The Joe Rogan Experience - July 04, 2012


Joe Rogan Experience #235 - Josh Barnett (Part 1)


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

198.04028

Word Count

7,849

Sentence Count

847

Misogynist Sentences

38


Summary

This week, the boys talk about the best thing they've ever drunk: coconut water. They also talk about a new case of chia seeds and how they're the most delicious thing they ve ever had. And, of course, there's a little bit of marijuana thrown in for good measure. It's a jam-packed episode you don't want to miss! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thanks to our sponsor, C2O, for sponsoring this episode. This episode was produced and edited by Riley Bray. It was edited by Annie-Rose Strasser. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. The show was mixed and produced by Matthew Boll. Special thanks and shout out to our sponsors, including Amazon, C&O, Alienware, and Mescaline, for making great sound quality and supporting the podcast. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share, and tell a friend about what you think of the podcast! We'll be listening to it on Anchor.fm/TheJoeRoganExperience. Thank you so much for supporting The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast! Cheers, Cheers! Cheers. Cheers Cheers from Joe Rogans and Cheers!! - EJ and EJody. -Jon Soriano and Ej and Elesa. Sarah and Elyssa. -Jon and Erika. Jon and Eudes. <3 Jon & Eles & Ej & EJ & Elyn . Joe and Elicia (and EJ is also EJ's new book "Without a Net" is out there is out now! - on Amazon and Jon is out on the road in the next episode of the show is out in the UK! and they will be coming soon! (Thank you, Jon is also out in Los Angeles, too! ) Also, EJ has a new album out in Australia! on Podchia's book "The Good, the Bad, the Good, The Bad, The Weird, the Weird, The Good, and the Weirdest, the Great, the Beautiful, The Beautiful, the Green, the Sweet, The Great, The Sweet, the Cool, the Yummy, the Amazing, The Strange, The Magical, The Cool, The Green, The Amazing, the Magical, the Nasty, the Chia, the Chill, The Chia and the Good and the Green and the Sweetest, The Deep, the Best, the Dark, the Cheesy, the Deep, The Nastiest, the FUY, the Gourmet, the White, the Vegan, the Positive, The Clean, the Real, The Real, the Sad, the Blond, the Pink, The Yummy and the NUTTY, the JUICY, The Chill, and so much more!


Transcript

00:00:02.000 We're out there, ladies and gentlemen, without a net.
00:00:07.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you today by marijuana.
00:00:12.000 Totally.
00:00:13.000 Let's be honest.
00:00:14.000 Let's just start from the beginning and say that.
00:00:15.000 Yeah, let's say that.
00:00:16.000 We thank a lot of things on this podcast, as we have our sponsors.
00:00:22.000 We thank people, like the Coconut Water people, who are not really a sponsor, Alienware.
00:00:28.000 Who's not really a sponsor, but goddammit, we need to thank marijuana.
00:00:32.000 Yeah.
00:00:33.000 We really do.
00:00:34.000 And fuck naked coconut water.
00:00:36.000 Is that the shit?
00:00:37.000 Yeah, that stuff is terrible.
00:00:38.000 I saw you tweet that.
00:00:39.000 Oh, it's so bad.
00:00:40.000 It's totally different than C2O. C2O is delicious and sweet.
00:00:43.000 Spoiled.
00:00:44.000 People who have had the crappy coconut water, they always talk shit about coconut water.
00:00:47.000 They're like, why do you drink that?
00:00:48.000 Are you trying to be trendy?
00:00:49.000 You have no...
00:00:50.000 I had no idea, okay?
00:00:51.000 I found out from my friend Edwin.
00:00:53.000 He came into jiu-jitsu class and we had...
00:00:56.000 You know, we do mostly no gi jiu-jitsu, but every now and then guys decide to have like a Brazil night.
00:01:04.000 So they put like gis on and brought coconut water.
00:01:07.000 And dude gave me a coconut water, and I was like, well, that was nice.
00:01:10.000 And, you know, I was like looking forward to this fucking watered-down elephant load sort of a taste.
00:01:16.000 You know, it's a terrible taste.
00:01:18.000 And instead it was sweet and delicious.
00:01:21.000 I was like, what the fuck kind of coconut water is this?
00:01:23.000 That's how I found out about C2O. I kept the can and then went online and ordered it on Amazon.
00:01:29.000 And as soon as it got there, I was like, well, let's see if this stuff is just like the stuff that he had.
00:01:33.000 By the way, those cans are hardcore.
00:01:35.000 I bet that when people go through trash and they find those, they're like, oh, fucking jackpot.
00:01:40.000 I bet those things are worth like $2 or something.
00:01:41.000 They would be really good if the end of the world was coming, you wanted to make some sort of a can raft, seal them all up together.
00:01:48.000 Totally.
00:01:48.000 That would work.
00:01:49.000 Yeah, that's hardcore.
00:01:51.000 Yeah, it's so delicious.
00:01:53.000 If you've never liked coconut water, you need to try one of two things.
00:01:56.000 First of all, fresh coconut water.
00:01:58.000 Coconut water that's not pasteurized.
00:02:01.000 Whole foods.
00:02:01.000 They sell it with it already drilled and it has a sticker over it and then just peel the sticker off and drink right from it.
00:02:05.000 It's great.
00:02:06.000 That is the best.
00:02:07.000 Yes.
00:02:07.000 What you can get, that is the best.
00:02:09.000 But C2O is a close fucking second.
00:02:12.000 And when I'm writing, especially when I'm brainstorming in my office, I've got that little refrigerator right next to my desk.
00:02:17.000 I'll drink four or five of those bitches.
00:02:19.000 I've got to get up to pee every 40 minutes.
00:02:21.000 But they're so good.
00:02:23.000 When you're working out hard and you drink some coconut water, it feels like the best thing ever.
00:02:29.000 Gatorade feels pretty good when you're tired and you work out and you need something that's a little more potent than just water.
00:02:38.000 Gatorade feels good, but coconut water feels fucking amazing.
00:02:41.000 It's so delicious.
00:02:42.000 And you feel like you're a healthy savage out there drinking some tropical fruit juice.
00:02:48.000 It's not even juice, it's water.
00:02:50.000 It's delicious shit.
00:02:51.000 Super good for you, too.
00:02:53.000 I like that when you have the actual coconut, though, because then you get to kind of eat the coconut on the inside with like a spoon.
00:02:58.000 You know, C2O just told me they're going to send me a new case that has pulp in it.
00:03:01.000 So it's like we had those from Amy and Brian's, which I like them.
00:03:05.000 You like the pulp?
00:03:06.000 Yeah, it's weird.
00:03:06.000 It's a weird thing.
00:03:07.000 You're drinking something and there's like little chunky chewy things inside of it.
00:03:11.000 But I like it.
00:03:12.000 Yeah, it's like goobers.
00:03:13.000 Yeah.
00:03:14.000 No, it's coconut.
00:03:16.000 It's like you're getting a little chewy coconut.
00:03:18.000 You're getting a little fiber with the milk.
00:03:21.000 Yeah.
00:03:22.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:03:23.000 I like it.
00:03:23.000 It's a weird thing, though.
00:03:24.000 It's an acquired taste.
00:03:25.000 It's like olives.
00:03:26.000 You ever had chia seeds?
00:03:27.000 Like a chia drink?
00:03:28.000 Like the stuff that makes the pet grow?
00:03:34.000 The stuff that you sprinkle on the cheese.
00:03:36.000 Well, could you imagine if somehow or another that was a drug?
00:03:39.000 Well, you know, that is the case with morning glory seeds.
00:03:42.000 Did you know that?
00:03:43.000 Yeah.
00:03:43.000 Morning glory seeds are like super psychedelic, apparently.
00:03:47.000 Some of them are.
00:03:48.000 Apparently, they've done something to some of the morning glory seeds that they sell in certain places.
00:03:53.000 You've got to be careful that they weren't chemically treated to kill the psychoactive effect of them, apparently.
00:03:59.000 But if you get, like, pure morning glory seeds, it has a very, like, LSD-type effect to it.
00:04:05.000 That's pretty fucked up.
00:04:08.000 Brian, did I lose you?
00:04:09.000 No, I was just thinking of how I was going to bring this into a fleshlight commercial.
00:04:13.000 We're rolling, dude.
00:04:14.000 It doesn't matter.
00:04:14.000 Should I take off this logo off your face so they can see the beautiful Joe Rogan?
00:04:17.000 No, don't even do that.
00:04:18.000 Don't even?
00:04:18.000 Just tease him like that?
00:04:19.000 Let's stay in the darkness.
00:04:20.000 All right.
00:04:23.000 Thanks to...
00:04:23.000 Let's fucking mix shit up.
00:04:25.000 Thanks to Onnit.com.
00:04:27.000 Let's go with them first.
00:04:28.000 What the fuck?
00:04:29.000 Why not?
00:04:30.000 I guess I could have a boner during this one.
00:04:32.000 Let's get crazy.
00:04:32.000 Let's close strong with the fleshlight.
00:04:34.000 All right.
00:04:35.000 We have at Onnit.com, that's O-N-N-I-T, just in battle ropes and kettle bells.
00:04:41.000 It's the newest products.
00:04:43.000 If you're familiar with anybody who's ever done any sort of mixed martial arts training, if you've ever watched the UFC countdown shows, two really popular methods of conditioning are kettle bells, And ropes.
00:05:00.000 I personally have never used the battle ropes and I'm looking forward to doing it but I'm a big proponent of kettlebells.
00:05:07.000 It's essentially the only way I lift weights these days.
00:05:10.000 I feel like it gives me like what it is if you've never seen before it looks like a bowling ball with a handle on it.
00:05:18.000 It's a giant ball of lead and you know you can get them as light as 10 pounds and you can get them you know heavy up You know, you get 70-pounders and some dudes can throw around like 120-pounders, like big, giant, crazy dudes.
00:05:32.000 Really unnecessary, though, if you want to get a great workout, you can get a great workout with a 35-pound kettlebell.
00:05:37.000 It sounds ridiculous, but there are some, by the way, which are sold out now because we've been talking about them on the podcast.
00:05:42.000 Really?
00:05:42.000 Yeah, you can't get that.
00:05:43.000 Try buying those videos that we talked about, that extreme kettlebell cardio workout.
00:05:48.000 Dudes are texting me saying that they're sold out everywhere now.
00:05:51.000 So I'm glad because it's a really good product.
00:05:53.000 And I make no money from that.
00:05:54.000 I just want to let you know.
00:05:55.000 Just letting people know what the fuck is good.
00:05:57.000 I think I just got shocked.
00:05:59.000 I think you did too.
00:06:00.000 I saw you move funny.
00:06:01.000 I thought maybe it was a spider bite and you were going to turn into a fucking Spider-Man.
00:06:05.000 I thought this was some sort of viral marketing.
00:06:08.000 Jesus Christ.
00:06:10.000 Isn't there a new Spider-Man this weekend?
00:06:11.000 This place is haunted tonight.
00:06:12.000 It's not haunted, man.
00:06:13.000 We've got issues.
00:06:14.000 I just got shocked.
00:06:15.000 You're going to be okay, sweetie.
00:06:16.000 Ow.
00:06:18.000 Anyway, Onnit.com, go check it out.
00:06:20.000 I took my three alpha brains right before the show.
00:06:22.000 What is alpha brain, Joe?
00:06:23.000 It is a cognitive enhancing supplement.
00:06:25.000 What does that mean?
00:06:26.000 It's called a nootropic.
00:06:27.000 What they are is they're essentially nutrients that are supposed to increase your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters.
00:06:33.000 Now, that coming out of my mouth is just really a bunch of noise because I'm way too fucking stupid to understand the science behind any of that.
00:06:40.000 Thankfully, there have been some really intelligent people that have sort of deciphered it.
00:06:43.000 If you go to Onnit.com, There is a link where you can see the science behind on it and the science behind nootropics.
00:06:51.000 And I suggest if you're interested in any sort of vitamin or supplement or anything that you're going to put into your body, you should do a little research on it.
00:06:59.000 I mean, people don't like to do that, so I just like to take things.
00:07:01.000 But there's a lot of research, pro and con, about nootropics and about even vitamins.
00:07:08.000 I'm a very strong believer in health and nutrition and vitamins.
00:07:13.000 I'm a really strong believer in eating really good food, but I also believe that you help your body with nutrients.
00:07:20.000 I've had personal health issues that I've helped with vitamins.
00:07:24.000 I know they have a positive effect on your body.
00:07:27.000 I think you have to just be careful about what you take into your body on a regular basis.
00:07:33.000 And if you're interested, In any sort of nootropic formula, whether it's Onnit, Alphabrain, or Bill Romanowski stuff, Neuro One that I've talked about before, or any of a number of mixtures that people put together online, just Google it.
00:07:50.000 Google.
00:07:50.000 Look into that shit.
00:07:51.000 If you're interested in getting Alphabrain, the first 30 pills, when you buy any of our supplements, the first 30 pills are 100% money-back guarantee.
00:07:59.000 If you don't like it, you don't even have to send back in the product.
00:08:02.000 You just say, this isn't for me.
00:08:03.000 That's how confident we are, first of all, in the product and how much we really want to make sure that nobody feels like they're getting ripped off.
00:08:10.000 That's just a fact.
00:08:11.000 And if you buy it and you don't like it and then we're done, it's okay.
00:08:16.000 Everybody's different.
00:08:17.000 I could not tell you how your brain functions.
00:08:18.000 I could not tell you how your body feels.
00:08:20.000 I know for a fact that there's some supplements that I enjoy, that other people don't enjoy, and some shit that they use that I try and it doesn't do anything for me.
00:08:30.000 Everybody's system is slightly tweaked in one way or the other.
00:08:35.000 So we want to make sure that no one feels ripped off.
00:08:37.000 But these are really good products and they're products that I have been involved with long before I was in a business relationship with them.
00:08:45.000 I've always been a fan of nootropics and vitamins period.
00:08:48.000 Go check it out.
00:08:49.000 Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, use the codename Rogan, save yourself 10% off.
00:08:53.000 We're also brought to you by our first and Our longest friend in this podcast venture, the Fleshlight.
00:09:01.000 I just came already from battle ropes.
00:09:04.000 Now I don't even have a hard-on for this Fleshlight.
00:09:06.000 Why?
00:09:06.000 How did you come from battle ropes?
00:09:07.000 Because I was thinking about them.
00:09:09.000 Battle ropes make you come?
00:09:10.000 Girls with really big boobs swinging those battle ropes around naked.
00:09:14.000 I would think that you would be worried about that because those girls maybe could kill you with their hands.
00:09:18.000 And a girl could whip those battle rubs around.
00:09:21.000 Did you know Fleshlights sell toys now for women?
00:09:24.000 Like really high-end vibrators?
00:09:26.000 Like big dicks?
00:09:27.000 No, no, like really good vibrators now.
00:09:30.000 Oh, really?
00:09:31.000 Yeah, for women.
00:09:31.000 They're new?
00:09:32.000 They're new products?
00:09:33.000 Like high-end versions.
00:09:34.000 High-end?
00:09:35.000 Yeah.
00:09:35.000 Like a Mercedes?
00:09:36.000 Like what is it?
00:09:36.000 Well, not just like a cheap-ass, you know...
00:09:39.000 Crappy rabbit or something like that.
00:09:41.000 What is the best one?
00:09:45.000 Is there like a fleshlight of dildos?
00:09:47.000 Yeah.
00:09:48.000 What is it?
00:09:48.000 Is it the rabbit or something?
00:09:50.000 I'm paranoid.
00:09:50.000 I'm getting shocked.
00:09:51.000 Yeah, you could die over there.
00:09:54.000 If you die over there, I want you to know I love you.
00:09:58.000 I'm so selfish.
00:10:00.000 I don't care if you die.
00:10:00.000 I just want you to think good about me before you die.
00:10:05.000 I don't know what I'm doing over here.
00:10:06.000 I'm getting shocked.
00:10:08.000 Maybe we should just wrap up these questions.
00:10:11.000 I'm scared to touch everything now.
00:10:13.000 Apparently, Fleshlight has dildos.
00:10:15.000 Well, Brian, we would know.
00:10:16.000 He is the expert.
00:10:18.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:19.000 If there's a guy looking for dildos, I would say, do you think Brian knows what he's talking about?
00:10:24.000 I'd be like, oh, yeah, he knows.
00:10:27.000 That's part of Brian's charm.
00:10:32.000 He knows shit about dildos.
00:10:36.000 Female toys.
00:10:37.000 If you go to Fleshlight.com, they have a thing for female toys.
00:10:42.000 And one of them is, it looks like...
00:10:45.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:10:46.000 Oh, okay.
00:10:46.000 I think these are the kinds that are the enjoys.
00:10:50.000 See, dudes would be way happier with vibrators and dildos and stuff if they weren't shaped like dicks.
00:10:55.000 If, like, the best thing for a woman's pussy was, like, something, you know, mechanical and boxy looking.
00:11:04.000 You know what I mean?
00:11:05.000 Like, with a tongue.
00:11:06.000 And you just clamp it on the clint and it just...
00:11:08.000 If that was like a real sex toy, we would be cool with that.
00:11:12.000 I think what trips guys out is these giant monster phallics.
00:11:17.000 You know, these giant phallic symbols.
00:11:19.000 These giant dildos.
00:11:20.000 These fake dicks.
00:11:22.000 Oh, they sell Lelos.
00:11:23.000 No, that makes sense.
00:11:24.000 They don't make them.
00:11:25.000 Lelos are really high-end vibrators.
00:11:26.000 Like, that's what all the girls in I know.
00:11:28.000 Is that what you're saying?
00:11:29.000 The flashlight sells those?
00:11:30.000 Yeah, they sell them on their own.
00:11:32.000 Yeah, they just sell Lelos, which is the best.
00:11:34.000 Those are the ones that, you know, they're like the alien wares.
00:11:38.000 The alien wares of dildos.
00:11:41.000 Wow, that's really sweet.
00:11:43.000 That's cool.
00:11:45.000 Brian, you are a silly bitch.
00:11:46.000 You're a silly bitch.
00:11:47.000 How dare you?
00:11:49.000 Anyway, Fleshlight has been a long time sponsor of the podcast.
00:11:53.000 It's an embarrassing subject for some folks.
00:11:57.000 It makes me cringe whenever we have a serious guest on the podcast.
00:12:01.000 I have to mention the fact that we're sponsored by a rubber pussy.
00:12:05.000 But it's a good product, folks.
00:12:07.000 It is what it is.
00:12:09.000 Everybody needs to settle the fuck down.
00:12:12.000 Alright.
00:12:12.000 Hit the music.
00:12:14.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 15% off.
00:12:17.000 The number one sex toy for men.
00:12:18.000 That's right, bitches!
00:12:21.000 And just when you thought it was impossible to do that commercial any differently.
00:12:25.000 The Joe Rogan experience.
00:12:27.000 Train by day!
00:12:28.000 Joe Rogan podcast by night!
00:12:30.000 All day!
00:12:32.000 That's a nice one.
00:12:35.000 Josh Barnett.
00:12:38.000 Josh Barnett is one of those old school savages that will actually try to drive a 1969 Oldsmobile.
00:12:45.000 He like drives that shit like it's a regular car.
00:12:48.000 Like he actually gets on the highway and is like, I'm gonna go somewhere in my 1969 Oldsmobile.
00:12:53.000 So his crazy ass...
00:12:55.000 Drove all the way from Orange County on the 405, which is stopped dead like a parking lot 90% of the time.
00:13:01.000 So he drove...
00:13:02.000 That's a big exaggeration.
00:13:05.000 It's not even 50% of the time.
00:13:07.000 But when it's stopped dead, it's a motherfucker.
00:13:09.000 It is a motherfucker.
00:13:11.000 It's hard to wrap your head around how long it's going to take you because if you look, there's like...
00:13:15.000 Is there five or six lanes on each side?
00:13:18.000 In some spots, at least five.
00:13:20.000 At least five, maybe six lanes on each side.
00:13:23.000 And when I am talking about, there's no room.
00:13:28.000 It's just all car for miles.
00:13:31.000 There's no space in between the cars.
00:13:33.000 So even if they started at the beginning, they start at the front of the line, and that guy moves ahead, and the next guy moves behind him, and they all pick up speed to highway speed, you're there for a fucking hour.
00:13:44.000 Right.
00:13:44.000 Because just getting these cars to move is insane.
00:13:47.000 It gives you this sense of futility.
00:13:50.000 It's like, you look at it and you're like, these numbers are impossible.
00:13:53.000 Is anybody monitoring these numbers?
00:13:55.000 What happens when they get completely untenable?
00:13:58.000 What happens when they're just unmanageable?
00:14:00.000 What happens when it's just so beyond belief, when there's so many cars, no one can move anywhere?
00:14:05.000 What do we do then?
00:14:07.000 We fly.
00:14:08.000 I'll tell you what we don't do.
00:14:10.000 We don't drive 1969 Oldsmobiles on the highway like they're real cars.
00:14:14.000 I'm having so much fun with my car.
00:14:16.000 I haven't owned a car that I've enjoyed for a very long time.
00:14:20.000 I now enjoy flying around in my car.
00:14:25.000 Yeah, well, when you get used to a nimble car that can move around.
00:14:28.000 We were talking about this earlier.
00:14:32.000 I was actually talking about it with the staff.
00:14:35.000 When you see a 1969 Corvette or something like that, that's like a work of art made by a bunch of people in a factory.
00:14:44.000 They put that thing together and they screwed those bolts in place and they made that thing.
00:14:48.000 And it has this work of art sort of a quality to it that makes it really cool.
00:14:53.000 But those things drive like shit.
00:14:55.000 Shit.
00:14:56.000 Those things are ridiculously bad.
00:14:58.000 They're not balanced right.
00:14:59.000 They go around corners all fucked up.
00:15:02.000 Like, old muscle cars are the dopiest fucking things to drive ever.
00:15:05.000 They're really dangerous for the most part, unless you've completely upgraded their brakes.
00:15:11.000 You know, like I was talking to Bill Burr.
00:15:12.000 Bill Burr has like a 1950 pickup truck.
00:15:14.000 It's so cool.
00:15:15.000 It's so cool.
00:15:16.000 It sounds awesome.
00:15:18.000 It's like you open the hood.
00:15:19.000 You could climb in there with the engine and, you know, polish it with a toothbrush.
00:15:24.000 I mean, it's so big.
00:15:25.000 I mean, the whole thing is just ridiculous.
00:15:27.000 And you look at it and you can actually think like, oh, I could actually work on this car if I had to.
00:15:32.000 You know, like I worked on my car growing up.
00:15:34.000 My dad made me work on cars growing up and I actually could see like, all right, that's the engine.
00:15:38.000 That's the, you know, the Alternator.
00:15:40.000 That's the clutch.
00:15:42.000 That is the thrill about those kind of cars.
00:15:45.000 You can go to some dealership and buy old parts for an old Corvette.
00:15:54.000 You can order them.
00:15:55.000 You can go somewhere.
00:15:57.000 I know year one they make parts for all old cars.
00:16:01.000 They make replacement fenders.
00:16:03.000 They started manufacturing shit.
00:16:05.000 Because so many people loved taking old cars and redoing them.
00:16:09.000 And this Josh Barnett is silly for that shit.
00:16:12.000 He loves it.
00:16:13.000 He loves cars.
00:16:13.000 If you look at his Twitter, it's all death metal and muscle cars.
00:16:19.000 Josh Barnett's a savage.
00:16:22.000 He's a legit savage.
00:16:23.000 You look at him, he's clearly got some crazy Viking gene thing going on.
00:16:28.000 He wants to dominate the world.
00:16:29.000 He drives muscle cars and listens to death metal.
00:16:31.000 It's going to be a fucking awesome podcast, Brian.
00:16:33.000 I'm excited.
00:16:34.000 It's epic.
00:16:35.000 But right now, he's stuck in traffic.
00:16:39.000 So what's up?
00:16:40.000 This weekend's gonna be fun, man.
00:16:41.000 Yeah.
00:16:42.000 We're gonna have a great UFC. Yeah, this weekend is Chael Sonnen versus Anderson Silva 2, the rematch.
00:16:49.000 That's gonna be scary.
00:16:51.000 You should stay an extra day and do the rehab thing with us.
00:16:53.000 Yeah, why don't you talk about what you're doing, because I don't know if I will be able to.
00:16:57.000 We're in talks right now, and it might start as early as Sunday.
00:17:00.000 If you're in talks, maybe you shouldn't announce it.
00:17:01.000 No, no, it's fine.
00:17:03.000 It's already...
00:17:04.000 Okay.
00:17:05.000 We already announced it on that last night a show.
00:17:07.000 I didn't mean like completely tease them.
00:17:09.000 Right.
00:17:10.000 Just a little bit.
00:17:10.000 Okay.
00:17:11.000 I will.
00:17:12.000 Yeah, every Sunday we're going to start podcasting live from rehab, which is at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.
00:17:20.000 You should bring penicillin with you to Vegas.
00:17:23.000 Okay.
00:17:23.000 No, I know.
00:17:24.000 I think it's dangerous.
00:17:25.000 I think I have to really, like, I'm going to fly in, do it, and fly out.
00:17:29.000 Oh, yeah, totally.
00:17:30.000 You're totally going to do that.
00:17:31.000 I think I'm going to start doing that.
00:17:32.000 Cocaine.
00:17:34.000 I'm just going to go all in.
00:17:36.000 Yeah, you've got to be careful.
00:17:37.000 Yeah, that's dangerous, right?
00:17:39.000 No, I'm just kidding.
00:17:39.000 Your liver.
00:17:40.000 But I guess the DJ is the guy from Jersey Shore.
00:17:43.000 Which one?
00:17:43.000 Pauly?
00:17:44.000 No, the one that always has the really nice hair.
00:17:47.000 That...
00:17:48.000 You know what I'm talking about?
00:17:49.000 I think that's Pauly D. His hair sticks straight up.
00:17:53.000 Is that his name?
00:17:54.000 Yeah.
00:17:54.000 He DJs the whole thing.
00:17:55.000 I met the situation when we were in Houston.
00:17:57.000 He's a nice guy, right?
00:17:58.000 He's a very nice guy.
00:17:59.000 Very nice guy.
00:17:59.000 Give me a big hug.
00:18:00.000 Really friendly.
00:18:01.000 Not a bad guy at all.
00:18:02.000 I think it's funny.
00:18:03.000 He's trying to make something out of an opportunity.
00:18:07.000 Came up.
00:18:08.000 The kid ran with him.
00:18:08.000 He's got a great personality.
00:18:09.000 People like him.
00:18:11.000 You can make fun of him all day, but that kid's making millions of dollars by showing his abs.
00:18:15.000 And he's just partying.
00:18:17.000 It's really kind of cute.
00:18:19.000 He ain't a bad guy.
00:18:21.000 He ain't a bad guy at all.
00:18:22.000 I mean, I see him on the show.
00:18:23.000 Look, followed me around when I was 21. You'd think I was a way bigger douchebag than that guy.
00:18:28.000 He ain't a bad guy.
00:18:30.000 Yeah, it's up to be UFC and then maybe rehab and then Doug Benson's show.
00:18:35.000 Where's Doug Benson's show?
00:18:36.000 Palm Station.
00:18:36.000 Sunday night?
00:18:37.000 Yeah, he's doing a live podcast type thing.
00:18:39.000 I predict chaos.
00:18:41.000 Doug Benson.
00:18:42.000 The whole weekend.
00:18:43.000 They better not try to smoke weed at a Doug Benson show at the Palace Casinos.
00:18:47.000 You've got to be careful about that.
00:18:49.000 Because a lot of people in Vegas are from old school Vegas.
00:18:51.000 If you ever fear and loathing in Las Vegas, the classic work of my favorite author, Hunter Thompson, and he had that whole thing about they were on their way to Barstow when the drugs began to take hold.
00:19:03.000 I mean, it's fucking great, but that Vegas of, like, fear and everything was illegal, and if you got caught with pot, you would do life in jail.
00:19:11.000 Like, if they pulled you over for pot, you could do 20 fucking years, and that's not bullshit.
00:19:15.000 And there's probably a lot of people who did.
00:19:18.000 Probably a lot of kids who got high in California, drove on the way to Vegas and got arrested, and spent years in jail.
00:19:24.000 I mean, it's really scary.
00:19:25.000 It's scary to stop and think about that.
00:19:27.000 And the people that are running a lot of those casinos, those guys have been...
00:19:30.000 Well, I started out in the Dunes in 69, and then I moved over to, you know, those fucking old school guys, they don't fuck around, man.
00:19:38.000 You can't be thinking you're going to light up joints at one of those local casinos, you know?
00:19:44.000 Yeah.
00:19:44.000 Oh, no, you just don't do it.
00:19:46.000 I mean, that's why you just drink heavily and make really bad decisions, and you don't remember anything, and it stays there.
00:19:51.000 And it's the Palace Station.
00:19:53.000 Yeah, Palace Station Sunday.
00:19:54.000 Those are all owned by Zufa.
00:19:56.000 Oh, really?
00:19:57.000 Yeah, well, the same guys.
00:19:58.000 The same guys, the Fertitta Brothers.
00:19:59.000 Oh, shit.
00:20:01.000 I should say the Fertitta Brothers own Zufa and Zufa owns UFC because that's actually how it works.
00:20:06.000 But yeah, they got some cash.
00:20:08.000 So I could get in trouble and I'll be safe?
00:20:12.000 Don't say that.
00:20:13.000 No, it might be the exact opposite.
00:20:15.000 Yeah.
00:20:16.000 You might be a liability.
00:20:17.000 Right.
00:20:18.000 He might dig a hole for you out there in the fucking sand.
00:20:21.000 Listen.
00:20:21.000 Old school.
00:20:22.000 Keep it together.
00:20:23.000 Keep it together, Rykel.
00:20:24.000 No, I just don't think that Doug should encourage anybody to spark up.
00:20:28.000 I didn't even think of that.
00:20:29.000 Yeah, I'm going to have to be in watch.
00:20:31.000 There's places we can get away with that.
00:20:33.000 But most places, no.
00:20:34.000 Especially Doug knows that.
00:20:35.000 You can't smoke a cigarette in a theater.
00:20:39.000 The same reason why you can't smoke a joint.
00:20:41.000 Because I don't want you lighting something on fire, you stupid fuck.
00:20:44.000 I don't trust you.
00:20:45.000 Who knows who's got pure moonshine in their fucking soda bottle.
00:20:51.000 And they spill it, and then someone drops a lighter on it, and we're fucked.
00:20:55.000 And there's a blazing fire inside the comedy club.
00:20:57.000 Oh, you can guarantee that's not going to happen?
00:20:59.000 No, you can't.
00:21:00.000 You shouldn't introduce fire into a room packed with people, period.
00:21:04.000 That's why I don't believe in candles.
00:21:05.000 That's why I love these little things that you've done.
00:21:07.000 These little pods that you've got.
00:21:09.000 These are some little sweet jammies that Brian has.
00:21:12.000 And he's got these little pods all around the room where they...
00:21:17.000 They recharge.
00:21:18.000 There are little batteries in there.
00:21:20.000 And they have different colors.
00:21:21.000 Yeah.
00:21:21.000 And they're almost impossible to turn off, which really frustrates me.
00:21:25.000 How do you get them to change color?
00:21:27.000 I'm just moving them around to change color.
00:21:28.000 There's no rhyme or reason in the directions.
00:21:31.000 The directions are purposely insane.
00:21:34.000 They don't have anything to do with the product at all.
00:21:36.000 And I think they just do it to fuck with you because you're like, anyone that buys these, they're just going to trip out anyway.
00:21:43.000 You know what?
00:21:43.000 We've got to think who would buy these.
00:21:44.000 If I was the government, this is exactly what I would do.
00:21:46.000 I would take the first GPS tracking devices that we distribute out there into the world and target stoners.
00:21:55.000 So lava lamps, I would arm those and these fucking silly lights.
00:21:59.000 I would only go after the stoners.
00:22:01.000 They need some lava lamp technology.
00:22:03.000 They need to put LCD screens Inside the lava and then so like when you're watching a lava lamp, it's just like warp TVs or something like that.
00:22:10.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:11.000 Like what if it was like the liquid was like a TV screen?
00:22:14.000 Oh wow, so like you could have like that technology.
00:22:17.000 That would be annoying.
00:22:18.000 It'd be weird, but you could have it tuned into anything.
00:22:20.000 Well, you know what would be cool?
00:22:21.000 It would be cool for a wall effect.
00:22:23.000 It would be cool if you projected it on a wall.
00:22:25.000 Yeah.
00:22:27.000 Projected lava lamp?
00:22:28.000 Yeah.
00:22:28.000 I think they do that at most radio clubs.
00:22:30.000 Well, they fake it.
00:22:32.000 They don't project an actual lava lamp.
00:22:34.000 They project a video of a lava lamp, perhaps.
00:22:37.000 It's all video.
00:22:38.000 They don't actually project the lava lamp itself.
00:22:42.000 What?
00:22:43.000 What?
00:22:43.000 Exactly.
00:22:44.000 Have you ever been to that rehab, though?
00:22:46.000 Have you ever been to one of those parties?
00:22:47.000 I don't think so.
00:22:48.000 Maybe.
00:22:49.000 Long time ago, maybe.
00:22:52.000 Those things are fun, man, but you can get sunburnt, and you get fucking drunk out there, and gotta be careful.
00:22:58.000 Don't fall in and drown.
00:23:00.000 Yeah.
00:23:00.000 Just look at this, though.
00:23:01.000 You gotta wonder how many people are peeing in that water, because it's not just one.
00:23:07.000 Look at this shit, though.
00:23:07.000 This is like spring break.
00:23:09.000 It's crazy.
00:23:11.000 And it's just insane.
00:23:12.000 Dude, Vegas is on another level.
00:23:14.000 It is on another level of debauchery.
00:23:16.000 People are just tightly wound, and Vegas is the one place where it's okay to make out with your girlfriend.
00:23:24.000 You know, and girls start making out with each other for the first time, and look at that, see?
00:23:28.000 Right there.
00:23:28.000 Right when I said that, on cue.
00:23:31.000 On cue.
00:23:32.000 Was it a tranny?
00:23:33.000 Yeah.
00:23:33.000 Well, you're going to get a little of that every now and then.
00:23:35.000 Wow, these girls are grinding on each other and grinding on guys.
00:23:38.000 Imagine podcasting here.
00:23:39.000 I don't think that would be good.
00:23:40.000 I don't think those are our people.
00:23:42.000 You don't think these...
00:23:43.000 I think the only way it would work is if everyone here just branched off and fucked and got this out of your system.
00:23:50.000 There's no way you could put on a podcast with so much slinging dick and pussy all over the place.
00:23:56.000 Who's going to give a fuck about anything we have to say?
00:23:58.000 You're going to be thinking about, I think I can fuck her.
00:24:01.000 I think she wants to fuck, and she's thinking, I think he's going to fuck me.
00:24:04.000 Oh my God, should I let him fuck me?
00:24:06.000 And then you're doing shots together, and the next thing you know it...
00:24:09.000 We're floating the river thing.
00:24:10.000 Yeah, you've got to fuck, get that shit out of your system, then come down and listen to us assholes rant.
00:24:16.000 Because otherwise, you're not going to be interested.
00:24:19.000 Why would you be interested in anything that we have to say?
00:24:22.000 There's so much pussy everywhere.
00:24:24.000 That's insane of this.
00:24:25.000 This is why the Arabs hate us, bro.
00:24:27.000 Videos like this.
00:24:28.000 Videos like this get out.
00:24:30.000 And they don't even let chicks wear their fucking regular dresses.
00:24:33.000 You have to wear burqas and shit.
00:24:34.000 You know?
00:24:35.000 Islamic fundamentalists, they look at this as this is the downfall of Western civilization.
00:24:39.000 This is Babylon to them.
00:24:41.000 You know, of course it's all ridiculous.
00:24:42.000 And of course, you know, they're completely hypocritical for the most part.
00:24:46.000 The guys, even the guys that were on the planes that flew into the Twin Towers, those guys were at strip clubs like a couple of nights before.
00:24:54.000 But...
00:24:55.000 This is what they point to.
00:24:57.000 If you want to point to the decline of Western civilization, they point to all this undisciplined life.
00:25:05.000 But what they don't understand is they live in a place where you have to be strict and disciplined.
00:25:09.000 You live in a fucking shitty desert.
00:25:11.000 If you live in a terrible, terrible environment and everyone is really strict and really harsh and mean, it's because the environment you live in sucks.
00:25:20.000 No one can relax.
00:25:21.000 So the only people that survive are the people that are super hardcore.
00:25:25.000 If the road ends, Vegas would be safer than L.A., though, right?
00:25:30.000 Because I know there's no water or anything really there.
00:25:33.000 Oh, sure there is.
00:25:34.000 There's Lake Mead.
00:25:35.000 There's a big lake there.
00:25:36.000 I think it's a fake lake, though.
00:25:38.000 I don't know if it's an artificial lake.
00:25:40.000 It might have been built by a dam or something like that, but it's there.
00:25:43.000 And it's awesome.
00:25:44.000 And they have striped bass in there.
00:25:46.000 You could go fishing in there.
00:25:48.000 But yeah, I think Vegas is probably safer than LA. I don't think they would...
00:25:52.000 If they're attacking America, they want to attack our banking system.
00:25:56.000 If someone was trying to be a terrorist, they would try to attack massive population centers.
00:26:00.000 Vegas, for all its craziness, doesn't really have that many people living there.
00:26:04.000 It's a fairly small town.
00:26:05.000 It'd be easy to escape.
00:26:07.000 Well, I just...
00:26:08.000 If the shit hits the fan...
00:26:10.000 The resources are going to run dry really quick.
00:26:12.000 You're not going to be able to bring in any food.
00:26:14.000 And then it's like, what are you eating?
00:26:16.000 What do you eat?
00:26:16.000 There's nothing there.
00:26:17.000 And it's going to be like it really should be, which is a desert.
00:26:20.000 And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with living in the desert.
00:26:22.000 It's just the only way to live in the desert today, in this world, is you have to have modern power.
00:26:28.000 You have to have food.
00:26:29.000 You have to have supermarkets.
00:26:30.000 You have to be able to get water.
00:26:32.000 That has to come to you if you live in the desert.
00:26:35.000 Because if it's just you living in the desert, you're kind of fucked.
00:26:37.000 There's no food out there.
00:26:39.000 How are you going to grow food?
00:26:40.000 There's no water.
00:26:41.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:26:42.000 Unless you're bringing water in, you can't really live in the desert.
00:26:45.000 So the only way to live in the desert is with modern means.
00:26:49.000 And when the shit hits the fan, if you're living in the desert, those modern means will be useless, and then you've got to get the fuck out of the desert.
00:26:55.000 So probably the best places then would be something like Ohio, Michigan.
00:27:01.000 Yeah, not bad.
00:27:02.000 Not bad, but the winter is a problem.
00:27:04.000 Transportation is a real cunt.
00:27:06.000 You're going to ride horses back and forth everywhere.
00:27:08.000 That's the only way to get around.
00:27:09.000 And you don't want to go too far on a fucking horse.
00:27:11.000 You don't want to do that.
00:27:12.000 You don't want to go too far if you have to drag shit, if the horses have to drag lumber and stuff.
00:27:16.000 You're going to want to be as self-sustaining as possible.
00:27:19.000 That's why we'll have dogs.
00:27:21.000 We'll have sleighs and dogs.
00:27:22.000 We'll be like that shit.
00:27:23.000 It doesn't get that snowy.
00:27:24.000 You can't count on it to be that snowy.
00:27:27.000 That's ridiculous.
00:27:28.000 That doesn't make any sense.
00:27:30.000 Like reindeers.
00:27:31.000 All those chihuahuas, they will all be put to use as horses.
00:27:35.000 No, they trample on each other and we'd hate them.
00:27:38.000 We'd find out how mean they really are.
00:27:39.000 They'd be biting the ones underneath them as they're trying to pull your sled.
00:27:43.000 I was watching old Looney Tunes this weekend because this guy named Fast Eddie told me to watch.
00:27:47.000 He's like, do you remember?
00:27:48.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:27:50.000 You know a dude named Fast Eddie?
00:27:51.000 Yeah.
00:27:51.000 Has he tried to stick his dick in your mouth?
00:27:53.000 No.
00:27:53.000 Not yet?
00:27:53.000 No.
00:27:54.000 I don't know if that's his maiden name.
00:27:55.000 If a guy makes you call him Fast Eddie, yeah, it's my name, Fast Eddie.
00:27:59.000 They call me Fast Eddie.
00:28:00.000 There's one Fast Eddie, alright?
00:28:02.000 And it's Fast Eddie Felson from The Fucking Hustler.
00:28:06.000 It's Paul Fucking Newman.
00:28:09.000 That's who it was.
00:28:10.000 The guy, the original guy.
00:28:11.000 That's Fast Eddie.
00:28:12.000 You can't call yourself Fast Eddie.
00:28:13.000 That's completely ridiculous.
00:28:14.000 He's a guy from the comedy store, do you know?
00:28:16.000 Who?
00:28:17.000 A Hispanic guy?
00:28:18.000 No.
00:28:19.000 But he can't call himself Fast Eddie.
00:28:20.000 If somebody else wants to call him Fast Eddie, that's cool.
00:28:22.000 I don't think he calls himself.
00:28:23.000 First of all, you better be able to play pool, bitch.
00:28:25.000 You want to call yourself Fast Eddie?
00:28:26.000 I don't think he calls himself.
00:28:27.000 I think other people call him that.
00:28:28.000 But they better stop.
00:28:29.000 They better stop.
00:28:30.000 Just one Fast Eddie.
00:28:31.000 Fast Eddie Felsen.
00:28:32.000 What was I talking about?
00:28:33.000 Paul Newman, The Hustler, Jackie Gleason.
00:28:35.000 No.
00:28:36.000 That's what you're talking about, bitch.
00:28:37.000 I think it was 63. I don't remember what year it was.
00:28:40.000 Somewhere in 1960s.
00:28:42.000 Early 60s.
00:28:43.000 But God, what a movie, man.
00:28:44.000 What a great fucking movie.
00:28:45.000 And if you're a pool player, that's like, you know, that movie's like the holy grail of movies.
00:28:51.000 That's the holy grail of pool movies.
00:28:53.000 Because it was like a really good, dramatic film.
00:28:56.000 And it captured this guy's obsession to be the best pool player.
00:29:00.000 Although, quite honestly, Paul Newman really does not have a very believable stroke.
00:29:04.000 He needed to stay down on the ball a little bit more.
00:29:07.000 His follow-through was a little ham-fisted.
00:29:10.000 Whereas Jackie Gleason had a real stroke.
00:29:12.000 Jackie Gleason could actually run 100 balls, I believe.
00:29:14.000 I believe he at least ran 75 balls.
00:29:17.000 He was a real player.
00:29:18.000 You could tell by the way he would pocket balls.
00:29:21.000 He grew up on pool tables.
00:29:24.000 Did you hear Andy Griffin died today?
00:29:25.000 Andy Griffin?
00:29:26.000 From the Andy Griffin show?
00:29:27.000 Yeah.
00:29:27.000 Oh, that sucks.
00:29:29.000 That does suck.
00:29:29.000 That's like one of those, aww.
00:29:31.000 Yeah.
00:29:32.000 Nobody hated that guy.
00:29:33.000 Fucking nice guy.
00:29:35.000 And he's already buried.
00:29:37.000 He died today and he's already buried.
00:29:39.000 Wow.
00:29:39.000 Because he wanted an immediate burial.
00:29:42.000 Oh, he probably didn't want to be embalmed or something.
00:29:44.000 Yeah.
00:29:44.000 Is that possible?
00:29:45.000 I think you're allowed to do that.
00:29:46.000 What kind of craziness is this?
00:29:49.000 The universe eats our bodies.
00:29:50.000 That's just the way it is.
00:29:51.000 It's set up.
00:29:52.000 There's a bunch of shit inside the soil.
00:29:54.000 The soil is not just dirt.
00:29:56.000 The soil is alive.
00:29:57.000 It's alive with minerals.
00:29:58.000 It's alive with organisms.
00:29:59.000 Just a bunch of dead people.
00:30:00.000 There's a bunch of shit in there that would eat your body, and that's what it's supposed to do.
00:30:04.000 And you poison that stuff, you know, poison your body, and then cover them with makeup, so what, so people can stare at them, pretend you're not dead?
00:30:11.000 Why do you have a dead person with fucking makeup on lying in a bed with a rosary wrapped around their frozen, frigid hands Just bury them.
00:30:20.000 This is craziness.
00:30:22.000 Staring at a body doesn't do anybody any good.
00:30:24.000 What if we totally misguessed like how old the planet is and that actually all the dirt is just tons and tons of dead people from like billions and billions of years and like the middle there's just one person and that's God and he's just sitting there like in the middle of nowhere.
00:30:38.000 Well, that's, you know, that's kind of funny because that's what, like, some, there's some beaches that are covered in fish bones.
00:30:45.000 Like, the sand is actually, like, fish bones.
00:30:48.000 Like, where they have big die-offs.
00:30:50.000 Like, what is that?
00:30:52.000 The Salt-N-Sea.
00:30:53.000 Yes, the Salt-N-Sea, exactly.
00:30:54.000 There's areas, I haven't, have you gone, personally?
00:30:56.000 No, I don't want to go to that shit.
00:30:58.000 We talked about doing a podcast there once, but we, like, sobered up and we're like, what the fuck?
00:31:02.000 I've talked to so many people since then, because now that I know what it is, that talk about it.
00:31:06.000 I'm like, oh, I went there.
00:31:06.000 It's like, yeah, it stinks.
00:31:09.000 I don't know if I recommend it.
00:31:10.000 It's all right.
00:31:11.000 It's kind of weird, but it was a pretty miserable day.
00:31:14.000 I'm like, oh, that doesn't sound good.
00:31:16.000 Wow.
00:31:17.000 Yeah.
00:31:17.000 Well, if you don't know what it is, there's some fucking amazing documentary on it.
00:31:23.000 Who made that?
00:31:24.000 What is it?
00:31:25.000 Something in Pleasures of the Salt and Sea?
00:31:28.000 Do you remember the name of the documentary?
00:31:30.000 No.
00:31:30.000 God damn it.
00:31:31.000 I'm going to have to look it up.
00:31:33.000 Because it's really a fascinating documentary.
00:31:36.000 And it was all showing how it used to be like this amazing resort town.
00:31:42.000 Are you binging it?
00:31:43.000 No, I'm Googling it, bitch.
00:31:45.000 Did you see that picture of that Google car that got in a car accident?
00:31:49.000 Hey, I want to tell you something, man.
00:31:51.000 Before you change the subject on that.
00:31:53.000 That binging thing?
00:31:54.000 I tried Googling something and it binged me.
00:31:57.000 Oh, on your laptop?
00:31:58.000 Yes.
00:31:59.000 I wrote Google, and I did a Google search, and through some Microsoft fuckery, it became a Bing search.
00:32:07.000 I did not do that, though.
00:32:09.000 I did not turn it into a Bing search.
00:32:10.000 It became a Bing search.
00:32:12.000 I was like, wow, I don't think I like that.
00:32:14.000 I think that's kind of creepy.
00:32:16.000 Even if it's just a...
00:32:17.000 I mean, that's fuckery.
00:32:19.000 Yeah, Microsoft's tricky like that.
00:32:21.000 But that's immediate fuckery.
00:32:22.000 I've had this thing for two weeks.
00:32:24.000 That kind of shit creeps me out.
00:32:25.000 Yeah.
00:32:26.000 You know, let me Google it, bitch.
00:32:27.000 Why are you so scared?
00:32:28.000 You'll forget about it, though.
00:32:30.000 You'll be getting binged all the time.
00:32:32.000 You won't even realize...
00:32:32.000 What the fuck was I Google searching, dude?
00:32:38.000 How to come down from really high weed quickly.
00:32:41.000 Weren't you telling me to Google something?
00:32:43.000 The documentary on the...
00:32:45.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:46.000 Salt and Sea.
00:32:46.000 Jesus Christ.
00:32:51.000 I think it's John Waters.
00:32:56.000 John Waters.
00:33:01.000 He just loves documentaries about this.
00:33:05.000 Hydrations.
00:33:07.000 No, it's more of Plagues and Pleasures of the Salton Sea.
00:33:11.000 That's the documentary.
00:33:13.000 And it's really a special documentary.
00:33:18.000 It's really interesting.
00:33:19.000 Because this area in our lifetime went from being this amazing resort where everybody went to party...
00:33:28.000 To being a complete mess.
00:33:30.000 Everybody moved out.
00:33:31.000 It looks like the apocalypse, man.
00:33:33.000 The video is insane.
00:33:34.000 When you look at what it used to be like, everybody was driving around their motorboats and catching fish and they were all drinking and partying.
00:33:43.000 It was like some crazy resort where Sonny Bono grew up.
00:33:48.000 And he was a part of this big movement to try to bring it back.
00:33:51.000 And then you see what it became and you realize that that can happen inside our lifetime.
00:33:56.000 From fucking Sonny Bono.
00:33:57.000 The Sonny and Cher show was on when I was a kid.
00:33:59.000 I remember when Sonny Bono died when he went skiing into a fucking tree.
00:34:03.000 I was sad.
00:34:04.000 Sonny Bono seemed like a nice guy.
00:34:06.000 And from that era, from his life till now, The whole thing is just dead fish.
00:34:12.000 So much dead fish that the sand is bones.
00:34:16.000 There's a bony, crunchy sand.
00:34:21.000 The whole place just stinks of death.
00:34:23.000 They have massive, massive fish die-offs where like a million fish will die.
00:34:27.000 And they just flood the inland areas.
00:34:31.000 So all the boats have rotten fish around them.
00:34:34.000 I wonder if it's like a bucket of dead pussies, you know, like just like that bad or if it's just like, you know, like fishy bad, you know?
00:34:40.000 It's probably death.
00:34:41.000 It's probably the most depressing smell ever.
00:34:43.000 I don't think you could be happy smelling a million dead fish.
00:34:46.000 It's like nature is letting you know there's a terrible thing here.
00:34:49.000 This is what whatever's going on here.
00:34:51.000 This is terrible.
00:34:52.000 It's led a million organisms to shit out and just stop existing instantaneously.
00:34:59.000 That's not good.
00:34:59.000 Yeah.
00:35:00.000 But it looks like it used to be awesome.
00:35:02.000 It's crazy to watch.
00:35:04.000 It looks like it used to be this badass place that everybody would go to.
00:35:07.000 And, you know, you go to get your party on.
00:35:09.000 In our lifetime, it's become a nightmare.
00:35:12.000 And in this documentary, though, some dudes say it's not.
00:35:15.000 Some dudes say it's all hype.
00:35:16.000 And one guy was in the documentary that actually eats the fish.
00:35:19.000 He eats it like sashimi.
00:35:21.000 He doesn't even cook it.
00:35:22.000 He just fillets it.
00:35:23.000 And I was like, wow.
00:35:25.000 But maybe his body's just so used to that.
00:35:28.000 Maybe while he's doing that, he's got three cigarettes in his mouth at the same time.
00:35:31.000 He doesn't give a fuck about some fucking pollution.
00:35:34.000 Right.
00:35:35.000 You know?
00:35:35.000 I mean, if you really think about it, if you're a cigarette smoker, you'd be even concerned about pollution.
00:35:40.000 There's no way it could be possibly as bad as the shit you're self-inflicting.
00:35:45.000 You're voluntarily pumping that shit into your system.
00:35:47.000 Eat some dirty sashimi.
00:35:49.000 What are you worried about?
00:35:50.000 I think I'm done with sushi.
00:35:52.000 I'm just done with that.
00:35:53.000 Getting sick that last time really scared me away from it, I think.
00:35:57.000 Well, you can really fuck your system up if you get a parasite.
00:36:00.000 And they say that if you want to be really careful, you should only eat saltwater sushi.
00:36:04.000 You should only eat, like, tuna.
00:36:06.000 And you've got to be careful with freshwater stuff, because freshwater stuff can contain parasites.
00:36:11.000 Freshwater stuff can?
00:36:12.000 Yes.
00:36:13.000 You really should cook a lot of freshwater fishes.
00:36:15.000 I didn't know that.
00:36:16.000 Yeah, there's certain fishes that have parasites.
00:36:18.000 Like salmon can have parasites.
00:36:19.000 You have to be careful.
00:36:21.000 And you can get sick, man.
00:36:23.000 You can fuck up your digestive tract.
00:36:27.000 You know?
00:36:28.000 And it's just not good to have little fucking parasites inside your body, cunting it up.
00:36:33.000 You've really got to see Ted, man.
00:36:34.000 That was a really, really fun movie.
00:36:37.000 I'm glad.
00:36:37.000 And if you're like Family Guy, it feels good.
00:36:40.000 I like how he used a lot of the characters in Family Guy, but the actor parts, you know, like the real people, or actors in the movie.
00:36:48.000 So everything just feels comfortable.
00:36:49.000 It's funny.
00:36:50.000 There's a lot of drug use.
00:36:51.000 There's mushrooms and weed in it.
00:36:53.000 You know, when When I heard that that movie did good, I felt like a good guy won.
00:36:58.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:59.000 You know what I mean?
00:36:59.000 Like Seth MacFarlane is a...
00:37:01.000 I only met him once.
00:37:01.000 I did an episode of...
00:37:03.000 I think someone was on Fear Factor or something like that on a show, and I did it.
00:37:08.000 And then they made fun of me and American Dad, too, so that was kind of cool.
00:37:12.000 Have people tweet to get him on a podcast or something.
00:37:14.000 I'm sure he's busy as fuck now that his movie is gigantic now.
00:37:18.000 His movie took off.
00:37:19.000 But he's just a genuinely nice dude.
00:37:21.000 When I met him, you can tell when someone's like, he has a genuine smile, like a friendly dude.
00:37:26.000 So it's nice when you find out he's doing well.
00:37:29.000 But don't the South Park guys hate him?
00:37:32.000 No, I don't know.
00:37:34.000 Did they shit on him?
00:37:34.000 I think they're just competitive.
00:37:37.000 Is that what it is?
00:37:37.000 I don't know.
00:37:38.000 I don't think they hate him.
00:37:40.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:37:42.000 Matt Stone and Trey Parker, especially Trey Parker, he's such a fucking genius that you've got to let him go nutty every now and then on things.
00:37:51.000 It comes with the program.
00:37:56.000 He's out there Like, for how many years now?
00:37:59.000 Putting out the edgiest, most badass cartoon in the history of the world.
00:38:06.000 I mean, Family Guy's a nice cartoon, it's a fun show, and I do...
00:38:09.000 Oh, you alright?
00:38:10.000 Holy shit!
00:38:13.000 Dude, you got a short somewhere.
00:38:14.000 We should shut this thing down.
00:38:16.000 Ow, did you see that?
00:38:17.000 Yeah, you got to stop licking the microphone, you fuck.
00:38:19.000 I did, I didn't touch my cheek.
00:38:21.000 It's from you drooling, bro.
00:38:22.000 That's what it is.
00:38:23.000 You want to kill the podcast and try to figure out what's going on?
00:38:26.000 Yeah, what better?
00:38:27.000 That sparked my face.
00:38:28.000 Did you see the spark?
00:38:29.000 Ladies and gentlemen, this day seems to be cursed.
00:38:33.000 I'm glad that the podcast started at least a little late because we would have been stumbling idiots.
00:38:39.000 We got a hold of some pot that is from another planet.
00:38:42.000 As Joey Diaz would say, they say shit they gave Kennedy before they took the top off the convertible.
00:38:47.000 Wow.
00:38:48.000 You alright?
00:38:49.000 Are you going to die?
00:38:51.000 It sparked like lightning.
00:38:52.000 Just do the podcast from over there.
00:38:54.000 You'll be good.
00:38:55.000 We have a serious story here.
00:38:57.000 Throw some water on it.
00:38:58.000 It'll be fine.
00:38:59.000 That was a white lightning bolt spark.
00:39:02.000 That's God, you fuck.
00:39:04.000 You've been taunting God for your whole life.
00:39:07.000 God is upset.
00:39:09.000 God's upset with you, Brian.
00:39:11.000 Alright, folks.
00:39:12.000 We're going to have to figure out what this is so Brian doesn't die.
00:39:15.000 And we don't want Josh Barnett to have a flat tire and then get electrocuted.
00:39:19.000 Because that shit would be ridiculous.
00:39:21.000 So, we're going to figure out what's going on, hopefully, and we'll be back in about 10 to 15 minutes.
00:39:28.000 Is that probably accurate?
00:39:31.000 I don't know, man.
00:39:31.000 That was a lightning bolt in my face.
00:39:33.000 It's got to walk it off.
00:39:35.000 I'm going to walk it off.
00:39:36.000 10-15 minutes.
00:39:37.000 We'll see you guys in a little bit.
00:39:38.000 Thank you.