Comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan joins Jemele to talk about his time in LA, how he got into comedy, and why TikTok is the worst thing since TikTok. Also, we talk about how the internet has changed the way we live our lives and why we should all be thankful for it. Joe also talks about why he thinks TikTok should be nerded out and why he doesn t like the way TikTok works. We also talk about what it's like being a comedian in the big city and why it's a good idea to not be on social media as much as we are now. And, of course, there's a lot more! We hope you enjoy this episode, it was a lot of fun and we hope you have a great rest of the week. Cheers! -Joe Rogan Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The 500 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Hosted and produced by Riley Bray. Art by Chase Gray. If you like what you hear on the pod, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you re listening. Thanks for listening and share the podcast! We really appreciate it! Timestamps: 5:30 - What's up? 6:00 - What do you think of TikTok? 7:40 - How do you like TikTok's algorithm? 8:20 - What s your favorite thing? 9:15 - Why TikTokTok is better than TikTok or Tik Tok? 10: What's your favorite meal? 11:00 13:00- What is your favorite food? 16:30- What's the best thing you veezer? 17:15- What are you would like to see me eat? 18:40- What kind of food do you would you like to hear me eat in a restaurant? 19:20- What s a little bit more? 21:00 + 20: What s the best place to eat in the next episode? 22:00? 27:00 -- How do I have the most important thing you re most comfortable? 26:30 -- what s your biggest meal of the day? 25:00 & 27:20 -- what do you want me to eat for dinner?
00:03:31.000And they were talking about how TikTok is essentially engineered to keep us engaged and also accentuate all of our disagreements and arguments.
00:03:42.000And make America look like a real shithole.
00:03:44.000I didn't even think about the disagreements.
00:03:46.000Because my feed is like, they've completely got me.
00:03:49.000It's like fucking just a nice sandwich.
00:03:52.000And I'm trying to get fucking jacked these days.
00:03:54.000So it's like just fat guys' weight loss journeys.
00:05:50.000If you've seen that picture, it's a meme, the type of men who wear masks in their car, and it is a woman holding a guy up while they make out, and the guy's got his legs wrapped around the woman.
00:06:47.000I was going down on her, and I had like- Giant thighs just wrapped around my head to the point where I was started to no joke I'm not exaggerating just blackout like I started seeing spots and I was like if I don't make her come I'm going to die and there was like a fucking thrill to that there was like it felt like Indiana Jones sliding under the fucking thing with the You know what I mean?
00:07:08.000I was like, I have moments to make this woman bust before I lose consciousness.
00:07:53.000I'm ready to have a good three months until I slip off my diet and they're like, I found fucking oatmeal cream pies wrappers in the garbage.
00:08:03.000I'm like, I don't know what to tell you, babe.
00:08:05.000Somebody must have broken in and had fucking a dove bar because it wasn't me.
00:12:55.000Two little guys with one arm over her head.
00:12:57.000And that's the thing, no one could, you weren't allowed to jack off to stuff, you know, plainly, this couldn't be a sex thing, but this was 100% a sex thing back then.
00:13:05.000Look at the size of her, and she's holding three guys on her arms.
00:15:20.000So the running back, I'm blanking on his name, but literally the trainers, he was like, hey, should I lift weights like the defensive, you know, like the linemen?
00:15:29.000And they were like, no, that'll slow you down.
00:15:31.000Like they literally had no one, this is in the 70s, the NFL. That was with boxing too.
00:15:37.000In the boxing era, like of like Marvin Hagler and Sugar Ray Leonard, it was like commonly thought that if you lifted weights, it would slow you down.
00:16:47.000And then he would go and have a gas tank that was off the charts.
00:16:51.000When you got a guy who's already as talented as BJ with zero fear of getting tired, he was the GOAT. There was a fight that I'd If you ever want to see, it'd be Khabib Nurmagomedov in his prime versus B.J. Penn in those years in the Marinovich years.
00:17:14.000My little brothers are much more into UFC shit, but the Penn era, I was in there a little bit.
00:17:19.000We'd go to Buffalo Wild Wings at White Marsh Mall, me and my brothers, and we would watch UFC shit, but that's the last, you know, that's my last, you know, frame of reference.
00:18:26.000I guess you're right than combat sports.
00:18:27.000Yeah combat sports when guys don't want to do it anymore They gotta stop because there's a like a one foot in one foot out thing that happens and you just get your shit And then some young guy comes up and or young gal comes up and he or she fucks you up And that's just how it goes these kids that are coming up.
00:18:42.000They they're fucking unburdened by life Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:17.000If he just maximized his insane potential and was like a Marvin Hagler type guy who just did nothing but train and trained in solitude and yet only had his eyes on the prize, only had his eyes on beating the best in the world.
00:20:46.000He's your creative character and it's like, but the same guy who had that kind of power, he needed to, he needed to fucking ask the housekeeper to suck him off.
00:23:05.000And there's so many stories of people that...
00:23:07.000Get what they want and I mean Tyson is a pretty good example where it's like it wasn't he was still Mike Tyson but it is he was never he never reached those heights and it completely fucked his personal life up obviously obviously and so that's the thing where it's like you got to think like there's got to be a balance the thing about combat sports though that is really fascinating to me is I think it ignites in us that same weird instinct to conquer but it does so in like an agreed upon manner instead of doing so through war It's
00:23:39.000How many of these guys who would be dominant MMA fighters, if they were living five, six hundred years ago, they would be dominant warriors?
00:24:31.000It's like physical combat with no weapons, but your own body, use that as a weapon, and then see who knows how to do that better, and you do it in front of the world.
00:24:41.000Yeah, I mean, that is the ancient shit of single combat, right?
00:25:14.000And these people, like, they got eliminated, but Japan and Korea, if they had won, they would have played each other in the fucking World Cup, and it's like, Korea would have fucked Japan.
00:25:34.000It's like, there is, it's just so, there is something fucking awesome about, and whenever, whenever, like, a third world country plays America, you don't think they want to fuck America up?
00:30:44.000Like, if you're in a cult, if you're in a religion, when the dude shows up dressed like a wizard, you should go, hey, is this on the level?
00:32:50.000I can't believe any, like, I don't mean to sound like hack college, you know, freshman year of college atheist shit here, but it's like, they do that.
00:33:00.000How do you go to a fucking church every week when it's like the Pope was just shifting guys around and giving him, not only shifting around, putting him to the most molestable kids.
00:33:43.000I mean, I think if you look at the history of the fucking Catholic Church, they were like, you know, popes were like...
00:33:48.000Poisoning each other and fucking all the time and it's like even the thing where priests can't have kids It's like you look at that.
00:33:55.000It's like were they just trying to not cover benefits like that's my guess my sincere guess is that the Pope at the time was trying to save money and Because it's like, truly, that's really what I think.
00:34:06.000And like, because like the Greek Orthodox Church, not saying, we don't have fucking, no one fucks, I mean, I'm sure a couple guys fuck kids, but it's like, you get to have a wife in the Greek Orthodox Church.
00:34:16.000But the church covers your like family's living expenses and shit.
00:34:20.000And I really think like the Catholic Church was just like, nah, nah, nah.
00:34:24.000I think the origin of it was the priests were like rock stars.
00:34:29.000Because if you think about, if priests could fuck whoever they wanted to...
00:37:19.000We'd be like, we're gonna abolish carpenters.
00:37:21.000Everyone's gonna learn how to build their own house.
00:37:23.000But when things are like a part of society for a long enough time and we grow up with them, we just accept them as being like a normal thing.
00:37:31.000Not that anyone's normalizing abuse, but everybody...
00:37:52.000The Vatican revealed Tuesday that over the past decade has defrocked 848 priests who raped or molested children and sanctioned another 2,572 with lesser penalties.
00:38:06.000Providing the first ever breakdown of how it handled more than 3,400 cases of abuse reported to the Holy See since 2004. See, imagine that with any other business.
00:38:37.000When they asked Bill Burr about that, that clip is the funniest thing where they're like, don't you think you went a little too far with the Catholic Church jokes?
00:38:44.000And he was like, don't you think the Catholic Church went a little too far?
00:39:11.000So gay guys can keep running everything.
00:39:15.000They were probably the ones who figured it out.
00:39:17.000It is like a very, especially back in the day, if you were a gay guy, and I'm not equating, obviously I'm not equating being gay with molesting children, I'm just saying, if you're a gay guy, the other parts of the church are pretty sick.
00:42:14.000But moving to Florida, in particular, and then, again, moving to Boston, I realized a lot of people get real bummed out if their kid's gay.
00:42:22.000And it seemed like this dude was just...
00:43:03.000And I feel, you know, obviously you feel bad if somebody, you know, we don't, we're just speculating here, but if he did get trapped in that kind of shit, that's tough.
00:43:10.000I mean, it's the same reason fucking kids shouldn't, like, why student debt is such a, like, bullshit situation, because it's like, yeah, you have some 17-year-old kid who's like, I want to be a marine biologist, and then he goes, and he's like, oh, I'm actually, I can't do math, I'm a fucking student.
00:44:07.000...of learning in the U.S. have long departed their mission statements.
00:44:10.000They are effectively recession-proof industries set up to bilk the federal government and students while funding a pernicious ideology that is spreading across our higher elite like cancer.
00:44:19.000At the root of it is a rigged financial system.
00:44:23.000These industries beclown themselves because they can.
00:44:28.000But more so, they don't even really need the students to pay anymore.
00:44:31.000It has become increasingly clear in the size of university endowments, which Malcolm Gladwell recently revealed as a scam of epic proportions, focusing his laser on Princeton University.
00:44:41.000Princeton is the world's first perpetual motion machine, Gladwell writes.
00:44:48.000Quote, after a stellar year in 2021, Princeton University has an endowment of $37.7 billion.
00:44:54.000Over the past 20 years, the average annual return for the endowment has been 11.2%, which puts Princeton's return next year at roughly $3.77 billion.
00:45:06.000He continues, now what is Princeton's annual operating budget?
00:45:34.000They could take out the cash registers in their cafeteria.
00:45:37.000They could hand out free parking to all visitors.
00:45:39.000They could give away Princeton sweatshirts on Nassau Street.
00:45:42.000They could fire their entire accounts receivable staff and their entire funding staff tomorrow.
00:45:47.000In fact, his team even put together this handy little chart.
00:45:50.000Princeton has been not just doing this recently, but for nearly two decades.
00:45:55.000On a year-by-year basis, their endowment return, just the return, nearly exactly equals or surpasses the entire operating budget of the whole school, meaning no student would ever need to be charged tuition again.
00:46:10.000Or you could imagine a world where students pay much, much less.
00:46:14.000Also, as you can guess, this is not just the case with Princeton University.
00:46:18.000It's the case with almost every Ivy League institution in this entire country, whose endowments in some cases surpass, and I'm not kidding, the GDP of small African nations.
00:46:28.000With this mountain of wealth, why are they not doing what they were supposed to do?
00:46:32.000They were supposed to spend it on students.
00:46:35.000Instead, they simply reinvest the returns, build an ever-growing pile of cash, giving fees to money managers, all while continuing to raise tuition precipitously, even when you're all giving them this freaking Zoom school.
00:46:48.000Tuition at Princeton right now is $80,000 a year.
00:48:05.000Rich people just kind of like, all their kids go, they can all afford to...
00:48:09.000I know so many dumbasses from Ivy Leagues, but it's like this fake prestige that it's just like, no, my family just had enough money to go.
00:48:16.000And I've had friends, I grew up in Baltimore, and I've had friends who went to like Harvard and shit, and they were like...
00:49:21.000No, you're going to keep that and transfer it to whatever tech job you get.
00:49:26.000The problem with tech places for me is how every tech idea is just like, hey, why don't we just not pay anyone?
00:49:35.000Every single Uber is like, hey, you know how taxi cabs exist?
00:49:40.000What if the driver can't go to the doctor?
00:49:42.000It's like every tech idea is just a thing that exists, but it's not a living wage anymore.
00:49:48.000And some cocksucker who can code gets rich, and the taxi driver and the guy who goes and gets the grocery, they don't get any fucking money.
00:50:13.000And it's all about technology and how far behind America is in terms of military technology and our implementation of the current technology that we have available, like the highest levels like NVIDIA chips and what that's actually been used in the actual military equipment and machines.
00:50:34.000The shit that's available that's at the top of the food chain.
00:50:37.000That's what's so fucking annoying is like, where the fuck are...
00:50:39.000That's what I can't stand about the way America's set up.
00:50:43.000The army gets the money, so how the fuck are we behind?
00:50:47.000This is talking about how those funds, those defense funds, is a lot of what funded Silicon Valley.
00:50:53.000That it all started there working on military intelligence and projects.
00:50:59.000And they dumped tons and tons of money into this stuff.
00:51:03.000And then if you look at what's available now in terms of the top fighter jets and the top You know, all the different equipment that they use that uses computers and they're comparing like computing power with what's available.
00:51:17.000Yeah, and China has been copying everything we do.
00:51:20.000And then the thing with like Huawei, the reason why they banned Huawei in this country, I believe they had discovered that there's a third party access through routers.
00:51:30.000And they'd always suspected something like that.
00:51:33.000Which means that they could just steal your intellectual property.
00:51:35.000So you're over here and you got a billion dollar grant from the government to make some artificial intelligence chip.
00:51:40.000And China's just scooping out your data.
00:52:31.000But yeah, there's a scene where truly this, I don't know, that show is the last, they slid under just in time, but they dress him up in a little kimono and it's like insanely racist, but it's fucking hysterical.
00:52:42.000But yeah, I'll wear, I'll do whatever they want for me.
00:53:11.000I'll do whatever the Chinese empire asks of me.
00:53:15.000Bro, this book is terrifying, because it just talks about how disjointed the American military is, and how these systems aren't communicating with each other well, and it's like, oof.
00:53:25.000And about how, even today, when the pilots are sharing coordinates with different machines and different equipment, they have to, a lot of it, do it over communication.
00:53:41.000I don't want to fuck it up, because I'm obviously not technically aware of how they do everything, but the way this guy's explaining it is terrifying.
00:54:26.000Slams into Greenland and turns everything into fucking nuclear winter for a couple years.
00:54:31.000That would be almost nicer, where it's like we're just going through our day, we're just fucking having a, you know, getting jacked in the gym.
00:56:30.000It's crazy because I've been on a big history kick and I'm reading about like, I was just, you know, I'm on the Trojan War tip a little bit on some Greek.
00:56:56.000I'm also fascinated by medieval times, and you just think about, like...
00:57:00.000All the history that we learn is about like, oh, this king fucked this king up.
00:57:04.000And they always just kind of gloss over like, and you know, the army raided the countryside.
00:57:10.000And it's like, imagine being the fucking assholes on the countryside outside of the city.
00:57:14.000You're outside Athens, you're outside of Troy, whatever.
00:57:17.000You just get fucked, like, every ten years when some asshole, some rich asshole, some guy with water, running water, he gets to fuck, decides he wants to fuck up your town, he just comes through, steals your shit, takes your fucking wife, kills your son, and you just have to,
00:57:32.000like, now you fucking get turnips for him.
01:00:01.000The main ones, there was 12 main gods of Mount Olympus, but it was like, there's demigods and like half, you know, and like, It's lesser gods and there's like hundreds and it's like it's this thing of like that's what I really like is that Greek mythology it's like you know monotheism it's pretty straightforward it's kind of boring you know what I mean it's like there's one God sometimes you know there's three of you know what I mean the Holy Spirit the Jesus all that kind of shit but it's like polytheism is fucking sick because it's like there's just a God of fucking getting fucked
01:00:31.000up It's just a god that's like Dionysus.
01:00:35.000He was the god of having a good-ass time.
01:06:18.000It's one of the greatest videos in the history of the internet.
01:06:20.000Me and Brian Redman were going back and forth, and he was sending me horrible things, and then he sends me this one that says, I win, and it's Mr. Hands.
01:06:28.000I was like, this is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
01:06:30.000Dude, actually, I think that's how the horse...
01:06:34.000Conversation started, because I saw that video in college with this group of guys.
01:06:38.000It was probably like, well, I wouldn't get fucked by a horse, obviously, but would you fuck a horse's pussy?
01:06:43.000And I think that's maybe how we got there.
01:06:53.000It's enough when they do interviews and stuff, and it's enough for you to get a sense of what was going haywire with these humans that they decided that this was their thing.
01:11:02.000Thinking about it now, a lasso's probably been invented for ancient times.
01:11:06.000They probably had five or six of them and people held on until they could slow the horse down because they didn't have a horse to ride the lasso.
01:12:24.000Conor got mad because I said that his piss looked like it could melt the USADA cup, and he said it looks like my piss could melt the USADA cup too.
01:18:36.000Few Indonesian islands of the lesser Sunda group, including Rincha, Padar, and Flores, and of course the island of Komodo, the largest, 22 miles long.
01:18:47.000They have not been seen on the island of Padar since the 1970s.
01:18:51.000That island of Flores is where those hobbit people live.
01:19:23.000In islands, for whatever reason, I guess because there's limited resources, elephants get smaller, mammals get smaller, deer get smaller, but lizards get bigger.
01:19:56.000The divers who went missing off Indonesia were forced to beat off deadly Komodo dragons with the lead weights of their diving belts as they were repeatedly attacked.
01:20:04.000One of the survivors disclosed last night, Can you imagine all you got is the weights on your diving belt and you have to whack a Komodo dragon with it?
01:20:19.000Oh my god, have been swept away and spun around for 10 hours in shark-infested waters.
01:20:23.000They reached the beach on a remote island at nightfall, only to find it was inhabited by Komodo dragons, the world's largest and most deadly lizards.
01:20:31.000Well, at least we'll get a nice night's rest on this island.
01:22:55.000And we're so weird, because if crocodiles could kill all of us, if we kill crocodiles and they go, hey, we just kill all the people, then we don't have to worry about people anymore.
01:23:03.000They'd be like, yeah, let's kill the people.
01:23:04.000But with us, we're like, you gotta keep them alive.
01:33:27.000Like, just 19-year-old fucking brutal stuff.
01:33:34.000But those gigs where you get a gig out of town, and you're not really qualified to do it, and you're not even at a comedy club, you're at some weird bar, those teach you.
01:33:41.000They're smoking cigarettes indoors at that point.
01:33:45.000But those teach you about comedy, man.
01:33:46.000Well, not only do they teach me about comedy, they tell me about life.
01:33:48.000The end of the story is I come back and I drove with my friends, right?
01:35:28.000No, I remember I quit my job, because that was starting to happen to me in Baltimore, and what had happened was I just lined up every gig possible in the first three months, and I was like, well, I can make a living, and then I was like, oh no, I just did every gig for the year.
01:40:03.000Dude, because it's like Greece, the fucking, like the economy went to shit.
01:40:07.000So it's just like, he literally lives kind of villager shit where it's like him and my godmother moved to The island his family is from, like, historically.
01:40:15.000He's got a little—he gets honey, his friend has fucking moonshine, his other friend has rabbits, and they literally, like, barter and shit, dude.
01:40:24.000I went to Greece, I visited them, like, four years ago, and it was like, I'm getting fucked up off his friend's moonshine, we're eating fucking rabbit stew that his fucking friend hunted.
01:40:34.000It was just like, they're broke as shit, but they're having a good-ass time in Greece.
01:40:37.000That's nice if you could live like that.
01:40:39.000As long as you have too many people and the resources don't get overrun, you can live like that.
01:40:44.000If you grow your own vegetables and you cook your own food and you can hunt and you can maybe have some animals, that's a nice way to live, man.
01:43:44.000What if they got the fucking, the first one was just like the fucking most big dick badass fucking one of them, and then it's just a bunch of bumbling dumbasses.
01:43:51.000I would love to see aliens from, it's like a comedy from their perspective, where they're like, ooh.
01:43:56.000Right, the first one was a Navy SEAL, and these guys are just tech nerds.
01:47:31.000Put a little piece of tape over that part.
01:47:33.000A friend of mine has a bar outside of town here, and he had this bathroom, and in the bathroom, in the men's room, they put up all these photos from Playboy magazine.
01:51:48.000His doctor says he was chemically castrated.
01:51:51.000The same doctor that killed him by anesthetizing him every night, that same doctor said that he was chemically castrated when he was young.
01:52:00.000And that's how he maintained his voice.
01:54:47.000I think it's probably the way height goes in society, where it's like, the more nourished you are, I think there's probably, we hit a point where it's like, we have the most comforts, we have the most nourished, and we're kind of like, you know, not as overworked.
01:55:07.000But it makes sense that you're saying it with resources.
01:55:09.000But if there was like a resource-rich area...
01:55:12.000Say if there was an area where people were hunter-gatherers and they grew some food and they all did like your uncle does in Greece and they all lived off the land.
01:55:22.000They all took pictures of women's breasts with their Motorola flip phone, too?
01:55:25.000They're well-nourished, but they're people that are living 1,000, 2,000 years ago.
01:56:21.000It's like they had their time off was the fucking Sunday because they got to go to church and see the full circle, go to the fucking priests, you know, blinged out, just fucking hang.
01:58:41.000Certainly that happened a lot, but there was also like...
01:58:45.000I think a little bit of how dirty and shit it was is a little overblown too, but I'm interested in that.
01:58:50.000I think there was a high level of sophistication in comparison to a lot of other cultures back then, but in terms of us today, I bet we would be shocked by how savage they behave.
01:59:04.000I think they're probably both intelligent and savage.
01:59:07.000I mean, Marcus Aurelius' Meditations is like, still to this day, one of the most interesting books on philosophy and the way a guy lives his life ever.
01:59:15.000That motherfucker wrote that as the Roman Emperor 2,000 years ago.
01:59:44.000Yeah, I listened to an audio version of it and the song and I felt like such a pussy.
01:59:50.000This guy's writing this from this incredible position of strength thousands of years ago and his advice to people was to learn how to be more charitable and to be nicer and kinder to each other and to forgive people.
02:00:03.000That's a radical stance for a leader of a fucking empire.
02:00:06.000He was trying to legitimately be a better person, seemed like, and lead by example.
02:00:11.000But then he had this son that was a monster.
02:00:52.000So sometimes you can only hold one thought in your head and you can't hold the thought in the head that that person has because you've got something to say.
02:00:58.000Because you've got something in the back of your head.
02:02:05.000It's important for how you understand how people, like everybody has a different style of communication and everybody has a different life story and everybody has different things they do for a living.
02:02:38.000Also, it's like you're in a place in your life where it's like...
02:02:40.000It took me forever not to have every motivation in my life be getting pussy.
02:02:46.000So it's like if every conversation wasn't leading to getting pussy one way or the other, other than being with your best friends and just kicking it.
02:02:55.000And it's nice to mature a little bit and be like, you know, I do like it.
02:03:43.000It almost feels like a rollercoaster where you have to just kind of push yourself to engage.
02:03:47.000And then once you do, it's like fucking bombs away.
02:03:50.000Yeah, because it's like logically you know there's a lot of things that you like to do, but you don't engage in doing them for whatever reason, right?
02:06:49.000They're like, how many give me a stroke?
02:06:51.000I'm going to take one less than give me a stroke.
02:06:53.000And I had a whole bit about how dicks would become so big that guys would have to push them around in shopping carts and women would evolve to have these giant flying squirrel pussy people and the guys would chase them up to the top of cliffs and they would leap to safety.
02:08:51.000But this guy, if you saw it for that brief image, this guy has done something where all of his muscles look like balloons, like right there.
02:13:44.000No, it's definitely, you can definitely go, that's why I think it's, I think, you know, you just gotta let yourself age, you just gotta fucking, that's another thing, there is like a humanity to someone who ages with grace and doesn't give a fuck.
02:15:11.000And he's got a little workout plan for me where it's like, you know, if I miss a day because I'm traveling or whatever, it's a full-body workout.
02:15:24.000And it's like little baby steps because it's like...
02:15:28.000You have to realize if this is what you want, if stand-up and touring is what you want, this is just what my life's going to be like, so I have to figure out how to get healthy within it.
02:15:35.000At one point I was fantasizing about, I'm going to take a year off, and I'm just going to fucking do everything right.
02:16:21.000And I feel like a dumbass for not reaching out.
02:16:25.000He was like, why didn't you hit me up on the road?
02:16:29.000Because when we went back, when I went back the summer after, I was in great shape for me after the pandemic, and then I toured for the whole year.
02:16:38.000And dude, it was like, when I went back, I was like, let's go, bro.
02:19:31.000And look how, like, overweight he was on the left, and look who he looks like now.
02:19:35.000I mean, for people that are, like, out there that don't have hope, and they feel like they fucked their life up impossibly, you see that guy and you go, oh, he did it in front of everybody.
02:22:26.000It was like when the pleasure stops, because my last tour was the Prince of Pleasure tour, and the last stop was Providence in Philly, and I just brought my buddy Matt Salakuse along.
02:23:55.000What's funny is, it does slow your brain down, but it's like, it kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier, where I love when a fat athlete You know what I mean?
02:28:13.000And it's just like, it was little shit.
02:28:15.000It's like, you know, I was like, I just want to focus on stand-up, and I just want to like...
02:28:21.000And I think at a certain point, we had kind of creatively gotten a little stale, and we were all just like, I don't know, kind of like I was feeling like maybe there's another thing.
02:28:30.000I want to pour all my energy into stand-up.
02:28:34.000And it was just like, dude, I kind of just stopped everything.
02:28:38.000I took a little break, and I put the special out, and I thought I was just going to take it easy.
02:28:44.000I thought it was like, alright, I'm just gonna regroup, I'll take some time off, start building the next special slowly, and then I was just like, fucking YouTube and TikTok and all this shit, as much as we shit on it, like, that shit jumped my career up, where I was like, fuck, I can't really take a break now,
02:28:59.000because, like, I'm selling tickets like I'd never have sold before, and it was just kind of the thing where I was planning on just taking a lot of time off.
02:29:41.000And so I feel like for podcasts, for comics in this day and age, I feel like it's just as important as social media, if not more important, to have a podcast.
02:29:51.000It's like even if you only like talk about shit that you think about in the news, like something wacky goes down.
02:30:36.000I know it helps Tim's, and Bill says it helps his too, because you're constantly ranting about stuff.
02:30:42.000And every now and then you can take those rants, extract them, And especially Dylan, because Dylan is essentially doing a one-audience member show.
02:31:31.000Well, it used to be if you became the person who the sitcom was named after, like Roseanne or Seinfeld, that's the fucking top of the mountain.
02:31:43.000Yeah, I mean, I think what I like doing on this one, so it's Stabby's World, it came out of like, I was doing an advice show over the pandemic because I wanted, I didn't feel like I was near an audience.
02:31:54.000So I did it on Twitch, so it was live, and people would call in and I wouldn't screen, I wouldn't screen the calls, I had a producer and And so I would just respond to whatever questions people were asking off the top of my head.
02:32:04.000And it was like I got to kind of experience a live show.
02:34:32.000Even YouTube, I kind of feel like I just kind of started throwing my shit up there just to see what would happen to prep for the special coming out.
02:34:40.000Now there's a legit audience and now I get to do fun stuff like make a workout series with my brother.
02:34:47.000That's not strictly stand-up, but it's funny.
02:37:52.000I do think, like, you should be able to say whatever you want, but it's also, like, using nuclear weapons, where it's like, yeah, Chris Rock can do it, but not every fucking open-miker can do it.
02:38:29.000And if you're a dumb kid and you're 21 years old and you have this complicated idea in your head, you think you're going to figure out how to make funny in front of these people, but you fall flat on your face, you should still try it.
02:38:41.000Yeah, I would say keep it to, like, but you do have this epidemic of, like, young kids who think they're ready for the big shit, and it's like, you're not, bro.
02:38:50.000You didn't feel like that when you were young?
02:39:07.000And for young guys coming up, you have all this testosterone and fucking zero clue on how the world works yet, and you start making a living doing comedy, or you start doing open mics and getting laughs, and you think you're profound.
02:45:05.000And then I saw Dennis Leary, and I saw Hicks, and I saw a lot of these guys.
02:45:08.000I was like, okay, comedy is a lot of things.
02:45:11.000It's like you get a confused idea what comedy is.
02:45:14.000And then luckily I started out in Boston, and all of those guys, like I talked about Lenny Clark and Don Gavin, they were all Coke snorting.
02:45:29.000I mean, because I was definitely a little fucking comedy nerd, so it's like, you know, it was one of the places that early had a very defined local scene with a lot of really good talent, where it's like...
02:47:44.000And you just see him work on his shit day after day.
02:47:47.000The biggest thrill for me when I moved to New York was being on a show with fucking Dave Attell.
02:47:51.000When I'm at the stand and it's the late show and he's coming in and you just see this guy, he's working on something, he's killing harder, and he has the discipline to not let being Dave Attell go to his head.
02:49:11.000If you become so obsessed that you spend all your time doing it, and then you become this miserable person who's really successful, that's not a success.
02:50:48.000Everybody's got their own weird way of managing.
02:50:50.000Yeah, I definitely get locked into one thing at a time and I have a hard time switching gears.
02:50:55.000So we were launching the podcast and I hadn't done stand-up in a couple weeks and now I'm about to do...
02:51:00.000We were just trying to get everything figured out and recording some pods, because I also want to take January off, so you've got to bank some.
02:51:05.000And so I was just in that mode, and now it's like...
02:51:08.000It does take me a while, I feel like, to shift gears, to get into stand-up mode.
02:51:50.000And it also, like, it holds you accountable.
02:51:52.000It's very difficult to do things, just decide, oh, I'm going to do this every day.
02:51:56.000Because, like, if you don't, like, have a fucking list of shit that you have to get done, it's so easy to blow stuff off.
02:52:03.000And also, it's like, when your fucking brain is all fucked, I don't know if you feel like you have ADD or whatever, but it's like, I definitely feel, like, I just, every time I look up an article that's like, you know, do you have, it's like, every part of it, it's like, I have that, I have Let's look it up.
02:52:19.000How do you know if you have ADD? What are the symptoms of ADD, Jamie?
02:52:22.000Because my boy, Ben O'Brien, he's the fucking man.
02:55:09.000Like, I was listening to Brian Koppelman's podcast.
02:55:11.000He was talking about how ADD can be like a fucking superpower because sometimes you're so locked in.
02:55:17.000And he was talking about how when he was writing his first script, it was like...
02:55:22.000He wanted to do it so bad, and sometimes I feel that way too, where I'm in the fucking zone.
02:55:27.000When I really want to get something done, where I'm writing a script I really care about, or I'm working on a joke that I really want to get done, and I feel like when I'm in that zone, I'm like, I'm the fucking smartest man alive.
02:55:40.000Is this really a disease, or is it a problem only because human beings are trying to interface with a complex modern society that doesn't match their genetics?
02:59:00.000It's wild to see people who can't stop going to the casino.
02:59:03.000It's wild to see people who can't stop going betting on cards or horses or...
02:59:09.000When I moved to New York in like 92, 91, 92, whatever it was, I started hanging out at this pool hall.
02:59:17.000And this pool hall was filled with degenerate gamblers.
02:59:20.000I was never around those kind of people when I was younger.
02:59:23.000And all of a sudden, as like a 23-year-old, I'm hanging around with these Fucking animals that just all would lie to each other and they were all stealing money and they were all gambling.
03:01:42.000The game is billiards or pocket billiards.
03:01:43.000You know, the original game was three cushion billiards, and then they developed pocket billiards, mostly in America.
03:01:48.000And when you watch them play in pool, they're playing it for money.
03:01:52.000So all those guys back in the day, they were just these gambling addicts that lived in this time where they felt like they were outcasts of society, and they were all over New York City.
03:04:49.000People are cheering and hollering and trying to gamble more.
03:04:54.000It was a crazy environment of guys getting to do what they really enjoyed doing.
03:05:00.000You know, just having fun, talking shit with each other, not hindered by jobs that make you dress a certain way, or, you know, offices that make you talk a certain way.
03:05:08.000These are just wild folk who didn't fit in.
03:06:16.000And he played out of Hard Times Billiards.
03:06:18.000And this motherfucker was like legendary through the whole country for gambling.
03:06:22.000And the way he played, he played with a sidearm stroke because he learned how to play pool when he was so small he couldn't reach the table.
03:06:29.000So he couldn't dangle his cue in a normal way.
03:06:39.000So he plays this character in this movie who's the number one pool player in the world.
03:06:43.000What's interesting about it is he legitimately was.
03:06:46.000So when you watch him shoot the ball and move the ball around, that's what an elite, top of the food chain, assassin for money pool player looks like.
03:07:52.000The idea is that Tom Cruise has to play badly because he's playing Grady Stevens, so he has to lose so that the odds on him will be very low when he goes to a tournament because the word will get out that Grady robbed him.
03:08:21.000This is when they're at the big tournament.
03:08:22.000What I love about this movie, too, is, like, I had no idea about all the fucking actual pool shit, but it's, like, it's such an interesting movie from just a fucking film perspective, because it's, like...
03:08:50.000I love any time a career, the guys in the movies, it really mirrors the characters.
03:08:56.000There's something so fucking awesome and poetic about that.
03:08:58.000Right, at the same point in their lives.
03:08:59.000Paul Newman is the fucking old piece of ass fucking star.
03:09:03.000And he's literally teaching, as Tom Cruise is about to ascend...
03:09:06.000It's this fuck and then you know Paul Newman would go on to have the whole is the later You know part where he plays great, you know great roles the fucking verdict rules I don't remember those before or after this but just like I love that shit dude and it was like Tom and just to see those guys just Against each other for real as actors in the same way that their characters are going and it's like all of that directed by Scorsese And it was all written by Walter Tevis who was the same guy who wrote the Queen's Gambit Oh wow,
03:09:45.000And yeah, it had another thing that I really like, which is like a weird, unofficial sequel thing, where it's like, it is a sequel, but it's like no one except Paul Newman.
03:10:22.000You can watch Mike stroke, the way Mike moves balls around.
03:10:25.000And what's cool about, like, I guess we didn't know that, or I wasn't lying, but it's like, you didn't know that it wasn't clear about Tom Cruise at the time, where it's like, wow, that's really impressive that he would learn how to play pool, and now the motherfucker's, like, jumping out of fucking jets.
03:16:46.000That's like Cirque du Soleil strength.
03:16:48.000I do love watching, like, Old, old-ass movies, because we have gotten so, like, used to, like, you know, CGI and all that shit, and it's helpful for certain things, but it's, like, what you think is possible, you're like, oh, we are fucking lazy.
03:17:02.000Or even just, like, even just, like, the, you know, how fast they would, like, build, they would make buildings and shit, and, um, but you just look at Yeah, what does he got going on here?
03:17:29.000But, like, you see a movie from the fucking 30s, and you see the, like, the fucking, one of my favorite movies to just throw on sometimes is the old Robin Hood from the 30s.
03:17:38.000It's this fucking spectacle, dude, where they just have thousands of fucking extras.
03:17:49.000I don't, I mean, I'm sure I saw it when I was a kid.
03:17:51.000But it's just, like, this thing where you're, like, your mind is, like, bro, when they have these giant scenes where it's, like, You know, a king and it's a jousting tournament.
03:17:59.000They have like fucking hundreds of people in the stands.
03:18:01.000Today that's eight guys and they CGI it.
03:18:05.000I mean the fight scenes or whatever, don't get me wrong, but like the big spectacles of them and like these huge sets and like when it's like...
03:18:14.000The thing that really fucking shocked me was the like, I think it was the jousting or maybe the archery competition.
03:19:46.000My brothers and like my best friends, it's a rotating cast, right?
03:19:50.000But we like to fucking get fucked up on Christmas.
03:19:54.000We do like a bros Christmas on top of the family stuff, kind of like the Friendsgiving version of Christmas where we'll just take a psychedelic and watch some out of control, like, you know, Star Wars.
03:20:05.000I've never seen the new Star Wars' not on acid or mushrooms.
03:20:08.000And dude, I don't have any idea what happens in him.
03:20:11.000My boy Babu Frick, I don't remember which one he's in, I was laughing like a fucking lunatic because I was just on acid and just a little fucking cute puppet.
03:22:53.000When me and my brother, because we, like, I have gained an appreciation for it over, but I remember going into it, and I was just like, I was a little bit of like a film snob, because I was in college, and I was on like my film snob shit, and it was like, oh, Cameron, like, Terminator, like, he's gonna,
03:23:08.000this is gonna be, and it's got, remember how hyped it was?