 years.
01:38:40.000 He thinks of his body like a battery, and he thinks that you exercise, you lose energy.
01:38:46.000 One thing that is incredible about that guy is that, you know, I'm saying even when you watch him as president, he was full of fucking energy.
01:38:54.000 Full of it.
01:38:54.000 Every day.
01:38:55.000 And they say he slept like four hours a night as one of those people.
01:38:57.000 He's on Adderall.
01:38:58.000 God.
01:38:58.000 Do you think he's on Adderall?
01:39:00.000 Yes, I do.
01:39:01.000 Only because there were multiple people who used to work on The Apprentice that were like, he was fucking gassed up for shoots.
01:39:10.000 Really?
01:39:10.000 Yeah, because he has trouble reading.
01:39:13.000 He would struggle to read prompter or script when he was just, let's say, sober.
01:39:20.000 So they would give him that and he would...
01:39:22.000 Dial in more on reading.
01:39:23.000 He gets very bored, they said.
01:39:26.000 He would get bored at the CIA briefing in the mornings.
01:39:30.000 He was like, I don't want to read that.
01:39:31.000 There's a daily briefing you get as president.
01:39:33.000 He's like, you fucking read it.
01:39:34.000 And then tell me.
01:39:36.000 So they would have to make it more engaging for him.
01:39:38.000 I heard that they would put his name in briefings multiple times to keep him interested.
01:39:44.000 And then Kushner, his son-in-law, said that he came up with a formula To keep him engaged.
01:39:52.000 Kushner did?
01:39:53.000 Yes, because he obviously was close to him and knew him well, and the formula was two good, one bad.
01:40:02.000 So if they were going to give him bad news, they could go, you start with some good news.
01:40:05.000 So they go, this is going well.
01:40:08.000 Everybody's thrilled with you about this.
01:40:09.000 Here's a bad thing.
01:40:11.000 Also, people love you for this.
01:40:14.000 So that's how they would tell him bad news.
01:40:16.000 They couldn't just go, here's a bunch of bad news.
01:40:18.000 Of course.
01:40:19.000 He's a man-baby.
01:40:20.000 He's a fucking toddler.
01:40:22.000 Yeah, he's a toddler.
01:40:24.000 That's exactly how I talk to my kids about shit.
01:40:26.000 We played the video yesterday of Kanye sitting in the White House talking to him, just ranting about stuff, about other galaxies and alternative universes.
01:40:37.000 And Trump's like...
01:40:38.000 Yeah, he's like, how about this guy?
01:40:39.000 This guy's great.
01:40:41.000 I don't know what the fuck he's saying.
01:40:42.000 But he's just letting him rant, too.
01:40:44.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:40:44.000 Well, his whole thing, it was very simple, too.
01:40:46.000 He goes, do you like me?
01:40:47.000 Yeah.
01:40:48.000 Then I like you.
01:40:49.000 That was it.
01:40:50.000 That was the standard.
01:40:51.000 Yeah.
01:40:52.000 It's fucking hilarious.
01:40:53.000 It is hilarious.
01:40:54.000 Dana White, who I love.
01:40:55.000 Yeah.
01:40:56.000 He's really good friends with him.
01:40:57.000 Yeah, he likes him a lot.
01:40:58.000 It's a very, very funny relationship.
01:41:00.000 But Trump came to one of the UFCs.
01:41:02.000 I was at that one.
01:41:03.000 Yeah, you were there.
01:41:04.000 He came over and shook my hand.
01:41:06.000 Was that Vegas?
01:41:07.000 I believe it was New York, wasn't it?
01:41:09.000 No.
01:41:09.000 No.
01:41:09.000 I don't know where it was.
01:41:10.000 Maybe it was Vegas.
01:41:11.000 Was it?
01:41:11.000 It was Vegas, because I remember...
01:41:13.000 No, it was Madison Square Garden.
01:41:15.000 Was it?
01:41:15.000 He came to one in Madison Square Garden, because I remember he was there, and the security was off the charts.
01:41:21.000 It was hard to get into the building.
01:41:23.000 No, he came to a different one.
01:41:24.000 He came to two.
01:41:25.000 One, you were there.
01:41:26.000 That was Vegas.
01:41:27.000 I didn't meet him that time.
01:41:28.000 That was when he was president.
01:41:29.000 The other one was after he was president.
01:41:31.000 The one that I met him, the one I was at, was...
01:41:36.000 There he is, T-Mobile Arena, Vegas, you were right.
01:41:38.000 That's Vegas, yes.
01:41:39.000 See that one, you're right, that one he came and, there's Masvidal, Masvidal likes him too.
01:41:43.000 I remember this.
01:41:45.000 That's right, he came and sat down and everybody cheered him.
01:41:47.000 I remember Las Vegas Metro Police back in the tunnel, where I normally, if I went with you to one of these, You know, they're just like, yeah, go where you want, you know?
01:42:02.000 Right.
01:42:02.000 And they were like, where the fuck do you think you're going?
01:42:05.000 I was like, I'm going over here.
01:42:06.000 And they're like, no, you're not.
01:42:07.000 Yeah.
01:42:08.000 Yeah.
01:42:08.000 Hilarious.
01:42:09.000 Is that a Melania stand-in?
01:42:10.000 That's his gumod.
01:42:11.000 Who's that?
01:42:12.000 That's his gumod.
01:42:13.000 Oh, my goodness.
01:42:14.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:42:15.000 Oh, no, that's that dude's wife.
01:42:16.000 Listen, that's what you think.
01:42:18.000 The guy.
01:42:19.000 I don't like how she's smiling in the back.
01:42:21.000 Old guy.
01:42:22.000 She seems a little happy to be there.
01:42:23.000 Maybe that's his.
01:42:25.000 That is...
01:42:26.000 Fucking side piece.
01:42:27.000 Side piece.
01:42:28.000 Get a nice side piece.
01:42:30.000 Gotta have a little piece on the side.
01:42:31.000 Some guys have a side piece.
01:42:33.000 Fucking...
01:42:34.000 If you're in a casino, you do.
01:42:36.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 I can't keep my main piece happy.
01:42:41.000 How do you keep a side piece happy?
01:42:43.000 I don't know.
01:42:43.000 I mean, it's hard.
01:42:43.000 Your main piece seems pretty happy to me.
01:42:45.000 She's very happy.
01:42:45.000 I can't keep her happy.
01:42:46.000 I shouldn't say that.
01:42:47.000 She's great.
01:42:48.000 But what I can say is, like, it's a lot of effort and engaging.
01:42:53.000 It's like, I'm very happy.
01:42:54.000 She's great.
01:42:55.000 My wife's great.
01:42:56.000 But I mean, I couldn't imagine being one of those guys that has, like, side wives.
01:43:02.000 But this world is a different world.
01:43:05.000 Well, that world, they want side worlds.
01:43:08.000 They want side girls.
01:43:09.000 And a lot of these guys, like super billionaire characters like him, they have a whole separate world.
01:43:16.000 Like that girl's set up in a mansion somewhere.
01:43:19.000 That woman, that beautiful woman that was walking in, is with that older guy behind her.
01:43:23.000 Oh, you know that?
01:43:24.000 He's a billionaire casino owner.
01:43:26.000 Nice.
01:43:26.000 Yeah, the guy with the glasses.
01:43:27.000 Let me see him again.
01:43:28.000 Let me see him again.
01:43:29.000 Because I like when a really old, fucked up looking guy can get a fucking nice one.
01:43:34.000 That guy is a billionaire.
01:43:36.000 He's a billionaire.
01:43:37.000 A nice one.
01:43:38.000 For sure.
01:43:39.000 Nice.
01:43:40.000 I forget his name.
01:43:42.000 I think Silk or something.
01:43:44.000 I like it when those relationships...
01:43:46.000 That guy with the glasses.
01:43:48.000 He's like 85. Perfect.
01:43:49.000 And that's his wife walking in front of him?
01:43:51.000 Yes.
01:43:52.000 She's trying to get closer to Trump.
01:43:53.000 That's him.
01:43:53.000 That's what I think.
01:43:55.000 She's like, look, she's many steps ahead.
01:43:56.000 That guy is a billionaire.
01:43:58.000 Where are you going?
01:44:00.000 But that's part of the thing.
01:44:03.000 Guys like that are very rarely single and not interested in women.
01:44:09.000 It's like part of the whole thing is they're conquerors.
01:44:12.000 They want to conquer business.
01:44:14.000 They want to take over this.
01:44:16.000 They want the biggest yacht.
01:44:17.000 And they want hot broads.
01:44:18.000 And they want everybody to see them.
01:44:19.000 Look at that one.
01:44:20.000 That's mine.
01:44:21.000 Look at them tits.
01:44:22.000 Look at them tits.
01:44:23.000 I suck on them.
01:44:23.000 And it has a shelf life.
01:44:26.000 This is not forever.
01:44:28.000 Right.
01:44:28.000 It's always about, like, this was a fun run.
01:44:31.000 Yeah.
01:44:32.000 You hit 40. 40. Jesus Christ.
01:44:34.000 33. 33. There he is.
01:44:36.000 Trump's best friend, billionaire casino mogul Phil Ruffin, shares a hidden jackpot.
01:44:41.000 Sees a hidden jackpot in the pandemic.
01:44:43.000 Ah, look at him.
01:44:44.000 Oh, yeah.
01:44:45.000 Smiley.
01:44:46.000 I like to shoot loads.
01:44:50.000 You want a meme?
01:44:51.000 Take that picture.
01:44:53.000 Let me see that picture again.
01:44:54.000 There he is.
01:44:55.000 And just write under it, I like to shoot loads.
01:44:57.000 I think that's going to happen now.
01:44:59.000 I think you're going to get your wish.
01:45:01.000 That's what he likes.
01:45:02.000 Look at me.
01:45:02.000 I got a fucking casino.
01:45:04.000 I got my own jets.
01:45:05.000 I got jets.
01:45:07.000 Not one jet.
01:45:08.000 I got the big jet.
01:45:09.000 I got the little jet.
01:45:10.000 Have you ever stayed at the Trump Hotel in Vegas?
01:45:13.000 I have not.
01:45:14.000 I'm tempted to.
01:45:15.000 Just to see what's up?
01:45:16.000 Just to see what's up.
01:45:17.000 I'm going to go in there with a MAGA hat on, see what the fuck is going on.
01:45:21.000 Because I never know who's staying there.
01:45:23.000 Yeah.
01:45:24.000 Who's staying there, you know?
01:45:25.000 No, it's...
01:45:26.000 I don't know.
01:45:27.000 I mean, she's probably got...
01:45:29.000 Because a lot of it is licensing, too.
01:45:30.000 Look at that.
01:45:31.000 Look at that.
01:45:31.000 There you go.
01:45:32.000 She's happy.
01:45:33.000 Alexandra represented Ukraine in the 2004...
01:45:37.000 Do you feel like everyone stopped just talking about this war now?
01:45:40.000 It's still actively going on.
01:45:41.000 It's still actively going on, yeah.
01:45:43.000 Ukraine makes some hot fucking broads.
01:45:45.000 They sure do.
01:45:46.000 I'll tell you that.
01:45:46.000 Yeah.
01:45:47.000 When I was a young man, I dated a gal that was from Ukraine, and she was fucking wild.
01:45:52.000 Yeah?
01:45:53.000 Wild.
01:45:53.000 A little scary.
01:45:54.000 A little scary.
01:45:55.000 Was she a little scary?
01:45:56.000 A little scary.
01:45:57.000 Yeah, a little scary.
01:45:58.000 Like, she would get angry out of nowhere, and I was like, hey, hey, hey, where's this coming from?
01:46:02.000 What?
01:46:03.000 I'm sorry.
01:46:04.000 Yeah, I'm sorry.
01:46:04.000 I just, sometimes they don't see you, and I think, maybe you fuck other girls, and they want to kill you.
01:46:10.000 Like, oh, okay.
01:46:12.000 Okay.
01:46:12.000 She was probably a good time.
01:46:17.000 There's a disproportionate amount of very pretty girls from Russia for some strange reason.
01:46:22.000 Yeah, I mean...
01:46:23.000 Great genes.
01:46:24.000 Czech Republic.
01:46:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:27.000 Hungary.
01:46:28.000 Yeah.
01:46:29.000 Slovenia.
01:46:30.000 That whole Eastern Bloc.
01:46:33.000 Do you know Eric Anders from the UFC? I doubt.
01:46:36.000 He's a top flight middleweight dude.
01:46:38.000 He was a really fun guy.
01:46:40.000 He was here the other day, but he's talking about going over there to that part of the world.
01:46:45.000 And no one was smiling.
01:46:48.000 He opened up doors for people, and they're looking at him like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:46:52.000 No one was happy.
01:46:54.000 He said, I didn't see anybody smiling.
01:46:56.000 And he was like, what is the courting routines like over here?
01:47:00.000 How do you meet somebody?
01:47:01.000 Sure.
01:47:01.000 How do you show your personality, your charm?
01:47:03.000 Is there any of that?
01:47:04.000 Like, what do they do?
01:47:05.000 I remember when I met Christina's mother-in-law, who's Hungarian, she was like, smiling, you look like a clown.
01:47:18.000 I was like, oh.
01:47:19.000 I am a clown.
01:47:19.000 Clowns smile.
01:47:20.000 I'm like, okay.
01:47:21.000 Oh boy.
01:47:21.000 Yeah.
01:47:22.000 Very like...
01:47:23.000 Hard.
01:47:24.000 Hard, yeah.
01:47:25.000 Well, you'll see too, I mean, like Putin, for years, if it's a, you know, a pose, something for the press, you don't go like that because they'll be like, why are you being all goofy?
01:47:39.000 That's the Russian mentality.
01:47:41.000 Are you a goofy fucking guy?
01:47:44.000 You're a powerful guy.
01:47:46.000 Right.
01:47:46.000 So you have a stoic.
01:47:48.000 You're a no-bullshit guy.
01:47:50.000 Yeah.
01:47:50.000 No bullshit.
01:47:51.000 I mean, every pose is very, you know, no expression.
01:47:54.000 Can you imagine trying to do stand-up in Russia?
01:47:56.000 Oof.
01:47:57.000 Yeah, I know.
01:47:59.000 Fuck.
01:48:01.000 Yeah.
01:48:01.000 Think all the jokes you've told about presidents and politicians.
01:48:06.000 Also, if you said something that just bothered the state, and they're like, we want to talk to you for a second.
01:48:11.000 Isn't it ironic that Edward Snowden exposes the United States, exposes this deep, underlying surveillance system that is essentially monitoring everybody and violating all of our constitutional rights.
01:48:26.000 And he gets kicked out of the country and he goes to Russia.
01:48:29.000 And Russia takes him in.
01:48:30.000 Celebrates him, yeah, of course.
01:48:31.000 He's happy over there.
01:48:33.000 Fine in Russia.
01:48:34.000 Yeah.
01:48:35.000 But that's, of course, deliberate on their part, to be like, we took your...
01:48:40.000 Clearly.
01:48:40.000 But still, wild.
01:48:42.000 Because he went from one...
01:48:45.000 The way they treated him, the way they treat him, the way they treat Julian Assange, you could absolutely make the argument that this is an authoritarian state.
01:48:54.000 And he leaves here to a far worse one.
01:48:57.000 Yeah.
01:48:57.000 And there he's protected.
01:48:59.000 How about Brittany Griner?
01:49:00.000 Crazy.
01:49:01.000 Isn't that insane?
01:49:02.000 We just talked about that yesterday, too.
01:49:03.000 That poor woman?
01:49:05.000 She's there for another six months before her trial.
01:49:08.000 Because, you know, all those court rulings, it's all a charade, you know?
01:49:13.000 Yeah.
01:49:13.000 It's just done to...
01:49:15.000 Yeah.
01:49:15.000 They want exchange for this arms dealer.
01:49:20.000 They have this arms dealer who's famous for just like, what do you need?
01:49:24.000 You need nooks?
01:49:25.000 I get your nooks.
01:49:27.000 It's no problem.
01:49:28.000 It's crazy.
01:49:28.000 Have you ever seen Operation Odessa?
01:49:32.000 That was a documentary on Netflix?
01:49:34.000 I feel like I did start that.
01:49:36.000 Dude.
01:49:37.000 Really?
01:49:37.000 It's amazing.
01:49:39.000 It's amazing.
01:49:40.000 And then in it, there's this one guy.
01:49:42.000 They're drug smugglers.
01:49:43.000 This one guy wants to get a submarine, and he's talking to the guy selling them the submarine, and the guy says, do you need nukes?
01:49:53.000 He offers them nuclear missiles to go with the submarine.
01:49:57.000 Do you want chips with that?
01:49:59.000 Do you want guacamole?
01:50:00.000 Sure.
01:50:01.000 Do you want a nuclear weapon?
01:50:02.000 It's a great documentary because it almost seems like it's fake, but everything in it is documented.
01:50:09.000 These are real people.
01:50:11.000 I'm reading that headline that says, you know, selling a sub to a coke dealer, and you know, that's a big thing now with the cartels.
01:50:20.000 Cokes.
01:50:21.000 Yeah, subs.
01:50:22.000 They bring in tons of coke and subs.
01:50:24.000 You ever see the Coast Guard pull those guys over?
01:50:27.000 No.
01:50:28.000 They jump on top of the fucking submarine and they're banging on the hatch.
01:50:32.000 Really?
01:50:32.000 Yeah.
01:50:33.000 Scary shit.
01:50:34.000 It's wild.
01:50:35.000 I mean, imagine what you're thinking.
01:50:36.000 Look at this.
01:50:37.000 These guys, they get to the sub, they jump off, they find their sub there, they jump off, and they fucking land on it, and they start banging on the submarine.
01:50:48.000 Like, look how crazy these guys are.
01:50:50.000 That is crazy, because you know it's nothing but machine guns down there, too.
01:50:54.000 Look at them, banging on it.
01:50:55.000 Meanwhile, these guys are hopped up on steroids in America.
01:50:59.000 Yeah.
01:50:59.000 They got red, white, and blue flowing through their fucking veins.
01:51:02.000 Woo!
01:51:03.000 Let's go!
01:51:04.000 Look at that.
01:51:05.000 He's opening up, guns blazing.
01:51:07.000 Get out.
01:51:07.000 Yeah.
01:51:08.000 At that point, you should really open up the hatch and get the fuck out of there.
01:51:10.000 You got a lot of problems up top.
01:51:12.000 Yeah.
01:51:12.000 You got a lot of problems.
01:51:14.000 Not good.
01:51:14.000 Not good.
01:51:14.000 Because they might just start shooting holes in that thing.
01:51:16.000 Yeah.
01:51:17.000 They shoot holes in that thing.
01:51:18.000 You're going under, son.
01:51:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:51:19.000 That's got to be so fucking terrifying.
01:51:21.000 Imagine being underwater in a fucking tube.
01:51:25.000 Knowing what you're doing, too.
01:51:26.000 Knowing that you're trafficking coke.
01:51:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:51:29.000 But how much is anytime being underwater in a sub?
01:51:31.000 Well, yeah.
01:51:32.000 Of course.
01:51:32.000 There's no windows.
01:51:33.000 No.
01:51:33.000 And they're also...
01:51:33.000 Have you ever taken a tour of a sub?
01:51:35.000 They're so much smaller than you think.
01:51:37.000 Really?
01:51:37.000 Yeah.
01:51:38.000 Well, that one was pretty fucking small.
01:51:39.000 Right, but I've been on a tour of one where even when you go, hey, we're going from this area to that area, the door frame used to go sideways.
01:51:49.000 They're small.
01:51:51.000 Look at this.
01:51:51.000 That's not a big thing.
01:51:53.000 That submarine is pretty fucking small.
01:51:55.000 That is a small one.
01:51:56.000 Do you think those guys pinch a little of that Coke?
01:51:58.000 Just give me a little taste for the boys.
01:52:00.000 We're gonna have a we caught the coke dealer party.
01:52:03.000 These are just giant bundles of coke.
01:52:05.000 I know.
01:52:06.000 And every time they pull it up, the fucking sub goes higher.
01:52:09.000 And you know the cartel guys are like, good.
01:52:11.000 Then now they're distracted by they think this is a big win.
01:52:14.000 Right.
01:52:14.000 Now send the big sub.
01:52:15.000 Exactly.
01:52:16.000 Exactly.
01:52:16.000 The big sub's underneath them right now.
01:52:18.000 Yeah.
01:52:18.000 It's got $500 million of coke on it.
01:52:20.000 Yeah.
01:52:21.000 Unreal.
01:52:22.000 Our appetite for Coke is off the charts.
01:52:25.000 Cartel got into avocado business.
01:52:27.000 You know about that?
01:52:28.000 What?
01:52:29.000 Because the avocado started to...
01:52:31.000 The price of it started to go up, and the cartels just took over some avocado farms.
01:52:35.000 They're like, we're doing this now, too.
01:52:37.000 Really?
01:52:38.000 Mexican drug cartels are getting into the avocado and lime business.
01:52:41.000 Yeah.
01:52:42.000 Yeah.
01:52:43.000 As soon as that price went up, they're like, this is a pretty good business to be in, too.
01:52:46.000 Well, we fucked up.
01:52:47.000 We fucked up by not seeing this coming because the same thing happened during Prohibition with alcohol, and that led to the rise of the Italian mafia taking over organized crime in America.
01:52:59.000 I mean, that was Al Capone and all those people.
01:53:01.000 They came up during Prohibition.
01:53:04.000 Whenever you have something that's of high demand but it's illegal, the people that sell it are criminals.
01:53:09.000 And so they make a lot of money, and they don't have to pay taxes on it because it's not real.
01:53:13.000 And they're criminals.
01:53:14.000 Yeah.
01:53:14.000 And especially if they're in Mexico, they ain't paying shit.
01:53:17.000 Mexico, the cartels are so sad.
01:53:19.000 Remember when they got El Chapo's son?
01:53:22.000 Mm-hmm.
01:53:23.000 They got his son.
01:53:24.000 Yep.
01:53:25.000 Yep.
01:53:25.000 The police did.
01:53:26.000 The police did.
01:53:26.000 And the cartel came with tanks and anti-aircraft weapons and rocket launchers.
01:53:32.000 Yeah.
01:53:33.000 And the government was like, take them back.
01:53:35.000 Yep.
01:53:35.000 Because they were coming at him like, this is war now.
01:53:38.000 Yeah.
01:53:38.000 They were terrified.
01:53:39.000 Yeah.
01:53:39.000 Yeah.
01:53:39.000 The cartel has way more money than the government.
01:53:42.000 And way more weapons than there.
01:53:43.000 And they'll do things the government won't, like kill your whole family.
01:53:46.000 Yeah.
01:53:46.000 In front of you.
01:53:47.000 Stab notes into them.
01:53:48.000 Yeah.
01:53:49.000 Yeah.
01:53:49.000 Fucking wild.
01:53:50.000 It's wild.
01:53:50.000 And it's right there, dude.
01:53:52.000 You could drive from San Diego.
01:53:53.000 Wee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
01:53:54.000 You could walk over.
01:53:55.000 It's so close.
01:53:56.000 It's so close.
01:53:57.000 You could swim over.
01:53:58.000 You could just swim around that little barrier.
01:54:00.000 Yeah.
01:54:00.000 I mean, the barrier between the United States and Mexico at the water is hilarious.
01:54:04.000 Have you ever seen it?
01:54:05.000 Mm-mm.
01:54:06.000 It's a goofy little fence about the size of your book.
01:54:09.000 That, like, sticks out into the water, and all you have to do is go around it.
01:54:12.000 And then you're in.
01:54:13.000 And you're in.
01:54:13.000 Yeah.
01:54:14.000 All you have to do is, like, have scuba gear, get in the water, swim around over here, start walking.
01:54:20.000 It's crazy.
01:54:20.000 It's the nuttiest shit ever.
01:54:22.000 See if you can find the fence at the beach.
01:54:25.000 Oh, that's it.
01:54:27.000 That's it?
01:54:27.000 That's it.
01:54:28.000 That's real.
01:54:30.000 That's real.
01:54:30.000 Look at the wall.
01:54:30.000 And no one's, like, posted up there?
01:54:32.000 Look at how fucking goofy that is.
01:54:34.000 So that is, the other side there is, that's Mexico.
01:54:38.000 That's where they have bullfights.
01:54:40.000 They have a bullfight thing right there.
01:54:41.000 Is that Tijuana?
01:54:43.000 This is hilarious.
01:54:45.000 It's hilarious, dude.
01:54:47.000 You could literally go like, I'm now in Mexico.
01:54:50.000 Eddie Bravo was talking, he and I were hanging out the other day, and he was telling me about, we have a good friend, Ed Clay, that I've known for a long time.
01:55:00.000 Ed Clay runs a stem cell clinic in Tijuana.
01:55:05.000 And he's like, the area of Tijuana, you would think you're in LA. He goes, that's really nice.
01:55:09.000 He's like, there's nice parts of Tijuana and there's terrible parts of Tijuana.
01:55:11.000 And you go down there and they can juice you up with ungodly amounts of stem cells.
01:55:17.000 They can do all kinds of wild shit down there that they're not allowed to do in America.
01:55:21.000 They can take stem cells and multiply them, and then they're giving you IV stem cells.
01:55:26.000 But so many people that I've known that have gone down there have had incredible results, including Eric Anders, who was here the other day, that I was telling you about.
01:55:33.000 He went down there for stuff with his neck, and he's like, his neck was fucked.
01:55:37.000 He goes, now my neck is great.
01:55:38.000 It moves good.
01:55:39.000 But he got real high dosage stuff.
01:55:41.000 Yeah, and they're going into the discs.
01:55:42.000 They're just...
01:55:43.000 He said it felt like this.
01:55:44.000 It was like...
01:55:45.000 Like his neck extended.
01:55:47.000 One dead, 13 rescued in large-scale attempt to swim around the US-Mexico border fence.
01:55:52.000 Huh?
01:55:54.000 What?
01:55:54.000 Oh, you've got fat people that were drunk.
01:55:56.000 It's not that easy.
01:55:57.000 70 migrants were in the water trying to swim to Border Field State Park in San Diego.
01:56:01.000 Listen, I can do that.
01:56:04.000 I will guarantee you I can swim around that.
01:56:06.000 I'm not the best swimmer.
01:56:07.000 Yeah.
01:56:07.000 I can fucking swim around that.
01:56:08.000 Yeah, I think I can swim around that.
01:56:09.000 If people are dying swimming around that, they should have prepared.
01:56:11.000 They probably don't swim.
01:56:12.000 They probably don't swim at all.
01:56:14.000 They probably don't swim at all.
01:56:14.000 It was nighttime when they did it, obviously.
01:56:16.000 There's also nothing, nothing like...
01:56:20.000 Even if you've, like, I swam my whole life, you know?
01:56:24.000 I mean, not like an active swimmer, but I mean, always, you know, I was a little kid on the swim team and, you know, always in pools swimming.
01:56:30.000 There's nothing that quite prepares you for what ocean swimming is like, unless you've been accustomed to it.
01:56:37.000 It's a different animal.
01:56:38.000 It is so much scarier.
01:56:40.000 Yeah.
01:56:41.000 And if there's a real, like, waves, like a real tide coming in, like, it is...
01:56:46.000 The most panic I've ever felt, I think, is twice in the ocean.
01:56:50.000 Really?
01:56:51.000 Yes.
01:56:51.000 Once, I didn't realize I was in Maui, and I rented a car, and we drove to a beach, I forget where, and when I got there, it was, you know, there was no one on this beach.
01:57:04.000 Oh, this looks fucking rad.
01:57:06.000 And the shore was, like, at a decline.
01:57:09.000 Oh.
01:57:09.000 You know?
01:57:10.000 Like, into the water.
01:57:11.000 Oh, so a heavy undertow.
01:57:12.000 Yeah.
01:57:13.000 And I go, I'm just gonna go in.
01:57:17.000 And it started to pull me back, you know?
01:57:20.000 And I was like, I just felt that panic where you go, like, don't panic too hard.
01:57:26.000 You're trying to keep yourself calm.
01:57:28.000 And I was able to, I wasn't too far out where I was able to get my footing, swim, and then like power through it and get out.
01:57:36.000 And I was like, holy shit, that was terrifying.
01:57:39.000 And when I get back to the hotel is when I talked to one of the staff and I was like, yeah, you know, I got in the water there and they're like, you got in the water there?
01:57:48.000 I go, yeah.
01:57:49.000 They go, oh yeah, you'll drown there.
01:57:51.000 No one's supposed to swim there.
01:57:52.000 I go, yeah, there's nobody there.
01:57:53.000 They're like, yeah, because you'll drown.
01:57:55.000 You'll die there.
01:57:55.000 How about a sign?
01:57:56.000 Yeah, nothing.
01:57:57.000 Nothing about that.
01:57:58.000 And once was in Florida where I got caught in a, what is it, a riptide or a current that was just pulling me back.
01:58:06.000 And I remember, you know, there were other people in other parts of the water, but I kept going back.
01:58:12.000 And I remember seeing a lifeguard.
01:58:15.000 He was up in the thing and he came down.
01:58:18.000 And he started to walk towards me and I was going back further.
01:58:22.000 And I remember being like, you gotta be shitting me.
01:58:24.000 And I kept swimming, swimming, and then I just go like, okay, don't resist here.
01:58:30.000 So I let it take me a little bit.
01:58:32.000 I think I just kind of got out of it.
01:58:33.000 And again, I got footing and I was just powering as hard as I could to get out.
01:58:38.000 And he gave me, he goes, like, thumbs up.
01:58:40.000 And I go, I waited a second, and I gave him a thumbs up, and then I got out.
01:58:44.000 And I was, like, almost hyperventilating.
01:58:47.000 I was like, he goes, yeah, you got caught.
01:58:48.000 He goes, it kind of freaked me out.
01:58:49.000 I go, I was a second from waving you in.
01:58:53.000 Fitzsimmons saved a woman's life on vacation.
01:58:55.000 Really?
01:58:56.000 Yep.
01:58:56.000 He was on vacation.
01:58:58.000 And he noticed this woman was caught in the tide and she was swimming and he noticed that no one was noticing it.
01:59:04.000 And he's like, oh my god.
01:59:05.000 And he had a split second decision that he had to make because Greg's not the biggest guy in the world and people do drown when you're trying to rescue them.
01:59:12.000 Totally.
01:59:12.000 They drown rescuing people.
01:59:14.000 And so he's there with his fucking family and he's like, fuck it, I can't just watch this.
01:59:19.000 And he jumps in the water and he saves this girl's life.
01:59:21.000 In the ocean.
01:59:21.000 Yep, in the ocean.
01:59:22.000 I saw my dad save someone's life on vacation when I was like eight years old.
01:59:27.000 Fuck.
01:59:28.000 Yeah.
01:59:28.000 We went on a...
01:59:29.000 He just took me a father-son trip.
01:59:32.000 We went to a hotel.
01:59:33.000 It was like Orlando.
01:59:34.000 And it had a water slide.
01:59:37.000 But I still remember, even before this happened, that the water that pushed you off the slide was high-powered.
01:59:44.000 You know?
01:59:45.000 So when you got to the bottom of it, it buried you.
01:59:48.000 Oh.
01:59:48.000 You know?
01:59:48.000 And as a little kid, I was like, holy shit, that's so strong.
01:59:53.000 And, you know, I think I did it maybe twice, and I was kind of scared to do it again because it just kept pushing.
01:59:58.000 It pushed you too hard into the water.
02:00:00.000 And I was standing around the pool, and then I saw my dad dive in.
02:00:05.000 He saw that there was a woman just at the bottom of the pool.
02:00:08.000 Stuck.
02:00:09.000 Just laying.
02:00:09.000 I think she was...
02:00:10.000 Oh, she went out.
02:00:11.000 She went out.
02:00:12.000 Did you see that girl went out swimming the other day in a swim meet?
02:00:15.000 No!
02:00:15.000 In the middle of a swim meet, she blacks out, and the swim coach dives into rescue her.
02:00:20.000 Holy shit!
02:00:21.000 Yeah, there's a video of it.
02:00:22.000 Dude, I saw my dad pull this girl out of the water.
02:00:25.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:00:25.000 Was she unconscious?
02:00:26.000 Yes.
02:00:27.000 Did he know CPR? No, somebody else jumped in for that, but he pulled her out, and then she would contact for years, like send cards and all this stuff.
02:00:39.000 That's cool.
02:00:40.000 This was at a swim meet, though?
02:00:42.000 Yeah, yeah, look at her.
02:00:44.000 Holy shit!
02:00:46.000 That's the coach, obviously.
02:00:48.000 So she's in, I mean, crazy.
02:00:51.000 She's in the middle of swimming, and so much effort she blacks out.
02:00:57.000 Oh yeah, I see USA stuff.
02:00:59.000 Which is crazy because she's an elite athlete.
02:01:01.000 She's elite, yeah.
02:01:03.000 Like nobody more comfortable in a pool.
02:01:05.000 Right, look at that.
02:01:06.000 She's out cold.
02:01:06.000 That's so crazy.
02:01:07.000 But the thing is, when you are at that level, you are pushing yourself so fucking hard.
02:01:15.000 You are giving everything you have.
02:01:17.000 And these swimmers are such savages.
02:01:19.000 Savages!
02:01:20.000 Savages.
02:01:21.000 Thank God the fucking swim, whatever it is, the governing body is no longer allowing trans women to compete against biological women.
02:01:29.000 Is that ruled on now?
02:01:30.000 Yes.
02:01:31.000 The governing body of swimming?
02:01:32.000 Whatever the body is, find out what the ruling is, but you have to have transitioned before you were 12. So you have no hormones that are- Oh, I got you.
02:01:40.000 You didn't go through puberty.
02:01:42.000 Which is fair.
02:01:43.000 It's basically a Leah Thomas ruling, right?
02:01:45.000 Yes.
02:01:46.000 Or anybody like her.
02:01:47.000 Right.
02:01:47.000 But I mean, it's because that became such a huge topic.
02:01:51.000 Yeah.
02:01:51.000 Yeah.
02:01:51.000 And should be.
02:01:52.000 It's fucking crazy.
02:01:53.000 Yeah.
02:01:54.000 She was 462 as a male and number one as a woman.
02:01:58.000 First it was a rugby union, now it's a swimming.
02:02:00.000 June 19th, the Federation International FINA, swimming's global governing body, ruled that transgender women, i.e.
02:02:07.000 biological males who consider themselves women, would not be allowed to compete in women's elite races if they've gone through male puberty.
02:02:13.000 Great.
02:02:14.000 Two days later, International Rugby League said it would not allow transgender women to play in the international rugby game.
02:02:19.000 Because there's a woman that plays in Australia, that's a trans woman, that's 240 pounds.
02:02:26.000 And built like the Hulk.
02:02:27.000 Yeah.
02:02:28.000 And just running people over.
02:02:30.000 Fucking people over.
02:02:30.000 You know what's funny is that people, their reaction to criticizing that, it's almost like they think because you're critical of that that you're not empathetic in any way or compassionate in any way.
02:02:45.000 And I think it's almost like they need to hear you state that, of course, you're...
02:02:52.000 Yes, it's real.
02:02:54.000 That's real.
02:02:55.000 That's real?
02:02:56.000 Yeah, that's him.
02:02:56.000 Her.
02:02:58.000 They.
02:02:59.000 Them.
02:02:59.000 Whatever.
02:03:01.000 It's insane.
02:03:02.000 It's a huge person.
02:03:03.000 I think it's just like you're not rational.
02:03:05.000 That's not rational at all.
02:03:07.000 But the fact that you can be labeled as transphobic because you say that a 21-year-old who transitions from man to woman I mean,
02:03:24.000 I get the criticism where they go, what do you want this woman to do?
02:03:29.000 She's a woman now, and so wants to compete.
02:03:32.000 And I understand that point of view, but it is totally logical.
02:03:37.000 To say all these physical, biological advantages that you have as a man should not just be transplanted into the female competition.
02:03:45.000 Of course.
02:03:46.000 Have you ever seen the conversation that I had with Adam Conover?
02:03:51.000 Do you know who he is?
02:03:52.000 I guess he's kind of a comic.
02:03:54.000 I've never seen him do stand-up, but I guess he does stand-up.
02:03:56.000 I remember this.
02:03:57.000 Adam Ruins Everything?
02:03:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:03:59.000 I remember that he came on and he was just like, of course, right?
02:04:04.000 Yes, they should.
02:04:05.000 It is watching someone who has almost a religious belief, like a wild, crazy religious belief get confronted by scientific facts and objective reality.
02:04:17.000 And still doesn't.
02:04:18.000 And he's just stammering and falling apart and trying to hold on to his woke ideology.
02:04:22.000 I mean, it's wild.
02:04:22.000 Yeah.
02:04:23.000 It's just because he's a nice guy.
02:04:25.000 It's just because he's like a very sensitive, very progressive guy, but also captivated by woke ideology.
02:04:31.000 But I don't see how somebody...
02:04:33.000 I mean, how do you look at that...
02:04:34.000 And not think women are getting fucked.
02:04:36.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
02:04:37.000 How do you see that and go like, well, that's just...
02:04:40.000 You don't see the huge, the crazy advantage that a...
02:04:44.000 I mean, look, he was 462, which is...
02:04:47.000 He's an elite male swimmer.
02:04:49.000 Yeah, number 462 in the country.
02:04:51.000 You're elite, though.
02:04:52.000 You're beating the fuck out of...
02:04:53.000 Regular guys.
02:04:53.000 99.999.
02:04:55.000 Yeah.
02:04:55.000 Definitely better than us.
02:04:56.000 Fuck yeah.
02:04:57.000 And then you just transition and you go, like, that makes sense?
02:05:00.000 Or in rugby?
02:05:01.000 Right.
02:05:02.000 Doesn't make any sense.
02:05:02.000 You're just going to absolutely decapitate somebody.
02:05:04.000 Yeah, or in MMA. None of those things make sense.
02:05:06.000 No.
02:05:07.000 It's so silly that this is a...
02:05:09.000 An argument.
02:05:10.000 Yes.
02:05:10.000 Well, it shows you how crazy this ideology is.
02:05:14.000 Yeah.
02:05:15.000 I mean, whatever you want to call it, whether you want to call it woke ideology, progressive ideology, there's an insanity to it.
02:05:21.000 Because it doesn't have anything to do with objective reality.
02:05:24.000 And there's a lot of feminist women, like my friend Megan Murphy, who fucking push back against it hard.
02:05:30.000 Because she's saying, these are not women, and you're treating them like women, and they're dominating women's spaces, and they're doing it like men.
02:05:38.000 She's like, you want to call yourself a this or a that, or you want to identify as a that or this?
02:05:42.000 That's great.
02:05:43.000 That's great.
02:05:44.000 Yeah, I agree.
02:05:44.000 You are 100% within your rights to do that.
02:05:47.000 There's a giant difference between doing that and then claiming that you can compete as a woman.
02:05:53.000 It's fucking insane.
02:05:54.000 It's madness.
02:05:54.000 Yeah.
02:05:55.000 It's madness.
02:05:55.000 Again, if you got into sprinting, high jump, any of those things where there's a huge male advantage.
02:06:01.000 The bike rider.
02:06:02.000 Do you know about the competition bike rider that dominates?
02:06:05.000 Like a cyclist?
02:06:07.000 Yeah, a cyclist, male cyclist, a biological male cyclist that competes as a woman, crushes everybody.
02:06:13.000 Really?
02:06:13.000 Yeah, same thing.
02:06:16.000 Here's the deal.
02:06:16.000 If you took a woman and you told that woman that she had to compete against a woman who's been doing steroids her whole life, but just stopped doing steroids, you'd be like, well, that's not fair.
02:06:26.000 Of course not.
02:06:27.000 Well, that's the same thing as being a man.
02:06:28.000 Yeah.
02:06:29.000 You're going through a life of puberty and a life of testosterone that's far elevated in comparison to a biological woman.
02:06:36.000 And then you look at the thresholds of what's allowed.
02:06:39.000 This is where Derek from More Plates, More Dates comes into play.
02:06:43.000 Have you ever seen that YouTube channel, More Plates, More Dates?
02:06:46.000 It's really good, but he's great at covering hormones and things along those lines and performance-enhancing drugs.
02:06:52.000 But he's essentially broken down what the threshold is for allowable testosterone for a trans woman, and it's far beyond what a normal biological woman has.
02:07:02.000 So even competing as a trans woman, like saying you're a woman, I identify as a woman, you have way more testosterone, or you potentially could have way more testosterone.
02:07:12.000 And it'd be allowed, permitted.
02:07:13.000 And it's allowed.
02:07:14.000 Yeah, so that ruling makes sense is that you haven't gone through puberty yet.
02:07:18.000 Yes.
02:07:19.000 And then, you know, there's the other thing is like, there's a story in Texas where Texas, if you are a biological female, you must compete against biological females.
02:07:30.000 Well, there was a trans boy who was taking male hormones and wrestling against girls.
02:07:37.000 So she was born a woman, right?
02:07:42.000 Biological girl, transition, becomes a boy.
02:07:44.000 She now identifies as a boy.
02:07:46.000 Taking testosterone.
02:07:48.000 Right.
02:07:48.000 For the transition.
02:07:49.000 For the transition.
02:07:50.000 And ragdolling women.
02:07:52.000 Yeah.
02:07:52.000 Yeah.
02:07:53.000 Because you're wrestling against women that don't have testosterone.
02:07:55.000 Yeah.
02:07:57.000 We're going to look back on this time if there is history, if there is a moment.
02:08:02.000 I think our history is going to be sorting through rubble going, what were they doing?
02:08:06.000 I think that's what it's going to be.
02:08:07.000 That's what I think.
02:08:09.000 I have a feeling.
02:08:09.000 We've got a few years left.
02:08:10.000 I don't know.
02:08:11.000 We might have a hundred.
02:08:12.000 Who knows?
02:08:13.000 But whenever it goes down, it's going to go down hard.
02:08:16.000 And I think it could go down in multiple fronts.
02:08:19.000 It could go down because of our own folly.
02:08:21.000 It could go down because of war.
02:08:23.000 It could go down because of natural disasters.
02:08:25.000 Yeah.
02:08:26.000 It could go down.
02:08:26.000 There's a lot of threats right now.
02:08:28.000 There's a lot of threats.
02:08:28.000 Natural disasters, I think, are probably the most likely scenario in terms of asteroid impacts and super volcanoes and shit along those lines.
02:08:36.000 Climate falling apart.
02:08:38.000 I'm not that concerned about that.
02:08:39.000 Really?
02:08:40.000 Not that it's not going to fuck everything up, because I think it is, but I'm not concerned about that being the end of the human race.
02:08:46.000 Oh.
02:08:46.000 I think the climate is just going to force people to move to different areas, and if the sea level does rise, it's going to fuck up the people that bought houses in Malibu.
02:08:54.000 Yeah.
02:08:55.000 And Miami and all that shit.
02:08:56.000 But I think our real scary stuff is impacts.
02:09:01.000 Because that's just...
02:09:02.000 There's a...
02:09:03.000 They just showed an impact on the moon, right?
02:09:05.000 Yes.
02:09:05.000 A rocket.
02:09:06.000 A rocket.
02:09:07.000 Somebody's rocket.
02:09:07.000 That no one's claimed?
02:09:09.000 No one's claimed.
02:09:09.000 That's strange.
02:09:10.000 Go to that article.
02:09:11.000 Yeah, a rocket...
02:09:12.000 A fucking rocket, dude.
02:09:13.000 Yeah, someone shot a rocket to the moon.
02:09:15.000 How is there no...
02:09:16.000 Didn't tell anybody.
02:09:17.000 How can you not trace that in some way?
02:09:19.000 They spotted a rocket impact site on the moon.
02:09:25.000 Well, there's other articles that are not the NASA site.
02:09:28.000 Go to whose rocket landed on the moon.
02:09:33.000 They found two new craters.
02:09:36.000 Mystery rocket impacts moon.
02:09:37.000 Go to that one.
02:09:38.000 I don't understand, though.
02:09:39.000 Right?
02:09:40.000 Yeah.
02:09:41.000 They don't know what the fuck happened.
02:09:43.000 They're like, hey, who did that?
02:09:46.000 Whose rocket was it?
02:09:48.000 Also, when did the rocket hit?
02:09:49.000 And it left an interesting double crater.
02:09:52.000 So it says, late in 2021, astronomers spotted what turned out to be a spent rocket body hurtling towards Earth's moon.
02:09:59.000 And now NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, which has been photographing the moon since 2009, has seen the rocket's crash site.
02:10:06.000 But the origin of the rocket is still a mystery.
02:10:09.000 Isn't that wild?
02:10:09.000 Yeah.
02:10:10.000 In 2021, someone could shoot a rocket to the moon and no one even knows.
02:10:13.000 No one knows?
02:10:14.000 And the crater is a mystery, too.
02:10:15.000 Why is it double?
02:10:17.000 Because it turns out the strange double crater, the size, the site of the crash itself, might help to identify which rocket it was that crashed.
02:10:28.000 Huh.
02:10:28.000 Look at the size of it, too, the crater.
02:10:30.000 If you scroll down, though, it gives you those measurements right there.
02:10:33.000 It says there's two craters, an 18-meter diameter, about 19.5 yards, superimposed on a western crater, 16-meter diameter, about 17.5 yards.
02:10:43.000 I mean, imagine a rocket like that hitting the Earth.
02:10:47.000 That's just a rocket.
02:10:48.000 I mean, obviously, a meteor would be, like, way, way worse.
02:10:51.000 That's not that big.
02:10:52.000 17 yards is not that big.
02:10:54.000 I mean, I'm thinking of just, like, 20 yards on a field.
02:10:56.000 Yeah, but if something has the amount of energy to slam into a planet, to leave one planet and slam into another one, kind of amazing that it only has a 20-yard crater.
02:11:06.000 Yeah, I guess so.
02:11:07.000 So there's the images.
02:11:09.000 So they're trying to unmask the owners of the body.
02:11:11.000 First they thought it was a SpaceX vehicle.
02:11:13.000 Ah, Elon did it.
02:11:15.000 But eventually they decided, oh, it must be part of a Chinese.
02:11:18.000 That makes the most sense.
02:11:18.000 Chinese government denied ownership.
02:11:20.000 We didn't do anything.
02:11:22.000 Yeah, sure.
02:11:23.000 Okay, this is solved.
02:11:24.000 Oh, did they ban TikTok today?
02:11:25.000 China did?
02:11:26.000 The FCC is urging Apple and Google to pull TikTok.
02:11:32.000 Really?
02:11:33.000 Today, yes.
02:11:34.000 Yeah, find that.
02:11:35.000 Unless they sent a letter by July 8th.
02:11:37.000 Unless TikTok sends a letter saying, we promise we're going to stop stealing your data.
02:11:43.000 No more thumbprints, no more facial scans.
02:11:46.000 We promise.
02:11:48.000 Whoa.
02:11:49.000 Yeah, listen, Trump was talking about this a long time ago.
02:11:51.000 He's saying we should ban TikTok.
02:11:52.000 I remember.
02:11:53.000 And so TikTok said, we're going to have an American TikTok and a Chinese TikTok, and we won't fuck with it.
02:11:58.000 But it turns out, the American TikTok gets all of its data from the Chinese TikTok.
02:12:02.000 So TikTok sends the data to China first, and then China goes, we'll be right back after we get your credit card information.
02:12:07.000 And then they send it over.
02:12:08.000 Wow.
02:12:09.000 Yeah, it's like he was right with the Huawei thing when they banned Huawei.
02:12:14.000 A lot of people are like, hey, why are they banning Huawei?
02:12:16.000 And then when I talked to Mike Baker, the guy from the CIA, he's like, listen, that is a fucking corrupt company that 100% is doing the most invasive searches on people's phones and scooping up data at unprecedented levels.
02:12:30.000 Wow.
02:12:30.000 They back-engineered the TikTok app and they said it's the biggest violator of privacy they've ever found.
02:12:37.000 FCC commissioner calls on Apple and Google to remove TikTok from their app stores.
02:12:41.000 This is wild shit, dude.
02:12:43.000 This is wild.
02:12:44.000 Yeah.
02:12:45.000 A member of the Federal Communications Commission is renewing calls for Apple and Google to remove TikTok from their app store, citing national security concerns surrounding TikTok's Chinese-based parent company, ByteDance.
02:12:58.000 I like ByteDance.
02:12:59.000 What a great name.
02:13:00.000 It is great.
02:13:01.000 June 24, CEO of Apple and Google, FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr, Described ByteDance as beholden to the Chinese government and required by law to comply with Chinese government surveillance demands.
02:13:13.000 For sure.
02:13:14.000 100%.
02:13:15.000 Do you also, though, do you feel like that it's almost not worth resisting some of these things?
02:13:24.000 Like how big surveillance is from tech that you realize you can do what you think you can to avoid giving out your information, but you know that your information...
02:13:34.000 Is out there, right?
02:13:35.000 Somebody has collected it.
02:13:38.000 There's a difference between Google collecting it, which is not ideal, and the Chinese government collecting it.
02:13:42.000 Oh, I 100% agree.
02:13:44.000 Yeah.
02:13:44.000 The national security concern aspect of it is, first of all, if your kid is on TikTok, then maybe it has some sort of an ability to track phones that are in the area.
02:13:55.000 Maybe it's scooping data off of phones that are close by.
02:13:58.000 Maybe it's scooping Maybe it's recognizing financial transactions that you're also making on the same phone.
02:14:06.000 Maybe it's recognizing very important geolocations of important people.
02:14:13.000 Who the fuck knows what it can do and what they can't do?
02:14:16.000 But see if you can Google back engineers TikTok and finds privacy issues.
02:14:28.000 You know, China slides under the radar to so many, like, civilian people, and then you talk to anybody in intelligence, and they're like, that is our greatest adversary by far.
02:14:40.000 Yeah.
02:14:40.000 By far.
02:14:41.000 They're scary.
02:14:42.000 Yeah.
02:14:42.000 They have a massive economy.
02:14:43.000 They have a full connection to all businesses.
02:14:47.000 So the government is in complete control of all businesses.
02:14:50.000 There is no business that operates without the control of the Chinese government.
02:14:54.000 The governments don't go...
02:14:55.000 In America, Apple can go, Biden's an idiot, and this country's fucked, and we're doing a terrible job, and we need to shut the fuck up.
02:15:03.000 They don't do that shit there.
02:15:04.000 You'll disappear.
02:15:05.000 Yeah.
02:15:05.000 They took that Jack Ma guy that's the head of Alibaba, which is their version of...
02:15:09.000 Super wealthy, multi-billionaire.
02:15:12.000 He vanished for four months.
02:15:13.000 When he came back, he's like, everything is great.
02:15:15.000 I love the government.
02:15:17.000 Remember the tennis player?
02:15:18.000 Oh, yeah.
02:15:19.000 She was like, oh, I was assaulted by a high-ranking person in the People's Republic, whatever, the party of the Chinese government, and then disappeared.
02:15:29.000 And she's like, I didn't mean it.
02:15:31.000 Thumbs up.
02:15:32.000 Yeah.
02:15:33.000 Yeah, it's harder to just straight up disappear people now because they've killed a few billionaires or put them in, you know, who knows what they're doing.
02:15:40.000 They probably just have them in a jail system and they just fuck them every day.
02:15:43.000 Today I fuck you again!
02:15:44.000 People, because of that system, it's different, the loyalty to the state of Chinese, even citizens, is different, you know?
02:15:52.000 Well, they get fucking scared.
02:15:53.000 Sure.
02:15:54.000 Well, you remember when fucking, what's his face, John Cena was apologizing.
02:16:00.000 I'm so sorry, China.
02:16:01.000 I respect China so, so much.
02:16:03.000 He did it in Mandarin?
02:16:04.000 Yeah.
02:16:04.000 Yeah, speaks in Mandarin, which is wild.
02:16:07.000 Oh, yeah.
02:16:08.000 But he was apologizing.
02:16:10.000 I made a mistake.
02:16:10.000 I was very tired.
02:16:12.000 I made a big mistake.
02:16:13.000 I respect China so much.
02:16:15.000 In that business, they think about that box office.
02:16:17.000 That's a serious box office over there.
02:16:19.000 But meanwhile, Top Gun said, fuck you, and they had a Chinese flag on Tom Cruise's back, and they pulled it from, but still killing it.
02:16:26.000 Same thing with Spider-Man.
02:16:28.000 They're realizing now, you know, like, it's not worth it.
02:16:30.000 And also people are aware that you're a cuck.
02:16:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:16:34.000 What does it say?
02:16:34.000 Claims this guy made two years ago on a Reddit post, and they were disputed, sort of, but not in a really good way that I could find just now.
02:16:45.000 Okay, so let me see the headline.
02:16:47.000 It says, guy who reverse engineered TikTok reveals the scary things he learned, advises people to stay away from it.
02:16:53.000 Facebook got itself into sensitive data scandal when it, you know, my youngest was today.
02:16:59.000 She has a friend over at her house and they were laughing and giggling.
02:17:02.000 I go, what are you guys doing?
02:17:03.000 We're making the craziest TikTok.
02:17:05.000 Like, kids are fucking addicted to TikTok.
02:17:08.000 But the TikTok in America and the TikTok in China for kids is very different.
02:17:12.000 Do you know about that?
02:17:13.000 No.
02:17:13.000 In China, you can't use it after 10 p.m.
02:17:17.000 Kids, they're not allowed on it after 10 p.m.
02:17:20.000 It shuts down?
02:17:20.000 It shuts down.
02:17:21.000 And TikTok highlights scientific achievements, athletic endeavors, all sorts of different things that did show powerful, accomplishment-driven activities.
02:17:32.000 In America, it's like crazy gender stuff and dance moves.
02:17:38.000 It's somebody pulling their tooth out in the kitchen with pliers, and they're like, Exactly.
02:17:43.000 It's like they're trying to turn people into dullards and as many as they can into idiots.
02:17:50.000 And they're going to get a lot of us.
02:17:52.000 They're going to get a lot of people.
02:17:53.000 For sure.
02:17:54.000 That's the way they're going to win.
02:17:55.000 The way China and Russia, the way they're going to subvert Americans is through making us idiots.
02:18:01.000 Yeah, I think it's working.
02:18:03.000 We're fucking dumb as shit here.
02:18:05.000 People don't care about education or anything.
02:18:07.000 I mean, it's such a minority that really is driven for that.
02:18:11.000 But there's obviously a hunger for it, right?
02:18:13.000 Because the hunger for podcasts...
02:18:16.000 I mean, obviously a lot of podcasts are just nonsense conversations, but some of the podcasts that I've had talking to scientists have, you know, fucking 30, 40 million views.
02:18:25.000 Yeah.
02:18:25.000 Like, why is that?
02:18:26.000 It's because there are people out there that are fascinated with interesting things.
02:18:29.000 Yeah.
02:18:30.000 But that is not being shown to them in most media.
02:18:35.000 Yeah.
02:18:35.000 It's hard to get.
02:18:36.000 Yeah.
02:18:37.000 And, like, deep conversations with people that have- That are brilliant people.
02:18:41.000 Yeah.
02:18:42.000 There's enough people out.
02:18:44.000 I mean, we're still human beings.
02:18:46.000 Human beings are still curious creatures.
02:18:48.000 We're still fascinated by different things and fascinated by complicated ideas.
02:18:52.000 But it is so unique to be able to see a conversation with a scientist or a professor that's really accomplished, really brilliant mind.
02:19:02.000 Yeah.
02:19:03.000 There's really, I mean, outside of podcasts, where are you going to see that person speak uninterrupted about something that you're curious about?
02:19:10.000 It never existed before.
02:19:11.000 It never existed before.
02:19:12.000 And what's really fascinating is that, you know, for me, is that I'm the one who's doing it.
02:19:18.000 Yeah.
02:19:18.000 That's what's bizarre.
02:19:19.000 Yeah.
02:19:19.000 Because I'm an idiot and I'm a cage fighting commentator, which is a very strange combination of things to be doing.
02:19:26.000 Yeah.
02:19:26.000 But you have that curiosity, too.
02:19:28.000 But I think there's a lot of people that have that.
02:19:30.000 This is what I'm saying.
02:19:31.000 There's a lot of people that aren't intellectuals, but they aren't represented.
02:19:35.000 Their ideas and curiosity is not represented by mainstream offerings.
02:19:38.000 So when podcasts come along, like if you wanted to bring podcasts mainstream like 20 years ago, you said, I got this idea.
02:19:45.000 They'd be like, what are you talking about?
02:19:47.000 Who the fuck wants to listen to two idiots talk shit and smoke cigars for three hours?
02:19:52.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:19:53.000 Nobody.
02:19:53.000 Nobody.
02:19:54.000 And then all of a sudden it comes out and you realize this is exactly what people want.
02:19:57.000 There's a lot of that.
02:19:58.000 Yeah.
02:19:59.000 But there's also, one of the things that podcasting did was it provided an avenue of entertainment for people that are also doing other things.
02:20:06.000 Like if you're doing boring labor all day- I get those messages all the time.
02:20:10.000 Yeah.
02:20:11.000 People are like, dude, you fucking saved my life.
02:20:13.000 I had to drive to Ontario.
02:20:14.000 Yeah.
02:20:16.000 So many times, UPS, FedEx, USPS drivers, I stopped all the time.
02:20:23.000 People working, they're like, I'm in a warehouse, just driving this fucking forklift around or whatever, and they're like, I just got to listen to something.
02:20:31.000 And hearing a conversation, at times you want that more than, sometimes you want music, but sometimes you want to hear a conversation.
02:20:37.000 I love conversations.
02:20:38.000 I'm a giant consumer of podcasts as well as a listener.
02:20:43.000 But I don't, I mean, my consumption is very varied, too.
02:20:47.000 Like, I'll listen to, like, yours, I'll listen to comedy podcasts, and then I'll listen to, like, bowhunting podcasts, then I'll listen to MMA podcasts.
02:20:56.000 What's the one I just listened to that was interesting?
02:20:58.000 Let's see if I still have it.
02:20:59.000 I haven't listened to Radiolab in a long time, but that used to be one of my go-to ones.
02:21:05.000 That was one of the first times that I ever realized that some people involved in this gender stuff are completely insane.
02:21:13.000 Because there's this one person that, they were calling themselves gender fluid, and they would go back and forth from being a male to a female throughout the day.
02:21:21.000 Like, they would just decide, oh, I'm Tom now.
02:21:24.000 Oh, now I'm back to being Sally.
02:21:26.000 And they were treating it like it's totally normal.
02:21:28.000 Like, oh, I get it, Sally.
02:21:30.000 No, actually, I'm Tom now.
02:21:31.000 Oh, okay, Tom.
02:21:33.000 Okay.
02:21:33.000 You know, like, wait a minute.
02:21:35.000 You don't get to be two different people.
02:21:37.000 This is, you're literally bipolar.
02:21:39.000 Like, you have personality disorder.
02:21:41.000 You have, something's wrong with you.
02:21:42.000 Yeah.
02:21:42.000 This gender thing, though, but if you say you're two different, I'm Mike, now I'm Steve, people are like, oh, you're crazy.
02:21:49.000 Yeah.
02:21:49.000 But if you say, I'm Sally, and now I'm Tom, they go, oh, you, yeah, it's totally normal.
02:21:55.000 It's fluid.
02:21:55.000 Yeah.
02:21:55.000 Yeah.
02:21:56.000 Yeah.
02:21:56.000 And the person, like, clearly had issues.
02:22:00.000 Like, you listen, and they're, like, overly emotional about shit that didn't make sense, and they weren't speaking rationally.
02:22:05.000 Like, this is a person who's struggling with the fabric of reality itself.
02:22:10.000 Yeah.
02:22:10.000 And then we, um...
02:22:12.000 Dismiss it all, because it's a gender thing.
02:22:14.000 Like, oh, it's fine.
02:22:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:22:16.000 Whereas, I don't know, it feels like not long ago even, everybody would be like, the fuck are you talking about?
02:22:21.000 Exactly!
02:22:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:22:23.000 I wonder how we bounce back from that, because a lot of kids are growing up with this in their head.
02:22:29.000 And this is not a slight on transgender people, because I think they legitimately are, and I've met them.
02:22:34.000 There's a lot of people that legitimately are in the wrong body.
02:22:38.000 And I couldn't imagine what that's like.
02:22:40.000 But that's not what I'm saying.
02:22:41.000 What I'm saying is it also opens the door to people that are completely insane.
02:22:45.000 Yeah, that's part of...
02:22:47.000 It's like when you overcorrect, you know?
02:22:51.000 You overcompensate for something and it leaves the ability...
02:22:56.000 You have the option now...
02:22:59.000 Because there's legitimacy to it to bring in the other people.
02:23:04.000 So you're going to have people that are legitimately like this and people who are just playing in that same group and they're actually not what they're saying they are.
02:23:13.000 But when do we bounce back?
02:23:15.000 Like, how do we bounce back to a state of normalcy where we accept people that are transgender people, but we also leave the door open to people that have, like, legitimate mental illness that use, whether it's being transgender or gender fluid or anything else, as an excuse to, like,
02:23:31.000 get extra attention and to make it all about them and, you know, to, like, a form of narcissism, a form of psychotic behavior.
02:23:40.000 Yeah.
02:23:40.000 Because a lot of them, like, they decide they're women and they just start attacking other women and getting very aggressive.
02:23:49.000 I think the only thing we can do is call that out.
02:23:53.000 That's the only thing that can make this feel grounded and real, is that you have to acknowledge when something is standing out as this bullshit, you know?
02:24:03.000 This is a crazy person.
02:24:04.000 Or a hot war.
02:24:05.000 A hot war?
02:24:06.000 A nice hot war.
02:24:07.000 A real hot war would drop all that bullshit.
02:24:10.000 Nobody give a fuck about gender ideology if rockets start launching.
02:24:14.000 Holy shit.
02:24:15.000 Yeah, like a gender war?
02:24:16.000 No, no, no, no.
02:24:17.000 I don't mean a gender war.
02:24:18.000 That war would end quick.
02:24:20.000 Yeah, it sure would.
02:24:21.000 Yeah.
02:24:22.000 No, I mean a hot war like a war with Russia.
02:24:24.000 Oh, yeah.
02:24:25.000 Where you have real problems.
02:24:26.000 Well, yeah, because it does feel like some of these issues that are highly debated in progressive circles today, you go, yeah, you know where they don't really bring this up is Eastern Africa.
02:24:41.000 When there's a war zone or a famine or rockets are blowing up schools and hospitals, that shit quiets down real quick.
02:24:51.000 Real quick.
02:24:51.000 Yeah.
02:24:52.000 Yeah.
02:24:52.000 Well, first world problems.
02:24:54.000 It's interesting, though.
02:24:55.000 It's like we're sorting out all sorts of different things.
02:24:59.000 And then in the meantime, while this is happening, male sperm counts are dropping at record levels.
02:25:05.000 Balls are shrinking.
02:25:07.000 It's amazing how many people are scared to say things.
02:25:10.000 So many people are so scared.
02:25:12.000 They should be scared.
02:25:12.000 They get fired.
02:25:13.000 Yeah, they get fired.
02:25:14.000 But even, you know, like we know people in, I mean, some of them in comedy, but definitely in entertainment who are just, fuck, you see how terrified they are.
02:25:23.000 They're just terrified to say any, they're scared to have like a, just to speak a rational thought.
02:25:29.000 Because they're just like, you know, the fans are going to go against me.
02:25:32.000 I'll never get hired again.
02:25:34.000 They just, they operate in a different world.
02:25:38.000 Than podcasters and comedians do.
02:25:40.000 Yeah, we're the last front line of free speech in that regard.
02:25:43.000 Yeah.
02:25:43.000 In that we can't get fired.
02:25:45.000 Yeah.
02:25:46.000 You know?
02:25:47.000 I mean, you see, you know, employees in these companies just, like, try to bully their way through things.
02:25:52.000 And then people speak in hushed tones quietly.
02:25:55.000 You know, they get together and, like, someone will say something about gender and everybody will laugh.
02:25:58.000 Schools, too, by the way.
02:25:59.000 Oh, yeah.
02:25:59.000 I have teacher friends, you know, that are like, and they're like, oh, my God, you should see what the shit we have to deal with at school.
02:26:06.000 And they just kind of...
02:26:14.000 Have you seen the documentary What is a Woman?
02:26:30.000 No.
02:26:32.000 I haven't either.
02:26:33.000 But I keep seeing clips and they're fucking wild.
02:26:36.000 It's Matt Walsh from the Daily Wire.
02:26:39.000 Yeah.
02:26:39.000 And he made this film, What is a Woman?
02:26:42.000 And it has a 97% score on Rotten Tomatoes.
02:26:46.000 Wow.
02:26:47.000 And only has four critical reviews.
02:26:51.000 Critics.
02:26:51.000 I mean, I mean, I'm not, I mean critical.
02:26:53.000 I mean critics.
02:26:54.000 Yeah.
02:26:54.000 Critics reviewing it.
02:26:55.000 Oh, like no one will.
02:26:56.000 Everything is, 97% is all by just regular viewers.
02:27:00.000 Right.
02:27:01.000 The people that are like professional journalists that are supposed to be reviewing these things.
02:27:06.000 Won't watch it.
02:27:06.000 Only four.
02:27:07.000 And one of them was Matt Taibbi.
02:27:08.000 So Matt Taibbi wasn't I mean, he disagreed with some of it.
02:27:13.000 He wasn't necessarily critical of it, but he was critical of some aspects of it.
02:27:17.000 But he just watched it and reviewed it for what it is and was just attacked for even engaging with what this film is.
02:27:25.000 But this guy, Matt Walsh, the way he did it was very clever.
02:27:29.000 He didn't get in arguments with people.
02:27:32.000 He just asked them questions.
02:27:34.000 He just got the most rabid of these gender ideologues and he asked them all kinds of questions like, what is a woman?
02:27:43.000 How do you define a woman?
02:27:44.000 How do you know?
02:27:45.000 And then he let them talk their crazy and then put it all together in a documentary.
02:27:50.000 Wow.
02:27:50.000 And that was really like his only thing is what is a woman?
02:27:53.000 That's what he's trying to say.
02:27:55.000 How can someone become a woman?
02:27:57.000 But along the way, there's like wild shit going on now where kids identify as cats.
02:28:03.000 What?
02:28:04.000 And they want to meow in class.
02:28:06.000 Stop.
02:28:07.000 Yeah.
02:28:08.000 No, it's real.
02:28:09.000 In some places that are more open-minded.
02:28:11.000 And people go, oh, that's not everywhere.
02:28:12.000 Well, this is what we were saying about all this gender stuff four or five years ago.
02:28:16.000 Right.
02:28:17.000 And now it's everywhere.
02:28:18.000 They want to meow?
02:28:19.000 They want to meow.
02:28:20.000 They identify as animals.
02:28:21.000 But I mean, what age are we talking about?
02:28:24.000 14?
02:28:25.000 Fourteen?
02:28:26.000 I thought you were going to say like three.
02:28:27.000 No.
02:28:28.000 Because that's what my three-year-old does.
02:28:30.000 But that's just for fun.
02:28:31.000 Of course.
02:28:32.000 But you don't allow that to happen in class.
02:28:34.000 Billy, stop meowing and answer the question.
02:28:36.000 You know, who was the first president of the United States?
02:28:38.000 Meow!
02:28:39.000 Meow!
02:28:41.000 I can't tell a lie.
02:28:42.000 Meow!
02:28:43.000 No, you have to say it's fucking George Washington.
02:28:45.000 And the teacher has to respect this choice.
02:28:47.000 Yeah.
02:28:48.000 Or they get fired.
02:28:49.000 I mean, they're barely getting by anyway.
02:28:51.000 Nobody has less power to quit their job and to tell people what they really think than teachers.
02:28:58.000 Oh, my teacher friends say the same thing, yeah.
02:29:00.000 It's a terrible place to be.
02:29:01.000 They're like, I just like what I do, but it's an insane world.
02:29:06.000 And it's not what they signed up for.
02:29:08.000 No, it's not.
02:29:09.000 When they were in high school and they were in college, they're like, I think I'll be an educator.
02:29:12.000 And then they get to this place, they're like, oh my god, I'm in a cult.
02:29:15.000 Yeah.
02:29:15.000 And then any even just a hint of, I would even call it pushback, even questioning some of this.
02:29:27.000 They are then faced with, you're endangering these kids.
02:29:31.000 You're scaring them.
02:29:32.000 You might cause a kid to kill them.
02:29:34.000 They'll say wild shit to them.
02:29:36.000 That's the wild one that people always like to say.
02:29:38.000 They like to say, you're putting people in danger by criticizing them.
02:29:43.000 Oh, really?
02:29:44.000 Yeah.
02:29:44.000 That's what they'll say, too, about if you endorse the traditional beauty standard for a model, you're putting kids in danger right now because they're going to try to attain that.
02:29:57.000 Jesus Christ.
02:29:57.000 Okay.
02:29:58.000 That is such a wild assertion.
02:30:00.000 It is.
02:30:01.000 Because that censors so much thought and debate about complex and complicated issues where people disagree.
02:30:07.000 And all you have to do is conflate that with you doing a terrible thing that could literally get someone killed.
02:30:14.000 And you can get away with it.
02:30:16.000 Yeah.
02:30:17.000 Wild.
02:30:18.000 Wild.
02:30:18.000 Wild fucking times, man.
02:30:21.000 Wild times.
02:30:22.000 Because these are supposed to be the people that you rely on that are professional educators that are also professional thinkers, right?
02:30:31.000 They're supposed to be the people that are spending time thinking things through more than anybody.
02:30:36.000 Sure.
02:30:36.000 And then they're expressing those thoughts supposedly in a very well sorted out way.
02:30:42.000 Like they have the objective reality.
02:30:44.000 They have the stranglehold on it.
02:30:46.000 And that's why they're teachers.
02:30:47.000 Yeah.
02:30:48.000 That's not really true.
02:30:49.000 No.
02:30:50.000 They're kind of fucked and captured.
02:30:51.000 Yeah.
02:30:52.000 I think it's really, in this country, a pretty thankless job, too.
02:30:58.000 Yes.
02:30:58.000 People are like, why aren't you doing better?
02:31:00.000 It's almost like that's a good way to keep people stupid.
02:31:03.000 Pay teachers the least amount possible.
02:31:04.000 It's crazy.
02:31:05.000 Yeah.
02:31:05.000 And the only people that get really good teachers are people that put their kids in private schools.
02:31:09.000 Mm-hmm.
02:31:10.000 And so you get the elite, where their kids get smarter, and everybody else is kind of stuck to try to figure it out on their own.
02:31:16.000 True.
02:31:17.000 The only saving grace is that if someone does decide to seek it, you can get a pretty fucking substantial education online.
02:31:25.000 You can.
02:31:25.000 Now you can.
02:31:27.000 I mean, you can.
02:31:29.000 You can really educate yourself on anything now, which is really fascinating.
02:31:32.000 For sure.
02:31:33.000 You can definitely get a broad education.
02:31:37.000 I wonder if I would have been a better student if I were a student now.
02:31:41.000 I wouldn't have been.
02:31:43.000 I would have been sending dick pics and been on TikTok all day.
02:31:45.000 Maybe, yeah.
02:31:46.000 I don't know why I'm fantasizing.
02:31:48.000 If I had a phone at 15, you know how many dick pics of mine would be out there?
02:31:52.000 Also, it just would have been...
02:31:54.000 It would have been shut down so many times with pornography infections.
02:31:58.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:59.000 I would have been filming everything.
02:32:01.000 Street fights, car accidents.
02:32:02.000 What type of film?
02:32:03.000 Yeah.
02:32:04.000 Kids.
02:32:05.000 The things they watch.
02:32:07.000 It was hard to watch porn when I was a kid.
02:32:10.000 Yeah, it was a real challenge.
02:32:11.000 I would jerk off at Spice Channel, scrambled.
02:32:15.000 I saw a tip.
02:32:17.000 Spice Channel.
02:32:18.000 Because it would just come in for a second.
02:32:19.000 And you're like...
02:32:20.000 Yeah, people don't remember that, like, there was B-sex movies.
02:32:26.000 Yeah.
02:32:26.000 There were, like, softcore porn movies.
02:32:28.000 Yeah.
02:32:28.000 Like, Emmanuel Goes to Paris.
02:32:30.000 You remember those?
02:32:31.000 Cinemax.
02:32:32.000 Yes!
02:32:32.000 They would call it Skinemax.
02:32:34.000 Skinemax, yeah.
02:32:35.000 Yeah, and you would watch these terrible movies where a girl would, like, eventually take her clothes off.
02:32:40.000 Yeah.
02:32:40.000 And they would have...
02:32:42.000 Simulated sex where you could tell while the guy was humping her that his dick was like a foot away from her vagina.
02:32:47.000 It was like way back there.
02:32:49.000 It didn't make sense the way they would line up.
02:32:51.000 Her legs were like where his chest is.
02:32:53.000 But Spice would have real sex.
02:32:54.000 That was pay-per-view.
02:32:56.000 So I remember we would go to sleepovers across the street when I was like in, I don't know, fifth grade.
02:33:04.000 And we'd sit there and try to see.
02:33:06.000 And then one time the dad had bought Spice.
02:33:10.000 So when we put it on, it was actually on.
02:33:12.000 And it was just like masturbation factory in sleeping bags.
02:33:17.000 Everyone's doing it quietly.
02:33:18.000 You feel like shaking on the floor, but no one wanted to look at each other.
02:33:24.000 We're all like, oh my God.
02:33:26.000 We're 10 and 11 years old.
02:33:27.000 Beat off the Spice Channel.
02:33:29.000 Oh my god, yeah.
02:33:30.000 Or you'd get tapes passed down, or you'd find a tape stash.
02:33:33.000 Oh yeah.
02:33:34.000 Magazines, yeah.
02:33:35.000 It was a whole thing.
02:33:36.000 Yeah.
02:33:37.000 It is too accessible.
02:33:39.000 That is true.
02:33:40.000 For sure.
02:33:40.000 And especially for the developing mind.
02:33:42.000 The fact that you're just presented with that, because it was a discovery when we were kids.
02:33:47.000 Well, you had to seek it out originally.
02:33:49.000 Like, think about it in the early days.
02:33:51.000 You had to go to a fucking theater.
02:33:53.000 Yeah, right before, yes.
02:33:55.000 The only way you could see people fuck was go to a theater, and you had to like, look ahead, look ahead!
02:34:01.000 Everyone looked straight ahead, and then there was weirdos with raincoats on, jacking off into raincoats.
02:34:06.000 How are you going to be in that theater and not want to jack off?
02:34:08.000 If you're watching that, I mean...
02:34:09.000 Well, it's probably so crazy, too, because there was no porn back then, and now you look at porn, it's 12 feet tall.
02:34:14.000 That's got to be nuts.
02:34:16.000 Whoa!
02:34:16.000 Do you remember American Werewolf in London?
02:34:19.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:34:20.000 One of the scenes in American Werewolf in London, the final scene, he turns into a werewolf in the middle of a porn theater.
02:34:28.000 Oh.
02:34:28.000 So he's in the middle of a porn theater where he visits his dead friend.
02:34:32.000 Because his friend kept coming back from the dead to tell him, hey man, you gotta kill yourself.
02:34:36.000 You're a werewolf.
02:34:37.000 You're killing people.
02:34:39.000 Oh.
02:34:39.000 Yeah.
02:34:40.000 You don't remember that?
02:34:40.000 I don't remember that, no.
02:34:41.000 Google that scene.
02:34:42.000 It's a great scene.
02:34:43.000 Because these people...
02:34:45.000 Because this is what...
02:34:46.000 Go a little bit before that, though.
02:34:47.000 Because...
02:34:49.000 So this is the girly movie theater.
02:34:52.000 Uh-huh.
02:34:53.000 And so he's inside this theater with his butt.
02:34:56.000 This is it, because this is after it already had turned into a werewolf.
02:35:01.000 She's the lady that works there, and she's screaming at these cops that there's a monster in there, and they're telling her she's crazy.
02:35:06.000 And so this guy goes in there.
02:35:08.000 So you hear the porn's playing?
02:35:09.000 Mm-hmm.
02:35:10.000 Oh, right there.
02:35:11.000 Yeah, right there.
02:35:12.000 Oh, yeah.
02:35:13.000 Oh, yeah.
02:35:16.000 Nice.
02:35:17.000 Yeah.
02:35:19.000 He sees all the bodies on the ground.
02:35:20.000 Oh shit.
02:35:23.000 Sounds like they're making love in the background though.
02:35:31.000 I think it's a porno film playing.
02:35:33.000 There it is, see?
02:35:35.000 It's sweet.
02:35:53.000 What's that?
02:35:54.000 They stopped it right there?
02:35:55.000 That was before the wolf jumps out and rips the dude's head off.
02:35:58.000 Oh, that'd be cool.
02:35:59.000 I think I've read that the See You Next Wednesday, which is supposed to be the title of this fake movie, has been used in a few other movies.
02:36:04.000 Like, maybe Tarantino's used it in the background stuff.
02:36:07.000 Yeah, it's come up a few times.
02:36:09.000 Interesting.
02:36:11.000 Like a little nod to the film.
02:36:12.000 Yeah.
02:36:13.000 Yeah.
02:36:13.000 Great fucking movie.
02:36:14.000 I gotta watch that.
02:36:15.000 Best werewolf movie ever.
02:36:16.000 I haven't seen it in a long time.
02:36:17.000 Like my new werewolf?
02:36:18.000 That's my new werewolf out there.
02:36:19.000 Yeah.
02:36:19.000 The one outside?
02:36:20.000 It's the better one.
02:36:21.000 That is a nice one.
02:36:22.000 Yeah.
02:36:22.000 And where's the other one?
02:36:23.000 In the other room.
02:36:24.000 In the other room?
02:36:24.000 Okay.
02:36:24.000 I still have it.
02:36:25.000 Pat McGee.
02:36:26.000 He responded to the criticism of Rick Baker.
02:36:29.000 Because Rick Baker was the original makeup artist who created the werewolf.
02:36:33.000 Yeah.
02:36:33.000 Super famous makeup artist.
02:36:35.000 Yeah.
02:36:35.000 And he was on my podcast, and he's fucking amazing.
02:36:39.000 I mean, I'm a giant fan of that guy.
02:36:41.000 I wanted to be a special effects artist when I was a kid.
02:36:44.000 I wanted to do monster makeup.
02:36:46.000 I know you like to sketch and everything, right?
02:36:47.000 I wanted to do monster makeup.
02:36:49.000 That's what I wanted to do.
02:36:49.000 It was one of the things I wanted to do at one point in time.
02:36:52.000 And so when I had him on, it was like a huge treat.
02:36:54.000 But one of the things he said was that our werewolf was too big.
02:36:57.000 It was too long.
02:36:58.000 The proportions were off.
02:36:59.000 And that it was just like the way the body was...
02:37:03.000 And so Pat McGee was like, oh, fuck.
02:37:05.000 And so he went back and he made a whole new mold and created...
02:37:10.000 All the hair on it is actual animal hair.
02:37:14.000 Whereas the other one was like, it seems like carpet and then like hair around his face.
02:37:18.000 Isn't that cool though?
02:37:19.000 Like artistically that he heard the critique.
02:37:24.000 Yeah.
02:37:25.000 And then he just went for the, you know, like the varsity version of it.
02:37:31.000 Not that the first one wasn't, but just that you can always get better.
02:37:35.000 Yes.
02:37:35.000 He made it awesome.
02:37:37.000 It's like Richard Pryor telling you your jokes are whack.
02:37:41.000 Can you imagine?
02:37:42.000 Like, yeah, the joke was good, but it's too long.
02:37:44.000 He needs to edit, and you're like, oh, shit.
02:37:46.000 I better edit my jokes.
02:37:48.000 So that's what happened.
02:37:48.000 That's what happened, yeah.
02:37:49.000 So Rick Baker's like, that's not the right shape.
02:37:51.000 It's too long.
02:37:52.000 He was like, I gotta make this right.
02:37:53.000 I gotta make it right.
02:37:54.000 And he contacted me.
02:37:55.000 He's like, look, I'm making a new one.
02:37:57.000 Do you want a new one?
02:37:58.000 I'm like, fuck yeah.
02:37:59.000 Fuck yeah.
02:37:59.000 Let's go.
02:38:00.000 That's cool.
02:38:00.000 I want to take a look at it then.
02:38:02.000 It's way better.
02:38:03.000 Yeah.
02:38:03.000 It's one piece and the muscles are all right.
02:38:06.000 It's different.
02:38:07.000 It's more menacing because it's ready to pounce.
02:38:11.000 Yeah.
02:38:12.000 That's badass.
02:38:13.000 Yeah.
02:38:13.000 They haven't made a good werewolf movie in a long time.
02:38:15.000 You know what I noticed is that...
02:38:16.000 I mean, I'm sure this observation has been made, but when you watch scary movies with monsters now and aliens, they're really...
02:38:26.000 Is, like, not a lot of variation.
02:38:29.000 Because I was just watching the latest Stranger Things.
02:38:33.000 Yeah.
02:38:33.000 And you're like, oh, that just feels like that monster comes out of the shadows.
02:38:40.000 And you're like, oh, I see some, like, pirates.
02:38:44.000 And I see some predator, you know, like, mashed together.
02:38:47.000 But I guess it's almost like there's no...
02:38:50.000 A monster alien needs to have some human qualities, because when it has human qualities, you're like, it's almost us, right?
02:38:58.000 But it's a scary, terrifying version.
02:39:01.000 And they just, I don't know, like, it's fucking badass.
02:39:04.000 It's scary as shit in that thing.
02:39:05.000 But you go, there is, like, no way, almost, to create an alien that looks so different from what we've already seen.
02:39:13.000 They all kind of feel like they're made from the same...
02:39:17.000 Sketch.
02:39:18.000 Yeah, I guess, remember The Blob?
02:39:21.000 Uh, no.
02:39:22.000 That was their answer for it in like the 1950s was The Blob.
02:39:26.000 It was basically like Jell-O killing people.
02:39:28.000 Oh, right.
02:39:29.000 That's definitely not as good.
02:39:31.000 No, it's not as good.
02:39:32.000 And this one is scary as fuck.
02:39:33.000 I'm not even saying it's not scary.
02:39:34.000 It just doesn't, you just go like, this just feels like a variation of what we've seen.
02:39:39.000 You know, I finally watched A Quiet Place.
02:39:43.000 Oh, yeah.
02:39:44.000 I never saw that before.
02:39:46.000 That's the one with Krasinski, right?
02:39:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:39:49.000 I saw the first one.
02:39:50.000 I haven't seen the...
02:39:51.000 I haven't seen the second one either, but I saw the first one for the first time.
02:39:53.000 Great concept, too.
02:39:54.000 Oh, my God, it's great.
02:39:55.000 And I love the fact they don't even tell you the origin story.
02:39:58.000 Yeah.
02:39:58.000 It's just like, obviously, something terrible has happened.
02:40:01.000 These people are fucked, and they can barely talk.
02:40:03.000 Yeah.
02:40:04.000 The thing, though, when they had the actual monsters, like, the monsters are pretty fucking creative.
02:40:11.000 Pretty interesting.
02:40:12.000 And that lady's hot as the sun.
02:40:14.000 Who's that?
02:40:15.000 Emily Blunt?
02:40:16.000 She's hot.
02:40:18.000 That's his, uh...
02:40:19.000 That's his real wife.
02:40:20.000 That's his wife in real life?
02:40:20.000 Yeah.
02:40:21.000 Well, there you go.
02:40:22.000 Yeah.
02:40:22.000 Good for him.
02:40:23.000 He did well.
02:40:24.000 Yeah.
02:40:25.000 It's a fucked up movie.
02:40:27.000 Really interesting movie.
02:40:28.000 There's a few moments I'm like, come on, you're being a little inconsistent here.
02:40:32.000 Yeah.
02:40:33.000 Yeah.
02:40:33.000 But it's good.
02:40:34.000 It's fun.
02:40:34.000 Yeah.
02:40:35.000 There's two of those moments in the second when you're like, all right.
02:40:37.000 Don't tell me that, Jay.
02:40:38.000 Shut up.
02:40:39.000 It's a good movie.
02:40:40.000 I just saw it.
02:40:41.000 You've already ruined it.
02:40:42.000 I'm looking for two moments now.
02:40:43.000 I get one, I'm like, where's the other one?
02:40:45.000 In my opinion, there's two then.
02:40:49.000 It's just the concept is cool.
02:40:52.000 Just the aliens themselves are fucking interesting.
02:40:54.000 They're just so fucking wild looking.
02:40:56.000 Yeah.
02:40:57.000 You remember the one, what was the Spanish one that had, you know, Guillermo- Yes, Pan's Labyrinth.
02:41:07.000 Pan's Labyrinth.
02:41:07.000 Yeah.
02:41:08.000 That was fucking amazing.
02:41:09.000 Pan's Labyrinth was amazing.
02:41:11.000 I love that movie.
02:41:12.000 Guillermo del Toro makes some cool shit.
02:41:14.000 He does.
02:41:15.000 You know, he wrote an interesting book, The Strain, that they turned into like a series on FX. I read the book, and I remember reading the book, and like halfway into the book, it's almost like he just wanted to finish it.
02:41:27.000 Oh, really?
02:41:28.000 The second half of the book is just like a bunch of action shit, and then he killed him, and then this guy died, and then he grabbed him by the neck and cut his neck off.
02:41:35.000 Like he just stopped.
02:41:35.000 It's just like the beginning had so much suspense.
02:41:39.000 Do you know the story behind it?
02:41:40.000 Nuh-uh.
02:41:40.000 It's a great story.
02:41:41.000 The story is that this guy is...
02:41:44.000 Yeah, that's the television show.
02:41:46.000 The guy was...
02:41:48.000 There was a plane, and this plane lands, and no one's getting off the plane, and no one's responding, and they don't know what the fuck is happening.
02:41:57.000 Yeah.
02:41:57.000 And they get on the plane and they look around and everyone's dead.
02:42:01.000 The whole, like, everyone's dead.
02:42:03.000 They don't know what the fuck happened.
02:42:04.000 And it turned out that there was a vampire on the plane.
02:42:08.000 And this vampire infected these people and then some of them, spoiler alert, you know, they become vampires and run around killing people.
02:42:18.000 But the way they become vampires is very different than any other vampire they've ever seen before.
02:42:22.000 Like, their tongue comes out of their mouth and, like, grabs a hold of people and...
02:42:26.000 Yeah, it was a great first half of a book.
02:42:31.000 There's so many films like that, particularly in the thriller genre.
02:42:35.000 Because the whole thing about a thriller is the reveal, right?
02:42:41.000 There's mystery, there's suspense, and that's when you'll get disappointed by...
02:42:46.000 That's why there's basically one or two good ones, I wouldn't even say every year, maybe every couple years, where you're like, that's fucking phenomenal.
02:42:54.000 It's because they...
02:42:55.000 They do the setup right, and they build the suspense, and then sometimes on the reveal you go, that's it?
02:43:01.000 That's the answer?
02:43:02.000 Like, it's that they were hiding in the other room?
02:43:05.000 Like, you know, because you have to reveal it in a way that makes you go like, oh my god, and that's the hardest part of that.
02:43:10.000 It's the hardest part of writing it, and it's definitely the hardest part of, like, showing it cinematically, is making it engaging and interesting.
02:43:18.000 Yeah, it's just hard for them to nail a monster movie.
02:43:23.000 Yeah, it's tough.
02:43:24.000 Monster movies are probably the hardest to nail because it has to not be ridiculous.
02:43:28.000 Right.
02:43:29.000 And it can't really even be too much CGI because CGI kind of looks corny.
02:43:32.000 No, you need the reveal to be like, yeah, it's got to be...
02:43:37.000 It's got to be built up the right way, where you don't know what's what.
02:43:42.000 I was just thinking about The Fugitive.
02:43:44.000 Remember The Fugitive?
02:43:46.000 And how that was a hit movie.
02:43:48.000 But the great thing about it is you have suspicions, but you're not entirely sure.
02:43:54.000 And then the reveal, piece by piece comes together.
02:43:59.000 So you have to get that feeling that you go like, oh...
02:44:04.000 And it has to be plausible and believable.
02:44:08.000 That's the other way that you get fucked on a thriller as a book or a film, is if the resolution and the reveal is so far-fetched, you go, well, you just found an answer, but you just kind of made up things,
02:44:25.000 things that don't happen.
02:44:27.000 The details of that, it's a fucking skill, man.
02:44:30.000 Yeah, writing, that's why Stephen King is the greatest.
02:44:33.000 Yeah.
02:44:34.000 Because his books, in particular the ones when he was doing Coke, the old days, the old good ones, those books, he takes you on this journey of the mind that's so bizarre.
02:44:45.000 I feel like he was the one that recently, I don't know if it was him, so I might be labeling it wrong, that said that they write where they know the end.
02:44:52.000 Because some writers write differently than that, where he knows the end and then...
02:44:56.000 Writes towards it?
02:44:57.000 Yeah, writes towards it and goes, like, I just need to get myself in some shit, right?
02:45:01.000 You have to find your conflict.
02:45:03.000 How do I get out?
02:45:03.000 But I know I want it to end with this.
02:45:06.000 That's one way to write it.
02:45:07.000 And then, you know, the other way to write is you just...
02:45:09.000 Write as you're going.
02:45:10.000 As you're going, yeah.
02:45:11.000 Yeah, that's probably fun, because you don't even know what the fuck is going to happen.
02:45:15.000 You have to decide.
02:45:15.000 How to do it.
02:45:16.000 Yeah.
02:45:17.000 What a fucking time-consuming endeavor, though.
02:45:19.000 And no one knows it better than you now, because you did it.
02:45:21.000 I did it.
02:45:22.000 But you didn't write fiction.
02:45:23.000 No.
02:45:23.000 Which is even crazier.
02:45:24.000 I did stories, and I wrote a chapter on my dad and my mom.
02:45:30.000 I wrote a chapter about how I thought I was going to be a doctor when I was a kid.
02:45:33.000 It's called Paging Doctor Stupid, because I didn't realize how fucking dumb I was.
02:45:38.000 I mean, you know, you just start writing.
02:45:41.000 I mean, they're fun chapters to write.
02:45:43.000 I wrote about a chapter about finding a body, you know, when I was just out of college at home and I went with my sister on a drive to go see friends and she noticed something in a field, you know, and she made me turn around.
02:45:59.000 I didn't want to turn around.
02:46:01.000 I just didn't want to turn.
02:46:02.000 I was like, no, it's one-way streets.
02:46:04.000 But she pleaded with me, so I did it.
02:46:06.000 And then we pulled over and found a motorcycle.
02:46:09.000 That's what she had seen.
02:46:10.000 It was a motorcycle with the headlights still on.
02:46:12.000 And then we looked around, and then there was somebody laying there.
02:46:15.000 And we called 911, and I go up to the body.
02:46:21.000 I'm so scared to find a body or to approach a body that I'm like, this is a dead person.
02:46:26.000 And I start going, sir, which is true.
02:46:29.000 You think you're going to be like, hey, are you okay?
02:46:33.000 But I was like, sir, sir.
02:46:35.000 And I went up and I just touched his shoulder with my index finger.
02:46:39.000 And I did it twice.
02:46:41.000 And then he started to grunt.
02:46:43.000 So I just kept saying, don't move, you know, because I just heard that before, don't move.
02:46:48.000 And he sat up.
02:46:50.000 He pushed himself up and when he sat up, the top of his head just flapped open.
02:46:55.000 I was like, oh my god.
02:46:58.000 And then, I mean, a helicopter came and landed in that field, you know, police, ambulance, everything.
02:47:04.000 It was fucking wild.
02:47:05.000 So the skull?
02:47:06.000 It was like skin flap, you know, and just like wide open.
02:47:11.000 So you just saw the skull.
02:47:12.000 You didn't see the brains.
02:47:13.000 Yeah.
02:47:14.000 But I mean, I'm sure there was some sticking out of there.
02:47:16.000 I was just like, what the fuck?
02:47:17.000 Just blood everywhere.
02:47:18.000 And they met him.
02:47:19.000 You know, the helicopter took him out.
02:47:20.000 Did he live?
02:47:21.000 Yeah, he lived.
02:47:22.000 Really?
02:47:23.000 He lived, yeah.
02:47:23.000 And that's not a body.
02:47:24.000 That's a person.
02:47:25.000 Well, it was a body when I first saw it.
02:47:29.000 Yeah, I write about ODing.
02:47:33.000 How did you OD? What were you on?
02:47:35.000 GHB. I took a bunch of that, the date rape drug, but I gave it to myself, so I'm not a bad person.
02:47:41.000 And I drank a lot, which is the deadly combination.
02:47:44.000 Even the dealers that would sell it to you, which is rare, they'd be like, don't drink on this, because the combination was lethal.
02:47:54.000 I think I had 14 fucking screwdrivers that night.
02:47:57.000 Oh my god.
02:47:58.000 NGHB? Yeah.
02:47:59.000 Whoa.
02:48:00.000 Super high dosage.
02:48:01.000 Oh my god.
02:48:02.000 And I ended up...
02:48:03.000 In a hospital?
02:48:04.000 In a coma, yeah.
02:48:06.000 For how long?
02:48:06.000 The coma was 8, 10 hours.
02:48:09.000 But they had a vigil at the hospital, people praying and all this shit.
02:48:14.000 Yeah.
02:48:15.000 And then you have to go through people being like, oh, you're a junkie.
02:48:18.000 Oh, boy, because you overdosed.
02:48:20.000 Yeah, and you're like, no.
02:48:22.000 I was a freshman in college, so I was 18, 19. Yeah, it was bad.
02:48:27.000 Jesus Christ.
02:48:28.000 It was bad.
02:48:29.000 Some people thought you had a problem after that.
02:48:31.000 Oh, yeah.
02:48:32.000 Yeah.
02:48:32.000 I mean, some people only knew you as that.
02:48:34.000 You know what I mean?
02:48:34.000 Right, the guy who overdosed.
02:48:35.000 You're like, oh, you're that fucking drug addict.
02:48:38.000 You know?
02:48:39.000 Jesus Christ.
02:48:40.000 Oh, man.
02:48:40.000 Yeah, that was rough.
02:48:42.000 Was it a thing when you wrote this?
02:48:44.000 Did you have an outline of stories you definitely wanted to get in there?
02:48:48.000 Or did you just sit down and say, I've got a book to write?
02:48:51.000 Yes.
02:48:51.000 Let me think of some...
02:48:52.000 A few things that I was like, I definitely...
02:48:55.000 Let me see that.
02:48:56.000 I definitely was like, I know I want to write some of these stories...
02:49:00.000 I knew I wanted to write one about my dad.
02:49:04.000 And then I had these consistent things throughout the book where between those longer stories and essays, I drop in chapters about famous people I've flown with who are mostly black.
02:49:18.000 Did you know the Tyson story where you told them you love them?
02:49:21.000 Bruce Bruce, Chris Tucker, Serena Williams, Jill Scott, who I was with you when I ran into Jill Scott again.
02:49:27.000 Do you remember that?
02:49:27.000 Yeah.
02:49:28.000 We had just done, I think it was...
02:49:30.000 Maybe the New Orleans gig?
02:49:32.000 And I had just finished writing the chapter about Jill Scott.
02:49:35.000 And I was like...
02:49:37.000 And then I see Jill Scott in the green room afterwards with everybody.
02:49:41.000 And I'm like...
02:49:43.000 The chapter about her, I start saying that my proof that I definitely met her is that I say Jill Scott hates salmon.
02:49:55.000 And I went up to her and I go, hey, I just wrote the chapter about when we flew together.
02:49:58.000 And she was like, okay.
02:50:00.000 I go, we flew together from LA to Nashville, like, I don't know, eight, ten years ago.
02:50:06.000 And she was like, okay.
02:50:07.000 I go, do you want to know how I'm not lying?
02:50:08.000 She goes, how?
02:50:09.000 I go, you hate salmon.
02:50:10.000 She goes, I don't fuck with anything pink.
02:50:12.000 That's what she said.
02:50:17.000 That's hilarious!
02:50:19.000 There's just chapters about that.
02:50:21.000 I have a whole Road Stories chapter, Working for America's Most Wanted.
02:50:27.000 I have a chapter on that.
02:50:28.000 You worked for America's Most Wanted?
02:50:30.000 Yeah.
02:50:30.000 What did you do?
02:50:31.000 I was a researcher.
02:50:33.000 I would research criminals and stories for us to profile, and then I would pitch them to the story editor.
02:50:39.000 What year was this?
02:50:41.000 Dude, you know what my first day was?
02:50:43.000 September 10th, 2001. Whoa!
02:50:46.000 So, it went from, you know, mostly crazy fugitives, and then we pivoted hard to terrorism.
02:50:56.000 And people were like, what do you mean?
02:50:57.000 I'm like, dude, the show, what we did after that was we'd just show, like, Bin Laden every week.
02:51:01.000 We're like, we gotta get this motherfucker, you know?
02:51:02.000 Like, that was the show.
02:51:03.000 I would go to the White House, and we would be on the- You would go to the White House?
02:51:07.000 Yeah, I would be at the West Wing lawn.
02:51:09.000 How old were you back then?
02:51:11.000 I was just out of college, so 21, 22. It was right before I moved here.
02:51:16.000 Wow.
02:51:17.000 Right before you moved to L.A., you mean?
02:51:19.000 Sorry, to L.A. I graduated college.
02:51:23.000 My friend's in Boston doing real estate.
02:51:25.000 He's like, come up here and get this money.
02:51:27.000 And I was like, okay, because it's the easiest fucking way to make money is you go work for a real estate place in Boston specifically.
02:51:34.000 Because Boston has 61 colleges and universities, meaning there's always a need for housing on top of being a major city.
02:51:42.000 And the easiest thing to do is you just show an apartment.
02:51:44.000 And when somebody rents that apartment, they have to pay first, last, and equivalent of one month to the real estate office that showed it.
02:51:51.000 And then you split that.
02:51:53.000 With the real estate office.
02:51:55.000 So if you're fucking right out of college, and you're even just hustling, you don't even have to be skilled, just hustling, showing up every day, you're making thousands of dollars a week.
02:52:04.000 But I even knew then that I didn't want to do it.
02:52:07.000 Like I was making great money for a kid just out of college, and I was like, I just knew I didn't want to do that.
02:52:13.000 You didn't just want to make money.
02:52:14.000 I didn't just want to make money.
02:52:16.000 I didn't want to make money doing that specifically.
02:52:19.000 And I had interned at America's Most Wanted in college for a summer.
02:52:24.000 Really?
02:52:25.000 Yeah.
02:52:25.000 And I was actually a producer on a spin-off show called Final Justice.
02:52:29.000 So I was producing episodes of that.
02:52:31.000 So when I called them, they go, we want to offer you a job.
02:52:36.000 As a researcher on the big show, on AMW, they called it.
02:52:39.000 And so I went down there, did September 10th, and then September 11th, obviously.
02:52:44.000 I mean, the show's in D.C., so I'm in College Park, living in a house in Maryland, driving into D.C. on September 11th, you know, and it was just fucking chaos.
02:52:55.000 I mean, the Pentagon's there, it's like, and we just, I was there 20 hours that day.
02:52:59.000 It was fucking so nuts.
02:53:01.000 And then I just realized after three months of doing that, I was like, I don't want to do this either.
02:53:05.000 So I packed up a truck and just drove out to L.A. Wow.
02:53:10.000 And when you packed up the truck driving off to L.A., what were you thinking?
02:53:13.000 I really thought, I was like, okay, I kind of want to be a comedic actor, but maybe I thought maybe I would be more in the directing, like behind the camera kind of person, too.
02:53:26.000 Did you have any theatrical experience?
02:53:28.000 I had only done, I had done like a couple, I did an improv troupe thing in like high school, not even in college.
02:53:36.000 I made funny videos because I was a comm major, so everyone would make like serious videos and I would always hand in like comedic ones.
02:53:43.000 And I had done a play one time also when I was like, I don't know, like 13 or something like that.
02:53:49.000 So that was it.
02:53:50.000 But I was like, you know, I felt like I'll do the Groundlings.
02:53:54.000 And I had read that that's where like SNL picks up people.
02:53:57.000 I was like, oh, that's what I'll do.
02:53:58.000 I'll just do that.
02:53:59.000 So I interned at Copelson Entertainment, which is making big movies.
02:54:04.000 And I was learning that like script reading and doctoring scripts and then going to the Groundlings.
02:54:09.000 But you know who was in my first my Groundlings class was Sam Tripoli.
02:54:13.000 Really?
02:54:14.000 Yeah.
02:54:14.000 I was 22, and he was probably seven, eight years older than me.
02:54:19.000 And it was like two or three classes in.
02:54:21.000 He's like, you need to do stand-up, bro.
02:54:22.000 Gotta get out there and gig.
02:54:23.000 Fight.
02:54:23.000 Fucking fight crime.
02:54:25.000 Fight crime?
02:54:26.000 That's such a Tripoli thing to say.
02:54:28.000 Yeah, and I was like, what?
02:54:29.000 And he goes, you'd like it, bro.
02:54:30.000 You'd like it.
02:54:31.000 And then he took me around.
02:54:32.000 I watched him do stand-up.
02:54:34.000 So Tripoli talked you into doing stand-up?
02:54:36.000 Yeah.
02:54:37.000 Wow.
02:54:38.000 That's amazing.
02:54:39.000 Yeah.
02:54:40.000 That's amazing.
02:54:42.000 Wow.
02:54:43.000 I love that dude.
02:54:45.000 He's great.
02:54:45.000 It was fun to see him last week.
02:54:46.000 Yeah, it was great to see him at your party.
02:54:49.000 He's a fun dude.
02:54:50.000 We've got twins, Ninja, and Ghost.
02:54:51.000 I'm like, what?
02:54:52.000 It's kids named Ninja and Ghost.
02:54:54.000 I think they're nicknames.
02:54:56.000 But yeah, it's very Sam.
02:54:58.000 He's a character.
02:54:59.000 So where was your first place you went on stage?
02:55:02.000 It's no longer there.
02:55:03.000 It was called The Good Bar.
02:55:05.000 It was right on sunset.
02:55:06.000 It was right before...
02:55:07.000 You know that on sunset when you're heading west, there's a sign that says you're entering Beverly Hills.
02:55:12.000 But before that, there was a building there and a bank, and there was a bar called The Good Bar.
02:55:18.000 That was the first time I did stand-up.
02:55:20.000 Was it an open mic night?
02:55:21.000 It was a booked bringer slash you're not experienced comic show.
02:55:30.000 How did you get up?
02:55:31.000 How did it work?
02:55:34.000 Nick Wegener, who is a writer now, a comedy writer, does very well.
02:55:38.000 He was also in that class.
02:55:41.000 He had heard me talking about wanting to do it.
02:55:43.000 So he took me around, introduced me to a woman named Kathy Knicky.
02:55:48.000 When he introduced me, he goes, this is Tom, he's a comic.
02:55:50.000 And she was doing something.
02:55:51.000 And she goes, oh, you want to do the show April 9th?
02:55:53.000 And I was like, yeah.
02:55:55.000 And then she didn't ask me anything.
02:55:57.000 So he was like, okay, you're booked for a show now.
02:56:00.000 And the craziest thing was I was so goddamn nervous for that show, that first show.
02:56:05.000 And I get there probably fucking an hour and a half early, you know, when you're just like, oh my god.
02:56:11.000 And I go, when am I up?
02:56:12.000 When am I up?
02:56:13.000 And they have the order.
02:56:15.000 And it's like, one, two, three, four.
02:56:16.000 He's like, you're seventh.
02:56:17.000 And I was like, okay.
02:56:18.000 So I have like all this time to keep freaking out.
02:56:23.000 And I hear this, you know, the emcee, the host doing her bits.
02:56:28.000 And then she's like, all right, let's bring up your first comic.
02:56:32.000 Tom Segura, Segura, Segura.
02:56:35.000 And I'm like, what?
02:56:36.000 And they're like, they're calling you.
02:56:37.000 And I walk up and as I'm shaking her hand, I go, I thought I was seventh.
02:56:41.000 And she looks down and she goes, oh yeah.
02:56:43.000 And then she just walked off.
02:56:44.000 And I was like...
02:56:45.000 But I think I was actually good.
02:56:47.000 Because I didn't get...
02:56:48.000 You didn't have a chance to get nervous?
02:56:49.000 Yeah.
02:56:49.000 It just freaked me out.
02:56:51.000 Wow.
02:56:51.000 You know how dumb I was?
02:56:52.000 How?
02:56:52.000 I fucking invited people to that show and I go...
02:56:55.000 I didn't tell them.
02:56:56.000 I go, I do stand-up.
02:56:57.000 Do you want to see me do stand-up?
02:56:58.000 Oh my God!
02:56:59.000 Instead of saying, this is my first time doing stand-up.
02:57:01.000 Wow.
02:57:03.000 And I have it on tape.
02:57:04.000 I gotta put it up sometime.
02:57:05.000 You got it on tape?
02:57:06.000 What was your first joke?
02:57:08.000 I don't remember because I haven't seen it in forever.
02:57:12.000 I know I talked about how my dick points to the left at some point.
02:57:17.000 You know, it hasn't really progressed.
02:57:19.000 That's hilarious.
02:57:20.000 But I do remember, you know, I remember the fucking stupidity to be like, you guys should come watch me do stand-up.
02:57:27.000 You were what, 22?
02:57:29.000 Maybe I just turned 23. That's a good time because your brain's not fully formed.
02:57:33.000 No.
02:57:33.000 You still can do risky things.
02:57:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:57:36.000 When people start, like Robert Schimmel, who was one of the greats, started stand-up when he was 36. That's wild.
02:57:42.000 Was he really?
02:57:43.000 Yeah.
02:57:44.000 Yeah.
02:57:46.000 That's insane.
02:57:47.000 I hope I'm right about that, but I'm pretty sure I am.
02:57:52.000 That's different.
02:57:53.000 It is.
02:57:54.000 You know, especially a lot of people are married and they have children, they have jobs, and that's a crazy dream to want to do stand-up.
02:58:01.000 Yeah.
02:58:01.000 You know?
02:58:03.000 Yeah.
02:58:03.000 Crazy dream.
02:58:04.000 Yeah, I think Kirk Fox told me he started in his 30s, too.
02:58:07.000 He's super funny.
02:58:08.000 We do gigs all the time together.
02:58:10.000 He's very funny.
02:58:11.000 Very funny.
02:58:11.000 Super smart guy.
02:58:13.000 And, yeah, he just wasn't, you know, he was a tennis pro.
02:58:16.000 He probably didn't think of it.
02:58:19.000 And then he did acting, and then I think he just, I forget if he tried it by chance or if somebody was like, you should try it.
02:58:24.000 But he did it, and then he got hooked, you know.
02:58:26.000 He got...
02:58:27.000 Yeah.
02:58:27.000 Got bit by it.
02:58:28.000 But he was in his 30s, I think.
02:58:31.000 It's really tough for people to change gears once they're already a fully formed adult.
02:58:37.000 And people that you grew up with, that went to college with, they have full-blown careers.
02:58:41.000 Yeah.
02:58:42.000 And then you're going to become a beginner at something as ridiculous as comedy.
02:58:46.000 Yeah.
02:58:47.000 Fucking crazy.
02:58:48.000 We're so lucky we got in early.
02:58:50.000 You know what else we're lucky we got in early?
02:58:52.000 Podcasting.
02:58:53.000 Yeah, dude.
02:58:54.000 Jesus Christ.
02:58:55.000 Imagine trying to do it now.
02:58:56.000 We pulled it up the other day.
02:58:58.000 Four million podcasts now.
02:59:00.000 Four million?
02:59:01.000 There's four million different podcasts.
02:59:02.000 Isn't it crazy of the number one of four million?
02:59:05.000 It's crazy.
02:59:05.000 That's really crazy.
02:59:06.000 It doesn't make sense.
02:59:07.000 I don't understand it.
02:59:10.000 Genuinely don't understand.
02:59:11.000 Number one of four million.
02:59:13.000 But I'm not stopping now, bitch.
02:59:15.000 I understand what's going on.
02:59:16.000 Yeah, yeah, of course.
02:59:17.000 You gotta keep going.
02:59:18.000 Yeah.
02:59:19.000 Like, if you tried to jump in now and, like, take over the podcast game, there's too many options.
02:59:25.000 Like, I have a certain, like I was telling before, I have a certain amount of podcasts that I listen to.
02:59:29.000 Yeah.
02:59:29.000 And I just go to my phone and go, oh, I'll try that one.
02:59:31.000 And I listen to it.
02:59:32.000 But it's hard for me to get a new one.
02:59:35.000 Yeah.
02:59:35.000 Like, a new one to get into my lineup.
02:59:37.000 There's too many good ones out there.
02:59:38.000 Yeah.
02:59:39.000 And I feel like that's the bottleneck today.
02:59:41.000 The only thing that could save you It's like coming on a podcast like yours or mine or someone else's that already has an audience.
02:59:48.000 Yeah.
02:59:49.000 And then, you know, then you can kind of get people to come over to you.
02:59:54.000 I mean, you really got to kind of catch magic, you know, like lightning to have it.
03:00:01.000 You either have to be like such a unique talent or your angle has to be so unique.
03:00:06.000 Yeah.
03:00:06.000 I think if you go like, I do the sit around and talk thing.
03:00:10.000 I just talk to people.
03:00:12.000 I mean, you could do it, dude.
03:00:13.000 I mean, I don't want to talk anyone out of it, but are you either such a compelling interviewer or commentator that it's going to get an audience?
03:00:22.000 I used to tell everybody they should have their own podcast, and now I don't.
03:00:26.000 Really?
03:00:27.000 Now I'm like, oh, I mean, I guess you can try.
03:00:30.000 Yeah, it's tough.
03:00:31.000 Now I'm like, the fucking pool is so deep.
03:00:34.000 It's deep, yeah.
03:00:35.000 It's really deep.
03:00:37.000 There's not four million comics.
03:00:39.000 Fuck no.
03:00:40.000 Fuck no.
03:00:41.000 No way.
03:00:41.000 Not even close.
03:00:43.000 No.
03:00:43.000 But there's four million podcasts.
03:00:45.000 That's fucking wild.
03:00:46.000 I wonder if you broke those down, how many you would consider a, let's just say, a professional podcast.
03:00:52.000 Do you know what I mean?
03:00:52.000 I don't know, because this one wasn't professional.
03:00:54.000 You were there for one of the earliest episodes.
03:00:56.000 Yeah, I was definitely in the first seven.
03:00:57.000 I remember you were making fun of me.
03:00:59.000 You were like, what the fuck are you doing?
03:01:01.000 Dude, I left there and I was like, why is he doing this?
03:01:06.000 To Redband.
03:01:07.000 I was like, what is this?
03:01:08.000 And he's like, I don't know.
03:01:09.000 Even Redband didn't know why I was doing it.
03:01:11.000 Especially when I wanted to do more than one a week.
03:01:14.000 I was like, who is listening to this?
03:01:15.000 And you're like, the message boards.
03:01:17.000 I was like, the message boards?
03:01:18.000 You're like, a lot of people are listening, man.
03:01:19.000 I'm like, okay.
03:01:21.000 A lot of people was like a thousand people.
03:01:23.000 But you know, you had the float tank.
03:01:24.000 I was like, this guy's out of his mind.
03:01:26.000 Just let him do his thing.
03:01:28.000 He's got a float tank.
03:01:30.000 He's talking in his office.
03:01:32.000 And I was trying to talk everybody else into doing a podcast, too.
03:01:35.000 Yes, you did.
03:01:35.000 You were 1,000% instrumental in me starting one.
03:01:40.000 I started it in 2010, at the end of 2010. And it was because every time I saw you, every time we worked together on the flight, you got to do a podcast, man.
03:01:49.000 You got to do a podcast.
03:01:50.000 And I was like, yeah, all right, all right.
03:01:51.000 And I just kept, okay, I was thinking about it.
03:01:54.000 And then I finally was like, okay, I'm going to do it.
03:01:56.000 And then Brian made it easy because he was like, just come over.
03:01:59.000 I'll set you up.
03:02:00.000 Just sit down.
03:02:00.000 Yeah.
03:02:01.000 I felt like there was a magnet that was pulling me in a general direction.
03:02:08.000 I felt like there was something going on with that.
03:02:11.000 And I never thought it would ever be what it is.
03:02:14.000 Yeah, how can you?
03:02:15.000 You can't.
03:02:16.000 I'll never say I saw that, but I did Feel compelled to do it.
03:02:20.000 That, I think, is very clear, looking back.
03:02:23.000 It feels like you felt that.
03:02:27.000 I remember how quickly you took it seriously.
03:02:32.000 You took it like I'm working out, I'm training, and I don't fuck around when I train.
03:02:38.000 You had the same approach.
03:02:41.000 Once the wheel started to turn a little bit, you were like, Dude, I podcast.
03:02:45.000 I do this all the time, multiple times a week, hours at a time.
03:02:50.000 It was like, oh, you had a different drive to do it that felt like something was drawing you towards it.
03:02:55.000 It was very weird.
03:02:56.000 It's very weird now, knowing how it turned out.
03:02:59.000 You know?
03:03:01.000 And I would like to say that I saw it coming.
03:03:03.000 I definitely didn't.
03:03:04.000 But I, for sure, felt compelled.
03:03:08.000 I've just always been a person that, for whatever reason, I go on instincts.
03:03:13.000 Yeah.
03:03:14.000 Like, when I bailed out of LA, I'm like, uh-uh, I see this is going, this is not going the way I think it should go.
03:03:20.000 I gotta get out of here.
03:03:21.000 Jumped out.
03:03:21.000 I'm like, this is a fucked up city.
03:03:23.000 You gotta get out of here.
03:03:24.000 This is not serving us anymore.
03:03:26.000 Yeah.
03:03:26.000 But that's for a lot of things.
03:03:28.000 When I started doing stand-up, it was the same thing.
03:03:30.000 I'm like, I was fucking terrible when I started out.
03:03:32.000 But I was like, I got to do this.
03:03:33.000 This is my thing.
03:03:34.000 That's a real, I think, common thing for stand-ups.
03:03:37.000 I feel like I have to keep doing this.
03:03:39.000 Yeah.
03:03:39.000 You feel drawn.
03:03:41.000 You feel like there's something about it that if you just get a chuckle, just get a couple of laughs, and then you feel like maybe I could build on that.
03:03:49.000 Oh, my God.
03:03:50.000 My second set that I ever did, I got laughs.
03:03:52.000 Yeah?
03:03:53.000 Yeah.
03:03:53.000 I remember it was way better than my first set.
03:03:56.000 My first set, I was clunky and nervous and weird, but my second set, I was accustomed to the sound and the lights and the whole deal, and I had a little bit of an experience of doing the first one to ride on, and then I got laughs.
03:04:11.000 I remember doing my second set, I was like, I'm going to be a comedian.
03:04:15.000 Oh, yeah.
03:04:16.000 I remember the opposite almost.
03:04:18.000 I remember getting laughs.
03:04:19.000 Like, not killing, but just getting laughs and laughs and having done, let's say, four, five, six, seven sets.
03:04:26.000 I'm like, oh, I got a grip on this.
03:04:28.000 And having the first shit set where it just feels like someone punched you in the stomach.
03:04:35.000 So it actually took me just a few sets to get there, and it is...
03:04:40.000 The thing is that it really kicks you down, but the immediate thing you recognize, you're like, I have to do this again so I can wash that off.
03:04:48.000 Also, I was like, something must have been wrong with them.
03:04:52.000 I was like, I don't know why this didn't work tonight.
03:04:55.000 I remember also the big transition was transitioning from open mics to doing a paid show.
03:05:02.000 Oh, yeah.
03:05:02.000 The difference in the expectations of the audience, the difference in the level of the comedians you are working with.
03:05:08.000 And I was realizing like, oh, I'm on like Bambi deer legs.
03:05:13.000 I'm Bambi walking on ice.
03:05:16.000 Yeah.
03:05:16.000 I remember I got 50 bucks.
03:05:19.000 The first time I got that was, I think, at an improv.
03:05:22.000 And it was two years in, and I just was like, holy shit, this is such other level.
03:05:28.000 Yes, different.
03:05:29.000 And I've unfortunately found that out by taking guys on the road, too.
03:05:34.000 Guys that were doing pretty good at bringer shows and pretty good at small local shows.
03:05:39.000 Then I'd take them and I'd bring them in front of a theater in front of 3,000 people and they'd just clam up.
03:05:45.000 And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, you have to have your bits.
03:05:48.000 Do you plan your bits out?
03:05:49.000 Do you listen to recordings?
03:05:51.000 You've got to record yourself.
03:05:52.000 And I would tell a few of them, and a few of them I had to just stop helping.
03:05:56.000 I was like, you're not doing enough.
03:05:57.000 I know.
03:05:58.000 I can't help you.
03:05:59.000 I've run into the same thing over the years.
03:06:01.000 It's very unfortunate, because they have a crazy opportunity.
03:06:04.000 If I'm putting you out there, there's some guys that fucking run with it, like Hans Kim, that motherfucker runs with it.
03:06:11.000 Ally Makovsky, she ran with it.
03:06:12.000 A lot of people are like, run with it.
03:06:14.000 And some people just don't work.
03:06:18.000 They're lazy, and they're happy that you're taking them on the road with them, but then they're doing the same material every place.
03:06:23.000 There's that, and there's also you go, you're just chopping it up with someone, and you're like, when was the last time you did stand-up?
03:06:29.000 And they're like, the last time we worked together.
03:06:30.000 And you're like, what?
03:06:32.000 That was months ago.
03:06:33.000 Yeah.
03:06:34.000 That's crazy.
03:06:34.000 Yeah.
03:06:35.000 Yeah.
03:06:35.000 You can't do that.
03:06:36.000 I had a friend of mine show up at one of my shows in Seattle, and he's like, dude, I know I could kill in front of your crowd.
03:06:43.000 I go, when was the last time you did stand-up?
03:06:44.000 He's like, it's been over a year.
03:06:45.000 I'm like, shut the fuck up.
03:06:47.000 There's 2,700 people out there.
03:06:49.000 There's not a chance in hell I'm putting you on that stage.
03:06:51.000 No.
03:06:52.000 Like, there's already a full show as it is, and you're gonna go up there and flounder around for five minutes?
03:06:56.000 Yeah.
03:06:57.000 Like, there's no way you're gonna kill.
03:06:58.000 No.
03:06:59.000 It's not gonna go well.
03:06:59.000 It's like, you gotta be dedicated to this thing.
03:07:02.000 But so many people that get into stand-up, they're depressed, and they just, like, there's moments in their life where they just lay around doing nothing.
03:07:09.000 Yeah.
03:07:10.000 You know, and then they'll, like, sort of figure out a way to, like, break free and get to a comedy club, and they want it all to happen for them.
03:07:16.000 Like, hey, man, this is like a marathon.
03:07:19.000 Yeah, we do get a lot of mental illness.
03:07:20.000 Oh, yeah.
03:07:22.000 Yeah, a lot.
03:07:23.000 A lot of people that they're self-medicating and they think that somehow or another that stand-up is the answer.
03:07:31.000 But it's also like so many people have been mentally ill that have been great stand-ups.
03:07:35.000 That's true.
03:07:37.000 We were just talking about Richard Jenney.
03:07:40.000 Yeah, I was just thinking about him too.
03:07:42.000 Yeah.
03:07:43.000 How funny he was, too.
03:07:44.000 Oh, my God.
03:07:45.000 He was so good.
03:07:47.000 He was so good.
03:07:48.000 And he's also so good in context.
03:07:53.000 Like, you would listen to his recordings today in 2022 and you'd say he's really good.
03:07:57.000 But if you saw him in 1989 when he was a motherfucker, he was, like, one of the best comics alive.
03:08:05.000 Yeah.
03:08:05.000 But he wanted to be Jim Carrey.
03:08:07.000 He wanted to be that movie star.
03:08:09.000 He wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld.
03:08:10.000 Yeah.
03:08:11.000 He had a TV show on one of those bullshit networks.
03:08:14.000 I think it was like the CW or something like that.
03:08:17.000 It was called the Platypus Man.
03:08:18.000 Platypus Man, yeah.
03:08:19.000 That was his whole thing, yeah.
03:08:20.000 Yeah, he had a special called Platypus Man.
03:08:24.000 That's right.
03:08:25.000 And then he was in The Mask with Jim Carrey.
03:08:28.000 He was in a few things.
03:08:29.000 Yeah.
03:08:29.000 But it never happened.
03:08:31.000 No.
03:08:31.000 And he was fucking horribly depressed.
03:08:34.000 Meanwhile, everybody was envious of him.
03:08:36.000 Yeah, everyone thought he was so...
03:08:37.000 I mean, he was.
03:08:38.000 He was the fucking man.
03:08:39.000 But when I would go on the road, I would always ask, because they always have a local guy who had to take you around and bring you to the radio.
03:08:47.000 It was either the club manager that would bring you to the radio in the morning.
03:08:50.000 I'd go, hey, who's the most miserable person you had to bring around?
03:08:54.000 It was always Richard Jennings.
03:08:56.000 Really?
03:08:56.000 Always.
03:08:57.000 They would all say, oh my God, Richard Jennings.
03:08:59.000 He hated being there, didn't want to do it.
03:09:01.000 He hated the fact that he had to be on the road.
03:09:04.000 He didn't want to be on the road.
03:09:05.000 He wanted to be a movie star.
03:09:07.000 Sure.
03:09:07.000 But meanwhile, he was the best comic alive.
03:09:09.000 Hilarious.
03:09:10.000 Crazy.
03:09:11.000 I mean, I can't say the other name, but I'll tell you later.
03:09:13.000 But I've asked about another comedian before, and I asked people who worked, and they go, I go, he's just great.
03:09:19.000 And they go, I've never been around a more miserable person.
03:09:22.000 I'm like, what?
03:09:23.000 What?
03:09:23.000 And they're like, yeah, I hope you do well in this business, but you don't end up miserable like him.
03:09:29.000 I was like, god damn.
03:09:30.000 Okay.
03:09:31.000 Well, you're not miserable.
03:09:32.000 No.
03:09:33.000 You're killing it out there.
03:09:34.000 Are you enjoying this?
03:09:35.000 Yeah.
03:09:36.000 You got your moment in the sun right now, pal.
03:09:38.000 It's been really fun.
03:09:39.000 You're murdering.
03:09:40.000 Yeah.
03:09:42.000 I feel super fortunate to be doing it, and I'm having a great time.
03:09:47.000 I signed up for a little too hectic of a tour.
03:09:51.000 But I actually am really having fun.
03:09:54.000 I have like the best fucking crew, which makes everything, it makes the biggest difference.
03:09:58.000 Oh, yeah.
03:09:58.000 You know, because I travel with a tour crew, like the bus, tour manager, driver, tour director, security guy, like it's a crew that we go with.
03:10:08.000 It's a good move to do when you're doing a schedule that's as hard as yours.
03:10:10.000 Yeah.
03:10:11.000 And they're great, and it makes everything work.
03:10:14.000 They become your second family.
03:10:16.000 We have as many shows as we do.
03:10:18.000 We're out there, man.
03:10:19.000 Beautiful.
03:10:20.000 I'm super lucky.
03:10:21.000 I'm very blessed.
03:10:22.000 I'm proud of you, man.
03:10:23.000 Thank you.
03:10:23.000 Thank you very much.
03:10:24.000 I really am.
03:10:25.000 It's very, very inspiring.
03:10:26.000 Your hustle, your work ethic, and just your success.
03:10:30.000 Just how fucking funny you are and all the shit you're doing and the fact you have time to write a book and all this too.
03:10:35.000 So it's out right now.
03:10:36.000 It's called I Like to Play Alone, Please.
03:10:40.000 I'd Like to Play Alone, Please and the tour.
03:10:43.000 Is it TomSeguroga.com?
03:10:45.000 Yep, thompsongirl.com, yep, slash tour.
03:10:48.000 He's out there, bitches.
03:10:49.000 I have fucking so many dates.
03:10:50.000 Yeah, and in Austin this weekend, so find the scalpers, you fucks.
03:10:56.000 Thanks, Joe.
03:10:57.000 My pleasure, brother.
03:10:58.000 All right, bye, everybody.