Joe Rogan is back with a brand new episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, a podcast by day, hosted by the comedian and podcaster, and hosted by his wife, Jamie Rogan. In this episode, the guys talk about the recent breakout at the Feruzic Zoo in Sweden, and why they don t like zoos. They also talk about a story Joe wrote about a zoo break-in, and how animals in zoos don t give a shit about anything but food. Joe also talks about the time he went to the zoo with his kids and almost got raped by a giraffe. And then he talks about a time he almost got into a fight with a bear in the middle of the night. This episode was recorded on New Year's Eve, which is not a good day to be in a zoo, but it's not a bad day in a general sense either, so why not have a wild one? Enjoy! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you to my good friend John Rocha for the intro and outro music, and good vibes. We hope you enjoy this episode. Happy New Year and Happy Holidays! XOXO, Joe and Jamie! xoxo - The Joe and the Joe Experience. -Jon and the rest of the Rogan Crew -PSA to the crew at The Joe & the team at Joe Rogans Podcast and all the love and support they've given us this week's work on this episode of the podcast. Thank you so much for making this podcast, we really appreciate it, it's a lot of love and appreciate all the support and support and appreciate it. -Jonah and the support we've gotten through all the work they've done so far this past week. XO - Thank you for all the hard work, thank you all of our support and all of your support and love and the love you've shown through all of the support, we appreciate you all the time, we'll keep coming back and all your support through the work coming through this week, we're looking forward in the coming back next week. -Joes and love you back to you all coming back in the next few weeks. -Merry Christmas! -Josie and the crew. -AJ and the boys. --
00:02:10.000They just eat, and they're the only animals that they let babies feed them.
00:02:14.000When my daughters were little, like, they could take a piece of, like, little tiny, you'd hold them, they'd hold a piece of lettuce out, and this giant giraffe tongue comes out, wraps around the leaf, and takes it from them.
00:02:25.000And everybody laughs, and you never have to worry about giraffes being cunts.
00:02:28.000I bet they're the majority of the animals like the zoo.
00:04:06.000The polar bears are used to dealing with gigantic icebergs that they could walk on, frozen sheets of ice, these little ice islands, and they're killing seals and they're running around and they're just out there in the ocean and the open air and...
00:04:23.000Now they're in this Massachusetts little box.
00:04:26.000And it was the summer when I went there, too.
00:04:37.000It's not like the old days before they had video, you know, where the only way you could see an animal was they had to capture it and bring it to the zoo.
00:06:18.000Especially as this stuff gets better and better and this virtual reality technology improves, there's no reason to keep these things captive like that.
00:06:27.000There's one argument and that argument is conservation.
00:06:31.000They're taking endangered species and then they're making sure that they have breeding populations.
00:06:36.000There's a few animals that are really endangered and the zoo is one of the only ways they keep healthy populations of them.
00:06:43.000But other than that, the fuck out of here.
00:07:16.000Imagine being like out there at the supermarket and you got your bags, you move into your car, and you see three chimps running away like, oh no!
00:07:39.000They got a stick and the other one's moving the stick.
00:07:41.000Maybe they pay attention to the way they turn the key, and they're like, I heard a click in there, just like, that fucking click is the key.
00:08:02.000Yeah, so if you think about the Stone Age with ancient primates who became people, that process is happening right now with chimpanzees and orangutans.
00:08:10.000You ever see the photo of the orangutan that spear fishes?
00:08:54.000So if this is the argument that chimpanzees are moving into the Stone Age, what if chimps really do continue to evolve alongside people and then all of a sudden they start talking?
00:09:09.000Do we let them in the UN? You know, like, what are we talking, like, if a million years from now, if human beings are still around and chimpanzees have continued to evolve to the point where they start making clothes, they start killing antelopes and scraping the fat off of the skins and drying them out, wearing them as clothes and shit.
00:11:12.000He used to have a chimp that they took care of and he got to a point where he was getting dangerous and they couldn't keep him anymore so they brought him to like a place.
00:11:20.000Where they have chimpanzees and they brought him a birthday cake and the other chimps were furious that they didn't get a cake because chimps get really jealous and they got out and fucked that guy up.
00:11:32.000Just tore him apart, tore his feet off.
00:12:05.000Like, maybe there should be a place where people protect them just in case they get to the point where, you know, they're on the verge of extinction, because that would fucking suck.
00:12:12.000You know how devastating that would be to humans, to our psyche, of where we fit in the world if chimps went extinct?
00:12:22.000I was like, how many chimps are there?
00:14:49.000Can't put lipstick in their eyeballs and see what the root, you know, the shit they do with rabbits and stuff.
00:14:55.000Yeah, but if you say to somebody and go, hey, instead of using animals for testing, this person is on death row, would you rather have that than killing an animal?
00:15:44.000And then they wound up getting killed.
00:15:46.000I mean, it's like the system is so bad.
00:15:49.000And through the podcast that I've done with Josh Dubin, who he used to work with the Innocence Project.
00:15:54.000Now he does a lot of different programs along the same lines, though, where it's trying to get people out of jail that are clearly innocent.
00:16:01.000And prosecutors, man, there's a lot of good ones out there.
00:16:05.000There's a lot of good people that are prosecutors, no doubt.
00:16:07.000But there's also prosecutors that hide evidence.
00:16:10.000They withhold evidence that would exonerate people.
00:16:14.000They prosecute people they know are innocent.
00:17:24.000There was a story that I was reading, I think I sent you this too, Jamie, about this article that was talking about this woman that brutally murdered and raped this woman and about how unusual it is for a woman to brutally rape and murder another woman.
00:18:48.000And like that person that went to jail and said he was a woman and started banging all the inmates and got two of them pregnant, that person brutally murdered his mother.
00:22:40.000And as a group, if you've achieved protected status, like a lot of people, they feel like they categorize trans people in a protected class because they've been maligned and because they've been discriminated against.
00:23:33.000Who would have thought this, that everything, like the Leah Thomas thing with swimming, who would have thought that that's like the number one female swimmer actually has a penis and supposedly has sex with women?
00:23:47.000Like, imagine if you're a girl and you work so hard to get a scholarship and, you know, you're born, you didn't go through puberty with male levels of testosterone.
00:23:55.000Here's something that I found out the other day when we talked about this already, sorry, where James Cameron was saying that testosterone is a toxin that needs to be released from men's bodies.
00:24:05.000Women have more testosterone than they have estrogen.
00:28:17.000Because, you know, people will probably—I mean, they're already, you know, doing things like getting rid of certain books that have, like, fucked up language in it.
00:28:25.000Like, they got rid of—I think it was Huckleberry Finn because it had the N-word in it, and they removed that from certain libraries.
00:28:32.000Pixar's going in and editing parts out of their movies already because— Things and really yeah, there's a Yeah, there's Toy Story and the guy that plays Frasier He's like flirting creepily with the two Barbie girls and it's just like really scummy And they cut that out.
00:30:28.000Plus, whenever a fighter fights, a Mexican fighter, like when we went to see Canelo Alvarez fight Triple G, It was awesome because they had a mariachi band, a full mariachi band, and they came out and they played.
00:30:40.000Whenever a Mexican fighter fights, they kind of have to have mariachi music, right?
00:31:08.000Seeing a Canelo fight where it's all Canelo's fans and you get to see in the person, in the flesh, and hearing them all singing to this song that you don't even know, it's pretty wild.
00:31:19.000Speaking of Mexican, did you hear what happened to El Capadre in Los Angeles, the restaurant?
00:32:52.000Since the post went viral, El Compadre said in a statement below, the now-fired manager went against the restaurant's core values.
00:32:59.000We have been in business for almost 50 years.
00:33:01.000We accept, appreciate, and value every customer that walks through our doors, and this behavior will never be tolerated in our establishment, the restaurant said in part on social media.
00:33:08.000We do believe El Compadre to be a family restaurant, and coming into our restaurant is like coming into our home.
00:33:14.000In our home, we believe in love and equality and the fact that one of our employees made someone feel unsafe is not acceptable to us.
00:34:41.000I remember the first time I went there...
00:34:44.000I don't remember what year it was, but it was early on.
00:34:46.000I walked in there and I was in the lobby and there was a girl who was in a fish tank behind the managers and the front desk people just reading a book in her underwear.
00:42:26.000Just fucking stuffed which is a dumb thing you really shouldn't ever be that unless you're this is the only time you get to eat You know because you're a hunter-gatherer and they're like finally we found food I haven't eaten in days You're really not supposed to be stuffed Yeah,
00:42:42.000and I think, at least I grew up always thinking you wanted to get stuff.
00:42:45.000That's when you got to the end of eating.
00:45:11.000They go back, bring their bread, and just dip it in the pasta sauce.
00:45:15.000Those fucking people, man, when they finally got food, they made filling food.
00:45:20.000The Italians in particular that came to America, their food is different than the Italians in Italy.
00:45:27.000The things that we think of as Italian food, like spaghetti and lasagna and meatballs and stuff like that, spaghetti with red sauce, with meatballs, they don't have that over there.
00:46:41.000I think I have a healthy perspective on what it's like to live in 2022. There's problems that we have that are very unique.
00:46:48.000But I think every single generation, the generation that had the car, like all of a sudden you could drive everywhere.
00:46:56.000The generation where they developed the printing press, like, oh my god, we're reading things?
00:47:02.000Do you know what most books were when they first invented books?
00:47:06.000You think of like, oh, they wrote knowledge down and this is how they, you know, wrote history and documented things for future generations.
00:47:25.000Because you think most of the people back then were not educated at all.
00:47:31.000A lot of people probably couldn't read.
00:47:33.000So when books finally came around and people started reading, you're dealing with people that are super unsophisticated, probably a lot of them, very superstitious.
00:47:42.000They really believed in that kind of stuff.
00:47:47.000I wonder if there's people against books when they came out.
00:48:23.000They don't even teach cursive anymore in most schools.
00:48:25.000My mom still writes me cursive letters, and I can't even, like, I've almost not been able to read half of the letter now, because I'm like, I don't remember how to read this.
00:50:48.000But that's also the case with autonomous trucks.
00:50:53.000Should we not have autonomous trucks that never crash, or should we let truckers get high on meth and drive across the country?
00:50:59.000Which they don't anymore, I should just say.
00:51:01.000They actually limit the amount of time that they're allowed to be behind the wheel, where they used to just fucking meth up and let's go, and they make it across the whole country in a day.
00:51:10.000They're not allowed to do that anymore.
00:51:15.000Not because they're going to lose their job, which they definitely are, because it's amazing about AI. But AI takes from other artists, like a style of an artist.
00:51:23.000So you can see other people's work in the AI. AI is using their kind of style.
00:53:14.000I get what people are saying, that you're taking someone's style, but I think human beings are still going to make the distinction of something being gorgeous.
00:54:40.000So this guy is this bald dude who's a white guy on the bottom.
00:54:47.000And there's a Morgan Freeman that's artificially generated that's above him that's saying the words that he's saying in Morgan Freeman's voice.
01:02:35.000Isn't that nuts that there's a disease, just like that rage thing from Planet of the Apes, there's a disease that makes you aggressive so that you can give it to someone else.
01:04:36.000Probably rough tumble life out there eating out of garbage cans.
01:04:40.000Raccoons and bears belong in the same clade of carnivorous mammals, but they're not small bears.
01:04:47.000Their physique is similar to that of a bear, and they're both predators, but the similarity is only due to their adaptation to a comparable way of life.
01:04:56.000I don't know why I struggle with comparable.
01:04:58.000So they're in the same clade of carnivorous mammals.
01:10:20.000You think you just got hit by something.
01:10:22.000Imagine if you were doing that, but you were doing that for like some kind of fucking crazy racing movie and the seats go side to side when you're doing it.
01:13:21.000Hello everyone, this is Donald Trump, hopefully your favorite president of all time, better than Lincoln, better than Washington, with an important announcement to make.
01:13:31.000I'm doing my first official Donald J. Trump NFT collection right here and right now.
01:13:36.000They're called Trump Digital Trading Cards.
01:13:39.000These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career.
01:16:22.000They fucking gun everyone in the room down.
01:16:25.000We will give you at least 30 days notice to plan your trip.
01:16:28.000All costs and expenses associated with live events made available to digital trading cards owners, including, but not limited to, all federal, state, and local taxes, air and ground, transportation, activities, airline, luggage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:17:55.000So you have to pay taxes, you have to pay for your transportation, you have to pay for tips, airline, luggage, incidentals, upgrade, everything.
01:18:54.000You can't stop people from recognizing how fucking insane it is to have an actual former president be on TV selling like Digital cartoons of himself saying they're the greatest.
01:19:04.000They're so inexpensive for what you get.
01:19:49.000Imagine if he got jacked, though, and he started an Instagram page where he had a shirt off all the time, and he's like working out, you know?
01:20:54.000I had to bring it near the window so I could look at it.
01:20:57.000I'm like, is that a dark, dark blue or is it black?
01:20:59.000Because I know I have dark, dark blue shirts.
01:21:01.000I don't want to be that idiot on TV with a dark blue shirt where on camera it looks dark blue, but in your fucking poorly lit closet, you can't tell if it's black or blue.
01:21:11.000Yeah, that's part of getting old, dude.
01:22:01.000These eight women get into a house, and then these eight college hunks show up is what it says, but I think the hunks are going to be their sons.
01:24:14.000And if those girls have extremely high libido...
01:24:17.000Big old double D science-created mama-jamas popping out of their fucking shirt, and they're touching that guy's leg and he's 19. He's in a trance.
01:24:35.000But if you had that the opposite way, if you had a bunch of guys in their 50s that just take testosterone, they're all ripped, They're all fucking doing CrossFit every day and shit.
01:24:44.000And they have a lot of money and big watches and shit.
01:24:47.000And they're like, I got extremely high libido.
01:24:49.000And then these girls come in and they look all innocent and giggly.
01:25:23.000Soria, but what I'm saying is the woman's really hot, and the son is home for spring break, or something like that, and dad ignores the hot lady and is just working all the time.
01:25:36.000And then she's hot as fuck, but she's a freak, and then next thing you know, he's giving her a massage, and...
01:28:04.000Five counts of transporting obscene matter by the use of interactive computer service and five counts of mailing obscene matter relating to five movies showing fisting, urination, and vomiting.
01:28:46.000A lot of it was just, you know, there was some real girls stuffing squids up there, but there was a lot of it was, like, giant muscular octopuses with dicks at the end of their tentacles, and they were banging all these girls, and the girls were in ecstasy.
01:34:31.000Well, if they get to a point where they can genetically engineer life forms that really didn't exist before, how long before someone makes that?
01:34:39.000Make some guy with a nose that's a dick And his mouth is right where your butthole is.
01:35:32.000And it that that kind of fucked up there's always been like and this is a thing because if you bring it if you bring up like elite people that are molesting children people like oh my god your tinfoil hat you're gone you're off in a conspiracy land because for most people they don't experience that there's no there's you have no reference point that sounds crazy that's not real But if you go to one of those wacky-ass parties in Hollywood,
01:35:57.000you're like, oh my god, these places are real.
01:35:58.000There's probably a version of that for elite pedophiles.
01:36:41.000And because we don't want to entertain it, It doesn't get brought up.
01:36:45.000It's not like a thing that's like at the forefront of everybody's conversation until something like this Balenciaga thing happens and you hear a bunch of different versions of it like who did what?
01:36:54.000Well, I heard it was just a designer or I heard it was just a publicist that did that and she had some wacky shit on her site, but it had nothing to do with the company like and then there's Did you see this video?
01:37:07.000She's the great-granddaughter of Guccio Gucci.
01:42:53.000Yes, I get that you sing along with this when you hear it on commercials during the old school lunch breaks and at grown and sexy social scenes, but Marvin was up to no good when he wrote it.
01:43:05.000When he recorded it, he was dating Janice Hunter.
01:44:25.000I remember reading, I dated this girl when I hear this, this is crazy.
01:44:30.000I was really into Marvin Gaye for a while when I was like 21. And I was dating this girl when she was 25. And then I read that Marvin Gaye's dad killed him.
01:45:47.000We're watching you beat your son up because I get your son probably got cocky with you but and he Celebrates after he knocks his son out.
01:45:56.000It made me so sad Because first of all I'm like that kid has brain damage now a hundred percent Maybe it's just a little maybe he'll be fine.
01:46:03.000Maybe he'll get over it But maybe you fucked him up that can happen too.
01:46:07.000He might be depressed from now on after that it might fuck up his pituitary gland It happens to people and you just did that to your son You're supposed to, like, touch him up.
01:49:52.000My favorite is this old boxer and he looks like he's like fucking 65 and he's got a sweater on and he beats the shit out of this young jacked guy.
01:50:03.000Like they start boxing and all of a sudden this guy starts bobbing his head.
01:50:06.000You're like, oh my god, this old guy can fight.
01:53:01.000If you ask any jujitsu black belt who's the best, they all said Hickson.
01:53:05.000Now they all say Gordon Ryan, which is true of today, but Gordon Ryan is like the modern version of Hickson, where everybody just says he's the best.
01:53:12.000There's nobody like either one of those guys.
01:53:15.000There's nobody like Hickson, and there's nobody like Gordon, where everybody says, that's the best.
01:53:20.000Who was the guy that you had on your show, and I was there, and he was like a master, kind of like an older guy, and he was putting me in chokeholds and stuff.
01:56:13.000He also is a guy that taught Bruce Lee.
01:56:17.000When Bruce Lee met him, he really didn't understand grappling like that, like that kind of super high-level judo.
01:56:24.000And I think in that movie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, the Brad Pitt character is supposed to represent, in some way, shape, or form, a guy like Gene LaBelle.
01:56:33.000A guy who was like a real bad motherfucker who was working with Bruce Lee on a movie set.
01:56:40.000In reality, Gene LaBelle taught him some judo, but he did pick him up at one point in time and carry him around just to let him know, like, hey buddy, in the real world, I'm fucking Gene LaBelle and you weigh 135 pounds.
01:58:42.000When I would go to boxing gyms, they're like, you can learn that here.
01:58:45.000Everybody wanted you to just learn Taekwondo.
01:58:47.000They opened their mind up to it a little bit at certain points in time.
01:58:51.000Like certain students that we had that also boxed.
01:58:53.000I could go train with them in other places, but...
01:58:56.000When I started kickboxing, it was a giant wake-up call because I realized, like, wow, there's stuff that's better than Taekwondo for, like, an overall – Taekwondo is the best for, like, wild kicks, like, side kicks and front kicks and wheel kicks and turning back kicks and shit like that.
01:59:09.000But boxing is way better for your hands.
01:59:12.000Like, those guys are way better at it.
01:59:13.000And then you get kicked in the legs and you're like, oh, boy, I need to learn that.
01:59:28.000Someone could just maul you, but Bruce Lee he opened that door for everybody because back then before especially before the UFC martial arts were very like Everybody stayed in their tribe the judo guys thought judo was the best The kickboxer guys thought kickboxing was the best like everybody had their own mindset on what style was the best Bruce Lee started it all off bro and judo Gene LaBelle was the guy that taught him grappling and Look at that.
02:01:31.000And they think that in this, I think what Russia's trying to say in this is that they were responsible for making Lee Harvey Oswald try to kill the president.
02:01:40.000There was so much shit going on with that story.
02:01:43.000For anybody that thinks in 2022 that you know what happened in 1963, you're crazy.
02:02:00.000He murders the President of the United States, and then, less than 48 hours later, that lone gunman is himself murdered by another lone gunman.
02:02:12.000It's one thing if you get struck by lightning, rare but possible.
02:02:15.000But if every member of your family also gets struck by lightning all on different days, you might begin to suspect these are not entirely natural events.
02:02:24.000But oh, replied the U.S. government, they are.
02:02:26.000This bizarre chain of killings was all entirely natural.
02:02:30.000So less than a year after the JFK assassination, the Johnson White House released something called the Warren Commission Report.
02:02:37.000And the report concluded that while their motives remained unclear, both Lee Oswald and Jack Ruby had acted alone.
02:02:51.000At the time, they had no idea how shoddy and corrupt the Warren Commission was.
02:02:55.000It would be nearly 50 years before the CIA admitted under duress that, in fact, it had withheld information from investigators about its relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald.
02:03:06.000But even then, at the time, before that was known, the government's explanation didn't seem entirely plausible, and some people started asking obvious questions about it.
02:03:15.000It was at that point, as Americans started to doubt the official story, that the term conspiracy theory entered our lexicon.
02:03:22.000As Professor Lance DeHaven-Smith points out in his book on the subject, the term conspiracy theory did not exist as a phrase in everyday American conversation before 1964. In 1964, the year the Warren Commission issued its report, the New York Times published five stories in which conspiracy theory appeared.
02:03:41.000Now, today, of course, the term conspiracy theory appears in pretty much every New York Times story about American politics.
02:03:47.000It's wielded, now as then, as a weapon against anyone who asks questions the government doesn't feel like answering.
02:03:54.000But despite 60 years of name-calling, those questions have not disappeared.
02:03:58.000In fact, they have multiplied with time.
02:04:10.000According to West's written assessment, he found that Jack Ruby was, quote, technically insane and in need of immediate psychiatric hospitalization.
02:04:19.000Those are conclusions that, puzzlingly, no one who had spoken to Jack Ruby previously had reached.
02:04:25.000Ruby had seemed perfectly sane to the people who knew him.
02:04:27.000Louis Joyland West pronounced him crazy.
02:04:30.000But what West did not say was that he was working for the CIA at the time.
02:04:36.000Louis Joyland West was a contract psychiatrist for the spy agency.
02:04:39.000He was also an expert on mind control and a prominent player in the now infamous MKUltra program in which the CIA gave powerful psychiatric drugs to Americans without their knowledge.
02:04:49.000So of all the psychiatrists in the world, what in the world was this guy doing in Jack Ruby's prison cell?
02:04:58.000The media did not seem interested in finding out.
02:05:00.000In fact, The New York Times, in an extensive 1999 obituary of West, never mentioned the fact that he had worked for the CIA, much less his time in Jack Ruby's cell, which seems relevant.
02:05:13.000So you can see why non-crazy people would wonder about what really happened.
02:05:53.000In 1992, Congress passed the President John F. Kennedy Assassination Records Collection Act.
02:05:58.000That act mandated full disclosure of all documents by 2017, 54 years after JFK was killed.
02:06:07.000The last administration promised to comply fully with that law, but under intense pressure from CIA director Mike Pompeo, withheld in the end thousands of pages of CIA documents.
02:06:18.000Today, this afternoon, the Biden administration did exactly the same thing.
02:06:23.000That would be thousands of pages of documents after nearly 60 years, after the death of every single person involved.
02:06:42.000Well, today we decided to find out We spoke to someone who had access to these still-hidden CIA documents, a person who was deeply familiar with what they contained.
02:06:51.000We asked this person directly, did the CIA have a hand in the murder of John F. Kennedy, an American president?
02:06:58.000And here's the reply we received verbatim.
02:09:41.000You have all these ideas and then these men with the dark suits show up and they tell you how the countries run.
02:09:48.000Like, see if you can find that video because it's very interesting because it's Putin explaining why no one ever follows through on their promises.
02:10:45.000Even people that are in federal prison or state prisons, like that they should be released.
02:10:50.000This fucking, you know, this Brittany Griner thing, people are not making enough about how many people are in jail for marijuana in this country.
02:12:12.000Because the bureaucracy has a lot of power.
02:12:15.000So a person is elected, he comes with his ideas, then the people with the briefcases come to visit him, well-dressed in dark suits, kind of like mine, except instead of a red or black, a red tie is a black or navy.
02:12:26.000And then they explain what to do, and the whole rhetoric changes, you see?
02:12:30.000This happens from one administration to the next.
02:13:01.000Like, if there was somebody on his team that was like a CIA mole, Someone who had got his trust, sort of like one of them CIA ladies that marries a drug dealer, sneaks in with the cartel or something like that.
02:17:54.000I watched one episode, but my problem was that Dr. Manhattan was a regular guy.
02:17:58.000Like, Dr. Manhattan was supposed to, like, dematerialize and disappear from Earth, and then he would, like, run through the hallways as a ghost in the movie.
02:18:07.000And then he came back and, like, reformulated as Dr. Manhattan, who's basically a god.
02:18:14.000And he would, like, have sex with his girlfriend, but he would make, like, multiple copies of him that would be constantly doing work, while the one copy of him is having sex with her, and she got all bummed out.
02:23:04.000And you know, he had to get like skin cut off, all the extra skin, and he actually blew through it and had to get that a second time because he gained weight again and then lost it finally.
02:23:15.000So he did, he gained like, I think he said, what did he say, like 100 pounds at one point in time?
02:23:20.000So he lost all this weight, got real thin, had the skin removed, then gained weight back.
02:27:27.000Train smart or where I'm working out and really like getting after it every day and making sure I don't eat stupid shit, my body bounces back quick.
02:27:35.000The problem is when you let that happen, like if I got fat for like a month and then it was a second month, the next thing you know I'm 30 pounds overweight, not 8 pounds overweight, but 30 pounds overweight, like yo, that's when it gets rough, you know?
02:29:38.000When my family and I, when we would go to Maui, one of the first things we did when we rented a car, there's a Krispy Kreme on the way to the beach from the airport, like right out of the airport, like, oh.
02:29:50.000And every year we did it, we're like, we're not doing this again.
02:29:52.000Because we're all like, oh, you eat three or four of those fucking things, and then you feel like shit when you're at the beach, like, oh my god, I feel terrible.
02:30:00.000I'm going through an insulin spike right now.
02:30:02.000My body doesn't know what the fuck to do.
02:32:08.000It's amazing how they sell cheeseburgers and In-N-Out sells cheeseburgers and In-N-Out takes longer to get your cheeseburger but you're gonna go in that line What line, Joe?
02:32:18.000I don't know what you're talking about.
02:34:05.000There's something about those kind of burgers, you know, like a fucking, just a hot burger with melted cheese and like a, like Philip makes.
02:36:15.000You know, like Tim Dillon, like, out where he's at, like, those kind of places, those are nice, man.
02:36:20.000It's just so peaceful at night, and it's like you see the stars, and those bedroom communities, those sort of sleepy communities, until you get a murder-suicide down the block, they're nice.
02:38:01.000It's the same reason why they stopped World War I, so that the Russians and the Germans made a ceasefire, because so many of them were getting killed by wolves.
02:47:02.000But what they've done is an amazing achievement.
02:47:05.000It's brilliant, the way they thought of it.
02:47:08.000They're like, let's do a show where we see stuff that we would watch, like if we were friends, we're just all hanging out, and we couldn't broadcast it anywhere because it would get removed.
02:48:11.000He hasn't been on since, but I wouldn't 100% have him on.
02:48:14.000Yeah, he was in town the other day to do that at your mom's house, and he came to the secret show, and he did a spot and hung out with him.
02:52:47.000So there's shows that livestream only.
02:52:49.000But that was the first sort of internet version of the radio show, where they would stream both on the internet and on the radio at the same time.
02:53:55.000We did like Ice House Chronicles and we did all those shows that we did.
02:53:59.000We were doing a version of O&A. Absolutely.
02:54:02.000When we did those shows at the Ice House in Pasadena where you would go on stage and then the comics would switch out depending on who's on stage.
02:54:27.000Well, we're going to have it set up at the comedy club where when you guys are doing Kill Tony, there'll be another room with an open mic going on simultaneously.
02:55:50.000You know, it was such a good room that agents would not accept tapes from the Ice House because they thought it was too easy to kill there.
02:56:54.000I mean, I don't know what anybody could have done back then in terms of, like, do a podcast simultaneously, because I think probably a lot of their contracts said they couldn't do that.
02:58:42.000There's a few people that are just so good at ranting.
02:58:45.000It's such a beautiful skill to just be able to talk shit about everything.
02:58:49.000And the thing about your mom's house too is they have those guys that are working there that are in the booth and they're all laughing too.
03:00:11.000Because it's like it forces you to punch.
03:00:13.000And you're like punching in the air, like just punching in the air with not hitting anything is actually kind of more exhausting sometimes, especially when you're punching fast because you've got to decelerate too.
03:00:23.000Whereas when you're punching something like a heavy bag, you can just punch it and hit it.
03:00:28.000You'll be able to generate more power by punching and hitting it because you're hitting it and you're actually almost like lifting weights when you're pushing the bag off because there's resistance.
03:04:12.000I remember I went to this local video store and they would charge you if you didn't return a film, but I was too shy to bring back pornos, so I'd rent them and just keep them, charge me.
03:04:35.000Yeah, I've told you this before on the show, but I used to work at a video store, over a 24-hour store, had a porn site, and my kindergarten teacher came in, a woman, buying porn, and I don't think she recognized me, but I recognized her, but it was creepy.
03:06:27.000So the women could have their vaginas open, spread eagle, and pulling their pussy lips aside, and the guy had to have, like, this limp dick.
03:07:00.000We always had a friend with a single dad who would have either the stack of magazines or he had the black box so he had access to the channel that everyone else was scrambled.
03:07:28.000Every year you would get the big book and you would go through all the toys and you had to write down the numbers and order it through the mail.
03:09:54.000He had this whole bit about smoking on a plane.
03:09:56.000There's a video that just came out, like, a couple days ago of this guy, like, last week, just packed a plane and just pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking it.
03:10:45.000Well, they used to say it would when I first took to it, but I took to it some 70 years ago, so it doesn't seem to have had a very great effect so far.
03:10:56.000In fact, you know, on one occasion it saved my life.
03:11:02.000I was in an airplane and A man was getting a seat for me and I said, get me a seat in the smoking part, so if I can't smoke I should die.
03:11:14.000And sure enough, there was an accident, a bad accident, and all the people in the non-smoking part of the plane were drowned.
03:11:22.000And the people in the smoking part jumped into the Norwegian fjord where we landed and were saved.
03:17:47.000And those were the first like Game of Thrones type dragons in a movie because they were like Game of Thrones dragons they weren't you know They were like mythology dragons.
03:18:33.000So around the same time period in China, South America, Africa, Rome, all these places, images depicted people fighting dragons, right?
03:18:43.000And every dragon was slightly different, but it was all a giant, scaly animal that could fly.
03:18:49.000So when you break that down, you think about the fact that large birds had a hard time being fossilized because their bones are so porous, right?
03:18:56.000So because bones, they have like hollowish bones, they break down very easily and they don't fossilize.
03:19:01.000The reason there's no fossils of dragons is because they had bird bones and they were actually very delicate animals.
03:19:07.000But a handful of these small, a small population of these giant flying lizards existed.
03:19:45.000And every now and then I'll pull something out of my ass.
03:19:47.000I'm like, how do I even remember that?
03:19:49.000But I think right now my hard drive is beyond full.
03:19:52.000My discs are skipping, and I try to incorporate new information, and every time I do I have to delete some old shit.
03:19:59.000You know, it's like that thing, Dunbar's number, where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your life, like intimate friendships.
03:20:08.000We've talked about this like 10 times.
03:20:11.000Well, actually, we talked about it recently, and Jamie pulled it up, that it actually is scaled.
03:20:16.000There's like an X amount that are like your close friends, but there are other ones that are like distant acquaintances, and the number gets bigger and bigger.
03:20:23.000It gets to be like 1,500 people or something like that.
03:20:31.000See, there's all these, like, there's five people that are really close to you, and there's 15 close friends, and then 35 acquaintances, and 150 people you know.
03:20:38.000And so this is, as it gets further off, there's, like, more and more distance.
03:20:42.000And you think about guys like us, who have had podcasts with thousands of people.
03:29:32.000If I'm in the car and someone sends me a text message, I don't have to take my hands off the steering wheel.
03:29:36.000You just start, hey Siri, and just tell that bitch what to do.
03:29:40.000And for a comedian, it's one of the best tools ever because you can sit there with a voice recorder on when you're on stage and just record right into the...
03:30:08.000Yeah, just gotta put it in airplane mode.
03:30:10.000Yeah, and then you get two versions of it.
03:30:11.000Yeah, and I usually put it on the stool, the phone on the stool facing the audience, so you get the audience kind of sound, and then, you know, have this in your, for your microphone.
03:30:44.000I know everybody loves fancy, expensive Rolexes and stuff, and that's great if you're going to a nice place or something, but they're not functional.
03:30:54.000There's so much you could do on this watch.
03:30:56.000It's like, why wouldn't you want to be able to get alerts or take phone calls or record something?
03:31:03.000Especially if you're in a bad situation, say, just hit record on your watch real quick, and they don't even know you're fucking recording them.
03:34:51.000And we've been having so many, you know, a lot of people thought when we moved to Austin, you know, the show was going to fucking be shit and not be as good because of...
03:35:00.000We've had some of the best guests just here in Austin every week.
03:35:57.000Those guys are so good at fucking with each other, and they both laugh at each other's things when they say things, and they do it every week.
03:36:04.000There's got to be hours of David Lucas and Tony Hinchcliffe just fucking with each other, which is hilarious.
03:36:11.000Off the cup, and with the band behind them.