Joe Rogan Experience #231 - Dom Irrera
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 2 minutes
Words per Minute
205.05055
Summary
Joe Rogan is joined by comedian Brian Downey ( ) to discuss a variety of topics, including the new Fleshlight product, his love of MyFreeCans, and why he thinks Joe Rogan should be fired from the NFL. Plus, a new segment called Joe Rogans on a Gridiron, which is a show where the guys try to find out who Joe is a gangster on a gridiron and what he's up to. Joe and Brian also discuss the NFL and what it's really like to be a black person in the NFL, and how to deal with a racist fan who spit in your face on Monday Night Football. And, of course, Joe talks about his favorite nootropic, Alpha Brain. This episode is brought to you by The Fleshlight, Onnit, and Kettlebells. Use the code ROGAN10 at checkout to get 10% off your first purchase. They re the best quality kettlebells I ve ever had, and they re made in New York City. They re made by the folks who make the best kettlebell you ve ever heard of, so you re gonna love them. Use code "ROGAN" at checkout and they'll give you 10% all off your order of $10 or $10 off your entire order of a kettlebell. You can't ask for more than $10 and they're selling them as low as $10, they're making them as cheap as that! and they are making them in NYC, too! they're made in Brooklyn, not in Los Angeles, not New York, not San Francisco, not Chicago, not Detroit, not Los Angeles. they re they re in LA, they re making them cheap as they're in LA. . And they re not going to charge you anything but $10% more than you can get them in a bag, they are going to make you a good kettlebell, not $15 off $50 or $50, they'll make you feel like that's better than you're getting a good cup of kettlebell and you'll get it in a cup of coffee, you ll get it for $50 and it's going to feel like you're going to get a better cup of tea and you're gonna feel like it's gonna feel better than that in a good place, you're not gonna get it like that, you can have it in the best place, it's $10 more than that, too.
Transcript
00:00:04.000
The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you for the second time today.
00:00:10.000
By The Fleshlight, the redundancy department of redundancy.
00:00:14.000
You already heard the commercials, but I gotta say them anyway because I have a fucking contractual obligation to a company that sells rubber pussies.
00:00:27.000
Maybe the most effective thing in the world when it comes to getting rid of your loads.
00:00:40.000
Not that you should limit a person and making love to them to just their actual vagina.
00:00:44.000
But when you get down to brass tacks, that's what you're having sex with.
00:00:49.000
The penis, Dominic, it goes into the vagina and it feels pretty good.
00:00:58.000
Oh, there were some girls that were soliciting your attention, Brian.
00:01:16.000
Anyway, Fleshlight, Joe Rogan, enter in the codename Rogan.
00:01:20.000
Enter in the codename Rogan, save yourself 15% off.
00:01:39.000
I'm wanting you to try it just because I enjoy it.
00:01:45.000
It's like, you know, you drink a little cup of coffee, you get a little pick-me-up.
00:01:53.000
It's nutrients that enhance your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters.
00:02:00.000
There's a lot of controversial science behind all this.
00:02:03.000
I use it, and I use it because it's effective, and I've been using it for years.
00:02:08.000
I started using it, and I will give another plug to him because he's going to be on the podcast eventually.
00:02:12.000
Bill Romanowski's Neuro One was the first nootropic that I ever tried, and he concocted this combination of nutrients to help himself after he developed a few concussions from football.
00:02:26.000
He actually said if he didn't see stars, he didn't think he was hitting right.
00:02:38.000
I was in Denver, and we were doing something for Comedy Central, and Romanowski was...
00:03:04.000
He was the one that spit in that guy's face on Monday Night Football.
00:03:15.000
His stuff, Neuro One, is the first nootropic that I ever tried.
00:03:19.000
If you're interested in AlphaBrain, go to Onnit.com.
00:03:21.000
That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off any and all orders.
00:03:29.000
And they are the best quality kettlebells that we could find.
00:03:33.000
And we're selling them as cheap as we can sell them.
00:03:37.000
You only need to buy them once for an entire lifetime's worth of use.
00:03:41.000
And they're, in my opinion, they're my favorite workout piece of equipment.
00:03:45.000
I don't hardly do anything other than I do some bench press stuff.
00:03:49.000
I do a lot of chin-ups and body weight squats and stuff like that.
00:03:53.000
But almost everything else I do is kettlebells because it's just such an effective workout.
00:04:01.000
There's a lot of videos that are available on how to use kettlebells.
00:04:04.000
We'll eventually probably sell them on our site too.
00:04:07.000
We'll probably see if maybe we can buy some from Steve Maxwell.
00:04:12.000
Because I think, in my opinion, he's like one of the greatest kettlebell instructors alive.
00:04:15.000
And I've had the good pleasure of being trained by him a couple of times, so I can vouch for his stuff.
00:04:24.000
You can find them from Amazon and a bunch of different places, but any Steve Maxwell video on kettlebells, you can't go wrong.
00:04:30.000
Another one is Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout that Dragon Door sells.
00:04:36.000
We don't have anything to do with any of these videos, but I'm just telling you, if you want to buy some kettlebells, that's what I recommend.
00:04:42.000
Use the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 10% off any and all orders.
00:05:03.000
Joe, you know how we're always doing the Irish accents to each other?
00:05:13.000
I mean, it was like, I told you over the phone, but I go in and I'm in Galway.
00:05:19.000
Don Moreira, for fuck's sake, we heard you with Joe Rogan.
00:05:22.000
One kid goes, I started doing martial arts because of Joe.
00:05:26.000
Do you realize you have an effect around the world?
00:05:33.000
I don't think men are represented fairly in the media.
00:05:36.000
I don't think there's enough actual, you know, guys that are telling you what's really going on from their honest perspective as someone that you can relate to.
00:05:45.000
You know, I think a lot of people are full of shit.
00:05:47.000
I think a lot of men could use some martial arts training.
00:05:55.000
It seems like it wouldn't, but it really does work.
00:05:57.000
You know, when I was a martial arts guy only and I got into comedy, I was almost embarrassed of having something to do with martial arts because it seemed so douchey.
00:06:05.000
It doesn't seem like that would be funny at all.
00:06:08.000
Joe, even people that beat the shit out of other people want to have a laugh once in a while.
00:06:20.000
And it's beautiful when I hear stuff like that.
00:06:27.000
Every night, guys came because they heard me on the podcast.
00:06:33.000
I get people sending me pictures of their kale shakes.
00:06:41.000
Kevin James lost 80 pounds for this movie where he played an MMA fighter.
00:07:02.000
And he really could have been a fighter if he ever chose to go down that path.
00:07:13.000
He's like a real athlete, even though he's this big guy.
00:07:16.000
So he lost all this weight and he looked so good.
00:07:21.000
And he said, the most important thing is everything.
00:07:35.000
And the idea was you have this thing called a Vitamix.
00:07:51.000
Every time I do it, it's like a little victory.
00:08:01.000
But I was just saying, but nutrient-wise, it's incredibly dense.
00:08:06.000
Your shit comes out like it's just lubed up and on one of those water slides.
00:08:18.000
My shits, when I have these kale shakes, are spectacular.
00:08:19.000
You wish you could invite people to do one of your shittings.
00:08:22.000
I wish people could, if I could record it and then play it back for you, you could feel how great it feels when it's so gently, effortlessly pours out of my ass.
00:08:48.000
And that's like people send me these pictures now all the time of their kale shakes.
00:09:00.000
And I noticed, yeah, Kevin was in a great mood, talking, laughing.
00:09:03.000
As soon as the food came, he was like on a mission.
00:09:08.000
Well, that's when Kevin had gotten back to eating again.
00:09:11.000
Yeah, that was, because he had really like, he's all in or nothing.
00:09:15.000
He's like, he's kind of like me in a lot of ways.
00:09:18.000
And one of the ways is that we get crazy about things.
00:09:20.000
You know, he'll get crazy about golf and just be like, fuck, I'm going to play golf all day for a year.
00:09:31.000
I played a dude the other day and we only played a race to five.
00:09:38.000
For me, pool is like a three or four hour experience.
00:09:44.000
Like I said to you, you have the marathon runner and I have a sprinter mentality.
00:09:51.000
If I'm doing really well, I can't wait to get the fuck off because I'm doing really well.
00:09:58.000
Yeah, but you love to be up there for a couple hours, and it's great.
00:10:06.000
Well, I think also you have to factor in the audience's energy.
00:10:11.000
I've done some stupid two-and-a-half-hour shows, and the problem with that is people don't want to hear you talk for two-and-a-half hours.
00:10:18.000
And then the end of it, it always became like this question and answer section.
00:10:23.000
And it felt to me like what I was doing was I was having this killer hour and ten minutes of comedy, and then I was ending it with like an hour of mediocrity.
00:10:32.000
And I was like, this is like the question and answer sometimes would be awesome, but sometimes it would just sort of become a fucking yell fest.
00:10:43.000
You know the Dave Chappelle thing with the five hours?
00:10:51.000
And I said to the booker of the club, I said, did he do material?
00:10:59.000
He asked one guy where he was from three times.
00:11:07.000
Well, you know, if people are willing to just sit there and you just sit around talking, does that still stand up?
00:11:14.000
You know, it's like your stand-up is you're a craftsman.
00:11:19.000
When you go up there, you've got jokes, you've got punchlines, you've got setups.
00:11:22.000
You can't wait to get to them because they're killer.
00:11:42.000
Do you know how to write a joke or you just say funny things?
00:11:46.000
What I do is I write blogs, like blog entries, and then in writing about something, since there's no pressure to be funny, then I get the ideas for jokes out of that.
00:11:57.000
Or I have ideas and I'll slowly work them out on stage.
00:12:03.000
It's just this idea that's been fucking with me, and then I go on stage and I try it one way, and then I say, well, that idea was missing something, and I'll try it another way the next time, until eventually I get it.
00:12:13.000
I had dreams the last two weeks of shit that was killing in my dream.
00:12:23.000
But I was having this dream about organic alcohol.
00:12:26.000
What was the one that you told me when we were playing pool?
00:12:35.000
I mean, you know, what's a relief if they get off?
00:12:40.000
And I'm fucking like, there was a part of me that I think I knew I was asleep and I said, I can't wait to wake up to fucking write this down.
00:12:56.000
I know I've had dreams where I was killing on stage.
00:12:59.000
I'm going, God, this is the best stuff I've ever written.
00:13:03.000
Then I woke up, I'm like, what are you talking about, idiot?
00:13:08.000
When I was first moving to New York, And my dream was I had a job, and it was involved.
00:13:14.000
I had to sit in soup to see how long scientists would stand around with these charts, see how long it took soup to cool.
00:13:22.000
And I remember sitting in the soup, and I was like, ah, it's fucking hot, ah, ah.
00:13:38.000
I think if you laugh a lot and you're used to laughing a lot, it's more likely that you're going to laugh in dreams.
00:13:43.000
Yeah, I wonder if Bert Kreischer just sits there and laughs nonstop in his dreams.
00:13:47.000
I'll tell you what, Bert is a happy motherfucker right now.
00:13:51.000
I've never met anybody who's more thankful for his success and things that are going well in his life and so happy.
00:14:00.000
I always wonder about guys who are always depressed, like Marc Maron.
00:14:05.000
But Marc is one of those guys that was always so depressed.
00:14:08.000
Now he's successful and he's got a really nice girlfriend.
00:14:13.000
I don't know what to do with my feelings because he's so used to being miserable.
00:14:17.000
He's got to be careful, man, because all that is really bad for you.
00:14:25.000
Years of harboring resentment and bad feelings and selfishness like that.
00:14:38.000
One of the things is doing a podcast where you very...
00:14:47.000
When he does these monologues where he talks about things in the beginning of his podcast, he's very honest about all of his transgressions and his thoughts about him in the past and all sorts of different things.
00:15:02.000
So I think it's super therapeutic in a way to do something like that.
00:15:05.000
You can really get over your shit when you broadcast it.
00:15:17.000
It's so dangerous to think that that's the more profound way to think.
00:15:22.000
I never really let somebody else's success diminish me.
00:15:28.000
You've never been a jealous guy ever about anybody.
00:15:30.000
Somebody said one time about Eddie Murphy, does it bother you?
00:15:34.000
What the fuck's Eddie Murphy have to do with me?
00:15:37.000
It's not like if he didn't do 48 hours, I would've.
00:15:40.000
Well, you know what I always loved about you, Dom?
00:15:42.000
Not just that you were a great comic, but you really love stand-up comedy.
00:15:47.000
Everyone had this idea at some point in time in comedy that...
00:15:52.000
I mean, not everyone, but a lot of people in Hollywood.
00:15:54.000
You put together an act, and then you got a sitcom.
00:15:58.000
And then you got a sitcom, and then you went from a sitcom to a movie career, and that's the only way to do it.
00:16:15.000
One guy says to me, he goes, what else you got coming up?
00:16:22.000
And I said to him, I got this Nickelodeon really cool movie and we're going to series.
00:16:38.000
I've seen so many people talk shit on Twitter about random people's careers.
00:16:42.000
Like, whatever happened to RIP to this guy's career.
00:16:52.000
Like sports writers who couldn't make their grade school football teams are critiquing guys like Romanowski, critiquing guys that are great players.
00:17:03.000
Well, I fought kickboxing in Taekwondo, but I've never fought an MMA fight.
00:17:08.000
Yeah, but you would have if it came up when you were coming up, you would have fought them.
00:17:19.000
I'll never forget the fight that I came to see you and the mother and the sister were sitting next to me and the guy that got knocked out.
00:17:31.000
There's a visceral fear that comes from people getting badly KO'd because it looks like they're done.
00:17:39.000
You remember when we went to that fight in Vegas and the guy got hit and the ref caught him?
00:17:48.000
I forget who he was fighting, but it was when Trinidad was really coming up.
00:18:02.000
Was that the one the ref caught the guy before he hit the ground?
00:18:10.000
I don't remember who else we saw fight there, but I remember we saw a couple good fights there.
00:18:17.000
I'm used to it at the UFC because I'm the voice of it, but it's weird when you're sitting there and you don't hear any commentary.
00:18:22.000
Watching guys just fucking get their shit kicked out of each other.
00:18:26.000
Just the sounds of it and the sweat and the blood.
00:18:29.000
Yeah, the impact sounds and the O's of the audience.
00:18:33.000
Oh shit I told you what I realized After seeing that stuff And I want to do it again You know I loved it But I love violence I do I love I just don't like fake violence Like I don't like violent movies Because I don't like that I don't like seeing somebody Like Joe Pesci Be able to beat Some 25 year old stud Because he's the star Right right right I just don't buy that shit Get out of here!
00:18:55.000
You know, Joe Pesci almost got beat up by the bouncer at the Laugh Act.
00:19:04.000
Well, this was a different story then, because I'm talking about Ken.
00:19:11.000
Was that the one where he says, this ain't a movie?
00:19:25.000
And apparently something happened and Joe Pesci, he tried to go crazy with him.
00:19:32.000
And Ken was like, This is a fucking movie, bitch.
00:19:42.000
You'll have to come on the podcast and bust his ball.
00:19:46.000
I want you to come on that podcast and bust his ball.
00:19:50.000
He scream at this guy's fucking movie star, buddy.
00:19:55.000
People that see the podcast are saying, who's the Mexican with you?
00:20:01.000
Jamie Masada, the owner of The Laugh Factory, was a dishwasher at the comedy store.
00:20:05.000
And he decided to pool together some money and start his own fucking business.
00:20:08.000
What kind of money did he get together that he bought The Laugh Factory for?
00:20:11.000
On stage, I always say that he came over here as a...
00:20:21.000
Which, for a Jew, was like a couple million dollars.
00:20:26.000
So anyway, the podcast is called Dom Rare at the Laugh Factory Live.
00:20:30.000
Live at the Laugh Factory, something like that.
00:20:42.000
Once he gets back from Brazil with his fancy friends.
00:20:52.000
I remember I saw him years ago, and then I saw him recently.
00:21:11.000
I love knowing that that whole process of figuring shit out is possible.
00:21:15.000
I love people when their fucking life is falling apart and they pull it together.
00:21:25.000
I'm starting to reach the depths of alcoholism.
00:21:49.000
You can get a marijuana prescription for various ailments.
00:21:56.000
Maybe next time you do the podcast, we'll plan it out.
00:21:59.000
You don't have to worry about driving anywhere.
00:22:15.000
They keep talking about that in the news, and we've talked about this on the podcast before.
00:22:22.000
The THC is so high that this is not your father's marijuana.
00:22:47.000
Did I tell you that one of my best friends is prosecuting the Sandusky case?
00:22:52.000
I knew about this like over a year and a half ago, but they had been gathering evidence, and it's really interesting.
00:23:01.000
We were doing, like, role-playing and trying to see what Sandusky would say if he took the stand.
00:23:09.000
And, like, we're doing things like, why would 10 kids, you know, embarrass themselves or come out?
00:23:22.000
The whole story is so scary because they protected him.
00:23:27.000
When people freaked out, when everybody went on a goddamn rampage because Joe Paterno got fired, I wonder what information they had.
00:23:48.000
Well, what they said happened was he went to another assistant coach, went to his father, and then they went to paternal, and paternal went to somebody else.
00:23:58.000
If I see somebody hurting a kid, bam, I'm out of here.
00:24:01.000
And how do you not beat him to death right there on the spot?
00:24:12.000
If it really happened the way they're saying it happened, I mean, I'm assuming at this point in time that he's guilty.
00:24:24.000
I would certainly not argue it, but I just, you know, for the sake of being fair, the whole thing is fucking horrifying.
00:24:31.000
It's so terrifying that they had this monster protected.
00:24:36.000
If that's really the case, that's so scary to me.
00:24:46.000
The Catholic Church type stuff is fucking horrifying, Tom.
00:24:50.000
We used to have a priest that molested us when I was in summer camp.
00:24:55.000
I was always a light sleeper and afraid of the dark like a real man.
00:24:59.000
And I would have a flashlight on under my sheets.
00:25:07.000
And nobody said anything because he was a priest.
00:25:10.000
And then they just had a whole thing about him.
00:25:12.000
Even though he's dead, they condemned his actions and stuff in the Philly Papers recently.
00:25:18.000
He would just like, you know, jerk off kids in their sleep or play with them or whatever.
00:25:22.000
I don't think he did any of the Sandusky type level stuff because it was mostly a sleep thing.
00:25:28.000
It's amazing when you find out how many of them.
00:25:32.000
Well, apparently the whole not having sex thing, abstinence thing doesn't work.
00:25:37.000
Well, not only does it not work, who's signing up for that?
00:25:41.000
It's not like you go to a different heaven than me.
00:25:43.000
All I have to do is be a good guy and follow God's word, and I go to heaven too.
00:26:00.000
And not only is it terrible, like, how could an organization exist that has this many people that fuck kids?
00:26:08.000
Could you imagine if they just started up tomorrow?
00:26:10.000
If the Catholic Church started up tomorrow, and all of a sudden, you know, like, there was no Catholic Church, and then all of a sudden they said, listen, we just found this new religion, we're really sure this is what Jesus really meant, and they just started fucking kids.
00:26:28.000
Well, you know, the shifting of the people was just as bad as some of the acts.
00:26:34.000
Well, that was Ratzinger, the guy who's the pope right now.
00:26:45.000
And they said, why, you know, with so much molestation?
00:27:13.000
I've been going to Kilkenny more than any of the other Americans.
00:27:19.000
I go in to the grocery store next to the hotel, and this Asian guy calls me Don Moreira.
00:27:52.000
What is cool when you go to a place and you develop friends that you see once a year.
00:28:00.000
I mean, a little town, Kilkenny, walking down the street.
00:28:32.000
I'm telling you I have a problem with drinking.
00:28:33.000
I actually told the audience, I give up, you win.
00:28:43.000
I've never met people less understandable that were speaking English than Northern Ireland.
00:29:04.000
So they must hit the fuck out of each other with those sticks, too.
00:29:18.000
They're beating the fuck out of each other with these sticks!
00:29:26.000
And that's why they think American football is such pussies, because they have so much equipment on.
00:29:39.000
This guy just grabbed the ball, threw it up in the air, and then hit it.
00:29:53.000
You know, I used to wear their shirt when I could still fit into it when I was in Montreal.
00:30:02.000
It's like a cat without whiskers that thinks they can get through any small space.
00:30:12.000
You know what my doctor, Castiglione, said to me?
00:30:14.000
He said to me, Craig Ferguson, because he uses this old kind of language.
00:30:22.000
Yeah, last time you were here, you were talking about how you look like an Inuit.
00:30:30.000
And I can still, even at that look, I can still get women because of my act.
00:30:43.000
And I'm in Atlantic City on the 30th of June at Tropicana.
00:30:57.000
If I was telling my friend McGettigan, who's doing the Sandusky trial, is there any way he could plug my date?
00:31:04.000
I said, well, you know, you go open with Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, Your Honor.
00:31:09.000
This band, Sandusky, has caused so much pain to so many people, unlike comedian Don Marrera, who will be at the traffic camera on June 30th.
00:31:23.000
Talk about taking the credibility away from a trial.
00:31:31.000
He was reading some of the opening statements to me and somebody said, well, was he reading it for you to punch it up?
00:31:49.000
It's amazing that a guy like Sandusky is still alive.
00:31:52.000
You know, with all the negative shit that that guy's done, how is his body still holding up?
00:31:57.000
How about when he waves to people like he's running for office?
00:32:03.000
I mean, if anybody else accused, if you're innocent, if you're accused of all this, you'd be out of your fucking mind.
00:32:17.000
There's so few things in life that disturb people more than someone taking advantage of children.
00:32:23.000
Because they know that the whole future is, that kid's future is fucked.
00:32:27.000
Well, that's the one thing in prison, they say, that child molesters get their ass kicked.
00:32:30.000
Yeah, of course, because a lot of people are tortured.
00:32:37.000
They said, I love when people go, I hope they do that to him in jail, but who's going to want to fuck him?
00:32:47.000
If he goes into the general population, they'll beat him to death eventually.
00:32:52.000
And then if they put him in solitary and isolation, I mean, it seems like they're just going to convict him.
00:32:59.000
I mean, it seems like the evidence is pretty overwhelming.
00:33:02.000
You know what the problem is with these kind of trials?
00:33:07.000
If one person is not sure, then they have to do a retrial.
00:33:14.000
It requires him to be guilty and then you to go back to the whole school and everyone involved and go, how the fuck didn't you see this?
00:33:21.000
After this, the president, the guys who resigned, they have their day in court.
00:33:31.000
I mean, he had cancer, but I mean, he would have fought it.
00:33:36.000
I mean, what a terrible position to be in, you know?
00:33:39.000
Imagine having all those years of incredible success, and he was king of Nittany Valley, you know, Penn State, and then boom.
00:33:56.000
And you know, they're famous for their linebackers.
00:33:58.000
They called it Linebacker U. And you know who was the coach of the linebackers?
00:34:17.000
Well, there's a lot of guys who do really good at coaching because they really like men.
00:34:30.000
Some people really do love kids, and they love to see them successful.
00:34:34.000
I mean, I was a great fourth grade teacher because I fucking loved the kids.
00:34:44.000
I said, but let me tell you, you're never going to be in a...
00:34:49.000
I said, you're never going to be in a bind to go, man, if I only knew the Pythagorean theorem, I'd get out of this gym.
00:34:56.000
I said, pass the marks because I don't want to get in trouble, but basically I want you to go to the gym and have fun in life.
00:35:05.000
That's a great advice if you don't want any mathematicians for the rest of the human history.
00:35:11.000
But the mathematicians are going to come out anyway.
00:35:12.000
Kids that are eggheads who are brilliant in it.
00:35:15.000
You just shouldn't force kids like me who had nothing.
00:35:19.000
Is it possible to teach really complex things and just make it fun?
00:35:23.000
The only thing they couldn't understand, I could never get through to the kids, was the relativity of up and down.
00:35:34.000
I mean, like, you know, people go, well, they don't understand how people in Australia are not upside down.
00:35:41.000
And I could never explain that from a relative point, but they're only 9, 10 years old.
00:35:46.000
Well, it is hard to grasp the whole organic spaceship thing.
00:35:52.000
We're looking for land, looking for property, Dom, looking to settle down, put a house down.
00:35:59.000
The whole earth is a convertible, and it's flying through the universe.
00:36:02.000
A convertible that can be easily hit by another convertible.
00:36:07.000
That's the whole theory about the moon's creation.
00:36:09.000
The most recent theory is that there was Earth 1, and Earth 1 was like a fiery fucking ball of flame or whatever the fuck it was.
00:36:19.000
I don't know what about it was different than Earth 2, but it got hit by another planet.
00:36:23.000
And that created the moon and it changed the whole orbit of Earth and changed the atmosphere and that's the reason why everything exists today.
00:36:30.000
I mean the reason why we're able to sustain life because our temperature is remarkably consistent because of the fact that we have a moon.
00:36:40.000
I don't know how it stays within a couple of degrees.
00:36:47.000
Somehow or another, like, its gravity interacts with us.
00:36:52.000
I mean, we're supposed to understand what makes things float in space and what makes things stick to those things.
00:36:58.000
I used to have a fear when I went to the beach that I would be sucked up into the air and gravity wouldn't work just for me.
00:37:04.000
I swear, just that day, all of a sudden, I'm going, fuck gravity.
00:37:09.000
Gravity is a crazy thing to wrap your head around.
00:37:13.000
When you get outside of the gravity of the Earth, so you pass a certain distance from the Earth where it no longer pulls on you, you can float.
00:37:28.000
Just as soon as you get out of the ionosphere...
00:37:46.000
But I don't know at what height you can start floating.
00:37:50.000
What height do you come crashing to your death, and what height can you just float around?
00:37:57.000
I was doing a roast with, who was the first man on the moon?
00:38:08.000
I did a roast, and I remember saying, like, what the fuck could scare you?
00:38:14.000
Can I imagine sitting in a ship going, boys we're off to the moon today.
00:38:25.000
Joe, are you telling us that nobody ever really went to the moon?
00:38:28.000
I think it's very possible that people went to the moon.
00:38:31.000
It's also very possible they faked the whole thing.
00:38:34.000
Well, if they did, it was like the best orgasm I ever had.
00:38:40.000
People think I'm retarded for thinking this, and they're right.
00:39:17.000
I used to work with him on the old Gary Shaling show.
00:39:24.000
I remember when I was a kid, I was about 13 years old, and this girl was telling me how cute she thought Tom Petty was.
00:39:34.000
And I was like, Tom Petty is such a bad motherfucker that this girl, they think he's cute.
00:39:51.000
Well, there's a few dudes out there that will marry, you know, famous monsters.
00:39:57.000
That'll pick up a good looking guy that's kind of lost and clueless.
00:40:04.000
There's girls that are powerful women that have himbos.
00:40:12.000
But women will genuinely, legitimately be attracted to some really successful gross guys.
00:40:23.000
I know you had something to say about the subject.
00:40:34.000
I mean, the whole thing about makeup and getting ready.
00:40:48.000
And now she's, you know, now she's getting along in her age.
00:40:53.000
And she's got all this plastic surgery and shit.
00:41:08.000
And I wonder if what she's doing, if that's permanent, can you like...
00:41:14.000
You can't like relax and stop doing what you're doing that makes your face like that?
00:41:19.000
No, I remember I worked with somebody who I love, who I don't want to really go into it, but she had had plastic surgery and kept an eye on it.
00:41:27.000
And when she smiled, when she laughed, her face didn't move.
00:41:40.000
Oh yeah, a guy who used to run a casino in Vegas, he had Botox and he was going, give me an emotion.
00:41:58.000
I think you just gotta deal with the fact that you're getting older, bitch.
00:42:03.000
I need to get some Botox for my girlfriend's pussy.
00:42:06.000
You know, you don't say much, but when you come in, bam, the show comes to a lot.
00:42:14.000
Did you feel the halt this show came to when he made that confident?
00:42:17.000
He swings on a lot of pitches, and I'm trying to get him to calm down at the plate.
00:42:24.000
halt, because I heard Don had to leave at 3. Oh, do you have to leave at 3?
00:42:37.000
He's sort of like a suicide bomber for podcasts.
00:42:50.000
They started with Laugh Factory, Dom Herrera Live, or something.
00:42:53.000
Now it's Dom Herrera Live at the Laugh Factory.
00:42:56.000
We should figure out how these people can find this, Tom.
00:43:00.000
I mean, don't you think when you ask me about the Tropicana, I should know how to call it?
00:43:06.000
Yeah, well, you're one of the great comedians of our era, and you're out here with a barely functional website and very little Twitter presence.
00:43:17.000
My goddaughter moved in with me yesterday, so with her living there, she's going to keep me updated.
00:43:27.000
You've given up on the idea of doing it yourself?
00:43:31.000
But you know, my thing is, I have mostly sports things that come to my head.
00:43:39.000
Oh, I'm going to unfollow you if you do one more sports quote.
00:44:19.000
I think it's going to be mostly the Bone Zone guys, but I haven't really put the complete show together.
00:44:40.000
But, Dom, if you're ever around on a weekend, you've got to come and join us on one of these Ice House shows.
00:44:50.000
I was talking to Bob Fisher about when he was saying when you tell the people to come.
00:44:54.000
I said, I was here on a Wednesday night at midnight.
00:44:57.000
There's no club in the city that's packed on Wednesday night at midnight.
00:45:07.000
I'm saying they're smart because they laugh at us.
00:45:16.000
It's by what those guys in Ireland were saying.
00:45:19.000
It's by just telling people, you know, what's helped you.
00:45:27.000
My nephew's 20, and he's never been more excited about me being on anything since Hey Arnold, right, when he was a kid.
00:45:35.000
Because they don't really relate to, like, Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld and all.
00:45:42.000
They love like you with the tough, you know, AMA guy who's funny.
00:45:59.000
Well, if there's anything we could do to make this world a little bit better place is help the young men.
00:46:07.000
Help the young men that are coming up and give them some sort of fucking perspective that's different than the one they're getting every day, either at work or in school or in the media.
00:46:15.000
Getting this perspective that you have to be some asshole who doesn't exist.
00:46:22.000
You have to abide by their silly laws of political correctness.
00:46:30.000
It's a fucking terrible place where people have to live in just this shitty state of despair all the time.
00:46:48.000
I mean, I guess if they were right there in real life, I'd be like, wow, this is crazy to watch.
00:46:54.000
Well, I've seen it a couple times, but once that was like a video where they were actually making a video.
00:46:59.000
And it was like one of the most sexless things I've ever seen.
00:47:08.000
One of the dudes who was a writer for news radio was a porno writer as well.
00:47:18.000
He dated a bunch of girls that were in the business.
00:47:53.000
How does that even fit in to the world that I'm living in?
00:47:56.000
How is it that the woman I love is taking dick in her ass all day at work?
00:48:13.000
And he tells me, he says, you want to go up and watch them shoot porn or up in the penthouse?
00:48:18.000
I said, yeah, I go in and this girl's peeing on this other girl.
00:48:26.000
And then that night, we went up there and me and Sophie, Sophie wanted to see it, my girlfriend, you know.
00:48:34.000
And the girls needed so much attention, but when they weren't getting attention, there's one girl who lays down on the piano, and she goes, you want to see my trick?
00:48:41.000
And she put a cigar holder, like a little capsule that they put cigars in, like a metal thing.
00:48:48.000
She put it inside of her, and she popped it out.
00:48:51.000
But she shot it so hard, it fucking hurt the girl's forehead.
00:48:55.000
She was like, she's standing there, and the girl goes, pew!
00:49:10.000
But you're right about having the wife and, you know, a husband and wife and one of them does porn and the other doesn't and both of them do it.
00:49:18.000
So this dude took me to a set and these girls were doing it.
00:49:33.000
She only had, I don't know if she had any tattoos.
00:49:35.000
Maybe she had a couple, but now she's like fully sleeved and shit.
00:49:40.000
And they were just two girls like eating each other out.
00:49:47.000
The whole thing, watching the cameras, you know, circle them and seeing the lights and the guy with the boom mic.
00:49:59.000
It was just real, almost like clinical or something.
00:50:04.000
It didn't seem like, you know, like if these are two girls and they were just sitting on the couch and all of a sudden one girl just started eating the girl's ass, he'd be like, whoa, what the fuck?
00:50:18.000
But to watch it, like to go and like it's sort of orchestrated and action.
00:50:29.000
I was at the Magic Castle and a friend of mine and one of the dancers from the Cher tour came in who I knew years ago.
00:50:37.000
So I can just say that because there's so many of them.
00:50:40.000
And we go back to my house, and we're by the pool table, and Christy, you know, my old girlfriend comes out, and I shouldn't say her name.
00:50:52.000
And she has huge breasts, and she took her bra off and just had her T-shirt on.
00:50:57.000
They were sticking straight out, and the girl just casually walks over to her, lifts her thing, and starts sucking her tits.
00:51:03.000
And me and my friend, Ollie, we're just, like, there, like, holy shit.
00:51:08.000
And, you know, Russell Peters always does that joke about acting like he's going to jerk you off.
00:51:16.000
He's like, hey, come here, let me take care of you today, tough guy.
00:51:24.000
One of the girls wanted to go down, the other one, that's where I drew the line.
00:51:28.000
Imagine if there were as many, like, really openly bisexual men as there were openly bisexual girls.
00:51:55.000
I know the girls that are in the porn that are girls are all real.
00:52:06.000
Well, I'm not talking about girls that are, like, into hardcore sex, either.
00:52:09.000
I'm talking about girls, like, making out with girls at bars and shit like that, where they don't actually do anything more.
00:52:14.000
There's a lot of that going on, where they're doing it for attention.
00:52:19.000
It's a phrase in high school and college, the girls use.
00:52:33.000
She said she's only going to be a lesbian until she graduates.
00:52:49.000
I've heard gay for the stay for guys that go into prison.
00:53:00.000
Well, you don't watch enough Mexican gang movies.
00:53:10.000
Yeah, you know because you're watching all the time.
00:53:29.000
Joseph, thank you for having me on, my brother.
00:53:33.000
We're back to playing pool at least once a month, it seems like.
00:53:36.000
I'm back after the 4th of July, after I did the Atlantic City gig.
00:53:40.000
I'm taking a couple days there, and then I'll be here for at least a month.
00:53:46.000
This week I'm doing a thing for all the radio guys in Miami Beach, like all the disc jockeys.
00:53:53.000
It's called Boot Camp for all the morning hosts.
00:54:09.000
And then they hire comedians to come and perform at the convention.
00:54:11.000
Oh, I didn't even know that disc jockeys have conventions like that?
00:54:15.000
I mean, I'd heard about it, but I never saw it.
00:54:31.000
That's a legit celebration and gathering of comedians.
00:54:34.000
But after a while, I stopped doing it because it was like it would kind of cost you money.
00:54:41.000
If I spend like a week and a half in a place, I can't spend that much time away.
00:54:50.000
That's why I'm surprised you're going to Brazil.
00:54:56.000
I think you've got to do more than one thing in life.
00:55:08.000
Raging Bull 2. First of all, I guess Jake LaMotta must have all the rights to his own life.
00:55:23.000
It doesn't seem like Raging Bull to me without De Niro and Scorsese, but I heard the script was really good.
00:55:46.000
One day at the Tropicana, one day, Raging Bull 2. Yeah, so this Raging Bull 2, what's the premise?
00:56:15.000
I know that Italy has a city, but that city can go fuck itself.
00:57:06.000
And you're also listed right before that for Pound Puppies, which is cute.
00:57:33.000
But I was really a tough guy looking for a little...
00:57:41.000
Ted, like some famous actor that used to be on that.
00:57:59.000
Bonus features include a lesson on how to draw lucky.
00:58:08.000
That looks like it's designed to rob children of their brain cells.
00:58:33.000
If you could be like a voice of the symptoms, like Harry Shearer.
00:58:56.000
He had like a football head and he lived in a boarding house.
00:59:00.000
He didn't have parents, but his grandparents and all the people loved him and took care of him.
00:59:15.000
You like doing, like, little kid shows and cartoon voices and stuff?
00:59:19.000
It's been such a great contrast for my lives in nightclubs, you know?
00:59:33.000
You know, some kid, she was so dumb, she goes, I was Duke the dog, and I was in my DUI class.
00:59:38.000
I took my, one of my teachers, his kid loved barnyards, so I took a picture of Duke and signed it for her.
00:59:56.000
It's You called the 8 or 9 year old a fucking idiot.
01:00:12.000
You're one of the funniest comics of all time and I'm proud to call you a friend.
01:00:35.000
I promise he will use it as well as this young relative.
01:00:59.000
Especially since they're owned by Facebook now.
01:01:20.000
So you haven't felt that lately you don't like Facebook as much?
01:01:30.000
I use it a little bit for gigs, and I'll answer the occasional email.
01:01:36.000
Go to JoeRogin.net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGIN, save yourself 10%.
01:01:45.000
They should both be 15. They should be 15, goddammit.
01:01:56.000
You can't be like some pervert trying to save 15% off every week, jacking off into fake pussies.
01:02:17.000
We're still trying to get in touch with Josh Barnett, but we've got Giorgio Tsoukalos next week, Jim Norton next week, and...
01:02:26.000
And then on Friday, we've got Adam Skorgy, who is the writer, director, producer of the movie The Union, that cannabis documentary that I was in many years back.