In this episode of the Joe Logan Experience Podcast, Joe and Brian discuss the joys of being a single parent and how to deal with it. Also, Brian talks about his trip to Piggly Wiggly and how he got herpes at the door of a strip club. Joe talks about how he almost got into a fight with a stripper. Joe also talks about the time he went to Disneyland and how it was like going to Disneyland when he was a kid and how much he loves Disneyland now that he's a grown man. Joe also tells the story of how he met his first girlfriend and how she almost got him in a fight at the strip club where he went on a date with a guy named Phil Hartman. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform so you never miss an episode. Joe Logan is a standup comedian, actor, comedian, writer, podcaster, and podcaster from Los Angeles, California. He is a frequent guest on Comedy Central and is one of the funniest people I know. He also hosts a radio show called and hosts a podcast called . and is a good friend of mine. I hope you enjoy this episode and that you enjoy it! -Joe Logan Experience is a podcast about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and the good ol' days of life. -Bryan and I are here to make you feel good about it all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode, brozz! -Joes and Brian (and thanks for coming along with us on this episode. I know it's a good one too. I appreciate you. XOXO, Brian and I know you'll be back soon! -Josie and I love you, too. Joes and I will see you soon! XO - Brian, Joes & I are back! -Alyssa, Josie & Brian -Drew, Jaxon, and I hope y'all are having a good day. ( ) :D - - Joe and I'm trying to be a little bit better next week! -Breezy, JOE - Joes, Jeezy & I'm sorry, Joe & I do not know what's going to be better than this next week... - OJ & I will be back next week.
00:05:12.000It's really interesting to me what's going on with some of these radio shows is because it's just the same shit every fucking day and they're just...
00:05:20.000It's like a soap opera of people screaming at each other.
00:06:57.000These things are amazing for your core strength.
00:07:00.000It's just what kettle balls are, it's basically like a cannonball with a handle on it.
00:07:04.000One of the coolest exercises is you just lying down on your back and standing up with that thing and then bringing it down to your back and then standing up with it again.
00:07:19.000To balance that bitch out, straighten your arm out.
00:07:22.000You engage muscles in a way that you almost never do by traditional weightlifting.
00:07:28.000It's really a weird type of working out, and I enjoy it.
00:07:32.000It's my favorite strength and conditioning exercise as far as applicable strength for jiu-jitsu and for anything athletic.
00:07:42.000Anything where you have to move things around when you have a body that's used to moving it around, itself around, plus weight in really awkward ways, you develop a very strong body.
00:07:54.000We're going to produce some videos and take you guys through a really good strength and conditioning workout.
00:08:00.000I think that would be a great thing for us to do, too.
00:08:03.000Just so you can get a sense of, like, what kind of benefits you can get from it.
00:08:06.000Especially if you see some of these, like, really fit dudes that are, you know, like these, like, Steve Maxwell-type dudes that have been doing it their whole lives that are in there.
00:08:14.000Yeah, Maxwell, I think, is, like, close to 60. And he looks fucking phenomenal.
00:08:19.000And he's a big advocate of kettlebells.
00:08:22.000Battle ropes, what these are, you might have seen them, Brock Lesnar use them in one of the countdown shows.
00:08:27.000They're these giant ropes that you would tie a ship down with.
00:08:41.000Sequences of movements, like in sprints.
00:08:43.000You do them for like sprints of 30 seconds, and then you relax for 20 seconds, and then sprints of 30 seconds, and holy fuck, is it brutal.
00:08:51.000I mean, it is some old school caveman type shit throwing ropes around, man.
00:08:56.000And when you throw ropes around, it's a real wild thing, man.
00:09:01.000Everything's working kind of together, but it's all like one big unit.
00:09:07.000Your whole body whipping these ropes, and they're all unbalanced and shit, and you're correcting for them all the time, and moving them, and whipping them left, and whipping them right.
00:09:31.000Use the code name ROGAN. You get 10% off of any of the supplements, including Hemp Force, which just gets released today.
00:09:39.000today the most fucking delicious hemp protein you've ever tasted in your life this is the top level shit it's all natural and it's even naturally sweet and it's sweetened with stevia raw cocoa and super nutritious this stuff is phenomenal for you and uh it's fucking expensive i'm gonna be honest with you um it's it's expensive to make it's expensive to get but it's the shit Well, it's because of the hemp.
00:10:05.000The hemp farms, there's only like three farms in Canada.
00:10:08.000Because our country's fucking retarded when it comes to certain plants, hemp is illegal.
00:10:15.000Even though hemp is not psychoactive, you can't get high from it.
00:10:21.000Well, hemp is a tremendous source of protein.
00:10:23.000And even though we're allowed to buy hemp products in this country, like hemp protein, which we import from Canada, even though you're allowed to buy it, you can't grow it here.
00:13:14.000Does it feel weird to you going there right after the tragedy?
00:13:18.000I haven't gone to see the movie yet because I don't want to sit there and go, this is what these poor ass people have seen or this is what they got scared.
00:13:48.000In Ohio, somebody came up with, like, a knife, a gun, ammo.
00:13:51.000Knife, fucking everything, hammers, this guy, you know.
00:13:53.000There's crazy fucking people out there, gentlemen.
00:13:55.000This is where the real cynical people, the really cynical, crazy conspiracy people, this is where they start thinking that the government is doing this.
00:14:04.000And that they're doing this on purpose because they want to disarm Americans.
00:14:07.000Because they know that everything's going to fall apart and they don't want people to have guns.
00:14:11.000I mean, that sounds completely ridiculous, but if you were going to write a movie about how some super corrupt multinational corporations figure out a way to control the whole world, you'd probably write it like that.
00:14:25.000You'd probably have everything wired and hooked up like that, right?
00:14:28.000If you throw in the jab of Alex Jones, I am his witness.
00:14:31.000In Houston at the UFC, he told me to my face that in two years, there was going to be TSA security at parks and movie theaters.
00:14:39.000And I was right there when he told me that.
00:14:42.000He told me that to my face, we're sitting outside of the UFC. And we're just talking about different things.
00:14:49.000Is it just a natural thing that because there's a lot of crime, because there's a lot of despair, the economy's in the toilet, it's a natural thing that things pop off and crazy people do shit like this?
00:15:01.000Or do you want to follow the conspiracy theory point where they think that they're doing this on purpose because they've engineered the collapse of the dollar, they know that the world economy is going to implode, and they don't want people to be armed?
00:15:15.000They want to be able to maintain power.
00:15:47.000And it's been pointed out before that the American public has tried to do this.
00:15:52.000Excuse me, the government has tried to do this.
00:15:57.000The Operation Northwoods was written where it was an idea that they were going to fake attacks on American civilians to get us to go to war with Cuba.
00:16:04.000They were going to blow up a jetliner and say there was people in it.
00:16:08.000They were going to arm Cuban friendlies to attack Guantanamo Bay.
00:16:12.000That's like a real thing that they were going to do to try to get us into a war with Cuba.
00:16:17.000So when you find out about conspiracies, like crazy things like that, where you're like, wow, like, they would fake shit?
00:17:01.000Is the Joint Chiefs of Staff, did they have a meth problem at the time and they got like new ones like the next day?
00:17:07.000Brian, I think they used to rock it like that all the time.
00:17:10.000That's why when, you know, these conspiracy nuts come out and they say, hey, we believe that this guy was brainwashed and someone got a hold of him and they did an experiment with him and he's like a Manchurian candidate.
00:17:41.000If the government really did find some super sophisticated way where they could just say, pumpkin, to you, and you fucking snap and wire yourself up with grenades and run into a room full of important people and blow yourself up, you don't think they would do that?
00:21:10.000That's what I was doing with my financial aid money.
00:21:12.000what you do is you sign up for 18 credits and you get money for 18 credits but right before the school season starts you cut it down to 9 and you pocket that Gitas by the time they know what the fuck is going on and they send you a letter in the mail the Gitas is gone it's at the happy hour go deal with the bartender and the coke dealer that might be the greatest word ever Geetus.
00:26:30.000One thing I love about Joe Lozon is when they match him up.
00:26:33.000Just by who, like if they match him up against somebody who's a great striker, the better the striker, I know Joe Lozon has a better chance of winning.
00:29:05.000He's got great wrestling and great use of his body.
00:29:08.000He did a lot of sumo when he was a kid, which sounds silly, right?
00:29:11.000But they're really good at throwing people off in certain directions and pushing forward and planting yourself.
00:29:19.000He's got amazing tricks that he does inside with little leg trips and shit like that.
00:29:25.000It'd be interesting to see him versus, look, if Henderson somehow or another beats Jon Jones, seeing him, Lyoto Machida versus Henderson, I would really like to see that fight.
00:29:40.000I would love to see that fight because they're both kind of on the small side for light heavyweight.
00:29:44.000Lyoto weighed 201. Henderson's usually somewhere around there.
00:29:48.000Even when he fights at 205, he usually weighs around 200-ish.
00:29:51.000You know, I think that would be an incredible fight.
00:29:55.000Henderson Jones is going to be a crazy fight too, man.
00:29:58.000If Henderson wins, he's like the greatest mixed martial arts fighter of all time, if you really look at it.
00:30:03.000If you look at it, like, as far as accomplishments, the guy wins two different titles in Pride, in two different weight classes, and then he holds them at the same time.
00:30:12.000Comes over to Strikeforce, wins a title in Strikeforce.
00:30:15.000He has He's a knockout over heavyweights Like Fedor Emelianenko Guy knocked out Fedor You know what I mean Dan Henderson is a motherfucker dude That guy is a motherfucker You can never sleep on that guy Let's see if he figures out Jon Jones Let's see if he figures out anybody, man.
00:30:55.000And I think he's more dangerous at 205 than he is at 185. I think especially as you get older, it's hard for a guy like that to cut all that weight.
00:31:02.000You know, I think when he doesn't cut weight, he's one of the rare guys that can do it.
00:31:06.000Fights effectively at 205. I think when he doesn't cut that weight, I think maybe he feels a little bit healthier.
00:31:13.000Out of so many years of doing that shit, man, that's like one of the worst aspects of fighting is the weight cutting.
00:32:25.000You're not going to beat a 190-pound guy if you really weigh 170. If he's just as skilled as you, that extra 20 pounds, even though it fucked his organs up and might I've almost shut his kidney down, and he had to get reinflated with IVs.
00:32:38.000He's probably still going to beat you, because he's a bigger guy.
00:32:41.000He's got more mass, especially if he can get you to the ground.
00:34:32.000And when they made that movie, when they sent the mob guy to beat him up in that movie, the devil, whoever beats him up in Angel Heart, that's what he had, these little tiny pitbulls.
00:38:05.000Yeah, a lot of people called me a pussy because I felt it.
00:38:08.000I was at the ice house and it was like a huge jolt and then like a sway.
00:38:12.000And the whole building made like this crackly noise.
00:38:16.000And I'm like, okay, I'm getting the fuck out of here because this building's way like, you know, when's the last time this building's been checked?
00:41:03.000They had improv down in this kind of crazy area where there's like a lot of different clubs.
00:41:07.000You know, it's like there's little patches of fun places in this world where people figure out how to do something right.
00:41:15.000But there's something cool about when you go to a place and like all these different places all empty out into a common place, like a courtyard area.
00:41:23.000As long as everybody can keep their shit together.
00:41:25.000Baltimore, that's also, I think, wasn't it the same place where that dude got knocked unconscious and they fucking filmed it and they took his clothes off and made a video of it?
00:42:18.000The kid who just died, the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, he came to our show and was talking to us in the back room in Atlantic City.
00:42:26.000That was when the guy, Tim Sylvia, and what's his name, the coach from Iowa, and the farmer, they were all down there because somebody was fighting.
00:42:36.000We were down there, IFL. We were down there to do a show.
00:42:40.000That weekend when I got off stage, he came up to me all juiced up, the kid.
00:42:44.000He's like, dog, whatever you need, we got you covered here.
00:42:46.000My father's the coach of the fucking Eagles.
00:42:48.000All I got to do is make a call, bitch.
00:42:50.000So the other day when I saw that, I was like, wow, that kid, unless he has other kids, but that was, he had the shirt and the hat.
00:42:56.000He was very, uh, so my condolences to the fucking, uh, I remember looking down in the crowd and Henzo Gracie was there laughing his ass off.
00:46:05.000But when he loses, and he loses because a guy's bigger than him, it makes you think, like, man, I wish you could do it at 155. I hope you could do it at 155, but, you know, maybe 145 is your weight loss.
00:52:06.000It's just that when you do cross that border, it's a very bizarre feeling that you're only 20 minutes away from the place where all of the law doesn't apply.
00:52:18.000And now you have to live with this rinky-dink set of laws from this other country.
00:52:23.000And, you know, you might run into a cop who says that you were speeding and you just got to give him money because that's how they roll down there.
00:52:29.000And who knows how many fucking people are involved in doing illegal shit and moving drugs around.
00:53:01.000Anthony Bourdain went recently on his show, and I really enjoyed that show.
00:53:04.000It was cool because he met with a lot of cool Mexicans that live in Tijuana that were sort of giving him the real deal on how everything went down there and took him to a bunch of different bars.
00:53:14.000And it didn't seem to me to be as dangerous as I thought it was or as dangerous as everybody always publicizes it.
00:53:22.000But you've got to realize that it could get that way at any moment.
00:53:28.000You're partying in a country where shit is just way different.
00:53:33.000And you can get lucky and do it a thousand times in a row, or you can get unlucky and you be there when some drug lord's trying to make a point.
00:53:40.000Like some dude's trying to move product and someone's trying to block him, so he decides to light his fucking nightclub on fire.
01:00:53.000There's a weird balance between your parents being successful and your parents being a good parent.
01:00:59.000Because if the parent is really successful, they probably have to work a lot.
01:01:02.000And if they work all the time, constantly, they're probably not going to be around as much, so they're not going to be as good of a father.
01:01:09.000And if you're going to dedicate more time to your work than you are to your kids, your kids are probably going to grow up to fucking resent you.
01:04:40.000Flash is getting worse and worse and worse.
01:04:43.000It's gotten to the point now where my computer, and I found out this does it on Alienware, this does it on every computer that uses Flash, where it will load up a Flash movie, and then your whole computer just kind of freezes for like a second, and then it kind of catches back up.
01:06:50.000The new operating system, new Mac OS, has screen sharing on it, So you can just hit this button.
01:07:02.000And any TV that has Apple TV, it sends your monitor to the TV now.
01:07:07.000So if you want to work on a 70-inch resolution screen on your laptop or whatever, you just hit this button and it will flip it to your TV. So I'm sitting there watching YouTube or doing websites and watching videos on my big TV. Yeah.
01:08:33.000I gotta go to Ustream and shut off the volume.
01:08:35.000You gotta see the, and I seen this movie as a kid on acid, and the other night somebody sent it to me, and I went to YouTube, and I had to watch it three times in a row.
01:12:40.000Um, development was started 20 years ago.
01:12:43.000So I guess they started digging and they found this shit.
01:12:46.000And now a 10-year ecological investigation by the Museum of London has discovered that the likely cause to be volcano, which led to world temperatures cooling down and crops failing, resulting in a mass starvation.
01:13:02.00010,500 skeletons dating from the 12th to the 16th century were uncovered by the archaeologists, including mass burial pits that had scientists baffled because the radiocarbon dating didn't match known events in medieval England like the Black Death or the Great Famine.
01:14:22.000I think, first of all, yeah, they did go, and it's awesome.
01:14:25.000And when you spend money on scientific innovation for space travel, you're dealing with the cream of the crop of people that are trying to figure out how to manipulate space and matter and transport things and how to...
01:14:41.000I mean, you're dealing with the most...
01:14:44.000The most knowledgeable scientists on Earth strive to be- Then how come they get gas for $2?
01:16:17.000We care about shit that got nothing to fucking do with us.
01:16:20.000This is why I care about it, because it's cool as fuck.
01:16:22.000When that thing lands on Mars and starts taking pictures and sending it through the sky, and I see a room full of people who've worked on nothing but this for years, and they're cheering.
01:20:00.000I don't see any Gidus, and that's going to Mars, except taking a bunch of rich people and charging them to take them to Mars is a cool trick.
01:20:17.000If you want to argue about keeping people safe, the best way to keep people safe, look, I'm not saying that I advocate drones because a fuckload of civilians have died from the use of drone attack, but if they eventually get that shit wired to the point where they can kill everybody they want to kill, that's where, it's the scientists that are involved in making that shit are the same scientists that are involved in making all sorts of different spacecrafts and aircrafts.
01:20:41.000And I love them that they're making the spacecraft.
01:21:34.000Every time they send something to Mars or do these missions, they're also doing hundreds of experiments.
01:21:41.000And these experiments are experiments that we can't do down on Earth.
01:21:47.000And a lot of these experiments lead to other things that do help us out, like cures for cancer and fucking time travel.
01:21:55.000Well, let's get the cue of the fucking gas to be $1.50.
01:21:57.000It's going to come a point in time, if we follow the path that we're on right now, where we might not be living on this fucking planet anymore, where human beings might pollute this motherfucker to the point where we're going to want to escape.
01:22:09.000And what they're going to do is they're going to send shit to Mars to terraform, just like they did in the movie Aliens.
01:22:14.000And they're going to put a fucking fake atmosphere on Mars, and that's going to be a little escape colony.
01:22:39.000Well, you know, it does look like Arizona, but you know, there's a real theory that's a fascinating theory that Mars used to inhabit life and that it used to have an atmosphere, but it was hit by an asteroid.
01:22:50.000And that's one of the reasons why they want to keep sending things there and get their tests, because if it was a planet that supported life like ours, but then it was hit by an asteroid, we realize that we've had mass extinctions on this planet, at least two of them that were caused by asteroids.
01:23:06.000You know, hundreds of millions of years ago and then 65 million years ago.
01:23:09.000They know that there's been some just doozies that have landed.
01:23:12.000But it's possible that one could land that just kills the whole thing.
01:23:57.000They're gonna have to restructure this whole fucking thing.
01:24:00.000The way this thing works now, first of all, getting people to office is absolute horseshit.
01:24:05.000This whole electoral college, that might have worked when there was a hundred fucking farmers out there in the middle of Pennsylvania and that's it.
01:26:27.000I saw this basketball game where somebody just, like, he seriously just ran into the guy and pretty much almost punched the guy's ball out of him.
01:26:35.000Yeah, there's a lot of people getting fucking uptight.
01:26:38.000I mean, you think about the pressure involved in being in the Olympics.
01:26:40.000You represent your whole country and flying through the air.
01:28:42.000That's why when you always said to me that Nick Diaz swims to whatever the fuck, Alcatraz, I got to tell you, that's one of the roughest waters.
01:29:20.000I think he was on Real World or something like that, one of those shows.
01:29:24.000But then he was a pro wrestler, and he came on Fear Factor once.
01:29:28.000And I'm telling you, man, we had a lot of people on Fear Factor, but this motherfucker was the most fit guy we ever had on Fear Factor, period.
01:30:23.000You know, when I was embarrassed and I went to the Y one day and I asked the guy to train me and I got on the treadmill, I could only do three minutes.
01:32:30.000I jump into this wire, and I go into the middle, and I'm trying to get out of there, Joe, and these two Mexican kids are like, Mister, can we help you?
01:35:18.000So we get really small amounts of water from...
01:35:21.000Well, when the Earth was born, we had been hit by many, many different asteroids and many bodies from outer space, but very likely we'd been hit by giant slabs of ice from outer space, and that the water that we have on this Earth comes from other planets.
01:35:36.000And that everything in this world is extraterrestrial because the whole planet has been created by things that have come from other planets that have been sucked into it.
01:35:48.000It's not like, you know, it wasn't like there was a thing and it was the Earth.
01:35:52.000No, the thing, the Earth, was nailed by asteroids.
01:35:54.000The moon was created because it was hit by another planet.
01:36:35.000I don't know how many of them actually do land, but I do know that the water that we have is from a lot of it, they believe, is from, like, Pansperia, the idea that comes from asteroids and shit.
01:36:43.000So you can almost say that our waters could be being, like, ingredients added to it from aliens.
01:38:58.000Because they found all of this, it's a type of molten rock that occurs during nuclear tests, and it also occurs during meteor impacts.
01:39:08.000And they found it all over the world, at the same core level, when they do soil samples.
01:39:16.000Then they go down to between 10,000 and 12,000 years, I believe it is, somewhere in that range.
01:39:21.000That's where they keep finding it, all over the earth.
01:39:23.000And that's also significantly when the end of the Ice Age sort of is.
01:39:30.000It's sort of coinciding with the same time.
01:39:33.000Like 10,000 years ago, that's when people were making their way across here from Russia and the Bering Strait.
01:39:40.000The whole ice age of 10,000 years ago ended abruptly, and a lot of animals died in mass extinction events, like woolly mammoths, saber-toothed tigers, died in mass graves.
01:39:51.000And the speculation is that was the last big meteor shower, and that somewhere around 10,000 to 12,000 years ago, most of civilization got fucked sideways.
01:40:00.000again a lot of people started all over again and that explains a lot of things explains um a lot of uh ancient buildings that nobody knows how the fuck they built them it's most more most likely that we had went on a we had gotten a very high level of sophistication i say we they the people in a bunch of different shit but um we went in a totally different path once we rebuilt and then our path when we rebuilt was a little bit more lost and became more technological in nature
01:40:28.000But you can't deny the shit that they built.
01:40:32.000You know, just look at the Acropolis and the Parthenon.
01:40:35.000You think these motherfuckers built that shit thousands and thousands of years ago on top of some shit that was from thousands of years before that?
01:40:42.000It might have been a super advanced culture that got fucked up by meteors.
01:40:45.000Just because I get a little fucked up.
01:40:46.000All this stuff that they have in Greece now.
01:40:48.000Was this also part of Greek mythology, like Medusa?
01:40:51.000Like when I watched Clash of the Titans.
01:41:03.000I think if I had to guess what the Greek gods were all about, I would have to guess...
01:41:07.000You have to have, first of all, some sort of an explanation for storms and, you know, we don't have to deal with too much fucking weather here in sunny California.
01:41:17.000We're getting pretty soft because of that.
01:41:19.000But if you live on the East Coast and you've been anywhere near a hurricane, you know how goddamn terrifying Mother Nature can be.
01:41:26.000And if you're living in Greece, I'm assuming they get some sort of storms.
01:41:30.000I'm assuming that their leaders would have to have some sort of an explanation of what the fuck is going on.
01:41:35.000And I think it's a form of expression in creativity.
01:41:37.000They figured out a way to create Thor and Zeus and create this whole mythology behind it.
01:41:43.000And it was probably just to calm everybody the fuck down and keep everybody together.
01:41:47.000They probably had to have some sort of an explanation.
01:43:44.000And I think if you're going to use the visual medium of movie, that is one of the coolest ways to tell a story because that is the one thing that you cannot achieve in writing.
01:43:55.000I mean, if you say that it can never live up to the writing, well, this is where we're showing you things with no dialogue whatsoever.
01:44:02.000You know, like painting, that's like one of the best ways you can create with a visual medium.
01:48:11.000I don't know, but Stallone did a movie where he goes to jail and in there they work on a car.
01:48:16.000Remember they worked on a car and the car was fast and it brought him back and Please, please, look it up because I'm not going to make it home.
01:51:13.000We think it's good, but kids will not think that's good.
01:51:18.000I watched Superman the other day, and I watched Return of the Batman, or whatever, the one with Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito as the Joker.
01:51:55.000But Superman 2, like, a part was, like, this one girl, like, Lois Lane, like, he pushed over the edge or something like that, and then he jumped over the edge, and then he...
01:52:14.000He was Clark Clinton when he jumped off, when he supposedly changed his clothes while he was falling, and then put his clothes somewhere, and then grabbed her.
01:53:05.000Like, how stupid were people that they thought that was cool?
01:53:08.000We've seen it a little bit, because I remember when I was a kid, growing up, I was really into special effects from monster movies and Harryhausen.
01:54:09.000The suspense still holds up, but there's a scene where the fucking spaceship is flying through the clouds, and it looks so bad, it looks like a Saturday Night Live episode.
01:54:20.000It looks like Toontz's the cat is driving the spaceship.
01:55:15.000The first thing he did is he hit some dude in the dick with a shotgun, hit his buddy, and then the guy was playing music on the speaker and he shot the fucking speaker to get the Mexicans off the thing.
01:55:56.000You know, that story I heard about when they did The Magnificent Seven, and they all got together, and they said, listen, dog, we can't let this fucking Yul Brynner steal our fucking heat.
01:56:13.000So this was an American movie, and there was, you know, Steve McQueen, James Colbert, Charles Bronson, and they're like, let's torture this motherfuckers.
01:58:12.000There was a lot of subtlety back then.
01:58:14.000Like a guy would walk in and look at the clock, and then look at a guy who worked there, and the guy who worked there would go over and change the clock.
01:59:08.000You know, that guy's a great fucking director.
01:59:10.000And today, we have a few couple directors, but not that show you that imagination, bro.
01:59:15.000When you leave there, fucks with your head a little bit.
01:59:17.000Well, I think what's going on now, too, is that there's so much money involved in making a movie, and there's so many different people involved in their opinions.
01:59:24.000When you get a $100 million investment in some crazy-ass movie, unless you're James Cameron, where you could just run the show.
01:59:31.000A guy like James Cameron, he fucking tells everybody what to do, he's an asshole.
02:01:31.000But Lone Wolf McQuaid was still a karate movie.
02:01:34.000Because that was David Carradine and Chuck Norris would go at it at the end in the big fucking ultimate finale karate scene that you knew Chuck Norris was going to win because it's his movie.
02:04:45.000And then that's their job to try to turn it back around.
02:04:48.000She's a master at adjusting that arm bar.
02:04:52.000Like, making sure that once she locks a hole in that arm, she rolls with them, she flips them.
02:04:57.000Like, if you watch her fight with Misha Tate, or if you watch a lot of her victories, one of the girls, she dislocated her arm, and the girl said she didn't tap, and her arm was jacked.
02:05:34.000Like if you first learn a rear naked choke and you've never choked a guy before, you know, a guy gets a hand on the chin and he turns and the next thing you know he's out and you don't even know what happened.
02:05:41.000But if you get good at it, you know what a guy can do to get out.
02:05:45.000And so you stop all that shit from happening.
02:05:48.000The more you roll, the more mat time you get, the more reps you get, the more time you spend actually choking people, the better you get at that.
02:08:05.000The reality is, Rhonda is such a badass that there's been a lot of attention on the women's MMA movement now, where there wasn't just a year or two ago, when Gina Carano stopped fighting, when she stepped out, and Rhonda, the other two, Rhonda has, like, stepped up the cyborg, like, a bunch of times.
02:08:21.000If you've never seen, if you don't know what the fuck we're talking about, there's a woman named Cyborg.
02:08:24.000If you were a chick and you were fighting, what would be your biggest nightmare?
02:08:28.000Well, your biggest night would be a woman who's not attractive, who looks like a man, who's built like a man, and she knows how to fuck people up.
02:09:17.000And it was just, if you really think about it, if she really was cheating, and that's what she did once she was cheating, like, if she really was, I mean, there's really not that many, we talked about it on the podcast, we even had a doctor, we had Dr. Steve call up and explain it to us, is it possible to look like that without some sort of enhancement?
02:09:48.000They have good arms, and they're thick, and they have big legs and everything like that, but they have a much more feminine look to their musculature.
02:09:56.000There's a certain level that some women have gotten, and Cyborg's one of them.
02:10:02.000What's the joke you used to do about the fucking Noah's Ark?
02:12:29.000I think, you know, there's a difference between a woman doing performance-enhancing drugs and a man doing them, in my opinion.
02:12:37.000When a woman starts introducing things that just don't exist in that level ever in her body, you know, it's a different thing to that than a guy taking, like, testosterone replacement therapy to try to be like a young man again.
02:13:47.000And that's what they have to do, right?
02:13:48.000Because that's what that sport demands.
02:13:50.000Look, it's all about body dysmorphia at that point.
02:13:53.000When you're involved in bodybuilding, it's just like when you see a woman, and no disrespect to anybody who has this, your tits are too big and you're crazy.
02:14:02.000You just get like a thousand cc's and they're like, I want to get another 200. Like, What are you doing?
02:14:14.000And they get this body dysmorphia, and they just, it's not about looking good.
02:14:18.000Like, if you go back to, like, the Frank Zane days, you know, you go back to, like, before steroids, you know, that guy was in tremendous shape, and he was proportioned, and it was all about making your body, working hard to get your body in proportion.
02:14:30.000Then it became about steroids, and then the Arnold Schwarzenegger era, and then forward into the Lee Haney era.
02:14:37.000It became about these cartoonish, monstrous human beings.
02:14:54.000There's a woman who lives down the street from me, and I won't say her name, but she was a very successful female bodybuilder back in the day.
02:15:00.000And now she looks like she's paid a price for it, man.
02:22:18.000You turned me on to something that I almost called you at 4 in the morning, called you a cocksucker 20 times, because it was one of the most devastating things I've seen in my life, and I'm not being funny right now, guys.
02:22:28.000And how you sick motherfuckers watch that shit is beyond me.
02:22:31.000I finally watched that Sasha Gray video that you referred to me when the 20 guys are fucking up.
02:23:54.000I'm always worried psychologically when I see someone do one of those crazy movies where, you know, those 15 dudes jerking off in your eyeballs.
02:28:28.000So I'm guessing they're selling something to someone somewhere, but it's nothing like the roaring 20s of porn that they had that they experienced out here for a couple decades.
02:28:37.000For a couple decades, it was like, even though it was not respectable, there was people that had these giant-ass fucking houses and drove Ferraris, and the neighbors would be like, well, who's that guy?
02:29:12.000Now it's like these hustler dudes who are sticking a camera in a girl's asshole and filming these audition tapes where girls meet them in conference rooms and they fuck them on a couch and Come on their face and make them sign a waiver and it's all like Gonzo style.
02:31:40.000Peep shows, and my friend Johnny used to go to peep shows when he was on crack.
02:31:45.000He said that smoking crack, he goes, you could never get a hot on, but you were always horny.
02:31:50.000So I'd go, and these fucking dirty bitches, they'd be right behind a glass, and I'd pay them, and they'd be right in front of me with their dirty ass, and I'd be jerking off, and I couldn't get a hot on.
02:31:59.000But he goes, but I'd be there all day when I was smoking crack.
02:32:02.000Somehow or another, the people that are smoking crack, they get on those heavy amphetamines, smoking those things, they want to watch a lot of porn.
02:32:11.000It's like a big thing from meth people.
02:32:13.000A lot of meth people like to watch porn.
02:32:15.000I guess it's because they just want to go super dirty.
02:34:13.000People don't smoke weed, don't even know what it fucking feels like.
02:34:16.000When you get high with your woman, and you know, especially if you really love a chick, you've been there a while, you're like really close, you're not fighting, there's no bullshit, there's no animosity, no weirdness, no need, no extra need that's hovering over every fucking conversation you have.
02:34:36.000There's a lot of bad relationships out there, Joey Diaz.
02:34:38.000But if you got a good one, if you got a good one, you smoke weed with your lady and make out, have some sex.
02:35:23.000I might drink tonight because I haven't drank in a week.
02:35:25.000He came on the podcast yesterday and I was just thinking, what a fucking positive guy.
02:35:29.000You know, when we were talking about this whole death squad thing about all of us, one of the most beautiful things is the friends that we've made and that we've formulated this.
02:38:28.000It's amazing when you first start fucking when you're like 15 and 16. That's why I always loved that song Night Moves, that Bob Seger song, because that reminded me of this chick.
02:38:38.000Because me and this chick were just awkward, and we were in love with each other, supposedly, but not really.
02:38:44.000What it really was like, we would just go on these horrendous fuck rampages to try to escape our reality through a relationship, through intense sex, and, you know, just the awkwardness of growing up.
02:50:00.000And also tonight we have the Ice House Chronicles that goes off about 10-ish.
02:50:05.000We usually do it about a half an hour before the podcast, and if you want to tune into that, it's going to be right here on this motherfucker, right here on this Ustream channel, bitches.
02:54:07.000and all I know is tomorrow night, Friday night, Paramount Theater, 8 o'clock, Brendan Walsh, Joe Rogan taking off the fucking hooks, Joey Diaz, Ready to Rock, Stone to the Gills, and then we're at the Mandalay Bay Event Center, the whole fucking Dead Squad crew, the Flying Jew, Duncan Trussell, Joey Diaz, and my man, the fucking Duncan Trussell, Joey Diaz, and my man, the fucking headliner, Joe Rogan, where else we going, Doug?
02:54:28.000The Mandalay Bay one's going to be big.
02:56:31.000We have the coolest crowds in the world that come to these shows and don't think we don't appreciate it because we talk about it all the time.