The Joe Rogan Experience - September 07, 2022


Joe Rogan Experience #1868 - Sam Morrill


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 11 minutes

Words per Minute

210.4814

Word Count

40,223

Sentence Count

4,457

Misogynist Sentences

45

Hate Speech Sentences

43


Summary

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, I sit down with comedian and friend of mine, Shane Gillis. We talk about how he got his start in comedy, what it's like to be a stand-up comic, and how he thinks about women in comedy. We also talk about why he thinks women should be able to have babies, and why he doesn't care if they don't have kids. We also discuss why it's a good idea to have a baby at the end of a comedy set. And we talk about what it means to be married to a woman who doesn't want to have kids because she's not a good enough mother. We're in no way affiliated with the Podcast, but we're in it together and we're here to talk about it. Thank you so much to Shane for coming on the pod and for being a part of this amazing community of people who are trying to do the best they can to help us all out there. You're awesome, brotha! Joe Rogans Podcast Check it out! -Joe Rogan Podcast by day, by night, all day. All day, all the time. -J.R. Podcast by night. Thanks for tuning in! xoxo -Jon & Matt -Jon and Matt -The J. Rogans Experience by Day, by Night, All Day, By Night, By Day, All The Way, All-Day Podcast by Night - by Night - by Day and Night, by Day & All Day by Night and All Day by Night by Night & Day by Day - By Night - By Day & By Day and All-Night, All By Night by Day by Morning, By Morning, All by Day By Day - All Day -By Night, Day & Night, Bye Bye Bye -By Day, Bye, Bye - Bye Bye, bye, Bye bye, bye Bye, Goodbye, Bye Love, Bye-bye, bye Love, Love, Blessings, Love & Blessings -Bye, bye! Love, bye -Goodbye, Bye - Jon & Matt & Good Night, - Love, Cheers - -Alyssa & Mikey - Cheers, Love & Love, Cheers! - Mikey & Rory - Ollie xOXO - MRS. xO ~


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:12.000 What's happening, brother?
00:00:13.000 We're up and rolling.
00:00:14.000 Thanks for having me.
00:00:15.000 Pleasure to meet you, finally.
00:00:16.000 I know.
00:00:17.000 I'm excited to be here.
00:00:19.000 You're one of my favorite guys.
00:00:20.000 Really?
00:00:21.000 Thank you.
00:00:22.000 Yeah, there's this group of guys that are coming up that are so good right now.
00:00:27.000 I feel like this is a great time for, like, fresh, up-and-coming comedy talent.
00:00:32.000 It's like there's so many guys who've been doing comedy in, like, 15-plus years who are just fucking starting to crack.
00:00:38.000 Yeah, our group is like really, you know, my closest friends, they work their ass off, so that makes me work my ass off.
00:00:45.000 I love it.
00:00:46.000 I love it too.
00:00:47.000 That's so important.
00:00:49.000 We were talking about Shane Gillis.
00:00:50.000 Shane Gillis has this fucking bit last night about George Washington that's so good.
00:00:56.000 It's so good.
00:00:58.000 Like, I was watching and I was going, God damn, this is great.
00:01:01.000 Because it's like a perfect bit that combines his love of history with just like Shane, you know, because the way he acts things out.
00:01:09.000 I don't want to give up any of it up.
00:01:11.000 It's so fucking funny.
00:01:13.000 There's nothing worse than trying to paraphrase another comics bit that they're working on, and then they're like, why did you do that?
00:01:18.000 You made my bit unfunny?
00:01:19.000 I would ruin it, and I'd give it away, and on top of that, it's very physical.
00:01:23.000 You have to see it.
00:01:25.000 He's a rare combination of a great joke writer, but also a great performer.
00:01:30.000 Yeah.
00:01:30.000 I mean, when he did Trump speed dating in that sketch, that was like...
00:01:34.000 I was like, I don't like Trump impressions.
00:01:36.000 I think they're kind of an easy impression.
00:01:39.000 And I was like, that's a great Trump impression.
00:01:41.000 It's amazing, but with great lines.
00:01:43.000 That's what I mean.
00:01:43.000 Impressions, I don't like when people write off impressions, because impressions crack me up.
00:01:48.000 If they have good writing.
00:01:49.000 Right, right.
00:01:50.000 That's the thing.
00:01:51.000 It's like crowd work.
00:01:52.000 You get an extra bump off the fact that it's all happening live.
00:01:56.000 Of course, yeah.
00:01:56.000 Like, whoa, this is crazy.
00:01:57.000 But if someone's good with it, and they've got good lines, it's fun to watch.
00:02:01.000 Yeah, nothing is...
00:02:03.000 That's a mistake a lot of comics make, which are like, this is hack.
00:02:06.000 It's like, nothing is inherently hack.
00:02:08.000 Right.
00:02:08.000 Things can be...
00:02:09.000 I love Kyle Dunnigan's impressions.
00:02:12.000 I love his Bill Maher impression.
00:02:13.000 I love like...
00:02:14.000 I think if you nail it in a unique way that hasn't been nailed, that's what Shane did with Trump.
00:02:21.000 To have Trump win in the sketch is funny.
00:02:26.000 Because if you just had women being like, you suck, that's not funny.
00:02:30.000 But the fact that Trump in the sketch is just calling them, the way he turns on them, it's perfect.
00:02:36.000 As soon as they don't like him anymore.
00:02:38.000 But because it's Trump.
00:02:39.000 You nailed Trump.
00:02:40.000 That's what he does.
00:02:41.000 Yeah, that's what he does.
00:02:42.000 And also, Shane actually likes Trump.
00:02:44.000 Like, he gets a kick out of Trump, so it's like it makes it fun.
00:02:47.000 Well, it's hard to impersonate people that you don't like, right?
00:02:50.000 It's kind of like roasting someone you don't like.
00:02:51.000 It's just weird.
00:02:52.000 Right, right, right.
00:02:54.000 Yeah, the roasting thing is weird.
00:02:56.000 I mean, when I first went back to the Comedy Store in 2014, that was the first time I ever saw Roast Battle, and I was like, yikes!
00:03:04.000 Like, yikes!
00:03:05.000 These fucking people go hard in the paint at each other.
00:03:07.000 It used to be like, you look weird.
00:03:10.000 Now it's like, this guy got raped in seventh grade.
00:03:12.000 Right.
00:03:12.000 And you're like, that's the joke?
00:03:13.000 Your wife and kids left you.
00:03:15.000 You're like, whoa, hey.
00:03:17.000 I saw one where the guy's like, his wife had a miscarriage.
00:03:19.000 And I'm like, she's here.
00:03:21.000 Jesus.
00:03:22.000 Jesus Christ.
00:03:23.000 Can you imagine being that wife?
00:03:24.000 She's like, I didn't sign up for this shit.
00:03:26.000 Exactly.
00:03:27.000 I had to tell this to a comic the other day.
00:03:28.000 He brought this girl as a date, and he was talking about all the stuff they did.
00:03:32.000 I go, doo-doo [...]-doo.
00:03:33.000 You just started dating her.
00:03:36.000 And you're talking about her blowing you on stage and then she has to see all these people.
00:03:41.000 Yeah.
00:03:42.000 I'm like, don't do that.
00:03:44.000 Not the best intro.
00:03:45.000 It's not.
00:03:46.000 He just started dating her.
00:03:48.000 Yeah.
00:03:48.000 Like, this is terrible advice.
00:03:50.000 There's some people that, like, want to be a part of your act and there's other people that are like, can you not?
00:03:54.000 Yeah.
00:03:54.000 Can you give it a few months?
00:03:56.000 Yeah, most people don't want to be a part of your act.
00:03:58.000 There was a roast joke.
00:03:59.000 Dina Hashem, who's a really funny comic, great writer, and she opens for me a lot on the road, and she did a roast against this guy Dave Kinney, who's really funny, and they were roasting each other, and she had the most savage line I've ever heard in a roast.
00:04:12.000 His mom died in a car crash, in a motorcycle crash, and she goes, Dave lives the way his mom died, an unrecognizable road feature.
00:04:24.000 You can't knock the structure, though.
00:04:25.000 It's a great joke.
00:04:26.000 It's a great joke, but I'm like...
00:04:28.000 But that's fucking harsh.
00:04:31.000 That's harsh.
00:04:31.000 That's what I mean.
00:04:32.000 Like, did you say...
00:04:33.000 I thought, like, I'm expecting people to tell me I have one eyebrow.
00:04:36.000 Not like, you know...
00:04:37.000 Well, it's like everything else, right?
00:04:38.000 Things just ramp up.
00:04:39.000 Yeah.
00:04:40.000 Like, you know, they escalate.
00:04:42.000 You know, it's like everything else in the world.
00:04:44.000 It just keeps getting more complex and harder and more biting and cars get faster, phones work quicker, like everything.
00:04:54.000 What you jerked off to as a kid is different than what I jerked off to and then versus someone 10 years younger than me, what they jerked off to.
00:05:00.000 Everything ramps up to a point where you're like, is this good?
00:05:03.000 Probably not.
00:05:04.000 Well, porn for kids is a real problem because they get access to it almost immediately.
00:05:10.000 Ten-year-olds get phones.
00:05:12.000 Yeah.
00:05:12.000 So they're immediately watching people fuck.
00:05:15.000 I know.
00:05:16.000 Yeah.
00:05:16.000 It's pretty intense.
00:05:18.000 I don't even go through my kids' phones to look at their history.
00:05:21.000 Why would you want to?
00:05:23.000 It's not going to be good.
00:05:24.000 They ask me questions sometimes, though, and I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.
00:05:27.000 Yeah.
00:05:27.000 What kind of questions?
00:05:29.000 Well, they ask me questions about me, which is a problem, because kids from school talk to them about stuff.
00:05:36.000 So they ask me questions about drugs, which is interesting to talk to a 14-year-old about drugs.
00:05:42.000 But you're like a responsible drug user.
00:05:44.000 Well, I say, first of all, don't do anything that's dangerous and addictive.
00:05:50.000 They're not worth it.
00:05:51.000 There's all these different drugs that can literally ruin the rest of your life.
00:05:55.000 And then there's stuff like pot.
00:05:57.000 You know, it's like, it's not good for you because you have a growing mind.
00:06:01.000 Like, your mind is developing.
00:06:03.000 Like, you shouldn't do anything until you're like 25, really.
00:06:05.000 But that's unrealistic.
00:06:06.000 Isn't that weird that renting a car is 25 and everything, like, drinking alcohol, like, people say lower the drinking age.
00:06:12.000 Like, 21, first off, it's not hard to get drunk in this country if you're 18. You can figure it out.
00:06:17.000 Does anybody ever really get drunk at 21?
00:06:20.000 That's like, does anybody get married and they're virgins?
00:06:25.000 No.
00:06:26.000 Some people.
00:06:27.000 Some people.
00:06:27.000 But it's probably the same amount that get drunk for the first time at 21. Those people are really prioritizing other shit.
00:06:36.000 I mean, to wait to get married, to fuck, is pretty bold.
00:06:40.000 I know a guy who did it.
00:06:41.000 Really?
00:06:42.000 Yeah, he was like 26 or 27, too, and I'm pretty sure he's gay.
00:06:46.000 Damn.
00:06:47.000 That explains it.
00:06:48.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
00:06:49.000 Because you want to take it for a test drive.
00:06:52.000 I just don't get it.
00:06:53.000 He's not a bad-looking guy, either.
00:06:55.000 It's like...
00:06:56.000 I don't know.
00:06:57.000 Maybe he's like fully religious and that's really what it is.
00:07:00.000 I know people like that who are fully religious and the amount of guilt associated with it.
00:07:04.000 I had a friend who had these insane fears where he would say things like, I'm scared I'm going to get me too'd.
00:07:10.000 And I was like, you're a virgin.
00:07:12.000 That's hilarious.
00:07:14.000 You physically can't be metooed.
00:07:16.000 You've done nothing that's metooable.
00:07:18.000 You know what's funny to me is when someone else gets metooed, you see the fear in the tweets of the people that are coming out against that person.
00:07:27.000 Like what?
00:07:28.000 You know there's certain people when they virtue signal, you're like, bro, let me look in your closet.
00:07:37.000 You're going so hard against this person when you don't even know exactly what happened.
00:07:40.000 You'll see your virgin friend in there.
00:07:42.000 Just these skankins.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, no, there's a lot of...
00:07:45.000 It's true.
00:07:46.000 I mean, the people that are loudest...
00:07:48.000 I mean, Cosby, right?
00:07:49.000 Yeah.
00:07:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:51.000 He was the guy yelling at everybody for doing dirty material about filth.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:55.000 Meanwhile, he was raping everybody.
00:07:57.000 Yeah.
00:07:57.000 Yeah.
00:07:58.000 It's like any time a comic's...
00:08:00.000 You judge a comic's character based on the content of their material.
00:08:03.000 It's like you're missing the big picture.
00:08:06.000 Well, it's like the only time when the material is supposed to actually truly represent how that person feels about a subject.
00:08:15.000 Right.
00:08:16.000 Like, you never see a Quentin Tarantino movie and go, oh, he supports murder.
00:08:20.000 But he got shit.
00:08:21.000 I mean, he definitely got shit for stuff.
00:08:23.000 I mean, I don't think deservedly so, but he's definitely...
00:08:26.000 Movies, there's always a slight difference because you're playing a character.
00:08:30.000 Right.
00:08:30.000 I do think it's hilarious that he cast himself to do the dead N-word storage character in the movie.
00:08:34.000 Oh yeah, in Pulp Fiction.
00:08:35.000 That would have been weird as hell if you had people reading for that part.
00:08:39.000 I have one C in a movie, what do you do?
00:08:41.000 I just say the N-word 400 times.
00:08:43.000 It didn't make sense why he was saying it the way he was saying it.
00:08:47.000 And to Samuel L. Jackson, I'm like, I wouldn't have the balls in any scenario.
00:08:51.000 There's no world where I could pull this off.
00:08:54.000 So, you know, but great movie.
00:08:56.000 I mean, Tarantino's body of work is insane.
00:08:59.000 It's as good as anybody ever.
00:09:00.000 Jackie Brown is the most underrated one, I always said.
00:09:02.000 I think it's such a great movie.
00:09:04.000 It's a great movie.
00:09:05.000 It's so...
00:09:05.000 Great soundtrack.
00:09:07.000 He doesn't have a bad one.
00:09:08.000 He doesn't have one movie where I didn't like it.
00:09:10.000 Yeah, he's...
00:09:30.000 I don't remember Manhattan.
00:09:32.000 It's incredible, but it's fucking weird.
00:09:35.000 What year was that?
00:09:36.000 It's in the 70s.
00:09:37.000 It's black and white.
00:09:39.000 My friend Ronan Hirshberg has a great line about that movie where he said it's basically a romantic comedy for pedophiles because the end of the movie is not like I fucked up, I dated a high school girl.
00:09:50.000 It's that he's sad that it didn't work out.
00:09:53.000 Really?
00:09:54.000 Yeah.
00:09:54.000 I might not have ever seen it.
00:09:55.000 Mariel Hemingway.
00:09:57.000 You know what?
00:09:57.000 I definitely didn't see it.
00:09:59.000 So she's in high school?
00:10:02.000 Get this.
00:10:03.000 She's 18 at Dalton, which is where Jeffrey Epstein taught.
00:10:08.000 And this is the 70s.
00:10:09.000 That's when he taught there.
00:10:11.000 Alan and Epstein are...
00:10:12.000 This is my...
00:10:14.000 It's a little weird, right?
00:10:15.000 Yeah.
00:10:16.000 I mean, here's the fucked up part, though.
00:10:18.000 The opening is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in a movie.
00:10:21.000 It's just his, like, love letter to New York.
00:10:23.000 It's gorgeous.
00:10:24.000 And I grew up, like, worshipping Woody Allen.
00:10:27.000 He's done some weird shit.
00:10:29.000 He definitely has.
00:10:31.000 Yeah.
00:10:31.000 I mean, there's no doubt about it.
00:10:32.000 He married his stepdaughter.
00:10:33.000 I mean, that enough.
00:10:35.000 That alone is not good.
00:10:36.000 Yeah.
00:10:37.000 No.
00:10:38.000 I mean, that's crazy.
00:10:38.000 And then there's allegations from the other kids.
00:10:42.000 Yeah.
00:10:42.000 Yeah.
00:10:43.000 Were they coach?
00:10:44.000 Were they not?
00:10:45.000 I don't know.
00:10:46.000 The one kid, right?
00:10:47.000 Yeah.
00:10:48.000 I don't know.
00:10:48.000 But it's enough to go...
00:10:50.000 It's enough to be bummed.
00:10:52.000 Yeah.
00:10:52.000 It really bummed.
00:10:53.000 Yeah.
00:10:54.000 Yeah.
00:10:54.000 You ever listen to his stand-up, his old stand-up?
00:10:56.000 It's brilliant.
00:10:57.000 It's brilliant.
00:10:57.000 He was a great...
00:10:58.000 That's what's...
00:10:59.000 We were like, oh, you're a great short story writer.
00:11:01.000 You're a great stand-up.
00:11:02.000 You're a great filmmaker.
00:11:03.000 And then you do some weird jazz thing on the side that no one...
00:11:06.000 I have friends who are like, do you want to watch them?
00:11:08.000 I'm like, do I want to watch the thing he's fifth best at?
00:11:10.000 No.
00:11:11.000 Do you want to watch me play checkers?
00:11:12.000 No.
00:11:13.000 Fuck that shit.
00:11:13.000 I don't want to watch Woody Allen at the Carlisle.
00:11:16.000 I could give a fuck.
00:11:17.000 I guess if I was like really a hardcore Woody Allen fan, I'd go watch it.
00:11:22.000 Really?
00:11:22.000 Just to see him do something that he loves, you know?
00:11:25.000 Eh.
00:11:26.000 Maybe.
00:11:26.000 The Carlisle where you pay $26 for a Manhattan?
00:11:29.000 I would go see like Hunter S. Thompson play drums, you know?
00:11:32.000 Even if he sucked.
00:11:34.000 Yeah.
00:11:34.000 Just because I was such a Hunter fan.
00:11:36.000 I loved Woody Allen.
00:11:38.000 He loved New York in a way where we felt cool as New Yorkers to be like, fuck Woody Allen.
00:11:43.000 It's Woody Allen.
00:11:43.000 I used to see him on the street all the time and he was just...
00:11:45.000 Anytime he'd be like, Woody, he'd just run.
00:11:47.000 It was amazing.
00:11:48.000 He'd just run away from you.
00:11:51.000 What year was this?
00:11:53.000 Post all the accusations?
00:11:55.000 I was working at a summer camp in the summer or something and I was like a counselor and I saw him and I was like, Woody, and he just ran.
00:12:00.000 Weird to see him run away from kids.
00:12:02.000 But...
00:12:04.000 You know, Woody Allen, Annie Hall is like the, I mean, as comics, that's like the prototype right there, where you're like, whoa, you made, it's also the perfect rom-com because they don't end up together.
00:12:17.000 Right.
00:12:18.000 It's such an un-Hollywood, at that time, especially rom-com.
00:12:22.000 Yeah.
00:12:22.000 And Diane Keaton fucking rules.
00:12:24.000 Yeah, Diane Keaton's great.
00:12:26.000 What was the film that he made with, who was the guy with the fucked up nose?
00:12:31.000 Jeez, Owen Wilson.
00:12:32.000 Owen Wilson.
00:12:33.000 Yeah.
00:12:34.000 He's too old.
00:12:34.000 What a sad way that that's how you're identified.
00:12:36.000 He's a handsome guy.
00:12:37.000 He's a handsome guy.
00:12:38.000 But he's got a fucked up nose.
00:12:39.000 It is fucked up.
00:12:39.000 It kind of works with him, because he's so handsome, having that fucked up nose kind of balances it out where you like him more.
00:12:45.000 That's a great movie, Midnight in Paris.
00:12:46.000 It is very good.
00:12:47.000 But it's him.
00:12:48.000 He's playing Woody Allen.
00:12:49.000 Everyone is.
00:12:50.000 John Cusack in Bullets Over Broadway.
00:12:52.000 Another great movie.
00:12:53.000 Another great movie.
00:12:54.000 Woody Allen.
00:12:55.000 Are you playing Woody?
00:12:56.000 They all just feel real bad about working with him now, though.
00:12:58.000 It's so strange.
00:12:59.000 They try to kind of defend him a little bit.
00:13:02.000 The only one who's ever defended him, like...
00:13:04.000 I mean, they all kind of...
00:13:08.000 Avoid it when they can, but it's one of those things.
00:13:11.000 It's like, what do you do?
00:13:14.000 Yeah.
00:13:15.000 I mean, it's tough.
00:13:15.000 He's one of the greatest...
00:13:17.000 I mean, Polanski's another one, right?
00:13:19.000 You think of the greatest...
00:13:21.000 Chinatown's one of the greatest movies ever made.
00:13:23.000 Fantastic movie.
00:13:23.000 It's impossible to watch that and not...
00:13:26.000 See, I'm not enough of a film guy to notice great cinematography.
00:13:30.000 When you watch that movie, you're like, every frame looks beautiful.
00:13:33.000 Yeah.
00:13:34.000 It's insane.
00:13:35.000 Yeah, sometimes creeps are really good at a thing.
00:13:37.000 Isn't that...
00:13:40.000 Creeps are good, too.
00:13:42.000 The problem is throughout history.
00:13:45.000 We were talking about this the other day, that Socrates and Plato, a lot of these guys that we associate with some of the most brilliant things that anybody ever wrote were pedophiles.
00:13:54.000 Yeah.
00:13:55.000 There was a lot of that going on back then.
00:13:58.000 Maybe that's where they got their powers or something.
00:14:01.000 Fucking kids just makes you really good at your art.
00:14:03.000 I don't know.
00:14:04.000 I don't think so.
00:14:04.000 No, no.
00:14:05.000 I don't think so either.
00:14:09.000 But what's his face?
00:14:12.000 Fucking Baldwin.
00:14:13.000 Alec Baldwin.
00:14:14.000 He's the only guy that defends him now.
00:14:17.000 Pretty openly.
00:14:18.000 That guy needs some allies.
00:14:20.000 He needs somebody on his team!
00:14:21.000 Did you see Tim Dillon did Alec Baldwin's podcast?
00:14:24.000 I thought that was, like, the most on-brand perfect thing.
00:14:27.000 I saw that I was like, good.
00:14:28.000 Thank God.
00:14:29.000 Hey, man.
00:14:30.000 It's another...
00:14:31.000 I love Alec Baldwin.
00:14:32.000 Like, I can't act like...
00:14:33.000 Great actor!
00:14:33.000 30 Rock is one of the best comic performances of all time.
00:14:37.000 I mean, it's up there.
00:14:38.000 He's brilliant on that show.
00:14:40.000 Well, Glengarry Glen Ross, the fucking...
00:14:42.000 The Coffee's for Closers.
00:14:44.000 He's a fucking killer.
00:14:45.000 He's a straight up killer.
00:14:46.000 And he's also literally given that monologue to probably all his heroes.
00:14:49.000 It's like Jack Lemmon, Kevin Spacey.
00:14:51.000 It's probably all dudes he looked up to.
00:14:54.000 You know, Alan Arkin.
00:14:57.000 All heavyweight actors that he's just like, you've put that fucking coffee down.
00:15:02.000 How cool is that to do that to you?
00:15:03.000 It's like doing it to you.
00:15:05.000 You'd do that to like George Carlin or something.
00:15:07.000 Right.
00:15:08.000 It's so cool.
00:15:08.000 Yeah.
00:15:09.000 Jack fucking Lemon?
00:15:10.000 Yeah.
00:15:11.000 That guy kicked ass.
00:15:12.000 Yeah.
00:15:13.000 The Apartment?
00:15:13.000 One of the greatest movies of all time.
00:15:15.000 Jack Lemon's awesome.
00:15:16.000 On that point, Billy Wilder, maybe the best American director of all time when you look at like the...
00:15:22.000 The variety of work he did.
00:15:24.000 You do a movie like The Apartment, then he also did Double Indemnity and Sunset Boulevard and Some Like It Hot.
00:15:30.000 Who's making those different types of movies?
00:15:33.000 I don't think I've seen any of those.
00:15:34.000 Oh, dude.
00:15:35.000 Double Indemnity is the best film noir ever, maybe.
00:15:38.000 Oh, it's brilliant.
00:15:38.000 Edward G. Robinson and Fred McMurray.
00:15:41.000 You're a big film buff.
00:15:42.000 I like movies, yeah.
00:15:43.000 I'm on the road a lot.
00:15:46.000 You feel better if you watch something good on the road than if I just watch some Beat Bobby Flay horse shit.
00:15:51.000 Right.
00:15:51.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 A lot of people feel like to be entertained is actually good for the creative process.
00:16:01.000 Yeah, it inspires you.
00:16:02.000 You feel like you want to make...
00:16:04.000 I'm not going to make a movie.
00:16:05.000 That's not my...
00:16:06.000 But I watch it.
00:16:07.000 I want to make something.
00:16:08.000 I want to make stuff.
00:16:10.000 Do you do any movie making stuff?
00:16:13.000 Do you write or anything?
00:16:14.000 No, I write.
00:16:15.000 Yeah, I wrote, you know, I've written a lot of stuff.
00:16:18.000 Screenplays?
00:16:19.000 Like show ideas and stuff.
00:16:20.000 I'll make them when I have time.
00:16:22.000 I'm all in on stand-up now.
00:16:23.000 I kind of give everything to stand-up because I feel like that's what it requires right now.
00:16:27.000 Yeah.
00:16:28.000 I love stand-up so much.
00:16:30.000 Well, it shows.
00:16:31.000 It shows with how much you put out.
00:16:33.000 You put out so much.
00:16:34.000 And you're one of those guys, if someone follows you on Instagram, you're constantly uploading content, which I think is so smart.
00:16:40.000 I just have people film the shows because I figure some cool moment will happen.
00:16:44.000 I don't want to burn material until a special comes out, so I like to just post a topical bit or a crowd work moment because the special, that's the material.
00:16:54.000 That's when I'll give the material.
00:16:55.000 Yeah.
00:16:56.000 The special that you have out now that's coming out?
00:16:58.000 Is it out or is it coming out?
00:17:00.000 It's out September 1st.
00:17:02.000 And what's it on?
00:17:03.000 Netflix.
00:17:03.000 Same time tomorrow.
00:17:04.000 Nice.
00:17:05.000 Nice.
00:17:06.000 On Netflix.
00:17:08.000 Yeah, man.
00:17:09.000 It's tough to even...
00:17:10.000 People are like, this is cool.
00:17:11.000 It's on Netflix.
00:17:11.000 I'm like, I gotta write a new fucking hour, dude.
00:17:14.000 I know.
00:17:14.000 You don't even feel good.
00:17:16.000 I'm so terrified.
00:17:17.000 And then I talk to comics who are like, oh, you can't tour until you have a new act.
00:17:21.000 I'm like, well, that's not what I do.
00:17:22.000 I need a workshop on the road.
00:17:24.000 So I do the road every week to just...
00:17:26.000 I need an hour.
00:17:27.000 I can't write for 15 minutes...
00:17:30.000 At a chunk?
00:17:30.000 No, I can't.
00:17:31.000 Well, Louis was telling me the process that he did for his last special.
00:17:34.000 And he said he had to put together a whole new hour in two months.
00:17:39.000 Jesus Christ.
00:17:39.000 I know.
00:17:40.000 And he goes, I've never done that before.
00:17:41.000 He goes, it was really hard.
00:17:42.000 But what I did is it kind of had 20 minutes.
00:17:45.000 And so I went up with that 20 minutes and I got it to where it works.
00:17:48.000 And then he said, okay, now I can't do that 20 minutes anymore.
00:17:51.000 And then I started with a whole new 20 minutes and I did that till it worked.
00:17:54.000 And then I put that aside.
00:17:56.000 I didn't touch that.
00:17:56.000 And then I had another 20 minutes and I worked on that.
00:17:59.000 So he, in two months, put together a full hour of comedy.
00:18:04.000 He's ruining comedy for us because he did this with the year and a half model.
00:18:09.000 I'm like, oh fuck, Louie's doing an hour and a half.
00:18:11.000 Now we all have to work at that clip.
00:18:13.000 And now Louie's going to do the two-month turnaround for a special.
00:18:17.000 I don't...
00:18:18.000 Not really.
00:18:19.000 For me, I need more time.
00:18:21.000 You know, I was doing the two-year model and I did two years in 2014, 16, and 18. And I was scheduled to do one in 2020, but then the pandemic hit.
00:18:31.000 And so I didn't do stand-up for a bunch of months and then I started doing it again but I was mostly kind of doing my old stuff and then I started doing regular shows around here and writing and putting it together.
00:18:40.000 So when I filmed, I filmed a couple of weeks ago and it was like four years.
00:18:45.000 Damn.
00:18:46.000 So it was like so tight.
00:18:47.000 Everything was so tight.
00:18:49.000 And I was like, man, maybe I'd need a better model.
00:18:51.000 I was listening to Chris Rock talk about this, and he was saying that he thinks a special should be special.
00:18:58.000 And that he doesn't think it should come out every year or every two years.
00:19:02.000 He thinks he should wait more time.
00:19:04.000 Well, he does do that.
00:19:05.000 I mean, that's funny.
00:19:05.000 I remember Rock is so wise that whenever he says something, even if it doesn't make total sense, I'm like, let me listen.
00:19:10.000 You gotta listen a little.
00:19:11.000 Oh, yeah.
00:19:12.000 He's Chris Rock.
00:19:13.000 I remember hearing...
00:19:15.000 He said at the Cellar once, he was like, a new special should have a new feature.
00:19:18.000 It should be like an iPhone.
00:19:19.000 I'm like, hell yeah.
00:19:20.000 And then I thought about it.
00:19:20.000 I'm like, I don't think that you'd need to do that for every special.
00:19:23.000 What kind of feature?
00:19:24.000 I don't know.
00:19:25.000 Maybe you do a new...
00:19:26.000 If you have a new thing, there's this comic Danny Jalas in LA, and he's a really funny guy.
00:19:32.000 And he is doing a special where it's like, choose your own adventure style.
00:19:36.000 So you click a button where he's like, I love this.
00:19:38.000 And then he's like, or do I hate it?
00:19:39.000 You decide, and you click which one you want him.
00:19:41.000 He has a bit for both angles.
00:19:42.000 Oh, nice.
00:19:43.000 So that's a new feature, right?
00:19:44.000 That's great.
00:19:45.000 I did a special during the pandemic in New York.
00:19:47.000 No clubs were open.
00:19:48.000 So I was like, I'll do a special on rooftops, you know?
00:19:50.000 And it was like, in my head, I'm like, well, this is a new feature.
00:19:53.000 But also I'm like, but the fucking bombs on rooftops.
00:19:57.000 You have never felt anything like it.
00:19:59.000 There's something about bombing in open air by the Hudson where you're like, this is...
00:20:04.000 This is like a cry for help.
00:20:05.000 This is mental illness that I'm here.
00:20:07.000 I was like, if you have beer and White Claw and a mic and amp and friends, I will come on your roof.
00:20:12.000 I was doing it like every fucking night for months because I was like, this is the only place to do.
00:20:17.000 And it was an amazing thing I never ever want to do again.
00:20:20.000 But it's a great moment in history.
00:20:23.000 Like when people look back and they see that special, they go, oh, that's a pandemic.
00:20:26.000 It was crazy.
00:20:28.000 It was, uh, my cameraman, the guy who directed that special, Matt Salick, he nearly fell off a roof trying to get a cool shot.
00:20:35.000 And I'm like, if you die while I'm doing a jack-off joke, it's the saddest.
00:20:40.000 What am I going to say at your funeral?
00:20:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:42.000 He died doing what he loved.
00:20:46.000 He was, uh...
00:20:48.000 No, he did such a cool job with that.
00:20:49.000 He literally just showed up on a stranger's rooftop and his friend Dominic Mull shows up with a drone camera.
00:20:55.000 I'm like, are we really doing this?
00:20:57.000 This is insane.
00:21:00.000 Yeah, you have to address it.
00:21:04.000 It was that weird moment five minutes in where I had to be like, yeah, we're doing this, guys.
00:21:08.000 And they were like, all right, you know, it was crazy.
00:21:10.000 Yeah, but historically, it's going to be really cool.
00:21:14.000 It'll be cool in 10 years.
00:21:15.000 When you look at your body of work.
00:21:17.000 I think the pandemic, it was great for comedy.
00:21:20.000 I really do.
00:21:21.000 I think because it made people realize, first of all, how special this thing is that we get to do.
00:21:26.000 And how it can just go away.
00:21:29.000 It was horrible, yeah.
00:21:30.000 I mean, you're right.
00:21:31.000 I remember I put out a special right before it hit, and it was like, you know- There you are.
00:21:36.000 Look at that shot.
00:21:37.000 Up on the roof.
00:21:38.000 I bombed that roof so fucking hard.
00:21:40.000 I remember that one.
00:21:41.000 That one, I mean, that didn't make my- but look at that view.
00:21:43.000 There's not even seats.
00:21:44.000 You had these people sit on towels.
00:21:45.000 Colin Quinn gave me so much shit about the opening of this special.
00:21:48.000 He was just like, all I need is a mic and an amp.
00:21:50.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:21:51.000 He was just annoyed.
00:21:53.000 How many people were up there?
00:21:54.000 I don't know.
00:21:55.000 There'd be like 40 or 50 people a roof usually.
00:21:57.000 40 or 50 people, a roof.
00:21:59.000 What are you climbing with a white claw?
00:22:01.000 That's hilarious.
00:22:03.000 Well, that was the thing.
00:22:03.000 I was like, I'll show up and then we'll get drunk afterwards.
00:22:05.000 We'll make a night out of it.
00:22:06.000 That's Matt holding the camera up.
00:22:08.000 With a mask on outside.
00:22:09.000 That's fucking hilarious.
00:22:10.000 Well, we didn't know.
00:22:11.000 We didn't know anything at the time.
00:22:13.000 What month was this?
00:22:14.000 Jeez, it was the first year.
00:22:16.000 It was 2020. But, yeah, I mean, this was a weird as hell.
00:22:21.000 That was in the East Village.
00:22:23.000 We were all over.
00:22:23.000 Bushwick, Williamsburg, East Village, Lower East Side, West Village, Hell's Kitchen.
00:22:28.000 Like, we went everywhere.
00:22:29.000 I mean, it was great.
00:22:31.000 And there's a few rebels in the audience with no masks.
00:22:35.000 We're going to look back on those people.
00:22:36.000 Well, I'm like, am I going to get shit for that?
00:22:38.000 I didn't know.
00:22:39.000 Mask or no mask.
00:22:40.000 You didn't know, yeah.
00:22:40.000 At the time, outdoor, I didn't know if I was going to get shit for that.
00:22:43.000 So I was like, don't show the crowd too much because I was like, I don't know if people are going to get mad at me for this.
00:22:47.000 You know, it was a different...
00:22:48.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:22:48.000 Shit keeps changing, right?
00:22:50.000 Well, it was so different out here than it was anywhere else.
00:22:55.000 When I first came here, I was like, this is so crazy.
00:22:56.000 New York's the city of hypochondriacs.
00:22:58.000 Yeah.
00:22:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:59.000 We're a nervous city.
00:23:00.000 It's built into the whole idea of a city, like you're on top of each other.
00:23:05.000 Oh, New York, there's no city where you're more on top of each other.
00:23:07.000 I mean, like, you think about that, like, you have to be kind to your neighbor when you're this close at all times.
00:23:14.000 And there's also, like, New York has this kind of, like, complain-y...
00:23:18.000 Nervous energy to it.
00:23:19.000 Just say Jew.
00:23:20.000 I'm not gonna say Jew.
00:23:21.000 I'm not gonna say Jew.
00:23:23.000 But you know what I'm saying?
00:23:24.000 New York people complain.
00:23:25.000 Even if it's non-Jewish people.
00:23:27.000 What the fuck is this fucking place?
00:23:28.000 You're right.
00:23:28.000 It's cultural.
00:23:29.000 It's venting.
00:23:30.000 We don't call it complaining.
00:23:31.000 We call it venting.
00:23:32.000 Yeah.
00:23:33.000 Because there's constant stress and tension.
00:23:35.000 For sure.
00:23:36.000 When you're around that many people.
00:23:38.000 Venting is almost like a communal thing.
00:23:40.000 It's therapeutic.
00:23:41.000 It brings people together.
00:23:41.000 It's 20 minutes of like, can you believe this shit?
00:23:44.000 Followed by, but life is good.
00:23:45.000 Yeah.
00:23:46.000 That's how you vent.
00:23:46.000 That's venting.
00:23:47.000 And it feels good.
00:23:49.000 It feels good to get that out.
00:23:50.000 It keeps you sane.
00:23:51.000 It does.
00:23:52.000 I mean, you think of so many nights.
00:23:53.000 I remember so many nights being a young comic.
00:23:57.000 Mark Norman, he'd walk me to the subway.
00:23:59.000 He lived down there.
00:24:00.000 I lived uptown.
00:24:01.000 He'd walk me to the train.
00:24:02.000 And we would just shit talk about the business and everything for like 45 minutes, an hour, sometimes two hours.
00:24:08.000 And then we'd be like, all right, good talk.
00:24:10.000 And And that was like the therapy.
00:24:11.000 You get it out, you go home, and you're like, now I can be a person.
00:24:13.000 Right.
00:24:14.000 New York, you need a...
00:24:15.000 I can't defend the city.
00:24:17.000 I love it.
00:24:17.000 I'll never not live there.
00:24:19.000 But it's indefensible in many ways.
00:24:22.000 Did you grow up there?
00:24:23.000 I grew up in New York City.
00:24:24.000 Were you born there?
00:24:25.000 I was born there.
00:24:26.000 Oh, wow.
00:24:26.000 I can't drive.
00:24:28.000 Really at all?
00:24:29.000 I have a license, but I kind of charmed my way through the process.
00:24:32.000 I failed two, and then the third one, I was like, please don't fail me, and she laughed, and I was like, I'm in, you know?
00:24:36.000 I can't drive.
00:24:38.000 So I remember I did a road gig with Joe List in, like, 2011. We were co-headlining, and it was a terrible gig.
00:24:45.000 It was one of those gigs where...
00:24:48.000 We had to drive from one casino to the next.
00:24:51.000 It was a casino run.
00:24:52.000 And I was like, well, split the driving.
00:24:54.000 You know, I was very confident in the time.
00:24:56.000 And Joe's like, cool, cool.
00:24:57.000 And first off, we flew into the wrong state on the wrong day.
00:25:00.000 It was all my fault.
00:25:01.000 I was a total just mess.
00:25:02.000 I was an idiot.
00:25:03.000 So we fly into, like, Michigan.
00:25:05.000 They were like, no, the first gig's in Wisconsin.
00:25:08.000 And Lyft was like, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
00:25:10.000 We're here a day late.
00:25:11.000 We got docked in pay.
00:25:12.000 We're driving around.
00:25:14.000 And then Joe realizes I can't drive on top of that.
00:25:16.000 Because I started driving.
00:25:17.000 He was like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:25:20.000 And I was like, I'm driving.
00:25:21.000 He's like, this isn't driving.
00:25:22.000 You're gonna get us killed.
00:25:23.000 And then I say, well, I'm just not that good at turns.
00:25:25.000 He was like, you're not good at turning is part of driving, you idiot.
00:25:28.000 So we're complete idiots.
00:25:30.000 We're, you know, we're bombing these fucking horrible gigs.
00:25:34.000 I remember we show up to one casino in Milwaukee and, uh, This is like such a comedy moment where you're like, first off, List had been doing comedy longer than I had, and we were co-headlining.
00:25:45.000 For some reason, my picture was giant, and it was like a little tiny Joe List picture, so he was furious when we got there.
00:25:50.000 We're in this casino.
00:25:52.000 The band Cheap Trick, I guess they're...
00:26:01.000 We're good to go.
00:26:13.000 In a bar, we're like, can you at least put the game off the TV? And they're like, no, it's the playoffs.
00:26:17.000 So we have to do a show while the Cardinals are kicking their fucking ass.
00:26:22.000 And List is on stage bombing, and he's one of the funniest dudes to watch bomb, because he's so self-deprecating already.
00:26:29.000 But he just turns to them, he goes, fuck the Brewers, go Cardinals, and they're booing him.
00:26:33.000 And then he goes, all right, guys, Sam Morrell.
00:26:36.000 I'm like, dude, what the fuck?
00:26:37.000 So I had to go into that.
00:26:39.000 You know, we would swap who would close.
00:26:40.000 And then, you know, we both bombed.
00:26:42.000 Horrible gig.
00:26:42.000 And I remember Joe, the next day, was like, how the fuck did we get home last night?
00:26:47.000 And I was like, you drove us.
00:26:48.000 What do you mean, how did we get home?
00:26:49.000 He's like, dude, I blacked out.
00:26:51.000 And I was like, you seem fine.
00:26:52.000 I didn't know.
00:26:53.000 He was sneaking drinks all night.
00:26:54.000 He was an alcoholic.
00:26:55.000 And then he was like, but in my defense, I'm a better blackout driver than you are a sober driver.
00:26:59.000 And I was like, I can't argue with that.
00:27:00.000 That is true.
00:27:01.000 That was one of those gigs where you're like, wow, that was a painful...
00:27:07.000 Weak, but fuck.
00:27:08.000 I'm in love with The Road for some reason.
00:27:11.000 Something about it, I romanticize The Road.
00:27:14.000 It is romantic.
00:27:15.000 Some of my best moments have been on The Road.
00:27:17.000 There's something about The Road.
00:27:18.000 It's like, you're doing it.
00:27:20.000 The thing that we always wanted to do when we were open micers was be a professional.
00:27:23.000 Be a professional comic on The Road.
00:27:26.000 Here I am, I'm in Tampa.
00:27:27.000 Here I am, I'm in Wichita.
00:27:29.000 Here I am.
00:27:29.000 Tampa's an underrated comedy city.
00:27:31.000 Tampa's a great fucking city to do comedy.
00:27:33.000 Tampa crowds...
00:27:35.000 My friends always say, like, you know, the best crowds are a blue city and a red state, because you get a good mix.
00:27:41.000 And there's something true about that.
00:27:43.000 It's Austin.
00:27:44.000 Austin, that's what it is.
00:27:45.000 Yeah, same thing.
00:27:45.000 Great crowds.
00:27:46.000 Yeah.
00:27:46.000 But, you know, Tampa, man, I used to play a club there, Sidesplitters, you ever play there?
00:27:52.000 I don't think I did.
00:27:53.000 It's a great club.
00:27:53.000 It's still a great club.
00:27:55.000 But it's now owned by a different guy.
00:27:57.000 When I started working there, it was run by this guy, Bobby Jewell, who was like a real character.
00:28:01.000 I don't know if you've ever heard of him.
00:28:03.000 Toupee, pinky ring, dresses like Charlie Sheen.
00:28:05.000 Bobby Jewell.
00:28:06.000 Yeah, it's perfect.
00:28:07.000 Dresses like Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.
00:28:08.000 You know those kind of polo shirts with the buttons?
00:28:11.000 Yeah.
00:28:12.000 Piss drunk.
00:28:13.000 He'd pick you up shit-faced in his convertible singing jersey, boys, wasted, shit-talking you the whole time you're there.
00:28:20.000 You fucking pussy.
00:28:21.000 You used to drink with me.
00:28:23.000 I was 23. I was 23, I would feature there, and we would just pound shots all night.
00:28:28.000 And then I'd come back a couple years later, headlining, and he'd be like, you fucking pussy.
00:28:33.000 He would be mad you wouldn't get blackout drunk with him.
00:28:35.000 He would insult his own personality.
00:28:38.000 Patrons, they'd be in there laughing at how drunk he was, and he'd be like, why don't you shut the fuck up?
00:28:43.000 And we'd be like, these are your customers.
00:28:48.000 Remember my friend Dina Hashem and I were doing a gig there.
00:28:52.000 She's featuring for me there, and he goes, why don't I cook you guys dinner at my place?
00:28:56.000 And we're like, oh, that's very nice of you.
00:28:57.000 So we show up, and he's cooking us steak, he's pouring us wine, he makes us a lovely dinner.
00:29:03.000 Couldn't be nicer.
00:29:04.000 Then he shows up at the club at like 11 p.m., just slurring his words, shit-faced.
00:29:09.000 Gets in my face, and he goes, I fucking cooked for you, you piece of shit.
00:29:13.000 And I was like, you offered it.
00:29:14.000 I don't know.
00:29:15.000 You invited me over.
00:29:16.000 He was like mad that I accepted.
00:29:18.000 I had a guy once there.
00:29:20.000 I played that club so many times.
00:29:22.000 It's one of my favorite clubs.
00:29:23.000 And I had this guy, Raul Sanchez, opening, and he's like a hilarious comic, served in Iraq, you know, like had a crazy life story, came from Mexico, saw action, like serious shit, and he had great bits about it,
00:29:38.000 which you're like, how often do you hear someone do great bits about something this heavy?
00:29:42.000 And Bobby's just in his face, like, just pounding, apparently cost the club like 40 grand a year in whiskey sales and stuff, so they had to switch him on to like a lower label.
00:29:52.000 And he's just talking shit to Raul, and he's like, you fucking, you fucking, what tribe are you in, Raul?
00:29:57.000 And I'm like, dude, he's fucking Mexican.
00:30:00.000 You're not even being the right type of racist, you idiot.
00:30:03.000 And then, and Raul has the greatest comeback.
00:30:06.000 He goes, airborne infantry, what tribe are you in?
00:30:08.000 And Bobby just goes, well played.
00:30:12.000 He took his L's, which I appreciated.
00:30:14.000 But the club was great.
00:30:15.000 I mean, it's still great.
00:30:16.000 It's a classic, old-school club.
00:30:19.000 I heard when Larry Miller walked in there, he just walked in and was like...
00:30:23.000 Do you smell it?
00:30:24.000 Like, it was like one of those, this is a classic club.
00:30:27.000 Right, like when Paul Newman in The Color of Money walks into a pool hall.
00:30:30.000 I smell action.
00:30:32.000 Hell yeah.
00:30:33.000 Oh, dude, Paul Newman fucking rules.
00:30:34.000 Oh my god, he's one of the greats.
00:30:37.000 Fucking, that guy.
00:30:38.000 I think I Cool Hand Luke, like, for some reason, like, once a week, it's just like the coolest movie.
00:30:42.000 Oh, he's been in so many cool movies, man.
00:30:44.000 Yeah, those old school club owners.
00:30:47.000 Did you ever do Kansas City?
00:30:49.000 I've done the newer room there.
00:30:50.000 I never did Sanford and Sons.
00:30:52.000 I heard that's like...
00:30:52.000 Craig used to run...
00:30:54.000 I don't know if he's still alive anymore.
00:30:55.000 But Craig also, like, promoted boxing or something like that.
00:30:59.000 He was involved in boxing DVDs.
00:31:02.000 A side hustle.
00:31:03.000 He was always, like, giving me DVDs of these boxing matches that he was a part of.
00:31:07.000 But he had, like, the worst toupee.
00:31:09.000 And he sounded like Beetlejuice.
00:31:10.000 So, everybody take it, Beetlejuice.
00:31:12.000 Here we go.
00:31:13.000 We're gonna go to this place.
00:31:15.000 And, you know, he was always trying to bang his waitresses and shit.
00:31:18.000 He was hilarious.
00:31:19.000 Like, come here, sit on my lap.
00:31:20.000 He's like, what are those guys?
00:31:21.000 But it's like those old school guys that, like, completely inappropriate.
00:31:25.000 But they're doing, they're running a club the way you thought clubs were run if you saw them in a movie.
00:31:32.000 Oh, yeah.
00:31:33.000 When you were a kid...
00:31:34.000 It's exciting.
00:31:35.000 You feel like you're in a movie.
00:31:36.000 You're really there.
00:31:37.000 I love...
00:31:38.000 Yeah.
00:31:38.000 I mean, that's why I told Dina, I was like, just appreciate this because this is like the last one of these dudes left.
00:31:43.000 And she was like, I love it.
00:31:44.000 She was into it.
00:31:45.000 She thought it was hilarious.
00:31:46.000 I mean, he really was funny as hell.
00:31:49.000 I remember he was like smoking a cigarette once.
00:31:51.000 He would just talk shit all day.
00:31:53.000 He'd be like, you know, you know what I want, Sam?
00:31:55.000 I want you, Joe List, and Nick DiPaolo in a room...
00:32:00.000 Tearing each other to shreds.
00:32:02.000 And I was like, why?
00:32:03.000 And he goes, just cause.
00:32:05.000 That was his energy.
00:32:06.000 He just wanted blood.
00:32:08.000 Well, he probably loved comedy.
00:32:10.000 He did love comedy.
00:32:11.000 I gotta be honest, I enjoyed the hell out of him.
00:32:14.000 Yeah.
00:32:14.000 It was fun as hell.
00:32:15.000 Those guys, they're classics.
00:32:17.000 There's not that many of them, and it's hard to make a guy like that.
00:32:20.000 Those gigs starting out are like the best.
00:32:23.000 It's funny, you don't realize you're having the best time of your life.
00:32:25.000 Yeah.
00:32:26.000 Because it's so hard to write an hour when those rooms are papered.
00:32:31.000 And those people, when it's like, those are free tickets, the whole crowd is like, what do you got?
00:32:36.000 They're expecting you to suck, so you're like, well, how do I slip new shit in if I gotta bring the heat the whole time?
00:32:41.000 I look back, I don't know how we did it, all of us, but...
00:32:44.000 Pressure.
00:32:45.000 Pressure.
00:32:46.000 You gotta rise.
00:32:47.000 I remember doing a club...
00:32:48.000 Fucking awful club in, yeah, Virginia Beach.
00:32:54.000 Awful room, and I'm bombing my dick off.
00:32:58.000 Like, one of those, like, where you're sweating.
00:32:59.000 I remember I showed up at the club, and the one behind the bar was, like...
00:33:05.000 Someone's gotta replace the urinal cakes in the bathroom.
00:33:07.000 She said it to me, and I was like, oh, okay.
00:33:09.000 I didn't realize she was asking me to do that.
00:33:11.000 And I was like, oh, yeah, someone should do that.
00:33:13.000 And she's like, well, you?
00:33:14.000 And I was like, I'm headlining the weekend.
00:33:16.000 And she was like, so no?
00:33:18.000 And I was like, no, I don't want to do that.
00:33:20.000 And she goes, well, I'm a woman.
00:33:21.000 Replace means you have to take them out and put the new ones in.
00:33:23.000 Put the new ones in.
00:33:24.000 I was like, that's a bad look for your club, by the way.
00:33:27.000 If I'm lurking behind the fucking customers holding urinal cakes.
00:33:31.000 You don't look good.
00:33:33.000 What is a urinal cake purpose?
00:33:35.000 What's the purpose?
00:33:35.000 To soak urine up?
00:33:37.000 I don't know.
00:33:37.000 Does it help the smell?
00:33:39.000 Probably.
00:33:39.000 Because they have a smell to them, right?
00:33:40.000 Probably.
00:33:41.000 So do they run bad?
00:33:42.000 Why were you replacing them?
00:33:44.000 Do they run bad?
00:33:45.000 That's a great one-liner.
00:33:46.000 Are they going to go bad?
00:33:47.000 Yeah.
00:33:47.000 I don't know.
00:33:48.000 I mean...
00:33:49.000 It was crazy.
00:33:50.000 I remember bombing so fucking hard, and they had a giant poster.
00:33:55.000 You know the sweats?
00:33:56.000 You get those sweats where you're like, I'm in the movies sweating, bombing, and they're drinking Long Island iced teas.
00:34:03.000 I can't connect to Long Island iced tea drinkers, because you're not drinking for the pleasure of it.
00:34:07.000 You're drinking to escape life.
00:34:09.000 That's a bad drunk.
00:34:10.000 That's like five different lickers in one, you know?
00:34:13.000 So I'm bombing my dick off.
00:34:14.000 I get off stage, I see a giant poster of this magician.
00:34:18.000 It's like the classic magician headshot where he's like holding two doves.
00:34:22.000 And I was like, alright, this is crazy.
00:34:24.000 And then I look to my right, he's at the bar.
00:34:25.000 He was at the show.
00:34:26.000 So it felt like magic.
00:34:28.000 I was like, alright, let me talk to this guy.
00:34:30.000 And he's like, man, you fucking sucked.
00:34:31.000 Like, that was terrible.
00:34:32.000 That was so bad.
00:34:34.000 He's like, I mean, you're funny, but that was not a good show.
00:34:37.000 And I was like, oh, yeah.
00:34:38.000 And he's like, I saw you on Conan once.
00:34:40.000 We should go out.
00:34:40.000 I'll show you the real Virginia Beach.
00:34:43.000 And I was like, what?
00:34:46.000 The real Virginia Beach?
00:34:48.000 All right.
00:34:48.000 He's like, I'm going to show you the Virginia Beach no one talks about.
00:34:50.000 So then he just takes me to a bar next door.
00:34:53.000 And I was like, all right.
00:34:55.000 We're in a bar.
00:34:56.000 By the way, I could have found this fucking bar.
00:34:59.000 This is not entertaining to me.
00:35:01.000 Long line.
00:35:02.000 I was like, I don't wait on line.
00:35:03.000 He's like, we're not waiting on line.
00:35:04.000 So we just start cutting the line.
00:35:07.000 He's giving everyone the finger.
00:35:08.000 And I was like, who the fuck is this guy?
00:35:10.000 You know?
00:35:11.000 And we end up in, the bouncer is like, he just says to the guy, the guy's name is Stu.
00:35:15.000 And he goes, not tonight, Stu.
00:35:17.000 First thing the bouncer says to him, so I'm like, this guy's a problem.
00:35:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:35:21.000 Right.
00:35:21.000 And then he goes, you better let us in or else.
00:35:23.000 And the guy just let us in.
00:35:24.000 We get fucking...
00:35:26.000 He's one of those drunks who's just buying...
00:35:28.000 You ever just out with someone where they're just buying every stranger a drink?
00:35:31.000 Yeah.
00:35:32.000 My favorite type of drunk.
00:35:33.000 Yeah.
00:35:33.000 He's just buying...
00:35:34.000 He's doing shots...
00:35:34.000 He starts doing magic at the bar.
00:35:37.000 And he's good, so people are applauding after every...
00:35:39.000 I'm like, this guy's fucking incredible.
00:35:41.000 It was like a fucking...
00:35:42.000 I mean, it was one of those nights where you're like, this dude...
00:35:46.000 So it's like a show.
00:35:47.000 It was a show.
00:35:47.000 He grabbed one of the women and starts making out with her out of nowhere.
00:35:51.000 And then he just let her go and he's like, we're going to a strip club.
00:35:53.000 I went to a fucking strip club with this guy.
00:35:56.000 That's not my scene, but I was like, fuck it, I'll go up.
00:35:59.000 We did it up.
00:36:00.000 I used to work at this club when I was coming up called Joker's Wild in New Haven, Connecticut.
00:36:05.000 Yeah, I think that was a front.
00:36:06.000 It was run by the mob.
00:36:07.000 Yeah.
00:36:08.000 Yeah.
00:36:08.000 Do you know about it?
00:36:09.000 I've been.
00:36:09.000 I played there.
00:36:10.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:10.000 Best pizza in the country.
00:36:11.000 The guy who was running it was a straight-up gangster.
00:36:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:15.000 And one time, I don't remember what happened.
00:36:18.000 I think it was an audience member mouthed off to him or something.
00:36:21.000 He took off his shoe and beat the guy's face in with his shoe.
00:36:26.000 So splattering blood all over the place.
00:36:29.000 So he's got the heel of his shoe, and he's smacking this guy in the face, and there's fucking blood all over his collar and everything.
00:36:36.000 Damn.
00:36:36.000 And the show went on.
00:36:38.000 The show kept going.
00:36:39.000 He had to take off.
00:36:40.000 The cops came.
00:36:41.000 He fucking jetted out of there.
00:36:42.000 I never got paid.
00:36:43.000 And then I tried to come back.
00:36:45.000 I came back.
00:36:46.000 I was back there again in a few weeks.
00:36:49.000 And I was like, hey man, you still owe me money.
00:36:51.000 And he gave me a small percentage of the money.
00:36:53.000 Like 40-50% of the money.
00:36:55.000 And I go, where's the rest of it?
00:36:56.000 He goes, you should be happy you got that.
00:36:59.000 Isn't it funny that this is the only career where that happens?
00:37:02.000 I remember I did that gig once, and my brother was doing a clerkship in New Haven.
00:37:05.000 He's a lawyer, and he brought the judge with him.
00:37:08.000 And I was like, don't bring this classy woman to see me at Joker's Wild.
00:37:12.000 Please.
00:37:13.000 Please don't bring her.
00:37:14.000 And it was, of course, it was just me dealing with hecklers the whole fucking show.
00:37:18.000 Animals in that place.
00:37:18.000 Animals.
00:37:19.000 But I mean, that pizza in New Haven, I think, is the best pizza in the country.
00:37:22.000 Like Pepe's and all those spots.
00:37:24.000 Oh, they got great pizza.
00:37:25.000 It's next-level pizza.
00:37:26.000 Yeah.
00:37:26.000 New Haven's a weird spot, too, because Yale's there.
00:37:29.000 I know.
00:37:31.000 Well, that's Connecticut, though.
00:37:32.000 That's all Connecticut.
00:37:33.000 But it doesn't seem to have any impact on the culture.
00:37:35.000 If you're around Harvard Square in Cambridge, it clearly influences...
00:37:40.000 Harvard has influenced the culture.
00:37:41.000 There's a lot of very brilliant people, and there's a lot of bookstores, and people are smarter.
00:37:46.000 Not New Haven.
00:37:47.000 There's something about New Haven itself is like a gritty, fucking down and grimy city when it comes to like stand up and the people that come.
00:37:55.000 Because they come from all the surrounding areas, too.
00:37:58.000 Well, it's Connecticut, right?
00:37:59.000 All of Connecticut is like, I mean, Bridgeport's one of the worst cities in the country.
00:38:02.000 I mean, have you been to Bridgeport, Connecticut?
00:38:03.000 One of my best friends lived there.
00:38:05.000 It's fucking crazy.
00:38:05.000 Forever.
00:38:06.000 He just moved recently.
00:38:07.000 Shout out to Tommy Jr. I did a gig there once, and I got chased off stage.
00:38:11.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:38:12.000 I got chased off.
00:38:13.000 I remember these guys met me in New York, and I was young, so I was like, man, oh my God, the idea to make fucking whatever it was, like a grand on a Wednesday.
00:38:21.000 I was like, oh my God, of course, yeah.
00:38:23.000 So they come to see me.
00:38:24.000 They're like, we want to scout you out first.
00:38:25.000 So they saw me at Eastville Comedy Club on East 4th Street on a Saturday, and I couldn't have had a better set.
00:38:33.000 It was one of those where I'm like, when lightning strikes in that room...
00:38:36.000 And they were like, well, if you did this well here, you'll do even better in Bridgeport.
00:38:40.000 I'm like, that's not how it works, by the way.
00:38:42.000 So I get there, and this one guy, they're like, well, this guy's the muscle.
00:38:45.000 And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck that means.
00:38:46.000 The muscle?
00:38:47.000 I was like, all right, hey, muscle, whatever.
00:38:49.000 And we're getting drunk, and they're like, we can't wait to have you there.
00:38:52.000 And they kept calling this guy the muscle.
00:38:53.000 And I'm like, I don't know why he's called the muscle.
00:38:55.000 And then I do the gig in Bridgeport.
00:38:57.000 And we're having pizza before, and there's a basketball game, and we're watching basketball in the pizza shop, and he's like, I was telling some story, and he goes, yeah, it's just like when I did two and a half years in the clink for selling coke.
00:39:09.000 And I was like, what does that have to do with what I was talking about?
00:39:11.000 He's like, I don't know.
00:39:12.000 And I was like, is he fucking with me?
00:39:13.000 I can't tell if he's fucking with me.
00:39:15.000 So I remember doing the gig, And I'm kind of just doing okay.
00:39:20.000 There's like a guy in the front row.
00:39:21.000 He won't shut the fuck up.
00:39:23.000 It's one of those where I'm like, I've put him down every clever way possible.
00:39:26.000 It was a beautiful venue too.
00:39:27.000 It's called the Bijou Theater, which is like, they play like Casablanca in that place.
00:39:31.000 This is where I'm doing comedy, you know?
00:39:32.000 They put like old school movies in there.
00:39:34.000 And I'm just trying to survive.
00:39:36.000 I'm like 25 minutes in, like putting this guy down.
00:39:39.000 He keeps coming.
00:39:40.000 I'm just like...
00:39:40.000 I'm out of clever shit to say.
00:39:43.000 You're ruining the show.
00:39:44.000 And finally I'm like, you fucking Neanderthal dumb fuck.
00:39:47.000 Shut the fuck up.
00:39:48.000 And then he stood up and I was like, that's the biggest man I've ever seen.
00:39:51.000 He's like 6'6 and built like a linebacker.
00:39:54.000 And I'm like, I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me.
00:39:56.000 God damn it.
00:39:57.000 So he starts rushing the stage and I'm like, well, someone's going to stop him.
00:40:00.000 No one stops him.
00:40:01.000 He gets on stage.
00:40:02.000 I was like, fuck this shit.
00:40:03.000 I run off stage.
00:40:05.000 And I'm in the back of the room, and people are booing.
00:40:09.000 I just hear booing.
00:40:10.000 I'm like, why are they fucking booing me?
00:40:11.000 And then I lock the door to the green room.
00:40:14.000 This woman runs in with me before I lock it, and she's like, what are you doing?
00:40:19.000 Like, you can't do that.
00:40:20.000 I'm like, what?
00:40:20.000 You want me to just get the shit kicked out of me?
00:40:22.000 And she's like, you can't.
00:40:23.000 That's very unprofessional.
00:40:25.000 I'm like, I'm professional.
00:40:26.000 There's no security here.
00:40:27.000 I'm actually going to get my ass kicked.
00:40:30.000 And she's like, fuck.
00:40:32.000 No, you got to get back out there.
00:40:33.000 And I was like, fuck you.
00:40:34.000 Fuck this city.
00:40:35.000 And they're booing so loud when I say that.
00:40:38.000 I'm holding a cordless mic.
00:40:39.000 They hear everything I'm saying to her.
00:40:41.000 I sound like the biggest coward.
00:40:43.000 I am hated in Bridgeport right now.
00:40:45.000 They're booing the shit out of me.
00:40:47.000 Eight minutes of the longest eight minutes of my life.
00:40:49.000 He finally leaves.
00:40:50.000 And I went back out and did the last 30 minutes to fucking silence.
00:40:54.000 Oh boy.
00:40:55.000 Yeah.
00:40:57.000 Connecticut is rough, man, because there's no hope in Connecticut.
00:41:02.000 There's a thing, there's like really rich people.
00:41:04.000 That should be their state motto.
00:41:05.000 There is no hope, because it's not a real state.
00:41:07.000 It's a highway between New York and Boston.
00:41:09.000 True.
00:41:10.000 That's what it is.
00:41:10.000 And the cities there, like Hartford, come on.
00:41:13.000 It's barely a city.
00:41:14.000 It's a few insurance buildings, and it's weird.
00:41:17.000 That downtown area ain't pretty.
00:41:18.000 It's rough.
00:41:19.000 Chappelle bomb there.
00:41:20.000 That's how you know that.
00:41:21.000 Well, that was like the infamous.
00:41:22.000 Yeah, the infamous bomb.
00:41:23.000 When I saw that, I go, oh, he's in Connecticut.
00:41:26.000 I tell everybody, it's the worst fucking place.
00:41:28.000 I haven't done stand-up in Connecticut in 15 years.
00:41:31.000 Really?
00:41:32.000 On purpose.
00:41:32.000 I do it every year because it's an easy drive from New York.
00:41:35.000 I'm sure I'll sell a lot of tickets there after what we just said about it.
00:41:37.000 Listen, the people there agree with you.
00:41:39.000 They don't want to be there.
00:41:40.000 They're like, ah, I can't.
00:41:41.000 Screen parts are good.
00:41:42.000 Fairfield, great crowds.
00:41:43.000 But as you said, people bleed in from all sides.
00:41:45.000 So you get good people, but you get people that just want to fuck.
00:41:48.000 They want blood.
00:41:49.000 Animals.
00:41:49.000 They want blood.
00:41:50.000 And also, they're not doing great, so they don't want you to do great.
00:41:53.000 Life is...
00:41:54.000 There's not a lot of hope there.
00:41:56.000 There's not a lot going on.
00:41:57.000 It's a tough state.
00:41:58.000 It's not my favorite.
00:41:59.000 But then it's weird.
00:42:00.000 But then you go to other places.
00:42:01.000 Like, I'll tell you this.
00:42:02.000 Providence, Rhode Island.
00:42:03.000 Some of the best crowds.
00:42:04.000 Fucking great.
00:42:04.000 Some of the best crowds you'll ever see.
00:42:06.000 Fucking great.
00:42:06.000 Yeah, Rhode Island's great.
00:42:07.000 I love doing stand-up in Rhode Island.
00:42:09.000 It's beautiful.
00:42:09.000 It's small and it's a cool...
00:42:11.000 It's a great place.
00:42:12.000 Providence is cool.
00:42:13.000 But I bombed harder in Rhode Island than I ever have in my life.
00:42:16.000 Really?
00:42:16.000 I did a Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.
00:42:19.000 I can't imagine why this didn't go well.
00:42:21.000 Jack and Jill is...
00:42:22.000 Do you know what it is?
00:42:23.000 What is it?
00:42:23.000 It was a concept they tried for a while in the 80s.
00:42:26.000 It was Adam Sandler's All The Strippers?
00:42:28.000 He played both.
00:42:29.000 It was a guy stripper and a girl stripper.
00:42:32.000 So it was for couples.
00:42:34.000 So a male stripper would go out and strip, and then a female stripper.
00:42:38.000 And you can only imagine the quality of these people.
00:42:41.000 They all looked like they had fetal alcohol syndrome.
00:42:44.000 Oh my gosh.
00:42:44.000 And the audience, there's a lot of Portuguese sailors and fishermen that live in that village, in this town.
00:42:52.000 So half the people barely spoke English.
00:42:55.000 And there might have been 15, 20 people in the audience.
00:42:58.000 Wow.
00:42:58.000 And it's not bombing, because it was total silence.
00:43:02.000 It was almost like I was just doing stand-up in my apartment.
00:43:06.000 It wasn't like real stand-up.
00:43:07.000 There was nothing going on.
00:43:08.000 Yeah.
00:43:09.000 There was zero response.
00:43:10.000 Totally.
00:43:10.000 They were just waiting for me to bring up this next person who had a terrible life.
00:43:14.000 The guy had really bad tattoos that he had covered up with bandanas.
00:43:18.000 And you could see the shitty tattoo leaking out under the bandana.
00:43:22.000 And I'll never forget, the girl had a tattoo on her ass of a snake.
00:43:28.000 That looked like it was, like, tattooed, like, in prison.
00:43:32.000 You know, like, one of them, like, dot, dot, dot tattoo.
00:43:34.000 It was fucking horrible.
00:43:36.000 Wow.
00:43:37.000 Yeah.
00:43:37.000 That is, yeah, that was some of those holidays.
00:43:39.000 That's the worst bombing I've ever, as good a, as, well, the worst bombing I ever had, I followed Jim Brewer one night.
00:43:45.000 He was a tough follow.
00:43:46.000 He was a tough follow.
00:43:46.000 And this was, like, three years in a comedy, I really shouldn't have been headlining.
00:43:50.000 We're both kind of in the same part of our career, but somehow or another my manager weaseled it so that I was headlining.
00:43:57.000 And so I did good every show except the last show Saturday night.
00:44:03.000 He was on fire!
00:44:05.000 Yeah.
00:44:06.000 And everything was bad.
00:44:08.000 Everything was bad.
00:44:08.000 I had just torn my ACL, so my knee was fucked up, so I couldn't move that good.
00:44:12.000 And I was dressed nice, because my manager had convinced me, you should dress nice.
00:44:17.000 So I'm dressed like I'm going out to a club.
00:44:19.000 So I had like Cavaricci pants on and a nice shirt, and I looked like such a douchebag.
00:44:25.000 And I was terrified.
00:44:26.000 Because I knew I was going to bomb.
00:44:28.000 Because I didn't know how to handle going on after someone who was really good back then.
00:44:32.000 Because it didn't happen that often.
00:44:33.000 When someone would kill so hard.
00:44:35.000 He had this bit about coming home drunk and running into his mother.
00:44:40.000 And it was so funny.
00:44:41.000 And he just was feeling it.
00:44:43.000 You know, he just caught that vibe.
00:44:45.000 You know, sometimes guys are just in the fucking zone.
00:44:48.000 And he was in the zone just crushing.
00:44:50.000 And I just ate shit.
00:44:52.000 He is like the total package where he could do impressions.
00:44:55.000 It's like Shane, where he can do voices and stuff, but then there's writing to defend it.
00:44:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:44:59.000 And he's so physical.
00:45:01.000 He's so funny looking, too.
00:45:03.000 He's like a human cartoon.
00:45:04.000 He is.
00:45:05.000 And he's so likable.
00:45:06.000 It's like everything is going great for him.
00:45:09.000 Yeah, I remember he had a story on Ari's This Is Not Happening that was so freaking funny.
00:45:14.000 He's a great storyteller.
00:45:16.000 He's good at everything.
00:45:17.000 He's also a guy that got on Saturday Night Live and was like, fuck this.
00:45:22.000 Fuck all.
00:45:22.000 He talked to his wife about it.
00:45:23.000 His wife's like, why don't you quit?
00:45:25.000 He's like, quit Saturday Night Live?
00:45:27.000 Really?
00:45:27.000 And she was like, yeah, get out of there.
00:45:29.000 Fuck this.
00:45:29.000 That was the 90s.
00:45:30.000 That's when, like, you were like, I'll get a movie deal out of it.
00:45:34.000 Like, that was such a launching pad in the 90s.
00:45:36.000 But he walked away from all of it.
00:45:38.000 Like, on purpose.
00:45:39.000 Not because he didn't have prospects or talent.
00:45:42.000 And not because people weren't interested in him.
00:45:44.000 He's like, fuck that.
00:45:44.000 I'm gonna live in New Jersey.
00:45:45.000 I don't give a shit.
00:45:47.000 I just don't fucking care.
00:45:48.000 I really don't fucking care.
00:45:49.000 I'm just gonna do stand-up.
00:45:50.000 And that's what he did.
00:45:51.000 And he still does it.
00:45:52.000 He's still, like, one of the best ever.
00:45:54.000 A lot of great stand-ups don't get their shine on SNL, I feel like.
00:45:57.000 Even Chris Rock's a great example.
00:45:59.000 I'm like, he was funny on SNL, but then when he left, that's when it's like, oh, that's Chris Rock.
00:46:03.000 Right.
00:46:03.000 I feel like Colin Quinn's another one.
00:46:05.000 He's so great at stand-up.
00:46:07.000 So many great stand-ups.
00:46:09.000 It's a hard format for a great stand-up, I feel like.
00:46:11.000 It's a dead format.
00:46:13.000 It's still alive, but it's not the same thing.
00:46:16.000 To compare that to Belushi and Aykroyd, it's not...
00:46:20.000 It's not really Saturday.
00:46:21.000 They never get appreciated until 20 years later.
00:46:24.000 Everyone said that cast sucked.
00:46:26.000 I liked them a lot.
00:46:27.000 I was a kid watching that.
00:46:28.000 Who said that cast sucked?
00:46:30.000 At the time, people were always like, well, they're not Phil Hartman.
00:46:33.000 Whatever classes before.
00:46:35.000 Yeah, totally.
00:46:36.000 When I was a kid, I remember people being like, but I was like, holy shit, Will Ferrell.
00:46:40.000 I loved it.
00:46:41.000 I thought they were great.
00:46:42.000 Well, at one point in time, it was so much freer.
00:46:46.000 The subject matter and the material that you could do, they could get wild.
00:46:52.000 Jane, you ignorant slut.
00:46:55.000 Think about some of the shit that they said when Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase were word association.
00:47:01.000 Like, did you ever see that bit?
00:47:02.000 Yeah.
00:47:02.000 Oh, dude.
00:47:02.000 Holy shit.
00:47:03.000 But that's TV now.
00:47:04.000 I remember, I was trying to get a, you know, for this special, I was trying to get a Tonight Show set cooking.
00:47:07.000 And if I told you the notes, you would never...
00:47:10.000 Oh, I would know.
00:47:11.000 It's...
00:47:12.000 Because the set was approved by the booker.
00:47:14.000 It wasn't his fault.
00:47:14.000 It's standards and practices where I was like, first off, I had a trans joke.
00:47:17.000 And they were like, you can't do a trans joke.
00:47:19.000 And I said, well, it's pro-trans.
00:47:20.000 It's a very, you know, pro-trans joke.
00:47:22.000 And they were like, you can't acknowledge them.
00:47:25.000 I was like, that's more offensive than what I'm doing.
00:47:27.000 You can't acknowledge them?
00:47:29.000 And then...
00:47:31.000 I got a note.
00:47:32.000 You can't say the word hot chick.
00:47:35.000 I didn't even know I said that word.
00:47:36.000 I was like, I said that?
00:47:38.000 You can't say hot chick?
00:47:39.000 I was like, by the way, there was a Hitler joke in there.
00:47:41.000 I didn't get a note on that.
00:47:43.000 But hot chick is offensive, apparently.
00:47:44.000 I don't know.
00:47:45.000 Can I open this, by the way?
00:47:46.000 Yeah, open it.
00:47:47.000 I brought our whiskey here.
00:47:48.000 This is yours.
00:47:48.000 This is me and Mark Norman's whiskey, Bodega Cat.
00:47:50.000 We had some of this the other day.
00:47:51.000 I love it.
00:47:51.000 I'm very happy with it.
00:47:52.000 It's on bodegacatspirits.com if you want to get a bottle.
00:47:55.000 It's very good.
00:47:56.000 And this is you guys developed it?
00:47:58.000 Yeah.
00:47:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:47:59.000 How did you do that?
00:47:59.000 Well, this distillery...
00:48:01.000 Cheers, brother.
00:48:01.000 Cheers.
00:48:02.000 Thanks for having me again.
00:48:03.000 This is fun.
00:48:03.000 Pleasure.
00:48:03.000 Thanks for being here.
00:48:04.000 Been wanting to have you on for a while.
00:48:08.000 I love it.
00:48:09.000 Yeah, well, it was basically a whiskey.
00:48:13.000 It's rye.
00:48:14.000 They make it in Indianapolis.
00:48:15.000 He's based out of Houston, Chris Hart.
00:48:18.000 And it's just a really good rye.
00:48:21.000 We sampled...
00:48:22.000 We sampled, like, nine different ryes, and this was far and away our favorite, but I'll tell you, sampling nine ryes, like, we're not, we don't know, you're not supposed to swallow it, we're just getting fucked up trying it.
00:48:32.000 We're not classy enough to be like, oh, you spit it out, that's how you sample it.
00:48:35.000 We're just, Mark and I are just wasted, you know, but it's, yeah, this is the one we liked, and, uh.
00:48:40.000 Bodega Cat just felt very New York to us.
00:48:42.000 Yeah.
00:48:42.000 We tried to do Fat Cat originally because of the double meaning.
00:48:45.000 You're like, oh, it's like upscale, classy, but also it's a fat cat.
00:48:48.000 Who doesn't like a fat cat?
00:48:49.000 They're fun.
00:48:50.000 I like Bodega Cat.
00:48:51.000 It's a good name.
00:48:52.000 It's a good name, and people are liking it.
00:48:55.000 I'm pumped.
00:48:56.000 I can't wait to get it served at the Comedy Cellar.
00:48:58.000 That, to me, is like, oh, my God.
00:48:59.000 Right, to see it on the shelf.
00:49:00.000 Yeah, Liz, the manager of the Cellar, who just gives me endless shit, is like, we're going to serve it here.
00:49:05.000 I was like...
00:49:05.000 Wow, you're gonna serve it?
00:49:06.000 She's like, it'll be our, like, Manhattan Old Fashioned.
00:49:09.000 Oh.
00:49:09.000 And I was like, that's fucking exciting.
00:49:10.000 That's nice.
00:49:11.000 So I'm pumped.
00:49:12.000 Yeah, I, uh, sampling alcohol, you ever see how they do wine tasting?
00:49:16.000 They have, like, a spittoon.
00:49:17.000 Yeah.
00:49:17.000 They just spit it out into it.
00:49:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:19.000 It just seems so fucking weird.
00:49:20.000 It feels wasteful.
00:49:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:49:22.000 It doesn't feel right to do.
00:49:24.000 No, it's kind of strange.
00:49:25.000 Like, you're just wishing around your mouth and then spitting it out.
00:49:28.000 Yeah, I like getting wine drunk.
00:49:30.000 I feel like dudes will give wine a bad name sometimes, but like, wine is fun to get fucked up on.
00:49:35.000 You're like silly and, you know...
00:49:36.000 It's a different drunk.
00:49:37.000 It's a different drunk.
00:49:38.000 Whiskey's a different drunk from wine.
00:49:39.000 Tequila's a different drunk.
00:49:40.000 Is that your drink, tequila?
00:49:42.000 Well, I've been drinking it lately because you don't feel as bad the next day.
00:49:45.000 Yeah.
00:49:45.000 There's something about tequila that doesn't give you the same hangover.
00:49:48.000 For sure.
00:49:49.000 And, you know, Bert Kreischer, who's a notorious drunk, he's been wearing his whoop strap, and he switched over to tequila, and he sends me his, like, recovery from his whoop strap.
00:49:57.000 And it's, like, fucking 95%.
00:49:59.000 I'm like, how are you, what?
00:50:01.000 He goes, I tied one on, too.
00:50:03.000 And I'm like, how is that possible?
00:50:04.000 If he says that, it's bad.
00:50:05.000 If he says that, it's bad.
00:50:06.000 I remember, actually, I opened for him in Hartford, Connecticut, like, probably a decade ago or so, maybe more, and it was, like, his weekend off, and he was still out drinking us.
00:50:15.000 It was insane.
00:50:16.000 I was like, I'm pretty drunk.
00:50:17.000 And he was like, oh, I'm going to take the weekend off.
00:50:19.000 He's still going through pitchers of beer, ordering Taco Bell for everybody.
00:50:23.000 I was like, this guy fucking drinks.
00:50:25.000 He's an animal.
00:50:26.000 He also put gay porn in my merch bag.
00:50:27.000 I was selling t-shirts at the time to make extra money as a middle act.
00:50:33.000 You sell t-shirts.
00:50:34.000 And Bert put gay porno mags when I opened and he was like, ha ha!
00:50:40.000 And I was like, I like this guy.
00:50:41.000 That was all it took.
00:50:42.000 I was like, I like this guy.
00:50:43.000 I was at the Comedy Store once, and I called Bert up, and he answers the phone, and he's on a motorcycle in Vietnam.
00:50:50.000 And I go, what are you doing?
00:50:51.000 And he goes, I'm doing my Travel Channel show.
00:50:53.000 I'm on a motorcycle in Vietnam.
00:50:55.000 And I said, dude, you need to quit that fucking show.
00:50:58.000 I go, you really should quit, and you should really just be a stand-up.
00:51:02.000 And he's like, oh, I don't know.
00:51:04.000 It's like such a good gig.
00:51:05.000 I go, dude, you're such a funny guy.
00:51:06.000 You're so funny.
00:51:08.000 And you think they were stripping that from him on this show?
00:51:10.000 Yeah.
00:51:10.000 Yes!
00:51:11.000 They were watering him down.
00:51:13.000 I mean, he was scared of, like, smoking pot on our show, on podcasts.
00:51:18.000 He couldn't smoke pot.
00:51:19.000 He would have Jamie turn the camera away when he would smoke pot.
00:51:22.000 Wow.
00:51:22.000 Yeah.
00:51:23.000 He was scared that the Travel Channel would find out he's smoking pot.
00:51:26.000 Because the people that owned it were very religious.
00:51:28.000 Like, Bourdain had a real problem with them, too.
00:51:30.000 Went on this, like, notorious rant against them when he left them.
00:51:33.000 He kind of made them, too.
00:51:34.000 He did make them, yeah.
00:51:35.000 I mean, Bourdain is, like, how I live life on the road.
00:51:38.000 I'm like, I will make...
00:51:40.000 Kalamazoo, Michigan, great.
00:51:41.000 Yeah.
00:51:42.000 Like, his philosophy of just making every city count, I fucking love that, dude.
00:51:46.000 Oh, he loved to travel and to go to these little small dives and talk to the owner and see how they made the fish and chips, and he loved it, yeah.
00:51:56.000 He was so cool.
00:51:57.000 And his narratives, like, his narration, his monologues were so fantastic.
00:52:02.000 He's a great writer.
00:52:03.000 He was such a good writer and a great orator, too.
00:52:06.000 So he was great at telling stories and, like, his real love for, like, what these people are doing and these cultures and these communities.
00:52:13.000 And he would just go out and, like, hey, show me.
00:52:15.000 Take me around.
00:52:16.000 I loved it.
00:52:17.000 It was amazing.
00:52:18.000 He could kick it with Michelin chefs.
00:52:19.000 He could kick it with a street chef.
00:52:21.000 I loved that.
00:52:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:52:22.000 And I loved that he...
00:52:24.000 Every once in a while, he would be like, hey man, Detroit's fucked up.
00:52:27.000 This is America.
00:52:28.000 I like that he would kind of take a stand every once in a while, too.
00:52:32.000 He was just cool.
00:52:34.000 He was a very moral and ethical guy.
00:52:37.000 He was a tough one.
00:52:39.000 He died.
00:52:40.000 I was fucked up for a while.
00:52:41.000 You guys were close.
00:52:44.000 He's just like a guy that I was so excited that he was my friend.
00:52:48.000 When I first met him, I said, my wife says you're my boyfriend.
00:52:53.000 And he was like, okay.
00:52:55.000 It was like, oh my god, fuck.
00:53:00.000 You're like, am I blowing it with Bourdain?
00:53:02.000 This sucks.
00:53:02.000 I was like, no!
00:53:04.000 Don't fuck this up!
00:53:05.000 The only thing that saved me, I think, was that I met him at a UFC and he was a giant UFC fan.
00:53:09.000 And this was actually before he had gotten into jiu-jitsu.
00:53:12.000 His wife was into jiu-jitsu and then he started getting into the UFC and then he started coming to the shows.
00:53:16.000 And then he started coming to my stand-up and then we started hanging out and then, you know, went to dinner with him a bunch of times.
00:53:22.000 Going to dinner with Bourdain was fucking amazing.
00:53:24.000 That's the dream.
00:53:25.000 That's like the dream dinner guy.
00:53:27.000 It was like showing up at a rock show with Mick Jagger.
00:53:30.000 It's like you were with Bourdain.
00:53:32.000 The chefs would all come out and they would insist on just off the menu, let us cook for you.
00:53:38.000 Wow.
00:53:39.000 Yeah, it was incredible.
00:53:40.000 I found a lot of restaurants through his show.
00:53:42.000 I remember I would go to a place in SF called Swan Oyster Depot.
00:53:46.000 And I was like, oh, Bourdain's.
00:53:48.000 And they were like, yeah, all the locals were furious because they were like, we used to be able to come here.
00:53:52.000 Now there's a line down the block, you know?
00:53:54.000 But he also was like, man, he's helping businesses too.
00:53:56.000 It's pretty cool.
00:53:57.000 Yeah, the locals have to let it go.
00:53:59.000 That's part of the beauty of it.
00:54:00.000 Great food too.
00:54:00.000 Other people found out about it.
00:54:02.000 Yeah.
00:54:02.000 He just had this fucking passion for things.
00:54:05.000 I used to be able to text him and say, like, hey, I'm going to Tokyo.
00:54:08.000 Where should I eat?
00:54:10.000 It was the best.
00:54:11.000 He would tell you, like, you've got to go to this sushi place.
00:54:13.000 You've got to go to this place.
00:54:14.000 And he would, like, give you a detailed rundown of all the places to go to.
00:54:19.000 That's an amazing friend to have.
00:54:21.000 I have an old phone that I have.
00:54:23.000 I change my number all the time.
00:54:25.000 And I keep this number because I have text messages from him.
00:54:29.000 Wow.
00:54:29.000 I'm just like, I'm not getting rid of that number.
00:54:31.000 I'm just going to keep that number just for that.
00:54:34.000 Just to go over the text messages and see pictures and shit he would send me.
00:54:38.000 Damn, I'm sorry.
00:54:40.000 You know, there's a lot of photos of him and stuff around the studio to remind me.
00:54:46.000 It sucks when you think you could have helped.
00:54:49.000 That's what sucks the most.
00:54:50.000 You know, when a friend takes their own life and you're like, God damn it, I wish I was there.
00:54:54.000 I think if I was there, I could have helped.
00:54:57.000 Yeah.
00:54:57.000 There's usually nothing you could do, though.
00:54:59.000 There's usually nothing.
00:55:00.000 And you can't blame yourself for that shit.
00:55:02.000 Well, he was in a fucking terrible relationship.
00:55:03.000 And it was also, that motherfucker would go hard.
00:55:08.000 We did this show once.
00:55:10.000 I did his show.
00:55:11.000 We went hunting in Montana.
00:55:13.000 We went pheasant hunting.
00:55:14.000 And he shot a bird.
00:55:17.000 And we cooked it, and we cooked a bunch of other birds that these guys had cooked, and we all just got drunk around a campfire.
00:55:23.000 It was fucking legendary.
00:55:24.000 But we were vaping, and he kept hitting off the vape pen, and it was pretty obvious.
00:55:31.000 He wasn't trying to get fucked up.
00:55:32.000 He was trying to get obliterated.
00:55:34.000 And it was like, bottles of whiskey, let's keep going.
00:55:37.000 What the fuck?
00:55:38.000 Where's the whiskey?
00:55:38.000 What do we got?
00:55:39.000 He just wanted to keep going.
00:55:41.000 Everybody else is obliterated and he's still throwing them down.
00:55:45.000 He went harder than anybody that I've ever seen.
00:55:47.000 Once you're not enjoying the drug you're consuming and you're just trying to get fucking out of the world.
00:55:54.000 There was angst.
00:55:55.000 There was a fucking fire burning that he couldn't put out.
00:55:59.000 No matter how much he poured on it, it was always there.
00:56:02.000 Damn.
00:56:03.000 Yeah.
00:56:04.000 And you know, you know, you don't get to know, I mean, you get to know like little pieces of the tapestry.
00:56:11.000 You don't get to see the overall terrain with a guy like that.
00:56:15.000 You don't know like how much trouble really is in that mind.
00:56:20.000 Because he seemed like an old school guy in a sense who didn't like overshare either.
00:56:24.000 No.
00:56:24.000 I mean, you know, he'd talk to you about stuff.
00:56:27.000 He'd talk to you about stuff, but it just was, you know, it's hard.
00:56:31.000 And it's also hard for him to open up around people because he was the man, you know, and everybody loved him.
00:56:36.000 And, like, he was like, you were aware that you were around him when you were around him.
00:56:40.000 It was kind of like everybody was, like, on their best behavior.
00:56:43.000 It was like, you know, he was just, he was a legendary cultural figure.
00:56:47.000 I saw him at a Knicks game once, and I used to have a show on the Knicks network, so we were in the special area, and Larry Johnson, who was one of my favorite players growing up, I'd just watch LJ see Anthony Bourdain and go, oh my god, Mr. Bourdain!
00:57:01.000 I was like, oh my god, LJ! You know, it's like all those things at once where you're like, holy shit, it's crazy that...
00:57:07.000 He had that impact everywhere he went.
00:57:10.000 I'm watching my favorite athletes growing up be starstruck.
00:57:13.000 Well, there's a thing about authenticity that comes through, and especially authenticity when a guy's created something like his narratives, like his writing, and the way he would love places.
00:57:24.000 You're like, fuck, that guy was cool.
00:57:26.000 You wanted to be around him.
00:57:29.000 As legit a person as I've ever met.
00:57:31.000 Like, what you wanted him to be, like, God, I hope he's like this.
00:57:35.000 That's who he was.
00:57:36.000 Yeah.
00:57:37.000 But fucking tortured.
00:57:38.000 I think that comes...
00:57:39.000 It's like we were talking about, like, fucked up people make great art sometimes.
00:57:42.000 I mean, sometimes they're not pedophiles.
00:57:44.000 Sometimes they're just, you know, just suicidal drunks.
00:57:47.000 They're dark.
00:57:47.000 But also, like, you know, there's a great Leonard Cohen quote where he was being interviewed.
00:57:51.000 You know, one of the most depressing lyricists of all time.
00:57:55.000 Someone said, do you need to be depressed to create good stuff?
00:57:58.000 And he said, no, it's in spite of that that you create this stuff.
00:58:01.000 And that's important to remember, too.
00:58:02.000 I think people get, they romanticize the, you know, the miserable poet, in a sense.
00:58:07.000 And it's like, no, man, that's, like, it's like the starving artist.
00:58:10.000 You're better nourished.
00:58:11.000 Right, right, right.
00:58:13.000 But there's something about the fear that comes with being starving that it gives you this ambition just to move, just to do things.
00:58:20.000 And sometimes people don't have that.
00:58:22.000 And one of the things that happens to the starving artists when they get successful, they're not starving anymore and they don't want to move anymore because now they don't have to.
00:58:28.000 They don't have to go do something.
00:58:30.000 So sometimes they just hole up.
00:58:31.000 That gets really dark.
00:58:33.000 Yeah.
00:58:34.000 Because then they've had, they got this thing now, which they were always trying to achieve, and it didn't help at all.
00:58:39.000 Right.
00:58:39.000 And in fact, it alienated people.
00:58:41.000 Because now it makes you weird.
00:58:42.000 And now when you go out, everybody wants to talk to you, and you're like, oh.
00:58:46.000 So now you're more fucked up than you were before you were successful.
00:58:50.000 But you're right that Bourdain kept that, like, everyman quality, where he felt like he could talk to everyone, and so often when people become that successful, they lose their connection to reality, and they just surround themselves with yes-men a lot of the time.
00:59:01.000 And he never lost that, it seemed.
00:59:03.000 Yeah, no, I don't think he did.
00:59:05.000 You know, he could talk to...
00:59:06.000 But he genuinely wanted to hear from everybody, too.
00:59:08.000 It wasn't just that he wanted to talk to them.
00:59:11.000 He wanted to hear from them.
00:59:12.000 You know, he wanted to, like...
00:59:13.000 He was absorbing.
00:59:14.000 And that was part of the brilliance of the way he would write those narrations, those monologues, is that he had seen the world through their eyes, whether he was in Libya or whether he was in fucking Greece.
00:59:29.000 Everywhere he went, he absorbed their culture and wanted to give it life.
00:59:37.000 Yeah.
00:59:38.000 Yeah, it was a huge loss.
00:59:40.000 Yeah.
00:59:41.000 It was a bummer, man.
00:59:43.000 Heavy fucking bummer.
00:59:44.000 You know, and he was one of those guys that just, like, he would talk to other famous people.
00:59:48.000 I remember talking to him about this, like, you know, that he would talk to guys that had made it and guys that were his heroes, and he was like, does it ever get better?
00:59:58.000 And, you know, most of them were like, no.
01:00:00.000 This is it.
01:00:02.000 This is it.
01:00:03.000 And does what get better?
01:00:04.000 Like, just life?
01:00:05.000 Yeah.
01:00:06.000 I think one of the things that we have as comics that a lot of artists don't have is we have a community.
01:00:11.000 We have a group that we get together and we do the thing together.
01:00:15.000 You know, like last night I was saying at the show, we had Hans Kim, Bryan Simpson, David Lucas, Eddie Bravo, Tony Hinchcliffe, Shane Gillis, Ari Shafir, and me.
01:00:28.000 And we had the fucking best time.
01:00:31.000 We were all hammered, right?
01:00:33.000 Because we did the podcast.
01:00:35.000 We all got blacked out drunk.
01:00:37.000 And then we went and did Kill Tony that night.
01:00:39.000 And then the next night, we all did stand-up together.
01:00:41.000 And it was fucking magic.
01:00:43.000 And I was like, that is everything.
01:00:46.000 Because it's so hard sometimes to relate to other people.
01:00:50.000 Like, what you do.
01:00:52.000 You know, like, so, how do you come up with your jokes?
01:00:54.000 I'm like, you know, write, do stuff, I think of things.
01:00:58.000 But it was just like an instant connection with comics.
01:01:01.000 I mean, like, I've never met you.
01:01:02.000 You're easy to talk to, and it's, you know, it's the comic thing.
01:01:06.000 Yes.
01:01:06.000 I know you're also, you know, you've done a lot of interviews in your day, you know, to do this, but also there's a thing past that where you're like, There is a comic connection where, like, you're in the green room.
01:01:16.000 You don't know the guy opening for you.
01:01:17.000 He sits down.
01:01:19.000 It's not weird, usually.
01:01:20.000 Right.
01:01:20.000 It's like, hey, what's up?
01:01:21.000 Yeah.
01:01:22.000 It's like people know how to be.
01:01:23.000 Yeah, where'd you start?
01:01:24.000 Where are you from?
01:01:25.000 You know, what's your opening club?
01:01:26.000 Where'd you go?
01:01:27.000 I mean, the Comedy Cellar, I remember, like, at first I was so nervous to work there because I had so much reverence for that club as a young New York comic.
01:01:34.000 I wouldn't go there before I worked there.
01:01:36.000 I was too nervous.
01:01:37.000 I had too much respect for the club.
01:01:39.000 And then when I started working there...
01:01:41.000 You know, she books me on these, like, 11.30 shows every night, and then I'm going on at 1 a.m.
01:01:47.000 every night.
01:01:47.000 And you're like, oh, shit, my lifestyle's really changing.
01:01:49.000 And then I look around, I'm like, oh, I get to watch Dave Attell every night because I'm on the late show.
01:01:55.000 So you're like, holy shit.
01:01:57.000 And then you kind of become, you know, friendly with those guys.
01:02:00.000 And you kind of start to—I mean, I learn more from watching Dave Attell than anything— In comedy.
01:02:06.000 You can't learn more.
01:02:08.000 To me, he's the best comic I've ever seen.
01:02:10.000 He's one of the greatest of all time.
01:02:12.000 Yeah.
01:02:13.000 Unquestionably.
01:02:13.000 And he's so fucking funny.
01:02:16.000 It's like the shortest swing you'll ever see.
01:02:18.000 It's like when you're watching Ichiro and you're like, he can't not get on base.
01:02:23.000 Right.
01:02:23.000 I mean, he was so funny.
01:02:26.000 I opened for him a bunch on the road, and you just learn so much.
01:02:31.000 From watching how this guy conducts himself.
01:02:33.000 He grabs the paper.
01:02:34.000 He's reading the paper.
01:02:35.000 He's making local references.
01:02:37.000 He's riffing on the crowd.
01:02:38.000 He gets bored on stage, so he brings me on.
01:02:40.000 And then I'm fucking like, I have to riff with you?
01:02:43.000 I have to, like, you know?
01:02:45.000 It's terrifying, but I remember we were driving back from a gig once in Tarrytown, New York.
01:02:49.000 We did that musical, and then we were driving back, and he was like, man, I fucking suck.
01:02:53.000 I fucking suck.
01:02:55.000 And I was like, we all think you're great.
01:02:56.000 And he said, well, I'm better than you guys.
01:02:58.000 LAUGHTER I mean, he just never didn't make me laugh.
01:03:03.000 And he was so...
01:03:04.000 He's such a great comedian that I was just...
01:03:07.000 I was always like...
01:03:09.000 I'm like, I'm not wasting a moment soaking this up.
01:03:11.000 I know how lucky I am to be near Dave Attell.
01:03:14.000 Yeah.
01:03:14.000 He's also one of those guys that is the worst self promoter of all time.
01:03:18.000 He doesn't promote at all.
01:03:19.000 Like he's just...
01:03:20.000 As far as like, as good as he is as a comic...
01:03:24.000 Like he's so self-deprecating and so like not interested in promoting himself.
01:03:29.000 He's so focused on just doing stand-up and quietly is the best comic alive.
01:03:35.000 He's funny concentrate.
01:03:36.000 Yeah.
01:03:36.000 It's like unfortunately a lot of the wrong people have self-esteem in this world.
01:03:40.000 And Dave is proof of that.
01:03:42.000 Because I'll see the worst comic I've ever fucking seen come off stage and be like, follow that.
01:03:46.000 And I'm like, that was bad.
01:03:47.000 And then you see Dave come off after murdering, and it's all new shit.
01:03:52.000 And he's like, oh, I'm a fucking hack.
01:03:54.000 And I'm like, dude, you're the best I've ever seen.
01:03:57.000 But don't you think that is important?
01:03:59.000 That disdain for your work?
01:04:03.000 A bit.
01:04:05.000 A little bit.
01:04:06.000 Too much.
01:04:06.000 Yeah, you have to have a hint.
01:04:07.000 If you don't have a hint of self-loathing, then you're just walking around all day like, I'm fucking awesome.
01:04:13.000 That's not funny.
01:04:14.000 That's not good either.
01:04:15.000 Yeah, if you have a little bit of like, I suck.
01:04:18.000 And here's the thing.
01:04:19.000 If you're doing new material all the time, you're going to feel that way.
01:04:22.000 Because if you're going up and killing all the time, you're just playing the hits.
01:04:26.000 If you're going up and kind of having up and down sets, that means you're taking some risks.
01:04:31.000 And then you're going to get off and be like, this isn't as good as my old stuff.
01:04:34.000 I fucking suck.
01:04:35.000 Right, which is really great about producing a special.
01:04:38.000 It's because once that special's done, start from scratch.
01:04:42.000 Oh, don't I know it.
01:04:43.000 Now you're a person who's people coming to see...
01:04:46.000 And you have zero weapons.
01:04:48.000 And you're like, shit.
01:04:49.000 That's what it feels like, weapons.
01:04:50.000 It feels like you're going into battle and you're like, I have a twig right now for battle.
01:04:54.000 And the crowd, they all have machetes and shit.
01:04:57.000 And you're like, fuck, I'm going to get killed.
01:04:58.000 And then as time goes on, you're sharpening this twig.
01:05:02.000 Now all of a sudden it's like a bow and arrow.
01:05:04.000 It's getting better and better.
01:05:07.000 By the time you shoot a special, hopefully it's like a fucking Uzi or something.
01:05:09.000 What is your writing process like?
01:05:11.000 Do you sit in front of a computer?
01:05:13.000 I take walks.
01:05:15.000 I take notes all day.
01:05:17.000 Sometimes I do voice memos.
01:05:18.000 I take notes on my phone.
01:05:19.000 I have Word documents that are like Every week that are like, you know, jokes from this month, this year.
01:05:26.000 And when I'm writing a new hour, I revisit those documents and they're in my email because I'm always, I back up and I'm still scared I'm gonna lose them.
01:05:33.000 Right.
01:05:34.000 And then I have like, you know, I have the classic comedy, like little notebooks, like fit in the back pocket of this shit.
01:05:39.000 I used to do that, but now I put everything on my phone.
01:05:42.000 I still have notebooks, but in my notebooks, it's never new stuff.
01:05:46.000 It just rewrite the things so that I know what I'm going to say exactly.
01:05:50.000 Memorization.
01:05:50.000 Yeah.
01:05:51.000 It looks like a crazy person.
01:05:52.000 It's like, all work, no play, it makes Johnny a dull boy.
01:05:55.000 That's all day.
01:05:57.000 I just write out all the stuff.
01:05:59.000 Yeah.
01:05:59.000 The Joe books are useless.
01:06:01.000 If anybody, like, you're looking for good ideas, they're not...
01:06:03.000 Those are just...
01:06:04.000 It's just shit.
01:06:05.000 They're notes.
01:06:06.000 I'm just writing out my stuff.
01:06:08.000 And then, also, I'll take index cards.
01:06:11.000 Like, if I have a really big show, like, if Chappelle and I are doing an arena, I'll sit down and I'll write out bulletin points on all these index cards and I'll lay them out on the coffee table in the green room.
01:06:20.000 So I'll get there an hour early.
01:06:22.000 So that way, I have zero thought about, like, whether or not I know exactly where everything goes and then I could just be kind of free with it.
01:06:29.000 By the way, do you realize how cool a sentence that just was?
01:06:32.000 When Chappelle and I do an arena.
01:06:34.000 That's one of the coolest sentences ever said.
01:06:36.000 You know, we just roll into the fucking arenas, dude.
01:06:39.000 Arenas are weird.
01:06:40.000 They're really weird.
01:06:41.000 They're weird, but they're fun as shit, man.
01:06:43.000 Especially when you do them in the round.
01:06:44.000 They're really wild.
01:06:45.000 Damn.
01:06:45.000 Because when you do them in a round, you're surrounded by people.
01:06:49.000 So it's like a really good seat for everyone in the house.
01:06:51.000 You know, it kind of sucks if you're up at the top, but then there's these giant fucking screens everywhere.
01:06:56.000 You get to see it.
01:06:57.000 Do you like arenas?
01:06:58.000 I love them.
01:06:59.000 Do you prefer it to, like, big theaters?
01:07:00.000 No.
01:07:01.000 No, I don't prefer anything.
01:07:02.000 I like clubs more than anything.
01:07:04.000 I like doing the Vulcan.
01:07:05.000 Like, you're gonna do it with me tonight?
01:07:07.000 I'm pumped.
01:07:07.000 270 people.
01:07:08.000 That's the perfect amount of people.
01:07:09.000 It's perfect.
01:07:10.000 And it's fucking dirty.
01:07:11.000 It's on 6th Street, and everyone's hammered.
01:07:14.000 And we sell that place out just word of mouth.
01:07:17.000 There's no advertising.
01:07:19.000 It's every Tuesday and Wednesday we're there, so it's always packed.
01:07:21.000 And that's where you workshop.
01:07:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:07:23.000 And that's where we fuck around.
01:07:24.000 And that's where Shane was there last night.
01:07:26.000 And, you know, Norman's done it a bunch of times.
01:07:28.000 And Ari.
01:07:29.000 And it's like Brian Simpson and David Lucas.
01:07:31.000 And those guys just moved here to Austin, too.
01:07:33.000 And we got a great crew that lives here in Austin.
01:07:37.000 I mean, Tim Dillon's here.
01:07:38.000 Tom Segura.
01:07:39.000 Christina Brzezinski.
01:07:39.000 Does Tim live here full-time now?
01:07:41.000 Tim has a house here, and he has a house in Beverly Hills.
01:07:43.000 But he shits all over Austin every time he's here.
01:07:45.000 It's like, it's the worst city.
01:07:47.000 Joe Rogan, I'm thinking of suing him.
01:07:49.000 You know, it's like...
01:07:49.000 He came early on, and I was supposed to have this one club.
01:07:54.000 I bought a club and in the process of going through all the stuff with the architect, the architect was like, hey, do you know that these guys are non-compliant on a serious environmental order?
01:08:06.000 And I'm like, what?
01:08:07.000 And so it turned out that this road that led up to the club, there's a driveway to get down to the parking lot and the driveway was above a creek.
01:08:18.000 And they were like, all the water that rushes down here is gonna catch all the stuff that leaks off of people's cars.
01:08:26.000 Like all the oil and shit.
01:08:27.000 It's gonna go right in the creek.
01:08:28.000 So you have to build a 1.2 million biocontainment pond at the base of this parking lot.
01:08:36.000 And even that doesn't guarantee you're not gonna get some seepage into the creek.
01:08:40.000 Damn.
01:08:40.000 And I was like, there's not a fucking chance in hell.
01:08:43.000 There's gonna be an article written, Joe Rogan's killing fish in the river with his shitty jokes.
01:08:47.000 I'm like, oh no.
01:08:49.000 I can see.
01:08:50.000 Because I would be mad.
01:08:51.000 I care about lakes and creeks and rivers.
01:08:55.000 I like fishing.
01:08:56.000 I'm like, fuck this.
01:08:57.000 I'm not doing this.
01:08:58.000 So we had to bail out of that spot.
01:08:59.000 And then we got this other spot.
01:09:01.000 See, the other spot is in a way better place.
01:09:02.000 What's it called?
01:09:03.000 The club?
01:09:03.000 It's called the Comedy Mothership.
01:09:05.000 Nice.
01:09:06.000 That's cool.
01:09:07.000 It's fucking dope.
01:09:08.000 When's it gonna open?
01:09:09.000 Probably somewhere around January, it looks like.
01:09:11.000 We were supposed to get the keys in December, but we changed a few things that are gonna tack on some time, but most of the hard work is already done, and you get to see the bones of the club, you get to see the structure, what it's gonna look like.
01:09:23.000 I'll take you over there.
01:09:24.000 I can't wait to see it.
01:09:25.000 It's fucking wild.
01:09:26.000 Yeah.
01:09:26.000 It's beautiful.
01:09:27.000 It's really cool.
01:09:28.000 We're excited.
01:09:30.000 And it's also exciting to be able to do something where you're like, you know, there's no real, there's no executives in upper management, there's no corporate.
01:09:37.000 There's just me.
01:09:38.000 Yeah.
01:09:39.000 So it's just like fun.
01:09:40.000 And it's just like, I want it to be like a haven for stand-up.
01:09:43.000 Like, all your phones go in the bags, everyone has a yonder bag.
01:09:47.000 Oh wow, you're doing it upright.
01:09:49.000 Yeah, and we're just letting everybody know, like, this is for fun.
01:09:52.000 Like, this is where we're going to develop comedy, and this is going to be a place that, it's in the middle of the country, so it's a nice hub.
01:09:58.000 You can go to anywhere you want to go from there.
01:10:00.000 So if you want to, if you got gigs somewhere on a Friday and Saturday night, you want to come into Austin and do Wednesday, Thursday, bam, we got you.
01:10:07.000 That's pretty cool.
01:10:07.000 Yeah, we're excited.
01:10:09.000 That's exciting, man.
01:10:10.000 Yeah, there's like, a lot of clubs just don't do it right.
01:10:12.000 I mean, there's the classics, obviously, like in New York, thank God for the cellar, but there's a lot of clubs where you're like, Man, it's just so basic.
01:10:18.000 Just get us a fucking mic, an amp, low ceilings.
01:10:22.000 And when you do the clubs where the food is too good, I'm always a little annoyed.
01:10:26.000 Right.
01:10:27.000 Well, I don't like food during the show.
01:10:29.000 I don't want to smell a fucking ribeye when I'm mid-punchline.
01:10:32.000 I'm like, is that a chimichurri sauce?
01:10:34.000 Cool, I can't focus on my act.
01:10:36.000 Yeah, any club that doesn't put the comic first is like...
01:10:40.000 It's bound to fail.
01:10:41.000 I played so many fucking bad clubs.
01:10:43.000 I'm sure you did too.
01:10:44.000 I mean, it's like some of those clubs, you know, it's always got a Z in the title or something, like a strip club, you know?
01:10:50.000 Yeah.
01:10:51.000 Or comedy with a K. It's the comedy corner.
01:10:56.000 We did bonkers with a Z. That was fucking rough.
01:10:58.000 That was a bad one.
01:11:00.000 So many...
01:11:01.000 Oh, God.
01:11:02.000 I remember I did one club in Toledo that's no longer here.
01:11:04.000 It was called Laughs Inc.
01:11:06.000 with two Fs.
01:11:07.000 And I remember getting to the airport and my manager at the time texted me, did you cash your check yet?
01:11:12.000 I said, of course not.
01:11:13.000 I'm at the airport.
01:11:14.000 And he goes, cash it immediately.
01:11:15.000 And I was like, what do you mean?
01:11:17.000 He goes, the club just closed.
01:11:18.000 I'm like, two hours ago?
01:11:20.000 He goes, yeah, it went under.
01:11:21.000 I was literally the last comic to sit on stage there and...
01:11:25.000 I text the driver at the airport.
01:11:27.000 I was like, hey man, I'm so sorry about the club.
01:11:29.000 And he goes, what are you talking about?
01:11:30.000 I'm like, I'm not fucking breaking this to this dude.
01:11:32.000 So I was like, shit, all right, that's gone.
01:11:35.000 All those comics in the calendar ain't coming.
01:11:37.000 It happened a lot.
01:11:39.000 I remember I did a club in AC and not a good weekend to begin with.
01:11:43.000 I'm in Atlantic City.
01:11:44.000 It's a fucking horrible place.
01:11:45.000 It's fun for like a night because of that board.
01:11:48.000 It can be okay, but it's sad Vegas.
01:11:53.000 And Vegas ain't that upbeat to begin with after a couple nights.
01:11:56.000 But, you know, a couple nights in Vegas is fun.
01:11:58.000 Yeah, at least Vegas people think they're going to have a good time when they get there.
01:12:01.000 Atlantic City, they're like, okay, let's just go.
01:12:04.000 The way people leave Vegas is the way they enter Atlantic City.
01:12:07.000 But, yeah, I mean, look, Reno is pretty sad, too.
01:12:09.000 I mean, whatever.
01:12:10.000 But AC was like fucking, you know...
01:12:14.000 And I remember I'm doing a gig.
01:12:16.000 It's like a three headliner show.
01:12:19.000 We keep switching.
01:12:20.000 It's early on in my career.
01:12:22.000 And one of the guys is like a degenerate gambler.
01:12:24.000 One of the comics, he keeps losing money on baseball.
01:12:26.000 He's like, ah, I can't catch a fucking break.
01:12:29.000 That's all day in the green room.
01:12:30.000 I'm making me laugh my ass up.
01:12:33.000 But then on top of that, we all get stiffed on the bill.
01:12:36.000 I was like, oh man.
01:12:37.000 It wasn't like a good weekend to begin with.
01:12:38.000 I remember walking into the hotel and like stomping a cockroach.
01:12:41.000 I'm like, it's gonna be a long fucking week, you know?
01:12:43.000 But those are the great ones when you look back.
01:12:45.000 Yeah.
01:12:46.000 When you look back, those are the ones that give you the great feelings.
01:12:48.000 And when you're in a nice place, you appreciate it now.
01:12:51.000 For sure.
01:12:52.000 Yeah, I remember my friend Adam showed up.
01:12:53.000 He's a degenerate gambler.
01:12:55.000 You ever have that friend who's such a degenerate gambler?
01:12:57.000 He's just at the casino when you're there.
01:12:59.000 I'm like, I didn't tell him I was here.
01:13:01.000 He's just like, hey man.
01:13:01.000 I was like, you're here?
01:13:02.000 He's like, yeah.
01:13:03.000 I thought we'd make a weekend out of him.
01:13:04.000 I'm like, fuck.
01:13:06.000 I remember rolling out of the show and just passing him at a poker table, shit face, just poking at people going, you fucking fish.
01:13:14.000 He's winning a lot of money.
01:13:15.000 He's just trolling people.
01:13:17.000 He's a drunk.
01:13:17.000 I was like, I got Adam all week.
01:13:20.000 And I got stiff.
01:13:21.000 When I first came to New York in like 92, I played pool a lot.
01:13:26.000 And so I hung out mostly in pool halls.
01:13:29.000 So I would go to the pool hall during the day.
01:13:31.000 I'd work out, go to the pool hall, go to the comedy club at night, and then go back to the pool hall.
01:13:35.000 I stayed at the pool hall until 4 o'clock in the morning.
01:13:37.000 Wow.
01:13:37.000 That was my everyday thing.
01:13:39.000 And I was hanging out with all degenerate gamblers.
01:13:42.000 So it was the first time in my life that I was around like these kind of people that would bet on rainwater coming down a windowpane.
01:13:49.000 I'm not lying.
01:13:51.000 I saw that.
01:13:51.000 I'm sure, yeah.
01:13:52.000 They'd bet on everything.
01:13:53.000 They'd play cards, they'd play dice, they'd play everything.
01:13:57.000 And pool, of course, everybody was gambling on pool.
01:14:00.000 And I'd never been around people that their whole life revolved around chance.
01:14:05.000 It was so important to them.
01:14:07.000 It was like, to get that little rush, the fucking nine ball goes in, yes!
01:14:12.000 They lived for that.
01:14:13.000 They developed this sort of community where everybody fed off of The thrills of making or losing all your money.
01:14:21.000 I remember Artie Lang used to have that line where he'd say, you want to feel real rushed, bet $1,000 in the Giants when you have $500 in your bank account.
01:14:28.000 It's like, fuck, that sums it up right there.
01:14:31.000 I mean, yeah, I remember Adam, my friend, texted me once.
01:14:33.000 He's like, the fucking Minnesota Lynx loss.
01:14:35.000 I'm like, dude, you're betting on the WNBA. Get your shit together.
01:14:39.000 Get your fucking shit together.
01:14:41.000 And you're probably doing it through bookies, right?
01:14:43.000 Oh, yeah.
01:14:44.000 He's...
01:14:44.000 And now that they can do it online, it's pretty wild.
01:14:48.000 Like, now it's just kind of opened up for the world.
01:14:50.000 Yeah.
01:14:51.000 You can bet on most things.
01:14:53.000 And, like, with fights, you can bet on whether or not it happens in a round, a round and a half, decision.
01:14:58.000 You can bet on a draw, which is a crazy bet.
01:15:00.000 But you love it, so you don't feel the urge to ever bet on UFC, right?
01:15:03.000 I used to bet on UFC. Really?
01:15:05.000 Even when I was commentating, I bet on it early on.
01:15:07.000 And I'm like, this is probably not legal.
01:15:10.000 Like...
01:15:12.000 You're giving it away.
01:15:13.000 You're like, fuck, he's losing!
01:15:15.000 Well, there was some lines that were so bad that I had to gamble on him.
01:15:18.000 So my business partner for Onnit, Aubrey, he would come to a lot of the fights, and I would give him—he would gamble.
01:15:25.000 So when I stopped gambling, I would just say—and we were at like 84% success rate.
01:15:30.000 It was so crazy because I was always— There was these guys that were coming from Japan, and the matchmakers might have known about them, but the bookmakers didn't.
01:15:39.000 Wow.
01:15:39.000 So they had lines totally off.
01:15:41.000 They had guys who were even money that were a fucking steal.
01:15:44.000 And so there was certain fights I would go, I don't know about that one, but that one, bet the fucking house on the Brazilian guy.
01:15:51.000 Wow.
01:15:51.000 And we would do this, and it was a crazy success rate.
01:15:55.000 It was somewhere in the range of 84%, 85%.
01:15:59.000 Wow.
01:16:00.000 Yeah.
01:16:00.000 That's fucking insane.
01:16:02.000 Yeah, but I'm sure the lines are better now.
01:16:04.000 But every now and then, the lines are fucked.
01:16:06.000 Every now and then, I'm like, this doesn't make any sense.
01:16:09.000 Because to understand fighting and to understand the lines, you've got to watch this guy's whole fucking career.
01:16:14.000 You've got to watch 10, 15 fights.
01:16:16.000 You've got to watch him fight against wrestlers, fight against strikers.
01:16:19.000 What happens when he gets tired?
01:16:20.000 What happens if he gets into the third round?
01:16:23.000 Does he quit if he...
01:16:24.000 It starts getting dumb.
01:16:25.000 Some guys are very good as the hammer, but not so good as the nail.
01:16:29.000 Some guys don't bounce back.
01:16:31.000 They are just frontrunners.
01:16:32.000 And if they frontrun, they can steamroll over everybody.
01:16:35.000 But as soon as a fight gets rough, their confidence shatters and they fall off.
01:16:39.000 And so you've got to know what kind of scenarios this guy's been in.
01:16:44.000 And so it takes a lot of information.
01:16:46.000 And you have that information because you're a student of it.
01:16:48.000 It's interesting.
01:16:49.000 I mean...
01:16:50.000 Yeah, I never thought of it.
01:16:51.000 I mean, I don't know fighting in detail like you do, obviously.
01:16:54.000 The sport I really follow heavily is basketball, a little bit of football, baseball, you know, but basketball, if friends ask me to gamble, I'm like, I don't want to be told what to do with your money.
01:17:05.000 I can enjoy it without that.
01:17:06.000 I can watch two random teams, and I love the game, so I can enjoy it, but you have those friends who are like, just help me out.
01:17:13.000 I'm like...
01:17:15.000 I'm nervous taking your money and telling you what to do, but I do have a decent success rate with it.
01:17:19.000 What's your success rate about?
01:17:21.000 I mean, I'd say like 70%, 60%, 70%, which is not bad.
01:17:25.000 That's pretty fucking good.
01:17:25.000 If you were a gambler.
01:17:26.000 But I don't want to give my money to chance.
01:17:31.000 I'll do like $5 or $10 on FanDuel every once in a while because it's just fun, but I don't do it for money.
01:17:37.000 I don't like the idea of taking money that I worked for and then being like, Maybe.
01:17:41.000 Well, you know, I don't like that.
01:17:43.000 No, and for it to be something that really affects you, it's got to be a lot.
01:17:49.000 Yeah.
01:17:49.000 You know, so once you start making like five, ten grand a weekend, and then you put a grand on a game, you're like, ooh.
01:17:57.000 And then you're like, well, that was exciting.
01:17:58.000 What about $2,500?
01:18:00.000 Yeah.
01:18:01.000 You know, and then you lose a couple.
01:18:03.000 Now you're down five, and you're only making five this weekend.
01:18:05.000 You're like, oh, Jesus Christ.
01:18:07.000 Like, what am I doing?
01:18:08.000 Yeah.
01:18:09.000 If I'm at a casino, I'll do low stakes, blackjack, and I just tell myself, I'm okay losing this amount of money.
01:18:16.000 I just go in with that mentality.
01:18:18.000 Yeah, but you just lose it.
01:18:19.000 Yeah.
01:18:20.000 Unless you're good at it.
01:18:21.000 I'm not good at gambling.
01:18:22.000 I'm terrible.
01:18:22.000 I went to Vegas.
01:18:23.000 I was with Whitney Cummings.
01:18:26.000 I went with my wife, and Whitney was doing a gig.
01:18:28.000 So I went to a private gig with Drew...
01:18:31.000 No, not...
01:18:31.000 Who the fuck was it?
01:18:33.000 That's right.
01:18:34.000 Dana Carvey and Whitney Cummings were doing a gig in this lady's house.
01:18:39.000 Yeah.
01:18:40.000 They did a gig in this woman's house.
01:18:42.000 It's you, Dana, and Whitney.
01:18:44.000 I was just there with Whitney.
01:18:45.000 So I went on just to introduce Whitney.
01:18:48.000 Because I go, do you want me to bring you up?
01:18:49.000 And she's like, that'd be hilarious.
01:18:51.000 So I just brought her up at this lady's house.
01:18:53.000 I wasn't even supposed to be there.
01:18:54.000 Wow.
01:18:54.000 So I introduce her, and then she goes and does it.
01:18:57.000 And, you know, it was such a fucked up situation.
01:19:00.000 Like, she wound up just doing crowd work.
01:19:02.000 She was just, like, fucking around with these people.
01:19:04.000 And then we went and...
01:19:06.000 That's probably what they wanted, though.
01:19:07.000 That's probably the show they...
01:19:08.000 They were just happy to see Whitney and happy to see Dana Carvey in their house, you know, in the living room with all their friends at this weird party.
01:19:15.000 I did a gig like that once with my friend Rachel Feinstein and Ray Allen in an Orthodox Jewish home in Montclair, New Jersey.
01:19:22.000 Guy was worth a billion dollars.
01:19:24.000 Thirty-something-year-old guy.
01:19:26.000 Holy shit, man.
01:19:27.000 One of the worst gigs of my life.
01:19:30.000 Horrible.
01:19:31.000 I'm such trash.
01:19:32.000 They were like, take whatever liquor you want.
01:19:34.000 So I just took like a duffel bag.
01:19:35.000 I'm just like dumping liquor.
01:19:36.000 And Rachel was like, you're fucking garbage.
01:19:39.000 You're a garbage human being.
01:19:40.000 I was like, well, we hit the bomb for these people.
01:19:42.000 I may as well raid their liquor.
01:19:43.000 I'm taking like 24-year-old scotch.
01:19:45.000 I'm like, this is great.
01:19:46.000 And then as we're leaving, she's like, can I have a bottle?
01:19:48.000 I was like, no, you judged me for this.
01:19:49.000 And I gave her a bottle.
01:19:51.000 But, uh, terrible gig.
01:19:52.000 Was the gig, did they have restrictions on what you could talk about?
01:19:55.000 No, they just were fucking, like, they were, like, in this bubble.
01:19:58.000 You know those types of people where they're, like, they don't go out for entertainment.
01:20:00.000 So there's, like, a magician there.
01:20:02.000 He's just, like, handing out, like, he's doing tricks.
01:20:04.000 I'm like, dude, it's not...
01:20:05.000 We don't get it, whatever.
01:20:07.000 So then we're doing the gig.
01:20:09.000 We're all bombing.
01:20:10.000 It's terrible.
01:20:10.000 They were nice enough, but one guy cornered us and they were like, let him sing to you.
01:20:15.000 So he's singing Hebrew songs to us.
01:20:17.000 I'm like, this guy's got a terrible voice.
01:20:19.000 No one's told him because they live in a bubble.
01:20:21.000 So he's like two inches from my face just singing.
01:20:23.000 And I'm trying so hard to keep a straight face, but I can't.
01:20:26.000 I'm just laughing.
01:20:27.000 I can't stop laughing.
01:20:28.000 And I turn to Rachel, who's trying to avoid eye contact with me, because she knows if she sees me, she's going to break out.
01:20:34.000 She sees it.
01:20:34.000 We're just laughing at these people because we can't help it.
01:20:38.000 They just tell me he's a great singer because they're in a bubble and they don't know what good sound sounds like.
01:20:43.000 And they're super rich.
01:20:44.000 Yeah.
01:20:45.000 I mean, they were pouring.
01:20:46.000 They were like, do you want some fruity pebbles with goat milk?
01:20:48.000 And I'm like, sure.
01:20:50.000 You know?
01:20:50.000 It's fantastic.
01:20:52.000 It's great.
01:20:53.000 It's very high-end milk, I guess, and I was like, man.
01:20:56.000 High-end milk?
01:20:58.000 I'll try anything once.
01:20:59.000 As you get that rich, you start looking for high-end regular products.
01:21:03.000 Yeah.
01:21:04.000 Raw goat milk.
01:21:05.000 It was pretty good, but I'm also like, you know, I don't know if it was good or it was just good that I wasn't performing for them anymore.
01:21:11.000 You know, it was like a tough crowd.
01:21:13.000 Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to do those gigs, but those are the kind of gigs that you remember when you're later in life, when things are going well.
01:21:21.000 Oh, we were laughing the whole ride back.
01:21:23.000 It was one of those.
01:21:24.000 Yeah.
01:21:25.000 Those are the good ones.
01:21:26.000 Those are fun.
01:21:27.000 My friend Steve Rinell always says there's two kinds of fun.
01:21:29.000 There's fun that you have while you're having it that you never remember afterwards, like roller coasters are fun.
01:21:33.000 Yeah.
01:21:34.000 Nobody ever talks about roller coasters, like six months later.
01:21:36.000 Right.
01:21:37.000 But then you have horrible experiences, and six months later they're the best stories.
01:21:41.000 And you can sit around and laugh.
01:21:42.000 That's comedy.
01:21:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:21:44.000 That's the jokes.
01:21:45.000 The jokes come from the bad things.
01:21:46.000 Yeah.
01:21:47.000 The bad things that are now...
01:21:48.000 No one wants to hear, like, I did a great thing this time.
01:21:50.000 Who gives a shit?
01:21:51.000 Yeah.
01:21:51.000 I want to hear about you falling flat on your face and losing two teeth.
01:21:54.000 That's funny.
01:21:55.000 That's the funny story.
01:21:57.000 Exactly.
01:21:57.000 That's, like, the stories that come from bad experiences.
01:22:00.000 Yeah.
01:22:01.000 Oh, dude.
01:22:02.000 I remember whenever something bad happens to me, I'm like, it's going to be a bit.
01:22:05.000 And that's, like...
01:22:06.000 It provides comfort.
01:22:08.000 I mean, it really is, like, nice when, like, something bad happens, like, I'll get five minutes out of this.
01:22:12.000 Yeah.
01:22:13.000 That's why you, like, sometimes when I need a new album, I'm like, I'll live recklessly for a few months, you know?
01:22:19.000 My friend Stavros did a whole thing about it.
01:22:20.000 He's like, my therapist is on vacation for all of August.
01:22:23.000 I'm about to make some toxic fucking life choices.
01:22:25.000 I was like, yeah, I feel the same way, you know?
01:22:29.000 When you write, do you write in essay form?
01:22:32.000 Do you write in joke form?
01:22:34.000 Like, how do you write?
01:22:35.000 I'll try to do, like, I'll write long form and then I'll try to make it funny.
01:22:38.000 I'm like, where's the...
01:22:39.000 I mean, I fall ass...
01:22:40.000 That's why I do long sets.
01:22:41.000 I fall ass backwards into a lot of jokes where I'm like, oh, I guess that's the punchline.
01:22:45.000 Like, a lot of it's like, I don't realize it all the time.
01:22:47.000 Like, that's the great thing about comedy is, like, the crowd is a part of the editing, which I love.
01:22:51.000 So I'm like, well, the longer and more sets I get, the better chance I'll have.
01:22:55.000 I always felt like, well, I'm not the funniest guy, so I gotta work my fucking ass off if I wanna have a career at this, you know?
01:23:01.000 And I do a lot of jokes, so it's like you gotta just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.
01:23:07.000 It's the only way.
01:23:09.000 It's the only art form that I think exists where it's a cooperative venture with you in the audience.
01:23:16.000 And I love that about it.
01:23:17.000 There's something cool about that.
01:23:19.000 Everything else, you're like, this is good, it's done.
01:23:22.000 I mean, I guess some movies focus tests, but at that point, it's almost dangerous, I think, because that's not what that art is.
01:23:30.000 Some people don't do it that way, which is interesting to me.
01:23:34.000 Cosby would just write out a monologue, and he didn't perform in front of anybody, and then he would go and do it on stage.
01:23:41.000 Yeah.
01:23:42.000 He didn't play by the rules, you could say.
01:23:44.000 I knew you were going somewhere.
01:23:46.000 I saw your eyes roll to the left.
01:23:50.000 Carlin would do that too.
01:23:51.000 He would develop a monologue.
01:23:52.000 But he was more of a monologuist.
01:23:54.000 It's funny.
01:23:54.000 Carlin's style wouldn't have been embraced by Brooklyn hipsters.
01:23:58.000 They would have been like, no, you've got to act like you just thought of it.
01:24:01.000 Right.
01:24:01.000 Carlin was like...
01:24:02.000 And they would have been like, this is so prepared.
01:24:06.000 Whereas I think it's cool as fuck that he put that much work into it.
01:24:09.000 Yeah, that Brooklyn hipster thing.
01:24:11.000 That's a trap.
01:24:12.000 It's good to do everything.
01:24:13.000 Yeah.
01:24:14.000 It's a trap.
01:24:14.000 Cross-training.
01:24:15.000 But yeah, it's good to...
01:24:18.000 I want to hit every city I can because I'm like, oh, the jokes work here, they didn't work here as well, let's tweak this.
01:24:24.000 But yeah, it is a trap.
01:24:26.000 If you only play one place, it's always a trap.
01:24:30.000 Yeah, there's people that get captive by their community, and then when they do the road, they're fucked.
01:24:36.000 Because they have local references, and they do New York-style comedy or Boston-style comedy, and then they go on the road and they're doomed.
01:24:43.000 But in that one city, dude.
01:24:44.000 You don't want to follow that guy.
01:24:45.000 Oh my god, you never want to follow an old school Boston headliner in Boston.
01:24:49.000 So true.
01:24:50.000 You're dead.
01:24:52.000 I had a great Boston guy open for me once on New Year's.
01:24:55.000 He's so funny.
01:24:56.000 This guy, Dan Bolger.
01:24:57.000 And like, holy shit, did I have to work?
01:24:58.000 I was like, this dude is putting...
01:25:00.000 He's great.
01:25:01.000 I mean, it was just one of those where I'm like, he's witty, he's killing, and he's low energy, so he's earning it.
01:25:07.000 It's really like a fucking hard follow.
01:25:10.000 Yeah.
01:25:11.000 And it was on New Year's, so I'm like, dude, I wanted to fucking relax.
01:25:14.000 You're making me have to step my shit up.
01:25:16.000 Every time I do New Year's, I say I'm never doing New Year's again.
01:25:19.000 Yeah.
01:25:20.000 It's just too much of a thing.
01:25:22.000 Everybody's just so excited to be at New Year's.
01:25:25.000 It's like they're barely paying attention to the comedy.
01:25:28.000 They can't wait for the 12, 11, 10, 9, yay!
01:25:34.000 They're waiting for that moment where they can fucking make the noisemakers go off and let the balloons loose.
01:25:41.000 Exactly.
01:25:42.000 Any event is down to disappoint.
01:25:45.000 I mean, it's like anything you do on New Year's is disappointing.
01:25:48.000 That's why you may as well just stay in and do what you know will be good.
01:25:50.000 Yeah.
01:25:51.000 Just ignore it.
01:25:52.000 Yeah.
01:25:53.000 It's just a day.
01:25:54.000 It's a stupid fucking tradition we have of deciding.
01:25:58.000 Any holiday is dangerous for comedy.
01:26:01.000 Because Valentine's Day, I'm like, ugh, so I'm going to have to not do breakup material.
01:26:04.000 Ugh.
01:26:05.000 I have to placate these fucking couples.
01:26:08.000 Halloween, I'm like, oh cool, there's a guy in a priest outfit.
01:26:11.000 Let me try to avoid a pedophile joke.
01:26:13.000 Psych, I'm doing all pedophile jokes.
01:26:15.000 I hate the costumes on Halloween, but I also am kind of weirdly excited for them.
01:26:20.000 Well, it's fun because people are being silly.
01:26:24.000 They've dropped a little bit of pretense, at least.
01:26:26.000 At least they've come out with a little bit of fun.
01:26:28.000 Yeah, I kind of hate the expectation of something that isn't the show.
01:26:35.000 Yeah, I know what you're saying.
01:26:36.000 Like, if it's the show and they're like, I want to go see a show I think will be good, great.
01:26:39.000 But if it's like, it's fucking, you know, it's Thanksgiving night.
01:26:44.000 That's a tough one, too.
01:26:45.000 That's like families and stuff.
01:26:47.000 Yeah.
01:26:47.000 Geez, I remember doing Thanksgiving in St. Louis.
01:26:51.000 That's a fucking, sounds like a David Foster Wallace book or something, you know?
01:26:55.000 But I don't know.
01:26:56.000 It was fucking terrible.
01:26:57.000 It was a terrible gig.
01:26:58.000 There's a lot of terrible gigs.
01:27:00.000 What club did you start at?
01:27:01.000 I started at the comic strip in New York City.
01:27:04.000 What year?
01:27:05.000 I started at 18, so that's the first place I went up, is a comic strip.
01:27:12.000 And I did the class there.
01:27:13.000 How old are you now?
01:27:14.000 I just turned 36 yesterday.
01:27:18.000 18 years in?
01:27:20.000 Yeah.
01:27:20.000 That's a good time.
01:27:21.000 I wasn't really in, though, those first couple years.
01:27:23.000 You don't really know what you're doing.
01:27:25.000 When you're 18, you're not really into anything.
01:27:26.000 No.
01:27:27.000 I was like, I get to drink for free here.
01:27:30.000 They're not carding me.
01:27:31.000 They don't know I'm 18. So I was like, I get free alcohol?
01:27:33.000 I'm fucking in.
01:27:34.000 My parents were like, we feel like you're doing this for the wrong reasons.
01:27:37.000 I'm like, you nailed it.
01:27:39.000 100% I'm doing this for the wrong reasons.
01:27:41.000 What did they think were the right reasons?
01:27:42.000 I don't know.
01:27:43.000 They were terrified that I was doing this.
01:27:45.000 And then, you know...
01:27:49.000 The comic strip was great to me, though, at first.
01:27:51.000 And then it got to a point where it was like, you can't keep going up where you started.
01:27:56.000 They'll always look at you as that.
01:27:57.000 Yeah, they always think of you as a beginner.
01:27:59.000 So that was pretty tough, because I was going up there for so long.
01:28:02.000 And the nepotism at that club was pretty painful.
01:28:05.000 I remember doing late night there every night.
01:28:10.000 And we'd be hanging out for three hours to go on, and they would let some dude who had a famous person's last name cut you.
01:28:17.000 And I'm like, dude, they just walked in five minutes ago.
01:28:20.000 And they weren't good.
01:28:21.000 They were at our level, you know, or worse.
01:28:25.000 So then that was a tough part, is every person that would go on before you would walk people, because it was like three hours into the show.
01:28:32.000 So I remember my audition there.
01:28:35.000 You draw numbers for your audition, and I got sixth out of six, and I was like, fuck, there's gonna be no one left.
01:28:43.000 80 people in the crowd remained, and I'm like, please, just don't be that bad that you walk people.
01:28:47.000 And this guy had a fucking nervous breakdown right before me.
01:28:50.000 He was number five.
01:28:51.000 Everyone's still there.
01:28:52.000 This guy is a full-on meltdown.
01:28:54.000 He's like, what am I doing up here?
01:28:56.000 I can't do this.
01:28:57.000 And the crowd's like, what the fuck is happening?
01:28:58.000 So he just starts having a full-on panic attack, and I shit you not, 60 out of the 70 people walked out.
01:29:04.000 And I'm like...
01:29:05.000 I've been waiting for this shot for like a year.
01:29:08.000 God damn it, dude.
01:29:09.000 And I'm like, dude, just there's one table left.
01:29:11.000 Play to that one table.
01:29:12.000 And I went up and they passed me because they were like, the owner at the time, Richie, who just passed away was like, you didn't buckle.
01:29:19.000 So I'll give it to you.
01:29:21.000 And I was like, all right.
01:29:22.000 And then I was at the club for fucking years.
01:29:25.000 They just didn't...
01:29:26.000 They like to haze you, which I kind of look back and I respect.
01:29:30.000 Like, they like to fuck with you a little bit, which is like, eh, maybe a little bit of that's lost in today's comedy, where, like, it does build a little character to a degree.
01:29:39.000 But they would do it to a point where I was like, there's no reason to this.
01:29:43.000 You're just fucking with me at this point, you know?
01:29:45.000 Like, I remember I did the audition, because that was the audition to do, like, the late night there, and then I did the audition to do...
01:29:53.000 The regular show.
01:29:55.000 And they just fucking, they do an audition.
01:29:59.000 I kill.
01:29:59.000 And they were like, yeah, I've seen some of those jokes.
01:30:02.000 I don't want to pass you.
01:30:03.000 And the crowd was like booing.
01:30:04.000 They would do like an American Idol set up.
01:30:06.000 So they would just like trash you.
01:30:08.000 Like they had the one guy who's like, I'm the Simon.
01:30:09.000 He was the booker at the time.
01:30:11.000 And he just trashed me.
01:30:12.000 And the crowd was like, you're an asshole.
01:30:13.000 He killed.
01:30:14.000 And they were like, if you come back next week, and dude, next week?
01:30:18.000 I'm like, alright, new material, alright.
01:30:20.000 So I come back the next week, and I did a new set, and they finally passed me.
01:30:25.000 But it was one of the things where I'm like, man, I fucking, I gotta get out of here.
01:30:29.000 So that's when I started doing Caroline's, and you can't work where you started.
01:30:33.000 No, they don't, I didn't get any respect in Boston until I came back.
01:30:38.000 Isn't that weird?
01:30:39.000 Well, it's normal.
01:30:40.000 They remember when you were fucking terrible.
01:30:42.000 I know.
01:30:43.000 They remember you bombing and being an open-miker and fucking just sucking.
01:30:47.000 Yeah, and then you come back, I don't shine shoes no more.
01:30:49.000 Yeah.
01:30:50.000 Got that little fucking ego now, and you're like, no, I'm fucking, I'm not, I still don't work there, because they would always be mad at me when I would cancel there, and it's like, I'm sorry, man, a comedy seller gives me, like, 12 spots a week, you give me three a month, I gotta prioritize the place that books me,
01:31:07.000 you know?
01:31:08.000 Well, that's how it always is.
01:31:11.000 The places where you start out, they remember.
01:31:14.000 So when you were 18, you started, and when did you get serious?
01:31:20.000 I was pretty serious.
01:31:21.000 I was in college in New York, and I was pretty serious.
01:31:24.000 I went away to Tulane for like a year and a half, but Hurricane Katrina hit.
01:31:28.000 So that hurt my plans a little bit.
01:31:30.000 I remember my parents dropped me off.
01:31:32.000 They're like, it'll be fine.
01:31:33.000 Then I'm like, I think a hurricane's coming, and we have to evacuate immediately.
01:31:38.000 I was there for a while, and I made some good friends there, but I ended up leaving.
01:31:42.000 I was barking in the summers for the clubs and stuff, and I was handing out flyers every few hours a night.
01:31:50.000 I was like, oh man, I love this.
01:31:51.000 I can't go back to New Orleans.
01:31:52.000 Those are the salad days.
01:31:54.000 I loved it, dude.
01:31:55.000 I was such a bad barker, though.
01:31:57.000 My energy is too morose.
01:31:59.000 I'm not convincing anyone to go see a show with this energy.
01:32:01.000 And those are the best when they come in, and then I go on, and they're like, you said it was a good show.
01:32:07.000 Like, you're on the fucking show, you know?
01:32:09.000 And I was like, I have to be like, sorry, but I gotta work on these, you know?
01:32:12.000 And that's when I got serious.
01:32:13.000 When I got really serious, I won a festival in Atlanta called Laughing Skull, and the prize was a year worth of road work.
01:32:20.000 So I was like, I'm almost like, yeah, I was like doing some, yeah, yeah.
01:32:24.000 How do they do that?
01:32:26.000 They followed up with all these clubs that were willing to participate and like the B and C rooms would headline me and the A rooms would feature me and I was working every week.
01:32:34.000 I was selling t-shirts and shit and I was really...
01:32:38.000 How many years in?
01:32:39.000 I was probably 23 or so.
01:32:41.000 So this is when you realize like, okay, I'm 100% all in on comedy.
01:32:45.000 I had enough material, because you had to do different material each round, and I ended up winning, and there was a guy who had a better set than me.
01:32:52.000 I think he should have won, but they chose me.
01:32:55.000 And yeah, it was really working.
01:32:59.000 And that's when I was very organized.
01:33:01.000 I didn't have managers or anything, but I had Google Docs filled with bookers, and I would reach out to all of them myself with subject heading booking, and then I would re-email them every 10 days until I got booked.
01:33:13.000 And...
01:33:15.000 And it was, I loved it.
01:33:16.000 I loved the road early on, although early on it made me a bad comic.
01:33:20.000 How so?
01:33:21.000 Because you need, I was on the road too much, and I was just doing shitholes, and you start playing to those bad, like when you do too many bad crowds, you're like a dog that someone just keeps beating with a fucking newspaper, and you're just like biting everything.
01:33:35.000 So then when you get a good crowd, you just, you bite them.
01:33:38.000 And they're like, what did we do?
01:33:39.000 And I'm like, I don't know, I'm fucking, I'm fucked up now, I'm sorry.
01:33:41.000 So I got really mad.
01:33:44.000 Too early, because I was just always doing bad crowds at these horribly run rooms.
01:33:49.000 And then you start doing good clubs, and you're like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing good clubs.
01:33:53.000 But yeah, early on, I was so fucking used to just people heckling the entire set.
01:33:58.000 So you get good at comebacks, but you're not writing thoughtful jokes when they're just screaming shit out, you know?
01:34:06.000 So, your parents were worried about you doing it because it's just so open-ended?
01:34:11.000 My brother and sister are lawyers.
01:34:12.000 My dad's a lawyer.
01:34:13.000 My mom's an artist, so she understands that stuff, but at the same time, you know, I think, yeah, I remember the night they...
01:34:22.000 My parents are very weird what impresses them.
01:34:24.000 You know, it's like classic New York shit where I do Conan, they'd be like, oh, whatever.
01:34:28.000 But then I would be on like...
01:34:30.000 My dad's like, you were written about in the New York Times.
01:34:32.000 And I'd be like, they said I was bad.
01:34:33.000 He's like, but still the Times, you know?
01:34:35.000 And I'd be like, all right, whatever.
01:34:37.000 And then my mom was terrified, I think, just because she just worries.
01:34:42.000 My mom's a worrier.
01:34:43.000 She's like, you know, she just worries.
01:34:45.000 And I remember the night they were like, oh, we get it now.
01:34:48.000 And it was...
01:34:50.000 I opened for Jim Jeffries.
01:34:52.000 It was called the Best Buy Theater.
01:34:53.000 I think it's a different theater now in New York.
01:34:55.000 But it was a pretty big theater, and it was when Jim was doing that gun material too, so it was such a good special.
01:35:03.000 And my parents were like, this funny guy wanted Sam to open.
01:35:07.000 I think that was the moment where they were like, oh, okay.
01:35:10.000 That's great.
01:35:11.000 So that was really cool.
01:35:12.000 I always give Jim a lot of credit for getting my parents on board.
01:35:19.000 I think my mom was like, he was very shocking, but he's very smart.
01:35:23.000 And I was like, yeah.
01:35:24.000 Wow.
01:35:27.000 Yeah, for a parent to hear your kid wants to be a stand-up comic, I mean, think about the guys you started out with in Open Mic.
01:35:33.000 How many of them are actually doing comedy now?
01:35:35.000 Not a lot.
01:35:36.000 I mean...
01:35:37.000 It's weird.
01:35:40.000 That's the thing, is you start out and you don't realize what it takes, and now I'm like, wow, I didn't realize how hard you had to work at stand-up, but luckily I love it.
01:35:48.000 My ADD is so bad, it's really hard for me to focus at anything except for stand-up.
01:35:54.000 I'm very disciplined and organized with stand-up, but literally everything else, I'm a fucking idiot.
01:35:59.000 Yeah, because you care about it, though.
01:36:02.000 That whole ADD thing, I have a real problem with that.
01:36:05.000 I have a real problem with what it means.
01:36:09.000 First of all, I have a real problem with that people just medicate their kids.
01:36:12.000 Your kid's got ADD, he needs medication.
01:36:14.000 So then you put him on something that takes away this one thing that he has, which is this excess amount of energy.
01:36:20.000 And if they could just find something that they really enjoy, maybe there's a benefit to that.
01:36:25.000 You know, like, people, they think that there's some sort of evolutionary characteristic that saved people early on, is to hyper-focus on specific things.
01:36:36.000 And ADD is kind of like that.
01:36:38.000 Because, like, if you're trying to be a hunter, or you're trying to do, like, all these other things that are going on, I don't care.
01:36:45.000 Even though you're supposed to care.
01:36:47.000 But you should care about this one thing.
01:36:48.000 I need to find food.
01:36:50.000 You know, and that you can lock in on that and have this extraordinary amount of attention to the detriment of your other duties.
01:36:58.000 But that's because they're not as significant to you.
01:37:00.000 Like, what is significant to you is stand-up, this big thing.
01:37:03.000 So you do have, like, I thought the same thing about me when I was a kid.
01:37:07.000 I was like, I cannot pay attention in class.
01:37:09.000 I must be a moron.
01:37:11.000 I'm not interested in things.
01:37:12.000 And then I realized, oh, no, no, no, I'm very interested in some things.
01:37:16.000 But I'm only interested in what I'm interested in.
01:37:18.000 But I'm like, well, now I'm fucked because I'll never have a job because I'm not interested in jobs.
01:37:22.000 Like, what am I going to do?
01:37:23.000 I'm going to be a loser.
01:37:24.000 And until stand-up came along, I really didn't think that there was a thing that I could focus on that could be a living.
01:37:30.000 Right.
01:37:31.000 You know?
01:37:31.000 Like, everything else that I was interested in was just...
01:37:33.000 It didn't matter.
01:37:34.000 It was pointless.
01:37:35.000 But you become almost...
01:37:37.000 Because of that, you become obsessed with the thing you're into.
01:37:39.000 That's a good thing.
01:37:40.000 I was like, oh yeah, maybe I'm not meant to know a shitload about pre-algebra or something, you know?
01:37:45.000 But I will say, those pills, holy shit.
01:37:47.000 I don't abuse them, but if I need a kickstart when I need a new hour, I pop a Concertan or something, and I'm like, boom, off to the races, performance enhanced.
01:37:55.000 What is Concertan?
01:37:56.000 It's like Adderall.
01:37:57.000 Yeah?
01:37:58.000 Like time release.
01:38:00.000 I've never done that.
01:38:01.000 I mean, shit, dude.
01:38:02.000 That's where I'm like, wow, I can...
01:38:04.000 I'm like, oh, this is how I'm supposed to be paying attention to shit, I think.
01:38:07.000 But I don't think that is...
01:38:09.000 I don't think that's normal.
01:38:10.000 Well, I don't abuse it, but sometimes you need a fucking...
01:38:12.000 I try to do a lot of topical jokes, and I'm like, I'm not reading the paper without this shit.
01:38:17.000 You know what I mean?
01:38:18.000 How often do you take it?
01:38:19.000 Not a ton.
01:38:20.000 Like, you know, every other week or something.
01:38:22.000 Only once a week?
01:38:22.000 Yeah, maybe even less.
01:38:24.000 I don't want to ever abuse it, you know?
01:38:27.000 Is it prescribed?
01:38:28.000 Yeah, I have it.
01:38:29.000 They're old.
01:38:30.000 They're probably fucking expired, honestly.
01:38:32.000 Eh, still works.
01:38:35.000 I used to have a doctor who was really cool, and then he moved to the Philippines.
01:38:38.000 I was like, damn it, that was my hookup.
01:38:40.000 He's probably got an 18-year-old wife now.
01:38:44.000 There's a lot of those guys.
01:38:45.000 Yeah, they fucking rule.
01:38:46.000 That's what Art Bell did.
01:38:48.000 His wife died.
01:38:49.000 He went over to the Philippines.
01:38:51.000 Damn.
01:38:51.000 Yeah, that's a normal thing.
01:38:53.000 I know my friend Jay, he was in his 60s and he got some girl pregnant in the Philippines.
01:38:59.000 Damn.
01:38:59.000 Yeah, he had like a family in the Philippines.
01:39:01.000 That sounds like a lot.
01:39:04.000 I get anxiety just hearing that.
01:39:06.000 Yeah, right?
01:39:07.000 You have a child in a third world country that is over there and you send money and you hope they live.
01:39:15.000 Yeah.
01:39:16.000 Yeah.
01:39:16.000 Man.
01:39:17.000 Yeah, be careful who you nut inside.
01:39:20.000 Yeah, that's wise words.
01:39:21.000 Yeah, it should be a fortune cookie.
01:39:23.000 Yeah, that's wise words.
01:39:23.000 Just don't nut in anybody.
01:39:25.000 Or if you do, really know them.
01:39:27.000 Know them?
01:39:28.000 Yeah.
01:39:29.000 That's where the ultra-rich and the ultra-poor intersect, is that they'll both nut in anyone.
01:39:34.000 I think the middle class is careful.
01:39:36.000 It's humans.
01:39:37.000 Yeah.
01:39:38.000 I mean, there's a reason why there's 7.5 billion fucking people.
01:39:41.000 It's funny people.
01:39:42.000 It's fun to nut inside people.
01:39:43.000 I'm so careful about it.
01:39:45.000 What is that you're smoking there?
01:39:47.000 Is that weed?
01:39:49.000 Damn.
01:39:50.000 You're like a man who can- No, no, no.
01:39:52.000 I can't handle weed.
01:39:53.000 I panic.
01:39:56.000 You're amazing because you can do like everything.
01:39:58.000 What do you mean?
01:39:59.000 I mean, you got the gym here, you can have a whiskey, you have your coffee, you have the weed.
01:40:03.000 I mean, you're like a guy who can kind of handle everything.
01:40:06.000 Yeah, but I don't do stimulants.
01:40:08.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
01:40:09.000 I don't think I need them.
01:40:10.000 I don't need anything that gives me confidence.
01:40:12.000 I'm looking for something that destroys my confidence.
01:40:15.000 I'm looking for things that make me nervous.
01:40:17.000 Like, legitimately.
01:40:19.000 I like to get high before I go on stage.
01:40:20.000 I want to feel nervous.
01:40:21.000 Really?
01:40:22.000 Yeah.
01:40:22.000 I could never smoke weed before I do a set.
01:40:24.000 I could have a couple drinks.
01:40:26.000 Couple drinks is good.
01:40:27.000 Three drinks, not so good.
01:40:29.000 Four drinks, not so good.
01:40:30.000 No.
01:40:31.000 After the show.
01:40:32.000 Yeah, after the show.
01:40:33.000 But yeah, a drink or so before a show, but I like a little bit of weed.
01:40:36.000 Late show, I like a drink, because I'm like, let me get a little on their level.
01:40:39.000 They're fucked up.
01:40:40.000 They're fucked up.
01:40:41.000 I like that.
01:40:42.000 Yeah, you don't want to be a sober guy in front of a room full of drunks and just have disdain.
01:40:46.000 You feel like a substitute teacher.
01:40:48.000 I'm like, when did I become the fucking Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds all of a sudden on this late show?
01:40:52.000 This stinks.
01:40:53.000 You want to be like the fun substitute teacher.
01:40:55.000 You don't want to be the, you know, like, come on, you know?
01:40:58.000 Yeah, the amphetamines thing scares the shit out of me.
01:41:01.000 Yeah.
01:41:01.000 Because it seems like people, they can't stop doing that.
01:41:04.000 Once they start doing that stuff, they want to do it all the time.
01:41:07.000 I just know way too many people that have had a problem with Adderall.
01:41:09.000 Yeah, I would never get addicted to that stuff.
01:41:12.000 I think also the coke stuff.
01:41:15.000 I never have done coke, which shocks people.
01:41:17.000 Me neither.
01:41:18.000 But now you do coke, you're like, man, that's some Russian roulette you're playing with.
01:41:22.000 With fentanyl?
01:41:24.000 You're playing a dangerous game.
01:41:26.000 Yep.
01:41:27.000 Yeah.
01:41:27.000 How many people die from that shit?
01:41:29.000 100,000 every year.
01:41:30.000 It's the number one cause of death between people 18 to 49 years old right now.
01:41:34.000 That's fucking terrible.
01:41:35.000 It's fucking wild.
01:41:36.000 And it's up, way up, since the pill manufacturers started selling opiates and lying, the pharmaceutical companies lying to people about whether or not they're addictive.
01:41:45.000 And then people got addicted and then, you know, Florida had this thing they used to call the OxyContin Express.
01:41:52.000 Vanguard did this show with Mariana Van Zeller, who's this lady who's really wild.
01:41:57.000 She does this undercover, boots-on-the-ground investigative journalism where she goes to cocaine manufacturers in Colombia and she's with them in the jungle and packs out with them.
01:42:08.000 To see how they prepare it?
01:42:10.000 To see how they do it all, yeah.
01:42:12.000 The show's called Trafficked.
01:42:14.000 It's a wild fucking show.
01:42:15.000 And she started, she works with her husband, who films her too.
01:42:19.000 And she went down to Florida.
01:42:23.000 And Florida, what they were doing is they'd have these pain pill mills.
01:42:26.000 And what it is, is you go to a doctor and the doctor's in a pain management center.
01:42:31.000 So the doctor says, you need pain pills.
01:42:33.000 And you go right next door to the pharmacy, which only sells pain pills.
01:42:37.000 And they don't have a database.
01:42:39.000 So you would go to this pain management center and say, my back is killing me.
01:42:42.000 And they go, oh, wow, Sam, I got a cure for you.
01:42:45.000 And they give it to you, go next door.
01:42:46.000 They give you a fucking big fat bottle of pills.
01:42:49.000 And then you go a mile away to another pain management center.
01:42:53.000 And you say, my back hurts.
01:42:54.000 And they go, oh, Sam, we got something for you.
01:42:56.000 And you go right next to them.
01:42:57.000 And they had no fucking regulation on it.
01:42:59.000 And so people were stockpiling.
01:43:01.000 They would go to all these different places and then they'd sell it.
01:43:04.000 And then they'd put it in bags and drive it up through Kentucky.
01:43:08.000 Damn.
01:43:09.000 They'd drive it out of Florida and they'd call it the OxyContin Express.
01:43:12.000 And they since have put some sort of regulation in place because, I mean, that was a blight on their state and that documentary was pretty powerful and a lot of people were aware of it and I think they changed some of the regulations.
01:43:23.000 But at one point in time, Florida had no database and it was the number one.
01:43:27.000 There was more pills prescribed in Florida per year than the entire country.
01:43:32.000 Damn.
01:43:33.000 Yeah.
01:43:34.000 Florida, man.
01:43:34.000 Florida.
01:43:35.000 They really are a fucking...
01:43:36.000 That's a hell of a state.
01:43:38.000 It really is the cock of the country.
01:43:40.000 It really...
01:43:40.000 You know, it's also interesting...
01:43:42.000 Doctors in Florida prescribe 10 times more oxycodone pills than every other state in the country combined.
01:43:49.000 Wow.
01:43:50.000 Ten times more.
01:43:51.000 Do you ever see that documentary?
01:43:53.000 People come from all over the southeast to visit the state's pain clinics.
01:43:55.000 Is that still going on?
01:43:56.000 This is from 2011. Jesus.
01:43:58.000 So this was like right around the time where that documentary came out.
01:44:01.000 Yeah, you know that doc, The Pharmacist?
01:44:03.000 No.
01:44:04.000 It was on Netflix.
01:44:05.000 It was about the guy, his son was like hooked on that shit and his son got killed in the Ninth Ward in New Orleans.
01:44:13.000 It's pretty well done.
01:44:14.000 It's a well done Netflix doc.
01:44:17.000 Yeah, that's a scary thing, man.
01:44:19.000 It's also scary that that's legal.
01:44:22.000 Yeah.
01:44:22.000 Because it's like, what is the solution?
01:44:25.000 You know, the solution used to be the war on drugs, legalize everything.
01:44:28.000 Yeah.
01:44:28.000 Okay, but what about that?
01:44:29.000 I know.
01:44:30.000 Because that's legal.
01:44:32.000 Like, these people are getting it legally, and it's ruining everyone's lives.
01:44:35.000 And kids are doing it, and kids don't know how to fucking handle this shit yet.
01:44:37.000 Adults don't, so why would kids?
01:44:39.000 I know a guy, he had his shit together, he's a construction worker, good guy.
01:44:43.000 Family, whole deal.
01:44:45.000 Hurts his back.
01:44:46.000 Yeah.
01:44:46.000 They get him on pain pills.
01:44:47.000 And now he's fucked.
01:44:49.000 He's fucked.
01:44:49.000 He's still fucked.
01:44:50.000 All these years later.
01:44:51.000 It's two decades later.
01:44:52.000 His life's a mess.
01:44:53.000 He can't keep a job.
01:44:55.000 He's always, like, sleeping on people's couches.
01:44:57.000 And he's always, like, looking to do drugs.
01:44:59.000 That's all he wants to do.
01:45:00.000 And if you ask him about it, you know, it's like, you know, I'm happier when I do them.
01:45:04.000 Like, my life sucks.
01:45:05.000 And a lot of people feel that way.
01:45:07.000 Like, their life sucks.
01:45:08.000 It's not...
01:45:09.000 There's nothing to look forward to.
01:45:10.000 But if they get that high in them, they're like...
01:45:17.000 Everything's amazing.
01:45:18.000 And they just live for everything's amazing.
01:45:20.000 And then when you come down off of that, then your suck is even suckier.
01:45:24.000 Because now you feel like shit, and you're jonesing.
01:45:27.000 You're sick.
01:45:27.000 You need to get more heroin in you.
01:45:30.000 And then you have to figure out a way to make money, and you have to figure out a way to get it.
01:45:34.000 And then once you get it, you can't stop getting it.
01:45:36.000 And then someone puts you in rehab, and you're in rehab for a few months.
01:45:38.000 Like, okay, I'm going to get my life together.
01:45:40.000 But your life sucks.
01:45:41.000 And you know what doesn't suck?
01:45:43.000 Heroin.
01:45:44.000 Heroin doesn't suck.
01:45:45.000 And so you just try it again and, ah, life's amazing.
01:45:51.000 And you just keep going to that.
01:45:53.000 And that's your new source of happiness in life.
01:45:55.000 And you never develop the skills to figure out how to not do that and the skills to figure out how to make regular moments in life, which are actually even better than being on heroin.
01:46:05.000 To be connected is everything.
01:46:07.000 I mean, that's really...
01:46:08.000 I mean, I love alcohol.
01:46:10.000 I love drinking.
01:46:11.000 But, like, those moments where...
01:46:12.000 Sometimes I'll talk to my therapist and he'll be like, well, why do you have to drink on a date?
01:46:16.000 And I was like, because it loosens the ice.
01:46:18.000 You know, it breaks the ice easier.
01:46:20.000 And he goes, try being connected to a person.
01:46:22.000 You don't need that shit.
01:46:23.000 And I'm like, I could try that.
01:46:25.000 So, like, those moments where you are connected are...
01:46:29.000 There are human moments.
01:46:30.000 You can work on that shit.
01:46:31.000 I think all drugs are tools.
01:46:33.000 And the way I look at marijuana is the same way I look at alcohol.
01:46:37.000 It's the same way I look at everything.
01:46:38.000 It's the same way I look at tools.
01:46:39.000 Like, I had a joke about it in my act.
01:46:41.000 If you had a hammer, you can use that hammer and you could build a house.
01:46:45.000 Or you could hit yourself in the dick if you're fucking crazy.
01:46:49.000 So it's up to you.
01:46:50.000 What are you going to do with the tool?
01:46:51.000 If you're telling me that I can't have a glass or two of whiskey and have a lot of laughs at my friends and not ruin my life, well, you're incorrect because I've done that a lot.
01:47:01.000 So you're wrong.
01:47:03.000 It's not true.
01:47:03.000 But if you're telling me that some people don't have self-control and they have one or two drinks and then they get gerbilized and they're gone.
01:47:10.000 If you're seeing people with their eyes look like shark eyes, there's no one there.
01:47:14.000 I spend time downtown here.
01:47:15.000 There's no one there.
01:47:16.000 It's fucking a lot.
01:47:16.000 The eyeballs are gone, and then they're just out, and they're blacked out drunk.
01:47:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:47:21.000 That's some people.
01:47:22.000 Some people get that.
01:47:23.000 I'm fortunate that I don't have that in my family, it's not my genes, and that I have discipline.
01:47:28.000 But I don't buy the argument that life is better without drugs.
01:47:32.000 How would we even know?
01:47:33.000 Most people are doing drugs.
01:47:35.000 Someone's smoking cigarettes that'll talk to you about don't do this.
01:47:38.000 Someone's drinking coffee every day.
01:47:40.000 They can't function without their coffee, but they're telling you you shouldn't drink.
01:47:44.000 Someone's smoking pot, but they think it's wrong to do other things.
01:47:47.000 Like, come on.
01:47:48.000 Oh, and I see, like, I'll see TikTok videos where guys are like, coffee is poison, you're taking, like, natural, like, it's not natural energy, and I'm like, you look like you got problems, too, though.
01:47:57.000 Like, I'll stick, I like coffee, I'm gonna stick with coffee.
01:48:00.000 Yeah, coffee's not bad.
01:48:02.000 What's bad is not taking care of your body.
01:48:04.000 Now, if you drink so much coffee that you're ruining your body, yeah, I'd say take some time off and try to figure out what the fuck's going on there.
01:48:09.000 How much is too much?
01:48:10.000 I don't know.
01:48:11.000 How much do you drink?
01:48:12.000 I don't drink that much.
01:48:14.000 I drink a couple glasses during a podcast.
01:48:17.000 I'll have like two, maybe one in the morning.
01:48:18.000 That's probably it.
01:48:20.000 But Dave Foley, who was on news radio with me, drank so much coffee that he stopped putting cream in it because he realized he was drinking a quart of cream a day.
01:48:29.000 So like a quart of half and half.
01:48:31.000 This fucking dude's poor.
01:48:32.000 That's how much cream.
01:48:33.000 Because he was just drinking coffee all day long.
01:48:35.000 He would drink pots and pots of coffee.
01:48:37.000 Damn.
01:48:38.000 Yeah.
01:48:39.000 You've had so many careers.
01:48:40.000 That's crazy, right?
01:48:41.000 It's pretty wild.
01:48:42.000 You've been around a long time.
01:48:43.000 Yeah, it's really strange.
01:48:44.000 It's strange for me because it's me.
01:48:46.000 It's hard to believe.
01:48:47.000 Yeah.
01:48:48.000 Is it weird to see episodes?
01:48:50.000 I don't watch them.
01:48:51.000 My kids watch them.
01:48:51.000 It holds up.
01:48:52.000 It's a good show.
01:48:53.000 It's interesting, though.
01:48:54.000 It's weird to see a 27-year-old me on television going, Jesus Christ.
01:48:58.000 But it's cool.
01:48:59.000 It's weird.
01:49:00.000 It's cool.
01:49:01.000 It's just weird because your past is always weird, right?
01:49:06.000 You're thinking about, oh, yeah, I did that.
01:49:08.000 But to see it on video is even stranger because it feels like...
01:49:11.000 Even if I say I was on a sitcom, it sounds like a lie.
01:49:14.000 It was so long ago, it sounds like a lie.
01:49:16.000 Well, that's because there's so few left, too.
01:49:18.000 Well, it's also because it's like my life is so different than that.
01:49:21.000 It's like trying to relate to that time of my life is like, hmm...
01:49:26.000 The big one for me is martial arts.
01:49:28.000 When I talk about when I used to fight, that makes me feel like I'm lying.
01:49:31.000 Why?
01:49:32.000 It just feels like a lie.
01:49:33.000 If I didn't have video of me fighting and if I didn't know that I could still go do something, I could still go do it.
01:49:40.000 I know how to do it still.
01:49:41.000 I'll look at a heavy bag sometimes and my brain is like, what are you doing here?
01:49:46.000 Do you know what you're doing?
01:49:47.000 And then I just start doing it.
01:49:48.000 I'm like, oh yeah, I know how to do this.
01:49:50.000 It's weird.
01:49:52.000 It's such a part of my life, but it was so long ago that it doesn't seem real.
01:49:56.000 I think about old sets and how I used to record them on VHS tapes.
01:50:01.000 Oh yeah.
01:50:01.000 That's so crazy that you would mail a VHS to a club.
01:50:04.000 Oh yeah.
01:50:05.000 Now it's a link.
01:50:06.000 Yeah.
01:50:07.000 Life has become simpler.
01:50:08.000 With a password.
01:50:09.000 Yeah.
01:50:09.000 I don't want anybody stealing my fucking awesomeness.
01:50:12.000 Yeah.
01:50:13.000 The past is a strange thing.
01:50:16.000 We're talking about these old clubs that you worked at and old sets that you worked at.
01:50:20.000 We have these ideas in our mind, these building blocks of character and life experiences.
01:50:27.000 And you hope to be and what you did hope to be and what you've become.
01:50:32.000 And you're like, oh, hopefully I don't turn into this.
01:50:34.000 Did you have aspirations?
01:50:35.000 Like when you first started doing stand-up and first started getting serious, did you say, I want to be on Netflix or I want to be on HBO? I want to be a world-renowned headliner.
01:50:44.000 Well, Netflix wasn't a thing at the time, but yeah, at the time I was like, yeah, I remember, I mean, the last special I did, The one that really helped me, the one, I got this, I self-produced, that is like 11 million views on YouTube right now, and that was one that everyone passed on.
01:50:57.000 So that was a pretty big thing for me that it succeeded online and really helped ticket sales on the road, because that's why I did this.
01:51:05.000 I was like, I've been doing the road a long time.
01:51:07.000 I want people to come out and pay to see me.
01:51:10.000 I think it's better for ticket sales.
01:51:13.000 I'm on the sinking ship here.
01:51:15.000 I feel like I just showed up to the Titanic as it hit the iceberg and I'm like, I'll take a lifeboat, sure, why not?
01:51:23.000 I don't think Netflix is, I'm not equating that with doing an HBO special or something.
01:51:28.000 Netflix is way better.
01:51:29.000 Of course.
01:51:30.000 But it also gets online too now.
01:51:33.000 One of the good things about comedy is if you're a fan of comedy, you don't have that much to choose from.
01:51:40.000 Right.
01:51:40.000 If you like hip-hop, do you know how many hip-hop artists there are?
01:51:43.000 Try keeping track.
01:51:44.000 Sure.
01:51:44.000 There's so many of them.
01:51:45.000 There's so many of them.
01:51:46.000 The barrier to entry is not as difficult.
01:51:50.000 There's a lot involved in becoming a comic that people want to go see at a club.
01:51:55.000 Yeah.
01:51:56.000 And so once that happens, then you get locked into the group of people who love to go see live stand-up.
01:52:01.000 They know about you.
01:52:02.000 If they know about Tim Dillon, they know about Mark Norman, they know about you.
01:52:06.000 And that's the beautiful thing about putting out a special today.
01:52:09.000 It's like you're already in this network, like an organic network of comics.
01:52:14.000 So it's like what it used to be is you were just you were hoping and praying that someone would like shine a light and that light would be a Carson set, you know, and finally I get my shot.
01:52:25.000 This is my shot.
01:52:26.000 But now you get your shot all the time.
01:52:28.000 Like every time you put up an Instagram thing and it gets shared by a million people, that's a shot.
01:52:34.000 You're getting your shot with those people.
01:52:35.000 And then they find out, oh, Sam's coming to Chicago.
01:52:38.000 Let's go see him.
01:52:39.000 That's the beautiful thing about today.
01:52:41.000 And it's unprecedented.
01:52:43.000 There's never been a time like this.
01:52:44.000 It used to be you had to do these fucking morning radio shows and nobody gave a shit.
01:52:49.000 And you had to do interviews with newspapers.
01:52:51.000 They would take your words out of context.
01:52:53.000 And you had to do fucking morning TV, which was hot death.
01:52:57.000 Yeah, they're not fun.
01:52:58.000 I'd always try to run them off the rails because I was like, that's the only way anyone's going to watch it.
01:53:02.000 I saw you do that.
01:53:03.000 You said an uncle molested you and it made you funny.
01:53:06.000 Which, by the way, people were like, you're so brave.
01:53:08.000 I'm like, well, it's not true.
01:53:09.000 I was just trying to upset them.
01:53:11.000 They asked me, have you always been funny?
01:53:13.000 And I said, no, but when I was young, an uncle touched me and he was funny.
01:53:20.000 So it was like a Spider-Man origin story.
01:53:22.000 And they were just like, I did it to derail the interview because I'm like, this is the only way anyone's ever going to see this.
01:53:28.000 And it did sell tickets.
01:53:31.000 I'll give credit to the improv book.
01:53:33.000 At the time, they were like, that was funny.
01:53:35.000 They weren't mad at me, although they don't have comics on that show anymore.
01:53:38.000 So if you play Pittsburgh, you're welcome.
01:53:40.000 Yeah, you're welcome.
01:53:41.000 You don't have to wake up early anymore.
01:53:43.000 It's not going to help.
01:53:44.000 I mean, you might get one or two people come to see you for that.
01:53:47.000 And it's not worth me putting on a worse show because I got two hours of sleep.
01:53:51.000 Exactly.
01:53:51.000 That's the problem with morning radio.
01:53:52.000 It's like the worst time for a comic to be awake at 6 a.m.
01:53:56.000 And they always act like we're being divas.
01:53:58.000 I'm like, dude, we did a show at night.
01:54:00.000 That's our 9 to 5. That means I got off stage at like, what, 10?
01:54:04.000 Six hours ago, you were just leaving the club.
01:54:07.000 It's pretty tough.
01:54:08.000 And it's not like you go right to sleep.
01:54:09.000 You're hopped up on energy.
01:54:10.000 So that's a tough thing.
01:54:11.000 But, you know, it's a different time.
01:54:15.000 You said about Carson.
01:54:16.000 It's like, yeah, there's no one thing.
01:54:18.000 That's why, like, you do a late night set now.
01:54:21.000 It's kind of like, are you nervous?
01:54:22.000 No.
01:54:23.000 Because if I bomb, it doesn't really matter.
01:54:25.000 And if I kill, it's a fun little set to have out there.
01:54:27.000 Yeah.
01:54:27.000 And I know they don't move the needle anymore, but I'm old school.
01:54:31.000 I love late night sets.
01:54:32.000 I got into this because of Dangerfield and shit.
01:54:34.000 And those old school sets where he's just being...
01:54:37.000 Dude, there's no one funnier than Rodney Dangerfield.
01:54:41.000 He's the fucking man.
01:54:42.000 You ever see Meet Wally Sparks?
01:54:44.000 I think of that scene when he walks up to the...
01:54:46.000 He's the loud guy disrupting the high society party.
01:54:50.000 And he walks in and he goes...
01:54:52.000 There's a couple making out.
01:54:54.000 He goes, you two should get a room.
01:54:56.000 And then he walks past the fat couple making out.
01:54:58.000 You two should get a warehouse.
01:55:01.000 That's fucking gold.
01:55:02.000 Like, it's the simplest...
01:55:04.000 Rodney was the funniest dude.
01:55:06.000 He's got a great origin story, too.
01:55:08.000 You know the story?
01:55:09.000 Jacob Cohn, yeah.
01:55:10.000 Yeah, well, you know the story about him quitting and selling aluminum cider?
01:55:13.000 Yeah.
01:55:13.000 And then he popped at, like, 50 or something.
01:55:15.000 Yes.
01:55:16.000 When you, like, back to school and watch those, he's in his 50s.
01:55:19.000 Back to School is probably my favorite comedy.
01:55:22.000 Phenomenal movie.
01:55:22.000 That's the best.
01:55:23.000 The whole scene with his wife leaving.
01:55:26.000 You're impossible.
01:55:27.000 Oh, yeah?
01:55:27.000 And you're easy.
01:55:28.000 You know, like, it's...
01:55:29.000 That's simple comedy.
01:55:33.000 When they're looking at the Klimt painting, he goes, your wife was just showing us your Klimt.
01:55:39.000 You too?
01:55:39.000 It's like, that's perfect.
01:55:41.000 My manager was a manager of Bob Nelson, who was on one of the earlier- I remember.
01:55:47.000 Yeah.
01:55:48.000 And he got to hang out with Rodney a lot.
01:55:50.000 And he said Rodney would go to watch comedy.
01:55:54.000 He still loved comedy and really wanted to help comedians.
01:55:58.000 The Dangerfield specials were the best specials for a comic.
01:56:01.000 The best.
01:56:02.000 Because you got Rodney's seal of approval.
01:56:03.000 And then you're also sharing the stage with Bill Hicks, Dom Herrera, Dice Clay, Lenny Clark.
01:56:10.000 Robert Schimmel.
01:56:10.000 Robert Schimmel.
01:56:11.000 Yeah, I mean, it was...
01:56:12.000 Seinfeld.
01:56:13.000 Seinfeld.
01:56:13.000 Kinnison.
01:56:14.000 Kinnison, that's right.
01:56:14.000 Heavyweights.
01:56:15.000 Yeah, Carol Leafer set on there is so good.
01:56:17.000 Carol Leafer.
01:56:17.000 So many great comics.
01:56:18.000 So many people got launched from the Dangerfield specials.
01:56:20.000 Dude, I remember those specials because I watched them so much.
01:56:23.000 The Hicks set was legendary, of course.
01:56:25.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:25.000 But I remember Robert Schimmel opened...
01:56:28.000 This is his opening joke.
01:56:29.000 He goes, I saw a guy get arrested for animal necrophilia.
01:56:32.000 How do you plead for that?
01:56:33.000 Your Honor, I thought the cat was alive while I was fucking it.
01:56:36.000 That's your opener.
01:56:37.000 What a fucking balls opener.
01:56:40.000 Like, whoa.
01:56:41.000 I love him.
01:56:41.000 He's a guy, too.
01:56:42.000 He didn't start stand-up until he was 36. And he was great.
01:56:45.000 He was amazing.
01:56:45.000 He was like a high-art dirty comic.
01:56:49.000 I even hate saying dirty, but it was like the best dirty jokes you've ever...
01:56:53.000 They were like supremely well-crafted dick jokes.
01:56:56.000 Oh man, he had some jokes that I was like, this is like brilliant.
01:57:00.000 He had a joke about having a heart attack and his wife's in the car with him and she goes, please don't die.
01:57:05.000 And he goes, don't say that I'm scared it's gonna have the same effect as don't cum.
01:57:10.000 That's a fucking insane joke.
01:57:12.000 Something that bad happened to you, and you turned it into, like, damn.
01:57:16.000 No, I was a big Robert Schimmel fan.
01:57:18.000 He was a great guy, too.
01:57:19.000 I never met him.
01:57:20.000 I was such a big fan.
01:57:22.000 Yeah, I met him a bunch.
01:57:23.000 He was a great guy.
01:57:25.000 Yeah.
01:57:25.000 I remember he'd gotten sick, and I ran into him.
01:57:29.000 He was doing better.
01:57:30.000 I ran into him in the commons in Calabasas.
01:57:33.000 It was like this movie theater area.
01:57:35.000 He was just so warm and so friendly.
01:57:38.000 It was so nice.
01:57:39.000 You know, sometimes you run into a comic and you don't expect to see him, and it's like, dude, what's up?
01:57:44.000 It's like when we see one of us out there.
01:57:47.000 In the wild.
01:57:47.000 In the wild, you know?
01:57:49.000 Doing normal shit, like at Barnes& Noble.
01:57:51.000 Yeah.
01:57:52.000 And it's fun.
01:57:52.000 And that's my last memory of him.
01:57:55.000 Damn.
01:57:56.000 He died in that car accident.
01:57:57.000 Damn.
01:57:58.000 Too many comics have died.
01:57:59.000 It's really a bummer, man.
01:58:01.000 Did you ever get a chance to see Jenny live?
01:58:03.000 Richard Jennings, no, but I was a fan of his specials.
01:58:06.000 Dude, you gotta see him live.
01:58:07.000 Seeing him live was magic.
01:58:09.000 That motherfucker.
01:58:11.000 So underrated, I think.
01:58:13.000 Super underrated.
01:58:13.000 I blow his horn as often as I can, but when I was a kid, I'd been doing comedy maybe three years, I think, and I first came out to Long Island, and I was at Eastside Comedy Club, and the guys who were there, Rich and Jenny had been there all weekend, and they were all despondent.
01:58:29.000 They were like, dude, he did four different hours.
01:58:32.000 I hate hearing that when I show up to a club.
01:58:34.000 Two different hours Friday night, two different hours Saturday night.
01:58:36.000 They said he never repeated a joke, and he fucking murdered every show.
01:58:40.000 I hate hearing that.
01:58:40.000 But they also said he was miserable.
01:58:42.000 Wow.
01:58:43.000 He was miserable.
01:58:44.000 He hated it.
01:58:45.000 He hated it, and he wished he was a movie star.
01:58:47.000 It's like a Billy Joel song.
01:58:50.000 Yeah.
01:58:51.000 I mean, that's the tough thing, is that when you're not...
01:58:53.000 You can't get your happiness from this.
01:58:57.000 You need other...
01:58:58.000 I mean, look, I get it.
01:58:59.000 You get fulfillment from your work, and we're very fortunate to have this, and you can get some from this.
01:59:04.000 But when you get all your happiness from this, and you're like, I should be bigger...
01:59:08.000 That's poison, man.
01:59:09.000 He just wanted to be a different thing.
01:59:11.000 Like back then, the goal was to have a sitcom or to have a movie.
01:59:17.000 Movie career was number one.
01:59:18.000 If you could be Jim Carrey, that's number one.
01:59:20.000 If you couldn't be that, you wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld.
01:59:22.000 And that's what everybody wanted to do.
01:59:24.000 And that was the golden ring that everybody went towards.
01:59:27.000 And so when we were club comics and we were coming up, Jenny was doing the clubs.
01:59:31.000 So you had this guy that was like one of the best comics ever.
01:59:35.000 Yeah.
01:59:35.000 And hated the fact that he had to, like, work in Houston.
01:59:39.000 And he's doing, like, the Laugh Stop.
01:59:41.000 Yeah, well, he was in The Mask with Jim Carrey.
01:59:43.000 Yes!
01:59:44.000 And he's grading it.
01:59:45.000 That's what he wanted.
01:59:46.000 I guess that's what he wanted.
01:59:47.000 But it's not really.
01:59:48.000 What you want is it to be better.
01:59:52.000 You want to not feel this thing, this constant state of need, right?
01:59:57.000 This constant desire to have adulation and attention and to...
02:00:00.000 To be a constant confirmation that you're worthy, that you're worthwhile.
02:00:05.000 And you feel like, if I just get this movie career, that'll be it.
02:00:08.000 Well, that's outside your control, that stuff.
02:00:10.000 If you can keep it to at least inside your control, like, I need a new act.
02:00:14.000 Like, at least I can work on that.
02:00:16.000 I can't work on a fucking casting guy being like, you're the guy.
02:00:20.000 That's not in your hands.
02:00:22.000 And it fucks with your head.
02:00:23.000 Yeah, I mean, him killing himself was tragic.
02:00:26.000 I didn't know him, obviously, but Attell used to open for him.
02:00:30.000 So he spoke so highly of him, always.
02:00:33.000 I mean, I remember watching his HBO specials, like...
02:00:36.000 Dude, you got HBO specials and you're miserable?
02:00:38.000 He didn't want to be a road comic.
02:00:41.000 Sure.
02:00:42.000 He wanted to be in Los Angeles, be the movie star with the big house, and he'd show up at the red carpet and everybody'd cheers.
02:00:48.000 Yeah.
02:00:49.000 But it's not even that.
02:00:51.000 It's like whatever he...
02:00:53.000 I think that's part of the problem is like think about how great he was.
02:00:57.000 Like do you ever get that great if you're happy?
02:01:00.000 Like do you ever get that or do you have to have this fucking bottomless pit that you're always trying to fill up with laughter and killer bits so people like you for that brief moment.
02:01:09.000 So in that brief moment when you're on stage, that moment when you kill is the only thing that feels good.
02:01:14.000 It's also such a comic moment to crush in a room and then you walk off and you're like fuck my Literally, he probably was getting standing ovations and he goes to the green room like, fucking kill me.
02:01:25.000 And we were all like, god damn, he's just doing something.
02:01:29.000 He had a whole bit that he did about buying a Corvette.
02:01:32.000 If that's a premise that people don't want to hear, like, you're telling me about your Corvette that you're buying?
02:01:38.000 Like, ew.
02:01:39.000 And it murdered.
02:01:41.000 I remember thinking, this motherfucker can extract comedy from anything.
02:01:45.000 I was at the Comedy Works in Montreal, that little room.
02:01:48.000 You ever go to that little room?
02:01:49.000 I'd done it once, yeah.
02:01:51.000 It's a tiny room upstairs, seats like a hundred people.
02:01:53.000 Love Montreal.
02:01:53.000 It's a fucking great room.
02:01:54.000 Don't love comedy in Montreal, but I love the city.
02:01:56.000 I love that town.
02:01:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:01:57.000 I mean, that club.
02:01:58.000 I used to go back and do that club, even after I had done television.
02:02:03.000 I'd go back and do that club in Montreal and lose money.
02:02:05.000 Just to get a good Montreal bagel.
02:02:07.000 Just to fucking hang out at that place.
02:02:09.000 This guy Jimbo used to run it, was the best.
02:02:11.000 Such a nice guy.
02:02:12.000 Everybody loved him.
02:02:13.000 We just had fun there.
02:02:14.000 It was just a fun little small place.
02:02:17.000 The good clubs are important.
02:02:18.000 I saw Jenny go up and do that Corvette bit there, and I was like, this is the craziest show.
02:02:22.000 How is he getting a premise out of buying a Corvette?
02:02:26.000 Like a guy trying to up-sale him on various aspects of the car and under-coating and all this shit.
02:02:32.000 But it was so good.
02:02:34.000 It was just...
02:02:35.000 That guy could just...
02:02:36.000 He was so fucking prolific.
02:02:38.000 He always had new material.
02:02:39.000 He always had better shit.
02:02:41.000 Yeah, and it's interesting.
02:02:43.000 That kept him going, but when you want to be a movie star, I'm like, dude, there's like five of those guys.
02:02:48.000 Yeah, but he wanted to be...
02:02:50.000 They want to not feel bad, and they think that that's the thing that's going to make them not feel bad.
02:02:58.000 Life is a fantastic, weird, magical experience.
02:03:04.000 Yeah.
02:03:04.000 But it's hard to keep that in perspective because everybody wants their life to be this thing that's quantifiable.
02:03:10.000 Like, you could show the world, look what I did.
02:03:13.000 Which is really kind of crazy because it's temporary.
02:03:15.000 Like, it's not like you get to a spot and then it lasts forever.
02:03:20.000 Like, it doesn't last forever for anybody.
02:03:23.000 There's no checklist.
02:03:24.000 There's nothing that you're going to hit that's going to quench that thirst.
02:03:28.000 When you're on your deathbed, it doesn't matter if you have a billion dollars in your bank.
02:03:31.000 You're not going to feel better.
02:03:32.000 You're gonna be like, oh my god, I'm about to go into blackness.
02:03:35.000 I'm about to go into the next dimension.
02:03:38.000 I'm about to escape the light of life and go into the great beyond.
02:03:42.000 Yeah.
02:03:43.000 And maybe nothing.
02:03:44.000 Maybe this is just sleep.
02:03:46.000 Yeah.
02:03:46.000 Maybe it's just like, close my eyes and that's a wrap.
02:03:48.000 But sleep's not bad.
02:03:49.000 Everybody loves to go to sleep and everyone's afraid to die.
02:03:52.000 Yeah, well, it's permanent sleep.
02:03:53.000 Yeah, but that's what's weird.
02:03:55.000 It's like, when you go to sleep, you know, the comfort of the fact that you're going to get up in eight hours is what keeps you going?
02:04:01.000 Is that really what it is?
02:04:02.000 That's why you look forward to it?
02:04:03.000 I hate going to sleep.
02:04:04.000 I hate the moment where I have to go to sleep.
02:04:06.000 It's horrible for me.
02:04:07.000 I hate it.
02:04:09.000 It's weird for me because everybody in my house goes to bed early because I have kids and I have a wife and she goes to bed early and I write all my best stuff at night.
02:04:16.000 So like while they're asleep, sometimes I'm high as Jesus on the space shuttle and I'm wandering around the house.
02:04:24.000 To like 2, 3 in the morning.
02:04:26.000 And I feel guilty.
02:04:27.000 I feel guilty.
02:04:28.000 Why?
02:04:28.000 Because everyone's asleep.
02:04:29.000 And I'm high as fuck watching movies at 3 o'clock in the morning in my house.
02:04:32.000 What movies are you watching?
02:04:34.000 Whatever's on.
02:04:35.000 Whatever I'm interested in.
02:04:35.000 I watch bad movies.
02:04:36.000 I watch good movies.
02:04:37.000 I love watching a bad movie.
02:04:38.000 I like bad horror movies.
02:04:40.000 Really?
02:04:40.000 Like a bad werewolf movie.
02:04:42.000 What?
02:04:44.000 I was watching Werewolf Hunter the other night.
02:04:46.000 It's so dumb.
02:04:47.000 Yeah.
02:04:48.000 It's like with a bunch of people, like semi-famous people from like the 90s that are now doing these awful B-grade horror movies.
02:04:56.000 Yeah.
02:04:57.000 You know there's those actors that were like kind of character actors, like maybe they had a pretty good co-starring role in one movie a long time ago, but it never really panned out.
02:05:04.000 Yeah.
02:05:05.000 But they'll do these fucking horrible horror movies.
02:05:07.000 Gotta make a book, man.
02:05:09.000 That's a tough...
02:05:09.000 I always feel for actors because it's like, you gotta wait for someone to be like, you're in.
02:05:14.000 Whereas we get to be like, I'm working this weekend, I'm working this weekend, I'm working this weekend, I'll do a podcast.
02:05:20.000 It is tough to be...
02:05:22.000 Same with musicians.
02:05:23.000 It's tough to wait for someone to kind of give you the green light.
02:05:25.000 But musicians at least can tour and they can go to clubs and they have a network like comics do where musicians work for each other and they open for each other and they work together on the road.
02:05:36.000 That all makes sense to me.
02:05:38.000 But the actor thing is the crazy one because someone has to choose you.
02:05:42.000 You could be the best actor ever, but they don't like you at the audition and you never get the part.
02:05:47.000 And then you never get this part.
02:05:48.000 And then now you're 40. And they don't want you anymore because you're 40. They're looking for a 30-year-old guy.
02:05:53.000 They're not looking for a 40-year-old guy.
02:05:54.000 We have our 40-year-old guys.
02:05:56.000 The 40-year-old guys have millions of dollars that they sell in the box office.
02:05:59.000 And a track record.
02:06:00.000 I mean, that's the thing.
02:06:01.000 That's why I love seeing a career like J.K. Simmons where you're like, oh, hell yeah, that could still happen.
02:06:06.000 You know, that guy kind of pops later in his career, and he fucking rules in every movie he's in.
02:06:11.000 What is he in again?
02:06:12.000 Oh, he's Whiplash.
02:06:13.000 He's the teacher, you know?
02:06:15.000 You ever see Whiplash?
02:06:16.000 I didn't see Whiplash.
02:06:17.000 Oh, dude, it's fucking great.
02:06:18.000 I've heard it's great.
02:06:19.000 I mean, you gotta get past it as two...
02:06:22.000 There he is, yeah.
02:06:22.000 He was in Oz.
02:06:24.000 Remember, he was the bad guy in Oz.
02:06:25.000 Look at him, he's all jacked.
02:06:26.000 Well, I mean, you gotta get past the fact that it's two white guys who are amazing jazz musicians being the stars of the movie, but once you get past that, the movie fucking rocks.
02:06:36.000 And then he's Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man.
02:06:40.000 He's on Law& Order.
02:06:41.000 Oh, yeah, that's right.
02:06:42.000 Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man.
02:06:43.000 He's awesome.
02:06:44.000 Yeah.
02:06:44.000 How did they not go to Dennis Farina?
02:06:46.000 That guy just looked like that dude in the comics, you know?
02:06:49.000 Yeah.
02:06:50.000 There's a few of those guys, right?
02:06:52.000 They pop later in their life.
02:06:54.000 It's awesome.
02:06:55.000 Character actors.
02:06:56.000 Love a good character actor.
02:06:58.000 Fuck yeah, man.
02:07:00.000 It's such a brutal business and the business promotes conformity, which is one of the worst things for an artist.
02:07:06.000 It promotes conforming to a very progressive liberal ideology that he has to espouse publicly.
02:07:14.000 Yeah.
02:07:15.000 Anybody that is conservative that's in that or religious is in that, they have to hide it.
02:07:20.000 Unless they're Rob Schneider.
02:07:21.000 Yeah.
02:07:22.000 Well, he's not really in it anymore.
02:07:23.000 Like Chris Pratt is a better example.
02:07:25.000 Right.
02:07:26.000 This religious guy has to kind of like not talk about it.
02:07:28.000 And anytime he brings up anything, like anything, even positive stuff, like, you know, saying he's happy, his child is healthy, people are attacking him in the comments.
02:07:38.000 Well, if they know your politics, they will hurt you.
02:07:43.000 If they know you and they don't like you, they will attack a character that you then play who's nothing like you in the reviews.
02:07:52.000 Critics, there was a time when critics had a lot of sway, and now the audience, I think, has gotten too smart, where they've become more sophisticated.
02:08:00.000 But there was a time where those old movies, like The Sweet Smell of Success, where they're like, I'll destroy you in my column.
02:08:05.000 And I'm like, that's fucking over.
02:08:07.000 That's over.
02:08:07.000 That's over.
02:08:08.000 It doesn't work.
02:08:09.000 It's just one person's opinion now.
02:08:11.000 Even if you're writing it in the New York Post or the New York Times, it's just a human.
02:08:15.000 It's a human's opinion.
02:08:16.000 It used to be, oh my God, the Times says you suck.
02:08:18.000 And you'd be like, oh my God, I suck.
02:08:21.000 I must suck.
02:08:22.000 But now, you know, Kurt Metzger says the Times is like a fat girl's Tumblr blog.
02:08:27.000 It's gotten to this weird place where society and word of mouth and people tweeting about stuff and Facebooking about stuff and then telling their friends at work.
02:08:39.000 That's how stuff gets popular.
02:08:41.000 And then, you know, promos and you see it looks awesome in the preview.
02:08:44.000 The preview's hilarious or the preview's...
02:08:46.000 Not very much anymore.
02:08:47.000 Previews are hilarious.
02:08:49.000 You don't see a lot of fucking really hardcore comedy movies anymore.
02:08:52.000 They don't make them anymore.
02:08:53.000 Like think about Superbad.
02:08:54.000 I watched The Hangover recently.
02:08:55.000 That's a great movie.
02:08:56.000 It's probably the last one.
02:08:57.000 It's very hard to make a big budget comedy because no one wants to put money in it.
02:09:02.000 But I'm like, man, I think the public is starving for like a Todd Phillips type of comedy.
02:09:08.000 Yeah, but the problem is, like, those movies get attacked so hard.
02:09:11.000 Yeah.
02:09:12.000 Those guys don't want to do them anymore.
02:09:13.000 Did they really get attacked, though?
02:09:15.000 If Superbad came out today, it would get eviscerated.
02:09:18.000 You think so?
02:09:18.000 100%.
02:09:19.000 Why?
02:09:19.000 What about it?
02:09:20.000 It's bad.
02:09:20.000 There's so much about it, man.
02:09:22.000 They went for it.
02:09:24.000 They went for all the funny shit.
02:09:25.000 They had ridiculous characters in it.
02:09:27.000 But that's the beauty of that movie, is that it's kids making insane decisions.
02:09:32.000 That's why South Park is great.
02:09:33.000 They're fucking kids.
02:09:34.000 It's funny.
02:09:35.000 I don't understand why you can't make that.
02:09:37.000 I don't know what happened.
02:09:38.000 You could, but you would have to have the right people with the right amount of balls, and I bet it would be hugely successful.
02:09:45.000 I think of movies that were like big comedy movies and it's been a minute.
02:09:50.000 Do you know what would have to happen?
02:09:52.000 You would have to do one on like a right-wing streaming platform like the Daily Wire.
02:09:57.000 They would let you do it.
02:10:00.000 They're probably the only ones that would let you be uncensored.
02:10:03.000 Would they make a funny movie, though, on the Daily Wire?
02:10:05.000 I bet they would let you make a funny movie.
02:10:07.000 I mean, jeez.
02:10:08.000 See, people have to take chances now.
02:10:10.000 And they have to show that they're for freedom of speech.
02:10:15.000 We're for the First Amendment.
02:10:16.000 Yeah.
02:10:16.000 So they'll let you get away with some wild shit now.
02:10:18.000 Right.
02:10:19.000 In certain places that are trying to make a point.
02:10:21.000 Whereas in other places, they're trying to back off.
02:10:23.000 And they're scared.
02:10:24.000 Like, we just want family-friendly stuff.
02:10:26.000 We just want this.
02:10:27.000 We just want that.
02:10:28.000 You know, there's a lot of, like, weirdness in that.
02:10:30.000 And they get pushback from the people that work in the organizations, right?
02:10:33.000 So you get kids that are coming right out of college, fully indoctrinated into the world of woke.
02:10:37.000 And then they start entering into these tech companies.
02:10:39.000 And they're fully indoctrinated.
02:10:41.000 And they're the majority of the people there.
02:10:43.000 And so a lot of them feel like they're activists.
02:10:46.000 So they have to have their voice.
02:10:47.000 And so they speak up.
02:10:49.000 And, like, this is what happened during the Dave Chappelle thing at Netflix.
02:10:51.000 Like, people walked into meetings.
02:10:54.000 And demanded to be heard in the middle of Netflix.
02:10:57.000 They weren't just an employee anymore.
02:10:59.000 Now they were an activist.
02:11:00.000 There is a self-esteem movement that's interesting where it's like...
02:11:05.000 I don't understand that entirely.
02:11:09.000 It's entitlement.
02:11:10.000 I do think...
02:11:11.000 They have to adapt or they'll die.
02:11:14.000 Companies like Netflix, Amazon...
02:11:16.000 I mean, Amazon won't die, let's be real.
02:11:17.000 They have other irons in the fire.
02:11:18.000 But I mean, Netflix, HBO, Hulu, all these streamers.
02:11:24.000 You need to make shit that people want to see.
02:11:27.000 And I think you're right that comedy is...
02:11:31.000 With stand-up, I guess, it's weird that...
02:11:33.000 We talked about Tarantino earlier.
02:11:34.000 It's weird that you can get away with it as a stand-up as yourself, but in a movie with characters, for some reason, it doesn't fly anymore.
02:11:43.000 Because in everything else, it's the opposite, right?
02:11:45.000 Well, stand-up is only one person.
02:11:47.000 It's hard to...
02:11:48.000 You could find the people that distributed it, but it's only one person.
02:11:50.000 If it's a movie, like a comedy movie, all the actors in it are fucked.
02:11:55.000 Everyone's fucked.
02:11:55.000 But to me, that's why it should be...
02:11:57.000 Not as bad.
02:11:58.000 There's so many people on board with this.
02:12:00.000 Like, when people are like, you know, Kevin Spacey's canceled, I'm like, cool, I'm still watching L.A. Confidential.
02:12:05.000 A shitload of people were involved in that movie.
02:12:07.000 You don't get to take away a fucking movie.
02:12:08.000 You can't take away House of Cards.
02:12:10.000 He's so good in House of Cards.
02:12:11.000 So good, man.
02:12:12.000 He's a great actor.
02:12:13.000 He's fucking great.
02:12:14.000 He's crazy as fuck.
02:12:15.000 I do feel like he is the dude in Swimming with Sharks he played.
02:12:18.000 Yeah, probably.
02:12:18.000 He is that dude.
02:12:19.000 It sounds like he's a dick grabber.
02:12:23.000 You know, it probably works a lot.
02:12:24.000 That's probably part of the problem.
02:12:26.000 You know, like, oh my god, Kevin Spacey grabbed my dick.
02:12:28.000 I think I'm gonna go blow him.
02:12:29.000 And then all of a sudden it's on and popping, you know?
02:12:33.000 You need to make, you need to get people on board with like a great, I think once it's, because these companies at the end of the day stand for nothing.
02:12:42.000 So, except for money.
02:12:43.000 So when you do show that it's profitable, I think they're all going to be back on board.
02:12:47.000 You just need one back on board.
02:12:49.000 I mean, you can tell that it's all what's good for business when you see HBO, Netflix, whatever group is most marginalized that month.
02:12:55.000 They'll do like, oh, please enjoy our selection of hashtag end Asian hate.
02:13:01.000 And it's like, we have Harold and Kumar too.
02:13:03.000 I'm like, that's it?
02:13:04.000 You got one fucking movie, and I'm supposed to be impressed?
02:13:07.000 So, I mean, I do think it's all, like, what's good for business, and they think this is good for business, so make one good comedy that is a success, and it's back.
02:13:17.000 Well, I bet Netflix is a place that could do it, if anybody could do it, because Netflix did release that memo saying, like, look, if you work here and you don't enjoy what the content of the people that put out, that work with us, make and put on our network, then you don't have to work here.
02:13:31.000 Yeah.
02:13:32.000 We offer your severance package, you can take off.
02:13:35.000 Which is a pretty, I think, fair statement.
02:13:37.000 Very reasonable.
02:13:38.000 If you don't like this, then, you know, I think it's good when people side with the artist.
02:13:42.000 I also think, like, you know, with stand-up, I think we're alright.
02:13:46.000 I do think, like, enough comics will support you.
02:13:49.000 Look, it's...
02:13:51.000 We've circumvented the industry enough of us as comics to be like, we don't really need them.
02:13:55.000 I wasn't expecting Netflix to buy this special and I was totally fine if they didn't.
02:14:00.000 I was kind of like, yeah, I'll put it on YouTube.
02:14:03.000 Great.
02:14:03.000 And then my agent was like, Netflix wants your special.
02:14:06.000 And I was like, all right, it'll be a different audience that will see it.
02:14:09.000 That'll be great.
02:14:09.000 They'll see it too, though.
02:14:10.000 Everyone will see it.
02:14:11.000 That's the thing of today.
02:14:13.000 People see it, they'll tell other people it's great, and then other people see it.
02:14:17.000 Hopefully.
02:14:17.000 It almost doesn't matter where it goes now.
02:14:20.000 Look what Louis CK's doing.
02:14:21.000 He just puts it up on his website.
02:14:23.000 Well, Louis, it's a different thing, because he asked for money.
02:14:25.000 I remember when I put out my YouTube special, I told Louis, and he said, that's a terrible idea.
02:14:31.000 Because Louie is from a different school where it was like, you pay for it.
02:14:34.000 And I was like, but Louie, you had like multiple HBO specials before you did this.
02:14:38.000 So you had a huge audience.
02:14:40.000 For me, this is to get the audience for The Road.
02:14:41.000 I think that was the difference.
02:14:42.000 I had done multiple Comedy Central specials.
02:14:44.000 No one fucking watched them.
02:14:46.000 Here's the thing.
02:14:47.000 No one knows that it's a terrible idea.
02:14:48.000 Yeah.
02:14:49.000 That's not true.
02:14:50.000 It's like, to say it's a terrible idea is to say, well, I don't do it that way, and I don't agree with...
02:14:55.000 I wouldn't do that.
02:14:56.000 But it doesn't mean it's not a good idea.
02:14:58.000 Objectively, it's a great idea.
02:15:00.000 But in his defense, he was like, I don't get why you wouldn't get paid for it.
02:15:03.000 And it's understandable, like, for a guy who did it his way.
02:15:07.000 It's an understandable...
02:15:08.000 Yeah, but he's got to recognize that that wasn't an available option for him at that stage of his career.
02:15:13.000 And if it was, he would be wise to take it.
02:15:16.000 Because if something goes viral on YouTube, that's invaluable.
02:15:19.000 Whatever they give you, Netflix gives you X amount of dollars, but only 100,000 people see it.
02:15:24.000 Versus you put it on YouTube and 4 million people see it.
02:15:28.000 You'll make way more in touring.
02:15:31.000 That's what I think is interesting.
02:15:32.000 I did Letterman's show on Netflix and he was kind of like, he's of that generation where he was like, I don't understand how you make money.
02:15:39.000 I was like, well, there's money.
02:15:40.000 Because he came up when it was like sitcom or bust.
02:15:43.000 Right.
02:15:43.000 And now I'm like, no, live touring is kind of where you make the money.
02:15:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:15:49.000 Everybody...
02:15:50.000 Back in that era, one of the sitcom.
02:15:52.000 Yeah.
02:15:53.000 You know, this is a different time, man.
02:15:55.000 It really is.
02:15:57.000 It's a way better time for us.
02:15:58.000 It's way better.
02:15:59.000 And if he was coming up, he would put his stuff on YouTube, too.
02:16:03.000 I mean, you'd be silly.
02:16:04.000 Late Night with David Letterman on YouTube?
02:16:06.000 Yeah.
02:16:06.000 It would be fucking awesome.
02:16:07.000 It'd be amazing.
02:16:09.000 That was the same argument about podcasts.
02:16:11.000 Like, Howard Stern famously used to shit all over podcasts.
02:16:14.000 I know.
02:16:14.000 Why are you wasting your time with that?
02:16:16.000 But he got paid $500 million by Sirius, so he was kind of like, I'm right.
02:16:20.000 Exactly.
02:16:21.000 So it's like, you go with kind of, like, a lot of people bestow wisdom, but it's like, this is my life.
02:16:26.000 That's what they're saying.
02:16:27.000 Well, he's right for him.
02:16:28.000 Exactly.
02:16:29.000 But he's not even right for him.
02:16:30.000 Because if he, look, he's still Howard Stern.
02:16:33.000 If he decided to just go do a show somewhere else and just put it online and sell ads for it, it would be fucking massive.
02:16:41.000 Have you had him on here ever?
02:16:42.000 No.
02:16:43.000 Would you ever?
02:16:43.000 Sure.
02:16:44.000 That'd be a great interview.
02:16:45.000 Yeah.
02:16:45.000 Because it would be back and forth.
02:16:47.000 It'd be like tennis, you guys trying to interview each other.
02:16:49.000 I would just talk to him.
02:16:50.000 I would want to talk to him.
02:16:51.000 I don't like interviews.
02:16:52.000 Yeah.
02:16:53.000 I wouldn't even want to have a specific thing to talk to him about.
02:16:55.000 He's a great interviewer.
02:16:55.000 Yeah, I was on the show a bunch of times.
02:16:57.000 Yeah.
02:16:58.000 It's a thing, though, where he's a part of this...
02:17:02.000 I mean, he's the greatest radio broadcaster of all time.
02:17:05.000 You should say that.
02:17:06.000 That's what I believe.
02:17:07.000 I believe that all of us are walking in his footsteps.
02:17:10.000 Everybody who does podcasts, we're doing like wild, uncensored conversations because he opened the door.
02:17:17.000 Because there was no wild, uncensored conversations.
02:17:19.000 That's patient zero.
02:17:21.000 In the podcast world, it's Howard Stern.
02:17:23.000 100%.
02:17:24.000 And then all the other people came from...
02:17:25.000 I mean, I know there was Don Imus, and he was controversial and all this stuff, but it's Howard Stern.
02:17:31.000 And then it was Opie and Anthony, because Opie and Anthony opened up the door for just a hang.
02:17:36.000 They're the real seed of podcasts.
02:17:38.000 Because the Howard Stern show was, you were being interviewed by the great Howard Stern, and he was behind this thing where he had all the fucking levers, and he would mix the sound and shit himself.
02:17:49.000 He works all the buttons himself.
02:17:51.000 He was a real, trained guy.
02:17:54.000 DJ, you know, before he became this...
02:17:56.000 I mean, he figured out a thing that no one had figured out.
02:17:59.000 It's like, people talk like this privately.
02:18:01.000 Why shouldn't you talk like this publicly in morning radio when people are stuck in traffic and they're fucking bored?
02:18:06.000 Give them something fun and go crazy and go for it and get wild.
02:18:10.000 And he was the first guy to do it.
02:18:12.000 But what Opie and Anthony did was they just let us come on and hang out like this.
02:18:17.000 So we would just be hanging.
02:18:19.000 And it would be Rich Voss and Jim Norton and Patrice.
02:18:21.000 I love Rich Voss.
02:18:22.000 I mean, those guys are classics.
02:18:24.000 Yeah, it was Nick DiPaolo and fucking Bill Burr and Ari Shaffir.
02:18:29.000 We would just go and hang out.
02:18:30.000 And that's what we did.
02:18:32.000 It was like, that was the birth of podcasting.
02:18:33.000 It was really the Opie and Anthony show.
02:18:35.000 That's a great point.
02:18:36.000 A lot of the guys were really, that's where they broke.
02:18:38.000 Yeah.
02:18:40.000 I will say a lot of those listeners, I'm like, holy shit.
02:18:43.000 Animals.
02:18:43.000 Take a break from the comments for a day, maybe.
02:18:46.000 Maybe hug your kids, you know?
02:18:47.000 Well, I think they encouraged that.
02:18:50.000 You know, there was like an encouragement of that sort of...
02:18:53.000 That's what you're worried about with your audience.
02:18:54.000 Like, what are you encouraging from your audience?
02:18:57.000 Like, are they mimicking the way you interface with other people?
02:19:01.000 Because Open Anthony were brutal in how they trashed everything.
02:19:04.000 I know, but...
02:19:05.000 Norton, when he trashes you, it's with love.
02:19:08.000 Right, but that's you while you're there.
02:19:09.000 But if there was someone else that they're trashing that wasn't there, they would be fucking ruthless.
02:19:14.000 Yeah.
02:19:14.000 And so they put that energy, that attacking energy out there.
02:19:18.000 And those fans are like, that's what I was looking for.
02:19:20.000 They're savages.
02:19:21.000 And you find these savages.
02:19:22.000 It's interesting.
02:19:22.000 I mean, Voss is another one where, like, when he trashes you, it feels good.
02:19:25.000 It's great.
02:19:26.000 Because I love Rich.
02:19:27.000 I remember I did the Jokers, the Impractical Jokers cruise years ago with Rich.
02:19:30.000 And, like, dude...
02:19:31.000 It was like Rich, Ari, Tim Dillon.
02:19:33.000 It was like a great crew, Yamanika, a great crew of people.
02:19:36.000 And I remember after one show, a woman came up to me in front of Rich and goes, you were our favorite.
02:19:41.000 And Rich overhears it.
02:19:42.000 And I just see him walk over and he goes, oh yeah?
02:19:45.000 Well, your friend is prettier than you.
02:19:47.000 Oh, God.
02:19:49.000 Jesus Christ.
02:19:51.000 He didn't miss a moment.
02:19:52.000 And this isn't even, like, during the show?
02:19:55.000 No.
02:19:56.000 It's after the show.
02:19:57.000 We're in the fucking, like, we're on, like, a deck, and I'm like...
02:20:01.000 Bro.
02:20:01.000 I couldn't stop laughing.
02:20:03.000 I was like, I cannot believe...
02:20:05.000 35 plus years of that shit locked and loaded.
02:20:08.000 Just like, boom, boom.
02:20:09.000 Just counter-punching.
02:20:10.000 Just Rich Voss.
02:20:11.000 A fucking classic.
02:20:13.000 Yeah, I met Rich Voss back in the Jerry Curl days.
02:20:15.000 Oh my god.
02:20:16.000 Was he wearing gold chains on stage?
02:20:18.000 That was crazy.
02:20:19.000 He's hilarious.
02:20:20.000 He's always been hilarious.
02:20:20.000 He's a classic.
02:20:21.000 Yeah, but that whole environment of the Opie and Anthony Hanks.
02:20:25.000 I missed it.
02:20:27.000 I was at the cellar later.
02:20:28.000 When I was there, the only remnants of that were Keith Robinson, who I love, and...
02:20:33.000 Love Keith.
02:20:34.000 And, you know, Colin and all these, like, classic.
02:20:36.000 I remember when I auditioned at the Comedy Cellar, I was so nervous, and Keith is just torturing me.
02:20:41.000 He's just fucking with me.
02:20:42.000 And it's making me laugh.
02:20:43.000 But in front of everyone, he's like, look how nervous this guy is.
02:20:46.000 Look at him.
02:20:47.000 And everyone's just laughing at me.
02:20:48.000 And that was my intro to the Cellar.
02:20:50.000 I did a gig in Miami, and it was at a theater.
02:20:53.000 And before me, I had, like, a 10 o'clock show, and before me was Wanda Sykes and Keith.
02:20:58.000 And they both waved to me as I was coming in.
02:21:02.000 They were like, hey, what's up?
02:21:03.000 What's up?
02:21:03.000 And they both left me notes.
02:21:05.000 And Wanda's note was like, hey, Joe, great to see you.
02:21:09.000 Kick ass tonight.
02:21:10.000 I hope you have a great show.
02:21:11.000 And like a little heart.
02:21:13.000 And then Keith Robbins says, I hope you die the most miserable death you've ever died on stage.
02:21:21.000 Keith is such a great ball buster because there's so much love.
02:21:25.000 He knows how to make you fucking laugh.
02:21:29.000 He has some new material that kills me, man.
02:21:31.000 He had a second stroke, unfortunately, but he goes up.
02:21:34.000 He had a second one?
02:21:35.000 Yeah.
02:21:36.000 What happened in the second one?
02:21:37.000 He's not doing great physically, I mean, but he goes up and he fucking murders.
02:21:41.000 He's slurring his speech and he's limping and he's lost use of his arm and he still goes on stage and it takes the audience like a second and then they're like, holy shit, this guy's hilarious.
02:21:51.000 He had a bit about how he finds himself laughing at disabled people forgetting that he's disabled.
02:21:58.000 Pfft!
02:21:59.000 I was dying.
02:22:01.000 I was like, dude, that's fucking gold.
02:22:04.000 Oh, that's amazing.
02:22:05.000 He's a great, great hang, and he's so fucking funny.
02:22:08.000 Very funny.
02:22:09.000 And, you know, those guys in that scene, like that New York scene, was like the perfect place for podcasts to start, because everybody likes to just talk shit.
02:22:18.000 So there was never a dull moment.
02:22:20.000 There was never a moment where it was dead air.
02:22:22.000 There was never a moment where everybody's like, so what else?
02:22:24.000 There was no what else.
02:22:25.000 It was just constantly going and we're all drinking coffee and it was like one of the few radio shows that I would like genuinely look forward to.
02:22:33.000 I couldn't wait to get in there.
02:22:34.000 Yeah, it's intimidating.
02:22:36.000 I was on at the end.
02:22:37.000 I was on when it was Opie and Jim.
02:22:39.000 I was never on when it was Opie and Anthony.
02:22:42.000 Anthony was a big part of it, man.
02:22:43.000 He's so funny, man.
02:22:45.000 He's a comic that never did comedy.
02:22:47.000 Sure.
02:22:48.000 He's a comic.
02:22:49.000 When you talk to him, he's got a comics mindset.
02:22:51.000 He'll bring up a subject.
02:22:52.000 Yeah, why is it?
02:22:54.000 And then he'll have this brilliant take on things.
02:22:56.000 Yeah.
02:22:56.000 He's great, man.
02:22:58.000 That's where a lot of us heard Patrice really shine.
02:23:02.000 Oh, yeah.
02:23:03.000 His philosophies.
02:23:05.000 The way he would break things down was funny, but he had thought this shit through.
02:23:10.000 Yeah.
02:23:10.000 There was a rock-solid philosophy behind his point.
02:23:15.000 And you had to go, oh...
02:23:17.000 He really shined.
02:23:18.000 I mean, Elephant in the Room was, to me, like one of the iconic comedy specials because it was hard to capture what was so funny about him.
02:23:26.000 Yeah.
02:23:26.000 You know, because he was so unique and the material felt so off the cuff, even though, you know, of course, he was working that out.
02:23:33.000 But, I mean, that was like a classic special.
02:23:36.000 He would have been the best podcaster alive.
02:23:38.000 If he was alive today, Patrice, if he had a podcaster, he would be number one.
02:23:43.000 He had the gift of gab, for sure.
02:23:48.000 I think of Patrice and Greg Giraldo as well.
02:23:50.000 I love Greg Giraldo's comedy so much.
02:23:53.000 Did you ever see the one with Greg Giraldo when he was on Tough Crowd with Dennis Leary?
02:23:56.000 It's insane.
02:23:57.000 That's brilliant.
02:23:58.000 That was Greg in a nutshell, where it was like...
02:24:02.000 You beat him up with jokes.
02:24:04.000 Yes!
02:24:05.000 You beat up...
02:24:05.000 And it felt like Dennis was a bully.
02:24:07.000 I mean, it just felt like...
02:24:08.000 We had sunglasses on.
02:24:09.000 The sunglasses, the leather jacket.
02:24:11.000 I'm like, are you like Cobra Kai?
02:24:13.000 Like, what the fuck is this shit?
02:24:15.000 And Greg was just so...
02:24:18.000 It just felt like justice with Greg always.
02:24:21.000 He was never a dick, it seemed like.
02:24:23.000 His son was...
02:24:24.000 He could have been way meaner.
02:24:25.000 Oh, he was so cool.
02:24:27.000 I mean, with that particular one, he could have been way meaner.
02:24:30.000 But it was one of those things where Dennis was huge right then.
02:24:33.000 Sure.
02:24:34.000 Like, he had just taken off.
02:24:35.000 He had no cure for cancer, and he was like...
02:24:37.000 His career was taken off.
02:24:39.000 So it was like...
02:24:40.000 It was like a class struggle thing.
02:24:44.000 Sure.
02:24:45.000 You know, which I don't like at all.
02:24:47.000 I don't like when comics treat other comics as if they're not the same thing.
02:24:50.000 It's fucking weird.
02:24:51.000 I don't like it.
02:24:52.000 Well, it's also like you're not really a comic anymore if you're doing that, right?
02:24:57.000 You're kind of like a movie star.
02:24:58.000 Exactly.
02:24:59.000 And the sunglasses, it's like...
02:25:00.000 Is that what you always wanted, too?
02:25:02.000 Did you always want to be the man?
02:25:04.000 Is that what you wanted?
02:25:05.000 It's like you think you're being an alpha, but you just seem out of touch.
02:25:08.000 You know, it's like the type of thing that if you showed up like, dude, if I take any fashion risk and I roll in the comedy cellar, I'm going to get my ass kicked.
02:25:15.000 Like if I roll in, I remember I had a mustache once and Colin Quinn's like, you know what pisses me off is I think you like that fucking mustache.
02:25:22.000 I just got tortured for it for like a whole night and I was like, I just went home and went...
02:25:28.000 You know, it's like, there's something about you that keeps you on your shit.
02:25:32.000 Yeah.
02:25:32.000 And I'm like, that's a dude that, like, showing up in sunglasses, that dude's- Yeah, right away.
02:25:36.000 Someone's not keeping that dude honest, you know?
02:25:38.000 Exactly.
02:25:39.000 Showing up in sunglasses, unless you're a rapper.
02:25:42.000 Yeah, and belittling your peers.
02:25:45.000 Like, guess what, man?
02:25:46.000 You're maybe bigger than Greg.
02:25:47.000 Greg's fucking ten times funnier than you, dude.
02:25:49.000 I mean, like, Greg was a great comic.
02:25:52.000 Yeah, a real comic.
02:25:54.000 It's, you know, it's one of those things, man.
02:25:57.000 It's like that era, those people.
02:25:58.000 They wanted to all be a star.
02:26:00.000 They all wanted to be the man who gets to bump everybody.
02:26:02.000 But what does that even fucking mean?
02:26:03.000 And also, like, the guy who bumps everyone?
02:26:05.000 Comics don't fucking like you.
02:26:07.000 It's not nice.
02:26:07.000 You know who doesn't do that shit?
02:26:08.000 Like, Ray Romano shows the seller and he's like...
02:26:10.000 I'll go on after you.
02:26:11.000 I'm like, you're Ray Romano.
02:26:12.000 You could fucking bump us.
02:26:13.000 We don't give a shit.
02:26:14.000 But it's always the guy like that where you're like, that's the nice, cool guy.
02:26:18.000 And then you get the comic who shows up and is doing 45 in the middle of the show.
02:26:23.000 And now you're not letting the young comics go up.
02:26:25.000 And I will always say, Louis is always cool about that shit.
02:26:29.000 Always.
02:26:29.000 Even when he was at the height of...
02:26:32.000 Yeah, he's always cool about that shit.
02:26:33.000 He'll go on last.
02:26:34.000 Yeah.
02:26:35.000 And Attell, like, look, Attell could do whatever he wants to the seller.
02:26:38.000 He's going on at, like, 1.15 a.m.
02:26:41.000 Isn't that wild?
02:26:41.000 Yeah.
02:26:42.000 But that's also why his act is so tight and it's so good.
02:26:46.000 Yeah.
02:26:46.000 Like, he gets the people with, like, the least amount of attention span and murders to them.
02:26:49.000 Yeah.
02:26:50.000 It's like he's running with weights on, you know?
02:26:52.000 It's crazy.
02:26:55.000 It's like that scene in Star Wars where Yoda just takes out the lightsaber and you're like, oh shit, Yoda fucked shit up, you know?
02:27:00.000 Louie's happy to go up in front of a shitty crowd, which is amazing.
02:27:04.000 He wants small crowds sometimes.
02:27:06.000 He wants weird shows where people don't know he's there, and then he shows up.
02:27:10.000 He has a real process, man.
02:27:13.000 He romanticizes the struggle, for sure.
02:27:15.000 I remember him saying, he's like, I wish I was a comic in Bushwick right now.
02:27:19.000 I'm like, that's hilarious to hear.
02:27:22.000 I'm like, you do maybe for like five minutes a day.
02:27:24.000 I'm sure the rest of your life you're happier in a fucking massive apartment.
02:27:28.000 You can create plenty of fucking struggle in your life.
02:27:31.000 The bad gigs will come at every level.
02:27:34.000 You don't need to create bad gigs for yourself.
02:27:36.000 They're gonna come unexpected, like a surprise party.
02:27:39.000 They'll be there.
02:27:40.000 I think it's just, you know, people have a certain amount of angst inside of them, no matter what they do.
02:27:45.000 And there's a certain amount of desire for struggle.
02:27:47.000 Because they realize that the human mind is wired to overcome resistance and struggle and problems.
02:27:55.000 And if you don't have any problems at all, You create them.
02:27:58.000 You're gonna make your own problems.
02:27:59.000 Like, just find stuff to do.
02:28:02.000 Find stuff to do that's difficult, and that should be your struggle, and then, yeah, well, you don't have to worry about your rent anymore, because now you're wealthy, but don't wish you were fucking poor.
02:28:12.000 Don't wish things were bad, because bad things are going to happen regardless.
02:28:15.000 Like, be grateful for health, be grateful for things in your life not being horrible.
02:28:19.000 But I get the sentiment behind it.
02:28:21.000 The sentiment behind it is that there's something noble in that fucking pure struggle, the artist who wants to succeed and achieve.
02:28:28.000 And that's a magic thing, man.
02:28:29.000 When you see a comic that's, you know, maybe three years in, four years in, it's just starting to really crack.
02:28:36.000 And you see them on stage, and they're fucking killing it.
02:28:38.000 And you find out that six months ago they were living in their car, or they get by waiting tables or delivering food for DoorDash, and you go, wow, there's something wild about that.
02:28:51.000 There's something badass.
02:28:52.000 Knowing that that person's going to crack.
02:28:54.000 They have the skills.
02:28:56.000 They're already really funny.
02:28:57.000 They've got great points.
02:28:58.000 All they need to do is just put in the time.
02:29:00.000 That's a real fucking killer right there.
02:29:03.000 It's exciting to see people break through, for sure.
02:29:05.000 And it's exciting when you know they're really close.
02:29:08.000 And when they have a great special in them, and they're like, the world's gonna see that, and now they have to fucking go back and eat shit and write a new act.
02:29:15.000 You're gonna see this guy, Hans Kim, tonight.
02:29:17.000 This kid, six months ago, was living in his van.
02:29:21.000 And now he opens up for me in arenas.
02:29:25.000 He was living in his van.
02:29:26.000 He was basically homeless.
02:29:28.000 Started doing Kill Tony.
02:29:30.000 He's on Kill Tony.
02:29:31.000 He does one minute every week.
02:29:33.000 One new minute every week in front of the internet.
02:29:35.000 And kills.
02:29:35.000 The guy writes constantly.
02:29:38.000 What kind of stand-up is it?
02:29:40.000 I don't want to say.
02:29:40.000 I mean, very offensive.
02:29:42.000 But very funny.
02:29:43.000 Like, just real stand-up.
02:29:44.000 Real comedy.
02:29:45.000 Jokes.
02:29:45.000 But really funny.
02:29:47.000 And it's watching this guy navigate through this thing.
02:29:52.000 It's so exciting for me to see.
02:29:54.000 To see this kid who was basically homeless six months ago, and he worked so fucking hard.
02:29:59.000 He's got fucking spreadsheets with all his jokes on him, and he's writing shit out.
02:30:03.000 He's always got his laptop out.
02:30:04.000 He's always writing.
02:30:05.000 He's always got new premises.
02:30:06.000 I love autistic joke people.
02:30:08.000 He's out there.
02:30:08.000 Some of my favorite people is the ones who are obsessively weird joke people.
02:30:13.000 Yeah, that's him.
02:30:14.000 But it's also, he's at that really romantic moment where the career is just starting to pop.
02:30:22.000 Everything is coming alive for him.
02:30:24.000 Yeah.
02:30:25.000 He lives with Bryan Simpson now.
02:30:27.000 Yeah, he's funny as hell.
02:30:29.000 I like him a lot.
02:30:30.000 He's on the show tonight, too.
02:30:31.000 He just moved here.
02:30:33.000 Everyone just followed you here.
02:30:36.000 Well, it's a good spot.
02:30:39.000 It's a good spot.
02:30:40.000 It's not like they're following me to the fucking desert.
02:30:42.000 I'm telling them, this is the best fucking place.
02:30:44.000 And they go there, and they go, holy shit, this is the best place.
02:30:47.000 And I'm like, it's the best place.
02:30:48.000 What do you love about Austin?
02:30:50.000 First of all, it's only a million people.
02:30:52.000 Which is really good.
02:30:53.000 Like, you think it's like, wow, it's kind of a small town.
02:30:56.000 Yeah, and everyone's nice.
02:30:57.000 They're nice.
02:30:58.000 They're friendly.
02:30:59.000 You get a small town way of people interacting with each other.
02:31:03.000 People wave when you drive by.
02:31:05.000 There's a guy in my neighborhood, this old dude.
02:31:07.000 And he's always working on his lawn.
02:31:09.000 So every time I drive by, me and this guy wave to each other.
02:31:12.000 And I look forward to it.
02:31:14.000 I could go to work another way.
02:31:17.000 There's other ways to go.
02:31:18.000 But I go that way every time, hoping that I'm going to see my neighbor so I could wave at him.
02:31:23.000 I have fucking neighbors in California.
02:31:24.000 I was next to you for 10 years.
02:31:25.000 I don't even know their name.
02:31:26.000 We didn't even talk to each other.
02:31:28.000 There's something nice about a...
02:31:31.000 About like a neighbor who, and also like Texas, like there's some sort of like weird small town warmth here.
02:31:36.000 I do feel it a little bit.
02:31:37.000 People are friendly.
02:31:38.000 People are friendly and they're smart.
02:31:40.000 And they appreciate live music.
02:31:42.000 They appreciate live comedy.
02:31:44.000 And they're not, I mean, as far as like city attitudes go, they don't really have it.
02:31:52.000 They have like a, it's like a small town and everyone's kind of happy that they're in this cool place.
02:31:58.000 And then you do live comedy here and the comics come and they feel free.
02:32:02.000 Yeah.
02:32:03.000 Because now instead of being connected to Hollywood, now you're connected to podcasts.
02:32:06.000 So now you're connected to something that's got a bigger footprint.
02:32:10.000 It's bigger in terms of more people watch it.
02:32:12.000 Right.
02:32:13.000 And then you also don't ever have to worry about being kicked off NBC because you said a cunt joke and someone filmed it.
02:32:22.000 It's a different world.
02:32:23.000 They're gonna have to adapt or they're gonna die.
02:32:25.000 I mean, that's really the truth of it.
02:32:27.000 They'll be able to do family-friendly, family-oriented shit if they want to do that.
02:32:31.000 But that's all they're gonna be able to do is the problem.
02:32:34.000 I mean, I get it.
02:32:35.000 Look, I love New York.
02:32:36.000 I can't defend it.
02:32:37.000 I'm a New York City kid through and through.
02:32:39.000 I'll always live there.
02:32:40.000 But it's insane, dude.
02:32:44.000 My neighborhood right now, Upper West Side, it dies down early.
02:32:49.000 It's a lot of old people.
02:32:49.000 It's all old people in my building.
02:32:53.000 I mean, there's no bodegas open late.
02:32:55.000 There's like two around me late.
02:32:56.000 Very few, so there's like no people.
02:32:58.000 You go down to the West Village, Lower East Side.
02:33:00.000 It's hopping.
02:33:01.000 Holy shit, dude.
02:33:02.000 It's hopping.
02:33:03.000 You better fucking have your martial arts ready because dudes are going to be in your fucking face.
02:33:07.000 It's like a video game.
02:33:09.000 You feel like you're playing GTA 5 or something.
02:33:10.000 It's kind of fun.
02:33:11.000 Really?
02:33:12.000 Yeah, you're kind of dodging people.
02:33:13.000 It keeps you alert.
02:33:14.000 So there's a lot more aggressive people?
02:33:16.000 It's aggressive, dude.
02:33:17.000 It's fucking weird.
02:33:18.000 It's tough.
02:33:19.000 It feels like a whole city that just won't behave.
02:33:22.000 Because you're on top of each other.
02:33:23.000 They all feel like your roommates a little bit.
02:33:25.000 But is it worse post-pandemic?
02:33:27.000 Oh my god, yeah.
02:33:28.000 Much worse?
02:33:28.000 Yeah, dude.
02:33:29.000 Yeah.
02:33:29.000 Every downtown in the country is worse.
02:33:32.000 Like, I was just in Pittsburgh.
02:33:33.000 I was in Salt Lake.
02:33:34.000 All these downtowns.
02:33:35.000 I'm like, this is a fucking disaster.
02:33:37.000 Because they don't...
02:33:38.000 That's where the offices were.
02:33:40.000 And no one goes into their office anymore.
02:33:42.000 So downtown is just bad now throughout the country.
02:33:45.000 Every downtown is not good.
02:33:48.000 So, I mean, but then again, like, I go on the road.
02:33:51.000 I don't want to stay off some fucking highway.
02:33:53.000 I'm staying downtown because I want to take walks.
02:33:55.000 I'm a city kid.
02:33:56.000 I like walking.
02:33:56.000 Right.
02:33:57.000 So, it's a vibe, for sure.
02:34:01.000 Like, New York City...
02:34:04.000 I love it, but yeah, if I'm a woman late at night, you better walk that woman to the door.
02:34:08.000 You know what I mean?
02:34:10.000 That's some shit.
02:34:12.000 Oof.
02:34:13.000 Yeah.
02:34:14.000 But it's also like, hey man, good art comes out of bad shit.
02:34:17.000 Taxi Driver, right?
02:34:18.000 A lot of good movies.
02:34:20.000 Yeah, there's probably going to be a lot of great comedy out of people getting robbed.
02:34:25.000 Just get that iPhone ready, dude.
02:34:27.000 Yeah, it's tricky.
02:34:29.000 The other thing I like about this place is that, we were talking about before, that it's a blue city surrounded by a red state.
02:34:35.000 I love that, yeah.
02:34:36.000 It keeps it in check.
02:34:38.000 Sure.
02:34:38.000 You know, there's something about that.
02:34:41.000 And it's just, this whole town, it's like, Texas itself is a very rebellious place.
02:34:47.000 And this is where Kinnison started, and this is where Bill Hicks started.
02:34:50.000 Sure.
02:34:51.000 And there's something about that that's baked into their appreciation for comedy.
02:34:57.000 I mean, those guys put Texas on the map as far as comedy because people thought about comedy.
02:35:02.000 They thought of New York, thought of L.A., maybe San Francisco, maybe Chicago.
02:35:07.000 Boston, for sure.
02:35:08.000 But they didn't think of Houston.
02:35:09.000 And two of the best of all time came out of Houston, Texas.
02:35:13.000 Houston's a great comedy city.
02:35:14.000 Great comedy city.
02:35:15.000 And also, you can tell they're Texas comics because religion is such a big part of both their acts.
02:35:21.000 Yeah.
02:35:21.000 And you feel that.
02:35:22.000 That's like the Texan in them.
02:35:24.000 I mean, Bill Hicks is...
02:35:27.000 He's like the Biggie Smalls of comedy.
02:35:29.000 Because the amount of work he did, it's gold.
02:35:32.000 And he died so fucking young.
02:35:34.000 He had like five albums, dude.
02:35:36.000 I think he died at like 34 or something like that.
02:35:38.000 Something like that.
02:35:38.000 Pancreatic cancer.
02:35:40.000 And you re-listen to those albums, dude.
02:35:42.000 Those albums, whenever comics call Bill Hicks overrated, I'm like, you're a fucking idiot.
02:35:47.000 Bill Hicks is great.
02:35:49.000 And you know what's great about Bill Hicks?
02:35:51.000 So many comics now, with his ideology, would only perform in like SF and Portland and Burlington, Vermont.
02:35:57.000 That dude, he's taking that act to Alabama.
02:36:00.000 That's fucking cool.
02:36:01.000 That's why he's bombing.
02:36:03.000 He did the road constantly.
02:36:05.000 Oh, dude, the Flying Saucer tour.
02:36:08.000 Those albums, I'm dying laughing to you.
02:36:11.000 You're listening to one of the greatest comics of all time, bombing, and he released this for us.
02:36:17.000 He's fucking bombing.
02:36:18.000 He's calling the crowd dumb.
02:36:20.000 Yeah.
02:36:21.000 And it's not like just some comic who...
02:36:22.000 It's a great comic calling crowds dumb.
02:36:25.000 There's something beautiful about that.
02:36:26.000 He's so fucking angry on stage, but it was like beautiful anger.
02:36:31.000 It was earned anger.
02:36:32.000 Well, everything was interesting.
02:36:33.000 Even if he was bombing, what he was saying was interesting.
02:36:36.000 Brilliant.
02:36:37.000 Yeah, it was just...
02:36:38.000 That was like one of his tenets of comedy, is even if you're not going to be funny, be interesting.
02:36:42.000 He was Lenny Bruce for us.
02:36:44.000 I listen to Lenny Bruce and I'm like, it's a little, it doesn't resonate for me.
02:36:48.000 I understand that he's brilliant, I understand that we need him, but like, Bill Hicks was like that for guys like us who were like, we, he made it, he made it cool, you know?
02:36:58.000 He made you feel like a hack.
02:37:00.000 You were just telling jokes, and he was up there talking about a young man on acid, thought he could fly.
02:37:05.000 What about positive drug stories?
02:37:07.000 That's a brilliant bit.
02:37:09.000 It's a brilliant bit.
02:37:10.000 It's a pro-drug bit from a guy who was clean and sober at the time.
02:37:14.000 He was talking about the great times that he had when he was doing drugs.
02:37:17.000 I mean, it was also, everything was so well-worded.
02:37:21.000 It was so smart.
02:37:23.000 You know, it was just a completely interesting kind of comedy, and it changed so many people's way of comedy to the point where the punchline in Atlanta, when you had performed there in the green room, somebody wrote in the green room, quit trying to be Hicks.
02:37:36.000 Yeah.
02:37:36.000 Yeah.
02:37:37.000 He had his rules of comedy.
02:37:38.000 And he also, some of them I'm like, alright, he was like, never ask the crowd how they're doing.
02:37:41.000 I'm like, that one's alright.
02:37:42.000 We can do that.
02:37:43.000 That's fine.
02:37:44.000 So many people imitated him was what the point of quit trying to be Hicks was.
02:37:47.000 Of course.
02:37:47.000 They were all trying to do that.
02:37:49.000 They were all trying to be him.
02:37:50.000 You know, and they would go on stage with some fucking half-baked point.
02:37:54.000 About the government or taxes or something?
02:37:57.000 It's like so often with great comics, you miss what the beauty of them was, is that Hicks at his core was silly and funny.
02:38:06.000 And when he got self-righteous, that's kind of when he lost me sometimes.
02:38:09.000 When he was kind of condescending to the crowd, I was kind of like, I don't love this as much as when you're just doing great jokes.
02:38:16.000 I love the bit he does.
02:38:18.000 It's in his half hour on HBO when he's like, I hate when...
02:38:22.000 I love watching people in Aspen smoke cigarettes not knowing they're done inhaling and he does the act out and he just keeps blowing because of the smoke and it's like that's a great fucking bit.
02:38:32.000 Yeah.
02:38:32.000 That's a silly observational joke and you're like oh that dude was great at political stuff, social commentary, religious stuff but then he could just do a fucking observational bit.
02:38:43.000 Yeah.
02:38:44.000 He's one of the all-time greats.
02:38:46.000 So when people write him off as being overrated...
02:38:49.000 It's all in the context of time.
02:38:51.000 You have to think about it that way.
02:38:53.000 If you go and listen to Lenny Bruce, it doesn't make any sense to us because everything has already been understood and covered.
02:38:59.000 Like all the things that he's talking about that are groundbreaking, back then people were like, what is, oh my God, what is happening?
02:39:06.000 Like this guy's breaking down society.
02:39:08.000 No one can do this.
02:39:10.000 No one had done that before, but now everybody does it.
02:39:12.000 So when you hear him do it, and then the things he's saying, the world has moved on so much from 1963 to today that it's impossible to...
02:39:21.000 He still had some jokes that work today.
02:39:25.000 He had one joke.
02:39:26.000 He goes, you know, it's against the law to be homosexual.
02:39:29.000 So what do they do?
02:39:30.000 They put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you.
02:39:34.000 It's a great bit.
02:39:35.000 It's a great bit.
02:39:36.000 And that's a bit from, like, what, 65 or something like that?
02:39:39.000 That's the thing.
02:39:39.000 It's like watching basketball in the 60s, and you're, like, seeing Chamberlain, and you're like, well, there's no Jordan without this shit.
02:39:45.000 Exactly.
02:39:45.000 And, you know, who's Jordan?
02:39:46.000 Carlin Pryor, right?
02:39:47.000 Yes.
02:39:48.000 So, you gotta take Pryor.
02:39:49.000 Also, I love that he was, like, a cool Jew.
02:39:51.000 Like, so often, like, Jews are like, Oh, boy, I'm fucking nervous.
02:39:55.000 I love when...
02:39:57.000 How often did cool Jews pop up in a show?
02:40:00.000 He's one of the coolest.
02:40:01.000 One of the coolest.
02:40:02.000 Elliot Gould.
02:40:02.000 I was, like, grateful for Elliot Gould.
02:40:04.000 I'm like, guys like that.
02:40:05.000 I'm like, well, you're not just doing the, oh, shucks, my fucking...
02:40:08.000 I'm so nervous and I have allergies.
02:40:10.000 I'm like, no, be fucking...
02:40:12.000 Be yourself.
02:40:13.000 Be cool.
02:40:13.000 Is Jeff Goldblum Jewish?
02:40:15.000 I don't know.
02:40:15.000 His name is Jewish as fuck.
02:40:17.000 That's a Jewish name.
02:40:18.000 He's a cool guy.
02:40:19.000 He's a very cool guy.
02:40:20.000 That's what I was going to get to.
02:40:21.000 Great fucking actor.
02:40:22.000 He's a smart science guy.
02:40:22.000 I've been re-watching Larry Sanders and he's so fucking funny.
02:40:25.000 Oh, he's great in everything, man.
02:40:26.000 That's a great show.
02:40:27.000 He's great as the scientist in Jurassic Park.
02:40:29.000 Yes, he's Jewish.
02:40:29.000 There you go.
02:40:30.000 Cool Jewish guy.
02:40:30.000 Cool Jew.
02:40:31.000 Thank God.
02:40:32.000 Yeah, but Lenny Bruce was like...
02:40:34.000 He was a real pioneer.
02:40:37.000 Like, there was no other...
02:40:39.000 I mean, there was Mort Sahl who was doing political...
02:40:41.000 But he doesn't get his shine.
02:40:42.000 No.
02:40:43.000 He just passed away.
02:40:44.000 I mean, he's like...
02:40:45.000 Mort Sahl.
02:40:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:40:46.000 Yeah, Mort Sahl didn't get his shine.
02:40:47.000 Because he was so of his time, like the guy holding the newspaper.
02:40:51.000 Right.
02:40:51.000 And, like, Lenny Bruce broke through, whereas Mort Sahl, I guess...
02:40:54.000 You know what the problem is?
02:40:55.000 Sometimes you live too long.
02:40:56.000 You ain't Che Guevara if you live till fucking 78. Right.
02:41:00.000 You're Che Guevara when you die in your prime.
02:41:02.000 Right.
02:41:02.000 And your young picture is shown everywhere.
02:41:05.000 Right.
02:41:05.000 But when you live too long sometimes, it ain't as cool.
02:41:07.000 Yeah, it's not as cool.
02:41:09.000 So a guy like Lenny Bruce died in the most romantic way possible.
02:41:13.000 Heroin overdose on the bathroom floor.
02:41:15.000 Yeah.
02:41:15.000 That's what you want from that kind of hero.
02:41:16.000 You want to go out like Hendrix or Janis Joplin.
02:41:18.000 That's when you become fucking this shit.
02:41:20.000 I mean, Bill Hicks, too.
02:41:22.000 Like, who knows?
02:41:22.000 Maybe he would have had a shitty podcast.
02:41:24.000 Maybe he would have been great.
02:41:25.000 Who the fuck knows how people age, right?
02:41:27.000 I think he would have been great.
02:41:29.000 He would have been great.
02:41:30.000 He was never not.
02:41:31.000 I don't think...
02:41:32.000 Damn, imagine if he had an HBO show where he just did almost like Bill Maher style, where he just did that.
02:41:37.000 You're like, whoa, that'd be fucking cool, huh?
02:41:39.000 Do you know who had a great story about him?
02:41:41.000 Carrot Top.
02:41:42.000 Really?
02:41:43.000 Because Bill used to make fun of him in Carrot Top's act.
02:41:45.000 Or in Bill Hicks' act, he'd make fun of Carrot Top, rather.
02:41:48.000 And he had this bit about...
02:41:49.000 He goes, yeah, Carrot Top is for people who think...
02:41:52.000 He goes, Gallagher's too heady.
02:41:56.000 LAUGHTER It was just a prop joke.
02:41:59.000 Yeah.
02:42:00.000 And Scott Carrot Top is the fucking sweetheart of a guy.
02:42:04.000 I heard he's the man.
02:42:05.000 He's so cool.
02:42:07.000 And I always felt like he got fucked with for no reason.
02:42:12.000 Like his act is funny.
02:42:13.000 It's funny shit.
02:42:14.000 But he was always like a punchline to comedians.
02:42:17.000 Like that he was not one of us, not a real comic, fuck him.
02:42:20.000 And it was always like people would shit all over Carrot Top.
02:42:23.000 I don't think Norm did him any favors in that interview when he just kept trashing him.
02:42:27.000 Because Norm was so cool that I think, like, when you see a guy as cool as Norm doing that shit, I think it hurts.
02:42:32.000 Well, it hurts if you're sensitive, right?
02:42:34.000 Like, if you're a comic and someone's trashing you, it should be funny.
02:42:38.000 Yeah.
02:42:39.000 There should be some humor to it, you know what I mean?
02:42:42.000 Yeah.
02:42:42.000 But sometimes guys get isolated, and Scott's very isolated.
02:42:46.000 You know, he's out there.
02:42:48.000 In the world on his own, not really connected to comics in the same way.
02:42:52.000 So Hicks, before he died, was really sick.
02:42:56.000 And he came to one of Scott's shows.
02:43:00.000 So Carrot Top's doing a show.
02:43:02.000 And Hicks came to the show and hung...
02:43:04.000 He wanted those last few months to last forever.
02:43:06.000 He said, I thought you hated me.
02:43:11.000 He goes, no, man, I don't fucking hate you.
02:43:14.000 It's just jokes.
02:43:15.000 I'm sorry.
02:43:16.000 That's a big thing that people miss, too, is that most of the time we're fucking around.
02:43:21.000 Do we really hate anyone, any of us?
02:43:24.000 I'm too old to fucking hate anyone, dude.
02:43:27.000 I'm not interested.
02:43:28.000 I don't want that real estate in my body.
02:43:30.000 I would rather not even think about the person than hate them.
02:43:33.000 Hate is too strong a feeling.
02:43:35.000 You don't want to carry that around, man.
02:43:37.000 I've carried that around in my life.
02:43:38.000 It's not fun.
02:43:39.000 It's all-consuming.
02:43:40.000 It's bad for you.
02:43:41.000 And also, like, hey man, like, most people aren't evil.
02:43:44.000 Most people you, like, spend some time with, like, you get to know them and you're like, they got their own shit.
02:43:48.000 I don't want beef with people.
02:43:50.000 I'm too fucking old.
02:43:51.000 It's not necessary.
02:43:53.000 It's not necessary.
02:43:54.000 And you should avoid it whenever possible.
02:43:56.000 And the people that don't avoid it, I'm like, okay, well, that's you.
02:43:58.000 That's the game you're playing.
02:43:59.000 It's the life you're living.
02:44:01.000 You're just gonna get mad at stuff all the time.
02:44:03.000 Mad at people all the time.
02:44:04.000 Constantly in conflict.
02:44:05.000 Like, good luck.
02:44:06.000 I'm not interested in that.
02:44:08.000 I see what it is.
02:44:09.000 Like, we could all go that way.
02:44:10.000 Anyone can go that way.
02:44:12.000 You make choices.
02:44:13.000 And if you want to be that fucking person that's always in beef with people, Take care.
02:44:19.000 It's going to take years off your life.
02:44:22.000 It's a giant distraction.
02:44:24.000 It's a resource hog.
02:44:25.000 It takes away from things that you really want to do.
02:44:27.000 It takes away from things that are actually meaningful and important to you.
02:44:31.000 There's certain people that are fighting things that are just fights.
02:44:34.000 If you're trying to take out Marine Land, I get it.
02:44:37.000 You know what I mean?
02:44:38.000 I have a friend who's been involved in a lawsuit with Marine Land for...
02:44:46.000 How many years now?
02:44:48.000 At least 10 years.
02:44:49.000 At least 10 years.
02:44:50.000 He was a trainer at Marineland, and he exposed the horrific treatment of the dolphins and the walruses and shit like that, and he's still involved in it right now.
02:44:58.000 Walrus whisperer.
02:45:01.000 He's a great dude.
02:45:03.000 That's a different kind of hate.
02:45:04.000 That's the kind of hate you gotta carry around with you.
02:45:06.000 Like, you gotta task.
02:45:08.000 Trying to take out an evil organization that's torturing intelligent marine life.
02:45:13.000 Yes.
02:45:13.000 Not good to do that.
02:45:14.000 That's different.
02:45:15.000 You shouldn't torture animals.
02:45:17.000 Yeah, that's what you're doing.
02:45:18.000 If you have a fucking killer whale in a swimming pool, you're torturing it.
02:45:22.000 Yeah.
02:45:22.000 And it's probably smarter than you.
02:45:24.000 Although it's kind of the equivalent of like a studio apartment in New York.
02:45:26.000 Let's be real.
02:45:27.000 Yeah, but you can get out of your studio apartment if you so choose.
02:45:30.000 If the whale only slept in that little pond, fine.
02:45:33.000 Fair enough.
02:45:34.000 Yeah.
02:45:34.000 It's a fucking shitty existence, man.
02:45:37.000 They're so smart, too.
02:45:37.000 No, elephants, too, in those cages in the zoos.
02:45:40.000 You're like, yeah, it is cruelty to animals.
02:45:42.000 They need their exercise.
02:45:46.000 Pull up his thing, man, because something's happening with his case right now.
02:45:51.000 I think he's been involved in this lawsuit for 10 years.
02:45:55.000 I do have to say this is good fucking whiskey.
02:45:56.000 I know it's my whiskey, but I fucking like it.
02:45:59.000 I'm into it.
02:46:02.000 I got into scotch for a while.
02:46:05.000 What's your scotch?
02:46:06.000 I don't have a kind I like, but I like the old stuff.
02:46:11.000 So Phil Demers, that's my homie, and it says I can confirm that my trial, it's Walrus Whisperer on Twitter and also on Instagram, I think.
02:46:21.000 I can confirm that my trial versus Marineland will be open to the public.
02:46:25.000 It's been a long decade, but I have Marineland exactly where I want them.
02:46:29.000 I'm the captain now.
02:46:31.000 Hell yeah.
02:46:31.000 Yeah, see that's some hate.
02:46:33.000 I don't think it's a bad thing to keep that hate.
02:46:35.000 It's hate for a greater good.
02:46:37.000 I think people know now because of Blackfish.
02:46:42.000 The Cove is another one?
02:46:44.000 Well, the Cove is actually wild dolphins that they slaughter.
02:46:46.000 In Taiji, right?
02:46:47.000 Yeah, that's a different situation, but also horrific.
02:46:50.000 But it's still horrible.
02:46:51.000 Horrific, but it's not captive.
02:46:53.000 The captive whale and dolphin industry is creepy as fuck.
02:46:59.000 Those things are really goddamn smart.
02:47:01.000 They just can't manipulate their environment the way we do.
02:47:04.000 They have dialects.
02:47:06.000 They have a language we don't understand.
02:47:08.000 They have some sort of complex social structure.
02:47:12.000 They travel and they communicate with sound.
02:47:16.000 They move through 3D space underwater.
02:47:18.000 They just don't need thumbs, so they don't have houses.
02:47:20.000 They go where the water's warm.
02:47:21.000 They're smart as fuck.
02:47:22.000 They just didn't need to evolve all the things that we needed to evolve to survive in the above-water world.
02:47:28.000 Right.
02:47:29.000 So they are the dominators of their world.
02:47:31.000 The killer whales have been running shit in the ocean forever until we started scooping them up and putting them in fishing tanks.
02:47:38.000 I mean, imagine what that's like.
02:47:40.000 Imagine what that's like.
02:47:42.000 It's fucked up.
02:47:42.000 It's crazy.
02:47:43.000 I think of it, too, sometimes when I even eat, like, veal.
02:47:45.000 I'm like, did I need to get veal?
02:47:47.000 That wasn't prepared in a nice way.
02:47:49.000 It was not prepared in a nice way.
02:47:50.000 It's a tortured soul.
02:47:52.000 You're dealing with a baby that's tied up in a pin.
02:47:55.000 Yeah.
02:47:55.000 A little pin, like, so it can't move its body.
02:47:58.000 Not good.
02:47:59.000 So it has no muscle tissue.
02:48:00.000 Yeah.
02:48:01.000 Yeah.
02:48:02.000 Yeah.
02:48:03.000 But, then again, you know...
02:48:09.000 Is it better to live until you're a cow if someone kills you?
02:48:13.000 Or is it better if they kill you when you're a baby?
02:48:15.000 I think more life is better.
02:48:17.000 More real life?
02:48:19.000 More life being tortured in a pen is not real life.
02:48:21.000 That's true.
02:48:22.000 It's just the food industry is what's fucked.
02:48:26.000 You know, if you buy sustainable beef from a grass-fed rancher who takes care of his cows and treats them well, and then they have one bad moment in their whole life, and this is the sort of agreement that you...
02:48:38.000 Yeah.
02:48:38.000 They go out like Pesci in Goodfellas.
02:48:39.000 Quick.
02:48:40.000 They barely see it coming.
02:48:41.000 Well, they don't even see it coming at all.
02:48:43.000 They put that bolt to their head.
02:48:44.000 Yeah.
02:48:44.000 And they just instantly brain them.
02:48:46.000 Yeah.
02:48:46.000 The one that No Country for Old Men, Javier...
02:48:48.000 Javier Bardem.
02:48:49.000 Oh, my God, that guy's a monster.
02:48:51.000 Great fucking movie.
02:48:51.000 He's the best.
02:48:52.000 He's one of the best serial killers in a movie ever.
02:48:55.000 The Cone brothers just fucking rule.
02:48:57.000 They rule.
02:48:57.000 They fucking...
02:48:58.000 They fucking rule.
02:48:59.000 We're like, we don't deserve them.
02:49:00.000 I mean, dude, I... Oh, brother, where art thou?
02:49:02.000 Fuck, that's a good movie.
02:49:04.000 Do you ever hear the story that Clooney, like, that scene where he sings, he thought he nailed it?
02:49:08.000 And they're so polite.
02:49:09.000 They're like, we're going to go with an audio thing where, like, you don't...
02:49:13.000 And he's like, oh, man.
02:49:14.000 But I was like, man, Clooney is like...
02:49:16.000 He's like R. Cary Grant, where he can be, like, silly, but he's also, like, kind of like a hot guy.
02:49:21.000 Right, right.
02:49:22.000 Clooney just fucking...
02:49:23.000 Oh, that's a great fucking movie.
02:49:24.000 Fargo is one of my all-time...
02:49:26.000 John Turturro.
02:49:28.000 Goddamn.
02:49:28.000 And that dude...
02:49:29.000 Tim Blake Nelson.
02:49:30.000 Tim Blake Nelson is this new movie, Old Henry.
02:49:32.000 Have you seen Old Henry?
02:49:33.000 I heard it's incredible.
02:49:34.000 It's fucking great.
02:49:35.000 There's a new movement for Western-type movies.
02:49:38.000 They're bringing the Western back, which I think is cool.
02:49:40.000 That one's legit.
02:49:41.000 I'm gonna watch it.
02:49:43.000 Norman actually was raving about that one.
02:49:44.000 I gotta watch it.
02:49:45.000 It's really good.
02:49:45.000 Dude, the Coen Brothers...
02:49:46.000 Fargo is like one of the best movies of all time, I think.
02:49:49.000 It really is.
02:49:49.000 That's a masterpiece.
02:49:50.000 It's a masterpiece.
02:49:51.000 That's like a modern...
02:49:52.000 I mean, fucking Steve Boucher.
02:49:53.000 That's old Henry.
02:49:54.000 Oh, damn.
02:49:54.000 Look at him.
02:49:55.000 It's fucking good, dude.
02:49:56.000 It's a good movie.
02:49:58.000 A good Western's tough to beat.
02:49:59.000 Oh, I love them.
02:50:00.000 They're so American.
02:50:01.000 Yeah, it's so American.
02:50:03.000 It's such a brief moment in history, too.
02:50:05.000 If you think about the time period that people, like, traveled to the West and all that lawlessness was going on, you're not dealing with more than 100 years.
02:50:13.000 I know, but that's, like, that was, like, their Marvel movies.
02:50:16.000 Yeah.
02:50:16.000 Of, like, the 60s and 70s, or, like, I guess 40s through whatever, like, my darling Clementine through, like, fucking Unforgiven, I guess, you know, like.
02:50:23.000 If you want to read about it in this state, there's a fucking amazing book called Empire of the Summer Moon.
02:50:28.000 It's all about the Comanches.
02:50:30.000 I've heard of this.
02:50:30.000 Yeah.
02:50:31.000 The Comanches were the—that was the big border to penetrating to the rest of the West.
02:50:38.000 Yeah.
02:50:38.000 It was getting through the Comanches in Texas.
02:50:40.000 Nobody wanted to do it.
02:50:42.000 So what they started doing was giving people land.
02:50:45.000 They'd give people land in Oklahoma.
02:50:47.000 Like, hey, have all this land.
02:50:48.000 And what they were basically doing was putting bait out.
02:50:51.000 And then the Comanches would attack those people and kill them.
02:50:54.000 And then they would get the soldiers to come in and attack the Comanches.
02:50:57.000 And they would make war.
02:50:58.000 And they were trying to control this one tribe that they couldn't control.
02:51:02.000 And for fucking 200 years, they dominated.
02:51:06.000 All of the Southwest.
02:51:07.000 Damn.
02:51:08.000 They were just the first ones to really figure out horseback riding.
02:51:11.000 And horseback riding and raising horses.
02:51:14.000 They knew how to geld their stallions.
02:51:16.000 They knew how to raise horses correctly and ride them.
02:51:19.000 And so they figured out how to do archery from horseback.
02:51:23.000 Crazy.
02:51:23.000 The balance.
02:51:24.000 Imagine the balance alone.
02:51:26.000 They would carry their arrows in between their fingers and just go one, two, three, four.
02:51:29.000 And these other people had muskets.
02:51:31.000 And so they're trying to like pack these muskets.
02:51:33.000 So they were murdering everybody.
02:51:34.000 So no one can cross.
02:51:36.000 They couldn't get through this part of the world.
02:51:37.000 So they ran, especially like right here where we are.
02:51:41.000 They find arrowheads all over the place out here.
02:51:44.000 All these people that have ranches out here, they all find arrowheads.
02:51:47.000 It's so funny what it was and what it became.
02:51:49.000 I think about the Alamo.
02:51:51.000 The madness that went down here and now it's just like a fat dude in a fanny pack.
02:51:54.000 This is crazy.
02:51:56.000 New balance is on.
02:51:58.000 Walking around the Alamo.
02:51:59.000 It is crazy.
02:52:00.000 It's crazy because you'd think this was not that long ago.
02:52:04.000 I know.
02:52:04.000 If you go to Europe, you can go to a bar that's a thousand years old.
02:52:08.000 This is crazy.
02:52:09.000 So cool.
02:52:09.000 People were drinking here a thousand years ago.
02:52:11.000 If you're here...
02:52:13.000 A couple hundred years ago, there was a wild tribe on horseback running shit right here while Paris is being built and while London is this beautiful city of splendor.
02:52:27.000 Right here, Comanches.
02:52:30.000 It's crazy.
02:52:31.000 Yeah, we're not that old a country.
02:52:32.000 I mean, people don't think...
02:52:33.000 It's pretty crazy.
02:52:34.000 We're so young, dude.
02:52:35.000 Yeah.
02:52:36.000 We're so young.
02:52:36.000 And this particular area is just, like, soaked with this weird, wild history of chaos.
02:52:43.000 Of violent history.
02:52:44.000 Violence.
02:52:44.000 Yeah.
02:52:45.000 So much violence in this part of the world.
02:52:47.000 This was, like, to get across this country and to establish cities everywhere, it had to be violence.
02:52:52.000 Yeah.
02:52:53.000 This is like so much violence involved in the creation of this country.
02:52:56.000 But now we get Taco Truck, so it's kind of worth it, you know?
02:52:59.000 I guess.
02:52:59.000 It's kind of cool.
02:53:00.000 I guess.
02:53:03.000 I mean, I wouldn't want to go back to that.
02:53:05.000 No.
02:53:05.000 What, do you want to be in a wagon?
02:53:07.000 Fucking hoping that you get through the trail before they find you?
02:53:10.000 I know I'm one of, if it's a movie, I'm one of the first to go.
02:53:13.000 No question.
02:53:14.000 I'm one of the dudes who's like, yeah, I'm that dude.
02:53:17.000 I feel like you'd survive for a while.
02:53:20.000 Scene one, I'm the dude that's fucking out.
02:53:22.000 They're gonna get you.
02:53:23.000 You know what the Comanches would do?
02:53:24.000 They would, in the middle of the night, they would cut your horses loose.
02:53:27.000 Shit.
02:53:28.000 And they would scare them off, and they'd start yeeping and hollering and shooting guns off, and the horses would run away, and then you'd be stuck in the desert with no horses.
02:53:35.000 And they would follow you for days and watch you just die slowly.
02:53:39.000 They would just follow you, like, just far enough so they could watch.
02:53:44.000 And they just follow you for days where you wandered around trying to find something to eat, trying to get water.
02:53:48.000 You can't even get like a Luna bar or nothing.
02:53:50.000 You can't get shit.
02:53:51.000 Just fucking dying.
02:53:51.000 There's nothing out here, bro.
02:53:52.000 Nothing.
02:53:52.000 Just planes.
02:53:53.000 You're dead.
02:53:53.000 If you go to like some parts of Texas, it's just flat and dry forever.
02:53:57.000 Imagine you're walking that and there's the Comanches from like six or seven hundred yards away.
02:54:03.000 You see them on the top of a ridge watching you die slowly.
02:54:06.000 Not good.
02:54:07.000 They tortured people too.
02:54:09.000 Nobody would ever surrender because they...
02:54:13.000 Assumed that you would torture them.
02:54:15.000 So like they didn't have surrender.
02:54:17.000 It wasn't like the British like okay you got us.
02:54:19.000 There's none of that.
02:54:20.000 You fought to the death because if you lived they did the most horrific shit possible.
02:54:27.000 And the guy who wrote that book did a fantastic job of explaining some of the methods of torture that they used to use.
02:54:32.000 They used to cut people's arms and legs off and then throw them on the fire while they were still alive.
02:54:37.000 So they'd just hack their arms off, hack their legs off, and then throw them on the fire.
02:54:41.000 And watch them wiggle around there, and they would laugh.
02:54:43.000 Fuck.
02:54:44.000 They would eat them.
02:54:45.000 They'd eat pieces of them.
02:54:46.000 Lower bar for entertainment back then.
02:54:47.000 Man, some wild shit happened with Native American tribes.
02:54:50.000 And they did it to each other, too.
02:54:52.000 Yeah.
02:54:52.000 It wasn't just like they all got along until we came.
02:54:54.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
02:54:56.000 They were constantly raiding.
02:54:58.000 It's so common to hate your neighbor.
02:55:00.000 Isn't it?
02:55:01.000 You're just like, I'm from New York, you're in Boston.
02:55:04.000 Boo!
02:55:04.000 Yeah, boo, fuck you.
02:55:05.000 I took an Amtrak.
02:55:06.000 It's not that far.
02:55:07.000 You know, like, you hate me?
02:55:09.000 Tribalism.
02:55:10.000 Yeah, sure.
02:55:10.000 It's one of the worst aspects of a community.
02:55:14.000 Tribalism.
02:55:15.000 Texas versus Texas A&M? Yeah.
02:55:18.000 It's everywhere.
02:55:19.000 Texas versus the world here.
02:55:21.000 Yeah.
02:55:21.000 There's t-shirts that says Texas versus all y'all.
02:55:24.000 It's a little mush.
02:55:25.000 I was in Nashville and there was a shirt I saw that was a flag.
02:55:29.000 I said, if this flag pisses you off, then get the fuck out.
02:55:33.000 And I'm like, are you running into a lot of pushback in Nashville with that shirt?
02:55:37.000 You might be alright.
02:55:38.000 Yeah, you're preaching to the choir there, bro.
02:55:40.000 I don't think anyone's really pissed off.
02:55:42.000 That's just like a right wing virtue signal.
02:55:45.000 That's all that is.
02:55:46.000 Same thing.
02:55:47.000 It's a virtue signal.
02:55:48.000 They virtue signal on both sides, I would say.
02:55:51.000 Yeah, but I mean like...
02:55:52.000 Everyone's annoying at the end of the day.
02:55:54.000 But wearing that, like if this flag pisses you off, like are you trying to find people that are pissed off at you?
02:55:58.000 Yes, you're trying to fight people.
02:56:00.000 That is literally, that is like a mating call for let me kick your ass.
02:56:03.000 That is being like, and like literally everyone's like, I like the country.
02:56:08.000 It's a weird thing with some people that the flag became bad.
02:56:11.000 The flag represents evil.
02:56:13.000 The American flag represents the evil empire of the military industrial complex and unchecked capitalism and cruelty and greed and fuck you.
02:56:22.000 Fuck you if you support America.
02:56:24.000 That's so crazy.
02:56:25.000 I support America, but it does feel aggressive when someone just texts me an American flag emoji.
02:56:30.000 I'm like, what is that?
02:56:31.000 That's what you're getting from me from now on.
02:56:35.000 Every fucking text I send for you from now on.
02:56:38.000 I'm excited.
02:56:39.000 I'm excited to get it.
02:56:43.000 It is weird, right?
02:56:45.000 Because it's one of the things that, like, there's that really gullible, like, narrow-minded right-wing caricature.
02:56:55.000 Sure.
02:56:56.000 You know, that we all, like, the people with the fucking Trump flags and, get the fuck out of my country!
02:57:02.000 Those type of people, right?
02:57:03.000 Those are real humans.
02:57:05.000 They really do exist.
02:57:06.000 And if you give them a thing, like a flag, and they use that flag all the time, then everybody else wants to use the flag.
02:57:12.000 No, I think the flag is like, look at all these fucking cool, creative people that came out of this one place that was an experiment in self-government, and yeah, it's not perfect, but it's better than anywhere else.
02:57:22.000 And we're a community here, and we should think about each other as a community here.
02:57:25.000 No.
02:57:26.000 But you're attached to this guy.
02:57:28.000 And this guy's like, if you ain't white, you ain't right.
02:57:33.000 I'm like, you might have taken it too far.
02:57:35.000 But he's also got American flags and he likes Confederate flags.
02:57:40.000 It's a sign of respect for the South.
02:57:43.000 Those guys, they're connected with that American flag too.
02:57:46.000 Yeah.
02:57:47.000 Unfortunately.
02:57:48.000 Let go of the Confederate flag.
02:57:50.000 Look, I'm a Knicks fan.
02:57:50.000 I also stubbornly support losers, but let's take it back a notch.
02:57:55.000 I do think it's like, you know, the Trump stuff.
02:57:56.000 I was just reading a thing about how he's a malignant narcissist, which is that he- No way.
02:58:01.000 Trump is not- You think so?
02:58:03.000 Trump is not a narcissist?
02:58:04.000 Really?
02:58:07.000 You fucking believe me.
02:58:08.000 I've heard it.
02:58:08.000 I know for a second.
02:58:09.000 You believe me.
02:58:10.000 I can't tell.
02:58:11.000 That's amazing.
02:58:12.000 I know.
02:58:13.000 You're a good actor.
02:58:14.000 Dude, NewsRadio, you're a good actor.
02:58:15.000 It's been a while.
02:58:16.000 Dude, but I was like, I don't even know what a malignant narcissist is.
02:58:21.000 And I was reading about it and I was like, oh, you only like people who like you.
02:58:25.000 And I was like, yeah, that sounds like every entertainer I've ever met.
02:58:29.000 We're all malignant narcissists.
02:58:31.000 Yeah, what do you, like people who don't like you?
02:58:33.000 That sounds weird.
02:58:34.000 I mean, like, in relationships, sure, but not in my friendships, you know?
02:58:38.000 Who was it that explained to us the different types of narcissists?
02:58:41.000 There was some, one of our guests, explained that there's two different kinds of narcissists, and they were trying to classify it.
02:58:49.000 Was it Sergura?
02:58:51.000 Was it Tom?
02:58:52.000 But they were trying to explain, like, the kind of narcissism.
02:58:56.000 There's different kinds of narcissism.
02:58:58.000 There's even...
02:58:58.000 Keith Campbell breaks down the different...
02:59:01.000 Oh, it's Keith Campbell.
02:59:02.000 That's what it is.
02:59:04.000 Oh, that was...
02:59:05.000 This was one, and then there was another one that was more recently.
02:59:10.000 What's he saying?
02:59:11.000 Give him a run.
02:59:14.000 Let's hear what he says.
02:59:16.000 Killing stuff or steals extra food.
02:59:18.000 People don't like that.
02:59:19.000 They'll just kill them.
02:59:20.000 I mean, they'll just go have a hunting accident.
02:59:22.000 If you're kind of the dick in the hunter-gatherer society, they'll take you out and you just won't come back because they just don't want you.
02:59:30.000 So narcissism gets weeded out in those places.
02:59:35.000 But when things get unstable and things are uncertain, people who are narcissistic can get a lot of resources and do really well.
02:59:42.000 So sometimes they do well, which keeps it around.
02:59:45.000 And obviously in big societies, you can become powerful enough to hire henchmen and hire a PR agent, and you can kind of build your own status and do a lot more than you can in the hunter-gatherer group where everyone knows you.
02:59:57.000 What is narcissism when you define it?
02:59:59.000 What is your definition of narcissism?
03:00:01.000 So it gets a little more complicated.
03:00:03.000 When we're talking like this, I'm talking about grandiose narcissism, and that's a basic trait.
03:00:08.000 There's more than one kind of narcissism.
03:00:11.000 I'll step back.
03:00:12.000 So when we talk about narcissism in the psychological literature, we're talking about three different things that are related.
03:00:20.000 The first of these is narcissistic personality, and this is a trait, meaning that people go from a high level to a low level.
03:00:30.000 It's not a clinical disorder.
03:00:32.000 And then this trait when it's grandiose, we say grandiose narcissism, it's this combination of sense of entitlement and the sense of superiority, but also you get extroversion and drive and ambition, call it agentic extroversion.
03:00:46.000 So somebody who is driven And extroverted, but also a little bit self-centered and antagonistic and entitled.
03:00:55.000 So that combination of traits, kind of a prima donna or overconfident or cocky or whatever you want to call it, that's what we talk about is grandiose narcissism.
03:01:08.000 And that's just, like I said, a normal trait.
03:01:12.000 There's another form of narcissism which we don't talk about as much in the normal world, but that's vulnerable narcissism.
03:01:17.000 And these are the folks that kind of think they're really important, think they should be getting a lot of attention, think they're the smartest people in the room, but no one really looks at them, no one pays attention to them.
03:01:26.000 So they get insecure, they get depressed, their self-esteem drops, they think, you know, why aren't I getting the attention I deserved?
03:01:32.000 I'm kind of a legend.
03:01:35.000 You know, it's a legend in their own minds.
03:01:37.000 You know, it's like basement narcissists, you know, living in their mom's basement thinking how great they are and fantasizing about it.
03:01:44.000 And those more vulnerable folks, you don't see at the bars as much because they're in the basement, but you see them clinically because they're depressed and they go see a clinician and say, help me out, I'm anxious.
03:01:55.000 So those are the two normal forms of narcissism, their traits.
03:01:58.000 And then there's this clinical form, or psychiatric form, called narcissistic personality disorder, NPD. And that personality disorder form of narcissism is an extreme form of narcissism.
03:02:12.000 You have a high level of it, you know, like Trump or, you know, a lot of pale celebrities or, you know, academics.
03:02:18.000 But you also, to make it a clinical disorder, you have to have that impairment we're talking about.
03:02:23.000 So it has to be clinically significant impairment.
03:02:25.000 And that's usually the narcissism is so bad, your marriage or your relationships are falling apart.
03:02:32.000 Your work life could be falling apart.
03:02:34.000 So sometimes you find narcissistic, really successful people in offices who are narcissists, but they kind of destroy the office culture.
03:02:42.000 They're just bad workers.
03:02:45.000 And so you can destroy that.
03:02:47.000 You can make really poor decisions because your ego is so big.
03:02:50.000 You just over-invest in something and it just doesn't work out for you.
03:02:54.000 So you start dysregulating your financial decisions so you can make those kind of mistakes.
03:03:00.000 The big ones are usually interpersonal.
03:03:02.000 But when you have that kind of impairment, it can be a disorder and then you get treated for it.
03:03:06.000 The vulnerable personality disorder is fascinating.
03:03:09.000 Yeah.
03:03:09.000 That's a fascinating one.
03:03:12.000 This is weird.
03:03:12.000 I'm hearing me doing...
03:03:14.000 I think we got it.
03:03:15.000 Yeah, well, that was very well spoken.
03:03:17.000 He's a real doctor.
03:03:18.000 I mean, that's like most people we know.
03:03:22.000 I mean, clinical, that's maybe a little far for most people we know.
03:03:25.000 The vulnerable one's the one that irks me the most.
03:03:27.000 Oh my God, the incels.
03:03:29.000 The dudes who are jacking off too much, who are living in their mom's basement, who are calling people ugly on Twitter.
03:03:36.000 I'm like, chill out, dude.
03:03:37.000 Take a fucking break.
03:03:39.000 Love yourself.
03:03:40.000 It's hard.
03:03:41.000 What do you do if you're an incel?
03:03:43.000 Imagine you're a counselor.
03:03:45.000 You shave the middle of your eyebrow like I did.
03:03:46.000 That's all you have to do.
03:03:47.000 That's what you do.
03:03:48.000 And you're out.
03:03:49.000 Just laser it so you don't have to shave it anymore.
03:03:52.000 That way you don't forget.
03:03:53.000 I should, yeah.
03:03:54.000 If you're an incel, what kind of advice would anyone give to an incel that would work?
03:03:58.000 Like if you have terrible genetics and fucked up life experience.
03:04:01.000 Join a dodgeball league or some fucking...
03:04:02.000 Even if you suck, you'll make friends.
03:04:04.000 Just get out of the fucking house.
03:04:05.000 Yeah, but incel is involuntary celibate.
03:04:08.000 Sure.
03:04:08.000 Just getting out of the house is not going to get you laid.
03:04:10.000 That's true, but you make friends and you're cool enough, you'll get laid based on your personality.
03:04:15.000 If you have a good enough personality, women will fuck you at a certain point.
03:04:18.000 Women can look past shit that we can't.
03:04:20.000 What about, but dudes have terrible personalities that are incels?
03:04:23.000 That's part of the problem.
03:04:23.000 Work on it.
03:04:24.000 You can work on your personality.
03:04:25.000 Yeah, I think so.
03:04:26.000 What kind of advice would you give an incel?
03:04:28.000 Just fucking put your dick down for a second.
03:04:31.000 Read the book Joe said about the West.
03:04:33.000 Bring it up at cocktail parties.
03:04:35.000 I don't know.
03:04:36.000 No, just fucking get out there.
03:04:38.000 You can do it.
03:04:39.000 I think you can do it.
03:04:40.000 I think it's tough, but you can do it.
03:04:43.000 Don't you think?
03:04:44.000 You think you're just destined to a life of jacking off in a basement?
03:04:47.000 I think there's more out there for them.
03:04:49.000 I think become good at something.
03:04:50.000 I think you have to deal with each individual case on an individual basis.
03:04:54.000 That's true.
03:04:55.000 I think some people are kind of doomed.
03:04:58.000 Mm-hmm.
03:04:59.000 You know, they just got the worst case of all the bad luck, you know, and a lot of bad life experiences, and they don't have the tools to get out of it, and then they're stuck in an environment where everyone around them is also negative and fucked up.
03:05:15.000 Yeah.
03:05:15.000 And they don't have any examples of anybody around them that they could follow that sort of...
03:05:20.000 Yeah, that's a big part of being a person.
03:05:22.000 Who the fuck are you around?
03:05:23.000 It's very hard to be positive if everyone around you is negative.
03:05:26.000 It's very hard to be ambitious.
03:05:27.000 But you also might be attracting those people with your personality if you're so negative.
03:05:31.000 Sure, but you might have grew up that way.
03:05:32.000 The problem is the people that are stuck.
03:05:34.000 They're in the same town where they grew up and they grew up in this negative way.
03:05:38.000 For sure.
03:05:38.000 Yeah.
03:05:39.000 It's just...
03:05:40.000 I mean, that's why, like, good role models, man.
03:05:42.000 You need them.
03:05:43.000 Be a good role model to someone.
03:05:44.000 You see someone flailing a little bit, you could help them out, so.
03:05:47.000 That's true.
03:05:48.000 You saw me with my neck earlier, and you fucking helped me out, so I appreciate it.
03:05:52.000 I wish I helped you out before you got it operated on.
03:05:54.000 I know, I stink.
03:05:55.000 There's stem cell clinics that can really help you.
03:05:58.000 I'm fucking stupid, yeah.
03:05:59.000 Tony Hinchcliffe was ready to get an operation.
03:06:01.000 Really?
03:06:01.000 He got stem cells injected in his neck, and now it's 100%.
03:06:04.000 It doesn't bother him at all anymore.
03:06:05.000 It would be so bad with him that he couldn't sit down when he was doing Kill Tony.
03:06:10.000 He would have to, like, lean up on one leg because he had to kind of keep his neck straight.
03:06:15.000 Like, if he just hung there like that, it would just be excruciating pain.
03:06:18.000 Damn.
03:06:18.000 And he was thinking, fuck, I'm going to have to get it operated on.
03:06:21.000 Got stem cells?
03:06:22.000 I just don't want to ever get an operation because I don't want to take time off the road.
03:06:25.000 I like that lifestyle.
03:06:26.000 How much time did you have to take off?
03:06:27.000 I didn't take any off.
03:06:28.000 I was just in horrible pain on the road every week.
03:06:31.000 It's been a while, but you just learn to live with the pain.
03:06:36.000 Did you take any anti-inflammatories or anything for it?
03:06:39.000 I was, you know, muscle relaxers here and there, but the problem is I like to drink and that shit stays in your system, so I don't, I would, you know, I've had a few drinks and I feel pretty good right now, and you learn to just kind of live with it, I think.
03:06:51.000 Just deal with it.
03:06:52.000 Yeah, you just kind of learn to live with a little bit of pain.
03:06:54.000 How did it get hurt initially?
03:06:56.000 I would play a lot of basketball.
03:06:57.000 I'm sure that jerked it out.
03:06:58.000 I also probably didn't do enough weights, and I just would always play ball in the park.
03:07:03.000 And I think at a certain point, 6'3", my weight, you're going to jerk something out.
03:07:07.000 But I love basketball.
03:07:09.000 It's just the best.
03:07:11.000 Do you play a lot now?
03:07:12.000 I'll get back to it at a certain point.
03:07:15.000 I just started a podcast with Julian Edelman from the Patriots, and it's so humiliating changing next to him when we're doing episodes.
03:07:23.000 We're literally changing next to each other.
03:07:25.000 I'm like, this dude's triceps have triceps, and I'm in my underwear next to him.
03:07:31.000 Like, wow, that's a real wake-up call about your body when you're next to, like, a patriot legend.
03:07:36.000 Yeah, no kidding.
03:07:37.000 That's a fucking huge human.
03:07:39.000 Oh, dude, he's such a bad...
03:07:40.000 He's only Jewish Super Bowl MVP, by the way.
03:07:43.000 Really?
03:07:43.000 Badass.
03:07:44.000 Yeah, I mean, he's a fucking beast, and he's the best dude.
03:07:47.000 I mean, just, like, the nicest guy.
03:07:49.000 How many podcasts are you doing now?
03:07:51.000 I do one with Mark Norman.
03:07:52.000 We might be drunk.
03:07:53.000 Well, we get drunk a lot.
03:07:55.000 And then I do this one with Julian.
03:07:57.000 This is brand new called Games With Names.
03:07:58.000 And we recap the greatest sports games in history.
03:08:02.000 And the first episode is Eli Manning and Teddy Bruschi from the Giants versus Patriots.
03:08:07.000 He's getting a lot of shit for doing the Patriot loss is the first episode But then we had like Adrian Peterson and Jared Zebranski for the second one Fiesta Bowl like the guests are fucking insane.
03:08:17.000 Oh, that's awesome.
03:08:18.000 Yeah, it's so fun It's just like if you're a sports fan, you'll love it.
03:08:21.000 It's got Paul Pierce I think episode for a lot of great athletes like I love I love sports.
03:08:27.000 So, you know, that's awesome So you do just those two?
03:08:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
03:08:31.000 Did you have another one before?
03:08:33.000 I had a basketball one with Stavros, who's like one of my best friends.
03:08:36.000 Still one of my best friends.
03:08:37.000 Stavros is the funniest human being maybe I know, like insanely funny.
03:08:42.000 That's awesome.
03:08:43.000 His new YouTube special is incredible.
03:08:46.000 I haven't seen it.
03:08:46.000 I've heard good things about him, but I haven't seen any of his acts.
03:08:49.000 He's a beast.
03:08:49.000 I keep hearing good things, though.
03:08:51.000 He makes me laugh so fucking hard.
03:08:53.000 He's a character.
03:08:54.000 He's one of one, man.
03:08:55.000 I went to his apartment recently.
03:08:57.000 He's just on his terrace cooking me up like calamari.
03:09:01.000 He's such a Greek man.
03:09:02.000 He's just the best, dude.
03:09:05.000 I love him.
03:09:06.000 We were both overworking ourselves.
03:09:08.000 We need a break, but we'll start up again at some point, maybe.
03:09:12.000 I just love that guy.
03:09:14.000 Yeah, it's hard when you start doing a lot of them, too, and then you have to coordinate with other people's schedules.
03:09:18.000 So hard.
03:09:18.000 Yeah, like Theo does three or four different podcasts, and he's just always moving around, and it's like, man, it's a lot.
03:09:25.000 Well, the one with Julian, we can do 12 in two weeks, and then I'm out for a while, so that's why it's perfect for me.
03:09:31.000 But yeah, the other ones where you're like, hey, we need two this week, I'm like...
03:09:34.000 Oh, fuck.
03:09:35.000 I got a thing.
03:09:36.000 I'm on the road.
03:09:37.000 I'm in Cleveland or whatever.
03:09:39.000 Mark Norman's in Pittsburgh.
03:09:41.000 We're like trying to court and we're like, fuck.
03:09:43.000 Those are hard for sure.
03:09:44.000 And when you guys do it, do you do audio and video?
03:09:47.000 Yeah.
03:09:47.000 We only do episodes in studio, but occasionally on the road we'll do a Patreon or something.
03:09:53.000 We'll just shoot the shit from our weird hotel rooms, and I'm like, I can see where Mark is.
03:09:58.000 I see his L-shaped couch on the road, and we're just shooting the shit.
03:10:03.000 But our studio is awesome.
03:10:05.000 We do...
03:10:08.000 We have a full bar, so we have bartenders.
03:10:11.000 We have a bartender in studio.
03:10:12.000 We call him the Beer Jew.
03:10:13.000 He looks like Eli Roth in Glorious Bastards.
03:10:18.000 He just makes us cocktails we've never heard of.
03:10:21.000 It'll be like Corpse Reviver No.
03:10:23.000 4, some weird prohibition, so we learn about a drink we've never had.
03:10:26.000 And we get fucked up.
03:10:28.000 It's fun as hell.
03:10:29.000 We just had Bill Burr on.
03:10:30.000 He was so good.
03:10:31.000 The guests are amazing, man.
03:10:33.000 If you're ever in New York City and you want to have a drink with us, it's fun.
03:10:36.000 That sounds like fun.
03:10:37.000 I'll do it.
03:10:37.000 It's a good time.
03:10:38.000 All right, man.
03:10:38.000 Well, thanks for being here.
03:10:39.000 It was a lot of fucking fun.
03:10:40.000 It was really great to finally meet you.
03:10:41.000 It's great talking to you, man.
03:10:42.000 Yeah, great talking to you, too.
03:10:43.000 And I love what you're doing.
03:10:44.000 I love how much content you put out there.
03:10:46.000 I love that you're so into stand-up.
03:10:48.000 It's just great.
03:10:49.000 I love it.
03:10:49.000 You too, man.
03:10:50.000 Thank you.
03:10:50.000 Funny motherfucker.
03:10:51.000 I appreciate you.
03:10:52.000 And tell everybody what's your Instagram handles and all that stuff.
03:10:56.000 My Instagram is just Sam Morrell, S-A-M-M-O-R-R-I-L, and the special Same Time Tomorrow.
03:11:02.000 It's on Netflix right now, and thank you so much.
03:11:05.000 Thank you.
03:11:06.000 All right.
03:11:06.000 Bye, everybody.